Everything out of her Mouth is a test A Mans guide to satisfying the emotional needs of women

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EVERYTHING OUT OF HER MOUTH IS A TEST: A Man's Guide To Satisfying The Emotional Needs Of Women By Frank B. (Because-I-Have-To-Be) Kermit

© Frank Because-I-Have-To-Be Kermit 2006

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Legal Page This book is copyright protected. Whenever possible, the original authors and sources have been credited. In the event a reader acquires this book illegally, and w i s h e s to offer a r e a s o n a b l e d o n a t i o n to say t h a n k s for the information; you may make a paypal payment through my website of www.franktalks.com.

Donations keep endeavors like this book and others like it coming and also go to support my efforts in making the world a better place through education to help people lead more interesting and fulfilling lives. Those found blatantly infringing on the copyright of this book without regard to the remedies specified here in; will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

Copyright 2006 by Frank, Because I Have to Be, Kermit

All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without written permission form Frank, Because I Have to Be, Kermit. Website: www.franktalks.com ISBN

978-0-9783694-3-9

Now that we got that out of the way.... Onward!

3 Who should read this book?

This book is for that guy who became "friends first" with a girl in the HOPES that she would eventually like him e n o u g h to date him, but only ended up listening to her problems where she complains to him on the phone at 3 am about the jerks that she's currently fucking. This book is for all those guys that too many times have heard: "It's not that I want to hurt your feelings, I just think we'd be better as friends" "But you're such a nice guy" "I wish that I could be with a guy Just Like You" (but not actually YOU) "I really love the (3%) Kermit element in him" (When you happen to be 100% Kermit) "I have a boyfriend" (When you know they don't) "I have husband" (When you know they cheated in the past) "Why ruin our friendship by going out?" "Let's be friends first, and then we can see" "Let's wait, and let it happen naturally."(Means she chooses if it ever happens) "Well, there is this other guy I am really interested in right now, and he might ask me out one day" "I am just not attracted to you" "You're too handsome" (Women want to be the pretty one, they loathe competition for attention) "You're too fat or short or tall or skinny or bald or old or young or poor...." (Funny, no woman has ever seemed to mind if the guy is too rich) The book is written, in a harsh, crude, sometimes cruel manner that appears chauvinistic and unkind... In other words, it is written in a way that men will be able to relate to and understand. It is in their gym talk, chest-beating language. Whether people like it or not, there is just something primal that men respond to when strong language is

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used. If you are a woman, this book will offend you. If you are a man with delicate sensibilities, this book will hopefully throttle you into a more masculine frame of mind. This book is not for men who are considered minors or underage. For example, the law in Canada states that a boy as young as 17 may, under most conditions, engage in sexual intercourse with an adult aged woman. However, that same boy who is also legally old enough to drive is not yet old enough to drink alcohol, vote or watch pornography. Whatever area you live in, if you are not considered to be a full adult, with ALL the rights, titles, interests, privileges, and responsibilities that go with being an adult, put this book down and WALKAWAY. Chances are, your environment has also pushed you into an even more I M M A T U R E mentality than is legally required of you, and you just will not be able to fully appreciate this book's teachings, and your lack of life experience will just make it more difficult to understand how intricate human relations between men and women can be. This is not even a book for men, who naturally do well with women. This is my philosophy on how to understand women which took me from being a loser, into a seducer-in-training. If you already are great with women, then you will be bored by this book. If you are a nice guy, an adult male virgin, a single guy that can not connect with a w o m a n , or a divorced guy (or guy that got dumped) that wants one more chance to make it happen right, then this book was written for you. If you grew up and were taught to be a self hating male, really putting women up on a pedestal, and coming to realize that this is not working for you after all, then this book was written for you.

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If you are such a nice loser guy, and you are ready to change but do not know where to start, then this book is for you. If you come from a place of real pain when it comes to women, and you want to move into a place on the other side of the canyon of pain, where you can be safe and in control of your destiny, then this book is for you. If you are a divorced man and you are contemplating suicide or going through a depression, then this book is for you. Also, please get counseling. I hope this book proves you have way too much to live for. Love is not your enemy .... but suicide is. Do not be a traitor. If you are a woman and want the man in your life to be able to better understand you, because the survival of your relationship depends on it, and you plan to buy this book for him as a gift, this book is for you. If you are a wife and you and your husband truly do love each other, but just can not seem to stop fighting and are desperately trying to save your marriage from the brink of divorce and plan to give it to him so that you can reconnect, then this book was written for you. If you were totally, madly, and deeply in love with a woman, and at some point, the relationship ended because she lost her attraction to you, and you don't know exactly w h y but w a n t to find out, and you are willing to do whatever it takes to get her back; (I have been there, and I have done EXACTLY that after 7 Years apart!), then this book was written for you. If you want a solid belief system from a guy that actually uses what he teaches, then this book was written for you.

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Introduction by Clifford

It gives me great pleasure to sit here and write out the introduction to Frank's book for a number of reasons. Firstly, I have known Frank for many years now and I have watched him go through a number of ups and downs, and through it all I have seen him change and improve himself continually. Others might have given up after some of the experiences he has been through, but he persevered and you are about to read the results. Frank in many ways reminded me of myself - I also have had difficulties to overcome and, while I still have some that I continue to work on, seeing others triumph is very inspiring. W h e n I first met him, he was in the throes of a five year drought in terms of having any sex with a woman. The frustration was evident, and his desire to change his life was clear. We have continued to stay in touch over the last few years where Frank succeeded in not only ending his drought but in becoming one of the most knowledgeable guys around when it comes to dealing with women. He has gained and learned from his hard life experiences and has been extremely generous in sharing his knowledge and advice with many guys that we know in common. Some of these guys confided to me that the help Frank e x t e n d e d to t h e m literally c h a n g e d their lives, and they wouldn't know what they would be doing had he not come around. Frank's personal journey has brought him through some heart wrenching relationships and "almost-relationships", family tragedies (including deaths of some immediate members of his family), and I have seen him make great personal sacrifices for his family and friends.

In the summer of 2006, I put on a major event which featured guest speakers from all over the globe who are the world's greatest pick up artists, ladies men, seducers, and dating experts. This was the second event I hosted, as the one from 2005 having been a huge success. At this 2006 event, known as the Cliffs List Convention, Frank was interviewed and filmed for the DVD product released for 2007. Frank's interview shows him as one pimpin' dude! Relaxed, confident, blinged out to the max, Frank explains how every accessory he wears holds a special story, designed to entertain, entrance and enthrall anyone who steps into his realm and wonders about his detailed personal presentation which includes a necklace with a handcuff. It is clear he's a man who has been through a lot and who has come through it smiling and on top of his challenges. We are sure that people will be talking about Frank after viewing the Cliffs List Convention 2006 DVDs For those of you who are reading this introduction, seeing Frank and hearing him speak in this interview may give life to what you are about to read in his books. If you are lucky enough to make a friend in your life like Frank, hang on to him and try to return at least a fraction of his kindness and generosity. The wisdom you will find in this book was hard earned, and hopefully it will save a few of you reading this from your own challenges and help resolve some of your personal difficulties. It's a real honor to be a part of Frank's world. Clifford www.cliffslist.com

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Dedication Page This book is dedicated to: Paul Ivan Labelle

He was a teacher in the field of media communications with some unorthodox teaching methods. His ability was to allow students to learn what they were passionate about, at a student's own pace. It inspired so many of his students to do more than was ever expected of them by the curriculum... and to do more for ourselves than we ever expected from us. You are still an inspiration to me.

9 Acknowledgements And may I say thank you to... To my many mentors, clients, colleagues, and bras for your encouragement of this book. T o ' Lucky' Lee, The Montreal Maverick, and David Dekel To my women readers of From Loser to Seducer for their open-minded interpretations. To my boys in Montreal... you know who you are. To my boys in Toronto ...you know who you are too. To my extended family of seducers-in-training all around the world whom I have helped, and who continue to challenge me. To all the girls I loved before, still love, and going to love in the future. And especially, to the women of my harems. . .who taught me more about women's emotional needs than I could have learned from any other source.

Table

of

Contents

Legal Page Who should read this book? Introduction by Clifford of Cliffslist.com Dedication Page Acknowledgements Table of Contents Introduction Frank Introduction Chapter 1 - The Things to keep in mind Introduction 1-Philosophy of Truth in Theories 2-Conscious and Sub-Conscious Mind 3-How to Never Take a Test 4-Three Levels of Communications 5-Men and Women are Different Biologically Multiple Levels of Emotion

Theory

02 03 06 08 09 10 17 17 20 21 22 23 21 26 30 31 33

Chapter 2 - The Frank B Kermit Theories

38

Introduction

39

Definition of Test

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What is exactly is an Emotional Need

41

Mother vs. Lover

46

Theory

Mother vs. Lover Chart

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Isn't this just approval seeking?

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What men need to understand

51

The role of Emotional Needs in Her Tests

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A woman's reality: a glimpse

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Why do women ALWAYS test men?

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Chapter 3 - 1 0 E m o t i o n a l Needs o f W o m e n 5 6

Introduction

57

The 10 Emotional Needs of a W o m a n

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1. Protection of Her Reputation The power of "Its None of Your Business" When claiming you did not have sex with her The scary thing: Protecting YOUR reputation That is why you must fuck her How failing this test makes her your mother How passing makes her your special lover

62 65 66 67 68 68 69

2. FEEEEL an Emotional Range Definition of Drama Men. Women and the Emotion of ANGER The Value of Humor: the Jokes on Us Self-Deprecating Humor The Proper Way to use Humor The Real Adventure: Its inside her It starts with your own emotions That is why you MUST fuck her How failing this test makes her your mother How passing makes her your special lover

70 72 72 73 76 77 78 79 80 81 81

3. Cater to the Little Girl Inside Her Giving her Tough Love How to Address the Child in Yourself NEVER MIX ADDRESSING THIS EMOTIONAL NEED WITH That is why you MUST fuck her How failing this test makes her your mother How passing makes her your special lover

82 85 85 SEX

87 88 88 89

4. Dominance in taking 100% of the Lead Dominance Dominance is Being a Challenge Dominance is all about LEADERSHIP

90 90 92 92

Dominance is NOT about being a Bully Things Women Use With Testing for Dominance

93 94

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Men. Emotions and Dominance Feel the Emotion. Control the Behavior So Gender Does Matter After all? Leadership is about the man taking responsibility or for some men it perhaps means "Control" Management of Relationships: Know who you are Male Dominance and Feminism Sex and Dominance Sex is the Man's Fault When it's Time to Fuck Her. A Man MUST Fuck Her Maintaining Dominance in Sex Why Men Like Easy Women Why Men Like Exceptionally Very Beautiful Women How to be Dominant when She is More Sexually Experienced Than You Sex and Responsibility Women and Sexual Innuendo Sex and Responsibility - Untold Stories Sperm Bank Donations Abortions. Birth Control and STDs The Story of the STD Girl Sex and Sexual Skills Why Some Guvs Can't Keep It Up The Pressure of Performance Anxiety So what counts as "sex"? That is why you MUST fuck her How failing this test makes her your mother How passing makes her your special lover

95 95 96

97 98 99 100 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 106 107 108 108 111 113 114 114 115 118 119 120

5. Fear of Abandonment How important is this one? Last Minute Hesitations Making Her Feel Unique Compliments Flirting

121 121 121 122 123 122

Telling Her to Leave

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Fear of PREGNANCY 125 Abandonment: Short term flings and one night stands

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Big Test: When she tells you she thinks she can not have kids Feeling Beautiful and Desirable The Sabotage That is why you MUST fuck her How failing this test makes her your mother How passing makes her your special lover 6. Her Trust in Your HONESTY On Congruence Relationships and Honesty Frank B Kermit's Rule of Honesty Can she trust you to be HONEST? Can she trust that you can Handle her Honesty? 133 Players versus the Player Wannabes The Player Guilty by Assumed Association Never Allowed A Bad Day Can't Be To Good The Player Wannabe When a Guv PRETENDS he is not into sex Why do Men Lie? The Story of Kermit's Thunder Why do Women Lie? That is why you MUST fuck her How failing this test makes her your mother How passing makes her your special lover

126 126 127 128 129 129 130 130 131 132 132 133 136 137 137 137 138 140 141 143 144 144 144 145

7. Her Physical Safety. Make her feel Safe Then why do women like Abusive Jerks? The Value of Dressing Excessive The Arnie Becker Syndrome Fear of being pressured = lack of safety Why Women Fear the Seducer Fear of the Seducer-Women's Reality A Woman's Boundaries But what if you're just not cut out to be a Muscle guy? That is why you MUST fuck her How failing this test makes her your mother

146 147 147 148 149 149 150 151 152 152 153

How passing makes her your special lover

153

8. Handle her TRUE sexuality

154

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Women and Sexuality Be a man, handle women sexual truths The deal with her period The Best Kind of Lover. Virgin or Not What if the men are less sexually experienced 158 Keep it Interesting - The Rule of Be the First Sex. Lies and Women Free to be a sexual being and natural woman 160 That is why you MUST fuck her How failing this test makes her your mother How passing makes her your special lover 9. Prove that you have High Quality Sperm ____________162 The Two Beliefs Behind High Quality Sperm 162 Uniforms Stylish Dressing Genetics Line of Symmetry (Image 1) Line of Symmetry (Image 2) Employment Finance and Resources How this factors into One Night Stands It's All Inner Game Inner Game and the Emotional Need The Demons of Inner Game But It's All Relative That is why you MUST fuck her How failing this test makes her your mother How passing makes her your special lover 10. Prove that you are NOT a Homosexual All Communication is Gendered Gay Men That Pretend to be Heterosexual Women's Reality of the Male Gay Friend Ways to Address this Emotional Need This Guv I Know Feminine and Submissive Men Good News So what about bisexual men? That is why you MUST fuck her How failing this test makes her your mother How passing makes her your special lover

155 156 157 157 158 159 160 161 161

166 166 167 168 168 169 169 170 170 173 174 176 177 177 177 178 178 178 181 182 183 184 185 186 186 187 188

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DISCOUNT PAGE Chapter 4-10 Ways to Address Emotional Needs

188

Frank Analysis of a Test

190

189

10 Ways to Address Her Emotional Needs

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1-Story Telling

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2- Be Playful

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3- Sincere Vulnerability

197

4-Pick A Fight False fights The structure of the false fight Real Fights 5- Make Her Feel She Has Earned Your Attention Giving Attention. Taking Away Attention 206 Punishing her for Bad Behavior Make her feel Qualified to be with you 207 The Touch-Test

199 200 202 204

6- Taking Lead Action Approaching Women Chasing Women Being her Protector Stand Your Ground

212 212 213 213 214

7- Physicality (mugging to Penetration) Touch her Hug Her Sensually Touch Her Fuck Her Physicality and addressing her emotional needs Not a touchy-touchy

217 217 217 217 218

guy?

8- Ignoring The Test 9- Tell Her That You Just Want To Be Friends 10- Walk Away and Never Look Back Abandoning Her versus Walking Away What is Unacceptable Behavior? Sometimes, all you can do is Walk

206 206 209

218 219 221 223 224 224 225 226

CALIBRATION: How do you know which one to use?

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Chapter 5 - The Emotional Cookie Man

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Woman's Emotional Cookie Man Emotional Cookies and Tests for Emotional Needs Women as Friends The Guilt of Not Having Sex Emotional Need #2 (Drama Cookie) vs. Emotional Cookie Man Examples of Emotional Cookie Men How to Turn the Emotional Cookie Around Whose Fault Is That?

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Chapter 6 - Why Women Fuck and Date Violent Jerks

Abusive and Violent Men There is a difference between How the Jerk Address A Woman's Emotional Needs What About if she has Low Self-esteem? The Lois Lane Syndrome The Eye of Seducer Is it Ever OK to be NICE? One last idea

231 232 232 233 233 234 235

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237 238 239 245 245 .247 248 249

A Final Ultimate Secret

250

A Sample the of Results When you pass the tests

251

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Frank Introduction Hello Seducer-in-training. If you are reading this, you are a seducer-in-training. You are not a loser, a wimp, a pussy, a shmoe, a virgin (even if you are a virgin).., you are a seducer-in-training. You are not a hopeless case, forever destined to be alone, damaged goods, dysfunctional, a dork, a nerd, a geek, nor a socially inept fool. You are a seducer-in-training. Maybe your life is not where you want it to be. Maybe your life with women is not where you want it to be. Maybe your marriage is not w h e r e you want it to be. Nonetheless, you still have the capacity to be a complete man. And as long as you learn, to push, and to make a a seducer-in-training. How months, 18 months, 3 years,

are willing to challenge yourself, to difference in your own life, you are long does it take? It could be 6 5 years... I don't know.

What I do know, is that it took me about 3 years just to get the basics down. (Even though I still have a ways to go to fight those last few demons). Just getting the first part of this managed... will significantly change your life for the better. I personally guarantee you that this material you are going to study has worked for me. I hope it will work for you too. I am not a psychologist, doctorate on the subject, or some magic powered magician. I am just a guy that pushed myself to make some changes in one area of his life, and got some pretty neat insights and experiences because of it. I hope it will inspire the Kermit in you. In this book you will read my end results; my newly formed beliefs about communication with women that resulted from my struggle to understand where the truth lay hidden.

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There was just too much material to study. Too many people to study from. Too many potential mentors to emulate. But none of t h e m were totally "me". What is worse, is that there were many theories that completely conflicted with one another. One school of thought said not to be sexual in your communication with a woman, while another school insisted to sexualize your communication with women. Both schools of thought guaranteed results. Some of the communication methods I tried w o r k e d for me, but not for others I s t u d i e d w i t h . In addition, things that had totally failed me, were working for others. It was a very confusing and frustrating time. W h a t I w a n t e d was O N E unifying theory. I wanted a unifying theory that I could easily remember, and t h a t w o u l d r e m i n d me to keep my g u a r d up, a starting point and a solid base. I adopted many belief sets and systems in an experiment to see what kind of results each would produce for me. I found the one that provided me with the best results that I wanted. That belief was. Everything out of her mouth is a test. I know, I know, this philosophy seems very antagonistic and unfriendly towards women. And YES, it can be at times. There are times when a man MUST be hardcore in his thinking. Otherwise, he is prone to repeat the bad habits that put him into his situation to begin with. I have been criticized for being hostile and combative regarding relationships because of my philosophy. I honestly do not know what to say when that happens. I do not really see love and relationships as a "war". However, I MUST recognize that adopting this philosophy DID get me results. I think that taking a combative approach towards relationships is NOT for everyone. It can be,

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however, an excellent starting point for men that, until reading this book, have suffered immensely in relationships with women. This is not a book for guys who have it together when it comes to their love lives. This is a book for men who are at a loss to figure out how to improve their standing with understanding women. "Nice" guys have a very unhealthy view as to what relationships with women are "supposed" to be like. They have some euphoric ideal where a woman will take care of him, and ALL his needs. This puts way to much pressure on the women they date. My philosophy is designed to take "nice" guys to the other extreme, forcing the "nice" guy to become a MAN, and lead the relationship, relieving their girlfriends and wives of the ridiculous expectations that have been thrust upon those women. "Nice" guys put women high up on pedestal, thinking of women as angels and goddesses.... increasing the pressure on all women to be as holy and untouched as the virgin Mary... and once she turns out to be *gasp", just a HUMAN BEING, with the same faults and frailties as himself, he casts at her the labels of "slut", "whore", and a host of other categories that are unfair to women. My own philosophy can be interpreted as unhealthy, but is it much healthier than the "nice" guy attitude towards women. It is also my own experience, that the only way to make changes stick in a permanent fashion, may be to take a philosophy to an ultimate extreme opposite position, in order to correct the original flawed theory. If you are a man that SUCKS when it comes to communicating and understanding women, THEN, these hardcore teachings may be NECESSARY for you.... as they were for me. -Frank B Kermit

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Chapter 1 Things to Keep in Mind

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Things to keep in mind This was just going to be a chapter in a larger book just like my first book, From Loser to Seducer: The Story of Frank B Kermit. Although, my upcoming book, I'm A Man. That's My Job, will cover all my inner beliefs and overall thinking in-depth, I want to take a chapter in THIS book, to go over some of the absolute basic underlying principles of those beliefs and philosophies herein, to put this book into context. In order to understand the concepts you are going to learn about men, women, communication, relationships, how to pass her tests and address a woman's emotional needs, there are some ground rule theories that you will have to adopt, at least until your development is complete. After that, you can discard these following beliefs. If you clearly reject these beliefs in this first chapter, right from the on-set and will not entertain the following section of beliefs, then do us both a favor and give this book away to a guy that is willing. I have no interest in arguing with you, or trying to convince you of anything. All I am telling you is that if you don't take the following Chapter One beliefs into account, then you will not be able to appreciate my basic theories on men, women and relationships in the rest of this book. W h a t ' s w o r s e , w h e n you get to the really hard core writings in this book, you will not understand w h e r e my grasp of women's emotional needs comes from.

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Number 1: The Philosophy of Truth in Theories Theories do not have to be true, they only have to work. I honestly know that some of the things I believe in are not scientifically proven nor even true for that matter. Thinking the way I do is what has worked for me to get the results I want, without ever having to get violent. What is absolutely necessary for me, is that you are able to function and get results without violence or the use of manipulative drugs and narcotics. If these theories allow you to function without resorting to violence, then I think my theories are pretty respectable theories. I do not know if anything of what you are about to read is true... I am just sure they worked for me. That is all I care about. There will usually be an exception to every rule. Regardless of this, rules still apply, and reflect generalizations, and should be noted. Never plan to be, or rely on being, or running into, the exception to the rule. Exceptions to the rule are exceptions, precisely because they do not set out to be exceptions.

So if you run into a woman that is the exception to the rule, and you can still connect to her, then by all means, ignore what I say and have a happy life.

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Number 2: There is both an Conscious Mind and a Subconscious (aka. Unconscious) Mind Many of the theories I present in this book are based on the assumption that there is both an conscious mind, and a subconscious mind, and that they are different. For the purposes of clarity, whenever I refer to something that is "SUB" conscious or "UN" conscious, I am referring to the same thing. I make no distinction between those two. I have shown this to a person who is well versed in clinical psychology, and he has informed me that this is clinically incorrect. However, this is a Frank theory, and under Frank's theories rules, it doesn't have to be "True". It just has to WORK. I believe that much of a persons communication is nonverbal. I take it a little further and claim that much of the communication between a man and a woman is UNCONSCIOUS (or SUB conscious). So much of what a woman tests for isn't directly stated by her verbally; it is coming from an unconscious level of her being. This book is designed to teach men to CONSCIOUSLY understand the communication that a woman SUBCONSCIOUSLY communicates to him in her tests. It is written in a way that the male brain can understand... and a female brain may find totally offensive. Furthermore, almost all of a woman's tests will come from her subconscious, so you are going to learn how to anticipate what those tests will be, and what she is REALLY asking from you.

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Number 3: Never Take Her Testing you as a Sign of Interest. Nor should you take it Personally as an insult or mean game of trickery Confused yet? I thought so. Don't worry. As long as you remember these things to keep in mind, you will never take a woman's tests of you personally, nor will you ever get sidetracked from your development because you run into an exception to the rule. For example, I once tried to seduce a girl very early in my development, and I was doing everything I knew to be right at the time. However, when I leaned in to kiss her, even though I saw all the signs that the moment was right, she pulled away. I could not understand it. N e e d l e s s to say, I met her t h r o u g h a f r i e n d ' s party, and we never ended up dating. I kept going over the situation in my head, trying to figure out where I had gone w r o n g , and could not put my finger on it. Years later. I would find out that this particular girl had a sexual fetish for unhealthy-thin, androgynous or very feminine, dark skinned, young Mexican men. That is all she was attracted to, that is all she wanted, and that is all she could accept sexually. I never stood a chance, no matter how skilled I was. She was an exception to the rule.

She tested me like any other woman, but short of major cosmetic plastic surgery, and a change to the time line of genetics, I could not get her even if I did pass all of her tests. I made the mistake of taking her rejection VERY personally, because I saw it as an indication that I was flawed in my approach AND I felt I had been led on,

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figuring that she was testing me BECAUSE she liked me. There is a theory that a woman will test you because she likes you. I disagree. She may be attracted to you. She may like you. But those feelings are not one in the same. In my philosophy, a girl will test you, because that is w h a t she is p r o g r a m m e d to do. It has nothing to do with you. THAT is why you must never take it personally.

Understanding the above principles are key to understanding communication with women, and for the work you will have to do, to go from being an average guy to a seducer-in-training to being a man.

Author's Note: I have absolutely zero contact with that Mexican -loving girl right now, so all you Mexican guys that fit the criteria, please do not contact me. Just know that somewhere in the world you are all very much desired.

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Number 4: There are 3 Levels of Communication in everything a woman will say to you

During my enough to meet with theory on a woman's who I first heard coin

years of development, I was fortunate a psychologist who presented me with his 3 levels of communication. He was the one the phrase, "Emotional Needs".

His name was Dr. Amir Sabongui. Although he is firmly against my belief that everything out of her mouth is a test theory, it was his own original theory about multiple levels of communications of a woman, that helped me shape my initial understandings about the dynamics of relationships. Once again, and for the record, Dr. Sabongui, does not support my theories of "tests", but his own theory about the 3 levels of a w o m a n ' s c o m m u n i c a t i o n s , reveals a deeper emotional need was the foundation of my own interpretations and theories.

Here is Dr. Sabonqui's Theory on the 3 levels of communications as I understand it. There are three levels of communication: Level 1: The words Level 2: The literal meaning of the words Level 3: The Emotional Need being expressed

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The First Level of communication is the contents. This means the words themselves. It is the a c t u a l w o r d s , t h e g r a m m a r , and t h e p u n c t u a t i o n . There is no interpretation of any meaning at this level. It is just a recorded acknowledgement of what she says. The Second Level of communication is the subtext. This refers to the meaning OF the words, not the d e e p e r m e a n i n g s B E H I N D the w o r d s . Here we take into account the literal meanings of the words she uses. This part is very logical and usually men have no trouble understanding this level.

The Third Level of communication is the emotional need being expressed. Here, we look at what is really concerning her, and identifying the real issue that neither her words, nor the literal meaning of her words, are addressing. This part is not logical, and may have no linear correlation to the original communication. It is emotion-based, and most men do not follow it.

Author's Note: I have taken this theory and added some of my own thinking to it. First, I don't just listen to what she is saying, but I also look at her actions (what she is DOING) as a test. Second, I have my own Mother vs. Lover Theory. I have used this in combination with my modification of Dr. Sabongui's theory. Third, as a means to know if the man has successfully addressed the emotional need, I have tied every emotional need to the woman feeling special. Fourth, I have identified, categorized and explained what I believe to be the 10 most important and popular emotional needs that I have come across.

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Here is an example of Dr. Sabongui's theory

A man and a woman are living together as a couple, and one night they are planning on going out for dinner to a restaurant. As they are getting ready, the woman turns to her lover and asks, "Do you think we should have dessert tonight?". Her lover turns around and is unsure. He tells her that having dessert is up to her. She continues to ask the question, and he continues to repeat that he does not really care either way, and keeps asking her what she wants to do. ("What do YOU want to do?..."). Eventually, she starts to get upset, and starts to accuse him of not thinking she is beautiful, and she worries about being too fat to have dessert, and accuses him of not being willing to tell her so. They get into a fight, and instead of going out to dinner, the plans get cancelled. They stay home and c o n t i n u e to fight. After the c o n c l u s i o n of the fight, he has no clue as to what just happened. "Argh! Women!" He thinks to himself. In the example above, according to Dr. Sabongui's theory, she was expressing an emotional need. Here is the break down: Level 1: The words. "Do you think we should have dessert tonight?". Level 2: The sub-text in the literal meanings of the words. "Will we be having something, possibly sweet, after a main course at the restaurant, or perhaps, going someplace else, or not at all?". This literal meaning could also include an indication to a concern for time constraints... as in, is there time for dessert?

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Level 3: The emotional need being expressed. This is where we look for an emotional need. Based on her reactions afterwards, it can be inferred that her emotional need may be that she needs reassurance that he still finds her attractive. Her insecurity may have been brought on by his unwillingness to be direct in his standing with her, or she may have already been insecure about her looks, and his unwillingness to be definite about whether or not to have dessert may have triggered that insecurity. This may not make any sense to a man (no direct linear correlation), but to a woman, it could make perfect sense.

In the above example, it is my opinion that the emotional need being expressed is her emotional need to have her partner address the fact that he finds her beautiful and desirable. This is a relatively simple analysis.

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Number 5: Men and Women are DIFFERENT Well DUH?! No shit Sherlock. No, but seriously. Men and women are different. Men and women are not equal. As human beings, both genders deserve equal treatment and equal rights under the law, but men and women are not equal. For that matter, no two women are equal, and no two men are equal. Men and women have differences that go beyond the obvious biological ones (genitals). They communicate and process information differently. One is not better than the other; they are simply different, and a seducer-in-training MUST acknowledge this to become a man. The seducer-in-training makes it a point to understand, (not necessarily agree with) the way women communicate. A man who communicates to women the way he would communicate to a man will usually fail in making her feel understood. A seducer-in-training, learns how w o m e n process information, and communicates with w o m e n on their level so she will feel that he is a complete man. One of the biggest mistakes that the men of modern generations make is to assume that because women have equal rights under the law, he must treat her as if she were a man. She is not a man. It is the man that will treat her like a woman that will get to have sex with her. Bottom line is, I think if men stop acting with the expectations that women are supposed to react to men, as other men would, then we as men will act more like seducers-intraining... This means we need to act and communicate to women with an understanding of their emotional needs, and not try to change them into men,

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but to work with the right communication skills men have and what women already have naturally. I HONESTLY do not know if I am right, but thinking about it this way helps me keep things straight in my head. Understanding a woman's emotional needs has helped me to understand w o m e n , and through understanding them better, I can appreciate them and not feel resentment towards them. I just know that I can not think of a woman like a man. They are not "bad", they are just different, and we need to be accepting and aware of that if we are to succeed long term.

Author's Note: In my book, "I'm a Man, That's My Job",icover in great detail my beliefs about how men and women are different, and explore what I believe the new gender role of men is in our present "modern" times.

Men and Women are Different BIOLOGICALLY The next difference I will list here is probably one of the biggest, if not THE biggest. Men and women are different in the way that their roles in the procreation process have affected the way they live day to day. Women have a biological clock, a time limit as to when they can healthily have children. The birthing process takes its toll on her body, and having a child is a stress that not all bodies can properly heal from. I have an uncle that says, "A person is comes into the world through his mothers pain, and dies and leaves the world through his own pain." I get it now. Every four weeks or so, women have a reminder of this biological clock that can be painful with cramps. Her PERIOD is her constant reminder of her mortality (the ticking biological clock) as well as her special gift of

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power (the ability to create, carry, bond with and give birth to new life). I do not envy a woman's re-occurring pain that is the trade-off of their gift of power... but I do sometimes wonder what we men are missing out on in the birthing process.

Author's Note: Yes, yes.... I know. I can be such a dork sometimes. Now lets get back to the more hardcore stuff.

Men have near infinite sperm resources, and with one orgasm can create enough sperm to re-populate a planet. Women have only a limited number of times that they can have children over the course of their lives. How does this change things? Women are under the procreation deadline. Their perception of life, reality and the world is different than a mans. They have developed a heightened sense of awareness as a means to try to reign in more control over their lives which is under unfair time constraints and added pressure. For all the sexual power that men identify w o m e n as having in our w o r l d , it is only a c o m p e n s a t i o n method in the larger scheme of things. I do not envy their positioning. If you are a man, then perhaps, neither should you.

Author's Note: In my book, "I'm a Man, That's My Job", i cover in some detail my beliefs about a woman's reality.

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Men and Women are Different Multiple Levels of Emotion Another important thing for men to bear in mind is that men and women have different levels of emotions. Men have 0-3 levels of emotions. Women can have 0-dozens of emotions.

Actions taken by both genders are based on their deepest levels of emotions. How does this apply to my theory? An emotional need that is to be addressed is from a woman's deeper level of emotion. When you address the emotional need, you are addressing the level of emotion that she may not be DIRECTLY communicating. Women's emotional wiring on its own, is far more sophisticated than men's.

Here is an example of what I mean for men: A man being tested by a woman might feel insulted because he takes the test personally. That is his first level of emotion. Then, he might be angry at himself for letting himself feel insulted by her. That is his second level of emotion. He might have a third emotional level, or he might not. If he only has two levels, it is the second level emotion that will motivate his actions. (If he is angry at himself, he might go out and play a sport, or start a fight in order to hurt himself as a form of self inflicted punishment). A man that has zero emotional reaction is usually shut down emotionally. If you think that you are

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in this category (obviously you would "think" it, since you can not "feel" you belong to this category), then put down this book and get some therapy. I can not help you. A man that has only one emotional reaction is usually in need to do s o m e e m o t i o n a l range e x p l o r a t i o n . He also runs the danger of exploding one day, and he will not even really be sure as to why. A man that has 4 or more emotional reaction levels might be *too* emotional to sexually attract women, and might actually be thought of as a closet homosexual by his friends and family.

Here is an example of what I mean for women:

Women on the other hand experience multiple levels of emotion. A woman hanging out with a male friend who she is sexually attracted to, while her boyfriend is at work, is enjoying her male friend's platonic company. She is happy. That is her first level of emotion. Then, realizing she is attracted to her male friend, she starts to feel guilty for feeling attracted because she has a boyfriend. That is her second level of emotion. Then she might start to feel resentful indignation towards her boyfriend because she is feeling guilty for feeling attracted. That is her third level of emotion. Then she might start to feel unsure about her relationship with her boyfriend because she is feeling resentful indignation towards him, because she is feeling guilty for feeling attracted. That is her fourth level of emotion.

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This can go on and on for some women at least. The end result of this, is that WHEN she will hit the final emotional level (whatever that level is for her), it will be THAT emotional need that the man must address when she tests him. A woman that has zero emotional reaction is usually shut down emotionally. If you think that you are in this category (obviously you would "think" it, since you can not " f e e l " you belong to this category), then put down this book and get some therapy. I can not help you. These women tend to be very sexually promiscuous and try to use sex to substitute emotional connection. Contraire to popular opinion, these women turn out to be disappointing in the bedroom. A woman that has only one or two emotional reactions is usually in need of some emotional range exploration. In my experience, I often find that these women tend to have very few female friends, prefer the company of male friends instead, and tend to choose to be alone rather than in longer term relationships. If they do eventually marry, they do so out of convenience or friendship, as deeper feelings of love and connection may escape them. Also, sex for these women is more of an act of physical satisfaction rather than emotional connection. EVENTUALLY, these women may open up their emotional range more when they come across a man that can address their emotional needs and at the same time not be overly sexual. Compatibility is more important for these women than sexual expertise. They tend to be the BEST administrators and leaders of other people as opposed to other women in the same position. Sexually, these women can be good lovers, as they do it for some of their own sexual satisfaction, but they are very rarely great lovers, as sex is just not that overall important to them. A woman that has 3-6 emotional reaction levels is pretty well considered normal. She will feel a constant flux in her emotional states, and defer to stronger frame

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set by her male partner. Sexually, they will perform as per the man's sexual leadership of the relationship.

A woman that has 7 or more emotional reaction levels might be *too* emotional to properly function in society. Menopausal women often act this way due to hormonal changes. They are prone to spontaneous unpredictable behaviors and intense mood swings. They can go from fierce aggressive behaviors to mild and gentle caring acts. Men find these women hard to trust. Sexually, these women are the most adventurous and depraved when they are in the mood. Most men wish for this type of sexual partner UNTIL they actually get one... then, men are sorry for what they wished for because most men are not ready to handle these women's levels of sexual appetites.

Final Analysis of this example In the above example, when the woman next sees her boyfriend, she may test him with an emotional need to see if he is still taking the lead in their relationship, or perhaps she will test him to see if he can handle her sexuality. She may test him on mufti emotional needs. If he passes more than he fails them, she will likely continue to be faithful to her boyfriend. If he fails the tests more than he passes them, she will likely be unfaithful at her next opportunity, or could even break up with him, depending on other circumstances. (Such as, do they have children together, or is she financially tied to being with her boyfriend). By the way... the male friend she is with is also being tested through HIS interactions with her. The more he passes the tests than he fails, the likelier she may be willing to be unfaithful to her boyfriend. The more he fails the tests, the less willing she will be to being unfaithful to her boyfriend. Also note, that in the event her male friend AND her boyfriend BOTH fail more tests than they pass, she

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might still be willing to reject both of them, and find a third man (or woman as the case may be) to be unfaithful with. Under my system, I have broken down all the emotional needs that I have come across, and categorized them in 10 groupings. It is my testament, that as long as you identify all 10 emotional needs that I have presented in this book, on a regular basis, you will be able to keep almost any woman emotionally satisfied. This way, you do not have to waste time trying to identify WHAT emotional need you need to address among an infinite range of emotions, but can narrow your scope to just the most important, all encompassing, 10 emotional needs under the Frank B Kermit philosophy. This is (in my opinion) why oftentimes, women do things which to us men, seem not to explain the mood, we think they are in. If men can stop for a moment, and try to understand that we men, are thinking from our own frame of reference (say 2 e m o t i o n a l levels of reactions) whereas the woman's actions may result from that deeper (say 5th emotional level), men then may be able to start to understand at least where a woman's motivation to her actions are coming from. There is no denying that w o m e n are more emotionally sophisticated than men.

Chapter 2 The Frank B Kermit Theory

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Introduction to Frank B Kermit Theory During the process of my development, I went searching for one or two unifying themes to apply as a rule when I attempted to analyze relationships between men and women. I came up with the following: Here it is: My Frank B Kermit Philosophy on Men, Women and Relationships and the definition of a test. 1-Everything out of her mouth is a test (even when it is not, treat it as so anyways) 2-A woman can only fit into 1 of 2 roles in any man's life. Mother or Lover. I call this the Mother Lover Theory. 3-She constantly tests you to see what role she should follow. Passing or failing the test will dictate to her if she is going to assume the role of your Mother or your Lover. 4-Within each test is an emotional need being communicated. Every test is designed to see if you will make her feel special based on your ability to address her emotional needs. 5-lf you address the emotional need, you pass the test, she feels attracted to you, she gets to be your lover and you have sex 6-lf you do not address the emotional need, you fail the test, she loses attraction to you, she is forced to assume the role of your mother and you do not get sex and the final part to this: 7-A woman always tests because her instinct to mother is stronger than her instincts for sex. (Versus a mans instinct to fuck is stronger than his instinct to father)

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What exactly defines a test? A "TEST": is when a woman says or does something, specifically to evoke a reaction out of a man, whether verbal or action based. It is a SUB-CONSCIOUS mechanism that a woman uses to find out about what kind of man she is dealing with. It is the predictor and basis for all sexual attraction and "love" she will have for a man. Every test is designed to make her feel special (your lover) when a man passes it, or makes her feel unspecial (thus turns her into your mother) if you fail it. A test can be looked upon as a question:

Do I HAVE to be your MOTHER or CAN I be your LOVER? If you fail the test, she will assume the role of a mother If you pass the test, she MUST assume the role of a lover At least, that is how I see it. Even though it could be argued that things she says are not tests, if you assume my philosophy, you will remain alert and thus remain in the right state of mind by treating what she says as a test. This principle implies that testing is a continuous process, not isolated events. The methods and principles in this book should be applied accordingly and is thus a lifestyle, a world view and a mindset on w h i c h you can base your actions. When adopting to this practice, it will take a great deal of effort AT FIRST, but as time goes on, it will become more and more natural. Another topic of interest: It is like women are competing for dominance in the relationship, but in fact, they aren't competing; they are just testing because they hope the man will win. They don't want men to fail the tests. They want the man to pass, so that she can be his feminine lover, not his butch mother. It is every woman's d r e a m to meet t h a t one man t h a t can a d d r e s s her particular emotional needs. To meet "the one".

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What exactly is an "Emotional" Need In my personal research, I came up with 10 categories of emotional needs that, when properly a d d r e s s e d , will make a w o m a n feel special (satisfy her). W h e n a woman's emotional needs are satisfied, she feels attraction, and the desire for sex. Women are different from other women. Some women need all 10 emotional need categories addressed before they act on the desire for sex, and some women only need two to three to fuck a guy. Some women put priority on one emotional need over another. That is why some women will act on her attraction for a man right away, and other women need way more time and comfort in order for sex to take place. Some women care more about their reputation than others do... some need to feel that their partner can be sensitive to the little girl in her, and yet others need a specific set of combinations in order to get the signal on the inside that they want to have sex with this particular man. I have written this book, to teach men how to address the most common emotional needs that I have come across on my journey, to best increase their chances to connect with as many women as possible, and to find out how compatible they are to the women they meet, in the shortest time period possible. Also, depending what she is looking for it may take only one satisfied emotional need to be addressed for sex. For example, a woman looking for a one night stand on her birthday may simply go into a bar looking for a man that has good looking genetics. She may randomly choose a man for sex, and the only emotional need in play is her emotional need that he be a man of good sperm. In my philosophy, a woman recognizes good looks in a man as a reflection of good sperm, and is

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interpreted for her that other women MUST want to procreate with him, just as she desires to do.

Author's Note: The above story is an actual story I got from an older woman I briefly dated who told me about how one night she ended up alone on her birthday, so she decided that she was going to give herself a present, got dressed up, went to a club, walked up to a good looking young man, and directly propositioned him for sex, letting him know what was up in that it was her birthday, and she chose him. He accepted, so they went back to her place and fucked. The next morning he seemed perplexed that she really did not want his number, nor did she have any interest in seeing him ever again after breakfast. "Nothing personal", she said.

Can one man satisfy ALL of a woman's emotional needs? Yes. Do most men satisfy a woman's emotional needs? No. In fact, the average man does not get all 10 categories on a consistent basis. Authors Note: I remember being at a book signing for my first book, From Loser to Seducer, which had a two page summary of my emotional needs theory. The book signing was in a trendy cafe full of people. One of the customers, a woman, saw the commotion of my book signing, asked to look at a s a m p l e copy of the book, and read that part. She t u r n e d to me and p o i n t e d out t h a t men do not address a woman's emotional needs like I stated in the book that they should. I pointed out that is exactly why I wrote the book, and then asked her how she would feel if she could be with a man that did. She paused, and revealed that if her past boyfriend had read the book, it would have saved their relationship. At the end of the conversation she asked if I was a feminist, as she believed my writings indicated I was. I have been called a lot of names by women over the years. That was the first time a woman ever called me a feminist for my writings. It was a fun night.

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From what I have found, women end up choosing a man that fills some of the needs. Two of t h e m factor greatly in her decisions to get married. These are her fear of abandonment and seeking a high quality sperm partner. Basically, depending on what needs are more of a priority for her, over other needs A N D her potential suitors abilities to address them, factors in who she chooses to be with, and who she settles for. However, marriage does not NECESSARILY mean m o n o g a m y . So she may marry a man that satisfies some or most of her needs, but she may be unfaithful to have the remainder of her needs met. In fact, how a woman perceives herself has more to do with what she will and will not accept than most any other aspect. A woman wants to have all her emotional needs met. (who doesn't?) However, if she sees herself as average, below average, or she recognizes in herself areas that she may be deficient (perhaps she recognizes that she is not as young and pretty as her competition in other women for the attention of men), she may willingly settle for men that do not address all 10 of her emotional needs categories. I have studied healthy relationships, and unhealthy relationships. I have been cheated on and lied to, and have been the other man with women who were being unfaithful. I have had girls be faithful and devoted to me, and some others that did not really like to be around me... but came over for sex anyways.

Author's Note: Frank Concept: There is a difference of what a woman likes and wants, and what she will respond to. Once you can understand that, life is good when you are a man. Life can be really amazing for a woman that is with a man that can understand this concept.

After all that study I have come to the opinion that things like low self-esteem, confidence, inner

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beliefs, and such are not the be-all-and-end-all indicators of a man's (or woman's) ability to be functional in society, have sex or develop relationships. Maybe I am wrong and off base, but I have counseled lots of men and have met the gamut. I have met men that have low self-esteem and still manage to get laid and get women to love them. I have met men that have a LOT of confidence (maybe too much), but are unable to connect with a woman and get the relationships they want. I have met and studied . with assholes, bullies, jerks, wimps, virgins, the socially inept, and guys that just are not that bright. Somehow the common elements of low self-esteem, confidence and inner "game" beliefs were not the deeper factors at play that popular theory suggests. Also, one thing that I think happens more than I care to admit, is that many men start off relationships with women very strong, and these men properly address a woman's emotional needs, but usually by sheer accident and luck. They do not really know what they are doing as per my more academic context in this book, but they are just doing what they have found works for them. That and lots of luck in not being consciously aware that what they were doing at first was the correct maneuver. Then over the course of the relationship these same men who started off so strong in addressing emotional needs (they started off really attractive) get COMFORTABLE. Their lover turns into... .their mother, and he allows it to happen. In time, resentment builds up in her because her emotional needs are no longer being addressed by him, as she takes on more of a mothering role towards him. At this point, she may seek out another secret lover on the side to satisfy her unfulfilled emotional needs. Her first secret lover will not be a man (or woman) that would threaten her primary relationship. At least she should be choosy enough for that, so that she does not threaten her primary relationship, in the event

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that her primary relationship is not totally dead, but just in a TEMPORARY down turn. Sometimes relationships go through ups and downs, and when in a (hopefully) t e m p o r a r y down turn, the extra lovers she takes on should have no interest in harming her primary relationship. If her main male partner (usually he is her husband at this point) does not start to improve his ability to address her emotional needs, or if he continues to degrade in addressing her emotional needs she will continue to lose attraction for him. Eventually, the other lover or lovers she takes on will become potential suitors and replacements for her primary relationship partner. Notwithstanding other circumstances such as children, finances and other unrelated issues, the couple could end up separated or divorced sooner than later. By the way, I do believe that men have emotional needs as well. What those are, how they relate to women's emotional needs, and how a woman can address them is something I will leave for another book... one day. One last thing before I go on. Despite the fact t h a t I have tried my best to c o m e up with an all encompassing theory on women's emotional needs, my own way of making sense of men, women and relationships, I do fully acknowledge that my list of 10 categories may be incomplete. There may be additional emotional needs that I have not fathomed. So bear that in mind, that if you the Male reader come across an emotional need in YOUR roman that is unique to her, please write to me, and let me know. Help me, continue to help other men, as I may have helped you.

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Frank B Kermit's Mother vs. Lover Theory Mother-Lover Theory Women can only take on 2 roles in any man's life: 1) Mother 2)Lover Which will you have her fill? If you want her to fill a lover role, then do exactly the opposite of what you would do for a mother role. Your goal is to fill a lover role with girls; women don't want to baby-sit you. Now some of you nice guys out there are thinking, "Hey, what about all those girls that are my friends?" You are not going to like what I am about to say: The ONLY reason that a woman would rather be friends with you than to be your lover is that... She Is NOT Attracted Enough to Want to FUCK You. If she wanted to fuck you, suck your dick, feel your cock and cum inside her, she would be your lover. That is it. That is all. Deal with it. The reason she does not want to fuck you is that you do not satisfy her emotional needs.

A female friend is more of a "mother" to you than she will ever be a "lover". At this point, it is what kind of mother she is going to be for you. If she is useful, and helps you meet other women for you to potentially have sex with, she is a good mother. If she keeps you around to wash her car or to buy her stuff, but she is NOT useful and helps you meet other women for you to potentially have sex with, then she is a bad mother. If it is the latter, then dump her, or let one of your male friends fuck her, and get him to introduce you to one of his "bad" mothers.

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The Mother vs. Lover Chart Mother Type A mother is Female

Lover Type A lover is Female

Raise you, while your father leads her

Raise your children, while you lead her

Make you feel like a grown up, when you are not

Get mad at you when you act like a pussy

Will make you pay for the sins of your father

Will make your children pay for your sins

Feed you, too much, just the way she likes it

Fuck you, too much, just the way you like it

Make you feel safe and secure and happy

Will need you to make her feel safe and secure and happy

Listen to your problems

Follow your lead when you act masculine

Will love you unconditionally

Can only offer you Conditional love. (Unconditional love is for her children only)

Will raise you to be a good husband, but not the type of man she married (attracted to)

Will be attracted to you, but raise your male children to be a "nicer guy" than you

Will introduce you to other woman to fuck

Will fuck you herself

Test to see if she can control you every chance she gets

Test to see if she can control you every chance she gets

There are only two things your mother and your lover will ever have in common. 1 -They are female 2-Test to see if she can control you every chance she gets

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But isn't passing her tests just a BIG form of approval seeking?

One of the biggest criticisms of my theory is that it is too supplicative. I have received criticisms saying things like, if men are on the look out for her tests, then the woman is leading the frame of the relationship, and so on.... How are men expected to lead the relationship if he is dependant on her approval all the time? Here are my responses to those criticisms. Interesting. What if the word was replaced the word "test" with "challenged"? Such as a challenger and a champion? Who is the one leading that frame? The champion, the challenger... or is it the one that wins the "competition"? I see it as the man's responsibility to lead the relationship. Leaders are always going to be challenged. I do not know of any leader who is not challenged at some point... if viewing the challenge as a "test" causes the right state of mind to enact, to produce the best nonviolent results possible, then I think it is a mode that has merit. Here is how I deal with the paradox of seeking her approval, and not being approval seeking: There is a difference between: 1-Seeking approval of a woman, where the approval itself is your goal, in the hopes that it will get you more in the future, but not necessarily and 2-Using the process of her approval as a means for you to get what you really wanted, whatever goals you preset.

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Here is an example to illustrate: A little boy cleans his room to make his mother happy. He does it for her a p p r o v a l , and does not expect anything of her in return DIRECTLY. Making mommy happy is the end goal in the action. The little boy may hope that he gets love from mommy down the road, but he has not structured the opportunity to have such a direct correlation, so all he can do is HOPE. His happiness is based on getting the approval. That is an example of approval seeking. In the next example: A little boy really wants a new bicycle. That is the goal; for him to get the bicycle.... so he gets a part time job delivering the newspaper (by getting the approval of the boss that hired him, and continuing to get the approval by doing a good job) to make some money. He structures an opportunity with his mother that if he raises half the money, she will match it, but he has to do extra chores around the house. So the little boy cleans his room, and a host of other c h o r e s while saving up his pennies for that new bike. He is still seeking approval from his mommy BUT the approval is NOT THE GOAL... it is part of the process... he is using her approval of him... in a structure that he himself set up, in order to get exactly what he wants in a DIRECT correlation to his efforts, and his goal. He has also structured it so that her approval is something that he can be detached from. If mommy withholds her approval, he will still be able to buy the bike in time on his own, or by structuring other opportunities (making money with the neighbors), but his happiness is not controlled directly on the emotional state of a woman, but on his own planning and control of his life. Their approval is the not end goal, but part of the process WE USE to achieve our true goal (sex, relationship, etc..) So while it may seem that I am encouraging men to seek out a woman's approval, there is something else happening here.

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Alphaness and Supplication If the doubts with my theory is going to the "alpha vs. supplicant" discussion, then it can be a matter of perspective depending on a man's view. Here is an example of how the same action can be considered both "alpha" and "supplicative". A guy that specializes in cunnilingus (oral sex on a w o m a n ) could be seen as a supplicant (puts his tongue on a woman's unclean body part and puts her pleasure before his own, and is seen as a guy that would also be willing to suck dick since he sticks his tongue were lots of dick goes).... or he could be seen as alpha (not afraid to get a little dirty for sex, secure in himself and his sexuality to make her pleasure a priority, and not phased by the fact she is a sexual being and other dicks have been in there). I lead people, but I am absolutely no authority on what beliefs serve them best. I think that is best for them to decide. I speak and write from experience, and this philosophy of Everything Out of Her Mouth is a Test is what works for me. My book is not written in contrast to the idea of fulfilling her. It is a book directed to guys that are trying to understand where (what part of her emotional reality) the tests come from. By understanding that, it gives men some direction as to what behaviors will allow him to connect with her and thus fulfill her. Wait a minute... isn't fulfilling her just a form of being a weak provider and not an alpha male? I mean, who is in control in this fulfilling situation, the fulfillment taker or the fulfillment provider? Who is evaluating whom on how well you fulfill her? This is just an elaborate form of supplication. Right? This is the type of idiocy that comes up.

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What men need to understand There is a very thin line for men between leading and bullying when it comes to women. One of the best ways to explain this is to c o m p a r e this to a work situation. Everyman knows the difference between having a great boss, and a lousy boss at work. Ideally, most men have some experience in either leading others, or of being lead, both amazingly well, and terribly bad. A really great leader in any context (work, volunteering, relationships, special projects) motivates the people that follow, and inspire those people to continue to offer loyalty. Knows when to tighten the reins, and when to cut some slack. And no matter how much control a great leader gives up, or appears to give up, the great leader still makes it clear that he leads, and that the final outcome in on him. This may even include taking the lead in ways that may be upsetting in the short t e r m , but always respected and done in a respectful manner. It is what every potential employee hopes for, and what every boss aspires to be. A really incompetent leader in any context (work, volunteering, relationships, special projects) does not motivate the people that follow so he has to threaten them. He does not know how to inspire those people to continue to offer loyalty, so he depends on their salary or other compensation alone. He is a control freak that does not trust anyone around him creating an environment of resentment and criticizes his underlings to keep them off base, but at the same time wants all employees to really like him, since he needs their pity to stave off any actions of retaliation from them. He looks to blame everyone else for his inability to lead properly. He takes whatever actions suits him, and respect for the people he leads is not a consideration, but acts nice with insincerity. It is what every potential employee hates, and what every boss fears to be.

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So guys, when you lead a relationship, would the women you have relationships with consider you a good boss, or an incompetent one? I hope that this helped.

The Role of Emotional Needs in Her Tests First things first... Remember Frank B Kermit's MotherLover theory. Women fall into one of only two roles when it comes to men. She is either acting as your Mother (where you depend on her to take care of you) or your lover (she depends on you to take care of her). If you act like a little boy, she becomes your mother (she feels less interested in having sex with you), if you act like a man, (lead) she becomes your lover (and fucks you senseless). One of the reasons monogamy exists is that by limiting the choice of being with someone else, those women in monogamous relationships will make the extra effort to have sex with the men, even when the men turn them off. Using monogamy-guilt to keep herself sacrificial in having her emotional needs ignored only works for so long. After that, she is a good target for men who can address her emotional needs and only want to have sex with her, but not a relationship. I heard a statistic that over 1 0 % of children are being raised by someone they THINK is their father. After watching TV programs like Maury, and his paternity shows, I am personally convinced that number is higher. You are the man. It is your JOB to lead. She wants to be a lover, not a mother. If she has to lead you, she is a mother. Mothers do not fuck little boys. Female lovers fuck men. She NEEDS you to lead. That is the law of nature. Looking for a high self-esteem woman for a relationship is OK. Needing her to tell you what to do shows a lack of control of yourself, and a need to have a

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woman mothering you. That is a very bad frame to be coming from. Period. Develop yourself into the type of man that can tell yourself what to do when needed. Yes, I am extreme about this, but using this extreme methodology helps keep men on the right track. For example, despite getting a number of offers from one of my lovers to do my dishes, I have always said no. Why? Because I am a man. I don't "need" her to do my stinking dishes. Then one day, we spent the evening together and she pissed me off, and I scolded her for it. When we got back to my place, she immediately went to do my dishes in order to make it to me. See the frame? Same action, but under this frame, she is doing it as earning forgiveness, as oppose to doing something for (mothering) me. Using a similar example of the above: When you (the man) have a chick over for dinner at your place, YOU are the chef. If she starts doing the dishes, you must tell her, "No, I will do my own dirty dishes. You can prepare salad". Directing her is the key. If you are invited over for dinner, communicate that "OK, I'll LET you cook for me". If you are asked to prepare the salad, say "OK, but I'll do it MY way. Do you have tomatoes and cucumber? No? I'll go out and get some." The underlying message is that "You are not my mother. I can take care of my apartment and myself." You can actually say "you are not my mother" to great effect, though you must not use it too often.

A woman's reality: a glimpse A woman, especially if she is pretty, is constantly getting approached and hit on by men. It does not matter if she is married, if she is engaged, if she has a boyfriend, or if she is an outed lesbian... if she

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is female, she is constantly getting hit on. Yes, even YOUR wife, YOUR girlfriend, YOUR lover is getting hit on, and she is probably not telling you about it. Lets add to this that not every guy approaching them is doing so with any charm or class or just basic good hygiene. She will hear it all from "Whoo baby, nice tits!" to "Hey, I just saw you sitting here and just wanted to meet you" to the less original "what's your sign?" Being on the receiving end of that attention ALL the time would make ANY person a little edgy and very skeptical. With so much choice, and so little time (damn those biological clocks) she has to screen guys quickly and harshly so that she does not waste herself with lesser quality men. This adds to why some tests can be harsh. Most men do not get approached directly by women for sex or relationships (unless we are talking about prostitutes). So it is somewhat a little challenging for men to understand her reality to explain why she tests men, and even worse, why some women act rudely when they get approached by guys. Is it possible that some of those men were actually good intentioned, but just inept in conversation, or just unprepared? Sure. Does she need to waste time with a man that is less prepared with his social skills? No. In that interaction, time was the most valuable commodity. Women do not want time wasted by wannabe's, or men that, in the unlikelihood that they were sincere, were simply unprepared. When a man with the ability to address her emotional needs makes her an offer, a serious one, it is THEN worth her time to be with him. A man that can not address her emotional needs, as great a guy (but socially weak) as he might be, and as good intentioned (but lousy at conversation) as he might be; it j u s t does not even merit her real attentions. She just does not have the time. More so

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for a woman than a man; she has a biological clock to race against. Why do women ALWAYS test men? Her instinct to mother is STRONGER than her instinct to have sex. This is the underlying reason why she is ALWAYS testing you as a man. It does not matter how many times you have proven yourself in the past, how many years you have been married, or how many previous tests you have passed. It does not matter how many times you have fucked her, how well you have fucked her, and how many multiple orgasms and female squirting ejaculation sessions you have brought her too. It is her INSTINCT to mother you, and testing you is her biological way to know if she needs to switch into mothermode, (aka no-sex-for-you-mode) Most men claim this does not make sense. Of course it does not make sense to you. You are a M A N ! ! ! It is not supposed to make sense to you. Just identify the emotional need and address it. The rule is: Everything out of her mouth is a test. Which translates to, a woman is ALWAYS trying to lead the frame. A L W A Y S . There is no * O F F * switch. This is why you must know what you are doing, and why you are doing it, ALWAYS. So those pesky self-doubts don't interfere every time she tests you... and she is always testing you. You can never assume the tests will not come. I am not raining on your parade here. You simply have to assume the tests are going to come no matter how in control you are of the relationship. It is the way of the woman to continually test the man with power of leadership.... ALWAYS. A woman's biggest complaint about their boyfriends and husbands that they tell their secret male lovers is, "He does not take enough leadership but waits for me to do things".

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Chapter 3 The 10 Emotional Needs of a Woman

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Introduction It is all about making her feel special. She needs to feel special. Women live in a reality of abundance of sexual choice and that is not always a good thing. It is common theory that women are constantly approached. This does not mean however that women are approached in ways that make them feel good. In fact, another common theory is that 2 0 % of the guys are getting 80% of the sex. So, if women are constantly being approached by men, but only a few of the men are getting sex, then if means that a lot of the men approaching are not doing a very good job of it. It is also common theory that men will fuck anything. A warm blooded male wants to spread his seed, dump loads, and build his reputation as a man, sometimes, by hurting the reputation of the women he has bedded. She needs reassurance, that she is not just another notch in the belt of a man w h o is merely approaching her to spread his seed. Why does this matter? Put yourself in her position. As a woman, she gets approached all the time by a variety of guys. Getting sex is not a problem for her. BUT whoever she sleeps with is a reflection of the type of quality of men that want her. Since she has her choice of sperm donors, she has to be choosy. By choosing the best male candidate, she ups her own value. Men are judged by How Many women he beds. Women are judged by WHO she beds-

Making her feel special is the criteria by which she judges your value as a man. Bottom-line here is that she needs to know that you do not want her just because no other girl said "yes" to you previously.

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High Value Male: A man that can address her emotional needs Low Value Male: A man that can NOT address her emotional needs Emotional Cookie Man: A Low Value Male that she take advantage of to provide her with attention, money and material possessions. I will be referring to these three categories of men throughout this book. The High Value Male is the man she wants to have sex with. The Low Value Male is the man that she will not have sex. The Emotional Cookie Man is the guy that she would not ever have sex with, but keeps around and takes advantage of his nice nature, and his attractions for her. Part of being a seducer is to establish that it is the male who either makes the choice (thus making her feel special as the chosen one), or to structure the opportunities for the two of you to be together to see if the chemistry magic can happen naturally. She wants to know that there was something about her that made you want her, for her. When you get approached by men constantly offering you sex, for sex sake, and men's sake, all the time, your standards go up, and you want to make it about you, the woman. She needs to feel special, and if she feels that she is just another one of your conquests she will refuse to give you sex. Address that part of her that needs to feel that there is something about her specifically that you can't resist. For starters, the average man does NOT make w o m e n feel s p e c i a l . A v e r a g e men do the t h i n g s that our generation of men have been programmed to do what they think makes her feel special (buy her flowers, candy, and other gifts) but that is not the case. Buying her stuff is nice, but does not make her feel special. Mostly because, if she is not in the picture, you could

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just as easily buy that random stuff for the next lady. Unless she is a gold digger, heavy spending on gifts will make her suspicious of you. When you do buy her gifts, make sure she knows it is because she has earned them in some way. She deserves gifts for treating you in a way you deem proper, but not before. Women are the ones getting approached most of the time. Average guys simply go out and HOPE a woman will choose him. For women, being wanted by an average guy (desperate male) that obviously does not address her e m o t i o n a l needs does not make her feel special. It makes her feel that you just want her, because no other woman has said "yes" to you, and she feels like he is just trying his luck with her next. Regardless of what she tests you with, if you can spot one of the ten emotional needs categories in between her words and you address that need by your communication and actions, you will pass the test, and she will by default feel attraction for you, and desire to be your lover. I think what happens in most relationships is that a man attracts a woman as his lover, and over time, she becomes more like his mother to him, thus sacrificing her attraction to him. In my unscientific-based opinion, that is when the relationship starts to die. The underlying theme of every test is a woman's emotional need to feel special. That is it. That is my theory anyways. So far, it has worked for me. The last thing I will write here is that I do not have any idea if everything I just wrote is true or not. I have no clue. I do not even care. These are beliefs. These are the beliefs I take action on. They work for me. So just keep in mind, this is only my opinion.

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The 10 Emotional Needs of a Woman I have identified 10 emotional-needs categories. 1-The protection of her most valuable asset: Her Reputation 2-Women want to FEEEEL a range of emotions. Do not try to make her happy, give her a full range from fury to ecstasy. This is a.k.a. her Drama Cookie 3-Cater to the little girl in her. Know w h e n to ignore her ramblings and when she needs you to give her a hug. Sometimes she just needs to be reassured like a little kid 4-Be dominant and take responsibility for leading the relationship. This includes making all the decisions, and taking 100% responsibility for the sex in the relationship. It all has to be the man's "fault" 5-She fears abandonment. This is part biological programming, as in the event she is left with a child, she needs to be sure that she will not be abandoned, and left alone to care for it. This covers her emotional need to feel secure. This is 50% of the reason that she desires martial commitment. 6-Trust. The key here is if she can trust you to be honest with her; even if you know she will not like what you have to say. In a woman's reality, she is used to people lying to her ALL THE TIME because of the way she looks, or they simply want something from her. If you are willing to piss her off with your honesty, you have demonstrated that she can trust you. 7-Her physical safety. A man must demonstrate that he is capable of protecting her physically from the threats of the outside world. This is to make her feel safe. 8-Women need to know you can handle her TRUE sexuality. She will only be as wanton with you as you demonstrate that you can handle it. She needs to

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explore her sexuality and let it be free with you as a Natural Woman 9-Prove that you have high quality s p e r m . The best way is by showing other girls want to have sex (procreate) with you, and/or you are a "good catch" and the kids with you will also be a "good catch" enough to also attract a mate. This is the other 50% of the reason that she desires martial commitment. On this one alone, a man can get sex in certain cases.

10-Prove that you are not a homosexual. She knows every homosexual male friend she has is not out of the closet yet. Could you be one t o o ?

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Emotional Need Number -1 The protection of her most valuable asset: Her Reputation Protect her reputation. It is her greatest asset. A Seducer must at all times keep his sex partners' identities a secret, and a seducer does not kiss and tell. Ever. Complete discretion is the epitome of masterful seduction. Do NOT BRAG. A man tells nothing. Basically USE DISCRETION. In the event that you happen to know about a woman's sexual history, where you found out, not from her directly, but because some other person told you about his/her experiences with her, it should be treated as confidential information. If and when you meet the woman in question, do NOT say things like, "Oh, you must be X! Way to go on that threesome last summer!" especially if she is in mixed company, and would not want that kind of information going through her social circle any more than it has. That is an example of exactly what NOT to say. If you aren't sure what to say, SAY NOTHING. The wrong statement from you can seriously damage her, and is evidence that you are not a man worthy of being with. She may have made a mistake with the person who told you about her, BUT if you make this kind of mistake, she will surely not make that same mistake with you. W h e n I see men that talk to girls and t h e s e men mention other girls in detail, who they hit on, or they successfully pick up, the men do not realize that it can hurt their chances with the girl. Now, it is important to note that, if she is a girl that does not care as much about her sexual reputation unlike how most girls do (for example, if the girl is an

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outed and public sex-worker, and this type of word of mouth about being great in bed would in fact be a good form of advertising) then this may not be AS MUCH as an issue. Also, depending on your status (i.e. if you are a high quality sperm Rock Star), she may rationalize that her reputation is not the one that will be harmed if she has sex with you. She will either rationalize that her reputation will be HEIGHTENED if she has sex with you (she w a s c h o s e n for sex by a high quality male) OR she will be able to claim that it was HIS fault for being a high quality sperm male, and that she could not help but be taken by him. Either way, the in this case, her reputation is actually served BY having sex with you. IF you are a high quality sperm male. My own thinking on this is that if you were already a high quality sperm male getting laid like a Rock Star, then you would not be reading this book, so it does not apply to you... yet. And even if you were, my attitude is to STILL KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. Even Rock Stars get turned down for sex by some women, though the Rock Stars would not readily admit it publicly. If women talk about sex with you but you do not talk about them, you still come out clean (cause you protected them), and it only raises your value in their eyes of you because now they assume that you fucked a lot more women than you would ever say you did. The rule is YOU never talk about her sexual history with you, but SHE CAN talk about her sexual history with you. I personally would rather my girls do NOT talk about our sexual lives to others, but the reality is that women are more likely to talk to their girlfriends no matter what you prefer. So things like the size of your penis, what it looks like, how much you cum, your stamina, and all those other "secrets" will be in the minds of her girlfriends and future lovers whether you like it or not. Deal with it. USE it to your advantage. How?

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Make sure you are the BEST sex she has ever had. So this way when she tells her girlfriends, her girlfriends will be likely to have sex with you as well behind her back. In some cases, this aspect might mean she will keep her mouth shut in order to limit her sexual competition for you. Never brag about how good in bed you are either. Bragging seems like something that you should do to encourage her girlfriends to sleep with you, however, in most cases this type of talk is detrimental. There is a difference between mentioning what you sexually know, and mentioning who you practiced with. Get it? If you have to mention to her how good with women you are, then you are not doing enough of a job of non-verbal communication that says it for you. You NEVER talk about the how's, or the who's of your game or of the outcome of your attempts with women. NOT AT ALL. You either come off like a guy that can not keep his mouth shut (REMINDER: A woman's most valuable asset is her REPUTATION), or you come off as trying to hard to impress her (low quality sperm man). When trying to meet and bed a woman that has a boyfriend, or is with a date already at a particular event, she will be shutting herself down on purpose to your advances if you do not take the lead to protect her reputation in that setting. Remember, her reputation is on the line. In a situation like this, find a way to communicate that you will protect her reputation. For example, get one of your friends to keep her date busy and then maybe you take the girl outside for a smoke, and once you isolate her from her date, invite out to a one-on-one encounter, or kiss her right there out of the view of her date. One of the biggest reasons a woman will not respond to you is the fear of her reputation being threatened. That is why she wants a high quality guy... it is HER reputation on the line. A man that proves he will protect her reputation with his actions (as the example above) is interpreted as being a high quality 9uY

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When a woman fucks you, she is really taking a chance. She could get pregnant. She could gain a reputation as a "slut" if you talk. In some parts of the world, even in today's "modern" age, she could even be put to death. Women's sexual revolution freedoms, is still a very new concept in biological and evolutionary terms. Biological and evolution instincts do not understand birth control, and other such concepts. It is an ingrained survival technique. The more she feels she is special to you, the more reassured she will feel that you will truly be the protector of her reputation. The power of saying. "It's None of Your Business" It is OK for you to tell any person that asks you something that you should not answer with: "IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS". When a girl asks you about your sexual past with some other girl, it is OK to tell her, "IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS". Our generation of men that has been raised primarily by their mothers and elementary school teachers to be obedient to women asking questions MUST change this p r o g r a m m i n g , and learn to tell a woman, "IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS" when she asks him something that he can not answer in order to demonstrate that you can protect a woman's reputation INCLUDING the woman asking him the inappropriate question. It is a test.

Author's Note: I was once at a club and ran into a girl that I had met at a ~ house party just days before. At the house party she ' saw me get close to another girl. The club girl asked me if I had gone h o m e w i t h the house party girl. I I responded with, "Look, I do not know how you were ~ raised, but there are certain things that I do not discuss in public like that. Can you imagine if it was YOU that I was getting to know?".

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She immediately recanted claiming she would never talk about certain things in public either. Yeah. Right. That is why she bluntly asked about it huh? Well, actually, she was just testing me. I passed. Her and I spent the next 30 minutes just talking, until I decided to move on to talk to someone else.

Another thing you can do is, whenever a woman (or man) asks you ANYTHING... if it is something you may not want to answer, or if you do not know how to answer ASK HER WHY SHE IS ASKING. It turns the tables, so that she has to qualify herself to you, and you still get more time to come up with a better response. Claiming that you did not have sex with that woman Keeping your mouth shut about the fact you two didn't do anything sexual is a good start. HOWEVER, if you tell your other friends you didn't have sex, it may be a sign that you would tell them if you did. Don't even bring it up, and if someone else does, down play it, or just bypass the conversation. Your sex life, no matter who it is with, or what you did, or DIDN'T do, is none of anyone's business. If you are going to state that you did not have sex with a woman, it has the MOST impact when that woman is also present in the conversation. One last thing... If you get cornered, and yes it can happen if you are not used to leading the conversation, and you've tried everything else, but some asshole has cornered you, then when it comes to protecting a woman's reputation, you LIE and state you never had sex with her. Yes, you lie. You take the hit. I may be wrong about this, but I do feel that it is more honorable to lie and protect her reputation about your sex life, than to admit to something just to make yourself look good at the expense of a woman that bedded you. It is not the best answer, but it is the lesser of two evils. Period.

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Now this gets scary: Protecting YOUR reputation If you have sex with a woman, and you do NOT do a THOROUGH job of protecting her reputation, she might turn around and accuse you of RAPE to protect her reputation. If she is unstable, or you are banging a woman that is cheating on some other person, you must take precautions. Get her to pose nude for you and get pictures or video proof of the consensual sex act to cover your own ass. One of the areas I studied up on was on Men's Lives which some colleges are now offering courses on. The amount of false accusations in this area is just plain scary. Women WILL cry rape to save her marriage or relationship if she feels she has no other recourse. Even in cases where the girl in question is a martial arts black belt I have to say that unfortunately dude, that is irrelevant. The bottom line is that even if she can beat you up, what do you think the social circles around her (especially her family, boyfriend or husband) will WANT to think? That she is a cheating slut, or that she was your victim? When a guy gets accused of something like this, the damage is severe. Even if he is cleared of everything later on its too late; the damage had been done. The best place to film her is to walk in while she is taking a shower or even set the camera down and get in the shower with her. During the filming, either get her to talk about how she loves to fuck you, and maybe get her to make fun of her partner and having her admit she thinks of you when fucking her partner... again just to cover your ass. Do not secretly video tape her without her knowledge as there may be laws against this sort of thing in your area. Protecting yourself also applies if she buys you gifts. Save the labels if it has her name on it. If her name was printed on the box, even if sent to your address, hold on to it.

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By the way... a man that actively protects HIS own reputation (not just in the extreme cases mentioned above, but as a constant element of his lifestyle) usually indicates to the woman that he understands the value of a reputation, and may be more likely to protect hers.

That is why you MUST fuck her A man can never know how insulting and degrading it is for a w o m a n ' s reputation that a man refuses to have sex with her. Although a man has the right not to have sex with a woman that he does not like, it is important for him to remember that if he does like her, he MUST have sex with her. Or at the very least TRY to have sex with her, and make those first moves and passes. A woman that can not attract a man's passes, e s p e c i a l l y w h e n that man s e e m s to actually like her, will cause her to develop a reputation of being an undesirable woman. This will negatively impact her from finding her soul mate, as he might hear about the fact that YOU rejected her. This may not sound logical... but this is what women FEEL, in their emotional reality.

How failing this test makes her your mother When a man does not protect her reputation, it means that she can no longer let her guard down around him. She can not be her honest self around him. She always has to be on guard and aware of the surrounds, and of everything you BOTH say. She feels just like the mother of a talkative infant that tends to blurt out inappropriate comments at the wrong times. This means she can not enjoy herself when she is around you. It also means, that because she has to be the responsible one in your relationship, she resents your inability to protect the relationship reputation, and thus loses sexual attraction for you. She would rather fuck someone else. She can not totally let herself be sexual with you, as you

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are too immature to know when to keep your mouth shut like a little boy. Little boys do not get to fuck.

How passing this test makes her your special lover If she feels she is special to you, she can feel that chances are greater that you will not hurt her reputation. If you demonstrate through you verbal and non-verbal communication that you are the type of man that will actively protect her reputation, she will feel special uniquely to you, which causes attraction in her for you. Therefore, she is more likely to fuck you. Addressing this emotional need encourages her to justify spreading her legs for you.

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Emotional Need Number-2 Women want to FEEEEL a range of emotions a k a . her Drama Cookie

Women do NOT want to be happy. Do not try to make her happy, that is only one emotion. She needs t h e m all. T h e y w a n t to regularly e x p e r i e n c e a R A N G E of emotions (sadness and crying are part of the range). She gets to have it all when she is with you. The surest way to get her to cheat on you, or leave you, is to solve all her problems so that she has nothing to complain about. Women want to FEEEEEEL; women need to feel a range of emotions; not just good ones. One of the mistakes guys make, is that over time they themselves get addicted to the relationship drama. After all, a relationship with a healthy dose of female drama does make the sexual part of the relationship more intense. However, there is a danger of guys getting hooked on the drama. They start to lose perspective on w h a t their role in the relationship is. The man's role is to lead the relationship, and if he gets to attached to the drama, he loses that ability, and the woman has to start taking more of the leadership role. This causes her to lose attraction for him. In time, it could result in the end of the relationship altogether. If you are one of those guys who are very into the drama of the relationships, drop YOUR drama. That is a feminine trait. She wants to be the one with drama. You need to be the one that can handle it. Otherwise, the next time you kiss your girlfriend, it might be right after she sucked my cock behind your back. The greater the range of emotions, the more alive she will feel she is. You have to make sure that you don't get pegged into any ONE particular category of her brain. Lets say, that you specialize in making her feel excellent sexual pleasures, but you are incapable of making her feel any other variety of a range of e m o t i o n s (from safety, passion, unease, happy, nervous, calm,

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etc..)

you will definitely be in the sex-adventure category of her brain, but that may not be enough to get her to feel that you are relationship material... She could just see you as a temporary fun time. If you want a potential relationship with her in the future, don't just play the adventure card.... push as many of her emotional buttons as possible. It will help keep the interest long after the sex becomes common place. I believe that being in a relationship does not mean trying to make the other person happy (as human beings go, this is an almost impossible goal). It means building something together that you can both appreciate. I don't look to make my partners happy, rather I focusing on building our lives and willing to look at feeling a full emotional range. Making her happy through your own misery will not make her happy in the long run. Why? It will cost you everything you both have worked on together. No happiness in that. And yeah, the responsibility can be scary. Ironically, if being afraid to hurt your partner stops you from being yourself, you end up hurting both of you. I no longer ever try to make my partner(s) happy. It is a lost cause. Instead I focus on giving her a variety of emotions, good and bad. So this way, even if I screw up, it's OK, and she knows that life with me will be interesting.... not happily ever after, but very interesting. So every now and then, if you notice that your relationship with women is getting a little routine and boring, then as a man you must MISBEHAVE. Do not do anything that is going to hurt her reputation, but take the lead and work to make your lives interesting again. If you end up on one of these talk shows, or romance makeovers for couples shows, dude, I got news for you. It is p r o b a b l y too late, and she has by now a l r e a d y fucked a guy like me on the side. It is your job to prevent it from ever getting to that level in the first place. One certain sign that you are not properly addressing this emotional need is when the women you are with will pick a fight for no real reason. It means she

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needs more drama in the relationship, and you are not providing enough. How you handle this fight is key to passing or failing her tests. You start to learn to handle it by understanding ANGER. Definition of Drama Drama, as I define it is: The outer sign of a woman seeking re-gain control over her own emotional states. W o m e n have a need for drama, because the acting out (drama) is a symptom of their attempts to gain emotional control over areas they have identified as being out of emotional control. If you give her the drama by consciously giving her the emotional range, and addressing this emotional need, over all, there will be less drama in the relationship. The drama that exists will be the drama you initiate, and there will be no destructive drama. Destructive drama is drama that could destroy your relationship if taken to its ultimate end (she cheats on you, leaves you, or gives you an STD) Men. Women and the Emotion of ANGER Another key aspect in the difference between men and woman is they way men and women experience ANGER. It is totally different. When a man experiences anger he must focus on dealing with anger and the ability to channel it, otherwise it will control him and possibly turn him violent. Most men do not have the emotional sophistication of a woman, and anger can quickly turn into blind rage if the man has not learned to handle his own intense emotions. When a woman gets angry, she experiences it differently as another emotional experience, one of many intense emotional experiences. It is not an all-consuming rage that may take her over. This is why w o m e n may be particularly better at forgiveness than a man is. When a woman expresses her anger at a man, she is just getting her emotions out and she is often

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unable to fully understand his negative reactions to her. She assumes he experiences anger the same way she does and thinks he is over reacting to her, w h e n he responds accordingly.

Author's Note: I am not sure about this author's note, but I think this aspect of a woman's dynamic might be the reason that m a n y m e n , and in my own t a l k s with w o m e n , many women TOO, do NOT appreciate working for female bosses. I am sure there are other things, but that is a discussion for a different book.

What a man understands when he sees her getting angry is that he is assuming that the issue is actually bigger than it probably is. A man is taught and expected not to express his anger on the smaller issues, and only on the bigger one. Women just want to express the emotion, regardless the size of the issue, so that she can experience the emotion fully and then expel it from her. Since a man assumes that women experience anger in the same way a man does, it only fuels his interests to NOT PISS HER OFF. When in fact, sometimes getting her to feel pissed off is EXACTLY what she craves. This is also part of the reason that men who try to make their lovers happy often fail. They want to try to make "mommy" happy, when often, his LOVER (not his mommy) just wants to be angry for a while. Now, if you assert your boundaries, and hold people like your partner to her word, yes, she may be upset with you for a t i m e , maybe even cross with you ...but she may very well be grateful that you can handle her getting pissed off with you. The Value of Humor: the Jokes on Us It is under THIS emotional need that the quality of humor is important, but ONLY with this issue. The true value of humor is that humor is a tool for women to

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achieve feeling an emotional range. That is it. Nothing more. The role of HUMOR is to give her drama... it is not as important as people think... circus clowns and stand up comedians are well known to be among the unhappiest and loneliest people in the world... and they SPECIALIZE in humor. Humor alone will not get you laid. Especially since most humor is self-deprecating. When humor is turned on someone else, it can be bullying or insulting. Humor in the context of providing her with emotional needs is what the importance of humor represents. As a friend of mine, Kosta, who did stand up c o m e d y for a while used to say... "I got into comedy so I could meet girls.... but I have yet to meet a woman that says: Fuck Me Funny-boy! Fuck Me!" Too true. One of the same stories that comes up with guys is that they will go out, and end up sitting with a group of guys and girls (sometimes just girls), and they will be leading the group that night with laughs. Everyone has a great time, but when the end of the night arrives, the women are reluctant to give out any numbers. They can not figure out what went wrong. After all, they were the life of the party. Ok, I am going to get very harsh here, but only to make a point: . "Gee, what NICE GUYS you are for being ENTERTAINING." Ok, sorry about that. Hopefully though this will drive home a point. Being funny is good, but if it is ALL you do, you become entertainment for the night. You must salt and pepper your funniness with sincere rapport, and attraction. This applies in ANY interaction with women.

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You can't just talk about one thing. You must show diversity. For example: Let's say you are talking with guys, and one guy in particular is always talking about p r o f e s s i o n a l w r e s t l i n g . He will enter the c a t e g o r y of your mind that he is the "professional wrestling" guy. If you want to go to a wrestling match, then LUCKY that you met him. But he is not someone that you are going to invite anywhere else, mainly because you don't know anything more about him. For the same reason, you do not try to comedy your way into her pants. If all you use is humor, and you do not present other elements into your communication, you will not create any attraction, because there is no mystery to y o u . She will put you into a f u n n y - g u y - c a t e g o r y fast, and you get little or no sex. If you diversify, address other emotional needs with other types of stories, she is unable to categorize you (unable to control you), and the intrigue will build attraction. Humor without even the most basic rapport and sincerity makes you entertainment monkey for the night. Good monkey! Good monkey! Women do not want sex with The Three Stooges. It is not the funny comments that are the problem. It is the fact you are NOT leading the interaction. Comments break the ice, BUT you must be ready to lead that interaction. The "great" line is not enough. It is a place to start, but you need to know how to communicate to be ready to take it elsewhere, and address her other emotional needs too. If you are using humor, at least make sure it is f u n n y . If you are m a k i n g j o k e s w i t h a girl, and she laughs, but just keep making jokes, then basically you get to be her entertainment. Good monkey! I am guessing that being her entertainment monkey is not what you want. If at some point you stop making her l a u g h you are d e a d in t h e w a t e r as no girl w i l l be interested in keeping a non-funny monkey around, so y o u g e t r e j e c t e d . Bad m o n k e y !

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Humor alone in fact, can turn girls OFF. She is looking for a connection and/or great sex. If you ONLY focus on making her laugh make sure she is paying for your comedic services or that you enroll to become her therapist. You must experiment with going from humor to sincerity, back to jokes and back to rapport if you use humor at all. Intermix humor with some rapport and sincerity. So every interaction is part play and part serious. Attraction builds, and rapport deepens. If all you do is humor her, then you either turn her off, become her entertainment monkey, or get into a one-up contest (a series of back and forth meaningless banter)... you would tend to lose the contest if you are too inexperienced with it.

Self-Deprecating Humor No no no. None of that. You do not put yourself down in order to get a laugh. At least, not until you present yourself with value FIRST. Self-deprecating humor is a tool for you to use only AFTER you have already demonstrated that you can properly address her emotional needs. Not before. Before you demonstrate that you can address her emotional needs, this type of self-put down is seen as a warning to her. She sees it as you trying to make excuses and apologizing for your short comings. After you demonstrate that you can address her emotional needs, T H E N this type of self-put down is seen as a chance for her to be with you. A low value guy (a guy that is not able to properly address her emotional needs) must NEVER use it. This includes guys that are somewhat higher value than most BUT are still early in their development of being a seducer in training.

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A high value guy (a guy that addresses her emotional needs) sometimes MUST use self-deprecating humor so that, if she does not see herself as very very high value, she will still feel she has a chance with you. Authors Note: Once I got really good at this, I actually started to find myself getting turned down by women I liked, because they felt I was too above their league. So, w h e n I talk to a girl that I feel might be like that, I use self-deprecating humor, so that she feels that I am more on her level.

If you do not know what your own perceived value is, or if you are unsure if you should or should not use selfdeprecating humor then simply follow this rule until you know better: STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!! Absolutely no, and I mean NO, self-deprecating humor during your training. Zero. Once you are a master of this stuff, self deprecating humor has its place in your game. Right now, you are still too much of a rookie to ever let it enter the picture. It is a cry for sympathy and pity from w o m e n ... (even if it is not, that is how women read it from you). No self-deprecating humor at any time until further notice.

The Proper Way to use Humor Humor, as a tool to give her an emotional range is best used in the following manner. It is a diffuser that can make a girl feel the complete opposite emotion, in the shortest amount of time possible. For example, if she is really feeling good about something, a cocky joke can inspire feelings of anger and quick hostility. As long as the joke is not given or taken as a serious insult, and is actually funny, the emotional range she experiences is from high good feelings to intense bad ones.

78 The reverse is also true. When she is feeling really down, a good joke, can quickly make he feel intense laughter. Here are two examples. Example 1: A woman tells her husband that she fell in love with him because of his caring, and compassion, and devotion. She is in a state of feeling really connected and loving. He responds with a joke: "What a coincidence dear, I feel in love with you because... of your great tits!" She knows it is a joke, so she is not insulted, and the result is that from one moment to the next, she experienced connected and loving emotions, to emotions of shock and anger, to emotions of laughter and wanting to smack him. T H A T is what makes it work. Example 2: A woman is in mourning over the death of one of her parents. She is angry because of the way one of her relatives is acting on the day of the funeral. She updates her boyfriend on the situation. Her boyfriend then imitates the dead parent in a monologue of what that parent would say to the acting out relative. She knows it is a joke, so she is not insulted, and the result is that from one moment to the next, she experienced feelings of loss, mourning, and anger to feelings of laughter, retribution and respect for the dead parent. THAT is what makes it work. The Real Adventure: It's inside her A woman's desire for adventure, and her attraction to the man that is the adventurer comes in here. This also explains why so many women love to TRAVEL. Traveling is an adventure... but it is not the adventure that keeps her hooked, it is the emotional range she feels that is associated with travel. If you can provide her with an incredible emotional range, her desires to travel the world get less and less. Having a family (children) can supplement one

79 grand emotional range for another. This is the real reason that most w o m e n in families travel less. Women who date jerks tend not to travel too far away from those jerks, because jerks seem to have the ability to provide w o m e n with this emotional need in a b u n d a n c e . Sad but true. It starts with your own emotions I had to learn to deal with the reality of the situation, instead of expecting women to act like men (the way things "should" be). The most important thing to a man (who has it together) is: How she treats him (all respects) The most important thing to a woman (regardless of how together she has it) is: How he makes her FEEEEEL As mentioned in chapter one of this book, men and women are different in the way they experience multiple levels of e m o t i o n s . Part of w h a t we are learning here is to figure out that multi-level emotional need of her communication. In order to understand her emotions, you must first understand your own. How do you feel about your situation with women? Good, bad, indifferent, wanting, etc... The second step would be: How do you feel about what you are feeling? For example, does it make you angry that you are feeling bad about your situation with women.... etc... Start by getting in touch with your own emotions. That will help you start to understand women better. In fact, it is those guys that are loser who are too emotional at first with w o m e n that become some of the greatest seducers of all, once they master this part of their lives. Part of learning about YOUR emotions is also to determine what you can and can not handle in a woman's need for the drama cookie (her emotional

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range). Each woman is different. (See the section in Chapter One on Men and Women being Different). Some women need very reasonable emotional ranges, and others need super intense emotional ranges. If you set your standards too high, and seek out women that do not require this emotional need (trying to avoid a damaged-goods girl), then friend you are out of luck. This next section will be insulting to MANY people. They are ALL damaged goods. In some way, shape or form, she is d a m a g e d . The key is to find out in all the ways she is damaged, and if you as a man are comfortable with how she is damaged. If you can handle her damage, stick with her. If you will not deal with her damaged parts, move on ASAP. I once called one of my girlfriends damaged goods in an email, and she totally freaked out, but then immediately sent me some apology emails, even left a message on the phone. Truth is, I really did see her as damaged goods. I called another girl I was dating damaged goods, and she actually paused, and agreed. She was happy that I felt I could be honest with her. Same action, but two totally different reactions. I am still on good terms with both of them. Forget trying to find a "normal perfect girl". Go with what you can handle. And if you can not handle what you seek, that is YOUR job as a man to get better at managing yourself and your situation. If your standards are too high such that you do not date anybody, it is because you are too weak to do the work involved, and no amount of claiming "You are the prize, so you should not have to lower your standards" talk is going to work with people (like me) who know better. Standards like that are for guys that ALREADY get laid. Not before. That is why you MUST fuck her Nothing provides better for great emotional ranges like everything dealing with sex. The steps

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leading up to sex, the fore play, the variety of sex, the orgasms, the after-sex sensations, ALL help to contribute to a healthy assortment of valuable emotions. Sometimes the BEST way to pass a test to give her these kinds of emotional ranges is to take her, and have a quickie right then and there. A surprise quickie that she is not expecting, or a really prepared long-fore play sexual exploration can be just the ticket to keep her feeling balanced with her emotional cookie. How failing this test makes her your mother If you do not provide her with an emotional range, she will have to do it for herself. This could include things like starting a fight with you for no reason, to sneaking around and having an affair. She may still love you, but her need for a variety of emotional experiences will drive her to do things which could jeopardize your relationship. It is your job as a man to provide her with this emotional range, from really happy to really pissed off, and to be able to handle her in all of her moods. When you can not do it, she needs to take over responsibility for this part of her life. She resents having to do your job for you. She starts to feel like the man in the relationship, and if and when she picks a fight with you, if you do not re-establish yourself as the man of the relationship, she will feel the need to go out and find an experience (like an affair) to make her feel like a woman again. How passing makes her your special lover How this makes her feel special is that by being one of the few guys that keeps her feeling a variety of emotions, (you make her feel ALIVE more than anything else in the world), she feels special because you are still choosing to be with her, because she believes you can make any women feel what she is feeling.

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Emotional Need Number -3 Cater to the Little Girl Inside Her. Give her REASSURANCE

Sometimes all a woman wants is someone to listen to her, and tell her that everything is going to be all right. In these cases she does NOT want you to solve her problems, she just wants you to listen to her, and make her feel listened to. Think back to when you were a kid. If you came from a household where someone would regularly reassure you, then you understand what I am referring to here. If you came from a very cold and distance upbringing (I have found this a very common thing with families of both British and Asian decent), start talking to friends that have closer knit families to get an idea. Many descendants of European families take it too far, and smother their kids, which is an extreme of the opposite effect of being too cold. If you are great with children, or you like to be a daddy-figure, then this emotional need is going to be an easy one for you. Every now and then, talk to your woman as if she is your little sister. This may include baby talk (isn't sweety-yukims, the prettiest wubby ducker?), stern talk (now behave yourself princess or I just might have to spank you), to play/tickle fighting (and he pins her for the 1-2-3 to become the newest champion of the world!), to getting very serious and saying "No." when she is being unreasonable (No, I am not going to beat him up just because you are pissed off at the cop for giving you a speeding ticket), to the most powerful tactic of them all: HUG HER, and tell her it is going to be OK. There are times when a woman talks, and you must take what she is saying very seriously (like when she is telling you that someone in the family just got diagnosed with cancer). Then there are times when she

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actually wants you to step up and fix the problem that she is complaining about (like letting you know your teenage daughter is having unprotected sex). Then there are those times that she just needs to vent, to get all her excess emotions out (remember emotional need # 2), and all she wants from you is to listen and reassure her. This emotional need of catering to the little girl in her is that last one of you listening to her, and reassuring her that she is being heard, and that it is all going to work out all right. Remember the definition of Drama from above? Drama, as I define it is: The outer sign women seek control over their own emotional states. They have a need for drama, because the acting out (drama) is a symptom of their attempts to gain emotional control over areas they have identified as being out of emotional control. Sometimes, the drama could be a sign that she just needs to be reassured that it is all going to be OK. - Now, here is the catch... there WILL be times that a woman rambles on, and what she is saying is something for you to actually IGNORE. Part of being a man, and what she expects, is that you can tell the difference between her expressing a real emotional need, and her saying something you should just ignore. Both actions address different emotional needs. Ignoring her ramblings addresses more than one emotional need if you do it right, and you ignore the right part of her dialogue. (Read more about this in the next chapter). Just like sometimes, you must ignore the actions or comments of a young child so that by not giving attention, the child is discouraged from repeating that particular behavior. The same rules apply here. A man must know the difference when to ignore her ramblings and when she needs you to give her a

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hug. That, my brothers, comes from experience, which is why if you are an adult-aged male and you have little or no relationship experience, you are considered of poor value. Also, a man must know the difference between ignoring what the little girl SAYS, and ignoring that the little girl exists. When ignoring what the little girl says, you still must ACKNOWLEDGE that the little girl exists. See the difference? Here is an example of something to ignore. I was out with one of my mentors and some other friends, and the mentor started to chat up a girl he just met. He used a line on her, and she pointed out that she was aware that he was in the process of "picking her up", and even laughed at him in front of her girlfriends. This would have destroyed most men, but not him. He just ignored that particular comment, and continued to "pick her up" by just continuing telling his story, and engaging her in more conversation very un-apologetically as if she had never made the remark. He and the girl ended up "dating" that night.

Author's Note: He fucked her that night for those of you that can not read between the lines yet. Yeesh!

Some guys can do a great job leading the relationship BUT they fall to pieces w h e n a girl that they are with starts to cry. They might try to give in a little bit to allay her fears. So they give her more responsibility for the relationship, which might seem like a good idea in the short term, but in the long term, this is exactly what NOT to do. The rule is that when she cries you HUG HER. Yup. HUG HER. HUG her like a daddy hugs his daughter after he has just taught her with an unpleasant

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truth of life. (There is no Santa Clause, Virginia). Hold her, and no matter what, do not let her go until she stops crying. LET HER CRY. She is a woman. She is going to cry. That is what they do. It is a release of emotions. It helps keep her balanced. You want to show her that you can handle her strong emotions. You are the strong one, so she gets to be vulnerable. Giving her Tough Love Addressing the emotional need of catering to the little girl in her sometimes means that you have to put your foot down on something, like when she is about to do something stupid that would cause her to harm herself. For example, allowing her to take a walk in a dangerous part of town during a power failure. You have to put a stop to stupid stunts like that, even if the two of you get into a major fight. If you have a little sister, brother or cousin, that you had to be r e s p o n s i b l e for, you know w h a t I am talking about. It is the same thing here. Think about how you would tell a little kid, "No" to something. What expression would the kid see on your face? What would your voice sound like, and what exactly would you say? What would your body posture be, and how would you be feeling towards the child? Got that c o m m u n i c a t i o n in your head? Good. Talk to her in the SAME WAY.

How to Address the Child in Yourself Before you can address the emotional need of catering to the child inside her, you must first be a full m a n . This means that you need to already have dealt with quieting

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the child within yourself. Children can not take care of c h i l d r e n . Not in t h i s c o n t e x t . When catering to the little girl in her, you start with protecting the little girl: 1-Acknowledge the little girl exists (being ignored causes pain) 2-Reassure the little girl that it is OK to think and feel differently 3-Reassure the little girl that YOU are the adult, and that you are taking responsibility 4-Reassure the little girl in her that you as man, love yourself, and will not let any permanent harm come the little girl 5-Act like you love yourself (actions speak louder than words) If you are a man, you should have already killed the little boy in you. HOWEVER, most men that have problems with women have failed in this process. That is part of the reason they have problems with women in the first place. If you are like me, you still have some of that little boy inside. If you refuse to completely kill the boy, then you must USE the boy to connect with women. You do so, by addressing the little boy in yourself, so that you can better connect to the little girl in her. The best case scenario is for you as the man, to have taken over, and not have the little boy inside interfering. If you still have the little boy, then at least, make sure you can still function as a man. If you can not function, seek competent therapy. If you have the little boy, you must address it, before you can address a woman's little girl. When catering to the little boy in you, it means being true to the part of you who longs to escape the responsibilities of being a man. The difference for men is that you do not directly address the little boy inside, you address the adult you are, to take care of the little boy:

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1-Acknowledge the adult that the desire to escape is there (being ignored causes pain) 2-Reassure the adult that it is OK to think and feel differently 3-Reassure the adult that you ARE the adult, and that you ARE taking responsibility 4-Reassure the adult that you love yourself, and will not let any permanent harm come to the adult 5-Act like you love yourself (actions speak louder than words)

In the last one, that means, LEARN everything you can about where you want to go, and then take actions based on what you learned.

NEVER MIX ADDRESSING THIS EMOTIONAL NEED WITH SEX Once you address this emotional need with banter or a hug, THEN you can initiate sex. BUT do not make the mistake of doing the baby talk thing, or other stuff while you are getting passionate. It will break up the momentum, and end the sex. It will also make her feel uneasy about having sex with you, and she will not know why she feels uncomfortable. Now you know. You can do it just before sex, and you can even do it right after sex, but never during. From the first sexually charged kiss, to the after-orgasm-fondling you cater to the woman she is. Before the sex, you can give her reassurance through hugs. After the sex, you can play wrestle for the championship belt of the bed.

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In between those two ends, treat her like the sexual being adult she is. That is why you MUST fuck her If you do not fuck her, you will not be reminding her that she is an adult now. A l t h o u g h you must cater to the little girl in her, letting it go on for too long might affect her in a negative way, making her unable to cope with everyday life. By not fucking her, the little girl becomes more and more of her leading persona, and makes her less likely to properly function in the world. Fucking her regularly helps ground her in the present, and helps the woman who is fucking, balance out the little girl that needs addressing.

How failing this test makes her your mother In every relationship, there is one partner more dominant than the other. There is always one partner that leads more than the other. When you cater to the little girl in her, she gets to be relived of the responsibility of having to be the dominant one. In every relationship there is always one partner that is more parent like and one partner more child like. If you fail to address this emotional need by catering to the little girl in her, there are two things that can, and probably will happen. 1-She will be the parent and you will be the child This may happen overtime (could be years), but the end result is that she will start to become your mother, and because you are continued to be encouraged to act like a little boy, your little boy inside will start to become your leading persona. You must prevent this from happening. The more this happens, the

89 less attracted she will be to you, and eventually she will be tired of giving you "pity-fucks", as that will be the only sex you will get. 2-She will seek this out from someone else. She will find some other guy to make her feel like a lover again. This could be a temporary guy, or she could leave you for some other guy altogether, d e p e n d i n g on how i m m a t u r e you get, and or other circumstances (children, finances, living arrangements, etc..)

How passing makes her your special lover By addressing her need that caters to the little girl in her; It reassures her that you have everything under c o n t r o l , and t h a t you truly do v a l u e her. She gets a sense of reassurance that she can rely on you to address her other emotional needs. (That you are a man of true value). Thus, when she gets the reassurance for her little woman inside, the little girl inside gets put to rest, and she can feel special enough to let out the adult woman to play with her favorite toy: your cock.

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Emotional Need Number -4 Be dominant and take responsibility for leading the relationship. This includes making all the decisions, and taking 100% responsibility for the sex in the relationship. It all has to be the man's "fault"

This emotional need covers SO MANY THINGS. This is big, guys. Dominance In every relationship there is a partner that is more dominant and a partner that is more submissive. If you do not know who is the submissive partner is, then you ARE the submissive partner. Equality in all things in a relationship is an INTELLECTUAL CONSTRUCT based on the way some people think it "should" be, not on the way things actually are. It does not matter if you are heterosexual (malefemale), homosexual (male-male or female-female), or asexual or trans gender... in every relationship, including those involving three or more people, there are always submissive people and at least one dominant. Group relationships, even just sexual threesomes are difficult to maintain with more than one dominant personality. One person always loves the other person more. One person always needs the other person more. One person is always more dependent on the other. One person is always giving to the other person more. One person is always taking from the other person more. One person shoulders the burden of the responsibility of the relationship more. One person is always more relieved of the responsibilities of the relationship more. One person always has more choice of potential other partners than the other. One person needs and asks the advice and guidance of the other.

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In every relationship there is a leader and There is one person that is loved more by the other. top and there is a bottom. There is a Master and Slave. There is a God, and there is a worshipper. man, and there is a woman.

a follower. There is a there is a There is a

The dominant person can not share too many of his problems with the submissive. The more dominant person is the one that carries the responsibility to lead the relationship. The dominant may not enjoy the full emotional range that a relationship has to offer. The submissive does not lead the relationship, thus does not burden the responsibility. The submissive get to enjoy all the emotional range that a relationship has to offer. If you are a man A N D you do not want to be submissive to a dominant female then your gender and sexuality FORCE you to enter the dominant role, otherwise you risk being abandoned by the very w o m a n that you will o v e r - c h e r i s h . Get it? If you were born with balls, it is your job to be the "Man". I have quite a bit of experience in alternative community lifestyles, and the one thing I can tell you is that those women that are dominant, who seek out a number of submissive males (and there are LOTS of those men available, but not enough dominant females to go around) absolutely love and are attracted to males that are even more dominant than they are. Here are some things to note, while we are on the subject of alternative lifestyles... • In prostitution, men usually have to pay women for sex, but men rarely if ever get paid to have sex with women. • In relationships, submissive males must hope to find a dominant female to choose him, but a dominant male can ALWAYS find a female willing to be more submissive to him Just an interesting comparison.

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Dominance is Being a Challenge When you hear a woman claim that she wants a challenge, it is the emotional need of dominance that she is referring to. When a woman tries to mother you, and you challenge her instinct to be your mother, that is an example of being dominant.

Dominance is a Challenge to her instinct to Mother-

Dominance is all about LEADERSHIP Dominance, as it is used here, is the willingness and the ability to lead the relationship by taking charge and not waiting for her to "ask" you to lead her. For example, let's say that you are with your lover, and you ask her what kind of dinner she is in the mood for that night. She responses, "I don't know... what do you want to do?" At this point, she is testing you for dominance. Most men fail this test by responding back, "I don't know, what do you want to do?" They are unable or unwilling to take responsibility for the decision. This usually leads to a back and forth of "You decide, not me, I don't mind!". This is the biggest turn off for women. What it c o m m u n i c a t e s is that, as a m a n , you are failing in leading the relationship. Most men do this because they want to make their lovers happy. They want to give to their lovers what their lovers want... BUT, most men have an unrealistic impression of women; that women always know what they want, and not the impression that women are human too, and sometimes women will not

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know what they want all the time. He is still under the illusion of his mother, who appeared to him (when he was a child), to have all the answers, and sometimes he expects the same "perfection" from his lover. That is one of the many MISTAKES that men make. The proper way to answer this, is to be dominant, and when she states that she does not know what she wants, and asks you "to lead", you MUST quickly and firmly lead by saying something like, "In that c a s e , I am t a k i n g you for X f o o d . " (X being Italian, Chinese, or some other food of your preference that you know she will probably like)

Dominance is NOT about being a Bully Based on some conversations I have had with people who have read my first book, I feel I must write this in. Being a Bully, and being Dominant are two actions that on the surface seem very similar. Sometimes bullies are MISTAKEN for dominant men. They are not. Bullying comes from a place of fear and aggression. If challenged, a bully becomes aggressive and even uses threats to get his way with women. Some bullies use their strength to overpower women, and then become abusers. Dominance comes from a place of willingness. A system of knowing what is best, and what works, and how to best encourage those results in the people he leads. It is an acceptance of the responsibility of leading, and only resorting to violence in the act of protection of women, not violence against women. I worry sometimes. I have met and counseled many men in the last few years. Most of he older ones have the life e x p e r i e n c e to know the difference between dominance and bully. The younger men do not always have the capacity. That is part of my challenge to bring

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them to a higher level of understanding. Building better men, one man at a time.

Things Women Use With Testing for Dominance Sometimes, things are really going great, and you are doing a fantastic job leading a woman on date... then all of a sudden, her mood changes for apparently no reason, and it is as if, she just turned herself off, when you had her turned on. Sometimes, it is not even the girl herself, but her other girlfriends that come over and spoil e v e r y t h i n g for y o u . It is called " b r e a k i n g state". Why does this happen?

Here is why: When women break each other's states during and interaction lead by men, they do it because women are state based, and they need their friends to rescue them from... THEMSELVES! Women aren't just afraid of men, women are afraid of themselves, of what the women will do with men, when in the "right" state.

Women were biologically bred to submit and surrender to dominate males. It is not a conscious choice. They can't help it. (for more on this, read the part in this book entitled, The Lois Lane Syndrome). Breaking their own state, and the momentum of men's communication with women, is the only thing that will keep women "safe" from guys who aren't really strong enough to be dominant. A woman tests to find guys capable of giving her freedom from her own self.

One of the greatest fears that women have is that they will be "played". This means they fear being fooled into thinking that they are with a dominant high value male, only to find out that they are impregnated by a low quality value male. At that point, it is too late, and her genes are forever joined to the lower value male. Breaking state is a way to test if the man can re-gain, and or maintain his dominance. If he can, he is a for real dominant male, and she can end up with him.

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Men. Emotions and Dominance Does this mean that a man is not allowed to frolic in the r o m a n c e of it all? Pretty m u c h , y e a h . It's OK for a man to enjoy the romance, BUT it is not OK for the man to get LOST in romance. Giving up emotional control is for the one that ends up being the submissive. The other person MUST become dominant by default. When the man gets lost in the emotion, the woman will alter herself to compensate for the balance, and that is when she starts to resent the responsibility.

There has to be a balance for you to find where you can get the maximum enjoyment from the romance WITHOUT losing emotional control. Until you do, then simply resign yourself to making sure she is enjoying the romance of it all, while you lead. In time, if you get more in touch with yourself, you may find that balance. If you do not find the proper balance for yourself, at least you will still act like a man.

Women need a man who is in touch with his emotions, who is emotionally strong, BUT who doesn't get broken down by a test. As she feels it, if a man gets broken down by a test, who or what else is going to be able to brake him as easily as she did? His boss? His competitor? Other women? Why would she want to be with a guy like that?

In society, we treat women as equals, but we expect them to act like men. Women love to be lead in relationships, they hate taking responsibility for decisions; they want a man to lead them. Feel the Emotion. Control the Behavior Here is my take on it. Feel the emotion, control the behavior. The more you try to control, repress and

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kill the emotion, the more you will feel it, allowing it to get stronger, and then it intensifies. If you feel the e m o t i o n , your e m o t i o n is a part of you, the real you after all, but control the behavior, you can a c k n o w l e d g e w h a t it is you feel, but not let it control your actions. Easier said than done, but the long term benefits outweigh the short term pain. Don't be jealous... yeah, but you are human... the rule is, when you feel jealous, do not "act" on it. It's OK to feel the emotion, just control the behavior. By the way, that also means that she may say, "No" to you one night to be with someone else, and you have to be cool with that, if that is the way you set the rules of your relationship. NEVER BE SORRY FOR WHAT YOU FEEL. You have a right to the way you feel. Feel the emotion. CONTROL THE BEHAVIOR. Never be sorry for what you feel. That is not the part you must control.

So Gender Does Matter After All? OH HELL YES!

First of all, no matter what you say to a chick, it is a gendered interaction. Even if you legitimately just ask her for the time, and want nothing else from her, she is still under the assumption that you are using it as an excuse to "meet" her. In work situations, employers and employees on the surface remove the "gender" element from their interactions as much as possible. On the surface it works. Underneath though, there are levels of communication that still take place. And when the guys get together over a beer, they talk about the girls tits, and when the girls get together to gossip, they talk about the guys asses.

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THIS is why the burden is on the men to approach women, and not the other way around. The man must approach to relieve her of the responsibility. Approaching someone you are attracted to is a sexualized context. The person approaching is taking the responsibility for the sexualize aspect of the interaction. (By the way, it also helps protect her reputation as a secondary emotional need). Rejection hurts women deeper than it hurts men. Thus, it is the man's job to burden the unpleasantness of the initial interaction. On the flip side, men get the OK to approach who they want, whereas women can only try to attract they men they would rather talk to. Men have to deal with the potential rejection first, but women do not get to approach men that they would rather be with. I would rather be on the male side of this social stinker.

Leadership is about the man taking responsibility or for some men it perhaps means "Control" This next part is for those guys that still do not get it. If you understood the rest of this part of the book, then skip the next section. I often find when I substitute the word "responsibility" with the word "control", men react and understand their role much better. Women hate hearing this of course. So, I am including this next bit for all those guys that have the word "control" mean something different enough that it is the only way to get this point of "responsibility" across. It is all about control: That is it! Women are in a constant state of emotional upheaval. They lack control. Men, at a biological level, are all about control (territory, women, self...) That is why many women are interested in certain topics of conversations such as "learn about yourself games, "what X really means about you"

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routines, and the esoteric spirituality. It is all about trying to gain control over their own lives. Again with the Drama. Drama, as I define it is: The outer sign w o m e n seek control over their own e m o t i o n a l states. T h e y have a need for d r a m a , b e c a u s e the acting out (drama) is a symptom of their attempts to gain emotional control over areas they have identified as being out of emotional control. Drama: The outer sign they seek control. They have a need for drama, because the acting out (drama) is 'a symptom of their attempts to gain control over areas they have identified as being out of control. Paradox: Women seek to be relieved from control because they don't want the responsibility of controlling themselves, thus they will consistently test the men in their lives to see if he has the control over them. They hate the fact that they don't like to be in control and will do everything they can to test the man they are with, in order to gain control, in order to identify he doesn't have it over her.

Management of Relationships: Know who you are You WILL have to manage any relationship you are ever in. Your friends, family, and yes even women. Learning to manage people is just a different skill, no worse, and no better, than learning to get along with a co-worker, or learning a new computer program for the job. The common thread is the POWER OF C H O I C E . That is the underlying reason behind it all. It is simply to have to POWER OF CHOICE. To choose what you want, and know you can go get it, and can get it. Where most people fail in life is that most people have no clue what they want, they just go for what they can get. We are the elite. We decide what we want, and do whatever it takes to get there except for having to get violent.

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For each person this is different. Each person wants something different. Knowing what you want and WHY you want it, means knowing who you are. So, what do you want in life, really deep down inside? Those answers will direct your life, and maybe getting lots of pussy is important to you; maybe it isn't. The challenge is to come to terms with who you are, and learning about who you are. Once you can deal with that honestly, THEN, the rest of the stuff comes in place. You will not properly be able to lead women, if first, as man, you do not have your own identity. Lead yourself first, and then you will be able to lead a woman next. Build your identity.

Male Dominance and Feminism Women claim they want the responsibility of their own lives (feminism taught them that), but they resent it when it comes to the sexual relationships they have with their long-term male partners. A woman doesn't want to be a mother figure to the man that is fucking her. When she is getting dicked, it is the ONLY t i m e in her life t h a t she can and must give up t o t a l responsibility and sexual control, and let some one else be responsible for what happens. Feminism was created so that women would have equal rights under the law to keep them safe from violence. That was the good part. Somewhere along the way, feminism confused the difference between having "equal rights", and "being equals". W o m e n are now starting to realize that they like being feminine, and want to be freed from responsibility and accountability. They only way they can get that back, is to find a man that will be responsible for their experience. There is A LOT more to it, but I think this may give you a start.

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Sex and Dominance

Sex is the Man's Fault When I state that sex must be the man's "FAULT", what I mean is if it turns out that if afterwards, she ends up feeling that you both moved too fast, or her parents find out and her reputation is questioned, or she has guilt issues about sex, it is up to you the man, to outright claim that the sex would have not happened if not for you. It is your fault she could not resist wanting you. Not hers. THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU ADMIT TO FORCING HER INTO IT WHEN YOU DID NOT. That will get you accused and convicted of rape. It means that you remove the burden of the guilt, or other after effects that she may associate with sexual contexts. For example, I was at a fast food restaurant chain one evening, and the girl who served me had the most beautiful eyes. We locked in eye contact as she was giving me my food, and I sensed a connection there. I gave her my card, and told her to email me. (Under my own principle, I should have taken her number BUT she was relatively young, and I wanted to calibrate to time and be discreet. She smiled and took the card. We made a little small talk. After the order, I realized that she had been so wrapped up in our conversation, that she forgot my drink. When I reminded her about the drink, she smiled and laughed, and started to flirt back with me, "Oh, I already gave it to... that is why you are such a sweet talker, trying to get more drinks huh?" It was fun. However, her female boss, who I must say seemed jealous of the attention, and probably did not see herself as having such pretty eyes, came over trying to "joke" with us, scolding her employee to not to flirt with customers, etc...

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I could see in the face of the girl that she was in for something with this idiot boss, so I loudly and quickly piped up to her boss that, "She was not flirting with me, it was * l * that was flirting with her!" I said it with a smile, and enthusiasm. Her boss then tried to continue the conversation with me, trying to engage me in the same type of banter. No go for her. The girl speaks out too saying, "See, HE started it!" I took the hit. I am a man, that is my job. Her reputation was protected (emotional need number one), and she was relieved the responsibility of the sexualized nature of the conversation (emotional need number 4). Women want to put all the responsibility on men; they do not want a guy putting the pressure on her. This is the main reason why women go out with jerks and bad boys. It is simply because this is their excuse for having sex with them. Sometimes girls create excuses such as "I was drunk" or "it just h a p p e n e d " to explain their behavior. They want Z E R O responsibility and so the man has to initiate everything, the woman's role is to play the "insecure girl" and the man's role is to be "the man" and lead them through the experience. Women simply do not want to be perceived as sluts. When it's Time to Fuck Her, a Man MUST Fuck Her A huge part of d o m i n a n c e in sex is the idea that when the moment of sex actually arrives, the man MUST fuck her ...or at least make a pass and attempt to fuck her. When it is just you and her in the moment, do not break your lead. Go for it, and fuck her. Believe it or not, for some men, this is an incredible hurdle. Some men are so afraid to hurt w o m e n , or to somehow accidentally get rough with women, that they are worried for the women they might have sex with, such that when the moment arrives, the men fear penetrating the girls. Another reason men do not have sex when it is time, is that he is uncomfortable with the idea of sex himself. Guys, if you fall into this category, then get

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whatever it is that is wrong with you on the inside fixed. Seek therapy if you need it. Women will not be comfortable in sexual situations with you if you are not comfortable first. You are the man. You have to be the one comfortable with her wanting to fuck you.. T H E N she can be comfortable with it too. You must lead, and start leading with leading YOUR own EMOTIONS. These principles that I teach are in direct conflict with the issue of guilt, shame, control, pain, weakness, loss, trauma etc... that some men have learned to associate with sex and relationships with women. Many men were taught, and were reenforced with age experiences, that this part of life is "beyond their control". Actively working to make their love lives better taps on all those inner issues for men. Again, those nasty guilt issues about sex... we all got 'em, but as a man, you must be able to function DESPITE them. That is your job.

Maintaining Dominance in Sex Never allow a woman to penetrate you (no dildos, strapon's, fingers, etc. up your ass). Seeing you penetrated will lower your value and kill attraction. Go find a secret lover, and depending if it is legal in your area, pay somebody else to do it to you professional to ensure confidentiality, if you have the need to be penetrated. My experience in alternative sexualities and communities has shown me, that unless a man can regularly address her emotional needs, and can display dominance in all other parts of the relationship on a near-perfect consistent basis, except this one issue of being penetrated by her, then the relationship has a chance of working. But it is a slim chance. Intellectual rationalizations will only beat out primal instincts for so long. She will cheat on him, with a similar, or more dominant male.

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There are some men that re-frame this act, as an act of manhood. To see how much of it he can take. To prove how strong and manly he is, he takes things up the ass. If this frame works for you, and you are still able to attract w o m e n , and are fortunate enough to consistently find women that desire to be with submissive males, then power to you. It is rare. I certainly would not want to be you though, if and when you go through a long drawn out divorce court proceedings. Remember that women talk, and all of her friends will eventually find out. Make sure you are fine with this. The only time a woman might not tell, is if her reputation would be adversely affected (i.e. she is a politician, and her rep must be near flawless) I have talked to many women that have experienced this. Many women will go for it, if for no other reason than just to see what it is like. However, the women never like it as much as they think they might, and it makes them feel very weird towards their male lovers. It is rare that the relationships last for too long. Why Men Like Easy Women It is not just the sex that men like. Men like easy women so that men themselves do not have to take responsibility for the sex. The type of men that ONLY date easy women are those men that have real fear issues with leading the relationship. It is easier for them to be with women that are "easy" so the men can blame the women for sex. Men who do this are WEAK, not open-minded. Let's reframe this first. ALL women get sexually turned on (unless she is an exception like an asexual chick, but as a seducer interested in sex, you don't seek out those exceptions). Some men influence her to be turned on, start to feel guilty about it, and then stop leading. That is what kills the attraction. If you are a man that does this, you still have to deal with your own issues about "easy" women. Dude, WOMEN ARE ALL CAPABLE OF BEING TURNED ON THAT WAY. Learn

to handle your own sexuality, so you can lead her sexuality. This is about your responsibility as a man about you own sexuality. I often hear from guys that either had the opportunity for sex and did not go for it, or did have sex, and then verbally put her down for being easy. Guys, you did what you did and you may not feel comfortable with it. You are "hoping" she was "easy" so that you don't have to be responsible for your own sexual desire. Part of being a man is to be able to take responsibility for your sexuality. That is why you did not lead they way you should have. Listen, we are guys and we have sex. Creating these excuses is like taking the role of the girl. You are making her responsible for having sex with you. "She turned me so horny that I had to fuck her" is exactly like saying "It was just meant to be" or "I was drunk and I didn't know what I was thinking". As soon as you hear yourself thinking like this remember this: Having all the gimmicks of a high value male isn't enough if you're not getting laid. It's nice to have all this stuff taken care of in your lifestyle, but if you don't have sex and you're uncomfortable with your sexuality, then guess what? IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SLIGHT DIFFERENCE. Why Men Like Exceptionally Beautiful Women When I say exceptional beautiful women, I mean when men have such high standards of what they seek in the looks of the women they will have sex with, such that, the men do not end up having sex at all. It is for the same reason that men like easy women. If she is totally absolutely drop dead gorgeous, then he feels relieved of his responsibility for his sexuality. He gets to "blame" her for being turned on and desirous of sex.

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This is very common with men that have been abused, and men that are adult virgins. They are so afraid of sex, or associate emotional pain with sex, that they raise their standards to a level that is not realistic with their ability to attract the w o m e n they claim to desire.

How to be Dominant when She is More Sexually Experienced Than You This is for all the virgins out there, and those guys who end up dating women that have more sexual experience than you do. (And that is MOST men, though their women would not readily admit it). The issue is not if you have more experience than she. The issue is, are you comfortable with your sexuality? If so, then it does not matter how many more dicks she has had before you. You let your comfort with your own sexuality LEAD the experience for both of you. That is it. This is not easy, but it is YOUR job. I know guys that are adult aged male virgins (between 25-40), and when they choose to tell their potential female sex partners it usually scares the women off. If you tell her that you are massively sexually less experienced than her, or even if it is not true but that is her impression of you, she will use that as an excuse to break it off.

Author's Note: For more on this topic, check out my upcoming book: The Adult Male Virgin Handbook

Super sexually experienced girls like the idea of doing male virgins for the STD reasons, but average girls are too afraid of the guys getting way too attached to girls after the sex happens. Women fear the sexually inexperienced because women fear these guys will turn into stalkers and possibly kill them.

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If you are comfortable with sex, sexual issues, and your own sexuality, then feel free to tell the girls about your lack of experience when it comes up. Your own comfort with it, is a sign of dominance. Otherwise, if you are not comfortable with it, then keep your mouth SHUT on the topic UNTIL after you fuck. Even then, do not bring it up.

Sex and Responsibility Men must take responsibility for sex. The nature of the sexual aspect of the relationship is 100% the man's R E S P O N S I B I L I T Y . W o m e n need men just as men need women. One client of mine once stated that when he was 16 and just learning about sexuality, he came across a lesbian website that stated that women do not need men, because vibrators are more efficient. For partly this reason, his view on sex and relationship with women was so warped, that when I met with him at the age of 23, he was still a virgin incapable of going on a date. For him, and guys like him, I say this to you: W O M E N NEED MEN. REAL MEN, NOT PLASTIC. She obviously needs a man. She doesn't want to be responsible for making any decisions, including the responsibility of hooking up with you, though she DOES want to hook up with you. She is interested, because you are an escape. Be the man. Be her escape. Be her adventure. The best part about being a man, is that she gets to blame you. That is what I think she is looking for.

Women and Sexual Innuendo This is why many women like sexual Innuendo talk. It allows them the freedom of exploring sexual r e a l i t i e s , but n o n e of the r e s p o n s i b i l i t y of t h e sex. If you are looking to master a skill that will make both you and her feel more comfortable with sex, this skill of sexual innuendo talk would be a good place to start.

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Always remember that protection (sex) is ALL the man's responsibility. Never the woman's. I know one w o m a n , that every time she breaks up with a boyfriend, she gives me all the unused condoms and sex oils etc... because "it reminds her of him". Bull. She gives it to me because she does not want to be seen as a slut by the next guy that she has sex with. If she is prepared with condoms, it could be she is afraid it could hurt her reputation (see emotional need number one). That is why when she cheats on you, she may not have a condom on her. Sex and Responsibility - Untold Stories Oh boy, this is gonna hurt. Ok guys here are a couple of stories that may freak you out. Part of being responsible for sex is: 1-Using YOUR condom, not hers 2-Discarding your used condom in a place where she can not get to it 3-Keeping your condoms in a place no one can get to it Here is why. Sometimes women get super strong urges not just for sex, but to also get pregnant. This emotional urge clouds judgment. This may include female teenagers as young as 12 who seek out a pregnancy. If you are a high value male (a man who addresses all her emotional needs), or a male that would be d e e m e d a solid financial provider (like a famous athlete or law firm partner) she will feel the overwhelming urge to get pregnant by you. There are stories of some women who punch holes in their condoms so that they can get pregnant by their boyfriends and husbands, although the men weren't interested in fathering a child. That explains #1 above.

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As for #2, these same women will fish out your used and discarded condoms, pull them inside out, and insert it into herself to try to get pregnant. So if you drop your used condom into the toilet, but do not flush (yellow it's all mellow? Give me a break you urine-smelling sexless retards) she can get access to your sperm. When you discard your used condom, do so in a way that hides it, and is not accessible by her. As for #3, if she is in that get pregnant mind frame, and she has free access to your condom, guess what she is going to do? Free access to your condoms is also dangerous for another reason. Potential for revenge. If she knows you have multiple lovers, and if she is just a cunt that likes to manipulate others for fun, she might pokes holes in them, so you get your other girls pregnant. Lastly, I present this tale: I was watching one of those hidden camera TV shows, and one of the scenes showed some male roommate going into his other roommates bedroom and punched holes in the other roommates condom. That idiot later claimed it "was a joke to get revenge" for something that happened around the house. Yeeeesh!

Keep those condoms safe!

Sperm Bank Donations Making a deposit into a sperm bank for your sperm to be used by infertile couples, single women w i s h i n g to be m o t h e r s , or married lesbian c o u p l e s is the ONLY EXCEPTION to it being your responsibility if she gets pregnant. The whole point of a sperm bank is to create distance between the sperm donor (you) and the potential offspring. No man should be held responsible if the woman goes through a sperm bank. I fully support this system.

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Abortions, Birth Control and STDs Notwithstanding the previous section, it is the Man's fault if she gets pregnant. Birth Control is the Man's Responsibility, not the woman's. It may be her body... but it is YOUR responsibility if she ends up being pregnant. THAT is why she gets to choose if she gets the abortion or not, and you don't have a say. If pregnant, YOUR irresponsibility has entered HER BODY. She deserves the right to decide to terminate, keep it, or give it up for adoption. A man has every right to tell her what he would prefer for her to do... BUT... and boys listen up: YOU AS THE MAN HAD YOUR CHANCE TO BE IN CONTROL OF PREVENTING THIS BEFORE SHE GOT PREGNANT. YOU SCREWED UP. THUS YOU MUST BE A MAN AND DEAL WITH WHATEVER CONSEQUENCES SHE DECIDES ON. When a girl gets an unwanted pregnancy, the man has just proven that he is incapable of being in the lead, so he automatically forfeits his rights to have any say as to whether or not she should or should not have the child. If she goes through with the abortion, BE A MAN. •You pay for it •You be there to protect her from the protestors outside •You be there to hold her hand •You be there afterwards to care for her

Assuming of course, that you are sure it is yours. If you don't know, and if there is even the SLIGHTEST chance that it COULD be yours... then follow through and BE A MAN.

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I have my own opinions about abortion. Personally, I think of it as a necessary evil. I think it would be great to live in a world w h e r e every child c o n c e i v e d is brought out to live. But that is an intellectual construct. A child must have 3 things being brought into this world: 1 -It must be WANTED (provided with totally unconditional LOVE) 2-lt must be CARED FOR (provided for its basic needs, food shelter, clothing, education and so on) 3-lt must be RASIED (be taught values and social intelligence) If the child is not even wanted, the rest just does not matter. For this reason... Abortion is a necessary evil for a realistically imperfect world. Yeah yeah, I know... What if the person being aborted could be the next Mozart, or Freud, or your S O U L M A T E ? T h a t line of t h i n k i n g will get you nowhere. That person could also become the next Hitler, Charlie Mason or your WORST ENEMY. The world can not miss what it never had.... good or bad. Condoms and other birth control fall under the man's responsibilities, not the woman's. If she controls the protection, she controls the sex, the reproduction choice of having kids, and t h u s , she c o n t r o l s the f r a m e . That is the overall issue. You are putting "your" health and safety at risk, and also t h o s e of your other lovers. If you let her put you at risk, you lower your value to her in the long run. For those of you guys that have had to go through the experience of a lover of yours aborting the fetus you created with her: It sucks dude, and I am feeling for you. This is not at all an easy situation. You can expect to deal with some guilt issues. I would suggest that you go see her as soon as you can if you have not already. When it comes to paying for the

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abortion, save your money anywhere you can, and borrow if you must. That is the right thing to do. Expect a period of mourning for the both of you. You are both human. Some guys feel bad because they think of all the couples out there that are childless and WANT to have children, and for this reason feel they should pressure their lovers to have the kid. Be VERY careful with this line of thinking. Should you eat everything on your plate, even if you are not hungry, because there are children starving around the world? Same principle. These are self-destructive belief systems. Sorry if this s e e m s cold. Stop wasting your energy feeling sorry for yourself, the fetus, or for your lover for causing this situation, because right now, she needs you to be stronger than ever before, for the both of you. That is your NEW job, for failing at your first job (to keep from getting her pregnant). Guilt leads to poor decisions. Stop wasting your money and time on this nonsense of drinking of trying to pick up new lays in bars while your guilt is already telling you w h a t is your priority. Save your money, and arrange to take care of your lover. Your guilt can either propel you to do the right thing, or to destroy yourself. You do have control on the choice you make. Here is a story to illustrate the importance of you, the man, being totally responsible for the birth control and the sex. I hope this scares some of you to step up.

The Story of the STD Girl Because I have presented myself as the kind of man that women can be honest too, I am usually privy to the truth about all the different STDs the women I know

112 either have, or have had and got rid of, or the diseases they thought they may be at risk for. One of those women told me about having herpes. This girl does not abstain from sex. In fact, she strips for a living (giving contact dances) and goes out regularly to make out with guys at clubs (that is what she said at first). - Basically she meets guys in clubs, fools around, but does not go home with them nor meet them again so that she does not have sex with them. That was the initial impression I got from her from our talks. THEN as we got more and more rapport and comfort, she opened up, and tells me... Under ADVISEMENT of a sex counselor... she is NOT to reveal that she has herpes for One Night Stands. The reason given is that if a person tells all his/her One Night Stand lovers about having the disease, then her privacy could be compromised because people talk. Then she told me that she believes the law doesn't require her to tell her lovers that she has herpes. Also, it is hard to prove a negative. If she infects some guy, he has to prove that she had unprotected sex with him, and prove that he got it from her and not some other source. This girl is young (18) looks hot and healthy. If she did not tell you about the herpes, you'd never know unless she had a break out around her lips and mouth or her. She does not strip when she has such breakouts. What I am trying to say here guys is that if you game a chick, and make out in a club, but no sex, consider the remote possibility it is not your lack in game... but an act of mercy on her part. Bear in mind that even if you ask, they may believe they are under no obligation to tell you. Asking

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her for truth does not automatically mean you will be covered by her supposed honesty. One last thing to consider. Some of the men I counsel have admitted to me that they regularly have unprotected sex. Even if your girl may not have an STD that she knows about, you really have no idea about the other guys and girls she may have fucked.

Sex and Sexual Skills There is an unwritten rule that men MUST be great lovers. Unfortunately this puts incredible pressure on them to perform, and if they start being sexually active later on in life, the pressure is even worse for them. Guys, I wish I could say that she does not in fact expect a lot from you, but dudes, sorry. She HOPES a great deal from you. If you are young (18-22), she is more than comfortable if you are still a virgin, or just lacking in experience. HOWEVER, once you get past 24, you will not have an excuse. You MUST learn to be good in bed. Think about it like this: When you are responsible for something, you look after all the details, and structure the event so that you are the one that makes something happen, (or makes it possible for it to happen). No one else is to blame if it's bad, no one else gets the credit if it's good. W h e n you interact with a woman, you are also responsible for her enjoyment or her boredom. If she has a great time, it is your fault, if she has a boring time, it is your fault. Let me tell you a story. When I was about 16, and horny as hell but still a virgin, I was very concerned about my sexual skills. So I spent many hours reading everything I could about how to be good in bed, so that when I finally did lose my virginity, I would be ready. Well the day finally came a few years later. I am so thankful for those hours of study reading medical text books on women's bodies and sexuality (of all things).

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They gave everything that I needed to know for my first time. I was not "the most amazing yadda yadda yadda"... but for a first time, I was OK. Things like staying hard while I put on the condom were some of the obstacles I had to over come, but I was still OK. Being OK meant I got to earn more practice... and practice I did. I got to practice practice practice! It was a great 6 months. Sigh. Why Some Guys Can't Keep It Up Barring any physical reasons... Here is my take: We spend so much time learning about how to be the man, that when a woman wants us and takes the lead, regardless of how hot she is, we know that fucking her is following her lead and thus, we lose the erection. We want so much to "do it right" that we forget to "just do it". Guys that do not take the lead, never realize that is partly why they are not turned on. It is instinct, not logic. This is a prime reason why below average guys, more than seducers, need super hot chicks, to relieve the men of responsibility of their sexuality. Only a super hot chick can make him keep the hard on because he feels he does not have to take responsibility for his desire. Otherwise, with him not leading, he can not get it up for her. Again, that is why "easy" women are cherished by these men. That was the ultimate learning for me. Being turned on is NOT about her effect on you, it is about you being turned on by how you handle the situation. Power and control are the best aphrodisiacs. Take responsibility to get the same feeling of power and control. In the meanwhile, roll on the condom while you are soft, and grow into it, so that when the time comes to penetrate her, you are ready to go.

The Pressure of Performance Anxiety

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All this talk of the need to give the woman an unforgettable experience, brings up performance anxiety. Men start to ask, "Am I ENOUGH for her in bed? Am I any good? Has she had better?" (Chances are that YES, she has had better, but if that were enough, she would not be with you right now'. Men sometimes get so focused on being "good", that the anxiety makes them "bad". Aw, dudes, slow down, and give yourself a break man. Look, here is what I do.... Do not put the pressure on yourself like that. You have to penetrate her, yes ...but do not expect her to cum from penile penetration. Just get your dick in there, and then make her have an unforgettable experience, not with the dick penetration, but with everything else like music, body sensations, the use of food, massage, vibrators, etc... When you focus on making her cum, do it not with your dick in her. Dudes, chill. You are all going to do ok. Have you tried a vibrator as a present to her? Maybe offer to give her a m a s s a g e , and slowly undress her as you apply the hot oils. ..then "lead" (not let) it happen naturally. Her experience is not your dick. It is everything that comes with the dick. Does this help at all?

So what counts as "sex"? In this next section, whenever I use the word "penetration", I am referring to penis-in-the-vagina penetration. Whenever I talk about having sex, what I mean is IT DOES NOT COUNT IF YOU DON'T PENIS PENETRATE HER VAGINA WITH YOUR DICK. Vibrators, fingers, corn-cobs just do not count. She is a w o m a n . No p e n e t r a t i o n could allow her to rationalize "Does NOT count". Penetration has a different psychological effect and meaning for women than men. More than that, it is a frame of mind so that the woman does not feel like she is having sex. This is

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useful is she is cheating on someone by having anal sex. Other sex that does not count include: If she is an exlover of yours, or there is a special connection between you two, then it does not count as cheating if her and you do something. To a man, it does count, but to a woman it is rationalized as not counting. I once got an ex-lover who came over for dinner, to flash her tits to me on video camera during the meal by saying, "Baby it's me, it does not count." She had a new boyfriend at the time. Women use the words "It does not count" for sex whenever they have remorse for doing something. Certain one night stands don't count. Maybe blow jobs do not count. Assfucking does not count... Sex with an ex-lover that will not break up the relationship does not count. Sex with a gay guy that just wants to see what it is like to f u c k a w o m a n does not count, sex with a woman does not count... it is just a way to lead the frame. For some women, if the sex involves penetration with a penis BUT it is with someone that will not threaten her primary relationship, it also does not count. For example, a woman does not see it as cheating on her boyfriend if she has sex with a couple for a threesome. An another example is that a woman may claim not to have sex for 8 months, because she does not count the one night stand from a club she did when she hit the no-sex¬ for-six-months-mark. Some women do not even consider themselves bisexual if they have sex with another woman because there was no emotion nor a penis involved. See what I mean? For men, I am telling you that sex does not count if you don't fuck with your penis inside her. Everything else (including anal-sex) is just fore play. Why?

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Because in a woman's world, anything other than PenisVagina penetration... does not count... and as men, we need to reflect that in our understanding of w o m e n . It means something different because of the risk of pregnancy. That is the evolutionary biological significance. If you fuck her in the ass, the mouth, but NOT the pussy... it is not a lay (fun time notwithstanding).

There is a female psychological aspect to consider. When you do everything else sexually (including anal sex) with a woman EXCEPT vaginal penetration, she will back rationalize that there is something wrong (with you: low value man, with her: she's not attractive enough, or with the two of you together: it is not meant to be) and she will use this as a reason to flake, or end the interaction for all future encounters. When you penetrate her vagina, even if you do nothing else sexually, she will back-rationalize that there M U S T be a r e a s o n w h y she w o u l d a l l o w h e r s e l f to POSSIBLY become PREGNANT, (even if you used a condom... evolution biological mechanisms do not recognize artificial birth control) and use that reason to see you again... assuming her emotional needs are met. The key here is that she will back-rationalize the action as to whether or not you were worthy of possibly getting her pregnant. For the same reason that a " b l o w job" does not count (no possibility of pregnancy due to lack of vagina penetration), anal sex also "does not count" for women. Think of it this way... depending on religious backgrounds, some women affirm they are virgins due to lack of vaginal penetration BUT t h e s e same w o m e n engage in ALL other forms of sexual activity (including anal) as part of the procedure of protecting their "virtue". These women keep their pussy pure and virginity intact for her future husband.

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If you are a man, and you are having a great relationship with a woman, and you have done everything else EXCEPT penetrate her vagina with your p e n i s , t h e n w h a t I am say is g o i n g to really s o u n d discouraging with this, but I think you are getting lost in the romance of it... This was NOT a great r e l a t i o n s h i p . . . you did not fuck her. Yes, I do congratulate you on the tremendous accomplishments, but you have not completed this task. You need to fuck her. Otherwise, when she remembers you after you are both long and broken up, she will remember you as a guy that simply did not count. By the way, for sex to count, you must penetrate her, but you do not have to have an orgasm. As long as you slide it in, maybe even for just one thrust, it counts. You do not need an orgasm to make that happen. When women want you to come inside her... there is a reason. First is that for stamina reasons you are less likely to cheat. The second is that women believe that coming inside her has a psychological effect for men. For some men it does. For other men it does not. Careful out there, ladies.

That is why you MUST fuck her Not having sex when the pump is prime is a touchy subject. If you did not try to penetrate her, then it could signal to her that S H E needs to be responsible for the sex, and in time she will resent it. My experience tells me that in the world of lesser evils, bad-sexual-intercourse is usually better than no-sex-now-andbetter-sex-later. Not just because it puts more pressure in the future, but more so because of the way women process information. She is likely to come to the conclusion that she should not ever sleep with you, or really make you wait for it if you stick around. That is why you must go for it sooner than

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later. By going for sex, and having sex, you sexualize the relationship. I say the following from experience. I have had relationships where I waited months to have sex, and I have had relationships where we had sex right away. The ones where the sex happened right away where by far, THE BEST RELATIONSHIPS EVER. Once the sex happens, and is done, and out of the way, a man can focus on the OTHER parts of the relationship without the distraction of trying to figure out what she looks like naked, nor HOW to get her into bed. The BEST female friends I can have are those that I already fucked, and released the sexual tensions with. (And this is one of the biggest reasons why co-workers fuck). If you are going to turn down sex, you have to do it from a frame of abundance, not morality or fear. If you turn down sex with her because you want to build up the relationship first (and s o m e guys A R E like that) then be sure to TELL HER this is the reason. Otherwise she will assume something is wrong with you, and that you are not a high value male. If you did not even TRY to penetrate her, she " c o u l d " be glad that you are willing to move slowly, but that re-enforces a low value male presence. I think you may be telegraphing you place a low value on her. Not good. You will then have to fight the tendency to put more pressure on both of you for sex in the coming dates. One of the greatest compliments in the world that you can give to a girl is to fuck her. How failing this test makes her your mother The only thing women want to control is the children, not their men. When their husbands and boyfriends become like their children, and the women must assume control, w o m e n will cheat, and unless obligations or financial status is important enough, women will leave. If you are not enough of a challenge to her attempts to mother you, then you are not

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dominant. She must assume the role of your mother. Mothers tend not to want to fuck their own children. When a man does not have sex with her when it is time to go for it, she starts making up reason why you did not even try to penetrate her. Those reasons will only work against you in the dates to come. She might stay, but will always have the roaming eye for a higher value male to relieve her of the responsibility you put on her. She may not leave you, but your children with her might be fathered by a guy like me. Sorry if that seems unfair. How passing makes her your special lover Showing dominance and challenging her attempts to mother you make her feel relieved of the burden of looking out for you. You prove that you are strong enough to look out for yourself, and thus are strong enough to look out for both of you. Once she can not be your mother, she feels special, and MUST become your lover by default. When this leads to sex, it means you are taking the responsibility for having the sex (meaning you are man enough to take the lead, and are not turning it down due to your own insecurity) it allows her not to have to worry for you, and to just enjoy the ride. Assuming you tried to penetrate her, but backed off when she said "no", then you are still proving your aggressiveness and masculinity. She feels reassured that you will lead and she does not have to be responsible for the sex. Therefore she is free to have sex and become your lover.

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Emotional Need Number -5 Fear of Abandonment. Make Her Feel Secure.

This is part biological programming, as in the event she is left with a child, she needs to be sure that she will not be abandoned, and left alone to care for it. Your lover must be reassured that you are not looking to replace her after she has sex with you.

How important is this one? This is 50% of the reason that average guys still do get married even if they are not seducers. (The other 50% is demonstrating having high quality sperm). Marriage does not mean she will be faithful to him all her life, but that she will marry him, and her kids will probably be his. Although important to getting married, addressing this emotional need alone may not be enough to get you sex. In fact, a man that makes her feel TOO secure regarding abandonment comes off as being a man that exhibits too much neediness. A man that does not make her feel secure enough comes off as a "hearts player", and she feels abandonment is assured.

Last Minute Hesitations It represents a woman's last minute hesitation to having sex with you, despite the fact you have had a wonderful time together on a date. It will be based on her fear of abandonment from you once you get the sex. One of the ways to combat this is I would suggest making your 2nd , 3rd and 4th dates while still on the first date. These talks will indicate your ability to stick around after sex. For example, if you are riding the bus

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with her, and you pass by a local landmark, ask her if she has ever been there. If she has not, tell her that you and her will go there next week, and loosely plan the date. Do this a few times. (I am assuming that you would actual WANT to spend that time with her. Otherwise, ignore my suggestion)

Making Her Feel Unique By far the BEST way to address this is to make her feel she is unique to you. That she gets something from you no other women could ever totally replace. You do not tell her that she is UN-replaceable. You prove to her that she is unique to you. If you call her a great girl, you treat her like you would anybody else. That makes her less special. If you call her "a sweet love", etc... or other nickname, then you are the only one that sees her as different, as unique. There is a difference between saying you will never feel something again for anyone like you do for her, and saying that she is unique and what the two of you had together was special and different and no one else can give you the experience of her. Get it? If there is something unique about her, you will stick around longer to raise the kids. Man leads, women follow. That is the biological motivation. However, in order to ensure that a man will continue to take the active role of leader, protector and caregiver, he has to stick around. That is the security she seeks. If she feels that there was something unique about her in the first place, and THAT was the reason you wanted to fuck her to begin with, it again reassures her that you will stick around. She knows that her attraction and beauty will someday fade away with age, so she needs an added element to believe in that will keep you forever present in the event a prettier girl comes along.

Compliments So many guys think that they way to make her feel unique is to compliment her. And yes, complimenting her does help... BUT, if you are a low value man, then compliments will not help you create attraction to her. If you present yourself as a high value male, then the compliment will mean something more. To a woman, a compliment from a loser means nothing. To a w o m a n , a c o m p l i m e n t f r o m an accomplished seducer means a high value person places value on you. If you do compliment women, then make sure that you do NOT OVER compliment them. There are two possible outcomes of over-complimenting. If you over compliment: 1-She might start to feel she is too good for you. 2-OR she will start to worry that you will leave her if you realize that you are not good enough for her. For both these reasons she will break up with you, one because she wants better than you, and two she will break up with you before you break up with her. I either case, she will likely be cheating on you with a guy that is not OVERLY NICE to her. A guy that compliments TOO MUCH comes across as insincere, and willing to say anything he has to, to get into her pants. And that will take us into the next emotional need of TRUST. Just like a Smithers that is a "yes" man to an uncaring Mr. Burns, so will she not see value in you. A low value man tries to appease others. A high value man is seen as telling it like it is.

Flirting Flirting is a good way to break the ice, but having the reputation of a flirt will work against you. Sort

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of like the story of the Boy Who Cried Wolf. When women think of you as just a big flirt, they will not believe that you sincerely are interested in any one particular lady, even if one day, you actually are. The issue underneath is whether or not each woman is made to feel unique. That is what makes the difference... if you flirt with every girl the same way, then you are a just a flirt and insincere ...if you flirt differently with each one AND make each one feel unique, then you are of higher value because you make them all feel special.

Telling Her to Leave Sometimes in the heat of an argument a man might say to a woman things like, "If you don't like it, you should leave." Or he might threaten to leave. Sometimes this works... other times this does not. The way this can and does work is when you INTEND to carry it out. Period. Otherwise, it is an empty threat, and women perceiving value of males, know that lower value males will rarely leave, but that higher value males will leave. Never ASK her if she wants to break up with you. You NEVER give a woman the option of leaving you by ASKING HER. She could interpret it as you WANTING her to leave. You must stay in control. You must be the one to say goodbye or not. Don't even go there. Furthermore, sometimes women will deliberately do something that will force a man to leave her, because she does not want to take responsibility for ending the relationship. This happens a lot to nice guys. She wants to end it, but intellectually knows it is a decent enough relationship to stay in it. Therefore she does something like cheat on him, so that he will break up with her, and she does not have to feel responsible for

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the end of the relationship, but she does feel more in control of it. It is not enough that the guy wants to be there for her; it is that he must be a high value man who finds her unique in some way.

Fear of PREGNANCY The fear of abandonment comes from that fact that she can get pregnant, and will be "stuck" raising your kids. (Evolution does not recognize adoption or abortion). As I mentioned above, She is taking a risk that if she has sex with you, she could get pregnant, e.g. a girl who is in naked in bed with you, says "I don't want to sleep with you because I have read that if a girl sleeps with guys right away, she'll never get married!" What is she insecure about? She is afraid of being abandoned, left alone to grow old. This issue must be addressed. Some women will actually be scared pregnant if her period is late, even if she has not months. It is irrational, but the fear is very real. that, now imagine what the fear for them must actually HAVE sex?

that they are had any sex in Understanding be like if they

Abandonment: Short term flings and one night stands Abandonment does not really factor in to these set ups, because USUALLY the other emotional needs are met, specifically the High Quality Sperm need and the Emotional Range need. (The adventure of being with a high quality male, being safe, and not missing out due to time constraints). Not all women want kids at the moment. Don't be too sure about what you think they are expecting from you. Unless she starts talking kids or spending life together, do not assume she wants it. If she brings it up at all, it is a test. Address the emotional need of making her feel unique, despite not having a future together, and just enjoy your time together. Also, this is YOUR time to

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experiment sexually. Pick something you have never tried before (public sex, etc..) and go for it. THAT is the goal here with short term flings and one night stands. Experimenting with your own boundaries.

Big Test: When she tells you she thinks she can not have kids This is an incredibly big test. Some women will say this just to see your reaction to it. They may actually be healthy in this regard. Other women may have age issues (being too old to conceive safely), and yet other may in fact have an actual problem. The best way to address this is HONESTLY. If you want children in your future, be honest. If you are open to adoption, or impregnating another woman, but raising it with your wife, be honest. If you desperately want to have children that are YOURS, from your loins, and made with your primary partner, and no other woman, damn it, be honest. Part of being a high value male is to know yourself, and to be honest about it, even if it costs you today's lay. Get it? By the way, showing you know w h a t you want is more attractive than saying, "I don't know." And just because you answer in a way that communicates to her that you will not stay with her forever, does not mean that she wouldn't still fuck you. Your directness in standing might be all she needs to still fuck you as a one night stand, or a short term fling, even if your long term plans for kids is not compatible with hers. Get it?

Feeling Beautiful and Desirable It is under this emotional need that we find the importance of women to look and feel beautiful to men. W h y d o e s she s p e n d all t h a t t i m e in the b a t h r o o m getting ready to leave the house? W h y does she spend all that time on clothes, and hair products? Why does she desperately fight the clock of time with age reducing

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a g e n t s ? It is T H I S e m o t i o n a l need behind it. Her fear of abandonment and need for security that causes it. A woman feels that as long as she is beautiful to YOU, she is not afraid of abandonment from you. She needs to know you find her desirable (she needs to know that she is attractive to you). This one is about there being something unique about her, that makes her beautiful to you, and that ensures you will keep coming back to her. This is WHY she needs you to remind her that you find her beautiful for something other than her looks (which fade in time). This is why they want to be told they are beautiful. One of the best ways to address this emotional need of women is to live out various fantasies with them. Every woman desires to be to be desired for her body. They fantasize about being in nude magazines, in porno, being prostitutes... but the fantasy is NOT primarily for the sex. It is the fantasy of being the totally desired starlet! Live out these fantasies with her. Have he pose nude for you, make sex videos at home with her, role-play a trick-hooker scene with her. Women LOVE this stuff, BUT few ever get to do it, because most guys can not handle it. If you don't s o m e o n e else will, and chances are, someone like me already has before she was your girl. Doing so makes t h e s e w o m e n d r e a m about you.

The Sabotage Sometimes, you find yourself dating a woman, and some major event in your life is coming up where you need to put serious focus on, and she will act out just before the event as if she wants you to fail. For example, you have a major career dependant exam, and the days leading up to it, where you should be seriously

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focused on studying, your girlfriend might act out to the point where the relationship might end. This is not her need for drama at play. It is her fear of abandonment. As a man, when you progress in your status (graduation of education, promotion at work, and so on), the w o m e n in y o u r life may N O T be as supportive as you'd think. If you are just dating her, she might be afraid that once you reach a new level in your status, that you might abandon her for another woman who is at a similar level. This is less likely if you are married to her, as your rise in status, brings up her own status for being married to y o u , but if you are j u s t dating her, and she feels you'd abandon her for someone else (even if you have no such intention), it will factor into her behavior. It is a test for many things, one of them being dominance. Are you dominant enough to withstand her, and still focus on bringing up your status, and to end the relationship is her behavior is unacceptable? The other is her need for drama. But the real underlying issue is her fear of abandonment. So address it before it becomes an issue.

That is why you MUST fuck her Nothing says to a woman that she is beautiful, unique to you, and worth sticking around like ramming her with your cock does. When you refuse to have sex with her, or you do not even try to make a pass to have sex with her, she assumes you are not really into her enough, and thus, you will probably leave her in the end. My guess is that she feels that he has already REJECTED her when the man does not fuck when it is time to fuck. Look at the situation: In her reality, SHE IS FEELING REJECTED BY HIM. In her mind, no man would stay long term with a w o m a n that he wasn't crazy about fucking every c h a n c e her c o u l d . She w a n t s you to desire her d u d e , so that she is sure you will not abandon her.

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How failing this test makes her your mother When you do not address her emotional need of fear of a b a n d o n m e n t and make her feel that she is secure, you present yourself as a low value male. Low value males will always abandon a woman because he is not alpha enough to handle whatever is going to happen, and is too weak to deal with it. So he will run away. Biologically speaking, she will feel attracted to the male t h a t will best insure t h a t her kids will also procreate and pass along her genetic material. Part of that security is for the male to stick around and ensure that her kids will survive. If you are willing to abandon her, then if she has a child with you, both she and the child may not survive. If you act like you will abandon her, she will take on the MOTHER role, not only to raise the child, but she will have to count on herself, not you to raise the both of you. Once this happens, she loses attraction for you. How passing makes her your special lover If she feels she is special to you, she will be reassured that you will stick around, which in turn means she has made the best choice in the males that have approached her. (Thus she has also chosen the best genes in you).... which means that your KIDS will ALSO be able to procreate. She is relieved that she does not have to burden raising the children alone, and thus, free of that burden, she feels she is special to you, and will fuck you, becoming your lover.

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Emotional Need Number -6 Her Trust in Your HONESTY

The best way to prove that she can trust you is to be extra super CONGRUENT with everything you say and do. The key here is if she can trust you to be honest with her; even if you know she will not like what you have to say. In a woman's reality, she is used to people lying to her ALL THE TIME because of the way she looks, or they simply want something from her (like quick access to her pussy). If you are willing to piss her off with your honesty, you have demonstrated that she can trust you. On Congruence Will you break your own rules? That is what they are testing you for with your Congruence. Sometimes, she will ask you about your rules, and then test you to see if you break t h e m . . . usually a b o u t sex. If you state that one of your rules is that you will not date a woman that smokes, she might go ahead and smoke right in front of you on your third date just to see if you will break up with her. If you do, she will pursue you if she feels you are a high value male. If she wanted you to break up with her, because she did not want to be responsible for the break up, then she will not pursue you. Knowing this now, make sure that you make your small rules known in the first couple of dates, so that you can be ready for the test, instead of telling her about the more important dealbreakers. The difference between a small rule and a big rule is that you would be willing to take her back after the break up of the violation of a small rule. Give her enough rope to hang herself. Besides, good fight is one of the ways to address her emotional needs as you will read in the next chapter.

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Relationships and Honesty Just to add something.... is it the lack of honesty that threatens relationships, or the inability for these relationship people to handle the others honesty? I have a theory that a lot of people will only be as honest with a person based on how much honesty they perceive that person to be able to handle. That being said, in a number of couples, would their partners be able to handle the honesty they claim to so desperately want, or is it the couple's need for illusions that keep the honesty to a minimum? I think one of the reasons people lie in relationships is because they genuinely do not want to hurt their partner, and are afraid that their partner will not be able to handle the honesty. In this respect, honesty could be what ends the relationship, and not being honest could be what keeps them together. One of the things I did with past partners w h e n I wanted to encourage honesty is that I taught myself how to handle truth. Meaning, that regardless of how bad the news, I would hold off acting on any emotion until I could be alone later. So when I get told really shocking news, I do withdraw, but I do not act out and explode. This has been KEY in getting people to talk to me with their truths. I don't promise not to get mad, I just promise not to act on that anger right away. I control the behavior, not the emotion. It has strengthened my connections with others. Don't ask for the truth if you can not handle it. If you really want honesty, be strong enough to take it. This is the real world. There is no having it both ways. If you ask for honesty but you react out of control, like you can not handle honesty w e l l , you are going to train everyone to start lying to you. Sorry, but you need to keep things in perspective. If you are losing yourself in your rage, and it will destroy everything you love.

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Frank B Kermit's Rule of Honesty People will only tend to be as honest with you as much as you give the image of what you can handle.

Trust and Honesty are a two way street. 1- First comes the issue if she can trust you to be honest. 2- Next comes the issue if you are strong enough to handle her telling you the truth

Can she trust you to be HONEST? It is the importance of DIRECTNESS that will convince her you are honest. When you get wishy-washy on a topic, a woman will automatically assume you are lying to her, for fear that of hurting her with honesty. That is why your answers with her must be exact and direct. When she asks you if you like her latest hair style and you respond with a "I sort of think that hair style is Ok for some girls...", You as a man might be saying it as a compliment. BUT, she as a woman hears the LACK of directness to her question: "Do I * look good with it?" As honest as you are being, the lack of directness in your language is what makes her not trust you. r

For this reason, Charlie Brown is NOT attractive. That is why he never fucked the little red-haired girl.

Author's Note: And do not even try to tell me about that episode where the little red haired girl sent him a note saying that she loved him. First there is no way to know if it was her, or some other kids playing a prank (kids can be cruel you know), and second it is a media produced cartoon catering to the fantasies of losers. In real like, he would

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never have gotten any attention for his wishy-washy behavior.

Can she trust that you can Handle her Honesty? You must consider if you present yourself as the type of a man that can HANDLE the honesty. Do you present yourself as the kind of guy that would accept that side of her? Have you ever criticized her for any expression of that part of her? Have you denounced other women for their similar behavior that she knows of? If you have, you must realize that you can not have it both ways in the real world. One of the ways I manage my harem is that I NEVER criticize any of them, or any women for that matter, that exhibit any parts of themselves that I would want to know the truth about. Women will test you on this... they will ask you your opinion of how a girl is dressed, or what her friend did last night, etc... This is a TEST. What she really wants to know is if you can handle her own truth. A woman will only be as honest as you demonstrate that you can handle it. When she is talking about others, she might actually be talking about herself and testing you to see if you can handle an up-coming confession.

Players versus the Player Wannabes A player is someone who is seen as already naturally good with women, but just learns more to augment his already natural ability. It is believed that a player has natural abilities, and alpha male traits, which may have been buried, and that if he is learning about being a seducer, it is only a part of his natural process. A player-wannabe is someone who is ONLY good with women IF he has to learn it. He learns how to

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be with women to supplement his LACK of natural ability. It is believed that the player-wannabe will NEVER amount to having a fulfilling love life, because she simply lacks the capacity of the alpha male traits. When it comes to the topic of TRUST dealing with honesty, a player is still trusted to be a player. It is the playerwannabe that is not expected to be honest, as he must fake being a player. Be sure that wannabes can fake it enough that they can, and do get w o m e n . The issue is that they do not keep the women around for very long, because they are not being honest with themselves, or with the women Sometimes, for men that do well with women, he will be tested to see if he is a real player, or a faking w a n n a b e . W h a t she is testing for is if you are for real, or fake. It is OK for a woman to know you are a player. That adds value to you, and raises their attraction (usually). BUT it is NOT ok for her to think that you are just some wannabe going through the motions. You just beta yourself. This is why I love my term of Seducer-in-training. Instead of simply saying I am some guy that is learning how to get good with w o m e n , I claim that I was, (and in many respects still am) a Seducer-in-training. I am a seducer, and I have always been a seducer. Now, I am just doing more intense training. Think about it this way. There is the guy that goes to the gym and works out sometimes. Then there is the guy that is a bodybuilder in training. The first guy does not have it in him to make his hobby a lifestyle. The second guy is living the lifestyle, and just learning a pre scribed methodology that provides results as he eventually progresses to etching out his own work out style that is unique to him, which is the similar goal for seducers. The desire to develop into natural seductive beings. Women need to believe that being a player is a part of who you already are, and that you are naturally that way. If you take that away, you will fall into the wannabe category in her mind. Short term she may over

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look it if she likes you enough, but long term you will suffer for it. If you find that upon learning that you are a seducer-intraining that she is always testing you instead of blowing you, it is a sign that she isn't sure anymore that she is being with you because you honestly attracted her, or if you dishonestly tricked her. My own take on this topic of letting her know that you are a seducer-in-training, is to just avoid the issue altogether. As honest as you might be, she may still suspect that you are just a wannabe, and not the real deal. At this point in my development, there is very little about relationships and sexuality that I have not read or studied. I have proven skill and results in the field as my book, From Loser to Seducer, testifies, and I have met and counseled enough men, who have developed fantastic relationships with women because of it. My track record is decent if I do say so myself. I am not great, but I am pretty keen. In the next 2-3 years I hope that I will be privy to hearing from many of the guys that I have helped, that they are announcing the births of their first children, with the women who adore them. When * l * say to women NOW that I am a seducer (and still a seducer-in-training) I do so with an environment of respect around me. When I was at the beginning of my development, I tried to tell w o m e n about it, and they simply thought me a loser. So my advice is to just avoid this issue although. When a woman tests you about being naturally good with women or if you are lying your way into her coochie, you must look at the emotional need she communicated in her tests. She is INSECURE. Why? She isn't sure if she gave herself to a real player (a natural) or a beta-player-wannabe. Being thought of as a player is not necessarily a bad thing. However, being thought of as a wannabe, or a player-intraining is a celibacy sentence. One of the key elements is when a man uses another man's lines and stories. The real player has his own life stories to tell,

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and lines based on his own personal life philosophies. The wannabe just uses others guys material INSTEAD of his own. Wannabes are just lazy and deceptive this way. In fact, popular media makes out the seducer to be akin to drug dealers and criminals. I have news for you, my dear readers. It is not the true seducers that use drugs, alcohol and the like, it is the wannabes that use those things like a crutch. The wannabes need those things. The seducer is only interested in connecting with sex, and not spending money on those types of desperate forms of cohesion. This is a KEY reason that in my Story Telling Seminars, I instruct all the men that attend to come in with a list of their best childhood memories and peak life experiences. I teach t h e m how to express their own personal life stories in an interesting and seductive way to connect to women's emotional realities. I don't ever give them MY stories, because they are MY stories. I do not want a thousand Brother Kermit clones out there. I want to teach men, to be their own men. Otherwise I would just be creating a bunch of Brother-Kermit wannabes. Who the HELL needs that? A player is seen as his own man, his own self. A player can be trusted to be a player, a natural lover of many women. A wannabe cannot even be trusted for that. If women trust you, and you are wanted by other women for being a player, women will forgive you for your player ways. If you want to live like a player, but you do not address her emotional needs, then you are seen as a wannabe who just gets laid. The women do not stick around, and the women gain even more trust issues in the future when other men want to date them. The Player There are three draw backs from being labeled a player. Be sure you are ready for the consequences if you wear this badge outwardly.

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Guilty by Assumed Association A player is sometimes confused and taken for a drunk that hurts women, lies to them, and is insincere. If she has issues with players, you are going to get the brunt of that. It all comes down to the emotional need for trust in your honesty. That is why a player must be honest about his love of women. Never Allowed A Bad Day One of the other drawbacks of being thought of as a player is that once you are labeled a player, you are not allowed to have a bad day. Some days, I feel like I am top of the world. Other days, I look at areas of my life (like my weight) where I could be doing better, just like every other human being. I guess what irks me personally is that once you take on the label of player or seducer, you never get to be off. Once you are labeled, you are scrutinized even more, and any mistake you do, then is magnified. At one point in my life, I had a really bad year. It included deaths in the family, my own health concerns, financial suffering, loss of a job, and a few other things on top of all that. It all happened in a relatively short time span. I hit some lows, and they affected my relationships terribly. Since I was seen as a seducer by my lovers, it turns out that getting low was not acceptable. It caused strains that I was not able to manage at all times in my relationships, and I lost a lot of companionship because of it. Can't Be Too Good I have found that women will literally RUN away from me, or refuse to go out with me, if they feel I am TOO good at addressing her emotional needs. This is still a concept that I struggle to grasp, because the idea that I am that "high value" in her eyes, such that she disqualifies herself for me, is just still too new to me. This was especially true for me once I published my first

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book, and augmented my wardrobe to dress the part. At that point, exceptionally beautiful women would regularly approach me, but the girls that I would really liked to have dated were afraid that I was not "serious" enough in liking them. I need to better address her emotional need of fear of abandonment for this. They don't believe that I will "stick around" for more than a lay. Except that I am more into having relationships instead of just one night s t a n d s , u n l e s s I find a w o m a n t h a t I t h i n k is really special. A mentor of mine once saw me interacting with one interesting girl at one of my book signings. At the end of the evening, despite her giving me all the signs that she was interested and attracted to me, w h e n I suggested that her and I meet again, she literally got super nervous and acted like a crazy elementary school girl, and ran away with her girlfriends. I asked my mentor what he thought of the situation. He claimed that I was too good at addressing her emotional needs and that she did in fact act run away from high levels of attraction. He also told me that after talking to her as well, that she was in all probability a lesbian there with her lesbian partner, and that I challenged her identity by causing her to feel an emotional and sexual connection with me. Yeesh! The more I learn, the less I know. Because of my weight, I often forget that once I address her emotional needs, she does not see me, they w a y I might see myself that day. E s p e c i a l l y if I am having an off day as most human beings do. Too much skill can actually be WORSE than not enough. The Player Wannabe

If you are going to use others peoples stories and life experiences word for word, style for style, and try to pass it of as your own, eventually you will get

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caught. Why? It is easier to copy someone else than it is to do original personal material. And most men in this area take the easy way out. You won't be the only one, and women catch on. All that being said, the issue is really that using someone else's material makes you come off as a wannabe and a liar. Even an average guy that is congruently an average guy eventually gets lucky even once in a while if he displays some form of value, and willing to play the dating game the wrong way (buying her attention). A wannabe is seen as even lower than an average guy, because of this. You try to act cool, but if she knows you don't fuck without being a trickster she sees you as just a "Try H a r d " . T r y - h a r d = player w a n n a b e . When a woman sees you as something worse than a player... she sees you as a player wannabe. A wannabe is someone that wants to be a smooth player but cannot close the deal. A beta male. Guys, get this next point: She does not hate you. She is afraid of you. Women all fear being killed for sex, like men fear being laughed at (embarrassment = emasculated). That is the fear women feel towards the player wannabe. In the mind of a woman: Sexual predators are beta males, and no w o m a n wants the risk of carrying on those genes in pregnancy. Guys who come off as wannabes are seen as beta males becoming predators to get laid. No woman wants to help beta males succeed (it's an evolutionary mechanism to weed out poor genes, and perpetuate our species), which is why most of your "friends" (both male and female) will BLOCK your attempts to hook up with women for sex. A true friend wants to see you get laid. A false friend sabotages your efforts due to their own ego or insecurity. Funny that huh? Opposite emotions motivating the "friends", but the same outcome of BLOCKING you.

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When a Guy PRETENDS he is not into sex A guy that pretends he is not into sex... is a liar. At least this is how women see it. The fact is, there are some guys out there that are not into sex with women. Some of them these men were sexually abused and sex is too emotionally painful. Some of these guys are gay. Some of these guys just have really low sexual libidos or a medical condition. Some of these guys are bodybuilders or athletes that save their sexual energy for the sport. Some of these guys have an STD and honorably refrain from possibly infecting women (I have heard them all). However, those mentioned above notwithstanding, most men pretend that they are not interested in sex, when they most surely are. Which is the reason these guys want a woman in their lives at all. Women just assume things about men. They assume men really know what they want. They assume men have fragile egos. If you are talking to her, or even looking at her, she assumes you already want to fuck her. They assume that everything out of your mouth has a purpose to tell her something about herself that she must figure out. Why? Because women play games. Look at the games women play. Women will claim they want to look their best and do it for self-esteem, but it is not. Make up, surgery, boob enhancement, dying hair, the amount of time they spend in the bathroom, the crusade to look younger... these are GAMES to gain male sexual attention. Since women play games, they simply assume that men play games too. We men are much simpler creatures, and just too damn lazy to play these kinds of games. All we want is to eat, sleep and fuck. Once we got that going on, we really don't care for much else. BUT, men of the new millennium are now FORCED to adopt the games women play in order just to get the basics going for

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relationships and sex. We did not start the games, but damn it, we will win the games. What a woman wants? I think a woman wants a man that is ready to admit that men are (or at least himself is) PIGS. In a woman's emotional reality, a guy that admits that he is a pig, does not need to take advantage of women as she feels he must already get laid. Most men say "I am not a pig." She knows it is a lie, just like a guy that says he just wants to be friends. When a guy says these types of things, and he MEANS it, that is when a woman is shocked out of her emotional reality. No man, unless he is gay, just wants to be friends with a w o m a n . He has a cock. Cocks and pussies can not be the best of non-sexual friends unless there is something disorderly going on. For this reason, I never promise a woman that we will not have sex: If you as a man promise not to have sex, she will immediately start testing you to see if you will keep your promise. Catch 22. If you keep your promise, she will trust you, but you won't get laid. If you try to fuck her (whether you get laid or not) you broke your promise, she can't trust you... you don't get laid in the future even if you get the one lay now. It is a no win situation. Never agree to this frame. When she can trust you to be a pig, it is matching her assumptions about men, and thus matching her beliefs within herself. Why do Men Lie? Men lie because it gets men laid. It works. Any man can lie about anything to get laid, and many men do. The average man does... that is part of the reason why women are conditioned to test men all the time. Because most men lie. Men are so touch starved, that in the absence of paying for sex, they feel that if they do not lie, they will not get laid. And this is

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true, if men do not know how to connect and communicate to women. Here is the key: If you can get to the point of learning conversation skills so that you don't have to lie, but can still get the lay, then you know you have achieved a level of mastery. And mastery leads to honesty. For example, lying about age. Women test men for different things. Your age could be one of them. If you do something that turns her off, she can use age as the "excuse" for dumping you. It is rarely the real reason. (Unless age is related to legal reasons). So lets say that you demonstrate high value by addressing her emotional needs, but you made a mistake that made her lose attraction for you... she may use your age as the "excuse" (too old or too young), not the thing that actually turned her off. The opposite is also true. So let's say that you demonstrate high value, AND you did something that made her gain attraction for you... she may use your age as the "excuse", not the thing that actually turned her on. Get it? I know one guy that displayed such high value (looks, education, career, lifestyle, language skills) that he got away with not telling a girlfriend of his, about his actual age for almost the first 3 MONTHS. He thought his age would work against him, so he turned it into an element of mystery in the relationship. The biggest reason that men lie is that many men have gotten BURNED for being too honest too soon. Just like I mentioned in the rules of Harem Multiple Women Management in my first book From Loser to Seducer, it is not the issue of IF one should be honest with a woman, but WHEN a man is honest. When I was building up open relationships, near the start of my h a r e m days, I met a woman that fascinated me. Let's call her "Thunder", because she did

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in fact rock my world. The reason I lost her was that I was honest with her. The Story of Kermit's Thunder / was steamed. I was completely honest with someone, and now feel that my honesty cost me. 1 was seeing a woman that I really connected with. In fact I connected so well with this person that we connected in areas 1 didn't realize were important to me. In the mists of dating, she told me that she wanted monogamy. 1 was honest and told her that I could be monogamous for only a short time, to build a foundation for our relationship, but that I am more open relationship minded and looking to maintain certain freedoms, that I would also respect for her. (The specific rules 1 go by are irrelevant) At first she seemed disappointed, and after a long discussion we agreed to take it one day at a time, and see where it goes. Well, that weekend she apparently thought it over (more like freaked out) and sent me an email Monday morning saying she couldn't handle open relationships and didn't want to see me again. Haven't heard from her since. Things were going AMAZING before this. I am really pissed off that being honest with her cost me. I don't know if that is the reality, but it is how 1 feel. If I had lied to her, I would have eventually fucked her, gotten her attached to me, and if she ever found out I was cheating, well, maybe that scenario isn't as bad as I think it might be. Because maybe she would have just forgiven me IF she ever found out. I stuck to my principles, and I did not even get a chance to see how far she and 1 could have gone. This is the reality of most men. They associate telling the truth with being alone. Since that time, I have learned how to manage this situation (as you will read in From Loser to Seducer), how to be honest enough, without being deceiving and still getting what I want. But

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the pain was real then, and it is still real now for many men. Why do Women Lie? Women lie because it gets women attention. Not the bad attention (like bad publicity), but whatever attention is meaningful to the particular girl. Respect, reverence, etc... and whatever emotions and rewards come from that attention (like the chance to be protected, cared for, taken care of, etc..) Men have proven they cannot handle women's truth so they lie. Women will only be as honest with a man as much as he proves he can handle her honesty. She does this by testing him with stories, and based on his reactions to her, she j u d g e s how much value he has in handling her honesty. When an ex-lover claims that she was not able to go further sexually with her new lover, because she was heart-broken over you, and you believe she had no reason to lie... W R O N G . She has EVERY reason to lie. If she lies, she still gets to keep calling you, and having you call her to be her emotional cookie man. Think, dude, think. If she was that hooked on you, then she would still be fucking you. That is why you MUST fuck her Women already assume that you want to fuck her. It is not a surprise. In fact, if you met her through a direct approach, then what are you possibly hiding? She already assumes that you are into sex. A guy who isn't blatant about wanting sex is dishonest. So you MUST fuck her, or at least make a pass at her, if you want to prove yourself an honest enough man. How failing this test makes her your mother When you are not honest with women, she feels she has to step up and take care of herself AND you

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since you cannot do it. She will assume a parent role with you, much like her instincts signal that she cannot trust her own children to be honest with her, thus she has to do all the thinking for both her and her children. If you will not be honest with her in the right way, she will find someone else to be honest with her. How passing makes her your special lover Not being afraid to piss her off makes you unlike every other man. She knows she can trust you, thus she can let her guard down. Women love guys that are so "player honest" because it means that the w o m e n can trust him. If women trust him, then when he makes her feel special by addressing her emotional needs, it is most meaningful. If you are willing to piss her off with honesty, then she feels that you do not just want her for sex, since you are willing to throw yourself on the grenade that just might cost you sex with her in the first place. She will feel that she is special to you, if sex with her is not t h e ONLY thing on your m i n d , since you are willing to risk it for a higher priority: TRUTH. Thus, she feels special, and has the overwhelming urge to suck and fuck your brains out.

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Emotional Need N u m b e r - 7 Her Physical Safety. Make her feel safe.

An ex-girlfriend of mine used to say this to me, and I include it in here, as I think it may give men a better understanding: Men are afraid of being laughed at; Women are afraid of being killed. As men, unless we are out taking a walk in some publicly known unsafe part of town, we tend to forget how threatened women can feel sometimes out in the world. Once I learned this concept I started to simply go out and just observe men and women on the street in public places, especially at night. Here is what I saw: • I saw women being approached by all kinds of men, from stylish player types to ragged street drunks. Sometimes they were safe, sometimes the women needed the assistance of other men on the street to scare away the drunks. •When women walked by men, or a group of men, some of t h o s e men w o u l d say nothing and just stare at the girls. Some of those stares were pleasant and in awe of her. Then some of those stares were angry at her for being so attractive. Then some of those stares were just down right menacing and even threatening, as if these guys would rape her if they thought they could get away with it. This issue of safety and protection for women is not only a biological element carried over from the time of cave men and dinosaur predators (I know, I know, they never existed at the same time, blah blah blah). It is a present day phenomena too, that women want to feel safe.

14 7 As safe a city you live in, you must know that she, as a woman, has a different experience of reality than you do as a man. YOU may feel safe, but she does not always feel safe. A man must demonstrate that he is capable of protecting her physically from the threats of the outside world to address this emotional need. One man I know used to give his lovers pepper spray key chains. This made the women feel protected by him. He never even had to get into a physical fist-fight to prove himself. Another way to do this is in the form of a story. Instead of saying to her, "You will be safe with me" (which can work sometimes)... tell her a story about how when you used to walk around with your ex, no one would bother her, but now, she keeps getting approached when going out with her current boyfriend or something like that. Maybe a story about how you defended someone in a schoolyard fight, or how you once took on a bully. Or maybe how you handled and abusive boss without using violence, or handled a negotiation with a nasty competitor, and you got your way. Find a story from your own life that will demonstrate that you have the capacity to protect her.

Then why do women like Abusive Jerks? Yes, it is Ironic. To understand this, check out the chapter in this book dealing with Women and Jerks. Basically, a man must prove he can keep her physically safe from others but not necessarily physically safe from himself. That is why some women respond to abusive men that beat up women.

The Value of Dressing Excessively The value of peacocking to make her feel safe is that dressing excessively is a way to get attention. People who bring attention to themselves are comfortable in the spotlight. People who are

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comfortable in the spotlight, usually would not do anything to damage their chances to stay in the spotlight. Therefore, there is less of a chance that the person dressing excessively is the one going to be violent. Next, any man that is dressing excessively must be, in her mind, someone who is special and who has the resources to "get away with it". This may include friends or a posse around, a weapon, whatever the case. If a man is going to dress excessively, he must be a man (in her mind) that can back himself up in order to do it. Lastly is that if she is with or near the person dressing excessively, she is just as protected as he is and probably going to be protected by him, simply due to her proximity to him. This is notwithstanding of course that dressing excessively can sometimes make the man a target for other t h r e a t e n men as you will read in my book on fashion.

The Arnie Becker Syndrome The addressing of this emotional need of feeling protected and safe is why lots of bodyguards, bouncers, and such get laid. This is also the primary reason why a lot of male lawyers bang most of all their female partners and clients. The male lawyers protect and defend these co-workers and clients. If you are a man going through a divorce, and your wife has a male divorce lawyer, you can be sure that she will be attracted enough to want to fuck his brains out. All women have the fantasy of the white knight coming to save them. What fuels this magic fantasy of needing a hero is a c o m b i n a t i o n of the high quality sperm emotional need, and THIS one of her needing to feel safe and protected by you, from the world.

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Fear of being pressured = lack of safety This is why sometimes you need to slow down and NOT pursue sex with her. It is not about the sex, it is about b o u n d a r i e s and does she feel safe with y o u . Take a break after each level of sexual escalation. Although women DO want sex, women do NOT want the pressure of the expectations, because she wants an out if she feels she needs it. Women want sex too. Even more so than men, because women enjoy sex more than men (if done right anyways). The issue here is that you are encouraging her fear, instead of just communicating directly that YOU have NO EXPECTATIONS for sex. This should be true for you. You should be somewhat choosy about who you have sex with, and she needs to earn it from you, at least a little. Don't even suggest that the reason you have no expectations for sex is that she won't like you. It is not about that. It is about YOU choosing or not choosing her.

Why Women Fear the Seducer Seduction is not a hobby or task for the Master Seducer, it is simply a way of being. He seduces women because he loves women, and ultimately he wants women to love him. Those men that are truly seducers would never harm women, because that would just interfere with getting her to love him. The resentment towards to the seducer is not the idea that men want sex, nor is it that men approach women... The hatred is based on the association between seducers and those that are violent predators (the rapists, pedophiles, liars, violenttypes, those that take advantage of women, and those that drug women for sex). The public at large makes no distinction. The hate is rooted in fear of women being hurt, maybe even killed, through manipulation. When a girl remarks that you may be one of those "players", what she is really saying is that you are

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willing to subvert your honest personality (willing to do whatever it takes including acts of violence against her) in order to get sex. This is why a response that cuts right to the heart of her emotional need of trust (for honesty and safety too) is necessary. He doesn't debate the definition of "player", he tells her that he does not hurt women, and t h a t he will n e v e r lie to her. S o m e t i m e s t h a t is not e n o u g h , other t i m e s it is all t h a t is n e e d e d . If you accept the label of "seducer" but you do not address this emotional need, then as she sees it, you might potentially become one of those violent guys in her mind.

Fear of the Seducer - Women's Reality As men, we tend to forget that women have a different reality than men do. Women are acutely aware that men have the potential for more muscle mass and strength than women, and unless she is a black belt in some martial arts, she has fear of getting hurt. Remember the theory that if you become the kind of guy that can handle women's truths, they open up on their history like you would not believe? Many times (almost always) a woman will recite to me some of her assaults as part of that history. Most women don't because many men can not handle hearing it, so they close up about it. One girl I dated told me about a night she got assaulted. She got way too drunk at a club, her girlfriend did not look out for her, and two guys took her out of the club, to a motel in a taxi, and kept taking turns on her against her will, then dropped her off back downtown hours later. She does not remember who they were, or any details, but remembers that it happened. When she went to report it, there was no proof of assault, and she could not identify the guys, so the sexual assault police team could do nothing, except for scolding her for getting into that drunken state to begin with.

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Whether or not you want to logically debate the merits of the cops' s t a t e m e n t , the end resulting fear t h a t a woman then feels is the same. This is why women don't go out alone, and why girlfriends are supposed to try to prevent her other friends f r o m getting hit on. It is a safety mechanism as much as a jealousy balancer. Seducers are not always seen as the hopeless romantics some of us are, but are lumped together with abusers and predators, and violent thugs who use the term "pick up artists" and "seducer" as a false cover. A Woman's Boundaries Each w o m a n is different w h e n it comes to boundaries. One guy I know used to ask women right away upon first meeting them, about what her boundaries were. Once he knew her boundaries he followed them to the letter, even if she tried something to make her break her boundaries. For example, a girl would say that she never kisses on the first date as a boundary. So on the first date, he would not even try to kiss her BUT if she tried to kiss him, he would not let it happen, and reminded her about her boundary. In her mind, he just proved that she could be safe with him. After that, she couldn't wait to fuck him within the week. Sometimes men mistake a girl telling him about her boundaries, for a test regarding her reputation, or a challenge to his dominance. For example, if a girl claims she does not kiss on the first date he might a s s u m e she is lying to protect her reputation, or she is lying just to challenge his dominance. (Yes, women play these types of stupid games. It is just a test). My experience is to keep her boundaries talk in mind, and stick to them, while you address her emotional needs. If you address her emotional needs, most if not all those boundary issues go right out the window.

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For all those rules, most if not all these rule girls, at some point in their lives, have had one night stands. So the issue is not forcing through the boundaries, but presenting yourself as the kind of man, that can address her emotional needs, so that sex with you DOES NOT COUNT towards breaking her boundary rules.

But what if you're just not cut out to be a Muscle guy? If you are a m a n , but your g e n e t i c s has d e c r e e d you to be weaker, then focus your attention on making contacts with men that will fight and protect in your name, in exchange for some fair trade. Bodyguards work on this same premise. Being a great protector does not necessarily mean you have to use your own muscles and weapons to protect her. This also includes your resources (finances to buy cooperation from others) as well as your power of influence (the ability to motivate others to protect you and your girl). This includes a man that is surrounded by a tight social circle, a posse, if you will. On this idea the romance with the public and Italian mobsters blossom; and guys with lots of friends and that are well known where ever they go, are very attractive. It is not necessarily always the bouncer or bodyguard that gets the girl, but the club owners and VIPs who hire them. At least, the o w n e r s and V I P s get first crack in the hierarchy.

That is why you MUST fuck her A man that is willing to go for something he really wants, and deal with the possible pain of rejection, is a man that is not afraid of pain. Thus, if he is not afraid of getting hurt, he will transfer that courage to situations where he can get physically hurt, in a situation where he must fight and protect her. THIS is why guys who fight get laid much easier than guys who do not.

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This does not mean that pacifist and conscientious objectors do not get laid. On the contrary, they have even bigger balls. The ones that do it right, will get in the face of whoever is threatening them and take the beating. It is not just about what he can dish out, but what he can take that determines the strength of his heart. The idea is that guys who fight the fear of getting hurt, are more attractive than guys who are afraid to get hurt. A guy that fucks women, and that makes passes for sex, presents himself to women as a guy that is not afraid of getting hurt.

How failing this test makes her your mother Since she has only one of two roles to play in your life (your mother or your lover) then she will assume her role by default based on how you determine your role. If you present yourself as a man that will fail to protect her, or to take the beating while she gets to run away, then she by default cannot afford to be your lover. She will have to be the one to protect you, just like a MOTHER protects her children.

How passing makes her your special lover Again, by default, if you present yourself as a Protector for the both of you, then you are assuming your role as the parent. Your willingness and ability to get hurt for her, makes her feel special, and thus she wants to fuck her Protector.

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Emotional Need Number -8 Handle her TRUE sexuality. She will only be as wanton with you as you demonstrate that you can handle it. She needs to explore her sexuality and let it be free as a Natural Woman with you

In emotional need number four, it was about a man handling his own sexuality. In this emotional need, it is about a man handling HER sexuality. This is also different from emotional need number five on Trust and Honesty. So much of what she must be honest with you is about sex. How you handle the truth about her sexuality, and how you handle her sexuality are two very different things for a woman. A man might be able to handle the truth about a woman being bi-curious or bisexual. It is another matter entirely for him to either witness her being with another w o m a n , or knowing that he and she are in a relationship and she is having sex with a woman without him there. This emotional need does not mean to expect her to be sexually experienced. Handling her true sexuality also means being able to handle her sexual INEXPERIENCE. Do you, as a man, know what to do if the woman you are dating is a virgin? It means learning to be comfortable with whatever level of sexual experience she has. If she is a stripper or a porn star, it is a much different sexuality to deal with than a woman who is a happily kept heterosexual housewife or an adult-aged female virgin. Another note here is when the women in question are very sexually closed off. These women put more of a importance on compatibility than sexual expertise.

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Women and Sexuality Sexual exploration for w o m e n that are best friends, cousins, sisters and even between mother and daughters is more common than most people think. Most men can not handle this truth, so women LIE about this big time. When you present yourself as the kind of man that can handle these kind of truths, women will share these things with you. I know guys that have had threesomes with mother/daughter teams, and at least one guy that had a threesome with twin sisters. Very incestuous. I know more stories, even worse than these, but I am not writing it here. The first person a woman falls in love with is her best female friend when she was a little kid. This is the same girl that they practice playing house with, kissing, touching, etc... for the first time. For many women, sex with other w o m e n " D O E S NOT COUNT". It is just curious exploration. Most of them do not consider themselves bisexual either. When women tell you similar stories about their friends, or stuff they read in the paper... IT IS A TEST. She wants to see what you can handle. She could be she is just testing you to see if you'd judge her. Maybe she did it herself in the past, but is too scared that you would judge her for it. Maybe she got left for the other girl from a threesome and is too scared to date another guy who wants threesomes. Maybe a lesbian came on to her, and she is questioning her sexuality and is looking to you for answers. It is most women's experience who try to be honest with men about sexuality, especially in North America, that men have very fragile egos, and men's worlds are easily destroyed.

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Be a man, handle a woman's sexual truths Do you present yourself as the kind of guy that would accept that side of her? Have you ever criticized her for any expression of that part of her? Have you denounced other women for their similar behavior that she knows of? Have you have ever referred to a woman, or man, in a negative fashion by calling them "gay"? If you have, you must realize that you can not have it both ways in the real world. You can not expect her to feel comfortable showing you her true sexuality if you criticize others for doing the same. One of the ways I managed my harem is that I NEVER criticized any of them, or any woman for that matter, that exhibited any sexual parts of themselves. Women will test you on this... they will ask you your opinion of how a girl is dressed, or what her friend did last night, etc... it is a TEST. What she really wants to know is if you can handle her own sexuality. She wants to be with you in the way she sexuality desires. BUT if you never take the lead... if you are not willing to do what it takes to "be the man" who can address her emotional needs, it will not happen. A woman will only be as sexual with you, as you demonstrate your ability to handle it. You will be tested in the future. Be encouraging of her, and other women, in the expression of their sexuality. Stop being jealous, period. Never speak badly about women who are sexual. Never use the word "gay" to infer anything negative about any person. Very simply, you must be the man that she can let her inner slut out with, without the fear of judgment. That is your role as her seducer. Be that man in her life. It is not a perfect world. And although people may think they want the whole truth, not everyone is capable of handling the truth. Handling truth is a skill that can be developed, but the person has to want to develop it (like any change work).

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The deal with her period Fuck her anyways if it is your first time having sex with her. Just deal with it. Put on the condom, and get inside her even though she's having her period. Just to get over the hump, and solidify your relationship as lovers. If it is time for sex, just do it, period or not. I think you should penetrate her, unless her period makes it painful for her. If it is still too painful even if using a lubed condom, then and only then, wait until her period is over.

The Best Kind of Lover. Virgin or Not If she is a virgin and tells you she is really unsure if she is any good at anything or if you are less sexually experienced than she is, then please read this. I've had them all... want to know what is the real secret to being great lover? It has nothing to do with technique, or size, or anything ...it is all about ENTHUSIASM. As long as you are ENTHUSIASTIC about sex, you can be great. Don't let inexperience stop either of you. Enthusiasm rules all. I think that most girls, especially if that are not that experienced, feel self-conscious about sucking cock, because they do not want to be thought of as bad at sex. So, if it is her first BJ, or she is had not had great previous experiences giving BJs, then encourage her as a man. When she goes down on you, pretend to act like you just LOVE it while she is doing it, and sometimes, purposefully stop her in the middle of it, saying "I can't breathe! I need a break!"... then look at her and say, "You've given these before haven't you?" or "God, you are a master at this!". By making her feel that she has a SPECIAL talent that so pleases you, she gains confidence, and is very excited to blow you in the future. The funny thing

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is, once she becomes REALLY enthusiastic, it makes giving a BJ her power, she actually does get really really good. Will take a few times. Behavior rewarded is behavior repeated. Hey, women have been encouraging men with fake orgasms for years. It is time we paid back the favor.

What if the men are less sexually experienced Women are more than willing to accept a man that is sexually less experienced, especially if she leads a very "wild" lifestyle. She may not care for an inexperienced guy for a one night stand, or a weekend fling, BUT it is more difficult than most men think, for women of this lifestyle to find solid male partners that are strong enough and secure enough to handle being in a long-term committed relationship with a woman that has lived, or continues to live a more sexually adventurous lifestyle. Men just do not know what relationships they could actually have, if they just go for it.

Keep it Interesting - The Rule of Be the First Be the first. This means to be the first guy that she experiences certain things with. I doubt she will be a virgin when you nail her (or maybe she will be). Either way, find out specific stuff about her... not just sexually, but find out stuff that she has always wanted to do, but n e v e r d o n e b e f o r e . It c o u l d be h a v i n g a guy use a vibrator in her (or various food items)... it could be an afternoon picnic with honey-wine in the park with a blow job in the bushes, it could be sex in public, it could be driving next to big trucks where she flashes her tits to t r u c k drivers. Make it m e m o r a b l e . If, lets say, you can identify 10 things that you can be her first, then start doing those things with her. Use food and liquor one time, use a vibrator the next,

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other sex toys the next time, do it in public somewhere, bathe together, remove your body hair together, massage and body lotions, make nude photography and videos with her, and so on. This will prove how adventurous you are. Start small... incorporate different foods into your sex life. Syrups, pieces of fruits, eventually you move on. Be imaginative, and lead lead lead. Take her window shopping to a sex shop and NOTICE, do not comment on, what she pays attention to. Then go back and buy it and use it on her the next time. Unless she gets so turned on in the store that you have to buy it then and there and take her home to use it on her. Go to extremes. Either long drawn out fore play or a super fast quickie. During fore play use massage, music, oils, and visualizations. To help, watch a sensual how-to massage video together and do what they do on the screen. Make her cum by focusing on her orgasm, not your own. Spend as much time doing what you need to do to make her cum first. By that time, you will have less pressure on you to perform. One last thing about Be the First, is NEVER NEVER NEVER do any of these things in the form of an apology. EVER. If you mess up on something, and then do a "Be the First" experience with her, she will come to expect it every time you are in the debt column. That will train her to constantly find faults with you and your actions, so that she can get more stuff out of you. Bad.

Sex. Lies and Women I know women that consider themselves very straight, even though they go to swingers clubs and engage in LOTS of girl-on-girl action. She has licked more pussy than he has, but she does not admit to be bisexual at all. She has held on to this lie, which protects her, for so long, that she actually believes it. Lies have a way of giving an illusion of

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identity. The truth is some lies never find their way to the surface. ANYONE that has to keep a lie going usually starts to believe their own bullshit. The only thing that I can think of is to really present yourself as the type of guy that she can totally let herself be free sexually without you judging her for it.

Free to be a sexual being and natural woman A seducer must see women as human beings looking to explore and be explored. A seducer has no animosity towards women, and accepts that women are human beings that have all the potential good and realistic faults that humans possess. Women are not two dimensional fictional character types, such as the perfect lady wife, and the dirty bedroom whore. The same woman is capable of a wide variety of emotions and actions as any other human beings, male and female. Yes, they are all sluts ...well, only if you are lucky. Then you get to be a man-whore too. Happy happy joy joy. A seducer is aware of this and allows a woman to feel capable of experiencing with him all those facets of her personality, in a safe and accepting manner that will enrich her life, and his. Women enjoy sex way more than men have the capacity to. W o m e n w a n t sex... period. Not just that night, but they want sex just as much as men, on regular basis. Keep this in mind for yourself. If the right guy comes along, women are all ready for sex. You just have to present yourself as that right guy. Right now. Right for now, and right for tomorrow.

That is Why You MUST fuck her There is only ONE way to prove that you can handle her sexuality. Fuck her in the way she needs to be fucked. 'Nuff said.

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How failing this test makes her your mother If you don't fuck her in accordance with her sexuality (whatever that may be), someone else will. If she is a virgin and needs someone she feels comfortable with for her first time, and she is not feeling comfortable with you, she will run to someone else. If she needs you to be rough and aggressive with pulling her hair and slapping her ass, but you are too afraid to hurt her, she will run to someone else. By forcing her to find someone else, she ends up having to feel like a mother to the relationship. Her needs will only be fulfilled if she acquires someone else, and she will probably do it behind your back if you are in a relationship A N D you still will not know the truth of her sexuality. That being said, she may love you emotionally, but that will not be enough attraction, if you can not guide her and satisfy her sexually.

How passing makes her your special lover All women feel that their sexuality is unique. Her sexuality, or related parts is where women keep their secrets. All women have secrets, and many of them deal with sex. Even in those so-called, "tell-all" relationships, there will always be secrets women never tell. For some reason it keeps them feeling balanced. A man that can handle her sexuality, makes her feel that she is special because so few men understand a woman's basic sexual nature. If you as a man, understand her self-titled unique sexuality, then you reaffirm and help justify the way she has been feeling sexually almost all her life. This is a powerful indicator to a woman that she is with the right man. Finding the right man for her, makes her special, and she can not wait to fuck you like a rabid dog in heat, because FINALLY she found someone that she can!

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Emotional Need Number-9 Prove that you have High Quality Sperm. The BEST way to demonstrate this is by showing her that other girls want to have sex (procreate) with you. It shows you are a "good catch" and the kids she would make with you will also be a "good catch" enough to also attract a mate.

The Two Beliefs Behind High Quality Sperm This is based on the following 2 beliefs: 1 -If other women want it. she SHOULD want it too. 2-lf she wants him, she EXPECTS other women will want him too. Belief number one is: If other women want it. she SHOULD want it too. If a woman shows interest in a man; to another woman it means that he MUST be attractive, otherwise he would not be intriguing the first girl. So based on this premise, she will feel attraction for him too. This is why it is easier for a married man to meet and bed women than it is for a single unattached guy. The hotter your wife, the more the girls want to fuck you, just to prove to themselves that they too can attract a guy like you. The girl fucking you may even have no real interest in you, other than just using you to prove something to herself with the sex. Belief number two is: If she wants him, she EXPECTS other women will want him too. She is aware that other chicks look for certain emotional needs, the same way she does. So if she

163 really likes a guy, she assumes that other women will like him for the same reason she likes him. And if she does not like a guy, she can not really understand what another woman would see in him, UNTIL she SEES that other women are in fact into him. Thus, belief one kicks in, when belief two falls short. This is why those girls that just want to be friends with you, NEED to see you attracting other women. So that if he does not initially find you attractive, she will find you attractive after noticing that other women find you attractive. The first belief helps replace the results of the second belief. It is for this reason that a woman will give her male partner, that she is attracted to already, bad advice to keep him unattractive to other women. She seeks to limit her competition. For example, I knew a guy that was a very good looking man, except for one physical flaw. He had an extra fold of skin just over one of his eyes. Nothing major, but it did make him look like he just got punched in the eye. He always considered getting surgery to fix it. He never went for the surgery partly because his girlfriend of many years always discouraged him, saying that she did not want him to go for surgery. She claimed she loved him just the way he was AND that his deformity made him endearing to her. Riiiiiight. Sure. In my mind, she discouraged it because she recognized how even more attracted she would be to him after the surgery, and figured that OTHER women would find him more attractive too. Thus, in order to keep her hold on him, she encouraged him to stay the way he was, even though it affected the way he felt about himself in a negative manner. They are not together anymore. He is now planning to go for the surgery.

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It is under these above two beliefs that this emotional need is activated. It is not the officer's uniform that makes him attractive, but the presupposition that OTHER women will find him attractive for what the uniform represents. It is not that a guy is attractive for being a good provider, but the presupposition that OTHER women will find him attractive for what being a good provider represents. Here is the kicker. Addressing this one emotional need alone can get a man laid. If a man has nothing else going for him, other than addressing this one emotional need, he can lay many women who only need this one emotional need addressed. This is 100% of the reason that some guvs get laid at all. It covers the reasoning behind one night stands, or short t e r m r o m a n c e s . It is her belief that he is desirable to other women that helps make it happen. This is also 50% of the reason that even some of the most unlikeliness guys still do manage to get married. (The other 50% is the addressing her emotional need of fear of abandonment). Lower value males that only address two emotional needs can get married anyway because humans have a tendency to settle for less as time goes on. Biological clocks do tick loudly for women, and men too, if a man actually wants to be young enough to enjoy his children. A woman sees something in them, that she herself may not even be attracted to, but believes that other women may find attractive. Thus, she believes that if she has children and joins genes with this man, that the children will inherit, at minimum, the same traits that she believes will make the children attractive

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enough to also attract mates, and thus her genes are secured a future in the species. This is something that guys who are good providers can do. If they have a good job, will care for the children, be a good provider... she will date him, and raise kids with him, and maybe those kids will even be his... but, over the course of her life with him, she will fuck another man that meets her other emotional needs. If you are in demand, then yes, you are the man but don't kid yourself. The child you raise may not be your own. You see, even when a woman marries a man for the above reason, that still does not mean she will be monogamous. She may have sex with a man that can better address her emotional needs, and even have the other man's kid in secret, but will have her husband raise the children that are not his, without his or the kid's knowledge.

Author's Note: It is my testimony that DNA paternity testing WILL someday become a regular expected practice in hospitals upon women giving birth. This legislation will come when enough frustrated child-support paying nice ex-husbands band together to help make it happen.

When it comes to this emotional need, there are so many factors that can indicate to a woman that you have high quality sperm. These things include your genetics (the good looks you were born with), your wardrobe and any uniforms you may wear, the job or career you have, the financial resources you have, your willingness to exercise and build muscle and so on. This includes lots of other things like who you are related to, and what genes may be in your family lineage. If a famous writer was your great grandfather, it may indicate you may have the great writing gene within you. Or that your children may carry it through you.

An entire book can be written about this one area, so I am only going to illustrate what I think are good examples, but the premise is the same for each one under this emotional need: You demonstrate you have high quality sperm, and you will pass on to your children the same attractive traits. That's it. Here are some examples: Uniforms: As ugly as some of them may be, uniforms are a symbol of achievement. Only those men that have passed certain criteria will get to wear a uniform. What the uniform represents is what is attractive. It is the understanding that most other women will be attracted to men that have the traits that earned him the uniform in the first place. He MUST have some quality to him, and thus his sperm as well, to wear a uniform. Thus, a woman will find a man in uniform attractive. Stylish Dressing: Careful. In a woman's reality, the only men that dress REALLY well, might actually be gay. If your mode of dress and hygiene are part of your demonstration of being high quality sperm, look for the tests that question your sexual orientation. They are there, and they are coming. As mentioned for the emotional need of protection and making her feel safe, being a very stylish, or an eccentric dresser signals to the woman that there is something more to you than she may be able to first perceive. Thus, for the same reasons as the uniforms, the man is seen as having some quality to him, and thus so does his sperm, to dress the way he does. Thus a woman will find him attractive. Pimps are well known for using exactly this method.

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Genetics: In genetics, we look not only at how attractive you look, but the things you do to make you look even more attractive. Where you lucky enough to be born goodlooking? By this I mean to apply the rule of symmetry. The rule of symmetry means, if you were to draw a vertical line down the center of the human face, would one side of it exactly match the other side? W o u l d the e y e s , and nose be the s a m e length and match the other side in a perfect mirror-like image? If so, then the person can be deemed attractive. If not, then the person might want to consider adopting certain facial poses and head tilts to give the illusion of symmetry when posing for pictures, or talking to someone they find attractive. Check out the diagrams (Image 1 and Image 2) to see what I mean. This does not mean that those faces and bodies that are not genetically perfect will not be able to attract any mates. There are some people that find a crooked smile very cute, and other women that find certain body features more attractive than others (i.e. the chubby chasers). Then there are unusual sexual fetishes that may come into play. Notwithstanding those exceptions, there exists certain genetic markers that the majority of people find attractive, which is why there are people in the world that make a full time living off their looks. If you have not been blessed with being born with good looks, a man can augment that with things like good health, building muscles, good hygiene (a MUST), wardrobe, tattoos, jewelry, accessories, and so on. All of these things fall under this one important e m o t i o n a l n e e d o f p r o v i n g high q u a l i t y s p e r m . Because all of these things signals to the woman that there is something about you that will be deemed attractive to other women The man is seen as having certain qualities in him, and thus his sperm MUST also possess the same quality. Thus a woman will find him attractive.

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Line of Symmetry {Image 1} means attractive genetics

Line of Symmetry genetics

(Image

2)

means

Unattractive

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Employment: The better your job, the better your sperm. For those people that have had lousy bosses, I am sure would intellectually disagree. They are right. However, what our biological programming perceives and what we intellectually can infer are two different things. The next step of course is someone who is great at their job. This includes someone that may not be in charge of the factory, but who is very highly proficient at his job. Most people are proficient at jobs that they really like, and that is personally fulfilling to them... which is why, a man that is not making tons of money, but who loves his work, comes off as very attractive. Doing something you love is such a rarity, that only a very few special people get to ever find that. Someone who finds it, must have high quality sperm, and therefore any children with him, possesses high quality sperm. Thus he is attractive to women. Finance and Resources: "Money Makes Women Horny". I think it was Willie Nelson that said this. Too true Willie. But it is not just the money that makes w o m e n horny, it is w h a t the m o n e y has come to symbolize. Aside from the obvious comforts the money can provide for, in the current day and age, money is one of the symbols of high quality sperm. The presents and such that m o n e y can buy are nice, but women already have Emotional Cookie Men to provide them with that stuff, so what the money buys, alone is not enough for her to spread her legs open. Otherwise, even Emotional Cookie Men would get laid. For more on what is an Emotional Cookie Man, read the chapter in the book which covers it. A man that has acquired money, or inherited it, is interpreted as a man that has skills and lineage that will be passed down from his genes to his children's genes. This means he is high quality, and therefore so must his sperm be high quality. Thus, the woman feels attracted.

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Beware the gold diggers. These include the kinds of women that will only fuck you if you have certain financial amount in your name, as well as, those women that target the rich, famous athletes, and others of this type. These women seduce these men, looking to get pregnant from them. They may in fact retrieve a unguarded condom and use the sperm inside. What they want is a high quality sperm male, with the financial resources to put her and the kid on easy street. Usually, they do not even want to have the males participate at all in the child's life. How this factors into One Night Stands This one also covers why women are willing to have one night stands with men. They find something interesting about the man, and figure if they do, so will other women, thus she can have a one night stand with him. This makes the risk of pregnancy even safer. B e c a u s e if she does end up pregnant, then c h a n c e s are that the offspring will also be able to attract a mate, and be able to procreate just as he has with her. In our modern society, the assumption that she would have an abortion if this were the case is notwithstanding. Biological recognitions of sexual evolutionary context do not r e c o g n i z e m o d e r n t e c h n o l o g i e s such as birth control and abortion. It's All Inner Game Man, I am going to piss off so many people with this next one. "It's All Inner Game". I have often heard this remark by guys that are into self-help and using it to seduce women. It is a be-all statement, which at times really means nothing. In my opinion it is one of those all encompassing answers, which actually does not address any specific issue at all. Telling a guy that his inability to connect and have sex with women is "All Inner Game..." is just like telling an average frustrated sales person that all they

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need to do to m a k e more sales is " J u s t find the customer's Hot Button !!!" . Well DUH!?! I guess it is just that simple then. So all the failed sales people in the w o r l d , and all the guys that can not get laid to save their lives are just being too stupid to understand the most basic simple concepts. Right. It is just that easy huh? If that was true, then I would not have clients contacting me for books and seminars, because they would already know what to do and would be doing it right now. The fact that you are reading this book right now proves that it is not so god damn simple. "Inner game" at first was used to define all of a persons inner beliefs systems about sex, love and relationships between men and women. I have found that it also has recently taken on a persons thought p r o c e s s , w h a t they a s s o c i a t e with other t h i n g s , and now it seems to have included technical knowledge basis about specific items. So pretty much, when some guy says, it is all inner game, when he is trying to counsel a male client looking to learn about getting better with women, that guy is right. Because "inner game" now means "everything". And when a guy states that "everything" has to do with getting better with meeting and bedding women, he of course is right. HOWEVER, that is not because he is actually brilliant, it is because the language and grammar being used is effective in encompassing "everything", so that no matter what the clients challenge is, it HAS TO BE included in "everything". Not very helpful in actually getting results, but fabulous marketing. "Everything" is the category, and whatever your problem is, is a sub category of "everything"; by definition it must be. When I use the term "inner game", I will be referring specifically to the ability of a man to act on his beliefs to survive and function in maintaining his life. Education, school, work, finances, debts, deciding who he is, and w h a t he w a n t s to do in life, e t c . . . I n my

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philosophy, inner game has little to do with the topic of seducing women. Why do I believe this? Because in the years I have spent studying relationships to see what works and what does not, I have identified that many men who are hooking up with women, are not the smartest, handsomest, richest, or the guys that have "all their shit" together. Many of them are human beings that have faults, addictions, aptitudes, and so on. Some have the ability to naturally seduce w o m e n , some have had to learn it, and some just do not get it. Despite all this, these guys all get laid at some point over the course of their lives. They may not get laid everyday, but they do get laid sometimes. The secret is out: Even average guys get laid out there. So if only true (meaning born as) alpha males were the only ones getting laid out there, only a fraction of the men actually alive (less than 20%) w o u l d be getting laid. The (in my estimation over 80%) of the male humans out there would be totally alone. But the alphas, although are getting lots of sex and offers of companionship, can not have every single woman alive, thus even some of those "betas" out there still manage to get laid and lots of them get married and do have their own kids. This is why I think that the whole "inner game" movement is incomplete. Inner game is definitely important. However, a guy with his inner game together does not necessarily get laid, and a guy that does NOT have ALL his inner game together, can still get laid pending the right combination of circumstances. Those other qualities of his inner game can make up for the mistakes he makes in the seduction process. Getting this "inner game" part under control means a man will attract the kinds of women that would already be attracted to him... but it does not necessarily attract the women that the man really wants in the first place. If he settles for the best that he can get, then he has women due to inner game. If his standards are too

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high for (not his lack of inner game, but) his lack of skills with women, he ends up alone. That is the secret of getting your inner game together, but not learning and understanding the realms of seduction and relationships. With inner game only, she chooses him at his best, but he settles for her at her best. Yeah yeah, I know..."but isn't learning about attraction and relationships PART of inner game?". Sure if you want it to be. EXCEPT, That a guy can learn all about getting laid, and actually get laid, and the rest of his life is a shamble. And a guy that has got it figured out in the rest of his life, except in matters of sex and love has everything under control, but may not be able to get laid if his life depends on it, unless he simply accepts the girls that are already into him. He did not choose her, she chose him. That is why I separate t h e m the way I do. It allows me to better help the men that attend my seminars.

Author's Note: For more about my philosophies on Inner Game, please refer to my book: I'M A Man, That's My Job: The Inner "Game" Beliefs of a Seducer-In-Training.

Inner Game and the Emotional Need Under this emotional need, a man that has a handle on the rest of his life, except for his love life has demonstrated high quality sperm, as women will find this aspect attractive, AND she assumes other women will find it attractive too. Depending on how much of his life he has handled will increase the higher or lower setting of his sperm quality. There are men that have better inner game than others, and some of those guys have got looks, and money too. But whether or not you are a really high

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quality sperm man, or average high quality sperm man, or just a high quality sperm man ...you are still addressing this one, and only one, emotional need. Get it? If all the switches you flip in her brain are encompassed in this one emotional need, for some women, it may be enough, but not for all. Addressing this one emotional need alone could get you laid, but it is not enough for something more than casual sex. (Music Groupies notwithstanding of course) Taking care of this inner game, and only this part of yourself, you have solved most of your life's problems. However, If all you do is take care of this inner game, and you do not have an u n d e r s t a n d i n g , or a willingness for the application of the process of attraction, then in the end, when it comes to women: You will be able to attract women to you BUT, you will only attract women that will choose you, NOT the women that you would choose to attract. You will end up settling for who you can get (or buy), but not who you would choose to be with if you could. That is why there are a lot of doctors, lawyers, and "gotit-together" people that either are still single, OR in lousy primary relationships that cause them to need fulfillment outside the relationship. In the years that I have been involved in all this, I have met very good looking men, very rich men, very cool men.... BUT I was getting laid more before my development, than they are right now. These guys are cool, really funny, really outgoing guys, that have no idea how to handle girls. They can get women to laugh at will, tell a great story, just have a great time in general, but just can't get the girl to feel attraction. They got lots of inner game going but... The Demons of Inner Game

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This is one of the reasons that men who are naturally good with women, do not understand why some other men just do not get it. Naturally good seducers, in my opinion, may not have the inner game issues that would stop him. Maybe he did not have the guilt issues some people have surrounding sex. Naturals may not all have been born with being good with women, and some learned it on their own, in their own way as teenagers, but I do believe however that they probably did not have the same obstacles of learning that many men do. A natural may have been sexually active from a young age where he got to be with nice girls. He may have been born exceptionally well-endowed, and faced his issues with sex without the issues that other guys deal with (such as insecurity about penile size, getting comfortable touching a girl, issues of religion, lack of sexual experience as an adult, etc). If we factor in a naturals unique experience versus that of a guy that hates his own body and feels undeserving of sex, and even guilty for sexual desires, only then can some naturals understand where these men are coming from. I remember one such natural I met who did very well with women. He could not at all understand the idea that there were men in the world who had problems being with girls, and that some men even feared women. He just figured that these men were either gay or just pussies. Of course, as I got to know him, he shared a story with me about how he lost his virginity at the age of 13 when his best friend (also aged 13) had a mother, who decided she wanted him, and she pretty much seduced him. To my understanding, that affair apparently lasted almost 3 years and she taught him everything about sex. By today's standards that mother would have been arrested for some form of sexual assault if anyone had found out. So for him to have a hard time understanding how some men have fear of

176 sex as 22 year old virgins... I guess it makes sense. It also means that he is unable to figure out that maybe...just maybe... he is just a little luckier that things turned out for him somewhat more different, than they did for most other men. But It's All Relative One of the last points I will make about this emotional need in particular, as to why it alone can work w e l l e n o u g h to get a man laid, A N D be 5 0 % of the reason that average or low quality males get married is because the quality of your sperm is relative to: What other men she is actually able to attract. If you live in a small town with little immigration, and the women in that town are not up to moving out of town anytime soon, then your only realistic competition is the small group of men in that town with you. You may not have the finances of Bill Gates. You may not have the good looks of Brad Pitt. You may not have the big dick of Ron Jeremy. You may not have the muscular body of Randy Orton. You may not have the musical ability of Barry White. You may not have the business sense of a major corporate CEO. You may not have the power to have s o m e o n e killed like a high ranking politician or mafia gangster. But that does not matter, if SHE does not have access to those guys. It is not the best in the world that all women will fuck, it is the best they can find and attract to them. And if she is not uber attractive herself, she is not going to be as picky as many men think w o m e n are. Even the really attractive ones can not always find the men they are looking for. They take what they can get. She is looking for the best she can find, and attract to her. That my dear reader SHOULD BE YOU.

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And when a woman turns you down, or runs away from you, that by all rights, you should have been able to date, you as a man, MUST consider that maybe... you are in fact attractive to her... but its her that feels she is unworthy of you. That is why you MUST fuck her If a man recognizes HIS value, he demonstrates this by fucking her, or at least trying to make a pass at her. If he does not even try, he is sub-communicating that he is not good enough to join his genes with hers. Plain and simple. Men that have high quality sperm will fuck every possible chance to spread his seed around. Otherwise, he condemns himself to be weeded out of existences by NOT passing along his genes. Fuck or die. S H O W her with actions w h a t you c h o o s e . How failing this test makes her your mother Every woman fears that she may have the child of a low value male with low sperm quality and thus will not produce good offspring. If she is with you, and you demonstrate that you have such low value sperm, that she concludes that no other woman would want you at all, she does not see you as a guy that will ever have kids. That by default makes you just a big adult child that will never truly grow up to be a man. Her mothering instincts will kick in, killing any potential attraction she would have for you. How passing makes her your special lover Remember that women get judged by WHO they lay. She needs to know there is something special about you. If you are of value (high quality sperm), then she feels of value that you chose her. Thus, she feels special because she feels you are special. Once she f e e l s that she is s p e c i a l , she s h o w s t h a t to you by becoming your lover.

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Emotional Need Number -10 Prove that you are NOT a Homosexual.

Whenever I give a seminar, it's this one emotional need that is most surprising to the guys, and gets the most laughs. Until after the seminar; where they now realize all those times they screwed up, and made some girl question if he was gay. This is a real challenge to the ego for some men. It is every woman's secret thought that the man she might be with, is actually an in-closet homosexual. All Communication is Gendered First of all, no matter what you say to a chick, it is a gendered interaction. Even if you legitimately just ask for the time, and want nothing else from her, she is still under the assumption that you are using it as an excuse to "meet" her. So that is not the issue. So unless the person you are communicating with has no idea of your gender (like over the net), nor do you have any idea of the other persons gender... then MAYBE gender does not matter. The genders still communicate and process information differently so it can be figured out eventually. She knows you have a gender, and she knows you have a sexuality. She can figure out your gender, usually by looking. As for your sexuality, she will be checking you out for subtle signs. It is not a matter of you being a homosexual or not. It is a matter of what she is looking for. If she can not find signs that you are attracted to w o m e n , she will a s s u m e By Default that you are gay, because she is looking to find SOMETHING. Gay Men That Pretend to be Heterosexual There is a percentage of men at large that are deluding themselves into thinking their problem is in picking up women. In fact, these guys are actually gay

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but the pain associated with coming to terms with their homosexuality is worse than being a hetro-guy that can not get laid. So these guys act like, and convince themselves, that they are straight guys who mess up with women, blaming it on everything OTHER than their own sexual feelings and orientation. These men hang out with other guys talking about how much they love to fuck chicks, go on gay bashing sprees, call everyone they do not like a "faggot", seek out books like this one, and sometimes even meet a girl that likes him enough that she will break social norms and pursue him, or happens to get "lucky" that she is attracted to him enough to tolerate all of his mistakes. BUT these men may end up self-sabotaging and setting unrealistic goals that they never attain. For example, if a guy claims to only be wanting to be with a girl that is considered by society to be a "10" out of a possible 10 in the looks department, and finding the most ridiculous physical imperfections, to base his rejection of her. (i.e. She has this ingrown toenail on her pinky toe of her left foot... ). These guys also have ridiculously high standards about how women are supposed to behave socially, or other such nonsense for the same reasons. On the odd chance he gets lucky enough to get such a women to be interested in him, and even offer the guy sex, he finds r e a s o n s not to go t h r o u g h with it (saying "I want my first time to be special, and it would not be special enough with her" and such). On the other hand, some of these men, so fearful of the pain of coming out, will force themselves to do whatever they have to do (include have sex with a woman) and even get married to convince themselves that they are not gay. Every once in a while he may fake a story of a girl he dated in order to avoid suspicion. Admission of homosexuality can be incredibly painful and scary. It

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challenges everything a person believes about himself and his upbringing. It is easier to be in denial and suppress the feelings, and even go out of his way to prove he is the complete opposite of gay. Being a guy that is a social retard with women is a perfect shield. No one, no book, and nothing in the world, can make you WANT to have sex with women. It is either something you want, or do not want. I think these guys want to really believe they want to have sex with women; but wanting to want to have sex with women is a very different thing, than just wanting to have sex with women. To all the gays guys reading this, that pretend to be heterosexual: Dudes, get counseling. It really is OK to be gay. Don't mistake my writings here for being anti-gay. Gay people have every right to exist just like anybody else. Please, seek out the help of a sexologist or someone that can help you learn to love and accept yourself. Many teenagers kill themselves because of the trouble of dealing with their sexuality. Please be safe, and get whatever help you need. There are now countries that allow gay marriage. It is not fair to yourself to pretend to be something you are not. Also by pretending, it is especially not fair to women that you are really emotionally fucking up. My heart goes out to them, not to you.

Author's Note: One woman I met was once married to a man who, after years of a very satisfying relationship, came out and divorced her. She has since had relationships with other men, but make no mistake. She is damaged emotionally from the experience. To all the gay guys pretending to be straight who are reading this... think of this story. A guy like you really HURT her. She is over 50 now, and alone. She could have had a family and found real love with someone else, instead of having trust issues with men, and being alone. You are not the only ones getting hurt out there.

For the straight guy not getting laid that is reading this: heterosexual Men (hell, and even the bisexual ones) are supposed to like women, and these

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men also want to FUCK women. It is OK. That is what women expect from us. So if you are turning down sex with women and it is not because you are impotent, then she, and most people around you, are going to assume you are gay. Deal with it. Women's Reality of the Male Gay Friend For most guys, they do not realize how serious this is, as it's a reality that is hard to accept. One of the biggest concerns of women is being afraid that the guy they are going out with or especially the guy that they will marry, is gay. She knows that every homosexual male friend she has is not out of the closet yet. Could you be one too? From the same principle as emotional need number eight, if a man is gay, he may pass along genes to his children making them homosexual too. (Well, there are studies that indicate it is biology, and not a choice). That being said, the fear is that chances of her kids being gay are more probable if the man she procreates with is gay. Thus, her children will not be attracted to the opposite gender, and they will not reproduce and pass on her genes to the next generations. Remember, these evolutionary and biological mechanisms do not recognize gay marriage and adoption as part of the procreation process. When an adolescent boy is questioning his sexual orientation, chances are he will not tell anyone... but if he does, he is going to tell his female adolescent friends. He surely is not going to tell his male friends for fear of the pain of coming out. This is why women know that some men are actually gay. They've had boys who tell them how they really feel and how they are struggling with it. What do these women then see? They might see these same boys try dating other women, or maybe even try dating other boys. Some of these boys grow up, and come out of the closet. Some of these boys

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grow up, and do not come out of the closet, but do not really date women either. Some of these guys even get married to women, and have kids, but have gay lovers on the side in secret. And still some of these guys, experiment with homosexuality when they are young, and then figure out for t h e m s e l v e s that they are not actually gay, and go on to have relationships with women and families, and never have the urge to touch another man again. And some of these guys do all that, and decide they are in fact gay, and divorce their families to be themselves. And sometimes the only people that know and see this side of reality are those best female friends while growing up. When you meet a woman, chances are that she had a gay man growing up with her, that she was "that friend" who heard and saw everything that no one is ever to know about. Although she will probably not betray her gay friend's confidence, especially if he is not presently out of the closet, she will be testing YOU to see if you are some other woman's best gay male friend. It does not matter if you are not gay. It does not matter that you do not think you give off a gay vibe. What matters is that she is going to test you for it, because her reality is such that, she is worried she is being taken for a fool. Ways to Address this Emotional Need Ironically, it is not enough to just "not be gay" to address this emotional need. It takes a combination of behaviors, storytelling, and reputation building for that. The simplest ways are to make a pass at her, and touch her when flirting, or in private conversation. Directly approaching her to meet her based on her feminine attraction to you is also a very good start. Fucking her would also help in this department, but that alone may not be enough, as gay men can force themselves to have sex with women. If you are not at ease touching a girl, this will work against you. Women do not believe that "shy" guys

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actually exist. They just assume you do not like the girl enough, or that you might be gay. Think I am wrong or making this up? Ask any woman about a guy that was too afraid to fuck her, and she will tell you (if she is being honest) that it did cross her mind that he might be gay. One of the best stories you can tell her is about an opportunity that you had to be with a guy that you turned down. If you have ever been hit on by a gay guy, (and if you are at all good looking, or show some charisma it WILL happen to you); and you turned down the offer to be picked up; that in conjunction with fucking her might put her mind at ease. Getting hit on by a gay guy is not a sign that you are gay, it is a sign that you are attractive to women. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it). In order to protect the identity of a guy I knew that was gay and hit on me a c o u p l e of t i m e s , all I will say is t h a t I w a s flattered, but not interested. After a while, he hit on me one-too many times, and I have since dropped him from my social circle. Now I know how some girls feel. Yeesh! I am not a good looking man, and depending on how I am feeling, I can be down right ugly, but I still can be charming. If * l " can get hit on by men, chances are, you have been too, and just do not know it. But if there were any women around, they know you were hit on, because they know the signs. If you have to, tell her directly that: i like women and i like sex with women. Do whatever it takes. This Guy I Know I know a guy that uses the following method to address this issue. W h i l e on a date, usually early on, he will turn to the girl, and tell her you know I am not gay right? I mean you know for sure I am not gay right?". Usually the woman will agree and even look at him like he is a little crazy. He then picks up the conversation, where ever it left off last.

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Later in the date, when he starts to make his moves and tries to kiss her or touch her, and in the event she starts to act indignant or surprised, he stops and recites: "Look, we talked about this. 1 told you 1 wasn't gay!" To my surprise, he says, that is all it takes, and then he proceeds to have sex with them. I do not know if he was being honest with me, but I do think that whether or not this story is true, is it does address an emotional need.

Feminine and Submissive Men As far as women are concerned, Feminine and Submissive Men just do not really exist. There are just men, gay men, and those guys that have not figured out which team to bat for. Dressing TOO well, or being too nice... Some guys are down right disgusting in their looks and mannerisms, BUT if those same disgusting things are still masculine, this emotional need is met. This may explain why some really good looking women go out with some really not so good looking men. Especially if she got burned by a gay man in her past. Guys that are way too emotional themselves, may be t h o u g h t of as closet h o m o s e x u a l s . They take on a more feminine role in the relationship, and unless they find very dominant females to join with, these guys usually turn off women or make great "female-with-penis-friends". When the women see you as just "one of the girls", dudes, that is not a good thing. Also note, my own experience in the BDSM communities which flourishes with many submissive males for every one dominant (dominatrix) female has taught me that even the most dominant female is attracted and seeking for herself a dominant male partner. It is in the hopes that the dominant male partner will dominate her so that she does not have to lead her primary relationship, like she must lead her secondary

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submissive males, pending of course she is not a lesbian seeking a dominant female herself. (And my own experience taught me that EVEN THEN, she will still be attracted to a dominant male). When you are a man and you want to talk to women about various emotions, to enter her emotional reality, you must be careful that you are using descriptive language to lead the interaction, and not just to share emotions with her. If you lead the interaction with stories of your own emotions, then you are a man. If you only share your emotions with her, you could end up one of the girls. (For more on this idea, check out my book on Storytelling.) For w o m e n , there is no such thing as a shy guy. They see it in two different ways: either you are gay or you are not sure. "Shyness" from guys means he is either playing games, or a fag. No middle of the way. If the two of you meet again, do not be surprised if she tests you on topics of sexuality. These are the only two possible ways in how she sees this situation. Sometimes, you may end up being hit on by a very attractive girl, because by pure chance you were doing something right (good body language, eye contact, etc..) If you are too shy to capitalize on this, first she'll say to herself "wow, this guy is different and isn't that much into me", but after a while, if you do not approach back, this will turn into "this guy is gay" and not something else. In a woman's mind, there is no such thing as a shy guy. Good News The good news for guys that are straight but come off as gay is that you may have an easier time learning to understand the way women process emotions. As an emotional being yourself, your greatest weakness in attracting them, can become your greatest strength in understanding them. It makes you better capable of understanding a woman's emotional reality. Sometimes the worst of losers make for the best of seducers for exactly this reason.

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So what about bisexual men? I was asked by a bisexual woman who wanted to know how this category would apply to bisexual men. Here is what I think: I actually do know women that are more than able to tolerate their boyfriends and husbands having male lovers. This is more common than people seem ready to admit, and with good reason. Bisexual men are on the receiving end of lots of prejudice. Even men who like bisexual women, and some bisexual women themselves, have some aggression towards bi-guys. This is very present in the open swinger circles. My response is that even if the man is bisexual, he MUST still demonstrate that he likes PUSSY more than DICK. For example, he might demonstrate that he has emotional and sexual relationships with women, and only sexual relationships with men. In some communities, this is called being on the down-low. Personally, I still think this is a slippery slope, and I honestly do not know more than just theory on this topic from what I know in the studies I did in the swinger circles, polyamory open relationship cultures, and women who told me about having dated gay and bisexual men.

That is why you MUST fuck her When you do not fuck her, when it is time to fuck her, do not be surprised that she will think you might be gay. That is what she is going to tell herself to make herself feel good about you not going for it. If you do not even make a pass at her, she will think to herself: "He didn't kiss me, so he must be gay... he will make a good friend, and I will be there for him when he is ready to come out of the closet... just like my other girlfriends experience with their gay male friends".

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If you do not want her thinking you are gay, then FUCK her. It will not be everything you need to do to prove you like pussy, but it is a good start. Fucking her is the LEAST you can do to prove you are not gay.

How failing this test makes her your mother Part of her mothering instinct is to feel sorry for someone that is unhappy with who they are. Not being able to handle one's own sexuality is a sign of a lack of maturity. When a woman senses that a man is not fully mature, she turns off her [over capacity, and turns up the mothering. If she senses you are gay, but hiding it, the PITY emotions evoke in her mothering instincts. Once she is in that mothering emotional state with you, she loses all sexual attraction for you.

How passing makes her your special lover After reading in this section about a woman's fear of her man being gay, I am sure that by now, you can only imagine the relief she feels when a man that she likes demonstrates that he is not gay. Being able to make her feel that relief makes her feel special, and she will fuck you long and hard to repay you for this rare gift. She will be so turned on by you that she HAS to fuck you, thus becoming your lover.

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Chapter 4

10 Ways to Address Emotional Needs Pass the Tests and Get Sex

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In this chapter, I will present the methods that I use that have worked for me, to pass a woman's tests and best address all her emotional needs. I have tried them all and they all worked for me, so maybe they will work for you. What I am writing is based on my studying and experience.

Frank Analysis of a Test Passing tests has to do with one thing, and one thing only: To address the emotional need that she is communicating. Beyond the words, beyond the literal meaning, is a multiple level of communication that houses the emotional need being communicated. Part 1: • Identify what is said • Identify what is meant • Identify what is the emotional need Once you have identified the emotional need, you proceed to the next phase of the analysis. Part 2: •Choose best method that suits you in the given circumstance to respond •Respond •Have Sex after the minimum required emotional needs have been addressed

In everything a woman says, there is an emotional need being communicated. The way you respond to these tests, or the way you pre empty these tests with your actions, behaviors and approach is where she will make a judgment of her impression of your value as a male. The more emotional needs you address, the higher she perceives value in you.

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At the heart of every method of addressing her emotional needs is the idea of paying her, or withdrawing from her, YOUR ATTENTION. Some emotional needs are best addressed by paying her attention, while others work based on the premise of taking your attention away. I think of it as a balancing act of paying her, and not paying her attention. For those of you reading this, bear in mind, that you may already do some, or all of these things unconsciously. I admit that you may in fact have ways of addressing her emotional needs, even better than I. The following is NOT a complete list by any stretch of the imagination. I just choose what I think to be the top 10 ways and methods that I have used that have worked for me. If you have another way, that you believe addresses a woman's emotional needs, that is not on this list, please contact me through my website, and do share it. I would love to learn more. For the purposes of this book, I have also categorized the 10 ways to address her emotional needs into two sub groupings. 5 of them are based in using Words, and the other 5 are based in using Actions. Some guys are more language skill oriented, while others are much more action driven. To be truly proficient, and for a woman to see the highest value of you possible, it would be best for you to learn a few of each. But, at least you can know which ones to start with, assuming you know yourself well, and thus speed up the learning process.

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10 Ways to Address Her Emotional Needs Words 1- Story Telling 2- Be Playful 3- Sincere Vulnerability 4- Pick A Fight 5- Make Her Feel She Has Earned It (Using Suspicion) Actions 6- Taking Lead Action 7- Physically (Hugging to Penetration) 8- Ignore the test, but do not ignore her 9- Tell her that you just want to be friends 10- Walk away, do not ever look back

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Method # 1 to Address Her Emotional Needs Story Telling One of the BEST ways to address her emotional needs is through telling stories about your life. Each story should address one main emotional need, and a few secondary needs. What makes this work best is that, now that you know the 10 main emotional need categories, you can prepare 10 stories to tell, with each one addressing an emotional need. And the great part about that, is that you can tell her all 10 stories, within the first date, or say the first 45 minutes of meeting her, and address her emotional needs even before she tests you for them. For example, let's say you are going to tell her a story about one of your favorite childhood memories. This story could be about your first trip to an amusement park or a travel story. The emotional need here being addressed could be making her feeeeeel and emotional range through tale of adventure, or perhaps you want to cater to the little girl in her since it is a story about childhood, or even a story about a secret bond you made with another kid that you never broke to address her emotional need of her reputation being protected. As long as the stories you tell, are YOUR stories and not someone else's stories, they will work. I was once asked to write out one of my stories about a personal base philosophy of mine by a guy that just wanted an example of what such a story that addresses emotional needs would look like on paper. He was a friend, and I figured he was being sincere, so I took the chance. Thus I wrote down such a story and gave it to him. A few days later, I get an email from him saying he just met some girl online, and he emailed her my story as if it were HIS. He said that she was really interested in talking to him more and even meeting him for coffee. Then when she started to question him more about the ideas in that story he emails me to ask me w h a t he should do next, and to explain the concepts in the story.

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I told him that since it was MY story he sent, and not his own, that she was really interested in meeting me, not him. Therefore, his next step would be for me to go meet her instead of him. As you can imagine my dear reader, not only did I not get to meet her, but I did not hear from that guy again. Good riddance. The more emotional needs your stories address, the quicker the two of you will bypass regular social norms, and end up together sooner.

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Method # 2 to Address Her Emotional Needs Be Playful Being playful is a way to incorporate humor, without ever being insulting or bullying. I have provided here a specific structure for you to follow, so if you lack imagination or a better sense of humor, you will still be able to be playful. The rule is a two step process to follow when you are being playful is that when she accuses you of something: 1- You simply agree, and then 2- Take it to an absolutely EXTREME RIDICULOUS end. You see, she already believes whatever it is that she is accuses you of, and she expects you to deny it. There is no use arguing with her. Thus when she accuses you, or puts you on the spot to clarify s o m e t h i n g , just A G R E E no matter how bad it is. By following this two step process, it works on more than one level, and addresses various emotional needs. First, by simply agreeing with her (you show honesty), and you also take control of the frame (which shows dominance). Then you follow up so quickly with an absolutely extreme ridiculous end that she will not be s u r e how to react and j u s t laugh ( h a v e a r a n g e of emotions). Depending on what it is she is accusing you of, you could also be reassuring her that everything is OK and that she is concerned for nothing (fear of abandonment), and your playful response makes her feel like being a kid again (cater to the little girl in her), plus it is a way to actually bypass her concern, but still pay attention to her (knowing when and what to ignore). This is by far the most popular and most fun way to pass a test that I teach. It is the easiest one to perform and doesn't have to be done in any perfect manner. Being playful addresses the emotional needs by

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presenting a situation so outrageous that it has to be a j o k e . Humor is used to diffuse a situation, and you appear too cool to be concerned with her r a m b l i n g . This gives you power to lead the frame, and let her follow you into it, so that she doesn't have to worry about it either. If you do it right, she will simply figure it is a non-issue and will allow for herself whatever she needs to believe in order to move the experience forward. The only danger is that if you do not calibrate to the girl in front of you, you could really come off as a jerk. If this happens, go to sincere vulnerability, or switch to a different mode.

Here are an example:

Her: You are a womanizer aren't you? You: Of Course! In fact, , next week 1 am installing a revolving door, this way I can service all the women with my place, even when 1 am not home. As a matter of fact, there is a line up right now, just waiting outside my house. You are just going to have to take a number, and get to the back of the line. No cutting for you. It is so outrageous a story, it has to be false, but using humor diffuses the situation, and since you don't make an issue of it, she doesn't have to either. You lead the frame, she follows, and she gets to think whatever she wants to make herself feel better. Probably not the most perfect response as I myself, do not have that great of a sense of humor. However, I have used exactly this one many times, and it always got a laugh, and it completely diffused the tensions. It addressed her emotional needs.

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Method # 3 to Address Her Emotional Needs Sincere Vulnerability This one takes skill. It is about treading the fine line between coming from a position of strength or weak neediness. This is where we find items like saying your sorry for the way she feels (which shows strength and acknowledges her emotions) instead of saying you're sorry just for her forgiveness (which shows neediness if you haven't actually done anything wrong). Do you see the difference? Choosing your words here is sooooo important, because you do not want to come off as if you are seeking pity. In this, you reveal elements of yourself that are private and secret. This causes the two of you to reach a new level of closeness, and still presents you as strong man. Other example includes talking about the special things that you really feel passionate about. It MUST c o m e f r o m a place of inner s t r e n g t h . The Strength to be Vulnerable. It is not about the action you do, it is about the source of your energy. What energy is behind an action? A r e you v u l n e r a b l e because you are c o m f o r t a b l e in your own world like a high value alpha, or because you are hiding insecurities and seeking pity? One of the BEST things that this response does is shows her that you are not too high out of her league. If you come off too strong, and too high value, she may start to feel that you are too good for her, and that she has no chance to keep you around. Thus, this response makes you more human and attainable, so she feels the two of you are closer in the range of value. For example: Her: / remember when we were kids, that time you got stood up at your prom! Me: Yeah, that was rough. I never even found out why that happened. 1 was bummed out for months after that. But 1 think that, in the end, it was a good experience for me. 1 learned the value of keeping your word, and how

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to judge people on that, i would never want to hurt someone like that, because i was really hurt.

Here is another example: Her: / bet you bring a LOT of girls back to your place You: "Whenever I get the chance. 1 love bringing people home and giving them the chance to look into my soul through the way I really live." It is about showing you have some depth, that you love women, but without being needy for her attention. This is a fine line, and should only be used when you are comfortable with it You are addressing the emotional needs through intimacy. Yeah, it's sappy, but it works. That is all I care about. At some point, you are going to get so good at addressing her emotional needs, that you will be TOO GOOD, and women will start to feel that you are too good for them. When you see that girls you like, and who seem to like you are running away from you, that is the sign that you need to use LOTS more sincere vulnerability in your communication.

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Method # 4 to Address Her Emotional Needs Pick A Fight

A man's willingness to pick a fight is one of the biggest obstacles to face in most of my client base. They act as if it is their programming to fear pissing off women. Being a too nice a guy means to never want to fight with, or upset, women. This is bad. Why? Lets look at what happens: Girl behaves badly, you get mad but you don't call her on it. Anger builds up in you, but you don't release it, and she continues to behave badly because you never set her straight. More time passes, and you get more and more angry, and she thinks it is OK to treat you badly. Finally one day you e x p l o d e , and she is pissed with you, not only for exploding, but also because she feels that you w e r e n ' t honest with her from the beginning. This issue of honesty is on many levels. First, if you are afraid to tell her anything, that means she has to be the strong one in the relationship, and she sees you as weak. Also, she will assume the reason that you "lied" to her is that you are just trying to get her into bed, which means that she doubts everything you have said to her ever. Which also means that now she can not trust you to maintain her reputation if she fucks you. Lastly, if you are afraid to talk to her, how are you going to stand up to other people (like your boss) when you are wronged? How does that make her feel? Protected by you? Safe? Nope. We have to get over this notion that it is bad to piss off women. All women NEED drama in their lives. It makes them feel emotionally alive. Without drama, a woman will go out of her way to create some illusion of drama, partly to test you, and partly because it satisfies some emotional hunger of hers.

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Guys, think on this: Women get approached all the time, even the ugly ones. They are used to guys lying to them to get into their pants. Most guys don't call w o m e n on their tests and bullshit because they are afraid of pissing of the woman and losing the potential lay. So, a woman will assume (based on her reality of the above) that any guy who is willing to pick a fight with her, and piss her off, and risk not getting laid, MUST REALLY LIKE HER ENOUGH TO BE HONEST WITH HIS DISPLEASURE OF HER! This can be a fun one, but it can also get way out of hand too. There are two kinds of fights. 1-False fights 2-Real fights False fights You pick a fight that you aren't out to win or lose. I am serious about this. You must structure the fight to end in a resolution that clears up a misunderstanding between the two of you. Remember, you do not "Start" a false fight. You "Pick" a false fight. Under the false fight philosophy, it is structured to look like it is her starting the fight, and you are the one finishing it. This requires you to be able to manage her if she turns out to enjoy a good argument. The way this works is that you purposely misinterpret what she says as an insult (maybe insinuating exactly the opposite of what her words are). Then you get angry that she has no right to even question you about that. In your outburst, you directly address her emotional need but acting as if it is the secondary issue of your argument. Why this works is that women simply believe that men lie all the time, and men are only nice to them to get into their pants. That is their reality. So when a guy gets angry with them, or puts them in there place

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(including calling them on their bullshit) she has no choice but to believe EVERYTHING he says is true. This is why many women will purposefully press your buttons. Only in anger will the words of a man be truthful (in their reality). Women think you are honest when you get mad. If you are too nice and not willing to argue, they suspect you are dishonest, because that's how women are with each other. For example: You are taking a girl to your apartment. She makes a comment to test you. The test is, "1 bet you bring a LOT of girls here." The emotional need (for the purposes of this example only) is that she wants to feel that she is unique to you, and that she isn't just another notch in your belt, so you will not abandon her. Using False Fight: You: "What the hell is THAT suppose to mean? Look you, 1 am very selective about who 1 bring here, and just because 1 don't let everybody into my house doesn't make me anti-social. 1 have taste, and only invite in people that 1 think will being value to my life, so don't you dare make an issue of it!" She meant it as a statement that I might be a "player" and would abandon her after sex. I misinterpret her test as her insulting me, and insinuating that I am actually "anti-social". It makes no logical sense, but I have made this work for me. At this point, but because you misinterpretation, she for any insinuations. backfire.

you have addressed the emotional need, took it to an absolute extreme of will usually get defensive, and apologizes Like I said: "USUALLY". This can easily

The danger with this method is that, depending if she is damaged goods, or you just do it poorly, it could start a REAL argument. Good for her drama cookie, but bad if you do not know how to manage it. After that, you

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get to "forgive" her. Her emotional need is addressed, and she got a little drama too. Plus, now that you too have had your first "fight", the rapport you build afterwards will get to be even deeper. I have experimented with this theory with my lovers, and it always worked to make them feel even closer to me. The structure of the false fight: 1-She says something that, if taken out of context could be very insulting to you 2-The "insult" must be directly against one of the premises for her to feel attraction to you 3-Call her on it, and pretend to get angry that she would even ever suggest that you weren't the type of man you are 4-Act like you can't stand to be in her presence 5-Give her the opportunity to explain herself, and apologize 6-Grudlingly, accept the apology with resentment, "I still can't believe you would think that.." attitude. 7-Later in the evening, bring up how you are so glad that your c o n n e c t i o n with her is such that you can have disagreements and misunderstandings, but that the way you two connect is enough to get through the silly things, and you are stronger than most any other couple. The result: She gets to experience a variety of emotions (emotional range), she sees you call her on her "bullshit" (honesty), she sees that you are willing to let her see you get angry with her (dominance ), you get to appear like a m a n , thus she must a c k n o w l e d g e a trait about you that will cause feelings of attraction in her (high quality sperm), and since the two of you got past this, she feels even more connected to you (she is unique to you and does not fear abandonment) Ok, so here is another example of a false fight: Her: i bet you try to take nude photos of all your girls (She is saying it as if to indicate that women feel comfortable with me enough to take their clothes off with me and pose for the camera. This is a positive

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statement she is making, that I will interpret as a negative one) Analysis: The "insult" is that I am so desperate, that I will take a picture of ANY woman, that I am not selective, and that I can't attract special people. Me: How dare you insult me like that! The ONLY women that 1 ever want to photograph are the ones that are extra special to me, the ones that have the nicest souls, not the nicest bodies. Taking these photos are a VERY private matter for me and / won't just do it with ANYONE. 1 have turned down more gorgeous women than you to have me take pictures of them, because 1 didn't like them as people, / am not a slut! 1 am very selective about who I share myself with in this way, and don't you ever again insinuate that 1 am a low quality person. As I said the above paragraph, I start with a tonality that is low and in an insulted fashion, and then slowly raise my voice all the way through until I have raised my voice, just below a scream at the end of it. Look at the attraction mechanism at work. You communicated that you aren't needy for gorgeous women, that if you ask her one day to pose nude for you, it means she MUST be specially unique to you, you are selective, you have high quality sperm to have other women like you enough to pose and are sought after by other women, you called her on her bull and are willing to take the hit ...etc... Now, act like you can't stand to be in her presence. At this point she will get pissed off with you. THIS IS A TEST. You MUST MAINTAIN YOUR FRAME UNTIL SHE BELIEVES IT. And you stand your ground, PERIOD, until she sees that you believe your own argument. Finally she will concede. Then, W h e n she explains that she didn't mean it that way, that she never would even think that of you, etc.... (yeah right) until she says "sorry"

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Act like you grudgingly accept and get on with the evening, then just a few minutes later, make the effort to change to topic of conversation completely. A few more minutes, and act like nothing happened. Later in the evening bring up how isn't it w o n d e r f u l and rare that two people could still w a n t to be together... bring up the fight, and how you both now feel closer than ever. Try it out guys. Getting her angry can be a GOOD THING.

Real Fights When the fight is real, raising your voice is probably not the best thing, nor is being accusing of her. If it turns out you are wrong, you want to have an out. The point of the real fight is to point out, when she is acting out in a way that you will not accept nor tolerate. The best way to start is to state the following line: "I feel very disappointed with you"

This is a magic line. Not only does it reassure her that you still love her, and will not abandon her, it also caters to the little girl in her, because this is how an infant child is scolded. By the way, a real fight is NO time for jokes or cocky styled humor. Do not look to situation comedy television to handle real life. And when you do call her directly on her bullshit, it must be IMMEDIATE. No waiting, days and days. In person, calibrate to the environment. You may need to step up right away, or wait until the two of you are alone to fight. On the phone, again you must calibrate to the environment, but usually now is better than later.

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For more on calibration check out my story telling book. Forget fighting online. Never leave a printed record of your fight. Never. Here is a sample situation. I was seeing this woman, and we had gone out to lunch. At the counter when we ordered and paid, she totally belittled and over-reacted at one of the cashiers who made a simple mistake in the way we were paying. Well, I was very angry at her for the way she behaved in public. W h e n we sat down to eat, she sensed that I was upset, and I calmly told her how disappointed I was in her. I acted calm, direct, and totally spoke from a place of power. When we got into the parking lot, I scolded her, and she even cried a little. I told her that I was going back into the restaurant to apologize for her behavior to the cashier. So I did. She was pissed with me that day. BUT, here is an excerpt of an email I got from her days later:

"I have never allowed anyone to dominate me - not in my entire life. Largely because I knew they did it with demeaning intentions or because they thought of me as an object in some way: some "thing" that needs to fit in properly with their life or environment. I've been a spiritual street fighter - warrior, some might call it - for a long time. With you I can finally rest. I hope you know how much I treasure you - and our relationship. With no expectations. Geez, I'm getting emotional now. Better go."

I believe that all women want to be dominated in this respectful manner, it is NOT a rarity. Look at the words in her email. I want you to know this is not an isolated incident.

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Method # 5 to Address Her Emotional Needs Make Her Feel She Earned Your Attention

SUSPICION is the secret magic word of the day for this emotional need addresser. Everything to do with this method is the idea of how much attention you give her, and the ways she feels about the attentions that you give her. Once you can master your own behaviors of giving her attention, then using this method might become the Strongest addresser you got. Giving Attention. Taking Away Attention Well if attention is what she wants, then attention is what I should just give her without asking right? WRONG. She needs to feel like she has earned it. In her reality, Attention that is given too freely, can also be taken away just as too freely. This is why, sometimes, when she asks you to do something, you actually have to say "NO". She is testing you to see if you give your attention too freely. For example, lets say you just met in a club environment, and you are both standing away from the bar, and she asks you to go all the way to the bar to get her a pack of matches. If you can see that she has no legitimate reason that she could not go herself, it is a test to see if you give attention away too freely. She is testing for dominance and to see if you are the type who would quickly abandon her. By saying, "No" you establish your dominance, and that she must EARN your attentions. That addresses her fear of future abandonment from you. Punishing her for Bad Behavior When a woman tests us with behaving badly, for example acting out at a family function, a man must punish her. Not with violence of course, but the same way you would punish a child. Withholding on certain privileges and such. Instead of going out to a fancy dinner on Saturday night, punishment is going out to fast food burger joint. That sort of thing.

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Never use sex as a punishment. As a reward, OK, but the lack of sex should never be a punishment. It can only work against you in the long run. When thinking about setting rules and punishments for when women don't follow the rules my t h o u g h t s are all over the place, but I did nail down some key concepts: 1-You must have rules (criteria) about what you will and won't accept from her 2-You must let her know what the rules are 3-Becuase it is in a woman's nature, she WILL test you to see if you are serious about those rules 4-Rule infraction must have a punishment. The punishments that you come up with should not end a potentially good relationship with a woman. Threatening to break up with her is not the best punishment you can make for the small infractions. For the big ones, sure, but not the small o n e s . Yet the punishments must be strong enough that the point gets made about following the rules. S o m e t i m e s , all it takes is to scold her like a little girl. That small action has an incredible impact on women like you would not believe. That is my personal preferred punishment. I get to avoid violence and still teaches her a lesson, and she gets her emotional needs met and is thankful for my dominance. I like this system best. Make her feel Qualified to be with you The BEST way to make her feel she has earned your attention with something other than her looks, is to make her feel that she QUALIFIED to be with you.

/

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Here are my three ways of making a woman feel like she qualified to be with me. And by the way, this SHOULD be true for you. A man that is too picky usually is alone a lot. However that man that is not picky enough never makes her feel secure. Again, the rule is that attention given too freely is attention that can just as easily be taken away. One: Write out a list of the criteria for the women that you seek for a long term relationship, a short term fling, a regular fuck-buddy, a one night stand, a female friend, a simple acquaintance and a woman that you would not touch with a ten foot pole. Once you establish this hierarchy of criteria, it is on these criteria that you will TEST her on, in order to determine what role a woman will fulfill in your life. These criteria will be the basis for the QUESTIONS you will ask her throughout the interaction. The questions are your method of qualifying her, making you the selector and she the selected ...if she passes enough of the criteria. FOCUS on what role she is to fill for YOUR Life. When you take this line of communication, use the emotion of SUSPISION in your conversation. Once she passes your inspection, it is then she will naturally feel that she has earned and deserving of your attention. Two: When she asks a direct boring question (so what do you do for a living) that you do not have a good answer for, turn the tables around and ask her something else first. If she answers your questions first, then you answer her question next. Message is: I give nothing for free. She must "earn" my time. It sounds like it is something that would turn women off, but I have tried it, and it actually helps turn them on.

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Three: Finally, Never answer a question that you do not want to answer (i.e. Gentlemen never tell that), and be perfectly willing to say, "I am not telling Y O U that." If she continues to badger you, tell her she is on the verge of d i s q u a l i f y i n g herself. It is j u s t a test on her part to see if you protect women's reputations. Chances are she will respect you and would stick around to talk to you more. If she walks away, no big loss. It means she would wreak your reputation if she could.

The Touch-Test This is the biggest test regarding making her feel she earned it. Some women will get very touchy-feely with you too fast. The test is whether or not you will call them on it, and brush them away or if you will just accept it and give her lots of attention right away. By touchy-feely, I am not talking about simply holding your hand or caressing your arm. I am talking about w h e n you have just met a w o m a n , and she immediately starts to play with your jewelry, hugging you, grabbing your ass, and is basically all over you as if she were already your lover. Now, you KNOW you did nothing that would make her act like this with you. (Stop hoping for some nonsense porno-only fantasy. This is your life, and if this thing happened to you already, you would not be reading this book). Since you know that you did nothing that would make a woman fall all over you like this, THAT is what makes you be able to identify it as a test. At this point, you need to tell her to step back (politely of course), and to keep her hands to herself UNTIL she earns if from you. I have tried letting her touch me, and I have tried telling her to stop. When I let her touch me, we have a quick talk, and then she causally walks away. When I tell her to stop b e c a u s e she has not e a r n e d it, the

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women react with a mixture of surprise, shock and laughter. They ALWAYS stuck around to get to know me more. ALWAYS. One woman was having her birthday party at a bar, and when I walked by her she just reached over, grabbed my hat and put it on. I had never even met her before. She made some comment that it was her birthday and she can do what she wants. I told her she was rude, and just took the hat back and put it on again. She said that she didn't want to wear my hat anyways because it was smelly. I told her she must be right, because it was her birthday. Within 30 minutes from that moment, I was in another part of the club talking to a different lady, and birthday girl came running out to hang out with me telling me how cool I was, etc ...she took pictures of us together, and even introduced me to every girlfriend she had in the place as a "really cool guy". This woman looked like she could easily make a living off her appearance. It was a nice night. Most guys, when are presented with this test, especially by a pretty girl will think she is giving him a sign that she likes him. I disagree. She may be m o m e n t a r i l y attracted to him, and test him based on her attraction, but he gets distracted by the way she looks, and forgets to have boundaries. He allows himself to be controlled by his attraction to her. No woman wants a man that is so easily manipulated by women. So guys, here is the belief that I want you all to adopt: She, regardless of what she looks like, has to EARN the right to touch you sensually, and any woman that is giving you too much too soon, that you KNOW you did not earn, is out to test you. Period. A high value male is CHOOSY about the women he fucks. A man that will fuck anything is a low quality male (a beta), who MUST fuck anything because he can't get what he really wants. A high value alpha demonstrates his value, by being suspicious of women, of qualifying them, or making them earn his sex and attention. In other words, yeah you want sex, but since

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you are high value, you get to be choosy. If you are choosy, you must be special. If you are special and choosy and you C H O O S E HER because she has earned it, then that makes her.... feel special!!! Emotional need is met. Just because you are into "sex" doesn't particularly mean you MUST be into her ...she has to earn it. If she gets to earn it, THEN she feels special in banging you. More clear? Much of a woman's PERCEPTION of self worth comes from the amount of male attention she can generate. You as the male help make her feel validated by your male attention. In this regard almost everything a woman does, or does not do, is based on one thing only: MALE A T T E N T I O N . As long as she gets male attention she is validated. That is why sometimes, you are trying to pick up a girl, and you give her too much attention, which makes her want to get away from you instead of giving you her phone number. Getting this male attention from men, but not wanting to have sex with him is what I call her getting, "her emotional cookie man". (Read the chapter in this book on emotional cookie men for more details.) She gets her validation, and then moves on to get validation from someone else. The best time to give her ALL the attention she needs is AFTER you have sex with her first. It's mean, but for some girls, it is the ONLY thing they respond too.

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Method # 6 to Address Her Emotional Needs Taking Action Taking action, is about taking LEAD action. Sometimes, no words will ever be enough to address all of a woman's emotional needs. So when words fail, time to kick it into action. Taking action is the quickest and probably one of the most effective methods of addressing a woman's emotional needs. Approaching Women Do you know how powerful it is for a man to approach a woman he has never met before? Never mind all the theories on approaching her directly or indirectly, look at all the emotional needs it addresses: If he approaches her, not only is her reputation protected because she is not the one going out there and being "too easy" by approaching men, her reputation is actually boosted because someone out there, chose to approach her. Being approached makes women feel a range of emotions from apprehension and fear of a stranger to exhilaration and attraction and connection to the man approaching her. She is relieved of the responsibility of the interaction, and once he reassures her that she is safe that makes her feel protected like daddy's little girl. A man approaching her is the opposite of him abandoning her. If she can trust him to approach her, even at the risk of her rejecting him or telling him off, she knows he is honest about his intentions Only a man that approaches women is a man that could handle the fact she is a sexual being, otherwise he would not approach. A man that goes after what he wants MUST have high quality sperm that he

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would pass on to his offspring. If he approaches women, chances are that he is not gay. Chasing Women All of those same principles above for how approaching women also apply her under openly pursuing a particular woman. Some women NEED to be chased. However, a man that cannot address her emotional needs is seen as a low value male and therefore, when he chases her, it continues to lower his value. When a woman is being pursed by a high value male who addresses her emotional needs, that makes her feel very special, and it addresses her emotional needs, in much the same way as approaching t h e m does. Pursuing a woman is NOT an act of weakness IF you demonstrate that you are a high value beforehand.

Being her Protector One of the best addressed emotional needs that taking lead action is the emotional need for her to feel safe with you...this is BIG. I find it ironic that one of the biggest reasons that nice guys do not approach women is that they do not want to scare her. In fact, women are MORE afraid of the men that do NOT approach her. At least with the men that approach her, she knows his intentions. The one that does not approach is the one that is more likely to attack her. In addition to this, a man that looks out for a woman's safety when he is with her, causes her to feel attraction. For example, if you are walking along the street with her and you realize she is on the outside of the curb, you immediately stop walking, and get her onto the inside of the curb, and let her know you are doing it purposefully to protect her from possible on-coming cars.

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Another example is if you are riding the subway trains with her, adjust your position relative to her so that if and when the train throttles, you are in a position to catch her if she stumbles. By the way, this is great way to meet a woman, by standing in such a way that you become her hero when she falls into your arms. This may even include keeping one hand free just to hold her at the small of her back, to help her maintain balance. W h e n doing this with a w o m a n that you are talking to on a moving vehicle, it signals absolute protector to her. Stand Your Ground When taking actions that will generate attraction, there will be times that the people around you, including your lover, will not be happy about it, nor will she condone it. However, this is when the idea of making her feel attraction versus making her happy comes directly into play. Whatever her reactions, after you take action that you know is right, you MUST STAND YOUR GROUND. Many years ago, before my c a t h a r s i s ( c h e c k out my book From Loser to Seducer for more information) while I was still a student, I was part of a radio program as an on-air editorialist. The show was produced at a professional broadcast radio station, whose signal went over the entire city and outskirts. It was the biggest radio station at the time. I was lucky to have been a part of it. Also at the time, I had a girlfriend that was being pursued by a guy that I knew. I did not like the situation one bit. One day he tried to persuade her with a bottle of wine, and when she told me about it, I was not happy. I told her to listen in that week to my live on-air editorial, and if that guy contacted her again, that she should let him know that he should listen in too. She wanted to know w h a t I w a s up to, but I w o u l d not tell her, nor anyone at the station what I was planning.

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That week, I went on air, and did my regular editorial, but near the end of it, I used the last few seconds of it to send a special message to "someone". It was a message to the guy (no name mentioned) with some off hand remark about bottles of wine, and some other comments that I do not remember, but the essence of the message was clear. "Stay away from my girl or else!" I was careful enough with my words, but the station executive producer did give me lecture and a warning about ever doing something like that again. Also my girlfriend was FRANTIC when I talked to her next. Her friends all thought I was nuts. She could not believe that I would do something like that. I stood my ground, and told her that whatever the consequences were, I did not regret it. The guy stopped coming around, and never pursued her again. I won. And whether or not my then girlfriend would admit it, she acted a lot more affectionate with me in all ways, than before the incident. My actions spoke louder than w o r d s , and a l t h o u g h she v e r b a l l y was a n g r y with me, all of her actions showed she was more attracted to me than ever. The sex was amazing. But I did make one mistake in this whole thing. Over time (months), despite the fact that I was getting the better result, her friends kept telling her to dump me, and she kept bringing up the incident. Overtime, I stood on less and less ground with her. Then one day, I finally broke, and I apologized for what I said on the air. I really started to feel bad about it. I started to feel guilty for standing my ground. Do you want to guess what happened? Yup. Within a week she broke up with me. By then admitting to being wrong about something that I felt right about, I just confirmed all the doubts, that all her friends had put into her head about me. Because I did not stand my ground, I came off as in-congruent, and that was enough for her friends to get a hold of her. I had turned into such a pussy, and did not understand exactly what h a p p e n e d until I figured out my

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learning's years later. I started off strong, and ended up weak, like most average men do in relationships. So where are these people now? She is older and very much alone. And all of her "friends" including the guy that pursued her, do not even associate with her anymore. So much for those "friends" of hers. At this point most guys would say, "Yeah well, she deserved it!". No she does not. This is my fault. As a man, it was my job to stay stronger and stand my ground. I took action, I got better results for it, and then I let outside influences make me feel bad about it.

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Method # 7 to Address Her Emotional Needs Physically (Hugging to Penetration) In this method of addressing her emotional needs, we look at taking actions that are physical in nature between you and her. These are much more intimate than the actions of the previous method. It goes w i t h o u t saying that the more intense and intimate the touching, the more emotional needs will be addressed. That is why full penetration sex is the best form of Physically, because it addresses ALL the emotional needs in one action. Let's Get Physical as the song says. She wants to hear your body talk.

Touch her This covers things like handshakes, holding hands, helping her out of a car or s t e p p i n g off big rocks, and touching her gently on her arms and back. During my storytelling seminars I teach men how to comfortably and safely touch women" in this manner, and how to tell stories so that the man can respectfully initiate touching a woman. It is always done in a way that is safe, respectful, and protects her reputation at all times.

Hug Her This one is best used for her emotional need to cater to the little girl in her and in reassuring her that everything is going to be OK, and that you got it all under control.

Sensually Touch Her The magic word here is Fore play. This covers everything from basic massage, to more sexual and sensual touching like pulling her hair, or slapping her ass. In this form of touching, it is not only the physical

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sensation of the bodies touching, but the emotional impacts

Fuck Her That is why you MUST Fuck her. I wrote a section in each emotional need description, on exactly how important it is to fuck her when it is time to fuck her. So I will not re-write it here again. By this time, I certainly hope you get the point. There is no greater form of touching a woman that will address her emotional needs as quickly, efficiently and directly as fucking her will.

Physically and addressing her emotional needs Lets look at some of the ways that touching her addresses her emotional needs. The more intense the touch, the more her emotional needs are met. That is why full penetration sex is more useful than just a handshake in relationships. If he touches her first and in a way that does not hurt her, not only is her reputation protected because she is not the one going out there and being "too easy" by touching men first, her reputation is actually boosted because someone out there, chose to touch her. Being touched makes women feel a range of emotions from apprehension and fear of a stranger to exhilaration and attraction and connection to the man touching her. She is relieved of the responsibility of the touching, and once he reassures her that she is safe that makes her feel protected like daddy's little girl. He touches her because she is unique to him, thus a man touching her is the opposite of him abandoning her. If she can trust him to touch her, even at the risk of her rejecting him or telling him off, she knows he is honest about his intentions.

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Only a man that touches women in the right way is a man that could handle the fact she is a sexual being, otherwise he would not touch. A man that goes after what he wants and touches her, MUST have high quality sperm that he would pass on to his offspring. If he likes touching women, chances are that he is not gay.

Not a touchy-touchy guy? A woman I know used to tell me that North American culture is a "touch-starved" society. How right she is. It is up to you reading this book, to help combat this plague of people afraid to be held by others. Start with yourself FIRST. This is for all the guys out there that tell me they are not touchers who want exercises I can recommend to get over this. Here are a couple of suggestions: 1-Start HUGGING. Hug your mom, sister, cousins, try it out with all your friends. When they ask what's up with that, tell them its your social experiment for the month. Do you have a cat or dog? Hug them. Some animal shelters/SPCA have times when visitors are encouraged to come in and spend time with the a n i m a l s to show t h e m s o m e a f f e c t i o n . Go t h e r e . Not only will it get you out of the house, but it will also be good practice to get used to the feeling of a warm body being close to yours. If you are not used to affection, it can feel weird at first. ..for the first few times at least. This is common with girls that have been abused in the past or who come from dysfunctional families. They are not at ease with touching... .same thing here. Get used to the feeling of another warm body close to you. Nothing sexual, just hold living beings close. In time, you will like it, and then you will start to crave it more. (Then you will understand the attraction of it)

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Touch people more often. When shaking their hand put your other hand on their shoulder. Just with double hand-shakes alone, you will already get more used to touching other people 2-Take a massage class. The best way to getting used to touch people is to do basic massages on them, not sensual massages. Basic massages for the hands, shoulders, etc. For guys in school, the best way to practice is by bringing a massage textbook with you and make sure that a girl sees you reading this. You then suggest trying out a massage technique on her, tell her that each time you learn a new massage technique you have to try it out. This is a good way of making more friends. You actually start bringing up the topic of trying things out that you can't do with other people and stuff. Things you can practice, because you can experiment, etc. And so if you do it right, she'll suggest it herself and you can escalate from there. Give hand massages to your friends, family, anyone. PRACTICE.

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Method # 8 to Address Her Emotional Needs Ignoring The Test I have always been skeptical with this one. It was suggested to me by a guy that swears it worked wonders for him. So I decided to try it, and sometimes it did work, but other times it made many situations worse, because the women felt that I did not care enough to listen to her. So, after some experimentation I finally figured out what the secret was to make ignoring her work. I hope you follow this so that you don't end up making the mistakes I made in the process of learning this. When you ignore her test, you have to be able to discern what is a legit test, and what is her just rambling. When a woman rambles like a little kid would, you can ignore it, and just pay attention to the other tests she is issuing. Ignoring the right thing shows her that you can cater to the little girl in her, and that you are dominant enough to know what to ignore. It also indicates that you have high quality sperm because you MUST have had lots of experience with other women to know what you are, and are not suppose to ignore. This works really great in clubs and bars, when the woman is just saying something to get under your skin, or if she is just in one of those moods where she needs to talk things out loud, just to get it out of her system and she does not want you to solve anything for her. The next part about ignoring a test, is that if and when you ignore the test (and this was the break through for me personally) you still have to address the emotional need behind the test, at a different time but not related to what she said. For example, when she starts talking about past lovers and her antics with them; it is a hard thing for some guys to hear. If a man does not really like to deal with her sexual past, then maybe he should just ignore

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the specifics of what she is saying in the moment, at least until the moment is past. However, a man must look at what she may have been testing him for, in revealing to him her sexual past. Does she want to see if he will talk about his own past lovers and prove he does not protect the reputation of his past partners? Does she want to see if he can handle her sexuality, whatever kinks she may have? Does she w a n t to see if he will cut her off in the conversation and take a dominant lead? Does she want to see if he has had similar e x p e r i e n c e s with other w o m e n to indicate to her, that he has high quality sperm? Or maybe is she just testing to see if he knows what to ignore and cater to the little girl in her? Depending on the context of the rest of the communication between the man and the woman, and his experience in identifying the emotional needs with the types of women he is attracted to and dates, he still must address that need, even if he ignores the original comments that first expressed her emotional need. So lets say, the emotional need was the issue of protecting her reputation, and the statements were comments of her past sex life. A man can ignore those comments initially, but later on in the date, he may wish to tell a story (method # 1) about some event in his life that would indicate that he does not kiss and tell. That would be an example of when a man can ignore the words, but address the emotional need later on. Basically, you can ignore something specific but you must still pay attention to her, and address the need she tested you for. You may ignore the literal meanings of the test, but you still need to address the need.

Ignore what they say, not what they need

she said, emotional parts and emotional

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Method # 9 to Address Her Emotional Needs Tell Her That You Just Want To Be Friends "Lets Just Be Friends" So many nice guys have heard these words, too many times over. Now my brothers, I will pass on to you to the secret of these words, and how to make them work for you when you tell these words to her. It is not often that a man will use these words with women, because it communicates that he has no interest in having sex with her. As far as most men go, men are more than happy to have sex with all their female friends. Unless of course he is gay or he is lying. When a woman is misbehaving, for example she is refusing to be intimate or even hold your hand, after you have already had sex with her, and she is not giving you a legit reason for her behavior (i.e. she just doesn't "feel" like it) this is a good time to use this method. The way this works, is that you MUST mean it. If you do not mean it, she will sense it, and it has no power to turn her around. If you did your job correctly and prove yourself high value by addressing her emotional needs, she will chase you, otherwise, she does not chase you and you lose her forever as a lover. I have used "Let's Just Be Friends" many times, but the ONLY times it has w o r k e d is w h e n I have A C T U A L L Y M E A N T IT. On those occasions, it was enough to turn her around, because it relieved her of any pressures or expectations of sex. She was then not responsible for having sex, because it got to "just happen". It addresses her emotional needs of protecting her reputation, your being dominant to relieve her of the responsibility of sex, the shock of a woman hearing a man tell it to her gives her an emotional range, she can trust you to be honest enough to piss her off, and she feels that only a high quality sperm guys can turn her down because it means you have other female options.

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Method # 10 to Address Her Emotional Needs Walk Away and Never Look Back I have included this in here for two reasons. The first is some women will only understand you are serious about walking way from her, if you actually walk away. Some women will test you, just to see how far she can go before you finally leave her. On those occasions that you walk away, and she calls you back to get together again and apologize, take your time in getting back to her, and make her sweat it out. The second is that as guys we tend to think in absolutes and extremes. When I first started teaching, I noticed t h a t s o m e guys I w o r k e d with will stay with women, or in the pursuit of the same women, in the name of addressing women's emotional needs, even if she treated him like garbage. That is not acceptable. Abandoning Her versus Walking Away The difference between abandoning her, and walking away from someone that commits an act of infringement against you. Abandoning her means that you leave just because you felt like it. She can not put faith in the fact you will stay. (There is nothing for her to make up to you, because she did not do anything wrong) Walking Away means that she did something that even she must admit was not cool, and you are leaving because of something that she has control over. (The control of making it up to you) Walking Away and not looking back means that she behaved in a manner that you find is unacceptable. Once that happens, you walk away, and you have to mean it. You ONLY go back with her, if SHE pursues you. That is it. If you have done your job right in addressing her emotional needs PRIOR to walking

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away, she will chase you. If she does not chase you, T H A T is h o w y o u k n o w y o u did not do e n o u g h to address her emotional needs. If you walk away one day, and call her up the next day, she will feel like you WILL abandon her at any t i m e . If she lets you b a c k in, you will e i t h e r be on p r o b a t i o n , or you will b e c o m e her e m o t i o n a l cookie man (see next chapter). What is Unacceptable Behavior? I wish there was an easy answer to this one. The only person that can tell you what "unacceptable" behavior means for you, is YOU. I think it comes down to the balancing the pain of being with her, versus the pleasure of being with her. But whatever your rules, it is up to you to communicate them immediately the instant she is crossing that territory. One mistake that many men make is to change what they find unacceptable. One day, disrespecting you as a joke in front of your friends is acceptable, and the next day it is not. When you are getting to know a woman, she will be scanning you for your rules, and if you do not have clear boundaries, she will fear that you will abandon her, because she feels she has no power in staying in your good graces. Be as clear as possible with YOURSELF about what you find is unacceptable behavior. The more unacceptable behaviors you decide on, the more women you disqualify from being with you. Be clear as to the WHY behind each unacceptable behavior. Doing cocaine might be an unacceptable behavior for you, or maybe her having a particular STD, or having a particular profession is off the mark for you. Then again, depending on your age, and your current situation, other elements might be considerations for you such as if the woman you date has children already, is currently married, or maybe is too young. The more you

226 know yourself, the less time you will waste with the wrong women. Over time, your standards may change. Ten years ago, you may not have dated a single mom, but today you might actually like the idea of being a step dad. Base t h e m on who you are right now, and partly on who you want to become. Sometimes, all you can do is Walk One of the NASTIEST behaviors I ever faced was the following. It was during sex. I was using a vibrator on her, and at one point she looked like she was j u s t about to c u m w h e n she asked me to stop ...I thought for sure she was about to cum. Instead she starts to cry out loud saying, "I MISS (insert her exlovers name)!!!!" and really freaks out. It destroyed me. I broke down, as I had no response. In the moment, all I knew to do is hold her until she regained her composure. Once she was calmer, I got up, got dressed and made my way out the door. Sometimes, the only thing a man can do is walk.

CALIBRATION: How do you know which one to use? The magic word is CALIBRATION. You must use calibration to decide which method to use to address her emotional needs. This is the part where you must be aware of your environment, consider your past experiences, figuring out idiosyncrasies of the particular girl, and knowing yourself to the point you know which methods work for you. All this happens in the split second after the test comes out of her mouth, and you go with what you think the primary emotional need is, a n d q u i c k l y pick t h e best m e t h o d at y o u r d i s p o s a l . That is what it means to be able to CALIBRATE.

227 Think Practice. Not Intuition If you are an overly emotional nice guy, you may have a natural inkling as to a woman's emotional needs. However, in my experience, that does not mean a man can always have a correct intuition as to which response is best for each type of w o m a n , and each type of situation. My belief is that it is better to get PRACTICE in actually addressing her emotional needs, than to rely on intuition. At least until you can re-program your intuition to identify the right method, for the right emotional need, for the right girl. Intuition can be wrong. It is programmable. Think about sexual fetishes. If intuition was always correct and reliable, then all fetishes would be for sexual intercourse that produce offspring. However, when wires get crossed and the sexual attraction is for feet, or hands, or bondage, or SM, etc... well that is a lacking in the "correct" kind of intuition. The intuition of a NICE guy is to give give give to a w o m a n in the "hopes" of sex. See what I mean? . Having intuition is not enough. It must be programmed to get results (thus the setting of goals). If your intuition was unhampered by your upbringing and your personal development, thank whatever higher power you believe in, because you got to be a lucky one. When calibrating, you must very much consider the woman you are addressing, but even MORE important is to find the style that best suits your seductive persona. Congruence causes attraction a lot more effectively than a good line on the right chick, but the wrong "line" for you. Now for the question you have all been waiting to ask: Which one do you use? The way to determine that comes in two forms: 1) Self knowledge 2) Calibration

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Self Knowledge: It is important to know yourself. If you naturally gravitate to one of the above 10 methods more than the others, then that is the one that you should use most. In my own experience, I have experimented with all of them, but I tend not to use ignoring as much as I use the others. The ones I do use, I use well because it is very congruent with who I am. It works for me because that is very close to who I am. Use what is closest to you. Calibration: This is probably the most important skill of them all. This involves having to interpret the woman that is testing you, on every level you can. Study her tonality, body language, ethnic upbringing or culture specifics if you have them... the more info you have on her, the more you can calibrate to her. Some women really like the playfulness, and others are too sensitive and being playful is the worst thing you can do. Some will be very attracted to false anger, others will be terrified of you. Calibration here means to adjust your method to give you the best maximum results with that particular girl. Check out my other book, Calibration Storytelling, on calibration and more. A combination of the above two works best. When in doubt, go with the self knowledge. It may be the wrong one. BUT you will always come off congruent, and it keeps the door open for a future attempt.

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Chapter 5 The Emotional Cookie Man When Women Take Advantage of Low Value Males

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Woman's Emotional Cookie Man When a man fails to address her emotional needs, she thinks of him as a low value male. A low value male that she keeps around to use for things OTHER than sex is also known as: The Emotional Cookie Man.

Basically, the emotional cookie is when she gets attention from you that she knows she has not earned from you; she gets things like money, gifts, drinks, attention, and then leaves without giving you back any sex. It is the OPPOSITE of qualifying her.

It's based on the idea of how little girls get cookies from her grandparents. An infant girl will decide she wants a cookie. She will approach her grandmother, because her own mother does not want her to eat an unhealthy cookie. When the child sees her grandmother, she gets a sympathy look in her eyes, modifies the sound of her voice, tilts her head just so, and without having been asked she walks up to her grandmother and gives her a great big hug. Then she looks up to her and s a y s , "Grandma, can I have a cookie?" (then modifying her voice even higher) "Pleeeeease?" "If you give me a cookie, 1 promise to clean my room, be good all the time, and love you forever." Grandma of course is taken in by the affection, the cute face, the promises she knows that will not be kept, and immediately gets her granddaughter a cookie. Now here is what makes this super manipulative. The moment the little girl gets the cookie, she quickly and quite sweetly says "Thank You", turns around and the instant she is out of range of grandma's eyes, the infant girls overall body language and demeanor changes. All the sweetness is gone from her eyes. She got her cookie. She has no intention of keeping her promises. The cookie is all she wanted.

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When a woman wants something from a man, she is more than ready to entice him with certain attentions (seductive voice and some touching with her hand in suggestive ways, but not on the male genital area) that encourages the man to assume he has even the slightest chance to nail her, when she is already more than certain, she would NEVER fuck him, even if he was the last man on earth. This is a very good tactic. Women who want to keep you interested, but who do not want to fuck you, will do it to y o u . W h e n a w o m a n does it with no intentions of fucking you, it is called "Compensation Touching". It is just enough attention that it keeps a low value male around and still hopeful... such hope in fact, that he uses the hope as the reason to forgive any previous bad behavior on her part towards him. Her behavior is so well calculated that she gets forgiven time and again, but allows her to avoid committing to sex with him. She did not see value in him (want to fuck him), so she uses him in another way that will really give her more, than it gives him. Whether or not he gets anything out of this mock friendship means nothing to her. The fact she got him doing stuff for her, for nothing in return, is a credit to her.

Emotional Cookies and Tests for Emotional Needs The reason this is significant is that sometimes a woman is playing her emotional cookie card, but a guy thinks he is passing her tests, when in fact he is falling right into her trap. So many guys get taken in by this. They end up spending money buying expensive lobster dinners, or buying her drinks, or monthly bus passes... whatever (I have heard them all).

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The way you can tell if you are passing her tests and getting proper attention, or if this is just an emotional cookie is the issue of DESERVEDNESS. Is she giving you more attention than you have earned? Yes? Then it is just emotional cookie territory, and you need to drop her, and not give in to buying her stuff or giving her extra attentions as none of these things will lead you to sex at that point.

Women as Friends But what about women that are just friends with men, and the relationship is platonic? Well, I have a rule about women friends. If they are actively helping you get laid with other women in some form, then yes, she is a worthy friend. Otherwise... She is using you as an emotional cookie, and does not see any value in you as a man. She has no interest in fucking you, and that my dear reader, is just an insult. Either she is going to fuck you herself, or help you fuck other girls, but anything else, and she is not worth your time.

The Guilt of Not Having Sex One of the signs that a woman is truly your friend is that she actually buys you stuff, or does big things for you like help you move, or cook you dinner. Why is she doing all this stuff? She does it out of GUILT. The guilt of NOT fucking you. She feels bad that she does not want to have sex with you, but sees you as a higher class low value male. You are in that gray zone where, she knows intellectually that she "should" be attracted to you, but for

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whatever reason, you haven't addressed all of her emotional needs enough to fuck you, BUT you have probably addressed a few of them and got stuck in the limbo of her mind. A good situational example of this is when the girl is the ex-wife of one of your friends, and c e r t a i n c i r c u m s t a n c e s h a v e c o m p l i c a t e d f o r both of y o u , what should be a simple sexual context. She is a woman, and has multiple levels of emotions, and the end emotion in this is GUILT. Out of that guilt, she buys stuff for you, and does stuff for you BECAUSE she is NOT fucking you.

Emotional Need #2 (Drama Cookie) vs. Emotional Cookie Man Just to be clear on the terminology. The Drama Cookie is a slang for her emotional need to feel a range of emotion. The Emotional Cookie Man is slang for the low value males that women take advantage of, by keeping those males around, sometimes under the false pretense of his hope she will change her mind about him.

Examples of Emotional Cookie Men When a woman tells you that you are her friend BUT flirts with you, and does things to get your sexual attention, maybe even touches you suggestively... until she gets what she wants. Once she gets what she wants, she is quick to cut off the attention, and move away f r o m you. She is not your f r i e n d , and she does not value you as a man, only as a provider. She got her cookie. You got no sex. Just the way she likes it. You sucker. When she calls you up to talk about her problems, but once you have solved those problems for her, and you start to talk about your day and concerns,

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she immediately has to get off the phone. She is not your friend, and she does not value you as a man, only as a therapist. She got her cookie. You got no sex. Just the way she likes it. You sucker. When she and you are together watching TV, and she is very touchy-feely with you; she hugs you or cuddles with you, but each time you try to escalate it by touching her suggestively, or sexually she backs away and rejects you. She is not your friend, and she does not value you as a man, only as a pillow. She got her cookie. You got no sex. Just the way she likes it. You sucker. You and her are at a party, when she keeps flirting with you up to the point where you start to give her sexual attention and flirt back. Then the minute you start to suggest hooking up, or trying to get her alone some place, she gets "full" on the attention, and then leaves you to go talk to some other guy. Each time you are about to stop waiting for her to grow up, you start to talk to other girls at the same party, and she returns to repeat the same behavior with you, over and over again, only to try and keep you hooked again. She is not your friend, and she does not value you as a man, only as a toy for her ego. She got her cookie. You got no sex. Just the way she likes it. You sucker.

How to Turn the Emotional Cookie Around Being the emotional cookie man means that

1-You have failed whatever emotional needs were most important to her 2-She does not feel you are worth fucking at all 3-She thinks you are so low value, that she does not want to be responsible for allowing you to procreate with other women Once a man is categorized as an emotional cookie man, that pretty much means that he is a low

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value male to her. Once you are categorized as being the emotional cookie man, there is only ONE way out of. It is a 3 step process: 1-Stop the cycle. Stop giving her attention that she does not FULLY earn. Get away from her. Stop seeing her. 2-Become a man and do whatever change work needs to happen for you to learn to address her emotional needs. 3-Once you complete your development, you may let her re-enter your life, address her emotional needs, and in that one small window of opportunity where she has to re-categorize you in her brain, you have a shot of being re-categorized as her lover, and not her emotional cookie man. That's it. Whose Fault Is That? Ok, one last point. Whose fault is it, if a woman takes advantage of the low value male, making him an emotional cookie man? Well, if you have following my teachings from the beginnings of this book, you should be able to guess that answer. YOU. It is YOUR fault. Why? Because you are the MAN. If you become an emotional cookie man, you are the one to blame for her taking advantage of you. Why? Because for all the ideals of a woman taking responsibility for her own actions under the law, it being Y O U R fault is how w o m e n actually FEEL it is. She blames Y O U for letting her take a d v a n t a g e of y o u . Deal with it. Accepting fault in this is the first step to stopping it from happening to you in the future. It is up to you to stop it from happening in the first place. ALWAYS up to you. YOU.

Chapter 6 Why Women Fuck and Date VIOLENT JERKS

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Abusive and Violent Men W h e n I u s e the word "Jerk" in this c h a p t e r , I u s e this term to d e s c r i b e a man that: Will u s e a c t s of violence (including physical a s s a u l t s and rape), and a b u s e , with women to get what he w a n t s . T h e s e violent men h a v e a hold on w o m e n that I rarely u n d e r s t a n d . W h e n I went in s e a r c h of what works to m a k e a w o m a n feel a t t r a c t e d to a man, I d i s c o v e r e d for myself my emotional n e e d s c a t e g o r i e s b a s e d partly on my r e s e a r c h and my mother v s . lover theory. In o r d e r to find u n d e r s t a n d i n g as to why w o m e n find jerks attractive, I applied my emotional needs c a t e g o r i e s to this p h e n o m e n a , and have c o m e up with at least s o m e plausible theories. If I am right about this, then I do believe it will be possible to train nice guys to be able to address a w o m a n ' s e m o t i o n a l n e e d s s u c h that t h e s e w o m e n will h a v e o t h e r o p t i o n s of men to be a t t r a c t e d t o . W o m e n can then be attracted to good men who address her e m o t i o n a l n e e d s without t h e s e w o m e n s u c c u m b i n g to violent attacks. This next section may c a u s e s o m e c o n t r o v e r s y but I do not c a r e . If what I am writing is correct, that means it will save the lives of women out there in abusive and violent relationships. Maybe it will even give women an understanding as to why they are a t t r a c t e d to j e r k s that might kill t h e m , instead of the nice guys that would take care of them and their kids. If I can teach men to address the emotional n e e d s of w o m e n , then men will be able to do it without the v i o l e n c e . And if e v e n just o n e w o m a n ' s life is s a v e d b e c a u s e s h e w a s able to fall madly in love with a man that I taught to address her emotional needs, and i n s p i r e s her to l e a v e h e r a b u s i v e jerk p a r t n e r , t h e n I have indeed m a d e a difference in the world.

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I sincerely hope that many GOOD HONORABLE MEN will read this whole book, and learn how to address her emotional needs, so that women will have a nonviolent option in the men that pursue them, so that women can have fulfilling relationships and be attracted to good guys, and not those violent pieces of shit. For the record, I do believe there is a category of women that are simply damaged goods, and damaged so far gone emotionally, that they can only RESPOND to this type of jerk behavior. For those women, I do not know if they can be helped by my works herein through the men that can learn my teachings. I can only hope for her sake that she get help regardless. I sincerely hope t h a t w h a t I am a b o u t to w r i t e will s a v e the life of a woman that reads this part of the book, and maybe she will see herself in this chapter. This does not mean that women "want" to be abused, it means, that some women "respond" to it, like a drug addict "responds" to the drug. No person wishes to become an addict. There is a difference between: What women actually LIKE And....

What women RESPOND to. Women do not actually *like* being abused, raped, beatup, etc... But jerks do get women to *RESPOND* to them. Biologically speaking, she will feel attracted to the male that will best insure that her kids will also procreate and pass along her genetic material. A male that exhibits those traits is what we call Alpha. Those same signals can be found coming from jerks My theory is jerks INDIRECTLY address a woman's emotional needs. These guys INDIRECTLY

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satisfy her emotional needs... that is why his violence is "filtered" through that category of her brain that makes jerks' actions forgivable, and she goes back to him again and again. How the Jerk Addresses A Woman's Emotional Needs I am going to go through each emotional need, and how I think a jerk indirectly addresses her emotional needs, that seems to make a woman fall in love with them.

1-The protection of her most valuable asset: Her Reputation

One would think that the jerk hurts a woman's reputation. These jerks constantly embarrass their women in public shamelessly. So on the surface, it seems the jerk does not address this need. However, let's consider a slightly different perspective. Regardless if the jerk hurts her reputation in the short-term; in the long term a woman's reputation is actually socially shielded by being with the jerk. As far as her reputation goes, the only bad thing she did was to fall for the wrong guy. The rest of her reputation is saved, because he is the jerk. It is all on him. No matter what he says about her, people will think he is a jerk, and she is pitiable. If she herself does not want to finish school, hold down a job, abandon her family, she can do all those things, and the jerk is who will get blamed. Her reputation is protected by default, indirectly, by being with a jerk, because she does not need to take responsibility for making a bad choice. It is not her fault for anything. People will automatically believe her and side with her, and forgive her transgressions because they know she is with a jerk.

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2-Women want to FEEEEL a range of emotions. Do not try to make her happy, give her a full range from fury to ecstasy. This is a.k.a. her Drama Cookie

The jerk keeps a woman off balance, and in a state of heightened emotional flux. If there was any emotional need that a jerk addresses directly, this one is it. Every emotion from passionate love, to raging fear, to forgiveness and connection, to utter frustration. There is no end to the range and variety of emotions, both positive and negative that a woman experiences being with a jerk. Women love the adventurer and traveler because of the emotional range of those lifestyles. However, just being with a jerk is a taboo adventure and an act of major risk-taking. It provides her with the same emotional range as being a human roller coaster in a traveling circus. Add to this the emotional range that women get from all the people around her. Not only are the people around her giving her attention, and emotions like love, caring, sympathy, concern, and pity; she also gets to have her emotional states in having to deal with everyone around her desiring her to leave him, and the jerk threatening her to stay with him. A woman can get drunk on the emotional range of dealing with a jerk, because unlike being with a nice guy that works hard to keep her happy, she gets to be with a jerk that works her emotions to keep her unbalanced so he can better control her.

3-Caterto the little girl in her. Part of the jerks game is to render her into such an infantile state where she comes to believe that she is incapable of surviving without the jerk, much like an infant child can not survive without its parents. The jerk does not just reassure the child within by allowing her to

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bring it out. Instead the jerk brings it out of her so much by badgering the adult in her, so all that is left and in control of her is the infantile personality. This is called Regression. When the present becomes too intense for the adult persona, the adult r e g r e s s e s to an e a r l y s t a g e of d e v e l o p m e n t . A younger age of self. Emotionally speaking, she may feel like the jerk is addressing this emotional need, when in fact, the jerk is subverting the adult persona in her, and replacing it with the infant persona which the jerk finds easier to control, manipulate and threaten into submission.

4-Be dominant and take responsibility for leading the relationship. This includes making all the decisions, and taking 100% responsibility for the sex in the relationship. It all has to be the man's "fault"

Women are not attracted to the men they can control. So a nice guy that is taught to always follow the rules, even her own rules to let the women lead, will turn her off. She wants a man to take the lead. Out of insecurity, a jerk will not let ANYONE take the lead except for himself. The jerk refuses any authority, even the authorities that would keep her safe (such as the law regarding spousal abuse). Because of this, jerks give the illusion of control, and women are relieved of the responsibility to stay in control because the jerk takes all the responsibility away from her. A jerk also takes away her freedom, as an act of relieving her of responsibility. This includes her right to decide what to do, where to go, who to talk to, and not being able to say "no" to sex. So the sex, and everything else is all "his fault". Everything, all her decisions, are made for her by the jerk without consulting her. The jerk is not leading her, the jerk is bullying her, but emotionally she feels this need addressed, because she is mistaking the jerks insecurity for dominance.

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A friend of mine once said that women love jerks because women's instinct to mother him (to change him) challenges her as such a major project. What greater challenge can there be, than to reform a man, that acts like the jerk that hates women, and would just as soon kill her. For if she could change him, that would be the ultimate victory for her mothering instincts. Good point.

5-She fears abandonment

Whenever a woman leaves the jerk, the jerk usually chases after her. Sometimes, the jerk forces her to return with v i o l e n c e , and s o m e t i m e s the j e r k cries like a little baby showing sincere vulnerability claiming the jerk will die without her. Both of these address her fear of abandonment. The jerk makes her feel over-desired and needed. As scary as it is for her to leave, there is a part of her that is emotionally driven to stay with the jerk. Unlike a nice guy that may be afraid to pursue the woman he likes, the jerk does not care what people think of him, while the jerk pursues her. Nothing else matters excepting getting her (as the jerks' property) back. When a jerk names the woman as "his property", that sense of ownership of a person, which intellectually may be repulsive, does in part address her emotional need of fear of abandonment. Jerks do not abandon possessions and properties.

6-Trust him to be Honest Since the key here is if she can trust you to be honest with her; even if you know she will not like what you have to say, a jerk readily and indirectly addresses this emotional need.

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A woman believes that if you are willing to piss her off with your honesty, you have demonstrated that she can trust you. A jerk regularly says things to hurt women, and put her down. Since most women are used to nice guys kissing her ass and lying to her, when she meets a guy that tells her things that may upset her, she thinks he is one of the few people that is being honest with her. Now lets take this a step further... A jerk that is already established as telling her things that upset her (meaning she feels he is honest with her), puts her down and tries to make her feel worthless. If she has any doubts in herself at all, the jerk exploits them under this emotional need. She starts to believe him, partly based on his track record of honesty in other things that make her unhappy, and partly because she is already thinking to herself that she is less deserving of being treated like a human being.

7-Her physical safety. A man must demonstrate that he is capable of protecting her physically from the threats of the outside world. This is to make her feel safe.

The irony is that Jerks use this when they beat up women. Remember, it is a man's his willingness to fight and get hurt that c o n t r i b u t e s to her i n t e r p r e t i n g t h a t he would be able to protect her. Unbelievably this also includes his willingness to fight and beat her.

If he is willing to do it to her (someone he s u p p o s e d l y loves) and risk it all, then she will SUBCONSCIOUSLY feel that he would be willing to do it as well to anyone who would threaten the both of them.

Even though Intellectually, and Consciously she knows he might kill her, her emotions are betraying her, and it is her emotions that she follows.

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8-Women need to know you can handle her TRUE sexuality. Jerks do not have a high opinion of women. In fact, they just assume the worst in women. This means that they just assume every woman out there is a slut, and accept it. Although, not every woman acts like a slut, for those that do see themselves that way, being with a jerk may be the only option they see, since he already indirectly accepts her sexuality, whatever it may be, unlike a nice guy that may have conditions as to what he can handle about a woman's sexuality.

9-Prove that you have high quality sperm For all the reasons mentioned herein, women know that other women find Jerks attractive. Also, one of the things jerks do is to cheat on women A LOT and actually throw it into the faces of the women they have sex with. Because jerks address all the other emotional needs of women, women tolerate this infidelity and interpret it as a sign that he is desired and thus has high quality sperm, and will pass on those traits to their children.

10-Prove that you are not a homosexual. Jerks are abusive and rape is something the jerk does. A jerk that rapes women, is less likely to be a homosexual than a nice guy that is afraid to hurt women with sexual touching. Intellectually, the jerk who forces sex onto a woman should be avoided. But emotionally speaking, and in conjunction with the other emotional needs the jerk indirectly addresses; women tolerate and rationalize this dangerous behavior as meeting an emotional need.

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What About if she has Low Self-esteem? But don't only low self-esteem women end up with jerks? Nope. They all act low self-esteem with a guy that can address her emotional needs. Why? They are naturally programmed to feel submissive when presented with a stronger frame than they themselves carry. When a woman meets a man that can satisfy her emotional needs, she automatically feels unworthy. I do not know why. But even the most alpha female desires to have her hair pulled and her ass spanked in the heat of a sexual engagement, and be dominated by the right man she trusts. The Lois Lane Syndrome Let's look at a pop culture example of this phenomena. I really hate doing this, but this example is so classic and well done, and it is such an easily recognizable reference that almost everyone knows what I am talking about. We are going to use in this example, the Richard Donner Superman movie where Christopher Reeve plays the parts of both the high quality sperm persona Superman and beta male supplicant of Clark Kent, and Margot Kidder plays the high selfesteem and tough lady reporter Lois Lane. Lois Lane is presented as a very high self-esteem woman with confidence, courage, and is a risk taker, willing to do whatever it takes to get what she wants. She is also presented as the type of woman that knows she is pretty enough to attract the attention of men, and comes across as a woman that is so used to getting her own way because of the power she has with men, as she has no trouble keeping Clark Kent (who acts as if he is taken by her) fumbling around her.

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Clark Kent is presented as a typical guy, that when he gets around a girl that he finds attractive, acts like a little boy in need of mommy's tolerance. Great for comedy, but not for seduction. Superman is the male of value, as everything he says and does addresses Lois' emotional needs. In the movie, Lois Lane makes a date with both men, on the same night. When Superman comes over first, she is weak in the knees, makes sexual gestures, practically throws herself at him. If it wasn't for the fact that she had already been presented as such a high self-esteem power woman, that scene in the movie would have pegged her as a low self-esteem girl. After Superman leaves her that same night, and Clark shows up to take Lois out, although she is still mesmerized by her attraction to Superman, once realizing that Clark is starting to wonder where her mind is at, she somewhat drops that state enough, and continues to treat Clark with the same disrespect that a beta male like him is used to. However, if Clark had any real s e d u c t i v e skill and was willing to take a strong lead, feeling how she was feeling right then, even Clark Kent could have scored with her that night, if he knew how to capitalize on her emotional state. (Now that you have read this, does it makes sense to you how some guy may have been able to fuck your last girlfriend, when although she did love you, you were not around to fuck her when she was horny?) Here is a fun exercise for you to do after you finish reading this book. Watch that Superman movie. But this time, watch it with the eve of seducer. From the time that Clark Kent meets Lois Lane up until the scene that Lois publishes her story of her date with Superman. See if you can identify which emotional needs Superman address through his interactions with Lois, and also c h e c k out all of the w a y s Lois t e s t s Clark, and C l a r k fails practically every single test she t h r o w s at him.

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Authors Note: The Eve of Seducer is a term I devised to describe the mind set of men that are very skilled with women. It is the way to look at the world. It means looking at WHY certain people do, and do not get sex. When going to a wedding, The Eye of Seducer is not seeing what is taking place as part of a love story, but as part of a seduction. When seeing young couples on the street, when seeing married couples celebrating a 20 year anniversary, or when watching people break up and divorce... The Eye of Seducer is interested in understanding the analysis of the emotional needs in the relationship.

After you do this, you will realize that in real life, Lois would NEVER have agreed to go out with Clark that night. As it was, Clark was only a back up date in the event that Superman did not show up and flaked on her. The only reason that she did end up going with Clark at all, is that Superman/Clark were both the same guy, and knew what was actually going on, and set her up, so that Superman would drop her at just the right time and Clark gets to pick up the pieces, and tries to nail her while she is in the right state. BUT because Clark so failed in addressing almost all of her emotional needs, Clark did not stand a chance of banging her.

Is it Ever OK to be NICE? If all this stuff with the jerk is true, then is it ever OK for a guy to be nice? Of course. Yes, sometimes it is OK to be nice. But before I start getting hate mail, read this next part. First, lets look at what "Nice" really means, and what it has come to mean. They are different as my friend Silvio pointed out to me. There is: 1-Being Nice 2-Being Desperate 1- Doing something Nice means you do something, without the expectation of any reciprocation of sex.

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Holding the door open for some elderly person, not because you want something from the old lady, but because it is the right thing to do. It means doing the right thing, because it is polite, a sign of a good upbringing, and it is the right thing to do. This includes not making fun of people, not acting violent, and not acting like an asshole when it is not called for. Only a truly strong man, both internally and externally, can afford to be polite in this manner. 2- Being DESPERATE means you do something, with the full HOPEFUL expectation (without any prescribed guarantees) of the reciprocation of sex. Buying her stuff, showering her with too much attention, and giving her your personal time when she has not really earned it, hoping for sex. This usually includes guys that act like they are really being selfless, when in fact they actually have a hopeful expectation of sex. This makes guys appear to be liars to women. The real definition of DESPERATE, which was given to me by a good friend is when a guys is doing something, that he would not do otherwise, in the direct hope of an expectation of something in return. In the case of the ideology of this book: Sex. Therefore, When a woman says she is not into you because you are too nice, what she is really saying is that you are in fact DESPERATE. Desperation is not attractive. Ever. So to summarize, there is a difference between being Nice (which is actually OK to do), and being TOO Nice (which means acting DESPERATE).

One last idea Being nice is OK, as long that you, as a man, can still be COMMANDING. Being commanding means

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you do something, with the full expectation (and provided guarantee when possible), of reciprocation. Going in to do your job for a paycheck is being commanding. Standing up for yourself when it is called for despite the short-term consequences, for the long-term respect is commanding. Usually this takes place after a negotiation of some sort, or an on-the-spot action based on the way you demand to be treated. This also includes entering certain types of relationships, even marriage. Being nice does not mean being a chump. I do think it is possible for a seducer to be nice, without having to be desperate or violent, as long as he can be commanding and stand up for himself.

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A Final Ultimate Secret But is E V E R Y T H I N G a w o m a n says a test? I mean really? Really? No. Of course not. There are exceptions to every rule. Absolutes are not always absolutes. Generalizations, are still just generalizations. Not every man is a pig. Not every woman is a slut. Not every person cheats. Not everything out of her mouth is test.

One of the last criticisms I got about my philosophy is that it frames relationships and passing tests as competitive. Does a relationship need to be a competition? At the time, I had nothing to say in response to this. I have since thought about it, and I have come up with a response. The answer is.... No. Not every relationship is a competition. HOWEVER...

If believing what I believe has helped me accomplish everything I accomplished, without ever having to resort to violence with women, and has actually helped me find peace and connection with women, then I still think this is an honorable theory. I am proud of me and stand by it.

Author's Note: To read all about my accomplishments check out my autobiography entitled From Loser to Seducer

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A Sample the of Results when you pass the tests

How great would you feel if you got reactions like this: Hi Sweetie, (that means Frank B Kermit) Well, I can't sleep, it's lam. Your voice fills me with so much energy. When I'm lying in bed I can't stop thinking about you. I think about you throughout the day as well, but at night my whole attention is on you, when there's nothing else distracting me. While thinking about you I thought I should write to you how I felt when we met. I feel safe and not the dominant partner. I was immediately comfortable with you. Which is why I didn't hold back and lay my head on you. (When we took the bus to your place). As soon as you started rubbing my back I felt a warm sensation everywhere in my body. After i sat down and you started messaging my head I started to get very wet, and I was wet from thereon for the rest of the night. I love that you take the lead and I enjoy giving in to you and calling you my master. It's actually very freeing (is that even a word?). I let you take responsibility and I don't know where it's going to take me, but I know it will always be somewhere safe. It's more than just a sexual connection I feel, but I don't how to explain it just yet. I look forward to exploring all my fantasies with you, and hopefully fulfilling your needs in the process. 1 can't wait to read your response to this. Thinking of you, - Girlfriend #X When I open my email account, and I get an email like this... it makes the years of pain, loss, torment, and even loneliness FINALLY worth it. If I did not have that kind of pain to move away from, I never would be able to appreciate all the good feelings of pleasures that I can feel now.

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Books from Frank B Kermit From Loser to Seducer: The Story of Frank B Kermit Everything Out of Her Mouth is a Test: A Man's Guide to Satisfying the Emotional Needs of Women I'm A Man, That's My Job: The Philosophy of a Seducer-In-training Calibration Storytelling: How to Tell Stories to Women to Present Yourself In the Best Possible Light The Adult Male Virgin Handbook: Make Your First Time, Her Best Time. How to Decorate your Bachelor Pad into a Seductive Lair Peacocking, Fashion Tips and Symbology: The Making of a Unique Masculine Image

One-on-One and Group Seminars offered by Frank B Kermit How to Address the Emotional Needs of Women The Adult Male Virgins Seminar: Make your first time, her best time. Because paying for it does not count Calibration Storytelling: How to Tell Stories to Women, Presenting your life in the most seductive ways possible How to Decorate your Bachelor Pad into a Seductive Lair Peacocking, Fashion Tips and Symbology: The Making of a Unique Masculine Image

For reviews of t h e s e b o o k s , and reviews of t h e s e m i n a r s associated with this books, visit: www.franktalks.com