The American Battleship in Commission

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GIFT OF

Miss Alice

J.

Farno

THE AMERICAN BATTLESHIP IN

COMMISSION

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The American In

Battleship

Commission

AS SEEN BY AN ENLISTED MAN ALSO

Many Man-o'-war Yarns

PUBLISHED BY

THE AUTHOR

Army and Navy Register WASHINGTON, D. C., and NEW YORK CITY DISTRIBUTORS

Gift Copyright, 1906, by

THOMAS BEYER Bluejacket, U. S.

Navy

PRESS OF

BRAUNWORTH &

CO,

BOOKBINDERS AND PRINTERS BROOKLYN, N. Y.

DEDICATION This Book

is

Dedicated to the Relatives and Friends of the

Bluejackets and

all

of the

United states Navy,

other "shore folks"

personnel of

who

are interested in the

a great Navy.

M183S0S

PREFACE The I,

entire contents of this

the author,

am

make excuses

book concern the Navy.

an enlisted man.

book

This preface

is

not

work speaks for my a in which all important sailors itself. keep Many log Were it not for the log which I events are recorded. have kept, I would undoubtedly have been unable to to

for

much

write this book, since from this record.

My

general public with as as possible,

caused

me

;

the

of the contents were derived

main object

much

is

to

furnish the

information about the

and by having a plain education to write the contents in a style of

Navy it

my

has

own,

but the book, however, contains the material.

Although the book ship in Commission,"

is

entitled

'*

The American

Battle-

does not signify that the conIt has taken me two tents pertain only to battleships. work to this of book. I am writcomplete years steady an from enlisted man's about the point of view, Navy ing and not in a single instance have I intentionally misrepit

resented the service in any particular.

What

I

have

written represents the actual conditions as I have found them to be.

Upon warded approval

completing the manuscript of it

to the

Navy Department

to publish

the same.

I

this

book

I for-

Washington for was then and still at

PREFACE

Vlll

am an

enlisted

'

man.

With the manuscript

I

enclosed a

reasons for writing the book. weeks later I received the following letter

letter stating

Two

my

:

Office of Naval Intelligence, Washington, D. C. October ly, igo^.

Sir:

Replying further to your letter of October 5th, I am authorby the Secretary of the Navy to inform you that the Department authorizes you to publish your book entitled "The American Battleship in Commission." I wish you all success ized

Your manuscript

with your book.

is

returned by registered

mail.

(Signed)

Very respectfully, Seaton Schroeder, Captain U.

S.

N.

receiving permission to publish my book, I sat rewrote part of the manuscript, thus improvI hkve taken special pains in a great many ways.

Upon

down and ing

it

book well, with the best illustrations describe each view so that the reader and to obtainable, Were I to will more readily understand the contents. to illustrate the

explain about big guns, torpedoes, etc., in a technical manner, it would mean little or nothing to the average reader. Therefore, I have attempted to explain in a

simple

way

the

main rudiments, from which the reader

can easily understand the general working principle.

Throughout the book the reader

will notice the ab-

sence of "I's," and I am elated over the fact, because it has been my intention to write actual facts in an impersonal manner.

PREFACE

The book

IX

Part I deals divided into two parts. II contains while Part mainly with the Navy proper, is

yarns, sketches, etc., many of which are personal experiences. Perhaps a brief account of myself would not be amiss.

many man-o'-war

I

was born

in

Oakland, California, in 1876, and enlisted

Shortly after enlisting I was sent Navy out to the Asiatic Station to join Admiral Dewey's fleet.

in the

I

in 1898.

served on the following sea-going ships

timore^ U. S. S. Bennington^ U. S. Solace^ and the U. S. S. Oregon,

:

U.

My

Bal-

S. S.

S. Yosemite^

U.

S. S.

present term of

enlistment expires in October, 1906.

Very

respectfully,

Thomas Beyer, Ship-Jitter, first-class^ U. S.

Navy.

CONTENTS BOOK

I

CHAPTER

I PAGS

The Navy

i

Building and Commissioning

8

Officers of the Ship Officers are Made

15

How

CHAPTER

25 II

Preparing for a Voyage At Sea

26

In Port

31

28

Daily Routine Drills of the

33

Week

36

Description of Drills

CHAPTER

38 III

The Crew and Their Duties Rate and Pay of Every Enlisted

Man

52 66

Opportunities Enlistment

72

Sailors'

Duds Amusements and Pastimes

77

Man-o'-war Lingo

78 81

73

CONTENTS

XU

CHAPTER

IV PAGE

86

Ordnance

How Armor

is

Made

87

Main Guns Crew of a Large Gun

90

93

Intermediate and Secondary Battery How a Large Gun is Made

Guns

Ammunition Weight of Projectiles Torpedoes

96

99 102 105 105

CHAPTER V Nomenclature of the Ship Drainage System Ventilation System Fresh and Salt Water Systems Description of United States Vessels How the Navy has Grown in Twelve Years Vessels under Construction

Summary

124 126 127 128

139 143

of Important Vessels Built

CHAPTER

iii

144

VI

145 Types of Warships Years on the Oregon 152 How a Battleship is Docked 154 Admiral Dewey's Fleet at Manila Bay Compared with a Modern Battleship 160 162 How the Crew is Divided Different

Two

Naval Notes

167

CONTENTS

BOOK

Xlll

II

MAN-O'-WAR YARNS PACK

Stand by the Pic

192

How

192

No

Weight of a Porker Music

to Tell the

Teeth,

No

A

Contraband Bow-wow Tell it to a Marine

193

194 195

Wash-day

196

A

198

Sinking Ship Presto Change !

198

!

Dogs To-morrow

199 200

is the Day After Number-One Kind Tea-set A Fowl Move Show Me

A

201

203 205 206

Personal Story

An Old

Salt's Salty Saltings

The Wreck

of the

U.

S. S.

Yosemite

Sea-going Smiles

Good-morning Perpetual Reward

208 211

220 226

A

227

Ingenuity

230

Stormy Weather on the Gulf

231

A

232

Dry Ship

Frenzied Finance Full Rations

Ah Choy

A

Rookie's Letter Lost a Ward-room Cake

Two

—

Sea-dogs Growling Salty Riddles

A Few

234 236 237 238 240 241 245

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS Thomas Beyer Launching

A

of the

Battleship

U.

S. S. Connecticut

Under Construction

Three Rear-Admirals U. S. S. Rhode Island, U. S. S. Alabatna at Sea Signaling from the Bridge

On

Company, U. Outward Bound

S. S. Charleston

" '*

**

U. U.

S. S. S. S.

42

48 56 62 66

74 80 ^Z

''

*'

**

"

Navy-yard Scene Taking Life Easy

Young Naval Virginia on Her Iowa

" '*

^Q3i

A

of

" "

2it

24 30 2>^

The Pennsylvania's Broadside The New Bliss-Leavitt Turbine Torpedo

Group

18

"

Boxing Aboard the West Virginia

A

12

"

"

The Wooden Navy .

"

"

A Galley Scene A Few Mascots

V ^, ^. Charleston A Six-inch Gun

/

'*

the Quarterdeck

Ship's

Frontispiece opp. p. 6

Officers

Trial Trip

96 102 108

"

114 120

"

126

" *'

130

140

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

XIV

U.

A U.

S. S. TVesf Virginia at

Monitor S. S.

How

at

Anchor

Sea

"

Bound Docked

is

**

Taking Stores Aboard Naval Y. M. C. A. Building, Brooklyn, N. Y. A Homeward-bound Pennant A Submarine Boat

**

"

" **

Getting the Liberty Boats Ready. Waiting for the Admiral

**

U. S. S. Ohio Race-boat and Crew, U. S. S. Illinois Ship's Company, U. S. S. Chattanooga A New Race-horse

*'

Cover

design

**

" **

"

Wrestling Match Nobody Works but Uncle

Diver at

"

Work

**

made from

illustration

154 160 168 172

178

184 192

"

A

A

146

opp. p. 150

Oregon^ Outward

a Battleship

**

196 202

208

214 220 226 232

242

furnished by courtesy of

^''Scientific American.'''

BOOK

I

CHAPTER THE

I

—

BUILDING AND COMMISSIONING HOW OFFICERS OF THE SHIP OFFICERS ARE MADE

NAVY

—

THE NAVY pride and interest are taken in the Navy, particularly of late, as the results of

GREATJapanese and Russian War have the

plainly

demonstrated that a strong and efficient Navy is Folks at the most important factor in war time.

home

read about the achievements of a certain ship, many people do not realize

while at the same time

of warships Uncle Sam owns. gaze at the photograph of a battle-

what a grand array

A person

may

ship or cruiser or he may see one lying at anchor. When it comes to defining the difference between their fighting qualities, etc., the average landsman would be at sea. It requires personal experience and study to enable one to comment truthfully upon

the service.

A warship

is

a floating diplomat.

Moving about

The American

2

Battleship in Q)mniission

command,

singly or in fleets, they

in

many

ways,

Our respect for the country which they represent. interests in foreign ports are constantly on the inand now crease, as the Export Statistics will show ;

Sam

the legal guardian of the PhilipPorto Rico, Hawaii, and the Panama Cuba, pines, efficient Navy is needed to proa and Canal, large that Uncle

tect

American

A

large

is

interests.

Navy

alone does not signify a strong

Navy. Should the personnel be lacking in training, skill, and discipline, the ships would be of very In time of action they would be an little value. to the easy prey enemy whose ships and men have a superior training. Millions of dollars are spent annually to bring the fighting qualities of both ship and men up to the

highest standard, and every dollar of this well invested.

The

art of

war

is

now

money

is

carried out on a scientific

where superior tact, skill, training, and discihave a decided advantage. pline Washington, D. C, is the official headquarters of the United States Navy. There all movements basis,

of

ships,

stores,

officers,

enlisted

directed, with the assistance of the

and captains who are fleets, squadrons, and

The

duties of the

in

command

are

men,

etc.,

many

admirals

of the different

divisions.

Navy Department

are divided

The Navy among

3

different bureaus, such as Navigation,

struction

and Repair,

Con-

Equipment, Steam Engi-

The

duties aboard ship and at the different departments are thus divided in order to neering, etc.

simplify matters in each department. All ships of the Navy must be placed out of com-

mission regularly at the different navy-yards mainWhen a ship is placed out tained by the Navy. is thoroughly overhauled and the with latest appliances. Ships are also equipped built at the navy yards by the Government. The

of commission she

Connecticut^

one of them.

a sixteen-thousand-ton battleship, is This ship was built at the Brooklyn

navy-yard. Several of our warships have seen ten years' service before being placed out of commission. When a ship is recommissioned she is then better equipped than when she was new, for the reason that she is modern and equipped with improvements which

have come into use only recently. The entire Navy is conducted on the same prinThe Navy Department prints a book which ciple. contains the rules and regulations governing the

U. S. Navy. From the color of its binding this book is known as the ** Blue Book." Every little detail of the service

From time

is

contained within

to time, as the service

changes are made

in

its

may

pages.

require,

the rules and regulations.

4

The American Many people

Battleship in

Gnnmission

are inclined to think that naval

offi-

cers have one continuous round of pleasure, with nothing to do but travel around the world at the

expense of the Government. Such an erroneous impression could be entertained only by one unacAll naval officers have quainted with the service. arduous tasks to perform before ships are intrusted After passing through six years to their command. of continuous studies,

midshipmen are then com-

missioned ensigns, this being the lowest rank of a commissioned officer. Line officers are the regular

commissioned

officers of

the

Navy who have gone

through the prescribed course at the Naval Academy. This also includes warrant officers who have Officers are passed the examination for ensign. gradually promoted, each in his turn, a special ex-

amination being taken for each grade. line officer must have been in charge of every department of the ship, such as Signal, Navigation,

A

Ordnance, and Executive, before he can get of a large ship.

have seen

Many

command

admirals in foreign Navies

far less service

than our commanders.

In regard to the benefits that an enlisted man derives from service, there are a great many. bluejacket is well taken care of, and, best of all, he

A

is

well paid.

in the

Navy

vious time.

The

opportunities for advancement

are far greater to-day than at

any pre-

The Navy

5

Recently the rates of several different new petty have been created, and more will be added

officers

from time to time. These new rates, with the old ones, have promoted a great many of the crew to The initial pay of a the rank of petty officers. petty officer varies from thirty to seventy dollars a This, however, does not include his extra as gun-pointer, continuous service benesuch pay,

month.

fits,

etc.

A large are

number

of

new

battleships and cruisers

being rapidly completed and commissioned.

The majority

of these ships carry a

complement

over eight hundred men, and there are a great

of

many

When a member of openings for advancement. the crew is rated a petty officer more work is not expected of him because his pay has been increased.

He is rated a petty officer for the fact that he has acquired sufficient knowledge to enable him to command a more responsible position. As a general rule, the higher less

an enlisted

manual labor he

petty

officer,

however,

is is

man advances

the

A

required to perform. clothed with considerable

authority, and many responsible duties are assigned Naval life is very congenial to the enlisted him. man, and he gains a vast fund of knowledge and

Most important of all, experience in his travels. however, he is well disciplined. Now and then a young man may enlist who turns

6

The American

Commission

Battleship in

out to be a very undesirable recruit he may even cause discontent among the other members of the ;

Some

crew.

of these write

condemning the

service.

home

to their parents In some instances their

home

papers may publish the contents of the letters, although the authors might have been entirely to

blame

in

the matter.

regular man-o'-war men soon grow tired of He is then hearing a recruit continually growling.

The

told to **run

young men

away

if

you don't

like

it."

Some

join the service with false ideas of life Some expect to be given a private room

on a ship. and even a servant to wait upon them. Cases of this kind are rare, however, as most of the recruits soon adapt themselves to the routine of the service. When' a recruit persists in being obstinate he will either desert or be dishonorably discharged from

Under no circumstances does Uncle

the service.

Sam

wish to retain

men

in the service

of this char-

acter.

Some men

enlist

in the

Navy without

the con-

sent of their parents, though the recruiting officers use every effort to prevent such occurrences. This

due usually to objection on the part of the parIt seems that the names of warships, big guns, etc., give some people the most peculiar is

ents.

notions about the service. of

women.

The

This

is

greatest caution

particularly true exercised at all

is

5

^

The Navy times, and with the

7

safety devices in use accidents are of rare occurrence.

When an upon

as

Were

it

many

accident occurs in the

Navy

something awful by the

**

it is

looked

shore folks."

to be taken into consideration that there

are over three

hundred ships on the Navy

register,

the majority of them being in commission, it would be plainly seen that Navy life is no more dangerous

than other vocations ashore.

The majority of the accidents in the Navy have occurred under unavoidable circumstances, and at the same time a great lesson The experience thus gained

is

learned from them.

utilized to prevent The warships in future. the such occurrences any that are in commission hold regular target practice, speed trials, etc., each year, all of which involves

a certain amount of

is

risk.

There are over one hundred different rates aboard Members of the crew are constantly

a battleship.

being transferred, discharged,

etc.,

their

first

thus causing enlistment a

rapid promotion. During majority of the enlisted men are rated petty offiNot one, but many of the author's shipmates cers.

aboard the Oregon

many

of

them

are

will verify this statement, for

now petty

officers

on their

first

enlistment.

When

the

Oregon

won

the

Gunnery Trophy

niany of the gun-pointers were on their

first enlist-

8

The American

Battleship in

A

large number of salt water until enlisting.

ment.

0)mmission

them had never seen

Many

naval officers can

look back at the day they enlisted in the service with the lowest ratings on the paymaster's books.

The Navy become a

regulations allow a warrant officer to regular commissioned officer of the line,

provided he pass a successful examination. This examination is very severe, and it takes a

that

large

is,

amount

of practical

enable one to pass

it.

and theoretical study to Several warrant

officers

have already passed the examination, and are now Upon passing sucregular commissioned officers. made are They are then ensign. cessfully, they promoted gradually to the higher ranks. There is absolutely nothing to prevent an ambitious enlisted

man from becoming

a captain or admiral.

BUILDING AND COMMISSIONING of a battleship is an exceptionally arduous task, as there are so many difficulties to be overcome.

Drawing up the plans

The

first

thing to be considered

ment, which the vessel.

is the displaceof to the weight of course, equal, When this has been determined, all is

plans and specifications are made out accordingly, as the armor, armament, speed, steaming radius, fuel

and water supply, living quarters, and in fact everydetail of the ship must be considered and provided for

Building and Commissioning

9

The weights and spaces of all parts of the ship must be well equalized in proportion so that the ship will

not

tended.

exceed the displacement originally

From

in-

year to year battleships are con-

stantly being increased in size, speed, armor, and armament. It requires a great deal of experience,

and money to acquire these valuable points Speed alone is a very important advantage. factor in time of battle. Take, for instance, two in battle. One fleet has an average fleets opposing displacement of fourteen thousand tons and a speed

skill,

of

of sixteen knots.

The

other

fleet

has the same

The displacement, but a speed of eighteen knots. ship with a high rate of speed has a decided advantage over one of a low rate. The ship with a high rate of speed can keep the enemy at a distance and give or take battle at will, because it can about to gain an advantageous position.

maneuver

To

increase the speed of a battleship an extra additional horse-power is required. This necessitates an increase of the powers of the boilers

knot,

and engines,

also the fuel and water supply. By all these increases other parts of the ship must be decreased, such as the armor, caliber of certain guns, etc. As soon as Congress has appropriated the money

to build the vessel, the final plans are drawn up, and the building of the ship is then let out by contract to the lowest bidder.

lo

The American

Battleship in

Commission

Everything used in the construction of the ship must be of home manufacture, and the successful bidder agrees to build the ship strictly according The specifications, of course, contain to contract. all details

The etc.,

regarding the construction of the ship. and quality of all frames, plates, rivets,

size

are

carefully

specified.

The

builders

are

placed under heavy bonds, there being a heavy penalty imposed for any breach of contract on the Previously the Government paid a bonus for each knot or part thereof in excess of the speed specified in the contract, but the orpart of the builders.

der has

now been

rescinded.

Piece by piece the huge fighting machine is assembled. Several thousand workmen are set to

work on the ship itself or in the workshops near by. Every labor-saving device that can be utilized is taken advantage of by the builders. Only a .

all riveting, drilling, etc. on the was Now most of it is hand. ship performed by done by automatic tools of different kinds. Riveters, chippers, etc., do most of their work with pneumatic tools which are operated by compressed Most of these tools are very light, so that air. they may be used in any part of the ship. An air-

short while back

hose connects

all

,

these tools with the compressed-

which around the ship.

air-pipe system

is

set

up temporarily

in

and

Building and GDmmissioning

ii

very small chance for any crooked work because the plans and the state precisely quantity and qualspecifications

There

is

in the building of the ship,

ity of all materials used. officers are detailed

In addition to this, naval

as inspectors at the different

ship-building plants where the warships are under construction.

When many

the ship

is

ready for launching, a great

preparations are necessary.

The launching

of a ship is a very pompous affair, and thousands of spectators gather around to witness the event.

As

a rule,

all

of our battleships are

named

after

States.

When

is

the day for launching arrives, a delegation on hand to represent the State after which the

named, and some fair daughter of the State has the honor of christening her. As the

vessel

is

ship starts to move, the sponsor dashes the bottle ** I christen against the ship's bow and exclaims:

thee

A

," at

ship

thing

is

is

the same time giving the name.

launched at high

ready

all

blocking

is

and when everyreleased and she starts tide,

move. It is indeed a grand sight to see that huge hulk of steel rushing onward to the water which is to be her home. She strikes the water with a splash amid a din of cheers and whistles. When the armored cruiser Washingtojt was launched a new wrinkle was introduced. This ship to

1

2

The American

was

Battleship in

GDmmission

built in a building with a glass roof, thus en-

work in inclement weather. All blockwas launched automatically. ship and the released was simultaneously, ship was ing given a start with hydraulic rams which were located at the head of the launching-ways. abling the builders to

The

When a mere

a ship

shell,

is

launched she generally represents

though

in

some

cases the builders

may

As soon partly equip the ship before launching. to tow her stand to the as she is launched, tugs by berth, where the ship is finished and made ready for the

The builders hold their own prelimwhen the ship is put through a se-

trial trip.

inary trial trip, of severe tests.

After

ries

defects have been

all

"

** up to the pink of condition the Navy Department is notified that she

remedied and the ship is

ready for the

A

official trial trip.

certain course

tervals

fitted

is

laid

out and marked at

by the Government stake-boats.

naval officers are detailed on the after

Uncle Sam's

everything

in

interests.

trial

in-

Several

board to look

The builders have men are at the

readiness, selected

engines and in the fire-rooms, and in fact everything is done to increase the power and speed of the ship.

Everyone aboard is held in great suspense as the ship is throbbing and trembling from stem to stern as she rushes through the water like an animated

.1^:;^' \:)m'

;

'r8V m^^

^'

CO

XI

mmission

I

WELL POSTED Recruiting Officer as a bandsman, hey? Italian Musician:

t

So you would

:

like to enlist j }

Yes,

Recruiting Officer

sir,

Who

:

me

is

like.

j

the greatest

man

in j

America?

I

Musician

Italian

Georgie Recruiting Officer: You'll do. :

Wash

der

- \

i

OUT OF COMMISSION

|

Stormy: Say, Mickey, what must a man be to rate a military funeral?

Mickey Stormy

\

You got me. I don't know. He must be dead.

:

:

i

1

CANNIBALS Little

:

like

1

Child (who has been visiting a warship

with its ma at meal-time) O mamma Mamma: What is it, dear? Little Child

we do

:

Ain't

it

j

]

!

]

j

funny, the sailors eat just

1

! ,)

EXTRA STARS |

Recruit (to paymaster of flag-ship) there fifteen buttons on

Paymaster: first flag

Why,

my

don't

contained thirteen

:

Why

are

i

America's

j

trousers?

you know? stars.

\

i

Man-o'-war Recruit:

Where does

Yams

223

the extra two

come

in at?

Paymaster: Oh, they represent the stars Admiral's flag.

in

the

CANTEENS RESTORED Jack: Say, Bill, what do you think? There's a doctor in Germany who got up a pill that will turn a glass of water into beer. Bill (greatly excited):

What's

his address?

A DEEP DRAUGHT Captain (joking Naval Constructor) draw twice as much water as you do.

Naval Constructor:

If I

Why,

:

I

put you in dry-dock you

won't draw any.

ON DUTY Foreign Monarch (admiring thirteen-inch guns) How do those big guns work, Admiral? Admiral: I could show you better when they :

are in action.

STORMS AHEAD Mike timer

"

(to

tattooed

Jimmy, who

and intends to get married)

:

is

**

a

Going

Jimmy? Jimmy Sure, Mike, on the matrimony

short-

to ship

over,

:

sea.

224

The American

Battleship in GDmmissicMi

RELIGIOUS Chaplain

Your

:

face

is

not familiar at church,

my good man. Unreformed Sailor:

I practice my religion every before breakfast. morning Chaplain I do not understand your meaning. Unreformed Sailor It's me that works the holy:

:

stone on deck.

A LEG BAROMETER Naval Doctor: You should not be so anxious rheumatism is improving

Your for a discharge. of late. wonderfully Rheumatic Patient billet

Fve been

:

a weather-bureau

in

offered a

office, sir,

keep me my job. Naval Doctor: Very well,

and

good

me

leg

will help to

I'll

recommend you

for a discharge.

LIQUID REFRESHMENTS Old Lady (pointing to Jack's canteen) you carry in that thing? Jack

:

We

Old Lady:

:

What do

carry water in the canteen, ma'am. Well, I do declare! That must be

the canteen question

I

hear so

much

about.

A MONEY-MAKER Hickey

:

Next

over as a baker.

hitch,

Windy, I'm going

to ship

Man-o^-war Yarns Windy: You are money than a baker. Hickey

:

Come

off.

You draw more

foolish.

A

225

baker makes more dough.

POOR SOUP Officer (sampling contents of pot) you issue such soup as that to the crew? :

How

dare

Ship's Cook (who was about to dump contents This is not soup, sir. of pot into the ash-chute) It is the dish-water. :

AIRY SAILORS Submarine Jack

:

Say, Willie, Uncle Sam's going

to put submarine and torpedo-boat sailors on that new air-ship that's about to be commissioned.

Torpedo-boat Willie I knew that a month ago. I'm studying up for a good billet on her. Submarine Jack What you going to be a bal:

—

:

last-shifter?

Torpedo-boat Willie up to be a sky-pilot.

:

Why,

I'm studying

no.

LIGHTNING CALCULATOR

What weight proDivision Officer (to rookie) fire? does a jectile six-pounder gun :

Rookie (who pounds, sir.

is

Division Officer:

in

doubt):

You

I

believe

are wrong.

eleven

What's the

226

The American

difference

G)mmission

Battleship in

between a pound of feathers and a pound

of lead?

Rookie (who tumbles) a six-pound

:

A

six-pounder gun

fires

shell.

GOOD-MORNING Japan the word **ohio" (spelled ohayo) means ** good-morning." So when the crew of a warship are ashore on liberty they are greeted with *' many polite bows and ohios." In

On

board the battleship

Wisconsin

were two

chums who were born and brought up together the State of Ohio.

When

in

the ship entered the

harbor of Yokohama, both of the young men were very anxious to go ashore and see the country of

which they had heard so much. Shore-leave was granted the young men, and they started ashore.

and saw

They

traveled

all

over the city,

they could of beautiful Japan. The next morning they arose to make preparaOn all sides they were tions to return to the ship. all

'' After hearohios." greeted by polite bows and thousandth the for about time. Bill ing the word

turned around to Jim and said,

they knew

that

**

I

we were from Ohio."

wonder how

Man-o'-war Yarns

A certain

227

A PERPETUAL REWARD marine officer, when on shore duty

in

charge of a body of marines, had quite an ingenious Office hours system for studying human nature. held about ten o'clock every morning; all marines on the report for offences committed are brought before the commanding officer to have their

are

cases looked into and punishments administered. All offences committed are mostly of a petty na-

and when the offenders are brought before commanding officer, they put up the most ingenious defences ever known. The punishment is generally fatigue duty, which means that the offender must perform extra work about the barracks while the rest of the marines ture,

the

are at leisure.

work

is

Many

old-time marines claim that

a lost art with them, so extra duty

is

not

welcomed.

The

thing this commanding officer did upon entering his office of a morning was to take out his pocket-book and take out a nice-looking five-dollar first

straighten out edge of his desk.

bill,

that the

V

brought

in

all

One

the kinks, and lay it on the half hung over the table, so

could be plainly seen, and a heavy paThe per-weight was also used to anchor it down. court is then opened up, and the offenders are

and

tried,

one at a time.

The American

228

As

each offender

Battleship in is

Commission

brought before the com-

officer, he points to the five-dollar bill so conspicuously on the desk, and says to hanging the offender, **You see that five-dollar bill on my

manding

desk? story

I

Well, that's for the man never heard before."

who can

tell

me

a

had spent a sleepless night new yarn. Still the bill resome scheming up mained a permanent fixture on the officer's desk. When the commanding officer was told a story which he had never heard before, he would burst

Many

a

marine

'*

into laughter and exclaim, Why, my good that I heard low, story twenty-five years ago."

the story seemed to be

fel-

If

original, the offender would

generally escape punishment. Bill Johnson, the official hot-air merchant of the

camp, had often boasted to his chums how he would butt in and cop the V. Shortly afterward, one Bill became tangled up with some tanglepay-day. foot, and was locked up in the guard-house for safekeeping. The next morning Bill, with a big head, was .brought before the commanding officer at the reg-

After being introduced to the V and charged with being top-heavy. Bill, who was quite a sea-lawyer, put up the following defence

ular time.

:

off

We

got paid yesterday, sir, and when I came guard last night I started down town to see the

**

Man-o'-war

Yams

229

moonlight ascension of Professor Aguadentes* airWhen It seems my watch was wrong, sir. ship. the air-ship business was all over I arrived. ** Then I decided to return home. I started to

do so, but all of a sudden I was knocked down. I I looked upward to see what had struck me. looked around, and there was the air-ship passing It seems that some one in the airover my head. was distributing bags of sand on the heads of ship pedestrians in order to lighten the weight of the Unfortunately it was my destiny to be air-ship. hit

with two of them.

remembered no more until morning and found myself locked

out of commission, as I

woke up

up

in

this

The second one put me

I

the guard-house."

The commanding

officer,

who had

never before

heard such a plausible story, gave a few outbursts of laughter,

and then exclaimed,

'*

Why, my good

fellow, I heard that ril let

story twenty-five years ago go this time, but don't do it again!"

!

you was in great distress, as he thought he had a mortgage on the V-spot. Suddenly he was seized with an idea. Looking straight into the eyes of the commanding officer, he exclaimed, ''Air-ships were not in existence twenty-five years ago." Bill is now the hero of the camp he won the Bill

—

prize.

The American

230

Battleship in

Commission

INGENUITY

The Navy

collier

Brutus was manned with a

The Brutus^ being naval crew for a long period. a collier, did not carry a steam-launch. Often the ship lay far off from shore, so when anyone went ashore there was a hard pull ahead for the smallboat's crew.

The members

of the engineer's

department con-

the ship's dingey into a steamboard the Brutus was an old White-

trived to convert

launch.

On

head torpedo-engine

so with the help of a large sheet of steel, piping, etc., a serviceable boiler was The manufactured,' also a home-made propeller.

dingey was

fitted

when completed,

A

dingey

is

;

up to receive the machinery, and

took place. the smallest boat carried aboard the

trial trip

ship, so the launch's capacity

was somewhat

limited.

At the trial trip the launch could do five knots under forced draught. Four knots was the maxi-

mum

speed under normal conditions. The launch proved a success, since she saved the

crew much manual labor. boat was a ship's company captain,

thing

A all

The coxswain all

by himself

:

of the

he was

engineer, fireman, deck force, and every-

else.

torpedo-engine runs in only one direction, so

eccentrics, valves,

missing.

When

reversing-levers,

etc.,

were

the coxswain, etc., etc., wished

Man-o'-war to get under

Yams

•

way steam was turned on the

231 engine,

and the coxswain then leaned over the stern and gave the propeller a turn to start the engine in motion. Upon making a landing great seamanship was displayed, because the engine had to be stopped at the proper distance from the landing; otherwise small handthe engine could not be reversed.

A

pump was used to supply the boiler with feed-water. STORMY WEATHER ON THE GULF Rusty Ryan had served Uncle Sam twenty-odd At last he decided to ship over on the years. matrimonial sea. Rusty had often told his shipmates that he would get hitched up when his enlistment expired. Being more familiar with seagoing knots than those matrimonial, Rusty often sought advice from his mates as to how to make All hands advised him to butt love to a **gal." right in to the gal he liked best and tell her all

about

it.

Rusty put up at a comfortable boarding-house which was managed by an old lady who had a daughter. As soon as Rusty was introduced to the daughter he immediately decided to drop anchor. After making what he thought was love to the daughter

Upon

being paid

for several weeks,

no

longer.

off,

Rusty could stand the suspense

232

The American

Battleship in

Qjmmission

One evening, as Maggie was playing the piano in the parlor, Rusty waltzed up to her and popped the question.

Maggie became very indignant, as she was heard ** to reply Go away, you lobster I have a parrot that swears, a monkey who chews tobacco, a cat :

!

that scratches, and

don't intend to have an old

I

me." sea-dog growling Rusty upped anchor and headed at

a sadder but a wiser

for the guardo,

salt.

A DRY SHIP '

Characters

Admiral Twostars, Captain Tightgloves, Cabin Steward, Cabin Boy. the Admiral

coming to As there is no champagne in visit me to-day. stock [he never did have any], I've got up this When I invite the Admiral into the little scheme. cabin Til ring the bell and order a nice quart of Mumm's put on ice. You will take the order and ** return in a couple of minutes and reply Captain, I'm very sorry to report that we are all out of chamIn There's some nice Pabst beer left." pagne. Captain:

Steward,

is

:

reply

I will call

you down (make

believe) for being

negligent, etc.

Admiral (who

just arrived aboard)

:

How

do you

Man-o^-war Yarns

233

Your ship is looking spick and span. It must be It's awfully warm to-day, isn't it? cooler down in your cabin. do, Captain.

Captain (brings the Admiral into the cabin) It's the hottest day I have ever experienced on this station. Admiral, Why, even the pitch on the :

deck

is

[Captain rings bell and steward

melting.

Mumm's

enters.] Steward, put a nice quart bottle of

on

ice right

away.

The Admiral's

Steward (returning a couple

of

stay

is

limited.

minutes

later)

:

Captain, I'm very sorry to report that we are just I ordered some yesterday, sir, out of champagne.

and

it

has not come aboard yet.

There's some

nice Pabst beer on ice.

Captain (making a grand stand) No more champagne left? What became of the case I bought :

two weeks ago?

[Never bought a bottle in his I'm to disrate you for incompetency. life.] going Here I have a distinguished guest for company,

and you make such a report as

Get out of

that.

here and send the cabin boy in. Admiral (who doesn't tumble): Oh,

would

that's all

soon have a glass right. Captain. of beer. Mistakes will happen, you know. That reminds me of a little story. When my dad used to go fishing he always took along a little jug that was I

marked I

**

Bait."

just as

One day when dad went

played hookey and went fishing.

I

to

town

took dad's

234

The American

Commission

Battleship in

When I went to bait jug along with me. I found that the jug contained hard cider.

my hook

Captain (boy enters as Captain is laughing at joke): Boy, bring in a couple of bottles of beer right away.

(As Admiral leaves the ship, sighs and murmurs) in, anyway.

:

I'm three dollars

FRENZIED FINANCE have stated in the article entitled ** Naval " Notes of this book, that when a sailor begins to imagine that he is getting tired of the sea he begins to talk about starting a chicken ranch or a farm. I myself have had a little personal experience in that line, and I shall proceed to relate it. I

I

After being shipwrecked on the cruiser Yosemite was detained ashore at Agana, the capital of

Guam, there

One of the bluejackets piece of land located on a overlooked the town. As this

for shore duty.

owned a small

which bluejacket was going home soon, he sold the land I purchased the land to me at a nominal sum. small

hill

with the intention of starting a chicken ranch. This I did to my sorrow. I

put the chicken ranch in commission with a

complement

of sixty chickens,

misfortunes then rick

must have

and

my troubles

and

commenced in earnest. St. PatGuam, for there were no

visited

Man-o'-war

Yams

235

There are some lizards, however, about three feet long and capable of swallowing a two-months-old chicken without the least inconvesnakes there.

nience.

The

the habit of visiting

lizards acquired

my

hen-house regularly and sucking every Ggg they As I was unable to procure glass eggs, could find. I had to put up with the lizards.

The hens would become

greatly frightened at the appearance of these lizards, and ere long the hens commenced to lay in the brush, which made matters just as bad.

No

the rats would eat

it.

brush of

sooner was an egg laid than When the hens went to the

thought that they had quit laying. One shipmates told me that meat was a great egg

I

my

producer, and chickens.

I

therefore changed the diet of the

The paymaster's store-rooms were near my and whenever a

demned straight,

even

I

place,

tinned meats were con-

to get some of it to feed to my chickens were fed canned ** Willie"

managed

The

fowls.

lot of

and the results were magical.

laid while

they roosted

The hens

in the trees at night.

the early bird got the worm. Should I be on I hand before the lizards or rats, would then get Still

my

share of the eggs.

good out

to last, as

among my

This state of

some kind flock

affairs

was too

of chicken disease broke

and many died.

Those that

236

The American

Batdeship in GDmmission

survived quit laying, so I sold the chickens for what I could get, and later on when I came home I re-enlisted

aboard the Oregon. after the failure of the chicken

About two years

ranch Guam was visited by a terrific earthquake, which did considerable damage to the island. Many claim that the island rose six inches out of the water as the result of the earthquake.

of

Many

my

shipmates used to make fun of the

I owned in Guam by saying that they would not give seven dollars for the whole island. I, in demonstrate to them how return, would my land

land

had gone up (by inches) during

my

absence.

FULL RATIONS

Two wages,

bluejackets were arguing one day over the etc., paid for common help in a certain

As the argument became very bitter, they State. decided to have a third party settle it. Upon being asked for his opinion, the third party expressed himself as follows: ** When we lay at the Brooklyn navy-yard on the old Lancaster a draft of rookies came aboard, and among them were two ^

brothers

who came from

the

State

of

.

Both of these brothers were as green as grass. I became acquainted with one of them, and he told me how they came to enlist. He said that he and his brother had worked five years for Later on

Man-o*-war

.

received a cent of money.

they asked for two dollars

They were

circus.

237

They had never So one Fourth of July in order to go to town

a farmer in the State of

and see the

Yams

refused the money,

so they left and joined the Navy. ** When they first came to the ship they used to call the fresh bread 'white cake,' as that was

what

it

was

They used

called

to

down *

get

in

the State of

white cake

'

twice a

.

year—

Christmas and Fourth of July."

AH CHOY

Ah

Choy, mess attendant first-class, had often heard how easy it was to fake the sick-list, and, So one day therefore, be excused from all work.

Ah Choy

decided to take a

trial shot.

8:30 next morning Ah Choy rePromptly ** Me cachee the to doctor, and exclaimed: ported lomeytism in lef* legee all samee hurtee." The patient was put on the sick-list so as"^ to at

;

enable the doctor to get the run of the case. Ah in all his was as three meals a glory, square Choy

day with nothing to do just suited him. So he decided to stay on the sick-list until his enlistment expired.

After enjoying the rest cure for about a week at Uncle Sam's expense, the doctor began to get suspicious, so a close

watch was kept on

Ah

Choy.

238

The American

One day Ah Choy the wrong leg.

Ah

Choy

GDmmission

Battleship in

The

forgot himself and limped on next morning the doctor had

out

on the operating-table and

laid

broke out his amputating instruments. sighting the highly polished knives and

Upon saws

Ah Choy

turned deathly pale, because he

felt

sure that they were going to amputate his leg. He could stand the suspense no longer, so he jumped

the Qperating-table and rushed out on deck cry*' You no can cuttee legee." Ah Choy is now ing, off

a cured case.

A rookie's letter U.

Deer Ma an Pa I

Well,

Sansalito, Oct.

S. S.

do be a

real sailur at las'.

at ther reckrutin' orfice looked

me

me

Ther doctur

over right pert

wuz

sint

frum Kalamazoo to

this

Thoze suspendurs that Aunt Mirandy

sint

an* said

I

wuz

cut out to be a flatfoot.

hear with a gang of ship.

9, 1906.

:

fellers

I

be of no ust as we uns do not be alowed to ust

them az we ust buttuns insted. I askt a feller hear what be ther best fur to study up fur, an Admirul or Kaptin. He saz that a wize un like me oughter lurn to be kaptin of ther poop deck. This boat be four storys hi and ther flors are not Gee, ma, its hard wurk scrubin' thoz painted. flors

with san' and kanvas.

I

was mutch

scart las'

Yams

Man-o'-war night as

when

out.

A

did.

Whin

chastin'

cook saz

I

239

wint to git in mi hammuck I felled a hammuck laddur which I

feller sazs get

me

wint to sleap I dremt Pa's mule wuz Ther an* I felled out and waked up. I

if I'll

help peal spuds he'll give

me sum

pie checks.

nearly broked mi kneck yisterday as I wuz gorn up stairs I slipt an* I dont ketch ther banster in I wuz out time so I hit ther flor with a whing. I

boat ther other day an* I dint get seasick one whit. Oh Ma, tell me ther best way to git

in a real

!

durt frum dirty klothes without washin* 'em. Mine When I gits to sea gits durty owful eazy.

Fm

gorn to shoot them big guns you herd tell about. Gee whilikins youz outher see one of 'em ripsnorthey be as big as Hesry Hakins win'mill. We dont hav eny lamp lits hear like at home, all lits I tried to blow one out, but hear turn on and orf. ters

a feller saz turn

it

out which

I

did.

Dont

tell

eny

one, I'm gorn to be kaptin of ther poop deck, az I wanter cum home and surprize 'em. I'll

klose fur this time,

Reckuning you

all

ther same.

Your Lovin'

sun,

Hiram.

be

240

The American LOST

When

—

^A

Commission

Battleship in

WARD-ROOM CAKE

the armored cruiser

New

certain cruise the ward-room cook

York was on a

made

a delicious

The ship had then been at sea several days, cake. so a cake was quite a treat. As the cook was somewhat late in making the cake, the steward set it to cool in the air-port of the pantry. At the time one of the ship's electricians happened to be repairing a fan in the pantry. The instant he set his eyes on the cake, his stomach Repairing the fan got the best of his conscience.

went up on his hunted who was and an A. B. chum, deck, up (seaman), and as agile as a cat, especially when it as quickly as possible, the electrician

came to climbing ropes, etc. A conspiracy was soon formed, with the innocent cake as the "key" to the plot. As the ward-room officers do not dine until about 7 P.M., it was The two conspiratherefore quite dark on deck. tors got a short line,

and headed

for that part of

the ship which was located directly over the pantry air-port where the cake was cooling.

A bow-line was

soon rigged, and the A. B. was

lowered over the ship's side to the air-port. As luck would have it, the pantry force was busy with courses of the evening meal, so it took only the fraction of a minute to capture the cake.

the

first

Man-o^-war Yarns

241

Should that line have slipped or broken, the cry of ** **man overboard would soon have been echoed from one end of the deck to the other. But a ward-room cake is not to be got every day by old Jack, so the thought of any danger was not considered as long as the raid turned out a success. The A. B. took cake, pan, and all up forward

Then both

conspirators agreed to meet was called and eat the cake. when the mid-watch When the steward went to get the cake for the ward-room dessert it was not to be found. As the steward was sure that no one entered the pantry, he at once decided that the cake had rolled overAll the steward got for his pains was a board. rebuke from the ward-room for being careless in

and hid

it.

not securing the cake for sea.

TWO SEA-DOGS GROWLING Time: Summer, 1903. Place : On board the U.

S. S. Oregon, at

anchor

Cheefoo, China. Characters: William Brown, alias Stormy, on account of being quite windy. off

James Murphy,

There are many

alias Spud.

the original.

Spuds, but this is Enlistment Record : James Murphy, boatswain's mate, first-class age forty-five standard height vocation previous to joining Navy, policeman. Full;

;

;

The American

242

Battleship in

G>mmission

rigged ship, tattooed on breast, deep voice, also has Was born in Shamrockdecided list to starboard.

twenty years' honorable service disposition cheerful; a competent man, well liked by officers ville

;

;

and crew; was nicknamed Spud on general princiSpud is the boatswain's mate of the first ples. division of the Oregon, and has just lately shipped over.

William Brown, gunner's mate age thirty-five Has vocation previous to joining Navy, gas-man. ;

;

several pimples under both arm-pits; they are Seventeen years' honoreither moles or barnacles.

able service

placement,

;

height, five feet five inches large disWas born in Misalso large beam. ;

Stormy has been Disposition cheerful. shipmate with Spud on three different occasions.

souri.

Stormy has ignorant

just arrived aboard the Oregon and is fact that Spud is also aboard.

of the

After stowing away his luggage he

strolls

about the

As he steps out on ship meeting old shipmates. runs into he the forecastle Spud, who is sitting on a chest filling his Woodstock pipe with Stormy : Hello, Spud, old boy

Navy

plug.

[They shake

!

hands.] I thought you said you wasn't going to I knew the meal pennant would ship over again? You did right by coming back, back. fetch you as there are pretty hard times ashore.

Spud: Well,

I'll

be torpedoed!

Where

did

you

• «

c

«

c

Man-o'-war Yarns

243

come from?

I did intend to stay out last time, for farm and run it three months. a chicken bought The chickens wouldn't lay, so I sold the whole I

No more farming for sheebang and shipped over. it take an act of I would me. Stormy. thought Congress to take the political job away from you you had on the Philly, Stormy: Haw, haw, haw! You old fogie, you must have looked pretty piping all the chickens to I lost my job when the Philly went out muster.

that

so they sent me out here on the Solace, caught the old Bulldog. You remember the Jimmy Legs that used to be with us on the of commission,

and

I

Panama? Well, he jumped, and they in 'Frisco and gave him six months. him caught Spud : I heard about Jimmy Legs, but I thought

Philly at

he only got busted. ular home, and we

Say, Stormy, the ship's a reglive like fighting-cocks, as the

commissary steward is certainly a peach. Who do you think is our executive officer? It's Mr. Carrol that used to be with us on the old Mickey in eighty-nine.

met Mr. Carrol at the gangway as came aboard, and shook hands with him. He remembers me well, as he once caught me fetching a dog off. They are going to make another dozen Stormy

:

I

I

warrant gunners, and I'm going up for think I'll make it. Spud?

it.

Do you

244

The American

Battleship in

Commission

make

you will learn all about spontaneous combustion and all that rigermoro stuff. You got a great knob on you and have had a good learning, and I hope you make it. Spud: Sure, Mike,

you'll

it

if

I'm going out with a pay-day this time, as I'm I instowing it away on edges in the ship's bank. tend to get hitched up when I get back, as I've got a dandy dame on the string.

Hee-haw, hee-haw, is the gal's name Maud? You would certainly look sea-going, going down the line with Missus Spud on your port beam. Come out of it, man. You got the love-lit in the wrong blinker. Soon as she gets your dough she would cut the tow-line and you would then head Stormy

for fail

:

Better look out. guardo. with the chicken farm. did you

the as

You

may

no use guying me, Stormy I haven't forgot the time you got tangled up with She mooched your that mermaid in Oakland. whole pay-day, and you didn't see the inside of a So you had better pipe down. church, either. We had better get ready mess There goes gear. Spud: They

ain't

;

for dinner.

p.S.

—Both

make

their exit to their respective

messes. i

Man-o'-war

Yams

245

A FEW SALTY RIDDLES In Manila Bay, May, not a question?

Do we

'98,

what was the question

did it?

What

parts of the ship are farmish? Jackasses, hawsers, and crow's-nest.

Why

no labor strikes or walking

are there

gates in the

-dele-

Navy?

have to belong to the same Union before Uncle Sam will ship them.

Because

Why

all

do battleships make better watch-dogs than

cruisers?

They bark louder and

Why

is

thicker.

are women-folks so anxious to get a sailor-

cap ribbon? Because a ship

What

their skin

is

called

**

she.'*

part of Jack's uniform reminds

Admiral? His blue

collar

:

it

you

has two stars.

What well-known Nation Why, Carrie.

has no

Navy?

of an

246

The American

Battleship in

Commission

Where is the dryest place aboard ship? The brig: there are bars all around, but not a drink.

What would make

the best wife for an old sea-

dog?

A

mermaid

:

she couldn't kick.

Who

Van Winkle

could outsleep Rip given the opportunity? marine.

if

only

A

What

did the Oregon

maKe

that famous trip for

in '98?

To

get on the other side.

When

does a bluejacket think number thirteen

unlucky?

When

there are thirteen

men

at his table

and

only twelve pieces of pie.

Why

is

It takes

a submarine mine like a salted mine?

water to

float

them both.

What Her

parts of a battleship are like the masts they are both military.

Why

army?

:

is

it

mermaids do not believe

Claus?

Because they do not wear stockings.

in

Santa

Man-o*-war

Why

bluffing in

247

like a

man caught

a big jack-pot?

They both have

What

man

a very seasick

is

Yams

to

come

up.

the difference between a good ship and

is

a man's red nose? First-class

goods are used to make a good

ship,

but any old goods will make a red nose.

What

difference between a greyhound a bulldog (the Oregon)! and (ocean steamer) The greyhound knows how to run the bulldog

the

is

;

knows how

Why pen

is

it

in the

Officers

When When

that the sword

Navy?

does an old

salt

get salted?

he gets married.

is

the ship remind you of?

poor man

Where

On

mightier than the

draw more salary than yeomen.

When

A

is

a man-o'-war like a placer gets cleaned up often.

Why She

to fight.

are

:

is

it is

at sea

mine?

what does her rudder

always working.

Uncle Sam's

the sailors' caps.

initials

seen the plainest?

248

The American

What

Battleship in

G)mmission

the difference between an admiral and a

is

policeman?

The policeman

carries his

one

star,

and the ad-

miral has a big ship to carry his, too.

Why in the

are ships, sailors, clergymen,

and lovers

all

same boat?

Because they

all

make

knots.

What parts of the machinery remind a man of his mother-in-law?

married

Crank, cross-head, and jacking-over engine.

What

is

the nearest thing to a ship without a

rudder?

A saloon without Why

is

Because

a side door.

the line below the last one in this book? it is

the End.

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