1
THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE…(UNLESS YOU DIE FIRST)
A NOVEL BY
AMY HUNTER-DUTTA
2
1. The first time I ever met Gregor M...
87 downloads
583 Views
771KB Size
Report
This content was uploaded by our users and we assume good faith they have the permission to share this book. If you own the copyright to this book and it is wrongfully on our website, we offer a simple DMCA procedure to remove your content from our site. Start by pressing the button below!
Report copyright / DMCA form
1
THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE…(UNLESS YOU DIE FIRST)
A NOVEL BY
AMY HUNTER-DUTTA
2
1. The first time I ever met Gregor McKeon, in the flesh I mean, (and what flesh it was!), was a rainy and dreary spring evening, unusual for southern Spain but, I suppose, usual for where he’s from, England. I was sitting in the library of Teo’s grand villa- well, since it was in Spain, I realize it couldn’t have been a villa, but it was a beautiful house anyway, tucked away in the country, north of Cadiz. It was the sort of house where the floors were real marble and the furniture was intricately carved but not terribly comfortable. I was sitting by the fire, trying to warm myself because Teo, despite being fabulously wealthy, was also very cheap and didn’t like to run the heat in his million-dollar hacienda. I was wearing a long black skirt and a wraparound sweater, dark green, which deepened the color of my eyes, or so I hoped. I had attempted to tame my somewhat unruly dark hair by pulling the top back and securing it with a clip. My screenplay was balanced on my knees and I think they were trembling a little when I heard voices in the outer hall. Teo, always one for dramatic gestures, flung the door open and announced in his loud, booming director’s voice: “Elise, Gregor McKeon. Mac, this is Elise Connelly.” I got up, awkwardly clutching the thick book in my hand. Before either of us could utter one word, before Gregor could so much as take two steps towards me, the screenplay went flying out of my hand and landed with a clatter on the echoing tile floor. Mortification swept over me. Gregor came over, deftly scooped it up, and held it out to me. “My guess is you’ll be needing this,” he said, his voice low, very polite, unmistakably British. I took the book from him, I think. Pardon me for not remembering, because all I could see in front of me was one of the most amazing specimens of humanity ever. He was tall, broadshouldered but not hulking, trim-waisted. He had cropped but thick sandy hair, a strong jaw, and a slightly weather-beaten face. It was his eyes locking on mine that gave my knees that spaghetti feeling and made my palms start to sweat. They were bluer than the Mediterranean I’d just gone swimming in the day before. Bluer than a crisp autumn sky on a day when you could smell the smoke from your neighbors’ burning leaves. So blue and so bright that I just stared with my mouth a little open, until I realized that he was saying something else and holding out his hand, the hand that had just given me my book back. “It’s lovely to meet you,” was what was issuing from his full lips.
3
I blinked, shut my mouth, and opened it again. “You, too,” I managed this time, and we shook hands in a very civilized manner. Teo winked at me as he hurried past, over to the polished mahogany sideboard. “Drinks all around, no?” he asked, getting out glasses and ice. He busied himself with the bottles. Gregor gestured for me to sit, and he settled onto the hard sofa opposite my chair. “First off, I want to compliment you on a marvelous script,” he said, easily draping his arm over the back of the sofa and crossing one leg over his knee. “I was skeptical when I was told the same person who wrote the novel was doing the entire screenplay single-handedly. But, I was very pleased with the outcome. Usually if you’re good at writing one you’re not good at writing the other.” I nodded, my wits apparently having left me for the day. “Thank you,” I whispered. “And with Teo directing, I have no doubt in my mind it’ll be a smash,” Gregor continued. He was wearing a crisp white button-down shirt, open at the neck, with a soft-looking charcoal jacket over it, and jeans. His skin under the shirt was tanned. I tried not to let my imagination wander over the rest of him. “I read the book when it came out, and it did cross my mind that it would be a juicy role to play. So naturally I jumped at the chance to read for it.” “I had you in mind from the start, Mac,” Teo put in, handing me a drink and then plumping down next to Gregor. He was a big, florid man with a thick moustache and a red face; he reminded me a little of Hercule Poirot, and also a younger Santa Claus. “It was a natural fit. The secret agent, leading the double life, falling in love with his handler, getting into all kinds of international intrigue…it just screamed Gregor McKeon. Of course, Matt Damon and Pierce Brosnan were interested, but once I had you in my mind, I didn’t even return their phone calls.” I suspected Teo was making up that part about Matt Damon and Pierce Brosnan. Certainly he’d never told me that. I supposed he was trying to flatter Gregor. Gregor smiled gamely. I’m not sure he believed Teo either. “Well, I thank you for it,” he said, lifting his glass a little in my direction. I lifted mine in return, then took a big swallow, which was a mistake, because Teo liked to make drinks strong. I coughed and tried to dab my watering eyes. “So,” Gregor continued, apparently oblivious to my lack of social grace, “has everyone else arrived for the shoot, then?”
4
“Si, everyone who needs to be here,” Teo said. “Except Sheila, and her flight is due in tonight.” His cell phone beeped, and he waved one hand apologetically. “Excuse me,” he said to both of us, and went over to the window. Gregor turned to me with a little smile on his lips. “Teo’s a great guy,” he said. “I worked with him a few years back, in Grecian Urn. He was a delight. Kept everyone focused, wasn’t a pain in the ass like some others I’ve worked with. He also has a wonderful sense of humor.” “I saw that movie,” I said, finally finding my voice. “I thought you were very good in it.” Gregor made a dismissive gesture. “Now, Ms. Connelly,” he said, lowering his voice a little and leaning towards me. “How did you get to be a best-selling author at such a young age? I heard you were only twenty-five when Time of Your Life was published.” “True. I can’t lie and say it was on pure talent. I knew someone at Simon & Schuster. A college roommate’s father, in fact.” Gregor laughed. “The truth comes out,” he said. “Well, he wouldn’t have risked his job pushing through something shitty, I’m sure. But how did you get to do the screenplay?” Taking a more delicate sip of my drink this time, I shrugged. “I wouldn’t sell the movie rights unless I had complete control over the screenplay. And I wanted to be an advisor on the movie as well. Too many books of this genre get pumped full of testosterone when they get made into movies. There is action in it, of course, and violence, but…” I trailed off, suddenly realizing I sounded like a harpy. “I just wanted some creative input,” I finished. Gregor nodded. “And I think you’ve struck a balance. It’ll be a good date movie, if you will. Something for the guys, something for the ladies.” I smiled. “I suppose. I hadn’t really thought of it that way.” Teo returned, looking annoyed. “That was Sheila,” he told us. “She’s not arriving until Saturday. Her Botox treatment, it did not go as well as planned.” “Sounds painful,” Gregor said with a grimace. The female lead, Sheila Halliday, was a few years older than he was. I had originally written them as the same age, but making her a little older seemed to add more dimension to their story. “So, we are ready for dinner?” Teo asked, rubbing his hands together. He had promised a magnificent meal when I’d arrived earlier. We both nodded.
5
Teo led us through the high-ceilinged great hall, through the dining room, which had a huge table that could easily seat twenty, and into the kitchen, all bright yellows and terra cottas. A small table there had been set for us. Candles flickered in a low ceramic bowl, surrounded by beautifully fragrant orange blossoms. The tableware glimmered in the dusky glow. “I thought this would be a bit more intimate,” Teo said, pulling back my chair for me. He gave me a wink as Gregor sat down. A server moved softly around the table, pouring Rioja, the wonderful Spanish wine that I had become acquainted with in the few days I’d been in its mother country. “A toast to new adventures,” Gregor said, lifting his glass. Up close, I could see the little lines around his eyes and mouth when he smiled. I tried to remember how old he was- close to forty, I vaguely concluded. He was still ridiculously handsome. It was more than just his looks, though. He radiated some sort of magnetic force field. Certain people have it- charisma, I suppose it’s called. I had to literally tell myself to stop staring at him. Instead, I clinked my glass against his and then tried to concentrate on eating the fresh seafood, rice, and vegetables and not drinking too much wine. Being somewhat petite, alcohol tends to go straight to my head. During the meal, which was indeed wonderful, Teo and Gregor entertained me with anecdotes and stories from the set of their previous movie together. Gregor was polite and attentive, but he also had a dry sense of humor that was a perfect foil to Teo’s loud, rambunctious disposition. I found myself laughing at Gregor’s imitations of the well-known female star of that movie, who had a reputation for being quite a prima donna on the set. “So Ms. Connelly,” Gregor said softly as we finished our last course of fruit and cheese and some equally excellent local sherry, “is this your first visit to Spain? And how are you finding it?” “Elise, please,” I said, putting down my glass. “It is my first visit to the South. I’ve traveled to Barcelona and Madrid and Salamanca before.” “I’ve found the South has a flavor all its own,” Gregor mused. “Do you mind?” he added, taking out a silver cigarette case. His initials were engraved on it. I watched as his tanned, strong fingers opened it and took out a thin, brown-wrapped cigarette. I shook my head, unable to tear my eyes away from watching him.
6
He lit one and inhaled deeply. The smoke gently curled around his face. His eyes were thoughtful, faraway. “I used to spend summer holidays here as a young boy. It was the best time of the year for me.” “The people here are very warm,” I agreed. “More so than in other European countries I’ve visited.” Gregor nodded. “I learned Spanish from the shopkeepers in the little fishing village where we would stay,” he said, tapping his ashes. “Every morning my mother would take me on her daily shopping route, and I would practice ordering from the pescaderia and the carneceria. The shopkeepers would correct my grammar.” He chuckled at the memory. “I spent the afternoons swimming and looking for ghost crabs. I would watch the fishing boats come in at the end of the day with their catches. Sometimes they’d let me help carry the buckets of fish on ice. We would bring them around to all the restaurants to sell and they would serve them that very night.” “That sounds like a wonderful way to spend the summer,” I said. I pictured Gregor, a blonde, sun-kissed boy, carrying big metal buckets almost as big as he was that banged against his legs as he followed the men down cobblestone streets. “I bet you hated to leave to go back to school.” “Oh, you have no idea.” Gregor traced the rim of his glass with his finger. “One year, I remember, when it was time to go back to London, I actually tried to run away. I hid in the back of the fruit seller’s shop for hours until someone found me there, buried up to my neck in lemons. My mother was frantic. She was so angry, but so glad to see me at the same time.” Teo smiled. “Mothers, they always forgive their children. No matter what the crime!” he exclaimed. When I finally rose to go, near eleven o’clock, both men accompanied me to the door. I already knew Gregor was staying with Teo while we were shooting near Cadiz. “Can I give you a lift?” Gregor asked as I picked up my purse. “I have a car,” I said. “It’s really no problem,” Gregor said. “Your car can be brought in the morning. The roads here are narrow and winding.” “Well, all right. I’m at the Sofia, with the rest of the crew.” It was probably not a bad idea. I’d had a few drinks and wasn’t too familiar with the route back to my hotel.
7
I thanked Teo as Gregor and I stepped out into the chilly night. The rain had stopped, and the clouds were parting to reveal a nearly full moon. “Beautiful,” Gregor murmured, as Teo closed the door behind us. My thoughts exactly, although they had nothing to do with the weather. I wrapped my pashmina around me a little more tightly as we descended the stone steps. Gregor’s hand just touched the small of my back. The car waiting in Teo’s cobblestone driveway was a sleek black sports car. He held the door for me. “She’s a deathtrap,” he confessed. “But a beauty. A rental, unfortunately. I love taking her on these back roads.” He got in and started the engine. He drove, fast, out onto the road. “So you travel a lot, Elise,” he said, smoothly shifting into fifth. I tried not to grip the door handle too tightly. “Do you have a home, then, in America? I picture you in a very modern apartment in New York. Sleek and square and all beige colors.” “You’re half right,” I replied, laughing. “It is in New York. Except it’s an old brownstone. I have to walk three flights up. It’s hell when you’re drunk.” He chuckled. “I can imagine.” “I’ve been in the City for about eight years now,” I added, leaning my head back and watching the trees hurry by. “It sounds clichéd, but it really is the best place to be if you’re a writer.” “And this brownstone,” Gregor continued, “this heart-attack-inducing fourth-floor flat, do you share it with anyone? A cat, perhaps?” “Good guess,” I answered. “But I travel too much to keep any pets.” “So you’re alone, then?” The way he said it made my stomach turn a slow flip. “Yes,” I said quietly. “I am, now.” Gregor didn’t say anything. I looked over and saw his profile in the darkened car, his jaw set, those laser eyes concentrating on the road ahead. He made a sharp turn and suddenly we were in the parking lot of the Sofia, a magnificent sandstone creation rising up against the inky sky. “Can I walk you to your room?” Gregor asked softly.
8
I nodded. Although we’d spent such a congenial evening together, I felt newly shy. Somehow, it suddenly felt like the end of a date. We entered through the double glass doors. It was a newer hotel, and the lobby had an indoor waterfall with lots of orange trees clustered around it. The concierge hurried towards us, and his eyes widened as he recognized Gregor. “Good evening,” he said, bowing a little. I smiled as we breezed past him, as though movie stars walked me to my room every night. We were both quiet in the elevator. Gregor’s face had an expression I couldn’t quite read. At the door of my room, I turned to face him. “Thanks,” I said simply. “It was a pleasure to meet you. And I enjoyed the ride.” I held out my hand. Gregor smiled, and took it. He placed it to his lips. “So did I,” he said. 2. The next morning, despite a slight headache, I awoke early and found myself filled with excitement. The first day of my movie shoot! I bounded out of bed and ordered coffee, which I drank out on the balcony. The hotel was situated on a cliff over the beach, and below I could see waves gently lapping the shore, gulls swooping down to catch their breakfast. The water was crystalline, like the crisp air. I contemplated my meeting with Gregor last night. He was a bit of a puzzle to me. Nothing he had said or done could be construed as anything other than politeness upon meeting someone new, but my back still felt the warmth from where he had placed his hand, just for a moment, as we left Teo’s house. And I remembered the look on his face when he said goodnight to me- almost regretful, as though he half-expected me to invite him in. I laughed out loud at myself as I placed my coffee cup on the wrought iron table and stood up to stretch. Who was I kidding? I was a writer, a somewhat well-known one, as far as writers go, but not even remotely close to the celebrity that he was. And while I’m not a total dog, I’m nowhere near the level of the women I’d vaguely recalled seeing on his arm in the pages of gossip magazines- tall, willowy, looking as though they were both bored and starving at
9
the same time. I shook my head to clear it of these ridiculous thoughts and went to take a shower. The concierge smiled at me as I came down to the lobby. “Have a good day, Senorita Connelly,” he told me in his accented English. “Good luck.” He knew my story; after three days at the Sofia, he and I were old friends. “Gracias, Alberto.” My car was sitting right outside the hotel. I got in and drove to the set, which was, for today anyway, in Sanluca de Barrameda, a village just to the west of Cadiz. I had a GPS on my car so I wouldn’t get lost; driving in Spain can be confusing. When I arrived, the place was bustling with excitement. The crew was setting up all the filming equipment, the extras were milling around, and Teo was presiding over all of it, shouting instructions in both English and Spanish. My assistant Molly, who travels with me everywhere and had gone on ahead this morning, met me at my car. “This is something,” she said. “Like an anthill. And he’s the queen,” she added, nodding to Teo. “Don’t tell him that,” I said. “He’s as macho as they come.” We arrived at the beach. There were the motorboats- long, swift, cigarette boats, gleaming in the morning sun. What action movie is complete without a boat chase? Of course, never mind that it’s supposed to be off the coast of Monaco; it’s much cheaper to shoot in Spain. They would intersperse the stock Monte Carlo footage later. I spotted Gregor over talking to some of the cameramen; they were gesturing and smoking, probably discussing the scene. Gregor looked impeccable in a pale grey suit and white shirt. After a minute, perhaps sensing the holes my eyes were burning into his clothes, he looked over, smiled and waved. I felt my cheeks heat up as I turned away, suddenly transformed into a seventh grader at my first junior high dance. Molly blew out a little puff of air. “Wow, he’s even hotter in person than onscreen,” she muttered. “How was it meeting him yesterday? I would have been just one giant puddle on the floor.” “He was very nice,” I said. “Funny, and witty. I like him.”
10
Molly brushed some of her long, taffy-colored hair behind her ear. Her wide-set blue eyes regarded me with renewed interest. “Not stuck-up? I would picture him being all, you know, British and stuffy.” “Not at all,” I said, my knees quivering just at the memory of his lips on my hand. Believe me, I had thought twice before washing it off before I went to bed. Teo motioned to us. “Come, come,” he said, putting his arm around my shoulders. “I want to teach you. You stay with me, no?” “Of course,” I said, pulling my script out of my bag. He brought me over to meet Vanessa Bell, the first AD. She was in her mid-forties, tall with a great figure, with bleached-blonde hair. Her face looked like she’d spent too much time in the sun, but her pale blue eyes were very pretty. “It’s great finally meeting you,” she said huskily, shaking my hand with her tanned wiry one. “Teo’s been raving about your screenplay for the past six months. He called me up in L.A. and demanded I drop everything to come film with him. I have to admit, I’m not complaining,” she added, gesturing to the water. “We’ll be going to some gorgeous locations.” I nodded. “I’m glad you were able to join him,” I said. I had heard of Vanessa; she had assisted on several other big films and was well-respected in the business. I was looking forward to see how she and Teo would interpret the screenplay. It was an amazing morning. I had seen movies, of course, but it had never really occurred to me how difficult it was to film a scene, even a short one, and particularly one involving a speedboat chase. I watched as the slim gleaming boats raced by, the cameramen on their booms leaning out over the water to film. Gregor wanted to do most of the stuntwork, Teo had informed me yesterday; he would only consent to a double for the really dangerous stuff. I could see him on his boat, looking dapper even as he fake-punched out bad guys. It looked like fun. The only thing he didn’t do himself was leap out of the boat onto the other one while both were still moving. They had his double do that. I was kind of glad, as I didn’t want to see him get hurt. When we broke for lunch, which was at the customary local time of two o’clock, I caught up with Gregor as he headed to his trailer. “That was fantastic,” I told him, feeling suddenly bold.
11
He smiled at me, a little tiredly. His suit had gotten wrinkled and damp; he was going to have to change into another one to finish the scene. “I enjoyed it,” he said. “Come, would you like to join me for a cigarette?” I didn’t smoke, but I would have lit up a pack of unfiltered Camels if it meant spending time alone with him. I nodded and followed him into the trailer. Inside, I marveled at in how short a time he’d managed to make it a mess. Clothes and shoes littered the sofa and two armchairs. He saw me looking and shrugged. “Wardrobe and I had trouble agreeing this morning,” he said, pushing aside a heap for me to sit on the sofa. He stood before me and held out that silver cigarette case. I took one, gingerly. He lit it for me, and I looked up at those fantastic eyes staring down. “Thank you,” I said. I took one delicate drag, coughed a little, and tried to look nonchalant. Gregor smiled. “You don’t smoke,” he said, tossing aside more clothes and settling down on the other end of the small sofa. When we faced each other, our knees almost, but not quite, touched. “I used to sometimes, in college,” I replied offhandedly. “The smell of smoke always makes me think of having a good time.” “So what did you think of your first experience on a movie set?” Gregor asked, leaning back. He peered out the window behind us. “Teo’s still marching around giving orders. I imagined he’d at least stop to eat.” “It’s really amazing,” I replied. “That couldn’t have been the first time you drove a motorboat.” “While being chased by the Kazakh mafia it was. But you’re right, I do have my own, I suppose you Yanks would call it a twenty-footer. I keep it at my home on the northern coast of Italy.” Neither the fact that he owned a boat or an Italian villa surprised me. “No wonder you looked like you knew what you were doing,” I replied. “And you managed to look suave even when that guy threw you onto the deck.” Gregor put back his head and laughed. “I pleased you, then? I hope there wasn’t too much testosterone for you.” “Don’t worry,” I said. “You’ve got a few tender love scenes with Sheila to make up for it.”
12
We were both quiet then. Gregor seemed suddenly ill at ease. “Elise,” he said softly, grinding out his cigarette in the ashtray on the coffee table in front of us and brushing off his hands on the knees of his trousers. “I invited you in here to tell you something. Before you found out for yourself.” He cleared his throat. “I’m engaged.” I hope my face didn’t show what I felt. “Congratulations,” I said lamely. “To Clara Lloyton.” He paused, then saw that I was still staring blankly at him. “She’s a countess.” Like the villa and the motorboat, this was not remotely surprising either. “Wow, real British royalty,” I said glibly. “She’s flying in this afternoon. I wanted you to know before she arrived on the set.” He was still studying me. I shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “Okay,” I said in as bored a tone as I could manage. I wasn’t sure why Gregor felt the need to inform me of this. Unless- unless… Gregor moved a little closer to me on the sofa. “I’m telling you this,” he said, very directly, “because I am attracted to you, and I hoped you might be feeling the same way about me.” My heart started to gallop away, taking my brain and all sense of reason with it. I felt a tingling in my fingertips and realized it was my cigarette burning them. I quickly stubbed it out in the ashtray, then turned back to face Gregor. “You’re something else,” was all I could think of to say. Gregor took my injured hand in his. My fingers were throbbing, but I scarcely noticed. The warmth of his hand around mine overpowered any other sensations. He touched his lips to my two burned fingers, and then slowly sucked on one of them, then the other. I nearly fell off the couch. “I’ve been told,” he replied with a crooked grin. With an enormous effort, I jerked my hand away. “Look,” I said, pulling myself together, “if you’re engaged, then that really means only one thing to me. You’re taken.” I glared at him with what I hoped was a disapproving expression. “And I don’t mess around with other women’s fiancés.” He actually appeared hurt. “You think I’m a cad, then? For being attracted to a beautiful, lively woman like you?”
13
“A flattering cad, for sure.” But I said it with a smile. How could I not? He was like a naughty child who usually got away with everything he did. He got up then, and took my hand to bring me with him. “Well, why don’t we get some lunch,” he said. “Elise, you are already turning out to be a bit of a spitfire.” He winked at me. “I like that.” Much later that day, I lay on the bed in my hotel room and contemplated the events that had taken place. It was dusk; shadows moved across the walls through my undrawn curtains, but I didn’t bother to get up to close them, nor to turn the light on. I was tired and yet somewhat exhilarated, and not only because of all I had begun to learn about movie-making. After lunch, we had resumed filming, this time using the crowds of extras, which had proved complicated. It took hours to shoot a scene that was supposed to go by in moments. Teo tugged at his salt-and-pepper beard and cursed in Spanish under his breath. I sat by patiently and waited. I knew that filming was not going to be all boat chases and excitement; unfortunately, this also gave me time to reflect on Gregor and the news he’d just given me. At about five o’clock, when we took a break, I finally saw a tall, blonde woman approach Gregor. She was accompanied by a couple of other women, no doubt her assistants, or whatever you called the people who attended a Countess- ladies-in-waiting, maybe, unless that’s too arcane a term. She and Gregor did not embrace, I noticed (I was watching so hard that my eyes burned), but instead she gave him an air-kiss. He took her hand, though, and led her over to greet Teo. She was attractive, though somewhat long in the face, with perfectly styled blonde hair that fell just to her shoulders. It was a warm day, but she looked completely crisp and cool in a pale pink blouse and white linen skirt, and even at the end of the day, when we had wrapped up filming just past eight, she still looked unwrinkled- no mean feat in linen. Gregor had been avoiding me since lunchtime, or so I imagined, but as we were all slowly making our way back to our cars he stopped me to make introductions. “Clara, Elise Connelly. Elise, Clara Lloyton. Clara, you know who Elise is. She wrote both the novel and the screenplay adaptation of the film.” Clara gave me a small, smug smile. “Oh, yes,” she said. “You’re a writer.” She said it in the same voice as you would tell someone they were a child molester, or had contracted leprosy.
14
I shook her limp dishrag of a hand. “And you’re a countess,” I replied, mimicking her tone. “Nice to meet you.” I saw Gregor turn slightly pale, but he also seemed to stifle a laugh. Clara’s grey-blue eyes regarded me for a moment longer before turning to Gregor. Apparently, I was no longer worth the eyestrain. “Well, we’ll see you in the morning,” Gregor said and, taking her arm, hurried her away. I drove fast back to the hotel and lay on my bed, fuming but yet feeling a little vindicated by the memory of Gregor’s mouth on my fingers, and the look on his face after I’d spoken to the Countess. I finally got up to take a shower so I could meet Molly and some of the other film crew for tapas in Cadiz. No sense in wasting time moping around here when I could be out having some fun. However, it did occur to me that Clara would do well to get back on the Concorde- or whatever it was rich people flew nowadays- and head right back to Stratford-on-Avon-onWiltshire, or wherever her fiefdom was. Because if today’s scene in his trailer was any indication, her fiancé was somewhat of a rogue. I drunk dialed Jack at one a.m. Spain time, which was, unfortunately for him, six a.m. in New York. “Hello?” he muttered. “Jack, ish me,” I whispered, my slur the result of one (or four or five) too many glasses of Sangria. “Elise? Are you okay?” He sounded annoyed. “It’s really early.” “You can go back to shleep in a minute,” I said. I sat heavily on the curb outside the bar where Molly and the others were still inside. “I jush wanted to say hi.” “Hi.” “Hi.” I pictured Jack under the white down comforter with navy trim that I’d picked out for us, the 300-count sheets that I’d splurged on when my book came out in paperback. And went to #5- again. I wondered why I had, in a fit of spleen, allowed him to take the bed linens when we broke up. “So aren’sh you even gonna ask me how I’m doing?” “Okay.” I heard him rustling around, probably propping up the down-filled pillows under his dark curly head. “I’m just surprised to hear from you, I guess. How are you?”
15
“Oh, fine. How’re you? Besides bein’ asleep.” “Uh, okay I guess.” He paused. “How’s the filming going?” “Ish pretty incredible,” I slurred, stretching out my feet, encased in high-heeled sandals, in front of me. They looked small and far away. “We shot the first shene today. You’d have loved it. It wash the motorboat chase shene.” “Cool.” Jack sounded more awake now. “I bet I would have. How’s Gregor McKeon? Did you get to meet him yet?” Ha. If only he knew. “Yeah, he’s shuper nice. Not pretentious at all.” “I bet it’s beautiful there, huh? It’s cold and raining here.” “Sucksh to be you.” “Maybe I’ll come visit you over there,” Jack put in suddenly. I pictured his soft brown eyes widening as he considered this fabulous idea. Shit. Dumb idea to call him. “Uh…I dunno,” I managed. Molly came out of the bar, along with Arne, Dylan and Mike, the three guys we’d gone out with. She took one look at me on the phone and her eyes narrowed. “I gotta go,” I said, rising unsteadily to my feet. Molly came over and I grabbed her shoulder to keep from falling over. “I’ll call you later.” “Elise?” I heard Jack before I clicked my phone shut. Molly looked at me sternly. “Who was that?” I smiled at her and let her lead me to a waiting taxi. “My mom,” I said. “She wanted to hear all ‘bout the shoot.” 3. The next few days passed somewhat curiously. The movie-making part was enjoyable, to be sure. I sat at Teo’s right hand and watched him draw out nuanced performances in what was essentially an action thriller with a love story thrown in. It was amazing to watch him and Vanessa bring their vision to what had been only in my mind’s eye for the last four years. Most of the time, what I was now seeing before me pleased me greatly.
16
Vanessa and Teo worked well together, and I could tell they were both consummate professionals. Vanessa’s straightforward, no-nonsense approach complemented Teo’s more theatrical tendencies. I knew I could learn a lot from each of them. Less enjoyably, I only saw Gregor when we were on the set. During breaks, he was monopolized (at least, in my mind) by Clara or by Teo, and once we finished shooting for the day, he would disappear with her into his sports car and drive off. I wondered if they were both staying with Teo, although I didn’t get the feeling that Teo liked Clara much. When I pictured them all sitting cozily in Teo’s kitchen, a bitter taste would fill my mouth. Sheila arrived on our last day of filming in Spain, smooth-foreheaded and ready to play the part of Lenore, the experienced CIA handler who unexpectedly falls in love with Max Milken, the debonair spy she’s supposed to be managing. Sheila was probably around forty-five, petite, attractive, with chin-length brown hair and eyes the color of dark chocolate. Her face, due to the Botox, wore an expression of permanent surprise. When Teo introduced us her first day on the set, she nodded at me with a smile that began and ended at her mouth. Then she glanced around, to see who else more interesting and important was nearby, I suppose. “Nice to meet you too,” I said. Teo threw me an apologetic look. The first love scene between her and Gregor was shot in an old inn, and the bedroom was cleared except for the two actors, Teo, me, and two cameramen. Sheila was not shy about her body, as I soon learned. She willingly allowed Gregor to strip her down to a lacy negligee and lay her down on the bed. She may have been petite, but she was plenty curvy, as we all could clearly see. It was weird, seeing them whisper to each other and kiss passionately, all the while Teo interrupting them with, “A little more to the left- now try that again, Gregor, where you push her hair off her face- yes, that’s it. Tender, no? This is a tender love scene. Did you get that shot, Orlando? Okay, Sheila, now you take off his shirt.” I couldn’t help staring at the muscles in Gregor’s tanned arms and back. Fortunately for me, I suppose, he kept his boxer shorts on. As usual in movies, most of the skin that would be shown was the woman’s. I was halfway between being uncomfortably turned on and wanting to cover my face and giggle hysterically. I saw Gregor looking at me, and then he smiled
17
somewhat wickedly. It was no surprise when he overtook me in the hallway after the scene was over and we were heading back outside. “How did you like that?” he asked, walking just close enough to me so that our sleeves brushed. It was the first time we’d been alone together since Clara had arrived in Spain. I gave him a sidelong look. “Pretty hot,” I said honestly. Gregor was rumpled, having hastily dressed and left so Sheila could put herself back together again in privacy. I could see her lipstick on his neck. “You may want to wipe that off,” I said, handing him a tissue. He swiped his neck and put the tissue in his pocket. “Hot, even with Teo barking out orders every five seconds? If it’s one thing I know how to do without rehearsing, it’s making love.” I knew he was watching me when he said that. “Apparently you don’t,” I teased. “Anyway, it was- certainly educational.” Gregor turned and stepped in front of me, blocking me before we could go outside into the sunshine. “Perhaps I could give you a little extra tutoring later,” he murmured, his mouth close to my hair. In spite of myself, my heart took off again at both his words and his nearness. God, the man radiated pheromones. “I don’t think so,” I replied, trying not to look at his face. “Maybe you’re forgetting about someone else.” He stepped back, and folded his sinewy arms. Clearly, I baffled him. He was probably not used to having his romantic overtures rebuffed. “Okay then,” he said, “fair enough.” His blue eyes held mine. “Can I at least have dinner with you tonight? There’s a wonderful restaurant in the Old City that I make a point of going to whenever I’m near Sevilla. And we’re off to Budapest in the morning.” I couldn’t help it. I nodded. “But…Clara…I mean the countess,” I replied weakly. “Is on a flight back to Heathrow this very minute,” Gregor answered smoothly. “How convenient.” “It is, isn’t it? I’ll meet you at your hotel room at eight.” He turned and headed out the door. “Wear something that shows off that marvelous bum of yours,” he threw over his shoulder. Of all the cocky bastards! But I found myself smiling as I followed him.
18
At eight that evening, I was pacing nervously in my room. I was showered, blow-dried, powdered, lipsticked, mascaraed, and bejeweled with my only diamonds- a pendant and dangling earrings, gifts from Jack last Christmas; and I had deliberately put on a tight-fitting red top with a flared black skirt that absolutely camouflaged my rear. I had strapped myself into my stiletto sandals, which meant I was teetering around like a carnival performer on stilts, so at the last minute, I exchanged them for some ballet flats. Eight-ten. Eight-fifteen. Dammit, of course he’s not coming, I scolded myself. You flatout told him he wasn’t going to get a piece of this “marvelous bum” tonight, and now he’s found himself a more willing partner. By eight-twenty, I had my phone in my hand, about to dial Molly to see if she would join me for a drink and a pity party by the hotel pool. But then, there was a knock at the door. Gregor was smashing in a crisp button-down shirt, the color of his eyes, and charcoal grey pants. He smiled at me, and then burst out laughing when he saw my skirt. “Touché, Miss Connelly,” he said. “You are still lovely.” He kept his distance from me all the way through the hotel, and when we got outside, I saw why. Several paparazzi leapt out as we walked through the parking lot, and a couple more snapped us as we were getting into the car. “They’ve been good about keeping them off the set,” Gregor said as he put the car in gear and squealed somewhat unnecessarily out of our spot. “But they’ve been following me to and from Teo’s house daily.” It seemed he was going to have some explaining to do to the Countess once these pictures hit, but at the moment, I didn’t care. “I guess that’s the price you pay,” I commented. “I’m sure it’s a drag, especially when you’re somewhere really mundane, like the grocery store.” “Fortunately, I manage to get out of a lot of domestic tasks,” Gregor said. “I keep a very good housekeeper at home. And my town in Italy is so small, I manage to live very quietly. But if I’m on the road, at the coffee shop at nine a.m. with a bad case of bed head, or a hangover, the last thing you want is someone jumping out of the bushes to take a snap of you.” “I guess I should appreciate being anonymous,” I said. “Nobody recognizes writers, except maybe Stephen King, or Thomas Wolfe. That white suit, you know.” “Consider it a blessing,” Gregor replied. We discussed the filming during the drive to Sevilla. Gregor seemed pleased overall with how it was proceeding. “Just being able to keep on schedule is a major feat,” he said, his laser
19
eyes concentrating on the winding road. “Teo’s a real genius in managing all the competing egos on the set. Meaning Sheila’s, mostly. And Vanessa’s quite adept at taking charge when she can tell he’s had enough for a while. The two of them make a good team.” Finally, we arrived at the city and drove through its narrow, crowded streets to the old section, which was all tall white stucco buildings and cobbled walks. We parked and walked through a maze of old houses and shops, up some very steep steps, and found ourselves at an iron archway on the third floor of one of the buildings. Gregor winked at me and placed his hand on my arm. “This won’t disappoint,” he said. He was right. The atmosphere was quiet and candlelit, the servers polite and unobtrusive. We had a table in the corner which afforded a view of the large plaza below, where street lamps were only just starting to come on. Dusk comes late to Spain this time of year. People were milling about, sitting at tables with their wine or coffee, greeting each other, ambling along with their shopping bags, and generally enjoying themselves in a leisurely way that few Americans ever experience. “It’s a different world here, isn’t it?” Gregor asked, as if reading my thoughts. I nodded. “In the very best way.” He ordered a bottle of wine and we perused the menu. My Spanish was pretty good, and I was able to answer him when he quizzed me on some of the entrees. “I’ve gotten rusty myself, I’m afraid,” he told me after we had ordered. “My mother still chides me for not keeping up with all I learned as a child.” “What made you come here for the summers?” I asked. “I thought all British people spent their summers at Cornwall and places like that.” Gregor laughed. “Where it’s too cold to even put your toes in the water. No, we came here because my mother had a friend who lived here. We could never have afforded to stay here on our own, but her friend, who had no husband or children, was glad for the company. So the three of us got along famously.” Three of us. Gregor’s father was conspicuously absent from this picture. “So you’re an only child, then?” I inquired as our first course of tapas arrived. “Yes.” Gregor filled my half-empty wineglass. He served me some of the pear and arugala salad, then helped himself. “My mother was only eighteen when I was born. As we were so close in age, she was more like an older sister than a mother. She still is, in fact.”
20
“So your mother, she’s still in the UK?” I asked, lifting my fork. “Lives outside London in a neat little cottage. She gardens, and volunteers at her church, and is generally one of those helpful and nosy neighbors that London suburbs are full of.” Gregor smiled. “And your father?” I couldn’t help asking. His face, so placid a moment before, hardened. “I never knew my father,” he said, lifting his glass. He took a deliberate swallow, then looked at me. “I was a bastard. Still am, in some ways.” I tried to smile. “That- was that hard on you? And your mother?” “Not on her. Apparently he was in the navy- enlisted the day she told him she was pregnant. She never heard from him again. I gather she liked it that way.” “But you…” Gregor’s lips tightened. “Sure, it was hard,” he said, trying to make his voice light. But I felt the weight behind his words. “I always wondered, you know. Walking down the street, I would see a man about the right age and coloring, and I’d wonder…” His voice trailed off, and he stared down at the table for a minute, tracing his silverware with his fingertip. “I went through a very hard time in my life trying to accept that I’d never know him.” I waited, my own heart heavy as I tried to imagine how that would feel. “When I became famous,” Gregor continued, fixing his eyes on mine again, “I figured this is it, he’ll approach me now, ask for money perhaps, or even forgiveness, ask if we could start all over again, become friends.” Gregor stopped himself, as though ashamed that he’d put so much thought into this. “But he never has.” “Is he still alive?” I whispered. “I don’t know.” Gregor rubbed his chin. “I asked my mother recently if she knew, but she said she didn’t. She doesn’t seem to care, and I suppose it’s hard for her to see that I do.” “That’s a lot to carry around,” I commented. “We all have our crosses,” Gregor mused. He looked at me as the server switched out our plates in preparation for the next course. “So what’s yours?” I thought for a minute as lamb and potatoes were brought out. “Not anything that heavy,” I replied slowly, spooning some onto his plate. “Just a sort of mildly boring suburban
21
upbringing. I left home as soon as I could, for college. Afterwards I backpacked around Europe for a while. I started writing Time on that trip, actually,” I added, smiling at the memory. “Oh, really?” Gregor said with interest. “I was so inspired by all the places I saw, all the history,” I explained. “Back in the States, you can’t just go around the corner and see a thousand-year-old cathedral. I felt like I could always keep it with me if I wrote about it all. I did the CIA research when I got home, and the book just came together.” “Did you always want to write, then?” “Oh, I always did write, growing up. I wasn’t much into sports or anything, so I guess it was my outlet.” “I think I found that with acting,” Gregor said. “I started doing theater in my teens. I was a bit of a troublemaker in school, so a teacher I had actually kind of forced me into it. She thought it would keep me busy and off the streets.” He laughed. “She was right, apparently. I actually did that whole off-Broadway thing- only in the UK, it’s called the West End. I nearly starved as well.” The server took away the lamb and set a platter of seafood in front of us. I smiled at Gregor over it. “Hard to believe now, isn’t it?” “Oh, I still remember getting the heat in my flat turned off in January and almost burning the place down lighting a fire,” Gregor chuckled. “Sometimes it seems like yesterday.” “How’d you get your big break?” I asked. Gregor chewed for a minute before replying. Then he said nonchalantly, “It was Clara, actually. She was a big sponsor of amateur theatre- still is, in fact. She saw me in the lead in Twelfth Night and liked it so much she brought a producer friend of hers to see it the next afternoon. He got me some auditions for a few TV shows. Bit parts followed, and then finally my big break came in Teo’s movie.” “Wow,” I said. I tasted the anchovies, which were delicious, nothing like the salty, slimy bits you find on pizza. “And you and Clara were together from then on?” “Oh, no,” Gregor said. “You don’t read many tabloids, do you? No, we remained friends, but once I started having money and getting recognized, I responded by dating as many women as possible.” He smiled ruefully. “It was not the period in my life I’m most proud of. I was drinking quite a bit too. Everything was too easy.”
22
I nodded. “What do you think turned it around for you?” “Oh, there was no dramatic road-to-Damascus moment. I didn’t check myself into rehab or smash up my car or anything like that. Well, not completely smash up my car, but perhaps I did have a fender-bender or two.” His eyes twinkled, then grew serious again. “I just gradually started to be tired of feeling terrible every morning and avoiding women’s phone calls rather than tell them straight out that I wasn’t interested in them. I reconnected with Clara, and we started to do quieter, more civilized things.” I looked down at my plate, my appetite suddenly vanishing. “And now you’re engaged.” The comment hung between us. Gregor refilled our glasses, signaled to the server for more wine. “None for me,” I said quickly. “Trying to stay on your guard, huh?” he teased. “You’re probably right, we have an early flight out tomorrow. Agua de botella, por favor,” he ordered. “When’s the wedding?” I asked quietly when the server had left. Gregor broke a piece of bread. “Not set yet.” We were silent for a minute while the server returned and poured us some water. Then I said, lightly, “I was engaged, until a few months ago.” Gregor’s eyes studied mine. “Was it a bad break-up?” he asked. “If you mean in the sense of broken plates and restraining orders, no. I just…I just got cold feet, I guess.” “So you broke it off?” Gregor seemed intrigued. “Usually it’s the man who does that, isn’t it?” “Jack’s a nice guy. We were together a couple of years before the engagement. There was nothing really wrong. It just didn’t feel right.” I sighed. “That sounds so lame. He deserves more credit than that.” “Interesting.” Gregor rubbed his chin, and then his face broke into a wide smile. “It just didn’t feel right. I think, you know, that I can relate to that.” After we had finished dinner and left the restaurant, we took a stroll along the river. Street lamps bathed the cobbled path in a hazy glow. Lovers passed us, arms around each other, whispering their secrets. Gregor took my arm. I leaned on him, my head a little heavy with wine.
23
“I don’t usually tell people I’ve just met about my father,” he said after a minute. “Most of the people I meet, especially women, don’t take the time to draw in breath, they’re so busy talking about themselves.” “I learned to listen from an early age,” I replied. “I’d rather listen than talk. You learn more about people that way, and life in general.” “Useful if you’re a writer.” Gregor’s grip on my arm tightened. “It’s so beautiful here tonight, isn’t it?” I had to agree. The water lapped gently against the bank, shimmering with the reflection of a thousand Sevillan lights. Before us, the Torre de Oro, supposedly the final resting place of the gold Columbus brought from the New World, rose up in sand-colored glory. The air was balmy and smelled of oranges. Gregor and I sat on a bench and stared into the water for a few minutes. Then he said quietly, “Look at me, Elise.” I turned to face him. He brushed my hair off my shoulder, and then leaned in. “We have to be very careful,” he said. Then, without warning, his lips pressed against mine. His kiss did not disappoint. Thank God I was sitting, as my legs would surely have given out if I weren’t. When we finally broke apart, I whispered, my fingers to my lips, “Wow.” He laughed. He reached up and took my hand in his, his warm strong fingers wrapped around mine. “You are so lovely, Elise, did you know that?” he whispered. The warm Sevillan night engulfed us, drawing us close to her, as we were prey to all the magic of her exotic sights and scents. I could have sat on that bench and kissed him for the next hundred years. Movies, countesses and paparazzi be damned. 4. The flight to Budapest was not long, and after disembarking from our chartered plane, we were whisked through some very perfunctory customs at the airport before piling into cars and buses to take us to our first location, a busy downtown neighborhood. The scene was going to be one where Gregor’s character Max found out his colleague had betrayed him to the Kazakh mafia, and there would be a bar brawl involved. The locals peered at us with interest as we all
24
tromped into the hotel. The actors scattered for their wardrobe, hair and make-up transformations. Budapest was a bustling, newly moneyed city very intent on shaking off the last vestiges of communism. I hadn’t been in several years, and I was impressed with the sleek new cars filling the streets, the stylish men and women who hurried by, clutching Italian handbags and sporting Levis and Nike attire. There were still a few older women wearing their traditional headscarves as they pulled their shopping baskets back from the open-air markets, but they seemed largely outnumbered. The hotel was large and rambling, full of winding staircases and secret passageways. It was rumored that residents had hidden priceless artifacts here during the Hungarian Revolution, to keep them from being looted and destroyed by the Stalinist regime. We had booked the entire building to use as a staging area as well as to sleep in for the next three nights. My room had a small balcony overlooking the street. I stood and breathed in deeply the smell of the city: car exhaust mixed with cooking from the street vendors selling virsli (sausage) on a bun and palacsinta (pancakes) stuffed with meat or cheese. I suddenly realized I hadn’t consumed anything other than a cup of coffee on board the plane. I’d been too busy thinking about Gregor and the memory of his lips against mine. Molly knocked on the door and entered carrying a tray of pastries, jam and a coffee pot with two cups. “Thought you might be hungry,” she said, setting the tray down on the small carved desk near the ornate four-poster bed. “Thanks,” I said. “You read my mind.” We pulled up chairs and sat down. Molly poured coffee while I served us the pastries. Then she said nonchalantly, passing me the cream, “So how was your date last night? I couldn’t tell a thing on the plane this morning. You wouldn’t even look at him.” I felt color creeping into my cheeks. This was true; I had studiously avoided Gregor this morning, partly out of fear that some tabloid photographer had infiltrated the crew and would snap a picture that would appear in Clara’s daily newspaper, and partly out of fear that I would leap into his arms again like a gymnast performing a vault exercise. “It was nice,” I answered truthfully. “He’s a great guy.” Molly spread some jam on the roll she was holding. “I thought I read somewhere that he was engaged,” she said innocently. “To that blonde woman who came to San Luca.”
25
I made a face at her. Molly’s blue eyes fixed earnestly on mine. “I’m only saying this because I care about you, Elise. I just don’t want you to get hurt. You’re kind of on the rebound, you know. And Gregor has a big reputation for being a playboy.” I smiled. “I’m on the rebound? I’m the one who broke up with Jack, remember?” “Yeah, I know. But still, you guys were together a long time.” Molly popped the last bite of her roll into her mouth. “And I happen to know that wasn’t your mom you called the other night when we were out.” “Well, everyone makes mistakes sometimes. I’m sure Jack knows I only called him because I was drunk.” I pushed my plate away. “And anyway, Gregor and I are just friends.” I doubt my voice sounded sincere to her; it sure didn’t sound sincere to my own ears. Gregor had walked me back to my room the night before, but the evening ended with a very chaste kiss on the cheek. I think he was too afraid of the lurking cameras to do more than that in a well-lit hotel corridor. But the look in his eyes when he turned away had clearly told me that it was as difficult for him to leave as it was for me to see him go. It was like taking one bite of a delicious dessert and having the waiter suddenly come and whisk the plate away. I had certainly thought about inviting him in, but I decided to play good girl- for the time being, anyway. “Okay,” Molly was saying now. “I trust you. I just don’t trust him.” That made two of us. Gregor innocently bumped up against me when we were leaving the hotel a little while later. “Hello, stranger,” he said in a low voice. He looked beautiful in a dark suit and winecolored shirt. “You’ve been avoiding me. Afraid you can’t keep your hands off me in public, are you?” “You wish,” I answered with a smile. We entered the darkened bar where the first sequence was to take place. It was a smoky place, all mahogany wood and green upholstery, with a somewhat sticky floor. I stood behind the cameras and watched as Gregor and Houston Mill, the actor playing his friend-turnedbetrayer, discussed the scene with Teo. Teo motioned to me to join them. He introduced me to Houston, who was tall and dark-haired, olive-complexioned. He was handsome, though he
26
seemed somewhat surly. He nodded at me. “Good screenplay,” he said gruffly, as we shook hands. “I told her the same thing,” Gregor chimed in, with a wink at me. I ignored him. “Thanks,” I told Houston. “I’m looking forward to seeing how it all comes together.” Houston smiled. He had a nice smile when he chose to use it. “Gentlemen,” Teo said, gesturing to them. “Shall we?” The cameras started rolling. Gregor sat moodily at the bar, sipping Max’s trademark Scotch and soda and eyeing the local patrons somewhat uneasily. Houston, playing the role of Scott Trenton, slid onto the stool beside him, signaled the appropriately suspicious-looking bartender for a drink, and the dialogue began. I sat behind the cameras, a copy of the script in my lap, scribbling notes as they filmed. I generally only offered comments to Teo at the end of each day’s shoot, unless he asked or if something seemed really jarring to me. So far, I was pleased with how the movie was coming, though I knew much of what I liked could end up on the infamous cutting-room floor. I was particularly impressed with Gregor’s American drawl (Max hailed from Tennessee). Then again, I have heard that Southern accents are cousin to English ones. Houston wasn’t bad either, but he didn’t come close to radiating Gregor’s charisma. My phone vibrated. I checked it automatically, and was greeted with a text from Jack: CATCHING REDEYE TONIGHT TO PEST. WHAT HOTEL RU AT? Double damn! Why was the man so suddenly hot to see me, after three months of nearinvisibility? I scowled and returned my phone to my pocket. The thought of him coming was like having a glass of cold water being poured down my back during a snowstorm. I learned the apparent cause of his eagerness about twenty minutes later. One of the assistants on the set was sitting at the end of the bar near me, her laptop open, surfing the Net. I glimpsed an entertainment headline on one of the search sites: MARVELOUS MCKEON OUT WITH SEXY SCREENWRITER: WHAT WILL THE COUNTESS SAY? Underneath it was a shot of Gregor and me getting into his car last night as we were leaving my hotel. Shit. After a pretty violent fight scene, in which Max and Scott threw chairs and people at each other, smashed glasses and upended tables, we took a much-needed break. Gregor was breathing
27
heavily as he dropped down next to me in one of the few unbroken chairs. “I really must give these up,” he said, taking out a cigarette and lighting it. He looked at me. “You must be a closet sadist, inflicting that much pain on your main character.” “Most of that was Teo’s idea,” I said. “In my version, you were just supposed to rough Scott up a little.” I pushed a bottle of water towards him. He took a swig. “Thanks.” Little beads of sweat stood out on his upper lip. I tried not to look at them, finding myself thinking about how they would taste. I leaned in closer. “There’s a picture of us from last night, leaving the hotel,” I told him quietly. “Online.” He drew so deeply on his cigarette that I heard crackling. I hoped it wasn’t his lungs. “Just one?” he asked, blowing out a cloud of smoke. “That I saw.” He shrugged and coughed. “Don’t worry about it, Elise. Clara knew I was taking you to dinner. I’ve nothing to hide.” “I’m glad she’s so understanding,” I replied. “Apparently it’s spurred my ex to jump on the next plane to Budapest. He’ll be here tomorrow.” A slow crooked grin crossed Gregor’s face. “Then we don’t have much time left, do we?” We wrapped for the day at around eight, and staggered out of the bar into the soft evening light, blinking a little, like bats emerging from a cave. I could tell Gregor was tired; his broad shoulders slumped, his head was down. But he gave me a wink. “I know a great place to get some authentic local food,” he told me, dropping back behind the others as we all walked the short two blocks back to the hotel. “Let’s try and foil the paparazzi. Take a cab to City Park and tell the driver to drop you off at the Castle. I’ll meet you by the main entrance in, say, thirty minutes?” I was intrigued, so back at the hotel, I showered and changed quickly, and obeyed Gregor’s instructions. Fortunately, the Castle (Vajdahunyad vára) was a famous landmark, and the cab driver understood my English well enough to get me there. I waited in the taxi until I saw a familiar figure emerge from the shadows of the great replica of a Translyvanian castle. I paid the driver and hurried out, my high heels clicking on the cobbled walk.
28
I looked up at the castle and shuddered a little. It was an impassive stone and brick Gothic structure, with spires that stabbed the darkening sky. “I can very easily picture Vlad Dracula coming right out that door,” I said to Gregor. He smiled and took my arm. “Now, there are some very famous restaurants around here,” he said, leading us away from the castle and down a less-busy side street. “But I’ve found that the best ones are usually off the main drag, away from the tourists.” He was right. He found us a little hole-in-the-wall that served excellent ethnic Hungarian food: a spicy paprika stew with dumplings, cold fruit soup, salad, and all kinds of cheeses. This was accompanied by a full-bodied red wine, known as, interestingly enough, Bull’s Blood. We finished the meal with pancakes stuffed with nuts and drizzled in chocolate sauce, along with a white dessert wine. I leaned back as the waiter took away the last plates. I pulled my wine glass towards me, and sighed, looking at Gregor. “That was amazing,” I said. “How did you know about this place?” “I was in Pest a few years ago, and I always ask the concierges about the best local restaurants,” Gregor replied. “I have yet to be steered wrong. I do have some rules, though. No brains, intestines or insects. Andrew Zimmern I’m not.” “Those are good rules,” I said. After dinner, we went back to the Castle, and wandered around the grounds for a little while. It was a soft evening and the park was full of couples and families out for a stroll, or going on some of the amusement rides, or just sitting on a blanket and enjoying the warm weather and the view. We stopped before a statue of a hooded reclining figure, his downturned face almost invisible in the dark. “What’s this?” I asked, fascinated. He reminded me of a monk. “Anonymus,” Gregor read on the white marble base. “I think he was an early writer. I remember hearing that if you touched his pen, it would bring you luck.” I touched the metal pen in his hand. “I could use some luck,” I said. Gregor smiled and took my hand. “Isn’t it nice to be anonymous, ourselves?” he asked. “I feel a bit like a vampire. We can only be together at night.” He was right, at least for now. So we strolled along for a while, enjoying the darkness that protected us. I imagine Dracula himself would have approved.
29
We took his chauffeured car back to the hotel. We were both staying there, albeit on different floors. When he walked me to my room, I looked up at his face and said quietly, “Come back in ten minutes.” In exactly ten minutes, there was a soft tap at my door. I opened it and Gregor slipped in. “Close it,” he whispered. We stood there for a minute, looking at each other. I was breathing quickly, and I wondered if he was too. He reached out and touched the filmy nightshirt I had thrown on; I hadn’t exactly packed my sexiest lingerie. “Are you sure about this?” he asked very seriously. “Because I am.” I took a step towards him. “Yes,” I answered. I couldn’t help it; it was like my whole body was drawn to him by some force of nature over which I was powerless. I had never felt this way about anyone. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me to him, in a kiss that very nearly had me melting onto the faded Turkish rug under our feet. We made our way over to the bed, and as he pushed me gently down onto it, I realized I was trembling deliciously from head to toe. Gregor’s mouth trailed along my cheek, then down to the skin just under my ear. I felt my breath catch in my throat. It had admittedly been a while, but my whole body was suddenly aflame. He lifted my nightshirt over my head and then continued his journey downwards, his lips grazing the skin of my breasts and stomach. I made him stop so I could pull his t-shirt off and wrap my arms around him, running my fingers along the smoothness of his back. He was incredibly warm. “Mmm,” I murmured as he pressed against me. That was the last conscious thought I remember having. The next one, about twenty or so minutes later, as we lay tangled in each other and the crisp white sheets, was that I was a very bad girl for doing this with someone else’s fiancé. And that I would do it again in a moment, given the chance. Gregor, for his part, seemed unrepentant. “You’re as lovely in bed as out of it,” he said softly, using his finger to trace my lips, then my neck, into the hollows of my collarbones. “I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did.”
30
I listened to the steady drum of his heart as I rested my head on his chest. “Yes,” I whispered. “That was…amazing.” Gregor chuckled and reached for a pillow to prop up his head while keeping his other arm around me, like he was afraid I would get away. “Are you sorry?” he asked. I shook my head. “I guess I should be. But no.” I paused. “Are you?” “God, no.” I laughed. We lay there for a few minutes in drowsy contentment. Then he said with a sigh, “I suppose this complicates things a bit, doesn’t it?” “I don’t know,” I answered. I pulled away from him slightly to look at his face. His blue eyes were thoughtful. “I guess I’ve always tried to keep some kind of moral code,” I added, running my fingers lightly down his chest. “Sleeping with another woman’s man is definitely not in it.” I gave a short laugh. “Until today, that is.” “I understand.” He pressed his lips together, as if uncertain how to respond to this. “You care for her, don’t you?” I prodded. It hurt a little to ask this. He nodded. “As I told you before, she’s helped me change my wicked ways. It would be hard not to appreciate a person like that.” “Yes.” I couldn’t argue. “So we- you and I- shouldn’t do this anymore.” “I don’t like that option either.” I just stared at him. He smiled sheepishly. “You have a better idea?” I challenged. He ran his hand through his hair, then stroked my shoulder absently. “I suppose I’m going to have to make some decisions,” he said slowly. “It’s not fair to either of you lovelies to string you both along.” A little puff of air escaped my lips. “No,” I agreed finally. Gregor gave me a rueful smile. “I hate to say this, but I have to go. I’m hoping I wasn’t followed down here by some bloody reporter. Will you be all right?” I’m not sure if he expected me to throw a tantrum that he couldn’t spend the night. “Of course,” I replied coolly. He extricated himself from me and got his clothes on, slowly. He didn’t seem to want to leave. I pulled the sheet up around me and watched him. His body was amazing. It was like watching a moving work of art.
31
When he was dressed, he sat back down on the edge of the bed. “I hope you’re not upset with me,” he said, smoothing a lock of my unruly hair away from my face. I shook my head. “Not upset. Just…wishing you could stay. I think I would like to wake up in your arms.” He kissed my forehead. “I’ll see you on the set tomorrow, all right?” Jack suddenly intruded on my thoughts. “My ex will be here. I’ll have to show him around town, I guess.” “Make sure you go on a tour of Saint Stephen’s Basilica,” Gregor said, getting up from the bed. “But don’t take him to the restaurant we went to last night. I want that to be our memory.” Our memory. I liked the way he said that. 5. “So you’re enjoying being a big-time screenwriter?” Jack asked as we walked through the interior of St. Stephen’s Basilica late the next afternoon. I tilted my head back to look up at the soaring gold cupola high above us. The angels painted inside each gilded square peered back down at me. “Don’t call me that,” I said, refocusing on Jack, who was messing with his fancy camera, trying to frame a good shot. “I’m just a writer who happens to be working on a movie.” Jack took a few steps back, squinted, fiddled with the lenses, repositioned himself, and finally took the damn picture. “That’s like me getting to shoot the cover of Rolling Stone and saying I’m a photographer who just happens to be working on a magazine. Don’t sell yourself short, Elise.” He couldn’t quite keep the bitterness out of his tone. Jack was a photographer by profession, which sounds cooler than it really was, because his day job consisted of taking photos of kids inside a Sears studio at a New Jersey mall. He occasionally freelanced and had a few magazine credits to his name, but most of them were small and locally published. Still, he refused to give up, for which I had always admired him.
32
“It has been interesting,” I admitted as we continued walking through the cathedral. We stopped at each little chapel honoring a different saint, admiring the stained glass windows and intricate carvings. “It’s a lot more work than I ever would have imagined, though.” It had been a strange sort of day so far, partly because of what had happened between Gregor and me the night before. All morning long, back at the sticky bar, we had to play it totally cool, but I couldn’t tear my eyes off him long enough to even glance down at the script sitting uselessly in my lap. He in turn flubbed his lines more than once, and even screwed up throwing a prop chair at Houston, which glanced harmlessly off the wall instead of hitting its target. Teo seemed to suspect that I was the reason for Gregor’s distraction. When I received Jack’s text that he was waiting for me at our hotel, Teo didn’t seem sorry to see me go. “Have a good time sightseeing,” he said, a somewhat relieved expression on his face. “See you tomorrow, yes?” Seeing Jack again had been unsettling too. He hugged me a little too tightly for a little too long, and I’m pretty sure he was smelling my hair as he did so. When we finally pulled apart, his face looked almost stricken. “I’ve missed you a lot, Elise,” he said in a low voice. “Guess I didn’t realize how much until I saw you again.” Oh boy. Was this going to be a fun visit. “Ready to go do some sightseeing?” I had asked brightly, avoiding his gaze. Now, we finally exited the church and I waited patiently while Jack took some outside shots. His constant repositioning of himself and his camera drew the amused stares of a few onlookers. Then we walked slowly away towards the Parliament building, our next tour stop. It was a beautiful day in Old Pest; the late afternoon light glittered on the Danube, and people ambled lazily by, their faces turned upward to the sun. We sat for a minute on a low wall running beside the walkway and stared down into the water. “Why did you call me the other night?” Jack asked suddenly. I shrugged and swung my legs. “I was drunk.” “I’ve been waiting three months for you to call, and you finally do it when you’re across the ocean and loaded?” His voice clearly communicated his disbelief. “It goes both ways, Jack,” I said stubbornly, looking out over the river at Buda on the other side. “You didn’t call me either.”
33
“You said you needed some time to yourself. Remember?” I remembered that now. It had been a strange time, when we broke up. I know I cried as I helped him packed his things, but I was also grateful for the peace again, the stillness of my own apartment, by myself. “Yes,” I said. “I guess.” “So what have you learned?” He sounded like a grade school teacher. “What do you mean, what have I learned?” I asked, looking at him. His waves of brown hair blew in the breeze. He reminded me of the description of the Little Prince in one of my favorite childhood books. Only in brunette. He was acting like a little prince, too. “I can tell you what I’ve learned,” Jack continued slowly, as though I hadn’t spoken. “I don’t like being without you. And I’d like to try again. Try us again.” Oh boy. Not exactly how I felt. I mean, sure, I’d missed Jack and all, the good times we’d had, certain things about him. He was generally a sweet guy. But I remembered so many mediocre times as well, and some that were downright awful. I guess I’d gotten over him, at least partly. Apparently the feeling was not mutual. He was watching me, his soft brown eyes waiting for my response. I decided to stall. “That’s a lot to think about, Jack.” He rubbed his nose. “You’ve had three months, Elise. Don’t tell me you haven’t made up your mind.” I sighed. “Look, Jack, you know I’ll always care about you.” I put my hand on his arm. “But I feel like we should both just move on. We should just kind of try to be friends, you know?” “Friends?” He spat the word out like it was a bug he’d bitten into. “Is that so terrible?” He got up and walked away from me a few paces. I sat there, feeling both sorry and stupid. After a minute, he turned and came back to me. “Is this because you’re dating that movie star now?” I shook my head, avoiding his eyes. “We’re not dating.” “He just wants to fuck you, you know. He’s notorious for jumping into bed with anyone he’s working on a movie with.”
34
I dared not let him see how unnerving his words were to me. Partly because I suspected he was right. “We went out to dinner, exactly once. Besides, he’s engaged.” Jack sighed. “I don’t mean to sound like a total asshole, Elise,” he said, suddenly contrite. “Well, you’re being pretty damn good at it.” I jumped up and started to walk away from him. He caught up with me and put his hand on my arm. I noticed a couple of people watching us, smirking a little at the obvious lovers’ quarrel taking place. Minus the lovers’ part, I felt like shouting at them. I glared at him for a minute. Then he sighed and took his arm away. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt,” he said plaintively. “You deserve someone better than him. Who would treat you better.” Like me, I’m sure he added silently. I shook my head slowly. “There’s nothing going on between us, so it’s not even worth talking about.” I started walking again. “Listen, I have to get going. Teo wants to meet with me to talk about tomorrow’s shoot.” We were quiet on the taxi ride back to the hotel. Jack, thankfully, had found a room at a pension a few blocks away. He couldn’t have afforded the hotel we were staying at, not after what I imagined a last-minute trip to Budapest must have cost him. I felt a little guilty about that. I hadn’t asked him to come, though. When the cab pulled up to my hotel, I reached for the door handle. “How long are you staying here?” I asked curiously over my shoulder. He couldn’t have taken more than a couple of days off work. Jack shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t really feel like going back to New York. To my crappy job and my crappy apartment. I might just hang out, backpack around Europe a while. See the world.” I was startled. “So you’re just going to quit your job and abandon your apartment?” I asked, turning back to face him. “Those are kind of big life decisions to make in a day.” “It hasn’t been in a day. I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Making a change, I mean. I guess us breaking up spurred me to it.” He smiled a little, the first genuine smile I’d seen all day. “Wow. Well, you should come by the set tomorrow,” I said. “It’s pretty cool, watching the filming. I already had a pass sent to your hotel for you.”
35
“Okay.” I leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’ll call you in the morning,” I said quietly and exited the car. I tried not to notice the pained look on his face as the taxi pulled away. At around ten that night, I was getting ready for bed when there was a knock at the door of my room. I opened it to admit Gregor. He’d been out having dinner with Houston, Sheila and Vanessa, while I met with Teo. “Mind if I come in?” he asked, glancing quickly around as though making sure I was alone. “Of course,” I said, stepping back. “I thought you would be in bed by now,” I added, putting a hand to my face, feeling a little embarrassed at being caught in sweats and a t-shirt, my make-up scrubbed away. “Your bed,” I amended hastily. “I’m about to turn in,” he said, though he grinned at my words. “Bloody exhausted.” He sat down in one of two easy chairs in the room. “How’d it go with your old fellow?” His voice sounded slightly slurred, like he’d been drinking. I could smell the whiskey and smoke on him, comforting smells. “Oh, all right, I guess.” I remained standing, my hands folded across my chest. “About as well as I expected. He wants to get back together,” I said carefully, watching him for a reaction. Gregor merely looked thoughtful. “He still has a torch for you, then?” He rubbed his chin, seemingly apprehensive about the answer. “I guess.” I sat down on the edge of my bed. “I don’t, though. I’m not denying he’s a good guy,” I added, feeling guilty again as I remembered Jack’s face as I exited the cab this afternoon. “It took me a while to get over him, but I’m not about to go down that road again.” Gregor nodded. “I understand.” “His next plan is to backpack around Europe for a while.” I paused. “He seems like a little lost soul.” “Poor guy,” Gregor said, sounding slightly relieved. “I missed watching you this afternoon,” I burst out impulsively, eager to change the subject. “I met with Teo just now, and he said you were great.”
36
“He did, did he?” Gregor took out his cigarettes. “I’m sore all over. Those Kazakh thugs really roughed me up. Mind if I light up?” “It’s okay.” I watched him, mesmerized. “You can use a double, Gregor,” I added, suddenly remembering what we were talking about. “Nobody expects you to do all your own stunts.” “Doubles are for weenies.” He blew a cloud of smoke at the ceiling. I laughed. “Well, you could always go for a massage.” “I’d rather have you give me one than Tammy.” She was the on-set physical therapist, always at the ready to rub down sore muscles. She was cute, so I felt flattered. “I’d rather give you one,” I said. I went over behind his chair. He relaxed as I started to massage his neck and shoulders in slow, circular motions. “This is the stuff,” he said drowsily. “I may just fall asleep in this chair.” “I would be okay with that,” I replied, gently pressing the knots out of his muscles. “Of course, the bed might be more comfortable,” Gregor mumbled. I paused. “Uh…” “I really ought to go,” Gregor said, as though suddenly realizing that we might be getting ourselves into trouble again. He sat up straight and put out his cigarette. “I may even have been followed here.” I came around to look at him in the face. “There’s no reporters in the hotel, are there?” I asked. “I can’t imagine one or two aren’t trying to sneak in.” Gregor rubbed his eyes and got up from the chair. “You understand, don’t you?” he added, putting his arms around me. He held me tightly for a minute, resting his chin on top of my head. I could tell that he was sorry as I was that he couldn’t stay. “I know, I know,” I said, tilting my head back for his kiss. “I’ll see you in the morning, then.” At around seven the next morning, I arrived at the neighborhood which was to serve as the day’s set. Gregor was already dressed and getting his makeup done for the day’s shoot, which involved a footrace through an outdoor market. It was to proceed to a car chase through
37
the winding hills above Buda and eventually end in one of the region’s famous caves. I was excited to see the cave again; I had explored it on my original trip that had spurred me to write the book, but that was years ago now. The footrace and the cave scene were ambitiously to be shot today, with extra time tomorrow to finish up the cave footage and then move on to the car chase. Ruddy-faced policemen were helping herd the extras into their places before the scene was to begin. Carts and stalls piled high with traditional foods and goods were already in place; an advance crew had been there since the day we arrived getting the streets and sidewalks ready. The race would really only cover a few blocks, but the camera angles and other tricks would help make it look like it went much farther. Jack showed up just as the actors were getting into final position. I was standing out of the way, chewing my lip, wondering if they would ever start. He came over to me and flashed the pass I had sent over to his pension. “Thanks for this,” he said, looking around. “This is really cool.” I nodded. “I know.” He spotted Gregor over by a newspaper stand. “Wow, that’s really him?” He craned his neck. “Where’s the chick? Sheila whatever-her-name-is.” “She’s not in this scene. She shows up later, at the cave.” “Oh, right.” Jack had read the novel, though I hadn’t shared the screenplay with him. “Forgot about the cave. I liked that part.” “Yeah. I’m glad we’ve got something besides the usual car and boat chases. Teo already threw in a few more than I had in the original script.” We were interrupted by the sound of the clapperboard and Teo’s shout of, “Action!” In the next moment, a Kazakh henchman leapt down from a roof onto the top of a newsstand, and the chase was on. It was fun to watch; I knew they had blocked the action on a studio lot back in California, but it was nothing like watching them tearing through the streets of old Pest, knocking over pastry stalls and leaping over blankets spread with pocketbooks and scarves. There was almost no dialogue except for Max’s occasional polite utterance of “Excuse me,” to a shopkeeper or mother with a baby pram. Eventually, after a few takes, he managed to escape by shimmying down a rain gutter, jumping onto the roof of a car, and into the driver’s lap, who happened to
38
be…Sheila, as Lenore, conveniently searching for him to warn him the Kazakhs were hot on his trail. “Surprise,” I told Jack, who was watching everything with a rapt expression. “I didn’t give that part away.” “And cut!” Teo yelled as the car zoomed away. The car didn’t actually leave the set; it stopped at the end of the street. The editing crew would splice in the trip out of the city and into the hills later on. Sheila and Gregor unfolded themselves somewhat delicately; they both looked hot and rumpled. Gregor’s forehead was dripping, and he’d only just been cleaned up five minutes before. They slowly approached Teo, Gregor mopping his forehead with the silk handkerchief that had stayed neatly in his pocket throughout the filming. An assistant brought them some water; the day had gotten warm. They all stood and talked for a few minutes while the rest of the crew milled around packing up their equipment and the extras headed for the catered lunch that had been laid out in the shade of one of the buildings. “Are you hungry?” Jack asked at my elbow. “Not right now,” I said somewhat irritably. “You go ahead.” Jack headed off to chat with Mike and Dylan, who were both camera operators. I waited until Sheila, Teo and Gregor came closer to where I was standing. Gregor gave me a tired smile. “Magnificent, no?” Teo boomed as though they’d just shot Hamlet’s soliloquy. “It was pretty awesome,” I agreed. “Yes, as you Americans say- awesome,” Teo agreed. Sheila smiled at me somewhat knowingly. “Are you enjoying the filming, Elise?” she asked, her dark eyes widening. It was the first time she’d paid me the slightest bit of attention, and I could easily guess why by the way she was looking from Gregor to me and then back again. “Yes,” I said cheerfully. “I’m learning so much from Teo.” “It is because I have such a great script to work from,” Teo said generously. “When I have that, I can make the magic happen.” He glanced at Gregor, who was drinking his water and trying to look nonchalant. “Yes, magic,” Sheila said with a little laugh. “Lots of magical things happen on movie sets, don’t they?” She tossed her head and gave Gregor a coy look through her eyelashes.
39
Teo hurriedly offered Sheila his arm. “Some lunch, no?” he said. “I am starving.” “See you two later,” she said sweetly as they walked off. I looked at her slim retreating back. “So, is she really like she seems?” I asked Gregor curiously. “You mean bitchy? Pretty much,” Gregor said. “She complained in the car that I put a hole in her slip. I mean, really! I practically broke my neck getting down that gutter and she’s whining about her clothes.” He smiled. “It was fun, though. I enjoyed that immensely.” “I hope you’re not too worn out for the next scene,” I said. “Have you been in the Pálvölgyi cave before?” “Not in years,” Gregor replied. “We ran through the cave scene out in L.A. on some old set from the 50s, I think. I’m looking forward to the real thing.” We faced each other a minute. Gregor took another swig of water and coughed a little. He squinted down at me. “I have some news,” he said. “Clara is coming in today. She called me this morning from the plane to tell me she was on her way. In fact, I have to check my messages. She’s probably already landed.” I felt my lips twist into a wry smile. “Apparently she’s a tabloid watcher like Jack?” “I have no idea. If she saw anything about us, she’d never tell me outright.” I sighed. I was finding it suddenly difficult to hide my displeasure at the mention of his fiancée. “Okay,” I said finally. “Thanks for the heads-up.” I slowly started to walk away. Gregor and Clara would stay a happy couple, no doubt, while I was stuck with the mopey Little Prince. Gregor was so handsome and debonair, why would I ever think I had a chance with him? I was obviously delusional. “Wait.” I turned around. “Yes?” I said politely. “I didn’t ask her to come, Elise,” Gregor said, coming towards me. “In fact, I didn’t want her to come.” My heart did a little happy dance. “Really?” I asked stupidly. Gregor smiled and very gently cupped my chin in his hand. “Really,” he said, his thumb stroking my cheek, just once. He took his hand away, suddenly remembering we were in the
40
middle of an entire movie set full of people and cameras. “I was hoping to spend some more time with you in Pest. I guess we’ll have to wait for St. Petersburg.” I couldn’t stop grinning. “I guess so.” As we were finishing lunch, I spotted a black Mercedes pull up and deposit Clara Lloyton on the sidewalk beside the catering tables. She was immaculate as usual, this time in a pale blue blouse and tan Capri pants. Her beaded sandals probably cost more than one month’s rent for my apartment. She immediately went up to Gregor and gave him a big kiss, which was the first time I’d ever seen her make such a showy display of affection. I turned away. Jack was watching me. “The other woman,” he said bemusedly. “Shut up.” I pushed past him to go find Molly. Once all the vans were packed with the remaining equipment, we headed out to the cave. A crew had started setting up the night before, getting all the still cameras in place. We all stood at the entrance to the cave and received a lecture from a big blonde Hungarian cave expert who was wearing hiking boots, shorts and a fleece. “It’s very slippery inside,” Yoni informed us. “If you have on sandals or high heels, you must change your shoes or stay outside.” He glared at us to emphasize his point. “You must remember not to touch the formations. It corrodes them. Try to minimize your impact on the environment inside.” You could tell he was clearly disgusted that we were even there. I looked at Clara in her sandals. She returned my stare with a bland smile. I don’t suppose she thought Yoni’s rules applied to her. It took a while to get everyone situated. Again, it was not a large area that was going to be used for filming. The cave itself was at least four miles long, twisting and turning through some passageways that were almost too narrow for a person to get through, so we were only using a portion of it. It had amazing formations, all dripping and slick and reminding me of root beer floats. The premise for using the cave was because it was supposedly the hiding place of some of the Kazakh mob’s secret papers and drugs, and Lenore and Max were going to try and seize them without being discovered. This was unlikely to succeed, as the cave was very well-guarded by thugs. It was also the hideout of one of the mob’s overlords, who was an unpleasant surprise awaiting them. Scott Trenton, also in the scene, had tipped the mob off that they were coming.
41
The scene started with Max coming into the cave, outfitted in rugged-looking clothing and boots, instead of his usual natty attire. He easily punched out the inept guards at the entrance, then radioed Lenore, who was coming in another entrance. “All clear for now,” he said. Very quietly, he took out his gun and sidled along the wall. Wardrobe had debated him having a spelunker’s helmet, but then decided it looked too goofy and settled for a small flashlight strapped to his waist. He paused, listened, then inched forward. He was moving from the large entrance into a narrower passage, and then another even narrower one that branched off from it. At the end of this passage were more evil henchmen, waiting with their guns. We couldn’t see Max as he moved through the tighter passages; only a single camera was in front of him. After he’d gone through, Teo, a couple of assistants, and Jack and I trailed behind him. I didn’t notice where Clara was; she may have gone on earlier with the rest of the crew into the large cavern that we were approaching. As we reached the end of the passage that opened up into this next chamber, Teo called out, “Now cut!” Everyone regrouped, the henchmen took their places, and the cameras adjusted to get the full view of the fight. The cavern was awesome, full of floor-to-ceiling cave formations, great hiding places from which Max and the thugs could shoot at each other. He took his place at the mouth of the passage, and the men waited across the room, crouched behind stalagmites. The Hungarian park service had been very particular about shooting inside the cave- no blanks, so everything would have to be digitally added in later. It was kind of funny to see them all shooting at each other with no noise or smoke. Finally, Max slew all five of them. Then he radioed Lenore, “I’m going in.” The hiding place of the goods (and the overlord) was down the next narrow passage, through a small chamber and into a recess up in the wall. Max inched down the passage, then into the chamber. He slowly scanned the room until he saw it: a hole no bigger than a couple of feet in diameter, high up in the slimy wall. The only way to get there was to clamber up some very slick-looking rocks. He would have to holster his gun to use both hands to climb. He radioed Lenore very softly. “I’m going to need backup.” She radioed back. “Where are you? I’ve lost your position.” “I’d love to talk about positions later on tonight, honey.” I winced at the corny line; it wasn’t my choice. “But I’m not waiting any longer. Call for backup.”
42
“Please, Max. I’ll be there in a minute…” “I’m going in,” he insisted softly and lowered his radio. Lenore came into the cavern, and each registered surprise at seeing the other. “Not without me you’re not,” she said. “Stay down there,” Max ordered. “It’s too dangerous for both of us.” We all held our breath somewhat as Gregor started to navigate the rocks. He was sure-footed, and looked like he knew what he was doing. But it was at least twenty feet above the ground, and he wasn’t using a rope. He poked his head into the entrance, which none of us from the ground could see inside. Max easily swung himself inside the chamber. There was no way Teo was getting up there, so Vanessa was in charge of what was going on in the hideout. We heard scuffling; then Max shouted down to Lenore, “I need backup! There’s someone up here!” Lenore frantically pressed buttons on her radio. “It’s not working! We’ve lost all contact!” “He’s getting away!” We heard running footsteps disappear farther into the chamber above. “We have to cut him off, dammit! That passage’s got to lead to the outside!” “Cut!” Teo boomed. Gregor looked at down at him from the entrance. “What?” he asked somewhat impatiently. “You be careful coming back down,” Teo ordered. “You’re expensive enough to insure as it is.” I noticed Clara then; she was standing off to one side, a thoughtful expression on her face. Jack was at my elbow, breathing a little hard. I wasn’t quite sure why. Gregor rolled his eyes. “I’ll be fine.” He made it down easily, then joined Lenore waiting for him at the bottom and recited his line, “Let’s get moving!” The words had barely left his lips when there was a rumbling from up above. We all looked up, Gregor included. I think I heard someone yell, “Get out of the way!” but it was at the same time that several large rocks came bouncing off the top of the pile Gregor had just descended. By then it was too late to escape. A big rock struck him squarely in the forehead.
43
Commotion ensued. Everything started happening at once, although in a way, it was also like everything was in slow motion. At first we all crowded around Gregor, until a cameraman yelled, “Move! There could be more coming!” So everyone backed away, leaving him lying there, clearly unconscious. He had a huge red gash on his forehead. I heard screaming, and I realized it was Clara. She ran back to Gregor, shouting incoherently at the rest of us, until I realized that she was saying, “Move him! Move him!” So two crew members grabbed his arms and dragged him away from the rocks. Jack actually ran forward and took Clara by her shoulder and pulled her away as well. It was providential that they did move him. A few more rocks tumbled down the pile, landing hard on the ground. Then I saw Yoni ease himself out of the hole and rappel swiftly but carefully down to us. I hadn’t even known he was up there. He had a large square case in his hands, which I now realized was a first-aid kit. “Now. Listen, all of you,” he said in his heavily accented English, suddenly taking charge. “We will not get cell phone reception in this cave. You,” he said to two cameramen, “I’ve just radioed for the ranger outside and he’s already calling an ambulance. Go meet the medics and bring them to us. You,” he said to Jack, gesturing to Clara, “calm her down, and try to keep her away from him.” He knelt beside Gregor and opened his kit. More tenderly than I could have imagined, he took some thick white gauze and pressed it to Gregor’s forehead. I stood close by, trembling as I watched Yoni bending over Gregor, checking his pulse, listening for breathing. I could see Gregor’s chest rising and falling, but other than that, he appeared totally lifeless. The blood was seeping through the gauze. Yoni took out another pad and put it over the first. He looked around and saw me and a couple of other crew members standing by uselessly. “Talk to him,” he said to me in a low voice. “No crying though, please, miss.” I knelt by Gregor and took his limp hand in my own. “Gregor,” I said quietly. “It’s me, Elise. You’re going to be okay, I promise. The doctors are going to be here in a minute.” His face was as white as the gauze on his forehead. I gave his hand a little squeeze. “We really need you to be okay, Gregor,” I said. My voice was trembling; I steadied it. I was not going to break down like Clara. “I need you to be okay.”
44
The camera crew from up above looked down anxiously through the hole; they were trapped for the moment, not wanting to risk dislodging more rocks by coming down. Vanessa and Houston and the Kazakh overlord were up there with them. Yoni glanced up at them. “We’ll set up the ladder to get you out once we get him off to hospital,” he said to them, focusing once more on Gregor. “In the ten years I’ve been working in this cave, I’ve never once seen those rocks move,” he added, more to himself than to anyone else. At the time, I didn’t give his observation much thought. But later on, I would come to realize the significance of his words. 6. Within about ten minutes, four medics in blue uniforms had arrived where we were. Somehow, they managed to get a stretcher through the cave, and they quickly lifted Gregor onto it, put a blanket over him, and strapped him in. They didn’t say much to anyone; I suppose they’d heard what happened over their radio. I stood watching them work, staring at Gregor’s face hard, hoping to see any signs of consciousness. But there were none. Clara wept noisily on Teo’s shoulder. It was only when Jack came up to me and put his hand on my arm that I realized I was trembling. “You okay?” he asked quietly. “That was pretty freaky to see.” I nodded. I wasn’t okay, but I wasn’t about to cry my eyes out in Jack’s arms. That would be exactly what he was hoping for. The medics left with Gregor, Clara walking behind them, her golden head bent as she chose her steps carefully on the slippery ground. Nothing would have given me more pleasure than to see her wipe out and land on her skinny butt. I had heard her tell Teo she was going to have her car follow the ambulance to the hospital. It made me more upset to think about her sitting beside him and holding his hand in the hospital room while I waited outside with everyone else, hoping desperately that Gregor was going to be all right. The rest of us began helping to pack up the film equipment. Nobody else wanted to leave until the entire crew was safely out of the cave. A bunch of hardy-looking park rangers came in with ladders and were able to get the stranded crew members and the rest of the actors down
45
without incident. Then the rangers, along with a couple of policemen, stood around looking at the pile of fallen rocks and talking amongst themselves in Hungarian. Teo motioned to Yoni. “What’s going on?” he asked. “We are trying to figure out why the rocks fell,” he replied, stroking his beard. “They have not fallen in all the time that any of us have worked here. Several of us have climbed this pile before to get bats out of that hole.” “Maybe it was the cameras and people banging around above them,” Teo suggested. “Perhaps,” Yoni agreed. “We’ll be sure to test them thoroughly before you resume filming.” Teo frowned. “If we resume,” he answered. “Well, I thank you for your help. We’re going to get out of here and check on Mr. McKeon. Please call me later to tell me what you’ve discovered, yes?” “Of course. And I think he will be all right.” He looked over at me. “Head wounds always bleed a lot. Once he comes to, he will recover quickly, no doubt.” I nodded. “Thank you for keeping so calm.” He smiled modestly. “It’s my training.” Once outside in the waning afternoon sunlight, we regrouped and discussed who was going to the hospital. It was agreed that Teo, Vanessa and I would go, and the rest would go back to the hotel and wait for word from us. There would be no use in all of us tramping into the hospital and hanging around for news. Sheila and Houston were standing together. “I could have been hurt, too,” I overheard her telling him fretfully. I wanted to smack her; was she really thinking about that when Gregor was the one who had gotten clobbered? Houston seemed annoyed by her and just shrugged and patted her arm. “But you weren’t,” he reminded her. “Can you focus on someone besides yourself for once?” Jack squeezed my arm. “I’ll be at my hotel later. Give me a call and let me know how he’s doing?” The hospital was a hubbub of activity. Apparently the press had been alerted about the accident, and several reporters who had been following the filming were milling around the waiting room. A couple of them approached Teo, who gave them a dirty look before striding up to the front desk.
46
Before he could open his mouth, a man in a suit came from down the hallway and held out his hand. He introduced himself as the hospital president and assured us that he knew who we were and that we would be getting an update on Gregor’s condition momentarily. Teo gestured to the reporters. “Can you make them leave?” he asked. The president shook his head. “This is a public hospital, sir. I’m afraid not. Only if they become disruptive.” Teo shook his head in disgust. Vanessa touched his arm. “Don’t worry about it, Teo,” she said. “Let’s just wait to hear what the doctor has to say, all right?” Within minutes, a doctor came out from the hallway and took us aside to a small office. In very good English, he explained he had just finished examining Gregor and assessing his condition. “Will he be all right?” Teo asked anxiously. “He most likely has a concussion. He’s come to, but is very groggy and in a lot of pain. We’ll take X-rays once we’ve stabilized him a bit and made sure his bleeding has stopped. He’s very lucky. If that rock had struck him in the side of the head rather than the front, he’d probably be dead.” His bluntness cut through me. I shook my head to force the image from my mind. I silently said a prayer of thankfulness as Teo asked, “Can anyone see him yet?” “His fiancée- the countess- is in there with him now. I’m going to ask her to leave in a few minutes. He really shouldn’t be disturbed right now. Perhaps later on tonight, you can see him for a short time.” “All right. Thank you so much, doctor.” “Absolutely no problem.” We filed out. Vanessa pulled out her phone. “I’m heading back to the hotel,” she said. “You want me to call George and tell him what to say to the press?” George was the film’s publicist. “Yes.” Teo looked a bit dazed. I think he perhaps more than the rest of us felt responsible for the accident- after all, it happened on his set. “Thanks, I’ll see you later,” he told Vanessa. “Elise, you stay with me, no?”
47
“Of course,” I said, grateful for the chance to stay close to Gregor, even if I couldn’t see him yet. Teo and I hung around the hospital for what felt like a very long time. Teo spent a lot of time on his phone, trying to figure out what to do about the filming. He decided to put any decisions on hold until he could speak to Gregor himself and the doctors could give him a good idea of how long his recovery would take. Finally, as we returned to the waiting room after nibbling on some food that an assistant had brought, a nurse approached us. “Mr. McKeon, he asks to see you both,” she said. We quickly followed her down a hall and into the elevator. Once we got to the door of his room, she told us that we could only stay a few minutes so that Gregor could get some rest. We went into the small room. Another nurse was inside, checking the IV that was hooked up on a stand. She smiled at us. We both looked from her down to the white, still figure in the bed. My heart sank a little. Gregor was lying with his eyes closed, a large bandage covering part of his forehead. His color was still very pale. He had IV tubes in both hands, though no other visible machines hooked up to him. I almost wanted to cry; instead I bit my lip. Teo seemed shaken as well. He glanced at me, then stepped forward. “Mac, it’s Teo,” he said very softly. “How are you, man?” No response at first. Then, Gregor stirred very slightly. He opened his eyes and took a minute to focus on Teo. Then he managed the smallest of smiles. “I’ve been better,” he croaked. Teo patted his shoulder. “We were very scared, no? Your head, it hurts a lot?” Gregor licked his lips. It appeared to be an effort for him to do so. “Sort of,” he said. “I think I’m on some rather heavy painkillers. I feel like I’m watching myself from above the bed.” I moved towards the bed. Gregor shifted his gaze to me. His eyes were so blue and dazed. “Hey,” he said. I took his hand very gently so as not to disturb the IV. “I’m glad you’re okay,” I said simply. He squeezed my hand. “Me too.”
48
“Where is Clara?” Teo broke in. I don’t know if he did it on purpose or if he just liked to say the next thing that came into his head. “I sent her back to the hotel,” Gregor said. “No reason for her to hang about all night worrying.” He paused. “Sorry about all this.” “Don’t give a thought to the film,” Teo replied. “We’ll work it all out. It is important for you only to focus on getting better, yes?” “I will,” Gregor promised. Teo winked at me. “I’ll be outside,” he told me. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mac,” he added to Gregor, clapping him once more very gently on the shoulder before he left. The nurse went over to the sink. I came closer to Gregor. He looked at me thoughtfully. “Did you hold my hand and talk to me after it happened?” he asked. “Yes.” “I thought perhaps it was an angel.” “Sorry, just me.” “I’m glad it was you. If it were an angel, that would mean I was dead, wouldn’t it?” Gregor commented. I gripped his hand more tightly. “Don’t say such things,” I whispered. “It was awful, Gregor.” “I’m all right, Elise. I’ll be up and around in a day or two. They told me just to expect a bad headache for a while.” I nodded, taking a deep breath. “Good. I had better let you rest now.” I leaned over and gave him a kiss on his cheek. “I’ll try to come see you tomorrow. I don’t want to make any trouble with Clara.” “Okay. Goodbye, sweet Elise.” He closed his eyes. “Goodbye.” I was quiet as Teo and I got back into his car and wove through the dark emptying streets back to our hotel. Teo seemed contemplative; he didn’t answer his phone once. Finally he said to me, “It is suspicious, no? The guide, Yoni, he said those rocks had not moved in years.” “But it seems no one ever climbed on them much, either.”
49
“Still, you would think one or two would come down occasionally. A little tremor, that sort of thing. The cave is used for tours, no?” I stared out at the lights of the city, which only this morning had seemed so welcoming, so warm. Now, I just wanted to leave. “What other explanation can there be?” I said, my mind racing ahead to his meaning. “You think someone would have deliberately loosened the rocks to hurt Gregor? The cave was closed off to anyone except the park rangers and the film crew. And no one on the crew would hurt him.” My voice caught a little. Teo looked at me. “I agree, no one on the crew would hurt Mac. But someone else could have come in and done it, a person who would not arouse suspicion. Someone who had a grudge against him.” “How can anyone not like him?” I asked, thinking of my own feelings of course. “Elise,” Teo said gently. “I do not want to upset you, but Mac, he has made some enemies of late. I am thinking of his lovely fiancée, Miss Lloyton. Or even your own young man, who flew in from the States on a whim to see you.” I stared at him. I was sure Gregor hadn’t told him anything about what was going on between him and me. “Gregor and I are friends,” I managed. “I don’t know why that would anger anyone.” Teo smiled, the first genuine smile I’d seen from him since the accident. “If so, that’s an interesting definition of friends you have,” he remarked. “Come now, Elise. I’ve known Mac for years. He’s smitten with you. I can tell just from the way he looks at you. Trouble is, the countess, she is smitten with him.” I thought over his words, unwilling to allow myself the satisfaction of believing them. “Well then, if she is so in love with him, why would she hurt him?” I persisted. Teo shrugged. “Why does a woman do anything? To take him out of the movie, perhaps. Away from you. I don’t think she would have intended to kill him, but then, who knows? She’s a cool one.” “She wasn’t cool today. She was hysterical.” “A little out of character, do you not think? Definitely over-acting.” Teo stroked his beard. “I’ve seen enough of that to know. She would never have struck me as the hysterical type of woman.” “Well, I can vouch for Jack,” I said at last. “He was with me at the filming all morning.”
50
“He could have stopped here before filming began this morning. And you parted company with him last night only around six, no, before you came to see me? Plenty of time to get here. The crew was here until well after ten last night setting up.” “But he’s not known to them.” “He has a pass, doesn’t he? He’s a very average-looking man, pardon me for saying so. Nothing stands out about him. He could have picked up some equipment and acted like he was helping set up. Everyone would have thought he was a local hire, just coming to lend an extra hand.” “But Clara…Wouldn’t it have seemed odd for her to show up here alone?” “Not very. She could have stopped by on her way to the set this morning, straight from the airport, yes? She could have pled ignorance, claimed she thought we were filming here first rather than in town. No one would think twice about seeing her. When everyone was busy, she could have easily climbed up, dislodged a few rocks, and gotten down.” “Those rocks looked pretty heavy.” “They really weren’t. I picked up a couple of them afterwards just to see. No more than a few pounds each. It’s the force of them that made them dangerous. And Miss Lloyton is a strong woman, despite her appearance. She skis and hikes. She’d have no trouble doing it.” I thought all this over. “Her shoes,” I said finally. “She was wearing little tiny sandals. No way she could have climbed in them.” Teo smiled. “She had luggage with her. Perhaps she had a pair of special climbing shoes in her bag. Whether or not they will ever be found, well, that’s another story, is it not?” “You know her somewhat, I assume,” I said. “What is she like, really? I mean, do you think she’d be capable of doing something so depraved?” Teo smiled grimly. “At one of the premiere parties for Grecian Urn that Clara attended, one of the actresses was getting a little too- friendly, shall we say, with Gregor? Later that night, that actress passed out at the party and had to have her stomach pumped at the hospital. It turned out someone had slipped pills into her drink. Some reports said it was a suicide attempt, which I wouldn’t believe in a million years. She was far too in love with herself to attempt suicide. No one was ever charged, but I’ve always had my suspicions.” “Wow. I never heard about that. You really think…”
51
“Like I said, the countess is a cool one.” Teo pressed his lips together and turned to look out at the Vajdahunyad vára as we passed it, eerily glowing against the sky. “I would watch yourself, Elise.” We said nothing else until we entered the hotel. Teo walked me to my room. He gave me a little bow. At times, he was still very foreign, deliberately chosen times, I believe. “Good night, Elise. And don’t worry about Mac. He’s strong, he’ll be good as new in a few days.” “Thank you, Teo. I hope so.” I tossed and turned that night, thinking about all the events of the day. The accident replayed itself in my mind, punctuated by other flashes: Clara’s sandals. Her hysterics over Gregor. Jack breathing heavily only moments before the accident. Gregor lying white and still and bleeding on the cave floor. Yoni commenting that he’d never before seen the rocks move. The way Gregor looked at me as I bent over his bed. Telling me he thought I was an angel. Finally, at around three, I went out on my balcony overlooking the city. How strange that only two nights before, Gregor and I had made love in this room, with the sounds of the city below us, drifting in on the white curtains that blew in the breeze. I wished fervently that he were here with me now. In a way, I barely knew him. We’d met less than two weeks ago. But now it seemed impossible that there had been a time when I didn’t know him. When I closed my eyes, all I could see were his, that piercing blue stare. All I could feel under my fingertips was his smooth skin. Was I just dreaming that he and I could ever be more than a fling? He was a famous, world-traveled, sophisticated celebrity. I was a not very well-known, somewhat socially inept writer. He was engaged to a countess. My ex-boyfriend worked at the mall. I leaned over the balcony and tried to push all these negative thoughts out of my head. I tried to remember that five years ago, I was a struggling writer at a tiny newspaper, living over a convenience store in a questionable neighborhood, pecking out my novel on my laptop at night, dreaming of making it big. And I had made it big, bigger than I’d ever imagined. I was making a movie, for God’s sake! I needed to stop doubting myself and just get on with it. No matter what happened with Gregor and me, I would be stronger for it, and for this whole experience.
52
Feeling better, I went back to bed and managed a few hours’ sleep before my cell rang at eight. “You up?” Jack asked. “I am now,” I mumbled. “Sorry. You want to get some breakfast?” I didn’t really, with him, but I figured maybe I could do a little detective work. Because according to Teo, Jack was suspect number two. “Okay. Give me an hour,” I said, yawning. We met at a small café around the corner from the hotel. It was a brilliant morning, and we sat at an outside table. Jack looked like he’d slept about as much as I had. “So, how was the hospital?” he asked, sounding somewhat annoyed. I remembered belatedly that I was supposed to call him last night when I got back to the hotel. “It was fantastic, aren’t hospitals always?” I asked sarcastically. “I already heard from Molly that he’s okay.” “If you call a concussion and a bunch of stitches okay.” Jack stirred his coffee. “I didn’t mean that. I meant, not in danger.” He seemed calm, unlike me, who for some reason felt ready for a fight. “I guess.” I let it drop. Our food arrived. Jack dug in. I nibbled a pastry. “You get to talk to him?” he asked. “Just for a minute.” “He seem okay? I mean, his spirits.” “He didn’t say much.” I wasn’t giving away anything. “That was some bad luck, wasn’t it. When he went up those rocks in the first place, I remember thinking, he’s gonna wipe out, or knock them all onto us. It didn’t look too safe.” “So why didn’t you say anything?” I asked, looking at him closely. Jack’s never been a particularly good liar. “I figured the crew knew better than I did about what they were doing. And that Hungarian guy didn’t stop him, so I thought it must be okay.” I took a sip of coffee. “Yoni said later that he’d never seen those rocks move in the ten years he’s worked in the cave. I bet they’re going to investigate it.” Jack shrugged. “They probably have to, it’s so high-profile. Did you see the local paper this morning? It was on the front page. And even the Internet sites at home have it all over the place.”
53
I hadn’t looked. I shrugged. “Blood sells, big surprise. I wonder what Teo’s going to do about filming. As of last night, he was still trying to decide.” I signaled the waitress for more coffee. “I guess it depends on how fast Gregor recovers.” “He’ll have a scar for months, probably forever,” Jack commented. “I guess it goes with his character.” He didn’t sound too sorry about Gregor being scarred. I wondered if he felt bad about any of this. “Well, I guess you’ll be starting your backpacking trip sooner than you thought,” I said somewhat snidely. “Since there won’t be much filming going on for the next few days.” Jack dropped his fork. I handed him mine. “Aren’t they going to try and film around him for now?” he asked, sounding like a disappointed child. I flipped my hair off my shoulder. “He’s in every sequence here in Pest. I haven’t heard from Teo what he plans to do yet. Maybe we’ll go on up early to St. Petersburg. Maybe we’ll wait it out here.” Jack shifted in his chair. “I’ve always wanted to go to Russia. I hear St. Petersburg is beautiful.” “I’m the one who told you that,” I reminded him. “And yes, it is. But…” I hesitated. There was no delicate way to put this. “Jack, don’t you think it’s time we both, you know, did the moving-on thing?” He looked down at his empty plate, then back up at me. His brown eyes were darkened. “I’ve barely been here two days,” he said somewhat petulantly. “You’re kicking me out of the country already?” “No, I didn’t mean it that way,” I replied with a sigh. “I guess I just meant…no sense in putting off what’s inevitable.” Jack studied me for a minute, then looked away. “You really think you have a future with that guy,” he said finally. “You’re going to fight a countess for him?” I shook my head. “Stop dragging Gregor into this. You and I were over months ago, Jack. Aren’t I allowed to want to do something just for myself?” He didn’t answer. I saw what had momentarily distracted him. A few tables away from us, Houston had just taken a seat with Sheila. Behind her sunglasses, I saw Sheila, looking as
54
bored as possible, glance around at the other tables. She may have seen us; she may not have. Houston’s face was as impassive as stone. “You can do what you want,” I said when Jack had finished gawking. “I just need you to know my feelings about this. Right now I’m going to go make some phone calls. I guess if you want, we can do some sightseeing later.” Jack’s lips twisted in a frown. “I don’t want you to do me any favors. I can do sightseeing well enough on my own.” “Oh, Jack, lighten up. I didn’t mean it to come out that way.” He shrugged. “Well, call me later, I guess.” I left first. I saw Sheila watching me out of a corner of her eye. I forced a little smile and wave. She didn’t wave back; she’d probably already forgotten who I was. Back at the hotel, I threw myself onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. I felt at loose ends. I suppose everyone from the movie was feeling that way, and would until Teo and the other directors came up with a plan for the next few days. I didn’t have long to wait. Within five minutes, one of Teo’s assistants had sent an email out to everyone working on the film here in Pest. Due to the “unforeseen circumstances,” we were going to head up to St. Petersburg a few days early and begin filming there tomorrow, and Gregor would join us when the doctors said it was okay for him to leave Pest. There were other scenes that he wasn’t in that could be filmed there while we were waiting for him. We’d come back to Pest later with a skeleton crew to finish the remaining scenes, or even film them elsewhere if time and expense didn’t allow it. I was disappointed for several reasons. I really wanted the entire film shot on location; it would give it a much more authentic feel than if we wound up using a sound stage or someplace cheap like Canada. Also, I didn’t want to go to St. Petersburg without Gregor. He’d be here, with Clara by his side fussing over him. After a few days, he’d probably forget all about me. I lay in bed for a while, feeling sorry for myself, until my phone rang. “Elise?” a somewhat croaky voice asked. “Gregor,” I breathed. “How are you?” “I’ve got a hell of a headache, but I’m not too bad. How are you?” “Good,” I replied, trying to sound as if I wasn’t about to jump off the bed in my excitement that he’d called.
55
“Can you come by tonight? Clara’s been here all morning,” he said in a stage whisper. “I convinced her to go have dinner with some of the other cast tonight. I was hoping I could see you alone for a little while. I know you all are leaving for St. Petersburg tomorrow.” “Of course,” I said promptly. “What time should I come?” “I think she’s leaving here around seven.” “Okay. I’ll come after that. Do you want me to bring you some dinner?” “No, I haven’t felt like eating much. I just want to see you. I’m in room 312.” His words danced around in my head the rest of the day as I joined a somewhat grumpy Jack on a tour of the Parliament building and a couple more churches. Jack asked me pointedly why I was so happy; I avoided answering him. We stopped for coffee at around four o’clock. As we were standing at the café counter, my cell rang. It was Teo. “If you don’t mind,” he said, “I’d like to speak to your friend Mr. Jack. Do you know how I can reach him?” “He’s right here,” I said, confused. I handed the phone to Jack, who shot me a puzzled look and said, “Hello?” His face changed. “Hello, Mr. Carreras. Yes, I did enjoy watching the filming yesterday- yes, very unfortunate.” Why the hell was Teo calling Jack, I wondered? He must be up to something. I found out in moments. “Well, sure, of course, I’d love to,” Jack said, his face breaking out in a huge grin. “Of course. That would be great. Thank you so much, sir. Yes, I’ll tell her. Goodbye.” He hung up and handed the phone back to me, looking dazed. “What did he want?” I demanded, tossing it into my bag. “He wants me to assist the other photographer who’s in charge of shooting stills for the film,” Jack replied. “He wants me to work for him, Elise! This is so awesome! This will totally be my lucky break!” He was clearly ecstatic. I tried not to roll my eyes. I knew Teo had absolutely no idea what kind of photographer Jack was; he probably had only heard in passing what Jack’s aspirations were and realized it was a great way to keep him with us. Apparently Teo, the great detective that he was, was intent on trying to solve the Case of the Falling Rocks. And Jack, being his number-two suspect, must be kept close at hand.
56
“That’s cool,” I managed. “I have to call my mom,” Jack continued, oblivious to my lack of enthusiasm. “Thanks, Elise. I’m sure you had something to do with this.” He gave me a big hug, grabbed his coffee cup, and went outside to call his mother. I stood there, shaking my head. Now, not only would Jack be with me for the next four months of filming, he would also think I had purposely dropped his name to Teo to get him a job. He would probably conclude that my let’s-be-friends attitude was all an act so that I could surprise him with the job once Teo gave the okay. This thought aggravated me even more. “So I guess I’ll have to go buy a few more clothes,” Jack said to me as I exited the coffee shop. “I only brought what would fit in my backpack. Want to come with me?” I figured it was a way to pass the time until I could get to the hospital. “Okay,” I said. “I know where the good shops are.” We hailed a cab. Jack settled against the vinyl seat and sighed contentedly. “My mom’s really happy,” he said. “She says to tell you hello and that she misses your talks.” I did not miss our talks. My talks with Irene Hollis had consisted of her either complaining about the weather, her ex-husband, her job, or all three, and me nodding and smiling politely while Jack hung out with his brother in the other room and played Guitar Hero. “I’m sure she’s happy for you,” I managed. “Did you call your dad?” “I left him a message. He won’t believe it,” Jack said, his brown eyes wide. “He never thought I’d make a cent as a real photographer. I wish I could see his face when he gets my message.” I felt bad, then, knowing how much his father’s approval meant to Jack, and how elusive it was as well. “Here we are,” I said as the taxi pulled up to the curb. For an hour, I watched Jack traipse in and out of dressing rooms, fawned over by stout wide-faced women and thin shopgirls with long blonde hair. Finally, at six, I rose and said, “I really have to go now.” Jack paused in the middle of deciding between a blue or brown button-down shirt. “What? You’re leaving?” he asked, sounding crestfallen. “Yes,” I said. “I think you can manage the rest of this on your own.” “Oh, okay. Well, I guess I’ll be joining you all over at your hotel tonight. Call me if you want to get a drink or something.”
57
“I think we have a really early flight tomorrow,” I said gently. “I’ll see you at the airport in the morning, okay?” I went over to him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Congrats again on the job,” I said quietly. He looked down at me, and smiled again. “Thanks to you,” he said. “I really owe you one, Elise.” I hurried back to the hotel, showered and dressed, and was drying my hair when there was a knock at the door of my room. Expecting Molly, I answered it. However, two policemen were standing there instead. “Miss Connelly?” one of them said politely in heavily accented English. “I am Detective Kostovo, and this is my partner, Detective Tagore. Would you be able to speak with us for a minute?” I nodded, realizing immediately why they were here. “Do you want to come in?” I asked, looking around my messy room in some embarrassment. “Or we can sit over there,” I added, pointing to a small sitting area down the hall. Kostovo inclined his head toward the hallway. “That would be fine.” The three of us sat in the stiff high-backed chairs around a small coffee table. Kostovo pulled out a little notebook. I was not sure if the other detective even spoke English. “Now, then, miss,” he said, pulling out a pen and looking at me expectantly. “Just wanted to ask you a few questions about what happened today at the cave. We’re investigating on behalf of the park service. We’ve already spoken to several other cast and crew members from the movie here at your hotel.” I nodded. “You were there when the-er- accident happened?” I nodded again. “I suppose it’s nothing different than what everyone else has told you,” I said, folding my hands in my lap. “Mr. McKeon- Gregor- climbed up the rocks fine, but after he came back down, that’s when a few of them fell after him.” “Right.” Kostovo nodded, jotting down notes. Tagore looked thoughtful, although I wasn’t sure he’d understood everything I’d said. “And you didn’t notice anyone tampering with the rocks, either that day or any other? Nobody touched them besides Mr. McKeon?”
58
I shook my head. “The first time I’d ever been in that part of the cave was during the shoot. I didn’t see anyone touch the rocks or go near them but Gregor.” “And no one was acting- suspicious?” “No, not really.” Unless, of course, you counted a heavy-breathing ex-boyfriend or an overwrought fiancée. “I mean, we were all focused on the filming, and then afterwards, of course, it was very chaotic.” Kostovo nodded. “Of course, of course.” He quickly asked me where I was both the night before and morning of the incident, and I told him I’d been with Teo for most of the evening, before heading up to my room. I didn’t mention the visit from Gregor; it didn’t seem important. And of course I was at the shoot all the next morning. Kostovo nodded as he glanced over his notes. Obviously my account jibed with what he’d already found out from Teo and others. But then he closed his notebook and tilted his head to the side, as though appraising me. “Ms. Connelly, if you’ll permit me to ask, how well do you know Mr. McKeon?” Oh boy. Did the Hungarian police read TMZ.com? “I just met him when we started filming,” I answered carefully. Kostovo’s face was inscrutable. “Do you know of anyone who might be angry with him, for some reason? Who would wish to hurt him?” I shook my head slowly, thinking of Gregor lying pale and still on the ground, blood gushing from his head. I shivered and hugged myself. “No,” I said. “I can’t imagine how anyone would do something like that to him. It must have been an accident.” Tagore’s eyes widened in sympathy. Perhaps he knew more English than he was letting on. “We hope so,” he said in clipped syllables. “Miss Connelly, we hope so too.” As soon as the police had left, I quickly finished getting ready and hailed a cab to the hospital. I signed in at the front entrance and walked past the waiting room to the elevator. I hit the third-floor button and waited while the elevator climbed slowly up. When the doors opened, I stepped out into the hallway. The smell of cleaning fluid hit me; at least, I figured, he was in a good hospital. Nurses rushed past me, their rubber shoes making no noise on the linoleum floor.
59
I had just started to look around for the room numbers when I heard a familiar, clipped voice just behind my shoulder. “Well, hello, Miss- Connelly, isn’t it?” I whirled around to see Clara Lloyton herself standing there, looking perfectly turned out in a black sweater and matching pants, Chanel bag on her arm. Her hair was tightly pulled back into a bun, her dark red lipstick a bleeding stain on her pale skin. “Uh, hi,” I managed, completely at a loss for what to say. She smiled, her powdered face cracking. I realized suddenly that under these harsh fluorescent lights, she looked a little wrinkled. Old. I felt better seeing that. It gave me the bold confidence of all my twenty-nine years. “Are you here to see Gregor?” she continued smoothly. “Because he’s gone to sleep for the night. The doctors say he needs his rest. I’m heading out myself.” Her voice was pleasant, toneless. I bristled under it. “Thanks,” I said, backing away from her. “I’ll just leave him a note with one of the nurses.” Her forehead furrowed. She could have used some of that Botox that Sheila was so big on. “I’ll wait for you. We can walk out together.” Her tone held an undercurrent of annoyance at someone actually disobeying her royal orders. “That’s okay. I don’t want to hold you up.” She shrugged her thin shoulders. I could tell she didn’t want to make a scene. A couple of nurses were eyeing us. “All right. Suit yourself. Be careful outside- it’s not the best neighborhood.” And she turned and strode away to the elevator. I was a little shaken as I continued my search for Gregor’s room. Was that a warning? I wondered. Maybe she was going to wait for me in an alley and conk me over the head with her Chanel bag. At this point, nothing would surprise me. I thought of the poisoned actress Teo had mentioned. I made a mental note to research that on the Internet later tonight. I found the room and knocked. A nurse answered it. “Come in,” she said. “Mr. McKeon’s been expecting you.” She stepped back and let me in. It was a pretty nice room, nicer than the one I’d been in yesterday. Gregor was half-sitting up in the bed. His head was still bandaged of course, but his color looked better and he gave me a real smile as I approached the bed. Murmuring something, the nurse left the room.
60
Gregor reached out his hand to me. I took it and sat on the edge of the bed. I saw that he had only one IV still in, taped to his other hand. “Hi,” I whispered. Gregor brushed some of my hair off my shoulder. “Hello, my dear. Do I look that bad? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” I shook my head. “It’s nothing. I just saw Clara out in the hallway. She told me you’d gone to sleep. I guess she was trying to keep me from coming to see you.” He looked pained. “She left my room ten minutes ago. I don’t know why she was still hanging about. She probably suspected why I was trying to rush her out. I’m sorry, Elise. I didn’t intend for you two to meet.” “Jeez, don’t worry about it,” I said. “As if you didn’t have enough going on. How’s your head?” “I’ve been trying to turn down the medication,” Gregor said, gesturing to the switch on his IV line. “I hate feeling so drugged. But then it makes my head ache, of course. They’re going to do another CAT scan in the morning to make sure everything’s okay, that the swelling’s gone down.” I nodded. “Have you eaten anything?” “A while ago, I had a sandwich. I’m fine. I’ll make up for it when I get out of here.” “Did Teo come to see you today?” A bemused grin crossed his face. “He did. He was in rare form, even for him. Spouting off about how it wasn’t an accident and I must have enemies and I needed to be extra careful from now on. He wouldn’t tell me exactly who these enemies were, but I gather that the police went to the cave after I left yesterday and talked to the park rangers. They also are apparently interviewing some of the crew. I think they’ll come talk to me in the morning.” “They were making the rounds just before I left to come here,” I said, using my free hand to stroke his stubbly cheek. “I talked to them for a few minutes. I didn’t have much to tell them. I can’t imagine anyone else will, either.” Gregor sighed. “I really think this is all being blown out of proportion, Elise. I disturbed the rocks, a few of them fell. It’s just lucky no one got hurt worse.” He leaned back against the pillows as though thinking about it tired him out.
61
I pressed my lips together. No need to bother him about whom Teo suspected. It wasn’t worth upsetting him, when right now everything was just pure speculation. “Can I get you anything?” I asked, looking over at the pitcher of water and glass on the bedside table. Gregor smiled wickedly. “What I want, you can’t give me now, not in this room, anyway.” I blushed. Gregor moved his head to kiss the palm of my hand that was resting against his cheek. “Thinking about you,” he said simply, “has made the past two days bearable.” My heart fluttered a little. Bearable despite his injury, or bearable despite the constant attention from Clara? I hoped he meant the latter. “Good,” I whispered. “I wish I could go with you all to St. Pete. I’ve never been and I heard it’s lovely.” “It is. But it’ll keep.” “Don’t go to the Hermitage without me.” “I won’t,” I promised. Gregor’s eyes were thoughtful. “You’ll be all right? I guess there’s been a bit of press about us?” I shrugged. “I haven’t really paid attention. What does it matter? Tomorrow we’ll be old news.” I tried to smile. “You just need to worry about getting better, Gregor.” He smiled back. “For you, anything, my lovely.” I leaned in then and put my head on his chest. He put his arms around me, and for a minute, the rest of the world simply dropped away. I could have sat that way forever, nestled in his arms, smelling the clean shampoo scent of his hair. I think we would have sat that way all night if the nurse hadn’t bustled back in a few minutes later. “Time for sleep,” she said pleasantly, going over to the window and drawing the curtains. Reluctantly, I disentangled myself from Gregor. I gave him one gentle kiss on his injured forehead, then one on his mouth, those soft melty lips. “Call me in the morning,” I told him. 7.
62
On the flight to St. Petersburg, the chartered plane was quiet. It was early, to be sure, but I don’t think it was quiet just because of the hour. I purposely sat by myself reading while Jack got chummy with Arne and Mike. I was approached by Sheila as I returned from the restroom. “So Gregor looked better last night?” she asked. Her carefully made-up brown eyes fixed on me with renewed interest. I shrugged. “That’s what I hear,” I said breezily. From her comments yesterday, I had a feeling she suspected about Gregor and me, and I wasn’t about to let anything slip. “Countess Clara graced us with her presence at dinner last night. She said she’d just run into you at the hospital.” Sheila paused, as though waiting for me to break down and confess everything to her. “Gregor asked me to stop by,” I answered carefully. I did not elaborate. Sheila smiled, not very nicely. Her teeth were blinding; she must have had them bleached when she got her Botox done. “She looked positively furious about it. She’s quite a cat, that one. I’d watch out if I were you.” I looked at her blankly. “I’m not sure what garbage is going around the Internet,” I told her, “but Gregor and I are friends, nothing more.” Sheila winked at me. “Sure, I know. I’ve had friends like that myself.” I didn’t know what else to say, so I turned and walked away. Back in my seat, I slumped down and wished I could make myself invisible. I was approached by Teo only moments later. “A word, little one,” he said, motioning to the back of the plane. I was grateful for the relative quiet of his row, save for the noise of the engines. “You saw Gregor last night?” he said. “I stopped by earlier in the day. He told me you were coming. He looked much better, yes?” I nodded. “Much.” “I have a good feeling he will be rejoining us shortly. However, I have to confess to you, Elise, that I am worried.” He glanced around, but no one was within earshot, especially since the engines were so loud. “I am worried for my friend. I can confide in you, no?” I nodded again. “Of course.” Teo heaved a sigh. “I spoke to the police last night, after they interviewed the park workers and everyone at the hotel. Although they didn’t learn anything new from talking with
63
the crew and the cast, they are still suspicious about the incident. Mostly because of the testimony of the park rangers that the rocks never became dislodged before. The police are going to talk to Mac this morning, tell him to be careful, perhaps to hire a bodyguard. He will not agree to it, I know, but I was hoping you could persuade him. Also, he needs to be careful with what he eats and drinks. You just never know.” Teo glanced around as though expecting someone to spring out from the seats in front of us. “Especially because of- well, that incident with the actress I told you about.” I rubbed my temples. All this talk of accidents and on-purposes was giving me a headache. “But if whoever did this- if it was in fact deliberate- if that person knows that everyone’s going to be on their guard now, watching out for Gregor, do you really think they’d try again?” Teo shrugged. “I do not know the mind of a criminal. But I have been thinking this over all night, and I also wanted to talk to you about Mr. Mill.” He lowered his voice. “Houston Mill, he also wanted the part of Max, very badly in fact. Both he and his agent called me a dozen times about it. I think they thought it would be a career-saving role for him. He’s had a couple of flops lately, as you may know.” I considered for a minute. I vaguely recalled seeing Houston Mill’s face in a couple of trailers for films that were fairly forgettable. “But you turned him down.” “He was not right for the part. Plus, he has a reputation for being difficult to work with at times. I figured I could use him in the supporting role, that way I would not have to deal with him as much. He’s a decent actor, popular enough, but he has nowhere near Mac’s star quality.” I nodded. “So he’s probably fairly jealous of Gregor. And you’re thinking he may have orchestrated an accident big enough to get Gregor out of the film. And who would be the perfect choice to replace him? It’s definitely plausible, I guess. Any idea where he was the morning of the accident?” “I haven’t asked him directly, but Sheila volunteered to me that he was back at the hotel all morning, as he wasn’t needed until the cave sequence. Of course, she can’t really vouch for him. No one can, at least none of the major cast and crew, as they were all either filming or setting up for the next scene. The crew at the cave swears they didn’t see anyone either the night before the accident or the morning of it. But you see, I am sure they were just asked about anyone acting sneaky, or about anyone who shouldn’t have been there. Houston could easily
64
have slipped in and out in a few minutes as naturally as your friend Jack, or even the countess, and no one would think twice about seeing him or any of them, really.” I thought for a few minutes. “How would Sheila know where Houston was?” I asked finally. My face must have given away my suspicions. “He and Miss Halliday, they are as you say, the hot item. Almost as hot as you and Mac,” he added, making me blush. “They got together back in Hollywood when they started rehearsing their roles. She’s divorced and he’s separated- at least, he is now. I hear the little Mrs. Mill was quite surprised to learn her husband was leaving her.” Teo smiled ruefully. I shook my head to clear it. “So now three suspects,” I said miserably. “What about me, Teo? Am I out of it?” Teo’s black eyes danced. “I happen to know that you have a pretty good alibi for the night before the accident. And you were with us shooting all the next morning. So yes, you are out of it. Besides, I have a feeling you would prefer Mac to be all in one piece.” I blushed again. “Well, I will talk to Gregor about the bodyguard,” I said, putting my hands to my burning cheeks. “And you’re right, he probably won’t want one. But it’s not a bad idea. As much as I think you’re enjoying playing detective, Teo, I hope you’re wrong about all this,” I added slowly. Teo looked somber. “So do I, Elise. So do I.” We landed at Pulkovo airport a little after noon local time. It was a sunny but cool day, which was pretty typical weather for St. Petersburg, though it was almost June. We made it through customs fairly quickly and were driven to our hotel, an old building just south of the Palace Square. This was convenient since much of our shooting was to take place in and around the Square. My room overlooked the Neva River and from my window I could see the Peter and Paul Fortress on the other side. The golden spire of the cathedral, reminiscent of an elegant finger, rose up to stab the azure sky. I hoped fervently that we would have some time to sightsee. I had been here before, but it was at least six years ago now. The city had changed during that time; it was even more Westernized and affluent than I remembered. When Molly and I went out to dinner that evening at a trendy new restaurant
65
recommended by our hotel concierge, I was amazed to see a crowd as hip as any I’d seen in Manhattan. I felt plain in dark jeans and a black sweater. We ordered drinks and looked around. Bored-looking, lanky-haired youths of indeterminate age and sex smoked and texted on their phones, or chatted with each other as they lounged on sofas and scanned the room for prospects. I felt ancient. I caught a couple of girls eyeing me and then giggling with each other, and my face burned. I’d been trying to avoid the Internet but I had caught three headlines involving myself when all I was doing was checking my email. Molly saw the girls too, and she smiled sympathetically. “Hey, at least you’re getting your fifteen minutes,” she said. I frowned. “Not exactly the way I pictured it.” “It’s crazy, isn’t it?” Molly continued conversationally. “About the accident, I mean. What do you think? Do you think the police would have been interviewing everyone about it unless they thought it was deliberate?” I shrugged and sipped my drink. It was a vodka tonic, strong of course- we were in Russia, after all. “I have no idea. I think they would be investigating it no matter what, and I think they’re being extra careful since it involved someone famous.” Molly nodded. She seemed to want to say something else, but hesitated. Our food arrived, and we started to eat. Finally she burst out, “I saw her that morning, you know. The countess, I mean.” “When?” I demanded, setting my glass down noisily. “She was at the hotel. It was right before lunch. I had been watching the filming but I had come back to change, it was too hot in my jeans. I was leaving my room after changing and I saw her coming from the other end of the hall. I don’t know if she’d come from a room at that end of the hall or from the stairwell. She saw me and didn’t bat an eye. I have no idea if she knew who I was. But she must have known I was from the film, since no one else was staying there at the hotel.” I put my fork down and tried to clear the vodka fog from my head so I could consider her words. “Do you know who had rooms down at that end of the hall?” I asked her. My own room had been next to Molly’s, but farther down towards the opposite end. “Wasn’t it all crew people?”
66
“I think so. I think all the actors had rooms upstairs from us.” “So maybe she was coming from Gregor’s suite,” I said aloud. “Makes sense. She could have just had her luggage dropped off there. But why not take the elevator? And she was alone? She always has a gaggle of assistants with her.” “Yeah, I know, which is why it all seemed strange to me. I don’t know if it’s worth anything at this point. Just an observation.” “What time was this?” I asked slowly. “About one o’clock.” “I think she got dropped off at the set after that,” I remembered. “Around one-thirty. We were just finishing up lunch.” “It wasn’t a half hour ride to the set. More like five or ten minutes,” Molly pointed out. I sampled a blintz stuffed with caviar. I chewed for a minute, thinking hard. “Was she carrying anything?” I asked finally. “A purse, a bag, anything?” Molly nodded, screwing up her eyes in concentration. “A big Chanel bag,” she said. “A black quilted one.” “Bigger than this?” I asked, pulling my purse around the side of my chair for her to see. It was about as big as the purse Clara had been carrying the other day. That had also been a black quilted Chanel. “No. Bigger. A bag, really.” “Hm.” It was slim, but it was all I had right now. Molly watched me intently. “Why does it matter?” I didn’t want to give anything away about my conversation with Teo regarding a pair of shoes that may or may not have been hidden away in that Chanel bag. “It doesn’t, I guess,” I said, sipping my drink. “Anyway, I don’t think she’d ever do anything to hurt Gregor. After all, they’re engaged, aren’t they?” We finished eating and ordered Turkish coffees. “Do you want to hit a club?” Molly asked. “I can see if Arne and those guys are done setting up for tomorrow and want to meet us for a drink.” “I don’t know,” I said. “I’m pretty tired.” “Come on. How many times will you get the chance to go out in St. Petersburg?”
67
I finally acquiesced, and twenty minutes later, we were speeding in a taxi down to what Dylan had assured us was the hippest and coolest dance club in the city. We met the three guys outside the door, where a small crowd had gathered behind velvet ropes for the nightly “face check.” I was probably underdressed, but after three vodka tonics, I didn’t much care. Arne, who was as tall and blonde as his name implied, loomed over us. “We’ll just flash our movie passes,” he directed, heading straight for the front of the line. He got some dirty looks from the crowd, and one or two rude comments (well, I assume they were rude, though I don’t understand Russian). The rest of us hung back a little. Arne spoke with one of the bouncers, who shrugged, then nodded. He gestured to us to come to the door. “Go on, Amerikans,” he said, opening it for us. The club, like many in St. Petersburg and other Russian cities, was located underground, inside an old bomb shelter, which means you had to go down a long passageway and through another heavy door to get in. Inside, though, it was a regular club, dimly lit, with a huge bar at one end, lots of polished wood tables and stools, and a pretty sizable dance floor, already filling up with what I assumed could only be St. Peterburg’s hippest and coolest clubbers. The music was pretty loud; we had to shout our drink requests to Arne. After he’d gone to order them, we stood around and watched the people. It was a pretty interesting mix of well-dressed men with tawdry-looking blondes on their arms, drag queens, punk rockers and anorexic waifs. I felt like I was back in the East Village. “Jack’s meeting us,” Dylan shouted to me above the music. “As soon as I told him you were coming, he said he’d be here. He was having dinner with Carreras and Vanessa tonight. Pretty big stuff.” Oh, Jeez. I pictured Teo innocently quizzing Jack on his whereabouts the night before the accident, while simultaneously managing to look impressed with Jack’s photo credits from Sears and The North Jersey Restaurant Guide. I took a gulp of the vodka tonic Arne had pressed into my hand and coughed my head off for about a minute. “Fabulous,” I muttered, wiping my eyes. Molly looked at me curiously. “Did Carreras really offer Jack a job?” “Worse,” I said, slurring slightly. “Jack thinks I got Teo to do it.” “But Teo’s really just trying to keep him around after what happened to Gregor?” “Something like that.”
68
Molly was quiet a minute. The pulsing beat in my ears sounded strangely far away. Maybe it was because I had just drained my drink. “Is something really going on with you and Gregor?” she finally asked in a low voice. I don’t know if I would have answered, but I didn’t have a chance to, because at that moment an arm went around my waist and a voice murmured close to my ear, “Well, if it isn’t my favorite little screenwriter.” I tried to pull away without seeming rude. “Hey,” I said, laughing as I gently removed Jack’s arm. He stood over me, his curls bouncing, looking slightly drunk and very happy. “Heard you had dinner with Teo and Vanessa. How’d it go?” “Great,” Jack said, pushing his hair off his face. “Teo- he told me to call him that- is so awesome. He had all these cool stories about the actors he’s directed. He told me he’s excited to have me on board. Teo Carreras saying he’s excited to be working with me!” He was clearly in awe of the irony, and he didn’t even know the half of it. “He’s a good guy,” I agreed. Arne had a smirk on his face. It was clear that he and the others didn’t believe for a second that Jack had been hired on his merits. “Did he say what he specifically liked about your work?” he asked Jack, winking at me. I scowled at him. Jack looked a shade uncomfortable. “Well, I happened to have some of the layouts with me that I’ve done, and he looked at them. I also showed him my website. I have a spread on there that’s supposed to be coming out in Atlantic Monthly.” “Uh huh,” Mike said, and he, Dylan and Arne all snickered. I felt bad for Jack. “So, do you get to start photographing tomorrow?” I asked him, as the guys and Molly drifted off to the dance floor. “And how does it work- you just hang around the set and take interesting pictures during the shoot? Did Teo give you any kind of direction?” “No, that’s really it- I just take a boatload of candids and then afterwards marketing decides what to do with them. Just think- in a few months my work will be on movie posters all over the world,” Jack said dreamily. He took a swig of his beer. “I’ll be able to get a job anywhere, now, Elise. I’m in the big time now, and it’s all because of you.” He said the last words tenderly, looking down at me and reaching out to brush a few waves of my hair back from my face.
69
I was drunk enough so that I didn’t pull away. “Let’s dance,” I said, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the others, who had already joined the wriggling, pulsating mob out on the floor. “Let’s show these Ruskies a thing or two.” Jack and I used to go out dancing a lot in our early days of being together, and we always enjoyed ourselves. For a somewhat gawky white guy, Jack was not a bad dancer. I usually just did whatever I felt like, which means sometimes I was channeling the Grateful Dead and other times I was definitely more funky. Tonight I felt like I was watching myself from up above, watching the flashing lights and the gyrating bodies and seeing me, in the middle of it, without a lick of self-consciousness, among all the punks and skinny girls and dirty old men, and you know what- I was having a really good time. Too good, I suppose. I downed two more vodka tonics, and after that, I was officially wasted. By about one a.m., for some reason Jack and I were by ourselves in a darkened corner of the bar, away from the dance floor and the masses. I was leaning on Jack and telling him something that to me seemed very important- something along the lines that I was sure I was getting a blister on my toe- when Arne tapped my shoulder. “C’mon, guys,” he said to us. “It’s late and we gotta get up for the shoot in about five hours.” “Jush a minute,” I told him. “We’ll be right there.” Jack, who at the time I assumed was as wasted as I was, but now that I think about it, had only had one beer since arriving at the club, slipped his arms around me. “I can carry you,” he said. “If your foot hurts too much to walk.” “Ah, no,” I said, laughing as though he’d said something hilarious. Jack wasn’t laughing. “Elise,” he said, getting serious all of a sudden. “Do you have any idea how much I’ve missed you? You remember how much fun we used to have, going out?” He made a sweeping gesture, as though to include all the current inhabitants of the club in his fond reminisces. I vaguely thought I should try and change the subject, but Jack continued. “This job means a whole new future for us, Elise. I’m not just a loser taking pictures of bratty kids all day, anymore. We can work together- you can write more scripts and I’ll work on the movies. We can be, like, a team.” He was being painfully sincere. I felt a slight queasiness. “Oh, Jack,” I said weakly.
70
He must have taken my words for some kind of agreement, or invitation, because before I could utter another one, he leaned in and kissed me. And drunk as I was, I kissed him back. It was weird, like coming home after a long trip, or putting on a favorite old shirt. It was like nothing had ever changed between us. We must have kissed that way for a couple of minutes, before my dopey drunken brain told my lips to stop being foolish, and I suddenly broke off and pulled away. “What?” Jack said, looking surprised. I clapped my hand over my mouth, and realized that I had to get out of the club that very minute, somehow find my way out of the bomb shelter and out into the night. I turned and ran, pushing through the crowds, up the passageway and back out the door, where I promptly puked all over the sidewalk, no doubt drawing very angry glares from the crowd still waiting patiently behind the velvet ropes. I heard exclamations from the bouncers, and then Jack shouting. He must have run after me. I felt strong hands lift me- I was pretty near passing out at that point- and drag me away, down the sidewalk. Then I heard other voices, Molly’s among them. “Elise, Elise, you okay? Let’s get her into the taxi- wait- do you think you have to throw up again?” “I dunno,” I mumbled, spitting. “I don’ want the KGB to get me. Take me back to New York, dammit! You can puke wherever the hell you feel like it there.” I heard a couple of chuckles from the guys. Jack’s arm was firmly around my shoulders. I could barely walk; the sidewalk kept undulating under my feet. “Make it stop,” I told Jack. “Damn shidewalk’s moving.” “Let’s just get her in a cab,” Molly said. “Who cares if she pukes in it? It won’t smell any worse.” I was half-lifted, half-dragged into a cab. Molly and Jack got in with me. “Here,” Jack said, shoving something into my hands. “You can throw up into my jacket if you need to.” “Hey, no way,” I said. “I am not goin’ to throw up into your new jacket! You jush got that yeshterday, ‘member? I am not sure what I babbled about on the way back to the hotel, but I am told that I was pretty hilarious, at some point attempting to lead everyone (including the driver) in a George Michael sing-along. When we got to the hotel, Molly and Jack somehow guided me out of the car and up the elevator to my room.
71
At that point, I was so tired all I wanted to do was sleep. Molly sat me down on the edge of the bed and pulled a bottle of water out of the mini fridge. “Drink this,” she ordered. She went to the sink and got some ibuprofen. “And take these,” she said, shaking two into my hand. “You’ll thank me in the morning.” Jack stood by the door, arms folded, watching me. I obediently swallowed the pills and drank some water. “Good,” Molly said, pulling my shoes off my feet and yanking down the bed covers. I curled up on the bed. Jack came over to us. “You go on,” he told Molly gently. “I’ll take care of her.” Molly looked down at me. “Is that okay?” she asked me. “Suuuuuure,” I said. “Jack and me, we go way back.” “Okay,” Molly said. “She’s all yours.” She left the room. Jack sat gingerly on the edge of the bed. “Do you want to change?” he asked. “Sleeping in jeans is not comfortable.” “You’re jush trying to trick me into getting naked,” I mumbled into the pillow. “Oh, come on, Elise. I won’t even look. Here.” He went over to my suitcase and pulled out some shorts and a t-shirt. “I’ll go in the bathroom until you tell me to come out.” “For God shakes,” I said, sitting up and pulling my sweater over my head. “We were together for a million yearsh, Jack. Like I care if you shee me changing.” He seemed to care, though. He went over to the window and stood staring out until I had changed and flung my dirty clothes into a pile on the floor. Then he came back and sat down again. “Do you want any more water?” he asked, turning off the light so that the only glow came from the lamp by the door. “No,” I said, closing my eyes. “Just lie down here for a while. Play with my hair, like you ushed to.” Jack obliged, his warm hands pressing against my scalp, his gentle fingers pulling the strands, like he had done a thousand nights before. I felt myself sinking down, drifting off into oblivion, on a cloud of comfort that I had missed more than I had ever realized. I awoke to my screaming alarm at six the next morning. I opened one eye, reached out, and flipped it off, wondering who the hell had set the alarm to go off so early. I closed my eyes
72
again, but it was too late. The pounding in my head had already begun. It felt like the entire Russian federation had been using it for a soccer ball during the night. I groaned slightly. Somehow I managed to turn over, and realized I was not alone. Jack was sleeping next to me, albeit on top of the covers, completely dressed. It was as though he didn’t even trust himself to strip down to his boxers when we were in the same room together. I would have chuckled at the thought if I hadn’t felt so wretched. I closed my eyes and felt myself drifting back off to sleep. When I woke again, it was broad daylight, from what I could see of the little sliver between the hotel curtains. I glanced at the clock: 8:16. “Jack,” I said, poking him in the side. “We’re late.” He opened his eyes and stared at me in surprise, as if wondering what I was doing there. Then he sat straight up. “Crap,” he muttered. “My first day on the job.” “Oh, don’t worry about it,” I said. “Teo probably won’t even notice.” Jack flopped back down on the pillow. We looked at each other for a minute. “How do you feel?” he asked sympathetically, already knowing the answer. “Pretty horrible.” Jack reached out and stroked my hair. I should have told him to stop, but I was too weak. “You want some Advil?” he asked. “Sure.” He got up and shuffled over to the mini fridge for another water, and got more ibuprofen for me. I lifted myself up from the pillows, swallowed obediently, and then lay back down. “Think I’m gonna rest here for a little while,” I murmured. Jack sat down next to me. “You were pretty freaking funny last night,” he mused. “How much of it do you remember?” “Enough to be embarrassed.” I closed my eyes and pulled the sheet up around me. “Thanks for taking care of me. I vaguely recall some angry bouncers who were probably pretty pissed at me for yakking all over their combat boots.” “Oh, they wouldn’t have done anything to you,” Jack said. “You were too pathetic.” He seemed to be waiting for something. I opened one eye. “Don’t you have to like, take a shower and get ready?”
73
He nodded. “Yeah, I’m going.” He hesitated again. “Do you remember…” he began, and stopped. I sighed. “Yes, Jack, I remember us kissing. No, I’m not mad. But no, it can’t happen again.” He turned a little pink. “I hope I wasn’t taking advantage of you. I didn’t realize how wasted you were until you got sick.” “You slept next to me fully clothed,” I pointed out. “Not exactly taking advantage, I would say.” I put my hand over his. “You’re a good guy, Jack. I had fun with you last night.” He smiled broadly. “It was fun, wasn’t it?” “Yeah, now get lost so I can go back to sleep. Tell Molly to make up some excuse for me to Teo. I’ll meet up with you guys later.” Impulsively, Jack leaned in and kissed my forehead. I didn’t protest. He squeezed my hand and left the room, whistling, of all things, “Faith.” I drifted in and out of an unrefreshing sleep. At ten, my phone rang. “Hello,” I mumbled into it. “Well, good morning, lovely one.” Nothing like a good cure for a hangover. “Hey. How are you feeling?” “Not bad. Better each day. They’ve turned down the drugs, so I’m not quite so foggy.” Gregor’s voice sounded good. “How are you? You sounded like you were asleep. Aren’t you all shooting the chase scene with Sheila this morning?” “They are,” I said, sitting up a little. I took a swig of water. “I guess I had a little too much vodka last night. Haven’t quite made it out of bed yet.” Gregor chuckled. “You’re in the right country for that. Sorry I missed the fun. Did you have a good time, at least?” “Yeah, a few of us went out dancing at some converted bomb shelter. I ended up getting sick outside before we left.” “Oh, poor thing,” Gregor said gently. “Reminds me of a few nights of my own. Do you feel better now?” “I’ll live.”
74
I thought guiltily of my kiss with Jack. I didn’t know if I should say anything to Gregor about it. As if it mattered; he had the Countess with him, waiting on him hand and foot. “Jack was with us,” I hedged. “He’s working on the film now, you know. Teo hired him.” “Really?” Gregor said thoughtfully. “To keep him close by, I suppose, in his circle of suspects? He must be pretty happy about it- Jack, I mean.” “Yeah. He thinks I got him the job.” Gregor’s voice changed slightly. “Oh, I see. So you two have gotten to spend lots of time together up there.” I allowed myself a smile. Here was a gorgeous, desirable movie star, actually- yes, actually sounding jealous of Jack, a somewhat dorky guy from Queens. “Some,” I said innocently. He laughed then. “You’re a cagey one, my dear. Well, looks like I’ll have to get better in a hurry if I don’t want him to steal you back by the time I get up there. Or is it too late for that?” “I don’t know,” I said airily. “Okay, to tell the truth, he did kiss me at the bar last night,” I admitted in a rush. “That was right before I threw up, though. So I don’t think it really counts.” Gregor sounded bemused. “He was probably a little insulted at your response to his advances.” “Probably.” “So he was a gentleman, I assume? Took care of you in your falling-down drunken state?” “Yeah, I guess.” “He’s a good guy, that Jack,” Gregor said slowly. “I’ll have to get to know him a bit when I come up.” I wasn’t sure what he meant by that, so I let it go. “When are you going to get out of the hospital?” I asked, eager to change the subject. “Doctors are coming to evaluate me this morning. Hopefully, later today or tomorrow. They’re very pleasant here, but it’s deadly boring.” Ha. Boring with Clara there instead of me, he meant. “Will you be able to start shooting right away, or do you still have to take it easy?”
75
“They advised me to hold off on any major action scenes for another few days. I spoke to Teo about it and he’s going to try and juggle the schedule.” “Did they say you’ll have a scar?” I asked tentatively. “Probably. You’ll have to work it into the script, I guess. Maybe you can have Sheila hit me over the head with a frying pan. Something interesting.” “Did Teo talk to you about hiring a bodyguard?” I continued. He rustled around. I wondered if he was getting a cigarette. I imagine they would let him smoke in the hospital if he wanted to. It was Europe, after all. My suspicions were confirmed. I heard the sound of a lighter, and then a deep inhale and exhale. “He did, and so did Clara. I suppose you have to weigh in as well.” I bristled at being thrown into the same category as the Countess. “Teo asked me to,” I said honestly. “And it’s not a bad idea. Until we know for sure it was only an accident.” “I’m still thinking it over,” Gregor replied. “Anyway, I’ll let you go now. Just wanted to check in.” “If you are able to leave the hospital,” I said, not wanting him to get off the phone, “when will you fly up?” “As soon as Brian can book the tickets,” he replied, referring to his assistant. I heard the hesitation in his voice, and braced myself. “Clara insists on coming with me, at least for the flight. Hopefully once we’re here she’ll get bloody bored again and want to jet back to Monte Carlo or wherever it is her rich friends are hanging about this month.” He sounded a little disgusted. I hoped he was getting really sick of all her mothering over the past few days. “Okay,” I said, keeping my voice light. I have always been good at keeping my jealous shrew side of me to myself. “Well, keep me posted. We miss you up here. I miss you,” I added impulsively. “That feeling,” Gregor said emphatically, “is most assuredly mutual.” I had missed some of the morning’s filming- fortunately, it was a chase scene with little dialogue- but I did enjoy the rest of the day. It was actually a pretty cool clip, involving Sheila running around the Palace Square, ducking in and out of the enormous archways, shooting at her assailants, and trying vainly to contact Max by radio. It was an arduous task due to the enormous size of the Square itself, which easily rivals St. Peter’s Square in magnitude. It’s more gorgeous,
76
though, with the golden, green and white facades of its three buildings rising up all around. On a clear day like this one, where the crispness of the colors and carvings stood out, it was truly breathtaking. There were extras who were specifically involved in the filming, but there were also tons of onlookers, both tourists and locals, who were obviously interested in watching and sometimes trying to get in the frames, which slowed things down quite a bit. By the time the evening sun had slanted behind the buildings- where it would stay until morning, as this was nearly the time of the famed White Nights- everyone was plain tired. Teo approached me slowly, surrounded by assistants asking him questions. He waved them off and took me aside. “What did you think?” he asked. He looked exhausted, but exhilarated. “Fantastic,” I said truthfully. “I couldn’t have asked for a better backdrop,” Teo said, gesturing around us. “I cannot believe I have never thought to film here before! But anyway, I wanted to have a word with you, not about the film, but about Mac. Can I meet you in an hour, say? For a drink?” “Sure,” I agreed, though my stomach churned at the beverage suggestion. “In the hotel bar, or somewhere else?” “Better make it somewhere else. That little café just down the street from the hotel. You know which one? Idealnaya Chashka, or something like that.” “I’ve seen it. I’ll meet you there.” 8. There is something strange about a city where it never gets dark. You feel like you never have to sleep. At nine, it was still as light as early evening. I hadn’t remembered noticing this the night before but then again, I was pretty wasted by this time yesterday. I met Teo at the coffeehouse and we both ordered tea and the ever-popular blintzes, or bliny as the locals called them. The night had grown cool and it was comforting to warm my hands on the mug. The café was nearly deserted, the passerby outside no doubt heading to dinner or a pub.
77
“I just spoke to Mac,” Teo said, getting right to the point. “He has been given the green light, as you Americans say. He will be flying up here tomorrow afternoon with his countess. She has apparently appointed herself as his nurse.” He sounded irritated. “I wish he could get rid of her. Doesn’t he realize she is the suspect number one?” I hid a smile behind the jam-filled bliny I was eating. “He may realize it,” I said. “But he would never admit it.” “I also got a call from the chief investigator of the incident. He says he is still not satisfied, but without any more information to go on, they are going to have to call it an accident and close the case for now. Not that it matters if the police in Pest are no longer working on it. Anyone who is a suspect is here in Petersburg now.” “So they couldn’t find any clues in the cave?” I asked, half-joking. “No footprints or cigarette ash or anything like that?” “You are mocking me, no?” Teo said, but he wasn’t angry. “No, nothing. So now we have only our brains, you and me.” I was amused and somewhat touched that Teo had included me in his Brain Trust. “Okay,” I began, pushing my plate away. “Well, let’s start with what we know. We know that the best sources of information about the cave, the park rangers, did not think those rocks would have moved on their own, even with so much activity going on the day before.” I rolled the edge of a paper napkin in between my fingers. “I guess the biggest question in my mind about that is, when did someone deliberately dislodge the rocks? Because if it was done the night before, wouldn’t they have fallen before Gregor got there? Weren’t other people climbing up and down them the night before and that morning?” Teo shook his head. “No, you see. According to the testimony of all the crew members and the guide who oversaw the set-up, it was too difficult and dangerous to climb on the rocks with all the equipment. They used ladders. So really, no one but Gregor used the rocks at all.” “Okay. Well, that makes more sense. That begs the question of: how many people knew Gregor would be going up and down the rocks?” “Well, quite a few,” Teo answered. He’d clearly already thought this over. “The crew who was working on that scene, of course. The actors. And anyone who had access to a script, which of course means expanding the circle to my assistants, you, and potentially Jack and Clara. So it’s really too large a number to narrow down with much success.”
78
“So we have to approach it the way we have been, I guess…with who had motive to hurt Gregor. I suppose you asked him?” “The police did, and of course I tried to. He denied that anyone could have a grudge against him.” “He’s pretty famous. Any stalkers in his past?” “Not that he knows of.” Teo stared gloomily out the window. “Which brings us back, again, to our circle of suspects, does it not?” I told Teo about how Molly had seen Clara at the hotel the afternoon of the shoot. He was interested, especially in the bag. “I will have to get Mac to secretly check if she still has the bag,” he said. “I can’t ask her assistants; they will run and tell her. No one has placed her at the cave that morning, but of course, she could have slipped in and out unseen. The rangers themselves admitted they were not at the entrance the entire morning; they had other rounds to make. Anything else? What about Jack?” I thought about Jack, his gentle honest face. “I can’t believe he’d ever do something like that,” I said. “I’m sorry, Teo. I just can’t.” “One never knows what a man will do in a fit of passion,” Teo said quietly. “Although, I will agree, his temperament makes him seem a less likely suspect. Houston’s opportunity was the same as Clara and Jack- he could have come and left when the rangers were somewhere else.” I shook my head. “But except for the bag Clara had, which obviously could have been perfectly innocent, we have nothing else to go on. Nobody saw any of those three going into or out of the cave, if the crew members and park rangers are to be believed. Say it was done the night before, by Jack or Houston. Do either of them have alibis? You said before that the crew was at the cave until pretty late that night, so it wouldn’t have been closed off until after they left.” Teo nodded. “The police did some quiet checking on everyone’s alibis. The hotel concierge told them he saw Sheila and Houston leaving at around eight that evening, apparently for dinner, and come back about two hours later. This jibes with what they both told the police when questioned. Of course, this leaves time before and after that Houston could have gone out to the cave by himself, out a side entrance of the hotel. It is an older hotel, and the only CCTV camera is at the front entrance. I would also not put it past Sheila to cover for Houston if
79
necessary. Your friend Jack was observed having dinner alone at the hotel restaurant and was not seen after that. He told the police he went straight up to his room afterwards, but there is no one to verify that.” “Maybe you can talk to Houston’s wife,” I suggested. “Get a feel from her if there was much resentment of Gregor on Houston’s part. Do you know her at all?” “I’ve met her in passing, at a party or two.” Teo put his empty mug down and shifted in his chair. “She’s a nice lady, not a celebrity at all. Just stays home and raises their children while Houston plays around. This is not his first affair by any means, but she must have been fed up, because word is she kicked him out, as you say, to the curb when he took up with our Ms. Halliday.” “And how long ago was that?” Teo rubbed his bearded chin. “About three, four months ago. In February, perhaps.” I sighed. “And no sightings of Clara anywhere prior to her hotel arrival. Did the police check flight records?” “Yes, and they got hold of her passport from the hotel safe to verify. She passed through customs at about eleven o’clock in the morning. Which does give her some time to account for, since she didn’t check into the hotel until nearly one o’clock, and it’s only about a half-hour ride from the Pulkovo airport. I suppose her assistants would testify under oath that they were all shopping or getting lunch. Her driver has not been questioned. Yet.” I looked closely at Teo. His mouth was set in a hard line. “You are pushing for them to re-examine the case?” “I am, and using my connections to do so. My staff and I became quite friendly with the Minister of Tourism when we were planning the filming in Pest. I also spoke with the mayor there several times prior to our arrival. I contacted them both today and urged them to keep their police investigating the matter.” I pushed my hair off my neck. “Teo, it’s late, and we’re both tired. Gregor gets here tomorrow, and I will try again to get him to hire a bodyguard. I will also try my best to see if he can tell us more to shed light on what may have happened, who could have been involved. But if Clara stays, I will probably hardly get to see him at all.” Teo smiled grimly. “I doubt she’ll stay more than a day or two. My suggestion to you would be to play it very cool with Mac, so she will not feel threatened. Then she will indeed
80
think it is safe to leave him. Since the accident, the press, you know, they are very much more interested in this film. You will both have to watch yourselves.” I nodded. As if we didn’t have enough problems with Clara and Jack being involved, we also had the media scavengers ready to swoop down on us at any sign of weakness. I wondered if I should just give up on ever being with Gregor. Teo must have seen something in my face. “Don’t lose heart, little one,” he said softly, leaning in and patting my hand. “It will work out for you and Mac, I am sure of it. You arewhat do they call it- a rare gem in this business, trust me. He would be a fool not to know that too.” I felt better after he said that. I only hoped that he was right. The next day dawned clear. I woke up early and went out on the little balcony outside my room. The Neva below me was full of activity: little fishing boats heading out for the day’s catch, tourist boats getting scrubbed and ready to load with their own sort of catch, the fat foreigners wanting to view the city from the river. I heard a knock on my door and reluctantly tore myself away from the view to answer it. “Morning,” Jack said. He was showered and dressed, holding a tray of coffee and pastries. “Thought you might like some breakfast.” I was beginning to fear that I was going to turn into one of those fat foreigners if I kept eating like this every day. I didn’t want to seem rude, thought, so I led Jack out to the balcony. “Thanks,” I said, taking a cup. We sat down on the wrought iron chairs and Jack put the tray down between us on the small table. “Amazing view, isn’t it?” I said. Jack nodded. “I could look at it all day. My room doesn’t face this way.” “How’d it go yesterday?” I hadn’t really seen him much since he left my room yesterday morning, only glimpsed him from a distance during the filming. “It was awesome. I just kind of did my thing. I think I got some pretty good shots. We downloaded them last night. Rocco said I did well for my first day.” Rocco was the other still photographer- the legitimate one, I guess I should say. “That’s cool.” “So, is Gregor coming back today?” Jack asked, trying to sound casual.
81
I nodded. “I guess his fiancée or whatever- that ice queen chick- she’ll be here too?” It was a fairly accurate description of Clara. I nodded again, trying not to give anything away by my face. “So you and him…” Jack began, then stopped. “Yes?” I asked coldly. “Are you going to tell me if there’s something going on with you two?” I looked at him, trying to decide if I owed it to him to be honest. Finally I answered, “Maybe. I don’t know.” I felt my face get hot. “How can there be? He’s engaged, for God’s sake. To her- I mean, look at her. She’s attractive, and dripping with money, and royalty of some kind. We’re not exactly on the same level.” Jack smiled wryly. “Do you think he really cares about that- I mean, about her being rich and a princess, or whatever she is? She’s sort of hot, I guess, but not any better looking than you. Actually, I think, she looks a little- hard. Like she’s seen and done everything. Jaded.” “Thanks,” I said, brushing crumbs off my lap. “But I’m not an idiot, Jack. It’s okay that I’m not in her league. Whether or not Gregor cares about that- well, it doesn’t really matter. He cares about her. They’ve been through a lot, from what I can gather. And unless he breaks it off with her, he and I have no future. Period.” Jack was quiet for a minute. Then he said, hesitantly, “Then you and me…” I knew this was coming. “Jack, please.” He set down his cup. He looked at me with his childlike brown eyes, soft as a deer’s. “You’re going to sit here and tell me we have no future?” His voice cracked a little on the last word. I stared back at him. “I don’t know,” I said finally. “If I hadn’t called you that night, back in Cadiz, would you have come?” “I didn’t think you wanted me to,” he replied. “When you called, I guess I hoped it meant you were having second thoughts about us.” No, it meant I was really drunk. But I didn’t want to further damage his obviously fragile ego. “Maybe I was,” I allowed. “Look, Jack, I think both of us need to just focus on the movie right now. I don’t mind if we hang out. But can we just knock off the relationship talk for a while?”
82
Jack considered, then nodded. “Fair enough.” He got up and stood at the railing for a minute. Then he came over to me, bent down, and kissed the top of my head. “I’ll catch you later,” he said, and then he was gone. There was a big commotion on the set later that day, when word got around that Gregor was back. We were actually outside again, in the same square, filming the same scene with Sheila, as Teo hadn’t liked a few of the sequences and wanted to redo them. I was standing pretty close to Vanessa when I heard her phone beep with a text message, and she told her assistant that Gregor and Clara had just arrived at our hotel from the airport. “Are they coming here?” the assistant asked. “I don’t know,” Vanessa replied. “He’s not in this scene at all, but he might want to come by just to see how the filming’s going.” I felt my stomach do a slow flip. I wasn’t sure if it was caused by excitement or dread. Perhaps a little of both. I wasn’t sure I was up to seeing Gregor with Clara glued to him like a bad toupee. I didn’t have much choice. Within half an hour, I saw the crowd of onlookers and extras start bobbing and moving around, and then some crew members did too. We were over by the General Staff building, almost underneath the giant arch, and from across the Square I could see Gregor walking towards us, his hair blowing a little in the breeze, nodding at the crowd that shouted and even clapped as he went by. I heard Vanessa’s assistant murmur under her breath, “God, he’s gorgeous.” She was right. Gregor looked even better than how I had held him in my mind’s eye. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt and jeans, and even though as he got closer you could see the scar on his forehead, a red slash the length of my pinky finger, laced with stitches, he was still perfect. The late afternoon sun glinted off the yellow stucco and white columns of the Staff building and threw glints of gold into his hair. He looked, at that moment, like a modern Adonis, powerful and…immortal. I hung back while Teo embraced him (it was quite emotional) and several others shook his hand warmly. Sheila even graced him with a kiss on the cheek. There were a few minutes of chit-chat, questions about the hospital and his injury, and discussion of how filming was going
83
here in the Square. Finally, as the crew slowly resumed their positions and Teo turned his attention back to the film, Gregor was able to work his way over to me. “Hey, beautiful,” he said quietly. I felt shy and happy all at once. “Hey.” I wanted so badly to step forward and embrace him, but instead, I just touched his arm. “As you can see, you were missed.” He nodded and smiled a little sheepishly. “That was quite a hero’s welcome. Rather embarrassing.” He shoved his hands in his jeans pockets like a teenager at a junior high dance. “It’s lovely here, isn’t it?” He looked around in awe. “Unbelievable. I mean, I’ve been here before, but to be filming here- it’s a different experience.” “And it never gets dark, does it, this time of year?” “Yeah, it’s the what-do-you-call-it, the White Nights. Makes it hard to sleep, like you’re missing something.” I scuffed my shoe on the stones in my own imitation of an awkward seventh-grader. “How was your flight?” “Fair. My head was bothering me some. I remembered to drink a lot of water. It wasn’t my choice beverage, but with the medication, I’m not allowed alcohol. At least I can still smoke.” As if this reminded him, he pulled out his cigarettes. “I had to cut back a bit in the hospital, you should be glad to know. I’m down to half a pack a day.” “That’s good,” I said, though I had never told him his smoking bothered me, because it didn’t really. I had known the man for only a few weeks; I wasn’t about to start commenting on his personal habits. “How much longer do you take the medication?” “I actually cut way back today, and tomorrow I should be just on ibuprofen. I’ll see how that goes.” “Good. I hope the filming’s not too hard on you. I think Teo was planning to do some easier scenes- not much of the action parts yet.” Gregor sighed. “Easier in his mind meaning the sex scenes with Sheila. He’s not the one who has to participate in them.” I laughed. “It can’t be that bad. You appeared to be enjoying yourself in the one I saw.” “Only because I was pretending she was someone else.” Gregor smiled, and edged a little closer to me. “Which brings to mind- when are you and I going to spend some time alone together?”
84
I tried not to get sucked into the magnetic field he was radiating. “I don’t know,” I said lightly, stepping back. “I’m not the one who has a fiancée staying in my room.” “Touché,” Gregor replied. “But she isn’t staying in my room. I told her we were taking separate suites, and I made sure they are not anywhere near each other. She is leaving tomorrow, Tuesday at the latest, anyway.” “How did she respond to that?” I asked, secretly picturing the look on her dead-white face when he told her. “The separate rooms, I mean.” “Oh, she played it very cool. She rarely tells me what she really thinks, so I have no idea. Perhaps she was relieved. She was getting quite bored of being my nurse, I can tell.” I couldn’t imagine ever being bored of being Gregor’s nurse. I’d take care of him till he was a hundred and ten. “Well, I’d love to see you,” I said. “But it’s awfully risky. And…” He smiled coyly. “And?” “And it’s still not right, Gregor. It’s not fair to her.” The words stuck in my throat; I didn’t want to say them. I didn’t want to care about her or what was fair or not fair. I wanted to throw myself in his arms and have him whisk me away to the Winter Palace and hide somewhere in a corner behind a statue and kiss him all White Night long. But somewhere along the way in my life, I had unfortunately acquired a conscience. “Okay, then,” he said. “You win. We’ll just go to dinner. Dinner’s innocent enough, isn’t it?” 9. And so it was that later on that night, about nine o’clock, we found ourselves ensconced in a very cozy booth at a small, quiet restaurant drinking a Gorilka (Ukrainian home-made vodka) tonic for me and seltzer for him. We ordered baked Sudak fish and blintzes stuffed with all sorts of savory and fattening things. I hadn’t believed I would ever drink vodka again, but hey, it was Russia and I’m sure I’m not the first tourist who’s broken that promise. “How did you get away?” I couldn’t help asking. Gregor had already been waiting at the restaurant when I got there. It was tucked away in a little alley far from all the tourist attractions, and it had taken my cab driver three passes to find it.
85
Gregor smiled and reached over to squeeze my hand. “I pled a headache. Which is the truth, actually, but it wouldn’t have kept me from seeing you alone.” We talked about how filming was going. I don’t think either of us really wanted to discuss the accident, or Clara or Jack. I was just glad to see him in front of me, all in one piece, the angry scar on his head the only reminder of what had happened. When the waiter came to clear our plates and bring us coffee, Gregor lit a cigarette and stared out the window at the dusk. “So it stays like this all night,” he mused. “I was in Alaska once for filming and I got to see the Northern Lights. I’ll never forget how amazing it was.” “Wow,” I said. “I can imagine.” “The best way I can describe it is like a phantasm,” Gregor mused, his eyes far away. “Like a ghost, taking over the night sky. I could see how people in ancient times would have taken it as a sign from God.” I nodded. “Much more convincing than a stray comet or a planet, I would think. It would make me sit up and take notice, for sure.” “Are you a religious person?” Gregor asked, bringing his gaze back to focus on me. “Being that you have this moral code you’ve reminded me of on more than one occasion.” His tone was gently teasing, and I smiled sheepishly. “Religious, not really,” I replied, stirring my coffee. “I don’t think any one religion has a monopoly on virtue. In fact, many of them seem to be completely the opposite. Calling for killing and hatred of anyone who disagrees with your particular beliefs.” Gregor tapped out his ashes. “I used to believe in God,” he said slowly. “I mean, I always tried to. My mother is very devout. Church once during the week and twice on Sundays. I guess it’s helped her deal with what’s happened in her life. I always went with her, until I was out on my own. Given all the trouble I got into as a teenager, it’s obvious not many of the lessons sank in,” he chuckled. “I think you can be a perfectly good and kind person without religion,” I said. “So you still don’t believe in God?” Gregor ground out his cigarette and reached for his coffee. “I don’t know. I’d like to, of course. It seems a bit safer than the alternative, which is that we are all thrown onto the planet for no particular reason at all. I mean, I suppose for me, I just don’t understand the why of things. Why are some people born into lives of grinding poverty and despair while others live
86
carelessly, with no concerns beyond where to take their next vacation or which luxury handbag to buy next? I mean, if there is a God, why does He distribute resources so unevenly?” “I don’t know,” I admitted, sensing who he meant by the handbag reference. “It’s something I’ve thought about as well.” I sipped slowly, choosing my words. “I guess maybe those of us who have a lot are supposed to help those who don’t. Maybe that’s why we’re all here. To even things out.” “So God’s a communist at heart? Not sure how well that would go over here, anymore.” He swept his hand out towards the nearly empty restaurant. I shrugged. “I don’t know.” I looked closely at Gregor. “I don’t suppose all this soulsearching has to do with what happened the other day at the cave?” He smiled wryly. “Well, it’s not every day that one has a near-death experience. I guess I was just curious to see if you’d progressed any farther than I had in discovering the meaning of life.” “I don’t think so,” I said softly, reaching out and taking his hand. “I know that I’m so happy you’re okay, I’m willing to thank God, Allah and Jehovah for it. But maybe it’s a journey that you’re just starting, and the answers will come to you if you keep looking hard enough.” After dinner, we took a stroll along Nevsky Prospect, back towards the Square and our hotel. We did not hold hands, though I longed to, seeing the other couples out walking too, their arms around each other, lavishly displaying their affection. We passed the Palace Square and finally stopped by the river, looking out over towards the fortress, glowing eerily in the darkening sky. It was easy to picture it as being the bleak prison it had once been. “We have Tuesday off,” Gregor said. “We’ll have to hit the Hermitage and St. Peter and Paul’s, at least. That’s where all the tsars are buried.” “Sounds excellent,” I said. “You’ll love the Hermitage. But the Palace would be worth seeing even if you never looked at a painting. It’s just so opulent.” Gregor laughed. “Sounds wonderful,” he said. He glanced around, but no one was close by, so he put his arm around me. He drew me closer. The night had grown cool, and I pressed against his warm chest. “And since you’ve been before, you can show me everything worth seeing.” I nodded. It was so nice, just standing on the wall looking down at the water, across at the soft glow of the other half of the city, at the boats coming into the docks, at the people around
87
us, enjoying the rare summer nights of a city used to bone-cracking cold. For a moment, it was easy to forget everything else- Clara, Jack, the accident. Finally, Gregor said softly, “I think I’ve just had an answer come to me. Which is, we need to go back to your room now.” I allowed him to lead me the short distance back to the hotel. Fortunately, it seemed most everyone had turned in, as it was close to eleven and we had another early day ahead of us. We did not touch as we walked to the elevator, and it wasn’t until we were safely in my room with the door locked behind us that I breathed a sigh of relief. Gregor smiled wickedly. “It’s a bit like being in school, isn’t it? Sneaking around and hoping your mum doesn’t catch you with your britches down.” I went over to him where he stood with his back to the door. Slowly, I reached for his belt buckle and undid it. “You mean like this?” I said softly. His breathing was ragged in my ear as I undressed him, tenderly, taking care of his cut forehead. I let him take off my own clothes, and finally, we tumbled onto the bed. “Does this hurt?” I asked breathlessly, barely touching his scar with my lips. “I’m all right.” “Are you sure you’re up for this?” “Interesting choice of words.” He lay back on the bed, while I kissed him everywherehis lips, cheeks, eyelids. “I feel pretty damn good right now.” I had never felt so warm. It was like he was the sun, and I was cold-blooded, taking all the radiance from him and using it to sustain myself. I wanted to wrap myself around him and stay that way forever. “You okay?” I murmured when at last we disentangled ourselves. I nestled into the crook of his arm and looked at his profile in the dim light of the bedside lamp. “The understatement of the year, my dear.” Gregor rubbed his nose. “Be a love and get me my cigarettes? That way I get to see your bum again.” I got up, shaking said bum a bit for his benefit, then got the pack from his jacket on the floor and crawled back into bed. “This doesn’t solve anything, you know,” I said. “Sleeping together, I mean.”
88
“I am a firm believer that sex can remedy many of life’s problems,” Gregor replied. “Look at it this way. Say you have to do your taxes, or something horrible like that. If you have sex, you still have to do your taxes afterwards, but at least you’ve just had sex.” I laughed. “True.” I watched the smoke curl up from the bed and disappear into the ceiling. “But…” I stopped. I didn’t want to ruin this moment by talking about Clara, but I forced myself to. “Gregor, do you love her?” I regretted saying it right after it escaped my lips. But I have never been one to avoid difficult discussions. There is no sense in ignoring things and hoping they just go away. I decided to try and explain that to him. “I’m sorry to put you on the spot,” I added in a rush. “But I grew up in a house where nobody really liked to talk about anything important, so we just didn’t. Guess I’m still making up for it.” Gregor smiled, but his lips were a little tight. “Ah, Elise,” he said. “Isn’t there a song like that? Oh, Elise, it doesn’t matter what they say,” he sang softly. He finished his cigarette and ground it into the ashtray that graced every hotel bedside table in Russia. He took his arm away from my shoulders, and I helped him settle another pillow behind his head. He winced, and I sat up. “Can I get you some medicine?” “Sure, why not. The Advil’s in my jacket, the other pocket.” I brought him the bottle and some water. He swallowed two, washed them down, and handed me the glass. “It’s rather wonderful being cared for by someone with no clothes on,” he said. “Though if they introduced this in the hospitals, no doubt the entire socialized medical system would go bankrupt from people never wanting to get well.” I got back under the covers and shivered a little. He drew me close again. “Where were we?” he said. “Oh, yes. You were asking me if I love Clara. Well, let me put it this way. I do love her, for what she has done for me, and the person she has helped me become. But I don’t believe it’s the same love you have for the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.” I ran my fingers lightly along his chest and waited for him to continue. “As I’ve told you, Clara helped me through a difficult time in my life when I was quite out of control. So I guess I’ve felt indebted to her. But I’m not sure we’re terribly well suited. She likes to knock about and travel, while I prefer to work. Maybe in twenty years when I’m too hideous and craggy to get any roles, I’ll feel like kicking back and relaxing a bit, but not now.
89
Clara’s also- well, she likes to control people. And situations. Guess I’m too much of a free spirit to enjoy being managed very much.” I had to ask. “Is this how you really feel, or do you just think you feel like this because I’m around?” “Well, put it this way,” Gregor said, taking a sip of water. He had been staring across the room while he spoke, but now he turned so that he could face me. “We’ve been engaged for nearly two years with no wedding plans. Every time she tries to pin me down to a date or a place, I find a way of getting out of it. I’m nearly forty, Elise. I would say this is how I really feel.” He paused. “Guess that’s another answer that’s come to me. This journey of mine is easier than I’d thought it would be.” I considered his words. “So what are you going to do?” He smoothed my hair off my face. “Good question. The upstanding thing to do would be to break it off immediately, of course. Tell her to pack her bags and leave my life forever. In reality, I’m probably going to have to do it more gently. She’s important to me even if we’re not meant to be together, and I don’t want to hurt her unnecessarily.” His intense blue eyes searched mine. I understood, and truly, I respected him more for his honesty. At least, he certainly seemed like he was being honest. “So you and me…” I said, and found my words failed me. “Do we- do we have…a chance?” Gregor’s smile lit up the room. “I hope so, my lovely.” He ran his hands lightly down my arm. It gave me goose bumps. “Just give me some time to work this out with Clara, all right? In the meantime I will try my best to keep my hands off you.” I laughed. “But tonight,” Gregor continued, pulling me close, “tonight doesn’t count. Tonight, Elise, you are all mine.” I awoke early the next morning, and for a moment, waking up once again in a strange hotel in a strange city, I forgot where I was. Then I looked over beside me. Instead of Jack fully clothed, today it was Gregor, not so fully clothed, beside me on the bed. What an improvement. I watched him for a few minutes, just marveling at his bone structure, his face smoothed by sleep, more peaceful than I’d ever seen him. His muscled arm was thrown carelessly over
90
me, and I wondered if he would wake up and wish I were someone else, or would be glad that I wasn’t. I wondered how many other women he’d woken up with. I’m fairly sure they outnumbered my past bedmates. I reflected upon the night before, and wondered if Gregor really meant what he’d said about breaking up with Clara. After all, they’d been together for several years. And he’d only known me for a couple of weeks. Jack’s statement came back to me, harshly: He’s notorious for jumping into bed with anyone he’s working on a movie with. I was sure he was just regurgitating some old tabloid gossip he’d heard, but it still stung. Because it wouldn’t surprise me one bit, seeing how smooth Gregor was with me. It certainly hadn’t taken him more than a couple of tries to get me into bed. I wondered mightily as I reluctantly slid out from under his arm and headed for the shower. When I came out, Gregor was stirring. I went over to the window and opened the curtains slightly, just enough to let in a few rays of sun. I sat down on the edge of the bed beside him. “Good morning,” I said, brushing my fingers along his arm. He looked at me, and smiled a little. “Good morning,” he said, rubbing his eyes. “What time is it?” “Six-thirty. I know you’re supposed to be on the set by seven, but I hated to wake you, you looked so peaceful.” “I could stay in bed all day with you,” Gregor said wistfully, twirling a lock of my damp hair around his finger. “We could turn the phones off, watch badly dubbed movies and order in room service.” “Don’t tempt me,” I said. Gregor’s hand slid from my hair onto the back of my neck, and then under my robe. “You mean like this?” he asked, gently pulling me down onto the bed. I didn’t have to reply. He already knew the answer to that. But I still had questions that would have to wait. Fortunately for Gregor, I suppose, the day was spent finishing Sheila’s scene in the Square and then filming a conversation between Sheila and Gregor that (surprisingly) did not lead to sex. That sequence took place in a restaurant across the river. Gregor slipped back easily
91
into his role. For him, portraying a roguish character who didn’t play by the rules was not that much of a stretch. After we wrapped for the day and were back at the hotel, Teo and I sat down with him and Vanessa at the bar to discuss how we were going to work his injury into the movie. Gregor nursed a whiskey and soda (he was off his prescription medicine and was able to drink again) and listened to the three of us exchange ideas. The whole cave sequence was definitely going to have to be re-shot. But nobody really wanted Gregor to risk climbing on those rocks again, no matter how much the rangers might test them out. He could use a harness this time, but he would still run the risk of the rocks dislodging. Another option was to redo the scene on a sound stage back in L.A. Also, we were going to have to work his injury into the movie. The film was being shot relatively sequentially, so we had to show him getting hurt around the time he was in the cave. “Well, why don’t you brainstorm the changes during the next few days, Elise, and then we’ll take a look at it when you’re done,” Vanessa said. “No rush, we still have to stay on schedule with the rest of the shoot.” “No problem,” I said, yawning. Needless to say, Gregor and I had not gotten a whole lot of sleep last night. He caught my eye and we both smiled guiltily. “I’ll work on it tomorrow.” Teo looked from Gregor to me. “Looks as though you two need to turn in,” he said, signaling for the server to bring the check. “I’ll sit up a bit if you want to talk,” Gregor told Teo. “I have to go make some phone calls,” Vanessa said. She excused herself and left. The three of us huddled together closer. “Are you feeling all right?” Teo asked Gregor. “The shooting, it is not to much for you?” “Just a slight headache,” Gregor answered, putting his hand to his temple. “Nothing a couple of drinks won’t cure.” I wanted to reach over and rub his head for him, but I didn’t dare, even in front of Teo. Not in plain sight in the hotel bar. I clasped my hands in my lap and waited. “You have not hired a bodyguard,” Teo pointed out. Gregor traced the ring of moisture his glass left on the table. “Brian has flown three in from the UK and he is interviewing them tomorrow. If he thinks any of them is worthwhile, I’ll meet with them. I don’t want some muscle-headed guy following me around and acting as though he’s going to beat up the next person who lays eyes on me. They have to be discreet.”
92
“I am sure they will be,” Teo said soothingly. I could tell he was secretly ecstatic that Gregor had listened to him. “Now listen, Mac. I want to talk to you very seriously about this.” I made as if to get up, but Teo stopped me. “No, Elise. You stay, please. You are one of the only people I can trust here. Mac,” he continued, his dark eyes firmly on Gregor’s light ones, “I know you want to believe that what happened at the cave was an accident, but I am convinced that it was not. I know you don’t want to think that anyone would try to hurt you, but please, have you remembered anything from your past, no matter how slight, that would make you think someone was angry or upset with you? It could have been from a long time ago, it could have been just days ago.” Gregor tipped his glass and finished his drink. “Yes, please,” he said to the server when she asked if he’d like another. He rubbed his chin and contemplated the glossy wood surface of the table for a good minute. Then he said quietly, “Possibly. Possibly more than one person.” Teo and I exchanged surprised glances. We had both expected a complete denial. “Can you tell us about them?” Teo breathed, as though hardly believing his luck. Gregor’s eyes went from Teo to me and back. “Well, the first one is the most obvious,” he said. “My fiancée. She would have to be blind and deaf to not know that I am attracted to Elise.” He reached down and briefly put his hand over mine, still clenched in my lap. “But we haven’t spoken of it yet. Do I really think she was angry enough to try and kill me? No. If she did anything it would have been only to frighten me, perhaps.” Teo did not look convinced. “Okay. I think we all understand that situation. Has Clara ever been violent towards you? Or threatened you?” Gregor seemed taken aback. “No, of course not.” Teo seemed to want to add something, maybe about the old incident with the poisoned actress, but he apparently decided to let it go for now. “All right, then, we move on. Who else is there?” Gregor was quiet a minute. Then he said, “I have a father, Teo. A father whom I have never met. Perhaps he thinks I might be worth something to him dead. He could have hired someone. This is just speculation, of course. I have no idea if my father is even alive. But I have never heard from him, which is strange. Usually when people become rich or famous they have long-lost relatives coming out of the woodwork to claim them.”
93
A shadow crossed Teo’s face. For a moment, he seemed to be struggling with some emotion. Then it was gone, and I thought I must have only imagined it. “That is thin, yes,” he agreed. “But we have to accept it as a possibility. That would require a bit of research. I believe you have your mother’s name, no? Did she ever tell you your father’s name?” Gregor shrugged. “She may have told me his real name, she may have made one up. It’s not on my birth certificate.” “What did she say it was?” “Peter- Peter Collins.” Teo nodded, eyes downcast. “And she told me he was in the Royal Navy. Which again, may have been a lie. He could have been married, he could have been a foreigner- I simply have no idea.” Gregor sounded very tired, as though it physically drained him to speak of all this. I reached over and took his hand. “I’m sorry I don’t have more to tell you about him,” he finished. Teo sensed the pain behind his words and hurried on. “Is there anyone else, then, Mac?” Gregor shrugged. “I’ve had my share of failed relationships. Nothing terribly serious. No stalkers that I know of. I know you think Houston Mill is a possibility because of my getting the role of Max over him. I wouldn’t count him out, but I don’t think he’s got the balls- pardon the expression- to do something that horrible. To hate me enough to send rocks crashing down on my head? It’s hard to imagine anyone like that.” Teo nodded sympathetically. “Of course, of course.” It occurred to me that if he hadn’t made it as a movie director, he probably would have been a pretty good shrink. “But haven’t the police closed the case anyway?” Gregor asked. Teo sat up and puffed out his chest a little. “I have managed to persuade them to re-open it. I just want to be sure, Mac. You’re a good friend, and I don’t want you to get hurt again.” He spoke simply, but his words were searing. I blinked back tears. “That makes two of us,” I said in a low voice. Gregor looked from one of us to the other, and finally nodded. “I can’t fight you both,” he said at last. “I will cooperate however I need to, Teo. Tell them to ask anyone whatever they need to ask.”
94
We were getting up from the table when Clara startlingly appeared in the bar. She was wearing what I would call lounging pajamas, pink silky things which were probably ridiculously expensive. They hung on her like she was a coat hanger- she was looking pretty thin these days. Her face was wan and hungry. I hadn’t seen her since our encounter at the hospital. “Gregor,” she said, completely ignoring Teo and me, “it’s very late, darling. You need to go to bed.” He seemed as taken aback to see her as we were. I remembered that they had separate rooms. “I’m on my way, thanks,” he said with forced politeness. “We were just catching up a bit.” Clara came over and took his hand as though you might to a child. “You’re still not well,” she said, peering into his face. “I don’t think I’ll fly out tomorrow after all. I’ll stay with you a few more days until you’re completely better.” She threw me a look of pure triumph. I don’t often get angry, and I was trying hard not to reach out and smack her skinny face. Gregor glanced at me and must have seen how upset I was, because he quickly turned and shooed Clara out of the room. After they had gone, Teo lifted his eyebrows at me. “Wow. She is one jealous lady, no?” he said softly. I just nodded, too shaken to reply. Gregor called me a short while later as I was crawling into bed. “Sorry about that,” he said. I could hear him lighting a cigarette and taking a drag. “Not sure what she was trying to prove in there.” I pulled the covers up to my chin and closed my eyes. “I know exactly what she was trying to prove, Gregor.” “Ah, well, I suppose. I think I managed to talk some sense into her. I told her I would be ridiculously busy for the next few days and there was absolutely no sense in her staying on. She told me she would think about it.” Gregor’s voice turned wistful. “I was hoping to see some sights with you tomorrow.”
95
“Yeah, well, guess not,” I said. I was trying not to sound bitchy, but I don’t think I was succeeding. All I could think was that Gregor was going to have a harder time shaking Clara than he’d thought. I could only imagine the tricks she had up that drapey silk sleeve of hers. “Don’t be angry,” he said softly. My heart thawed a little at his tone. “I’m not angry,” I said wearily. “I have no right to be. I don’t want to make this any harder on you than it will be already.” “Well, I will get to the Hermitage with you, no matter what,” Gregor declared. “Even if we have to break in during the night. So now off to sleep, my Elise. Sweet dreams.” 10. Gregor kept his word. The following afternoon, while Clara went off to the spa with her assistants/ hangers-on, he arranged our excursion. We met at a side entrance of the Hermitage so no one would see us going in. He had managed to set this up this with the museum, and while it was still open to the public, at least no one would be photographing us inside, as cameras were prohibited. Gregor also took the trouble of wearing a baseball cap pulled down low over his eyes. We wandered for a little while, just taking in the magnificence of the building itself, before heading for my personal favorite, the Italian masters wing. I had taken a couple of art history courses in college, and I murmured a few comments as we took in works from Michelangelo, Raphael, Titian, and others. “I like this one,” Gregor said, pausing in front of Titian’s St. Sebastian. He studied the uplifted face of the martyr, the golds and crimson hues of the background. “Nobody paints like that anymore. They throw a blob of paint on the canvas and call it art. What the hell’s that?” I smiled a little. “Rebellion against all the centuries of this, I suppose,” I replied, sweeping three Raphaels and a Da Vinci in my gesture. “But I agree, the modern backlash gets to a point of ridiculousness.” We paused before Giorgione’s depiction of one of my favorite subjects, Judith of the Bible. Gregor cringed a little. “What’s this one?” he asked. “Judith wanted to save her people from the Assyrians,” I explained. “She snuck into the camp of their army commander, who was named Holofernes. She dazzled him with her beauty
96
and intelligence. But then when she was left alone with him after a banquet, she beheaded him with his own sword.” Gregor looked at the painting, showing a surprisingly serene Judith with her foot resting lightly on Holofernes’ severed head. “Rather grim, isn’t it?” “This is actually the least violent version I’ve seen,” I replied. “The ones by Caravaggio and Gentileschi are much bloodier. She looks pretty placid, doesn’t she?” Gregor nodded and kept walking. “Perhaps I need to watch myself around you,” he said jokingly. “You seem to have quite a fascination with this Judith.” I’m not the one you need to watch, I thought, taking one last look as I followed him. Did I imagine it, or was Clara’s face demurely peering out at me from inside the frame? The afternoon passed too quickly, and soon we realized we’d spent three hours together. Gregor had the decency not to check his phone once, but I saw him glance at it as we finished up looking at Peter I’s palace. “I hate to cut this short,” he said, leading me over to a quiet corner and sitting down. “But I told Clara I’d meet her for dinner.” I nodded. It was the first time he’d spoken of her all day. “She’s leaving in the morning,” he added. “Thank heaven for small favors, I suppose.” I took a deep breath. “Are you going to tell her- anything?” He rubbed his chin, which I was learning was what he did when he was trying to deal with an uncomfortable situation. “I’m going to suggest that we take a break from each other.” I nodded. I couldn’t ask for more than that right now. I had gotten myself into this; I was the one who swooned like a sixteen-year-old the minute Gregor made googly eyes at me. “Okay,” I said. “I hope it goes all right.” I touched his sleeve. “I appreciate you making the effort to come today. I really enjoyed going around with you.” “It was a wonderful tour,” Gregor said. “I had no idea you knew so much about art. If the screenwriting gig doesn’t work out, you could always apply for a post here.” We both smiled. Gregor took my hand and squeezed it, gently. I knew we both hated that we couldn’t hold hands or show any affection in public, unless it was dark outside. And it never got very dark in St. Petersburg this time of year. “What are you going to do tonight?” he asked as we slowly made our way back out of the building.
97
“Probably dinner with Molly and some of the crew,” I said casually. “Actually, Arne mentioned this karaoke bar he wanted us to try. All the songs are English- I mean, American and British artists.” “You sing, too?” Gregor asked. “Oh, not well. I will probably just listen. It would be interesting to hear Russians belting out Neil Diamond songs.” “Indeed.” Gregor looked thoughtful. Later that night, after an excellent dinner and even more excellent Russian vodka, I learned the reason for Gregor’s thoughtful expression. We had been in the karaoke bar for about five minutes when Vanessa, who had come out with us, received a text on her cell phone. “Sheila’s coming,” she informed us. “And Houston, and Teo even. And apparently they ran into Gregor and the countess out at dinner, and they’re joining us too.” I felt a slow burn creep into my face that had nothing to do with the alcohol. I saw Jack’s eyes flash darkly. He had come out with us but was keeping his distance from me, pouting a little, I suspected. He had asked me to sightsee with him today, but I had told him I already had plans. Of course, he suspected whom my plans involved. “Wow,” Arne commented. “We must be popular, all the big guns are coming out.” He turned to Molly. “Come help me choose a song,” he told her. “I need to impress Teo.” I saw that Molly took his hand as they walked over to the table with the book of song choices in it. I must have been so wrapped up in my own problems that I hadn’t even noticed love blooming among others on the movie set. Jack sat down on a stool close to me; I knew why, of course. “What are you going to sing, Lise?” “You’re kidding, right?” I asked. “I would have to drink a whole bottle of this stuff before I got up there.” I nodded at my drink. “Oh, come on.” Jack teasingly punched my arm. “What do you care? You’ll never see any of these people again. I mean, the Ruskies. And they’re all drunk or high anyway. They’ll never remember.” I glanced around at the crowd, which was pretty tame compared to the one at the dance club the other night. It was more working-class, less androgynous. “That’s okay,” I said. “What
98
about you?” Jack sang all the time in the shower. He wasn’t nearly as good as he thought he was, though. “I already signed up,” he said proudly. “What song?” “It’s a surprise.” He winked and swigged his beer. I stirred the straw in my drink. Jack seemed to be in a better mood than just ten minutes before. Uneasily, I wondered if he was planning on doing something weird when Gregor arrived, like hang all over me or kiss me. I fervently hoped not. I was not in the mood to watch a pissing contest. “What should I sing?” Vanessa asked, plopping down on the stool across from me. She shook her bleached hair; I wondered idly if it would fall out. “I’m more of a disco girl myself.” She lit up a cigarette. “Anyone?” she asked, holding out the pack. “What the hell,” I said, taking one. Jack looked at me in some surprise; he knew I didn’t smoke. I took a drag, savoring the nicotine head rush. I blew the smoke out and said to Vanessa, “I dunno. Who’s your favorite artist?” “I grew up on Donna Summer,” Vanessa said, expertly flicking her ashes. “And Abba. Even old Michael Jackson. Damn, those were some good times,” she said, tilting back her drink. “I was twenty, maybe twenty-one. Used to hang out at all those clubs- Studio 54 and all. It was a crazy, crazy scene.” “I can imagine,” I said with interest. “Sooo many drugs,” Vanessa continued, a faraway look in her eyes. “I never touched coke- I had a cousin who died from heroin, so I stayed away from the hard shit. But boy, there were some messed-up cokeheads there, all skinny, hadn’t eaten or slept in days. And don’t get me started on all the queens.” She finished her cigarette and ground it into an ashtray. “It was eye-opening, that was for sure. I was just a kid from Long Island, going to NYU film school, trying to look cool and show that I could hang with that crowd. Didn’t take me long to see that I couldn’t.” “You’re probably lucky,” I said. “Most of them probably ended up dead or in jail.” “Or with HIV,” Vanessa agreed. “I got out of that when I took my first job in London, so it was goodbye Manhattan. Of course, not that London didn’t have its own scene- punk was pretty big by the time I got there. I actually started in theater- the West End. It wasn’t what I’d
99
been hoping for, but for a kid with zero experience, it was all I could get. I was there for about eight years. I worked on some pretty unmemorable plays before I got a break with a big director there.” Something clicked in my memory. “Gregor worked in the West End too,” I remarked. “It may have been after you were there, though. It was probably in the early nineties.” Vanessa paused. “I left in ‘91,” she said lightly. “Even if we were there at the same time, there were tons of different plays going on. I doubted we’d have come across each other.” Did I imagine it, or did a flicker cross her face that led me to think she was not being entirely honest with me? I decided to file the impression away for later and see what I could find out now without prying. “Yeah,” I agreed. “So then where did you go? Back to New York?” Vanessa laughed a little. “No, it was L.A. after that, and has been ever since. I got married, had two kids, got divorced. The usual crap.” She shrugged. “My kids are seventeen and fifteen and they stay with my ex when I travel on location. Better than taking them out of school all the time and making life harder for them than it has to be as a teenager.” She coughed and took a sip of her drink. We were interrupted then, as Teo, Sheila and Houston all arrived together. Sheila was wearing a glittery top that stood out among the dressed-down crowd; she looked like one of those artificial tinsel Christmas trees. She appeared to be plenty liquored up too. She high-fived the crew sitting with me and laughed as she plunked herself down at the table right next to ours. “Evening, ladies,” she said to Vanessa and me, and nodded at Jack. “Who’s the hottie?” she added, leaning in towards me, not bothering to lower her voice. I could smell the vodka on her breath. “Uh,” I said, flustered, “Jack Hollis. He works on the set. He’s a still photographer.” “Oh,” Sheila said, sticking her arm out across me to shake hands with Jack. “Nice to meet you,” she said to him. He turned a little pink. “You, too.” Sheila smiled. “Houston,” she said, leaning back towards her date, who was not sitting but sort of hovering behind her, a slight scowl on his handsome face. “This is Jack- what did you say- Hollis. Jack, meet Houston Mill.” I was feeling very awkward, being in the middle of Sheila’s sudden chumminess. I hoped she wasn’t going to bring up Gregor. I had no idea if she knew of my past relationship
100
with Jack. I had a feeling she did. Sheila seemed to be one of those people who knew everything remotely scandalous about everyone, no matter how insignificant the people in question were. My hunch was correct, at least about her mentioning Gregor. “So I hear even the countess is gracing us with her ladyship’s presence tonight?” Sheila said, putting her hand lightly on Houston’s arm as he sat down finally. Her heavily made up brown eyes went from me to Jack and back again. “What’s the occasion, I wonder.” I shrugged and looked down at the table. Jack smirked. He seemed only too eager to cozy up to Sheila. Ass-kisser. “She couldn’t find a charity gala to attend,” he said, pleased with his own wit. “Or a polo match, either.” Sheila hooted with laughter. “She’s slumming for sure,” she continued. She was clearly enjoying picking on Clara, probably hoping I’d join in. “I’m sure Gregor will catch hell for it afterwards. She looks like she gives it to him often enough.” Jack glanced at me, and saw my face was distinctly uncomfortable. “So, what are you going to sing?” he asked Sheila, rescuing me. Sheila smiled her wide catlike smile. “I don’t sing,” she informed him. “I just enjoy watching other people make fools of themselves.” That was enough. I stood up abruptly. “Going to choose my song,” I said cheerfully and hurried off, leaving a somewhat deflated Sheila and an openmouthed Jack in my wake. Molly and Arne were still over at the book. “Save me,” I murmured to Molly. “Sheila Halliday’s got it in for me, for some reason.” Arne rolled his eyes. “She’s a real witch. Okay, Elise, help me choose between September Morn and What’s Going On.” I almost laughed at picturing Arne, the typical tall Nordic blonde, grooving to Marvin Gaye. It was promising to be an interesting evening. “Definitely What’s Going On,” I replied. Teo cornered me while I was skimming the book. “You all right, little one?” he asked. “You looked like you were about to scratch my leading lady’s face before.” “She’s trying to rile me up over Gregor,” I replied in a low voice. “I don’t know why. So she can have something to gloat about, I guess. Between her and Clara, I don’t know which one has it in for me worse. And look at her flirting with Jack. She must know about my history with him.”
101
Teo glanced up and saw Sheila, her head close to Jack’s, talking to him earnestly while Houston glowered in the background. “I don’t know if she does,” he said slowly. “People talk, do they not? You don’t let Miss Halliday worry you. She is a mean cat. But I do not like the way she is treating Houston Mill. That one, he can have a very bad temper.” I picked up the pen and signed my name on the sheet for the night’s karaoke selections. “I think I need another drink,” I said. The singing was already underway when Gregor and Clara finally arrived at the bar. I sensed rather than saw their arrival. All the light in the room- albeit dim light, but light all the same- seemed to bathe him in a surreal glow as he entered it. People murmured to each other and touched one another’s shoulders, inclining their heads in his direction. It was as if a religious ritual were underway. Clara beat out Sheila in the overdressed category, with a vivid red top and black skirt, the highest heels I’ve ever seen adorning her geisha-small feet. A single ruby pendant on a black velvet choker adorned her white throat. I wondered if Gregor had bought it for her, and felt instantly ashamed for even thinking about it. They walked in together, but the look on Gregor’s face suggested it had not been an entirely pleasant evening. My heart lifted a little at this. When he scanned the room and his eyes finally landed on me where I was standing over by the bar, his smile seemed aimed only in my direction. I smiled back slightly and dropped my eyes, turning away towards Molly, intent on not giving anything away to anyone who might be watching. Meaning Clara, because I felt her eyes burning into my back like a branding. “Yikes, she just shot daggers at you,” Molly whispered as she handed me my drink from the bar. I took a long sip. “I’m sure.” Gregor gestured to the large round table where Sheila, Houston, Teo, Vanessa and Jack were currently sitting. (Don’t ask me how Jack ended up there). I couldn’t hear what Gregor was saying, but I saw Clara eye the other occupants warily as she eased herself onto a vacant stool. I had visions of her falling backwards onto the floor, crashing into the table behind her, shattering glasses into the air. No such luck. She looked around with an air of one observing the inhabitants of a zoo.
102
A young guy was crooning Sinatra; he wasn’t half-bad, or maybe everyone sounded good after the three vodka tonics I’d downed. I found myself humming along as I sat down with Molly, Arne, Dylan and Mike. Our table was next to theirs, but Gregor was at the farthest side of it, away from me. From my vantage point, I could see both him and Clara clearly. She was watching the singer with a bemused expression. The waitress was handing Gregor his whiskey and soda. He seemed to feel my eyes on him, because he glanced over and lifted his glass in a silent toast. I sighed. It was harder than I expected, watching him sitting with Clara, seeing her occasionally lean in and put her hand on his arm while she spoke to him, tossing her golden head and laughing a little too delightedly at his reply. I knew she was playing it up for my benefit, and I could tell Gregor was uncomfortable being there. But knowing this didn’t really make it any easier on me. After a couple more songs, I went outside for a few minutes to get a breath of air. The bar was oppressively smoky. I noticed Houston Mill on his phone, and tried to sneak back inside without him seeing me. I didn’t want him to think I was trying to overhear his conversation. He clicked his phone shut and walked over to me. “A little stuffy in there, isn’t it?” he asked, his voice low and pleasant. I nodded, inhaling the night air deeply. “That’s an understatement.” He seemed to consider me for a minute, his dark eyes black in the dimness. If I had to cast him in a movie role, it would definitely be as a pirate. He had those swarthy good looks coupled with an undercurrent of dangerousness to him. “I imagine you need a break from the theatrics inside,” Houston continued, jerking his head in the direction of the building. “I don’t mind the singing,” I said innocently. He smiled, a quick flash that came and went. “That’s not what I meant,” he replied. I shrugged. I suppose the entire world knew about my cozy little threesome. Foursome, if you counted Jack. “Are you enjoying St. Petersburg?” I asked, eager to change the subject. He nodded abruptly. “It’s pretty amazing. You had been here before, I would gather, since you wrote about it.” “It may be my favorite city,” I said simply.
103
Houston came to stand a little closer. I was slightly weirded out by his vibe, and couldn’t help taking a step back. “I suppose by now you’ve heard about that actress,” he said unexpectedly. “The one who got poisoned at the premiere of Grecian Urn.” I just stared blankly at him. Was that a warning? “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I replied carefully. “But I’m getting cold. I’m going to head back inside.” I felt a little sick as I sat back down at the table. Molly threw me a curious look, but before she could ask me what was wrong, I saw Jack get up and make his way somewhat unsteadily over to the stage. “Oh, crap,” I muttered. Jack faced the crowd. “This song,” he said, picking up the mike and flashing us all a confident smile, “is a pretty special one for me. I’m going to dedicate it to my ex-fiancée, who is here with me tonight.” A murmur rippled through the room, and I felt my skin crawl. “I won’t embarrass her by pointing her out,” Jack added quickly. “But she still means a lot to me, and I’m hoping that maybe if I sing this song, she’ll remember all the good times we had together, andwell, maybe she’ll give me a second chance.” I slowly sank down onto the stool. Jack was staring right at me, I suppose hoping I would jump up and run over and give him a big hug, or at least smile and wave at him. I just kept my eyes glued to the table, my cheeks on fire. Then he shrugged and turned away a little as the opening chords of Ribbon in the Sky began. It had been a favorite song of ours; I won’t say it was “our song” because we didn’t really have one, but it did touch me just a little bit. Jack’s voice was passable, and the crowd seemed enthralled, I suppose partly because of his cheesy speech at the beginning. I tried not to catch Gregor’s eye; I could only imagine he’d be teasing me about this for days. But when I finally took a chance and glanced over at him, his expression was merely thoughtful. Maybe he was wondering if Jack, mediocre singer and ex-mall photographer extraordinaire, was a greater force to be reckoned with than he’d imagined. Jack nodded at the applause and then bounded off the stage over to me. “Sorry to put you on the spot like that,” he said, his soft eyes shining from the reception he’d gotten. “But it just seemed right, that song.” “It was nice,” I told him. “Thank you.”
104
Jack seemed to hesitate, then reached out and grabbed my hand. “One day you’ll realize we were meant to be together,” he whispered, and then he dropped my hand and he was gone, over to the bar, lost in the crowd. I glanced at my other seatmates at the table, but they were preoccupied with a discussion of whether Arne should stand or sit while performing his number. I sighed and signaled the waitress. This was definitely looking like a four-drink night. Arne was actually pretty good, and if you’ve never seen a big blonde guy singing Marvin Gaye, it’s well worth the visual. He even had a little hip-sway action going. Molly was grinning while she watched him. I was glad to see her happy; she had had her share of unlucky relationships in the past. Gregor’s eyes met mine, and he winked at me. He seemed to be enjoying the spectacle as much as the rest of us. I was up after Arne. I hesitated a little after the emcee called my name; I wasn’t sure if I was feeling bold enough, or at least drunk enough, to go through with making a complete fool of myself on such a grand scale. But then Molly, Mike and Dylan started chanting my name, and Arne, still up on stage, joined in. So I had no choice. I had already picked the song, which was for me the only selection suited to someone of my musical ability, because it didn’t really matter how well I could sing when I was doing Joplin. Arne had agreed to help me by doing back-up vocals, so I didn’t feel quite as exposed with his tall frame beside me as the music started up. After four drinks I didn’t feel particularly nervous, even when I saw lots of eyes on me, including one pair of extremely blue ones which were watching in considerable amusement. I just belted it out, pretending I was driving with my windows down on a hot summer day, which was the only time I really ever cut loose with singing. When I was done, the applause was rather more sympathetic than appreciative, and Arne and I quickly left and went back to our table. The other three were giving us a standing ovation. “Jeez,” I said, slipping back into my seat. “That was awful, huh? Not you, Arne. I meant me.” “It was perfect,” Molly murmured, squeezing my arm. “Gregor couldn’t keep his eyes off you. Clara was absolutely livid. It was great.” I stared at her. “Really?” “See for yourself.”
105
I allowed my eyes to wander over to Gregor’s table. He was not there, but Clara was, and I could see her gripping her martini glass a little too hard. Her knuckles were white, but her face was red. Teo was apparently talking to her, but it didn’t look like she heard a word he was saying. I turned back to Molly. “Wow,” I whispered. “She does look pissed.” The waitress clunked another drink in front of me. “From dat guy at the bar,” she informed me in a bored voice. “Dat movie star.” I looked up and saw Gregor across the room, over at the very end of the bar. I smiled a little, got up, and slowly, casually, made my way over to him. Fortunately, the bar was more crowded now, and the corner where Gregor had positioned himself was dark and out of sight from where Clara was seated. I wedged myself in between him and the slightly sticky wall, and smiled up at him. We both looked at each other for a minute. “Thanks for the drink,” I said finally, “but I think I should be buying you one, after putting you through that vocal disaster.” We both laughed. Gregor was stunning in a black sweater, so soft looking that I wanted to touch it. The sleeves were pushed up to the elbow and I could see the blonde hairs on his arms gleaming. “On the contrary,” he said, leaning in close to me, so close I could see the little lines around his eyes and mouth, “that was quite entertaining. I had no idea you had so much angst inside.” “I didn’t either,” I murmured. “I guess something tonight brought it out in me.” “Well, I thoroughly enjoyed it.” He smiled and reached out to brush my hair off my shoulder. “You didn’t want your drink?” “I’ve had four, which explains how I even got up there,” I answered. “I think I’d better quit while I can still walk. I hope…” My voice trailed off, and I looked down at the floor, at our shoes. “I hope you’re not in trouble,” I finally ended. Gregor’s smile deepened. “I hope I am,” he said. My breath caught a little. He was so close that if I tipped my head up, just the slightest bit, our lips would touch. I had to move away, pressing my back against the wall, trying to escape his aura. “This will never do,” he said, obviously as flustered as I was. “I have to see you later. I’m dropping Clara off in her room and going straight to mine. Can you meet me there? In, say, half an hour?”
106
I nodded mutely. Gregor turned and walked away. I stood alone for a minute or two, catching my breath, giving him a chance to get back to his table safely. Then I followed him. There was another singer onstage, an older woman this time. Molly looked at me quizzically. I just dropped into my seat and smiled at her. Everyone else around us seemed to be watching the singer intently, not noticing I’d left or returned. Over at his table, I saw Gregor finish the last dregs of his drink. He leaned in to Clara and spoke to her. She nodded and picked up her small handbag off the table. I saw him get up from the table and shake hands with Teo and Jack and Houston, smile at Vanessa, accept an air-kiss from Sheila. Clara got up too, nodding coolly at all of them. Then he put his hand on the small of Clara’s back and guided her out the door. After another singer had taken the stage and mangled Barry Manilow quite thoroughly, I clapped politely along with everyone else, and then stood up and stretched a little. “Well, I’m beat,” I said to the others. “Think I’ll head out. You all staying on?” “Yeah, if that’s okay,” Molly said. “You want me to walk you out?” “No, no.” I smiled and waved my goodbyes. I stopped at the table Gregor had vacated and told Teo I would see him in the morning. Jack jumped up like an eager puppy. “I’ll share a cab with you,” he offered. “My driver will take you, no?” Teo said, pressing a number on his cell. “He’s just sitting outside.” Jack and I thanked him and bade him and the others goodnight. Vanessa smiled and waved distractedly. She appeared to be chain-smoking. Sheila gave us a bored nod, and Houston said gruffly, “Catch you later.” We gratefully sank into the leather luxury of Teo’s car waiting at the curb, a far cry from the cramped taxis that were our usual mode of transport around the city. Jack looked around him in appreciation. “So this is how the other half lives.” “Or drives, anyway.” I stared out the window at the twilit night. I was not in the mood for conversation; however, Jack either did not pick up on this or did not care. “I liked your singing,” he offered generously. I half-smiled. “Thanks.”
107
“So who was it directed at?” Jack leaned back and casually crossed his leg over one knee. He put his arm on the back of the leather seat so that it was almost, but not quite, touching me. “Arne,” I replied. He frowned. “Jeez, Jack, it was a matter of utility. I felt like singing, and you don’t have to really be able to carry a tune to sing that song.” He let his fingers dangle so that they brushed against my hair. “Okay, okay. You don’t have to be so touchy.” “I’m not.” I turned towards him. “It was fun. I guess put a little alcohol in me, I channel my inner rock star.” Jack pressed his lips together. “You seeing McKeon tonight?” he asked tightly. I was surprised he wasn’t calling him Mac, he’d gotten so chummy with Teo lately. “Why does it matter?” Jack shrugged. “He still appears to be engaged,” he pointed out. “Yes, he is.” Jack just shook his head. “I don’t get you,” he said. “Don’t you think he’s just using you? I mean, if he really cares about you…” His voice broke off, and he stared away for a minute. I sighed. “What?” “Then he’d dump her.” “It’s more complicated than that, Jack.” “Why? Because he’s a movie star, and she’s loaded? Is he in her will or something?” He was being petulant. I turned away. “Jack, I don’t feel like discussing it. And truthfully, it’s none of your business.” The car pulled up in front of the hotel. Thanking the driver, I got out. Jack followed. We stood at the entrance for a moment, facing each other. “I won’t give up on you,” Jack said finally. He opened the door for me, and I walked in. The lobby was silent; only a clerk behind the desk watched us respectfully. I clicked across the tile floor to the elevator. Jack followed, though his room was on the first floor.
108
I punched the elevator button, then faced him. “I know,” I said. “I think I got that message tonight at the bar.” The doors opened, and I stepped in. “Goodnight, Jack,” I said softly. 11. Ten minutes later, teeth brushed, hair fluffed, and heart pounding, I knocked very softly on the door to Gregor’s suite. There was no answer. I waited, looked around the deserted hallway, and knocked again. Still no answer. Maybe he’d had a harder time saying goodnight to Clara than he’d thought. This actually cheered me a little. Maybe she’d picked a fight with him, and they were arguing, and he was telling her it was over. I wondered where her room was. I could stake it out, listen at the door for shouting. I knocked one more time, then turned to leave. As a last resort I decided to at least try the door. Maybe he’d gotten into the shower and left the outer door open for me. I turned the knob. Surprisingly, it was unlocked. I pushed it open a little, then peeked inside. The suite had an outer sitting room, which was darkened, and empty. There was light shining in from the next room, though. “Gregor?” I called softly. No answer. I went into the suite, closed the door behind me, and then went through the living room into the doorway of the bedroom. What I saw stopped me dead in my tracks. Gregor was lying on the rug, next to the bed. He appeared to be asleep, or at least, he wasn’t moving. He was still wearing his clothes from the bar. And he was lying at an odd angle- like he’d fallen there. “Oh, my God,” I whispered. I went over and quickly knelt down by his side. All the stuff I’d learned in health class fifteen years before flashed into my head. Check his pulse. Check to see if he’s breathing. See if he’s bleeding anywhere. I grabbed his limp wrist and felt for a pulse. It was there, but it was weak and sluggish. I leaned down and put my cheek beside his mouth. His breathing, too, was slow, labored. He was white and clammy- sweat stood out on his forehead.
109
“Gregor,” I said, looking him over carefully, making sure he wasn’t bleeding anywhere. “Gregor, can you hear me? Gregor?” He stirred only the faintest bit, and gave a soft moan. I reached for the hotel phone on the bedside table and with shaking hands dialed the front desk. “I need an ambulance. Immediately! I have someone here in Room 508 and he’s sick- I mean, he’s really sick- he may be dying.” My voice broke on the last word. “Yes, of course, miss. Room 508, you said?” “Yes, and also, can you see if there is a doctor staying at the hotel? Can you send one here if you find one?” “I will check, miss. I think there may be. I will call the hospital for an ambulance. There is a very good hospital close by.” “He’s in the movie,” I added, hoping that might speed things up. “He is an important movie star. Please make sure the ambulance comes quickly.” I hung up. I didn’t know if I should try and roll Gregor over onto his side, in case he threw up, but then I was worried he might have broken a bone when he fell. So I just left him like he was, on his back. I leaned down again. “Gregor, hang in there, hang in there,” I said urgently. “The doctor’s coming, okay?” I squeezed his hand, trying so hard not to freak out, not to scream and cry. I had to keep calm until someone else came to help. I looked wildly around the room. It appeared that he’d just come in. His cell phone and room key were on the bedside table. There were no signs that he’d been surprised by an attack in his room; everything looked fairly orderly, given the efficiency of his assistant Brian. I didn’t want to leave Gregor’s side, but I figured Brian might be able to help. I got up quickly and pounded on the adjoining door. “Brian! Brian! Are you in there?” I cried. There was a moment, then I heard a muffled voice, half-asleep. “Yes? Who is it?” “Brian, it’s Elise Connelly. Please come out. Something’s happened to Gregor.” I unlocked the communicating door and opened it. Brian, alert at once, came out of his room. He took one look at the figure on the floor and turned very pale. “What happened?” he threw over his shoulder as he ran to kneel by Gregor. “I don’t know. I just came in here and found him like that.” I heard noises out in the hallway, and then a heavily accented voice call out, “Hello? I am a doctor, the front desk called me here?”
110
I ran to the doorway and saw a tall, thickset man flanked by two hotel security guards. “Please,” I said, leading them all in. “He’s in here. I- I found him like this.” Brian quickly moved away so the doctor could kneel beside Gregor. He checked his pulse, listened for breathing, and lifted both of his eyelids. He then looked up sharply at me. “Has the ambulance been called?” “Yes,” I replied. “I have no idea how long it will take though.” “The hospital is close, this is good. You have no idea what happened? Did he have anything to eat or drink?” His eyes scanned the room. “I don’t know. I think he just came in.” The doctor uttered a few words to the guards, who nodded and backed away. “They are going to secure the room,” he told us. “We have to protect all the evidence.” Brian and I both looked at each other. Then I said, “Do you have any idea what’s wrong with him?” The doctor stroked his beard. “Could be heart attack or stroke. But his eyes- the pupils are very small. That could mean a drug overdose of some kind.” I nodded. My mind flew to the painkillers Gregor had been taking for his head. “Will he be all right?” I asked anxiously. “That depends.” The doctor was lifting each of Gregor’s limbs, checking for injury, examining his head and even lifting his sweater to check his torso. “Depends on how much he took, how long ago, and how much he had to drink. I could smell the alcohol on his breath.” “He had three, I think,” I said. “Three whiskey and sodas.” “Ah.” The doctor looked grimmer. “That is not good.” I shook my head dazedly. This could not be happening. Again. I glanced at Brian; the expression on his face told me he was thinking the same thing. The medics arrived, got a cursory report from the doctor, and moved quickly to strap oxygen and a heart monitor onto Gregor before lifting him onto the stretcher. I stood helplessly by, wanting to be able to touch him, to hold his hand and stroke his hair and tell him everything was going to be all right. But I couldn’t. Brian and I followed the doctor and the medics to the elevator. “Can I- can I come in the ambulance?” I asked one of the medics tentatively. He shrugged. “Yes, there is room. But you must not get upset.”
111
There was a commotion down in the lobby; apparently word had spread that someone was hurt and who it might be. There were policemen, but since there were only a few guests and hotel workers gathered, it was easy to keep them back and let the stretcher come through. Brian accompanied us as far as the doors of the ambulance. He pressed Gregor’s phone into my hand. “Call me,” he said, “as soon as you know anything. Is Clara around?” “They came back together. We were all out at a club.” “I’ll go tell her. I’ll probably have to try and keep things calm here,” Brian said. “Call me, though.” Fleetingly, I wondered if he knew about Gregor and me. He seemed to accept my role, whatever it was. I climbed into the ambulance and found a place to sit. It was quite crowded with two medics in the back and two more driving. They spoke little, working together to monitor Gregor’s pulse and oxygen, talking on their radios to what I imagined was the ER at the hospital. Since they were all speaking Russian, I didn’t catch any of what was said. It was probably a good thing; if they were saying he was on his way out, I didn’t want to know about it. Fighting to stay under control, I sat and clung to Gregor’s hand, which was still so cold, and looked at as much of his face as I could see under the mask. It was still so pale and still. I can’t even remember what I was saying, or if I was even talking at all, just speaking in my mind. All I could think was, No, not again. Not in plain sight, in front of everyone, could this happen again. He couldn’t die. He couldn’t die. I couldn’t even cry; I was too numb. Who could hate him so much that they could do this to him? Again? I realized that one of the medics was speaking to me. “I’m sorry, what?” I asked. She smiled. She was young, and seemed sympathetic. “I ask, is he your husband?” I shook my head. “No- no. Just- a friend.” I paused. “We’re here making a movie.” The other medic, adjusting the monitor, said, “You idiot, he’s Gregor McKeon. The Hollywood star.” “Oh.” She shrugged. She either had not heard of him or didn’t care. “Do you know what happened to him?” she asked me, taking a wet cloth and gently dabbing Gregor’s face and neck. I shook my head. “I found him like this.”
112
“Lucky.” The other medic nodded at the monitor. “If you had not found him soon, he may not have survived.” We arrived at the hospital a couple of minutes later. Within moments, the ambulance doors were flung open, more hands were lifting the stretcher out and wheeling it rapidly into the ER. I tagged along, knowing at some point I would be kicked out, but hoping to stay with him as long as possible. Gregor was taken to a small room where, surrounded by doctors and nurses, he was lifted onto a bed and rapidly examined. I hung back, but nobody even seemed to notice me. They were all talking to each other and setting up equipment and looking at monitors and running off to do something else. Soon, he was hooked up to more machines, and an IV bag was in place. A nurse was drawing blood, vials of it. I looked at it and felt more than slightly sick. One of the doctors, who was quite young and handsome, came over to me. “You came with Mr. McKeon, did you not?” he asked in good English. I nodded. “Do you have any idea what happened to him?” “No. I found him lying like that in his room.” “Do you know if he took anything? Any pills, whatever?” I shook my head. “I don’t know. He was hurt last week, he had a concussion. He had been taking pain pills for that but I don’t know if he took them tonight. I don’t know if he was on any other kind of medication, either.” The doctor nodded and stared thoughtfully at the floor while I was speaking. Then he looked back up at me and said, “We don’t know if it was an overdose, but it is possible. We have to do some tests, to know for sure. But I wanted to see what you knew. He had just come into his hotel room, then? He was wearing street clothes.” I looked over at Gregor, who had been stripped and was under a sheet. I thought of his soft black sweater, and fought back tears. “Yes,” I said. “I was with him, out at a bar. A bunch of us were. He’d probably only just come back.” The doctor smiled. “You care for him, yes?” he asked unexpectedly. I nodded. “We will do our best,” the doctor said, heading back over to the bed. “He is a strong one, this one.”
113
I took in a deep, shuddery breath and closed my eyes a minute. I wanted to wish it all away, replace it with Gregor and me, alone in my hotel room, lying in bed, his arms around me, his teasing voice in my ear. But wishing wasn’t getting me anywhere. I had to find out who was doing this to him. I looked down at Gregor’s cell phone in my hand and scrolled through the numbers until I found Teo’s cell. He answered on the first ring. “Elise? I just heard from Brian. Are you with Mac?” I sat down in a cracked plastic chair and covered my eyes with my hand. “Yes. I’m here, at the hospital. Where are you?” “We’ve all just gotten back to the hotel.” Teo was frantic. “We walked in the lobby, and there’s a crowd here, and Brian, and Clara babbling like a madwoman, and…what the hell happened, Elise?” “I don’t know, Teo. I got to his hotel room- I was supposed to meet him there.” My composure was crumbling; I was about to start sobbing. “When I got there, he was- on the floor. Unconscious. Well, almost. He- he moaned once. That was it. I- I called the front desk for an ambulance. A doctor came right away. They think- they think it might have been a drug overdose, or a bad combination of drugs with the alcohol he drank. Teo, he wouldn’t have taken any medication if he was drinking. I’m sure of that. And I thought he stopped taking those pain pills two days ago.” Teo’s voice was grim. “Did you see any pill bottles in his room? A glass, anything?” “No, nothing.” “Then clearly, he was poisoned, Elise. Under my very nose. At the table tonight.” Teo spoke somberly. “And I have failed. Do they think he’ll make it?” I couldn’t respond. A nurse was tapping my arm. “You may want to leave for a few minutes,” she said. “We have to perform a lavage.” I nodded and scurried out of the room. In the hallway, I pressed my hot forehead against the cool cinderblock wall and tried to gather my thoughts. “I don’t know,” I told Teo. “They’re pumping his stomach now.” “Then they must have found drugs in his system,” Teo replied. “That’s good, though. That means there is hope. Listen, you sit tight, little one. I have Clara under control here. You call me as soon as you know anything, yes? I am trying to keep this all under the wraps.”
114
I hung up with Teo and waited. Nurses and doctors went in and out of the room. Someone brought me coffee, but my insides were churning and I couldn’t drink it. After a few more minutes, the same doctor came out and spoke to me. “Miss, you may come back in.” I followed him. Gregor was stirring slightly in the bed. His eyelids fluttered. “He may pull through this,” the doctor said, watching him. “We were able to clean out his stomach and the IV is working well to circulate clean blood and fluids in his system. It seems he had some kind of drug in his system. We are not sure which one; they are working on more specific tests. Some drugs have antidotes, and we may be able to use one.” I nodded dumbly. The doctor’s blue eyes were kind. “You can stay with him now,” he said simply. “His pulse and breathing are improving, and we’re hoping he starts to wake up soon.” So once again, here I was, in a hospital room in a strange country, sitting by Gregor’s bedside, holding his hand, hoping for the best. In a million years I could not have pictured myself like this, by the side of a famous movie star, playing the lead in my own drama. But it was real. Gregor was real, and he was very sick. I had no idea if this was going to have a happy ending or not. I sat for what seemed like hours. My eyes were dry and burning, and my mouth felt like cotton, but I didn’t want to leave his side. Finally someone brought me some water, and I sipped gratefully. I was beyond tired, numb really. Gregor’s phone vibrated incessantly and I ignored it. The machines beeped and the fluids dripped, nurses bustled in and out, and the twilight outside turned to light grey and then blue. And finally, as the first rays of sunlight peered through the blinds and I was blinking and feeling like I might have to get up and stretch, finally, Gregor opened his eyes. He opened them, looked around a moment, then closed them. “You there?” he mumbled, so quiet I had to lean in to hear him. “It’s me, Gregor. I’m here,” I breathed. He opened them again, tried to focus, gave up. Closed them again. “How come this keeps happening to me?” he muttered. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. “I don’t know, Gregor, I don’t know,” I said, touching his cheek lightly. “But you’re going to be okay. I’m here, and the doctors are taking really good care of you.”
115
He opened his eyes again, and with an effort, looked at me. “Don’t leave,” he said. He gave my hand the slightest squeeze. Tears sprang to my eyes. “I won’t,” I whispered. “I won’t leave, Gregor.” “Good.” He closed his eyes again, and appeared to be drifting off. A new doctor came in, an older one, gruff. “I am Dr. Vasiliev,” he said to me. “Nurse said he just spoke. He say anything?” “Just a few words,” I answered. “I think he fell back asleep.” The doctor checked the monitors, and then scribbled on a chart. “We think we know what he took,” he told me. “Oxycodone. I think the common name is Percocet. You know what it is, yes?” “It’s a pain reliever,” I said. “Prescription.” “Do you know if Mr. McKeon had been prescribed this drug?” I shook my head. “He was on some pain medication for his head, but he stopped taking it a couple of days ago. I don’t know what the name of it was.” “Well, the good thing is, we have an antidote for it, which we are about to give him.” He nodded at the nurse who had just come in with a small vial and a syringe. “It’s called naloxone hydrochloride. It will help reverse the effects of the drug on Mr. McKeon’s- on his system, you see. He seems to be improving already, but since he was in such serious condition when he arrived, I want to do all we can for him.” I watched as the nurse injected the syringe into Gregor’s arm. Dr. Vasiliev waited to resume speaking until after she had left. “He won’t improve right away,” he told me. “But it will reduce the effects on his respiratory and cardiac systems.” I nodded. The doctor looked at me with the first signs of interest. “You are his girlfriend?” “No, just a friend.” “You should go get some sleep. It is not good to stay up all night worrying.” I shook my head. “He told me…” I swallowed hard. “He told me not to leave him.” Dr. Vasiliev nodded. “Well, there are some people out in the hall who wish to see him. I told them they would have to wait until after we saw what happens with the antidote. In a short while, they can come in, one at a time.”
116
I thanked him as he left. I wondered idly who else was out in the hall. I could only imagine that Clara was probably accosting everyone who came by, demanding to see her fiancé, informing them that I was an imposter who must be turned out of his room this instant so that the rightful Countess could take her place. Teo was the first to come in, about half an hour later, and he hugged me before pausing to stare at Gregor, still motionless in the bed, but looking like a bit of color was coming back into his face. “Not conscious yet?” he said in a low voice, his own face carved with worry. “Not now, but he did open his eyes and speak for a minute before. I think he’s getting a little better.” Teo gestured that I should join him by the window so as not to disturb Gregor. Then he informed me that while he and a few others had indeed been here for quite a while waiting to see Gregor, Clara was not among them. “Really?” I asked. Teo chuckled a little. “Well, you see,” he said, “she’s been invited down to the police station for some questioning.” Teo then relayed the story to me. While I kept vigil at Gregor’s side, the police had been busy doing their job. They had blocked off Gregor’s hotel room and kept everyone who had been out with him at the bar in a conference room, then pulled them out and questioned them separately about if they’d seen anything that night that could, as Teo put it, “shed the light” on the situation. They had also asked if anyone would volunteer to have their persons and possessions searched. Everyone acquiesced. When the police took a peek in Clara’s Chanel bag, lo and behold, what did they find but a half-empty bottle of Percocet with Gregor’s name on the label. They took it without even knowing what drug had been found in his system, but apparently after Dr. Vasiliev informed the chief investigator what the blood tests had turned up, Clara was prevailed upon to accompany the police down to the station for more questioning. “And she went?” I breathed. “She didn’t go in their car, of course. Her driver took her down. She also asked if she could call her attorney so he could be flown in immediately from Mikonos, or wherever he was vacationing. So I don’t think she’ll be saying anything until after he gets here.”
117
“Wow.” I was pacing back and forth in the little alcove by the window. “That’s incredible. But she can’t possibly have been so stupid as to put pills in his glass and then keep the bottle in her purse, Teo. Nobody could.” “Unless she’s just so arrogant that she never thought she’d be searched, or that she could get out of it just by being a countess,” Teo replied, stroking his beard. “I don’t know what goes on in her head, Elise. But everyone else came up clean. Nobody saw anything.” His voice was wondering. “That I do not understand. I mean, your friend Jack, Houston and Sheila, and Vanessa and me, we were all right there at the table, no? When Mac got up to go over to the bar, shortly before he and Clara left, we were there the whole time. When did someone- Clara, or someone else- have the chance to slip in the pills without at least one of us seeing?” “It didn’t have to be then,” I said, stopping to consider. “I don’t know how long it takes for the drug to have an effect, but maybe it takes an hour or more. The pills could have been put in his glass earlier, when he was still at the table. Did anyone besides the waitress bring you drinks?” Teo considered. “The waitress brought the first round. I think Jack bought the second from the bar, and I ordered the third, which the waitress also brought. Mac only had three total, as far as I can remember. I wasn’t paying so much attention, with the singing and all. I suppose while we were all watching the stage, someone could have leaned over and dropped some pills in his glass. Each of us got up from the table at some point and would have passed by his chair, and could have easily done it then as well. I know Jack got up to get the drinks, and Vanessa to buy more cigarettes at the bar, and Clara and Sheila went separately to the ladies’ room, and Houston went outside for a moment to make a phone call. Yes, it could have been any of them,” he reflected morosely. I sensed Teo was disappointed in himself for not being more vigilant. “I think he’s going to be okay, Teo,” I said gently. “But this just shows that whoever’s doing this is getting bolder. I mean, to poison someone in front of a hundred people- it takes guts, or just insanity, maybe.” “Yes, I know, little one.” He glanced over at Gregor. I thought for a minute. “Teo, how well do you know Vanessa?” I asked. He tilted his head to the side. “I’ve worked with her on two other projects. This is the first movie I’ve used her as first AD. She’s very capable. She has been in the business almost as long as I have.”
118
I chewed my lower lip and tried to decide whether or not to even put voice to my somewhat lame idea. “Any chance that she and Gregor knew each other a long time ago? Both of them spent time in the West End back in the early nineties.” “It’s like the theatre scene in Manhattan,” Teo pointed out. “There can be dozens of plays going on at once, from big musical productions down to tiny bare-bones dramas. I know she did spend several years there. It’s a possibility, no? Neither of them has ever mentioned it to me, but then, I’ve never asked either.” “I’m reaching, I know,” I admitted. “But if Clara’s too obvious to be it, then someone else did it and tried to frame her by dumping the pills in her purse. Was her purse on the table the whole time? I noticed it there when she and Gregor were leaving.” “I don’t know,” Teo said, screwing up his eyes so he could think for a minute. “I don’t believe so. I think she had it hanging on the back of her chair until she returned from the restroom. She was only back for about fifteen minutes before Mac told her it was time to go.” I spread my hands out. “This is getting stranger and stranger. I don’t know about you, Teo, but I think we’d better call Brian to get one of those bodyguards in here. Maybe two. I don’t feel like- like Gregor is safe anywhere.” “Stop talking about me like I’m not even in the bloody room,” a voice mumbled from the bed. Teo and I both whirled around and hurried over to Gregor. His eyes were open, and he looked more alert than he had before. He even gave us a half-smile. Teo clapped his shoulder. “Good Lord, man, you scared the hell out of us, again,” he said, his voice full of emotion. “How do you feel?” I asked breathlessly. Gregor turned his head slightly from one side to the other, then looked down at his fingers and wiggled them a little. “Like I’ve been slipped a Mickey,” he said. “Ha. Which I guess I have been.” His voice was thick, as though he were talking in his sleep. “When did you start to feel bad?” Teo asked him. A nurse bustled in, and smiled widely at Gregor when she saw that he was awake. “This is very good,” she said. “I call doctor.” Gregor made an effort to reach out and grasp my hand. “I started to feel strange when we were riding back to the hotel,” he said slowly. “After I dropped off Clara and was walking back
119
to my room, I thought I must be really drunk. But then I remembered I’d only had three drinks. Then my mind just got so mixed-up, and I started to feel like I was having trouble breathing…” His voice trailed off, and he blinked and stared down at the bed. “I tried to grab my phone and call someone, anyone, but then I guess I passed out.” He looked up at me. “You found me?” he asked. “Yes,” I said simply. Dr. Vasiliev came in, his hardened face cracked into a smile. “You are feeling better, yes?” he said, whipping out his little pen-light and shining it in Gregor’s eyes, feeling his pulse, checking his IV sites. “That antidote is some great stuff.” “Antidote?” Gregor asked weakly. The doctor bustled around, looking at monitors. “The drug we found in your system, oxycodone, has an antidote, which we gave you a short while ago,” he said. “It helps reverse the effects. We hope there will be no permanent damage to your heart or lungs. Of course, we will have to do some tests to see.” “I’m just glad to be alive,” Gregor said. “Two escapes in one week, it’s getting to be a bit much. My life insurance must be skyrocketing even as we speak.” I couldn’t believe he could even joke about this. I wanted to lay my head on his chest and weep. “Yes, I am sure,” the doctor agreed. “Well, I am so glad you are feeling better. Later on, maybe you can eat something?” His voice dropped a little. “And the police, they wish to interview you, but I have said, not until tomorrow. You must rest quietly today and not be disturbed.” Gregor nodded. “Thank you,” he said, closing his eyes. “I am still pretty woozy.” Teo and the doctor both left then, and I resumed my seat. I knew that pretty soon Gregor was going to ask why Clara wasn’t there, and I was going to have to tell him. I didn’t relish the thought of this as much as one would have supposed. No one wanted to be told his fiancée was being questioned on suspicion of attempted murder. A nurse brought in some food for me, and I actually was able to eat a little. I really could have used a hot shower and a nap, but I wanted to be there when Gregor woke up again. After a while, he stirred again, and his blue eyes fixed on me. “You’re still here,” he said. “God, what time is it?”
120
“Around ten, I think.” “Have you slept at all? You don’t look like it.” I shook my head. “Lie down for a little while,” he said, gesturing to the bed. “There’s too many wires,” I replied. “I can sleep on the couch,” I added. It was a tiny, hard-looking loveseat, but I was tired enough not to care. “Go back to the hotel,” he said softly. I shook my head. “Not unless Teo comes back. I- I won’t leave you alone, Gregor.” He pressed his lips together for a minute. “Why isn’t Clara here?” he asked finally, seemingly reluctant to bring up her name. I took his cold hand and put it against my face. “She is being questioned by the police,” I answered. “I don’t really know any more than that.” He closed his eyes again. “Oh.” “Rest,” I said. “Just rest. Don’t worry about anything else.” 12. A few minutes later, I was standing by the window when a nurse came back in. “Miss Connelly,” she said politely, “there are two policemen outside who wish to speak with you. Don’t worry about Mr. McKeon, I will be here with him. He is not to be left alone.” I thanked her and, after a quick glance at Gregor, sleeping peacefully, I went out into the hallway. Two policemen indeed were standing there. Both of them looked older, and neither of them smiled at me. “Miss,” said one in passable English, “we need to have the word with you. In here, if you would.” He gestured to a small alcove with a couple of chairs. I took one; they both remained standing. The one who had not spoken had a small writing pad. The first one, who introduced himself as Nomaroff but whom I privately labeled as Rudolph due to his enlarged, reddened nose, began, “We are investigating the- incident- of Mr. McKeon. We have been talking to everyone who was with him at the bar last night. You were present, yes?” I nodded. “Yes.”
121
“You see anything or anyone out of ordinary? Someone touching his drink, or anyone with pills?” I shook my head. “No, nothing.” “You are a good friend of Mr. McKeon?” Slight emphasis on the friend. “Yes, you could say that.” I was too tired to be very nervous, although I was choosing my words with some care. “You are not his girlfriend, then?” Rudolph was not afraid to press. I watched as the partner stood, pen lifted, ready to write the incriminating truth. “No,” I said coldly. “He is engaged to Clara Lloyton. But I expect you know that already.” Rudolph smiled, not a very nice smile. “Miss Lloyton is at the headquarters right now. She is waiting for her attorney to join her. Her engagement to Mr. McKeon is well known. But there have been many stories on the Internet and on television that he has another girlfriend as well.” He glanced at his partner, then shifted his gaze back to me. “They are saying you and he, that you are more than just friends.” I sighed and assumed the iciest manner I possessed, which was not hard considering sleep deprivation was making me feel extremely cranky right about now. “Officer, did you call me in here to talk about Web gossip, or about Mr. McKeon being poisoned last night?” I asked wearily. He looked taken aback. “I did not mean to offend you,” he said, although both of us knew that was exactly what he had meant to do. “Did you know Mr. McKeon had a prescription for Percocet?” he asked, switching gears. “I knew he had some pain pills from when he was injured last week. I didn’t know what kind they were.” Rudolph nodded. “Did you see him take any at all yesterday?” “No. He told me he was off them and taking only ibuprofen.” I paused. “He knew he wasn’t supposed to have alcohol with the prescription pills, whatever they were.” Rudolph rubbed his nose, which only made it redder. “Miss Connelly,” he said, “if you are a good friend of Mr. McKeon, you may know of someone who has a grudge against him. Do you have any idea who would want to hurt him this way?” I shook my head slowly. It wouldn’t do to tell him I could think of, oh, at least four or five people who might want to hurt him. I had zero evidence. And it wouldn’t be fair to the innocent to voice any suspicions, which were really based only on conjecture on my part.
122
“Until we have a better idea of who did this,” Rudolph was continuing, looking intently at the floor as he spoke, “I am sorry to tell you that nobody except hospital personnel will be allowed in the room with Mr. McKeon. I know you stayed with him all night, but you will not be permitted to go back in. You may stay in the building, of course, but not in his room. He is also being transferred to another floor where we can provide him with more security.” I thought of Gregor’s eyes when he told me not to leave him. I shivered and looked up at the officer. “Okay,” I said. “I understand.” “Please let me know immediately if you think of anything else.” Rudolph spoke almost kindly. He pressed a card into my hand. “This is my cell phone number.” “Thank you,” I said faintly. When they had left, I sat gathering my thoughts for a minute. Then I got up and slowly made my way down the hall to the larger waiting room. Teo was still there, and also Jack and Vanessa. None of them looked as though they’d gotten any sleep, and all of them, like me, were in their same clothes from the night before. Teo shot a look at me. “They give you the boot?” he asked, touching my shoulder. I nodded. “I understand why. I’m just glad he’ll be safe. Last I saw, he was sleeping again anyway.” Teo gestured to the doors. “Why don’t you go back to the hotel for a little while? I will stay to keep an eye on things.” “I’ll go with you,” Jack offered. It struck me as strange that he would be here. What was he doing, hanging around in the hope I’d need a shoulder to cry on? Or like the pyromaniac who stays to watch the fire, he was waiting to see the results of his work. “I think I’d like to be alone for a while,” I said truthfully. I was not in the mood for any more of Jack’s soul-baring. “I’ll come back later,” I told Teo. “Thanks.” I left too quickly to see the look on Jack’s face. Teo’s car was waiting for me, and I sank back into the luxury of it. The phone in my pocket vibrated as I leaned back and watched the bright day hurry by. I forgot I still had Gregor’s phone with me; I’d meant to leave it with him. I glanced at the display. CLARA CELL. Interesting. Apparently she wasn’t under arrest yet if she was allowed to make calls.
123
I was super-tempted to answer, but instead I waited to see if she’d leave a message. She did, and of course I checked it. Her voice was hollow-sounding, like she’d just been crying for a long time. “Gregs, it’s me. I’m at this filthy disgusting police station, as you may already know. Nelson is supposed to get in from Mikonos in an hour, and he’s coming straight here. Gregs, I don’t know why I’m here. The nasty police were asking us all a million questions, and then I stupidly let them paw through my bag, and they found your Percocet in it, and then all of a sudden they dragged me down to the station…” Beep. Her message cut off. Annoyed, I waited to see if she’d call again. She did, and after I got the signal that she’d left another message, I tuned in to hear the rest. “And they dragged me down to the station without explaining anything. And they’re all talking about me and walking around with their chests all puffed out. I had to sneak into the restroom to call you; it’s the only place they won’t follow me. I don’t understand, Gregs, you gave me the Percocet to hold for you when we were on our way to the airport in Pest, remember? Please tell them that…” Her voice was cut off again, but not before I heard a single sob. I hung up and sat for a minute, thinking over her words. So there was a perfectly legitimate explanation for the Percocet in her handbag, one which Gregor could corroborate. Or she was hoping he’d take her word for it that he’d given it to her, even if he didn’t remember doing it. Or she was hoping that he still loved her enough to lie for her. I arrived at the hotel and took a shower. I didn’t think there was any way I could sleep, but I managed to doze off finally. I awoke with a start at three. My phone was ringing. “Teo, I’m sorry,” I said. “I fell asleep. I meant to come back so you could leave.” “No matter, little one,” Teo said. “I can sleep later. They have just taken Mac for some tests. Listen, I need to talk to you about something that you told me earlier. Do you feel awake enough to come back to the hospital?” “Yes, yes, I’ll be right there,” I said. “Do you want some food?” “That would be wonderful. I can’t touch this stuff here.” Back at the hospital, armed with bliny of various sorts, I met Teo and he ushered me to a quiet alcove on the fifth floor, near Gregor’s new room. “I saw them wheeling him down to radiology,” he said as we settled into chairs and unwrapped our pancakes. “The nurse told me
124
he’ll be back in an hour or so. From this seat, we can see anyone who goes into and out of his room.” There were two police officers guarding his door, and Teo explained that they were checking the ID of anyone who came in or out. “It’s the same nurse he’s had since this morning,” he added, “and only two doctors, Dr. Vasiliev and another one, Dr. Marnoff, a woman. They said the night nurse comes on at seven, and they’ll keep only those two nurses rotating as long as he’s here.” “That’s good,” I said. Teo gestured to his iphone. “I have been doing some research,” he said after he’d finished eating. He crumpled up the wrappers and picked up his handheld. “About what you told me before, specifically, Vanessa and her time in the West End. I was able to look through various archives of programs and reviews of plays from years past. And I found this.” He scrolled through until he’d found what he wanted, and then handed it to me. “Can you read that?” I looked at the tiny screen. It appeared to be a newspaper article from a London paper, and the date was October 14, 1991. The headline read: “A STREETCAR NAMED ‘DESIRE,’” AND A MAN WHO STIRS IT. I read the story with interest. It was a review of what may have been one of Gregor’s first plays. He was the man in question, apparently, giving a very sexy take on the role of Stanley in Tennessee Williams’ famous work. I understood the significance of the article by the third paragraph: Under the direction of the very gifted Vanessa Bell, the cast, led by McKeon, breathes new life into this overdone, yet always gripping, tale of Southern angst and despair… “So they did work together,” I said. “On a pretty small production, from the looks of it. And she acted like she didn’t remember ever meeting him back then. She’d certainly have remembered directing him in a lead role.” “I agree,” Teo said. “The only reason she wouldn’t admit to having worked with him is because she didn’t want you, or anyone else, to know about it. I don’t know why she’d lie; it would be easy enough for you to find out the truth from him, would it not? I can only think she might have panicked, because something happened between them that she didn’t want you to find out about.”
125
Jeez, was there a woman around who hadn’t had a fling with Gregor? “Say they did have some kind of relationship,” I wondered out loud. “Did she think I would care, if they were together so long ago? I guess that’s possible. Maybe she didn’t want to be the one to tell me, she thought Gregor should instead.” “Well, no matter what, it’s plain there’s a past connection between the two of them,” Teo concluded. “And that ties another person to the attempts on Mac’s life, yes? She was in the cave setting up for that shoot the whole morning of the accident in Pest.” He frowned and stroked his beard. “Too many cooks,” he said at last. “We have to narrow this down, Elise, do we not? Everyone had motive, everyone had opportunity. Who was desperate enough to do it, right under my nose, and under Gregor’s nose too?” “There’s something else,” I said. Somewhat guiltily, I relayed my pilfered messages from Clara. “So there may be a legitimate reason for her to have the pills. If she poisoned him, she’s assuming he’ll back her up that he gave them to her. If it wasn’t her, then someone else got hold of the pills, or had their own stash and knew Gregor had been on the same ones so it might be seen as a mistake on his part.” Teo shook his head. “Anyone who knew Mac knew he wouldn’t be so dumb as to drink and take those pills at the same time.” “It’s like the rock thing in Pest,” I pointed out. “The police may never be able to determine it was anything deliberate. Just some falling rocks. And now this. Everyone knows Gregor likes to have a few drinks. He’s on pain pills for his concussion, supposedly he makes a mistake and mixes the two. Without any concrete evidence, we may never learn the truth about either, and they both will be chalked up to ‘accidents.’ Though anyone with two eyes could see that it’s way too much of a coincidence.” We both thought this over for a minute. Then Teo shook his head again. “I will not allow that to happen,” he said, standing up. “I will not back down on this, Elise. Mac is in great danger. And you and I are the only ones he will listen to enough to try and keep himself safe.” “At least we know he’ll be okay while he’s here in the hospital,” I pointed out. “And we can tell Brian to go ahead and bring in those bodyguards.” “I’ll talk to him when I get back to the hotel.” Teo stifled a yawn. “I need to rest. My head aches with all this stress.” “What about the movie, Teo?” I hated to even ask.
126
Teo spread his hands out wide. “The show must go on,” he said. “I have no choice but to try and keep filming, no? There are a couple more St. Petersburg scenes that do not require Mac. We will work on those for the next few days. After that, God willing, he will be able to rejoin us. I will not allow this- this evil to stop my movie from being made.” I said goodbye to Teo and watched as he strode to the elevator. He was one determined Spaniard, that was for sure. I wondered- not for the first time- why he felt so personally involved in Gregor’s situation. I knew they were good friends, had worked together in the past. But was it something more than that? Maybe it was because Gregor had no father in his life, and Teo had no son, so each filled that place for the other. I shook my head and got up to take a short walk while Gregor was still out of his room. I made it back before they did, but only barely. Two nurses were wheeling him from the elevator as I came down the hall from the opposite direction. I had been scoping out the floor, getting a general layout. Gregor was half-sitting up and he looked a lot better than he had that morning. “Oh, wait,” I called out, “can I just talk to him for a minute?” The nurses looked at each other, then at Gregor, who gestured to me and said to them, “Please.” They stopped outside his door. I didn’t care if the nurses and the policemen were all standing there watching; I leaned down and, mindful of all the tubes, dropped a quick kiss on his cheek. “How are you feeling?” I asked breathlessly. He smiled. “Better, now.” One of the officers tapped my shoulder. “Miss, I have to ask you to step away,” he said, not unkindly. I took a step back, but my eyes were only for Gregor. “I’ll be right out here,” I said. “Oh, wait- I meant to give you this.” I handed him his phone. I felt a sudden stab of guilt as I remembered listening to Clara’s messages. “Uh, you may want to check your voicemail,” I added. Gregor took the phone. One of the cops eyed it suspiciously, as though it might be a bomb. “Let me just check that, sir,” he said, holding out his hand. Gregor gave it to him with a small sigh. I could tell he was already chafing under the restrictions they were placing on him.
127
“You need your rest now,” the nurse was telling him. They started wheeling him into his room. He looked back at me and winked. “I’ll be up and around in no time,” he promised as they closed the door behind him. I stood there, feeling somewhat foolish. Then I went back and resumed my lonely place in the alcove. At around eight in the evening, as I was mentally preparing myself for another sleepless night at the hospital, albeit this time on a threadbare sofa in the lounge, Brian came off the elevator with a tall, broad-shouldered guy. They walked over to me, and Brian introduced the man as Sam Masterson. I smiled wearily and shook his hand. “Guess I don’t have to ask,” I said. “You’re the new bodyguard?” “One of them,” Brian said. “We’ve hired two. The other one is Hale Goddard. Sam’s going to hang out here tonight, so you can get a break. Either he or Hale will always be here until Mr. McKeon gets released.” I nodded. Sam gazed at me seriously. He had blonde hair and earnest brown eyes. I felt like I could trust him. “Well, I guess I’ll run along then,” I said. I nodded at the bag Brian had brought. “I hope they’ll let you give that to him,” I added. “They’re being pretty strict.” “Mr. McKeon’s car is downstairs to take you back to the hotel,” Brian said. He smiled and patted my arm. He was a nice guy, and I knew he’d been with Gregor for years. “We’ll make sure he stays safe, all right?” I phoned Gregor from his car. “I guess you’re heading back to the hotel?” he asked. “Yes,” I said, sinking back into the luxurious comfort of the leather seat. “I didn’t want to, but Brian said one of your new bodyguards will be there from now on to keep an eye on things.” “That’s good. You need to rest. Although I hate the idea of having to cart around a guard with me from now on. I’ve never felt I needed one before.” “Maybe you won’t always,” I said hopefully. “Hmph.” Gregor lit a cigarette. “So, are you out of the fog?” I continued. “Of the drug, I mean.”
128
“Sort of. It’s like the flu. I get cold and then hot sometimes, or I feel dizzy. But much better than even this morning.” “That’s good.” I paused. “Have you spoken to Clara?” “I wasn’t able to reach her. She left me a voicemail earlier,” he added, tactfully omitting that it had been a saved message. “She was waiting for her attorney to come.” “That makes sense.” “I don’t imagine she’ll be particularly helpful to the police. I’m sure Nelson will get her released. She pays him too well,” Gregor continued dryly. “You know why they brought her down there, right?” “Teo told me,” I said. “She had my pain pills, but I had given them to her, when we were on the way to the airport in Pest.” I heard Gregor take a drag, then exhale slowly. “I didn’t think I’d need them anymore, and I didn’t have any carry-on luggage, so I told her to put them in her purse just in case I needed them on the flight.” I wondered mightily if this was his own memory, or one introduced to him by Clara. I doubted I would ever know for sure. “Anyway,” Gregor continued, “whoever did this to me obviously knew I was on Percocet and probably assumed my taking them with a few drinks would be thought of as an accident.” “You stopped taking them though,” I reminded him. “You haven’t had one since you’ve been here in St. Petersburg.” “I know that and you know that, but people believe what they want to, don’t they?” Gregor said. He coughed. “It’s a common enough mistake to mix pills and alcohol. They won’t know how much was in my system for a few more weeks, but from what the doctors have told me, it could have only been three or four, and it was the combination with the alcohol that did me in. It’s lucky you found me when you did,” he added. “You probably saved my life, Elise.” “So now you owe me,” I said. “Lucky that you invited me up.” “Lucky that we can’t keep our hands off each other.” I smiled, in spite of my exhaustion and worry. “Seriously, though,” Gregor continued, “I’m starting to get a bit nervous. Between you and Teo, I suppose you’ve come up with a hundred theories of the crime.”
129
“Not really,” I said, tucking my legs under me. “But Gregor, I do want to ask you about Vanessa. You never told me you worked with her back in London.” Gregor sounded thoughtful. “You never asked. But yes, she directed me in a play. Let’s see, back in ’91 or ’92, I believe it was. I was the lead in Streetcar.” He paused. “How did you know?” “She mentioned that she worked in the West End, and I asked if you two had run across each other since it was at about the same time. She said she didn’t think so, but Teo was able to look up an old review that showed you worked together in that play. The fact that she denied working with you then made both Teo and me curious, I guess.” “Well, surprise,” Gregor said, somewhat sheepishly. “I suppose you’ve already figured out that she and I had a relationship together.” “Knowing you,” I answered lightly, “it’s not such a surprise.” “I’ll take that as a compliment. She was older, and I suppose being new in the business, I looked up to her, and naturally we became close.” Gregor coughed again and I could hear him taking a sip of water. “We were lovers, but only for a brief time, as well as I can remember. A few weeks at most. She was ready to move back to the States; she was tired of London. We parted amicably, and later I heard that she’d gotten married and started a family.” “But you never saw her after that, or spoke to her?” “Never. Not until the day I met up with her on the L.A. set for this movie.” “So we have to consider her a suspect along with everyone else,” I said. “Why didn’t you mention her the other night when you and Teo and I were all talking at the hotel bar?” Gregor sighed. “I guess I didn’t want you to think that I was a- a what do you call it, a gigolo. I didn’t want every conversation to be like, ‘Well, and I slept with that person and that person and…’” “Good grief, everyone’s allowed a past,” I replied. “And this is important, because of what’s been happening to you.” I thought for a minute. “Still, it sounds like a pretty harmless relationship- doubtful she’d be holding onto a grudge from that long ago, when you were together such a short time.” “I wouldn’t think so,” Gregor said. “It would be a long shot, anyway.” He sounded suddenly tired. “Don’t worry about it anymore,” I told him gently. “You need to get some rest, okay?”
130
“All right. Goodnight, lovely Elise.” “I’ll be back first thing tomorrow,” I promised. Back at the hotel, I was unprepared for the gaggle of reporters that jumped out at me as I descended from Teo’s car. I had been undisturbed when I returned earlier that day; apparently word had since gotten around about both my whereabouts and my method of transportation. Several reporters called out, “Elise, have you been with Gregor at the hospital? How is he doing?” while others chose, “Where is Gregor’s fiancée? Is it true she’s at the police station while you’ve been cozy with Gregor at the hospital?” as their opening line. I ignored all of them, but I was a little shaken; I hadn’t been paying any attention to the media buzz about the case. While there had been lots in the press about my relationship with Gregor, there was hardly anything about me in it. I was simply “an attractive American screenwriter” who was the other woman to the rich and far more interesting Countess. Apparently, the lions were now eager to devour more Christians. I hurried inside the hotel, where the concierge, Alexei, was waiting apologetically. “I am so sorry about that, miss,” he said, his white-gloved hands fluttering. “I told the police several times to clear out that sidewalk, but it’s public property and apparently…” “It’s okay,” I told him. I had noticed the police outside, and there were more stationed inside, apparently keeping the press and other curious onlookers at bay. “I’m sorry for this inconvenience,” I added. When they agreed to book the movie cast and crew for our stay, I’m sure the hotel didn’t count on becoming a crime scene as well. Teo came out to meet me from the lounge, where he and a few others, Vanessa included, had been conferring, probably trying to figure out the logistics of tomorrow’s shoot schedule minus its leading man. “Good, you need to rest,” he said. “Were you able to see Mac at all?” “Just for a minute, earlier today,” I said. “And I just got off the phone with him. I was able to confirm what you and I were talking about before.” I glanced meaningfully in Vanessa’s direction. “I see. Well, they’ve released Clara,” Teo said, stroking his beard. He sounded somewhat disappointed. “She’s back here with her lawyer, and she tried to change hotels, but the police won’t let her leave. They’re keeping an eye on all of us, I suppose. She told me she wanted to go see Gregor tonight, but I soothed her and said he wasn’t allowed to see anyone
131
except hospital staff. She asked where you were and I said you were in your room. I suppose that will be out of the bag now, no?” he added, nodding in the direction of the front doors. “Stupid me, I should have told Alexei to bring you in a side entrance.” I shrugged, too worn out at this point to care. “Well, I’ll stay away if she’s going in the morning,” I said. “The last thing I need is another confrontation with her at the hospital.” The gods must have laughed when I said this, because just as I was unlocking my room door after saying goodnight to Teo, Clara herself appeared around the corner. She was dressed in another ridiculous-looking lounging outfit, but I saw that her face was drawn and pinched, and her eyes were red from crying. I opened my mouth, but my throat went suddenly dry. She stopped a few feet away from me. “Elise,” she said. Her voice was quiet, sad. I wondered how much of her emotion was put on and how much was genuine. “I hear you were the one to find Gregor last night.” I trembled a little, then got annoyed with myself for it, and turned so my back was to the door. I leaned against it for strength. “Yes,” I replied steadily. “He was unconscious.” She nodded, pressing her thin lips together. “Well,” she said finally, tossing her head and looking away, “I guess I should thank you. I suppose you were at the hospital with him all night? And all day today?” I didn’t have the guile to lie. “Not all day. I came back for a while this afternoon.” She seemed to expect this. She nodded again. I couldn’t read her at all; couldn’t tell if she was angry, or sad, or just sizing up the situation. I recalled Gregor saying about her, She rarely tells me what she really thinks. I was beginning to see what he meant about that. And how dangerous a person like that could be. “So I suppose it’s all true then,” she said at last. Her voice was slightly wistful, but again, I felt the theatricality of her tone. “What everyone’s saying about you. That you’re Gregor’s mistress.” I was taken aback by the use of the word “mistress.” I had only heard that in conjunction with married people. “I’m sorry?” I couldn’t help asking. “Oh, my dear.” Her voice became pitying; suddenly she sounded twenty years older than me. “You didn’t actually think- that he was falling in love with you? Why, I’ve been with Gregor for three years now. And he’s taken one lover for each year of that, sometimes two.”
132
She smiled; it was a distinctly unpleasant smile. “As you can see, they’re all gone, but I’m still here.” I felt as though the breath had been knocked out of me. She was right, of course. I mean, I assumed she was right about the lovers, and she was certainly right about still being there. And the thing she was most right about, was that Gregor had never told me he loved me. He had never promised he was going to leave Clara; he had never told me we were going to be together. He had only said he would try. And so I just stood there and stared at her. Clara came a little closer, and leaned in as if confiding in me. “It’s been so upsetting,” she said quietly. “Those rocks falling at the cave, and then the pills. I’m just so glad Gregor has managed to escape unharmed.” Her grey eyes fixed on mine. They were suddenly full of malice. I shrank back, alarmed. “It would be terrible, wouldn’t it, if there were anotheraccident?” I managed to find my voice. “Yes,” I said. I was hoping she was going to give it up right there and admit to everything. I cursed myself for not having a tape recorder. “But do you really think that’s what they were- accidents?” I asked encouragingly. She waved her hand. “Who’s to say? All I know is, I’m so relieved he’s back, safe. With me.” Heavy emphasis on the last word. It was a thinly veiled threat. But was it a threat, or was she just cheerfully capitalizing on someone else’s deeds to keep Gregor to herself? How could I know? How could I take the chance that she was innocent? She certainly was capable of both attempts on Gregor’s life. I could even see her enjoying it. Bring him just to the brink of death, then nurse him back to health. Textbook Munchausen syndrome. Clara sighed, as if she were sorry she was the one who had to break all this to me. “So, you see,” she continued, examining her red nails as though they were the most interesting thing in the world, “if I were you, I’d stop wasting my time with him. Why don’t you go back to that nice young man of yours- Jack, I believe? Let Gregor go back to his world and you go back to yours.” She smiled as though it were all settled. I honestly don’t know what I mumbled back to her, but she had won, and she knew it. She turned away and went back down the hall. I opened my door, staggered in, fell face-down on the bed, and cried for a long time. I wanted nothing more than to go home, back to New York, to start over and forget what had happened here. To leave before I could be left. To leave
133
before she killed him for real. Or- almost worse- to leave before I could become the next abandoned mistress for Clara to gloat over before she sailed down the aisle to become Gregor’s wife. Because I knew now that would never, ever be me. 13. I must have fallen asleep, because when I awoke, it was broad daylight, streaming in the curtains that I had neglected to draw the night before. I looked around, briefly forgetting where I was. But when I staggered over to the sink and saw my puffy eyes in the mirror, everything came rushing back to me. I was determined to get back to work, to focus only on the movie and not think about anything else today. I showered, dressed, and had coffee in my room. Then I grabbed my bag and my cell phone. There were three missed calls on it. One was from Molly, leaving a message to check on how I was doing and to tell me where today’s shooting would be taking place. The other two were from Gregor, from last night and this morning. I did not listen to his messages. I called the desk downstairs and asked them to get me a cab. Then I knocked on Molly’s door. “Hey,” she said, answering it. Her eyes were wide. “I didn’t hear from you. Did you come in last night?” I nodded. “I’m heading out for the shoot,” I told her. “Can you take care of my laundry?” She looked a little puzzled at my brusqueness. “Sure, of course. Is everything okay? Did you get to see Gregor?” I was not going to be able to get through this day if everyone kept asking me about him. “Not really,” I said. “Look, I have to go. I’ll catch you later, okay?” I hurried downstairs and thanked Alexei as I got in the cab. The morning was crisp and clear. I instructed the driver to take me to the Peter and Paul Fortress, which was where today’s shooting was taking place. The scenes with Max were to take place inside the cathedral, but there were a couple of other scenes involving Scott Trenton and the Kazakhs which would take place atop the fortress
134
itself, and in the prison inside. I met Teo and the others outside the Peter Gate, where the cameras were being set up. There would be a footrace atop the ramparts followed by a meeting inside the Trubetskoy Bastion, the infamous prison. Teo was calling instructions through his microphone headset (a must for such wide open spaces). He paused to mop his brow; the day was already turning into a warm one. He saw me and told Vanessa to take over for a minute before he hurried over to my side. “You slept well?” he asked me. “Like a log,” I said truthfully. “Did you speak to Mac this morning? He called me. He sounded good, but he said he’d been trying to reach you.” I was glad my sunglasses hid my eyes. “No, I didn’t talk to him,” I replied carelessly. I reached into my bag for my script, hoping to change the subject. “Which scene are we starting with?” I asked, flipping through it. Teo ran his hand through his thick hair, making it stick out even more than it already did. “You don’t have to be here, you know,” he said, clearly not getting the hint. “You can go over to the hospital and meet up with us later.” “I don’t want to miss any of the shoot,” I replied. “I’m sure Clara’s over there anyway, isn’t she?” Teo looked at me with some confusion. “I don’t know, Mac did not tell me,” he answered slowly. Vanessa signaled to him, and he went to join her. I was relieved; Teo was going to be hard to handle. He knew too much about my feelings for Gregor to let me off easy. At this point, I had no idea what my plan was or what I was going to do. I just knew I had to try and distance myself from Gregor. It was the only way I would be able to keep my sanity, and perhaps keep Clara from doing away with him for good. Jack caught up with me halfway through the morning, as I was getting a snack from the table laid out with pastries and coffee. “Hey,” he said. “How’s it going?” “Just fine,” I replied. “I didn’t see much of you yesterday. Must have been a drag, hanging around the hospital. I heard they won’t even let anyone in Gregor’s room except the doctors.”
135
I nodded. I concentrated on stirring cream and sweetener into my coffee and buttering a roll. “You were plastered all over the Internet this morning,” he added. “They got pictures of you coming into the hotel last night.” Is that really all he could think of to say to me? I glared at him and started to eat. “So, you heading over to the hospital today?” he continued, apparently oblivious to my mood. “No. I don’t want to miss the shoot.” Jack seemed undecided whether or not to believe me, or if he should be glad about this turn of events. “Okay,” he said, backing away. “Well, see ya.” I succeeded in isolating myself for the rest of the morning, but it was much harder to ignore the two new voicemails and one text from Gregor. Finally, at lunchtime, I gave in and called him. “Oh, it’s you!” he said in mock annoyance. “I thought you’d vanished into a KGB prison. Did you get my messages?” Just hearing his voice made me realize this was going to be a lot harder than I’d thought. I hid in the cool shade of the fortress and pressed the phone to my ear. “I’ve been busy,” I answered lamely. “We started shooting early this morning.” “I was hoping to catch you on my morning stroll through the hallways,” Gregor continued. “But the only person waiting for me was Clara. She’s been here since eight, and hasn’t budged. Can you get away and come this afternoon?” I forced myself to sound as neutral as possible. “Uh, I don’t think so. We’re supposed to be here until late tonight. Maybe tomorrow.” “Teo will understand,” Gregor persisted. “You don’t want to miss the chance to see my bum hanging out of my gown, do you? For some reason, whenever I go for a walk, all the nurses magically appear in the halls, even ones who don’t work on this floor.” I sighed. “Gregor, I…I’m not sure it’s a good idea,” I finally said. “I can get rid of Clara. I’ll send her on an errand or something.” “I still…I don’t think so.” I had to get off the phone, and fast. Even beamed to me via satellite, he was fucking irresistible. “Look, I’ll call you later, okay?” He sounded puzzled, and a little hurt. “Uh, sure. All right then.”
136
I hung up quickly and stood for a few minutes, blinking away tears, angry at myself, angry at everyone, at Clara, at Jack, at Gregor himself even. What kind of nerve did he have, toying with me when he had no intention of leaving Clara? I had half a mind to tell him off, but I knew the other half of my mind (as well as my entire body) would be only too ready to jump back into bed with him. I cursed myself for being so weak. I managed to avoid Gregor’s calls for the rest of the day, and by the next morning, he’d apparently given up, because he did not try me again. I heard from Teo that Clara had camped out in the hospital hallway all day, and Teo himself was only able to have a couple of words with Gregor without her being there. “He asked about you,” Teo said to me as we sipped our coffee the next morning, waiting for the cameras to set up again at the Fortress. “He said you’re avoiding him.” What was this, seventh grade all over again? “I’m not about to run over to the hospital if Clara’s hanging around,” I pointed out. “He said you wouldn’t even talk to him on the phone.” “We were filming until ten o’clock last night,” I replied. “You are avoiding him, then. Why, little one? Has he made you angry?” Teo seemed genuinely upset. I looked up at him, at his kindly face, his merry brown eyes which were now filled with concern. “No,” I said quietly. “I think I’m just starting to face reality, Teo.” He was puzzled. “How so?” “You can’t tell him anything,” I warned. “No, of course not. You are my friend, Elise. I can keep your secrets.” “Teo, how long have you known Gregor?” A strange expression flashed across his face, then cleared. “About four years. I met him when he read for Grecian Urn. Why?” I crossed my arms in front of my chest. “And he’s been with Clara all that time, right?” “Much of it, I suppose. I don’t know for sure. Why?” “And how many women has he cheated on her with?” He stared at me in surprise. “I really have no idea. We- he doesn’t usually speak to me about those matters.”
137
“Okay, but you hear stuff. You hear rumors, you might know some gossip or see something on the Internet. Humor me.” Teo clearly did not want to be having this conversation. “Little one, I don’t know. I don’t pay attention to gossip. I imagine he may have strayed here or there. He’s handsome, and a big star.” “According to her,” I said, “Clara, she told me he’s cheated on her several times. I mean, with several different women. Not sure if that count includes me or not. But who’s still with him? Clara. All those other women, all of them probably a lot prettier and more exciting than me. And he didn’t leave her for any of them.” Hot tears had come to my eyes, but I brushed them away impatiently. Teo waited a minute. Then he said, “She told you this? When? The other night, I suppose.” “Does it matter? She’s right, you know. I’m wasting my time, chasing after him. Waiting around for something that will never happen.” Teo didn’t look at me. He looked up at the sky, waiting for some divine intervention to get him out of this conversation, no doubt. I tossed my cup into the trash can and pulled my script out of my bag with trembling hands. “It’s over for us, Teo. And as soon as he gets out of the hospital, I’m going to tell him myself. For now I just want to get this movie done and get on with my life.” I walked away, quickly, without looking back. It was late that night, close to eleven, when I finally got back to my hotel room. We’d wrapped up shooting at eight, and then Molly and Arne had persuaded me to come out to dinner with them and some other crew members. It was a boisterous group, and I was glad I had gone, if only because it helped keep my mind off Gregor. Now, for the first time all day, I was alone with myself and my thoughts. I took a quick shower and got into bed, ready to indulge in a movie and some dark chocolate M&Ms, which I had sent Molly on a quest to retrieve for me today. She’d had to go to three different shops until she found them. I pulled the covers over me and tried to decide what movie to order. I wanted something comforting that would lull me to sleep. Pretty Woman, an
138
old favorite, seemed to fit the bill. I was only a few minutes into it when there was a knock at my hotel room door. I assumed it was Molly, and called, “Just a minute.” The handle turned, and Gregor came in. I sat up so fast that my M&Ms spilled all over the place. Gregor stood in the doorway, smiling wryly and holding up a key. “Sorry, but the front desk was very obliging when I told them you’d lost yours.” He closed the door behind him and stood there for a minute, surveying the scene. “Looks like you’ve got a nice night in planned,” he said, nodding at the candy and my pajamas, which were an old t-shirt and shorts. “When- when did you get out of the hospital?” I asked, unable to contain my surprise. Gregor went over to the dresser and put the key on it, then stood with his hands in his pockets. “About an hour ago. All my tests came out fine, they gave me a clean bill of health, told me to quit smoking, and sent me on my way.” He gestured to my cell phone sitting on the dresser. “I would have called, but it hardly seemed worth it, as my last five calls to you went unreturned.” I took a deep breath. Gregor didn’t seem angry, only puzzled. I tried to concentrate on scooping up M&Ms and putting them in the trash can beside the bed. I didn’t want to look at him. Just being in the room with him after two days of not seeing him was like sending a recovering alcoholic to their favorite watering hole. “I’m glad,” I said finally, lifting my eyes to look steadily at a point above his left ear. “That’s great news.” Gregor pressed his lips together. I had never seen him angry, but this was getting close, I could tell. “Elise,” he said finally. “Tell me what I’ve done wrong. Two days ago, you were at my side, begging me to get better, and now all of a sudden, you’re treating me like- like a leper.” He ran both hands through his hair, tugging at it. I pulled my knees up to my chest and stared at the TV, then with a sigh, I switched it off. “I can’t see you anymore, Gregor,” I finally said. My voice was dull; I wanted to say as little as possible, get it over with fast. His face registered astonishment. He stepped back, gripping the dresser with one hand. Then he seemed to gather himself. He went over to the armchair near my bed, took out his
139
cigarettes, lit one, took a drag, and then said, smoke curling from his mouth like a dragon, “Perhaps you’d better explain yourself, my dear.” I moved farther away from him onto the bed, pressing my back to the headboard. “Nothing to explain,” I said. “We’re just- different. Our lives are very different. I don’t see this going anywhere.” I fought to keep my voice from trembling. I took a deep breath. “The sooner we do this, the better for both of us. For everyone involved.” “I knew it!” His words, and the anger in them, shocked me. His face was red. “Clara got to you, didn’t she?” His fists clenched. He took another puff, then ground out his cigarette in one quick motion. “I should have guessed when she showed up at the hospital yesterday morning looking like the cat that swallowed the canary. Damn it, Elise, what did she say to you?” I twisted the edge of the bed sheet in my fingers so he would not see my hands shaking. “What does it matter, Gregor? This is my decision, not hers.” He put his hand over his eyes for a moment. Finally, in a quieter voice, he said, “I don’t believe you.” I hiccupped, trying not to cry. “You don’t have a choice.” He got up and came over to the bed. I tried to move away, but he grasped both my trembling hands in his strong warm ones. “Tell me now,” he said. His eyes were moist. “Tell me again that you can’t see me anymore.” I stared at him, then dropped my eyes. “Elise.” His voice was soft. “Tell me that you can’t see me anymore.” I lifted my eyes. “I can’t see you anymore,” I said. My voice was barely a whisper. He winced as though I’d slapped him. Then he got up from the bed, walked to the door, and left, without a backward glance. 14. The next day was perhaps the hardest of my life. We were both at the shoot, which was taking place inside the cathedral of St. Peter and St. Paul. It was one of my favorite scenes, a chase sequence, where Max and Lenore had to creep around statues and hide behind pillars while
140
evading the mobsters closing in on them. The church would only allow us two days to film inside, and so we started early. The gilded splendor of the interior was overwhelming; the intricate green and yellow painted woodwork almost made me feel sick. It was quite gaudy compared to other, more soberly adorned cathedrals in Europe. Massive pillars of grey and pink marble were crowned with gold embellishments, and huge glittering crystal chandeliers hung so low you could almost touch them. It was not a church in the sense that services were ever held there; no pews graced the stone floor. It was, rather, a massive crypt holding the remains of much of Russia’s royalty from the past three hundred and fifty years. The tombs themselves were of all different colors of marble, and they were surrounded by low iron fencing. I wandered for a few minutes, reading the inscriptions. I had been here before but it still gave me pause, reading the names like Peter and Catherine and Nicholas, feeling the awe of the centuries weighing upon me. The camera crews had been there since five o’clock that morning, setting up. I knew Gregor had to be in costume and make-up by seven, and I wondered if he had slept as little as I had. When he came into the church, our eyes met for a second, and then he turned away. The pain that crossed his face was so real that I almost gasped. I crouched in a chair, swiping furiously at the tears which had fallen so freely for me lately. The sick feeling in the pit of my stomach grew. I was kidding myself to think I could get through the rest of this movie having to see him all the time. Gregor seemed distracted, which aggravated Sheila, and Teo seemed on the verge of losing his temper at both of them when they flubbed easy lines or forgot where to crouch and where to run. Finally, Teo called for an early lunch break and shooed us all out of the church. I saw him put his hand on Gregor’s shoulder and take him aside as the rest of us walked out. I could only imagine that he was back to being Dr. Carreras, and I wondered what horrible things Gregor was going to tell him about me to excuse his poor performance this morning. The afternoon wasn’t much better, and Teo determined he was going to have to get permission to shoot an extra day. He wrapped at around seven, told us to get a good night’s sleep, and as the crew started taking down and packing some of the equipment that couldn’t be left overnight, he said to me, “Little one, a word.”
141
I went over to him with a feeling of dread akin to discussing a bad report card. “Yes?” I asked politely. Teo motioned to me to sit beside him. “Elise,” he said, getting right to the point, “today’s shooting, it was not good. Do you know why?” I tried to look innocent. “No, not really.” Teo tugged his beard. “Because you have broken the heart of my star!” he burst out. “Do you not see how miserable he is? Do you not see how much he cares for you?” I looked around, but no one was close enough to hear, and Gregor was nowhere in sight. “I have no choice, Teo,” I told him. I was skeptical about the broken heart bit; I felt that Teo, being Latin, liked to exaggerate. “I already told you why.” Teo shook his head. “You are not like those others,” he told me. “You are…different.” “How am I supposed to believe that?” I burst out. “If it’s true, then why is he still engaged to Clara? Why is she still here?” “He is trying to break it off with her, gradually. She is- she is a difficult person. She cares for him- well, too much! He does not want to hurt her. But he does not want to marry her, Elise. He told you that, didn’t he?” I looked down at the polished stone floor. “I didn’t tell you this earlier, but she also said to me, the other night…” I stopped, waited for my voice to steady, and then started again. “She said she would hate for another accident to happen, Teo. She said it just like that. I don’t know if she did those other things, and I don’t know if we’ll ever find out. But she’s dangerous, Teo. If she had a choice between letting him go or killing him, I think she’d kill him.” Teo’s eyes got very round. “We can stop her, Elise. We can, you and me. We can figure out a way to trap her…” “I don’t know, Teo. It doesn’t matter, anyway. I’m not taking that chance with him. I love him too much…” I cleared my throat. “I love him too much to risk his life.” Teo shook his head. “You cannot base your decision on such a premise,” he said stubbornly. “Did you not see his face today, every time he looked at you? You must not let her win, Elise. Whether or not she did this, you have to do what is right, in your heart. Not for her, but for you. And for Mac.” I thought over his words for a minute. “I don’t know,” I said finally.
142
Teo crooked his finger and lifted my chin for a minute. “You look as miserable as he does,” he said, dropping his hand. “I will not interfere any more. But Elise, think about what I said. Follow your heart. It is all you have to guide you in this world.” I walked slowly back to the hotel. I wanted to walk, not only because it was a beautiful evening, which it was. But I needed the fresh air, the solitude, to clear my head. I walked along the bridge to the other side of the city, watching the water sparkle in the late evening sun, enjoying the warmth on my face and arms after being inside the cathedral for hours. I actually felt better than I had all day. When I had crossed to the other side of the river, Jack came into my field of vision. He was standing by the water, hands stuffed in his pockets, a slightly sheepish smile on his face. He came towards me. “Thought you might be walking back,” he said. “Want to go through the gardens?” The Summer Gardens flanked the river, and they were truly lovely- wide stone paths lined with statues, flowers in abundance, trees arching gracefully overhead to provide a canopy of shade. Light dappled softly through their leaves, and our shadows loomed long in front of us as we sauntered along. “How did you know I’d be walking back?” I asked curiously. Jack tossed his curls. “You always walk when you’re upset about something.” I smiled grimly. Tourists passed us, as well as locals taking their evening stroll. Lovers with arms intertwined went by, heads bent close together. “Gee, what made you think I was upset?” I asked sarcastically. Jack waited while I stopped to admire a statue of Venus. “Did you and Gregor have a fight?” he said at last. “He couldn’t keep it together for anything today, and kept giving you these moony looks.” I traced the statue’s lips with my finger. “No, we didn’t have a fight,” I replied evenly, turning away and resuming my steps. “I just told him we needed to stop seeing each other.” Jack’s eyes bugged out of his head. “Really? Why?” I sighed deeply. “I don’t really feel like talking about it, Jack.” I blinked back my millionth set of tears for the day. “I’m not exactly jumping for joy over this.”
143
Jack was quiet for a few minutes. I’m sure he was trying to think of something tactful to say. I don’t know if he was happy or just puzzled. Maybe he was realizing I wasn’t such a prize now that I was available. “Is it for real?” he asked finally. “I mean, for good?” I tried to breathe normally despite the pain settling in my chest. If it were possible for one’s heart to be breaking, I’m pretty sure it was happening to mine. “I don’t know,” I answered. “For now, yes.” We walked along. It was growing duskier now. “I think we should head back to the hotel,” I said. “It’s getting late, and I’m really tired.” Jack hesitated, then stopped, turning to face me. “I’m sorry,” he said, looking into my eyes. “I don’t like to see you this unhappy, Elise.” Hesitantly, he put his arms around me. I let him. I leaned against his chest, breathing in the instantly familiar scent of his aftershave, of his jacket, of his soft skin and hair. I closed my eyes and let the sadness wash over me. Tears slipped out from under my lids, but I didn’t care. I didn’t have to put on any pretense in front of Jack. How long we stood like that, I don’t know, but it was nice. Finally, Jack pulled back a little to look down at me. “Better?” he asked, brushing his finger along my wet cheeks. I nodded. “A little.” He gave me a quick squeeze, then let me go. Slowly, we walked back to the hotel. We didn’t speak; there wasn’t anything to say. It was just comforting to know he was there with me. We walked into the hotel and through the lobby, past the lounge that opened out on one side. There was a fair amount of people there, and we recognized Molly and Arne and some of the crew. “Come join us,” Molly called, waving. I didn’t feel up to it, and I was embarrassed, knowing my eyes must be red. Jack seemed to sense my reluctance. “No, that’s okay,” he said. He put his hand on my arm. Gregor came into my field of vision. He was sitting at the bar, and while there were people around him, he appeared to be ignoring everyone, staring up at the TV. He looked over at the sound of Jack’s voice, and our eyes met. It was like one of those scenes from a movie, when everyone gets really quiet. I don’t know, actually, if that’s true or not; it’s just the impression that I have. But there were enough
144
people from the crew there who sort of knew what was going on to be interested in seeing what Gregor was about to do. He didn’t seem to know, himself, at first. I tried to look away, but I knew he was still watching me. Then I saw him get up, and his unsteadiness made me realize he was likely drunk. In fact, he had probably been drinking since he got back from the shoot, a good hour and a half ago. He’d probably never even gone up to his room. I felt Jack tense up beside me. No doubt he was expecting some violence to erupt, and no one would be betting on Jack in a fight against Gregor. I have to say, thought, he was braver than I thought. He stood there beside me, not moving, his face registering only pleasant surprise, like Gregor was going to ask us to join him for a drink. That was not likely. Gregor moved towards us, and I saw his face full of the emotions I had only glimpsed last night: anger, and hurt, and confusion. He stopped a couple of feet from us and gestured to Jack. “So,” he said heavily to me. “This explains a lot, I suppose.” I drew my breath in. I had to try and defuse this as quickly as possible, especially in front of all these people. “I walked home from the shoot,” I said, trying to stay calm. “Jack and I ran into each other on the way back.” I glanced at the bartender, who was already quietly motioning to the hotel security guard. “Hey, you look like you need some dinner, Gregor. Do you want to sit down and order some food?” I took a step towards an empty table. Gregor’s gaze shifted to Jack. “Well, this is what you wanted, isn’t it?” he said, too loudly. Even people who hadn’t been watching looked over. “She’s all yours now, Jack. You played it right, didn’t you? Hanging around her all the time, kissing her- you figured sooner or later I’d tire of her.” He looked back at me. “Only she got tired of me, I guess.” I felt like he’d stabbed me in the chest. Oh, if only he knew nothing could be farther from the truth. “Gregor,” I said. I went over to him and put my hand on his arm. He flinched and pulled away. “Listen,” I said, low. “Let me take you back to your room. You’re pretty drunk. Can you take my arm and we’ll walk back? The hotel security guard is coming over here.” “Fuck the guard,” Gregor said. “And stop fucking patronizing me. You told me everything you needed to last night. Let me get stinking drunk, what do you care?” He pushed over a chair, which landed on the marble floor with a clatter. I stepped back, and Jack moved as if to cover me.
145
Gregor laughed. It was more like a groan. “Don’t worry,” he said to Jack. “I’d never lay a hand on her. You, I wouldn’t count on being so lucky.” His arm flew out, but Jack, who used to take karate, blocked his punch expertly. At the same moment, two security guards pounced on Gregor. They grabbed his arms and held them behind his back, pulling him away from Jack. “There, now, you sir,” one of them said in broken English, “none of that. Let’s get you up to your room so you can sleep this off.” I imagine they must have known who Gregor was, or he would have been tossed out of the bar, and the hotel, on his ass. Instead, they each took one arm and led him quietly towards the elevator. He looked down the entire time, not resisting, and didn’t speak to either of them. I stood there, aware that everyone around us was murmuring, probably disappointed that no blood had spilled. Jack stood at my side, breathing hard, maybe a little upset himself that he hadn’t had more of a chance to show off his ninja skills. “Well, that’s over,” I mumbled to no one in particular. Jack touched my arm, and only then did I realize I was shaking. “Come on,” he said quietly. “I’ll walk you to your room.” We didn’t say anything in the elevator. At my door, I turned to him. “Thanks for everything,” I said. “I’m really sorry about what happened in there.” “It’s okay,” Jack replied. “He’ll probably feel bad about it in the morning.” I leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said, and quickly went into my room. 15. The next morning saw us all back at the cathedral. It dawned on me that I was going to have to get through at least another couple of months or more of filming, seeing Gregor nearly every day. I wondered if each day would get a little easier, or if I would still feel that pain like a fresh wound every time. Gregor showed up late, his eyes bloodshot, a paper cup of coffee in his hand. Clara was primly by his side, dressed like she was off to a polo match. I wondered if she’d ever leave, go on to wherever it was she was supposed to go and burn her money. I doubted it. I overheard her
146
telling Sheila she wanted to check out the cathedral and watch some of the filming. “Gregor told me it’s breathtaking, I can’t believe I’ve never been here before,” she said. And she’ll be keeping an eye on me, too, I thought glumly, leaning over my script. I wanted to crack her skull with one of the heavy bronze busts that were standing around. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Gregor approaching Jack. He took him aside, and they spoke quietly for a few minutes. Then Gregor stuck out his hand and Jack shook it. Guess they were back to being friends again. I sighed and felt even more sorry for myself. Teo stopped next to me while everyone was getting into place. “You look like hell,” he commented. I had tossed and turned again last night, stopping myself about a million times from calling Gregor to check on him. “Thanks,” I muttered. Teo just shook his head at me and moved on. Vanessa approached me during a short break. “Want to join me for a smoke?” she asked. “I know you don’t smoke, but I could use the company.” I knew she was lying, because I always saw her taking her cigarette break with some of the other crew members, never alone. But I took her up on her offer. We went outside into the courtyard. It was a cloudy day, with rain threatening, which suited my mood perfectly. Vanessa concentrated on tapping out a cigarette and lighting it before she spoke to me. “I heard from Dylan what happened last night,” she said. “I can guess what it was about.” I leaned against the cool stone wall of the fortress. “It was just a misunderstanding,” I said. I didn’t really feel embarrassed talking to her. She seemed sympathetic, and I felt like her past history with Gregor, whatever it was, made us understand each other instinctively. “I think Gregor apologized to Jack this morning. I’ve never seen him that drunk.” Vanessa nodded. “He was a pretty impulsive kid, when I knew him.” She got a faraway look in her eyes. “Unbelievable sex appeal onstage- I mean, it’s not always easy for people to see that in a play, as opposed to in a movie. But he drank a lot then, picked fights sometimes. I think he’s matured a lot, but I guess he was pretty upset last night.” I pulled my thin sweater around me and shivered a little as a breeze picked up. “So you did know him before,” I said simply.
147
Vanessa gave me a crooked smile. “Yeah, I did. I directed him in a play, one of his first and my last in London. A Streetcar Named Desire. You’ve seen the movie, the one with Marlon Brando? Gregor was ten times hotter than Brando. Women were literally fainting in the aisles.” I doubted that, but I smiled at the image. “I bet.” “We had a- a fling, I guess you’d call it. I didn’t say anything about it the other night because- well, I kind of knew you two had a thing going, and I don’t like to make waves.” She lit another cigarette from the first. “I’m almost ten years older than he is, so I guess he looked up to me, being new to the theater world. God knows there were so few straight men there, he could’ve had his pick of any woman.” She laughed, then coughed. “What happened?” I asked. “Oh, it only lasted a few weeks. By then I had already decided I was ready to go back to the States. I wanted to try Hollywood- I’d already burned through New York and London.” She smiled at the memory. “Gregor actually wanted to follow me. I convinced him to stay in London. His mother was in England, and I knew it would break her heart if he left. He was very close to her, and her only child.” Her face darkened for a minute, and I thought maybe she knew something about Gregor’s father. I was about to ask, but then she continued hurriedly. “So he stayed, and I left. And being that this was back in the dark ages before email and cell phones, we didn’t speak again for eighteen years. When Teo told me he wanted Gregor for the role of Max, I was stoked. I knew he’d be great, and I was curious to meet him again, to see if he’d changed. In a way, like I said, he has, but in a way, he hasn’t. Still a troublemaker.” She laughed. I nodded, my heart lightening a little. “Yes. That’s for sure.” I paused. “Did you miss him?” I asked finally. “When you left? I mean, you only knew him for a little while. But did you miss him?” She looked at me, her blue eyes thoughtful, far away. “Oh, yes,” she said slowly. “You have no idea. Elise, I missed him like hell.” After that conversation with Vanessa, I felt like I was just going through the motions. It was worse than yesterday because not only did I have to watch Gregor skulking around the church (and having a short kissing scene with Sheila, I might add), I also had to stomach seeing
148
Clara watch the filming. She was like a kid, clapping her hands after each scene, going up to Gregor at each break and exclaiming, “That was wonderful!” with more enthusiasm than I’d ever seen her display. My head started to ache, and I wanted nothing more than to go back to the hotel and crawl under the covers. Or better yet, get back on a plane to New York. At about three-thirty, the bad weather that had been auguring all day finally broke. The cathedral echoed with rumbles of thunder and the windows were brilliantly illuminated by bursts of lightning. Teo decided to keep filming, as he thought it leant atmosphere to the scene. You could hardly hear anything over the din, though. And then, with one particularly loud boom that shook the stone floor and rattled the windows, the lights went out, leaving us in darkness save for the lightning flashes. A groan went up as the camera operators and sound crew checked their equipment for damage from the power surge. There must have been a back-up generator because a few lights kicked on throughout the church, but all they really did was shine on a couple of statues, throwing shadows across everything else. I’m sure I’m not the only one who felt creeped out by being in a thunderstorm, in neardarkness, in a church full of crypts. A few comments to that effect were made, until finally Teo said, “Well, take a break, everyone, until the power comes back.” I felt my phone buzzing and looked down. Meet me in the Romanov family crypt, it read. I looked around. Everyone was milling around, some sitting, some scrolling through their BlackBerries or iphones, some still trying to figure out if the equipment was okay. I saw Clara chatting it up with Teo, and hoped he would be able to keep her corralled for a while. I slipped over to the Romanov crypt, which was actually inside the Chapel of St. Catherine the Martyr, off to one side of the nave. It was a small room, with large plaques on the walls bearing each of the family’s names, and a single tomb which I imagined contained as many remains as could be found of the doomed clan. On the other side of the tomb, crouched in the corner, was a figure. I glanced around before darting over and squeezing in between him and a small potted plant. There was just enough room for both of us to remain hidden, though it was so dark, it hardly mattered. I could just make out Gregor’s profile, and it looked like he was smiling.
149
“Wasn’t sure you’d come,” he whispered. He smelled like cigarettes and leather, the latter owing to the jacket he was wearing for the scene. “Couldn’t resist the opportunity to catch me in the dark, I suppose.” I rested my back against the wall and looked up at the frescoed ceiling, where glints of gold only hinted at its splendor. “How are you feeling?” I asked in tones just as low. Gregor sighed and leaned back as well. “About as good as poor Nicholas here. I don’t think I’ve been that drunk in years. After I was escorted to my room, I passed out cold and slept all night. Clara finally woke me at six.” I didn’t want to talk about Clara. “Did you remember what happened?” I asked. Gregor shrugged. “Enough to be embarrassed. I apologized to Jack this morning. I used to get into rows when I was much, much younger. I’m way too old to act the way I did last night.” “It’s okay,” I said. “At least nobody got hurt.” Gregor was quiet for a minute. I was at a loss for what to say. I feared that if we talked much longer, I was going to wear down. It’s for the best, I kept chanting to myself like a mantra. He’ll be safe this way. “Are you able to tell me what’s going on inside that lovely head of yours?” he asked finally. I rolled the hem of my sweater between my fingers. “Nothing much,” I said. “A little math, the occasional poem or scientific observation.” He laughed, the first real laugh I’d heard from him in days. “And what poem?” he asked. “Care to share?” Another crack of thunder interrupted us. After it had died down, I softly quoted a few lines from one of my favorite poems, T.S. Eliot’s “The Wasteland.” Gregor reflected on this for a minute. “What did the last line mean?” he asked. “ ‘Empty and waste the sea.’ It’s a quote from Tristan and Isolde. They are waiting for the boat that is supposed to be bringing Isolde back to Tristan, who is dying.” I paused. “But it never comes.” “Elise,” Gregor said, then stopped, deferring again to the thunder, which was actually a little quieter now. “Is this how it is going to end, for us?”
150
I swallowed around the tears that were gathering in my throat. “I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t know the ending, Gregor.” He seemed to consider this. “When, then?” he asked, so softly I had to lean in to hear him. “When will you know?” I didn’t know what to answer, but I was saved the trouble. At that very moment, the lights all came back on. Everyone started talking at once. Gregor and I looked at each other, knowing we were about to be discovered. Then he grinned, and leaned in to brush my lips against his. “I’ll go first,” he said. “You lay low for another couple minutes. Nobody will be by.” I was glad I was able to sit. Even that tiniest of kisses had made my knees weak. I suppose he was emboldened by my indecisiveness. I cursed myself for being so wishy-washy and resolved not to allow myself to be alone with him again. But then, I heard a scream. We all heard it. It came from the sanctuary, which was at the front of the church and separated from the main area by the iconoclast. I jumped up, and saw that a few people were hurrying in that direction. I came out of the St. Catherine Chapel and walked up past the rows of crypts, towards the sanctuary. I heard voices now from behind the huge gilded screen, of the others who had gone before me, but I still couldn’t make out what was happening. Jack came up beside me. “Who was that who screamed?” he asked me. “I don’t know,” I said. We reached the iconoclast and peered through the opening. What we saw made my heart stand still. A figure was lying on the polished stone floor, just beyond the screen and off to the side a little. It was Sheila, and she wasn’t moving. She was lying crumpled as though she’d fallen. In the middle of her white blouse, just to the left of her breastbone, was a small golden handle, surrounded by a dark red stain… A wave of nausea swept over me. I don’t think I was the only one. Arne and Dylan were there too, and a couple of others, and their faces revealed the horror and shock I felt. One of the crew members, Laura, was holding a power cord in one hand. It must have been her screaming. Her eyes were wide with terror. “Oh, God,” Jack said.
151
Arne took charge. “Jack, take her,” he said, putting his large hands on Laura’s shoulders and guiding her away from the body, over to Jack. “She’s probably in shock. Dylan and Mike, you go call the police. Post yourselves at the doors and make sure nobody leaves the building. And Elise, you stay here with me until the police come. We have to make sure everything stays exactly the way it is until the police get here.” Clearly Arne must have watched his share of Norwegian crime dramas on TV. Everyone scattered, I suppose grateful for being told what to do. Arne knelt down quickly, took Sheila’s limp hand, and felt her wrist for a minute. He shook his head and gently put it back down. “No,” he said to me. “No hope for her.” I clutched the metal fence around the iconoclast for support. “It must have happened when the lights were out,” I said. It was unbelievable; I wanted to look away from the body, but I just couldn’t. There was something so pitiful about it, that small twisted figure lying on its back in this huge cathedral. She didn’t look peaceful either; her eyes were wide with terror, her face contorted in pain. It must have been a horrible death. Others were running up, Teo leading the way. I stopped them at the opening. “Is it true?” Teo asked. He looked past me at Sheila. “Oh, my God,” he said, even his composure momentarily crumpling. Then he turned to the others behind him and said in a choked voice, “Please, stay back, everyone.” He looked at Arne. “Any chance…” Arne shook his head, still kneeling beside the body. “She was like this when Laura found her. I think it happened- quickly.” Teo passed his hand over his eyes, then stood up straighter. “Elise, I must take charge. No one can leave this building. Whoever did this to Sheila is still here, in this room.” My skin prickled when he said that. “I told Mike and Dylan to guard the doors,” Arne said. “The police are hopefully already on their way.” Teo turned and guided the others back up towards the entrance, where everyone else was still milling around. I could see some people crying, others standing still in obvious shock as the word spread. I didn’t see Gregor at first, but then I glimpsed him with Houston, who must have just heard the news and appeared to be trying to run over to us. Gregor was talking to him and holding onto both his shoulders, probably trying to convince him to stay away. I couldn’t even imagine how Houston felt right now. I looked back at Arne. “So Laura found her here?” I asked.
152
Arne stood up. “As soon as the lights came back on, she had to set up one of the still cameras back here for the next scene. She was looking for an outlet, and…” his voice trailed off. I saw Houston break free of Gregor and come running towards us. Gregor followed, and I heard him call out, “You can’t help her now, man.” Houston stopped abruptly at the opening, then pushed past Arne and me and stood over Sheila. I heard a noise come from him, like the sound of a keening animal, and I turned away, clenching my fist over own mouth. I had never heard a sound like that; it was horrible. Gregor put his hand on my arm, and I wasn’t sure if it was to steady me, or himself. He stared at Sheila’s body for a minute, as Arne took Houston’s shoulder and pulled him gently away from her. Then Gregor looked back at me, and I saw that his face was full of grief and shock. I imagine he was thinking what I was, what probably all of us were: if there was anyone we would have expected to find lying on the floor dead, it was not Sheila. “How could this have happened?” he asked quietly. I just shook my head. “I don’t know, Gregor.” The police arrived more quickly than I would have thought- they were probably outside patrolling the fortress. They came up to the sanctuary just then, and asked Arne and me a few brief questions before dismissing us. Houston just stood there, his face buried in his hands. “Come on,” Gregor said softly, putting his arm around Houston’s shoulders. The four of us slowly walked back into the nave. More police were coming in now, and also a man with a black canvas bag who was probably with the medical examiner’s office. They quickly cordoned off the sanctuary and started dividing us into groups for questioning. I was with Molly and Arne, and a few others. The police took each of us off to the side to talk to us alone. Once again, I didn’t have anything enlightening to tell them, and I doubted anyone else did either. I hadn’t seen Sheila during the time that the lights were out, and I hadn’t noticed anything unusual. “I was with a friend the whole time,” I told the officer. “In there.” I motioned to St. Catherine’s Chapel. “Who was that?” the officer asked. “Gregor McKeon.” He jotted it down on his pad, then looked up quickly. “The actor?” I nodded. “He was with you the whole time the power was out?”
153
“He texted me to meet him there. I came a minute later.” “So when the lights first went out, he was not in your sight?” “It was probably just for a minute, before I went in and saw him in the chapel.” The officer nodded. “Do you have any idea who could have done this to Miss- Halliday? Did she have enemies?” I shook my head. “Not that I know of. I didn’t really know her well. We rarely spoke.” I was dismissed to go back to the others. We stood around, wondering what was going to happen next. “They can’t keep us in here forever,” Molly said. She gave a little shiver. Add one body to the count already locked within these impenetrable walls. “They won’t,” Arne assured her. “They just want to make sure they question everyone.” I saw Gregor again, across the room now, standing next to Clara. He had his arm around her, and she was leaning into him. I hadn’t imagined she was such a friend of Sheila’s, but then, it was a shock to everyone. Of course, if she was the one who had put the knife into Sheila, she was, as usual, acting. I wondered very much what she had been doing while Gregor and I were huddled in the shadows of the Romanovs’ grave. And it made me feel even worse, watching them, imagining that it could have been him with the knife in his chest. But why wasn’t it him, I wondered? It’s not as though someone mistook Sheila for him in the dark. He was nearly a foot taller and easily fifty pounds heavier than she was. Obviously there was a lot going on that we didn’t know about. We saw some uniformed men wheel in a stretcher, and after a while longer, wheel it back out with a sheet over the body. Everyone was quiet as it went by. I could just glimpse the medical examiner’s van outside the church doors. There were some onlookers gathered there, but the police seemed to be trying hard to move them away. After what seemed like hours, the police announced that they might be calling some of us down to the station for more questions. They also told us that our hotel rooms would probably be searched later on, if we gave permission, or, if we objected, if they thought it necessary enough to get a warrant. But for now, we were free to leave. Molly and Arne walked towards the door with their arms around each other. I followed, feeling strangely hungry and sick at the same time. Everyone headed out into the evening sunshine, which had returned. In fact, it was beautiful out, which only made everything seem
154
worse. Out of everyone who had gone into the building that day, one of us had not made it back out. A few reporters were there with their news vans, but the police had cordoned off the area in front of the church, and they were far enough away to not be a distraction. We milled around for a while. A lot of people lit up cigarettes, Gregor included. Those who didn’t smoke probably wished they did. Jack found me and gave me a hug. “You okay?” he asked. “Yeah, just freaked out, like everyone else.” “No kidding.” His face was still pale. “So terrible. Where were you when the lights were out? I don’t suppose you saw anything.” “No.” I paused. “I was actually in the little St. Catherine chapel. Where Tsar Nicholas and his family were buried. How long was it even for? It couldn’t have been more than five or ten minutes.” “Enough time for someone to take advantage of the dark. I just wonder how they got the knife through those metal detectors at the entrance.” I pondered this. “They could have gone in a side door, maybe. Though I thought all those were locked. I remember trying one the other day.” “The knife was from the gift shop,” Vanessa put in. We both looked over; we hadn’t noticed her there. She was puffing away on her Virginia Slims. She must have brought a case of them with her from L.A. “I heard two of the cops talking about it with Teo. Apparently it’s just like the daggers they sell there.” “But I saw that the gift shop was closed,” Jack said. “Everything was closed, except to us.” “It was closed, so someone must have bought the knife a couple days earlier and maybe hid it somewhere inside the church. The gift shop and the church are connected, and you don’t have to go through the detectors to get from one to the other. No cameras in the shop, I heard them say, and there aren’t any inside the cathedral either, which is strange. But I guess it would mess up the integrity of the place, and they usually have security guards patrolling anyway, so it doesn’t matter. There were only two guards here while we were filming, and apparently one was on break and one was watching the main doors when the lights went out.”
155
“So there was some planning involved,” Jack said. “Someone hid the knife a couple days ago, paid attention to the guards’ schedules. But how would they know the power would go out? That’s an act of God.” Vanessa flicked her ashes and shrugged. “Maybe they were waiting for an opportunity when Sheila was alone. There are plenty of secret hiding places inside the church. All they’d have to do is stick the knife in her and walk away. It wouldn’t take more than a minute. She probably would not even have the chance to scream.” Jack shuddered. “I can’t believe all these things keep happening right in front of us. First Gregor, now Sheila- this movie set is cursed.” Vanessa looked at him thoughtfully. “Do you really believe in that kind of crap? I’m sure the two must be connected.” Arne and Molly drifted over. “They have to be,” Arne said, having heard Vanessa’s last statement. “My guess is that Sheila knew something about what had been happening to Gregor.” “Do you think she was blackmailing the- the murderer?” Jack put in. He was an avid reader of crime novels, as I well knew. Vanessa ground out her cigarette and ran her hand through her hair. “Possibly. Or maybe she just said something to them, let them know she was onto them. Stupid, of course.” Her pale blue eyes held scorn. I had a feeling that Vanessa had not been too fond of Sheila. They were not exactly the same type. In fact, there could have been a pretty decent sitcom plot based on them, say, getting an apartment together, or dating the same guy. Arne looked around at the four of us. “So where were you all during the blackout?” he asked casually. “Checking my email,” Jack said, a little too quickly, perhaps. “I was by the front doors with Mike. I didn’t see anything, of course.” “I was on the phone with my kids,” Vanessa replied. “I didn’t notice a damn thing either.” She sounded disappointed. “And Molly was with me, checking the equipment,” Arne said. He gave me a pointed stare. “I was sitting in the chapel where the Romanovs were buried,” I replied innocently. “I didn’t want to move around much and trip over a cord or something.”
156
Arne nodded. “Well, I know this sounds inappropriate, but I’m starving,” he said. “Should we all go grab a bite?” Vanessa nodded. “Hell, we’re human,” she said. “Let me see if Teo and Gregor want to join us.” She walked off. Arne went to find Dylan to tell him we were leaving, but apparently Dylan had gone with Laura, the unfortunate girl who had found the body, to the hospital where they were observing her for shock. I didn’t blame her; I felt like I was in a fog myself, like this was a nightmare from which we’d all wake. Vanessa returned. “Teo has too much to do, he has to get with George over a press release and talk to Sheila’s family and all that. Gregor’s coming, but he’s going back to the hotel first with Houston. He’ll meet us out.” “Poor Houston,” Molly commented. “Yeah, strange,” Vanessa said as we all walked towards the entrance to the fortress. “He and Sheila only just got together a few months ago.” Vanessa had a hired car that was big enough for all of us, so we rode in comfort back over to our side of the Neva River and ended up at a small Middle Eastern restaurant. It was almost empty, and we sank down into the comfort of the sofas and cushions. We all ordered wine and sat quietly for a few minutes. “What do we know about Sheila?” Arne asked, leaning forward and looking around at us all. Apparently he was appointing himself as chief investigator of the case. We shook our heads and looked at Vanessa. She lit a cigarette and blew smoke thoughtfully into the air. “Not much. She was married for about ten years. Got divorced, maybe a couple years back. No kids. I think she and Houston met when they were reading for the movie.” Molly sipped her wine. “Wasn’t Houston married?” she said. “I think I remember seeing pictures of him with his wife at some Hollywood party a while back.” “Yes, and they have kids. I think he cheated on her a lot, but this time, when he took up with Sheila, his wife actually kicked him out,” I put in. Everyone looked at me in some surprise. “I read celebrity gossip on the Internet every now and then,” I said hastily. No reason for everyone to know Teo had been giving me briefings. “You hate that stuff,” Jack pointed out.
157
“When it’s about me, I do.” Everyone laughed. Arne looked approvingly at me. “So this time was different,” he said thoughtfully. “Wonder why. Maybe McKeon will have a better idea.” “Well, I think we can assume that Sheila’s death was the result of what happened to Gregor,” Vanessa said, looking around. “Maybe the police will turn up something when they search her hotel room. I bet they’re already there.” I wondered again about Vanessa herself, sitting there looking so relaxed. Maybe she had offed Sheila herself and was kicking back afterwards, feeling she was safe once more. I could see her twisting that knife as easily as I could picture Clara doing it. The waiter brought some plates of hummus and pita bread and tabbouleh, and we dug in eagerly, as by this time it was close to nine and none of us had eaten since lunch. I felt the good wine go to my head and for the first time in a few days, I didn’t feel entirely awful, despite the circumstances. Gregor finally arrived a little while later, alone except for the bodyguard he’d finally hired. Clara, joyfully, was nowhere in sight. “God, what a mess,” Gregor said as he sank into a chair next to me that had been conveniently (by Vanessa) left open. He looked over at me. Our eyes met, and though we said nothing, I knew that he was glad to see me there, glad to be with me. Vanessa nodded sympathetically as she reached for a glass and poured him some wine. “Here, take this. And eat some of this,” she said, pushing some plates of lamb and vegetables and couscous towards him. “You’re probably starving.” Gregor thanked her and sipped his wine. “I’m too strung out to eat yet,” he said. “Let me wind down first.” He looked around at all of us. “Everyone holding up okay?” We all nodded. “How’s Houston?” Vanessa asked. “He looked like a wreck.” “Pretty distraught. There’s a doctor with him now. I think he’s going to give him something to help him sleep. He called Katie, his wife, and she’s flying in tomorrow to be with him.” “Interesting,” Vanessa commented. “And Clara?” she added somewhat wickedly, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. “She seemed pretty upset too.” “She is. She didn’t want to go out anywhere. Called me a savage for even thinking about eating.” Gregor smiled a little. “I guess I am. But we’re human, after all.”
158
“And how are you, man?” Arne broke in. “You knew Sheila better than we did.” “Only professionally,” Gregor replied. He stared for a moment at the black velvet drapes on the walls. “She was- well, rather difficult to work with, as you all probably could tell. I don’t want to speak ill of the dead,” he added quickly. “But let’s put it this way, we weren’t close.” “Any scoop on her personal life?” Vanessa asked. “Other than we know that she was shagging Houston and his wife had kicked him to the curb for it.” Gregor looked amused by her synopsis. “Nothing more than you do. I met his wife once or twice. Nice woman. Apparently it wasn’t the first time he’d strayed, but she was probably fed up.” His eyes rested on me for a second. “Maybe she knew this time was different. Sheila told me that Katie had just filed for divorce and was probably going to sue Houston for every cent he had. Whether that’s true or not, I have no idea- I’m not one for speculation. And Sheila liked to make everything around her dramatic.” He lifted his wineglass to his lips. “The fact that Katie is ready to jump on a plane to come see him tells me she may also be ready to forgive him.” “Wow,” I said. “Maybe there’s hope for them after all.” “They have kids,” Gregor said. “That may make the difference.” Vanessa refilled his glass and mine. “Anyone else?” she said brightly, holding up the bottle. “Did Teo or the police give you any information?” Arne asked, getting back to the crime at hand. Gregor helped himself to some food. “I heard a few bits. Apparently the knife may have come from the church gift shop, though of course they won’t know for sure until they examine it further. Another thing I overheard was that they were going to take the basin of holy water away for testing.” We all looked at each other blankly until Jack said, “For blood?” “That’s the impression I got.” Molly made a face. “That’s horrible.” “You didn’t see anything while the lights were out?” Arne asked conversationally. I almost wanted to laugh at his lack of subtlety. Gregor shook his head. “Not anything having to do with Sheila. I was in the Romanov chapel the whole time.”
159
Jack shot me a look, which I ignored. Gregor seemed oblivious. “Other than the knife and the holy water, I don’t know much. Houston did tell me an interesting bit of news when we got back to the hotel just now. He said that Sheila actually said something to him a couple of days ago- I think it was the morning after I OD’d at the karaoke bar.” We all leaned in closer. “Something- like she knew who did it to you?” I asked. Gregor chewed thoughtfully for a minute, then drank some more wine. “She was very vague, Houston said. Just something along the lines of, ‘She wouldn’t be so smug if she knew I was watching her the whole time.’” “’She’?” Vanessa echoed. Gregor nodded. “He didn’t remember her exact words, but it was definitely a ‘she.’” Nobody spoke for a minute. I think most of us were all silently agreeing on who we thought ‘she’ might have been. “No indication of who Sheila meant by that, I guess?” Arne broke in. Gregor shook his head. He smiled grimly at all of us. “Not too many people fit that bill.” Everyone politely refrained from commenting. The waiter came by with baklava and Turkish coffee. It was delicious pastry, and good coffee, flavored with cardamom. I didn’t mind drinking mine, figuring I wasn’t going to get much sleep tonight anyway. I was pretty sure the events of today were going to have me tossing and turning yet again. “Were they searching Sheila’s room back at the hotel?” Vanessa asked, skipping dessert to smoke instead. “Or anyone else’s?” “Her suite was already cordoned off when I passed by, but I understand they’ll have to ask permission to search anyone else’s, unless they can get a warrant.” Gregor put down his coffee cup. “It’s not your grandmother’s Soviet Union anymore. They are trying to follow procedure, with all the publicity surrounding this case.” “Was the hotel swarming with reporters?” Jack asked. “A bunch were outside, but none was allowed in. Alexei is very protective of his guests,” Gregor added bemusedly.
160
We finished our dessert in silence. I think we all felt on edge, worn out and yet wired. We weren’t sure what to do next. “Did Teo call any of Sheila’s family yet?” Molly asked Gregor as the waiter came by with the bill. “I think he was planning on it. He wanted them notified before any of the press blabbed about who it was that died.” Gregor checked his watch. “It’s nearly eleven. He probably has issued a statement by now. We might even be able to catch it on the news.” The restaurant was closing, so we decided to head back to the hotel and see if we could watch TV in the bar, since nobody really felt like going back to their rooms yet. It was like we felt there was safety in numbers, safety against whom or what, we weren’t quite sure. We walked out into the cool night air, which felt good after the smoky restaurant. Gregor walked next to me. Once we were far enough away from the others not to be overheard, he said, low, “All I can think, Elise, is that it should have been me. Poor Sheila, poor, stupid Sheila.” I fought every instinct I had not to take his hand. It was more dangerous now than ever, I knew. “Why stupid?” I asked. “Because she let the murderer know she was on to them?” Gregor nodded, stopping to light a cigarette. He offered me one, and I took it. Our faces were close together as he lit mine. I literally had to take a step away. He laughed, but it was a bitter laugh. “Afraid I’ll bite?” he asked. I took a drag and exhaled. “Something like that.” We resumed walking. “But it wasn’t you,” I said quietly. “Thank God.” “But why wasn’t it me?” “Once we know that, we’ll know who did it,” I replied. “We may never know, Elise.” I shook my head. “Don’t say such things. They’ll get caught, Gregor. They’re desperate, don’t you see?” I was trying to warn him. Don’t go to Clara tonight, I wanted to say. Whatever you do. But I also realized I had already as good as driven him back into her arms. It was only a couple of blocks to the hotel. I remembered the reporters. “Let me go first,” I told Gregor. He nodded resignedly.
161
The police did a good job of keeping the reporters on the other side of the street, so we all made it into the lobby unmolested. More police were inside. They nodded at us as we went into the bar. Jack looked at me as we all sat down at a table. “Crazy day, huh?” he commented. He glanced from me to Gregor, and then back again. I think he was still trying to figure it all out. The bartender obligingly put on the BBC news station and we all watched as footage of the cathedral sprang into view. The female reporter in the foreground, microphone in hand, was just starting to speak. “In a tragic turn of events, part of a growing mystery that has baffled police across two countries, the co-star of the film Time of Your Life was found dead this afternoon inside the St. Peter and Paul Cathedral here in St. Petersburg. The cast and crew were filming today inside the three-hundred-year-old church, when a thunderstorm caused a temporary power outage. When the lights went back on, it was discovered that Sheila Halliday, the film’s female star, had been stabbed to death inside the church sanctuary. Her body was discovered by one of the crew members.” As the reporter spoke, a few hastily put together clips showed the inside of the cathedral, obviously from another day, as it was filled with tourists. They then cut to some footage of Sheila, probably from a movie premiere, dressed in a long black gown and simpering at the cameras. It was chilling to see her up there. “When we first learned of this incident, we could not release her name pending notification of her family,” the reporter continued as a couple more old clips of Sheila flashed by. “But a statement just released by the film’s publicist has confirmed that the dead woman was indeed Ms. Halliday. Her death today marks another in a string of events that has puzzled police as well as everyone involved in the film’s production. The star of the movie, Gregor McKeon, shown here…” (cut to a scene of Gregor leaving the hospital in Pest, bandaged forehead and all) “was seriously injured when rocks fell on him during filming at a cave in Budapest. A few days later, Mr. McKeon was hospitalized for what was described as an ‘accident’ involving an overdose of pain medication.” They cut back to the reporter, frowning earnestly into the camera. “It is unknown whether or not this latest tragedy is related somehow to the other two incidents, but police in both Budapest and St. Petersburg are working hard to solve the puzzle- hopefully before another life is lost.”
162
The reporter disappeared as Teo came onto the screen. He was standing outside the hotel, which meant it must have been recent footage. “My heart bleeds for Ms. Halliday’s family,” he said, his face drawn and sadder than I’d ever seen it. “I just got off the telephone with her mother. They are devastated, as are all of us, by this senseless tragedy. All of us here on the set are cooperating fully with the police. We just want this terrible series of events to end.” “Where is Teo, by the way?” Vanessa asked as the anchors came back on and switched over to another story. “I just got a text from him that he’s up in his suite and wants to talk to me,” Gregor said, rising. “I’m sure he’s a wreck. I guess it’s goodnight, then,” he added, looking around, but his eyes rested on me. Everyone bade him goodnight, me (reluctantly) included. It sorely tempted me to go up after him. I wanted nothing more than to take him to my room and lie down on my bed with him and just stroke his hair and whisper to him I was so glad, so glad he was alive, and then fall asleep together. I wanted nothing more at all. Only the thought of Clara stopped me. Clara and her gift shop knife waiting for him outside my door the next morning. Vanessa signaled the one waitress still on duty. “I don’t know about you all,” she said, “but I think I need another drink if I want to get to sleep tonight. Anyone else?” Jack, Molly and Arne all declined, saying they were ready to head up. Jack gave me a little squeeze on the shoulder before he left. Then it was just Vanessa and me. The waitress set down two vodka tonics in front of us. Vanessa lifted her glass to mine. “Here’s to murder, I guess,” she said. “Or even better, not being murdered.” We sipped for a minute. Then Vanessa gave me a long look. “You feel like talking?” she asked. I sighed. “Is it that obvious?” She chuckled. “You look about how I did when I broke up with Gregor.” “I keep hoping it will get easier.” Vanessa nodded and flipped her hair off her shoulder. “He’s something else,” she said reminiscently. “He really knows how to flatter a girl, make her feel special.” “Is that all you think it is? Flattery?” I asked.
163
“You mean, is he sincere? Oh, no doubt. He’s a guy who just loves women. Probably comes from being raised by his mother.” She smirked at my expression. “I don’t mean anything Oedipal by that. I just mean, he learned how to talk to women, relate to them. A lot of men just have no fucking clue.” “True,” I agreed. “So why did you break up with him, if you don’t mind my asking? Since you seem to have it pretty bad for him,” she added. “Well, I guess I just figured we have no future,” I replied slowly. “He’s engaged, has been for some time, and it doesn’t look like he’s going to be un-engaged anytime soon.” I took a deep breath. “I think I was just a fling for him. Apparently not the first, and probably not the last.” Vanessa sipped her drink and seemed to consider my words. “I don’t know,” she said finally. “Just from the way he seems to be moping around, and the way he’s been looking at you, I don’t know if I would call it a fling.” I didn’t reply. “There’s another reason, isn’t there?” Vanessa asked. “It’s Clara, isn’t it? You think she’s responsible for all this?” I shrugged. “I would never say. That’s enough to get you killed these days. I just don’t want to take any chances.” “So you do still care about him.” I nodded. “Does he know the reason why you broke it off, then?” “I’m sure he suspects. It’s a moot point, really. I have to stay away from him, Vanessa. I care about him too much…” I drifted off. She understood. “Well, don’t lose heart,” she said cheerfully, finishing her drink. “If it’s meant to happen, it will work out. And if Clara’s really behind all this, she’s bound to screw up and get caught eventually. Whoever this person is, they are taking some really crazy-ass risks. And the police seem to have it together. They’ll catch the person soon. And if it’s Clara, you won’t have to worry about her anymore.” I nodded again. “And even if it’s not, I have a feeling Gregor will be ending things with her soon.”
164
“I have no idea, Vanessa,” I said with a shrug. “She’s got some kind of hold on him, for sure.” Vanessa tossed some bills onto the table and stood up. “Let’s go on up,” she said. “I have a feeling we all need some rest to deal with all the crap of the next few days.” 16. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep that night. I put on an innocuous movie, got into bed, and lay there with my eyes wide open. All of the day’s events kept turning over and over inside my head. Sheila, dead on the floor, looking so small in that enormous space. Teo, so full of grief and worry, wondering if anyone was safe. Jack’s strong warm hand on my shoulder when he left me at the bar. Gregor, sitting beside me in the chapel, asking if I knew how it would end. His eyes when he lit my cigarette for me on the way home from the restaurant. It should have been me. But why wasn’t it? If it was true what Houston had told Gregor, then Sheila knew who the criminal was. And she’d been conceited enough to let that fact be known to the guilty party. She wouldn’t be so smug if she knew I was watching her the whole time. What had Sheila said or done? Had she confronted the murderer and demanded money, or some other reward, for her silence? Or had she just threatened to notify the police, and gotten a knife in the chest for her troubles? It was a premeditated crime, the hidden knife proved that. So it was unlikely she’d confronted her accuser at the cathedral today. She must have said something to them earlier, after Gregor’s poisoning. Unless…unless the knife was intended for someone else. I thought this over. Perhaps it had been intended for Gregor. It was carefully hidden, carefully planned. At the right moment, the plan was to call Gregor over to some secluded part of the church. Mount a surprise attack, with no time for him to respond. Perhaps even inflict that “unkindest of cuts”, a stab in the back. Then, make a quick escape back to the others, and let someone else find the body. But then, before the plan could be carried out, Sheila opened her big yap, let the murderer know she was onto him or her. And instead of the surprise attack on
165
Gregor, Sheila was the one who got the knife. The blackout was just an added bonus, giving the murderer extra cover. I sighed. I wondered if the police would learn anything from Sheila’s autopsy, or the search of her room. Or if they would need to search everyone else’s room. Kind of late now, of course, since we were all back in them. I guess that explained the police patrolling the hallways. They would be able to see if anyone came out in the middle of the night trying to pitch any incriminating evidence. I was not satisfied with my theories. If this were a book, Clara would be the most obvious suspect, but she would not be the real murderer. The real murderer would be someone you least suspected…and then in the last chapter, when all was revealed, you would open your eyes wide and think in astonishment, “But I never suspected them!” But this wasn’t a book, and so if it wasn’t Clara, who could it be? Jack? I really didn’t think so. But I couldn’t count him out. He met all three of the criteria: he had motive, means and opportunity. Vanessa? Again, doubtful. But she met the criteria as well. Her motive for getting rid of Gregor was unknown, but I just couldn’t discount their history together. Houston? If it were Gregor laid out on a slab, then yes, I would say so. But would he really kill the woman he supposedly loved rather than get caught for the attempts on Gregor? I had to admit, it wouldn’t be the first time a man killed for such a reason. I couldn’t really include anyone besides those four as suspects. Teo I considered only briefly. Unless he was as good of an actor as he was a director, I couldn’t see him ever harming Gregor. My eyes were getting sleepy. Suddenly I jolted awake with a start. Something had entered my mind’s eye. Something…something that I remembered from the night Gregor was poisoned. I was nodding off again. But the images flashed through my head like the news clips on TV tonight. I was onstage again at the karaoke bar, belting out Janice Joplin. Through the haze of a hundred cigarettes and my own half-drunk stupor, I saw a hand reach out across the table where Gregor sat…a sleeve brush his glass. The hand picked up a pack of cigarettes and retreated back to its owner. My gaze traveled up the arm, to the shoulder- and I saw…a face…
166
I awoke to my cell phone buzzing incessantly. I opened one eye and looked at the clock on the nightstand. 7:43. Then I directed my one open eye at the phone. Jack. I groped for it and pressed the button. “Uh…hello?” “They found a necklace in Sheila’s room. A ruby choker.” Jack was speaking like a telegraph. “They’ve arrested Clara. They just put her in the cop car. Quick, turn on your TV.” I looked at the screen, which was still playing the movie I’d put on last night, apparently on Repeat. I switched over to the BBC channel. There, as Jack had predicted, was an unmarked black sedan parked in front of the hotel, police all around it, a swarm of reporters closing in. “Oh, my God,” I said. “I’m watching from my room right now,” Jack reported. “I may not have a great view of the Neva, but it’s an awesome view of the street.” On TV, I could see the car slowly start to pull away, as reporters moved out of its path. “They found Clara’s necklace in Sheila’s room?” I asked slowly, trying to wrap my sleep-fogged brain around this. “Yeah. That ruby one she was wearing at the karaoke bar.” “So Sheila was blackmailing her,” I whispered. “Yeah. At least, that would make sense.” I watched onscreen as another car pulled up in front of the hotel. This time, a tall older man in a dark suit got in. “Who’s that?” I asked. “Her lawyer. I saw him the other day with her. He’s staying here at the hotel.” A third car pulled up. This time, it was Gregor who came out of the hotel and got in. I couldn’t see his face well. He was wearing sunglasses, and I could tell his jaw was set. “Dylan just called me and told me everything,” Jack said softly, mindful of my feelings at seeing Gregor leave to go after Clara. “He had a room near her suite. About seven-thirty this morning, he heard the police bang on her door. They went in for a couple of minutes, and then they led her out- not in cuffs or anything. So maybe she technically hasn’t been arrested, just going in for questioning again.” “The other time they just let her come in on her own,” I remembered. “So this must be more serious. How was Clara acting?” “She was near hysterical, Dylan said. Gregor came out of her suite with her. He was trying to calm her down.”
167
“Oh.” He’d been in her suite at seven-thirty in the morning. So now I knew where he’d gone last night for comfort when I wasn’t available. What exactly did I expect? And it was also clear that he still cared for her enough to go down to the station to be with her. It shouldn’t have surprised me, but it hurt nonetheless. “Did Dylan hear them saying anything?” I asked, trying to refocus. “No. He said Clara was pretty incoherent, saying something like, ‘It must have been stolen,’ but Gregor was trying to shut her up.” “How did Dylan know they were talking about the necklace?” I asked. “He overheard the lawyer talking to Gregor about it when they passed by Dylan’s room on their way downstairs. It’s pretty damning evidence, especially after they found the pills on her before.” The car carrying Gregor pulled away, not quite as slowly as the other two cars had. Several reporters had to jump out of the way to avoid getting hit. I’m sure it would have made Gregor very happy to take out a couple of them. Jack was saying something. “What?” I asked. “I said, do you want me to bring you coffee?” I felt bad. He was trying so hard. A lot of other guys would have given up a long time ago. “No, thanks, Jack. I’ll catch you later, okay?” I hung up and put the pillow over my head. I wanted to turn off the TV, but I was also drawn to it like an addict to heroin. “We can now confirm that it was indeed Clara Lloyton, the countess, and fiancée of Gregor McKeon, who got into that police car,” the voice-over was saying, as the footage of Clara getting into the car was replayed over and over. She was wearing regular clothes (I was secretly hoping she’d be wearing those ridiculous pajamas) and her face was mostly hidden by big wraparound sunglasses. She wasn’t cuffed. “Sources have also confirmed that Miss Lloyton’s room is being searched. It is unknown what evidence the police have found to necessitate her coming down to the station. It is also unclear whether Miss Lloyton has been arrested or is just wanted for further questioning.” Now they were showing the footage of Gregor getting in his car. “And there you see again, Gregor McKeon, himself the victim of two incidents which were originally called accidents, but which are now being re-examined in light of the tragic death yesterday of Sheila Halliday. He appears to be following Miss Lloyton to the police station.” They cut away to the
168
reporter, an older woman with an appropriately scandalized expression on her face. “And what role does the mysterious screenwriter, Elise Connelly, play in all this?” she intoned, hardly able to disguise her glee at being able to relay such a sensational story. “You may recall that Mr. McKeon was seen in Ms. Connelly’s company in the days leading up to the first accident, and it is reported that she, and not the countess, stayed with him at the hospital after his overdose four days ago…” I clicked off the television. “Ugh,” I said aloud. “I never wanted to be famous for this, that’s for sure.” I didn’t want to leave the room. Why bother, when everything I needed was either here or could be brought to me? But then Teo called, sounding exhausted and yet a little relieved. He asked me to meet him in the hotel restaurant for coffee. Half an hour later, we were seated across from each other in a corner of the restaurant. It was nearly deserted; I supposed everyone else was still asleep or hiding in their rooms from the press. “We may be getting to the bottom of this, little one,” he said. I stirred my coffee. “You think so?” “Did you not see on the news? And I have information that leads me to believe they may have enough to hold her this time.” “The necklace?” I asked. Teo sounded disappointed. “Who told you?” “Jack heard it from Dylan Briggs, whose room is down the hall from Clara’s.” “It was well hidden in Sheila’s room, the detective told me. He was not supposed to tell me anything, of course, but he has been keeping me in his confidence, giving me bits here and there. He wouldn’t say exactly where it was hidden, but it clearly belongs to Clara. We all saw her in it the other night. It was most likely custom made for her, and could be easily identified by the jeweler who made it, or her companions.” He looked away for a minute. “Or by Mac, if it was a gift from him.” “Which seems like a dumb thing to give as payoff for blackmail,” I pointed out. “Wouldn’t they both realize that if Sheila ever turned up wearing it in public, it would be traced back to Clara?”
169
“Oh, so easy to get the stones re-set in a year or two’s time, when everything’s died down, no? And personally, I do not think Sheila wanted it to wear. It was more the idea of it, of taking something that meant a lot to Clara. Sheila, as you’ve probably heard by now, was not the nicest person in the world. She had a definite mean streak.” “Well, it was stupid of her, to blackmail Clara,” I said. “It got her killed.” “Yes, yes, but she probably never thought Clara would be so bold as to kill her so soon, and in the middle of a crowd of people.” Teo’s voice was full of what can only be described as admiration. “She’s a monster, that one. I am glad, actually, that you ended things with Mac when you did. I do not think she would have hesitated to kill him, or you either, for that matter.” I thought it over. “Maybe,” I said. The fleeting half-dream from the night before was coming back to me. “Teo,” I said. “Did anyone at the table besides Vanessa and Gregor smoke the night Gregor was poisoned? I mean, someone who maybe doesn’t ordinarily.” Teo registered surprise at the question. “Well, let me see. I have a cigar on occasion, but I didn’t that night. Vanessa and Gregor, of course, and I think Sheila and Houston may have indulged with them. I didn’t notice Jack lighting up. Why do you ask?” I nodded. His words confirmed the picture I held in my mind’s eye. “No reason,” I replied casually. “Anyway, so Gregor went down to the station with her,” I added, shifting the conversation. “I guess he’s the only one who doesn’t think she’s guilty.” “I doubt that. I think it was more out of a sense of duty than anything else.” “What are you going to do now, Teo?” He set his jaw resignedly. “I do not know, little one. I have been up all night trying to figure out what to do. As much as it breaks my heart, it is clear that the movie cannot go on.” “I know.” “I do not wish to abandon it completely. It has been my life for over a year now. I think it is a wonderful movie and it should be made. But I do not know if I, or anyone else in the cast or crew, has the heart for it now.” I put down my cup. “You don’t have to decide that now,” I said. “Nobody does.” “Yes, this is true. But I do think it is time to leave St. Petersburg. Alas, what a lovely city, and now it holds only bad memories for us all.” Teo nodded as the waitress came by with more coffee. “I know,” I said.
170
“I do not know what the plans are for Sheila’s memorial. I spoke to her mother again this morning and she said they will probably fly here tomorrow to take her home.” He winced with sadness. “I imagine it will be a private funeral. But perhaps we can have a memorial of our own, of sorts.” “That would be nice,” I said. “Houston, he is holding up, I suppose. His wife should be getting here soon. He was just leaving to pick her up from the airport when I was coming down here to meet you.” My ears pricked up. “Airport?” “Yes. He was driving himself, he said. He rented a car.” I stood up then. “Teo,” I said, “this may sound crazy, but we need the police to follow him into the airport.” Teo looked at me in surprise. “Why?” he asked. “He is only going to meet his wife.” I started talking so fast, the words were jumbled together. “It all fits, Teo. It all fits now. The accident with the rocks- Gregor got hurt, but not killed. The poisoned drink- Gregor’s own pills in it. Again, Gregor was hurt, but he recovered. And then, at the church, who got killed? Not Gregor- but Sheila!” Teo’s eyes were very wide. “You think…” “It was Sheila who was supposed to be killed, all along! The only reason Gregor was injured was to make it look like someone was trying to murder him. Then, when Sheila turned up dead, it would be naturally assumed it was because she’d been blackmailing the killer- not because she was the intended victim the whole time.” I couldn’t stop the words now; they tumbled out purely by their own volition. “Whose word do we have that Sheila knew who the killer was? Only Houston’s! Houston, whose wife was ready to divorce him and sue him for every cent he had, because of Sheila. If Sheila was out of the picture, then what- he could go back to his wife, and more importantly perhaps, keep his money!” Teo was already on his feet and heading out of the restaurant towards the lobby. There were three policemen there, and they eyed us in some surprise as we both told them, with lots of hand gestures to get our point across, that they needed to have Houston Mill followed to the airport.
171
“No one from the hotel has been allowed to take their passport,” one of the policemen told Teo. “If he’s planned ahead,” I said, “he’s already had a fake one made.” “Unless we can find him right away at the airport, we’ll have to hold all flights until we find the one he’s trying to get on,” another one said. “You better be right about this.” We got into the car with one of them and the other two took another car. Sirens blaring, lights flashing, we tore through the streets of St. Petersburg, headed for Pulkovo airport on the outskirts of town. Teo was dazed, but the more he thought about it, the more he began to agree with me. “So you think he didn’t intend to kill Mac at all?” he asked. “I don’t think so,” I said. “I think Gregor was the perfect victim because of Clara- she was the perfect murderess! Cold-blooded, stuck-up, no one liked her. The rocks were easyHouston could have done those anytime that morning when everyone else was filming the street scene. He didn’t know for sure how badly Gregor would be hurt, but he figured rocks from high up, at least they might knock him down and look suspicious. “And then once he knew that Gregor was on Percocet for his head injury, he knew exactly how to arrange the second attempt. Clara would be the obvious suspect because of all the press about Gregor and me. Even if it was assumed the rock thing was an accident, after the poisoning, there was no way there could be two accidents!” “So he got hold of his own Percocet- it’s not hard to come by. He could have had a prescription some time back. And he dropped it in Gregor’s glass that night. He may have known already that Clara had Gregor’s medicine in her handbag. He probably looked in it himself to be sure. Then he had to seal the deal- it was Sheila’s turn.” “So he bought the knife and waited for the perfect opportunity,” Teo continued my narrative excitedly. “It had to be someplace where Clara and Sheila both were, no? And you know, I overheard Sheila telling him the night before that Clara was coming to the filming the next day. So he knew he had the whole day- all he had to do was find the right time.” “And when the lights went out, he knew he had to act then,” I added. “Poor Sheila. He probably tricked her into thinking they were going to have a little rendezvous in the dark, behind the iconoclast.” I shivered a little. “It is monstrous,” Teo agreed. “I only hope we are not too late!”
172
Our policeman driver was radioing back and forth with the other car, and it seemed that the airport was indeed going to be able to hold all the outgoing flights until we tracked down Houston. “He may be wearing a disguise,” I said. “He had access to all those costumes from the movie, remember.” We pulled up in front of the airport terminal and jumped out. The three of us ran inside. The other two policemen were already there. Then more police cars pulled up and more cops jumped out. Inside, we all stood for a moment staring up at the big board. “There’s forty-five departures scheduled for the next fifteen minutes,” I groaned as my eyes scanned the screens. “I think they can handle it, no?” Teo said as the cops all started taking off in different directions. We followed ours through security (I have no idea why the screeners let us through; I guess because we were with the cops) and through the bustling airport, which was now more than a little noisy as travelers took in the sight of policemen running in every direction. A few people screamed, and I saw some airport workers trying to calm them down. Teo and I were running now, which was a little hard on him, but he actually seemed to be enjoying himself, like he was the star of his own movie, in the midst of a very important action scene. I myself have run through several airports trying to catch a flight, but this was definitely more exciting than that. We ran past gates, slowing down at each to scan the faces for someone tall and wearing clothes from the movie. Suddenly, Teo pointed. “There he is!” he exclaimed. At the gate of a flight bound for Brazil, we saw him. Tall, dressed in jeans and a leather jacket, baseball cap covering what looked to be a black wig. He had a matching black moustache. I supposed he’d pinched it from one of the Kazakh henchmen’s costumes. The policeman with us was on him in seconds. Teo and an airline worker helped. His hat came off, and the wig with it. And then he was just a handsome, surly-looking actor with a silly-looking moustache. “You!” Teo said as another policeman arrived and they slapped cuffs on him. “And to think I actually considered you for the part of Max Milken! You, Houston Mill, are one pathetic actor.”
173
17. “So how did you figure it all out?” Jack asked me. We were sitting on the beach in southern Spain. Teo, as a reward to all of us for our troubles, had booked an entire resort for the cast and crew. We were all staying in our own oceanside cottages overlooking the Mediterranean. It was a wonderful way to unwind and relax after such a stressful time. I was on my towel, holding court with Molly, Arne, Dylan, Mike, Vanessa, and Jack. We’d arrived from St. Petersburg late last night, so now they were all eager to hear the whole story of how I unraveled the Mystery of the Mistaken Murder. “There wasn’t much to go on,” I admitted. “The thing that got me started was remembering something when I was onstage singing karaoke the night Gregor was poisoned. I had a perfect view of their table. While everyone was looking at the stage, I actually saw him reach over Gregor’s drink to get some cigarettes. At the time, and even afterwards, it didn’t occur to me that that was when he slipped the pills in- they must have been, literally, up his sleeve. Since his intention was not to kill, but only make it look like someone was trying to kill, Gregor, a couple of pills would have done the trick, mixed with the alcohol. He may even have known that Clara had the same pills in her purse.” “But what if he had been seen?” Molly wondered. “He was willing to take that chance. He had already gotten away with the rocks- no one had noticed him moving them. He probably went late the night before when the crew was setting up, or the next morning.” “He seemed to be getting bolder,” Arne pointed out, rubbing sunscreen onto Molly’s back. “Textbook sociopath. As they get away with more crimes, they take greater and greater risks.” “But why kill Sheila?” Dylan asked. “He may already have been growing tired of her. When they got together, he probably never suspected his wife would react the way she did- she’d always forgiven him before. But this time, apparently, she was ready to divorce him over it- and sue him for adultery.” I reached for my water bottle. “He was in a bind, for sure. No doubt he tried to break up with Sheila, but she probably scoffed at his situation, not taking Katie’s threats seriously.”
174
“And Clara was- totally innocent?” Vanessa asked, taking out her cigarettes. She sounded disappointed. “What about her necklace being hidden in Sheila’s room?” “Houston must have gotten in Clara’s suite somehow and stolen it- copied her key, or asked the concierge for another one. I happen to know it’s not hard to get the front desk to give you another key,” I added, thinking of the night Gregor had let himself into my room. “If you’re famous enough, you get away with a lot. Easiest thing in the world to plant the necklace in Sheila’s room the morning of her murder.” “Did Houston break down when he got caught?” Molly asked. “The news stories didn’t say much about how he reacted.” I smiled at the memory of Houston in his bad disguise. “No, he didn’t say anything. He just let them lead him away. I think they even read him his rights- I’m not sure if they were anything like the Miranda rights, but they sounded similar.” I rubbed sunscreen on my own arms. “From what I’ve heard, for now they’re holding him on the faked passport and attempting to leave the country without police permission, after they had told us all to stay while the investigation was going on. This should give them enough time to gather the rest of the evidence. Teo told me that Houston’s costume he’d worn the day of Sheila’s murder was missing from Wardrobe, and the cops found it in a Dumpster a couple blocks from the hotel. There was a little brown smudge on the sleeve of the shirt. If it’s Sheila’s blood, even that tiny bit should be enough to connect him to her death. That’s the most important thing- that he gets punished for her murder.” “Other than that blood, I wonder if they’ll find anything else,” Dylan commented. “Unless the person working at the gift shop remembers he bought a knife there, or some other eyewitness comes forward.” “The blood should be enough,” Arne said. “Especially since Gregor and Elise and I can testify that we never saw him touch Sheila’s body afterwards. With the circumstantial evidence, plus the fact that he tried to escape- well, I don’t know how the Russian legal system works, but in most countries, it would be enough.” “He almost got away with it,” Jack remarked, giving me an admiring look. “If it weren’t for you, Elise, he would be in Brazil right now with a faked identity, and there’s a decent chance he’d have gotten away with everything.”
175
“Teo helped, too,” I added modestly. “He was more bent on solving the mystery than I was.” We were all quiet for a minute, gazing out at the sea. It was so peaceful, lapping gently against the sand, that it made everything we were talking about seem impossible, fantastic even. “Did Gregor get in yet?” Dylan asked, looking around at all of us. “I think he and Clara were flying in today,” Arne replied. “She was only just released last night.” “I’m sure she suffered horribly during her twelve hours in police custody,” Vanessa said snidely. I scooped a handful of sand and let it escape between my fingers. I didn’t want to add to this conversation. Needless to say, I was having some very mixed emotions about the prospect of seeing Gregor again, now that I knew Clara was innocent. “Well, she’ll recover here,” Molly said, leaning back on her towel and shutting her eyes. “This is the most relaxing place I think I’ve ever been.” We spent the rest of the afternoon either reading, sleeping or swimming in the warm, tranquil water. Jack and I went down to the sea together. “You may consider quitting your day job and becoming a full-time detective,” he teased, splashing me a little. “The NYPD could use your crime-fighting skills.” I swam out into the water, concentrating on not running into any sharks. “I may not have a day job anyway,” I said. “I doubt this movie will ever get made.” Jack backstroked away from me. “And there goes my budding career as a stills photographer,” he added. “Looks like you and me would be better off backpacking around Europe for a few months than going back to New York right now.” I didn’t respond. Jack swam back over to me. His wet hair stood out in ringlets. He looked at me with earnest brown eyes. “You didn’t say no right away,” he said, unable to hide the note of excitement in his voice. “True,” I replied. “I didn’t.” “So that means…” “I’ll think about it, okay?” A broad grin crossed his face. “Okay. And I won’t bug you, I promise.”
176
“I’ll hold you to that.” I splashed him back. Later that night, as we were sitting at one of the resort restaurants, enjoying a very excellent dinner of fresh seafood and local wine, Teo came over to us. He’d been missing most of the day, probably sleeping, I guessed. “Are you all having a good time?” he asked, spreading his hands out. “It is a wonderful resort, no?” We all nodded. “Perfect,” I said. Teo’s eyes rested on me for a minute. “We are going to have a conference call with the studio heads in the morning, to try and decide what to do about the movie,” he told all of us. “You know, I really still want to make this film. What do you all think?” It was unanimous; we all did too. “I will see what I can do,” Teo replied. “Please join us, Teo,” Vanessa said, pulling out a chair beside her. “Thanks, I will.” He sat down. “And if I’m not mistaken, our star has returned.” He nodded over at the entrance of the restaurant. Gregor, impeccably attired in a light blue polo shirt and khaki pants, was walking in with Clara. He looked over at us and waved. Then they walked over to our table. None of us had seen either of them since Clara’s arrest yesterday morning. “Mind if we join you?” he asked somewhat hesitantly. His eyes swept over to me. I stared fixedly down at the table. “Of course not,” Arne said. Teo rose and embraced Gregor warmly, and kissed Clara. “Glad you can join us,” he said heartily. I knew even though Clara was not his favorite person, he would never show impoliteness. “I hope you have rested well after your flight?” Gregor dropped into the chair next to him. “Yes, thanks,” he said. I knew he probably didn’t want to have to talk about Clara’s arrest. Clara, for her part, looked like her time at the police station had done her some good. She wasn’t looking down her nose at the rest of us quite as haughtily as before. The waiter brought more plates and silverware, and we passed the three newcomers wine and platters of food.
177
Clara was trying hard to arrange her face in a pleasant expression. “This is delicious,” she said, looking at me. Her eyes held mine for a minute. “It is,” I agreed. Gregor lifted his newly filled glass. “A toast,” he declared. “To Elise, and Teo, the great detectives! Without whom we would all still be locked in our hotel rooms in St. Petersburg, worrying about a killer among us.” I dropped my eyes, avoiding his, as everyone else cheered. After dinner, we strolled along the path leading back to our rooms. Clara fell in step beside me. “I want to apologize to you, Elise,” she said abruptly. I stopped and stared at her for a minute. She looked away, clearly uncomfortable; I sensed she was not used to saying those words. “It’s okay,” I said finally. “I owe you, for helping them catch Houston.” “They would have found him eventually.” “Still.” She took a deep breath. “I was- unkind to you.” I nodded. I wasn’t about to forget her words to me that night outside my hotel room. But I was not in a vindictive mood. “You were upset,” I said. She started walking again. “It was- upsetting for all of us,” she replied. “And I’m sorry I said those things to you.” I fell in step with her. I really didn’t know how to respond. I didn’t expect her to elaborate. After all, here she and Gregor were, still together. So she must have been right about what she said. That he and I would never be. “He’s a great guy,” I finally replied. It was hard to say that without choking up. She looked at me, then nodded. “I know.” I awoke early the next morning and decided to go for a walk on the beach. It was cool along the water, the sun just starting to cast golden ripples along the waves. I walked along, not really thinking about much, just trying to enjoy the sensations of the sun on my back and the fresh air blowing against my skin. There were a few other people out, but one figure alone by the water got my attention. I hesitated, then walked down to join him.
178
Gregor was standing there, staring out at the sea. He didn’t turn when I came up to him. “Lovely morning,” he commented. “It is,” I agreed. We both stood quietly for a moment. The breeze picked up and lifted my hair off my shoulders, blowing it around my face. It rippled the thin t-shirt Gregor wore. “Do you remember the night we met?” Gregor asked. “I told you about the fishing village I used to spend my summers in.” I nodded. “I remember.” “That’s it,” Gregor said, nodding over at the cliff jutting off to our left. The resort itself was in a valley, but just up from it was a group of little houses and buildings, all pinks and yellows, the sun bouncing off the terra cotta roofs. “I have a feeling that Teo knows this,” Gregor continued, turning back to me, “but I don’t remember if I ever told him the name of the village.” I was puzzled. “That’s weird.” Gregor nodded. “I know.” I paused. “I always have had a feeling about him,” I said. “Like he has a deep connection with you.” Gregor nodded again. Then he gave me a quick smile. “You look better than I’ve seen you in a while,” he said. “The sea air must agree with you.” I tried not to sound pleased. “I think we all feel a lot better now.” “Yes, that’s true.” “Clara apologized to me last night,” I said in a rush. I didn’t know exactly why I was telling him this. Why was I trying to redeem her in his eyes? “For being unkind. About you.” His face was inscrutable. “That’s a first. She’s no good at acting sorry. I suppose because she almost never is.” He stared back out at the water for a minute. “You never told me exactly what she said to you while I was in the hospital,” he added. I watched as a fishing boat, far out from shore, bobbed on the water. You could just make out the tiny figures of the men casting their nets over the sides. “She said that you had cheated on her a bunch of times but you always came back to her, so basically I was dreaming if I expected everything different this time,” I said slowly. I didn’t want to look at his face. “Oh, I see,” he replied. “What else?”
179
It was hard to get the words out. “She said that she would hate it if another- as she put it‘accident’ happened to you.” This time, he could not keep the anger out of his voice. “Did she really say that?” he asked, almost choking. I nodded. He shook his head slowly. “That’s low, even for her,” he said almost wonderingly. “She must have been really desperate.” I didn’t quite know how to respond to that. Gregor rubbed his chin. Then he said, his blue eyes piercing mine, “So you broke up with me because you thought she was going to kill me if you didn’t.” “That was part of it, yes,” I admitted. “I didn’t feel I had much choice.” Visibly trying to control himself, he continued, “But now we know that Clara’s not the murderer. At least, we think so. But you still don’t want this- us, I mean.” “I don’t know, Gregor,” I replied honestly. “You think you’re just another distraction that I’ll tire of presently.” I didn’t answer. I just bit my lip and watched the fishermen. “Are you going to get back together with Jack?” he asked. His tone was light, but I saw a tightening in his jaw. “I haven’t decided,” I replied. “So he’s asked you.” I looked down at my bare feet. “Yes.” Gregor smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “He’s a good fellow,” he said. “He treats you well.” My breath caught in my throat as I thought of all the things I wanted to say. But he’s not you, my heart cried. Jack wasn’t Gregor. He wasn’t dashingly handsome, or witty, or could melt you with a look. But he also didn’t cheat on his girlfriends, or drink too much, or start bar fights. And he wasn’t engaged to another woman. I didn’t reply. Gregor sighed, and turned away from the water. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s go on back now.” It was a weird day. Despite the relaxing surroundings, I felt miserable and jumpy. Some of the group left on a tour of a nearby winery, but I decided to stay in my cottage. I sat in
180
the front room and tried to read. The sheer white curtains at the window blowing in the breeze reminded me of the first night I slept with Gregor, back in Pest. I tossed the book on the floor in annoyance. I went out to the long patio that stretched the length of the group of cottages. It was on a terrace overlooking the sea. I sat in a lounge chair and watched as clouds scudded in over the horizon. It was looking like it might rain later on. Teo came walking by with Vanessa, deep in conversation. He saw me and smiled broadly. “Good news, little one,” he said, dropping down into the chair beside me. “The studio has decided to allow us to continue with the film.” I looked from him to Vanessa. “How will we do it?” I asked. “There are a few possibilities. Of course, we would have to discuss it with the rest of the cast, and Sheila’s family as well. One way would be to write her death into the script. It would change the entire plot, of course. Houston, of course, would also disappear. It could become the story of Max’s quest to avenge the woman he loved. Houston’s character, of course, would be the murderer.” “Hm.” I considered this. It sounded a little too close to real life. “What would be another possibility?” “We recast the roles of Sheila and Houston, and re-shoot the entire movie.” I nodded. “Any other ideas?” “This one was Vanessa’s,” Teo said. “We make a movie- about the making of this movie.” They must have seen my confusion. “What?” I asked. “Just what we said. You write the script. It’s a true story- the story of what happened here, these past few weeks. Gregor can play himself. Everyone else- well, let’s just say most of my crew members are better off being crew members than actors, no? They can have a say in who plays them, though.” I thought it over. “Hm. Not bad,” I told Vanessa. She smiled modestly. “Well, think it over,” Teo said, getting to his feet. “We’ll have a big meeting tomorrow to discuss it. Don’t say anything to anyone else, all right?” “Sure, sure.”
181
After they had gone, I closed my eyes and thought over what Teo had said. It was an intriguing idea, Vanessa’s. The events of the past few weeks had certainly seemed as complicated as a movie script. I wasn’t sure I was interested in writing my part in it, though. Especially since I still had no idea how it was going to end. I joined the usual group for dinner. Gregor and Clara were conspicuously absent. I was preoccupied and didn’t eat much. After dinner, Jack asked if I wanted to go for a walk along the beach. “It looks like it’s about to rain,” I said. “Probably not such a good idea.” We sat on the covered patio of the restaurant and played poker instead. Dylan, an avid player, had brought his own cards and chips. It was a pleasant distraction. After a while, though, I looked up and noticed Gregor coming into the restaurant by himself. The contented feeling suddenly vanished. I felt a bad taste in my mouth. Gregor glanced over at us and waved. I avoided looking at him. The realization hit me then that no matter what version of the movie got made, it wouldn’t matter. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t spend one more minute near him. A stabbing pain seared through my chest as I got up from the table. I mumbled something about not feeling well and practically ran out of the restaurant. On the beach, the water was churning, the wind was blowing, and the dark clouds were pressing in on all sides. The tears were pouring down my cheeks, but the wind dried them quickly. I walked closer to the water. It came up over my feet, and then my ankles, and then my calves. I didn’t care. I wanted it to swallow me up, carry me away. I thought of the line from the poem I’d quoted to Gregor: Oed’ und leer das Meer. Empty and waste the sea to Tristan, waiting, waiting and dying for Isolde. I was waiting. Waiting for something that would never happen. Waiting until I died. I don’t know how long I stood out there, listening to the thunder and the wind, seeing the lightning spread across the sky, feeling the cold rain pelt my skin and soak me through. After a while, though, I noticed that the rumbling had retreated into the distance and the rain had slowed to a drizzle. I realized then that I was shivering, and completely drenched. I heard a voice then, carrying across the sand to me, “Elise! Elise!”
182
Had I imagined it? Was Isolde indeed coming back after all? And not from the sea, either. I turned to see Gregor coming towards me. I couldn’t see his face at first, it was so dark, but then as he drew closer I saw he looked almost frantic. “Were you out here this whole time, in this storm?” he asked, stopping just short of embracing me. “Elise, you could have been killed by lightning!” I shrugged and turned away from him, towards the sky and the sea. “What does it matter?” I mumbled. Gregor put his hands on my shoulders and turned me back around. “It matters to me,” he said. He really sounded upset. “Look at you, you’re totally soaked, and you’re shivering. Come on, come inside.” I clasped my arms around myself. “I-I don’t want to,” I said, but my teeth were chattering. Gregor took his hand off my shoulder and tenderly brushed some of the wet hair off my cheek. “Am I flattering myself to think that this Ophelia imitation had something to do with me?” he asked. I shrugged. Gregor sighed and took off his jacket, placing it gently around me. “If it helps at all,” he said softly, “Clara is gone.” A few more drops of rain fell. But the clouds were slowly drifting off to the north, leaving a black sky shimmering with stars in their wake. “What do you mean, g-gone?” I asked, pulling his jacket around my shoulders. “I confronted her about what you told me,” Gregor said slowly, looking up at the stars before turning back to me. “She didn’t try to deny it. She said that she was sorry, which was obviously too little and too late. I told her it was over.” “You did?” I asked, trying to keep the excitement from my voice. “Yes. And you know, she tried to turn it around on me. Tried to tell me that she’d been thinking for a while now that it wasn’t going to work out for us, and she was getting tired of hanging around movie sets, and she had so many other male prospects that she really wasn’t even sure what she was going to do with them all. I let her believe that. I have no ego as far as that sort of crap is concerned.” He sounded, for the first time tonight, amused.
183
I thought this over for a minute. “And she left?” I asked, still in disbelief. “She’s catching a flight to London tonight.” I looked up at him, his eyes luminous in the reflection off the water. “Are you okay?” I asked. “With all that.” Gregor rubbed some sand off my nose. “With ‘all that,’ as you say, yes,” he replied. “What I am not okay with is you not being part of my life.” I didn’t reply. I knew I couldn’t say anything intelligent at that point, partly because I was so cold, and partly because his nearness was making me woozy. He slipped his arms under the jacket and around me, pressing me close to him, warming me with his magnetic radiance, his aura, his whatever-you-want-to-call-it that made my skin sizzle just being against his. He would have made one hell of a superhero. He could melt glaciers with one finger. “You haven’t answered me, Elise.” It was my turn. I tilted my head back, looking up at him. “I don’t remember the question,” I said, and then my lips were on his. The last clouds finally scurried away, revealing the full depth and breadth of the summer sky. The stars hung so low, you could almost pick them. Tonight, however, I didn’t need their help. Everything I could have wished for was right in front of me. The next morning, I awoke in Gregor’s arms, very early. I suppose I was too keyed up to sleep any more, so I slipped out of bed and went over to the window of his cottage. It was a beautiful, clear morning. I ordered coffee and pastries and sat outside on the patio, enjoying the cool air and my own memories of the night before. Gregor came out in his t-shirt and shorts, looking deliciously rumpled. “You were so quiet, I didn’t know you’d wakened,” he said, kissing me on the forehead and sitting down next to me. “God, what a lovely morning.” I poured him some coffee from the pot. “Thanks,” he said. “No, nothing in it.” He smiled suddenly. “Pretty soon I won’t even have to tell you that.” I liked the sound of that. “I’m the opposite, I guess. I like a little coffee with my cream.” “So Teo’s calling a meeting today,” Gregor said. “Guess he’s telling us how things went with the studio heads yesterday. What’s your sense of what’s going to happen with the film?”
184
Loyal to Teo, I just shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t know much about the industry. Seems to me they’d at least want to get a return on what they’ve invested so far.” Gregor rubbed his chin. “It would be awfully hard to do all over again, I mean, logistically speaking. It would feel strange too, with Sheila and Houston out of it. But I’ll do whatever he wants me to. I owe him at least that.” As if he’d heard his name mentioned, Teo came strolling along just then. He beamed at seeing the two of us together. “Beautiful morning, no?” he commented, taking a seat with us at the table. “Coffee?” I asked, glad there were extra cups. “Yes, yes.” We sipped for a minute. Then Teo said, with a sly glance at me, “I noticed Clara getting into a hired car last evening.” “Yes,” Gregor said, with a sigh that showed he was expecting the inevitable questions. “She’s flying back to London. We’re through.” “Oh, I see,” Teo said. “Well, I never found her to be your type, if you forgive me for saying so, Mac.” Gregor threw his head back and laughed. “You are never one to hide your feelings, are you, Teo? Well, I suppose you’re right. And who exactly is my type, should I ask?” He winked at me. Teo nodded. “Sitting right here next to us.” Gregor suddenly grew serious. “Teo, ever since we got to the resort, I’ve had the strangest feeling about that village up there.” He pointed to the little cluster of buildings he had spoken to me about yesterday. “I’m pretty sure it’s the village I used to come to with my mum, when I was a boy. I’m not positive, though. It’s been nearly thirty years since I’ve been there.” Teo didn’t answer at first. He looked up at the hill and nodded slowly. “Yes,” he said after a minute. “It is Sagaval.” “What a strange coincidence.” Gregor stared at him. Teo gave a little sigh. “It’s not a coincidence. I, too, know the village. In fact, I grew up there.” Both Gregor and I looked at Teo, shocked. “Really?” Gregor said at last. “I know I’ve spoken of it to you before. You never told me that.”
185
Teo pushed his cup away and stroked his beard. “A long time ago,” he said softly, “nearly forty years ago, I was a young man living in a small village with few prospects. My father was a fisherman, as was his father before him. It was understood that I would follow them into the sea. I grew up on boats. I went to school, yes, but I knew I had little choice in what I would do after I was done.” Gregor and I leaned in. “Then, one summer, I went to London on holiday, thanks to a wealthy uncle who wanted to show me something of the world. He took me to see a play in the West End. I got interested in theatre as soon as I saw that first play. A whole new world had opened up for me.” Teo’s eyes shone at the memory, and I could easily imagine him as that bright-faced twenty-year-old. “Somehow, I was able to convince my family to let me stay in London and take a theatre course. My uncle contributed to my income, and I was able to rent a small flat with a couple of other struggling actors. Well, it didn’t take me long to realize that I was a horrible actor. I was much more interested in the creation of the play- how it all came together. So I switched my interest to directing.” “My roommates, however, were actors. One of them was quite good. He was starting to turn heads in the smaller theatres, getting better roles. He was only a year or two older than I, but much more handsome and charming. He was very popular with the ladies too. In fact, he had everything going for him. Except for one problem- he drank quite a bit. When he drank too much, he would get belligerent. He was often in fights at pubs.” I saw Gregor shift in his chair, and I felt my own breath catch a little. Surely it couldn’t be- there was no way“He was brilliant, though, and he was winning critics and audiences. During this time, I even was able to assistant direct one of his plays. He was difficult to work with at times, when he’d come in drunk or pass out backstage. Some theatres wouldn’t hire him.” Teo was staring straight at Gregor. “He started seeing one young woman in particular, a lovely lady who was the sweetest person I’ve ever met. She tried to get him to stop drinking, and though he wanted to, he couldn’t. They moved into their own flat together, but it was worse, because he’d come home drunk and hit her sometimes. I’d see her the next day with a black eye, a bruised cheek. He was always terribly sorry afterwards, of course, but a few days or weeks later, he’d do it again.”
186
“Finally, one day, when he was out on a bender, she came to see me. She confided everything in me. She told me she was pregnant, and that she knew for her safety and the baby’s safety, that she had to get away from him. We decided that she could go stay with my family in Sagaval. She didn’t want to tell him in person, of course, so she wrote him a note and left it on his bedside table one morning. She didn’t want to tell him about the baby, and I thought that was the right thing to do- it would only make matters worse. It was agreed that I would check in on him later that day to make sure he was all right after receiving her news.” Teo took a deep breath. “When I went by the flat later, he was drunker than I’ve ever seen, and in a rage. I tried to calm him down and sober him up, but he would not have it. He railed against me, against her, against all the world for taking her away from him.” His voice trembled. “I thought I was able to console him somewhat. I left him that night promising to come by again in the morning.” Teo shook his head sorrowfully. “It was the last time I saw him alive. Sometime that night, he hanged himself.” His words barely came out in a whisper. Gregor was gripping the arms of his chair so tightly that his knuckles were white. “No, no, no,” he whispered. “Oh, it was terrible, terrible. I found him- the next day. I blamed myself, of course.” Teo’s eyes were full of tears. “If only I hadn’t left him alone…if only…” His voice trailed off, and he looked away from us. “I have carried that pain with me for forty years.” Gregor exhaled deeply, slumping in his chair. He couldn’t speak for a minute. “And- my mother?” he managed finally. “I traveled to Sagaval to see her immediately and told her in person. She was devastated, of course, but she accepted it. She had already resigned herself to raising their child alone.” Teo tried to smile. “And I have to say, she has done a very good job of it.” Gregor put his hands over his eyes for a minute. When he finally looked at Teo again, he said, “So my father- he never knew about me.” Teo shook his head. “I don’t think so, Gregor. I didn’t tell him, and I know your mother didn’t either. We both thought it was better that way.” He looked stricken. “But perhaps, had he known, he would not have taken his own life.”
187
Gregor reached for my hand. “Perhaps,” he said. “But he sounded like he had so many problems. I guess that’s why my mum never told me the truth about him,” he added glumly. “It was probably just too hard for her to talk about.” “I spoke to her some time ago about telling you all this,” Teo said gently. “I imagined that bringing you here would stir your memories. She wanted me to tell you. She didn’t think she’d be able to do it herself.” “I wasn’t born here,” Gregor said. “I know I was born in London. I suppose she went back?” “She stayed here for a while. It was easier, I think, for her to grieve here. The sea gave her great comfort. When the time came for you to be born, she went back to London where her family was. But every summer after that, she would come here and stay with my sister. That was your “Tia Margareta” whom you visited every summer when you were young. I was not here anymore; by then I was off around the world making more plays and then movies. But I spoke occasionally with your mother to see how you were doing. I felt, you know, that I had a responsibility to you.” “I don’t remember meeting you,” Gregor said. “I suppose that’s why, if you were always travelling. Tia Margareta is a lot better looking than you, if I remember correctly.” Teo laughed. “I do not take that personally. She lives in Sevilla now, and I’m sure she would love to see you again. She never had her own children- I’m sure she felt like you were hers.” Gregor managed to smile. “So you didn’t give me a part in Grecian Urn because of my amazing talent.” “Oh, yes, I did,” Teo answered. “You have a lot of your father in you, Gregor. He was a good actor.” He paused, his finger to his lips. “I think perhaps he would have been a great one, had he not had so many personal demons.” Gregor nodded. “I suppose I’ve inherited some of those as well.” He traced the rim of his coffee cup with his finger. “What was his real name, Teo? I would like to know now.” “It was Peter, your mother was right about that. Peter Lewiston.” Gregor nodded thoughtfully. “Believe I did hear that name once or twice when I was in the West End. People kind of spoke of him like he was James Dean,” he told me. “Gone before his time. Did anyone else know he was my father?” he asked Teo.
188
“Just my family, and your mother’s parents. Your mother- she felt so sad about his death, she did not speak of him to anyone except me. We both had our good memories of him that we could share.” “I would love to hear some of those, eventually,” Gregor said somewhat wistfully. “I would like to tell them to you.” They both sat quietly for a minute, each pondering their loss, of a friend and of a father. Presently, Teo stood. “I will leave you for a while to your thoughts. It seems unimportant at the moment, but I will be having a meeting at two this afternoon with everyone, to discuss the film. I hope to see you there.” Gregor’s face lit up. “You will,” he replied. He rose as Teo did, and unexpectedly gave him a bear hug. “I appreciate all that you’ve done for me, and for my family,” he said. “As we say in Spain, no pasa nada,” Teo answered. After he had left, I assumed that Gregor would want to be alone for a while. “I’ll be at my cottage if you need me,” I told him gently as we left the table. He nodded. “Yes, I think I will call my mum. It appears we have a lot to talk about.” I touched his hand, and then stood on tiptoe to give him a kiss. “I have someone to talk to as well,” I said quietly. Half an hour later, I knocked on Jack’s door. He answered it within a few moments, wearing a t-shirt and shorts. His hair was still damp from the shower. “Hey,” he said, his face lighting up when he saw me. “Come on in.” I went into the room and sat down in a chair. Jack gestured to the coffeepot on the table. “Want some? I just ordered it.” I shook my head. “No, thanks. Listen, Jack, we need to talk.” He sat down on the edge of his bed. He must have noticed something in my face, because the light suddenly went out of his eyes. “What happened to you last night?” he asked. “You disappeared and then there was that huge thunderstorm. Molly said she had no idea where you went. Did you go back to your room? I tried to call you twice.” I shook my head. “Jack,” I said, “I want to tell you before you find out from someone else. Gregor and I- well, I guess we’re back together.”
189
He looked down for a minute. “So that’s where you were last night,” he said softly, picking at the chenille bedspread. “I figured as much. Gregor came and asked for you, and took off after we said we didn’t know where you went.” I pressed my lips together. “We had to- clear some things up. Anyway, it’s over with him and Clara.” Jack sighed, lifting his eyes to meet mine. “So I guess that means ditto for you and me, huh?” I got up and went over to sit beside him on the bed. “Jack, honestly, you’re a great guy,” I said, touching his arm. “You spent all that money to come out and see me, and you took care of me when I was a drunken mess, and you were a good shoulder to cry on when things were looking really bad.” I paused, trying to save him from hurting. God knows I knew enough about how it felt. “I want you to know I really appreciate how you’ve been there for me.” He seemed to consider this, although I could tell from his face that he was struggling with his emotions. “You’re worth it,” he mumbled finally. I took his hand and held it tightly. “You deserve someone who can love you better than I ever could,” I said. “It wouldn’t be fair otherwise.” He thought this over, then nodded. “Maybe someday I’ll get as lucky as you are,” he said with a sigh. “And we can still be friends?” I asked hopefully. He squeezed my hand, then let it go. “I think so,” he replied. “Maybe not right now, today. But I think, someday, we will.” “Good,” I said. “Because I’ll always need someone to dance with me.” I didn’t see Gregor until after lunch, when he stopped by my room and asked if I wanted to go for a walk on the beach. The sand was warm and soft under our bare feet. The fishing boats were already far out to sea with their nets. “What a great life,” Gregor commented. “Lolling around in your boat waiting for fish to come fill your net. I could get used to that.” “Maybe you can do that when you retire,” I suggested. “Not a bad idea.” We held hands and walked along where the waves just lapped against the sand.
190
Gregor’s face behind his sunglasses was hard to read. I felt so bad for him; surely he’d always held a secret hope that he’d meet his father one day. And to find out that he’d died so tragically and so young, without even knowing Gregor existed…it must be hard to take all at once. I waited to see if he felt like talking about it or just wanted to keep it to himself for now. Presently he said, “I had a good talk with my mum this morning. She seemed very relieved that Teo had told me. It explains a lot, you know. About how Teo has always acted towards me. And how she…how she never wanted to talk about my father. I used to, when I was younger, you know. I would ask her questions about what he was like. She almost never answered me. After a while, I stopped asking.” “Children adjust to anything,” I murmured. “She probably liked bringing you here, though. So far away from London and the memories there.” “She hardly ever came to see my plays,” Gregor mused. “It must have reminded her too much of my father, since he may have been on some of the same stages. She never tried to dissuade me from acting, though. She must have realized it was in my blood.” “Maybe you can read about some of the shows he was in,” I remarked. “I’m sure there’s old news archives and photos.” “Yes, I would like to try and find out more about him,” Gregor agreed. We walked in silence for a few minutes more. Then Gregor stopped me and pointed suddenly. “La Roca de la Madre,” he said, in the language that had been a second tongue to him. “We used to swim out to it, when I would come here. Supposedly it resembles the Virgin Mary if you look at it from the right angle.” I squinted at the large grey rock jutting from the water, but I could not find the elusive likeness. “Maybe later we can go up into the village,” I suggested. “For dinner. Didn’t you say you used to help bring the day’s catch around to the local restaurants?” Gregor’s face lit up. “I did. I wonder if any of the old owners are still around. Or their kids.” “Let’s plan on that,” I said. “It would be fun.” We turned back and started walking towards the cottages.
191
“Who ever would have thought,” Gregor mused, “that I’d reunite with my true love and find out the mystery of my father in the space of twelve hours? That’s better than any movie you could ever write, Elise.” I stopped and turned to face him. “Yes,” I agreed, cupping his face in my hands. I pulled him towards me, and before I kissed him, I added, “but maybe I will someday.” FIN