Trucker and Pup

Trucker and Pup By Drew Hunt

Published by JMS Books LLC This book is available in print. Visit jms-books.com for more information.

Copyright 2011 Drew Hunt ISBN 978-1-61152-134-4

Cover Photo Credit: Mikhail Dudarev Used under a Standard Royalty-Free License. Cover Design: J.M. Snyder All Rights Reserved WARNING: This book is not transferable. It is for your own personal use. If it is sold, shared, or given away, it is an infringement of the copyright of this work and violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. No portion of this book may be transmitted or reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher, with the exception of brief excerpts used for the purposes of review. This book is for ADULT AUDIENCES ONLY. It contains substantial sexually explicit scenes and graphic language which may be considered offensive by some readers. Please store your files where they cannot be accessed by minors. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are solely the product of the author’s imagination and/or are used fictitiously, though reference may be made to actual historical events or existing locations. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Published in the United States of America. ****

Trucker and Pup By Drew Hunt Chapter 1 Joey Goldman laughed as he watched Kevin Lawrence, the office nerd, getting drenched as he stood on the kerb waiting to cross the road. Once he’d parked his lorry, however, Joey was beginning to regret his amusement at the guy’s expense. Better go and see if he’s all right, he thought jumping from his cab and running across the car park, head bent against the torrential rain. “Sorry, mate,” Joey said, once he’d reached the halfdrowned man. “I didn’t see you ’til it was too late.” This wasn’t exactly true. Joey could have driven around the puddle, but he knew the timid office worker wouldn’t make a fuss. “No, it was my fault for standing there.” “Okay, then.” Joey turned toward the office building. “Um.” “Yeah, mate?” Joey turned back to face a pensive-looking Kevin. “I’ve got a few minutes before my bus is due, um, I could, um, sort of…” Kevin ground to a halt, his cheeks had turned a bright shade of red, or at least what Joey could see of them. Kevin’s gaze seemed fixed on his shoes. “I’d appreciate a hand with the paperwork, if you don’t mind.” “No problem.” Joey ran for the main building, Kevin unsuccessfully trying to keep up. Joey couldn’t help mulling over their conversation. It was the most they’d ever said to each other in the couple of years that Kevin had worked for the haulage company. Once inside, Joey made a bee-line for the toilets. Heavy rain always seemed to stimulate his bladder. “Fuck!” he sighed as he let loose with his stream. A long piss was almost as good as getting off. He’d been stuck in his cab all day, the constant vibration of the diesel engine leaving

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him with a half-hard. “God, I could use a good shag tonight,” he said, tucking himself back in and buttoning up his Levi’s. Pulling out a comb from his back pocket, Joey moved to the wash hand basin and checked his reflection in the mirror. “I can’t be arsed going out to the bars in this lot.” He smiled when he remembered swaggering into The Black Bear the previous weekend. Once he’d pushed his way to the bar, he’d put his hand on the shoulder of a bloke sat on one of the high barstools. “Go and get your coat, mate. You’ve pulled.” Joey’s smile widened into a grin. He’d only meant his chat up line as a load of macho bullshit, but the poor bastard had almost come in his panties when he turned to face him. The night hadn’t lived up to its promising start, though. The guy had been a lousy fuck. Joey liked his bed partners to have a bit of fight in them. All the guy had done was lie back and presumably think of England. Exiting the toilets, Joey walked into the office where Kevin awaited him, paperwork set out neatly on the desk. All he had to do was fill in the final mileage and sign on the dotted line. “Thanks, mate. That was a big help,” Joey said, handing Kevin the forms. “That’s okay.” As usual Kevin couldn’t meet Joey’s eyes when he spoke to him. The pair made their way out of the office and down the corridor to the exit. Once outside, Joey looked up to see the lighted windows of a double-decker moving down the street. “Isn’t that your bus?” “Oh, no!” Kevin said, breaking into a run, but Joey could see he wasn’t going to make it. Joey watched as Kevin skidded in a patch of motor oil, his legs going from under him, as he none too gracefully hit the tarmac. Kevin’s spectacles flew from his nose and skated along the asphalt, stopping a couple of feet from the spread-eagled figure. Joey ran to help. “You okay?” “Think so,” Kevin said, wincing as he tried to stand. “Here, let me help you up.”

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Joey put his arms under Kevin’s shoulders and lifted him to his feet. To his surprise Kevin seemed to weigh almost nothing, little more than his eight-year-old nephew in fact. Joey could feel the small man trembling. Was he also crying? It was difficult to tell because of the rain. “Hey, mate, sor-right. Let me just pick up your specs, then we’ll sort you out.” Joey scooped the glasses from the ground and hooked them around Kevin’s’ ears. Tilting the smaller man’s head so the glow from one of the perimeter lights shone on his face, Joey looked directly into Kevin’s liquid brown eyes, blinking through the scratched lenses at him. Kevin’s eyes reminded Joey of Bertie, a Basset hound he used to own as a kid. Knowing the glasses were now useless, Joey pulled them from Kevin’s face, revealing a set of high cheekbones and a pair of long full eye lashes which blinked nervously. “Um, I think you need a new pair of specs.” Kevin grimaced, but on him it looked kind of cute. Cute? Joey asked himself. “Look, it was my fault your glasses got broke. I’ll buy you a new pair.” “No, it’s okay, you don’t need to.” “Rubbish. If you hadn’t come back in with me, you’d not have had to run for your bus.” As they stood side-by-side in the rain, Joey’s six feet three inch frame dwarfing that of Kevin’s five feet two inches, Joey couldn’t resist wrapping a protective arm around Kevin’s shoulder. It was the first time he’d ever had any prolonged physical contact with the slightly built man. “Can you walk on that ankle?” he said, staring down at the shorter man. Kevin tried to look away, but Joey held his gaze. “I think so.” Kevin took a step but would have fallen if Joey hadn’t caught him. “Well, that answers that question, then.” “Yes, Sir.” Sir? Did he say sir? Joey asked himself. “Um, I can take

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you home on the back of my bike, it’s the least I can do.” “Oh, no, honest, I can wait for the next bus, I’ll be all right.” “Give over arguing, it’s decided.” The smaller man sagged, seeming to resign himself to his fate. “Come on, lean on me.” Joey wrapped an arm around Kevin, helping to support his weight as he hobbled along. The rain was beginning to creep under Joey’s leather jacket, causing him to shiver. “Shit, this is too slow.” “Sorry, I can’t go any faster.” “Sor-right, I know you can’t.” Joey picked Kevin up. As he carried him towards his motorcycle Kevin began to squirm. “Stop wriggling!” Joey commanded. “Sorry.” Apart from the occasional shiver, Kevin managed to lie still. After gently placing his charge on the pillion seat, Joey got out the spare helmet and made sure it was correctly positioned on Kevin’s head before straddling the bike and kick starting the engine. As usual, the throaty roar and the vibration between his legs gave Joey a thrill. “Put your arms around me, and hold on!” Joey shouted, but Kevin didn’t respond. Obviously the guy didn’t hear him, or was too panicked to comply. Reaching behind himself, Joey grasped his passenger’s arms and wrapped them round his chest. Letting out the clutch, Joey sped out of the car park. As he travelled down the rain-swept streets, Joey realised he hadn’t asked where Kevin lived. Maybe this was a conscious oversight; he’d just have to take the man back to his place. Joey smiled, his dick twitching at the thought. The evening traffic was light, so it only took ten minutes to get home. Pulling up outside a set of garages, Joey hopped off his bike, unlocked the garage door, then got back on and drove the pair of them into the dark interior. Cutting the engine, Joey waited a few seconds for his ears to stop ringing before he took off his helmet. Leaning back in the saddle, Joey was certain his passenger was sporting wood. Hmm, interesting.

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“Okay, time to dismount.” “But, but, I don’t live here.” “I know, I thought I’d get you dried off and everything at my place first, okay?” “But, but…” “Don’t argue. Come on.” Joey gave a light whack to Kevin’s behind; Kevin shot upwards in shock, and started to shake. Christ, he’s a timid one. Better go careful. The two made slow progress towards the back entrance to the block of flats, Kevin needing to lean quite heavily on Joey, the latter finding it strangely appealing. “It’d be quicker if I carried you up the stairs.” Kevin stiffened. Turning Kevin round to face him, Joey stared down at the smaller man. “It’ll be okay. I don’t bite. Well, not often anyway.” Joey laughed, but Kevin didn’t join in. “What’s wrong?” Joey lifted the smaller man’s drooping chin with a finger. “Sorry, Sir,” the man said, still shaking. What’s with all this sir shit? Joey mused as he picked the bloke up. Though he had to admit Kevin’s deference did give him a bit of a thrill. He’d role played with a few of his more adventurous tricks, Joey always taking the role of the master of course. He wondered what would happen with a man who was naturally submissive. Finally reaching the third floor, Joey gently set Kevin down as he fished out his key. “Welcome to my humble abode,” Joey said, carrying his human cargo into the hallway. Joey was about to apologise for the mess which he knew would await them, he wasn’t much into housework, but the place shone like a new pin. Joey could even detect the faint odour of lavender furniture polish. He didn’t think he owned any furniture polish. After setting Kevin on a stool in the kitchen, Joey went to the fridge to confirm his suspicions. Not finding what he was after, he depressed the pedal on his waste bin and pulled out an unopened packet of bacon. “For fuck’s sake!” The harshness of his tone caused Kevin to start in alarm.

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Joey noticed it and immediately went to reassure his guest. “Sorry. It’s just when I saw that the place had been cleaned, I knew my mother had been round.” “Oh, right.” “She’s Jewish, so’s my dad. Which of course makes me Jewish, too, though I don’t observe.” “Okay.” Looking at the clean kitchen, Joey went on, “And like mothers the world over, she can’t help sticking her nose in.” He put a set of flowered tea-towels in the bottom drawer of the cabinet, before fishing out his usual plain white ones. “Trust me, Yiddish mothers are the worst for interfering.” Kevin looked sad. “What’s up?” “Nothing.” “It’s okay, Pup, you can tell me.” Joey wondered why he’d used the epithet. It seemed to suit Kevin, those chocolate drop eyes of his looked so much like Bertie’s. Kevin couldn’t meet Joey’s gaze, even though the latter had made a conscious effort to soften it. “My parents disowned me, um…When they—” “When they found out you were gay.” Kevin stared at Joey in absolute terror. Joey suddenly realised what he’d said. “It’s okay. I’ve known about you and Cal Briggs for ages, Cal didn’t exactly keep it a secret.” Joey recalled the many macho boasts the man had shared with his fellow drivers about how he was able to dominate his submissive partner. Though he’d remained unusually quiet on the subject recently. “I’m not out to my family, and I’d like to keep it that way.” Joey shuddered at the thought of them knowing. Needing to change the subject, he said, “Listen, we’ll have to get you out of those wet things, otherwise you’ll catch your death. I’ll run you a bath, then I’ll find you something to put on, though none of my stuff will fit you.” Kevin’s panic appeared to have lessened. “That’s okay, Sir, please just take me home, I’ll be fine.”

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“Rubbish.” Joey was feeling protective towards his guest. “Come on, I’ll carry you to the bathroom, you can strip off in there.” “No, honestly, I—” “Pup,” Joey held Kevin’s face in his hands, “You’re staying for a bath, and it’s not negotiable.” Kevin sagged, obviously giving into the inevitability of it all. Joey hoisted up his burden and carried him into the bathroom. Putting Kevin down on the closed toilet lid, he began to run the water, making sure he added plenty of bubble bath. “Now strip.” “Um, it’s okay, Sir, I can manage, please.” Kevin looked up pleadingly into Joey’s face. Something inside Joey shifted, making him feel…what? He wasn’t sure he could identify it. “Okay,” Joey said softly, backing out of the room. In the hallway, he slapped the side of his face. You’re turning fucking soft. He walked back to the kitchen to rustle up some food. Deciding it probably wasn’t safe to use the bacon, he opted for his old standby of a couple of frozen TV dinners. Joey knew he was no cook. Once the foil trays were in the oven, Joey remembered he hadn’t seen any towels in the bathroom. No doubt his mother had taken them back to her house to be washed. Reaching into the airing cupboard, he pulled out a couple of large bath sheets. Pushing open the bathroom door, Joey said “Here’s some fresh…” The rest of his statement died on his lips as he stared disbelievingly at the sight that greeted him. Kevin lowered his shaking shoulders, a sob escaping from his lips. This snapped Joey out of his inactivity; he moved into the bathroom and went down on his knees in front of the bath. Reaching out a hand, he began to touch the numerous thin raised scars on Kevin’s exposed back. This only seemed to cause Kevin to weep harder. One of the more obvious marks was in the shape of a belt buckle. Joey battled to suppress his anger. “Did Briggs do this?” Joey asked through clenched teeth.

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“Sorry, Sir. I…I…I didn’t want you to see them, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” Kevin dissolved totally. Joey counted to ten, using the time to dig deep into his reserves of strength. Taking a deep breath—and despite being fully clothed—he reached for Kevin. Using as much gentleness as he could muster, Joey plucked the little bloke out of the bath. Wrapping a towel round the shaking ball of human misery, Joey sat on the closed toilet lid and seated Kevin on his knee, holding him close. “Hush, Pup. Please hush.” He began to rock the smaller man. No one spoke for the longest time; Joey kept up his gentle rocking, which eventually had its desired effect. Kevin’s sobs lessened and eventually ceased altogether. “Want to talk about it?” Joey asked, little above a whisper. Kevin shook his head; Joey knew he couldn’t press him. “I think you’re dry now, I’ll try and find you something to wear. Will you be okay if I leave you for a minute?” Kevin nodded, but still kept his head bent. “Okay.” Joey ran into the master bedroom. Flopping down on his bed, he covered his face with a pillow and wept. He hadn’t cried in years, not since he was ten and Bertie had got run over. Joey remembered his father had taken him over his knee and spanked him for showing weakness. “Be a man. Real men don’t cry.” For the whole of his teen years, Joey had tried to live up to the son his father had wanted—no, demanded—he be. If Joey had done the slightest thing wrong, his father would unhook his belt, and Joey had to bend over his old man’s knee, but he never gave the bastard the satisfaction of breaking down! The summer he turned seventeen Joey had come in late after kicking a ball around with his mates; his dad flew into a rage and reached for his belt. Joey had finally had enough. Gripping his father’s arm, he stared into the face of the older man and with a calmness which he didn’t feel, he told his father that he’d been beaten for the last time. “If you take that belt from your trousers, I’ll use it on you.”

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The icy tone in Joey’s voice must have had its desired effect; because his father never struck him again. But the emotional damage had already been done. Joey found it hard to trust anyone, learning not to show any outward sign of emotion. “Sir?” The small voice from the doorway brought Joey back to the present. “I’m sorry.” Joey led Kevin to the bed and indicated he should sit. “I’ll sort out some clothes.” Joey picked out an old Tshirt he’d outgrown, as well as a pair of tracksuit bottoms. “Here we go.” Joey pulled the T-shirt over Kevin’s head. He couldn’t help smiling as he watched the garment totally swallow up the smaller man. “These tracky bottoms have a draw-string, so at least they won’t fall off your waist.” It was necessary to roll up the legs of the trousers as they were about six inches too long. Once dressed, Kevin looked at himself in the mirror and smiled. To Joey, Kevin’s happy face lit up the room, turning a pretty face into a beautiful one. What the fuck’s happening to me? Joey asked himself yet again. I’m turning into an old sap. Hope I feel better in the morning. “Come on, dinner will be almost ready.” Picking the man up—despite his assurances that he could manage, given support—Joey made for the kitchen and set Kevin back down on his stool. “How’s your ankle doing?” “Okay.” “Pup,” Joey fixed Kevin with a stare. “Does it hurt, yes or no?” Kevin squirmed in his seat. “It does kinda throb a bit.” “Thought it might.” Joey retrieved a bag of frozen peas, wrapped it in a towel and applied it to Kevin’s lower leg. “It’s cold!” “It’s meant to be. Now stop complaining. I’ll have another look at it after dinner, and then maybe we can get away with just putting a pressure bandage on it.” “Thanks,” Kevin said softly. “Oh, and I’ve got some pain killers knocking about the place somewhere, you can take a couple with your food.” “I’m not all that hungry.”

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The recent events had robbed Joey of his appetite as well, but he thought it best to try and feed Kevin up, the man looked so thin. Jesus, I’m turning into my mother, Joey castigated himself. “I’m not much of a cook, but I don’t think I’ll poison you,” Joey said, putting the TV dinner in front of Kevin. The two settled down to eat, conversation somewhat muted. Looking over at Kevin who was just picking at his meal, Joey assumed his dining companion had things on his mind. He certainly had. What had caused those marks? Not a belt. He’d been on the receiving end of one enough times to know that. Well the source of the buckle mark was obvious, but what had caused those thin stripes? His anger rose towards Cal, That bastard’s gonna wish he’d never been born. Joey battled to remain calm; he had to for Kevin’s sake. The man was very fragile. He smiled to himself. The old Joey would never have used the word fragile, instead he’d have just dismissed Kevin as weak and pathetic. “Um, I think I should go home,” Kevin said, once he’d eaten his fill. Joey was dismayed to see the man hadn’t eaten very much. Though after looking at his own plate, he too hadn’t attacked the food with his usual gusto. Joey didn’t want Kevin to leave. He felt drawn to the smaller man, he somehow wanted, needed to take care of him, protect him. He shuddered, what the fuck’s happening to me? “It’s still raining,” Joey said after looking up at the rain spattering against the kitchen window. “I’ll be okay.” “I’ve got a spare room. It won’t take me a minute to make up the bed in there.” “I wouldn’t want to put you out.” Shaking his head, Joey got up from his seat and walked round to Kevin, who cowered away. “Pup,” Joey tried to assume as unthreatening a stance as he could. To achieve this he got down on his knees at the side of Kevin’s stool. “I promise you I’ll never hurt you. I’m a man of my word.”

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Kevin didn’t reply. Rubbing Kevin’s arm, Joey could feel the man shivering. He knew it wasn’t cold in the room. “Please look at me.” Kevin slowly met the larger man’s gaze. “Is it hard for you to give your trust to someone, because of,” Joey swallowed, “because of what happened to you?” Kevin nodded before his eyes filled with tears. Joey wanted to rise up and pull the man into a bear hug, but sensed that it wouldn’t be appropriate. “Okay. If you really want me to take you home, I will, but I’d much rather you stay so I can look after that ankle of yours.” “Thanks,” came the softly spoken reply. “You still don’t want to talk about it?” Kevin shook his head in the negative. “That’s okay. Though sometime soon I want you to tell me, but I can wait until you’re ready.” “Why are you being so kind? I mean you’re…” Kevin ground to a halt. Joey knew what Kevin meant. He’d always projected the image of the stud, a different man in his bed every weekend, but here, now…”I don’t know. I just kind of saw you sprawled out on the tarmac back at Parker’s, and I just kinda…wanted to…well, um, help you.” Joey knew his cheeks were starting to redden. Kevin treated Joey to a small smile. The lifting of the corners of his lips sent waves of alien emotions running through Joey’s veins. Before he knew it, he’d leant forward and placed a tender kiss on Kevin’s lips. Joey didn’t go in for kissing, thinking it unmanly, but somehow it seemed to be the right thing to do. Kevin didn’t agree. He stiffened and turned his head away. Withdrawing a few inches, Joey saw a terrified and haunted look in Kevin’s eyes. Damn, I’ve gone too far. “I’m sorry.” Joey looked downwards. He was no good at all this tender shit. “I just….” He swallowed. “I’m sorry.” Shaking his head, Joey changed the subject. “Okay, let’s have a look at that ankle.” ****

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Joey couldn’t sleep. Usually he was out like a light as soon as his head hit the pillow. But there were too many things swimming round in his head. Sighing, he turned onto his left side and tried—yet again—to fall asleep. “No, please, no! Please not again, I’ll be good, I’m sorry! Please don’t.” Joey then heard Kevin come out with a bloodcurdling scream. Joey shot up in bed, darted out of his bedroom, flew across the hallway and into Kevin’s room. He was relieved Kevin hadn’t opted to lock the door, he’d told him he could. “Pup?” Joey said softly when he saw his guest sat bolt upright in the bed. The moonlight, which shone through the windows, the curtains having not been drawn, bathed Kevin in a ghostly whiteness. Joey’s heart raced as he saw his friend’s wild and unfocused eyes. “Pup?” he repeated a little louder. Joey didn’t think he ought to touch Kevin, he might still be experiencing his nightmare. Kevin seemed to suddenly snap into life, he looked at Joey, and began to cry with great wracking sobs. Joey took this as his signal to act, he sat on the side of the bed, extended his arms towards Kevin, who gratefully sank into the embrace. “You’re safe now, no one can hurt you.” Joey began to rub circles on Kevin’s back. Kevin’s own arms had fastened themselves around Joey, holding on with a death grip. “You need a glass of water or something?” Joey asked once Kevin had stopped crying. “Or do you want some cocoa or hot milk? I guess I could put a slug of something alcoholic in it.” “Thanks, Cal would never let me drink alcohol.” Joey tried not to get angry at the mention of Cal’s name. “Okay.” “Sorry to be such a baby.” “Don’t be silly.” Joey ruffled Kevin’s hair before getting off the bed.

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Kevin followed, but as soon as he put weight on his damaged ankle, he crumpled to the floor. “Come here.” Joey scooped Kevin up, their faces almost touching. Joey silently asked if he could kiss Kevin, who answered by moving his lips to Joey’s. Wow! Joey thought when they disengaged. It wasn’t exactly a passion-filled smooch, no tongues were involved, but to Joey it conveyed so much. Joey’s head swam with alien emotions. He negotiated his way to the front room and carefully deposited Kevin on the settee. After lighting the gas fire, he told Kevin he’d go and get him a quilt. “I don’t want you to get cold.” As he made his way back to the bedroom, Joey didn’t know where all this tenderness was coming from, but one thing of which he was certain, it felt so bloody fantastic. Was he going all paternal? He knew he’d probably make a great dad, but did it go deeper than that? He didn’t know. Before grabbing the quilt from his bed, Joey decided he ought to put some clothes on. Pulling a T-shirt over his head, Joey realised his shoulder was still damp from where Kevin had cried on it. He’d never had anyone cry on his shoulder before. The thought made him feel warm and tingly. “Here we are.” Joey spent a little longer than was necessary in tucking the feather quilt around Kevin. He wanted to lean down and kiss the man’s forehead, but thought better of it. Shit, none of this is doing anything for my macho reputation, he thought, entering the kitchen to make the cocoa. **** “Budge up…” Joey said, standing in front of the settee, mugs of cocoa in hand. Kevin moved along the sofa, giving Joey room to sit next to him. Joey’s hands shook a little with the cold as he handed over one of the mugs.

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“Here, share the quilt with me.” “Thanks.” Joey hadn’t expected Kevin to want to be so intimate, but wasn’t about to refuse the offer. Even though the gas fire was blazing away, it was a cold night, and the room hadn’t had a chance to heat up. Once the two were snuggled together, Kevin gulped down a mouthful of his cocoa, which set off a fit of coughing. Joey took the mug from him, fearful he’d spill the hot liquid. “You okay?” “Sorry, wasn’t expecting it to taste like that.” “Suppose I did go overboard on the coffee liqueur.” “Is that what it was?” Kevin accepted the mug again, and took a more tentative sip. “I thought it’d help you sleep.” Watching the expression of pleasure on Kevin’s face, Joey was reluctant to delve into Kevin’s past, but decided to risk it. “You said that Cal wouldn’t let you drink, um, anything alcoholic I mean.” Kevin didn’t answer immediately. “No, he wanted…he thought it was his right to control everything I did.” “Shit, that’s heavy. You two aren’t together any more, are you?” Kevin shook his head. Joey breathed a sigh of relief. “Things were okay at first I suppose. I always wanted to have someone who, well, who...” Kevin faltered. “Someone I could submit to, but Cal, he didn’t know what he was doing half the time, and if you’re gonna be dominant, you have to, well…know what you’re doing.” “Suppose. I don’t really know nothing about that kind of shit.” “Each relationship is different. Some masters are more liberal than others.” “You had to call Cal, Master?” Kevin nodded then shuddered. “Shit. And what did he call you?” Whispering, causing Joey to have to lean closer, Kevin said, “Slave or boy.” “Fuck.”

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“I didn’t mind too much, I loved him but…“ Kevin was beginning to show signs of distress. “S’okay, you don’t have to tell me any more.” Joey worked an arm around Kevin’s back and gave him a squeeze. “Thanks, I’d like to tell you, but I don’t—” “You don’t trust me enough yet.” “Sorry.” “I can understand that. I promise I won’t put any pressure on you, okay?” “Thanks, Sir.” “Why, um, why do you keep calling me sir?” “Well, Cal taught me that I had to be deferential to men better than me.” “Better?” “Stronger, more dominant men, you know?” Kevin shifted uncomfortably. “I see.” Joey wasn’t sure that he did. “You don’t mind?” “Um, no, guess not.” It actually gave Joey something of a power trip. “You don’t mind me calling you Pup? You kind of remind me of a dog I used to have when I was a kid. Well, your eyes do anyway.” “I don’t mind, it’s kinda, well, it kinda makes me feel, well, sort of, um…well,” Kevin’s voice dropped back to a whisper. “Wanted.” The two fell silent, both with their own thoughts. “Fuck, it’s half past two, and I’ve got to be at work at eight tomorrow,” Joey said, noticing the time on the DVD player. “Oh yeah, you’ve got that load of dog food to deliver to Huddersfield.” “How come you knew that?” “Oh I…I…I, well I just kinda saw it on the schedule.” “But there’s twenty full time drivers, plus a few casuals, seems funny you knowing what I would be hauling tomorrow.” Kevin didn’t answer. He couldn’t meet Joey’s eyes. “What’s going on?” “Nothing, Sir.”

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“Pup!” Joey put an edge into his voice. “One thing I can’t stand is being lied to. Although not all the drivers have a Saturday delivery, I don’t usually, but I don’t understand why you’d know about my whereabouts.” “Sorry, I, well, I…” Kevin dried up. Joey raised Kevin’s chin, and treated him to a quizzical expression, tinged with a little annoyance. “I like, well I’ve often, shit. I’ve kinda fantasised what it’d be like if you were my sir, if you looked after me, were my owner. You’re strong…Powerful. “ Kevin burst into tears. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to tell you none of this. I know I’d never be good enough for you, and you don’t want anyone and probably I shouldn’t have anyone ’cause I’m no good, I’m damaged and worthless—” “Whoa!” Joey’s head was spinning. He had no idea Kevin had been, well, carrying a torch for him. He, the mean, rough lorry driver, had someone pining after him? God, he couldn’t process all of this so early, or was it late, in the morning. “I’m sorry, Sir, You said you wouldn’t press me, but you did, and I shouldn’t have said anything, I’ve spoilt it, I’ll be off in the morning, you won’t have to deal—” “Shut up.” Joey instantly regretted his harsh words. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Look, it’s late, I can’t deal with this now. But one thing,” Joey said, putting as much sincerity into his voice as he could muster. “You aren’t damaged goods, you are not unworthy. Got that?” Kevin didn’t answer. “Hell, man,” Joey pulled Kevin onto his knee and gave him a tight squeeze. “You’re a fucking wonderful little bloke. But too much shit has gone on today, you’re still hurting from whatever Cal did to you, he was the one who hit you, right?” Kevin nodded against Joey’s shoulder. Joey had an irresistible urge to punch Briggs’ lights out. He forced himself to relax. “Listen, I really have to get some sleep.” Kevin made no move to disengage from their hug, and if he were honest, Joey didn’t want to be separated from Kevin. “Would you like to come and sleep in my bed tonight?” He

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felt Kevin’s body go rigid. “Just to sleep, nothing else. The idea of just sleeping without sex held a strange appeal. Joey didn’t know where the thought had come from, he’d never ‘just slept’ with a guy in, well, he didn’t know how long. After a long silence, Kevin nodded his head in agreement. Joey felt strangely elated. “You need the toilet first?” “Please, Sir.” Joey carried his pup to the bathroom, even watched him do his business, something that would normally have grossed him out, but not with Kevin. Then he scooped him up again, laid him on the bed, went back to the living room to retrieve the quilt, and then snuggled down in the bed with Kevin draped over his chest. **** “Well, look who it is!” Kevin turned to see Cal leaning against the doorpost at the front entrance of Parker’s Haulage, lazily chewing on a stick of gum. Joey had persuaded a reluctant Kevin to accompany him to work that morning, and ride with him in his cab. “Go away.” Kevin realised he sounded pathetic. Cal had always had a frightening effect on him. Cal laughed. “I’m not due out for another ten minutes, I’m gonna take you round the back,” Cal pointed his thumb behind his left shoulder, “and you’re gonna get down on your knees to worship my prick.” Kevin felt a cold shudder run down his spine. He wanted to run away, but Cal was always able to send him into a state of immobility with a single look. “No thanks, I’m not interested.” Clearly Cal hadn’t thought Kevin would disobey. His left eyebrow almost disappeared into his mop of ginger curls. His mouth set into a hard line. Kevin, much as he wanted to look away, just couldn’t move. Cal pushed himself from the doorframe and slowly approached. Kevin’s heart began to beat faster, his knees turning to jelly.

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“What did you say?” Cal’s icy voice was barely above a whisper. “He said he wasn’t interested,” a louder voice announced from behind Cal. Spinning round, Cal saw Joey. “Hi, mate, didn’t know you were doing a run today.” His tone had changed from menacing to one of friendly deference. Fixing his gaze on Kevin, Joey said, “Go and get into the cab.” He tossed the keys to a still shaking Kevin, who dropped them. “But...” Kevin bent and picked up the keys. Joey’s expression hardened. “Pup.” His gaze wasn’t menacing, like the ones Cal used to use, but Kevin knew Joey wasn’t to be disobeyed. “Yes, Sir.” As Kevin limped away and rounded the corner of the building, the angry voices of Joey and Cal grew mercifully fainter. Climbing into Joey’s truck, Kevin looked round. It had been some time since he was inside a cab. Cal would never let him into his. The thing was actually quite spacious. He noted with some amusement that the interior was clean and uncluttered, which was surprising because Joey had admitted he didn’t keep his flat very tidy. “Right, we can get off now,” Joey said, opening the large door at the driver’s side. Glancing at Joey, Kevin was disturbed to see he’d been in a fight, his left eye showed some darkening bruises under it, and there was a trickle of blood oozing from his nose. Joey’s knuckles also showed signs of grazing. “Oh, Sir.” Joey smiled and stroked Kevin’s hair gently. “I’m okay. But you should see the other guy.” “I’ll go and get something to put on your cuts. That black eye needs ice.” Not waiting for Joey to protest, Kevin turned to the passenger’s door. “I won’t be a minute.” Kevin fumbled with the catch. “It’s not necessary.”

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Kevin paused, he didn’t want to disagree with Joey, but he felt he had to. “I’m sorry, Sir, but it is, you’re hurt.” “Thanks. It’s nice to have someone looking out for me.” Kevin lowered his head. He could feel his cheeks beginning to flush. “Um, yeah.” Kevin wondered why he was behaving as he was. “I’m sure I’ll be fine, but if you’d feel happier, then go and do what you need to, but be quick about it, we’re already running late.” “Yes, Sir.” Walking quickly, despite his limp, Kevin was on a mission. He wasn’t sure how he felt about two men fighting over him. He was flattered, but on the other hand he hated violence. The fact that Joey had stood up for him, got hurt for him, raised Joey in his estimations. Grabbing a few items from the first aid box, Kevin scuttled back to Joey’s lorry. He saw a rather dishevelled Cal lumbering towards his own vehicle—Kevin gave him a wide berth. No point in tempting fate, he thought. “Ouch!” Joey winced as Kevin applied iodine to his cuts. “Sorry, Sir, I did warn you.” “Yeah, you did,” Joey said through gritted teeth. “Well, if you will go off fighting,” Kevin said light-heartedly. “I was defending you.” Kevin stopped what he was doing and lowered his head. “No one’s ever stuck up for me before,” he whispered. Kevin felt a hand rest on his shoulder; he looked up to see a concerned expression on Joey’s face. “I was always getting picked on at school. I tried to make friends with a couple of the bigger kids, hoping they’d protect me.” “And did they?” Joey rubbed Kevin’s shoulder. “Sort of, but they weren’t keen on having a nerd hanging around them all the time.” “Sorry.” “Not your fault.” “No,” Joey sighed. “I guess I was a bit of a bully at school, I never really saw things from the other person’s point of view.” “There’s no reason why you should, you being strong and

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tough and everything.” Joey sighed, obviously thinking about things in his past. “There, you’ll do,” Kevin said, finishing patching up Joey’s face and hands. “You might not win any beauty competitions for a few weeks, but there shouldn’t be any permanent damage.” “You saying I’d win one normally?” Kevin felt his face heat up. He hated that he blushed way too easily. Joey ruffled Kevin’s hair. “You go and put the stuff back, then we really have to be going.” Kevin nodded. “Sorry there was no ice. Mr Parker must have used it all. I’m sorry I didn’t check it yesterday.” Joey took Kevin’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “How were you to know I’d need ice today? And anyway, I wouldn’t be able to drive with an ice pack stuck on my face.” “True.” “Now go on, scram.” Joey waved his hand at the passenger’s door. As he limped back to the main building, Kevin felt a warm glow wash over him. Maybe he’d misjudged Joey. Underneath the man was kind, gentle, and… Packing away the unused Band Aids, antiseptic ointment and iodine, Kevin couldn’t help but to recall the events of the previous night. Joey had been wonderful. No one, least of all Cal, had shown him such kindness and consideration before. Though Cal had his moments of tenderness—Kevin had lived for those—they were few and far between. But last night, Joey had carried him around his flat, fed him—although the food wasn’t up to much—then he’d talked with him, and best of all held him all night long without making any sexual demands on him. With a jolt, Kevin realised he was falling for the big lorry driver. The thought scared him; Kevin knew he wasn’t ready for a relationship. It was highly unlikely Joey wanted him anyway. **** The air brakes hissed as Joey brought the wagon to a

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halt. Looking over to the passenger seat, he couldn’t help the broad smile as he looked fondly at the small form of Kevin all curled up and fast asleep. Their late night, plus the pain-killers Joey had insisted Kevin take for his ankle no doubt had contributed to the man’s tiredness. He does look like a puppy, Joey thought. Although the run was over, Joey was reluctant to leave his cab; he didn’t want to break the spell. It had been great having someone along for the ride. Sure he’d often pick up a hitch-hiker or two, now and again he’d use the bed in the back of the cab to unload his balls into one or maybe both of his passenger’s holes, but today had been different, there were no expectations of sex, and to his surprise, he was perfectly comfortable with that. Thankfully the traffic had been fairly light, so they’d made good time. So much so Joey had decided they could pull in at a service station and have a decent lunch. Normally he’d just grab a quick bite at a greasy spoon, but he decided to push the boat out for once. Kevin hadn’t eaten much. At first Joey thought that the man wasn’t feeling well, but Kevin had reassured him he only had a small appetite. “There’s not much of me to feed, and ’cause I don’t have a manual job, I don’t need that much food to keep me going.” “Okay, if you say so.” Joey hadn’t been entirely convinced; this was borne out when it came time to pay for the meal. It turned out Kevin hadn’t had that much money with him. Joey had been going to pay for the meal anyway, but he kicked himself for not telling Kevin this at the start. On the way out Joey had bought a French stick filled with chicken and salad. “There, that should keep you going.” “Oh, Sir, I…“ “Not another word.” Joey had put an arm around the smaller man and helped him out of the restaurant. The man still had a limp, though Kevin had assured Joey it was getting better. “Come on, we better use the bogs while we can.” Joey had guided his mate towards the gent’s toilets. “Do you need a cubicle?”

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“No, Sir, it’s fine.” A middle aged balding man must have heard Kevin’s comments because he had started sniggering. Joey had treated the guy to one of his menacing looks, backing it up with a flexing of his muscles. “You got a problem, pal?” “Um, no,” the man had said before fleeing the toilets, forgetting to wash his hands. Joey had then felt Kevin shake a little. As there was no one else in the room, he had bent down and gave Kevin a soft kiss on the lips. “Ignore him, he doesn’t matter.” “Sorry if I embarrassed you, Sir.” “You didn’t. I think it’s great that you wanna call me that. No one’s ever done it, well, not for real anyway.” Feeling he needed to change the subject, Joey had pointed towards the trough. “Better drain the lizards.” As they stood at the stainless steel urinal, Joey had noticed from the corner of his eye Kevin checking him out. Joey was proud of his manhood—but he always regretted the fact that he’d lost his foreskin thanks to his parents’ religious beliefs—so he put on a bit of a show. He’d smiled to himself when a few moments later Kevin experienced some difficulty putting away his hardened member. The remembered images of the scene in the gents’ toilets stimulated Joey’s bladder. Reluctantly he shook Kevin’s shoulder and said, “Time to wake up. We’re back at Parker’s.” Joey watched with rapt attention as Kevin’s eyes opened, his face showing momentary confusion. Understanding soon dawned, their eyes met, and Kevin’s face lit up in pleasure. A warm feeling started to make itself known in Joey’s middle and soon spread outwards. Joey shook his head, concerned at how this little guy was getting under his skin. “What time is it?” Kevin asked through a yawn. “Half past four.” Kevin stretched. “I better get off home. I need to go to the laundrette before they close.” “Bring it round to mine and put it through my washer.” The words had left Joey’s mouth before he could stop them.

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“I couldn’t.” “Sure you could. Come on, it’s decided.” Joey opened his door and jumped to the ground. Kevin seemed to be struggling with the catch, so Joey went round to the passenger’s side and opened the door for him. “Come ’ere.” Joey opened his arms. Kevin leapt from the cab into the waiting embrace. Tightening his grip, Joey couldn’t help thinking how perfectly Kevin seemed to fit. After sniffing Kevin’s hair, Joey planted a tender kiss on the man’s forehead before releasing him. “Just got to use the loo, do the paperwork, then we’ll go to your place to pick up your dirty laundry, okay?” “Thanks, Sir.” Joey slung an arm around Kevin. “Come on, lean on me.” When they got inside, he asked, “You need to go to the loo as well?” “No, Sir, I’m fine.” Joey entered the white tiled room and made for one of the cubicles. He’d developed a hard on while holding Kevin, and he wanted a few minutes alone to deal with it. It’s weird, Joey thought, moistening the head of his penis prior to masturbating. When I hold him, I don’t wanna fuck his brains out, I just wanna… Joey couldn’t decide what he wanted to do. Sure, he thought the guy was as cute as a button, he got off on the smaller man’s vulnerability, his deference. But what did he really feel? He shelved the thoughts as his passions ascended towards climax. He brought up fantasy images of Kevin prostrating himself in front of him, of Kevin kneeling and begging to be allowed to service him. Joey finally shot his bolt when he imagined Kevin on his stomach, licking Joey’s feet. Joey needed a few seconds to catch his breath, he’d shot a larger load than usual. He believed this was partially due to his lurid thoughts, but also he hadn’t come in over twenty-four hours. Once he’d cleaned up, Joey took a shit, wiped his arse, and then after washing his hands went in search of Kevin. “Here we go, just sign and we’re finished,” Kevin said, greeting Joey with a smile.

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Giving the paperwork a quick once over, Joey noted that all was correct. “Thanks, Pup, I hate this part of the job.” “Yeah, I know. I’m the one who usually has to decipher what you’ve put. You’ve got the worst handwriting of all the drivers.” “Don’t be cheeky.” Joey reached out to box Kevin’s ears. Kevin gave out a frightened squeak before dropping to the floor and curling up into a ball. What the fuck? It took Joey a couple of seconds to process what had happened, he’d only been joking around. What the hell has this bloke been through to make him like this? Getting down on his knees next to the shaking man, Joey gently reached out a hand. Kevin flinched away. “I’m sorry, Pup.” Joey tried to sound as gentle and reassuring as he could. “I’d never hurt you.” Joey found his voice was cracking with emotion. It was true; he couldn’t imagine causing harm to the gentle soul he’d befriended. “I’m gonna put my hands on your shoulders, okay? I’m not going to hurt you, I promise.” Joey reached out his large, work-roughened hands and gently rested them on Kevin’s shoulders. He could feel the tremors coming from the smaller man, but Joey held still, hoping some measure of calmness would flow out of him and into the troubled younger man. Eventually Kevin’s shakes lessened, Joey gently squeezing the man’s shoulders in encouragement, speaking quietly and reassuringly to him all the while. Releasing his hold, Joey remained on his knees and opened his arms. “Pup.” Kevin seemed to snap out of whatever nightmare he’d been in, and launched himself at Joey. He wrapped his thin arms around Joey’s bulk and squeezed hard. Joey pulled his own arms around his smaller companion, but was careful not to apply too much pressure. Neither man spoke for the next few minutes; Joey just listened to his friend’s breathing and occasional sniffle.

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Deciding to break the silence, Joey pulled back and cupped Kevin’s face in his hands. “What happened?” “Sorry, Sir, I remembered when I’d filled in the same forms for Cal.” He shuddered. Joey pulled Kevin back into his chest. “He said I’d made a mistake with the mileage,” Kevin mumbled into Joey’s shoulder, “And he…Well, he got mad. That was,” Kevin swallowed, “That was when I got this.” Kevin released himself from Joey, pulled up his shirt, turned round and pointed to the belt buckle shaped mark on his back. Joey wished he’d killed Cal that morning when he’d had the chance. He’d stopped his assault when the other man promised he’d not go within ten feet of Kevin ever again. “Sorry,” Joey said through a tightened throat. “I had no idea. I was only being playful with you earlier, I wouldn’t, I just couldn’t hurt you like that.” Kevin lowered his shirt and turned to face Joey, who took hold of Kevin’s hands. “I’ve been a bully, more like Cal than I’m comfortable about telling you. But…” Joey shook his head, he couldn’t put into words how Kevin had shown him a different way. “But I promise, I won’t hurt you.” Joey stood and began to stretch his hamstrings. “Ouch, all this kneeling has sent my legs to sleep.” Sitting on the edge of the desk, Joey reached out and ran a hand through Kevin’s hair, he didn’t know why he was drawn so much to the man’s brown mop of straight hair, but somehow he found it comforting to touch, he hoped Kevin got a similar sense of peace from the gesture, too. “Do you want me to take you home, and you can do your laundry yourself? I mean, if you, um, want to be alone.” Kevin, who was kneeling on the floor, leant against Joey’s leg and wrapped an arm around it. Resting his head on Joey’s knee, he looked up at the seated man. “No, Sir, if the offer’s still open, then I’d like to wash my clothes at your place.” Joey nodded, before ruffling Kevin’s hair again.

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Chapter 2 “Oy, if I didn’t take care of you, I swear you’d fall through the gaps in the pavement.” “Ma, don’t fuss.” “Now you listen to your mother, Joey Goldman.” Kevin watched in mild amusement as the diminutive, greyhaired, mature woman, took over the kitchen as well as Joey himself. It was fascinating to see the alpha male defer to his mother as she continued to harangue him for various perceived misdeeds. Kevin and Joey had only just set the washing machine going with its first load, when they’d heard the front door opening, a tower of Tupperware boxes with legs coming through it. “Feh, my Joey a balagoleh!” She paused in her unpacking of the pile of food containers, a sour expression on her face. “Balagoleh is Jewish for lorry driver,” Joey translated for Kevin. Kevin smiled in gratitude, but his thoughts were soon brought back to Joey’s mother. “…when your dad and me had our hearts so set on you becoming a doctor.” She sighed dramatically. “You could have done so much better for yourself, Joey. Look at Peter Rosenthal. He sat all his exams, and he’s now a bank manager. Why couldn’t you have done something to make your mother proud?” “Ma, Peter Rosenthal is a snivelling little pain in the arse…um, rear. And anyway he’s only an assistant bank manager.” Joey’s mother didn’t seem to be listening; she just continued to empty her Tupperware boxes. “Ma, I’ll never eat all this,” Joey said, gesturing at the mountain of food. “Feh, it’s only a few leftovers.” Kevin watched as the entire worktop soon was covered in various strange looking foodstuffs. Turning to Kevin, Joey said, “My mother has been feeding her family leftovers for the past thirty years, I’ve yet to see the

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original meal.” Kevin couldn’t help giggling, which stopped immediately when Mrs Goldman fixed him with a look. “Are you Jewish, young man?” “Oh no, Mrs, um, Goldman, if anything I suppose I’m an atheist.” “Feh, that’s stupid, atheists don’t get any religious holidays.” Joey started to snigger, but he stopped when the look was turned on him. “I’ll heat up this chicken soup. You’ll have some, won’t you?” she turned to Kevin. “Even atheists have to eat.” “Ma, I was going to order a pizza.” “Pizza?” Mrs Goldman’s eyebrows disappeared into her iron-grey hairline. “You want to eat Italian take away food, when your mother has sweated over a hot stove all day to make sure her only son gets a wholesome meal into him?” Turning back to Kevin, “I bet you don’t disrespect your mother like that, do you?” Kevin battled not to show any outward signs of distress. He hadn’t spoken with his mother in over five years, not since she and his father disowned him. “No, Mrs Goldman.” “See, Joey? Your friend, um…” “Kevin,” Joey supplied. “He does what his mother tells him. Now sit down, I’ll soon have it ready.” Bowing to the inevitable, Joey took his seat. “You got kreplach?” “Sure I got kreplach. There’s lokshon, too.” Kevin looked confused, not sure he was going to like the foreign food, but felt too shy, not to say scared, to say anything. “It’s okay.” Joey whispered. “Ma’s a good cook.” “What are, um, these crepe things?” Mrs Goldman must have heard him. “You not had kreplach before?” Kevin shook his head. “Oh, you haven’t lived,” Joey smiled, obviously trying to get into his mother’s good books. “They’re dough balls filled with

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meat. And lokshon is noodles.” Joey’s stomach rumbled. His mother took this as further evidence she was correct in her assumption that her son wasn’t eating properly. “All that food you get at those service stations. I bet it isn’t kosher.” Joey didn’t reply, but his mother had moved on and didn’t notice. “Now, young Kevin, you try my chicken soup, you’ll love it,” she said, placing a large soup plate in front of him. Kevin could see several lumps that he assumed were the dough balls, floating in a sea of yellow liquid. “Feh, that Mrs Rosenthal from down the road, she had the chutzpah to give me another chicken soup recipe last week. She told me that it was better than mine. Oy, nobody’s chicken soup is better than mine. Why, when the Rabbi’s mother was at death’s door last winter, after she had a couple of bowls of my chicken soup, she got out of her sick bed.” “Didn’t the Rabbi’s mother die last year?” Joey asked, dipping his spoon into his own bowl of soup. Mrs Goldman waved a hand in dismissal. “That was later. Probably happened after she’d had some of Mrs Rosenthal’s chicken soup.” Joey winked at Kevin as his mother continued to tell her tale. Kevin had to admit the soup was very good, but he could only manage half of it. “You not hungry? You’ll never grow up to be big and strong like my Joey if you don’t eat.” “I thought I was in danger of falling through the cracks in the pavement?” “Don’t answer back.” Mrs Goldman flicked a tea towel at her son. “Ouch!” Joey’s mother bustled around the kitchen, putting the food in the fridge and freezer. “Oy, why have you bought more bacon?” she asked, head deep inside the fridge. “’Cause I like it, now don’t you dare throw it away.” Joey got up from his seat to guard his fridge.

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“You’re not a good Jew. Such a disappointment. Not like…” “Peter Rosenthal, yeah I know, Ma,” Joey said, cutting his mother off in mid sentence. “He’s walking out with that nice Maureen Frank. Such a nice girl, and from a good Jewish family, too.” Kevin saw Joey close his eyes. “When are you going to settle down, Joey? You’re getting too old to be single. People will start to talk.” “Let them. I’m happy as I am.” “Feh.” She shrugged. “Such a disappointment. Not like your sister Carole.” Turning to Kevin, Mrs Goldman said, “That’s Carole with an ‘e.’” Joey rolled his eyes. “Ma, our Carole is hardly a good example.” “She got married and gave her mother a grandson.” “Yeah, but she’s divorced now.” The woman sighed. “That Maurice was no good, I never liked him, his eyes were too close together. You can’t ever trust a man whose eyes are close together. But she wouldn’t listen.” Turning to Kevin, she continued, “My children never listen. Oy, I got enough stress from my children for two people.” Joey rolled his eyes again. “Ma, you were fawning all over Maurice when he asked dad for Carole’s hand in marriage.” Joey’s mother moved on quickly. “Speaking of Carole, I’ve got to go and see her. Our Simon is misbehaving again. He needs a father figure, that’s what’s the matter with him.” “Okay, Ma, thanks for the food. You better be off then,” Joey said, gathering up all the empty plastic boxes and pushing them, along with his mother, toward the door. “Thank you very much for the soup, Mrs Goldman, it was delicious,” Kevin said, just before the woman disappeared out of the door. “You’re very welcome, young man. He’s so polite, Joey. You ought to take a leaf out of his book,” Kevin heard Mrs Goldman say as she was propelled out of the flat. ****

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“It’s too soon, after Cal I mean,” Kevin said into the phone. “Yes, but I know what you’re like, love,” Peter replied. “You start building up all these fantasies in your head, and you get upset when they don’t come true.” “Yeah.” Kevin swallowed a sob. “You know me too well.” “That’s because we were separated at birth. I know when Andy broke it off with me, I was in a world of hurt.” “But you recovered.” “Thanks to my best friend in all the world.” “And Terry.” “Yeah.” Peter sounded wistful. “I don’t know where I’d be without that man, the big lummox.” Kevin didn’t trust his voice, so stayed silent. He knew he shouldn’t be envious of his best friend, but it wasn’t easy. Each time he saw Peter and Terry all loving and smiling, he just wished he could have a fraction of that happiness. “Listen, love,” Peter broke into Kevin’s thoughts. “Do you want Terry and me to come over for the evening, keep you company?” “Nah, it’s okay.” Kevin needed to be alone to work through his feelings towards Joey. The two had talked animatedly in the truck cab that afternoon, Kevin believing they were growing closer. This seemed to be born out when Joey had comforted him when he’d lost it in the office. He couldn’t understand, therefore, the change that had come over Joey after his mother had left. Though had anything really changed? Had he misinterpreted Joey’s earlier kindness? “You’ve probably got plans to go out anyway,” Kevin told Peter. “Well, Terry did manage to get his hands on a couple of theatre tickets, but if you need us…” Peter trailed off. “No, love, you two go out and have a good time. I don’t think I’d be much company tonight anyway.” “You’re sure?” “Sure, I’m sure.” Kevin hoped he sounded convincing. “Just promise me you’ll give that hunk of yours a big hug from me.” Peter laughed. “Okay, mate, I will. Catch ya later.”

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“Yeah, later.” Kevin hung up the phone and sank into his only armchair and began to run the events of the day through his mind. He had been folding his freshly laundered clothes in Joey’s kitchen, when Joey had walked in all dressed up, looking stunning. The older man had put on a black shirt, which looked to be made of silk; it clung to his chest, displaying his bulging muscles to perfection. Kevin couldn’t help drooling as his eyes fixed themselves on the mound in Joey’s black leather trousers. They were so tight, he could swear he could make out the head of Joey’s cut penis through them. And as for the smell, Kevin didn’t know what aftershave Joey had used, but it, along with the visual signals he was receiving, caused his own dick to begin to awaken. Kevin had wondered what was happening. Was Joey going to take him out somewhere? Strangely the idea hadn’t filled him with panic. Cal had rarely taken him anywhere, and on the few occasions he did, they’d usually end up at a pub. Cal would proceed to get drunk, becoming ever more obnoxious as his state of inebriation increased. When they had pulled up outside Kevin’s building, Joey had merely given Kevin a perfunctory wave before revving his engine and tearing off down the road, leaving Kevin standing on the pavement feeling rather lost, even abandoned. He’d kicked himself for getting his hopes up about being taken out. Putting away the last of his clean laundry, Kevin tried to work out why he was feeling so low. It wasn’t as if he and Joey were going out or anything, Kevin had told the older man he couldn’t deal with another relationship. “So why the hell do you feel as though he’s let you down?” Kevin asked himself aloud. Looking at his wristwatch, Kevin wondered how he could fill the remainder of his evening. After a moment’s thought, he decided to take a shower, hoping the warm water would wash away some of his frustrations. Crossing the hallway outside his room, Kevin went into the communal bathroom that he was forced to share with four

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other people. As Kevin dried himself, he decided things had worked out for the best with Joey. Joey was, despite his fervent denials, too much like Cal for comfort. It was still early, so Kevin decided to watch some television. Flipping through the five available channels, he eventually settled on an old movie he’d seen before. Kevin soon lost himself in the plot and, for a time at least, was able to put aside his current problems. After the film, Kevin occupied himself with household chores, the sameness helping to settle his thoughts. **** Joey knew he needed time and space to think, so he dressed himself in his best copping off gear, straddled his bike, dropped Kevin off at his place, and went for a long ride. The wind rushing past him as he pushed the bike to its limits on the motorway gave him a feeling of exhilaration, of unfettered freedom. Despite his loud and frequent protests to the contrary, Joey loved his mother dearly, and hated the thought of disappointing her. He’d never intended that she’d ever meet any of the men he’d had sex with. Okay, he’d actually only slept with Kevin, but even so, the encounter had unnerved him. Joey knew he could never marry and settle down, as his mother wanted, but at least if he hid his private life from his ever-vigilant mother, he could remain comfortable with his gayness. Even though it was still early, Joey decided to head for The Black Bear. A dose of anonymous man sex was just what he needed to sort his head out. He’d gone soft over the past 24 hours, maybe that was his problem. Yeah, he’d hook up with a good-looking twink, go back to the guy’s place and fuck out his frustrations. After resting his bike on its stand, Joey removed his helmet and stowed it away. Unzipping his leather jacket, he undid a couple of shirt buttons, exposing more of his furry chest.

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Setting his jaw and squaring his shoulders, he started walking toward the pub’s entrance. It was show time. The dark, warm and loud atmosphere of The Black Bear enveloped Joey, making him feel at home. Yeah, this was where he belonged, where he felt most comfortable. With a swagger, certain that a number of pairs of eyes were on him, he slowly made his way to the bar. “Half a pint of Diet Coke!” Joey announced to the back of the barman’s head. The barman was busy serving another customer, but Joey knew he would be served next. He’d allowed the bloke to blow him the previous month. The guy hadn’t been all that good, Joey kept feeling the guy’s teeth touch his exposed head, but the continued preferential treatment at the bar had been worth the discomfort. After paying for his drink—Joey never drank alcohol when he was on the prowl—he turned to survey the room. It was a little early, and the pickings weren’t all that appealing. But he could wait, he wasn’t in any hurry. “Um, hello,” a hesitant voice from his left broke into Joey’s thoughts. Turning round, he saw a balding man in his mid forties. The guy was a couple of inches shorter than him, and somewhat over-weight. Joey just stared at the man without speaking. The guy licked his lips, his expression of hunger wavering slightly. The man wasn’t Joey’s type, but he thought as there weren’t many other people about, he could amuse himself by playing the game for a while. Joey had once taken pity on an older man; he’d been feeling rather charitable that night. He thought he’d make the guy’s day by treating him to his attention, ending the night with a mercy fuck. Though Joey had regretted it, the guy was an incessant talker. This Joey didn’t mind too much, he liked his sex partners to tell him how good he was making them feel. But this particular guy had saved most of his chatter for after the event, telling Joey how it wasn’t easy for him, his wife didn’t understand him, and…Joey had tuned out the rest of the guy’s monologue. “I, um, I’ve seen you in here before,” the man finally spoke.

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Lifting his glass to his lips, Joey drained the contents before handing the empty glass to his companion. “Diet Coke.” “Oh, um, sure.” The man turned to the bar and tried to get the barman’s attention. Joey waited for his drink, studiously ignoring his benefactor. After the guy finally got served, he turned and gave Joey his drink. “Ta.” “Um, I’m, um, Ken. I’ve not, um, come in here that often.” “Uh huh.” Joey was already losing interest. The guy reeked of married, or recently divorced. Joey wasn’t going there again. “Yeah, well, um, it’s not easy, um, you know.” Joey treated the guy to a theatrical yawn, not even bothering to put his hand over his open mouth. However, the guy ploughed on, oblivious to Joey’s disinterest. “Look, pal,” Joey eventually said. “Ken,” the guy corrected. “Whatever. Thanks for the drink, but I just ain’t interested.” “Oh.” The guy slunk away, Joey sighing with relief. It was a slow evening, even for Saturday night. Joey surmised the inclement weather had kept most of the punters indoors. He’d been propping up the bar for about an hour when he spotted a possible hook-up come in. The guy did all the right things, only looking at him briefly before dropping his eyes. He was blond, early twenties, virtually all skin and bone, but Joey didn’t mind that. He was about half an inch taller, but with his bowed head, this didn’t seem to matter. Joey felt the guy tremble slightly when he casually draped an arm around the man’s slight frame. Joey liked them a bit timid, maybe not as timid as Kevin, though. Joey shook his head; he’d successfully managed to not think about Kevin all evening. The two moved to a corner booth, the other guy sitting close, almost touching. This was necessary because it was difficult to be heard above the jukebox, which was pounding out its usual mix of rock and heavy metal. The two spent a couple of hours together, Joey feeling the other guy up, though he steadfastly refused to allow his

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companion to kiss him, telling him he wasn’t into ‘all that romantic shit’. Thinking he’d reeled in his prey sufficiently, Joey asked if the guy had a place they could go back to. “No, sorry, I live at home with my mum and dad.” Joey didn’t really want the man to go back to his place, though he couldn’t identify why. He’d certainly had plenty of men in his bed before. Rather than allow all his hard work to go to waste, he pulled on the guy’s denim clad arm, and led him to the toilets. The small room was poorly lit, and stank of stale piss. They had to wait a few minutes until a couple of guys emerged from one of the cubicles, both still adjusting their trousers. The man—Joey had instantly forgotten his name when he’d been told it—sank to his knees the moment the door was bolted. Joey fumbled for his zipper while the other guy licked his lips in anticipation. But something was wrong. Although he’d been hard earlier at the thought of being blown by this attractive twink, now the moment of truth was upon him, Joey found himself unable to rise to the occasion. He massaged his crotch for a few moments, pretending to tease his kneeling partner. Macho pride prevented him from whipping out a soft prick. Closing his eyes, Joey tried to conjure up a variety of erotic images, but Kevin’s sad face kept superimposing itself onto the inside of his eyelids. “Fuck!” “Please, let me.” Joey felt the man reach out and press the soft bulge at his crotch. As soon as the man’s hand made contact, a bolt of reality, fear—or was it understanding—hit Joey. He had to find Kevin, kiss him, apologise to him and…Joey wasn’t sure what else. All he knew was that he had to get to his pup. Turning on his heel, Joey frantically unlocked the cubicle door and fled, almost tripping over a couple who were sixtynining on the dirty tiled floor. “What’s the matter?” the abandoned twink called out. However, Joey wasn’t listening. He ran out of the toilets, then across the now fairly crowded pub, and out into the freezing outdoors. It had stopped raining, though Joey didn’t notice. After

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donning his helmet, he revved the bike’s engine before peeling out of the car park, and made his way along the quiet and relatively empty streets to Kevin’s. Fortunately his years of lorry driving had given him an excellent sense of direction. It only took five minutes to find Kevin’s block of bed-sitters, though Joey was somewhat wary of leaving his bike in that part of town, he knew he’d have to chance the fact that the thing might not be there in the morning. Taking the stairs two at a time, Joey quickly realised he didn’t know which door was Kevin’s. He’d never been inside the building before. As the adrenaline in his body began to dissipate, his teeth started to chatter. He’d ridden across town without even zipping up his jacket; his only concern being getting to Kevin. Once he’d located Kevin’s door, he started to pound on it. There was no answer, maybe Kevin wasn’t there, Joey began to panic, but couldn’t identify why. “Hello?” came a soft voice from within. “Kevin, it’s me…Joey.” Joey heard the sound of the lock disengaging and a bolt being drawn back. When the door opened to reveal his pup, wearing a pair of boxer shorts and a creased white T-shirt, both Joey’s heart and his dick began to swell. “Uh, why’re you here?” Kevin rubbed at his eyes. Joey thought he looked so adorably cute. “I…was just passing.” Joey shifted his feet uncomfortably. Why the fuck couldn’t he just come out with how he was really feeling? “Oh, um, right. You best come in.” Kevin moved aside to allow a now shivering Joey to gain admittance. “Thanks.” “You’re cold.” Kevin reached out to touch Joey’s hand; the contact sent a warm sensation running up Joey’s arm and into his chest. “Um, yeah.” “I’ll make you a hot drink.” Kevin indicated his lone armchair. He busied himself lighting the gas fire then went into the

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tiny kitchen area. Joey watched the man as he worked; none of his movements seemed exaggerated or unnecessary. He moved with fluidity and natural grace. Joey shook his head, amazed at his poetic thoughts. He so wanted to leap from his chair and engulf the smaller man and shower him with kisses. Wasn’t that why he’d left The Black Bear and sped across town? But now he was actually in Kevin’s presence—an unexplainable something, maybe his cursed macho pride—held him back. Joey felt Kevin touching his arm. The gesture snapped him back to the present. “Huh?” Kevin treated Joey to a small smile, which went a long way to thawing out his insides. “I said, could you take your coffee black? The milk’s gone off.” “Oh, um, yeah. No problem.” As he watched his friend work, Joey realised it was no good, he just had to tell him how he felt. When Kevin handed him the warm mug, Joey opened his mouth. “Pup, I…” Joey took a swallow of coffee before resuming. He then patted his knee. “I’ve got something I need to tell you.” Kevin hesitated. “Um, Joey, I’m sorry, but I can’t.” “Huh?” Joey was stunned, especially because Kevin had used his name, and not ‘sir.’ Kevin shifted uncomfortably. “I’ve been mulling it over this evening, and for my own sanity if you like, I’ve gotta say it. When I saw you all dressed up earlier this afternoon, I thought you were…” Kevin dropped his eyes to the carpet. “Well I thought that maybe you were gonna take me out somewhere.” He held up a hand to stop Joey from speaking. “I know I had absolutely no right to think that, even though I thought…” Kevin shuffled over to his bed and sat down, but still couldn’t look at Joey. “I thought that we were, we had been getting on okay. But when you just left me at the kerb and rode off, well,” Kevin swallowed, “it hurt.” Joey’s heart sank. “Like I said, I had no right to expect you to take me out or anything, but it just made me realise that I’m just not up to having the sort of friendship you want to have.” Joey didn’t respond.

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“It’s not your fault,” Kevin filled the silence. “It’s mine. Cal, he hurt me so bad, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust anyone like that ever again.” Joey found his voice. “But, I—” “I’m sorry,” Kevin interrupted. Lifting his face he bore his eyes right into Joey’s. “And if it comes down to it, I think you leaving me like that was for the best. I’m not strong enough for a relationship, especially if it's…” Kevin swallowed, his hands picked nervously at the blanket, “Especially if what you’re wanting from me is a fuck buddy.” Kevin’s head dropped to his chin. Joey felt like shit. “I’m usually not brave enough to speak up like this.” Kevin’s voice was so quiet Joey had to strain to hear it. “But I’ve got to because I’m so afraid. I’m scared that I’ll let you in, and then you’ll walk away, and that, well it’d kill me. I can’t, I just can’t go there.” Kevin pulled his knees up to his chest, rolled onto his side and began to rock himself. Joey felt panicked, he had to leave. Getting swiftly to his feet, he made for the door. All this shit was just way too heavy. Though when he touched the handle, he froze. What the fuck are you doing Joey Goldman? That bloke is exactly what you need, if only you’d open your fucking eyes. He knew then he’d have to bare his soul, reveal the things that most scared him. He’d never been open with anyone before, just in case they used it against him, but he had to speak up, he knew he’d regret it if he didn’t. Joey turned from the door and slowly walked towards the bed. Dropping to his knees, he reached out a hand and rubbed Kevin’s back. He could feel the smaller man’s body quivering, it broke his heart. “Pup.” Joey’s voice sounded hoarse. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I hurt you. I know what you said was hard for you. What I’m about to say isn’t easy for me either.” Joey took in a deep breath and launched himself into the unknown. “Pup, I’m fucking scared. I mean the feelings I have for you scare the crap out of me. I’ve never felt like this before about anyone. You, well, you’ve stolen my heart. Truth is I didn’t even think I had one to steal.” “That’s why I dropped you off and sped away. I needed to

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go for a long ride to clear my head. Then I planned on heading to the pub to pick someone up, go back to his place and fuck his brains out.” Joey felt Kevin stiffen under his touch. “I couldn’t go through with it. I kept seeing your face.” Joey had to pause, his mouth felt dry. “I know you’ve been hurt so bad by that bastard, and I can’t guarantee that I won’t ever hurt you, emotionally I mean. But one thing, I’ll never hurt you intentionally.” He could feel a bead of sweat running down his back. His heart was beating heavily in his chest; he could hear the blood pounding in his ears. He’d never spoken so openly of his feelings before. Hell, he’d never experienced such feelings. “I…” He swallowed and tried again. “if you’ll have me, I’m yours, I won’t go out looking for other men.” Joey’s knees were starting to ache. “I promise I’ll do my best to make you happy. Kevin, please let me in.” Kevin slowly unwound himself and cautiously looked up. Joey tried to put as much sincerity into his expression as he could. “You mean it?” Kevin asked so softly, Joey wasn’t sure he’d heard. Joey nodded. Kevin lifted up his arms. Joey sprang to his feet, picked Kevin up and wrapped him in a bear hug. “Thank you, Pup. I’ll be the best man, the best sir for you that I can.” Joey kissed Kevin all round his face, each kiss more passionate than its predecessor. Joey was rock hard, something he hadn’t managed to achieve with the twink in the toilets. Pulling back and drawing in a much-needed breath, Joey stared at Kevin, “Will you let me fu…um, make love to you?” Kevin shuddered. “Sorry, shouldn’t have asked. It’s too soon. But will you let me do everything else? Will you let me show you how much you mean to me?” Kevin nodded. He didn’t seem all that sure, but Joey would do his best to demonstrate how he felt. Joey laid a trail of kisses on Kevin’s neck, but the man’s T-shirt was starting to get in the way. Setting Kevin on his feet Joey began to pull at the offending garment. Kevin held his arms

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stiffly at his sides; it took Joey a few moments to comprehend Kevin’s reluctance. “I’ve seen you naked before, remember?” Speaking as softly and tenderly as he knew how, Joey continued, “Your scars don’t bother me. They’re what make you what you are.” Kevin managed a weak smile before lifting his arms. Joey pulled off the T-shirt and resumed his kissing and licking. He could tell the younger man was getting into it, because he began to return the favour by picking at Joey’s shirt buttons. Once he’d undone the last one, Kevin slid his arms between the shirt and Joey’s skin, caressing the older man’s flesh as he went. Joey’s dick was leaking into his leather trousers, but he did his best to ignore it. This was about his pup, not him. After laying Kevin on the bed, Joey knelt astride him and slid his tongue down Kevin’s smooth, hairless chest. He spent a couple of minutes laving the navel; this seemed to excite the smaller man, because he started to wriggle as well as letting out a series of satisfied moans. The next encumbrance was Kevin’s boxer shorts. Joey grasped the waistband but looked up at Kevin’s face for any negative reactions. Kevin lifted his bottom, allowing Joey to slide the shorts off more easily. A smile played across Joey’s lips when he caught sight of Kevin’s erection. He’d previously seen the thing soft, but it was now standing up true and proud. Joey thought it was perfect, Just like the rest of my pup, he thought. Deciding to leave Kevin’s dick until later, Joey went down on Kevin’s balls, licking and sucking them, pulling them one by one into his mouth. Joey’s hands were brought into play when he began to caress Kevin’s inner thighs. When Joey’s tongue moved to lick at Kevin’s perineum, he thought his lover would leap off the bed. It made Joey’s heart swell with pride that he was able to bring pleasure to a man who probably hadn’t often experienced it. Though he’d rarely performed oral sex on his bed partners, Joey had had it done to him enough times to know what felt good and what didn’t. Lifting Kevin’s legs, Joey dove for the now exposed brown

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rosebud. He didn’t think that bastard Cal had ever done this, so he determined to make it good. Kevin soon relaxed his sphincter muscle, allowing Joey to sink his tongue into the warm cavern as far as it would go. Joey continued to lick and suck for a couple more minutes until Kevin’s legs stiffened and he let out a scream. Joey was surprised that Kevin had shot so soon. Withdrawing his mouth from his partner’s moist anal lips, Joey saw a rope of pearly white semen on the man’s face. The next gob flew out and hit Kevin’s chest. A series of much weaker ejaculations followed, resulting in a miniature lake of come accumulating in the supine man’s navel. Joey couldn’t help the self-satisfied smirk on his face. Though his expression soon fell when Kevin began to shake, repeatedly saying that he was sorry. What the fuck had he to be sorry about? Joey wondered. “Pup?” he tentatively asked. “Did I hurt you?” Kevin shook his head and repeated the fact that he was sorry. “I don’t understand.” Joey rubbed Kevin’s thigh. It took Kevin a couple of moments to calm down sufficiently to answer. “I came without permission, please don’t hurt me.” He then curled himself into a protective ball. “Permission?” Joey was nonplussed for a few moments before the penny dropped. That fucking bastard, Cal! Battling to keep a lid on his temper, Joey spoke, “I’m not Cal. I wanted you to come, I don’t ever want to stop you from coming, so long as it’s me who’s making you do it.” Joey rubbed Kevin’s scarred back, hoping it would calm his friend. “I’m not Cal, Pup. Please remember, I’m not Cal.” The steadiness and reassurance in Joey’s voice must have gotten through, because eventually Kevin began to relax his posture. Looking pleadingly up at Joey, Kevin said, “Sorry, it’s just that Cal would get really angry and start hitting me whenever I came without his say so. So when you…” Kevin rubbed his nose with his hand. “…did what you did, I got scared.” “Don’t need to ever be scared with me.” Kevin didn’t reply. Joey knew it would take a lot of time

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and patience before Kevin would begin to trust him. Joey thought lightening the mood would help cheer his man up. “So, how’d I do? With the rimming I mean? Better than Cal?” Kevin let out a hollow laugh. “He never did anything like that to me. He’d just take his pleasure and wasn’t interested in mine.” Kevin’s words struck an all-too familiar note within Joey. He knew in the past so long as he got his own rocks off, he didn’t much care what happened to the other guy. Wishing he’d not brought up the subject Joey asked, “So why did you stay with him for as long as you did? I mean, it doesn’t seem to have been fair on you.” Kevin sighed. “I accepted my role in life a long time ago. I gave Cal my body, in return for his protection.” “Some protection,” Joey said, touching one of Kevin’s scars. “Yeah,” Kevin said sadly. “That was why I had to get out, but it wasn’t easy. I still loved him, despite what he did to me. If it hadn’t been for my friend Peter forcing me to see what Cal was really like, I’d probably still be with him, either that or in hospital.” Joey pulled Kevin into his arms. He just couldn’t understand why anyone would put up with physical abuse, but remembered he’d done so himself with his father. Kevin had a different personality to his. That was probably why he’d stuck it out with Cal, hoping if he gave Cal enough love, somehow it would change the dominant man’s behaviour. And why was Kevin still working at Parker’s where Cal worked? That couldn’t be easy, seeing that bastard every day. Still, Joey knew it wasn’t easy these days to find other jobs. “Sir?” Kevin spoke into Joey’s shoulder. Joey smiled. He’d obviously been reinstated. “Pup?” he whispered in Kevin’s ear before licking it, causing Kevin to squirm. “I think I’ve changed my mind.” “About?” “Us. Would you, um, would you make love to me?” Lifting Kevin’s head so they were face to face, Joey stared into the man’s liquid brown eyes. Using his free hand, Joey ran a finger down Kevin’s cheek. “You sure? Are you ready? It’s a big step.”

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“I know it is, but I wanna do it. I, well I need to. You know?” Joey nodded. His dick, which had softened during the past few moments, sprang back to attention. He continued to trace patterns on Kevin’s cheek. When his index finger came close to Kevin’s lips, the latter gently took the digit into his mouth and sucked it. Joey thought the gesture was very erotic, as well as giving him a sense of power. His emotions were so heightened, he knew he wouldn’t last more than a minute if he fucked, um, made love now. “I think I better wank myself off first, otherwise I’ll be firing too soon.” “Please, let me do it,” Kevin said, reaching for Joey’s leather trousers. Joey rolled onto his back to allow Kevin better access. “Yeah, get Joey Junior out of there. He wants you to play with him.” Giggling, Kevin pulled down the zipper. As usual Joey wasn’t wearing any underpants, so his dick sprang out, catching Kevin on the nose. “Wow, he packs quite a punch.” “You ain’t seen nothing yet, Pup,” Joey growled. Kevin giggled some more. True to his word, it didn’t take Joey long to reach climax. At the last moment Kevin dove down and sealed his lips over Joey’s spurting cock head, though a small amount of semen still managed to leak from the corners of his lips. Once Kevin pulled off, Joey scooped the errant fluid onto his index finger and fed it to his pup, who eagerly lapped it up. Joey thought he could get used to Kevin sucking on his fingers; he’d never considered it to be such a turn on before. Joey bent down and replaced his finger with his tongue. This man was stealing his heart. He’d been cold and shivering only a few moments earlier, but now he felt warm and snug. Joey didn’t think he’d ever felt happier. Withdrawing his tongue, Joey looked deeply into Kevin’s eyes. “I’m going to take you and claim you, make you mine. Okay?” The heartfelt words caused Kevin to blink rapidly. It only took Joey a few moments to remove his clothing,

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though as he did so, he kept shooting brief glances Kevin’s way. Picking up his leather jacket again, Joey pulled a condom and a couple of sachets of lube from one of its pockets. “Sir?” Kevin asked softly. For a brief moment, Joey thought Kevin had changed his mind. “Would you, um, would it be all right if you, um, put your jacket back on?” Kevin went a deep shade of red, the colour soon spreading over most of his body. “You kinky bugger.” A huge smile broke out on Joey’s face. This is your night, Pup, anything you want, you can have, Joey told himself. Kneeling on the bed, Joey looked down at Kevin, who seemed to have decided he wanted it in the missionary position. Normally Joey preferred his sex partners to be facing away, because he found it too distracting to look at their faces. Also if they faced away, they couldn’t kiss him easily. However, he was secretly glad Kevin wanted to make love face-to-face. As soon as he’d torn open one of the packets of lube, Kevin had his legs up in the air. Usually, Joey took as little time as possible in greasing up the other guy, but not this time. He spent over ten minutes inserting one, then two, and finally three fingers. All the while he kissed, caressed and generally did all he could to Kevin to make him feel good. Joey’s eyes hardly ever left his pup’s, watching for the least sign of pain. Fortunately Kevin soon accommodated the stretching digits, so Joey withdrew them, wiped his fingers and donned the waiting prophylactic. Pausing with his steely hard sex at Kevin’s opening, Joey asked, “You sure, Pup?” “Please, Sir, I need you so bad.” Summoning every ounce of restraint he possessed, Joey held back his urge to plunge into Kevin in one long thrust. Even though he took it slow, Kevin grimaced when Joey was halfway in. “You okay? I’ll stop for a minute.” Joey saw that Kevin had come out in a light sweat. As he knelt, poised half inside his partner, Joey leaned forward and wiped Kevin’s face with the

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corner of the sheet. “Okay now?” Joey asked. “Yes, Sir.” Joey resumed his inward journey, occasionally reversing direction. When Kevin moaned, Joey froze, fearful he was going too fast, despite all his efforts. “Oh, wow!” Kevin said, treating Joey to a smile. Joey was relieved; he smiled back, resuming his motions. Once fully inside, Joey leaned towards Kevin’s mouth and gave him a deep tongue-filled kiss. “You’re so tight. I love how you’re gripping my cock.” Kevin flexed his anal muscles, sending waves of pleasure coursing through Joey’s body. Sex had never felt so good, and he’d only just started. Determining to try and prolong things for as long as he could, Joey pulled almost completely out, then slowly sank back into Kevin’s depths. From the way Kevin was twitching, Joey wasn’t sure his bed partner would last long. Remembering the last time Kevin climaxed, Joey smiled down at his lover and said, “Come whenever you need to. Come for your sir.” Kevin’s twitching increased; Joey was soon rewarded by a second ejaculation. The volume wasn’t as great as Kevin’s first effort, but was still quite impressive. Maintaining his slow rhythm, and without missing a stroke, Joey scooped up some of Kevin’s nectar onto his fingers, and fed it to his lover. When he collected a second load, Joey decided to see what Kevin tasted like. He’d never sampled anyone else’s come; in fact he couldn’t recall what his own was like. Licking his fingers, Joey ingested a small quantity of the bland, slightly bleachy viscous fluid. It was okay, but he didn’t think he would ever become addicted to the stuff. Deciding to pick up the pace, Joey pumped a little harder, but he knew he was still some way off climaxing. “Oh, God, Sir.” Kevin waved his head from side-to-side. Joey was amazed that because he was concentrating more on giving pleasure to his partner, rather than just taking it

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for himself, he was being rewarded with a much higher level of ecstasy. “You okay, Pup? Want me to go any faster?” Kevin let out a lusty groan. “Please, Sir, please fuck another load out of me.” Eager to comply, Joey stepped up another gear. Sweat was beginning to form on his chest; he could feel it running down the inside of his leather jacket. It wasn’t the most practical of garments to make love in, but Joey knew it was adding to his pup’s pleasure, so he put aside his own discomfort and carried on pumping. The bed was starting to creak loudly. Joey grinned inwardly at the thought of Kevin’s neighbours being treated to a real show. Feeling Kevin’s anal muscles tightening, Joey urged his lover on. “Come, come for me, Pup.” Arching his back, Kevin let out a high pitched squeak before pumping out a thin stream of ejaculate. Joey was unconcerned at the diminished quantity, because it was obvious Kevin had derived just as much pleasure from this third climax as he had from either of the other two. However, he experienced momentary panic at how limp and unresponsive his partner’s body had become. Pausing his thrusts, ready to withdraw, Joey noticed Kevin’s eyes winking open, a blissful and far away expression growing on his face. “You okay?” “Uh,” Kevin said dazedly, “blacked out for a minute, but I think I’m all right.” Joey smiled. “Can’t come again, Sir. I think you’ve fucked it all out of me.” Joey grinned. He was determined to get one more load out of his pup before he finished. “We’ll see about that.” Kevin groaned. Shifting position, Joey moved into top gear, thrusting his lance into Kevin’s now loose hole. “Grip me, Pup, help me to shoot!” Taking hold of Kevin’s flagging penis, Joey soon flogged it back to its former stiffness. His final few thrusts caused the headboard to pound against the wall. Three things happened

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almost simultaneously. A small framed picture dropped from its hook just to the right of Kevin’s bed, falling to the floor, the glass shattering. Kevin climaxed for a fourth time, and with an almighty roar—which probably woke any neighbour who had managed to sleep through all the previous sounds of lovemaking—Joey climaxed. “Fuck!” Joey said, descending to his elbows above Kevin. Pulling Joey’s face towards him, Kevin delivered a soft kiss to Joey’s lips. “Thank you, Sir.” “Was I good, or was I good?” Joey asked, a cheeky smile playing on his lips. “Um,” Kevin paused before his face betrayed his true emotions by breaking out into a broad smile. “You were the best.” Knowing he couldn’t maintain his position for much longer, Joey rolled to the side, and almost fell out of the narrow bed. Pulling Kevin onto his chest, Joey lay still, catching his breath. Kevin moved his face to Joey’s chest, and began to lick up the sweat. The feel of Kevin’s tongue on his nipples caused Joey Junior to show signs of life again. Lifting Kevin’s head, Joey said, “Much as I love what you’re doing, you’ll have to stop, I’m knackered, and I can’t go another round just yet.” Kevin rested his head on Joey’s shoulder; the latter began to lazily stroke Kevin’s rich head of hair. Joey felt so at peace with the world. Normally at this point he’d be itching to get rid of the man in his bed, or if he were in someone else’s, he’d be reaching for his clothes to make a swift exit. But here, with Kevin in his arms, Joey felt he could remain just as he was forever. Joey was forced to revise his opinion a couple of moments later however, when his bladder began to send signals that it needed to be emptied. He was also smelling a little ripe. A quick look at Kevin confirmed that he too was in need of a shower, there were innumerable dried come stains on the man’s chest and belly. “Come on, time for a wash,” Joey announced just before hoisting Kevin off of his chest and up into his arms. “Where’s your toilet things?”

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Kevin told him, so he made his way over to the indicated cupboard, Kevin still in his arms. Leaning forward, Kevin pulled out a couple of towels, a face cloth and a bar of soap. Joey then made for the door. “But I’m naked!” Kevin protested. “I’m not,” Joey said, standing by the closed door, waiting for Kevin to open it. The only clothing Joey was wearing was his leather jacket. Before he reached for the lock, Kevin strategically placed the towels in front of his private parts. “Wuss.” Much to Joey’s disgust, the water wasn’t very warm. “It’s late, the water heater will have been switched off,” Kevin lamented. The pair showered quickly, Joey insisting sir had the right to wash his pup if he wanted to. Kevin didn’t protest. Exiting the bathroom, clad in their towels, the pair received a strange look from one of the other male residents. Kevin turned a deep shade of red and scuttled towards his door. Joey, however, was far more laid back. “Nice night for it.” He held his hand out to shake, the shocked man taking it. Joey’s towel unknotted and fell to the floor. The guy, whom Joey estimated to be in his late fifties, couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from Joey’s exposed crotch. Unconcerned by his nakedness, Joey kept up a conversation with the man, though it would be safe to say the other guy contributed little. As he was starting to feel cold, Joey languorously bent to retrieve his towel, giving the guy an extended view of his arse. “Bit of a chill in the air, wouldn’t you say?” “Um, yeah,” the guy said. “Time I should be making a move. Nice speaking to you.” Joey held out his hand again. “Uh, yeah, you, too.” Joey found Kevin sitting in his chair, his towel wrapped around him. “God, I’d never have the balls to do that. You realise that was old Battersby? He’s always slinking around the place.”

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“Thought I’d give him something to see. He’s probably gone back to his room to beat himself off.” Kevin grinned. “I’ve always said, if you’ve got it, flaunt it.” Kevin rose to his feet and walked over to hug his man. “And my sir has certainly got it.” “And it’s all for you, Pup.” Joey yawned. It had been a long day. “Mind if I stay the night?” Joey thought Kevin would burst with happiness. He wanted to stay but thought he’d give Kevin the option, not wanting to move too quickly and spook the younger man. Kevin pulled off Joey’s towel as well as his own, before pressing himself against Joey. “You bet.” The bed wasn’t designed to sleep two, but they managed. Joey laid on his back, with most of Kevin’s body on the mattress next to him, his head on Joey’s shoulder. They talked quietly for a while, all the time Joey softly stroking Kevin’s hair. It seemed to calm the rather excited younger man. It had a similar effect on Joey, too.

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Chapter 3 It took Kevin a few moments to work out why there was someone else in bed with him. When he remembered, his eyes shot open and he lifted his head from its most comfortable pillow of Joey’s broad shoulder, to behold the most amazing sight he’d seen in years. Joey lay on his back, his right arm loosely but nonetheless protectively wrapped round Kevin’s slight form. Kevin swallowed as he took in Joey’s rugged good looks, illuminated as they were by the light that came in through the gaps in his ill-fitting curtains. There was a small pool of spittle on Joey’s upper chest. Reaching to his face, Kevin realised to his shame it was from him. The duvet had been pushed down sometime in the night, exposing Joey’s defined chest. Even at rest, Joey’s torso was impressive. Kevin’s eyes swept upwards to take in Joey’s thick neck, then up to a firm, square jaw, and that face. Joey was, well, awesome. Kevin knew from consulting the records at the haulage firm that his bedmate was 35 years of age, but he looked a few years younger. Tentatively reaching out a finger, Kevin touched Joey’s stubbled cheek. If the furriness of the rest of the man’s body was anything to go by, he’d have to shave twice a day in order to stay smooth. But despite Joey’s rugged appearance, there was a certain gentleness in that face, something Kevin suspected Joey tried to hide, it not fitting well with his macho image. The closed eyelids hid a pair of penetrating green eyes. Whenever Joey stared directly at Kevin, the smaller man found himself held captive, unable to move his limbs or break the stare. Next on Kevin’s tour of masculine perfection came Joey’s thin, but seemingly perfect eyebrows, the odd fleck of grey enhancing rather than taking away from the man’s overall appearance. Last, but by no means least, came Joey’s head of closely cropped black hair. Lifting his hand, Kevin allowed the soft but still firm strands to pass under his fingertips, the sensation giving him a powerful erection. He wondered if Joey used any special

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shampoo to make his hair feel so beautifully glossy and silky smooth. Was beautiful the right word to describe Joey? Somehow it seemed too feminine. But handsome didn’t seem to fit, either. Joey was, well Joey was just about perfect. Kevin sighed, sadly. Despite what he’d been told the previous evening, Kevin was under no illusions as to his own plainness. He could never hope to compete with his lightly snoring bed-mate in the looks department. Kevin’s mood lifted a little when he recalled the mixture of strength and gentleness Joey had shown him only a few short hours earlier. It was obvious Joey liked sex and was very good at it, having had plenty of opportunity to hone his skill. Kevin shuddered. Had all of Joey’s words of reassurance merely been a ploy to get into his trousers? That had to be it, Kevin couldn’t offer this man—this god—anything. He was damaged, scarred, and not worth Joey’s time. A sob issued from Kevin’s throat before he could prevent it from escaping. Deciding he’d better absorb all the love and warmth he could while it was still on offer, Kevin snuggled back down and pressed himself against Joey’s bulk. He tried to take as many mental snapshots as possible, knowing he could replay them when he was alone and feeling unloved. He knew that as soon as Joey woke up, he’d make some lame excuse to leave, and Kevin would never see him again outside of work. It wasn’t fair, Kevin knew if he was just given the chance to serve someone, maybe a person not as awesome as Joey, then he’d devote his life to that man, leaving him in no doubt he was loved. Kevin’s body was wracked with despair. “Pup?” Joey’s eyes blinked open, Kevin turned his tear-streaked face away so he wouldn’t betray his misery. Joey’s left hand tilted Kevin’s head so the two were faceto-face. “Why are you crying?” he asked, his voice scratchy from sleep. “Sorry, Sir, it’s nothing.” “Nothing wouldn’t have made you cry like that.” Joey pulled Kevin’s face towards his own, and stuck his tongue out to

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lick up the tears. This only served to heighten Kevin’s distress, he couldn’t cope with Joey being so kind and gentle with him, because he knew now Joey was awake, he’d be withdrawing it all and heading home just as soon as he could. “Hey, hey. What’s the matter? I didn’t hurt you, um, last night, did I?” Kevin shook his head. “So, why all the tears, then?” Joey asked, starting to rub Kevin’s spine. It felt so calming, he didn’t want it to ever end. “Pup?” “I was just being silly,“ Kevin sniffed. “Take no notice of me, I get like this sometimes.” Biting the bullet, he continued, “I suppose you’ll be wanting to get up and do whatever it is you need to be doing. There’ll be plenty of hot water if you want a shower before you go.” Kevin knew he had to hold it together for a few more minutes, then he’d be able to give into his emotions. “I’d offer to make you breakfast, but I don’t have much in. But as I said, you’ll probably need to…” A finger placed on his lips silenced him. “So that’s it, you thought that now I’ve had my wicked way with you, I’d haul my arse out of here?” Kevin didn’t reply, he couldn’t, he didn’t want Joey to confirm his worst fears. “Oh, Pup,” Joey sighed. “Normally, yeah, that’s what I’d be doing right about now.” Kevin made to get out of Joey’s embrace, but the bigger man held him firm. “I said normally, but do you remember what I said last night?” Kevin nodded, still not daring to trust his voice. “Look at me, Pup.” Joey lifted Kevin’s chin. “I meant everything I said. I don’t want this to have been a cheap one night thing, unless that’s what you want?” “No, never!” Kevin said with a touch more firmness than he’d intended. “Good. I don’t know where we’re headed, but, “ Joey swallowed, “there’s just something about you which I want to get to know better, I’ve never met another bloke as great as you.” Kevin felt himself blush. “I’m nothing special.”

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“Cut the crap, you’re a fantastic little bloke.” Joey treated Kevin to one of his broadest smiles; it warmed Kevin’s insides, causing him to shudder slightly. “I don’t mind telling you that I’ve never felt the same about anyone else, ever. So it’s all really new for me, so I’ll need you to help me to adjust, will you do that?” “Yes, Sir, I will,” Kevin said quietly, finding it hard to believe that Joey wasn’t going to cut and run. “Now we’ve sorted all that out, where’s my morning kiss?” Joey pulled Kevin on top of him, his lips seeking out those of his smaller lover. Kevin soon felt Joey’s tongue demanding admittance; he opened up willingly. Joey seemed to consume him. The kiss wasn’t overly passionate, nor was it tender and chaste. Kevin didn’t know how to describe it, other than it just felt so right for the occasion. It seemed to calm him, excite him, heal him, and confirm Joey’s feelings for him. Pulling away, Joey treated Kevin to another broad smile. “Much as I would love to stay here all day, I do need to get moving.” Kevin tried not to show his disappointment. Though he was soon distracted when Joey’s tongue licked the tip of his nose. “And my pup’s coming out with me. Now come on, shift, I need to piss.” Kevin complied, Joey got out of the bed, avoiding the shards of broken glass from the picture frame that had fallen off the wall the previous night. Kevin made a mental note to sweep up; he hated mess. Throwing a towel over his shoulder, Joey then picked up a bar of soap and made for the door, unlocking it before calmly strolling into the hallway. Kevin watched the two naked arse cheeks swaying sexily before disappearing from view. God, I could never walk around the place with nothing on. Still as he said, ‘if you’ve got it, flaunt it.’ As he made to get out of bed, Kevin felt a pain stab through him, coming from his rear, forcing him into momentary immobility. “Christ, he’s certainly got it,” Kevin said through clenched

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teeth. “And boy did he give it to me last night.” Picking his way gingerly across the room, Kevin made for his chest of drawers and pulled out a pair of underpants, the pain in his rear mercifully receding. **** “Think this cucumber will be big enough?” Joey growled in Kevin’s ear, as he rubbed the vegetable along Kevin’s arse-crack. Kevin went a deep shade of red. Joey smiled; he hadn’t had as much fun doing the shopping in ages. After he’d showered, Joey re-dressed in his clothes, which were a bit wrinkled, then he’d supervised what Kevin was going to wear. The guy had little or no fashion sense; Joey knew he’d have to take his pup clothes shopping one day soon. Then, as his stomach was beginning to think that his throat was cut, he’d whisked Kevin off to his favourite café for a full English fry up. Kevin had protested he couldn’t eat all Joey had ordered for him. “Get it down your neck, you’re all skin and bone.” “You sound just like your mother,” Kevin had said with a giggle. Joey had been about to box his dining companion’s ears, but remembered at the last second, and diverted his raised hand towards the teapot and topped up Kevin’s cup instead. “Thank you,” Kevin had said under his breath. “I’m not Cal.” Kevin had nodded. “It’ll take me time, you know?” Once he’d put the teapot back on its coaster, Joey had given Kevin’s hand a brief squeeze. “I know.” “Sir?” Kevin’s puzzled face brought Joey out of his daydream. “Sorry. Miles away. I think we better buy this cucumber, we wouldn’t want anyone else to get their mouth around something that’s been next to my pup’s arse, would we?” “Um, no, Sir.”

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The two continued to shop, Kevin not putting much in the trolley, Joey insisting he stock up. “I, well, I don’t have much money on me,” Kevin said, staring at a scuff mark on the tiled floor. Joey could have kicked himself. Obviously the little guy didn’t earn all that much, nor did he seem to eat enough to keep a sparrow alive. “Sor-right, Pup, I’m getting all this.” “But…” Joey held up a hand. “You belong to me now. I’m gonna make sure you eat properly, so you stay healthy and strong. You’re my responsibility, and I take that very seriously, okay?” “Yes, Sir, thank you.” Kevin still didn’t lift his eyes. Joey sighed, “Things are gonna change around here.” He put an arm around Kevin’s waist and gave him a squeeze. “You need looking after, and your owner is going to do it.” Joey felt a bit weird labelling himself as Kevin’s owner, but somehow it seemed to fit. Judging by the wide smile that Kevin sported, he didn’t seem to have any objection to the title. “Meat, gotta feed my pup plenty of meat,” Joey said once they’d arrived in the butchery aisle. “Sir?” “Haven’t we just been through this?” Joey said testily, Kevin was overdoing the deference bit. Kevin visibly shrank, causing Joey to regret his words. Gotta treat him with kid gloves. “Sorry for snapping, Pup, but I wanna do this, and I’m going to do it, okay?” “Yes, Sir, it isn’t that. Um, I only have a small fridge and no freezer, that’s what I was going to say,” Kevin told the floor. Shit! Joey further chastised himself. “Okay, we won’t get much then. Thanks, Pup, and again I’m sorry. You forgive me?” Kevin lifted his head and treated Joey to a shy grin. “Always.” Joey wanted to scoop the man up into his arms and lay the biggest, wettest kiss on his lips, but common sense intervened, he contented himself with a brief sideways hug. Once the food shopping was out of the way, Joey spotted the home-wares department. “Towels! Those things you’ve got

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are useless. You need some new ones.” “If you say so, Sir.” Pushing the trolley in a determined fashion, Joey made his way to the bewildering array of towelling material. Kevin was forced to break out into a slight jog in order to keep up. “Fuck, who’d have thought there’d be so many to choose from? What colour do you want?” “Um, a dark colour I think.” “Yeah, that’d be best, won’t show the dirt. Now which size?” “Can I help?” Joey turned on his heel to see a middle-aged shop assistant, her blonde hair tightly pulled into a ponytail. “Yes, Diana,” he said, glancing at the woman’s name tag. “He needs new towels.” Pointing at Kevin. “I see. Hand, bath, or beach?” “Shower,” Joey said, once he realised Kevin wasn’t going to reply. The woman giggled and put on a maternal air towards Kevin. Joey wouldn’t have been surprised if Diana wasn’t about to pull Kevin’s head into her generous bosom and smother him in affection. He wondered if Kevin often brought out the mothering instinct in older women, maybe part of his attraction to the guy lay in the fact that he wanted to protect him. Joey would have to give that more thought. Looking over at Kevin’s face, Joey saw his pup had a deer caught in the headlamps look about him. Joey couldn’t help smiling. “I think you ought to get bath sheets. We have them in two sizes.” She rifled through the display, until she found what she was looking for. “There’s this one, and,” repeating her actions, “this one, too. As you can see, this second one is a bit larger.” “Right,” Kevin said. “This brown really matches your eyes,” she said, looking into Kevin’s face. He went red and began to scrutinise the floor again. Joey didn’t think he could hold in his laughter for much longer. “Thanks, I’ll take a couple of the smaller size,” Kevin almost whispered.

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“Okay, but we’ve got a special promotion on the larger ones. Well actually it finished last week, but I could have them scanned through at the sale price for you.” “Th-th-thanks.” After picking out another large bath sheet, the shop assistant spent a couple of minutes explaining how the towels should be washed before they were first used. “Okay, thanks,” Joey said, taking hold of the towels and putting them in the trolley before wheeling it down the aisle. Once they were out of the woman’s hearing, he said, “I think you brought out her mothering instincts back there. It was kind of cute.” Kevin pulled a face, which caused Joey to chuckle. “That sort of thing happen often to you?” “Yeah, sometimes.” Kevin began to fidget; Joey could tell the man was uncomfortable with the topic, so he decided to drop it. Spying the pharmacy department ahead of them, Joey made a beeline for it. “Gotta pick something up in there. You’ve been walking funny this morning,” Joey said rather than asked. “Uh?” “Pup, if you’re in pain, I wanna know about it. Is it your ankle or because of last night?” Kevin’s face began to redden. “Well, um, kinda both.” Stopping walking and putting his hands on Kevin’s shoulders, so he couldn’t turn away, Joey fixed his man with one of his more penetrating stares. “Why didn’t you say anything? I don’t like that you’re in pain.” “Apart from my ankle, everything else isn’t a bad sort of pain.” Last night was…” Kevin’s cheeks were growing redder by the second. Almost whispering, he said, “It was fantastic, you’re fantastic.” Joey smiled. “But this doesn’t get away from the fact that you were in pain and you haven’t told me. I’m angry with you about that.” Joey felt Kevin shiver. “S-s-sorry, Sir.” In a softer tone, hoping to lessen Kevin’s distress, Joey asked, “Will you promise not to hide anything like that from me in

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the future?” “I promise, Sir.” “Good.” Joey patted Kevin’s shoulder, then marched straight up to the pharmacy counter, and despite there being other customers around, asked, “What have you got in the way of suppositories? I need one with a pain killer in it.” “Is it for haemorrhoids?” the young assistant asked. Joey was going to answer ‘No’, but felt Kevin stiffen next to him. “Uh, yeah.” “Are they bleeding?” Joey felt Kevin fidget. “No.” The woman asked a couple more questions about possible interactions with other drugs, Joey was fairly certain Kevin wasn’t on any other medication, so told the white coated woman he wasn’t on anything else. Kevin’s embarrassment wasn’t at an end however. Up until that point the assistant could have believed the suppositories were going to be used for the treatment of piles, but when Joey confidently picked out a bottle of massage oil, a large tube of lubricant and a box of magnum condoms, their could be little doubt that the woman behind the counter knew exactly what was going on. But Joey was oblivious, or rather he didn’t care. “You should ensure that the massage oil doesn’t come into contact with a condom, as it’ll severely weaken the latex,” the pharmacy assistant told him. “Yes, I know,” Joey said, putting the items in his trolley. Joey then asked about ankle supports. Kevin didn’t think he needed one, and said as much, but Joey wasn’t listening. Their shopping finally completed, the two made for the checkouts. Kevin let out a sigh of relief, which caused Joey to grin. Yes, he’d really enjoyed this shopping trip. **** Walking the short distance back to Kevin’s place, his pup wearing his new ankle support, Joey noticed Kevin shivering.

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“You cold?” “Yes, Sir,” he said through chattering teeth. “Why didn’t you put on a warmer coat, then?” “Uh, forgot.” Joey was getting used to being able to tell when Kevin wasn’t telling the truth, but why would he lie over something like that? “Do you have a thick winter jacket? I know the other day when I saw you at Parker’s, you weren’t wearing anything waterproof.” “No, Sir.” “No to not having a warm coat, or no, you don’t have a waterproof?” “Um, both, sorry.” “Why?” “Well, um, dunno. I guess I should get one, it’s October and I suppose it’ll be getting even colder.” “Pup, please answer me honestly. Is it because you can’t afford one?” Joey asked, putting as much concern into his voice as he could. “No, not really. I could pick one up at a factory outlet shop or something, they’ve got one quite near work.” “So, why haven’t you?” Kevin didn’t reply. Joey was about to get angry, but remembering Kevin’s nervous state, thought better of it. “We’ll talk about this some more, when we get you home. I’m not going to have you cold, okay?” “Okay, Sir.” As the pair approached a road junction, Joey’s attention was drawn to a pick up truck on the opposite side of the road, waiting for the traffic lights to change. The driver’s right elbow rested on the open window. He was wearing a cowboy hat and was decked out in a checked western shirt, bandana tied round his neck, head tilted back as he loudly sang about having lots of wide-open land on which to roam. “Looks like he’s enjoying himself,” Joey commented with wry amusement. “Cole Porter.”

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“Huh? It says Grover’s Equine Supplies on the truck.” “No, stupid, I meant the music. Oh, Sir, no! I’m sorry!” Kevin shrank away, a horrified expression on his face. “Sor-right.” Joey dropped one of his shopping bags, and reached an arm out to stop Kevin from fleeing. “I promise it’s all right.” Kevin lost some of the fear from his eyes. “But I’ll have to punish you for being disrespectful to your owner.” Joey went on quickly, “But remember I’m not Cal, I won’t beat you. You understand?” “Y-y-yes, Sir. I’m so sorry, Sir.” “I know you are. I’m going to ask you to trust me on this. I know trust is something you have difficulty with, but I’m going to show you that you can trust me. It’s important if I’m going to be your owner.” “Yes, Sir.” The lights changed, allowing the traffic, along with the singing cowboy, to move off. Kevin, however, remained downbeat for the remainder of the walk home. Joey wanted to comfort Kevin. His heart ached for the misery the little guy was going through, but he knew he had to demonstrate that he could be trusted, Kevin would benefit from the knowledge in the long run. Though he’d only studied psychology at a basic level, Joey knew submissive people like Kevin felt safest if they had definite boundaries. “Okay, you put away the meat, and the other things that need to go into the fridge. You can leave the rest till later,” Joey said, once they’d entered Kevin’s bed-sit. “Yes, Sir.” Kevin’s voice was quiet. He was beginning to shake. Joey sat himself in the armchair and watched Kevin work. He was sure the little guy was dragging it out. “Come here, Pup.” Joey said once Kevin finished his task. The smaller man approached cautiously. When he was directly in front of Joey, the larger man reached out for Kevin’s hands and held them firmly, and he hoped reassuringly. “I’ve decided your punishment.”

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Kevin’s eyes fell to the floor, and he began to shake. “I said I would never beat you. You didn’t believe me, did you?” Kevin swallowed before replying, “No, Sir.” “Well, let this be a lesson to you. I always mean what I say. I think when you come to realise that, you’ll feel happier.” Kevin nodded. “Your punishment will be a ten minute tickle.” Kevin’s head shot up, obviously he wasn’t expecting that. “A tickle, Sir?” “You might enjoy it at first, but I’m going to be ruthless, and by the end, you might not think it was so enjoyable. But it won’t cause you pain or leave you with any scars. “ Kevin dropped to his knees, scooted forward and gripped Joey round the waist. The seated man felt and heard Kevin crying. “There, there. Let it all out.” Reaching forward, Joey began to gently stroke Kevin’s back. No, there was absolutely no way he could inflict any further pain on this already abused man. Kevin needed love and security. Joey hoped he was up to the task of providing it. Kevin’s soft sobs gradually diminished, when he lifted up his face, Joey tenderly rubbed the remaining tears away with his thumbs. “Ready now?” “Yes, Sir.” “Okay, strip.” Kevin was hesitant, but Joey remained patient. He knew the man had major trust issues. When Kevin was naked—apart from the ankle support Joey insisted Kevin keep on—he stood between Joey’s spread legs. “You need to piss before we start? I don’t want you having an accident.” “Uh, yeah.” Kevin reached for his clothes. “Oh, no, you don’t. You can walk across the hall as you are.” “But, Sir!” Joey shook his head.

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“Please, Sir, I can’t.” Joey stood up, his height advantage allowing him to look down at the shorter man. “Pup, you can and you will. I want to teach you that you shouldn’t be ashamed of your body. It’s only a couple of strides, chances are, nobody will even see you.” Walking to the door, Joey flung it open and pushed Kevin out. Kevin almost ran for the bathroom, which fortunately for him was unoccupied. After taking a quick glance up and down the hallway, Joey satisfied himself nobody had witnessed Kevin’s small act of exhibitionism. Secretly he was glad, because he honestly didn’t want to cause too much embarrassment to his charge. Thinking he’d have a couple of minutes before Kevin came back, Joey set about arranging the small room. This chiefly consisted of spreading out one of the new bath towels on top of the quilt cover, Joey realised he should have bought Kevin some new bedding as well. Kevin ran back into the room, much sooner than Joey expected. “Whoa, where’s the fire?” “I almost got caught,” Kevin said, breathlessly. “But you didn’t. That’s the main thing.” “Yeah, guess so.” Joey took his smaller friend into his arms. “I made you do something which I knew you didn’t like. It was part of your punishment. But,” Joey touched Kevin’s nose with an index finger. “I gave you a task which didn’t put you in danger. I left the door open, so you could get back in, and I could also listen out for any sign of trouble.” Kevin looked up into Joey’s face, an expression of wonder on it. “You’d have helped me out if there’d been any?” “Course I would. You’re my pup, my responsibility. It’s my job to look after you.” Kevin buried his head into Joey’s chest, Joey thought the smaller man was going to start crying again, but he didn’t. “No one’s ever wanted to look after me before.” Kevin’s words came out muffled, as they were spoken into Joey’s now very wrinkled silk shirt.

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“Well, you have now. However, it’s tickle time!” Joey dug his fingers into Kevin’s ribs. The latter convulsed, opened his mouth and laughed uproariously. “Stop wriggling.” “Can’t help it, Sir,” Kevin got out through his gales of laughter. “Okay, I’ll have to put you on the bed, then.” So saying, Joey effortlessly picked Kevin up under his arms, slung him over his shoulder, and walked the few steps to the bed. He then dropped his shoulder, caught Kevin, and gently laid him face up on top of the towel. This last would be needed to protect the bed sheets when Joey gave Kevin his reward. Climbing onto the bed, Joey straddled Kevin’s hips. He then reached up and placed Kevin’s arms at his sides, wedging them in place with his knees. “Now the fun begins!” Joey said in a mock threatening voice. “Oh, be gentle with me, Sir,” Kevin said, doing his best Olive Oyl impression. “No way! This is your punishment for being a naughty puppy when he was on his walk.” The next ten minutes passed rather quickly for Joey, though he was pretty certain Kevin wouldn’t have said the same. Joey found out Kevin had many ticklish zones, not least the sides of his ribs, his neck, and his inner thighs. But without doubt, Kevin was most ticklish on the soles of his feet. They’d barely started when, through his laughter, Kevin begged his owner to stop. Joey was in two minds, but as he knew Kevin wasn’t being physically harmed, he continued. Joey also needed to press home the point that when he said ten minutes, he meant ten minutes. Kevin wouldn’t respect him half as much if he could be swayed too easily. “Okay, okay,” Joey said after looking over at Kevin’s bedside clock. He’d actually gone a couple of minutes over, but that was his right as Kevin’s owner. Kevin’s laughter—as well as his convulsions—lessened fairly quickly, though he kept twitching occasionally, as well as letting out the odd giggle. Smiling down at his red and tear-

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streaked pup, Joey asked, “You enjoy that?” “Um, at first.” “Aww, I enjoyed all of it, in fact.” Joey reached out to touch Kevin’s side. “No! You promised.” Widening his grin, Joey said, “And I stick to my promises.” He then leaned forward and kissed Kevin passionately on the lips. Kevin soon opened his mouth and allowed Joey’s tongue inside. Pulling back, gasping at how wonderful it was to be so intimate with his little friend, Joey said, “And I also promised myself that if you’d been a good boy, I’d give you a reward.” “A reward?” Kevin smiled. “How’d you like a full body massage? It’ll also give me a chance to check out your arse.” Kevin giggled. “No, you horny pup, I meant check it out to see if it’s red or something.” “It’s still a bit painful.” “I’m still disappointed in you. It’s very important I be told when something’s wrong, so I can fix it if I can.” “I know, I’m sorry.” Kevin’s happy expression evaporated. “It’s just,” he swallowed, “It’s just I never had anyone who’d take care of me before.” “You do now. You got that?” Kevin nodded. “Yes, Sir.” Joey lowered his head and vacuumed Kevin’s tongue out of his mouth and into his own. The kiss was interrupted by Joey’s mobile phone ringing. “Fuck!” he said, getting off the bed. He felt like ignoring it, but if it was his mother, he’d never hear the end of it. Looking at the display, Joey sighed. It was his mother. “Hello Ma.” “Joey, where are you?” “I’m at a—” “I’m at your uncle Jacob’s, I’ve been here for the past hour. You promised you’d put those shelves up.”

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Shit! He’d forgotten all about it, and he hadn’t promised any such thing, he’d been press-ganged into doing it by his mother. “I’m kind of busy at the minute, Ma. I could—” “Joey,” Her voice took on that tone, the one he dreaded hearing. His heart sank; there was no room for negotiation when she used that voice. “Uncle Jacob is family.” He just knew she’d pull the family card. Looking over at Kevin, lying nude and inviting on the bed, Joey cursed inwardly, but he knew he couldn’t stay. “Okay, Ma, I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” Joey knew he’d have to change before going to his uncle’s, goodness knows what his mother would say if he turned up in leather. He also had to pick up his power tools as well. “You’re a good boy, Joey. I told Jacob you wouldn’t let him down—” “Yeah, yeah. Okay Ma, bye.” Joey flipped his phone shut, cutting his mother off in mid-sentence. Turning to Kevin, Joey told him why he had to leave. “It could take a few hours. Once I’m there, they’ll no doubt find loads of other jobs for me to do.” “I understand,” Kevin said sadly. “I’m gonna come back. Can’t leave my pup on his own. We’ll go back to my place, that bed of yours is too small.” Kevin’s smile returned. Putting on his jacket, Joey said, “I’ll pick up a take away or something, so make sure you’re hungry.” Joey bent down and kissed Kevin’s lips, “And I don’t just mean for food.” Kevin giggled. Joey reached into the side pocket of his jacket and pulled out the suppositories. “Here, you’ll need these.” He tossed them towards Kevin, who got up to show his man out. “Whoa, careful, you’re naked,” Joey said, grinning. “That’s okay.” Kevin’s expression changed as he approached. “Sir?” “Yeah?” Joey paused, his hand on the doorknob. “Thank you. Thank you for today and everything.” “That’s okay.” “Sir, I’ve gotta tell you, I,” his voice cracked. “I love you. I

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love you with my whole heart.” Joey was stunned, he felt his mouth open and close a couple of times, but nothing came out. The silence in the room was deafening. Kevin’s face began to fall. “Um, you better get off to your, um, uncle’s.” Kevin said as he reached round Joey, opened the door, and pushed the larger man into the hallway. “I’ll be,” Kevin swallowed, “I’ll be here when you get back.” Joey stood in the hallway as the door closed in front of him. It took him a couple of moments to summon up the sense to start moving. As he walked along the passageway, down the stairs and out into the street, he kept chastising himself for not speaking up. Why the fuck didn’t I say anything? He knew he loved Kevin, even though he’d only really gotten to know him properly for a couple of days, he couldn’t imagine his life without him now. “Fuck!” Joey kicked at the rear tire of his bike before he climbed on, started the motor and roared off. **** “Why did I say it? Why couldn’t I have just kept my big trap shut?” Kevin despaired as he flopped onto his bed. Things had been going so well, so perfectly and he went and ruined it. The look of surprise, was it horror, on Joey’s face? Kevin didn’t think he’d ever be able to forget it. Once his heart rate had returned to normal, Kevin tried to analyse the situation. Joey might merely have been surprised and not totally freaked out. Surely he must know how I feel about him, Kevin mused. He can’t expect me not to love him when he’s been so great with me. Kevin attempted to convince himself that all was not lost, but it wasn’t easy. As he lay there, he felt something digging into his back. Reaching under himself, Kevin pulled out the box of suppositories. He decided he ought to use one, just in case Joey came back, he’d be angry if he found out they hadn’t been opened.

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After reading the instructions, Kevin unhooked his trousers and pulled them—along with his briefs—down to his ankles. Peeling back the protective coating on one of the bullets, Kevin twisted round to try and insert it. Just as it touched the rim of his arse, the phone began ringing. “Damn!” Kevin was faced with a dilemma. It might be Joey, he didn’t remember giving out his number, but Joey could have read it from the phone. Did he want to speak to him if it was? Deciding he better answer it, Kevin shuffled over to the instrument and picked it up. “Hello?” “Hi, mate,” Peter said. “How you doing?” “Okay.” “You heard from that new bloke of yours?” “Yes.” Kevin didn’t want to go into detail, just in case he’d screwed his chances. “You don’t sound that sure.” “Oh, well, no, I suppose I’m not. As you said, it’s early days.” “Exactly. What’s he like?” Peter seemed to be settling in for a long chat. Kevin stared at the suppository in his other hand, the warmth from his fingers beginning to soften it. “He’s tall, black-haired, strong and, um, well-built.” Kevin knew he was sounding wistful. “Oh,” Peter said, a note of disapproval in his voice. “I don’t know why you always seem to be attracted to the dominant types.” Peter continued to drone on, Kevin only half-listening. The rest of his attention was focused on the melting suppository, not sure what to do with it. He tried walking over to the pedal bin to throw it away, but the phone lead wouldn’t reach. Kevin didn’t want to put the thing on the table; after all it had been in contact with his arse. There was no other alternative; it would have to be inserted. “…and after Cal, you really need to make sure that this guy is right for you. Though I knew as soon as I locked eyes on Terry, that he was the one for me.” “Uh huh.” Kevin tried to divide his concentration between Peter’s voice and the increasingly slippery torpedo. Damn it, he

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couldn’t get the right angle to push it in. “What was the play like?” he asked in an effort to move his friend away from the topic of his seemingly idyllic love life. “A total washout. They called it experimental theatre or something like that. Terry said he didn’t like being experimented on, so we left during the interval.” “Right.” Kevin thought he might have more luck if he used the other hand. “You okay? You sound preoccupied.” “I’m fine. Just got a bit of a headache, didn’t get all that much sleep last night.” This was true, he and Joey hadn’t gone to sleep till late, and Kevin had woken at his usual early time. “You poor thing. Have you got anything you can take for it?” “Uh, yeah, I have.” Kevin swapped hands. The suppository had left a little residue on his right hand, which was now coating the phone’s receiver. “That’s good. Listen, do you want me and him to come over? Maybe we could go for tea somewhere, it’s not good you being on your own, especially if you’re brooding over this new guy, what did you say his name was again?” “Joey, he’s a driver at Parker’s.” “Oh yeah. Well what about it?” Kevin lifted his right foot onto the chair, this gave him sufficient access to his rear, and with a sigh of satisfaction, the medication went in. “Kev?” “Uh?” “I said, do you want us to come and pick you up, we can find a nice country pub or something and spend the afternoon together.” “Oh, um, no. Joey said he’d be coming round later.” Kevin hoped he still was. No, he wasn’t going there, Joey would be coming round. “You don’t want to be dancing to his tune all the time. I know you’re not the sort to make a fuss, but if he knows he can walk all over you. Well, you know, you don’t want another one like Cal.”

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Kevin knew his friend only had his best interests at heart, but he wished Peter wouldn’t interfere so much. No, that was unfair. Peter had helped him get over Cal, he knew he’d never have done it without him. “Joey isn’t like Cal. He’s told me, and shown me often enough that he isn’t.” “Well, okay, then.” Peter didn’t sound convinced. “You know I’m here, love, if you need me. Please, mate, don’t give the bloke the power to hurt you.” It’s gone way beyond that, Kevin thought sadly. “I know, and thanks. But honestly I’m okay. I wanna stick around here for when he comes round. He said we’d grab a bite to eat.” “Don’t you think it’s all happening a bit soon? I don’t want you to get hurt.” “Things are moving quickly, maybe too quickly, but,” Kevin let out a sob, “I love him, so much.” “Oh, Kevin.” “I know. I told him I loved him earlier today, and, well I shocked him I think.” “We’re coming round,” Peter said, brooking no argument. “It’s not necessary.” Kevin knew he was fighting a losing battle, and secretly he didn’t want to be alone. “We’re on our way.” Peter’s voice was replaced by the dial tone.

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Chapter 4 “What’ve you got yourself into?” Peter asked as soon as Kevin opened his door. “You wear your heart on your sleeve way too much.” “I know. Anyway come in, come in.” Kevin ushered his two friends inside. Peter was slight of build; Kevin was always amazed at how much nervous energy the guy seemed to pack into such a thin frame. All this was in total contrast to his boyfriend. Terry was, well, the best term to describe him was Big. Kevin looked up at Terry’s pleasant, affable face, resting as it did on a pair of impossibly wide shoulders. “How you doing, big guy?” Kevin was treated to a broad lazy smile. “I’m fine, thanks. But you seem to be having a spot of bother.” Kevin sighed. “Well, yes and no.” “It’s too soon, love. You shouldn’t have gotten yourself romantically involved with this, um, Joey guy. It’s only been 4 months since we rescued you from that bastard,” Peter said, beginning to rise from the armchair that he’d only just sat in. Kevin signalled he should remain in place. “Yeah, but I didn’t have much choice in the matter.” “How do you mean?” Peter asked, fidgeting. Kevin released a long sigh. “Joey kind of just swept me off my feet last Friday night.” Had it only been Friday? He then went on to bring his two friends up to speed on what had happened since that night. “Sorry.” Kevin snapped out of his dreaming, “I haven’t offered you a drink.” He moved to his tiny kitchen area. “Got any biscuits?” Terry rumbled from his seat on Kevin’s unmade bed. Only then did Kevin realise what a mess the place was in. “We only had lunch less than two hours ago,” Peter said. “If he wants a biscuit, then he can have one. Would you like me to make you a sandwich? Joey took me to the supermarket this morning, so I stocked up.” Kevin wondered if all his conversations were to involve Joey in some way or other.

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Peter sighed, “You’ll never lose any weight if you keep eating between meals.” “Leave him alone. If you’re hungry, Terry, I’ll feed you.” “Thanks, I could murder a sandwich. We only had a salad.” Kevin was treated to a wide grin, which lit up Terry’s rather plain face. I’d make sure you never went hungry if you were mine, Kevin thought sadly as he prepared a round of sandwiches. He realised he was being unfair, Peter and Terry were very happy despite their bickering. Terry was good for Peter, slowing and calming him down; equally the outgoing Peter had a positive effect on the introverted Terry. The three friends spent the afternoon together talking over old times, though Peter pumped as much information about Joey out of Kevin as he could. Peter had tried a number of times to get Kevin to come out with them, Kevin always refusing, saying he was waiting in for Joey, but as the time began to pass, he became more and more despondent at Joey’s non-arrival. Looking up from the wooden stool he’d been sitting on— Kevin had insisted his guests occupy the more comfortable seating—he sighed. It was now dark outside. Maybe he should have gone out after all. Terry’s stomach gave out a rumble. “Listen, you two get off home,” Kevin said. “Come with us,” Peter stood. “we’ll pick up a take-away or something. It’ll be a treat for Terry.” Terry rubbed his hands. “Joey said he’d call round and we’d eat at his place. I think he wanted me to spend the night with him.” Peter’s brow furrowed. “You’ve only known the man for just over three days. Don’t you think you’re rushing it?” Kevin wished he hadn’t let that last bit slip out. “It just seems like things are moving very quickly, maybe too quickly. I don’t want you to get hurt. You are one of life’s givers, love. I’m just worried that this new guy will take and not give you anything back in return.” “I know. But what can I do? I’m in love with him. I think I

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scared him off when I told him this morning.” “Maybe that’s why he hasn’t shown up,” Peter sighed. Kevin’s eyes’ filled with tears. Secretly he’d feared this happening all afternoon. “That’s enough,” Terry said, lifting his bulk from the bed and walking over to Peter. “You’ve been getting at him all afternoon. Now look what you’ve done.” Terry turned to Kevin and wrapped himself around the smaller man. Kevin put his arms around Terry’s middle, but couldn’t get his hands to meet. He just laid his head on Terry’s ample upper chest and tried to absorb some strength from the huge man. He felt safe and protected; Peter was a lucky bastard and no mistake. Terry’s stomach gave out another loud rumble, making Kevin giggle. “Go on, you two get off home and get some food into here before you waste away.” “Ha, that’ll never happen,” Peter said. “We can just as easily ring up for something to be delivered here,” Terry said, not letting go of Kevin, “Why not?” Peter asked. “And don’t give me any shit about you waiting for him to come round. You’ll be hungry, too.” Kevin had to concede Joey probably wasn’t going to come now. “There’s a menu for a Chinese take-away in the drawer under the phone. They’re about the best round here.” “I like Chinese.” Terry’s rich, warm voice vibrated into Kevin’s chest. Once Peter had consulted the menu and determined what everyone wanted, he approached the phone. “What’s this white stuff on the receiver?” Kevin, who had moved away from Terry, wished he hadn’t. He wanted to bury his head in the man’s chest out of embarrassment. He’d forgotten to clean the phone after his difficulties with the suppository. **** Arriving at his uncle’s house, Joey was annoyed to

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discover that no one had bothered to get the shelving materials. “How do you expect me to build them for you, when there’s no brackets or wood?” “We thought you’d have all that kind of thing,” his mother said. Looking down at her from his position standing on a chair, measuring tape in hand, he asked, “Ma, I ride a motorbike. Where the he…um, heck would I put the stuff?” “Joey!” his mother said, nodding in Simon’s direction. “Young ears. Anyway I don’t know why you have to ride that bike. It’s so dangerous. I can’t sleep at night with the worry that you’ll end up in a road accident or something. Oy, every time I hear an ambulance going past…” She put a hand to her chest and sighed. Joey had heard the speech many times before; he knew what was coming next. “Now take Peter Rosenthal, he’s got a nice sensible car. He doesn’t make his mother worry.” Joey rolled his eyes, he’d been right. There was no point in trying to tell her that Peter’s car was the kind only a wimpy mother’s boy would drive. “Give me the keys to your car, and I’ll go down to the DIY superstore and get what I need.” His mother hesitated. “You’ll be careful, won’t you? There’s a couple of dangerous corners that you’ve got to watch out for.” Through clenched teeth Joey said, “I drive a lorry for a living.” He realised as soon as the words had left his mouth he’d said the wrong thing. His mother didn’t approve of his job. His jaw began to ache with the pressure he was putting it under as he listened to how much of a disappointment he was to her, and how she’d wanted him to become a doctor, lawyer or whatever it was. It seemed to change each time she made the speech. “Ma, car keys? They’ll be shutting in a couple of hours.” Joey managed to get out when she paused to draw breath. “Can I come with you, Uncle Joey?” his nephew Simon asked. “Sure. You can help me carry the stuff,” Joey said, ruffling

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Simon’s hair. “He’s only eight, Joey, you be careful,” his mother said. Joey groaned. He thought it best to escape before he said something else he shouldn’t. “Come on then, Champ. Let’s go.” Joey managed to get out of the house without further incident. He loved spending time with his nephew; the boy was always full of questions, sometimes embarrassing ones. Joey remembered once Simon asking why his willy got hard. Joey had told Simon to ask his mother. The youngster had pulled a face. “I can’t ask mum guy stuff!” Joey had laughed. It couldn’t be easy for the kid growing up without a male role model around the place. “You had your dinner yet?” Joey asked Simon when the pair had exited the car. “Yeah, grandma brought round some leftovers.” Joey chuckled. “Any room in your tummy for a cheese burger?” “Yeah.” Simon treated his uncle to a broad grin. “Thought you might.” Joey slung a protective arm around his nephew’s shoulder, and the two walked across the car park to McDonalds. Remembering he was going to eat with Kevin later, Joey didn’t have much, he wasn’t overly fond of burgers anyway. As Simon ate, he peppered his uncle with questions and observations about things he’d done at school the previous week, his classmates, and what his mother was up to. Joey was touched Simon felt comfortable enough with him to confide his innermost thoughts. Joey knew when he was that age he didn’t have an adult man whom he could talk to. As they walked around the DIY store, Simon kept asking what this or that was used for. Joey was starting to get a bit impatient, Simon must have realised this, and apologised. “Mum tells me off for asking questions all the time. She got really mad with me in the supermarket last week when I asked what something was for.” “What was it?”

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“Erm, tamp, yeah tampons. She went really red and told me that it wasn’t for little boys.” Joey couldn’t help laughing out loud. He could picture his up tight sister trying to field that one. “Well…they’re something ladies use. Um, trust me, love, you don’t wanna know the details.” As a gay man, the thought of vaginas and menstruation turned his stomach. “Woman’s stuff, yuck. I don’t like girls.” Joey smiled. “You’ll probably change your mind when you get a bit older.” Least ways I hope you do. “Now, can you get me a box of screws? Yeah, those ones,” Joey said when Simon had his hand over the correct ones. “We need some raw plugs as well.” Their purchases made, the two left the store, and Joey took a few minutes trying to fit the long planks of wood into his mother’s Peugeot. “Can we stop off at the park, Uncle Joey?” “We’ve got to get all this stuff back to Uncle Jacob’s.” “Please, just for a bit? It’s boring at Uncle Jacob’s. He’s no fun, not like you.” The little shit knew which buttons to press. “Okay, but only for ten minutes. I’ve got stuff on later today.” “Thanks, you’re the bestest uncle in the world.” Joey was treated to a wide grin. If Joey thought he’d be allowed to just sit on a park bench while Simon played on the swings, he was very much mistaken. “Push me, please. Make it go really high.” Simon encouraged. Joey had held back, he didn’t want to frighten the kid by pushing too hard. Simon let out a loud whoop when Joey had given the swing a hard shove. “Yeah, higher, Uncle Joey, make it go higher,” Simon’s excited and unbroken voice encouraged. “That’s high enough,” Joey shouted as the swing almost became parallel to the ground at the end of its arc. Carole would skin me alive if he fell off. Joey shuddered at the thought. And when his sister finished with him, he’d have to face his mother.

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After a quarter of an hour, Joey stopped pushing the swing. “Come on, we better be going.” “Can’t I have a few more minutes? Please?” “Well, okay, but do you wanna have a go on something else?” Something a bit less strenuous, he thought. “Okay, then.” Simon jumped from the swing as it was still in motion. Joey’s heart stopped momentarily. But Simon landed on his feet and ran round the corner. Joey quickly followed, needing to keep his nephew in sight. He wondered why he was being so paternal. When he was a kid, Joey thought nothing of going to the park either by himself or with a group of mates. He couldn’t ever remember having an adult in tow. “Uncle Joey, this is Tim and Bobby, they’re my best friends from school,” Simon said once Joey had rounded the corner and discovered his nephew talking to a couple of lads his own age. Turning back to his friends, Simon said with a note of pride, “This is my Uncle Joey, he’s really cool.” Joey knew there was no greater accolade that could be bestowed on him. “Hi, guys.” “Um, hello,” the smaller of the two said very shyly. “Simon’s told us a lot about you.” “Bet he hasn’t told you that I’m really strict with him and if he gets his homework wrong he has to bend over my knee?” The kid paled. “Uncle Joey, stop it! He’s teasing you. Remember I said he was always joking around? He’s just like a big teddy bear, I can twist him round my little finger when I want to.” “Com’ere ya little sod!” Joey said, grabbing the wriggling boy, up-ending him and delivering a playful slap to his bottom. “Put me down, you big bully.” Simon said through his laughter. The other two boys seemed wary and backed away. Joey did as he was asked, he stood Simon in front of him and wrapped his arms around his nephew’s upper chest. Simon leaned into the embrace. “Will you push us on the roundabout, Uncle Joey?”

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“Only for a couple of minutes. Your grandma will be calling the police to come and get us if we don’t go back to Uncle Jacob’s soon.” “Yeah, she probably would.” Simon broke from Joey’s tight hug and raced to the wooden roundabout, the other boys following along behind. “Come on, Uncle Joey, we haven’t got long!” Simon said, once he and his friends had situated themselves. “Cheeky bugger,” Joey said, breaking out into a jog. “Make it go faster. Come on, put some welly into it!” Simon screeched. The roundabout was going fast enough for Joey’s liking. But he thought he’d better comply. The adventure playground rang with the delighted screams of preadolescent boys having a good time. Joey stood back and crossed his arms over his chest. He loved being around kids, and they seemed to like him, too. His happiness faded when he realised that as a gay man, it would be unlikely he’d have a son of his own. After the boys had been spun around for about ten minutes, Joey grabbed one of the ride’s handlebars and brought the roundabout to a stop. Ignoring the groans of protest, Joey insisted they had to go. “Will you carry me, Uncle Joey, I’m really tired,” Simon pleaded. “Sod off, it’s me who’s tired, what with all the stuff you’ve had me doing.” “It’s not easy at your age, is it?” “Come‘ere ya little bugger.” Joey chased after his giggling nephew. Once he’d caught up with him, he rugby tackled the boy to the grass. “What were you saying about me being old?” Joey mock threatened as he began to tickle Simon’s ribs. “Geroff, I’ll pee myself,” Simon said through his laughter. Not wanting to have to explain why his nephew was wearing wet pants, Joey stopped his tickling. He got to his feet and slung Simon over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. “Now be

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a good boy and say bye-bye to your little play mates.” “Err,” Simon wriggled. “See ya tomorrow at school, guys.” “Yeah, bye Simon, bye mister, um—” “Goldman, but you can call me Uncle Joey if you like.” Joey was treated to two broad grins. Spinning round a couple of times—much to Simon’s delight—Joey made for the park’s exit. Once he was set back on the ground at the passenger side of the car, Simon gave Joey a hug. “Thanks, Uncle Joey, Tim and Bobby were dead impressed. They’ll be real jealous of me now.” Joey wore a broad grin for the rest of the journey back to Jacob’s house. His happy mood soon dissipated along with that of Simon’s when they saw Carole’s car parked in the driveway. “Shit, mum’s here.” “Simon!” Joey admonished. “Well, she’ll make sure I won’t have any more fun now.” “Cheer up, kiddo, it isn’t that bad.” “Wanna bet?” “You’re stuck with her until you leave for university.” Joey’s mother had already decided Simon would receive a higher education. “Humph!” Simon sat in the car, not showing any sign of wanting to get out. “Come on, you can give me a hand getting these shelves into the house. Maybe your mum will let you stay and help me put them up. Simon’s sad expression brightened considerably. As soon as they entered the house, Carole intercepted them. “You’ve got grass stains on your new trousers. You’ll never have anything decent. Come on, we’re already late.” Turning a disapproving gaze at her brother, she continued. “Where have you been with him? Mother said that you were only going out to get some shelving.” “I took him to the park, you know, to have some fun, remember what that is?” Carole had very successfully ruined what had been a happy afternoon.

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“Come on, Simon,” Carole said, ignoring Joey’s barbed comment. “Uncle Joey said I could stay and help him put the shelves up.” “I’ve got to get home, there’s all the housework to do. That pile of ironing won’t do itself, and you’ll be the first to complain if I send you to school in wrinkled clothes.” “But mum, I promised Uncle Joey.” “Feh, It’s all right for you, you don’t have to run a house, a job and look after a whining kid.” Joey struggled to keep a lid on his temper. “I’ll drop him off later, so you’ll be able to do your bloody ironing without interruption.” “Fine,” Carole said, brushing passed them. “There is no way my grandson is riding on that death-trap of yours.” Why did his mother always choose to stick her oar in at the wrong time? Carole sighed. “He’ll just have to come home with me, then. Come on, let’s go.” Simon looked beseechingly up at Joey. “Ma, can you take our Simon home in your car later?” “I’ve got to be going, I’ve left Mrs Slivovitz looking after your dad, and I’ve been gone longer than I said I would.” “Please, Uncle Joey, it’d be great riding on your bike.” “I wish you could, champ, but I don’t have a helmet that’d fit you, and your grandma’s right, it wouldn’t really be safe anyway.” Joey thought Simon would burst into tears. “Well, I suppose I can come back to get you once I’ve put your granddad to bed. But it’ll mean you having to stay here for a few hours,” she told her grandson, whose expression rapidly brightened. “That’s okay, Uncle Joey will stay with me, won’t you Uncle Joey?” “I’ve got to be somewhere later,” Joey said, thinking of Kevin. When he saw the corners of Simon’s mouth beginning to droop he knew he couldn’t let the kid down. Though Simon

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wouldn’t come to any harm staying alone with Jacob, Joey knew the old man would start to worry. Ever since he’d been liberated from the concentration camps of Nazi Germany at the end of the war, Jacob had had numerous bouts of mental illness. “I suppose I can hang around till you get back, ma, but please try not to be too long.” “You know your father, if he’s in one of his moods, there’s no telling when I’ll be able to get him settled.” Although his dad had suffered a debilitating stroke about five years earlier, Joey always found it hard to feel sorry for the man’s predicament. He’d made his adolescent life a living hell. His dad was a vegetable, doing little more than sitting in an armchair all-day and dribbling. Joey shuddered, determined he wouldn’t end his days like that. “Okay, Ma, don’t worry, I’ll stay here until you get back.” “Thanks, Uncle Joey.” Carole just sniffed before leaving the house, their mother following her out. **** The afternoon had been great, if long, Joey concluded as he straddled his bike after waving off his nephew. Simon had been eager to please, always seeming to know when to hand over a screw, raw plug or whatever. Joey had looked down a number of times as he worked, to see his nephew’s expression of total concentration. Joey had given him a running commentary on his actions, Simon butting in with the occasional intelligent question. The lad had been totally wowed as he watched the bubble move along the spirit level calling out to Joey when it was in the centre. Joey had to admit it had been useful having an extra pair of hands and eyes around to hold up the other end of a shelf, or pick up a dropped screw. But through it all, Joey had worried about Kevin sitting alone waiting for him. He wished he’d had the man’s phone number so he could let him know that he’d be late. Once when he’d gone to the toilet Joey had called Directory Enquiries, but Kevin was ex-directory, and despite

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putting on the charm with the female operator, she’d resolutely refused to give Joey the information he’d wanted. Riding along the artificially lit streets Joey hoped Kevin wouldn’t be too distressed at his protracted absence. The closer he got to Kevin’s, the more determined he became to tell the smaller man of his true feelings towards him. He’d been a total prick earlier when he’d remained silent after Kevin had poured out his feelings to him. Joey promised himself that as soon as Kevin opened the door, he was going to pick him up—Joey realised how much he enjoyed carrying his lover around—he’d lay the biggest, sloppiest kiss on him, then tell him that he loved him. Decision made, Joey’s mind was eased, and he could concentrate more on his driving. Deciding that he’d not be away from his bike for long, Joey removed his crash helmet and tucked it under his arm. He took the stairs two at a time, his heart beginning to race. Pausing for breath outside the door, Joey at first thought about knocking loudly, but opted for a gentle knock instead. It only took a few seconds for Kevin to answer. Joey opened his arms and advanced on Kevin. He’d just lifted him up, when he saw someone sitting in Kevin’s only armchair. “Sorry, Pu…um, Kevin, I didn’t know you had company.” “Uh, yeah,” Kevin said, sounding a little breathless. Joey set Kevin back on his feet. “This is my best mate Peter, and his boyfriend, Terry.” Joey turned to see a huge gorilla of a man rise from the bed. If the groaning of the mattress springs were to be believed, the bed was grateful to be relieved of its burden. Though Terry seemed harmless enough, Joey was somewhat wary; he held out a hand in greeting, which the big man took with surprising gentleness. “Pleased to meet ya,” the big man rumbled. “Kevin’s been telling us a lot about you.” “Oh?” Joey wondered how much Kevin had revealed. Terry smiled, his face could never be described as handsome, but his smile seemed to warm the whole room, Joey couldn’t help but smile along with him. The two were still holding

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hands. Terry didn’t seem eager to let go. Peter nodded at Joey before turning to Kevin. “Look, we’ll be off now.” “Thanks for, um, well, thanks for coming round.” Kevin smiled shyly. “That’s okay,” Peter told him. Staring right at Joey, Terry tilted his head towards the door. “A quick word?” “Um, sure.” Joey, despite his air of bravado, was secretly a little concerned. Though the guy wasn’t in tiptop shape, he’d still be able to inflict some serious damage if he had a mind to. Terry, Joey and Peter exited Kevin’s room, Terry pulling the door closed behind them. Terry looked down kindly at Joey, few men had the size advantage to be able to do that. “Kevin’s our friend,” he said simply. Joey thought Terry had finished speaking, and was about to reply, when Peter piped up with, “Has Kev told you about Cal?” Ah, so that was where this was heading. Joey nodded. “It’s taken him a long time to get over him. Fact is, he’s still getting over him.” “Yeah, he’s mentioned Cal and something of what went on between them.” Joey found his fists clenching at the thought of what that bastard had done. “Look, what we’re saying is,” Peter said, nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “Kevin’s a really great guy, we hope you’ll treat him right.” Joey shook his head. He wasn’t used to discussing his love life, and had no intension of starting now. “A word to the wise. You hurt him, and he,” Peter pointed to Terry, “will hurt you.” Joey’s fists clenched again. “Kevin and I are none of your business.” Terry shifted, and began to look more menacing. “That’s true up to a point,” Peter said. “Look, we’re sure you’re a good bloke and all that, but Cal almost did for Kev, and I’ll be buggered if I’m gonna let the first bloke who gets close to him fuck him over.”

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Joey wondered if he could take the two of them on. Peter looked as though a stiff breeze would knock him over, but Terry was a different kettle of fish. Fortunately sense prevailed. Joey realised the two men were just doing their bit to watch out for their friend, he could live with, even admire that. The door behind Joey opened, and Kevin poked his head out. “What’s going on?” “Nothing, Pup.” Joey stroked Kevin’s cheek before turning back to the dynamic duo. “Even though I’ve not known Kevin long,” he remembered he’d worked with the guy for a couple of years, so continued with, “on a personal level, I…think a lot about him.” This was not the time to declare his true feelings. Peter smiled, as did his sidekick. “Right then, we’re off,” Peter said to Kevin. Turning to Joey, he treated him to a relatively friendly glance, before setting off down the corridor, his oversized bodyguard following along obediently behind. Joey let out a breath. “Sorry about that,” Kevin said, leading Joey into his bed-sit. “Sor-right, Pup. It was kinda cute in a way. They care about you.” Kevin nodded. “There’s been times when…” Needing to brighten the mood, Joey asked, “Missed me?” “Oh, Sir, you’ve no idea.” Joey dipped his head and delivered a soft, closed-mouth kiss to Kevin’s lips. “Sorry it took so long, family obligations, you know.” Kevin sighed. “I thought it’d be something like that.” Joey sensed there was more, he was pretty sure what it was, but the encounter with Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee had blown his previous intentions to smithereens. “You hungry? Uncle Jacob doesn’t follow the family tradition of feeding his guests till they’re too wide to get out of the door. So I’m starved. “ Kevin looked down and started to do his carpet scrutiny thing again. “I’m sorry, Sir, but I thought you weren’t gonna come, and Terry and Peter were hungry, and…”

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Joey put a finger under Kevin’s chin and raised it. His actions served to silence the smaller man. “Sor-right. I was a lot longer than I said I’d be. Go and pack a few things in an overnight bag, and on the way back to mine we’ll stop off at the Indian so I can get something for my dinner.” “Sir?” “Yeah?” “Well, um, you’ve got a few things in the fridge back at your place, all that stuff your mother brought round.” Joey groaned. “I don’t really know anything about Jewish cuisine, but I’m not too bad in the kitchen. It seems a shame to let all that food go to waste. Would you let me cook you something?” Joey smiled, he really liked the idea. “You got a deal, Pup.” It only took Kevin a couple of minutes to gather up some clothing and put it in a bag. He was about to reach for his toothbrush when Joey stopped him. “I’ve still got that new one you used last time. You might as well have that one now.” Joey hoped Kevin would grasp the significance behind the offer. The couple of swallows Kevin had to do seemed to prove that he understood. “Come on then, let’s be having you,” Joey said, opening the door. **** Joey sat at his kitchen table and watched Kevin work. The smaller man had delved into the refrigerator and pulled out a couple of boned breasts of lamb, then after removing a few items from the pantry, set to work. The smells that were soon created made Joey’s stomach rumble. Not able to stand it any longer, he asked, “Pup, what you making?” “Oh, uh, I remember seeing a chef on the telly making this the other day. He said it was kosher.” “You know I don’t really stick to that.” “Yeah, but…well it sounded good anyway.”

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“Certainly smells good. What is it?” “Oh, sorry. It’s lamb with apricot stuffing. I was lucky that you had all the ingredients.” “That’s my mother’s doing. I couldn’t tell you half the things in those cupboards.” When everything was in the oven, Kevin made to sit on the stool next to Joey. But the bigger man was having none of that. As he’d sat there watching Kevin make a meal for him, Joey became increasingly convinced he had to confess his true feelings. Seizing the moment, Joey took hold of Kevin’s wrist, and guided him to stand between his spread thighs. Joey looked up, wiped a strand of hair from Kevin’s sweaty brow and opened his mouth. “This afternoon, just before I left for my Uncle Jacob’s.” “Sorry, Sir. I…I—” “Hush.” Joey put a finger to Kevin’s lips. “I’ve never said this before to another man.” Joey swallowed, “This isn’t easy, but it needs to be said. Pup, I love you, too.” It was fascinating to watch the various expressions as they flitted across Kevin’s face. First came shock, then surprise, which was swiftly followed by joy, and finally came disbelief. “You mean? Um, no, please Sir, please it’s not fair if you don’t really—” Kevin was cut off by Joey pulling Kevin’s face towards his and kissing his lips. Joey could feel the smaller man’s knees weaken, so he wrapped his arms around him to steady his descent. Kevin’s small frame began to shake with emotion; he buried his head in Joey’s shoulder in an effort to hide his tears. Joey alternately rubbed Kevin’s back and stroked his hair, marvelling at its fineness. “There, there. It’s okay, Pup. It’s okay. I’m sorry I freaked out earlier. You really took me by surprise, you know. But I should have told you back then how I felt. It wasn’t fair of me to leave like that. All the time I was away from you I kept going over and over it in my head, wishing I’d have said something.” Eventually Kevin lifted his head, and asked, “You sure? I mean I’m, well I’m not very…” Joey shook his head. “Pup, you’re kind, you’re gentle, and

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so goddamn cute.” Kevin began to redden. “How could I not love you? Now give me one of your smiles.” Joey reached over for the roll of paper towels, and, tearing off a square, dabbed at Kevin’s puffy eyes. “Big blow,” he said, holding the paper over Kevin’s nose. Joey then lifted his lover and sat him on his knee. Kevin shifted round until they were chest to chest, he wrapped his arms around the bigger man and laid his head on his shoulder.

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Chapter 5 The ringing of the kitchen timer brought Kevin out of the trance-like state he’d been enjoying as he sat cuddled up to his lover. Wow, Joey Goldman was his lover! He couldn’t believe it. Lifting his head from Joey’s broad shoulder, Kevin said dinner would be ready in a few minutes. “I think I’ve cooked too much.” “I can have the rest tomorrow,” Joey said, letting go of Kevin, who reluctantly went to put the finishing touches to his man’s meal. After placing a heaped plate of food in front of Joey, Kevin sat on the stool opposite, and watched as the big man tucked in. It gave him an enormous sense of satisfaction to watch someone devour something he’d created. “This is bloody fantastic,” Joey said through a mouthful of food. “Sure you don’t want any?” “I’m still full from the Chinese.” “Not even a little?” “Well, maybe just a couple of bites.” Kevin stood and made for the cooker. “It’s okay, you’ve given me too much. Here, have some of mine.” Kevin got himself a small plate, but Joey speared a piece of lamb with his fork, and held it out for Kevin to eat. Kevin had a sudden urge to kneel in front of his lover and be fed just as if he were a real puppy. As soon as he sank to the floor and looked up at the powerfully built man towering above him, he knew he was where he needed to be, where he felt most secure. Joey showed momentary surprise, but soon realised what was going on. Reaching down, he patted Kevin on the head. “There’s a good pup.” After cutting another piece of meat, Joey picked it up with his fingers and held it out for Kevin to take. Once Kevin had swallowed, Joey scooped up an apricot and dropped it into Kevin’s waiting mouth.

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After all the food had been eaten, Kevin licked Joey’s fingers clean. He grinned when he noticed the bulge in Joey’s jeans had increased. Kevin winced when he got to his feet. His knees were sore, as was his arse. “You okay?” “It’s nothing, Sir.” Kevin picked up Joey’s plate, took it to the sink and turned on the hot tap to begin the washing up. Joey walked up behind Kevin, rubbed his back and bent down and licked his ear. “No, Pup, you made the meal, I want you to go into the living room and leave me to do the cleaning up.” “Oh, Sir, I don’t mind.” “I do. Now go on, scoot.” Joey lightly tapped Kevin’s bottom before turning his shoulders and giving him a gentle push towards the door. Kevin giggled, but began walking. As Kevin peered at the furniture in the living room through his myopic eyes, he realised no one could ever doubt the place had been decorated by a single man. Rubbing his eyes, Kevin hoped he’d be able to get himself a new pair of glasses the next day. Spying the settee, he decided to rest for a few moments. He hadn’t gotten much sleep the previous night, so he snuggled into the sofa’s deep and inviting cushions. **** “Wake up, Pup.” “Huh? Oh, sorry, Sir.” Kevin rubbed his eyes again and yawned. “It’s been a long day.” Yawns being the infectious things that they are, Joey soon found himself joining in. “Guess we ought to have an early night, ay?” Kevin treated Joey to a shy smile. “Though I’ve got something else planned before we drift off to la-la land.” Joey stepped towards Kevin and effortlessly picked him up. Kevin snuggled into Joey’s chest and sighed with

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contentment. He loved it when his sir carried him. “Did you bring any pyjamas?” Joey asked when the pair had reached the bedroom and had set Kevin on his feet. “No, Sir, I don’t wear them.” Joey grinned. “Good, ’cause I don’t either.” Grasping the hem of Kevin’s jumper, Joey pulled it over his lover’s head. Kevin marvelled at how Joey just took charge of everything. He didn’t ask if it was okay, because somehow he instinctively knew it was. Once Kevin was naked, Joey began to rub along Kevin’s shoulders, his gentle caresses sending icy shivers down Kevin’s spine. Quickly discarding his own clothes, Joey pulled Kevin into an embrace and kissed the top of his head. Kevin felt Joey’s fingers at his anus; he flinched, partly from shock, but also because things were still rather tender down there. “Still sore?” “Erm, not really.” “I’ll be the judge of that.” Joey put a slight edge into his voice. Kevin grew somewhat fearful. He was told to bend forward, and was forced to submit to the indignity of having his arse hole examined. The evening wasn’t turning out as romantic as he’d first hoped. “Did you use any of those suppositories I bought for you?” Joey seemed a little angry. “Oh, yes, Sir, honestly I did. They helped a lot, thank you,” Kevin said straightening up. “You brought them with you?” Joey’s voice had softened. “Yes, Sir.” After Joey found the medicine in Kevin’s bag, he deftly unwrapped one of the torpedoes. He indicated to Kevin to bend over again. Kevin complied without question, but it was embarrassing. No, this certainly wasn’t the sort of romantic evening he’d longed for. “Pup?” Joey asked after seeing Kevin’s glum expression. “Sorry, Sir. I…I just wanted tonight to be perfect, like last night.”

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“Why shouldn’t it be?” “I’ve disappointed you.” Kevin felt terrible. “No you haven’t. I was a bit miffed that you didn’t tell me the truth about how sore you were.” “I didn’t want it to spoil your enjoyment.” Joey sat on the side of the bed and made Kevin stand between his spread thighs. Rubbing Kevin’s stomach, Joey said, “But I wouldn’t have enjoyed myself if I’d have been causing you pain. What kind of a monster do you think I am?” Joey paused, before realisation dawned. “Sorry, I know it’s not easy for you to trust me. God knows all this love and mushy stuff is brand new to me, too. But, Pup, I say again, I’m not Cal.” Kevin found he couldn’t look at Joey. Instead he watched the big man’s hand gently rubbing his smooth belly, it felt so reassuring. He leaned forward to increase the contact. “Now, with your arse being out of bounds, we’ll have to be a bit more inventive, won’t we?” “Sorry, Sir.” “Hey, none of that.” Joey’s rubbing increased. “We can still have fun.” Walking over to a chest of drawers, Joey pulled out a large bath towel. “Here, put this over the bed, I’ll be back in a minute.” Kevin fixed his gaze on Joey’s naked firm arse cheeks as they moved out of the door. They were so powerful and well defined, just like Joey himself. Turning back to the bed, Kevin picked up the towel and spread it out. When he walked round to the other side to smooth away a few wrinkles, he noticed something sticking out from under the bed. He bent down to investigate. To his horror he saw it was a length of rope. Pulling at it, he found it was attached to the bed-frame. Panic gripped him, his chest tightened, he couldn’t get his breath. Unpleasant memories of Cal tying him up and leaving him alone for hours on end crowded his thoughts. Kevin closed his eyes in an effort to try and remain in control. His psychiatrist had told him to focus on something pleasant when he found himself losing it. Kevin recalled what Joey had told him about how he loved him and wanted to take care of him. This helped to push the

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unpleasantness back into its dark corner. “What ya doing, Pup?” Joey’s voice caused Kevin to jump. Kevin lifted the rope in his shaking hands, unable to form the words to beg Joey not to use it on him. “Shit!” Joey walked round the bed. Kevin instinctively shied away. “No, Pup, no, it’s okay. I forgot it was there.” Kevin looked up into Joey’s eyes, desperately seeking reassurance. Much to his relief, he found it. Joey’s face radiated love and compassion. Yes, I’ve got to trust him. I can trust him. This self-realisation made his body flush with warmth. Joey wasn’t going to hurt him. Acting quickly, Joey untied the rope and took it out of the room. When he returned, he walked straight up to Kevin and hugged him. “Did you remember what I told you?” “Yes, Sir. It helped a lot, it really did.” Kevin rubbed his face into Joey’s furry upper chest and hugged him tightly. “Want to talk about what scared you?” Joey asked in a surprisingly tender voice. Kevin had to think about it. Normally he was too frightened to open up his box of horrors, it being safer to keep it well and truly padlocked shut, but here, in Joey’s arms, he just might manage it. “I’ll try.” Joey gave Kevin a squeeze. “Let’s get a bit more comfortable, shall we?” Releasing Kevin from his embrace, Joey removed the towel from the bed and pulled back the duvet. After he piled his pillows against the headboard, he climbed into bed and gestured to Kevin to follow. Not being totally sure what was expected, Kevin got in, but laid down next to Joey, careful to leave a few centimetres of space between them. “Uh, no.” Joey took hold of Kevin and slid him onto Joey’s chest, pulled the thick duvet over them both and tucked it under Kevin’s chin. Finally he reached over to the bedside table and switched off the lamp, plunging the room into total darkness. Kevin was grateful when he felt Joey’s hand resume its circular tummy rub.

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After a few minutes of silence, Joey asked, “Feeling calmer?” Kevin let out a deep sigh. “You’ve no idea how much, Sir. I feel, well I just feel so…loved.” Joey kissed the top of Kevin’s head. “Good.” Haltingly, Kevin began. Not being able to see Joey’s expression actually helped. If he saw distaste or disapproval in his lover’s eyes, he knew he’d not be able to continue. With remarkable calmness, Kevin told of how Cal had spiralled into an out of control sadist. How he would beat him for even the most minor of transgressions. The humiliations in front of Cal’s cronies. Throughout Kevin’s narrative, Joey stayed silent, though now and again his arms would tighten, pulling Kevin closer. Drawing strength from Joey’s love and acceptance, Kevin couldn’t stop talking. There was a very real risk Joey wouldn’t want to remain his sir when he found out everything about how weak and ineffectual he really was, but Kevin’s self-esteem was at such a low point anyway, if Joey didn’t want him, then he knew nobody would. Best to find out. “At first Cal was okay whenever we’d do a bondage scene. He was always a bit rougher than I liked, but I’d given myself to him, so he had the right to use me as he saw fit.” Kevin thought Joey would challenge what he had said, but he remained silent. “Things gradually got worse. Maybe he needed to get more and more extreme in order to get off, I don’t know. You see he’d had problems with impotency for a long time. He’d get madder and madder when he couldn’t get hard. Of course he blamed me, calling me useless and saying I couldn’t take care of my master properly. I used to believe what he said, thinking that it was my fault. I must have been doing something wrong. I’d try my hardest, cooking him his favourite meals, cleaning up after him, always praising him. I dedicated my whole life to loving him. If he didn’t love me back, it was because I wasn’t good enough. “One time when he’d tied me up, the ropes were too tight…I couldn’t feel my hands. I asked, pleaded with him to

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slacken my bonds, but he just laughed at me and told me that I was a wimp. “Something had happened at work, I never found out what exactly. As soon as we got home, he wouldn’t let me eat or use the toilet, he took me straight to the bedroom and lashed me to the bed. “Because he’d been more brutal than usual, he’d managed to get an erection. So he plunged it straight into me without using any lube, just a bit of spit. He never leaked much pre-come, so basically I was fucked dry. It hurt like nothing had ever hurt before. I had to bite the pillow to stop myself from screaming, cause I know that’d only have encouraged him to get even rougher. “He lost his erection before he ejaculated though. I thought he was gonna kill me. He slapped me around…I couldn’t defend myself of course. He left the room. I thought he was going to get his belt, but a couple of minutes later I heard him slam the front door. I lay on the bed. My body—or at least the bits I could feel—was really hurting. I later found out that my arse was bleeding, but at the time the thing that bothered me most was needing to pee. I called out, but of course no one could hear me. So I…” For the first time since he’d started, Kevin paused. “I had to piss the bed. I knew I’d be punished but I couldn’t help it, I had to go. I can’t tell you how horrible I felt. But I had no choice. “The muscles in my arms and legs had gone numb. I couldn’t feel them any more. The piss soon cooled and started to smell. I knew then that I’d reached rock bottom. Why did Cal treat me like he did? No matter what I did for him, it never made any difference. “Cal didn’t come back till the next morning, stinking of stale whisky. As you can imagine he wasn’t best pleased, to put it mildly, that I’d wet his bed. He untied me…I couldn’t get my limbs to work, that meant I wasn’t able to fend off his blows.” Kevin felt Joey’s body shaking. Looking up, his eyes now accustomed to the dark, he saw Joey turn his head away. Getting up onto his knees, Kevin said, “Sir?” When Joey faced him, a shaft of moonlight caught his

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cheek and highlighted the moisture on it. Kevin felt a stabbing pain deep in his chest. “I shouldn’t have told you.” Swallowing, he continued, “I’ll go.” He fought back his tears as he made to get out of the bed. “Noooo!” Joey gripped Kevin fiercely. It took the big man a couple of moments to collect himself. “That fucking evil sadist. I swear I’m gonna kill him!” “No, Sir. No. If you do, you’ll go to prison.” “I don’t give a fuck about that! And how come he isn’t behind bars anyway?” Kevin was relieved Joey wasn’t rejecting him. “I didn’t tell the police about it.” “What?” “Sir, it would have been my word against his, there were never any witnesses, and for the most part I let him do it all to me.” “Why? I don’t get it.” “He owned me. He could do what he wanted to me, it was his right.” “That’s crap. He had no right to treat you like that.” “I’m a submissive. Cal was my master.” “Fuck!” Joey shook his head, clearly not understanding the BDSM lifestyle. “Over the years I was with Cal, he ate away at my selfconfidence, not that I had much to start with. I was a total basket case by the time Peter and Terry rescued me. I had to spend a couple of weeks in a psychiatric ward with all the other nutters.” “No, oh, Pup, no.” “I’m a lot better now, thanks to my friends…and you.” “Me?” “My psychiatrist told me to talk about all of this with someone I trusted. But there’s never been anyone who I dared trust enough until now.” “What about whatshisname, Peter?” “He’s a great friend, but…he’s too highly strung. I almost told Terry once, but chickened out at the last minute.” Even though Kevin knew Joey didn’t understand, he still was able to offer his silent support by pulling Kevin into a tight hug.

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“When you hold me,” Kevin mumbled into Joey’s chest, “I feel safe, I know that nothing or no one can hurt me. That’s why I was able to let it all out, because of you.” Some time passed before Joey said, “You’ve…you’ve just paid me the biggest compliment ever. But Cal, I just can’t let the bastard get away with it. It’s not right. I wanna pound the fucker’s head in for what he did to you.” Joey made to get out of the bed. Kevin flung himself at Joey to stop him. “No, Sir! Sorry, Sir, I know I shouldn’t raise my voice to you. But as I said you’d be the one who’d end up going to prison, then what would I do? I wouldn’t have anyone to love and protect me anymore. Sir, you’re everything to me now. I know I’ve only really known you for a couple of days, but I know that I’ve never found anyone who I love more than you. Please, Sir, please don’t do anything that’d take you away from me.” Joey sagged, his strength seeming to drain from his muscles. “Shit.” Joey swallowed. “Please switch the light on for a minute.” Kevin complied. When he looked back at Joey, the man’s eyes were still red. “Pup, you’re the strongest, bravest man I’ve ever known.” “Oh, no, Sir. I’m not brave. If I was, I’d have gotten out of there a long time before I did. I’m not strong either. I need you to be that for me.” Cupping Kevin’s face in his hands, Joey said, “You’ve faced things that no one should ever have to go through, but you’re still a sweet, forgiving man. The fact that you’ve come through it and aren’t all bitter and twisted, shows me you are strong.” Kevin wasn’t used to hearing such things said about him. “I couldn’t have gotten better without Peter and Terry. They’re really protective. That’s why they did what they did with you earlier today.” “Yeah.” Joey smiled. “You’re lucky to have friends like that.” The two remained cuddled together in the bed. Kevin laid his head on Joey’s chest and listened to his sir’s strong and reassuring heartbeat.

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“So much for our plans to have sex, huh?” Joey said, kissing the top of Kevin’s head. “Could we, um, could we still do it?” “It’s getting late, and I don’t think you’re really up to it.” Kevin giggled. “I am, Sir, honestly. Now that I’ve got all that stuff off my chest I feel a lot better.” “What’s funny?” “You, Sir. I don’t know that much about your past, but have you ever turned down sex before?” Joey grinned. “You’ve got a point.” Then he put on a serious expression. “It must be because I love you that I’m putting your needs before mine.” Kevin reached for Joey’s crotch and gave his soft penis a squeeze. “Please show me.” Joey shook his head, but he was smiling. His cock was also inflating. “Go on then, you’ve twisted my arm.” “I thought it was your cock?” Joey laughed before leaping up and landing on Kevin, pinning him to the pillows. “I do the funnies, okay?” He then bit Kevin’s ear playfully. “Whatever you say, Sir. Though do you wanna know something that’s really funny? Well I think it’s funny now…“ “Yeah?” “As well as having problems getting it up, Cal only has a small dick.” “How small?” “About four inches I think. He’d never let me measure it.” Joey laughed. “It couldn’t happen to a nicer bloke.” Kevin was amazed at how liberating it was to be able to laugh about his past. The two got out of bed and re-made it, Kevin laying the towel on top again. As he did so, an idea popped into his head. “Sir?” “Hmm?” Joey had picked up the bottle of massage oil and was heading out of the bedroom with it. “Would you bring back that rope, I want you to tie me up.” The shock of Kevin’s statement caused Joey to drop the

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bottle. “No fucking way! Kevin, you aren’t ready for that. No, absolutely no.” “But, Sir, I need to. I used to enjoy being tied up, but of course when Cal started behaving like a bastard, I grew scared of it. But I trust you, Sir. You’ve told me again and again that you’d never hurt me or do anything that’d cause me pain.” “Which is why I won’t tie you up.” “Sorry. I’ll always do what you say of course, but can I ask you to think about it? You’ve helped me more than you’ll ever know already, I just, well, I wanted to get rid of a few more ghosts.” “The last time you were tied up, it was horrible for you. I’m no shrink, but I’m scared that you’re going too fast, biting off more than you can chew. Oh shit, I’m out of my depth with all this! No, Pup, I don’t like it.” “Okay, Sir, you’re probably right.” Joey picked up the bottle of oil and left the room. Kevin flopped down on the bed. “Boy, what an evening!” But he wasn’t lying when he’d said he felt a lot freer now he’d revealed some of his past. Of course there’d been other incidents, but that one had been one of the worst. When the bedroom door opened, Kevin turned his head. He could never get enough of looking at his buff lover, that V shaped torso, with the pendulous man-cock swinging at the base of the V. Kevin’s eyes widened, because not only was Joey holding the bottle of oil, he also had a few coils of rope in his other hand. “I’ve decided to compromise,” Joey said, throwing the rope onto the bed. “Sir?” Kevin’s heart was starting to race at the thought of Joey tying him up. “Yeah, well, gotta keep my pup happy. Here’s the deal. Your ankles stay free.” Kevin nodded. “I’m going to attach ropes to the two top corners of the bed, and end them with loops. You can then hold onto the loops. But if you get scared or it all becomes too much for you, then all you have to do is let go. I’m sorry, but that’s as far as I’m willing to go.”

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Kevin leaped off the bed and flung himself at Joey. “Thank you, Sir. I guess I was a bit scared.” “Yeah, I thought you might be. Pup, this is important. I’ll be making most of the decisions in our relationship, that’s my job. But you absolutely have to tell me if something’s happening which you know will hurt you. Not telling me about your sore arse is a good example. I think that’s worth five minutes of punishment, don’t you?” Kevin was afraid, until he remembered his last punishment. “Permission to give you a kiss first?” “Permission granted.” Joey smiled. Being much shorter than his lover, Kevin had to pull Joey’s head down in order for their lips to meet. As soon as they did, he opened his lips to allow Joey’s tongue its usual access, but to Kevin’s surprise Joey allowed Kevin’s tongue inside of him instead. He thought he was going to shoot his load when Joey began to suck on his tongue. When they released, he could feel Joey’s hard erection poking into his belly. “Wow, Sir, thank you.” Joey just smiled down at him lovingly. Kevin left for the bathroom, grateful Joey was considerate enough to allow him to pee before they started. He’s so different from Cal, Kevin mused as he let go his stream. I hope he isn’t into water sports. Kevin shuddered at some of the degrading things Cal had made him do. Stop it! he told himself. When Kevin returned to the bedroom, he climbed on the bed and tried out the ropes, but they were too slack. Joey complained that he was being awkward, but set to work shortening them. “Will they do, now?” Joey got to his feet after tightening the ropes for a third time, and stood, hands on hips, glowering down at Kevin’s supine form. Kevin had to stifle a giggle. “Yes, Sir, thank you.” He pulled at the ropes, his arms were at full stretch, but he wasn’t uncomfortably extended. “Thank God for that.” Joey got onto the bed and lowered himself over Kevin,

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stopping his descent just before their skin touched. He then began to hover, moving backwards and forwards over his bound lover. Kevin could just feel Joey’s chest hairs whispering across his own smooth skin. He so wanted to let go of the ropes and pull Joey onto him, to wrap his small puny arms around him and melt into him. The feather-light caresses were both maddening and arousing. Kevin wanted, needed to feel the whole of Joey’s bulk pressing into him. But knowing he had to endure his sweet torture, he lay as still as he could, and just rode out the exquisite feelings as he was taken on a gentle velvet-lined ride to heaven. “There, I think that was about five minutes, don’t you?” Joey’s voice drifted into Kevin’s fogged brain. “Huh?” “That was your punishment for not telling me about your sore arse.” “Huh?” Kevin repeated, regaining more of his faculties. “But I thought…” He was silenced by Joey pressing his lips on his. “You wanted more contact didn’t you? You wanted me to press just that little bit harder into you?” “Uh, yeah.” Kevin nodded. “The fact I didn’t was my punishment, Pup.” Joey stroked a finger down Kevin’s cheek, the sensation causing goosebumps to ripple through his bound frame. “It’s called keeping you on your toes. You’ll never know in advance what I’m gonna do to you.” Joey smiled tenderly. “Okay, let’s get this show on the road for real.” Joey sprung off the bed and retrieved the bottle of massage oil. The sudden absence of his security blanket left Kevin feeling cold. This wasn’t helped when the first squirt of oil made contact with his chest, causing him to shudder involuntarily. “Sorry, Pup, it must have cooled down again.” “It’s okay, Sir.” “Now I want you to close your eyes, relax, and let me work out all the tension I can feel in your muscles.” For the next ten minutes, Kevin lay perfectly still as the strong but gentle fingers of his lover traced their way across his body. They seemed to instinctively find and smooth away all his

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knots. The feel of Joey’s large hands rubbing up and down his body was a real turn on, causing him to pump out a steady stream of pre-seminal fluid. When Joey spread Kevin’s legs and began to massage his lover’s inner thighs, Kevin found it almost impossible to stand the rising crescendo of his lust. Kevin whimpered, “Please, Sir, I gotta come.” Joey laughed evilly. “Not yet, Pup.” Kevin growled but didn’t let go of the ropes. Joey teased him for a further five minutes, bringing him close to the edge, then backing off again. Kevin had long since closed his eyes, though they flew open when he felt an alien sensation around his cock. To his utter amazement and overwhelming joy, Joey was sucking him off. All that now existed in Kevin’s universe was his cock, and the warm wetness that surrounded it. Joey pulled back, leaving only the head of Kevin’s dick in his mouth. When Joey tickled the exposed cock head with the tip of his tongue, Kevin’s body arched upwards, forcing more of his meat into Joey. Kevin’s brain was fried, it could no longer cope with the level of sensations that were being sent to it, so it shut down. Kevin had no idea how long he lay there, holding his ropes, before his senses began functioning again. When he opened his eyes, he saw a smiling Joey sitting on the side of the bed next to him. “Uh, what happened?” “You blacked out, I think,” Joey said, stroking Kevin’s hair. “Wow.” Was all Kevin could find to say. Joey chuckled, “'Wow’ just about covers it. I’ll let you rest for a minute, then we’ll have round two.” “Round two?” Kevin didn’t think he could cope with more. However, to his amazement his dick was beginning to harden again. This undoubtedly was due to the fact that he was gazing lovingly up at the man who meant the whole world to him. “Ready?” “Uh, yeah.” Kevin hoped he was. “Hold on tight, then,” Joey said,straddling Kevin’s supine

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form and laying his body on top. This time, Kevin felt more of Joey’s weight resting on him, though he was certain Joey still kept most of it on his knees and forearms. Beginning slowly, but steadily building in intensity, Kevin was treated to a sensual crotch grinding, combined with a mind blowing full body rub. The oil that Joey had earlier spread liberally over Kevin’s front now helped Joey slide seductively and effortlessly along his lover’s body. Kevin knew he would have writhed uncontrollably in an effort to get more contact with Joey if the bigger man weren’t so firmly atop him. “You’re perfect,” Joey moaned out in a low voice. He paused his rubbing momentarily to lick at Kevin’s ear. “Your smaller size, the fact that you’re not as strong as me, is a fucking turn on.” Kevin felt the grinding and rubbing resume. “I get off on being able to dominate you, control everything you do.” Instead of feeling intimidated by Joey’s words, Kevin derived comfort, security, a sense of belonging. At last he’d found someone he could serve, someone he could trust. He felt liberated, free. If he hadn’t been cocooned by the mattress underneath him and Joey’s undulating body above and around him, he knew he’d have floated to the ceiling on a tidal wave of joy. “I’m going to use all my strength to look after you, protect you. Now you’re mine, I’ll keep you safe, I’ll never let anyone hurt you ever again.” Kevin panted, ”Please don’t stop, please never stop. I love you, Sir. I love you so much.” “Can’t, I’m too close. Shoot with me. Come on. Fire, Pup, fire!” Joey gave a couple of shuddering thrusts before his whole body stiffened, and he let out a loud roar, which probably rattled the windows, but Kevin was too far gone to notice. Joey’s bellow was the final straw. Kevin’s body ejaculated its second load of semen between them. “Fucking hell!” Joey collapsed on top of Kevin, “That was bloody awesome!” It didn’t matter to Kevin that he was being crushed. But he could no longer stand the thought of not touching his sir. He let

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go of the ropes and hugged Joey fiercely around the neck. Joey’s weight was very comforting; Kevin could feel his lover’s heartbeat pounding against his own chest. After Joey caught his breath, he rolled off Kevin, but as the two were still connected, Kevin went with him, ending up on top. Joey pressed his lips lovingly against Kevin’s. “You were fucking fantastic.” Kevin relaxed his hold from Joey’s neck and settled his head on his lover’s wide left shoulder. Joey wrapped Kevin in a gentle hug. The two enjoyed a comfortable silence as their heart rates and respiration levels returned to normal. “Up until this evening,” Joey said, breaking the silence, “I’d never told another man that I loved him. But, Kevin Lawrence, you are loved.” Kevin couldn’t form any words to respond. He’d longed for someone to tell him that they loved him for more years than he cared to remember. Joey hadn’t just told him, he’d shown him, and he’d done so in the most powerful but gentle of ways. As Kevin continued to lie there, inhaling deep breaths of his big man’s musky scent, he knew he’d never felt so pampered, so cared for, so loved. “You okay?” Joey’s question brought Kevin back from wherever he’d been. “Uh huh.” Kevin sighed before snuggling closer to Joey’s sweaty body. “Good.” After another pause, Joey asked, “What time is it?” “Um,” Kevin looked over at Joey’s digital alarm clock. “Just after half-past one in the morning.” “Shit!” “You don’t have a job until the afternoon, and then it’s only to Hull docks.” Joey chuckled, “I’d forgotten you were my very own personal secretary.” “Just like to know where my sir is, that’s all.” “I’m bloody knackered.” Joey yawned. “Want to shower now, or do you wanna wait till tomorrow?” “You’re the one who makes all the decisions, remember?”

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“Oh yeah, I do, don’t I? We’ll sleep now, and shower in the morning, then.” Kevin listened as Joey’s breathing became slow and even. He marvelled at how quickly his lover could drop off to sleep. After sending up a quick prayer of thanks, he joined his man in dreamland.

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Chapter 6 It seemed no matter what time Kevin went to sleep, he always woke at the same hour the next morning. Waking up on Monday morning, however, Kevin didn’t want to get out of bed to start his day. Joey’s beefy right arm was wrapped protectively around him, pulling him against that wonderfully warm, firm chest. Kevin wished he could lie there all day. But his practical side kicked in. He knew he had to get up, and Joey’s flat was further away from the haulage company, so he’d have to allow for a longer bus ride. Reluctantly leaving the comfort of his lover’s embrace, Kevin climbed out of bed and headed toward the bathroom. After attending to his bodily functions, Kevin went back into the bedroom to dress. Joey was still lying there, his arm now hugging the pillow. Kevin couldn’t help the warm glow which suffused his body as he drank in the image of the powerfully built man sleeping peacefully. He’s amazing, Kevin thought, still having difficulty believing Joey really did love him. Dressing quickly in the clothes which Joey had insisted he bring, Kevin left the bedroom once again and set about making breakfast. Staring at the contents of Joey’s fridge, Kevin wondered what to make. He usually just had a bowl of cereal and a slice of toast, but he suspected Joey normally ate a more substantial meal. Kevin worried that Joey might not want to be woken at such an early hour, given that he didn’t have a job until the afternoon. Eventually deciding on scrambled eggs on toast, with a few beef sausages on the side, Kevin set to work with relish. He’d always derived enormous satisfaction from cooking for someone else. Not that he’d had much practice. Joey took care of him in so many ways, Kevin delighted that he was able to do something to return the favour. As he laid the beef sausages in the frying pan, he mused that at least he was feeding his man Kosher. He knew full well Joey didn’t bother about things like that, but somehow it was important to Kevin.

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After arranging their breakfast on a tray, Kevin picked it up and turned round. The shock of seeing a naked Joey standing next to him caused Kevin to start in alarm. Joey reached out and took the tray from Kevin’s shaking hands. “Sorry, Pup,” he yawned. “Did I scare you?” Kevin nodded and tried to force a smile. Joey put the tray onto the worktop and held out his arms to Kevin, who accepted the hug. “Were you gonna bring me breakfast in bed?” “Yes, Sir.” Joey yawned before delivering a quick peck to Kevin’s lips. Kevin didn’t mind his lover’s morning breath. Joey picked up the tray and headed for the bedroom, Kevin dutifully following along behind, admiring the view. Kevin was surprised and pleased when Joey told him he’d take him to work. “But, Sir, you don’t need to go in until this afternoon.” “I don’t, but you have to be there this morning,” Joey announced through a mouthful of scrambled egg. Feeling bold, Kevin reached up and kissed Joey’s cheek. “Thank you, Sir, I wasn’t sure of the bus route from here.” Joey shook his head. “Remember, Pup, you’re mine now. That means I take care of all the things which used to worry you.” Kevin didn’t trust his voice; he hoped the loving look he gave Joey conveyed what he couldn’t say. Swallowing a mouthful of food, Joey asked, “How’s your ankle this morning?” “Good.” In fact Kevin hadn’t even thought about it. “No pain at all.” Joey stared into Kevin’s eyes, and no doubt being satisfied with the truthfulness of his answer, nodded. “And your arse?” Kevin winced at having to discuss such things over breakfast, but knew his sir was just doing his job. “It’s a lot better, too.” ****

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Kevin had to remain standing in the car park for a couple of minutes after dismounting from Joey’s bike. He knew he couldn’t walk into the office with a hard on showing in his trousers. He’d gotten a real buzz out of weaving in and out of the morning rush hour traffic on the back of the Harley. Not to mention the fact that he could legitimately cuddle up to his lover in public. Noticing Kevin’s predicament, Joey had asked, “Is that a gun in your pocket, Pup, or were you just happy to ride with me?” Kevin had felt his cheeks beginning to burn. Before dropping his visor, Joey had blown Kevin a kiss. He had then revved his engine and circled Kevin before heading for the exit. Kevin had just stared lovingly at the retreating form of his leather clad Adonis. **** Unfortunately the happy start to the morning didn’t last. Mr Parker’s secretary had called in sick, leaving Kevin in charge of the office. The phone kept ringing off its cradle, Kevin being forced to answer it as well as attending to his own duties. Mr Parker was in a foul mood because he’d learned that a shipment would be delayed, “putting all my schedules out of sync.” Because Kevin didn’t have his glasses, he couldn’t work fast enough to re-arrange the driver schedules. To his dismay he realised it was Joey’s load that would be affected by the delay. Kevin’s slowness further infuriated Mr Parker, who kept up a steady stream of put downs and derogatory comments. During a momentary lull, Kevin rang round a few opticians, trying to get an appointment for an eye test, but no one could fit him in until the end of the week. Rubbing his eyes, he knew he’d certainly come back down to earth with a bump after his incredible weekend. The morning continued to deteriorate. It reached rock bottom when Mr Parker yelled at Kevin to come into his office. After dealing with the phone call he had been in the middle of, Kevin slunk into the inner sanctum, knowing he was in for

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another bollocking. “Look at this!” Parker said, jabbing his finger viciously at a time sheet. “You’ve written the bloody details in the wrong sodding column. What the fuck is wrong with you this morning!” Averting his eyes, Kevin tried to explain he couldn’t see properly because of his broken glasses, but Parker wasn’t interested. Kevin thought the old man was going to have a seizure when Kevin shyly told Mr Parker he’d have to leave the office to go and get a sandwich as he hadn’t brought lunch with him. “It’d only take half an hour, I’m supposed to have a full hour for lunch.” Kevin knew his pleas sounded ineffectual, but his weekend with the strong and confident Joey had given him sufficient courage to speak up. “Your duty is to run this office, especially as Susan isn’t here.” “No, it isn’t,” a deep voice said, startling Kevin, who turned round to see Joey in the door frame. “Kevin’s right, he’s entitled to have an hour for his lunch. Go on, get your coat. We’re eating out.” Kevin looked from one man to the other indecisively. He loved and felt an obligation to obey his sir, but Mr Parker was his boss, and going against him could prove unpleasant at best, and at worst…Kevin didn’t want to go there. He was frozen in place, not knowing what to do. “Now, Pup!” Joey said quietly but with increased authority. Kevin found his legs complying, while his brain continued to debate the point. Stepping to one side, Joey let him pass. “What the fuck! You’ve no say in what goes on in here. You do the driving, I do the decision making,” Parker barked. Standing by his desk in the outer office, Kevin winced; he hated the thought of a showdown, especially over him. He wanted to go back into the inner office and apologise, tell Mr Parker he’d miss lunch, he’d re-enter the figures, he’d do anything to make things right. “Jerry, when are you going to learn you can’t treat your employees like shit? That guy out there would wash the floor with his tongue if you asked him. You’ll never find a more

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conscientious worker, unlike that dozy cow of a secretary of yours. How come she’s not here anyway? Her time of the month again?” Kevin winced; no other employee could get away with calling Mr Parker by his first name. “She said something about backache.” Joey snorted. “It’s been hell in here today. Potter’s have just rung up to say that your load has been delayed. By the time you get on your way, you’ll be too late for the ferry. Then I’ll have the Belgians on my back about late delivery.” “And how much of that is Kevin’s fault?” “He fucked up the time sheets. Says he can’t see without his glasses. He ought to have a spare pair.” “You don’t pay him enough for that. Anyway I’m going to get all that sorted over lunch.” “And just who’s gonna man the office?” “Jerry,” It sounded as though Joey was beginning to lose his cool. “Kevin will be a much more efficient worker if he can see right. And as I said, he’s entitled to a lunch break. If you’d employed a secretary on her IQ rather than her chest measurement, you wouldn’t be in the mess you’re in now.” “It’s none of your bloody business who I hire!” Kevin wanted to dive under his desk. He thought at any second Mr Parker was going to collapse unconscious or something. “And while we’re on about hiring staff,” Joey’s tone remained reasonable, but Kevin could tell there was a hidden steeliness. “I want you to give Cal Briggs the boot.” “Aye? Who the fuck do you think you are?” “Your chief driver. I worked for this firm when you only had two lorries and an empty order book. I helped build up this business, and you know it. Cal’s trouble, not to say useless. You know he is. I’m pretty sure he’s been taking on extra jobs and not putting them through the books. Get Kevin to take a look through the odometer records. I bet if you check the number of miles he’s declaring, they’ll be a lot higher than what they should be for the runs he does.”

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Kevin’s blood ran cold. He knew Cal would hit the roof— as well as him—if he ever found out his activities had been investigated. Cal never liked Kevin touching his paperwork, and ever since their break up, that had suited Kevin perfectly. And where on earth would he find the time to check all those figures anyway? “It won’t be that easy to prove. Briggs is bound to fight it, and if the fucking union gets involved, it’ll get really ugly.” “I am the fucking union round here, and I’ll make sure Cal doesn’t get anywhere. You do your bit, Jerry, and I’ll do mine.” Joey marched out of Jerry’s office, took hold of Kevin’s arm roughly, and pulled him out of the room. “Sir?” Kevin struggled, Joey’s grip was hurting him. “Sorry, Pup.” Joey let go of Kevin’s arm then rubbed it gently. “How long’s Parker been treating you like a doormat?” Kevin shuffled his feet. “I see,” Joey said, looking levelly at Kevin. “Some changes will have to be made round here. But we’ll worry about that later.” “Sir, I’m scared. Cal isn’t going to like it when he finds out I’ve been checking up on him. He’s…” Kevin looked down. “I’m scared.” He repeated. Joey gave Kevin a sideways hug. “You’re mine now, I’ll protect you. Remember I warned him off the other day, next time I see him I’ll remind him that you’re mine, and he better keep his distance if he doesn’t want to suck hospital food through a straw.” Despite Joey’s words, Kevin wasn’t particularly reassured. “Come on,” Joey looked at his watch. “You’ve got an appointment at the optician’s in ten minutes.” “I rang round all the ones in town this morning, and none of them could fit me in.” “My uncle works at the one on the high street. I called him this morning.” **** Joey was seething inwardly as he sat in the waiting room

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while Kevin’s eyes were being tested. That fucking waste of space Parker had been lording it over his pup all morning. Why was Kevin so willing to let people walk all over him? Why didn’t he stand up for himself? Then Joey remembered Kevin had actually put up a bit of a defence against the loss of his dinner hour. I just need to toughen him up some more. However, he knew Kevin would always be a lover rather than a fighter. Joey smiled for the first time since he’d walked into the office. Hopefully Parker will get off his fat arse and do something about Briggs. Woe betide that scum-bag if he so much as looks at Kevin the wrong way. Joey felt his jaw tighten and his fists clench. With a bit of luck, the slimy piece of shit will crawl under a rock somewhere when Parker fires him. Joey was snapped out of his thoughts when he saw Kevin emerge from the back room. “If you’ll just pick out the frames you want, we can set about grinding the lenses,” the female optometrist said. Kevin peered at a few of the frames on the rack, paying more attention to the price tags than anything else. “He’ll have these,” Joey stood up and tapped a pair of goldcoloured thin wire frames that he knew would suit Kevin’s face. “But, they’re—” Kevin began. “Those are very popular,” the woman said quickly, no doubt because the chosen frame was one of the most expensive. “But they’ll only support the new kind of thin lenses, not the ones Mr Lawrence is going to have.” “Can his prescription be made from these new thin lenses?” Joey asked. “Certainly. But we don’t offer those in our budget range.” “It’s okay, these will be fine.” Kevin pointed to frames in thick brown plastic. “No they won’t. Plastic snaps, wire bends. Plus you’ll look really brainy in these.” Joey didn’t add they’d also make his pup look sexy. Lifting the wire-rimmed frames from the display Joey handed them to the optometrist. “With the thin lenses.” The woman, obviously realising Joey was the one making all the decisions asked him, “Will Mr Lawrence like us to add a

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scratch-resistant coating?” “No, that’s okay,” Kevin said. “Yes, please,” Joey said at the same time. The woman made a note on her clipboard. “My uncle Joshua said he’d make sure the specs would be ready by close of business today,” Joey said. The woman looked momentarily surprised but just made a few more notes on her clipboard. After paying the bill, Joey turned to a bewildered-looking Kevin. “Come on then, Pup. We’ll just have time to grab a quick sandwich before you have to get back to the grindstone.” Kevin meekly agreed and followed Joey out of the shop. As they sat eating, Joey could tell Kevin was uncomfortable about something. “Okay, spill.” “Sir, I know you said you’d look after me and all that, but it’s not right you paying for my glasses. And I didn’t need an expensive pair anyway.” “I was responsible for your old pair getting scratched. And I won’t have any more of this ‘I don’t deserve expensive things’ crap.” “But—” “The matter’s closed. Now eat up. We best not wind up old Parker any more than we have to.” Joey knew Kevin was still brooding, Why the hell did he always come out with all this inferiority shit? Once they’d finished eating, Joey paid the bill. A protesting Kevin was then steered out of the door. “I don’t want to hear it.” Joey stood on the pavement, hands on hips, glaring down at Kevin, who soon ceased his feeble complaints. Softening his tone, Joey continued, “I know you’re worried about Cal. But please don’t. I’m here now. Okay?” “Yes, Sir, thank you.” Kevin treated Joey to a weak smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “That’s my brave pup. Now will you be okay for the rest of the afternoon without your specs? I won’t be back in time to take you for them.” “I’ll be all right.”

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“’Course, you could always call in sick.” “Oh, no, Sir. That wouldn’t be right.” “Nah, you’re way too conscientious to do that sort of thing.” Reaching out, Joey ruffled Kevin’s hair, not caring they were in public. After walking Kevin back to the office, Joey drove his empty lorry to the bathroom factory and waited around until they were ready. Judging it’d move things along more quickly, he helped load up. Locking the rear doors of his lorry, Joey looked at his watch, and thought he might just make the night ferry if he didn’t dawdle. It would certainly put him in old Parker’s good books if the shipment was made on time. The Belgian contract was an important one, and Joey knew the haulage company would suffer if it was lost. He was in luck. The traffic on the motorway wasn’t too heavy, so he was able to get to Hull in the nick of time. Fortunately his load was dealt with by a shipping agent he knew, so the paperwork didn’t take too long either. “Um, as a thank you to me for sneaking your load on board past time, how’s about me and you getting into the back of your cab, and testing out the bed springs?” The wiry port official asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Joey’s dick immediately twitched at the thought. He’d had an enjoyable romp with the guy the last time their paths had crossed. Reaching for the handle of the cab door, ready to climb up, Joey’s body froze. “Come on, I haven’t got all day,” the guy said, rubbing at Joey’s arse through his worn jeans. “I need a good seeing to before I finish work and go home to the missus.” The bloke’s wandering hands caused Joey to shudder involuntarily. The guy must have mistaken it for desire, because he increased his rubbing. Joey was snapped out of his inactivity, he spun himself round and pushed the guy violently away. The man fell to the ground, his limbs waving in the air, a confused and hurt look on his face. “Get the fuck away from me!” Joey said through clenched

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teeth. He knew most of his anger was aimed at himself. He’d almost given in, almost cheated on Kevin. It had been so close. If he’d climbed into his cab, he wouldn’t have been able to put a stop to his desires. Joey felt totally disgusted at his weakness to resist the first bit of arse that offered itself to him. “What the fuck’s got into you? You turning straight on me?” The guy got up and began to dust himself down, but wisely kept his distance. The fight suddenly drained out of Joey. He sagged against the side of his cab. What the fuck was going on? “You okay, mate?” The port agent now seemed more concerned than angry. Joey shook his head. In an almost whisper, he said, “I’ve found someone.” Joey felt his cheeks get hot. “I,” Joey swallowed, “I love him. And I feel really shitty about what I almost just did.” He turned to face his cab and rested his head on his arms. “It’s okay, mate.” Joey felt the man put a hand on his shoulder. When he didn’t shrug it off, the man began to gently massage it. “God, you’ve got it bad, haven’t you?” “It scares the fucking shit out of me,” Joey said barely above a whisper, his head still laying on his arms. “Look, the ferry sails in about half an hour. You wanna stick around and maybe we could go and have a coffee and a talk?” Joey tensed. Was the guy still after getting into his underpants? Could he, would he fend him off? “Just to talk. I think you need a sympathetic ear.” Joey realised opening up to someone just might help. The whole thing with Kevin had happened so suddenly. Up until Friday night, he’d been doing his usual thing, not a care in the world, then bang! Joey lifted his head and turned to face the guy, he realised he didn’t even know his name. “Thanks, a coffee sounds good.” The other guy smiled broadly, “Okay, go and park your rig in the short term lorry park. I’ll come and find you when I’ve done here. It’ll be all right, you know.” Joey smiled stupidly. He gave the guy a quick hug before

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climbing into his cab and starting the engine. **** To Joey’s relief, the café was relatively empty. He headed towards the booths at the back, feeling they’d get more privacy if he and the guy couldn’t be seen from the street. The guy took off his heavy winter jacket before sitting opposite Joey. Joey was having serious second thoughts about revealing the intimate details of his heart; he’d never been one for deep and meaningful discussions, especially with a comparative stranger. But perhaps because he didn’t really know the bloke, it might be easier. “Come here often?” Joey winced at the banality of his opening salvo. The lines around the other guy’s eyes crinkled in amusement. Studying him closely for the first time, Joey estimated the man was in his late forties or early fifties. There were several strands of grey in the man’s brown hair, as well as in his full beard. He seemed to have a kind and understanding face, one Joey felt he could trust, though he couldn’t put his finger on why. “God, that must be the lamest pick up line in the history of pick up lines. But,” he sighed, “sadly you’re not here to chat me up. Want a Danish pastry to go with your coffee?” “Uh, yeah, go on then.” Joey wasn’t interested in coffee, much less food, but perhaps they would prove a distraction, making it easier for him to tell his tale. Joey realised he needed to confide in someone, get a second opinion, confirm he wasn’t going loopy. After the elderly waitress had disinterestedly taken their order, Joey guessed he ought to begin. “Um, this ain’t easy for me.” The other guy smiled and nodded for him to continue. “Sorry, I don’t even know your name. That’s so typical of me, the old me,” Joey was quick to add. “You’ve sucked my dick, and I don’t even know what to call you.”

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The guy’s smile grew broader. “It’s Ted.” “Thanks.” Joey played absentmindedly with the packets of sweetener in the red plastic sugar bowl. He found he couldn’t look directly into Ted’s eyes. “I’ve never wanted to settle down. Didn’t think I was the type. I’d always thought monogamy was for the straights. I’m gay, and I’ve never had any problem getting blokes into bed. My life was great, plenty of variety, nobody to push me into doing things I didn’t want to do.” “But,” Ted put in when Joey stopped talking and wasn’t sure how to go on. “But.” Joey let out a long sigh. “Wham! when I wasn’t looking, someone came into my life and turned it upside-down, inside-out or however you wanna put it.” “What’s his name?” “Kevin,” Joey breathed out softly, even the mention of his lover’s name caused a tingle to wash through him. “So, tell me about Kevin. What’s he managed to do, that no other man has been able to?” Joey closed his eyes momentarily. In truth he didn’t know. “He kind of made me care for him, look after him, protect him. I didn’t even know I wanted to do those things. He’s smaller than me, more…more…” Joey tried to grasp for the right word. “Needful?” “Um, yeah, I suppose that covers it. He’s been in an abusive relationship, I don’t think he’s told me quite how abusive. But despite that, he’s still sweet and—though he doesn’t agree with me—he’s really strong inside, you know?” Ted nodded. “I’ve heard people say that they fell in love with someone at first sight. I always thought that was a load of bollocks. I can’t say that I fell for Kevin the first time I clapped eyes on him. He’s worked at Parker’s for a couple of years. I’ve seen him in the office loads of times, but not really seen him, you know? Kevin’s really good at blending into the background.” Ted nodded for him to continue. “He slipped in a patch of engine oil on the car park at work, it was pissing it down, and the poor bugger was soaked to

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the skin. When I picked him up, he was all trembling and what have you. The poor sod was afraid of me. That gave me a bit of a jolt, that someone was actually scared of me. I mean I’d barely spoken half a dozen words to him before.” “You do cut quite an imposing figure, you know.” They paused as the waitress drew near. “We’re out of Danish,” she said, none too gently putting their drinks and food on the table. “so you’ve got curd tarts.” Joey stared at the gravy and grease stains on the woman’s apron, wondering why he was paying attention to such trivialities. Pushing the corner of the till receipt under the sugar bowl, the woman departed. “Right little ray of sunshine that one, eh?” Ted observed, sipping from his tall mug. Joey couldn’t help grinning when some of the milk froth adhered to the guy’s moustache. “So, how long have you and Kevin been together?” Ted reached for his food and took a bite. “Since Friday.” “What?” Ted sprayed pastry crumbs over the table. After wiping his mouth on his sleeve he looked up at Joey. “Last Friday, the one just gone?” “Uh huh. I’ve got it bad, haven’t I? This mean and macho lorry driver, going all ga-ga over a little brown-haired, browneyed bloke.” “I’ll say.” “I’m fucking shitting my pants about it. You see, Kevin’s very submissive. It’d be so easy to crush him. Like I said, he’s not long come out of a bad relationship, and he’s so timid, one wrong move from me, and he’s like this quivering lump of blubber on the floor.” “Shit, that’s heavy stuff. You sure you’re up to dealing with all that?” Joey shook his head. “Don’t have a choice. It’s not easy, though. I’ve never had to consider anyone else before, but now I have to think as a couple. Kevin needs me to make all the

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decisions.” “Fuck, I know you like being in control and all that, but this is like, for real.” “I know.” Joey sighed. “But I keep coming back to the fact that I’m head-over-heels in love with the little sod. I go all warm and…well, you get the idea, each time I think of him. Shit, I sound like a fucking Valentine’s card.” Ted laughed. “I just hope I can be all he needs. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a right fucking turn on to have someone call you ‘sir’ and do everything you tell ’em to, but it’d be way too easy to push him too far. Go beyond his limits. He doesn’t like saying no to me, and…oh, shit, it’s really heavy.” Joey ran his fingers through his closely cropped hair. Ted stayed silent, seeming to ponder. “You don’t regret starting something with Kevin do you?” “Christ, no.” Joey was certain of that. “He’s already made a fucking big difference to my life. Gives me a real buzz when I carry him about, take care of him and all that crap. But it’s just he looks at me as though I’m some perfect god or something, and I ain’t. I’m scared that when he finds out I’m just human like he is, he’ll think a lot less of me.” “I doubt it. He loves you. I bet when he sees that you’re not perfect, it’ll actually be easier to love you. Does he think he’s unworthy of you?” Joey nodded. “Oh yeah, god knows where he gets all that shit from.” “Probably his last relationship. Like you said, he’s submissive, so it’s likely that he’ll have a low opinion of himself. Heck, I’m no psychologist, psychiatrist or whatever. You two will just have to take it slow, learn about each other.” Peeking at his watch, Joey said, “Look, I better be going.” “Can’t bear to be parted from your lover any longer, eh?” Ted smirked. Joey blushed. “Err, yeah. Um, thanks, you know…thanks for…” Joey was lost for words. Ted shrugged. “You’re welcome, mate. But I didn’t really

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do anything.” Joey stood up and squeezed Ted’s shoulder affectionately. “Trust me, mate, you did.” The weather had taken a severe turn for the worse. Breaking into a steady jog, Joey pulled up the collar of his leather jacket, trying to get some relief from the biting wind and heavy rain. As he waited at a road junction for the lights to change, he flipped open his mobile phone and called Kevin, who answered on the second ring. “It’s me, Pup,” Joey said before Kevin could get out his greeting. “Sir?” Kevin sounded surprised but happy to hear Joey’s voice, which pleased the older man tremendously. Joey wanted to say ‘It’s good to hear your voice’, but something inside of him prevented the words from coming out. “Um, did you pick up your glasses, are they okay?” “Yes, thank you, Sir, they’re great.” “Good.” Joey didn’t want to talk about mundane things like spectacles. “Listen, I’m still in Hull. Grab a sandwich or something, we’ll go out to eat when I get back.” “Whatever you say, Sir, but I really don’t mind cooking.” “I know, but I don’t want you slaving over a hot stove.” “I enjoy it, especially when it’s for you.” That warm tingly feeling washed through Joey’s body again. The lights changed and he began to cross. “Okay, whatever you say. Thank you.” His teeth started chattering. The wind seemed to cut right through him. “I’ll be home in a couple of hours or so, okay?” “Okay, Sir.” Joey said goodbye and closed his phone. Then he realised he hadn’t told Kevin that he loved him. Trying to push away his thoughts, dismissing them as being overly sappy, he quickened his step. But it was no use, he couldn’t escape the thought that he’d not ended the call properly. Fuck this! I’m turning into a right mushy bugger! Next thing I’ll be buying boxes of chocolates and red roses for him. Once he’d reached the lorry park and the shelter of his

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cab, Joey opened up his phone and called Kevin again, his breath coming out in short excited gasps. When the phone wasn’t picked up immediately, Joey’s heart began to pound in anticipation, and his palms started sweating. When the call was eventually answered, in one breath Joey got out, “Just had to tell you that I love you.” There was a momentary silence at the other end; Joey hoped he hadn’t dialled the wrong number. Then he heard a sniffle, before Kevin spoke. “I love you too, Sir, very much.” “You okay?” “Yes, Sir, never better.” Joey let out the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. “Okay, I’m setting off now.” “Please drive safely.” “I promise.” Joey had to break the connection before his emotions got out of hand. for fuck’s sake! He banged his head on his steering wheel to try and knock some sense into his head. **** The traffic on the journey back was interminable. Joey found himself stuck behind at least two accidents; the earlier drizzle had turned into heavy sleet, making driving conditions hazardous. Taking heed of Kevin’s plea, he slowed down his speed and kept his distance between himself and the car in front. The wipers battled hard to keep the windscreen clear. Eventually his junction came up, and Joey gratefully exited the motorway and drove his unladen lorry along the smaller roads, until the very welcome sight of Parker’s Haulage came into view. Bless his heart, Kevin had prepared the papers ready for signature. So it only took Joey a few moments to sign off the job, before plunging back into the wintry outdoors. Angrily kicking the front tyre of his bike, Joey cursed loudly at the fact that the fucking engine wouldn’t start. He resisted the urge to try the starter too often, knowing he’d flood the carburettor. Joey knew he’d have to take the Harley to a garage to get it looked at. Ever since its last service, it had had trouble firing when

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the weather was especially wet. The machine was a little on the big side to push, but in the absence of a convenient hill, Joey had few other options. It wasn’t until the second traverse of the deserted car park before the engine coughed apologetically into life. Swearing at how cold and wet he was, Joey straddled his machine and made his way to Kevin’s place. Joey could barely feel his fingers as he stowed his crash helmet. The sleet had turned to rain, but the wind—which had gotten up—made the water just as cold as its icy predecessor. He couldn’t help thinking that his mother had a point, he wouldn’t have to face the elements so much if he owned a car. But there was just something about being on a bike, which Joey knew he could never give up. Fortunately there was someone coming out of the building when Joey approached the main entrance, so he grabbed the door before it closed. By the time he reached Kevin’s door, he couldn’t stop shivering. He hoped the kettle would be on; he could murder a cup of strong coffee. Joey barely had time to remove his hand from the door before it was cautiously opened to reveal a concerned Kevin. “Sir!” Kevin plastered himself against Joey’s wet and cold body and gave him a hug. “I’ve been so worried. You look half drowned.” Amused by Kevin’s greeting, Joey said, “It’s raining.” Kevin opened the door wider to allow Joey to come in. Thankfully the room was pleasantly warm, and there was a heavenly smell of food, too. Joey’s stomach rumbled. Turning to his bespectacled lover, Joey said, “I was right, those specs do make you look brainy, and sexy.” Kevin blushed, “They feel so different from my old pair.” He reached up and touched the frames. “They’re so light. Thank you, Sir.” Kevin stood on tip-toe and kissed Joey’s cheek before fawning all over him. “You’ll catch your death. Come on, take off these wet clothes. Please, Sir, stand nearer to the fire. No, on second thoughts, sit down.” Kevin moved a couple of magazines from the chair and pulled it closer to the hissing gas fire. Joey handed Kevin his jacket before sitting down. Loosening his belt, Joey said, “You just wanna get me naked,

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don’t you?” Joey pulled off his jeans, which Kevin hung to dry along with his other clothes. He was touched by all that Kevin was doing to make him comfortable. Previously he’d never had anyone to come home to, no-one to look after him, have a meal waiting for him. “You’re still shivering,” Kevin said. “And you feel like a block of ice.” “I got soaked when I had to push-start the bike.” Kevin sank to his knees in front of Joey and worked off his socks. To Joey’s amazement his lover then bent his head and began to kiss his bare feet. Joey’s dick—which had been at half bone since he’d walked in—sprang to full hardness and pressed up against his abs. Although he had some reservations about how subservient Kevin was becoming, he couldn’t deny it was a fucking turn on watching and feeling someone worshipping his body like this. Sticking out his tongue, Kevin began to lick along the tops of Joey’s feet, before gently taking each frozen toe into his mouth, and reverentially sucking on them, warming them in the most erotic way. Joey moaned, he knew he was in danger of shooting his load. When Kevin had sucked on all ten toes, he raised his head, a broad smile of satisfaction on his lips. “Where did you learn that trick?” Joey asked. “I dunno. It was something I just knew I had to do.” Kevin dipped his head. “It was fucking hot.” Patting his knee, Joey said, “Com’ere.” Kevin climbed into the chair and snuggled down. Joey pulled his arms round his pup; the man just seemed to fit so perfectly. “Missed you this afternoon.” Joey stuck his nose into Kevin’s hair and took a couple of deep sniffs and closed his eyes. Kevin’s scent was clean and homely, comforting and reassuring. “When I heard that there’d been a couple of accidents on the motorway, well, I…”

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Joey gave Kevin a squeeze. “I promised you I’d drive safely, didn’t I?” “I know, Sir, sorry.” Joey turned Kevin’s face towards him and after removing Kevin’s glasses, laid a tender kiss on each of his closed eyelids. Then his stomach rumbled, causing Kevin to giggle. “What’s for dinner? I’m starved.” Kevin broke from the embrace, climbed down from Joey’s lap and stepped over to his tiny kitchen. It consisted of little more than a couple of basic cupboards topped by a sink and draining board. A small cooker with two burners and an even smaller fridge completed the set up. “When I saw how the weather was closing in, I thought I’d best make you a beef casserole.” Joey’s mouth watered. “Smells great.” Kevin removed a brown earthenware pot from the oven and set it on the top of the stove. “I knew this wouldn’t spoil if you happened to be late.” Joey stepped closer and peered over Kevin’s shoulder at the rich brown contents of the cooking pot. “Are those dumplings?” “Yes, Sir,” Kevin turned round. “That’s okay isn’t it? I don’t know what you like. I can always make something else if you—” Joey put a finger to Kevin’s lips. “I love dumplings. You trying to fatten me up?” Kevin smiled warmly before returning his attention to the food. “Please, Sir, go and sit back down in front of the fire. It’s a bit draughty over here. I’ll bring it over when I’ve dished up.” Joey made his way back to the chair, and poked his bare feet at the glowing fire. Kevin soon presented him with a lap tray containing a large bowl of steaming hot stew. “Not sure I’ll be able to eat all of this.” Joey dipped his spoon into the rich gravy, blew on the spoon’s contents before bringing it to his lips. “Wow, this’s grand.” “It’s an old family recipe. Although I had to use vegetarian suet for the dumplings ’cause the normal stuff isn’t Kosher.” Joey opened his mouth to remind Kevin he didn’t observe,

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but his lover had returned to dish up his own, smaller, serving. Joey wondered where Kevin was going to sit, as he had the only chair. His unasked question was soon answered, when Kevin sank to his knees and leant against Joey’s legs. “You sure you’re comfortable down there?” Kevin looked up, his brown eyes—framed by his new glasses—radiating deep contentment. “I’m fine, Sir, I’m where I want to be.” Joey set down his bowl and lovingly patted Kevin’s head. The two ate in companionable silence, the only noises coming from the hissing gas fire and the wind blowing angrily outside. Joey felt a deep sense of contentment: he was warm, well fed, and had his lover close at hand. After he’d eaten his fill, Joey set the bowl back on the tray, put it on the floor and sighed happily. “That was bloody fantastic, Pup, thank you.” Kevin smiled happily up at him. Looking at the curtained window, and hearing the rain being hurled against the glass, Joey said, “Can’t say I’m looking forward to the ride home.” “Sir?” Peering down at Kevin’s anxious face, Joey asked, “You want me to stay?” The face brightened considerably. “Go on then, you’ve twisted my arm.” Kevin rose to his knees, twisted round and wrapped his arms around Joey’s middle. Stroking Kevin’s back affectionately, Joey said, “This is the life.” His exposed penis began to rise with the friction of rubbing against Kevin’s wool clad chest. “Careful, Joey Junior’s waking up.” Kevin giggled. “It’s getting late, um, if you want to take a shower, then I think you’d best not wait too much longer. Otherwise all the hot water will have gone.” “Jesus, I don’t know how you manage not having hot water all the time.” “You get used to it,” Kevin quietly said. Looking round at his lover’s clean but cramped and poorly maintained accommodation, Joey’s heart ached. Despite having

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a whirlwind beginning, Joey knew he couldn’t ask Kevin to move in with him. It was too soon, and there was the problem of his mother. Joey sighed. He hated that Kevin had to live in a place like this, but there was little he could do to change things. Making an effort to sound cheerful, Joey said, “Come on then, strip.” “Uh? I usually get undressed in the bathroom.” Joey shook his head. Kevin groaned, “Not again.” But he began to disrobe. **** “How’s your arse and your ankle?” Joey asked as he ran a soapy finger down Kevin’s crack. “Haven’t had a twinge out of either all day.” Joey turned Kevin to face him, and, just like that morning, looked right into his lover’s eyes. Kevin was able to hold his gaze. “Honest, Sir. I can’t lie to you, not over something like that.” Despite the shower Joey noticed a tear form in the corner of Kevin’s right eye before he looked away. “Sorry, Pup. I shouldn’t have doubted you.” “It’s okay, Sir.” “Forgive me?” Kevin looked up in surprise. “There’s nothing to forgive. You were protecting me, like you promised. No one, before you, thought enough about me to want to do that.” After releasing Kevin from a hug, Joey said, “Now come on, let me finish washing you.” Joey rubbed the soap between his palms and built up a good lather. He then slowly ran his hands along Kevin’s thin and under-developed chest. He could easily feel all of his lover’s ribs. “I’m gonna get you in at my gym. A good diet and plenty of exercise will soon get you bulked up.” “I might have to wait a month or two. Those places are really expensive.” “Won’t cost you a penny.”

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“Sir, I can’t let you pay for that, too. It’s not right. You buy me too much as it is.” Joey continued to lovingly wash his man, using the time to organise his thoughts. “Tell me, Pup, when you were cooking that meal this afternoon, did it make you feel good? Did you get pleasure from doing something for me?” “Oh, yes, Sir, it made me really happy. You’re always doing so much for me, looking after me, protecting me.” Kevin swallowed. “And loving me. So it’s great when I can do something for you.” “It’s just the same for me. I’m happy when I do things for you. You see?” “But that meal didn’t cost nowhere near as much as, say, a gym membership. And when you add all the other wonderful stuff you’ve done for me. Well, Sir, you do loads more for me than I do for you.” Joey turned off the water and pulled back the shower curtain. Reaching for a towel he started to rub his pup dry. “It’s not how much something costs, it’s the pleasure it gives. Pup, you give me so much. You’ve given me yourself. That’s…” Joey paused his rubbing, “To me that’s worth more than what I do for you. I feel on top of the world each time you let me do stuff to you.” “I just know I’m going to wake up in a minute, and none of this will be real.” Joey pinched Kevin’s left nipple firmly. “Ouch!” Kevin jumped backwards. “Still dreaming, Pup?” Kevin’s face lit up. “Well, this gorgeous stud who’s gonna bugger my brains out later tonight, is still standing in front of me. So I suppose I’m still dreaming.” “Cheeky sod.” “But seriously, Sir, I still think you do so much more for me.” “Don’t you think you’re worth it?” Joey went on quickly; he knew Kevin had low self-esteem. “Well I think you are, and as I’m the dominant one in this relationship, what I say goes, okay?” Kevin smiled. “Okay.” Once Kevin was dry, Joey began to towel himself off.

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“Now that we’ve got all that worked out, I’m gonna sort you out with that gym membership I promised.” Joey put his hands on his hips and looked at Kevin, daring him to disagree. “Okay, Sir, I accept, thank you.” Joey smiled broadly. “Actually it won’t cost all that much anyway. I get a discount ’cause one of my uncles works there.” “How many uncles have you got?” “Five, well, six actually, but one’s a real black sheep, and we don’t talk about him. Well, Mum doesn’t.” “Oh?” Joey looked down. He didn’t want to spoil their happy mood, but as they’d been honest with one another up until that point, he knew he couldn’t pull down the shutters. “He’s in prison for molesting little kids.” Kevin gasped. “Mum thinks he’s gay, I’m not so sure. She thinks all gay men are like Uncle Frank. That’s why I can’t come out to her.” Kevin gave Joey’s shoulder a squeeze. “It’s okay, Sir, sorry I asked.” “No, it’s fine. I suppose every family’s got a skeleton in their cupboard, and Uncle Frank’s ours.” Needing to change the subject, Joey put their only towel over his shoulder and said, “Right, we’re done in here. It’s time to flash the neighbours.” Ignoring Kevin’s groans of protest, Joey slid back the bolt and stepped out, not checking if anyone was in the hall. He had Kevin’s key in his hand, but didn’t rush to unlock the door. It had been draughty in the hallway; Kevin’s teeth had begun to chatter, so Joey turned the gas fire back on again. “Don’t suppose there’s much worth watching on the telly,” Joey said, approaching Kevin’s portable TV. “I don’t have cable or satellite, just the five ordinary channels.” “Sor-right, I’m sure we’ll find something.” As he flicked through what was available, Kevin exclaimed, “Starsky And Hutch! I’d forgotten that was on tonight.” Deciding an old American cop show was probably the best of a bad bunch, Joey sat back down to watch. “You’re a fan, then?”

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“Yeah, David Soul’s just so yummy, don’t you think?” Joey shook his head. “Come on, then, we’ll watch it together.” He patted his bare lap; Kevin didn’t need a second invitation. He raced to his bed, pulled off the duvet and settled it over the two of them. Joey soon grew bored with the show; he’d often thought it was a bit unrealistic that two under-cover cops drove around in a bright red car. “I remember this one.” Kevin said, eyes still glued to the screen. “Starsky gets hurt, and when he goes to casualty, sorry I mean the ER, that woman there, she was his nurse. They start seeing each other, but she goes all weird and puts their undercover operation in danger.” “Well, now I know what’s gonna happen, I don’t need to watch the rest of it, do I?” “Sorry, Sir. Didn’t mean to spoil it for you.” “S'okay, Pup,” Joey yawned. “I’m too knackered to concentrate anyway.” “We can switch it off if you like.” “Nah.” Joey didn’t add that he was reluctant to move from his very comfortable position. A dark, warm and cosy room, his naked lover curled up in his lap, a quilt covering them. No, life didn’t get any sweeter than this, he thought, running his fingertips along Kevin’s spine. “When I was a kid,” Kevin said sleepily, “I used to dream about being a detective, and having a partner like Ken Hutchinson.” He sighed, “Someone who was kind, gentle, would look out for me, and…ah, well, I suppose we all have our fantasies.” When the closing credits began to roll, Joey kissed Kevin’s cheek, pulled him to his chest and got out of the chair. He carried Kevin and the duvet around the small room, switching off the TV and gas fire. He then walked over to his leather jacket and retrieved a condom and sachet of lube. Finally walking to the bed, Joey gently set his lover down. “I’m no Hutch, Pup, but I’m yours for as long as you want me.”

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Kevin raised his arms, pulled Joey’s face to his own, and kissed him tenderly. “That’d be forever, Sir.” Unwrapping the quilt, Joey climbed onto the bed, straddled Kevin’s thin chest and began to explore. After setting aside Kevin’s new glasses, Joey’s fingertips skimmed across his pup’s high cheekbones. Even though he probably hadn’t shaved since that morning, Joey marvelled at the softness of Kevin’s skin. Joey’s touch tour then moved to caress those cherubic full, red lips. Stroking back the fringe of glossy brown hair, Joey felt himself falling into the most hauntingly deep liquid brown eyes he’d ever seen. There was none of the fear which had been present so many times before. Joey hoped Kevin was finally beginning to trust him never to hurt him. Though he was tired, Joey was determined to make the night as special as he could for his lover. “Slow and gentle, Pup,” he whispered. Joey felt the mood would be broken if he’d spoken at normal volume. Kevin must have caught on, because he whispered “Thank you, Sir,” in reply. The two spent a long time kissing and caressing one another, Kevin’s hands slowly working their way down Joey’s front, eventually settling at his crotch. Kevin’s nimble fingers soon brought Joey to full, dripping hardness. Meanwhile, Joey was licking around Kevin’s neck, the smaller man exposing his throat submissively. Joey lightly bit at Kevin’s Adam’s apple, causing the younger man to tremble and whimper. It was a major turn on to Joey to have his lover convulse with such need. His tongue and lips still firmly engaged at their task, Joey reached for the lube, and began to loosen up his Pup’s hole. An image of Cal fucking Kevin dry flashed into Joey’s head. He pushed the thought away; he didn’t want that bastard intruding into what he determined would be a genuine act of lovemaking. “Please, Sir, now.” Kevin’s head thrashed from side-toside on the pillow. “I can’t wait, Sir, please.” After rolling the condom down his achingly hard prong and coating it liberally with lube, Joey placed Kevin’s ankles against his shoulders and positioned himself for entry. Locking eyes with

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his lover, Joey held himself ready to withdraw at the slightest sign from Kevin he was in pain. However, the younger man’s serene smile of deep satisfaction never wavered. Kevin’s arse lips soon parted, allowing the head of Joey’s stone hard dick to penetrate. His pup’s tunnel was so tight, so warm, Joey had to defocus in order not to fire his bolt. It’s odd, he thought, I’ve never had trouble with premature ejaculation. But then I’ve never fucked anyone I’ve had an emotional connection to. Once Joey was balls deep in his lover’s welcoming bowel, Joey saw Kevin silently mouth, “I love you, Sir. The total trust and adulation Kevin was displaying moved Joey uncomfortably close to climaxing. Joey took a couple of steadying breaths before starting to rock his hips from side-to-side. Kevin moaned. His lover’s inarticulate phrases grew in volume when Joey added a circular motion to his gyrations. After about five minutes of soaking his dick in Kevin’s warm wetness, Joey slowly withdrew almost all the way out, causing Kevin to whimper. Then Joey steadily sank gratefully back inside. It didn’t take him long to set up a gentle rhythmical in-out action. Joey made sure he grazed Kevin’s prostate as often as he could. At this speed, he knew he could last for hours, but mindful of the late hour, began to steadily increase the speed and force of his strokes. Kevin set up his amazing milking action around Joey’s pumping sword. Joey reached for Kevin’s waving prick and began to repeatedly retract and pull forward on the foreskin. “Come for me, Pup, shoot your milk.” Joey knew because Kevin was uncut, his glans was far more sensitive than his own circumcised member. Within thirty seconds, Kevin’s spine arched, and he let out a high pitched keening noise as he shot several pearly white strings of his essence, spraying it all over his upper torso. Kevin lay spent. His legs slipped down and hung limply around Joey’s still pumping hips. It was only then Joey released the virtual brakes on his own passion. He put his hands under Kevin’s shoulders and pulled his lover up, so they were chest to chest. Joey retrieved his slack-jawed lover’s tongue and sucked

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hungrily at it. Kevin’s tongue served to stifle Joey’s roar of climax as he threw the pair of them back onto the bed. Their combined weight was too much for the bed frame. Several wooden slats broke, plunging the mattress and its inhabitants to the floor. Throughout the bed’s destruction, the two men remained firmly locked together, cock to arse, mouth to tongue. Joey eventually had to release their joined lips in order to take in several deep lungfuls of air. Once his head had stopped spinning, Joey asked, “Did the earth move for you, Pup?” Kevin opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, and was finally able to say, “It did, Sir, yes. Oh my God! I’ve never felt anything like it.” Kevin then started to giggle. “Sir, that was such a corny line.” Growing serious, he continued, “But honestly, Sir, you really did make the earth move.” “It moved for me, too.” Joey’s now deflated dick slipped out of Kevin’s arse. He removed the condom, tied the end and tossed it in the waste bin, now at a more convenient height. He was knackered, and his throat was starting to become sore, a sure sign he was coming down with a cold. “I’ll go and wet a face cloth and clean us up.” “It’s okay, Sir, I’ll do it.” Joey found Kevin’s lips and kissed them softly. “No, Pup, you stay where you are.” When Joey returned, he lovingly wiped up all of his man’s semen, marvelling at the quantity. “Sorry, Pup, I’ll get you a new bed. It was my fault after all.” “But—” “Now, Pup, don’t argue.” Kevin began to giggle, which soon grew into uncontrollable laughter. Joey looked at him as if he’d gone round the twist. When eventually Kevin calmed down, Joey asked what had been so funny. “Um, Sir.” There were more giggles before Kevin was able to say, “I thought you were going to tell me one of your uncles

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works in a bed factory.” Kevin resumed his giggling, Joey joining him. “No.” Joey grinned. “But one of my aunties does.” The pair rolled around the mattress amid the broken remains of the bed, helpless with laughter.

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Chapter 7 “Now, you make sure you drink all that soup. It’s better than any pills the doctor could give you.” Mrs Goldman continued to bustle around Joey’s bedroom, dusting the already spotless chest of drawers and bedside cabinets. She then began to straighten the quilt, which to Joey’s way of thinking was pointless, because as soon as he turned over, it’d be all wrinkled again. At least she’d stopped vacuuming. The noise of the Hoover had given him a headache, which he was still suffering from. “Ma,” Joey said before sneezing into his already sodden handkerchief, “shouldn’t you be going home? Who’ve you left minding Dad?” She looked at her watch. “I suppose I should. You’ll be okay? You always get proper poorly when you get a cold. I’m worried it’ll get to your lungs. Oy, our Martin, he was never the same after his pneumonia.” Joey gritted his teeth. He’d been confined to bed for the past three days, and he was ready to explode with the boredom and frustration of it all. “Please just go.” Joey’s words brought on a fit of coughing, his mother thumping him on his back. “I’ll be fine, I’m going to have a kip. I didn’t get much sleep last night.” Mrs Goldman sighed heavily. “All right. But you eat up all your soup before it gets cold, you hear me, Joey?” She wagged her finger at him. Joey groaned inwardly. Since she’d found out about his cold on Tuesday morning, his mother had gone into overproduction of chicken soup, and had forced the bloody stuff down his throat at every opportunity. He was certain he’d throw up if he had to swallow just one more mouthful. “It’s too hot. I’ll let it cool for a bit.” Pointing at the door, he said, “Now please go home. Dad needs you.” He sneezed. “I’ll be fine. I just want to sleep.” His mother hesitated, hand on the knob of the bedroom door. “Just give me a ring if you need anything.” “I will, thanks, Ma.”

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Much to Joey’s relief, she turned the knob and stepped into the hall. Hearing the lock of his front door engage a few seconds later, Joey sank gratefully against his pillows and closed his eyes. **** “Sir, you awake?” Joey was wrenched from a most pleasant dream involving two leather clad men performing sexual favours on him. They had been rubbing their tight bodies against him as they bit down on his nipples with their teeth and… “I’ve heated up the soup you didn’t eat earlier.” Joey opened his eyes to see Kevin standing by the bed, a steaming bowl in his hands. The smell hit the back of Joey’s inflamed throat and caused a wave of bile to rise from his stomach. Holding a hand over his mouth, Joey ran for the bathroom. As he knelt on the tiled floor, praying to the porcelain, Joey heard the door open. Looking up, he saw Kevin nervously poke his head into the room. Joey returned his attention to the toilet and expelled another mouthful of foul tasting green fluid. Kevin entered the room, went straight to the wash hand basin and ran a face cloth under the hot tap. He then wiped Joey’s cold and clammy face. “Sir, I’m worried about you. Are you sure you don’t want me to call a doctor?” “I’m fine,” Joey croaked. The regurgitated bile had left a bitter taste in his mouth. “Water.” Kevin filled a glass and held it out to Joey, who took several deep gulps, the sudden shock of the cold water causing him to retch. Joey felt Kevin’s soft caresses on his bent back, then a gentle kiss between his shoulder blades. “Go back to bed, Sir. I’m gonna call the doctor.” “No, I don’t need a doctor.” Ever since he’d been a kid—and had to go to hospital to

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have his right arm set in plaster when he’d fallen out of a mate’s tree-house—he’d hated everything to do with the medical profession. Getting unsteadily to his feet, Joey wobbled his way back to bed. He pulled the quilt over himself, grateful to feel the warmth that was still trapped there. “You sure, Sir, I—” “For fuck’s sake! I said I didn’t want a bloody doctor!” Why won’t people just leave me alone? Kevin quickly backed out of the room and closed the door behind him. “Shit!” Joey’s head pounded. He shouldn’t have raised his voice. Closing his eyes momentarily, he tried to stop the jackhammer which had taken up residence in his skull. Punching his pillows, Joey tried to get back to sleep, but it was no use. The hurt look on Kevin’s face kept floating into his mind. Swearing under his breath, Joey got out of bed, donned his dressing gown and went in search of his pup, hoping he hadn’t slunk off home. Hearing the muted noise of the TV, Joey headed for the living room. He spied Kevin curled up at one end of the sofa, his head resting on his drawn-up knees. Joey remained in the doorway for a few moments watching the changing light from the TV screen as it played across Kevin’s face. His heart began to ache. He’d hurt the most precious thing in his life. Kevin was just so sweet, constantly giving out love and expecting little in return. Joey suddenly sneezed, which caused Kevin to jump. Kevin’s moist brown eyes looked up, searching Joey’s face. The older man had a good idea what he was seeking. Walking to the front of the settee, Joey sank to his knees in front of Kevin. Taking hold of his lover’s hands, Joey looked up into those deep, trusting eyes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shouted at you. I know you were only trying to care for me, and I really appreciate that. I’m not myself lately, but that’s no excuse.” Kevin leant forward, wrapped his thin arms around Joey’s neck, and gave him a tender squeeze. Letting out a deep sigh of contentment, Joey pulled Kevin

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into a hug. “I’m sorry,” he said, hoping Kevin had forgiven him. “Sir, this isn’t right.” Joey’s heart quickened. “It should be me kneeling in front of you, not the other way round.” Joey shook his head. “Okay if I sit next to you then?” Kevin smiled his agreement. Joey got up from his knees. The room wasn’t especially warm, and he began to shiver. “You’re cold, I wish you’d go back to bed where it’s warmer. Sorry.” Kevin ducked his head no doubt worried Joey would be mad at him for speaking out of turn. Joey kissed the top of Kevin’s head, before having to turn away to sneeze. “I’ve spent the past three days in bed, and I’m bored out of my bloody brains.” “Do you want me to bring your duvet in here?” “Thanks, Pup.” Joey hated being ill. The worst part was the constant pounding in his head. He rubbed at his forehead, trying to remember if it was time for his next dose of pills. “Sir?” Joey looked up. Kevin was standing in the doorway, the folded duvet in his arms. “I’m all blocked up. Always happens when I get a cold.” Kevin frowned. “Okay, Sir, let me try something.” Kevin spread the duvet along the back of the couch, sat at the far end and patted his knee and asked Joey to lay with his head on Kevin’s lap. Joey took off his dressing gown—making sure Kevin got an eyeful of his naked body—before settling on the sofa cushions. Kevin pulled the duvet over Joey, tucking in where he could reach. “Close your eyes.” Joey grinned. Was Kevin’s voice a little shaky? Smiling, Joey willingly submitted himself to whatever Kevin was going to do to him. Kevin pressed his fingers onto Joey’s forehead, applying gentle pressure to the area just above the bridge of his

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nose. Kevin’s fingers then glided outwards towards the temples, where he drew a number of circles. “Wow, Pup, where’d you learn this?” Joey asked, opening his eyes to see Kevin’s tongue peeking from between his lips, his face a mask of concentration. “That’s naughty, keep those eyes closed.” “Oy, I’m meant to be the bossy one.” Kevin removed his fingers from Joey’s head and looked penitent. “Sorry, Pup, please carry on, you’re doing great.” As Kevin unhurriedly performed his massage, Joey could feel a growing bulge pressing into the back of his neck. When Kevin announced he’d finished, Joey turned round and lightly bit the lump in Kevin’s pants. “What do we have here?” Kevin went red. “It’s, um, well.” Joey cocked an eyebrow. “Well, um,” Kevin’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I got it ’cause I was touching you, Sir.” “Com’ere.” Despite not wanting to pass on his germs, Joey raised himself up and tenderly kissed Kevin on the lips. “You’re an angel.” Kevin’s smile of happiness warmed Joey’s insides. “Are you feeling any better, Sir?” Joey considered the question. His headache hadn’t gone away completely, but it had definitely lessened. “Yeah. Never knew my Pup had such healing hands.” Joey took hold of Kevin’s fingers and kissed them, causing the younger man to quiver. “I’ll just go and swallow a couple aspirin. They should see off the rest of my headache.” “It’s okay, Sir, I’ll go. You stay here under the quilt.” **** While Kevin was in the kitchen, someone knocked on the door. Thinking it best he answer it—he wouldn’t put it past his sir to greet whoever it was while still naked—Kevin called out that he’d get the door.

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“Trick or treat!” A group of three kids called out. The youngest, a little girl, was decked out in a witch’s costume, which looked about three sizes too large for her. The pointy hat she wore kept slipping down her face. The other two kids—both boys—wore whatever the male equivalent of a witch was. The children were accompanied by a rather bored looking older boy, whose only concession to the spirit of Halloween was an illuminated plastic pumpkin, which he held in his right hand. No doubt he’d been press ganged into the task by one of the kids’ parents. “Err, I’d forgotten it was Halloween,” Kevin said, wondering what he could give them. He didn’t think Joey would have any mini Mars bars or anything like that in the place. “Who is it?” Kevin heard from further up the hall. Shit! Kevin pushed the door until it was almost closed and whipped round to face his lover. To his relief, Joey had put on his dressing gown. “It’s okay, it’s only some trick or treaters.” “Send ’em away, I don’t believe in all that American crap. We didn’t have anything like that when I was a kid.” Kevin opened the door again, but he couldn’t send them away empty handed. “Sorry, I don’t think we’ve got any sweets. Here,” he dug into his pocket and gave the girl some money. “Thanks, Mister,” she said, smiling sweetly up at him. Kevin closed the door, and turned to face Joey, who was now standing next to him. “How much you give them?” “Only a pound, I didn’t have anything smaller.” “A quid? Fuck, You know what’ll happen now, they’ll go round and tell all their little friends that there’s a real soft bloke on the third floor. We’ll be plagued by the little buggers all evening.” Squeezing past Joey, Kevin said, “You know, you sound just like your mother.” “Com’ere, ya cheeky little sod!” Joey chased a giggling Kevin into the living room. Kevin managed a couple of circuits of the settee, before Joey tackled him to the carpet and sat on his

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chest. After wiping his runny nose with the sleeve of his dressing gown, Joey pinned Kevin’s shoulders to the floor. Kevin looked up at his lover’s unkempt short hair and his strong firm jaw, which showed a couple days worth of beard. He sprang an instant boner. “Right, you’ll pay for that comment.” Joey grinned evilly. Kevin was now so comfortable with his lover, he wasn’t frightened. He knew his sir would never hurt him. In fact he could tell Joey was keeping part of the weight of his body on his knees. However, Kevin thought it best to play along. “Oh, Sir, don’t hurt your poor innocent pup.” He smiled, just to let Joey know he was okay. “Innocent, you?” Joey began tickling Kevin, who squirmed around, but was unable to escape. He laughed until tears began to roll down his cheeks. When Joey stopped, Kevin took a couple of minutes to compose himself before asking, “Okay then, what would your mother have said if she’d come across those kids?” Joey pondered for a few seconds, before a broad smile lit up his face. Kevin knew he’d won the argument. “That’s neither here nor there.” Joey leant forward and kissed Kevin tenderly on the lips before rolling to the side. Kevin lay, looking at his lover. Despite Joey being the dominant one in their relationship, he was still capable of small acts of tenderness, which Kevin craved. “I’m going into the kitchen to get my pills. Sit and stay!” Joey said, pointing to the carpet. As well as his tender side, Kevin also thrilled when Joey indulged in role play with him. “If anyone comes to the door, I’ll get it, understand?” Joey said. “Woof!” Joey ruffled Kevin’s hair. “There’s a good pup.” ****

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Shaking a couple of aspirins into his palm, Joey swallowed them with a sip of water. The horsing around with Kevin had tired him out. He hated being weak. His cold had certainly laid him low. Giving the front door a serious stare, he padded back to the living room, thankfully now much warmer; Kevin had told him he hadn’t turned up the central heating, saying it hadn’t been worth putting it on just for him. Joey shook his head, knowing he still had some serious self-confidence boosting to do. Walking across to the settee, Joey felt Kevin’s eyes watching him. Like the obedient pup that he was, Kevin had remained on the carpet as ordered. Before sitting, Joey loosened the belt of his robe, causing it to fall open. Spreading his knees, he crooked his index finger and beckoned to Kevin “Come, heel.” Kevin began to crawl towards his master. Once there, he sat back on his heels and held his hands at either side of his chest and whined. “You been a good puppy for your owner?” “Woof, woof!” Joey smiled. Looking down at his penis, which had risen to full hardness with all the role play, he said, “Get at it then, Pup.” Kevin moistened his lips, sank to the carpet and to Joey’s surprise and total delight, began to lick the tops of his feet. He groaned. It was such a fucking turn on to be paid homage to like this. Joey reached down and began to rub Kevin’s shoulders, whispering soft words of encouragement. The unhurried act of worship continued for a number of minutes, Kevin steadily licking and kissing his way up his owner’s muscular legs. When Kevin bit very gently on Joey’s inner thighs, the older man thought he was going to shoot his wad. Joey was aware that area of his body had always been sensitive, but up until that point, he hadn’t realised exactly how sensitive. “Fucking hell!” Joey said when he heard someone knocking at the door then ring the bell. Kevin raised his head, spittle hanging from his lips, and looked pleadingly up at his master. “I bloody knew this would happen.” Kevin whimpered.

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“Go on then, fetch.” Kevin barked once before scampering away on his hands and knees. Joey wondered if Kevin would answer the door while still in character. He thought about going to check, but couldn’t be bothered, he needed to cool down from his tongue washing. Head resting against the back cushions of the sofa, Joey closed his eyes and relaxed. His eyes snapped open again when he felt wet kisses on his inner thighs. Pushing his hips out further, Joey watched his pup as he advanced towards his ultimate goal, which lay rigid and erect, flat up against Joey’s abdomen. A moan of satisfaction escaped from Joey’s throat when Kevin began to lick at his scrotum. Opening his soft lips wider, Kevin sucked first one then the other of Joey’s sensitive eggs into his warm moist mouth. Joey’s pleasure increased yet further when Kevin started humming, the vibrations spreading throughout Joey’s groin. “Jesus, Pup, I’m not gonna last much longer.” But it seemed Kevin wasn’t ready to finish his oral treatment quite yet. Releasing the suction on his lover’s left testicle, he swept his tongue further down, and began a series of broad, laving strokes along Joey’s perineum. Joey's eyes widened in shock. No one had ever done that to him before. It seemed way too much like him assuming the role of the bottom. But Joey was paralysed with pleasure. He couldn’t have stopped Kevin if he’d have wanted. And he didn’t want the feeling ever to end. He found to his amazement that he was raising his legs, giving Kevin even greater access to his anal region. Kevin must have sensed the unspoken permission, and he moved his tongue into Joey’s arse-crack. When Kevin’s tongue made contact with Joey’s tightly closed pucker, Joey’s whole body went rigid. “Jesus fucking Christ!” he exclaimed. When Joey’s mind registered the fact that the ecstatic ministrations had ceased, he focused his eyes on Kevin, who was sitting back on his heels, a worried expression on his face. “Get back to work!” Joey pushed Kevin’s face none too gently back against his exposed rear.

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An emboldened Kevin resumed his tongue worship with greater zeal, concentrating even more on Joey’s virgin sphincter. After a couple of minutes of gentle probing, Joey felt his muscle relax sufficiently to allow Kevin’s tongue to enter. Joey’s head thrashed from side-to-side, he moaned inarticulately as his brain registered stars, fireworks, nuclear explosions. But through his haze of euphoria, Joey still managed to hear the doorbell. He swore and clamped his hands on Kevin’s head, preventing him from pulling away. The vibrations caused by Kevin’s giggles around his now fully sensitised arse lips were the final straw. Letting out a primal scream, which probably scared away the trick or treaters, Joey’s cock began to erupt with massive amounts of semen. As his climax ebbed, Joey felt more than heard Kevin choking. Looking down, he saw that somehow he’d moved his lover’s face from his arse and impaled him on his cock. Joey had no memory of performing such an action. Pulling a coughing Kevin from his penis, Joey watched as the last few weak spurts of his climax landed on Kevin’s cheeks. The semen mingled with the tears that were flowing freely down Kevin’s face. Joey felt guilty; he’d selfishly if unintentionally hurt his pup. Licking Kevin’s wet face, he began to apologise profusely. After coughing a couple more times, Kevin was able to croak out, “Don’t worry, Sir, I’m okay.” Clearing his throat again, he continued, “Wow, you came so much. I thought for a minute I was a goner.” After wiping his lips with the back of his hand, Kevin smirked, “But what a way to go.” Joey smiled broadly. “Thanks, Pup. But you know I’d never hurt you intentionally. I couldn’t.” Kevin laid a hand on Joey’s knee. “I know that, Sir, please don’t worry.” Cupping his lover’s face in his hands, Joey looked fondly down into those trusting eyes. “Pup,” Joey sighed, “Thank you. I’ve had, well,” Joey blushed, “I’ve had lots of men before, but you’re the tops.” He railed at his inability to get past all the macho crap and tell Kevin how he really felt. “Shit, I’m no good at all this.”

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Staring up at him, love shining in his eyes, Kevin said, “Don’t worry, Sir. It was better because, well, because you realised I was doing it out of my love for you.” “I know,” Joey nodded. “Thanks, Pup.” Looking fondly down at his man kneeling submissively in front of him, Joey realised Kevin hadn’t come. As he was still erect, Joey thought he might try something he’d read about. Lifting Kevin onto his lap, Joey reached for Kevin’s cock and retracted the foreskin. Joey then rolled the loose skin over his own circumcised glans. Being Jewish, Joey had never known what it was like to have that extra piece of skin covering his cock head. For years he’d despised his parents, the rabbis, the doctors or whoever it was who’d cut him when he was a baby. The cocooning warmth of Kevin’s sheath was magical. He thrilled at how the pair of them could join in such a special way. Wrapping the fingers of his right hand around the join, Joey began to slowly jerk the both of them off. He had to go slow so as not to break the connection. When Joey mouthed, “Come for me, Pup.” Kevin’s body started to convulse in orgasm. Joey tightened his grip trapping all of his lover’s seed inside their connected cocks. The feel of hot semen on his own cock-head brought Joey to the brink. It only took a couple more strokes before Joey shot for the second time. The volume of semen was too great to be held captive, and it oozed around both their softening members. Joey watched in childish fascination as their combined seed continued to leak out. When the flow had abated, Joey pulled Kevin onto his chest and kissed him deeply. As their tongues wrestled, their penile bond broke, allowing the remainder of their juices to flow freely. “You were fan-fucking-tastic,” Joey whispered. “I’ve never done that thing with my foreskin before, but then all the men I’ve been with were uncut like me.” Joey wanted to ask how many men Kevin had been with, but then he’d have to disclose his own sexual history. He was ashamed to realise he wouldn’t be able to put a figure on it. In an effort to distract himself, Joey pulled his robe closed over the pair

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of them, and Kevin worked his arms around Joey’s back, pulling himself tight against his lover’s chest. As they lay in post-coital bliss, someone rang the doorbell. Joey swore softly. “I told you this’d happen.” Kevin giggled. “You gonna answer it?” “Nah.” After licking his man’s jaw, Kevin whispered “I love you so much, Sir.” He then returned his head to Joey’s shoulder. Joey tightened his arms around Kevin. “Love you, too, Pup.” Within moments the only sound in the room came from Kevin’s slow and regular breathing. As Joey had slept most of the day, he wasn’t tired, so he stayed awake, gazing at the sleeping form of his lover, marvelling at how privileged he was to be given his total devotion. **** Joey had held off going to the bathroom for as long as he could. He’d always needed to piss after coming. Unable to wait any longer, he rolled over so Kevin was next to the couch’s back cushions. It took a couple of moments to separate their flesh, the dried semen that coated both their groins acting as an adhesive. Once free, Joey slipped out from under the duvet. He then made a mad dash for the bathroom, arriving just in time. Re-entering the living room, Joey saw Kevin was awake. He also realised the place had become overly warm and stuffy. “Think I best turn the heat down a bit.” “Okay, Sir.” Kevin yawned. Reaching for the thermostat, Joey turned the dial to its minimum setting, deciding it would be much cosier if he and Kevin snuggled under the duvet. As he walked towards the TV, Joey wondered where all the romantic candle lit shit was coming from. The old him would have never sat on his sofa under a duvet with a partner and just snuggled. “There might be a decent horror film on tonight, it being Halloween,” Joey said, sitting down next to Kevin. Kevin shivered.

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“You don’t like horror films?” “Uh, no, not really.” “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you. I’ll see that none of the nasty monsters get you.” “Uh, thanks, I think.” Joey chuckled. Settling on a movie that had just started, he pulled the quilt over the pair of them and wrapped an arm loosely around Kevin’s back. About fifteen minutes into the film, when a disembodied hand rose from an open coffin, Kevin squeaked and pressed himself up against Joey’s side. “Oh God! I don’t like it!” Joey shook his head. He’d seen much scarier things than that. “Just wait till you see all the blood and disembodied limbs in the next scene.” Kevin dived under the duvet, curling the top half of his body around Joey’s chest. “There, there, Pup, it’s okay.” Joey rubbed Kevin’s back. “I was only joking. I’ve not seen this film before, so I don’t know if there’ll be any blood or body parts.” Kevin poked his head from under the quilt just as a piercing scream came out of the surround sound speakers. With lightning speed he shot under the duvet again. Joey was beginning to get a little concerned. He never imagined Kevin would have such an extreme reaction. “Hey, Pup, it’s okay. It’s not real.” “Sorry, Sir, I just don’t like things like that.” “You want me to switch it off?” Kevin hesitated. “It’s your house and your TV.” Joey took that to mean a yes, but he had an idea. “Wanna try something? It might help you deal with some of this scary shit.” Hesitantly, Kevin said, “Um, okay.” When the screen showed a vampire walking across a deserted moonlit street, Joey pointed to the figure. “Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if that vampire was Jewish?” Kevin looked at his lover as if he’d gone mad. Doing his best imitation of Frankenstein, Joey said, “Oy, Mister, you eaten any bacon recently? I can only drink kosher

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blood, ya know.” Kevin giggled. When the vampire entered the haunted house, Joey said, “Just look at all the muck in there, my mother would have a conniption if she saw it.” Every surface in the place was covered with a thick layer of dust, which stirred in the draughts coming through the ill-fitting windows. Large cobwebs hung from the ceiling beams, and a black cat, its green eyes opened wide, slunk across the room. “Yeah.” Kevin seemed to be getting into the spirit. When the vampire opened a door, which creaked with the obligatory loud squeak, he said, “Those hinges could do with a spot of lubricating oil.” “Yeah. You know, I bet the place is owned by a Jew.” “Oh?” Kevin turned from the screen to look at Joey. “Think about it. The house is all dark and gloomy, there’s just one low wattage bulb burning. ‘Oy, why should I switch on all the lights, I know what the room looks like,“ Joey said, putting on an over-the-top Jewish accent. The movie soon grew boring and predictable. A no longer frightened Kevin began to yawn, and rested his head on Joey’s shoulder. Deciding there was probably little else to choose from, Joey kept watching, but things didn’t get any better. By the time the credits rolled, Joey was beginning to yawn himself, so he turned off the set with the remote control. “Think I’ll have a hot toddy. With a bit of luck it’ll make me sweat out the rest of this bloody cold.” He needed to get back to work. He hated all the lying around he’d done over the past few days. “Let me do it, Sir.” Kevin said, making to rise. Joey put a hand on his pup’s shoulder. “Nah, you stay here.” A naked Joey padded into the kitchen. Because he’d turned the heating off earlier, the room was chilly. The vinyl flooring was icy cold on his bare feet. He wished he’d put his dressing gown on, as well as his rarely-used slippers. Pulling out a half bottle of whisky from behind the fridge— his mother didn’t approve of strong drink—Joey set about his task.

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His first attempt tasted foul, so he poured it down the sink. “Sir?” Joey turned round to see Kevin standing in the doorway, holding out his dressing gown and a pair of slippers. “Thanks, Pup.” Joey wrapped the terry towelling robe around himself. “Thought I told you to stay under the quilt.” “Sorry, Sir, but, um, well, um, I missed you, and I knew it’d be cold in here.” Kevin lowered his head. “Com’ere.” Joey gave Kevin a hug. It was so cute how the little guy was always thinking of him. “Have you any idea how to make a hot toddy? I had to chuck the last one away, it was bloody awful.” After scanning the ingredients on the counter, Kevin asked, “Did you put honey in it?” “Honey? I don’t have any.” Kevin opened the door of the tall cupboard, and there, right at the front of the middle shelf stood a large jar of clear honey. “Here,” Kevin said, putting it on the counter alongside the lemon juice, tea caddy and bottle of whisky. “I’ll show you how to do it, just in case…” Kevin hesitated, “Well, um, just in case you want to make one when I’m not around.” Joey squeezed Kevin’s shoulder. He knew what his lover was thinking. It pained him to know that the two of them couldn’t live openly as a couple. What with Joey not being out to his family, it just couldn’t be. Or could it? Did he have the courage to choose his romantic love, over his love for his family? Joey shuddered. He didn’t have an answer, so pushed it to the back of his mind. “Make a hot toddy for yourself as well. It’ll help you sleep and might ward off my germs.” **** The two men sat on the settee, sipping their drinks. Kevin’s attempt at a hot toddy was far more palatable, though Joey knew he would always prefer his whisky on the rocks. Kevin was drooping, Joey knew the man had put in a hard

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day at work. Parker’s secretary was still off sick, and with him not being there to oversee things, Joey was fairly certain old Parker was running his pup ragged. Despite his best efforts, Joey’s mind still kept returning to the internal debate that he’d been having over his family versus Kevin. But no matter which way he tried to organise things, he couldn’t come to any satisfactory resolution. The noise of a glass softly hitting the carpet brought Joey back to the present. Kevin was fast asleep, his mouth slightly open, a line of drool beginning to creep down his chin. Picking up Kevin’s empty glass, Joey set it—along with his own—on the coffee table. “Guess I better carry you to bed then, huh?” Joey said, kissing Kevin’s forehead. Gathering his lover in the quilt, Joey picked him up and carried him out of the room, turning the light off with his elbow as he passed the switch.

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Chapter 8 Despite feeling like death warmed over, Joey knew when he woke up on Friday morning he had to go into work. Another day spent in bed would drive him round the bend. There was also the very real possibility his mother would visit and continue her Jewish equivalent of Florence Nightingale. Joey shuddered at the thought. Stretching out, Joey soon realised the other side of the bed was unoccupied. Had he slept in? Had Kevin already left for work? A glance at his alarm clock told him it was only 7:30, so where the heck was Kevin? Sliding his feet into his slippers—Kevin must have left them by the bed—Joey got up, and after siphoning the python, followed his nose into the kitchen. “Mornin, Pup, what ya doin?” Joey soon realised the smell of kippers, combined with the heavenly odour of filter coffee, made his question unnecessary. Kevin walked over to his naked lover, wrapped his arms around him and kissed the side of his neck. “I thought I’d make sure you were fed before I went off to work.” “I’ve decided to go in myself today.” Kevin shook his head. “You’re not well enough. I…” “I’ll go completely loopy if I have to spend another day cooped up in here.” “But, Sir, all your jobs have been farmed out to the other drivers. So there wouldn’t be anything for you to do.” “I’m sure my pup can work his usual magic and find me something,” Joey said, looking into his lover’s deep brown eyes. “Uh,” Kevin moaned. It thrilled Joey to know he could stun his lover into immobility, just by staring at him. Sniffing, Joey said, “I think something’s burning.” “Oh shit!” Kevin broke from his trance and raced to the cooker, pulling out a smouldering grill pan, its contents looking somewhat overcooked. “I’m so sorry, Sir, there should be time to make something else for you. I’ll…I’ll clean up the mess and…”

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Joey embraced his lover from behind and gave him a squeeze. Taking the pan from Kevin’s grasp, Joey set it on top of the stove. “It doesn’t look too bad. Kippers, haven’t had them in ages. You’re determined to keep me kosher aren’t you?” “I think it’s important somehow. It’s all part of what makes you, well, um, you.” Joey shook his head. Kevin had some strange ideas at times. “You go and sit down, I’ll see to the rest of breakfast.” “No it’s okay, Sir, I’ll do it.” Turning Kevin by his shoulders to face him, Joey locked eyes with his man. “You arguing with me?” “Uh,” was all Kevin could get out as Joey held him in his gaze. “Didn’t think you were.” Joey patted Kevin’s jeans clad arse softly. “Go on, sit.” As the two men ate their breakfast, Joey scanned the local free newspaper. “Fancy going to the organised fireworks display up on the recreation ground for Guy Fawkes night?” There was no immediate reply. Joey lowered his paper when he heard Kevin’s stool being scraped back. He saw Kevin sinking to his knees and disappearing under the table. Before he had a chance to bend down to find out what the heck was happening, he felt Kevin repeatedly kissing the tops of his feet. “Thank you, Sir, thank you.” The erotic nature of the gesture caused Joey to throw instant wood. “Pup, come up here for a minute,” he said, pulling back his stool and patting his bare knee. Kevin rose to his feet, never breaking the worshipful gaze that shone brightly in his eyes. “What was all that for?” Joey asked once Kevin was settled. “Sir,” Kevin swallowed. “You just asked me out on a date. Sorry, I know you probably didn’t think of it as one, but Sir,” his eyes began to fill with tears, “I haven’t been out on a real date in…a long time. Thank you, Sir, thank you so much.” Wrapping his arms around Joey’s neck, Kevin kissed his man square on the lips. “I love you, Sir.” Joey was overwhelmed. He’d merely intended his

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suggestion to be a casual evening out, nothing special. Thinking about it further, he realised Kevin was bound to attach far greater significance to it. Given the life he’d had with that bastard Cal, it was highly unlikely the little bloke would have been treated to many proper dates. Clearing his throat, Joey said, “We’ll make it a date to remember. Maybe we could go out for something to eat afterwards if you want? It’s up to you.” Joey returned Kevin’s kiss. “And I love you, too.” Sighing, he went on, “But look at the time. And our breakfasts are getting cold, so eat up, and I’ll whisk you to work on my black and chrome stallion.” “My hero.” Kevin sniffed then giggled. Joey reached over and pulled Kevin’s plate towards them and began to feed his pup by hand. **** “I don’t give a shit what the fucking tachograph says!” Cal Briggs’ enraged voice was booming from Mr Parker’s office when Kevin entered the outer office. The harsh words chilled him instantly. “I made that fucking delivery! Look, you’ve got the fucking guy’s signature on the bloody docket! Just ring the fucking company if you don’t believe me. They’ll tell you everything arrived!” Kevin knew this would happen. He wanted to run away and hide till it was all over. He wanted to seek the protection of his sir; however, Kevin found himself paralysed with fear. “I’m not saying you didn’t make the delivery!” Parker shouted back angrily. “Look it’s all down here. Somehow a onehundred and sixty mile round trip has been logged as twohundred and fifteen miles. You drove at least fifty miles more than you needed to. And—” “You accusing me of fucking ripping you off?” “You bet I am. You’ve been taking on extra jobs on the side and not running them through the books.” “Prove it!” There was a slight rustle of papers. “See here, I got Kevin

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to compile a list of your last twenty runs.” Kevin’s blood ran cold. He’d asked, begged Mr Parker not to tell Cal of his involvement. He began to shake. “Almost every one of these runs listed here has involved extra mileage. And I want an explanation!” “I don’t have to fucking well justify myself to you.” “I pay your fucking wages. I pay the road taxes, insurance, diesel and God knows what else. So why the fuck should I foot the bill for all your moonlighting?” “Come off it, Jerry, everyone does it, you know they do.” “You’ve done it too often.” Kevin knew he had to get away. However, he couldn’t catch his breath, his chest felt tight and he was starting to get dizzy. His legs wouldn’t move. “This is your last warning,” Mr Parker said. “If just one more docket crosses my desk that doesn’t add up, you’ll be out on your arse.” “You fucking well can’t do that! I’ll get the law, the union on you.” “Go ahead. I’ve had it up to here with you. Now get the fuck out before I fire you right now!” “This isn’t over, Parker, not by a long fucking way,” Cal said, storming out of the inner office, almost ripping the door from its hinges. “You fucking little sneak!” Cal bellowed when he spotted Kevin cowering in the outer doorway. “This is all your fucking fault! You and that prick Goldman cooked all this up. I knew Parker was trying to find a reason to stab me in the back, and you fucking couldn’t wait to help him!” Cal leapt at Kevin, who was so terrified, he felt his bladder release its contents into his underpants. Lifting Kevin by the throat, Cal sent him crashing into a nearby filing cabinet. The impact caused red hot pain to shoot into Kevin’s head. Kevin was only vaguely aware that Cal had picked him up again and had begun to use his head and upper body as a punching bag. ****

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“Ya a right big Jesse. Any excuse to skive off work for a few days, lie in bed, wanking,” Greg, the nearest person Joey could call a friend, said as the two stood in the car park, shooting the shit. Although Joey’s mind was on the conversation with Greg, his eyes were firmly fixed on Kevin’s compact arse as he walked towards the main building. Joey stored his helmet. “Don’t need to wank,” Joey said. Greg laughed. “You and him an item, then?” “Yeah,” Joey breathed out. “God, how the hell you can fuck another bloke, I’ll never know. Give me a nice big-chested bird every time.” “Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it,” Joey smirked. Greg had always been cool about him being gay. Joey had had to use his fists a couple of times at the beginning, to persuade some of his more bigoted fellow drivers he was no limp wristed fairy. But on the whole most of his work colleagues didn’t mind, or were sensible enough not to comment. “Who better than another bloke to give a blow job?” Joey said. “He knows what feels good.” “I dunno,” Greg said, not sounding convinced. “It just don’t seem, well, er, natural.” Joey’s muscles tensed. “No, mate,” Greg put a reassuring hand on Joey’s shoulder. “You knew what I meant. Sex with a bird wouldn’t seem natural to you, would it?” “Last time I was with a woman,” Joey shivered “Her cunt was all loose and flabby. And the smell!” He pulled a face. “How the fuck can ya cope with it?” “You saying you’ve done it with a woman?” “Sure.” “Really?” “It’s not always easy being gay ya know. I tried for years to convince myself that I was just like all my mates, but doing it with a woman didn’t seem as exciting as my mates made it out to be. But the first time I messed about with another boy, I knew that I’d found what I liked.” Greg scratched his grey beard absently. “Just, oh, I

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dunno, I don’t think it’d be for me.” “Goldman, get in here, now!” Jerry Parker yelled, pushing up the window to his office. Joey bristled at being addressed like that, but something in Parker’s tone convinced him not to argue. Running into the office, Joey was met by absolute chaos. A chair, table and a filing cabinet had been overturned. Briggs was laying into someone in the far corner, Jerry trying ineffectually to pull him off. It took Joey’s mind a second or two to make sense of everything. When comprehension hit, Joey’s blood ran cold. Clenching his fists, he launched himself across the room and rugby-tackled Briggs to the carpet. Blind fury drove Joey onwards, although everything seemed to be happening in redtinted slow motion. Joey was only vaguely aware he was on top of Briggs, delivering a series of punches to the man’s face. All he could hear was the blood pumping in his ears, as well as his elevated breathing sounds. Joey paused to wipe away the blood from his face. Cal had got in a couple of decent punches before he was subdued. When he raised his fist to resume his tirade, a series of whimpers somehow managed to register in Joey’s rage-fevered brain. Dropping his hand to his side, Joey tried to determine the source of the piteous moans. His eyes found Kevin’s bruised, battered and blood streaked face turned towards him. Returning his gaze back to the unmoving figure beneath him, Joey remembered something Kevin had said previously. You’re right, Pup, Joey said to himself. Though the evil bastard piece of shit deserves to die, he isn’t worth going to prison for. Rolling off Cal, Joey crawled towards Kevin, who had curled himself up into a foetal ball under one of the desks. “It’s all over now. It’s all over.” He said softly. When he laid a hand on his lover’s shoulder, Joey could feel Kevin’s small body shaking violently. Joey felt terrible. He’d failed. He’d promised he’d protect Kevin if Cal threatened to hurt him because of the investigation Kevin had been forced to undertake.

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“I’m sorry, so sorry. I promise, Pup he won’t ever get to hurt you again. You’re safe, you’re safe.” Joey watched as Kevin stared unblinkingly at him. Eventually recognition seemed to spark. A flood of emotions washed through Joey. He knew full well his pup was hurting both emotionally and physically, but thankfully his words had managed to penetrate whatever hell Kevin was going through. Holding out his arms, Joey beckoned to his lover. Slowly and painfully Kevin crawled out from under the desk. Once Kevin had emerged, it took every ounce of Joey’s self-control not to crush his pup to his chest. **** When the ambulance arrived, Kevin was reluctant to be examined. Showing infinite patience, the female paramedic knelt down beside Kevin, and after reassuring him she’d be as quick as she could, Joey loosened his grip on his lover, but Kevin remained within touching distance. As Kevin was being checked, Joey happened to glance over to where Cal had lain. The bastard had got away! Painfully lifting himself to his feet, Joey made for the door. Kevin cried out in alarm. “Where’s Briggs?” Joey demanded of Parker. “Another ambulance crew took him away on a stretcher a few minutes ago.” Parker had been walking up and down the office, wringing his hands uselessly ever since Joey had barged in. The news settled Joey, who went back to kneeling next to Kevin. “I think you might have a concussion, so I want to take you to Accident and Emergency,” the woman said after she’d performed her tests. “No, I don’t want to go to hospital, I’m okay,” Kevin protested. “Pup, you’re going. And when they’ve patched you up, you’re making a statement to the police about all of this.” “No!”

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“Pup.” Joey stared at Kevin, and despite being in public, he bent down and kissed his swollen lips and said, “I love you, and I’m not going to argue with you about this. You will do what I say.” Kevin tried to get up, Joey putting a hand on his chest to stop him. “Listen to me,” Joey said more softly, “I’ll be with you every single step of the way. Remember you’re not facing any of this alone.” “Okey-dokey then, can you get into this wheelchair by yourself?” the male ambulance man asked, no doubt a little surprised at the interaction between his patient and his friend. Kevin shook his head and gripped Joey’s hand tighter. “Look, we’re not gonna get anywhere doing it your way. So I’m gonna carry him to the ambulance.” “That’s highly irregular,” the paramedic said, scratching his head. Kevin began to shake. Seeing this, Joey, not knowing if Kevin had any other internal injuries, carefully picked up his lover, and with a gentleness that surprised even him, carried him outside. Although he’d smelled the urine earlier, somehow it hadn’t registered before. Once out in the daylight, Joey was able to see the large wet stain on Kevin’s jeans. Oh, Pup. Continuing his walk to the waiting ambulance, Joey realised he’d have to give up his charge and hand him over to the ambulance staff. “Pup, I’ll follow you on my bike, okay?” “Nooo,” Kevin said, tightening his grip around Joey’s neck. “They probably won’t let me travel in there with you.” “Then I’m not going! I can’t, I’m sorry.” Kevin’s teeth began to chatter, it was quite chilly outside, and Kevin wasn’t wearing his coat. Looking up at the female paramedic who was standing inside the ambulance, Joey set his jaw and advanced towards her. She moved further inside, allowing him to climb the steps into the emergency vehicle. When the staff tried to get Kevin to lay on the stretcher, he clung ever tighter to Joey. “He’s not gonna co-operate with you unless I’m here, so

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you’re just gonna have to work around me.” Joey sat down on the bed, treated the ambulance woman to a defiant stare before turning his attention back to his pup, gently rubbing his back and talking softly to him. The ambulance woman shrugged her shoulders, leaned out of the van and pulled the doors closed. **** “Where’s that bloody doctor!” Joey got out of his chair and began to pace Kevin’s curtained-off cubicle. He hated hospitals. At first the medical staff had tried to keep Joey in the waiting room, but his persistence, combined with Kevin’s pleas not to be separated, had persuaded the nurses to keep them together. “He’s probably with another patient. They seemed very busy,” Kevin said through his thickened bruised lips. He closed his eyes, his head sinking back to the pillow of the trolley he was lying on. “I don’t know why I’m here, I’m okay, I told those paramedics that I was okay.” His voice was becoming more agitated. Joey moved to Kevin’s side, lifted his lover’s hand and kissed it softly. “We need to make sure that you really are okay, that there’s nothing happening inside you which could, um, you know.” Joey shuffled his feet. He knew his agitation was contributing to Kevin’s unease, but hospitals gave him the willies. “Thanks, Sir. I don’t,” Kevin swallowed, “I don’t know what I’d have done without you. I…” He started to cry. “Pup.” Joey reached for a tissue in his pocket. He wanted to dab at Kevin’s tears, but his lover’s face was such a mass of bruises, he feared he’d either hurt Kevin by touching his face, or maybe the tissue would cause an infection or something. Joey hated not knowing what to do. However, his thoughts were interrupted by someone pulling back the curtain. “Hello,” consulting her clipboard, the tall white-coated woman continued, “Mr Lawrence. I’m Dr Perry. I understand you received a number of blows to your head this morning.”

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“Yes, that’s right.” Kevin sniffed, reached for and received Joey’s hand, giving it a squeeze. The doctor glanced at their joined hands, but made no comment. Joey was ready to blast her if she’d said anything. He knew he had to settle down; being so agitated wasn’t helping his pup. The doctor shone a light in Kevin’s eyes, tested his strength, reflexes and countless other things. Then came the questioning. “Do you feel nauseous?” “No,” Kevin replied. “Headache?” “Um, yes.” “What about dizziness? Is your vision affected at all? Would you sit up for me?” Kevin complied. “I feel a bit unsteady.” Joey’s jaw tightened, but he was determined to keep a lid on his emotions. “Can you hear any ringing in your ears?” “Just a bit,” Kevin replied. That fucking bastard, Briggs! Joey forced himself to stop grinding his teeth. The doctor made a few more notes on her clipboard, then came the questions about the attack. Kevin immediately clammed up. “Pup,” Joey stroked Kevin’s arm, “You’ve gotta tell her what happened.” With great reluctance, Kevin told how Cal had burst into the outer office and just started laying into him without provocation. He tried as best he could to chronicle the various blows he had received. Joey’s anger started to rise again; he wished he’d finished Briggs off while he had the chance. The doctor checked Kevin’s story against what Joey knew. After writing a few more things down, she capped her pen and looked down at Kevin, who still held on tightly to Joey’s hand. “Mr Lawrence, as you know, your head has received several blows. I’m afraid the bruising that is currently visible will

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get worse before it gets better. But all that is on the outside and will no doubt heal given time. I want to talk about your internal injuries. You have suffered a mild concussion. When you receive a blow to the head, your brain, which is a bit like a ripened fruit, bounces off the hard bony surface of the inside of your scull.” Joey felt Kevin’s grip on his hand increase. “Try not to be too alarmed. We doctors are a cautious lot, but I am optimistic that you’ll make a full recovery given plenty of rest. However, I want to keep you in for observation for a few hours, just to be on the safe side.” “Do I have to?” Kevin pleaded. “Yes,” Joey told him firmly but kindly. “If you don’t present with any further symptoms for the rest of the day, then we’ll see about discharging you tonight.” “Thanks, doc,” Joey said. “I’ve written up a script for Acetaminophen, so that should help take care of your headache. I’m afraid you’ll be in for some pain over the next few days.” Kevin’s expression grew more sullen. “Unfortunately there’ll be a bit of a wait until we can find you a bed in our observation ward.” The doctor put her hand on the curtain and drew it back, “So please try and make yourself as comfortable as you can.” Turning to Joey, she said, “I’ll ask one of the nurses to come in and clean up your face.” **** Kevin’s head hurt. The soreness seemed to go down deep. But there was another hurt, too. One which Kevin thought he’d managed to conquer. However, the events of that morning proved Cal still had a frightening mental hold over him. Turning his head to the side, Kevin saw his sir having the cuts on his face attended to. Kevin knew Joey was strong and tough; therefore he found it strange, and slightly amusing to watch the tortured expressions which flitted across Joey’s face as the nurse patched him up. Kevin had to close his eyes. He felt weary, the pain

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draining him of his energy. But each time he thought he was about to drift off, someone would come round and shine a light in his eyes, take his temperature and check his pulse. Kevin knew all the tests were necessary, but he just wished they would go away and leave him and his sir alone. The afternoon dragged by with leaden slowness. At about 2 pm, a couple of plain clothed policemen came into the cubicle and began asking questions. They kept asking him the same things over and over again, Kevin growing ever more tired and confused as their interrogation continued. Eventually Joey, his magnificent protector, made them stop. But all they did was turn their attention to his sir instead. The older of the two, Kevin remembered him identifying himself as a detective sergeant, tried to suggest Joey had used unreasonable force when he hit Cal. Joey started to become angry; Kevin realised such a reaction could be counterproductive, so he reached out and gripped Joey’s arm. Kevin then tried to send his lover calming thoughts. It seemed to work. Joey settled down and told their inquisitors he’d come across Cal brutally attacking his friend, “And what did you expect me to do, stand back and watch?” “No, Sir, but you managed to cause Mr Briggs several severe injuries. He may be within his rights to press charges against you,” the detective sergeant said. “He can try,” Joey responded. “Just look at what he did to Kevin’s face. No jury would convict me, and you know it.” The detective didn’t answer. After more questions, the policemen left, telling Joey and Kevin they’d be in touch later. Kevin worried his sir might get into trouble for what he’d done, but thought it best to stay quiet. If it were up to him, Joey would be given a medal. **** Knowing he wouldn’t get any rest, and his head hurt way too much to read, Kevin used the seemingly endless time just to stare at things in the drab cubicle. When the clock finally dragged its way round to 4 pm,

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Kevin spoke up. “Sir, please go home. There’s no point in you sitting around here all day. When they finally release me I could call you.” He then realised he was being presumptuous. “Or I could get a taxi to take me home.” Joey, who had been dozing in the chair, opened his eyes and looked over at Kevin. “I ain’t going anywhere. Got it?” Kevin swallowed. “Thank you, Sir.” A warm sensation of love washed through Kevin. He’d hoped Joey would stay, but something within him—that old insecure nature of his—kept telling him Joey would want to leave just as soon as he could. Kevin knew there was no foundation for his fears, but he had them nonetheless. His thoughts were interrupted when Joey stood up and stretched. “I wish they’d get that bloody bed sorted. It’s not right you being stuck on a trolley all day.” “I don’t mind. It isn’t that uncomfortable.” I don’t care where I am, so long as you’re with me, Kevin told himself. “You must be hungry, Sir. You haven’t eaten anything since this morning, and you’re still full of cold. Why don’t you go and get yourself something to eat, there’s bound to be a cafeteria or something nearby.” Joey stretched his huge arms up into the air and farted loudly. “Suppose I ought to get something. You want me to bring you anything?” Kevin shook his head. He wasn’t hungry. “Will you be all right on your own?” “Yes, Sir, I’ll be fine. But could you give Peter a ring for me please? If I don’t tell him what’s happened, I’ll never hear the end of it.” **** Joey stood in the corridor, while Peter and Terry were in the cubicle with their friend. Peter had been at work, so Joey had called him on his mobile phone. After he’d talked Peter down from the panic of finding out that his best friend was in hospital, Joey had to answer a barrage of questions, all the while thinking

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that Peter would be able to get all the answers he needed if only he’d get off the bloody phone and come to the hospital. Once the call had been made, Joey grabbed a sandwich from the visitors’ snack bar. He had wanted to be back in plenty of time to make sure Peter and Terry didn’t overtire his lover. “Oh, Kev, you look terrible,” Peter’s high shrill voice carried through the curtains. Fuck, that’s just what he needs to hear, Joey groaned to himself. “Thanks,” Kevin said, “But Cal’s in a much worse state than me. I’ve not managed to find out what’s going on with him.” “What happened?” The much more measured tone of Terry’s voice asked. Kevin began to relay the events of that morning. Joey itched to get back into the cubicle when he heard Kevin sounding distressed. “How long have you been in here, why haven’t they found you a bed? Are they gonna keep you in overnight?” Peter asked, not giving Kevin time to answer. “Whoa, slow down,” Terry said. “Um, I was admitted first thing this morning, and I’ve been in here ever since. They reckon they’ll let me out this evening.” “You’re coming to stay with us,” Peter said, brooking no argument. That was it. Joey had to intervene. He pulled back the curtain and stepped into the crowded cubicle. “No, he’s going back with me.” “He can stay in our spare room. It’d only take me a minute to make up the bed. You’d be able to get all the rest you needed then,” Peter said. Kevin lay on his bed, his blue and blackened face moving from one speaker to another. “I’m more than capable of looking after him,” Joey said before sneezing. “Looks like it,” Peter observed. “Stop it!” Kevin croaked. Everyone turned to face him.

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“Please, it’s great that you’re all concerned about me, but I’m not up to any of this. I just wanna go home and sleep.” “I’ll stay with you, there then.” Peter said. Joey opened his mouth to say that he’d be the one staying with Kevin, before realising how childish it would sound. “Pup, whatever you want to do is what will happen, okay?” “Thank you, Sir.” “What’d you just call him?” Peter asked in surprise. “Butt out, Peter,” Terry said, putting a hand on his partner’s arm. Their discussion was interrupted by a porter appearing in the gap left by the open curtains. “Mr Lawrence? I’m here to take you up to the ward.” Turning to the three men standing in the cubicle, the porter continued, “I’m sorry, but we only allow two visitors by a bed, and only during visiting hours. So I’m afraid you’ll all have to go.” “What time is evening visiting?” Joey asked. “Seven o’clock,” the porter said, trying to guide his trolley into the crowded space next to Kevin. “But that’s ridiculous,” Peter protested. “Kevin needs us—” Joey squeezed himself between a still arguing Peter and Kevin’s trolley. Quietly he asked Kevin if he’d be all right on his own. “I could try and persuade them to let me stay with you.” “It’s okay, Sir. All I want to do is sleep, then hopefully this headache will go away.” Joey gently stroked Kevin’s hair. “If you’re in pain, tell them. You mustn’t hide anything like that from them.” “I know, thanks.” “Do you want me to bring you anything when I come back this evening?” “A change of clothes,” Kevin said almost at a whisper. Bending down, Joey kissed Kevin’s forehead. “I love you. If you need me before tonight, just get them to call me, okay?” “Thank you, Sir. I love you, too.” Joey and Terry backed out of the cubicle, Terry pulling a still protesting Peter along with him. Turning his head towards Kevin, Peter said, “We’ll be here

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tonight as well. You’ll need a lift back to our place anyway. I don’t like the thought of you being on your own tonight.” “Peter, that’s enough,” Terry said. Peter immediately shut up. As the three men began to make their way to the exit, Terry continued. “Look, Joey here is Kev’s boyfriend. Kev will probably want to stay with him. Kev knows we’re here for him if he needs us.” Peter’s shoulders fell. “Yeah, suppose you’re right.” Turning to Joey, Peter held out his hand. “Sorry, it’s just I worry so much about him. You did well to get him in here. Lord knows he should have been examined a couple of times in the past after that bastard worked him over, but I couldn’t ever get him to agree to come in, much less press charges.” “It’s okay,” Joey said, taking Pete’s hand. “I had to order him to come in. I even carried him to the ambulance. And he’s made a statement to the police as well. I told him he didn’t have any choice.” “Uh, yeah. Look I’m not very comfortable about, well, how you and Kevin are with each other.” Joey sighed. What Peter thought or didn’t think was neither here nor there, but he was Kevin’s friend, so Joey bit back the comeback he was going to use, and took a couple of seconds to formulate a more acceptable reply. “It was a bit of a shock when he started calling me ‘sir’, I can tell you. But it fits in with his submissive personality.” “Yeah, I don’t know why he’s like that. I mean, that’s how Cal was able to walk all over him for all those years.” Joey blew his nose, even though he’d lost most of his sense of smell, the warm odour of disinfectant still managed to get through. “There’s nothing wrong in being submissive.” He didn’t really want to get into a big discussion. “Look, it’s wonderful that you care so much for him,” He stopped walking and turned to face Peter and Terry, “I do too, very much. I could never hurt him or cause him pain. When I saw Briggs punching him this morning, I lost it completely. I, well if I hadn’t have heard Kevin groan, I’d probably have killed the piece of shit.”

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“It’s just that Kevin’s been hurt before, and we don’t wanna see it happen again,” Terry put in. Joey nodded. “Me neither.” The threesome had reached the main exit. “Did you say that you came in the ambulance with Kev?” Peter asked. “Yeah, he wouldn’t have come here otherwise.” “We’ll give you a lift back to your bike, then.” Joey was surprised by the offer, it forced him to reevaluate his opinion of Peter. The man was a bundle of nervous energy, and quite annoying at times, but Joey realised his heart was usually in the right place. Peter also loved Kevin, that much was obvious, so Joey decided he’d do his best to try and get along with the bloke. **** “Glad to be getting out of here, eh, Pup?” Joey asked as he walked along the main corridor of the hospital with his man. “It’s been a long day,” Kevin yawned. “They kept telling me that rest was the best medicine, but how could I rest when they kept prodding me all the time? There was a lot of noise on the ward too. And, well, you weren’t there, Sir, so I never got any sleep at all.” Seeing a dark alcove up ahead, Joey guided Kevin into it. Cupping his lover’s heavily bruised face in his hands, Joey kissed his swollen lips gently. “I missed you, too.” Putting his hands on Kevin’s shoulders, he stared down into those bottomless trusting eyes that were turned up to him. Throughout the afternoon Joey had tried to interest himself in housework, never a favourite occupation at the best of times. He’d wanted to go out for a walk, but thought it best to stay in, just in case Kevin or the hospital called. Though he had a mobile phone, he wasn’t sure if Kevin knew the number. So he’d done his best to while away the time until visiting. Finally the clock had ticked round till it was time to call for a taxi. He hadn’t thought it would be a good idea to take Kevin home on the back of his bike. Joey then found he had a half hour wait before

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visiting started. Waiting was something he hated. Being inactive allowed his mind to replay recent events, Joey becoming ever more angry with himself for not taking seriously Kevin’s fears concerning Briggs and his likely reaction to being investigated. Joey had failed Kevin big time, a fact which troubled him immensely. “You okay?” Joey asked, still gazing into Kevin’s eyes. Kevin broke eye contact and looked down. “I don’t know how you can kiss me, what with my face like it is. I managed to get a look at myself in a mirror a bit ago, and I look awful.” Joey gently lifted Kevin’s chin. “In both here,” he touched Kevin’s forehead, “and here,” he moved his finger to Kevin’s left upper chest, “You are beautiful. The most beautiful, giving and genuine person I’ve ever met.” Tears began to roll down Kevin’s bruised cheeks. Joey pressed his lover’s face to his shoulder and rubbed Kevin’s back comfortingly. When Kevin had collected himself, Joey wiped up the remaining moisture with a tissue. “Now let’s get you home.” They resumed their walk, Joey draping an arm over Kevin’s shoulder. “You hungry, Pup?” “Yeah, the food in here was crap.” “I know where there’s a fridge full of chicken soup that needs eating up.” Joey’s heart soared at the sound of Kevin’s laughter, as it echoed from the Spartan green-painted walls.

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Chapter 9 “No, Sir, I can’t.” Kevin moved to the other side of his new bed. He could feel himself beginning to shake. Ever since the attack he’d been an emotional and physical wreck, the least little thing sending his emotions spiralling. Knowing he was going into another panic attack, Kevin tried to stop himself from hyperventilating. “Pup,” Joey’s arm reached out and pulled Kevin back towards him. “I know it’s scary, but it’s something you’ve got to face sometime, you know you have to. And I think it’ll only make things worse if you put it off.” Joey used his most tender tone of voice, but it did little to quell Kevin’s panic. “I, I can’t. Please, Sir, don’t make me.” Joey traced his index finger down Kevin’s cheek, drawing patterns in the sheen of sweat that had broken out. “I’ll be with you. I’ll never be more than a foot away.” Kevin looked at his lover’s face, which showed a mixture of strength, tenderness, understanding and love. Kevin took a deep breath. He knew he’d have to go back to the office at some point, it was where he worked after all. But he didn’t want to face it yet. “Cal’s in custody. He won’t be there. And even if he was,” Kevin felt Joey’s muscles tighten, “there would be absolutely no fucking way I’d let him so much as look at you.” Gazing into Joey’s green eyes, Kevin sought the sincerity he could hear in his lover’s voice. Finding what he needed in abundance, he spoke. “I’m frightened.” Joey gave Kevin a light squeeze. Nodding, he said, “I know you are. But if you can face this now, I promise that you’ll feel a hell of a lot better.” Kevin sighed. He knew his sir was right, but that didn’t remove the terror he felt at re-visiting the scene of the crime. He’d been holed up in his one-room apartment for the past couple of days, too scared to venture out. He didn’t want anyone to see his horribly bruised face. Each time someone let off a firework, he’d jump with fright. But through it all, his sir, his strong and loving sir, was there, never leaving his side.

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“Pup, I hate seeing you like this, all nervous and jumpy. Most of it’s my fault. I’ll never forgive myself for not being there for you. Fuck, if only I hadn’t’ve been talking to Greg!” “Sir, no. We’ve been through this loads of times. It’s not your fault, it’s partly mine, but mostly Cal’s.” Joey raised himself on one elbow. “None of it is your fault.” Pointing a finger at Kevin, Joey continued, “Got that?” Kevin looked down. If only he hadn’t been so weak and stood up to Cal in the early days, then none of this would have happened. “Pup,” Joey’s voice re-focussed Kevin’s attention. “I don’t like doing this, but I need to push you. I know I’m asking a lot, but it’s for your own good.” Kevin didn’t reply. “Please don’t make me order you to go.” Joey leaned forward and softly kissed Kevin’s thickened, bruised lips. “You won’t leave me, not even for a minute?” “Not for a single second, cross my heart.” Joey accompanied his words with the appropriate gesture. “If we go this morning, the place will be empty, so you won’t have to see anyone. And with your helmet on, no one in the street will be able to see your face, not that there’s anything wrong with it.” Joey put in quickly. God bless him, he knew what was on my mind, Kevin thought. “If you promise that we can turn back if I get too scared,” Kevin paused, “then, yes I’ll go.” Kevin saw Joey’s face light up. It caused a warm tingle to wash through his body. “That’s my brave pup.” Joey lifted himself over Kevin, surrounding him with his reassuring bulk. Kevin felt Joey begin to lick and bite on the side of his neck. He always felt especially comforted when Joey was on top of him, demonstrating his dominance. Although Joey had the power to cause pain, he was using that same strength to give love and reassurance. ****

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Kevin stared at the digital lock, the final barrier between him and his fear of what lay inside the office building of the haulage company. His hand shook as it reached out to key in the sequence. He’d hoped Joey would have opened the door, carried him inside and never let him go. But his sir had insisted that Kevin had to do it all himself. At first Kevin thought he’d been tricked, and it was on the tip of his tongue to ask Joey to take him back home, but one look into the green eyes of his sir gave him the courage to move forward and confront his fears. “Parker had the numbers changed for the lock and the burglar alarm,” Joey said, handing Kevin a slip of paper. “just in case Briggs or one of his mates, if he has any, tries to get in.” Kevin nodded; that made sense. After punching in the new code, the lock released and Kevin pushed the heavy wooden door open. The pinging of the burglar alarm seemed louder than normal. Kevin reached for the control panel and entered that new code, too. Kevin froze when he turned on the lights in the corridor and the closed door of the outer office came into view. His knees began to give way. Joey was at his side instantly. “I’ve got you, Pup. You can do this.” Kevin wasn’t so sure. Drawing strength from the calmness of Joey’s tone, plus the physical reassurance of his presence, Kevin took a deep breath and stepped towards the door. Pushing it open, Kevin walked inside. He could hear his blood pounding loudly in his ears, and his chest felt tight. To his surprise the darkened room bore very few signs of the events of two days earlier. He couldn’t make out any blood stains on the carpet. The side of the filing cabinet had a dent in it. This, Kevin realised, must have happened when Cal had thrown him against it. He began to shiver at the memory. Closing his eyes, Kevin relived the fear, the pain, the overwhelming sense of weakness. He spun to face the door. He had to get out. It was all too much. Joey was standing in the doorway blocking him in, Kevin started to panic, he felt trapped, he couldn’t breathe. “Pup?” Joey asked softly.

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Kevin ran for the door; Joey stood aside, allowing him to pass. Once they were back in the relative safety of the corridor, Kevin was able to catch his breath. “I’m sorry, Pup. I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard.” Drawing in a lungful of air, Kevin said, his voice sounding shaky, “It’s okay, Sir. Honestly I think it’s okay. It just…” Kevin swallowed, his mouth had gone dry. “It was a bit too much. Please, will you hold me for a minute?” Joey complied. “I’ll take you home when you’ve calmed down.” “Thanks, Sir, but I’ve come this far. I’m gonna give it another shot.” Joey kissed the top of Kevin’s head. “That’s my brave pup.” Letting out a breath, Kevin asked, “Why is Cal like he is?” “Try not to think about it.” “I can’t help it. Every time I close my eyes, I can see his face coming towards me. That’s when,” Kevin shuddered, “That’s when I pissed myself. Oh, God!” Kevin tightened his grip around Joey’s waist. “Don’t. Briggs can’t hurt you any more. He’s been given the sack. He’s not gonna be let out of jail for a long time. You were so brave when the policemen asked you all those questions.” “I couldn’t have done it without you, Sir.” “Don’t know about that.” Joey kissed the top of Kevin’s head. The two fell silent. Gradually Kevin began to feel calmer. “I suppose I ought to go back in.” Kevin’s arms fell to his sides and he turned to the open door of the outer office. Walking inside the darkened space, he reached for and switched on the florescent lights. The now brightly lit room seemed far less terrifying than it had a few moments earlier. Kevin’s spirits rose. As he looked round the room, everything seemed normal, usual, not at all scary. “You okay?” Kevin heard Joey ask. He hadn’t realised he’d remained quiet for so long. Kevin nodded. “I feel a lot easier, um, in my mind I mean.

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It doesn’t look as bad as I thought it would, no blood or anything.” “That’s good.” Walking into the room, Joey sat down in a swivel chair and held out his arms. Kevin approached and allowed Joey to guide him onto his lap, positioning him so they were chest-to-chest. Kevin kissed Joey’s cheek. “Thank you, Sir. You were right about me coming here.” “Aren’t I always?” Joey asked, a cheeky grin lighting up his face. Kevin shook his head, but couldn’t help grinning back. Joey began to lick Kevin’s ear, resulting in the smaller man throwing wood. He had to reach down and adjust himself. Joey chuckled. Growing bolder, Joey unzipped Kevin’s jacket, reaching under his woollen jersey and T-Shirt. His fingers slowly crept up Kevin’s chest, which made Kevin shudder. Finding Kevin’s nipples, Joey began playing with them. Kevin whimpered. He was lost in a fog of desire, his fears of a few minutes earlier sinking into the background. “Wanna take you home, and make slow, gentle, healing love to you for the rest of the day,” Joey whispered as he continued to lick the side of Kevin’s neck. Kevin began to moan with desire. Joey had been scrupulous about not playing around since the incident, telling Kevin he couldn’t do it for fear of hurting him. Though Kevin hadn’t been in the mood for much action, it had crossed his mind more than once that Joey’s real reason for keeping his distance was because of his hideously bruised face. Kevin gasped when Joey bit on Kevin’s earlobe. “I’m close.” Joey ceased his activities. “Can you wait till we get back to my place?” “Uh huh,” Kevin said distractedly. “I’ll pick up a take-away then. Indian or Chinese?” Kevin’s mind slowly returned to the here and now. “I don’t mind. I could easily knock something up back at your place.” Joey grinned wickedly. “I’m the one who’ll be doing the

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knocking up, and I’m not talking about food!” Kevin giggled. It had been the first time since they’d come home from the hospital that he could remember laughing, and it felt good. Realising he hadn’t answered Joey’s question, Kevin said, “Um, I prefer a Chinese take-away.” “Then that’s what we’ll have.” Then Kevin remembered his appearance. He didn’t want to be in public looking as he did. Joey must have caught on. “You can wait outside and keep your helmet on if you like, but no one will say anything.” Joey flexed his muscles in a show of protective strength. “Thanks, Sir. I…” He swallowed, “It’s too soon, you know?” Joey nodded. “Okay then, let’s go.” He Lifted Kevin and sat him on a desk, then spun round. “Want a piggyback ride?” Kevin laughed. He couldn’t see why not, so climbed onto his lover’s broad leather-clad back and made himself comfortable. When Joey straightened up, Kevin smacked his partner on the behind. “Giddy-up!” Joey turned his head and treated Kevin to a stare of disapproval, but no matter how stern he tried to look, Kevin could see the corners of the man’s mouth turning upwards. Leaning forward, Kevin kissed Joey’s lips. “Thanks, Sir, for, well, for making everything all right.” “Just doing my job.” But Kevin could see his sir was pleased. **** As he stood inside the Chinese take-away, waiting for his and Kevin’s meals to be cooked, Joey kept stealing glances out of the window. Kevin had remained outside, straddling the pillion seat, still wearing his helmet. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise, Joey couldn’t help feeling responsible. He knew it would be a long time before he’d be able to forgive himself for

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not being there for Kevin when he most needed him. Another reason for Joey’s continued staring was because the sight of Kevin’s small body perched on the seat of his huge Harley was damned hot. Joey felt his balls beginning to tingle. As he continued to stare at his lover, Joey decided Kevin would look even sexier in a leather motorcycle jacket. A jacket also appealed to Joey’s sense of protectiveness. Leather would be safer if they should ever come off the bike. Though Joey knew he was always extra careful and never took any risks when he had his pup on board. His train of thought was interrupted by the diminutive Chinese woman behind the counter announcing that his order was ready. Just in time, Joey thought. He couldn’t wait to get home and make sweet love to his man. Joey hurriedly paid for the meal, telling the woman to keep the change—all fifteen pence of it. Snatching up the warm plastic bag, Joey sprinted out of the shop. Pulling a backpack from the bike’s pannier, Joey put the food into the bag and insisted on sliding it onto Kevin’s back. He took particular delight in making sure the straps fit Kevin snugly, affording him the opportunity to get in a quick feel. Kevin squirmed. Though the helmet’s visor hid Kevin’s face, Joey was willing to bet his man was blushing. After tapping the top of Kevin’s helmet, Joey straddled the bike, fired up the ignition, and conveyed himself and his lover home. **** Joey watched in quiet fascination at his pup’s dexterity as he picked up a piece of batter coated meat with his chopsticks and put it into his mouth. Joey could never get the hang of chopsticks, knowing he could get the food to his mouth much quicker if he used a fork. Kevin chewed his food thoughtfully before swallowing. Joey had a good idea what was coming next. “Sir, this doesn’t taste much like chicken.” “That’s ’cause it’s pork.”

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“Oh, Sir!” Joey grinned to himself, he’d been right. Setting down his fork, he said, “I like pork. I don’t eat it that often, but,” his grin spread to the outside, “sometimes I just get to wanting something so bad, and I never deny myself anything that I want.” He winked at Kevin, who promptly went a most attractive shade of red. The pair continued to eat, occasionally making the odd comment, but by and large they remained quiet. Joey was happy to see Kevin tucking into his food; he’d barely eaten enough to keep a sparrow going for the past couple of days. Jesus, Joey thought, I’m turning into my mother! When they were about half way through, the telephone rang. Joey swallowed before reaching up to the wall-mounted extension next to him. “Hullo?” Joey wiped his mouth on a piece of paper towel. “Uncle Joey, it’s me,” a voice which sounded like its owner had just stopped crying, said. “Simon? What’s wrong?” Joey found himself rising to his feet. “Mum, she’s just told me that she won’t take me to the fireworks this Tuesday, and after she’d promised, too.” Fuck! Joey thought. Carole was forever pulling shit like that. Didn’t she know how bloody lucky she was to have a kid? “Why’s she not taking you?” “Her boyfriend is gonna take her out to the pictures or something!” Simon’s voice dripped with disgust. Joey shared his nephew’s opinion of his mother’s boy toy. He’d only met the slime-ball once, and within ten minutes had decided the bloke was a loser. “Sorry, champ.” “Are you doing anything that night, Uncle Joey? Will you take me? I’d rather go with you anyway. Mum never lets me have fun when we go out.” “Oh, um.” Joey sneaked a peek at Kevin. He remembered the joy written on his lover’s face when he’d brought up the possibility of them attending the local organised bonfire together. Joey squirmed uncomfortably. He had to make a choice between

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his lover and his family. Kevin had earlier told Joey that because of his bruises he didn’t want to go. Joey had put his foot down and told his pup it would be dark, and they could stay away from the crowds. What could he do? He knew he’d have to say something. The phone line had gone deathly quiet. Screwing his eyes shut, Joey opened his mouth. “I’m really sorry, Champ, but I’ve got something on this Tuesday.” “Oh, right.” Was that a sniff? Joey knew that whatever decision he’d made, he’d end up hurting someone’s feelings “Can’t you go with some of your mates or something?” “I suppose I can ask. But it’d have been really rad if you’d have taken me. Tim and Bobby were dead impressed when they saw you at the park the other day.” The little shit’s trying to get me to change my mind, Joey grinned to himself. “Well, you give them a ring then, and see if you can go with them. Okay?” Joey ended the call. He hated letting his nephew down, but he saw no alternative. Sitting back on his stool, Joey played with what was left of his meal, but he’d lost his appetite. “Sir?” Joey looked up to see Kevin’s anxious expression. “Sorry, Pup. That was my nephew, Simon.” He went on to tell Kevin about the phone conversation. “I don’t mind staying at home. You can’t let him down, he’s only a kid.” Once again the image of Kevin’s joyous reaction at being invited out on a date swam into Joey’s head. “No, Pup. I’m taking you. Simon will just have to go with one of his friend’s parents. He’ll be okay.” Kevin resumed his meal, but Joey just picked at his. After a couple of minutes of uncomfortable silence, Kevin said, “Have you thought what’ll happen when Simon sees us at the bonfire? He’ll want to know why you said you couldn’t take him.” Fuck! He’s got a point, Joey thought. “Why can’t we all go together? I’d like to meet your nephew.”

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Joey pondered the point. He’d always strived to keep Kevin well away from his family. “It would just be kind of awkward.” “Oh.” Kevin looked down at his plate. “Pup?” Kevin didn’t say anything. “What’s the matter?” Kevin looked up, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. “Nnothing. I’m okay.” Joey went round the table and knelt next to Kevin’s stool. “It doesn’t look like nothing.” “I’m just being silly. Please, Sir, don’t take any notice.” It suddenly dawned on him what was going on. “It’s not what you’re thinking. You know I’m not out to my family, it’d just…” He sighed. “I don’t know. Though one thing I’m very sure of is that I’m not ashamed of you, or the fact that I love you.” Kevin looked up. “You still love me?” “Of course I do. What made you think I didn’t?” Kevin sniffed back his tears. “Sorry, I’m still all messed up from, well, you know.” Joey reached out and gave Kevin a comforting hug. As he knelt there, an idea began to form in his head. “Do you think we can play it straight? I mean, pretend that we’re just mates or something in front of Simon?” “We’d be out in public anyway, so we wouldn’t be able to kiss and hold hands even if Simon wasn’t with us.” Kevin had a point. “Okay. I’ll ring Simon back and tell him that my best friend from work and me will take him.” Kevin smiled. “Thanks, Sir.” “I hope you realise that it’ll be hell for me. I won’t be able to kiss you,” Joey leaned forward and pressed his lips to Kevin’s. “Or stroke you,” A hand moved up Kevin’s leg, causing him to moan, “Or fondle you. “ The hand took hold of Kevin’s rapidly swelling crotch. “And claim you as mine.” Joey picked Kevin up and carried him off to the bedroom, ignoring their half-eaten meal. After laying Kevin on the bed and taking off his spectacles, Joey began to slowly remove his lover’s clothing,

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kissing and licking the skin as it became accessible. Knowing his pup’s nipples were especially sensitive, Joey spent extra time lapping and pinching them gently between his teeth. Once they were wet, Joey blew several streams of cold air over the sensitised nubs. Kevin began to writhe and moan. Meanwhile Kevin was rubbing his hands along Joey’s shoulders before sliding them down his back. Joey, who was still clothed, became evermore anxious to get naked himself so he could better feel his lover’s hands as they ranged across his body. After doing a quick strip—not allowing Kevin to help— Joey laid down by Kevin’s side. “You sure about this? It’s not too soon after, well, you know?” “Need you so much, Sir. Please.” Joey kissed Kevin’s closed eyes. “Can you hold on for just a minute? I better put our Simon out of his misery.” Joey reached over Kevin for the phone on the bedside cabinet. Kevin continued his tactile worship of Joey’s body, causing the older man to lose concentration. It took two wrong numbers before he finally dialled the correct one. To Joey’s annoyance his sister answered the phone. “Put our Simon on!” he said brusquely. Kevin stroked Joey’s tense shoulders trying to relax him, his efforts were only partially successful. “And good afternoon to you, too,” Carole replied. “Just put him on. I’ve managed to rearrange things so I can take him out on Tuesday. Which is a bloody sight more than you could do,” he added more quietly. “He came crying to you did he?” Joey’s jaw set, and he started to grind his teeth. Kevin’s right hand began to rub at Joey’s chest. “Is he there?” He glowered at Kevin, who withdrew his hand. Joey heard Carole put her hand over the handset, but it didn’t prevent him from hearing her say, “It’s your Uncle Joey. Don’t be on all day, Keith said he was going to call me later.” After the receiver had been handed over, a cautious sounding Simon said, “Hello?” “Hey, Champ. You still want me to take you to the bonfire

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on Tuesday night?” “Yes, if it isn’t too much trouble.” Simon still sounded cautious but there was a definite note of optimism, too. “Me and a mate from work will take you, if that’s all right?” “Wicked! Thanks, Uncle Joey.” Simon’s excited voice—combined with Kevin’s renewed ministrations—caused a warm tingle to wash through Joey’s body. Joey smiled at Kevin, who blew him a kiss. “Glad I could help.” “I didn’t think I’d be able to go. None of my friends had any room in their parents’ cars.” Joey was reminded he didn’t own a vehicle that could get all of them there. “Can you put your mother back on for a minute?” “Okay, hang on.” “Yeah?” Carole asked. Joey tamped down on his dislike for his sister before saying, “I’ll need to borrow your car.” “What?” “You won’t be needing it. Slime, um, I mean Keith will be taking you out in his car.” “I don’t know. You’re not insured for my car. I—” Joey shook his head in frustration. God, you’re such a bitch, he thought. Needing to end the conversation before he said something he might later regret, Joey decided to play his trump card. “Okay then, we’ll go in mum’s. Of course I’ll have to tell her why I can’t use yours.” The line went silent for a moment. “Oh, do whatever you want.” “Thank you so much, sister dear,” Joey said with heavy sarcasm. “Now put Simon back on.” A moment later Simon asked, “Is everything okay? Mum looks really piss…um, I mean mad.” Joey tried not to laugh. “Yeah, Champ, it’s fine. I just needed to borrow her car to get us there.” Kevin had started to play with Joey’s dick, which had begun to harden. “I’ll be round at about seven, okay?” “Kewl!”

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Joey winced. Where on earth did kids get such expressions from? “Thanks, Uncle Joey.” After putting the phone back in its cradle, Joey began to tickle Kevin. “You’ve been a very bad pup.” “Sorry, Sir, but…well, it’s kind of your own fault,” Kevin said through his laughter. “How’d you work that one out?” As much as he was able, Kevin put on a serious expression. “Well, um, Sir when you’re naked, you’re well, kinda, um, I mean, you’re so awesome.” Joey stopped his tickling and grinned. “You saying I’m not awesome when I’m wearing clothes?” “Oh, no, Sir, not at all.” Joey bent down and kissed the tip of Kevin’s nose. “Just messing with you, Pup. You’re just as awesome to me, you know.” “I dunno about that.” Joey sighed, “You’ve gotta start believing what I tell you.” Locking eyes with Kevin, he continued, “You’re the only man I’ve said ‘I love you’ to. You’re the only man I’ve made love to. And you’re the only man I ever want to make love to. Got it?” Kevin looked as though he was about to start crying again. “Now come on, all this mushy stuff is making my dick go soft,” Joey said, feeling uncomfortable at the romantic turn their conversation had taken. Kevin giggled. Looking deeply into Kevin’s eyes, needing to check for any sign of his lover not telling the truth, Joey asked, “Are you sure you want to go all the way? It’s not too soon or anything?” “Sir,” Kevin swallowed and stared right back, “You’re better than any medicine the doctor could ever give me.” Convinced his lover was being sincere, Joey promised himself he’d do everything he could to make his act of lovemaking as special as he could. Joey had read somewhere that saliva had healing properties. This in mind, he began to shower Kevin’s upper body in wet kisses. He followed this up by licking the black, blue and

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purple patches on Kevin’s head and neck. Deciding he’d wet those areas sufficiently, Joey traced his tongue down Kevin’s hairless chest. After spending some time exploring the navel, Joey centred his attention on Kevin’s scrotum. Kevin’s whimpers and involuntary muscle spasms increased. Joey always got a buzz out of being able to render his lover insensible. Lifting Kevin’s knees, Joey dove for his pup’s arse crack. Thanks to Kevin showing him how great a rim job could be, Joey did his best to replicate what Kevin had done to him, hoping Kevin would feel what he had felt. Judging by the stream of nonsensical words which poured out of Kevin’s mouth as he thrashed his head from side-to-side, Joey was pretty certain he’d achieved his goal. However, fearing that too much head movement could be bad for his pup’s health, Joey reluctantly ceased his labours. Reaching for the lube, Joey began to stretch Kevin’s hole. After working at his task for ten minutes or so, Joey judged his lover was loose enough. With practiced ease, Joey sheathed his dripping manhood in latex. After resting Kevin’s ankles on his shoulders, Joey gazed down at his lover’s still moist face, before guiding his steely hard member to its intended target. “Last chance. You sure about this?” he asked, ready to withdraw at the slightest sign of hesitation. “I need you inside me so bad, Sir. Please.” Kevin’s rosebud soon yielded, allowing the head of Joey’s dick to gain entry. After pausing for a few moments to revel in the amazing combination of heat and pressure, Joey continued his entry, making sure to graze Kevin’s prostate as he passed it. Once he was balls deep, Joey held himself still. Looking down, he watched his lover closely. Kevin’s eyes were unfocused and his mouth lay slightly open. All of Joey’s instincts told him to pound Kevin’s arse as hard as he could, but fortunately his recently acquired powers of gentleness and loving came to the fore. Bending down to deliver a tender kiss to Kevin’s forehead, Joey renewed his determination to put his own needs aside and make things as special as he possibly could for his partner.

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Setting a steady pace, Joey guided the pair of them slowly but inexorably towards climax. As he laboured, Joey was again struck by the realisation that by concentrating on giving pleasure to his lover, he received a shit load more pleasure himself. “Let’s see if we can come together,” Joey said, a light sheen of sweat matting down his chest fur. Sensing Kevin was close to the edge, Joey backed off. Once they were in safe waters again, Joey added a little more power to his strokes, but still maintained his steady, unhurried rhythm. Once they were in sync again, Joey began to press harder and deeper into his partner’s insides, jabbing at Kevin’s prostate on each in stroke. Then, much to his joy, the pair plunged over the precipice together, Joey firing his essence into the rubber as Kevin sprayed his over the both of them.

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Chapter 10 Simon continued to pace his untidy bedroom. Throwing a quick glance at the small brass alarm clock on his bedside table, he saw it was a quarter past seven. “Where are you, Uncle Joey?” he asked out loud as his pacing took him to his window. Looking down at the quiet street he began to despair. **** The day had started out shitty and hadn’t got any better. When Simon awoke that morning an all too familiar wetness greeted him. Lifting up his covers, the weak ammonia smell hit his nostrils. Holding back a sob, Simon rolled out of bed, took off his pyjamas and stripped the sodden sheets from the mattress. If he was lucky he could get them into the washing machine and start it up before his mother noticed. Alas, his luck didn't hold. Carole was sitting at the kitchen table smoking a cigarette when he entered the room. She took one look at the soiled bedding in her son’s arms and started in at him. “Not again! Don’t you think I’ve got enough to do, without having to clean up after you?” She stubbed out her cigarette, rose from her chair and reached for the wet linen. “It’s okay, Mum, I can do it. Please just, please go and sit back down.” Simon was close to tears, but was determined not to give his mother the satisfaction of letting her see she’d upset him. Concentrating hard on the great time he was going to have with his uncle later that night, Simon bundled the sheets into the washer, added powder and set it going. After hurriedly downing a bowl of cereal, communicating as little as he could with his mother, Simon set out for school. “Now, children,” Simon’s form teacher said after the register had been taken, “Does anyone know what today is?” A number of hands went up—although Simon knew, he didn’t want to draw attention to himself—so he kept his hand down.

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“Yes, Bobby,” the teacher pointed to one of Simon’s friends. “Miss, Miss, it’s when we burn the guy and let off loads of bangers and stuff.” “Yes, that’s right, but does anyone know who ‘the guy’ is meant to be?” Fewer hands went up this time. “Miss, it’s Guy Fawkes, he tried to blow up the king,” a girl on the front row called out. “That’s right, Guy Fawkes and his co-conspirators hid a lot of gunpowder in the cellars under the House Of Lords on the fifth of November 1605. Back then, anyone who was Roman Catholic wasn’t treated very well by the government, so Guy Fawkes and some of his friends thought they’d try and kill the king and senior members of the government.” “But they didn’t do it, Miss, did they?” the same girl asked. “No, because someone found out about it, they searched the cellars, found the gunpowder as well as Guy Fawkes.” Simon was disappointed the teacher didn’t go on to mention that Fawkes and his mates were tortured till they died. Squirming in his chair, Simon thought what it’d be like to watch someone being hung, drawn and quartered. The class then had to repeat the rhyme ‘Remember remember the fifth of November, gunpowder treason and plot. I see no reason why gunpowder treason should ever be forgot.’ “Now, does anyone know what’s inside a firework?” A few hands went up, but again Simon couldn’t be bothered. Ever since his Uncle Joey had promised to take him to the bonfire, he’d looked up the subject on his computer. “They’ve got gunpowder in ’em, Miss.” “That’s right. And we set them off to show that the gunpowder plot was discovered.” The teacher then droned on about how fireworks were dangerous, and how they had to be handled by a grownup and… ****

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The familiar roar of an approaching motorbike engine broke into Simon’s thoughts. As he watched the single headlamp coming down the street, his spirits soared. Racing down the stairs, ignoring his mother’s protests not to run, Simon flung open the front door, and launched himself at his idol, who was dismounting from his motorcycle. “Sorry we’re a bit late, Champ,” Joey said, picking his nephew up and spinning him around. “I thought you’d forgotten,” Simon found himself close to tears. “Hey, I’d never forget my favourite nephew.” Joey gave Simon a tight squeeze before turning back to his bike. “I want you to meet Kevin. He’s a good friend of mine from work.” The smaller man got off the back of the bike, took off his helmet, and waved shyly at Simon. Even in the dim light cast by the nearby street lamps, Simon could see the man’s face was covered in bruises. “Do you drive a big lorry like my Uncle Joey does? He let me sit in his cab once. It was really rad.” “Um, no. I work in the offices,” the soft spoken man said, dipping his head. “Come on, we best get the car keys from your mum and be on our way,” Joey said, carrying his nephew to the house and depositing him in the kitchen. “Evening, sis.” “You’re late! He’s been moping round the place for the past half hour waiting for you.” “Yeah, sorry about that, Champ, we got held up,” Joey said to Simon, totally ignoring his sister. “Can Simon sleep at your place tonight, Keith just called and said we’d be out pretty late, and…” “Can I? That’d be ace!” Simon yelled, jumping up and down. Tonight’s turning out okay after all, he thought. Joey frowned, looked at his friend, then turned back to Carole. “I wish you’d have given me more notice. I kind of had plans tonight.”

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“You’re always telling me you don’t get to spend enough time with him,” she said, pointing at Simon, “So now’s your chance.” Turning towards her son, Carole continued, “Go and pack a bag. You best take that rubber sheet, too. I don’t want a repeat of last night’s bed wetting.” Simon’s mouth opened in horror. He could feel his face drain of all its colour. How could she? Simon ran out of the room and tore up the stairs. Flinging himself on top of his bed, Simon let his misery overtake him. His uncle, the man he loved more than any other man alive, wouldn’t want anything to do with him now. How could she! Simon felt his whole world crumbling around him. **** “God, Carole, you’re such a fucking bitch!” Joey felt his fists clenching. “Don’t you bloody talk to me like that!” “You’re not fit to have a kid like our Simon. I’ll never know how such an evil, uptight, self-centred cow like you ever gave birth to such a sweet kid.” The next thing Joey was aware of was a stinging pain on his left cheek. He heard Kevin gasp in alarm. Feeling his resolve not to give his sister a well deserved slap weakening, Joey spun on his heel and slowly made his way upstairs. Hearing Simon’s sobs from across the landing, Joey quickened his pace, and pushed open the door to Simon’s room. Sitting himself on the bed next to the weeping boy, Joey tried to calm his own raging emotions. Simon lay on his bed, his face turned towards the wall. However, Joey could tell the boy was making an effort to stop crying. “You might as well go home, it’s all spoiled now,” the voice, hoarse from crying, said. “No, Champ, I’m not going anywhere.” Joey started to rub circles on Simon’s back. “What your mum said was unforgivable, but, you know it doesn’t make any difference to me. Most little

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boys, and probably most little girls, too, have accidents now and then. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” “It doesn’t happen much, honest it doesn’t.” Joey could tell Simon was getting worked up again. “It’s okay, Champ. I believe you.” “You don’t hate me?” The plaintive question tugged at Joey’s heart strings. Joey shook his head. “I could never hate you. I love you, I’ll always love you.” Simon turned round, his blue eyes swimming with tears and gazed lovingly up at his uncle. “You sure?” Nodding, Joey held out his arms, Simon leaping into them. “I wish I could come and live with you all the time. I know you’d love me and not shout at me like mum always does. I don’t think she loves me any more. I think I remind her too much of Dad.” Joey couldn’t speak. Deep down he knew there was some truth in his nephew’s words. Tightening his hold, Joey began to rock the boy in his arms. A whistling noise, followed by a loud bang, reminded Joey why he was there. “Go on, get that bag packed, then we can blow this pop stand.” Simon giggled, the sound causing Joey to smile. Simon gathered together a few items, including a couple of hand-held electronic games, and stuffed them into his backpack. “Erm, what about that rubber sheet?” Simon asked hesitantly. Joey knew he was being tested. I’ve got to show him that I trust him, he thought. “Nah, leave it here.” Simon’s face lit up. “Got everything?” Joey asked, standing up and approaching the bedroom door. “Yeah, think so.” Turning back to face his nephew, Joey had an idea. “Will you do me a big favour?” Simon nodded, beaming at being treated like a grown up. “You’ve seen the bruises on my friend Kevin’s face?”

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“Yeah, did someone hit him or something?” “Yeah, and he’s still really unhappy about it, so will you be nice to him and try to cheer him up?” “’Course I will. Why did they hit him?” Joey paused, knowing he couldn’t go into detail. “The man who hit him used to work at Parker’s, and he thought Kevin had done something to get him into trouble. But please don’t ask him about it though, ’cause it’ll upset him. Okay?” “Okay.” **** “Did you see that one, Uncle Joey? Wasn’t it pretty?” “Yeah, Champ, a real whopper.” Joey shifted his gaze from the fireworks exploding in the pitch black sky, to watch the excited expression on Simon’s face. Joey then sneaked a peek over at his lover, who was also looking up enjoying the pyrotechnics. He couldn’t help the sense of satisfaction and contentment at knowing his pup was outside having a good time. Best of all, the two most important men in his life seemed to be getting on okay. Kevin had been hesitant at first. Joey knew it always took time for Kevin to warm to someone new. “Can I have a baked potato, Uncle Joey?” Simon had been asking for various things throughout the evening, Joey knew he ought to try and curb the requests, but knowing the kid hadn’t had a good day, he relented. “You sure you can fit one in? You’ve eaten loads already.” “I’m sure. Mum says I’m a bottomless pit.” “I think she’s right. Go on then.” Simon treated Joey to a hug “But that’s all for tonight, I don’t want you throwing up in the car on the way home, okay?” Joey took a step forward, but Simon remained where he was. “I want Uncle Kevin to take me.” Simon looked pleadingly up at Kevin, who instantly melted. “Uh, well, if you’re sure,” Kevin said. “I am. Come on.” Simon reached out and grabbed Kevin’s

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hand, leading him away. Joey was touched at his nephew’s gesture. Kevin had been quiet all evening. This was Simon’s way of fulfilling his promise to cheer Kevin up. Joey smiled as he watched the two retreating figures, Kevin only a head taller than his eight-year-old companion. Although Joey was looking forward to spending the whole evening and night with his nephew, he knew he’d miss Kevin terribly. They hadn’t spent a night apart since their whirlwind romance had begun. Joey felt a twinge of pain at how he had to compartmentalise the different elements of his life. He had been looking forward to undressing Kevin later, and maybe having him wear his new leather jacket as they fucked. Joey had realised they’d be passing a clothing warehouse that specialised in leather goods on the way to his sister’s place, so they’d set off a bit early to check it out. Kevin had been a bit resistant at first. No doubt the price-tags had put him off. He wasn’t all that mollified when Joey told him that his sir was paying. Kevin had looked at and tried on various jackets, Joey having to hide his erection. The little bloke had looked fucking awesome clad in shiny black leather. However, Kevin hadn’t seemed overly enthusiastic about any of the jackets he tried. “Come on, Pup, you looked really hot in that last one. What was wrong with it?” “Um, nothing I suppose.” Kevin had looked at Joey, an unspoken question on his face. “Come on, out with it. I told you not to worry about how much they cost.” “No, Sir, it’s not that.” After a moments silence, Joey had asked, “Well, what is it then?” he’d known he was sounding impatient, which would guarantee that Kevin would clam up. “Sorry, Pup, but we can’t hang about much longer.” “Well, um, Sir, it’s just,” Kevin had stared hard at Joey. “Um, would it be okay if I, um, had a jacket that matched yours?” Shit! Joey had slapped his forehead, Why the fuck didn’t I think of that? Not caring they were in public—albeit a virtually deserted warehouse—Joey had kissed Kevin on the lips, his

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heart fit to burst that his man wanted to look like him. “Uncle Kevin bought me a hot dog as well, that was okay wasn’t it?” Simon asked, approaching Joey. Kevin received a stern look from Joey, causing the younger man’s face to fall. Joey chastised himself, Kevin hadn’t had that many things to smile about recently. When Simon became distracted by his food, Joey put an arm around Kevin’s shoulder and leaned in to whisper, “Sorry, Pup. Of course I don’t mind that you wanted to give Simon a treat. Hell, if anyone’s guilty of over-indulging the little sod, it’s me.” Kevin lifted his head and gave Joey a small smile. Feeling bold, not to say horny, Joey glanced quickly around before dropping his arm from his lover’s shoulders and pinching Kevin’s arse. Kevin started in alarm and shot Joey a look. Leaning in close, Joey said, “I couldn’t resist. You are one fucking hot man in that new jacket, you know? And you’re turning me on so fucking much.” Grabbing Kevin’s hand, Joey moved it towards his crotch. “Wanna feel how much?” Kevin jerked his hand away and shot Joey another look. Joey merely grinned lasciviously. **** Although Kevin was forced to admit he was enjoying himself being outdoors and on a sort of a date with his sir, he wasn’t sorry when they stopped letting off the fireworks. Sniffing, Kevin thought he could detect the smell of roasting chestnuts. He hadn’t had them in years, and the smell was making his mouth water. “Simon, do you want to share a bag of chestnuts with me?” Kevin had been delighted at what a great kid Simon had turned out to be. “Can I?” He looked first at Kevin then at his uncle. “Go on then,” Joey said, shrugging his shoulders. Though Simon didn’t reach for Kevin’s hand straight away, he felt the need of it when they approached a crowd of people who had gathered around the various food sellers. Though Kevin never thought of himself as paternal, he wouldn’t

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have minded having a kid if he was like Simon. As they queued, Simon seemed to spot someone he knew, resulting in him letting go of Kevin’s hand before hailing his friend. “Bobby, over here.” When the boy, a little more sturdily built than Simon, approached, Kevin could see that the newcomer’s face was smeared with candy floss and tomato ketchup. Simon didn’t hesitate in pointing out the fact. “Sorry,” Bobby said, dabbing at his face, “I came with my dad and Uncle Stephen.” He pointed to two men in the crowd. “This is my Uncle Kevin,” Simon said. “He and Uncle Joey brought me.” Kevin was delighted to be raised to the status of an honorary uncle. “Cool,” Bobby said. Once Kevin reached the head of the queue, he ended up buying three bags of chestnuts, handing one to Bobby. After speaking with his dad and uncle, Bobby followed Kevin and Simon back to Joey. The wind had gotten up, and despite the protection that his new jacket afforded him, Kevin’s teeth had begun to chatter. As soon as the group reached Joey, the older man said, “Come on, we’re moving a bit nearer the fire to get warm.” As they walked, Joey casually slung an arm around both Kevin and his nephew’s shoulders. Kevin couldn’t help thinking that their threesome—the strong and protective Joey in the middle—formed a perfect little group. Bobby stuck close to Kevin, Simon and especially to Joey for the rest of the evening. When Simon began to hide his yawns—despite his protests that he wasn’t tired—Joey decided they ought to call it a night. “We best find your dad. Where did you say he’d gone?” Joey asked, putting a hand on Bobby’s shoulder. Kevin saw the worshipful look Bobby gave Joey. “Probably the beer tent.” The crowds had diminished quite a bit, so it didn’t take

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them long to track down Bobby’s father, who looked a bit the worse for drink. Fortunately his companion seemed far more sober. After dropping Bobby off, Joey resumed his position at the centre of his little group, pulling both Kevin and Simon close to his body for warmth. **** “Don’t let anyone in the car. I’ll only be a minute,” Joey said to Simon when he’d pulled up outside Kevin’s block of bed-sits. “No probs, Uncle Joey,” Simon said, snuggling further into the front passenger seat which he’d snagged before they’d set off. “Honestly, there’s no need,” Kevin said, unclipping his seatbelt. Joey climbed out of the car. He wanted to make sure his pup got to his room safe and sound, not to mention the fact that he was burning to give Kevin a huge soppy kiss goodnight. Knowing he would have to be quick about it, Joey hurried Kevin up the stairs. “Fuck! I’ve wanted to get my hands on your awesome bod all evening.” Joey pressed Kevin against the closed door. Forcing Kevin’s mouth open with his tongue, Joey licked, sucked and ate hungrily on Kevin’s lips. Withdrawing to take in a much needed breath, he said, “God, I needed that.” “Uh,” Kevin said, looking up at Joey with unfocused eyes. “You sure you’ll be okay on your own? I could have murdered our Carole for pushing our Simon onto me for the whole night.” “It’s okay, Sir, you need to spend time with him, he worships the ground you walk on, you know.” “Rubbish. It’s just that I’m the only adult bloke who pays him any attention.” “Sorry, Sir, but you’re wrong. That kid idolises you.” Kevin dropped his gaze. “I should know, ’cause I feel the same way.” That earned Kevin another kiss, Joey having to raise the man’s chin to deliver it. “And that other kid, Bobby, he’s not far behind either.”

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Kevin was breathless. Kevin got yet another kiss. Resting his forehead on Joey’s shoulder, Kevin said, “You called me awesome a minute ago, but you, well, Sir, you are totally wonderful and awesome and strong and kind and…” Kevin’s shoulders began to shake. In a quieter voice, he continued, “I thank God every night for sending you to me.” He sniffed. “And I also pray that he won’t take you away. ’Cause I…I…” Kevin dissolved into tears and clung to Joey. Hating himself for knowing he was pushed for time, Joey picked Kevin up, positioned one hand so it supported his pup’s bottom, and put the other behind his head. Exerting slight pressure, Joey brought their lips together once again. Kevin whimpered. “Hush,” Joey soothed. After setting Kevin down, Joey put his hands on his pup’s shoulders and stared into those bottomless brown pools. “I’m gonna miss you so fucking much tonight, you know that?” “I’ll miss you, too, Sir.” Sighing, Joey said, “I’ve gotta go.” “I know.” After continuing to stare at his lover’s eyes for another minute, Joey reluctantly turned away and made for the door. Standing in the hallway, Joey had to use every ounce of his will power not to re-enter the room, pick Kevin up and carry him back with him to his place. Giving a deep sigh, Joey put one foot in front of the other and headed downstairs and out to the car. Simon was asleep when Joey got back behind the wheel. Before starting the car, Joey spent a couple of moments looking at the innocent cherubic face of his nephew. “You’ve had a big day, Champ,” Joey whispered, stroking a lock of Simon’s hair from his forehead. By the time Joey had parked the car at his place, Simon was stirring. “Where are we?” he said after a jaw splitting yawn. “Home.” Joey unclipped Simon’s seatbelt before undoing his own. “Wish you didn’t live on the third floor,” Simon complained

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after he’d climbed two flights of stairs. “Sorry, Champ.” “Don’t suppose you’d carry me,” Simon said, treating Joey to his most imploring look. Joey was forced to admit the kid was cute, but he was a mere amateur when compared to Kevin and his seemingly endless variety of pleading expressions. With a dramatic sigh, Joey slung his nephew over his shoulder and resumed his walk up the stairs. Joey had to admit he got quite a kick out of carrying people who were smaller and more vulnerable than himself. “Umph! You’re getting bigger. Either that or I’m getting older,” Joey said, setting Simon down before fishing out his door key. Simon giggled. “Nah, you’re still really big and strong.” Joey shook his head to rid it of the momentary sense of déjà vu before pushing the door open. “Now, I want you in that bath, and then it’s straight to bed. And no arguments!” He put his hands on his hips and mock glowered at his nephew. “Okay, Uncle Joey.” Simon beamed. Joey headed for his fridge and popped open a can, downing half its contents in a few swallows. The smoke from the bonfire and fireworks had left him thirsty, and the beer hit the spot nicely. **** Sleeplessness was something Joey never suffered from. He could drift off within minutes of his head touching the pillow. But despite having drunk a second beer, and having a long soak in the bath, he couldn’t settle. The bedside clock read 12:08. Joey wondered if his pup would still be awake. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise, Joey knew his sleeplessness was entirely due to not having the comforting warmth of his lover cuddled up to him. Thinking it best to check Simon was asleep first, Joey got out of bed and slipped on his dressing gown. Opening the door to the spare room, he couldn’t help

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smile at how Simon had kicked down his covers, exposing his Superman pyjamas. Joey remembered giving Simon the pyjamas for his last birthday. Pulling the quilt up to Simon’s chin, Joey stroked back the kid’s hair before bending down and delivering a light kiss to the boy’s forehead. Tip-toeing out of the room, Joey closed the door. Seeing the row of coats hanging in the hallway, Joey’s face broke out into a wide grin. He had an idea. “I didn’t wake you, did I?” Joey whispered down the phone when Kevin had picked up after the second ring. “Uh, no, that you, Sir?” “Yeah. Because you’re not snuggled up next to me, I can’t sleep.” “Me neither,” Kevin said, yawning. “Will your phone reach to the bed?” “Um, I think so, why?” “Go and put on your new jacket, carry the phone to the bed and lie down.” “Uh?” Kevin yawned again. “Do I have to repeat myself?” “No, Sir. Sorry.” Joey heard Kevin put the receiver down. After a short silence there was rustling, then Kevin came back on the line. “Okay, Sir.” “You got your new jacket on?” “Yes, Sir, it’s lovely and shiny. Thank you for buying it for me.” “My pleasure. Now I want you to crook the phone under your chin, so you’ve got both hands free, okay?” “Um, yes, done it.” “Right. Start running your hands up and down your smooth, hairless chest, but I want you to imagine it’s my hands that are making love to you.” Much to his surprise Joey found he was really getting into this little fantasy. “Uh, oh, ooh.” Kevin’s moans of pleasure brought Joey’s staff to full hardness. Panting slightly, Joey continued, “Now I want you to

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start playing with those tiny nipples.” “Oh, Sir!” “Pull on them, Pup. Remember how much I love teasing your nips.” Kevin’s moans increased. Joey started leaking pre-come. He reached down to stroke himself, but didn’t want to shoot too soon, he wanted this to last. “Put a finger in your mouth, get it nice and wet. Now start playing with your arse, but don’t touch your cock. That’s an order.” Kevin whined, but Joey knew his pup wouldn’t disobey. “Sir, can I touch you, too?” Kevin asked, a note of pleading in his voice. Joey stopped massaging his penis, he hadn’t considered Kevin wanting to reciprocate, and ostensibly he’d called so they could wank off together, give Kevin a bit of a thrill and, if he were truly honest, hear his lover’s voice. “Okay then.” “Thank you. Sir, are you wearing your jacket, too?” “Sure am.” “Good, cause you look so dominant, so powerful in it. Sometimes when I’m on the bike, my small thin arms wrapped around my leather-clad sir, I, well, I have to concentrate real hard on not coming in my underpants.” Joey felt another round of pre-come ooze out of his pee slit. He smeared it around his cock-head with his thumb. “Sir, I’m stroking your big, broad, manly shoulders under your jacket. Can you feel me?” Joey released the grip on his cock, tucked the phone under his chin and ran both hands along his shoulders. Closing his eyes, he tried to picture Kevin caressing him. “Yeah, I can. You still playing with that tight hole of yours?” “Yes, Sir. It’s getting looser, it wants Joey Junior up there so bad.” “I know, I wanna slide Joey Junior up there, but we’ll just have to make do for tonight. Okay?” “Yes, Sir.” “I’m starting to play with your balls now. I’m rolling them around in my fingers, feeling how round and how perfect they are.” “Ooh, Sir, yes, thank you.”

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“I’ve moved out of your arse, and I’m stroking that cute little flat belly of yours. Your so thin, Pup. I’m gonna make you strong and more defined, but I don’t want you to have big muscles, ’cause I like having you a bit soft so I can cuddle you in my arms where I know you feel safest.” “I do, Sir, so much.” Joey could hear Kevin sniffing, he hoped he hadn’t gone too far, this was about fun, about getting off, not causing his pup to cry, especially as he wasn’t there to comfort him. “You okay?” “Yeah, sorry. I was just being daft.” “Wanna stop?” “No, Sir. Not at all.” After pausing for a few seconds, Kevin said, “I’m now running my hands along your leathered arms. They’re so big and strong.” “All the better to hug you with, my dear.” Joey tried to stifle a chuckle, he knew he was sounding like the wolf from Little Red Riding Hood. The line went quiet. Joey wondered what had happened, then he heard Kevin giggling. “Oh, Sir, I hadn’t meant to say it like that.” “I know. You feeling better now?” Joey was pleased to have raised Kevin’s spirits. “Do you want to carry on?” Joey hoped he did, because his balls were beginning to ache. “Yes, Sir.” Kevin took a couple of moments to settle. Joey assumed he had to get back into the mood. Finally Kevin said, “Sir, I’m now worshipping your awesome, wide chest and your abs. Oh, Sir, you’re so broad and strong. I love it when you let me rest my head there. It’s so soothing when I hear your heart beating.” This was turning out rather mushier than Joey had intended, but he wasn’t complaining. Yet again Kevin was proving that he—the big, macho truck driver—had a softer and more tender side. It opened up a whole world of new possibilities, ones Joey hadn’t even known existed before Kevin had come along. “Okay, Pup.” Although Joey didn’t want these wonderful feelings to come to an end, time was getting on, and he didn’t

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know how much longer he could last without climaxing. “I’m taking hold of your hard prick. Though it’s smaller than mine, it’s perfect, just like the rest of my pup. And that skin. I just love playing with it.” “Yes! Touch me some more, Sir. Let me come, Sir. I need to shoot soon.” “You grab hold of mine then, and we’ll shoot together.” Joey grasped his member and began to flog it. “Yeah, Pup, that’s it. Squeeze a bit harder.” Joey tightened his grip. “I’m close, Sir. So close.” Kevin’s voice rose in pitch. “Come with me, Pup,” Joey said, trying to stifle his shout as he came, copious amounts of jizz arcing out of his penis, painting his chest and belly, the final and weakest spurts rolling down his hand and pooling in his pubic hair. As he rested, Joey could hear Kevin’s ragged breaths gradually becoming deeper and less frequent. Neither man spoke for the longest time. Joey was content just to lie and be with his pup as they both recovered from a wonderful, sensuous, but no less heavy jerk-off session. “Think you’ll be able to get some sleep now?” Joey said, breaking the comfortable silence. “Uh, yeah.” It sounded like Kevin was already drifting off. Feeling rather sleepy himself, Joey said, “I’ve not got a run until tomorrow afternoon, um, I mean this afternoon,” he corrected. “So once I’ve dropped Simon off, I’ll come round, and maybe we can do it for real. Okay?” “I love you, Sir.” “Love you, too. Now get some sleep.” After replacing the receiver in its cradle, Joey tried to clean himself up. Deciding he needed warm water, he got out of bed, and padded towards the bathroom. Looking at himself in the mirror, he noticed his jacket had a few come stains on it. Joey thought about wiping them off, but decided they wouldn’t be too noticeable, so thought he’d leave them to show Kevin. After flushing, Joey returned his jacket to its hook and stuck his head around Simon’s bedroom door. The little angel was fast asleep, the quilt still tucked under his chin. As he watched his nephew

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sleep, Joey knew he was one of the luckiest men on Earth. He had an eight-year-old kid whom he could spoil, and a lover who worshipped him. Yeah, life sure is sweet. Joey pulled the bedroom door closed and headed back to his own room.

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Chapter 11 A frantic knocking on his door caused Kevin to snap his eyes open in surprise. Glancing at his bedside clock, he saw it was almost half-past eight. He normally didn’t sleep that late. He’d decided to sleep in his new leather jacket. If he couldn’t have Joey wrapped around him, then the jacket was the next best thing. The pounding resumed. “Just a minute!” Kevin said, getting out of bed. Unable to find his trousers and fearing the insistent knocking would disturb the neighbours, he picked up a hand towel to cover his essentials before disengaging the lock. Joey was standing in the hall. He bustled into the room and closed the door, before scanning Kevin’s body from head to toe. “You kinky bugger, did you sleep in it?” “Um, well.” Kevin could feel his cheeks glowing red. “Sorry.” Joey shook his head before advancing on Kevin and snatching the towel away. Grabbing the collar of Kevin’s jacket, Joey pulled the smaller man’s face towards his own. Looking closely at Kevin’s face, Joey said, “Your bruises are looking much better.” Stroking Kevin’s cheek, Joey asked, “Do they hurt as much?” “No, Sir, hardly at all.” “Well, they say the proof of the pudding is in the eating.” Joey closed the distance between them and spent the next few minutes sucking on Kevin’s face. Kevin was unable to do anything but moan with pleasure. He loved it when his sir took charge. When they finally parted, Joey took in a lungful of air and said, “I fucking missed you. Though it was great having our Simon stay last night, I’d… Well I’d have rather been with you.” Kevin found himself being lifted up and crushed against Joey’s body. In an effort to press himself even closer, he wrapped his legs around Joey’s waist, while his arms hugged his lover’s thickly muscled neck. In between his kisses, Joey said, “We’re going to do for

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real what we did over the phone last night.” “Uh!” Kevin replied. Joey carried his leather-clad lover to the bed and sat down, Kevin making no attempt to disentangle himself. “Um, Pup?” The hesitancy in Joey’s voice caused Kevin to come out of the wonderfully warm and fuzzy haze of passion he’d been enjoying. “I’ve been thinking. You don’t mind when I carry you about and shit like that, do you?” Kevin looked into Joey’s serious expression, and began to panic. Something was wrong. “Sir?” “I don’t make you feel uncomfortable or anything when I take charge, do I?” Hell, no! Kevin said to himself. But out loud he said, “No, Sir. Not at all. It’s…Well, it’s great. I love it when you dominate me, show me that you are stronger and superior to me.” Kevin tried to keep it together. Why was his sir saying these things? He didn’t want to break up with him, did he? No, Kevin desperately hoped it wasn’t that. “I don’t really understand how you can submit to me like you do.” “I’m sorry, Sir. I know I’m weak and not confident like you.” Kevin tightened his grip around his sir’s neck, hoping the man couldn’t tell he was scared. “I love everything you do for me. But honestly I wish I wasn’t such a pathetic cry-baby all the time. I’ve been trying to change, honest, Sir, I have. I know you don’t like it when I’m such a baby and I’m scared that you’ll…well you’ll…” Kevin didn’t think he could speak out loud his most frightening thoughts, which had begun to plague him throughout the night. They involved Joey growing tired of constantly looking after such a high-maintenance, weak and dependent boyfriend. Kevin had convinced himself Joey would leave him, and go back to his old life of bedding as many men as possible, and what Joey had just said was his way of starting the separation. Kevin felt the shakes getting worse. He didn’t think he could go on if Joey dumped him.

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“Stop it, Pup, stop it!” Joey’s harsh voice brought Kevin out of his nightmare scenarios. In a much softer voice, Joey went on, “Don’t go there.” He began to rub Kevin’s back. “I told you last night that you were the only man for me.” Looking right into Kevin’s eyes, he continued, “And you should know by now that I’m a man of my word.” “I’m sorry, Sir.” Kevin felt a wave of conflicting emotions racing round his small body. He was glad Joey wasn’t rejecting him, but hadn’t he just said that he would try and be stronger and not cry all the time? And what was the first thing he’d gone and done? “Kevin, you’re my pup. Mine. You know I love you, so why are you so wound up?” “Um, I don’t know.” Joey’s kind voice and gentle caresses began to seep into Kevin’s feverishly racing mind, enabling him to calm down and resume a regular breathing pattern. Looking into Joey’s concerned face, Kevin said, “Sorry, Sir. I was just being stupid. Please don’t take any notice of me when I get like that.” “No can do. It’s my job to take notice of stuff that makes you almost piss yourself with panic.” After a few moments of silence, Joey asked, “So what happened?” Kevin tried to organise his thoughts, but truthfully he didn’t have an answer, or at least not one that made sense. “It was when you asked me if I minded being carried and all that. It made me think that you wanted to change things, and, Sir, I don’t want you to change anything at all.” Kevin ran his tongue around his dry lips. “And with you being gone last night, and I totally understand why,” he was quick to add, “I had some bad dreams, I imagined that you’d left me ’cause you were sick of babying me, and if I’m honest, Sir, I wouldn’t have blamed you if…” “Pup.” Joey lifted Kevin from his knee and set him in the centre of the bed. After disrobing quickly, he peeled Kevin’s leather jacket from him and set it aside. Joey then got into the bed, pulled Kevin to his chest and tucked the quilt over the pair of them.

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Kevin wriggled down Joey’s chest a little until his head rested above his lover’s heart. Joey began to run his fingertips through Kevin’s hair, an action which Kevin always found soothing. “We’re going to get to the bottom of all this. Do you know how horrible it is for me to see you so eaten up like you were? “ As he lay listening to the steady and strong rhythm of his sir’s beating heart, Kevin knew there was absolutely no safer place he could be. “I’ve never been a confident person,” Kevin said, breaking his silence. “At school I wasn’t athletic, I was always happiest if I was left alone and could sit in a corner and read a book. We used to have compulsory games, and when we were divided up into teams, I was always one of the last to get chosen.” “Some of the bigger kids used to pick on me. Most of the time it was just name calling, but one or two would hit me when they found out I would never fight back. I used to stick around the teachers as much as I could, and if it got too bad, I would go and see the head of the lower school and tell him all about it. He was one of the few teachers I could trust, and he sort of took me under his wing. Of course the other kids called me a tattle-tale, and I suppose they were right. That sort of made me even less popular with the other kids, but so long as they left me alone, I didn’t care.” “I only really had one friend at school. Though eventually he proved not to be.” Kevin shivered. Joey leaned forward and kissed the top of Kevin’s head. Kevin let out a ragged breath. “Ray was a lot bigger than me. We lived next door to each other, and I thought he was totally wonderful. Of course this made me blind to all of his faults. I kept a diary but I had to make sure it was hidden away, ’cause I used to write down all my thoughts, how I was unhappy at school and at home. I also used to confess my undying love for Ray, too.“ “One day, Ray was in my room, I went to answer the phone or something, and I must have left my diary on my desk.” Kevin sighed. “To cut a long and very painful story short, Ray read my diary, and stormed out of the house. He didn’t say anything for

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a few days, he kept avoiding me, I was panicking inside.” “I think it was on the fourth day, Ray came up to me and told me that as I was a ‘fucking cock-sucking poofter’, I could suck on his cock. He whipped it out and forced me to my knees, and…and…you can probably guess the rest. He blackmailed me, if I didn’t perform sexual favours for him, he’d out me to the school and worst of all my parents. I stood it for months, Ray getting ever bolder and nastier as time went on.” “The really sick thing was that I began to realise that I kind of liked it when he dominated me. I didn’t like all the horrible names he would call me, and the times he would hit me. But I suppose that was when I realised that I had a submissive personality.” “But didn’t all the name calling and the other shit make you want to change your mind as to what you liked?” “Yes, I suppose so. But I couldn’t help my attraction. I thought I was a freak or something. That didn’t help with my…I guess you’d call it my self-image. When you add on the fact that I’m small and not very attractive, it all added up to a pretty sorry mess. I didn’t think I’d ever find a boyfriend, a man who would love me how I needed to be loved. I didn’t think such a person could exist. Though that never stopped me from dreaming about some big strong guy lifting me up and taking me away from all my miseries. I dreamt of him pulling me up into his strong arms and somehow we’d ride off into the sunset together and live happily ever after.” Kevin shook his head. “God, that’s so stupid and girly.” Joey tightened his embrace. “No, Pup, it isn’t. And if you think about it, it’s kind of how we met.” “Oh, trust me, Sir, I know, I still can’t believe it. That’s probably what set me off just now.” “How’d you mean?” “With you asking if I minded you carrying me and stuff. It was silly, I thought you were getting round to saying that you didn’t want to do it any more.” “But, I…” Kevin laid a hand on Joey’s chest. “I know. You weren’t

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meaning that at all.” “Didn’t you say that your parents kicked you out for being gay?” “Yes. When Ray moved away he left me with a parting gift. He told my family how I’d kept on bothering him, how I wanted to be queer with him.” “The fucking bastard!” “Yeah, that and a lot more.” “Fortunately I’d made friends with Peter by this point, so I went to stay with him. He didn’t know Terry then.” “You two never became boyfriends?” Joey asked, running a finger down Kevin’s spine, causing the younger man to shiver. “He’s a great guy and everything, but he’s just…I don’t know…too intense. And of course he isn’t the type of dominant guy which I’m attracted to.” “But you liking blokes like that, it’s not, well, you ended up with a real bastard.” Kevin sighed. “I made some pretty stupid choices. I should have listened to Peter. He never liked Cal.” “That’s something we agree on, then.” “Yeah.” “Pup, I’m glad you said you don’t like humiliation, because although I’ve kind of played those sorts of games with a few blokes, I never really got into it. It seemed so false, it’s just not me.” Although Kevin knew Joey would never abuse him, he was relieved to know his lover wouldn’t want to be like that with him. Kevin had always been curious, and maybe a little disturbed by Joey’s sexual past. He wondered if he dare pursue the subject. Because he felt safe being held in Joey’s arms, he got up enough courage to ask. “Um, you had, um, well…” Kevin ground to a halt. “What?” “Nothing, it’s none of my business.” Kevin’s tiny bit of courage had deserted him. He wished now he’d not brought it up. His sir’s past was his own affair, and maybe Kevin was better off not knowing. “Do you want to know about my past? I suppose it’s a fair

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enough thing to ask.” “Um, well, it’s not really any of my business.” Joey gave Kevin another squeeze. “Of course it’s your business. I don’t want to have any secrets from the man I love.” Kevin couldn’t help but feel all warm and tingly inside at Joey’s words. “It’s true I’ve slept with a lot of men, a few women too.” “Really?” Kevin wasn’t expecting to hear that. He raised himself up and looked into Joey’s eyes. Joey moved his hands up Kevin’s spine and rested them on the back of his head. Exerting slight pressure, Joey guided Kevin’s lips to his own. After they disengaged, Joey smiled at Kevin’s expression of total contentment. “Fucking a bird never did anything for me. But when I started messing about with other boys, I knew I’d found what I liked. But I suppose even then there was something missing, but until I met and fell in love with you, I didn’t know what that missing piece was.” Kevin was in danger of bursting into tears. “Yes, I’ve had a lot of men in my bed. I see now that I used them just to get off. But until you fell at my feet.” Joey grinned. “I thought that was how it was meant to be. I didn’t feel anything for any of them. They were just a tight hole to shove my dick into. And,” Joey squeezed Kevin again, “I’m ashamed to say I didn’t much care if they got any pleasure from the experience. I suppose some must have, ’cause they wanted to give me their phone number and stuff, but I was never interested. Once I’d had them I didn’t want a return match. God, that makes me sound like a right bastard.” “No, Sir.” “Sorry, Pup, but I was. There’s no getting away from it, I was a slut.” Kevin felt Joey shiver. It couldn’t have been easy for this big macho man to admit such a painful thing. Kevin decided he’d show his sir he’d made the right choice to concentrate on loving just one man. “Please, Sir. I want you to just lie here and let me worship

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you. When we’ve made love in the past, it’s always been you doing all the giving, and trust me,” Kevin stared deeply into his lover’s eyes, “that means the whole world to me. But I need to show you, Sir, how much I need to love you back.” “You saying you wanna be on top?” Kevin flushed. “Oh, no, Sir! Sorry, I didn’t mean that, not at all.” “Why not?” “Huh? It wouldn’t be, well, um, proper.” Kevin just couldn’t imagine the idea. It was just…wrong. Joey opened his mouth a couple of times, but nothing came out. Then eventually he said, “Pup, I want you to take my cherry.” Kevin gasped. “But, Sir, it isn’t, well, it isn’t right.” “Kevin, look at me.” Kevin was surprised Joey had addressed him by his proper name, he rarely did so. “Do you love me?” “Sir, I love you with my whole heart.” Joey nodded. “And I love you just as much. So why shouldn’t you show me by fucking me?” Kevin didn’t answer. He couldn’t. “Pup?” “I, well I don’t think I’m ready yet, Sir. I’ve never topped, and I’m scared that I’d disappoint you.” Joey pressed Kevin to his chest. “You sweet, wonderful, beautiful man! You could never disappoint me. Everything you’ve ever done for me you’ve always put me first and yourself second, haven’t you?” “That’s how it should be. You’re superior, I have to serve you.” Joey sighed. “I don’t get all this dominant submissive shit. It’s true I’ve got a forceful personality, but I just couldn’t do the sorts of things you like doing.” “I wouldn’t want you to, Sir, I’d be too uncomfortable.” “Yeah, well. I’ve learned, thanks to you, that if I concentrate on giving you pleasure when we make love, I get a

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shit load more pleasure back. As I said, before I met you, I’d just concentrate on getting my rocks off, I wasn’t bothered if the other guy came.” “Sir, I hear what you say, but I…well…I dunno if I could be on top with you, you’re so…so powerful, big, strong.” Kevin found he couldn’t fully identify why the idea didn’t appeal to him. Maybe he was a natural bottom. Joey sighed. “Okay, I can see that we’ll have to work on this some more. I could order you to fuck me, but I know that’d not work.” Kevin was relieved. Shifting a little, Joey said, “If I’m honest, I don’t think I’m ready to let you top me quite yet.” Turning Kevin’s chin so they were eye to eye, Joey continued, “But there’ll be a time when I’ll need you to do it, and because you love me, you’ll do it.” Sliding Kevin up his body, Joey brought their faces level. Kevin gratefully surrendered to Joey’s oral dominance, willingly opening his mouth and letting Joey inside of him, so he could claim what was rightfully his. “God, you make me so fucking hot.” “I can feel it,” Kevin said, rubbing Joey’s erection with his leg. “Didn’t you say you were gonna let me lie here while you took care of me?” With all the talk of topping, Kevin had forgotten about that. “Yes, Sir.” Kevin sprang up and went in search of the massage oil. The thought of being able to have an unimpeded touch tour of his lover’s beautifully muscled frame caused Kevin to bone up. “Best use a towel I suppose,” Joey said, getting up to find one. Turning on the hot tap, Kevin warmed the oil before carrying it over to the prone figure of his sir. With hands shaking slightly from the amazing privilege of being allowed to touch the naked flesh of his protector, Kevin began. He marvelled at the broadness of Joey’s shoulders. Kevin’s hands glided down Joey’s back, tracing the lines of striated muscle as they narrowed towards Joey’s trim waist. He had to use plenty of oil because Joey’s ample pelt seemed to

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soak it up. Previously Kevin had thought a hairy back would be a turn off, but on his studly sir, it was wonderful. Knowing Joey had enjoyed it the last time he had his arse played with, Kevin decided to pay special attention to that area. Like the rest of his body, Joey’s glutes were full and firm. He didn’t have a bubble butt; however, Kevin decided, that wouldn’t look right on such a manly frame. Parting the firm mounds, Kevin began to run his oily fingers along Joey’s crack, causing the bigger man to moan. Taking Joey’s groans for approval, Kevin centred his massage on the virgin hole. He still couldn’t face the idea of penetrating that ring with his average sized penis That would be…The only word Kevin could come up with was sacrilegious. Joey was a top, and an accomplished one at that. When he made love to Kevin, the younger man knew it was love and not sex. Joey had staying power, he had strength which Kevin knew he’d only felt the tip of. Joey had the power to pound him into the ground if he so wished. But the fact that he’d always held back proved to Kevin that Joey was putting his partner’s needs before his own. Kevin had just reached Joey’s tree-trunk thighs, and was adding yet more oil to reduce the friction, when Joey’s mobile phone began to ring, causing Joey to swear under his breath. “Sir?” Kevin paused his massage. “It better be bloody important,” Joey said, lifting himself up and reaching for his jacket. “Jerry, what the fuck you want? I’m not due in for another couple of hours.” Kevin winced, there was no way he could address Mr Parker like that. “What?” There was silence as Joey listened to whatever Mr Parker was saying. “Fuck! Isn’t there anyone else?” Joey’s right hand, the one not holding the phone, gripped the sheets, his annoyance clearly showing on his face. “You were always too tight-fisted to insure us all.” After pulling a few more unpleasant faces, Joey said, “Yeah, yeah.” Joey then shook his head, “This is bloody short notice.”

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Kevin hoped Joey wouldn’t have to leave straight away; the two of them had been together for less than an hour. “But I’ve got plans over the next couple of days.” Kevin started in alarm. Next couple of days? Surely Joey wouldn’t be gone for an extended period. His distress must have shown on his face, because Joey wrapped a comforting arm around him and gave him a sideways hug. “Okay, I’ll do the run on one condition.” As Joey listened, his eyes began to grow steely. Kevin knew this spelled trouble. “Kevin goes with me. He’s on sick, so it’s not as if he’ll be missing work.” The voice at the other end grew louder, but Kevin was still unable to make out what Mr Parker was saying. “Take it or leave it. Those are my terms.” As the phone conversation progressed, a smile steadily began to creep across Joey’s face. Eventually Joey said, “Okay, Jerry, we’ll be there in an hour.” Joey broke the connection and turned to Kevin, pulling him onto his lap. “You got a passport, Pup?” “Uh?” “Seems Tyler’s let a customer down at the last minute, and they got on to Jerry asking if we could take a consignment of tinned food over to Holland. As Parker is too tight-fisted to insure us all for driving in Europe, I’m the only one who can take the load, so I told him I’d only go if you could go with me. He didn’t like having to cough up for a second berth on the ferry, but I knew, and he knew I knew, that I had him by the bollocks.” Joey rubbed his hands. Kevin’s mind tried to process all the new information it had been given. “So?” “Huh?” Kevin looked up at Joey’s expression as it quickly changed from happy to frustrated. “Do you have a passport?” “Oh, uh, yeah, sorry.” “Good, that’s settled then. Pack a bag for two nights.”

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Joey moved Kevin from his lap, stood up, grabbed a towel as well as a bar of soap, and made for the door. “But, I…” Joey spun round, his hand on the lock. “There’s no fucking way I’m going to be without you for the next two nights. So come on, get moving. I need to take a quick shower before we go. If we’re gonna make the ferry, we’ve got to be on the road in less than an hour.” “I don’t know if…” Kevin reached up to touch his face. Joey shook his head. “You were okay at the fireworks last night, and every day it looks better. No one will say anything, I won’t let them.” Joey pumped his biceps. “And besides, I wanna get you used to going out in public, because,” Joey lifted Kevin’s chin so they were eye-to-eye, “this Friday I’m taking you on a proper date. We’re going to The Black Bear.” “Sir, I don’t know.” Kevin had been there with Cal. The place didn’t hold particularly good memories. Joey shook his head and in a much softer voice, one which Kevin could never resist, said, “You’re mine now, remember? And I promise you’ll be safe.” Kevin let go the breath he’d been holding. The thought of going out on a real date with his sir began to seep into his mind. He found he rather liked the idea. “’Cause all the bottoms, and some of the wannabe tops will hate your guts, ’cause you’ll be with the best guy there.” Joey smirked. Kevin walked into Joey’s open arms. “You’re the best guy anywhere.” “Now come on, we better get a move on.” Joey turned the lock, Kevin realising they were both still naked. All the other times they’d walked across the hallway without clothes, it had been in the late evening, but there was bound to be quite a few people knocking around at that time of day. “Please, Sir. Please.” Kevin employed his best puppy dog expression. To his relief, Joey consented to allow them both to wrap towels around themselves before heading out.

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**** The view from the passenger seat of Joey’s cab was great. And not just the exterior scenery, either, Kevin smiled to himself. Joey looked so right sitting there in the driver’s seat, his leather jacket over the back of his chair, the sleeves of his checked cotton shirt rolled up to the elbows. Kevin watched the sinews in Joey’s forearm flex whenever he had to shift gears. “What?” Joey asked when they’d got underway; obviously he’d felt Kevin’s eyes on him. “Nothing, Sir.” “Don’t ‘nothing, Sir’ me,” Joey said, a note of annoyance in his voice. At first Kevin recoiled, but then remembered he could always be honest with his sir, and didn’t have to fear the consequences. “It’s silly.” Going on quickly, so as not to piss Joey off, Kevin said, “Well, Sir, you sitting there, it’s like you’re on your throne or something.” Kevin felt his cheeks beginning to redden. Joey took his eyes off the road for a second and gave Kevin a You flipped your lid? look. “I mean, you sit there controlling a huge lorry, it just looks right.” Kevin closed his mouth and looked away, knowing he’d made a total prat of himself. Feeling Joey squeezing his knee, Kevin looked up to see a broad smile on his lover’s face. “You’re right, Pup. Ever since I was a nipper I wanted to drive a lorry. Used to wind up mum, still does,” he chuckled. “Something about being out on the open road, the freedom, and like you said, the power. Though I’ve never thought of this,” he pointed to his seat, “as my throne.” “Uh, yeah, sorry.” “S'okay, Pup. I kinda like the idea.” The two kept up a steady dialogue until Joey pulled into the loading bay of a tinned goods warehouse. He had to reverse the lorry round a corner. Kevin stayed quiet as he watched his awesome lover deftly manoeuvre his huge vehicle. Once the air brakes stopped hissing, Joey sat back in his

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seat for a second with his eyes closed. Kevin didn’t move a muscle. Then without warning Joey snapped his eyes open, undid his seatbelt, unlocked his door and jumped out of the cab. Before Kevin could undo his own seatbelt, Joey had walked round the cab, and had opened the door at Kevin’s side. Joey insisted on helping Kevin down. Kevin put up a token protest, he could manage. A stern look from Joey soon ended the discussion, however. When they walked into the warehouse, Joey turned to Kevin and said, “You stay there, and don’t move.” He pointed to a spot just inside the large double doors. “These guys will start coming out of here like bats out of hell in a minute, and they might not see you.” Joey walked off, leaving Kevin bristling at being treated like a little kid. He could remember his dad telling him things like that when he was eight years old. Kevin had half a mind to go exploring, just to prove he could get about without Joey holding his hand. Kevin soon grew bored. It seemed to take forever for the men to load the lorry. They hadn’t been ready for them, a fact which pissed Joey off. As time passed, Joey looked at his watch more frequently, becoming increasingly agitated, which eventually turned to anger. Kevin didn’t like to see his sir like this. It was all too reminiscent of Cal. When Joey decided to pitch in and help load, Kevin moved from his spot and offered to help as well. “No, you’d just get in the way,” Joey said, turning away and dismissing him. Kevin slunk round to the front of the lorry and climbed into the passenger’s seat. He wished he’d not come now. What had been a great ride as far as the warehouse had turned sour. Kevin tried to rationalise that Joey was stressed, that was why he’d snapped at him, but however he looked at it, he kept thinking some of it must be his fault. Maybe if he apologised to Joey when they set off, things could get back to how they’d been. After the lorry had been loaded and all the required papers signed, Joey swung himself into the cab, a thunderous look on

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his face. Kevin chickened out and remained silent. He jumped when Joey brought his fist down on the steering wheel and began swearing. Kevin was reminded of Cal once again. Whenever anything didn’t go his way, Cal would start hitting things, including Kevin. Joey fired up the engine and pulled away from the factory. Kevin could tell from the way Joey was holding his body and grinding his teeth, he was still angry. Mercifully he didn’t start swearing again. Kevin looked over at the speed gauge. Joey was driving at just over the legal limit, which added to Kevin’s unease. This was another thing that Cal used to do. Closing his eyes, Kevin willed the journey to be over. For the first time since they’d met, Kevin wasn’t sure about Joey. He replayed in his head all the times his sir had told him that he loved him, how he’d never hurt him. That helped, but…Kevin had spent too many years treading on egg-shells around a man who could explode with anger with little or no provocation. Remembering the deep breathing exercises his psychiatrist had taught him, Kevin willed himself to relax. The drone and vibration of the lorry’s engine—combined with the fact he hadn’t slept well the previous night—lulled Kevin into an uneasy sleep. The hiss of the air brakes roused Kevin from his doze. He kept his eyes closed, thinking it safer to pretend to be asleep just in case Joey was still in a bad mood. He knew that would depend on whether they’d reached the port on time. Hearing Joey getting out of his side of the cab, Kevin cracked his eyes open and watched his sir’s arse as it disappeared below the level of his view. Kevin prayed Joey would come to his side of the cab and help him down. He realised the irony of his thoughts, he’d grumbled at Joey for offering him assistance when they’d arrived at the warehouse. But now, if Joey would only come round, it would show Kevin that he loved him, was sorry for how he’d behaved, and… Kevin lay curled up on the seat and waited. All he could hear was the odd diesel engine go by, the cry of a seagull, or the occasional shout from a dockworker. But of Joey, there was no sign.

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Kevin couldn’t help the sob which escaped his throat. He tried to rationalise, maybe he’d gone to register their load, book in, or whatever, but why didn’t he take his man with him? Why did he tell Kevin to stay out of the way at the loading dock? And why did he so gruffly turn down the offer of help when they needed to get loaded up? Kevin just didn’t know. The click of the door catch at his side made Kevin jump, but he still thought it wise to pretend to be sleeping. The door opened wider, Kevin could smell the salt-laden breeze as it blew across his face. “Pup?” Joey softly asked. Kevin didn’t move. He felt the heat of Joey’s body as he leaned over him. Next Kevin felt Joey smoothing back his fringe before he detected Joey’s lips as he laid the most tender of kisses on his forehead. “I’m sorry.” Joey whispered. Kevin cracked his eyes open and looked up at the concerned expression on his lover’s face. “Please, Sir, I don’t know…” he swallowed, “I don’t know what I did wrong.” “Pup.” Joey unhooked Kevin’s seatbelt and lifted him so he was sitting on the edge of the seat, his legs dangling over the side. Moving in, Joey kissed Kevin softly on the lips. “You did absolutely nothing wrong.” Joey stroked Kevin’s cheeks. “It was all my fault. I got so wound up over this last minute job, I forgot what was really important.” From his elevated position, Kevin was able to look down at Joey, who stood on the tarmac, wringing his hands. “And you are the most important.” “I didn’t understand why you made me stand aside back at the warehouse, and why, you…” Kevin’s emotions were starting to overwhelm him. “The floor in that place wasn’t even, and I could just see a racing fork-lift truck losing its load and falling on you.” Joey grasped Kevin’s hands in his own much larger ones. “That was the reason for that, but I should have explained. As for my later behaviour, the only explanation I can give is that I was stressed. Which wasn’t helped by those dozy buggers pratting about and

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not being ready for us. If we make this delivery on time, there’s a good chance we might get the regular contract.” Kevin felt much better. He was beginning to think he’d over-reacted and behaved like a little kid who’d sulked because he hadn’t received the attention he thought was due to him. “Well, if it isn’t young Joseph running late again,” a man called out as he approached the cab. Kevin watched the bearded middle-aged man as he took hold of Joey’s upper arm and gave it a squeeze. “And may I say you look fucking hunky in that shirt.” Kevin felt his eyebrows rising. “Does it mean you’re back in circulation? I never thought you could be monogamous for long with your—” “Ted!” Joey cut in. “This is Kevin, he’s come on the run with me today, and no, I’m not back in circulation.” Stepping up into the cab, Joey picked Kevin up and gently lifted him out. He didn’t release Kevin when he reached the ground. “Not when I’ve got the most precious man in my life.” Joey kissed Kevin on the lips. Kevin thought he was going to burst into tears. Though Joey had often declared his love for him, he’d never done so in front of anyone else. Nor had he kissed Kevin in front of anyone else. Why had he doubted his sir, how could he have doubted his sir? Kevin began to feel unworthy. Almost instinctively Joey seemed to know what Kevin was thinking. “Don’t go there, Pup. You’re mine, I’m yours, full stop,” he said, gazing lovingly into his eyes. Kevin opened his mouth, but couldn’t find anything to say, so closed it again. “You must be the famous Kevin,” Ted said, breaking their private moment. “Jesus knows how you managed to tame this one. He’s had, um, well…” Ted cleared his throat. “It’s okay, Kevin knows what sort of a past I’ve had, don’t you, Pup?” Joey said, setting Kevin on the ground, never breaking eye contact with him. “Yes, Sir.” Kevin’s cup of joy was in serious danger of overflowing. Ted cleared his throat again, “I suppose we best get you loaded up.” He shifted his feet uncomfortably.

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Kevin tried to stifle a giggle. Joey and Ted had probably played around with one another, and if Kevin wasn’t very much mistaken, Ted still carried a torch for his sir. A surge of pride and even smugness began to flow through Kevin. He could feel his chest puffing out. Joey was his, and he’d just reiterated the fact, too. **** After walking up several flights of stairs and along a bewildering maze of narrow corridors, they finally reached their cabin. Joey inserted the key and pushed open the door, but before Kevin could step inside, Joey picked his man up and romantically carried him over the threshold. “Like it?” Joey asked, setting Kevin down in the middle of the room. “This is what they call a special cabin. Basically that means we don’t have to share a pisser with the other passengers.” Inwardly Kevin winced. Joey was a complex mixture of romance and down to earth crudeness, but he knew he wouldn’t have his sir any other way. He also suspected old Parker wouldn’t have shelled out for anything other than a basic cabin, so the extra must have come out of Joey’s own pocket. After scanning the small, narrow and rather Spartan room, Kevin turned to Joey. “It’s great, Sir, thank you.” “Our own little love nest, aye?” That old familiar glint was back in Joey’s eyes. Kevin looked up and smiled. He was grateful to have his loving and slightly playful sir back. “We’ve just got time to clean up and get changed before dinner,” Joey said, reaching for the zipper on Kevin’s leather jacket. Obviously Joey was going to undress him, and if Kevin was any judge, they’d get a little loving, in too. Kevin’s smile widened.

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Chapter 12 Joey had been eagerly anticipating the call for dinner. From previous trips across the North Sea, he knew the ferries provided one hell of a good feed. Throughout the meal, he could tell Kevin was happy, if a little subdued. He guessed the man sat opposite him—stealing loving glances whenever he thought Joey wasn’t looking—hadn’t had that many happy times. As he returned the smiles, Joey recalled some of the things Kevin had told him as the pair had lain in bed that morning. The man had quaked with fear that he was going to be rejected. It had caused something deep inside Joey to hurt at seeing his pup so torn up. If only he could understand what a terrific bloke he really is, Joey mused as he laid down his knife and fork, his appetite now somewhat blunted. Joey’s heart ached at how off-hand and cold he’d been when the lorry was being loaded. A part of him rebelled at Kevin for being so high maintenance. Where had he heard that phrase before? Then he remembered, Kevin had used it about himself. Joey squelched his inner voice. That was the old him talking. The new caring Joey rallied. It was hardly surprising Kevin was so needful given what he’d gone through. Hell, Joey thought, I don’t know how he’s managed to survive all the hatred, abuse and mental torture that he’s faced. Reaching under the table, Joey grasped Kevin’s hand and gave it a light squeeze. Once they’d locked eyes, Joey projected all the love and affection he could. He wouldn’t have cared if they’d held hands in plain sight, but he knew such a display would have freaked Kevin, and Joey wanted this trip to be as good for his pup as he could make it. Kevin treated Joey to a shy, but nonetheless grateful smile. “Do you want a pudding?” Joey asked, still staring deep into those brown pools of life. “Um, I don’t know. I’m a bit full.” “You’ve hardly eaten anything.” Kevin dipped his head and murmured, “I wasn’t that hungry.”

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Joey was going to insist Kevin go up and choose a sweet from the large number on offer, he’d had his eye on a particularly nice looking strawberry layer cake, but he remembered this was to be Kevin’s special time. “Okay, we’ll just have to have something in our room later,” Joey said, winking at Kevin, who promptly blushed. It’s just too easy to embarrass him, Joey thought, getting to his feet, Kevin immediately doing the same. Joey decided they’d have a drink in the bar, hoping alcohol would loosen Kevin up a little. However, when he was asked what he wanted, Kevin said he’d just have a glass of Coke. Walking back from the bar, Joey set their drinks on the table. Bringing his seat closer to Kevin’s, he thought it wise to warn his lover that he’d asked the barmaid to put a rum in the Coke. Kevin looked as though he was going to protest, but this soon changed to acceptance when Joey stared at him. After Kevin took a tentative sip, Joey asked, “Is it okay? I’ll go and get you a Coke on its own if you’d rather.” Kevin smiled. “It’s actually quite nice, thank you, Sir.” As the evening progressed, Joey began to fidget. He had an unbearable urge to put his arm around Kevin’s waist and give him a hug. Instead he contented himself by treating Kevin to a series of loving glances, combined with the occasional squeeze of his leg under the table. Kevin basked in the attention paid to him. Joey couldn’t wait until Friday, when he would take his man to the gay pub in town where they could be openly affectionate with one another. The management of The Black Bear was pretty liberal where public displays of affection were concerned, only drawing the line at outright sex. Joey grinned, thinking how hot it would be if he and Kevin could get it on in one of the booths. However, the resultant stiffening in his jeans served only to increase his discomfort. A pianist began to play soft jazz in the background. It was a bit chintzy for Joey’s taste, but Kevin seemed to enjoy it, so Joey settled back and tried to take pleasure in it as well. The two spoke occasionally, but neither man felt the need to fill the silences. The alcohol had its intended effect on Kevin,

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who became less reserved. However, he grew increasingly uncomfortable when a group of men in their mid-thirties started to raise their voices and generally make nuisances of themselves. Remembering all this was for Kevin’s benefit, Joey asked if his lover wanted to go back to their cabin, reminding him that they had an early start the next morning. Kevin eagerly agreed. As there were few people in the passageways, Joey casually slung his arm over Kevin’s shoulder, the younger man initially tensed, but soon relaxed and leaned into the embrace. “Look, lads, we’ve got a couple of fucking fairies on this ferry.” Joey spun round to see a group of three youths in their early twenties laughing at the joke. He was all set to make something of it, they didn’t look as though they would be much of a match for him, but before he could make a move, he looked down at Kevin’s horror filled expression, and knew what he had to do. Cupping Kevin’s face in his hands, Joey bent down and delivered a passionate kiss to Kevin’s lips. He then glanced up to see the stunned expressions on the faces of the threesome and said, “Damn right I’m a fucking fairy, and I’m fucking proud of it.” Joey took hold of Kevin’s hand and quickly led him away. However, he realised he was squeezing Kevin’s hand tightly, and no doubt painfully. He made a conscious effort to relax and slow his steps. Once they reached their cabin, Joey made sure the door was locked before wrapping Kevin up in his arms. “I’m sorry, Pup. It was my fault, if I hadn’t had my arm round you, they wouldn’t have said what they did.” “I…” Kevin closed his mouth, then tried again, “I thought you were going to hit them or something.” “Yeah,” Joey sighed, “I did, too. But then I realised what was important.” Nodding at Kevin, he said, “I know you hate violence, so I came good on my promise to always love and protect you. I put that before my need to want to pound those pillocks’ heads in. But,” Joey knew his eyes had grown steely, “if they’d have laid so much as a finger on you, I’d have fucking

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decked the lot of ’em.” Kevin shivered. “But there was three of them, Sir.” “Don’t care.” Knowing he needed to relax Kevin and get him thinking happy thoughts, Joey guided his lover towards the beds. He lifted him up and sat him on the top bunk, leaving his legs dangling over the side. Joey then began to unlace Kevin’s shoes. “Sir?” “Yeah?” Joey looked up from his task to see a troubled expression on Kevin’s face. “I don’t think this is, um, well, it’s not proper.” Joey was momentarily puzzled. Then the penny dropped. “I’m the one in charge, right?” Kevin nodded. “So what I say, goes. And I wanna make you feel good, make you feel special.” Pulling Kevin’s left trainer off, he continued, “And, to me you’re special. So I’m going to do this, okay?” Joey then set to removing Kevin’s socks, before reaching up to unbutton the waistband of his jeans. Kevin had to lift his bottom to allow Joey to pull down both his jeans and underwear. Raising his arms higher, Joey made quick work of divesting Kevin of his jumper and T-Shirt. Stepping back, Joey stared at the naked man in front of him. Shaking his head, he whispered, “Fucking perfect.” Kevin opened his mouth to contradict, but Joey stopped him by putting a finger to his own lips. “Pup,” Joey said, rubbing Kevin’s legs, “I know you don’t think much of yourself, but,” staring up into Kevin’s eyes, “I wish you could see what I’m seeing.” Kevin sniffed and began to blink rapidly. In a husky voice, heavy with desire, Joey growled, “Lie back, Pup.” Lifting Kevin’s right foot to his lips, Joey started kissing the sole. Kevin let out a soft moan. Sticking out his tongue, Joey began to run it up the inside of Kevin’s shin, stopping frequently to kiss, suck and graze his teeth along Kevin’s milky white skin. Once Joey had licked out the hollow behind Kevin’s knee, he let go of the leg

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and began to worship the other one. Joey was painfully hard inside his jeans: even though he wasn’t the one being satisfied sexually, he had never been so turned on in his life. Giving, rather than receiving pleasure was such a huge turn on. When Joey finished laving the crease behind Kevin’s left knee, he spied Kevin’s arse cheeks rubbing together as the man squirmed on the bed. He knew he had to dive between those mounds and seek out Kevin’s pucker. However, not wanting to jump too quickly towards his goal, Joey steadily licked and sucked his way up Kevin’s thigh, fully aware this was a particularly powerful erogenous zone for his pup. In the short time he’d known Kevin, Joey had explored every square inch of his lover’s skin, and had found out which areas were the most sensitive. Kevin’s perineum was redolent with musk. Joey had never considered himself to be a scent oriented person, but Kevin’s inviting, clean and pure odour had him in serious lust. Maintaining maximum contact, Joey moved the broad face of his tongue over the area and tasted the flavoursome sweat that had built up between Kevin’s legs. Joey continued to sniff and suck until Kevin was clean. Moving higher, Joey took in several deep lungfuls of the odour which coated Kevin’s almost hairless nut sack, swooning at its heady aroma. The precious orbs were like the rest of Kevin—small but perfectly formed. Realising his hands weren’t doing anything useful, Joey brought them to Kevin’s chest, which was coated in a light sheen of sweat. Using just the tips of his fingers, he could detect his man was beginning to put a little meat on his ribs, but in his opinion he was still too thin. As his fingers glided their way upwards, Joey marvelled at the satiny smoothness of his pup’s torso. Unable to wait any longer, Joey gave in to his urges and went down on the slightly muscular but still very pliable mounds of Kevin’s bum. To aid his lingual explorations, Joey pulled his lover forward until his bottom hung over the edge of the bunk. Using his thumbs to pry apart the mounds of yielding flesh, Joey dove in for the main prize. He knew his man was now in something of a quandary. Kevin’s baser instincts were telling him

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to moan and cry out in pleasure, but Joey could tell Kevin was trying to quash them on the grounds of propriety. The cabin walls were very thin and sound easily travelled. However, when he looked up briefly after feeling Kevin move, he saw his ever resourceful pup had reached for his pillow and was pressing it to his face. Believing he now had free reign, Joey took off the brakes completely, and did everything he could think of to send his lover into orbit. He alternated between sucking, licking, and salivating in Kevin’s anal crease. Eventually Kevin’s ring gave up the unequal struggle, granting him entry. If Joey’s cock got any harder, he knew it would punch a hole in his jeans. He was willing to bet there was already an enormous wet spot in the crotch. When his tongue began to tire, Joey pulled back, licked his middle finger and inserted it up the already well loosened hole. Finding his lover’s hard joy button, Joey began to rub it. He watched as the partially sheathed head of Kevin’s penis dribbled out a few drops of pre-seminal fluid. Knowing the area just under the ball sack was one of Kevin’s most erogenous zones, Joey lifted up his lover’s testicles, and started to kiss at the exposed skin. Kissing his way upwards, Joey engulfed Kevin’s scrotum, finding himself able to accommodate both testicles in his mouth at the same time. Remembering what Kevin had done the last time their positions had been reversed, Joey began to hum. Kevin’s head shot up, dislodging the pillow, his mouth forming a perfect ‘O’, but no sound escaped from his throat. With the flat of his free hand, Joey pressed Kevin’s penis against his belly and set up a circular rubbing motion. The results were spectacular. Joey first felt Kevin’s dick grow even harder as it expanded under his hand, then it began to pulse, firing several ropes of pearly white semen over Kevin’s stomach and chest, the first volley going as far as the chin. Joey watched in quiet satisfaction as Kevin sank back to the mattress, his body twitching occasionally as he experienced several post-orgasmic aftershocks. After Joey had lifted Kevin’s legs from his shoulders, he had to catch his lover’s limp body

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before it slid to the floor. Pressing his face to Kevin’s belly, Joey began to lick his pup’s spent seed. When the last traces had been removed, Joey pressed his lips against his lover’s own slack ones. The contact seemed to rouse Kevin from his torpor, because he began to suck at Joey’s semen-coated tongue. “Oh, Sir,” Kevin said when the two had separated. “That was…just awesome. I, well, it was, well, um, awesome.” Joey smiled, taking his pup’s incoherence as evidence that he’d done a good job. However, he had to let go of Kevin in order to adjust the steely hard object in his jeans. “sSr, you haven’t come,” Kevin said. “Sor-right, Pup, all that was for you. Though I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t got a shit load of pleasure out of doing it.” Kevin kissed Joey on the lips before sinking to his knees and unzipping Joey’s jeans. The relief of having his erection freed at last was wonderful. Joey knew in his current state he wouldn’t last long, and he would rather prolong the pleasure, so with the greatest reluctance, he gently pushed Kevin’s face from his crotch. “Uh, I’m too close, Pup. Let me get undressed and we can see to business in the shower.” **** Kevin soon realised trying to perform a blow job in the cramped confines of the shower cubicle wasn’t going to be easy. However, his sir had given him one of the best orgasms of his life, so he was more than willing to put up with a little discomfort. Once Joey had got the water temperature right, he beckoned to Kevin, who immediately dropped to his knees and crawled towards Joey, who momentarily looked shocked. Recovering quickly, Joey pressed himself against the side of the cubicle and directed Kevin’s head until it was under the stream of water. Kevin tried to reach for Joey’s hard prong, but Joey fended him away. Looking up in puzzlement, Kevin was told to wait. After running his hands through Kevin’s now wet hair,

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Joey gently pushed Kevin back out into the toilet part of the tiny bathroom. Tearing open a complimentary sachet of shampoo, Joey began to lather up Kevin’s hair. “Okay, Pup, you can start sucking.” Kevin had never given a blowjob to someone as they washed his hair, but he guessed there was a first time for everything. Once Joey judged Kevin’s scalp had been massaged sufficiently, he said, “Close your eyes, and keep your mouth still. I don’t suppose the shampoo will taste all that nice.” Kevin felt himself guided back under the water, where Joey rinsed him off. “Okay, that’s all the soap gone.” Joey manoeuvred him out of the spray again. Kevin’s knees were beginning to ache, but he’d sooner die than complain. As Kevin resumed his up and down motions, he saw Joey open another packet and rub the contents over his wide chest. Kevin so wanted to wash his sir, but knew he was doing an important job where he was. He contented himself by massaging his lover’s tree-trunk thighs. Joey moaned in pleasure when Kevin’s fingers strayed between his legs, so Kevin concentrated his attention on that area. Kevin knew his lover was close because Joey reached down and gripped his wet head, stopping him from withdrawing. Not that Kevin had any intention of moving off. The throbbing phallus was pushed to its base into Kevin’s mouth and throat. The position wasn’t exactly comfortable for Kevin, but Joey being the considerate lover that he was, didn’t hold the position for long, soon withdrawing so only his spurting cock head remained in Kevin’s mouth, allowing Kevin to appreciate the remainder of his sir’s precious ejaculate. After swiping his tongue over the glans, Kevin withdrew. He knew Joey’s cock always became ultra sensitive post-orgasm. “Fuck!” Joey said softly as he bent down to lift Kevin to his feet. Their lips met in a soulful kiss. “I needed that.” Kevin grinned, happy to have brought pleasure to his man. “Now, let’s get the rest of you washed,” Joey said,

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opening up another packet of shower gel. Kevin stood there while Joey ran his soapy hands all over his body. “We can take as long as we want, they’re not likely to run out of hot water.” Kevin closed his eyes, letting Joey’s strong fingers caress him. “Okay, you’re done,” Joey eventually said, spinning them round. Taking hold of Kevin’s shoulders he guided him to the toilet. After wrapping a towel around him, Joey told Kevin to “Sit and stay.” Kevin was dismayed he wasn’t given the opportunity to wash his lover. But as ever Joey was able to pick up on his pup’s mood. “We’ve been in here for fifteen minutes as it is, and it’ll be quicker if I finish off myself.” Kevin wasn’t mollified, but didn’t allow it to bother him. When Joey shut off the water, Kevin reached for the other towel and held it open. Treating Joey to one of his most imploring looks, Kevin silently asked for permission to be allowed to dry his sir. Smiling, Joey said, “I wanted this trip to just be for you.” “But, Sir, I want to.” Sighing, Joey pulled Kevin to his feet, and with a broad smile on his face, Kevin took longer than was strictly necessary in patting the muscled frame of his beloved protector dry. “Fancy an early night?” Joey asked. In truth Kevin was tired, despite having had a short sleep on the journey to Hull. He was still playing catch-up. “Yes, Sir.” Spying the narrow bunk beds, Kevin realised he wouldn’t be able to sleep with Joey. But at least his lover would still be close by. He began to climb the ladder to the top bunk. “Oi! Where d’you think you’re going?” Kevin looked down at Joey’s confused expression. “But, well, I didn’t think there’d be room for us to sleep together.” “It’ll be a tight fit, but I ain’t gonna spend the night alone. Not when I don’t have to anyway.” A much happier Kevin descended the ladder and climbed into bed with Joey. It certainly was a tight squeeze, Kevin had to almost lie on top of Joey, not that his sir seemed to mind. After

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they’d talked for a few minutes, Joey kissed Kevin’s forehead, relaxed his hold around him and drifted off to sleep. The comforting warmth of his protector, combined with the gentle rocking of the ferry, soon had Kevin joining his lover in dreamland. **** Kevin tried to stifle a yawn as he stood watching the last of the canned food being carried into the supermarket’s warehouse. It was a cold morning; he could see the breath of the warehousemen condensing as they exhaled. Despite the early hour, Kevin couldn’t help marvel at how smoothly and efficiently the unloading was going. It was a far cry from the loading fiasco of the day before. To his surprise, Lars, the chief warehouseman or whatever his official title was, spoke clear if rather heavily accented English. “Come, let us have coffee. It is my break,” Lars said, gesturing to Kevin and Joey. Not waiting for a reply, the tall, heavily built man turned and made his way inside. Though the blond hunk was obviously well wrapped up against the chill weather, Kevin could see he took care of his body, and what a body, he thought, licking his lips as he watched the firm mounds of arse flesh move away. He was brought out of his reverie by a dig in the ribs, looking up he saw Joey raise a questioning eyebrow. Kevin felt his cheeks beginning to go red. “Sorry, Sir,” he said under his breath. Joey shook his head, but Kevin could see he had a smile on his face. He then patted Kevin on the bottom. This simple action allayed Kevin’s worries; he knew if he’d been with Cal, he’d have hit the roof. Yet again Kevin was reminded Joey wasn’t Cal. With a much lighter step, Kevin picked up his pace and entered the warehouse, hurrying to catch up with the tall Dutchman, who was waiting at the doorway to a glass panelled room. As they sat at a plain pine bench in the break room, Kevin couldn’t stop himself from stealing brief glances at Lars, but for

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the most part he managed to keep his eyes on the table, unable to trust himself not to stare openly at the huge warehouseman sitting opposite him. He didn’t know why the guy captivated him so much. His large frame, the way he seemed to handle things around him with such dexterity, as well as his friendly and gentle manner, despite his imposing size, fascinated Kevin. “You speak English very well,” Joey said, taking a healthy slug of his coffee. Kevin had taken a few sips of the stuff, but it was too strong for him. “I have a pen friend in England, but I first started to learn your language because of all the movies, TV shows and pop songs coming from England and America.” Joey nodded. “So,” Lars said, draining his mug, “will you be staying in Rotterdam for long?” “Nah, we thought we’d take a drive into Amsterdam, do the tourist thing for the rest of the day, then drive back to catch the ferry this evening.” This was news to Kevin. He liked the idea of spending the day being a tourist with his sir. “Yah. There is much to see in Amsterdam. What kinds of things are you interested in?” Joey turned to Kevin, who was surprised to be consulted. “Well, urm, I’d like to see some of the historic buildings, museums and maybe look round the shops. But it all depends on what you want to do, S…” Kevin stopped himself just in time. “Told you before, this is your trip, we’ll do whatever you wanna do,” Joey said, treating Kevin to a broad smile. Lars told them about the various attractions which Amsterdam had to offer. It sounded fascinating, though Kevin didn’t think his sir would find much to interest him. “The Nine Streets area of the city has many museum about books, and, um, face windows,” he mimed putting on a pair of spectacles, “and there’s usually a market, selling food, clothing, antiques. Please wait one moment, I know we have English guide book.” Lars turned to one of his colleagues and

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said something in rapid Dutch, causing the man to get up and leave the room. A few minutes later the guy returned with the promised brochure. Lars started to flip through it as he gave the pair an idea of what was available. When he began to explain the various modes of transport around the city, Kevin started to take more interest. Trams sounded okay, but he was less sure about canal barges. His unease increased when the warehouseman mentioned canal bikes. “They are small boats, which you have to peddle. Though I don’t know how many, how you say, landing stages stay open in the winter.” “Sounds interesting,” Joey said, seeming to consider the possibility of hiring one. Kevin’s heart sank, he wasn’t fond of water travel at the best of times, and these bike things sounded particularly unsafe. “I must return to work,” Lars said, standing up, Kevin having to crane his neck quite a way in order to keep his face within sight. He must be at least six and a half feet, Kevin thought, as a few butterflies started up in his stomach. He didn’t know what was happening to him. “Yeah, and we best get going, too. How much do I owe you for the booklet?” Joey asked also rising from the table. “Nothing,” Lars dismissed. Kevin trailed behind Joey as they walked back to the lorry. Despite Joey’s earlier actions, he was still somewhat fearful of what Joey would say or do at seeing his lover ogling another man. As usual, Joey walked round to the passenger’s side of the cab, unlocked the door and helped Kevin to climb aboard. Kevin could manage well enough, but it was one of the many little things his sir did for him, which he appreciated. The fact Joey was still willing to do it gave Kevin some comfort. As soon as Joey got into the cab at his side, Kevin knew he had to say something. “Sir?” “Yeah?” “About, well, um, about in there. I, well I dunno what came

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over me. Lars was a nice man, big, kind and sort of gentle, but…” In a rush Kevin continued, “but he’s not you, Sir, he could never be as great as you. I love you, Sir, and only you, please I hope you can understand and forgive me.” Joey smiled and put a hand on Kevin’s leg. “It’s okay to look at other men. I’ve still got eyes myself, you know. I’ve seen loads of cute blokes since we’ve got together. And I thought about what it’d be like to shag one or two of ’em.” Kevin stiffened. “But all I had to do was compare them to my little pup.” Leaning over, Joey gave Kevin a kiss on the cheek. “And I knew none of ’em could hold a candle to you.” That now familiar warm tingly sensation of total happiness began to course through Kevin’s body again. A hard edge crept into Joey’s voice. “You can look, Pup, but you better not touch.” “Oh, no, Sir, never. You’re everything to me, no other man has come close to being as great and strong and gentle and loving, and…” Kevin was losing the battle with his emotions, so decided to shut up. Joey unbuckled Kevin’s seatbelt and opened his arms, Kevin flying into them, using Joey’s shoulder to hide his tears of joy and relief. Joey kissed Kevin behind the ear and rubbed his back. “I know. I love you, and you love me, it’s all okay.” With his head still buried in Joey’s chest, Kevin said, “I know, Sir. But I can’t help thinking that all those men you saw, none of them would be a cry-baby like me. I just wish I was stronger and not so emotional. I wish I was a better boyfriend for you, someone you could be proud of.” Joey raised Kevin’s chin. “I’m so fucking proud of you, Pup. Never ever think otherwise. You don’t realise how strong you are. How many people could have coped with what you’ve gone through and still come out sweet and loving?” As usual his sir had said exactly the right thing. Kevin soon began to feel much better. Although he would have liked nothing more than to be able to sit on Joey’s knee all day, Kevin

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knew they had to get moving, so reluctantly climbed back into the passenger seat and buckled himself in. Before firing up the powerful diesel engine, Joey said, “You know, those canal bikes that Lars was on about sounded like they’d be a load of fun. Wada ya say we try one, eh?” Kevin swallowed. “Uh, yeah, okay, Sir.” Joey burst out laughing. “I was just messin’ with ya, Pup.” **** Although the sun shone brightly, there was a definite chill in the air. Joey managed to find a parking space in a car park which also accepted lorries. As they walked out of the car park, Kevin noticed a set of tram lines. “Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever been on a tram.” “Not even in Blackpool?” “Nah, mum and dad thought they were too expensive.” “Okay, I was gonna get a taxi into the city centre, but if you’d rather go by tram—” “Oh, yes, Sir.” “Then tram it is.” As they were conveyed towards the centre of the city, Joey consulted the booklet Lars had given him. “If we get off at the next stop, we’ll be able to get a canal bus.” Looking at Kevin’s worried expression, Joey continued. “They’re perfectly safe.” Kevin wasn’t convinced. “Do you trust me?” Without even thinking about it, Kevin agreed that of course he did. “Well, then,” Joey stood up and made his way to the door, Kevin dutifully following. **** To Kevin’s surprise, the canal ride was fun. There was an audio commentary about the city, which he listened to with interest. It was relaxing watching as all the historic buildings

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slowly floated past, the commentary giving a potted history of many of them. “Okay, stop C, this is us,” Joey announced. “Huh?” “You said you wanted to do some shopping.” The pair got off the barge, Joey helping Kevin disembark. **** Kevin was moved by the many old buildings which lined the narrow streets. Looking up at their impressive facades, he got a real sense of going back in history to a simpler time. The first thing on Kevin’s agenda was to pay a visit to Anne Frank’s house. However, he was dismayed at the long line of people queuing to gain admittance. “I don’t mind waiting,” Joey said. “No, sor-right. It might not be your sort of thing anyway.” Kevin turned to walk down Prinsengracht. He was disappointed; he’d read Anne’s diary as a child and never thought he’d ever get the chance to visit the place where it had all happened. But there was little point in standing out in the cold for an extended period. After a look round a couple of museums—which Kevin found interesting, but knew his sir did not—Joey suggested they go and have a cup of coffee. Kevin’s legs were beginning to ache, and he found he was starting to get hungry, too. As usual, and despite Kevin’s protests, Joey insisted on paying for their meal. Kevin put up a token protest, but when Joey gave him the look, he capitulated. “This is your treat, Pup, so I’m gonna spoil you.” As they sat eating their overpriced sandwiches and drinking their hot beverages—Joey a cappuccino and Kevin a hot chocolate—the latter couldn’t help staring inquisitively at the people who came down the staircase from the upper storey. After a few minutes, Joey said, “We could have taken our food upstairs if you’d have wanted.” “Oh, no, Sir,” Kevin said with conviction.

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Joey raised an eyebrow. Kevin felt compelled to disclose what was on his mind. He strongly suspected the café sold cannabis upstairs, he thought he got a whiff of it every now and again. Joey grinned. “Maybe I ought to go up and get myself a roach, eh?” Kevin paled, causing Joey’s mirthful expression to disappear. Squeezing Kevin’s hand, Joey silently asked what was wrong. “Cal used to, uh…” Joey’s fingers massaged Kevin’s hand, helping him to relax. “I was joking, Pup. I don’t think driving a lorry while high is a good idea. Plus I’d never do anything that would frighten you.” Kevin let out a breath, realising he’d got himself worked up over nothing, again. He smiled up at his loving and gentle sir, silently telling him he was okay, but was very grateful for his reassuring words. “Wanna look round the market a bit?” Joey asked. “Yeah, why not.” Kevin stood. “Says here that The Nine Streets, the area between Raadhuistraat, Leidsestraat, Singel and Prinsengracht is packed with boutiques, cafes and beautiful houses,” Joey said consulting the guide book which Lars had given them. “I’d like to get something for Peter and Terry,” Kevin said, looking round at the plentiful array of shops. “Do you usually do stuff like that?” “Sort of. They’re always bringing me stuff back when they go away. I don’t…Well, I don’t get to go to many places, so…I want to get them something.” “Okay.” Joey gave Kevin’s shoulder a squeeze. After searching for a while, Kevin thought he’d found just the right thing. It was rather kitsch, but he knew Peter would like it. “You sure?” Joey said, looking speculatively at the wooden plate Kevin was holding. It had a windmill attached to the front, with a painted scene behind. When the windmill’s sails were turned it wound up a music box which played ‘Tulips From Amsterdam’.

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“You think he’ll like it?” Joey said, still regarding the object with disdain. “Yeah, he likes music boxes. And this one is a bit different.” “You can say that again.” “I’ve still gotta find something for Terry, though.” “Food,” Joey said simply. Kevin giggled. “That’s not nice.” “I know, I’m sorry. Actually I kind of like Terry, though god alone knows how he puts up with that boyfriend of his.” “Peter’s not too bad, once you get to know him.” The pair walked along the pavement. After a minute or so, Kevin thought he’d found something he could get for Terry. Going into a delicatessen, he emerged a couple of minutes later carrying a wrapped sphere. “What’s that?” Joey asked. “A whole Edam cheese.” “Why? You can get them in the supermarkets at home.” Kevin was despondent at the derision which his sir was showing. Joey seemed to pick up on Kevin’s mood, and gently took the large and heavy cheese from him. “Sorry, Pup. I’m sure he’ll enjoy it. I suppose I ought to get something for Mum and our Simon.” “Oh yeah, I’ll get him something, too.” “You don’t have to, you know.” “I want to. I had a great time the other day at the bonfire with him.” “Yeah, he’s a good kid.” As they walked back down Prinsengracht, Kevin noticed there was no queue outside the old spice warehouse, part of which had formed the hiding place for the Frank family during the last war. “Come on, we might as well go in now while it’s not too busy,” Joey said, steering Kevin through the door. Kevin realised part of the house must have been modernised, because it had several audio visual presentations of what life was like for the eight people who lived in the annex on the

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upper storeys. It just seemed incredible to Kevin that the families weren’t even able to flush the toilet during the day while the warehouse was occupied. Equally they had to be careful how they walked across the floor, one squeaking board could give them away. Kevin got so absorbed in the lives of the Frank’s, the Van Pell’s, and the others, he didn’t immediately notice that Joey had grown quiet. Looking round, he saw Joey was rather pale, too. “Sir, you okay?” he asked under his breath. “I’m fine.” “You sure?” “Yeah, honestly. Listen, do you want to have a look at the annex itself?” “Um, yes, I would.” The pair made their way up a flight of stairs, Kevin seeing where the bookcase had once concealed the entry to it. The rooms were small, Kevin tried to imagine how crowded it would have been living with seven other people, never being able to go out for a walk, do the shopping or whatever. He shuddered at the thought of having to stay quiet during the day, not showing any lights at night because of possible allied bombing. He realised how narrow such an existence would be, the constant fear of betrayal and discovery never far away. The rooms in the annex were devoid of furniture, which had been removed by the Nazis when the families were betrayed in 1944. The only decoration being innumerable postcards and other items pinned to the walls. Kevin felt chilled at how spartan the place was. He tried— but failed—to imagine what it would be like for a teenage girl, full of life, to have to live for over two years in such a place. Glancing at Joey, Kevin could tell his sir was becoming increasingly ill-at-ease. When the group of people who had been in the room with them left, Kevin took hold of Joey’s hand. “Sir, you don’t look well.” His words were confirmed when Joey turned to face him, his eyes—Kevin struggled to define what he saw. Joey looked lost, bewildered, even a little frightened.

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“Sir, I want to leave now.” “You sure? We haven’t looked in all the rooms yet.” Joey’s voice sounded hollow. “I’m sure.” Kevin took Joey’s arm, and guided him unresisting down the steps and onto the street where Joey took in several deep lungfuls of air. It gave him a little more colour, but his complexion was still pale. “Do you want us to go back to the rig?” Kevin said, feeling helpless at seeing his man so unlike his usual confident self. “Um,” Joey rubbed at his face, “it’s still early, we, um…” Feeling strength he didn’t know he possessed, Kevin said, “Let me put it another way. Please, Sir, take me back to the rig.” Joey nodded and started to walk down the street, Kevin following, ever more disturbed at his lover’s state of mind.

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Chapter 13 Staring up at the shadows on the cabin ceiling, Kevin didn’t know what to do. He’d been told by a rather sullen Joey he had to sleep in the top bunk. Masking his fear and sense of rejection, he’d climbed the ladder and tried to sleep, but not surprisingly he’d remained wide awake. The constant rolling of the ferry as it plied its way across the North Sea did little to calm his already frayed nerves. Kevin had lain for a couple of hours listening to his lover toss and turn on the bottom bunk, the bed letting out a creak of protest each time Joey moved. Much to Kevin’s distress, he could hear the occasional sigh from his man as he also lay awake. It wasn’t normal for Joey not to be able to sleep, but then nothing had been normal that afternoon. Kevin castigated himself yet again for insisting on visiting Anne Frank’s house. Joey was Jewish, albeit not a practicing one, but why hadn’t he realised that bringing his lover face to face with the atrocities of the holocaust was stupid and thoughtless? Was that a sob? Kevin strained his ears, and when the sound was repeated he was certain. Driven by his sense of love and loyalty, Kevin pulled back the sheet and making as little noise as possible, climbed down the ladder. In the gloom, Kevin was able to see that Joey was facing the wall, his sheet and blankets in disarray and lying half-way down his back. “Sir?” Kevin whispered, putting a hand on his man’s bare upper arm. Was that a shiver? “Go back to bed.” The voice sounded empty and desolate. Joey pointed to the top bunk, the movement dislodging Kevin’s hand. Feeling rejected and close to tears, Kevin escaped into the small bathroom. Gazing at his forlorn reflection in the mirror, Kevin felt a wave of disgust wash over him. This isn’t about you! Stop being so fucking self-centred! Your sir is hurting, and it’s up to you, you pathetic little wimp, to do something. As Kevin took several gulps of water, a sense of calm determination began to diffuse through his body. He knew what

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he had to do. Though it scared him to his marrow, he knew there was no alternative. Setting his jaw and squaring his shoulders, Kevin reached for the door handle. His hand shook, but his inner voice told him he had made the right decision. From the small amount of light coming through the port hole, Kevin could see Joey was still facing away from him. As he neared the bunk, he could hear the blood pumping in his ears, he was about to disobey a direct order, something which didn’t sit at all comfortably with him. Another internal voice piped up, causing Kevin to falter. It’s not your place to interfere. Joey’s your superior and he told you to leave him alone. Without even being aware of what was happening, Kevin found he’d taken hold of the ladder. A sigh from the bottom bunk caused him to pause, his foot hovering over the first rung. Wrapping himself in what courage he could, Kevin let go of the ladder and sank to his knees. Extending his still shaking hand, he touched Joey’s warm and clammy shoulder. “Leave me alone,” the empty voice said. Only for a second did Kevin consider obeying. Steeling himself he opened his mouth. “No, Sir. I won’t.” Joey’s shoulders tightened, Kevin had to stifle a cry of alarm, he was convinced Joey would turn round and hit him for talking back. Kevin couldn’t move, his terror freezing him in place. “What did you say?” There was a definite note of menace in Joey’s voice. Kevin’s mouth went dry, his tongue becoming thick and uncooperative. He had to swallow a couple of times before he could speak. “I said, ‘no,’ I’m not going to leave you alone.” Joey fell silent, the fact he didn’t turn over to rebuke him gave Kevin a shred of courage. “Sir, I can’t leave you when you’re like this, I just can’t.” Joey didn’t respond. Inhaling a ragged breath, Kevin took a further leap into the unknown. It terrified him that he was being so disobedient. “Sir, if you saw that I was in pain, I know there’d be no way that you’d let me suffer by myself. Well, Sir, I’m here for you.” Kevin’s

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emotions began to overwhelm him. He couldn’t do this any longer. Feeling totally wretched, and with tears rolling down his face, he fell upon Joey and wrapped his arms around him. Joey suddenly sprung into life and tried to free himself. “Get the fuck off of me!” “No, Sir, please, no!” Kevin realised he was screaming, but he was too wound up to care. “Please, I’m begging you, no! I love you, Sir. I just love you, this is killing me.” Kevin’s heart was pounding in his chest, he couldn’t breathe, his world was falling apart. Just as suddenly as he’d burst into action, Joey went limp and collapsed back onto the mattress. Kevin used the opportunity to climb into bed and wrap his legs around Joey’s lower body. Even though he was still suffering from a severe case of the shakes, Kevin could tell Joey wasn’t faring much better. He could feel his lover’s body trembling, accompanied by the occasional muffled sob. Knowing he had to set aside his own terrors and concentrate on pulling his man through whatever hell he was suffering, Kevin dug deep into his reserves of strength and fought down his panic. Delivering a soft kiss between Joey’s shoulder blades, Kevin said, “I’m here for you, Sir. I’m here.” Kevin snuggled up to Joey’s back, trying to will strength into him. Laying a trail of soft kisses across Joey’s neck and shoulders, Kevin kept whispering words of love and reassurance. Eventually Joey calmed, his shivers stopped and his breathing began to slow. After a loud sniff, Joey—who had steadfastly remained facing away from Kevin—said, “Why?” Kevin didn’t understand the question. “All that cruelty, hatred against, against my people. I don’t understand it. We’re Jews, not sick animals who had to be exterminated. I just can’t…” He let out a couple of whimpers, plummeting Kevin’s spirits even lower. “I can’t understand why they hated us so much. If I’d have lived back then, I’d have to hide like they did, never go outside, always scared of discovery, of being herded into cattle trucks and shipped off to Belsen or Auschwitz.”

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For the thousandth time Kevin wished he hadn’t made such a fuss about wanting to visit the annex on Prinsengracht. “I don’t know, Sir, I just don’t know.” Kevin felt helpless. “It was so organised and calculating. Why?” “Please, Sir, try not to think about it.” “I know, but I can’t. Pup, I shouldn’t be burdening you with all of this. And I’m so sorry for being nasty to you earlier.” “You’re my boyfriend, my sir. I love you, and whatever hurts you, hurts me as well. I’m here for you, Sir. I’ll help you all I can, but I don’t have the answers. I don’t know, maybe it was easier for the Nazis to blame the Jews for everything that was wrong rather than admitting that it was their own fault. Sorry, Sir, I just don’t know.” Kevin wished he could say something that would help his sir feel better. “Six million people.” “I know.” “There were gypsies, communists and even gays.” Joey let out a harsh laugh. If they hadn’t have got me for being Jewish, they’d have rounded me up for being queer.” It was heart rending for Kevin to see such a powerful, dominant man in so much pain. “I suppose we ought to be glad that we don’t live in the 1930s and 40s.” “Suppose so.” Joey still lay on his side, facing away. Manoeuvring himself under his lover, Kevin positioned Joey’s head so it rested on his chest. Remembering how relaxed he always felt when Joey stroked his hair, Kevin decided he’d try the same in reverse. It seemed to pay off, because Joey slowly began to relax and lean back. “Thanks, Pup.” Kevin kissed the top of Joey’s head before saying, “It’s what I’m here for.” “That’s supposed to be my job.” Much to Kevin’s relief, his lover was sounding more peaceful. “It is, Sir, and you’re brilliant at it. When I was in the bathroom a few minutes ago, I got to thinking about all the times you’ve been there for me. So it’s only right that I be there for you

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when you need me.” “I don’t need anyone.” “Sir, you’ve told me loads of times that it’s not wrong to need someone to hold and take care of you.” Kevin began to rub circles on Joey’s chest, hoping the gesture would provide comfort. Despite the drama of a few moments earlier, Kevin found himself boning up. His man’s lush pelt of chest hair was always such a turn on. Joey sighed, causing Kevin to continue the chest rub. “You loving me like this it’s…comforting.” “I know when you hold me it always makes me feel safe. I’m glad you’re letting me hold you. Um, I mean I’m not glad that you need to be comforted or anything. But…you know.” “Yeah.” Joey let out a long, steady breath. As the ferry continued to gently roll from side-to-side, the two fell silent, Kevin maintaining the protective hold on his sir. “Pup?” Joey whispered. Kevin gave Joey a light squeeze by way of answer. “I…” Joey paused before going on. “Kevin, I need to ask you something. I feel so wrung out and…” Kevin kissed the top of Joey’s head again. “I’m here, Sir, I’ll do anything I can to help you.” “Thanks. I’ve been thinking. You offering to love and protect me. It’s strange, but a nice sort of strange. It feels kind of, well kinda right.” “Thanks, Sir.” “Kevin, I…” Joey cleared his throat. “I want you to make love to me, I need you inside me.” A jolt of fear rushed through Kevin, shattering the peaceful half-sleep in which he’d been basking. “Please show me that you meant what you said about taking care of me.” “But, Sir. I…” Kevin was lost for words. Yes he wanted to take care of his sir, but this was a whole different ballgame. He couldn’t process all the objections to why it wasn’t right. Kevin remembered they’d discussed such a scenario a day or two ago. Back then it’d just been an idea, something they

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might try at some point. Joey reached up to switch on the small wall light above his bed before turning to face his partner. Kevin could see a hunger, a deep need in those powerful green eyes. “It’s time, Pup. No man has ever been up there. Until now I’ve never trusted anyone enough to want to give them my virginity. But you’re the man I want to take my cherry.” Oh fuck, he’s serious, Kevin thought. “Um, I’ve never, Um, I…” Kevin felt…he wasn’t sure how he felt. Frightened, amazed, but somewhere deep down he also felt a sense of pride, of awe, that this awesome and powerful man was offering to submit to him. The idea slowly grew within him. “If you’re sure, Sir.” Joey kissed Kevin on the lips. “I’ve never been more sure of anything. What you’ve done for me tonight, loving me, holding me…no one has ever done that for me before.” Despite himself, Kevin smiled broadly. “I, well, I’ll have to prepare you, I’d die if I hurt you. It’s not…easy the first time.” “I know. I’ve had my fair share of virgins, and I wasn’t always as gentle as maybe I should have been.” “I’ll be as gentle as I can.” Staring directly into his lover’s eyes, Kevin said, “Sir, you must tell me if it hurts, and I’ll stop. I can’t, I just can’t ever hurt you.” Joey reached for Kevin’s hands and kissed his fingers. “You couldn’t hurt anyone, Pup…it’s just not in you.” Kevin was close to tears at the trust his man was putting in him. He pushed away the idea that he had trusted Joey never to hurt him. That was after all his role, but it was so fantastic the man he loved was placing the same level of trust in him. He rested his head on Joey’s broad shoulder, unable to verbalise the thoughts that were racing through his head. Joey reached up, disengaged the ladder and folded Kevin’s bunk against the wall, giving them more head room. “You wanna get the lube out of my bag?” Kevin disentangled himself from Joey and squatted in front of the man’s luggage. Turning back to the bed, Kevin saw Joey was lying on his stomach with his legs spread wide. It suddenly impacted him that he was about to do something which

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he’d never done before. His all too familiar insecurities began to kick in, causing him to tremble. Joey turned his head and saw the confusion on Kevin’s face. “You’ll be fine.” Nodding, Kevin sank to his knees and crawled up to the bed. Deciding he would take things slowly and make the loosening up as erotic as he could, he dropped the tube of lube and leaned over to sniff and lick at Joey’s arse crack, his actions causing Joey to moan softly. Emboldened by his lover’s reaction, Kevin stuck out his tongue and aimed for Joey’s rosebud. Hawking up plenty of spit, Kevin pushed the tip of his tongue at the opening. At first there was resistance. He knew it took a fair bit of mental conditioning to relax one’s sphincter; something Joey was obviously unaccustomed to doing. Bringing his hands into play, Kevin stroked along Joey’s muscular thighs. It struck Kevin again that this man, this god was allowing him to do this very personal thing to him. Kevin offered up a quick prayer that once it was over, Joey wouldn’t regret it. Kevin had heard innumerable tales of men who despite the fact they always slept with other men, didn’t actually consider themselves as gay because they didn’t take it up the arse. “You okay?” Joey asked. Kevin realised he’d stopped what he’d been doing. “Uh, yeah, sorry.” Kevin resumed his task. His lover was very tight; Kevin feared hurting him when it came time for him to do the deed. He was conscious of how long it was taking, but he knew he couldn’t rush things. Joey was a rather vocal lover, moaning when something felt good, which Kevin tried to achieve as often as possible. However, he also let out the occasional gasp, or he clenched his muscles when Kevin did something that caused him pain. Kevin wanted to stop a couple of times, but Joey insisted he go on. Once Joey could comfortably accommodate three fingers, Kevin guessed his lover was as loose as he would ever be. Kevin realised part of the reason why it had taken over half an hour to stretch Joey’s sphincter was because he’d been trying to

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put off the final event for as long as he could. “Um, Sir, I think you’re ready.” Kevin could feel his heart rate increase. He realised it was a pity none of his blood was being pumped into his penis, which remained limp. Joey made to turn over, usually when they made love; they did it face-to-face. “Um, no. Sir, though it’d be great to be able to look at you when we do it, with this being your first time, I think it’d be less painful if you stayed on your stomach.” “You’re the boss.” That was such an unusual thing for Kevin to hear, and he wasn’t comfortable with it. He hoped topping Joey wouldn’t alter the dynamic of their relationship. Kevin needed Joey to be the dominant one. Concentrating, Kevin willed his penis to harden, but no matter what he did, it remained soft. He was getting ever more worked up. All that preparation of his sir would be for nothing. Turning his head, Joey immediately took in the situation. “Come here, Pup. Pass me one of those condoms.” Kevin wondered if the rubbers would be too large, there was a great deal of size difference between the two of them. Joey’s touch on his manhood was electrifying. “Close your eyes. I want you to think of how sexy you are, how you’re going to make love to your man, how you’ve shown him tonight what a fucking awesome little bloke you are.” Kevin listened to Joey’s whispered words, though he didn’t necessarily agree with them, he couldn’t deny they turned him on. His eyes flew open when he felt the tight ring of latex being rolled down his penis. It was such a strange sensation, one he’d never felt before. Kevin couldn’t say it was unpleasant, the best he could come up with was that it was odd, but a nice sort of odd. “Okay, stud, you’re ready.” Kevin wasn’t so sure, but the confidence his sir had in him helped to buoy him up. Joey’s thighs were too wide to straddle. So Kevin situated himself between his lover’s spread legs. This he found to his

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relief was a much more comfortable position. Looking at the gaping anal muscle winking up at him, Kevin gulped. This was for real. Lying flat on Joey’s back, Kevin tried to position himself, but missed. He felt foolish, but determined to try again. His second attempt was more successful, Joey’s arse lips felt so weird against his latex-clad member. After a small push, Kevin felt himself beginning to sink into a red hot tube of slightly yielding flesh. It was mind blowing. “Jesus!” Joey gasped. Despite the incredible sensations he was experiencing, Kevin made to withdraw, he knew this would happen. “Don’t you fucking dare!” Joey said through clenched teeth. “But, Sir!” “It’s getting better…just hold still for a minute.” Kevin could feel himself losing his hard on. “In a bit more. Stay hard, Pup, you’re doing fucking great.” Joey’s encouraging words, despite the fact he was obviously not comfortable with the situation, helped to calm Kevin, allowing him to focus on the tremendous penile stimulation he was receiving. These sensations increased when he sank a little deeper into the red hot furnace. He had no idea being on top could be so amazing. “Oh, fuck!” Joey gasped. Kevin froze again. He didn’t know why his sir was putting himself through this. Surely they were happy with the roles they already had. Kevin certainly was. But then he remembered Joey said he needed to be loved and taken care of. Bearing this in mind, Kevin began to rub Joey’s back as well as whispering soft words of love to him. “It’s getting easier,” Joey said, sounding more relaxed. “I just felt a kind of burning pain, you know?” “I know. What’s it like now?” “I feel like I want to take a shit, it’s weird, I can’t really describe it.” Kevin nodded, but then realised Joey couldn’t see the gesture as he had his face in the pillow. “There’s not much more now, you want me to slide the rest in?”

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“Yeah, go for it.” Once fully inside, Kevin had to rest on top of his lover, inhaling the sweat that had broken out on his sir’s broad back. He was in, home, up to the hilt. “Oh, Sir, this is…” Kevin couldn’t formulate the words. “Yeah.” Joey didn’t sound as enthusiastic Kevin noted. However, Joey’s tone changed once Kevin began to slowly slide in and out. Even though all Kevin’s baser instincts told him to pound long and hard, the deep love and affection he had for his sir won out. Kevin used short, gentle strokes, slowly increasing in length. Wow, Kevin thought, this is bloody great. He had no idea it would be like this. On one in-stroke Kevin felt the head of his dick graze against a hard surface, causing Joey to yelp. Kevin was about to withdraw. “Oh! My! God! Do that again!” Kevin’s lust-filled brain registered that he’d just hit his lover’s prostate. Knowing how it felt when Joey stimulated Kevin like that, he concentrated on trying to hit the gland as often as he could. Kevin got so involved in his task; he abandoned his usual timidity, and caught himself letting out several loud grunts of satisfaction. Joey, too, was moaning and crying out as Kevin increased his pounding. Joey’s anal muscles were gloriously tight as they gripped Kevin’s plunging manhood. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer if Joey kept up his milking action. “Gotta come,” Kevin announced breathlessly. “No! Stop.” Kevin froze, fearing he’d gone too fast, too hard or… “I want it to last.” Joey twisted his neck to look up at his partner. Kevin stretched along the expanse of Joey’s back in order to kiss him, but he found to his dismay they couldn’t reach. For Kevin, one of the most enjoyable aspects of their lovemaking occurred when Joey would pause his thrusting, and they’d prolong the pleasure by kissing and murmuring sweet words to one another. Kevin had to content himself by laying a trail of kisses along Joey’s impossibly broad shoulders.

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“Oh, God, Sir, you’re so fucking magnificent.” Kevin amazed himself again at his language. Feeling a deep need to caress his lover’s stunning body, Kevin ran his hands along Joey’s sides, revelling in the hard muscles that lay beneath the sweat-soaked skin. “You’re pretty fucking awesome yourself, stud. You gonna finish what you started?” “Yeah, sure.” Kevin grinned. He knew he was no stud, but if Joey’s frequent vocalisations were any indication, he wasn’t doing such a bad job. When Kevin’s climax occurred, it caught him unawares. One minute he was happily plunging up and down, the next he was flying over the cliff, holding on to his partner’s body for dear life as the most incredible series of sensations he’d ever felt crashed over him. The call to abandon ship could have been sounded and Kevin wouldn’t have known. Explosions of light fired in his head. It seemed as though every nerve ending in his body was sending signals to his brain, overloading it with pleasure. Kevin must have passed out, because the next thing he was aware of was being roused by Joey—who had somehow turned round and was hugging and kissing him. Kevin’s response to the flood of emotions was to burst into tears. “Hey, it’s all right,” Joey said, sounding alarmed. “What’s wrong?” “Oh, Sir.” Kevin had to fight to try and sort out his feelings. “It was great, awesome, scary, and…shit, I don’t know.” Joey chuckled. “But you liked it?” Kevin nodded, unable to trust his voice. “Good, ’cause I did, too.” “Really?” Despite having just heard his lover’s moans of pleasure, Kevin was over-the-moon to learn that he’d done okay. “Silly baby,” Joey said, giving Kevin a kiss. “Of course I liked it, didn’t you hear me?” “Uh, yeah.” Kevin could feel Joey’s hard manhood pressing against his leg. “Oh, Sir, I’m sorry, you didn’t come. I knew I wasn’t really that good.” His spirits began to sink. He knew he wouldn’t have achieved the same heights as his lover,

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but he thought at least he’d be able to bring his man off. “No, it’s okay. Honest it’s okay,” Joey soothed. “But I was supposed to be the one looking after you, Sir.” “Trust me, you did. It was great having someone make love to me.” “But you didn’t get off.” Kevin repeated. “Wanna remedy that then?” Kevin slid down Joey’s sweat-soaked chest until he was face-to-phallus with his lover’s impressive equipment. As he kissed the purple head, prior to swallowing it down, Kevin knew this was where he belonged, where he felt most comfortable. It had been wonderful beyond description to be given the privilege of loving his man in the way that he had, but worshipping his sir’s manhood was where he knew he needed to be. It didn’t take Joey long to discharge his load, Kevin greedily suctioning up every last drop of the precious seed. Now his sir had gotten off, too, Kevin felt satisfied. Crawling back up for their traditional and most welcome post-coital cuddle, Kevin remembered he was supposed to be the one offering comfort, so asked Joey if they could lie chest-tochest with Kevin underneath, hugging his man to him. Joey’s smile broadened. “Yeah, that’d be great.” Once they were settled, Kevin wrapped his arms around Joey and pulled him as close into him as he could. Although it felt strange, Kevin knew he wouldn’t change a thing. “So that’s what bottoming is like,” Joey yawned. “Was it okay? I know I wasn’t as good as you, but I—” “Relax. I think I still prefer to be on top, it’s…” “I know. You are dominant…it’s your role to be on top.” “Maybe, but you topping me has done us both good. You needed the confidence boost, and I needed…some good oldfashioned loving, and I couldn’t have got anyone better to do it.” “Oh, Sir.” Joey shifted. “God, I need to take a crap. I hope everything’s okay down there.” “I didn’t hurt you or anything did I?” Kevin worried. “My sweet pup.” Joey kissed Kevin on the lips. “No, it’s

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fine, but I might be walking a bit funny in the morning,” Joey laughed. Kevin watched as the firm globes of his lover’s arse disappeared into the bathroom. He still couldn’t believe that such a walking wet dream would let him, a small, plain-looking bloke, top him. Kevin knew he was so overwhelmingly lucky to be able to call such a man his sir. **** Sitting on the toilet, expelling a seemingly endless amount of trapped wind, Joey tried to examine how he felt. For the first time in thirty-five years of life, he’d let another man fuck him. No, fuck was too crude. He could tell his little pup had put his heart and soul into trying to make it as good for him as he could. Okay, the little bloke would probably always remain a bottom, but he’d made a decent stab at being a top. Joey winced at his inappropriate choice of words. Did he feel any less of a man for allowing someone to take his cherry? Joey had to think hard over that one. It had certainly required a huge dose of courage to allow someone to do it. But he had no regrets. He had to prove to himself as much as Kevin, that they were meant for one another. What better way of demonstrating that than by rolling over and letting his man inside him? If anything Joey had a greater respect for what Kevin did for him. Joey knew he was quite a bit larger in the dick department, but it had hurt like a motherfucker when Kevin got the head of his dick in him. Joey knew he could never tell Kevin that, it would destroy the little bit of confidence he’d got from the experience. Yeah, Joey’s estimation of his pup had certainly gone up a few notches. It takes a fucking large dose of trust to let someone stick their meat up your shit chute, he concluded. But Kevin’s never complained when I want to slide it up him. He’s always eager to offer up his arse. After flushing the toilet and giving his teeth a quick brush, Joey padded back to his bed, where his lover was waiting with open arms. It touched Joey deeply that this man who had been

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shown so little happiness in his life, was willing to open up his heart and give so much of himself. As he cuddled up to Kevin and soaked up his caresses, Joey knew he was one lucky son of a bitch.

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Chapter 14 “I think that’s everything,” Joey said, cramming another plastic shopping bag into the already overstuffed motorcycle pannier. “Ya think?” Kevin said, shooting Joey an exasperated look, causing the bigger man to chuckle. “Don’t be cheeky. You needed some new clothes, and with us going out tonight, this afternoon was the perfect time to get you kitted out.” “Yes, Sir, but...” Joey shook his head, dismissing Kevin’s feeble protests. After donning his crash helmet, Joey straddled his Harley and coaxed the huge machine into life, relishing the vibration of the powerful engine as it let out its throaty roar. As was his usual practice, Joey allowed himself a sneak look round at the pedestrians walking past. A small group had stopped and were watching with barely concealed envy, causing the area around Joey’s crotch to become a little tighter. Focusing his attention on a guy who had his arm around his girl’s waist, Joey reached down to rearrange himself. His actions caused something of a stir with the girl, who thought she was the one being stared at. Joey didn’t hang around to see what else happened. After reassuring himself Kevin had gotten a good grip, he let out the clutch and nudged the large black and chrome cycle onto the street. As he weaved through the Friday evening traffic, Joey revelled in the warm glow he’d had while picking out clothes for his pup. He’d dragged Kevin round almost every retail outlet in the city centre. For the most part Kevin had gone along with things, but after they almost got caught fooling around in a fitting room, Kevin had put his foot down, insisting Joey remain on the other side of the curtain from then on. Joey had agreed to his demands; it was so cute watching the little bloke assert himself. As he conveyed his lover back to his flat, Joey marvelled at how much more self-assured Kevin had become since their trip to Holland. Of course he would always be compliant and submissive, that was his nature, but Joey was delighted at how

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Kevin was now able to stand up for himself when he thought he was in the right. Joey was still stoked at Kevin taking care of him during the return ferry crossing. Kevin hadn’t taken advantage of the situation as many men would have. All the little bloke had done was open up his arms, providing Joey with a much-needed safe haven where he could rest and regroup. For the most part Joey believed he’d got over whatever had affected him, but he’d agreed to go and speak with the Rabbi about it. He didn’t think it was necessary, but Kevin had insisted. **** “You look fucking hot!” Joey stared at Kevin as he modelled a tailored button up shirt. Joey couldn’t resist running his fingertips along the sheer silk; the dark red material clung so invitingly to Kevin’s chest. When Joey had picked out the shirt, Kevin had protested, saying it was too loud and way too expensive. Despite Kevin’s newfound sense of independence, Joey had no qualms about overruling him. He’d told Kevin he was having the shirt and he’d be wearing it that night. “I suppose it’s okay,” Kevin said examining himself in the mirror. Joey grinned. He knew his pup secretly liked the shirt, but his sense of low self-image wasn’t allowing him to see what he saw. Sighing, Joey knew he still had a lot of work on his hands to overcome the many years of mental abuse and constant putdowns that Kevin had suffered. “And your new hair style really suits you, too.” “It’s not really me,” Kevin said, reaching up to touch the gelled spikes. “Crap, you look bloody sexy, and so absolutely fuckable. I’ll have to beat the blokes off you tonight.” Joey had had to overcome a fair amount of resistance when he’d marched Kevin into the barber’s and told the swishy queen what he wanted doing to his lover’s hair. What with the hairdresser’s constant

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innuendos and double-entendres, combined with Kevin’s protests, Joey had had a hard time keeping a lid on his temper. Kevin turned from the mirror, an unsure expression on his face. “Trust me. It really does look great. I’d never allow anything that would make you look silly or less of a man.” Reaching up, Kevin wrapped his arms around Joey’s neck and pulled their lips to within kissing range. “I’m sorry for making such a fuss. It was just that it was all so expensive, I hate to think how much you spent on me.” Returning the kiss, Joey said, “You’re worth every penny, and much more. And besides, I had a blast spoiling you.” Staring deep into those captivating brown eyes, he continued, “And it was worth every penny to see you looking as handsome as you do now.” “Oh, Sir.” Joey was treated to a dose of Kevin’s adoring expression at full wattage. Joey knew if they didn’t get moving now, he’d rip the clothes off his pup’s back and take him right there on the bed. Delivering a light smack to Kevin’s bottom, Joey said, “Now hurry up, otherwise we’ll be late.” Handing his lover a new pair of skin-tight black leather trousers, Joey watched with keen interest as Kevin slid himself into them. Joey sat on the bed, a hard on growing in his pants as his pup displayed himself to him in his new clothes. After undoing a couple of buttons at Kevin’s neck—revealing more of the white undershirt —Joey leaned back to admire the ensemble. “Fucking awesome,” he said in a low voice. “God, I don’t want to go out now, I just want to stay here and run my hands all over your bod.” “Oh, Sir, stop it,” Kevin said, ducking his head. Joey lifted Kevin’s chin and stared lovingly into the brown pools of life. “I mean it, Pup. Just look at my stiff boner, and it’s all because of you.” Kevin blushed. “Right, one last thing.” Joey said, standing up and

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reaching for a plastic shopping bag. He was surprised at how nervous he’d suddenly become. Withdrawing a studded black leather dog collar, Joey looked down at Kevin’s awestruck face. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Joey said, “Pup, would you wear this for me?” Joey watched as Kevin’s body started to shake, his eyes filling with tears. Sinking to the floor, Kevin began to kiss Joey’s engineer boots. Whimpering, Kevin said, “Sir, my sir. Thank you. Oh, Sir, I love you.” Growing uncomfortable at such signs of obeisance, Joey reached down and lifted Kevin into a tight embrace. “Is it okay? I saw it in a shop when we were out today and…” Joey swallowed. “It’ll be just for tonight, I don’t expect you to wear it all the time.” “No, Sir, no. I’ll never take it off, not ever.” Kevin slid to his knees and gazed up at Joey with the most earnest and worshipful expression of total devotion on his face. Joey was shaken. This symbol of belonging, of ownership, was exactly what was needed to cement them together. With trembling fingers, Joey brought the strip of leather to Kevin’s neck. Pulling the end of the collar through the buckle, it struck Joey that he ought to say something profound, but his mind went blank. Clearing his throat, he said the first thing that came into his head. “Stand tall, stand proud.” Kevin attempted to get up on his wobbly legs, Joey having to help him. In a louder voice, cracking with emotion, Joey said, “Kevin David Lawrence, I claim you as my pup.” Bending forward Joey kissed Kevin’s lips passionately. Kevin flung his arms around Joey’s chest and pressed his face into the man’s shoulder. His wracking sobs soon soaked through Joey’s blue silk shirt, which he’d bought to match the one Kevin wore. He held his pup tight and whispered comforting words to him. Once Kevin’s tears had been stemmed, Joey cupped his lover’s face in his hands. “You okay?” Kevin smiled and nodded his head.

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“Good,” Joey said, returning the smile. “Shit, I almost forgot.” Joey reached into his pocket and took out a silver disc. “I had them engrave ‘Pup Kevin’ on the front, and ‘Owned by Joseph Goldman’ as well as my mobile phone number on the back, just in case you ever get lost,” Joey chuckled to try and lighten the mood. “Please,” Kevin sniffed, “Sir, please put it on for me.” **** Kevin removed his arms from around his sir’s broad frame and took off his helmet when Joey cut off the motorbike’s engine. However, Kevin made no attempt to dismount. He still couldn’t believe that only a few minutes earlier, his sir had collared and claimed him. A quick touch to his neck confirmed he hadn’t imagined the whole thing. As his fingers—numb from the cold— came into contact with the supple leather, Kevin felt a comforting flush of warmth wash over him. “It’s not too tight is it?” Joey asked, removing his helmet and twisting round in the saddle. Kevin shook his bowed head. “It’ll be fine, you know,” Joey said, pointing his thumb at the rather dilapidated red brick single story building that was The Black Bear. “It isn’t that, Sir.” Now Joey had mentioned the pub, Kevin felt himself beginning to tense. Joey slid from the saddle, “Did Briggs ever bring you here?” “Just once,” Kevin said, looking down at the ground. Unpleasant memories surfaced as Kevin remembered the events of a couple of years earlier. “As usual it hadn’t taken Cal long to get rolling drunk. As he was surrounded by all his mates, he started to get more obnoxious and verbally abusive towards me.” Kevin shuddered. “Cal told his cronies that ‘his boy’ was a great cock sucker, and anyone who didn’t believe him could have a free demonstration.” Joey put his arms around Kevin and gave him a tight hug.

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“That fucking bastard.” Kevin clung to his sir tightly and inhaled a couple of deep breaths. Joey’s cologne smelled of safety, of quiet protective strength. Looking up into the concerned, loving face of his lover, Kevin knew he was safe; nothing or no one could hurt him any more. “I wouldn’t suck them off, though, Sir. You have to believe me, I just couldn’t.” “It’s okay, I know you couldn’t.” Kevin searched Joey’s face for any sign of revulsion. Thankfully all he saw reflected back at him was deep love and understanding. He could see a certain amount of anger in those piercing blue eyes, but Kevin knew it wasn’t aimed at him. “Would you rather we went back home?” Joey asked. “No, Sir, I’m okay.” “You sure?” “Yes, Sir.” Joey kissed Kevin’s lips. “I promise I’ll not let anything bad happen. I’ll sort out anyone who so much as looks at you the wrong way.” Kevin dismounted from the saddle, eager to get indoors out of the cold. “Come on, stow these helmets away. Then I can show everyone what a fucking stud pup I’ve got on my arm.” Kevin blushed; he knew his sir was only trying to boost his self-confidence. Though it was embarrassing, Kevin loved Joey all the more for saying it. When Kevin opened the bike’s pannier, he noticed a plastic shopping bag in the bottom. Pulling it out, he said, “I thought we’d emptied everything.” “Shit!” “Sir?” Kevin raised his eyes to Joey, who was looking distinctly uncomfortable. “I got it when I, um, bought the collar, but…” Joey seemed to find something fascinating to stare at on the tarmac. Kevin was dying to know what was making his usually unflappable sir so nervous.

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“You might as well have a look inside the bag, I know you’re dying to.” Opening the bag, Kevin discovered a long, thin strip of hide. Stretching it out, he saw it had a shiny metal clasp at one end; the other was folded over to form a loop. Wordlessly he held it out to Joey. He could feel his knees beginning to knock, his body awash with a curious mixture of emotions. He felt excited, fearful, but there was an overriding sense of doing something a bit naughty and kinky, too. “You sure? It isn’t too far out or anything?” Joey asked. A shiver of fear ran along Kevin’s spine when he looked up to see a rowdy group of rough biker types as they approached the pub’s entrance. Staring back down at the leash, he realised it would give him a greater sense of security if he wore it. “Please, Sir,” Kevin said hoarsely through his tightened throat. Gathering Kevin into his arms, Joey kissed him passionately. The bikers called out telling Joey to “Get a room.” But neither man paid them any attention. “You’re fucking awesome,” Joey said before clipping the lead to Kevin’s collar and starting for the pub’s entrance, Kevin remaining a respectful single pace behind. **** The interior of the pub was nicer than Kevin remembered. The place now had a thick blue patterned carpet on the floor, a vast improvement from the pitted concrete from his previous visit. The central bar area had been revamped. Gone was the bare brick façade with its chrome fittings. It all seemed much more inviting and comfortable than the spit and sawdust dive it used to be. The music was loud, but not uncomfortably so. “What do you want to drink?” Joey asked once they’d made their way over to the bar. “Um, I liked the rum and Coke I had on the ferry.” Kevin had to raise his voice. The music was a good deal louder in the bar area due to the proximity of the dance floor.

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As Joey stood trying to catch the attention of a member of the bar staff, Kevin took a quick look round. All aspects of gay life seemed to be present. Over by the pool tables stood a group of younger men, probably in their late teens or early twenties. They wore tight T-shirts and even tighter jeans. Those who weren’t playing stood around and admired the view of the rears of those who were. The area surrounding the jukebox was where the transvestites and those with body piercings seemed to congregate. Their brightly coloured clothing and effeminate mannerisms irked Kevin. He was a little surprised at his negative reaction, he’d always been one to live and let live. However, he couldn’t help smiling when a couple of the drag queens started to blow kisses at the leathermen who propped up the right hand side of the bar. The muscular and not so muscular men jeered at the transvestites, but it all seemed to be good-natured. Kevin felt most at home with the ordinary looking crowd, those men who were just out to have a good time and enjoy themselves. The small dance floor over on the other side of the bar was occupied by several men, some of whom didn’t seem to have the first idea of how to move to the music. Others seemed to use every opportunity they could to rub up against or grope their dance partner. Kevin wondered if Joey was into dancing. He didn’t think he’d enjoy being so publicly on view, but if his sir wanted to dance, he’d try. “Let’s go and grab a booth,” Joey said, turning back to Kevin, drinks in hand. Still attached to his sir by the leash, Kevin made his way across the pub. A few of its inhabitants impeded their progress, Kevin growing unsettled at how popular his man was. He knew he could never compete with any of the drop-dead gorgeous men who seemed to know his sir well. Finally they came to a small corner booth, which contained a sole occupant mournfully looking out at the crowd of guys. “Hay, mate, mind if we join you?” Kevin could tell Joey was in his big man-about-town persona, which was somewhat at odds from the caring and

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loving man he knew so well. Was this how his sir was normally? Would he grow tired of a shy, unprepossessing bloke like him? Kevin gave himself a severe talking to. He knew his sir loved him, God knows he’d told him often enough. He was wearing the man’s collar. The guy’s eyes appeared to bulge out of their sockets; Kevin could swear the bloke started to drool at the sight of Joey, decked out as he was in his leather jacket and tight-fitting leather jeans. However, when the man’s gaze swung over to Kevin and the leash that connected him to his owner, the guy’s expression instantly changed to envy, tinged with hate. At first Kevin shrank under the harsh glare of the long-haired blond, but realising he was the one out with Joey, not this pathetic wannabe, Kevin went on the attack. Turning to Joey, Kevin stood on tip-toe and laid a kiss on Joey’s lips. “Thank you for bringing me here, Sir.” “Glad you like it. I used to come here a lot, and it’s not a bad place, all in all.” Joey returned Kevin’s kiss, with interest. They took their seats. Kevin sneaked a quick look at the table’s other occupant. If looks could kill, Kevin knew the guy would have him six feet under. Joey put an arm around Kevin, drew him close and kissed him again. Kevin got lost in the daringness of the public displays of affection. The next time Kevin remembered to glance at their table companion he discovered, much to his relief that they were alone. “You did that on purpose.” Joey said, nodding to the now empty seat. “Sir, I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.” Kevin couldn’t prevent the corners of his mouth from lifting up. Joey shook his head in amusement. “Sir, he was giving you the eye, and I had to eliminate the competition.” Joey laughed. “I see I’m going to have to keep a close eye on you tonight, eh?” The arm around Kevin’s shoulder tightened momentarily. Kevin stared up into the chiselled but loving face of his sir.

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“Here, don’t let it go flat.” Joey held Kevin’s glass to his lips, Kevin taking a healthy sip. Was it the alcohol, or the heat of the room, which made him feel so light-headed? Kevin wasn’t sure. “I haven’t seen you in here for a few weeks.” A voice interrupted the moment, causing Kevin to shift his attention to the tall, wiry newcomer. “Huh?” Joey said, no doubt equally distracted. “Because I was such a good fuck last time…you said you’d let me have another go at riding your big dick.” Kevin tensed. Barely glancing at the newcomer, Joey said, “You’re too late, mate. I’m with someone, so do us a favour and fuck off.” The guy sneered at Kevin. “Ditch him and come and have a dance with me. You know I’m a great little mover.” Kevin could feel Joey’s muscles tensing. He hated scenes, but knew this one was inevitable. “I’m not in the habit of repeating myself, but seeing as you’re so thick, I’ll make an exception.” Punctuating each syllable with a jab of his finger in the man’s direction, Joey said, “Why the hell would I want an ugly troll like you when,” he turned to Kevin, “I’ve got everything I need right here.” “Huh!” the man waved a dismissive wrist at Kevin. Getting angry, Joey said, “See this?” he pointed to Kevin’s collar with its attached leash. “He’s mine, and I’m his. Now piss off before I kick your arse out of here.” “Jesus, I’ve heard it all now,” The man laughed mirthlessly. “You, settling down? It’ll never last. I’ve got to tell Tim this. He’ll die laughing.” The guy scanned the crowd and no doubt finding whoever he was looking for, hurried off towards him. Focusing his gaze on a shell-shocked Kevin, Joey said, “Sorry about that. You okay?” Kevin took a gulp of his rum and Coke. “Uh, yeah. Thanks, thanks for saying what you said. About you being mine and…” “Silly baby.” Joey’s face softened before he moved in for a kiss. “You’re worth ten, no, a hundred of guys like him. Hell, I can’t even remember his name. That shows you what a slut I

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used to be, doesn’t it.” “No, Sir, please don’t say that.” Joey sighed. “I was a slut, and this,” he waved his hand at the room, “used to be where I picked up a guy for the night, took him home, fucked the bejesus out of him and then chucked him out in the morning. But you,” Joey stroked his fingertips down Kevin’s cheeks, “changed all that.” Kevin shivered. This was serious stuff. “You say that you used to be a…” “Slut.” Kevin couldn’t bring himself to say the word, not in connection with the awesome man he loved with all his heart. “Sir, you always had within you what you are now. I didn’t invent any of that. It was always there.” Joey smiled, “But it took you to bring it to the surface. Pup, if it wasn’t for you, I’d have probably gone with that bloke, I’m sure I’d have had a good time and everything, but at the end of the day I’d still be alone, and still unfulfilled.” “You fulfil me, Sir, you’re…” Kevin swallowed, “You’re everything to me.” After Joey had delivered a tongue-curling kiss to Kevin’s lips which left him breathless, Joey said, “All this romance is making me thirsty. Want another?” He picked up his empty glass. Kevin remembered something he’d promised himself he would bring up. “It’s my round, I’ll get them.” “Uh uh.” Joey shook his head. “This is your date.” “No, Sir.” Kevin was determined to stick to his guns. “This is our date. You’ve spent way too much money on me already. And besides, you can’t get to the bar unless I let you out of the booth.” Kevin ended with a smile. Joey raised an eyebrow, an amused expression playing on his lips. “We’ve become quite the independent pup, haven’t we?” “It’s ’cause I love you just as much as you love me, and I need to show you.” Joey shook his head, but Kevin could tell it wasn’t a sign of disagreement. Unhooking the leash, Joey said, “I’ll have a Diet Coke.”

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“You don’t want anything in it?” “Nope, not when I’m driving.” Kevin got to his feet, glad his sir wouldn’t risk his driver’s license. As he made his way to the bar through the throng of men, Kevin was amazed, embarrassed and a little scared at the reaction of the crowd. He heard a few wolf whistles. One guy asked him for his phone number, another rather drunk guy, who Kevin thought was quite hunky, even tried to kiss him. Oh, my God, what the hell’s happening? he thought, feeling his face burning up with embarrassment. Shaking his head, Kevin made straight for the gent’s toilets. He needed to wash his face and calm himself down. Standing at a urinal, as far from the other patrons as he could, Kevin tried to pee. Closing his eyes, he silently recited his multiplication tables. Soon he relaxed sufficiently to permit his bladder to begin emptying. A hard pinch to his left arse cheek shocked Kevin out of his reverie. He snapped his eyes open and spun round to face the perpetrator. Kevin’s urine continued flowing and spilled onto the tiled floor as well as the man’s boots. Kevin looked up at a thickly-set bloke, a mop of uncombed dark brown hair sprawling across his head. “Saw you out there. You’re even more cute close up.” “Uh,” Kevin said, wondering if the guy was drunk. Realising he was still pissing on the floor, Kevin pointed his penis back at the porcelain. The man laughed before his wandering hand again reached for Kevin’s bottom, this time patting it lightly. “I haven’t seen you around here before, where’s a pretty thing like you been hiding?” “Uh,” Kevin repeated. This had never happened to him before, no one had ever felt him up, chatted him up or whatever the term was. “I, uh, I’m with someone,” was all he could think of to say as he rearranged himself and zipped up. “Ditch him. I bet my dick’s bigger than his. I’ll let you suck on it all night., Here, have a look.” Kevin began to panic, what had started out as being

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flattering, if embarrassing, had now become scary, his fight or flight instinct coming to the fore. As the other man outweighed him, being about twice his size, Kevin opted for flight, but his legs refused to move, nor was he able to shift his gaze from the man’s crotch as he groped himself. Once his zipper was down, the man reached in to fish his penis out. Judging by the size of the bulge, the guy wouldn’t have any difficulty locating it. A squeak from the outer door snapped Kevin out of his immobility. He fled, narrowly avoiding a collision with the newcomer. Kevin leant against the wall just outside the toilets, overwhelmed and a little out of breath at his bathroom encounter. He knew he’d have to tell Joey what had happened, but he feared his sir would become violent or cause a scene. But the prospect of lying, if only by omission, was something Kevin knew he could never do. Approaching the bar, Kevin waited until he was served. He asked the barman to put a double rum in his Coke, knowing he needed the Dutch courage. As he waited for his change, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He resisted the urge to turn round. “Hello again, little cutie.” “Please,” Kevin said, still facing away. “Go away, I’m not interested.” Kevin jumped as the man put his large hands on his shoulders and started to massage them. “You’re all tense, little one. Why don’t you come and sit with me and I’ll give you a good rub down?” The man laughed, but to Kevin there didn’t seem to be any warmth in it. Accepting his change from the barman, Kevin finally turned to face the man, dislodging his hands in the process. “I’m with someone. This,” Kevin indicated his collar by raising his drink and touching the rim of the glass to the silver tag, “means I’m claimed, and I love my sir very much.” “Aw, that’s sweet.” “My sir is very possessive. He doesn’t like other men chatting me up. So for your own sake I’m saying thanks, but no thanks.” Kevin marvelled at his bravery. Somehow the collar had

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given him the courage to stand up to the guy. Though when he looked down at his hands, he could see they were shaking, causing the ice in the glasses to clink. He took a gulp of his drink before staring right into the man’s eyes. “Goodbye,” Kevin said before turning his back on the man. **** Joey had watched Kevin leave the table and could swear the little sod was giving his cute leather-clad arse a couple of extra wiggles. A fact not lost on the other patrons who openly and lasciviously admired his pup. His pup! Joey ran the full gamut of emotions. He was angry at how blatantly Kevin was behaving. He was proud that Kevin was coming out of his shell, finally recognising what a fucking great little body he had. Joey was also a little fearful. Some of those guys might want to steal Kevin away from him. His fists tightened, They’ll have to go through me first! He sat squirming in his seat, a painful erection pressing into his leg. He remembered joking with Kevin about how he’d have to beat the men off him. He was beginning to think he might have to do it. To Joey’s surprise, Kevin didn’t stop at the bar; instead he made his way over to the gent’s toilets. Joey grew concerned. He knew full well what sorts of things went on in there. He’d picked up more than one trick by waving his equipment about as he stood at the urinals. It took every ounce of his self control not to get up and follow his lover to make sure he didn’t come to any harm. The internal battle was almost lost when Joey saw Kevin emerge, looking a little shell-shocked. Getting to his feet, Joey was immediately accosted by some bloke who claimed Joey had fucked a friend of his a couple of months earlier, and wondered if Joey could do the same for him. Despite his concern over Kevin, Joey couldn’t help wonder that now he was taken, he seemed to have men throwing themselves at him left, right and centre. Joey tried to get out of the booth, but the man, a little too campy for his taste, wasn’t going to be brushed off so easily.

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“I’m a good lay. Best bottom this side of Bradford.” “I’m sure, but I ain’t interested.” “I love a top who plays hard to get. And honey, by the looks of the bulge in those scrumptious leather pants of yours, you’re already pretty hard.” The man reached out and gave Joey’s package a squeeze. Joey was frozen to the spot for a couple of seconds, shocked at the guy’s blatant fondling. Yet again he marvelled at how different things were now he couldn’t take advantage of all the arse that was being served up to him. He looked over the man’s shoulder at Kevin, but to his alarm, he wasn’t there. Joey’s train of thought was interrupted by his potential suitor’s ever more desperate attempts to get into his pants. “For fucks sake, just piss off!” Joey pushed the man to one side, almost knocking him over. Joey advanced towards the last place he’d seen Kevin, his worry escalating with every step. Something in the corner of his eye caught his attention. Turning to face the bar, Joey’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets. Some bastard was looming behind his pup, pawing at him. Joey altered course and steamed towards the bar with his fists clenched, determined to sort the punk out. Kevin was his! By the time he’d pushed his way through the throng, receiving some angry looks and comments from people who had got in his way, the bloke had gone. Kevin seemed okay, if a bit flushed, but Joey was mad, still hell bent on sorting the guy out. “What the fuck’s going on? He had his hands all over you,” Joey said, ignoring the drink Kevin was holding out for him. “Sir, please, it’s okay. Let’s go back to the table.” “But, I want to…” “Sir, please!” Kevin had such a determined look on his face, one Joey had never seen before. Willing to give Kevin the benefit of the doubt, for now, he thought, Joey nodded and pushed his way back to the table, further infuriating those he’d previously upset. “You gonna tell me what the fuck all that was about?” Joey said when they’d got back to their booth, none too gently

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evicting a couple in their late teens who had stolen their seats. “He tried to come on to me.” “The bastard!” Joey made to rise, but Kevin put a restraining hand on his knee. “It’s okay, Sir, honest it is. I was a bit scared at first, and I have to say a little flattered, too. But I kept reminding myself that you,” he stared right into Joey’s eyes, “and only you, are my sir, my lover.” Joey took a gulp of his drink, wishing it was something stronger than Diet Coke. How come he’s so calm about it all? he thought, still fuming inwardly. “I showed him my collar, I thanked him for his interest in me, but I told him that I was very happily taken.” “And he backed off?” Joey said, knowing if he’d been the one in pursuit, that kind of argument wouldn’t have held much sway. “He did when I told him about how protective you are with me. I told him that the last guy who messed with me got put in hospital for a month.” Joey mulled over Kevin’s words, a smile slowly creeping onto his face. “Really?” “Well, uh, not the part about you putting someone in hospital.” Kevin lowered his head. Then he raised it again, his eyes showing great determination. “But I would have done if he hadn’t have backed down.” Joey’s smile got wider. This soon turned into a chuckle, which escalated into helpless laughter. “Oh, Pup! That’s so fucking brilliant.” “Please, Sir. Please put the lead back on me. I don’t mind saying I was a bit scared, but all I had to do was remind myself that you loved me and you’d protect me. That gave me the courage to say what I did, but now I…” Kevin swallowed the last of his drink, “now I need you to hold me and remind me that you’re mine.” Joey’s laughter died in his throat. He clipped the leash to Kevin’s collar before lifting him onto his lap and hugging him fiercely. “I’m not letting you get any further away from me than

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this for the rest of the night,” he said into Kevin’s hair. Kevin turned round so he was chest-to-chest with Joey, wrapped his arms around him and snuggled even tighter. “I love you, Sir.” **** “Get that fucking gorgeous little arse of yours up those stairs!” Joey said, chasing a giggling Kevin up the three flights of steps to his flat. Joey had been horny for most of the night; Kevin looked so God damned hot in those clothes and his new hairstyle. If he stopped to think about it, Joey couldn’t blame that other bloke for wanting a piece of his pup. But amazingly Kevin had put the guy in his place without Joey having to step in. The sight of Kevin’s leather-clad bum as it bounced in front of his face put Joey on full bone. “Come on, you little stud, I can’t wait,” Joey said, reaching out to give the perfect mounds of arse flesh a quick grope. “Sir, someone will see!” Kevin said through his laughter. “Let ’em. I want everyone to know what I’m going to do with you.” They’d reached his door. Turning round, panting from his exertions, Kevin said, “And just what has my sir got in mind?” Joey leered at Kevin, sending him into another fit of giggles. “Let me get that door open and I’ll show you.” Joey grew impatient with himself as he fumbled with the lock. “Let me,” Kevin said, putting a hand over Joey’s and slotting the key home and turning it. Joey stood in his hallway, pressing Kevin up against the closed door. Punctuated by a series of kisses, he said, “I am so fucking horny.” He then bit the side of Kevin’s jaw. As he fought to remove Kevin’s shirt, Joey ground his painfully hard manhood into Kevin’s belly. Once the shirt had been discarded, Joey pulled off Kevin’s undershirt and immediately swooped down to suckle on the exposed nipples,

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causing the smaller man to moan softly. After undressing himself, Joey returned his attention to Kevin, whom he unzipped, fishing out his raging hard tube of flesh. Joey was thankful Kevin had insisted on copying him and going commando. Sinking to his knees, Joey engulfed Kevin in one quick swallow, the smaller man throwing his head back, unable to stifle his cry of surprise. As he worked on his lover’s pole, Joey eased Kevin out of his lower garments. Once his pup was nude save for his dog collar, Joey used his hands to rub along Kevin’s smooth thighs until he reached the almost hairless scrotum. Joey then spent some time gently massaging his pup’s balls. “Ah, Sir! I’m close,” Kevin panted. As Joey didn’t want Kevin to climax yet, he withdrew, held Kevin by the hips, and with as much tenderness as his lustfogged brain would allow, lowered him to the hall carpet. Desperate to re-connect, Joey crawled on top of his pup, zeroing in on his face, vacuuming the tongue from his mouth and sucking on it hungrily. The two men kissed, Kevin seeming to be just as desperate for Joey as Joey was for him. Hoping Kevin would be sufficiently distracted by their protracted round of face sucking, Joey fumbled for his trousers. Locating the back pocket, he pulled out a small tube of lubricant and did his best to open himself up. Though he couldn’t identify why, Joey wanted, needed Kevin inside him something bad. Although he’d enjoyed it the last time he’d bottomed, Joey still knew he preferred to be on top. But there was a deep itch within his bowel that needed to be satisfied, and he was determined his pup’s pole would scratch it. Believing he was as loose as he could make himself in the time available, Joey reached for his trousers again and withdrew a condom. After seeing a porn video where the guy opened the foil package with his teeth, Joey tried to emulate the manoeuvre. He then rolled to the side and grasped Kevin’s hard member that lay up against his abdomen. “But, Sir, I…” “You were great last time. So we’re going to try it again, but

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with me in charge.” Joey rolled the latex sheath down Kevin’s rod. “You need to be opened up, Sir, you can’t take me like you are.” Joey smiled at how Kevin was always thinking of his comfort. “Done that, Pup.” “Yes, but you need to lube up my dick as well.” Good thinking, Joey thought, reaching for the tube once more. Squatting over Kevin’s erection, Joey focused his mind, willing himself not to tighten up. His opening soon found the head of Kevin’s dick; Joey could have sworn the thing had doubled in size. But there was no way he was going to chicken out now. Closing his eyes, Joey pushed downward allowing a couple of inches inside. “Jesus Christ!” Joey’s eyes flew open. It stung like a motherfucker. How the hell does he do it? he thought as he looked through watery eyes at his collared Kevin, who was gazing up at him, a concerned look on his face. “Stay still, Sir. Don’t move.” Joey had no intention of going anywhere. After a few minutes of protest, Joey’s ring gave up the unequal struggle and accepted its fate. Holding his breath, Joey sank all the way down, the previous pain replaced by a satisfying warm fullness. “You’re so tight.” “And you’re so big!” Joey could feel the sweat pouring from his body. Lifting himself up a couple of inches, he could feel his anal muscles gripping Kevin’s pole, not wanting to let go. Sinking back down, he rested for a moment before trying again. Joey found it all rather pleasant; he soon reassessed this, bumping it up to fantastic when he increased the speed and height of his lifts. Joey’s pleasure monitor went off the scale when Kevin began to thrust back at him. And when his prostate received a direct hit, Joey thought the fuse box had blown. The overriding feelings of ecstasy were too good to deny. Joey couldn’t help himself; he sped up even more until his orgasm overtook him. Through the

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lightning show going off in his head, Joey could see several ropes of semen being fired onto Kevin’s face, chest and belly. “Oh, my, God!” Joey collapsed on top of Kevin, spent from his exertions, the muscles in his legs protesting at the duties they’d been asked to perform. Straightening out, trying to relieve the pain in his calves, Kevin popped out of Joey’s rectum with a sucking plop, causing both men to giggle. Judging by the semi-flaccid nature of his lover’s manhood and the full reservoir at the condom’s tip, Kevin too had climaxed, but in his race to grab as much pleasure as he could for himself, Joey realised with some shame, that throughout it all, he’d solely focused on his own pleasure, and not on that of his lover. “I’m sorry, Pup.” Joey slid down Kevin’s body, located the waiting, slightly parted lips and delivered the sweetest, tenderest apology he could muster. “Huh?” Kevin said once Joey had removed his tongue from Kevin’s mouth. “Why are you saying sorry, Sir? That was so hot.” Joey became aware that he was putting all his weight on Kevin, so he levered himself up on his elbows and stared down at his partner’s flushed and sweaty face. “It was?” “Yes, Sir, definitely.” “That was pure animal sex. But…” rolling to one side, Joey got to his feet. With practiced ease he picked Kevin up from the floor. “…this will be sweet,” Joey interrupted his words with angel kisses around Kevin’s face, “Loving, gentle, slow, and tender.” Stepping over the piles of discarded clothes, Joey carried his man into the bedroom, determined to love him to the best of his ability. **** Kevin lay on Joey’s bed, a folded pillow under his bottom, as his sir slowly pistoned in and out of him. It was sheer agony. He’d gotten really revved up when Joey had power bottomed over him, his ever increasing plunges taking Kevin to a never before experienced level of ecstasy. But this annoyingly slow pace was

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such sweet torture. It was cruel and unusual punishment, it was intolerable, and Kevin couldn’t stand it any longer. “Please, Sir, go harder.” “Uh uh.” Joey shook his head, an evil smirk playing across his lips. Kevin groaned when Joey slapped away his hand; he needed, he just had to get off. “What’s the magic word?” Joey asked, the same selfsatisfied, superior half-smile on his face. “My sir is awesome,” Kevin tried. Joey shook his head, his maddeningly slow pace remaining unaltered. Even though Kevin had shot his bolt an hour earlier— Jesus, have I been tortured for a whole hour?—He knew he would simply go mad if he didn’t come within the next couple of minutes. He’d already soaked the sheets with sweat. “Er,” Kevin said, hoping he’d chosen the right words, “my sir is the strongest, most powerful, biggest most awesome love God in the whole world.” Joey laughed, “All that’s true, but it’s not the right answer.” Kevin whimpered, Maybe I could take my case to the European Court of Human Rights, he thought. “Want a clue?” Joey asked. With gritted teeth, Kevin nodded. He was so close to the edge; he’d been on the edge several times, but his lover had always stopped seconds before he reached his destination. It was maddening. And now he wants to play guessing games with me. “It’s just three little words, Pup.” Uh? Kevin’s brain was full of cotton wool. He couldn’t think straight, but then the light bulb went off in his head. “I love you!” Kevin shouted, not caring if half the town heard him. “Is the right answer!” Joey lifted Kevin by his thighs before delivering a series of hard thrusts directly to the man’s prostate. Kevin’s world tilted. He thought his insides were in serious danger of being expelled through his pee slit. He felt rather than heard himself screaming. His whole being vibrated as it celebrated his release.

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Though he didn’t have any way of measuring time, Kevin could have sworn his orgasm had lasted a full ten minutes. Even as he lay cuddled up to the damp, sweat-soaked body of his lover, his bringer of joy, of laughter and protection, Kevin still felt the occasional aftershock shiver through his totally spent body. “You awake?” Joey asked barely above a whisper. “Uh huh.” Kevin found one of Joey’s nipples and began to nurse on it. “You want to go and get cleaned up?” Kevin considered the question, but realised he didn’t have the energy. “Nope. I just wanna stay here and love you. Please, Sir, please don’t ever leave me.” Kissing the top of Kevin’s head, Joey said, “I promise.”

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Chapter 15 Joey stirred. A quiet dripping sound was relentlessly eating into his consciousness, pulling him out of his sleep. Though he tried to ignore it, his brain refused to let go as it attempted to identify the source of the noise. He kept his eyes tightly closed, hoping if he ignored whatever was going on, he’d be able to recapture the comfortable dark warmth of his dream. But it was no good. The noise persisted. Giving in, he opened his eyes, lifted himself up on an elbow and stared hatefully at the rainwater hitting the enamel bowl in the far corner of Kevin’s apartment. They’d been forced to put the bowl there the previous week in order to catch the drips from the leaking roof. The insistent plopping stimulated Joey’s bladder, which began to fire messages to his brain, telling it that he needed to get up and visit the bathroom. “Fucking hell!” Joey swore under his breath. He didn’t want to venture out into the icy cold room, especially as it was so exquisitely warm under the quilt with his lover snuggled up to him. Hoping to hold off for a little longer, Joey sank back to the mattress and moulded himself against the smooth softness of his pup’s body. It was Monday and Joey knew he didn’t have a run until later in the morning. However, listening to the elements doing battle outside, he knew he’d have to get up soon to take Kevin to work. No way was he letting him stand at the bus stop in this weather. The pressure in Joey’s bladder became such he could no longer ignore it. Sighing heavily, he edged himself from under Kevin’s sleeping body, trying not to disturb the quilt too much, hoping he could keep as much warm air under the covers as possible. “Jesus fucking Christ!” he exclaimed quietly as his bare feet hit the cold threadbare carpet. He danced on tiptoe towards the thicker pile of the rug that lay in front of the gas fire. Igniting the ancient heater with a match, Joey turned the knob to full, praying it would take the

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worst of the chill out of the room before Kevin woke. Now he was vertical, the pressure on his bladder increased, telling him a visit to the toilet had become imminent. He rejected the idea of peeing in the sink; if Kevin found out— which he was bound to—Joey knew he’d never hear the end of it. A quick glance round the room didn’t reveal the whereabouts of his trousers. He grinned, remembering the rapid undress he’d performed the night before as he and Kevin got down to some hot, heavy and very passionate lovemaking. Another spasm, more urgent than the last, told Joey he didn’t have time to muck about searching for clothes. Dashing naked out of Kevin’s room, Joey beat a hasty path towards the fortunately unoccupied bathroom. “Fuck!” The linoleum in the hallway and bathroom was so cold it burned his bare feet. Raising himself on tiptoe he made it to the toilet bowl just in the nick of time. After shaking off the final dribbles, Joey flushed the toilet and picked his way back across the hallway. “Shit! Bugger! Fuck!” In his haste to depart, he’d closed Kevin’s door, locking himself out. He knocked at the door and danced on the icy floor. To add to his woes, Joey heard someone ascending the stairs. Hoping he wouldn’t wake the whole floor, Joey banged harder. “Come on, Kevin, open the fucking door!” he said quietly through gritted teeth. The creaking stair treads sounded loud in the otherwise silent hallway. Joey knew it would only be a matter of moments before he was discovered in all his goose-pimpled naked glory. He could feel the cold seeping into his bones. His gonads had retracted into his body; whether through fear or cold, he didn’t have the time to speculate. Joey’s attention was brought back to the door when he heard the lock click. He watched, as the handle seemed to turn with agonising slowness. In his haste to enter the dark, slightly warmer but infinitely safer interior, Joey almost knocked a still half-asleep Kevin off his feet. “Sir?” Joey tried to steady his racing pulse. “I needed to piss and

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I got locked out.” “Why didn’t you just use the kitchen sink?” Kevin asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Joey shook his head. Yawning, Kevin asked, “What time is it?” Through his chattering teeth, Joey said, “It’s still early.” The gas fire hadn’t done much to raise the room’s temperature. “Sir, go back to bed where it’s warm.” Kevin took hold of Joey’s hand and led him to the bed, getting in after him. Kevin involuntarily shrank from Joey’s shivering body. “You’re freezing.” “Sorry. It’s fucking brass monkeys out there.” “My poor sir.” Joey felt Kevin wrap his thin arms around him, unselfishly sharing his body heat. “Thanks, Pup.” Resting his head on Joey’s shoulder, Kevin said, “I like it when I can do things to help you.” Joey delivered a kiss to the top of Kevin’s head. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Kevin sighed. “Even though you’ve only been my sir for six weeks, I don’t know what I’d do without you, either.” Six weeks, Jesus! It only seems like yesterday when I picked him up from the tarmac and brought him home, Joey said to himself. Burying his nose into the soft and comforting pillow of Kevin’s hair, Joey drank in the heady aroma of his pup’s rich, safe and pure scent. Joey felt Kevin shudder. He knew full well why. Despite all the gains in self-confidence Kevin had made, Joey knew deep down his lover was still very unsure of the future, their future. Joey blamed himself for not providing the security his pup needed and deserved. Since they had got together there had always been that one final stumbling block, a line Joey had felt unable to cross. Because of his mother’s attitude towards his imprisoned uncle, a convicted paedophile, Joey knew if he openly declared his love for Kevin, he would lose the lifeline that his family gave to him. Though being part of a large extended family had had its

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disadvantages—the almost total lack of privacy, a seemingly endless line of aunts and uncles to whom he had to make dutiful and regular visits. However, he knew he would be lost without the safety blanket his relatives gave to him. Opening his eyes, Joey surveyed his surroundings. The illumination from the low-wattage bulb in the bedside lamp couldn’t disguise the grottiness of Kevin’s room. Hadn’t he told Kevin time and time again he ought to withhold part of his rent until the ancient hot-water system had been overhauled? Not to mention the ever-widening cracks in the walls, the loose windows in need of re-puttying. The leaking roof was only the latest example of how Kevin’s building had been neglected. Though Joey knew Kevin didn’t like living in such squalor, he also was aware his pup hated to make a fuss. Joey had invited, even demanded, Kevin come and stay with him for as many nights as he dare without drawing his mother’s attention to their relationship. She’d already commented a number of times how often she’d seen Kevin. Thankfully, Joey had managed to put her off the scent, but he was running out of reasons for Kevin to be at his place so often. Joey hated himself for not standing up and telling his mother that he’d found the love of his life, the person who completed him. Joey’s gaze fell upon the now peacefully sleeping man lying in his arms. Barely above a whisper, he said, “You’ve given me more love, more joy than I deserve.” It was no good; he couldn’t allow his lover to live in this shit-hole any longer. If his mother washed her hands of him, then so be it. Kevin needed him, and he needed Kevin. His mother would just have to accept it, and if she couldn’t—Joey shuddered—then she couldn’t. Now the decision had finally been made, a warm sense of satisfaction spread through Joey’s body. He felt like leaping out of bed and dancing round the room. The knowledge that he could now fully commit and give himself totally to his pup gave him such an incredible buzz. “This is right. Oh, God, this is so fucking right!” Kevin stirred, Joey hadn’t realised he’d spoken out loud.

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“It’s okay, Pup, go back to sleep,” Joey crooned. He wasn’t ready to share his news yet; he needed a few more minutes to savour the joy it gave him. **** Despite having made his decision, Joey still found his palms sweating as he stood—cycle helmet in hand—at the kerb looking up at the nondescript semi-detached house where he’d grown up. He wished fervently it were all over and he was back at home with Kevin. Joey had procrastinated over making the phone call to his mother. He’d walked past the instrument several times; even going as far as picking up the receiver, but the thought of actually dialling the number filled him with dread. In the end his mother had called him, informing him his presence was requested on Friday evening. Usually Joey tried to make excuses not to attend Shabbat, disliking all the Jewish mumbo-jumbo, the prayers and lighting of candles, but at least it provided him with the opportunity he’d been seeking to come out. Looking up in the sky, he saw to his dismay it was beginning to get dark. Years of brainwashing had taught him his mother began Shabbat at eighteen minutes before dark, and woe betide anyone who turned up late. Letting out a deep sigh, Joey put one foot in front of the other and made his way to the back door—the image of the condemned man shuffling to the scaffold firmly fixed in his head. He felt sick, his stomach was in knots, he knew what he was about to do would have an irrevocable effect on his family. Raising his hand to grasp the handle, Joey jumped when the glass-panelled door opened, the unwelcome figure of his sister standing in the opening. What the fuck’s she doing here? Then he realised it might be best if he got the whole thing over with in one fell swoop. He winced at his continued use of execution analogies. “Carole,” he said in what he hoped was a neutral tone. “Hurry up. It’s almost time,” she said, turning into the room.

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And good evening to you, sister, dear, Joey thought as he stepped inside the warm, damp kitchen with the all too familiar aroma of chicken and gefilte fisch. He had to swallow hard not to throw up, not that there was anything in his stomach; he’d been unable to eat all day. “You’re looking thinner,” his mother said after replacing the lid on a steaming saucepan. “Ma, don’t fuss,” Joey said, delivering a dutiful kiss to her cheek before taking off his leather jacket, hanging it up and going into the dining room. Joey was shocked to see the table fully extended, with seemingly half his family sitting around it. Wincing at the number of people present, he began to have second thoughts about coming out. After obligatory greetings had been exchanged, Joey sat down in one of the few vacant chairs. “Joseph,” His father said, nodding at him. “Dad.” Joey looked over at the wizened, pasty-skinned old man who sat opposite, a line of drool clinging to his lower lip. Ever since Joey had reached his teenage years, the pair had done little more than acknowledge each other. Closing his eyes, Joey tried to think of something to lift his spirits. An image of Kevin’s unbelieving expression, when he was told of Joey’s decision to come out, swam into his mind’s eye. After Kevin’s initial euphoria had passed, his expression had changed to one of concern. “Are you sure, Sir? I know it’s a big step. I don’t mind carrying on as we are now. I’ve got your love…that’s all I need.” God bless him, Joey thought as he sensed other people taking their places around the table. All his lingering doubts about coming out were rapidly evaporating. Joey knew how much the clandestine nature of his and Kevin’s relationship ate away at his pup’s self-confidence. The fact Kevin was willing to allow Joey to keep up the deception with his family caused his heart to overflow. His resolve strengthened, Joey opened his eyes to see his mother strike a match and light one of the two candles which

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stood in ornate wooden holders on the table. He was relieved to realise he’d have to put off his announcement until the meal had been completed, because his mother would never allow any serious discussion to take place at her dinner table. Elation soon gave way to anger, however, Joey despising himself for his cowardice. After lighting the second candle, his mother covered her eyes with her hands. “Barukh atah Adonai, Elohaynu, melekh haolam…” “Huh?” Joey said out loud. His mother shot her son a disapproving look, causing Joey to squirm uncomfortably in his seat. Usually the prayers and blessings were spoken in English. Something serious must be going down if she’s going all Hebrew on us, Joey thought. Despite not having heard the prayer in Hebrew for many a year, it surprised Joey how much he remembered, and how comforting the sound of the words were to his frazzled nerves. “…l’had’lik neir shel Shabbat. Amein.” His mother sat down and surveyed her family. By instinct, Joey immediately reached for the ornately crafted goblet that sat to the right of his place setting. For a reason to which Joey was never privy, his mother had always insisted on Kiddush being said by the whole family. “Vay’hiy erev vay’hiy voqeir yom ha-shishiy. Vay’khulu ha-shamayim v’haaretz v’khol tzva’am.” Joey recalled a phrase his maternal grandmother used to say to him. “Once a Jew, always a Jew.” Despite her formidable reputation, Joey always had a soft spot for the game old bird. Joey looked round at the other members of his family. His two uncles sat side by side, Kiddush cups held firmly. Fixing his gaze on his sister, Joey couldn’t help a small smile of satisfaction at how the stuck up woman just sat there opening and closing her mouth, unable to remember the Hebrew phrases. Joey’s eyes then fell upon Simon, who was also struggling with the words, though he seemed to be making a better job of it than his mother. Simon treated Joey to a pensive smile before lowering his eyes to the tablecloth.

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“…Barukh atah Adonai, m’qadesh ha-shabat. Amein.” Joey brought the cup to his lips and swallowed the small quantity of wine, grimacing at its cloying sweetness. From the kitchen, his mother carried in a large pottery bowl of warm water and set it in front of her husband. Once he’d finished washing his hands, she took the bowl to the sideboard, where the other diners had congregated. Joey had been watching Simon, perplexed at his sluggish, even pensive behaviour. Normally his nephew would be bouncing up and down with excitement, chatting away to him, earning sour looks from his mother. The sullen, downcast expression on the boy’s face was so unusual. Wanting to get to the bottom of whatever was upsetting the lad, Joey made sure he was immediately behind Simon as they queued to cleanse their hands. Simon filled a cup of water, and poured it over the top of his right hand. Turning his wrist, he tipped the remainder of the water over his palm. He then reversed hands and repeated the procedure. Before reaching for the towel, he mumbled, “Blessed are You, Lord, our God, King of the Universe, Who sanctifies us with his commandments, and commands us concerning washing of hands.” When Simon turned to face the room, Joey could see the boy’s eyes were filled with unshed tears. “Simon?” Joey put a hand on his nephew’s shoulder. The eight-year-old flung his arms around Joey’s waist. Burying his head into his uncle’s chest, Simon let out a series of heartrending sobs. Joey held the crying boy, clueless as to the cause of his distress. Looking up at the other members of his family, Joey silently asked them if they knew what was going on. His mother looked sympathetic. Carole wore her usual scowl, while his two uncles shifted uncomfortably. Leading a highly distressed boy back to the table, Joey sat down and pulled Simon onto his knee. “Would someone like to tell me what’s going on?” For Simon’s sake, Joey tried to keep a lid on his temper. He got the distinct impression something had happened and he was the only one who wasn’t in on the secret.

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“Keith’s going to go live in Israel. Mum said she was going with him.” Simon mumbled into Joey’s wet shirtfront. “Huh?” Joey was stunned. “But…” “I don’t wanna go with her, Uncle Joey. I don’t wanna go.” Simon clung ever-tighter to Joey. “Hush. Come on, Champ.” Joey rubbed the trembling boy’s spine. Carole spoke up. “We were going to wait until after dinner before bringing this up, But Simon couldn’t wait to go overboard with the waterworks.” Joey’s temper boiled over. “You fucking heartless cow! How the fuck do you expect an eight-year-old to react when you threaten to make him live half way across the world?” “Joseph!” Joey’s dad coughed and tried to get out of his chair. Joey’s mother rushed over to her husband, coaxing him back down. She then shot a murderous look at her son, but Joey refused to be cowed. “And when was all this decided?” Joey said, scrutinising his relative’s faces. At least his uncles had the decency to look abashed. “Can’t all this wait till after dinner?” Carole’s sour expression deepened. “Does it fucking look like it can wait?” Joey hissed through gritted teeth. “I think we best talk about it now,” Joey’s mother said, coming over to comfort her grandson. Patting his shoulder, she said, “It’ll be all right, bubele.” “They said,” Simon hiccupped. “Uncle Joey, they said that I could come and live with you if I didn’t want to go with mum.” Simon lifted his head and looked pleadingly at Joey, his green eyes swimming with fear and desperate hope. Cupping Joey’s now colourless face in his small hands, Simon said, “Please, Uncle Joey, please say yes.” Joey opened and closed his mouth. He was furious. How dare they organise it all behind his back and present him with a done deal like this! How dare they trick him with emotional

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blackmail, knowing he could never say no to Simon! Shaking his head to try and clear it, Joey felt he was losing his grip on reality. Things were spiralling out of control. He’d come to dinner to tell his mother he was in love with another man. Though he’d expected things to be turned upside down, he hadn’t expected any of this. The room had gone quiet; Joey could feel all eyes on him, waiting for his reaction. He wanted to scream at them, call them every name under the sun, but he was too angry, too confused to speak. Of course he wanted Simon, but what of Kevin? He needed time and space to think. Joey watched in morbid horror as Simon’s expression crumpled, his eyes dimming with disappointment at Joey’s continued silence. Releasing his grip, Simon slid to the floor, rolled himself into a protective ball and began sobbing louder than he’d done previously. The enquiring gazes of his family quickly turned to disapproval. He could feel his anger bubbling very close to the surface. It was their fault, not his, that Simon was hurting. Joey’s sense of being trapped was beginning to overwhelm him. Getting to his feet, his knees wobbling, Joey bolted for the kitchen. Snatching his helmet from the worktop, he wrenched open the back door; in his hurry to escape he tripped over the step and fell to his knees on the concrete. Picking himself up, he sprinted for his bike, mounted the saddle, fired up the engine and roared away. Pushing the bike to its limits, Joey sped down the dual carriageway, the wind and rain whipping at his clothing. In his desperate rush to escape from his mother’s, he’d left his biking jacket behind. Joey welcomed the numbing cold, hoping it would quench the ball of fire which burned in his chest. No matter how long he lived, he knew he’d never be able to expunge the image of his nephew’s face falling with disappointment at Joey not immediately rushing in to reassure him. Tightening his grip on the handlebars, Joey felt his anger turn inwards. How the fuck could he just sit there and watch his nephew sink to the carpet in an agony of disappointment and rejection? He hadn’t reassured Simon, he hadn’t told him that of course he would take him in.

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What kind of an uncle was he to allow that to happen? Joey kept on going, fully aware of what he was running from, but having little clue as to what he was running to. He thought about going to see Kevin, knowing he’d be made welcome, but Kevin was expecting to hear the news that he’d come out and the pair of them could make plans to move in together. But Joey couldn’t deal with seeing another person disappointed at his actions or rather inactions. Though he was becoming aware of how cold he was, part of Joey’s brain told him to carry on riding until he dropped. However, the more rational side of his brain impressed on him the need to seek shelter. Much to his surprise, he found he was close to the synagogue. He must have somehow changed direction and headed back into town. Thinking any port was welcome in a storm, Joey flicked on his indicator, and turned right into the car park in front of the tall, heavily-windowed grey stone building. Shivering, Joey dismounted from his bike and made for the heavy wooden door. The temple was quiet and dimly lit. Embracing the warm heavy stillness, Joey hoped it would help to calm his racing thoughts. Choosing a pew in the back corner, veiled by the shadow cast by the ladies’ balcony, Joey sat down, placed his helmet next to him and inhaled a few steadying breaths. It had been years since he’d seen the inside of the temple. As a child he’d been forced to attend, but following his bar mitzvah, he argued the Torah said he was now considered to be a man, responsible for his own actions. Though his mother had grave doubts that the thirteen-year-old headstrong boy could ever be responsible, she couldn’t deny what the Torah said, so she unwillingly agreed to allow Joey not to attend temple as often. Nothing in the place seemed to have changed. The large arch on the east wall was still there, as was the eternal light, brightening the gloom around it. “God, if you’re listening,” Joey began softly, “I know I’ve not been a good Jew…I’m sorry. I just…” Joey sniffed. “I thought I had it all sorted out. I’d live with Kevin, make him happy, be a

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good supportive man for him. But…” Joey swallowed. Why was he here? He wasn’t even sure if he believed in God. “I don’t know what to do. I love Kevin, but I love Simon, too. Please, God,” Joey stared at the light, “please, if you’re there, help me.” Clasping his hands together between his knees, Joey bent his head, closed his eyes and continued to pray silently. He hoped God was listening, but somehow doubted it. Hearing the pew next to him creak, Joey looked up to see the rotund figure of the rabbi settling his bulk a couple of feet away. The man’s ever-jovial face peered at him questioningly. “Young Joseph, isn’t it?” “Good evening, Rabbi. I…” Joey shifted; he was uncomfortable at being seen at such a low ebb. “Want to talk about whatever’s troubling you?” The man’s soft deep voice was almost hypnotic in its tone. Joey shook his head. “I can’t. It’s…” he swallowed, “it’s something I’ve got to work out myself.” The rabbi nodded. The room fell silent; Joey felt the need to explain. “I… I’ve got to make a decision, and whatever I choose will end up hurting someone.” “I see,” the rabbi said slowly. “Do you have to make this decision now?” “Pretty soon, yes.” “At the moment, the person who seems to be hurting the most is yourself.” Sighing, Joey said, “Yeah, you’re not wrong.” Joey closed his eyes. The rabbi was decent enough; he’d been great when Joey had had a bad reaction to the Anne Frank museum, but all he wanted now was to be left alone to think. After several minutes of silence, the pew let out another squeak. “You know where I am if you ever want to talk.” “Thank you, Sir,” Joey said, not looking up. After sitting with his head bowed for a further ten minutes or so, Joey realised he was no closer to a resolution. His damp clothes were becoming uncomfortable. He also felt the need to take a shower, the hotter the better. Rubbing at his gritty eyes,

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Joey got to his feet and slowly made his way out of the synagogue. Fortunately the rain had stopped, but the wind was still gusting hard, causing him to start shivering again. After revving the engine, Joey began the short journey home, hoping his bottle of Scotch was still in its hiding place behind the refrigerator. A few stiff whiskies would—he hoped—help to sort his head out. **** As far as Kevin was concerned, Friday lunchtime was one of the happiest days of his life. Joey took him out for a meal in a local pub, and told Kevin of his decision to come out to his family. Despite himself, Kevin’s head filled with images of him and his sir setting up a home together, living openly, going for walks in the evening, holding hands and…. Joey was summoned to his mother’s house Friday afternoon for the traditional marking of the Sabbath. He told Kevin he would come out to his mother and the rest of his family during the meal. Kevin imagined Joey being in the middle of a shouting match, defending his right to live his life as he saw fit. The image caused Kevin to flush with pride for his indomitable protector. As the hands on the clock moved on their inexorable journey with no sign of his lover, Kevin’s happiness dimmed. Kevin reluctantly prepared for bed; his uncertainty combining with the lack of the physical presence of his lover resulted in a restless night. A knocking on his door woke Kevin on Saturday morning. Opening one eye, he saw to his surprise it was a little after 9 am. Leaping out of bed, Kevin’s heart began to race. His sir had come to take him away from the dingy squalid conditions of his cramped little flat. As he’d kept his boxers on, Kevin made straight for the door, a happy welcoming smile plastered on his face. Once the door was open, however, his expression fell. “What you doing still not dressed at this time?” Peter asked, scanning Kevin’s body.

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“Uh, I uh slept in.” “So I can see.” Sighing, and with hands on hips, Peter continued, “Have you forgotten we were going to go down town to do some last-minute Christmas shopping?” Kevin had forgotten all about it. “Sorry. You best come in.” “And what the bloody hell have you got round your neck?” Peter asked, advancing into the room, a quiet but perpetually smiling Terry following along behind. Kevin reached up to feel the reassuring presence of his dog collar. “It’s, um…” He blushed. “Joey gave it to me.” “I know he calls you pup, but that’s going too far don’t you think?” “Peter,” Terry said, a note of warning in his voice. “Well, isn’t it?” Peter rounded on Terry. If you tried to put one of them on me, I’d…” “In your case I think a muzzle would be more appropriate,” Terry observed dryly. Kevin laughed, but soon stopped when Peter glowered at him. Determined to change the subject, Kevin asked Terry, “You all ready for Christmas?” “Almost. I’m really looking forward to it this year. Pete said he’s got me a surprise but he won’t give me any clues.” “That’s because it wouldn’t be a surprise if you knew what it was, dim-wit.” Kevin hated how Peter often seemed to be putting his boyfriend down. “Take no notice. I know he loves you.” Kevin and Terry shared one of their special bear hugs. Peter wasn’t a particularly demonstrative person, but Kevin knew Terry was like him, so he always tried to be as tactile with him as he could. “You gonna get dressed? It’ll be heaving out there before we know it,” Peter said, tapping his foot. “Um, actually it’d probably be best if I stay in. I’m waiting to hear from Joey. I thought I’d have heard from him last night, but…” Kevin felt his emotions beginning to well up. “Oh, mate.” Terry re-engaged their hug.

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Kevin looked at the concerned faces of his friends and decided he might as well tell them of Joey’s intention to come out to his family, and how Kevin hadn’t seen anything of the man since the previous afternoon. “Why don’t you just give him a ring?” Peter asked. Kevin shook his head. “I can’t. I’m scared.” “Jesus, it’s Cal all over again.” Peter began pacing the room, wringing his hands. “No it isn’t. Joey’s really kind and loving. He’s nothing like Cal.” “But you’re afraid of him, afraid to ring him up,” Terry said softly. “I know. I’m such a wimp. I’m scared that he’s changed his mind, that he doesn’t want me, and…” “That’s silly. You don’t really believe that, I know you don’t,” Terry continued in his low, soothing voice. “Yeah, you’re right,” Kevin sniffed. “I know he loves me. He’s told me and shown me loads of times.” “There you are then.” Terry smiled. “But I still can’t ring him up. I just…” Kevin swallowed, “I just can’t.” “That’s all right, love. You do what you need to do.” Peter rolled his eyes. “The best thing for you is some retail therapy. You need to get out and spend some money.” “I don’t know. What if Joey calls or comes round?” “Then he’ll just have to call again or come back when you’re in. He doesn’t own you, he can’t keep you on a lead,” Peter said, eyeing Kevin’s collar. “I don’t know.” “Peter’s right, love.” Terry laid a huge hand on Kevin’s shoulder. “It won’t do you any good, staying in and staring at the walls. Besides, haven’t you got any more gifts you need to buy for that man of yours?” For the first time since they’d arrived, Kevin smiled. “I’ve seen this really chunky-knit sweater that’ll look great on him.” Sighing, he continued, “It’s all nice and soft, it’ll be great to cuddle up to him when he wears it.”

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“Oh, brother!” Peter said, rolling his eyes again. **** Kevin stood at his window, looking out at the darkening streets. It was Sunday evening, he hadn’t heard from his sir in over forty-eight hours. It was obvious now something had happened to cause Joey to change his mind about them setting up house together. Kevin, if he were honest, couldn’t blame Joey for his change of heart. He can do much better than me. Hearing an ambulance siren screaming away in the distance, reminded Kevin of one of the other thoughts that had been plaguing him, the one where Joey had been injured…or worse. Staring down at the shiny, rain-drenched rooftops, Kevin tried to see where the ambulance was going, but was unable to locate its whereabouts. Pulling the thin curtain across the window, Kevin turned back to the room and looked at the small Christmas tree that Joey had insisted on buying. He’d told Kevin how he couldn’t have a tree at home because he’d never hear the end of it from his mother. Despite Kevin’s protests, Joey had put his foot down and insisted on paying for the tree, its trimmings, as well as a set of white fairy lights. The two of them had had a fun evening the previous week decorating the thing. Once the tiny angel had been situated at the top of the 4-foot tree—a duty Joey insisted Kevin perform—Joey had pulled out a small flat box wrapped in Christmas paper from his coat pocket and laid it under the tree. Picking up the box, Kevin—for the hundredth time that weekend—read the tag. “To my special pup on our first Christmas together.” Pressing the shiny red-wrapped box to his chest, Kevin looked down at all the other gifts that lay around the tree. He’d delighted in watching as his big strong sir regressed into a little kid as he excitedly counted the boxes each time he’d come round, reading the labels on anything new that had shown up. Whenever he realised the new gift was for him, his face would light up. Kevin had bought more presents just to see that look on his sir’s face.

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Hearing a knock at the door, Kevin’s heart fluttered, but he’d been disappointed too many times already that weekend when whoever had knocked or telephoned had turned out not to be Joey, that Kevin soon composed himself. Putting the gift back under the tree, giving it pride of place at the front, Kevin walked to his door and opened it. Kevin’s heart leapt for joy when he saw Joey standing in the hallway. His sir had come for him, he hadn’t abandoned him, and he wasn’t lying in a hospital bed after being run over. Kevin’s spirits soon began to fall, however, when he looked closer at Joey’s face. The normally bright piercing green eyes were dull, lifeless, sunken. The dark circles and heavy bags told Kevin his sir hadn’t slept much during their separation. Joey didn’t look as though he’d shaved either. “Um, can I come in for a minute?” Kevin realised he’d been standing in the doorway staring at Joey, blocking his admittance. Kevin was disturbed by Joey’s quiet, almost defeated tone of voice. He moved aside and watched as Joey shuffled across the threshold. The man moved with slow deliberate steps, all the while keeping his head bowed. He walked to the centre of the room, looking at everything apart from Kevin. Shifting uncomfortably at the continued silence, Kevin said, in a voice quavering with fear, “Sir?” Joey seemed to wince at the word. “I…” Joey briefly looked over at Kevin, his hollow and lifeless eyes sending an icy pang of fear straight to Kevin’s heart. “I’ve got something I have to tell you.” Kevin knew what Joey was about to say. To his surprise a detached, numb calmness began to wash over him. Hadn’t he prepared himself for this all weekend? In some ways he’d been expecting the axe to fall ever since they’d met. He’d always kept a tiny piece of his heart in reserve just for such an eventuality. Kevin knew it was this that was preventing him from breaking down into a blubbering uncoordinated mass of misery. “We can’t…” Joey’s voice cracked. He paused to clear his throat. “I mean…I’m sorry, but we can’t be together.” He blinked rapidly.

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Kevin was frozen in place. “You see,” Joey continued, “it’s our Simon. Carole’s emigrating to Israel and the family want me to have him, and I can’t do that if I have a boyfriend. Mum wouldn’t, she…” Joey’s emotions prevented him from continuing. Kevin managed to remain icily calm, despite his world collapsing around him. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on just keeping it together for a few more minutes. “You have to understand…It was a horrible decision to have to make…This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done…It’s not that I don’t love you…I love you with everything I’ve got…I’ll always love you. I’m sorry…” Kevin blocked out the rest of Joey’s words. He just wanted him to leave, to go and never come back. Reaching for his collar, Kevin loosened the buckle. He’d never taken it off before, apart from when he showered. “No, please, Pup, no. Please keep it. Please!” Kevin turned his dispassionate eyes to Joey, who looked close to collapse. Somewhere deep inside of himself, Kevin felt sorry for the man, but he had to keep up his walls to protect himself. Kevin pressed the folded strip of leather in Joey’s hand, closing the man’s fingers around it. “It doesn’t mean anything anymore.” “No, Pup, please.” Joey held the collar out to him. Maintaining his flat monotone, Kevin carefully enunciated, “But I’m not your pup anymore.” Joey lowered his arm and looked down at the collar in his hand. “I’m sorry, so sorry.” “Please go. I…” Kevin felt his façade cracking. “I…” “Please, Joey, just go.” Giving Kevin one last, long look, filled with helpless, heartrending sorrow, Joey averted his eyes, turned away and made for the door. Kevin wanted to watch him leave, but knew it would be too painful. Reaching for the edge of the table, Kevin leant against it. Keep it together, just for another minute, he told himself.

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It seemed an eternity before the door opened, then closed, the noise of the lock clicking into place sounding like a gunshot in the otherwise silent room. Kevin’s knees gave way, his iron grip on the table insufficient to hold him up. Like a puppet with its strings cut, he slumped to the floor, pulling the tablecloth, the brightly lit Christmas tree and all the presents along with him. The crushing agony of loss overwhelmed him. Embracing the pain, Kevin prayed it would carry him into the depths of blessed dark oblivion.

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Chapter 16 Time ceased to have meaning for Kevin as he lay on his side, curled up against the wall, the Christmas tree pressed to his chest, the presents strewn around him. His anchor, his reason for living had left him. Abandoned him. Thrown him away. The once familiar spectres of insecurity, worthlessness and helplessness returned, haunting and crowding in on him. Gradually becoming more aware of his surroundings, Kevin realised he was shivering; the room had become perishing cold. Reaching up to rub his eyes, Kevin’s fingertips brushed against the many dried tear tracks on his cheeks. Beneath his closed lids, his eyes felt red and inflamed; he didn’t think he’d ever cried as hard, as much or for as long. Not really wanting to move, but deciding it probably would be best if he got away from the drafty window, Kevin opened his eyes and was momentarily dazed by the brightness from the overhead light. He tried to get to his feet to switch it off, but his legs refused to take his weight, causing him to collapse back to the floor. On hands and knees he moved across the room, his limbs cramping due to their long period of inactivity. Once the main light had been extinguished, the only source of illumination came from the overturned Christmas tree. Staring at it, Kevin couldn’t help thinking that the fallen tree was somehow symbolic. What a stupid fool he’d been to believe that someone like him could ever have been granted the privilege of celebrating Christmas with a special someone. How could he have been so stupid to think his fucked-up life would ever change? Suddenly finding his legs worked, he marched across the room and yanked the electric flex to the fairy lights out of the wall socket, plunging the room into total darkness. Pulling the window open, the sash complaining as it jolted its way upwards, Kevin hurled the tree into the night, watching the long strands of tinsel unfurl from the branches as the tree fell towards the flag-stoned courtyard. Kevin’s anger remained unsatisfied. Pulling his head back inside, he groped around in the darkness for the pile of presents. Finding one, not caring who the intended recipient was, he flung

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it through the window to join the tree. He felt a small surge of satisfaction, a perverse pleasure in doing something unconventional, something that contradicted his usual nature. Finding another gift, Kevin dispatched it, too. He needed to expunge all traces of festive cheer from his room. Christmas would not be happening that year. Kevin’s rush of adrenaline faded once the last of the gifts had been disposed of, leaving him drained and listless. Attempting to close the window against the frigid wind, Kevin cursed when the sash caught and refused to budge. Using the remainder of his dwindling strength, he tried to force the window closed. The recalcitrant frame gave out a final agonised squeak before crashing down, almost trapping his fingers. The impact resulted in the lower pane of glass cracking, but Kevin didn’t care. Shivering violently, Kevin blew on his fingers in an effort to restore feeling. Groping his way towards the gas fire, he fumbled with the matchbox, trying to hold one of the small slivers of wood in his trembling fingers. After dropping several on the rug, he finally got a hold of one and struck it, the orange-yellow flame seeming especially bright in the dark room. Turning the control on the top of the fire, Kevin bent to apply the match. To his consternation the fire didn’t light. Blowing out the match, he tried to work out what was wrong. It took his brain a couple of moments to note that the familiar hiss of gas was absent. Checking that the control was indeed open, Kevin cursed, realising the credit on his gas meter must have run out. Throwing the box of matches to the floor in frustration, Kevin marched towards his bed and flung himself on top of the covers. Despite his best efforts, sleep evaded him. He was repeatedly visited by images of the times he and Joey had spent together. Though Kevin had admired Joey from afar for many months, he’d never had the courage to speak with him about anything other than work-related matters. But then there was that evening in the car park when Joey had helped him up, carried him, taken him home and looked after him. Kevin didn’t want to remember, but was helpless to stop his mental film show. Right from the start Joey had used his strength to protect

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rather than hurt, an enormous contrast to Cal. Kevin knew it was this above all else which made Joey completely irresistible. Kevin was fully aware how weak and needful he was, but Joey was always more than willing to be strong. Rolling himself in the bedclothes, knowing they were a poor substitute for Joey’s arms, Kevin sat in the bed, steadily rocking himself backwards and forwards. A long wounded howl of total anguish rose from the core of his being and spilled from his lips, interrupted only by Kevin repeatedly whispering, “I wasn’t good enough.” Kevin knew he’d reached rock bottom. He had relied upon Joey’s strength, Joey’s physical presence, Joey’s love, too much. Without these things, Kevin knew he wouldn’t be able to survive. It was just too painful, too lonely, too empty. Sliding off the mattress, the quilt firmly wrapped round his body, Kevin groped in the icy darkness towards his kitchen, debating which method of suicide would be quickest and most effective. He soon rejected the idea of slitting his wrists; he didn’t think he had the courage. Also, he knew such an act would make a lot of mess, and he hated the thought of someone having to clean it up. Remembering he had a bottle of painkillers on the top of the tall cupboard, Kevin pulled over his stool and climbed up. With relief, his fingers closed around the rectangular plastic bottle. Giving the container a shake, Kevin heard a satisfyingly heavy sound. The bottle was almost full. Stepping off the stool, Kevin shuffled over to his armchair and sat down, pulling the covers tightly around him. Now he’d found his solution, Kevin felt better. Could he actually go through with it? Though he’d previously contemplated suicide, he’d never actually gone this far. But then you’ve never felt this bad before, his inner voice told him. His eyes now accustomed to the darkness, Kevin cast his gaze around the small room, looking even shabbier in the weak moonlight. He wouldn’t be sorry to see the back of it. He’d been stupid to think he could escape the grotty ill-kept room by going off to live some fairytale happy-ever-after existence with his sir. Real

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life didn’t have such storybook endings, not for the likes of him. The calmness of earlier in the evening began to settle over him again. It’s odd, I thought I’d be a blubbering mess if it ever came to this, he mused. Kevin considered writing a note, but what could he say? I failed. Sorry I couldn’t do better? Sliding the bottle of pills from under the blanket, Kevin looked dispassionately at the label. He’d been given the pills after one of Cal’s beatings. He’d told the bearded doctor he’d fallen down the stairs. It was the truth. The numerous bruises along his trunk had been caused by the stair treads banging into him as he fell, only he omitted to mention that he’d been pushed. Kevin couldn’t remember why he hadn’t swallowed the bottle of pills back then. It would have saved all this if I had. Tipping the bottle’s contents into his palm, Kevin stared at the small white circles, knowing they’d soon take all the pain away. Realising he didn’t have anything to wash the tablets down with, Kevin carefully emptied the pills back into the bottle and went to get a glass of water. “Half empty, not half full,” he observed mirthlessly as he stared down at the glass. Returning to his chair, Kevin began to count out the pills, organising them in a line along the chair arm. As he worked, he couldn’t help thinking back upon some of the high points of his and Joey’s short time together. He’d had a bad dream that first night. Joey had rushed into the room and just held him, allowing him to cry on his shoulder. It was at that moment, with Joey silently giving of his strength, that Kevin’s sense of belonging, of safety and security had really begun. Joey’s embrace felt so safe, as if nothing could hurt him when those strong arms were wrapped round him. Returning to the present, Kevin sniffed and gathered the quilt more tightly about him. Ten, eleven, twelve. The line of tablets began to lengthen. The images of Kevin riding on the back of Joey’s motorcycle began to populate his mind’s eye. Whenever he’d ridden pillion, Joey would never go too fast or take a corner too sharply. He used to tell Kevin he always took extra care when his ‘precious pup’ was with him. Kevin pursed his lips at the

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remembered phrase. Twenty-one, twenty-two. The times they made love. And it was love, right from the start. Joey was big, much bigger than Cal. Their techniques were so different. Cal would stick it in and just thrust away. Joey was always gentle, always patient, always kind. He was considerate, passionate and loving. A tear rolled down Kevin’s cheek as he realised that he would never experience being made love to again. Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty. A quick shake of the bottle told Kevin there were still plenty of tablets left. How many would he need? He wasn’t sure. Fifty probably would suffice; it was a nice round number after all. Kevin was surprised at how dispassionately he was able to view what he was doing. He tried to examine why, but came to the conclusion it didn’t really matter. It just was as it was. Thirty-one, thirty-two. A deep warmth suffused Kevin’s veins when he recalled the day Joey asked him to be on top for the first time. Jesus, I never saw that one coming, he thought. Though he’d doubted he could fulfil the request, Kevin had concentrated on the overwhelming love he’d had for his man, and had found he could do it. Though he knew he had never wanted to be the dominant one in their relationship, he couldn’t deny the rush of protective emotions he’d felt while comforting Joey was incredibly heady. No wonder he enjoyed being the protector so much. However, when it came down to it, it hadn’t been enough. Joey had still abandoned him. Kevin found little comfort in Joey’s claim the previous evening that he still loved him. Thirty-six, thirty-seven. Raising his head to look out of the window, Kevin noticed the darkness was beginning to recede. He knew he couldn’t put things off any longer; the prospect of carrying his burden through another day was just too cruel to contemplate. Forty-two, forty-three. The sound of someone gently knocking on his door caused Kevin to lift his head to listen. For a split second he entertained the notion it was Joey come to tell him last night had been a

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mistake, and that he wanted him, he couldn’t live without him. Exhaling the breath he’d been inadvertently holding, Kevin shook his head, dismissing his thoughts as wishful thinking. Whoever was knocking would soon give up when they didn’t get an answer. The line of pills along the chair arm continued to lengthen. Kevin had almost reached his target. The visitor at the door persisted. Kevin remained resolute, however, in his decision not to answer. Go away. no-one’s here, he thought. “He’s probably left for work already.” Peter’s voice carried through the paper-thin plasterboard walls. “Doubt it. He’ll not be in any state to go to work if yesterday afternoon is anything to go by,” Terry replied. The knocking grew louder. “You’ll wake the whole floor,” Terry hissed. Kevin froze just before placing the penultimate pill on the chair arm. He was torn. He didn’t know if he wanted to face Peter and Terry, or would it be best if they just left him to get on with it? “You brought the key?” Pete asked. “Yeah, but…” “Give it here then,” Pete said, beginning to sound agitated. Kevin heard the scrape of the key as it slid into the keyhole. The decision over being saved or left to die had been taken out of his hands. Kevin remained in his seat, facing away from the door. He held his breath as he heard the lock click, followed by the squeak of the hinges as the door opened a crack. “Kev, you there?” Peter asked. A soft click, and the main light came on, followed by a further squeak of hinges. “You’re here, we thought…” The rest of Peter’s words were halted by his gasp of surprise. Kevin didn’t turn round. He couldn’t. “Oh my God!” Peter exclaimed. “Get out of the bloody way.” Kevin heard Terry pushing Peter aside before charging into the room, ripping the blankets from him, picking him up and shaking him violently. Kevin’s limp body rolled with the gyrations,

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his teeth rattling, his head lolling from side-to-side. “You fucking stupid little fool,” Terry yelled, continuing to shake Kevin’s unresisting form. “How the hell could you? How could you?” Terry’s shouts dissolved into sobs. He ceased his shaking and crushed Kevin to his chest. “Oh God, Kevin.” It took Kevin’s brain a few moments to work out what was going on. Once it did, Kevin, too, began to sob loudly. He clung to Terry, tearing at his outer clothing, desperately trying to climb inside him, seeking comfort, warmth and safety. “How many tablets have you taken?” Kevin heard Peter asking over the combined noise of his and Terry’s crying. Kevin shook his head in the negative, too upset to form words to reply. “It’s all right, love. It’s all right,” Terry said, sniffing back his tears. “You’re safe now, I’ve got you.” Eventually Kevin’s emotions settled down to an occasional snuffle. “Why?” Peter asked, looking concernedly at his friend. “I don’t have anything to live for.” “I take it that fucking bastard dumped you?” Peter’s face twisted in anger. Nodding, Kevin felt himself losing control again. “I knew he wasn’t right for you. Blokes like that, they’re no good…they just—” “Shut up!” Terry said. “He doesn’t need to hear this now.” Kevin started to wail, “I gave him everything, everything, but it wasn’t enough. It hurts, it just hurts so much.” “Shush,” Terry soothed. “Come on.” Peter said. “You’re coming home with us…we’ll try and get you in at the doctor’s later, maybe he can get you referred back to that psychiatrist.” Peter started to gather up the pills. “No,” Kevin said, sniffling. He didn’t know if he could face all that invasive questioning again. “You don’t have a choice, Kev,” Terry said, rubbing Kevin’s back. “I’ll be okay.” Secretly he hoped he’d be able to gather up

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enough courage for a second attempt. “Nope.” There was finality in Terry’s voice. “You’re not in any state to be left alone.” “I’m okay.” Kevin knew he didn’t sound convincing. Cupping Kevin’s face in his hands, Terry said, “You’re not, love. And can you honestly tell me that you wouldn’t try to top yourself again?” Kevin dropped his eyes. “No,” he whispered. “Right, I’ve packed a few things. Is there anything else you think you might need?” Kevin turned to face Peter, who was holding a small suitcase. He’d been too preoccupied to realise his friend had been tidying his room. “Don’t think so.” Kevin’s brain was full of mush; he couldn’t focus on making decisions. Fortunately such things were Peter’s forte. Kevin gave his friend a weak smile. “Thanks. I—” “Come here,” Peter pulled Kevin into a hug. Kevin was surprised. Peter wasn’t the hugging sort. “You’re my best friend. Though I don’t always show it, I love you so much, and you need your friends round you right now.” “Thanks.” Kevin couldn’t think of anything else to say. Placing a soft kiss to the top of Kevin’s head, Terry said, “And I love you, too. Now let’s get out of this place.” After helping Kevin dress, Terry wrapped one of his meaty arms around Kevin’s shoulders, and led the smaller man out of the room, down the stairs and towards their car. Terry gave the keys to Peter before climbing into the back seat with Kevin, leaning over him to fasten his seatbelt and spreading a travel rug over the two of them. As he was driven through the streets, the morning sun occasionally peeking between the gaps in the buildings, Kevin looked at his two friends. Maybe I can make it with their help. **** Joey was awoken early Saturday morning by someone pounding on his door and ringing his doorbell. Blearily, he made

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his way along the hallway, remembering at the last minute he was completely naked. “Hang on a minute!” he yelled before padding back to his bedroom for his dressing gown. His sister, wearing a sourer than usual expression greeted him when he unlocked the door. “I’ve been trying to telephone you for the last couple of hours!” she said pushing past him. “Huh?” Joey rubbed at his eyes, wondering what she wanted at such an early hour. When Joey had come home the previous night, he’d been met by the phone ringing off its cradle. He’d had a fair idea of who was calling. The instrument always managed to take on an added shrillness whenever his mother wanted to speak with him. Knowing he wouldn’t be able to listen to her disapproving words without yelling something he’d later regret, he’d decided to take the coward’s way out and unplugged the phone. “After your little display at mum and dad’s last night,” Carole said over her shoulder as she walked down his hall and entered his living room. “I had to take our Simon home. I got up a couple of hours ago to check on him.” “How touchingly maternal,” Joey responded to her retreating back. Carole spun on her heel and spat, “You’ve no bloody room to talk. After what you did to him yesterday.” Joey was angry, but he couldn’t deny the truth of his sister’s words. “So why are you here telling me this?” “Because when I went into Simon’s room, it was empty.” Joey froze. It took his sleepy, hung-over brain a couple of moments to process the information. “Have you contacted his friends to see if he’s with any of them?” “Those I know about, yes, but nobody has seen him.” “You don’t even know who half his friends are, do you?” he said, raising his voice, causing his headache to worsen. “Shut up.” “Is there any bloody wonder he doesn’t want to go to Israel with you,” Joey said just before Carole delivered a slap to his right cheek.

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Joey stared unblinkingly at his sister, seconds away from striking her. Summoning up the remainder of his self-restraint, he turned his back to Carole and walked into his bedroom, telling her he would get dressed. Once outside his building, Joey shivered. It was below freezing. A light sleety rain was falling, which added to the chill. Momentarily closing his eyes, Joey prayed Simon was holed up somewhere safe and warm. Turning to Carole, he asked, “Where have you looked?” “I called his friend Bobby’s house, I went round the park as well as the school grounds. I don’t know where he usually hangs out.” Joey opted not to make a sarcastic comment. “Does mum know he’s missing?” “Yes, and she blames you.” Oh fuck! Joey groaned to himself. “Okay. I’ll get the bike out and go and have a ride round.” Turning up the collar on his spare leather jacket he added, “I just hope he’s not out in this lot.” “I hope so, too,” They began to walk towards the garages. “I know I haven’t been the best of mothers. I suppose some women ought never to have kids, and…” “Yeah.” Joey bit back the rest of what he’d intended to say. It wasn’t the right time for recriminations. He put an arm around Carole’s shoulder and gave her a quick hug. He knew, deep down, she loved her son, but she wasn’t the type to ever show affection. This was borne out when she stiffened at his touch. Sliding the key into the lock on the garage door, Joey found to his surprise it was open. He’d come home in such an emotional state the previous night, he realised he must have forgotten to lock up. After pulling the metal door upwards, the creaking springs sounding loud in the otherwise still air, Joey walked into the garage’s interior, smelling faintly as it always did of motor-oil and metal polish. However, something didn’t feel right. He couldn’t put his finger on exactly what. Reaching to his right, he switched on his torch. Training the beam along the

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shelves, he saw everything was as it should be. Deciding he’d made a mistake, he was about to switch off the torch when his attention was drawn to something in the far corner. His heart beating faster, Joey made for the lump of rags and tore away the top couple of layers. “Simon!” Carole was instantly at his side. “Is it him, is he okay?” Joey touched his nephew’s reddened cheek, it felt unnaturally cold. Simon’s head moved, his eyes opened and looked directly up into Joey’s face, squinting at the intense light from the torch. Joey was filled with guilt. It was his fault the lad had run away, had almost died of exposure. It was his fault, his fault! Dropping the torch, Joey scooped Simon up from the dirty concrete floor and hugged him fiercely. As he ran from the garages back towards the lighted foyer of his block of flats, he felt Simon’s small body shivering. “It’s all right, I’ve got you. You’re safe now.” “I’m sorry for running away, Uncle Joey. I didn’t wanna…” His words were difficult to understand due to his chattering teeth. “It’s okay, love. I promise it’ll all be okay.” “You had me worried. What the hell did you think you were doing running away like that? I’ve been traipsing all over the bloody place looking for you!” Carole panted, trying to keep up with her brother as he carried Simon up the stairs. What kind of a fucking mother is she? How the hell can she be mad at him? Joey thought as he turned round to glower at Carole, her sour expression back in full force. If Joey’s arms hadn’t been full, he’d have slapped that look right off of her face. Instead he barked, “Just shut the hell up, I don’t want to hear it!” Joey knew most of his anger was caused by guilt. The last thing he could cope with was hearing Carole’s irritating squawks. Pushing open the door to his flat, Joey headed straight for the bathroom, intent on giving Simon a lukewarm bath. As he stripped the boy’s clothing and lowered him into the water, Joey knew he would kill, move heaven and earth, to make sure his nephew always remained safe. Simon would never feel frightened, alone or abandoned ever again. The eight-year-old

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was the closest thing Joey would ever get to having a son of his own. Looking down into the scared but still trusting eyes of the vulnerable boy, Joey realised he’d made a decision. He would have to put Simon’s needs before Kevin’s. He would have to choose Simon over Kevin. A shot of ice water ran through his veins. The thought of abandoning his lover made Joey ill, but he didn’t think he had any other choice. **** Waking to knocking and doorbell ringing on Monday morning, Joey’s hung-over brain was alert enough to register a sense of déjà vu. As he padded barefoot down the hallway, tying his dressing gown around his waist, Joey wondered who wanted him this time. He hoped it wasn’t his mother, he doubted he could face her yet, even though he was certain she’d have been told by Carole that he’d agreed to take Simon. Opening the door, Joey was met by a fist slamming into his nose, the force of the blow sending him to the carpet. Lifting a hand to his nose, Joey felt a growing pool of warm sticky liquid spreading across his face. “You fucking bastard!” Joey looked up at his attacker, who appeared to be almost as wide as the doorframe. Stunned, it took him a few seconds to work out the man’s identity. “Terry.” “Yeah,” The man said, massaging his bruised knuckle. “I thought you ought to know where I’ve just been.” “Uh?” Joey wondered if the dim-witted moron had flipped his lid. “Peter and me had to take Kev to the doctor’s, ’cause he tried to top himself.” Joey, who had started to get to his feet in order to retaliate, slumped back to the carpet and stared in openmouthed horror up at Terry. “Is he…” Joey couldn’t finish the question. Kevin, his little lover, the man who meant more to him

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than… Joey winced when he realised he’d disproved that thought by choosing Simon instead of him. “He’s okay, no thanks to you. We got there before he’d swallowed any of the pills.” “Thank God,” Joey whispered. His thoughts galloped. How could he have wanted to kill himself? Then he remembered what life had been like for Kevin before he’d come along. How needful Kevin was, how unable he was to stand up for himself. Joey thought he’d done a good job of building Kevin up, making him stronger, more self-reliant. Obviously he hadn’t been as successful as he’d hoped. “But he seemed okay, well, not okay but… he didn’t burst out crying or anything,” Joey said, getting up, only to have Terry push him back down. “He told Peter and me that he managed to hold it together while you were there, but he lost it once you left.” Terry’s expression hardened, Joey thought he was going to thump him again. “Kev gave you everything he had. And you took it. Hell, you even made him call you ‘sir,’ that’s so fucking sick! ’Cause let me tell you, mate, you’re not fucking worthy of even licking Kev’s boots.” “I…” Joey tried to deny it, but Terry was right. “Kev’s gonna come and live with us. We love him and we’re not ashamed to let anybody know it. You’ve really done a fucking number on him. It took us hours to talk him down. He blames himself, you know?” Joey looked up. “He thinks you tossed him away because he wasn’t good enough, he says he never deserved to have someone like you love him. I was so fucking mad when he said that, I’d have fucking ripped your fucking head off if you’d have been there. You’re the one what’s no good, it’s you who don’t deserve someone like Kev.” Terry’s words hurt far greater than any physical blows ever could. “I’m sorry. Please, please tell him I’m sorry. I…Tell him I love him.” How could he have destroyed such a beautiful, gentle, loving person? Joey shivered as the full impact of what he’d done

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began to dawn on him. It was his fault. He’d almost killed Kevin. “God, you’re fucking pathetic!” Terry hawked up a mouthful of saliva and spat it into Joey’s face. “You stay the fuck away from him, even at work. Otherwise I’ll give you far more than a fucking bloody nose. You’re out of his life, shit-head, he’s got no use for a fucking lowlife like you.” “No, please!” Joey opened his eyes, but made no attempt to wipe away Terry’s spittle. “I do love him.” “Yeah, right. You chucking him away when the going got tough sure sounds like love to me.” Bending down and staring menacingly into Joey’s face, Terry spoke slowly but deliberately. “Just stay the fuck away from him from now on.” Joey could only nod weakly. If he had to keep his distance to stop Kevin from hurting, then that’s what he’d have to do. **** The nights were definitely the worst. Lying in his bed, unable to sleep, Joey would replay all that had happened, desperately wishing he could turn back the clock and do things differently. Why the hell hadn’t he done the right thing? He was meant to be Kevin’s rock, his protector, the one whom Kevin was supposed to be able to rely on. And what had he done when the first real test of their relationship had come along? Terry had been right. He’d fucking done a runner, taken the easy way out. Why the hell hadn’t he had the courage to stand up to his mother? If he’d have only told her that, yes, of course, he’d look after Simon, nothing would give him greater pleasure, but she would have to realise her only son was gay, a feygele, and was in love with the sweetest, kindest little bloke in the world. Joey would hug his pillow, a lousy substitute for Kevin’s smooth and warm body. Every time he closed his eyes, he would be visited by images of the vacant and resigned look on Kevin’s face when he was told they couldn’t remain together. Never did Joey think Kevin would attempt to kill himself because of the news. Joey fared little better during daylight hours. The run up to Christmas was always frantic in the haulage industry. Customers

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couldn’t seem to get enough stock to keep the voracious Christmas shoppers satisfied. Joey took as much overtime as the rules would allow. While ever he was behind the wheel, he was able to push his troubles to the back of his mind. What little free time remained, Joey spent decorating and refurbishing the spare room in preparation for Simon’s arrival. When Simon had been told of his uncle’s change of heart, the boy had jumped for joy. His rejoicing had at least proven he hadn’t suffered any lasting effects from being out of doors for those few hours. Simon had begged to be allowed to move in straight away. Joey managed to put his nephew off by telling him he needed a few days to get his new room ready. “I don’t mind, Uncle Joey, I could help you.” “No, Champ, you’ve got to spend time with your mum while she’s still in the country.” “Suppose so,” Simon had sulked. Joey couldn’t blame the lad for wanting to get as far away from his mother as possible. “Tell you what,” Joey had said, feeling he had to offer the youngster some hope, “Monday evening we’ll go down to the DIY superstore and you can pick out what wallpaper you want, as well as a desk and chair. And if you’re really good we could go and get you a small telly and DVD player for the room as well.” “Awesome!” Simon had jumped onto Joey’s lap and hugged him fiercely. Simon had been the only bright spot. His youthful enthusiasm and sunny disposition helped to lift Joey’s spirits. Whenever he was around Simon, Joey was forced to put on a happy face. However, Simon still picked up on Joey’s mood. As the two were pouring over paint colour charts in the DIY store, Simon said, “What’s wrong, Uncle Joey, don’t you want me to come live with you?” Joey turned to look at the fearful expression on his nephew’s face. Hunkering down, he began to speak earnestly to the troubled boy. “Simon, I know I did wrong when I ran out of grandma’s house the other night. I know that really hurt you.”

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Simon nodded. “I ran off ’cause I was mad with grandma for not telling me about you coming to live with me before announcing it as a done deal. But you have to know that I would never,” Joey stared right into Simon’s green eyes, which brimmed with unshed tears, “ever, do anything to hurt you. I’m so fucking…um, I mean—” Simon giggled. “I’m really, really happy that you want to come and live with me.” “Thanks, Uncle Joey, it’s just that you’ve seemed a bit sad lately.” “Yeah, mate.” Joey tried not to think of Kevin. “But it’s not because of you, honest. Us two men are gonna set up house together and be the best of friends.” Simon’s grin lit up the whole store. He wrapped his arms around Joey’s neck and hugged him tightly. “I love you so much, Uncle Joey.” “I love you more.” Joey returned the hug. He didn’t care that they were in the middle of the paint aisle. This was an important bonding moment between uncle and nephew, and he didn’t give a shit who saw it or what they made of it. Joey knew he’d royally fucked things up with Kevin, he was absolutely determined to be the best possible uncle/parent to Simon. **** Attempting to forget the plans he and Kevin had made to mark the festive season, Joey went out and bought Simon several gifts, spending way too much. He reasoned his extravagance was partially fuelled by his need to salve his guilty conscience over having hurt the lad by his earlier rejection. Joey also got a perverse pleasure from knowing giving his nephew a load of gifts would piss off his mother and sister. Being Jewish, Simon wasn’t supposed to get any presents on Christmas Day. Screw that! Joey thought as he inexpertly finished wrapping another electronic game and putting it beneath their new Christmas tree.

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**** With an unwelcome inevitability, Christmas day finally arrived. Joey pulled himself out of bed after yet another fitful night’s sleep. He couldn’t put his finger on exactly when it had happened, but at some time during the night his guilt had turned to anger. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he was the whole bloody mess could be laid at his mother’s door. If she hadn’t interfered and stuck her nose in all the time, he wouldn’t have had to abandon his lover. The self-righteous old bag would have to see the damage she’d done. Joey became increasingly convinced he had to go round and have it out with her. He’d tell her that her precious son was a fruit, a fairy, a shirt lifter. If she cast him out, then so be it, but there was no fucking way he was going to compromise on Simon. He was having him, and she could scream blue bloody murder for all he cared. He was no paedophile. Throwing the quilt aside, Joey felt reenergised. He absolutely refused to live in fear any more. He was a man—a proud man—and he would live his life as he wanted, and not try and fit into some warped stereotype of a good Jewish boy. Ma, watch out ’cause the worm is about to turn! Padding into the bathroom to drain his bladder, Joey stared down at his penis and realised the only way he’d be able to satisfy his sexual needs from then on would be to return to his old habits of seeking out anonymous and loveless sex. During a run over to Manchester earlier that week, he’d stopped off for a pee at a service station just off the motorway. That particular toilet block enjoyed a reputation amongst his fellow truck-drivers as a place where you could get a hand or blowjob. Entering the handicapped cubicle, Joey had glanced at the thin, pale looking youth who barely seemed to have reached his eighteenth birthday. “Haven’t seen you in here before,” the guy had observed, raking his eyes over Joey’s body. Joey had looked at the guy’s face. Noticing he had the same chocolate brown eyes as Kevin had set something off inside him. Approaching the guy, Joey had started to put his

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arms around him. Joey hadn’t hugged another man since Kevin, and he desperately missed the contact. “Hey! I ain’t into all that lovey-dovey shit,” the youth had said, pulling away. “Sorry, I just wanted to…” “Not with me, mate. I’ll give ya a blowjob if ya like, but I don’t do no hugging and kissing.” Unsatisfied both emotionally and sexually, Joey had slunk away from the toilet stall. Joey had given serious consideration to trying to win Kevin back, but did he have the right? He knew he’d be perfectly prepared to crawl on his hands and knees if necessary. But to Kevin such behaviour would be too reminiscent of that bastard, Cal. Each time Briggs had dished out a beating, Kevin had told Joey he’d offer an abject apology, assuring Kevin he’d never do it again. “And like a fool you always believed him, and went back to him,” Joey said, looking at his haggard appearance in the bathroom mirror. Though he knew he’d have to offer Kevin an apology as well as an explanation for his stupid and cowardly behaviour, no way could Joey put Kevin under any pressure to take him back. Joey knew he had a forceful personality, and it would be plain wrong to use that to woo Kevin back to him. “Fucking hell!” Joey punched the wall, leaving a fist sized impression in the plasterboard. Returning to his bedroom, Joey sat on the side of the bed and pulled on a pair of socks. He’d really fucked his life up, and he only had himself to blame. Well, his mother had to bear part, if not most, of the responsibility, too. “And I’m gonna let her know how fucking much her meddling has cost me,” Joey said, snatching up the keys to his bike and leaving his flat before he could change his mind. Instead of a white Christmas, the weather had gifted them with a grey, frigidly cold and blustery day. Exhausted from lack of sleep, Joey rode his bike along the almost empty streets. The only things on his mind were to

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have it out once and for all with his mother, then it would be over to Carole’s to pick up Simon and take him home so they could celebrate a happy Christian Christmas. Well, maybe a capitalist one, he thought. His mind occupied with restitution and recrimination, Joey failed to see the traffic light at the approaching junction turn red. Something appeared at the periphery of his vision. It was a car coming towards him. It wasn’t stopping. His attempts to swerve round the vehicle resulted in the bike losing its purchase and going into a skid. Time slowed, Joey felt, rather than heard, the impact. He was catapulted sideways. He was flying. Then came pain, terrible bone crunching pain. His vision clouded red, before mercifully fading to black.

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Chapter 17 “It’s okay, I’ll do it.” Kevin got to his feet and headed for the kitchen. Leaning against the closed door, he let out a sigh. Though Kevin loved Peter and Terry to pieces, staying at their house for the past couple of weeks was beginning to grate on his nerves. He felt smothered, closed in, constantly watched. As he filled the kettle and plugged it in, Kevin gave serious thought to moving back to his place. Even though he still suffered from bad dreams most nights, he felt he was strong enough to deal with them on his own. His nightmares usually consisted of an angry Joey towering over him, telling him he was useless, pathetic and weak, and no wonder he didn’t want to be with him any more. Kevin shivered and immediately felt a pair of arms wrap round him from behind. Turning, he came face to chest with Terry. “You okay?” Terry asked in that unflappable calm manner of his. Kevin stifled a groan. “You and Peter have been great, but you’re smothering me.” Terry let go his hug. “I wasn’t holding you that tight.” He looked hurt. “No, love, that’s not what I meant.” Kevin rested against the worktop and looked at his friend, trying to find the right words. “You came in here to check up on me, didn’t you? You didn’t trust me not to head straight for the knife drawer and slit my wrists.” “No, of course not!” Terry said, unable to meet Kevin’s gaze. “Terry.” Kevin put a hand on his friend’s arm. “I’m not made of glass. You and Peter don’t have to wrap me up in cotton wool all the time, I’m not gonna break.” Kevin paused when the phone started to ring. It soon stopped. Presumably Peter had got it. “I’m sorry. It’s just me and Peter have been so worried about you. You’ve not been sleeping, you’re always looking really sad, and of course that’s natural, um, because it’s been Christmas and all that, but—”

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Kevin interrupted. “You two have been saints. I’ve really needed to lean on the pair of you, but now…” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Me being here, it’s great, but it won’t work, not in the long run. I need my space, and you know what they say about two’s company and all that.” It had been hard on Kevin to see the couple enjoying the holiday when he didn’t have anyone to share the celebrations with. “No, Kev, don’t say that! I know you’ll need to go back to your place sometime, but it’s still too soon. Heck, it’s been less than two weeks since…” “You can say it. Since I tried to off myself.” Terry winced. “I don’t think you’re ready to go it alone, not just yet.” “But I’ll never be ready if I stay here with you two watching every move I make, constantly asking me if I’m okay.” “It’s ’cause we love you.” “I know,” Kevin placated, “And I love you both, too. More than you could ever know. But I need to start standing on my own two feet again. I need to rebuild my life as a single man.” Kevin shuddered. The thought of being alone was so painful. “Kev, your boss is on the phone,” Peter said, sticking his head round the kitchen door. “I told him you were on holiday until Monday, but he said it was important.” Kevin was grateful for the interruption. The conversation with Terry had been building for some time. He wasn’t sure getting his concerns off his chest had improved things. Kevin hoped he hadn’t made matters worse. Picking up the receiver, Kevin said, “Hello?” “Ah, good, you’re in, wasn’t sure if you’d be at the hospital,” Mr Parker spoke rapidly, sounding stressed, or at least more stressed than usual. “Uh?” He didn’t understand. “I can’t get the bloody computer to take my password. Stupid thing ought to understand basic commands.” The office had been computerised a few years earlier, but old Parker never seemed to get the hang of modern technology. “I have to get these schedules sorted out. ’Course I

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wouldn’t have to do none of this if that dozy pillock hadn’t decided to go head-to-head with that car.” “Sorry, Mr Parker, I’m not with you.” Kevin scratched at his right eyebrow in confusion. “What?” “Who are you talking about? Whose had an accident?” “Eh? Your um, special friend, Joey, of course.” Kevin felt an icy chill wash over him. He began to tremble, his legs feeling as though they’d give way at any second. “You still there? Kevin!” Mr Parker’s voice rose in volume, but Kevin couldn’t speak. He was numb. His sir was hurt, lying in a hospital bed. Kevin felt someone take the phone from his unresisting fingers, while someone else wrapped their arms around him. Through the maelstrom of swirling emotions Kevin heard somebody saying something into the phone before replacing it on the cradle. Kevin was then led to the settee in the front room and made to sit down. Two pairs of arms held him as he sat rigid, his mind unable to comprehend what he’d been told. Kevin’s shivers increased. He felt cold despite the roaring log fire a few feet in front of him. “Here, drink this.” Someone, probably Terry, wrapped Kevin’s fingers around a warm mug. Kevin mechanically brought the vessel to his lips and took a sip. The hot liquid tasted foul, Kevin made to spit it out. “Drink it,” the voice, definitely belonging to Terry, said. “I’ve put three sugars in it, as well as a slug of rum.” “It’s horrible!” Kevin tried to push the mug away, but strong hands kept it close by. “I don’t care. You’ve had a shock, so get it down you,” Peter said. Not having the will to argue, Kevin forced himself to take another sip. He felt the tea warming his insides as it went down, but it still tasted vile. After consuming half the mug’s contents, Kevin felt slightly less jittery. “Did Mr Parker say what had happened to Joey?”

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“No, not really. And I don’t know why you’re so cut up about it anyway. He’s out of your life,” Peter said, taking the mug from Kevin’s hands, which refused to stop shaking. “I…” Kevin closed his eyes. “I still care about what happens to him.” Peter sighed. “Jesus! Why doesn’t that surprise me?” “When I was waiting for him that weekend, the one before he…” Kevin screwed his eyes more tightly shut, “before he broke up with me, I imagined him lying injured in a hospital bed.” “You got your wish then, didn’t you?” Peter’s words caused Kevin to snap open his eyes and stare at him. “No. I’d never wish that on anyone.” “Calm down, love.” Terry put a hand on Kevin’s arm. Turning to Terry, Kevin asked, “Will you take me to the hospital?” “Oh for God’s sake!” Peter said. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Kev.” Terry was at least trying to understand. “I have to go and see him.” “Despite everything that bastard did to you, you still want to chase after him?” Peter’s words dripped with scorn. Kevin felt hot tears stinging his eyes. “I just have to see for myself that he’s all right. I know I won’t ever be his again, but…” The tears welled over his lower lids and trickled down his cheeks. “It’s okay, I’ll take you,” Terry said, rubbing Kevin’s back. Leaning into his friend, Kevin gave him a hug. **** As he was being driven to the hospital, Kevin’s mind whirled with scenarios as to what he would find when he got there. Part of him didn’t want to arrive. Joey had hurt him badly; he didn’t think he could ever trust him or anyone ever again with his heart. Another thought warred within Kevin’s head, and wouldn’t be silenced. Joey was the only true love of his life, and Kevin hated the thought he’d been injured. That above all else prevented Kevin from asking Terry to turn the car around.

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It didn’t take very long to locate which ward Joey was in. Asking Terry to remain in the small waiting room—not wanting to witness a scene between his friend and his former lover—Kevin peeked round the open door of the side ward where Joey lay. Kevin had to stifle a gasp. The once strong, seemingly invincible man he’d loved looked helpless and vulnerable. Joey’s left leg was encased in plaster and rested on a large pillow. His left arm was in a sling, and a slightly soiled dressing was taped to his right cheek. Kevin was torn. Part of him wanted to run. He felt a deep ache in his chest at seeing the man who had rejected him. Another part wanted to rush to the bed and fall on his knees. Joey’s head turned, a pair of dull, lifeless green eyes fixing themselves on Kevin. “Hello, Pup.” The voice sounded scratchy, devoid of its usual rich timbre. Kevin’s need to flee increased, but his legs refused to cooperate. “I…” Kevin cleared his throat and tried again. “How are you?” “I’ve been better.” Joey closed his eyes. “Sorry.” Kevin couldn’t think of anything else to say. “Kevin, I…” Joey’s eyes opened, revealing a deeper shade of green. Kevin remained frozen in the doorway. “I’m sorry…sorry for hurting you.” Kevin let out a breath. “Are you okay now? I mean. Well. You know.” “I’m taking it one day at a time. It isn’t easy, but…” “I’m sorry.” The need to comfort his friend had almost won out against his need to flee, when Kevin heard a set of heels clacking their way down the corridor. Kevin turned to see Joey’s mother approaching. Joey had always been uncomfortable whenever Kevin’s and his mother’s paths had crossed. Using her arrival as an excuse to leave, Kevin decided to exit the scene. He’d satisfied himself Joey was all right, or at least as all right as the situation would allow.

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In his eagerness to escape, Kevin bumped into Mrs Goldman. After offering his apologies, he ran for the safety of the waiting room and Terry. He wished he’d not come now, it was too painful seeing Joey again. **** “Kevin!” Joey called out, but to no avail. Joey sank back onto his mound of pillows in defeat. “Oy, what’s the hurry with him?” his mother’s voice broke into Joey’s self-pitying thoughts. “He always struck me as such a highly strung little thing.” She advanced into the room and kissed Joey’s cheek. “Bubele, what’s the matter?” Joey stared at the concerned face of his mother. She had a bloody cheek to do the concerned parent routine, given how it was all her fault he was in this mess in the first place. Recapturing some of the anger that had blazed through him on Christmas Day, Joey said, “That, Ma, was the one good thing that’s ever happened to me. And because of your fucking constant meddling, I had to let him go.” His mother took a step back, covering her mouth with her hand in shock. “He,” Joey pointed to the doorway, “was my boyfriend. Yes, Ma, your only begotten son is a queer, a feygele, a filthy poofter!” His head began to throb. He rubbed his forehead to try and ease the pain. The room fell silent, Joey, despite his anger, couldn’t look at the disapproving expression he knew would be on his mother’s face. But he wasn’t sorry he’d come out. His only regret was not doing so earlier, before he’d fucked everything up. Unable to stand the silence any longer, Joey said, “Well, say something! Tell me what a disappointment I am, tell me that you don’t have a son any more, tell me that I’m just as bad as Uncle Frank.” “No.” Her voice sounded calm. Joey finally risked a peek at his mother’s face. To his surprise he didn’t see anger or disgust.

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Settling herself in the hard plastic chair next to Joey’s bed, Mrs Goldman said, “I wondered when you’d get around to telling me.” “Huh?” Joey’s eyes widened. “You mean you already knew?” Mrs Goldman took hold of her son’s hand. “Of course I knew. I’ve cleaned your flat for years. Some of the things I saw, Oy!” Joey’s face burned with embarrassment as he thought of what she could have seen. “But I always made sure I didn’t leave anything, um…” The more he thought about it, the angrier he became. “You’ve been spying on me. How could you? I’ve never had any privacy, you always had to interfere.” “I was worried about you. That’s what a mother does. What with you, your sister and your father, I got enough worry for two people. No wonder I get indigestion.” Opening the large handbag she always carried, Mrs Goldman extracted a half-finished packet of ant-acid tablets. Peeling one from the roll and putting it in her mouth, she began to chew. “And as for you being tidy? Feh. I found one of your dirty DVDs on the coffee table once.” Joey’s eyes widened. “You didn’t watch it did you?” “Some of it. Jeff somebody or other’s Power Tool, I think it was.” “Oh, no.” Joey screwed his eyes shut. “I thought it might be a film about carpentry, I’d been asking you to fix that broken catch on the bathroom door for weeks, but…” She shuddered. “I nearly had one of my turns when I realised what it was.” She shifted in her seat. Joey needed to get off the subject of porn videos. “This business with our Carole going to Israel and me looking after Simon. How could I tell you I was gay? You’d never have let me look after him if you’d known about me.” “But I did know.” “You knew and you still wanted me to have Simon?” He was finding it difficult to get his head round the idea. “He loves you, and though I’ve got some misgivings, you’d make a good parent for him, despite what Carole said.”

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“Carole knows? About me I mean?” “Of course.” “Fuck!” This was just getting worse and worse. Mrs Goldman shot her son a warning glare. “Sorry. This is all such a shock. I thought you’d hate me, cast me out when you found out.” She squeezed Joey’s hand. “You’re my son. It’s not what your dad and me wanted for your future, but…” The room fell silent. Joey tried to get to grips with the idea that his mother had known about him all along. Mrs Goldman let out a sigh. “I suppose I shouldn’t have sprung Simon’s new living arrangements on you like I did.” “Too right.” Because of all the other revelations, Joey had temporarily forgotten about that. “I thought I was doing the right thing. But I see now that I wasn’t.” “You just couldn’t help yourself. Any chance you get to meddle.” “I just did what I thought was best. Carole, she’s never been, well, very maternal. Oy, my children, such disappointments. No wonder I’m under the doctor.” “Ma, don’t start all that again.” Joey knew his mother was one of the healthiest people alive. “Yes, well. Getting back to what I was saying. I knew you having Simon would be good for the pair of you. He needs a positive male influence, and even though you’re, um…one of those…” “Gay, Ma, I’m gay.” “Yes, well. Even though you prefer the company of men, you’d be a lot better for Simon than Carole’s Keith would be. Feh, he actually told me he didn’t want Simon to go with them to Israel.” Mrs Goldman put on her most sour expression. Joey’s fists tightened, he’d never liked Keith, and now he had a tangible reason to hate the man’s guts. “The fucking bastard!” “Language.” “I don’t care. How could anyone not want to have a kid as

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great as him?” His mother sighed. “Though will he still want to come and live with me when he finds out about me? I have to tell him.” “Do you think that’s a good idea? He’s only eight.” “He needs to know.” Mrs Goldman appeared to think about it for a few moments. “I suppose so. I’ll bring him in this evening, I don’t think he’ll have a problem with it, he pretty much worships you.” Joey blushed. He knew it was true. “Having Simon coming to live with you would make you behave. You wouldn’t be able to watch any more of those disgusting films.” Fixing Joey with one of her strongest stares, she continued, “It’d also mean you couldn’t have a lot of men visiting you, like you used to.” “What? You thought that if Simon was with me, it’d turn me straight? Ma, that ain’t gonna happen.” “No, love. That’s not what I meant. If you had the responsibility of looking after a child, you’d be force to grow up, be more responsible. I hoped it would make you want to settle down.” “I thought I’d done that with Kevin, but…” The room fell silent once again. It became increasingly clear to Joey that the whole sorry mess had been of his own making. His mother’s homophobia had only existed in his head. All his attempts to appear straight to make himself look worthy of parenthood had resulted in disaster. His face fell as the full impact of his stupidity dawned on him. If only he’d stopped to think about it before hand, none of it need have happened. He needn’t have broken up with Kevin, causing him to attempt suicide. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!” Joey sniffed and rubbed at his burning eyes. “Joey, love, don’t take on so.” His mother reached over to the box of tissues on the bedside locker and handed him a couple. “Ma, I told Kevin,” Joey blew his nose, “because I wanted to look after our Simon, I couldn’t be his boyfriend anymore. And…” He swallowed. “he tried to kill himself. He loved me and…And I just threw him away. God, I feel awful.”

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“No!” Mrs Goldman put a hand over her mouth. Then the hand went to the box of tissues and pulled out several more, handing them to Joey. Accepting the tissues and blowing his nose again, Joey continued. “And I hurt our Simon when I ran out on him the other Friday. Ma, you gotta believe me, it wasn’t because I didn’t want him.” Joey looked beseechingly at his mother. “I was confused, angry and…I don’t know. It’s such a mess. I’ve hurt the two men I love the most, all because I was too stupid, too scared to tell you the truth.” Mrs Goldman patted her son’s hand. “What am I gonna do, Ma?” “I don’t know, love.” Sighing, she got to her feet. “Listen, I’ve got to go. I promised Mrs Schindler I’d help with the catering for her grandson’s Bar Mitzvah tomorrow.” Joey resented the fact his mother preferred to go off and do her organising, rather than stay with him, but he refused to allow her to see his pain at being abandoned. **** “See, you had the caps lock on.” Kevin stood at Mr Parker’s side, trying not to get angry at the older man’s lack of computer skills. “So why didn’t the stupid thing tell me that?” “Because passwords are case sensitive, some people write them in upper case. All that the computer knew was that the password you were typing in wasn’t the correct one.” “Stupid thing,” Mr Parker repeated. The buzzer to the outer door sounded, distracting both men. “Who on earth?” Parker said looking up at the security monitor. Kevin saw who it was and grew uneasy. “It’s Joey’s mother.” “You best let her in, I suppose.” As he made his way to the door, Kevin assumed Mrs Goldman had come to drop off a sick note or something from the hospital.

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“Oh, you poor boy. My Joey told me what almost happened to you,” she said as soon as he’d unlocked the door. Kevin didn’t know what to say, he was shocked and upset Joey would pass on such news to his mother. “Can I speak to you for a few minutes?” “Um.” Kevin hesitated. “It’s important.” Kevin nodded before turning to walk down the passageway. As he led Mrs Goldman to the small room they used as a staff canteen, he tried to steady his breathing. Once Mrs Goldman was seated, Kevin found himself automatically observing the customary social niceties by asking his visitor if she wanted a cup of tea. “No, bubele, I can’t stay very long.” Kevin hovered uncertainly. “Please, Kevin, come and sit down.” Kevin’s mouth went dry. What did she want? Nervously he perched himself on the edge of a chair opposite. “Sometimes my son can be a very loving and generous person. He can also be stupid and blinkered.” Mrs Goldman let out a long sigh. “Oy, I’m no good at this.” Fixing her gaze on Kevin, she said, “I know my son is…a homosexual, I’ve actually known for quite a long time.” Kevin’s mouth opened, but no sound came out. “You might not realise it, but you’ve made a big difference to Joey’s life. Before he met you, he was like a bull in a china shop, he couldn’t settle, he didn’t know what he wanted. But thanks to you, he grew up. Well, I thought he had. But…” Kevin sat even more upright in his chair. What was she telling him? “I’m here, Kevin, to offer a huge apology on my son’s behalf. When he broke off your, um, friendship, he wasn’t thinking clearly. Feh, he wasn’t thinking at all. For some reason he got an idea in that foolish head of his that I’d somehow reject him if I found out…about him.” Taking a starched white linen handkerchief from her bag, she dabbed at her nose. “He’s my son, and though he gives me more worry than a whole family of

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sons would, I love him. I don’t understand him wanting to be…like he is, but I’ve had a long time to get used to it, and if that’s what he is, then that’s what he is.” Kevin remained silent. Mrs Goldman was a whole lot more understanding of her son’s gayness than Kevin’s was of his. “Over the past few days, Joey hasn’t been himself. Being tied to that hospital bed won’t have helped, but that’s not the whole reason for his moodiness. Kevin, he’s very sorry for what he did to you, and deeply wishes he hadn’t.” “It hurt.” Kevin swallowed. “It hurt a lot. I loved him, and he still…” Kevin battled not to cry, he was fed up of crying all the time. Reaching forward, Mrs Goldman took hold of Kevin’s hands. “I know, bubele. But can you find it within yourself to forgive him?” Kevin felt himself beginning to tremble. “I….I don’t know. I’m scared.” “I’m sure you are. Look, I’ve got to go. All I ask is that you’ll think about what I’ve said. My son’s been stupid and made some bad mistakes. Ones which…I don’t need to remind you, but… Well, I’ve said my piece.” She got up; Kevin rose to follow. “It’s all right, I can see myself out.” **** “Simon, I’ve got something very important to tell you.” Joey looked up at the serious, even frightened expression on his nephew’s face. “You’re still gonna let me come live with you, aren’t you, Uncle Joey? I know you hurt your leg but—” “No, Champ, it’s not that. I really want you to come live with me.” Simon’s face relaxed. “But before you make up your mind, there’s something I have to tell you about me.” “Oh?” Joey looked down at the cast on his leg. He’d been rehearsing how to come out to Simon for most of the afternoon,

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but still couldn’t find the right form of words. “Some men—no, most men—like to live and fall in love with women. But sometimes they just feel more comfortable if they live with someone their own sex.” Simon nodded gravely. “Well I’m like that. I’m what they call homosexual or gay. I prefer to live with men. Not boys, I would never, ever, do anything to you or any other boy. That’s…well I’m not like that. Sorry, I’m probably confusing you with all of this.” “Awesome! You’re like Bobby’s dad.” “Huh?” “You know, my mate Bobby, you’ve met him, we saw him at the bonfire?” Joey nodded, wondering where Simon was going with this. “You saw his dad, too. He’d had too much to drink.” Simon giggled. “Yeah I remember, but what’s that gotta do with—” “Bobby’s dad’s gay. He, Bobby I mean, lives with his dad and his uncle Stephen, but he isn’t his real uncle…he’s Bobby’s dad’s lover.” “And you’re okay with Bobby having a gay dad who has a male partner?” Simon gave Joey a well duh look. There’s not that much difference in having two dads instead of having a mum and a dad.” Out of the mouths of babes, Joey thought. “So now you know that I’m like Bobby’s dad, you still wanna come live with me?” “Yeah, ’course I do. Just wait till I tell Bobby tomorrow…he’ll be stoked,” Simon said excitedly. Joey gave his mother—who had been silently standing next to the door—a confused look. He couldn’t help the broad smile of relief that broke out on his face. He’d been dreading Simon’s reaction, fearing the boy would think less of him, shy away from him, even hate him. Looking back at Simon, Joey saw the boy was wearing an equally wide smile. “You got a boyfriend, Uncle Joey? Is it Uncle Kevin? He’s nice.” Joey’s face fell. “No, Champ. I used to, but not any more.”

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Simon stood up and gave his uncle a tentative hug. **** As Kevin sat watching the evening movie on the television, his mind inevitably drifted back to the conversation he’d had with Mrs Goldman a couple of days earlier. He’d often found himself spacing out whenever his mind wasn’t otherwise occupied. Peter and Terry—who were sitting either side of him— appeared to be fully absorbed in the all-action plot as yet another car chase was being played out. However, Kevin was too busy wrestling with the idea of forgiving Joey and going back to him, to pay the movie much attention. Could he do it? Could he forgive Joey for what he’d done to him? He thought about all the times he’d gone back to Cal, only to find things hadn’t changed. I’m not Cal, Pup, Kevin could hear Joey say in his head. Aren’t you? Kevin asked the mental reconstruction of his former lover. Cal hit you, abused you, humiliated you. I never did any of those things. But you still ended up hurting me. You didn’t use your fists like Cal did, but the wounds I got were just as painful. I know, and I’ll never be able to forgive myself. Peter stood up, breaking Kevin’s train of thought. Glancing at the screen, Kevin realised they’d reached a commercial break. Once Peter had left the room—presumably to visit the bathroom—Terry turned to Kevin. “That bit where he jumped out of that third-floor window, but still got up and ran off…great wasn’t it?” “Uh, yeah, fantastic,” Kevin replied. Terry gave Kevin an ‘I knew it’ look. “You haven’t been watching the film, have you? Nobody jumped out of any window.” “Uh, sorry.” “So what were you thinking about then?” “What Joey’s mother said the other day.”

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Terry sighed. “Your gonna forgive him, aren’t you?” “I don’t know.” Kevin looked pleadingly up at his friend, hoping he’d understand. “I’m a bloody fool, and Peter’ll kill me when he finds out I’m telling you this, but,” Terry turned in his seat so he was faceto-face with Kevin. “if you forgive him, is he gonna dump you or something the next time the going gets rough?” Kevin shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. I know he’s really hurting over this…you should have seen him lying there in that hospital bed.” “I know he was there for you when you two were together. I saw with my own eyes how he helped you become a lot stronger and more confident about yourself.” Kevin nodded. Sighing again, Terry continued, “This is one time when you could be there for him. Question is, are you strong enough to do it?” Kevin pondered. If he went back to Joey, what would happen? Would Joey walk all over him like Cal used to? Kevin knew that wasn’t likely. Unlike Cal, Joey hadn’t begged him to come back, promising him things would be different. Truth was Kevin didn’t actually know if Joey wanted him back. ’Course he does, you bloody fool, his internal voice told him. Kevin realised if he could pluck up the courage and take the initiative and approach Joey, this would somehow break the usual cycle. Taking a deep breath, Kevin looked up at his friend’s understanding and concerned face. “I have to be strong enough, ’cause he isn’t at the moment. Joey’s worth fighting for. I love him, it’s as simple as that.” Having made the decision, Kevin felt euphoric. He wanted to leap from the settee and jump in the air. This was one way he could prove to everyone—not least himself—that he wasn’t the snivelling, pathetic weakling he always believed himself to be. “What’s got you so pleased with yourself?” Peter asked, coming back into the room. “He’s decided something,” Terry said, standing up and

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approaching his boyfriend. “Oh?” Terry turned to Kevin, who swallowed, knowing Peter would have a hard time accepting what he was about to say. “I’ve decided I’m man enough to forgive Joey for what he did.” “Fuck. I knew it, I just knew it. Won’t you ever learn?” Terry wrapped a restraining arm around Peter. “No!” Kevin said loudly. “Joey’s not Cal. Trust me, Peter, he isn’t. He’s shown me time and time again that he isn’t.” “But you almost killed yourself because of that bastard.” “I know. And Joey’s sorry he hurt me.” “That’s fucking big of him.” “Haven’t you ever made a mistake?” Kevin asked, getting angry. “Not one as big as that.” “Okay, that’s fair,” Kevin conceded. “But have you?” Peter paused for a moment. “Suppose so. But Kev, are you sure about this?” “Not one-hundred percent, no. I’ve got to trust him. That’s what love’s all about isn’t it? If I don’t take the risk, I’ll never find happiness.” “It’s a bloody big risk.” “Yeah. But what choice do I have? A life spent alone, regretting the fact that I never gave him a second chance?” Peter shook his head. “You're gonna do what you want no matter what I say.” Kevin stood up and approached his friend. Putting his hands on Peter’s shoulders, Kevin said, “But will you support me? Will you be there for me? I can’t do it if I don’t have anyone in my corner cheering for me.” “’Course we’ll support you,” Terry said, shooting a warning glare at Peter. Letting out a breath, Peter said, “We love you, Kev. I don’t mind saying that I think you’re heading for one hell of a fall, but if it’s what you feel you need to do, then of course I’ll stand alongside you.” Kevin felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from

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his shoulders. He was making a start in re-building his life. Though the thought was scary, he knew he’d made the right decision. “Go on, get your coat,” Terry said, “we might as well strike while the iron’s hot.”

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Epilogue “We getting a taxi home?” Joey asked as he was being pushed in a wheelchair by one of the male nurses from his ward. Kevin was flanking him on one side, Simon at his other. “No, Simon and I came in Carole’s car,” Kevin said, moving aside to allow a woman using crutches to pass. “She’s here?” Joey didn’t want the momentous event of being sprung from the hospital marred by the presence of his sister. “No, Uncle Joey, she’s off doing some last minute shopping or something with Keith,” Joey heard the note of contempt in Simon’s voice at the mention of Keith’s name. “They’re leaving in a couple of days.” “But if she’s not here, how…” Simon giggled. “I drove,” Kevin said, pausing just inside the main entrance to allow a line of patients on trolleys to be wheeled in. “You never told me you could drive.” “You never asked.” Kevin smiled down at Joey, who reached up to take his hand. “Looks like there’s a lot I don’t know about you,” Joey said, locking eyes with his love. **** The first time Kevin showed up in Joey’s hospital room, the older man had been surprised to see him. Kevin hadn’t stayed long, hadn’t even approached the bed. However, Joey’s emotions at their first meeting were as nothing compared to when Kevin came back a couple of days later. “Your mum came to see me the other day.” “Huh?” Joey’s mind raced. “She said you’d come out to her.” “What?” Calmly, Kevin continued, “Now she knows, do you think

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we have a chance of making it work between us?” Anger at his mother’s meddling instantly turned to shock. “But, I…” Joey swallowed. “I don’t deserve a second chance. You should have someone better than me. How many times did you ask me, plead with me not to leave you? And I bet there were loads of times you thought about it, but didn’t say it.” Kevin nodded. “And what did I do as soon as things got…complicated?” “You were put in a tight situation.” “God, you’re fucking amazing. You still want me back after what I did?” “Do you still love me? Do you still want me?” “With all my heart. I promise I never stopped loving you.” “And would you ever turn me away again?” Joey shook his head. “I couldn’t.” Reaching out to take Kevin’s hand, he said, “I know what effect me rejecting you had on you, and I’ll go to my grave regretting it, but you gotta know it hurt me, too.” Joey shuddered, “More than you could know.” “Thank you, Sir,” Kevin said, visibly battling to keep his emotions in check. “It’s not right you calling me ‘sir’. What’s happened this last couple of weeks must show you that.” “I need you to be the strong one, I can’t do it.” “Kevin, please look at me. You are strong. You’re a lot stronger than you think. You got through what I did to you. Coming here today and asking what you just did. Wow, if the roles had been reversed, I bet I couldn’t have done it.” “When we were together you always protected me and loved me. That’s what I need.” Joey gazed lovingly at the man who had stolen his heart and was asking if he could look after it again. “You know our Simon’s gonna come and live with me…us? It’d not be right if you called me ‘sir’ in front of him, and as I said, I don’t deserve it. But if you need me to be the strong one, then I’d be honoured to do it. It’d be a fucking privilege to be anything for you.” “One thing I’m gonna insist on, though.” Kevin said, a resolute tone overlaying his words.

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“Name it.” “You get rid of that bike and don’t buy another.” Joey had loved the freedom his bike had given him, but lying in his bed for the past week, he’d come to realise it wasn’t the safest form of transport. Now he had a family, he knew he’d have to behave more responsibly. “Okay.” “I told you that you were a good influence on my son,” Mrs Goldman said, entering the room. ““How many times have I told you that thing was a death-trap? Oy, but would you listen?” Joey gripped Kevin’s hand tightly, it was either that or he’d throw something. “You can’t help interfering can you? Kevin told me you went to see him.” His mother didn’t look the least bit contrite. “Someone had to get you two back together.” Seating herself in the chair at the other side of the bed to Kevin, she continued, “Men! They’re no good at organising.” Kevin chuckled. Joey just shook his head, unable to stay angry. “And though I don’t understand why you want to be…that way, you couldn’t have done much better than Kevin there. Though I don’t know why you couldn’t have found yourself a nice Jewish boy. Mrs Feinstein’s son, Marcus, is…a homosexual, and he…” “Ma!” “I don’t mind converting to Judaism,” Kevin said softly. Joey shook his head violently, and, moving his hand toward his crotch, made snipping gestures with his index and middle fingers. Meanwhile Mrs Goldman had fixed Kevin with a stare, “This isn’t something you should take lightly, young man. Being a Jew is…” “No way!” Both his mother and Kevin turned surprised expressions on him. Joey realised he’d spoken out loud. “It’s, uh…” He couldn’t discuss Kevin’s foreskin, not in front of his mother. “I’ll think about it some more, then,” Kevin said, smiling knowingly at Joey.

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**** Once the congestion around the hospital’s main entrance had cleared, Joey was able to resume his break for freedom. After crossing the road and negotiating their way through the many parked cars, the group finally arrived at Carole’s vehicle. The male nurse applied the break to the wheelchair and bent down to Joey’s level and said, “Okay, Mr Goldman, let’s have you in the back seat.” A suitably salacious comeback immediately popped into Joey’s head, but one look at the warning glare on Kevin’s face as he nodded in Simon’s direction, made him think better of verbalising it. He knows me too well, Joey thought, inching his way into the car. Once Joey had belted himself in, the male nurse stuck his head through the open door. “Good luck, Mr Goldman.” He reached for Joey’s hand and gave it a shake. “Though having these two people round you, I can see you’re already pretty lucky. The nurse winked at Joey before withdrawing his head and closing the door. As Joey watched the hospital recede through the back window, he thought, You’ve no idea how lucky I am, mate. Facing forward, he looked upon his new family, good-naturedly arguing over which radio station they should listen to. No idea at all. THE END

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ABOUT DREW HUNT Having read all the decent free fiction on the net Drew could find, he set out to try his hand at writing something himself. Fed up reading about characters who were super-wealthy, impossibly handsome, and incredibly well-endowed, Drew determined to make his characters real and believable. Drew lives a quiet life in the north of England with his cat. Someday he hopes to meet the kind of man he writes about.

ABOUT JMS BOOKS LLC Founded in 2010, JMS Books LLC is owned and operated by author J.M. Snyder. We publish a variety of genres, including gay erotic romance, fantasy, young adult, poetry, and nonfiction. Short stories and novellas are available as e-books and compiled into single-author print anthologies, while any story over 30k in length is available in both print and e-book formats. Visit us at jms-books.com for our latest releases and submission guidelines!