The Seducers Playbook

The Seducers Playbook

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PPaarrtt 11:: G Geettttiinngg SSttaarrtteedd W Wiitthh W Woom meenn 10 Ways Guys Kill Attraction…………………………………………………………. More Fear Than How……………………………………………………………………

PPaarrtt 22:: T Thhee A Attttrraaccttiioonn PPllaayybbooookk Being Seductive is Attractive…………………………………………………………… Assume Attraction………………………………………………………………………... Good Enough For Her Attention………………………………………………………….. How to be Interesting For Real…………………………………………………………….. Escalate the Vibe……………………………………………………………………………. An Automatic Sexual Connection…………………………………………………………… Link Between Attraction, Escalation, Sexual Tension………………………………………… Deadpan Sexy…………………………………………………………………………………. Holding Face…………………………………………………………………………………… Some Women Can’t Handle Sexual Tension…………………………………………………… More Awkward Than Arousing…………………………………………………………………..

PPaarrtt 33:: T Thhee E Essccaallaattiioonn PPllaayybbooookk Are You an Average Frustrated Chump? ……………………………………………………….. You’re Not a Challenge, You’re a Pussy………………………………………………………… You are Scared to Know the Truth………………………………………………………………. Women Will Let You Touch Them………………………………………………………………. You Can’t Plan a Kiss……………………………………………………………………………. 2

A Move More Powerful Than Kissing…………………………………………………………… Her Hands Versus Her Lips………………………………………………………………………. The Other Limiting Belief………………………………………………………………………… Love and Baggage…………………………………………………………………………………. Vulnerable Not Needy (Women are Amazing)……………………………………………………. Asking Versus Pulling…………………………………………………………………………….. It’s Not You, It’s The Sex…………………………………………………………………………..

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Part 1 G Geettttiinngg SSttaarrtteedd W Wiitthh W Woom meenn

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I think pretty much every guy out there can identify with some point in their life where they shot themselves in the foot with a woman (and if you’re honest, probably multiple times). So in order to help stop this mass masochistic act from continuing, I’ve provided an emergency defibrillator pack to resuscitate your swagger. Avoid these 10 items like the bubonic plague and you’ll be well on your way to letting nature work its spell on all the attractive women you come across on a regular basis. 10. Being Overly Agreeable If you’ve never noticed this phenomenon among men, let me bring you up to speed. Take a look at how a normal guy transforms into an super attentive and overly excited puppy when talking to a girl he just met. You would swear that women are all master comedians and orators the way most guys act around them. Give it a rest guy, the fact that she lives in XYZ town and went shopping today really isn’t that interesting. No, seriously. It’s not. Stop scrambling your brain trying to find a tangent to such a boring response. She doesn’t care if you like shopping where she shops as well. 9. Overactive Facial Expressions This one’s an extension of the previous one. When guys are overly agreeable and honored just to be talking to an attractive girl, their eyes and face will light up like it’s Christmas. News flash: it’s not, so take a trip back to reality and realize you’re talking to a normal human being. It’s disgusting when you’re overly excited about nothing when she has 5

done nothing to deserve it. Professional comedians are damn funny, and even THEY have to go out every night and earn every laugh they get. No one gets a free pass. Not her either. 8. Talking Too Much The most common thing most guys do as soon as they’re in a conversation with a new girl is fill up all the silences with nervous conversation. Trust me, when there’s a lull in the conversation for whatever reason, no one is fooled when you desperately throw a hail mary question or comment in an attempt for silence to not be “awkward”. This is unnatural behavior, you wouldn’t try so hard to fill the silences when you’re just hanging out with your guy friends. Make friends with tension and awkward moments. 7. Lack of Touch with Purpose Touch is one of the most hotly discussed topics in a seduction, especially since it’s one of the more concrete ways to solidify a connection with a woman. Most men simply do not touch women who they’re interested in enough. It’s as if they think that women are as delicate as brittle china that shatters at the slightest touch. But mainly, they’re scared that the woman will not appreciate his advances. Don’t go the off the opposite side of the spectrum, where you’re touching her and trying to “attract” her. Always touch with a purpose, and remember your purpose is to seduce her. Touch accordingly. 6. Breaking Rapport Who’s not guilty of this one? Pretty much every guy has gotten it in 6

their head at one point that if being the nice (pushover) guy doesn’t work, then being the cocky and arrogant jerk that women seem to love would work. Actually, it doesn’t. When you think you got the perfect cocky and funny line or a better answer that shows how witty you are, in most cases you are dead wrong and you get docked points for trying to be something you are not. Best case scenario? You’re right, she believes you have the cajones to back up your statement, but then the dynamic between you two has turned into you vs her. People on opposite sides of a fight do not hook up. 5. Talking and Not Listening An extension of the Talking Too Much syndrome above is when the guy doesn’t listen to what the girl is saying. Now when most guys think of listening, they think of some Dr. Phil segment or some relationship segment on how to listen to your partner better. This is not it at all, when you listen neutrally more than you talk, you set the silent expectation to her that what she says should be important. You’re expecting her to contribute good conversation and not listening to her like a happy camper listening to a bed-time story. (See #9) 4. Making One Big Move One of the worst things you can do is to put all your eggs in one basket and risk it all on one big extravagant move with a girl you like. It stems from a previous item, Lack of Touch With a Purpose, and the result is usually a guy keeping the vibe between him and a girl largely platonic until he makes that one big move, which is usually a kiss or a confession of love or something. Keep your touch purposeful and the rest will fall into place. 7

3. Waiting Until You Are Alone to Act If you haven’t noticed it yet, all of these points build on top of one another, and this one is built on top of having the need to make that one big move. Because the big move has been built up so much, it’s extremely hard for most men to escalate anything with a woman unless they’re alone in a 1-on-1 setting. What’s the result? Platonic vibe and conversation hoping that they can get them alone to make the move. Ditch the move and ditch the need to be alone to seduce her. 2. Bailing Her Out You ask her out for a date, you ask for her number, you plan an outing… she flakes on your advances and with the speed of a mongoose, you reassure her as quick as possible that it’s ok and that it’s perfectly fine. Aww… what a nice guy, so considerate of her feelings considering she just exhibited anti-social behavior. I mean think about it: if you were gonna take a good guy friend out for dinner sometime and he couldn’t make it, the first thing he would do is show his gratitude and suggest an alternate date. Most men reward bad behavior from a woman with nervous apology. She just did something messed up and you’re the one apologizing? This one’s a deal-breaker for killing attraction. 1. Trying to Impress Her All of the above attraction killers all stem from one critical thought, and if you get rid of it, everything else pretty much takes care of itself. The urge and need to impress her, show her how cool you are, make a good first impression, show her your best side… all of these are symptoms of 8

the same disease. You are placing her (unfairly) on a pedestal before you even know her well, you are coming from the position of a beggar trying to entice her with cheap tricks. The truth is, you’re NOT a beggar. She is not some sort of holy grail. She’s just a girl with her own flaws and you are just a guy with your own as well. Nature never designed for you to be attractive only if you were flawless, that is an unfortunate side effect of the conditioning of our society that says you need to do this or that in order to deserve love or get women or respect. If you think you can out-attract nature, you are grossly wrong. Be who you are without shame, with pride, and let the chips fall where they may. I’m pretty sure you’ll like where they land.

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I think one area where we went wrong is we brought over analysis into all phases of the game. It's excusable to bring mental masturbation into the attraction phase because it can be difficult to pinpoint exactly what is creating the attraction. Every person is so different and every girl is unique in her own way. However, there was no need to bring the rampant over-analysis to the opening, escalation and getting sexual phases as well. That's because for most guys things like opening and getting sexual are more about fears than how. In other words, it's not the how that is holding guys back when it comes to opening and escalating, it's the fear. So from a marketing prospective, it was pretty smart to keep guys occupied learning the how. This gives guys an excuse to put off getting over their fears until they learn all of the how. And I mean all of the how. Learning the how never ends. There is never a shortage of new products offering the how. The worst part is, the more complicated you make the how the greater a guys fears will be. You would think it would be the opposite. But no more HOWS equals more fears. You reduce fear by making opening, escalating and pulling girls easier - not more complicated. Look, you can study the how forever or you can go out and get over your fears. The how for opening, escalating and getting sexual are very simple. 10

Opening: one word, Hi Escalation: one move, grab her hand Sex: one offer, let's get out of here A Perfect Example A guy thinks he has a fear of escalating so he studies "game". But it's not actually a fear of escalating, in reality he just has a fear of making an overt physical move that will reveal if her attraction for him is mutual. Finding out if a woman's attraction for you is mutual or one-sided is very scary for guys. But instead of tackling that core fear (making an overt, physical, mutual move) he spends years learning a bunch of other hows that have absolutely nothing to do with getting over the fear of finding out if a woman's attraction for him is mutual. - He uses lots of incidental touching, learns various kino ladders - He uses aggressive moves before the attraction is mutual (slapping her ass, licking her face) - Chickens out and asks for her phone number instead (a phone number is not something physical or mutual) He may think he is making progress and "learning game" but at the end of the day he is still afraid to reveal to a woman that he has an overt physical interest in her. And, he is still absolutely terrified to find out if a woman's attraction for him is mutual. In fact, judging by the stuff he is doing he would rather not know. When it comes to women it' s always more about fear than how. 11

Part 2 T Thhee A Attttrraaccttiioonn P Pllaayybbooookk (How to Build Sexual Tension)

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The decision whether or not a woman will find you attractive will be made in the first few seconds. And it may sound crazy, but the decision will not be made by her, it will be made by you. In my opinion, one of the most attractive things you can do is assume attraction. Look, it’s no secret that women find confidence extremely sexy. And few things convey more confidence than acting as if a woman already likes you. But wait a second. What if I am short, chubby and don’t have male model looks. If I assume attraction am I not just being delusional. Maybe. But being overly confident might not be such a bad thing. On the surface it may look like this beautiful woman is out of your league, but that shouldn’t be the deciding factor if you are going to be seductive around her or not. Meaning, putting out a seductive relaxed vibe should be a part of your normal personality. This is just how you act. You are being seductive for the pleasurable feelings it provides you, not as some kind of secret pickup technique to attract her. So how would you act if you knew the woman you were talking to already liked you? Would you entertain her with stories and witty banter. Would you tease her and break rapport. Would you try to lower her value and act disinterested? I don’t know about you, but all that stuff sounds like the things I would only do if I thought a woman wasn’t attracted to me.

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Have you ever looked at a woman and just knew right away you could get her. After just a minute of conversation you had no doubt she was coming home with you. Maybe she looked exactly like a former girlfriend or perhaps you were just feeling really confident that night. How did you act around her? Did you do anything differently? I bet you probably held face contact, got really close to her, and didn’t feel the need to say or do anything special. In fact, you probably sat back and let her talk most of the time (qualify herself) while you smirked thinking “it’s just a matter of time”. The reason this laid back style works so well is because by putting out a seductive vibe you are really just saying “I already know you like me”. And what do you do when you know a woman is already attracted to you. Exactly, you escalate. And by escalate I mean you should look at her, move into her space, and keep relatively silent. You don’t worry about saying or doing anything special. In fact, you may not have realized it at the time but you basically let the sexual tension that exists naturally between men and women do all the work for you. Risk Creepy So if being seductive is really so simple and effective why doesn’t everybody do it. Well first of all many guys fear that if they act in a seductive manner women will consider them creepy. And there are few things as scary to a man than being labeled creepy. He would much rather have a woman tell him to fuck off. As such, being seductive has become something you only do when you have definitive proof a woman already likes you. For example, guys think using bedroom eyes, being silent and getting close are only things you would do after a woman has 14

agreed to be alone with you. All Game is Inner Game You can spend years working on improving yourself, but in the end assuming attraction is really the ultimate reflection of your inner game. Meaning it’s really up to you, not her, to make the final decision if you’re an attractive guy or not. If you truly believe you are an attractive person then you will act calm and relaxed around women. You will be confident holding her gaze and feel comfortable basking in the natural sexual tension that reveals itself in the brief moments of silence. However, if you think she is out of your league then you will automatically feel like you need to do and say stuff. You will focus on being social, funny and interesting. You will worry about the right words to say. The decision which way you will proceed is often made in the first few seconds after you meet a new woman. Unfortunately, the process happens so fast it’s usually beyond our conscious control. Look, there will always be debate over which are the best qualities to display in order to create attraction. Should you act aloof and uninterested or run around letting her observe your awesome social skills. But despite all of the different attraction switches, I think we can all agree that assuming attraction is very attractive. And one of the best ways to convey that you assume women already like you is by being seductive with your vibe. Few things in this game show more confidence.

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Most of the tactics the community teaches are things you would only do if you assumed a woman was not attracted to you. In fact, needing to say or do anything special by definition means you believe you need to do extra things to make women like you. For example, no matter how cool your stories are, you are still qualifying yourself. Plus, if you really were confident that she liked you - wouldn't you want to make that attraction official and mutual as soon as possible. Many guys claim they always assume attraction yet they waste their time acting disinterested and only use incidental touching. Huh? Basically the whole verbal repertoire of the community was built on a foundation of our insecurities. It was created for guys who were unsuccessful with women and uncomfortable with sexual tension. Every tease and witty joke was a way to diffuse a tense sexual moment. Every story and routine a way to guarantee there would never be an uncomfortable silence. Just the topic of sex is unsettling for most people. You can imagine how uncomfortable sexual tension made us feel. It can be very awkward. In contrast, women have more experience with sexual tension having been hit on many times throughout their lives. Thus, women are rarely going to feel attraction for a man who can handle less sexual tension than she can.

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A New Day As we move into the future of seduction many more guys are realizing there is already an attractive man inside them. The truth is each of us already has the power to tap into sexual tension. That's because sexual tension is an energy not a physical attribute. You don't have to be tall, muscular, or have chiseled facial features. You have just as much right to bask in the pleasure of sexual tension as anyone else. When you assume attraction, you assume that women would enjoy basking in that moment of sexual tension with you.

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How women can tell that you are a good candidate for attention. 1. You don't escalate into a more seductive vibe 2. You don't make an overt physical move and make attraction official We recently discussed how a woman knows right away if you are threat based on if your vibe is sexual. If you have a sexual vibe and she likes you, she will stay with you hoping you make an overt physical move. If she doesn't like you, and is just looking for some attention, she will leave. She knows a guy with a sexual vibe can't be duped into spending hours entertaining her without making a move. This saves you both a lot of time. This same scenario plays out, albeit for a longer period of time, when you are in the friend zone. If you are not a threat women will have no problem keeping you around as the friend. They know right away your vibe is not sexual so they feel totally safe getting validation, time and attention from you. I'm not saying don’t have women as friends. I have many. I'm only talking about guys who want to have sex or are secretly in love with their female friends and are just pretending to be her friend. However, sometimes you do start out with a sexual vibe. Maybe with a woman you just met or even from your social circle or office. She knows you are a sexual threat and still hangs around you hoping something will happen. The next mistake you make is not making an overt physical move. Well you do want to make an overt physical move but the only one you know 18

of is kissing. And there never seems to be a good time for that. There are always people around, you can't isolate, you can't get close enough or something ends up ruining the mood. Even if you do have a sexual vibe and act all cocky around her if nothing happens she eventually realizes that that the reason "nothing has happened yet" is because you are scared to make an overt physical move. You "think" you are being a challenge but she "knows" you are really just scared. Aw, how cute! Don't worry she will humor you and let you believe you are just "playing it cool". Obviously this destroys all of her attraction for you. Once she realizes you are scared to make an overt physical move and as a result is no longer attracted to you, she now knows she can get lots of attention form you with zero risk. She knows you will never make that overt physical move and so do you. Even if she does let you touch her, she won't ever let you make the seduction mutual. When you are the one doing all the touching the frame is that she is the prize and you are the one trying to attract (arouse) her. This all becomes a huge waste of time.

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If you are like most guys I bet you worry a lot about being interesting. I get tons of emails from guys asking me what they should say when they talk to women. To their surprise, I tell them not to say anything. Look, there is a big difference between a shy guy who women ignore and a guy that doesn't say much but has an interesting presence. By the way, who's idea was it to have guys who aren’t exactly socially savvy talk a lot. They would be better off just listening and escalating the vibe. You may think putting out a seductive vibe is creepy, but it's a lot less creepy than being creepy verbally or creepy physically. When putting out a seductive vibe there is not much you need to say. You don't need to be interesting because your vibe is interesting. You could both be talking about the most boring topics in the world, but the vibe will still be sexual. That is why seduction has little to do with words. You also don't need to tease her to create tension because the vibe is already creating sexual tension. The best part is you won't be breaking rapport with your words which is usually her excuse to reject you. However, when you put out a seductive vibe, women will usually bait you to break rapport. You can easily handle these tests by simply staring at her with a deadpan expression. They say women get bored easily, and this is especially true down at the bars and clubs. You see it all the time. Some poor guy starts panicking as he begins to lose the groups attention. As a result, guys start talking too fast and try to be even more interesting and funny.

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Look, it doesn't really matter if what you talk about is interesting as long as your vibe is interesting. You could even say very little and listen if you wanted. If your vibe is seductive it will keep a woman's attention without having to do or say anything special. Women won't usually talk to you (a stranger) for too long unless you are interesting and entertaining. Unfortunately, too much talking and entertaining has a low probability of leading to sex because there is no tension. So the only other way to be considered interesting to women is to put out a sexual vibe and escalate. Women never get bored talking about themselves. Put out a seductive vibe while you listen to and you will always have her attention.

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When you go out, you don’t need to worry if you are always talking to a woman. All you should care about is that when you are talking to a woman you like, that you are escalating the vibe. Despite what people think, fast escalation is not about groping women or being direct verbally about your sexual desires. It's about quickly escalating the vibe by getting close and maintaining deadpan face contact. We are creating non-verbal tension because verbal escalations can be verbally rejected. To get good at escalating the vibe you need to risk creepy. If being seductive was easy everybody would do it. When the vibe turns sexual, even if it happens by accident, most guys can't deal with the tension and break it. However, if you win the sexual tension battle she will be the one to blush, act weird and loopy. She is qualifying to you now. Nobody knows what is going on. Her friends and male orbiters have no clue because you aren't saying anything and you aren't touching her. Plus your facial expression is neutral (poker face). Since you can't see vibe there is nothing for them to protest. In fact, you can and should be genuine and humble with all the guys. Unlike teasing her, putting out a seductive vibe makes her wonder does he like me? in a good way. There is nothing verbal to do so drop all that shit like be interesting. You don't have to break rapport - in fact you can be a nice guy. Non-verbal sexual tension can be much more effective than verbal sexual tension. Some guys just can't escalate verbally or physically but they can escalate vibe. In the beginning when escalating the vibe you don't want to get 22

baited to break rapport. In fact, her tests are great opportunities to increase the vibe and tension. Just look at her and saying nothing or move closer.

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A Ann A Auuttoom maattiicc C Coonnnneeccttiioonn I think the mindset that you need to do special things to create sexual tension is needy. The truth is on some level sexual tension between a man and a woman exists naturally. An automatic connection if you will. I'm sure you've noticed it's usually lurking just beneath the surface of even your most polite conversations with women. In most cases there is really nothing special you need to say verbally or do physically. Most times attracting a woman can be as simple as just tapping into the tension that is already there. One way you can tap into this natural tension is by being comfortable with silence. Be still. Sexual tension always seems to reveal itself during the short pauses. Or in an extended gaze. A sexual connection forms naturally when you are simply enjoying the woman in front of you instead of worrying about what to say. Don't complicate the concept of sexual tension by viewing it as something that you need to create. Instead think of sexual tension as something that is always there, just waiting to be discovered. And if you can keep quiet for a few seconds you may just find it.

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L Liinnkk B Beettw weeeenn A Attttrraaccttiioonn,, E Essccaallaattiioonn,, & & SSeexxuuaall T Teennssiioonn Let’s discuss the relationship between attraction, escalation, and sexual tension. The first thing to realize is there is no attraction phase. Rather attraction and escalation are both happening at the same time. First of all, escalation is an attractive quality, if not the most attractive out of all the things that supposedly create attraction. Especially when done without worrying if she likes you or not. This leap of faith shows major confidence and will get you extra points with women. Any guy can escalate once they are sure a woman is interested in them. Big deal. However, when we mention escalation we are not talking about groping women or being verbally direct. Instead we focus on escalating the vibe. Escalating the vibe consists of holding face, cutting space, and being silent. These moves create a feeling of tension and uncertainty and by definition, tension between a man and a woman is sexual tension. So you could say the main goal of escalating the vibe is to create sexual tension. This feeling of tension is very similar to the physical symptoms she feels when she is attracted to a man. Her heart is beating fast, she is fidgeting, her thoughts are racing and she is feeling slightly nervous. The good news is, these same physical reactions usually happen whether she is attracted to the person creating the tension or not. If she doesn't like you, the tension you created will be interpreted by her as awkward. As such, she will respond by giving you the “you're creepy” look. Too bad, you have to risk creepy. However, if she is interested that feeling of tension should make her even more attracted to you. In fact, she will think you are extremely sexy. 25

By putting out a seductive vibe but not revealing your interest verbally (just listening) or physically (no touching) there is still an unresolved tension that exists between you (sexual tension). She will have a longing for a release to that uncertainty. She wants to make sure that you are feeling this connection too. You relieve her tension by making just one overt physical move - grabbing and then caressing her hand. Since you haven't touched her much (if at all) the first time you touch her hand creates a spark which leads to mutual caressing. As an added bonus, many of the moves you use to create tension like seductive listening and the poker face make her feel like she is qualifying to you. You are not using these things as a tactic per se (remember your main goal is to create tension) you still get the added benefit of creating more attraction via qualification. Just take a look at some of the other methods for creating sexual tension. Most of them revolve around trying to create tension verbally with words (humor, teasing, sexual comments) or physically (incidental touching). In my opinion, escalating the vibe (holding face, moving close and listening) is way more powerful because talking and touching her a lot reduces sexual tension. The idea that you need to do special things to create sexual tension is absurd. That is why I prefer moves that let you tap into the natural tension between a man and a woman. For example, listening to her versus talking. You want to be silent so you can enjoy the amazing woman in front of you. For example, getting turned on by her smell, voice, and energy. Here is the cliff notes version - Escalating the vibe is attractive and creates sexual tension. Tension mimics the physical symptoms of being attracted to someone. Some of the things you do to escalate the vibe 26

(poker face, listening) have the added benefit of creating a qualifying frame, which is also attractive. The feeling of unresolved tension for a guy you are attracted to can be uncomfortable for her. Thus using only one physical move like grabbing her hand is all you need to put her at ease. Let her know that you feel the connection to. Mutual caressing makes it officially on which sets you up for arousal.

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There is another misconception about escalating the vibe. That somehow you have to try look all sexy which usually comes off as trying too hard. Instead what you want to be deadpan sexy. You can look seductive and still look like you are screening her at the same time. This is the 50% I am checking you out, 50% I am screening you look. Hard to explain with words but this is mostly done with your eyes and lips. You balance the escalation (looking at her) with a challenge (screening her). I’m sure you have noticed when most guys check out a girl they always give her that look like "aw yeah girl I will fuck the shit out of you" as they stare at her ass. That is not what deadpan sexy is. It's a mix of seduction and screening. Deadpan Rapport In this method we don't worry about creating rapport. In fact, our main focus is on not letting women bait us into breaking rapport. And believe me, if you come across as a sexual threat women will bait you at least a few times. Especially before you make attraction overt and mutual. Not letting her bait you to break rapport builds sexual comfort which is the most important ingredient for getting sexual quickly. This style is neutral rapport. Meaning we don't kiss her ass verbally (that's so funny) or with supplicating facial expressions like the I'm so happy to be here smile. We keep the vibe deadpan and we don't try to force the connection or fish for commonalities. I think women respect that. Of course there is basic rapport. You listen well and you don't interrupt her. But you are not kissing her ass. You can also build rapport 28

physically with mutual hand caressing or verbally with the "we are on the same team" frame. My advice to you is when in doubt, go deadpan. If you get a test and you don't know how to respond go deadpan. And if you don't know what to do, stay deadpan. Deadpan everything.

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Holding face is basically just giving a woman an opportunity check you out. This shows her you are confident with your face, which really means you are comfortable with your looks. I prefer holding face versus using seductive eye contact. The concept of using seductive eye contact is fine but it can sometimes be weird or uncomfortable for both parties to keep up. Instead of holding intense eye contact, look at her but don't focus on anywhere specifically on her face. This way she can comfortably check you out. Prolonged direct eye contact can make women nervous. This makes it more likely they will look away or avoid your gaze entirely, which is obviously not what we want. That is one reason why I changed from holding eye contact to holding face. It's been very effective. The problem with forcing eye contact is you are "trying" to be seductive. However, when you hold face you are simply giving her a chance to check you out. She is the one doing the work. Holding face helps you create sexual tension without trying to be seductive. And because you have a deadpan facial expression, she feels like she is the one qualifying to you. In order to break the tension from holding face I've had many girls blurt out "you're cute". If this happened once or twice I could chalk it up as a coincidence, but it happens a lot. When a girl tells you that you're cute, she really means are comfortable enough with your looks to hold her gaze. Confidence is sexy.

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Every woman you meet will respond differently to sexual tension. Some can handle it easily and others start acting, well...a little strange. Whether she says "what" when you look at her, won't stop talking or constantly tries to bait you to break rapport, the truth is some women are simply tension AFC's. This can be cute but it can also be a huge turn-off after a while. One way to avoid this is to give her a slight break in the tension by making your overt physical move. This move lets her know you are definitely interested. Keep in mind, a lot of her unresolved tension comes from her worrying "does he or doesn't he like me?”. Or as my friend Alex astutely pointed out "at first sexual tension can feel more weird than arousal for her". Basically she is wondering if you are feeling what she's feeling. You can help relieve some of that uncertainty. For the chatterbox who deals with tension by talking the whole time you can quiet her with one quick kiss. You can't kiss and talk at the same time. For shy girls who seem nervous and fidgety, but stay relatively quiet, simply take her hand and start caressing it. She just needs a little bit of comfort and reassurance. The point of this moment is to solidify the connection you have been building with vibe, physically - thus reducing some of that uncertainty. It also creates comfort and a "we are in this together frame". After this mutual moment there will still be tension but you won't get as much nervous chatter, her saying "what" when you look at her, and constant testing. She will start to calm down a little bit and enjoy the seduction. Again, by no means does this mean the tension over. It's only just begun. Although there is a now a different type of tension brewing. 31

The bottom line is if you wait too long to make your overt physical mutual escalation you are going to get women acting a little crazy in response to your sexual vibe. Inexperienced seducers usually mistake this strange behavior as a sign of low interest. All the more reason to make your mutual move quickly.

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M Moorree A Aw wkkw waarrdd tthhaann A Arroouussiinngg

Definition: Sexual tension is an interaction between two people in which the individuals sexually long for one another but the consummation is postponed or never occurs. This longing is often suggested by incidents of intimacy; for instance when two people are physically close and holding eye contact, but the desire is never explicitly expressed. Sexual tension is about desiring a resolution. At first sexual tension creates a longing for some kind of overt physical contact. For example, mutual caressing reassures a woman that it’s not just her that is feeling this connection. She wants to know that you feel it to. In the beginning you want to make the sexual tension as strong as possible through deadpan face contact, proximity and not saying much. You also don’t want to reduce any of the tension you are building by reacting to her tests or letting her bait you to break rapport. The stronger you make the initial tension the more she will long for that first overt physical contact. You don’t want to make an overt move too quickly before there is adequate longing, but you also don’t want to wait too long either. As my friend Alex pointed out, before attraction is mutual tension can be more awkward than arousing for women. As such, she will test you and try to bait you into breaking rapport. The longer sexual tension goes on without a resolution, the stranger she may start to act. If you don't make an overt move she will reject you first to protect her ego. She will act as if there never was a connection between you. She may even revise history and claim you were creepy.

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Having her wonder of we like her is not the kind of tension we are going for. That is the old way of thinking where you have to be aloof and pretend to be disinterested. We can build enough tension with escalation and vibe that we don’t need to worry about stuff like teasing her. The great part of about building anticipation is that the first mutual touch will make it officially on. This is why you don’t need to worry about using lots of touching. You can do little to no touching and then just go for one big overt move like grabbing her hand.

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Part 3 T Thhee E Essccaallaattiioonn P Pllaayybbooookk (Getting Sexual)

35

W Whhaatt iiss aann A Avveerraaggee F Frruussttrraatteedd C Chhuum mpp

In my opinion you can say or do basically anything - even if it's boring, as long as you escalate. And you could be the most interesting guy in the world with awesome magic tricks and witty teases - but if you don't escalate you won't get the girl. To me being an average chump means only one thing - not escalating when a girl likes you. Especially when she stays talking to you. Being an average frustrated chump has nothing to do with listening, having rapport, or asking basic questions. However guys say that if you want to be a pick up artist and not an average guy you need to break rapport, talk a lot and be really interesting. This advice can mess you up. Instead people should be honest and say - look, your problem is not that you are average, the problem is you are a pussy. You don't escalate. You want to be a nice guy - no problem. You want to be a good listener - go for it. The only thing is you need to do is escalate. If you can't do that it doesn't really matter what you do.

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Y Yoouu’’rree N Noott aa C Chhaalllleennggee,, Y Yoouu’’rree aa P Puussssyy The problem with teaching disinterest as a tactic is that it plays right into the hands of guys who are already scared to escalate. Instead of having to face their fear of making a move they can now think they are making progress attracting women by "acting disinterested". There is a very fine line between a guy who is a challenge and one who is just scared to make a move. Women know the difference so you can't fool them.

The irony is many women start out liking you because you are scared to escalate. They think you are being a challenge and start chasing you. But it doesn't take long for women to realize - Wait a second, this guy isn't a challenge. He's just a pussy. He is scared to make an overt move and admit he likes me. Instantly, all of her attraction for you disappears. You're out.

37

Y Yoouu D Doonn’’tt W Waanntt ttoo K Knnoow w

They say women get turned on slowly like heating up an oven. While that may be true for arousal, I don't agree when it comes to attraction. Arousal may happen slowly, but attraction happens fast. If a woman isn't attracted to you - she probably isn't going to give you the time it takes to arouse her. You need attraction first. One of the limitations of relying solely on touch is that touching doesn't create attraction, it reveals it. However proper touching can be used arouse women who are open to the idea of you arousing them. Women make their decision about you almost instantly. And you don't really want to know the answer to the question - is she attracted to me. You know her decision has been made and you fear the verdict. So of course you clown around with interesting conversation, incidental touching, asking for her number, setting up future meets that are never going to happen, giving compliments, using aggressive but non-mutual moves or non-serious escalation (the double kiss). But you won't grab her hand and test for mutual caressing. You can't go for mutual because you are scared of the truth. And she knows you don't want to know - which is the foundation for the orbiter relationship. So you delude yourself that you are working on "attracting her". Anything to not have to admit that the seduction isn’t mutual. And mutual is the foundation for seduction. None of these things make attraction mutual and official exchanging numbers giving her your business card 38

a verbal agreement to go on a date talking to her for a long time smiling and laughing accepting but not returning your touch aggressive but not mutual escalation forced kiss

You can't leave it up to her to make attraction mutual - that is your job. The feeling of attraction has been created way more times than it has ever become official. Creating attraction is easy while making it overt and mutual is harder. Things will always be different after you make attraction mutual. Similar to how things are different after you have had sex with a girl. In reality, a penis just went inside a vagina. But now for the rest of her life, you are someone she had sex with. She will always view and treat you differently. And that is the whole point of making attraction official. Sure, there are many girls who really liked you - but the attraction never became mutual so it doesn't count. It's like it never happened.

39

W Woom meenn W Wiillll L Leett Y Yoouu T Toouucchh T Thheem m

You want to create attraction with your vibe and then make it official with your touch. You have it backwards. You are trying to create attraction using your touch (and words). Touching her a lot doesn't create sexual tension. Most times it just reduces all of the tension you created with your vibe. Remember, since you have said nothing verbally and done nothing physically to reveal your intentions – it’s the vibe that creates sexual tension. The problem with making overt moves that don't lead to anything mutual (ie. leaving your hand on her back or caressing parts of her body besides her hands) is that she may know what is happening- but she can simply ignore it. Remember, the goal is to make the attraction mutual. It's obviously not official if she is playing dumb about what you are doing. However, she can't pretend mutual caressing isn't happening if she is participating in it. If a woman is not participating in the seduction it's because she doesn't want to. Making attraction mutual is a skill. Guys who can make attraction official in a tactful way (not lunging at her for a kiss in front of her coworkers) are viewed as highly skilled with women. If you try to skip "mutual caressing" and go straight into "arousal touching" it will only work if she is very attracted to you. If not you will be stopped. The worst part is you will be deluded into thinking her resistance is just asd when in reality she is just wasting your time.

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If she isn't participating in the caressing now, you can just imagine how difficult it will be in the arousal phase. You will be the one trying to turn her on and she will be playing the role of resister. Having a girl constantly stopping your attempts to arouse her is a very bad frame.

41

Y Yoouu C Caann’’tt P Pllaann aa K Kiissss

I used to think kissing was the only way to make attraction official and mutual. The problem was, although some of my kisses were planned acts of aggressiveness (I just lunged in) a lot of them happened magically. To this day, I still have no clue how it all went down. We were just talking and… In other words, the first kiss can be almost impossible to plan out. Sure, you can think you are going to slow down, gaze in her eyes, move closer and then the kiss will just happen. But that is not usually the case. Because you are trying to create the right conditions for a kiss it will never happen. That is probably why the ratio between the number of women who are attracted to you, and the number of women who you make attraction mutual with, is so low. In contrast, it doesn't take some magical moment of silence, closeness and seductive eye contact to grab a woman’s hand. Of course, during mutual caressing is definitely a good time to go for that first kiss. It will just flow naturally. Unfortunately an aggressive kiss does not always make attraction mutual. It's attractive yes, but not always mutual.

42

A AM Moovvee M Moorree P Poow weerrffuull T Thhaann K Kiissssiinngg

According to most romantic movies, the start of every heart-fluttering relationship begins with a kiss. There's a move that has it beat in effectiveness and also won't leave you exposed and vulnerable to being rejected. But let's back up for a second - most common knowledge these days around attracting women makes it seem like if you get a woman comfortable with your touch, then a physical relationship can start. This is solid reasoning, and it follows logic, but what this little tidbit leaves out is the fact that love and emotions are not a logical construct. I offer you a very different line of reasoning for why a kiss can be the start of a relationship between a man and a woman. There are two aspects to a kiss that make it very viable for jump-starting a relationship, and it is only because of these two aspects that a traditional kiss is effective. 1. Kissing is an overt physical move, it shows your physical attraction to a woman. Trying to kiss her makes it implausible for a woman to have any question as to why you like her. You can flirt with a girl all night, but that can be harmless and fun. Kissing is an overt move. She can no longer deny she didn't know what was going on. 2. Kissing is a physical move that allows her to reciprocate if she shares your attraction to her. Now you are no longer trying to seduce or get her. You are no longer on separate teams, you end up on the same team. The process of two people coming together onto the same team with mutual attraction is called an It's On Moment. When you think about it, this is exactly the reason why most "traditional" methods of trying to attract a woman don't work. Asking a woman for her phone number is not an It's On Moment because getting her number is not physical. On 43

the other hand, merely touching a woman and getting her comfortable with your touch does not create an It's On Moment because she is not touching you back--it's not mutual. I'm sure every time you go to the club you see tons of guys grind women on the dance floor, only to watch these same women walk away moments later without even saying goodbye. Why did she leave? Because despite their touching or however aggressive these guys thought they were, it didn't create a mutual physical moment with her. There was no connection, and more importantly there was no overt physical move to display his attraction to her. Thus, she will most likely not even remember she danced with him by the end of the night. So here's the moment you've been waiting for, what move is MORE powerful than kissing and so covert that she would never be able to reject you for it? Mutual Hand Caressing Mutual hand caressing is so powerful because it creates a "we are a new couple" type feeling inside of her. Endorphins? Check. Dopamine? Check. You guys are now officially on the same team. You are working together. This is what a new couple naturally does with each other; play with each others hands etc. This magical moment also makes it more likely that she will continue to comply with future physical escalations and requests; the comfort built during mutual caressing skyrockets her feelings of safety while being physical with you. So how do you use this to create an It's On Moment? It's very easy... 1. Take her hand 2. Hold it for a few seconds 3. Start lightly caressing her hand until she caresses your hand back 44

The key is you want to quickly transition from holding hands into hand caressing. The reason you don't hold her hand for too long is because women associate "holding on" with men being needy. Instead leave your hand slightly open and give her the opportunity to pull away or caress your hand. Keep in mind holding hands won't create the same powerful feeling that mutual hand caressing will. This is the easiest and most consistent way to get to the It's On Moment. That's because the easiest part of your body for her to feel comfortable touching are your hands. Think about it. A woman isn't going to just start randomly caressing your legs. Most guys spend all of their time worrying about touching her. Instead make it easier for her to touch you. By holding her hand first, we are just speeding up the process of getting to a moment of mutual caressing. Don't be the average guy that leaves this moment to chance. Remember it's up to you to make this moment happen. What if she doesn't take my hand or pulls her hand away? Unlike going for a kiss and getting rejected, if she doesn't take your hand, you can simply ignore it and try again later. You see, her rejection of your advances in terms of hand holding can never actually come into reality unless you acknowledge that you made an effort to escalate on her and failed. Compared with an all-or-nothing move like kissing her-there's simply NO comparison to mutual hand caressing, because these are the only possible outcomes! 1. She pulls her hand away, you know that you've got a little work to do before trying again--but make no mistake, this will always work as a proper gauge of her interest level in you.

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2. If she doesn't pull her hand away, but isn't caressing you back yet-you're in a good place! She's teetering closer and closer to the edge of it being fully on between you two. 3. There is mutual caressing going on. Congratulations, it's officially on!

Here's some more food for thought on the advantages of hand caressing vs. going for the kiss: * You get infinitely more chances for some easy hand caressing than going for a kiss * You don't have to create a perfect moment in which to try it * Mutual hand caressing is easier to do with other people around * You don't have to get her alone first * If you get resistance, it requires absolutely no damage control--it is a true test of where you two stand * It doesn't reduce tension and keeps you in an aura of challenge A Woman's Hands Never Lie. Women with low interest will go as far as letting you try to kiss them. Of course she will turn away and give you the ceremonial cheek. She may even pretend to be shy so she doesn't hurt your feelings. But one thing women with low interest will never do is mutual hand caressing. You will notice she absolutely will not caress your hands back when you caress hers. She has no problem laughing, smiling and holding eye contact with you. That is because all of these things are easy to fake. Mutual hand caressing is the only thing that is not. It will repulse her.

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Hand caressing is something only people who really like each other do (ie. new couples). And if she doesn't like you, the lack of hand caressing back will be a blatant dead giveaway that you are with a woman who is not very attracted to you. That's why you always go for her hands first. Because I have a secret for you. Given enough time and repetition of the above tactic--As long as she is still around... The It's On Moment is inevitable. Once you have created an It's On Moment by following the above, the entire field is now open to you and all the doors for bringing the interaction to the next level have been unlocked.

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Her Hands Versus Her Lips

Some guys still prefer the kiss close and aren’t yet sold on the idea of hand caressing. For them I have some interesting news. First, it is much easier to kiss a woman when you are already holding her hand. It’s much more likely that she will comply because you are already engaging in something mutual. Thus, you have a greater chance of getting a kiss if you are already holding hands. It would be pretty awkward for her to reject you when you guys are holding hands. Hands Vs. Lips There is another great benefit of going for her hands versus her lips. The pretense for going for her hand can be disguised (handshake, high five) whereas going for a kiss can not. If you go for a kiss there is no mistaking what you just did. You tried to kiss her. However, if you go to shake her hand, that is a just a social custom. But this innocent social custom also gives you another opportunity to make attraction mutual. You may only get one or two chances to go for her lips but you will get many chances to go for her hands. Walking with a girl is another good opportunity to try and make attraction official. Grabbing a girls hand while you walk in the street is a natural thing to do. The same is true when helping lead a girl through a crowded bar. When it comes to making attraction mutual the hands are much safer than the lips. It’s just easier to get those hands then get to her lips. She may like you, but another reason mutual caressing is so great is you get a window into how the arousal phase is going to go. Is she going to 48

be a participant or are you going to be working solo. Even if she likes you, if she doesn't return your caressing it means the arousal phase is probably going to be difficult. Additionally, it is much easier to pull a woman out of the bar if you are already holding her hand. As opposed to having to grab her hand and then do it. Again it's going to be more difficult for her to say no if you are holding hands.

49

T Thhee O Otthheerr L Liim miittiinngg B Beelliieeff

We are all familiar with the belief that it takes a certain amount of time before a woman will have sex with you. But there is another limiting belief that may be hurting you. And that is the amount of time you think you need to wait before making an overt physical move. The truth is you can make a bold move like grabbing her hand or kissing her in as early as the first minute. And if she is initially attracted to you it will work. I know you believe it is possible for a woman to become attracted to you in seconds. So why do you think it should take longer than that to make that attraction official? In fact, most times waiting too long kills your chances. Sometimes you are never as mysterious and sexy as you will be in those first few minutes after you meet her. Guys are usually at their best during the first few minutes of vibing when the sexual tension is strong. I have screwed this up many times myself. There have been plenty of times when I had a strong sexual connection with a woman right away. She would look at me seductively and smile, we got really close and I could just feel that it was definitely on. But because all this was happening in the first minute I thought I still had to wait a little bit before making that mutual physical move. As if it would blow my chances or she would reject me because it’s too soon. The truth is there is not set amount of time you need to wait before you can make it officially on. If attraction happens in seconds then when you decide to make that attraction mutual should be as soon as possible. When things are going really good at the beginning you assume you have all the time in the world to make that mutual physical move. You 50

figure you will get around to doing it (escalating) eventually. No hurry she’s really into me. But what always ends up happening when two minutes turns into five and then into ten? Not surprisingly, that initial vibe starts to weaken. She moves slightly away from you. Now she isn’t smiling as much. She has already asked you the prerequisite getting to know you questions. Then her friend comes over and interrupts the vibe. Now you start doubting yourself so you put off making the overt move again as you wait until you can get things back like they were in the beginning. You went from thinking it was too early to make an overt move to now being afraid to make an overt move. The bottom line is you want to make the attraction official as soon as possible. And escalation to me, in this case making one overt physical move, is really about revealing the attraction that is already there, when it’s there. And that’s the thing. Just because she was attracted in the first minute doesn’t mean she is going to be attracted to you forever. The feeling of attraction and sexual tension fluctuates. Your connection with her is not solid yet because in reality she just met you. Thus, the best time to make attraction mutual is during that automatic spike in attraction that usually happens naturally during the first minute. Obviously you want to take advantage of the attraction when it’s there. It just so happens that when you first meet a woman and you are the new mysterious guy you automatically get your best chance to make the attraction official.

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Once your connection becomes mutual, now you can survive the natural interest level fluctuations that are bound to happen during the first ten minutes of getting to know each other. You want to avoid the big letdown. As soon as you sense she is attracted you want to make it official. That is the real point of escalation. Don’t put it off. It doesn’t matter if it’s only thirty seconds in. Take advantage of the fact that things are usually at their best in the first minute or two. If you don’t make the attraction official it will feel like a big letdown for her later when her initial interest dips and nothing mutually physical has happened yet. I’m sure you have noticed that it always gets a bit awkward when you start out fast by escalating the vibe sexually but then you waste time clowning around with incidental touching and never make that mutual- physical move. Once the initial tension and attraction starts to fizzle without something mutual happening, the vibe usually gets a bit weird. Most interactions never recover from this fast start and weak finish. That awkward tension and weird vibe comes from a feeling that something was supposed to happen, but it didn’t. You are now pretending to interact with each other under the “friendship frame” after starting out with such a “strong sexual vibe”. You both know you are being fake so it doesn’t work. It’s no surprise that once she feels the awkwardness from this situation you are only seconds away from “well, nice meeting you”. Here is the progression of most interactions. First the vibe starts out strong, but you think it’s too early to make overt physical move. As you move into the vibe weakens a bit. Now you are afraid to make an overt physical move. Next the interaction stalls, it gets awkward and then it’s nice meeting you. 52

All this also ties into the misconception that talking to a woman for a long time means you are doing good. I see it as just the opposite. In my opinion, if I see a guy talking to a woman for more than a few minutes without making an overt physical move, it usually means he is doing bad.

53

L Loovvee aanndd B Baaggggaaggee

Here is a tale you older guys will relate to and can also serve as a warning for younger guys. No matter how old you are now, depending on your circumstances, you will probably be falling in and out of love for the rest of your life. And while the pleasurable feeling you get when you fall in love will stay the same, the baggage that comes with enjoying that emotional high will increase as you get older. When you start dating a girl in high school neither of you have many responsibilities. You are probably her first boyfriend and vice versa. Although you are both young, the emotions you experience are just as powerful. It doesn't really matter if the relationship ends well. You will never be the same. From this moment on, you will be chasing this high for the rest of your life. Unfortunately, the price for getting your fix of this love drug increases as you age. For example, when you're a 52 year-old father with two kids and you fall for a younger woman in your office, there are going to be many logistical problems. You have your kids, her kids, dealing with the courts, jealousy and anger. The being in love part feels great, it's a familiar pleasure, but it can also be a very complicated affair. Most times when you partner up with someone you're not just taking on another person. You are taking on their kids, their debt and their emotional and health problems as well. This is true for both men and women. Sometimes these issues are not even a symptom of your love interest being a bad person. These are just the realities of getting older. Of course, despite the difficulty in maintaining a relationship over time, the best option is to learn how to make it work with one woman. The reason why it's so important to get this whole "success with women" 54

thing handled right now is because the stakes will get higher as you get older. Each failed romantic relationship leaves more than just hurt feelings in its wake. It can lead you into emotional and financial ruin. No matter the risks, men and women are never going to give up on falling in love. Even as they glide into their 70's. Unfortunately, the older you get, the more baggage there is that comes with that feeling. If you are a man, you just can't get around learning how to have successful relationships with women. So don't wait, get started today.

55

V Vuullnneerraabbllee N Noott N Neeeeddyy

It seems few men truly enjoy their relationships with women. Despite working on their relationship skills for years it's like they are constantly on guard waiting for something to go wrong. Look, it's one thing to be good at having relationships, and quite another to actually enjoy them. I'll be honest, I don't meet many guys I consider good at having long term relationships. That's because it's rare for a guy to possess both of the main qualities it takes to achieve this goal. The secret for having great relationships is quite simple. Be vulnerable but don't be needy. It may seem like a contradiction but the men truly enjoying their relationships are vulnerable but not needy. By vulnerable I mean their hearts are open, they love feminine energy and they are very affectionate people. They are comfortable both giving and receiving affection. They aren't afraid of being hurt. But don't be fooled. Despite their affectionate nature these are not needy people. These men know they have the skills to meet another quality woman if they ever became single again. This quiet confidence lets them be emotionally open and give love without worrying if doing so will lead to her losing interest. So why is having these two qualities so rare. I think it’s because most guys that crave female affection are needy. They need someone (anyone) to love them so they can feel complete. Not surprisingly, at some point in the relationship women sense this and it becomes a huge turn off. On the other hand, many guys in the dating community go the opposite direction and try to act "emotionally aloof" in the hopes of being seen as a challenge. It’s pretty transparent these guys are just afraid of being 56

vulnerable. Their "I don't care" attitude is an obvious overcompensation. You are desperately trying to learn every relationship trick in the book with the hopes that a woman will never be able to hurt you again. This paranoid mindset makes guys just as pathetic as a needy person. You can't truly enjoy your relationships with women without being a bit vulnerable. And you won't become comfortable being vulnerable until you eliminate your neediness. Women Are Amazing The first step to eliminating your neediness is to realize that women are amazing. But although each woman is unique, the truth is the shear amazing-ness of women is not. There are lots of special women out there. Thus, there is really no need to get hung up on one woman if she doesn't like you back. Your girlfriend is truly amazing. But she isn't rare - there are many women just like her. And that is a good thing for you and the world. You will be very hurt if she ever leaves, but in the end you will be fine. The way one woman can make us feel, I can understand why we would think she is one in a million. But there are many other women who can make you feel just as amazing as she does. That's because feminine energy is a spirit and not one particular woman. Not every woman fully taps into her feminine spirit, but many do. This truth does not diminish the awesomeness of women in the slightest. Women are amazing.

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A Asskkiinngg V Veerrssuuss P Puulllliinngg

There is a difference between pulling women home versus asking women home. A lot of guys talk about the pull - but in reality few guys try to physically pull women home. Instead most guys try to "ask" women home. For instance, the say things like...do you want to go watch a movie? Should we get out of here? Do you have any food at your house? These are examples of trying to ask a woman home. Nothing wrong with trying that as your first option. Of course, asking is a more passive approach. Plus, she has to verbally agree to your sex offer. It's easier for a woman to agree and comply non-verbally than to have to actually say Yes. An attempt to pull a woman home would be grabbing her hand and simply leading her out of the bar. Of course, if she lets go of your hand or doesn't want to leave yet that's fine. You don't even have to respond. Just smile and go back to what you guys were doing. But make no mistake, at least you officially tried to pull her. After attraction is official and the seduction is mutual what is the next step. Most guys think it's arousal and that is true to some extent. But before you worry about arousing shouldn't you first test to see if she would leave with you now. Sometimes arousal isn't even necessary. Going for the pull saves time and let's you know where you stand. If she doesn't want to go with you only then should you try to change her mood using arousal.

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IItt’’ss N Noott Y Yoouu,, IItt’’ss tthhee SSeexx

Some of the most effective methods for picking up women quickly all seem to have one important thing in common. Whether it be putting out a seductive vibe, escalating quickly, using sex talk or being physically aggressive - there is always one key ingredient present that makes it all work. And that is for the most part these methods are selling sex first and you second When you use seductive eye contact and get close quickly you are basically selling pleasure. When you talk freely and openly about your sexual desires you are offering pleasure. When you grab her hand, spin her around and pull her very close to you all in the first ten seconds you are giving her an opportunity to get pleasure. In contrast, when your main focus is on trying to be interesting and funny , saying the right words and bringing the value you are trying to sell you. Now, I know you are a cool guy - but you are definitely not more interesting than pleasure. In other situations you will have lots of time to sell her on you, but to pull a girl you just met quickly I would you argue that the most effective way is to sell her on the idea pleasure. It's also harder not take resistance personally when you use verbal methods that focus around trying to sell you. Here you are trying to convey the best of your personality and revealing intimate details about yourself to her and she is basically saying - not interested. Ouch. You can forget about being persistent. Are you going out at night trying to convince women of the idea of You (and possibly sex) or is your game centered around selling her the idea 59

of Sex (possibly with you). If you are spending 90% of your effort on promoting you and only 10% on offering pleasure you might want to reverse that. The truth is You are not that important. Sex is a very pleasurable experience on it's own. You are replaceable. Not convinced - just take a look at the transfer of buying temperature. You get a girl all worked up and in the mood for sex and then some other guy swoops in and reaps the benefits. Think about it. How much of what happens is because of what you said or did and how much is just that sex feels good and women like it. Is it you or the experience itself? Let's be fair and say it's a mix of both. I know, I know. We would all love to think it was only due to our good looks and awesome game. It can be hard to put your ego aside and admit that your best quality is that you can offer her pleasure. If you are talking to a group of girls, even if you are trying to be polite, why do you still automatically ignore the unattractive one. Because she can't offer you pleasure. It's not fair but that's life. Women are the same way - if you are not offering pleasure you will be ignored. One thing to keep in mind is that sex is probably the most pleasurable experience we can have. We all love to feel pleasure and obviously women are no different. It can take a guy a long time before he finally internalizes the mindset "women love sex" but it seems to click instantly when you simply tell him women love pleasure. I mean it's not like you are out at the bars trying to convince women to watch a four hour football game with you. Just imagine if to get a girl home you had to convince her to run a marathon with you first. Now that would be really hard. When you consider it, selling the idea of pleasure 60

is easy. Especially when in all likelihood she will get more pleasure out of the deal than you will. Keep in mind we are selling a product that women want to buy. That's why it's such a joke when you see a guy buying the excuses women give for still not getting physical after several dates. Again, it's not like we are asking her to loan us $10,000 dollars - we are talking about pleasure here. Would a drug user turn down a line of coke. Well sex is a drug (it releases powerful pleasure chemicals into the body) and best of all it's free. In other words, if there is some "mutual" interest - engaging in an activity as pleasurable as sex is really doesn't take that much convincing. Most times sex sells itself. I talk about how the decision to have sex is mostly mood based. Meaning after a seduction becomes overt and mutual it's really not about you anymore. The question becomes can you get her in the mood for sex (arouse her). I mean you've already shown her how cool you are - she likes you. You don't need to create more attraction (aka selling yourself). It's time to sell the pleasure. Guys know the best product in their arsenal is pleasure. They spend less time selling themselves and more time selling the sex. Of course the fact that you are confident and comfortable with your sexuality says really good things about you. It's attractive no doubt. But don't lose sight of the fact that it's because you are offering her a good opportunity for pleasure that makes you so appealing. A seductive vibe keeps the focus on where it should be - on the sex (pleasure) not you. You are cool, but sorry pleasure is better than you. Sex talk is selling the pleasure not you. You will never again take resistance or rejection personally - you ares selling her pleasure, not you. 61

The game is not about you. It's about her. Girls hookup with guys they don't like that much all the time. Why? pleasure. What can you sell if you are physically not her type. Pleasure. She doesn't like you for a boyfriend. Pleasure. Hey I get it - you aren't crazy about me. But it doesn't matter, I know you will still take the pleasure. In most methods you have to do two things. First you need to convince her to like YOU and then you still need to convince her to have SEX with you. The shortcut is to show her you can provide HER pleasure who cares about YOU. I know you do... but a different way to think about this is instead of trying to sell yourself (qualify yourself) go out and offer pleasure. You know you have a really good product (pleasure). You don't need to qualify yourself or convince women. But you are still out there offering it - lovingly, humbly. When you view game through a lens of YOU being good enough for her of course you are going to talk everything personally and not be persistent. Women become vehicles to confirm YOUR self worth. But if you view yourself first as a provider of pleasure - despite her feelings about you - she will want the good feelings of you can provide them. Focus on Her, Not You I was doing this for all the wrong reasons. I was looking for validation through female affection. Most guys are selfish when they interact with women. Not selfish for sex - they are focused more on getting validation (constantly assessing her reactions to see if she likes you) versus focusing on her pleasure. It's not about you, it's about her. The frame of "I am going to provide this girl pleasure and she is going to love it" will get you through the rough times (resistance, testing and flakiness). Her 62

pleasure is the whole point - you already know you are cool, you don't need another woman to validate that. One of the most fascinating things I learned was a woman doesn't have to like you to sleep with you. I never fully understood why that was until recently - pleasure. Especially after it's mutually on. Why would you continue to sell you. She already likes YOU - there is nothing more to sell. You now sell the pleasure.

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