Vertigo

Vertigo [Vertigo Chronicles Book I] by M. L. Rhodes Amber Quill Press www.amberquill.com Copyright ©2008 by M. L. Rho...

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Vertigo [Vertigo Chronicles Book I] by M. L. Rhodes

Amber Quill Press www.amberquill.com

Copyright ©2008 by M. L. Rhodes

NOTICE: This eBook is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution to any person via email, floppy disk, network, print out, or any other means is a violation of International copyright law and subjects the violator to severe fines and/or imprisonment. This notice overrides the Adobe Reader permissions which are erroneous. This eBook cannot be legally lent or given to others. This eBook is displayed using 100% recycled electrons.

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CONTENTS Also By M. L. Rhodes CHAPTER 1 CHAPTER 2 CHAPTER 3 CHAPTER 4 CHAPTER 5 CHAPTER 6 CHAPTER 7 M. L. Rhodes Amber Quill's Rewards Program ****

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VERTIGO By M. L. RHODES **** Amber Quill Press, LLC www.amberquill.com

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Also By M. L. Rhodes After Hours Always The Bodyguard The Bounty Hunter Couplings The Draegan Lords Falling Hearts & Bones Heat Lords of Kellesborne Magic Masks Never Let Go 5


Night Shadows Out of My Mind The Professor's Secret Passion Souls Deep Take It On Faith True Of Heart Under My Skin Under My Skin II Well Hung [Back to Table of Contents]

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CHAPTER 1 The damp, pungent scent of decay crept into Simon SaintSaens nostrils, slid down the back of his throat, and coated his tongue with the taste of death. As it did every night when he went on the hunt. Yet after nine years, he'd never grown used to it. How could he when he abhorred everything it represented? Every night he watched the slow, agonizing death of the city unfortunate enough to be poised at the opening between this world and the one called Vertigo. He saw the deaths of the humans foolish enough to stick around, or so trapped by their day-to-day realities they couldn't leave. Even the deaths of the creatures he stalked, who came through rifts from Vertigo night after night to prey upon the innocent, added to the pestilence. Death consumed everyone and everything Simon knew. Except him. And the bitter irony of that fact ate at him every day of his existence. He paused against the wall of an abandoned brick warehouse and listened. Wind soughed through the tall buildings, rustling stray scraps of litter. In the distance, a subway train below street level screeched and rumbled over rusting tracks on one of the few remaining lines in this part of the city. Whispers of unnamed origin wove through the night and curled around him, trying to lure him away from his shadowed hiding place. But none were the sounds he sought. 7


"Come on ... give yourself away," he murmured under his breath. "Your kind always does." And then he heard it. A faint growl a block ahead. So low an ordinary person wouldn't have sensed it. But Simon wasn't ordinary. As quietly as possible, he moved forward, staying close to the buildings in shadow until the glow from one rare, unbroken street lamp cast a haloed sheen over the cracked sidewalk, chasing away the dark for several yards. Without pausing, Simon pressed his hands against the brick wall. With a faint tingle, they slipped through it, followed by the rest of his body. He jogged through the empty building on silent, booted feet. When he reached the end, he phased through the brick and reemerged onto the darkened sidewalk farther down the street. Halting again, he let his gaze roam and caught a brief flash of silver and a hint of glowing eyes. The creature had looked back over its broad, heavily furred shoulder just before it turned the corner onto a side street. Was it just being cautious and watching its back, or had it caught his scent? Warning rippled through him. It may know you're following it. The demons and creatures of Vertigo were nothing if not wily and full of tricks. The beast could very well be luring Simon into a trap. If that were the case, it wouldn't be the first time. And it wouldn't be successful. 8


When Simon entered the side street, he caught another glimpse of the creature. It seemed to have slowed its pace, almost as if taunting him to catch up, its lean, powerful body rippling with muscle beneath silver-black fur as it turned yet another corner, this time to the right. Simon slowed as well. He was fully familiar with this section of the city and knew the beast had entered a long alley. One with many excellent hiding places—he'd used them himself from time to time as he hunted. Which, he hoped, gave him the advantage in tonight's chase. Instead of turning into the alley on the sidewalk, he pushed through the wall into the building on the corner. This one—a run-down printer—was still in business, though Simon suspected in this part of town it wouldn't be for much longer. At midnight, however, the cramped offices and dank printing floor stood in darkened silence. He made his way through the building until he was able to peer out the dirt-streaked window onto the alley. At first no movement drew his attention. But then a ripple of motion against the dark wall across the alley caught his gaze and held it. There. The creature stalked alongside the huge metal doors of a machining plant. In the faint glow from the sliver of moon above, Simon could finally make out the beast's full shape and put a name to it—a warg-wolf. Much larger than regular wolves of this world, the Vertigoan warg-wolves were strong, powerful, had rudimentary communication skills with the demons of Vertigo, and were not only used to do the demons' 9


dirty work, but often hunted in this world on their own for sport. Feeding off their human victims was secondary to playing with them before the kill. Tonight, Simon would take this one down before it could find a victim. He'd learned long ago the creatures of Vertigo were not easily slain, and human guns were little use against them. No matter how many holes one put through them, most of the beings continued to fight for far too long, and some even had regenerative power, so guns tended to be messy and dangerous. The fastest and surest way to destroy the beings was to sever their heads from their bodies. It didn't seem to matter the type of creature—whether it walked on two feet or four, appeared humanoid or animal—beheading finished it expediently and permanently. Letting his hatred for all of Vertigo boil in his veins, he pushed his way through the window and wall without a sound, and sprinted across the alley. Before the warg-wolf spied him, he grabbed up a long length of rusted chain from the ground where it lay discarded outside the machining plant and swung it. It wrapped around the warg-wolf's front legs and, when Simon yanked, the creature fell with a thud and a yelp. Moving fast, Simon ran to the beast, looped the chain so it wouldn't come off, managing to avoid the beast's formidable, snapping jaws, then threw one end of the chain up and over an exposed steel beam jutting from the building. He jerked down, and the beast rose in the air. Simon stopped when its hind feet dangled a few inches from the asphalt. The wolf, 10


were it to stand on its hind legs, would have been Simon's height, around six feet tall or so. Now, its head was slightly above him. He wrapped the chain around an old parking meter to hold the wolf in place. But as he reached beneath his long coat to draw his sword, for the first time ever in the years he'd been hunting, he faltered, and though his palm wrapped around the grip of the sword, he didn't pull out the weapon. He'd slain many warg-wolves on his nightly hunts, but something about this one was different. For one thing, unlike every other beast he'd captured, this one had stopped fighting. It had growled and snapped ... up until the point he'd jerked it in the air. Then, when he'd brought it up to eye level with him, it had ceased its struggle as if a switch inside its brain had shut down. Except that made it sound almost mechanical. And it wasn't. In fact, the way it looked at him with wary, glowing-silver eyes made the wolf seem more intelligent, more alert, more sentient than any he'd dealt with in the past. If felt as if the beast were watching him, waiting for his next move, before deciding what its own would be. Far too much awareness for a regular wargwolf. Its appearance was different as well. The sheen of its black, silver-tipped coat was glossier than the usually ragged, mangy fur of other warg-wolves, and its coloring lighter. The beast also appeared leaner than others he'd seen—still large and strong, but slightly less massive. "Just what the hell are you?" he muttered as he circled it. 11


Did it really matter what it was? It came from Vertigo. And the beings of Vertigo held no redeeming qualities. Unable to bear the sunlight of this world, they came through rifts— dimensional tears between this world and theirs—in the hours of darkness to hunt, kill, eat, and take human captives to be their slaves. They showed no mercy, no remorse, and no shred of anything resembling humanity. This wolf, despite its oddities, would be the same. Shaking off his moment of uncertainty, Simon drew his sword. But as he lifted it to strike the blow that would sever the beast's head from his body, the wolf began to contort. Caught off guard—something that seldom happened to him—Simon stood locked in place, watching. What the hell was going on? He needed to swing his blade and kill the beast. Yet some deep-down instinct held him back. Why, damn it? It's from Vertigo. Kill it! But as the wolf's snout shortened, its legs straightened, and the black fur faded, Simon found himself riveted by the transformation taking place. Within seconds, where once the large wolf had been, a nude human man with thick dark hair that curled at the nape of his neck now hung, breathing hard, his head down, his wrists chained above him. "Holy..." Simon stared in shock. Not a warg-wolf. A werewolf. But they weren't supposed to exist. Simon had only ever heard legends of them. And certainly had never seen one, not even emerge from the depths of Vertigo. 12


Slowly, the man lifted his head and peered at Simon from beneath the dark strands of hair that fell onto his forehead and nearly over his eyes. With a rush of air from his lungs, Simon gaped at the hauntingly familiar silver eyes. A wrenching pain gripped his gut. Oh, my God. It can't be! No. He shook his head to clear it. No, it wasn't. The eyes were set in a face he didn't recognize. A startlingly handsome face to be sure, with dark stubble grown out just enough to look sexy as hell rather than unkempt, bold upswept dark brows, and full, sensuous lips, but far too hard and worldly to belong to the one he'd known in the past with eyes like these. Eyes so rich one could lose himself in them and forget, for just a while, about Vertigo and the evil it belched out night after night. Don't go there. Too hard. He knew better than to dwell on the past. The only thing memories of the past brought was pain. The person he'd once known with the power to make him forget was long gone, his innocence stolen and his light put out by creatures like the one in front of him. This being, despite its compelling eyes and a lean, beautiful human body radiating sensual allure, was still just a beast. Like everything else from the dark, hellish other-world. It had a new form he hadn't seen before, but was a beast nonetheless. And it deserved no mercy. "So, are you going to cut off my head?" the man-wolf asked. 13


His deep, husky voice scudded through Simon's veins with the dizzying burn of strong whiskey and, much to Simon's shock because he knew the true form of the creature, made his head buzz, his skin tingle, and his groin give an unexpected pulse. The silver eyes showed no fear, only a mocking defiance, as did the faint, smiling twist of his full lips. "It's the best way to kill me. One swift blow at the correct angle will take it off and end me." "I know how to kill you." Simon's hand flexed around the grip of his sword as a new surge of anger built in him. Anger at what this being represented. Anger at himself for having a sexual response to it. "Then why haven't you done it already? Isn't that what you do? Aren't you the one the humans call the Saint? Because you dare to come out here every night and hunt down evil in order to keep the city safe and let the good people go on living for yet another day, another week, another month?" "I'm no saint." The words were a growl of warning. Simon hated the moniker, hated the guilt that stabbed through him each time he heard it. If only they knew the truth, they'd never call me that. "Don't worry, I have no delusions about your saintliness," the man said. "I know you for who you really are." "Oh?" Simon cocked an eyebrow at the man's audacity. "And who's that?" Deep low laughter caused another jolt of awareness in the pit of Simon's belly, but the words, when they came, had the opposite effect on him. 14


"A man so obsessed by his own inner demons he refuses to live, and instead spends his every waking moment hunting that which reminds him of himself, as if banishing them all will banish his own dark side. Tell me, Saint, does it help? Has it fixed anything in your life? Or are you still just as miserable and lonely as ever?" Simon swung the sword, stopping mere inches from the man's throat as anger churned deep inside him. "You know nothing about me." "I know more than you think," the man snapped. "Did you believe it was coincidence you found me tonight? That your magnificent skill allowed you to capture me? Do you honestly think if I'd wanted to escape I wouldn't have? You give yourself far too much credit." Simon gritted his teeth against the man's taunting words. "If you allowed me to capture you, then you're a fool a thousand times over. I kill unnatural creatures without a second thought, and I'll do the same to you." "Ah, of course. Because in your mind, there are no shades of gray. For you, there's only black and white, right and wrong, good and evil, those from your world and those from Vertigo. Isn't that correct? But tell me, what do you do with a 'creature' who's a product of both? Who's human, like those you claim to protect, and beast, like those you kill? Does it present you with a moral conundrum, or does the blood of the beast damn the creature in your eyes and allow you to overlook his humanity?" "If you take the form of a wolf from Vertigo and you stalk the night like the rest of the beasts, then you're no human— 15


only a twisted perversion of one. I protect the humans from your kind, not the other way around." The man laughed again, and the deep cadence of it—bitter though it sounded—both aroused and infuriated Simon. Damn it, why did the man-beast have any effect on him at all? "You think that's amusing, were-wolf?" "I think you're a hypocrite." "Oh, and why's that?" "Just how human do you really believe you are? Do you know of any other humans who can do the things you do?" "The things I do?" "Please, spare me the games. Word gets around. But even if it didn't, I told you, I know more about you than you want to believe. How human is it to have the strength of several men, to walk through walls, to be able to heal yourself in a short period of time when your body becomes damaged?" The man's voice lowered, took on an almost conspiratorial tone. "We both know you're no saint, but I wonder what the people of your world would think if they suspected the truth?" This creature knew far too much about him and it shook Simon in a way nothing else ever had. It was as if it could see into his soul, and that was a place he didn't even go himself. He sure as hell wouldn't allow some demon spawn of Vertigo to get into his head or trick him into believing his words were anything more than guesswork and bravado meant to rattle him. Simon pressed his sword against the man's neck, nicking the skin. A thin line of blood seeped free. "I've heard enough 16


of your babble. It's time to say your good-byes," Simon growled. "Not that anyone will miss you." "Some things never change, I see." The man-wolf's eyes shone like hardened shards of silver, yet within their depths a sudden and surprising flash of sadness glinted. "I should have known better." He sighed, and it sounded so genuine and heartfelt a twinge of guilt shot through Simon and he didn't even know why. "Did you miss me at all the last time we said goodbye?" the man asked softly. "Or did you forget me as soon as I was out of sight?" "What the hell are you talking about?" But something stirred within Simon. Something he kept buried deep because the reality of it was too painful to bear. Yet for the second time tonight, it swirled to the surface, confusing him, unsettling him. "No, of course you didn't miss me," the man said, answering his own question and ignoring Simon's. "Because then you'd have to admit you cared, and God forbid you'd ever allow that." "Do I...?" "Know me?" A bittersweet smile turned up the corner of the man's mouth. "No. Clearly not." He tilted his chin up, giving Simon better access to his neck. "Go ahead, take it off." Then he looked Simon directly in the eye, holding his gaze without flinching. "I forgive you for what you're about to do," he said in a quiet voice. Simon's heart stalled, then resumed with a racing beat that made his chest ache and his lungs tighten. 17


Those eyes, the words... "Wh-at did you just say?" "I said I forgive you for what you're about to do ... Simon." Memories returned with a rush, ripping through Simon and blindsiding him with their intensity. "Oh, God." He took a step back, struggling to find air, to find his voice. "Jaden?" [Back to Table of Contents]

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CHAPTER 2 "Why are you sending me away?" Haunted silver-gray eyes pleaded with Simon, tearing his heart to shreds, though he was trying his damnedest to stay immune. "You know why. We've been through this already. I don't want you to have to see or experience any of Vertigo's evil again. You've suffered enough and I want you far away from it. You can't stay with me, Jade. It's not safe here." "It's safer here with you than anywhere else, and you know it. You're sending me away because you're scared." "For you, yes." "No, for yourself. You don't want me to stay because you're scared you might actually start to care about me, might already care about me. You're so damned afraid of letting anyone in, letting anyone know you, that you spend your days hiding away instead of living your life and using your gifts." "They're not gifts. They're a curse that you can't possibly understand." "So you're just going to push me away and pretend you're doing it for my own good?" "It is for your own good." The young man blinked, rubbed his eyes, then clutched the back of the chair to steady himself. "What's going on? Why do I feel so..." His stare turned accusing. "Oh, God ... you drugged my drink, didn't you?" 19


Guilt ate at Simon, but he pushed it away with brutal ferocity. This was for the best. "It was the only way I could be sure you wouldn't fight me about going." "I can't believe you." Tears glittered in Jade's eyes. "I trusted you." "I know. So trust me now. I just want what's best for you. The brothers at the abbey will keep you safe and help you fully recover. You've been through a lot and they can do far more for you than I can." "Damn it, Simon!" "I'm sorry, but this is the way it has to be. And don't think about coming to look for me, because I won't be here. As soon as the brothers take you, I'm leaving, too." "Simon..." Jaden's soft, pleading voice was almost more than Simon could bear, and for a brief, crazy moment he let himself wonder what it would be like to let the young man stay, to look into Jade's eyes, so rich with emotion and passion, every day for the rest of his life. To give himself up to the man's touch and kiss, to push him back onto the bed and lose himself in Jade's warm, willing body and open heart without the constant fear. But with a hard swallow past the lump in his throat, he knew it could never be. He couldn't trust himself. Not with anyone. Especially not with Jade, who made him feel everything so much more intensely. He was terrified one day all that emotion would ignite a wildfire he couldn't control. When Jade swayed on his feet, Simon stepped closer, caught the younger man in his arms, and lowered him to the 20


bed. He held Jade's head in his lap and tried not to let the hurt and betrayal in those silver eyes break his heart. Jade wound his fingers through Simon's and squeezed, and Simon squeezed back. "You could have trusted me with anything," the young man murmured. "You can shut me out, but it'll never change how I feel about you." Simon swallowed again, his throat aching. "It's best if you forget me." "I won't ever forget you." Jade pulled off the chain with the silver Celtic cross on it he always wore—his mother had given it to him on his thirteenth birthday, just days before his family had been killed and Jade kidnapped six years ago. The demons had never made him remove it—whether because they didn't care or because they feared touching the ancient holy symbol, Jade said he hadn't known. He draped it over Simon's head. "No, Jade. This is yours. It's your last connection to your family." But the young man stilled his hand before he could take it off. "Now it's yours. You need the protection more than I do." He reached up and stroked his fingers along Simon's jaw. "I forgive you, Simon. For what you're doing." His eyelids fluttered closed as he succumbed to the sleeping drug. Simon gathered him close, fighting the burning moisture in his own eyes. He pressed a kiss to Jade's forehead, then buried his face in the younger man's short, soft dark hair, just beginning to grow back in after having been shaved off during 21


the years of his captivity in Vertigo where he'd lived as a slave. "I'm so sorry," Simon whispered, his chest aching. "I wish ... Well, I wish a lot of things. I just want you to be safe, Jade. Because I do care, damn it. More than you'll ever know." **** The memory of that last day with Jade tore through Simon, leaving him drained and unsteady. It had been the last time he'd seen Jaden. He stared at the stranger before him, at the eyes that still had the power to turn him inside out, but had trouble merging this cocky, bitter creature with the gentle young man he'd once known. "It's been a long time," the stranger said, his voice still quiet, but his gaze intense. The sword trembled in Simon's hands, and he realized he'd lowered it. But now his hand tightened around the grip, and he narrowed his eyes as uncertainty swept through him. Uncertainty and a sick ache that he was being played. "No." He shook his head. "No, I don't know what kind of perverse trick this is, but you're not Jade. You could never be him." "Why's that?" came the soft response. "Because Jaden Cole is dead." The words felt like raw agony being ripped from his throat, from his soul. Dead. Just like everything else in his world. 22


Six months after he'd sent Jade away, the abbey had been attacked by demons. The brothers of the abbey had been peaceful, with no self-defense training, no weapons. Demons had never before dared to attack a holy place. Simon had thought Jade would be safe there. No one in the abbey had survived. And for the past nine years, Simon had been forced to live with the guilt he'd sent Jade to his death. "There were times I wished I were dead," the man hanging from the chains said. "Times I cursed God and you and anyone else I could think of for deserting me. But in the end, no one listened. I had no one to trust, no one to depend on but myself, and nothing to my advantage except the fact I was alive." "No." Simon shook his head again. "It's impossible." The tight lines around the man's mouth softened and, for just a moment, Simon saw something else there besides the silver eyes that struck a chord of familiarity with him. Something that made him want to believe. "I forgave you for drugging me and sending me away, Simon. But I never forgot you. Just like I told you I wouldn't." His husky whisper sent a tremor of longing through Simon. "When I woke up in the abbey alone, I missed you so damned much it felt like my guts were twisted into permanent knots. I hated you and loved you all at once, and those two emotions fought a war inside me that I thought would tear me in two." His voice broke. "I did, you know? Love you." 23


"Don't," Simon whispered, unable to stop the trembling that wracked his body. God, this couldn't be Jade. He was dead. And he'd been human, pure and sweet and gentle, not some half-beast. "Don't what? Tell the truth? What have I got to lose? Eventually you're going to swing your sword and take off my head because I'm no longer the human you thought you once knew. So I think I have a right to speak the truth, don't you? I think it's the least you owe me." "You can't be Jade..." "What do you need as proof? Do you want me to tell you how you found me? Bound hand and foot by the Volgaran demon who owned me? How he beat me and tortured me and would have left me to die because I insulted him in front of his friend? How you came out of the dark and killed them both and saved me?" Simon still remembered the night. He'd been wallowing in his own misery for months, barely leaving his rented room, sick with guilt and afraid to be around anyone for fear of what he might do. When he did go out it was always at night. He felt safer in the dark, less conspicuous. He'd walked miles that night, trying to ease the constant gnawing of his anger and conscience, or maybe just hoping if he walked far enough and long enough he could outrun it. He'd been so lost in his own pain he hadn't realized until it was too late that he'd wandered into a spot where the fabric between the two worlds had parted and he could see into Vertigo. And what he'd seen had been two demons—huge, red-eyed, harsh-tongued brutes—having sport with a young 24


human tied spread-eagle between posts driven in the ground. Presented at last with a way to expend his pent-up anger and frustration, Simon had surged into the rift and attacked them without a thought for himself or what the creatures could do to him. Minutes later, they were dead, torn limb from limb and beheaded. Shocked once more at what he was capable of, his first instinct had been to run. But the matter of the thin, pale young man the demons had been tormenting kept him there. When Simon cut him free, Jaden had barely been conscious, his body battered and bleeding, and suffering from the Vertigoan sickness. The world Vertigo had been so named by the humans because humans taken through a rift to the other world grew ill and dizzy from the intense sensations the world produced—as if everything in it were upside down and backward and spinning out of control. Simon carried the young man out through the same rift in which he'd entered, grateful it was still open and they hadn't both been trapped in the hellish world. He'd wanted to take Jade to a hospital, but they were miles from the nearest one with no way to get there save on foot. So he'd taken him home with him instead. For the next two months he'd done his best to nurse Jade back to health. Until things had gotten complicated. Then he'd sent the young man away. To his death. "Jade's dead. Everyone died at the abbey," Simon said, his voice hoarse with sorrow. "I traveled there and saw for myself when I heard." 25


Dark brows shot up in obvious surprise. "You went there?" the man said, looking both stunned and shaken by Simon's admission. "Yes. The whole place was a smoking ruin." He winced at the horrific memory and felt all over again the aching fear and grief that had consumed him that day. "There were charred bodies everywhere." He dragged a hand over his eyes. "I looked and looked, but there were so many. So damned many ... all burned beyond recognition." **** Jade's heart twisted at the agonized look on Simon's face. That lean, arresting, troubled face that hadn't aged a day since he'd last seen him, except for the deeper lines of worry and stress around his blue eyes and firm mouth. The face that had haunted his dreams for so many years. Simon had come looking for him at the abbey. Jade didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the irony of it. All those months he'd wanted exactly that. Wanted a sign that Simon cared. And then when Simon had finally come, he'd been gone. "The night of the attack on the abbey, Brother Francis and I had gone into the woods," Jade said. "I was just starting to learn how to control my affliction and it was a test of sorts, to see how I was managing it. When we returned, the abbey was on fire. Brother Francis rushed in, trying to save some of the others, and I followed. The demons killed him before I could help him. I barely got away alive. I ran. Something I'm not proud of, but it was already too late and..." He drew in a 26


shaking breath. "And I couldn't go back there ... to Vertigo. I couldn't do it, Simon. If they'd caught me, the beast would have taken over. There would have been nothing of me left." Simon stared at him, his expression wary. Jade could tell he was still struggling to believe him, yet the hint of tormented tenderness in his eyes gave Jade hope. "The beast?" Simon asked, his hand clenching and releasing around the grip of his sword. "What I've become. Part man, part wolf." Simon winced, as if hearing it, in spite of the fact he'd already seen Jade's two forms for himself, was a painful shot to his system. "How did this happen?" he rasped. "What ... what you are?" Jade shifted, trying to relieve some of the pressure of the chains gouging into his wrists. In his wolf form, his feet had dangled off the ground. In human form, because his body was shaped differently from the animal, he could just reach the ground with his toes. He stood on them now to help ease the pull at his aching arms. He was grateful the summer night was mild, or his exposed, nude body would be suffering even more. Although ... just being within a few feet of Simon kept a pulse of heat flowing through his veins and under his skin. Damn, the man still had the ability to make Jade want him above all else. "It was a little present I brought back with me from Vertigo," Jade said, unable to keep the bitterness from his voice. "And before you ask, no, I didn't know about it when you rescued me and I stayed with you. I didn't know until I was at the abbey and the transformations began." 27


"But how did it happen?" "All the human slaves in Vertigo are given a drug to counteract the sickness that comes from being in that world. Otherwise they'd be too ill and off-balance to function and do their tasks. Remember? I told you the night you found me, as part of my punishment the demon had refused to give me the drug, purposely wanting me to suffer." Simon gave a slight nod—Jade knew it was hard for the man because acknowledging Jade's question would be acknowledging he was actually Jade. He took the fact Simon had responded at all as another small sign of hope. "The drug has a side effect. Even after a person stops taking it. Most humans enslaved in Vertigo never escape, but as I discovered, the few who make it back to this world suffer a permanent consequence of the drug. In Vertigo, it alters the human system, restructuring it at the cellular level to make the human body able to bear the stresses of the demon world. But once back in this world, because the drug builds up in the body and is stored there, it becomes like a virus, eating away at the healthy human cells until ... well, until after a while, a person is no longer fully human." "Oh, God." Simon's face paled. "It turns you into one of them." "In a roundabout way, yes. The brothers at the abbey knew of it and when they saw my symptoms—remember how I never could fully shake the sickness even after my body healed?—they knew what was happening to me. When the transformations first begin, a person will alternate forms— switching between human and beast. Each time, though, it 28


becomes more difficult to shift back to human form, and eventually the beast consumes the person's body and mind and there's nothing human left." "But you're still part man..." "The brothers taught me how to control it. The beast is always there inside me, but with diligence, I control when it comes to the surface." Simon looked stricken, which caused a sick ache in Jade's stomach. You're a beast now and he hunts beasts. What did you expect? "I guess it comes back to that same question I asked you earlier, doesn't it?" Jade said with a sigh. "What will you do with me now that you know I'm a creature of both worlds? Does the blood of the beast in me make me only a beast in your eyes?" He gave Simon a searching look, even as his heart pounded with apprehension. Once, Simon might have felt something for Jade the human, but Jade the half-animal was something else all together. Nine years was a long time, and though Jade wanted to believe Simon still possessed a good heart, maybe hunting the beings of Vertigo for so long had jaded him to the point he wouldn't be able to see the heart of the man who still lived in Jade's body regardless of its form. He could only pray Simon would find it in him to spare him because unbeknownst to Simon, Simon needed him. Something big was coming out of Vertigo, something terrifying. It's why Jade had come looking for Simon and risked exposing himself this way. But before he could trust 29


the man again, he'd had to know up front if Simon could accept him for who he truly was. Jade knew he wouldn't be able to be around Simon without wanting him all over again, and he wouldn't be able to stand the pain if Simon rejected him after Jade had had another taste of being near him. "So what's it going to be?" Jade said, keeping his voice low in spite of the fact what he really wanted was to yell at the man to just give him a chance. But Simon had never been one for giving chances. He didn't even give them to himself. "I can't..." Simon's face contorted in pain, as if he couldn't bear to speak the words. Jade's heart fell. When Simon lifted his sword, Jade tilted his chin up and closed his eyes. It had been a long shot, coming to find Simon. And it had failed. "Make it quick," he whispered. "And God help us all." [Back to Table of Contents]

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CHAPTER 3 The blow, when it came, wasn't what Jade had expected. It shuddered through the chains that held his wrists and rang out through the night with a startling, metallic clang. His heart pounding, he opened his eyes in time to see Simon lifting his blade from where it had just struck the length of chain wrapped around the old parking meter. The pressure on Jade's wrists suddenly gave. As the chains slithered to the ground around him, he stared in shock at Simon. Who straightened, then lifted his head and met Jade's gaze with his own churning one. The glow from the lone street lamp at the alley's entrance glinted off the golden highlights in Simon's longish, tousled hair and emphasized the stark leanness of his handsome face. With his magnificent sword in hand, and long duster coat flaring out around him, Simon was a sight to behold. Especially to Jade, who'd been starved for him for so long. With a swift, graceful movement, Simon sheathed his sword beneath his coat. "I can't..." he said again, his voice husky with unnamed emotion. "Can't?" Jade almost didn't dare to breathe. "I can't hurt you," he whispered. He appeared so tormented it ripped at Jade's insides and all he wanted at that moment was to tug Simon into an embrace and find a way to ease his anguish. He'd always felt that way about Simon. The damned stubborn man held in so much pain, as if the fate of the world was somehow on his 31


shoulders alone. But he'd never shared his burdens. Never hinted at what drove him. His face and body were those of a thirty-something man, yet whatever secrets he kept made his troubled eyes seem much older. Jade suspected he was far harder on himself than any demon he hunted. "Simon..." Simon suddenly reached for him, pulled him into his arms, and before Jade had a chance to question or even breathe, jerked him through the dark brick wall of the machining plant. "Damn ... a little warning next time would be nice," Jade gasped, his pulse racing and skin tingling with an odd pins and needles sensation from passing through the brick. "That was completely freaky." Simon placed a finger over his mouth. "Shh ... I heard someone down the street," he whispered. "I know, I smelled them. Demons." "A lot of them. I don't know if they'll come up the alley or not, but there are too many to take on at once. Better to wait them out. They won't find us here." Jade's heart skipped a beat when he realized Simon wanted to protect him even though he knew what Jade really was. He didn't need the man's protection, but the fact Simon wanted to do it regardless of what he now knew spoke louder than any words. He still cares. A tremor of emotional relief shook Jade at the very core. They'd phased through the wall into what felt, in the dark, very much like a broom closet or tiny storage room. Jade's human vision was better than average, but he didn't really 32


have true, preternatural night vision unless he was in wolf form. Still, he sensed walls pressing in all around them. But mostly what overwhelmed him was the realization he was still wrapped in Simon's embrace. In the tight space, they stood in such close proximity he heard the beat of Simon's heart, felt the heat pouring off his body, and smelled the faint spicy scent he'd always associated with the man. The sensations brought back the memory of Simon's body against his in a different time and place, warm and hard in all the right ways, sweet, hungry kisses, the soft sounds of pleasure, and Simon's taste on his tongue. Jade shuddered with long-suffering desire. God, he didn't think he'd ever not want Simon Saint-Saens. He'd ache for him even in the afterlife, if there were such a thing. As if reading his mind, Simon's callused hand stroked up and down Jade's back, and Jade felt the man trembling. Jade closed his eyes, flexed his fingers around Simon's forearms, and savored the contact. He didn't know how long this reprieve would last, but didn't want to take it for granted or do anything to make it stop. "Tell me something only you and I would know," Simon whispered against Jade's ear. He still obviously sought reassurance, and Jade was glad to give it. Especially if it meant being able to stay close to him for a bit longer. "You have a small birthmark shaped like a sword on the inside of your left thigh." He remembered well kissing it, licking it as he moved closer and closer to Simon's heavy balls 33


and beautiful, jutting cock. "It's near your groin." He smiled. "You were ticklish when I touched it." "I remember," Simon murmured, his breath warm against Jade's neck. His nose and then the rough but pleasant scrape of his stubbled cheek, whether intentional or by accident, brushed the sensitive skin beneath Jade's ear, sending shockwaves of awareness skipping over his nerve endings. Another shudder swept through Jade, and there was no way he could control his growing erection. Simon would have to be dead not to feel it, as close as they stood. Jade just had to hope his blatant arousal wouldn't scare Simon away. But instead of pulling away, Simon's hand now brushed slow, sensual circles against Jade's lower back, each one moving farther down until his thumb traced over the seam of Jade's bare ass. Oh, God ... Simon's touch felt so good. "What else?" Simon asked, breathless. Emboldened by Simon's response, Jade dared to reach down, and found Simon wasn't immune to their nearness either—the hard bulge behind the fabric of his well-worn jeans made it abundantly clear he was as aroused as Jade. Jade gave a hiss of pleasure. He'd dreamed of this, but hadn't expected it. He splayed his hand against the firm length and squeezed. "Your eyes turn dark as midnight when you come. I remember looking up and thinking I'd never seen a color so deep blue, yet so crystal clear and beautiful. I could really see you for the first time, with no barriers between us, see the passionate, tender man you were beneath your walls." 34


"No," Simon whispered, shaking his head. "I wasn't..." "Yes, you were. It was the one and only time you ever let me in. I could have stayed like that all night, with your cock in my mouth, sucking you off, watching you. Your cum tasted like honey, sweeter than anything I'd ever had. Or maybe it was because I'd never wanted anyone or anything like I wanted you. I never forgot, Simon. Never forgot how you feel, how you look, how you taste." "Jade..." His name was a sigh of longing. "It's really you, isn't it?" Unexpected tears stung Jade's eyes. "Yes." Simon's hand slid lower, cradling Jade's ass, and his other hand came up to tangle in his hair. Then his lips were against Jade's forehead, his eyes, and finally his mouth in a gentle, tentative touch, as if he were afraid Jade might break or disappear. For Jade, the contact was electric, a gift he'd thought he'd never again receive. With a soft moan, he opened to Simon willingly, slid his hands beneath Simon's coat to clutch his waist, and leaned into him. At Jade's easy acceptance, Simon's hesitation morphed into a raw, desperate hunger that stole Jade's breath. It was a side of Simon he'd never seen. The last time, he'd been the one to initiate the contact with Simon, and their coming together, brief though it was, had been sweet and almost cautious on Simon's part. This, however, was both better and more fierce than it had been nine years ago. Maybe because there were nine years of pent-up need between them. 35


Not a day had gone by that he hadn't thought of Simon, hadn't wanted him. Now he wondered why he'd waited so long to come back. You know why ... because you're not the same as you were before. And neither is he. Simon's a man on a mission now, hunting and killing creatures like you. But Simon hadn't killed him outside when he'd had a chance. He's still uncertain, though. You saw it in his eyes. If you continue playing with fire like this, he's going to break your heart again. The last time Jade had had a taste of what being with Simon was really like, had let himself care, it felt as if his heart had been ripped from his body when Simon backed off. If he let himself get too close and it happened again, if Simon shut him out again, this time he feared he'd lose his soul. Yet even knowing the risk, he didn't think he had the willpower to step away now. Not with the way Simon was kissing him, touching him. His callused hands roamed Jade's body, tracing the contours of his chest, brushing over his nipples, exploring his back, stroking his hips, kneading his ass. Their groins moved in sync, rocking together, trying to get as close as possible. Simon touched him like a man dying of thirst who'd just found water. And Jade didn't have any desire to stop him because he felt the same way. When Simon's hand slid between them and his fingers curled around Jade's cock, the last of Jade's internal warnings and cautions faded under the onslaught of much more 36


powerful cravings. He groaned against Simon's mouth, and Simon kissed it away, licking at his tongue, then thrusting with it in the same slow, seductive motion as his hand pulled at Jade's shaft. I missed you. Missed you so damned much. He wanted to speak the words aloud, but Simon's plundering of his mouth prevented it. All he could do was thrust his cock into the man's warm, skillful hand, and moan softly in appreciation. Tingling heat surged just beneath Jade's skin all over his body, making it ultra-sensitive. The abrasion of Simon's jeans, T-shirt, and coat was almost more than he could stand. Jade was used to and comfortable with his own nudity, since it was part and parcel of shifting out of his wolf form. But right now he felt at a disadvantage that he was naked and accessible to Simon, yet Simon was completely dressed. "Need to touch you," he murmured, pulling his lips free long enough to catch his breath. His fingers slid down to work at the button and zipper of Simon's jeans. If he had his way, Simon would be as nude as he, but in the tight space they were in, he'd settle for just getting his damned pants out of the way. When the denim parted and the hot, turgid length of flesh sprang free to fill Jade's waiting hand, Simon moaned and his hips jerked. "You feel so good," Jade murmured. And he did. Hard, sleek, pulsing, with droplets of cream already seeping from his slit. He brushed his thumb through the moisture, rubbing 37


it in, drawing another soft gust of breath from Simon. "Do you know how many times I've thought of this?" "How many?" Simon's voice shook. "Too many to count." Jade reached down with his other hand and sandwiched both his cock and Simon's between his two palms. He squeezed and rolled the two pricks together, growing lightheaded at the incredible heat they generated and the exquisite pleasure as they slid against each other. "Jade ... God..." Simon's hands settled atop Jade's, helping set the pace. His mouth covered Jade's again in a soulsearing kiss. Good ... so good... Very quickly, a buzzing fullness built in Jade's balls, making his dick even harder. Between their hands, their combined pre-cum slicked their cockheads, and Jade began rubbing his thumb over both of them on each stroke. Simon tore his mouth away. "Unnnh ... oh, shit.... Jade." The sound of his ragged, appreciative voice urged Jade on. He pumped harder, Simon's hands still latched over his. Their hips thrust. The intoxicating smell of perspiration and hot cum billowed up around them. "Oh-my-fucking-God!" The whispered cry slid out of Jade's mouth at the same moment his cock spasmed and a load of spunk jetted from it. That triggered Simon's release, and as they moaned and thrust, hot cum filled their hands and dripped between their fingers. Simon's mouth covered his, swallowing his final sounds of pleasure, his tongue stroking hard and deep. Jade kissed back 38


with just as much intensity. It was as if the mutual climax had only unleashed something bigger and more powerful between them and neither of them could get enough. And then, suddenly, Simon pulled away, breaking all contact. Jade stood there, still shaking from the fucking incredible orgasm they'd just shared and completely confused at Simon's sudden withdrawal and the loss of contact. "What?" he breathed. "What is it?" "This ... us..." Simon's voice sounded choked. "This wasn't a good idea. We can't do this." Shock reverberated through Jade's system, followed by a stabbing pain in his heart like a hot knife slicing him open and leaving him bleeding. "We just did. And you're the one who started it. You kissed me ... touched me." "I know," Simon said so softly Jade had to strain to hear him. "I know I did. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have." "We just shared..." Jade's voice faltered as he tripped over words to say. "I'm sorry." You damn, stupid fool. You set yourself up for this. What did you expect? A few minutes alone with him in the dark and you fell for him all over again. No, he hadn't fallen for Simon all over again ... he'd never stopped loving him from before. Which made the rejection hurt that much worse. Not wanting Simon to hear just how deeply he'd wounded him, Jade said, "It's okay, I get it. I'm not exactly human 39


anymore and you're the Saint. You kill my kind, not fuck 'em." He heard a soft intake of breath and could almost imagine the pained look on Simon's face. "Jade ... it's not that simple." But Jade wasn't dumb. "It's exactly that simple. There's no need to mince words." He was doing his damnedest to hide his hurt behind bravado, but had a feeling he was failing miserably. "I'm grateful you spared my life outside, but I wasn't expecting anything else from you. I didn't come here to find you for this. I only came to warn you." "Warn me?" He heard Simon refastening his jeans, which only made the rejection that much sharper, and reminded Jade all over again how exposed and vulnerable he was, with his cock bare and still slick with their mingled cum. If he could have taken another step away from Simon and put more space between them he would have, but the wall of the tiny room loomed against his back. There was nowhere to escape to. "Something's happening in Vertigo," he said, trying to keep his voice steady and not give away how badly he wanted to be away from here. "Someone or something new has taken over. Whatever it is, it's big, organized, and has the other demons scrambling to do its bidding. You've developed something of a name for yourself amongst the dregs of the demon world. It's just a matter of time before this new big bad finds out about you if it doesn't know already. And when it does ... it may very well perceive you as a threat and come looking for you." 40


"How do you know all this?" Simon asked, his voice edged with the cautious, not-quite-trusting tone again that thrust the knife into Jade's heart just a little farther. "Because I'm one of them now, remember?" Jade said bitterly. "Even though I don't live in Vertigo, and my kind isn't exactly a popular favorite with the pure-breeds, I can still slink around mostly unnoticed. I hear things. See things. Demons are spreading farther and deeper into this world. The rifts are mostly here in the city, but many demons are coming through and not returning, hiding out in the sewers, abandoned building, caves, traveling at night, and moving across the country. There are more than you're probably aware of. Some are leaving because they're scared of this new being. I came back to tell you. So you could be prepared." Jade dragged in a shaky breath. "Look, the demons that were out there earlier have moved on by now. Get us out of here, please. I want to track them." He had to grit his teeth to keep from moaning in raw need and sorrow when Simon's arm wrapped around his waist again. Simon moved through the wall, taking Jade with him. The moment they were once more in the alley, Jade backed away, putting several feet between them. "What do you mean track them?" Simon asked. He looked cool and collected and, for just an instant, Jade hated him for it. With his own body feeling torturously betrayed and his chest crushing, he hated that Simon could look so calm and unaffected by what had just happened between them. But when he studied him more closely, he discovered that wasn't the case at all. Simon's eyes gave him 41


away—they swirled with undisguised pain and the same uncertainty as earlier. It only gave Jade a tiny sense of satisfaction, though, because as always, he hated to see Simon suffer. Even now. Damn the man to hell. "I told you, the demon's are getting more organized," Jade said. "I can track them by their scent, and may be able to find out more information if I follow them." "I'll go with you." "No." God, no. A thousand times no. Jade had to get away and lick his wounds right now. The last thing he needed was to have Simon tagging along. "In my other form I can travel faster without you. And I understand many of their languages. You don't." "I don't want you to get hurt, Jade. Please." Jade glared at him, his chest already aching with hurt ... and anger. "You don't get to have it both ways, Simon. You push me away, lock me out of your life, but yet again you claim to want to protect me. Well, I don't need your protection. I'm not a kid or an innocent. I wasn't the last time you knew me, in spite of what you wanted to believe, and I'm sure as hell not now. I've lived alone for nine years, learned to control and deal with this shitty existence I call my own ... all without your 'protection.' So you go do whatever it is you do, and leave me alone to do what I need to." Simon looked genuinely shaken at his outburst. "I'm sor—" "Don't. I don't want to hear it. It's over and done with." He turned to leave, but Simon called him back. 42


"Will I see you again?" Simon asked, sounding more uncertain than Jade had ever heard him. Jade looked at him over his shoulder. "If I turn up anything of interest, I'll let you know." "Let me tell you where I live then..." "Don't bother," Jade said curtly. "I have your scent now. If I want to find you, I will. One of the advantages of being a beast." Without a backward glance, he shifted into the wolf and took off at a lope. But even as his beast's mind and senses focused on the trail of the demons, his human heart broke all over again. [Back to Table of Contents]

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CHAPTER 4 Simon shuddered awake to find himself tangled and sweaty in his bedsheets, his hand stroking his aching cock. He blinked, trying to get his bearings. He'd been sleeping like hell for days, and more often than not of late, he woke up feeling more exhausted and out of sorts than he'd been when he'd gone to bed. Streaks of crimson and orange slid through the cracks between the partially closed window blinds, causing a kaleidoscopic burst of odd shapes across the high beamed ceiling, walls, and wood floor of his open loft apartment. Nearly sunset. Almost time to get up. But rather than pull himself out of bed, he kicked away the sheet wrapped around his legs, closed his eyes again, and imagined, as he'd been doing all week, that Jade was here with him. That it was Jade's hand wrapped around his shaft rather than his own. A week had passed since he'd discovered Jaden was alive. A week to relive every moment of their reunion. Every emotion. Every word, look, touch. And every damned mistake Simon had made. Over and over and over. A week of miserable sleeplessness. But when he did doze off, it was a slumber filled with dreams that always ended with Jade leaving, and Simon waking up alone and so damned hard and unfulfilled he had no choice but to jack off to ease the physical pain. And today was no different. 44


For years he'd held close to his heart the memory of the night so long ago when, for a few short hours, Jade had given him the first bit of peace and contentment he'd had since he'd found himself in this world, in this life. Once again it came back to him, sweeping him up to a time long past... **** He'd had a nightmare ... a terrible one, filled with horror and death, like they always were. He must have cried out in his sleep because when he awoke, he found Jade sitting next to him on the bed, brushing his hair back off his face, his touch as gentle and soothing as anything Simon had ever felt. "I'm sorry. Did I wake you?" he asked the younger man. Jade shrugged. "I wasn't sleeping well either. You were having another nightmare." Simon took several deep breaths, still trying to calm his racing pulse after the horrific things he'd seen. "I'm okay." "Do you want to talk about it?" "No. I'll be all right. You can go back to bed. I'm sorry I disturbed you." "You're always so alone," Jade said softly, his fingertips teasing through the light dusting of hair on Simon's chest. "Even with me here, you're still alone. It makes me sad." Simon gazed up into his face, letting himself get lost, for just a moment, in the younger man's soulful eyes. "I don't mean to make you sad." Jade had been through so much in his lifetime. All Simon wished for him was happiness. "I know you don't. But just once, instead of being the strong one, will you let me help you?" 45


"I ... I'm not sure I know what you mean." "Do you trust me?" "Yes." "Implicitly?" "Yes." "Then close your eyes. And no matter what happens, keep them closed and just let yourself feel. Let your mind and your body and your heart accept." Simon stared up at him, uncertain. "Trust me. Please." Finally, with a nod, Simon closed his eyes. He didn't know what Jade thought he could do to help, was certain nothing really would, but if it made Jade happy, he'd go along. The last thing he expected was to have the covers gently pulled off his body, exposing his nudity. He started to open his eyes and protest, but Jade was already murmuring softly against his ear. "Trust me, Simon." Jade had him roll over onto his stomach, and for the next half-hour his warm, deft hands stroked and massaged every inch of Simon's backside—his shoulders, arms, back, gluts, legs. Simon's body turned to putty under his attention, growing more and more relaxed with each passing minute. When Jade had him roll back over, not only relaxation pulsed through Simon, but burgeoning arousal as well. He tried to pull the covers up to hide it, but Jade pushed his hands away and wouldn't let him hide. Jade plied the same attention to his front as he had his back ... except this time, his insistent hands not only worked over Simon's muscles, but also delivered slow, easy strokes in 46


more intimate regions, kneading into the crease between his groin and thigh, gently massaging his testicles, then brushing over his throbbing cock. Simon knew he should protest when the attention turned intimate, but by that time he was so far lost in the blissful magic Jade had woven around him, he couldn't bear to stop him. A part of his brain that still functioned normally cautioned him this wasn't wise. But for the first time in memory, he pushed that warning voice away and gave himself up to the unbridled peace Jade offered. He wasn't sure when it happened, but the massaging turned to caresses, and then to warm, fluttering kisses over his lips, his neck, his chest. The flick of a tongue curled around one nipple, then the other. It burrowed into his navel, eliciting a low groan from Simon at the astonishingly erotic sensation. And then his legs were being spread. A lean masculine body lay between them. A warm mouth kissed and licked its way up the insides of his thighs, nuzzled and sucked his balls, and engulfed his aching cock into such glorious damp heat Simon gasped and, without thinking, opened his eyes. The sight that filled his vision—his cock buried to the hilt in Jade's beautiful, sensuous mouth—made his heart ache. Their gazes locked, and Simon couldn't have torn his away if he'd tried. As Jade hollowed his cheeks and sucked him off, one hand curled around the base of Simon's cock, guiding it, and the other tickling his balls, then moving lower to flutter against his quivering hole, Simon was lost. 47


"Oh, Jade..." he breathed, his heart so full it felt close to bursting. When he exploded in copious bursts, Jaden swallowed it down, then licked him clean with a sweet, sexy smile. Simon pulled him up and kissed him. Then, wanting to give back some of what Jade had just given him, Simon rolled him to his back and went down on him, worshipping the younger man's long, sleek phallus with his hands, mouth, and tongue. He'd never tasted anything so good, had never wanted more to please someone. Had never wanted to be closer to anyone than he did Jade. He could so easily lose himself in this man, in his warmth and gentleness and giving sensuality ... so different from the nightmare Simon lived in the rest of the time. He brought Jade to the edge, backed off, then brought him to it again and took him over it, relishing Jade's soft cries as he came, memorizing every sight, every sound, every scent so he'd never forget this night. Afterward, he held Jade in his arms, wanting it to be like this always. "I love you, Simon," Jade murmured as he drifted to sleep. And in that instant, Simon knew what had happened between them could never happen again. **** "Jade..." Simon cried as his orgasm hit, sending rivers of hot cream over his pumping hand and onto his stomach and chest. 48


Physically and emotionally exhausted, Simon dropped his hand to the mattress beside him, too drained to give a damn about the sticky puddles of cum drying on his skin, and wished for all he was worth that Jade were really here. But he'd destroyed any chance of that a week ago. For nine years he'd thought the man was dead, and when he found out he was alive, all he'd wanted to do was hold him close and never, ever again let him go. Instead, the same damned old fears had consumed him, and he'd pushed Jade away. My God. What a fucking ass he'd been. And then Jade had bolted. He realized now in retrospect that while Jade might really have wanted to track the group of demons, first and foremost he'd simply wanted to get away from Simon. Because once again, in the name of keeping him safe, all Simon had done was hurt him. Better to hurt him this way and ensure his safety than the alternative. But was it? That was the question that had plagued him all week. Look what had happened the last time he'd had that attitude. He'd sent Jaden to the abbey to protect him, certain he was far better off there than with him. But instead, everyone at the abbey had died, and if not for a bit of fateful timing, Jade would have been one of them. As it was, Jade had truly been sick, his body fighting the "virus" given to him in Vertigo, and he'd been alone and scared because Simon had abandoned him when Jade needed him most. He'd said the brothers had helped him learn to control his affliction, for which Simon was eternally grateful 49


because it sounded as if the alternative would have lost the Jade he knew forever. But it couldn't have been easy. And once the brothers were dead, then what? Where had Jade been all this time? He hadn't said, but Simon got the impression they hadn't been easy years for him. Damn it, he should have been there for him. Should have been there to support him however he could. Yeah, it had torn him inside out to discover his gentle, sweet Jaden had become part creature of Vertigo. The truth of it had staggered him. But the moment he'd realized it really was Jade, he'd known he could never harm him, no matter what form he was in. If only... He squeezed his eyes closed. If only what? If only his own life weren't so fucked up? If only Jade hadn't been transformed into a were-wolf? If only the rifts didn't open here in the city and the demons didn't come through? If only he and Jade could be together in some cheerful happily-everafter fairy tale? He could go on for hours with a list of sad what-ifs, but it did no good. This was reality. And in this reality, he had nothing to offer Jade. He never had. Nothing but uncertainty, pain, and a past shrouded in mystery. How could he offer himself to Jaden when he didn't even know who he really was? And that's what scared him most of all. That was why it could never work. He hadn't heard a word from Jade since they'd parted in the alley. He had to face the possibility he never would again. 50


Maybe that was for the best. Maybe it would be easier that way. But deep at the core of his being, a hollow emptiness consumed Simon. Jade was the only person, the only anything, in this world to ever make him feel whole. And for a brief space of time, holding Jade in his arms in the dark the other night, feeling his heart beat next to Simon's own, he'd been complete again, as he hadn't been since he'd sent Jade away so long ago. Face the truth ... you could have continued to have that if Jade were willing. Instead, you ran off the only man you've ever loved. Sick at heart, he knew had no one to blame but himself. Sad, and aching to the bone with exhaustion, Simon finally dragged himself from the bed, showered, and dressed. Time to get back to the one and only sure thing he had in his life ... the hunt. **** Several hours later, Simon lay on his stomach in the dark rafters of an old, abandoned meatpacking plant near the river, watching four large demons with skin the color and texture of rotting tree bark moving about below, making preparations for some kind of ritual. This was something new. He'd never before seen beings from Vertigo dabbling in the dark arts—and that's clearly what they were doing, with the large circle and occult symbols they'd painted on the floor, the burning torches 51


anchored to the walls, and the other bits and pieces of eerie paraphernalia they'd gathered. Not a good omen. Simon wondered if it had anything to do with the rumblings Jade had been hearing concerning the demon world. He hadn't been surprised by Jade's observations that some of the demons were showing signs of organization. The one thing that had been news to him, though, was the idea of a new "bad" in Vertigo doing the organizing. Jade's description of demons running scared from it left Simon cold. Demons didn't scare easily. The demons of Vertigo were broken into species and factions, each with its own leaders. And being the virulent race they were, tempers ran hot and fighting amongst individuals and factions was a given, with winners taking over the holdings of the losers who were usually dead at that point. But he'd never heard of any one being or even any one group taking over everything, much less striking fear in the population. Simon needed more information, and had decided he was going to have to spend more time on reconnaissance when he went hunting each night, rather than going straight for the kill, as was his usual pattern. Which was why he'd perched up here in the shadows. Despite Jade's assumption, Simon did understand bits and pieces of some of the demon languages. But it rankled that it wasn't enough he could truly follow conversations. If you hadn't been such an asshole to Jade, he might be here with you right now and could tell you what's being said down there. 52


Simon grimaced and didn't even try to stop the guilt that knotted in his stomach. The truth sucked. He'd noticed in general over the past few months that while he still came across a goodly number of individual demons who wandered through the rifts to create havoc, groups were becoming more common. It had been a concern, and forced him to be much more cautious on the hunt. It was one thing to deal with a demon or two, but even he, with his super strength, unusual abilities, and his sword that could slice through things no sword should be able to, had limitations. He'd always preferred stealth—sneaking up on demons and their beasts and taking them down before they had a chance to fight back. It was much more efficient than picking an open fight, and it allowed him to deal quietly and quickly with several Vertigoan entities each night without raising an alarm. Groups, however, posed a trickier situation. In order to be most effective, he utilized the motto "divide and conquer." In a perfect scenario, he watched, waited, and took them out one or two at a time as they strayed from the group. More organization, however, meant less straying. Which made his job much tougher. Most demons who came through the rifts did so to feed, to enslave humans, barter with the handful of questionable human criminals stupid enough to deal with them, or for pure evil sport. Different species of demon tended to gravitate toward certain activities. The Moles—short, sharp-teethed, rat-faced creatures—could almost always be found gambling and carousing and were easy to follow by the string of bodies 53


with ripped off arms they left in their wake around card tables. The Veen had only one mission Simon had ever been able to discover—to feed. One of them could single-handedly tear through a household in a few minutes. Two or three could take out an entire gathering of humans, and, in fact, they often targeted locations known for human congregation. Volgarans, the large brutes like the one who'd kept Jade as a slave for so many years, were often the workers in the demon world, running the industrial trades. They came into this world almost exclusively to find young, strong humans to enslave and use as laborers. Any humans who got in their way or who they deemed too old or unacceptable, they killed without a second thought ... as they'd done with Jade's parents. The demons below were K'arpaths. Even bigger than the seven-foot tall Volgarans, the K'arpaths, from what little Simon knew of them, were the equivalent of henchmen in human society—not necessarily too bright, but all muscle and eager to kill. They weren't typically friendly with one another, and they weren't often seen in this world, so it had surprised Simon to discover not just one, but four working together. And working together to create black magic at that. The question now was, did he wait and watch and see what kind of dark mojo they were planning to work, so he'd have a better idea what he might be dealing with? Or did he create a distraction to separate them, then take them out before they conjured up something even more foul than they were? 54


Simon pondered it for a few seconds, then decided whatever the plan, he needed to get closer. He rose and with sure steps made his way across the rafters to the outer wall, where he dropped silently to a metal catwalk several feet below. He followed it partway around the perimeter of the large open building, until a branch forked away to the center of the room. He turned and, with much more caution than before, since he was out in the open now, crept closer to the activity in the middle of the large room, until he was almost directly above it. The demons stepped into the circle and each took a position at its edge to correspond with the cardinal directions of south, west, north, and east. They started to chant—a low, guttural sound in a language Simon couldn't fathom. With narrowed eyes, Simon watched. A large, deep-red glyph that looked like it had been painted in blood in the center of the circle began to emit smoke, though nothing with a flame had come in contact with it. At first it was so faint it could have been a trick of the imagination, a mere wisp of nothingness, almost unseen with just a hint of a sweet, sickly smell. But slowly it became more substantial, until a thin redblack plume rose in the air and danced seductively, as if blown by a breeze. What the hell? They did all this to make smoke? As he continued to watch, however, the sweet smell increased, making Simon's eyes water and throat burn, and the wavering plume coalesced and snapped into a thick, perfectly straight line perpendicular to the floor, as if it had 55


suddenly been called to attention. A point like an arrow formed at its tip. With a suddenness that shocked him, the sharp-pointed plume angled directly at Simon and shot toward him. In a frozen split-second he watched the bizarre smoke arrow flying at him, and, at the same instant, saw the four demons below look up and spot him. "Not good." Not certain what kind of nasty, occult damage the smoky arrow could do to him, but suspecting it wouldn't be healthy to find out, Simon reacted on pure instinct. He drew his sword and dropped from the catwalk into the midst of the demons below. He swung his blade at the closest K'arpath and struck, severing its head from its thick, tree trunk-like neck and sending it flying before his own feet even hit the ground. One down, caught by surprise, but still three to go. Three very large, very strong, very angry K'arpaths. He'd landed inside the circle, and with his booted foot, he quickly scuffed out the smoking glyph in the center, putting an end to any more evil hocus pocus, even as he turned to deal with the other growling demons. Their own assorted blades and axes drawn, they came at him full force. Simon sidestepped the first strike, the second, ducked the third, then with a quick turn and a grunt, landed his own on the nearest brute, beheading it. The force of the blow shuddered through the sword and up into his arms. Breathing hard, Simon turned to face the two remaining demons, thinking he just might, with luck, get out of this situation in one piece. 56


But as the two demons charged him, a dark, shimmering split opened in the air at the end of the huge room—a rift. He heard the sound of pounding feet. And then another dozen heavily-armed K'arpaths spilled out of the air and ran straight for him. Ice flooded through Simon's veins. "Oh, shit..." [Back to Table of Contents]

57


CHAPTER 5 Blood... Oh, God. Simon's blood! Already loping, Jade broke into a dead run, following the scent that had suddenly permeated his senses. The beast in him, reduced to its most primitive urges at the coppery aroma, rejoiced, anxious to hunt ... find ... feed! But the human in him shoved the bloodthirsty interloper into the deepest pit of his psyche, slammed the door, and locked it. No hunting. No feeding. Ever. Just like always. And this was Simon, damn it! He was hurt... Fear propelled him to move faster through the clinging, warm night air, to push his wolf's body harder as he ran through the dark streets that had once thrived with life, but now stank of fear and desperation. This section of the city had been one of the worst hit when the rifts first began to open and the creatures from Vertigo came through, bringing horror and death to all those who encountered them. And now few humans dared to live, work, or even pass these streets because they'd become the playground of the demons. "Demons" the beings had been labeled because when they'd first appeared, the devout had believed Armageddon was upon them and the creatures were of Satan. Whether the beings of Vertigo were truly demons in the Biblical sense, and Vertigo some version of hell, or they were simply a vile, warlike race of parasites who'd discovered 58


a world that could provide them with what they needed, Jade didn't know. But at this point, he didn't think the details really mattered any more. The fact was, they'd come through to this world like a plague, and as most plagues did, they were spreading and leaving death in their wake. Which, he knew, was exactly why Simon hunted here. Jade had come here looking for him, knowing Simon would be somewhere in this moldering section of the city tonight, as he was every night. Knowing he'd pick up Simon's scent on the ground or in the air, and it would lead him to the man. But he hadn't expected to pick up Simon's blood scent. Another jolt of fear shot through Jaden. Damn it, Simon. Please be okay... He had to remind himself Simon had been hunting a long time and he had abilities other people didn't. You haven't even been around, so aren't you being as much of a hypocrite as you accused him of being? You told him you didn't need his protection and could take care of yourself. He can do the same. It didn't matter. He'd just gotten Simon back in his life and the smell of Simon's blood had stirred such anxiety in him, he couldn't deal with it logically. It wasn't about what Simon could or couldn't do when he hunted, it was about Jade seeing him alive and well with his own eyes. He'd come looking for Simon to share information, as he'd said he would, but it was only an excuse. From the moment Simon had stepped through the rift, killed the Volgaran demons, and lifted him in his arms, Jade had belonged to the man body and soul. Even nine years apart, and his own 59


struggle to cope with the beast inside him hadn't changed that. He'd carried Simon with him in his heart through every moment. Simon was his heart. Convincing Simon of that, however, was something else all together. Jade had thought about their encounter in the dark all week, had been able to think of nothing else. And though he still hurt from the way Simon had treated him, he'd come back because he was dead certain Simon wanted him as much as he wanted Simon. What they'd experienced together last week had been a revelation to Jade, and probably to Simon as well, which is when he'd bailed. The man was running scared, just like he had been before. But this time, Jade was no sickly, easily-tricked young thing. He was a grown man who knew what he wanted. And he wanted Simon Saint-Saens. It was time to get to the bottom of things with Simon once and for all. Blood... The scent grew stronger, and Jade found himself in an old industrial section of the city by the river. Simon was close. There. A huge, windowless brick building loomed out of the dark. A large, faded wood sign hung on the side of the building facing the deserted street: Harper & Sons Meats. The metal garage-style doors that faced the front were closed, their blank, rusted faces standing guard like silent sentries. Jade found a side door, also closed, but made of wood. His powerful hindquarter muscles bunched, and then 60


he was lunging at the wood, using his solid weight and the preternatural strength of the beast to break through it. His paws landed on cool concrete, and hearing the unmistakable sounds of battle, he took off into the building, the smell of Simon's life force both stronger because he was near, but also weaker now, as if he were fading. The putrid odor of fresh demon blood—lots of it—mixed with Simon's. Jade charged down a tight hallway, rounded a corner, and burst into a large, open warehouse-type space lit by torches. The smells, sights and sounds of blood, battle, death, and demon hit him hard, causing him to stagger for a moment as his highly acute senses registered and tried to cope with the overload. And then he saw Simon ... in the center of the room surrounded by K'arpath demons, dead and alive. Huge, brown demon bodies and grotesque severed heads littered the ground around him, while a half dozen more, very much alive, attacked him. Oh, no ... no, no, no. Why would Simon have tried to take on so many K'arpath demons at once? They were large, strong creatures with no purpose in life but to kill. But Jade's powerful sense of smell immediately sorted out what had happened. The lingering scent of ozone in the air indicated a rift had opened here. The K'arpaths must have come through it and caught Simon unaware. Like an avenging angel, Simon lunged and dove and swung his sword, but he was moving slowly. Too slowly for him. Crimson stains covered his jeans, shirt, coat. He fought with 61


only one arm, the other held close against his stomach, where rivers of blood gushed. The beast in Jade clawed its way to the surface and took over. An intense, primal rage such as he'd never known before blazed through his veins like wildfire, with only one objective—protect his mate. He lunged into the fray, leaping at the closest demon with a deafening snarl, and tore out its throat. As it dropped to the ground, writhing, Jade jumped at another, biting and tearing at it in a frenzy. Kill. Kill them all! Power surged through him, fueled by the rage he couldn't control. Kill. Protect your mate! The tiny human part of Jade that was still functioning felt real fear that now the beast was loosed, he'd not be able to rein it in again. But his terror for Simon overwhelmed everything else, and if giving himself up to the beast meant saving Simon's life, then so be it. Jade's sense of time blurred. His entire existence focused around removing the threat, and while the first demon had gone down quickly because he'd caught it by surprise, the others weren't as easy and fought hard. Jade bled from several cuts where the K'arpaths had found purchase with their weapons, but like Simon, he refused to back down. Jade finally felled a particularly big and brutal K'arpath who'd flayed Jade open in several places, and nearly crushed his throat at one point. Jade bit into the K'arpath equivalent of the carotid artery, and the K'arpath fell to the floor with a 62


gurgled shout. His meaty fist gave one last feeble swing, then he fell limp as his eyes glazed over. Jade turned and saw Simon get the best of yet another demon. But while Simon's focus was on the one he'd slain, the last remaining demon moved in behind him and drove a thick broadsword into his back. As if the earth had suddenly stopped spinning and time had slowed to a crawl, Jade watched in horror as Simon winced and a soft grunt escaped his mouth. A haunting look of surprise crossed his pained, handsome face, then he staggered and dropped to his knees, his sword clattering to the blood-slicked concrete floor. NO! With a howl of outrage, Jade barreled into the demon. Oblivious to his own exhaustion and wounds, and filled with shock and fear for his mate, he held nothing back, ripping and shredding, taking out all his anger on the brute. Only when it finally sank in that the creature no longer moved, was no longer even recognizable, did sanity creep back into Jade's mind. He backed away, the human in him horrified at what he'd done, and yet at the same time exulting that justice had been served. But when he caught sight of Simon, now slumped on the ground on his side, the sword still jutting from his back, anguish flooded through Jade. He trotted to Simon and butted his face against Simon's cheek, whining and licking. Simon reached up and buried a hand in the fur at his neck. "Jade..." he whispered, a faint, pained smile curving his lips. 63


Needing to touch Simon, hold him with human hands, Jade dug deep within himself to regain control of the beast. It fought him, not wanting to cooperate after having been given such freedom, but in the end Jade prevailed. The pain of his form stretching, shifting was nothing compared to the pain in his heart. Human again at last, he knelt next to Simon, running a hand over the man's sweat-dampened face, realizing his own was damp as well, but with tears. "Oh, God ... Simon. Tell me what to do." "Sword ... out. Please." With trembling hands, Jade leaned over him, grabbed the thick hilt of the heavy, foreign blade and, with a quick prayer, pulled it free. Simon grimaced and cried out, and Jade's heart filled his throat at the sound. He threw the hateful sword to the side. Sinking into a sitting position, he gently lifted Simon's head, cradling it in his lap, and brushed the sticky, dark gold strands off his face, not even knowing where to start trying to staunch the flow of blood—it seemed to come from everywhere. "This isn't good." "I'll ... heal," Simon said, his whisper too quiet. "I always do." "Yeah, I know you have your special secret healing power, but damn it, Simon, this is bad. This is..." His voice caught and he shook his head. "I'll heal," Simon said again, reaching up to give Jade's hand a weak squeeze. It was probably meant to be reassuring, but it only scared Jade more. 64


"What if you don't? Damn it, you cut it too close this time. Do you even know your own limitations? You think you're so invincible, but you can still die, Simon. What if one day one of them slices directly through your heart? Or cuts off your head? What then? You can't possibly tell me there's any way you can come back from either of those." "I just try not to let them get my heart or my head," he murmured, his eyes fluttering open, and another hint of a smile tugging at his lips. But his expression quickly sobered, and his eyes, though hazy, darkened to a deep blue. "Thank you," he whispered. "For saving my head tonight." Another hot wave of moisture welled in Jade's eyes. "You're welcome." But then Jade's nostrils flared as he picked up a pungent odor. A sense of urgency shot through him. "Oh, crap ... a rift's about to open." "They came through a rift earlier," Simon said, shifting and trying to sit up. "But how do you know?" "I smell it. Ozone. We probably just have a few seconds. We have to get out of sight." His gaze flitted around the open room, looking for someplace, anyplace, they could hide. They didn't have time to run, even if Simon could. He spied several stacks of large crates and barrels against one of the exterior walls. "Can you get over there?" he asked Simon, pointing. "Yeah." "Go then." "What about you?" 65


"I'm going cover your tracks and try to hide the scent of your blood because they'll smell it." Simon didn't question further. Jade half-dragged him to his feet, picked up his sword, and sheathed it for him. As Simon staggered toward the wall and the hiding place, Jade grabbed the shoulders of one of the demons he'd mauled and, with every muscle in his body straining, he pulled it behind Simon, using its blood to cover the trail Simon was leaving. As Simon ducked behind the crates, Jade ran back and yanked another demon in the same general direction. It was going to be obvious, if someone looked closely, that the demons had been dragged from where they fell, but Jade hoped it would buy them some time. When the ozone smell grew thicker, burning his eyes and lungs, Jade knew the rift opening was imminent. He sprinted, and dove behind the crates just as a dark rent tore through the fabric of the air near the opposite wall from where they hid. As Jade slid into the narrow space between the musty barrels and packing material and the wall, his chest tightened at Simon's condition. Jade was certain Simon had used the last dregs of his superhuman strength to get back here. The man looked terrible, his face gaunt and pale, his breathing labored. He'd slumped to the floor again and lay on his side. Jade crawled in to lay beside him and pulled Simon back against his chest with his arms wrapped gently around him. From where they lay, they had a view of the room between two big crates and could just make out the opening into Vertigo. 66


Within seconds two K'arpath demons emerged, followed by a large figure completely cloaked in gray. The moment the gray-clad being stepped through the rift, the energy in the room began to shift and vibrate, and Jade felt a surge of nausea churn in his stomach and slide up his throat. "What the hell's that?" Simon asked in a choked whisper. "I have no idea." Jade's skin tingled and it felt as if the hair on his arms and legs stood on end. His stomach continued to roil, and he grimaced, fighting back the urge to be sick. Whatever the being was, it radiated a power like nothing Jade had ever seen or experienced. But what disturbed him most was how it smelled. Cold. Empty. Dead. Another shudder wracked through Jade. The creature strode to the center of the room. For the first time, Jade noticed a large circle and several symbols had been painted onto the floor. What the...? Had Simon been doing some kind of occult ritual when the K'arpaths found him? But then, with a ripple of dread, understanding came. The gray-shrouded, wraithlike being gazed down at the circle, then around at the slain demons. "Well, well, well. So he's as fierce as the stories say then," the wraith said in a low, breathy tone of pure ice that grated along Jade's nerve endings. The K'arpaths accompanying him grunted in response, appearing immune to the carnage around them of their own kind.

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It took a moment for it to sink it, but Jade suddenly realized the wraith wasn't speaking a demon language. It spoke English. "But what's this?" The wraith nudged one of the dead demons with what had to be a foot, except Jade couldn't see a foot, only a swirl of gray mist. "He wasn't alone. Some of these soldiers were mauled by an animal." He paused and Jade got the sense he was sniffing the air. "Yes ... but not just any animal. One who should be one of ours, but is clearly sympathetic to the human side." A soft huff of breath escaped Jade. Simon's hand closed over his and squeezed, once again offering reassurance. But instead of reassuring him, it brought Jade back to the urgency of their situation. Simon's strength was nearly gone, his hand was cold as ice, and his body trembled against Jade's. Simon was horribly vulnerable right now. Jade had to get him somewhere safe where he could watch over him and protect him until Simon could heal. "We have to get out of here," he hissed. "Wall ... behind us," Simon murmured. "No, you don't have the strength. It'll drain you completely and I won't risk hurting you more." "No ... choice," he breathed. "Hold onto me. Don't let go. Have to ... concentrate." His heart pounding, Jade tightened his hold around Simon, but shook his head in protest. "Simon..." he pleaded. But when the gray wraith lifted his head and seemed to sniff the air again, Jade knew Simon was right. There weren't 68


any other options he could think of and they had to be gone before that thing found them. "Roll with me," Simon whispered. "Don't let go. One ... two..." On three, they rolled together toward the wall, and then with an uncomfortable, tingling pull on Jade's skin and internal organs, they were through it. Simon's waning strength had made the process more difficult than the two times before Simon had phased with him. But as the scents of damp summer grass, river, and even decay filled his nostrils, easing the effects of whatever sickly energy the wraith had created inside, Jade was just grateful to be out of there. Simon had gone nearly limp in his arms. "Simon!" "Jade ... go. I don't think I..." "Just hold on. I'll get you out of here. Hold on." [Back to Table of Contents]

69


CHAPTER 6 Odd, disjointed sensations fluttered through Simon's painclouded mind. He struggled to place them, to make sense of them in a world that had become misty and elusive, where he couldn't seem to get a firm grip on reality. He thought he remembered his fingers burrowing into thick, coarse fur, the feel of it tickling pleasantly against his cheek, and the heat of a powerful animal body moving beneath his. But how could that be? It had to be a dream. Then, sometime later the dream shifted, and the fur and the animal became strong, gentle hands removing his clothes and holding him up as something hot and damp and soothing poured over his sore flesh. Those same hands cautiously probed at places on his body that burned like fire and ached with pain, yet they didn't seek to hurt him, only offer relief. Next he remembered his body being swallowed in downy softness. Warm lips brushed over his. Words of comfort and a tender love that brought tears to his eyes were whispered in his ear. And then he remembered sleep ... glorious sleep, pulling him into its peaceful embrace. Much, much later, the first thoughts that came to Simon's mind as he crept slowly back to wakefulness were a confusing mixture of memories about fur, gentle hands, and arousing kisses that made him want to keep his eyes closed and try to recapture the dream that had left him so oddly relaxed, yet so turned-on all at the same time. 70


But eventually his eyes fluttered open, and the sight that greeted him—Jade sitting cross-legged next to him on his bed, looking warm and sexy—sent a spiral of heat through him, coiling around his heart and dropping lower to stir up a ball of magma low in his belly. "You're wearing clothes," Simon said, his voice a little raspy from not using it for a while. Jade's sensual lips curved into a smile. "Hard to believe, I know, since I've either been showing fur or skin around you of late, but I do actually wear them, yeah. Although these are yours. I hope you don't mind. Just until I can pick up my own." "I don't mind. They look good on you." And they did. The faded jeans hugged his lean thighs, and the gray T-shirt clung to his arms and chest and almost matched the color of his eyes. A lock of unruly dark hair fell over one of Jade's eyes, and when Jade reached up to push it back, the afternoon sunlight shining through the windows glinted off its rich color, giving it a faint silver sheen. Simon gazed at it in wonder, realizing it was the same color as his fur when he was in wolf form. Then an angry, red slash on Jade's bicep caught Simon's attention and reminded him of what had happened and just what Jaden had done for him. Simon brushed his fingers around the cut and winced. "How badly did they hurt you? Are you okay?" "I'm fine. I don't heal like you do"—Jade flashed another quick smile—"but none of my injuries were life-threatening. Just some cuts and bruises." He brushed his knuckles over 71


Simon's cheek and his eyes flickered with concern. "The bigger question is how're you feeling?" Simon stretched under the covers, realizing he wore nothing but the thin sheets, and had a quick flash of hazy memory of being undressed and then held close to another hard, nude body and washed ... in the shower? It had to have been. The sensation of hot water sluicing over his skin, the sleek, gentle slide of hands made sense now. Jade. A flush of head spread through him, knowing Jade had seen and touched him so intimately. He drew in a slow, measured breath and tried to will away the burgeoning erection that grew at his groin. He focused on testing his muscles, running his palms over his abdomen where only a faint twinge of pain remained in the spot he'd been sliced open. His back ached a bit at the location the sword had impaled him, but generally speaking, for a man who'd been seriously injured he felt okay. "I think I'm all right. How long did I sleep?" "Almost thirty-six hours." Jade's voice and expression radiated the fact he'd been worried. Thirty-six hours? Good God. It had never taken him that long to heal before. Usually twelve put him back in commission and by twenty-four it was like nothing had ever happened to him. You've never been as severely wounded before as you were this last time. No he hadn't. Jade probably hadn't been too far from the truth when he'd said Simon had cut it too close this time. It had taken every last particle of his strength to phase them 72


through the wall at the meatpacking plant. Which brought his mind directly to what had happened there. "Any idea what that thing was we saw?" Jade shook his head, his eyes darkening with anxiety. "I've never seen anything like it. It made me sick—I mean physically sick from the power it radiated. It was evil, Simon. To the core evil. It smelled like death." Simon grimaced as he remembered the creature, and he agreed with Jade's assessment. It had been cold and eerie. Not quite ghost, yet not quite ... well, solid. He had no idea if were a demon or had maybe even been human at some point. "What gets me, is how did it know I was there?" Simon mused aloud. "I'd tracked four of the K'arpaths to that empty building, and was watching them, trying to figure out why they were working together, which was unusual enough, but also setting up some kind of ritual. The next thing I knew, they started the ritual and this plume of smoke rose in the air looking like an arrow. It came straight at me where I was hiding up on the catwalk. From there, a rift opened and more K'arpaths poured out." "It was a locator spell. I saw the circle and the symbols and suspected as much, but the way you describe it, I'm certain of it now." "A locator spell?" "The K'arpaths were looking for you—we know that for sure because the gray wraith said as much. He was expecting to find you there. He's probably the one who commissioned the K'arpaths to do the ritual. And that swirl of smoke you 73


saw? It would have found you no matter where in the city you were. In some bizarre twist of fate, you just happened to be right there when they did it. You probably shocked them." "But how could they do that? Find me specifically?" "They would have had to use something of yours, something with your essence attached to it. A hair, a drop of blood, a piece of clothing you'd worn." "That's not a pleasant thought." "No, it's not. And if they did it once, they can do it again. Especially with the way you were bleeding. That's why while you were sleeping I put some protective measures in place around your apartment. Some herbs and glyphs that will keep this place invisible to the magic. And when you're up for it, there's something we can do to keep you invisible as well, no matter where in the city you are." Simon's pulse thrummed. "Do I want to know why you have so much knowledge about this dark magic stuff?" Jade grimaced, and stared out the window as if lost in some other place for a moment. "It's ... a long story." He looked at Simon, his gaze pleading with him not to ask him for more right now. Simon studied him, worry and sympathy welling inside him for the man. Where exactly had Jade been and what had he been doing during the years they were apart? He set a hand on top of Jade's and squeezed. "It's okay. Whatever the reason, I'm grateful for the protection. Thank you." Jade nodded, looking relieved. "You're welcome." "That thing ... the gray wraith, as you called it. It knows about you now, too. You won't be safe either." 74


"I know. I have a plan to take care of that also." It was on the tip of Simon's tongue to suggest Jade stay here with him. But then he realized how that would probably sound to Jade. Nine years ago Simon had let him stay with him, then he'd reneged and forced him to leave. My God, you didn't just renege, you drugged him and sent him away against his will. No way would Jade ever trust him like that again. And Simon couldn't blame him. He knew Jade had loved him once. But Simon had betrayed him, and even though Jade had come back, was here with him right now, it didn't mean he still loved him. A hazy memory began to tease at the edges of Simon's mind. Something he couldn't quite grasp, but that suddenly seemed important. Something from night before last, after they'd left the packing plant, when his memories and impressions had become so disjointed. A memory of tenderly spoken words. And then it shifted into place in full detail and he remembered it all. He stared at Jade, his heart squeezing. "Did you mean what you said?" Jade gazed at him, his dark brows drawn together. "About what?" But then the lines around his eyes slid away and he gave Simon another soft smile. "Ah. You mean here, after I'd gotten you home?" Simon nodded. "Every word." Stunned, Simon couldn't help but gape at him. "But ... how? Why? After everything I put you through? I sent you 75


away when you needed me, I didn't try to see you at all, and then after I went to the abbey, I looked at the surface evidence and assumed you were dead. And that's not even mentioning the shitty way I treated you last week." "You always were a stubborn fool." Jade leaned down and kissed him, at first just a brush of lips, but then moving more boldly, dipping into Simon's mouth with his tongue and tasting him fully. And Simon let him, wanted it. Jade ended the kiss too soon, but relief filled Simon that the man didn't move away. He still sat so close one of this thighs rubbed Simon's hip, and his fingertips slid up and down Simon's arm. "I never meant to hurt you, Jade. I thought I was doing the right thing." "I know. That's why I could forgive you so easily." "You shouldn't have forgiven me." "That's what love is, Simon. It's forgiving. And never giving up." Simon could barely swallow around the lump in his throat. "But I gave up on you." Jade's fingers traced over the well-worn silver Celtic cross resting on Simon's chest. "No you didn't. You're still wearing this." "I've never taken it off," Simon admitted. "It hasn't been off me since the day you put it around my neck. So I wouldn't ever forget." Jade's eyes glinted with moisture. "And you wonder why I love you?" He kissed Simon again, his soft stubble brushing 76


Simon's face, then lifted his head just a bit, his gaze questioning. "Is this okay?" "It's better than okay." "Is that an invitation?" "God, yes." Jade leaned down over him and kissed him again, this time holding nothing back. He cradled Simon's face between his hands, melded his mouth to Simon's, and made it clear that this time he wouldn't be put off or stopped. He kissed Simon like a man hungry for something he'd been too long denied. He tasted sweet and spicy, but with a hint of dark passion underlying it that kindled something deep in Simon's soul. When Jade pulled the covers off him, this time, unlike so many years before, Simon lodged no protests. Jade wasn't a fragile innocent any longer who needed to be protected. He was a sexy, determined man who'd fought at Simon's side, saved his life, and probably his soul. Simon owed him everything. And wanted him like he'd never wanted anyone. Kneeling between Simon's legs, Jade stripped off the Tshirt he wore. Simon sat up and unfastened his jeans, getting a jolt of raw pleasure when he discovered Jade wore nothing beneath them. "I'll never be able to wear these jeans again without remembering them on you like this," he rasped. "Good. I think I'll make a point of wearing all your jeans the same way, so no matter what you have on, you won't be able to get me out of your mind." "I already can't get you out of my mind." 77


Simon spread his hands over Jade's smooth, sculpted chest, tracing the contours with his thumbs and fingers, learning every feature, then following with his mouth. He licked over, then bit down on one of Jade's firm, flat coppercolored nipples, drawing a hiss from the man. "God that feels good." Jade's fingers dug into Simon's hair and scalp, holding him close as Simon continued, swirling his tongue around and around the nub, biting it again, and when Jade moaned softly, biting harder. Jade bucked against him in appreciation, making it clear he had no qualms about rougher play. Excitement shot through Simon. And surprise. He'd had no idea it could turn him on so much either. He shifted his attention to the other nipple now, biting it, then soothing with his tongue, biting, soothing until it was red and swollen and Jade groaned liberally. "Shit, that makes me crazy." It was making Simon crazy, too, especially the way Jade was reacting. "You make me crazy." He wrapped an arm around Jade's waist and pulled him down onto the bed, rolling with him until Jade was flat on his back amidst the sheets and Simon straddled him. He scooted backward, grasped the waistband of Jade's jeans and pulled. They slid down over his lean hips, freeing his long, stiff cock. It bobbed up between them, deep red, pulsing and already dripping pre-cum at the head. The temptation was too much to pass up. Simon licked over the bulbous crown, gathering the droplets of salty cream on his tongue. Jade shivered and thrust his hips up toward 78


Simon's mouth, silently asking for more. But as damned good as Jade tasted, as hard as Simon's own cock was getting from watching and hearing Jade's passion build, he wanted more this time than a quick encounter with clothes still interfering. He sat up and finished working Jade's jeans down his long legs. When he'd tossed them aside to the floor, he sat back on his heels and savored the sight spread out before him. Jesus, the man was beautiful. There was no other way to describe him, with his unruly dark hair falling over his eyes and curling in soft waves around his ears and against his neck, a lean sinewy body that was so sexy it made Simon's heart beat faster just looking at him, and his eager cock jutting up from the dark curls at his groin. But what capped off the whole package was the sultry gleam in those big, luminescent silver-gray eyes. "You have a look on your face," Jade said. "What look?" "The look." "The look that says I'm going to devour you and we're both damn well going to enjoy it?" Jade grinned, flashing white teeth. "That's the one. And I like it. A lot. I will tell you, though ... you don't look very saint-like at the moment, with lust shining in your eyes and your dick hard enough to drill through granite." "I told you," Simon growled, swooping down until his lips hovered just above Jade's. "I'm no saint." "Right now, that's what I'm counting on," Jade breathed a split second before Simon's mouth came down on his. 79


Simon lowered himself until his body draped over Jade's and their cocks rode together in a blissful crush between their groins and abdomens. "You feel so damned good," Simon said, burying his face in Jade's neck, loving how their bodies molded so perfectly, his slightly larger, more muscular frame covering Jade's sleeker, more sensual one. All those years wasted when they could have been together like this. It made his heart ache. "So do you." Jade's hands snaked around to his back and kneaded the muscles, then slipped lower to his ass where they squeezed and released. Simon moved lower and pressed his face into the younger man's groin, nuzzling into the warm, springy dark curls, licking over his sac, then up his shaft, and ending with a swirl of tongue around the ridge of the crown. He raised up slightly and blew across the damp tip, then curled his fingers around the base of Jade's dick and squeezed, holding him off. Jade's fingertips dug into his shoulder, and his hips rocked back and forth, trying to bring his cock back to Simon's mouth. "Ah ... God. Please don't tease me. I don't think I can take it. I've wanted this, wanted you for too long." "Tell me what you want, Jade." "I want you to suck me. Please." "You want my mouth on your cock?" "Yes. On it, over it, swallowing it." His deep, hoarse voice made Simon shudder with desire. "And then what do you want me to do after that?" he asked. 80


Jade groaned and his body quivered. "I want ... after that I want ... oh, God." "Say it, baby," Simon encouraged. "I'll do anything you need to make you feel good. I promise. But you have to say the words. Don't hold back. Tell me what you've been craving." "I want ... I want to feel your tongue on me, in me." Jade's voice shook. "What else?" "Then I want you to fuck me. So I can see your face while you're in me, so I can see your eyes when you come. I've thought about your eyes, how blue they get when you climax, so many times. Dreamed about having you fill me deep, so deep I can feel you in my soul, then losing it inside me until I'm dripping with your come." A shudder rocked through Jade's body. Through Simon's also. "Damn it, Simon. Please! Touch me now." His desperation turned Simon on more than anything else, making him want to give Jade anything and everything he'd ever wanted. He retraced the path he'd taken before with his tongue, but lingering longer this time. Not only painting every exposed inch of the hot tight wrinkled skin of Jade's sac with dampness, but sucking his balls into his mouth as well. "Oh, my God," Jade gasped, rolling his hips in response. Simon glanced up at him and found his head tipped back on the pillow, his lips parted, and his eyes closed. His hands 81


bunched wads of sheets on either side of him, his fingers clenching and releasing. Simon sucked, and hummed softly, until Jade trembled and writhed on the tangled sheets, and his moans had become sobs of pleasure. When Simon let his balls pop free, Jade cried out in protest and his groin thrust upward, seeking Simon's mouth again. Simon didn't make him suffer long. He shifted his focus to the long, sleek pole twitching above Jade's heavy scrotum. He tested just the tip of his tongue against the sensitive ridge under the corona, then circled it over and over until a new set of moans flooded from Jade. Jade tasted so damned good ... hot, eager, and all male. And Simon wanted him wedged all the way into his throat, as deep as he could get him. Wanted to feel that beautiful length swell larger and larger, and then burst, feeding him its cream. He opened his mouth and pulled in just Jade's cockhead, switching between sucking it gently, then drawing on it hard. Jade's hips jerked rhythmically and he mumbled Simon's name over and over. But when Simon purposely let his teeth scrape along his ridge, Jade's hips lifted off the bed. "Oh, God! Jesus, Simon! Again..." Shocked once more at Jade's unexpected liking for roughness, Simon was happy to comply, lightly scraping over Jade's bulbous head, then closing his lips around it and gently biting down. Again, Jade went crazy. It seemed Jade had a thing for teeth—first his nipples and now this. Simon decided he'd have to explore that theory further at a later date. 82


Oh, yeah. A shiver of desire rocked through him at the possibilities. Right now, though, he couldn't wait any longer. He wanted Jade's slick length sliding down his throat. He guided Jade's cock deeper into this mouth, moving up and down on it a few times, getting it wet and slippery. Then, opening wider and relaxing his throat, he took it all to the root. Jade's response was instant and powerful. "Shit! Oh shit oh shit!" His entire body vibrated, his cock surged into the air, and his hands came up to clutch at Simon's shoulders. Simon bobbed his head up and down, alternating between slow, deep movements, and short pumping ones. Still wanting more, he pushed Jade's knees up and lowered his mouth to the tight, puckered opening below Jade's testicles. The first touch of his tongue sent mini-spasms through Jade. As he circled Jade's quivering hole with his tongue, around and around, then into it, Simon reached up and captured the man's wet, pulsing shaft, stroking and caressing it. Jade shook and was both thrusting his cock into Simon's hand, and trying to impale himself ever deeper on his tongue. "Simon ... oh, God, I need you so much. Need you ... please ... I want you in me." The words were more sobbed than spoken, and touched Simon to his core. He rose to his knees between Jade's legs and, as he reached for the bottle of lube he kept beside the bed, he 83


gazed down at this man he'd give everything for ... and fell in love with him all over again. "Please ... need you so much." "I know, love. Anything you want." Simon quickly lubed his own hard, aching member. He spread more slick gel over Jade's opening, then into it with one finger, then two. "Oh, God ... Simon. Now!" Simon lifted Jade's legs to his shoulders, then guided his cock to Jade's ass, pressing the tip against the quivering ring. "Don't go slow." Jade's eyes churned with open need. Simon didn't think he'd be able to even if he'd wanted. With a groan rumbling from his throat, he thrust hard and deep, filling Jade in one stroke. Jade gasped. His body trembled. The tight walls of his passage squeezed Simon so hard it stole Simon's breath and made him dizzy. Simon slid out, then pushed back in ... deeper. "I want you in me always," Jade moaned. "Fill me. Fuck me. Don't ever stop." "My Jade..." How could he ever live without this man again? The younger man's eyes fluttered open. "Jesus, Simon, I need you. I love you. I just want to be close to you." "I want the same," Simon said, his voice hoarse with emotion as the last of his walls crumbled. "I love you, Jaden." Jade's eyes widened, his lips parted, and a soft huff of surprise escaped them. "You do?" "Yes." Simon pulled out, then plunged back into Jade's warm, willing body, so deep this time they both moaned. 84


"I've always loved you. I was scared to tell you back then. I know things have changed. But not the way I feel about you." "Even knowing what I am?" Jade asked. "The moment I knew it was you, knew you were alive, nothing else mattered." Simon shook his head, overcome with emotion. "I'm so sorry I was so awful to you last week. I was an ass. I don't want to lose you again. Those terrible long years ... I was miserable without you." "Oh, Simon..." Jade's voice caught. He pulled Simon down into a kiss that told him without words he'd once again been forgiven. They surged together, hot flesh to hot flesh, murmuring soft cries and clinging together like lost souls found at last. Simon recaptured Jade's cock and stroked in long, steady pulls until Jade gasped and quivered on every one, and then with a hard spasm that Simon felt deep inside Jade's body, he spilled his offering over Simon's hand and all over his own stomach and groin. Simon's climax pounded through him at the same time. He thrust one final time and, with a shuddering surge, filled Jade with his seed. Still breathing hard, their gazes locked. Then Simon dropped his mouth to Jade's in an emotional kiss that left them both shaking. [Back to Table of Contents]

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CHAPTER 7 "Hey." Simon felt Jade sit up in the bed behind him. His warm hand stroked along Simon's bare back. "Can't sleep?" Simon shook his head, still gazing out the window into the night. The dim lights of the city were blinking stars in the darkness. "That's what thirty-six hours of sleep earlier will do for you." He heard the smile in Jade's voice, and in spite of the tangled knots writhing in his gut, it was contagious and he found himself cracking a weak smile also. "Yeah, I guess so." But the moment of levity didn't last long. "Jade..." Jade slid closer and, wrapping his arms around Simon, turned him to face him. His face, in the moonlight, was all seriousness. "Don't even think about telling me this isn't going to work, Simon. Because I'm not going anywhere. I'm not letting you push me away anymore." Simon's breath hitched in his chest. He opened his mouth to speak, but Jade rested two fingers against it and stopped him. "Don't. If you think after today, after the way we made love, the way you looked at me, touched me, and the things you said to me I'm going to believe for even a second you've suddenly come to your senses and think it's best if we stay apart, then you're out of your ever-loving mind and I might have to smack you upside the head." His expression was still serious, but a twinkle flickered in his eyes. 86


Simon huffed out a soft breath that was half sigh, half laugh. "Smack me upside the head?" Jade shrugged, a smile teasing the corners of his mouth. "In the nicest, most loving way possible, of course." "Of course. And for the record, I meant what I said. I do love you. And I don't want to be apart from you." "Good. Because you're stuck with me now." Simon sighed. "The thing is ... you don't know, not really, what you're getting yourself into if you stay with me, Jade." "You, I hope." Jade's mischievous smile went straight to Simon's heart ... and his groin. Simon groaned, instantly aroused at the thought of having Jade inside him at some point. But this was too important. He couldn't blow it off. "I'm serious. There are things about me you don't know." "That's why you're up, isn't it?" Jade skimmed a hand over Simon's hair. "You hold so much inside you. You're always so alone, and it breaks my heart." Tears burned in Simon's eyes. It was the same thing Jade had told him nine years ago. So much had changed, and yet so little. "Tell me, Simon. Trust me. Please. Haven't you figured out by now I'd never hurt you?" "I know. It's not you hurting me I worry about." "Then what?" Simon dragged in a deep breath and rubbed his eyes. "I..." He winced, having trouble finding the words.

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Jade's warm hands wrapped around his. "Just say it. Whatever it is, get it off your chest. Nothing you tell me is going to change how I feel about you." "It should," Simon mumbled. "Why don't you let me be the judge of that?" Simon sighed. "When we first met, I was so lost, Jade ... I mean emotionally lost." "I know. I may have been young, but I wasn't naïve." Jade's quiet voice made Simon's chest ache. "What I never told you," Simon continued, "what I've never told anybody until now, is that about ten months before I met you, I woke up one day and ... and everything that had happened before that exact moment in time was gone." "Gone?" "Gone. I had, still have no memory at all of what came before—no childhood, no family, no idea what my life was like before that day." "My God," Jade whispered. "What a terrifying feeling that must be." You have no idea. Swallowing hard against the old pain, Simon rose from the bed, paced over to the closest of the big windows, the same one he'd been looking through from the bed, and gazed blindly out at the night. "But that's not all. I woke up on the floor of what looked like a meeting hall. I couldn't get my bearings, couldn't remember where I was or how I'd gotten onto the floor. I didn't seem to be injured, but for several long minutes I also couldn't move. The longer I lay there, the more scared I got 88


because even though, for some bizarre reason, I knew my name plain as day, I couldn't pull up any personal facts about myself—not how old I was, where I was born, where I lived. I kept thinking I must be having a bad dream and if I lay there long enough, I'd wake up. Except it felt like I was awake. So then I was afraid I'd been in some kind of accident and I was really lying on a table in a hospital somewhere, doped up on drugs. Except, again, I didn't feel drugged, and all my senses seemed to be intact. Then I suddenly realized I was holding something. I concentrated, trying to figure out what it was, and finally realized it was the hilt of a sword." "Your sword ... the one you still carry?" Jade said softly from behind him. Simon nodded. "My body seemed to be working again, so I lifted the sword and looked at it, but didn't recognize it. I couldn't imagine what I would have been doing with a sword. It was like the mystery just kept deepening. But then, I stood up and that's when I saw it..." Terrible images flashed through his mind in a fast-moving, Technicolor horror movie. Simon turned away from the window and, his back to the wall, slowly sank to the floor. He drew up his knees, and buried his face in his hands. "Oh, God, Jade." Jade was instantly there in front of him, his hands on Simon's knees, offering strength and comfort. "It's okay. I'm right here, babe. What did you see?" "Blood ... So much blood. It was everywhere ... the floor, the walls, all over me." "Jesus." 89


"But that's not all. There were people. Dead people all around me. Lying on the floor, sitting in chairs. All of them cut to ribbons." "Oh ... shit. And you think you killed them?" "It seems pretty obvious, doesn't it?" "No." Jade reached for his hands and wrapped his fingers through them, offering him an anchor. "No, it doesn't seem obvious. I can see why you might assume that, but surely you've considered the flip side. How do you know you might not have been trying to save them? Simon, you have the ability to heal from almost anything. Maybe you were sliced up just like they were, but while you were unconscious you healed." "I can't tell you how many times I've wished that could be true. But it doesn't explain the sword. That sword isn't normal, Jade. It can cut through anything, even things it shouldn't be able to. I think ... I think it wasn't made in this world. I think it was made in Vertigo. I think my 'abilities' might come from there, too." He sighed. "And there's something else. You know how sick humans get when they go to Vertigo? Well, I never told you this because it pretty much confirmed all my fears, but when I wandered into Vertigo, found you and killed the two demons? I never got sick. Never noticed any odd phenomenon while I was there. It felt just as normal to me as this world does." "What are you saying?" "You know how you called me a hypocrite? Well, you're right. I go out every night and hunt demons. I do it out of guilt, knowing I can't truly make amends, but needing to let 90


myself think there's a chance to make up for some tiny portion of the horrible things I've done. But the truth is ... I think I might be a demon. You said it yourself that night in the alley when I had you strung up in chains ... where else could these powers of mine have come from?" "I said that because I was being an ass and I was angry at you, Simon. I shouldn't have said it." Simon pushed a lock of hair back from over one of Jade's eyes. "You didn't say anything I hadn't already thought of. The truth is, for months after I woke up, the guilt of what I'd seen and believing I'd done weighed on me so hard I thought I'd go crazy. I was afraid to leave my room, afraid to be around people for fear I'd hurt them. It's why I sent you away, Jade. Because after that night we spent together, I knew I'd started to care too much, and the thought that I might lose my mind some night and murder you terrified me. I thought it was better to send you away and keep you safe ... from me. But then after I'd lost you and thought you'd died, the guilt was worse than ever because in addition to all those helpless people, I felt like I'd also sent you to your death. That's when I started hunting. It was the only way I thought I might be able to hang onto my sanity." "Oh, my God, Simon, I had no idea that's why you put me at the abbey." "I know. And that's the way I wanted it. I didn't want you to know this side of me. But now ... you're alive, and your back, and I love you so damned much I can't think straight. I want so much to have you in my life, but I can't keep all this a secret from you anymore. You deserve to know the truth so 91


you can decide if you really want to be with me ... a killer and maybe worse." Jade slid close to him and wrapped his legs around Simon's hips and his arms around Simon's waist. His clean scent laced with heady male musk swirled through Simon's senses, offering as much comfort as Jade's arms and body did. "Do you even have to ask that?" Jade said, holding his gaze. "I've always trusted you. I still do. With my life. When I came back to the city, I'd heard you were hunting. Your reputation is pretty notorious amongst the demons, and yet I came looking for you anyway, knowing there was a chance you might kill me because of what I'd become. But in my heart, I didn't believe you would. Do you know why?" Simon shook his head. "Because I know you in here." He placed a palm over Simon's heart. "You're a good man." "You took a terrible risk letting me capture you. I could so easily have killed you without giving you a chance to show me who you really were." "But you didn't." "That's not very comforting. I've had nightmares for a week about what could have happened." "I rest my case." Simon shook his head, not following him. "Do you honestly think a demon would have nightmares because he felt guilty about what he might have done? Let's say you are a product of Vertigo. Look at what you've done with your life here, Simon. You use your abilities and your sword to help humans, not kill them. I don't know what 92


happened in that meeting hall where you woke up, but I don't believe for a minute you'd ever kill any human, certainly not a whole room full of them." "But the fear's always there anyway." "And maybe that's not such a bad thing. Maybe, if you are truly from Vertigo, that fear is what keeps the demon on a tight leash and your humanity intact. The trick is learning to control the fear and let it work for you, not let it control you and take over your life." Jade spoke with a low, knowing voice and for the first time, Simon realized he and Jade weren't maybe as different as he'd always thought. "Is that what you do?" he asked softly. "Yeah. Sometimes it's easy, and sometimes not so much. Two nights ago when I saw what was happening to you, how hurt and outnumbered you were, the beast in me reared up and took control out of pure, protective instinct. And I let it because I was so scared for you that I was willing to do whatever it took to help you. But there was a moment when I felt real fear that I wouldn't be able to rein it back in and then I'd be lost." "But you did." Jade nodded. "Because of you." Simon leaned in and rested his forehead against Jade's. "I think you're good for me. I think you probably always have been, but I was too blind to see it." "I think I am, too. And you're good for me. We belong together, Simon." 93


"You give me hope that maybe somehow, some way, there's some kind of method to this madness we live in. Or at least that maybe it's possible to have a measure of life amongst it." Jade brushed a kiss against his lips and looked into his eyes. "Does that mean you're not going to argue with me about me moving in with you?" A hint of a teasing smiled curved his lips. A lump of emotion clogged Simon's throat. He didn't deserve this man. "No, I'm not going to argue." "Yeah, I'll believe that when I see it." Jade's half-smile had become a full-fledged grin. But then he sobered. "I just ask one thing of you, Simon. One promise I want you to make to me." "What's that?" "No more going out hunting alone." Simon started to protest, ready to rattle off the dozen reasons that immediately came to mind why he couldn't agree to that, but Jade cut him off before he could say a word. "That thing, that wraith thing is out there, and it's looking for you. It's powerful. More powerful than anything I've seen, and I'm not going to lie to you, that scares the hell out of me. It's going to employ every demon, every bit of magic, and every possible source to find you. If it succeeds, make no mistake ... it will kill you." Jade shook his head. "It makes me sick to even think about losing you. But this is bigger than that even." "In what way?" 94


"Something in my gut tells me you're here for a reason, Simon. I think you might be the one force holding the powers of Vertigo at bay. And if you fall ... we all fall." Simon sucked in a shaking breath. "No pressure or anything," he said dryly. Jade gave him an apologetic look. "I know. I'm sorry. But I think it's true." "Not completely true." Jade raised a questioning eyebrow. Simon thought he truly could get lost in those eyes. "I'm not the only one holding them at bay anymore." Jade's slow, sexy smile curled around Simon's heart, filling him, for the first time in his life, with a true sense of belonging. There was no way to forget a world of demons lurked at the borders of the human dimension. But it was these little moments of peace, filled with Jade's smile, his steadfast support, and his love, that made it all worth fighting for. [Back to Table of Contents]

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M. L. Rhodes Award-winning and bestselling author M. L. Rhodes has been writing for a living for nearly thirteen years. Along with the erotic romance fiction she currently writes for Amber Quill Press, she's also published everything from poetry, to magazine articles, to traditional romance, to steamy romantic suspense novels. In her fiction works, her characterization and emotional storytelling have received high critical acclaim from such places as Romantic Times Magazine, The Romance Studio, and JERR and have garnered her numerous awards in the writing industry. In her gay romances, she enjoys pairing together strong, independent heroes who are open to exploring both their sexuality and their emotions. Men fall in love with one another every day, and M. L. believes in celebrating that. If you'd like to keep up with what's going on in M. L.'s world and find out about her new and upcoming releases, surf on over to her web site at www.mlrhodeswriting.com. She also loves hearing from readers. You can reach her at [email protected]. **** Don't miss The Bounds Of Love, by J. M. Snyder, available at AmberAllure.com!

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Vic Braunson has a special kind of problem—his lover, Matt DiLorenzo, somehow imbues him with enhanced superpowers every time they have sex. It's something Vic has learned to live with in the years they've been together, and something he won't let stand in the way of their relationship. Matt hates the powers, however, particularly when they put Vic in danger, but what can they do? When Vic stops an armed robbery at a local convenience store, his picture appears in the morning paper. Later that day, Matt receives a phone call at work from Jordan Dubrowski, a guy he knew in high school. Jordan was his first, in every way—it was through him that Matt discovered his ability to transfer superpowers to his lovers. Jordan had a taste of those powers, and after reading about Vic's role in the hold up, he's decided he wants those powers back. But Matt is in love ... and Vic won't let him go without a fight. Still, Jordan will stop at nothing to get what he thinks rightly belongs to him... **** Don't miss Vampyre Falls: Animal Heat, by Adrianna Dane, available at AmberHeat.com! Hot. Hard. Handsome. And dangerously ravenous—for Rainna Spaulding. 97


Rainna knows there's something different about Treynor Black and if she could just keep her hands off him for five seconds she might find out what it is. But five seconds in his company and she's overwhelmed by the most intensely lustful, searing heat she could imagine, and common sense is not on the menu. So what if he likes his meat rare and his rendezvous at midnight during a full moon? She could handle it. He had secrets, well so did she. And then she meets his brothers, Carson and Donovan. Talk about turning up the heat to scorching! Who were these brothers? Or maybe she should ask what were they? **** Don't miss Surrender's Edge, by Pepper Espinoza, available at AmberAllure.com! Geoffrey Kirk has been in love with his best friend, Nash, since almost the moment they met. Convinced that Nash would never return his feelings, he forced himself to move on, and fell for his assistant, Sunny. Despite his strong feelings, he never acted on them, and when he discovered Sunny and Nash together, he thought he lost his chance for happiness forever. Until Sunny and Nash make it clear that he hasn't lost anything ... and he still has a great deal to gain... **** 98


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Amber Quill's Rewards Program For every ten books bought, receive one free! Visit all three of Amber Quill's web sites for our very latest releases!! **** AMBER HEAT EROTICA Gimme Fever!! Steamy, sensual genre fiction... www.AmberHeat.com **** AMBER ALLURE Where love is blind to gender... www.Amber-Allure.com **** 100


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Vertigo

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Vertigo

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