The Most Intimate Wish by F.L. Bicknell Turquoise Morning, LLC P.O. Box 43958 Louisville, KY40253-0958 The Most Intimate Wish Copyright © 2010, F.L. Bicknell Cover Art Design by Stella Price Editor, Kim Jacobs Electronic release, October, 2010 Digital ISBN: 9781935817239 Warning: All rights reserved. The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work, in whole or part, in any form by any electronic, mechanical, or other means, is illegal and forbidden, without the written permission of the publisher, Turquoise Morning Press. This is a work of fiction. Characters, settings, names, and occurrences are a product of the author's imagination and bear no resemblance to any actual person, living or dead, places or settings, and/or occurrences. Any incidences of resemblance are purely coincidental. This edition is published by agreement with Turquoise Morning Press, a division of Turquoise Morning, LLC. Published by Turquoise Morning Press Turquoise Morning, LLC www.turquoisemorningpress.com
For my father who has always loved my legend. All she wants is a husband and family. All they need is for her to believe. When Dinah and Jeff move in to be the Wheillercarts’ companions, their lives change for the better and the worse. Dinah loves Jeff, but after five years together, he still refuses to marry her, and Dinah’s dreams of starting a family begin to crumble. Regardless of their hot lovemaking sessions, she fears Jeff is cheating on her. Dinah will do anything to keep Jeff, even if it means sharing him with another woman. However, strange occurrences and a seemingly psychic landlady keep Dinah guessing about her life and relationship with Jeff. And what about the bizarre statue in their landlady’s atrium? Little does Dinah know it holds the key to her most intimate wish.
Chapter One Dinah waited as Jeff walked around to the passenger side of their Beetle and opened the door for her. He helped her out, pointed excitedly at the house and then kissed her. She tucked her head against his neck and gazed at the big Victorian duplex where they would live happily together—hopefully as a married couple. The large, wraparound porch and colorful flowerbeds running alongside it lent a hominess that warmed Dinah's heart. She blinked against the sunshine and thought about sharing the backyard garden with their landlords as she sat on the patio watching their children play tag... “What are you thinking about?” Jeff asked. “Our lives here together.” “You’re not thinking about kids again, are you?” Dinah stiffened at the dismayed tone of her lover’s voice. She gaped up at him. His dark brown gaze barely touched hers before he glanced away to focus on the duplex again. “We’ve talked about this, Dinah. We need to wait until we have the finances to raise a child.” Her little voice piped up. It berated her that Jeff showed signs of doing the same thing to her that Alex had done. No, Jeff wasn’t like Alex. They’d been together for five years now, but since their talk a month ago she’d begun to worry that Jeff was losing interest in her. “I want a baby, too, but I don’t want one until we’re able to afford the things he’ll need.” Fearing that he’d heard the hurt in her voice, she said nothing and continued to stare up at him. He still wouldn’t meet her gaze. “One step at a time, okay?” “Look, Norris!” a voice exclaimed. “Jeff and Dinah are here!” Dinah turned to find her landlady, Amelia Wheillercart, supervising the move-in for her. Behind the woman, directing the movers through the front door with a scruffy sofa, stood her husband Norris. She greeted Amelia warmly, knowing they would all spend a lot of time together. Jeff had answered an ad in the paper for dependable renters/companions, and the Wheillercarts had checked into their backgrounds. It bothered the elderly couple that she and Jeff weren’t married, but Amelia had mentioned the obvious love they shared and agreed to rent the other half of the duplex to them. Dinah knew there had to be a hitch somewhere. However, Jeff’s persistence won. They would have the extra space for the family she so desperately wanted instead of a hide-a-bed in the living room of their cracker-box apartment. How could she look a gift horse in the mouth? But as she stared up at Jeff, who continued to avoid her gaze, she had to wonder why he’d changed his mind. How could they possibly wait for the finances needed to raise a baby when renting the duplex only increased their expenses each month? What had she done or said to make Jeff change his mind about starting a family? Unease tickled her senses. The year before she’d met Jeff, she found out that Alex was married to two other women at the same time and had children with both of them. Did Jeff now have a secret? Doubt clamored in her heart, but she tamped it down. “Come on,” Jeff said. “Let’s get busy. I want to sleep in our bed tonight instead of on the floor.” He barely glanced at her as he took her hand in his and led her up the flagstone walk. Something hard and cold settled in Dinah’s gut. Glumly, she followed, blinking away the stinging sensation in her eyes. Once inside their new home, Jeff wandered off to direct the movers where to place their larger pieces of furniture. Movement on the staircase captured her attention. There, halfway up, stood a tall, willowy blond man. He smiled at her, the expression radiant, his eyes bright blue. “No, no!” Norris hollered. “Turn to the left, not the right!” Dinah’s attention shifted to the group of men trying to wrestle an armoire through the doorway. She looked back at the staircase, but the man was gone. She scanned the room, her gaze returning to the steps and the short banister section that led to the upstairs hall. “Here,” said Jeff. “Let me get on the other side of the armoire.”
She dismissed the handsome blond and focused on Jeff. A pang of desire swept through her. The sunshine streaming through the doors and windows lit Jeff’s jet-black hair with blue fire. His broad shoulders, tapered waist and nice ass never ceased to arouse Dinah. He was a fine specimen of a man. A startling thought struck her. He’d been rather distant with her the past week, but she’d assumed it was due to the chaos of moving. However, there were rumors at Happort Enterprises, Inc., where Jeff worked, of a promotion to head supervisor. Was it possible he might have been chosen for it? He’d changed his mind about starting a family when the promotion rumors started. Warning bells clanged in her heart. His boss, should Jeff get the promotion, would be a woman. Had this woman or another female employee taken an interest in him? Had this vixen in turn sparked something in Jeff? She sighed. If only he’d just marry her… She battled her misgivings to the back of her mind and began unpacking some of their necessities. An abdominal cramp hit her. She grimaced, clutching her belly, and broke out into a sweat as she waited for the pain to pass. Dimly, she heard Amelia babbling directions to the movers. The cramp subsided, and Dinah straightened. She hefted a decorative mirror out of a crate—what idiot had packed a mirror on top of pots and pans?—and as she turned with it, the images wavered and caught the reflection of golden feathers and piercing emerald eyes. She gasped. The mirror struck the floor. Miraculously, the glass remained intact, but the frame sported a large crack down one side. For a moment, Dinah stared at her bewildered blue eyes in the mirror, her mouth forming a perfect circle. She’d seen something...hadn’t she? Of all days for her curse to arrive, why did it have to be moving day? Nausea assailed her, and she carefully set the mirror aside to plop down on the stairs. Across the room, Amelia irritably waved Norris out of her way. The old woman hobbled into the living room with a glass of water and dropped two caplets into Dinah’s palm. Dinah stared at the pain relievers. “How did you know?” Her landlady wore a sympathetic smile and held up one hand. “Dear, I’m eighty-five years old. I know the signs.” She laughed as she slowly managed to sit down next to her. “You just take it easy and let those strong moving men and that good-looking man of yours take care of everything. You can start unpacking tomorrow. I’ve already made your mattress up with fresh sheets.” Dinah sighed gratefully. “Thank you.” She fought a compelling urge to hug the old woman. “We’ll have supper on our side tonight.” Amelia beamed at her. “Come over around six.” She nodded. “What’s wrong, dear?” Amelia patted her knee. “Aren’t you happy with your new home?” “I’m very happy with it.” Dinah gulped and waited for the prickling sensation in her eyes to subside. “It’s just that I want a family so badly.” “But shouldn’t you wait to start a family until you’re married?” A wry smile tweaked Dinah’s mouth. “Jeff doesn’t feel that a piece of paper means anything. He was married before, but it ended horribly. Emma, his wife, was very controlling and suspicious. Jeff lost everything in the divorce because Emma had a wealthy family with connections. In his mind and heart, he believes we’re already married.” “I see.” Her gaze flew up to meet Amelia’s. “You’re not thinking of changing your mind about renting to us, are you?” The old woman chortled so loudly that a couple of movers cast her startled looks. “Certainly not, my dear! You and Jeff are the perfect companions for Norris and me. I’m just thinking of ways to change Jeff’s mind about marriage.” A derisive chuckle escaped Dinah. “Good luck. I’ve been trying to do that for the last four years.”
Chapter Two A few nights later, Jeff called to say he was working overtime. Dinah had a quiet meal with Amelia. Somehow, the old woman sensed her internal turmoil and poured her an extra glass of deep red wine. “Here,” she said after their meal. “Take the rest of this bottle of wine with you and treat Jeff to a glass of it too. I bet he’s beat after working that double shift.” Dinah dried and put away the last supper dish. “Thank you.” For an instant, the worry that Jeff was cheating on her nearly spilled forth, but she bit her tongue. Her friend didn’t need her troubles dumped on her doorstep. Besides, Dinah didn’t have any solid evidence that Jeff was stepping out on her. It was just an unsubstantiated feeling. She turned to leave, but Amelia stopped her. “I enjoyed our shopping trip today, dear. We’ll do it again tomorrow.” “Oh, I can’t go shopping again so soon. Our finances—” “We’ll leave about eleven a.m.” The old woman waved her hand at her. “Enjoy the night, dear.” Befuddled, Dinah frowned and left the Wheillercarts’. Upon entering their side, Dinah caught the faint aroma of shower gel and aftershave. In the upstairs bedroom, she took the opportunity to change into a new negligee as Jeff finished showering. Quickly, she dabbed White Linen perfume behind her ears, along her throat and on her inner thighs. Jeff exited the bathroom and halted at the sight of her. She strode across the room in her new nightgown, swaying her hips more than usual. The diaphanous material billowed and flowed around her like dandelion fluff on a warm breeze. “I hope you don’t mind. I went shopping today with Amelia and she helped me pick this out. I know finances are tight, but I got it seventy-five percent off.” Jeff moved to the bed, never taking his gaze from her. He stretched out under the sheets and blinked in a comical manner. “Amelia helped you pick that out? Elderly landlady Amelia?” Laughter burst from Dinah. “She’s quite mischievous. You should hear some of the stories she’s told me about being a teenager in the late 1930s. Don’t you think she has excellent taste?” She spun around at the foot of the bed. “It’s been so long since I’ve had something new.” She slipped into bed next to Jeff’s naked body. He silenced her with a sensual kiss. Once he drew back, he whispered, “You smell delicious and you’re stunning in that nightgown. You deserve new things. Why don’t you and Amelia go shopping again tomorrow and get another one. Buy yourself a few more new clothes while you’re at it.” He grinned, and a devilish light danced in his dark eyes. She raised her head from his shoulder. “Do you feel all right? I thought we had to pinch pennies now that we’re paying higher rent.” He laughed. “Happort Enterprises gave me the promotion today. I’m now head supervisor.” “Really?” she shrieked. His grin grew wider. “I’m so happy for you!” “Be happy for us,” he said softly. He captured her lips again, his mouth slanting across hers. His arms encircled her shoulders, and he drew her closer.
She broke the kiss long enough to gasp, “I want you inside me.” “I’m tired,” Jeff said with a yawn. He hugged her and then offered her an apologetic smile. “Sorry, babe.” She stiffened and stared directly into his eyes. “You’re tired?” “I just worked a sixteen-hour shift, Dinah.” His eyelids drooped sleepily. Determined to have him, she slid under the sheets and kissed his flaccid member. “Come on, Dinah...” She licked the head several times, flicking her tongue along the contoured edge of it. He groaned, and his cock thickened. Smiling with satisfaction, Dinah kept kissing and suckling his now-hard cock. She slipped her mouth over it, slathering her tongue back and forth, the head of his organ bumping the back of her throat as she pumped her mouth up and down. Releasing him, she whispered, “I want you.” He drew her up along his body. “You’re cheating.” “I know.” She giggled and writhed against him. “Make love to me.” He sighed, the sound both exhausted and desirous. “I’ll grant you this one wish tonight,” he murmured against her neck where he nibbled the delicate skin there. “Come here.” He sat up, pulling her into an upright position. Dinah wiggled until the nightgown gathered around her hips. Jeff tugged the gauzy material up over her torso, and she raised her arms so he could remove it from her body. The garment landed with a soft rustle at the bedside. He rolled her on top of him. The warmth emanating from him sent a tingle of expectation through Dinah. She loved how his smooth skin felt against hers. She couldn’t touch enough of Jeff, nor could she get him to touch enough of her in return. He captured her mouth again, his hands threading into her long hair, and held her still. Their tongues dueled, and a needy moan slipped from Dinah. “Please, Jeff. Slide into me now.” “No, not here.” She raised her head and gazed into his eyes brimming with desire. “What?” He jerked his head in the direction of the balcony. “You started this.” He offered her a devilish grin. “Out there.” She glanced across the room. “On the balcony?” Jeff nodded, his eyes deepening with lust. “What if the neighbors see us? What if Amelia or Norris see us?” “That’s part of the excitement, babe.” Dinah had to admit the thought of getting caught did intrigue her. The more she thought about it, the more she wanted Jeff. “Okay,” she said. He flung the sheets back and led her over to the balcony doors. Pushing them open, he tugged on her hand, and she followed him out on the terrace. A potted fern, a patio table and two wrought-iron chairs sat on the small balcony. A night breeze caressed her naked flesh, and heat pooled in her abdomen. The distant sound of traffic reached Dinah, and somewhere in the neighborhood a dog barked. Jeff wrapped her in his arms and nibbled at her neck. “Bend over the railing.” She turned, bracing herself with her hands on the banister, and leaned forward, her butt upturned. “What a gorgeous ass,” he murmured as he pressed against her. His cock, hot and eager, nudged the hidden folds of her body. “You’re beautiful, Dinah.” He trailed kisses along her shoulders as his hand discovered her pussy. He slid two fingers into her, stroking softly. Dinah moaned at the fire he stirred within her, wanting more than just a finger fuck. He moved his hand away and snaked his arms around her sides to cup her breasts, his fingers gently kneading them. She whimpered and pushed backward. “Now, Jeff, please.” A car entered the side alley that ran between the duplex and the back lawn of the next house. “Jeff, we’ll be seen!” Anxiety spurred her heart rate up several notches. “Shh,” he said and pushed into her body. She gasped, and, despite her fear the neighbors would look up and see them, Dinah found herself propelling her hips backward, coveting his cock seated deeply within her. The risk of getting caught urged a thrill throughout her core. Her pussy tingled, and her nipples hardened. Dinah bit her lower lip and leaned further over the railing so Jeff could access her fully. They strained against one another, the soft pat-pat-pat of his hips against her ass, the low conversation of the neighbors in the nearby lawn, and the chirring crickets the only sounds. “Mmph!” Dinah bumped backward. She needed Jeff deeper as she desperately reached for that glorious pinnacle. “Quiet,” he whispered. “Oh!” She couldn’t help it. A delicious, scorching-hot sensation in her womb spread to the lips of her cunt and grew more intense, her internal coil tightening...tightening. Dimly, she caught scraps of the neighbors’ conversation. “Did you...pizza...no mushrooms?” the woman said. A male voice answered as if from a million miles away. “No mushrooms...and I...red wine.” Jeff’s cock slid in and out of her, a smooth, rock-hard piston of delirium that transported Dinah ever closer to the stars. She sensed him slowing down and realized he was close to his orgasm. He always hated it if he climaxed before she did, but excitement roiled through her veins, and the urgency for release became so intense that she panted slightly to avoid talking or whimpering too loudly. As Jeff’s hands left her breasts and slid over her narrow waist to palm the sides of her hips, the liquid-fire feeling in Dinah’s womb reached its boiling point. She thrust backward, using her grip on the banister to aid her motions and impale Jeff’s cock deeper in her body, her breasts swaying with each rearward movement. Jeff gasped, and his cock thickened inside her moments before it began to pulse. He grunted and jerked her ass hard, burying his rod to the hilt, his fingers biting into her hips. Warmth bathed her insides, and the orgasm she’d been chasing crashed over her, sweeping glorious sensation through her loins and along her limbs. Her legs wobbled, but Jeff held her hips tighter as he pumped into her faster and faster. Dinah bit her lip so hard to keep from screaming she feared she’d punctured it. She panted harder, relishing the pleasurable aftershocks in her pussy and down the insides of her thighs. The neighbors’ backdoor closed with a faint thud, and the porch light winked out. Jeff milked the last of his essence into her. He leaned over her body and fondled her breasts again. “You never cease to surprise me,” he said, his breathing heavy. “We’ll have to find other ways to have sex besides the shower and in bed.” She straightened as he shifted and withdrew from her. “I’m still tingling all over.” He took her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. “I want you just as much now as the first time we were together.” “Then let’s make it official,” she said. “Let’s get married. We can go to the Justice of the Peace this week.” He released her abruptly. “Do we have to go over this marriage thing again, Dinah? As far as I’m concerned we’re already tied to one another.” He
strode through the balcony doors. “Jeff, I—” “I’m going to bed,” he said. “I’m exhausted.” Why did she have to mention marriage and ruin their lovemaking? With her heart crying out in agony, she stepped inside and shut the balcony doors. She stood staring out through the glass. Within moments, Jeff’s snores permeated the quiet, and disappointment visited her once again. Somehow starting a family just didn’t seem right without her taking Jeff’s last name. Did she really have to be Mrs. Dinah Myers for them to be a family? She looked down at the pristine backyards with their aromatic flower gardens, the moonlight bathing them in silver. She understood Jeff’s fears about love and marriage, but why couldn’t she accept it? And then there was his reluctance to make love to her tonight. She’d won him over to the idea, but he’d never rejected her before unless he wasn’t feeling well. She shook her head. No, she was just being silly, paranoid. He’d gotten a promotion today and was just tired from the long hours. Her landlady’s words earlier that night entered her mind. How had Amelia known they would go shopping again? And what about the insinuative way she’d told her to enjoy the night? She shoved the balcony doors open again and stepped out on the terrace. She glanced at the duplicate balcony on the Wheillercarts’ side. A dazzling column of golden light—sparkles? Feathers? Fireflies?—lit it up, but just as quickly as the image appeared, the twinkling brilliance died. Dinah squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again. The Wheillercarts’ glass door stood ajar, but it slowly closed as if the Invisible Man had shut it. What the hell? She stood gaping across the space between the two verandas. Stress. That was it. Dinah returned to the bedroom and shut the door behind her. Sleep would cure her worries and clear her mind.
Chapter Three A week passed, and Dinah and Amelia chatted in the atrium as they clipped and trimmed the flowering plants. Amelia talked incessantly, asking a multitude of questions. Most people would have become agitated with her continuous prattling, but Dinah enjoyed the elderly woman’s company and entertaining stories about growing up during the 1920s and 30s. Dinah loved the atrium. A bizarre yet fascinating statue stood in the middle of a water fountain. She studied it from head to toe unable to wrench her gaze away. “You’re drawn to my statue, aren’t you?” Amelia set aside her pruning shears and moved to a garden table where a tea set awaited them. She nodded. “I feel like I’ve seen it somewhere before.” “It’s a Tutelare.” “What’s that?” “A special guardian.” “Like a guardian angel?” Amelia dropped two sugar cubes into each of their china teacups and poured their tea. “Actually a guardian for an angel.” “I thought angels were special guardians.” The old woman took a sip of her tea, then replied, “The angels lamented the fact that they were created to be asexual.” “You mean they weren’t male or female?” Amelia nodded. “According to the legend, when God created the universe the angels saw all living creatures could procreate except for them and they wept bitterly. However, their tears were blessed so that when they fell to the earth each one transformed into a seed which produced a child.” “Oh,” Dinah breathed. “What a beautiful story, but how does the Tutelare fit in?” “The angels couldn’t stay on Earth to rear these children so the Tutelares were brought into existence to care for and protect them. The Tear Children were immortal, and although the Tutelares lived to be ancient, most of them eventually died.” She paused and set her teacup on the table. “The Tutelares were supposed to protect them for eternity, but one by one, as each era passed, their numbers diminished. I thought it was a unique and touching legend, so I had an artist create a statue based on their likeness I found in a book of angel lore.” Staring at the figure on the pedestal as water cascaded around it, Dinah asked, “So what happened to the Tear Children when all the Tutelares were gone?” “That remains to be seen.” Amelia reached for the shears. “It is a legend, dear.” “Oh, right.” Dinah laughed softly, realizing how her friend’s story had swept her away. Dinah took a break and enjoyed the tea her friend had poured for her. She sat down at the table and ogled the statue. Gold feathers covered the lithe humanoid. A neon violet crest blazed from its head to stop between its shoulders. It stood on enormous paws, and the long-fingered hands ended in talons. Faux emeralds served as its eyes. “How long have you and Jeff been together, dear?” “Five years.” Dinah set her empty cup down, straightened, and returned to her landlady’s side to finish trimming dead palm leaves. “How many children do you want?” The matron retrieved a water hose. Dinah pondered the question. What would be the best answer to give Amelia without becoming emotional? She always seemed to cry when forced to talk about children. She looked away and clipped another brown, papery leaf. Her long blonde hair fell forward, obscuring her face from her companion. “We’d like at least two kids, but I don’t think we’re ready yet.” The longer Amelia remained silent, the more Dinah’s hands trembled. “I’m sorry, Dinah, but you’re lying to me.” “What?” In her nervousness, Dinah snipped the unopened bloom of a white lily. “You won’t look me in the eye, dear. Not to mention you’re wreaking havoc on my calla lilies.” She chuckled softly. “Sit down, before you fall over or cut my flowers to pieces!” Dinah sank onto a white-painted bench. Amelia gently pried the clippers from Dinah’s quaking hands and took one of them into her own warm, wrinkled ones. “I’m sorry for lying.” Dinah couldn’t quite put her finger on what she read in Amelia’s eyes. “Why lie about having children?” asked Amelia, her tone comforting. “It’s just that I feel like such a failure.” Dinah tried to swallow around the lump in her throat. “We’ve been talking about it for the last four years, but Jeff doesn’t want to marry me—” “You think about it too much.” Dinah gaped at her. “What?” “You think about having a baby too much, which causes you to get worked up about it. And you also worry too much about getting married.” “But the other day you said we should be married before we had any children.” “Relax and center your mind on other things.” Amelia squeezed Dinah’s hands in reassurance. “Life always has a way of working things out. The
baby you want will come in time. Patience brings wonderful things into existence.” The old woman released Dinah’s hands and smoothed the wrinkles from her dress printed with vivid hummingbirds. With an arthritic finger, she traced their wings stretched over one knee, her gaze suddenly distant. “Really?” Amelia looked up, her expression impish. “There are other ways of having children.” “You’re talking about adoption.” Heartache filled Dinah’s voice. She craved a baby, but she wanted it to happen through the love that she and Jeff shared, not fostering or adoption. It wasn’t that she felt orphaned children weren’t special or important—they were—but she wanted to be part of the incredible process that created a life. Was that too much to ask? “Amelia?” Jeff’s voice penetrated the atrium. “Dinah?” “In here,” Dinah called. Footsteps echoed dully on the floor of the enclosed walkway. Dinah turned, a delighted smile on her face that Jeff was home early, but her smile faltered. He stepped into the atrium, followed by a buxom brunette clad in faded jeans, work boots, and a lightweight denim shirt with chartreuse reflector strips on the sleeves and hem. The name Belle adorned the lone shirt pocket. The woman remembered the hard hat on her head and removed it, tucking it under one arm. She smiled at Amelia and Dinah, her blue eyes stark against her olive skin and deep umber hair. “There you are,” Jeff said. “We were on our way by, so I wanted to stop in to say that I’m working overtime all week. The office building on Sixth Avenue is nearly finished, so Belle and I have to get crews started working on the new shopping plaza on the west side of town.” “More overtime?” Dinah couldn’t take her gaze off of Belle. Dread pooled in her heart. “Yes, this is Belle Happort, co-owner of Happort Enterprises, Inc.” “Nice to meet you...?” Belle glanced at Jeff then at Amelia and Dinah. “Oh, sorry,” he said. “That’s Dinah,” he gestured toward her, “and our lovely landlady, Amelia.” He glanced at his watch and turned to step into the entryway. “We better get going, Belle.” “Nice to meet you,” said the woman. Dinah sat down at the table. Her legs just wouldn’t hold her up any longer. Why didn’t he introduce her as his woman? Or even his live-in —something besides ‘That’s Dinah.’ It was obvious to her that he didn’t want Belle to know they were a couple. Amelia set her clippers on the ground and ambled over to the table to pour more tea. “I guess it’ll just be you and me for supper again tonight.” “Yeah.” It took all Dinah’s energy to answer. Her mind whirled with insecurity. For the past week Jeff had been putting in a lot of hours. Dinah had wondered hundreds of times if her suspicions about another woman were well founded, but now that she’d seen his lovely and curvaceous boss, she could only assume Belle had won his heart. Belle was obviously a career woman, so she probably didn’t care about marriage or babies right now. A woman like Belle was a double bonus for Jeff now that he’d changed his mind about starting a family, and he’d certainly made it clear he wasn’t interested in marrying again. A shiver of dread passed through Dinah. Had she lost Jeff and his love? “We’ll have roasted chicken with baby carrots tonight.” Amelia fixed Dinah with a spill-the-beans look. “Too bad Jeff will miss it. I make a roasted chicken that melts in your mouth.” If Dinah took the bait and voiced her concerns, she’d start crying. No, she had to keep her wits about her, exercise common sense and think things through. It took Herculean effort, but Dinah pasted a bright smile on her face and asked, “Will Norris join us tonight?” Since they’d moved in, she’d seen Norris only three times. Once for evening drinks and twice for meals. Not yet familiar enough with the Wheillercarts to intrude on their personal lives, Dinah had refrained from asking about him, but now seemed like an appropriate moment. “Joining us?” the old woman echoed, her expression guarded. “For supper.” Dinah frowned. “We haven’t seen much of him. He isn’t ill, is he?” “Oh, I see.” The landlady stared absently at the clipped fronds on the ground. “No, he hasn’t been feeling well. Norris is getting on in years, as I am, but his health isn’t nearly as good. Lately he’s been staying in our room…resting.” An uncharacteristic vagueness settled in the matron’s eyes. “Let’s get these dead leaves gathered and discarded. Then we can go shopping after lunch.” Dinah had the oddest feeling that Amelia had just lied to her, too. Regardless, she had other things to worry about right now. Things like Jeff and his new, beautiful boss.
Chapter Four Another month passed, and once again Dinah discovered she wasn’t pregnant. Jeff’s promotion allowed him to purchase some new furniture for their home, and he took Dinah out to eat at the best restaurant in town. However, she couldn’t help feeling that he supplemented her with material things to keep her mind off marriage, children—and Belle. He now refused to even discuss starting a family, and never once did he mention they could go to the Justice of the Peace. And as each day passed, his actions reminded her more and more of what Alex had done to keep her appeased and hide the fact that he already had two separate families who knew nothing of one another or her. Their lovemaking had come to a halt. Jeff claimed exhaustion, and even her attempts to interest him by employing her wicked tongue didn’t help. She’d adjusted to a move and a new home, and although Jeff’s job allowed them plenty of money, it also infringed on their time together. Was he really working these hours? He was paid salary now, but did this new promotion warrant sixty-hour weeks? She didn’t want to believe it, but what other answer was there? Dinah didn’t want to believe he was screwing Belle, but they worked together, ate lunch together, and returned to the office together. She imagined them fucking on the office desk, at the job site behind stacks of lumber, or even in incomplete sections of the plaza tacked together with plastic tarps and two-by-fours. And she’d lost contact with most of her friends in their old neighborhood, so she had no one to talk to save for Amelia. But could she really dump all her woes on the old woman? Every time she tried to bring up her worries, she thought of Norris ill in the master bedroom. Her landlady already had too much to deal with, so Dinah would swallow her thoughts and simply smile at her over tea as Amelia spun stories of her youth. Through all of this the only thing she wanted most besides a marriage proposal eluded her: a baby. A tiny, wrinkly, helpless human being who depended solely upon her. The most simple and yet complex part of life remained unobtainable. She wanted a child so badly her heart would clench and tears filled her eyes. But it wasn’t right to bring a baby into this world if the father was no longer interested in starting a family, especially if he didn’t love her anymore. A knock on the duplex’s adjoining door startled her. Amelia’s muffled voice followed. “Dinah? Are you home?” She rose and opened the door. A blond man of startling good looks stood behind the old woman. “Amelia?” said Dinah. “Is something wrong?” “No, dear.” The landlady entered, drawing the man in behind her. “I just wanted to introduce you to Zeke. He’s part of our family.” The phone in Amelia’s living room jangled.
“Darn it.” She glanced at the handsome man. “Excuse me. If I don’t get to the phone quickly enough, it’ll wake Norris.” She left, closing the door behind her. Something about the man left Dinah feeling unsettled and a bit awed. He studied her with eyes so blue she suspected colored contacts. His hair, a bright gold, glistened in the overhead lights. Tall and willowy, he exuded kindness and an odd sense of power. His clothes looked casual, average even, but he wore them as comfortably as his own skin. “I’m Zekial, or Zeke.” He held out his hand, and she placed hers into it. The warmth that spread up her arm stunned her. She felt light, weightless. “You have lovely eyes,” he added, leaning closer to look deeper. “Do you know that the eyes are the windows of the soul?” She blinked, but couldn’t tear her gaze away. An aroma swirled around her, one of apple blossoms and crisp winter air. A memory of a blond man standing on the Wheillercart’s stairway the day she and Jeff moved in flashed through her mind. The front door opened, and Jeff walked inside. “Hey, babe,” he said. Startled, Dinah jerked back from Zeke, but he didn’t break the handshake. “You’re home early for a change.” He threw her a quizzical look, his gaze sliding from her to the blond man still grasping her hand. “Are you complaining?” “No…I just…” Why did he seem so peeved at her? “I’m just surprised. You’ve been working late nearly every night.” “Who’s your friend?” She suddenly remembered Zeke and yanked her hand out of his. “This is Zeke, he’s part of Amelia and Norris’s family. You’re their...?” She glanced at the man, frantic for a plausible answer that would satisfy Jeff. “I must be going,” Zeke replied, his voice smooth, polished. “I’m betting Amelia’s still tied up with that phone call, and I don’t want to impose on anymore of your time. It was nice meeting you, Dinah.” He shot a curious look at Jeff. “Perhaps we’ll meet again, Jeff.” With that, he opened the door and entered Amelia’s home. “How exactly is he related to them?” Jeff dumped his laptop case and jacket on the entryway table. “And how did he know my name?” “Amelia probably told him about us. I’m not sure how he’s related to them. I didn’t get a chance to ask her before she had to answer the phone and you walked in.” Why was she babbling? And why did she feel as though he was accusing her of something? “Nice looking fellow.” He frowned at her. “But I don’t see any resemblance to Amelia or Norris.” “Zeke’s probably a cousin or a nephew.” She shrugged. “I can’t believe you actually got home at a decent hour.” He continued to study her—hard. “There was more that needed done on the job site, but I’m beat.” Her inklings of spending the evening with him vanished. He’d eat, shower and then crawl into bed, leaving her to watch reruns on satellite or buying a pay-per-view movie as she sipped Chablis and gazed longingly at him lying next to her. “Are you hungry?” she asked. “Actually, I’m famished. We had to work through our lunch break today.” “Go shower, and I’ll make something for you to eat.” He paused, his gaze drifting over her body, but Dinah couldn’t determine what the odd expression on his face meant. A horrifying idea struck her, and she gulped. If he told her it was over between them, she’d curl up and die. Without another word, he headed upstairs. She hurried into the kitchen, and, with trembling hands, took out sliced chicken breast, a package of stir-fry mix, and a large potato to pop into the microwave. In twenty minutes, a nice supper sat on the table for Jeff along with a glass of wine. “Mmm…the food smells great,” Jeff said as he entered the kitchen. “There’s a little chicken stir-fry left if you want more.” She filled the sink with soapy water. He ate silently save for the clinks of his knife and fork against the plate and the sounds of Dinah washing the pans and things she’d used to prepare the meal. Her mind whirled with what-ifs, and her heart fretted that he might drop the we-have-to-talk bomb on her. “That was wonderful,” he said and pushed the plate aside. “Do you want more?” She kept her back to him. If she turned around and saw the telltale expression of the coming talk, she would dissolve into a puddle of tears. She had to be stronger, but she loved Jeff so much she couldn’t bear to lose him. She would do anything to keep him—even if it meant sharing him with another woman. “Anything for dessert?” “Uh…” She wracked her mind on what was in the cupboards or the fridge. “No, but I can call out for something if—” A tiny gasp escaped her as his large, warm hand grabbed her upper arm and he turned her around to face him. “We need to talk,” he said. Oh, no. Please, God, not this. She couldn’t lose Jeff. “Oh, hell, Dinah,” he said, “it can wait. I want dessert.” “But I—” He jerked her so roughly against him that she had no time to react. His mouth descended upon hers, his kiss wild, hungry and full of need. She tasted Chablis and the faintness of the mild spices she’d seasoned the main course with. His arms encircled her waist, and one hand palmed her ass as the other flattened against the small of her back. Stunned by the unexpected turn of events, Dinah molded herself to Jeff’s body. Her murmur of surprise quickly transformed into a noise of desire. He was kissing her! He wanted her! A growl erupted from deep in Jeff’s throat. The kiss became brutal, demanding, almost torturous, but Dinah welcomed it and reciprocated with an urgency of her own. He turned with her in his arms and backed her up against the table. He cupped the sides of her face, fingers sliding into her hair, holding her head so she couldn’t break the kiss. As his mouth assaulted hers, a fire grew in Dinah’s loins, and her earlier misgivings abandoned ship. His mouth slanted away, his lips trailing kisses along her jaw line, down her throat, down to the V-neck of her sundress. “Jeff…” She let her head fall back, a tendril of desire winding through her core so tightly she thought she might come without him even inside her. “Turn around,” he growled, but didn’t wait for her to comply. He spun her about and pushed her down over the tabletop. Her pussy throbbed so hard that Dinah whimpered. Barefoot, she planted her feet on the linoleum so that she stood comfortably. Jeff threw her dress over her hips. “Don’t rip my pan—” The sound of material ripping followed a sharp tug on the side seam of her underwear. The scant garment fell around her right ankle. “I’ll buy you more frilly panties,” he said and plunged his cock into her wet, hot center. She uttered a sudden, high-pitched sound of extreme pleasure and sexual abandonment. Dinah clenched the opposite table edge and reveled in the sensation of Jeff inside her. His cock pummeled her soft folds, his hips slapping against her ass cheeks. The hardness and sensation of him deep inside her, drawing back, and then shoving into her again rocketed her to the threshold of an intense orgasm. “Ungh!” She swallowed hard. The sensations rolling through her prevented Dinah from forming intelligent words about wanting or needing him. Jeff let loose of her hips and drew her upward so he could cup her breasts. The shift in position decreased the deepness in which he penetrated her. Whimpering in protest, she quickly changed her mind about the position as his fingers tweaked her pert nipples, shooting lightning bolts to her pussy.
She gasped, wanting him to tug harder on them and simultaneously bend her over the table and fuck her so hard she saw stars. He grunted, his hand drifting down the front of her to flick the nub of her labia. She hissed in passion, but just as quickly, Jeff changed their position again and nudged her back over the tabletop. He sucked in a deep breath. “Can’t get enough!” Dinah seized the opportunity to raise her hips and thrust backward, taking his full length into her. Jeff rewarded her with a deep, guttural sound of delight, but he pulled out. “Don’t stop now!” She found herself turned over on her back, her butt on the tabletop as Jeff pushed her knees aside and palmed her ass. He slid into her again. Dinah groaned in ecstasy and snapped her legs around his waist in a vise-like grip. He pounded into her, scooting her across the tabletop until her head bumped the dishes. The discarded plate and wine glass shattered on the floor, and with that sound, something urged Jeff toward his release. Dinah reveled in the animalistic way that he made love to her. Whatever had caused the change in Jeff didn’t matter. He was loving her, enjoying her body, giving her attention. His cock hardened a fraction more, followed by a throbbing sensation deep within her body. Jeff stiffened and he seemed to convulse, a shout of relief bursting from him. The feeling of warmth coating her insides shoved Dinah over the edge. The walls of her sheath tightened and then transformed into a rhythmic pulsation that forced cries of delight and ecstasy from her lips as she rode out the waves of euphoria. She bucked her hips over and over, her legs drawing tighter around him, urging a startled sound from her lover, who grasped her thighs as he held her in place on the tabletop. He coaxed the last bit of himself into her body, and Dinah accepted it with giddy recklessness, their breathing ragged, sweat sheening their bodies. Jeff helped her sit up, his cock sliding out of her. “I needed that,” he said. “I didn’t know you could be so crazy, so—wow.” “I’ve missed you.” She nuzzled his neck, and he rewarded her with his arms around her waist as he hugged her. “I’ll go wipe off and wait for you upstairs.” Pausing, he added, “Want me to sweep that up?” Jeff nodded at the broken glass littering the floor. “No, it’ll only take a few minutes to clean up down here then I’ll join you.” “I thought we already did that.” She blinked, and finally his poor attempt at a joke registered. She swatted his arm and hopped down off the table. In return, he smacked her ass. Quickly, she swept up the debris, tossed it in the trash and sprayed the table with disinfectant. Once the tile top was clean and other stray items put away, Dinah threw her tattered panties into the garbage pail and hurried upstairs, unbuttoning the front of her dress. “If you haven’t already cleaned up, maybe we can shower…” She paused in the bedroom doorway. Sound asleep, Jeff lay sprawled on his belly across the bed. Soft snores escaped him, his head turned to one side, arms bowed over his head. A combination of disappointment and sympathy filled Dinah. She managed to tug the afghan out from under her lover and covered him with it. There was no way she’d get him to move over, so she showered, put on a comfortable pair of pajamas and made her bed on the living room couch. Watching another rerun of NCIS, Dinah didn’t know whether to be relieved that Jeff had made love to her or not. Somehow, someway she knew something was wrong.
Chapter Five The following morning, Jeff rose and left without waking Dinah. She felt lost and—she hated to admit it—used. But she reassured herself that Jeff was truly working long hours. The man had been exhausted last night, right? And he’d crashed immediately after their sizzling tryst in the kitchen, so that had taken the last bit of strength out of him. So why couldn’t she rid herself of the nagging sensation that he was lying to her, that he was interested in someone else, most likely Belle? That was stupid. Jeff wouldn’t screw her as well as another woman, would he? Strike that. She hadn’t thought Alex was capable of such a thing either, but she eventually discovered that she was woman number three. Amelia coached her through the day. Ashamed of herself, Dinah couldn’t help but wonder why she couldn’t be stronger. There was more to life than being a wife and mother, so why couldn’t she convince herself of that? And if Jeff was seeing another woman, would he have made love to her last night like a man possessed? Didn’t that prove he missed her? It just didn’t make sense. Nothing made sense anymore. That afternoon, she and Amelia returned from a trip to the grocery store. As she swung bags out of the back of Amelia’s Cube, she looked up to see a man scrutinizing her from the Wheillercarts’ bedroom window. Startled, she dropped one of the bags, spilling a carton of eggs on the drive. “Dinah?” Instantly, Amelia appeared at her side and took the other sack from her trembling grasp. Dinah uttered a little scream and sidestepped Amelia. “Goodness! What is wrong?” The elderly matron stared at her as if she’d just turned green. Dinah pointed up at the lace-curtained window. “There was a man up there.” Amelia’s gaze moved upward. “No one there now, dear.” “I know I saw a man.” “Then it was probably just Norris checking to see who pulled in the driveway.” Shaking her head, Dinah insisted, “It wasn’t Norris! This man was younger.” “Maybe it was Zeke. Since Norris has been ill, Zeke has been dropping by from time to time.” Amelia shook bits of eggshell and goo from the spilled sack. Dinah frowned and looked around the drive. “I don’t see his car.” The old woman glanced up from where she knelt amongst the jumbled groceries, a trace of irritation in her vibrant eyes. “Sometimes he walks over here.” She returned to cleaning up the driveway omelet. “It’s just that...” Something in her landlady’s demeanor told her to drop the subject. What the hell was going on? Positive that Amelia had lied to her again, Dinah wondered if she and Norris were hiding some horrible secret. As her landlady returned the spilled items to the rumpled paper bag, a flash of something bright where Amelia’s sleeve met her wrist caught Dinah’s attention. It wasn’t a bracelet or a watch. The woman never wore jewelry, not even earrings. The glimpse had been so fleeting Dinah wasn’t certain she’d actually seen it. Amelia passed her the groceries. “Your bread is a little squashed. I’ll get the hose out in a few minutes and wash the eggs off the drive.” Dinah peered up at the window again. No one was there. “I got some maple nut ice cream.” She turned and glanced back at the driveway where she’d spilled the groceries. Two feathers skittered across the blacktop, one’s color like a new gold coin, the other large, downy and pristine white. They glittered in the sunshine. The gold one spun briefly on its quill as the breeze soughed up the street and under the car to whisk it away into the neighbor’s flower garden. The white one floated over the trunk to spiral up, up into the dazzling sunshine. What sorts of birds had feathers that size, especially in a big town? She started to walk across the yard to the neighbor’s, but Amelia’s voice cut into her thoughts.
“Fantastic!” Amelia chuckled. “We’ll have the ice cream for dessert tonight. Norris complains the nuts get stuck under his dentures but that doesn’t stop him from always having two bowls!” She shut the trunk and took Dinah by the elbow, pointedly steering her to the back of the duplex. “Let’s have tea in the atrium.” “But...” She sighed. “Okay, I’ll be right over.” Why fight the old gal? Maybe Dinah provided her more comfort during Norris’s illness than she first realized. She hurried inside, freshened up, and returned to Amelia’s where she sat sipping an herbal blend with her aged friend. A stabbing headache pierced her skull. At first she passed it off as stress, but moments later, Dinah realized the discomfort in her abdomen was a warning sign. Staring at her sympathetically, Amelia rose. “I don’t have any Tylenol but there’s ibuprofen upstairs in the hall bathroom. Go help yourself, and I’ll make sandwiches. We should’ve had dinner an hour ago.” How did she do that? It was bad enough that the old woman had a maddening evasiveness about her, but Amelia’s uncanny sense of knowing things always startled Dinah. Her landlady hurried into the kitchen, and Dinah ascended the stairs. Upon detecting movement in the hall, she paused at the top step. “Norris?” She strode sedately down the plush corridor. “I just came upstairs to get something for a headache.” The bathroom door swung open just as she reached it. Dinah gasped, stumbling back. “I’m so sorry! I thought you were Norris,” she gushed. The man stared at her. “You must be Norris’s son. Maybe a nephew?” Her voice trembled. “I saw you looking down at me from the window earlier. I have to say you gave me quite a start.” She extended her hand. “My name is—” “Dinah.” He smiled. “I know all about you and your fellow. Amelia tells me you’re good people.” His voice reminded her of velvet. “You could certainly pass as Norris’s son.” He smiled. “I didn’t get your name.” He firmly shook her outstretched hand, then without answering, turned and walked down the corridor to the master bedroom. He shut the door, and the lock engaged. Struck dumb, Dinah could only gape at the closed door. **** The next afternoon, Dinah strolled through a store at the local mall, searching for Amelia. She found her in the baby section. The old woman contemplated two darling sleepers slung across her arm. “Someone having a baby?” Dinah inquired, feeling a little self-pity and a stab of jealousy at this unknown and auspicious woman. “Don’t get bent out of shape,” Amelia retorted, once again knowing her friend’s thoughts. “This is for you.” Dinah’s mouth dropped open. “I believe you should pick your chin up off the floor, dear.” The matron’s eyes glimmered with amusement. “Someone might step on it, probably you. ” “Why on earth are you buying me baby clothes?” Her landlady’s bright verdant eyes possessed a knowing smile. “Just a feeling I have.” After a lot of pestering from Dinah, Amelia politely told her to shut up. With curiosity eating at her for the rest of the day, Dinah failed miserably at keeping her attention on immediate matters. At a little after five p.m., Jeff telephoned to say he was working late again, so at six, Amelia took things into her own hands and arrived with two TV dinners and a bottle of red wine. “Want to play cards?” Amelia asked Dinah as they cleaned up their supper debris. “Sure,” Dinah said. “Let me go change into my robe.” On her way out of her bedroom, she noticed light spilling under the guest room door. Cautiously, Dinah peeked inside. Painted balloons and teddy bears adorned the furniture, and pink-and-blue-striped wallpaper replaced the beige walls. How did a brass bassinet that would have pleased royalty get there? “It can’t be,” Dinah squeaked as she stared at the magnificent nursery. Amelia stood at a small dresser, placing the purchased sleepers inside it. Glancing over a slumped shoulder, she asked, “What can’t be, dear?” “The room—” Dinah blinked and saw the room as it really was: a single bed with a patchwork quilt over it, cream-colored walls, gold carpet, straight-backed chair at one window, and a plain little dresser against one wall. Perplexed, Dinah shivered at the weird sensation that washed over her. “I went next door and got the baby clothes,” Amelia shut the drawer, “because I forgot to give them to you earlier. I didn’t think you’d mind if I put them away.” “That’s fine,” Dinah mumbled. “Let’s go play cards. I’ll make some coffee.” **** For the next week, Dinah contemplated telling Jeff about the phantom nursery. He’d probably think she was hallucinating because she craved a child so badly. Even she had begun to wonder if perhaps she was seeing things, or worse, going crazy. Amelia acted unconcerned, which confirmed Dinah’s suspicions. She had to get her mind off of babies. And she needed to put the matter of whether or not Jeff was seeing Belle to rest too. Was it possible to want something so much that a person started seeing things that weren’t there? If so, why had Amelia purchased the infant clothes? Finally, she missed a period. So excited she couldn’t sit or stand still, she made a doctor’s appointment. The physician took blood and urine samples then told her to go home. His office would call her with the results later. This cinched it. If she was pregnant with Jeff’s child then she had to put her worries about Belle to rest. And, if there was something going on between Belle and Jeff, she’d have to figure out how to get the woman out of his life. What if she confronted him about Belle? No, she couldn’t do that. His first wife, Emma, had been controlling and suspicious of everything he ever did or said. She had to talk to Belle first. If she suspected anything, or Belle admitted to being in a relationship with Jeff, then Dinah could confront him. Jeff had been sent to a temporary job site for a couple of days to handle a problem. That meant Belle was working at the new plaza without him, so maybe Dinah could catch her alone for a few minutes. She grabbed her purse and keys and drove over to the west side of town. After asking several construction workers about Belle’s whereabouts, she discovered the brunette in the company’s trailer office. Belle looked up from a desk scattered with blueprints. At first she didn’t recognize Dinah, but a moment later, something flared in her eyes. “Donna?” said Belle. “What can I do for you?” “It’s Dinah, and I’m here to talk about Jeff.”
A guarded expression shone in Belle’s eyes. “What about him?” “This isn’t just about Jeff. It’s about you too.” “I don’t under...” She sighed and tossed a pen down on the blueprints. “Ah, I see. He’s told you.” That one simple sentence prompted Dinah’s world to crumble in around her. “You mean it’s true?” She waited. The woman met her gaze. At least she had the decency to look her in the eye. “You...you and Jeff...?” “I’m sorry.” Belle sighed heavily. “It was a mistake.” “How dare you!” Dinah clenched her purse so tightly her knuckles ached. “Where do you get off wrecking our lives?” Belle stood up. “Look, I shouldn’t have even given him the promotion. There are two other employees with seniority over him who are just as qualified, but I wanted Jeff. I admit that.” “You bitch,” Dinah whispered. She snatched up a clipboard hanging on a hook by the door and heaved it at Belle so hard the papers tore loose and fluttered to the floor. Ducking the clipboard, Belle stared at her with wide, shocked eyes. The clipboard hit a filing cabinet behind her, the metallic clang loud in the small confines of the trailer. “You’ve ruined everything,” Dinah shouted. “You selfish, unfeeling bitch.” Fury settled over Belle’s face. “Get out!” Her voice changed from soft and sultry to high-pitched and tinny. “Don’t ever let me catch you on these premises again—or within a hundred yards of me!” Incensed, Dinah contemplated thrashing the slut, but thought better of it. If she was pregnant, she didn’t want to do anything that might harm her child. Numb, her brain buzzing with denial and horror, Dinah turned and stepped down out of the trailer. She didn’t want to believe it, but her relationship with Jeff was over. How could he do this to her?
Chapter Six Dinah didn’t remember the drive home. She still struggled to comprehend that her suspicions about Jeff and Belle had been correct. All her dreams—their dreams—for the future together had gone up in smoke. No, that wasn’t true. Her life with Jeff had been yet another lie, just like the one Alex had fed her. She parked the Beetle in the drive, got out, and followed the flagstones around to the backside of the duplex. Inside, she discovered Jeff waiting for her. “You’re home?” She glanced at her wristwatch. “At two in the afternoon?” He chuckled. “I thought I’d surprise you.” “How’d you manage to get the afternoon off?” She struggled to keep the skepticism out of her voice. “I’m the head supervisor. Belle said for me to go home and enjoy some time off.” She stood awkwardly clutching her handbag. A worried expression drifted over his features. “You act like you’re not happy I’m home.” She swallowed. No, she couldn’t cry, wouldn’t cry. But no matter how hard she fought it, the tears coursed down her face, and a sob wrenched loose from her. “Babe?” Jeff crossed the living room. “What’s wrong?” “I know you’ve been screwing Belle.” “What?” He stopped short in the center of the room. She hurled her purse at the entryway table. It struck it, bounced off, landing on the tile by the door. A tube of lipstick, some change and a compact tumbled out of it to skitter across the floor. “You have a new job, but it certainly wasn’t keeping you away from home sixty plus hours a week.” His dark eyes assessed her with first shock then indignation. He raked one hand through his hair. “I don’t believe this shit.” Another sob burst from Dinah. “I know it’s true, Jeff, so don’t lie to me anymore.” He sighed and stood glaring at her. “The truth?” She nodded. Belle had already told her the truth, but she needed closure, needed to hear Jeff say it too. “No, I’m not fucking Belle, but your lack of trust in me proves how you feel about me.” Blinking, she said, “No more lies, Jeff! Belle told me about the two of you. I know how you got your promotion and that she’d had her sites set on you from day one.” “Dammit, Dinah! Just because you don’t have a wedding band on your finger doesn’t mean I’m going to fuck around on you! That damn gold ring means nothing! Nothing! I can fuck anyone I want—wedding band or not.” He whirled, snatched his wallet off the coffee table and stuffed it into his back hip pocket. “But I have never been with Belle or any other woman for that matter.” “She said that—” “I don’t give a rat’s ass what that bitch said,” he snarled. “I have never slept with her.” He paused, obviously wrestling with himself. Finally, his breathing slowed, and, his voice calmer, he added, “She made pass after pass at me. I even found her naked in the company office, the sofa pulled out into a bed, but I turned her down. I found out yesterday how I’d gotten my promotion. One of the men with seniority told me. When I confronted Belle about it, she admitted that it was her way of getting me to sleep with her. I refused her again, and she fired me.” “She...?” Dinah’s mind reeled at the revelation. “You’re saying that she—” “But you’re so damn insecure that you assumed the worse and couldn’t even talk to me about it.” He shook his head, snorting derisively. “I’m out of here. I don’t need this headache. I thought I left this shit behind me when my marriage with Emma ended.” He stuffed his feet into his sneakers on the floor at the end of the couch. “I’ll send for my things in a couple of days.” The reality of what she’d done descended on her in an avalanche of stupidity and selfishness. “Jeff, please! Let’s talk about this.” “Forget it, Dinah. You could’ve talked to me about this and chose not to. Without trust, we have nothing.” He stormed past her, jerked the door open and slammed it behind him. A picture jittered on the wall and fell to the floor. “Jeff!” She flung the door open and charged outside, but he was already backing out of the drive. “Jeff wait! Please!” She crumpled to the ground next to the driveway and cried so hard she couldn’t see. Warm arms encircled her and lifted her to her feet. “Come on, dear. Let’s go inside.” Amelia patted Dinah’s shoulder as she walked her to the other side of the duplex. “We don’t need the neighbors spreading gossip, now do we?” **** “I really screwed things up, Amelia.” Dinah snatched another tissue from the box on the table. She glanced up at the Tutelare standing in the fountain, wishing that there was some sort of magic in the world that could cure all her worries and problems. “Jeff will never forgive me.” Amelia poured two cups of tea. She slipped a flask of Irish whiskey from her dress pocket, and dribbled half a shot into each one, followed by two cubes of sugar for each cup. “He’ll come back.” “How do you know?” She tore her gaze from the statue’s emerald eyes and stared at her aged landlady.
“He loves you.” “But I accused him of cheating.” “Well, that woman did lead you to believe the wrong thing.” The lump of hopelessness beneath Dinah’s breast grew larger, colder. “Jeff said he’d send for his things in a couple days.” The old woman sighed. “He didn’t mean it, Dinah. He’s hurting. We all lash out with nasty words when someone hurts or shocks us.” “I don’t know...” “Drink your tea, dear.” She wrinkled her nose at the odor of liquor in her tea, but did as her friend bade her. “I feel so stupid,” she whispered, her heart feeling as though it was dissolving in her chest. “That’s part of hindsight, dear. It does that to all of us.” She reached across the table and patted Dinah’s hand. “Now tell me why you have such fears.” Dinah shook her head and took another sip of tea. The warmth of the whiskey spread throughout her stomach and into her limbs. “I can’t lay my dumb fears and insecurities at your doorstep. You have enough to worry about with Norris being ill.” “Norris is a fighter and tough as nails,” Amelia replied. “We manage. Besides, we’re friends, right?” At that, fresh tears streamed down Dinah’s cheeks and she began her story about how Alex had duped her. She voiced her worries about Belle the past few weeks, her confrontation with the woman, and she relayed everything about her fight with Jeff. “And what about Jeff and his aversion to marriage?” the old woman questioned. “You mentioned something once about how his first wife—what was her name? Emma?—who took him for everything.” “Yes,” Dinah held her cup out for more whiskey-laced tea, “she really ripped his heart out and took him to the cleaners, but she was selfish and controlling too. She got all of Jeff’s real estate, even a vacation home in Puerto Rico, and he lost his job because Emma’s father pulled some strings. She controlled everything in the divorce, which is another big reason Jeff is sour about marriage. When we met, he’d just started working for Happort Enterprises. And now, because of me, he’s unemployed again.” “Dinah, stop blaming yourself. That woman fired Jeff because he refused to sleep with her, not because he’s in love with you.” “But I still can’t help feeling that...” “Let me guess.” Her landlady sat back and folded her hands on the tabletop. “The fact that you suspected he was messing around on you then you confronting Belle has made him feel that you’re trying to control him like Emma did.” Dinah nodded and took another gulp of tea. “Sounds to me like you’re both letting your insecurities rule your lives and your relationship when you should rely solely on your love.” Amelia poured a little less whiskey in Dinah’s cup this time. “Now, you finish this cup of tea, go home, take a nap and then when you awaken, your mind will be clear. You should think about what you’re going to say to Jeff when he returns.” “But what if he doesn’t come back?” “Dear, I’ve lived a long life and have seen many things, met many people. Jeff will be back. Trust me.”
Chapter Seven Early that evening, she came downstairs to find Jeff standing in the center of the living room as if he were a lost little boy. “Jeff?” “Dinah. I...I came to pick up a few clothes.” “I’m sorry, Jeff. I’m sorry for not having faith in you, for not talking to you. I let what Alex did to me rule my life and taint our relationship. I should’ve talked to you about it, but instead I took matters into my own hands and confronted Belle, believing her lies. I was wrong, and I’m so very, very sorry.” Tears trickled down her face, which angered her. She wanted to be strong, damn it. She knuckled them away from her cheeks and stood waiting for Jeff to say something, anything. Her lower lip trembled, and she bit it. He stared at the carpet and jammed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. Oh, what had she done? He was so handsome standing there beneath the small chandelier, his coal-black hair glimmering with silver and blue highlights, his polo shirt rumpled, Reeboks untied. Even though he looked rough around the edges—exhausted in fact—he was such a striking man, one who possessed a beautiful mind, a keen sense of humor, and who had always treated her with respect and lavished her with love. She’d been so wrapped up in her insecurities, her selfish wants and needs that she’d taken him for granted. He’d truly been working his ass off to take care of her. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore,” she pressed, “but I just want you to know that I’m wrong and that I love you more than anything.” “I owe you an apology too,” he said hesitantly. “No, you don’t.” He held up one hand, his dark gaze brushing hers. “No, hear me out. I need to say this.” She realized she held her breath and let it out slowly, nodding for him to continue. “This is the talk that I wanted to have with you a few nights ago but I didn’t have the guts to tell you my real feelings.” Oh, no. It didn’t matter that she’d screwed up. He intended to leave anyway! She bit her lower lip again to stop it from its infernal trembling and clasped her hands together to steady herself for the worst. “I’m exhausted, Dinah. Part of me is glad that Belle fired me. I couldn’t have kept working at this pace anyway. Sixty plus hours a week is rough on any person, but Belle had been talking of working weekends too. I think she thought if she could wear me down where I didn’t have the energy to fight her then I’d give in to her.” He sighed and raked his fingers through his hair, a habit that always told Dinah when he was tired, frustrated or confused. Now it seemed he was all of the above. “And?” she urged. “Before she fired me, I wanted to step down as head supervisor,” he said. “I wanted my old job back. I started to tell you that night we made love on the kitchen table, but I missed you so much. I felt that I’d been neglecting you. I just wanted you, wanted your body and soul and I needed to be close to you. I had to have the comfort of your body.” He sighed heavily, the sound full of misery. “Since I’ve been fired, I’ve been staying away trying to find another job so you wouldn’t know what happened.” “So the irritated expressions and peeved tone in your voice lately weren’t directed at me?” He snorted with frustration, frustration with himself. “No, it wasn’t you, babe. I was aggravated with myself. I want to give you the things you deserve, and I know you want to start a family.” She stiffened at the way he worded the last part. What had changed his mind about children? “But I was scared.” He glanced at her. “Scared of what?” “That if I went back to my old job and the money dried up you’d leave me, thinking I didn’t want the same things. It turns out that you thought similar things regardless, but not for the reasons I feared.” He took a few steps toward her. “Then when you would act so surprised whenever I’d show up
unexpectedly, I began to wonder if you were seeing someone on the side, like that Zeke guy who was here the other day, because I’d been neglecting you. ” “Honest, Jeff, that man who was here earlier came over with Amelia. Ask her if you don’t believe me.” “I do believe you. I was just letting ghosts from my past cloud my judgment.” A bit of hope soughed into her body. “I am not Emma. I will never be her. I’m just plain old Dinah.” “No, you’re wrong. You’re beautiful, and I love you more than anything in this universe.” She launched herself across the room, and he met her halfway. “I’m so sorry for doubting you, for jumping to conclusions,” she cried. “We’re both sorry,” Jeff kissed her on the forehead, cheeks, and mouth, “and we’re not ever going to let this happen again.” “Never again,” she agreed. “Gawd, I’ve missed you.” “You’ll find another job, Jeff. I don’t care about money. I just want you. And should we have a baby, the finances will work themselves out.” “Are you sure?” She nodded and hugged him tighter. “I missed my period.” He quieted and held her out at arm’s length. “You missed...?” She nodded, the grin on her face so huge her jaws hurt. Jeff drew her to him and hugged her tightly. “I don’t know...what if...should I try to get my old job back? Maybe I—” “What did I just say about the job?” she asked. He laughed. “Okay, you’re right.” Wait a minute. He was happy she might be pregnant? But the past few weeks he’d been determined not to start a family. “What’s wrong?” asked Jeff. “For the past couple of months you’ve been adamant about not starting a family, and now you’re unemployed. Oh, Jeff. What if I am pregnant?” “Dinah, it’s not you and it’s not that I haven’t wanted a baby with you.” “Then what?” “I realized how much I loved you, and that love paled in comparison to anything I felt for Emma when we were together. I realized what I felt for you was true love, and if we brought a child into the picture...” He looked away but tightened his embrace on her. “You feared I’d do something similar to what Emma did and take the child away from you too.” He nodded, and color tinged his cheeks. “Loving you that much scared the hell out of me.” “Oh, Jeff. You have nothing to worry about. I’d lay my life down for you.” He kissed her, and she responded with fiery passion. “Have you gone to your doctor?” he asked, finally breaking their kiss, their breathing uneven. “Yes, he’ll call me with the results any time now.” “Well,” he nuzzled her neck, “let’s pass the time with something nice.” “Such as?” She raised an eyebrow, her tone mischievous. “Take that damn dress off.” He began unfastening his jeans. Once they disrobed, Jeff swept one arm around her waist and kissed her again. His questing tongue danced with hers, and she groaned into his mouth. He palmed her mound and slipped first one finger into her wetness then another. “Jeff!” She clung to him, wanting him inside her. His fingers continued to stroke and tantalize, his mouth wandering the planes and curves of her neck and shoulders. Dinah arched against his naked body. She needed him to touch her deeper, harder. He flicked the nub of her womanhood, and she drew in a startled, desirous breath. “Make love to me,” Dinah pleaded. “Here. Now.” He pulled her to the floor with him and rolled on top of her. She spread her thighs, expecting him to enter her, but he held still. The tip of his cock, intensely hot and hard, pressed against her opening. Whimpering, she tried to force him into her body. Instead, Jeff took one of her nipples into his mouth and sucked voraciously. “Oh!” She bucked as much as she could. If she didn’t get his cock inside her soon she’d come without it, and although wonderful, it just wasn’t the same. “Jeff, I can’t take it much longer.” He seized the opposite nipple and bit it gently. “Jeff, please!” He answered her with a deep chuckle and shoved into her body in one movement. A cry of delight burst from her. She ground herself against his hips in an attempt to embed him deeper still. “Easy, babe,” he whispered against her neck, breath warm and fast on her skin. “I can’t help it. I have to have you. Make love to me, please!” He began thrusting, and Dinah met every movement with an upward lift of her pelvis. She dug her heels into the carpet and hammered back at him. He grunted in surprise. “I love you!” He pumped faster, his cock working in and out so quickly that Dinah clasped her hands around his back, locked her feet behind his knees, and let him pummel her core as hard and vigorously as he could. Waves of sensation washed throughout her body. She bobbed on a tsunami of feelings that bore her ever faster to that shore of intense pleasure. Jeff thrust harder, his grunts and groans loud in the living room. Abstractly, she realized that her head was now on linoleum instead of on the carpet. She felt him thickening within her and tried to hold off her orgasm a few seconds longer, but the rhythmic action of her inner walls took over. She screamed her release as Jeff let out a growl of triumph and spewed his seed into her body. He pumped even more desperately, and then cried out in passion. “Yes! Yes!” Dinah sighed. “I love you too.” With a final thrust, he collapsed gasping on top of her. “You are everything to me,” he said. “And you’re amazing.” “Well,” she laughed, “so are you. You bounced me all the way into the kitchen.” He rose up on one elbow and looked at her legs half in, half out of the kitchen doorway. “I’ll be damned!” “And I now have rug burn on my ass,” she added. They dissolved into laughter.
Chapter Eight “Who was that on the phone?” Dinah hollered downstairs. “Amelia,” Jeff hollered back. “She said to come over in half an hour. We’re having spaghetti tonight.”
“I’ll be down in five minutes.” She smiled to herself. Once again the old woman had predicted the future. Jeff had indeed returned to her, and now their relationship was the strongest it had ever been. On her way downstairs, the phone rang again. Jeff held the portable out to her. “It’s the doctor’s office, babe.” Fear and hope bloomed in her gut. She took the phone from him. “Yes?” She listened for a moment. Slowly her innards turned to ice. “I understand. Goodbye.” She hung up. “Well?” Jeff asked. “I’m not pregnant.” He hugged her tightly, but she stood ramrod stiff. “Is something else wrong?” asked Jeff. “The doctor says I need to have some tests done,” she shot back, anger in her voice. “Maybe there’s something wrong with me, Dinah. What makes him so sure it’s you?” “He thinks I may have... Oh, hell, I can’t even pronounce it. He’s requesting my previous medical records.” “Is it life threatening?” Fear laced his voice. “No, but it makes it very difficult to get pregnant.” “Can you handle this okay?” Jeff tipped her chin up to look into her eyes. “Oh, sure,” she reflected sarcastically. “I’m just full of rotten eggs.” He chuckled gently at her flippant remark. “Don’t worry. I’m here for you, babe. Somehow we’ll deal with this.” She finally turned lax in his arms. “I’m sorry I’m a screw-up,” she mumbled against his chest. “You’re the best screw-up that ever happened to me.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “I’m serious, we’ll work it out. It might be that you simply need some hormone shots or something. For now, let’s enjoy the evening and the fact that we’ve worked things out. Everything else we’ll take one day at a time. ” “Yeah, you’re right.” She didn’t want to go over to the Wheillercarts’ for supper, but she couldn’t disappoint Amelia, especially after she’d helped Dinah so much. Maybe she needed to step back and look at their baby situation in a different light. After all, Jeff was officially unemployed, so perhaps this was a blessing for the moment. They knocked on the adjoining door. No one answered. “Amelia might be upstairs,” said Dinah. “It’s okay to go inside and wait in the atrium.” Jeff led a teary-eyed Dinah through the house and into the kitchen. The only things that greeted them were the smell of freshly baked bread and something spicy on the stove. He picked up a wooden spoon and sampled the bubbling sauce. “Excellent,” he muttered to himself. A scream erupted throughout the quiet duplex. Startled, Jeff dropped the spoon, splattering sauce over his shoes. “Who was that?” Dinah asked uneasily. The scream ripped through the house again, galvanizing them into action. Jeff bolted out of the kitchen and pounded up the stairs with Dinah close on his heels. They halted at the top, frantically glancing up and down the hall, not certain which of the rooms to enter. A wail originated from the master bedroom. Jeff sprinted down the corridor and flung open the door. Right behind him, Dinah tripped and nearly fell into the room. On the carpet, in a mass of clothes much too large for him, writhed a small boy. Amelia and the handsome Zeke stooped over him. “I wish you didn’t have to witness this,” the old woman remarked calmly. “What the hell is going on?” Jeff demanded. The tiny boy screamed again; he twisted and jerked in spasms on the floor. “He’s having a seizure!” Horrified, Dinah rushed forward. “No!” Amelia snapped. Dinah ran into the elderly woman’s outstretched arm. The strength of it nearly knocked her flat. “Not now! Whatever you do, don’t touch him!” “I don’t like this,” Jeff said. The child wailed and moaned, growing smaller and more infantile with each passing minute. A little whisper in her soul spoke to Dinah, but she couldn’t quite hear the words. She looked at her friend. “Who is it?” “It’s Norris,” Amelia answered. Jeff shook his head, his brow furrowed with worry. “What are you talking about? And what’s he doing here?” He pointed at Zeke. “Dinah knows. Don’t you, Dinah?” Their landlady looked at her. The child grew smaller still, changing rapidly. Pacing back and forth, Zeke cast worried glances at the boy. “I’m not sure...” At that moment, she gazed up into Amelia’s eyes and saw them flash a brilliant emerald green. The answer to all her heartache revealed itself. Zeke’s presence made sense, and so did the odd things she’d seen since moving in, including the phantom nursery, and even Amelia’s ability to know the future. Amelia transformed, allowing the physical body of the old woman to fade away. In its place stood a beautiful feathered creature just like the statue that Dinah admired so much in the atrium. A blinding flash of white followed, and in Zekial’s place stood the glowing semblance of a person, its whitefeathered wings enormous in the small bedroom. “Holy shit!” Jeff moved to snatch Dinah back from the beings, his face a mask of shock. She shrugged him off. “It’s all right, Jeff. We’ll explain everything to you later, won’t we good friend?” She smiled up at the Tutelare that towered over her and the transforming child. The tiny boy appeared to be about a year old, but only for a moment. His little form looked almost as if it were melting, his infantile cries eerie. “Indeed we will.” Amelia’s voice was the same, but now it possessed a lilting, musical quality. “Zekial is the child’s angel parent. Zeke wanted to meet you both and also be near when Norris reverted to an infant again.” The child transformed into a smaller one, and then tinier still. Dinah glanced over at Jeff who grimaced at each startling, pain-filled cry. Offering her lover comfort, Dinah took one of his trembling hands and squeezed it gently. With her other, she reached up to cup his face. “Trust me, Jeff. There’s no need to be afraid.” He nodded quickly. “I trust you.” Finally, the baby boy was no more than a twisting, fumbling form in a mass of over-sized garments. Everything grew still, and a strange quiet permeated the bedroom. Amelia turned her violet-plumed head toward Dinah, the crest showing iridescence in the overhead light. Her eyes glimmered with kindness. “Now, Dinah. You may look.” Dinah offered Jeff a reassuring smile. Kneeling, she crept toward the tangled heap on the floor. Her heart pounded out a frantic beat, and butterflies exploded in her stomach as she crawled forward. With trembling hands, she pulled back the sweater, pushed away the pants and underwear, and beheld a…a seed.
“Now what?” Dinah struggled to disguise her disappointment. “You must trust your heart, dear.” The Tutelare placed a taloned hand over her own breast. Dinah stared at the seed. Heavy and misshapen, it was about the size of a small watermelon and warm in her hands. As much as she desired a child, she suddenly realized she had all the love and happiness she craved with Jeff. She looked up at him and saw her love mirrored in his eyes. No matter what happened, they had each other. They always had. She clutched the seed to her heart and whispered, “I don’t know if we deserve you, but we’ll definitely love you.” The seed began to vibrate and tumbled out of her arms to the carpet. With an ear-splitting pop it cracked in two. Both halves became rubber bubbles with something fumbling to get out. The hulls began to dry and shrink, issuing a papery sound. Eventually, two perfect babies struggled free of their pods and lay crying and kicking in the shredded remains. “Oh!” Dinah cried. “The Tear Children are beautiful!” She smiled as each baby clasped one of her fingers. They stiffened abruptly at their exposure to the air conditioning and waved their arms while kicking tiny, pink feet. They uttered indignant cries then both promptly peed on the carpet. Laughing, she picked the babies up and tenderly cradled their wonderfully warm, naked forms against her. “I don’t understand all this, but it’s astounding!” “Your love is great,” a whispery, musical voice said. “So much so that you truly created another new life, and now we have two sons.” Tears streamed down Dinah’s cheeks as she stared up into Zekial’s beautiful face. “This is what Amelia meant all this time.” Nodding, Zekial replied, “Yes.” “We had to be sure you were right for this,” Amelia added and returned to her human form. “Come here, Jeff, and look at your sons.” Shaking, he knelt next to Dinah and the newborns. “Incredible!” “When Dinah showed an open mind and was so entranced with the legend of my race, Zekial, Norris and I were positive you were the right couple for this blessing.” She placed her hand fondly on Dinah’s shoulder. “I am here for you always. Not only am I the protector of these children, but I am yours and Jeff’s as well.” “Thank you,” Dinah whispered, gazing at the sleepy boys. “The two of you have got some explaining to do,” Jeff stated, stroking the peach fuzz on the babies’ round heads, awe settling over his face. “Take care of my children.” The angel flapped his wings once, the air swooshing through the room. With a clap of displaced air, Zekial vanished. Jeff startled at the sound, but he smiled and pressed closer to Dinah and their sons. “I’ll create birth certificates and the necessary legal documents so you won’t have any trouble raising the boys like normal children. I’ll also go get some diapers and those sleepers for you.” Amelia walked to the door, then paused. “Oh, how’s this for your new nanny?” Dinah glanced up and saw a brief flash of golden feathers. A plain, middle-aged woman stood in Amelia’s place. “Perfect,” Dinah answered. “What’s your name?” “Amanda. I kind of like to stick with the A’s.” Dinah laughed and returned her attention to her Tear Children. “I guess it’s time we get married, huh?” Jeff said. She whipped her head toward him. “You don’t have to marry me because—” He placed a finger on her lips as he shook his head. “I mean it. That’s the other thing I wanted to discuss with you. I’m not afraid anymore, Dinah, and if we’ve been blessed with something as wondrous as our sons, then I’m sure I’ll find another job soon too. I want us to be a real family. I want you to take my last name. I love you.” “I love you too,” she said. “And I’m not afraid anymore either.” THE END
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The Most Intimate Wish please visit her web site. www.faithbicknell.com
