STARCHY’S ENCYCLOPAEDIA OF KINO v3
I consider these notes to be a one-stop shop for advice on Kino. I have tried to arrange the chapters in such a way that the most powerful and best info is presented in the beginning. Regards Starchy Pg 2
TABLE OF CONTENTS Pickup101 – Kino a Lecture by Lance Mason
16
The Truth About Touching
16
3 Keys To Initiating (Opening) Kino First key to Initiating Kino : Has to be Early Second key to Initiating Kino : Has to be done Easily Third key to Initiating Kino : Has to be done to Everyone
16 17 17 17
The Playful Touch Light Touch Poke High Five Move in Close & Face Away Hockey Check Pinkie Love Fist Knock Handshake Opening With Kino Opening Guys With Kino Use Kino with Banter
18 18 18 18 18 19 19 19 19 19 20 20
Increasing Intimacy (Kino Escalation) Has to be Discreet Has to be Dynamic Has to be Congruent Kino / Interact with a woman as if you’re Already Dating Using a woman’s Hand for Feedback If you Go Too Far … Public Displays of Affection (being discrete)
21 21 22 23 23 24 24 25
Putting It All Together Touching your Target versus Touching the Rest of the Group 30sec Isolation tactic Extravagant Kino techniques Does she Know you’re Hitting on Her? Thumb Wrestling When to Escalate Kino / Never Run Too Much Attraction Touching in Different Environments Reciprocating Kino
26 26 27 27 28 28 29 29 30
VinDiCarlo.com - DiCarlo Escalation Ladder
30
Initial Section of the Ladder 1. Eye Contact and Initial Conversation 2. Incidental Class 1 Incidental Class 1 Examples: 3. Overt Class 1 Overt Class 1 Examples: 4. Incidental Class 2 Incidental Class 2 Examples: 5. Overt Class 2 Overt Class 2 Examples: 6. Incidental Class 3 Incidental Class 3 Examples: 7. Overt Class 3 Overt Class 3 Examples:
30 30 30 31 31 31 31 31 31 31 32 32 32 32
Escalation Ramp
32
Pg 3
A Rule on Using the Ladder Doing the Ladder in a Role-play Situation 8. Kissing 9. Kissing Her Neck 10. Touching the Bare Skin of Her Back 11. Stomach to Stomach 12. Kissing her Body 13. Incidentally Stimulate Vagina 14. Direct Vaginal Stimulation from Behind (Inside Panties) 15. Direct Vaginal Stimulation in Front 16. Remove Her Pants, Sex
33 33 33 33 34 34 34 34 34 34 35
Manhandling Example 1 Example 2 Example 3
35 35 35 35
Additional Points 1. Higher Levels Unlock Access to Lower Levels 2. Execution of the Escalation Ramp 3. Incidental Vs. Overt Kino 4. Group Ladder Theory 5. DiCarlo Escalation Ladder as a Standalone Method
36 36 36 36 36 37
VinDiCarlo.com – Vin’s Blog
37
The Definitive Sexual Tension Controlled Sexual Arousal State Can you see where this is going? How to have a controlled arousal state Creating Tension Considerations
37 37 38 38 38 39
The Red Light Report Let's start with What Does This Technique Do? So WHY Should You Use THIS Technique, In The First Place?
39 40 41
CharismaArts.Com
41
Weblog Dan – Rewarding Dimitri - Physical Escalation, Boston Style Kory - Touching upon approach TimmyD - Calibration and Kino
41 41 41 42 43
Wiki.CharismaArts.com “Method overview” Touching Casual Touching Purposeful Touching Belly Kino
44 44 44 44 44
www.TheCharismaticMan.com Belly Kino Explained
45 45
Podcast 10 – From the original Charisma Arts website
46
Charisma-DR.Blogspot.com
46
Touching BEFORE I make my sexual intent known Initial Touch Casual Touch
46 47 47
Wayne "Juggler" Elise Interviews dR about first dates
48
Pg 4
SeductionTuition.com Wayne Elise - Seduction Tuition Interview (Part 2) Physical escalation, leading to make outs in the club? Dimitri — My Juggler Method
48 48 48 49
Part I Chapter 4 3) Escalate
49 49
Part I Chapter 5 More about Escalation
50 50
Sexrevolutionblog.com
50
The Importance of Touch
50
Secret Principles of Pleasure – IN10SE - Part II Skillset : Foreplay And Sexual Techniques Windows to the Soul… Touch is everything…
53 53 53
Sex Revolution Handbook – Daniel Rose
55
Act Three: The Revolution Archives The Role of Physical Stimulation Specificity of Physical Stimulation
55 55 55
SexGodMethod.com blog Forget the Handshake…go for the HUG Sexual Mastery Seminars – Neo (& David Wygant)
56 56 57
Seminar 1 – 3/19 – Opening & Kino 29m:14s Touching her (Kino) 30m:21s Be touching her a lot 31m:40s Foreplay thorough the day 34m:11s Female masturbation 35m:30s Practise touch 36m:15s Women respond like a “Dimmer switch” 37m:00s System for gauging her comfort level via touch 37m:45s Touch her for 1,2,5 then 10 seconds
57 57 57 57 57 58 58 58 58
Seminar 2 – 3/26 – Kino to Kissing 17m:15s Touching guidelines : Leading her via touch 19m:30s Thirteen escalation steps : From first touch to the kiss 20m:00s (1) Touch her for 1 second 20m:23s Calibration 23m:01s (2) Touch her for 2 seconds 24m:44s (3) Touch her for 3 seconds 26m:13s (4) Touch her for 5 seconds 27m:12s Practise touch 28m:20s Use more than just your hands to touch her 29m:55s Grow your male primal energy 32m:40s (5) Touch her for 10 seconds 33m:51s (6) Leave your hand on her 35m:34s (7) Move your hand to her shoulders and massage her 36m:05s Massage her shoulders 40m:27s (8) Massage her neck 42m:15s Go back to her shoulders 42m:25s (9) Move down and massage her hand 44m:25s (10) Hold her hand 45m:15s Review
58 58 58 59 59 59 59 60 60 60 60 60 60 61 61 61 62 62 62 62
Pg 5
46m:14s Pull her closer to you 46m:30s The principle of Fractionation 46m:34s Massage her shoulders again 47m:50s (11) Caress her head and hair 48m:50s (12) Caress her face and ears 49m:35s (13) Kiss her 50m:20s Review 69m:45s Distinctions of touch 70m:50s Use different parts of your body 73m:15s Various types of stroke 79m:30s LISTENER QUESTION : Being creepy & calibration 93m:00s Review Seminar 4 – 4/09 – Clitoral & Vaginal stimulation 06m:05s LISTENER QUESTION : Your Energy & Intention behind your Kino The Complete Lover - Neo Stage II – Connection. Phase II – Deepening Connection pg148 Deepening Connection Through Touch Finer Points in the Art of Touch 1 Touch Her as a Gift You Enjoy Giving 2 Stroke Her as You would a Cat 3 Touch Her as if You have All the Time in the World 4 Touch Her as much as You Can 5 Practice Makes Perfect 6 Use Your Touch to Bring Her Back to Her Feminine 7 Find Out Her Sensitive Spots 8 Be Creative in How You Touch Her 9 Romance Her with Your Touch 10 Touch Her as if You are Already Lovers 11 Touch Her as if She Means the World to You System for Progressive Opening through Touch Level 1 Touch Her for 1 Second Level 2 Touch Her for 2 Seconds Level 3 Touch Her for 3 Seconds Level 4 Touch Her for 5 seconds Level 5 Touch Her for 10 Seconds Level 6 Leave Your Hand on Her Level 7 Massage Her Shoulders Level 8 Massage Her Neck Level 9 Massage Her Hands Level 10 Holding Her Hands Level 11 Caressing Her Head and Hair Level 12 Caressing Her Ears and Face Level 13 The Kiss Action Steps for Deepening Connection PickupPodcast.Com
63 63 63 63 63 63 63 64 64 64 64 65 66 66 66 66 66 67 67 67 68 68 68 69 69 69 70 70 70 71 71 71 71 72 72 72 72 73 73 73 74 74 74 75 76
Sensuality and Finger Play MidastheMadHatter wrote :
76 77
Ep. #2 Toolbox (PODCAST)
77
Ep. #20 Vin DiCarlo Interview Kino Breakdown (PODCAST) Eye Contact Some Basics about Kino Sexual Tension How the Ladder Works Class 1 - Hands and Arms
77 78 78 78 79 79
Pg 6
Class 2 - Torso and Legs Class 3 – Face and Neck Mystery Method Interview series 1-19 Vol. 11 Physical Escalation & Kissing (Sinn & The Don) (PODCAST) Track 1 Track 2 Track 3 Track 4 Track 5 Track 9 Track 10 Roosh Valizadeh - BANG
79 79 80 80 80 80 81 82 83 83 84 85
Chapter 2 EARLY GAME When She’s Interested Dancing Escalating To The Kiss
85 85 85 86
Chapter 3 MIDDLE GAME The First Date Changing Gears
87 87 87
Love Systems Routines Manual v1.1 Physical Escalation Routines Pushing High Five/Knock Fists Hug/Push Hand Slap City Handshakes Thumb Wrestle Variations: TV Test Spin Move The Spin Move, Adapted to Steal Her Spot Spin Test Trust Test Tension Test Arm to Hand Moving Piggy Back Tap Cheek for Kiss Love Systems Routines Manual V2 Chapter 2 : The Love Systems Triad THE PHYSICAL PROGRESSION MODEL 1. Social Touch 2. Friendly Touch 3. Romantic Touch 4. Sexual Touch Masterlife.Podbean.Com – Troy KinoDVDmpg.mp4 Leave your hand in their hand, after you’ve SOI’d them. Squeeze both hands Interlocking Fingers hand to hand hold Drift Away
88 88 88 88 88 88 88 89 89 89 89 89 90 90 90 91 91 91 91 91 91 93 94 94 95 95 95 95 95 95 95
Pg 7
The hand is a very good Indicator of Interest (IOI) Release the Sexual Tension Sexual tension is Go-Stop-Go Another example of Go-Stop-Go with dancing
95 95 95 95
webcast - Improve Your Game.wmv Dance Kino Kino on Dates
96 96 96
NathanX - Sexual Mastery For Men Vol.1
97
CD 7 Track 2 - Arousal Process and Touch Escalation Track 3 - Her Signs of Sexual Interest Track 4 - Quick Examples of Touching & Comfort
97 97 99 101
DVD 2 Body Language & Touch Escalation 00m:10s Bad Body Language 00m:57s Good Body Language 01m:08s Bad Touch Escalation 01m:44s Good Touch Escalation 02m:02 Bad Touch Escalation 02m:44s Bad Touch Escalation 04m:25s Bad Touch Escalation
101 101 101 102 102 102 102 102
DVD 3 Touch Escalation 00m:27s Smooth Touch Escalation 03m:31s Smooth Touch Escalation 04m:57s Smooth Touch Escalation
102 102 103 103
DVD 6 Showing Dominance & Masculinity Social dominance 00m:32s - 02m:30s
103 103 104
Forum.Charismaarts.com
104
GENERAL : Kino and being creepy USER : Slicky Boom Boom USER : social butterfly USER : Kat USER : Adras USER : Nonstopdrivel USER : Kat USER : zacxpacx USER : Nonstopdrivel USER : Wayne Elise USER : Osmosis USER : Poise USER : Wayne Elise USER : Wandering Sumo USER : Pickstuffup USER : Peppermint Gomez USER : Miq
104 104 105 105 105 106 106 106 106 106 107 107 107 108 108 108 108
GENERAL : How-to on Kino? USER : primetime9 USER : Stephen USER : dR USER : primetime9 USER : Bryan
108 108 109 110 110 111
GENERAL : Belly Kino explanation?
111
Pg 8
USER : Fawkes USER : Nonstopdrivel
111 111
GENERAL : Kino. USER : Sickbay USER : Rob USER : doublepoppa USER : Sickbay USER : Rob USER : doublepoppa USER : xrt3 USER : funkytown USER : mixer28 USER : degrassi USER : Kat USER : CJMoney USER : cbd USER : Kat
112 112 112 112 113 113 113 113 113 114 114 114 114 115 115
GENERAL : Day 2 or 3 ideas USER : Greg
115 115
GENERAL : Kino as reward USER : timbit USER : primetime9
115 115 115
GENERAL : Escalation USER : Lyrix USER : Greg
115 115 116
GENERAL : Kino on a date USER : Taras USER : Buggie USER : Nathan P USER : dirkmanley USER : robert j USER : GK
116 116 117 117 117 117 118
GENERAL : Got a number got a time for a date, what now? USER : ShyFratGuy USER : Greg
118 118 118
GENERAL : Kino 101? USER : Peppermint Gomez USER : The Dandy USER : CabbagePatch USER : CabbagePatch USER : Peppermint Gomez USER : dirkmanley USER : CabbagePatch USER : The Dandy USER : CabbagePatch
119 119 120 120 121 121 121 121 121 122
FIELD REPORTS : What kind of art do you do? (based on a true story) USER : hot karl USER : hot karl
122 122 123
FIELD REPORTS : Use your powers for Good! USER : MarathonMan
123 123
FIELD REPORTS : FR: Over-Kino? USER : Doc Holliday USER : Vabs
124 124 127
Pg 9
USER : dR USER : russian_torpedo USER : Rob The Unofficial Charisma Arts & Juggler Method Forum
127 128 128 129
GENERAL Q&A : Getting sexual.. how? USER : Jarnik USER : Itotem
129 129 129
PUA ARTICLES & LINKS : Understanding Sexual Kino USER : billmack USER : billmack
130 130 130
TP - Forums
131
TECHNIQUES : The value of kino -- scientifically proven USER : jaxxon
131 131
TECHNIQUES : Techniques for Kino USER : playza USER : MyWay USER : zgoditak7 USER : joeypete
132 132 132 132 132
TECHNIQUES : Easy kino USER : b0ob
133 133
CHAT : Failure to Escalate Kino USER : Elimination USER : Zephurus USER : Elimination USER : playza USER : TheDon USER : Darklo USER : Elimination USER : Shibby86 USER : Connaissance USER : MyWay USER : zgoditak7 USER : zgoditak7 USER : b0ob USER : SegaRob USER : Elimination USER : greese USER : Elimination USER : Lawyer USER : BaseX USER : joeypete USER : Elimination USER : MyWay
134 134 134 134 134 135 135 135 135 135 136 136 136 137 137 137 137 137 138 138 138 139 139
CHAT : THe BIg Thread ON Kino USER : assman200 USER : zgoditak7 USER : Vantage USER : Brax USER : assman200 USER : zgoditak7 USER : AyeJay USER : HighJ85 USER : ezmech
139 139 139 140 140 140 141 141 141 141
Pg 10
USER : sputnik USER : Brax USER : sunrise
141 141 141
CHAT : Advanced Kino tips USER : Norn
142 142
OUTER GAME : touching the girls hands, games,, palm reading CHAT : Hi2u CHAT : rogerphilip CHAT : pooah CHAT : foxycleop CHAT : Partezan CHAT : robert8804 CHAT : foxycleop CHAT : TheAffair
142 142 142 143 143 143 143 143 143
FastSeduction.com/Discussion
144
ADVANCED FORUM : The Kino Post (advanced) USER : Cinder USER : ijjjji USER : sonics
144 144 146 148
ADVANCED FORUM : Kino USER : Maj
148 148
ADVANCED FORUM : Dancefloor kino experts only! USER : ijjjji USER : TheCostOfSuccess USER : szizzel USER : Klutch USER : slime USER : TheCostOfSuccess USER : Humblepie USER : sonics USER : carpe diem USER : zingdoozer USER : Alex-ice USER : Sweettalker USER : froggy
148 148 149 150 150 151 151 153 153 153 154 156 156 157
TACTICS / TECHNIQUES FORUM : some kino tips USER : Nowhere
157 157
TACTICS / TECHNIQUES FORUM : Surefire kino USER : Kineti[C]harm USER : ninjaplayer
158 158 159
GENERAL FORUM : F-Close in Minutes: Secret Kino Spot Helps Capitalize on Club Game USER : Klutch USER : CosmicCowBoy USER : Klutch USER : QuickAndClever USER : Klutch USER : Ijjjji USER : ModernSavage USER : YazzleMan
159 159 161 161 162 162 162 162 162
eBook - 60 Years of Challenge Ch. 0 – New Lessons LR: Say Something
163 163 163
Pg 11
“Girls asses are like breasts you can secretly play with at the bar” – 60
164
Ch. 4 Escalation Mindsets The Man Behind The Eyes You Are Not Special Seductive Eye Contact Get Closer Touching The Bad News It’s not You Testing Orgy Get Close to Screen Resistance?
165 165 165 165 165 165 166 166 166 166 167 167
Ch. 5 Seduction Tactics Milk The Intro The Clock is Ticking Think About It Next Level It’s On No Speaking Before Isolation Using Kino: The It's On Moment I don’t worry about a kiss close The IOM Creating the IOM Troubleshooting What is Escalation? Time Wasters An IOM can happen in seconds Conclusion
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CH. 6 Escalation SP's Resistance Isn’t Real Not Interested or Shy Opening Tests Isolating & Leading Eye Contact & Kino Pulling Girls Home The Right Way to Be Persistent Never Try to Convince Don’t Let Her Off The Hook No Big Deal Mental Masturbation Kino Kino Goal #1 Kino Goal #2
170 170 170 170 170 170 171 171 171 171 171 172 172 172 173
Ch. 8 The Sexual Threat Sexual Kino After It’s On Sexual Kino
173 173 173 173
Complete System - Fearless Relentless Escalation - 60 Years of Challenge Chapter 5: Seduction Tactics Don’t Pull Away First Talk with the Hand Never Pull Away First Tension. It’s On. Testing Interest
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Pg 12
No Introduction, No Rapport Seductive Listening Eye Contact Close: The Sparkle Seductive Listening Conclusion The It’s On Moment How to use Kino The IOM Un-official Attraction Creating the IOM Troubleshooting What is Escalation? Time Wasters An IOM can happen in seconds IOM Conclusion The Book of Pook On Kino BabyGirl Compilation(lss.com/forum)
174 175 175 175 176 176 176 176 176 176 177 177 177 177 178 178 181
General.doc Kino “Taking the lead...”( pg 44) Physical Leading: A few tips: Touching in the club: Kino “My phone game...” (pg 78) Kino “My phone game... “ (pg 80) Kino “A hugely important piece of the puzzle...” (pg 98)
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BG – FR,LR.doc Kino Escalation “Furniture Shopping and Oral Sex...” (pg 21)
183 183
Attraction Formula – Paul Janka IV. Sexual Logistics: Making It Happen Touchy, Feely GunWitch Method - Fast Seduction Players Guide 3.13 Kinesthetics (aka kino) IJJJJI.Blogspot.com Seducing girls - a complete guide Ideas on touching and making love: The Joseph W. South Show
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The Art of Touching and Escalating (Kino Part II) Ep.29 (PODCAST)
187
Use Kino as a Screening Tool Ep.28 (PODCAST)
189
Natural Game 3rd ed. – Gambler Elicit Hook – Connect - Deeper Question Kino-Escalation Excuses to touch Sexual Escalation Techniques Playful Escalation and Sexual Escalation Kino-Escalation Process The Zen of Meeting Women – Max Weiss
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Pg 13
Turn it up to eleven! The Magic Touch - "Kino" pg74 Kino Outline: NewYorkTimes.com Evidence That Little Touches Do Mean So Much The Approach Workshop Notes Kino There are 4 types of kino The Morris Escalation Ladder Sexual Rapport Modeling Nonverbal Sexual Cuing – Keanu J. Jagger The Power of Touch pg50 Why Touch Works How To Touch A Woman Playful Touching That First Touch The Double-Clasp Handshake Points to Remember SeduceHer Kissing Secrets – Michael Ferris CH.4 No More Rejection … Ever!!! How to Get Her Comfortable Getting Close to You Prerequisite #3: Is She Comfortable With Your Touch? How to Get Her Comfortable with Your Touch Anthony Berger – Seduction Illustrated
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Chapter 5 : Seduction Seduction Whisper Boob touch Leg Touch The problem with your hand
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Sexual Magnetism - Etienne Charland
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Chapter 3: Sexual Magnetism Applied Progression and Kino Tricks Here are some kino tricks to inspire you StevePUA – Tao of Stevie
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Tonguedown Bar
206
Kiss Closing
206
Tyler Durden – Essentials Cavemanning, Kino, Body Language CAVEMANNING & KINO: 1) CAVEMAN AS A DECLOGGER 2) KINO AS A REWARD: 3) KINO PINGING: 4) PLAYFUL KINO: 5) FAT OBSTACLES: 6) LATE GAME ESCALATION: Thoughts on KINO:
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Pg 14
GETTING HER TO INITIATE KINO: Kino Tests TRUST TEST: Maniac High's Pick Up Girls Guide and Seduction Website!
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How to do a dance floor pickup without talking
213
Jonnyjewel talks about his dancefloor pickup strategy!
215
Dicknotist.blogspot.com lr-oompa-pa-fupa (2007-10) Miscellaneous Notes
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Miscellaneous Notes on Kino 4 types of Kino The Power of Light Kino Finger Kino Foot Kino
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Best of Craigslist - When women get together and talk about sex
218
SeductiveCody.blogspot.com Kino Game: Are you nervous
218 218
Badboy email newsletters Resistance before kiss KINO. (Physical touch) Real Sex For Real Women - Laura Berman PhD Sexploration Arousal and orgasm Touch A few facts about touch Source of contention Non-erotic touch Hellos and goodbyes Wrestle for it Sweet nights Light it up Try out different things Relearning erotic touch New sensations Hug love Touchy-feely foreplay
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Pg 15
PICKUP101 – KINO A LECTURE BY LANCE MASON “Pickup 101 - KINO.avi” from TP (1hour 27min long)
The Truth About Touching Touching woman (right away) is my greatest asset in making woman comfortable and attracting woman. I’m not talking about the touching that is about seduction or getting physical or sensual. I’m going to talk about almost the opposite of that, touching in a real playful way, friendly way, kind of like you touch your buddies. It’s a really powerful tool. As an example of that, just last Wednesday I was out with my buddies to meet woman, focusing on just talking to the hottest woman I could find. This girl came up to me, very excited like she knew, seemed like a nice girl, But I knew she wasn’t really the kind of girl I wanted to spend the night with. So already I was kinda stepping back from her mentally, but she came up to me, “Lance, Lance, how you doing” and touched me twice. Then she came up and grabbed my arms and said, “oh it’s so good to see you.” It was amazing to observe how my own reactions to this woman just completely shifted! I was sucked into her world. She’s touching me in a real personal way and I’m being drawn into her experience. I’m flattered and I feel like I have a real connection to her. There’s this girl right across the room that’s more attractive but she’s not real to me. This is a very important point. We’re human beings, physical organic beings, if we don’t touch things they’re not real. Like going to see a memorial monument. If you look at it that is one experience but if you touch it, it’s a whole different experience it’s very real to you. It becomes connected to your emotions, to your body. So that’s how I was in this space with this woman, who wasn’t the one I really wanted to talk to, but I have this real connection with her as opposed to these other things, that are now out of my mind because of this experience. Then the conversation goes on and on, I’m talking to her friends, there’s actually a girl in the group I’m kinda interested in who I’m bantering with, we’re having a lot of fun. Now in the middle of this whole interaction, talking to her friends who are really cool, she comes over and puts her arm around me. So now what happens in my mind or rather my body? All the good experiences occurring in this interaction, even though they’re triggered by other people, her cool friends, she’s getting credit for that. It’s all transferring to her. I have this physical connection to her. She’s real in my world just because of this light friendly playful touching (even though she’s not grabbing me like I’m her boyfriend). This is amazingly powerful. These are techniques I use all the time. It’s really ironic because people think when you go up to people and touch them in this playful way, that you’re going to make them uncomfortable. How many people think you can’t go up to a girl and poke her before you talk to her? But this girl did it, I’d actually talked to this girl a few weeks before but I didn’t remember her at all. Yet it worked. This playful touching works for me and a lot of other guys because of 3 guidelines. I call this playful touching, Kino because it triggers her kinaesthetic mind. I’m not really trying to touch her, I’m just trying to awaken this part of her mind that’s kinaesthetic, because that’s the part of her mind that’s connected to her body, that’s connected to the deepest kind of experience that she can have.
3 Keys To Initiating (Opening) Kino [5m40s] The assumption is that it’s going to make people less comfortable, but actually it’ll make people even more comfortable and there are 3 keys to that. 1. You have to do it EARLY in the interaction. Very important. Pg 16
2. You have to do it EASILY. Has to be natural, like the way you touch your buddies, your platonic friends. 3. You have to do it to EVERYONE you’re interacting with in the group. Not literally everyone of course, but you can’t just keep focusing on one woman. In fact if it’s a mixed set, you can’t keep focusing on the woman. Just kind of poke the guy in the shoulder (back of your hand), put your arm on his shoulder or whatever. You can do that to guys it’s totally fine. I open mixed sets like that quite a bit.
First key to Initiating Kino : Has to be Early [6m50s] This is really, really important. Because when you come into a strangers space, the first thing they’re trying to do, on a completely subconscious level, is figure out who you are. This isn’t articulated in their minds. So they’re thinking what do you want? As soon as they figure out what you want, which hopefully from your vibe they’ve realised you just want to talk to them, they’re then trying to figure out what kind of person are you? Are you outgoing, are you shy, are you boring, are you calm, are you nervous? Now the process of figuring who a person is takes a few seconds only. By 10 seconds, they’ve got you pegged. Once you’ve been acting a certain way for 10 seconds, any change will be noted. The first thing they’re going to think about, is what changed? So the last thing you want to do is go in and talk to somebody, “hey how’s it going … did you see the game … ”, be talking to them for 10 seconds, then “oh you saw the game cool man” and then reach over and touch them on their arm. They’ll be thinking, woah woah, what happened? Whereas if I walk up and touch them on their upper arm simultaneously say, “hey man, did you see the game?” This way is not weird at all, because it’s who I am. “Oh she saw it as well, cool”, with a big smile and raised eyes, at the same time as stepping sideways closer to her and touching her on the arm as well. I’m doing it to everyone. It’s just who I am, part of my personality. Now I have to keep touching people because they’re going to think what happened. You want to have techniques to make sure you do this early, which we’ll talk about later. If you don’t, you’ll wait till the 10 or 15 second mark and you’ll do it and creep people out.
Second key to Initiating Kino : Has to be done Easily [9m30s] This is kind of funny because when guys are hanging out with their friends, they have no problem randomly touching people. But when told to do it in context of a set, they’ll get a little awkward. One thing guys will do is tend to touch people a little too quick i.e. snatch the arm out and back too quickly. The frame you want to take is, this is the way you touch your buddies or your platonic girlfriends. You have to keep that frame and there are 2 ways to get around that. One way is to practice on your male/female friends. The other way is to just do it in set after set. If you have techniques for touching people, you have to repeat them over and over again, eventually they’ll become very comfortable.
Third key to Initiating Kino : Has to be done to Everyone [10m38s] This is obvious. You don’t want to be this creepy guy who’s touching this one girl as often as he can. You want to be the guy who’s just a touchy feely guy. All this stuff we’re talking about is the first impression kino, the initial kino, almost opener kino. What you’re really trying to do is just awaken the kinaesthetic part of that person. So it’s really tied to the opener in my mind. Pg 17
The Playful Touch [11m15s] There are some real simple things you can do real early on.
Light Touch [11m53s] Walk up to her so that you’re hip to hip (side by side) and as you do your (sincere compliment) opener just reach out and touch her the back of her hand/arm with the back of your fingers, very lightly. So you’re touching her right away, it’s natural you’re just trying to get her attention. DO NOT go up, say your opener and THEN touch her. So make it really, really light. DON’T ever push the girl, that’s just weird. You can pretend to push them i.e. (you are the one to actually move away though, as you push her), but don’t actually push her. So that’s a real simple thing.
Poke [12m52s] Usually you just want to poke girls in the arm, I actually sometimes kind of poke girls in the belly but you have to be careful.
High Five [13m03s] Walk up to her so you’re side by side, say your opener. If her reply is worthy of reward, then say “cool” and as you hold up your hand in a high five, look away to face her friends engaging them, as she’s returning the high five. DO NOT position yourself face to face with her as she returns the high five, it’s weird. So you’re initiating kino but moving away. You can do this with any kind of kino. So if you’re side by side with her and it feels kind of close, just lightly touch her hand/arm with the back of your hand as you turn away from her, to engage her friends “she’s such a brat” as you hold the kino. If you didn’t “move away” she’d feel uncomfortable with it. Looking away makes her feel comfortable You can leave your hand in the high five as long as you want (provided you move away). Holding the hand in the high five position sucks the other person in. DON’T hold your hand up in such a way that she returns the high five with her farthest arm so that she crosses her arm in front of her. Hold your hand up, well to her side nearest you, not in front of her, so that she naturally replies with her closest arm to you.
Move in Close & Face Away [15m39s] So as I do the high five and I say “cool” or “that’s awesome” I’m looking away to make her feel comfortable. So whenever I do something where I’m kind of moving a little more into her space, I’ll kind of move out away. For example, move in and put your arm around her waist, but turn away from her and point at something else, “hey look at that over there.” You can get away with a lot, whereas compare that to just moving in and putting your around her waist and staying there, that’s way too much. So whenever I’m trying to move in closer, I’m moving away a little bit. Another example, if I’m trying to get her to initiate some kino, i.e. get her to high five, I’ll step away at the same time, saying “awesome, hey what about you guys?” as I turn to face her friends.
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Hockey Check [16m35s] Another thing I like to do a lot is the hockey check. I just kind of slide in really close to her (hip to hip), leaning in slightly and really gently nudge her side with my shoulder & side, “you’re such a brat.” DO NOT lean in from far away to nudge her. So first thing, you must place your foot next to hers (hip to hip), then slide in with the other foot. Again using the principle of Move in Close then Face Away, you physically move in but use your words to create a departure away from her. DO NOT give her a compliment like “wow I really like you” and move in and stay there, because your body and words are moving closer to her, which is more likely to make her uncomfortable. However if you say, “she’s such a brat, how do you roll with her?” is going to make people a little more comfortable. Or you can move in, nudge her and say, “I like this one … is she potty trained?” She’ll think, woah he’s getting really close, oh I get it, he was just setting me up.
Pinkie Love [18m20s] Are a lot of other cute things you can do, if you’ve been busting on her too much like the potty trained example above. You can say with a slightly bashful facial expression looking down slightly, say “I’m sorry” and hold up your pinkie finger (small finger) to her so that she engages the pinkie swear and shakes your pinkie with yours. This always works, you need to know this. You can even say, “come on, give me pinkie love.” No girl will not give you pinkie love.
Fist Knock [18m40s] Or you can go “cool girl, you rock” as you give her the rock, you make a fist and palm down you push your knuckles against hers. This is like a masculine thing, male bonding, she’s one of the boys. These are all things you can do right away. Then as you’re talking, the whole rest of the conversation, she’s having a good time and laughing, remember we’ve awakened this kinaesthetic part of her. So she’s not just laughing and you’re the entertainer. She’s laughing and she has this real physical connection with me.
Handshake [19m15s] There’s something else too, really obvious, just introduce yourself and shake somebody’s hand. You can have a lot of fun with that. By the way I always introduce myself if I feel I’ve over-gamed at all, if I feel I’ve played with somebody too much or made a little too much fun of someone. To kind of sit them back a little, I’ll introduce myself, “hey I’m Lance.” However you want to show that it’s a little more than a professional handshake. So if a girl shakes my hand, I’ll say “cool”, relax my hand and just trail my fingers across her palm as I finish the handshake and pull my hand back. You’re just appreciating her femininity, you’re giving a firm touch in the beginning then you’re giving her a lighter touch.
Opening With Kino [21m45s] One thing too I wanted to convey is how you can use kino in an actual opener. Let’s say we have the following scenario where there’s a wall of people. A worst case scenario where there’s a bar and you have a couple of girls standing very close to each other at the bar, facing the bar with their backs to you. Now you want to open that set. Pg 19
If you just go up behind them and say “hey guys,” they’re not going to hear you in a loud bar. Some people will do the same thing but just say it very loudly from behind them. Very awkward. It’s much more elegant to just touch them the way you touch your buddies. Imagine these people were your buddies at the bar, what would you do? You’d just go up to them, use your hands to gently pull them apart, (touching them on their shoulders) and face you saying “hey guys, hey guys check this out. Hey can you take a sincere compliment?” There is a recurring theme, whenever you’re moving someone to do it gently. You’re not actually moving them with physical force, what you’re doing is giving them a clear instruction that I want them to move, as you would with your friends. So you’re just setting your two fingers on their shoulders and just kind of informing them. I’ll see who move more. Whoever is moving more, I’ll stop moving the other person, immediately back up (step back a little) and addressing the one who move the most, say “hey can you take a sincere compliment? Cool I like this one. (Move in and put your arm around her waist, then stepping back again to facing the other person and giving them a light touch on the arm with the back of your hand). Is she potty trained?” So you’re just using kino to open the set, without it that’s almost an impossible set to open, because you definitely don’t want to be yelling to them. Again I’m kinoing everyone. In fact if it’s a guy, I’m like “hey man this girl is trouble” as I step in sideways closer to him and touch him on the shoulder with hand. It’s fine to touch guys like that.
Opening Guys With Kino [23m34s] One more opener. This is pretty much what I always do if it’s a guy-girl set. So there you have this couple talking, you don’t know if they’re married or dating. What I’ll do is open them with kino and open the guy first. I’ll walk up and putting my hand gently on the guy’s shoulder to turn him slightly, say “hey man, this girl is trouble,” then usually I’ll poke the girl in the stomach a little bit. If you try and do this opener without kino it won’t work, because there’s an important element that’s missing. If you go up and touch him, she’ll assume you know him. Then he turns to look at me and I poke her saying, :this girl’s trouble” he assumes I know her. This works every time. Who would go up and put his hand on a stranger and go “hey man” then turn to girl, poke her and say “this girl’s trouble.” It’s not inappropriate. They’re going to assume you know the other person. It also works if there’s one guy and a couple of girls. The girls will assume you know the guy, they’re not going to ask. What happens if people do ask who you are when you use this opener. They usually figure it out, before I leave the set that I didn’t know anyone. So usually what happens I’ll open the guy, then get the girl’s attention and get the girl all excited. Once the girl’s all excited I’ll actually step in between the guy and girl and just kind of confront the girl in this real playful way. When I do that and really start flirting with her, the guy usually figures out what’s going on, I wouldn’t be flirting with her if I knew her. It actually works to your advantage if they figure out you don’t know anybody in the set because it’s a really cool surprising thing to do. You can actually just admit it, “oh no I don’t know her. I just do this all the time,” with a naughty look on your face. It’s funny, they will laugh. It does happen where they’ll be a married couple or engaged and they won’t be fooled, but they don’t get mad. You just ask them where they’re from or where they met and then you leave. This is a lot of fun.
Use Kino with Banter [27m11s] Again these are things that don’t work without some simple playful touching. A lot of the harsh playful banter doesn’t really work without kino. I uses this line earlier, where I said “oh I like this one” and stepped in putting Pg 20
my arm around her girl, saying “is she potty trained?” That’s a fairly harsh joke to say, but you can get away with it because I’m touching her. There are a lot of things that you will never get away with without touching and vice versa. I would never stand across from a woman and say “I like her, is she potty trained?” That’s just mean. However if you put your arm around your waist, you’re saying I accept you, you’re cool, I like you and then you’re saying “is she potty trained?” Basically you’re communicating I like you so much that I can make fun of you that badly, we have this rapport, this understanding that this is all just in good fun. So don’t try these lines without touching people and poking them, because you’ll just come across as a jerk. Remember what you guys probably did in high school? You’re sitting with your good buddies around the lunch table just insulting each other, with stuff you’d never say to anyone else. You’d dig into each other which was your way of bonding and establishing how strong your friendship was. So if you’re touching people in the group and throwing out these kind of comments and jokes, they’re going to think, “oh I get it, he’s pulling us in to his circle, we’re part of his team, his world. Ok that’s funny, it’s endearing.” However if you don’t create that kind of closeness before you use this type of material, you will come off as a jerk. This is very important. Saying cocky funny things from a ‘distance’ won’t work, because people don’t see you as a close friend, whereas just this little slight touching can do that.
Increasing Intimacy (Kino Escalation) [30m04s] I’m going to talk about Kino Escalation. We’re not talking about seduction at all. We’re talking about stuff you’re going to do in a bar, a social setting, in front of her friends. Things you can do pretty much right away. However it is Escalation. At this point in the game, it’s really clear to the woman or should be clear to her that there’s some kind of a sexual chemistry going on. You’re moving from just a playful relationship to this kind of communication that say’s I’m attracted to you. You can’t say I’m attracted to you with your words but you can say I’m attracted to you with your body. So I have 3 rules to this Escalating kino. 1. It has to be DISCRETE. 2. It has to be DYNAMIC. 3. It has to be CONGRUENT. Everything you do in terms of your approaching the kino, has to be congruent with the way you touch woman you’re already dating.
Has to be Discreet [31m50s] A woman doesn’t want everyone in the bar to know that she likes the guy, she’d rather that it just be an understanding between her and the guy. She prefers it to be discrete. Using the high five as an example. If she keeps her hand up there, that’s an IOI, which is a little nervous now because everyone in the group can see that and are thinking, oh she likes that guy. So what you should do is step in to her side and take her hand down together with yours behind her back, while you turn to engage the group. You can play with her fingers behind her back etc but it’ll be discrete. Don’t ever put her attraction for you on display. For example by saying to her, “hey let’s play a game” and play some game involving kino with her, in front of the whole group. If you do a hockey check, “this girl is such a brat”, as you step in you’ll have her hand in yours now, so again take it behind her back. It’s very subtle, especially if you’re in a tight circle with the other people, they won’t notice what’s going on. This sub-communicates a couple things to her. When you’re doing kino escalation, you’re giving her clues as to what the whole relationship is going to be like. This is the first time she’s getting a hint there might be a Pg 21
relationship. For example, if you do a high five but let go of her hand and turn to the other people, she has no idea there is any kind of attraction. However if you keep her hand and step in, putting it behind yours, she is getting her first clue that you might be attracted to her. It’s also your first clue that she might feel the same way because she left her hand there. So this conveys to her that whatever happens between us from now on, you’re not going to make her embarrassed for her attraction to you. A lot of guys do contrived kino like palm reading, rather do that in a quiet corner alone than in front of a group of people as a public display. She’ll either lose her attraction for you or even worse she’ll regret her attraction for you or become embarrassed for it.
Has to be Dynamic [35m32s] We can use the same idea of holding hands to demonstrate the concept of dynamic kino escalation. If you do the hockey check say and grab her hand then just stand there, it’s going to feel a little weird. So you want to be dynamic with her, you want to look at it as if the kino were a conversation, which in actual fact it is. If you grab her hand and she wraps her hand around yours, that means it’s okay. So then you also wrap your hand around hers and maybe give it a little squeeze. If she was comfortable and attracted to you she’d squeeze back. If she squeezes back then you should move down to her fingers i.e. palm to palm, but your fingers are no liner inter-locking, just the tips of your fingers are touching each others. This is very sensual. This really is a whole conversation. You can then play with her fingers and if she starts playing with your fingers back, that’s as far as it will go. It’s really sensual so you’ll stop, let go her hand and maybe step away to engage someone else in the group. It’s dynamic, it’s a conversation. Just like a verbal conversation you want to get closer to her, closer to her then move away and leave her guessing, oh what happened. You’re showing her that you’re interested. Also that you have self-control and that you don’t need to take advantage of her attraction right now, you can be patient. Another example. Let’s say you grab her hand and she doesn’t squeeze. This means she feels a little comfortable with what I’m doing. So make light of it, by swinging your hand and hers back to and fro (playfully almost kidlike), then let go and turn to engage someone else in the group. Like, hey I’m going to grab your hand to see if you’re attracted to me, oh you’re not attracted to me, that’s cool we’ll just be friends as you swing her hand and let go, “hey guys”. You can go back and try it later because it’s not awkward. DO NOT let her slink away if she doesn’t squeeze your hand, that’s bad. Just make it fun, if she’s not ready to be attracted just be playful. You can also just leave her hand there, without swinging it. You can go back but it has to be dynamic, keep it moving. Returning to the high five example, if you’ve got her hand behind her back and things are going well, you can grab her by the waist and see if you can get her to come close, then push her away a little. Remember you’re not actually moving her body away, you’re putting your hand on her hip and “pushing” away but your body is the one to move away. Psychologically you’re pushing her away but never physically. Again you’re creating that conversation, that dynamic flow that keeps the conversation interesting. During kino escalation, you’re projecting how the rest of the relationship is going to be. If you do the high five and she holds onto your hand, she’s thinking, oh great I’m attracted to him, he knows it and its boring already and it’s been two seconds. So what are you saying to her as you stand there passively holding her hand? Oh you’re attracted to me, I like you, okay let’s be boring together, we’ll get a house and get a dog. So want to be sure to keep it dynamic. Pg 22
Has to be Congruent [39m39s] This is really important and subtle, the idea of touching a woman as if you’re already dating. Observe couples who are dating, especially really cool guys with attractive woman, how they touch each other when they’re dating. They don’t do this big buildup when they touch each other. They will just kind of move and grab people around the waist. They’re really playful. They’re always doing these small little lead ins and trailing off, which feel really natural. So if you want to grab a girl by the hand you know really well, you’ll slide your hand in to hers, not just take the hand. You always want to be sliding in to a touch and pulling away from a touch. Same thing applies if you put your arm around her, slide your arm across her back to her opposite shoulder and if you take it off you’ll slide it down. You don’t ever plop your arm down on someone’s back who you’re comfortable with, just feels weird. You should pay attention to the way you touch woman you’re dating. You can’t practice this in bars and doesn’t necessarily have to be a woman you’re dating, can just be a platonic woman friend. Pay attention to the way you put your arm around her, the way you poke her, how you grab her hand. Think about how you can spot a couple who’ve been together a long time versus a couple who’re on their first date together. With a couple who don’t know each other that well, if the guy puts his arm on her shoulder, he’ll kind of plop it down on her and do it leaning in from a slight distance. What’s worse is she doesn’t feel that close to him. If you touch a woman like you’ve known her a long time she’s going to feel like she has known you a long time, she’s going to feel really comfortable. Again remember you’re projecting how the rest of the relationship is going to be like. If you’re touching her like you’ve never touched any woman before, which is how a lot of guys do it on a first date, you’re communicating that you don’t know how to touch a woman at all. Don’t be a plopper (plop your arm down), slide in, be smooth, project that you know how to touch a woman.
Kino / Interact with a woman as if you’re Already Dating [43m18s] We’re taking this frame of a woman you’re already dating. How do you do this? It’s pretty simple, you lead but expect her to participate. So you create lots of different types of psychological contact and activity, but you don’t create all the physical contacts. For example, if you’re with a girl and want to draw her in. So you’re side by side, you pull her in 2 inches only and then stop. That is a clear instruction, “hey babe come here, move into me.” You’re not actually pulling her in to you because that’s not gentlemanly. We’re the psychological leaders, we create the direction of the activity but we want to make sure she’s a willing participant. So you just pull her in with a relaxed hand and then see if she wants to move in closer on her own. Same if you wanted to put your arm around her, you’ll slide your hand around without actually pulling her in, there’s still this kind of space and she can move in if she wants. You might lean in to her but not actually pull her in. This distinction is really important. If you trying to create different types of contact, you have to think of it as an instruction or even better as an offer. Another example, if you do the kino check. You’ll step in to her side and put your hand in hers. If she doesn’t wrap around your hand, you’ll just swing it and move away, letting go of her hand. However if she wraps her hand around, an IOI, I’ll reward her and squeeze back. It’s give and take. She shows she’s interested in me, I’ll show her I’m interested back. Again it’s like a conversation, but very powerful because it’s discrete, it’s between you and her.
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Using a woman’s Hand for Feedback [46m35s] It can get very hot, very sensual, just playing with a girl’s fingers. You can get a very good idea about how she’s feeling about you. A technique I’ve been teaching is if you’re in a bar and having good interactions with lots of woman. As you leave the bar and see a woman you’ve just talked to, you just reach your hand out to her as you walk by. If she sticks her hand out, you’ll know by the way she holds your hand, how much she likes you. Very powerful. First of all, she has to decide if she wants to reach out or not. Once your hands touch you’re no longer dealing with the part of her mind that makes decisions, it’s more her body. It’s very interesting, you can even do this with a married woman. If you’re talking to her in front of her husband and squeeze her hand, if she’s attracted to you, she’ll squeeze back, because it’s not a conscious thought. This is one of my big tips about kino, the hand is really a pure way of finding out how a woman really feels about you in a physical way. One of my students was at a party and was leaving. He saw a girl he’d been talking to, so he reached out for hand as he was leaving and he just knew from the way she took it that she was very interested. So he stayed and they ended up together that evening. Another example, let’s say you’re sitting down or standing and there’s a lot of touching going on. Maybe you don’t know she feels about you. She’s got her arm around you and you have around her as well. Do you know how comfortable she is with this? You really don’t, because there is all this social pressure that if she doesn’t put her arm around you, she’ll embarrass you. It’s quite amazing, especially if say you’re sitting down with a woman, you might touch her knee, touch her thigh a little bit, touch her shoulder etc, but she might be really uncomfortable. It’s very hard to tell. So what you can do, if there is a lot of touching going on, a lot of stuff going on and it seems okay, she hasn’t said no. So she’s not so uncomfortable but some woman don’t like to say no. So everyone once in a while, you should check in with her hand. At least every 4 times you touch her somewhere else. You’ll know instantly how she feels about all the other touching. If you’ve been running your palm down the side of her arm and she’s uncomfortable, she won’t squeeze your hand when you grip it. That’s her telling you, we need to back off with the touching a little bit. Then you’ll step back away from her and talk about a more innocent topic of conversation. This is so important, if you start doing this test, you’ll find you’ve been making woman feel uncomfortable and you had no idea. Those are the kind of sets where you get home and you’re sure she’s not going to flake on you and she does, but you are stunned that she did. It could’ve been that you were touching her in a creepy way and she didn’t like it but didn’t tell you. It’s not her job to tell you when you’ve been creepy. Most girls won’t.
If you Go Too Far … [51m50s] If you go too far and make a mistake, where you make a woman feel uncomfortable, there is a small window of opportunity to address the situation and make sure no harm is done. If you’ve been touching a woman, she’s been feeling uncomfortable and 10 seconds later you check in with her hand and don’t get the squeeze, realistically there has been some damage done. You realise you overstepped your boundaries a little and should just stop it and step back a little. You’ll probably have to spend more time talking to her, making her feel comfortable. What is really great is, if you have her hand in one of your hands and you’re doing some touching with the other hand, you’ve got real-time response from her. It’s really amazing, she’ll be playing with your fingers and if you move your other hand around, right where you go somewhere that she starts feeling uncomfortable, she’ll stop playing with your fingers. Girls just do that. They don’t have to think about it, their body is comfortable with what’s going on, they’re wanting more touching with you, they’re wanting to show Pg 24
you they’re liking it, they’re just expressing it with their hands. It’s very natural, they’re not thinking about it. All of a sudden when they feel like you’ve overstepped the bounds a bit and they feel like they’re shutting down their bodies a little, they’ll automatically stop playing with your hand. Then you should just back off and even stop touching her altogether for a while. Never hold a woman’s hand if she’s not holding you back. If you put arm around a woman and she doesn’t wrap her arm around you, don’t hold that. Never slink away. You should move your hand against her waist and again metaphorically push her away (you step away). It’s not rude to do this, it’s a little bit of push-pull. It’s like you choosing to leave, you’re leaving powerfully, you always want to be in control.
Public Displays of Affection (being discrete) [54m20s] If you’re not in a relationship with a woman, always err on the side of being discrete. Never risk making a girl uncomfortable. You have a pretty wide margin of error for how you can make the girl feel uncomfortable, before she’ll tell you. In fact it’s a staggering margin of error for almost all woman, before they’ll even react to how uncomfortable you’re making them feel. This is even assuming that this woman is attracted to you. She doesn’t want to blow it, she doesn’t want to insult you. The less you push it in a public environment it’s much easier and faster to progress things when you’re alone, if you didn’t embarrass her for being attracted to you. You’re in a bar, you’re holding her hand, she lets you put your arm around her etc. She’s letting you do it because she wants to show you that she’s attracted to you. So the last thing you want to do is make her feel uncomfortable because of that. If you’ve made her uncomfortable for reciprocating your attraction, you’ve anchored this idea that getting physical with you is going to cause discomfort. It’s amazing when you debrief a girl that you’ve been with. If you’ve done things right, you’ll hear the same things over and over again from them, they’ll say, “Well I don’t know I just felt really comfortable with you.” Often that’s as explicit as girls will be able to get. That’s a big part of that, it basically says that unconsciously she gets that when she’s responding to your advances and you do it in a subtle way, you used discretion, she’s going to feel really comfortable. She’s going to feel lot more comfortable holding your hand than she did with the last guy who’s hand she held. The really interesting thing is that she might not be consciously aware of why that is. She’s not going to think, oh that’s so slick, he’s got my hand and its behind my back, my friends can’t even see it. But she will have a subtle memory of how comfortable she felt with you. That is even more powerful. We are doing all these things to make her feel really comfortable that she can’t rationally explain. Society has explained it for her, that someday you’re going to meet this guy and you’ll feel really comfortable with him and he’s the one, he’s special. She’ll have those kind of archetypes to explain why she’s really comfortable. So you want to try to make her feel comfortable in all these subtle ways, that most guys aren’t sophisticated enough to do. You’ll see these guys in bars grabbing both the girls’ hands in front of them and holding them on display, which will make her feel uncomfortable. I’ll say this as simply as I know how. Anytime you’re testing a woman’s attraction in a public way with touching, you’re making her seem a little more promiscuous. You’re also making her publically vulnerable to you. I had a conversation with a PUA teacher in front of his girlfriend and I was explaining to him how I never touch a girl’s hands in a way that everybody can see it, because it makes girls feel uncomfortable. His girlfriend piped up, “yeah he did that to me, he had my hands out in front and I didn’t know what to do because I really liked him but I didn’t know why he was embarrassing me like that.” She’d never told him that because she really liked him, he was running really good attraction game. There is this huge margin of embarrassing things you can do to woman and if they’re attracted to you they’ll let it pass. But it will slow things down, they’re not going to get that comfortable feeling. Pg 25
Whatever you do that involves really public displays of her responding to your touching, either do it in a corner away from everybody or stop doing it. However you have to take this advice with a little bit of salt. If you came into the group and did kino following the 3 rules, early, easily and to everyone, then you can get away with a lot more. If you walk up to the guy and put your hand on his shoulder, the girl is kind a cute and you poke her in the belly. You’re kinda playing with her and she laughs and giggles, then you can put your arm around the girl, it doesn’t seem so weird because to everybody else I look like a touchy feely guy that just makes friends easily and quickly, that brings people into my world, they’re not going to think anything of it. Even if you’ve got her hand behind your back, they’re not going to think anything of it, because they cannot see that conversation going on with your hands. She’s going to know how you feel about her by the playing with each other’s fingers etc but the rest of the group is just going to see you doing what you’ve been doing the whole time, being that touchy feely guy. The more kino you’re doing to everyone the more public stuff you can do with the girl. But you still want to do as much of it as discretely as possible. You want to communicate early on, if you’re attracted to me and go with that, I’m never going to embarrass you, I’ll always be discrete. Keep in mind if you’re in bar with a woman you’re dating, are you groping her, touching her in an inappropriate way? You might playfully, if she says something bratty smack her on the ass. But never in public or at least in a corner. If you were in a normal physical relationship with a girl, why would you be groping her in a bar? You wouldn’t. But at the same time you wouldn’t feel weird touching her leg to emphasise a point. This frame is very important. You should really pay attention when you’re with woman you’re dating, to how you interact with them, because if you’re able to interact with other woman in the same way they’ll get sucked into that idea. They won’t think about it in a conscious manner, oh I’m wearing a skirt and he touched my leg but it didn’t make me feel uncomfortable just really natural. The only thing that she’s going to walk away with is, wow that felt really comfortable, it felt like we’ve been dating a long time, which is the whole point of this stuff.
Putting It All Together Touching your Target versus Touching the Rest of the Group [1h03m23s] There are less differences than you might think when it comes to touching your target vs. the rest of the group. You have to look at communication as having a lot of levels, there’s touching and the things you say. If there are other woman in the group I’ll hold their hand and give them these warm fuzzy feelings but there are some things I wouldn’t do, for example if you’ve got her fingers between your fingers. For me that’s very sensual, bordering on sexual. There’s this idea you can tell by the way a woman kisses how she is in bed. Well I have a sense of that from the way a woman holds my hand, I really believe that. Everything else is okay, I’ll put my arm around the other girls, I’ll pull them in. Woman know, when you start playing with their fingers what that means. You don’t necessarily want the whole group to know who your target is. Sometimes it’s obvious, there might be one girl who much better looking than the other girls, other times not. There are some small differences. I usually kino my target last. I might poke my target in the belly like I’m almost putting her in her place a little bit, there’s this element of patting them on the head, lowering her value a little, like something you might do to your sister. I’d never go up to my target right away and put my arm around her if I can avoid it. You want to get the whole group liking you, her liking you and then show her that you might actually be interested in her on a physical level.
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30sec Isolation tactic [1h06m27s] This is a great isolation tactic. I actually open sets by putting my arms around girls. I do it in a way that makes everybody assume I know the girl I’m putting my arm around. So as you step up to her side I slide in my arm across her shoulders without getting very close. I’m getting close like I would to a friend. I’m just using it as a way to enter the conversation. When she feels your hand slide in, she’s thinking it’s someone she knows. Everybody else is thinking the same thing. However once you slide your arm across her , you simultaneously engage somebody else, “hey guys get this …”At this point she’s figuring out she doesn’t know you but it’s okay because you’re not engaging her in very close kino. The only point of contact with her is actually that part of your wrist just below your ball of your thumb. You’re sliding in on that point only. The rest of your body isn’t touching at all, not even your arm. You’ve also got your other hand pointing out and your chest turned away from her as you engage the rest of the group, so the energy focus isn’t on her and she won’t feel quite as vulnerable. By the time she’s realised she doesn’t know me, she’s realised 2 new things. Firstly that I’m not really encroaching on her psychological space as much as she thinks. I’m pointing outwards and I’m not being creepy with my arm around her because I’m just kind of setting it on her shoulder, without getting in real close. She’s thinking that’s a bit weird but I guess it feels alright. Secondly she’s realising I must know somebody else in the group, especially if I’m touching somebody in front of where my body language is focused. You can keep the conversation going like this, with your arm resting on her and when you want to isolate her you say, “hey check this out” and turn away from her and pointing out your other side (that’s not next to her), you keep on rotating, walking around her as you turn her 180 degrees around into isolation. Another way to enter into this isolation technique is if your buddy is talking in her group. You go up between him and the girl and say, “hey are these girls ganging up on you?” and he’ll say, “yeah man it’s really terrible oh man” and then you do the isolation turn on her as you slide your arm across her shoulders and rotating around her, say “hey check this out” and point out something interesting to her. Then you can run the cube, play the question game, do anything. You can even say to her, “there are some cool things over here” and when you get there, she goes “what?” you go “oh well me.” The more ridiculous it is the better it is. Or you can walk her all the way around, she’ll be all confused and you can say, “isn’t it cool how we were talking to your friends and now it’s just you and me?” She’ll laugh because it’s just playful. What you don’t know, is turn in front of her or make her walk around you. You must walk in a circle all around her.
Extravagant Kino techniques [1h11m13s] There are all these extravagant kino techniques that people teach. Like “you rock girl, high five”, high five her and then spin her around under your arm so that she’s facing away from you and dip her. Even “hi I’m Lance” shake her hand, then grab her other hand so that your arms are crossed, lift her arms up and spin her 360 degrees around, then put her arms behind her head and drop down to the floor in front of her in a booty shaking move. If you can do these exotic kino moves and come away as a friendly guy who’s just out to have fun, this is how you interact with people and is who you are. Then you should do them. If you can do these moves and not give her a creepy feeling that you’re hitting on her, you’re just doing it to be fun, then you should do it. I’ve done these moves to girls I have been attracted to and those I wasn’t. You must follow the same rules however. You have to do it early etc. You can’t talk to someone for five minutes and then go, “hey cool” high five and go all crazy on her. It’s just creepy. However if you do it right away, you can get away with it, Pg 27
especially if you do it easily and you’re touching everybody because you’re a wild crazy guy who does stuff like that. Similarly if you want to do stuff like that in kino escalation kino, then you want to do that in the same way you would with a girlfriend. I used to dance a lot, so if I’m out with my girlfriend or she’s like at my apartment or something, then I’ll just dip her out of nowhere, I’ll drop down to one knee, dropping her all the way to the ground. It’s just a really funny thing which I might do with girlfriends so it’s something I might do at a bar as well, because I know it’s not going to come off as this weird technique.
Does she Know you’re Hitting on Her? [1h13m33s] I’ve been talking about not touching her in a way that she knows you’re hitting on her, that’s the opening kino we’ve covered. The stuff that you do early, easily and to everybody, you are not hitting anyone. Now with kino escalation, I’ll do it on girls that I’m not attracted to, but that I know are flirts. Woman that flirt a lot, they understand, they know when you’re really doing it for real or nor and it’s a compliment to them. It would be great to do the pin move with her and get all freaky. She’d love it, she’d laugh, you’re just doing something nice to her. I know if I’m nice to her she’ll help me get her friend. However even though I’ll do escalation kino just to flirt or pay a compliment, there’s a certain line I won’t cross. Like playing with a woman’s fingers, the back of her neck, her hair or ears etc. At that point it’s very clear you’re interested in her. So the general rule of thumb is with opening kino nobody should have any idea you’re hitting on anyone. By the time you’re doing the kino escalation, the goal is to do the following. You’re kinda saying hey you like me, she’s saying well I might like you, you say well I might like you … etc as you escalate until you’ve built this trust. It’s a pattern, you make yourself vulnerable to her by putting your hand on hers. You do it in a discrete way and if she cups your hand that’s great, she’s giving you a good response. Then you squeeze her hand and if she squeezes back then you can maybe start playing with her fingers. If she starts playing with her fingers, if she starts playing back … At some point she’ll stop maybe and then you’ll also stop, because in kino escalation you’re setting up the way the rest of the relationship will be. The way the relationship with me works is that I’m going to move things forward, step by step till I sense it’s too much for you, then I’m going to back off. I’m going to wait for 30 seconds, 5 minutes, an hour or whatever then I’m going to start over again until you’re comfortable. So you’re basically telling her what a relationship with you is like which is that you psychologically move things forward but you rely on her to keep things moving forward and when you stop, that’s okay I back off for a little bit. The woman will think, oh that’s great because as soon as I’m ready to get physical with him, he’ll move things forward where I want them to go, but as soon as I feel it’s too much he’ll sense that. I won’t need to tell him verbally, he’ll just read the way my body is feeling and he’ll do the right thing. That’s what you want a woman to realise. At the time you do kino escalation, it might not be clear to everyone else, but it’s definitely clear to her that you’re hitting on her. It should be really clear to you how much she likes you.
Thumb Wrestling [1h17m06s] Thumb wrestling is fine. Anything that you feel comfortable with, that’s playful and congruent with you is fine. The great thing about thumb wrestling it’s not this embarrassing thing. Like palm reading etc. You can do it in front of her friends and not embarrass her. Pg 28
I definitely wouldn’t do thumb wrestling at the point of kino escalation because if you’re at the point of kino escalation and start doing goofy friendly type of touching, you’re taking things backwards. If you’re playing with a woman’s fingers down behind your back that last thing you want to do is thumb wrestling. It will dissipate that sexual tension you’ve built up, this kind of secret sexual tension.
When to Escalate Kino / Never Run Too Much Attraction [1h18m09s] If she’s helping you escalate kino she’s attracted to you. If you haven’t attracted a woman in 10 minutes you’re probably not going to. You’re especially not going to by staying in the interaction. You might build attraction by talking to other hot girls in the bar. It definitely should be less than 10 minutes. Really, if she’s been watching you, you’re dressed like a really cool guy, she’s attracted to you for some reason. Then you just walk up to her, run your opener, high five her and she leaves her hand there and you step back (with her hand behind your back now) and you’re talking to her friends, she’s playing with your hand, attraction is done. 5 or 10 seconds that happens to a lot of guys. If you’re a cool guy there are going to be some woman in the bar who are already attracted to you. That’s the great thing about these techniques because you never want to run too much attraction. Too much attraction is any material you’re running when you already have attraction. Why? Because it conveys you didn’t notice her attraction to you. Which means either you’re not paying attention to her or you’re not experienced enough to pick up the clues she’s giving. It is so easy to run too much attraction, there’s so much stuff on the internet. Too many guys run too much attraction material. How do you know if a woman is attracted to you? The best way I know is to see how she responds when she gets your hand in hers. That’s the simplest way I know. There are a lot of other factors, but that’s a really simple rule of thumb. There are these woman that barely talk at all. It’s happened to me and students of mine. Woman that are giving almost no clues and yet they’re attracted. I’ve been stunned actually. I’ll have been talking to a group and do what I do often when I leave a set. I’ll leave and say, “nice talking to you” and just kinda reach my hand out to hers. I don’t like to do a formal shake. I’ll say “nice talking to you” and reach out to her, with my palm on top of the back of her hand and then go to leave but something about the way she’s grabbing my hand tells me “oh don’t go” with her hand. Then I’ll stay. I might say something like “ hey you’re a creative person aren’t you?” (in a slightly deeper and slower voice) and turn back to talk to her. This is really powerful because she’s thinking, oh he got it. There are woman out there who because they’re foreigners, their English isn’t that good or whatever, they don’t know how to express that they’re attracted to you. But they always can do it with their hands. It’s universal. That’s the really great thing about being the kind of guy who just touches people a lot. Since I started doing that I’ll be surprised, I’ll actually figure out that some girls are attracted to me that I would never have guessed.
Touching in Different Environments [1h21m48s] There is a difference in the way I touch in a café, a quiet environment versus a bar or club, which is a loud environment. There is a difference in the way I talk, how loud I talk, the material that I use. You’ve got to calibrate this stuff. Like the spin stuff we talked about earlier. In a café that’d have a really dramatic effect, not that you’d never do it, but you’d have to be aware of how strong a move that is. In a dance club it would be nothing. So yeah there is a huge difference. The best barometer is to pay attention to your own reaction, your body will sense how comfortable people are around you. Generally when you start feeling uncomfortable, other people start feeling uncomfortable, so if you do something kinda crazy (like the spin move) then say “oh that’s a little Pg 29
too much for the daytime.” If you’re doing things in the bars and then you go out to the grocery store, do the same thing and it feels a little weird that’s just learning what is a little too much. The important thing is not to vary the frequency and how long you wait to touch, these are the same in any environment. I guarantee you if I’m running a set over the tomatoes in the grocery store I’ll find some way to just touch the woman in a real light touch. Like “cool you’re buying all my cantaloupes now” whilst touching her lightly with the back of my fingers on her arm. It might be less than in a bar. The reason why clubs are ridiculously loud even those without dance floors, is because it forces everybody to touch everybody in a totally natural way. Like leaning in really close to a woman’s ear to talk to her would be very natural. When you combine that with the little finger touches etc it becomes a very charged interaction. So clubs don’t want you talking they want you touching, which is when people start going home together and spending money at the bar. The thing you don’t vary is no matter where you are, you have to touch early and at a certain frequency so it doesn’t seem creepy when you do. Whether at a bookstore, library or church it’s totally appropriate. In any environment there is an appropriate way to touch people.
Reciprocating Kino [1h25m45s] There are some kinds of kino where she can reciprocate i.e. like the hand squeeze or if you pull her in a little where you give her the instruction and she can come in or not. Then there is kino that she can’t reciprocate, like touching her shoulder/arm, patting her leg. The rule to mixing these 2 types of kino is you don’t want to go too long without doing some kind of kino that requires reciprocation from her. Because that is the only way that you’re going to know that your other type of touching isn’t creeping her out. So if we’re sitting and I’m just touching her thigh a little and I do that 4 or 5 times I could’ve been annoying her all those times. But if in between that I touch her hand and she squeezes back, I know she’s okay with everything I was doing. So you don’t want to be doing this caveman stuff where you’re touching her and it requires no interaction from her. You don’t want to be doing too much of that stuff in a row. You always want to check back and do something that requires participation. You might want to get up and pull her into you (the instruction move). My thing is to just go back to the hands, it’s so simple. It’s going to seem really natural. No woman is going to think it’s weird that you kept touching her hand because you’re just checking in to see how she’s feeling about you. The hands never fails, it works.
VIN DICARLO.COM - DICARLO ESCALATION LADDER Including additional information from the Pickup podcast covered in my previous chapter.
Initial Section of the Ladder 1. Eye Contact and Initial Conversation Eye contact is the first step. It's use shows social awareness and always improves your chances of starting a conversation. Start your conversational game shortly after eye contact.
2. Incidental Class 1 The first class of incidental kino involves the ARMS and HANDS. Shaking hands, tapping people on the shoulder and brushing arms are all very common things that we do on a daily basis. Done in an incidental manner, i.e. occurring merely by chance or without intention or calculation, it is extremely effective at building initial comfort. Pg 30
Incidental Class 1 Examples: Hand shaking Arms brushing against each other Light touching on her arm to emphasize your points (like conversational punctuation) Anchoring her arm near elbow to hold her close as you talk Standing next to her with your arm touching hers High Fives Palm Reading Thumb Wars
3. Overt Class 1 After having done Incidental Class 1 for a minute or two you move onto the Overt Class 1. There is an unmistakable recurring pattern throughout the DEL : Incidental kino, followed by Overt kino. Overt means open to view or knowledge; not concealed or secret. While Incidental kino is usually done in a context which masks your intention, Overt kino is not. The Incidental kino which precedes it creates the familiarity necessary for the Overt kino to be accepted. The key is to make her comfortable with you touching her, so that she’s not pensive or leaning away while you’re doing it or her friends are edging her away. When she’s comfortable after you’re incidentally touching her repeatedly it’s easy to grab her hand and lead her over to meet your friends or say let’s go to this other part of the bar, where you can isolate her. When doing these Overt things, they should last 5-10 seconds, not 5-10 minutes, you should be the first one to break away from whatever kino you’re doing. It gets awkward otherwise. You don’t want to be holding her hand or hugging her and her being the one to break away first. Overt kino is like a checkpoint, you don’t want to hold it there as Overt kino gets very uncomfortable for the girl very quickly. She becomes aware of the Overt kino unless you break away first. It also keeps her wanting more as you start building the tension again on a new level. Overt Class 1 Examples: Holding hands Arm in arm escorting
4. Incidental Class 2 Class 2 kino involves any contact which takes place on her TORSO or LEGS. This is slightly more intimate than Class 1, but does not include erogenous zones such as her breasts, crotch or inner thighs. Those areas are not paid any direct attention until the escalation ramp - to be defined later. Incidental Class 2 Examples: Standing very close with your legs touching hers Sitting close together with your legs touching hers Lightly and incidentally brushing her abdomen with the back of your hand while talking (escalating up from class 1 where you were touching her on the arm with your hand) Briefly touching her back with your palm while speaking, as if you are pulling her in to talk into her ear. Works really well in a louder venue, a perfect pretext.
5. Overt Class 2 Overt Class 2 kino is usually done while sitting down. It's not necessary, but definitely a smart place to make the transition to sitting down. This class of kino should be done in a protective, almost romantic manner. Overt Class 2 Examples: Frontal Hugging (done best as a positive reaction to her something she’s done/compliance) Escorting her through the bar with your hand on her lower back Pg 31
Sitting next to her and placing her leg over yours (an easy one actually, can take the place of holding her by the hand). Sounds uncomfortable and awkward to do but for some reason girls are into it. Some girls will actually do it themselves if they sit down next to you. If you’ve been playful and escorted her over to her seat with your hand on her lower back, she’ll more than likely just plop down and while laughing place her leg over yours. Holding her abdomen on the side while sitting down and talking Placing her hand on your thigh
6. Incidental Class 3 Her FACE, NECK and HAIR are the regions included in class 3. Many guys make the common mistake of touching these areas too soon, with a girl they first met. Girls are surprisingly protective of their hair, face and neck placing these relatively high on the ladder. Another common mistake is that more experienced guys will generally skip this step altogether, only to face last minute resistance later on. Class 3 should really happen when you’re alone with the girl, sitting down nice and relaxed and you have that common sexual state going on. Incidental Class 3 Examples: Brushing (or pretending to brush) something off of her face like an eyelash Talking very closely with your face almost touching hers because the venue is extremely loud Touching an interesting necklace she's wearing, meanwhile allowing the back of your hand to brush against her neck Playfully pinching her cheeks, “ah you’re so cute”
7. Overt Class 3 Once you’ve done Incidental Class 3 and you’re nice and relaxed, taken the energy levels down a notch, you do the Overt Class 3 stuff. Which depends on the context i.e. you’re watching a movie together at your place, you will place her head on your shoulder. The manner in which kino is delivered in overt class 3, is very direct. As this is meant to prepare her and lead her onto the Escalation Ramp, the endpoint (kissing and beyond), it’s key that this is done in a very slow, gentle and romantic way. Most of the time you should be sitting down, relaxed and maintaining a good sexual state and strong eye contact. Most of the biggest mistakes that guys make with this, if the girl is alone with you she is ready to do anything and the only reason she would not, is if you’re not smooth. I.e. you haven’t even touched her yet and you’re sitting a couple feet away from her and lean in to try to kiss her.
Overt Class 3 Examples: Placing her head to rest on your shoulder (like you’re being protective of her) Moving your face into her neck and smelling her Lightly stroking her face with your finger, looking into her eyes Lightly running your fingers through her hair, looking into her eyes Holding her behind the back of her neck with your palm to the side of her neck, looking into her eyes
Escalation Ramp Start the ramp very quickly once you have complete isolation in a sex location. While the above steps from 1-7 may take anywhere from 30 minutes to a couple hours, the escalation ramp is very rapid. The duration of the ramp itself should be from a few minutes to no longer than 20 minutes. You want to do this quickly, possibly this has to with evolution. For example you’re making out with a girl, maybe some clothes came off and maybe you’re touching her breasts, but you didn’t go all the way for some Pg 32
reason. Then you try to get together with her and she’s now very reluctant, making it difficult to get together with you.
A Rule on Using the Ladder Class 3 is as far as you should go unless you’re in a bedroom with a girl ready to have sex with her. When we were cavemen there was no such thing as having to get up early for work or her having to meet her friends at the mall. So if a guy was getting it on with a girl, it almost always led to sex, if you started kissing a girl there was nothing to interrupt it. So we have this built in programming that still remains, which is exactly why if you start kissing this girl you better go all the way or its going to be very difficult to pick it up where you left off. It could also be an emotional thing where the emotions are going and just snowballing but if you stop, she’s thinking like okay I’m standing here with my shirt off, a little bit cold, I shouldn’t be doing this. She’s certainly not going to want to ride that ride anymore if you’ve been doing all 3 classes of kino escalation and then the ride breaks down at the top. Also if you start doing stuff with her and you don’t finish she’ll backward rationalise that there must be a reason why I didn’t sleep with you.
Doing the Ladder in a Role-play Situation This is quite unreal. Did this onetime in a hotel room in another city with a girl and I said “yeah you should come visit me in New York city. We’ll walk through the street, we’ll go to Time Square and I’ll hold your hand like this.” I was describing kino I was supposedly going to do to her in the future, but I’m doing the kino while I’m talking about it. “We’ll walk down Time Square like this arm in arm (or hand in hand) then we’ll go to the top of the Empire State building and you’ll look out over the entire city” in which case I’d stand behind her and kind of lean her against me. “Then I’ll hold you from behind so you don’t fall off (some humour)”. So you describe all this stuff as you’re doing it. Can take this as far as possible even into kissing, “you know what if we’re alone and you’re a good girl I might even kiss you” then you go ahead and kiss her. So the whole thing is done through this role-playing frame almost as if it’s not really happening. Its dynamite if you can have a structured routine like role-playing built into the Ladder. It’s banter and kino together. It’s unnatural not to kino during banter and pickup/attraction. If we didn’t have any weird societal programming we would be kinoing whilst interacting.
8. Kissing Start kissing from a very close proximity. Don't come diving in lips first from three feet away. Ideally you should already be in a suitable position for kissing before you try. If you have overt class 3 kino taken care of, you're probably in the right spot. A technique for building sexual tension - move closely in, slowly as if you might kiss her, and then move away and start talking about something else. This will build the tension and she will wonder when you're going to actually kiss her. A technique to initiate kissing - try placing your finger just underneath her chin and pulling her mouth towards yours. Kissing should be light and short at first. You should be the one to pull away first. Don't use too much tongue at first, just use it to tease her, and build anticipation.
9. Kissing Her Neck Once you have kissed her for a bit, move down to her neck. Kiss it gently, while holding her close to you. Depending on how rough you want to set the mood, feel free to throw in some gentle biting too.
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10. Touching the Bare Skin of Her Back Once you have established kissing both on her mouth and neck, move your hands to her waist and underneath her shirt. Continue to hold her close to you, now with your hands directly on her back.
11. Stomach to Stomach Now that you have established touching her skin, below her shirt, simply move your hand to the front, and lift her shirt, exposing only her stomach. At the same time lift your shirt as well so that your abdomen is in direct contact with hers. It seems innocent, but will meanwhile trigger intense sexual feelings inside of her. The only time she feels contact like that is usually when she's naked and having sex.
12. Kissing her Body Having her shirt pulled up affords the opportunity of moving downwards to kiss and caress the bare flesh of her abdomen. Start kissing her there, along the sides, and move upwards. Touching and kissing the breasts is optional. It is not necessary, and in some cases can be detrimental to your progress. There are some woman who have a negative anchor to their breasts. Inch toward their breasts and feel her reaction. If she becomes increasingly turned on, then go for it. If she starts to close down, skip the breasts until you are already having sex.
13. Incidentally Stimulate Vagina While you are kissing her body, you can position yourself between her legs and use your midsection to rub against her vagina. If you are kissing her mouth you can position your thigh to stimulate her vagina. You can also be kissing her body and reach between her legs and plant your hand on the bed below her. Then use your forearm to stimulate her vagina. The key here is that because you aren't using your hand or fingers, she has no basis for objection.
14. Direct Vaginal Stimulation from Behind (Inside Panties) Once you have really amped her up by incidentally rubbing her vagina, move your hand around to the back and slip it inside her panties and touch her naked ass. Next move your hand all the way down and reach her vagina. Start first by touching the area around it. Then proceed to finger her from behind. Woman never expect to have it happen this way. Trying to reach your hand down the front of her pants will often be resisted, but from the rear is unexpected and effective. If she is wearing a skirt or dress, you will instead move your hand up the back of her leg, and reach her vagina that way. Finger her and then proceed directly to step 16.
15. Direct Vaginal Stimulation in Front Get her heated up by fingering her, and then when once she is sufficiently turned on, undo the front of her pants with your other hand. You can use the Situationally Relevant phrase "My hand is being crushed" as you do it, although it's usually not necessary. Since she is engaged by the fact that you are fingering her, she will rarely object to your simultaneous undoing of her pants. You may also have her undo her pants, by saying "Unbutton your pants." as you are fingering her. Moving to the front, you'll be able to get more penetration with your fingers, and get her to the point where she is practically begging for sex. Use a firm "come-hither" motion pulling forward on the front vaginal wall and stimulating her g-spot. Pg 34
16. Remove Her Pants, Sex The idea is to get her so heated up by fingering her, that she makes a commitment to sex, verbally or physically. There are a few ways to go about this. Firstly, it is very important that you don't stop fingering her before her pants are off. Too many times a guy will stop fingering her, and then try to take off her pants, only to get more resistance. While fingering her you can say "Do you want me inside you?" Which will usually get a "Yes." response. At that point you say "Ok, take off your pants." and continue to finger her until her panties are off, and she's ready to go. Another option is to skip the question and directly tell her to take off her pants. Usually with your fingers busy at work, she will be more than compliant. Another technique is to ask her "Do you want me to get a condom?" In 90% of all girls you ask this, they will say "Yes." Not because they are saying they want sex, but because they want to appear safe and level headed. You will interpret this as the permission to get a condom and have sex with her, and it will most likely be met without opposition.
Manhandling This is something you can start doing on a Day 2 or you’re at your or her apartment. The mindset behind manhandling is I take it when I want it but I don’t always want it. You’re going to be doing types of kino and you’re going to be stopping them, dominating her. These are tools that help the conditioning process along, is conditioning her to automatically accept your kino whatever kino you do. This should be thrown into the Ladder into a random type of fashion depending on the situation. I once had a (small) girl where we were going into a supermarket, I picked her up and put her in the child seat and just walked away. We were in my apartment and I picked her up and threw her onto my bed and walked away. When I finally started to escalate with her, she looked at me and said “you’re going to have sex with me now aren’t you?” She was talking as if she had no choice because I had conditioned her so much that she was just ready to do whatever I wanted to. What you’re doing is stripping away all her societal programming and getting down to that primal behaviour.
Example 1 If you’re crossing the street, you grab her hand and say, “come on we’re crossing a street, you’re going to get hit”, pull her across with you and then when you’re across the street you let go. Again at the next street you do the same.
Example 2 Another technique for doing this is spanking her. Say she’s a wiseass or says something rude, you say, “what was that?” and spank her not too hard and then turn and walk away. Turning your attention away from it, is what makes it work. Is part of the conditioning process too, you’re not caring about the outcome.
Example 3 If you’re in your apartment or hers and there is a couch pick her up, she’ll scream and then toss her on the couch (ensuring that she doesn’t get hurt) and then walk away.
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Additional Points 1. Higher Levels Unlock Access to Lower Levels The rungs of the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder may be treated exactly the same as compliance levels. The point is, any time you reach a higher level through situational relevance, it unlocks the lower levels automatically. So if you happen to accidentally advance a level/class, don’t worry about going back a level. You should never restrict yourself. Capitalising on a window of opportunity is very attractive whilst missing a window of opportunity/failing to see one is very unattractive. A good example of this is in a loud venue and you’re talking to a girl and your cheek is touching hers, you know have that. You’re now up to Incidental Class 3 kino, touching the side of your face to hers, you now have the freedom to do anything else within that. You have the confidence that you’re at that point. You are speaking to her in a way that is dictated by the situation, so it is accepted. If you accomplish this without her resistance, all lower levels will become unlocked.
2. Execution of the Escalation Ramp The escalation ramp, which consists of steps 8-16 is most effectively executed in isolation in a sex location. It is not efficient to start the ramp with the intention of finishing it at a later time. Starting the ramp without finishing it will lead to an increase in flaking and decrease a woman's attraction toward you. This is because these sexual behaviours were formed thousands of years ago when we were still living in caves. The natural instinctual urges, combined with a lack of knowledge of modern-day sexual consequences meant that escalation with a woman would 100% of the time lead to sex. By executing the ladder correctly, you are matching her genetic sexual programming and giving it to her the exact way that she wants it. It is acceptable to do the first part of the ramp - kissing - outside of a suitable sex location, but only if you plan on completing the ramp later in that same meeting. It's not to say that kissing a girl on a non-sex meet will destroy your chances, but it certainly won't improve them. Kiss-closes may look impressive and feed your ego, but aren't technically optimum.
3. Incidental Vs. Overt Kino There is always a question as to how to execute these different pieces of kino. In general, you should spend most of your time in the incidental phase, getting her comfortable with contact in those regions. This pattern of incidental followed by overt is almost a like a Jedi mind trick. Use the incidental kino in a very non-invasive, very much under the radar manner, and her subconscious will automatically accept the subsequent overt kino. Since she accepts the overt kino, it is through a process of backwards rationalization that her attraction for you increases. The key is to make the overt kino extremely short. Each overt phase in the initial ladder should have a duration of 5-10 seconds. You're not going to be holding her hand in the club for 5 minutes at a time while in class 1. Keep it short and sweet.
4. Group Ladder Theory Never just kino your target, it really stands out and all the other girls are going to code to each other, this guy is really not cool and comfortable touching everyone, he’s creeping me out. You want to game every girl in the group. It will give you the most control and credibility. So you have to be comfortable doing this with everyone in the group, so they’re comfortable with you ramping it up with one girl. There is quite a bit of evidence supporting the idea of a "group ladder" concept. Within a tightly knit group of girls who share a "collective emotional state" with each other (almost like they have one brain), it is possible that whatever step on the ladder you achieve with one girl can transfer over very easily to the other girls in the group.
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For example if you’ve done thumb wars with a girl then start holding her hand or something, you can go be at the same point on the ladder with the other girls. The reason this works, is it creates an implicit trust for the other girls in the group at that same level, of "this guy is cool." This applies up to about Incidental Class 3. Doesn’t really work for the escalation ramp, although it has been observed to happen with kissing quite readily i.e. kissing every guy in the group.
5. DiCarlo Escalation Ladder as a Standalone Method The DEL provides both a sufficient framework for escalation and a linear step-by-step process such that it could be used as a standalone method. You can use one of the many popular verbal structures out there, but basic conversational skills will suffice, given an elementary understanding of the ladder. There is an inherent value and attractiveness to a man who can escalate in such an intelligent and socially aware manner, which is why your verbal content does not matter very much when using this method. The DiCarlo Escalation Ladder combined with enough conversational skill to disengage her critical mind is a very powerful, yet natural method.
VINDICARLO.COM – VIN’S BLOG www.vindicarlo.com/forums/vins-blog
The Definitive Sexual Tension Sexual tension is paramount in any good pick-up. It is the energy, or charge of the interaction. Its application is subtle, but powerful. High sexual tension is necessary for speeding up escalation. It is how I can consistently bed woman in 2-4 hours, and often in less than half an hour. So what is sexual tension? There are many different conceptualizations of sexual tension floating around in the seduction community. Some examples of these are cocky bantering and flirting, explicit sexual interest paired with false barriers, using the word “sexy” to convey a sexual intent, and of course the old Speed Seduction route - complex language patterns intended to implant sexual thoughts in a woman’s mind. Some of these techniques are better than others, and can definitely improve the quality and success of your pickups. I prefer a very pure definition of sexual tension because it is grounded in real sexual desire, and a very natural way of magnifying the tension felt by the woman. Sexual tension is the presence of a controlled arousal state, in the absence of overt sexual interest. When the time is right, I create sexual tension by focusing my sexual desire on my woman, but not making any overt sexual advances. I maintain intrigue, a sense of ambiguity, which keeps her focused on me, and directs her mind toward sexual thoughts. My state is transferred to her, and she is now aroused. It is then only a matter of handling logistics through leadership and compliance techniques.
Controlled Sexual Arousal State There are two reasons why a sexually aroused state is so important. First, woman love sex. A sexual man is valuable to a woman because he can give her pleasure. Woman are attracted to men who are attracted to woman. Pg 37
The second reason is more subtle. There is a phenomenon I call “state-transfer.” Have you ever been in a bad mood, and a friend came by in a really great, excited mood? Your mood probably changed, and you found yourself smiling and cheering up in spite of yourself. How do you feel around someone when they are nervous? You feel nervous too! Think of a time you were with a woman, say a girlfriend, and she was obviously very horny and sexually aroused, but you weren’t doing anything sexual. You probably got excited because she was excited. This is how humans hypnotize each other in everyday life - we transfer our states to each other.
Can you see where this is going? State transfer may occur on a metaphysical, psychic energy level. But more so, a state is transferred with nonverbal sub communication. When you are turned on, your voice subtly (or not so subtly) reflects your state, as do your facial expressions, eye contact, manner of touching, body language, and a million other little things to numerous to try to micromanage.
How to have a controlled arousal state It’s not as simple as just being horny, although that’s part of it. State control is vital - if you are nervous or uncomfortable, you won’t be able to get sexually aroused. (State control is not only vital in seduction, but in life. It allows you to stay calm, generally happy, and more productive. In spiritual terms, it is sometimes called “staying centred” or having “peace of mind.”) The best way to stay calm and comfortable in social situations is experience. Socialize more, go out (sober), get experience talking to woman. Meditation, good diet, avoidance of harmful indulgences like drug use, television, internet (porn), and regular exercise all help. You already know how to get aroused. During your interactions with woman, simply focus on what she’d look like naked, or imagine having sex with her, or whatever fun little thoughts you want to entertain.
Creating Tension The tension component is really an extension of the second level of the Attraction Hierarchy - Intrigue. Intrigue can be described in two ways. It can be seen as a lack of over-validating a woman, or getting her attention fixated on you by being ambiguous and holding back information. These are flip sides of the same coin. Applied to sexual tension, we enter a sexual state, but don’t verbalize our desire. If we did, she may like it, or not like it, but at now she knows where she stands - she is validated. That isn’t bad, but it’s not optimal. She has you figured out, and knows you want her, which gives her the option of forgetting about you and focusing elsewhere. You are “solved.” Another key point about verbalizing sexual interest is that it puts her in a position where she has to agree to it. She must consciously admit that this is leading to sex. Again, that’s not bad, but is not optimal, and sometimes can create a mental block in her mind for getting isolated with you. Imagine sitting in a room with a closed treasure chest in front of you. Then you open it and find gold coins. When is the chest more interesting? Pg 38
True, the gold coins are great, but there’s no longer a mystery. You can even forget about the gold coins for a while to go watch TV or call a friend, because those coins aren’t going anywhere. But before you know what’s in there, that chest preoccupies your mind and keeps your attention. This can be done with the following verbal techniques. We can amp up this tension by increasing ambiguity, i.e. intrigue, with the following techniques: Incidental kino: As per the “DiCarlo Escalation Ladder,” spend more time on incidental kino, touching her for reasons other than just to touch her. Overt kino: When you are touching her for the sake of touching, create ambiguity and get her all riled up by coming close to, but not actually touching, her sexual parts. Run your hand down her side, just missing her breasts. Rest your hand just above her butt. Stick your pinky finger just under the waist band of her pants. Lean in and smell her neck, but don’t kiss her. Playfully push her against a wall, and close in, then back off without an explanation. Her attention is focused on you, as she gets aroused, thinking “did he mean to say that? did he mean to touch me? What’s going on? Is sex coming?” She gets really emotionally excited because of the ambiguity.
Considerations As I teach in the Attraction Hierarchy, woman vary on how much comfort they require before the vibe gets sexual. We make woman feel comfortable with Credibility - letting her know a) I am safe, b) I understand and share her worldview, c) I can improve her worldview and changer her reality through my guidance. Some woman want sexual tension right away, or they get bored. These woman are usually very social and comfortable with their bodies - waitresses, dancers - but not always. Sometimes the shy ones are the freaks! Most woman need some level of comfort first. Talk to her like she’s a friend, stay calm, positive/accepting, and interested in her life. After some basic rapport is established, turn on your arousal state. If she clams up or gets uncomfortable, snap out of it and switch back to Credibility fast. Also, don’t use any weird, sleazy tonality when you are aroused. Just keep a normal, masculine tonality, speak slowly, resonantly, and relaxed.
The Red Light Report Hey, I've got a great touching (aka “physical escalation”) trick I'm going to show you, in just a second. I'll show you the in's and out's of: 1) Why it works, 2) How it works, 3) Why you should use it and 4) When it's “safe” to use it. In plain English, too. So you don't have to wade through “technical” jargon. But first, I've got to tell you the story behind this report: I was coming back from a date with this girl named Anna. We had some dinner, went back to her place... And well, you know the rest. ;-) Anyways, after we had sex, I asked her when she decided to sleep with me. (By the way – Getting a girl's feedback on your “game” RIGHT after you sleep with her is the ultimate tool to getting better with women) Pg 39
She brought up this one little touching-trick I do, and said it made her feel very “protected and safe.” She said she was attracted to me, but couldn't decide whether I would make a good friend with benefits... Boyfriend... Or even just a friend. And Anna told me THIS two-second technique pushed her over the edge, to boyfriend land. Why is this important? Well, two reasons: First, because it means the connection and warmth of a loving relationship... And second... and warmth of a loving relationship... And second...Because now I can sleep with her, whenever I want. All I've got to do, in order to see her again, is pick up the phone and call her. No more “attraction game”, or trying to “get into her pants.” Just “Hey Anna, it's Vin. We should hang out, I'm bringing over a movie.” I've always done this subconsciously, but I finally realized EXACTLY why it works, and how you can do it with zero chance of rejection. ….
Let's start with What Does This Technique Do? Simply put: This technique will make a girl classify you as a “Boyfriend” or “Fuck- Buddy”, right off the bat. Most guys start out as a “friend”, and have to be PROMOTED to “boyfriend” or “Friend w/ Benefits.” And the techniques you need to bust out of the friend zone are – frankly – pretty friggin' tough, if you don't have a ton of experience pulling them off. (And if you're stuck as a friend, you have to listen to her bitch about how other guys treat her, treat her nicer than any other girls you know, and even drop your plans on a moment's notice to be with her... Without even getting laid. It sucks) So, I prefer to SKIP the “friend zone”, completely, and this is one of the techniques I use to make it happen. How Does It Work? Very sneakily ;-) Very sneakily ;-) I'm also going to use this section to explain The Step-By-Step Technique, as well, so pay extra close attention: Girls are hard-wired to react to a “new” touch in a unique way, when compared to men. She's smaller, weaker and – if she gets raped or pregnant – She has to suffer all the inconveniences of childbirth. So any “strange”, “surprise” or “jolting” touch is hard-wired to turn her off, extremely quickly. Imagine if you walked up to a strange girl at a restaurant, and tried to touch her face. You'll get SLAPPED – at the bare minimum. But you NEED to touch her, to get her sexually attracted to you. And the 'first touch' you give her is going to be shocking or surprising, no matter what... Simply because it's the first time you've touched her in an intimate way. How do you get around this roadblock? Like I said before, veerrryy creatively: When you're on your first date with a girl, grab her hand to cross traffic. Not like grab her and DRAG her behind you, but say something like: “Oh, watch out for that car. Here, follow me” … Then take hold of her hand, and lead her through traffic. When you're out of the road, let it go. It's a very protective gesture, so it's attractive to her, and will break the touch barrier. And Here's The REAL Kicker: The first TWO times you help her across the street, just drop her hand once you cross. She'll think “Oh, he's helping me cross the street” and it won't be weird at all. The THIRD time, however, keep on holding her hand. You've instantly got a comfortable, intimate touch with her (holding hands), and her mind is already programmed to accept it. She'll be comfortable with your touch, and rationalize her comfort to herself. Pg 40
Remember how we discovered women who were Uncomfortable with your touch get turned off? It works in reverse, too – and is why – and is why touching a woman correctly is so damn important: If You Touch Her In The RIGHT Way, She'll Tell Herself She MUST Be Attracted To – And Turned On By – YOU Because if she WASN'T... She wouldn't feel comfortable holding your hand. Follow me? Good. :-)
So WHY Should You Use THIS Technique, In The First Place?
Because being a girl's “friend” SUCKS! There's nothing worse than really wanting to be intimate with a girl – Whether you're looking for a lover, girlfriend or even just sex – And being stuck on the sidelines, watching her meet other guys. It's a pain in the ass, and it makes you feel WORSE about yourself for not being the man she “chooses.” Touching Her In The RIGHT Way DESTROYS Any Chance Of Her Seeing You As “Just A Friend” You As “Just A Friend” If you're hesitant to touch women, and get put in the “creepy” or “friend” zone a lot, you're probably asking: “But Vin, When Is This Technique SAFE To Use, Without Rejection?” And my answer is: Two Minutes Into Your FIRST Date. Or even on an insta-date. Or 30 seconds into your first conversation. Technically, the answer is: Whenever you get the chance. Because she won't reject you helping her cross the road – It's a protective and kind gesture – And because she'll become comfortable holding your hand... You really can't miss out. You can't even “get caught”, because you're just helping her cross the street! It's a badass technique, and I want you to try it out, ASAP.
CHARISMAARTS .COM Weblog Dan – Rewarding Rewarding someone with appreciation is really one of the strongest ways you can create attraction. When you reward someone for their uniqueness they feel validated and appreciated. You become approval giving rather than approval seeking if you reward them on their uniqueness. ….. The reward in the reward and relate cycle is nothing more than appreciating when someone tells you something about themselves you appreciate. ….. That reward is so important. We all want to be validated and understood. Relating is important but it is the reward we give people that really makes them connect to us. There can be little rewards such as kino, a hug, or a high five. Or larger rewards such as a SOI (Statement of intent) by telling her she is sexy.
Dimitri - Physical Escalation, Boston Style I tried that method first myself in Boston during one of the recent Charm Schools, and it worked very well. I then began teaching it to our clients, and was impressed with how quickly they became the masters of the touch. The key to this exercise is to never touch a woman more than once on the same spot of her body, unless she is not very receptive and you feel you have to pull back a little. Pg 41
Here is the sequence of the now notoriously effective Boston Physical Escalation. Begin by touching a woman with the back of your hand on her forearm, as in classic Juggler Method. Or if she is seated, you can begin by touching her on the outside of her thigh. Then proceed with the following, Hand on the shoulder Hand on the back below the neck Arm around her shoulders Hand on the middle of her back Hand on the small of her back Arm around her waist Hold your hand on her neck for some time Hand on her buttock Kiss. There are a few additional, optional spots. For example you can rub her shoulders, or her back, or massage her feet if you can reach them without freaking out her friends, or hold her hand, put your hand on her knee, or touch her belly. Add them to main structure to your liking. But even without those additions you will be able to escalate the touch very effectively if you follow the simple main structure I had delineated above. Please keep in mind that touching should be very well calibrated, and it takes somewhat longer to physically escalate an interaction than to read the description of the Boston Physical Escalation, especially when it is applied for the day game in public places.
Kory - Touching upon approach Kino and how to use it on the approach: First I'll give you a rundown of what happened and then I'll give you the ways to fix it. I was at a restaurant with a friend and my cousin, we had a nice meal but during the course of that meal I had finished my water and found myself wanting more. I grabbed my cup and walked to the pop machine (that is soda to you nonMidwesterners) and I noticed that there wasn’t a button to push for water. I then did the next thing that came to mind and I decided to ask a nearby waiter for help. I want you to visualize the situation here, there was an island in the middle of the restaurant on one end they had ice cream, on the side towards the seating area they had the machines to refill your refreshments, on the other side they had all the condiments for that ice cream everyone eats, and on the last end they had a waiter there supervising to make sure everything man smoothly. As I noticed there was not a water button to push to refill my empty glass that I so badly wanted to be filled I decided to ask the waiter to my left and not facing me where I could get some water. I approached him from the back/side, reached out with my right hand because the cup was in my left and tapped him on the elbow. He jumped about ten feet in the air because I startled him. I started to ask where to refill my water but I could tell that nothing was registering so I paused and let him regain his composure and then finished what I was saying and he pointed me into the right direction and I finally got that high quality H2O that I so badly desired. I know that kino does many things in interactions and getting the other person undivided attention is one of them. With that being said I have noticed that there is a right way and a wrong way to engage the first touch in an interaction. The main thing that I did wrong in that scenario is that the waiter did not even see me before I touched him, which in turn scared him and put him on edge. Things would have gone much smoother if I would have entered his peripheral vision. Entering someone’s vision lets him or her know that you are there. It states to them that I have nothing to hide and that I am comfortable with us seeing each other. By doing this it will put a girls ASD on pause mode. Every human has an invisible bubble around him or her, to get someone’s attention all you really have to do is Pg 42
burst this bubble when they can visibly see you doing so whether it is in there direct vision or peripheral vision. The bubble that we all have is our safe area in which we know is ours. It is like a sixth sense when someone enters this area and little alarms go off in our head letting us know exactly when someone is doing so. If that other person sees you coming and getting close and they feel you pop that bubble then they are more responsive to your next action, which would be the touch. When you reach out and touch that person it has to have a meaning of getting their full attention. You use the back of your hand and you put it to the outside of their arm and you apply light pressure. This kino should get their attention while still allowing them to finish a conversation they are already in. By doing this you let them know that you are there and that you want to engage in interaction with them. Things to stay away from are that annoying tap which makes you seem needy because you NEED their attention right now and that hard push that almost knocks someone over which never goes over well because you could hurt them or scare the hell out of them. Even when you approach from the side the person you are interacting with sees you through there peripheral vision and they know that you are there so once again touching them does not put them on edge and make them feel uncomfortable. So if I had approached the waiter from the front or at an angle where I know he will see me and if I walk up to him close enough to touch him then I know that I will gain his full attention before I even speak. The best part about doing this is that I have showed that I had nothing to hide and I put myself out there in other words I fully committed to the interaction. By me doing that the other person is likely to do the same. I also have demonstrated high value because of the fact that I didn't speak until I had his undivided attention. I have made him feel comfortable with me approaching because he saw me make the approach, which in return helps my get the answer to my question. The more comfortable you make others the more willing they are to open up to you and help you out whether it is asking where to get a glass of water or your asking what their passion in life is. So let’s recap on the approach you must be in the other persons vision whether its direct or in there peripheral, you totally commit which means getting close enough to break there bubble, and last you touch them with holding slight pressure. These are key ingredients to mastering the first touch in an interaction.
TimmyD - Calibration and Kino Kino: There are a number of steps when it comes to KINOing, given the circumstances. But my god, if she is out having a good time in the evening, who says you can't skip steps one, two, three and go right for more! Just SPANK IT! MANY people have a misconception on how and when to Kino. Here is what I tell my students on how to Kino: When do we SOI? On her HIGH POINTS Well guess what? we KINO on OUR HIGH POINTS - on OUR EMOTIONAL SPIKES. The best example I can give is a girl and her date watching a scary movie... What happens when she gets startled or frightened? she JUMPS ON AND GRABS ONTO HER DATE or the next closest thing to her.
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It can even be a stranger and she'll automatically jump into his arms. It's a NATURAL human instinct to hold/KINO based on OUR emotional spikes. Think about when you see 2 platonic friends- and they've just won the math national championships or its NEW YEARS EVE or something like that. You see them jumping in the air and, for a split second, they hug and kiss each other right on the lips out of EXCITEMENT. That, my friends, is how you KINO, on your emotional spikes: fear, excitement, nervousness, etc. So the next time you hear a stranger tell a story, it excites and captivates you, GRAB her in the arm. Get her attention, and with conviction in your eyes tell her: "THAT is the most captivating story I've ever heard - it reminds me of something I'd see in the movies."
Wiki.CharismaArts.com “Method overview” Touching Casual Touching Touching (also called kino by some) is an easy way to build comfort with a woman. There are "safe" areas that you can touch: outside shoulder outside arm outside thigh small of her back These are all platonic areas where her brothers and guy friends touch her. We call these the areas "Platonia" land of "Let's just be friends" You can touch a woman here, but she will not consider it being flirty. If anything, she will be confused about your intentions. This will make her uncomfortable and she won't answer your phone calls. If you want her to know that you're interested you have to touch some different areas. Purposeful Touching If you want to make sure a woman knows your flirting with her (recommended) then touch her here: belly inner thigh back of her neck Obviously you can't just start out doing these (except the belly). You should work your way up to it. Start with some casual touching on her outer thigh or shoulder depending on where you're positioned relative to her. Then work your way to something more intimate over the course of the interaction. Belly Kino Sometimes we call this the "Physical SOI" because it is so effective in communicating your interest to a woman. We like to start with belly kino and just ramp it up over the course of the interaction. Use the back of your hand and lightly push a girl away from you on her belly. She will probably jump on you at this point. That is a good thing. Do it more if that happens.
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www.TheCharismaticMan.com Belly Kino Explained People kept asking about belly kino so instead of writing about it I took pictures. 1. DON’T be grabby. Don’t try to hold onto her like she’s a rung on a ladder.
2. DON’T try to cover the stomach. Unless you’re trying to see if she has abs or something.
3. DO use the back of your hand.
4. DO it even on the side by the oblique’s.
5. DO not play grab ass. :) Well, only if she’s into it.
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Podcast 10 – From the original Charisma Arts website My transcript Kino 1. Very powerful multiplier of Rewards effect a. I.e. after people share an intimate fact about themselves b. Shows them that you are fully present when they are revealing themselves to you c. That you appreciate what they are sharing 2. Emphasises the mental/emotional connection on a physical level as well 3. Breaks down barriers 4. Increases the intimacy 5. Must be used from the very beginning otherwise the barriers are harder later on a. Kino before your first word even. Heightens peoples interest in what you have to say next b. Gets their attention, they will even adjust their posture towards you 6. Makes people comfortable with you very quickly 7. Kino by touching on a. the arms with the back of your hand and any other non-threatening place b. outside of their leg 8. No one ever gets blown off with early kino a. Because it is too good a vibe, too warm b. Shows you’re confident c. And is a DHV as well
CHARISMA-DR.BLOGSPOT.COM Touching BEFORE I make my sexual intent known A question came into my inbox this week on touching, also known as KINO. I love your posts, specifically your gym field reports. I think they're just superb because you outline EVERYTHING (in colours!), logistics, SOIs, OEQs, it's like an educational colouring book on how to get a girl in the sack. But generally when handling other people, her friends, coc*blockers, winning them over and so on I don't know what to do. (In fact, basic kino itself eludes me). Anyways, I'm looking forward to your guide. You don't have to answer any of my questions at all, but if any of them gives you inspiration then awesome. Best wishes, -Peppermint Gomez Thanks Peppermint for the kind words and reading my gym posts (note to bloggers: I will re-post some of my more memorable written ramblings from the CA forum). This is a great question so I am more than happy to answer . The ability to communicate non verbally continues to be something I always work on. Touching helps me BUILD COMFORT with strangers to remove the "awkwardness" of my initial approach. The last thing I want to do is scare girls away a la Edward Scissorhands. However if Edward, can get a kiss from Winona Ryder without touching her, I touch girls and tell them I'M Johnny Depp’s little brother. I break down touching into three different types: Pg 46
Initial touch Casual touch Purposeful touch (AFTER I make my sexual intent know)
Initial Touch Today, I will focus on the Initial and Casual touch. Once I’ve decided to approach a stranger the first thing I do is HAVE THEIR ATTENTION before I say anything important. There are verbal ways to get a girls attention without touching, but in louder venues or approaching someone from behind (which I don't recommend), the INITIAL TOUCH is one the best way to get her attention. A vaudevillian song and dance may work too, but I haven't tried that. So how is this done? What I do is take the back of my hand and will "touch" her shoulder. Keep in mind I will use the hand that will open her up to me. if she is facing left, I will touch her right shoulder with my right hand and open her up to face me. I do this without any hesitation because if I’m "scared" to touch her, my touch will look like I'm scared to touch her. I stop playing "tag" in elementary school, so now it not the time to start with her. A firm confident touch work best. After that I tell her WHY I wanted to talk to her. Why use the back of the hand? Well I found the back of the hand much less threatening or creepy than the palm of my hand. The worst initial touch is using the index finger pointing repeatably on her shoulder like a doorbell. In my best Doctor McCoy impersonation from Star Trek: "Dammit Jim, she's a girl not a doorbell."
Casual Touch Get her attention, but try not to "ring her bell". Once I’m in the PERSONAL phase of a conversation, I like to use CASUAL TOUCH as a way to physically "Reward" any commitment from her that I like. It lets her know that it’s ok for her to touch me. When I touch her, I found that she will touch me back. The casual touch will be a touch and release in non-treating spots on her body I.e. - her shoulder, elbow, upper back, and when sitting down her outer knee. At this point, I will not use the back of my hand but will touch palms facing her. By now, I’ve built RAPPORT and my touching won't be creepy. I still don't touch using my index finger, unless I’m giving her a "wet-willy". What about hugging? I feel hugging is casual, so yes, I’m pro hugging. The one-armed "Bro" hug is acceptable as well. Day vs Night? During the day I don't casually touch as much. if I go on an INSTANT DATE then I will probably touch more. Pg 47
At night, especially in louder venues, I will touch her elbow and guide her in close to say something then guide her away when I’m done. In general I do touch more at night. Well that’s all I have for today. Thanks for the question Peppermint on touching BEFORE making your sexual intent know.
Wayne "Juggler" Elise Interviews dR about first dates To recap, the two pearls of wisdom that have worked for me on first dates are: 1. Pick a low key lounge or somewhere quite where you can talk, preferably near your or her place. I prefer lounges because alcohol makes the night FUN. Plus if we are near each other’s place, the night doesn't have to end at the bar. 2. ESCALATE! Have a plan for the date. Usually if I haven't kissed the girl when I first got her phone number, then my plan is to kiss her on the first date. NOTE: Do NOT wait till the end of the night to kiss her LAME LAME LAME! why I like kissing in the middle of the date, is kissing leads to more kissing. It has never been one and done when I’ve done this. I like to imagine I’m Gene Simmons, and it’s my job....NO! my duty to Kiss her and Kiss her well.
SEDUCTIONTUITION.COM Wayne Elise - Seduction Tuition Interview (Part 2) Pdf
Physical escalation, leading to make outs in the club?
Nightvision: How about physical escalation, leading to make outs in the club? Wayne Elise: Physical escalations. What do you mean, more specifically? I mean, they’re good. It’s a good thing. Nightvision: Yeah, I mean the kino. And how do you obviously increase the kino, build sexual tension without verbally, nonverbally, using physical kino and all that? How would you actually do that, to actually lead to us making out? Wayne Elise: Well, I believe that you always… you should try to SOI before you make out. Now the SOI usually is going to be verbal. It’s best when it’s verbal and you can certainly tell somebody you find them sexy even in a loud club, but it can be nonverbal in some ways. But I think you’ve got to show your sexual intent, directly. And then, once that goes through, then you want to change your kino. Typically, how we teach it is that… before the SOI, you’re kino is called casual touching; you’re touching someone as you’re expressing. But after you SOI, you should then use purposeful kino, which means touching somebody purposefully because it feels good. So taking her hands, saying: “Hey, I’ve been told this really feels good…” Pg 48
and touching her hand in a way… kind of running her fingers across her palm, and then maybe touching her ear- things like that- just to show her you’re doing it on purpose to make her feel good. That should be after your SOI. That should work as long as you got logistical problems out of the way and she still digs you, and all that stuff. So, doing things not because it’s part of your expression necessarily at that point, but because you’re doing it on purpose. You actually want to show that you were trying to make her feel good. A lot of guys miss that. They think at that point, they’re still doing casual touching so they’re still, kind of, touching her casually as they’re talking as if it’s part of their expression, which is good at the beginning. But once you SOI, you’ve got to go to the next stage. Nightvision: Right, and it’s very important to start the kino right at the beginning of the conversation of meeting the woman. Otherwise it may seem creepy, where we’ll be talking for 20-30 minutes without touching and then suddenly the kino comes in. Wayne Elise: Yeah, I think that’s kind of standard advice. I think it does depend on context, though. You do have to socially calibrate because I’ve seen some guys do it at the wrong time, at the wrong place, and it felt a little weird. So, it’s always good if you can do it as you’re expressing… and you can kind of look around… is this a good, appropriate moment- place and time- to do it? I would say, figure that a little bit. And you don’t want to do it too much. A little goes a long way because, ultimately, you want to get her wanting more. You don’t want her playing defence. You never want a girl playing defence. You want to leave her wanting more so… a little kino does go a long way.
DIMITRI — MY JUGGLER METHOD (Compact edition by another Dimitri aka Mohican)
Part I Chapter 4 3) Escalate Among the number of actions creating the escalation one is particularly important. I'm talking about the touch (scientifically nicknamed kinesthetics or short "Kino"). Quite a few men appear to have a problem with touching women. I used to be very troubled about that - until I've realized that Kino wasn't a problem. It's a solution! (As in "landing the plane with the engine failure isn't a problem... it's a solution"). Kino is the lube that makes the whole machine of courtship run smoothly, without grinding the sprockets. Without Kino, the Juggler Method wouldn't do much for you, it just somehow wouldn't work. Quite simply, it's the touch that makes a woman want to stay in the interaction with you! There's one thing that I as the instructor have to whisper in my clients' ears again and again as I observe them interacting with women during our in-field practice: "Tooooouuuuuch heeeeer!" Touch her. How is it done? I guess I'll have to show you. But the important principle is this: touching must escalate. Pg 49
Start small - by touching her on the forearm, for example. And then gradually proceed to her shoulder, on the back, on the back of the neck, on the small of her back -- and so on. One of my favorite variations on Kino is the Hand Kino Escalation: I only touch a woman's hand, and nothing else. I begin with the back of her hand, than later I hold her hand, then I squeeze it and see if she squeezes my hand in return, then I put my fingers between hers, I kiss her wrist softly, etc.
Part I Chapter 5 More about Escalation The first Turning Point of Escalation is the Opening. And here's the biggest secret of the so-called "nightgame" I've ever learned about talking to strangers and turning them into lovers: open with Kino. Kino comes before the words - and will continue throughout the entire interaction. Before I say anything, I touch a woman on the outside of the arm (or on the outside of the leg, this option is more intimate and is of course available only when she is seated) with the back of my hand. I hold the contact for a few moments (because if I remove my hand instantly it would feel to a woman almost as if I pinched her). Only after I've touched a woman, I say something. ….. During the Personal phase Kino is used to deepen the rapport. ….. During the Sexual phase the purpose of Kino is to give a woman physical pleasure, to make her feel good. A little back rub or neck rub, running fingers through her hair, caressing her tenderly anywhere she wants - now is the time for doing this.
SEXREVOLUTIONBLOG.COM The Importance of Touch One important lesson that I’ve learned in pickup: you should always start touching a girl as early as you can. This ties into demonstrating sexual value. Touch (or kino) is important because it demonstrates all four dimensions of DEVI (Dominance, Emotion, Variety, Immersion) simultaneously. It demonstrates DOMINANCE because you have the balls to touch her without nervousness or hesitation It demonstrates EMOTION because touch is intimate — it gets her to see you as a sexual partner rather than just another dude It demonstrates VARIETY because by alternating touching and pulling away, and keeping it unpredictable, you can make her want your touch more And finally it demonstrates IMMERSION because touching her makes her comfortable with you sexually. The more you touch her prior to getting her in bed, the more comfortable she will be with you undressing her. Of course, kino (touch) can go very badly if you do it in the wrong way. If you are nervous or hesitant to touch her, it displays a lack of Dominance, Emotion, etc. Unfortunately, there is no magic way to rid yourself of this nervousness. If you are not used to touching girls right away, you WILL get nervous and creep girls out at first
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when you start trying to use kino right away. This is inevitable. But, if you stick with it, you’ll steadily become more comfortable touching girls right away. To get yourself used to touching girls right away, develop into a “touchy” person. Make it a social reflex to touch people (male or female) at high points in the conversation. Then, when you do it with girls, it will seem more natural and create more attraction. And of course, becoming a great lover will automatically make your touch better across all four dimensions of DEVI. It is very hard to get nervous about touching a girl on the arm when you regularly have girls screaming your name and begging you to come inside them. This post by NashvillePlayboy on ASF talks more about why it is important to start kino right away: I just read Killswitch’s post on kino in advanced and I feel the need to open my mouth, lol. Number one reason why kino is not only important, but the reason why you should do it early, and I’ll let you give me the answer. How many girls are you going to bed that don’t even feel comfortable with you touching them? Exactly. A girl isn’t going to let you anywhere close to her pants without being comfortable with you simply touching her. Even more so, the sooner you start with kino, the less likely she is to object. Woodhaven had a great post in Advanced about different stages of kino, incidental and overt. And these range anywhere from just brushing up against a girl and just sitting close enough to a girl that touching just happens to kissing and everything else. I’m not saying the sooner you start to rub on her pussy, the less likely she is to object. Maybe I ought to field test that first. Anyway, what I’m saying is (and this is word for word something else I posted): - What I’ve found though is that the earlier you start, the less you have to go through to get to later stages of kino. And by early I mean, as soon as you open your mouth (I’m exaggerating, but within the first 2 or 3 minutes)you should have at least touched her in ways other than shaking hands, at least a couple of times. For instance, if you say something jokingly, tap or punch her arm lightly as you say it. Touch her hand lightly for whatever reason. Move beside her and “accidently” brush up against her. If you’re walking, walk close to her so that incidental contact is going to happen. I’m real playful and I joke a lot and use my sense of humour to get physically close to her very quickly. If you have any grasp on c/f, you can be sexual and funny at the same time, have her laughing and open the door to hold her hand, put your/her arm around her/you, hug, kiss on the cheek whatever in 5-10 minutes. It makes it very easy to escalate later on because you’ve already been physical in a way that was more than incidental but by keeping the incidental contact mixed in as you’re gaming her, you take the touchy/feely vibe out of the interaction. And the longer you wait to start kino, the more resistant she is to you advancing. Why kinoing early works so well is that, and I know from experience that woman(and people in general) are very accepting as long as there is no reason to for them not to be. What I mean by that is that once a girl perceives you in a certain way, she accepts that as who you are. Move too Pg 51
far away from that perception too fast and she’s going to get uncomfortable killing whatever rapport you’ve built. Stay close to that perception and if need be, you can edge away a little at a time without any problem. The point then, is to start off doing things so that you will be perceived in a manner that’s beneficial to whatever goal you seek. Most naturals I’ve seen and/or know, are good with kino and start early. Personally, I’ve always used kino. Even before I found the community. Then you realize how important it is and you learn to implement it every sarge. For all of you new guys out there, you have to learn how to touch girls. Point, blank, period. You have to learn how to get comfortable talking to girls first, sure. But at some point you have to learn how to be close to girls. How to touch them. And how to be comfortable doing it in a way that feels natural. It’s like saying some lines you’re not congruent with. You go around hugging on girls and touching there leg and putting your arm around their shoulder but you don’t really feel comfortable, they’re gonna pick up on that and its going to work against you. But if you aren’t comfortable doing it, you just gotta push past that. Another thing that kino is great for that guys completely ignore is the fact that it screens girls for easy and/or quick lays. You start touching girls as early as possible, it’s easier to gauge the girls that are HSD, are really comfortable with themselves, are physically attracted to you… anything that could be considered for lack of a better term, fool’s mate. You might turn the conversation sexual to judge where you are in the sarge or how attracted a girl is to you. You use kino the same way. You have to escalate at some point anyway. Why not escalate to see how comfortable she is with being touched as opposed to waiting until you feel like you’ve built rapport, and she’s attracted to you, and you’ve had IOI’s. On the flip side, you can blow things by trying to move too fast so it takes time to learn to calibrate. You gotta learn how to cut it(kino) off at the right times too. When the girl is shit testing you or anything else counterproductive, you have to use some judgement on how or even if you want to kino. She does something you don’t like, I definitely suggest a takeaway. Rewarding bad behaviour is a definite no, unless it’s bad in a sexual way, then that’s different. Then you get to spank her for being a bad girl and when she starts to be a good girl, you can spank her for that too, lol. And I know a lot of guys don’t get a whole lot of practice with new girls in the end stages of a sarge. And this applies to me as well because its a lot easier to open than close. But you gotta get comfortable touching a girl’s body sexually. Kissing places other than her lips. You know, all the kino that happens right before you close. Since most of us won’t have a new girl every day to practice on, you gotta make use of your fbs and ltrs to get comfortable in general with a woman’s body. You’d think it would go without saying, but some guys still post saying they have no idea what to do. Well, if you can close at least one girl, just keep laying her and get used to what you’re doing. And I honestly feel slow typing this cuz its obvious. If you’ve had at least one girl(i mean, old girl friend, a new lay, that one sarge when everything went right, whatever) you’ve been completely comfortable with, and this is more than just about kino or sex, then that feeling of comfort is what you should be aiming for when you’re with other woman. I don’t care what routines(that Pg 52
you do or don’t use) or techniques or methods you use, if you can’t feel comfortable and natural doing it, then in the long run, it’s not going to be at all productive.
Secret Principles of Pleasure – IN10SE - Part II Skillset : Foreplay And Sexual Techniques Windows to the Soul… We’ve all heard it said that the eyes are the windows to the soul – We connect through the eyes, we can stir desire, arouse passion, and bring about a deep sense of closeness through eye contact. In fact, the first stage of connection is most often through our eyes. You can penetrate a lover’s body just as much with your eyes as you can with your body. Here is my secret for arousing a lover with my eyes. Again this may be seen as magical thinking, but so much of being a sensual lover is what happens in the mind. I first connect with my eyes, usually my left eye with their left eye as we talk. Then I take on the most sensual thoughts of the two of us making the most passionate erotic connection – physically and mentally. Now verbally, we may just be talking about the weather, but my eyes and my voice are coloured by a different intent. Remember this … Your intent creates the underlying meaning of the interaction Next, I focus in on taking in their very essence through my eyes – like a wisp of smoky energy that connects with me as a take a deep breath in as they’re looking at me. Now can they pick up on this? Definitely – and not always on a conscious level. They may notice that you are especially seductive and attractive – that they find themselves wanting more of you – that they feel a deep connection with you as they look into your eyes. The feeling and intent that you put behind your eyes as you look deep into theirs is what will draw them to you even before you ever touch them
Touch is everything… There is nothing like being touched the right way by a lover… touch has the power to entice, to build desire, to soothe, to calm, to tease… Touch has been shown to release chemicals in our brain that give us pleasure, make us feel good, make us want more. But I’ve come across a secret that makes a definite difference in the way that touch is both given and received. There’s a difference between ordinary touch and “Sensual” touch. The feeling that you put behind your touch is what makes it sensual. What I’m talking about here is the energy or put another way the “intent” behind your touch. You see, there is energy and intent behind every action that we take and everything we do in life – and touch is no different. Just try an experiment here. You need to have a partner or friend who can give you some objective feedback. There are two parts to this experiment. First just touch their arm just like you would in any everyday situation – no particular emotion behind it. Then, wait a little while – fill you mind with sensual thoughts of the two of you in bed (or wherever you want to be getting it on) – and imagine the two of you making the most passionate, sensual, erotic connection… now touch them. Ask them if there was a difference in the way that you touched them or in the way that they experienced your touch. Now if they’re in tune with their own body and their own perceptions – you’ll find that there is indeed a definite difference. Even if it’s just perception alone – the perception of what’s behind the touch on an Pg 53
unconscious level, sets up the context for the touch. It’s almost as if the sensual intent behind the touch changes everything – as the touch is just a physical manifestation of a connection on a much deeper level. In fact, one secret of great lovers is to: Create connection on the deeper mental levels and the physical level will follow And what’s interesting is that you can touch people like this who you really don’t know that well, or who you may have an interest in – and you’ll find that the fires of desire are much more easily stirred within them. Yes, it may be magical thinking, but so much of being a sensual lover is – there is so much that is in the mind, which carries over into the way that you walk, talk, breathe and act. Now in general there are two types of touch – light and heavy. But there’s more to it than just that. Here’s another secret about touch. Touch - like everything, tells a story Amplify what your partner gives you – because the climax of that will take you to the next level And a good story has an introduction, middle, a building of tension, and a release and climax. Let your touch be the same way. I will start with light touching in places that are non-obtrusive. In places like the arms, hands… And that sets the premise. As the premise is set, you move to the middle of the story where comfort builds and sexual tension starts. This sexual tension gradually builds and builds until it overwhelms the both of you and the climax of it brings you to the next level. But this next level isn’t the same for everyone. Everyone has their own model for the way that their used to things happening sexually. For many, touch progresses to kissing, and kissing to sex. For others touch may lead directly to sex. Developing sexual tension and progression of physical intimacy can be nonlinear. Take what they give you and amplify it – whether it be touch, kissing, foreplay… The secret here is: Amplify what your partner gives you – because the climax of that will take you to the next level And here’s another secret: You can touch your lover using other parts of your body other than your hands in their more intimate places and it be not only permissible, but it can build the sexual tension. Yes, you can touch parts of your lover’s body with parts of your body that you wouldn’t otherwise be able to touch with your hands right away. Because you aren’t touching them with your hands, some part of them may think that you aren’t touching in those places purposefully – and so it becomes permissible. An example of this is when you meet someone out at a lounge or bar. If you’re a man, she may be sitting at the bar and turn to face you as you begin to talk. Light touching ensues. Touching places that are non-obtrusive like her arms, shoulders, outer thigh. Then let’s say that you two really begin to hit it off and you want to escalate the physical tension – you may be sitting facing her with your legs entangled with hers… in other words, your leg in between hers. As you lean in and talk in her ear, your knee presses up against her in between her legs – and she presses herself into you. If you’re a woman, you may unconsciously brush your breast up against a man who you feel attracted to. What I’m saying here is that touch doesn’t just happen with the hands. You can escalate touch is ways that can go much further and create more tension by using other parts of your body to touch more intimate parts of your Pg 54
partners body. Now that your touch has set a premise, let it become comfortable. Let your lover become comfortable with your touch and touching you. Touching in places like the thighs, the shoulders – giving a shoulder massage are all ways that you can build comfort with touch. Now that touch has become comfortable I begin moving the comfortable touch into places that are more sensitive. These places are places like, the back of the neck, behind the ears, running fingers through the hair, lightly stroking the insides of the thighs, the insides of the arms, running fingers along the curve of the stomach… These are places that are more sensitive because they have more nerve receptors. And a light sensual touch in these areas can really build up the desire and the sexual tension fast. There comes a point where the sexual tension is so intense, that the transition to heavy touch in these same places becomes natural. Imagine with me now as you touch your lovers body with a heavy, passionate touch in these sensitive places – along the insides of their thighs, running your fingers along their stomach – and on down. The transition to kissing or the next level is completely natural at this point.
SEX REVOLUTION HANDBOOK – DANIEL ROSE Act Three: The Revolution Archives The Role of Physical Stimulation In Act II, the importance of psychological stimulation over physical stimulation was stressed. However, this is not to say that physical stimulation is not necessary. Think of your sexual skills as a tower. Think of your physical stimulation skills as the foundation of your tower. Psychological stimulation alone will not produce orgasms (except at the highest levels – and even then, it will not consistently produce orgasms). The presence of physical stimulation is necessary to translate your psychological stimulation into orgasms. The problem is, raw physical stimulation by itself can only take you so far. It is only the foundation which enables you to build psychological stimulation on top of it. In order to reach the highest levels, you must use psychological stimulation. With physical stimulation, you should aim for competency. With psychological stimulation, you should aim for mastery. The two most important dimensions of your physical technique (erection quality and stamina) directly stem from your own psychological state. These problems can rarely have medical causes, but 90% of the time they are caused by psychological problems in men. The best way to solve these problems, therefore, is not to concentrate primarily on physical technique, but on techniques to improve your psychological state.
Specificity of Physical Stimulation The four dimensions of psychological stimulation discussed in the DEVI model above are universal. All women need dominance, emotion, variety, and immersion to have a good sex life. Physical stimulation, on the other hand, is different. There are some techniques that work well on most women. However, women vary widely in exactly what manner of physical stimulation they prefer. Pg 55
If you are not sexually experienced, follow the techniques given in this book as a general guideline. They will work well on almost all women, and extremely well on some women. However, in order to give the most pleasure to your specific woman, you will have to do some experimentation. Don’t do this experimentation in the early stages of the relationship (when you’ve had sex with her less than five times). This is because before you’ve had sex this many times, she is not fully converted – that is, she may not be entirely sure that she wants to get involved with you beyond a temporary fling. At this stage, if you wish to be sexually involved with the woman in the long-term, you should concentrate on the basics of physical stimulation. Later in the relationship, start to slowly mix in experimentation to your physical technique. She will be comfortable enough to welcome it, and it will improve the variety in your sex life. Of course, there is only so much experimentation that is possible in the physical realm. Learn the different strokes that she responds to. Once you have you don’t have to do anything too complex beyond that. Remember, physical stimulation is just the necessary foundation – the real art of sex lies in psychological stimulation.
SEXGODMETHOD .COM BLOG Forget the Handshake…go for the HUG Generally guys are too timid when touching girls. This stems from the fact that most guys are not getting enough high quality sex — unless you have the confidence that sexual mastery brings, you will always have anxiety and fear associated with touching girls. To overcome this, you must consciously push past your fears and always touch her MORE than you think you should. A good example of this is when you first meet a girl. Avoid the distant, formal, business-like handshake at all costs. When you shake her hand, pull clasp her hand in both of yours and pull her close to you. Look into her eyes and smile — make it clear that this is not a formal or “acquaintance” handshake. The smile here is very important. You want to make your “handshake” have a sexual vibe right off the bat. In order to do this, you also need a warm, friendly smile to make sure she feels comfortable. Dazzle her with a smile right off the bat combined with warm, sexual eye contact and you’ll be ahead of the game before you even start. Whenever you see a girl for the second time, you should never greet her with a handshake. Go straight for the hug. If she sticks out her hand, ignore it and just hug her. It doesn’t matter if she is a friend or a potential girlfriend — handshakes between people who know each other reek of uncomfortableness and asexuality. Hugging her, on the other hand, will attract her because it shows balls (Dominance), one of the four traits of a great lover. Check out STR8UP’s perspective on this on sosuave.net: I have always been accustomed to shaking hands with a person when I meet them, male or female. This is pretty much standard protocol, but recently I was introduced to girl by one of my female friends and I decided to change it up. When the new girl put out her hand for a handshake, I felt kinda awkward that I had just hugged one girl and I was going to shake hands with another, so I said fukk it and went for the hug instead of the handshake. Pg 56
After I did it for the first time I thought to myself, “hmmmm…..this could be a great way to build instant rapport”. Last night a few girls that I know stopped by my house before we hit the clubs. The two girls that I know walked in first and I gave them both hugs. The next one I had met once before, and she went for the handshake which I “rejected” and went for the hug. As the other two girls walked in the door each one stuck out their hand and I did the same thing. Not sure how much replacing the handshake with a hug can help, but I’m pretty certain it isn’t going to work against you in most cases.
SEXUAL MASTERY SEMINARS – NEO (& DAVID WYGANT) Neo Young of Complete Lover fame
[email protected] Seminar 1 – 3/19 – Opening & Kino 29m:14s Touching her (Kino) Many guys don’t touch women enough, especially in relationships. Should be touching her at least 20% of the time. Lot of guys only really consistently touch her in bed. Let her know through your touch how good a lover you can be. The way you stroke her hair, the way you run your finger down her back and just hold her lower back, shows the level of awareness you can have on top of claiming her You need to have that balance of masculine and female energy to draw the full sexual potential out of a woman. Most women want to be taken. Once she feels you can take her, she wants to be adored and have that tenderness, have you ride that wave up and down. 30m:21s Be touching her a lot David touches his woman 70% of the time. He is very selective with his women because he wants those long sessions of making out, making love and touching her, grabbing her hair. He likes to claim her by touching her in public by grabbing her hand, whispering in her ear how he loves her, that he wants her etc, how amazing last night was. 31m:40s Foreplay thorough the day Foreplay starts from the second you wake up in bed. Wake up next to her, spoon her, tell her how great last night felt. Connect with her, press up against her body, hold her really tight because those feelings she has, will last the whole day. Connect with your lover throughout the whole day via text messaging or email, keeping her hot for you, like “last night was great, I can still smell you all over me” or “I can’t wait to get my hands all over you again” or “I can still taste you.” Then when you finally see her you still might not have sex for a couple hours, just watching TV together or making dinner, pressed up against her. The more you touch her, the more you feel into her, the more of your essence is all over her, the greater the sex is going to be. If you’ve been stimulating / teasing her the whole day, by 10 o’ clock at night she’ll be pleading with you to make love to her 34m:11s Female masturbation Women do not get turned on as soon as you touch her vagina, they don’t cum in a few minutes. They are not dick conscious like men Pg 57
Watch how your lover masturbates. It’s long and drawn out, she’ll tease you, she’ll lick her fingers and caress her fingers all over her body. She’s showing you what she wants from you and how to touch her, be intimate with her Have her hold your hand and feel how she masturbates, learn from it. She may go counter-clockwise where as you’ve been going clockwise, she might go light then heavy. 35m:30s Practise touch If you’re not dating, caress a piece of cloth or stroke your pet such that they surrender to your touch 36m:15s Women respond like a “Dimmer switch” If you’re out on a date say to dinner, by desert be sitting beside her so you can gently stroke her Most guys don’t touch a woman till the end of a date and you’re suddenly supposed to kiss or you’re suddenly reaching for her breast Women are like ‘dimmer switches’, you need to start from zero and go through all the imperceptible intervening levels of stimulation to build comfort with her, to get her fully aroused 37m:00s System for gauging her comfort level via touch Neo has a system of 13 steps to touching her, that help you gauge how to go from form first saying hello to holding her hand eventually kissing her. Each step in between is imperceptible to the next and it feels natural If you’re not touching her at all, touch her for a second then take your hand off and see if she’s comfortable with that. If her body fully relaxes into yours and she smiles at you then you know she’s comfortable with that level of intimacy with you. Touch is one of the best ways of gauging your level of intimacy with her. Is she backs away or gets tense or crossing her arms or legs or frowns, then you know you touched her inappropriately, too rough too fast too hard and then you adjust 37m:45s Touch her for 1,2,5 then 10 seconds Then you touch her for 2 seconds, then for 3, then for 5 and then 10 seconds Use these progressive levels of touching in various areas that are easy for her to get comfortable with, like her shoulders or back, to get her comfortable with you leaving your hand there
Seminar 2 – 3/26 – Kino to Kissing 17m:15s Touching guidelines : Leading her via touch
Presented in the context of escalating on a date Touch is one of the most important skills to learn You need to be touching a woman regularly on a date Practise touch, even on piece of velour whilst you’re driving! Variations of touch : o speed, o pressure, o and location You want to be man who knows how to touch women better than 90% of men out there. Most men don’t touch women till they’re having sex, in a way that’s really loving and adoring. Women hunger for this. When you get good at touching women, they’ll be able to read it from your body language If you get can get really good at touching / pleasuring her with the forefinger of your right hand you need to get as good pleasuring her with the pinkie of your left hand 19m:30s Thirteen escalation steps : From first touch to the kiss Purely a guideline Women are like dimmer switches, they like to be lead almost imperceptibly from one level to another Pg 58
20m:00s (1) Touch her for 1 second When you’re on a date, touch her for 1 second, as soon as you possibly can It may be on her hand or shoulder or wherever It may be because she says something funny, or she’s happy about something or maybe just because she’s looking at you in a really sexy way
20m:23s Calibration Throughout all of this you have to be very sensitive in calibrating her because if you touch her in a way she doesn’t like or in a place that is too sensitive or too roughly, she’ll let you know through her body language Touch is a language of the body, you’re communicating directly through her body and it will communicate directly back to you She might not even be comfortable with you touching her 1 second. Read for that through her body language : o is she comfortable and relaxed, o does she smile and laugh, o do her eyes open, o does she touch and twirl her hair o or does she tighten up and pull back o or frown? Be good at reading a woman’s body language because every step of the way though sexual & sensual mastery her body will tell you what she’s comfortable and uncomfortable with. That is hugely powerful because you don’t have to guess whether she likes you. Her body will tell you in terms of intimacy or touch o For example it’ll help you know whether to kiss her at the end of a date. Although women want to play & flirt so it’ll work if you suddenly escalate to a kiss at the end of the date, but it’s very abrupt It is key that you lead your women almost imperceptibly, in a way she doesn’t even know you’re leading her. Where it’s so part of the flow that it’s easy for her to just follow your lead 23m:01s (2) Touch her for 2 seconds After touching her 1 second touch her for 2 seconds Even this small escalation can be huge for a lot of women, so really use your calibration and senses whilst interacting with her In the beginning it can seem like you’re multi-tasking because you’re having a conversation with her and wondering when to escalate touch as well There might be a ½ hour gap in between the 1s and 2 s touch before she’s comfortable with it 24m:44s (3) Touch her for 3 seconds Next touch her for 3 seconds Count in your head From 1s to 3s it doesn’t matter where you touch her, it can be on her knees or just her forearm, however always start off touching lighter and softer first, almost like a feather touch. Or just touch her and look her in her eyes whilst talking with her and laugh 3s is actually long time to be touching her. It’s intentional and she’ll feel that sexual tension. Anytime you’re touching a woman there is already sexual tension. Whether you’re a woman or a guy, sex is always on our minds. Women want a man who can lead them into sex, where it doesn’t seem like they’re the ones leading, because if women lead then they can be called a whore. You want to alleviate as much of that pressure from them as possible, it’s all your lead Pg 59
If you’re moving too fast you don’t have to apologise. Just back off and laugh and be with her 26m:13s (4) Touch her for 5 seconds Now touch her for 5 seconds Again it might take 10 or 15 minutes while you bridge that gap from 3s to 5s while you’re hanging out together. It’s not how good you are at escalating quickly it’s about how comfortable she is. This is an underlying theme with sexual mastery, it’s about the woman 27m:12s Practise touch Knowing these techniques and practising them in a structured manner, will improve your mastery to a level most men haven’t dedicated themselves to It’s not about how many moves you know but how well you can execute a few moves and do it smoothly If you’re not with a woman practise stroking your cat, your dog, a piece of fabric etc 28m:20s Use more than just your hands to touch her You don’t just have to use your hands. You can brush by her, lean into her or be just be playful. If she says something funny, you can touch her for a second, or you can roll your knee against hers if you’re sitting next to each other 29m:55s Grow your male primal energy Be confident in your own masculinity to master touch Continually hone and grow your primal, raw alpha bad-boy masculine energy because that’s the energy that will help her appreciate your soft touch and blow her mind. If you don’t give her the context of strength and you’re being overly soft, she won’t be turned on. Be dominant and lead her Get into an exercise program, continuously develop your physical energy You need to be able to touch her powerfully yet at the same time be so soft and smooth as you ever so gently caress her cheeks You need to feel your primal energy such that if your woman is in danger you don’t hesitate for a second to protect her, put your life on the line and kick some ass. This is the energy behind your touch
32m:40s (5) Touch her for 10 seconds Touch her for 10s Every step of the way you’re gauging her By touching her for 10s you’ve reached a pretty intimate level where her body feels safe with you, trusts you Even if you’ve been going out for a while, touch her a lot more. You’ll transition quicker between each level, but still using that smooth dimmer switch approach
33m:51s (6) Leave your hand on her After 10s you want to be able to leave your hand on her, whether that be : o on the back of her hand, o knee, o thigh, o shoulder etc. Touching your knee against hers would be the same, so long as she isn’t moving her knee away Read her body Practise this structure and gauge her reaction. You don’t jump to leaving your hand on her without touching her for 3s first and making her feel comfortable Pg 60
Having this structure to guide yourself is going to make yourself a lot more comfortable because you don’t have to guess. Her body will tell you if she’s feeling uncomfortable at that moment, if she backs up. No problem, it was just too intense for her at that moment. No women will slap you for putting your hand on her shoulder for 2s. 35m:34s (7) Move your hand to her shoulders and massage her After leaving your hand on her (forearm for example) transfer your hand to her shoulder. She’ll be comfortable with this if she was ok with your hand on her arm. Again be perceptive and calibrate to her body language. This whole time you may just be talking, having dinner or watching a movie, just touch her a little bit
36m:05s Massage her shoulders Once your hand is on her shoulders, start to very gently and very slowly massage her shoulders If it’s your first date and you’re sitting across from her, get next to her if you can’t reach her shoulders. By dessert if it’s possible just say to her, “you know what I feel very close with you and I want to sit next to you/come sit next to me while we have some dessert.” Take the initiative, if you lead her that confidently most women will not say no unless you have really bad rapport Once you’ve established touch rapport, that’s almost deeper than any conversational rapport. So practising this touch is very important Don’t give her a heavy hard massage like most men would do. She’ll interpret your massage into how good you are in bed At the very least get a massage book to learn the various strokes. If not get certified in Swedish Massage, tons of hot women in those classes! If you’re not comfortable just starting to massage her shoulders just ask her, “hey would you like a shoulder massage?” Most women would not turn that down or you’ve no created enough trust & intimacy and you’re coming across as lusty and just wanting to get her into bed Have the mentality when you’re touching her that you’re just enjoying the interaction, there’s no goal of getting her into bed. Create trust with her body, there’ll be enough sexual tension later When massaging her shoulders, go slower & lighter at first. You should move as slowly as 1cm per second. Always go lighter with the pressure initially, you can go harder later It should be like you’re touching and caressing the most amazing piece of art in the world Whilst massaging her shoulders, use both your hands, your fingers, your thumb and the palm of your hand. Practise Once you’ve gone on a date say to her “I love giving you a massage, you feel so good when I can just give to you and relax you. Can I give you another massage?” Most women would be crazy to say no if you approach it that way. So you can ask her or just lead her into it, which on some level is better as it’s a little bit more alpha Once she’s really comfortable i.e. she’s sighing and moaning, closing her eyes, relaxing into your touch then you can pull her into you. Her back is close to your chest, the more body parts touching the better, the more comfortable she’ll be with you
40m:27s (8) Massage her neck From the shoulders move up to the upper part of the back of her neck, the nape of her neck. This is an erogenous zone. Remember all these transitions are separated out so they can be learned, but they are so close to one another that the escalation will seem to woman like a dimmer switch being turned up rather than a big leap. This will help you come across as being smooth and knowing what you’re doing, being sensitive to her. Use your thumb opposed to your fingers to squeeze lightly and slowly on the nape of her neck. The lighter and slower the better. This slow speed will turn her on hugely and you’ll feel it. Pg 61
You’re creating such rapid intimacy through touch. You’re doing really well if you can get to stroking her neck. By this point most women can be kissed, but most men don’t even take the time to get here before kissing her. However there are another 5 levels to this flow before the kiss 42m:15s Go back to her shoulders From the neck go back to her shoulders i.e. incorporate every aspect from before the current level 42m:25s (9) Move down and massage her hand Give her a slight arm massage or even better just slowly and lightly squeeze her biceps as you move down from her shoulders. Then move down another inch and squeeze her again. At her forearm squeeze her again. Squeeze and rub her arm Women love their arm being massaged. It shows affection and adoration which they’ll read everything into. Do this as much as you can even in a relationship, be touching her 75% of the time like David & Neo do. o It will build up the energy that’ll lead to her screaming orgasms later. Everything you do right now is tied to the level that she’ll open up to you and surrender to you From her forearm massage her hand. Massage each one of her fingers, squeeze them and take your time. She’s not going to complain that you’re massaging her too much. Read her body, she’ll be relaxing into you and smiling if she’s comfortable, so keep on going
44m:25s (10) Hold her hand You’re already massaging her hand so just stop and hold her hand This is a natural transition. Is a good way for shy guys to hold her hand because you’re not just grabbing it Once you’ve mastered this flow, bridge the transitions even faster which will increase the tension even more It’ll register with her that you’re holding hands, so subconsciously she’ll think I’m comfortable with it so I must like him 45m:15s Review 1s 2s 3s 5s 10s Leave your hand on her Massage her shoulders Massage her neck Move down and massage her hand Hold her hand
Now you’re holding hands cherish the moment Again, you’re not in a hurry to move through this flow, you’re just kicking it with her nd From the first step to the tenth step it might take 5 hrs, it might take until the 2 date or might take only a minute. Just read your woman. Having this level of smoothness of transitioning is going to serve you very well as you’re leading her whilst honouring and respecting where she’s at because her body is giving feedback every step of the way
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46m:14s Pull her closer to you Pull her closer to you and maybe switch hands so that you can pull her in closer to you whilst massaging her shoulders and neck with the other hand 46m:30s The principle of Fractionation Using the principle of Fractionation (from Hypnosis), let her hand go sometimes You’re not attached to holding her hand. So by letting go and then later holding her hand again, it makes the connection deeper because you’re not being needy or clingy. You’re not feeling the pressure to escalate, you’re just hanging out. So just pick her hand up again. You’re trying to create the same energy as you would have with a regular girlfriend when you’re just naturally holding hands together So with a girlfriend you’ve been seeing for a while, hold her hand and massage her hand more often. One way to separate yourself from a lot of other men 46m:34s Massage her shoulders again From holding her hand go back up and massage her shoulders & neck again 47m:50s (11) Caress her head and hair Caressing her head and hair is now the next level, because like holding hands this is very intimate. She has to be very comfortable with you to do this, stroking her hair is almost reserved for the bedroom So you’re holding her hand and massaging it anyway so just go ahead and massage her head first. Use a kind of octopus tentacle motion, reaching out then drawing back in again. Once again slow & lighter than you think Go back to stroking her hand and watch her melt! She’ll be putty in your hand, she’ll be sighing and moaning. Confidently lead her knowing that you’re giving her pleasure and serving her through your touch
48m:50s (12) Caress her face and ears The next level is to caress her face and ears This is very tender, most women fantasise about having their face stroked with just the tips of your fingers. Hold her cheeks and stroke her earlobe and trace the outer parts of her ear You’re already stroking her head & hair so it’s natural to progress to her face This is super erotic. Trace her inner ears If you’re having dessert by now you should be feeding her whilst striking her ears and face
49m:35s (13) Kiss her Once a woman is comfortable with you stroking her head, hair, face and ears she is ready for you to kiss her You’re stroking her face already so look in her eyes, stroke her face and move her face ever so gently in towards you. Go 90% of the way in, let her meet you the rest of the 10% so she’s participating as well, adds an amazing dynamic to the kiss
50m:20s Review 1s 2s 3s 5s 10s Leave your hand on her Pg 63
Massage her shoulders Massage her neck Move down and massage her hand Hold her hand o (then go back up to massaging her shoulders and neck) Caress her head and hair Caress her face and ears Kiss her 69m:45s Distinctions of touch Pay attention to the following (also whilst you’re kissing her with your face and rest of your body) o experiment with Speed o Pressure. Always go lighter and slower in the beginning o & Location
70m:50s Use different parts of your body Use different parts of your body. Make sure each of your fingers is as dexterous as the next finger in touching her. Practise on a cloth or on a date. A woman might prefer your pinkie tracing the outside of your ear versus your thumb. Find the magic combination of her erogenous opening Use the base of your palm a lot to apply a broader type of pressure when touching, massaging her or pulling her closer Use the top part of your forearm to explore her shoulder blades and back. Contrast this type of touch with you then coming from behind and stroking her face with your finger, to create a different kind of touch intimacy Use your face for a different type of touch. Be intimate by just putting your forehead against hers. Kiss her with your forehead, the side of your face and move it against her body Use your chest to bring her in and glide her past your chest Use your thighs to bring her in and squeeze her Practise and play with this
73m:15s Various types of stroke Short strokes vs. Long strokes Broad strokes vs. Narrow strokes Horizontal vs. Vertical Linear vs. Circular Trace patterns on her What curve on her body do you want to bring your and her attention to with your fingers? The outer part of her thighs? It’s a process of discovery. Use Neo’s foundation
79m:30s LISTENER QUESTION : Being creepy & calibration How do you get comfortable with touching her on a date? How do to become natural at it? o It’s the same as learning how to drive a bicycle, it also felt very unnatural in the beginning but once you got it, you had it and never thought about it anymore, you weren’t self-conscious about it anymore o Do not be overly conscious on a date of Neo’s structure for touching. Your priority should be to enjoy the moment and have fun o Use Neo’s touch structure to make sure you progress / escalate. If you don’t progress your touch i.e. only touching her for 2seconds, you’re not leading her in terms of intimacy, you’re not Pg 64
creating a more intense level of sexual tension in her, she’s not feeling that burn when you leave your hand on her o Neo’s structure is a smoother way of transitioning touch and physically leading her to more intimacy o Don’t worry that she’ll reject your touch escalation because you made too strong a move. Neo’s touch guidelines are designed to make the ‘jump’ between each level almost imperceptible. The difference between a 2s touch and 3s is virtually undetectable to her. So if she’s comfortable with you touching her for 2s, then she’s most likely okay with a 3s touch. It’s only when you grab her roughly or jump past several levels that you may risk losing her. Be reading her body language all the time. Once you can go from touching her for 5s to 10s you can most likely leave your hand on her o Hold her hands more. Claim her. She follows your comfort, that’s how most women work. If you’re uncomfortable anywhere then she’ll become uncomfortable. It can be a very awkward situation, but if you’re comfortable and are giving her sly smile, she’s going to want you to lead her into that level of experience where she can trust you o Be sitting beside her as much as you can on a date. Be stroking her hand, her neck. Touch her as much as possible whilst kissing her. Keep progressing like a dimmer switch, she’ll feel the intimacy increase and you’re going to feel her level of comfort increase exponentially because there’s nothing like her being comfortable with your touch that opens her up to being comfortable with you sexually and sensually How do you avoid coming across as creepy? o If she’s not comfortable with you touching her for 5s i.e. she may make the slightest pull away or slightest frown or slightest tensing up, you have to read that. It’s only when guys don’t see her signals and carry on, that they get the verbal rejection, because her body already told them o Part of touch mastery is being able to read her body and make the bridges very small. Usually when a woman is saying don’t touch me that much, it’s because a guy went from holding her hand to touching her breast etc. o You only go from one level to the next when she is fully comfortable and relaxed into you and wants more from you. When she’s super relaxed and smiling at you then she wants more o Read her body o Don’t make sex the priority goal on a date. Make your goal, how much you can draw out the most juicy connection and pleasure from her. You’ll get the sex quicker anyway, because she won’t be defensive. Give her the most incredible, sensual pleasure you can. Give, don’t be a taker o Touch is one of the most important and potent skills as a lover
93m:00s Review Review : o Touch her for 1s then o 2s o 3s o 5s o 10s o Leave your hand on her o Massage her shoulders o Massage her neck o Move down and massage her hand o Hold her hand (then go back up to massaging her shoulders and neck) o Caress her head and hair o Caress her face and ears Pg 65
o Moving her face to 90% and kissing her Model her kiss
Seminar 4 – 4/09 – Clitoral & Vaginal stimulation 06m:05s LISTENER QUESTION : Your Energy & Intention behind your Kino There’s a difference between staring and if you lean back, smile and just take them in. Very few people will think you’re rude, because it’s the energy that you’re doing it from. That’s true for almost anything There’s so many layers to touch, you can touch her & grab her, you can touch her to tease her, you can touch a woman by really slowly gliding against the bottom of her calves. Are you doing it from a place of teasing, a place of fun, of love? In order to reach the upper echelon of being an incredible lover you have to really pay attention to the energy you’re giving off In terms of energy, whatever you’re comfortable with, becomes comfortable for the group you’re interacting with. This in a way almost gives permission for the rest of the room to feel comfortable doing the same. In groups, people check with the dominant (alpha) person to see if they’re okay with it
THE COMPLETE LOVER - NEO Stage II – Connection. Phase II – Deepening Connection pg148 Deepening Connection Through Touch I have gone over touch briefly in the comfort building phase and gave you some exercises to begin to practice this fine art. Touch is one of the most essential gifts that you can give a woman so we are going to continue to expand upon the distinctions that you have gained in giving this gift to your woman. There have been scientific studies where baby monkeys when deprived of the presence of a mother, even when given food, will die. If the monkey was just given a “surrogate mother” that was a doll, it will still hold onto it for dear life and have better chances of survival. When a human baby is not touched for extended amount of time, it also dies. Human touch and connection is essential for life itself. Yet, through our societal code of conduct, there has been walls built around the physical touch. Woman not wanting to be perceived as “sluts” or “easy” will often times put up barriers and both genders lose out on getting the intimate touch and connection that we need. We all have some forms of protective shells that we have put. Touching each other has been made the unspoken taboo in our society because it somehow breaks the social decorum of keeping to ourselves and keeping us “safe” within our shells. Once this barrier is broken then innuendoes of sex pervade the interaction. There are so many woman who are deeply yearning for the touch, adoration, and love that they deserve while peering out of their shells to see whether it is safe. Most men do not know to touch, honour, or draw out the feminine divine properly, so this stalemate of touch deprivation keeps getting perpetuated. When the sexual tension of “not getting any” builds up, men will settle for groping just to release that tension of contact. Furthermore, the sensual and sexual education for men come mostly from porn which promotes “sport sex” as a standard which easily depicts woman as objects to be had, seduced, or taken. As a result, the art and finesse of touch is often lost in the translation. If men only knew how much woman hungered for tender touch, how much she can open up, and the level of sensual pleasure and multi-orgasmic bliss that can result, most men would dedicate themselves to master the art. Most single men are not getting the sex they want, so the objective of getting laid can be at the forefront of their mind. This is totally understandable. Sex is one of the most pleasurable experiences in life and most men who Pg 66
want to make lots of money have the attraction of woman as one of the primary reasons for making that money. On a deeper level however, just getting laid for most men will not fulfil them. What we really want is to be utterly worshiped as a God by gorgeous and amazing woman who surrenders and trusts us completely, but most will just settle for any sex if that’s all they think they can get. Being worshiped by a woman might seem far, far away if a man is not even getting laid. The ironic thing is, by practicing the art of touch and the principles of connection, not only will you get to make love with woman much faster, the possibility of blowing her away with the pleasure you can bring her increases exponentially. Shoot for growing into such a divine man that woman will worship you. From here, making love with incredible woman will be a delicious reality faster than you think. How do you touch a woman to adore her, bring pleasure to you both, deepen the connection, and set the foundation for mind blowing sex? Learning the art of touch begins with knowing that touch conveys the level of trust and connection that you are developing with her. The key is not to tone yourself down, but to funnel all the energy, passion, and desire that you have for her into the potency of a soft glide of your fingers across her back. First, get clear about whether you truly like this woman enough to play at this level, because otherwise you would be faking it and doing both of you a disservice. As you become more and more the embodiment of a complete lover, you are worthy of being with woman who you can be proud to be with, who you truly adore, and who really makes you happy. Even if you are not sure in the moment, decide to choose her fully and have the energy of giving your all in the moment, this way, you can find out faster whether the two of you are truly compatible or not. By playing full on, even if the interaction turns out to be a one night union, you will both enjoy the experience that much more. By choosing her fully, you can truly give her the gift of touch and adoration so that even if it doesn’t work out, you know she will have been served by that luscious energy while she has been with you. Furthermore, when you decide and choose to be with a woman fully, this way of being will quickly reveal and amplify the dichotomies, the ebb and flow, the shadows, the compatibilities, and incompatibilities. Through touch, you get to accelerate the connection between the two of you and find out the unfolding pleasures waiting for you to discover.
Finer Points in the Art of Touch I will now go over some of the mindsets and distinctions to have as you begin to understand, practice, and incorporate the finer points in the art of touch. 1 Touch Her as a Gift You Enjoy Giving If you don't feel like touching her, you probably shouldn't be with this woman, because she deserves to be with a man who would adore her naturally and you deserve to be with a woman who you are really into. As you touch her, you are growing into being comfortable in the knowing that your touch is a gift to her. Once you understand the distinctions in touch, you will no longer be groping her, taking from her as you touch her, nor touching her with only sexual innuendos. You are going to begin touching her in a way that is naturally pleasurable for you because you enjoy the sensations that it brings you all the while knowing that she is receiving incredible pleasures as well. 2 Stroke Her as You would a Cat How would you stroke a cat without it running away? Stereotypically, you can be rough with a dog. It will come to you consistently and you can use lots of pressure and forceful play in petting it. A cat’s different. Even if it wants to be stroked by you, it might be circuitous about it. If you approach it too directly it will run away. If you start too rough, it will bolt or even scratch you. Pg 67
Use this metaphor for a woman. When you touch or stroke your woman, approach slowly, gently, softly, and with no sudden movements. Be intentional in your touch. Feel into what parts of her is relaxing into you and whether to use broad or short strokes. Also notice the speed of your touch, the rhythm of your touch, and how to use your body as part of the touch. Be tender and careful at first and you can always increase the speed, pressure, and passion as she is “purring” into your touch. 3 Touch Her as if You have All the Time in the World Even if the touch is brief, the sense of timelessness can linger with her if you touch her with presence. If you can use your touch to lead her out of her mind, the busy day, and the stress and tension of life into a realm of timeless pleasure, then you will become a haven for her. She will naturally open and be drawn toward you in co-creating more pleasure with you. Go slower than you think you can go. Be languid and relish the ways you touch her. Be sensuous and have touching her become a new hobby for you. If you have ever played video games for hours, you can turn her into the ultimate game with new hidden realms and levels to discover all the time. With this mindset, you can explore just the tip of her forefinger with your fingers and enjoy that ecstatic sensation for half an hour. This is the level of timelessness that you will be growing into. The way you touch her will convey to her what kind of a lover you are in bed, so touch her with the care, adoration, and tenderness as if you are already lovers. She will feel the sensuousness of your touch and be curious to find out how much more deeply and pleasurably you can touch her as she opens to you. Touch her to show her how you would lavish her body all night, slowly unfolding every petal of her essence into eternity. 4 Touch Her as much as You Can When she says something funny, touch her as a way to connect. When she exhibits an amazing quality, touch her as a reward. When she is tense, give her a massage. When she feels a bit stressed, pull her toward you and hold her. If you are having dinner, sit next to her and stroke her hair to add to the pleasure and sensations from the food. If you are standing at the checkout counter, circle her lower back gently to arouse her. If you are watching a movie together, massage the nape of her neck and circle up to her ears. You get the idea. Touch her as often as you can in as many ways as you can. Get creative. Touch her and connect with her through touch as if it is as natural as breathing. This deepens and accelerates your level of intimacy considerably. Use your sensory acuity to gauge whether she is comfortable with you touch. If she tenses at your touch, just back off. You might be doing it too roughly, she might perceive an ulterior motive, or she might just be super sensitive. Don’t force it, most woman are hungry for touch, so if you learn the finer points of how to give her what she desires so deeply, you will become an amazing gift for her and she will give back to you in more ways than one. 5 Practice Makes Perfect As I mentioned earlier, touch your woman as much as possible. Experiment touching your woman with different strokes, pressure, location, speed, fingers, positions, etc. The more you practice, the more “technical” aspects of touch will become the “art” of touch. The more you practice, the better you will be able to feel into where and how she wants to touched and where she wants to be lead. The more you practice, the more creative you can be with your touch. The more you practice, the more your touch will flow as you touch her. Practice and experiment with your woman or different woman every chance you’ve got. She will love the attention. Even if she is not around, practice increasing your skills by touching anything you can get your hands on, cats, dogs, fabric, friends, yourself, furniture, etc. Take a massage class to learn various strokes and various systems of touch. I met one of my amazing exgirlfriends while I was getting certified in Swedish massage. If you learn massage, not only will you be mastering the fine art of touch, the female to male ratio will be way in your favour, and you are already getting Pg 68
naked together. If you put the time into mastering the art of touch, you will be rewarded for the rest of your life, especially with a woman who will recognize the rare gem of a man you are who can be so strong in his presence and so skilled in drawing out her feminine essence through touch. 6 Use Your Touch to Bring Her Back to Her Feminine In the modern day, there can be a lot going on in a woman’s mind. There are tons of advertising that focuses on telling her where she isn’t enough. She can also be under a lot of stress because of the need to apply her masculine skills of making it happen in this world rather than just flowing in her feminine essence. So the question in the forefront of your mind should be “how can I allow her to open even more to the incredibly “radiant, luscious, and divine feminine that she is through my touch?” The proper touch is an incredible gift for woman because it allows her to sink back into her body in a pleasurable way. When she feels pressure and stress, it is not pleasurable to be in her body, so she might feel cranky and eat, drink, shop, or go to the movies just to escape that unpleasant sensation. The gift you can be giving to your woman through touch is that you can be bringing her back into her body pleasurably. Relaxing into your touch can help the stresses from her day melt away. Her stress can be like butter melting under the sunshine of your touch. You then become an anchor for her to remember her feminine radiance. You will become an oasis for her to relax into her feminine divine. She will then be magnetically drawn to be with you, play with you, and experience pleasure with you. You will be a solid rock that she gets to lean on, and she will appreciate and open up to you in amazing ways including the ecstasy that the two of you will co-create during love making. 7 Find Out Her Sensitive Spots Every woman is a universe onto herself. Every woman is different in terms of where she is particularly sensitive in her body. There are erogenous zones that exist in the most unexpected places and you are the treasure hunter who gets to unveil these treasures as you touch her. Touch her often and in many different places. It might be the inside of her forearm that sends shivers up her spine. It might be gently stroking the side of her knees that makes her hot. It might be when you gently brush past the side of her neck that she swoons. It might be touching the backside of her earlobes that she gasps. Begin by noticing where and how you touch her that brings perhaps a smile, a slight tremor, shallower or heavier breathing, blushing, eye flutters, and moans. Usually when you come upon a sensitive spot or a great way to touch her, there is a slight change in her expression where she wants to soak in the moment more. Pay attention and explore that spot and amplify the sensation of pleasure in that part of her body. Be an explorer and find her secret code and then give her that pleasurable combination through your touch. 8 Be Creative in How You Touch Her Be creative in the areas you take time to explore and touch in your woman. Some of the main areas to explore are: sides of the neck, cheeks, back of the neck, all over the head, arms, armpit, elbow, where the forearm connects to the biceps, hands, individual fingers, the lower back, stomach, inner thighs, outer thighs, butt, calves, feet, each toe, and ultimately anywhere on the body where she might not usually get a lot of attention. Do not make this sexual, but make it extremely sensual. Make love as much as you can with your touch. Penetrate her with your touch instead of with your penis. As you discover different areas, explore various types of strokes. Go in circles, horizontally, vertically, or in a pattern. Glide past her skin with broad and short strokes tracing with just the tips of your fingers or with the fullness of your hands. Experiment with varying pressures, speeds and play with deep kneading, rhythmic movements, one hand, two hands, your body against hers, your face and lips as a tool for touch, and be creative with your hands as they dance on her skin. There are infinite Pg 69
variations on how you get to explore the vast universe that is your woman, so take the time and have fun cherishing and adoring her body in all the possible ways imaginable. 9 Romance Her with Your Touch Almost half of all books sold in the US are romance novels. That means if you combine all the subjects from psychology, automotives, fiction, fashion, computers, spirituality, business, etc. they barely equal the sales of romance novels. There is a deep desire within woman to be romanced. Within these novels the premises are timelessness, passion, incredible settings, emotional risks, broken hearts, love through extraordinary circumstances, sensuous exploration, dramas of love, etc. Within all of these, there is a common theme of amazing men and woman coming together who express their hearts fully, who love deeply, who delve into the hidden realms of pleasure, and who risk all for the sake of love. Touch her as if you are an amazing lover waiting to sweep her off her feet. Hold her and create a protective bubble where the rest of the world does not exist for a moment. Enchant her with the way you draw her out with your touch. Risk your heart through your touch. Express your passion for her thorough your touch. Show her your sensitivity through your touch. Play it up, be dramatic within the range of gentle caresses to passionate claiming through your touch and be the romantic hero who she so desires. 10 Touch Her as if You are Already Lovers If you assume that both of you are already lovers, the energy that you bring will be totally different. If you usual sit across from each other at dinner, then perhaps you might want to sit next to her since you are already lovers and you want to adore her with your touch. When you are sitting with your lover all the formalities are gone, you just want to be close and shower them with your attention. Ask yourself the question, “how would I touch her without saying a word that shows her that I absolutely adore her?” With this mindset, the transference of energy through your touch will be palpable. Would it make a difference if you said “I adore you” in your mind while touching her? Of course it would. Playing as if you are already lovers will make the dynamic a reality much faster than you think, so why not give both of you the scrumptious gift of already deeply enjoying the pleasure of being with each other and make love with your touch. 11 Touch Her as if She Means the World to You This is the next step beyond touching her as if you are already lovers. These are all mindsets that you can practice to increase the potency of your touch. It might feel like a stretch in the beginning, but with time, it will become more and more natural to who you are, and you will naturally give more of yourself when relating with woman. Remember, giving you all to woman isn’t about what they are going to give back to you, it is about a statement of who you are. Even if nothing comes of it, you will know that you have served to draw out her feminine divine a little more just because the two of you interacted. How would you touch her if you chose her 100%? If this is the woman you cherished beyond almost anything in your life, your car, your house, your money, anything you possess, how would you touch her? How would you touch someone who you would risk your life to protect? Feel into all of these questions and transfer the feeling into your touch. Say in your head, “I choose to protect you with my life” as you touch her. If you can do this, your woman is going to melt. She won’t know why her whole body is burning to connect with you, but she will feel the impact of you choosing, adoring, and loving her on every level. Give this to her as a gift without expecting anything in return, and the rewards will be more than you can imagine.
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System for Progressive Opening through Touch Now that you have gotten some advanced mindsets and distinctions on touch, I am going to share with you one of the most powerful ways to use touch to gauge her comfort level with you from your very first meeting to exploring sensually and sexually. Most men either move too quickly (aggressive, jerk, asshole) or too slowly (timid, wimp, nice guy) with his woman. The perfect balance of leading her at just the right pace that she is comfortable with is the fine art that you are about to learn. Your woman’s body is an amazing gauge that will tell you whether you are overstepping a boundary or whether she wants to be lead into deeper explorations. Use this system as a way to serve her open to the most delicious pleasure possible. If you have the mentality of honouring her, adoring her, and drawing out her feminine divine, then you will notice her opening to your touch naturally. If you use this system just as a way to get her in bed, then I wouldn’t be surprised if she quickly picked up your agenda and became tense or uncomfortable with your touch. Every step of the way, your woman’s body will be reflecting back to you the level of trust and connection the two of you have co-created. She will only open as far as she can trust you, so continue to build the juicy and deep connection between you and use touch to deepen that connection and to serve her open to her pleasure potential. At any point, if you are getting impatient or frustrated, then you are probably putting your agenda of getting laid ahead of the focus of serving her open to her potential of feminine flow. In those moments, just take a deep breath, chill out, pull back, and take the time to look into her eyes, appreciate her in any way you can, and bring yourself back to being present. There is no hurry to get anywhere. If she is not ready to open, any forceful pushing will only make her close more. So go slow and enjoy her company while using touch to gauge, lead, and bring both of you incredible sensual delights. With this said, all the levels that I am about to introduce as you lead her with your touch are reference points. Most men are not aware of these levels so they do not transition smoothly between one to the next and woman might feel a “move” to be too fast or too sudden rather than having it feel natural. With practice, it is possible to seemingly “skip” levels, but in the beginning, play with going from one level progressively to the next to get a sense of the natural flow that this creates. Level 1 Touch Her for 1 Second This is where you get to initiate your contact with her. This can happen as soon as you meet her. Almost no woman would object to a gentle and light touch for 1 second on her shoulder. Do this when you are getting her attention, when she says something funny, when she shares something amazing, when she exhibits a quality that you appreciate, etc. The shoulder, back, arms, knees, and sometimes lower back and upper leg can be starting points for this. Level 2 Touch Her for 2 Seconds After you initiate touching her, the next time you touch her, linger for 1 second longer. Don’t push for this too fast, even though there is only a 1 second difference. Two seconds of touch can seem like an eternity for “strangers” so makes sure you are establishing enough rapport, comfort, trust, and connection. Level 3 Touch Her for 3 Seconds After she is comfortable with you leaving your hand on her for 2 seconds, leave your hand on her for just a bit longer. If you can leave your hand on her for 3 seconds without her tensing up, backing up, crossing her arms, frowning, or closing in any way, then you are on your way to creating great intimacy with her. Use your sensory acuity to calibrate her level of comfort. Back off if she is at all uncomfortable. Talk and just have great conversations without touching her again for awhile. There is no rush to get from one level to Pg 71
another. If fact, if you rush, it will backfire on you because she won’t be able to trust that you will honour her feeling and level of comfort later on. Level 4 Touch Her for 5 seconds 5 seconds can seem like a long time depending on your level of ease with each other by this point. Once again, take your time. This is not a race, it is a natural way to increase intimacy and connection with each other through touch. It shows her that you want to get closer to her, and her body will tell you whether she is ready or not. There are no hard rules in touching, but I would encourage that she gets comfortable with you touching her for 1, 2, or 3 seconds at 10 different times before you leave your hand on her for this long. Also, have fun with this, make it light and playful. There is no end goal, there is only a progressive celebration of increasing intimacy and connection. Level 5 Touch Her for 10 Seconds If she feels comfortable with you leaving your hand on her for 10 seconds, then she officially likes you. This is definitely no accident that you hand is on her, and you are essentially asking her, I like you and would like to get closer to you, and if she lets you, she is saying yes. At this point, be especially mindful of her body language. If she shows any signs of discomfort and tension, then you should back off a bit. Touch is such a connection accelerator that she might be taken by surprise by how much she feels connected to you and there might be a slight recoil before going deeper. Once again, be mindful and honour where she is at and keep in mind that you are here to serve her open to the delicious flowing Goddess within her. Level 6 Leave Your Hand on Her This is where you leave your hand on her for more than 10 seconds. By this point you will have created enough rapport with her for her to feel comfortable with you in her space. She likes you enough and trusts you enough to let you touch her consistently. Good places to leave your hand on her are on her shoulders, legs if you are sitting, or the back of her hand. If she lets you touch the back of her hand for this long, then you can probably hold her hands. If you want an alternative way to smoothly transition to holding her hands, progress through the next three levels. Relish this moment. It feels amazing to be able to bridge the space between the two of you with touch. Your heart might be pounding, she might be blushing, and there can be a lot of heat and passion generated just from this. Incorporate this level of touching into your conversations, powerful questions, and deep sharing that the two of you are engaging in. This level of touch will accelerate the depth that you have already co-created with her and will add an amazing layer of deliciousness to your connection. Level 7 Massage Her Shoulders If she feels comfortable with you leaving your hand on her, she will usually feel comfortable with you giving her a massage. Sometimes, you can start with offering a woman a massage and the timeframe for previous levels can be shortened because she will already be comfortable with you touch. Either way, when the time is right, especially if she is already comfortable with you leaving your hand on her, leave your hand on her shoulders and see if she can relax into your hands being there. If she is comfortable with your hands on her shoulders, then begin moving your fingers slowly and gently massage the Trapezius muscles between her neck and shoulders. Move slower and lighter than you think in the beginning, because you can always increase the pressure and speed later. You can also just ask her whether she would like a massage, although I have found that an “impromptu” massage that just “happens” usually creates a more sensually charged dynamic. Most men err on the side of going too fast and too hard when giving a massage. Start as if you are stroking a feather or the pedals on a flower. Initially, it might be helpful for you to think of this as an adoring caress rather than a massage. The intention is to help her relax and feel good in her body and to do so without any sexual Pg 72
innuendo. Keep your intention on helping her relax into your touch. Receive pleasure by knowing that you are creating an incredible experience for her, and feel the increasing connection and intimacy that results. I would encourage you to take a course or at least get a book on massage and begin to familiarize yourself with the art of touch. Play with massaging her Trapezius muscles between your thumb opposed to your forefingers and middle finger. You can also use just your knuckles, just the thumb, stroking with the forefinger and middle finger, holding and putting pressure on a tense point, using your forearm, or any creative techniques that you can learn or create. Remember, go slower and lighter than you think in the beginning. You are trying to help her relax and feel the pleasure of being in her body, not give her more pain. Level 8 Massage Her Neck The neck is a really sensitive and sensuous location for a woman. Practice transitioning smoothly between caressing and massaging her shoulders and moving seamlessly to her neck. Perhaps one hand can still be massaging her shoulders while the other hand glides slowly to nuzzle her neck between your thumb and the rest of your fingers. Gently and slowly “squeeze” the nape of her neck moving from the base where the neck connects to the shoulders up to where her neck meets her hair. Once again, begin softly and apply more pressure when she fully relaxes into your touch. Often, when you reach the neck, your woman might let out soft sighs, gasps, or even moans because it feels so good. Take your time indulging in giving her these great sensations. When she feels this good, and you are the cause of these delightful feelings, she will automatically feel more open toward you and any deepening conversation will have even more impact. Level 9 Massage Her Hands When you have taken the time to massage her shoulders and neck and she is thoroughly enjoying the process, she will have reached a certain level of trust, openness, and relaxation that is usually reserved for more intimate encounters. Honour and appreciate her for the fact that she has chosen to open this far with you and use this energy to continue to amplify the pleasure that you can lead her into. Take your time and linger at this level of touch intimacy for as long as you want. After a neck and shoulder massage, you can simply pull her into you and hold her. When the timing is right, you can begin to gently massage down her shoulders to her biceps and forearms, moving ever so slowly and tenderly as you hold her close to you. Imagine that you have all the time in the world and that you are admiring one of the most amazing pieces of art and that you get to give this living art the most exquisite pleasure you can muster. You can move from the forearms and give the wrist area some attention. Most woman are very sensitive at the wrists and this is an erogenous zone that often does not receive much attention. From the wrist, you can move onto the palms of the hand using circular motions with your thumb as well as up and down strokes to caress her hands. When done properly, many woman consider a hand massage and a foot massage right up there next to an orgasm, so be generous with your attention to her hands. You can also massage each finger individually spiralling upward, pulling, and caressing each finger before returning to the palms of the hand. Level 10 Holding Her Hands This transition is really natural when you have spent say the last five to ten minutes massaging her hands. You are essentially already holding her hands when you are massaging them. As you finish massing her hands, take a moment to stop the movements and hold her hand in yours and breathe into the sensation of the contrast of the movement of massage to the stillness and the charged moment within the stillness of holding her hands. If you are still sitting apart from her, move her and hold her close to you while holding her hand. Relax your grip, just hold her hands gently and let the realization that the two of you are intimate enough to be holding hands sink in. This is a delicious moment that should be cherished. You can soak in the silence of the moment, look deeply into her eyes, bring her head to lean on your shoulders, or anything that celebrates the moment. Pg 73
Sometimes letting go of her hands to massage her some more before taking her hands again adds to the potency of the moment. Play, have fun, and enjoy. You have all the time in the world to relish the eternity of this moment. Level 11 Caressing Her Head and Hair In the deepening connection phase you are deepening through touch, emotions, and conversations. Once you have reached the physical deepening of holding each other’s hands, the emotional and conversational depth can naturally deepen. Do not become overly focused on any one arena. Rather, feel into and lead her into the natural balance and depth of touch, emotions, and powerful conversations. The levels of touch do not “exist” in reality, they are simply useful reference points that can help you navigate through the mystery that appears to be woman. Each level includes the one before it so transition smoothly back to earlier levels to create the most melodious symphony with your touch. Once the two of you feel comfortable holding each other’s hands, you can venture into more intimate areas of touch. After you can hold her hands, let go occasionally and continue to touch, massage, and caress her tenderly when the moment seems right. From the shoulders, you can transition to the neck, and then to her head perhaps gliding past the top of her ears and using jelly fish tentacles like strokes to massage her head. A woman’s head is another erogenous zone that can be used to elicit so much pleasure. Many times a woman will roll her eyes back in bliss when given the proper head massage. As you massage her head, you can caress her hair tenderly, taking your time to enjoy the texture and softness of her hair. When the moment is right, you can contrast the light strokes with a gentle pull at the roots of her hair before returning to the head massage. Transitioning between the shoulder, neck, head, and hair can lead to hours of sensual enjoyment of each other while you are having dinner, watching a movie, driving in the car, walking down the street, or even while dancing. Once again, practice makes perfect and I doubt your woman is going to complain as you fine tune this art. Level 12 Caressing Her Ears and Face Once your woman has fully opened into your incredible touch up to this point, you can move from the head massage to gently tracing the shape of her outer ears to caressing her inner ears as well as exploring her ear lobes and underneath her ears. The ear is another erogenous zone for a woman and deserves enough time for proper exploration. Many of these areas will be gone over again in the foreplay section as you incorporate them into sensual and sexual play. Familiarize yourself with these areas as much as possible and turn the technical aspect of touch into the art of touch and a part of who you are in your ability to co-create as much pleasure as possible with your woman. By the time she is comfortable with you exploring her ears, she will probably be putty in your hands. She probably can’t remember the last time a man was so skilled in leading her into relaxing into such exquisite pleasure. Just when she doesn’t think it can get any better, you can gently move from her ears to gliding the back of your hands across her forehead and face before switching to use the soft pads of your fingers to stroke her cheeks. Pause to just hold her cheeks tenderly before perhaps moving your fingers to trace her lips. Level 13 The Kiss In most cases, if a woman lets you stroke her head, hair, and ears, she is willing to let you kiss her. If she enjoys your touch as you stroke her ears and face, then she usually can’t wait to kiss you to deepen the connection. Trace her forehead and face gently with your fingers, and then pause to hold her face lightly in your hands. This is the perfect moment to look deeply into her eyes and move your lips toward hers. Listen to her body language with all of your being and see if she is tensing up, moving away, frowning, or closed off in any way versus, blushing, smiling, opening, and closing her eyes in the preciousness of the moment as your lips meet. As you hold her face gently in your hand, move toward her lips 90% and allow her to Pg 74
meet you for the last 10%. If she does not come forward, then pause for 2 seconds to increase the sensual tension before you meet her lips the rest of the way. If you have touched her with finesse, she will really want to kiss you, so do both of you a favour and kiss her. I will go over the kiss in even more details in the profound intimacy phase as well as the rest of the touch progression that leads to more sexual exploration in the foreplay section. The same amount of care will be shown when you progressively lead her at her comfort level to exploring more sensual and sexual areas that can bring both of you incredible pleasure. In the meantime, have fun with the levels of touch that I have laid out for you. Go over these in your head and play with them with you date. If you are already in a relationship, surprise your lover, girlfriend, or wife with your newfound ability to touch them in ways and places that they have secretly yearned for and they will thoroughly appreciate, adore, and want to tear your clothes off for it. Remember, the levels are only reference points. They are like training wheels on your bike that can help you learn to successfully lead your woman to the sensual opening that she desires. If you use these levels too much as a technique, then you will turn the interaction with your woman into something mechanical rather than organic. The levels are filters that will help you to see if you are moving too fast or too slow, whether your woman is ready to be lead to a more intimate area of touch, and to smoothly transition your touch with artistry. Keep the intention of serving her open to her most delicious feminine flow. This means that if it feels amazing to just hold her hands for the next 3 hours, then that’s what you should do and enjoy the time that you share together. This is only the beginning. The longer you are in relationship, the deeper the touch can go. The levels I have mentioned can be an amazing way to keep the connection alive and passionate. In fact, even if you have already made love, you can use the levels as transitional reference points that “warm her up” in a smoother and more sensual way than she has ever experienced. Touch her as often as you can to continue to ignite the juicy fire between the two of you. The more your woman feels adored, the more she will want to please you and the more open and blissful your sensual and sexual explorations can be.
Action Steps for Deepening Connection Aren’t you excited? It’s time again for action! This is where the rubber meets the road and you get to apply everything that you have learned so far in this phase. Here is a review for all the actions that you have been instructed to take. 1. You are making eye contact with 20 woman a day, saying hello to 10 of them and starting a conversation with 3 of them as well as talking with 2 new groups of people for 5 days a week. That’s 15 woman a week who you are talking to. If you want to get better at being a complete lover even more quickly, talk to 30 woman a week. I’m not asking you to do anything that I haven’t done, so decide to do it and just do it. 2. You are asking for the numbers of the woman that you find attractive. If the connection is great, then you can see if they are free in the moment to hang out more. 3. Whichever way you move into the connection stage with her whether on a later date or in the moment, you found 3 things you have in common, asked questions to deepen your understanding of her interests, shared an experience with the mastery of a story teller, and touched her at least once. 4. Now, share even more exciting stories as well as your visions and dreams with her and ask her powerful questions like “what fulfils you?”, “what inspires you?”, “what’s important to you?”, “what do you get to express by doing this?”, etc. Also share experiences that were challenges that you have overcome. Pg 75
5. Using all the distinctions that you have gained in the art of touch, lead her through the 14 “levels” of touch and kiss her. Yes, practice makes perfect in touching and in kissing your woman, and if you have kept the intention of honouring and drawing out her feminine divine, then both of you are going to have a great time. Keep in mind that this whole book and all its exercises are to be used in genuinely getting to know your friends, family, date, girlfriend, and wife at a deeper level, not as a manipulation to get woman into bed quickly. If you have no interest in getting to know a woman, then you are doing yourself and the woman and huge disservice in just trying to get her into bed because even if you do, you will feel empty and unfulfilled. It would be like winning a prize you didn’t really want, like winning a Geo Metro when you really wanted to win the Ferrari. Find a woman who you feel real attraction and have genuine interest in. If you are starting conversations with at least 15 woman a week, you will easily find a woman who you are really attracted to. If you ever get stuck in your house just “thinking” about mastering this material, then get out, walk around, and go start a conversation with random woman. It will get your juices flowing and prime the pump for practicing every aspect of your growing abilities as a complete lover. Remember, practice makes perfect so go out there and just do it! Makes sure you are playful and have tons of fun leading woman into delicious and sensual touches and kisses that will blow their mind.
PICKUPPODCAST.COM Sensuality and Finger Play It starts fairly innocent; as we continue talking our arms settle next to one another's touching. I resist the urge to break contact and we remain that way for what seems like an eternity. Up until that point, the conversation was fairly casual. However, I couldn't stop looking deeply into her eyes and at her beautiful skin. I finally decide to take a small risk; I put out my hand palm up in an expecting way. Without words she knew, she was compelled to place her hand into mine. I hold her hand as our conversation becomes slower and more personal. My fingers almost without conscious control begin to stroke her fingers and her fingers respond in kind. Moments pass and staring into her eyes becomes too much; I lean in to kiss her. Sensuality is more than being sexual. Most men see escalation as talking, kissing, then sex. The problem is that there are intermediary steps that most men don't know how to do. Creating a level of intimacy and sensuality without being sexual is an important step. Escalation is not a ladder to be climbed literally going step by step; it is a dance, an improvisation that in fact is one of the most beautiful creative experiences that two people can share. And just like any art form, there is a medium; that medium is sensuality. For me, I find that sensuality has three components: the tone and rhythm of your voice, sustained eye contact, and touching. The first two are things that are best taught in person with someone leading you through what comes off creepy and what is sensual. It is always interesting and quite comical in our workshops when the men and women in our class come together to learn how to flirt with their eyes and voice. However In this article I want to focus on a certain kind of touching, I call it "Finger Play" Have you ever seen a baby experience the world around him? The first step after seeing what he wants is to go touch it. After touching it, there it goes straight into the mouth. I have a similar experience with breasts ;-) Seriously though, I think we often discount how powerful a sensation it is to touch with our hands and to have our hands touch someone else's hands. For most people intimate touch starts with the hands and the mouth. Kissing is the obvious beginning of that; however before we go in for the kiss more intimacy should be established. One way is to start with holding and touching each other's hands. To initiate finger play I start with some incidental touch. Our arms or legs at some point usually touch accidentally. From there I just don't pull away. If she pulls away, then I continue creating a connection through our conversation and let it happen again in a bit. After a few minutes of incidental touch, I put my hand out Pg 76
palm up toward her expecting her to put her hand in my hand. This almost never fails; if there is any amount of comfort built between you she will put her hand in yours. From there hold her hand for a minute or two and then start playing with her fingers, caressing and touching them. Creating a level of sensuality is an important step in escalation for men. Using finger play on the way to being more sexual and intimate, kissing, etc, will help you create a smoother transition from talking into something more.
MidastheMadHatter wrote : This is great Dan. while I think it is good to think of escalation as ladder as a learning concept, the idea of it being a dance is a great way to take kino and escalation to a smoother zone.
Ep. #2 Toolbox (PODCAST) I only made notes from 27min:44sec to 17min:05sec of the podcast, which was relevant to kino. Rest of the podcast was on body language, banter, storytelling and indirect vs. direct. All about escalating from platonic to intimate ... Kino or touching Need Kino to escalate to go from the friends zone / fun guy to the guy who's attracted and a sexual being. The physical/sexual connection is what is lost on a lot of guys, even though they may have the banter & storytelling down, getting a positive reaction from her. They've been talking for hours and then at the end of the evening she has to go, the guy suddenly tries to go in for the kiss. This is awkward, weird and just plain incongruent. A couple of quick easy tips : Start touching early and often. A simple way to do that is use your hands when you talk and engage the person. Then the safest place to touch her (or anyone) is on the forearm i.e. from the wrist to the elbow, touching her on the outside. This helps her to feel the physical connection that you have not just the verbal connection from the banter / storytelling. Kino also keeps her attention, especially in the first 10-15 seconds of the interaction. You'll see this with any guy who is comfortable with women, he is touching them and they're reciprocating. This is the ultimate comfort and reinforces a strong connection. Just need to practise this by going out and doing it. It also demonstrates to her that you are very confident and comfortable with women which is hugely important. Women are always looking at pre-selection i.e. for a guy who's already good with women. To be good & comfortable with one woman you have to be that way with all women, in fact with all people you interact with.
Ep. #20 Vin DiCarlo Interview Kino Breakdown (PODCAST) I only made notes from 0min:00sec to 17min:05sec of the podcast. After that they just talk about the actual specific kino actions in the Ladder as per DiCarlo’s ebook covered in my next chapter. I’ve included any additional information on the Ladder mentioned in the podcast, in the next chapter, so the info is all in one place for easy reference.
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Eye Contact Eye contact isn’t Kino but it is the first part of the Escalation Ladder. It’s not good to touch a girl (or grind on her from behind) if she hasn’t seen you yet!
Some Basics about Kino Firstly, physical escalation is more of a conditioning process than anything else. Has very little to do with attraction or how a girl likes you. If you go through these steps correctly, all you’re doing is conditioning her to your dominance and your ability to touch her. Through that it will cause attraction. People respond 90% of the time on a Stimulus-Response basis. Like grinding on a girl from behind without her seeing you first, 90% of the time she’s going to reject you, because every other time it happened it’s been some weird guy from the club. Woman have predictable behaviour to various stimuli, so by tailoring those you can produce the responses they want i.e. getting a hug from good people produces good feelings versus a total stranger grinding on her from behind causes creepy feelings. Secondly, Kino actually causes attraction, if you’re doing it the right way. It happens through biochemical processes, studies have shown that feel-good chemicals are released when a person is touched. It happens through backward-rationalisation i.e. I ended up holding this guy’s hand so that means I must have liked him. It happens through creating sexual tension, establishing dominance. So all these things are working for you when you master kino. All these things are going to increase attraction. Thirdly, there are two forms of Kino, very important to know the difference between the two. Incidental Kino and Overt Kino. o Incidental Kino is out of circumstance, e.g. if you’re sitting down and the side of your thigh is touching the girl’s thigh sitting next to you, you’re touching but for another reason. It’s incidental as you’re sitting next to each other. There are no romantic intention behind it. Same as if you’re playing thumb war with a girl, you’re touching her hand, but doing it to play thumb war. So kino becomes the secondary effect out of what is happening. o Overt Kino is the kino that actually escalates. Something like holding her hands, giving her a hug, kissing etc. These all have built in romantic intention and when you do these overt things, that is actually moving up the Ladder. o Moving up the Ladder is deliberate, whereas as getting comfortable on that particular step of the Ladder is incidental. Fourthly, a woman is more likely to accept these Overt forms of kino if you’ve already established Incidental kino beforehand and made her comfortable with that type of contact. Incidental is to establish comfort so that you can progress to the overt after the Overt you’re on another step of the Ladder so to speak. Fifthly, kino works better the less attention you draw to it, e.g. if you touch a girl somewhere you don’t ever want to be looking where you’re touching. You want to use conversation to engage her as you’re escalating. That minimises the impact of intruding on her psychological space, you’re not causing her to start thinking about it or questioning it. You’re not even giving her a chance to respond to it, you’re just doing it. It also comes from a confidence perspective. If you’re not confident then you’ll need to look where you’re touching her. If you are going to kino, then kino with commitment, don’t go halfway creep yourself out then go back, don’t do the hover method of kino. Touch her confidently if you’re going to touch her. Do it like you mean it. If you’re going to put your arm around her, you’re doing it in a protective way so you’re not going to do it half-assed kind of hoping she doesn’t swat it away or something.
Sexual Tension What’s also important is understanding Sexual Tension. Many guys don’t, they try to play this indirect indifferent game where they have a lot of fun routines and stories etc, but they’re lacking sexual tension. So Pg 78
what they’re doing is forcing the interaction and spending 7 or 10 hours before sleeping with this girl. It’s because they’re missing this element of sexual tension, which can make your pickups happen on the average of 2 hours. Not that “normally” it does happen in 2 hours but it does illustrate what is possible, some guys don’t want it to happen in 2 hours. DiCarlo’s record is 10 minutes, but he does this as a competitive sport with his wings. The definition of Sexual Tension is the contrast between a controlled arousal state in the absence of overt physical or verbal advances. The controlled arousal state is about being relaxed without fear or nervousness leaking through. Having that sexual desire, under control, being relaxed and projecting it through your voice tone, your body language and eye contact. This is kind of like a Gunwitch thing, he talks a lot about a sexual state. Sexual tension happens when you don’t act on your sexual state in an overt way. For example doing incidental kino, creates more and more sexual tension. The sexual tension creates a response potential so that she wants the overt kino to happen. There’s a whole rhythm to the Ladder, you’re constantly going back and forth between Incidental and Overt. You’re building the sexual tension, she wants it, then you escalate. The only important thing about hypnosis that you need to know about pickup is that hypnosis happens when there’s a dominant and submissive person interacting. The dominant person goes into some kind of state and the submissive person takes that state over. In pickup you want to lead her, dominating over her and combined with you having that sexual state, she’s going to follow that state and pretty soon if you do enough of that stuff she’s going to be in that sexual state with you. She’s going to be ready to go. Have you ever noticed when interacting with a dominant person and they’re in bad mood, you get into that same bad mood? That is the same phenomenon. In summary if you have this sexual state and you start interacting with the girl in a dominant way and you lead her, she’s going to get into that state with you.
How the Ladder Works The way the Ladder works is you go Incidental, build the Tension, then you go Overt and release, there’s this tension-release rhythm that goes back and forth as you escalate up the Ladder. So the Ladder is a step by step process designed to provide a smooth escalation with no significant jumps that would cause her to object. At the same time it doesn’t have any redundant steps that would slow the process down, it’s very efficient. You’re never static, always escalating but at the same time it’s perfectly calibrated for everyone to use so they don’t have to worry about scaring the girl. The way the Ladder works, is I’ve broken down the initial part of the Ladder into 3 classes. Class 1 - Hands and Arms It makes sense because it’s very easy to shake someone’s hand or touch them on the arm. If you walk by someone and you touch them on the arm they’re not going to freak out. Class 2 - Torso and Legs Class 2 is something I can demonstrate very easily, if someone you don’t really know walks up to you and touches you on your stomach as they start to talk to you, that will freak you out, same as if they touch your leg. It just feels different, because people are more protective of those areas than they are of their hands and arms. We’re used to grabbing people’s arms or socking our friends on the arms, woman are used to having the jewellery on their wrists examined Class 3 – Face and Neck Just as touching someone on their stomach is a lot more invasive than their hands, so is touching their neck or face. So the Ladder takes you through the 3 classes in order, going Incidental Overt, Incidental Overt. Pg 79
Hair is included in class 3, although maybe it’s a little questionable. But there are woman that freak out when you touch their hair so that’s not something you want to do right off the bat. There are certain girls that will do weird things with hair because they want the attention in which case it’s okay. There is a rule with the Ladder that you can skip levels.
MYSTERY METHOD INTERVIEW SERIES 1-19 My notes/transcript from these tracks
Vol. 11 Physical Escalation & Kissing (Sinn & The Don) (PODCAST) Track 1 Must kino as soon as possible. Must start touching her (& everybody in the set) within 30 seconds. If you do, she’ll assume you’re a touchy person, otherwise it’ll just feel weird to her if only started later on Doesn’t mean it’s sexual or that you have to feel creepy when you start touching her. It won’t come across as something sexual that you’re doing. You can easily, o just reach over & touch a girl on the arm, o or if she say’s something silly shove her away, o if she says something cool, you can hug her for a second. It shouldn’t be sexual in the beginning, it should be playful. You want to either tap them or claw them in when you open the set to make sure you get the right amount of kino. The claw is when you take your hand and you place it on their shoulder in a motion kinda like you’re holding a cup, but you’re holding their shoulder and turn them towards you. This is a more aggressive opening move. Kino falls into 2 categories, more or less aggressive. Match your level of aggressiveness to the outcome you want. If looking for a ONS, you’re going to be a lot more aggressive, dominant & sexual early on. If looking for a Day 2 you’d be a lot slower and do just enough to let her know you’re interested in her in a non-platonic way. Kino is as much a way of screening as it is a way to escalate physically. You can use it to see how sexually aggressive a girl is if she’d be interested in a ONS for example, by seeing how she reacts to your aggressive kino i.e. slapping her on the ass and watching her reaction. By not touching her enough and early enough you will struggle to get ONS’s and will get more Day 2’s instead. The right way too kino is to touch her and as soon as she starts to get uncomfortable at all you back off. You must be aware of where the woman’s comfort threshold is and not be focused on continually trying to escalate the kino. As soon as you sense any kind of muscular tension or she starts to move away, you must move back.
Track 2 The key to escalating physical touch is for you to be the one that ends the physical contact i.e. If she got her hand on your arm and you just leave it there, she’ll be the one to take it away after a few seconds. If however you put your hand on top of hers and as soon as she starts to feel uncomfortable and wants to pull it away, you go “All right get off me.” Thus she will feel more uncomfortable not being touched by you. The Don’s system of touching : Have in mind a list of things you will do to escalate her if she keeps giving you approval and is comfortable with it. o A touch on the arm o Then a shove o The maybe hug and push her away o Then maybe thumb war with her Pg 80
o Then the TV test o Eventually the trust test Each one will involve more and more commitment from her and be a little more intimate. Write them down or put them on the phone. May take 20 minutes or half an hour, but will end in a fairly predictable result i.e. kiss close or more. Sinn’s system of touching : The first thing you do is some form of playful touching (and totally nonesexual) i.e. what you might do with kids for example, o pushing her away, o high 5’s, o tapping, o clawing, o putting her in a headlock. Then the second form of touching you do is some form of hand touching, o slap her hand, o some form of thumb crack (as taught on the Mystery bootcamp) o high 5’s. High 5’s are the best kind of kino to do early on because if she hooks her fingers when you do the high 5 (like she doesn’t want to let go), that is a blatant signal that she’s attracted to you and you can skip directly ahead to qualification. That is one of the most useful things about touching. It’s a way of figuring out where you are in the interaction. Her words can lie but her body will never lie. If she’s allowing escalation and more importantly touching you back then you’re on the correct path, even if she say’s otherwise. An important part of escalation is Compliance i.e. when you ask her to do something will she do it? If you ask her to give you her hands, does she do it instantly or does she do it slowly or ask why? You need to make sure she’s compliant. If you fail a compliant test you’re in damage control and you need to go backwards.
Track 3 Escalating (physically) is not scary because it’s not something sexual. You should escalate to find out where you are in the interaction. So no escalation step is scarier than the one before. Kissing is no scarier than holding her hand is no scarier than putting your arm around her. There are 3 steps to gauging comfort levels. o Initially it’s very innocent stuff, The shove away High 5 Thumb war LA handshake NY handshake Jive handshakes over complete bullshit, making it fun If she says something really good you reward her with a handshake, spin her around, she’s laughing Can even just pull her in closer afterwards and just leave her there. If she stays there, now you’re moving away from the playful into more intimate stuff o Then playful and fun, o Then becomes more intimate and sexual and moves into kissing, i.e. the TV test. Is done in isolation as it’s more intimate. You’re literally embracing her to get her comfortable with standing (or lying) next to you, because if she’s not she’s comfortable having you hold her, she won’t be willing to have sex with you or see you again. So in isolation with her, you say “We’re going to do the TV test. Turn around.” Have her turn around (i.e. facing away from you) to see how comfortable she is in Pg 81
this situation. Does she turn around easily or refuse to do it? When you pull her in to get close to her, does she come in easily or hesitant and jerky? When she lies up against your body (you’re holding her from behind) does she put her head on your shoulder, does she come in flat against your body? That’s good. If she’s not comfortable now, doesn’t mean she’ll never be comfortable, it just means she’s not there yet. There is no rejection in escalating, because once you sense she’s uncomfortable you’re the one to alleviate her discomfort. We do that by pulling her in and saying “Okay how many months have we know each other?” She’ll say 10 minutes or whatever. You say, “No no, a few months.” She’ll say 3 or 4 months or whatever. You go, “Okay we’re hanging out watching TV like we always do, what show are we watching?” She’ll reply. If she’s uncomfortable you push her away and say, “Okay show’s over.” If she is comfortable, you can hold a girl in a club for hour and a half. The key is to build comfort with her being in that physically intimate situation with you, the more comfort is built the more likely she’ll allow physical escalation later. If at any time she starts to feel uncomfortable, starts to pull away, you go “Okay show’s over, get off me ” and push her off you. So it’s the constant dynamic of Push Pull i.e. use kino to reward her and also make her wonder why she keeps getting pushed away once in a while. Your goal for the interaction determines how aggressive or sexual you are with the kino. If you’re looking for a date or a girlfriend, get the kino going early and keep it playful, not getting sexual that early unless you’re getting good feedback that it’s okay to keep going. If you’re pushing for a ONS you can go ape-shit and go for whatever you can get and see what happens.
Track 4 The key element to being able to escalate is being able to recognise her comfort threshold. So the amount of comfort she needs in order to escalate is what’s important. The 7 hour rule is bullshit. There are some girls you can have sex within half hour and others girls 30 hours. It’s all about recognising and respecting their comfort thresholds. You use touching to find out how comfortable she is in this moment right now, to look for escalation windows. Escalation windows are instants in the interaction where you can make a move and have her accept it i.e. if you pull in really close and say, “Oh God you smell so good I’m trying so hard not to kiss you” and she says “I don’t believe you” then you can kiss her! So physical escalation is less about hard & fast rules and more about finding and respecting her comfort levels. Once you hit her comfort threshold and she’s getting uncomfortable, the fact that you release and lean back, shows her, o You’re in control of yourself, o She can trust you, o That you probably get a lot of woman because you’re not needy or desperate and pushing things, escalating too fast, too hard. You want to aim for making your escalation as smooth as possible. Girls always talk about sex as, “It just happened”. It’s your job to make the sex just happen but without making her feel responsible for the escalation. So if you want to kiss a girl and go, “Come over here and kiss me” she’ll never do that, or if you, “I’m not kissing you” you’re building up boundaries that she’s not going to want to breakdown, because she doesn’t want to be responsible for the escalation. Comfort levels change. Just because she won’t do something now, doesn’t mean that she won’t do it 10 minutes later. Just chill out, lean back, build some more value and try again later. Sometimes you can try to kiss a girl too early, but you haven’t blown it, you’ll still get it in half an hour if you do everything right. Touching is the game. You are constantly touching her. All the routines, openers etc is just bullshit baffles brains to disguise our escalation. Occupy the logical mind to find out how much she likes us right now and what we need to do in order to get her to like us more to go further. Pg 82
Usually sets are blown because you are just standing there talking and nothing physical was going on
Track 5 Almost never happens that you pushed her away because you were doing too much kino. You’re going to fuck up more by not going for it than going for it. Being playful, getting the kino going right away is absolutely required. This doesn’t apply outside the club though. In Daygame, the general rule is don’t do anything you wouldn’t feel comfortable doing to your boss. Woman in clubs are all, at least buzzed if not drunk. Even if they are sober, they’re matching the emotional state of the drunk people around them. At night people/woman are in social mode. Escalating on a girl in the coffee shop is going to weird her out. A woman’s body can’t lie. So the moment you sense tension in her, that is the key to release and move back. So more of the important communication happens on a physical level and less on a verbal level. Studies done on babies show how their development suffers if they’re not touched. There is an innate primal human need to be touched & validated. It’s one of the ways to make someone feel comfortable with you is to touch them early on. Pick locations for Day 2’s that allow you to kino escalate otherwise you’re shooting yourself in the foot. Sitting across from her at a table in a restaurant or coffee shop makes it tough to kino. Pick a bar or someplace dark. The kiss is just the natural escalation of what you’ve done before. There’s 2 ways to kiss a girl. Arousal kissing and Comfort Building kissing. Anything done on a Day 1 in an attraction location is going to be comfort building kissing i.e. Church tongue not Porno tongue. Don’t arouse her in a place you can’t take advantage of.
Track 9 Shift gears. If you’re in a serious story about when you grew up and your pet died (some vulnerability routine) don’t then go, it’s been like 25 minutes, I need to kiss. Change the emotional direction of the conversation, tell a funny story, get her going back towards up and then do it. Pay attention to the current emotional mood of the interaction, don’t kiss her because you feel like enough time has passed and you had comfort earlier. Don’t escalate in an emotional valley (although that valley is useful because it builds intimacy). Make sure you’re escalating at the right situationally-relevant times. Make sure it’s completely natural and in the moment. The key to escalation is that you go for it. You want to always be closing (ABC). You should be constantly escalating, moving the interaction forward. Don’t get into routine junkie mode, remember that you’re not there to entertain people, get them to like you or practise your routines. You’re there to get the girl. You do that by escalating, by manning up, grabbing your balls and making a move. If she’s not comfortable with it that doesn’t mean anything other than she’s not comfortable right now, but you still made the move. Look at it from a girl’s point of view, the wussy needy guy that she hates doesn’t have the balls to escalate. So when you fail to escalate and been talking to her for an hour & a half, she starts to think of you as less than a man because she starts to rationalise why you’re not escalating on her. Or she’ll start to think there’s something wrong with her or that you don’t like her. To really build an interaction that leads to a sexual relationship you’re going to need to touch at some point, you can’t go from no touching to insertion. So you have to go through the steps. Kino escalation is like a staircase. It starts with, o playful touching in the first 30 seconds, o then hand touching, o then hand holding, o then arm in arm, embracing her, pulling her in o then kissing. Pg 83
If she’s not comfortable with any of the previous steps on the kino escalation ladder she’s not going to be comfortable with the following steps. Go through all the steps, don’t make big moves up the kino escalation staircase.
Track 10 (The Don) If I move a girl the first time, I’ll put my elbow out and we’ll walk elbow in elbow. The next time I move her, I’ll stick my hand out. There’s a big difference between the two. If she’s willing to just take my hand and walk holding my hand, there’s a pretty good chance she’ll kiss me. If I’d just done the hand initially she might not have done it if I hadn’t done the elbow first. After kissing the girl 20 minutes into the interaction in the club, other than the very rare event where you drag her into the bathroom, kissing is as far as you want to escalate. All you want to do is make her comfortable enough to leave that location. The next escalation after kissing is the bounce. Getting her from the club/bar to an after-hours eatery, your house, a friend’s house, her house, a comfort location where there’s a locking door, a seduction location. You don’t want to arouse a girl in a place where you can’t take advantage of it. The touching escalation is simply to lead to the kissing in the club. After kissing in a club, the touching escalation goes back, it resets, you’re not going to start kissing her neck, breathing in her ears, any arousal stuff. You go backwards, back to playful touching, shoving her away, putting her in a headlock, fucking with her. Then you go back up the ladder to kissing again. Then you reset it again. Very important to remember, after kissing her you may still have 2 more hours and if you’re not going home with her you’re going to Day 2 her, you better be able to keep talking and not dwell on the kiss and that super physicality. Your verbal skills must still be running simultaneously while you’re intimately kissing her. There are three things that are constantly going on, o Firstly you’ve got the Steps we go through, Opening Transitioning Attracting Qualifying Comfort Seduction Relationship o You’ve got Punish-Reward subroutine o Thirdly your Touching, your escalation These three things are consciously going on at the same time. Should always be thinking while you’re talking to a woman, where’s my touching, am I punishing-rewarding her behaviour and where am I? This goes throughout relationships to the point where you have 100% compliance you say come over and cook me dinner and she does it. Until you’re at that point, you need to follow the ladder, keep building more and more compliance. Compliance builds momentum. You can go positive-compliance momentum and negative-compliance momentum. Positive-compliance momentum leads to her wanting to touch you more, wanting to please her. Negative-compliance momentum is when a girl’s been nice to you and you negg her, or she’s trying to touch you and you push her away. What you’re doing is very clearly demonstrating to her that she can’t be nice to you because you’re punishing her when she’s nice. She’ll then stop being nice to you. However either way compliance builds momentum, but you want to make sure you’re building positive-compliance momentum so that the interaction is moving forward to whatever goal you have that night, rather than negative-compliance momentum where you’re back-pedalling and trying to get her to like you again. You want to take a holistic view of the whole thing, whereas we’re focusing on one part of the whole. Kino escalation must be synched in with the rest of your game. It’s just one component of the bigger picture. Pg 84
ROOSH VALIZADEH - BANG Chapter 2 EARLY GAME When She’s Interested …. Once she is showing interest, start with the main escalation technique: touching. While talking and showing your personality gets her interested, touching is what leads to intimacy. It also lets her know that you are a physical man who is experienced around women. How you start touching a girl depends on the venue you are at, but for now let’s assume you are a place that serves alcohol. If I am talking to a girl and she is interested (she is asking me questions), I introduce touching at around the 10 minute mark. The first touching move is where you touch right above her hip bone with one of your hands. Your first hip touch should only be for one or two seconds to probe her reaction. If she doesn’t recoil (odds are she won’t) or take great notice to your touch, wait a few minutes and then go back to the same spot for a longer, ten second touch. Then wait a few more minutes and return for a longer, half-minute touch. By the 45 minute mark, your hand should be resting comfortably on her hip. Most girls do not say anything, but every now and then you get a girl who asks, “What is your hand doing?” Your answer: “It’s on the side of your hip.” Stand firm without moving your hand until she backs away or physically removes your hand from her body. It’s very rare that a girl will move your hand away unless you introduce it when she wasn’t interested in the first place. This move tests her for any major physical issues that would prevent you from moving forward. After you pass the one hour mark, begin to explore the space: move it to the small of her back and then eventually to the top of her ass. An extension of the hip move is the double-hip move. When she says something shocking, insulting, or weird, use your hands to grab both sides of her hips and move her a little closer to you while you say something like “What?!” or “Are you serious?!” with a deep eye contact stare. Then after a couple seconds relax and let one hand go. Hip touches are difficult or impossible to pull off if you are both sitting down or in a coffee shop-type venue. In that case you can introduce touching by commenting on jewellery she has on her hands or wrist. Pretend that a piece of jewellery she has on suddenly caught your eye and touch it as you ask her what it means. Leave your hands touching her for an extra second or two longer than necessary. This move isn’t a panty-wetter on its own but will make it easy to touch her later in a more desirable environment. Touching will be very important later when we are about to go in for the kiss.
Dancing A very efficient way to ramp up touching is through dancing. Not only is dancing a good way to combat loud noise, but it’s also excellent at getting your hands all over her body and priming her for the kiss. If you can’t dance or don’t have natural rhythm then you should start learning by copying good dancers and practicing. When you are observing a dance floor, you will be able to tell who is good at dancing and who is not. Simply duplicate the moves of those who are good. Practice at home and within a couple months you will get to a skill level where dancing is able to facilitate your pick-ups. The point is not to be a great dancer, but to be good enough to use the touching benefits that dancing offers (dancing will get you to the kiss faster than other means). Because of this reason it is worth your time to learn it, especially since it’s a skill that will always be useful to you. Once you get her to the dance floor with “Let’s go dance,” start it off slow. When you look around on the dance floor, you will see that every guy loves to jam his crotch on a girl’s ass, especially when hip hop is playing, and Pg 85
while you will be doing that too, hold off on it for a little bit. Dance in your own space in front of her and continue on and off with the hip touches. After a minute or two, move a little closer and put both of your hands on her hip, letting her gyrate very close to your crotch as you face her. Then step back and take your hands off hands off her. Treat dancing like a dance of its own, where you go back and forth to build a climax. Make her wonder why you aren’t constantly on her. After a minute dancing a couple feet away from her, gradually come back and bring her hips just a little closer than before. Then step back again. Just like with verbal conversation, it will be you who paces the interaction on the dance floor; she will not be stepping back from you because you will be doing it to her first. Keep repeating this cycle until both of you are very close and your hands have explored her hips, sides, lower back, and the top of her ass. The final non-kissing move you want to do on the dance floor is to get your head very close to hers, where your cheeks are barely touching, you can feel her heat, and she’s not pulling back. It is not surprising that dancing very commonly results in a kiss within a short amount of time.
Escalating To The Kiss The more time into the interaction you are, the less critical it will be to have something interesting to say. You simply cannot sustain a relationship built on always-interesting conversation. If you’ve adopted The Vibe and ran a couple of your best routines, you will already have blown out 80% of all other guys she has met in her life based on the first thirty minutes alone. Your focus at this point will be maintenance because failure will come either from saying stupid things, getting needy, or getting cockblocked. As long as you stay relaxed and keep doing what you are doing, your odds of success will be quite good. Retain the mindset that it is her that should be proving herself instead of the other way around. She’s the one who is on display and being judged, not you. Besides getting the number, your other two options are continuing the interaction where you are at or moving it to another location. Most of the time you will be staying in the same venue, so let’s talk about that first. Since your value has already been displayed and she is interested in you, your goal will be to relax, get to know her, not say anything stupid, and most importantly, escalate. Retain the thread strategy to keep the conversation flowing while you find commonalities and ramp up touching. You want to reach a level of rapport where it feels like she’s known you for longer than she has. Your hands will be the main escalation tools. We last left one of your hands resting on the side of her hip and it should now be encroaching on the top of her ass. Don’t be scared to do this. Touching is extremely important in shortening the time it takes to get her in bed so it is something you should always be focused on. Even if all you can manage is subtle footsy games underneath a coffee table, it’s better than nothing. Touch and touch often. Another important touching move is hand holding. If you are leading her to another spot in the venue, stick your hand out right next to hers. Now gauge her return grab. If it is a weak grip where the hold would be broken if you loosen pressure, that means she does not want to currently hold your hand. Let her hand go and try again later. Once she is comfortable with your touching and starts to reciprocate with some touching of her own, she is ready for the next step: the kiss. All the ways in which humans express physical affection can be fit on a line. On one end is the hug and on the other end is penetrative sex. You’ve hugged many people in your life, probably some that you don’t like, but as you move down the line you are less likely to perform intimate acts with people you dislike. Kissing on the mouth is somewhere in the middle, an act you only do to people you have an interest in but something not serious enough to warrant a lot of thinking or analysis. It’s only one step above breathing in someone’s ear or rubbing noses. Pg 86
Chapter 3 MIDDLE GAME The First Date ….. You’ll notice I gave a way to start the date without accounting for whether you kissed her or not in your previous encounter. That’s because even if you did kiss her beforehand, you can’t just greet her with your tongue—you have to “start over” again and rebuild the energy from the last time you saw her. It’s like rePriming a pump. When it comes to the first date, the only difference that prior kissing makes is towards the end of the date, when you are most likely to get farther. ….. Remember back to discussion of the four key moves? So far we talked about two: the staring contest and the hair stroke. The next one we are going to do is the armin-arm move. Perform this move on the walk over to the second venue. Simply stick out your elbow to the side your date is on and form a hook for her to grab. Most girls know what this means and make an instinctual response by putting her arm through yours. If she doesn’t pick up on your cue then very gently nudge her with your elbow and make an exaggerated throat-clearing sound. If she still doesn’t get it, which will be rare, say how your mom is one-fourth French and she taught to walk arm-in-arm from a young age. It’s not critical to keep the arm-in-arm hold for the entire walk to the second venue, but do it for at least a couple minutes. While this move seems innocent on the surface, it’s a intimate gesture that that is just shy of hand-holding. …..
Changing Gears The fun starts at the second venue, which you want to serve alcohol in seating arrangements that make it possible to sit right next to her. A comfortable couch or booth is preferable. You don’t want any physical space separating you two ..… The fake palm read sets you up for the single arm move. Put your arm behind her and gently wrap around her lower back, ending at her waist. This is a very obvious move that basically says, “Hey, look at me, I’m making a move!” but remember our physical moves do not have to be subtle. If she is engaging you on this date and not answering her phone every five minutes, not burping loudly, and not recoiling away when you make any type of physical contact, she will welcome the single arm move and get ready for you to kiss her. Girls who don’t want to be kissed, on the other hand, will act fidgety, nervous, distracted, and will keep reminding you of the time because she has to go soon. If your arm can’t get through because she is sitting too far back, just ask her to move up a little so you can put your arm through. It’s that simple. By now you’ve both had a couple drinks so sitting back with your date is just the natural thing to do. You know how in the movies guys do the exaggerated yawn to get his arm around a girl? You can do that too for a laugh. It doesn’t matter how you do it as long as you do it. Now your hand will gently cup the side of her ass for the rest of the night.
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LOVE SYSTEMS ROUTINES MANUAL V1.1 www.LoveSystems.com
Physical Escalation Routines Physical escalation is the process of touching a woman and making her used to physical contact with you. We start touching initially out of social playfulness and move steadily towards more intimate sexual touching that ultimately leads to sex Touching should start at the very beginning of the conversation, and intensify as your emotional connection intensifies. The level of touching normally goes through a progression. For example: playful shoves and handshakes, then sitting close with legs touching, then hand holding, then kissing, then embracing, and so on We put these routines in the Attraction chapter, because most can create the hot/cold, push/pull, punishment/reward dynamic that can help get a woman interested in you. However, physical escalation is a process that starts within seconds of meeting a woman, and continues right up until sex. Here are some sequentially escalating physical escalation tactics to build your arsenal:
Pushing Any sort of pushing and playful shoving is a great way to initiate your initial touching. If a woman says something silly, sarcastic or lame, laugh and push her on the arm or shoulder.. gently Important: Make the touching playful and fun. Otherwise you will creep her out. Always be smiling when you do this As an opener: This can also be used as an opener. Simply push a girl gently and look away like it wasn’t you. If she pushes you back you probably have some initial attraction
High Five/Knock Fists Reward her for good behaviour with the offer of a high five or fist knock. Again, make sure it’s playful and funny
Hug/Push Hug a woman as a reward for something she does and then push her off of you and say: “Okay, that’s enough. Get off me.” Again, be playful
Hand Slap If she does something silly or sarcastic, say: “Give me your hand.” When she offers it up take it formally, like she is going to curtsey and gently slap it. Then say: “That’s for being a brat/cheating/being silly, etc.” As an opener: This can also be used as an opener. Simply push a girl gently and look away like it wasn’t you. If she pushes you back you probably have some initial attraction
City Handshakes These handshakes are more involved versions of the High Five Routine earlier in this chapter. Reward a woman for something she says or does with a series of fictional “jive” handshakes Say: “Nice… L.A. handshake.” Then launch into some silly longwinded handshake with 6 parts to it
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Then say, “Chicago handshake,” and make up another one. Then, “Des Moines handshake,” and make up another… She’ll figure out that you are kidding, but this routine generates a lot of touching and playfulness. Obviously, change the origin cities of the handshakes to something relevant to you and her
Thumb Wrestle You can thumb wrestle any time you and a woman have any sort of conflict or disagreement, whether it’s fake or real. Spontaneously launch into, “Let’s thumb wrestle,” and offer up your hand Then soundly defeat her without mercy Variations: “You can tell a lot about a person by the way they thumb wrestle.” (Launch into a silly cold read.) Go on a cocky tirade about how you were the Middle School thumb wrestling champion and there is still a plaque of you hanging on the wall there.
TV Test This is a great routine to transition from being playful to getting a woman imagining the two of you together as a couple. It’s also a role-play routine. Your tone should still be fun and light. Take the woman in your arms so that you are hugging her, but she is facing away from you, and you are both looking in the same direction “So, we’re on my couch. We’ve known each other for six months now and we’re watching television. What are we watching?” Depending on her answer and how enthusiastically she responds to the hug, you can choose to reward or punish her To reward her, congratulate her on her taste. To punish her (if she says something silly or she is stiff and unenthusiastic about the routine) shove her away playfully and say: “Grey’s Anatomy?! (or whatever her choice was) We’re breaking up…”
Spin Move Use this routine to reward a woman for something, to move her a short distance inside the venue, or just for the heck of it Say: “Give me your hand.” Take it and raise it over her head and use it to playfully spin her around, ballroom dance style
The Spin Move, Adapted to Steal Her Spot The previous routine can also be used to steal a woman’s seat or spot at the bar and/or to plant yourself more solidly into her group. Take a position inside her group whenever possible, rather than getting stuck standing in open space like a stranger 1) Tell one of the women, “Go like this.” And hold your hand out straight ahead with the wrist bent. This is a “compliance test.” You want her to imitate your hand gesture 2) If she doesn’t cooperate, this means that you didn’t have enough attraction yet. You need to demonstrate more value using Attraction material and routines from this chapter Pg 89
3) If she does cooperate, she will hold her hand out to match yours. Take her hand and say, “Now do a little spin.” This is another compliance test 4) If she complies, pull her toward you, spin her around and step into her former spot. Now you are leaning against the bar in a power position instead of her, and she is facing you with her back to the room 5) With a playful attitude say, “Oh!” like you just tricked her and she fell for it. If you do it right, she’ll be laughing or punching your arm and calling you a jerk. Run another routine to keep her logical mind occupied and continue stimulating her with Attraction material
Spin Test A variation on these spin moves allows you to get into Qualification a little bit. Extend your hand to shake hands, hold her hand way in the air and say, “Now spin.” If she does, you know that she is interested in you, or that she’s just a compliant kind of woman; you can proceed in either case. When she lands from the spin, break into Thumb Wrestling (earlier in this chapter) immediately If she does not spin, say: “Wow. That was the fun test, and you just totally failed. Watch. She looks fun...” Turn to another woman in the group –– as long as it’s not the one you are interested in –– and spin her. She will usually agree to the fun test because she doesn’t want to be thought of as “not fun.” Look disapprovingly at the girl who didn’t spin and say: “See? It’s so easy to be fun! Just do everything I say!”
Trust Test The Trust Test is a good way to move things in a subtly romantic direction. Maintain a strong eye to eye gaze throughout, move slowly and don’t explain whether she’s passed until the end “Okay, you’re taking the trust test…Give me your hands.” Put your palms up for her to take them 1) Squeeze her hands. If she squeezes back, she passes 2) Lower your hands, and if she follows with her hands, she passes Then tell her if she passed or failed and that this tells you a lot about her ability to connect with and trust people From then on she will generally be more responsive to physical escalation
Tension Test The Tension Test is essentially a pretext to allow you to touch and massage her. The key here is to deliver compelling Cold Reads based on her reactions as you do so “OK, I’m giving you the tension test.” Put her hands on your shoulders Put your hands on the lower part of her back and massage in small circles Massage your hands up her spine until you reach her shoulders and then massage them Then rub your fingers down either side of her spine with a firm, even pressure As you do this, make up a cold read up based on the tension you claim to have felt in her back. Tell her that you’ve “discovered” she holds in a lot of emotions and is a person with a lot of intense feelings, and proceed from there Pg 90
Arm to Hand Moving The first time you move her within the venue to change locations, (e.g. to go to the bar, to go somewhere quieter to sit down, etc.) offer your elbow and lead her, arm in arm. It’s fairly innocent Later, when you move again and you have (hopefully) built up some comfort and intimacy, stand and offer your hand and lead her across the venue holding hands. This implies greater commitment and signals non–verbally that the relationship has moved forward
Piggy Back This routine is best suited to younger women who are already attracted to you, and social, night time environments. Move her a few feet from her group and say: “Stand on this chair…I’m going to give you a piggy back ride.” Then take her somewhere private within the venue or even walk right out the front door and go for a walk You don’t need to ask her friends for permission in this case This manoeuvre happens so fast and appears so weird that they will seldom protest
Tap Cheek for Kiss If a woman is already attracted to you and (ideally) you and her are alone, then take a couple of opportunities to pause, lean in a bit, tap your cheek, and wait for her to kiss it. Do this after she compliments you or after you do something cool, like deliver a great cold read Do this in a fun spirit. Don’t imply neediness, and don’t kiss her cheek back unless she asks. She usually won’t, and that’s fine The “cheek kiss” builds momentum toward a full makeout This can become especially powerful if you and her are doing something involving repeated and somewhat unpredictable events. For example, if you and her are playing blackjack, point at your cheek every time you win a hand. Say “for luck” if she seems hesitant – do this immediately and don’t let her hesitation build for more than, literally, a fraction of a second. Not only do you get repeated kisses and contact out of this, but when you get blackjack, you can turn your head slightly when she comes in for the kiss. Don’t make out with her, unless she’s obviously ready; a peck on the lips is enough to move the momentum forward. You’re almost assured of being able to make out with her later. You can use the same structure if you are both playing a trivia game at a bar. Get a cheek kiss every time you get a question right and turn your head for a lip peck after an infrequent positive event, like winning the game.
LOVE SYSTEMS ROUTINES MANUAL V2 www.LoveSystems.com
Chapter 2 : The Love Systems Triad THE PHYSICAL PROGRESSION MODEL Earlier versions of Love Systems featured only the breakthrough concepts of the Emotional Progression Model. The idea of a step-by-step model and a correct identification of the key emotional phases was revolutionary at the time, and one of the reasons why Love Systems is recognized today as the leading dating coaching group. Pg 91
Still, like any simplification, it has its limits. And one of those is that – as I often explain at our live workshops – “you can’t talk a woman into bed.” To be consistently successful with beautiful women, you should master the art of the “physical conversation.” This ranges from subtle signals - like when one of you reaches out to touch the other to respond to a humorous comment or to emphasize a point – to the more obvious physical advances like putting your arm around her, putting her in your lap, kissing her, or more. We call it a “conversation” because her reactions to your moves, and your reactions to hers, are equally important and build on each other in sequence. I remember a date I was on few years ago, before I discovered Love Systems. My friend set me up. She was a graduate student, intelligent, playful, and very attractive. We had a ton in common, from taste in books and music to a shared interest in history, astronomy and classic cult movies. I thought our date went well, with lots of laughs and great conversation. But when I tried to kiss her at the end of the night, she pulled away. Now, women will rarely tell you why they reject you, because they don’t want to feel mean or have awkward conversations, but in this case I happened to run into her a couple of years later, when I was deep into developing Love Systems. I asked her if she remembered our date – she did – and she told me that she’d been really interested in me at first, but toward the end of the night the “energy” was gone and she thought of me more as a friend. Okay….but what did that actually mean? In Love Systems terms, the lack of physical contact and physical progression over the course of the night slowly but surely dissipated her romantic/sexual feelings for me. She didn’t even realize this was happening – women often don’t know why they become attracted or un-attracted and their explanations are often just guesses or rationalizations of their behaviour. But in this case her meaning was easy to interpret: Emotional Progression without Physical Progression = Let’s Just Be Friends In more technical language, I’d tried to jump to the end of Romantic Touch when I hadn’t even established Social Touch (we’ll cover each of the phases of the Physical Progression Model in a moment). I hadn’t built any momentum, and my sequencing error was the physical equivalent of Joe approaching a beautiful woman with Comfort before Attraction. Before we dive into this, it’s important to realize that “Physical Progression” isn’t groping or forcing yourself on women. Rather, you are copying the intuitive touching that many charismatic men do naturally. Pg 92
For example, U.S. President Bill Clinton had an amazing ability to connect with people. The other day I was watching an old newscast, and saw him shaking hands with someone. I must have replayed it four times - there was so much going on. He shook hands with his right hand, and his left went to the other guy’s elbow. Then he said a couple of words, laughed, and tapped him on the shoulder, all within a couple of seconds, and all completely natural looking, completely appropriate, and completely effective. People who have met him always talk about his “charm” and “magnetism” – and of course he has a reputation for being attractive to women, even before he was the President. Many men who aren’t naturally “touchy” come to Love Systems thinking that they couldn’t “get away with” normal physical progression. This is why I encourage guys to be the “creepy touchy guy” for a week or so. Sometimes you have to try to deliberately overshoot the mark to find out where the limits really are. You probably have much more freedom than you think. With that in mind, let’s take a look at each of the four phases of the Physical Progression Model.
1. Social Touch Social Touch is the kind of touch that would be socially appropriate if the person you are touching is a complete stranger. Generally, this kind of touch is on the elbow, shoulder, or hands. Common examples of social touch include: Physically demonstrative handshakes (Bill Clinton example) Touching someone’s arm or shoulder when you are making a point, showing a person something, or getting his or her attention High-fives “Games” like thumb-wrestling, hot hands, etc., that involve some touching If you’re confused about whether something qualifies as social touch, ask yourself: would you touch a man this way? If not, it’s not social touch. With Social Touch, you should touch everyone in a group who is close to you and treat everyone equally. No special attention for women, let alone for the woman you are specifically interested in. Some Social Touch opportunities will almost always be there. For example, touching someone’s arm or shoulder will always be a possibility. Other opportunities need to be created. For example, the handshake routine (in the Love Systems Routines Manual, Volume I) and the “Golden Ratio” in this book are explicitly designed in part to give you an opportunity to create and intensify Social Touch. That’s the point of physical progression routines – to give you built-in opportunities to escalate your touching. You can and should initiate social touch as early as possible in an interaction, usually within 30 seconds. This is important for establishing momentum to move forward into the next phase of the Physical Progression Model: Friendly Touch. This is really important. Compare two approaches. Say I approach a group of strangers, and as part of my initial conversation, I’m using Social Touch. A few minutes later, I playfully put my arm around the woman I’m interested in for a second (Friendly Touch). It’s not really awkward or worth anyone noticing or commenting on. It feels natural, as escalating physical touch always should. Now, say I hadn’t done any touching at first. When I try the same arm-around-her move a few minutes into the conversation, people will notice. It will seem “different” and people will feel the shift. It’s not “natural” at all. Pg 93
(On a more advanced note, this “natural” feeling is one reason why we teach men at our live training workshops to always be talking at the times when they are escalating physically (or logistically) so that they’re drawing attention away from the escalation.)
2. Friendly Touch Friendly Touch implies that you and the person you are touching are more than strangers. However, it doesn’t necessarily imply romantic or sexual interest. For example: Your arm around someone briefly Touch on the back Touch on the legs (in a seated position) but not the upper or inner thighs Fixing someone’s hair Extended touching of someone’s hands (Not holding hands – rather, the sort of hand touching if you were reading someone’s palm) Holding her hand with an excuse (e.g., “come with me”) Any kind of play fighting Hugs or “French-style” cheek kisses Dancing (most of the time) Role-playing kino/touching Often, things that qualify as Friendly Touch could also be Romantic Touch, depending on the context and duration. For example, if I put my arm around a female friend for a few seconds when I run into her, that’s Friendly Touch. If I’m sitting on the couch with a woman with my arm around her for a half hour, that’s Romantic Touch. Friendly touch is a crucial bridge between Social Touch (available to anyone) and Romantic Touch (available only to potential romantic connections). It’s great for testing her interest in you – does she reciprocate? Pull away? Intensify the connection?
3. Romantic Touch Romantic touch is something that implies a connection beyond the “just friends” level. But don’t assume anything. Until you’ve kissed her, she still has plausible deniability. She can be enjoying the feeling of Romantic Touch, enjoying the flirting, enjoying the sexual tension, and have absolutely no intention of proceeding further. (That’s okay – people who learn Love Systems get pretty good at getting beautiful women to change their minds.) Examples of Romantic Touch include: Massages Stroking her hair Her sitting on your lap Holding hands Etc. (Note that Romantic Touch is not explicitly sexual.) Kissing comes at the very end of Romantic Touch – and that’s where plausible deniability ends. The makeout is an important signpost in the Physical Progression Model. Once she makes out with you, she’s not flirting or being friendly, she’s put herself out there. (But see the chapter on Kissing in the book Magic Bullets for some big pitfalls about kissing too soon or how it can dissipate sexual tension and kill your chances of advancing into Sexual Touch. It’s not true that you should always go for the makeout as soon as you can.) Pg 94
4. Sexual Touch Sexual touch is the end zone of the physical model. It includes anything past kissing.
MASTERLIFE .PODBEAN.COM – TROY KinoDVDmpg.mp4 Leave your hand in their hand, after you’ve SOI’d them. Most of the time you will leave your hand in their hand, after you’ve SOI’d them. Then you can escalate to holding both their hands, face to face, with your thumbs on the back of their palms i.e. your hands are gripping the outside of her palms, her palms are facing downward, your fingers underneath her hands whilst your palms are facing up.
Squeeze both hands Squeeze both hands (as a reward) if she says something funny or interesting.
Interlocking Fingers hand to hand hold Later transition to Interlocking Fingers hand to hand hold, by stepping forward and rotating your palms to face down and interlocking your fingers amongst hers
Drift Away Lead her around and then Drift Away by turning away from her as you step somewhere else you want to be, loosening the interlocking grip and brushing your fingers against hers as you separate hands and move away.
The hand is a very good Indicator of Interest (IOI) Hands are very important in kino. The hand is a very good Indicator of Interest (IOI), much better than trying to read her body language. If she’s not gripping your hand securely she’s not that interested.
Release the Sexual Tension Sometimes it’s good to Release the Sexual Tension, by standing side-by-side with one hand hold and just swing your hand & hers together, forward & back, with a much lighter grip.
Sexual tension is Go-Stop-Go Sexual tension is Go-Stop-Go i.e. two steps forward, one step back. Don’t go all the way in one continuous escalation whether kissing or kino / holding hands etc. This will make the girl want more of it, if you make sure you’re not continuously “clingy”. For example, (Go) Standing side by side, your one hand gripping hers. (Stop) Then release the sexual tension, by using lighter grip & swinging your hands together. (Go further than before) Then escalate the kino, by holding her around her waist.
Another example of Go-Stop-Go with dancing (Go) Be dancing face to face with her, close in your leg in between hers, your hand on the small of her back. (Stop) Step back, push her away gently, by putting your hands on her hips and pushing away. (Go, further than before) Then hold both your hands out to her so that she puts her hands in yours, then escalate the kino by crossing your hands, pull her forward to one side of you, then lift your hands up above her head and spin her around 360 degrees and then when she faces you again, keep your hands close to your chest (still gripping her hands) lift her hands back over her shoulders and behind her back, then let go her hands, move your hands down her back. Pg 95
webcast - Improve Your Game.wmv Kino video from Troy’s website
Dance Kino
07:05 If you want to learn dancing to seduce you’ve got to learn not only dancing but basic kino escalation moves. The way you touch the hand, the way you graze the neck, grab the back of the hair, the way you pull her up and do the eye contact, the way you stare down at her, the way you build that tension, the way you hug.
Kino on Dates 12:50 First off, you want to have kino on a date that allows that to happen. That’s why I don’t believe in getting numbers without foreshadowing the date that I know is going to allow for a lot of kino. Like drunken karaoke or stop by and basketball or foosball at the house. Or working out together or walking my dog. If I know that there’s something like that along the way and I know that there’s going to be kino, I’m going to foreshadow it even before I get the number. Structure dates to where you can actually touch the girl and do a little flirting kino. Push here (push her in her side), flick her there (on the shoulder), hug here like that (pull her in and rub the top of her head). You definitely want to create that, some hand holding to maybe make it a little more romantic. Maybe a walk on the beach and you catch a beach ball that gets thrown at you and instead of returning it to the kid, you throw it at her. She’s going to run at you and you’re going to go “Oh no no no!” (hold your hands in an apology and then hug her). Create dates that allow for kino. If you want to get the kiss, it’s very simple you know. Get an atmosphere of intimacy. After the date, make sure there’s a more isolated, private area and throw a barrier. Usually my barrier is, “I would love to kiss you right here but I’m a very private guy and I want to definitely have our moment, maybe over there.” Some girls will just say “ah forget it, fuck it, it’s okay, let’s make out, I don’t care.” But some girls will actually respect that and go with you and as they go with you, kissing ensues. Definitely have an atmosphere of intimacy. I use a (small portable) speaker system for plugging in my I-phone. This has been an awesome escalation tool for my dates. I can then play anything on my playlist. Now how do I use that on date. I’ve got a playlist for more subtle romantic songs, you bossanova, some chill songs, that allow me to just go, “all right let’s go dance”, allow this kino to happen. Or like one of my lay reports a few months ago. We went back to the house, I start playing hip-hop music and I said this is going to be club T & whatever her initials were. We created a club, we started booty dancing in my own place, which allowed for some kino escalation, me pushing her away a little bit, SOI, drop back and then before you know it, I turn my head and she jumps at me and starts making out with me and we go straight to the bedroom. So that’s music and being creative, having more creative dates that allow for this kino stuff to happen is really important.
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NATHANX - SEXUAL MASTERY FOR MEN VOL.1 My transcription notes.
CD 7
Track 2 - Arousal Process and Touch Escalation
Arousal Process is the process & actions involved in sexual activity pre-penetration and then going into penetration & further sex Kissing, touching, hugging, talking, comfort building, foreplay, oral sex, manual sex etc are all part of this process, getting her turned on, wet, engorged and aroused. Touch Escalation is the process & progress whereby you touch each other and get comfortable with each other in close physical proximity to each other. Touch is the ladder to sex so I'm tying Arousal Process and Touch Escalation together. How comfortable both of you are with being physically close to each other, is a measure of how far you are from having sex. Sex is obviously the ultimate in close physical proximity. Always remember that arousal happens in the sub-conscious mind or the emotional mind. It is an emotional process not a logical process. A women fells aroused, she doesn’t decide or choose to be aroused. To arouse her you stimulate her mind. The feelings described in her fantasy world for example, are what arouse her. Male and female arousal works differently. We are built differently because we have different roles in sex. Men are similar to a switch in some ways, on or off. We're either aroused or not. When we look at a woman we will often say, yes we will or no we won't have sex with her. There is often little middle ground. Physically we need to get an erection of course, so we need to be on, men need to be aroused to have sex. Having a huge range on how aroused we feel, isn't necessarily that useful to getting an erection. So for this reason, men are quicker to be aroused, we need to be, it makes physical sense, so we can get an erection. Women are not the same. A woman's arousal is more like a dial or pot of boiling water. A woman's arousal goes from 0 to a 100, from nothing and then up and up. It usually increases slower than a man's. At their most aroused, woman can enter a trance like state. Arousal with a woman the first time you have sex with her, is usually a slower process and involves more resistance. A general rule to stick to is to have a more lengthy arousal process for newer women in your life or the first time you're having sex together. Unlike in long term relationships, where quickies can often be fun and add more variety. Don't always think that woman always want a long drawn out arousal process. Sometimes she's already aroused and wants to get down to it, or she knows you well, so arousal happens quicker. Kinoaesthetics or kino is a term that refers to forms of touching and personal space. Alpha kino is touching that shows dominance. Correct kinaesthetics or touch escalation is very important especially when you're first having sex with a woman, although obviously still relevant in a long term relationship. It is key an optimal arousal to have correct and smooth touch escalation. Kino escalation is the ladder to sex. Smooth touch escalation is fundamental to her Pg 97
arousal and getting to the point of sex. In terms of first time sex, what you say to each other is just to get comfortable with each other's personal space. As everybody knows, body language communicates more about you than what you say verbally, from 50-90%. You can judge her interest in you based on her body language & her comfort sharing personal space with you and her interest in having sex with you at that moment in time. You have to make her comfortable with you through gradual closer and closer contact with her. You should always be touching a woman in non-sexual ways as soon as you meet her, but not in a sleazy or overly obvious manner. If done correctly it makes her comfortable with your touch and brings you closer together quicker. So kino starts when you first meet a woman, so it may be touches on her shoulder or arm, then onto her hips, then maybe handholding or hugging, kissing and ultimately sex. So you can see there's a ladder of touching leading up to sex. There are many other forms of touch on that ladder. An classic example of poor touch escalation is at the end of the date when you're both standing at the door, you're both considering a goodnight kiss. There's an uncomfortable distance between you, there's a physical gap that need to be bridged for you both to kiss. If on the other hand you were comfortable touching each other, prior to that moment, in non-sexual ways, the goodnight kiss will seem normal and natural. You may be arm in arm, close to each other, walking to the door. So there's no gap to be bridged before the kiss. Touch happened gradually and smoothly so the kiss will also happen smoothly, because you've removed the gap, that jarring jump in escalation from one level of comfort to the next. Another example when you're home with a woman and you both want to have sex but there is a gap of space you need to bridge to take things to a further sexual level. Mastering the Touch Escalation or Arousal Process makes the transition to sex smooth and easy., it eliminates the gaps that may otherwise have needed to be bridged. In order to have sex with a woman, the thing you need to worry about most is making her comfortable with your intimate touch. As with everything else you need to take the Lead, Touch Escalation is no exception. But you don’t want to force it because that’s when it becomes unsmooth and uncomfortable. Touch is about making her feel more and more comfortable. Your level & type of touch with a woman should be equal/consistent with how comfortable she feels with you. You need to choose when to touch, how to touch and when to fall back. But where possible you want to initiate touching so she’s touching you, so she feels like she's the one touching you and not you as the one touching her. You do this by moving her arm, leg and other body parts onto you. For example, say you're on a sofa together chatting. You move her hand onto your leg, then leave her hand there. So you're not putting your hand onto her leg. A subtle but important difference. Done this way she can choose to remove the touch, there's freedom that removes the possibility of her feeling uncomfortable with you touching her. If you have your hand on her leg and she's feeling uncomfortable with that, then that affects her sub-conscious mind and affects her arousal. However if you have her hand on your leg and she's comfortable with that, that also influences her subconscious mind. Leading the touching this way also tells her that you're comfortable with her touching you. Sometimes women may want to escalate or get close to you but they're also afraid of your reaction, that they may seem easy or slutty.
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Track 3 - Her Signs of Sexual Interest How to recognise her signs of sexual interest and how to control them. Talking in the context of first time sex. Woman are rarely verbal about indicating their sexual interest in you. Due to social programming, they don't want to appear slutty or easy, even though their thoughts may be very different. They may even verbally lie to you although they're very interested in having sex with you. So you need to pick up on her subtleties, her body doesn't lie. Men make the mistake of listening to what she says not what observing her body. How do you test? You have to observe how she comfortable she is with your touching. Does she break contact or initiate it? What is her current level of touch comfort-ability is? Are you just holding hands, or is her hand on your leg, or is your hand around her, or maybe she's leaning into you as you sit together on the sofa, or she's sitting on your lap. There'll be a level she is comfortable with and a level that'll go too far. So holding hands could be fine but then maybe moving her hand onto your leg is taking it too far. So you need to understand where her level of comfort is. An example where she becomes uncomfortable is holding hands and she breaks away. Or your hands around her shoulder and she moves away to sit on the other side of the sofa. She's showing she isn't ready for that. In most cases where you bring a woman back to your house she'll already be comfortable with social touching because you'll already have been physically touching each other for so long, she'll already have a certain level of comfort by the time you get back to your house, or at least she should. So let's go through some tactics on how to help with smooth escalation. So wherever possible we want to minimise her opportunities where she can break away from physical contact on her own terms. So if you feel she wants to break away, you want to try to do it first. This makes you the prize, you're the one who is setting the boundaries of touch. It makes her the one chasing you, and it affects her sub-conscious, helps remove resistance. When you sense a lack of comfort in the way you're touching her then you break contact. Don't go back to where she was previously comfortable with you touching her, stop all contact and then let her re-initiate contact, so she can re-initiate the touching to her level of comfort. Make her the chaser. So control the duration of the touches yourself and keep pushing her levels of comfort. So for example, if you're on a sofa together, try putting her hand on your leg. Then maybe try putting your hand on her leg, if you sense she is uncomfortable then move your hand away. When you're near her boundaries you may only be touching her for a few seconds before pulling back. But don't be drawing attention to your touching. Do it casually and definitely don't mention it or talk about it. Be chatty, telling a story, playing a game, watching TV or whatever you'd normally be doing and make touching a part of it. Try using push/pull or teasing tactics. So when you're testing her boundaries for example, maybe you're hugging each other, let it last for a few seconds and then in a joking way with a smile say, "that’s all you're Pg 99
getting for now." Then remove the contact and do something else. Make sure its upbeat. So you 're touching her, testing her at that level and then removing the touch on your terms. Another example, you're kissing her on the neck, you see she's enjoying it, responding to it, but you don't push it too far, then you get up and get a drink and then do something else. So you're giving her a little bit then taking it away. This is teasing or push/pull. Women aren't used to this and it really turns things around, they become the chaser, they enjoy it. What they're used to are guys touching them and then continuing to escalate, trying to get further. That’s what every other guy does, he'll start kissing her then want to go further and further. What you do is different, you do push/pull & teasing. So you're giving her a little bit of what she wants, testing her boundaries then taking it away. Even when you see she's enjoying the touching, tease with it, play with it. These are just examples for illustration, they're not something I'm suggesting you specifically do. Another example, have her sit in your lap to show her something, your laptop, pictures or whatever. Kiss her on the neck and tell her, "you smell great", then get up and do something else. Push/pull helps build her arousal initially. People always want what they can't get, what's just out of reach. So create that sexual tension. Kiss her then stop & tell her a story as if it’s just popped into your head. You don't want to seem uninterested, you just want to play with the sexual tension. Women really respond to sexual tension and push/pull. If you give them everything they want that's not good, build up that tension, make her want more of you. Moving your hands around is generally better for arousal (and removing resistance) than just keeping your hands planted in one place on her body in a static manner, leaving them there all the time. Move them around, release, caress. Pay attention to her body language, is she facing you, is she leaning in, is she open to you? Are her arms open to you? These are all signs of interest in you. If her body is closed off or leaning away, these are all signs of less interest in you. If you squeeze her hand, does she squeeze back? If you play with her fingers does she reciprocate? When you're holding hands does she interlock fingers to get closer to you? Is she playing with her hair or touching her body when she's talking to you? These are positive signs she's enjoying the contact. Try not to lean too far forward early on when you're back home, as this projects too much interest and can make her uncomfortable. This shows neediness, that you're chasing sex or that you're after something. She picks up on this sub-consciously and will feel like you're trying to take from her. Try to get her to lean into you, by relaxing and leaning back yourself. Don't slouch, stand or sit up straight, not stiff, just take up space, smile, chat and touch casually. Draw her into you. Consciously try to remove any fidgety body language, you may not know you're doing it. Fidgeting implies you're uncomfortable and is not attractive to women an can remove arousal. So reduce large gestures & fast hand movements, slow them down as these can be interpreted as nervous energy. If you're drinking don't hold the glass in front of your chest as a security blanket or barrier between the two of you. Put it down or just relax with it to the side of you. Open up, uncross your arms, don't keep them in front of you. When people establish rapport with each other, they often mirror the other's body language. So if you're closed off, she will also be closed off, it happens on a sub-conscious level. You have to be open & relaxed if she is to be open & relaxed. Pg 100
You can also force her to mirror your body language, for example if she turns towards you on the sofa, you also turn towards her, If she puts her feet up to relax and kicks her shoes off, you do the same. Then you can escalate, while you're chatting maybe stroke her feet for a few seconds. See how she responds. Then move her leg onto yours and leave it there. Move her hand onto your leg. Move your hand onto her leg etc. When you're talking to her, try to maintain eye contact most of the time. When she's talking to you, maintain eye contact about half of the time. This is what's natural when people are comfortable.
Track 4 - Quick Examples of Touching & Comfort Allow her to sit down first so you can naturally sit next to her, otherwise she might sit down far away from you. Remove extra seats so she's forced to sit next to you. If she sits down far away, make an excuse to get up, i.e. get a drink, then come back and sit next to her. Watch TV or a DVD in the bedroom rather than the lounge. tell her your lounge TV is not working. A huge beanbag for you to sit on, forces you together. Little books or puzzles that force you to come closer together and touch, then after stay close. These routines should be fun & playful, not obvious manipulations. Have an interesting item of clothing like a funny hat or something, that you can show her and give her an excuse to touch you. Learn simple magic tricks that enable you to touch her hands & body as part of the show. Don't make them not cheesy just fun i.e. coin magic, thread magic and mentalism. Look on the "Master Your Sex Life" forum for more about these tricks. Watch a scary movie in the dark that gives them the opportunity to get closer to you. Learn palm reading, clichéd but helpful. Learn classic pub tricks that you can show her or get her to try. Have books around the home that help touching, somewhere she can see and notice, then you can demonstrate on her i.e. massage, yoga, exercise, palm reading. Use key points in stories to touch her i.e. when something scary happens Dancing together to music Massage toy that massages your head, looks like a spider i.e. the Orgasmatron. Try it on each other, tell her "Let’s see what works better, human hands or the machine" Moving her hair out of her face, pretending you need to. Play with her hair Snake game. Your run your fingers down her back and she has to guess which finger you're using. Silly game but gets the touch going and works on her subconscious to make her feel closer to you and more comfortable Do your own things, doesn't matter, it's just an excuse to touch and get closer. Often by that stage she's already into you.
DVD 2 Body Language & Touch Escalation Exaggerated (comedy) examples, a visual backup to his audio descriptions.
00m:10s
Bad Body Language
Sitting on the same sofa Too closed in. Arms in front of the body, legs together, fidgeting around your face. Leaning in towards her. Drink glass in front of the body, protecting the body. Arms & legs crossed, protecting himself
00m:57s
Good Body Language
Sitting on the same sofa Relaxed, arms & legs apart, open body language. Pg 101
01m:08s
Bad Touch Escalation
Classic end-of-night kiss, she's leaving, they walked to the front door together Touch escalation is the ladder to sex, very important. Should be done smoothly. They walked to the door together and he suddenly lean in for the kiss. There was no initial contact before going in.
01m:44s
Good Touch Escalation
Classic end-of-night kiss, she's leaving, they walked to the front door together Contact already established, walking to door together, arms linked. Then turn to face each other holding each other's hands, he doesn't have to lean in, kiss happens naturally, his hands on her body..
02m:02
Bad Touch Escalation
Sitting on the same sofa He's relaxed, leaning back, arms apart. She's got her legs crossed, but pointing towards him which is good. She's touching her hands, looking fairly relaxed but not in a particularly sexual frame of mind. He goes straight in for the kiss, by just shifting across the sofa and leaning in. Very unsmooth escalation!
02m:44s
Bad Touch Escalation
Sitting on the same sofa She's sitting right next to him, hand on his leg, he's got relaxed open body language. But he decides to get up and move around, gets a puzzle book to look at together, then sits back down again, on the other side of her. She leans in again, with arm around him, hand on his leg again. He's still trying to build that connection with her, but he doesn't need it, she's playing around with his leg, looking at his face and eyes. But he's not pulling the trigger, going in for the kiss. Now the moment has passed. Then another clear signal, she's looking straight at him, hands on his leg, they should be kissing.
04m:25s
Bad Touch Escalation
Sitting on the same sofa They're both leaning back, relaxed. Then he moves closer to her, puts his hand on her leg, she moves it off as a sign that she's not interested. What he should be doing now, is sitting further back and relaxing more. But he's moved in a little closer to her, by moving in his arm towards her, which he shouldn't have done, he should've pulled back. He moves in even closer and she pulls away more, leaning back , it's very clear she's not interested.
DVD 3 Touch Escalation Smooth Touch Escalation is the ladder to sex. Fundamentally important for arousal and getting to the point of sex, so that it's comfortable for her.
00m:27s
Smooth Touch Escalation Pg 102
Sitting on different sofas, apart from each other If there's a distance between you like this, not a good idea to just go over to her, shows a bit of neediness and can make things uncomfortable. So he asks her if she wants a drink, he gets up, comes back and sits down on the same sofa with her. She turns to face him, they start chatting, establishing further rapport. he puts his legs up on the sofa as well, mirroring her body language. She kicks her shoes off, showing she's relaxed and sexually interested. He puts his feet up on the sofa, some touching of the feet. This is a speeded up example of touch escalation, you don't go from distance to close straight away, feels awkward for the woman. He goes away again to get some something to help them get closer again. He gets a camera and sits down next to her. He doesn't lean in to show, he leans back so that she has to lean in and move closer to see the pictures of his dog. Just a routine to help get in closer a smooth manner! He puts his hand on her shoulder as a touch test. His hand is moving its not just placed there. he saw that she was comfortable with that so he's moved in closer and she's got her hand on his leg, so we know it’s on and the kiss happens.
03m:31s
Smooth Touch Escalation
Sitting on the same sofa They're sitting apart, she's got her legs away from him, so he needs to establish more conversation & connection. Now she's turned into him, he's mirroring her body language, still chatting, he's open and relaxed. She's opened her legs a little more. He holds her hand out for her to put her hand in his. Is another routine like palm reading, which brings her closer in. He's now got a magazine to show her some stuff, they're sitting right next to each other now, chatting & smiling. The kiss happens, he's rubbing his hand on her leg. He gets up and leads her by the hand into the bedroom.
04m:57s
Smooth Touch Escalation
Moving her hand onto you Never force touching. You can do that by moving her hand onto you, do it while chatting so it doesn't draw attention. Put her hand on your leg or somewhere and leave it there. It's a test to see how comfortable she is with your touch. Or put your hand out and allow her to put her hand into yours. Grabbing her hand can make her feel uncomfortable, which will lower her levels of interest and arousal.
DVD 6 Showing Dominance & Masculinity Social dominance Pg 103
Examples of social (body language & kino etc) dominance … leading. They should be used in combination with a level of emotional connection, dominance is no good without it. Dominance is about leading women to sexual opportunities, not controlling them. 00m:32s - 02m:30s Your body language should show dominance by being open and relaxed Leading the conversation is a form of dominance. Helping her to maintain a high level of emotional state so she doesn’t experience state breaks. Leading the progression of the evening, like getting her a drink and making sure she’s comfortable. It’s not supplication but leading Leading her emotional state with interesting routines (palm reading), interesting conversation & ideas Leading her through touch escalation o Kissing her and then breaking the kiss off on your terms. Perhaps turning away. Playfully slapping her on the ass .. push/pull. Dominating her physically i.e. pushing her up against the wall, holding her face, kissing her. Then breaking off on your terms. With the right amount of emotional connection, this is arousing to a woman, its dominating/leading behaviour. Holding your hand out when she’s aroused enough and leading her to the bedroom. Not forcing her but leading her to the bedroom. Or physically picking her up and leading her into the bedroom.
FORUM.CHARISMAARTS.COM GENERAL : Kino and being creepy USER : Slicky Boom Boom Hello everyone, total newbie here with some kino questions. In lurking the board a bit, one of the mind-blowing things I came across was this piece from Jason Lee's sig: "About hugging random people. They like it. THEY LIKE IT. Watch all the most popular guys for a few hours. I guarantee they're touching all the girls constantly, and all the girls are gaggling around them. It's not gutsy or bold or anything of the sort. It's necessary. You are invisible if you're not touching people. You are absolutely invisible." Having been an invisible man for some time, I can attest to the veracity of the preceding. This was something I needed to hear. And so, I've been trying to sit back and take notes on the guys I know that just kino as a matter of course in dayto-day life. At first I concluded that, like many other things, it came down to a sense of inner confidence and entitlement, and the mindset that it was no big deal. But then I also know guys who have a chronic case of creepy - they will throw their arm around a girl at a party or pull them in for a kiss on the cheek, and later the girl will bitch to their friends that he was being a clingy creep. So I'm not entirely sure where the distinction is...maybe the "creepy" guys put too much importance or intention into their kino? Make it try to mean something more than it has to? I'm not sure. The thing is, I'm pretty paranoid about coming off as one of those creepy touchers, and it makes me reluctant to kino at all. But I know that I have to do so if I ever want to get anywhere, because girls pick up on my hesitance to touch them, and then THAT makes me look creepy. I just failed hard with an attempt at turning a friend into Pg 104
a lover, and I think this is at least half of the reason. So...what makes a touch a "bad touch"? Am I just taking skin too seriously?
USER : social butterfly Never ever take what a girls says in conversation to be the truth. I don't like being kissed on the cheek, kino or being approached by guys when I am out with my girlfriends in bars. I have heard them all. But they like all three, but just not with that guy. Or not with that set of friends watching with that guy. Well I have seen this happen, to a CA instructor. She told him to get his hand off her. He just moved on, he was not attached to the outcome. Some girls will not like you, that just a fact. But most will, and a few will love you. You see when you realise, that there is a abundance of women out there, if you are prepared to approach them and be yourself, be respectful, have fun, and are not attached to the outcome. Then your life will change forever.
USER : Kat The big difference between good kino and bad kino is the reaction to her reaction. For example, if you gave me a hug and I moved away would you let me go or would you keep holding on? The second is creepy. If you kino while still giving her a choice, it's great. If you try and force something on someone without giving them a choice it's creepy. Once again, it's not the amount of touching. It's whether or not you still give her a choice.
USER : Adras Like you said, your mindset has a lot to do with it. Also, you should pay attention to how they react. The same way you studied guys who do these interactions. You should study the females reactions to it. Like Kat said, a lingering touch can be really creepy. So, try to make this a natural thing. Keep your hands up when you’re talking, gesture with them, touch them when you make points or they laugh. Forget about all the things people talk about anchoring feelings to touches and what not. It may or may not work. All that is important is that you kino. For instances last night I was sitting with some buddies at Buffalo Wild Wings and I watched this waitress serving these two tables at the bar who were across the room from each other. Both tables had two guys and said guys were both well dressed and didn't look creepy at all. I know both tables were hitting on the waitress(don't blame them) However, the table with the guy with the blond spikey hair was the only one getting anywhere. I could tell because she was all leaned over the table into the conversation they were having. Then I saw it, the guy was gently touching the girls arm. Not constantly, but every time he would say something or she would laugh etc. he would gently just kind of touch her. The other table was right next to us. Let's just say an AFC drunk hitting on a waitress at a quasi bar is kind of entertaining. Point is. You need to make the kino and natural non obtrusive thing. Pg 105
USER : Nonstopdrivel Adras wrote: Like Kat said, a lingering touch can be really creepy. It can also be really, really sexy.
USER : Kat It's not a lingering touch that's creepy, it's a lingering touch with no way to leave. By all means linger. Just give her a choice to break contact if she so desires. And yes, don't worry about the "right" times to touch. Just touch. Have it be a natural part of you, and people will respond (for the most part) as if it's a natural thing to have happen.
USER : zacxpacx hmm I agree and disagree I want to kino in a way so that if she wants to break the contact, I'll know, but I don't want to make it easy for her to break contact as soon as you feel she does though, YOU have to end the kino also Tim, from RSD has a blog (naturaltim.com) which has some great inner game especially for kinoing
USER : Nonstopdrivel I'm going to say this in the most polite way I know how. This thought process IS creepy and is liable to get you in position for a sexual harassment charge. No matter what you do with a woman, you must ALWAYS give her the freedom to choose whether or not to continue in the interaction with you. (Actually, a woman who feels that freedom is more likely to want to continue the interaction.) Those marketing hype slogans of "FORCE HER TO BE IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTED TO YOU!!" and the like are pure bull and train you to have some dangerous mental and behavioral patterns.
USER : Wayne Elise Great response from Kat and NonStop as always. They are the Superfriends, dynamic duo of seduction. Okay, here is my view on Kino: Don't be a typical Kino Dude. That is creepy. Do not give goodbye/hello hugs. Do not give high fives. This stuff is stupid, an attempt at manipulation and makes you dumb and dumber. Guys think that Kino is a way to sneak the physical in there. They want to ramp it up from a Kino event that they can pass off as just friendly. They think there is a smooth escalation ramp to sexual touching. There is not. Most girls think guys like that are lame. It will feel lame. First you hug, then you stroke, then you get on top of her = lame. Don't do that. Kino should mean something. A touch is a touch but a touch with significance means more. Just saw Slum Dog Millionaire. At the end the hero kissed the girls scar. You can feel the significance. When dudes high five some girl, I am throwing up. That is so TYPICAL and WEAK. You will not be remembered or make an impression with a high five. Don't do that. Instead build significance and then touch. And touch in an interesting way. When women ask me where I live I often say to them that I can not tell them, I have to show them. I take their hand and put it in my lap. I run my fingers over the palm of their hand exploring Pg 106
the map of my life and my area. I often have someone just stick out their index finger and then I slowly extend mine while looking into their eyes. Our fingers touch at the tips. I say, "Can you feel that?" They say yes sometimes and no sometimes. When they say no, I just laugh. Use your imagination, be bold and don't just touch but rather make your touching mean something. Let them anticipate and desire the touch before you touch. That is sexy.
USER : Osmosis That is gold, Wayne. I always felt strange and slightly fake doing the hug thingy when meeting or saying goodbye, especially if I was not feeling it. I thought I was chicken, as I have heard so much about the "just touch her all over the place as soon as possible" mantra. To me, I always tried to find a reason why I should be touching her, and I had to mean it, and feel it. It is impossible to describe, but I feel more right doing this. The times that I did, it felt much more comfortable and "right" to me. The girls had no problem with it, it felt natural. I used to worry about this, but now I just go with the moment. I don’t think you use the same kino tactics on every girl. Some girls you can kino off the bat, some take a little more time. I understand this now. But thanks Wayne, for pointing out something I thought I was the only one doing!
USER : Poise Eye contact, appearance, and body language probably make up whether what you do is creepy. Creepiness, often times is an image thing. A person can be standing there not touch anymore, or say anything and you still could tell he was creepy. Just go to a nightclub and observe, "What makes that person weird/creepy?" Then don't do what that guy is doing. A lot of women's dating lives are influenced by Sex & The City. What's the male version of Sex & The City? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoNBdHN0p5M Do not give goodbye/hello hugs. Girls frequently give goodbye/hello hugs, and goodbye/hello kisses depending on which country you're from. I think forced high fives are weird. Because you typically don't high-five unless you're playing sports or to celebrate. Thus, randomly high-fiving a girl doesn't make much since socially. It'd probably be just as effective to force a hand-shake. But there's nothing wrong with a hello hug. I use to never do them, then I get to college, got tons of female friends, and frequently have it initiated. If someone did a study on which gender was more likely to initiate a hug as a greeting/goodbye it's probably be females by far. The guy in this video actually hugs a girl he doesn't know on the street, and it works pretty well (@2.40 mark): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lj5D2i2O9D0
USER : Wayne Elise The reason a hug is creepy is that it is a friend gesture. Therefore when she realizes you are trying to pick her up it becomes a creepy, weak and dishonest move. Only friends and gay people go around hugging people, and once she learns that you are neither but rather using it to try to 'get with her' it becomes creepy. This is DOC: Delayed Onset Creep. Ha. In my opinion that video was a good example of what to avoid doing. He creates forced interactions with the girl on the defensive most of the time. Instead you want her wanting to keep the interaction going. He also fails to instill much curiosity, and the little he creates he squanders in a gimicky way. He forces all of his Pg 107
'escalations', there is no buy-in or desire on her part. Also, since many girls can see the camera that affects their reactions. Back to Kino. Don't try to sneak in Kino under false pretenses. That is creepy. Make it clear, significant and honest.
USER : Wandering Sumo Peppermint Gomez wrote: ...touch on my own high point (i.e. when I laugh) and... Huh? I thought the idea was to touch her on her high point, instead of my high point. I'm not messing with you, Peppermint, I'm just confused. I spend a lot of time like this. Anybody want to offer a tie-breaking opinion?
USER : Pickstuffup Just touch her without thinking about it. There's 3 levels to kino: platonic/personal/sexual platonic - outside of hands (back of hand) on normal 'friend places' - nudge on the arm type thing personal - inside of hands shoulders upper back etc outside leg sexual...neck, lower back, inner thighs, face, hair, belly, hips get sexual after the SOI and without trying to force it and it won't be creepy. other types of kino are just completely normal.
USER : Peppermint Gomez Wandering Sumo wrote: Peppermint Gomez wrote:...touch on my own high point (i.e. when I laugh) and... Huh? I thought the idea was to touch her on her high point, instead of my high point. You tell me, you're the intern. Correct me if I'm wrong. Honestly I just vaguely remember this from the Juggler manual and I think I'm just confused. I was thinking the wrong thing and mixed up "Kino her on her high point" with "Escalate on her high point" and in addition to that I mixed up "her" with "my". I literally checked my notes from the Juggler manual and there's nothing on kino. Yeah, THIS makes more sense actually. It may be why that gym guy inexplicably made me uncomfortable. He touched me constantly as he talked. But at the same time, touching someone on MY high point makes sense to me as well, because I have this tendency of reaching out and touching if I laugh hard enough.
USER : Miq Touching on your high point is natural. It's escalate on her high point. Touch on yours. Overall though, just make sure you touch her and escalate.
GENERAL : How-to on Kino? USER : primetime9 Hey everyone, I've been reading a bit more on the forums lately: field reports, general posts, bootcamp reviews, etc, and I've certainly noticed a lot of topics/people saying how important kino is. And to be very honest, kino is one thing that I'm really bad at. It just feels so awkward to me. And I want to know how to improve. Or maybe to even start in general. Pg 108
I've read reports about people touching peoples: shoulders, arms, hands, small of back, thigh, hair, rubbing legs, etc. during conversation and all I can think to myself is "how the he** are you touching these places and making it seem a natural part of the conversation?" How and when do you reach out and touch someone’s hair? Small of back? Thigh? Or any of these other places? What types of topics are you talking about when this occurs? I've got a BOOTCAMP! coming up in January but I don't want to waste the next month doing what I'm doing now which isn't working all that well. So I'd love some positive first steps that I could take in this department so that I can make some strides towards improvement BEFORE my bootcamp. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Specifically and in summary: 1) How to Kino on the approach? I've heard this is very important but I haven't read anywhere how to do this. 2) Even if I’m interested in what a girls saying, I rarely get so "excited" by what she says that I have an noncontrollable impulse to reach out and kino her. Therefore it feels like I'm faking it and that's what makes it feel awkward. How do I overcome this? 3) How long to hold kino? I heard that you're supposed to "hold" as opposed to "tap". Any clarification on this? 4) How do you kino these other areas I mentioned above? When in a conversation does this occur? 5) When not to kino? 6) What to do when sitting at a table such as for coffee on a first date? 7) Any other important kino tips?
USER : Stephen Hey, I wouldn't worry too much on individual techniques to work on prior to bootcamp. Just try to get in the habit of talking to lots of people so you aren't hobbled by AA. That said: 1) How to Kino on the approach? I've heard this is very important but I haven't read anywhere how to do this. With the back of your fingers on their elbow or forearm is one easy way. Like a gentle tap. Skip this if it doesn't seem natural by reading it. You see it done and it'll make sense. 2) Even if I’m interested in what a girls saying, I rarely get so "excited" by what she says that I have an noncontrollable impulse to reach out and kino her. Therefore it feels like I'm faking it and that's what makes it feel awkward. How do I overcome this? Don't fake it or do things that make you feel awkward. 3) How long to hold kino? I heard that you're supposed to "hold" as opposed to "tap". Any clarification on this? It depends. Go to a meat market type bar and watch how guys touch girls (or girls who aren't getting creeped out, anyway). People touch each other all the time, it's normal. If you start thinking about it too much it can get weird and you turn into Creepy Kino Guy. Which is OK, if you have to go through that period to learn, but you're going to a BC so you don't. 4) How do you kino these other areas I mentioned above? When in a conversation does this occur? On high points where it's justified, (briefly) when she's distracted, or when it's natural. You can't learn this on a forum, you have to feel it out (nyuk) and observing people helps. Non-PUA's kino, of course, so anywhere you see guys meeting woman you should be able to see at least the basics from socially calibrated people. Pg 109
5) When not to kino? When it's not normal. 6) What to do when sitting at a table such as for coffee on a first date? Be normal. Don't worry about not being able to kino across a table. It's not like baboons picking ticks off each other before they mate. 7) Any other important kino tips? The more comfortable you are talking to strangers, the more natural kino will be. Unfortunately, many guys don't want to talk to "people," they want to talk to hot girls and bed them. But they don't know how to have a conversation, so they look for things to practice. But they want techniques, not boring stuff like being told to talk to people, even though that works.
USER : dR This is a great question on Kino because it’s so critical to building comfort which allows escalation. When I open, I like to put my hand on her side and wait for her eye contact, and then I smile before I ever open my mouth. I like to have a bit of a kino progression during my mid-game interaction: usually I will hit her drink with my drink as a sign of a reward, then I progress to high fives, then to hugs, then to try to touch the hair or caress the face if I’m feeling it. To me hugging is my favourite kino move....I love to hug, it’s such a warm and friendly Kino to do that typically afterwards any resistance from her is evaporated.
USER : primetime9 Thanks Stephen and dR for your replies. You both always seem to put a lot of thought and effort into your responses and that really makes them stand out and makes them very informational and helpful. I went out this weekend and tried to focus more on kino, and I think I may have made some improvements. I tried the back of my fingers on her arm when first opening and (to my better judgment at the time) left them there for a few seconds longer than I normally would (I would use to just barely tap their arm, if I kino'ed at all before). I also used some kino on my high points after she said something interesting as a reward and it seemed to go fine. I'm not sure if I noticed a noticeable difference than some of my previous less-kino interactions but I think that's primarily because I was winging for a friend of mine and frankly wasn't too interested anyways, so during the approximate 15 minutes of conversation my desire to escalate the interaction wasn't there and my commitment was waning. dR, I will try out some kino progression as well. Some high fives and drink-clinks might make my interactions a bit more fun to boot, which is something I need to do better at! Stephen, you're probably right on about simply being comfortable in social interactions. I do need improvement there. I've only really officially started approaching on a regular basis since I moved down to the city. So that’s been about a month and a half for me. Give me a full year, a bootcamp, and a few hundred more approaches and I'm sure I'll look back on this conversation and think "What, I didn't know how to do that!?" Pg 110
USER : Bryan In addition to the excellent advice above, I would like to add: 1) How to Kino on the approach? I've heard this is very important but I haven't read anywhere how to do this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DYn4-h3Cnk 2) Even if I’m interested in what a girls saying, I rarely get so "excited" by what she says that I have an noncontrollable impulse to reach out and kino her. Therefore it feels like I'm faking it and that's what makes it feel awkward. How do I overcome this? If you're interested in or can relate to what she says, just reach out touch her... even if it feels fake. BE Creepy Kino Guy. I find myself that guy once in a while. I don't care... it just shows I'm pushing the limits of what I am congruent with and thus calibrating myself to be more outgoing. It happened last time I went out, in fact. Bleach blonde said with a straight face, "why are you touching me so much". I thought it was funny. I was proud of myself that she said that. I replied: "I can't help it, I'm a touchy-feely person". I felt comfortable, we had rapport, nothing mattered. As for being excited... as Stephen says, don't fake it. But also remember that it IS attractive to be EXPRESSIVE. But don't sweat that at all at this point, just know that with experience your comfort level will rise and expressiveness will come AUTOMATICALLY. 3) How long to hold kino? I heard that you're supposed to "hold" as opposed to "tap". Any clarification on this? Well, for one, if you are pressing the back of your hand on her deltoid to get her attention, then hold it there until you have her attention. (ie until you have EC) 6) What to do when sitting at a table such as for coffee on a first date? Pull your chair side-by-side next to hers if practical. Then you can easily brush your leg against hers "accidentally/incidentally" or place your hand on her wrist when you relate to what she says. Or if you HAVE to sit across from her you can 1) touch her hands, 2) put your foot beside hers with gentle contact, 3) don't even worry about kino & enjoy the damn tiramisu! dR wrote: When I open, I like to put my hand on her side and wait for her eye contact, and then I smile before I ever open my mouth. Yeah, I think this is like I do... with the back of my hand I apply gentle pressure to her upper outer arm until she turns and gives me eye contact. After I transition to personal (by swapping names, showing direct interest, or asking personal OEQs) I use the palm of my hand from there out.
GENERAL : Belly Kino explanation? USER : Fawkes I’ve been hearing a lot of talk about "belly kino", but I’m a little confused about the proper way to do it. Can anyone explain to me the CA way to belly kino?
USER : Nonstopdrivel You touch her belly. How you touch her belly depends on the vibe between you (how your personalities mesh) and the overall context of the interaction. If you're being silly with her, belly kino might be grabbing her and tickling her breathless. If you're flirting with her, belly kino might be pushing her away teasingly, then pulling her back. If you're starting to get intimate with her, belly kino might be massaging her belly in a slow, circular fashion. Pg 111
If you're gazing at the stars and you're standing behind her with your arms around her waist, belly kino might be softly caressing her belly with your fingertips just below the waistband of her panties. If you're in the middle of hot, hard sex and she's just about to get off, pressing deep into her belly right over her ovaries is often just the ticket to send her into a screaming orgasm. Where you touch her isn't all that important, though in my experience, it's most arousing for her when you're stroking her roughly over the area where her ovaries are located (i.e., between her hips and navel). Rubbing her over her uterus (i.e. down near her mons pubis) also tends to make her melt. Don't overthink it. Just touch her.
GENERAL : Kino. USER : Sickbay Hand 6%
Arm 48%
Survey Results : What parts of her body do you kino most often? Leg Back Neck Shoulders 3% 18% 6% 15%
Ass 3%
Kino a LOT we hear that all the time. However can anyone say something more specific/subtle? in my experience , the kino a lot is not so effective because it seems forced and girls noticed.[maybe I'm not doing it right?]. it's weird because they notice and I wonder why, cause I'm tryin' to kino naturally[of course I force myself to it, I'm not such a touchy person.]. so what are your advice about that? how can I make it seem more...natural?! and how can I really make it work for me?
USER : Rob Touch none of those places you mentioned at first. Touch her on the belly. It's like a physical SOI.
USER : doublepoppa Does that depend on where you are though Rob? Yesterday I was on a Day 2 with a girl. I was able to do some cross table hand touching and holding for a bit, but I don’t think reaching across the table to touch her belly would’ve worked out to well. I did make sure to get some belly kino in at the end but for most of the date we were positioned in situations where the belly kino would have been awkward. So correct me if I’m wrong but I’m gonna categorize these as how I feel when I deliver them. Arm/Upper back/Shoulder = Platonic kino that is attractive Belly = SOI I like you more than friends I feel that lower back and face could be put here if done the right way. Legs/Butt/Hair/Neck = Sexual escalation Things are on and she is comfortable with you. So these places amp up her arousal. Now of course some of these depend on context. A slight touch on the leg when you are sitting next to each other doesn’t mean too much and can be classified as platonic. Standing in between her legs and rubbing them slowly up and down I would classify as escalation.
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USER : Sickbay Belly :) nice rob. so what else can you say doublep? what about kino escalation? the idea that kino progression gets her on doesn't ring good to me. like the more I touch her, the more she'll want me. that's bulls--t I think, so what's the mechanics that makes the kino work? is it based on the...illusion[at least] of familiarity..comfort? or is just something that structures what people naturally do when they like each other, and the body interprets the signals in reverse. he touches me, I touch him, I like him. not---> I like him, I touch him. what do you think?
USER : Rob doublepoppa wrote: Does that depend on where you are though Rob? No. Arm/Upper back/Shoulder = Platonic kino that is attractive Wasting time. You're just confusing her if you keep touching her here. Belly = SOI I like you more than friends I feel that lower back and face could be put here if done the right way. The belly - it's flirting. The rest just confuses her. You shouldn't be sitting across from her on a date anyway. I'm sure Tim taught you better.
USER : doublepoppa Ok let me clarify. On this day 2, we were at Starbucks sitting outside. They have two chairs and a table. I met this girl from an online dating website that I have been working with lately. So I figured that pulling my chair next to her would be very much awkward for the both of us and perhaps a bit pushy. After that we were in the mall walking around and talking. I would go into stores but as we are walking and talking its weird to reach over in front of her and kino her belly. So I saved the belly kino until the end of the date when we were talking by our cars. I verbally SOI'd before that and used kino otherwise. She described herself as shy and "the opposite of her promiscuous friend". Add to that the fact that we're meeting from online. I think I escalated as much as I could without scaring the poor thing off. What do you think?
USER : xrt3 Rayne wrote: and rob. what do u say when u touch her belly? what's your motive? let's say that she goes to gym, an she just told u that.... "so I assume u have pretty good abs" and just touch them.... "Nice earrings" and touch her ear.... Also u can touch her when u're both laughing at a good joke..and make that joke preferably sexual.... that's the point, kino at high points! Escalate the same!
USER : funkytown Belly! just awesome rob, I've never tried that initially before. Pg 113
Just to clarify; is it the 'hip' area that I'm aiming for, or the middle? Hip area could be very natural for me... but I might find the middle kind of strange... I’ll have to give it a test if that's the case.
USER : mixer28 I have tried this out in a few environments in a few countries and it is great kino. I think this probably one of those things you don't want to over analyze - just try it.
USER : degrassi Kino (well, physical touch - I didn't know it had a "name" until more recently) is something I've been working on specifically for a couple of years. Getting comfortable with touch and making it casual. I've really noticed results even in otherwise platonic environments - girls at work, for instance, that I wouldn't/don't want to do anything with we are much more flirty and I ascribe it almost completely to kino. That said, I've been impressed with you, Rob, in the occasional post I've seen from you around here, but this one puts you in the "you're awesome" category. Something simple and forceful as your reply here. Probably it's because kino is near to my heart (and hers?). I totally agree though. I use "casual" kino in opening with someone, as if to emphasize getting their attention, but after that if I'm "on" on a given night, I try to get to more interesting kino asap. From all the things I know I'm going wrong after reading the forums, I'm glad I at least have *something* headed in the right direction!
USER : Kat There's all sorts of reasons why kino is important. It adds to the connection, it encourages authenticity, it provides her a better opportunity to read your bulls--t level etc. This is why it is important in any type of relationship. In a sexually oriented relationship, there is also a physiological reason. Physical contact releases oxytocin. While in men oxytocin builds and then levels off, in women oxytocin just keeps building in the system. The more you touch her, the more oxytocin. The more oxytocin, the more turned on. The more turned on, the likelier the orgasm. Touching is key. If you feel uncomfortable touching someone in general that is an issue you should work on. If you observe, people who have wide social circles and are generally liked are more touchy. You can be respected without touching. It's next to impossible to be liked.
USER : CJMoney Kat used my key word - oxytocin! I love Oxytocin! Kino is important, but calibration is also important. Rob - I know that you're a master at pushing beyond the boundaries, you have the ability to plow where most men fear. Here is the thing - many women, no matter how hot have Body Dysmorphic issues to some degree or another. If you have not built proper rapport, you may creep her out touching her belly. She may think that her belly is hideous. It seems that heading straight for the belly would be a lot like skipping foreplay and going straight for the naughty bits. I would appreciate both Rob's and Kat's perspective on this. Pg 114
USER : cbd day- the arm then stomach night [club] – stomach
USER : Kat I was talking with Tim and Rourke about the whole belly kino thing. And what I realized is "belly" makes me think middle above the belly button, and in reality that's kind of awkward. What I think is really meant (and causes a better reaction) is the side of the belly. Between the belly button and the hips (right over the ovaries). And something I think I mentioned is that it's key to progress slowly, but constantly. I think Rourke has the right idea, but some of his phraseology is confusing. You do want to push until a girl says "whoa." They key is to not get upset that she did. Something Rourke did repeatedly in the beginning of our relationship was go right up to the line. And then he'd push it a little. He never totally crossed it, but he would regularly test it. Which meant the line moved regularly.
GENERAL : Day 2 or 3 ideas USER : Greg Have fun with it and let us know how it goes! And like Glove says, the escalation starts at the beginning. Make sure to progress from personal kino (shoulders, knees, etc.) to the good sexual tension areas - stomach, hips, thighs. Things should come together naturally if you do that. I usually get girls kissing ME first if I do this. Also make sure to make the escalation dynamic. Don't just escalate further and further along. Take steps back to make it interesting and create tension. Put your hand on her hips and look at her for a second longer. Then take a step back, move your hands away and talk about personal stuff.
GENERAL : Kino as reward USER : timbit Okay, I have thought of a little tactic, that I hope will allow me to use kino far more effectively. I talk about my thoughts and feelings about something, expressing and such. She reciprocates, and gives a unique and personal answer. I reward her by telling her what I like about her answer, and I kino her at the same time. But since that is two rewards, I turn away from her a little, like a mini take away. So I pull her in, and then push her away. I’m verbally rewarding her for her effort, using that verbal reward as a excuse to kino her, all the while retaining a balance of efforts, and rewards!!! shwifty!!, mixing relate reward with push pull. Does anyone else have any little cool things they do? I think that other than teasing her, building sexual tension, and flirting with her, there isn’t much more you really need, but I think that this is a cool little trick. I think If I do this enough times, I won’t even need to think about it, I will just do it naturally
USER : primetime9 Timbit, don't take this the wrong way but I think you're way overanalyzing this whole reward thing. Trust me, she's not "counting your rewards" in her head and will not be thinking "OMG he just kino'ed my arm and complimented me at the same time that's two rewards at once he's way too into me!" I barely do any push/pull, which is what you're talking about here, and I still have a lot of girls interested in me. Focus on what's really important when first trying to get better... being a good conversationalist, being confident and fun, leading, showing interest and escalating. You don't need all these little "tricks" to get better.
GENERAL : Escalation USER : Lyrix Pg 115
So I've been reading a lot about escalation. Indeed it seems like JM is centered around escalation. Platonic to personal to sexual. I feel like I'm doing pretty good so far. My real question is escalating to physical. And quickly. So we're talking and we've moved into that sexual/flirty/playful vibe. What now? How do I get that make out session I've been dying for since I saw her (fifteen mins ago).
USER : Greg Hey Lyrix, There are two escalation paths that happen simultaneously through the phases (platonic, personal, sexual): Verbal Platonic -> Name exchange transfers from platonic to personal. Personal -> SOI transfers from personal to sexual Sexual Physical Platonic (conservative touching on the top of the arm or tip of the knee if sitting down. Done with the back of the hand. Personal (touching should now move to anywhere on the arms, upper back, outside of legs (if sitting). Sexual (touching becomes "purposeful" - leave your hand for longer and look her in the eyes. Neck, lower back, inside of thighs, feet, face, hair, ears). To escalate quickly make sure to find out her logistics, have a strong vibe and use sexual escalation tools like sexual barriers, physical push-pull and sexual foreshadowing. Also, pay attention to how she reacts to your kino. If you go up to her, introduce yourself and then put your arm around her shoulder briefly, and she moves into you (or better yet jumps in your lap which I've seen happen), you're good to push through to sexual pretty quickly. If she's hesitant or moves back you'll need to take a step back and focus on the personal phase, find out her logistics and then escalate.
GENERAL : Kino on a date USER : Taras Here's something that's been happening to me lately... I'll meet a girl, we might hit it off, but for whatever reason things don't get physical even though I S.O.I. and generally try to make my intent clear. I get the number... spend a bunch of time with texts and phone conversations... then finally set up a meet. I will usually schedule things during the late evening and in the past have taken the girls to either the go-kart track, a hookah place, or a quiet bar/lounge. Now if things are going well and I get a few obvious green lights I might S.O.I. again, do a sexual barrier, and later somehow stumble my way into a kiss. HOWEVER, there are also those times when I don't get those green lights (even if I've done a verbal S.O.I.) and feel like I have to somehow build my way up to that moment. I wonder if maybe I'm not being aggressive enough and I'm also guessing that kino has a lot to do with making this sort of thing happen. So my question is: given the circumstances I just described, how do I move things along to a kiss on a date? Pg 116
Also what do I have to do to turn up the heat with a girl who doesn't look like she's willing to play ball yet? And when is the best time to start laying on the kino once I meet up with the girl? How early on? How much? I'm really just looking for a general outline for how to do this sort of thing better.
USER : Buggie Taras wrote: So my question is: given the circumstances I just described, how do I move things along to a kiss on a date? some people- men and women- don't like to kiss on the first date. or the second. period. sometimes you have to wait. but I would suggest not going for a first kiss in public, or at least not "really" in public. And you have to look at the person and not take your eyes off them. And yes, kino. Hand holding is often good for a step before a kiss. Taras wrote: Also what do I have to do to turn up the heat with a girl who doesn't look like she's willing to play ball yet? Why would you want to? She either doesn't want to kiss you or doesn't know whether or not she wants to kiss you. When it seems like she's "willing to play ball," THEN kiss her.
USER : Nathan P I don't usually kiss on the first date. I usually just keep good eye contact, give them a hug or whatever, and with a little twinkle in my eye, and while still close, I say something like, "I had a really good time, thanks for going out with me. I'll talk to you soon." Meh that's not one of my better lines but I can't think of anything right now. In general, my dates are pretty fun and there's no question she enjoyed it, so going for that awkward kiss at the end is just silly to me. It's much better to leave her wondering and wishing she could kiss you, then when you call her up for the next date, she'll be even more excited. At that point I try to get the kiss in the middle of the date at some point. If not, it'll definitely happen by the third. If she's not willing to kiss by the third, then she's either a prude or not interested.
USER : dirkmanley Why are you waiting for a green light? If the light stayed orange forever, would you stay or would you go? It's only don't go for red lights. Everything else is go or go before it turns red. As for the second part, the sooner the better. If she's not into you, it's better to find out in the first five seconds than it is 5 dates in. Touch her not because she gave you an okay to do so. Touch her because she didn't stop you from doing so
USER : robert j Hi Taras, I think you are absolutely on the right track. Based on my own personal experience, I think kino is CRITICAL to the first date. But I think that the kino should "be strategic" or have a purpose. And what I mean by that is this: During the first interaction I will incorporate kino, but it is light and gentle. A hand on her forearm, or the back of the hand on her arm, something like that. During the date I kino differently. When we are seated close to each other my hand is now on her knee or thigh. Much more intimate than say on her forearm. And when is the best time to start laying on the kino once I meet up with the girl? How early on? How much? Pg 117
In regards to your questions specifically, I say as soon as possible and as much as possible.
USER : GK Taras, I came up with a simple progression on my first dates that pretty much always led to a makeout during the date. Logistics won't always allow it, but it goes a little something like this: 1. I take her someplace with sex appeal and without distractions (a chill bar, the beach, etc.) 2. As I get to know her better, and she does more to gain my attraction, my touching gets increasingly more sexual. She makes me laugh, I take her hand. If she's turning me on somehow, I tell her so as I leave my hand on her thigh or lower back. I'm also making longer eye contact with her and pausing. 3. I stop doing all this for a little while. 4. Then I do it again, but more so. I'm also teasing her, at which point I'm also bringing her in physically. I'm usually caressing her hand right before the kiss. 5. I make out with her during the date (not at the end!) after planting a sexual barrier. And yes, talking about the people around you is a great way to do that. Most of the time she talks me into kissing her at this point. Don't think women are averse to making out in public. Most love it. And more important, so do I. Some key points here: *Verbal SOIs are fine and dandy, but touching her sexually and kissing her will show your interest even more. *There are no traffic signals to watch for. You decide when the light is green based on what she's done to make you want to touch/kiss her. Don't be reactive. Just take action.
GENERAL : Got a number got a time for a date, what now? USER : ShyFratGuy Hey everyone, I am new to the forum. I have seen a lot of really good posts and I was hoping I could get some of your professional advice. I have always been really shy but that wasn't the case last weekend at our Halloween party. I met this sexy Goddess with a go-go dancer friend whose goal was to be a cock block. Well despite being plenty inebriated I knew I needed to win over the friend. Well it worked, the friend tried hard to get me and the goddess together after that. Well it stayed innocent that night, I made my intent clear, we danced, I spent all night with my arms around her, she even crawled into my bed but it was after we were both dead from a long night so I just passed out with my arms around her. Anyway I tried talking to her the following days but she is incredibly shy when sober but I called her up about hanging out at another party this Friday. She had to pass because she will be out of town, but she agreed to let me take her out Sunday evening. This is really a second first impression since Halloween is a big blur so I need some ideas of what we can do and how I can make her break out of her shell. Thanks guys!
USER : Greg Hey ShyFratGuy, I agree with Robert; keep it simple. The date should be about the two of you. Find a nice, quiet lounge were the two of you can get a drink and talk. Do some scouting and find a place that will allow you to sit next to her (bench seats, couches, etc.) so that you can use the ever-important kino that Robert is talking about. Pg 118
The key is to make her comfortable by relating and talking about yourself while at the same time asking her open-ended questions. At the same time you'll want to escalate with kino by touching her on the arms and then, as the night progresses, moving to her knees and thighs (assuming you're sitting down). I like to go for the kiss within an hour or so. If it helps you feel comfortable use a sexual barrier ("I would kiss you right now but the bartender is staring at us", or whatever works). Most importantly have a good time! If you're having fun, so will she.
GENERAL : Kino 101? USER : Peppermint Gomez Basically I'm asking, HOW can I learn kino? Kino just seems so important, and may be more important than even the proper body language. So I'd like to be a well-oiled kino machine. I? Don't touch at all however so I don't even know what effortless and natural kino LOOKS like. I'd like to know if you guys can go and recommend me a movie to get an idea of what that is like. One thing I am doing is being aware of how other people kino. Everytime I'm out and about I try and make note of how friends and lovers approach and touch one another. I'm also imagining how I would feel if a girl touched me a certain way. If in my mind, her touching me a certain way is comfortable to me, then probably my touching her in that same way will be comfortable for her (Okay, maybe not exactly.) In addition I think kino is hard to learn. It's the least discussed topic in the Juggler Manual and there are no comprehensive threads on this forum that I could find(there are many great ones on the other important topics like relating, or SOAs). Also, in contrast, I think learning vibe is a lot easier because there are a plethora of movies out there and suave actors whose body language one can mimic (i.e. Bond, Oceans). They're vibe is definitively cool as well. Who or what is a definitively well-oiled kino machine? Maybe going over what I know so far will help. Kino – Why? To quickly and effectively build comfort and trust. It's also quite enjoyable. If you don't kino, you're as good as invisible in the room. Who- Kino everyone, do it early, do it “effortlessly”. Where?- Depends, you can generally “kino esclate” (DiCarlo?) but at the same time, sometimes you can open with a hug, or even with a kiss. But usually shoulders, outside of the arm, elbow, for everyone and build up from there. When- Kino on my highpoints (When I laugh, when I tell her something personal) & kino as a reward (If she tells me a good joke or something). How? - This I can't really explain what to actually do physically. So far when I've tried it I've been a bit inconsistent. Sometimes I end up looking WHERE I kino and it becomes awkward. Sometimes I kino-sparingly (during meaningful moments)-- but I don't get kino-ed back. Perhaps at these instances it's a vibe/commitment issue. Putting it all together here's an imaginary scenario: Pepper: [makes eye contact with a girl in a gym] PilatesGirl: [looks away] Pepper: [Holds eye contact] PilatesGirl: [Looks up, Pepper smiles, she smiles. Pepper breaks eye contact for a second and walks over and looks again] Pepper:[While looking at her, touches her arm with the back of his hand] “Hey, I would've kicked myself later on if I didn't come over to meet you. What's your name?” Pg 119
Okay actually, I don't know whether I should go and reach over when I approach when we're holding eye contact already. I'm trying to imagine it and it feels awkward and unnatural when I do it in my head. Anyways, that's it for my scenario for now (Yeah, it's quite pitiful!). I will revise it as my understanding of kino changes.
USER : The Dandy Hey Pepper, For what it’s worth, I have rarely read such an important question put forth so well. Of course that doesn’t help you, but I thought you should know. I think the reason it’s not discussed more often on the forum is because, like vibe, it’s difficult to describe with words. However, I think it is a topic that should be discussed more. I think you should do two things. One, watch women. Touching is part of the female culture and part of how they communicate. Just pull up a seat somewhere and watch as many women conversing as you can. Watch how natural their touches are. That is how you should touch. Second, touch people. Pick an area. I recommend the shoulder area. With everyone you interact with, if an appropriate time comes up, gently squeeze their upper arm/shoulder area. Do this with both men and women. Don’t look first. Keep their eye contact. Don’t be obvious about it. Just something like “ha,ha, yeah” and squeeze. Or “yeah, I know what you mean” and squeeze. I remember I was in Ann Arbor at a bootcamp and one of the attendees was a guy that felt the same way you did. I had to make an effort to relate because it is so natural for me now but I encouraged him to try it. “I’m afraid I’ll get slapped” he said. So I showed him. He and I were walking up a stairwell to the upper floor of a club. We had stopped to talk about kino. Some women came up behind us and wanted to walk through us to get to the second floor. As they walked by I smiled and said things like, “of course, pardon us” and so on. I then touched the upper arm of one of the women and left it there as she walked past. He looked in disbelief. My point is that a woman I had never met didn’t react in any negative way as this stranger guided her through us with his hand. Don’t advance to any other area for now. Do this until it becomes part of you. I kino everybody and I have never encountered a bad reaction. Ever. If I kino a man, I use more pressure. If I kino a woman, I use little to the point where my hand just rests on their arm momentarily. Practice on people you are closer with at first if it will help.
USER : CabbagePatch Hey Pepper, I struggled with kino during my bootcamp, and I am still attempting to learn about it to this day, so I wanted to post what I currently feel about the subject. Some of the ideas below come from others, but I do not want to speak for anyone else, so I'll phrase them as my opinion. I think Kino should be an expression of your energy towards the person that is being kinoed. I make sure that when I kino, it is an attempt to express energy towards that specific person. The energy I am attempting to express could be something as simple as a warm vibe towards them, or it could be something as specific as my sexual interest in them. I am using kino to express something to someone, it is one of my communication tools. I feel that others accept that which is done with confidence and conviction as being natural. When I kino with confidence and conviction, I am usually received well. When I kino with trepidation and hesitancy, I think that others can sense the hesitation, and I am not received well. Pg 120
USER : CabbagePatch I'm currently working on non-verbal communication, and watching the movie below really helped me. I would say the male lead is pretty much 100% non-verbal. He barely says anything at all during the entire movie. It might not be what you're looking for, if you just want entry level kino. Title: Lie with Me Director: Clement Virgo Also, I'll repost a quote I got somewhere ... "If you are in an appropriate situation, after you deliver your statement of sexual intent crank up your KINO. Touch her for the sake of it feeling good. Sit side-by-side next to her and put her legs over yours. Tell her she has nice skin and touch her forearm. Tell her to close her eyes and kiss her."
USER : Peppermint Gomez Thanks Cabbagepatch, I'll definitely check out the movie. I've actually seen parts of the movie before, but just the sex scenes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZiGct2pSnU Actually I've heard of the movie before, because I was researching the "most sexiest films" made the other week but ending up picking out "Out of Sight" from the list of movies.
USER : dirkmanley Jurassic Park - Jeff Goldblum rocking it as Dr. Ian Malcolm feeling up Dr. Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern).
USER : CabbagePatch It's far better to have the problem of making an effort, doing it wrong and getting blown out, than to have the problem of never having made an effort at all. When I do things wrong, cross a line, and get blown out, I learn a lot. When I try something, and it works, I actually learn very little in comparison. I think this is because when I cross that line and get blown out, it helps me to calibrate. I hope you don't get the wrong impression here, I'm no Don Juan when it comes to kino. However, I do feel that my kino has improved significantly because I have pushed myself to do it consciously, crossed the acceptable line, and learn from my mistakes. lol, Looking back at the first sentence of this paragraph, I'm guessing your impression would actually be I'm the worst kinoer on the face of the planet =) ... It's not true though!!! I'm only the second worst on the planet, there's gotta be someone worse than me!!! =P Pepper, when you say that you NEVER touch anyone, I get the feeling that you are just as I used to be ... I think you should really consciously push yourself to kino. I think that is the only way I was able to improve. I know you can get past this obstacle Pepper, good luck to you, whatever you decide to do.
USER : The Dandy Rob used to say something I never forgot. "Let the field calibrate you." So, basically, go out there and mess up and you will be nudged socially to get it right after each failure. ………… I will go one step further. Only kino men. You read that right. If kinoing women intimidates you, kino men just to get an idea of how it's to be done without all the anxiety that comes with the feel of soft, perfumed skin. Men are so terrified of being perceived as gay that we barely touch each other anymore. In previous Pg 121
generations, it was acceptable for men to grip a shoulder or leave their hand on a man's back while talking. If you can kino with confidence, you will stand out to everyone in a room, especially women. If you kino everyone, women will see that you are not a perv (at least not in public) and trying to cop a feel out of desperation. You will put people at ease and women will find that attractive.
USER : CabbagePatch Hey Dandy, I think I already know what you're talking about, the difference between purposeful kino and what I'll call temporary kino, in which I touch, and then immediately remove my hand... Thanks for pointing it out though! I think I'll be alright on this =) Finally, regarding the kinoing of men. I'd like to give two examples. Example 1: I've got this 6'1", over 200 pounds coworker who I will refer to as a natural. Every time he sees me, he walks up, says "Hey! What's up man!!!" and then slaps me on my back so hard I think I'm gonna cough out a lung. Do I think this is weird? Not really ... I think he's just being ridiculously confident, which he IS. Example 2: I have a friend I'll call D. At the start of December, he makes a goal that he wants to number close before the end of the month. One week into December, we go clubbing and he number closes. That night we eat at a cafe. I sit at the edge of the table. To my right is D. Immediately in front of us is my female friend, and her boyfriend. They know D has number closed, cause they saw him in the club. D says to them "Actually I didn't ask for her number, she just volunteered it." As soon as I hear the above, I pick up my right hand, pull it back, and firmly slap D on his back. My right hand then goes onto his shoulder. I raise my left hand, point at D, and I say "Duuuuuddddeee!!!! .... listen to this guy man," with a big old smile on my face. As I say this I use my right hand to move his shoulder side to side. What type of energy am I attempting to communicate to D? Mainly I am trying to communicate to him that I am extremely proud of him, but I'm not going to communicate this on the verbal channel, I’m going to use the non-verbal channel, through kino, vocal tone, energy level, and facial expression.
FIELD REPORTS : What kind of art do you do? (based on a true story) USER : hot karl Now I looked at your post after I wrote this and realized this was a night time interaction. In that case you should already be holding her before you have said anything. What I mean by that is wrapping your arm around her lower back pulling her into your body. Like this...
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I realize that I do this to every girl that I talk to at night and that she invites it. I think girls enjoy this type of dominance from guys, it shows that you aren't afraid of touching/embracing a female which means that you are comfortable with being around women, comfortable with leading and leading to sex... all things she likes in a guy. Also... don't be afraid to escalate quickly with a girl at night.. as long as it is justified you can do anything. Hell... my justification for my five make-outs last night were two things: they are pretty and it is New Years. That's it. I grabbed them, made out.. done. Girls want that.
USER : hot karl Ogre wrote: I'd have to say that in general I'm not a big fan of the grabbing girls and quick makeouts though. I don't know why, but I don't find it smooth. I'm glad you don't find it smooth. I think my style is like my smoking habits. I hate smoking and think it is disgusting, however I find myself doing it every time I go out. However, I do think grabbing girls like that is good. That is just natural for a man to do that to a girl and for a girl to like it. It's in our blood, male/female polarity. Girls want a dominant man, they want sex, they want to be led. If you're not comfortable with this type of kino during interactions with girls, start small. Touch her on her upper arm and then upper thigh. And then lower back at times. Then back of her head and bottom of her chin. Then kiss her. I think kino with a girl is like sex to me. I am so used to doing the regular stuff that tying her up and smacking her butt is normal everyday stuff. So I go for the grabbing, holding, and embracing; and since I am so apparently comfortable with it, so is she. It's not anything unusual to me, so it won't feel weird or unusual to her.
FIELD REPORTS : Use your powers for Good! USER : MarathonMan The more I practice and work on Charisma Arts the more I begin to feel like a superhero. Remember the movie Superman when Clark Kent outruns the train and his dad tells him "It's seems like you've been showing off. Just because you can do something it doesn't mean you should" I'll start from the beginning: I decided to start doing night game on my own since I haven't found a wing yet and my job allows me to do about 2 hours of day game a day. My plan is to go for at least an hour a night on the weekends to a different club until I find the most target rich environment. On Saturday the club I went to was dead but I opened a couple mixed sets for practice and left. On Sunday I went to a bar I've heard a lot of construction workers talk about as a good place to meet women. I wasn't expecting much what with it being Sunday but I'm determined to get good at this. I got there at about 10:30 and walked straight to the bar without looking lost (a tip from my friend Rob) and ordered a water. It was karaoke night and I started to scope the crowd but it seemed to be all couples or groups of guys, and I wasn't really into opening guys for practice. I decided I'd stay for at least an hour no matter what. I had actually sat near a couple of ladies I wasn't really that interested in (I've posted elsewhere my proclivity for college girls) but what the hell I need the practice. I move into the seat next to them and open with something about the guy singing Unchained Melody or some other song that no amateur should do and they open easily. Spend a second on Karaoke and move on to I statements, tell the story of me, get them talking about them. One is sort of married and a hair stylist and the other is a flight attendant in training who just got out of a 6 year engagement. Pg 123
I'm not that in to her but I decide to see how far I can take it. I begin kino after saying something funny. If I can get a girl to laugh I kino her by giving her bicep a gentle squeeze and then release with a stroke up to her shoulder down to the elbow. It gets loud so I move in a little closer and turn so I'm facing them directly. Now my foot is on the rung of the targets chair and my arm is around the back of her chair. I ask open ended questions and vacuum rewarding her for her answers and SOI. Now it's getting to the point where I'm curious just how far I can take this because I'm really not that attracted to her. She is nice looking with a nice body but as Timmy D pointed out to me I am very picky. I decide to see it through and begin some heavy kino by lightly stroking her back where she has some skin exposed. After about minute she leans in and whispers "That feels so good". Always a good sign. I make it a reward system when she does something to contribute, I rub her back and tell her how sexy it is. Soon she tells me how much she loves her leather pants and I rub her leg and tell her how cool they are. I lean in and whisper in her ear, "Is your friend going to freak out if I kiss you?" She says "I'm not going to kiss you in the bar" I'm finally learning calibration, I don't argue with her or talk her into it I just say "That's okay" and kind of push her away " Maybe I don't want to kiss that much anyway" and then pull her back in. In goes on kino, SOI , escalate. I lean in and whisper "Is your friend going to be upset if you go home with me?" "No, but how do I know you're safe?" "Have your friend follow us to my house then she'll know where I live" "Okay" And there it is. I bring her home and you guys can guess the rest. So here’s the superhero part. If you do Charisma Arts properly almost any women can be gotten so be careful going in. Be sure when you "practice" you want who you might get or be prepared to eject because chances are she's yours.
FIELD REPORTS : FR: Over-Kino? USER : Doc Holliday This weekend, one of my oldest friends was in town with his wife. With Saturday night upon us, I wanted to take them somewhere with some “wow” factor and send them back to Jersey with good memories of my city. So I made the choice to brave the velvet rope rigmarole and sallied forth to the rooftop bar at the Standard Hotel. I've noticed lately that everything changes when I'm warmed up. I've thus made an effort to start as early as possible. I made friends with our neighbours in line (a cute latina girl, her BF and small entourage.) I ran into them at several points throughout the night. After the first set in the club, I was connected and present and any lingering approach anxiety went away. The concept of making only “One cold approach” really hit home for me that night. Beyond any outright utility, “social proof” and the like, knowing other people in the environment made me more comfortable and probably helped give myself permission to open other groups. I had set up my friends on some couches beside another group (mixed set) we befriended. It was important to Pg 124
me to spend time with them as well as taking my own to explore and having this home base helped tremendously. (Later on, I was able to transform one of the guys in the group into an impromptu wingman...) So on to the matter at hand. On my way back from the washroom, I spied a hot blonde latina with creamy-smooth legs sitting relatively alone on one of the plush stools across from a row of couches where a fellow was sitting-- part of the same group, but too far away to reasonably be her BF. I went right over and crouched beside her. I kinda surprised myself here. No hesitation or AA. My conscious mind didn't even register a good look at her. I was just there. The first act happened so quickly, many of the details escape me. I believe I asked her what they were here celebrating, or somesuch. They were here on account of a friend-birthday, I think. I introduced myself to the guy and went right back to her. I have a fleeting memory of clearing him as a logistical barrier somehow. Within a few minutes, he had gotten up and left. (Yay natural isolation...) During our initial conversation, I caught her looking off-stage a number of times. Me: I noticed you looking off a few times, is you boyfriend coming over to kick my a**? No. She's just checking in on her friends. No boyfriend. She just got out of a four year relationship. (Sweet, I think. The road is clear.) I tell her I am single-- that I am enjoying meeting new people but not looking for something serious now. (I don't feel I am yet completely comfortable/congruent talking about this. I think I do okay here, but I'm conscious of a residual belief that if I'm not promising a girl a committed relationship I'm some kind of a**hole.) But none of this seems to matter as the next thing that happens is her asking me if I want to go sit down on the couch. Dammit, that should have been my line, I think, but cool that she is taking this opportunity to escalate. Her classy alibi is that she' s concerned that my legs are getting tired from all this crouching. I stand up and do my best to lead her over the couch, thanking her for her concern for my well-being. So I had begun the kino in act one-- light touching on the knee/ shoulder. Now that we're on the couch, I know I can turn up the volume. For most of what followed I had one hand on her knee and the other around her lower back.... I know we're not supposed to be counting IOIs, but for what it's worth I notice as we are talking that she is stroking and playing with her hair which I interpret positively and find encouraging. She asks me what I do for a living. I say something flippantly DQ like “garbage man” or somesuch (don't really remember...) She lights up. HBSmoothness: No WAY. I don't believe you. Guys who are successful always say that because they don't want girls to like them for what they do or get take advantage for it. I pause....and then “Yes, that's absolutely it.” She laughs. I tell her what I really do and ask her what her work is. She says she works at a vitamin store. Me: You shouldn't have told me that. Now I am going to relentlessly use you for nutrition advice. She laughs. Time to go deeper. (I've been pushing myself to make positive presumptions. Decide to go textbook on this one.) Pg 125
Me: What kind of art do you do? She demures: Me? Art? No. Hm. You strike me as being creative, I was wondering how it showed up. I don't remember her response, however I do remember feeling like I was done playing twenty questions. I deliberately said this very slowly with ample pauses and direct eye contact. Me: I WANT YOU... to TELL ME... what you're PASSIONATE ABOUT. As the words came out, I was surprised by how powerful they felt. Modelling. She's just started modelling. I relate on this by describing my handful of experiences watching fashion shows-- in this case lower-end affairs with less-experienced models. I've always been fascinated by the difference between girls who had confidence in themselves, who acted like they “belonged up there” versus the ones who were unsure. Though both had the “raw materials,” the ones with confidence were inordinately more sexy. One of my friends who's a model told me she had directors backstage prepare her to step out on the runway. I ask her what she does to get prepared for a shoot. She says she just goes out there and does it. I tell her I find her bravery and confidence sexy about her. She smiles. Accepts it. (though I didn't really have a “what” standing by. I don't feel ready to kiss her yet-- the tension does feel quite there. Perhaps I should have gone for her number at that point?) But at this point, I feel like we should check back in with our friend, Kino. During all the above I had kept both my hands on her. Right on the knee, left on her back. Because of the deep cut and angle of the couches, I was lounging back with my upper body a bit further away than I would have liked. But it felt comfortable at the time. During the last part of act II, I had started stroking her back in little circles. I had been doing this for some time, it seemed, while we were talking and she didn't appear to be reacting to it...until she did. Somewhere after my SOI, she stops me-HBSmoothness: You're like stroking on me. It's making me uncomfortable. The train careens off the tracks. My hands fly off of her like they've been caught in her purse. I spurt out some barely-coherent apology “Sorry...Um..I like touching...I got carried away.” Okay, I thought. Setback. Just retreat and then re-escalate. We go back to whatever we're talking about. I think we were talking about photographers and I'm asking her what a good photographer does to make her comfortable. I re-apply my hand on her back-- but no stroking this time. She doesn't say anything. But I feel like its damage control at this point. I'm trying to ignore the derailed train and she's thinking about which lawyers to call to file a class action. Not too long after, she says she needs to find her friends. I get up with her, “I would like to see you again” (“Maybe we can settle before this goes to trial?”) HBSmoothness: Okay, I want to find my friends and then I'll find you and we can exchange numbers. Pg 126
(“No way, cowboy. You and your railroad company are going down...”) In retrospect, I wonder if there was a calibration issue here. I suspect I have a tendency to get too excited and rush things, which may have come into play. My problem before was not being physical enough. I feel oddly relieved that I discovered the opposite extreme, lived out my worst fear and survived to tell about it. I would appreciate any thoughts or feedback you guys may have. I've tried to be as descriptive as possible but realize that so much is body language, vibe and inflection. Where is that magic land between platonic and creepy?
USER : Vabs Doc Holliday wrote: I've noticed lately that everything changes when I'm warmed up. I've thus made an effort to start as early as possible. Yup...it's like night and day isn't it? It's almost like you 'forget' how to be social when you don't feel warmed up. On the other hand, the times that you do feel warm you think that it was there all along and you've always been good with people. Doc Holliday wrote: During our initial conversation, I caught her looking off-stage a number of times. Were your eyes wandering around the room at all too? Next time try and be aware of it. If you're nervously darting your eyes around looking to see if her boyfriend's coming, then it's going to make her nervous as well. It's your job to put her at ease. Keep your focus on her and try to tune everything else out, if you're completely comfortable with it chances are that she will follow. Think 'bedroom eyes' and focus on her. If it's going REALLY well then you will notice the two of you in a "focus bubble" where the people around you and the rest of the environment just seems to disappear. Doc Holliday wrote: My hands fly off of her like they've been caught in her purse. I spurt out some barely-coherent apology “Sorry...Um..I like touching...I got carried away.” Her comment threw you for a loop and you freaked out. At that point she can see how much you're affected and it's really hard to salvage and get back to non-weird after that. Maybe she really did mean what she said and felt slightly uncomfortable...you still can correct that by calibrating a little (releasing some tension by making a joke) but it's hard to recover once you're in apology mode. I know that when I get hit with a curve ball like that, I can actually feel a physical 'short circuit' kind of sensation in my body. The only solution I've found so far is that time in the field will make you more comfortable in general, and not as reactive to these things. Doc Holliday wrote: I feel oddly relieved that I discovered the opposite extreme, lived out my worst fear and survived to tell about it. Exactly...in terms of how much you can escalate and how quickly, you'll never know where that line is until you cross it. I'm not even 100% convinced that you did cross it here, she didn't get up and leave. In fact, I'm sure she felt more uncomfortable after your reaction than with the actual touching itself. Don't let this incident discourage you from being physical...not one bit. (I know that's easier said than done, but....)
USER : dR Statik wrote: I tell her I find her bravery and confidence sexy about her. She smiles. Accepts it. (though I didn't really have a “what” standing by. I don't feel ready to kiss her yet-- the tension does feel quite there. I loved how you were escalating the interaction. When my gut starts telling me I should kiss her, usually at that time, I like to throw out a SEXUAL BARRIER. Pg 127
I've found success with the SOI + SEXUAL BARRIER combo because it fulfils the two components of proper escalation: WHY (why you like her) and WHAT (what she can specifically expect or what you specifically want to do). For Example: I'll use your SOI. Doc: I find your bravery and confidence sexy. ( I would add how that makes me feel) I feel inspired to get up and walk the runway right now (I get up and act out being on the runway) Her : Laughs Me: How am I doing? (I give Kate Moss a run for her money) Her: Perfect! I sit back down, and take her hand. Me: (Sexual Barrier)I would love to kiss you right now, but I'm just getting to know you. (I say it like I mean it) Her: (smile) maybe later. What I like about doing this is, its let my intention be know without putting too much pressure on her to KISS ME NOW!! The idea of us kissing begins to marinate with her, I will back off with the sexual talk, but AMP up the sexual touching (or Purposeful Kino). If I don't kiss her at that moment, SHE KNOW I have Romantic intentions with her, and she will either "sign on" with me (as Wayne describes as "signing" the contract) or I scare her away with my Intentions. Thanks for the post Doc, keep up the good work. I'll see you next time, and keep working on SLOWING DOWN
USER : russian_torpedo Doc, I love your field report! Your detail and analogies make it really fun to read . The one thing that jumped out at me regarding the kino is sort of what Static said. Let it go for a bit. Wayne suggests that your escalation shouldn't be straight up, but should go back and forth, with the general upward trend. Two steps forward, one step back. This keeps things interesting, builds anticipation, and keeps her guessing. It also gives her a chance to Kino you. I also remember reading somewhere (I forgot from who, maybe Wayne) regarding kino to either touch lightly and a little bit at a time (like stroke the inside of her arm or hand) or go all the way (i.e. put arm around hip, back-rub, head message, etc.), but not in between where you're sort of continuously petting her. I tend to do this because I enjoy touching, but I found it doesn't get the best reactions from girls I just met. One girl thought I was a spider when I started stroking her back and recoiled. Keep them coming and I look forward to hanging out! dR, your Sexual Barriers are money!
USER : Rob Doc Holliday wrote: For most of what followed I had one hand on her knee and the other around her lower back.... That looks uncomfortable in my head. Kino should look natural, not like you're practicing something. But the problem was not with your kino, it was with your reaction: Pg 128
HBSmoothness: You're like stroking on me. It's making me uncomfortable. The train careens off the tracks. My hands fly off of her like they've been caught in her purse. I spurt out some barely-coherent apology “Sorry...Um..I like touching...I got carried away.” The train did not fly off the tracks. There would not have been a problem if you didn't act like there was one. Why did you jerk your hands off of her? Did you do something wrong? No. So what is the problem? Why are you apologizing? She was just teasing you. You should have started stroking her back more and played with it. "You mean like this?" stroke stroke stroke up and down "Or like this" stroke stroke stroke sideways I am noticing that a lot of guys keep apologizing for escalating. You guys have to stop that. Yes, there is a point of no return when you escalate, but instead of being afraid of it just cross it and own up to it.
THE UNOFFICIAL CHARISMA ARTS & JUGGLER METHOD FORUM http://www.setbb.com/charisma/
GENERAL Q&A : Getting sexual.. how? USER : Jarnik I think I'm improving.. this year I've dated 5-6 times more girls then in my entire life before.. The thing that bothered me before (getting personal) is becoming less and less of an issue (also, thanks to you guys). What bothers me now is... I'm getting personal, but in a platonic way. Every date is a long, long conversation where girls can't stop talking, are laughing here and then.. yes, sometimes I stutter or say something stupid.. but I'm being relaxed and "my usual self", and they like it. But.. "my usual self" has never kissed a girl - and it shows.. For e.g. last night, I'm sitting with a girl, drinking coffee. It's our second date.. We're talking about photography and "finding out who you are".. she's very passionate about the topic, and I definitively follow her.. She's sitting next to me (it would be more natural if she sat further), always looking at my face, playing with her hair all the time, her legs are crossed so that the bottom of her foot is facing me.. I'm aware of all this.. and I like this girl and think about kissing her. I understand I should "make a move" - state that I'm interested.. but, how do I do that? a) Start touching her - would feel totally unnatural since we never touch (except kiss on the cheek for hello/goodbye) - I never touch people when I talk (I know, bad) - except handshakes, so it's kind of awkward.. b) do it verbally - but that's also totally "off topic".. I can't imagine Her: ".. for some people, this search is a way to 'compensate', as you call it, by itself" Me: "mmmmm... you're ssooo hot.. come here.." LOL Any advice?
USER : Itotem You definitely need to get comfortable with touching girls while talking. If you need a quick guide, you can look up the Vin DiCarlo's Escalation Ladder eBook. Generally speaking, you may not feel comfortable touching her b/c you are standing/sitting too far from her. Pg 129
Make sure you position yourself within half an arm's length distance from her (elbow distance). In terms of getting used to doing it, try touching to emphasize things in your conversation. Basically, practice incidental kino. "I like that" - touch shoulder/pull them in "I got to tell you something" - pull her in/talk in her ear "Let me show you something" - grab her hand and lead her somewhere etc... When it comes to kissing, there are multiple ways to get there. If you know how to create sexual tension through body language, then she'll get closer and closer to you and you can kiss whenever you feel comfortable. However, since you haven't kissed before... be honest with her. The SOI, touch... and kiss is a good combination. But for you, maybe just letting her know what you are thinking can work (even if it's off topic). You can deliver it as a spontaneous moment when she tells you something significant about herself. It's all in the delivery. Her: ".. for some people, this search is a way to 'compensate'" Me: [look at her eyes intensely and lips back and forth as she speak] You know... You are so cute right now. All I can think of is kissing you but I don't know how. [let it sink in her as she's surprised... and play it by ear from then. If she doesn't kiss you, make sure you are now touching her/holding hands... or something]
PUA ARTICLES & LINKS : Understanding Sexual Kino USER : billmack Something happened to me last night than helped me understand sexual kino. I was piss drunk and talking to a girl. She was into me. I was into her. So I kissed her. She pulled away and told me I was ridiculous. Being piss drunk, I went for tongue right away. I went from 0 to 100 in one second and crashed. It helped me understand something: on/off. Basically, touch someone, then pull back first. Touch again, then pull back again. Keep repeating, increasing the length of time you touch someone and getting more and more intimate with your touching locations. No. It's not to build comfort, but it does. Its main purpose is to increase arousal intensity, to increase sexual tension. Soon, she'll be doing the same to you. If she initiates, you don't have to pull back first, but that can be fun if you show you're not afraid of touch, if you do it to show you're in control. But let her have her fun too. She's trying to up your arousal. Enjoy it. You increase sexual tension when you initiate then pull back first. Think of it as teasing. Don't be the guy that can only dish 'em out but can't take it. One good tease deserves another. I'm sure most of you knew this, but I was just able to verbalize it after last night's incident and had to share.
USER : billmack Well, if I've stopped and she won't restart, if I go back and start again, I've broken my kino vacuum. There are plenty of girls who do want to touch me, I'll find one of them. My body feels great. It's her loss. Pg 130
Me walking away from it shows non-neediness. But that's a last case scenario if I like the girl. Restart on her high point if you want to stay true to JM. You can help her create a high point by asking her a question or whatever. In her head, if you've been doing the reward on her high points thing, she'll give you a response worthy of a touch.
TP - FORUMS TECHNIQUES : The value of kino -- scientifically proven USER : jaxxon In case you needed proof that you should kino as soon as you get into a set, here it is: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1028120/The-s... The science of seduction: How a touch on the arm can increase a man's chances of finding love By Fiona Macrae Some men rely on corny chat-up lines, others hope good looks will do the trick. But when it comes to catching a woman's eye, little beats a winning smile and a touch on the arm. Research shows something as simple as a gentle brush of a woman's arm can boost a man's chances in love. A study found that two-thirds of women agreed to dance with a man who touched her on the arm for a second or two while making the request. When the same man kept his hands by his side while asking women to dance, his success rate fell by half. couple The art of seduction: Research shows that touching makes a man appear more dominant - and so more attractive and likely to find love. A light touch on the arm also made a woman more likely to give out her phone number when approached in the street. It is thought that touching makes a man appear dominant - and so more attractive. Those who can't pluck up the courage to reach out and touch the object of their desire could try smiling instead, Focus magazine reports. Aberdeen University research found that a well-directed gaze coupled with a genuine smile makes a person up to eight times more attractive to the opposite sex. Researcher Dr Ben Jones said: 'Smiling can make you more attractive but it is worth bearing in mind that faking a smile is quite tricky.' Those unable to smile on cue could try making simple changes to their appearance. 'Healthy skin has an enormous impact perhaps because it is an indicator of health in general,' said Dr Jones. Pg 131
'Recent years have seen an awful lot of evidence that lifestyle choices can improve your skin - eating healthily, being hydrated, getting enough sleep and not smoking.' A man can also make himself seem attractive by surrounding himself with women. Neil Strauss, whose book The Rules Of The Game instructs men on the art of seduction, said men could learn from a study of guppies, which found the female fish is more attracted to a male surrounded by other females. 'Even after those females have left, she's more attracted to that fish than one that's alone,' said Mr Strauss. 'So being around women who find you attractive gives other women a shortcut to finding you attractive.' He added: 'Women are attracted to the tribal leader, someone who exhibits those characteristics of status.' However, any man wanting to make an impression would do well to work out his seduction strategy in advance - research shows many women take only a few seconds to make up their minds about a potential suitor. Forty-five per cent of women taking part in a speed dating experiment in Edinburgh took less than 30 seconds to make a decision about the men sitting across from them.
TECHNIQUES : Techniques for Kino USER : playza You should check out this torrent - It is Pickup 101's Kino DVD rip. High quality in my opinion.
USER : MyWay As far as Kino goes, I'm pretty much a natural. Just start touching her casually, make a joke where you can place your arm on her lower back, then gently slide it off, and take a step back (remember: 2 steps forward, one step backwards). When you introduce yourself and you shake hands (while kissing her cheeks, at least that's normal in europe/holland)), hold her hand slightly longer (I push this to over a minute generally).I always start playing with their hair (I dunno why, I just like this heh), and from here it's pretty easy to just stroke her face once or touch her cheek.... (that's a nice freckle) or softly pinch her face, saying you find that funny and then make it up to her stroking that spot with the outer side of your index finger
USER : zgoditak7 Great kino technique for opening is to touch her with your hand on her arm. Shown in Charisma Arts Seduction School. You can also touch her with back of your hand (opposite of palm of your hand) in same motion, like you are playing tennis and hitting backhand. Touch her on her arms or legs with back of your hand and if she likes you she'll touch you back in same way (she'll ping you back). I don't know if we have a video showing this one. Also salsa classes are great way to learn some kino, especially how much force to apply so you don't come off as too week (very very bad thing) or too strong (you don't want to leave bruises or inflict her pain with your kino, this is even worse).
USER : joeypete Pay attention to escalation. Just like ur mood, convo and emotional connections can escalate so should ur kino. Pace kino escalation along with those other cues and movement upwards. Use the Juggler method pacing and escalation model and REWARD her with kino for her effort and use kino as Pg 132
part of total escalation. Physical escalation has its tempo... Pace then lead and reward her with ur touch. I had dinner with a TP member a few weeks back and we talked about kino. I had to think about how I really did it since it was so integrated in my whole game. My opening kino is by me touching both self and her at the same time. Then later just her. Quick EX: She tells me a joke. I put hand on my chest as I laugh and my other one on her arm and tell her it was funny. I touch later with the back of my had to her arm or leg depending on what we are doing. I have long hair and I play with my hair and make a comment about it needing to be tied back. I touch my hair and I brush hers right after with my hands/fingers and make a comment. I do the "ET" silly kino finger to finger touch with her... I explain to her how the finger tips and lips and toes are hyper sensitive compared to other body parts (like calves) due to more concerted nerve masses. We need these to sense the most with these body parts. I have her touch her fingers to her lips and then I do finger to finger touching. (my fingers to her lips too if the time is right) Do that move where u do a toast and hook ur arms into one another’s and sip ur drinks... The lower back when walking is natural and great. Hug hello, just put ur arm around her rib cage area when standing after she puts out effort to say good job.... Do arm brushing arm kino... I have her move closer to me on the couch at a club/lounge (I don't get creepy and nuzzle up to her- I have her move to me!) by telling her to move in. I even say not to be shy, that we human have been connecting and touching up against one another of millions of years and its okay to have a little fun person meets person contact. Kino has a 1000 forms to it... Just be cool with getting touched and giving touch. Do kino more with ur family, pals and co-workers (not sexual) to get into the habit of touching while talking/interacting. It will flow better with HBs when it is ur natural reflex to do when u 2 are engaging on a sarge.
TECHNIQUES : Easy kino USER : b0ob I would escalate into the kiss. Start from the cheek to the neck then to the ears. This way you will relieve yourself from the pressure. Once you lick the ears, it’s no holds bar from there, she'll be really turned on. Use this opportunity to tease her. Grab her and look her in the eyes, then down to her mouth and back up to her eyes, this will make her anticipate a kiss, but don’t give her what she wants. Then lightly graze your lips across her lower lips(its more sensitive) and go back to her neck and ears. She'll probably attack you by now. If she doesn’t attack you, you can give her what I like to call my one-two knock out your socks and fuck combo. This is how I do it. First you have your hand on the back of her head under her hair with her hair in between your fingers (you reach in from the side of her neck). Then I look her in the eyes, down to her lips and back up and then I go in slowly for a 2-3 second kiss combined with styles hair pulling technique. This will shoot out Pg 133
energy down her body and she'll get goose bumps. She will relate that to your kiss and you will be a king amongst her friends. So when can you do this? The easiest time is during a movie or while walking at night after doing something fun. Or anytime you're out alone and you are wrapped behind her. Since it is your first kiss and both of you seem inexperienced, it is important to be alone when going for your first kiss.
CHAT : Failure to Escalate Kino USER : Elimination I've made lots of improvement in seduction over the past year. I have a girlfriend now, and she's pretty attracted to me. My ONE PROBLEM is that I'm kicking myself, trying to get the balls to kiss her, and it's not working. I have never kissed a girl before, because for most of my life I haven't had a girlfriend or been attractive. So my final frontier is the whole kiss / making out / sex progression. The most likely reason this girl would break up with me is for failing to escalate the relationship. That is the WIMPIEST reason! I can do everything else, but getting out of my comfort zone has been a sticking point. Yesterday, I had the PERFECT CHANCE to kiss her, but I got paralyzed and couldn't do it. My current plan is to overcome this by getting a lot of experience, and working to become a more physical person - touching people more often. My other plan is to just KILL the INNER WUSS and DO IT.. but that hasn't worked so far. Sometimes you just have to step up and go for it - take a risk. That's easy to say, and not so easy to do. If anyone has gone through this before and MASTERED it, do you have any advice? It will happen eventually.. But I'd rather not go through a bunch of girlfriends before it does.
USER : Zephurus Dude, I have the same problem too, although I'm younger than you. My girlfriend tried to kiss me once and it was so sudden that I ended up kissing her chin :lol: I used it as an opportunity to playfully tease her about how we agreed that we would both lean right, but she leaned left and messed it up :-P But yeah, I would like to know how to get past this SP as well.
USER : Elimination have you kissed her since then? I think one way I could get over it would be to talk about it with my girlfriend, but that seems too wimpy. I've been avoiding that option so far. I'm listening to some seduction audio and it's still helping me out. It won't be long now.. within the month, I WILL go for it. I think going out daily and getting more experience with women (even talking) will make me more comfortable, and make it easier to do stuff like this. but I'm just disappointed that I didn't have the self-discipline to do it earlier.
USER : playza You make it sound like you are trying to climb Everest. Grow some balls and get it over with.
Pg 134
Remember that women WANT to be kissed, they WANT to be fucked and they definitely want you to be the man who is going to lead her through the whole process.
USER : TheDon I used to have a fear of kissing cause I never did it before, that’s normal I think and it’s all in your head, there’s nothing to fear and look up that kissing video upped here she’s your gf? dude just do it you do it once, it’s like bike riding you’ve mastered it get a nice makeout session going
USER : Darklo If she doesn't like the way you're touching her, ripping off her panties, or anything else, she will probably tell you. Who knows, she might just like whatever you're doing. If you're a pussy about it she's not going to tell you and you're going to get dumped.
USER : Elimination thanks for the advice.. I thought it would be "grow some balls", I was pretty much right. that's the thing. I want to kiss her.. she wants me to kiss her.. even her FRIENDS want me to kiss her. there isn't anything logical stopping me.. just the negative chatter in my head.
USER : Shibby86 What was said before: it isn't the mount Everest you are climbing, it is a kiss which is part of a relationship! so she is expecting you to kiss her at some point, that is also a part where you are generating attraction within her, very first in the beginning of the relationship (even before having her as a GF) because if you didn't kissed her while she was expecting it you show that you don't give in with all her (non-verbal) demands. But after some point in time you have to, but hey! don't see it as a bad thing and don't even see it as an obligation! It is all in your head. Hypothetical situation: -After some time you kiss her badly She: What are you doing? You: Kissing you! She: pff, that was a bad kiss You: Okey, you show me how to kiss probably (smile!) Also, try to use a kino on her hands, arms and shoulders a lot so she gets used to your touching to her, do it gently. After you did that a lot and notice she is relaxed you can touch her lips with your fingers, also very slow and gently while watching her in her eyes. If the relaxed moment and silence is there.....she will expect you to kiss her, without going to judge you. This all is my opinion about how I would likely behave in your current situation. You can do it man, you are THE MAN!
USER : Connaissance Pg 135
Most obvious advice is indeed to grow some balls. Come on. She is your GF already, why are you secondguessing yourself ? But since you asked...more hands-on advice. Try kissing something else first. For instance, hold her in your arms (I assume that's not a problem...right ?). Then while holding her, kiss her hair. Then kiss her neck. Then kiss her ear (you can kindly bite it too). Then keep holding her but push her away a little bit so you can see face, look into her eyes for a sec and FUCKING KISS HER.
USER : MyWay kiss her is part of the game, she indeed wants it. What you can do is either dance with her gently, cheek to cheek, then pull your head back and look her in the eyes. You are inches away from each other's lips. Now look down to her lips (or just look down, without moving your head) and look up in her eyes again, then slowly move forward. Bam...kiss. You can substitute the dancing for just whispering something in her ear, or maybe even kiss her on the cheek first.
USER : zgoditak7 Elimination wrote: that's the thing. I want to kiss her.. she wants me to kiss her.. even her FRIENDS want me to kiss her. there isn't anything logical stopping me.. just the negative chatter in my head. Well if you don't want to fight that negative chatter, but destroy it completely in one or two hours, listen to science of self-discipline, CD1 only, and do exercise for reframing behaviour. It can be applied to everything: procrastination from cleaning the garage, studying for an exam, sabotages from losing weight or fear from kissing a girl.
USER : zgoditak7 Elimination wrote: If anyone has gone through this before and MASTERED it, do you have any advice? It will happen eventually.. But I'd rather not go through a bunch of girlfriends before it does. Well I have gone through a similar thing - not touching people. I had very little or no kino whatsoever. I also had no idea how to go from not touch people almost never to touching them in natural (non creepy, non insecure, non nerd way). I have mastered it in 2 step process: First I have watched Juggler in seduction school how he touches people in a SIMPLE way that makes them think he is friendly and high status person. This took about 2 hours to watch seduction school and now I knew HOW to touch people. Next I have reframed my objections to touching people with science of self-discipline. I had some beliefs that were preventing me from touching people that I wasn't even aware first, like "Every touch is sexual", "If I touch men everyone will think I am gay", "If I touch women they'll think I hit on them"... I after I have reframed ALL of these beliefs (there were about 10 of them and it took about 2 hours to list and reframe them) I just went out to club where I knew I will know alot of people and I just did it. I have touched people like Juggler did in seduction school when I talked to them and they were more friendly than usual. I didn't need to grow some balls, but to put my subconscious mind on my side, so that it supports me touching people and not sabotage me touching people with negative chatter or fear or any other blockage. Pg 136
USER : b0ob Yeah, I agree with Conaissance. I would escalate into the kiss. Start from the cheek to the neck then to the ears. This way you will relieve yourself from the pressure. Once you lick the ears, it’s no holds bar from there, she'll be really turned on. Use this opportunity to tease her. Grab her and look her in the eyes, then down to her mouth and back up to her eyes, this will make her anticipate a kiss, but don’t give her what she wants. Then lightly graze your lips across her lower lips(its more sensitive) and go back to her neck and ears. She'll probably attack you by now. If she doesn’t attack you, you can give her what i like to call my one-two knock out your socks and fuck combo. This is how I do it. First you have your hand on the back of her head under her hair with her hair in between your fingers (you reach in from the side of her neck). Then i look her in the eyes, down to her lips and back up and then i go in slowly for a 2-3 second kiss combined with styles hair pulling technique. This will shoot out energy down her body and she'll get goosebumps. She will relate that to your kiss and you will be a king amongst her friends. So when can you do this? The easiest time is during a movie or while walking at night after doing something fun. Or anytime you're out alone and you are wrapped behind her. Since it is your first kiss and both of you seem inexperienced, it is important to be alone when going for your first kiss.
USER : SegaRob Get in close proximity, make FULL ON eye contact. Game over. Hornet that's the thing. I want to kiss her.. she wants me to kiss her.. even her FRIENDS want me to kiss her. there isn't anything logical stopping me.. just the negative chatter in my head. Alright so you already know this. Just do it man. However you do it you can't go wrong. Even if you fumble up a bit she already likes you it doesn't matter. She will think your shyness is endearing for a while, but if you don't escalate she will become annoyed and bitter. Btw, don't worry about not being a good kisser. Go to you tube and look up lesbian kisses :-) I want you to invite her out tonight and do it then post back to us. Good luck
USER : Elimination thanks for the additional advice. I think I figured out what made me mess up before.. I hadn't been escalating the kino - I was trying to jump into a kiss from no physical contact (I've held her before, hugged, put my arm around her, etc, just not leading up to the kiss) It would be a LOT easier to keep increasing it one step at a time.. moving on to a kiss. baby steps - instead of one giant leap. that was my problem. thanks zgoditak7, Connaissance, b0ob, and Hornet. PS - thanks shibby86 for that contingency plan, that gives me a good, solid response for the nagging in my head, "what if you mess up??"
USER : greese If you aren't kissing, she isn't your girlfriend.
USER : Elimination Pg 137
w/e greese.. I understand that way of thinking.. but she IS my girlfriend, even if relationships are a pointless concept without kissing / sex.
USER : Lawyer Hey man, How did it go? Next time though, the kiss should come before the relationship starts, or it gets all awkward for you and for her. The best thing you could do right now, if you haven't kissed her yet, is to kiss her. I believe not making a big deal out of it, or just having sex right away is your choices after you kiss.
USER : BaseX I have to tell you, I agree 100% with greese. If you are not getting anything physical, she is just a special friend, and you need to kiss her or have sex with her to go to the next level. Women have the same physical needs as men, If you don't feed her needs, she'll loose her interest in you. Kissing her is just a question of having balls. There are a few routines you can use, if you think that helps you. A trick I used in my first times, when I knew they were attracted to me, was kissing them when I was going to say goodbye (like in the movies). With time that becomes a lot easier. Don't think "I will read a lot of theory/routines, practice my talk with girls... and I will kiss her within a month". kiss her in the next date. If you don't kiss her, other guy will do it, so it's better that will be you. If you follow our advice your skills will improve really fast. act now!
USER : joeypete WOW! Jesus... Ur a Virgin, Yes? That’s cool... Take ur time with ur life do as u see fit. U are in control of u. U have a little off frame about being physical tho. Kiss her b/c u want 2 express joy with her and express joy to her. Dude, take her hand and kiss her hand. Can u do that? Good! After u kissed her hand hold it and smile at her... Say, "Awww, ur sweet You have that shy look to u now ." Laugh a little in a cocky way and then touch her face, still holding her hand, and move in and kiss her. Once on her lips and once on her neck. Pull back and say, "You're such a naughty girl!" Smile, laugh and take her head in both of ur hands and start to make out with her... That’s it! And after u kiss her she is not ur GF. A lady cannot be ur GF untill u FUCK HER! Kissing and handjobs and Blow jobs don't count- ur cock inside her ass or pussy and then u 2 can be BF/GF. Not till then. Get over this "Puppy Love" Bullshit... Define it however u want to tho... Have fun that’s what counts! Enjoy ur make out session and remember that there is no mistake u can make that u can't bounce back from! Just be direct and have good feelings shared between the 2 of u! Do it Man! 8-)
Pg 138
USER : Elimination thanks guys. I don't think you get my situation.. I totally understand the game. I have seen so much seduction video / listened to so much audio it's really becoming a part of who I am. But society is not so black and white as it is in this forum. sex is not the ONLY measure of how good your game is / how successful you are. that said, no I haven't kissed her yet. but stop ragging on me, and hold up for a few days, I am going to kiss and eventually f-close this girl. I will post in this topic when it happens.
USER : MyWay I like the way you think. The game is indeed not about sex and stuff. But for me, a relationship doesn't exist without any sex (no, kissing is not even enough), but then again, I'm a tad older than you
CHAT : THe BIg Thread ON Kino USER : assman200 I was reflecting on my seduction attempts for the past school year and Kino is one of my sticking points I was hoping that we could all share our views on kino and some of our techniques and how we trouble shoot for me, I know kino is important from all the stuff I've heard but I'm not quite sure why... I know it's for escalation but I don't really know the mind set it puts the girl into, (not sure if it really matters, I don't know how my lab top works but i can still use it) For me Kino NEVER WORKS if you go about it wishy-washy and hesitate the best way I can describe it is having to touch a hot stove except you don't know whether it’s on or not. It sometimes work for me, If I already built up enough attraction, I go with the "Man Touch" like how you touch guy friends. I use slaps on the back, elbow nudge, punch to the shoulder, and when they go "ow" or act all surprised and go "that hurts (say it like they don't mean it)!" cause they are not use to it, you can neg them for being a "girl, or wuss" BE SURE TO USE 1/3 the strength u use with guys and only in a playful way. once the attraction is up I plan to move onto "Sexy Touch" you know, touch them like silk or whatever, (I heard it in pickup 101 don't blame me if it sounds gay) but I'm don't quite have that down yet. any one got the goods on KINO? Share your thoughts!
USER : zgoditak7 For beginning, why are you punching and slapping them? Watch Juggler - Seduction school. That helped me alot. You have excellent kino with arm when they practice approaching. You also have excellent kino as reward example. In clubs and bars just hold her lower back, then her neck and later move in for a kiss. She will be comfortable with it if you are. If you are sitting down, you can touch her leg with back of your hand, like you are playing tennis, specifically backhand move (but don't move your arm from shoulder, but from elbow). Pg 139
Also check out Vin DiCarlo - Escalation Ladder.
USER : Vantage while walking, guide her on her lower back. sooooo powerful.
USER : Brax Lol Quote: I use slaps on the back, elbow nudge, punch to the shoulder, and when they go "ow" or act all surprised and go "that hurts (say it like they don't mean it)!" cause they are not use to it, you can neg them for being a "girl, or wuss" BE SURE TO USE 1/3 the strength u use with guys and only in a playful way. dude that are girls... hahaha i just imagined my dog like I slap him on the head if he does something good even that isn’t obviously as you are doing it. you can’t slap their back and punch them on a shoulder (not until you know them and shoot the shit with em) (and you wrote "for me kino never works" so...) if you do, they get instantly the sense/vibe that you don’t know how to touch a woman. do it always with feeling and caring (sounds gay, I know ) though, don’t be a wuss and overdo it. you simply can’t tell this in words, you have to see how she reacts. i see naturals touch girls very gently and I do high five girls also. works good ;-) also the hand on back is good. forearm and shoulders. watch PU101 and Vin DiCarlo - Escalation Ladder. it’s very good Quote: the best way I can describe it is having to touch a hot stove except you don't know whether its on or not. that’s a bad mindset/limiting belief. you HAVE to think: "its always on" or otherwise you are too much "in the head" thinking what she is thinking about you. DONT THINK FOR BOTH OF YOU, just DO IT (gently :-P)
USER : assman200 Hey thanks for the advice so far ppl! some great stuff! I really like the backhand while sitting down thing and how moving the arm from the elbow will make it more natural now, I know you can escalate really fast in night game, but I mostly use day game and in a social situation with a lot of people around, I find it hard to use the really good stuff like lower back touching at book stores or in class or waiting in line at a coffee place. IN PU101 they stated the importance of starting kino at the very start, so does anyone have a model of how they escalate kinoing? like how they would intro it in a none social environment? Also it's become obvious that the "slap (don't smack )on the back" is somewhat questionable (Shit I used it once but I forgot how I did it, the response was great though, I neged her a bit for being a wuss but only in a Pg 140
PLAYFUL way and got a good reaction) but I think it still could work somehow. Is it possible to use as a NEG? Treat a HB just like a guy friend (like how lovedrop blows us nose in front of HBs as a NEG)
USER : zgoditak7
Why would you want to neg her, especially in day game? How many approaches did you have in daygame and what openers you use?
USER : AyeJay Hardly lives up to the title on this thread...|-) Too lazy to respond...just light touch first and work your way up...it’s not hard
USER : HighJ85 plus there are so many good products on this site covering KINO and other aspects thoroughly, read them all, apply them and make up your own too. But seriously, don't slap and hit a woman whom you do not have some sort of high comfort level with. There are exceptions to the rule of course, and some people can make this playfulness work (I can sometimes ) and if done properly it escalates something sexual very fast. But the woman has to be in on it . At least that's my perspective.
USER : ezmech check out the latest Pickup Podcast interview with Vin DiCarlo. It's all about kino
USER : sputnik did you ever have a girlfriend who loved you and you very extremely comfortable around and who you playfully touched all the time without even thinking? try to get in that mindset with new girls. touch them lightly on the shoulder or arm to get attention, to reinforce the point you are making, etc. basically if you start small straight away it is much easier to go further. if you don’t then either they will progress themselves, or you can start it later with something more formal. but it’s easier and more fun to be playful from the beginning.
USER : Brax Pickup Podcast Ep. #20 Vin Dicarlo Interview Kino Breakdown http://www.blubrry.com/programs/1332/seduction/87897/pickup-...
USER : sunrise assman, During day game you will want to especially avoid a lot of kino as it is not normal for much touching anyways. If you go into a set thinking you need much for great success then you're going to find yourself blundering around to find an excuse or resolve to touch her. However, if you feel it is really necessary then a great way is to become intrigued with what she may be wearing. If she is wearing a nice blouse or shirt you may pick at it and subscribe to threads about your ex-girlfriend or friend of yours having the exact same one or whatever-youhave-it. It almost becomes really easy if she is wearing some interesting piece of jewellery of which you could observe with your hand. If people have been telling you how crucially important it is to kino or you have been hearing it in products over and over then I'm going to give it to you here: it's just a gimmick. Every product has to sell you on something to get you to believe this is the big brand new thing that is going to make your game. Too many times in clubs or Pg 141
day game I have done nothing but really lean back and put myself in a restful standing or sitting position and have the females lean towards me. You will find it is almost as if they will become magnetic towards you as they will have to listen in on what you are saying, as well as demonstrating greater value to them because you are desireless of really wanting to make a move. lol, I think I had the greatest laugh when I heard somewhere in a Pickup101 product where they said it was ABSOLUTELY necessary to touch within the first 5 mins or the little touching that you do will make the HUGEST of impact on the conversation as she will get "use to" the way you are around her. lol you can convey all of these things just as effect and set the exact ambiance through your body language and the way you project your voice or tonality. But hey if you believe that placing your hand behind the small of her back or backhanding her while you talk or whatever gives you the slight advantage then power to you. But, to get to the root of the matter it really is about projecting yourself as a confident man of which does not necessarily require you to kino immediately or much less even further into the interaction.
CHAT : Advanced Kino tips USER : Norn Hey guys, Do you have any recommendations about kino moves you can do after you have kissed a girl, in order to turn her on fast(er). I still beleive non-verbals are stronger here than whatever you can say to turn her on and have her thinking about sex in no time. One of the better ones I have found is placing your leg between hers and touching her clit with it. She will start to rub her clit against your leg and before you know it she'll be thinking about sex (some women get quite wild on your leg :o) ) Another one is just kissing and making out very passionately, pulling her hair while you kiss and breathing heavily. If your good at it, kissing earlobes can also give a very profound effect. Some other ones?
OUTER GAME : touching the girls hands, games,, palm reading CHAT : Hi2u So I was walking thru the mall today and I saw the people that try to sell you stuff as you walk by them. This one is a scrub from the dead sea that has special powers and makes your nails shine. Anyways I noticed this woman in her 40s standing there captivated by this guy who is just touching her hand. I mean she is fully engaged looking like she is ready to pounce on him. She is about 6 inches from his face totally in his space. I was pondering what he could have done to get her this way, then I realized touching a woman’s hand must really stimulate them because its non threatening and can be sexual. So I was wondering if anyone knows any good games or things to do to have a reason to touch a girls hand when first meeting her. I don’t really want to do palm readings but I’ll try whatever works, but I’d really like to learn some games or something not so serious, and I don’t want to slap their hand. also if no one wants to describe any, could u name some so i can search it!
CHAT : rogerphilip Just caress boy... Just caress we hands. Make it obvious and make it intentional.
Pg 142
CHAT : pooah Touching a woman's hand won't make her like you. But it can show her that you like her, that you are confident enough to show her, that you can show her something like that in a room full of people without anybody noticing, well, that you have some skills :lol:
CHAT : foxycleop I disagree.......take a girl's hand in your hand....while talking to her.....don't make it obvious that you are doing it "INTENTIONALLY" and then run your thumb slowly and gently on the outer portion of the skin "web" between her thumb and the first finger. Look in her eyes while you do that....she will fall in love with you. A couple of weeks ago I was in the club....and I got good attraction going with the girl.....she had her hand on the table and it was in a fist (closed)....so I grabbed her hand.......I had very good compliance because she instantly opened her palm and gave it to me.......then I ran my palm over her palm (quite suggestive) ;-)....and then I ran my hand on the inside until I reached her bracelet......and then asked if the bracelet means anything to her. I think if you turned on by a girl....then your hardwiring does the rest for you....you don't have to think that NOW I am going to touch her hand....now I am going to palm read so that I can get some kino going........you can't do that shit in field.......in the field you have to trust your animal instincts......we already come equipped with the hard wiring for all this shit....you just gotta trust yourself.
CHAT : Partezan Before I kiss a girl I always take her by the hand, it shows confidence, demonstrates your intent without being verbal about it and lets you know where she's at. For fun games to play there is always thumb wrestling or slaps, please tell me you know those? The other thing is one Ross Jeffries does and it comes from Kung Fu: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99EM_rRuOsE just make it more fun than the guy in the video does
CHAT : robert8804 Is anyone a fan of 60? He advocates taking a girls hand to caress it. I can't picture how or when he does this on a date. Does he mean if you’re walking with a girl you should just take her hand and caress it? What about when you’re at a table--same thing?
CHAT : foxycleop I think people make it too "theoretical"..........why the hell do people think so much??? When I am turned on by a girl and she is sitting with me....I DON'T THINK...why? because I want to enjoy the moment.....if you are thinking you are not enjoying the moment with the girl..........if I want to touch her hand or caress her hair.......I just do it....I do it because that's what I FEEL like....that's how I want to express my appreciation for her.......I am not thinking about ESCALTION LADDER or shit like that...........If I don't FEEL like it (probably because the energy is not there).......then I don't do it because it will not come off as natural.......sometimes you gotta TURST your gut instincts. This shit is hard wired in you.
CHAT : TheAffair To caress a girls hand means to hold it gently and massage it gently with your own hands. actually, it means in general: To treat fondly, kindly, or favourably. Pg 143
FASTSEDUCTION.COM/DISCUSSION ADVANCED FORUM : The Kino Post (advanced) USER : Cinder Kino Escalation was my largest sticking point at one time. What I did was blast it using pieces here and there that improved my results. I'm going to throw in some helpful definitions and then jump right in and start listing pieces (RPAPs). They should all be used together - the ones that don't work for you, alter or delete them depending on your game. ... Here are some helpful definitions: Kino Intensity: The intensity of a kino escalation. Touching the hand for a couple of seconds is a very low kino intensity; rubbing her pussy for several minutes is a very high kino intensity. I abbreviate it "KI" for Kino Intensity. Kino Escalation: The process of increasing Kino Intensity over time. Kino Velocity: The SPEED that you increase Kino Intensity. For instance, jumping from touching the hand briefly to an intimate hug is a very fast kino velocity. Touching her hand briefly and then next touching her wrist briefly is a very slow kino velocity. No abbreviation for this one although I guess you could label it "KV". Optimum Comfort Kino Intensity: This is the Kino Intensity (KI) that you don't cross until S1 (arousal). E.g. You hover around the KI of making out and just holding each other until it's time for seduction/arousal... then you escalate the Kino Intensity (KI) to sex. The Optimum Comfort Kino Intensity is where you hover while in public, and before S1. Abbreviated "OCKI". ... Alright, now pieces (RPAPs): -Unless she is doing a lot of kino on you to begin with, begin your Kino Escalation at a low intensity. I start on her wrist. Just leave it on for 2 seconds and then remove it. Your next kino escalation move will be to lightly grab her arm at the elbow for 2 seconds and then remove it. THIS is your gauge. How she reacts after you have taken away the second move will tell you if she is a fast or a slow kino escalator (e.g. Can you escalate very quickly on her, normal, or does she require very slow kino escalation?). Something that is consistent for every girl (and people in general) is that the intensity is always the same (kinoing the hand is the lowest; kinoing the pussy is the highest)... but what differs is how fast you can escalate (e.g. what is the optimum Kino Velocity for this particular girl that you are Kino Escalating on right now... can you do it faster than normal? Do you need to do it normal speed? or Do you need to do it slower than normal?). If she is receptive to those 2 moves (e.g. no IODs that she communicates [usually IODs will be communicated from her BL]), then she is either a fast kino escalator or a normal kino escalator. If she is non-receptive to those 2 moves (e.g. she IODs), then you'll probably need to consider her a slow kino escalator. Also, keep in mind that if she's around her friends, this could be another reason why she is non-receptive if she is (E.g. ISOLATE before continuing your kino escalation to higher intensities [KI]). -Use Kino Testing/Pinging to find how receptive she is to your kino and how much further you might have to go depending on the feedback that you get from your tests. Once you get feedback and then try stuff and get results or not, your intuition will start to tell you what you can and can't do based on what feedback you get from these tests that you do with her. Example of Kino Testing/Pinging: the Trust Test. -Use alpha kino. This is kino where it is 100% authoritative, and kind of monkey like. Be GENTLE when POSITIONING your kino, but completely relax the part that you are kinoing her with once it is in place. For Pg 144
example, slide your arm around her shoulders and then completely just let your arm relax and rest on her shoulders (where she is carrying the complete weight; you're not trying to press down on her though). -Slide Into Your Kino Escalations. This is like rapport assumption, but with Kino, like she and you have been going out for a long-ass time. So taking the arm around shoulder example again, instead of plopping it down, slide into place when you are kinoing, thus assuming that you already know each other. -Be discreet with the kino from the peer group. This doesn't mean like super super discreet, just *pretty discreet*. Just as an example - boyfriend is standing looking at you guys every once in awhile... you and the girl are both about 4 inches apart with arms down at sides. She makes a comment, so you touch her hand with your hand. *the boyfriend will not notice this*... however, if you were 8 inches away (further away and being less discreet with your kino), then the boyfriend would notice and sweep in some.. which gives worse reactions (still keepable, btw). -Hover at the Optimum Comfort Kino Intensity (OCKI). This is right around the Kino Intensity (KI) of kissing. This is the kino intensity that you hover at all the way from C1 to S1... and then in S1, you escalate the Kino Intensity (KI) to sex. The tipping point of the OCKI (an example of the maximum that you can do without getting into buyer’s remorse before it's time to escalate in S1) is playing with the fingers with your fingers in a sexual way. -Use a ROUTINE that you do with Kino. This helps improve consistency and makes it money. I like to work up the arm and then down the back and then go into the Evolution Phase Shift routine and then use a different ending to do the makeout other than the evolution phase shift's makeout. Here's my routine on a girl who is a normal kino escalator: wrist, elbow, top of arm, top of shoulder, top of back (below neck), middle high of back, middle of back, lower back, Smell hair at ear(beginning Styles Evolution Phase Shift), pull hair, bite inside of elbow joint, bite her neck, makeout. The beauty of treating it like a routine is that it POLISHES... just like a regular verbal routine does. It gets really good after you've used it 20+ times. -If you have not reached the OCKI yet, and you cannot fully continue your escalation at this point (for instance, you're running a 2-set and you need to occupy both girls and at the same time you want to be discreet with your kino from her friend), then hover at the maximum kino intensity that is acceptable. Then escalate further once you and the target are alone or the friend is occupied. -Never do the same kino twice. If you want to do the same kino, do it with a slight variation. Optimally, though, always do something different. If you've already spent some time with interlocked fingers, this time rub her palm with your thumb... etc. [It's just like saying the same thing twice... it displays lower value. And this makes since too because touching and talking are both one thing: communication. Communication meaning: BL, Tonality, and words... the combination all together of what is going on.] -Kino Escalate the group. This is something that I stemmed from Mehow; I'm still experimenting with this in my game. If you've ever noticed how if the BT of one girl in the set is much higher than another girl in the set, then 1 of 2 things will take place: the girl with the higher BT will either get her friend into state via Kinoing and basically communicating "it's fun!" OR the girl with the lower state will try to pull her friend away. If you want to get away with kinoing your target, AND you are working multiple girls at the same time, then you'll want to kino each of them every once in awhile. Now you have 2 solutions going on: they think that you're just a touchy guy... and their BT levels are the same, so it's okay to escalate your Kino with them both (to a certain Kino Intensity... unless you're really skilled at this area and just go for a 3-way makeout and 3-some). -Wait between 30 and 41 seconds INBETWEEN your Kino Escalations. This is intuitively guided.. and might be hard to express over text. Basically, the optimum time of not Kinoing BETWEEN the Kino Escalations that you do - is 30 to 41 seconds. For some reason, this timing makes a faster kino velocity more acceptable. Pg 145
-Kino Early if you can. Acceptable Kino Escalation is where she's giving IOIs during and after you release from your Kino Escalations. Kinoing early and having it acceptable is an awesome piece because it allows you to Kino Escalate more quickly on average (e.g. you can do a faster Kino Velocity now because you Kinoed early upon meeting them). The converse is also true: If you start the Kino Escalation late (e.g. you've been talking to her for a long time, and then you start making moves), then you usually need to Kino Escalate slower in order to make those Kino Escalation moves acceptable. -Use a baseline conversation while Kino Escalating. This one is probably well known, but worth a reiteration. Bullshit Baffles Brains - If you are taking her mind somewhere else, the kino is much more easily accepted as it seems more congruent and natural. -Don't talk about the kino that you ARE doing or HAVE done. Unless it's high octane material, I'd suggest against it (a couple of examples of high octane material: the Evolution Phase Shift; and holding the hands with "this is subcommunication, we don't talk about this"). Reason being because it makes it seem less congruent, and you want it to #1 come off congruent, and #2 come off natural. Talking about it usually indicates neither, so I suggest to not do it all together. [e.g. don't talk about how good of a kisser she is... it's a mistake]. -Watch for IODs from 2 places: 1) WHILE you are doing the Kino Escalation move; 2) AFTER you've taken the kino escalation move away. If it's WHILE you are doing the kino escalation, then IOD her right away (Example of IOD’ing her: If you were trying to hold her hands, throw her hands away; If you were trying to go in for a kiss and she gives unreceptive BL, do a takeaway from her with your back turned). If it's AFTER you've taken the kino escalation move away (e.g. you did the move.. now you are not touching her.. and during this non-touching her thing, her BL looks like she's a little uncomfortable, then *that's an IOD from your last kino escalation that you did*). So what you do for this is just not touch her for about 2 minutes - purposely keep your body away from her and hands at side so you don't accidentally touch her during this mini-freezeout. Then you can continue like normal after about 2 minutes (where during those 2 minutes, hopefully you were talking the whole time) because you'll notice that she loses the uncomfortable BL and then she starts giving receptive BL (IOI BL). [like I said, these are all addition pieces. Try them out, and if some of them don't work for you, then don't use them or alter them to your game. *The biggest and most common mistake with Kino Escalation is Not taking into account the girl's comfort level.* During and after you kino, you're always looking for how she is taking it although she doesn't know that that is what you are doing, because your BL is congruent with "this is me.. I'm not trying to act a certain way... this is who I am"]. Just for shits and giggles, here's another piece: -If there is a gap between you two, use Palm Reading to close the gap and to start the Kino Escalation. For daytime game and some hired guns, something I've noticed is that you need to close the gap between you when it's time to start Kino Escalating. Whereas club game, it's totally normal to kino and be close so that you can hear them.. daygame is often started with your body's a little more distant. Use Palm Reading to close the gap and to start the Kino escalation. Now she's in close and you can escalate like normal.
USER : ijjjji Cool - while HATEING the 'careful/observant' frame and the IMHO overly verbose and theorizing presentation of original post, I really like the bit about being discrete!! Naturals are very good at this. While looking pretty innocent talking to some chick, they are often touching her somewhere out of plain sight. (After a bit of that, REAL naturals start doing something only ijjjji, IN10SE and TD have posted about: Kino vacuum. This alone will make the girl crazy and totally eliminate ASD risk, but it’s not exactly a kino technique so let’s discuss that another time.) Kino was the easiest thing for me when I found mASF. I guess I'm just a NATURAL when it comes to kino. Pg 146
(Lol several exGFs complain that they miss my hands, one said she tried schooling this new BF but he just didn’t get it at all.. anyway, having this confidence when it comes to kino sure is helpful.) But even if I consider myself HEAVENLY GIFTED in this department, the overly logic/friendly/conversational frame (a type of bitch shield) sometimes makes it hard... For this specific situation, where I feel a bit unnatural about escalating the touching, I have created a small collection of moves that I will fall back upon. Combined with shutting up, they ENSURE I won’t end up in a non-sexual place after getting the girl alone with me. Enjoy: Subject: Classic closing techs (more added) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------grab hands and smile, if she tries to impress -kino on emotional high points -run hands down arms into palms and squeeze -rub/leave hand on lower back -stretch legs on lap -lay head on lap -sit on lap -push hair out of face and move slowly down to fondle earlobes -smell slow along neck -grab hair, pull head back, gently bite neck -kiss forehead, nose, cheek then lips -triangulate, drop verbal flow, move in for kiss ULTRA SLOW. -pin down, shove arms up against wall or hold head against wall and start making out -never skip dry-hump
kiss openers -get EC when moving towards girl. Transition to “I wanta fuck you like an animal” vibe. Triangulate. Touch waist gently. slowly go in for kiss. -"I need a private word - come with me a sec.." grab hand and lead around corner, "come closer.. closer.. closer..", look in eyes 5 seconds, then wander eyes down to lips as go in for kiss edit: The Complete Kiss PU Method Use BL. NO NEED for complex word game. From start be "Intrigued Dominant Male". Transition asap to "Sexually Aroused Dominant Male". Then do EXACTLY this: -Get close -Look DEEP into eyes a few seconds -Look at lips -Move in slowly - BANG - kissing has already commenced! Break off , then go straight for make out session. Make it more and more sexual until kinda sexual climax, then break off slowly, take her hand and tell her to come with you. Go somewhere you can fuck, start making out, start taking her clothes off and go in for the fuck. edit: kiss anticipation builders -stare at mouth -move towards her mouth -hover with mouth near hers -breath on face/neck -touch head/neck/hair Pg 147
edit: mid-kiss tech -run fingers up back and neck, and make light fist with her hair - tighten as make out progresses -move lips near hers.. when she goes in, back up repeatedly until she frustrated, then grab and kiss her HARD -put lips gently against ear and rotate tongue slowly around ear opening - move it down to ear lobe - stick it very gently into her ear canal -let kissing trail her chin and neck down to her chest and up again -nibble her chin, neck and ear lobes
USER : sonics To add one little kino technique. This would go near the end of your escalation; or really whenever your intuition tells you to. While facing each other; in a gentle but firm way grab her on her rib cage (torso) above her waist, but bellow her bosom with both of your hands. (Your right hand on her left side and your left hand on her right side.) Thumbs comfortably on her front with your fingers wrapped going towards her back. It's really sexual kino. The kind of kino you would give her when she's riding you; but in this case in the field or wherever. I can't say it enough.. Kino skill is a must.
ADVANCED FORUM : Kino USER : Maj Talk with your hands. It is kino-charisma the easy way My favourite kino (anchor) spots to touch when talking are. (crotch excluded, LOL) 1. Hands 2. The small of the back 3. The back of the neck 4. The thighs 5. Bicep 6. Shoulder 7. Firm finger-poke in the gut When you touch people as you talk to them it anchors the feelings they are experiencing as you describe them to YOU. It anchors "those feelings" TO YOU. Tell me is that useful?? That is why kino is so important. At least in my games.
ADVANCED FORUM : Dancefloor kino experts only! USER : ijjjji Seen various guys comment they always get make out when dancing with girl. Lately I too kinda figured this out..and now to degree where even COLD girls fall in love, after only short 'dance' Trust me, gonna put details up, but would like to hear what other guys at this 'skill level' are doing, before going into too much detail! So if this is you, put a sentence or two up about what you do! The OUTLINE of what I do: -3 main parts: touching, looking and breathing (on her). -Kino is my main thing. Very light with only tips of fingers. -Eyes are mostly on her mouth, neck and chest area. Hardly any EC. Pg 148
-Breathing on neck+face+chest seems to somehow synchronize horniness level. Feedback please! (Dancefloor kino experts only!) Re Cosy: Was aiming more to discuss the 'one on one' stuff. Liked the part about following a lower beat though. Re szizzel: Nice description! If its ON already, I sometimes do similar (hard EC + pulling her hair, move her around forcefully etc) Re Clutch: AMAZING description! I too touch that area between hip bone and ass a lot, but unlike you, I go super light. Also touch side and front of hip bone in this manner and get similar semi orgasmic response. I will CERTAINLY try your circular pressure approach!! THANK YOU SO MUCH for providing that superb layout! Re Slime: LOVED the 'bite me' routine!! More great stuff!! I do a similar 'squad joining' at times - easy with groups hanging near dance floor Holy shit! At this point I have to congratulate myself for being so damn good at asking you guys the right questions. This thread has already strongly exceeded my expectations for feedback! Re zingdoozer: Lol I was kinda skimming your post, not paying particular attention when suddenly realizing it is maybe best post I read in a long time.. I’m pressed for time right now but certainly gonna check out your other posts later.
USER : TheCostOfSuccess Definitely a specialty of mine POINTS - Don't make eye contact directly (This means dancing around her eyes and other features) - I think in DEEEEP inside of myself, and feel the ooze of sex intoxicate my movements... The reason I move, is not dance, but that feeling of sex inside, loves the music. - SLOOOOW, I am much slower than everybody else, I sense the slower beat of the music, and dance very seductively. Probably about half the speed or less of everyone else. - Constantly animated face, with heavy sexuality and disqualification. - I mix it up, do elegant dance moves with girls, just as fun buddies, and also do sexual moves. - I don't grind... It’s my no no... Its attitude! Not grinding. - Man slut dance moves - Steal space from girls, and anyone, fight for the best space for dancing. Girls always find the most open space. OUTLINE - Heavily dismissive, focused on style, attitude, and dancing. This is how I connect with a girl. Style repor. - When it moves to one on one, its style, its attitude... No grinding, or only sparingly... Set the pace (girls NEVER expect this and if they deny it... Too easy) - Eyes may dance with hers, but will never actually meet. - I PROJECT VIBE STRONGLY, like SUPER FORCE... So much that people can't help but look. And follow the first outline rule, dismissive and attitude etc. I wanted to be shorter... For an example of style, I will ram my leg in between her legs, and forcefully dance her around ballroom style, and push and pull, and put her in some sexy position from which I will trace her body or put her hands over Pg 149
mine, or on my cock. My thinking is... If its Art, style, or attitude There are no rules (can't get multiple girls if you grind, and usually I use one girl to get all the girls in sight incredibly interested... hence style over grinding... it’s the best of both worlds)
USER : szizzel Contradictory to both of you’d I make deep eye contact. Then I just slow the both of us down during dancing(even on fast music, you just suck her into you) Then I put my forehead against hers while maintaining deep EC and then you go for the kiss, works every time. As for hands, I usually put them a bit above her ass and a bit below her lower back, or over her shoulders. Also very sexual dancing required but I don't see how this would be a problem ^^(girls link dancing to sex I read somewhere but I dunno, it sure gets them horny) Actually now that I think about it, I'm very "tranced" when dancing dunno why...
USER : Klutch At this point, I've been getting very consistent make outs from dancing. It's all pretty basic for me, I do the same thing every time and get predictable results: -I spot a girl in the corner of my eye. I don't look closely, so I can't tell how hot she is. Then, I move over closer to her vicinity making sure that my back or side is facing her. -When I get right next to her, I open her. In the first few seconds, I can tell if she is interested. Usually, the girl will touch my arm and get close to my ear to talk. -As I'm talking to her, I move my hips to the music as she is probably doing the same. She picks up on this, and becomes comfortable dancing a bit more. -Then I swat her with my butt, and initiate dancing together. I'm playful at first but then I become a bit more dominant. I pull her close to me by the hand, and then I put my hands on the secret kino spot. I dance with her with the tips of my fingers pressing into the kino spot, making a circular motion. -For the most part, the secret kino spot takes care of itself. As I touch it, she becomes more and more aroused to the point where she begins touching my body and grinding her hips against mine as if she is legitimately trying to get off. -From that point, the kissing comes natural. She will probably rest her cheek against my chest as she is grinding against me, so I will brush the hair away from her neck and begin breathing on it. Then I kiss it, and from there I start kissing her lips. On countless occasions, the girl is there with a group of friends who all see what's going on, but the kino spot technique blows any ASD out of the water. Never had a problem with it. Rokuk wrote: Can someone remind me what is the "secret kino spot"? I remember reading about it before, but I can't find it on the search. I am thinking it is either the lower belly area or the front of upper thighs for some reason. And the touch is light fingertips, right? Pg 150
Here's the link to the original thread http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=70813&fid=8 Basically, if her ass was a steering wheel the secret kino spot is at the 10:2 position, on the sides right below her hips on top of the sides of the ass.
USER : slime use dancing as my primary screening test, so it may be a little bit different, but it fits a similar process to those named above. I find value in being social and being seen in groups, so I open sets before I assess whether any of the HBs are targets. I just walk over and say, "Hey guys, I'm joining your dance squad." At that point, maybe I'll introduce myself to everyone or start small talk with a neutral girl (average/non-target). I really don't care. Sometimes they'll start a conversation, sometimes we just dance, whatever. I'll dance among the 3 or 4 girls to feel their vibe. If they're cool, during the next song I'll spin each of them (or just the designated target). By reading the HB's grip and facial expressions, I'll know whether we're interested in each other. With that determined, we'll break off from the 4 person circle and pair off. During the events that follow, I'll intentionally lead my girl further away from her friends so we can proceed without dance floor ASD. We'll dance apart, spin, and hold hands during that song. During the next song, I'll still spin her, but this time I'll run my hand around her waist while she spins. I'll also throw in a dip or two. Everything should be flowing well by then, so I'll spin her half way so she can grind on me for 5-10 seconds, then I'll call her naughty and spin her out again. By this point it's usually on, so I'll put one or both of her hands on my shoulders and run my hands along her upper body. There might be some front-front grinding, but not much. I'll pull her hair away from her ear, go in, smell so she can hear me smell her and then I'll say, "Bite my neck." Weird as it is, girls always accept the offer. I tense up a little bit and stand up straight because it feels so good, then I'll either return the favour or say, "That was nice." By then her eyes have gone DDB and she's puckering her lips begging to be kissed. At which point, forehead-forehead tension is introduced and the kissing begins. The real key to the dance floor game, aside from not grinding [sorry Klutch, not many people can pull it off like you], is to get off the dance floor and isolate ASAP. By that, I mean you shouldn't be making out for more than one song. You start kissing, then when the song changes, say, "Hey, let's find a place to chat." The magic to this is two-fold. Firstly, she's still hungry for more and will agree to be isolated so she can kiss you more. Secondly, if things fail with the HB, you'll still have a chance with the other girls in the venue. If you continue making out, your future prospects will notice and say, "Weren't you kissing some other girl earlier?" That's negative social proof, more often than positive.
USER : TheCostOfSuccess For one on one - I use attitude, and reduce grinding... I want all the girls around to look at me and wink, wave, or stare... I want all the guys to want to follow me, and cheer me. Usually will be with 3 or so girls before I start grinding. Some nights I get up to 9 girls to dance with sexually, even kiss, if I do it right - I will do things I know girls are jealous of when one on one, and I make them VERY VERY envious, so much so that they will want to fight the girl I am with, instead of admit defeat. - I will usually make them jealous by being the fun sexy dancing partner... Girls are always complaining that Pg 151
guys do too much groping. So I give them what they actually want, which is fun AND SEXY... They like to hide under the guise of style, and fun... They like to show off that they are the party girl, that dances the hardest and the best... And guys like me are SUPER rare. - However, I heavily lace all fun excitable moves, with sexual style... I'll make it look like a show, how I touch her... I touch her for everyone to see. That means, having space, THEN bringing her in and commencing. - I reduce noise, to outside parties, by signalling when something is going to happen, by closing the space and proximity with style. - I'll move around to behind her, and get her to arc her back and make a sexy face pushing back against me, whilst I tease with the possibility of a kiss... Starting from the shoulder. Then to the neck, and as I reach her chin it lifts and exposes herself for the kiss... Then I will create space again, and re enter, and do another "show". Its like we are both actors, but its real. I think the key of it is how I open and close proximity, and do not display a commitment to the girl of any kind. We simply dance with the same idea of style in our minds... Which is easily enough for sex However, I do not commit to, kissing her or what not... If I kiss her, I will do it as a show... Like a kiss, then it breaks, and I push her back, to kiss her again, then break it, and give her a stylish dip to rise up to me, then continue on with normal stylish moves. Generally embracing her in all ways imaginable and disguising them as moves. Grinding is self explanatory... I will often be as sexually forward as I can be... Probably more so than they would allow, so as to pass it off as "style". Style to me, opens up all the doors on the dance floor. I will get a girl saying "no grinding okay" "don't touch my ass" Blah blah blah Ok, she hasn't seen me yet... that’s okay I'm not a normal guy... so I will not touch her like a normal guy, she is in for a treat. She's a girl that’s afraid to get her slut on... that’s fine... I will then use style etc, and I could take her underwear off on the dance floor. She will easily bat off her friends if they come from nowhere to steal her, without knowing anything about me. Girls forget everything, when overwhelmed with style. Push and pull between sex and style. Lets say I come up against a tough cookie to crack... The hardest of them all in my experience... The girl that assumes you will be fun and no more... For whatever mistake you made before... I will slow down, and create and get her to absorb my vibe a bit... Then from that slow place I will start to turn Pg 152
her, twist her etc, then slowly bring our stomachs together, then go back... Then do something like that again... and come into an embrace but very lightly... And proceed to escalate like that, till she is my naughty partner in crime.
USER : Humblepie Kino is my main thing. Very light with only tips of fingers. -Eyes are mostly on her mouth, neck and chest area. Hardly any EC. -Breathing on neck+face+chest seems to somehow synchronize horniness level. BOOM. Do that. Don't think something DEEP inside urself. DO that and enjoy the living hell out of it. -peace P.S. DO this to --->I will slow down, and create and get her to absorb my vibe a bit... Then from that slow place I will start to turn her, twist her etc, then slowly bring our stomachs together, then go back... Then do something like that again... and come into an embrace but very lightly... And proceed to escalate like that, till she is my naughty partner in crime. Ij and C.O.S. above, ty
USER : sonics A dance floor calibration test: Be dancing and have her turn around, stay close your crotch to her ass, hands or finger tips on her hips, and trace your fingers on the sides of her body from her waist up and don’t stop at the arm pits, keep going, one motion, trace your fingers up her arms putting her hands up high above her head, then trace back down them. IF you guys are still together dancing to whatever beat and her hands stay up in the air while your hands are on her hips again, then she has forgotten about her friends and to her it’s just you two and she is ready to be kissed… Think about it like this, the slower her hands go down the more wiling she is to kiss. TRY IT BEFORE YOU DEBATE IT. If you’ve been dancing for a minute and turn her around and she won’t put her hands up, she is not compliant at all. Good luck. If her hands come back down with yours she needs more time to get over her insecurities, an isolation is all you need here, some “getting to know each other : ) time” off on the far sidelines. If her arms stay up and bend at the elbows to find your head behind her while still semi grinding, it’s don’t F up time, be the man. Dancing slower than the crowd is another way of knowing if she is into you. (I read something similar to this awhile ago and expanded on it, it’s a good way to gauge)
USER : carpe diem WooHoo a dance floor thread What I generally do is walk into the dead middle of the dance floor and just stand there still for like 5 – 10 minutes or something. Everybody else is dancing like crazy and I just stand there completely motionless. I send out this type of power vibe that can split a room. Then I warm up dance slowly, just moving my shoulders a bit. I think it’s best to pick up the woman off the dance floor, so you want to capture enough attention to have woman get up out of their seats and open you on the dance floor. So I use all the woman on the dance floor as pivots, and dance next to guys so they feel like sitting down. If you are any good woman will come onto the dance floor to dance with you. All going well when you get a drink after a while woman will logistically either open you or give you approach Pg 153
invitations. I think the worst thing to do is like this super AFC thing of coming up behind a woman on the dance floor and trying to grind her from behind without saying anything or getting no eye contact and attempting kino. I see guys do it all the time and get blown out. Either dance on your own or open her with complete control and confidence don't do this creepy dance close with no commitment thing. I generally get right into the middle of those circles that open up when people are dancing in a group and do silly things that make people laugh, and I’ll always try to isolate girls to a podium or somewhere we can dance in full-view of people like a cage or something. I’ll always attempt to get a woman into a frame of performing for me or the crowd and I’ll keep telling her to ramp up the sexiness and I’ll find that on the dance floor you can really get high levels of compliance. I get really bossy on the dance floor. I really try and tap into the whole female sexuality and performing for a crowd frame as much as possible, and I’ll straight out tell her what to do. I’ll always take an alpha position on the dance floor or club and I notice that guys often get super needy and clingy on the dance floor, like they find a girl to dance with and its like they stick to them like glue. Fuck that, dance with as many woman as you can and give them variety and keep them guessing. If two girls are dancing always get in between them and one hand at the front and one at the back pull them in towards you. Get them to have you as the meat in the sandwich and then switch and put a girl in the middle for a while, and then switch to the other girl being the middle. I also find it fairly powerful to like teach woman salsa on the dance floor. Like I’ll have one to three woman in a row and I’ll be teaching them some steps then dancing with each in turn, and it constantly surprises me how fast they want to learn after I tell them that I teach. I can’t even explain what this does to attraction, and any guy can do it. Just act like you know what you are going after taking some lessons, and like teach them 2 steps and then dance with them, sometimes I’ll salsa with two or three girls at the same time. The problem with loving dance like I do is that I actually like to dance. I’ll often push away blatant chances and opportunities and spend 5 hours straight on the dance floor. I don’t think being a good dancer is like the ultimate way to pickup it’s how your vibe is like sexual or happy and how much fun you are having, It’s also about how comfortable you are with touching and getting close with a random woman, and this took me a while to get good at, and want to convey that you are a confident man and woman love getting attention, which is a reason why they dance.
USER : zingdoozer I’ve noticed that I need to do around 6-7 kino steps.. I haven’t memorised them.. just go with the flow.. kino test to see if she’s interested : I run my hands down her arm and into her hands. if she squeezes I’m in. if she doesn’t. I’m out. saved me so much time on the floor and it’s also a IOI generator as sometimes it’s an automatic response -not jerking off or ejaculating from a few days previously is important – Gunwitch’s projecting sexual state -accessories peackocking items, lil bottle of armani black code(woman love it) in my back pocket, breath fresheners, lip balm, mints and fresh condoms. if I have alcohol I try to stick to wine as it doesn’t cloud senses/calibration like other booze does -eye contact is good. I usually dance with a girl within one second of eye contact. these are the sarges that go the best Pg 154
if I have botched up approaching the group of dancers by waiting outside (low AR ignoring them having fun)then make them approach me.. if I haven’t approached within one second of eye contact.. it’s off technique to extract a girl from group on first approach - butt bump. she turns around. I then bend forward looking away with hands over face (faux embarrassed look).. then look at her with pointing fingers shaped like guns with index fingers out with disarming smile.. she will come out and dance no waiting outside a group of dancers with semi deer in headlights smile.. if I do it’s off.. getting her into TRANCE : I have some flash dance moves. but I put all of them away when I’m dancing with a girl, unless she’s a flash dancer too. but slowing the dance down to her pace gets her into trance. so much so that I try little piss takes like clapping and pointing around the room asking her to snap out of it - she usually laughs - and I get her into trance again and do it again lines : one line I use is - I am going to take advantage of you now we're on the dance floor. once she steps off, I say faux sadly I can’t take advantage of you anymore. and boom she’s back on the floor. others are you having a good night; I think you’re cute (establishes a I’m the man and you’re a lil girl vibe); and how do you know each other kino moves : Whenever I start kinoing a woman on the dance floor, I act like I’m her boyfriend and do whatever he would’ve done.. woman usually associate good feelings with comfortable sensual kino and when they’ve been with their boyfriends on the floor. sliding kino is key.. otherwise might come across as groping brush hair across forehead with tender look extend eye contact for longer than necessary hold hand for longer than necessary touch hair touch her earlobes whisper blow in ear keep escalating touch shoulders inside of arms run hands down back turn her around and touch abdomen smell neck (this is key) Kiss close technique - touch foreheads together, then noses, then easy to segue into a kiss when moving in for kiss be the first one to break sometimes if I’m feeling my game is tight, I bunch her hair in my fingers pull her head back and bite her on the neck sure I have a few more, but can’t remember them now most important lessons learnt : dance with girl within one second of eye contact my state is her state.. if I’m tense anxious or chilled out having fun she absorbs my vibe automatically never leave a set until you can’t make any more progress (I was like carpe diem - caught up with dancing with the hottest girls in the club. but doesn’t really get me anywhere) Pg 155
persistence to isolation (golden golden Gunwitch rule) stay with the woman lead at times and she will make it happen work on genuine connection - which can be shortcutted to with venue changes inside venue i.e. seat to floor to bar NO EXCESSIVE MAKE OUTS. learnt this the hard way. shouldn’t give the girl everything. leave her hankering for more after venue changes - say early on.. I’m hungry.. and later on.. lead and say let’s go while on the way to eatery.. ask her about movies and dvds.. whoever’s house is closer/more reasonable is an excuse to watch it there.. other lessons : make friends with the guys disarm obstacles - speak to the fatty some small talk and laughter is good project affection non outcome oriented.. but work towards goal of close ABC - always be closing don’t make out with her before fifteen minutes as it spikes ASD (but I still haven’t learnt this lesson) frame control and short non needy messages are key to reduce flakes if she sets up a meet a day or two later next day, don’t think I shouldn’t be so easy.. should play hard to get and shit.. just go for it.. set up enough rapport, genuine connection and attraction to sustain for the next few days set up day 2 within 4-5 days quick call.. prescripted usually.. set meet and eject at high point.. followed by one or two C&F txts the following day or two Here’s a ONS LR I posted a while ago that explains my style a lil better.. http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&read=49200&fid=24&BoardID=2#305477 and ijjjji - thanks for the props. . dance floor and social circle games the only game I have (as of now )not sure you will be as impressed with posts I’ve been churning out recently as I’ve been serially LTR ng and fucking them all up. there’s a few posts from dance game from last year that you might find helpful.. there’s an especially good one on dance floor game by topless that I found well written..
USER : Alex-ice Some cool stuff you should have in mind
I keep smiling Smelling her hair Get closer each second Put my hand on her hips(she will move better)
USER : Sweettalker I've been gifted with above-average dancing skills and have used them in PU quite effectively... but with LESS, not MORE.. When I first started going to clubs I wanted to show what hot shit I was on the dance floor. I'd get cheers and props, but no pussy. Why? Because I was doing way too much. Just making a spectacle of myself, really. Pg 156
When I started learning more about PU, I began to realize that I was going about it completely wrong. It wasn't about flash and pizazz, but rather sex and style. This does NOT mean grinding, at least not heavy grinding... Very light if possible. You DO want to touch, though, and touch often, but not until you found a dance style compatible to hers. I'm not saying to copy her dance moves, but come in and adapt your dance style to match hers. Once you've found the match, you can take the lead, and she'll follow if you've properly established your presence. Eye contact is fine, but playful is better than intense.. all the other chodes are trying to be intense to no avail. Don't be corny. Don't be afraid to take her hand.. This might also be a good point to try out the Trust Test. You'd be surprised how quickly they'll accept you if you show that you know how to properly move around them. One of the deadliest weapons I've used is circling her. If you're light enough on your feet where you can circle around her gracefully and sexually it's almost like establishing a predator/prey frame that can be switched around easily enough if you do it right. It's fun, and playful. All of this can be done with pretty simple dance moves that aren't really that hard to learn. You just have to be willing to practice. And it helps if you can find a beat... : )
USER : froggy Bloody hell way to thinking going on here. dancing is fucking great I love it. But all you want to focus on is having FUN with it. When you see a chick your attracted go start dancing with her (if you have been dancing like a cunt, having lots of FUN & not giving fuck she will have noticed you already and should be giving EC/proximity if she's interested). The goal with dance game is to 'GET THEM OFF THE DANCE-FLOOR'. Same rules apply with dancing... escalate the Kino to the point where you get them horny(ish) then isolate by LEADING.
TACTICS / TECHNIQUES FORUM : some kino tips USER : Nowhere I fucked/got head from 4 girls in the last 5 days. Two were repeats and the quality isn't great(5-7.5), but still it's an unprecedented amount of sexing for me. In addition I'm getting some good compliance from my FBs. The below has been instrumental for this success: A general principle of kino is to consider the psychological aspects, both at the primal level of its tone and at a higher level of expectations. In general these tips are better for lower energy situations. Like when you're sitting there with your arm around her or when you're dancing. But you lead so you can tone the energy down anyway, which is better for escalation. If she's too high energy, though, cavemanning is something to "fix" that Some tips for making kino feel better:
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1. Your neurology predicts the direction of movement. So to keep it exciting when caressing vary the direction and pressure gradually but unpredictably. Vary how many fingers you use, and explore any and all of the body parts of her you feel like. 2. Caress towards more sensitive areas and move away. Also build up stimulation (more pressure, from fingers to the whole hand, etc.) and release. More sensitive areas unknown to many: armpits, inside elbows, between navel and pussy, under ear behind jawbone, the groove at the top of the back of the neck (this one can withstand, and enjoys a lot of pressure), between the eyes and nose of the bridge, the grooves behind the lips, below collarbone. SOI-kino. Some kino is very useful in getting your point across. If you have a habit of kinoing every girl, which you should, these let her know you're interested, without having to use words (if that's not how you want to go about it). 1. Hand-holding. Grab tight. Squeeze. It's the best SOI in a situation where something verbal would put her in an awkward situation (friends around, etc.). 2. This is hard to explain, but change the tone of your regular kino. Leave a hug longer than usual. Use heavier pressure. Stroke her as a trail to kino. 3. This is kinda cool: for incidental kino, "realize" it's going on and escalate it. Like if your legs are touching, start stroking her leg with yours.
TACTICS / TECHNIQUES FORUM : Surefire kino USER : Kineti[C]harm Sure many have this in their bag of tricks but man I feel like writing =D This works just about anyplace but it is extremely powerful in isolated environments. Scalp-massages. I will bet you that 99% of people that's been to a hair salon will say that the most relaxing, sensual and invigorating experience they had their wash from the shampoo-massage you get when they was your hair. It might sound obvious that if a girl allows you kino you are in but I have a 100% lay-success with girls I've given scalp massages in an isolated/date-scenario. The massage should be sensual and light but at the same time hit trigger points which are usually around the edges of the skull and the neck. When you get the massage going you can also start to gently stroke the hair stroking it in such a manner that it's gently pulled with the stroke. The great thing about scalp massages is that the two best positions to give them are also two of the most sensual positions to be inn with a woman. After the initial kino/massage gets going you should transition it into repositioning yourself/her into either position: Frontal position where you can grab the back of her head and neck with your fingers. Back position where she is situated between your legs and her back is leaning into your chest and her shoulders will be between your elbows. With the frontal position you have the ability to build a lot of sensual contact with your eyes. The thing here is that by giving her the massage you are in fact upping your own sexual desire and tension. I always get rock hard from this. And while you build up yours you are definitely building up hers which means you will be having a very sexually laden eye contact going. By having your hands behind her head and neck you are also in a position to direct her closer to you, sensually Pg 158
whilst massaging the sweet-spots at the back of the head where the head meets the neck (two extremely good tension points to play with). If she's positioned between your legs with her back towards you there is the more hidden sexual buildup. She's positioned inside your body so to speak and is protected and held within your body frame (between your legs and elbows) which is a very alpha frame in many ways. She will also feel and hear your breathing on her ears and neck and you have the option to smell her hair and tell her how good it is. It isn't essential but I'll state that it's very helpful and important in either case to build the sexual tension either with eye contact or breathing. It does help build a sensory connection outside just the touch.
USER : ninjaplayer Massages are fantastic, an ex of mine used to have a bad back, so I learned some massage techniques... when I learned where to press, and combined with ear breathing etc as stated here, this led to sure fire sex 90% of the time. I hadn't considered head massage, but it makes total sense and it doesn't require the girl to have a back complaint... I really need to try this
GENERAL FORUM : F-Close in Minutes: Secret Kino Spot Helps Capitalize on Club Game USER : Klutch Alright, if you read the following, and do what I say, you will have a girl turned on in seconds. What you do afterward is up to you. When I was 19, and a newborn in the club scene, I was watching an episode of Howard Stern with a guest on the show named Dr. Orgasm. The guy claimed to know a spot below a woman's hips that, when touched with the right pressure, can turn her on madly...and bring her to orgasm. Of course on the show, Howard deflates the guy's method by having him test it on some jacked-up super-dyke. He can't get her to cum, and Howard says he's phony. But the guy was VERY convinced that he was right, and told everyone to "try it on a girl when you are dancing with her in a club". So what do I do the next time I'm out? That's right, tried it on a girl in the club. What happened? First, after a few seconds of touching it while dancing, the girl turns to me and tells me I'm a good dancer for a white boy (funny cuz she's white too), and that she didn't expect it from me. Nice. A few beats later she starts getting into it big time, and starts to bend over like I'm fuckin' her doggy style. (And overall that's what club dancing is--simulated sex with your clothes on...you just act like you are fucking.) Everyone on the dance floor is looking at me go at it with her, and all the while I'm thinking, "Holy shit, I feel like some kind of porno star right now!" Then, she wraps her arms around my neck and starts in with the tongue-down. Here begins my use of the fail-proof dancing tactic that has almost never let me down. If I don't get tongue and/or pussy off it, the girl usually still thinks I'm hot, and I almost always get a number (boo-hoo, a number). On with the description of how to do this, shall we? Pg 159
1. Get on the dance floor with a girl To open a set on the dance floor, find a girl who's already dancing. I'm talking, really into the moment. As you walk by, start grinding your butt against hers playfully. She won't expect it, and if she is cool, she will laugh at your cocky/funny humour. If she laughs, turn around, smile at her big, take her hand and pull her close to you. It's C/F with elements of direct game, you gotta man-up and do this shit. Also, you can do a variation where you catch her dancing and you come by and start grinding your ass against her pelvis. This actually works better, because it is funnier...and it gives that pussy of hers a little tingle. With anything, there's always some failure rate, so if she pushes you away, just walk away. If she slaps you, keep in mind, it's a girl...no need to turn around and knock her out. Both of these things have happened to me before, it's no big deal. Move to the next girl. And too, beware of the good ol' AMOG, who's ready to pop up with his stern Mr. Bigshit look that let's you know these bitches are with him. Mmm'KAY? The greater the risk, the greater the reward. Try it and you'll see. Moving right along... 2. THE MAGIC SPOT So where exactly is the magic spot you ask? It's simply a PRESSURE POINT right below her hips on the sides of her ass. The pressure point is connected to nerve endings that go right to her CLIT, and get her hot really fast when pressed firmly in a circular motion. Picture her ass in front of you. The magic spots are right about at the 10 and 2 position (like the steering wheel). 3. Get into position You know, club dancing is pretty much NOT REAL DANCING so you just have to know how to FUCK in order to do it good. When you pull her over to you, turn her so that her ass is right against your pelvis. Not your DICK. Your PELVIS. Her ass should be resting right where your pubic hair is, so if you have a big chub, don't worry, she won't feel it (not until she turns around after dancing a few minutes and gives it a big squeeze! Love it...). Onward... Your hands are not to be GROPING or doing anything that all the other joe-schmoe wannabe players are doing on the dance floor. Your hands and fingertips are resting lightly on the sides of her ass, just below her hips on THE SPOT. As you move your hips to the beat with her, press into that spot below her hips and move your fingertips in a circular motion. DO NOT put your hands anywhere else. No touching her waist, her stomach, her breasts, or directly on her ass cheeks. Just move your pelvis with the motion of her ass movement...just like fucking from behind. It should start off like a flowing wave motion, but you should pick it up so that your pelvic bone is hitting her ass just like it would be if you were having sex doggy style. This very hard for me to explain, but I want to get it right, cuz it's money. So all you have to do is dance with her in the position I described above and touch that spot firmly, in a circular motion. If you get advanced with it, you can do a little front-to-front action, and if you have touched the spot enough to Pg 160
where you know she's horny, you can experiment with holding her hands while you are grinding your hips together. Just remember, your hands should be in the ass/hip region at all times, fingertips on that spot. NOT at the girls waist, or some other shit. After doing this, you will see just how many other guys have their hands in the wrong places on a girl. And it's good they are, cuz it's better for you and me! 4. WHEN SHE GETS TURNED ON Love this part. After she gets a feeling with you, she'll probably turn around with a sultry look on her face. This is the point where you look deep into her eyes and kiss her. Then, pull her hair back and kiss her neck. From there, you're on your own. I say take her off the dance floor and into the photo booth, if the club has one. Bring a condom while you're at it. So to wrap this whole thing up I want to note a key point that has happened with my experience with this. A few times, before I started actively kissing the girls at the turn-around point (CRITICAL WINDOW BY THE WAY), the girl would turn around, look me in the eyes, and say, "Thanks for that," and I say, "For what?" and the girl says, "For dancing...I liked it". SOOOOO.... I don't know...maybe that Dr. Orgasm guy on Howard Stern was right, and these girls actually went off while dancing, or just got really wet. All I know for sure is that when I do this, the girl GETS INTO IT LIKE SHE'S FUCKING. It's unbelievable. She gets completely turned on and loses control. I love it! You don't need salsa dancing to get what you want, just do this and cut to the chase. Try it out...you'll be laughing your ass off when you are boning a hot girl who you've never even talked to!
USER : CosmicCowBoy I had some trouble trying to figure out what you were talking about EXACTLY.... wouldn't want to try this without knowing exactly where/how to run. so I did a search, found this video. I think the girls were getting off but had to put up some anti-slut defence. http://wewin.com/STACEY-ON-STERN-DR-ORGASM-2.aspx
USER : Klutch AWESOME. Thanks for the clip CosmicCowboy. Yeah it's right in the spot he's touching in the clip. Do exactly what he's doing in the video except while dancing. After doing this a lot, I realized as long as you are touching right in that vicinity, you're good to go. I cannot believe the responses the girls all consistently give. It is unbelievable. If they really do cum, then good for them. The point is, they ALWAYS get extremely turned on. Watch how other guys dance with girls in the club. Many are groping her body in some kind of suggestive way that girls HATE. Then there are other guys who can dance really good without even touching the girl. Good for them, but it's not as much of a sure bet as manually turning up the wetness knob yourself! Nobody knows about this shit! It's so subtle, the girl herself doesn't even know the spot exists. Pg 161
USER : QuickAndClever How accurate do you think you need to be for them to feel any effect? Like how big of a radius would you give the "spot"?
USER : Klutch From my experience, you don't have to be right on it, as long as you are touching in the general vicinity. Check out the clip that CosmicCowboy posted. Try to go for that same spot, doing the same motion, except while dancing. If you touch that hip/ass region, she'll get turned on. If you press into that region firmly in the circular motion, the girl is gonna get EXTREMELY turned on. If you are dancing with the girl, and she starts to bend over like you are having sex, then you are doing it right...BIG TIME. One time I was dancing with a chick and she was totally bent over doggystyle, and my brother saw me and told me that I looked like The Pounder (the semi-bald guy with the eagle tattoo) from Cumfiesta.com, going at it like an animal. I was never a "dancer" and I'm still not...by no means.
USER : Ijjjji I testify to this. Grace this spot with your fingertips. Run them up and down her 'side perimeter'. Grace also the area under where the hip bone on the front. Have made several girls go SPASTIC in middle of pub by doing this.
USER : ModernSavage This is interesting because my dance game is by far my strongest skill and after reading this post I realized that this is one of the main things that I do when dancing with girls. Though my dancing usually involves push pull while doing a Latin style of dance. When I do get really close to a girl and kino, I always hold her by these spots just below the hips and in my experience, it does make them really horny. The only thing I don't do is rub in a circular motion. It is usually either a firm press or gently rubbing up and down.
USER : YazzleMan This shit is fucking money!! Just read this post today and thought I'd try it out. This technique is damn accurate!! I was over at a ladies house tonight when a song came on the radio. I don’t remember what the song was, but I grabbed the girl and said "let’s dance"! I started with my hands on hers, and slowly ran them down her arms, over her belly, and right to the magic spot. After 3 seconds of contact she got waaay into the dancing. She was using her whole body and was basically grinding my dick as hard as she could, much more than any other girl I've danced with even at a club. And the whole time she was using her hands to press mine down on her even harder. She loved it! Thirty seconds of this and she was tonguing me down in her living room
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EBOOK - 60
YEARS OF CHALLENGE
From 60 Years of Challenge's ebook available on http://escalationisattractive.wordpress.com
Ch. 0 – New Lessons LR: Say Something “I don’t escalate quickly because I think that it makes me cool. The only reason I seduce women quickly is because it’s much easier” Chilling up at the bar. I see a cute brunette to my right dancing in place and having fun with her friends. I like her energy. I want to talk to her but I stall. I can’t get the words out. The next thought that comes into my head is “You waited too long. You creeped her out. Just forget it.” As usual, I ignore the negative voice and turn towards her. “Hey…I want to meet you” I deliver this with a seductive but very serious voice. Very humble. The more scared you are the more genuine you should be. Beat fear with love. I put out my hand to introduce myself, she takes it and we start talking. I don’t let go of her hand and she doesn’t pull away. Time stops. I know it’s probably on. Even still I move really close to her quickly. Better to move close now, than wait until later on when it’s more obvious. She likes to read. Nice. Me too. This girl is cool. I love smart women and I screen for intelligence. I listen to her intently as she talks about her passions. Want to be interesting? Forget talking, the most interesting man in the world is a good listener. At one point she tries to break the tension during a long silence by pleading with me to “say something”. She can’t deal with the tension. I win. She actually starts laughing to herself at certain points in the interaction for no apparent reason. If you weren’t skilled with women you might think she was laughing at you for trying to be seductive and go back to being social. But I know laughter is just her way of dealing with the sexual tension. I know whenever women test you or bait you to break rapport it’s only to try and break the tension. I ignore it. I can tell it’s on based on my proximity (she doesn’t move back), the initial handshake (she held on for a while) and her eyes (she is holding eye contact while talking to me, not looking around for something better). Despite all these positive signs I still want to solidify the physical connection or I know it all becomes just sexual tension masturbation. Sexual tension masturbation (STM) is when you think you have something going with a girl with your eye contact, vibe and all your little visualizations and other fantasy bullshit. Look man sexual tension is great, but if you don’t solidify the connection physically (i.e. mutual caressing) it all gets forgotten about. It was all in your head. You will go home and post about how you had “magical eye contact” and you could just “feel her energy”. That’s all great but if you want to get laid you need to make that connection official.
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Don’t use the power of sexual tension as an excuse not to start conversations or make overt physical escalations. You guys know who you are. The ones who say they “only open women with eye contact” (when actually they are scared to open) and “escalate with vibe” (obviously they’re really just scared to show overt interest). So I just reach out, take her hand and start caressing it. She starts caressing me back. We are now officially a couple. We are on the same team, working together. Now here is where most guys myself included can blow it. If feels so good as the couple-type pleasure chemicals course through your body. Your need for female affection and feminine energy takes over. You start thinking of her as a potential new girlfriend as you trance out to “don’t stop believing” on the jukebox. You want to know more about her. You want to bask in her enthusiasm for life. You’re buzzed. It’s always a good idea to remind yourself that women love sex. But the most important time to do this is immediately after an It’s On Moment (IOM). The sexual mindsets you study are most useful right now. It means nothing saying “women loves sex” when you post if you don’t remember it when it counts. And it’s not enough to just believe “women love sex as much as men”. That’s not good enough. You need to remind yourself in this moment that women love sex more than men. Yes, more is the key word! More than us. That seems to drive the point home. I’m always aware of my cock. It’s my emotional gage. I’m not hard. Why am I not hard? Ok we can fix that. While she talks I start picturing her blowing me face down on my bed while I palm her ass with one hand. Again, being in a sexual state is important, but if you are only going to pick one crucial moment per night to be in a sexual state, it’s right now! I am now operating from a desire for sex (need 1) vs. affection (need 2). A second ago I was daydreaming about getting coffee and snuggling up with her in bed with a good book. Nothing wrong with that except that women don’t snuggle with guys they don’t have a sexual connection with. I have to get the sex before I can be the guy enjoying coffee in bed. I really want this girl. I start to caress her lower back and move my hand down to her ass. First a light pat, then a hard smack, then an all out grab fest like I’m playing with a pair of nice tits. I love nice asses! “Girls asses are like breasts you can secretly play with at the bar” – 60 Since we have already done the prerequisite couples-kino my sexual kino is accepted as we continue to talk about our favourite books. A mistake I see a lot of guys make is they try and pull off the riskier sexual kino before an IOM. Then they wonder why it doesn’t work and she gives them shit. Couples kino first, sexual kino second. It’s not a rule or anything but it works well for me. In my experience, you can get away with almost anything after an IOM. I move my hand down the back of her skirt. Start playing with her thong. I tell her I like her for her mind but I really just love her ass. I start grabbing her bare ass. I tell her I’m not wearing underwear. Show her my cock is hard and blame it on her. By the way this is all happening at a chill Irish bar that is not packed. In other words, you have no excuse. You don’t have to be at some crazy club to push things sexually in a venue. She tries to kiss me and I pull back. I finally give her a quick kiss but I pretend to be upset that I broke my rule that I don’t kiss girls in bars. She feels special. She wants to smoke. We go outside and talk. Make a plan to get late night food and then we head back to her place. By the way this all went down in less than an hour, but quick seductions are really nothing for guys to brag about. It’s actually much easier to seduce a woman quickly at the beginning of the night then to wait until the end of the night. The longer you wait the harder it gets.
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In fact for a moment I had a slight limiting belief that because it was only 11:45 it was too early for a pull. I figured she would want to stay out later and hang with her friends. But sexual caressing doesn’t have to be the end of the night, it’s only the beginning. Take advantage of the sexual connection quickly before the window closes. No matter where you are, or what time it is.
Ch. 4 Escalation Mindsets The Man Behind The Eyes You Are Not Special These attraction responses are automatic and exist naturally. In other words, there is not much to do. The sexual tension is already there. All most guys really need to do to create attraction is 3 things. use seductive eye contact get close touch her Seductive Eye Contact It doesn’t matter who the man is behind the eyes. He could be anyone. He could be you. He could be me. It only matters that he had the confidence to hold seductive eye contact. That is what is so attractive. Of course if you are not traditionally “good looking” women might look at you like “how dare you be so confident”. That still doesn’t mean that your eye contact hasn’t attracted her. She still feels the butterflies. She is just testing you. How fucking dare you try and attract me. You are not in my league. If you let this kind of resistance get to you, you lose. Get Closer Most of the time just by getting really close women will automatically feel attraction for you. A spark is created as your chemicals, pheromones, and energies interact with each other. There is nothing you can do or say that is more important than this. She will intuitively feel like you guys have a “connection” and there is something “special” going on between you. (rolls eyes). Of course you feel something too. That crackle of tension in the air. Her smell. They way she is looking at you. You just want to “take” her. It doesn’t matter who you are, you just need to get close. She might move back but that is only because she feels sexual tension and even attraction for someone she is NOT typically supposed to like. It is scary. Guys just take this resistance as the woman doesn’t like them. They stop trying. I first started to notice this phenomenon when I was hanging out with women I wasn’t sexually attracted to at all (not my type) but for some reason when we ended up very close to each other for whatever reason (crowded subway, cab, by chance) I felt this strong and sudden powerful attraction towards them. It happened automatically. Touching Being touched and caressed feels good. It doesn’t really matter WHO is doing the touching. As such touching women automatically creates attraction. Again if they are not interested yet you will get tested more, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel good for her.
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Have you ever had an overweight slightly unattractive woman give you a massage. It still felt good right. You might not want to admit it, but it’s true. When you (or anyone) touches her she automatically feels good. I don’t care who you are. She might not like YOU, but it still feels really good. The Bad News This is all just nature, biology and physics. Nothing special. You are not a pick up guru. I used to think I was cool because most times I would get closer to a woman she would get nervous (in a good way) or I would hold seductive eye contact and girls would blush and give me that look. I used to think all these positive responses were because of me. I’m the man. The truth is we are just tapping into forces of nature and sexual tension that are already there. These feeling happen naturally as a result of a man and a woman being really close or gazing at each other. Nature senses a sexual opportunity and just assumes anyone inside this distance is there for a reason. This sudden “magical feeling” is just nature’s way of giving you both an extra PUSH to make sure something happens. It’s an automatic response. It’s not you. It’s not me. We aren’t cool. If you can put your ego aside for a second you will see that this is actually great news. It’s not You If I held eye contact, got really close and caressed your girlfriend she would most likely feel a strong sexual connection with me. She might not admit it but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. And if nobody else was around, well you know the rest. Don’t worry she still loves you pal (wink). The point is any guy can do this. This is all part of a bigger theme about how it’s not really about us. You think you are so special because when you hold eye contact or get closer to women you both feel that spark of sexual tension. It’s you right? You’re a seduction guru. Pft. This so called “magical feeling” and “connection” could happen to the same woman over and over again with every single guy at the bar. But few guys have the balls to hold eye seductive contact, touch her and cut space quickly. Most guys are waiting for definitive signs she is attracted first before doing anything like that. And the rest couldn’t deal with the tests and ASD they would get for being so aggressive and eventually blow their chance. It’s NOT that the guys who are good with women are doing anything special or different. It’s because they hold eye contact, get close and touch her quickly. Testing If you are not good looking, tall or her “type” you will get tested a lot more. In fact, you will be getting tested all the time. When anyone tries to move beyond their allotted place in life, refuses to keep quiet and play their position, they will be tested mercilessly. Women will look up and away, scrunch their face, move back, say “don’t touch me”, call you creepy, and laugh at you. But that doesn’t mean they are not attracted when hold eye-contact, touch and move closer. For now you will get lots of resistance and testing. How you react to that is up to you. It goes back to escalation is attractive. Seductive eye contact, touching and moving closer are escalations, but more importantly just by doing these things makes her automatically attracted to you. If you sit around waiting for signs of attraction before having the courage to get closer and touch her, you will be waiting forever. Orgy The dirty secret we all don’t want to admit is that there is an undercurrent of sexual tension between men and women so strong that if allowed to run free would result in everybody hooking up all the time. A huge fuck fest. A complete orgy. We can’t let this happen. How would men ever feel loved? How would women sell purity? Pg 166
That is why man invented things like Burkas, religion, and the cock blocking paparazzi. Girls may have and use ASD but most guys are also sexually repressed. We all fear the truth about the sexual tension that exists naturally between a man and a woman . That’s why most people interact from a “safe and polite” distance. Look most of this “game” stuff is just mental masturbation. There is really nothing SPECIAL you need to do or say. This sexual tension between a man and a woman exists naturally. It’s already there. Most of the times GAME is really just about NOT doing things that break that tension. i.e. Laughing, talking, reacting, looking away, fidgeting, facial expressions vs. actually doing anything at all. If there’s really anything to do it’s real simple stuff like just getting closer and grabbing her hand. Get Close to Screen Getting close is also great for screening. If I get really close to a girl and I don’t feel anything, like wanting to grab her hand, smell her or kiss her neck. I know we probably don’t have a strong enough sexual connection. All the more reason for you to save time and get close to her right away. Resistance? I don’t care how much (token) verbal resistance you are getting, you still need to get close to her to find out the truth. Remember, she may not even realize the primal “connection” you guys have. You haven’t got close enough for her to feel it yet. If you don’t feel that spark of tension and you can’t smell her you aren’t close enough. Getting close is the TRUE test of her interest level. Are you guys compatible? Is there a sexual connection here? Only nature knows for sure, but the answer is YES way more often than NO. Any time you get verbal resistance i.e. “we should just be friends” don’t say anything and slowly inch closer to her. Once you get inside a certain distance she won’t be able to resist the sexual connection you guys have that exists naturally. And NO, this doesn’t make you special.
Ch. 5 Seduction Tactics Milk The Intro The Clock is Ticking Your best shot is in the first minute. And your best opportunity to escalate quickly is the initial introduction. Think About It It’s a few seconds of deep seductive eye contact. You get physical contact, a handshake where you can hold onto her hand for longer than usual. Let her pull away first. And some rapport is built with the name exchange which also locks you in. That is why even if you open with a situational comment, introducing yourself is the very next thing you want to do. Next Level But you really need to take your introductions to the next level. Most guys have a lame intro like “nice to meet you” and a quick handshake. You always want to milk the intro. Which basically means use the initial introduction to push fast physical escalation. hold seductive eye contact hold onto her hand Pg 167
give her a compliment, you have soft hands spin her around pull her in close to you hug her, you smell nice double kiss (or quick kiss on the lips)
It’s On Your goal should be to try and make it “ON” right off the introduction. For example you have pulled her in very close to you and you are still holding hands. Now just lead her somewhere quiet where you can talk. No Speaking Before Isolation You don’t even have to use words for this. A good goal to shoot for is can you get her isolated before you even speak one word to her? You can walk over and simply put out your hand. Or open non-verbally with a spin or even a cheers! Don’t let go of her hand. Hold eye contact. Move in close. Now even closer. You will really start feeling the urge to say something and break the tension. Don’t. She might say something or ask you a question to try and break the tension. Just smile. Now lead her by the hand somewhere quiet and her sit down on your lap. Talking optional.
Using Kino: The It's On Moment I don’t worry about a kiss close My kiss close is a hand-hold. All you really need is an “it’s on” moment of mutual caressing. i.e. caressing each other’s hands The IOM After an IOM you both get that powerful new couple feeling. She is under the influence of the pleasure chemicals that are released. You are now on the same team. You are working together. She has admitted nonverbally that she likes you. No matter what she is saying on the verbal level (i.e. testing you, ASD) you can just ignore it. There is also a lot of comfort built during an IOM due to the mutual caressing. There is a huge difference between the kino escalation you can do before and after an IOM. Before: social kino like leaving your hand on her lower back. After: sexual kino like putting your hand down the back of her pants. In other words, after this moment the less important escalations guys worry about become unlocked. Things like her number, kissing and isolating all take care of themselves. Just go for those hands. They don’t lie. Listen to her hands not her. Creating the IOM Simply put your hand out for her to grab High five her and hold on Keep holding on after initial handshake Quickly transition the hold into mutual hand caressing. The reason you don’t stay holding her hand for too long is because the connotation of “holding on” is needy. Plus a hold isn’t really mutual. Pg 168
Troubleshooting What if she doesn’t grab onto your hand or pulls it away? Don’t verbalize it or make a joke. She won’t bring it up either. You can always try again later. Thus you have more opportunities when going for an IOM than using verbal escalations which can be verbally rejected. It’s like the resistance never even happened. Do you think you get more chances to go for the kiss or go for her hands? Which is easier to do with other people around? Which one if rejected requires almost zero damage control? What is Escalation? Guys think escalation means kissing. They try to create the right moment to go for a kiss. It never comes. Just go after her hands. Her hands don’t lie. What can you trust with all her mixed verbal responses, the hands! If she won’t even hold onto your hand or return kino (mutual caressing) then sorry, she is not interested. Time Wasters Women with low interest will go even as far as holding your hand. They will even let you try to kiss them. Although of course they will shyly turn away and won’t exactly kiss you back. She will pretend it’s just that she is shy. She wants to make it seem like you still have a chance. But one thing these time wasters will never do is mutual caressing. You will notice she absolutely will not caress your hands. She will not caress you back if you caress her. Laughing, smiling, staying, eye contact and tapping you. No problem. All these things she can fake. But mutual caressing, this repulses her. It repulses her because this is something people who really like each other do. And she doesn’t like you. No return hand caressing is a dead giveaway you are with a time waster. That is why you always go for those hands! An IOM can happen in seconds The easiest most consistent way to get to this moment is by playing with each other’s hands. The easiest part of your body for her to feel comfortable about caressing is your hands. She isn’t going to just start caressing your legs. The whole touch game is just two people feeling each other out. It’s a secret conversation. It’s the only conversation that matters and the only one you should be paying any attention to. This is how a guy who knows nothing about escalating gets lucky with a girl who already liked him. It take him three hours to have the perfect seat arrangement, get close enough to her to accidentally brush up against her hand, making her reflexively touch his hand, leading them to both have enough courage to start playing with each other’s hands. It finally becomes on. We are just using a blend of incidental and overt kino to speed up the process of getting to a moment of mutual caressing. Do not leave it to chance like the average guy. Make the it’s on moment happen. Conclusion So forget the out of nowhere kiss close and these other unimportant escalations that are stressing you out. Kissing her just reduces the sexual tension and gives her validation. Instead go for a mutual caressing IOM via a hand-hold. I’ve never in my life been able to caress a girls hand and not be able to isolate her, get her number, or kiss her in private later on. Pg 169
CH. 6 Escalation SP's Resistance Isn’t Real Keep quiet. Let her objection be heard and become part of the official record. Now you can try again. -60 Resistance doesn’t become real until you RESPOND to it. For example trying to convince her verbally to change her mind. Likewise, resistance doesn’t become real unless you REACT to it. For example, when you reveal by your facial expression that you are upset. Not Interested or Shy “aw, you’re so shy” It’s all comes down to how your mind interprets her resistance. For example, when you go to kiss a girl and she turns away. Does you interpret her turning away as meaning she doesn’t like you? Or does it mean she is just shy. This is very important because your response will be based on your interpretation. In other words, it’s the difference between laughing it off and trying again (persistence) and giving up and looking sad (pouting). The same issue comes into play when a woman tests you on the opener, ignores your texts or resists coming home with you. It’s the way you interpret her testing and resistance that will dictate your response. Opening You confidently roll up and grab her hand while motioning for her to spin. She makes a frumpy face and refuses to spin. You smile at her, turn your back and move on. Her lack of compliance doesn’t hurt your feelings because it was non-verbal. You didn’t waste even one word on an uninterested girl. However if you call her a bitch, ask her what’s wrong or look upset the resistance has become real. Tests No matter what test she throws at you just give her seductive eye contact and smile. She is already attracted to you so you don’t need to say anything. Don’t let her bait you into breaking rapport and turn the vibe from seductive back to social. At a certain point every test is ASD anyway. You should be ignoring these comments. You are now on the same team and working together. Don’t go backwards. Only respond verbally to a test if you have something really good to say. I mean it better be really good. If not, it’s much safer to just keep your mouth shut, hold eye contact and smile. There will be way too many tests to always have a good response. For example which response do you think is better? “I’m old enough to be your mother” 1. I have a big thing for Cougars (wink) 2. Hold seductive eye contact and smile, turn head away slow Although the cougar line is funny it comes with the risk of breaking rapport and giving her an excuse to reject you. Even though she likes you. The safer play is always seductive eye contact and smiling. Isolating & Leading It’s always better to say you’re sorry than to ask for permission. Can I borrow her for a second? Let’s grab a spot over here where it is quieter. Lame. Just grab her hand and start leading her where you want. If she asks where are we going, just smile. If she pulls her hand away and absolutely refuses to follow you don’t try to convince her. Let her go. Either move on to another girl or try the same thing again later. Pg 170
Eye Contact & Kino Escalating the vibe with eye contact is non-verbal so you will rarely get verbal resistance. In rare cases she might say “you’re weird” or “you look tired” but you should just smirk and ignore those comments. Likewise, you will rarely get any verbal resistance to your touching because it’s all happening discreetly. You will only get non-verbal resistance. For example, you move closer and she moves back. It’s not an official rejection. It’s like it never happened. You can easily try again and again until you get it right. Persistence is attractive. Even if she does say “watch those hands” or “what are you doing” you don’t say anything. Just smile and ignore it. Remember, even if you say something innocent like “I’m not doing anything” you have now made the resistance real. It’s out in the open. You’re in damage control. Pulling Girls Home Let’s get out of here. We can always come back. She says I can’t. I’m not leaving my friends. Don’t try to convince her logically by saying that her friends won’t mind if she leaves. Keep quiet. Let her objection be heard and become part of the official record. Smile. No pouting. Two minutes later you tell her again. Let’s go. OK. Now she can tell her girlfriends later that she tried to resist you but you were persistent. Or just grab her hand and lead her to the bathroom. If she protests verbally i.e. “no way. what are you crazy?” just ignore it and continue to lead her by the hand. Don’t say anything. Just give her a devilish grin. If she actually pulls her hand away let her go. Smile and try again later. The Right Way to Be Persistent You can be as persistent as you want as long as you don’t come across as annoying. In other words as long as you never try to convince her you can try as many times as you like. Never Try to Convince Anytime you try to verbally convince a woman of anything it quickly turns into debating before you know it. This is one small step away from arguing. You are making her resistance real. It is now official in her mind. I am resisting this guy. Instead when you get any type of resistance don’t say anything. Never verbalize what is going on. Never have a “talk” about the seduction. She says I don’t think we should see each other again, you keep your mouth shut. Don’t Let Her Off The Hook We should grab a drink this week. This week? Um, I think I might be working. *awkward moment That’s cool. I know how that is. It’s not your job to make her feel comfortable. You sense she feels awkward after resisting you so you try to make her feel comfortable by breaking the tension and saying something. She just dissed you and you are more worried about her feelings than your own. Weak. Instead let her feel bad for breaking rapport for you. Let her feel the pressure. Sometimes this moment of silence gives her a second to reconsider which leads her to agreeing to your request. Actually I might be off on Thursday. Yeah let’s grab a drink. She became more attracted because she saw you could deal with the tension. This can’t happen if you let her off the hook with words. Keep the pressure on. Pg 171
If it’s obviously going nowhere and you really need to say something simply say fair enough and leave. You don’t owe her any further explanation than that. No Big Deal Resistance doesn’t mean the same thing to a woman as it does to a man. A woman fully expects to resist you a few times. It’s all part of the game. It’s men who always seem to take resistance personally and think that it means the seduction is over. To her it’s no big deal.
Mental Masturbation Kino Do you really think she remembers your incidental arm taps and you touching her shoulder? Pfft. You go home and post about it like it was something memorable. She got boned that night by someone else. You don’t get additional “points” for doing extra kino. You can spend hours doing 100 different kino moves or you can simply put out your hand for her to take, transition the hold into mutual caressing and boom it’s on. I’m not saying mutual caressing is something she will remember forever either, but it’s a good start. Something real, official and key word MUTUAL has now happened between you. She is now more invested. She will remember that moment way longer than all this other mental masturbation kino guys talk about that they did. I left my hand on her lower back for three seconds bro it was totally rad! Everybody talks about how they got some “good kino” going. What the fuck does that mean? Usually not much. I call this mental masturbation kino because the guy thinks it all somehow meant something to her. Sorry boys, unless the caressing gets returned and becomes MUTUAL it meant nothing. When you leave it all gets erased. It’s like it never happened. Despite all the effort, you didn’t reach kino goal #1 which is making it mutually “on”. You couldn’t get the job done. You couldn’t create the moment. If you don’t have a kino goal you are basically just feeling around in the dark hoping something will work. Kino Goal #1 Use a blend of incidental and overt kino to create a moment of mutual caressing 1. you start tapping her when making a point 2. your tapping turns into leaving your hand on her for a few seconds and then removing it 3. the next time instead of removing your hand you leave it there 4. while the hand is there you caress her for a few seconds and then stop 5. you start caressing her again but you don’t stop, making your intentions obvious You are now half-way to a K-IOM. She has accepted your caressing. Don’t celebrate just yet. It still needs to be returned. Good luck getting her to caress you back. That’s why the easiest IOM is the hands. The secondary benefits are that the “incidental” kino (i.e. moving closer) helps you CALIBRATE if and when you should try for the IOM. And the “overt” kino (i.e. caressing her lower back) creates attraction because escalation is attractive.
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But despite all the kino you do, if it doesn’t turn into mutual caressing, it doesn’t even matter because nothing became official. When you leave she thinks “nice guy, but I guess it wasn’t meant to be” The solution for this up until recently was to do lots of random kino and then lunge for a “kiss close” so you had definitive proof it was on. And we all know what all that kissing you’ve done has lead to. Once you reach mutual caressing a massive amount of comfort is built. You are now on the same team and working together. Now it’s time to get aggressive. After mutual kino your main goal becomes using sexual kino. Unless you are well calibrated and have experience using a super aggressive strategy from the start, you shouldn’t skip the mutual caressing step. Kino Goal #2 Use sexual kino to get her so turned on that she wants to immediately go home with you. Or even better hook up right now i.e. caressing her ass, sides, exposed legs, inner thighs Any additional “non-sexual” couple type kino you do after the mutual caressing IOM is at best just “running in place” or at worst “extra work”. In some cases additional couples kino like hand holding can become played out and ruin your chances at a quick pull. Beside MM-Kino there is also mental masturbation eye contact. No matter how much of a connection you “think” you have going with your seductive vibe and sexual tension, if that connection does not become official through mutual caressing it all gets forgotten. Remember guys. If it doesn’t turn into mutual caressing all that kino and seductive eye contact was all in your head
Ch. 8 The Sexual Threat Sexual Kino After It’s On After “it’s mutually on” it’s much easier to get away with using sexual kino. The problem is most guys either try to use sexual kino too early or stick to couples type kino after it’s on. They get all “in love” and focus more on their need for female affection. Sexual Kino Exposed skin counts as double-kino. For example, lifting up the back of her shirt and caressing the skin of her lower back. Touching, caressing, slapping and then grabbing her ass is a very low risk sexual kino move. Women’s asses are like breasts you can play with at the bar. Stand behind her and have her dance grinding her ass into you. This will get you hard in seconds.
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COMPLETE SYSTEM - FEARLESS RELENTLESS ESCALATION - 60 YEARS OF CHALLENGE www.howtogetwithagirl.com
[email protected] Chapter 5: Seduction Tactics Don’t Pull Away First Talk with the Hand There will be certain situations where it can be more difficult to start kino. For example, your waitress is standing while you are sitting down or the girl you like is working behind the bar. You might not have the opportunity to use lots of touching but you can still use this one powerful move. Despite distance or bad positioning you can always ask for her name and put out your hand. Never Pull Away First “can I have my hand back now” Whenever you shake hands with a woman make it a rule to never be the first one to let go. Always let her pull her hand away first. In other words, hold on for at least as long as she does. You already do this right? Think again. You will be surprised to learn that it’s actually YOU who is pulling your hand away before she does. Maybe you just want to be polite or after a few seconds you start to get nervous. But being polite doesn’t create attraction. You want her to be a little nervous. Tension. It’s On. Holding on to her hand a little longer than she expects creates tension and gets her heart beating. Which is a really good thing if she likes you. (And may get a bad reaction if she doesn’t). Like most things in seduction it’s the person who can better deal with the sexual tension that wins. For example who is going to be the one to talk first, break eye contact first or pull their hand away first. Sometimes she won’t pull her hand away and you will stay holding hands right off the bat. Most women have already decided if they like you based on your looks and presence. This bold move just confirms it right away. Testing Interest And you are? Something as simple as asking for her name and shaking hands can reveal a lot about a woman’s interest level. Purposely make sure not to give her your name. You do this because you want to see if she asks you for YOUR name. If she doesn’t ask that’s a bad sign. She doesn’t care who you are. Also pay special attention to how long she keeps holding your hand. Does she hold on for as long as you do or does she pulls her hand away quickly and seem uncomfortable. You can actually feel her trying to pull her hand away. No Introduction, No Rapport Here’s another tip for turning more of the women you introduce yourself to into good sets. Investing time and effort into a woman before you have introduced yourself is just silly. Women always give you a lot more trouble before you have introduced yourself. You are already teasing her and being entertain but to her you are still just a nobody. Until you introduce yourself you are a total stranger.
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Exchanging names is also a good idea because it builds rapport and locks you in. But don’t worry she won’t be feeling too comfortable. When you combine an extended hold with seductive eye contact there will still be a spark of electricity in the air. The handshake introduction is a great move for building rapport, testing her interest level, creating tension and making it “on” quickly. As such, putting out your hand while asking for her name is a must do in every interaction
Seductive Listening Eye Contact Close: The Sparkle Eye Contact Goal: Keep holding seductive eye contact until her pupils dilate. See if you can do it. Make it a fun game. It’s always good to have a goal in seduction. Just like the main goal of your kino is an it’s on moment of mutual caressing you need a goal for your eye contact. A benchmark to reach. If you don’t have a goal you are basically just using a variety of techniques: eye contact, visualization and silence in no particular order and for no apparent reason. If you don’t close all the vibing and eye contact you did gets forgotten by her. Thus it was all just mental masturbation. When done correctly there will come a brief moment while seductive listening when you will both be silent. You lock eyes. There is a crackle of tension in the air and time stops. Who is going to talk first? She is in a trance. Your eyes sparkle. She starts to blush and smiles. Flash her a confident but slightly shy smile as if to say “I feel it too”. Then turn your head away very slowly to release some tension. This is the eye contact close. A moment of mutual seduction. It is definitely on! Don’t forget to use a blend of incidental and overt touch. You have a five minute window of seductive listening before it gets played out. As such, make sure before you begin listening to her that you are in a good position to use kino whether seated or standing. Listening to her without touching her equals the friend zone. At some point you are just going to have to put out your hand for her to grab. Transition the hold into caressing. This is the close. If you don’t touch her and create an IOM all the seductive vibe and tension you created becomes just seductive mental masturbation. It all gets forgotten. Seductive Listening Conclusion You don’t need full isolation to use seductive listening. No matter who’s around the vibeconnection becomes a sexy secret between you and your girl. Other people won’t really know what is going on. They will think you attracted her by magic. Don’t be surprised if she starts eye coding you about other guys who are trying to hit on her. This means you guys are communicating on your own non-verbal channel. When you are communicating with a woman non-verbally, you are way ahead of every other guy around. Of course seductive listening requires risking creepy. Some girls will try to switch the vibe back to social or bait you to break rapport. Don’t fall for the trap. She is only doing this because she is aroused and nervous. You can find out everything you need to know when listening. If a woman constantly avoids your eye contact, moves back when you move closer and doesn’t comply when you put out your hand, she is not interested. No worries. Nothing was verbalized and you can both walk away and save face. Pg 175
The It’s On Moment How to use Kino I don’t worry about a kiss close. My kiss close is a hand-hold. All you really need is an “it’s on” moment of mutual caressing. i.e. caressing each other’s hands The IOM Definition: An IOM is the mutual physical manifestation of the connection that has been building between you and a woman. The key words here are mutual and physical. Moves like forcing a kiss may convey aggressiveness but they are not mutual. A phone number is not an IOM. An agreement to meet is not an IOM. Grinding against her ass and molesting her body on the dance floor is not an IOM. Lunging at her for a sloppy makeout is not an IOM. Her grabbing your ass and twisting your nipple is not an IOM. Ask yourself why you are afraid to make an overt physical move. However, mutual caressing is. An IOM is an overt mutual physical move that puts you on the same team and makes it more likely she will continue to comply with future physical escalations and requests. I’m sure you have seen a guy all over a woman on the dance floor only to find out later that she won’t even go sit down and talk with him for a minute. No IOM, no compliance. After an IOM you both get that powerful new couple feeling. She is under the influence of the pleasure chemicals that are released. You are now on the same team. You are working together. She has admitted nonverbally that she likes you. No matter what she is saying on the verbal level (i.e. testing you, asd) you can just ignore it. There is also a lot of comfort built during an IOM due to the mutual caressing. There is a huge difference between the kino escalation you can do before and after an IOM. Before: social kino like leaving your hand on her lower back. After: sexual kino like putting your hand down the back of her pants. In other words, after this moment the less important escalations guys worry about become unlocked. Things like her number, kissing and isolating all take care of themselves. Just go for those hands. They don’t lie. Listen to her hands not her. Un-official Attraction Escalation is really about making the attraction that is already there official. There are probably hundreds of times in your life that you attracted a woman but you didn’t solidify that connection by trying for an IOM. If you don’t make an overt physical move that attraction you built never becomes official. It’s like it never happened. You wasted a perfectly good opportunity. What a shame. Hundreds of connections lost, hundreds of women you will never experience in this lifetime. Creating the IOM Simply put your hand out for her to grab High five her and hold on Keep holding on after initial handshake Quickly transition the hold into mutual hand caressing. The reason you don’t stay holding her hand for too long is because the connotation of “holding on” is needy. Plus a hold isn’t really mutual. Troubleshooting What if she doesn’t grab onto your hand or pulls it away? Pg 176
Don’t verbalize it or make a joke. She won’t bring it up either. You can always try again later. Thus you have more opportunities when going for an IOM than using verbal escalations which can be verbally rejected. It’s like the resistance never even happened. Do you think you get more chances to go for the kiss or go for her hands? Which is easier to do with other people around? Which one if rejected requires almost zero damage control? What is Escalation? Guys think escalation means kissing. They try to create the right moment to go for a kiss. It never comes. Just go after her hands. Her hands don’t lie. What can you trust with all her mixed verbal responses, the hands! If she won’t even hold onto your hand or return kino (mutual caressing) then sorry, she is not interested. Time Wasters Women with low interest will go even as far as holding your hand. They will even let you try to kiss them. Although of course they will shyly turn away and won’t exactly kiss you back. She will pretend it’s just that she is shy. She wants to make it seem like you still have a chance. But one thing these time wasters will never do is mutual caressing. You will notice she absolutely will not caress your hands. She will not caress you back if you caress her. Laughing, smiling, staying, eye contact and tapping you. No problem. All these things she can fake. But mutual caressing, this repulses her. It repulses her because this is something people who really like each other do. And she doesn’t like you. No return hand caressing is a dead giveaway you are with a time waster. That is why you always go for those hands! An IOM can happen in seconds The easiest most consistent way to get to this moment is by playing with each other’s hands. The easiest part of your body for her to feel comfortable about caressing is your hands. She isn’t going to just start caressing your legs. The whole touch game is just two people feeling each other out. It’s a secret conversation. It’s the only conversation that matters and the only one you should be paying any attention to. This is how a guy who knows nothing about escalating gets lucky with a girl who already liked him. It take him three hours to have the perfect seat arrangement, get close enough to her to accidentally brush up against her hand, making her reflexively touch his hand, leading them to both have enough courage to start playing with each other’s hands. It finally becomes on. We are just using a blend of incidental and overt kino to speed up the process of getting to a moment of mutual caressing. Do not leave it to chance like the average guy. Make the it’s on moment happen. IOM Conclusion So forget the out of nowhere kiss close and these other unimportant escalations that are stressing you out. Kissing her just reduces the sexual tension and gives her validation. Instead go for a mutual caressing IOM via a hand-hold. I’ve never in my life been able to caress a girls hand and not be able to isolate her, get her number, or kiss her in private later on. Pg 177
THE BOOK OF POOK On Kino I've noticed that the concept of kino is almost as widely misunderstood as neghits, So many newbies rush out there with 'neghits' as wild knights to destroy the hot chicks' castle-like egos. Likewise, so many newbies get creepy with the kino. You're right, it IS misunderstood. These are subtle tools, not sledgehammers. With anything, keep your attitude light and fun. If heaviness weighs down your spirit, don't go experimenting. so I wrote this to provide some added insight into what is REALLY going on with kino. Hopefully it will be of help to those who are interested. I am interested! Speak on, Mr. DeepBlue! The common view of kino is that you're giving the woman pleasure and that this arouses her and makes her attached to you. If this is the common view of kino, then there is a problem. That is certainly true, NO! Saying that Kino is to give the WOMAN pleasure? Why is the focus on the woman? No, the focus MUST be on YOURSELF. Yes, she should find pleasure in the kino. But YOU should find pleasure in the kino too. You touch her because YOU want to, not because SHE wants it. Why? Because she wants to be TOUCHED and FLIRTED with by EVERY DECENT-CUTE GUY. We are not play-toys for their endless appetite of sexuality. and we're lucky we live in a time when doing kino with a woman is considered acceptable as soon as you start getting to know her. In older times, guys like Casanova had to be extraordinarily seductive with their *words* just so they could get to the point where they could begin to use kino. Nah, the seduction of women hasn't really changed. The same rules apply. The only real difference in this age is that ugly chicks don't have dowries (how else can you get a man to marry them?) and most women are financially independent. Also, males are afraid of being men and scared of their own sexuality (the AFC) Did you know that HALF of all the marriages in the British Colonies of North America, right around the War of Independence, was when the woman was already pregnant? These were the Puritans as well! Our ancestors were Don Juans. Why not we? But the key thing to understand about kino is that when you initiate it with a chick whom you're just getting to know, is that it isn't merely an arousing stimulus, it also challenges the barriers between you. So true! If I ever read another post that says, "She did X and Y, then Z!!! Oh, and look at how she did M and then went and N! DOES SHE LIKE ME OR IS SHE BEING NICE?" the answer is, "DID YOU TOUCH HER?" Kino ALWAYS has a SURE answer (as well as asking her out. But she can date you to be polite, she cannot fake her reaction to kino) Kino is a GREAT way to test their interest. Girls that don't like you, or find you neutral, will not like you touching them. Usually when I kino a girl, it is very subtle. Everyone else in the universe thinks it is innocent. However, if a girl believes that you are being friendly versus liking her, she will choose to think that you like her. Thus, any kino is interpreted as LIKING HER. She usually then RAINS kino back on poor Pook. She'll rub your arm. Rub her body against you. Anything. Whatever you do, DO NOT Pg 178
KINO girls that you are not interested in. I have done this and these girls obsessed about me to the end. One planned out our marriage and all. Kino is THAT powerful. In fact... oh, DeepBlue wishes to speak. The presence of those invisible barriers which you both maintain in your minds is really the key difference between being lovers and strangers. IN YOUR MIND. Yes! NOT in her mind. Women fall in love with their bodies; men fall in love with their mind. It is from men that the idealized love springs from poetry to sculpture to paintings, etc. Yet, if women are caressed the right way, touched in the proper manner, at the right speed, etc. then they are yours. (This is why women want men that are 'experienced' because they want to FEEL that way. Women have no concept of idealization from the virtue of virginity or maidenhood, etc. except in relation to society.) Men's sexuality is focused and concentrated within his body. With a woman, her sexuality is diffused throughout her entire body. All touch to her is sexual since she is entirely sexual. Typical AFC behavior is to respect those barriers too much and to never challenge them. That by definition maintains the barriers, leaving them in place. Doesn't matter how well he gets to know the chick, if he leaves those barriers in place he will never be her lover--THAT is why he ends up in the friend category. AFC is scared of HIS sexuality. He is scared of carnal embrace. Because he actually reinforced the barriers instead of destroying them. No, because he acted like penis-less ape who has money, can speak, but is some bizarre androgynous. It is men that create the barriers. If men would embrace their own sexuality (dress better, be athletic, act like a man, exercise the muscles, etc.), then women WILL jump you. This is what the PUAs must realize. It is not that they are pressing the woman's buttons. They are merely disarming the barriers, letting REAL women, not domesticated women, out of their society-reflective cages ("If I do this I will be seen as a slut" etc. THAT is put to sleep.) Women WANT union ALL THE TIME. Even if they are married, pregnant, engaged, or have a BF, they want YOU to be sexual towards them. (but this doesn't mean you should) Alas, I am moving away from the kino topic. Go on, DeepBlue! Go on! Anyway, the next level up from AFC is to realize that you have to crumble those barriers, so you work on them, but you're still leery about causing any anxiety, and still a bit nervous about challenging the barriers. Nervous about the barriers? It is nervous about realizing your own sexuality. So you look for excuses to touch, Hehe, it will still be interpreted in the woman's mind as, "He wants to have sex with me." She will see through the excuses, right ladies? or you reach out and caress her but it has a slightly rushed quality because you're trying to mask some underlying nervousness. But ultimately where you want to get to is the point where you recognize that for a woman, the experience of having you challenging the barriers is not ONLY a source of axiety for her, but is also a source of EXCITEMENT. And the idea is to shift the balance so that she experiences more excitement than anxiety. The excitement comes FROM YOU. If she is experiencing anxiety, IT IS YOUR FAULT. Women are reflective in nature. If I take a Nice Guy with me to the Women-Fest, this is what happens: "How are you Pg 179
ladies! I am the Pook!" She shivers with excitement. "OH! It is a POOK!" She and I are having a fabulous time. She is happy and smiling. My Nice Guy dork friend just looks sad, confused, bothered, angry, sad, depressed, sad, confused, and so on. She looks over at the Nice Guy and her face FALLS. Her mood instantly evaporates. GO IN HAPPY and she will be happy. GO IN NERVOUS and she will be nervous and unhappy. Ever see a baby fall down? Notice how they don't know whether to laugh it off or cry so they look to their parents to see the parents face? If the parent frowns with concern then the baby starts crying. If the parent smiles the baby starts laughing. See above. Same with women. When you are entering new territory with a woman by challenging the "touch barriers" between you and her then you have to do it calmly and confidently and that CAUSES her to experience it as exciting. If you do it nervously she'll experience it as something that isn't right and that makes her uncomfortable. EXACTLY! One of the best ways to show confidence is to do it slowly, instead of rushing it. Nervous people rush things to mask their nervousness. THINK the outcome is already won. THINK that she is going to do all the ungodly things you want her to, it is just a matter of WHEN. In the meantime, you have fun because YOU KNOW THE OUTCOME. Women interpret this as confidence and persistence, two traits THAT TURN THEM ON (self-fulfilling prophecy, for as you think, THEY shall become) Nervous people also look away, so you calmly make eye contact, and nervous people look serious so be sure to smile a lot. Nervous people also make their voice tense, so you make yours relaxed, and make your posture very open and relaxed rather than being closed and tense. If you are nervous then you have not been around women very much. All these things will convey confidence causing her to mind to interpret your touch as a source of excitement, rather than a source of anxiety. Not only that, but she will START TOUCHING YOU like crazy! Good heavens, I have had to literally tell them to stop. Once you show it is ok to be touchy feely, by the heavens, they will unleash touchiness. The more you understand (and vicariously feel) the way your touch EXCITES her, the more you will naturally become confident about doing it. In other words, SHE LIKES IT. YOU LIKE IT. So DO IT. Besides convey confidence, the other thing you need to do with kino is to strike a balance so it isn't either too challenging, nor too tame. As you start slowly caressing her--her hand or her arm or her waist or back, or maybe feeling her cheek or her hair with your hand--the ideal to strive for is that you want to keep her gently balanced on the very edge of being too excited, so it is never too much for her to handle, nor so mild that it becomes tame. Hmm, I don't caress them unless I am going out with them or such. I usually touch them a little and it is like the floodgates are open on touching the Pook. Kino is to make sure you are not a Sexual Mannequin because Sexual Pg 180
Mannequins do not initiate kino! They just stand there and smile. But after the touch, she thinks of you in fleshand-blood terms then in the abstract image way. In other words, in a PHYSICAL way. In Womaniverse, you cannot separate the physical from the sexual. Anything physical you do with her she interprets as sexual (probably why girls fall in love with you during ACTION dates since they are using their bodies from dancing to skating and so on).
BABYGIRL COMPILATION(LSS.COM/FORUM) From TP torrent “BabyGirl's Archive - Removed most fluff [5 DOC]”
General.doc Kino “Taking the lead...”( pg 44) Hi Guys, I was just putting down some thoughts on the important skill of leading. An important distinction: by leading, we do not mean the leader of a big company, such as Richard Branson; although he well may be a major ) In this context, we mean someone who’s a player. (Somehow I doubt it leads an interaction. Badboy taught me that woman are like stones; he was making the point that they don’t do a great deal. That’s not to say they aren’t amazing in every way; it’s just that their role in the initial courtship process is not as involved as ours. Woman have to fulfil 3 simple roles: They make themselves look good, in coffee shops, bars and clubs. They expose themselves (not flash their racks) They demonstrate interest. (show IOIs). Men that can lead are very attractive to woman. Why? Leading is a masculine trait. Whatever they may tell you, woman like men who take decisions, keep them safe and lead the interaction. Leading demonstrates confidence. Leading demonstrates dominance. The better your game, the more you will lead and the less the woman will do; the more comfortable she will feel in her role as a woman. You must look to lead throughout the entire interaction; this is both physically as well as verbally. Physical Leading: Remember: “woman are like stones,” and you therefore have to move them around. For all the reasons listed above, physically leading a girl can create powerful attraction within girls. Example: You are talking to a girl in a bar and you want to lead her somewhere: BG: Come on, let’s go get a drink at the bar. You take her hand and then walk towards the bar. Don’t look back; it’s needy and you must be committed to the move. You must be “gently dominant.” Gently but firmly lead the girl and she will come. DO NOT use force as Pg 181
it will be met with resistance. Physical leading should be very smooth. Resist the temptation to rip, tug or grab her or more often than not, she will pull back against you. A few tips: Always have a reason to move the girl. When you start to lead her away, keep talking as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. This will occupy her logical brain and will reduce the chance of her resisting being led. Physical leading is great for isolating girls. When you are standing in a group of people, you say to the group: BG: I am just going to take Chrissy for a quick shot of Sambuca… we’ll be back in a few minutes. Take her by the hand, and lead her away smoothly and keep talking. It is also very useful to lead the girl a number of times around the club. Firstly, you will be able to practice your leading and secondly, the more you lead, the more she will become attracted to you. Touching in the club: This is another variation on physical leading. We all know how important it is to touch girls in clubs and bars. “Kino is king.” It is very important that you learn how to put your hands on a woman in a bar or club without invoking negative responses. Touch a girl in the right way and she will be receptive to your touch. Touch her in the wrong way and things can go badly wrong!! Touching should never be forceful or aggressive. It is very difficult to describe in words, but I will try. It should be gentle and smooth, but with a touch of dominance. She should always be able to pull away if she wants, but you should also be able to guide her where you want. If you put your arm out to stop a girl walking by, make sure there is some give in your arm. If there isn’t, she will interpret like you are trying to grab her like the other AFCs in the venue and she will act accordingly (What happens to most AFCs?) When you pull a girl in close, ensure that you are doing so in a smooth, gentle but dominant way. I call it “weak hands;” it’s like “gentle dominance”. You know what you want and you move to get it, but you don’t just grab at it. Remember, smooth and assured touching will be rewarded with compliance and attraction. Force will be met with resistance. I know which one I want. Don’t physically lead for the sake of it. I have visions of guys who have read this leading girls unnecessarily around the bar, wondering why it’s not working. Well guys, it’s not working because it is weird. If you don’t need to move her anywhere, don’t bother. Just be mindful of the fact that if an opportunity arises, you know what to do.
Kino “My phone game...” (pg 78) Also… If you can, stand around and chat for a bit, do so… You are trying to create a connection. If the interaction does wane a little, you end it. Never let her last, first impression of you go stale. You could employ a little playful kino… a push of the shoulder, flick hair off the face, whatever…. Keep it light and nonintrusive.
Pg 182
Kino “My phone game... “ (pg 80) A few other things I would add are don’t be afraid to talk about sexual topics… (leap of faith Mikey?) Obviously you have just met this girl, so you need to start gentle and calibrate… (“What’s going on in your love life” OR “Are you a sexual person?”) Sex is a great topic… It helps her to start seeing you as the sexual ball of energy. The more sexually charged chat will really help when it comes to Kino… You mentioned on the phone that you were looking to hold the hands with the girl ASAP. The hand to me is the most intimate part of the body to hold. I might hold hands in the club, but on a Day 2 off the street, that may be a little too far… (unless you feel 100% comfortable with it in which case it is fine). I always link her arm inside mine when I am walking with a girl … That way their bodies are totally pressed against yours… this seems like a more chilled out way to be constantly touching a girl.
Kino “A hugely important piece of the puzzle...” (pg 98) Fundamentals are: 1) Forget about Pick-up... if you start thinking what you should or shouldn't be saying, you can't "relax and chat" and therefore you won't project the right vibe. 2) Kino escalate - go from light touch, to touch and hold, to touch and hold in more intimate places... kino escalate when you feel comfortable ... that way, she will feel comfortable also.
BG – FR,LR.doc Kino Escalation “Furniture Shopping and Oral Sex...” (pg 21) I Kino’d her throughout the day… every time I locked eyes on her, I would smile and kiss her on the forehead, then on the cheek. At first she flinched a little, but I pulled her in and kissed her and then pushed her away. By the third time I had done this, she was accepting the kisses. I would keep pulling her in close and then letting her go. She started to reciprocate, grabbing my arms, playing with my lower back… I escalated this to grabbing and slapping her arse–she had a great arse. I started to kiss her in the shop, as I had done to her yesterday. Every time we walked past a bed in Habitat or wherever, I would push her on it and dive on. It got to the point where she was cracking up every time we went near a large piece of furniture.
ATTRACTION FORMULA – PAUL JANKA IV. Sexual Logistics: Making It Happen pg 55
Touchy, Feely Most men somehow get a woman alone in a comfortable setting, but then they freeze up: “You mean I have to invade her space and put my mouth on her?” Yes, that’s right. If you want to fuck women, you need to develop that precious commodity called physical comfort. Women have tremendous powers of intuition and they’ll know if you are shy, hesitant, nervous, etc. For a woman, the best aphrodisiac is a man who is comfortable with his physical self, and can playful handle a woman. This means touching, nuzzling, cuddling, laughing together (clothed or not), hugging, smooching, whispering sweet-nothings, etc. Most women have an innate sense of physical comfort – they are, for the most part, sensual creatures. A man needs to know this and he needs to become part of their physical reality immediately. If you don’t do this right-off, you will build a virtual wall of “personal space” around each other that may be hard to breach. I know some of you may think, “Well, when we haven’t touched, then the tension builds. So, when we do, it’s electric!” That sometimes holds true, but more often, the man gets too nervous and abandons his prey or lunges and bites her lip off, freaking her out. I’d say that it’s much more comfortable and easy to establish physical rapport straight Pg 183
off. In the seduction community it’s called “kino.” Never shake a woman’s hand, unless you know you’re not interested in her, sexually. Instead, give a nice, full hug and a kiss on the cheek when you meet for the first time. If they insist on a hand-shake, I will give them a pound (fist). The hand-shake is so professional and registers you as an “associate” or “colleague” which is shit energy for sex. If she gives you one of those “have-a-nice-life” hugs – you know the kind, one elbow forward, ass out, tap on the back – call her out on it and bring her in for a full embrace. You have to break her self-image of austerity and female independence right away or you both won’t have any fun. The more women you have in your life, the more comfortable you’ll become with physical closeness on a casual basis. In its extreme, you can be fully naked within ten minutes (or less) of meeting a girl and be perfectly comfortable. It’s quite liberating. After breaking through her bullshit with a nice hug in which you demonstrate you feel nice and that you’re not a physical threat, keep the physical closeness going, but in a casual way. This isn’t sexual, at all. It’s more like tussling with a cute golden retriever. Some rubs, here and there, a tap on the bootie, a little brush of the lips on the neck. Pull her in to whisper something – it doesn’t matter what – just to show her you can be close in a non-sexual way. As you sustain this playful contact as you walk through the park, museum, wherever, she will feel comfortable with you as a fellow animal of the same species. This is why dinner and coffee dates inevitably suck. You can demonstrate nothing but your manners and appetite. After sitting across from a woman for an hour of eating, you’ve demonstrated nothing worthwhile to her. Think about it. Most dates should involve locomotion of some sort. Walking is ideal, and warm weather makes it a nice date. Walking is good for the above reason, but also because you have a constant stream of new experiences on which to comment, “Do you ride the bus to work?”, “Have you eaten there?”, “I used to shop in that boutique, but with the dollar so weak…” So, if you want to hang out with a woman, grab a cup of coffee and take her for a walk. Don’t sit with her unless it’s somewhere private/semi-private and on a couch where you can cuddle and be close. Any other situation increases alienation. You think you’re putting in “face time” but unless you’re really charming, you could be doing the opposite, increasing the sense that you two are, in fact, merely strangers. The real benefit of all this, despite the fun of rough-housing with a hottie, is that when you’re back at your apartment, you don’t have to “make a move.” You made it already, when you hugged her upon meeting. Now, with the lights dim, the music on, and her by your side, it just happens naturally. She may even drive it. You’ve become part of her physical reality; when she gets turned on she feels entitled to you. Isn’t that nice?
GUN WITCH METHOD - FAST SEDUCTION PLAYERS GUIDE 3.13 Kinesthetics (aka kino) Psychological studies show that casual touching during a friendly conversation causes people to remember the conversation more fondly after the fact. The combination of kino with social proof is dynamite. Touch one girl and the other girls seeing this think its normal or even good to be touchy-feely with you. Now you can quite naturally move on to touching those other girls and so forth. ASF: It's quite simple - hug them, touch their hand sporadically and in A NON THREATENING WAY, that is, not like the desperate pervert we all are So the idea is, you hide completely the interest you might have AND at the same time you act really touchy or huggish. The problem is - you have to start this early in the friend relationship, it has to seem natural, or otherwise she'll wonder what the fuck is he doing lately? Once Pg 184
you've developed that kind of flirtatious friendship, it's easy to spawn other such 'friendships' with other women: they will see you being close to another woman, and I think the key here is that, it probably does not trigger as much jealousy as it makes them (the new ones) feel comfortable - they see another woman being touched by you in a non-threatening way, and, blam, social-proof, it becomes a 'proof' to them that it's normal for you to touch them in turn ASF: Ok, I use this all the time now. TOUCH HER! It doesn't matter if you just met her. Hold her hand, rub her arm, her elbow her back, her shoulders, her hair, her face. TOUCH HER ! ASF: 1. PAY ATTENTION TO HOW SHE RESPONDS TO YOU! 2. PAY ATTENTION TO HOW SHE RESPONDS TO YOU! 3. One more time: PAY ATTENTION TO HOW SHE RESPONDS TO YOU ! If you do this you will be able to better gauge if you have the appropriate rapport to invite a kiss. If her body seems to respond to the non-sexual touching then get gradually more sexual. For women some areas of the body outside of the primary erogenous zones are intimate: Palms, inside the elbow, ear lobes, cheeks, the hips were the waist meets the hips, between the fingers. 4. Last thing: PAY ATTENTION TO HOW SHE RESPONDS TO YOU! Do the things that lovers do - brush off something that's stuck in her hair, gently stroke her cheek pretending to wipe off an eyelash etc. These are the types of things lovers do and by doing them, you will make her feel (doesn't even matter if only subconsciously) like you were her lover. Plus you'll get innocent yet pleasurable kino Kino as soon as you meet a girl. Meeting someone for the first time is an excellent chance for starting kino shaking hands when exchanging names is a tradition of many cultures and cultures. But make sure you hold on to her hand longer than expected, long enough for you to enjoy it and her to notice, if not you enjoying it but at least you not letting go as quickly as people usually do. When meeting girls you already know, shaking hands might seem strange, so giving some sort of a hug is the way to go. You don't need to fall all over her to give her a hug (which depending on the situation might even make you look like a fool or a pervert or make her embarrassed instead of having her enjoy it too, a hug can also be putting your arm around her waist or shoulders when standing to her left or right and pulling her closer for a moment, or taking her hand for a moment (but not shaking it), or her elbow, or arm etc. ASF: KINO on the arm or hand as soon as you say hi to show her you are a sexual being. Set the mood of the date from the start. When going on a date or get-together, establish the mood immediately. You can of course change the mood from polite and calm to warm and friendly to aroused and sweaty during the course of the meeting, but why go the hard way, if you can jump right into warm and friendly or beyond in the first place. It is best to have acting enthusiastic upon meeting the girl to have agreed upon previously (most probably when you set up a meeting on the phone, see Refining the close in Closing for more information). But even without that, you can be all smiles when you meet her, give her a big hug right away, try to take and hold her hand all the way to wherever it is that you'll be going and watch her change from slightly nervous to happy, smiling, starry-eyed and glowing all over And remember - enthusiasm is contagious Foot-flirting. You've all seen it done in the movies The foot looses the shoe and the woman is stroking the man with her bare foot or vice versa Answer: Corny you say? A cliché maybe? Try it and then see what you think am, ASF: (in response to you can't kino sitting across the table) Actually, you can kino when you are sitting Pg 185
across from the target. Just use your feet! Of course this requires a small table, but this also helps to set up an intimate atmosphere (remember candles etc.). Touch her feet occasionally with your own under the table, say something like tee hee, you are foot-flirtin' with me? in a joking way. Look her deeply in the eyes while doing this, and continue using your feet. Do it the right way and at the right time with a chick in the right mood, and voila! You can actually proceed to rubbing each other's crotches with your toes under the table, then say my bed is that way and BANG! You're IN! ASF: Try this: If she says something, lean forward as if you aren't hearing her very well, and touch her (arm or back). Then lean back again and answer. Are there any easy clues as to when is the right time to go kino? The clue is when it's possible (i.e., she's within in range). Kino is the difference between getting and not getting the girl. It is the saving grace of even the otherwise doomed nice guy approach. And in some instances, being the nice guy together with using kino can even be quite effective. Here's why: the success of kino depends on whether the girl perceives you and your touch as a threat to her or not. You can be a rough and tough guy (I try to avoid the word jerk as it is not really quite representative of what the opposite of nice guy actually is) and still have the girl feel you are not a threat to her specifically, thus initiating kino will be easy. A nice guy usually just has an easier time having girls feel he is not a threat to them. Usually though, that is also his undoing, as he is consequently perceived as weak, neutral and non-sexual, all of which are major turn-offs for girls. But here is where the saving grace of kino steps in. You are safe, so touching and hugging with you is well, also safe. However, before she knows it - touching and hugging with you moves from feeling pretty good to quite exciting to really electrifying until all that good, safe and friendly physical contact with you is going to make her wonder: If it feels so good just to touch with him, why on earth not do more? I wonder what that would be like?. Which is not to say that being the nice guy is the way to go. This was simply meant to illustrate the strength of kinaesthetics -it even works for the nice guy So remember - kino really is the difference between getting and not getting the girl. The protective gesture : In a crowded bar, if people are walking by and pushing you, there’s a way a guy can put his arm around you—not actually touching you, but behind your back so he’s sort of keeping you from getting shoved. A man doesn’t need to pick a fight with some guy who accidentally steps on my toes, but it’s nice if he’s protective. —Kris, 27, Los Angeles
IJJJJI.BLOGSPOT.COM Seducing girls - a complete guide Ideas on touching and making love:
grab hands and smile, if she tries to impress kino on emotional high points run hands down arms into palms and squeeze rub/leave hand on lower back stretch legs on lap lay head on lap sit on lap lift her arm and put it around your neck, and scooch way down in the seat so she can comfortably leave it there push hair out of face and move slowly down to fondle earlobes Pg 186
smell slow along neck grab hair, pull head back, gently bite neck kiss forehead, nose, cheek then lips triangulate, drop verbal flow, move in for kiss ULTRA SLOW. pin down, shove arms up against wall or hold head against wall and start making out never skip dryhump
THE JOSEPH W. SOUTH SHOW http://www.realmodernman.com My notes/transcript from these podcasts.
The Art of Touching and Escalating (Kino Part II) Ep.29 (PODCAST) (19m00s – 32m30s) Physical escalation from Player Supreme himself. This is extremely powerful if you can master this, you can eliminate from your life the phrase “I got lucky.” The process of learning to become natural (with physical escalation) involves four stages. From a David D seminar, Unconscious Incompetent i.e. you suck and you don’t even know it. This is where most guys are, even if they’re vaguely aware they suck with woman they think it’s a shameful thing, despite the fact they’re like most other guys out there. Conscious Incompetent. The first stage to recovery. You suck and you know it. Conscious Competence. Where you’re good and you know it. Unconscious Competence. You don’t think about the process anymore or techniques, you just do it. I.e. naturals. Player Supreme says to be a natural you have to man up. A man must be the Fucker not the Watcher (as in pornography) and not the timid nice guy who is afraid to tell her exactly what she needs to do. When the time comes a man must step up and there is no way around it. When it comes to escalation, I asked Player Supreme from the point of view of a (beginner) guy who is going to meet a girl for the first or second time, who has to move from being a fun charming guy to the guy who fucks her. Should a guy escalate immediately upon meeting her or should he playing the Get to know you game for a bit? What works for me, if when I’ve heard a girl’s life story and hear something I really like so that I want her in my life I will reward her with a touch. In other words I’m letting her explain to me why I should even be spending time with her and if I like what I hear then she gets the benefits of my touches and eventually my dick. Escalation for me is moving from initial eye-contact to touching to kissing to fucking the living daylight out of her. I asked Player Supreme how do newbie’s know when to start touching, how to get her into isolation and get her clothes off? He answered as follows. You need to be outwardly focused, that means being able to read the woman. I start with a soft touch on her body somewhere while I’m talking to her, making it very casual whilst I’m joking around. This is assuming I’m not in a nightclub, but on an internet date. If I was in a nightclub I’d do my club dancing Pg 187
routine to test her for submissiveness (basically take her by the hand to the dance floor and dance with her). Now you need to outwardly focus on her and notice her reaction to being touched. If it’s negative, keep on talking to her to warm her up a little more. If it’s a positive reaction then escalate further, while laughing & joking put your hand on her trapezoid muscle and pull her closer as if you were sharing a big secret. Then whisper in her ear while talking to her. This has the added advantage of pushing her sexual buttons. Like two lovers talking and moving closer till they’re practically talking in each other’s ears. Advance your kino as time goes on, to pulling her closer to you while you talk, pushing and playfully moving her body i.e. turn her around, moving her around, pull her into you, push her away gently, walk away to get a drink, things like that. These come from the technique called Push-Pull, which works very well verbally and physically. Kind of the same as sex, about pushing and pulling, in and out. As men we tend to think in a linear fashion where we’re just going straight towards our goal, whereas woman prefer “dancing”, a back and forth rhythmic flow to it. So you don’t touch all the time, sometimes you pull back, take a break. Player Supreme goes on to say this whole game is an outwardly focused game like Naturals do, they are not stuck in their heads as much and can pay attention to the female as they’re talking to them. They watch for signs and learn to read woman’s energy and body language. This is where the PUA community falls flat on its face because they’re all stuck in their heads trying to remember steps. A seduction has its own flow and each one is a bit different depending on the girl and her conversation. Remember you’re getting her life story and looking for those hot buttons at the same time you’re joking and teasing her moving into seductive voice tones. Hot buttons are things a woman reveals in a conversation. Then the real flirting starts. You slow your vocal delivery down to the seductive timbre, talk slower, lowering your eyes a little when you look into hers. If she’s interested she will mirror your actions. You have to walk this path alone and build your own experiences. You’ll never be a great lover without (your own) experience. I can tell when a woman’s ready. I can tell by her following my lead. When I talk about myself she is listening in rapture. She is leaning in to me a little bit and I am leaning in to her. I will kiss her in the middle of saying something. I like to do it spontaneously versus planned. When I feel the mood I will go with it. I rely a lot on subconscious things I am picking up, which is basically her energy. A female who isn’t into you will not return the same feelings as one who is. Again this is where the PUA community falls down, because most of them have no connection to their inner feelings except for frustration. There are no nerdy steps to follow on this path. It has a flow to it. It is tapping into to that flow and paying attention to what is going on, that must be developed. Being outwardly focused, you must devote 100% of your attention to her, be reading her and trying to establish rapport, a connection with her. If she’s out with you, chances are she’ll fuck unless she’s just using you for a free drink/meal or kill some boredom time. Keep your eyes on her, watch her body language. Pay attention to her hot buttons and delve into those whilst you’re talking. As it goes along try to touch. If it’s positive, try to touch a little longer and more playfully. Getting Lucky happens like the above, but AFC’s are not aware of it. For some reason an unconfident inexperienced AFC will feel very comfortable with some woman going through this process and others not. At the beginning you are going to be tested, you’ll feel a little bit of resistance, however resistance is part of a female’s game and interaction with you, part of the mating game. Is one of her subtle tests she’ll throw at you. If you view the Push-Pull aspect of the interaction as fun and playful she’ll likely adopt that frame too. You can Pg 188
have a lot of fun with it. If you view it as negative, her sub-conscious will interpret it such that you’re not the man for her, She should not be mating with you. Most woman are quite frankly not aware that this happens. If you ask most woman to describe the sexual experience, they’ll say it just happened, he was just so charming or whatever. They really don’t necessarily break it down like we do. They do love romance novels, which break things down in excruciating detail, as the novels recreate the emotions which they fantasise about. In romance novels, the physical attributes of the man are there, but they can describe them for pages. It is that backward rationalisation, the woman feeling that emotion of horniness and then saying, well it’s his shoulders that’s causing it or his tone of voice. Remember sexual attraction for woman is an emotional response. It is not a logical decision.
Use Kino as a Screening Tool Ep.28 (PODCAST) (15m00s - 26m40s) Here are a couple of tips on how to judge if a woman is up for something quicker or whether she’s not in that mindset, where they’re trying to behave, have a boyfriend or not that attracted to you. Kino is the art of touching a woman. You want to be like that guy in the song by Heart from the late 70’s, the magic man with the magic hands. Is something you get better at with experience. Comes down to making a connection with the woman, on a physical, mental & emotional plane. As a man you have to take the lead, so you’re touching her in a way you know will arouse her but at the same time you’re very much in control. Use kino as a screening tool. If a woman is worth having sex with once she is usually worth having sex with on a recurring basis. In this context woman can be pretty cool friends, in my experience. Once you get past the AFC frame of scarcity like when a woman pays attention to you and you think I’m about to get lucky. For most guys that’s what it is, but once you understand things you realise it’s not that way at all. There are an abundance of lonely, horny beautiful woman out there, if you know how to treat them right and give them pleasure they’ll be thrilled to meet you. So once you get past that frame of scarcity, you realise the key is to get involved with woman who are right for you, since you have a lot of woman to choose from and you want to pick the best. Now the AFC wants to be careful with this information, so that he doesn’t use it as an excuse for not approaching beautiful woman or touching them and escalating. An internal belief of she will not go for me, is not being selective. Being around woman who love to touch will reduce your neediness. We all have a biological need to be touched, we don’t want to be with woman who don’t like to touch, because you’re naturally going to become more needy. There is a way to avoid getting into relationships with woman who are frigid or who think it’s cool to use sex as a bargaining chip, to make you do what they want i.e. have a terminal case of the Magic Pussy Syndrome. The way to screen these type of woman out is to touch them right from the start. By properly calibrated kino i.e. at the right time and appropriately you will do one of two key things. Firstly you’re going to make her horny and comfortable with being physical with her. You will demonstrate self-confidence and all that good stuff. When you touch a woman and she accepts it, you’re conditioning her to accept it, she’s feeling like it’s normal. When you do it right off the bat, when you meet someone touch them on the arm. Shake a woman’s hand if you’re not comfortable giving her a kiss and put your other hand up on her arm just for a second, look her right in the eyes and let go. Vinnie Di Carlo has fantastic material on touching a woman, the Kino Escalation Ladder book. Check out PickupPodcast.com for a fascinating interview with him. Pg 189
So touch right from the beginning but be careful, eye contact must come first. I don’t believe in approaching woman who have not made eye contact with you first. Player Supreme also agrees with this, it’s a waste of your time and you’re going to experience more rejection if you just go up and randomly approach woman. So eye-contact first and touch from the beginning. If everybody’s been having a great time and then you suddenly touch her it’s a little awkward, as she’ll think why is he touching me only now, what’s changed? Secondly, besides making her comfortable with the idea of you touching her and making her horny, you’re going to screen her right out of your life. She may not like it and you will sense immediately that she is a woman who doesn’t like touching or she may just not like you either, which is fine too. If you’re a recovering AFC you have to be honest with yourself, you’ve got to calibrate this, you’re going to feel a little awkward and you might be doing it inappropriately or at the wrong time. So pay attention to the feedback you get, don’t make it awkward. For example when you touch a woman’s arm don’t look down at your hand, keep the conversation going. You want to be touching her while you’re talking to her, while looking into her eyes, whilst you’re listening to her. Want it to be natural and flow. It will take experience and time. So start off small. When you give a handshake hold it a little bit longer. Make an effort to kiss woman that you know in your social circle and kiss them on both sides of the face like in Europe. In Europe where touching, hugging and kissing is so common, rates of depression are far less than in other countries. Being touched is a human biological need. Start off slow, get used to hugging. A little trick when you hug a woman, usually done when the majority of the woman’s body is on your right hand side i.e. your right arm is holding the bulk of the woman and your left hand is coming round. So she’s on that side of you and you say, “No wait” and then grab her by the shoulders and move her to the other side which is opposite to what 99% of the people are used to. Whether she asks or not why you’re doing it, you explain by pointing to your heart and then her heart and say, “heart to heart.” It’s a much warmer and friendlier way to hug when your hearts are touching. So practise with little things like that. Another nice little thing to do is, when she is responding well, she’s laughing, touch her on the hand, touch her on the arm. You have to calibrate this, will take a while to get smooth with this. But once you have the confidence that you know exactly how to use kino and you’re totally comfortable in your own skin then the only woman who are going to object to kino are the ones you don’t want to start a relationship with in the first place. They’re either frigid or simply don’t like you and that’s their right. So get it over with early. Not getting enough kino from your girlfriends can be a direct cause of you acting needy, which in turn will make them want to touch you even less which will totally stuff up your mojo if you let that fester. So save yourself the hassle and only get into relationships with woman who love kino and k now how to give it and receive it. To escalate you start off with eye-contact, a hello and then a handshake. But there’s a lot more between that and when you’re in the bedroom fucking like rabbits. For those men with experience it’s obvious and a natural process to man up and do the job. In the next podcast I’ll break it down from the initial eye-contact to where she’s in the bedroom yelling your name and fuck my little pussy.
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NATURAL GAME 3RD ED. – GAMBLER www.PuaTraining.com
Elicit Hook – Connect - Deeper Question Kino-Escalation pg 97 This was my sticking point for a while. I missed the whole thing where people started hugging when they met. I didn’t get the whole double-cheek kiss thing. I wasn’t comfortable touching people. But the fact is, most people like to be touched. Hugs feel good. Someone touching your arm when they offer their emotional support feels better. a lot of guys have problems with touching because they are scared of being perceived as creepy. yes, women hate being grabbed by the drunk guys at the bar, but if they are talking to someone that they like they want to be touched by them! Kino-escalation is the process of going all the way from incidental touches to sex. obviously the first time you touch a girl generally can’t be when you kiss her; that’d be weird. You need to get her comfortable with your touching, and there are lots of ways to do this. some key points on kino: Intent: women can sense the intent behind kino. an arm on the shoulder from someone thinking, “okay, now I’m going to escalate by putting my arm on her shoulder,” will make her feel weird. She’ll subconsciously know the difference between creepy touching and nice touching because she has been touched by a lot of men! The average woman has been touched by eighteen thousand, four hundred and seventy-two men in her life. * When she is attracted to you, you can get away with anything you like, but until that point the intent should be pure. you touch her, make it part of your natural movements, touch her in the same way you would touch a friend and keep the intent behind it positive and natural. don’t think sleazy thoughts! when you have attraction, you can have a sexual intent behind your kino that will be completely cool. Speed: The faster the kino the more you can get away, because it becomes harder to object to. The brain doesn’t have time to register the hand on the shoulder if it’s just there for a second. If you gesture a lot, build in some rapid kino and it will allow you escalate more quickly and smoothly than usual. Eye contact: do not look at the part of her that you’re touching, it draws attention and feels ‘icky’ to women. when you go to escalate kino in a major way, maybe by putting your arm around her, eye contact will make it an intensely high-pressure moment. If you’re looking away when you make this move, it’s much more comfortable and acceptable. use the looking-away trick when taking her hand, or anything else that seems too intimate at the time. Excuses to touch During an approach I did the other day, I used some methods I made up on the spot to advance kino leading up to a kiss close. I normally date girls a few years younger than me, and was genuinely surprised to find a girl my age (twenty-six) who looked really young. I said, “you must use good moisturiser,” and stroked her face with the back of my index finger. If she flinched in the slightest, the kiss close wouldn’t have been on. I also touched her hair and asked if she ever wore it up. The kiss was on at this point, and we both knew it. I did a couple things to dial up the tension even more, then finally kissed her. I’m still wondering about whether there is any benefit to delaying the kiss to build more tension, as opposed to going for it as soon as it’s on. Having excuses to touch solves the problem of kino-escalation for anyone not used to touching strangers in conversation. Below are some ways to kino-escalate: Don’t shake her hand when introduced, hold it for about three seconds. It’s long enough to notice, but not long enough to object to. Use high-fives when you find something cool about her. Pg 191
If she goes to the gym, exercises, looks tough or whatever, it’s an excuse to feel her muscles. flex your arm and point at her to do the same. Check out her jewellery. Hold her hand to see her rings or bracelets. Move her hair back to check out her earrings. you can use many excuses to check out her hair. “Ever wear it up?” “Is that your natural colour?” “had it long/short?” Take her pulse. Ask if she salsas, or does any other dance, and dance with her. don’t ask if she wants to, just lead. If she gives you any shit, you can take her hand, put it on your chest and say, “Oh, you’re breaking my heart!” Palmistry. Arm-in-arm leading. Teasing – poking, prodding, tickling, play-fighting, barging, nudging – all great playful ways to kinoescalate. Sexual Escalation Techniques There are more of these in the ‘sexual spikes’ subsection. These are purely physical (the others are verbal, or a combination of both): Finger playing: when you’re holding hands, play with her fingers and see if she reciprocates: this is surprisingly sexy and a great test. Hand Squeeze: squeeze her hand and see if she squeezes back. This is a great indicator that the kiss close is definitely on. Triangular gazing: this is a method of making her think in a sexual way. look at her left eye, then the right, then the lips. one second on each. repeat. Slow blink: blink slowly; this is very sexy. Playful Escalation and Sexual Escalation You can escalate kino in two ways, sexually and playfully. The best way to escalate with a friend or a girl from your social circle is to playfully test out her receptiveness, instead of making a high-pressure move to sexually escalate. sexual escalation has a sexual intent behind it. Playful escalation seems more safe to them because it’s what brothers and sisters do. But it’s also what boyfriends and girlfriends in a comfortable relationship do, so it’s a great way to escalate and trigger enjoyable feelings of sexual tension. Kino-Escalation Process All of these steps can sometimes be skipped and you can go straight for a kiss. It might work sometimes. But to smoothly lead into it, you’re ramping up the kino bit by bit. The process below is a smooth path from nothing to kissing. you can also combine it with some verbal sexual escalation (see ‘sexual spikes’): Touch shoulder Take hand (use excuse) Dance Hold hand Squeeze hand Touch hair (use excuse) Touch face Kiss I tend not to use any of these excuses to touch anymore, but they are a good way to get started. as soon as you are comfortable, you should switch to sexual state projection and sexual tension as a way to lead into a kiss. kino-escalation combined with that will be incredibly effective.
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THE ZEN OF MEETING WOMEN – MAX WEISS Turn it up to eleven! The Magic Touch - "Kino" pg74 Touch is very magic indeed. It is a very strong nonverbal cue. It does a lot of things at once. It shows interest, it shows connection, and it shows confidence, if you do it right. It also ups the ante. You will want to be very careful with this one. You need to touch in the right place at the right time. In the pickup artist community, touch is referred to as kino. Here's an outline of an interaction, with kino sprinkled in here and there.
• • • • • • • • • • •
Kino Outline: You approach, initiate conversation. Kino: If it feels right, you shake her hand She tells you something interesting and positive about herself Kino: you touch somewhere between elbow and shoulder on her arm At the same time as the kino, you say you admire some trait she has demonstrated You tell a story about something related to the feeling, emotion, or theme you admired in her She says something related to what you said and reveals more about herself Kino: you touch the same spot as before, or if it feels right, perhaps take her hand and squeeze it Your turn to talk, building on what she said. Her turn to talk, she reveals more Kino: arm or hand. At the same you make your Statement of Intent, then immediately keep the conversation flowing with more talk.
And so on. To summarize, the kino is like a little show of appreciation for something she has done or said. It's the gift of touch. If she reveals a positive trait, or makes a joke, or compliments you, or does anything else you like, you show your appreciation with the magic touch. This, combined with the Statement of Intent, helps make your intentions clear, but in a non-threatening way. As long as you are confident in the way you touch her, she will not think it's creepy. She'll just assume you're one of those touchy feely kind of guys. If you are natural and calm about it, she will be ok with it. In fact more than ok. People like to be touched, as long as the circumstances are right. Don't believe me? Put your left hand on your right arm, between elbow and shoulder. Don't squeeze, just put it there. Feels warm, right? Feels nice. Now imagine if a cute woman that you were really connecting with put her hand there while talking to you. Would you shriek and run away? Or would it make your heart go thump thump? Touch is magic. Touch is powerful. Touch is what will keep the connection and the attraction amplified.
NEWYORKTIMES.COM Evidence That Little Touches Do Mean So Much By Benedict Carey February 23, 2010 Psychologists have long studied the grunts and winks of nonverbal communication, the vocal tones and facial expressions that carry emotion. A warm tone of voice, a hostile stare — both have the same meaning in Terre Haute or Timbuktu, and are among dozens of signals that form a universal human vocabulary.
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But in recent years some researchers have begun to focus on a different, often more subtle kind of wordless communication: physical contact. Momentary touches, they say — whether an exuberant high five, a warm hand on the shoulder, or a creepy touch to the arm — can communicate an even wider range of emotion than gestures or expressions, and sometimes do so more quickly and accurately than words. “It is the first language we learn,” said Dacher Keltner, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, and the author of “Born to Be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life” (Norton, 2009), and remains, he said, “our richest means of emotional expression” throughout life. The evidence that such messages can lead to clear, almost immediate changes in how people think and behave is accumulating fast. Students who received a supportive touch on the back or arm from a teacher were nearly twice as likely to volunteer in class as those who did not, studies have found. A sympathetic touch from a doctor leaves people with the impression that the visit lasted twice as long, compared with estimates from people who were untouched. Research by Tiffany Field of the Touch Research Institute in Miami has found that a massage from a loved one can not only ease pain but also soothe depression and strengthen a relationship. In a series of experiments led by Matthew Hertenstein, a psychologist at DePauw University in Indiana, volunteers tried to communicate a list of emotions by touching a blindfolded stranger. The participants were able to communicate eight distinct emotions, from gratitude to disgust to love, some with about 70 percent accuracy. “We used to think that touch only served to intensify communicated emotions,” Dr. Hertenstein said. Now it turns out to be “a much more differentiated signalling system than we had imagined.” To see whether a rich vocabulary of supportive touch is in fact related to performance, scientists at Berkeley recently analyzed interactions in one of the most physically expressive arenas on earth: professional basketball. Michael W. Kraus led a research team that coded every bump, hug and high five in a single game played by each team in the National Basketball Association early last season. In a paper due out this year in the journal Emotion, Mr. Kraus and his co-authors, Cassy Huang and Dr. Keltner, report that with a few exceptions, good teams tended to be touchier than bad ones. The most touch-bonded teams were the Boston Celtics and the Los Angeles Lakers, currently two of the league’s top teams; at the bottom were the mediocre Sacramento Kings and Charlotte Bobcats. The same was true, more or less, for players. The touchiest player was Kevin Garnett, the Celtics’ star big man, followed by star forwards Chris Bosh of the Toronto Raptors and Carlos Boozer of the Utah Jazz. “Within 600 milliseconds of shooting a free throw, Garnett has reached out and touched four guys,” Dr. Keltner said. To correct for the possibility that the better teams touch more often simply because they are winning, the researchers rated performance based not on points or victories but on a sophisticated measure of how efficiently players and teams managed the ball — their ratio of assists to giveaways, for example. And even after the high expectations surrounding the more talented teams were taken into account, the correlation persisted. Players who made contact with teammates most consistently and longest tended to rate highest on measures of performance, and the teams with those players seemed to get the most out of their talent. The study fell short of showing that touch caused the better performance, Dr. Kraus acknowledged. “We still have to test this in a controlled lab environment,” he said. If a high five or an equivalent can in fact enhance performance, on the field or in the office, that may be because it reduces stress. A warm touch seems to set off the release of oxytocin, a hormone that helps create a sensation of trust, and to reduce levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Pg 194
In the brain, prefrontal areas, which help regulate emotion, can relax, freeing them for another of their primary purposes: problem solving. In effect, the body interprets a supportive touch as “I’ll share the load.” “We think that humans build relationships precisely for this reason, to distribute problem solving across brains,” said James A. Coan, a a psychologist at the University of Virginia. “We are wired to literally share the processing load, and this is the signal we’re getting when we receive support through touch.” The same is certainly true of partnerships, and especially the romantic kind, psychologists say. In a recent experiment, researchers led by Christopher Oveis of Harvard conducted five-minute interviews with 69 couples, prompting each pair to discuss difficult periods in their relationship. The investigators scored the frequency and length of touching that each couple, seated side by side, engaged in. In an interview, Dr. Oveis said that the results were preliminary. “But it looks so far like the couples who touch more are reporting more satisfaction in the relationship,” he said. Again, it’s not clear which came first, the touching or the satisfaction. But in romantic relationships, one has been known to lead to the other. Or at least, so the anecdotal evidence suggests.
THE APPROACH WORKSHOP NOTES Kino
There are 4 types of kino
Playful o Initiators (tap, behind knee push when she’s standing up) o Handshakes o Dancing, moving her o Thumb wars and other games o Spanking Protective o Holding hands o Escorting o Arm around shoulder o Protecting from traffic Incidental (is used to maximize sexual tension. It is the only type of kino you need to escalate to sexual kino) o Cheek to cheek o Arm to arm o Leg to leg o Resting her head Sexual o Rubbing o Stroking o Sexual zones o Escalation
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The Morris Escalation Ladder It describes the general kino order to use so that a person does not feel weirded out by your touching. The order does not have to be followed to the letter, but doing the 1 or 2 steps before the one you want to do will prevent the woman’s red flags to pop up. 1. Eye to body 2. Eye to eye 3. Voice to voice step 4. Hand to hand 5. Hand to arm 6.Hand to shoulder Most guys are too slow, or are afraid of initiating kino from 1 -6 out of respect for a woman’s personal space. However you want to consistently start kino-ing when you meet a woman so that she gets used to your touch. 7. Hand to back 8. Mouth to mouth 9. Hand to body (groping, rubbing… etc) 10. Mouth to breast / body 11. Mouth to genitals / genital to genital Most men rush or go too fast in this area (7 – 11) . Learn to slow down and show your comfort with sexual kino.
SEXUAL RAPPORT MODELING NONVERBAL SEXUAL CUING – KEANU J. JAGGER The Power of Touch pg50 The next nonverbal sexual cue that bypasses a woman’s critical, judging mind and directly stimulates feelings in her of lust, desire, and attraction is touch. Unlike say, language, touch is a direct form of contact that causes immediate sexual arousal. In fact, in most cases, true sexual arousal begins with the first touch. Touching a woman, even in a casual manner as in a Pg 196
handshake or a brief touch on the arm, sends a clear message to the lust centre in her brain and increases her sexual responsiveness to you in a way beyond her conscious control. While your words are subject to being rejected by a woman’s critical mind, physical contact if done properly isn’t. A woman’s body is covered with tens of thousands of sensory receptors that are triggered off like a thousand hot torches all going off at once at even the slightest touch. Her skin’s sensory receptors are hardwired directly to her brain’s pleasure centre. So responding to your touch is not a choice of hers. You can easily talk to a woman for an hour and not have as intense of an effect you would if you put your hand on her shoulder or touched the back of her neck for instance. Casual touching also makes her feel that you have a sexual confidence, that you’re a good lover. It demonstrates to her, on an unconscious level, that you’re not afraid to touch women because women like to be touched by you. Now, as I’ve said, even just a single touch can move a woman in a powerful way. I knew this one very attractive young lady who dated a rather, I have to say, unattractive man. Downright ugly really. When I asked her what it was about him that won her over she said they had met in a resort in a hot tub and happened to get into a conversation. And when he touched her on the shoulder it just sent an electric rush through her skin. That the way he touched her just casually and playfully showed to her he had a lot of confidence and she almost felt a need to be touched again and again.
Why Touch Works Now you might imagine that’s unusual but the power of touch is much more powerful on women than it is on men. Even for women who normally don’t fantasize much about sex, a few well-placed touches can make her heat up. That’s because a very specific chemical process takes place in a woman’s body when you touch her, even in just casually friendly way. What happens is that when you touch her, her body releases a powerful sex hormone called Oxytocin. Oxytocin causes her to feel a bonding with you and to feel good around you. But Oxytocin also causes her testosterone levels, the hormone responsible for her sex drive, to increase as well. Even a small touch on the arm in many cases is enough to release Oxytocin hormones and testosterone into her body and make her become sexually receptive. Now remember my lady friend from the hot tub said she almost had a need to be touched again and again after the first touch. Well there’s a very good reason for this. The heightened Oxytocin level gives a woman the desire to be touched even more, producing yet even more oxytocin - a reinforcing cycle of sex hormone escalation. Now this is not so much the case for men. Women respond MUCH more powerfully to touch than men do. That’s because Oxytocin requires estrogen to work. Without estrogen, it has no effect. And unlike men, women have lots and lots of estrogen. Ever notice how, when a woman you never noticed before, touched you on the hand or shoulder, you started suddenly to think about her differently – perhaps in a sexual way. Well, in women the effect is ten times stronger! So don't underestimate how one or two well-placed touches can make her start thinking about you as something more than just a friend or a stranger and get her thinking about you sexually.
How To Touch A Woman Now you can’t just go up and physically maul or throw yourself on a woman. You can’t invade her physical territory or body zone too abruptly. I’m not advocating going up to a total stranger and putting your hands on her. And you should never ask a woman, "Can I touch you?" It's just creepy. So don't ask . If you ever feel you need to ask then it’s the wrong time or your state is just wrong and it will come off wrong. Pg 197
And yet you want to come across as the kind of guy who is comfortable touching women from the moment you meet them. If you act as if touching a woman is a normal, natural thing that you do all the time then women will accept your touch more readily. So this is what you do. Be a man of action. Once you have some rapport with her, after you’ve started talking to her, touch her on the arm in the middle of a sentence. Or touch her on the knee when she laughs at your joke. Or touch her on the small of her back when you catch her attention, or when you point something out to her. And in general, it’s appropriate to touch to emphasize a point or touch to express agreement. The best time to touch her is when you’re both laughing in a state of rapport. As she laughs, touch her on the shoulder or leg or back. When she’s laughing she’s in a particular trance state that turns off her critical mind and blunts resistance. By the time she comes out of trance, it’s too late. You’ve already set off the touch sexual cue and sent lust messages to her limbic brain.
Playful Touching This was the case with my Spanish teacher and I. This young lady was teaching me Spanish once a week in her home. Whenever she would open the door to let me in, I’d skip any kind of handshake altogether and actually playfully give her a hug. She would write the lessons on this marker board on her wall. The thing was that her English wasn’t perfect, so whenever she would make a mistake, I’d stand up and correct it and that would always get us laughing. But often when she laughed, I would touch her wrist or arm slightly with my hand. And pretty soon, after a few lessons, she began to touch me when we would laugh together. So being playful and laughing is probably the BEST kind of situation to initiate some light touching as it’s then seen in a playfully sexual way and not seen as aggressive or intrusive.
That First Touch I’d recommend that for the first, initial touches stick with the hands, knee, arm, shoulder, upper back, and small of the back. Those are all places that are least likely to meet resistance from her. Brief touches at first are best too. In fact, researchers have discovered that at the beginning people respond better to brief touches rather than lingering ones. Also, keep in mind, unless you’ve received signs of interest from her on some level, a touch can, with some people, have the opposite reaction you want. So notice closely her reaction. If she doesn't want you touching her, she'll pull away almost instantly . On the other hand, if you touch her and she lets you, relax. She likes it. As long as she doesn’t say “No!” or pull away it’s probably okay. Then there are other people who just love to be touched… it’s almost as if they’re in a constant state of touch hunger and you can get away with almost anything. So read your subject’s responses carefully. And one other tip. Don’t look at the spot you’re touching. For example, if you brush her arm, don’t look there as you do it. It’s always better to look into her eyes and smile when casually touching a woman. Otherwise you bring unnecessary attention to the spot you’re touching that may even engage her critical mind, triggering a critical, thinking response from her. So let the touch speak for itself. It will work all on its own.
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The Double-Clasp Handshake Now another good way to initiate touch is through a handshake. My favourite is what’s called the double clasp handhold. Use the excuse of exchanging names to grab her hand, shake with your right hand and cup with your left hand so that it’s like your hands sandwich around hers. And then say to her, “My name’s Joe,” as you look into her eyes, with a big smile. Hold her hand in yours for 5 seconds longer than you would normally. Then, later, when you have to go, take her hand again and with the same strong eye contact and a warm, resonant voice tonality clasp her hand with both of yours for 5 seconds longer than normal. Do this every time you meet a woman. With some experience you’ll soon find that the women who respond really well to the double-clasp handhold, sometimes you don’t actually have to let go. You can just hold them there and eventually change it to a more relaxed position. If your eye contact, voice tonality, and smile are strong and she’s smiling and giving you heavy eye contact back, not only do you not have to let go if she likes it and responds, but you can lightly start rubbing her hand or stroking her fingers.
Points to Remember So the rule to remember for the nonverbal sexual cue of touch is touch early on, casually in conversation or with a handshake.
SEDUCEHER KISSING SECRETS – MICHAEL FERRIS www.SeduceHerSecrets.com Pdf
CH.4 No More Rejection … Ever!!! Pg 21
How to Get Her Comfortable Getting Close to You
A secret seducer’s tip to prevent triggering her alarms when getting close to her is to get her to come closer to you. That way, she feels as if she’s the one moving towards you, instead of being threatened by someone violating her space. She is the one going towards you so none of her defences will be triggered. With the bench example above, sit across the bench away from her. Glance at her, take your hand and signal her to come over. You can tap on the space right next to you and tell her, “Come over here.” You can also tease her by saying, “Why are you sitting so far away?” Then guide her in with your arms. Be careful not to pull her in but just gently lead her. Remember, true seducers don’t force or beg, but set up opportunities and encourage her to step in. Another seducer’s secret; pull her in from the side and whisper something in her ear. Guide her towards you by her shoulders but don’t lean in too much. Make sure she’s the one leaning in or at the very least, meet her half way. Leaning in too much will make it seem like you’re trying too hard. When you guide her shoulders with your hands, be sure to use your palm instead of your creepy feeling fingers and nails. Whisper something like, “I have to tell you a secret.” It will intrigue her and ground the reason why you have to move her in. After you whisper something, release or even gently push her away to avoid triggering any creepy alarms. This Seducer Secret works because none of her safety alarms will be triggered since her subconscious mind is telling her she is moving into you. Even though you are guiding her towards you, it’s much less of a threat than you moving head on towards her.
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Getting close to her, and also progressively touching her, are crucial to creating comfort with you. If you don’t meet these prerequisites, it is going to be very difficult and time-consuming to eventually kiss her.
Prerequisite #3: Is She Comfortable With Your Touch? Have you ever seen those guys who come up to a woman and slap their butts? Do you remember the type of reaction they got from the women? Well, you don’t want to be those guys. Coming up to a woman to slap her butt isn’t very seductive. Furthermore, it will repulse her and ruin your chances of ever kissing her. That’s why seducers create comfort with their touch and slowly escalate to those sexually sensitive areas as she gets more comfortable. If you have not even shaken hands, it is going to trigger her alarms if your lips touch hers. She needs to be comfortable with your touch. Not only do you need to touch her from time to time, it’s just as important that she gets comfortable with touching you as well.
How to Get Her Comfortable with Your Touch A Secret Seducer Trick that will get her comfortable with your touch is out-in and top-down. It is a simple concept developed by The Asian Playboy to escalate touching and getting her comfortable with your touch. The out-in concept should be applied by touching the girl on the outermost reaches first. That means touching her hands or knees first before you touch her more sensitive spots like her chest and butt. Touch her upper back before you touch her lower back. Following these touching guidelines will make her comfortable with your touch sooner without triggering any of her defences. Most people try to avoid accidents. In the case of getting a woman comfortable with your touch, accidents can be a good thing. Accidentally brushing your hand next to hers while handing her a drink, or reaching over her at the bar to grab a napkin can help build her comfort level. It’s accidental and innocent but can be effective at building touch comfort. Getting a woman comfortable with you and your touch is extremely important to make any moves with her. But it can come off as creepy if you don’t do it right. Just as a rule of thumb, no sudden grabbing and escalate properly.
ANTHONY BERGER – SEDUCTION ILLUSTRATED Chapter 5 : Seduction pg 96
Seduction
For years I could never tolerate why bar and club owners would want to create a social environment by playing music louder than the human voice. I always had to shout my mack lines at the women I wanted to hit on, making the process virtually impossible: you end up screaming at someone you are trying to seduce. After ten years of getting below average results through traditional macking, I realized that I could use the fact that it is loud in there to my advantage: it’s so loud I have every right to talk to them (in normal tone) in their ear. What I went to further develop was the boob touch and leg touch. This is another technique to push the right buttons and make them extremely horny for you. It is extremely important to understand that these techniques are the most crucial part of your mack. These are the ones that get them aroused and in sexual (or at least kissing) mode. Luckily, there aren’t too many ways to Pg 200
go about screwing them up: you would have to spit in their ear or spill your drink on their shirt for it not to work. For an ideal situation, two conditions have to be met: 1. You both should be standing 2. You both should be in a relatively loud environment. If she is sitting across the table from you, then you have no chance of using these techniques. If the environment isn’t loud, you can still whisper but it will seem like you are trying to whisper when you could be talking normally. Fortunately, most social environments have some type of music playing in the background, whether it is a club, bar, lounge, gallery opening, cocktail party, house party or ball.
Whisper If body language communicates 90% of what is said during courting, then talking to them in their ear (or whispering) should be responsible for about 50% of that. The ear is a very erogenous zone. WOMEN LOVE IT WHEN THEY ARE WHISPERED TO. Everyone does. If a below average chick says “stinky shit diarrhoea” in your ear, you will be way more turned on than if she said it to you face to face. The same goes for women. So if the bar is loud (and you should look for above average loudness bars) you have every right to use this technique: she won’t ask you “why are you whispering in my ear” because she knows it’s loud. When you start talking to her, immediately reach for getting your lips around nine inches or so from her ear. Then if she is responding by letting you talk to her in that manner, try to get closer and closer as the dialog develops. If she isn’t backing away every time you are responding to something you are saying, and if she keeps asking you questions or is trying to make conversation, you know you are good and can go on with this method. Within five minutes you should be talking to her in her ear, as your lips should be almost touching her ear. Keep your voice at a normal level, neither too quiet nor too loud. You goal is to keep it just loud enough for her to hear but not loud enough to allow her to move her head away. You want her to stay in that position, so that you can further stimulate her. While you are carrying out the whisper technique, you should be also working on the second seduction method called “boob touch”.
Boob touch The boob touch technique works like this: You are both standing in a club or bar, you have already approached her, sparked a conversation, and while talking (whispering) to her, you hold your drink with both hands in front of your chest and stand very close to her. This is a standard “I’m just socializing” position. By having your gin and tonic (or what have you) right in front of your chest, you try to ever so slightly touch her boobs (not the nipples just yet) while you are whispering to her. Don’t bring attention to it. It is happening merely as an unintentional accident. You are trying to make sure she hears what you are saying by talking to her in her ear, but because you have to reach over to her ear, your knuckles are accidentally brushing against her boobs and nipples. Proceed to repeat this throughout your conversation, quickly brushing against her nipples. Pg 201
Again, if she keeps making conversation it means she is enjoying it (green light). Sometimes you will notice that they just start asking the most bland and pathetic questions, meaning, “ don’t stop cause I love it”.
Keep this up for as long as you feel like. However, anything over half an hour will have worn thin and she might not be as excited as she was at the beginning. If she hung around this long, you can use the “Go somewhere” technique. The boob touch can also work if she is sitting by the bar. Let’s say she is on a stool and you want to hit on her. Approach her from the side, as in, don’t stand in front of her knees (since you won’t be able to reach over to her breasts. Stand next to her (next to her legs) in a way that you can have easy access to her tits while talking to her. Just remember, do the boob touch ever so lightly.
Leg Touch If you are both sitting, the situation gets slightly harder. You two can’t be reaching over to accidentally be brushing against her breast. So in this case, you can use other parts of your body to make contact with hers… …after all, it’s about the physical contact. If you are both on bar stools and you are facing each other, you can make both of your legs softly interlock with hers during an attempt to reach over and better hear what she is saying.
If she is sitting across from you, you can perform a footsie. Don’t ever do it with your shoes on. That’s why next time you go shopping for social shoes, make sure they slip on and off easily. Make eye contact with her the moment you touch her. She will look around the table in surprise and you should show some confidence and make sure that she knows who is doing it. Give her a little wink. Unless she makes some obvious move telling you to stop, carry on. Then look away as if you are actually paying attention to whoever is talking down the table. By looking away, you tell her that you want to remain as discreet as possible, which makes it even more exciting, like forbidden lust. Pg 202
If you are both sitting at a table, perpendicular to each other, your knees can touch. If you are both in a booth, next to each other, your elbows, legs and knees can come in contact. If you are sitting on a barstool, and she comes around but doesn’t have a seat, offer yours. If she says no (they usually do) then stand up any way, claiming you sat too much at the office. Then, if you are both standing up, you can carry out the boob touch.
The problem with your hand Even though your hand may be great at a lo t of things, anything you do with it to a woman can be read as harassment. If you grab some chick on her ass, boob or leg, she can easily claim you sexually harassed her. This is a big problem since there can be situations where you end up grabbing them in those areas without even knowing it (too drunk). What to do? The crucial thing to remember when doing the boobtouch, leg-touch or any other kind of touch is that they should be invisible. She should not be aware that you making those moves on purpose. So how to do it? VERY softly. Not too frequent, but just enough to stimulate her. If you over do it, her guard might go up and she will be vaccinated against you and your seduction. Use other parts of your body to stimulate her. Your wrist, the back of your hand and knuckles, your elbow and even your shoulder can be used to caress them and stimulate some physical reaction. Your knuckles can be used during the “Boob-Touch”, so can your elbow and wrist, depending on the positions. Your shoulders can be used if you are sitting down and she is standing next to you, in a situation where your shoulder is at her nipple height.
SEXUAL MAGNETISM - ETIENNE CHARLAND www.shamanicseduction.com
Chapter 3: Sexual Magnetism Applied Progression and Kino Tricks Approaching and talking with people is one thing, but for sex to happen, there must be some kind of progression. So how do you progress from casual conversation to intimacy? You don’t. It’s not your job to make things happen. What created the initial attraction is your detachment from the outcome, so it would make sense to keep doing what works. You create more attraction by being more detached from the outcome.
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The ironic thing is that this authentic approach of not needing anything from people can be used as a technique. If you master releasing emotions instantaneously, you can detach yourself from outcomes while interacting with women. It will change your energies: they will genuinely feel more comfortable around you and it will create a genuine connection. The space you give to women is more important than what you’re actually doing, so stop wondering what to say. Your energies create a void that women feel compelled to fill. When I say a comment or send a message to a girl without expecting an answer, it creates a void that she feels compelled to fill. As for what to do and what you say, I really cannot tell you. There are many gurus out there who can teach you how to be like them. However, it just won’t work for you because you aren’t them. You have your own strengths, your own weaknesses, your own likes, your own dislikes, and your own life purpose. You cannot both be yourself and be someone else. You can learn principles and get ideas from others, but don’t listen to what they tell you to do even if it works for them. The first step for change is to accept who you are and your current reality and results. Once you feel good about whatever you have right now, you can work from there to develop your own uniqueness. We are all wired the same way but our egos are all different, or at least we like to think so. When we develop our awareness, we are all the same in some way but we are unique in the experiences we go through and in the path we walk. To make your interactions go further, you will want to detach yourself from outcomes and to let your true self shine, not only around women but at all times. No matter your looks, women will say there’s just something about you. If you let your true self shine only around women, you are reactive to them, which portrays you as a man who is trying to get something. You can be sure they will notice how you behave around other people. If women keep testing you, you may be wondering how to handle their tests. These tests and power games are annoying, and I don’t have time to play games. It would be nice if they could simply accept you as you are. You should know that these tests are subconscious. All they want to know is who you are and whether you are solid as a man. If you act like a man, then all interactions look like tests, and if you fail one it’s over. It’s like running through a minefield. If you really are solid as a man, however, you pass all tests by default. When they sense your solid energies, they stop testing you because they already sense who you are. Tests are another obsolete concept. The objective here isn’t to get laid but to build connections with other human beings. Sex without connection isn’t that good anyway. Sex is the by-product of connecting naturally with a woman. When you connect, you don’t have to take actions leading to sex: sex is inevitable. By developing your sexual magnetism, you don’t have to worry about falling in the friend zone anymore as your grounded energies awaken their sexual nature. It often makes it harder to keep women as only friends because either you connect or you don’t. Out of all the women I’ve been with, I have very rarely slept with a girl without it happening on the first or second meeting because either we connect or we don’t. If I really like a girl, I would rather sleep with her and then spend time with her without expectations instead of doing activities with her with the hopes of getting physical. If the physical urge isn’t released, you can’t honestly fully appreciate hanging out with her just for the sake of it, unless you aren’t really interested in her, in which case she’ll have to work if she wants to get physical. If you don’t get physical with a woman by the second or third meeting, don’t waste your time: put her in the friend zone yourself. To accelerate building connections and a history, you may want to spend time with the girl in different places. If you meet a girl in a bar, you may move to a few other bars together. If you meet a woman in a park, you may go for a walk. If you meet a woman in a club, you may go sit down in the quiet side and then go eat. If you meet a woman in the street, you may go for a coffee together. If her friends like you too, they may help you hook up with her. Pg 204
There is also a difference between superficial physical attraction and her trusting you to be a real man on a deep level. The latter matters much more. I’ve often had girls in the club kissing me like crazy, and the next minute they were gone. That’s a superficial connection that means nothing. In other cases, I’m walking home with a girl and we haven’t even kissed yet. That’s a meaningful connection. You should know that some girls will really like you but won’t want to get physical in front of their friends. If she trusts you to be a real man, she may buy you a drink or scratch the inside of your hands to let you know she wants you. Your only job is to enjoy your time and to not force anything. Use the affirmation “It’s inevitable we’ll end up together.” Sometimes she may even tell you she’ll go with you after the bar closes and she goes dancing with her other guy friends, and she actually leaves with you. If you spend time with a girl but you’re not sure she would sleep with you, don’t waste your time and move on to meet new people. On the other hand, if you feel a solid connection in your heart and solar plexus and she really likes you, it’s worth spending the evening with her. Sometimes girls can get very physical on the dancing floor as well. If you get too physical, kiss too much, or do too much dirty dancing, most likely she will not go home with you because the sexual tension is released. The less you do in the bar, the better. She sees you can control yourself: when you leave her space to like you, it lets the sexual tension build up. If she wants more, it will be at your home or hers, not at the bar. Actually, you don’t even have to make yourself attractive to build a connection. All you have to do is to remove everything unattractive about yourself. You will connect with people by default, and don’t be surprised if a random girl kisses you right away. You have to understand that the only thing preventing you from having instantaneous strong connections with women is your emotional blockages and her emotional blockages. If your energies are pure and shine through her to deactivate her blockages, you will see instant attraction. To break the physical wall with girls, it helps to have some kind of physical contact, although sometimes you lie back and they touch you first. Don’t try to do anything to bring interactions further as it will only push women away. You can do things because you enjoy it in the present moment but not to build connection. You build connection by giving them space. Actually, you can push and pull, which breaks the walls and gives them space. Personally, I like to do one step forward and three steps backward because I don’t like working to get girls. Do what works best for you. Here are some kino tricks to inspire you Kino refers to physical contacts between you and another person to build rapport. Of course you can’t grab a girl’s pussy or boobs in public, but the back of the neck is also sensitive without being threatening. When you enjoy your time with a girl in a bar, you can gently scratch the back of her neck and play with her hair. If she asks what you are doing, just say you like playing with hair. When a girl dances next to you and shows interest, you can put her hands on your shoulders and dance as if you were dancing alone. It frames the interaction as she’s playing with you and you enjoy it. When dancing with her, you can also sit down quietly next to the dance floor with her dancing in front of you between your legs with your hands around her hips. When dancing with a girl and there’s good rapport, you can’t grab her boobs, but you can move closer and rub her boobs with your chest. It arouses her and nobody around notices. You can take a girl by the hand when moving around the bar such as when you’re going to smoke. When walking with her in the street, you can put your hand on her lower back on her second chakra. Just let your actions flow spontaneously. If you can’t behave spontaneously, you have some more cleaning to do and you can do these kino tricks to extend your comfort zone. In the club, some people don’t get any attention from women. Some other guy doesn’t care about women and a few are dancing around him, but whenever he tries to get one, they go away. Another guy has girls flirting with him but he gets attached to the outcome whenever it gets physical, and they walk away. Still another guy has girls flirting with him and they bring him home, but he gets attached to them after sex and they flake. Another guy has girls bringing him home and he enjoys his time with them while keeping his detachment and he has several relationships. The only difference between these guys is at what step they get responsive or attached to Pg 205
the outcome. If you are totally detached all the way, girls will do all the work and bring you home and you won’t have to do anything. There is this independent career woman I met in a bar, and we went back to her apartment. We were naked in her bed and I couldn’t figure out how to get physical. I tried everything without success. I eventually told myself “whatever, fuck off” and just slept. I didn’t care anymore about having sex or not. I finally had my blow job in the morning. It’s so much easier to understand how women work when you are in their bed naked. They decide who they let in, and working to get sex doesn’t work. You must give them space.
STEVEPUA – TAO OF STEVIE Tonguedown Bar I have a short conversation with them in German. She is amazed at my language ability, and I tell her I am a cunning linguist. The truth is I only speak a few languages badly (with the exception of Swedish, the others I just know a few important and useful phrases that allow me to open foreign tourists.) There are some Swedes in the corner and I tell her how to say “Lick pussy” in Swedish (slicka fitta). She laughs and I anchor it by squeezing on her leg and making a sexual expression on my face and giving lingering eye contact.
Kiss Closing I turn up the kino. Soon she has her leg over mine and I am touching her everywhere. I tell her my vampire story to turn her on. I tell her how I used to dream about being hunted down by 3 beautiful vampire girls in their early 20s, who chase after me and I try to escape but they catch me and I tell them no, no, please don’t BITE ME THERE (using obvious embedded tonality) and point to me bared neck. I am implying to her that I really always wanted them to catch me and bite me. I tell her then I can be a vampire like them and go hunting with them for beautiful young girls who will be with me forever, who bite each other and make love night after night after night. At this point I am whispering into her ear, nibbling her ear, then going for her neck. I tell her I have never bitten a real girl and I am sure she can’t IMAGINE the sensual pleasure of those lips on her white neck. I bite her gently and then move in for the kiss … I tell her I have never nibbled a girl’s ears like this (and do it as I say it) and I have never kissed a girl who …. and I gently kiss her lips before finishing my sentence, and when she is only half-expecting it. I don’t go for the heavy tongue-down immediately, but instead want to make her want me so badly that she will do almost anything to have me. I set up an anchor with the words “Not yet…” by saying I have never done such and such (e.g kissing her neck) to a girl …at least NOT YET!” then I’d do the action. This set up in her a feeling of excitement as I described the next thing I had never done. I did this maybe 5 times on different parts of her body, then talked about other things I had not done, such as making love in the moonlight …. At least not yet. This got her picturing doing that image with me, and the suggestion had authority because all the other things I had said I had not yet done (e.g kissing her neck) had come true already.
TYLER DURDEN – ESSENTIALS Cavemanning, Kino, Body Language Pg222 If any of you guys remember back to this time last year when I posted "Operation Mayhem" stuff, you'll recall that I was huge on cavemanning.
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Actually I spent about a month or two straight learning how to walk up on girls I hadn't even spoken to, and start making out with them and cavemanning them. It was funny, and worked well on college. If you subcommunicate the right things (bodylanguage, tonality, and the reactions of people around you), you can get away with this stuff no problem. It's funny shit. Nowadays I have actually dropped caveman from my repertoire and find that it’s kind of amateur. I think that it’s a cycle. There's many cycles in PUA development, and here are a few: 1- AFC: spineless emotional tampon, uses friendship as emotional blackmail in hopes to get some ass 2- RAFC: not afraid anymore to convey desires as a man, doesn't supplicate anymore 3- PUA: conveys active disinterest, tries to push girls away or even into the friendship zone Funny, how (1)and (3) are so SIMILAR, and yet in (1) the girl RUNS from you and in (3) the girl the girl frantically CHASES you like a desperate chick-AFC. Likewise with routines, as CRAIGSD220 said when I was in San Diego: 1- AFC: asks "what's your name" and tries to qualify himself in all his boring logical conversations 2- EARLYRAFC: uses routines as something better to talk about 3- LATERAFC: gets good at having great natural conversations, and the routines are now detectably canned 4- PUA: gets so good, that the routines are like NUCLEAR AMMO in the already super tight conversation Anyway, the same went with cavemanning. It was direct, and was an improvement, but now I find that I'm working to SURPASS the best natural/confident PUAs in the venue, and hit my own level. The cool guys in the club aren't afraid to go for it, but the coolEST guys in the club have SO MUCH on their hands that they are DISINTERESTED in anything short of the BEST. And even the snobbiest HB10 is always afraid that she's not the best, which is why active disinterest and negs work. For guys who believe that HB10s can pickup on this game and aren't impressed by it, they haven't seen a top PUA in action. Active disinterest works for a variety of reasons, among which are that it’s a NATURAL mechanism that girls have to sexually validate themselves at ALL TIMES. For guys who have been indirect for a while, and had the girls begging to be with them, and went for rapport only to find the girls RAN, this is the validation mechanism at work. In many cases, the SECOND the girl is sexually re-validated, you are BLOWN OUT. Girls need to be sexual validation at all times, because on an emotional level they know that if they lost that, they would not survive. (haa, not actually true, but its how they FEEL) This is the SCREENING vs. CHASING mentality at work also. It changes the mental processes, same as in SALES. Anyway, having laid that down, I want to write up a bit on cavemanning and powerful body language.
CAVEMANNING & KINO: Something that I realized is really key in my game is that I give girls the opportunity to INITIATE kino, rather than being the one to initiate it myself. Pg 207
**KINO IS AN IOI There are several reasons that people in the community adopted KINO as a tactic. Among them were studies which stated: a sample group watching several photographs were asked to determine who was the alpha in each picture, and they always picked the guy who was taking up the space of the other guy (like he was touching his shoulder or something). So KINO conveys alphaness. in a library, a clerk touched the hands of people one day as she would hand back their library cards, and on the day she'd touch people, a higher percentage of people would report back a pleasant interaction. So KINO generates good feelings. Now to me there is a problem with this, as it correlates to MY PERSONAL game. I can't speak for other guys' game, but this is how it correlates to my style. GIVING A GIRL KINO IS AN IOI. When a girl touches you, you know that she somewhat wants you. So when you touch a girl, you are coming off like you want her. The jig is up - she knows you want her. Again, this is a CERTAIN TYPE of kino, not all types. Playful kino or pushing her away is not what I'm talking about here. Also there are guys I've met who are just SO CONGRUENT with kino, that it does NOT come off as wanting something, and it works for them well. So again this is why I say repeatedly that this is for MY PERSONAL style, and that this is the result that *I* get, while others may get a different result. Now for guys who are coming from a position of being AFCs, again, learning to apply KINO is CYCLICAL. I remember when I first read the manuals on this board, and they said things like "initiate kino.." or "you ARE in kino, aren't you dumbass?" and cool shit like that. This helped me a LOT at first, because back then I was so pathetically beta that the IDEA of touching a woman that I wasn't dating already was TERRIFYING. I remember when I first started touching girls when I'd talk to them, I'd get a rush of excitement from it because I couldn't believe I was getting away with it. Like I'd brush a girl's eyelash off her face, and I thought I was James Bond or something. So this is something all new guys have to go through. Getting physically and sexually comfortable with themselves and other people. But at this point, I'm realizing more and more that when you look around in a club, EVERY DUDE IN THERE IS GIVING KINO. By giving a girl KINO, you're throwing yourself into the subcategory of guys who lean in and touch without the girl earning it. The venue is filled up with drunken guys all over, and it can come across not as confident, but as BOLD (aka: drunk or just venue-related confidence) That said, KINO is a *HUGE* part of my game. Particularly, caveman as a DECLOGGER a reward for impressing me kino PINGING (discussed in a recent post I wrote) Pg 208
a playful C&F routine, like pushing her away or spins or high-5s or thumb wrestling something I can use on the FAT OBSTACLES to keep them happy and ignore the target escalation in LATE GAME and phase shifting 1) CAVEMAN AS A DECLOGGER In game, any error that you follow up with EMOTIONAL RELEVANCE is immediately forgiven. For example, if you approach, that can be an IOI to the chick. But if you open well, you're in ANYWAY. Likewise, if she gets angry at you, but you answer with something C&F, its forgiven. CAVEMAN is the SAME. For example, I may hold back KINO from a girl for a LONG TIME. This causes her endorphins and chemicals to BUILD AND BUILD. REMEMBER that when you neg or tease a girl, and she kinos you, *SHE IS TRYING TO FUCKING TOOL YOUR DUMB AFC ASS* Not only is she re-validated instantly if you kino back.. There's more to it. If you kino her back, the emotional chemicals that you shot through her get DISPLACED and then feel normal again. This is like when have sex or snuggle with a chick. You keep CHANGING POSITIONS and it feels more intense and better. SAME as why we get bored of sex with the same chicks over and over. We can't get the emotions and chemicals from it anymore, because we are DE-SENSITIZED. If you have sex with your girl 3 times a day for a week, you won't enjoy it as much as if you don't see her for a week and then fuck her. It's all chemical shit. So for girls, you see them touching each other a lot. They intuitively understand emotional reactions and they are displacing each other’s emotions. It's all pretty ridiculous from our perspective, but to them it all makes perfect sense. Remember that KINO has this context, and that there is a lot being subcommunicated with the act of touching. DE-CLOGGING WITH CAVEMAN. Say that a girl is in state, but you just CAN'T seem to escalate. She just isn't biting on the active disinterest stuff. But at the same time, you KNOW that she's in state. What to do? Solution - CAVEMAN HER ASS! :) The reason is that if she has enough emotional chemicals built up in her, when you caveman her it will be the BEST feeling of her entire life. She won't stop it, and then she'll BACKWARDS RATIONALIZE that she wanted it. I've had girls I slept with tell me that when I forced them to kiss me, it was the most sexual thing that they've ever had done to them. haa, from an average looking 5'9 fucking EX-DWEEB.. NICE. But why? Because I played on her states effectively. So this is all buying temperature and escalation related. Cavemanning is something I use to DECLOG a pipeline that isn't flowing properly. I ATTEMPT all other measures FIRST, but if it isn't working for me then I just go caveman, and progress the pickup from there. Pg 209
You see this in John Wayne movies, where the girl is freaking out, and he pins her to the wall and starts kissing her. She struggles and struggles, and then let's go and just falls in love with him again and everything is FINE. haaa, those motherfuckers KNEW how to interact with women on an emotional level back then, before the women's movement came in and fucked us all up. This isn't sexist either. Women LOVE guys who do this. It doesn't mean disrespect women. It means that sometimes they want you to help them emotionally, and not annoy them with over-explanation that has no relevance to them. If the chick HONESTLY still pushes for logic, then fine. But until she's made it CLEAR, I assume its emotional help that she wants, from a guy who she's sexually involved with (aka: I'm not her BUDDY) 2) KINO AS A REWARD: Now given that kino is also something that shoots her with a displacement of chemicals, I also will give her little shots as rewards, to get her into Pavlovian conditioning mode. This is PUNISHMENT/REWARD type stuff. If she does something that is obviously in attempt to impress me, I go "OMG" and grab her hands. Watch as she looks like you just fed her a doggy-treat. Yeah, I'm a bastard for this, but the chicks really like it. Likewise, I use freeze-outs. It's all emotional related. I'm just pumping them through states. That's ALL I care about. So if a girl tries to impress you, consider shooting her a little doggy treat (kino) as a reward. Don't let it linger though. Then continue the pickup. 3) KINO PINGING: Kino pinging is also something that escalates. It's like little "synching" shots that you give each other. You use it on EMOTIONAL HIGH POINTS, and you'll notice that girls look like they're massively infatuated with you when you do this. 4) PLAYFUL KINO: I use PLAYFUL KINO to reap the SAME REWARDS as standard kino, but without giving away that I'm interested. Playful kino conveys that you're sexually comfortable and confident to impose on other peoples' personal space, but WITHOUT giving the girl an undeniably concrete IOI. So IMO, it sort of has the best of both worlds, and it’s also fun for girls and great in group sets. 5) FAT OBSTACLES: Sometimes I hug and kiss the peer group, to keep them entertained and in love with me. This is less common, but I've done it and its worked. 'nuff said. 6) LATE GAME ESCALATION: Girls take on average 4-7 hours to get to a lay-ready buying temperature. At THIS POINT I'm definitely using KINO to the max. Why? Because they're READY FOR IT.
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Thoughts on KINO: For girls, getting KINO'd by guys can feel really CREEPY. Think to when a huge motherfucker touched you or grabbed you in the past, and he was so physically imposing that it kind of vexed you out. This is how it feels for girls with guys they don't trust yet. A huge physically imposing force, making them feel vulnerable. Now at the same time, SOME GIRLS LOVE THIS. They GET OFF on this feeling. So use common sense and don't take everything in this post dogmatically, because I haven't had time to cover every angle.
GETTING HER TO INITIATE KINO: Girls LOVE seducing guys, and if you guys haven't realized it yet, MOST sex that occurs is initiated by GIRLS. Think back to all your AFC relationships. Usually the girl got interested in you, and then eventually after fumbling for long enough you went out and things went from there. Likewise in a club, the goodlooking guys roll in the club, girls giggle and get hyper around them, and it goes from there. SEDUCTION IS MORE COMMONLY DONE BY WOMEN. This is because they are more COMFORTABLE with that. So the key is to leave yourself out as BAIT, and get them to SEDUCE YOU. That doesn't mean don't lead. What it means is to ALTERNATE between getting her to game you as much as possible, and then leading her at times where it’s needed. For me, I don't try to KINO girls into horniness early in the game. I try to VERBALLY GAME them into EMOTIONAL AROUSAL, so that they'll try to kino ME, in order to re-displace all the emotions I gave them. I tease them and give them a LITTLE BIT of kino to keep them coming back for more, but mostly I just game them verbally. Then, when it comes time to extract, I throw out my arm for THEM to take it. KEY: Rather than grabbing a girls' arm, just throw out yours for HER to take it. If she's at buying temperature, she'll grab it like it’s a kid grabbing a candy-bar. Notice that you can use stuff like high-5s as KINO-PING-TESTS. If a girl is at high buying temperature, and you "high-5" her, she'll practically EXPLODE trying to high-5 you. It will be like the most ridiculously enthusiastic high-5 of her life. The same goes for just placing your hands out PALMS UP, and then waiting for her to put her hands on yours. So for the punishment/reward stuff, rather than grabbing HER, I just throw out my hands palms up, and she grabs THEM. Then I squeeze, and she squeezes back all GIDDY AS HELL. Then I let go, or decide to hold on, depending on her state.
Kino Tests Pg237 An interesting phenomenon is that when you touch girls who like you, they always go out of their way to touch back.. It seems to be some sort of subconscious mating mechanism.. Pg 211
When I go around the club high-fiving chicks, the ones who want me will ALWAYS try to clasp my hand and keep me there.. I have literally gone up to a chick, high-fived her, and when she clasped my hand I started tonguing her down (before I've even said one word to her).. This has happened a few times now. If I caveman a chick, she'll tickle me back and shit like that. I pulled a go-go dancer from Guvernment one night with Twentysix, Papa, and No9, just by tickling this chick (It was too loud to talk, so I said "fuck this!" and just started going caveman on every chick that passed me, until I pulled). She tickled back, and knowing that the kino test had been POSITIVE, I just literally DRAGGED her out of the club, barely haven spoken a word to her. Literally, I tickled and DRAGGED her from the club. Her friends weren't there - obviously (massive warehouse club). She loved it. Point is though, how did I know I could get away with it? Or the insta-tongue-downs? Just by KINO TESTS. When I do kino opener, sometimes I'll roll up on girls and ask a quick question, then say "you're my new best friend" and wrap my arms around her.. if she's digging me she'll almost always wrap her arm back around me, even if she's in shock for a second and has to do it after when it’s not really timed properly.. Chicks will also do weird things, like if you hold her hands, and turn around and drop your hands, she'll keep her hands RIGHT THERE in the hopes that you'll re-initiate the kino. Have you ever been in tightly packed car beside a chick, and she gets out for a sec, but you stay PERFECTLY STILL in hopes that she'll come back to that position? Or maybe you had your leg against hers in a lecture class, and she got up to go to the washroom for a minute. You kept your leg right there in the hopes that it would go back in place.. (never does either dammit!) This is the kind of stuff I'm talking about. Another good test is to clasp hands mercy fight style, and then lower them waist level and see if she keeps it going. Or butting heads softly/gently, and see if she leans in or not. ***A really interesting thing that I've also noticed is girls UNWILLINGNESS to displace themselves physically in ANY WAY WHATSOEVER until they are into you (usually attraction, but sometimes also with deep rapport). So basically, you may notice stuff like if you try to do the spin-manoeuvre on a chick who thinks badly of you, she'll refuse to spin. If you say to a chick "your arms are crossed.. you look uptight", and she isn't attracted yet, she'll REFUSE to uncross them.. Literally, she'll keep saying "I'm cold" and she won't uncross them for ANYTHING. Same thing when you suggest moving venues. If they don't like you, it will NOT happen. Chicks just won't displace themselves for guys they don't like. If you try to make a physical move too early in the sarge, you have fucked up the sequence, and the sarge often ends. HOWEVER, sometimes girls will mumble shit like "not yet", or they might decline a #close or something, but STILL keep flirting and talking to you. That seems to be a subconscious way of saying "I'm not wet enough yet, but if you keep sarging me I may be there soon".
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TRUST TEST: Good addition to the "Best friends Test" Say "You're taking the trust test". Then say "Give me your hands", and put your palms up for her to take them. 1- Squeeze her hands. If she squeezes back, she passes. 2- Lower your hands, and if she follows with her hands, she passes. Then TELL her if she passed or failed, and then she'll say "No No No, I DO trust you!" and then she'll always be RESPONSIVE to kino-tests from then on (notice that these are FUNDAMENTAL IOI kino-tests, but I'm just working them into a routine.. btw, for guys who aren't using those kino IOI tests, where the fuck have you been?? They're one of the most important parts of game) I also follow that up with the "Tension Test" , which is just me doing the massage manoeuvre (another of my most useful kino tricks, that I posted about a lot last month, where I run my fingers up her back and massage her down). Then I tell her things about her based on how she reacted to the move, but it’s not structured, and I just bullshit it. Interesting escalation though: best friends test trust test tension test
MANIAC HIGH' S PICK UP GIRLS GUIDE AND SEDUCTION WEBSITE! www.pickupguide.com Pdf
How to do a dance floor pickup without talking pg 274 From
[email protected] One thing I noticed is that when you get to connected to someone, if you act very slow and move very slow, it seems to deepen their trance, like if they don't know what's going on. Have you noticed that as well ? maniac_high wrote in message Kino Report! All the details of doing an awesome kino PU! Hi All! How to do a dance floor kino pickup has been talked about here recently, and it turns out, that I saw an excellent example of this tonight in a club, while I was out with one of my regular chicks. I watched the PU from start to end, and learned A LOT about dance floor kino pickups from what this guy did. I will talk about what I saw below and analyze. Okay, first of all, the PU was done with virtually no talking at all, so I will try to be as descriptive as I can, even though this was all body motions for the PU. The setting was a disco in Tokyo, playing regular fast paced disco dance music. I was on the floor with one of my regular chicks, and the following happened next to me with a blond haired guy, probably in high school, doing an excellent PU on a J-babe wearing a red dress. I rate her a 7.5.. His moves were very well scripted, and well done, here goes.. I will just list it out, then talk more below. This was cool, and I will do this from now on.. Pg 213
Analysis is at the end.. They make eye contact, and start dancing facing each other. He mirrors her dance moves, making eye contact This happens about 2 or 3 minutes He puts his arm on her side, to her back, lightly, and is dancing, still following her pace He puts the other arm on her other side to her back, but he does not pull her in. Now he slowly runs both hands up her body, to her armpits, and then up her arms (he raises her arms up in the air) Then when he reaches the tops of her hands, which are stretched out in the air, he (slowly), runs his hands down her body. His hands slowly slide down till they reach her ass. He doesn't grope it directly, but just they are above the top of her buttcheeks. The whole thing above (hands up to her hands, down to ass, is slow, takes about 1 or 2 minutes to travel the whole distance). Also, now, he has slowed down his dancing, and is not really following the music anymore, and she has slowed down too, (he slowed her down by mirroring her pace, and then slowing down as his hands were running up/down). [for 3 minutes] While his hands are on her ass, he moves his head in, and breathes softly on her neck. He does not try to kiss her. His hands move up/down her back slowly, while his head moves around her neck/side of neck, him breathing slowly, closely. The chicks eyes start to close. She is going into trance. [for 3 minutes] He moves his head and hands down her body, (still facing her), he like crouches down, slowly, as his hands travel down to her legs, then slowly moves up again, to her ass, and he is standing again, and is breathing on her neck/back again. [for 3minutes] He now repeats the hand up/down things above from the top of this list, and the breathing a couple times. Each time he pulls her in closer. She is going way into trance now. [for 4 minutes] The last time he does the up/down hands thing, he raises his hands up to her hands in the air, and lets go, but leaving his hands up. This is her cue to now do the same thing to him, and she does. She runs her hands up/down his body slowly now, like he did to her before a few times. She clearly likes this, a smile is on her face.. He turns her around (so her back faces his chest), and he does the same things again with the hands, this time from behind.. (she gets confused, when he tries to turn her so he just tells her to turn around), loses trance state.. He does NOT go for her tits/cunt, etc..nothing overtly sexual.. She is back in trance again. [for 3 minutes] He turns her around again, so they are facing each other, and he is breathing on her neck/face. Now she is mirroring him and doing the same thing, breathing on his face/neck. Pg 214
This goes on a long time. He makes her wait for the kiss, and she is goes more into trance, she is just hanging on to him now..he does not rush things at all. [for 3 minutes] He starts breathing more on her cheeks, face, but does not kiss there.. He continues until she is doing the same [2 minutes].. She is doing the same now, and their lips are breathing on each other’s face, This continues for what I thought is a really long time before the kiss starts [for 4 minutes] Finally, they slowly move closer lips together from each other’s lips The lips lock, they kiss, and keep kissing.. The kissing goes on for a really long time [for 15 -20 minutes]… Around then I leave with my chick, and don't see the rest of it (I suspect he just took her home ;-) ) Okay, Maniac's analysis. First, this was a REALLY GOOD kino pickup. There was no talking during the whole PU (expect where he makes her turn around), just the way he touched her got her going. That was really cool. Some other things notable to me. Firstly, he did NOT rush things. I realized, watching this, that maybe I rush things too much, and try to tongue the chick too soon, and that scares her away, before her states are setup right. Also, it was obvious to see her states changing when he was doing the Kino. I know to watch for this now. He did not advance until her state was ready. This was obvious from looking at her (her eyes closing, her `hanging' on him, her following his dance pace, and NOT the music when he slowed down.). He made sure this happened before going to the next step. She was also helping him by following his `body rapport'. Some chicks will/won't in my experience. Also, he did nothing overtly groping/sexual, i.e. He didn't kiss her neck/ears before the first kiss (not sure if this is good/bad yet..I think best to wait until she accepts you by the "real" kiss first, then move to those other parts), didn't grab her ass in a groping way until the kiss/touch tits..etc. It was all very smooth and passionate looking until the kiss, without sexual groping/kissing neck/ears.. That is good, because it didn't scare her. He also took his time..the whole kino session was like 30 minutes from start to end. He was going REAL SLOW, even his dance pace didn't follow the music..very SLOW MOTION movements, as the chick dephased from the music rhythm, to his. He was very conscious too what he was doing, eyes open, looking like an engineer as he worked the chick into trance. Very very good. He'd close them though when she could see his face. It was clear he had done this before and was following the "cookbook". He also made her wait for the kiss a bit, longer than I expected or I would have. It was good, he kept on touching her, / breathing really close to her, and that probably made her even more horny, making sure there would be no kiss rejection. I liked this.. All in all, I learned a lot from watching this, and will model my kinos from now on to what this one looked like.. basically, slow down my pace, and realize I don’t have to follow the music pace if it’s not appropriate to my kino pace to seduce the chick.
Jonnyjewel talks about his dancefloor pickup strategy! Pg 279 Toecutter has a lot of good advice I would just like to add a few tips. The dance floor is my saving grace for sex. Without it I might still be a virgin. First off, Toecutter is right it is a numbers game 100%. Pg 215
I will tell you how I work a floor. First off you are there to dance a have a good time, so look like it. Smile like you just won a million dollars and let yourself go. Ok your relaxed, now it's time to hunt. What you are looking for a group of girls together or one by herself. The one by herself is easy just dance up to her with a open gesture and motion that you would like to dance if she doesn't she in most cases will look away. Ok, these groups of women 4 or more usually have a certain make up. There is the hot one, the ugly one, the not as fashionable one, and the not as hot as the hot one. The "not as hot as the hot one" is your target. This girl is competing with the hot girl and most of the time will love you for your advance. Just step up behind her and smile and rub your pec on her shoulder once gently. DO NOT TOUCH ANY PART OF HER BODY WITH YOURS. Girls love a guys with balls, I mean it. She will look behind at you then look back at her friends for approval. Stay calm. She will now do one of three things, back into you, step forward, or nothing. If she steps forward, turn right around it’s over, look somewhere else. If she does nothing try again, be careful she might be a bitch. If she gets mad it is her fault, you just wanted to see if she'd like to dance she could have been courteous and moved away or said no. But this one backed into you. Your chances of a but grind from just about any girl are about 50% Just ease into her and have a good time. After about three songs of hard grinding it is time to get go for broke. Spin her around and grind away, but she might not want to do a front grind. If she doesn't, at the end of the song thank her get, her name, and move on. This can come in handy later like a street or parking lot PU. But you got the front grind. VERY IMPORTANT!!! If you are grinding with a girl it is your main goal to protect her, try as hard as you can to keep other people from bumping into her. Put out an arm or move both of you so you are the one getting bumped. I love the look on girls faces when you do this, they eat it up. After another two songs it is time for the kiss. Start by getting lots of eye contact, if she not looking at you, sorry no kiss for you. But if she is, start touching her face with yours, forehead to forehead nose to nose. Go in a couple of times for a kiss but turn away at the last second. And then go for it! But DON'T shove your tongue down her throat. Take it easy big boy. Do this a few times and then stop, unless she keeps it going. When I get this far I usually stick with the chick until one of us has to go. At that point thank her for the night and say something like, "I would like see you again." Even if you didn't get the kiss, still get the # close. If she gives you a number one thing girls love is if you memorize it, until she is out of sight and then right it down, it makes you look smart. I don't ever try to pull a girls off the dance floor, Why! Why do you need to? You’re grinding, maybe kissing what more do you want! She is attracted to you why mess it up by talking. This brings up another point. Unless she wants to, don't talk. I usually ask her name and where she's from. I leave it at that. Yes, lots of times these girls have asshole boyfriends so they give you a fake numbers, or just they get scared. The only time you will get a girl back to your place for the ONS if she wants to, follow her lead.
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Other points to know for the dance floor PU is that it looks good for you to be seen dancing with a lots of women, you might start by dancing with a friend to get you started. Yes, it is very competitive. So wear your best club clothes. Never ask for a dance, they always say no for some reason. Just so you know the girls that come up to you and dance lots of times are the girls with asshole boyfriends but still # close just in case. I usually make one to two passes on the dance floor per hour. One thing to look for is girls that you have seen dancing with different guys. If I don't get a dance I get off the dance floor. You look like a looser if you are dancing around trying to get girls to dance with you. One mistake I have made is even if she is liking the fact that your hands are all over her body, don't move her hand to your dick. Most importantly, you have never wasted you time grinding with a good looking girl.
DICKNOTIST.BLOGSPOT.COM lr-oompa-pa-fupa (2007-10) I start dancing with HB_Polkadots, slow things down, and begin the kino escalation. At first we're doing some mild grinding and I'm running my fingers up and down her arms and rib cage - and I can feel her body responding. I turn her around so we're face to face and I continue running my fingers lightly across her back: down her spine, along her neckline, beneath her shoulder blades, along her lower back, just under her breasts...anywhere that's really sensitive. Then we lock eyes again and I give her the most intense sexual stare that caused pussy juice to flood her venus mound. She immediately starts kissing me and runs her hands right on my cock, which I've also been pressing against her the whole time. She actually tries for a hand job, but had trouble getting into my jeans.
MISCELLANEOUS NOTES Miscellaneous Notes on Kino 4 types of Kino
incidental protective playful sexual
The Power of Light Kino Ever find yourself out with a bunch of friends or co-workers and there's a couple of girls there. They are really not your friend, they are a friend of friend or friend of a co-worker that goes out with them. You know them but you never really hit on them or even really engage them on any type of level. They are the folks, you exchange hellos to or make small talk with. Not that they are unattractive, mean, or have anything that would make you actively not pursue them. You might have known them for years, but they never feel into your view or you were too busy chase someone else or too busy being that non-gay best friend of their friend. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights, I found myself at nothing but house parties of friends. Each night there was some type of switch thrown that escalated my pseudo friends (girls) to partners in crime (make-out). It usually began with some type of light kino like while talking putting my hand on their shoulder or giving them a playful push when they said something silly. Once this initial kino took place, it was like a door had open. They became more talkative, I become more talkative which led to open flirting, trading glances, playful hugging, teasing, then eventually make-out. What does all this mean? I would suggest that there had always been some attraction and I never did anything about, probably never even saw it. I also think the light kino which was just a part of my interaction with Pg 217
everyone may have flipped the switch. Once thrown, whatever else they did whether or not they were just putting their guard down as if finally we are friends or maybe there is something to this; I kept moving forward. I guess it some breakthrough that I need to incorporate into my everyday routine.
Finger Kino Scratch lightly up & down the inside of her thigh with your fingernails.
Foot Kino When sitting together at a table, surreptitiously kino her with your feet & legs. Bump up against her feet, legs, hips, leave the contact there or give her a slight nudge. The take it away, & move back in later.
Best of Craigslist - When women get together and talk about sex KISSING : Stop with the smacking kisses. It's like listening to cows eat. Stop it. And, speaking of kisses....you don't have to stick your tongue down her throat the entire time. A great kiss can also involve lots of lip movement and no tongue. Try it.
SeductiveCody.blogspot.com Kino Game: Are you nervous It goes like this- you put your hand on the girl's leg (or she does it to you) and say "Are you nervous?" If she says no, you move it a little higher and then repeat "are you nervous." You just go again and again until she says yes or you're playing with her pussy, whichever comes first. I'd say it has to go a little slower if you are the one introducing it, but will still work pretty good. Just say "Hey did you ever play 'are you nervous?'" and explain what it is and jump right in. The nice thing about this game is that it allows you to escalate all the girls in the group at once, and then the entire group will backwards rationalize that you are a cool guy since they all got touchy with you. You'll get extra coolness points with them if you can play the game and never seem in the least bit creepy or perverted. You have to not even seem too affected by the arousal of it, as if this is normal and you're playing with boobs all the time. Then the girls are getting a little aroused and they start to feel naughty because they are and you're not. It's just a game, so it doesn't set off the ASD burglar alarm as badly as straight kino. Just be careful not to seem creepy. When the girl answers "yes" be sure you stop immediately and then just laugh at her, "Ha ha, you got nervous" then move to the next person.
BADBOY EMAIL NEWSLETTERS Resistance before kiss NO means no. Society teaches us that the woman, has the right to say no and that NO means no. Spending years in this area of philosophy, talking with girls about it I realized that it is bullshit. In 80% of case no (or her turning her head away when you go for kiss means “ try again few more times, and you will get it”). Something that I have noticed a lot is that I would go for a kiss, and she would turn head away, I would back off, continue talking and… she would still stay there. If she is staying there and smiling, but at same she’s giving NO… that means you will get it, but not yet. Pg 218
What I usually do in this situation is I will talk for 5 to 10 minutes, and try again. But each time I go for kiss, I would do something different. I have 5 / 10 different kiss closes, and I just rotate them every few minutes. On the New DVD we are making right now, you will be able to see ALL of those moves. Maybe she will resist on 1 but next time I try to do it, I will make sure it’s more smooth, and it's one of the killer kiss closes. When she resist in most cases its one of 3 things :
KINO. (Physical touch) Not enough Kino before a kiss can be problem as well. If you don’t touch her at all, and then you go for kiss, that is a BIG leap. To solve this problem, you should touch her on safe places, like arm, hair, shoulders. Just to get her comfortable with you touching her. This way the kiss will be next logical step of how your relationship should progress.
REAL SEX FOR REAL WOMEN - LAURA BERMAN PH D Written from a woman’s perspective
Sexploration Arousal and orgasm Touch
A few facts about touch Touch is vitally important for your everyday relationship as well as your erotic one because it is the cornerstone of human bonding and affection. It is one of our first sensations in the uterus and crucial for healthy childhood development. Our need for touch is fundamental to our sanity and well-being: take these signs of affection away and we suffer stress. Yet, surprisingly, affectionate touches often all but disappear in long-term relationships. All the long hugs, cuddles, and tender caresses that are constant in the beginning of a relationship are forgotten. This is generally because our need for touch is not recognized or prioritized and gets replaced by child care, work, household chores, and the million other things of everyday life. As we get older, lack of touch can be detrimental to loving relationships as well— without regular caresses and embraces, a couple’s intimacy and closeness can suffer. Source of contention On top of this, touch may be lost in a relationship if the couple assumes that all touching has an erotic focus and is relegated to foreplay. As a result, non-erotic touches such as cuddling, light kissing, and embracing are given up. In relationships where desire is uneven (such as those where the man wants sex more often than the woman), touch may become a source of contention. The man doesn’t want to touch the woman for fear that she may reject him, while she may be afraid to touch the man because she is afraid that he will think she is trying to initiate sex. Non-erotic touch If touch has become overlaid with confusing or negative messages, couples should establish a time for nonerotic cuddling, and then set the boundaries clearly. Regular touch will naturally increase intimacy, which may balance out your sexual needs; he will be more satisfied and you may want sex more often. Making non-erotic touch an everyday part of your relationship—playing with your partner’s hair, for example, or tickling their back—can get your relationship back on track, and help create an environment in which erotic touch can be reborn.
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This is especially true if you touch without sexual pressure or expectation—as with kissing, touching outside of the bounds of foreplay can be a powerful libido enhancer. Even if you’re not experiencing mismatched libidos, don’t lose the sense of touch in your relationship. Find simple, sexy, and satisfying ways to connect physically throughout the day and night, then start using touch to enhance your erotic relationship, too. Hellos and goodbyes Start with a good-morning cuddle. If your schedules are different or neither of you are morning people, implement touch in a slightly different way. Greet your man from the shower with a fluffy towel straight from the dryer. He’ll associate the warmth and softness of the towel with your soft embrace. Before you leave for work in the morning, don’t just throw a peck on your partner’s cheek as you run to the car. Take one minute out of your busy schedule to set an affectionate, loving tone for the rest of the day. Wrap your arms around him and plant a kiss on his lips. It will have you thinking of each other all day long. Wrestle for it Remember back in school, when flirting meant playfully punching the boy you liked? Or when the kid who had a crush on you would pull your hair and run away? These silly, flirtatious moves often end as you move into adulthood, but a few competitive caresses can bring a little fun and sassiness back into your relationship. The next time your man crawls into bed and tries to steal all the covers, don’t just whine about it—roll over and attack him with a little erotic wrestling. Rolling and play-fighting under the covers can be highly sexual, especially if you are nude. Even if you are fully clothed, wrestling can be a powerful libido enhancer. The next time you’re arguing over who controls the television remote, challenge him to an arm-wrestling match to settle the issue. Any activity that increases your heart rate and gets you into physical contact will be good for your sex life. Sweet nights Make your bed and bedroom a sexy, relaxing part of your home. This is crucial for setting a romantic mood and will make your bedroom a place where you and your man want to spend time. Make sure the mattress is supportive and comfortable, and has good bounce. Higher beds are better for helping you achieve different positions than low slung beds, but you can always improvise. Choose silky high-thread-count sheets in luxurious fabrics so that when you and your partner head to bed, you will both be enveloped in soft touches. Once you’ve set the bedroom scene and bedded down, think about touching him in a more primal way. For example, you could start things off by curling your fingers loosely in his hair or trailing your nails gently along his back. Light it up Before you actually get down to touching each other, think about just looking first. The sight of naked flesh is incredibly erotic to both men and women, and simply baring all can really make you feel like getting tactile. If you feel self-conscious, think dim lighting—candles and firelight will give your skin a warm glow. Bathe in the soft light and set about arousing each other’s senses. Try out different things Touch is a vital part of human affection and bonding, and it can have healing powers when used often and well. Spend time thinking about opportunities for sensation in your relationship— this will lead you to be more touchy-feely. Find new ways to use gestures that convey warmth and love each day. Experiment with sensations of hot, cold, smooth, and rough. Try rubbing a piece of ice across your partner’s bare torso, or heat things up by placing warmed stones on his back. These sensual experiments will naturally lead you to rethink and reinvent the sexual touches you use in your relationship. Pg 220
Relearning erotic touch Invite your lover to worship your body with different types of touch. Try out the three tantalizing techniques explained here and see where they take you. Experiment with new sensations to evoke all the senses, try hug love for sweet intimacy, and use touchy-feely foreplay to get you both in the mood for some deliciously hot sex. New sensations Make his world melt away when you kiss him, by evoking all his senses. Look deeply into his eyes, wrap your arms around his neck, and press your body against his. Lick your lips. Kiss his lower lip then his upper lip. Open your mouth and run your tongue around the inside of his lips. Give him a little tongue and use your mouth to invite him to kiss you back. Now it’s his turn. Hug love Show him how excited you’re feeling by giving him a sexy hug. Press your body up against his and run your hand all the way down to the base of his spine. Caress and squeeze his bottom. Use your other hand to stroke his face and neck. Squeeze his ear lobe. Put your mouth on his, then push your pelvis against him tightly. Reach down and rub his genitals through his clothes to tell him what you want. Touchy-feely foreplay Use a blindfold and then set out to tantalize his senses. Trickle a little honey over his lips and then lick it off. Heat up your mouth with warm water or tea, then use your hot lips and tongue to caress and lick his hot spots. Take a silk scarf and rub it over his face and his hands, and massage his penis and testicles. Rub your naked breasts and genitals over his face, chest, and penis. Finally, drape your hair—or use a feather wand or boa—over his body and use it to tickle and caress his throat and face. Take off the blindfold, then use your new sensory knowledge to heat things up during sex.
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