Warm and Fuzzy

A Fluffy Tale Ann Somerville

These stories are a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locale or organizations is entirely coincidental. ‘A Fluffy Tale 2: Warm and Fuzzy’ Copyright © 2011 by Ann Somerville Cover image © ginvin2010 - http://us.fotolia.com/id/23006627 All Rights Are Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For more information please visit my website at http://logophilos.net

Smashwords Edition 1, January 2011 Smashwords Edition, License Notes This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Published by Ann Somerville

Contents Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14

Chapter 1 As Daniel opened the front door, Kani popped his head out of Daniel’s pocket and chirped. “You smell pizza too?” Kems never ate but for some strange reason Kani found the scent of cooking pizza irresistible. To Daniel, it meant food, and he was starving. Something healthier for supper might have been better, but the relief of not having to cook after an exhausting day, and knowing Dee would have just pulled out one of the frozen ones they’d made in bulk last week, made it difficult to feel really guilty. “Go find Veen and Lili. Go play,” he said, putting his kem on the ground and patting his little grey bottom. Kani squeaked and scampered off up the stairs. He opened his mouth to tell everyone he was home, but Dee bounced out of the kitchen before he could make a sound. She came to a halt and put her hands on her hips. “Well?” Her kem, Lili, perching on her shoulder, put her head up with an identical expectant expression on her furry little face. “I start next Monday.” Dee yelled and ran for him, Lili jumping off with a squeak before she was squished in a sibling sandwich. Daniel caught Dee up and swung her around. “You did it,” she bellowed into his right ear. “Proud of you!” “Thanks, Dee. Where’s Alex?” “Alex!” Daniel stuck a finger into his now deafened ear and let her go so she could shout up the stairs. “Daniel got the job! Come down.” Alex thundered down the stairs and jumped straight at Daniel. “Really? Are we going to be rich?” Daniel grinned and ruffled his brother’s red hair. “Not quite, squirt. Who’s hungry? I’m starving.” “We’re having pizza,” Dee confirmed. Veen, Lili, and Kani tumbled down the stairs, and Kani squeaked excitedly as the magic word ‘pizza’ was mentioned. Dee bent and picked up her kem. “Daniel, you should call Grandma.” “I will, but after I eat. I didn’t have lunch.” She pulled a face that reminded Daniel achingly of their mother. “That’s a bad habit.” “Nag, nag,” he said, tugging on her ponytail, then scooping up Kani and putting him on his shoulder. “Come on.” As they ate the pizza, Daniel vowed that some of his new salary would go towards better food. The pizza was delicious but the household budget was tight, and he hated

opening the fridge and seeing all the discount stickers on the new items, meaning Dee had been scouring the bargains again. It took her time which she didn’t have to spare, between her studies, her archery, looking after Alex while Daniel had searched fruitlessly for a job that an unqualified would-be engineer with no experience could do, and spending a tiny number of hours of week socializing with her friends—something Daniel was determined she should continue to do. He didn’t want her turning into Alex’s ‘mother’—or his own. “Maybe we should hire a cleaner once a week,” he said after he wiped his mouth, burping a little. “We can’t afford it,” Dee snapped. He did a double-take, her outrage as uncharacteristic as it was shocking. “It was just an idea, DeeDee. We can afford it with me working—” “No way. We can manage. The house is clean, right, Alex?” Her little brother nodded vigorously. “Yes, it is,” Daniel said, patting her arm. “But your exams are coming up, and I’ll be out of the house all day—” “No. You’re not working to pay for someone to do what we can do ourselves. Mum would have hated that.” “But she had a cleaner for a couple of years when Alex was smaller....” He shut up, as the mulish set to his sister’s jaw became something sadder, and her eyes started to fill. “It was just an idea, Dee. I’m worried about you doing too much.” “You too.” “I’m fine. We’re all fine, right, Alex?” His brother nodded again. “There you go. I better go phone Grandma. Alex, dishes.” “You don’t have to tell me,” Alex grumbled, climbing off the stool. “No, I don’t. You’re a good kid. You’re both good kids.” “Huh, you’re not exactly an old man,” Dee said, smiling a little. “Maybe not, but I have to fake being a responsible adult now. Why don’t you go up and talk to Susan?” “She’s got a new boyfriend.” She made it sound like ‘herpes’. “Natalie wanted me to go online though, when I finish my assignment.” “Need any help with it?” “No, big brother, I do not need you to do my homework. Go call Grandma and tell them I send my love.” He grinned and went to his parents’ office to make the call. He couldn’t call it ‘his’ office in his head, and never would. His parents’ books and papers, their desks, were just as they’d been left, and though Daniel had cleared a small space for his own laptop, he

couldn’t bring himself to disturb the rest of it more than absolutely necessary. If he’d had any inclination to, it would have disappeared after coming in one afternoon and finding Dee curled around one of their mother’s medical books, sobbing her heart out in their mother’s chair. It was too soon to think of changing anything. It probably always would be. His grandmother took a long time to answer the phone and even though this wasn’t unusual, Daniel’s chest still tightened with anxiety. He couldn’t help having bad associations with people not responding to his telephone calls. He wondered if he would ever react normally to perfectly ordinary things like building sites and unanswered calls again. Finally his grandmother’s voice came on the line. “Daniel? How are you, dear?” “I’m fine, Grandma. I just wanted to let you know I got a job.” “Oh, wonderful. Which one?” “Personal assistant in a company which works with job creation charities. Microloans and that kind of thing.” “Oh goodness. I didn’t know you knew about that kind of thing, dear.” “I don’t. But the guy I’ll be working for says all that matters is that I’m smart and willing to learn, which I am.” “Well, I hope it goes splendidly for you.” She paused to cough and Daniel’s chest got tight again. “How are the children?” “All good, and sending their love. How’s Grandpa?” She paused and Daniel had a horrible feeling she was preparing to deliver bad news. “He just finished the chemo today. He’s tired, but holding up. He’ll be so pleased to hear about the job.” “As soon as Alex and Dee finish school this year, we’ll come up. At least, they will. I don’t know if I’ll be able to get holidays so soon.” “That’d be lovely, dear. Alex knows not to be too noisy, doesn’t he? Joseph hasn’t been sleeping well.” “He’ll be good, Grandma. They’re great kids, you know that.” “You all are, dear. I wish we could have you here to stay. It’s so worrying that you’re all so far away.” “I know. Can’t be helped. I’ll call you again after I start work next week, let you know how I’m getting on. And you’ll let us know how Grandpa is?” “Yes, of course. He’s doing as well as we hoped. You mustn’t worry about us, dear.” Some hope of that. “Tell Grandpa to get lots of rest. Love you.” “You too, Daniel. Love to you all.” He hung up. He often wished he hadn’t felt it so important to keep the family house

and stay here, instead of moving across the country. He hadn’t wanted to disrupt Dee and Alex’s schooling, not on top of all the other changes in their lives, and, selfishly, he hadn’t wanted to deal with the hassle. When Grandma had the heart attack and then they heard about Grandpa’s cancer, he’d felt paralysed by fresh grief and worry, and that had made making a decision to move even more impossible. Too late now, after he’d spent months looking for a job and finally got one. Now he’d have to make the best of it, earn and save enough to give them security, let Dee and Alex have the freedom to do the things their parents had wanted them to do. If he could at least afford to send them to their grandparents for the long hols, that would be something. It would be good for all of them, and if he’d be a little lonely for two months, it didn’t matter so long as the kids had a much needed break and his grandparents had company. Kani licked his face, and Daniel smiled at the gentle touch. He patted his kem, who nuzzled affectionately under his chin, reminding Daniel was still wearing his tie. He tugged it off with a sigh. No hope that his new job would be relaxed about such things. Anthony—“Call me Tony,” he’d said—Noble, his new boss, had explained that the company had a strict dress code to inspire professionalism in their clients and confidence in their wealthy sponsors. Daniel hated ties with a passion. But he hated denying his sister and brother security and little luxuries even more. So ties were in, at least until the bank account was a little healthier. “Come on you, let’s go help Alex and Veen.” Kani chirped, jumped down and scampered off towards the kitchen. If only Daniel could feel so much innocent excitement about his new job. Once he settled in, it would all be easier. He just had to get through the first few weeks.

Chapter 2 “Spencer, have you time to come and meet my new assistant and talk about the project?” Spen patted Myko away from his mobile phone and wagged his finger at his kem as he listened to the call through his earpiece. “Sure, Tony. I’ll be along in ten minutes.” Tony closed the call, and Myko made an odd little hiss as Spen took his earpiece off to rub the spot behind his ear. “What’s the matter with you?” Myko sniffed but declined to give any more clues. Spen could guess. His kem didn’t like Tony Noble for some reason, and the signs of disapproval had only increased in the six months since Noble had joined the company. Spen didn’t have strong feelings one way or the other, except he wished the high and mighties had picked a more IT literate manager to supervise the implementation of the software designed to coordinate communications between the company, trainers and trainees. Although a more IT literate manager might have interfered more, which would have been definitely unwanted. Spen had very strong ideas about managers stomping all over his department and his team. He lifted his head and caught the eye of his deputy manager, Jyoti. “Off to a meeting, number two. You have the conn.” She saluted with a grin. “Aye aye, captain.” Spen’s team was one big geek hive, and he loved it. Myko rode on his shoulder, chirping happily in greeting to other people and their kems as Spen walked through the corridors and rode in the lift. It reminded Spen again that he’d never seen Tony Noble’s kem. Some people, strange to say, didn’t care for their kem’s company during the working day—or at all—and Noble seemed to be of that mind. Stroking Myko’s fluffy tail, Spen couldn’t imagine enduring the office day without his little friend. Myko, apparently reading his thoughts, gave his cheek a lick. “Yes, I was thinking about you, you nuisance. Now behave and don’t hiss at anyone. Not even him, okay?” Myko squeaked, but the mischievous glint in his golden eyes didn’t reassure. Kems did what they wanted in the end. Their humans could only hold their hands up and say “Wasn’t me, honest”. He knocked on Noble’s office door and walked in. A young man stood as he entered. Spen’s first thought was to wonder if the school kids on work experience had started early this year. “Ah, Spencer, thanks for coming,” Noble said, without rising. “This is Daniel Walkinshaw, my new PA. Daniel, Spencer Reardon.” So, not a kid. Spen shook Daniel’s hand, but still couldn’t wrap his mind around the idea that this was a man in his twenties, or so he assumed. Girlish features, large green

eyes and a shy expression all contributed to the disconnect. “Hi, I’m Spen.” “Nice to meet you.” Daniel’s grip with a callused hand was firm enough, and his voice was definitely a man’s. Not girly at all. His eyes did travel up and down Spen’s body before he remembered his manners, but Spen was used to that. After all, when you were six and a half feet tall, you had to get used to it. Spen forced himself to stop staring. Myko, who’d been rather tense until now, suddenly chirped in enquiry, his tail flicking towards the little grey kem on the back of Daniel’s chair. “And this is Myko.” “Oh, hello, Myko. Kani, say hello.” The grey kem jumped onto Daniel’s arm and ran up to his shoulder, where he chirped excitedly at Myko above him on Spen’s shoulder. Spen could feel Myko’s need to join the other kem, but he stroked Myko’s tail and sent a silent wish for him to behave, a wish Myko granted. Noble cleared his throat somewhat impatiently. “Take a seat, Spencer.” Spen obeyed. Myko hopped down to the floor, where Kani joined him for a discreet cuddle and licking session. Daniel shot his kem a tiny smile, then looked down as if worried that he’d offended someone by doing so. New employee nerves, Spen diagnosed. “Daniel, Spencer is our IT manager, and in charge of implementing the CrossChannel project in this location under my supervision. You and he will be working closely together to ensure that the software is installed and activated smoothly, and handle the feedback from our people. If it goes well, we’ll be presenting a report at the national conference in two months’ time. It’s very important to me that this project is a success, so I’ll be depending on you two to work together to make it happen. Spencer, I thought you could introduce Daniel to your people and give him a more technical overview. I have, of course, given him the broad outline of the goals and features of Cross-Channel, but I thought I’d leave the nuts and bolts to the technicians.” Spen made himself smile, and stopped himself rolling his eyes. Managers tended to notice when he made it clear, silently or otherwise, that he thought they were manifestly unqualified on a particular subject. Most of the managers in the company weren’t that tech literate, but since Spen had heard from a reliable source that when Noble joined the company, he’d asked his PA at the time how his track pad worked, it had been a surprise to learn he’d been selected to oversee the rolling out of a large and complicated IT project. Still, he’d apparently recognized his own limitations and knew when to leave Spen to get on with it. Spen only hoped this kid he’d hired had some basic computer knowledge, otherwise he’d be wasting a lot of time bringing two non-techs up to speed. “Shall we do that now, Tony?” Daniel asked. “Yes, yes. Take however long you need. Be back here at two though, as I want to prepare for that meeting tomorrow.”

“Yes, I will. Kani, come on.” Daniel’s kem ran over and up to his shoulder—his favourite perch, obviously. Myko did the same with Spen. “We’re in the basement,” Spen said as they walked out together. “Yes, I know. I read it in the manual.” Daniel flushed. “Um, I didn’t mean to be rude.” “You weren’t. You read the manual? Tony gave you time to do that already?” “I, um, took it home. I wanted to make sure I knew all the office procedures and key personnel.” O...kay. Actual technical manuals, Spen could understand. But the office manual? He’d been in the company two years and he’d never actually read the thing, though he’d written the section on the IT department. But then he’d been headhunted so he felt secure in his new job. PAs were easier to replace—fortunately for Tony Noble, since Daniel was his third in six months. He waved his ID card at the sensor. “You’ll need access too, I guess. I prefer IM and emails but I guess face-to-face is unavoidable in this kind of thing.” Daniel smiled hesitantly, but didn’t comment. Spen would have thought after a week he’d have lost some of his new boy nerves, but apparently not. “Come on in, we don’t bite. Much.” Daniel’s eyes widened as if he believed Spen was serious. Good grief. “Guys? Meet Daniel, Tony Noble’s new assistant. He’s going to work with us implementing Cross-Channel.” A chorus of “Hi, Daniels” broke out and the kid went red again, although he waved back and said “Hi” in a reasonably confident tone. His kem squeaked and jumped down to the floor, having spotted a bunch of new playmates, and all the office kems, including Myko, rushed over to begin the traditional love-in. Daniel started to move towards them, but stopped. “Sorry—do you mind Kani doing that?” “Can hardly stop him, can we? Don’t worry about the kems. Come meet everyone. This is Jyoti, my deputy. That’s Devi, Luke, Amanda, Wendy, and Joshua. I have a couple of people off sick so I want to wrap this up pretty quickly this morning. I can give you all the documentation to read and you can come back with any questions. Is that okay?” Daniel nodded and took a seat where Spen indicated. “Right. Not sure what Tony told you?” “Um, he said Cross-Channel would make it easier to keep track of training projects, and trainees to get feedback and access training materials online. The trainers would build up a dataset of documents, which any of them could edit and refine, and become a resource for the entire company. It sounded like a great idea.”

“It is, but we’re working with a notoriously IT-illiterate group, not to mention trainees with their own problems. Did Tony mention our target clients?” “A bit. You’re working with the long-term unemployed?” “And people with drug problems, disabilities, language difficulties—anything and everything. So one,” Spen checked the points off on his fingers, “we have to get our people trained. Two, we have to make sure access and security are as we want them. Three, we have to get the software installed and configured. Four, we have to train the people training the trainees. And five, we must keep Tony’s ego stroked.” That forced a laugh out of Daniel, though he looked down quickly, long pale eyelashes brushing reddening cheeks. “He did mention a few times how important this was to him.” “Yeah, I bet. But anyway, let me show you a demo. It’s all accessed in a normal browser. Which one do you prefer?” “I don’t really have a preference.” Spen frowned. “Okay. Which one do you use at home on your computer?” “Uh.” Jyoti caught Spen’s eye and raised her eyebrows. “You do use the internet at home, don’t you? Which operating system do you run?” “Redbird.” “Redbird?” Spen leaned back in his chair. “Are you sure? That’s not something you find on most home computers.” “No, I know. I was using it in my course at Uni, and I like it. It’s easy to program in.” Spen’s brain did a one-eighty. He’d been thinking this kid was too dumb to even operate a simple web browser, and now he found he was comfortable programming in a high-level, highly specialised OS with its own rarefied language and uses. “So the browser...?” “Wrote it myself,” Daniel admitted. “I don’t really use the commercial ones, but I know how to,” he added earnestly. “I bet. What did you study at Uni?” Spen asked, mentally revising his estimate of Daniel’s age again. “Electrical engineering, but I dropped out last year.” Something in the set of his jaw as he said that, warned Spen not to ask why. “Uh, right. Okay, then, you might find some of what I’m saying a bit simplistic—” “No, no...I mean, you’re writing web applications and interfaces for general users in an open environment and I haven’t done much of that at all. Just treat me like I’m an idiot.” He gave a deprecating smile as he said that.

“I will if I have to,” Spen agreed, but smiling too. “Okay. Demo.” For the next hour and a half, Daniel watched intently, played with the demonstration site under Spen’s supervision, and asked a few but pertinent questions. Maybe he didn’t know much about writing user interfaces, or the database language they were using, but he knew data, and he understood the issues of security and access Spen had to address. Spen gave him the manual, apologising in advance for the simple-minded writing which he’d pitched at the level of their IT-phobic employees. “That’s fine. It’ll be a quick read then.” Daniel’s smile had become much more open and ready as the morning had worn on. “I’ll bring it back tomorrow.” “Don’t read the damn thing at home. Life’s too short.” Daniel clutched the folder to his chest, and his smile disappeared. “Yes. Yes, it is. But I can read it on the bus. Thanks for taking the time. I know you’re busy.” “Not a problem. I’ll arrange your ID to have access for this section, and send you an email confirming. There’s a meeting on Thursday at eleven.” “Yes, Tony told me. I’ll be there. Thank you.” He bobbed his head and rushed out of the room, stopping only to scoop up his kem and pop him up on his shoulder. As the door closed behind him, Luke came over to Spen’s desk. “What the hell is someone like that doing working for a tit like Tony Noball?” “I have no idea, but I intend to find out. At least we didn’t end up with a moron as our liaison.” Spen raised his arms over his head and cracked his spine. Myko took that as an invitation to hop into his lap for a petting and cuddle, which Spen delivered without even needing to think about it. “Right. Who’s going to lunch?”

Chapter 3 Daniel rubbed his forehead, trying to ease the headache that had been sitting in his frontal lobes all day. He had redone this presentation three times now, and hoped this time Tony wouldn’t decide to radically rewrite it, as he had with the three previous attempts. The presentation was for a key meeting, and Daniel didn’t begrudge the time spent, but he worried it was his own incompetence which made the previous versions so lacklustre. He didn’t want Tony to start questioning the decision to hire him. Not this soon anyway. “Got those graphics Tony wanted.” A folder slammed down in his desk as Linda’s sulky voice penetrated his attention. He looked up. “Uh, do you have the digital versions?” “You mean the original files?” She said it as if he was a total moron for not using the correct office term. “Couldn’t find them. They’re lost, apparently.” The look on her face made Daniel doubt the truth of that, but it also told him it was a waste of time to argue. “Okay, thanks.” He made a special effort to smile in as polite and friendly a manner as he could, but Linda sneered and flounced off. Effort wasted, clearly. She didn’t like him. None of the other PAs did. In fact the only people in the entire office who treated him as something higher in the evolutionary scale than bacteria were Spen’s team. Daniel took a guilty pleasure in the frequent visits he had to make to the IT section, and wondered what he would do when this rollout was finished and the meetings with Spen and his people were no longer necessary. The printed graphics weren’t good enough to use in a slideshow, so Daniel resigned himself to a couple of hours trying to recreate them using software designed for idiots. No lunch for him again. There was a strict “no eating at the desk” rule, so apart from quick cups of plastic coffee in the kitchen, he had to manage until he got home in the evening. He didn’t dare tell Dee. She suspected he ate badly, and he did. Had done as a student, and now as an office worker. He just did what he had to do, to get the work done. That was what his job was. Bring in the income, keep the family going. There was no one else now to do that. At half past two he knocked on Tony’s door. “Finished the redo.” His boss smiled approvingly. “Terrific. Let me look.” “It’s on the server. I’ll just call it up—” “No need. I can come and look on your computer. Let’s see.” So Daniel opened the file up again, and Tony leaned over him, his hand casually on Daniel’s shoulder. Daniel didn’t find the position comfortable in any sense of the word, but Tony was a touchy-feely kind of boss, and since Daniel had zero experience with an

employer in this situation, he realised he would have to adjust. He did his best not to squirm or indicate in any way that Tony’s hand bothered him, but he wished Tony wouldn’t wear such sickly cologne. “Good thing Legal found those graphics.” “Uh, they only had print outs, so I remade them. Hope they’re okay.” Tony looked at him. “They’re wonderful, but I didn’t realise you’d have to...I mean, those pictures were done ages ago.” “They lost the original files, Linda said.” “Right.” Tony frowned. “Did you have lunch today?” “Not yet. I wanted to finish—” “Did you have lunch yesterday?” Daniel flushed. “Not exactly.” “Rest of the week?” “No. There was so much to do.” He realised after he said it that it sounded like a complaint. “I mean, I’m still getting used to things so I’m slower—” Tony held up his hand. “No, this isn’t good enough.” Daniel’s heart sank. He’d failed already. “I don’t want my staff burning out, and I certainly don’t want them starving. Now you go home early, have a good, restful weekend, and I expect you to take a proper break in the middle of the day. Employment laws and all that, you know,” he added, wagging his finger sternly. Kani meeped and patted it with a paw. Daniel hastily picked his kem off his shoulder and set him down on the floor. “Close this down, and I’ll see you Monday.” “But what if it needs changes?” “I’ll have to ask someone. It looks fine, Daniel. It’s on the server, you said.” He squeezed Daniel’s shoulder, and smiled. “Off you go, and thank you.” “Uh...you’re welcome. Are you sure?” “Daniel....” “Okay. Thank you. See you Monday.” Tony smiled again and went back to his office. Daniel did a quick check to make sure he’d left his desk in a tidy state, that the files for the presentation were clearly marked and easily locatable, then he scooped up Kani and his jacket, and headed for the lift. Linda came around the corner, but pretended not to see him. Suited Daniel—he didn’t want to have to explain why he was leaving early because he wasn’t at all sure it didn’t make him look like a lame duck PA. Two secretaries from Dennis Obi’s team joined him in the lift, but ignored him. Maybe they could tell he was gay and disapproved? He had no other explanation to offer himself as to why he was almost universally despised, and he certainly wasn’t going to ask. He just had to do the job. That

was all that mattered. The secretaries got off at the fifth floor, leaving Daniel and Kani to ride the rest of the way alone. Kani wormed his way back onto Daniel’s shoulder and licked his face, giving out quiet little chirps of concern. “I’m okay,” Daniel said, petting Kani’s tail. “Just tired. And starving.” Kani chirped louder. “You’re hungry too, I bet. Sorry, kiddo. You should make more fuss.” Kani responded by sticking the end of his tail into Daniel’s ear, making him laugh as the lift doors opened. An array of bemused and slightly disapproving looks from waiting passengers greeted the two of them. Kani squeaked and disappeared, and Daniel scurried away from the lift area as quickly as he could. He didn’t want a reputation as a lunatic. Kani reappeared seconds later, just as Daniel spotted Spen’s unmistakeable figure striding towards them. His heart gave a queer little lurch, half panic, half relief. Since Spen was one of his few allies, Daniel was terrified of doing anything to diminish the goodwill between them, but his growing crush on this handsome, funny, clever...incredibly tall...guy made conversations torture. He lived in fear of opening his mouth and letting some utterly gauche or stupid comment fall out, which would either let Spen know about Daniel’s secret feelings, or make him think Daniel was a total dork. It always took a little while before Spen’s easy charm let him relax and talk normally. Spen was dressed as usual in a sharp suit, his slim tie knotted loosely and letting the hollow of his long neck show, the crisp whiteness of his shirt setting off his dark skin nicely. Even in a suit, he looked utterly relaxed. Daniel had no idea how he managed that. Spen spotted them—or rather Myko spotted Kani and the two kems running towards each other gave Spen the tip—and waved. Daniel smiled, but hoped Spen would be too busy to stop and chat. No such luck. “Hi, Daniel. Off to late lunch?” “Uh, no. Going home.” Spen’s eyebrows lifted. “Are you sick?” “No, no...just been working through my lunch hours and Tony didn’t approve. He sent me home.” God, that sounded awful. “I mean...he thought I’d been working too hard and wanted me to have a break.” “Now that’s something I agree with. You don’t want to burn out. I know all about wanting to impress a new boss, but I don’t think you have anything to worry about there. Shame you’re heading off. I was about to give you a call and ask if you wanted to come along with us to the pub this evening.” “Us?” Daniel squeaked. “The IT lot. No one scary,” he added with a big grin. He had a lovely smile, Daniel thought. “You still could come along....”

Daniel was tempted because he hadn’t had an evening out since...well, not since Uni...but put the temptation aside. “I can’t, sorry. I should get home. There’s stuff to do.” “Oh, okay.” Spen sounded truly regretful. “Next week, maybe.” “Yeah, I’d like that.” “See you next week. Seriously, you shouldn’t stress so much. You’re good. You have no idea how much easier having you to liaise with has made my job.” Daniel’s face heated up with embarrassed pleasure. “Uh...thanks. I try.” “You do. Have a good weekend...and look after yourself, okay?” The warm concern in Spen’s voice and his kind brown eyes made Daniel want to cry. “I will,” he managed to say. “You too. Kani, come on.” Kani and Myko gave each other one last nuzzle of affection, then Kani bounded over and up Daniel’s body onto his shoulder. He chirped at Spen, and Spen reached over to pat Kani’s fuzzy head. “You look after our boy, squirt. See you both later.” Myko climbed his human’s leg and Spen strode off, the only man in the whole company who could make a suit look cool, an imposing sight never likely to be lost in the crowds. Daniel watched until he disappeared around a corner, then sighed. “We better go, Kani. Time to feed both of us.” Kani squeaked in delight, and his easy joy put a reluctant grin on Daniel’s face. A kem’s life was so damn simple.

~~~~~~~~ Spen had been looking forward to talking to Daniel outside the office, but it was a lot to ask, expecting him to hang around for hours just to have a pint. Spen couldn’t begrudge him an early start to the weekend. Strange that it was Tony suggesting it, since the guy had a rep for asking a lot of overtime from his assistants and pushing them hard. Maybe he didn’t want to scare the kid off. If Spen had someone on his team as bright and helpful as Daniel, he’d do almost anything to retain them. Damn shame Daniel didn’t have a formal qualification, or Spen would poach him without a twinge of conscience. Friday afternoons were for winding down everywhere but in IT, which all too often had to deal with a last minute panic by one or other of the managers over projects for the next week, new employees, and equipment failures. But at six, Spen stood and whistled. “Okay, boys and girls. Close it down, lock it up, and get your party on.” “My man Spen,” Luke called approvingly, already logging out and switching off non-essential equipment. Ten minutes later they were in their favourite local pub, Spen making the first round of orders as was traditional. Bearing a pint of his favourite real ale, he nabbed prime position in the corner, while his people spread around and took greedy slurps of liquid refreshment. An almost choreographed sigh, and then a ripple as everyone relaxed.

“Fuck, this week sucked,” Jyoti said with a groan. Her kem nuzzled her cheek in sympathy. “Just like every other week,” Luke said. “Hey, I heard a bit of gossip about our boy Daniel. Seems HR weren’t at all happy about recruiting him, and the prevailing wisdom is that he’ll be gone before his probation is up.” Spen frowned, not liking to encourage this kind of thing, but Jyoti had already seized on the morsel. “Why would HR object? He’s bright, really sharp.” “Yeah, but he doesn’t have a degree, and there were a few noses out of joint since they had so many internal candidates. Noball really pushed for him. Looked a bit funny, apparently.” “Managers do that all the time,” Spen said. “I pushed for you.” He gave his tech a quelling look. “Nothing strange about that.” “No, of course not.” Jyoti took the hint, and turned the conversation to suggestions being floated for team building outings. Luke didn’t bring Daniel up again, to Spen’s relief. But Luke and Spen had to wait at the same bus stop for their ride home, and despite Spen’s distaste for the subject, Luke had something on his mind that he had to express. “It isn’t just Daniel’s recruitment that’s weird, you know.” “I don’t think this is a good—” “No, wait, Spen. I like Daniel, that’s why I want to tell you. You know how we were all told that Jan left for a better job and that’s why he resigned in such a hurry? Well, Alison in Logistics said she ran into him two weeks ago, and he’s unemployed. As in, still unemployed. He didn’t have a job to go to—he just left without giving notice. Alison’s since found out that HR knew about it but were happy to spread the fake story.” “Maybe he had personal reasons. Wasn’t his mum sick?” “Yeah. She died a couple of weeks before Jan left. Alison said he was happy to talk about his mum, but clammed up tight when she mentioned Noble. There’s something funny about Noble, Spen. Two males PAs in a row, which is unusual in itself, lasting less than three months each? And now a new one he’s recruited against everyone’s advice?” “Sorry, I’m still not seeing why this is a worry. Noball is an egotistical pain in the arse, so maybe people just don’t like working for him.” Luke folded his arms and looked seriously at Spen. “Lots of our managers are pains in the arse, and their people stick at it for years. I reckon it has to be something else.” “Like?” “Work it out. Jan was young, pretty and gay. Daniel is young and pretty, and if he’s not gay, I’m a baboon.” “Noble’s married with kids.”

“Yeah. Perfect cover.” “So why does he still have a job? Come on, Luke. You think the company would keep him on if this was true?” Luke shrugged. “Maybe Jan didn’t want the hassle. Or maybe the company paid him off. Why would they lie about him? They wouldn’t want word to get out that Noble’s sexually harassing his staff. The work we do, the clients we have? Can’t afford the publicity.” “Sounds like bollocks to me. You don’t have any proof of this. You really don’t want to spread this around.” “I won’t, but I wanted to tell you. The knives are out for this kid, at least among the admin assistants, and that’s no rumour. Someone needs to keep an eye on him. He likes you. We like him. I don’t want him to lose his job.” “You’re making this very personal. And that’s your bus.” “Shit, yeah.” Luke stuck his hand out to hail it, and the bus pulled into the stop. “Look him up on the net and you’ll see why.” “What?” “On the net. You’ll find him. See you Monday.” Spen waved distractedly as the bus pulled off. His own bus arrived a minute later, and he settled down in his seat, disturbed by Luke’s odd news and his strange obsession with Daniel’s safety. If true, it certainly was worrying, but Luke implied that it was more than Daniel’s youth and inexperience that might make him vulnerable. Annoyed at himself for giving into the urge, he pulled out his smartphone and typed in “Daniel Walkinshaw”. There were too many results to make sense of, so he just searched for images. The very first page of results showed their Daniel, pictured of him with his family, some showing him holding some kind of prize or certificate. Spen clicked through and discovered that Daniel had won prizes at his secondary school for Chemistry and Computing, and a part-scholarship for his tuition fees. So he was bright. This wasn’t in dispute. Puzzled as to why Luke thought this was relevant, Spen went back to the search results, and clicked on one of the pictures of a somewhat younger Daniel with a brother and sister and his parents. Spen assumed it was to do with his academic achievements. He couldn’t have been more wrong. This was what Luke had been talking about. Daniel’s parents had died last year in a freak accident involving a collapsing crane and a horrifyingly large block of concrete, leaving Daniel and his siblings orphaned. There were dozens of reports focussing on the misfortune of the people killed and what had caused the accident, and a certain amount of attention to the fate of the three children. But with Daniel being an adult, and with living

grandparents, the assumption seemed to be that the two younger kids would manage. The press had moved on, though a coronial enquiry had been held just three months ago, deeming the deaths to be unlawful, and a recent news report said the company responsible for the crane’s maintenance was to be prosecuted for manslaughter. So that explained the interrupted degree, which was a damn shame. But it also explained why someone with his obvious technical talent was stuck in an office working for Tony Noble. Did it also explain why Noble had been so eager to hire him? Young, pretty...and responsible for an orphaned brother and sister. Gay or not, Daniel had flashing signs all over him saying “prey”. The question was, was Noble a predator or was that accusation purely based on the office gossip machine, never particularly charitable or accurate? Myko put his paw on Daniel’s picture. “What do you think, eh? Worried too?” Myko looked up at Spen and it really did look like he was concerned, especially when he patted the photo again and gave a sad little chirp. But maybe Myko was only reacting to Spen’s mood. Hard to know, with kems. He nearly missed his stop, he was so absorbed in his thoughts, and only Myko nipping his ear saved him from a long walk back. Even when he got back to the house, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. His mum came out as he rummaged through the fridge. “Hello, love. Had a nice time?” Myko squeaked in glee and jumped from Spen’s shoulder to his mother’s, so she had Vira, her kem, on one side of her head, and Myko on the other. Myko spent near as much time on his mum’s shoulder as Spen’s when he was home. “Same as usual. How was school?” “Same as usual.” She grinned. “Let’s just say that I’m glad retirement is only three years away.” “You’d be bored.” “I’d love a chance to be bored. There’s a couple of chops if you want them.” “No, thanks. I’ll just make a cheese sandwich.” “I was just going to have a cup of tea. Want one?” “Oh, thanks. Where’s Dad?” “Asleep in front of the telly. I thought I’d wake him up when I was off to bed.” Spen nodded. His dad was often exhausted by the end of the week. He worked for the city as an engineer, and budget cuts meant there was always more work than there were people to do it. His mum made the tea while Spen made his sandwich, and they sat together in the kitchen while he ate. “Mum, what do you know about orphaned kids? Do they get much help?”

“Depends on their age. If they’re under sixteen, then they go into foster care.” “What if one of them is an adult?” “Then I think the government only steps in if there’s a problem. Thinking of someone in particular?” “Sort of. I don’t really know the full story.” Nor did he know if Daniel was really the only adult looking after his siblings. Spen knew very little about his situation, and Daniel was very close-mouthed about it. Which was a hint, if Spen needed one, that it was none of his business. “Something bothering you, Spencer?” He shook himself. “No, not really. Someone at work was talking about a new employee, and got me thinking.” “Someone in trouble?” “Not that I know of. Not yet.” His mother, no fool, peered at him. “But you’re worried.” “I don’t know if I need to be. I’ll just keep an eye on things.” She patted his hand. “You do that, love. Can’t do any harm to watch out for someone who might need help.” She yawned. “Oh heavens. I think I better wake your father and go to bed. See you in the morning.” She lifted Myko off her shoulder and set him down on the table, then bent over and kissed Spen. “You have a good heart, Spencer. It’ll always steer you right.” “Thanks, Mum. Sleep well.” He was tired too, and should really find his own bed, but he couldn’t stop thinking about Daniel. About what it would be like to lose his parents so young, so suddenly. And about Daniel and Tony Noble, and what, if anything, was behind the departure of Noball’s previous PA. Spen was no innocent and had seen a few things he couldn’t even tell his mother about, open-minded as she was. Even so, he found it hard to get his head around the idea that a self-important idiot like Tony Noble—someone in the same company as Spen, someone he saw on an almost daily basis—would cold-bloodedly target an orphaned young man just to get his rocks off. Yet worse things happened every day, and all too often by someone described by neighbours and friends as “such a lovely quiet person”. On the other hand, Luke did occasionally get worked up about things which turned out to have no basis at all. Like the time he became convinced the new office drinking water bottles leached cancer-causing chemicals into the water, and tried to organise a petition to get the company to change suppliers again. Jyoti finally got in touch with the lab that did the quality control testing and asked them to email Luke directly to allay his fears, at which point he gave up his campaign, and Spen could stop worrying about how

he’d replace an important team member who’d been fired for stupidity. Luke was sincerely worried about Daniel, but that didn’t mean there was anything to worry about. Spen finished his cup of tea, then washed up the plate and other things. He couldn’t do any more about this without more information, and he couldn’t get that until next week, so there was no point in fretting over it. “Maybe I should get you to talk to Kani and ask him about it,” he said to Myko. His kem tipped his head and appeared to be seriously considering the idea, and not for the first time, Spen wondered exactly how much kems understood about human affairs. “We can both keep an eye on him, okay?” Myko chirped and lifted up a paw. Spen shook it, smiling at his kem’s strange gesture. “Right, off to bed for the two of us. And no waking me up at dawn, you hear?” Myko’s wide-eyed “Who, me?” expression was entirely fake, Spen knew from experience. But a very convincing fake.

Chapter 4 A weekend’s reflection on the subject of Daniel and his boss didn’t bring any great enlightenment. If Spen could have talked to his mother about it, it might have helped, but he didn’t like the idea of spreading rumours any further than Luke had already done, and he felt uneasy about making assumptions about Daniel’s home situation. The obvious thing would have been to talk to Daniel himself, but that was surprisingly difficult to arrange gracefully without revealing that Spen already knew more than he really should do. Daniel clearly liked Spen’s team, but he was rather hesitant and overawed by Spen himself, though he tended to relax once he’d been in the section for a few minutes. There was just no opening where Spen could casually say, “So, I hear you’re an orphan”, or “You know your boss? We think he might be a bit of a creeper”. How could you say that to anyone? So all he could do was wait, be friendly, watch Daniel—which wasn’t a hardship, because the kid was ridiculously cute—and hope like hell Luke was wrong. Spen didn’t even have much chance to keep an eye on him the next week, as he only saw Daniel twice, and that only in passing. Daniel looked harried and worried, but he nearly always did. One thing Luke had definitely pegged right was the hostility towards him. Spen saw the looks and noticed the comments now he was alert to them. He overheard two secretaries at the photocopier sneering about Noble’s “hopeless assistant”. Infuriating, when Spen knew how far from the truth it was, but jumping down these bitchy women’s throats wasn’t likely to improve Daniel’s reputation. Spen didn’t know there was much he could do, since Daniel didn’t work for him. Yet. He had some vague ideas about poaching Daniel for his own team, but as yet, they hadn’t resolved into something solid he could put to upper management. He needed more time to observe Daniel and his skills, and it was a political battle that would need careful planning. He could at least chase Daniel up for the Friday pub outing. One of the perks of being the manager of a team in a secure area was access to real-time security logs which tracked the movement of individuals’ passes through RFID checkpoints. This meant he could check if anyone had come into the IT section behind an authorised individual. So far he never had to worry about it, but the access was occasionally useful to locate members of his team who’d wandered off, without the hassle of calling and checking on them. Now it came in handy to let him know where Daniel was taking his lunch break— in the Legal and Donor Management staff kitchen. Spen took the lift to the fifth floor, and found his quarry. “Hey.” Daniel looked up in shock, nearly spilling his tea. “S-Spen. What are you doing here?” Kani, lying curled up on the table, uncoiled and squeaked. Myko jumped down for

a cuddle. “Looking for you. Calm down. You’re not in trouble.” Spen swung into the chair opposite him. “How’s things?” “Fine. Busy. Did you want something? I thought the project was in client testing.” “Yeah, it is. I just wanted to ask you to come along tonight. It’s Friday.” At Daniel’s confused look, he added, “Pub night.” “Oh. I’m sorry, I can’t.” He shot a glance in the direction of his office. “I’ve been working late most of this week and I have to get home on time tonight. It’s not fair.” “Fair on...?” Daniel flushed. “My sister. She’s looking after my little brother.” “Parents away?” Spen felt like a bastard for pretending he didn’t know, and Myko’s glance at his words only increased his guilty feelings. “No. Um, there’s just the three of us. My sister’s taken on so much work since I started here and she’s studying for her exams. I have to get home tonight.” “I understand. Don’t stress it. Does, uh, Tony know about your home situation?” Daniel looked down at his sandwich. “Yes,” he mumbled. “But there’s a big meeting of donors coming up and there’s a lot to do.” “Right. You realise that this company has a very good reputation for supporting staff with family commitments, don’t you?” Daniel looked up, but his glum expression didn’t change. “Just saying that Tony should take them into account.” “I’m still on probation. There are plenty of people with kids and commitments here and they don’t ask for special treatment.” “Yes, but—” “Spen, please? I’m fine.” He stood and smiled, but there was no happiness behind it. “Tony’s a good boss. I want to do a good job. I’ll try and make it to the pub next week, okay?” “I’ll remind you. Daniel...if you....” “What?” “You know...need advice about how the place works. You can ask me. Or Jyoti. Any of us.” The smile was less tense this time. “Thanks. I’m fine, really. I have to go. You should see my desk.” “If you can see your desk, then you’re one ahead of me.” Daniel gave a little chuckle. “Uh, yeah, see what you mean. Thanks for the invitation. I wish I could...you understand.” “I do. Catch you around.” Daniel dumped the dregs of his tea and picked up his plastic lunch container. Kani

climbed up on his shoulder, Daniel gave Spen one last shy smile, then disappeared into the corridor. Myko ran after them. “Myko, no.” His kem turned to look, chirping a little. “No, squirt. He has to work.” Still Myko hesitated, so Spen went over and picked him up, nuzzling the top of Myko’s head with his chin. “Don’t worry. I’ll keep an eye on him, okay?” Myko trilled, affectionately wrapping his tail around Spen’s wrist. His kem’s trust and approval were lovely, but Spen wasn’t at all sure he knew what was going on here. One minute Noble was worried Daniel was burning out, next minute he had him working overtime on multiple nights. All the managers used overtime when they had big meetings and projects, so it wasn’t strange of Noble to do that. Just...the inconsistency. Maybe Spen was making something out of nothing, like Luke was prone to doing. He really was busy and if he wanted to get away on time himself, he should shift his butt. He wished Daniel could come along tonight. It would be good for him—but only if he wasn’t stressing about home. Still, now the subject had been broached, Spen could pry a little more out of the kid, see if he could do anything. He smiled ruefully. Now he was doing it—making it personal, like Luke. He couldn’t help it. Daniel had the touch of the lost puppy about him, yet he seemed determined to do it all by himself. Spen had worked with young people for too long not to be affected by that. Right now, Daniel was okay. Spen couldn’t do anything for him until he asked for help, which he might never do.

~~~~~~~~ “Mr Godwin? I’m Mr Noble’s assistant.” The pleasant-faced, sharply suited young man in the foyer stood and smiled at Daniel. “Julian, please. And you’re...?” “Daniel. Daniel Walkinshaw.” Julian held out his hand. “Nice to meet you, Daniel. This is Pyon,” he said. The black kem on his shoulder squeaked at the sound of his name. “This is Kani. Say hello, Kani.” Daniel’s kem jumped across from his shoulder onto Julian’s. Daniel reached out for him. “Gosh, I’m sorry—” “Don’t apologise. Pyon loves company, don’t you?” Pyon chirped and changed shoulders so he could perch precariously and cuddle Kani. Julian simply adjusted his stance to accommodate the lop-sided load. Daniel tried not to look as amazed as he felt. None of their other clients had been this relaxed. “So, shall we go meet your boss?” “This way.” Still bearing both kems, Julian followed Daniel to the lifts. “You’re new, aren’t

you?” he said as they waited. “I think when Leo...that’s my boss, Leo Underwood...first got me to look into this, someone called Jan was working for Tony.” “Yes, he left. I’ve been here two months. Still learning the ropes.” Though the thrilling question was, would he ever finish learning them? “I’m sure you’re doing fine.” They stepped into the empty elevator and Daniel pressed the button. “Kani’s a sweet little fellow, isn’t he?” Julian gave Kani a pat and earned an earlick. “Is he bothering you? I can—” “Oh, please don’t. He’s keeping Pyon out of mischief.” Pyon looked up and gave his human an indignant squeak. Julian laughed and stroked the swaying black tail. “Just teasing, brat. Here we are.” Daniel liked Julian, but he wasn’t the client—his boss was. Maybe the boss was a lot less pleasant, if he couldn’t even bother to come along and see where his money might be going. Daniel wondered if Julian liked his job and his boss, or if he wished he could be doing something completely different, like Daniel did, but couldn’t. At least not now. Daniel knocked at Tony’s door. “Mr Noble? Julian Godwin for you.” Tony stood, smiling broadly. “Oh, Julian, please do come in. Nice to meet you finally.” They shook hands. “Tea? Coffee? Water?” “Green tea would be nice if you have it.” “Daniel, would you?” Daniel left to fetch the tea. Rather to his surprise, Kani stayed put, grooming a quietly trilling Pyon as if his life depended on it. Nice for him to have someone new to play with. Kani didn’t like the office much, except when they visited IT. None of the office kems seemed inclined to play with him, though they weren’t as unfriendly as their humans were to Daniel. If it were possible, Daniel would have left Kani at the house, but to be honest, without Kani’s company and the occasional visits to Spen’s lair, Daniel would have gone a little crazy from loneliness by now. When he returned, Pyon and Kani had moved to the floor and were tumbling around in a play fight. The sides of Tony’s mouth were drawn down disapprovingly as he glanced at the kems. Daniel could have picked Kani up and asked him to behave, but Julian showed no signs of being bothered, listening with apparent attentiveness to Tony’s spiel about the company’s current projects. Daniel set the tea down on front of Julian on Tony’s desk and was about to leave when Tony broke off. “Ah, Daniel, would you stay please? I’d like you to liaise with Julian over Mr Underwood’s participation.” “Possible participation,” Julian said. “Leo’s very keen to invest in young people and start-up business, but he hasn’t made a decision. We’re looking into several options.”

“Yes, of course. Forgive the presumption. Sit down, Daniel, please.” Daniel obeyed, and immediately found himself with a lapful of kems. He gave them both scritches between the ears and Pyon trilled in delight. “He likes that, keep it up,” Julian stage-whispered. Daniel grinned and did so. Tony cleared his throat. “As I was saying, Julian, if Mr Underwood chose to work with our company, he would have the assurance of an organisation established over twenty years ago, with a national presence and a glowing international reputation. I personally bring ten years of investment experience, and I’ve won a number of awards for my achievements.” He swept his hand towards the wall where his certificates and trophies were displayed. Daniel knew them all by heart as he had to dust them every week. “Some of our so-called competitors haven’t been in business for more than three years.” “No, but I find it a bit strange that a company that specialises in startups would be so rude about other startups.” Julian smiled as he said it, but Tony’s expression grew even more strained. “Don’t worry. I’ll present all you’ve said to Leo and your proposal will receive fair consideration. If Leo wasn’t interested, I wouldn’t be here today.” Daniel almost sighed in relief. Losing Leo Underwood’s investment would be a slap in the face for Tony, as he’d been boasting about hooking “the big one” ever since Julian had arranged the appointment. “I appreciate that. If there’s any more information you need, or assistance, I or Daniel will be happy to provide it, any time at all. Daniel.” Daniel jerked up, wondering why Tony had said his name in that way, then realised Kani and Pyon had jumped up on Tony’s desk. Julian hadn’t made a move to stop his kem, so Daniel didn’t know what he should do. “Kani,” he said quietly. “Come down.” His kem ignored him. Pyon batted at Tony’s kinetic sculpture, making the balls swing back and forth. Kani sniffed at them, and then wandered off, apparently uninterested in them. “Daniel,” Tony said tightly. “Would you mind?” “Kani, please?” He reached out for his kem, but Kani dodged his hand, scampering across the desk—and straight for the teacup. Before Julian could save it or Daniel catch his errant kem, Kani hit the cup, sending it flying across the desk. Tony lifted his laptop out of the way of the slowly spreading tea. “Daniel!” His face was bright red with anger. Daniel made a grab for Kani and finally caught him. “Gosh, I’m sorry, let me—” “Look, I think I should go. Pyon,” Julian said, calmly picking up his kem. “I’ll show myself out.” “No, no. Daniel, please show Julian out while I’ll clean this up.” Tony picked up a

bundle of papers and shook them. Fortunately the cup was nearly empty but it was still a mess. Daniel made a run for it before Tony changed his mind. Julian appeared utterly unconcerned as Daniel joined him in the corridor. “I’m so sorry,” Daniel said. “Kani—” Julian smiled and shook his head. “It’s okay, honestly. You wouldn’t know it to look at him now, but Pyon could be a right little terror when he wanted to be. Still can, can’t you,” he added, nuzzling his kem’s head. “But Kani’s usually so well-behaved. It’s the first time he’s ever done something like this.” Julian frowned. “Really?” “I swear. He’s usually so quiet and good.” Kani squeaked, and despite the flipflops Daniel’s stomach was doing over what Tony would say when he came back, he petted his kem reassuringly. After all, he’d only been playing. “Huh.” Julian grew rather thoughtful. Daniel didn’t know how to take this. They rode down the elevator in silence, but when they arrived at the ground floor Daniel felt he had to try and put this right. “Look, Julian...you won’t let this influence your decision over investing, will you?” “Don’t be silly. Anyway, it’s not my decision. Leo doesn’t let mischievous kems decide how he spends his money.” Julian reached out and petted Kani. “He’s lovely. Don’t fret. I’m more worried about you and your boss.” Daniel tried to smile, but he couldn’t make it genuine. “I guess he’ll be cranky. He’s...um...not a big fan of kems.” “Really? What a stupid man.” Daniel gulped. “Look, don’t worry, okay? Now, before you go, I have a favour to ask. Can you take me to Spencer Reardon’s office? He’s expecting me.” Daniel’s anxiety express derailed. “You know Spen?” “Oh yeah. We go way back. I can ask someone else if—” “No, no, it’s fine. It’s in the basement. This way.”

Chapter 5 “Hey, Beanie.” Spen looked up and grinned at Julian, with Daniel hovering behind him. “Come in here, you ratbag. Where the hell have you been? That husband of yours keeping you locked in a cupboard?” Daniel’s eyebrows rose in surprise at the mention of a husband, but Julian’s smile only broadened. “Not the cupboard, Beanpole. Anyway, what’s wrong with you? Did your phone break at the wedding or something?” Spen held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, point taken. You’re looking fantastic. Nice suit.” Pyon had draped himself over Julian’s right shoulder like a scarf. The little guy looked as sleek and happy as Spen had ever seen him. “Birthday present from Leo. Er...sorry, Daniel. Don’t mean to hold you up.” “That’s okay,” Daniel said, misery clear in his voice. What had happened, Spen wondered. “You’re close friends?” “Since Uni,” Spen confirmed. “Haven’t seen him since he got married to Mr Gorgeous, though.” “That’s Mr Sexy and Gorgeous, thank you,” Julian purred. Spen couldn’t get over how much Julian had changed since university, or the luck of him hooking a fantastically good-looking, rich guy who adored Julian as much as Julian adored him. “You’ve got Rob, so you can’t talk.” “Er, no. Not any more. Not since not long after I saw you last, actually. That’s why I wasn’t in touch.” Jyoti was the only other person in the section just then, and though she already knew about Spen’s break up with his boyfriend, she still winced in sympathy. Daniel’s eyes went wide. Had he not realised Spen was gay? Did he have a problem with that? Spen guessed he’d find out soon enough. “Oh man, I’m sorry. I had no idea.” Julian’s brown eyes were full of sympathy. “I’d have called....” “Don’t stress, Jules. It wasn’t horrific. We just decided we wanted different things from life. Are you ready for lunch? You’re a little earlier than I was expecting.” Julian grimaced and behind him, Daniel made a face. “Uh, yeah. Pyon incited Daniel’s kem to riot and there was a small accident with a teacup and Tony’s desk. Time for me to run away. Maybe we should hide Daniel down here until his boss calms down.” “No, no...I should get back actually. Don’t want to make it worse. It was nice to meet you, Julian.” “You’d be welcome—” Spen started to say, but Daniel shook his head.

“No, you two need time to catch up. Thank you, though. Uh...bye.” Daniel left before Spen could think up an argument why he should stay. He shrugged. “Oh well. Come on, Jules. Jyoti?” “Got the conn, cap’n.” “Good woman.”

~~~~~~~~ Daniel was practically puking with stress by the time he knocked on Tony’s office door. “Come in,” Tony said. “Uh, Tony, look, I’m really so sorry about—” “Just have a seat, Daniel. Close the door.” Oh god, this was serious. He was about to be sacked, he knew it. “Can I just—” “No, hold on. I understand the...situation...with your kem wasn’t your fault. You’re not in trouble, so please relax.” Tony smiled, and Daniel’s stomach unclenched a little in relief. “However, as you notice, I don’t allow my kem to come out at work because there’s always the risk of such situations. It’s not the first time one of them has caused unwelcome disruption.” “Kani’s normally so good.” “I’m sure. But from now on, I want you to keep him out of sight while at work.” Kani squeaked in alarm, and Daniel patted his tail. “Shhh, it’s okay. Go inside, Kani.” With a miserable chirp, Kani obeyed. Daniel already felt colder. “Thank you,” Tony said. “You’re doing very well. If you continue to impress, there won’t be any problem about your passing your probation.” “Thanks. I want to do well.” “I’m sure. Your willingness to learn and try is an asset. So let’s not talk about this again. Oh, the quarterly figures from Head Office will be in after five, so I’ll need that presentation done tonight for the meeting Thursday.” “Tonight?” It was Alex’s birthday. Daniel had promised faithfully to be home on time, and he’d thought he was safe. The figures weren’t supposed to be coming in until tomorrow. “Um, it’s just....” Tony looked at him over his reading glasses. “You do realise this is a critical meeting, Daniel. I really don’t want you to let me down.” Daniel nodded, heart sinking. “I won’t. I just need to call home.” Tony shuffled some papers on his desk, his mind clearly on the next task. “Whatever you need. Could you find the Warbell file and bring it in?” Daniel got up to fetch it from his desk. Alex would never forgive him. Daniel would never forgive himself. But he didn’t dare risk making Tony angry over this, and

especially not when he’d overlooked what was probably a sacking offence. Alex would understand...eventually.

~~~~~~~~ Julian swallowed the chip he’d been eating. “So, tell me about the cute redhead who lights up like a Christmas tree when I say your name.” “He does not. That’s Daniel, our enigma. Genius level IQ, a year short of getting his bachelor’s degree, then his parents were killed in an accident.” “God, really? The poor kid.” Spen remembered then that Julian’s husband, Zachary, had also been orphaned. “Yeah. Left looking after two younger siblings, I think. I’m not exactly sure what his home situation is. Kid doesn’t talk about it.” “Whatever it is, he’s miserable. And I don’t like his boss.” “I don’t like his boss either, but he’s supposed to be good at massaging clients. Didn’t work on you? Maybe because you’re not the real money man?” “Oh, he did his best, but he’s patronising, and he doesn’t like kems. Zachary would write him off for that alone.” “It’s not a good sign, no.” Spen patted Myko, curled up asleep in his lap, his tail coiled around Pyon’s foot, as Julian’s kem lay on the seat between the two humans. “Daniel’s great at the job, but the job’s bad for him. I don’t know what to do.” Julian grinned as he picked up a bit of lettuce. “You’re already making him a rescue project. I recognise the symptoms.” “Hah, you’ve known him all of an hour and you’re taking an interest too. He just has that effect on people. Actually, Julian...there’s something else I want your advice on. About Noble and his past PAs....”

~~~~~~~~ Spen returned from lunch with Julian considerably more sombre and thoughtful than when he’d left. Julian understood his concern, and certainly didn’t think he was overreacting. He was adamant that he wanted to help—Daniel’s situation and his husband’s being so similar, he felt instinctively protective, he said—so Spen had told him what he knew. Julian said he would check some things out, and ask Zachary’s advice, as well as that of his boss, Leo Underwood. Spen thought well of both men, and thought it couldn’t hurt. But now he wished he hadn’t deterred Luke from sniffing around, because while Spen was friendly with a lot of the staff, he had never encouraged gossip or participated in it. Unfortunately, without actual facts or access to private HR files, gossip was all he had to go on. Well, almost all. Security logs showed that Daniel was still working overtime at least

three nights a week. Spen decided that he could do something about that at least. He called his mum and told her he’d probably be late home, then settled down to work on some non-urgent reports that he’d been avoiding. He’d set up an alarm to let him know if Daniel left the building. Five o’clock passed. Six o’clock passed, and the alarm didn’t trigger. At seven, Spen checked the logs, then stood. Daniel still hadn’t left. Time to carry out a little intervention, but first, he had to check there was any need for it. He strolled up to the security desk on the ground floor. “Hey, Bob, how’s it going?” Bob grinned, and ran his hand over his short grey curls. “Slow, man, slow. You’re here late. Someone blow up their computer again?” “Not tonight. At least, not that I know of.” Spen crossed his fingers exaggeratedly, and Bob laughed. “Can you do me a favour? I’ve got a report for Tony Noble, and I think he’s still in his office. Do you know if he is?” Bob was used to Spen occasionally asking him to find someone in the building— someone he was chasing to talk to, or a team member, so he showed no surprise at this request. He fiddled with the controls at his console, then leaned back. “Yeah, he’s in. That kid of his is there too. The ginger ninja.” Spen smiled at the description, but what he saw as he casually glanced at the monitor Bob indicated, was anything but amusing. Noble and Daniel were at Daniel’s desk. Daniel was seated, Noble leaning over Daniel in a way that would have got Spen slapped if he did it to a female employee—or even a male one. That was too damn close, and no way was it normal for an office interaction. Myko made a worried little noise when he saw Daniel. Spen kept a gentle hand on him to make sure he didn’t jump down for a closer look. “Thanks, Bob. I’ll just pop up and drop these off.” He waved the folder of reports he’d brought up as cover. “Do you keep those recordings? I can’t remember what they said when they installed them.” “Yeah. Have to, in case we have to call the police in. Didn’t used to, but now it’s all on some hard disk somewhere. I think they copy it off and store it. Don’t know the details. That’s your area, not mine.” “Only when they break, man. So don’t go breaking it. Catch you around.” Bob waved him off in a friendly fashion, hopefully unaware of Spen’s real purpose. He’d already picked up the newspaper he’d been reading when Spen interrupted, so Spen hoped he wouldn’t pay any attention to the monitors unless an alarm went off. Spen had no intention of doing anything to warrant an alarm, but the more discreetly this was handled, the better it would be for all concerned. There was no one about on the fifth floor that he could see, and all was quiet. The door to Daniel’s office was shut, but Spen didn’t knock. After all, he wasn’t supposed to

know Daniel was there. He threw the door opened, making the two men at the desk straighten up in shock. The reactions were tellingly different. Daniel was simply surprised, but Noble was angry too...and a little afraid? Spen played it casual. “Oh, hi, Daniel. Wasn’t expecting you to be here. Just had some reports for Tony, and thought I’d drop them off before I went home.” Noble snatched the folder from him. “Couldn’t this have waited, Spencer? Why on earth would you think I was around at this time of night?” He backed further away from Daniel, and Spen didn’t think he imagined the relaxation in Daniel’s features as he did so. Relaxation—and relief too. “Oh, I checked at Security.” Spen pointed casually up at the corner of the office’s ceiling. “The new system. The in-office cameras. Don’t you remember? Head Office authorised them after we had those laptop thefts.” “Ah, yes, of course.” Noble straightened up and cleared his throat. “Right. Fine. Thank you. Daniel, I think we’re finished here. You should get on home.” “Thanks, Tony. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Spen had never seen anyone logoff that fast before, and Daniel had picked up his coat and shot out of the office before Spen had a chance to offer to walk him out. Noble made a show of collecting papers from the desk, ignoring his departing PA and Spen. His lips thinned as he looked up and realised Spen was still there. “Anything else, Spencer?” Spen pretended he couldn’t hear the chill in Noble’s tone. “No. I should get home too. Don’t believe in overtime as a rule. Leads to burnout.” “Good night then. Don’t let me hold you up.” Spen grinned to himself as he made his way to the elevator, while Myko trilled in approval. Message delivered and point made, he hoped.

~~~~~~~~ Relieved beyond words at his unexpected early escape—and thanking Spen for prompting it, though it had been a rather odd thing to do—Daniel sprang for a taxi in the hope of getting back home even faster. Kani, allowed out once more, perched on his lap and gave constant squeaks of frustration as the taxi encountered red lights or slow drivers. Finally, they were at the house. Daniel ran up the path and flung the door open, startling his brother and sister in the living room. He immediately realised that however quickly he’d managed to return, it wasn’t fast enough. Alex gave him a cold stare before running out of the room, while Dee stood with her arms folded, her expression as sullen and angry as Daniel had ever seen it. “You promised.” “I know. I let you know, and I tried to—”

“Doesn’t matter. You promised. You said things would get better when you got this job, but it’s only got worse. We hardly see you in the evenings, and you’re so tired the rest of the time. It’s not worth it, Daniel.” She bit her lip, clearly fighting back tears, but when Daniel went to put his arm around her, she pulled back. “No. Go to Alex.” “I’m sorry, DeeDee. Did you have supper?” “Sort of. He was too upset to eat, and he didn’t want the ‘stupid cake’ I made for him.” The lip wobbled again. “Go!” Daniel went, because there was only one of him to go around two upset siblings. Alex was lying on his bed on his stomach, petting Veen. He didn’t look at Daniel as he came in. “Go away. I don’t want to talk to you.” “I know. Happy birthday anyway.” “Don’t be stupid. It sucked. You suck. This job sucks.” He rolled over and glared at Daniel with red eyes. “You don’t even need to work. Dee says there’s plenty of money in the bank.” Daniel sat on the end of the bed. “That’s got to cover a lot of things, Alex. You and Dee going to university, our bills, house repairs, emergencies—that kind of thing. It’s not that much, and there’s no more to come. Not for a while, anyway,” he amended, thinking of the protracted legal battles, and the obduracy of companies denying liability. “If I can’t look after you, then social services will have to take over. I have to prove I can manage.” “They won’t take us away. Not when you’re around.” “They might. I can’t risk that. Look, I’m really, really sorry. I let you down, and I knew you’d be mad at me. But we’ve been through worse, right? Got through it?” He reached out and stroked his brother’s carroty curls. “It’s just the three of us, kiddo. We can’t fight with each other.” “Can’t you find another job? You never said you’d have to work late all the time.” “I didn’t know. Give me a little while longer. Once I have a bit more experience, I can apply for other jobs.” “I wish I was older, then I could get a job instead.” Daniel ruffled his hair and tried to smile. “I wish you were too. You’d be better than me, I bet. Um...Dee has a cake.” “Don’t want anything. Not hungry.” “Alex, she’s crying. I know it’s my fault, but I don’t know what to do. It would mean a lot to me if you came downstairs and helped me cheer her up.” “You spoiled my birthday.” “It’s not over, though. And I’m home now. Can we have some cake and see if that helps? I’ve got a birthday present for you somewhere.” Alex’s mouth moved as if he was about to say he didn’t want any stupid present, but

he didn’t actually say it. “Please?” “Okay. But I still hate your job.” “I don’t like it much either. We just have to hang on a little longer. We can do it, if we do it together.” Alex screwed up his face. “You sound like a TV commercial.” Daniel grinned. “Sorry. Come on. I’m starving.” Kani squeaked. “So is he.” He reached over to hug his brother. To his relief, Alex let him. “We’ll get through this, Alex. Just hold on.” “It’s so hard. I miss Mum and Dad.” “Me too. All the time.” He kissed his brother’s head. “But at least I have you and Dee.” Kani chirped and leapt up onto Alex’s shoulder to lick one side of his face, while Veen nibbled Alex’s ear on the other side. “And you too, fuzzballs.”

Chapter 6 Spen kept a close eye on the security logs for the next two weeks, and enjoyed a little burst of satisfaction every time he saw Daniel’s ID register his departure by six every evening—sometimes even as early as five. He wondered how Noble explained the sudden drop off in overtime requests to Daniel. Maybe he hadn’t bothered, expecting his PA to accept management oddities as part of the job. Spen didn’t really care so long as Daniel wasn’t being pressured into working long hours and being perved over by a creepy boss. The other change in behaviour he did care about, since it meant Daniel no longer came down to IT, limiting his communications to email and rare phone calls. Spen didn’t know if it was by Noball’s orders, or whether Daniel was angry about his intervention. He figured eventually he’d find out, since the Cross-Channel project was still on-going, and likely to be rolled out across all their offices after the national conference. Unless Noble handed it off to someone else—which, Spen judged, an egotist like him would never do—he would have to keep working with IT, and since Noble was still technologically inept, he would need Daniel’s help. Spen gave it another week before Noble stopped sulking, and he doubted Daniel’s gentle personality could sustain rage for anything like that long. The emails and calls were polite enough, so no change there. Maybe he’d make another attempt to entice Daniel out to the Friday pub night soon, now he couldn’t use the overtime as an excuse. The chance to have a drink and a chat came sooner than Spen expected. He left a little later than planned on Tuesday and almost knocked Daniel over as he came around the corner from the stairs. “There he is. Hello stranger.” Daniel’s big green eyes stared wildly, not really seeing him at all. “Daniel? What’s wrong?” “I can’t...just leave me....” He pushed past Spen and bolted for the men’s toilet. Sensing it wasn’t a sudden bout of nausea which had sent him running, Spen gave chase. He found Daniel sitting on the floor at the far end of the room, next to a urinal. “Hey, kid, you can’t sit there. It’s dirty.” “Don’t care.” He looked up at Spen, his face glistening with tears. “Leave me alone.” “No, don’t think so.” Spen crouched down and hoped like hell no one else would come in. “Did something happen? Something at home? Tony get mad about something?” “I can’t...you wouldn’t understand. I just have to...but I can’t.” Spen frowned at him, then stood, pulled some paper off the roll and wet it. He crouched again and handed the wetted towel to Daniel. “Wipe your face, then stand up. You need to get out of here. Well away from here.” Daniel obeyed, accepted Spen’s help to stand up, and threw the screwed up towel at the bin with unnecessary force. “I’m okay now,” he said, voice as flat as a computer

simulation. “Yeah, right. Look, do you have time for a quick drink? We can talk.” Daniel’s eyes darted about in panic. “I can’t...I have to get home.” “Half an hour? Give them a call? Daniel, I’m worried about you.” “Half an hour?” “An hour max. Just call who you need to.” He shook his head. “It’s okay. They don’t count on me being home early any more.” Spen didn’t comment on that, though he could strangle bloody Tony Noble. “Come on, it’s only around the corner.” Wednesdays were quiet in their local. It was usually quiet anyway, being more of a lunchtime crowd type of place. “Do you drink? Want a beer? My shout.” Daniel looked about to protest, then his shoulders slumped in defeat. “Half of bitter, please.” Spen ordered the same, and some crisps to soak it up. He guided Daniel over to a corner and made him sit. “Where’s Kani?” “Kani? Oh...here.” A grey head suddenly popped out of the middle of Daniel’s chest, and gave an interrogative chirp. “It’s okay, you can come out now.” Kani jumped out and onto the table, taking a sniff at Daniel’s beer glass. Daniel stroked him gently, though rather distractedly. “What’s going on? Why are you keeping Kani out of sight? And drink that. You look like you need it.” Daniel took a sip, then a longer slurp. “Tony told me to keep Kani inside at work. Says it’s unprofessional.” He said it as if it was of no importance, but his eyes went red again. Kani gave an indignant squeak, even stamping his little feet to make the point. “He’s the only person in the whole damn office who thinks that. That’s unreasonable, and unfair on Kani.” “Yeah. But he’s my boss. I can’t lose my job over that. Only I’m going to lose it anyway.” Spen opened the crisps and set the bag in front of Daniel. “Eat those, and drink that beer. No way is Tony going to fire you. You’re too good at your job.” Daniel picked at the crisps but didn’t eat one. Kani snuffled about in the packet, then stuck his nose in Daniel’s beer. Daniel waved him off and took another long slurp. “He’s going to fire me because I can’t go to the national conference. He says I have to go to it or it’s my job.” Spen blinked. “Wait a bloody minute. He can’t say things like that. You told him why? Is it your family? Does he know about that?” “He knows. I thought he understood.”

“Understood what, exactly?” “I’m...sole guardian for my brother and sister. She’s sixteen. He just turned eleven. Mum and Dad...died. Last year, in an accident.” “I’m sorry. That’s a lot to handle.” “Yeah.” Daniel’s voice still held no passion or anger, just a dull misery that made Spen ache to hear. “I can’t leave them on their own for a week. There’s no one I can ask to look after them. No one I would trust. Dee might cope on her own, but not with Alex, and it would be a shitty thing to do to them anyway. They get so lonely.” He looked up, and added quietly, “We all do.” “No, you can’t leave them. Tony can’t force you to either. It’s totally against company regulations, and you should tell him that. Tell HR too.” “No, no, I can’t.” For the first time, he became a little animated, his cheeks flushing. “I can’t lose this job. I’m still on probation. He can fire me at will, no need for a reason, though I’m sure he has plenty of reasons he can come up with. He could even use what happened with Kani and Julian.” “If he tries that, Julian’s boss will eat him alive.” “Maybe, but I’ll still be gone. I need this job, Spen. If I push back, I’ll still end up losing it, only with a worse reference than what he’ll give me anyway. I’m so fucked.” He finished his beer in a long swallow. Spen silently pushed over his untouched glass. “Thanks. Look, I appreciate the concern, but I don’t have a choice in this. You can’t help. I’ll have to tell him no, and then I’ll have to leave. My family are everything to me. I’m all they have.” He rubbed his eyes. “God, Mum and Dad would be ashamed of me not coping with this.” “I think they’d be proud as hell of you, and furious with Tony, who’s an A-grade prick. He can’t give you a bad reference because you complained to HR.” “Want to bet? I don’t have any work experience outside this. I mean, usable experience. All he has to do is write a bland, unenthusiastic reference and the message will get through. I don’t have an employment record to set against it.” “You’ve got amazing IT skills, though.” “But no degree. That’s why it took forever to get this job. I’m still amazed I got it, considering. Now I’m going to lose it anyway.” “There’s really no one you can ask to help? No relatives? Friends?” “No.” Daniel started on Spen’s glass, staring down at the table and Kani patting a crisp without really seeing either. “Mum was an only child, and Dad’s sister lives overseas. Aunt Lisa offered to have us move out to her but I thought it would be too much for us to deal with. Our grandparents live on the other side of the country, and they’re both frail. Grandma had a minor heart attack when she heard the news about the

accident, and then Granddad was diagnosed with cancer two months later. They want to help but....” “You don’t want to put any pressure on them.” “Yes, exactly. Besides, Dee’s about to sit exams. I can’t uproot her to send her to stay with them. No one else lives close, and people...well, let’s just say we weren’t exactly deluged with offers to help,” he said bitterly. “Maybe I could hire a nanny or something? Do they have people like that for older kids? But it would have to be someone Dee and Alex liked, or it would be worse than nothing. There’s no time to organise it.” “I’d offer to help, but I’m going to that stupid conference too...hang on.” “What?” “Where do you live?” Daniel named a suburb not that far from Spen’s parents’ house—a fifteen-minute bus ride at most, less in a car. “Why do you want to know?” “Because my mum’s a teacher—” “Aren’t you lucky.” Spen ignored the uncharacteristic sarcasm. “No, you’re lucky, I hope. Were you serious that Dee and Alex don’t expect you home early?” Daniel frowned in confusion. “Mostly, though I should call them soon. Why?” “Because I think you need to meet my parents. They might be the answer to your problem.” “Spen, that’s nice of you but I can’t—” Spen held up his hand. “Yes, you can. Unless you really want to start job hunting again?” “No, but—” “Then drink up, go wash your face, and I’ll call Mum.”

~~~~~~~~ An hour later, Daniel could barely remember the utter despair which had swamped him after the terse, unfriendly conversation with his boss just before he’d left work. Like a force of nature, Spen had swept him up and carried Daniel along in his own optimism, depositing him in the warm, friendly kitchen of his warm and friendly parents. Spen’s mother had barely let her son explain Daniel’s dilemma before exclaiming, “Well, that’s easy, child. Why can’t we keep an eye on them while you’re away?” “Mrs Reardon, you don’t even know us.” “Of course I don’t, but that’s easily fixed. You and Spencer go fetch your brother and sister and we can talk about this. Good heavens, Daniel. You’ve been struggling on your own all this time? You poor children.” She stroked his hair, and a few tears leaked

out in sorrow as he remembered his own mother doing the same thing. “Now, don’t cry, dear. Have you had supper? Have they? Then you call them right now and invite them over. Spencer, you and Daniel take the car.” “Yes, Mum,” Spen had said, grinning at Daniel. “Go on, call them.” Daniel had, and fifteen minutes later, they were at Daniel’s house. Alex threw open the door, and took in the entire length of Spen’s figure. Veen bounced up and down in excitement on his shoulder. “Gosh, you’re....” “Black?” Spen said, winking at Daniel who was both horrified and close to laughing out loud. “Enormous!” Alex exclaimed. “Dee! You won’t believe this!” “Alex, don’t be rude,” Daniel chided. “Dee? Are you ready?” She came running down the hall but stopped short when she saw Spen. “Wow. I wish I was that tall.” “Spen, this is my sister, Dee,” Daniel said. “Who usually has more manners.” She made a face at him. “Everything locked up?” “Yes, and the stove’s off, so don’t worry. Are you all huge in your family?” she asked Spen. “I’m a bit of a freak,” Spen said, apparently not bothered at all by the kids’ obsession with his height, “but we’re all pretty tall. Hope you’re hungry. Mum was unloading the freezer when we left and I think she thinks there are ten of you.” “I’m starving,” Alex said. Daniel ruffled his hair. “You’re always starving.” “I’m a growing boy. Oooh, he’s cute.” For a startled moment, Daniel thought his brother meant Spen, but then realised that he’d spotted Myko. “Yes, he is, but we can make introductions later. We don’t want to keep the Reardons waiting.” “This way,” Spen said, leading Dee and Alex to the car while Daniel locked the front door. Daniel didn’t want to stop and think about all this because then he’d be overcome with embarrassment and find a way of talking himself out of the answer to his problem. He had to resist that because this could be so good for Dee and Alex. Their excitement was a sign of just how limited their lives had become since their parents had died. To be able to share the burden for even a few days...it was selfish to impose on a stranger, but Mrs Reardon had been so instantly likeable, he couldn’t resist. He didn’t want to resist. He held his breath as Spen ushered Dee and Alex into his mother’s kitchen. This wouldn’t work if they didn’t like her or trust her. Dee hesitated as she entered the room, taking it all in and looking worried. Mrs Reardon smiled. “Come in, dear. We don’t bite. At least, not since Spen was six, we haven’t.”

Spen smiled seraphically at the reminder of past misdeeds. Daniel had trouble imagining him ever biting anyone, even at six years old. Dee grinned. “Alex bit me when he was eight.” “Did not!” “You so did. Mum had to put a bandage on my arm.” “It was an accident. My teeth slipped.” Daniel’s face hurt from hiding his amusement. Spen looked at Dee. Dee looked at Mrs Reardon. They all looked at Alex, turning red. “Well, dear, I hope your teeth are under control now,” Mrs Reardon said, her voice shaking a little from suppressed laughter. “Care to apply them to a steak and kidney pie?” Alex glanced sideways at her. “Does it have mushrooms? I don’t like mushrooms.” “No mushrooms,” Mr Reardon said. “They’re the work of the devil and make my bowels unhappy.” His wife tsked. “Richard, don’t mention your bowels in my kitchen, or you’ll put us all off our food. Alex, there are no mushrooms in it, but if you don’t like the pie, I can find something else.” “The pie’ll be fine, Mrs Reardon.” Daniel gently shoved his brother towards the table. “Come on, squirt. I thought you were starving.” “I am!” Mrs Reardon’s wonderful savoury pie—and Mr Reardon’s fruit salad for dessert— destroyed any lingering hesitation, not that Daniel had seen much from his siblings. Dee was delighted to have a sympathetic adult to talk to about her impending exams, and listened appreciatively to Mrs Reardon’s advice on the subject. Mr Reardon and Alex discovered a mutual love of building model engines, and spent much of the meal off in a world of their own. Daniel and Spen were the only ones who had trouble finding something to talk about. Daniel didn’t want to discuss work or his boss, or Spen’s obvious disapproval of Tony, and Spen was thankfully too tactful to raise it himself in front of the kids. The truth was, there were lots of things Daniel wanted to talk to Spen about, but his tongue tangled up every time Spen turned his kind eyes on him. His crush had only grown worse in the weeks since Daniel had met the man, and with this unexpected act of generosity towards Daniel and his siblings, it now threatened to turn into full-blown hero worship. Spen was everything Daniel could ever hope to be. He wished so much that circumstances had allowed them to meet as equals, instead of as a bumbling newcomer desperately trying to find his feet with the help of a calm, successful professional. Daniel’s boss was the only person at work he’d told about his home situation before, and that was only to explain why he hadn’t finished his degree. He hadn’t wanted people to

see him as a charity case, but he hadn’t had much choice once Spen had cornered him. Now Spen would just view him as a nice but helpless kid in need of rescue, and not as a potentially attractive adult. Not that Daniel had had much hope of catching Spen’s eye in the first place. “Is your house the one your parents owned?” Spen asked as they helped clear the plates. “Yes. We all grew up there, and moving was more hassle than we could deal with. You’ve always lived at home?” Daniel flushed, wondering if that was too personal a question, but it was out now. “Oh no, only since I broke up with Robert a few months back. I was living in his apartment until then.” Alex’s head swivelled. “Are you gay, Spen?” Dee smacked his arm. “What?” he said, giving Dee a hurt look. “Mum said there was nothing wrong with being gay. Daniel is.” Daniel closed his eyes and prayed to disappear into the floor. Even Kani meeped and went inside in sheer self-defence. “Yes, I’m gay,” Spen said casually. “And of course there’s nothing wrong with it. Are you gay, Alex?” “I don’t think so,” Alex said thoughtfully. “How can you tell?” Mr and Mrs Reardon, smiling benevolently, kept quiet through all this, letting the young people handle things. Daniel relaxed a little. They didn’t have a problem, at least. “Maybe we can talk about that later,” Daniel suggested. “It’s nearly nine. Spen and I have to work tomorrow and you have school.” “Wish I didn’t,” Alex grumbled. “Can’t wait until the long hols.” “Only a few more weeks,” Daniel said. “Help us finish clearing, and then if Spen could give us a lift back?” “You go now, dear,” Mrs Reardon said. “We’ll sort this out. Now, we’ll finalise things over the next few days but I’m happy for Dee and Alex to stay here, or I can pop over in the evenings. In any event, they’ll have us as an emergency contact, or even if they’re just a bit lonely in the evenings and want some company.” Daniel took her hand. “You’re a lifesaver. Thank you so much.” “Not at all, child. It’s a pleasure. You’re all so lovely, and it’s such a shame what happened. I want to help. We all do.” Spen came up behind Daniel and put his hand on his shoulder. “Yeah, we do. I just wish I was going to be around. Looks like I’ll have to babysit you at the conference instead.” Daniel’s face felt hot enough to convert water into steam. “I don’t need a babysitter,”

he muttered. “Then you can babysit me. Okay, kids, got your coats and kems? I won’t be long, Mum. Thanks.” Spen kissed her cheek, and she hugged him. The stone in Daniel’s chest got a little more painful and cold. Their relationship was so like Daniel’s had been with his parents. Would he ever be over losing the two of them? Spen shooed Dee and Alex down the hall, but as Daniel followed them, Spen put his hand back on his shoulder. “Must be hard,” he said quietly. “I wouldn’t be able to bear losing mine.” Daniel turned and looked up at Spen’s face through tear-blurred vision. “Sometimes I don’t think I can either.” Spen squeezed his shoulder. “You’re strong. You’ll make it.” Daniel tried to smile. “Thanks.” “You’re welcome. Come on, let’s get you all home.”

~~~~~~~~ Dee and Alex chattered happily to Spen as he drove, but even with answering their cheerful questions and concentrating on the road, Spen was conscious of Daniel’s silence as he sat slumped in the front passenger seat, staring blank-eyed out the window. Now Spen had seen how close to the surface his misery was, no matter how good Daniel was at hiding it, he was sorry he hadn’t found a chance to somehow bring up Daniel’s home situation before. But maybe Daniel wouldn’t have thanked him for exposing his sorrow. The wonder of it was how well they all coped. Dee and Alex were so normal, so ready to accept happiness, and even though Daniel obviously carried the greatest burden, he did so with grace Spen doubted he could have managed. But that grace wouldn’t be enough unless Spen—or someone with more power than he had—pulled that bastard Noble off Daniel’s back. Sure, it looked like this crisis could be managed, but if Noball was prepared to pull a dirty stunt like threaten Daniel’s job over attending a conference, then there was no limit to what he might try. Spen had also noticed that Daniel hadn’t mentioned Spen’s ‘accidental’ interruption of Noble’s late night activities, nor had shown any resentment over it. Maybe Daniel would never come right out and thank Spen for it, but it looked more and more as if Spen’s intervention hadn’t been unwelcome—at least by Daniel. He really needed to involve HR but without Daniel’s cooperation, there would be little point. Maybe Spen could work on him while at the conference. “Here we are,” he said, pulling into a space in front of Daniel’s house. Daniel roused. “Oh. Thank you, Spen. I can’t tell you how grateful I am.” “It’s a pleasure, honest.” Dee and Alex thanked him too, then ran up the path to the house. Lights went on

seconds later. Daniel went to open his door, but Spen said, “Hold on a sec.” Daniel looked at him, puzzled. “They’ll be asking who wants to share rooms at the conference. If you don’t want to share with Tony, I haven’t arranged anything yet.” In the light from the street lamp, Daniel’s expression slid rapidly from surprise to relief. “Oh. I’d like that, if you wouldn’t mind.” “Of course not. I hate these damn things and at least I won’t have to worry about some boring junior manager sharing with me.” Daniel smiled a little. “You know...you can ask for help. It’s not a sign of weakness.” “I didn’t have anyone to ask before. I got used to...you know...not asking.” “Now you have me. And my parents.” “Yes. Thank you.” “You’re welcome. Oh, and Kani can play in IT anytime. Don’t keep him locked away all day. Kems hate that.” “I know. I’ll send him down. I know he’ll love it.” “So will we. Sleep well, and no more stressing about Tony fucking Noble.” Daniel gave him the first truly happy smile of the night. “No more stressing, I promise. ‘Night, Spen.” Spen watched him walk up the path, and waited until the porch light went out. It probably wasn’t a good idea to encourage the warm glow of happiness that encounters with Daniel so often gave him. If there was one thing that kid didn’t need, it was another ‘admirer’. But there was nothing wrong with feeling glad he could help, or the righteous pleasure at stuffing Tony Noble’s greasy tactics, so Spen would enjoy those without guilt. With any luck, he’d have the satisfaction of watching Daniel grow in confidence, and move on from working for Noble into a job more suited to his talents and intelligence. Spen sighed and started the engine. Myko popped out to chirp quietly in concern. Spen patted his head. “I’m okay, fuzzball. We don’t always get what we want, right?” Myko squeaked and rubbed against Spen’s hand. Nice to have someone who understood, and who would always keep his secrets.

Chapter 7 Two weeks earlier, Daniel had had no prospect of enjoying his enforced attendance at the company’s national conference. Even this afternoon, as he said goodbye to Dee and Alex after he and Spen left them at the Reardons’ house, he couldn’t muster any more than resignation as he contemplated a week in a dull chain hotel, stuck making presentations and handouts for Tony, and sleeping in what would probably be a hard and uncomfortable bed. He’d stayed in a couple of similar hotels on family holidays, and the novelty had long since worn off. But now, sitting across from Spen on the train heading north, he felt something close to cheerful. Dee and Alex were in safe, kind hands—and in the care of people who would make sure their schoolwork wouldn’t suffer. Spen’s offer to share a room had given Daniel a perfect answer to Tony’s assumption that he and Daniel would be sharing. And now he had the company of a man he liked a lot, maybe more than he should, and a break of sorts from the grind of the office, and the disapproval of the other PAs. “The only part about this I’m looking forward to is the food,” Spen said, pulling a face at the train’s approximation of coffee. Daniel hadn’t even bothered, sticking to fruit juice. “The expense budget is pretty generous. Just watch out for the boozers. Some of the managers drink like camels.” “I can’t imagine what could induce me to want to drink with anyone except you.” Spen grinned at Daniel’s declaration. “Oh you know what I mean.” “I do. They’re not all bad. The IT guys from Northern are fun, so long as I don’t spend too long around them. I’m too old for that kind of thing now.” Daniel lifted an eyebrow at that statement. “No, it’s true. I like a quiet pint or two. That was one of the things that did for me and my ex. He was a party animal. Me, not so much.” “You were together a while, though?” “Four years. I still care a lot about him. He’s a good guy, smart. But he didn’t want to settle down, and I got tired of acting like a kid.” “Not every kid drinks until they puke.” “What, never?” Daniel’s face grew warm. “Maybe once,” he mumbled. “But I don’t like being drunk. I really hate hangovers. Such a waste of study time.” Spen’s grin slipped a little. “Are you planning to go back to the degree when things settle down?” Daniel shrugged, but tried not to let the pain in his chest show in his expression. “Maybe. Might take a while. I can’t go back to where I was enrolled, not while Alex is still young. They need me at home. The degree’s not important, set against everything

else. If the prosecution is ever finished, the lawsuit is over, we win a payout, Dee gets through her exams, and Alex finishes school.... My study’s pretty low down the list.” “So you keep working for Tony Noble or someone like him, when you could be working on power stations and water treatment plants and...what is it you guys build?” “Just about everything,” Daniel admitted, the pain growing sharper. “Yes, if I have to. At least until Dee and Alex are independent. I’m their parent now. Their needs come first.” “Yes, I know.” Spen smiled at him, a thousand watts of kindness that shone on the hidden stone in Daniel’s chest and warmed it a little. “You’re quietly amazing.” “You’d do the same for your brothers.” “Maybe. But I’m the youngest, so it wouldn’t come up. It’s not just that you’re doing it, it’s that you’re doing it so well. Dee and Alex are so well-adjusted.” Thinking back to a month ago and Alex’s miserable birthday, Daniel couldn’t agree. “Mum and Dad did all that. I’ve had it easy.” “And you could still have fucked it up. Give yourself credit, kid.” “If you insist.” Spen smiled again and shook his head. It was nice to have someone who thought so well of him, but Daniel didn’t like praise for what he couldn’t claim proper credit for. Still, it wasn’t worth arguing about. “We’ll be there in ten minutes.” “Then countdown until we can escape. Why can’t they have this damn thing somewhere warm, and by a beach?” “Because we’d all skive off and not do any work?” “See? Told you that you were smart.” Daniel rolled his eyes. Yes, if he had to be here against his will, he could be worse off than in Spen’s company. It might even be fun. He wasn’t sure if he remembered what fun was like, but he hoped he’d know it if he had the chance.

~~~~~~~~ He was right about the bed, and the room was as bland and uninspiring as he’d expected. But there was more space than he expected, plenty of room for their bags, and fast internet access, which was all he needed. Tony wouldn’t arrive until late that evening, so tonight was a little like a holiday—at least Spen decided to make it one. He encouraged Daniel to explore the hotel’s dinner menu and not worry about the cost —“You won’t be able to come up to half of what some of the managers will spend, so enjoy”—and enjoyed a pint of decent beer with him. Later, after they’d showered and Daniel had called Dee as he’d promised to do every night, Spen chose a science fiction movie from the subscription channel. They watched it lying on their beds in their underwear, while the two kems curled up on Daniel’s

stomach, disdaining any entertainment than each other. The two humans spent the next two hours cheerfully picking apart the bad science and logical idiocies, while Daniel gained a new appreciation of just how big a nerd Spen was. “It’s ridiculous,” Daniel said as the movie ended. “You can’t reverse engineer an alien operating system or write a virus when you don’t even share an alphabet or numbering system.” “No, wait, you’re forgetting the secret government research.” Daniel looked at Spen with maximum scepticism. “Remember that throwaway line about whathisface spending years looking through the archives when he had clearance. So if you assume the government had its best and brightest working on translating the alien data and decoding the systems—” “A big ‘if’, Spen.” “Oh come on. What else would they be doing with it?” “Scratching their heads and wondering where to start? Where’s your Rosetta Stone? How do you start?” “What if the aliens were studying us and had begun to translate one Earth language into their own?” “So...in your theory, even if there was a usable dictionary, and by some miracle our hero had a comprehensive understanding of the operating system, he still has to get past the security system of a culture capable of building force fields and organic spaceship, and somehow discover and exploit a weakness in an as yet unknown routine, one which has to be critical for the power generation of this hitherto invulnerable vehicle.” Daniel folded his arms and dared Spen to rebut his argument. “It’s utterly implausible.” “I never said it was easy.” Daniel hooted in derision. Spen pretended to be offended. “Hey, I wrote a paper on it at University.” “You wrote a paper on this movie.” “Well, yeah. The lecturer told us to analyse the use of IT in popular culture and discuss the plausibility of techniques and solutions. I got an A.” “You win. No one is nerdier that you.” Spen punched the air. “Yay, I win. Wouldn’t that be the coolest job in the world? Decoding alien programming?” “No, building alien spaceships would be the coolest.” “You build the spaceship, I’ll write the code.” “Deal,” Daniel agreed. The pang was still there, but, relaxed and comfortable with two kems steadily sending out gentle pulses of affection, he didn’t feel the hurt as much as he normally would. Maybe one day it wouldn’t hurt at all. Spen yawned. “Okay, that’s my limit. I’m going to order breakfast to be delivered

and I suggest you do too. You don’t want to be ambushed by corporate types before you’ve had your coffee.” “Good idea.” “You fill out the card while I use the loo, then I’ll stick it outside. Myko?” His kem gave a delicate yawn of his own, but declined to move. “Lazy brat,” Spen said, grinning as he reached down and scratched behind his kem’s ears. “He likes you.” “It’s mutual. Kani likes him even better than Veen or Lili. Weird.” “Yeah. Kems are a mystery.” Spen tossed the breakfast card over to him. “There. Go wild.” “So much excitement for one day. Can I bear it?” “You’ll survive.” Daniel suppressed a sigh of admiration at the sight of the long, smooth-skinned back as Spen disappeared into the bathroom. It was a little like sharing a room back at Uni with Asif, something Daniel missed along with so many other things. But though Asif was handsome and attractive in a totally straight way, Daniel had been too caught up in his studies to be distracted by unrequited lust. Even now, his many worries tended to keep his libido well below nuisance levels. Didn’t stop him wishing, in full knowledge of how hopeless it was, that Spen would see him differently, or that they had started a friendship outside work. When he returned from cleaning his teeth, Myko and Kani had decamped to Spen’s bed. “Fickle,” he muttered. Kani chirped and flicked his tail, but stayed right where he was on Spen’s chest. “Fine, you made your bed, now you lie on him.” Spen grinned at him around the ball of fur. “Do you get the feeling we’re being played?” “I think we could be. Good night, Spen.” “Sleep well, Daniel.” He might even do that.

~~~~~~~~ Daniel had reason to be glad of that lazy evening come Monday morning. Tony called while they were still eating breakfast, and gave Daniel half an hour to finish his meal, shower, dress, and come to his room on the floor above. From then until six that evening, he didn’t have a moment to call his own. Even lunch was spent listening to Tony network with his fellow managers, so he could help Tony fine tune his handouts for the big presentation about Cross-Channel on Wednesday afternoon. The rest of the time he had to help Tony rehearse his talk and slide timing, prepare additional graphs and graphics, run back and forth to the printers two blocks from the hotel to order and collect materials for the audience, and somehow also handle the usual office emails, calls and

enquiries because Tony was adamant that his door was never closed. Telling the clients he was “away” was unacceptable. Daniel had his own presentation to give jointly with Spen on the day after Tony’s, on some of the practical issues of the national rollout of Cross-Channel. He wasn’t nervous —it wasn’t any more challenging than delivering a paper to his class, and Spen would handle the hard stuff—but there were materials to print for that as well. Tony had insisted on leaving it all to the very last minute so it could be as up-to-date and relevant as possible. Spen, unsurprisingly, had not been complimentary about that plan. Daniel personally tried not to dwell on whether Tony was effective at his job or not, because he was afraid that if he went down that line of thinking, his discontent with his job would grow to the point where it was impossible to continue. He chose to concentrate on his own tasks and performing them to the limit of his ability. Spen had the luxury of criticism. Daniel didn’t. Finally Tony set him free so he could wine and dine with the national office people —Daniel was far too lowly to attend, much to his relief. Spen found him in the foyer and announced, “Room service”, in a tone that brooked no argument. Not that Daniel had one to offer, or wanted one. Spen had, through his regional colleagues, obtained copies of two hard to find films Daniel had mentioned wishing he had seen—Spen waved the thumb drive in triumph as they rode the elevator up to their floor. They ate their room service supper while sitting cross-legged on Spen’s bed, watching the first film on his laptop. The kems delivered their verdict on the entertainment by refusing to sit still, romping around the room, returning to one or other of the humans’ laps for cuddles and scritches, before heading off to explore the bathroom or the closet again. “Good special effects,” Daniel said politely. “Yeah, but crap acting and toilet paper plot. It’s okay. The second one is awesome. You just need to see the first one for set up.” Spen cracked his spine. The position was more awkward for him because of his greater height, forcing him to hunch over the computer. “You comfortable there? You can lie down. There’s room for two. I’ll keep my hands to myself, I swear.” Daniel saw his face slowly turn scarlet in the mirror on the wall opposite him. “Um...okay. Just let me...wash my face.” He splashed cold water on his burning skin until the colour turned back to its usual paleness. Spen had an advantage in that way—even if he was prone to blushing, which he probably wasn’t, every passing mood or embarrassment didn’t show itself on his dark face the way it did on Daniel’s. Oh God. There was no way to refuse Spen’s innocent invitation without looking as if Daniel was reading much more into it than there was, but was his self-control up to it?

Would Spen even care if it wasn’t? Fortunately Kani came to his rescue. The little nuisance, after behaving like a terror during the first movie, lay demurely on Daniel’s lap all through the second one, and didn’t move even when Myko joined him from time to time. Daniel gave him lots of petting and scritches in gratitude, and was able to concentrate on the film—which was, as promised, much better than the first—rather than on Spen. He could even feel comfortable stretched out next to Spen like this, almost like he would if he was watching a movie with Alex. Almost. Spen’s long legs and endearingly enormous feet distracted Daniel more than they should have. But he didn’t disgrace or embarrass himself, and managed to enjoy the movie in all its mindless theatrics. The plot was beyond absurd, but the pace was fast enough that it hardly mattered. “High concept to the max,” Spen rightly summarised. “Good fun though. Another?” Daniel took the chance to gracefully escape from the heavenly torment of Spen’s bed. “I’d love to, but Tony’s going to be at me first thing again.” “Tell him to fuck off. You don’t start at eight in the office.” “Right, and after that I won’t have to worry about starting at all. You’d love it if Luke or Jyoti told you to screw off.” Spen grinned. “They do it half a dozen times a day. But then I have a sense of humour and Noball doesn’t.” “Oh thanks. Now I have to look at him with a straight face and remember you calling him that.” Spen made a little bow. “You’re welcome. You should lighten up, Danny.” Daniel growled. “I’ll lighten up when the world stops sucking.” Spen sat up, and his expression turned suddenly serious. “Did it suck tonight?” “No. No, it didn’t. Thank you. You know what I mean, though.” “Yes, I do. I can’t fix the rest of it, but if I can give you a little break from the misery sometimes....” Daniel turned away a little to hide the effect Spen’s kind words—the warmth in his eyes—had on him. He did not want to cry in front of him again. “Thanks. I’ll use the bathroom, if you want to fill out the breakfast card, okay?” He hurried off before his voice betrayed him. Damn it, Spen was so bad for his control in so many ways. But without Spen, Daniel didn’t know that he would cope at all right now.

Chapter 8 When Daniel’s mobile went off again as they were eating breakfast, Spen cursed Tony Noble in his mind a lot more fluently than he dared let fly in front of Daniel. Not that his feelings were a secret, but it made Daniel’s job more difficult, and wasn’t very professional either. He considered Noble to be abusing the privilege of having his PA at the conference, and treating Daniel disrespectfully. Ironically, Spen’s regard for Daniel stopped him complaining to Noble directly, even though, since they were both the same managerial grade, he was perfectly entitled to do so. However, complaining was all he could do, and Noble would only take it out on Daniel. Spen was waiting for Noble to unequivocally cross the line in a way that didn’t compromise Daniel, and then he planned to raise holy hell. It wasn’t right that a manager in a company working with vulnerable people should treat a vulnerable employee like shit, especially if he’d done it before. But Spen had to be discreet, so for now he did what he could to protect Daniel and bolster his confidence. The kid had positively bloomed away from the pressures of the office and looking after his brother and sister, even with his boss being a prick. If he took even a little bit of that self-assurance and happiness back home, Spen would consider his efforts a success, and a pleasure. He liked Daniel’s smile and his company. He’d enjoy those as long as he could, without a twinge of conscience. He saw little of Daniel during the day, and when he did, it was usually as Daniel was rushing out of the hotel or into the lift, carrying bundles of papers, or talking on his phone. Noble was the only manager at his level to have his PA with him, a concession because of the importance of the Cross-Channel project. Spen’s regional colleagues had commented unflatteringly on that fact during their informal meetings. Spen didn’t know a single person who held Noball in high regard and yet he was senior management’s fairhaired boy. Spen could easily run the IT department for a company a hundred times the size of the one in which he worked, but he would never understand that kind of business politics. Finally Wednesday afternoon arrived, and the presentation to all the regional managers and the national office was held. Daniel and Spen sat at the back, managing the audiovisual. Noble spoke apparently extempore, though Spen knew from Daniel how carefully rehearsed the speech was. The act worked, and Spen had to grant the man a grudging admiration for talking with apparent fluency about a topic on which he was hardly an expert, making it sound like he had skilfully initiated and guided the project, when all he’d really done was throw the right people at it. Which, of course, required a talent too, though it wasn’t the one Noble wanted to display. Spen handled the more technical questions during the Q&A, but Noble coped with

the rest pretty well, Daniel having moved to his side to hand up this or that sheet of facts and figures. They appeared like a well-oiled machine, even if in reality Noble was the squeaky wheel and the lubricant was more like Daniel’s blood, sweat...and tears. At the end Noble sat down, flushed with pleasure at the applause. Daniel smiled, more relieved than delighted. Spen understood why—the pressure was off for a little while, and Noble’s good mood could only be a bonus. As the room cleared, Noble clapped his hand on Spen’s arm. “Come for a drink. That went very well.” “Thanks, but I’m meeting Eastern for drinks and then dinner. Sorry.” “Ah, never mind. Daniel? I owe you a glass of something expensive, I think.” “Oh, it’s okay—” “Now, Daniel. You have to let me crow a little. Perks of the position. I insist.” Spen wanted to kick the bastard in the knee, but Daniel gave Noble a sickly smile. “Sure, why not. I’ll see you later, Spen?” “I won’t be late. No way can I keep up with Eastern. Take it easy, Daniel.” Daniel waved him off, before Noble firmly steered him in the direction of the hotel bar. At least two other managers caught up with them, which eased the sudden worry Spen felt. Noble wouldn’t try anything in front of his colleagues, and the worst Daniel would suffer would be terminal boredom. Sorry, kid. Can’t rescue you tonight.

~~~~~~~~ The trick with dealing with Eastern—and Northern, and Southern and Isles—was not to get into buying rounds, which was harder than it sounded. The idea of someone quietly nursing a pint of bitter while the rest were downing tequila shots and vodka mixes was anathema to twenty excitable, loud and slightly drunk nerds who could make a lot of noise when they wanted something. Spen bought a round early, held up his nearly full glass as an answer to “Do you want another?” for as long as he could, and ignored extra pints arriving unwanted by his elbow. He wasn’t the only one taking it easy—the older veterans of the national conference had learned their lesson years ago as he had, and since they were the ones he most wanted to talk to, it was natural enough to move away from the louder, larger group to chat. Spen was deep in a raging debate about the merits of server architecture when he felt his phone vibrate. “Sorry, I should get this,” he said to his companions. The call was from his mother. “Hi, Mum. Hang on, I can’t hear you.” He moved outside and closed the glass door behind. The damp weather meant he was alone out on the deck. “What’s up?” “Spencer, Dee’s been trying to call Daniel for half an hour or more. His phone keeps going to voice mail. Is he there with you?” “No, he was having a drink with his boss and some other people. Supper too, I

guess,” he added, looking at the time. “Let me see if I can track him down and get him to call. He probably just forgot how late it was.” “Yes, I’m sure that’s what it was. But the child is worried and I thought I’d see if I could help.” “No problems, Mum. I’ll call you back as soon as I find him.” The presentation had been over for nearly two hours. Daniel was either having dinner with Noble or up in their room. Spen called his mobile, but immediately went through to voice mail. Daniel never turned off his phone, he said. Dee or Alex might need him. Was he talking to someone? For half an hour? Unlikely, but not impossible. He went back inside the bar and found his friends. “Sorry, guys. I just need to duck out for a bit. I’ll find you at the restaurant if you’ve gone by the time I get back, okay?” He headed back to the hotel. The hotel bar was largely empty—certainly no Noble or Daniel. The restaurant was also quiet, and the bistro was closed. He returned to the bar, and caught the attention of the bar attendant. “Hi. I’m looking for a friend of mine—young man, red hair. Would have been with an older man, maybe a few of them, an hour or so. All guests of the hotel.” “About twenty, wearing a suit and tie? They all left an hour ago.” “Did you notice if they went out or upstairs?” Her forehead wrinkled in concentration. “Uh, three of the older men went out the front. The young guy and another older guy went towards the lifts. I can’t be sure they didn’t follow the others out though. The toilets are that way too.” “Thanks.” “No problem. Did you want a drink?” “No, I’m fine.” She nodded and went down the other end of the bar to empty the glass washer. Spen bit his lip, thinking. Myko jumped onto the bar and meeped in distress. Spen patted him. “Where’s Kani, squirt? Do you know?” Myko squeaked, jumped down, and ran to the lifts. Did that mean he thought Kani— and Daniel—were in the hotel? Spen had nothing else to go on, so he followed his kem and took the elevator to their floor. He tried their room—empty. He tried Noble’s mobile —no answer. Okay, now he was worried. Myko climbed up onto his shoulder and bit his ear. “Ow! What did you do that for, you menace?” Myko jumped to the floor and stamped his foot. “All right, I’m listening. Where?” Myko ran back to the elevators. Spen followed, confused as to what his kem wanted. In the elevator car, he picked Myko up. “Okay, where?” Myko went to bite his finger in

frustration, but Spen yanked it out of the way. “No, you don’t. Wait.” He held his kem near the buttons for the floors. “Which one?” Myko nudged the one for the floor above with his nose. “Noble’s room?” Myko squeaked. “Shit.” He pressed the button and as soon as the car arrived, bolted out and down the corridor. Myko ran ahead of him, squeaking in distress, and at Noble’s door, actually disappeared through it. Spen banged on the door—no answer. “Tony? Are you in there?” Still no answer. Myko reappeared through the door. “He’s not there—” Spen started to say, but stopped. Behind Myko, a small grey form appeared. “Kani?” The little kem squeaked faintly and fell over. Myko meeped in distress, licking Kani’s face and nudging him. Spen picked them both up. Kani was conscious, but severely disoriented. The only way to do anything to a kem was to hurt its human. Which meant.... He cuddled the kems with one arm, and used his free hand to bang on Noble’s door again. “Daniel! Tony! Open this door!” No response, even though he kept it up for over a minute. He turned, intending to look for a manager, only to discover a manager—and a burly porter—had found him first. “Sir, you’re disturbing our guests,” the manager said. Behind her, the big porter flexed his impressive biceps. “Yeah, too bad. My friend’s in there, and he’s sick. Look at his kem.” He held Kani out. The lolling head and panting told the story better than he could. “I know he’s in there, but I can’t get anyone to open the door. Please—he’s probably unconscious.” The manager’s expression changed from annoyance to concern. “I have a master key. Let me.” She knocked once on the door. “Sir? If you’re in there....” The door opened before she had a chance to pull her keycard out of her pocket. Noble stood there, somewhat untidily dressed. “Spencer? I was just about to call someone.” Spen pushed past him. “Where’s Daniel...shit.” He ran over to the bed where Daniel lay face down. “Daniel? Wake up, kid. What the fuck did you do to him, Noble?” “Nothing—don’t be ridiculous. I was just about to call an ambulance. He turned up ten minutes ago in a confused state, said he felt unwell, so I let him lie down since he wasn’t in a fit state to return to his room. I only realised he wasn’t simply asleep a minute or so ago when you knocked.” Spen didn’t believe a word of it, but it wasn’t important right now. “Call an ambulance, now,” he snapped at the two hotel staff, then he turned Daniel into the recovery position. He was breathing, albeit slowly, and his pulse was also rather slow. He was also much paler than normal, which meant he looked practically transparent, and

Myko’s worried squeaks and Kani’s condition confirmed that this wasn’t right. “Hurry!” The porter went to the room phone. The manager called someone on her mobile. Noble went outside. Spen ignored them all, concentrating on Daniel. He didn’t seem to have any injury, and was dressed, though his shirt was untucked and misbuttoned, and his fly wasn’t fully closed. He also smelled of something that Spen found familiar but couldn’t place. “What happened to you?” Spen murmured, brushing his hand through Daniel’s fine red hair. “Where’s the ambulance?” The porter answered. “Coming, sir. Let me have a look—I’m a first aider.” So was Spen, but it never hurt to have a second opinion. While the porter checked Daniel over, Spen turned to the manager. “Where did Noble—that guest—go?” “Uh, I don’t know. Outside somewhere. Where is Daniel’s room?” “It’s mine,” he said and gave the room number. “I’m Spencer Reardon, his colleague and his emergency contact at the moment, as his family are staying with my parents.” “Then you should go with him to the hospital. I’ll arrange that when the ambulance gets here.” The paramedics arrived five minutes later and attached a scary number of leads to a still unconscious Daniel. “Has he been drinking?” one of them asked while he fastened a blood pressure cuff to Daniel’s arm. “Yes, but not to excess that I know of. His boss was with him, and some other managers. He wouldn't get drunk in front of them.” And just where the fuck was Noble now? “His kem is acting weird too.” Spen held Kani out so the paramedic could take a long look. “That’s not alcohol,” he said, though he didn’t say what else it was likely to be. Spen could guess though. He looked around the room. Everything was tidy—no cups or bottles, not even in the trash. Had Daniel ingested something in the bar? The paramedics put Daniel on oxygen and inserted an IV port, before loading him onto a gurney. “We’ll be taking him to Central,” the other paramedic said. “Is anyone going to come there with him?” “Me,” Spen said. “I’ll follow.” “A taxi should be waiting downstairs, Mr Reardon,” the manager said. “We’ll let them know at the hospital,” the paramedic told Spen. The paramedics rolled Daniel out. Kani gave a faint squeak and disappeared. Spen had never seen a kem in that state before and didn’t like what that might mean for Daniel. “I’ll head off now,” he told the manager, “but if Tony Noble returns, can someone ask him more about what happened this evening? And could you ask the bar staff if Daniel seemed drowsy or ill to them? This is my number.” He handed the manager his card. “If his family calls, can you ask them to call me instead? I don’t want them getting bad news

without an explanation.” “Certainly, Mr Reardon. Leave it to us. Jim, please escort him downstairs and make sure the taxi’s there.” The porter went with him to the lift, and whistled up the taxi to pick Spen up from the front door. “Hope your friend is all right, sir.” “Thanks.” With nothing to distract him from the worry, his thoughts raced through some distinctly horrible possibilities. What if Daniel was seriously ill? What if he died? What had happened in the hotel room, and why had Noble taken such a long time to answer the door? Spen now wished he’d asked the manager to call the police as well, but on what basis? Now Noble had plenty of time to dispose of any evidence, if there was any to dispose of. But maybe Daniel had just reacted badly to a couple of strong drinks. It wasn’t impossible, or even all that unlikely considering he didn’t drink much. Spen hoped for Daniel’s sake that this was the explanation. The alternatives were horrifying. He remembered his promise to call his mother, and rang the house. “Did you find him, love?” “Yes, Mum. Is Dee there?” “No, in her room. Shall I fetch her?” “No, no...Mum, we’re taking Daniel to hospital. I found him unconscious in his boss’s room.” “Oh my lord. What’s wrong?” “I don’t know, but I don’t want you to tell Dee either. Not yet. Could you tell her that Daniel’s been taken ill, and he’s asleep. I’ll call her in the morning with an update. I should know more then.” “I don’t like lying to the children, Spencer.” “I know, but do you want her getting hysterical with worry when there’s nothing she can do? Look...just say he’s unwell. That’s no lie. I don’t think he’s in serious danger. At least, I hope not. There’s nothing she can do there for him.” “All right, I’ll do that. That poor boy. What could it be?” “I don’t know. I’ll call tomorrow when I do know. Dee can call me if she needs to, but Mum, please try and keep her calm.” “Don’t tell me how to mother a child, love.” Spen smiled a little. “Are you all right, Spencer? This must be a shock.” “I’m trying to concentrate on what needs to be done. I’m just glad I found him sooner rather than later. You and Dee might have saved his life.” His mother gasped. “I don’t know what Dee and Alex will do if anything happens to

Daniel.” “Well, then, we won’t let anything happen. Don’t worry too much, Mum. I’ll handle it here.” “Good night, love. He’s in good hands with you.” If that had been true, Daniel wouldn’t have been struck down in the first place. Still, recriminations could wait until he had his hands around Tony Noble’s cowardly neck. The taxi dropped him at the Emergency entrance, and when he enquired at Reception, he discovered he was only behind the ambulance by a couple of minutes. “He’s still being assessed,” the clerk told him. “Take a seat and you’ll be called. Are you family?” Spen had given this some thought on the ride over, and answered calmly, “He’s my boyfriend. His parents are dead and his siblings are both minors. They’re staying with my family at the moment.” The clerk made a note and didn’t comment. Spen figured it was the kind of statement no one was likely to argue with, unlike claiming to be a brother—unlikely, given their decided lack of resemblance to each other—or a spouse, which he couldn’t backup. Daniel would understand, and it made things easier without needing to drag Dee into this, or worse, Daniel’s elderly and infirm grandparents. Myko wouldn’t settle, meeping and moving restlessly from Spen’s lap to the floor and back again. He didn’t wander far, not even to talk to the other kems in the waiting room. Spen gave him what comfort he could, which wasn’t much, and took what he could from Myko’s company. He waited nearly an hour before his name was called, and he was ushered through the doors separating the waiting room from the treatment cubicles. He asked where Daniel was but before he could go where he’d been directed, a young doctor came up to him. “I’m Dr Ali. Are you here for Daniel Walkinshaw?” “Yes. I’m Spencer Reardon. How is he?” “Stable for now. I need to talk to you, Spencer. Come this way.” She took him away from the nurse’s station. “Are you close to Daniel?” “Pretty close, yes.” “Do you know what happened this evening? What he ate, or drank?” “Not exactly, no. I was with work colleagues. He was in the bar with his boss and other managers. I don’t think he ate anything down there, but I don’t know what happened after he and his boss returned to his boss’s room.” “So he was drinking?” “I believe so. That was the intention. He’s not a big drinker at all. Is it just alcohol?” She grimaced. “I don’t think so, but without knowing what he ingested, it’s hard to

say. Does he take drugs?” “No.” Spen didn’t have any proof of that other than his knowledge of Daniel as a person, but he was as sure of that as he was of his own sobriety. “Has he been drugged?” “We suspect he’s taken something.” “Or been given it.” “Possibly. Where’s his boss? Is he ill too?” “I don’t know where he is, and no. He was fine. Claims Daniel turned up at his room, and fell asleep on his bed. I don’t believe him, for what it’s worth.” “Hmmm. There’s signs of Daniel having had anal sex as the receptive partner very recently. Would that be with you?” Spen’s hands curled into fists. “No,” he said tightly. “And I can assure you that having sex with his boss is the last thing he would do. He doesn’t like him. We should call the police, doctor.” “Yes, I agree, and we can do that when he wakes up. But Daniel’s still unconscious, and the drug tests won’t necessarily be conclusive. If Daniel can’t remember what happened this evening, as is likely, then the police won’t be able to prove he didn’t take something voluntarily, or have sex involuntarily. There’s no physical evidence of force.” Spen felt sick. Noble, I’ll kill you with my bare hands. “Can I see him?” “Yes. At this point, we’ll keep him in here until he wakes up and is normal again. That will probably be a few hours. You can take him home then, provided someone keeps an eye on him. He’s likely to feel fairly sorry for himself, just warning you.” “I won’t let him out of my sight, I swear.” She smiled. “Good. Through here.” Daniel lay on his side wearing a hospital gown and covered with a sheet. He still wore the oxygen mask and was attached to a machine monitoring his blood pressure and heart rate. Spen sat by him and took his hand. Daniel didn’t move. His hand was very cold, and his breathing still slow. “Oh Danny, Danny, you’re a worry.” Spen stroked his pale cheek. “Kani, where are you, squirt?” Daniel’s kem popped out and crawled slowly onto Daniel’s shoulder, wobbling back and forth, though looking a little more alert than before. Myko pulled him down onto the bed in front of Daniel’s head and began to delicately groom his woozy friend. Spen stroked them both, wishing Myko’s attentions to Kani would somehow stimulate Daniel to consciousness. But Daniel didn’t wake or even twitch. Spen settled in to wait, keeping hold of Daniel’s hand, determined to not to leave his side for a second. Nearly two hours later, Daniel roused fully, blinking green eyes open and staring uncomprehendingly at Spen. “Hey. How do you feel?” “‘m I?”

“Hospital. What do you remember?” “‘bout what?” “Having drinks with Tony?” “Um...I don’t.” He struggled to sit up, but even with Spen’s help, it was beyond him. He sank back down. “Feel crap.” “I know. Just going to find the doctor.” Daniel’s hand gripped Spen’s and his green eyes widened in panic. “It’s okay. Myko’s here. Back in a minute, I promise.” He gave Daniel’s hand a pat. “Promise.” Daniel let go. Myko licked his face, and Kani, now much brighter and with it, cuddled against his chest. Daniel gave his kem a dozy pat. “Don’t understand,” he mumbled. “I know. Just wait.” Dr Ali was attending to another patient, but Spen caught her eye and she came out to see him. “He’s awake. He doesn’t remember anything. Not yet.” “I’m not surprised. The tox results show almost no blood alcohol content, but GHB is present.” That was an acronym Spen hadn’t heard since his student days. “The date rape drug?” “One of them, yes. Doesn’t prove how it got into him, though. I’ll just go and speak to him. Would you like to wait out here?” Spen hovered outside the cubicle, while the doctor spoke quietly to Daniel. He tried not to eavesdrop but it was hard not to get most of it, and understand that Daniel was adamant that he didn’t want the police involved, and he refused to consent to a rape kit. When the doctor came out, she shrugged at Spen. “Can’t say I’m surprised.” “But you’ll keep the drug results on record?” “Yes. But the police won’t attend unless he makes a complaint. If he changes his mind, he can contact them at any time.” “Can he go home?” “I’d rather he stayed an hour or two but he’s determined to leave. GHB leaves the body fairly fast so he’ll probably be all right. You’ll stay with him?” “Yes, and get him back here if he seems to be worse.” “Then he can leave.” She went to the nurses’ station and picked up a leaflet, which she handed to Spen. “He might need this.” Spen looked at it. “Rape counselling?” “It’s likely, yes.” She looked up at him. “Take it easy with him, Spencer.” “I will.” She nodded and went off to another cubicle. Spen stared at the leaflet then shoved it

into his pocket with a shudder. Someone had assaulted Daniel tonight. More than assaulted. The police should be involved. Inside the cubicle, Daniel, now detached from his leads and the oxygen, was making a fairly futile attempt to get dressed. “The doctor thought you should hang around for a little bit, Daniel.” “I’m fine. I just want to get out of here. Help me, will you?” Spen helped him into his trousers and shirt. Trying to identity the odd smell on them was driving him nuts. “Where are my shoes?” “Here, don’t panic.” He bent to help Daniel put them on. “You should really speak to the police.” The foot jerked out of Spen’s grip. Spen looked up and found its owner glaring at him. “No. Not now, not ever. I won’t get my family into more crap.” “Daniel, someone drugged you.” “Maybe. But I’m fine and I don’t want to think about this any more. I’ve got a headache, I’m tired, and you know as well as I do the police won’t be able to do a damn thing. I’ll end up spending hours at a police station for no reason.” “What about stopping whoever it was doing it again?” Spen ached to mention Noble by name but he didn’t want to contaminate Daniel’s evidence, if he did manage to convince him to make a complaint. “We don’t know who it was, and I can’t give them anything to find him. I just want to get out of here. You haven’t spoken to Dee, have you?” “No. I asked Mum to let her know you were unwell, but not to worry. You can call her in the morning.” Daniel sagged. “Thanks. Look...I know what you’re saying, and why. But I can’t. I just can’t. It’s too much. I haven’t got the energy to deal with this on top of the rest.” “Okay.” Spen finished with the shoes, and helped Daniel stand. Daniel picked up Kani, who squeaked and licked him. “Whatever it was, made him sick too.” “Sorry,” Daniel said to his kem, kissing his head. He looked up at Spen. “You found me?” “Good thing too. It was really Myko and Kani.” “Right.” Daniel ran out of determination around about then, and sat back on the bed. “I really do feel like crap.” “You can stay—” “Please? Can we just...go?” “Sure. Here.” He took his hand and helped him up again. Daniel held his hand longer than he

needed to. “Thank you.” “Any time.” He put his hand on Daniel’s shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

Chapter 9 Daniel leaned on the taxi’s window, not really seeing the passing scenery. Spen’s face was reflected in the glass, so Daniel knew he was being watched. Not surprising Spen was worried. Daniel wanted to be alone, but he couldn’t bring himself to wish Spen wasn’t there. His stomach churned and his head throbbed. He still felt out of it, unsettled. Nothing like being drunk or hungover. Someone had drugged him. Someone had had sex with him, the doctor said. He knew what those two things added up to, but he couldn’t make himself admit it in so many words. “Where did you find me?” He immediately regretted asking. “In Tony’s room. On his bed. He said you turned up in a confused state.” Daniel’s stomach heaved and he covered his mouth. He couldn’t ask the next question. He was afraid Spen would answer it. “Do you need to throw up?” Spen asked. “No. Leave me alone, please.” “Sure.” Kani sat in Daniel’s lap, meeping quietly from time to time. Daniel should try and comfort the little guy but he couldn’t find the energy. Oh god, how was he going to tell Dee? He couldn’t. He’d have to lie. But first, he had to pull himself together. The hotel was deserted, thankfully. He didn’t know what he’d do if he ran into one of the managers. Or Tony. How was he supposed to.... Was this where he had to give up? How could he work for someone who...but he didn’t know that Tony had. Why would Tony take such a risk here, among his peers and superiors? Tony was married. Maybe it was nothing like it looked at all. Spen guided him up to their room, and locked the door behind them. “I’m taking you home in the morning. I’ll email Noble and whoever needs to know that our presentation is cancelled because of illness.” “I can’t—” Spen took him by the arms and made Daniel look at him. “You’re in no state, and I refuse to do this while you’re in this condition. No argument, Daniel.” Daniel shook him off. “All right,” he said irritably. “But I’m fine.” “You’re a crime victim.” “I’m not a victim. I won’t be. I refuse to be involved in this. All I want to do is do my job, look after Dee and Alex, sort out our messes without anything else. Do you understand?” “Yes, but I don’t agree.”

“Tough. It’s not your life, not your decision. Leave me alone.” Spen stepped back. “Whatever you want, kid.” “And stop calling me that. Maybe if you realised I’m as adult as you, you wouldn’t be trying to nanny me.” “I’d do this for anyone in your situation.” “There is no situation. I’m going to use the loo.” Nausea washed over him as he fled into the bathroom, so he sat on the closed toilet lid and held his head in his hands. He had to get his act together here. If he couldn’t convince Spen he was all right, he’d never convince Dee and Alex. How would he explain coming home early? Maybe the best thing was not to tell them...but if they came back from Mrs Reardon’s house for some reason, they’d discover the lie. He’d have to come up with something. What a bloody mess. Kani crawled up onto his lap and meeped into his face. Daniel stroked his back right down to the tail, the way he liked. “I’m sorry, kiddo.” Kani squirmed closer and Daniel held him tight. “Help me. I need to be strong.” Kani wasn’t enough though. Daniel had to find it from inside, somehow, but he didn’t know how much he had left.

~~~~~~~~ Spen sent a short, barely civil email to Noble, and a more polite one to his line manager regarding the cancelled presentation. He didn’t much care whose noses were put out of joint, and would be delighted if Noble was annoyed. The creep hadn’t even called to find out how Daniel was. Not that Spen had any intention of telling him what they really knew. He also sent emails to Jyoti and Julian, because Daniel might be feeling disinclined to pursue the criminal angle right now, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t change his mind. Or be persuaded to. Daniel was taking a long time in the bathroom. Spen tried not to worry but finally gave in. He knocked on the door. “You okay in there?” “Leave me alone.” Spen shook his head and sat down again. If Daniel was cranky, at least that meant he was alive. Myko squeaked and shoved his nose under Spen’s hand. Spen put him on the floor. “You go keep an eye on him, squirt. Let me know if he’s in trouble.” Myko ran off and disappeared through the closed bathroom door. What could he do for the kid? He understood Daniel’s objections to talking to the police—hell, gay men got a hard enough time normally, and rape cases weren’t taken half as seriously as they should be, no matter what sex the victim was. But if the police talked to Noble....

There was no proof. Just Noble’s word against a drug test, and proof that Daniel had had sex. Even though Spen would bet all his savings that Daniel would never go out looking for quick, anonymous sex, or take drugs like GHB, he couldn’t prove he hadn’t. So how could he help? Should he give Daniel that leaflet on counselling? Should he recruit his mother to help? Or should he let Daniel live in denial, if that helped him cope with all the stress his life held? Finally the bathroom door opened. The kems raced out ahead of Daniel. “All yours.” His sullen expression didn’t do much for him, but the improved colour did. “I won’t be long.” “Whatever. I’m going to sleep.” “Look, I’m on your side, you know. I just don’t know what to do.” Daniel sat on his bed and looked up. “I’m sorry. I feel...like I could fly into a million pieces if I’m not careful. If you push me too hard. I have to hold it all together.” Spen sat on the bed next to him. “You don’t have to do it alone.” “I do. There’s only me. I can’t ask Dee and Alex to help.” “Maybe, maybe not. But I’m here. I won’t go away, and I won’t let you down. Just let me be there, even if you don’t think you need me.” Daniel’s green eyes shone with tears. “I’m scared,” he whispered. “I can’t fail.” “You won’t. We won’t let you.” Spen patted his shoulder, wanting to hug him but not wanting to violate Daniel’s space right now. “Are you hungry? Do you want coffee, or water? Anything?” “No. Just sleep. You know I could do this presentation just fine.” “Too late, already cancelled. You and I are checking out tomorrow morning and you’re going back home because you shouldn’t have been here in the first place.” “What will I tell Dee and Alex?” “We’ll work something out.” Spen gave him a gentle shove. “Hop into bed. I’m going to get Myko to keep an eye on you in case you relapse or something.” “I’m fine.” The crankiness was back. “Good. Bed.” He waited until Daniel was under the covers, then he turned the room light down and set Myko on the end of the bed. “You know what to do,” he whispered. Myko chirped and ran up to sit on Daniel’s chest next to Kani. “Great, now how am I supposed to sleep?” Daniel groused, glaring at the kems looking back at him with bright-eyed enthusiasm. “Carefully,” Spen said, and grinned at the scowl. Anything was better than sullen depression.

~~~~~~~~

Their journey back on the train was largely a silent one. Daniel let Spen deal with checking out, and they’d avoided any contact with any of the conference attendees. Noble had responded to Spen’s email with one that was even less diplomatic, saying that he was disappointed in the cancellation and that he expected Daniel back at work the following Monday. Not a word of concern, the bastard—but at least he’d spared Spen the hypocrisy. Daniel texted his sister to say he was fine, had just been unwell and was coming home early. Spen suggested that he ask the kids to stay one more night with his mum, to give Daniel a chance to get his balance, but he refused. “It’s their home, and I’m fine.” Spen gave up on that line, but he insisted on calling the office to remove the redirect from Noble’s line to Daniel’s mobile, and actually took the phone off him to stop him answering anything other than calls from his brother and sister. Daniel put up surprisingly little fight. After the brief burst of determination over Dee and Alex, he’d slid back into apathy, paying little attention to the journey, Spen, or even Kani. He’d eaten very little breakfast, and refused tea from the train’s galley. Spen wondered if he was afraid of being drugged again. Maybe his stomach was still upset. Asking was more than he dared do, seeing the faraway look in Daniel’s eyes as he stared through the dirty glass out to the rain-sodden railway cutting. When they arrived, Daniel looked at Spen in surprise as he climbed into the taxi with him. “I’m coming with you,” Spen said. “Why?” “Because.” Daniel shrugged, and gave the driver the address. He finally roused to question Spen’s actions once he’d unlocked his front door and set his bags down. “I’m okay now. You should go home.” “House is empty until Mum gets home. I thought I’d keep you company until the kids come back from school.” Daniel frowned. “Why?” “Do you want to be alone?” Daniel opened his mouth, then closed it. “No,” he said in a small voice. “But I shouldn’t impose.” “You didn’t. I offered. Is there anything to eat? I’m starving.” Daniel sat in the kitchen and watched Spen as he rooted around looking for edibles. The fridge was bare, since they house was supposed to be empty for a week, but he found a tin of soup, and that with toasted bread from the freezer, a pot of tea and some biscuits, made a warming if not particularly healthy meal. Spen watched Daniel’s colour improve with every mouthful, and concluded at least some of his bad mood was down to low

blood sugar. “Feeling better?” he asked as he collected the dishes to dump in the sink. “Yes. Thank you. Spen...I’m sorry for being such an arsehole.” “You need to try harder. I didn’t even notice. You forget who I work with.” That raised a smile. “What do you want to do now?” “Um...I should do some shopping. You don’t want to do that with me.” “Try me.” “Don’t you have anything better to do?” “Nope. I’m on leave until Monday. Besides, I never get to shop properly any more since I moved back home.” Daniel looked like he was about to tell Spen that was the most ridiculous statement since the Big Bang, but the words never actually came out. Instead he shrugged. “If you really want to.” The rain had stopped but it was still cold and windy, so people crowded into the shops. Weaving around damp, cranky people wasn’t Spen’s idea of fun, but Daniel seemed to barely notice, filling his trolley methodically, checking unit prices and always choosing discounted or sale items. Spen hadn’t had to do that since he was a student—his salary and living rent-free with Rob had spared him from having to watch his budget too carefully. Daniel might have been doing it out of habit, but then he wouldn’t be working for a wanker like Noble if the family finances were secure. Myko and Kani thought the shop was a playground set up for their pleasure, and chased each other along the shelves, weaving in and out of the cans and bottles with breathtaking heedlessness. Myko was normally pretty well-behaved in shops, but Spen saw Daniel’s smile at their antics, and carefully did nothing to rein in his naughty kem. Myko and Kani were trying to help—and it was working. Daniel reached for a packet of discounted cheese. “I thought I’d make a couple of dishes to freeze this afternoon, maybe roast a chicken for supper.” “You cook?” “Yeah, we all do. Mum insisted. I like it. Made life easier at Uni.” His mouth turned down. “Dee does most of it now, but I try and make up for it at the weekends.” “Mum does the cooking at home. I can cook but she enjoys it. I do the heavier housework, washing and vacuuming, that kind of thing.” “Ooh, where can I find your twin? I wish we had an extra pair of hands. Dad—” He stopped. Kani meeped and ran over to him, jumping up to his left shoulder. Spen put his hand on Daniel’s right, but didn’t know what to say. All he could do, after a few seconds, was to gently nudge him to carry on, which Daniel did, walking along in silence, picking out items with the same concentration as before. The kems no longer made him

smile. With the trolley loaded, they headed for the checkouts, only to find long queues everywhere. Daniel appeared resigned to it, but Spen found it almost intolerable. “We’ll get there eventually. Stop fidgeting.” “But it’s boooring,” Spen whined, just to make Daniel roll his eyes. “And you call me a kid...Kani, what’s wrong?” On his shoulder, Daniel’s kem stood on his back paws, his fur erect, snarling. Myko turned to look where Kani was pointing, and likewise bristled and snarled. “What the hell?” Spen said. “They’re just looking at mineral water.” The only offensive thing he could see about the green bottles was the price, since it was that fancy, rather salty, fizzy stuff that restaurants like to serve. There had been smaller versions in the hotel mini-bar, but like everything else in the mini-bar, they cost about three times what they would from the supermarket. Myko squeaked and nipped Spen’s ear. “Ow, you little bugger.” “Kani, stop it.” But when Daniel lifted him down, Kani squired free and jumped onto the display of bottles, hissing and spitting. People were starting to stare at him. “What’s wrong with you two? Why would you—” Spen stopped. Daniel’s widening eyes registered his realisation at the same time Spen came to it. “Oh God. Kani knows. It was in—” Daniel turned his back on the kems and the display. “I’m not talking about it,” he gritted out. “Look, go home, leave me to deal with this.” “No way. At least let’s get this to your house before you go postal.” Daniel glared. “You’re more upset than I am.” “Yeah, right.” Daniel pursed his lips and concentrated on dumping his groceries out onto the conveyor belt. Spen helped pack while ignoring the dirty looks. It was pure defence on Daniel’s part. Over Daniel’s objections he paid for a taxi back to the house, and helped carry the bags into the house. “Thank you,” Daniel said, sounding anything but grateful. “Maybe you should go now.” “Why?” “Why what?” “Why do you want me to leave?” “Because....” “Because I might talk to you about why Kani and Myko freaked out about bottles of mineral water?” Daniel grabbed the bag with the cold goods and stomped into the kitchen. Spen

hefted the rest and lugged them in behind. He found Daniel hurling stuff into the fridge. “Slow down, squirt. Don’t break something because you’re pissed off with me.” “I’m not.” The cheese hit a shelf with a resounding thud. “Then who are you mad at?” “No one. Me. Just...no one.” “Not even the person who drugged and raped you?” Daniel stiffened. “I don’t—” “Want to talk about it. Okay. Then don’t. But you can’t make it not have happened. So either face it, or face your brain ambushing you all the time.” He pulled the leaflet out of his pocket. “The doctor at the hospital gave me this.” He laid it on the countertop. Daniel moved back from it like it was a bomb with the counter down to ten seconds. “I don’t need that.” “You need something. You can’t live in denial forever.” “Just watch me. If you’re going to lecture me, please go, Spen. Otherwise, you’re welcome to stay and help me cook. That’s as much entertainment as I can offer, sorry.” “Well, since you’ve made such a tempting offer, I’ll stay. What do you want me to do?” Daniel flicked a finger at the leaflet. “Throw that away for a start.” Spen put it in his pocket without protesting. “I need a stack of cheese grated. Feel like doing that?” “I’m the world’s best cheese grater. Let me at it.” Daniel sighed in exasperation. “Don’t you ever get annoyed?” “Why, do you want to see it?” Daniel went to the fridge, pulled out the cheese, and found the grater and a bowl. “Stop when you’re fed up or run out of cheese. Or you decide you’ve got better things to do than babysit me.” “Try harder, squirt, if you’re trying to see what I look like pissed off.” Spen counted it a victory that Daniel bothered to flip him off, before returning to the bags of groceries for his cooking supplies. Despite that unpromising beginning, the afternoon went peacefully. Once finished with the cheese, Spen was set to cutting up carrots and onions, and washing up dishes and pans to keep the volume down. Daniel worked like a demon, cooking up mountains of mince for lasagne, cottage pie, and to put on toast with baked beans. “You certainly know how to stretch your budget,” Spen said, calculating that Daniel had made at least half a dozen meals out of what many people would spend on one. “Something else Mum taught us. She said we would need to save our money for important things when we left home. I guess she never figured it would be because she died.”

“Are you really that badly off?” “No. But there’s no income coming in other than what I make, and there’ll be a lot of expenses soon. Already are. Having a salary gives us a cushion. It’s the difference between mince and beans, and chicken and fish occasionally. I don’t want Dee and Alex to go without, or miss out on any chances because we haven’t got the money. Mum and Dad worked hard to provide for us, and wanted us all to go to University.” “But now you’re not.” “No. Not at the moment.” Spen wiped his hands. “Daniel, try not to get angry with me—but maybe you should consider not going back to work on Monday. Tony’s not doing right by you, regardless of what happened last night.” Despite the plea, Daniel’s jaw set hard. “You can’t prove he did anything. I don’t think he did. Why the hell would he? Why there, for God’s sake? It’s the riskiest place possible.” Spen had to admit he had a point. “You were only there because he forced you to be —against company regulations. You could do so much better.” “Not now I can’t. Give me two more months. That’ll be nearly six months that I’ve been there, and I can look around for more office work with that experience.” But you shouldn’t be getting that experience. You’re an engineer, damn it. Spen didn’t say it out loud. There was no point...yet. “Noball’s a terrible boss.” “Yes. I know that. He’s not the worst thing I’ve had to put up with by a long way. I’ll be fine.” “I’d like to see you happier, that’s all.” Daniel laid his knife down and stared at Spen. “Why? Why take so much interest in me? You don’t do this to Luke or Jyoti or anyone else who works with you.” “Because I like you. I’d like to be friends. And I think you need a friend.” “Spare me.” “You’re a hard sell, Daniel. Do I annoy you so much?” Daniel flushed. “No,” he muttered. “I don’t like pity, that’s all.” “It’s not pity. It’s...hell, can’t a guy want to be your friend?” “You’ve got friends. And a family.” “So? Is there a quota? Maybe I’m short a redhead and I need to make up the set.” “That’s better than feeling sorry for me.” “I do not feel sorry for you. I worry about you. It’s different. I like you and I don’t want to see you hurt and I don’t like to know that friends of mine are being attacked when they should be safe. It wouldn’t matter if you were Jyoti or Luke or anyone else. I can’t help wanting to help. I get it from Mum.”

The first smile in hours crossed Daniel’s face. “She’s wonderful. They both are. I’m so jealous it makes me sick, and then I feel bad because I had wonderful parents too. I was just as lucky...for a while.” “Still are, if you’re in good shape because of their planning. Because of the man they made you.” “Yeah. Um...I don’t really want to talk about....” “I know. Is that lasagne ready?” Daniel cleared his throat. “Uh, ten minutes. I’m done now. The kids should be home in an hour.” “Then time for a cup of tea, and even a biscuit. Mum’s cure for everything.”

~~~~~~~~ Daniel was ashamed to admit to himself how grateful he was to Spen for hanging around until Dee and Alex came home, and helping him dodge difficult questions about why they’d both come back early. Spen made it all sound perfectly routine, and reassured Dee that Daniel hadn’t put his job at risk at all. Which might not be true, but she believed it. Watching Spen climb into a taxi to go home hurt more than he would have guessed. With Spen, he could feel something other than lost and rather scared. Spen made him angry, made him laugh, exasperated him. Without him, the clouds descended again. Dee noticed immediately. “Are you still not feeling okay, Daniel?” “No, I’m not. Sorry. In fact, if you guys don’t mind serving yourselves, I think I’ll head to bed early. I’m exhausted.” “Maybe you should see a doctor.” “I did, and it’s nothing to worry about. Just a reaction to something I ate or drank. A good night’s sleep would help.” She kissed his cheek. “Yes. I could make you a boiled egg?” “No, I’m okay. I’ll drink some milk.” He made himself straighten up. “Did you have a good time at Mrs Reardon’s?” “Oh yes. She’s really nice. She makes me miss Mum even more, though.” He patted her arm. “Yeah, I know what you mean. See you in the morning.” He hadn’t lied to Dee. He could barely keep his eyes open—until he lay down. Then sleep fled from him, leaving him rolling from side to side, willing his eyes to grow heavy and his mind to empty without success. Downstairs he heard the quiet bumps and clunks of his brother and sister having supper, arguing briefly, then ascending the stairs to use the bathroom and go to their respective bedrooms. From Alex’s room came the occasional beeps and bells from his laptop, from Dee’s, the sounds of her typing furiously. Nice reassuring sounds, none loud enough to keep him awake. And yet he

couldn't sleep. Kani was infected by the same restlessness, roaming up and down the bed, occasionally jumping to the floor and giving a miserable squeak. He missed Myko, Daniel guessed, though why he didn’t go and play with Veen or Lili, Daniel didn’t know. He turned over again. Unbidden, the memory of the leaflet Spen had placed on the kitchen counter came to him. Then that of Kani hissing at the bottles of mineral water. He covered his eyes with his arm. It wasn’t that they stirred other memories in his brain. It was that they exposed the horrifying nothingness between sitting in the bar, sipping wine with Tony and the other managers, and waking up in the hospital and seeing Spen’s concerned expression. The line was sharp. On one side, he could remember quite a lot of things—how nervous and uncomfortable he’d felt, how the wine was crap, and feeling amazed at how fast the others were drinking whisky. On the other, there was nothing. There was an...absence. He knew something was missing, like seeing a hole, but having no idea what it had looked like before the hole was there. He knew what the missing memories had to be about, but he couldn’t make himself fill in the gaps, put the visuals together. He literally had nothing to reference. He didn’t know why this had happened to him, or who had done it to him. Or what, exactly, they had done. Spen wanted him to face up to it. But if in facing up to it, those missing visuals made it all so much more horrific, would he be any better off? He didn’t think so. He didn’t see any point in forcing himself to see himself as a victim, to imagine in details what had been done. Better to keep it off in the distance, as if it had happened to someone else. Regrettable, awful, but not something that touched him personally. Not something like that visit from the police, telling him the world as he had known it for twenty-one years, was over for good. He remembered every second of that day, and the days afterwards, in perfect, gut-churning detail. He wished he could forget them. He never would. He didn’t want more memories like that in his head, not even by proxy. The quiet noises in the house stopped. His bedside clock told him it was eleven. Normally he would be soundly asleep by now. He’d never felt more awake, yet too tired to get out of bed and find something to do. If only Spen was— No. He couldn't go there either. What was the chance Spen would ever view him as a competent adult now, especially with him resisting Daniel’s every attempt to resist victimhood? Obviously seeing Daniel as anything but pitiable didn’t fit Spen’s internal narrative. Too bad Daniel wanted him more than ever now. Like his parents coming back from the dead, Spen was something Daniel could never have. From the end of the bed, Kani mewed pitifully. “Come here, kid,” Daniel whispered. His kem picked his way delicately up Daniel’s body, and nestled under his chin. Kani’s

warmth was soothing, and if it wasn’t the same as being held by someone, it was much better than being alone and lost. He stroked Kani gently and was rewarded by quiet trilling. The vibrations soothed him, gave himself something to concentrate on other than the hole in his memories. Somewhere along the line, he finally fell asleep.

Chapter 10 “Well, Daniel, are you now completely recovered from your overindulgence?” Tony took his glasses off. “Please sit down.” Daniel obeyed, glad to be able to hide his shaking knees. “Yes, I’m fine,” he muttered, not able to meet Tony’s eyes. “Good. It was quite disappointing to have to tell people that the seminar was cancelled. It left quite a gap in their knowledge.” “I’m sorry.” “Yes, I believe that. Such a shame to spoil such a satisfactory work performance up to then by getting carried away with alcohol.” “It wasn’t—” Daniel stopped. Admitting it was drugs—however administered— sounded much worse. “Um, it was probably something I ate.” “Ah. Well, I suppose that’s something we could all fall prey to. However, we still need to fill that information gap, and quickly. So I expect you and Spencer to turn your presentation into a detailed handout by the end of this week, and you and I will attend the meeting of Northern’s managers at the end of this month to give them the final rundown. It’ll be an overnight trip on the twenty-eighth, with the meeting in the morning next day. Make your arrangements as you need to.” “Yes,” Daniel mumbled. “A lot rides on this, Daniel. National roll out is expected to be underway by the end of the year, beginning with Northern. I depend on your support, and if you don’t feel you’re up to it, then I’ll have to find someone who can give it to me.” Daniel swallowed. “No, I can do it. I just ate something that made me sick.” “Very well. There’s a backlog of messages to attend to, and I want the Underwood file. That needs to be followed up.” “Yes, Tony.” Back at his desk, Daniel stared at the list of emails but didn’t really register them. He hadn’t expect this hostility from Tony, though maybe it wasn’t surprising since he must have lost a bit of face when Spen had cancelled with so little warning. Daniel had tried so hard to be the model employee, to give more than expected at every turn, but now his job was threatened by something that wasn’t his fault and he had no control over. A wave of anger rushed through him, and for a few mad seconds, he contemplated throwing his laptop to the floor or through Tony’s window. The rage left him just as quickly as it came on, and was replaced by a depression so profound, his eyes filled with tears that no amount of wiping could remove. He went to the men’s loo to wash his face. Was Spen right, he asked himself as he stared at his

mottled complexion in the mirror? Should he give this up now, instead of persisting for however long it took to find another job? But if he left now, Tony would have every excuse to write an unflattering reference. Leaving before his probation was completed couldn’t ever look good, even without a bad or carefully neutral recommendation. Daniel didn’t know if he could face months of job hunting again, especially now he realised how little he’d enjoy the jobs he’d be applying for. Maybe beans on toast for supper every night weren’t so bad. For his own sake, he’d rather live frugally than take another office job. He couldn't ask Dee and Alex to do that though, and it still didn’t answer the problem of a long-term income. The lawyers had warned him it could be years before the various criminal and civil actions were settled. So he’d better bloody well get on with it, and stop feeling sorry for himself, hadn’t he? He was the head of the family. Mum and Dad had never whined about their responsibilities, so neither would he. He returned to his desk, and sent a brief email to Spen telling him what Tony wanted. It wasn’t the politest thing he could have done—Spen had texted him several times over the previous days to ask how he was, but Daniel hadn’t answered. Spen’s company would have been so very welcome, but Daniel hadn’t dared give into his desires, and didn’t want to give Spen more reason to believe in his inability to cope. He’d taken refuge in housework, cooking, doing a few odd jobs, and the rest of the time, designing a prototype for a remotely controlled artificial hand. It had been his last project at Uni, one he’d barely started before he’d had to leave to deal with his parents’ deaths. He would never hand it in, and he wouldn’t produce anything that wasn’t being done bigger and better by appliance researchers, but robotic devices were one of his interests, and it kept his mind off other things. The nights had been tough. He would rather die than admit that to Spen...or anyone. Talking about it would make it worse, he knew that in his heart. He scrolled through the list of emails, marking those that needed attention, deleting those that didn’t, as a way of procrastinating until he found the energy to actually deal with the damn things. So many of them were actually for Tony to answer, but instead of them going direct to him, they were sent to Daniel, who would then have to ask Tony how to answer them, then sit down and transcribe his thoughts. Why this was supposed to be more economical than Tony dashing off a quick answer, Daniel had no idea. Increasingly, he found office affairs meaningless and staggeringly inefficient, offensive to his engineering instincts almost past toleration. His phone pinged to tell he had a text message from Spen. “Meet me 4 lunch 2day, 12:30.” Daniel texted back, “Sorry. 2 busy.”

Seconds later, “Make time or will sic Myko on2 u.” “U wdnt dare.” “U sure?” Daniel sighed. “Wnker. OK.” He got a “;-)” as his only reply. He really didn’t want to talk to Spen because he was bound to bring up the...thing. But he also missed the big guy, and had been so very lonely over the weekend even with Dee and Alex around. Spen looked at the world, analysed problems in almost exactly the same way Daniel did. They were always finishing each other’s sentences when they talked about Cross-Channel or anything else remotely technical. Daniel had no one else in his life like that any more. If he could just persuade Spen not to keep bringing up the other matter, they could be friends again. If Spen hadn’t texted him ten minutes before their lunch ‘date’, Daniel would have completely forgotten. As it was, he rushed into the pub five minutes late. Spen looked at Myko. “Told you,” he said to his kem. “Where’s Kani? Myko’s jonesing.” “Aren’t you all butch and forceful today? Kani? Come out, squirt.” Kani’s head appeared with a joyful chirp, then he leapt down to be greeted ecstatically by Myko. “I wish Tony would back down on this one.” “Force it. He has no right asking you to hide him. I ordered some of that veggie lasagne you liked so much, and got you a juice. Figured you’d be pushed for time.” Grateful as he was for the forward thinking, Daniel was just a teeny bit pissed off at being managed. Okay, a lot pissed off. “You don’t have to nanny me.” “I’m not. It’s just efficient. If you want something else....” But just then the food arrived and it smelled delicious. Kani took a long sniff, his tail shivering with delight. Daniel nudged him away and loaded up his fork. Suddenly he was starving. “No, it’s okay. Why did you want lunch?” “Missed you, that’s all. Wondered how you were. You look tired.” “Yeah. But I’m fine.” “I’m sure,” Spen said, taking a long sip from his beer. “So, Tony’s got his nuts in a tangle this morning? He sent me the pissiest email. I nearly sent it off ‘accidentally’ on a round office list.” “He’s um...not happy. I told him it was something I ate, so he’s less cranky at me directly. He thought I’d drunk too much.” “Yeah, right. Are you okay on that score? No headaches or anything?” “No, Nanny Spencer. I’m just fine, I keep telling you.” “Good. What’s this about you going to the Northern meeting?” “Oh yeah, I need to ask your mum if she can mind Dee and Alex for one night—the

twenty-eighth. Tony says it will be an overnight trip.” “Why?” “Why what?” “Why is it an overnight trip? Northern’s head office is a two-hour train trip away, and Tony gets a vehicle allowance. You could easily drive up and down in a day.” Daniel frowned. “I don’t know. He just said it was and I wasn’t going to argue, since he was already so worked up. Does it matter? If your mum can’t do it, I think Dee and Alex can manage one night on their own, so long as they have her to call.” “I’m sure she’ll be fine with it but that’s not the point.” Daniel swallowed the bit of lasagne he’d been chewing, lay his fork down and looked directly at Spen. “Then can we stop talking about it? It’s my business, not yours. I’m about this close to being thrown out on my ear and like I’ve explained to you, I need to keep the job a little longer.” “So you said,” Spen muttered, eating some of his salad. “So, do you want to watch some more movies some time?” “Uh, don’t you have better things to do with real friends?” “You’re a real friend, and no. God, Daniel, you have such low self-esteem. You can’t imagine anyone enjoying your company.” “Sorry. My friends were either at Uni or from school, and when Mum and Dad died, they kind of...evaporated. I think they thought they would catch bad luck.” “Idiots. Look, if you think I’m bothering you, just say so. I don’t want to be a pest.” Daniel flushed, and looked at Kani, utterly blissful as Myko groomed him. “No, you’re not a pest. But I’m not a kid. So long as we’re clear on that.” Spen held his fist up for Daniel to bump. “Totally clear. So, what did you get up to?”

~~~~~~~~ Spen managed to smooth the hackles of his prickly friend, and even raised a smile or two on his weary face. Despite Spen’s worst fears, Daniel’s strategy of denial seemed to be working for him, at least for now. As a long-term tactic, it sucked, but only Daniel could take the next step. But Spen hadn’t given up on the police angle, and what Daniel had told him about an overnight trip—an entirely unnecessary overnight trip—with his sleazeball boss, had sent all the alarms bells ringing. So while he carried on a pleasant conversation with Daniel, his mind was busy turning over how best he could find the evidence he needed, and work around Daniel’s refusal to bring the law into it. Denial was all very well but he didn’t think it would survive a second attack—and if it wasn’t Daniel, it would be someone else. “I need to get back,” Daniel said, wiping his mouth. “Thanks for the meal. My turn next time.”

“You’re on. I’ll ask Mum about the twenty-eighth.” “Thanks. I’ll draft up something for the handout and you can comment.” “That’ll save me some time. I’ll walk back with you.” He’d have done it anyway, but he had an extra reason today. Luke had heard about Daniel’s ‘bender’ before Spen had mentioned it, and the gossip wasn’t flattering in the least, he reported. Some of the speculation came far too close to the truth for Spen’s comfort. He couldn’t stop people talking, but he could at least show that Daniel had the support of at least one senior manager, for what that was worth. People stopped and looked as they passed. Daniel didn’t seem to notice. Spen wasn’t naïve enough to believe he would remain oblivious. Daniel waved goodbye and headed for the lift, while Spen walked to the stairs. Ten minutes after he sat down, he received an email from Daniel to say Noble had explained that he was going to Northern’s office early on the twenty-eighth, and he wanted Daniel to be available for a breakfast meeting the next day. It sounded completely plausible, and yet Spen was at the point that if Noble said grass was green, he’d have to stick his head out the window to check for himself. He tried his best to concentrate on his work, since he wasn’t being paid to be Daniel’s minder, but his thoughts kept going back to his friend—and his friend’s boss. He didn’t like what those thoughts were coming up with it. “Spen, do you have a moment?” Jyoti motioned him over to her desk. “There’s something you need to look at.” Spen come over to stand behind her. She pointed silently to the relevant part of the print out in her hand. Myko squeaked and jumped up and down on Spen’s shoulder. “Shhh, calm down, squirt. Jyoti, come with me.” Spen took her to the section’s small meeting room that doubled as storage for dying computers on their way to recycling. What she had in her hand was too explosive—and too important—to discuss in the office. She’d found the smoking gun he’d suspected. Now he had to work out the best way to use it.

Chapter 11 Coming into work knowing Tony would be away all day at the Northern office— even if he and Daniel would be meeting up later—was a relief. His boss had been, not to put too fine a point on it, an absolute shit to work for since the conference disaster. One minute he was praising Daniel extravagantly over something he’d done satisfactorily, and half an hour later he’d be tearing him down over some minor error, even if it wasn’t Daniel’s mistake. Daniel went home each evening with his guts in a knot, too tense to eat or sleep. He hoped all the nastiness resulted from Tony’s anxiety over the Cross-Channel rollout. If not, and this continued, it barely mattered how long he stuck it out at his job— his reference was going to suck. He’d already started looking at job advertisements, but without any sense of hope, or belief he could push himself as being competent and employable. He did his best to hide his worries from Dee, but his sister knew something was up. He palmed her off with excuses about the rollout, but he couldn’t do that forever, and she was too smart to be fooled for long. He wasn’t looking forward to this visit to Northern, but it did mean he would have the rest of tomorrow off, and then it was the weekend. If he could just get one solid night’s sleep, he would feel much better. Maybe he could take Spen up on his offer of a movie night. Spen had completely stopped commenting about the events at the conference, so Daniel could relax in his company again. It had been great to have an excuse to drop down to IT again. Kani had been making the most of it. And today Daniel could let him out without upsetting his boss. Spen had arranged to have lunch with him again. The handout had gone to Northern already so there was nothing left for them to do, yet Spen was unusually tense, drinking his pint with a determination that bordered on the disturbing. “Something wrong?” Daniel asked. “No. How are you?” “Glad to have a boss-free day.” Spen smiled but the expression disappeared too quickly. “Never trust a manager who’s shitty to his underlings. He sucks up to the clients and the bosses pretty well, but the test is in how he treats you.” “Yes. I know he’s crap. Do we have to talk about this again?” “No, we don’t. How are Dee and Alex? Mum was so pleased they were staying over again.” “So were they. They really like your parents.” “You’d be welcome over there too, you know. Any time. Doesn’t have to be when

the kids need to stay.” “Thanks. There’s just always so much to do at home.” “Is it me? Because Mum would love to see you and I can go somewhere else.” “Don’t be silly, Spen. I’m having lunch with you.” “Yeah.” Spen laughed a little. “I guess that answers me. What time are you leaving? And what’s the hotel? A nice one?” “At four, and I have no idea. ‘Lilyvale’, it’s called. I’m meeting Tony at seven.” Spen grunted. “I’ll be back here by lunchtime tomorrow. Half day for me.” “Good for you.” He checked his watch. “Bugger. I’ve got to run. No, don’t rush. I’ll catch you soon. Good luck tonight.” “And tomorrow.” Spen stopped. “Yeah. Tomorrow too. I’ll see you.” He squeezed Daniel’s shoulder, a gesture from that Daniel secretly adored as much as he hated the exact same thing from Tony. Unfortunately, Tony did it a lot more often than Spen did. He had very little to do when he returned from lunch—nothing compelling or important, for sure—so he played with Kani and did some web-surfing to kill time before he had to catch a taxi to the train station. He felt very little guilt about skiving, another way this job had changed him. He even understood why some of the other PAs were so disgruntled. You had to have a particular personality as well as intelligence to do this job, and he now knew he wasn’t PA material. Unfortunately, he wasn’t engineer material without the requisite degree. He wondered if he’d ever find a niche in which he felt comfortable and qualified. At five to four, he picked up his overnight bag and headed for the lifts. He garnered a few disapproving looks from the usual suspects. He had learned to ignore them, though the unfairness of the hostility never failed to sting. He kept his head down as he walked across the foyer, hoping to avoid any more company staff. “Daniel?” He looked up and recognised the voice’s owner. Kani squeaked with excitement when he saw Pyon, his erstwhile partner in crime. “Julian? Hi. Are you here for a meeting?” “Yes. With you. Come over, I’d like you to meet someone.” “Uh, Julian, I have a—” “Yes, I know. Don’t worry, it’s all been sorted out. Daniel, this is my boss and good friend, Leo Underwood.” Julian indicated a quite elderly gentleman with smiling eyes and a cute little white kem in his lap, sitting on one of the leather armchairs. Kani chirped in greeting and the little kem sat up and meeped. “Hello, Mr Underwood. Nice to meet you.”

“Same here, young man. Julian told me so much about you.” Daniel flushed. “Oh. Nothing bad, I hope.” “Of course not,” Julian said. “And this is my husband, Zachary Ledbetter.” One of the most extraordinarily handsome men Daniel had seen outside—or inside— the pages of a glossy magazine, stood and held out his hand. “Daniel.” Daniel shook his hand. “Mr Ledbetter.” The man’s enormous tawny kem, draped around his shoulders, yawned delicately. Kani chirped, and won a lazy tail flick from the big kem. “Zachary’s my nephew and legal advisor,” Mr Underwood said. “Julian?” Julian helped the man stand. He leaned heavily on a stick once he was upright, but despite the frailty of his body, there was nothing weak about his voice or his intent gaze. “Daniel, I’ve arranged with Mr Stern for you to go over some of the details of the projects your Mr Noble showed Julian.” Mr Stern was the head of the office, and his word was law. “Yes. Uh, but I was just —” Mr Underwood held up his hand. “Yes, you have a meeting. Don’t worry. You won’t be late. I’m afraid this can’t wait.” As the man was an important potential client, Daniel hoped Tony would understand. “Uh, there’s a room near Mr Noble’s office where we can talk.” “That would do splendidly. Here, take my arm. Julian does like to cling to Zachary. Can’t understand the appeal myself.” Julian grinned, and Ledbetter’s icily gorgeous features admitted a small smile. “Leo, you’re awful,” Julian chided. “Quite so. Daniel? Lead the way?” Still confused by all this, and wondering why on earth Mr Stern hadn’t told him anything about it, Daniel took them all up to Tony’s office, and ushered them into the interview room. “Would you like tea or coffee, Mr Underwood?” “Water, please, and call me Leo, dear boy. Zachary and Julian will have green tea, if you don’t mind.” Kani stayed behind to play with friends old and new, while Daniel prepared the drinks. He found his unexpected visitors chatting with each other and petting kems when he returned. “Thank you,” Julian said. “Leo would like to see the financial reports for the last three years, and if I could see the updates on the city projects Tony mentioned last time? I believe he said he was expecting them any day.” Daniel went to fetch the files. All of this could have been done anytime. What was the tearing hurry about four pm on a Thursday afternoon? Leo went over the financial reports carefully, passing each to Zachary and Julian for

their perusal too. Daniel had to do nothing but pass over the occasional folder, and once, fetch another file. Mr Stern or his secretary could have done this just as well, and often did so. Half past four went, then five. That was his train missed then. “Excuse me,” he said. “Would you mind if I just made a call to Tony? To let him know I’ll be late.” “Now Daniel,” Leo said, pinning him with his sharp eyes. “I told you not to worry. I assure you what we’re doing here is much more important than meeting Mr Noble on time. Or do you think you know better than Mr Stern?” “No, sir. I’m sorry.” “Apology accepted. Now, tell me about the company. How do you like working here?” Daniel did his best to sound positive. Leo wanted to know about his background, his education, and without even trying, managed to elicit the facts about Daniel’s parents. Zachary Ledbetter listened intently as Daniel told that part of his story, nodding with apparent sympathy from time to time. When Daniel was done, Julian took his husband’s hand. “Zachary lost his parents when he was seven.” “I’m sorry,” Daniel said. “So am I,” Zachary said, sadness briefly clouding his brilliant green eyes. “You’re one of the few people who knows the truth of that, I’m sure.” He looked at his watch, and something passed between him and Julian. Julian looked at Leo. “Not long now,” Leo said, apparently apropos of nothing. “Perhaps another cup of tea, Julian? Daniel, I would love a fresh glass of water.” After half past five now. Daniel suppressed a sigh. “Certainly. Tea, Mr Ledbetter?” “Yes, thank you.” Even with the fresh drinks consumed, and all the files gone over in minute detail, his visitors were still in no hurry to leave. It was now after six. Daniel began to wonder if Leo was a little dotty, or if he’d been set up for a particularly elaborate practical joke. “Will Mr Stern be joining us?” he asked. “Yes. In fact, now, I believe. Edward, how nice to meet you finally.” Daniel scrabbled to his feet as the company head walked in. “Leo, you too. Sorry about the circumstances though. Daniel.” Daniel jerked, not expecting to be addressed. “I need you to come with me.” “And that’s our cue to depart, Julian. Daniel, Zachary will stay a little longer for reasons that will become clear.” Julian helped Leo stand, then Leo laid his hand on Daniel’s arm. “I want you to know that you have my full support, and that of my family.” “Thank you, sir, but support for what?” “Daniel, this way, please.” For tuppence, Daniel would have stamped his foot and yelled “No!” He really didn’t

appreciate not being told what was going on, or being ordered about like cattle. But with Mr Stern in front of him, and Zachary Ledbetter behind him, he had no choice but to let himself be taken up two floors to Mr Stern’s office, and into the adjoining meeting room. Another shock awaited him—a man he didn’t know stood there, along with Spen. Kani squeaked excitedly when he saw Spen and Myko, but Daniel made him shush. “What’s going on?” he demanded. “Spen? Why are you here?” “Daniel, this is Detective Inspector Shah,” Mr Stern said. “He needs to talk to you. Spencer will explain, and Zachary has offered to be your legal advisor if you so wish it.” “Legal....” He gripped the back of a chair because his knees had gone weak. “Am I under arrest?” “Absolutely not,” Detective Shah said. “Please, Daniel, do sit down. Mr Reardon will explain. Thank you, Mr Stern.” “I’ll be in my office,” Mr Stern said. “Daniel, you are not in trouble.” “Thank you,” Daniel whispered. He slid into the chair he’d been using as support, and held Kani protectively close to his chest. Everyone else took a seat, then Zachary spoke quietly to his beautiful kem who then disappeared. “Has something happened to Dee and Alex? Spen?” “No, no. Daniel, everyone’s okay. Dee and Alex are perfectly safe with Mum and Dad. This is about Tony and the conference.” Daniel started to stand, but Zachary placed his hand on his arm, so he stopped. “I told you I didn’t want to pursue that,” he growled. “I know, but things have moved on. Inspector?” Shah coughed. “Daniel, Tony Noble’s just been arrested at the hotel where you and he were to meet.” “What? Why?” “Because he’s been buying GHB over the internet, using his office laptop,” Spen said. “I asked Jyoti to check the disk image backups and it’s all there. Not just his internet searches, but also the emails confirming purchases. He’s a fucking techno-idiot, thank god.” “We found a Class C substance in his home,” the inspector added, “and doctored bottles of mineral water in the hotel room which we suspect also contain this drug. We also, uh, found pictures on his phone. Pictures of you. Naked.” Daniel covered his mouth, wanting to puke. Kani meeped in concern, nudging his arm. “I’ll get some water,” Spen said, rising to fetch it from a metal jug standing on a tray at the side. “Daniel, I just need to ask this to rule it out,” Inspector Shah said. “Are you in a sexual relationship with Tony Noble?” Daniel shook his head. “Have you ever had sex

with him? Did you give him permission to take photos of you naked?” “No, never,” Daniel whispered. “It was him?” “Yes, we believe so. Security footage at the hotel doesn’t back up his version of what happened that night. We’ve got him on the drug charge, no question. We can get him on administering a toxic substance and sexual assault, if you give a statement.” “I don’t remember anything.” Spen returned with the water, and nudged the glass towards Daniel when he ignored it. Daniel took a sip, but nearly gagged on it. “I understand. All we need from you is what you do remember, and whether or not you consented to photographs and the sex.” “I can’t. I don’t want to drag my family into this.” “Daniel,” Spen said. “He’s done it before. His last PA left because Tony pressured him into sex and took photos of him. The one before him left because Tony made advances. They didn’t want a fuss either, which is why you were victimised. Do you want this to go on and on? Another young man who needs a job badly enough to ignore what’s been obvious for some time?” Daniel glared with the full force of his sick betrayal. “You lied to me. You said you’d drop it. I told you I didn’t want to pursue it.” “Yes. But I wanted you not to be drugged and raped tonight more than I wanted you to like me.” Zachary interrupted the staring match. “Inspector Shah, I believe you need Daniel to make the statement at the station. Daniel, if you consent to this, I can sit in with you to advise you or answer any legal questions you may have.” “I haven’t consented.” The inspector sighed. “At the moment, Daniel, the drug charges will probably result in a fine. Mr Stern is prepared to sack Noble for that alone, but he’ll just move on to another post and carry out his harassment elsewhere. With your statement, and the supporting evidence we have, we might be able to make sexual assault stick, and that puts him on the register. He won’t be able to find another job without disclosing his record. No more victims.” “My duty is to my family first, not strangers.” “What if it was Alex in his first job?” Spen said. Daniel stood, holding his stomach. Kani, who’d been very quiet all this time, licked his cheek to comfort him. “My brother and sister. The publicity. They’ve already been through so much.” “Your name will be kept out of the media,” Detective Shah said. “That’s standard in a sexual assault case.” “What if he gets off?”

“He’s still on our radar. And he’ll still have a conviction. I want this guy, Daniel. He’s a rapist. Don’t let him walk.” Daniel turned to Zachary. “What do you think?” “He’s correct about your identity being protected. I can’t promise Noble would be convicted of assault charges, but Mr Stern is certainly going to fire him. He was simply waiting for confirmation of the drug purchase. He’s formally suspended without pay, and I believe the usual disciplinary proceedings will proceed quite quickly.” “You knew,” Daniel said, staring at Spen. “This afternoon, you knew what was going to happen.” “Yes. We had to lull him into a false sense of security. Daniel, there was no breakfast meeting. He had drugged mineral water waiting for you. He was going to do it again. He was going to attack you. He’d do it as often as he could get away with it.” Daniel sat again, not sure if he could prevent himself from vomiting. He shook his head as Zachary offered him the water. “Perhaps we could leave it until tomorrow?” Zachary said. “If necessary. Noble will get bail if we do. He won’t on a sexual assault charge, not without conditions. We can make sure he stays away from you and your family.” Daniel chewed his lip. He’d wanted to avoid all this, but maybe his objections didn’t amount to much now. “I’ll do it,” he said. “But for the record, I really hate you for doing this,” he said to Spen. “I’m sorry.” Spen stood. Myko gave Daniel a strangely disappointed look, his tail drooping. Kani squeaked at his friend, but Myko’s human didn’t look at him. “Mr Stern will want a quick word, and then I’ll head off. Thank you, Zachary.” “You’re welcome. You’ve done good work.” Daniel gave his ‘informal advisor’ a glare for that, but Zachary didn’t blink. Spen sent one last look of appeal Daniel’s way, but Daniel didn’t soften, so he left, and shortly after, Mr Stern came in. “Daniel, I’m very sorry to hear what’s happened. You and I will have to talk about your future here, but for now, I want you to take tomorrow and the next week off on paid leave. I believe the police have to confiscate computers and so on, so you’ll need to stay out of the way. If Noble attempts to contact you—” “You tell us,” Inspector Shah said. “I have a car downstairs. Thank you, Mr Stern.” Daniel felt too numb, too betrayed, to even look at his boss as the officer led them out to the lifts. “Who knows?” he asked Zachary. Inspector Shah was talking on his phone, paying them no attention. “Myself, Julian, Leo, Spencer, his assistant, Jyoti, and Mr Stern. Mr Stern is very anxious to keep this quiet for now. If and when Noble is charged, there will likely be

media coverage. A regrettable amount of gossip will inevitably follow, if my own office is any indication.” “Wonderful. I guess this job is toast anyway.” “Why would you want to continue working for a man like that?” Zachary asked. “I don’t. But I need a job.” He didn’t feel like explaining all the issues involved in that need. He didn’t want to be here at all. “You need friends more,” Zachary said, still with the stiff formality that coloured everything he’d said so far. “I learned this from Julian.” “The only friend I’ve got just stabbed me in the back.” The inspector turned. Apparently he had been listening after all. “That friend just saved you from sexual assault, maybe even death, if Noble had got his dose wrong.” “He has a point,” Zachary said. “I believe Spencer acted from the finest motives.” Daniel didn’t know what to say to that. Spen had lied to him. Spen had saved his bacon, maybe his life. Spen had just lost him a job he needed to prove he could look after Dee and Alex. Spen had just saved him from a job that was ruining his life. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he muttered. The process of making the statement was easier than he expected. He thought he’d have to sit in one of those horrible interview rooms like they used on TV cop shows, but instead Inspector Shah took them all to a room with ordinary sofas, offered him tea, and took him carefully but not unsympathetically through the events of that evening, and his relationship with Tony. Zachary asked his kem to come out, and Kani’s respectful playing with the lovely creature offered some welcome distraction at points of stress. The inspector was considerate about breaks too, and everyone was remarkably patient. Still, Daniel had a headache and a stomach that still wanted to turn inside out by the time he was asked to sign the statement the inspector had typed up for him. “Is it enough to convict him of rape?” The inspector grimaced. “It’s always difficult to prosecute that, Daniel, and with you being the only witness and having no memory of the event, that’s not going to help. However, we do have a good deal of solid circumstantial evidence supporting your version of events and directly contradicting his, so I’ll push hard for it. The drugs and the pictures are definitely going to get him into trouble. The final decision on the exact charges isn’t up to me. You haven’t wasted your time here, I promise you.” Daniel shrugged. “Can I go now?” “Yes, of course.” The inspector turned and fetched something from the table behind him. “Ah, you might want to look at this too. I’ll have Victim Support contact you, and they can give you more information about counselling and so on. Medical tests as well.” It was the same damn pamphlet Spen had offered him. Daniel shoved it into his

pocket with a muttered “thanks”, and looked at Zachary. “Thank you, inspector,” Zachary said, getting to his feet. His kem positioned himself gracefully along Zachary’s shoulders again. “I’ll advise you if Daniel decides to engage another legal advisor.” “That’s fine. Thank you, Daniel. It took courage to come here tonight.” No, just a pushy ‘friend’, he thought. Zachary called Julian, and then ordered a taxi. They stood outside the station to wait. “How much will this cost me?” “Nothing, for now. You’ll be told if you need to incur any costs.” “Why? You don’t know me.” “As a favour to Julian, and because I don’t need your money.” His features softened. “I realise the job situation makes it awkward, but I believe you’ll look back in a few months and be grateful to Spencer, and that you took this step.” “Maybe. I guess they’ll have to fire me. I mean, if Tony’s getting the boot. I haven’t even finished probation.” “Very likely they will want to let you go just to draw a line under this episode, and frankly, I think it’s the best for you. However, there’s no reason at all we can’t make that departure as favourable to you as possible. When Mr Stern contacts you, I would suggest you have me attend the meeting with you, if you permit it. At the very least, I strongly advise you not to accept anything he offers until you discuss it with me or another solicitor, and make sure it’s all put in writing. Your company put you at risk, and you suffered directly as a result. I don’t see why they shouldn’t pay handsomely for that.” “Sue?” Daniel’s voice came out in a squeak. Kani copied him, which only made it more mortifying. “I doubt that will be necessary. Mr Stern is very embarrassed about this, and what Julian discovered regarding the other staff members. At the very least, we can obtain a cushion for you while you look elsewhere, and very likely the cost of any counselling you wish to undertake. If you spend any money at all regarding this, keep receipts.” “Okay.” Daniel couldn’t think about this at all. He barely cared. He just wanted to go home...oh but Dee and Alex wouldn’t be there. He’d be in the house alone. Just great. Zachary had the taxi drop him off at home first. “Here’s my card, and on the back is Julian’s number. He asked me specifically to tell you to call him if you want any help at all. He and Leo have taken this very much to heart, on my account, and on Spencer’s.” “No need,” Daniel mumbled. “I’ve learned arguing with either of them is a waste of time,” Zachary said with a slight smile. “Good night...and good luck.” “Thanks.” The taxi drove off. Daniel walked up the dimly lit path. The porch light came on as he took his key out.

“Daniel?” He dropped the key in shock and whirled, hand in his pocket on his mobile phone ready to call the police. “Who’s there? Come out!”

Chapter 12 “You should talk to him.” “He’s furious with me, Jules. I went behind his back.” “Yeah but...talk to him, Beanie. The poor sod needs a friend. Even Zachary noticed.” “You dissing your husband?” “Hey, I love him more than life but he doesn’t exactly do nuance, you know? Beanie, go over there. The worst thing that can happen is that he’ll yell at you again, and maybe he needs to. You know you did what you had to do. So...be strong for him.” “Why don’t you talk to him, Julian? He likes you.” Spen’s friend sighed. “He likes you more. That’s why he’s upset.” “He’s upset because I lied to him and lost him his bloody job. And you know, I don’t blame him.” “Then tell him.” Spen’s turn to sigh. “Okay. I should check on him anyway.” He walked towards the stairs, and down them, still holding the phone to his ear. “You do that. And Leo wants you both to come for supper. He wants to talk to Daniel about his future, and he wants you to back him up.” “Your boss is really making him a project, isn’t he?” “He feels a little guilty at tricking him. But mostly he hates to see talent wasted, and Daniel is that in spades.” “He is. Let me know when, but don’t be surprised if he says no.” “I won’t. Leo won’t let it go, though. He doesn’t know the word.” “Hah, makes two of you.” “Taught me all I know. Talk soon, Spen.” “Thanks, Julian. For everything.” “You’re welcome. Now go!” “Going, going....” He snatched up the keys to his mother’s car as he disconnected in the kitchen. “Heading over to Daniel’s,” he told her as she looked at him. Dee and Alex were in the living room, talking to Spen’s Dad. Both his parents had known well in advance what was likely to happen this evening, and their support had helped Spen through this. “Do you need your car in the morning?” “No, love, I can take the bus in, if you pick me up in the afternoon. Stay with him or bring him back, Spencer. The child shouldn’t be alone.” “No, he shouldn’t. Thanks, Mum.” He kissed her cheek. “At some point, the kids will have to be told. He might need our help for that.” “Of course. He doesn’t have to do this on his own. You make sure you tell him.”

“I will.” Spen pulled up near the front of Daniel’s house just a minute or so before a taxi stopped outside. He wasn’t completely sure it was Daniel and Zachary’s, until Daniel climbed out and walked up the path. His shoulders were hunched, and he looked defeated and tired as he approached the front door. Spen climbed out of the car and walked quickly to catch his friend up. “Daniel?” He’d assumed Daniel would have heard his footsteps, but mentally slapped himself for stupidity as Daniel turned in fright, dropping his key ring. “Who’s there? Come out!” “It’s only me. Calm down.” Daniel collapsed against the front door. Spen picked the fallen keys and handed them to him. Daniel snatched the keys away. “What the hell are you doing here, Spen?” “Checking on you. Why don’t you let yourself in?” “Why don’t you bugger off?” Daniel said, but without any great force behind it. When he opened the door, and Spen followed him in, he didn’t actually protest. “I’m going to change. You’re not welcome, you realise.” “Yeah, I do. I’ll make something for you to eat while you change.” Daniel made a face and headed towards the stairs. So far things weren’t as horrible as they could be, but there was plenty of time for them to deteriorate. Spen didn’t really have a plan, or know the first thing about how to handle someone in Daniel’s situation. Or how to get past the fact that he’d been hiding and lying to the kid about some important stuff, and now Daniel would know just how far those lies and omissions went. There were proper meals in the freezer, but Spen decided scrambled eggs were as inoffensive and easy to digest as anything else in the fridge. He was just serving up as Daniel came back, now dressed in T-shirt and jeans. Kani ran over and jumped up onto the kitchen counter so he could lick Myko, but Kani’s human was a lot less friendly. “I don’t need you to cook for me. I’m not hungry.” “Too bad.” Spen set the plate in front of him. “Eat. If you want to be angry, at least do it with food in your stomach.” Daniel narrowed his eyes at him, and stabbed the eggs with a fork. “Why are you here?” Spen sat down. “You eat, I’ll talk. Then you can yell. Deal?” Daniel gave him a disgusted look. “There’s a lot to talk about. Eat. Please, Daniel.” Daniel rolled his eyes, but ate a forkful of food. He winced a little, but a second forkful followed. Spen got up and poured him some milk, which went down easily too. After a few more mouthfuls, Daniel muttered, “Okay, talk.” “First of all, I’m sorry. I knew you’d be angry, and you’re right to be. I lied to you, we tricked you, and I screwed things up so far as working there is concerned. I don’t

blame you a bit. But,” he added, folding his arms, “I wouldn’t change a damn thing. Noble’s a dangerous criminal, and he needs to be stopped.” “You already said all this,” Daniel said, before drinking more milk. “I’m not stupid. But now I have to deal with the mess you left me in.” “Yes, but not alone. We all want to help. Julian, Leo, Zachary, Mum, Dad....” “You?” Daniel finally asked when Spen didn’t continue. “Yeah, of course.” “Why? I’m nothing to you.” “Didn’t we already have this conversation?” “Yeah. You lied to me. You already had Tony’s number. You were already investigating him. I was just...collateral damage.” “You think this is about him?” Daniel shrugged. “Why would I give a damn about him if it wasn’t for you?” “Why wouldn’t you trust me with the truth if sticking it to him wasn’t the most important thing? You hurt me because I might damage your lovely set up. Well, nice work. Now the world knows my business, I have to dump a load of crap on my sister the week of her exams, every man and his mutt wants to inspect my arse and counsel my poor victimised mind, and...that’s all I am to you. Poor little orphan rape victim Daniel.” Spen sat there, stunned by the volume and ferocity of Daniel’s complaint. Daniel’s cheeks had high spots of colour in them, and his green eyes blazed with fury. “You’ve got it all wrong,” Spen murmured. “Really. I don’t care. I’ve managed just fine without anyone’s help since Mum and Dad died, and I’ll get through this too. Everyone wants me to fall apart because Tony stuck his dick up my arse without permission. I’m telling you, that’s nothing compared to getting a call from the police to tell you your parents are unrecognisable smears of bloody meat under three tons of concrete. Nothing.” “Daniel—” “Shut up. My turn.” He pushed his plate away. “Why didn’t you tell me you were investigating him? About the drugs?” “Because you’d made it clear you didn’t want to know. I didn’t know what we had until we had it, and then I didn’t have a choice any more. I had to go to the police.” “And today? With Julian? Why not just tell me what you were doing, what the police were doing?” “Because...we didn’t want you to accidentally tip him off.” Daniel’s lips thinned dangerously. “And why the hell would I do that to someone planning to rape me, Spen?” “I...didn’t think you were acting all that rationally. You were in denial. You were,”

he insisted as Daniel glared. “You wouldn’t bring the police before....” “For perfectly good reasons.” Spen made a “well, okay, then” gesture. “What do you want me to do? What can I say to make it better?” “You can’t.” Daniel took his plate and glass to the sink and started to wash them up with what seemed like a good deal more splash and noise than was strictly necessary. Spen waited, out of his depth and not at all sure coming over hadn’t made it worse. When Daniel finished, he threw the tea towel at the hook and turned around to glare at Spen. “Okay, you apologised. I think you’ve done enough for one night, don’t you? Go home.” “What about you?” “I’m fine.” “Mum said I should bring you back.” “No thanks. I’ve been coping on my own, and I can keep on doing that.” He scooped up Kani and walked out. Since he didn’t come back after five minutes, Spen figured he was dismissed. Okay, so now things were as horrible as they could be. He hadn’t done enough. He hadn’t done anything like enough. He couldn’t leave Daniel like this, so brittle and furious and with so much hurt in his eyes. He wasn’t the right person to help but there wasn’t anyone else who could. Julian would be better than this. His mum would be better. But they weren’t here. So, knowing he wasn’t wanted, he went in search of his friend. He found him in the living room, on the sofa, his knees under his chin and giving the world a thousand yard stare. Kani lay alongside Daniel’s thigh, ignored but refusing to abandon his human. Spen sat down beside the two of them. Myko climbed down his arm and gave Kani a cuddle. Spen wished he could do the same for Daniel. “You’re wrong about one thing, you know. I don’t see you as a victim. Not just as a victim.” Daniel didn’t react. “You really are a friend. I’d do this for anyone I thought was being set up for assault. But I wouldn’t be so upset that they were angry at me.” Daniel glanced sidelong at him. “Only what you deserve.” “I guess. So, how have you been, really?” “None of your business.” “For God’s sake, Daniel. Throw me a bone here. You’re behaving like it’s been a ball of laughs for me to find out what Noble’s been doing to you and the others.” “You never liked him.” “No. But that’s different from knowing he was drugging and raping people.” Daniel buried his chin lower. “Poor Spen.”

“Yeah, poor, poor, pitiful me. And now someone I really like, who my mother really likes, who one of my closest friends really likes, thinks I’m a shit because I give a damn about him. Sucks to be me.” “Yeah, doesn’t it.” Spen shook his head. “Right. Well, when you’re ready to talk, you know my number. I want to help you, but I guess you really don’t need it. See you around, Daniel.” He stood up. Myko protested, and kept his possessive hold on Kani. Daniel said nothing, didn’t even move. “’Night,” Spen said, and headed towards the door. Myko didn’t go with him, but Spen trusted him to do what was right, even if no one else knew what it was. He heard Daniel say something. “What?” he asked without turning. “I don’t hate you. I just...wish....” Spen turned. Daniel was still in the curled up position, face half-buried by his knees. “What do you wish, kiddo?” He half-expected Daniel to gripe about the nickname, but he didn’t. “I wish I could go back to before.” Spen came closer. “Before...?” Daniel looked up, his eyes brimming with tears. “To when I didn’t know,” he whispered. Spen knelt in front of him, and put his hands over Daniel’s. “I know. Damn it, I wanted to be wrong. I wanted not to find what we did. I wanted...it almost sounds worse...but I wanted you to have slipped out of the hotel for an anonymous shag or something. I knew that wasn’t likely, but the truth was worse.” “Yeah.” Daniel wiped his eyes on his knees, then looked up again, not really at Spen, but something in his inner thoughts. “He seemed so kind. I mean, annoying, but he seemed to care about...you know. I wanted to believe it wasn’t him, but part of me must have known. When you told me what they’d found, I wasn’t really surprised. I was just angry.” “At me.” “Yeah. But I should have been angrier at him. I can’t seem to get that angry at him. I’m numb. I believe it was him but I don’t....” “Know it?” “No. I wasn’t there. I didn’t see it for myself.” “No.” He squeezed Daniel’s hands. “Want me to hang around for a bit?” Daniel shrugged, so Spen climbed up on the sofa. He kept a small but distinct space between them, not wanting to appear intrusive. “Daniel, there are people who can—” “I don’t want people. I don’t want to tell some stranger about this. I don’t want to

talk about it at all. I want to get past it.” “Pretend it never happened?” “If I have to.” “That’ll be hard with the court case coming up.” “Maybe they won’t charge him with rape. The inspector said they might not be able to.” “Right. What did Zachary say?” “The same. He wants the company to pay compensation for putting me in danger. I don’t really care.” “You might later. Listen to his advice. They want to help.” “Yeah. Now people want to help. Where were they—” He stopped short and covered his face with his hand. “Sorry. Wrong tragedy.” Instinctively, Spen reached for Daniel’s unoccupied hand. “It’s all wrapped up together, Danny. Noball targeted you because you were vulnerable and needed the job. If your parents hadn’t died, you wouldn’t have been there.” Daniel jerked his hand away. “Don’t you dare blame them!” Fuck. “I’m not. I just mean...you can’t separate the two like that. You don’t have to. Noble’s a predator. He looks for young guys like you. Jan’s mother was dying of cancer when Noble hired him. The one before that? Had been in a car accident in which his boyfriend was killed.” “Lovely.” “Yeah, only not. So if you need to talk about your parents—” “I don’t. I don’t need anything. I manage just fine.” Spen’s temper snapped. “Did it ever occur to you that the reason people didn’t help you when they died is because every time someone tries, you slap them away? I keep telling you there are people who want to help you—people like Mum and Dad who aren’t just offering, but who are doing—and still you’re whining about no one helping you. Even a saint would get sick of that shit after a while.” Daniel gave him a teary, startled look. “I never...no one offered, except our grandparents. Not practical offers we could use. You and your Mum...you’re the first.” “And the last, if you keep pushing me away. Danny, I’m here. I want to help. I care.” “You think I’m a pathetic kid.” “No. I think you’ve had a hell of a lot of bad luck, but you’ve done more than most could have. You’re not pathetic. Annoying, ungrateful, rude and contradictory, yeah, but not pathetic.” Daniel’s eyes widened in surprise. “Wow, I’m really feeling the sympathy.” “You don’t want sympathy. You want it all to go away. Well, I can’t make that

happen. I can talk, I can sit with you, even all night if you want. I can listen to you yell or cry or talk or whatever you want. I can make you coffee or cocoa or tea. I can get you drunk, or keep an eye on you while you sleep. I can do a lot of things, Danny, but making the bad shit not happen isn’t one of them. I don’t think you’re weak or pathetic or stupid or that you did anything to bring this on yourself, but it happened, and pretending it didn’t won’t work.” “No, I suppose not.” Daniel rubbed his eyes again. “I’m so tired,” he murmured. “It’s funny. I’d almost been looking forward to going to the hotel because I might sleep.” “Not sleeping here?” “No. Not in my bed. Down here sometimes.” “Nightmares?” “No. Something...something worse. I lie in bed and...I don’t want it to happen, but it just does. I start replaying what I remember of what happened just before...in the bar, I mean.” “When you went for drinks with him and the others?” “Yeah. I get to a certain point and then there’s this...nothing.” He shivered. “I feel like I’m falling into the hole where the memory should be. Being swallowed by the nothing.” He shrugged. “Then I get up and come downstairs, read until I sleep. Sometimes it takes a while to happen.” “You could have taken time off.” “Yeah, right. I thought I’d already labelled myself a drunk. I didn’t know the man I was trying to prove something to was behind it.” Spen touched his shoulder, then remembered why that was a bad idea. He pulled his hand away. “Sorry.” “Why? I don’t mind.” As if to prove the point, Kani climbed up onto Daniel’s shoulder and looked at Spen, as if to ask him why he couldn’t make such a natural gesture of comfort. Spen patted Kani, but was careful not to touch Daniel again. Daniel turned to look at him. “What’s wrong, Spen?” “I don’t want to be...you know, like him. Always patting you.” Daniel grimaced. “That I won’t miss. I hated that. I thought he was just friendly, but I guess he was feeling out the territory.” “Yes, he was. Softening you up. I hated seeing him do it.” “That night! You saw him on the security video, didn’t you?” Busted. “Yeah. And while I’m being honest...I knew about your family before you told me. Luke, uh, had been investigating. Because he’d heard rumours not everything was on the up and up with your recruitment.” “Oh great. More people to avoid. But I suppose I don’t have to worry about that now.

I mean, since I won’t be going back.” He said it without any nastiness in his tone, just the resignation of someone used to hearing bad news. “Doesn’t mean we have to lose touch,” Spen said. “Oh sure. We can get together and reminisce about how Tony hired me to be his boyfriend, and how you thwarted his evil rape plans. Yeah, a barrel of laughs for young and old.” Kani meeped at Spen, and batted at his hand. When Spen lifted it away, thinking it was annoying the little guy, Kani stamped his foot—and so did Myko. What the hell? He put his hand gingerly on Daniel’s shoulder, and Kani trilled, stroking his fingers with his tail. Ah, that’s what he wanted. Not subtle at all, kems. “That’s not all we can talk about.” “Maybe,” Daniel said, leaning ever so slightly into his touch. “I can’t think, Spen. Look, I’m just going to try and sleep down here. You should go home.” “I can stay. Mum doesn’t need the car in the morning, and I wasn’t planning to go into work.” “You shouldn’t....” “What?” “Rearrange your life for me.” Spen squeezed Daniel’s shoulder. “I’m not. I’m helping a friend out. You shouldn’t be on your own, Danny.” Daniel’s eyes closed. Spen thought it was in pleasure, but it might have been pure exhaustion. “Why do you call me that?” “Dunno. You just look more like a Danny than a Daniel. Not a Dan, though.” “Never. Dad called me Danny.” “You want me to stop?” “No. Unless you’re being sarcastic, I don’t mind.” He unfolded his legs and leaned back against the sofa cushions. “I don’t mind if you stay, but where will you sleep?” “Here? On the armchair? Or next to you? What would you like?” “Here,” Daniel murmured. “S’nice. Really, really tired....” “Get comfortable then. I’ll fetch a blanket.” “On the chair,” Daniel said, a massive yawn half-swallowing his words. Spen looked around and noticed two neatly folded blankets and a pillow on the armchair near the window. He rose to fetch them. Myko stayed where he was, lying against Daniel’s thigh, Kani cuddled in his arms. So sweet. And too tempting an idea. He draped a blanket over Daniel, and shoved the pillow under his unresisting head. He curled up at the other end of the sofa, but his long legs weren’t made for that kind of position. Try as he might to discreetly arrange himself, he couldn’t get comfortable.

“Maybe we should move up to your bed,” he grumbled. Daniel’s head snapped up, and Spen realised what it had sounded like as those green eyes bored into him. “Shit, I’m sorry. Forget I said anything.” Daniel continued to stare. He was starting to freak Spen out a little. “Daniel? I said forget it.” “What if I don’t want to?” “Look, don’t you think I’ve apologised enough—” “I think it’s a great idea. If you don’t mind.” “I wasn’t really thinking.” Daniel sagged back. “Oh. Okay. I guess you think it’s a bit skeevy, with me being the poor rape victim and everything.” Spen spat out a curse which made Kani squeak and Myko bat at Spen’s leg with a clawed paw in reproach. “Will you lay off with that shit? I was trying to be considerate!” “So was I. You’re never going to sleep down here like that, Beanpole.” The use of Julian’s nickname forced a laugh out of him. “Watch it, squirt.” Daniel smiled a little. “All right. If you’re okay with us sleeping upstairs and you think it’ll help, then sure. But if you don’t want me to be here....” Daniel reached out from under the blanket and clutched at Spen’s arm. “Stay? Please?” The raw need in Daniel’s voice plucked at heartstrings Spen didn’t even know he owned. “Okay,” he said, his voice gone a little gravelly with emotion. “Why don’t you...um...go brush your teeth and stuff? I’ll clear up here. Is there a spare toothbrush anywhere?” “Yeah, Mum keeps them...I mean, kept them in the bathroom. I’ll leave one out for you.” “Thanks.” He ruffled Daniel’s hair, aiming for casual, but he couldn’t miss the way Daniel pushed against his fingers, as if looking for more contact. When had anyone last held the guy? “See you upstairs. Come on, Kani.” He disentangled himself from the blanket and stood. “You go with him, Myko. Be a chaperone.” Daniel turned around and stuck his tongue out at him, while Kani crossly stamped his foot. Myko made the most peculiar noise, almost like a real growl. It sounded disapproving, for sure. “That’s me told then,” Spen said, amused as hell at the display of childishness. “Yes, it is. Come on, you guys.”

~~~~~~~~

Spen took his time wiping down the kitchen counter, putting away dishes, waiting until he could hear nothing from the upper floor before climbing the stairs. He used the toothbrush left there for him, and washed his face. Shit, he looked nearly as wrecked as Daniel, but then he hadn’t been sleeping too well either. Keeping secrets from his friends and worrying about whether the police would really nail Noble as they hoped, hadn’t been good for him, or fun of any kind at all. Even if Daniel hadn’t forgiven him—he had forgiven him, hadn’t he?—Spen would feel better just because he no longer had the burden of those secrets. Of course it wasn’t over, and he wasn’t naïve enough to believe the next few weeks and months would be a ball of laughs for Daniel as he waited for Noble’s prosecution. But now, they could talk about it. That was if he didn’t screw up tonight. God, did Danny boy have any idea what he was asking? But Spen had suggested it and he only had his own big mouth to blame. They’d shared a room, even shared a bed watching movies. He could do this, play the good buddy, keep the scary emptiness from descending for one night at least. Daniel didn’t want more, and even if he did, now was so not the time to give it. Okay, he admitted it. He was out of his depth. Completely. He was running on instinct, but his instincts had never had to deal with this situation. What if he did screw it up? He’d already hurt Daniel, risked losing his trust forever, even if there hadn’t been any alternative. This could be much, much worse. He sighed. Nothing for it now, he supposed. He left the bathroom and entered Daniel’s bedroom, which was opposite. Daniel was curled up under the covers, facing away from him on the far side of the wide single bed. Spen couldn’t see the kems which probably meant they were cuddling against Daniel’s chest. Oh, hell. What should he wear? Jeans were buggers of things to sleep in. “I’ve already seen you in your underwear,” Daniel muttered, reading his mind. “Okay. This is a little weird for me, just so you know,” Spen said, shucking his jeans and folding them over a chair. He kept his T-shirt on, not having a vest on underneath. “If you think I’m going to jump you, you’re so far off track you have no idea.” “Of course not. You’re being a bit of a prick.” He heard a tiny chuckle. “Yeah. Get into bed, Spen. I just want to sleep.” “Me too.” He switched off the bedside lamp, then climbed into the bed and under the covers, trying very hard not to touch Daniel. An effort wasted by the fact that Daniel immediately rolled over and snuggled up to him. “Whoa. You little shit, you’re testing me.” Another laugh. “Not really.” He looked up at Spen. “I need to feel you’re here. I don’t want to be alone.”

Spen stroked the hair back off Daniel’s face, and maybe fell in love just a little harder than he had before. “You’re not,” he whispered. He put his arm over Daniel, and Daniel sighed. “Go to sleep, Danny. We’ve got you.” Daniel nodded, moving in a little closer. The kems decided now was a good time to emerge and crawl up onto the pillows, sitting on their humans’ heads—only Myko sat on Daniel’s, Kani on Spen’s. I know what you little brats are up to. Myko opened one eye to look at him, then pretended to go back to sleep. Not fooling me, squirt. A tiny pink tongue emerged from Myko’s mouth to give his opinion of Spen’s thoughts. Daniel was already asleep—really asleep, not faking. Poor sod must really have been sleep-deprived. Spen relaxed. This was what he was here for, to help the kid get some rest. Even the kems had settled down and if they were too tired to play, then sleep was a damn good idea. He closed his eyes, and dropped off before he had time to wonder if he would. He woke with a heart-stopping jerk, instinctively reaching out to protect his companion. He met Daniel’s arm, and feeling down, realised Daniel had his T-shirt fisted in a death grip. He wrapped his arms around Daniel and hugged him tight. “It’s okay. You’re safe. I’m here, Danny.” He spoke quietly, his thumbs stroking Daniel’s back to soothe him. In the dark he couldn’t see the kems, but one of them brushed against his hand so he knew they were doing their bit. “I’m okay now,” Daniel mumbled after a minute or so, letting go of Spen’s shirt. “Sorry.” “No problem. Nightmare?” “No. Panic, like I said. Fear of falling. I don’t have nightmares. I have dreams of...nice things that I can’t have any more.” Spen kept up his soothing thumb massage. “Sucks.” “Really. I’m okay, honest. You don’t have to....” “Want me to stop?” “No. Yes. I mean....” “I like doing it. Does that bother you? I’ll stop if it does.” “No. I like it.” Daniel went still. Spen kept on, but he sensed something had shifted. With anyone else, in any other place, he would know where this could go. But with Daniel.... “Danny?” “Yeah?” “Danny...uh...look....” “Spen, if I wasn’t a poor pathetic orphan rape victim...would you be here now?” “No. But only because...well, we work together. We wouldn’t even do that if...uh....”

“I wasn’t a poor pathetic orphan?” “Come on, kid, knock that off. I just meant we wouldn’t have met. It’s not a fair question.” “No.” Daniel moved closer, his face against Spen’s chest, his breath warming his skin. Spen tried to think of designing security routines, data capture screens for teachers, anything boring and annoying enough to stop his body reacting to the gentle, tormenting sensation. “Spen, if I tell you something now, here...would you be prepared to forget it in the morning and never mention it again?” “I can’t promise to forget, but I won’t ever mention it unless you do. Uh...it’s not about him, is it? I mean, it’s nothing to do with the police—” “No, no. I don’t think so.” “Because I can’t hide stuff from them. Not if it affects that.” “I have a crush on you. Like, the world’s biggest. Supernova-sized.” Spen’s laugh of pure relief escaped before he could choke it off. Daniel tried to pull away, obviously hurt, but Spen held him tight. “No, Danny, don’t. I’m not laughing at you. I thought you might tell me you had a crush on...well, you know.” Daniel shivered. “I couldn’t. He gives me the creeps.” “I bet.” Spen reached up to find Daniel’s hair, and tangled his fingers in it. “You don’t want me to mention it?” “No. Because...you’ll treat me differently. You’ll think I wanted you to stay because of that and I didn’t. I just...I needed someone to be with me so much. I feel like I’m losing control.” Despite himself, and knowing he was letting more of his real feelings show than he really ought to, Spen kissed Daniel’s head. “I know why you wanted me to stay, Danny boy. I offered first, remember?” Daniel relaxed a little. “Yeah. But I want us to be friends, so I never said anything. I never would have said anything, because we worked together, and because I need you to be my friend. I don’t need more.” Spen hugged him harder. “What if I wanted to offer you more?” “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” “I’m really not. You’re always telling me how I feel. This is how I really feel.” He kissed Daniel’s hair again, then bent lower and found his mouth, so he could kiss him on the lips. Daniel sighed against his cheek. “Totally lousy timing though.” “I’m sorry.” “Not you, kiddo. Me. Last thing you need is someone else you looked to for help, taking advantage.” “Are you?”

“Trying hard not to.” He stroked Daniel’s hair. “This is such a bad time to be talking about this. We’re tired and the situation is....” “Horrible.” “Yeah, it is. So let’s sleep on it. In the morning, if you don’t mention, I won’t. I never will unless you do. I’ll be your friend, and helping through all this, whatever you say. You’re in control.” “I’m a mess.” “Now you admit it. You’re doing pretty well, Daniel.” “Now you admit it.” Spen chuckled and kissed Daniel’s hair again. “Yeah, I do. Go to sleep, kiddo.” “Don’t call me that, Beanie.” “Okay. Think you can sleep now?” “Maybe. I did better this time. I actually fell asleep for a while before it hit. I think having Myko here helped.” Spen’s kem chirped cheerfully at his name. Spen growled. “Oh, well, if it’s only Myko you need....” He pretended to get off the bed, but relented at Daniel’s desperate grasp. “Hey, only joking.” He wrapped his arms around Daniel again. “Not going anywhere, squirt. Now sleep.” “Thank you.” Daniel buried himself against Spen’s chest. A few quiet squeaks later and their kems had squeezed themselves into the small remaining space between Spen and Daniel’s bodies. Then all was silent and peaceful once more. Spen rested his cheek against Daniel’s head. In the morning, Daniel would probably die of embarrassment thinking about this conversation. That was okay. Mutual attraction wasn’t life and death stuff. What Daniel was coping with every day, and this shit with Noble—now, that was important. Still, nice to know Daniel could still feel something for anyone after what Noble and life had done to him. And it was nice to be one he had feelings for. Spen wouldn’t get his hopes up. He’d enjoy a little cuddle, a little company, not think too much about Rob and missing being with a guy he’d cared for. Not thinking, that would be good for a while too.

Chapter 13 Daniel woke when a bored Kani decided he had slept long enough, and began nibbling his chin. He swatted his annoyed kem away, and his hand brushed someone’s shoulder. That woke him up properly. Then he remembered. Spen. Just to confirm it, Myko peeked over Spen’s shoulder and gave a tiny chirp, answered just as discreetly by Kani. The kems obviously thought Spen needed more rest than Daniel did. Or maybe they wanted to punish him for being such an utter prat. He slid carefully out from under the blankets and bolted for the bathroom to pee and berate himself for stupidity. Spen would hate him for being such a needy little bastard. So much for trying not to be pathetic, and look like a competent adult. A knock on the bathroom door made him jump. “If you’re in there freaking out, Danny boy, wait until you have a cup of tea before you make any big decisions. I’ll go put the kettle on.” “I’m fine!” “Great. I’m still putting the kettle on.” Daniel’s face flushed hot as much from amusement as embarrassment. Spen’s dry sense of humour had been all that had kept him sane at times over the last few months, and it had saved them from undying enmity over Daniel’s horrible behaviour last night. He wouldn’t have blamed Spen if he’d never spoken to him again. But he hadn’t just spoken to him, but had held him. And more. He washed his face again, and when he ducked out, found the bedroom empty, so he could pull on his jeans. Downstairs, Spen stood watching the kettle, still not at boiling point. He was fully dressed, and wearing an apron. It barely cleared his hips, which was both ridiculous and endearing. Kani and Myko chased each other around the living room, clearly bored with human company for the moment. “Hi,” Daniel ventured. Spen turned and gave him a wide smile. “Hey, kid. How did you sleep?” “Better. Um.” He came closer, and on impulse wrapped his arms around Spen. “Don’t hate me?” He felt Spen chuckle, then he put a hand under Daniel’s chin and made him look up. He bent and kissed him on the lips. “Easiest thing anyone ever asked me to do,” he murmured, stroking his hand down Daniel’s hair. Daniel wished he could do the same back. He wanted to know what the short crinkly curls would feel like under his fingers. He wanted to touch Spen’s dark, warm skin, stroke him from top to toe. But then Spen pushed him back carefully. Daniel’s heart sank. “Now, Danny, don’t

get worked up.” Spen leaned over and kissed him again. “Tea?” “Please. I think there’s bread for toast, and Alex likes cereal.” “Tea for now. Sit and I’ll pour.” Another caress to Daniel’s hair eased his anxiety. He sat and enjoyed the simple pleasure of having Spen all to himself, with nothing more pressing than what to eat for breakfast. Spen knew how much milk to add to Daniel’s mug, and did it without checking before putting the tea before him. That sort of cosy, domestic touch could be dangerously easy to grow used to. Spen took a seat and a long slurp of tea, before regarding Daniel with a serious expression. “I had a thought, just before.” “About us?” “Yeah. I told you, don’t get worked up, kiddo.” “How many of your fingers do I have to break to stop you calling me that?” “Three?” Daniel made a face at him. “Look, just drink your tea and listen, okay? I know how I said you were in control here...and you totally are....” “But you don’t really like me that way, right?” Spen set his mug down with a heavy sigh. “Apply that scientific mind of yours to the available evidence, Danny boy. Do I look like someone who’s gone off you?” He reached over to stroke Daniel’s wrist, smiling kindly. Daniel’s heart fluttered a little. He’d always thought that was just a saying, but no, he felt it in his chest. “No,” Daniel managed to get out. “But...?” “But, you suspicious sod, I was thinking about the court case.” Daniel made a face and pushed his mug of tea away. “Oh thanks. I was almost feeling okay.” Spen increased the pressure on Daniel’s wrist, using his thumb to massage the back of his hand. “Hang on a little longer, kid. All I was thinking is that I’ll have to give evidence against Noball, and they might ask me why I got involved. About what my relationship is with you.” “And...you want....” “To be able to answer truthfully that we’re just friends.” Daniel sagged. “Oh.” “Friends who hug a lot.” Daniel grinned. “Kissing too?” Spen’s smile spread like a sunrise. “Maybe now and then.” “Well, if it’ll help put the bastard away....” “I think it might. I don’t want to give them any wriggle room.” “I understand. Um....” Spen held his hand up. “How about more tea and maybe toast before any more big

stuff, okay?” “I’m not five, Spen.” “Wasn’t talking about you, Danny boy. I’m a growing lad.”

~~~~~~~~ Good intentions and sensible reasons couldn’t stop Spen patting Daniel’s shoulder when the kid bumped hips with him, or letting their hands stay in contact a little longer than they needed to when they reached for the honey at the same time. “Just friends?” Daniel said, a ginger eyebrow cocked cheekily. “Yes, you brat. Knock it off.” Daniel’s good mood lasted until they cleared up the breakfast things, and while they sat on the sofa, watching the kems and enjoying being together with no demands on them. But just as Spen wondered if he should make another pot of tea, Myko, who’d been chasing Kani across the room and around the bookshelves, knocked a piece of paper off the coffee table. When Spen bent to pick it up, he realised it was the pamphlet about counselling. It couldn’t be the one he had from the hospital, because that was sitting on his bedside table, back at his parents’ house. He went to put it back on the table, but Daniel stopped him, taking it from his hand. “No, let me have it. This is what I wanted to talk about before.” “Danny?” Daniel smoothed out the pamphlet. “I’ve been thinking...maybe you were right. Wouldn’t hurt to talk to these people. I mean, rather than put it all on you. It’s not fair.” “It’s not that it’s not fair, kiddo—” “Grrrr.” “Sorry.” He kissed Daniel’s cheek. “Don’t worry about ‘fair’. The point is, they’ve got more experience than I do. I’m dead scared I’ll hurt you out of ignorance. I don’t know what to expect. Neither do you. You’re strong, Danny. But knowledge is power.” He touched the pamphlet. “I could go with you. I mean, I’ve got questions and I don’t know who to ask. This prosecution could take months, Shah said. It’s just how the courts work.” “Yeah, I know. I watch television too.” “Oh well, then. No surprises for you.” Daniel punched him lightly on the arm. Spen pretended to be mortally wounded, but Myko spoiled the effect by jumping into Spen’s lap and whacking him in the face with his tail. Spen picked his kem up and brought him nose to nose. “Watch it, fuzzball.” He put the pest down on his lap again and wagged his finger at him. Myko batted it with a paw. It was simply impossible to reprimand a kem. “Would you really come along with me?” “Sure. When?”

“Today? This morning?” “Why not? The kids get back this afternoon. What are you going to tell them about your job?” Kani leapt up onto Daniel’s shoulder. Daniel pulled his kem down onto his chest so he could pet him properly. “I’ll have to lie. Dee can’t afford distractions. But I’m rubbish at lying to them.” “So tell them part of the truth. Tell them Fuckface is suspended because he’s been buying illegal drugs, that they’re investigating him further, and you’re on leave so the police can strip the office. No need to say more. After all, the police haven’t charged him with more than that at the moment, so it’s not a lie.” “No. I’ll have to try and be convincing. I should get changed, I suppose.” “How about I call them while you dress, see if we need an appointment or anything?” Daniel thanked him. Spen couldn’t help but notice the burst of energy which had propelled him to make the decision about the rape centre, had disappeared. Still, he hadn’t changed his mind yet, so Spen would encourage him as long as Daniel didn’t actively resist the idea. The centre did require appointments for counselling, but strongly advised Daniel to come in and talk, get information, and arrange to meet someone later. “Has he been tested? For STDs?” “Not yet,” Spen said. “We can help there too. Please, do bring him down.” Daniel came in five minutes later, neatly dressed in an ironed linen shirt and sharp trousers. Spen felt distinctly grubby next to him, but Daniel didn’t seem to care. He came over, his stance inviting a hug, so he got one. Spen told him what the centre said. “I’m not doing anything about tests until next week.” “I’m sure that’s okay. Are you? Okay, I mean?” Spen tilted Daniel’s head up and searched his face for any sign that he was freaking out. “Mostly. It’s going to suck but I need to do it.” Spen bent and kissed him. “Good for you. Come on.”

~~~~~~~~ Without Spen beside him, Daniel would probably have never made it inside the rape crisis centre, let alone allow a strange woman talk to him about intimate matters. It felt like he was making something he hardly believed had happened, into reality. Spen held his hand, and asked questions when it became too much for him. Even with that, Daniel felt like a used dishrag by the time they stepped out into the sunshine.

“A pint?” Spen suggested. “You’re driving. Coffee and early lunch? On me, no arguments.” “None from me, Danny.” Daniel wished he could show Spen how much he loved being called by that name. Loved it even though it made him sad too. A good sad though. Spen knew a coffee shop not too far away that served reasonable food, so they left the car in the carpark and walked. It didn’t feel right to be here on a working day, men of leisure only because someone had tried to carry out an attack on him. The sunshine felt good on his face, though. “Is it wrong to feel good that I might never have to go back to that office?” “No,” Spen said. “You were mad enough about that last night though.” “I really need a job. But I think I might die if I had to do that one again, even if it wasn’t working for him.” “Danny, you’re a clever, wonderful person, but Myko would make a better PA than you.” “Hey!” Daniel’s indignant protest matched Myko’s irritated squeak. Spen grinned, and ushered him into the coffee shop. He managed to distract Daniel by asking him to order, but after they had ordered and paid, and found an outside table, Daniel pinned him with a glare. “What do you mean about me being a bad PA?” “I never said that. But it’s like asking a dolphin to power a motorboat. It’s a pointless waste of your talent, and there are people who would do it just as well and enjoy it more.” “I’ve explained this to you.” “Yeah, yeah, the qualification thing. There has to be a way we can sort that out for you.” “‘We’?” “I’d like to help.” “I don’t see how you can.” Daniel’s mobile rang. He didn’t recognise the number. “I better get this. Daniel here.” “Daniel? It’s Inspector Shah. How are you doing?” “Fine, thank you. Is something wrong?” “No, not at all. I’m calling to say that we’ve charged Tony Noble with rape as well as the other charges we discussed.” A prickle of adrenaline ran across Daniel’s scalp. Spen reached over and took his hand. Daniel was grateful for that. “Uh, okay.” “He’s still in custody, but he’ll probably be bailed tomorrow.” “But you can keep him away from me and my family, right?” “Yes, you and any other witnesses. We’ll insist on that as a condition of bail, and the

magistrate won’t have a problem with that. Then there’ll be a committal hearing in a couple of months.” “What if he, uh...comes near me?” “You call the police. He can be thrown back into custody if he tries that.” “My brother and sister?” “If he approaches them, we’ll see that as an approach to you. We can arrange for police patrols to swing past your house randomly and you should make sure your brother and sister know what to do if they’re the least bit worried. I can arrange for an officer to chat to them if you want. We also made it clear to Noble that the case doesn’t rest on your testimony, so that means attacking you would be pointless. I think it’s unlikely he’ll harass you. It would hardly help his case.” “No. Uh...thanks for letting me know.” “No problem. If you have any questions about the case, you can call me.” “Thank you.” Daniel hung up. “They’ve decided to go with the...you know...charge.” Spen squeezed his hand. “That’s good.” “He’s going to get bail.” “Okay, well, that’s not too unexpected. He won’t come near you, Danny.” “How do you know? “Why would he? Your testimony isn’t the only evidence against him, and the police have enough to get him on some serious shit without it. If he tries to threaten you, then the police will haul him in.” “He might not stop at threatening. I’m worried about Dee and Alex.” Daniel’s chest was tight with unwelcome familiar rising panic. “Okay, I understand. Daniel, calm now.” Daniel gulped. “Sorry. I wasn’t expecting...they did mention bail, but it’s all sooner than I expected.” “Yeah, same here.” The waitress set their food and drinks down. Daniel thanked her, but his appetite had fled, though Kani as usual found the food fascinating. Spen was watching Daniel. Maybe waiting to see if he was going to melt down, Daniel thought sourly. “I’m okay,” he snapped. “Oh...sorry, I was just thinking. When do Dee and Alex start the summer break?” “Week after next. Why?” “Well, if you’re not working, you can keep an eye on them, but didn’t you say something about your aunt offering to have them?” “I am not sending my brother and sister away!”

“Shhhh. God, Daniel, calm down.” Daniel looked at his plate, where Kani was nosing under a spinach leaf. “This isn’t up for debate, Spen.” “I know. I wasn’t suggesting that. But maybe they could go stay with her over the holidays. By the time the break is over, the committal hearing might even be over.” “I don’t know if Aunt Lisa would agree. But the trial will be months and months after that.” “Yeah, but if he’s going to try anything, he’ll probably do it sooner rather than later. Worth thinking about, anyway.” Daniel nodded. He’d grown so used to not considering his extended family in his plans, other than worrying about whether he should send the kids to their grandparents or not, that his overseas relatives hadn’t even entered his thoughts. “I guess it would let me look for a job without worrying about them worrying about me.” “That too,” Spen said, a little distractedly. “I do need another job.” “Yes, I know. One step at a time, squirt.” “Kani, bite him.” Myko lifted his head from where he’d stuck it into Spen’s fruit juice and squeaked at Daniel, whether in encouragement or disapproval, Daniel didn’t know. Kani ignored them both. Spen just grinned. “No respect,” Daniel muttered. Spen ruffled his hair. Daniel pulled away and frowned at him. “Not in public, you thug.” “Oh sorry, your majesty. Eat your food before Kani distributes it to needy people.” Kani squeaked in annoyance. Daniel poked at the salad. “Maybe I should hold off on the job hunting for a month or more. I don’t feel like I can sell myself right now.” “It wasn’t your fault.” “No, but I still feel like damaged goods. Guess I’ll end up with a generic reference after all.” “Wait until you speak to Mr Stern, and don’t do anything until you clear it with Zachary. Julian says Zachary is a brilliant lawyer. If anyone can squeeze a good deal from those tightwads, he can.” Daniel nodded again. His life was on hold. Waiting for Tony to be tried. Waiting for the company to fire him. Waiting for Spen.... Spen said Daniel was in control, but then he’d gone and decided that they would just be friends, without even asking. Okay, he had good reasons but...a trial could be a year or more away. Maybe he was using it as an excuse. Daniel hadn’t exactly given him a lot of

room to manoeuvre. “Danny? You okay?” “I’m fine.” He picked up a forkful of food and ate it. “So what will happen to CrossChannel now?” “I’m sure I don’t give a flying fuck. I’m more worried about you.” “Well, don’t be. Things are under control. I’ll email my aunt tonight and see what she says. I’ll call Zachary, tell him about the new charges, and ask him about the bail thing. And next week, I’ll talk to Stern.” “And get tested.” Daniel shrugged. “Yeah. You don’t need to worry.” Spen cocked his head like Daniel had said something he didn’t understand, then shrugged. “Okay.” They ate the rest of the meal in silence, to the obvious confusion of the kems who kept giving them worried little chirps and squeaks as they nosed around the table. They wanted to play, that much was clear, but they wanted to stick close to their humans too. Finally, Kani and Myko both climbed into Daniel’s lap, forcing themselves up under his arms so they could peer into his face with identical expressions of concern. Spen laughed, and Daniel couldn’t help smiling. “What do you mischiefs want, hmmm?” He petted them both, and Myko snuggled into his hand. Kani snuggled into Myko instead. “They don’t want you to be sad,” Spen murmured. “Neither do I, but I can’t just click my fingers and make it all go away. I wish I could.” “No, you can’t, but you don’t have to do it on your own, either.” “I do at least until the trial is over.” Spen frowned and looked about to say something, but Daniel cut him off. “Look, I really should get moving. You need to pick up your mum, I need to do some shopping and cooking. And cleaning, because I don’t want Dee to think she has to lift a finger before Monday or the whole of next week. I should call my grandmother, email my aunt—” “I understand. You’re busy. So let’s go.” Perversely, Spen’s brusque efficiency, walking out of the café ahead of Daniel, taking the lead on the walk back to the car, hurt. Daniel was only trying to prove that he didn’t need a nanny, and that he wasn’t expecting Spen to solve all his problems. They were back at Daniel’s house in twenty minutes. “Uh, do you want to come in?” Daniel asked. “Not if you’re busy. There’s a few things I could do for Mum and Dad since I’m around.”

“Oh.” Spen turned to look at him. “Danny....” “Yeah?” “I, uh...um...let me know if you hear from Shah again, okay?” “Sure. Guess I’ll see you around.” “Yeah.” Spen reached over. Daniel thought he was after something in the glovebox and by the time he realised it was his hand Spen was after, the moment had passed. “You look after yourself, kiddo.” “Bye.” Daniel got out of the car before the conversation got tangled up again. He waved cheerfully as Spen drove off, and wondered why, if he was supposed to be in control of this situation, he felt so lost.

~~~~~~~~ “Shit,” Spen cursed softly as he drove up to the intersection. What had gone wrong? One minute all was fine and cheerful and friendly with Daniel, next minute the kid closed up tight. What had he done, or not done? Or was it nothing to do with him at all? This was what he’d tried to tell Daniel before—about not knowing what he was doing. But he thought it had been going pretty well up to...well, up to when it stopped going well. He needed advice, so when he arrived home and parked the car, he called the only person he could talk freely with about Daniel and his situation. “Beanie! How did you get on last night?” “Uh, that’s kind of why I called, Julian. Are you free this afternoon?” “No, sorry. Leo’s got appointments. Why don’t you come over for supper?” “Will Zachary be okay with that? I don’t want to intrude.” “I’ve got him trained. He hardly ever kills and eats visitors now.” Spen grinned. “That’s reassuring. Six?” “Yeah. Zachary won’t be home but we can talk while I cook.” “You’re cooking? Wow.” “Remind me why I like you?” “My charm and extreme height?” “Must be. See you at six, Beanpole.” The prospect of talking to Julian, and maybe even Julian’s canny boss and his scarily smart husband, helped ease Spen’s anxiety slightly. So did throwing himself into cleaning the bathroom, mopping all the linoleum floors, and doing a thorough vacuum on the carpeted surfaces. When he finished, it was time to pick up his mother. She knew as soon as she saw him something was wrong. “Oh, love, what happened?” she said as he set off.

“I really don’t know, Mum. He’s up and down. Maybe that’s normal.” “I think so, Spencer. He’s not had very long to adjust.” “No.” Spen thought about telling his mother about the added emotional component, but he didn’t know he wanted to violate Daniel’s privacy to that extent, when his mother was still involved in caring for Daniel’s siblings. Since he wasn’t sure exactly how Daniel felt about him now, and how to describe his feelings, there was a certain amount of cowardice in that discretion. He did tell his mother that Noble was to be charged with rape. “And how does Daniel feel about that?” “He’s worried about Noble coming after the kids. I can’t say it’s totally not going to happen.” “You hear some terrible stories. Can we help? I’d hate anything to happen to those children.” “He’s looking into some ideas, but if you can offer to keep an eye on them, I think he’d be grateful. The risk is probably small, but Noble is a real creep. A really dangerous creep.” His mother shuddered. “And a man with a wife and children. Do they know, do you suppose?” “They do now. Frankly, I think she should pack the kids up and run like hell, but who knows what she’ll do. I’ve got more than enough to do worrying about the people I know and care about.” His mother didn’t say anything, but she patted his knee sympathetically. He didn’t want to burden her too much with the ugliness of this business. For two weeks, he’d been struggling to cope in secret with what he’d learned about Noble and his predatory crimes. What he’d learned had been done to Daniel, and to two other young men he’d worked with, had given him nightmares. He didn’t want to inflict that knowledge on his mother more than was absolutely necessary. She was delighted at the clean floors, protesting he shouldn’t spend his day off doing housework. He didn’t tell her that it was either that or go nuts worrying about Daniel and the whole clusterfuck. Instead he just kissed her cheek. “Don’t tell me you wouldn’t do it. Anyway, it’s not a favour, because I live here too.” “Glad to have you, love. Are you here for supper, or are you going back over to Daniel’s?” Spen hid a wince. “Actually, Julian invited me over, so I thought I would go. I’ll take a taxi though.” “That’s nice of him. Daniel’s with the children, I suppose. I wonder what he’ll tell them.”

“No idea. We talked about it, but I don’t know what he finally decided. So I’ll, uh, go shower and change, and see you in the morning.” Spen hadn’t been over to Julian’s new digs, though he’d heard about them. He appreciated the swish neighbourhood and architectural beauty of the building where Julian and Zachary lived, but on the whole, he wouldn’t want to live there. His parents’ place was a nice, comfortable, middle-class home, and he’d never wanted more. Still, he was happy for his friend, moving up from a fairly grotty flat to a lovely apartment with a great friend and boss, not to mention the stunningly handsome, if somewhat reserved spouse. Myko and Pyon immediately ran off to make mischief elsewhere in the apartment. Julian handed him a glass of chilled white wine, and told him to sit on the other side of the counter while he did things to vegetables. “Okay, what’s made those brown eyes blue, Spen?” Spen ended up spilling everything—what had happened the night before, the revelations about their mutual feelings, the visit to the rape crisis centre, lunch, the call, everything. Not long after he started, Leo wandered in, accepted a somewhat smaller glass of wine from Julian, and made himself comfortable in an armchair near the kitchen, petting his little white kem while listening without comment to what Spen was saying. Neither he nor Julian looked all that surprised when Spen admitted that he and Daniel had been nursing mutual crushes, and when Spen said that he didn’t know why Daniel had turned all stiff and unfriendly over lunch, Julian just shook his head and grinned. “What’s so funny?” “You were with Rob too long, I think. This is how it goes when you’re still feeling each other out. You’ve just forgotten. Right, Leo?” Leo smiled. “Well, dear boy, it’s a while since I’ve had to deal with this kind of thing too, you know. But Spencer, Julian’s right. Even without the complication of this terrible affair with his employer, love is surely a terribly confusing business for a young man like Daniel, especially one who seems to have been rather sheltered and devoted to study. I’d be surprised if he’s experienced in such matters at all.” “Love? We’re not talking about that,” Spen said. “Not yet,” Julian said, still grinning. “Relax, Beanpole. Sounds to me like he has way too many things going on in his head. He really likes you—blind Freddy could tell that— and you really like him. Give him more than twenty-four hours to adjust.” “Oh.” It hadn’t even been that long, actually. It had just felt like longer. “Not to mention,” Leo said, “if he has been nurturing these feelings for some time, especially over what has to have been a most trying period, he’s probably terrified of making a mistake with you. Just as you are, for different reasons. As the more

experienced partner in this relationship, you may have to make allowances and take control of things for him.” “I said he was in control. I don’t want him to feel like I’m pressuring him, like Noble was.” “But, my dear fellow, if you back off now, having declared your affections, he might see that as a lack of enthusiasm. His self-confidence is rather low, I noticed. Not surprising, when he was doing a job for which he was ill-suited, which ended so disastrously, and now he’s being forced by the judicial process to see himself in the role of victim—for the second time, since he’s involved in this tedious suit against the crane company. You and I may know that he has a multitude of fine talents and has done rather well at keeping his family together despite the tragedy of his parents’ death, but he needs time to recover and see himself more positively.” “See, I’d like to help there too, but I don’t know what to do. He’s ruled out going back to finish his degree and without that, he can’t work as an engineer.” “Ah,” Leo said. “Actually, this is something Julian and I have discussed today, but we need Zachary to give us the benefit of his legal experience before we can come up with a proper plan.” “Zachary?” “Don’t worry, Spen,” Julian said, drying his hands on a towel. “Leo’s on the case. You don’t need to worry about a thing.”

~~~~~~~~ The kids had gone to bed an hour ago. They’d taken the news about Tony and the job more calmly than Daniel had feared, swallowing the half-truth as complete truth because it was so awful, they didn’t need to imagine anything worse. Dee was still worried about the finances, of course, but Daniel was able to wave that away by saying things weren’t settled with the company yet, and he thought they would have another position there he could fill, at least temporarily. Not a lie, exactly—it was always possible they did, even if Daniel would rather chew off a foot than work there any more. The most important thing was not distracting Dee from these crucial exams. He thought he’d managed to avoid that pretty well. Suggesting a trip to Aunt Lisa’s rather than a summer visit to their grandparents— which, from the conversation Daniel had had with his grandmother earlier, looked unlikely anyway on account of his grandfather’s condition—had thrilled Alex, while Dee was torn between worrying about the cost, and growing excited about a possible overseas trip. Daniel had emailed their aunt hours ago, and now sat in front of his computer half waiting for an answer, while doing everything he could to avoid going to bed. He’d mucked things up again, hadn’t he? Spen was trying to give him space and not

mess up the court case because he knew how much it mattered to Daniel, but Daniel had reacted like a brat, hurt his feelings, and made him feel unwelcome just when Daniel needed him most. If Spen never came over again, it would only be fair punishment. Kani meeped at him from his lap. Daniel stroked him. “You guys are so much smarter than me. Kems always know what we’re thinking.” Kani squirmed out of his light grip and jumped onto the desk. “Careful. Some of that’s fragile.” Kani turned and gave him an old-fashioned look, as if to say that Daniel didn’t need to remind him about something so obvious. Thinking back, Daniel wondered if the spilt tea in Tony’s office had been as accidental as it looked. Kems were, apart from all their other many talents, excellent judges of character. Kani and Myko hated Tony from the start. Daniel should really have paid attention to that. “What are you up to now?” Kani was nosing around with a little more intent than usual among the models and notepads. “No food in the bedroom, squirt. You know that.” Kani ignored him. Daniel shook his head and went back to surfing the net, looking for statistics on rape cases and the effects of GHB. Not the happiest topics, but he found it hard to think about anything else. The incoming email chime made him jump, but when he saw it was a reply from Aunt Lisa, a little bit of tension eased. She was enthusiastic, as he hoped she would be given her grand but unrealistic offers after the accident, and was offering to pay all the costs of the flights and expenses while the kids were there. She had even offered to buy whatever clothes the kids needed for the different season, which was probably unnecessary, but it meant packing didn’t have to be too stressful. He didn’t care if such generosity resulted from a guilty conscience or not—all that mattered was that Dee and Alex would be safely out of harm’s way for nearly two months. He emailed back to say he was delighted at her offer, and asking how she wanted them to arrange flight bookings and so on. Two months in the house alone. It would be hard, but since he could hardly tell Dee or Alex what was really behind his insomnia lately, losing their company was less important than ensuring their safety. He’d just have to cope. There was always.... Except maybe there wouldn’t be Spen. Daniel hadn’t given him much incentive to put up with his nonsense, and whatever mild affection Spen felt for him, might already have evaporated now he’d had to deal with the reality of Daniel’s crazy life. Kani squeaked. “What’s up, squirt?” Daniel went to pick him up, but his kem fought furiously to be left alone. “Okay, okay, calm down. What’s wrong?” Kani squeaked again and pushed something out from under the notes Daniel had been making. His phone. “It wasn’t lost, Kani. Thanks for finding it though.” Kani squeaked again, and stamped on the phone, actually pushing one of the keys.

Fortunately the keypad was locked. “Stop that,” Daniel said, picking the phone up and putting it on the other side of the computer. “What’s up with you, hmmm?” Kani jumped across the keyboard and started stamping on the phone again, squeaking like a crazy thing. “Bloody hell, what’s got into you?” Another stamp. “Is the phone annoying you? I’ll turn it off.” He went to pick it up but Kani nipped his hand. “Now that’s really not on, squirt. What?” Kani walked over to the keyboard and began banging on it. Daniel was about to lift him off and scold him properly when he realised what key Kani was hitting. ‘S’. Daniel stared at his kem in astonishment. “You’re trying to tell me something?” Kani squeaked, his tail lashing. “‘S’ for...Spen?” Kani meeped and did a somersault. Daniel had never seen his kem do anything like it before. “What about Spen?” Kani jumped back over to the phone and nudged it towards him. “I can’t, squirt. It’s late.” Kani put a foot on the phone and squeaked angrily, his tail erect and stiff with annoyance. “God, you’re persistent. He doesn’t want to hear from me, and not at this time of night.” Kani pushed the phone over to Daniel at such speed he had to catch it before it fell off the edge. “Look, I’ll text him, okay? Will that suit your highness?” Kani meeped and nodded. Not for the first time in his life, Daniel wondered just how damn smart kems really were. Probably a lot more than anyone gave them credit for. It was after eleven, and even though it was a Friday night, calling someone whose routine he barely knew at this time was not acceptable, whatever tantrum Kani threw. But Spen’s text message tone was pretty discreet, Daniel recalled. It was unlikely to wake him up, so he could risk that, he supposed. But what to say? “Sorry for being a dickhead?” Or maybe, “Thanks for suggesting the thing about my aunt?” Neither was the kind of thing which justified a late night text. Or, for that matter, Kani’s weird behaviour. His kem watched him intently with bright, mischievous eyes. He stamped his foot again as if to say, “Get on with it.” “You’re a pain, you know that?” Kani lay down, head resting on his paws, like butter wouldn’t melt in his terribly maligned mouth. “You’re not fooling anyone.” Kani’s tail flicked disdainfully. Daniel stared at his phone. The only thing he really wanted to say to Spen was the one thing that would probably drive him away. Maybe he should say it anyway, get it over with. Better now than when he had come to rely even more on Spen. When losing

Spen’s friendship would become a wound too great to bear.

~~~~~~~~ Spen was staring at the ceiling, trying to stop his busy brain from cycling over the events of the day and the last week, when his phone gave a quiet ‘tink’. He was tempted to ignore it, but Myko reached over from the pillow and batted the phone with his paw. Spen had to catch it to stop it falling on the ground, and the screen told him the incoming message was from “Danny”. He opened it. All it said was, “I don’t want to wait.” The kid had to be awake. Spen called his number. “Hey. I thought you’d be asleep.” Daniel sounded completely alert. “I’d like to be, but my brain has other ideas. Um...Danny, I don’t want to wait either.” A pause, then Daniel said slowly. “So what about the trial?” “I was over at Julian’s tonight, and I asked Zachary about what would happen if—in theory—our relationship changed before the trial started. He said so long as I was sure none of my actions were motivated by or appeared to be motivated by malice, and I told the exact truth in court, it should be okay. I should tell Inspector Shah too, in case he needs to know. He also said that so far as he could tell, my evidence was a very minor part of the case.” “Really?” “Yeah, really. So I don’t want to wait, and I don’t need to wait. The only question left is...what do you want?” “You,” Daniel breathed into the phone, and Spen smiled, his heart lighter than it had been all day. “Is that all right?” “Better than, Danny boy. How are you doing? How did it go with Dee and Alex?” “Okay. They accepted the story. Oh, and my aunt is happy to take them over the holidays. We just have some details to sort out and then they can fly out.” “Oh that’s great. Uh...but that means you’ll be on your own.” “Will I?” “Only if you want to be.” “I don’t want to be.” “See, that was easy.” He heard Daniel laugh. “Want me to come over now?” “Um, yeah, I do, but it’s not a good idea. Dee will wonder and I don’t want to distract her. But if you’re not busy tomorrow, I said I’d take Alex down to the skate park, and then out for lunch, so Dee can have peace and quiet.” “I’d love to come. But will you sleep tonight?” “Hang on.” He heard the phone being set down, and the distant sound of Kani

chirping. A few more seconds, then Daniel was back on the line. “Okay, I’m in bed now. Can we talk until I’m sleepy?” “Sure. Unless I fall asleep first.” “Myko can turn the phone off.” “Kems can’t use phones, Danny.” “Don’t you be too sure about that....”

~~~~~~~~ The kids greeted the news that the trip was on with shouts and hugs, but almost immediately, Dee began to fret. “Visas—” “Electronic and already applied for. Your passports are up to date, and you don’t need vaccinations or anything like that.” “I won’t have time to pack!” “Yes you will, I promise. You just take what clothes you have, your normal toiletries and stuff, and Aunt Lisa will buy anything else when you get there.” “But—” “Nope, you’re not going to let this distract you from your prep. Leave it to me. I promise it’ll be fine.” “Don’t worry, DeeDee,” Alex said. “Me and Daniel will sort it out. Trust us.” Dee smiled ruefully. “Okay. I don’t have a choice. Oh this is going to be wonderful! I wish you were coming along, Daniel.” “Me too, Dee, but there’ll be other chances. Oh, by the way, Alex, Spen’s coming with us today. Is that okay?” “Sure! That’ll be great.” “And me stuck revising.” Dee’s mouth twisted miserably. “I like Spen too.” “Well, he’s going to stay over tonight and help me cook one of his mum’s recipes, so you can take the night off and relax. You need that too.” Her expression changed in a flash. “Yay! I love his mum’s food. But hang on....” Oh, so she had noticed. “What?” “He’s staying over? Why?” “Because I want him to.” “Daniel, are you going out with Spencer?” “I just told you, DeeDee, he’s going out with Alex and me this morning.” Daniel ate his toast and tried to keep an innocent expression on his face. Lili looked at Kani, and the two kems chirped knowingly. Dee punched his arm. “You know what I mean. Is he your boyfriend?” “We’re...working on it. Do you mind?” “Are you kidding? I love Spen.”

Alex nodded. “He’s really cool. And tall. I like tall people.” Daniel grinned. “He’s definitely tall. So, you’re okay with it? Good, because I really like him. Please don’t tease him.” “We won’t,” Dee said, pouring herself tea and sipping it demurely. “We’ll tease you instead.” She ducked his mock-smack and danced away from the table. “Got study to do. See ya!” Daniel shook his head, though secretly he was delighted at how well his brother and sister had taken his news. If they’d objected—not that he’d expected them to—there would be no future with Spen. No way would he put anyone before Dee and Alex, no matter what he felt about them. But he didn’t have to worry now. Alex leapt on Spen as he came through the door. “Hello, Daniel’s new boyfriend!” Daniel hid his face in his hands. “Shoot me now.” “It’s okay, Danny,” Spen’s voice was full of amusement, not irritation, fortunately. “Alex, you’re embarrassing the life out of your brother.” “Yeah, isn’t it great? Are you going to kiss?” Daniel put his hand on his brother’s head and forced him to face the wall. “Yes, and you’re not looking.” Spen, grinning so wide his face looked about to split, bent and dropped a kiss on Daniel’s cheek. Daniel, still making Alex look away, raised an eyebrow. “That’s it?” “No.” Spen took him into a hug, and kissed him on the mouth, long and deep. Daniel rose up on his toes to meet the embrace, and didn’t mind that releasing his grip on his annoying brat of a brother meant Alex could turn around, fold his arms and watch them, grinning in satisfaction. “Enjoy the show?” Spen asked over Daniel’s head, still holding him in a hug. “Dee is going to be so jealous.” “Keep this up and it’s a Saturday morning in front of the cartoons for you,” Daniel threatened. “You promised!” “That was before you started being a royal nuisance. Scoot. Skateboard, helmet and guards, or we’re not going.” Alex thundered off up the stairs to his bedroom, leaving Daniel blissfully alone with Spen. “Sorry about that. They were pleased when I told them, but you know what kids are like.” “Don’t worry. If I can survive Luke and the others, Alex is no challenge.” He stroked the hair off Daniel’s face. “How are you? Sleep well?” “I did, and in my bed too. Thank you. Did you?” Spen didn’t look as tired as he had

done lately. Daniel realised rather guiltily that he’d been so absorbed in his own misery that he’d been oblivious to Spen’s feelings. “Better. Wish I’d been with you. Are they okay with me staying over tonight?” “Are you kidding? Dee practically sent up fireworks. Um, you might have to play up to expectations. She deserves a nice night off.” “No problem. I like her, and I want to help. I might be slightly fonder of her brother, though.” Daniel hugged him again and claimed another kiss. God, holding him, being with him, was sweet. “Good. Is that your pack? Just dump it in the living room. I promised Dee we’d cook that pork and apple thing your mum makes. We can pick up the makings on the way home.” “Fine by me. I’m just happy to be with you.” Spen looked into Daniel’s eyes. “I’m glad you sent that text. I was bloody miserable before that.” “I’m sorry.” “Don’t worry about it, Danny. It all came right in the end. Where’s that brother of yours?” “Alex! Hurry up or we’ll go without you!” Alex’s answer came floating down the stairs. “You’re a mean sod, Daniel!” “Mind your language, or I’ll hide your skateboard!” A few seconds later, Daniel’s phone told him he had a text. From Alex. “(_*_)