Handling Confrontation
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Easy Step by Step Guides
Handling Confrontation
Gerry Williams
Rowmark
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First published in 2002 by Rowmark Ltd Unit 36 Broadmarsh Innovation Centre Havant Hampshire PO9 1HS ISBN 0 9539856 5 2 © Gerry Williams 2002 The right of Gerry Williams to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form (including photocopying or storing it in any medium by electronic means and whether or not transiently or incidentally to some other use of publication) without the written permission of the copyright owner except in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 or under the terms of a licence issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd, 90 Tottenham Court Road, London, W1P 9HE. Applications for the copyright owner’s written permission to reproduce any part of this publication should be addressed to the publisher. Warning: The doing of an unauthorised act in relation to a copyright work may result in both a civil claim for damages and criminal prosecution. Note: The material contained in this book is set out in good faith for general guidance and no liability can be accepted for loss or expense incurred as a result of relying in particular circumstances on statements made in this book.
Typeset by Freelance Publishing Services, Brinscall, Lancs www.freelancepublishingservices.co.uk Printed in Great Britain by RPM Reprographics Ltd, Chichester
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Contents About the author
ix
Introduction
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Self defence for the new millennium
1
How to use this guide
2
What this guide covers
3
What you will learn from this guide
3
Victim or victor?
5
In the workplace
6
Something to think about
8
The victim identity
9
In summary
14
The chemistry of fear
15
‘Fight or flee’ reflex
16
In summary
24
Fear management
25
Self-confidence
28
Some points on the law
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In summary
31
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Approaches to confrontation management
33
Undertaking a risk assessment
33
Tactical communications
35
Goals
35
Personal space or proxemics
35
Components of communication
37
Manner and tone of voice
38
Body language
39
Information reception
40
Listening skills
42
Practicalities
43
Five communication skills (LEAPS)
43
In summary
45
Handling the difficult or irate customer
47
5 Step Positive Cycle
47
Example
48
Positioning
53
The environment – seating
54
In summary
58
What if it doesn’t work? Dealing with possible threat
59
The law and personal safety
59
Reasonable force
60
Recognition signs
62
In summary
63
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Conflict resolution
65
Profiled offender behaviour
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The warning signs of attack
66
Reasonable defender response
69
Deadly force
71
In summary
72
Impact factors
73
Sex/age/size/strength
73
Skill levels
74
Exhaustion
75
Injury
76
Numbers
77
Special knowledge
77
Drugs and alcohol
77
Mental impairment
78
Weapons
79
Imminent danger
80
Position of disadvantage
81
Willingness to resist
82
In summary
83
Options
85
Create space between defender and aggressor
85
Issue verbal commands
86
Stance: move to establish control
86
Warning signals
87
Prolonged eye contact
88
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Facial colour changes
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Standing tall with head back
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Large extravagant movements
89
Ground kicking
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Accelerated breathing rate
89
Contradiction of stated intent
90
In summary
91
10 Danger signs – possible assault imminent
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Fist clenching
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Facial colour pales
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Lips tighten over teeth
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Eyebrows drop and chin drops
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Hands above waist
95
Shoulders tense
95
Stance
95
Target acquisition glance
96
In summary
97
11 Practicalities
99
LOOK
100
In summary
102
12 What next?
105
And finally
108
Appendix
111
Useful web sites
111
Further reading
112
Other Step by Step Guides
113
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About the author
Following a ‘first career’ in the Royal Navy during which he served 10 years in the Submarine Service, Gerry entered the world of commercial security and developed a specific interest in personal safety and security. His work has involved his travelling to all parts of the world including Moscow where he was involved in combating the Russian Mafia. Gerry is a qualified Instructor with The British Self Defence Governing Body and a Graduate of The Institute of Conflict Management. He is currently studying for a Degree in Criminal Justice Studies at Portsmouth University. Gerry’s company, GJK Defence Systems, is part of the GJK Group, formed in 1992 as a general security and defence consultancy. GJK Defence Systems was formed in 1994 specifically for the training and teaching of aggression management techniques to those people whose everyday job brings them into contact with hostile and sometimes violent situations.
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Introduction Self-defence for the new millennium It is, unfortunately, a reflection of the society in which we live that assaults against the person are becoming more and more frequent. These assaults can take many forms from domestic violence to street muggings, road rage and violent robbery within the home environment. Nearly everyone knows of someone who has been the victim of an attack, in whatever category, and such acts of violence can erupt at any time. The outcome of these assaults can result, in some cases, in serious injury or even death. Taking all the ‘normal’ precautions against assault no longer provides any guarantee that you will not become a victim; even the most innocent of pursuits can result in a confrontational situation where the potential for violent assault exists. For this reason alone, it makes sense to prepare a defence against such attack by learning the techniques that can save you, or at least minimise the severity of the attack. This defence should not only include the 1
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techniques to be deployed in the event of physical contact but should include the psychological aspects of defence such as the interpretation of body language, non-physical defence techniques, resolution and other aspects which are not generally covered by the more popular self-defence courses available. The programme set out in this book is specifically designed for those at risk of aggressive and sometimes violent situations in the workplace. In this context, the workplace can be anywhere where you come into contact with members of the public as part of your work, not necessarily restricted to an office or particular location. Areas where such risks occur include the airline industry (‘air rage’), hospitals, hotels, retail outlets, banks, the public service sector – the list is extensive. It must be stressed that this book is designed to enable you to develop workable strategies based on awareness and avoidance of confrontational situations wherever possible. Physical contact with an aggressor is always to be regarded as the last resort and should be avoided if at all possible.
How to use this guide This guide will take you through a number of escalating threat scenarios and will explain in detail the importance of verbal and non-verbal communication skills, de-escalation techniques, awareness and avoidance strategies. The law on self-defence is explained as it applies within the United Kingdom. The very nature of aggression and violence that can occur with little or no prior indication means that the management of such situations is not an exact science. Readers of this guide should construct their own 2
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Introduction
individual strategies for dealing with situations they might find themselves in. Preparation is everything but it must be realised that there are no guarantees in this area of personal safety and security.
What this guide covers This guide is primarily concerned with the safety of the person and the minimising of the potential of physical conflict and possible injury.
What you will learn from this guide • awareness of potential behaviour patterns that may lead to aggressiveness • avoidance of situations where the potential for aggressive behaviour exists • interpretation of non-verbal communications signals • control and de-escalation techniques • an outline of techniques for your personal safety and security. Note: to avoid confusion and the cumbersome usage of ‘he or she’ throughout the guide, the defender will be referred to in the male gender. No prejudice is intended.
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Victim or victor?
So, who becomes a victim of assault? Gone forever are the days when an Englishman’s home was his castle. More and more frequently both national and local press carry reports of violent assault against householders during the course of a burglary. Predominantly, other types of attack are directed against the older generation and those least able to protect themselves against such an attack. However, such cases are not limited to older people; quite often you will read about the case where a burglar has been interrupted during the course of his activities by the householder and there has ensued a physical confrontation, quite often with serious injury resulting to either or both parties. While the law is quite specific about the rights of the householder to protect himself in such a situation there have been many highly publicised instances where the intended victim has found himself being prosecuted for assaulting the burglar.
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Then there are the victims of domestic violence: wives, girlfriends and children. Generally speaking, such violence is initiated by the male partner against the woman or children. Some 80 per cent of people serving life sentences for murder fall into this category. Random acts of violence in pursuit of criminal activities are increasing. An example of this type of assault is the street mugger who is looking for an easy source of immediate cash, often to finance a drug habit. An increasingly worrying type of assault is the phenomenon known as ‘road rage’. The increase in the number of vehicles, the congestion on our roads and significantly, weather conditions, have resulted in incidents of assaults by drivers on other drivers, either for real or imagined infringements of ‘personal space’. Then there are others: the innocent bystander who finds himself caught up in the fracas of a Friday night punch-up at the local pub; the person waiting at a bus stop becomes the victim of an opportunistic bagsnatcher; the shopper returning to his car, laden down with the week’s shopping suddenly finds himself confronted by a gang of threatening youths – the list is extensive.
In the workplace Worryingly, there has been an increase in assaults against those who come into contact with members of the public who have a violent disposition towards officials and public servants such as Local Authority employees, the police and other members of the emergency services, doctors and nurses. Teachers are also increasingly at risk. 6
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In 1997, there were 1,200,000 incidents of work-related assaults.
This is one of the key findings from the Home Office research, funded by the Health and Safety Executive. The report Violence at Work: Findings from the British Crime Survey shows that:
In 1997 there were 523,000 physical assaults and 703,000 threats by members of the public against workers. According to recent research carried out by the Health and Safety Executive, there are clearly defined areas of employment where the risk of becoming the victim of aggression and/or violence is significantly higher than the norm. Using a baseline of 1.2 per cent to represent the average risk, the following occupations are among those at a higher risk: Security and protective service workers Nurses Care workers Public transport workers Catering/hotels/restaurant workers Teachers Retail sales workers Management and personnel staff Leisure/service providers Other health professionals
11.4% 5.0% 2.8% 2.8% 2.6% 1.8% 1.8% 1.7% 1.7% 1.4% 7
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Something to think about Are we, as a society, going to allow ourselves to become the victims of these circumstances or are you, as an individual, going to take responsibility for your own safety? •
Self-defence means exactly that – the defence of yourself. It does not include excessive violence against your aggressor. Neither does it include prolonging the confrontation for longer than is absolutely necessary. For the purpose of the defence of yourself, your objective will be to deter the attack in the first instance.
•
If, in spite of your efforts an assault situation becomes inevitable, then you must be able to repel that attack with sufficient force to ensure your own safety.
• Finally, you must be able to ensure your own means of escape to a place of safety and away from any further possibility of a re-launch of an attack. You are not going to learn how to go ten rounds with someone and beat them to a pulp. You are going to deal with the situation and get out! When performed correctly, the techniques that you will learn will limit any confrontational situation to less than ten seconds in most cases and certainly no more than twenty seconds. Now if that sounds impossible, try this experiment. Close your eyes and try and recall a fight scene that you have seen in a movie – the classic John Wayne Western with the obligatory bar-room brawl would be best. 8
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Now try and play the scene through in your mind, at the same time making a mental count. While such scenes may seem to have lasted some considerable time, this is merely a cinematic trick achieved by quickly changing camera angles. In fact, the fight scene itself will only have lasted a few seconds. Now try something else. Without counting or using a watch for timing, just close your eyes for what you think is a period of one minute. Remember, do not make a mental count. Now, using a watch or timer, repeat the exercise. Start the timer and shut your eyes and remember, do not try and count the seconds; after what you estimate to be a minute, open your eyes and stop the timer. Chances are that the timer will show something between thirty-five and forty-five seconds. This demonstrates that most peoples’ sense of time is easily distorted and the amount of this distortion can be affected by stress. In the context of a confrontational situation resulting in physical contact, the actual time spent in contact, while it may seem long, will in fact only last a few seconds. It becomes obvious that the techniques that are to be deployed in those few seconds must be as effective as possible and have the maximum effect if you are to resolve the confrontation without serious injury. Now, let us look at the victim more closely.
The victim identity While we have already examined some of the categories of victim, we need to look further into the actual 9
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makeup of the person who becomes the victim of an attack. Quite clearly, it is not the case that all wives become the battered victims of domestic violence, neither are all old age pensioners being beaten up by drug-crazed burglars. So, how is a victim identified? And, more importantly, what can you do to stop yourself being identified as a victim. Here, we will use an analogy. Why is the rabbit scared of the fox? The answer would seem simple; the fox wants to eat the rabbit and the rabbit instinctively knows this. Whatever the rabbit’s level of intelligence, it has just as highly-developed a sense of self-preservation as any other animal. Quite understandably, if the rabbit becomes aware of the presence of the fox, it will run away. Natural law will determine that sometimes the rabbit will escape, other times it will be caught. What it is important to recognise here is that it is not in the character of the rabbit to stand his ground and confront the fox. The rabbit simply accepts the fact that the fox is just as quick as he is and is certainly stronger; therefore, it does not even consider any other action than that of fleeing and trying to outrun the fox. We have the intelligence to recognise that fleeing the aggressor may not actually be our best chance of survival. We may decide to remain motionless. Alternatively, we may decide to hide, or seek some other less direct means of escape. We may even decide to confront the attack head on. Many factors in any given situation will determine which alternative we decide to deploy and not all people will make the same choice in the same situation.
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Victim or victor?
It is important to recognise why you have been identified as a victim, or at least a potential victim by your aggressor the reason for this is generally because, to the aggressor, you look like a victim.
To the aggressor, anybody who appears to be weaker than he is becomes the focus for his intended attack. It may be that the person is identified as being smaller, older, weaker, a woman – in fact, any number of factors can, in the mind of the aggressor, assist in his making the decision that you are to be his next victim. It follows, therefore, that if you do not look like a victim, the likelihood of you being identified as a victim is diminished. You must now decide what action you can take to achieve this. Let us start with a few general points and then try and concentrate on some specifics. For the most part, the aggressor will seek a lone victim. He (or sometimes, they) will want to minimise his own exposure to a counter-attack and will, therefore, seek to find the lone victim who is unlikely to put up any resistance. A substantial number of people currently fall into the category of what is termed ‘lone workers’. These are people who, for whatever reason, find themselves working mostly alone and on their own initiative. This does not mean, of course, that they are not employed within a larger organisation; for example, many public service employees can be termed lone workers including social service workers, health visitors, home 11
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helps, housing officials, environmental health workers and others. Lone workers are not only found in the public services. Smaller shops may only employ a single worker behind the counter. The term can even be extended to some areas of transport. For example, a bus driver, while obviously not alone when carrying passengers, is in fact a lone worker in that he is unlikely to have any of his colleagues around him while working, especially on one-man operated buses. Lone worker groups as described above are not the only ones at risk, although they do form a large proportion of the high-risk groups liable to experience violence at work. Other groups include hotel and restaurant staff and I have even had bank managers tell me that they have been assaulted in their own offices! Having established this, it would seem to make sense that fewer victims are identified in a situation where there are a lot of people. As an extreme example of this, we can say that the lone woman, walking down a dark country lane at one o’clock in the morning is probably more likely to become a victim of attack than the man who is with a group of his friends having a game of golf on a bright sunny morning. Likewise, we can easily identify the victim from the following two descriptions: A man in his late twenties or early thirties, dressed in smart casual clothes is walking purposefully down the road. His head is held high and he is taking notice of what is going on around him. His whole appearance is one of confidence. Walking towards him is another man who is in his late fifties and while he is dressed just as smartly as the 12
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younger man, he seems to be hunched over, lost in his own thoughts. He is merely ambling down the road and gives the appearance of looking somewhat apprehensive. Comparing these two figures, who, in your mind, presents the picture of a potential ‘victim’? Quite obviously, it is the second man and here is the dichotomy. By presenting a confident demeanour, the first man is, in fact, less likely to be selected as a victim. With the self-confidence that you gain from a knowledge of aggression management techniques, this becomes an almost self-fulfilling prophecy. So the question now becomes, ‘How do I develop this confidence?’ There is no single answer; some people are naturally more self-confident than others. To some people, the thought of speaking publicly to an audience of, say, two hundred holds no fear whatsoever; to others, this prospect would be enough to strike absolute terror into their hearts and they would quite literally become speechless. However, as we know, these fears can be overcome and in this sense, the confidence to overcome the fear of attack and to use aggression management techniques can be acquired as can any other skill; all it needs is a bit of practice.
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In summary • society is changing and becoming more aggressive, leading to an increase in violent behaviour •
violence can be entirely random or directed towards specifically targeted groups
•
there is a solution
•
you can put this solution into practice yourself
•
confidence in your own ability to deal with such situations counts for everything
•
this confidence can be developed using the techniques explained in this book
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you are already more confident than you think.
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The chemistry of fear
As a human being you probably consider that our species has made the most advances on the evolutionary ladder of all the creatures alive today. Compared to some creatures, this is very obviously true, for instance, crocodiles and alligators have not advanced one iota in millions of years – they were around at the time of the dinosaurs! We, on the other hand, have advanced from living in caves to living in space. We have mastered all of the elements and can live underwater (albeit for short periods) and fly around the globe in little over a day. And yet, in spite of all our advances, in some aspects we retain those very characteristics that allowed us to move out of the trees and caves all those thousands of years ago and which are shared by most sentient creatures alive today. These characteristics are based on a single overriding imperative – survival. Almost every creature on Earth has this in-built instinct and in this respect our human ability to survive is no different from our fellow creatures. 15
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This instinct is quite simple to understand; to survive, we must protect ourselves from those who are our natural enemies. Man has very few natural enemies, especially in the modern world. It is only when we stray out of our natural civilised environment that we are exposed to ‘enemies’ that have the potential to cause us harm. You can readily accept that there is little if any likelihood of being set upon by a man-eating lion in your local high street – this is ridiculous. However, you might be more fearful of such an attack if you were alone in the African veld and justifiably so. And so, it can be seen that the level of fear generated has much to do with the environment in which we find ourselves. While you may have no fear of being set upon by a lion in the High Street, you may be aware that there is a possibility of being targeted by some opportunistic mugger and you may have a commensurate fear of such an attack happening to you. Here, we have to look back at our caveman ancestors and imagine their level of fear considering the dangers that they faced. With those primordial instincts very much to the fore, these early men had many more ‘enemies’ to face than we do today. Accordingly, life was much more hazardous and the likelihood of survival could in no way be assured. To maximise his chances, early man took full advantage of what is known as the ‘fight or flight’ reflex.
Fight or flee reflex This is a highly complex physical and psychological reaction to the recognition of a threat to our survival, or even a threat to our mental and physical balance. 16
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It is important to note here that this reflex is only activated on the recognition of danger. If you do not recognise the danger, the reflex will not ‘kick-in’. More interestingly, the reflex can be controlled to some extent dependent upon the acuteness of the recognised danger and can be accelerated as the level of danger increases. This reflex causes a number of physical changes within our bodies, all of which have one specific purpose – to prepare us to either fight or flee – and to provide us with the additional energy and strength that we will require to do either. Stored blood sugars are released into the blood stream, non-vital organs are shut down, thereby increasing the amount of blood available to vital organs such as the heart and lungs, adrenaline is released into the bloodstream, certain parts of the brain close down and others increase in activity. Our pupils dilate, our mouth dries up, our hands become sweaty and clammy. All these signs indicate that our body is preparing itself to either face the danger (fight) or to remove ourselves from the danger as quickly as possible (flee). Which option we choose is a psychological dimension that will be discussed later. Let us now look at some of the effects that this chemical change causes in our bodies more closely and in particular, how modern living has subordinated this natural reflex quite unnaturally. Picture yourself driving your car along a dual carriageway. It is January and the weather is freezing but visibility is good and the nearest car in front of you is some 100m ahead. A brief look in your rear-view mirror shows a lorry about 60m behind you. You are all travelling at around 40 mph. The radio is on. Your 1417
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year-old daughter is in the passenger seat reading up on her homework. You are mentally planning the midwinter break that you and your family are taking in the south of Spain in a week’s time. The next thing you are aware of is that the vehicle in front is a lot closer than 100m and its brakelights are on. The distance is closing fast and you apply your own brakes but in the freezing weather, you start to go into a skid and you can feel yourself losing control of the vehicle. The lorry behind you has closed to 20m, the car in front begins to fill your windscreen. You take your foot off the brake and steer to the left and the hard shoulder. All you can see out of the rearview mirror is the radiator grill of the lorry. You are going to die; your daughter is going to die – this is it! Two seconds later, you look up and you have come to a halt with the front bumper of your car embedded in the near-side embankment, the lorry has passed you on the outside lane and the car in front is nowhere to be seen. In fact, it has now accelerated away, totally oblivious to the drama that was occurring behind it. You slump over the wheel and look over to see that your daughter is breathing, eyes open and staring ahead – alive. You sit back and very quickly realise that you are shaking from head to toe. You try and turn the ignition key off to stop the engine but can hardly grip it. All you can do for the moment is sit there. Thoughts are racing through your head and you have difficulty in focusing on what is happening around you. Gradually, as you realise what might have been and that, in fact, you are all in one piece, things begin to settle down but you are still very shaky. For anyone who has been through a similar experience, 18
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you will recognise the physical symptoms. Now, without the drama, let us look at what was happening to your body during the episode. We move very quickly from a feeling of calm and tranquillity to one of almost instant panic when, because of a momentary lapse in concentration, we recognise the danger posed by the closing distance with the car in front. This is heightened by the knowledge of the lorry behind and more particularly, the havoc and destruction this can cause on impact. It is at this moment of recognition that our body takes over and prepares us physically to meet the danger; in this instance, almost inevitably, a crash with at least one if not two vehicles. Having prepared your body in accordance with its instinctive and reflex instructions, you should now either fight or flee. In fact, of course, you can do neither. Your control of the situation has been almost entirely taken from you and the only action that you can positively take is to try and avoid the impact. Even here, you have minimal control because the effect of the ice means that braking of the car only worsens the situation. Nevertheless, your body does not know this and insists that you take one of the two decisions for which it is waiting. Here, your mental imperative takes over and, in this instance, you manage to avert what would otherwise almost certainly be a major disaster. You have survived the moment by a mixture of driving skills, good luck and God’s good grace. Your body is still waiting for you to make the decision to fight or flee. Having prepared you with the best chances of survival at its command, your body is now flooded with energy-giving chemicals with nothing to do and nowhere to go. 19
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Let us now try and link these reactions to an experience that you may have had in the workplace. All of us suffer from some levels of stress while at work and some stress is necessary for us to perform effectively. However, in confrontational situations, stress levels are likely to adversely affect our decision making processes unless we recognise what is happening to us physically and we are able to control these changes to our advantage. Think back to a recent occasion when you were involved in a confrontational situation with someone and recall the physical feelings that you experienced during the event. It might have been at the supermarket checkout, at a railway station, in a restaurant – it can happen just about anywhere. The fight or flee reflex can and does kick in at anytime when we feel under threat and the threat can be quite simply that we are no longer in control of a particular situation. An argument with a colleague in the office or being mugged in the street – the physical reaction is very much the same in either case.
The very reason why you are trembling so uncontrollably has nothing to do with fear per se, it is quite simply your body reacting to your refusal to do what is instinctively required of it. As your mind slowly takes over control in recognising that the immediate danger has now passed, your body will, in time, return to its normal chemical balance.
In the meantime, the energy levels must be reduced, closed-down organs opened up again, blood-flow restored to normal and all this takes a lot longer than it 20
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did to prepare you for the expected danger. In fact, your body can react to danger in a split second. If the opportunity to react to that danger is then denied, it can take the body many minutes, sometimes hours, to restore itself to normal. There is little that we can do to control these physical and chemical changes that are taking place but it is possible to learn to control the effects that they have on how we act and perform. Look, for example, at this real-life ‘case study’. One of my clients in the leisure industry required my presence during the run up to the Christmas holidays to protect his employees against aggressive and violent behaviour from so-called ‘guests‘ who, in the tradition of the season occasionally took on board a little too much ‘spirit‘. One evening, I was observing the actions of a group of three men who had quite obviously been drinking for some considerable time although their behaviour was not particularly noticeable unless you know the signs to look for. Some time later, a black African couple (I later found out they came from Kenya) entered the bar and sat at a table some three or four metres away from these men. A short time later the three men began to make what were obviously racial remarks towards the couple. As I moved to intervene, the man took matters into his own hands and rose to confront the three men – courageous but unwise, considering the odds. I now found myself in a position where I was going to have to handle not only three drunks but also a justifiably irate couple who had been the victims of racial abuse. Either situation on its own would have been difficult enough but to try and deal with both groups at the same time put me under immense pressure to 21
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deal with the situation without it deteriorating into something more physically serious. In this instance, I decided that I would inevitably require the assistance of the police at some stage as a criminal offence had taken place and I signalled one of the staff to make the ‘999‘ call. In the meantime, I still had to keep the two parties from coming into contact with each other and during this period, I was personally at risk of assault from both sides. In keeping the protagonists apart, it was necessary for me to physically insert myself between them. I took the decision that I faced little or no risk from the couple – they after all had been the victims of this verbal assault and I was coming to their assistance. The immediate physical threat came from two of the three men, both of whom I judged to be ready to use violence unless I could control them. By placing myself in a position whereby I was able to maintain a minimum safe distance of about three metres, I was able to keep sight of both men, even though they were standing some two metres apart. It was essential that I keep sight of both of them at once because if I had been momentarily distracted by the actions of one of them, then the other would have seized the opportunity to initiate an assault. Mentally, I was weighing up the various possible scenarios that could ensue from this position and calculating my response – what if the big guy made a lunge for me or the couple? What if the little guy came at me with a broken glass? What if they both rushed at me at once? Where were the cops? In situations like this it is essential to keep thinking. The temptation is often to settle on one course of action thereby leaving no room for flexibility if the 22
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circumstances change. You must be ready to adapt with little or no prior warning. By keeping myself positioned between the couple and the aggressors, at the same time ensuring that I maintained a safe distance between myself and the aggressors; by using verbal commands and reinforcing my position as being in control of the situation; by being prepared, if necessary, to meet a physical assault, I was able to hold this incident under control until the arrival of the police some ten minutes later. Subsequently, the three men were escorted from the premises and apologies were made to the couple for the indignity that they had suffered. The situation was resolved without recourse to physical intervention but it was touch and go there for a while and the outcome was far from certain at a number of stages during the course of the incident which lasted for a total of about twenty minutes. At each stage of the action, it was necessary for me to re-evaluate the situation, to observe the actions of all the participants, to assess the likely reaction of any one of them to a particular action or something that might be said. I can assure you, it was quite scary at the time but being able to control the fear was essential in bringing the matter to a conclusion without losing control.
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In summary •
fear is natural
•
fear is needed for survival
•
fear has a useful physiological impact on the human body
•
we can predict these bodily changes
•
fear can be overcome and used to your advantage
•
control your fear and you control the situation
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! Fear management
Now that we have learnt something of the chemistry of fear and the changes that take place in the body to prepare it for either ‘fight or flee’ we are in a much better position to begin the process of fear management. Generally, fear can be put into two categories: • fear of things unknown • fear of things known. From a purely logical point of view, there is, of course, absolutely no reason to be afraid of anything of which we have no knowledge. This can be demonstrated in the fact that very young children have virtually no fear of anything because they have not learned or experienced that certain conditions or environments can present a danger. Thus, a very young child would have no fear about crawling along a 40cm girder 30m above the ground, a prospect that would make any number of adults dizzy and faint just thinking about it. Probably the only real thing that very young children fear is the realisation of abandonment when they find that 25
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their parents are not there when they want them, a function of parental bonding. As the child grows older and begins to experience more of the world around it, it develops a sense of awareness in which certain activities are subsequently identified as being hazardous and to be avoided and other activities which are non-hazardous and can generally be enjoyed and entered into without danger. The child has gained the intelligence to categorise activities into things that instil fear or do not instil fear. It is a consequence of our individuality as human beings that some people will develop a fear of something to which another person will not, for instance the very common example of some people being afraid of spiders. Each of us have individual categories into which activities are sorted as being fearful and nonfearful and, more interestingly, within those categories, each fear has its own threshold at which fear can turn to absolute panic. In the context of aggression management and selfdefence, there are any number of activities or circumstances that many people now regard as being fearful, many of these with some justification given the current social environment in which we live. As an example, it is not uncommon for elderly people to be afraid of going out after dark in certain areas. It is not unreasonable to be afraid of walking alone down a dark alley at midnight. What makes you afraid? Let us go back for a moment to the common fear mentioned previously – a fear of spiders. There are no poisonous spiders native to the United Kingdom. The largest spider found in a house is never going to be 26
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more than, say, 10cm across. There has never been a recorded instance of anyone being mugged by a spider, not even a gang of them! And yet, these creatures have the ability to turn grown men into jelly. Now it has to be said that these same men will become instantly transformed into fighting warriors if suitably kitted out with the proper means with which to deal with these terrifying arachnids; a flamethrower, Uzi sub-machine gun, fragmentation grenade, etc. Basically anything that will pretty well guarantee the demise of the spider (and everything else within a one hundred metre radius). While what you have just read may be a slight exaggeration, it does illustrate how generally, the fear of something can be overcome if you are equipped with the proper form of defence. The same is true in other situations. If you find yourself in a situation that might justifiably be regarded as being ‘fearful’, then it makes sense to have available the necessary forms of defence to reduce or remove that fear.
Of all the weapons that you might arm yourself with the most important is your own selfconfidence.
All the ‘weapons’ in the world will be of no use to you whatsoever if you do not have: • confidence in the ‘weapon’ • confidence in your ability to use the ‘weapon’.
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Self-confidence Individual levels of self-confidence vary greatly which is why some people have no hesitation in addressing large groups of people at a public speaking engagement while others find it difficult to even hold a conversation with more than one or two other people. Fortunately, this self-confidence can be practised and increased. When you took your very first driving lesson, no doubt you were very apprehensive and nervous. The thought of trying to take control of half a ton of metal, the other drivers on the road, the traffic signs, the coordination needed to move the wheel, change gears and brake must have seemed quite daunting. However, with practice you became proficient enough to pass your driving test and now, some years later perhaps, driving a car has become second nature to you; you do it pretty much without thinking. Your selfconfidence in your ability to drive has improved with time and practice. Likewise, your confidence to handle fearful situations can also be increased although, for obvious reasons, your opportunity to practice the techniques in a real life situation are (hopefully) limited. The next best option is to practice these techniques in a controlled but realistic environment that will allow you to try out the techniques. You can develop those techniques that are best suited to you personally and to prepare yourself, both physically and mentally for the time when you may have to use them in a real life situation. These practice situations can be engineered to include all those elements that generally instil a sense of fear 28
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in an individual. With practice, this fear can be overcome and by the use of the aggression management techniques that you are now learning, you can reverse the feeling of powerlessness and turn the violence and aggression of an aggressor to your advantage. An element of your self-defence strategy, as already mentioned, is your confidence in the ‘weapons’ that you have available to you. In the context of self-defence, this means, in essence, confidence in yourself because, for the most part, you are the ‘weapon’.
Some points on the law The laws of the united kingdom do not generally allow its citizens to carry arms, even for self-defence. It goes without saying that the carrying of firearms is against the law but lesser weapons such as knives, batons etc., are also precluded from use except under very specific circumstances.
Having said that, the weight of public opinion in the United Kingdom is turning towards the acceptance of private citizens being allowed the use of certain weapons to protect themselves against assault. Over the last few years, there have been a considerable number of very well-publicised accounts of court cases involving the prosecution of people who have found themselves accused of the unlawful use of a weapon in protecting either themselves or their own property.
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More and more frequently, these cases are being dismissed by juries and these decisions will undoubtedly mean that a change in the law will be forthcoming in the future. But this is not the case in every instance. The presumption in law is that any force used in selfdefence must be reasonable given the circumstances at the time. How far in the future a change in the law may be is far from certain and in any event, any such case that comes before the courts will always be subject to a very careful consideration of individual circumstances. For the moment, therefore, we must regard the unarmed individual as the ‘weapon’ and look further at how this ‘weapon’ can be best deployed. Obviously, if an individual has had the opportunity of practising with the ‘weapon’, he or she will be much better in actually using it in a real life situation. If, additionally, an individual has not only had the chance to practice with the ‘weapon’ but also had the opportunity of refining its use by making certain adjustments to suit their own individual requirements, then that ‘weapon’ will be more effective if it ever has to be used in earnest. Fortunately, it is perfectly legal to use this ‘weapon’ and to train in its use through the attendance of self-defence courses. Such training provides for a more measured response if and when faced with a real-life incident.
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In summary •
overcoming fear is the greatest single factor in boosting self-confidence
• increase in self-confidence also increases the effectiveness of the primary ‘weapon’ – yourself • the more self-confidence that you have, the less likely it is that you will be picked as a target.
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" Approaches to confrontation management While by no means an absolute truth, it is often the case that physical confrontation is signalled by an aggressor by means of verbal communication and body language. This chapter looks at some of the means of identifying such warning signs in order that strategic decisions on preparing for a physical assault can be made as far in advance of the onset of an attack as possible. Before we start to look in detail at the various elements, now would be a good time to investigate some of the authoritative sources of information available to you in developing your strategy.
Undertaking a risk assessment As a first step, it is necessary to undertake a risk assessment. This will more clearly define those individuals who are most at risk and further, look at the actual 33
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risks that they face. The Health and Safety Executive and Department of Health web sites are invaluable sources of information in this respect (see the Appendix) and the DoH site contains a self-audit toll entitled ‘A Safer Place‘. While specifically designed for combatting violence against social care staff, the document provides a very useful template that can be used within other working environments. If you follow this example, you will have the comfort of knowing that you are complying with all aspects of current legislation in the protection of staff and employees. Once you have conducted your risk assessment and documented it, I would recommend that you submit it for scrutiny to an outside agency. The reasoning behind this is very simple; familiarity breeds contempt and contempt breeds complacency. In conducting your own risk assessment, it is more than likely that you will tend to minimise one or more areas of risk, often on the basis that a specific type of incident has never occurred, therefore it is never likely to in the future. This is not the case in practice and it is as big a mistake to minimise the potential risk as it is to overemphasise a risk. Independent outside scrutiny ensures that ‘all the bases‘ have been covered and questions can be asked that might otherwise have been overlooked. Admittedly, there is a cost associated with such scrutiny but recognise that it will be nowhere near the cost you may have to pay if it is found that your original risk assessment was deficient following an incident. We discussed in Chapter 1 the phenomenon of time distortion and the effect that this can have on decision making. Warning signs will be sent very quickly and you will only have a very short time in which to identify them properly and to make an appropriate response. 34
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This time period can often be measured in periods of seconds rather than minutes and accordingly, awareness and a constant re-evaluation of the situation is required so that your responses are commensurate with the assessed threat and your behaviour does nothing to escalate the situation to a point where physical confrontation becomes inevitable.
Tactical communications Tactical communications is the means by which communication is undertaken by two or more parties with three aims: • the safety of the individual • the safety of others in the vicinity • the safety of the aggressor.
Goals Our goals in using tactical communications skills are twofold: • enhanced defender safety • professionalism.
Personal space or proxemics Proxemics describes the different ranges measured in distance between two or more people during the course of any type of communication. 35
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Most of us are conditioned by society to respect the right of others (and ourselves) to be allowed a certain amount of space which is regarded as our own. This goes right back to the early days of man and the establishment of our ‘territory’ and is an instinct still displayed by many animals today.
There are three ranges in which all face-toface communication takes place. intimate
less than 50cm
personal
50cm to 4m
public
more than 4m
90% of all communication takes place in personal space
Most of us are happy to give and receive information and to communicate with others in public and personal space. Intimate space is a very special reserve and only our most favoured confidantes such as family members and those with whom we have developed a very close personal relationship are generally allowed within this space without us suffering from a feeling of unease. However, there are certain forced exceptions to this general rule, for example, the intimate closeness of total strangers that we allow when we attend a football match or a rock concert. This is explained by the fact that while the individuals may be perfect strangers to us on a personal level, we are all sharing in a common experience and general aim (to cheer on our 36
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own football team or in combined love of a certain type of music and performer).
Components of communication There is more than one component at work when we communicate with someone. A whole range of verbal and non-verbal factors will determine how what is being communicated is interpreted by the listener or observer.
body movement
55%
vocal tone
38%
words
7%
In the modern world we communicate by an increasing number of means and these can collectively be termed as ‘communication media’. Books, newspapers, the Internet, radio, television, theatre, films – the list is expanding all the time. In particular, increasing ownership of personal computers and access to the Internet means that we are now able to communicate almost instantaneously with people on the other side of the world. Little of this communication is actually carried out by the use of the spoken word; in fact, only about 7 per cent of interpersonal communication is carried out by this means.
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Manner and tone of voice Of more importance than the words themselves is the manner or tone in which they are spoken. As an example of this we can use the simple experiment of communicating with our household pets. Cats and dogs have little or no understanding of the meaning of individual words; rather, they interpret the intention of the words by the tone in which they are spoken. You could say to your dog, ‘There’s a good boy’ but if you say it in a scolding and angry tone of voice, the dog will interpret this as being an admonishment. Likewise, if you say to the dog ‘Bad boy’ in a soothing and comforting voice, the likelihood is that the dog will start wagging his tail in appreciation and have no concept of being told off. Animal training classes particularly stress when teaching owners how to control their pets that the tone of voice is all-important. (Remember Barbara Woodhouses’s ‘Walkiiiiies‘?) This basic principle applies to human communication as well and the same experiment can be used on babies and young children who have not, as yet, learnt sufficient vocabulary to determine the meaning of certain words. They too, react more strongly to the tone of voice used rather than the words themselves. Obviously, as we grow older and are able to understand the meaning of the words, we interpret the meaning of a phrase or sentence by combining the words spoken together with the tone in which those words are spoken. Thus, to offer praise to someone in an angry voice would appear to the listener as being a confusing 38
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message; on the one hand, the words spoken seem to be reassuring and comforting but the tone in which they are said conveys a feeling of anger and resentment. Our subconscious mind recognises the conflict of the two opposing meanings and the message is scrambled and confused. In order for the correct message to be received, it is important that the words and tone in which they are spoken are consistent. Of even greater importance in what can be termed ‘personal communication’, that is, face-to-face communication between two or more people, is the ‘body language’ that forms the third part of this specific type of communication.
Body language Body language is the outward and visible display of our feelings and emotions when we communicate and is often carried out unconsciously or subconsciously. For example, we may be trapped in a conversation with a person with whom we really do not have any liking. Common courtesy and politeness demands that we at least give the impression of listening to what they have to say but what we are really thinking is how we can justifiably escape from this person and get away from the whole situation. We may try not to offend the other person by simply walking away and ignoring what they have to say but our body language can give our true feelings away if they are correctly interpreted by the speaker.
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For example, we may start fidgeting and moving around, crossing and uncrossing our legs and arms; we may not look at the person directly and let our eyes stray to other areas beyond the immediate vicinity of the speaker; we may constantly look at our watch to check the time. These signs of inattention can be communicated to the speaker who may or may not recognise them. If we are truly interested in what a person has to say we will sit attentively, facing the person and looking at them directly. We may lean towards them so that we are relatively closer to them, thus conveying the message that we are really interested in what they are saying. As with the use of the tone of voice, body language can be interpreted as being opposed to what is actually being said by the use of words when communicating. It can, therefore, be recognised that all three aspects of personal communication – the words spoken, the tone of voice in which those words are spoken and the accompanying body language all play a part in relaying the true meaning of what is being communicated. If any one of these elements is in conflict with the other two elements, then the true meaning of the communication is received as being confused and thereby lost.
Information reception In the same way that there is more than one factor at work in communicating information, we have more than one means of receiving that same information:
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How much is taken in and from which sense? sight
87%
sound
9%
all others
4%
In the previous section we have looked at the way in which communication is transmitted. However, the emphasis changes when it comes to looking at how we receive that information. From the statistics above, it can be seen that the majority of information that we receive from all of our senses is that received by sight. As a species, we humans rely to a huge extent on what we are able to see and interpret, according to our perceived picture of the world as we think it should be. A very powerful example of this communication reception can be demonstrated by examining the effect of the old ‘silent movies‘. For the main part, these films relied almost totally on the visual image conveying the action being portrayed on the screen although this was often reinforced by the use of flash dialogue frames inserted in the film itself and the use of appropriately dramatic musical accompaniment. Yet, even without the spoken dialogue, viewers of the films were able to understand exactly what was going on in the film – even more so in the case of comedy movies of the type made by Charlie Chaplin and other comedians of the era. Sight is also important in helping us equate what is being communicated by sound with how we perceive 41
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the speaker to be acting and accordingly assist in deciding whether the words are sincere or not. No matter that the spoken words are said in a sincere tone, if this is at variance with the information that we receive from looking at the speaker, then our sight reception is accepted as being the more reliable factor in determining the true meaning behind the spoken words. Less than 10 per cent of our received communication is by sound. Note the use of the word sound and not speech (as in the use of words). We have already learnt that it is the sound or tone in which words are spoken rather than the actual words themselves and their literal meaning that is important.
Listening skills It is important to be receptive to what is being said and the manner in which it is articulated. More importantly, it is important to hear all that is being said and not to be selective so that you only hear what fits in with your preconceptions of the situation. This can be described as selective deafness. It is also important to interpret what is being said or meant to be said. Not everyone benefits from a high degree of articulation and vocabulary and some people experience a problem in formulating their arguments in a coherent fashion. Additional factors that may contribute to this problem can be the stress being experienced at the time.
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Practicalities It is essential in preventing a potentially hazardous situation arising, to react to what is being communicated. Components of this reaction include facial expressions, body language and relevant verbal responses. do not: 1
think ahead
2
ignore what is being said
3
pretend to understand
4
give your own opinions.
do: 1
acknowledge the other person’s point of view
2
do what you say you will.
Five communication skills (LEAPS) Listen Empathise Ask Paraphrase Summarise One sure-fire way of getting someone to be interested in you is for you to be interested in them. That sounds a bit of a cliché but it is, nevertheless true.
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Let us take the example of two people who have never met before being introduced to each other at a party being given by a mutual friend. The host will introduce the two parties and then retire, hoping that they will strike up a conversation so that he can attend to the other guests. Here we have to acknowledge a trait of human nature; nobody, but nobody likes to talk about anything as much as they do about themselves, given the chance. The person with the real communications skills is not the great orator but is, in fact, the person who can listen attentively. By getting the other person to talk about themselves, by listening to what they are saying, empathising with their point of view, by asking them questions, by replying by paraphrasing and by summarising what has been said, the listener will find that the speaker will reveal intimate information that they might not reveal to someone with whom they are already very well acquainted. In fact, taken to extremes, it is often the case that the listener may experience some small problem in bringing this communication to a close and retiring gracefully in order to mix with other guests at the party. The speaker will go away from the encounter thinking what a great person the listener is, how interesting they are and relaying this impression to others when the listener may have spoken no more than 5 or 10 per cent of the total words spoken during the whole meeting. It is this ability to listen attentively to others that marks the true communicator from those who attempt to dominate a conversation. The above example may seem to have been a bit onesided but in fact, the listener with his skills knows that he is not being dominated in the exchange. They 44
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actively want the speaker to impart as much information as possible. By doing so, they gain an invaluable amount of information about what motivates the speaker and how they are likely to respond to a given situation. The listener can then formulate his response accordingly, termed and phrased in such a way it will almost automatically be accepted by the other person.
In summary • undertake a risk assessment to define those individuals who are most at risk and the actual risks that they face • tactical communications is the means by which communication is undertaken by two or more parties with three aims: 1 2 3
the safety of the individual the safety of others in the vicinity the safety of the aggressor
• 90% of all communication takes place in personal space • a whole range of verbal and non-verbal factors will determine how what is being communicated is interpreted by the listener or observer • in order for the correct message to be received, it is important that the words and tone in which they are spoken coincide according to our programmed 45
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understanding of what is being communicated •
of even greater importance in face to face communication with one or more people, is the ‘body language’ that forms the third part this specific type of communication
•
body language is the outward and visible display of our feelings and emotions when we communicate and is often carried out unconsciously or subconsciously
•
the majority of information that we receive from all of our senses is that received by sight
•
less than 10 per cent of our received communication is by sound
•
it is important to hear all that is being said and not to be selective so that you only hear what fits in with your preconceptions of the situation
•
it is also important to interpret what is being said or meant to be said
•
there are 5 communication skills (LEAPS) Listen Empathise Ask Paraphrase Summarise
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# Handling the difficult or irate customer In the context of confrontation management, communication plays an all-important part in de-escalating a potentially hazardous situation. It is only when all communication has irretrievably broken down and physical safety comes under direct threat that physical responses are justified. There are five steps to remember when handling the irate customer. I have called this the: 5 Step Positive Cycle 1
ask
2
summarise
3
offer solutions
4
confirm
5
act.
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Example: the irate customer Let us assume that a member of the public feels themselves so aggrieved by the actions of a department within his Local Authority that he determines that he will take the matter right to the top. No telephone calls, no letters; he wants to see the Head of Department and have a showdown and he wants it now. On the drive from his home to the Town Hall he has really had time to work up a head of steam for this encounter. No petty-minded little bureaucrat is going to be allowed to get away with the treatment that our man has had to suffer; he wants satisfaction or there is going to be ‘blood on the carpet’! On arriving at the Town Hall and having spent ten minutes trying to find somewhere to park that has, quite obviously, raised his temperature by another couple of degrees, he storms into the reception area. He demands to see the Head of Housing/Social Services/Environmental Health etc., and from his vast and long experience, the receptionist recognises all the signs of a ‘trouble-maker’ on the premises. He does not get paid to sort out problems so his first instinct is to pass this problem onwards and upwards or in any direction away from his own little domain. He contacts the relevant person by telephone – we’ll call him the manager – who is advised that there is someone in Reception to see him. From the coded description given by the receptionist (and believe me, they all have their little code-words specifically for just such occasions) the manager immediately knows that he should prepare himself for some sort of confrontation. 48
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Not surprisingly the manager is in no great hurry to meet with this kind of situation. He has experienced it before and it nearly always degenerates into a slanging match and it was only last week that poor old Jenkins from Housing got punched in the nose for his pains in trying to sort out this kind of problem. In the meantime our complainant is standing over our receptionist anxious to get to grips (literally) with the person he has come to see. The minutes pass and his temperature is steadily rising with the delay. After what seems like hours but is, in fact, only ten minutes (remember time distortion under stress, discussed in Chapter 1), the manager puts in an appearance. By this time, the complainant has already rehearsed any possible dialogue that may have taken place and, in his mind, the answers have already been given and these are not satisfactory. In fact, by now he knows that this is all a conspiracy by the Town Hall, directed to him personally and the only satisfaction that he is going to get today is by giving the manager a ‘bloody good hiding’. Let us now re-run this example but in doing so, put into practice some of the communication principles that we have been studying. In this instance, we will look at the circumstances only from the point of view of the Town Hall staff. The first point of contact will inevitably be the receptionist. It is here that the whole tenor of any further communication will be set. The receptionist should have been trained in inter-personal and communication skills and in recognising that the complainant may be highly agitated. He can take immediate action in attempting to de-escalate any potential confrontation. 49
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This is relatively simple and extremely effective if carried out in the right manner. The receptionist should first ascertain whether the complainant has arranged for an appointment. In the majority of cases the complainant will not have done so but the receptionist is not to know this at the time. On being told that the complainant has not made an appointment, the receptionist should now take the time to study the demeanour of the person in front of him and assess the situation. If the person seems agitated or angry, then it would be reasonable to assume that he is unlikely to be dropping by the Town Hall to offer his congratulations to the Head of Housing on the sterling work that he and his department are doing on behalf of the ratepayers. No, what we have here is someone with a complaint and, more importantly, he wants that complaint dealt with. To him, his complaint is the most important thing in his life right now and decisions have to be made and they had better be made in his favour or else! It is at this point that the receptionist can play a major role in de-escalation. In recognising the situation, rather than simply passing the problem immediately upwards, he can start what will actually be a continuing flow of conversation which will eventually be taken over by the official whom the complainant wishes to see. For example, having contacted the manager and advised him that there is someone in Reception to see him, without an appointment, he could then engage the complainant in a little fact-finding exercise. He could ask, in a sympathetic and sincere tone of voice 50
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(remember the principles of communication transmission and reception discussed in Chapter 4), exactly what the problem is. If this is done correctly and speedily an amazing phenomenon takes place. Let us remember that our complainant knows who he wants to see and all his anger and temper is directly focused towards that person. Now, he is confronted by someone who is interested in his problem and listening to what he has to say. He is now faced with a dilemma; his own preconceived ideas have developed a mind-set that dictates that all Town Hall employees are in a conspiracy against him yet here is someone who seems to be interested in what he has to say and is willing to listen and even ask questions in order to better understand the problem. This is at total variance with his preconceptions and momentarily throws him off balance and in doing so, immediately makes him empathise with the receptionist. Here we now have an almost perfect example of good two-way communication being established quickly and achieving the aim of de-escalation and the potential for confrontation. By engaging in the first step of the Positive Cycle – ask – the receptionist has already paved the way for further communication to take place when the Town Hall manager arrives in Reception from his office to take over the conversation. Skipping backwards in time for a few minutes, let us look as the actions of the manager himself. OK, so he has been in these types of situations before and they have never proved to be a very happy experience. In fact, previous encounters would seem to 51
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dictate that a repeat of such a meeting should be delayed for as long as possible. This is absolutely, unquestionably, without doubt the wrong approach. By ignoring or delaying taking action in such circumstances, the problem is not going to go away. In fact, the longer the complainant is left hanging around in Reception, being given more time to mentally rehearse the conversation that has yet to take place, the higher his temperature is going to rise and the less likelihood of avoiding a confrontational situation. The manager, on being advised by the Receptionist that there is a complainant downstairs should seize the initiative and go immediately to deal with the situation.
Do not forget, delay worsens the potential for confrontation.
Now, back to the reception area. Our complainant has been engaged in conversation with the receptionist and has had the opportunity of explaining just exactly what his problem is. In fact, he knows perfectly well that the receptionist himself is completely powerless to deal with the specifics of his complaint but that does not matter; what he has got is someone who will listen to him sincerely and sympathetically. At this point our manager enters Reception and is immediately recognised by the receptionist who must now act swiftly and decisively. 52
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Don’t forget, our complainant, while having found an ally in the receptionist, has still stored all his anger ready for direction at the manager. The next few seconds are going to be crucial. The receptionist can now make the necessary introductions and in doing so can appraise the manager of the situation by summarising the complainant’s problem. This is not only time saving but demonstrates to the complainant that his problem has already been listened to and, more importantly, understood. The manager, for his part, needs to demonstrate attentiveness during this phase and ask further questions of the complainant directly. At the end of this exchange, the receptionist, his job done, can retire from the conversation. He will have played probably the most important part in this scenario as being the interface rather than the barrier between the complainant and the manager. The manager and complainant can then retire to an interview room and carry on with the conversation.
Positioning A few words on positioning. During this exchange, it is best that there is no direct face-to-face positioning of any of the participants except at the introductory stage. There are very valid reasons for this. If the manager takes a position directly in front of the complainant, this can be interpreted as being confrontational. It would also mean that the receptionist, whose role here as the perceived ally of the complainant, would necessarily have to take a position to the side, thus forming a triangle. The complainant would subconsciously interpret this as subordinating the role of 53
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the receptionist, his ally and break the flow of communication that is trying to be established. The ideal positioning of the three people concerned would be at an angle of 120° to each other, thus forming a circle where no one person is seen to be dominant. This is an excellent technique and does much to lower the temperature of all concerned. The complainant does not feel threatened by the weight of bureaucracy, the manager does not feel that he is in the middle of something that he cannot control and the receptionist feels he is taking an equally important role in contributing to the communication process.
The environment seating When the manager and complainant retire to an interview area, again it is important not to construct an environment that can be interpreted as being confrontational. It is not a good idea to conduct further communication face-to-face across a desk. The desk itself acts as a barrier; the bigger the desk, the bigger the barrier. If there is a desk, the manager should seat himself to one side of the complainant and angle his chair towards the other person thus adopting a nonconfrontational position. Where possible, you should never arrange seating so that your means of exit is obstructed and your seat should be nearest the door.
This applies whatever your working environment, not only offices. Due to the physical constraints of some jobs, this may not always be possible, for example bus drivers have no option as to their seating but it is 54
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important to make the best use of your environment to ensure that you have the means of escape available to you, just in case things take a turn for the worse. Think about the layout of furniture, what can be moved and what cannot. Often a simple rearrangement of tables and chairs can make the environment much safer.
Step 1 ask Putting yourself in the role of the manager, ask what the complainant’s problem is if you haven’t already done this at Reception.
Step 2 summarise Summarise the problem and ensure that you have a clear understanding of the reason for the complaint. This also acknowledges to the complainant that you have understood.
Step 3 offer solutions Once that has been established, you are then in a position to offer a range of alternative actions and solutions that can be taken to address the problem. These actions must be within your power to fulfil. Having described these actions to the complainant, you can now ask that all-important question, ‘What would you like me to do?’ What would you like me to do? This is the most important question that will generally remove the potential for a physical outcome. 55
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In such situations, this one question has an almost overpowering effect on what will follow. From the complainant’s point of view, the situation has changed radically. His initial intention in confronting the manager was to demand a resolution to his problem and his expectation was, from his previous experience, that nothing would be done. Here he is confronted with a situation where he is invited to contribute to the resolution of his own problem by suggesting a certain course of action. In essence, the person whom he thought to be his protagonist gives him a level of control. This ‘gift’ of control further helps in the de-escalation process and further reduces the likelihood of a physical confrontation. From here, the interview can carry on, refining the options available and at each step the potential for violence recedes. Eventually, the position can be arrived at where, even if a full resolution is not possible, at least an acceptable compromise can be reached. Because the communication between the complainant and the manager has been conducted using developed skills and techniques, the attitude of the complainant has changed from one demanding immediate and full satisfaction and remedy to his problem to one where he is prepared to accept a compromise position.
Step 4 confirm It is now time to bring the encounter to a close. However, before this can be done, the manager, giving the complainant the reasonable expectation that action will be forthcoming, should confirm that course of action. 56
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Step 5 act Take action.
Of more importance is the need for the manager to actually take that action once the interview is over!
We have taken a particular scenario for the above example but the principle for most types of confrontational situations remain the same. By adhering to the 5 Step Positive Cycle of asking questions; summarising; offering solutions; confirming which option is to be implemented; and finally acting on that option, the potential for a satisfactory outcome is greatly increased.
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In summary •
there are 5 steps to remember when handling the difficult customer ask; summarise; offer solutions; confirm; act.
•
there should be no direct face-to-face positioning of any of the participants except at the introductory stage
• it is important not to construct an environment that can be interpreted as being confrontational •
offer a range of alternative actions that can be taken to address the problem
•
ask the question, ‘What would you like me to do?‘
•
listen to the complainant’s suggestions and as far as is reasonable, incorporate them into any solution
•
remember to confirm the action to be taken at the end of the encounter
•
you must act on any decisions made and agreed upon, and take this action immediately.
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$ What if it doesnt work? Dealing with possible threat There will be instances where, in spite of the proper use of such techniques and the best efforts of those using them, the other person will simply not respond in the expected or appropriate manner. There is probably little, if anything, to be gained by attempting to engage in a meaningful conversation with a drunk and drug-crazed, knife-wielding skinhead who assaults you on a darkened street at 11 p.m. on a Saturday night!
The law and personal safety In the United Kingdom there is a presumption under Common Law that an individual has the right to defend himself against physical assault or the threat of physical assault. This would seem to be a pretty straightforward principle and entirely just and fair. The problems arise 59
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when it comes to considering the means by which any such defence is deployed, given the circumstances of a particular instance. The law allows us to use ‘reasonable force’ and, of course, there is no objective description of the meaning of that phrase (see pages 28 and 29). To demonstrate the problems that this brings about we need to look at a couple of examples.
Reasonable force You are walking down the street; it is crowded and there are a lot of people about doing their shopping, taking the air – everything is normal. Suddenly, someone bumps into you and you stumble a bit, maybe even fall over. It is not reasonable to get up, take hold of the person who bumped into you and proceed to punch him unconscious. This was simply an accident and while physical contact did take place during the initial ‘bumping’, this does not give the individual the right to commit a retaliatory strike on the ‘bumper’. By contrast, the woman who finds herself the victim of an intended sexual assault can justifiably defend herself with a considerable amount of force in the belief that her life is in danger. In such an instance, the woman may quite justifiably mount a physical defence that results in the death of her aggressor and still be found to have used ‘reasonable force’. I have taken two extreme examples here to try and explain the concept of reasonable force and there are, literally, hundreds of other circumstances that fall between these two extremes and consequently 60
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hundreds of other levels of reasonable force that could justifiably be deployed. The law is not consistent on such matters and there are well-documented cases that have come before the courts where extreme violence has been used in the cause of self-defence or the defence of others and has been accepted as reasonable force by the court. Equally, there have been cases where a much lesser level of violence has been used where the defendant has been found guilty of unreasonable use of force; it’s all a bit of a lottery. So, when can you use reasonable force? How do we consider the justification for the use of a physical response when under attack? Here are some of the guiding principles that should be considered. When physical response is determined to be the SAFER option. It may be that circumstances dictate that you have no other option but to intervene physically with an aggressor for your own safety or the safety of others. Such circumstances would include the unavailability of an escape route. Security impairment is just that; if your personal security comes under any kind of threat whatsoever, you should be thinking about the means that you will adopt to regain the control of the situation. The speed with which confrontational situations develop can mean that an attack may be in progress with little or no prior warning. In some instances this may be achieved simply by removing yourself from the vicinity of the threat (the flight response).
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This will always be the safest option provided that you are only responsible for yourself and that an escape route is available to you.
On other occasions, this may not be an option and so different strategies will have to be adopted (the fight response). A very obvious clue to the level of agitation being experienced by a possible aggressor is a tendency to repeat excessively his demands. If the aggressor’s immediate demands are not being met, for whatever reason, he will simply shut out all else from his mind and concentrate solely on trying to achieve his own goals, however unreasonable they may in fact be. If the situation you find yourself in has degenerated to a point where an attack is in progress, then the same principles will apply but they will have to be put into effect much more quickly, often with little or no time to take a reasoned and thought-out approach. In these circumstances, you will need to continuously revise your priorities – is an escape route available to you? Are there now other people in the vicinity? What physical means are available to you for your own defence? These and other priorities must be revised all the time.
Recognition Signs One means of identifying the possible onset of an assault is the recognition of the use of excessive repetitions of an intended action or statement of a position by the aggressor. This repetitive behaviour is your clearest warning of impending action and should be 62
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taken seriously. If an attack is unavoidable or under way, the best possible tactic to adopt is to flee. The one guiding principle, above all others is to avoid physical contact if at all possible; if you are not there, you cant get hurt. A physical response must be regarded as the response of last resort and used only when all other means of avoiding the confrontation have failed. The adoption of physical responses carries substantial risks. The opportunity to rationally determine which course of action is open to you and is likely to produce the best outcome will only be available to you for a very short period of time. If in doubt – flee.
In summary •
an individual has the right to defend himself against physical assault or the threat of physical assault
• the law only allows us to use ‘reasonable force’ • the Law is not consistent • the easiest way to avoid physical contact with an aggressor is not to be there! ‘Flee‘ is the first option
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% Conflict resolution
Having recognised that a potentially hazardous situation has developed or is in the process of developing, it is necessary to adopt the strategies and tactics that will allow a resolution of the situation with the minimum likelihood of harm coming to all parties. In any such situation there will be: • the offender who is the potential aggressor • the defender, the one against whom the attack is directed. An important factor to remember here is that the offensive and defensive parties may consist of more than one person. In any such situation there are three prime components to be considered: 1 2 3
profiled offender behaviour reasonable defender response impact factors. 65
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I will look at impact factors in Chapter 8.
Profiled offender behaviour Having studied a huge number of confrontational experiences, investigators have been able to analyse the components to predict, with a high degree of accuracy, certain types of behaviour that, when displayed by an offender, give clear signals that a physical attack is impending. For the safety of the defender in such situations, it is essential that these warning signals are recognised and interpreted correctly in order that the necessary defensive tactics can be adopted before the onset of any attack.
The warning signs of attack Compliance The first indication of a potential physical confrontation is the degree of compliance or non-compliance displayed by the offender. Remembering that the first contact is likely to come within ‘personal space’ (at a distance of between 60cm and 3m), it is important to maintain this distance and not allow an offender within your ‘Intimate Space’ (less than 60cm). In maintaining this distance, the defender will be better able to use his judgement to assess the degree of compliance being displayed by a potential aggressor.
Verbal resistance and gestures Is the other party promoting very strong verbal 66
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resistance to your reasoned argument? Do they appear to be agitated and gesticulating in a threatening manner? It is worthwhile pointing out that people from some cultures do, in the normal course of general conversation, use their hands and other body language to emphasise their verbal communications and not every gesture need be interpreted as being threatening. Care should be taken to ensure that such gestures are taken in context.
Passive resistance Passive resistance can be described as any form of noncompliance without the use of physical force. This may include the verbal refusal to accept a point of view or move from one position to another. While there is no physical interaction involved, it does indicate a hardening of attitude and may be an indicator that active resistance may follow.
Active resistance This can best be described as a middle form of resistance in that there is no longer any verbal compliance apparent in any exchange of communication but that such resistance has stopped short of an actual physical response. An example of this kind of behaviour would be the refusal of a person to leave the premises by resisting any effort to escort them outside. This type of behaviour is an immediate precursor to a more physical response and unless dealt with firmly 67
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and with authority is likely to lead to more aggressive resistance.
Aggressive/assaultive resistance The display of this type of behaviour is a clear indicator that all previous efforts to maintain control of the situation have failed. It is at this point that defensive strategies have to be put into immediate effect if the safety and security of the defender is to be maintained. Such behaviour will include pushing, shouting, raising of fists, threatening gestures and mock attacks.
Serious/aggravated resistance In this situation, the attack is in progress and all necessary defensive action should be taken to ensure the safety and security of the defender. This type of behaviour will include actual physical contact being made by the use of punches, kicks, attacks with weapons, accompanied by violent verbal abuse. You will have to adopt the strategies and tactics that will allow a resolution of the situation with the minimum likelihood of harm coming to all parties concerned. It is essential that warning signals are recognised and interpreted correctly. It can be clearly seen from this that there is a recognisable and escalating level of aggression displayed by offenders. So how do you deal with it?
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Reasonable defender response Common law allows for the use of force in response to certain types of violent or threatening behaviour or actions, providing that the use of such force can subsequently be proved to have been reasonable in the circumstances. We need to look more closely at the actions of the defender in any such situation to ensure that his actions can subsequently be seen to have been reasonable. There will always be some element of interpretation by the Courts in deciding whether such actions are, within the bounds of the law, justifiable.
Presence Bearing in mind that the prime objective is one of avoidance of confrontation, the question has to be asked, ‘Is it reasonable for the defender to have been present at the site of the confrontation?’ In the majority of cases the answer to this question is very likely to be ‘Yes’, particularly if the defender is present as part of his job or employment. An example of this could be a home visit by a social worker employed by a Local Authority to a client’s residence or a police officer calling on a person at home in the conduct of an inquiry. Clearly, in both instances, the people concerned have a reasonable right to be where they are and so their presence can be described as being reasonable. We have previously looked at tactical communications and their use and success in the maintenance of control in a 69
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given situation. The question in this case is whether a defender has used these or similar techniques prior to any aggressive or assaultive behaviour having been displayed. Provided a defender can demonstrate that he has used such communication tools and to have conducted himself in a reasonable manner with a view to reaching agreement by verbal means prior to physical contact, then such behaviour can be seen as being reasonable.
Primary control skills In the event that tactical communications have failed and that an assault is imminent, the defender is justified in taking such precautions for the maintenance of his own safety and the security of others as may be reasonable. These actions should always include, as the first option, retreat from the situation. The first principle in defensive tactics is that of avoidance of physical confrontation. Retreating from such a position is the surest way of achieving this objective.
There will, however, be situations where retreat is not a viable option or where retreat is not physically possible because the means of retreat are not present. In such cases, it will be necessary to deploy primary control skills that can include the fending off of slaps, punches and kicks and the use of control and restraint techniques to preclude any further assault.
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It is absolutely essential that such techniques are not undertaken without the benefit of prior training in their use and application, as to do so may cause harm to the defender.
Deadly force The use of reasonable force has been discussed at length. There may be occasions when such reasonable force does, unfortunately, result in the death of the aggressor, and the law is clear as to when deadly force may be used. An obvious example is the occasion when the police are faced with a situation involving someone armed with a firearm. On such occasions, the police have authority to use deadly force if they believe that the person with the firearm presents an immediate danger to human life. In practice, the police will always attempt to de-escalate such a situation and, if possible, to get the gunman to surrender thus precluding the need for such force. However, there are well-documented instances of deescalation techniques having failed and where it has been necessary, as a final resort, to use deadly force. Such instances are not limited solely to the police. It is a clearly established principle of law that, if a person under attack by an assailant firmly and truly believes that they are at risk of losing their life as a result of an assault, then they can reasonably use deadly force in their own protection. An example of this would be a situation in which a woman is the subject of an armed sexual assault during 71
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the course of which her assailant had issued a clear threat that he was going to kill his victim. In such a case, the woman could subsequently mount a justifiable defence for the use of deadly force if she defended herself in such a way as resulted in the death of her aggressor. Conversely, it would not amount to a credible defence of the use of deadly force to respond to an unarmed assault by responding with the use of a weapon, for example a knife. It is only when a clear and unmistakable threat to human life is present that the use of deadly force may be sanctioned.
In summary •
for the safety of the defender in confrontational situtations it is essential that warning signals are recognised and interpreted correctly
•
the first indication of a potential physical confrontation is the degree of compliance or noncompliance of the offender
•
have all methods of tactical communications been used? This will form a major part of any defence in a subsequent legal action.
•
there are differing levels of defensive action that can be taken, including deadly force.
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& Impact factors
In any confrontational situation we have established that certain physiological changes take place in preparing for a physical response. (The flight or flee reflex). There are also psychological changes that take place which affect our perceptions of what is actually happening at any given moment. All of these factors will have an impact in determining the chosen response of the defender in such a situation and we will now look as some of these in greater detail.
Sex/age/size/strength Quite rightly, there is a reluctance in the majority of people to indulge in major acts of violent behaviour. There are codes of conduct that preclude the use of physical violence by men towards women, against the use of force by the young against the old and the use of violence by the larger and stronger against the smaller and the weaker. 73
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While experience shows us that these principles are not adhered to by everyone, it is important for a defender in a potentially violent situation to make an assessment of these factors, an exercise which can be carried out very quickly, usually within one or two seconds. It is a simple fact of life that acts of violent behaviour are not restricted to use by men; women can exhibit extremes of behaviour given sufficient provocation, particularly when the subject of such provocation is family-related. In any confrontational situation between a male defender and a female aggressor, particular care must be taken in the use of any physical techniques because generally speaking, females require less physical pressure exerted on them than required with a male aggressor. This is by no means always the case and it is not possible to provide definitive advice on this aspect but nevertheless, it is a factor that has to be taken into account. Likewise, the age and size of an aggressor should be taken into consideration; a 20-year-old male, weighing 95kg and standing almost 2m tall can reasonably be considered stronger and a more problematic opponent than a 70-year-old granny!
Skill levels While a defender may well have a realistic view of his own skills and abilities in the use of confrontation and defence techniques, there will usually be no outward indication of the skill level of an aggressor. It may be the case that an aggressor is experienced in the use of violence and has previously been involved in a number of similar situations involving physical confrontation. 74
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Body language and the visual and audible clues described earlier in this book may give additional warning to a defender as to the probable skill level of an aggressor. There now arises a strange dichotomy. An aggressor usually displays aggressive behaviour when he perceives himself to be in a position of greater physical power than that of the defender. If, however, the defender has undertaken training in the use of confrontation management, de-escalation and defence techniques and, more importantly, has utter confidence in his ability to deploy these techniques, then the defender actually presents a much more powerful and confident appearance towards the aggressor. This appearance of confidence will be interpreted, albeit sub-consciously, by the aggressor and will inhibit his willingness to escalate a situation to a point where a physical response becomes unavoidable. The aggressor is in the position of a bully and the only way to deal with a bully is to stand up to him. In the majority of cases, the bully will back down or at least re-assess his own skills and capabilities when confronted with an assured and confident defender.
Exhaustion This is another factor that should be considered together with sex/age/size and strength. While normal physiological actions within our body will prepare us for the ‘fight or flee’ response, once a course of action has been determined and acted upon, it is necessary to consider the need to change tactics at any given point. 75
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If the initial response is to flee from the situation, then the energy used in this response is expended and not available should it be necessary to turn and fight. It is important to realise that these physical changes in body chemistry are comparatively short-lived, seldom lasting beyond a few minutes dependent upon individual physical make-up. Exhaustion will set in very quickly, usually within a few minutes, unless stamina training has been undertaken, such as that practised by professional boxers or other athletes. Accordingly, as defender you should recognise that in any such situation, whatever action is decided upon must be undertaken swiftly and completely before exhaustion levels reach a critical point where neither the flee or the fight option remain viable. Physical techniques should be kept as simple as possible so that energy levels are conserved.
Injury For obvious reasons, a defender who is already carrying some kind of injury needs to consider the extent to which such an injury will affect his ability to defend himself. It is by no means the case that an injury precludes a defence being mounted although the nature and extent of the injury may limit the effectiveness of specific techniques. Likewise, a defender should take note of any visible signs of injury in the aggressor, for example a bandaged hand or a pronounced limp.
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Numbers A defender must always be aware that there may be more than one aggressor. If a situation develops where a defender comes under attack from more than one aggressor then the entire pre-assault strategy can be said to have failed. If the potential for a multiple attack is detected early on in the communication phase, then the defender should have no hesitation in initiating a retreat strategy at the earliest possible opportunity. Multiple attacks are difficult to deal with, even by those highly trained and skilled in such matters. Remember that the primary objective is the safety of the defender so if in doubt – retreat immediately.
Special knowledge By preparing and training in dealing with confrontational situations, the defender can assimilate a level of special knowledge that will provide him with a distinct advantage over the aggressor. The defender should also anticipate that an aggressor might also be in possession of similar special knowledge, particularly if they are already experienced in assaultive behaviour.
Drugs and alcohol It is assumed for the purpose of this exercise that the defender will not be under the influence of alcohol or any narcotic drug. It is, however, entirely possible that the aggressor may be under influence of one or both of these and that 77
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this will have a noticeable effect on his actions and reactions. Drunken or drugged behaviour can be identified by slurred speech, unsteadiness of gait, agitated movements, small pupils (eyes), inability to concentrate, abusive language, ineffective body movements. There are differing opinions on how drugs and alcohol affect the actions and reactions of an aggressor. One view suggests that the effects of drugs and alcohol slow down the reaction time of the aggressor, giving a defender a clear advantage. Another view suggests that any such slowing of reactions are accompanied by an increase in physical strength of an aggressor. The general advice is that a defender should be able to recognise whether an aggressor is under the influence of either drugs or alcohol and to take this into account when deciding which defensive strategy to deploy. Generally, it can be said that those under the influence of alcohol tend to have a mentally higher opinion of their own physical capabilities than is usually the case in practice. This is not the case in every instance, particularly where the aggressor is under the influence of drugs.
Mental impairment Since the changes in social policy that were enacted by the UK Government during the 1980s, some of those who have previously been held in secure accommodation because of their mental condition have been reintegrated into the community, often without adequate supervision.
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Many of these people have reacted well and are able to maintain themselves, their homes and their jobs but in many cases this relies on them taking prescribed medicines to control their condition. Without adequate supervision, some of these people can forget or simply forego their medication which can lead to a re-emergence of their condition. There are a number of high-profile, well-documented cases of assaults being carried out by those with severe mental conditions. It should be recognised that in such cases, unlike those involving drugs and alcohol, those suffering from severe mental conditions are able to exert a greater level of physical strength than might be expected from their size, age and gender. Without specialist training, the potential for confusing an aggressor with a mental condition with one under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol is high.
Weapons It is an increasing feature of assaults for the aggressor to be in possession of some kind of weapon. In this context a weapon can be anything from a firearm to a coin or a pen. Any implement that can be used to cause an injury, however slight, can be termed as a weapon. The disarming of an aggressor who is in possession of a weapon requires specialised training and should not be undertaken by anyone who has not received such training. 79
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Even seemingly ineffective weapons can cause massive injury, for example a pen can be used as a stabbing weapon to the eye. The carrying of weapons about the person in the United Kingdom is an offence even if such weapons are carried for defensive purposes. However, the use of a weapon by a defender during the course of an assault is allowed by law, in particular if a weapon is being deployed by the aggressor or the defender believes that he is at immediate danger of losing his life. The use of reasonable force, including the use of force by the deployment of a weapon, is a question that can only be addressed by the courts. Their interpretation of the law in each case will turn on the exact circumstances at the time of the assault. The decision to make use of a weapon in the protection of your own life is one that has to made at the time and will be a matter of individual choice. The defender should be aware that they will have to provide a credible defence before the courts for their justification in using such a weapon.
Imminent danger Under certain circumstances, a pre-emptive defence in which a defender initiates a defensive physical technique prior to an attack by an aggressor can amount to a legal defence of the use of reasonable force. In any such case the defender has to be prepared to justify his actions by providing the necessary proof that he believed that he was in imminent danger.
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That is, that had he not mounted a pre-emptive defence, the aggressor would have mounted an assault that the defender believed would have resulted in serious injury to himself or others. An example of this might be a situation where a defender was confronted with a potential aggressor who was visibly armed with a knife. Under such circumstances, particularly if the aggressor had previously expressed verbally his preparedness to use the knife against the defender, the defender might justifiably believe that he was in imminent danger of suffering a serious or fatal stab wound. Under such circumstances, he would be entitled to mount a pre-emptive defence technique to deter such an attack.
Position of disadvantage The need for awareness during confrontational situations has already been mentioned. This includes an awareness of the defender’s surroundings and environment. A defender should, at all times, take care not to allow himself to be manoeuvred into a position of disadvantage, that is, a position from which he has no direct means of retreat or escape. In such instances, the aggressor gains an advantage which may be the determining factor in his decision to press home with a physical assault. The absence of a means of retreat or suitable escape route puts the defender at a distinct disadvantage.
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Willingness to resist The willingness of a defender to resist an assault can be summarised by taking all of the above factors into account and adding to the equation the personality of the individual. Those who come under the threat of aggression can respond in a number of ways, not necessarily the way in which might be expected, even by themselves. It is all very well to practice the defence techniques and strategies and to rehearse in one’s mind what one might do in an actual situation but until that situation actually happens, the response remains theoretical. Those who might be expected to be the biggest and strongest and therefore, the most courageous may well freeze entirely in such a situation while others may immediately decide that they will resist an assault with all the power and strength that they possess. Mental conditioning plays a large part in determining a personal level of willingness to resist in such circumstances but inevitably, the final decision will lie with the individual at the time of the actual assault.
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In summary • there are a number of factors that need to be taken into consideration when determining whether or not to actively resist an assault • there is very little time to assess these factors • the possibility of having to legally justify defensive actions should impact on what the defender considers ‘reasonable force‘ • always try and maintain an escape route.
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' Options
Let us now look at some of the options that may be available to a defender that can help him formulate a defensive strategy.
Create space between defender and aggressor The primary objective in any confrontational situation where there is the potential for physical contact with an aggressor is the safety of the defender. Safety can be maintained by not coming into close physical contact with the aggressor and this is achieved by creating and maintaining space between the two parties. A minimum distance of 2m should be maintained at all times if possible. From this distance, the defender should have a good overall view of the aggressor from head to toe and will be able to see any threatening movements. 85
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A distance of two metres gives sufficient time to react to any such threatening movements, either by retreating or by adopting a defensive stance in readiness to fend off an assault. While the surroundings and environment may preclude the maintenance of a distance of two metres, under no circumstances should the distance be allowed to reach less than one metre.
Issue verbal commands The use of verbal commands may or may not work in persuading the aggressor not to continue with a threatened assault. However, they must be used if time allows for the following reasons: •
such commands may have the desired effect
•
they act as a warning to the aggressor.
The issuing of verbal commands must be carried out with authority. They should always be spoken in a strong voice and state clearly the requirements and intentions of the defender but should not contain any threats, particularly threats of physical violence. The command, Stop there, do not come any closer, is acceptable. The command, Come any closer and Ill rip your head off, is not acceptable.
Stance: move to establish control We have now reached the point where, in spite of all efforts to avoid physical contact, the defender is in no 86
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doubt that a physical encounter is going to take place, probably within the next few seconds. It is imperative that the defender now prepares himself for physical contact and here his stance is all-important. If possible, the defender should continue with every attempt to maintain minimum safe distance (two metres) from the aggressor although this may not always be possible. A defensive stance should be adopted by placing the left foot in front of the right foot with a horizontal distance of about 50cm, keeping the knees slightly bent and angling the body in such a way as to present a minimum profile to the aggressor. At this point the defender should move the left hand and arm in front of the body and extend the hand, in an open position, to a point about chest height and a distance of 40cm from the body. The right hand and lower forearm should be brought close to the body giving protection from a blow or strike. The backs of both hands should be facing the aggressor and both hands should be kept open and not bunched into fists.
Warning signals Impending assault within 5 to 8 seconds.
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In preparing for the assault, the aggressor will be looking for points of weakness that he will use as the first points of attack. This will not take very long, just a few seconds but during that time they will send certain warning signals of their intentions, some of which are listed below:
Prolonged eye contact In this phase, the aggressor will attempt to ‘stare down‘ the defender by looking directly into the eyes. It is essential that the defender meets this stare without any outward signs of fear or apprehension. If the defender fails to maintain direct eye contact, the aggressor achieves a psychological advantage that will be almost impossible for the defender to overcome.
Facial colour changes The defender will notice a very definite change of colour in the face of the aggressor. One of the physiological changes that the aggressor is undergoing at this stage is the infusion of blood to the blood vessels close to the surface of the skin in order to cool it. It also acts as a warning signal to others that the individual is under extreme pressure. NB this reddening only takes place in the warning signal stage.
Standing tall with head back In common with many animals, an aggressor will attempt to intimidate his victim by presenting a large and imposing profile. This is generally achieved by standing erect with the head held high and slightly back. The principle is the same as that used by 88
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butterflies (by the extension of their wings) and elephants (by the extension of their ears).
Large extravagant movements As a further means of intimidation, the aggressor may use large exaggerated movements, particularly of the hands and arms. It is, however, important to remember that such movements are an accepted means of communication in some cultures and do not necessarily indicate aggressive or violent intent on every occasion. Care should be exercised in evaluating this type of behaviour.
Ground kicking Again, this action is reminiscent of that used by some animals in signalling aggression, in this case most notably bulls and horses. When displayed by an aggressor it is usually as an unconscious act and will be accompanied by one or more of the other indicators detailed above.
Accelerated breathing rate As a result of the physiological changes that the aggressor is undergoing during these stages, his breathing rate will increase and become quite shallow. Whether or not this is discernible will be dependent on the distance between the aggressor and the intended victim. Remember: maintain a safe distance of two metres as far as is practically possible. However, even at that distance, accelerated breathing should be easy to identify.
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Contradiction of stated intent Although not invariably present on every occasion, it is sometimes the case that the aggressor will state his intention to carry out one action but will be seen to carry out another action opposed to that which has been stated. An example could be a stated intent to withdraw from a location together with a verbalisation of non-aggressive intent. The accompanying action may indicate otherwise. Remember – when sight and sound contradict each other, always believe what you see, not what you hear.
In summary •
remember to keep assessing the options and revising the strategy
•
the dynamics of the situation are likely to alter extremely quickly from now on – be ready to adapt
•
keep on attempting to maintain authority by the use of verbal commands and gestures
•
do not threaten the aggressor
•
move to establish a safe position and assume defensive posture
•
be ready to accept the fact that tactical communications may fail and cannot be guaranteed to work on every occasion
•
when communications break down, expect to
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observe warning signs displayed by aggressor • carry out continuous reassessment of situation and adjust strategy accordingly • move to maintain safe distance of a minimum of two metres where possible.
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10 Danger signs possible assault imminent In Chapter 9 we looked at some of the warning signs that are sometimes exhibited by aggressors that, if properly recognised and acted upon, will allow a defender to assess the risk level and to construct his defensive strategy accordingly. It is important to recognise that not all the warning signs may be apparent at any given time. We are all individuals and as such the signals that we give off under stress conditions can differ greatly. That is why it is crucial that during the communication stage and the warning signal stage, constant reassessment is undertaken based on all the available information. In this chapter I will look at the danger signs which indicate that all previous strategies have failed and that physical contact with an aggressor is imminent. While it is not necessarily the case that physical contact has yet taken place, this phase can be described as: Assault in progress 93
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Physical contact is now likely to occur almost immediately and will be signalled by one or more of the following signs.
Fist clenching If a defender is to be in a position to identify this sign, it is important to remember the safe distance rule – maintain a distance of no less than two metres at all times if possible. This will allow a defender a good overall view of the aggressor, including hands held at waist level or below. Fists may be seen to be being clenched and loosened and the knuckles may appear to be white due to pressure of exertion and stress.
Facial colour pales During the warning phase, the aggressor’s face may be seen to redden quite noticeably. However, during the ‘danger‘ phase, the face will be seen to pale very quickly and become almost white. This is a physiological reaction over which the aggressor has no control and is a certain warning sign that the aggressor intends to commit to physical action within three seconds. Defender’s should extend safe distance to two metres plus if possible.
Lips tighten over teeth Once again, this is an entirely physiological reaction and involuntary on the part of the aggressor. It has the dual function of being intimidating by displaying the aggressors’ teeth and protecting the surface blood vessels in the lips of the aggressor.
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Danger signs possible attack imminent
Eyebrows drop and chin drops This is an involuntary action again on the part of the aggressor but indicates reactive protective measures being taken to guard vulnerable points of the body against injury. The eyebrows drop to protect the eyes and surrounding areas and the chin drops to protect the throat and neck.
Hands above waist Hands are being brought into attack/defence position, usually in front of the torso and possibly as high as the upper chest/lower head area. At this point, the defender should take up a positive defensive stance and prepare for immediate physical contact within two or three seconds.
Shoulders tense An involuntary action by the aggressor to protect the neck area from injury. This may be accompanied by a change in stance such as the dropping of one shoulder, moving to present a reduced profile, a movement of hands to fighting position. Generally observed in conjunction with bending of the knees to lower body posture. The defender must move to maintain safe distance of two metres or more if possible and maintain eye contact with aggressor at all times.
Stance During the warning phase, the aggressor will have been observed as making himself appear to be taller and larger as an act of intimidation. In the danger phase, the requirement is the total opposite with the imperative being to make the body appear smaller, 95
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thus presenting a smaller target. This is achieved by: •
presenting the body in profile by taking either a step forward (most likely) or a step back (less likely).
•
lowering of the body by the bending of the knees.
•
Tensing or hunching of the shoulders and lowering the head area into the neck for protection.
The aggressor is now committed both mentally and physically to action and contact will inevitably take place within two or three seconds at the most.
Target acquisition glance The final identifiable signal observed immediately preceding physical contact. This is the unconscious act of checking direction and distance of intended target area for attack, that the aggressor’s own defensive systems are in place and will be signalled as the first blow is being struck.
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In summary • things are moving very quickly now •
you will have little time to react so have your strategy worked out beforehand
• the signs are there – you just have to be able to recognise them • try to remain calm – you know what is happening so you can stay in control • maintain that safe distance of two metres.
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11 Practicalities
So, you have tried your tactical communications skills and they have failed – not your fault, just that the other person was not responsive. You watched as the process deteriorated to the point where you recognised that it was unlikely that you would be able to resolve this situation by appealing to the other person’s better nature, as he became increasingly aggressive. You reassessed the situation and considered the risk to your personal safety and security, the risk to others for whom you may have responsibility and, not least, the safety and security of the aggressor. You have considered the options for withdrawal from the situation but, on balance, have decided that you must remain with the aggressor and deal with the situation as it develops. The aggressor has become increasingly agitated and displayed some of the warning signs that you recognise as being the precursors to a physical assault. 99
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In response to these signals, you have moved to maintain a safe distance between yourself and the aggressor (and anybody else who might be in the vicinity). All your best efforts to resolve the situation have been attempted but you recognise that they have had no effect and that the aggressor is now bent on physical assault. The time has now come for you to act positively in the protection of your own safety and security. The very first thing you need to do now is to:
Look Where are you? Where is the aggressor? Where are your exit points? Is there anybody who can assist you? Is there more than one aggressor? Is there anybody else at risk? As you can see, there is quite a lot to do here. All these points will have to be addressed in something less than one second. At this point, you commit yourself both mentally and physically to deal with whatever the aggressor decides as their next action. While it may appear that your options are highly limited under these circumstances, there is a range of responses still open to you.
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It is reasonable to respond with a pre-emptive strike if you believe that you are in immediate danger of being the victim of an assault. The means by which you deliver this pre-emptive strike is by the use of extreme pain technique. I now come to what could be described as the most controversial aspect of self-defence strategy and the subject that can, for some people, be the greatest hurdle to their achieving that strategy. Let us start by looking at what happens when extreme pain is inflicted. The type of pain inflicted on the aggressor can be likened to a level of pain that we have all experienced at least once in our lives. It is that body-stopping pain that you feel when you have slammed your fingers in a car door!
If you have managed to avoid that experience so far in your life, it can be likened to the pain felt when you hit your thumb with a hammer. This is the type of totally numbing pain that renders the body incapable of any type of activity for a number of seconds. It is those vital seconds of inactivity that will be exploited by the defender to take control of the situation, either by controlling and restraining the aggressor or by escaping to a place of safety. This pain can be directed to a number of vulnerable points on the aggressor’s body, depending on which of those points present themselves as the best possible 101
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opportunity for having the desired effect. For example, there are a number of effective strike points around the upper torso and neck area. However, if the aggressor is substantially taller than the defender, these points may well be out of effective reach. Accordingly, the defender would achieve a better result by striking at a lower point within his reach, say the lower rib area. It is not possible in this book to give a definitive explanation of strike points for each individual. Physical techniques are very much a question of personal preference and of ‘trial and error‘ practised under controlled conditions. There is no single technique that will work for everyone under all conditions. The need to adapt and to be flexible in the selection of a technique will determine its effectiveness under real-life conditions.
For details of training in physical techniques at a practical level, see the Appendix, which also provides contact details of qualified trainers throughout the United Kingdom together with other reference material.
In summary •
any self-defence technique must be effective and safe to execute
• the technique must be easy to learn and remember 102
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• any technique must be capable of being used in a ‘small v large’ situation • any technique must be capable of being used in a ‘male v female’ situation • any technique must be capable of being used by persons no longer in the peak of physical fitness! • there are rules governing the use of self-defence that must be adhered to in order to avoid subsequent problems with the law • it is essential to continuously reassess the situation as it keeps developing • the defender must maintain the ability to adapt quickly to changing circumstances • there is no single strategy or technique that will work for everyone – you must make up your own strategy and decide on your own course of action • to achieve the objective of maintaining your own safety and security, you are going to have to use an extreme level of pain on the aggressor to deter any continuation of an assault.
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What next?
In this book, I have looked at ways of dealing with the problems of increased aggression and violence, not only in the workplace but elsewhere. I have looked at how to be aware of certain risk situations and how these might be avoided, thus lessening the potential for being involved in such incidents. In recognition of the fact that not all such situations can be avoided, particularly in the working environment, I have looked at some of the ways by which communication skills can be used to take the ‘heat‘ out of a situation. This does not mean that we have to give in to aggression but by the use of such skills as the interpretation of body language, listening, empathy and appropriate responses, a compromise can often be reached without resorting to physical action. We have also seen that, unfortunate as it might be, there is within society a faction whose first resort to the settlement of an argument is by way of aggressive and sometimes violent action. In coming into contact with such people, the option for peaceful 105
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resolution may not be present and physical intervention may have to be used as a means of last resort. I cannot emphasise strongly enough, as I have done throughout this book, that if the opportunity to escape a confrontational situation exists, then this should be the first ‘weapon‘ in your personal safety and security strategy. Remember if you are not there, you cant get hurt!
However, I recognise that escape will not always be either available or, in some cases, advisable. Then, and only then, should physical intervention be considered. There is a lot to think about and in practice, you may have little or no time to make carefully considered decisions. It is for this reason that it is important to have a strategy worked out beforehand so that you will at least have some idea as to how you are going to deal with these situations if and when they arise. While I have discussed some of the theoretical aspects of physical intervention, this book is not intended as a guide to the use of physical techniques. It is my belief that while theoretical discussions have their uses, physical techniques can only be properly understood by practical learning. By definition, such intervention techniques require the use of physical movement and can only be taught within a practical physical environment. No one ever became a ballroom dancing champion by reading a book; nor achieved an Olympic Gold Medal by reading a book; nor ever painted a masterpiece by reading a book. 106
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What next?
So, your next step is to put into practice the lessons contained in this book. I would suggest that you adopt the following tactics in the first instance: • carry out your own risk assessment of the dangers you face of aggression and/or violence in your own workplace • do the same thing for your home and leisure activities • what can you do to minimise any potential risks? •
of those unavoidable risks that are left, which present the greatest level of apprehension in you personally?
• in your work environment, how can your employer help in minimising these risks? (Is your employer even aware that such risks exist?) • do your colleagues share your assessment of these risks? • does your employer have a training programme in place to deal with aggressive and violent behaviour – if not, why not? • develop your personal safety and security strategy based on your individual needs • review your strategy at regular intervals • does your personal safety and security strategy include the decision to use physical techniques if you come under threat of aggressive and/or violent behaviour? 107
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•
if you have decided to include physical responses in your strategy, seek out a professionally qualified organisation to provide you with training
•
do not accept training that is not specific to your individual needs. Training should be suited to your requirements.
And finally
With any luck at all, you may never have to face the prospect of a physical challenge with an aggressor. The majority of confrontational situations are successfully dealt with by the use of superior communications skills and simple common sense. There are those who have questioned the wisdom of learning physical skills and who say that this is more likely to lead to the need for physical intervention. I would counter that argument as follows: When you go to work in the morning, you fully expect to arrive back home to find your house in the same state as when you left it. However, if I were to say to you that a 747 Jumbo Jet had fallen out of the sky and landed nose first through your roof, you might be somewhat sceptical. If I said to you that a 10m trailer had come adrift from its trailer unit and was now embedded in your living room, you may also be sceptical but to a lesser degree depending on how far you live from a main road. If I were to tell you that your house is still there but now in a 20m hole caused by a massive subsidence, you may believe that or not, dependent on how much you can remember of your original purchase survey.
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And if I were to tell you that while you had been at work, you had been burgled, you may well believe me without hesitation. Now, the fact is that with the exception of the last item in this list, none of the above incidents are statistically likely to happen. And if they are going to happen to you, then why should you care – you have adequate house and contents insurance to cover any loss. Now, if most of the things on the list above are never actually going to happen to you, why on earth do you spend hundreds of pounds a year in insurance premiums against them happening? The fact is that you insure against these things, just on the off-chance that they may happen to you, however statistically unlikely that may be. And the same goes for learning physical intervention techniques. Statistically, you may never have to use them. However, if the occasion ever does arise where your personal safety and security, or that of someone for whom you are responsible, comes under threat, doesn’t it make sense to have the necessary ‘insurance‘ cover to minimise the potential damage? Your ‘insurance‘ in this case, is the knowledge of intervention techniques, your own personal strategy and the confidence in your ability to exercise both. Stay safe!
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Appendix
This Appendix contains a quick reference guide to various sources of additional information that you will find useful in developing your personal safety and security strategy.
Useful web sites www.hse.gov.uk/pubns/violindex.htm The web site of the Health and Safety Executive. Lots of information about violence in the workplace and a good source of risk assessment documentation. Research data and useful links to other sites. www.doh.gov.uk/zero.htm www.doh.gov.uk/violencetaskforce/index.htm The web site of the Department of Health. Especially recommended is a visit to the Violence Task Force page. If you follow the recommendations here you will keep 111
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yourself out of trouble with the law both on responsibilities to employees and self defence. www.conflictmanagement.org.uk The web site of the Institute of Conflict Management (ICM). This body is recognised by the Health & Safety Executive as setting the standards of training in conflict management. (The author is a graduate of the ICM.) www.rcn.org.uk The web site of the Royal College of Nursing. A must for those employed in the health care sector, both private and public sectors. www.fastresponsesystems.com For technical solutions to lone worker safety and security and training packages. Training is carried out nationally by a team of highly trained and qualified instructors, certificated by the Institute of Conflict Management. www.gjkworldwide.co.uk The author’s company web site.
Further reading Tracey Budd, Violence at Work Home Office Publications, 1999.
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Appendix
Other Easy Step by Step Guides in the series include: Telemarketing, Cold Calling & Appointment Making Marketing Successful Selling Stress & Time Management Motivating your Staff Recruiting the Right Staff Better Budgeting for your Business Building a Positive Media Profile Writing Articles and Newsletters Writing Advertising Copy Managing Change
All the above guides are available direct from: Rowmark Limited Unit 36 Broadmarsh Business & Innovation Centre Harts Farm Way Havant Hampshire PO9 1HS Telephone: 023 9244 9665 Fax: 023 9244 9601 Email:
[email protected] Or via our web site www.rowmark.co.uk
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