The Perfect Gift

Published by Phaze Books Also by Jade Falconer Morningstar Cold Hands, Warm… Girls on Film Tangled Web Escape Phaze Fantasies, Vol. III Savior Morningstar: Death and Life Wicked Game

This is an explicit and erotic novel intended for the enjoyment of adult readers. Please keep out of the hands of children.

www.Phaze.com

The Perfect Gift a Phaze Frost HeatSheet by

JADE FALCONER

The Perfect Gift copyright 2007 by Jade Falconer All rights reserved under the International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, organizations, events or locales is entirely coincidental. A Phaze Production Phaze Books 6470A Glenway Avenue, #109 Cincinnati, OH 45211-5222 Phaze is an imprint of Mundania Press, LLC. To order additional copies of this book, contact: [email protected] www.Phaze.com Cover art © 2007 Debi Lewis Edited by Kathryn Lively eBook ISBN-13: 978-1-59426-777-2 eBook ISBN-10: 1-59426-7777-4 First Edition – November, 2007 Printed in the United States of America 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Warning: the unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in prison and a fine of $250,000.

Jeffrey walked the same route each day to the bus stop from his apartment, and he knew most of the homeless guys. He felt bad for them, even though his father always said they got themselves into that kind of life, that they wanted it that way. Jeffrey didn't believe that. He knew some of them were just drunks, but others probably just had bad luck heaped upon them until there was nothing left. He gave them spare change when he could, which wasn't that often. He was on his own for the first time—only a year out of college—and he'd moved to the city six months ago. He tried to get a job in his small hometown, but there was nothing available. So, he bit the bullet, borrowed some money from his parents, and moved away. He found a crappy studio apartment that still cost way too much, but it was close to the business district. He found a job that he was overqualified for, but there was a chance of advancement, so he took it. He figured he'd work his way up—he wasn't afraid of that. He just needed a chance. He didn't have much, and he was a little lonely. Especially now that it was almost Christmas. He had to work right up until the holiday and afterward, and he didn't want to spend the money on plane fare home for a couple of days. He had a few friends, but they were all spending the holidays with family He glanced up at the sky. A few flurries were starting to fall. The weather report had forecast several inches by Christmas Eve morning. At least he wouldn't have to go out; he had the day off. Most of the usual homeless guys were gone. There were shelters open for the holidays, and they all knew they could get a good meal there. But there was one guy left, and Jeffrey thought he was new, he wasn't sure. He had a coat, but it was worn and several sizes too big for him. The man looked tiny under it, and not as old as some of them. It was hard to tell, though. There was something about him that made Jeffrey's heart ache. He was lonely, yes, and he didn't have much. But here was someone who had even less. He stopped by where the man was huddled, and he leaned down. "There's a shelter open on Main," he said, trying to catch the man's eye.

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The man looked up at him, eyes wide and brows drawn together. "Oh, I'm okay. I don't like to go to those places. They tried to make me go there last night, too. The cops." He hugged his arms around his knees. "Thanks, though." Jeffrey frowned. The man didn't seem drunk or high. He spoke more clearly than the other homeless guys he'd spoken to. "It's gonna snow tonight. You really should find someplace." He rubbed his shoulders. His own coat was not all that warm, but he walked briskly and it was enough. The man looked down at his shoes. "The temperature actually goes up a little when it snows," he said quietly. "I'll find a doorway or something, later." Jeffrey bit his lip. There was something about this guy. He seemed so young, maybe not much older than Jeffrey. "Look. Can I at least buy you dinner? A cup of coffee? Something?" His mother's voice echoed in his ear, warning him against this. The man could be dangerous. But he ignored her. The man looked up again, his expression uncertain. "Coffee would be nice. Are you sure?" He stood slowly, staying close to the wall. Jeffrey felt warm inside for some reason he couldn't quite explain. "Yes, I'm sure," he said eagerly. "The coffee place down the street is still open. Sounds good, doesn't it?" At least the man would be warm for a little while. Maybe he could convince him to go to the shelter. The man nodded, smiling shyly. "It sounds really good. Thanks." He waited awkwardly until Jeffrey started walking, and fell into step beside him. He hugged his arms around himself as they walked, and occasionally raked his fingers through his hair. Jeffrey watched the man out of the corner of his eye as they walked. He wondered what the man's story was, and if asking would be prying or rude. "My name's Jeffrey," he offered, glancing sideways at him as they approached the coffee shop. "Nice to meet you, Jeffrey," the man said quietly. He paused at the door, looking in the window for a moment at the people sitting at tables and booths. "I'd tell you my name if I could remember it. So, I guess you can call me whatever you like." Jeffrey's eyes widened as he took in that information. He didn't know his own name? His heart ached for this man already. Jeffrey's father always told him he was too tenderhearted, but he couldn't help it. He really didn't know what to say to that, so instead he opened the door for him. "Let's go in," he suggested gently.

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The man stepped inside and looked around nervously. He turned to Jeffrey, waiting for him to lead the way. "Sometimes they don't like us coming in to these places," he whispered. He radiated uneasiness, but he looked to Jeffrey for direction. "You're with me. It's okay," Jeffrey said reassuringly. "Come on, let's go find a table where you'll feel more comfortable, then I'll get the coffees." He felt protective toward this man. He probably shouldn't have gotten involved, but what else was he going to do tonight? Laundry? Watch old Christmas movies? He led them to a table away from other people. The man didn't look too grimy, but he definitely stood out. He hoped people were feeling the holiday spirit tonight, and wouldn't hassle him. The man slid into a chair, bouncing his knee a little. "Thanks," he said again. He looked around and then slowly pulled his coat off his shoulders. Beneath it was an old, synthetic sweater, unraveling at the cuffs, the color a nondescript olive under dust and stains. Jeffrey smiled, grateful the man seemed to be relaxing a bit. "So, what do you want to drink?" he offered. He tried to subtly study him. He was rail thin, but didn't look unhealthy like some of the homeless. He couldn't have been out there long. "Just coffee would be great. Thank you." He rubbed his hands on faded, baggy jeans. Jeffrey nodded. "I'll be right back." He went up to the counter. He hoped the man wouldn't run off if it took too long, so he ordered two simple coffees. He did add in two Christmas cookies they had on display, hoping the man would nibble on one. He got the coffees and the cookies in a bag, and he hurried back to set them on the table. "I'm just gonna grab some sugar," he said. "Do you want some?" His friends back home had always jokingly asked if he ever took any coffee with his sugar. He couldn't help his sweet tooth. The man was staring at the cookie with an expression of disbelief. "Oh," he said, as if just hearing him. "Yes. Like, four?" "You got it," Jeffrey said, and walked over to the condiment area. He grabbed a big handful of sugar packets and two stirrers, then headed back to the table. He dumped them on the table and said sheepishly, "I like sugar." The man looked like he could use some himself. He settled across from him at the table. "Help yourself," he nodded at the cookies and the sugar.

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The man took some sugars and started adding them to the steaming cup of coffee. He stirred it, his eyes occasionally darting to the cookies on the table. Jeffrey's gaze was drawn to the man's hands. His fingers were long and delicate; they looked like artist's hands. The nails were dirty but not ragged. He tore his eyes away, trying to bury his curiosity. It was really none of his business. He added some sugar to his coffee, noticing that the man was hesitant to take a cookie. So he took one himself, nibbling at it as he pushed the other toward him. "Please. Have one. Don't let me eat them all myself." He reached out and took the cookie. "I have no way to repay you," he said quietly. He seemed to be on the brink of saying more, but then stopped himself and took a bite of the cookie. His eyes fluttered closed and his brow furrowed. "Mmm, wow. That's a really damn good cookie." Watching the man, Jeffrey felt a shiver of sexual interest at the way the man almost moaned. He felt instantly shocked at himself. He'd really been alone with only his hand for company, and now he was lusting after homeless guys. Not that the man was bad looking under the grime, from what he could tell. He had hazel eyes and brown hair, with full lips. He shook his head at his own inappropriate thoughts. He really needed to get laid. But it wasn't easy being in the big city, and gay. He didn't know the right places to go, and had no one to go with if he did. Love, or at least sex, was low on his list of priorities right now, but that didn't mean he didn't think about it. He forced himself to focus and took a bite. "Yeah, it's really good," he agreed, and sipped his coffee. An involuntary moan escaped him. Now that was some good coffee. The man's eyes widened when Jeffrey made the sound. Then the corner of his lips tugged up into a half smirk. "Guess the coffee is good, too," he said, his voice deadpan. That almost smile warmed Jeffrey much more than the coffee. "It beats the hell out of the crap at work," he explained. He sipped again, eyes closing briefly. "Mmm." He took another bite of cookie, licking a bit of crumb off his lips. "What do you do?" the man asked, taking a small sip of coffee. He took another nibble of cookie, eating and drinking very slowly. "I work for an advertising company. I'm supposed to be assistant copywriter, but I'm really more of a receptionist until business picks up."

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It was a job at least, and it paid the bills, if barely. He grinned. "The coffee sucks because I usually have to make it." The man took another sip, holding the cup in both hands for a moment, moving his shoulders in with a shiver. "Decent coffee is all but a lost art," he said, his voice low and hoarse. "I just can't get the hang of it. I follow the directions and all, but..." Jeffrey shrugged, amazed he was sitting here talking about coffee with a homeless guy. "But then, I can't cook, either. Maybe it's related." He wanted to know more about him, but if he didn't even know his own name, he hoped he wasn't being rude when he went on. "Do you remember anything?" The man bit his lip, pulling his ragged sleeves down over his knuckles. "I sometimes I get flashes of things, like I'm dreaming." He touched his temple. "They found me in the park a week ago. I guess someone beat the crap out of me. They said I reeked of gin, and I had no insurance, so after they patched me up they sent me on my way. I guess I wasn't making much sense. But..." He frowned. "I haven't really had any kind of withdrawal or anything. I just can't remember." Jeffrey's heart went out to this man. "That's awful," he breathed, and although his inner voice—which now sounded like his Aunt Carla, the old crone—told him the man was probably a lying drunk or junkie, he believed him instantly. "Did they say if you'd get your memory back? They shouldn't have released you!" The man took another bite of cookie. "They said it'd probably come back when I dried out," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "I walked back to the park a couple of days ago, but it didn't do anything for me. But, the headaches stopped, so that's good. I don't think they really wanted to deal with me. There were a couple of other street people there at the same time, and one of them was kinda violent." Jeffrey worried his lip. The idea had just come to him that he absolutely could not let this man wander back out into the cold night. He wasn't a drunk, or an addict. He was articulate, and Jeffrey knew that he was a good person. He was underfed and weak, after all. It wasn't like he could hurt him. "You..." The words were tumbling out before he could stop them. "Why don't you come stay with me? 'Til it stops snowing." The man's eyes widened. "Why would you do something like that?" He glanced around, and then leaned in, lowering his voice. "You should be more careful. There's a lot of crazy, dangerous people out there."

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Jeffrey couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, and I might be one of them. Maybe you should be more worried about me." Suddenly it seemed perfect. He just knew that with some proper food and rest, the man would get his memory back. He shrugged his shoulders. "I doubt you'd buy me coffee and a cookie just to entice me back to your place to do something evil to me. It's not like I could have anything that you would want." A heated blush sprang instantly to Jeffrey's cheeks as he recalled his earlier thoughts. But he said, "So then there's no reason for you to refuse, right?" "No. I guess not. But you still should be careful." He took a bigger sip of coffee and a bigger bite of cookie, finishing it off with another quiet moan. "I still don't know how I'm gonna repay you, though." Jeffrey felt a spark of hope. "Does that mean you'll do it? Come home with me, I mean. It's not much. Studio apartment, one room, but the sofa bed is actually really comfortable. It's just me and the cat." He felt like such a stereotypical gay man with a cat, but he'd found the animal shelter almost by accident and the six-month-old kitten called to him. Everyone wanted to adopt small kittens, not the older ones. So he couldn't resist. The man's lips twitched again. "I might be brain damaged somehow, but I'm not stupid. I mean, it'll be a hardship to give up exploring the streets of the city in search of an unoccupied shipping crate, but I'll exert myself to accept your hospitality." "Awesome. You want a refill, or do you want to head there now? No coffee there, but I have other stuff." He'd learned not to bother to make coffee at home. "I'm good. Thanks. Whenever you're ready." He tipped back the rest of the coffee and stuffed the little paper cookie wrapper in his empty cup, along with the sugar packets. Jeffrey drained his own coffee and nodded. "Ready." He'd never taken his coat off, so he stood. He was excited and he felt warm inside. "It's only a few more blocks." The man pulled his worn, oversized coat back on and brought the trash to the garbage can. He hugged the coat tightly around himself and held the door open for Jeffrey. Jeffrey smiled at the man's graciousness. Then they were out in the cold again. The wind had picked up and it was snowing more heavily. Jeffrey wrapped his thin coat around himself, wishing he had a scarf. He

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tended to get sick easily and he was almost out of sick leave. "This way." And he led him down the street. Within ten minutes they were outside Jeffrey's building. He punched in the code to open the door, then held it for the man. The door led to a small lobby with mailboxes and an elevator. He punched the button and checked the mail while they waited for the elevator. Not much but a couple of bills and his monthly copy of Out magazine. The young man waited at the elevator doors, still hugging his coat around him. He glanced at Jeffrey looking through his mail, then looked back at the elevator as the doors opened. He stepped inside. Jeffrey entered, too, smiling reassuringly at the man as he punched the button for the sixth floor. He looked so nervous, and he wanted him to feel better. The elevator shuddered to a stop and he stepped out, waiting for the man to follow. He did follow, keeping a little distance, still. He hovered a few feet away while the door was unlocked, then shuffled in after him. "Have you lived here long?" he asked quietly. As soon as they were in the door, the cat approached, meowing for its dinner. The young man crouched down, resting his elbows on his knees, but not reaching out. "Hi there," he said, not making any move toward the cat, just waiting for it to come to him. "Six months," Jeffrey answered, watching his cat approach the man carefully. "Hey sweetie, sorry I'm late!" he spoke to the cat. "Let me make it up to you with some tuna." He set his bag and the mail on the counter and shrugged off his jacket as he turned on some lights. He'd hardly ever had guests in his apartment, and it was kind of odd. The cat approached the young man, sniffing the air around him tentatively. He held out his hand, but not too far, and the cat bumped its head to the underside of his knuckles. The young man smiled as the cat proceeded to rub itself against his shin. He looked up at Jeffrey with a smile. "Neither one of you have enough caution for your own good." Jeffrey leaned back against the counter, grinning. "He's a slut. Rub his belly and he's all yours." The man looked even younger now that he was relaxing a bit. He laughed and straightened up, shrugged out of his coat, and rolled it into a ball. "Do you...would it be okay if I took a shower here?" he asked, his expression turning uncertain again. "Oh! Of course! I should have offered." Jeffrey hurried back around the counter. "And um, I'm sure I have some sweats and shirts and stuff you can wear. They'd be a little big on you but..." Jeffrey was quite

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slender but this man was smaller. He started opening drawers in his dresser. The young man relaxed. "Thank you. You have no idea." He smiled again and put his dirty old coat on the floor by the door in a bundle. Jeffrey found some sweats, a t-shirt, and a towel for him, then carried them to the small bathroom. "Here you go. I have way too much product in there. Help yourself to whatever." he smiled warmly. "Um. Yell if you need anything." He nodded his thanks and disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Jeffrey stared at the door for a moment, then busied himself tidying up. He wasn't a neat freak, but in such a tiny apartment a little clutter looked worse. He unloaded the dishwasher and reloaded it, then straightened out the living area. He found some sheets, a spare pillow, and a blanket, and set them on his bed, which was only about six feet from his couch. He kept looking at the bathroom door all the while. About twenty minutes later the man stepped out of the small room, still damp bangs hanging on his forehead, shoeless, with the sweatpants riding low on narrow hips. The sleeveless t-shirt exposed a number of tattoos on thin, muscled arms. He held his dirty clothes in a bundle in front of him, and put them by the front door with his coat. "Thanks. I feel a thousand times better." Jeffrey almost gasped out loud. The man was, for want of a better word, gorgeous. The grime was gone, revealing lightly tanned, smooth skin, and instead of being skinny he was wiry. He'd shaved; the fingernails on those elegant hands were scrubbed clean, and his eyes were bright and clear. "Wow," he murmured, turning red when he realized he was staring. "Sorry," he said, turning away. "You look great." His heart was beating fast. The young man rubbed his face. "I borrowed a razor, too. I hope that's okay. I don't think I'm really the beard type." He hugged his arms around himself. "I haven't smelled this good in like a week," he said, huffing out an awkward little laugh. "It's fine," Jeffrey answered. He was staring at the man as if mesmerized. "I buy razors in bulk. I shave everywhere." His eyes widened. "Sorry, over-share." His mouth was running off without his permission. He'd been attracted to this man when he was grimy, and now that he was clean, he just hoped he didn't hump him in his sleep.

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The man smiled, blushing. "It's okay. Thank you again. For everything." He took a step closer. "If there's ever anything I can do for you, anything at all..." Jeffrey's eyes went even wider and his body started to react. "Um," he stammered. "Really. It's okay. I'm sure someday you can help me out." His body knew just how he wanted him to help him out. This man was just his type. He ventured a shy smile at Jeffrey. "I swear, I'm not gonna hurt you. You don't have to be afraid of me," he said, gently. He took a seat on the edge of the couch. "Any time you're uncomfortable having me here, you just have to say so, and I'll go." "I'm not uncomfortable," Jeffrey answered. Though he was, but not for the reason the man thought. He'd undoubtedly be disgusted if he knew his kind host was perving on him. He sat on the couch next to him. "Look, I've only got leftover Chinese takeout, but there's lots of it. Are you hungry?" He knew it was a stupid question, but he didn't want to be patronizing. And food was a safe subject. The young man's stomach chose that moment to rumble loudly at the mention of food. He smirked, more easily than he had an hour before. "I could say no, but it'd be pretty obvious I was lying. That cookie was all I've had since lunch yesterday." Jeffrey smiled in relief. "Rad. I'll heat it up." He got up again, and started pulling things out of the fridge. He grabbed two bottles of water and offered one to the man after putting a couple of containers in the microwave. "I need to go change out of these clothes." The man stared after him. "Rad?" he whispered. He opened the water bottle and drank deeply, finishing three quarters of it at once. He wiped his hand across his mouth and sat back on the couch. Jeffrey laughed. "Sorry, I'm from Norcal originally. We say weird shit like that. Hella." He pulled out a pair of sweats for himself, and a black t-shirt. Normally he'd change right here, but instead he slipped into the bathroom and closed the door. The bathroom was still steamy, and Jeffrey realized it was the first time anyone but himself had ever used the shower. Then he thought of the man naked, as he had been just a few moments ago, and he had to fight his body's reaction. He changed quickly, ignoring his half-hard cock until he had to try to shove it in his sweats. There was no way he could hide it. He hoped he'd chosen a long enough shirt.

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He pulled it on, and it was almost long enough. Jeffrey sighed and tried to think unsexy thoughts. Finally he emerged in time to check on the stuff in the microwave. The other man was curled up on the couch, scratching the belly of the now quite friendly cat. "I think I'm either from Northern California, or I went to school there or something, 'cause I've heard those expressions before," he said, not looking up. "Really? Well, that's good you know that, then," Jeffrey answered, pulling down his shirt self-consciously as he set the microwave going again. He noticed the man had drunk nearly all his water and he got out another one. He set it on the coffee table in front of the couch, along with two plates and some utensils. The man's gaze lifted to his host, and he smiled at him shyly. "Thanks," he said. He finished off the first bottle of water and started the second. That smile made Jeffrey's insides twist. He hurried back to get the little cartons of food, then sat beside the man. "Eat up," he said, and started to open cartons. He kept glancing at him sidelong. He was just so handsome. The other man helped himself to small portions of each item, holding the plate on his lap and eating slowly. "So how did you end up all the way here from Northern California?" he asked. Jeffrey ate slowly, too, because he wasn't all that hungry. He was fascinated by his new houseguest. "I needed a job, and I figured the city was the place to go." He shrugged. "I haven't been here that long. I don't know too many people yet." He took another sip of water. "This is really good. Thanks. I seem to be thanking you a lot," he said with a smile. "So, do you bring home a lot of homeless guys?" he asked, a little teasing note in his voice. Jeffrey laughed. The man seemed to be relaxing, displaying a sense of humor. "Nope, you're my first." He sat back. "I'm stuffed. Please. Have some more." The young man shook his head. "I'm afraid I'll get sick if I eat too much at once." Jeffrey nodded. "That's probably a good idea. I mean, if you get hungry again you can always have more." He hadn't grown up with a lot of money, and he was barely scraping by now, but he had never been in any danger of starving. It was hard to imagine.

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"Thanks." He finished what was on his plate and got up to start clearing the food away. Jeffrey stood, too, and started putting things away. "Are you tired? Or do you want to watch a movie or something?" "I am kinda sleepy after all that food. And the nice warm clothes," he said with a smile. "But if you want to watch a movie, I can try to keep my eyes open. I'm sorry I'm not very good company." "You're not here to provide me company, silly," Jeffrey said, smiling. "Let's get the couch made up for you, and I can just read in bed for a bit. I'm pretty tired myself." He had a fleeting thought that his bed was quite big enough for two, but he pushed that aside. He also considered offering to take the couch himself, but he suspected the man would refuse. The young man helped Jeffrey make up the makeshift bed, and gratefully settled down into it. His reaction to the pillow was much like his response to the cookie. He made a quiet humming sound. "Wow, this is really comfortable." Jeffrey's heart wrenched at that, as he was reminded of how good he had it. "I'm glad," he replied, smiling. He got ready for bed himself, slipping under the covers. Only the small bedside light was on, and the apartment felt intimate rather than just small. "If you need anything, just let me know, okay? I'm a light sleeper." He propped himself up on one elbow. He laughed at that. "A couple of days ago I almost slept through about ten gallons of slush getting splashed on me from a truck. So, I could probably sleep through anything." "Well, then you should be fine. I may snore or something, but I promise to do it tastefully." He never wanted this man to be cold and lost again, but he didn't know what to do about that. The man smiled in the low light. "How does one snore tastefully?" he asked. His gaze was steady on Jeffrey's face and he pulled his knees up a little, curling into a ball. Jeffrey smiled back. "I don't know, but I'll manage it, I promise." He hesitated. "Look, you don't have to, but if you want to talk about what happened to you, maybe it will help you remember." He was quiet for a moment, his brows drawing together. "I don't remember too much," he said softly. "I woke up in the hospital, in the emergency room. I was shivering, and there were a lot of lights. The nurse seemed kind of annoyed that I was there. It was like I was

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delirious, and I thought maybe there'd been some terrorist attack or something, because people were screaming all around me, or it seemed like they were. But it was just another homeless guy they'd brought in, in the bed beside me. And they asked my name and I didn't know it, and then I started to panic." "That must have been awful," breathed Jeffrey. "I guess you had no ID on you then." He supposed the man had been robbed. He shook his head. "No. Nothing. Just a cracked skull and ripped up clothes that smelled of gin." He sighed. "They patched up my head, checked me for other injuries, got me a pair of shoes that didn't fit quite right, and shoved me out the door. I asked a few people for directions to the park, thinking it might jog my memory, but I realized pretty quickly that no one wanted to talk to me, so I just started wandering." It was a mystery worthy of a novel, but Jeffrey reminded himself that it wasn't a story, it was the man's life. "I wish I could help more. What about the police? I wonder if there's a missing persons report about you. Someone must be looking for you." Someone must love this man. Family, lover, someone. "I went to the precinct near the hospital and they didn't know anything. I think they thought I was crazy." He was quiet for a long moment, then he started to speak again. "I'll tell you one thing. If I ever get out of this nightmare, I'm never going to look at homeless people the same way again. You have no idea how cruel some people can be." Jeffrey nodded. He knew his viewpoint had been changed already. "I've...I mean, I've given a few guys spare change before, and back home I volunteered at a shelter during the holidays a couple of times. But you..." he trailed off, not wanting to sound creepy. "I've never taken anyone in." "It's like one of those TV shows where the supermodel puts on the fat suit and is heartbroken to find out that no one kisses her ass when she's ugly," he said with a grin. "But then there are some really nice people. Like you." Jeffrey smiled back, his heart skipping a beat. Oh, he was falling for this man. That was a bad thing. He was such a romantic and it was going to get him in trouble. "So you do remember things like TV shows, though. That's interesting." "Oh, yeah. I remember who's president and plots of movies and how to read and write. I just don't remember anything about me, personally." He suppressed a yawn. He fell into silence again for a while before

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speaking. "But I don't think I was a homeless person before. I don't know why I think that, but I'm definitely not a drunk, 'cause I have no craving for alcohol. And one of the others offered me some. I almost took it just to get warm, but something held me back." Jeffrey's heart melted just a little more. "I can't even imagine it. I wish I knew what to call you. I'm so glad that you came with me." He sighed. "I'm sorry. Here I am keeping you awake. Ignore me. I ramble on." "It's okay. It's nice to have a conversation with someone again. But if I drift off on you, please don't be offended." He closed his eyes. "I think this pillow has opiate properties," he murmured. Jeffrey laughed "I won't be offended. I put guys to sleep all the time." Not that he'd ever had anyone stay over here. The man's lips twisted into a smirk, but he didn't open his eyes. "Only by wearing them out, I bet," he said, half-mumbling. Jeffrey gasped softly. It was the first indication that the man realized Jeffrey's sexual orientation—not that it was that hard to figure out—and it didn't seem to bother him. "Well, naturally," he said after he had recovered a moment. The young man didn't answer. His breathing was slow and even, his expression betraying the serenity of sleep. Jeffrey smiled and rolled over, snuggling deeper into his covers. The wind howled outside, but they were snug and warm inside. Within a few moments he was asleep as well. **** Several hours later, the man let out a bloodcurdling scream. He sat up, gasping for breath and bathed in sweat. He put his hand over his mouth and his gaze darted to Jeffrey. Jeffrey was awake instantly and out of the bed before he even remembered he had a houseguest. He nearly tripped over the cat, who was puffed up and looking worried, as he reached the sofa. "Are you all right?" he gasped, realizing it was a stupid question, but it was automatic. The soft light of a nightlight illuminated the young man's face and Jeffrey leaned close. The man put his arms around Jeffrey, leaning his head against his shoulder. "Oh, God. I'm sorry," he croaked. A shudder ran through him. "Bad dream." Jeffrey sat on the bed next to him, gently pulling him closer. It had been a long time since he had held someone like this, and it felt good.

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Too good. He rubbed the man's back and whispered soothingly, "It was just a dream. You're safe here." "Shane," he whispered. "That's my name." He was still shaking. "I remember them reading the name off my license before they tossed my wallet into the lake along with my cell phone." Jeffrey gasped. "That's amazing! Shane...such a lovely name." Jeffrey kept caressing him, holding him close. "Just relax. It's going to be all right." He wanted to help this man so badly it hurt. The man took a deep breath and as he exhaled, the tenseness in his muscles seemed to drain away. "I remember the attack. Or most of it." He shivered again, leaning in to Jeffrey's embrace. "I think...they wanted my jacket and thought I had money. I don't think it was personal." The senselessness of it struck Jeffrey. They would never know what they'd done to this man. "Shane," he said, trying out the name. "It's going to all come back to you, I just know it." He practically had the man in his lap now, but Shane didn't seem to mind. He felt like he weighed nothing, and though Jeffrey wasn't all that big he felt so strong and protective in comparison. Shane nodded slowly, still breathing fast. He tipped his head back to stare into Jeffrey's eyes. "You've been so kind to me, Jeffrey." Jeffrey gazed back, heart pounding. He brushed Shane's hair out of his eyes and said, "I'm glad you're here, Shane. Really glad." He never wanted him to leave. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted it so badly he could taste it. Shane's breath hitched slightly. "I...can I ask you another favor?" "Anything. Anything at all," Jeffrey said immediately, without hesitation. "Could I sleep in your bed with you? I just...I don't think I'll be able to get back to sleep if...if I'm alone." Jeffrey was stunned for a moment, then said quietly, "Of course. Um. As long as you know, well, I'm gay." He figured the man already knew. "Not that I'm gonna hump you in your sleep or anything. Not that I don't find you attractive. I mean, oh fuck, I should just shut up now, shouldn't I?" He knew his cheeks were bright red. The corners of Shane's mouth lifted and he huffed out a quiet little laugh. "I figured you were. And..." He licked his lips. "I find you attractive, too." Jeffrey hadn't expected that. Suddenly the rest of his body decided to wake up. "Oh," he said. "Well, then..." He gazed into Shane's soft

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hazel eyes. "Let's go to my bed, shall we?" His heart was beating like he'd run a marathon, and his stomach was full of butterflies. "Not that I'm assuming anything...oh, God. Shut up, Jeffrey." Shane smiled shyly and leaned back. "It's okay. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything. That was kind of a ballsy request, I guess. Are you sure you don't mind? ‘Cause you can say no, too, you know." "I'm not saying no," Jeffrey said, and stood up, extending his hand to Shane. He was half hard and it would show, but it wasn't as if the other man hadn't been warned. Shane took Jeffrey's hand, grabbed his own pillow, and followed him to his bed. He sat on the edge of the mattress. "Does it matter which side?" he asked. Jeffrey shook his head. "However you're comfortable," he said, going to the other side. He sat down, then slipped his legs under the covers. The man lay back and slid under the covers, settling himself. He turned towards Jeffrey in the semi-darkness. "Thank you. I don't know what I would have done without you." On impulse, Jeffrey reached out and took the man's hand. "You don't have to thank me, really, Shane. I'm just happy that I had the courage to do the right thing. You've changed my life already. I should thank you." Shane pulled Jeffrey's hand gently up to his face and pressed a light kiss against his palm. "Thank me for eating your food and using your shower and waking you up in the middle of the night?" Jeffrey whimpered. Shane's lips on his skin felt hot and so good. "Yes," he sighed. His cock hardened completely. He pulled Shane's hand to his face this time, returning the kiss to the back of his hand. He had to remind himself to go slowly. He couldn't assume this was going anywhere, no matter how much he wanted it. Shane's eyes fluttered closed for a moment and he sucked in a sharp breath. He looked at Jeffrey again. "Thank me for wearing your clothes and talking your ear off with my hella fucked up story?" "Yes, that, too," Jeffrey agreed, and then he couldn't help it. He sucked one of Shane's fingers into his mouth, pretending it was something else.

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Shane let out a moan, deep and throaty and quiet. He stared at Jeffrey, wide-eyed. His lips were parted and he huffed out a breath, his other fingers stroking against Jeffrey's cheek. Jeffrey sucked Shane's finger in slowly, stopping to swirl his tongue around it, in case the other man didn't quite get the point yet. He wanted to be perfectly clear about what he wanted to do to Shane. He kept his gaze locked to Shane's eyes as he did so. "Jeffrey," Shane croaked. He pulled his finger gently out of Jeffrey's mouth and held him by the back of the head, dragging him in for a hot, deep kiss. Jeffrey moaned, kissing back enthusiastically. Whatever Shane had forgotten, it wasn't how to kiss. He was incredible at it. Their tongues sparred and danced, and their bodies were drawn together by their need. Soon Jeffrey was pressed fully against Shane, and he could feel the other man was as aroused as he was. His hand stroked down Shane's arm and up his side. Shane's arms wrapped around Jeffrey and he clung to him. His legs tangled with the other and he trembled against him. Jeffrey pulled back with effort. "Shane...oh, God. I'm so hard for you, baby. But we don't have to do more than kiss. You don't have to thank me this way." Shane toyed with his bottom lip between his teeth, letting it slide in and out for a moment. "I wasn't thanking you," he said quietly. "I want you, too. It's just...to go from not knowing where I was going to sleep or how I would get my last meal then a few hours later to be in a nice warm bed with a handsome, kind man who's hard for me...it's a little jarring." Jeffrey nodded. It suddenly occurred to him that Shane might be in a relationship or even married. That made his heart sink. He pulled back. "I understand," he said. "Sorry." "No, I mean, jarring in a good way." He put his hand on Jeffrey's face again. "But also, you deserve someone better. Someone who at least knows if they are better or not. I could be a total asshole for all we know." Jeffrey shook his head. "You're a good person. I can feel that. That's why I knew you wouldn't be dangerous." He stroked Shane's arm. "I want you. Whoever you are. And I want to help you, too. Stay here with me." Shane swallowed audibly. "Only if...when I find out who I am you'll let me really repay you." He nuzzled into Jeffrey's neck. "God, I hope I

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don't have a pet," he whispered, taking a shuddering breath. "Maybe I can see a real doctor or something." Jeffrey nodded. "Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, so I don't know if my doctor is open. But I want to help you as much as possible." "I almost forgot it was Christmas Eve," Shane said. "I'm glad at least I can keep you company, since you can't go home to your family." Jeffrey smiled. "It's definitely looking up for me. I wish we could let your family know you're okay, though. I'm sure they miss you." He bit his lip, trying not to be jealous of the people Shane surely loved, wherever they were. Shane wriggled closer, pressing against him again. "You would think they would have tried harder to find me." Jeffrey moaned as he felt Shane's body. It had been quite a while since he'd had a lover. "I'm sure there was a reason," he whispered. He couldn't imagine not wanting to be with this sweet man. Shane kissed him again, just lightly. "Make love to me?" That was the last thing he'd expected, but Jeffrey wanted nothing more. "Shane, are you sure? You don't know if you...you've even been with a man before, do you? You might be in a relationship." Just saying that hurt, but he wanted to be sure Shane wouldn't regret it. "If I haven't been with a man before, I don't care. I want to be with you. And if I'm in a relationship, I'll just have to hope they can forgive me," he whispered. "Please. If I am, I might never have another chance to be with you." Jeffrey didn't want to resist. "Are you sure you're strong enough?" he asked. Shane looked a hundred times better than he had just earlier today. Had they really only known each other less than a day? Shane nodded. "I'm okay. I feel fine." His fingers explored under the edge of Jeffrey's shirt, touching his skin gently. Jeffrey craved the touch like air, and he returned it, stroking Shane's hip. "I want you, Shane. I want whatever you want to give." It was all he could think about now. He kissed Jeffrey again. "I don't really know what I'm doing," he whispered. His fingers slid up Jeffrey's back, massaging. "But I know I want to do it. With you." With that, Jeffrey gave in. He wanted it so badly, and Shane was asking. He slid his hand between them, seeking out Shane's arousal. He rubbed at him through the fabric, his own cock pulsing. "I don't suppose you know whether you're a top or a bottom."

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Shane gasped and arched against him, hips pressing forward against Jeffrey's hand. "I know what those things are, at least," he whispered. "What...are you?" "Top," Jeffrey said, the very thought of what they were discussing making him groan. "But if you're not ready for that." He could be flexible with Shane. But he wanted to be inside him, badly. Shane nodded slowly. "So, you want to take me." His hand wandered down between them, mirroring Jeffrey's movements, and his fingers outlined the stiff line beneath the loose fabric. Shane's words made him even hotter. "Yes, God." He thrust against the other man's hand. He cupped Shane's arousal, squeezing it lightly. Whether the other man remembered anything about his previous life, his body seemed to have no problem with what they were doing. "I want to make you feel good." Shane shivered, his breathing increasingly labored. "You've made me feel good from the moment I saw you." This was a dream, it had to be. It was too perfect. Jeffrey kissed Shane again, hand moving to the man's firm ass, pulling him closer. Now their cocks rubbed together through thin layers of fabric, and Jeffrey moaned into the kiss. Shane's hips thrust involuntarily against Jeffrey's body. He whimpered, staring into his eyes. "Should...should I take off these clothes?" "Let me," Jeffrey replied, and slid his hands under Shane's shirt, easing it up. "I want to see you, Shane. All of you." He couldn't remember ever wanting anyone this much. Shane lay back and leaned up, helping Jeffrey with the shirt. He was breathing shallowly, and licked his lips to moisten them. Jeffrey traced his fingers over Shane's exposed skin gently. "So perfect," he whispered, leaning down to rain kisses and caresses all over his chest and stomach. "I'm skinny," he whispered. He tipped his head back, moaning, his fingers combing into Jeffrey's hair. "You're beautiful," insisted Jeffrey, kissing lower. He pulled back long enough to take off his own shirt, then resumed worshipping Shane with his mouth and hands. "You're the beautiful one," Shane whispered. He stretched his arms up over his head, arching his back.

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Jeffrey smiled against warm skin as he kissed his way down. "You're so sweet." He hooked his fingers in the waistband of Shane's pants and looked up at him. "Is this okay?" He didn't want the other man to freak out even a little. Shane whimpered and lifted his hips. "Please, Jeffrey. Oh, God." Jeffrey tugged the pants down, and Shane's hard cock was revealed. He moaned as he could see and smell Shane's need for him. The other man was rock hard, his cock flat against his belly, and Jeffrey's mouth watered at the sight. He looked up, making sure Shane was watching, then he licked him from base to tip. Shane leaned up on his elbows to watch, his eyes wide at the sight. "Oh, fuck," he choked out. Jeffrey looked up and held Shane's gaze as he wrapped one hand around his cock, bringing it to his lips. He licked around the tip before sucking it slowly into his mouth. Shane's head fell back and he groaned loudly. He fell back onto the bed, gasping. "Jeffrey...oh God, feels so fucking good." Slowly, Jeffrey took Shane's cock into his mouth. He explored each sensitive part, using his tongue on every inch. Shane tasted wonderful. Shane was nearly thrashing against the mattress. His long, thin fingers gripped the covers. "I...wait. I can't, it's too much." Jeffrey pulled his mouth off of Shane's cock and looked up. He didn't want to stop, but he wanted more. "Yes, baby?" he purred. "What do you want?" Shane sucked in a deep, shuddering breath. "I want to come when you do," he whispered. "When you're inside me." Now Jeffrey was panting. "I want that, too." He reached into a bedside drawer and pulled out a tube. "I need to get you ready." It occurred to him that he didn't know if Shane did this often, or if he ever had; he would have to be careful. Shane nodded slowly. "Okay." He licked his lips again, and parted his knees, opening up for Jeffrey. The way Shane opened for him made Jeffrey moan. Clearly the other man had some idea of what prep was. That was good. He pushed off his own pants then kneeled between Shane's legs. He slicked his fingers, then ran them down the inside of his thighs. His own cock ached, so close to where it wanted to be.

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Shane automatically pulled his knees high and wide. He stared up at Jeffrey, panting quietly. His eyes closed for a moment and he whimpered. Jeffrey wasn't sure if Shane was upset or not, so he decided to go slowly. He rubbed one finger over his entrance gently, just getting him used to being touched. Shane just moaned, eyes closed, so Jeffrey went on. He pushed one finger carefully into him, biting his lip at the tight heat. Shane reacted, bearing down, and Jeffrey could tell for sure he'd done this before. The other man was whimpering, but after a moment he raised his hips, clearly asking for more. Jeffrey prepped him thoroughly but carefully, and had him trembling with need by the time he withdrew three fingers. "Are you ready, Shane?" Shane opened his eyes when Jeffrey spoke. He nodded slowly. "Yes," he croaked. "Want you." He reached out his hands, beckoning Jeffrey closer. Jeffrey nodded, and quickly put on a condom and lubed it. Then he leaned forward, over Shane's body, and kissed him deeply. Shane's arms encircled Jeffrey's shoulders and he kissed back, invading Jeffrey's mouth more boldly than before. Jeffrey moved into position, kneeling between Shane's legs as they kissed. They were really going to do it. They were going to make love. He pulled back for a moment. It was hard to speak, but he had to say something. "I don't do this with someone I've just met. Like, ever. Only with you, Shane." Shane smiled. "I didn't think you did." Jeffrey didn't want Shane thinking he was a slut. But Shane seemed to understand, so he smiled back. "Want you so much. Never felt like this about anyone." He knew Shane couldn't answer in kind, but it didn't matter. Shane ran his hands down Jeffrey's back. "Thank you. This is the first time I've felt like anyone cared whether I lived or died in days. Please, Jeffrey. I want you so much." "You have me," he answered hoarsely. He reached down to position himself, then began to enter Shane. He gasped at the tight heat of the man's body. Shane whimpered again, bearing down. He closed his eyes, brows furrowing, breath coming in quick huffs. "Ohh, Jeffrey."

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Jeffrey slid deeper, watching Shane's face carefully. "Do you remember this, Shane? Remember having a cock inside you?" Shane moaned, writhing beneath him. His fingers gripped at Jeffrey's muscles and he trembled. "I...yes...I..." "Do you like it, Shane? You like to be fucked?" Jeffrey pulled out and drove back in faster. He moaned loudly, body tight as a bow. "Yess...ohgodyesJeffrey...more...baby...need...need your cock." Shane's words made Jeffrey even hotter. "You're so perfect. Feels so good." He moved faster, deeper, and the pleasure increased. He knew it couldn't last long. Shane was already shaking. "Don't go easy," he croaked. His fingers were gripping Jeffrey's biceps hard enough to bruise. "Oh, God," moaned Jeffrey. He thrust faster, gasping at the friction. "Shane, I wanna hear you scream for me, baby." Shane started to shudder. He threw back his head and cried out Jeffrey's name. His legs tightened around Jeffrey's body as he pulsed over his own belly. Shane's climax took Jeffrey by surprise and he lost control. He gasped and moaned, then began to climax. He pulsed, gazing into Shane's eyes as the ecstasy washed over him. He felt so much for this man already. Shane relaxed back against the mattress. He stretched out his fingers, sighing happily. He smiled at Jeffrey, his eyes misty. "I don't have a boyfriend," he whispered. Jeffrey blinked at Shane, his mind not quite keeping up. "What?" he asked confusedly. "I don't have a boyfriend. I remember the night I was attacked. I was walking alone because I had just had a fight with my ex-boyfriend," he whispered. "I remember other things, too." Jeffrey gasped, and rolled off of Shane. "Oh my God! That's great! I mean, not about the fight, the fact that you remember and..." He stopped himself. "What else do you remember?" Shane rubbed his forehead. "I had spent the evening with some friends, saw my ex, got in a fight, and stomped off through the park," he said. "I can almost picture them." Jeffrey touched Shane's arm gently. "Its okay, it's coming back, don't try to force it." Shane smiled. "So I'm single."

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Jeffrey sighed in relief. "That's good to know," he said. Then he hesitated. "Though, and I know it's premature, I hope that in the near future you won't be single." He held his breath, hoping he hadn't gone too far. "I mean, once you've got everything sorted out. I hope." Shane gazed into Jeffrey's eyes. "Maybe once I know that I'm a little more worthy than an unemployed bum, I'll ask you out on a proper date." "I don't care who or what you are," Jeffrey said. "I just know I like you. A lot." Shane cuddled close to him, relaxing his head into the pillow. "I hope I have lots of money so I can take you out somewhere fancy to eat or something." Jeffrey laughed softly. "It doesn't matter, Shane. You're wonderful." He smirked. "And pretty damn good in bed." "I think I'll sleep better now," he murmured. "Mmm, me too," said Jeffrey, snuggling close. He didn't know what was going to happen between them. But at least now he knew they had a chance. **** When morning dawned icy gray through the small window, Shane's eyes fluttered open and he kept still. He turned his gaze to Jeffrey as recognition dawned. Jeffrey snuggled closer, and his eyes opened slowly. The memories of the night before came back and he smiled. Then he saw that Shane was awake and he smiled wider. "Hi there," he whispered hoarsely. "Merry Christmas Eve." Shane whimpered and put his arms around Jeffrey, holding him tightly. "Oh, God. I remember. I remember everything." Jeffrey gasped softly. "Oh, Shane. I'm so happy for you!" He hugged the other man. Shane was overwhelmed with emotion and he sobbed into the crook of Jeffrey's neck. "I...oh God. I was gonna go home to see my family, but it was a surprise, so they thought I was staying here. So that's why no one was looking for me," he said, slightly hiccupping. Jeffrey stroked Shane's hair and back. "That makes sense, baby. Relax. Do you remember where you live?" For long moments Shane struggled to get control of himself. He leaned back to look into Jeffrey's eyes. "A little closer to downtown. In the artsy district," he said hoarsely.

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Jeffrey's eyes widened. "Wow. Nice." He smiled. "Everything came back to you then?" "Yes." He kissed Jeffrey lightly on the lips. "Come with me? To my place? I would do anything to get into some of my own clothes, my own shoes." He was grinning now. "You don't have to work today, do you? You can bring the cat? Stay over? Spend Christmas, just the two of us?" he asked hopefully. It was all so sudden, but Jeffrey wanted nothing more than to be with Shane. "Of course. Anything you want." He yawned. "As long as you have coffee." Shane smiled more broadly. "Yeah. I have coffee, but I'll bet the milk is bad." He kissed Jeffrey again. "Let's go. Wait until you see it," he said excitedly. Shane's enthusiasm was infectious, and Jeffrey replied, "Awesome! Do I get to shower, though? I might scare people this way." Shane smiled. "Whatever you want, as long as you hurry. Although when you see my shower you might wish you'd waited." Jeffrey sat up and smoothed back his hair, which was sticking up every which way. "You don't expect me to go out looking like this, do you?" he asked, putting on a huffy tone of voice. Then he smiled. "I'll be quick. Then maybe you can show me your shower personally." When Jeffrey emerged from the bathroom, showered and dressed, Shane had already put the sweat pants and t-shirt back on. He had also put on the filthy and unraveling sweater and the oversized coat. His expression was pained. "I can't wait to burn these damn clothes." "I'm sorry I don't have another jacket you can wear," Jeffrey said, opening the closet. He hated to see Shane like this, knowing how uncomfortable he was. He handed him his coat. "You wear mine. I'll put on another sweater." "No. It's fine. In a short cab ride it'll all be over," he said, laughing. "Anyway, as smelly as this is, it is warm." He pulled the coat tighter around him. "You should pack a few things." Jeffrey went to the closet and pulled out a backpack. He put in a change of clothes, a toothbrush, and various other necessary toiletries, including lube and condoms. He returned again, adding some cat food before setting the bulging pack by the door. "Ready," he said. Suddenly he felt reluctant to leave. Their isolation was over. He felt like when he walked out the door,

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Shane would no longer need him. In fact, he didn't need him now, and that made him a little sad. Shane grinned, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "All ready?" Jeffrey put on a smile and scooped up the cat, putting him in his carrier. "Ready." He echoed. They caught a cab and Shane gave them his address. He explained that he had some cash upstairs, and he got the doorman to let them in. He left Jeffrey for a moment in his converted loft-space apartment, and returned with a brilliant smile. "Holy crap, this is nicer than a doorway," he said, laughing. Jeffrey had been gaping. "No shit," he said, wonderingly as he looked around. It was nicer than any apartment he'd seen in the city. "Makes my place look like a doorway," he said apologetically. Even though he'd helped Shane when he needed it, he felt inadequate now. Shane stripped off the coat and the sweater with distaste. He shivered, then took a few steps toward Jeffrey. "Sorry there's no tree. I wasn't gonna be home," he said, sliding his arms around him. Jeffrey leaned against him, resting his head on his shoulder. "It's wonderful," he said. "Apollo approves." He smiled as he watched the cat explore his surroundings. It should have been perfect, but he couldn't shake his feeling of being incidental now. Shane kissed him as he kicked off his uncomfortable shoes. "I could have been on the street for another month if it wasn't for you," he whispered. "Jeffrey, I've never met as kind and wonderful a person as you. Please stay with me." Jeffrey looked away. "You would have gotten your memory back with or without my stunning sexual prowess," he tried to joke, to cover the emotion he was feeling. He'd never felt so raw. He looked back at Shane. "I just did what my heart told me to do." Shane gazed into his eyes. "What's wrong, Jeffrey?" he asked. "Please don't be upset." He touched his chin and kissed him lightly. "Please tell me what's bothering you?" Jeffrey shook his head. "It's nothing, I'm being silly. But..." He swallowed hard. "Why do you need me anymore? You have your memory back. You have..." He gestured. "All this. I was happy to help you. But you don't have to repay me in any way. Monetarily or otherwise." He hated how he sounded, but he didn't want to keep anything from Shane. They'd known each other such a short time, but it had been intense. "I don't want you to feel obligated to me."

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Shane looked a little shocked. "You don't think I brought you here because I feel obligated, do you?" Jeffrey looked down, miserable. It sounded terrible of him when Shane put it like that. "I don't want to think that, no. But, you're handsome and talented, clearly. You don't need me." He didn't want Shane to think he was fishing. He needed some reassurance. "Oh." He let go of him and stepped back. "So, you don't want me now that I'm not a charity case? You only wanted to save me? Is that it?" he asked. "You're beautiful and kind and I thought, well, maybe I was wrong." Jeffrey gasped softly. "No!" he cried, taking a step after Shane. "I just..." He touched Shane's face. "You make me feel beautiful," he said softly. "I really, really like you, Shane. I want to be here." He could feel his eyes filling with unshed tears. "Jeffrey, just because I'm not living on the street doesn't mean I don't need you," Shane said. "This life, everything I've remembered, everything I am. I would give it all up to be with you if I had to." That made the unshed tears spill over at last. "Oh. You don't have to give anything up. I just...Shane..." He grabbed the other man by the shoulders and pulled him into a kiss. He put all his emotions into it, every bit. Shane whimpered, sliding his arms around Jeffrey's waist again and clinging to him. He kissed back, moaning quietly, running his hands up and down the other's back. Jeffrey pressed closer as they kissed, desperate for as much contact as possible. His cock was already hardening, reacting to the sexy man in his arms. He slid one hand into Shane's hair, the other hand holding him close. Shane broke the kiss, gasping. "Bedroom?" he suggested. He stepped back, pulling Jeffrey with him toward a wall of glass brick at one end of the large, open room. "Anywhere," Jeffrey moaned, following Shane. "Anytime. Want you so much, baby." He was suddenly desperate for him. Behind the glass partition was an oversized bed. Shane touched a panel on the wall and soft recessed lighting came on. He pulled off the tshirt and stepped close to Jeffrey again. "It's all just trappings. The only thing that matters is people." Jeffrey knew he was surrounded by luxury, but he couldn't spare a thought for that now. All he knew was the ache of need, of want for this

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beautiful man. He ran his fingers over the smooth flesh of Shane's chest, pinching a nipple before starting on his pants, shoving his hand inside. "So hot, baby." Shane moaned and pushed the sweatpants down off his hips. They slid to the floor and he stepped out of them. "I want you. So much, Jeffrey. Please." Jeffrey ran his hands all over Shane's body. "Want you, Shane, want to be inside you, possess your body." Shane kissed him on the lips, holding onto Jeffrey's hips as he backed further towards the bed. "I've never felt like this with anyone before. Not like this. Not so quickly." "I haven't, either," Jeffrey moaned, unable to stop touching Shane. "I felt a connection with you the moment I saw you." He didn't believe in destiny. But he wasn't going to deny this. He pushed Shane back onto the bed. Shane scooted back, lying down. He reached for Jeffrey, tugging open the button on his jeans. "C'mon, baby, you know what I want." "You want to be fucked, Shane? Want my cock?" Jeffrey's cock was ready for Shane, throbbing with the other man's hands so near. Shane's fingers pulled Jeffrey's zipper down, then explored inside the fabric, curling around him. "I do want your cock," he whispered. He rubbed his thumb lightly back and forth over the slick slit. "Do you want to be inside me?" Jeffrey gasped at the touch. "Oh, God, yes, want it so bad, baby." His head fell back. "Want me to take you hard, Shane? Can you handle it?" He loved to look down at Shane touching him. Shane was panting now. "Please, Jeffrey. I can take whatever you've got," he promised. "There's stuff in the drawer," he murmured, tugging Jeffrey's jeans down. Jeffrey kicked away his pants, and reached into the drawer to pull out a condom and lube. He was so hard it hurt, and he got on the bed, pushing Shane back. "Gonna fuck you hard," he promised. "Make you scream." Shane let himself be pushed, pulling Jeffrey towards him. "God, you're so sexy, Jeffrey," he said. "Take me. Use me. I'm all yours." Jeffrey moaned. Shane talking like that was so incredibly erotic. He ended up on top of him, holding himself up on his arms as he looked down at the smaller man. Their cocks lined up and rubbed together deliciously. "Mine," he agreed.

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Shane's hips pressed up as he moaned. "Fuck, feels so good." His hands slid into Jeffrey's hair and he leaned up enough to kiss him hard and deep and desperate. It was hot and perfect, different from the first time, but Jeffrey ached even more for Shane, if that was possible. He moved against him, teasing them both, then pulled back and purred, "I want you on your hands and knees." Shane whimpered at that. "Whatever you want, Jeffrey. Anything." He shifted on the bed, turning over and getting on his elbows and knees. He spread himself open to Jeffrey. Jeffrey slipped the condom on quickly and opened the lube. "Are you ready for me?" he ground out, running his hand down Shane's back. Shane groaned, leaning down farther. "So ready, Jeffrey. Please. Need you so bad, baby." His fingers gripped the covers beneath him and he pressed his head into the mattress. Jeffrey growled at Shane's submissiveness. He figured he was prepped enough from their earlier activities, and neither of them wanted to wait. He positioned himself and pressed the head of his cock against Shane. "Mine," he hissed as he began to press in. Shane gasped and bore down. "Yes, fuck yes. Don't take it easy on me, Jeffrey," he moaned. "Don't hold back." "I won't," promised Jeffrey, his voice tight with need. He buried himself in Shane, pausing to let him adjust, and to get his own control back. "Oh, God, Shane. You're so fucking tight." He pulled back and thrust back in, pleasure and emotion washing over him. Shane arched his back and yelped a little at the different angle. "Ohh," he choked out. "Feels perfect, Jeffrey. I was made for your cock." "Fuck," moaned Jeffrey. He'd never been with someone so responsive. He thrust deep again, and he tried his best to hit the perfect spot for Shane. He wanted nothing more than to drive this man insane with pleasure. Shane moaned with every thrust, holding onto the bed as his body was jostled. He panted out Jeffrey's name over and over, taking everything the other man gave. Since it wasn't their first time, Jeffrey had more control. Still, though, it took all his willpower to keep from slamming wildly into Shane. "Tell me how it feels, baby. How do you like my cock deep inside you?"

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"It's perfect, Jeffrey. Nothing has ever felt so good inside me. Like you belong there." Jeffrey groaned, thrusting faster and deeper. "Oh, Shane." He reached down to wrap his hand around Shane's cock. Shane's body tensed and he cried out. He came hard, his arms shaking. He was breathing heavily, and his cries dissolved into ineloquent moans. Shane held nothing back when he surrendered, and that made it all the more intense for Jeffrey. Shane tightened around him, and in only a few more thrusts Jeffrey was coming hard. He all but screamed his new lover's name as he gave in. Shane was still gasping for long moments afterwards. He raked his long fingers through his hair. "Wow." Jeffrey smiled as he panted. "Yeah. Wow." He helped Shane to lie down and he flopped next to him. "Damn we're good." Shane grinned and pressed up against him. "Time to try out that shower. Or in a few minutes, anyway," he purred, voice rough from nearly screaming. "Mmm. Sounds perfect. In a few minutes." Jeffrey snuggled close. He never wanted to leave this apartment, or Shane. He'd never felt so satisfied, sexually or emotionally. Shane sighed, a happy smile on his face. "I'm so grateful to have found you, Jeffrey." Jeffrey smiled, propping his head up on his hand. "Me, too. I can't imagine not knowing you now." He looked around. "So, now that we've fucked twice," he grinned, "tell me about the man whose bed I'm in." Shane leaned back enough to gaze into Jeffrey's eyes. "Hmm, well, what do you want to know? I live here. My family is in Northern California. Um, I haven't dated anyone for a while, but I don't whore around or anything like that." "What do you do for a living that you can afford..." Jeffrey waved his hand around, "This?" He was curious, but it really didn't matter to him. He was sure Shane wasn't a criminal or something. "Oh. I'm a record producer." He shrugged his shoulders. "You know, you get a reputation with one or two decent bands, and then everyone wants you, I guess. It's a nice flexible gig, actually." "That's rad," Jeffrey smiled. "I was hoping you weren't something bad. Like a lawyer or something."

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Shane laughed. "Nah. I'm just a music geek that made a few influential friends. It's not that impressive." He kissed Jeffrey lightly on the lips. "I need to do shit like cancel credit cards and all that, but all I wanna do is lie here with you." Jeffrey stroked the side of Shane's face. "Don't let me keep you from anything. I'm not going anywhere." He laughed as the cat jumped up on the bed with an inquisitive meow, and walked over both of them. "At least they didn't try to break in here. They threw my keys in the lake with my cell phone. They could have made a haul if they'd broken in here." He smirked, running his hands over Jeffrey's back. "Oh, coffee!" he said, hopping up. He slid off the bed. Jeffrey sat up more slowly, stretching. "You are far more energetic than you should be right now. Of course, that's because I did all the work," he teased. Shane grinned at him. "Sugar, sugar?" he asked. He leaned over and kissed Jeffrey's cheek. "Mmm, lots," replied Jeffrey, stretching. "I like the service around here. I don't suppose you've got soymilk?" he asked hopefully. "If it's still good, I do." He straightened up and headed off to the kitchen. Jeffrey lay back in the bed, sighing happily. He had never been happier or more content. Shane was sweet and sexy and perfect. Shane returned about ten minutes later with two generous mugs of coffee. "You're in luck," he said, smiling. "The soy milk was still good." He set one down on the nightstand and sat beside Jeffrey, holding his own mug between his hands. Jeffrey sipped the coffee gratefully. "Mmm. You make excellent coffee. I think I'll stay a while." "I hope you'll stay a long time," Shane said before taking a sip of his own. "But I hope you don't expect me to cook. I usually order out." Jeffrey took another sip and closed his eyes as he enjoyed it. "Who needs food when you have coffee and a hot guy?" "Mmm, we should go back to that coffee shop and get another one of those Christmas cookies. God, that thing was fucking rad as hell." He leaned close and kissed Jeffrey's cheek again. "I think they're open today," Jeffrey said. "Can you believe it's Christmas Eve?"

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Shane put his mug down and spread his body out on the bed bedside Jeffrey. "Mmm, and I have the most awesome Christmas gift ever," he said quietly. "A beautiful man to share it with." Jeffrey reached out and drew his hand gently down Shane's body. "We do have to feed you. You need to get your strength back so I can ravish you more." Shane laughed. "Yeah. I'm kind of afraid to stand on a scale. I've always been a little scrawny, but this is ridiculous." He looked down at himself. "I have no complaints," Jeffrey said huskily. He had always had a thing for slender guys. He wanted Shane to be healthy though. When they finished their coffee, Shane showed Jeffrey the shower and they spent a long, luxurious hour touching and kissing under the warm water. They took their time getting dressed, ordering food, then talking about all the things Shane had remembered about his life. When evening came, they made love again on the living room floor before going back to bed. They slept curled around each other, with Jeffrey's cat sitting sentinel at the foot of the bed. When morning dawned, Shane was up first. He brought coffee to Jeffrey in bed again, setting it on the nightstand. "Merry Christmas," he said groggily. "It's snowing outside." "Snow? Really?" Jeffrey said delightedly. "That's awesome." He sat up, beaming at Shane. "Merry Christmas. This is the best Christmas morning ever." He paused. "Well, other than when I was eight and got the bike I wanted." Shane grinned and leaned close, kissing him. "I have a little surprise for you," he whispered. "It's not a bike, though. Sorry about that." Jeffrey blinked. "A surprise? For me? What, are you psychic? Did you run out to shop while I was asleep? Not that I mind, of course." He couldn't hide his delighted smile. Shane blushed. "It's not much. I didn't go out. I just, well, you'll see." He took another sip of his coffee. "No rush," he said, though it was obvious he was excited. Jeffrey sat up more. "You're so sweet," Jeffrey grinned, sitting up. "But I don't have anything for you." Shane smiled. "You've given me enough for this Christmas and next Christmas and like the next ten Christmases after this." Jeffrey smiled. "Not true. But I won't argue cause I want my surprise," he grinned. He looked around. "Where is it?"

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Shane stood slowly, carrying his mug. "In the other room. C'mon." He held out his hand for him. Jeffrey took Shane's hand, grabbing his coffee as he went. He followed Shane into the dining room, and gasped softly. There was a garland of homemade paper snowflakes hung over the table, and heart shaped pancakes waited on a platter. He turned and hugged Shane hard. "No one's ever done anything half as sweet for me," he said, eyes threatening to spill over again. Shane hugged Jeffrey back, grinning. "Well, I suck at cooking. You should taste them before you thank me." "You cannot possibly suck as badly as I do," Jeffrey said gravely. Then he grinned. "I don't care how they taste. You made them for me, and that's all that matters." He kissed Shane once more before sitting down. Shane beamed at him and sat beside him at the small table. "Merry Christmas, Jeffrey. Thank you for helping me get my life back. I hope this is the first of many Christmases I'll get to spend with you." Jeffrey bit his lip. "You're determined to make me fall for you, aren't you? Saying sweet things like that." Actually, it was probably already too late. He felt so much for Shane. Shane looked at him seriously. "Absolutely determined. Is it working?" The other man was too amazing to be true. He was the luckiest man in the world. "Yes," Jeffrey said breathily, all kidding aside. "Good," he said quietly. "Because now that I've found you, I don't intend to lose you." "You're doing a very good job of making me addicted to you," Jeffrey answered seriously. "You're wonderful, Shane. The nicest guy I've ever met, and damn sexy, too." He didn't want to hold back anything, or be coy. Shane was quiet for a moment. He took Jeffrey's hand. "I don't want you to think it's just gratitude. Maybe it sounds corny, but I love the fact that you took in a homeless guy at Christmas time. That you shared everything you had. I've never met anyone like you, Jeffrey. I think...I know it's quick, but I think I'm falling in love with you." Jeffrey's breath hitched and he squeezed the other man's hand. Shane was amazing, how he could just come out and say it, not be afraid of his feelings. "Oh, Shane. I feel the same way. I never thought I'd feel so much for another person. I'm definitely falling in love with you."

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Shane gave him a relieved smile, like someone who had just been expecting the worst but hoping for the best. "I guess I owe those guys in the park a debt of gratitude, then." Jeffrey smiled back. "I wish it had come about a different way, but otherwise I may never have met the most wonderful man in the world."

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About the Author Inspired by the important things in life: beauty, love, and passion, Jade Falconer has spent several years writing erotic fiction. The forbidden nature of homoeroticism has been the basis for many megabytes of fiction that has delighted a wide circle of online readers. Please feel free to visit Jade on MySpace at http://www.myspace.com/jadefalconer.

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Collect All Ten Frost SHEETS! Paths chosen – kally jo surbeck The color of love – brenna lyons The spirit of giving – cat kane Enwrappture – marty rayne Ice crystal – becca dale Suni's gift – anne rainey Stocking stuffers – Jamie hill The perfect gift – jade falconer Baby it's cold outside – ellen addie Potent spirits - Aurora black

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JADE FALCONER

The hottest romance, the most memorable heroines, and the most gorgeous heroes… Welcome to the next PHAZE in erotic romance! Join us online for author chats, writing workshops, and big prize contests with our FREE newsletter!

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