A Total-E-Bound Publication
www.total-e-bound.com
The Mark of an Alpha ISBN # 978-0-85715-008-0 ©Copyright Kim Dare 2010 Cover Art by April Martinez ©Copyright January 2010 Edited by Christine Riley Total-E-Bound Publishing This is a work of fiction. All characters, places and events are from the author’s imagination and should not be confused with fact. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, events or places is purely coincidental. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form, whether by printing, photocopying, scanning or otherwise without the written permission of the publisher, Total-E-Bound Publishing. Applications should be addressed in the first instance, in writing, to Total-E-Bound Publishing. Unauthorised or restricted acts in relation to this publication may result in civil proceedings and/or criminal prosecution. The author and illustrator have asserted their respective rights under the Copyright Designs and Patents Acts 1988 (as amended) to be identified as the author of this book and illustrator of the artwork. Published in 2010 by Total-E-Bound Publishing 1 The Corner, Faldingworth Road, Spridlington, Market Rasen, Lincolnshire, LN8 2DE, UK.
Warning: This book contains sexually explicit content which is only suitable for mature readers. This story has been rated Total-e-burning.
Pack Discipline
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA Kim Dare
Dedication To every pup still looking for a good master.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
5
Chapter One
“Our last time.” “Yes, sir.” Marsdon stroked his fingertips down the submissive’s spine. He’d never asked the other man exactly how he managed to put himself into his bondage before his master joined him in the back room of the club. Now the question seemed like a waste of all too precious time. The artificial scent the other man wore took over Marsdon’s world as he stepped even closer to him. He stood very still for a moment, his fingertips resting on the bound man’s skin as he tried to push past the aroma and force it out of his senses. It was a pleasant cologne, something that would have no doubt been considered discreet to a human’s nose. Perhaps if the man offering him his submission had been human, it would have been easier to tolerate it. But Marsdon knew damn well the man before him was as much a wolf as he was. Marsdon closed his eyes as his free hand clenched into a fist at his side. The fragrance couldn’t hide his lover’s species, but it hid his actual identity perfectly. There was a special cruelty to that, right then. After all the hours they’d spent together, to know that he would never even be able to walk past his lover on a crowded street and recognise that he was within touching distance of the man who’d once made his blood pound faster in his veins, his cock stiffen and his heart find peace… It was something akin to torture. Marsdon trailed his fingers over the man’s side as he walked around him and stopped face to… Marsdon stared at the leather hood that hid most of the other man’s face from him for several long, regretful seconds. At least his lips were free. That was something he would always be grateful for. He’d had the pleasure of his submissive’s mouth—in every sense of the term. Marsdon left the fingertips of his one hand resting against the bound man’s ribs as he lifted his other hand and brushed a knuckle over his lover’s mouth.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
6
Those lips had wrapped around his shaft so many times over the last weeks. The submissive kissed his knuckle. His tongue flickered out to taste his master’s finger, just as it had lapped pre-cum from his cock. Marsdon watched every eager flash of pink against his skin. Knowing he would never feel that again made it suddenly vital to imprint every detail onto his memory. It took all his strength to finally move his hand away. The tongue lapped at the empty air. The submissive’s mouth remained open, waiting. After a few seconds, the lips came together, not once complaining that their master had robbed them of their treat. Master… The damn hood that kept his lover’s identity a secret had its rare seconds of usefulness. Safe while he knew the other man would never glimpse his moment of weakness, Marsdon bowed his head and took a deep breath. He was his master for a few more hours, yet. There was no point in wasting his time regretting those hours were all they would ever have. Marsdon lifted his gaze back to the hooded face and forced himself not to fritter away precious seconds wishing he knew what colour eyes would look back at him if the hood could be torn away. “Have you been good since our last meeting, pup?” His voice was too thick, too rough with emotion. Marsdon had to clear his throat before he could finish the question. “Yes, sir.” It was the truth. Marsdon had never had any cause to doubt that. For all his submission, he knew the man before him was too proud to lie. Still unable to look at the halfhood and not wish things could be different, Marsdon turned his attention to more pleasing sights. Before he’d arrived, the submissive had placed himself in bondage according to the precise orders Marsdon had issued at the end of their last session. Leather encircled his wrists and his ankles, spreading him open, leaving him vulnerable to whatever his master should wish to do with him. Shackles bolted to the concrete floor and the heavy bar suspended from the ceiling kept him in place beautifully in the middle of the room.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
7
Marsdon ran his knuckles along the other man’s skin, from the notch between his collar bones and down the juncture between his ribs until he teased his abs. Muscles twitched under his touch. “Sorry, sir.” Marsdon smiled. “You’re in bondage for a reason, pup. If I wanted you to control your responses, I’d let you stand free and make you submit to a simple order to stay still.” The submissive swallowed. “Thank you, sir.” Marsdon’s wasn’t the only voice that was a fraction deeper, a fraction rougher than usual. The growl in the other man’s voice wasn’t an added attempt to disguise his identity. It was all wolf, all pain. Continuing to stroke his knuckles up and down the submissive’s stomach, Marsdon leant forward and brushed their lips together. It was just a brief little contact, nothing like a real kiss. If he gave in to the temptation for the real thing, Marsdon thought he just might let their lips linger together until the world stopped turning. Or until it turned into a pumpkin. Or whatever the hell it was that would happen to the world when their time together ran out and they both had to walk away. Chains rattled as the fleeting moment of contact ended. A whimper filled the air. “Sir?” Marsdon stared at the other man’s parted lips and helplessly leant forward for another kiss. At the very last moment, he managed to jerk away. Stepping back, he began to pace around the bound man. So perfect. Every inch of him. All muscle and strength. And all bound up in the most flawless, the most complete submission Marsdon had ever set eyes on. Whichever pack he became the omega of, they would be honoured to have him in their ranks. Whatever wolf he became mated to would be— Marsdon spun around and began to circle in the other direction. The submissive dragged another lungful of air into his body. His ribs moved, highlighting the perfectly defined muscles. Marsdon’s gaze drifted lower. His submissive was hard. Beautifully, gloriously hard and waiting for his master. For a master who was acting like a complete pillock.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
8
“I promised I would let you come tonight. Didn’t I, pup?” “Yes, sir.” “How shall I do that?” Marsdon asked, abandoning his pacing to move closer and line himself up against the other wolf’s back. His clothes still kept them apart. The layers of fabric prevented him from enjoying the full pleasure of having so much of the other man’s skin available to him, but he couldn’t convince himself to step away for long enough to strip down, right then. Marsdon pressed a kiss against the sweet spot on the back of the submissive’s neck instead. His pup gasped, just as Marsdon knew he would. His head dropped forward as Marsdon tongued the little knot of bone that topped his spine. “Tell me how you’d most like to be allowed to come, pup,” Marsdon ordered, letting his words brush across the dampened skin. A shiver ran down the submissive’s spine. “Whatever my master wants, sir.” Marsdon nipped at the skin. “If your climax means that little to you…” Every muscle in the submissive’s body knotted with instant tension. He had to be desperate. The teasing Marsdon had put him through over their last meetings, combined with his rules forbidding orgasms between those times, had to make him frantic for permission to come. Marsdon waited him out. “Whatever pleases my master, sir.” Marsdon nipped at his neck again, catching the thin skin over the sweet spot between his teeth, making his submissive groan. His submissive. His nameless lover. His pup. Marsdon smiled against the skin, remembering how his lover had bridled at the term the first time he’d heard it. He closed his eyes and tried to remember at exactly what point it had become an endearment rather than a way to try to annoy his lover into confessing his real name. Marsdon leaned into the solid wall of muscle caught up in the web of leather cuffs and let the heat from the submissive’s body seep through his clothes. “Every bit of you pleases me,” he whispered in the other man’s ear. His pup swallowed. “Is there any part of you I haven’t enjoyed over the last weeks?”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
9
The submissive shook his head. Marsdon’s body made the decision for him. Pressed against the submissive’s back, it was impossible not to think of those times he’d ordered him to be bound and bent over a spanking bench or a table when he arrived. Those times where his lover had offered his arse to his master, demanding nothing in return—not even that his master should allow him his own release when he was finished with him. Tight buttocks pressed back against Marsdon’s crotch, rubbing against his erection through his trousers, as if his pup couldn’t hide what he really wanted either. “Do you want your master inside you, pup?” Marsdon asked. “Do you want my cock buried balls-deep in your arse?” “Yes, sir.” A whispered little confession. “And do you want my hand here?” he reached around the submissive’s body and wrapped his fingers around his cock. His pup rocked helplessly between his fist and his body. There wasn’t enough slack for him to thrust forward or push back properly. All he could do was wriggle against his master, forced to rely on the bondage to keep him in place because his own control had drained away. “I asked you a question, pup.” “Yes, sir.” Marsdon gave a half laugh. “Do you even remember what the question was?” His pup obviously had to think, to trawl back through his memories to find out what he’d automatically said yes to. “I want your hand there, sir.” Marsdon pressed a kiss against his shoulder in praise. He tightened his fist, squeezing his pup’s shaft between his fingers to make him whimper his pleasure. “You may come on your master’s command.” “Thank you, sir.” “Not before, pup,” Marsdon warned. “Yes, sir.” Suddenly it seemed like all the time he had left with his pup was slipping away while he stood around like an idiot and did nothing. He had to be inside his lover—right now.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
10
Marsdon fumbled at his belt as he walked across the room and snatched the lube from the table containing all the toys the club provided for its patrons’ entertainment. Marsdon’s hands were shaking as he scrabbled at his fly and pushed the material aside to free his shaft. He almost dropped the lube in his haste. For a few seconds, he had to force himself to stand completely still, staring down at the tube of lubricant. Lube. Yes. That couldn’t be rushed. Just because a werewolf would heal quickly, that didn’t mean his pup could be treated roughly for no other reason than his master was in a hurry. Marsdon slicked his fingers and slid them between his pup’s cheeks as he stepped close behind him again. For a fraction of a second, his lover tensed, muscles clenching at the first touch. An instant later they relaxed, welcoming him. The submissive arched his spine, pushing back against the fingers that barely brushed against his hole. “Easy, pup,” Marsdon said. He settled his free hand on the other man’s waist, gentling him down. His pup whimpered as he somehow managed to still his movements and let his master do as he pleased. Marsdon slid a finger inside his lover, spreading the lube and coaxing him to relax around one digit and then around two, then three. Part of him wished he’d ordered the other man to prepare himself before his arrival, but another more feral part howled against that notion. The man was his. His to own. His to master. His to protect. He was the one who made sure that nothing that happened between them would hurt him. He was the one who had the privilege of seeking out his lover’s prostate and coaxing that growling little whimper out of his throat. No one else was allowed to touch his pup that way, not even the man himself. The moment he knew he would be able to look himself in the eye afterwards and not call himself a bastard for hurting his lover with his haste, his fingers were gone. His erection pressed against the submissive’s hole. The other man pushed back against him. “Please, sir?” No order could have attained a more obedient response.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
11
The plea went straight to Marsdon’s cock. Steadying the submissive’s hips, Marsdon thrust into him in one perfect motion that saw him completely encased within the other man’s body. His pup whimpered, wriggling against Marsdon’s hold on him as he tried to make his master move inside him. Marsdon held him still, making sure the other man gave himself time to stretch and relax around him before he finally started to rock his own hips. The control required for slow, measured thrusts wasn’t in him right then. It seemed like the world would steal his lover right out of his arms if they took even a moment too long. Marsdon pounded into him, hard and fast, holding onto the other man until his knuckles turned white with the need to keep the other man close, until he knew he would have left bruises on human skin. His pup pulled at the restraints, moaning pleas for more. The sound slid down Marsdon’s spine, combined with the tight heat surrounding his shaft and he almost came right then. Reaching around his lover’s body, Marsdon quickly wrapped his fist around his submissive’s cock once more and started to jack him off, hard and fast—just the way he knew his pup loved. Every muscle in the other man’s body knotted tighter and tighter as he fought to keep control. “Come!” His pup jerked in the restraints, throwing his head back as a half scream, half howl tore from his throat and echoed around the room. Semen splashed onto the floor in front of them. The submissive’s hole clenched even tighter around Marsdon’s shaft, tearing Marsdon’s orgasm out of him, as his hand milked the submissive’s climax from his bound body. Marsdon half collapsed against his lovers back, panting for breath and still buried inside his pup. He looked over the other man’s shoulder, down to where his hand continued to work the shaft in his palm. His pup whimpered, too sensitive to take real pleasure from the touch, but apparently still too desperate to feel the connection between them to want his master to stop.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
12
It was several long minutes later before Marsdon finally summoned up the will to step away from him. Tidying up his clothes, he walked over to that table where the toys were laid out, and stared blindly down at them. “Sir?” “I’m still here,” Marsdon said. He turned back to his lover. The other man’s head was bowed, maybe in submission, maybe in fatigue. Or maybe he felt as defeated as Marsdon did right then. Their last night together… Marsdon cleared his throat. “Do you have a final request for your master, pup?”
“Leave your mark on me, sir.” Behind the hood, Bennett closed his eyes tighter than ever. For once, the real world hadn’t drained away while he offered himself to his master. The leather caressed his skin, the hood hid him from the world, but the safety and the comfort he’d found in submitting to the other man wasn’t really there. He couldn’t relax when he knew it was all going to be over so soon. His master was quiet for a long time. When he finally spoke, the words came from right in front of Bennett’s hooded face. “Do you really believe I’d ever raise a hand to you?” The growl in his master’s voice sent a shiver down Bennett’s spine. Right then, he wasn’t sure if it was from lust or fear of displeasing his master on this day of all days. “No, sir,” he said, entirely honestly. He may never have set eyes on the other man, but he knew when he was in the presence of a true alpha. His master would never raise a hand to any wolf under his care. Bennett bit his lip. “Just because the humans leave out whips and paddles for us to play with, that doesn’t mean we use them. You’re a wolf, pup. You know better than that.” “I… That wasn’t what I…” Bennett swallowed, lacking the words to explain what he really wanted. The dominant brushed their lips together very briefly, as if to reassure him. “Tell your master what you want,” he ordered. Bennett lapped at his own lips, desperate to snatch a lingering taste of his master.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
13
“Answer, pup.” “There’s a knife in my bag, sir,” he blurted out. His master wasn’t impressed. His displeasure hung in the air and Bennett didn’t need the freedom to use all his senses to feel the full force of it. The air moved. The dominant walked away. Bennett held his breath. The hood covered his ears, making sounds muted and hard to distinguish. Perhaps the rustle of material was his master opening the bag he’d left on the other side of the room. Perhaps it was the sound of the other man picking up his coat and walking away in disgust. Cold metal touched his lips. Bennett gasped. For a moment, the whole world froze. Dragging a lungful of air into his body, Bennett flicked out his tongue and tasted the blade. “Carefully,” his master ordered. Bennett flattened his tongue over the smooth side of the blade, gently caressing the metal with his mouth, until the other man took it away. “It’s silver,” his master said. “Yes, sir.” “Have you ever been cut with silver?” Bennett swallowed. “No, sir.” The other wolf was silent for a few seconds. Bennett waited for his master’s verdict. A sudden indrawn breath broke the stillness of the room. Bennett felt the air rush into his own lungs in response. The scent of blood floated into the air. “Sir?” “It burns,” the dominant said. “Sharply at first, then it fades into a dull ache along the line of the wound.” “Sir, I…” The other wolf chuckled. “Did you really think I’d cut you without knowing what I was doing, pup?” “I didn’t mean for you to…” “They say the mark of silver never fades from a werewolf’s skin,” the other man mused. The scent of blood grew stronger. For a moment Bennett thought the dominant had cut himself again. Then skin brushed against his lips. Bennett kissed the skin, trailing his lips against the other man’s forearm.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
14
Moisture touched his mouth. He licked at the wound his master offered him to clean. Running his tongue along the broken skin, he could feel the heat the silver had left in the cut as it burnt the edges of the wound. The mark his master had left on his skin formed an X shaped cross. Bennett whimpered as he trailed his mouth over the cuts, desperate to soothe any pain he might have caused his master by asking for this. The arm and the wound were taken from his reach long before he was ready to give them up. “Tell me why you want this, pup.” “Because they say the mark never fades from a werewolf’s skin, sir,” he said, softly echoing his master’s own words. “You want my mark on you?” Bennett had to clear his throat before he could answer. “Yes, sir.” “Why?” Bennett looked down. Even hidden behind the hood, he couldn’t look towards his master when he gave his answer. “Because after tonight…” he whispered. “I know what we agreed when we started this, sir. It all ends tonight. Just let me have something to remind me that I once had a master? Let me touch the mark you left on me and know I didn’t imagine it all,” he begged, his desperation harder to hide with each word. “This is real, pup. You never need to doubt that.” “Yes, sir,” Bennett whispered, trying his best to hide his disappointment. Metal touched his cheek. Bennett’s breath froze in his lungs. “Where?” he asked. “Wherever pleases my master, sir,” Bennett whispered. The knife trailed down his face, the edge of the blade never touching him as the flat of the metal caressed his skin. It halted at the buckle that kept the hood in place, as if it would cut away his attempt to remain anonymous. Bennett breathed a sigh of relief as the hood was allowed to remain in place when the knife resumed its journey down his chest. The cold metal circled his nipple, making the nerve ending peak and beg for attention. Lower and the knife traced the outline of his abs. As Bennett held his breath, giving the knife a steady canvas to work on, it moved lower still. Metal brushed against the short black hairs around his cock. Bennett bit his
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
15
bottom lip. Even as part of his mind screamed its objections to a knife trailing delicate little patterns against his cock, another more primitive part of him sighed its acceptance of whatever might happen next. His master teased his foreskin with the blade. Against all reason, blood rushed to his shaft, coaxing him to slowly harden and offer his cock to the blade. The knife moved further back to stroke his tightening sacks. Bennett stayed perfectly still, not daring to breathe, not even daring to think. Air moved against his skin. The blade traced a line along the outside of his thigh as his master stepped behind him and turned the knife’s attention to his buttocks. Bennett forced himself to remain as relaxed as he could, to show his acceptance of whatever mark his master wanted to leave on him and wherever he wanted to place it. Cold silver traced patterns up his back. Bennett concentrated on each movement of the blade, trying to fathom out a pattern, a message from his master, some clue to the other wolf’s identity. There was no message, no clue. The knife trailed up towards the base of the hood again. The flat edge of the metal tapped against the bone that marked the top of his spine. “Here,” his master announced. “Yes, sir.” Bennett dropped his head forward to give him better access. “One last chance to change your mind,” the other man offered. “Please, sir?” Bennett asked, knowing that he’d made his decision long before he put the knife in his bag, let alone offered it to his master. His master pressed his lips to the spot in the most tender kiss Bennett had ever known. A moment later, a line of heat flared from the top left to the bottom right of that little spot where he so loved to be kissed. Bennett’s breath caught in his throat. A moment later, another line crossed it, giving him the same mark he’d tasted on his master’s arm. The other wolf had told the truth. It burnt. Pure fire danced along the wound the silver left in its wake. Bennett forced himself to breathe as he relished the knowledge that the mark would last forever, even if his time with his master was about to be cut short. “Thank you, sir.” A hot, moist tongue lapped at the back of his neck, cleaning the wound, coating the pain with pleasure until the two were so blurred together he couldn’t swear to which was
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
16
which. Bennett murmured his approval, pressing his chin into his chest as he offered himself to his master. The dominant laved the mark again, his tongue tracing first one line and then the other, back and forth. Air brushed over the skin as his master paused to inspect his work. “You are mine.” “Yes, sir.” “You’ll never forget that now, pup,” his master said. Bennett swallowed down his emotions. “Yes, sir.” Skin brushed against his lips. Bennett kissed it, searching for something he had no idea if he would be able to detect. There was no trace of blood left on the dominant’s forearm, just the faintly raised skin of a scar in the shape of a cross. Perhaps he wouldn’t be the only man who would never forget. “Thank you, sir. Not just for… I mean, for…” His master moved around in front of him and offered him another kiss—a real kiss this time. He let their lips linger. He let Bennett taste him properly. Sliding his tongue into his master’s mouth when the invitation was issued, Bennett tried to memorise every detail. “I know, pup,” his master whispered against his lips as he brought the kiss to an end. “I know.” No words were necessary to explain what he wanted to thank his master for. Maybe no words even existed for it. Bennett nodded his understanding. Fingers touched the inside of his wrist. Bennett closed his eyes tight behind the leather covering the top half of his face. The leather cuff around his wrist gave way as his master released him from his bondage. Bennett left his hand where the leather had held it, waiting for the other man to turn away and leave him. Air moved. Fabric rustled somewhere on the other side of the room. For a long time, Bennett couldn’t make himself move. There was no point standing there when his master was already gone, but it was the last connection he had with his master, so he held on to it as minute after silent minute slipped away. Finally, Bennett forced himself to reach for the cuff around his other wrist. It wasn’t easy to get the buckle undone, nor to undo those around his ankles.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
17
But falling to his knees was easy. Bennett dropped his head forward as all the fight drained out of him. The floor was hard and cold under his knees. Fire burnt in muscles that had been held immobile for too long. But it was all felt from a distance, as if it was happening to someone else. Bennett put his hands on the floor in front of him, trying to stop the world from spinning out of control. Very slowly, he found the coordination to reach back and start to unbuckle the hood from his face. “I’m still here.” Bennett’s head jerked up as he turned to the face the words. “Sir?” “Come here, pup.” Bennett hesitated. “On your hands and knees,” his master ordered. “Crawl towards the sound of my voice.” Bennett dropped his other hand back to the floor. He shuffled forward a bit, instinct taking over as his brain struggled to understand what was going on. “That’s right.” Focusing on his master’s coaxing words, Bennett crawled blindly towards the other man until a hand touched his cheek and guided him through the last few inches. Crawling between the other man’s outstretched legs, Bennett rested his forehead on his master’s stomach. His lover’s hand quickly moved to the back of his neck, to stroke the mark he’d placed there. Bennett took a deep breath as his master tenderly caressed his skin. Moments passed filled with nothing that should have felt important. There was no sex, there wasn’t even any dominance in the room right then. His master just held him close and petted him the way an alpha would coddle any frightened pup who clambered up onto his lap looking for reassurance. Bennett closed his eyes very tight behind the hood and rubbed his face against his master’s stomach. A whimper escaped from the back of his throat, and he couldn’t even hate himself for his weakness right then. “I know, pup,” his master whispered. “I know.”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
18
Time passed. Bennett had no idea how long he knelt at his master’s feet, just accepting the comfort the other wolf offered, but moments that he wished could stretch out forever finally came to an end. His master sighed and coaxed Bennett to lift his face from where he’d snuggled against his shirt and kissed him very slowly, very sweetly, and for what they both knew would be the last time. “Be good, pup.” His master stepped past him. A door opened and closed behind him. Something drained out of the room. Left on his own, Bennett forced himself to lift a hand and unbuckle the hood. Turning around, he slumped against the base of the chair his master had sat in and stared at the room until his vision blurred and tears blinded him just as thoroughly as the hood ever had. Be good. Yes. That’s what he had to do now. No more secret meetings with his master. No more nights of stolen pleasure. Bennett had responsibilities to attend to. He had to go and be a good wolf now.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
19
Chapter Two
His master told him to do this. His master told him to be a good wolf. Bennett repeated the words over and over inside his head, but they provided scant comfort as he stared out over the lands he and his new mate were about to take possession of. Out of sight of the other members of his pack, he let his eyes drop closed so he could hide from reality for a few seconds. One by one, he forced deep lungfuls of air into his body, as if overloading himself with oxygen would somehow help him keep his nerves a secret from all the wolves who were milling around his new home, waiting for the mating ceremony to take place. Very gradually, the controlled, repetitive rhythm began to soothe a little of his panic. It made it just a little more manageable, just a little more easily hidden. But at the same time, it made it far too easy for him to pretend he was back in that room in that club. It made it all too tempting for Bennett to let himself believe that his master was standing close behind him and the breaths he was focusing on belonged to the other wolf not himself. His master’s breathing pattern was slightly different to his. Bennett closed his eyes tighter as he realised he’d automatically sought out his master’s rhythm. It wasn’t extra air in his lung comforting him half as much as it was that tenuous link to the other wolf. Before long, another pack would arrive at the house, bringing his new mate with them. He wouldn’t be able to seek out that connection with his master then, not once he was mated to another wolf. But until then, it wasn’t actually cheating. It was less a crime now than it would be in an hour’s time. No matter how pathetic he felt, clinging to what he’d lost, Bennett took another slow breath in and out and let the connection linger in his mind for just a little while longer. A sudden gasp destroyed the rhythm he’d worked so hard to replicate. Flinging his eyes open, Bennett stared out over the land he and his new mate were to be gifted, but he didn’t really see any of it. Forcing himself to keep his eyes open, Bennett ran a hand down his face and made a mental note to never let himself fall into that trap ever again, and not just because it wouldn’t
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
20
be fair to his new mate. He took a cautious breath in, frowning at the view out over green fields and forest. He wasn’t in the club. The very fact that he could open his eyes and see more than the inside of a hood should have been enough to snap him out of that idea. The breeze caught at his hair. It was another reminder that, as much as he might wish otherwise, he was standing free in the open air. The club smelt of leather and lust and men. The freshness of country air should have cleared any lingering notion that his master’s scent hung in the air, but it didn’t. No matter how hard he stared at all the evidence to the contrary, Bennett couldn’t shake off the idea that all he had to do was turn around and his master would be right there behind him, ready to wrap strong arms around him and bring him back to where he belonged. Bennett shook his head at himself. Not now. He couldn’t go insane right now. His master had been right. He had to be a good wolf. He had duties to attend to and promises to keep. He couldn’t go insane right now. Taking another deep breath, Bennett automatically sought out the mark on the back of his neck as he searched for strength inside himself. His hair was just long enough to cover the scar from prying eyes, but he could still feel the outline of the cuts with his fingertips whenever he reached back and hunted for the memory of his master. He supposed that was something else he would have to learn not to do any more, another pleasure he would have to learn to do without. Bennett dropped his hand back to his side and told himself to stop being a fool. No matter what scent he might imagine hung in the air, his master wasn’t there. He might be able to reach for his master’s mark on the back of his neck, but the prickle running down his spine and the scent teasing at the edge of his senses could only be the product of an overactive imagination. There was no way his master could be here. Fate might have let him fall in love with a man he’d never set eyes on. But it couldn’t be cruel enough to invite his master to see him mated to another wolf. “Bennett!” He forced himself to turn around and scrape up a smile for his younger brother.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
21
“Come back to the pack, Bennett! Your mate is here!” His brother was barely more than a pup—hopping up and down in excitement at the other pack’s arrival without really understanding what it meant. Bennett managed to keep his smile in place. His mate was here. That was…good. The arrangement was an excellent one. His mate was, by all reports, a very good wolf from a very successful pack. The mating would naturally bring their packs a great deal closer together. And an association with a larger, stronger pack would be beneficial to his current pack’s future. He and his mate would be able to build a fine, strong pack between them. It was all very good, very excellent, and lots of other words like that. Strange then, that reminding himself of all those wonderful facts should only succeed in making him feel as if someone was pulling all his insides out through his stomach one fistful at a time. Forcing the smile to remain on his lips, Bennett followed the younger wolf back towards the old farm house he was to make his new home. The arriving pack outnumbered his by well over ten to one. Bennett looked around the crowd, knowing that certain members of that pack would split away and join him and his mate to form their new pack. He swallowed down his regret that his own parental pack was too small to give up another wolf to accompany him right then. Perhaps in the future, when some of his brothers and sisters were older, then… Bennett quickly pushed the idea aside. It didn’t matter whose pack they were born into. Once the mating ceremony was complete, those wolves who joined them would be his pack. They would be as much part of his family as they were part of his mate’s. He couldn’t keep clinging to things that way—not to his old pack, not to his master. Forcing himself to look to the future, Bennett scanned face after unfamiliar face, searching for an alpha wolf amongst all the gammas and betas and omegas. His parents stood proud and strong on the other side of the field, speaking to another older alpha pair. A fifth wolf stepped from the crowd of new arrivals and began to walk across to join them. An alpha. So it was to be him then. He was the wolf Bennett would be mated to. Bennett’s eyes ran over the other man. He was dressed in the same traditional white cotton shirt and trousers Bennett wore. The thin fabric didn’t hide much. He was strong, well
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
22
built and heavily muscled. His gait had an easy, flowing rhythm that hinted at speed as well as strength. If it wasn’t for the fair hair and even fairer skin, his build might have passed him off as Bennett’s brother. He only looked perhaps a year or two older than Bennett himself. No doubt they would match well together, lead well together, just as their parents predicted. “Bennett!” his father called, beckoning him across the field. Bennett squared his shoulders, tilted his chin back and forced himself to appear as relaxed and confident as he knew he should feel. The fairer alpha reached the group just before him. The faint breeze brought the mingling scents of the new comers to Bennett. His step faltered. He met the other wolf’s eyes as one scent leapt out from all the others and flicked a switch inside him. Master! At this distance, there was no mistaking it for the fanciful imaginings of a wolf in mourning for what he’d lost when he walked out of that leather club that night. Scent didn’t lie. Master! Bennett forced himself to keep walking, to keep closing the gap between himself and the man he’d called sir for so many weeks. His throat went dry. No matter how much he longed to draw the other wolf’s scent inside him, wrap himself up in it, and never let it leave his senses again, he couldn’t breathe. His father clapped him on the back as he reached the group. “Bennett, you are just in time to meet your new mate. This is Marsdon.” Bennett turned his attention to the other wolf. He was studying him with a slightly strange expression in his eyes, as if there was actually some chance he could recognise him. He reached out to shake Bennett’s hand. “Bennett, I’ve been looking forward to this meeting for a long time.” If he hadn’t recognised his master’s scent, his voice would have told him all he needed to know. Deep and rich, and confident about everything in the world—there couldn’t be two wolves in the world who sounded that way. Bennett forced himself to respond, to put his hand in his master’s hand and to ignore the way his mind swirled at hearing his name on the other wolf’s lips.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
23
“So have I,” he managed to say. It took all his strength of will not to call the other wolf sir right there in front of everyone. Marsdon. His master’s name was Marsdon. The other wolf tightened his grip on his hand when Bennett tried to take it back. It was just a brief second. No one else could possibly have noticed it. But Bennett felt the other wolf testing his strength. His chin jerked up at the challenge inherent in the move. He met his master’s eyes and held his gaze, refusing to look down and offer the other wolf any hint of his submission. Their parents talked around them, discussing how beneficial the match would be for both their packs. Marsdon made no contribution to the conversation. He continued to hold Bennett’s gaze, as if examining him for any sign of weakness, any hint at recognition. He wouldn’t find any. Bennett knew better than to let anything from that side of his personality sneak into his expression while he was out here in the real world. Second by second he returned the other wolf’s inspection—doing his best to appear calm and confident while his heart raced faster and faster, threatening to burst out of his chest at any moment. Marsdon’s lips twisted into a strange little smile and he slowly let the other members of the pack pull his attention away from his soon to be mate. Bennett gladly turned away from Marsdon, too. Looking at each of the other wolves in turn, he checked that they hadn’t noticed anything strange about the handshake. Everyone was still smiling. Everything was okay. Pushing aside his silly moment of panic, Bennett did his best to listen to the words that passed back and forth between the wolves around him. It was damn near impossible to follow a conversation when every word Marsdon said slid straight into his spine without registering any information when it passed through his ears. From his spine, his mate’s voice went straight to his cock, making him swell behind the scant privacy his trousers provided. The thin fabric began to tent. Bennett took a slightly shaky breath. If anyone noticed, they would only tease him about how eager he was for the ceremony to be over so he could be alone with his mate for the first time. The other alphas would take it as a simple signal the man they had chosen to be his mate pleased him.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
24
Bennett risked a glance at Marsdon. The other wolf’s gaze was lowered, fixed on the disrupted material over his crotch. As Bennett watched, his soon to be mate looked up. The other wolves in the group laughed at some story that Marsdon’s father was telling. Bennett laughed politely along with them, even though he hadn’t heard a word of it. Taking the excuse to look away from Marsdon again, he turned his attention to the older wolf. Marsdon’s chuckle joined the laughter. The rich sound tempted Bennett to turn back to him, but he managed to resist it. “If I recall correctly,” Marsdon said. “You labelled me an impudent little pup at the time.” Bennett tensed as his master said the word. His cock jerked behind the thin cotton, begging for his master’s attention. Seeing no alternative, Bennett turned back to his future mate and met his eyes. Marsdon smiled as if he had made some fantastic discovery, but Bennett knew there was nothing in his own expression that gave him away. There was no way the other wolf could know for certain. The other man might suspect, he might be inclined to test him, but he couldn’t know he was the wolf who’d hidden behind a hood and false scent just for the privilege of crawling at another man’s feet. Bennett forced his expression to remain impassive as his insides knotted, and Marsdon studied him very carefully. It felt like they stood there forever, making polite conversation—or, in Bennett’s case at least, stood around while other people made polite conversation. His throat was so dry he didn’t think he would be able to do more than croak if he tried to join in. Inside his head, fears he could never admit out loud, continued to swirl and writhe around each other. Marsdon couldn’t be sure. Even if he suspected Bennett was the submissive in the club, he couldn’t make that sort of accusation in front of everyone. He couldn’t call off the ceremony without concrete proof that the mate the elders of the packs had chosen for him wasn’t worthy of being called an alpha. Bennett looked around the other wolves. Marsdon couldn’t accuse him of being a fraud. He couldn’t expose his secret to everyone without throwing away all the work their
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
25
parents had put into bringing this agreement between their packs into being. And Marsdon couldn’t do that. He couldn’t… “What do you think of your new lands, Bennett? Have you made any plans for them?” Bennett blinked and turned towards his new mate’s father. His throat wouldn’t work. Just at that moment, Marsdon’s hand came to rest on the small of his back. Bennett automatically turned to him. His mate smiled. “I haven’t had time to look them over properly either,” he said, before he turned back to his father. “We shall have to make time to explore them together before we make any decisions.” Everyone nodded their approval. Alphas were equals. They made their decisions together. Bennett nodded too. As the conversation moved on and attention turned away from him once more, Bennett stepped to the side as discreetly as possible. Marsdon followed, keeping his hand on the small of his back. “Leather.” Bennett jerked around to face his mate, sure he must have misheard the whispered word. “What?” “Leather,” Marsdon said again—very clearly but just softly enough that Bennett was sure none of the wolves around them had heard it. Bennett stared at him for long, painful seconds, unable to do anything other than hope his expression hadn’t slipped in his shock at hearing that word whispered into his ear in that voice. “Your belt—it’s made of very fine leather,” Marsdon observed as he ran his fingers along the line of leather encircling Bennett’s waist. Bennett’s eyes went to the strip of black that he’d barely thought of in all the years he’d worn in. Marsdon’s fingers trailed around his body to rest on the belt’s buckle. It would be impolite to brush his mate’s touch away. It would be taken as a sign of disrespect to Marsdon and his current pack. There was nothing he could do but stand there in front of everyone and pray his secret would stay a secret. “It’s just a belt,” he managed to say. “Just?” Marsdon asked, arching an eyebrow at the idea.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
26
As simply as that, Bennett was back in the club. He was lying back on a hard, wooden table, blindly extending his hands over his hands to be bound. His master had used a belt to bind him that night. Slipping the leather through slots in the bench each time they wrapped around his wrists, he’d pinned them tight to the wood. He’d left him there for what felt like hours before he’d finally decided it was time to play with his pup. “Do you really believe leather and buckles can only ever make a belt?” Marsdon whispered in his ear. Bennett swallowed. His eyes dropped to the belt Marsdon wore. His wrists tingled along the line where the restraints had bound him tight. He couldn’t drag his eyes away from the leather. All he could do was wonder if the belt he wore now was the same one Marsdon had used to bind him that night. It looked thick enough to match the prickling strip of skin around his wrists, it looked strong enough to hold him in place forever. “We are ready for the ceremony to begin.” Bennett jerked around to face Marsdon’s father. The older wolf looked amused as he glanced down at the way each of them had placed one of their hands on the other’s belt. Bennett pulled his hand away, not even aware that he’d reached out to the other wolf that way. He turned his face back to Marsdon, only to find the other wolf barely a breath away from his lips. Quickly stepping back, Bennett nodded his understanding. The ceremony… Yes. When Marsdon’s father walked away, Bennett strode after the older wolf, eager to get the ceremony complete before Marsdon had time to truly catch him out with one of his little tests. He couldn’t rely on another wolf’s interruption to save him again. As they walked, Bennett scrambled through his memories, trying to work out if he had done anything at all that could conclusively prove that Marsdon’s suspicions were correct. He’d reached for his belt, he’d rested his fingers against a piece of leather that belonged to his new mate. That was all. They were just…comparing belts? Marsdon fell in step beside him. He made no comment as he and Bennett followed the crowd of wolves across to the edge of the woods that stretched out to one side of the old
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
27
house. Marsdon’s father and the other alphas were already there, waiting for them to take their positions for the ceremony. In mere moments, Marsdon was standing opposite him, and the alphas of their respective packs were joining their hands. There wasn’t any more time left to wonder if Marsdon would go through with the mating regardless of his suspicions. If it was to be called off now, it would be during the event—in the most humiliating way possible. Bennett stared straight ahead, straight past Marsdon as the ceremony began and the eyes of every wolf around them came to rest on them. It was a simple little moment, a simple statement of what was happening. “Alpha to alpha, wolf to wolf. We offer you the chance of form a new life, a new pack, a new line…” Bennett heard the words through thick layers of cotton wool. He forced another breath into his lungs. “A wolf from your pack becomes an alpha of his own pack,” Marsdon replied, his voice strong and steady. He caught Bennett’s eyes and held them through each word. Bennett swallowed as he returned the other man’s gaze. Whatever his suspicions, Marsdon obviously intended to go through with this. He felt his master’s acceptance of him rush through his veins. His pounding heartbeat steadied. Marsdon continued to hold his gaze as Bennett repeated the words back to him. The other wolves’ hands dropped away, leaving Bennett’s and Marsdon’s hands linked together. The heat from his master’s palm burned against his skin, as if the other man could somehow brand him as his, right there and then, while they stood in a crowd of other wolves. Bennett stayed very still as Marsdon took half a step forward. His free hand touched Bennett’s cheek, guiding him to tilt his head back a fraction and receive the simple touch of lips that would complete the ceremony. It was like giving a man dying of thirst a sip of water and then taking any chance of another drop away. It eased none of Bennett’s desperation for a real kiss from his master. It didn’t stop him wanting to drop to his knees to plead for a real kiss either. The brush of lips against lips just made it so much harder to remember that Marsdon wasn’t offering him a repeat of everything that had passed between them those nights in the club. It made it so much harder to face the fact he was no longer allowed to even want that.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
28
No matter how much it hurt, Bennett forced himself to try and take a step back from everything he’d fallen in love with over the last weeks and months. But the hand on his cheek kept him where he was. Marsdon’s tongue licked its way into his mouth. In spite of everything he knew was different now, Bennett couldn’t keep his lips together when his master made it clear he wanted entry. He stood there, entirely helpless, as Marsdon deepened the kiss, turning it from a simple ceremony into something that felt ridiculously close to sex right there in front of everyone. A cheer went up from the crowd of wolves around them. Bennett’s whole body tensed. Marsdon rested their foreheads together as he let a fraction of an inch of air come in between their lips. “Hush, pup. It’s okay. I’ve got you now.” Bennett jerked back, barely able to suppress his horror. He glared at Marsdon as if he had no idea why the other man would call him by that name, as if there was no way calling a grown man a pup could ever represent anything but an insult. Marsdon stared back at him, a strange expression in his eyes. People surrounded them, congratulating them, offering hugs and handshakes from all directions. Bennett managed to smile and nod to everyone. No one seemed to think it strange that he kept his back to Marsdon, purposefully turning to accept the congratulations of whichever wolf was furthest away from his new mate. “Steffan.” Bennett nodded automatically. Then he realised why the wolf was introducing himself, why he was waiting for him to say something important in response. “You are to join our pack?” he realised. The wolf nodded. He was, quite frankly, huge—a wall of solid muscle that loomed over both his new alphas. No doubt he would prove to be a useful beta wolf, when the time came for one of their gamma to be promoted to that role. Bennett scrambled to think of something appropriate to say while his head was still crammed full of Marsdon. “You are welcome,” he managed. Steffan offered him a small, almost shy smile. He stepped back and ushered a smaller wolf towards Bennett. “This is Francis.”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
29
Bennett shook the other wolf’s hand. They’d both kept their eyes lowered when they first addressed him, offering him their submission as was appropriate when they greeted their new alpha. But when Francis looked up, Bennett knew he was being assessed. Smart, he registered. And not as small as he first appeared now that Steffan had taken another step back. He would probably prove to be a useful gamma. A minute fraction of his tension eased when he registered the thought. He was being an alpha. He was assessing the wolves that were to join his pack. He was doing exactly what any alpha in his position should be doing. Even knowing his master was right behind him, he was still able to carry out his duties. He could do this. Another wolf stepped forward. This one truly was tiny. Bennett found himself being careful when he shook his hand. “Our new omega?” he guessed. “Talbot.” Bennett nodded his acceptance of the wolf. “You are welcome.” Talbot smiled his relief, as if he hadn’t been entirely sure any sort of welcome would be offered to him. Bennett made a mental note to keep an eye on him and see that he settled nicely into the pack. Another tiny bit of his tension eased. “There are others,” Francis said. “Alfred is somewhere, and…” Bennett nodded and smiled at them all. “We will all talk later,” he promised, as the members of his former pack demanded his attention from his other side. Familiar faces were soon clustered around him, teasing him about wanting to rush off with his mate so they could be alone together. Bennett forced himself to smile and agree, even as he wished with all his heart that he could put that moment off forever. “Bennett.” Glad for the excuse to speak to a stranger for a few moments, he turned to the wolf on his left. Holding out his hand to accept more congratulations, he found himself face to face with Marsdon’s father again. He met the man’s eyes and held his gaze—the way an alpha should when facing another alpha. His eyes were the same deep brown as Marsdon’s, but to Bennett’s intense relief, they didn’t call to any instinct for submission that might lurk inside him. “It is time we all made our way inside. You should have some time to bond in private before you are left alone with your new pack.”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
30
“Yes,” Bennett agreed, as if he could think of nothing he would enjoy more than to be trapped in a room with his master, scrambling for excuses and lies to hide the weaknesses he’d displayed in the club. He didn’t rush as they walked back to the house, Marsdon silently falling into step beside him along the way. He took the stairs as slowly as he dared while trying not to look unenthusiastic about bonding with his mate. All too soon, they were in their new bedroom. Bennett took a deep breath and turned to close the door behind them, sealing them alone in the room together. Any vain hope that Marsdon had given up on his doubts were short lived. “Did you know before today?” Marsdon asked, the moment the door clicked shut. “Know what?” Bennett asked, retreating to the other side of the room as if putting space between them would actually make it easier for him to keep his sanity intact. Marsdon chuckled. “Are you going to keep pretending we’ve never met forever?” Bennett stared back across the room, forcing his expression to remain blank. Marsdon’s eyes narrowed. “I can understand why you wanted to play out the charade in front of the others, but I’ll be damned if I’ll let you play it while we are alone.” “Charade?” Bennett asked, as innocently as he could. A growl started low in the back of Marsdon’s throat. He stalked forward, closing the space between them without ever breaking eye contact. Bennett stared back at him, knowing that looking down could mean the end of all the equality that needed to exist between an alpha pair. He’d been wrong when he thought Marsdon was testing him outside. Now that the patience Marsdon had evidently shown him while they were in company was tossed aside, he saw how careful the other wolf had actually been before. Now, Marsdon stepped straight into Bennett’s personal space, staring him down. No subtlety, no restraint. He was once more in the presence of the wolf he’d belonged to in that club. His new mate was only an inch taller than him, but he made the most of it. Bennett felt more like a pup crawling at his knee than the newly crowned alpha of his own pack. Swallowing rapidly, Bennett tried to work some moisture into his throat so he could answer properly. “I played my part in the mating ceremony, nothing more,” he said. “There was no charade.”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
31
The growl came back, deeper, more menacing. “If you wanted that to work on your mate, you shouldn’t have agreed to be mated to an alpha,” Bennett told him, and promptly felt a pathetic surge of relief flood through his body at the simple fact his voice didn’t crack when he said it. Marsdon’s lips morphed into a little smile. He took a deep breath, filling his lungs with Bennett scent. “So much better than the cologne,” he whispered in Bennett’s ear. Bennett swallowed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Marsdon snapped his teeth, just short of catching Bennett’s ear between his canines as he leaned in closer to him. His erection pressed against Bennett’s hip bone. Bennett gasped. He would have pulled away, but Marsdon’s smile twisted slightly, as if he was amused by his fear of being too close to his master. Bennett shifted his stance to cover the lapse and stood his ground. “You are the only wolf I react this strongly to,” Marsdon whispered in his ear. He trailed his lips over Bennett’s cheek as he spoke, just above where the leather hood had hidden half his face, as if Marsdon thought he needed to be reminded that he had nothing to hide behind now. “If you are pleased with the man our parents chose to be your mate then—” “Enough,” Marsdon snapped. “I may not have seen your face or breathed your scent before, but I knew who you were the moment I saw you. The moment I had to bite my tongue to keep from ordering you to your knees in front of everyone. The second I wanted to challenge every wolf who so much as shook your hand. The very instant I stopped hating this match, I knew who you were.” Bennett couldn’t breathe. It was too much. Marsdon was too close, his presence surrounded Bennett, crushing the air out of his lungs. He pushed the other man away from him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Marsdon grabbed his shoulder as he tried to step past him. His fingers slid up towards his nape. Bennett spun away from him, snapping at his fingers as panic spiked inside him. “Show me the back of your neck.” “What?”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
32
Marsdon stepped forward. “If you really want me to believe you’re not who I know you are, show me the back of your neck.” He wasn’t entirely sure. Bennett could see it in his eyes. He was ninety-nine percent sure—sure enough to act as if he were certain—but if he didn’t see the mark on the back of his neck, he could never settle that one percent of doubt. Bennett shook his head. “No.” That was the one thing that could never be allowed to happen.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
33
Chapter Three
“Something to hide?” Marsdon asked as he stalked closer to his new mate. Bennett was his pup. His clothes might cover almost every inch of his skin, but he didn’t need to see all of his body in order to recognise him. He had to be. There was no other explanation for it. The other wolf took a step back. His shoulders hit the edge of a wardrobe. Bennett spun around as if to face another attacker. Marsdon launched himself across the room at him, all his patience with silly games thoroughly expended. Bennett turned back to face him just in time to field the attack. They thudded to the floor, rolling on the thick wooden boards. Marsdon’s knee collided with the edge of the bed—the one where they should have been ‘resting’ together to solidify the bond that should have started to grow between them when they took the mating vows. Pain shot through him, but he kept his hold on Bennett. The darker wolf was strong, an even match for him. Marsdon rolled them over, pushing the other man onto his back. Their eyes met. Marsdon saw his mate’s desperation. He didn’t doubt that Bennett saw much the same look in his own eyes. He had to know. He had to be sure. Bennett twisted, trying to throw him off. Marsdon held himself back and let his pup have a brief moment of freedom. His new mate rolled away, but the move was the slowest he’d made. He’d registered that his opponent wasn’t fighting him. He looked back, concern filling his eyes, obviously believing Marsdon was hurt. Marsdon took his chance. He lunged at his mate, pushing him face down on the floor. Bennett flailed and tried to buck him off, but his response was just a second too late. Marsdon straddled him, pinning him down with his weight on the small of his back as one of his hands slid into Bennett’s hair to hold his head down. His other fingers fumbled at the back of his neck. They brushed across a raised line of skin—a scar that perfectly matched the cross he’d cut into his own arm. The fight seemed to drain out of Bennett in one huge rush. He lay limp and defeated under Marsdon’s body. Marsdon cautiously gentled his hold on him, softening his grip until it became a caress. He ran his fingers through Bennett’s hair, glorying in the complete
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
34
certainty that his instincts had been correct and everything between him and Bennett was settled. His mate’s hair was long and shaggy now that it was free to tumble as it wished without the restriction of the hood. He’d known it would be black, like the other hairs on Bennett’s body, but the need to bury his fingers in the strands and never let go was new. Marsdon leant forward and pressed a kiss to the back of Bennett’s head. Nudging the hairs covering the scar aside, he pressed a kiss there too, wondering if he could coax that pleased little moan that he loved to hear from his mate. There was no moan. “It means nothing.” Marsdon frowned. “What?” “It means nothing,” Bennett said again. “The scar, the things we did in that room, none of that means anything.” Marsdon pulled away, more from the thought than the man, but his horror at the idea still gave Bennett room to squirm away from him. “It means everything,” Marsdon snapped, completely unable to understand why anyone would ever say otherwise. Bennett shuffled further away, until he sat leaning against the side of the bed, one knee pulled up in front of his body, as if to shield himself from further attack. “My curiosity got the better of me,” Bennett said. “I thought playing silly human games would show me how the other wolves in the pack live their lives—what makes them happy. So, I tried it. It doesn’t mean anything more than that, I wanted to know how the omegas feel—to know what they need from their alpha.” Marsdon stared across the room at him. Blue. He’d always wondered what his eyes would be like. They were blue, and intense, and perfect. But scared, so very, very scared. “I was there,” Marsdon reminded his lover, trying to gentle his voice a fraction. “I may not have been able to look into your eyes while you wore that hood, but I saw what the nights we spent together meant to you. It wasn’t just curiosity—not for either of us, pup.” “Don’t call me that.” Marsdon moved closer to crouch down in front of him. Bennett tensed, but he stayed where he was.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
35
“You used to like me calling you my pup,” Marsdon said. “You used to like calling your master sir.” Bennett turned his head away. “It was just a few stupid hours. I’m not going to let them ruin my whole life.” Marsdon threaded his fingers into his hair and jerked his mate back around to face him. Kneeling over him, he caught Bennett’s face between his palms and tilted his head back to make the other wolf look him in the eye. For a few seconds Bennett resisted, but then he met his eyes and held them. “I am an alpha.” Marsdon frowned. “I never said you weren’t.” “Then treat me like one!” Bennett demanded. Marsdon sat back on his heels, taking his hands away from Bennett’s face. He stared down at him, trying to work out how the hell the happiest moment of his life could be going so horribly wrong. “You are an alpha. You are also my mate. There’s nothing wrong with—” Bennett turned away again. “What we did those nights wasn’t just a mating.” “I know,” Marsdon agreed. “I’ve never felt that way when I was with another wolf.” Bennett swallowed, staring blankly past Marsdon. “It can never happen again,” he whispered. “Of course it—” “What sort of alpha crawls blindly towards the sound of a master’s voice?” Bennett demanded. “And you really believe I think less of you for doing that?” “An alpha leads,” Bennett snapped. “He doesn’t crawl. He doesn’t accept another man as his master, or answer to being called a pup. I gave my word to our pack that I would be a good alpha. I intend to keep my word.” “You were happy,” Marsdon said, not sure who he thought needed reminding of that right then. “You were…at peace.” Bennett closed his eyes for a second, as if he wanted to deny it, but couldn’t bring himself to do so. “An alpha puts his pack first,” he whispered. He swallowed. “Never again.” “I can’t hear anything.” Marsdon jerked around to face the door.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
36
“Maybe they’re sleeping?” another voice said on the other side of the wood work. “We are both very much awake,” Marsdon called back through. “What do you want?” “The old packs have to leave soon,” a wolf called through the door. “If you wish to share the feast with them, then…” Marsdon sighed. “Very well. You may tell them all that we’re on our way.” Footsteps walked away from the bedroom door. Marsdon turned back to Bennett. For a long time, he couldn’t bring himself to do more than stare at the other wolf. His mate didn’t lower his gaze, but he didn’t meet his eyes either. Apparently a small patch on the wall behind him was far more interesting than he was. “We should get changed and go down.” “Yes,” Bennett agreed. The word sir hung between them, begging to be spoken, begging to be heard, but ultimately remaining unsaid. Marsdon held out his hand to help his mate to his feet. Bennett put his hand in his with only the briefest hesitation. But, when he levered himself up off the floor, none of his weight, none of his trust, rested in Marsdon’s hand. He still didn’t look his mate in the eye. Their clothes had been laid out on an ottoman at the base of the bed. Bennett walked across and picked his up without a word. He turned his back on Marsdon as he pulled his shirt over his head. Marsdon didn’t rush towards his own clothes. He let his eyes feast on Bennett’s skin as the thin white cotton from the mating ceremony was folded and set aside. The muscles along his shoulders flexed with every movement, but they didn’t tense until after he had fallen still. He’d tensed that way when he was wearing the hood too—when he knew he was being watched. Back in the club there had been little he could do about that. Bound and offering himself to Marsdon, inviting his master to do with him as he pleased, a complaint that Marsdon was staring at him would have seemed crazy. As he gazed at his mate’s back, Marsdon felt a prickle of unease run down his own spine. He’d had the right to do whatever he wanted with Bennett because his pup had given him that right. If Bennett chose to change the rules now, then…
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
37
A frown grew between Marsdon’s eyebrows. Bennett looked over his shoulder just in time to see it. His right arm twitched, as if he was about to reach out. No, Marsdon realised a second later, not reach out—as if he would have reached back towards his neck. “I put the mark there so no one else would be able to see it unless you wanted them to,” Marsdon told him. A secret little thing that no one else would ever know about. A little bit of his lover that would always be his alone. Bennett turned away. His hand clenched into a fist as he made an obvious effort not to reach up and touch the cross Marsdon had cut into his skin. “You put it there so I couldn’t ask anyone to kiss me there again,” Bennett said. “Yes. That too.” Marsdon wasn’t about to apologise for it, his own hand had already clenched into a fist at the idea anyone else’s lips could ever touch his mate. He saw Bennett’s throat move as he swallowed several times in quick succession. “And you never asked me,” Marsdon reminded him. “What?” “You never asked me to kiss you there. You never needed to.” His pup had never needed to ask for anything—not when Marsdon was willing to spend so many of the hours they spent in the club, studying his body for little hints and tells his lover couldn’t hide—just so he could work out what Bennett needed from him without his pup ever having to ask him for it. Bennett’s hand clamped over the back of his neck as if he could no longer resist the temptation to touch the mark. Marsdon stepped forward. The floor board creaked. Bennett spun around to face him. Anger and fear warred in his pup’s eyes. Then his expression cleared, his emotions pushed quickly into check. “Everyone’s waiting downstairs.” Marsdon said nothing. Bennett reached for a blue shirt and pulled it over his head, hiding his body away from his master. Even worse than seeing the skin disappear from his view, was the knowledge that he couldn’t do anything about it.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
38
In moments, Bennett had changed his trousers too, switching the belt from the white cotton ones to a pair of black jeans in the process. He hadn’t put anything on under them. Marsdon filed that information away for future reference. Bennett pulled his shoes on and glanced at Marsdon. He looked at the door as if contemplating going down on his own, but he made no move to actually follow through on the idea. He walked over to the window and looked down over the fields instead, his back turned to Marsdon as if making a point of giving him the privacy he hadn’t even thought to offer Bennett. Marsdon quickly switched one set of clothes for another. Bennett glanced over his shoulder. Marsdon tried to catch his eye, but the darker wolf wouldn’t meet his gaze as he walked over to the door. Marsdon caught up with him just in time to put his hand over Bennett’s before he could turn the handle. He couldn’t let his mate leave the room thinking he cared so little, that he would give up so easily. “You know this isn’t over, pup.” Bennett refused to turn and face him. “It was over the moment we walked out of that club. And it’s Bennett—not pup.” Marsdon reluctantly let go of the handle and stepped back to let his mate walk out of the room ahead of him. Bennett strode down the corridor that led to the stairs with complete confidence. Marsdon could see how shaken his lover was by everything that had happened that day, but he would bet his life that no one else would see it. An alpha to the core. Perhaps, if he’d had the sense to notice that when they were playing together in the club, things could have been very different. A cheer went up when they walked into the hall underneath the bedroom they’d ‘rested’ in, knocking Marsdon’s thoughts completely out of line. He automatically reached out to his mate, placing his hand on the small of Bennett’s back. Bennett glanced at him, but made no objection to him leaving his hand there as they walked across the room. The other wolves were all grinning like fools. For a moment Marsdon couldn’t quite work out why. Footsteps echoed down into the hall as someone went up the stairs and walked across the floor in one of the rooms above them.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
39
The struggle when he’d fought to catch a glimpse of the mark on the back of Bennett’s neck would have been relayed directly to all the wolves in the hall. With only the noises to go by, it must have sounded very different to how it actually was. “Come, sit with us,” his parents invited. Marsdon stepped back, deferring to his mate, letting Bennett choose his seat first. About to join him, he changed his mind at the last moment and took a position standing behind Bennett’s chair instead. “I’ll stand, thank you.” One of the younger wolves giggled. He dropped his eyes when Marsdon turned his attention towards him. When he risked a quick glance up a few seconds later, Marsdon let him see his smile, so he could see the newly crowned alpha wasn’t really mad at him. An hour later, he wasn’t feeling quite as generous towards any of their guests. He loved every wolf in his parents’ pack, truly he did. But it was bloody difficult to remember that when they were all there under his feet and all he wanted was be alone with his mate. He wanted them gone. He wanted everyone who wasn’t part of his new pack out of the house, off his lands and safely back where they belonged—in their own homes. He wanted all those who were to stay with him and Bennett sent off to their own beds. And, more than anything, he wanted Bennett in his bed and he wanted the bedroom door closed between them and the rest of the world. He wanted five minutes peace to relish the fact that the mating he’d been dreading for months had fulfilled every desire he’d made himself keep secret. He forced himself to stay standing by Bennett’s chair muttering polite nothings to those wolves who spoke to him. He didn’t manage to make his smile look as convincing as Bennett’s. The only person his mate didn’t seem to have a real smile for was him. Marsdon glanced at his watch and held back a sigh. “Impatient, son?” He met his father’s eyes and saw the humour in them. “It’s getting late. I wouldn’t want your pack to be travelling home in the early hours of the morning,” he said politely. ‘Your pack’—because he was a member of a different pack now—a leader of his own pack. His father chuckled and clapped him on the back. “Perhaps you are right. You have your own pack to settle into a new home, don’t you?”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
40
Marsdon nodded. And his own mate to settle into their new bed too. Gradually his parents’ pack was gathered up and began to trail out of the house. Marsdon turned from the door as they drove way, just in time to see Bennett saying good bye to his parents and his old pack. A glance further down the hall showed those wolves who were to stay with them milling about, waiting for their alphas to turn their attention back to them and give them their first orders. Bennett didn’t know any of them. He’d barely even been introduced to them before being thrown into the middle of the group of wolves and told to lead. As his mate stood at the door, watching all those wolves he was familiar with leaving him behind, Marsdon walked up behind him and rested his hand on his shoulder. His pup didn’t immediately shake his hand away. That was something. “They’ll feel like your pack in no time,” Marsdon promised, looking back at their new family. “They are my pack now,” Bennett said coldly, turning away from him and walking back to the other wolves. Marsdon dropped his hand back to his side. Of course it wasn’t as simple as being left alone with their pack. He knew that wouldn’t fix everything in the world. But having Bennett accept his touch, if only for a few seconds, had been good. Their new pack all tensed when they realised their alphas were ready to address them for the first time. “It’s late,” Bennett said. “You’ve all had a busy day. Off to bed now, all of you. Everything else can wait until tomorrow.” Marsdon stayed a step behind Bennett, letting him give the orders, letting the other wolves get used to taking orders from him. As Marsdon looked around the group, he saw that eight pairs of eyes were completely focused on Bennett. He smiled a fraction at the sight of his mate, relaxing into his true place in the pack. Bennett really was stunning in leadership. He made short work of assigning each of them to the various bedrooms above the hall, but all Marsdon could think about was getting them both back to their own room. When
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
41
Bennett called Talbot back to speak to him after the others had left, Marsdon had to bite back a curse to keep from betraying his impatience. Talbot returned to stand in front of his new alpha. One glance at him and Marsdon felt his annoyance disappear. Talbot had always been a nervous little guy, but Marsdon hadn’t seen him look truly scared before. It took all his strength not to step forward and reassure the smaller wolf himself. Bennett tucked a knuckle under Talbot’s chin and spoke very softly to him. Marsdon could only just make out the murmur of his voice. Talbot nodded and offered his new alpha a small smile. “Go on.” Talbot nodded again and followed the others up the stairs to his new bed. Finally they were left on their own. When Bennett made no move to turn away from his study of the staircase the other wolves had walked up, Marsdon put his hand on his pup’s arm and turned Bennett to face him. Bennett took a deep breath. “If you think trying to loom over me the whole time will make me feel like some little pup, then…” he began, only to trail off and frown at Marsdon’s smile. Marsdon stroked his pup’s hair back from his face so the dark strands didn’t obscure the brilliant blue eyes he’d so recently been permitted a glimpse of. “Our bedroom is directly above the hall, pup. Do you really think they’d believe all that noise was just me trying to steal a look at the back of your neck?” Bennett’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t need you to lie for me in order to gain their respect,” he snapped. “They—” Marsdon tangled his fingers a little more snugly into Bennett’s hair. “You are my mate,” he whispered. “The other wolves in our pack already know me, they don’t know you. Is it really so wrong for me to ease your way with them?” Bennett tried to pull away, but it was a half hearted attempt at best. Marsdon easily kept him where he was. “I know you are strong. I know you will be a good leader—that you are a good alpha. They are already recognising that too, but if I can make sure they realise it more quickly, then I will do that.”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
42
Bennett just stared straight ahead. “Will it make any difference if I tell you not to?” “No,” Marsdon admitted. “Not in this case.” Bennett made no answer. Marsdon leant forward, stopping just short of bringing their lips together. “I will listen if you refuse me permission to do other things.” For a long time, Bennett stayed right where he was. Marsdon could sense his longing for a kiss, but his mate didn’t lean in to claim it the way Marsdon had hoped he would. “I won’t submit to you—you have no right to expect that.” Marsdon stayed where he was, sure there was more to come, sure he would like it just as little as he did the first part of the statement. “But…but you are my mate,” Bennett said. “And I know you have a mate’s right to expect…” “Because it is your duty?” Marsdon asked, stroking his pup’s cheek with the back of his knuckles. Bennett swallowed at the familiar gesture. “An alpha always does his duty.” “Come on then, pup,” Marsdon said. “Come and do your duty by me.” He slid his hand into Bennett’s hand and tugged gently. Bennett stayed where he was. “Don’t call me that. You said you wanted to ease my way with the other wolves—what do you think they’ll think of me if they hear that?” He had a point. He couldn’t expect others to understand what the word really meant between them. “Only ever when we are alone,” Marsdon promised. It wasn’t enough of a compromise. Bennett tried to take his hand back, but Marsdon held onto it. “Come to bed,” he coaxed, walking backwards and keeping hold of Bennett’s hand. His mate gave in, but the look in his eyes was resignation, not pleasure, as Marsdon led him up to the room they’d shared earlier. He nudged Bennett to the bathroom that led off the room and occupied himself with turning down the bed. By the time they’d exchanged places and Marsdon had taken his turn into the bathroom, Bennett had stripped down to his bare skin, but the turned down sheets hadn’t tempted him. His pup had moved across the room to stare out of the window rather than approach the bed.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
43
Marsdon shrugged his own clothes off, putting them with Bennett’s before approaching the slightly younger wolf. His mind was starting to understand that it was not truly the right time to hope his mate would wish to bond with him. His body had no inclination to understand. His pup was back with him. Bennett was his mate. Now that the leather was stripped away, he could see that the man he’d told himself he could never have for more than a few hours was indeed a true alpha—a wolf he could spend the rest of his life with. His cock curved back to his stomach, eager and aching with need. Marsdon placed his hand on Bennett’s shoulder. The other man tensed but didn’t turn towards him. His fingers clenched on the wooden window sill. Marsdon put his other hand on Bennett’s other shoulder. The moonlight falling in through the glass highlighted the way his Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed down his nerves. Marsdon took half a step forward, until they were almost touching. He leant forward and pressed a kiss against Bennett’s bare shoulder. Closing his eyes, he pushed aside his desire to order Bennett to keep that position. It would have been so easy to nudge his lover’s feet further apart and line his body up tight against him. Bennett was so tense it would have taken a lot of care and time to make him ready, but seeing him squirm around his fingers as he turned diligent preparations into teasing would have made the minutes rush past. The reward of burying his cock inside Bennett’s hole, in feeling the other man’s muscles tense and flex around him as they begged him to move would have made the time well spent. “Come to bed?” he whispered instead, taking great care to make it a request rather than an order. Bennett turned and walked past him to the bed. “What do you want?” he asked, as he stopped beside it. It was a good question to ask, and a very hard question to answer. Giving up on words, Marsdon guided him onto the bed instead. Bennett went along with it. His confidence boosted a little by Bennett’s compliance, Marsdon joined him on the bed and encouraged his pup to lie back and relax against the soft pillows. He hadn’t offered his lover a great deal of comfort over their meetings in the club. Bennett didn’t seem at all sure about any of it. Marsdon pulled the blankets up over them
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
44
both. He let his hands rest on the blanket that covered Bennett’s skin for a moment. Then, holding back a sigh, he forced himself to retreat back to his side of the mattress. Bennett turned to look at him, a frown gathering between his brows. “When you are ready to do more, we will,” Marsdon said. “You mean, when I’m ready to submit to you?” Bennett snapped, pushing irritably at the blanket. Marsdon reached out and touched his cheek. “When you can look me in the eye and tell me it means more to you than the fulfilling of a duty,” he corrected. Bennett jerked away from his touch. “You’re obviously exhausted,” Marsdon excused. “If you’ve slept as little as I have over the last nights, it’s little wonder.” Bennett stared past him, apparently not even willing to echo his admission in case it would be taken as a sign of weakness, a sign of not being a true alpha. Marsdon hesitated, not sure what he could ask of his mate right then, not sure how to ask rather than order. He’d always imagined it would be easy. That the traditions they had to follow were the only thing keeping them apart. That perfection was right there waiting for them, if only traditions could be swept aside. He stared at his mate, wondering if there were some magic words that would have his pup wriggling over to his side of his bed to curl up close in his master’s arms. “If you would wish to rest closer to your mate, I would welcome it,” he said softly. “But I don’t demand it.” His mate swallowed, but that was it. Even after Marsdon turned off the lights and let silence settle over the room, Bennett made no move to close the gap between them.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
45
Chapter Four
“I wondered where you were hiding.” Bennett spun around at the sound of his mate’s voice. “I’m not hiding!” He wasn’t. The barn needed to be sorted out so they could decide what was to be done with the space. Just because he had chosen to find a job that involved him being on his own away from the other wolves for a while didn’t mean he was hiding from anyone. Marsdon’s smile faltered. He stopped several yards away from him, apparently deciding he didn’t want to be closer to his mate than that, right then. “It wasn’t an accusation.” Bennett held back a sigh. “Sorry,” he muttered. Marsdon was quick to offer him a forgiving smile. “It’s okay, pup.” The smile only reminded him that Marsdon had already had to forgive him for a lot of things—things an alpha should never have to forgive in a mate. The pet name only made Bennett’s shoulders knot with further tension. “I asked you not to call me that,” he reminded his mate for what felt like the millionth time. “Everyone else is back in the house. It’s just us, now.” Bennett shook his head wondering why Marsdon couldn’t understand that privacy didn’t make it okay for him to tempt him with everything he’d had to give up in order to take his rightful place as an alpha of his own pack. He picked up one of the boxes of junk he’d accumulated as he tried to put the barn in some sort of order. Placing it on top of a pile of similarly filled boxes, he gave the simple task his complete attention. A piece of old rusty metal stuck out of the top of the box. He’d damn near sliced his boot and his foot open on it before he found it mixed in with a pile of old hay. Bennett stared at the jagged edge, remembering another piece of metal slicing the skin at the back of his neck. Perhaps if he hadn’t been foolish enough to ask for a mark, he would have been able to convince his master he wasn’t the man from the club.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
46
He turned and picked up another box of odds and ends, quick to leap on any excuse to keep his back to the man he’d called master for so many nights. It didn’t really help. He’d spent so long hooded in the other wolf’s presence, he was used to tracking his movements blind. He felt the change in the air as Marsdon stepped closer behind him. “You’ve been working hard.” Bennett ignored him, not sure what he could say without reverting to the role of a pup who was pleased he’d pleased his master. He lifted the box over his head to put it on top of the pile. “Pup—” Bennett jerked away from his task, spinning around to face his master, only to be stopped short. “Don’t—ow! Damn!” Bennett tugged at his sleeve. It remained firmly caught on the old piece of iron from the first box. “Stay still!” Another order from his master was the last thing he needed right then. He tugged at the sleeve and succeeded in stabbing himself in the wrist with the remains of the tool and almost bringing the boxes crashing down around him in the process. Marsdon’s hand wrapped around his wrist. His other hand steadied the boxes. “Stay still,” he repeated. He was right up close behind him, pressed against Bennett’s back so he could reach around his body and keep a firm grip on his wrist and support the boxes at the same time. “I can’t release you if you keep wriggling,” his master said, as if explaining the situation to a real pup, too young to realise such things on his own. “I can do it myself,” Bennett said. He always took himself out of the bondage in the club—his master had only ever needed to undo one hand before he left. His other hand was free. His master was gone. Bennett didn’t need the other wolf’s help. Marsdon sighed, and caught hold of his other wrist too. Bennett froze in his hold as memories he’d tried to push away came flooding back, memories of those hours before Marsdon had released him from his bondage. There were times since he walked out of that club for the last time when he would have sold his soul to feel Marsdon holding him in place that way.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
47
“Unless you’re going to grow another arm in the next few minutes, stop acting like an fool and stay still,” Marsdon ordered. “Let your mate help you.” Bennett nodded, not trusting himself to avoid the word sir if he said anything at all right then. His master didn’t make him wait, he didn’t go out of his way to remind him that he’d put himself in that sort of vulnerable position dozens of times over the weeks and months he’d visited the club. His mate unhooked him from the metal and turned him around. Bennett glanced down. There was a hole in his sleeve, a slight scrape on his skin underneath it. It was nothing, but it was a convenient excuse to keep his eyes lowered for a few moments without feeling as if he was betraying every scrap of faith that his family and his new pack had placed in him. Marsdon took hold of his wrist again. Bennett automatically tried to pull away, but he was backed up against the boxes. Marsdon’s hand tightened around his skin, keeping him where he was. He took his time examining the scrape. “It’s nothing,” Bennett said. “You should be more careful.” Bennett met his eyes. If he hadn’t been thinking about Marsdon rather than what he was doing, he wouldn’t have made such a silly mistake. If he hadn’t been more focused on not being a pup than he was on taking care of his duties as an alpha then— “I was always careful with you,” Marsdon reminded him, very softly. Bennett’s hand clenched into a tight fist within Marsdon’s hold. “I never asked you to be.” “Just like Talbot never asked you to be as gentle as you are with him?” Bennett felt the blood drain out of his face. He met his mate’s eyes and saw the moment when Marsdon realised what he’d just said. “That’s not what I meant—” his mate began, as if there was anything that could take those words back. “It is exactly what you meant,” Bennett growled. “An omega never needs to ask for an alpha’s care—it’s given as a matter of course. Isn’t it?” “That’s the way you care for Talbot, yes.”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
48
Bennett snatched his hand back, tearing his wrist out of the other man’s grip as he stepped past him and strode into the middle of the barn, needing space. “Wolves in the same pack care for each other,” Marsdon went on. “Mates care for each other. I was speaking about you as a mate, nothing else.” Bennett said nothing. “I’ve never said you are anything other than an alpha.” Bennett grabbed an old fence post and tossed it towards the others he’d laid tidily in one corner of the barn. The neat little pile collapsed, unable to withstand the additional pressure. Bennett couldn’t bring himself to feel surprised. “Are you listening?” Marsdon demanded. “No,” Bennett lied—as if he was capable of ignoring Marsdon. Marsdon caught him by the shoulder and spun him around, making him face him. Bennett flung his touch away. His master stood very still as Bennett started to pace around him, anger at himself and everything around him making it impossible for him to stand still and simply face the other wolf the way he knew an alpha should. “I was talking about the care a mate has for his mate,” Marsdon repeated. Bennett shook his head, brushing all that nonsense aside. “What did you think I was?” he demanded. “In the club—tell me what you thought I was.” “I knew you were a wolf.” Bennett pushed his master back against the barn wall, suddenly unable to take it anymore. “Don’t play silly games with me. Answer the question.” “I thought you were an omega.” It was what Bennett had been pushing him to say from the start. And now he’d said it. Bennett stared at the wall behind Marsdon’s shoulder for a long time before he summoned the control he needed in order to step back from his mate, releasing him from his hold. Marsdon stayed leaning against the wall, as if he’d chosen to be there from the start. “And you still wonder why I won’t go back to that?” Bennett asked. “You asked what I thought you were then, not what I think you are now.” Bennett stood in the middle of the room, staring across at his master, unable to meet his gaze, unable to lower his eyes. He had to swallow before he could trust his voice to come
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
49
out clear and strong—the way an alpha’s voice should sound. “I meant what I said before. What happened there will never happen again. You’ll never have cause to regret accepting me in spite of this.” “And you think that’s what I did—that I accepted you in spite of what happened in the club?” Marsdon asked. His gaze narrowed. He looked as pissed off as hell. “I know you suspected who I was before the mating,” Bennett said. “You had every right to call it off.” Marsdon shook his head, but Bennett knew it was true. “The scar was all the proof you needed.” “And what does this scar prove?” Marsdon asked, rolling back his shirt sleeve. Bennett turned his face away. “Pup?” Bennett pushed his hair back out of his face. He was just so tired of it all. Tired of the lies. Tired of the truth. “Pup?” his master pushed again. “It means nothing,” Bennett whispered. “No. That’s not true, is it?” Bennett took a deep breath and let it out. “We’re talking in circles. There’s no point. We just need to forget anything that happened before the mating ceremony.” If they could just pretend that none of it had ever happened. If they could start again from scratch. If Marsdon would just pretend that there was no reason for anyone to think that he was anything less than the alpha he would act like from now on… “I don’t want to forget.” Bennett rubbed the scar on the back of his neck. Back then, he’d never wanted to forget either. “I remember all of it,” Marsdon said. “Every detail. Every moment we spent together.” Bennett shook his head. “Leave it be.” It was more a pup’s plea than an alpha’s order, but anything that would stop his master from dredging up every single memory of all that he had lost would be worth it. “I remember the first night I saw you tied up and waiting for me,” Marsdon began.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
50
And it really sounded like he intended to go through every detail of every night they’d spent in that club. That couldn’t happen. “The first time you saw me tied up, I didn’t even know you existed,” Bennett threw at him. “I wasn’t waiting for you—anyone would have done. I remember that.” “Bennett,” Marsdon warned, as if he suddenly had a right to complain at being reminded of a detail he would rather forget. Warnings be damned. “I remember going to that club, putting the hood on and telling the human behind the desk that I would accept anyone,” Bennett said, relishing their positions being reversed for once, Marsdon shook his head, a growl starting to rumble in the back of his throat. “Anyone capable of throwing around a few orders while he screwed me would have done,” Bennett bit out. “You don’t mean that,” Marsdon said—slotting each word into the sentence very carefully, as if it required every bit of his control to say them calmly. “And you’d know, would you?” Bennett taunted. “Yes!” Marsdon snapped. “I’d know, pup. Just like I know you’re lying when you tell your master that you didn’t love every minute you spent obeying his orders. Just like I know you still want it.” Bennett shook his head, as if it would ever be that easy to deny it all. “I didn’t pick you,” he growled. “I didn’t even see your face until yesterday. It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t special. You could have been anyone.” “Maybe the first time. Maybe,” Marsdon allowed. “But once I laid a hand on you, you were mine. You couldn’t have submitted to anyone but your master after that.” Bennett opened his mouth. I did. I submitted to dozens of other men. But the words wouldn’t come, he couldn’t force them past his lips. He couldn’t lie to his master.
Marsdon stared across the barn at his mate. He seemed far more like a stranger now than he did that first night he laid eyes on him. “I never met anyone else at the club,” Marsdon offered. “I never took control of anyone else. I never wanted to once I met you.”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
51
Bennett still seemed unable to make the same admission. Marsdon pushed down his temper. He knew Bennett hadn’t submitted to anyone else. He just wanted to hear him say it. Marsdon closed his eyes for a second and reminded himself that what he wanted wasn’t important right then. And he didn’t truly need to hear him say it to know it was true anyway. There were so many things he hadn’t had to hear Bennett say out loud to know what the silent truth was. “You were stunning,” he whispered. Bennett met his eyes for a moment. Marsdon wouldn’t have wished away the right to look into those eyes for the world, but he still couldn’t stop his mind rushing back to that first night, way back before he had ever been able to see his whole face. Stretched out on a St. Andrew’s cross, naked but for that damn hood, Bennett had been glorious. Marsdon wasn’t lying when he said he remembered every detail. He remembered standing in the doorway with one of the humans who worked at the club as if it happened minutes rather than months ago. He remembered being told that the only limit Bennett had set on what could be done with him was that the hood had to stay in place. It had sounded like such a fantastic complement to his need to find out what it would be like to give into his desire to take complete control of a mate. He remembered closing the door and sealing himself in the room alone with the other man. He remembered discovering that his new submissive was a wolf rather than a man. He remembered discovering what a perfect match Bennett actually was for him. “It can never happen again.” Marsdon blinked his way back into the here and now, pushing away his memories of what felt like perfection in order to face the imperfections of the situation in front of him. It seemed like a lifetime ago now, but Marsdon knew what he remembered was right. They’d both wanted it. From that first moment where they stood there like idiots in the back room of a human club with no idea how humans would act in that situation, and with no idea what a wolf should do either, they’d both wanted what they found there. They’d both needed it. Marsdon met Bennett’s eyes across the barn. He felt just as clueless now as he had then.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
52
“You were thinking about how things were in the club,” Bennett accused. It wasn’t a question, but Marsdon answered anyway. “Yes.” “That can never happen again,” Bennett repeated. Marsdon studied him for several long seconds. “So, if not that, what do we do?” Because if Bennett thought he knew the answer to that, he was destined to be very disappointed in him. “Other alphas manage to mate as equals. There’s no reason why we can’t,” Bennett said. Marsdon raised an eyebrow at the idea. It was hard to work out which of them his mate was trying to convince. “You said you recognise that I’m an alpha, that I’m your equal,” Bennett challenged. “Prove it.” Marsdon stepped forward, slowly closing the gap between them, willing to try anything at all if it might get them out of this stalemate. Bennett stayed exactly where he was in the middle of the barn, studying his every move. He was as still right then as he had ever been in bondage. Stopping in front of him, Marsdon touched his cheek. It was a request for him to tilt his head back and be kissed. Not an order, a request. Bennett allowed him to guide his head back. Marsdon carefully brushed their lips together. Bennett made no objection. When he deepened the kiss, Bennett allowed that too. Marsdon felt a rush of relief sweep through his body. If all his mate needed him to do was learn nicer manners, that was easily fixed. Half a step forward brought their bodies together. Bennett half reached out to him in return and then he hesitated. Marsdon pretended he hadn’t noticed any of it. Bennett was unfamiliar with the freedom of movement he had right then. It was only to be expected that everything would be a bit tentative between them. A minute passed. Bennett cautiously lifted a hand and threaded his fingers into Marsdon’s hair. That deserved a reward. Marsdon deepened the kiss even further, sliding his tongue against Bennett’s lips, hoping to coax a pleased little murmur from him. Bennett stayed silent.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
53
Marsdon frowned. It felt like an eternity since the mating ceremony ended. But now, when he was finally being welcomed close and he was finally allowed to touch his mate, it felt like they were both moving through treacle. Everything was ridiculously slow and careful. Part of Marsdon could accept that, part of him even saw that it was to be expected. Everything was new all over again. They were only just getting to know each other. It was more complicated than things had been back in the club. Marsdon could understand all of that. Hell, if it was what made Bennett happy they could move at glacier speed. Slow wasn’t the real problem. Marsdon’s frown deepened as he tried to work out what really felt so wrong between them. Even though his hands rested on Bennett’s body, it still felt like he was miles away. The connection he’d felt with his lover seemed dull and muted. Marsdon persevered, deepening the kiss once more, searching for what he’d felt in the club, desperate to feel truly alive again. He settled one of his hands on the small of his mate’s back, encouraging him closer still until they were pressed tight together. Bennett complied. Marsdon rocked his hips a fraction, the way he had so many times when they were back at the club and he wanted to tempt his pup to pull against his restraints in an effort to thrust back against his master. Bennett stood very still, making no effort to copy the movement. Marsdon pressed carefully against his back, trying to nudge him into following his lead without making any demands upon him. His mate shifted his stance, but that was it. Barring those times when he had just allowed his pup to come, it was practically the first time he could remember bringing their bodies into line and not feeling an erection press eagerly against him. Marsdon faltered. When they’d played in the club everything was easy. When he’d made demands rather than polite little requests, his pup had been hard and on the verge of begging within moments of his master walking into the room. This wasn’t sex. It wasn’t mating. It was Bennett going through the motions because he felt like it was his duty to let his mate screw him. A growl broke from the back of Marsdon’s throat. Anger shot through his veins. He shoved Bennett back against the wall of the barn. His mate blinked up at him, shock and
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
54
confusion filling his eyes. When he tried to straighten up, Marsdon pushed him back again. Bennett parted his lips to speak. That couldn’t happen. No words. Words made things complicated. They hadn’t needed words or names or traditions to understand each other when they were in the club, and they didn’t need them now. Marsdon covered his mate’s lips with his own, demanding access now, demanding his submission. A confused little murmur escaped from Bennett’s throat. It sounded as if some part of him remembered that they weren’t supposed to be doing this, but he had no real idea why. His hands pressed against Marsdon’s chest. His fists clenched and unclenched in Marsdon’s shirt as if he wasn’t sure if he wanted to pull him closer or push him away. No. Bennett shouldn’t have to make any decisions. Marsdon was his master. Decisions were his responsibility—looking after his pup was his responsibility. He caught Bennett’s wrists in his hands and pinned them back against the rough wooden boards, taking away any pressure Bennett might have felt to do anything other than respond to his master the way he had back in the club. For a moment, Bennett fidgeted within his grip—testing his hold on him but making no real attempt to push him away. Marsdon tightened his grasp, letting his mate feel his master’s strength. Bennett stopped trying to move. He accepted his master’s control over him as easily and as perfectly as he ever had. His lips slowly parted, not just permitting his master entry, but accepting him the way he hadn’t been able to when they’d stood in the middle of the barn playing silly games. Marsdon growled into the kiss, success rushing through his veins as he felt his pup extend a cautious welcome. Bennett’s tongue traced a line along the outside of his lips, asking for permission to play too. Relief pushed aside the victory swirling through Marsdon’s blood. He gentled the kiss, letting Bennett explore his mouth as his pup deepened his side of the kiss and tasted his master properly for the first time. When he hesitated, Marsdon coaxed him to give his desire free reign until he finally leant back a fraction and brought the kiss to an end. Bennett blinked up at him, heavy lidded and almost sleepy with the relief of submission. Their eyes met, Marsdon saw the calm that had been so conspicuous in its absence over the last few days. Releasing one of Bennett’s wrists he cupped Bennett’s cheek
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
55
in his palm, holding his head steady so he could brush a gentle kiss over both his eyelids, welcoming his first sight of submission without a hood in the way. Trailing his mouth back down to Bennett’s lips again, he pressed their bodies together once more. His other hand released Bennett’s other wrist and went to his waist band, burrowing under his shirt so he could feel skin beneath his palm. Bennett murmured his pleasure, arching against the hand, as eager for his master’s touch as he had ever been. The sound went straight to Marsdon’s cock. Relief at finding the solution to all their problems made him light headed. His pup had elected to dispense with the belt that morning. Right then it didn’t matter that he’d probably rejected even that bit of leather creeping into his life. Its absence let Marsdon’s hand slip past the waist band of his trousers to palm Bennett’s buttocks under the fabric. Whimpering his pleasure at his touch, his mate wriggled enthusiastically against his hand. Marsdon pushed their bodies even closer together letting the other wolf feel the pressure holding him against the wall. Bennett’s hands stopped hanging idly at his sides, he suddenly seemed to realise they were free. They moved immediately to Marsdon’s back, encouraging him to thrust against him properly this time. The clothes separating them didn’t matter. The fact that Bennett was free to touch and Marsdon wasn’t in control of where his pup’s hands wandered didn’t matter. Bennett wanted his master just as much as he wanted his pup—that was everything. Marsdon’s hand on Bennett’s arse led him into a thrust against his master in time with him. He was quick to take the cue and run with it. Every movement was muffled through the layers of cloth, but that wasn’t important. They were both already so hard, both so close. Starved and desperate, they rubbed against each other like wolves who had never known a lover’s touch—who didn’t know how to do more than thrust, and cling to each other, and hope. Close. So close. Marsdon could feel the tension building in Bennett’s body. The slightest little thing would probably be enough to send him over the edge, and he needed Bennett to fall over that drop so badly he could taste it. His desire to please his pup, to prove to them both that this was what Bennett wanted too, overpowered his own need for his own release. Reminding Bennett of the pleasure to be found under a master’s care was everything.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
56
“That’s right, pup,” Marsdon coaxed into the kiss. “Come for your master, pup.” Without warning, Bennett tried to jerk back. The wall of the barn made any retreat impossible. Twisting away to the side instead, he broke the kiss. Growling his frustration, Marsdon tried to catch his lips for another kiss, but Bennett turned his face away completely. The hands that had been pulling him closer pushed at his shoulders. Marsdon rocked back, regained his balance and stepped in close to his mate again. “I…I’m not your pup,” Bennett mumbled, staring down at the floor to one side of them. His voice faltered as he said it, each word uncertain and filled with confusion. “What?” Marsdon blinked down at his mate, trying to make sense of it. “I said—I’m not your pup,” Bennett snapped, anger rushing in to push any hesitation aside. Marsdon chuckled in his relief—that was all that was wrong? “Fine. Bennett,” he whispered in his mate’s ear—willing to call him whatever the hell he wanted if it would get them back to thrusting against each other. He touched Bennett’s check, guiding him to turn his face up for another kiss. Bennett refused. “I’m not your pup,” he repeated. “And you’re not my master.” Marsdon tensed, hating hearing him saying it. They were said like words Bennett had memorised by rote. As if he was only saying them because he had trained himself to repeat them at every conceivable opportunity. They weren’t said as if he meant them, but Marsdon still hated them. “We are what we are,” he said, as calmly as he could. Without thinking he let the hand that rested on his mate’s cheek, slide towards the back of his neck. His fingers brushed against the cross hidden under stands of hair, eager to feel the reassurance of its presence. Bennett pushed him away. Shocked by the force, Marsdon stumbled back a few steps. His pup blinked as if trying to make sense of a world that had shifted under his feet. “You…I—” Bennett shook his head as if trying to clear it. He closed his eyes. As Marsdon watched, the colour drained from his mate’s face. His whole body tensed. The last traces of the submissive he’d known in the club bled away, leaving his mate a hollow shell, leaving Bennett’s eyes lifeless when he opened them.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
57
Marsdon stepped forward, automatically reaching out to comfort the other wolf. Bennett jerked away as if Marsdon had raised a hand to strike him. For several long seconds, Marsdon stood there with his hand stretched out towards his pup. He waited, giving Bennett every chance in the world to step forward, to reach out, to do anything at all to close the gap between them. Bennett straightened, squaring his shoulders and tilting back his head as he stepped away from the support the barn wall offered him. “You have my apology.” “What?” Bennett stared past him as if they were strangers. “I told you that I would never give you reason to be ashamed of your mate,” he said. “You have my apology.” “You think I’m ashamed of you?” Marsdon demanded. “You were promised an alpha—a mate who was capable of remembering that he was an alpha and what that title means,” Bennett said, without any trace of emotion. “I got the mate I wanted.” Bennett stared at the floor between them for a long time. Marsdon held his breath, waiting to hear their fate. “I gave you my word,” Bennett said. “An alpha keeps his word.” “I don’t want you to promise me that you won’t submit to me!” Marsdon shouted. “You’re a true alpha,” Bennett said, his voice perfectly level. Marsdon pushed down his temper and tried to focus. “Yes. We’re both—” “Then maybe this is what you want right now,” Bennett allowed. “But what happens tomorrow or the next day? What about next month or next year? What happens on the day you need to know your mate is standing strong besides you? What happens when you turn to me and feel nothing but contempt?” “I would never—” “The pack needs strong alphas,” Bennett cut in again. “It needs two strong alphas—not one who can lead and one who crawls on the floor when another man clicks his fingers!” “The pack doesn’t need an alpha who’s living a lie!” Bennett took a deep breath. “You have every right to call me a liar after the way I behaved here today, but—”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
58
“Don’t twist what I said!” “Claiming an alpha’s right to lead means accepting his responsibilities. It means accepting that I can’t show this sort of weakness any more. I should never have indulged my curiosity the way I did. But I can’t change that now. All I can do is ask you to draw a line under my mistakes and let me prove to you that I can be the kind of mate who’ll be a credit to you.” “You make it sound as if what we were doing was wrong,” Marsdon protested. “Would you accept another wolf’s hands wrapping around your wrists and pinning you to the wall?” Bennett asked. About to answer on automatic, Marsdon stopped short. “The truth,” Bennett demanded. “Would you?” Marsdon took a deep breath. He met his mate’s eyes. Bennett nodded, not needing to hear him say it out loud. They both knew he couldn’t have done that, and if he had found himself in that position against his will, he wouldn’t have been able to take the slightest pleasure in being there. “Do you accept my apology for what happened here tonight or not?” Bennett asked. Marsdon shook his head. “You have nothing to apologise for.” For all the effort his pup was obviously putting into keeping every trace of emotion inside, he flinched as if he had been slapped. “Bennett?” “You really think I want to be told you don’t expect any better from me than this?” Bennett demanded. His hand swept through the air—pointing out the spot on the barn wall where they had come so close to perfection, as if some horrible crime had been committed there. “You did nothing wrong,” Marsdon told him. “Not here, not in the club.” Bennett shook his head and said nothing. “Pup?” “One day you’ll expect better from me.”
****
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
59
Hours later, long after the sun had set and the other wolves had been sent off to their beds, Marsdon still found himself trying to think of something to say to his mate. “I can’t accept an apology for something I don’t believe is wrong,” he finally said. If there were better words, they were a mystery to him. Bennett sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the blank wall opposite him as if it contained all the secrets of the world. “Bennett?” Marsdon prompted. “Before that first night in the club, would you have accepted a mate who couldn’t come to you as your equal?” “I hadn’t met you then. I didn’t know that I could feel that way about…” “About an omega?” Bennett asked. “About an alpha. About you. About anyone.” “You don’t have to settle for what you’ve become accustomed to,” Bennett said. “I just want you,” Marsdon confessed. “I want things to be the way they have always been between us.” Bennett sighed as he lay down on the bed with his back to Marsdon. He looked exhausted, and scared and more fragile than any wolf Marsdon had ever set eyes on. Marsdon tried not to jostle the mattress as he lay down next to him. He stared at the back of his head for a long time, wishing he knew how Bennett would react if he spooned behind him and held him close, offering him physical comfort to make up for those right words he’d proved himself so incapable of finding. Reaching down to the bottom of the bed, he pulled the blanket up over them instead. Bennett made no move to tuck the blanket around his body, as if he couldn’t even bring himself to admit that he needed any sort of protection from the chill that had crept into the air when the sun went down. Marsdon cautiously reached over and pulled it up around his shoulders, wanting to soothe without giving Bennett any reason to think that he believed his mate was weak. Bennett made no objection. Marsdon wished he could take that to mean Bennett didn’t mind him fussing over him a little, but with each day that passed it was becoming increasingly clear that he couldn’t assume his mate would like the same things his pup had.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
60
Marsdon closed his eyes and bit at his lip. His pup, in any real sense of the word, was dead.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
61
Chapter Five
“Have you decided if our pack will keep its ties with your parents’ pack, or will we be seeking alliances with those neighbouring us instead?” Marsdon glanced across at Alfred and forced himself to be patient. It wasn’t easy when he’d spent most of the previous few nights wide awake and staring at the ceiling as he turned everything that had ever happened between himself and Bennett over and over inside his head, trying to find a way to fix the whole world. “We’ll keep strong ties with our old pack. And with Bennett’s former pack, of course.” “Tradition says we only need to keep close ties with the pack the alpha came from.” Marsdon tilted his head to the side as he sensed that this line of questions was different to all the others Alfred had bombarded him with throughout the day. Alfred had a well deserved reputation as a trouble maker, but for the life of him, Marsdon couldn’t see where he was headed with this. It was practically impossible for him to stir up trouble between them and another pack unless he was included in the talks they conducted with other packs, and that wasn’t going to happen. The alpha stayed very still, resisting the temptation to reach up and push a hand through his hair in frustration. All the damn traditions were what had got him and Bennett into this mess in the first place. “I’m hardly going to cut all the ties to my parent’s pack just because it was also your former pack,” he said as calmly as he could, still trying to guess what else his young cousin could be up to. “Yes. But there’s no reason to keep ties with his pack too,” Alfred said. Marsdon felt the change in the atmosphere as all the other wolves pricked up their ears. From half way across the room, he sensed Bennett tense. His mate’s attention shifted away from his conversation with Francis and Steffan and across to Marsdon and Alfred. “Bennett is just as much the alpha of our pack as I am,” Marsdon said, very clearly— making sure every wolf who heard the insult would hear his response to it.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
62
“A pack can only have one alpha,” Alfred said. Marsdon raised an eyebrow at him. “One alpha pair,” he corrected. “One alpha male,” Alfred shot back. “And we all know who that is.” “We’re hardly the first pack where the alpha pair won’t be the breeding pair,” Marsdon said, forcing the words to hide his temper. “Two alpha males. Two alpha females. If they are mated, they are an alpha pair. You’re old enough not to need to have that explained to you.” It was practically the only thing about him and Bennett that tradition didn’t object to. He wasn’t about to lose that as well—or more to the point, risk Bennett taking it into his head that the fact that they were both male was another problem that needed to be fixed. Bennett came across and stood at Marsdon’s side, facing Alfred across the table where they’d spread out the maps that showed the boundary of the lands they’d been gifted to raise their pack on. “I can accept that your loyalties lie with the alpha you know, the one who came from your parents’ pack,” Bennett said. Marsdon ached to point out that he had no intention of accepting any such thing, but he bit his tongue, willing to agree with anything Bennett said to the others in their pack right then. He was more than willing to agree the sky was green if that was what it took to display a united front with his mate before the pack. “But you are a member of our pack now,” Bennett continued. “Marsdon’s and my pack.” Marsdon nodded his firm and honest agreement of that point if nothing else. “I don’t expect you to fake respect for a wolf you don’t know well enough to form any sort of opinion on. But I am your alpha now—a temper tantrum is not going to change that.” Alfred squared his shoulders. “I only see one alpha. If you want me to believe otherwise, you’ll have to prove it.” “A formal challenge?” Marsdon asked, not quite able to believe it. He rounded the table and stepped straight into Alfred’s space, looming over the smaller man. “What history book are you living in? There hasn’t been a challenge like that issued since before any wolf in this pack was born. Are you trying to set the ways of a pack back a hundred years?”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
63
Alfred took a step back, lowering his gaze and bowing his head, offering his overt submission to his alpha. But there wasn’t a trace of respect in his tone when he spoke. “You are an alpha. He’s not. If calling him one is a mark of progress then perhaps we need to be set back a hundred years.” Marsdon felt the growl start low in the back of his throat. He couldn’t stop it from escaping. He turned his attention to all the other wolves lurking just within earshot. “And you all agree with this?” he demanded. Alfred had laid his foundations well. Whatever had caused him to start stirring up trouble, he hadn’t launched an unprepared attack. He’d made sure his doubts were well seeded in the other wolves’ minds too. Not one of them spoke up in Bennett’s defence. “I accept.” Marsdon’s attention snapped across to Bennett. His mate met his gaze, his expression entirely blank. When Bennett turned away from him, he looked to the other wolves in the room individually. One blink and his attention seemed to shift towards the room itself. “I’ll prove myself outside,” he said. “No point making a mess in here.” He turned and walked out as if, in spite of the challenge, he had no doubt that every wolf in that room would follow wherever he led. Marsdon strode out after him, the other wolves hot on his heels. When he reached his mate’s side, Bennett was surveying their new land in the late evening light. “Over there,” he ordered. “The longer grass on the other side of the fence.” The other wolves went where he pointed. Marsdon could see the uncertainty in them, the instinct to follow where an alpha led fighting against the doubts Alfred had put in their heads. A challenge, a bloody challenge…Marsdon still couldn’t quite wrap his mind around it. His mate stepped forward, apparently well ahead of him and perfectly ready to deal with the situation. Marsdon caught hold of Bennett’s arm. “You know that there is more to being an alpha than winning a fight,” he rushed out. Bennett glared over his shoulder at him as he shook off Marsdon’s touch. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
64
Marsdon quickly regained his grip on him. “Of course I don’t want you to fight. Of course I would take your place if I could—you are my mate,” he whispered, desperately trying to keep his words hushed enough that they couldn’t be overheard. “But I also have no doubt you will win. If I didn’t know you’re an alpha then I wouldn’t be standing back and letting you do this.” Bennett stared at him for several seconds as if judging his sincerity. His eyes sparkled with more life, more vitality than Marsdon had ever seen. “I need to do this,” he said, confidence in his decision ringing in every word. “I need to know they have no doubts—they need to know it too.” Marsdon held back a sigh. “There is more to being an alpha than winning a fight,” he said again. “Do not do them any harm that can’t be healed.” Bennett nodded. Marsdon still kept hold of his arm. “Alfred is a vicious little sod. He fights dirty. Don’t turn your back on him. Steffan is big and strong, but he’s slow. He’ll test you and he’ll leave you feeling as if you’ve been run over by a silver plated train, but he won’t intend to do you any harm that can’t be quickly healed. Francis is watchful—he’ll see how you fight the others and work out his plan—do something different and you’ll scare the hell out of him.” Bennett listened as Marsdon told him whatever he thought would help. He didn’t want to hear it. Marsdon knew that. He knew that Bennett was only letting his mate help him because he could see that Marsdon needed to do that. Working through each of the wolves, he came to the last. His youngest cousin stood on the other side of the clearing with the other wolves, but his attention was fixed firmly on his alphas. “Talbot is a true omega.” Bennett knew that already. It was all he needed to know. The darker wolf nodded. Marsdon hesitated before he leaned in and kissed him gently on the cheek. “Mine,” he told him. Bennett frowned, quick to see the word as an attempt to establish his dominance. “My mate,” Marsdon whispered in his ear. “My alpha. Show them that you are their alpha too.”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
65
Finally letting go of Bennett’s arm, he fell in step beside him as they approached the grass that had been trampled down to make an old fashioned fighting circle. Bennett stopped in the middle of the circle, but Marsdon kept walking until he reached the far side, where the other wolves were waiting. “You’re all ready?” Marsdon asked, looking them over. They were practically humming with tension. One by one they nodded. Not one of them would look him in the eye. “As of this moment, you are all in limbo—you have no pack, no alpha, no family. Bennett will remain in the centre of the circle. When you accept him as your alpha, and he accepts you as part of our pack, you will pass through to the other side of the circle. Then, and only then, you may come out of limbo. Understand?” “And if he fails the challenge?” Alfred asked. “Tradition states that he will find his true place in the pack when he finds which wolves offer him their submission,” Marsdon said coldly, willing to be damned before he said there was any possibility that Bennett’s rightful place in the pack was anything other than leading it at his side. He turned back to Bennett and offered his mate a somewhat forced smile. “Ready?” Bennett nodded, staring straight back at him, meeting his eyes without hesitation. Marsdon stepped into the circle. He held the other alpha’s gaze as he walked across the trampled down grass. When he stood directly in front of Bennett, he leant forward and brushed their lips together. “My mate. My alpha. My pack.” He smiled and walked across to the other side of the circle. “But—” Alfred began behind him. “Bennett has nothing to prove to me,” Marsdon bit out. He took his position on the other side of the circle, waiting for the other members of his new pack to see sense and join him. Steffan would be first. Marsdon had no doubt about that. Alfred talked a good game, but he wouldn’t have the balls to step forward until he knew Bennett was exhausted after his fights with the other wolves.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
66
They all stood there, waiting for another wolf to make his move first, until Steffan finally stepped into the circle to face Bennett. The two wolves slowly began to circle each other, assessing each other for any sign of weakness. Without warning, Steffan lunged. Bennett side stepped him. Marsdon could see in Bennett’s eyes that his mate wasn’t going to rush into anything. He had more patience than Marsdon would have had, more understanding of strategy. Steffan lunged again, then feinted and changed direction at the last moment. Bennett wasn’t quite able to dodge out of his way. The first blow landed on his temple. Falling to the ground, he rolled as he landed and was back up on his feet in seconds. Marsdon’s hand clenched into a fist at his side as the fight began in earnest. He knew Bennett hadn’t needed to be told that he needed to take care with his pack—but he had needed to know that Marsdon believed he was strong enough to hurt them if he didn’t hold back. Marsdon took a deep breath. It had been the only thing he’d had to offer Bennett. And now Bennett was doing exactly as his master said, holding back, taking blows when he couldn’t deflect them without doing the other wolf injury. Bennett minded his own actions, waiting and hurting until a chance came to take his opponent down safely. Forever passed before, in a rush of limbs and a sweeping kick, Steffan fell. Bennett dropped on top of him, pinning him down as he twisted one arm up behind Steffan’s back and used that leverage to hold the larger man in place. “Accept,” Steffan gasped, when it became obvious that there was no way he could get out of the hold. Bennett instantly released him. Stepping back, he held out his hand and helped the newest member of his pack to his feet as if he had no reason in the world to bear the other man any ill will. Bennett turned to Marsdon. His lip was bloodied, his temple bruised but pride shone in his eyes. Marsdon nodded to Steffan echoing Bennett’s acceptance of him and the gamma crossed to Marsdon’s side of the circle. “Anything that won’t heal?” Marsdon asked, his gaze flickering quickly from Steffan to Bennett as he tried to watch over his mate and look after his pack at the same time. Steffan shook his head. “Anything urgent?” Steffan shook his head again, keeping his eyes down.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
67
Marsdon forced himself to look away from Bennett for two seconds in a row. He turned to his cousin and he saw the unease in the wolf who’d never had cause to doubt his acceptance before. “Sit and rest while the other idiots find out that they are idiots,” he ordered. As easily as that, he saw something settle inside Steffan. It was easy for a gamma wolf, even for one who had been marked out as the potential beta for their pack. Steffan had his alphas and his pack and his orders. That was all it really took to make everything well with his world. If only Marsdon could have said the same for his mate. Bennett was good and quick, but if anything he was far too cautious with the other wolves, far more worried about hurting them than himself. Limbs lashed out, paws replaced hands as bodies fought to shift into wolf form when they discovered that their human form couldn’t win against an alpha. Claws raked against Bennett’s skin. His blood fell into the fighting circle. Wolf’s teeth bit into Bennett’s body and Marsdon watched his mate keep himself human, keep his head full of human thoughts so that he would be better able to look after his pack and see that they were not hurt by their alpha’s actions. Knowing that the whole tradition was about letting the others see what sort of wolf the challenged alpha was, as well as what sort of fighter he could be, didn’t help Marsdon keep his temper. His nails bit into his palm as he forced himself not to launch himself into the circle and protect his mate. One by one he watched the members of their pack make their attempt at dominance over Bennett. He watched them judge his willingness to help them to their feet as well as his ability to pin them down. And, one by one, he saw them accept him as their alpha. It seemed to take aeons, but eventually there were only two wolves on the other side of the circle. Alfred stepped forward. Marsdon’s gaze flickered from him to Bennett and back again, hoping his mate remembered his advice.
He fights dirty. Bennett pushed his hair out of his eyes and stared across at the other wolf. His whole body ached. His heart raced, adrenaline flew through his veins, but even with everything else he had to think about, there was a part of his brain that kept repeating over and over again that he was going to hurt like hell when this finally stopped.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
68
He could feel Alfred’s eyes on him, watching his every movement. Bennett took a deep breath and tried not to show he was favouring his left leg as he circled the other wolf. He fights dirty, he repeated inside his head. Marsdon had told him that. Marsdon had done everything he could to help him. He couldn’t let his mate down now. Marsdon might not have challenged him in the circle, but Bennett couldn’t help but hope seeing him in there with the other wolves would make his mate finally accept his status as an alpha, as an equal. Alfred feinted to the left, then spun around, lashing out at Bennett’s already injured leg. Twisting to the side, Bennett felt his ankle give way. Alfred pounced on him the moment he landed face first in the dirt, pinning him down. Wolfs claws broke his skin, seemingly for no more useful purpose than the other wolf’s amusement. Bennett tested Alfred’s hold on him. The other wolf was smaller, weaker. More importantly, his technique was sloppy. All Bennett had to do was summon up the energy, and it would be easy to shake him off. “Marsdon was right,” Alfred hissed in his ear. “Nothing but a pathetic little pup.” Bennett launched himself up out of the dirt. Before his mind had really registered the word, something primal inside him had Alfred’s back pressed hard against the floor. He loomed over the prone wolf, a growl building in the back of his throat and rumbling through his whole body. Alfred scrabbled at him, paws reverting to entirely human hands in his panic, but Bennett held him down, barely giving him room to breathe, let alone fight. That was his master’s name for him—and Alfred’s lips were tarnishing it just by touching it. “You don’t say that word again,” he bit out. Alfred pulled at his hold on him. Their eyes met and Bennett saw the moment when the other man realised for the first time that the wolf who had him pinned down could very easily kill him if he wasn’t holding himself back. He dropped his gaze. “Yes, alpha.” “Don’t use a title you have no right to,” Bennett growled. “You are not my pack. I am not your alpha. You heard what Marsdon said. You are in limbo.” Alfred’s breath faltered in his chest.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
69
“If you are to be part of our pack, you will take your place in it and you will accept both your alphas—no doubts, no reservations. I won’t accept a wolf who might stab me in the back the moment I turn around.” Alfred glanced up at him, real fear in his eyes for the first time. “Are you to be part of our pack?” Bennett asked. “Please?” Alfred tilted his head back, showing his neck, offering him the deepest form of submission he understood. Bennett pulled back to crouch over him. Alfred stayed exactly where he was, waiting, maintaining his display of his submission until Bennett held out a hand and helped him to his feet. “Go to the others.” Alfred looked across and tried to meet Marsdon’s eyes as he walked across to him. Marsdon ignored him completely. Bennett saw the other wolves look from one alpha to the other, holding their breath, waiting to see if Marsdon would accept Alfred back into the pack. “See that he has no injuries that won’t heal,” Marsdon ordered the others. Bennett nodded, guessing that was as accepting as Marsdon was going to be right then. Alfred might not be a nice wolf, but he deserved to feel safe in his place in the pack. Every wolf deserved that. Bennett would talk to Marsdon about that later. Right now, he had other duties to attend to. He was so damn tired, but he turned back to the other side of the circle regardless. Only one wolf was left. Talbot. Fuzzy headed from so many blows, Bennett crouched down for a moment, resting one hand on the floor in front of him as he fought to get his breath back. For a full minute he didn’t look towards the far side of the circle, didn’t invite another opponent. Talbot. Marsdon had said something about him. Bennett lifted his gaze and looked across to the last wolf before his minute’s rest could become something the other wolves might see as a weakness. The small wolf stood waiting, watching him. He looked bloody terrified. Talbot. Marsdon hadn’t told him anything more than he already knew. Talbot was a true omega. Bennett managed a small smile. “Come here, Talbot.”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
70
The wolf approached very cautiously, as if ready to take to his heels and run at the first sign of attack. “It’s okay. You can come closer.” Finally the younger wolf stood in front of him. “You can make your challenge,” Bennett told him, softening his voice so the other wolf might see an alpha’s care rather than an opponent’s threat when he looked at him. “I won’t hurt you.” Talbot shook his head, he dropped to his knees in front of him, as Bennett remained crouched down on the ground. “I know you’re an alpha. We all do. It was just that…” “Just that?” Bennett asked, wondering how bad it really was. “Alfred said the packs lied to everyone so you and Marsdon could be together,” the smaller wolf blurted out. “What?” Talbot swallowed. “You didn’t meet on the mating day the way they all said you would. You met before. You were a love match. Everyone could see that.” Bennett stared at the younger wolf, with no idea what to say to him. “Alfred said that Marsdon fell in love with a wolf who wasn’t an alpha—that’s why he was so sad before the mating day. And then he found out that everyone had agreed to call you an alpha, that’s why he was happy when he realised what was going on. And Alfred said he overheard you talking and that Marsdon said… and it all made sense. You’re so in love and…” Bennett swallowed, no words came. “I know you’re an alpha,” Talbot repeated. Bennett nodded, but he couldn’t process all of that right now. He had to concentrate on the challenge. “All the tradition requires is that you lay a hand on me and accept me as your alpha.” He looked at his body. There wasn’t any part of him that wasn’t bloody, bruised or just plain dirty after hitting the ground so many times. He somehow managed another smile for the younger wolf. “Try to find a cleanish bit.” The omega carefully placed his fingertips on the back of his hand. “You accept me as your alpha?” Bennett asked.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
71
Talbot nodded. “Then it’s all settled. That wasn’t so scary was it?” Bennett teased. The omega shook his head, offering his alpha a small smile in return. “Go and join the others,” Bennett told him. It took almost all the energy he had left to drag himself to his feet and turn to face them all. Marsdon smiled, but Bennett could tell he was seething beneath the forced calm. Still, Marsdon held out a hand to him, welcoming him properly back to the pack. Bennett somehow managed to step forward without hobbling. One painful step at a time, he made his way across to the pack—to his pack. Bennett put his hand in Marsdon’s and turned to the rest of the pack. “Go back inside. Clean yourselves up and get to bed. There’s been more than enough excitement for one day.” He looked to the omega. “Talbot—you’re responsible for coming to us and reporting on any serious injuries that are discovered when the dirt is washed away.” The younger wolf nodded and went with the other wolves as they all turned and made their way back into the house. Marsdon was staring at him. Bennett ignored that, watching his pack walk away. Steffan, purely because he had required more strength to take down, appeared to be the most bruised out of them. Even so, Bennett noticed that he was the one who helped Francis to his feet and made sure the smaller wolf had no injuries that would be made worse by a walk back to the house. They would have to talk about making his place as the beta official. It would be one more thing settled in everyone’s minds. It would be one more thing to show them that they were the part of a good, strong pack. Once that was done, they could set about looking for a breeding pair to join their packs. Or perhaps it would be best to find mates for some of the other wolves first. Perhaps if Alfred had a mate that would distract him from making trouble. He would have to speak to Marsdon about that when his mate was less furious with him. “I was right to accept the challenge,” Bennett said when the other wolves were all out of sight and he couldn’t put off facing his mate any longer.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
72
Marsdon’s grip on his hand tightened when Bennett tried to retrieve it. “Can you walk into the house?” “Of course.” Bennett turned to the slope that lead back to the front door of their new home, but Marsdon made him turn back to face him. “The truth,” his mate demanded. “It’s just a few aches and bruises, nothing serious.” It didn’t improve Marsdon’s expression. He slipped his arm around Bennett’s waist. “I can walk on my own.” “Damn it, Bennett!” Marsdon snapped. “Who the hell are you trying to prove yourself to? They’re all inside. Everyone knows you are a bloody alpha—a literally bloody one right now. You don’t have to hop to prove a point.” Bennett nodded, forcing aside his doubts. He let Marsdon slowly help him into the house and up the stairs, trying not to lean on him too much, trying not to let his weaknesses take over completely. Marsdon helped him straight into the bathroom and closed the door behind them. “I can look after myself.” “Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to let you do that?” Marsdon said very slowly, very quietly. Bennett swallowed as he heard the anger underneath the control. “I’m not asking you to submit to me. I’m not asking you to let me screw you. I just want to look after my mate and tend his wounds. Is that really asking too much right now?” Bennett stared at the floor between them. He gave one nod. Apparently that was all his mate needed. Marsdon sat him on the edge of the bath and gently removed his clothing piece by piece, tossing the ripped and bloodied fabric aside as he bared Bennett’s body for his inspection. It wasn’t submission, Bennett reminded himself. He was naked while his master was dressed because Marsdon needed to inspect his wounds—that was all. He was sitting still and letting Marsdon give the orders because he was too damn sore and too tired to argue about it—that wasn’t the same as being back in the club. Marsdon filled a bowl with warm water and began to clean the dirt and the blood from Bennett’s body. The cloth was soft against his skin, his touch impossibly gentle.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
73
Bennett shifted uncomfortably under his master’s scrutiny. “Stop fidgeting.” Bennett immediately fell still. A moment later he felt heat rush to his cheeks at the puppy-like obedience. His master was so focused on the gash a set of claws had left across his chest, didn’t seem to notice. The cloth brushed across his nipple. Even through the fabric, his master’s touch called to something inside Bennett. His whole body tensed. He bit back a gasp as his ribs protested. Marsdon crouched down in front of him, a deep frown marring his forehead. Marsdon pressed his fingertips against Bennett’s ribs testing them. “Just bruised,” Bennett managed to whisper. He bit his tongue so hard to stop himself calling the other man sir, he tasted fresh blood. “Just,” Marsdon echoed, evidently not the least impressed. Bennett tried to ignore his master’s touch as Marsdon diligently worked his way down his body, until he found a long cut running across his leg, and disappearing along the inside of his left thigh. Marsdon nudged his legs apart to inspect the full length of the cut. As he began to clean it, Bennett closed his eyes. Within half a minute he was fully hard and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to hide his reaction to his master. Marsdon’s knuckles brushed against Bennett’s shaft as he reached for the bowl of warm water. Bennett flung his eyes open, staring down at his master. Marsdon stared back at him, as if waiting for him to say something. “I…” Marsdon smiled, one of those twisted little smiles that Bennett was never sure how to interpret. “At least one part of you still likes me.” Bennett stayed silent, knowing he couldn’t say the truth, yet somehow unable to tell a lie right then. He loved his master with every part of him—and most especially with that part of him that longed for nothing more than Marsdon to wrap him in his arms and make the whole world morph into something quiet and simple, something that only required him to please one person rather than care for a whole pack.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
74
Marsdon finished washing him without further comment. Bennett’s erection flourished throughout the whole process. His whole body ached for his master’s touch, for his master’s permission to go back to being an obedient little pup for a while. Finally the tortuously slow process was finished, and Marsdon stepped back. “Do you need help with anything else?” Bennett shook his head. His whole body already tingled with the lingering aftermath of his master’s attention, he couldn’t cope with any more help from his mate right then. “Call me when you’re done in here. I’ll come and get you.” Bennett just nodded, pathetically grateful that he would be allowed a few moments alone to take a leak in private without having to ask Marsdon for that as if it was a privilege only a master could grant. When Marsdon closed the door behind him, Bennett pulled himself to his feet and moved around the bathroom in slow, shuffling steps. As he was about to leave the room, he caught sight of himself in the mirror on the wall above the sink. He looked as if he’d been run over, reversed over and then run over again. Turning away from the painful reality of his reflection, he made his way back into the bedroom. His whole body ached more with each step. His head whirled just from trying to walk across the room. Marsdon spun around the moment he nudged the door open. “I told you to call me!” He rushed across and slid an arm around Bennett’s waist to help him across to the bed. “Sorry.” Right then, Bennett didn’t know if he was apologising for not calling him, for being beaten black and blue or just for everything in the whole bloody world. Marsdon eased him down onto the mattress. Bennett dropped his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes until the room stopped spinning. “You’ll be more yourself tomorrow,” Marsdon said. That was right, Bennett thought. He wasn’t himself. He probably couldn’t be blamed for anything that he did that night. If he submitted to Marsdon right then, it wouldn’t mean anything. He blinked his eyes open and looked up at his mate. Marsdon stared back down into his eyes for a long time before he reached out and ever so gently stroked his hair back from his face. “Rest. It will be a few days before everything heals completely, but you should still feel a lot better in the morning. The worst will be over by then.”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
75
“I’m okay now,” Bennett said quickly. He was more than well enough to do whatever his master wanted. Marsdon’s lips twisted into a smile, but his eyes stayed serious. He leant forward. For a moment, Bennett thought he would let their lips meet, but he just pressed a kiss onto his forehead and retreated to the bathroom. A few minutes later he was back, stripping off his clothes to slide between the sheets next to him. “Do you need anything?” Marsdon asked. You. Bennett shook his head against the pillow. The other wolf switched off the light and made himself comfortable. Bennett closed his eyes very tight, ignoring the pain as the bruise around one eye reminded him exactly why he shouldn’t do that. “If you want to, you can,” he whispered in the dark. “What?” Bennett swallowed. Even with his excuses ready, he couldn’t bring himself to ask for what he needed. “We both know I’m no match for you like this. If you want to play those silly games from the club, this is your chance, isn’t it?” Marsdon shifted on the mattress. Bennett felt relief flood through him, but no hands reached for him, no order was issued. He looked over his shoulder in time to see Marsdon grab his pillow and toss it on the small sofa that stood against the far wall. “What are you…?” “I am pretending that you didn’t just say that,” Marsdon bit out. Bennett frowned as his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he saw Marsdon try to make himself comfortable on the undersized sofa. “I don’t understand.” Marsdon turned back to him. “If you can’t admit it’s what you want, that’s one thing, but if you ever speak of the nights we shared that way again, God help me, I’ll…” From the other side of the room, Bennett heard Marsdon take a deep breath. “Deny you were my submissive if you have to, but don’t you dare make it sound like you were a victim. You had a choice. You had a safe word. It was never about you being
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
76
unable to stop me.” Each word was said so carefully—as if that was the only way Marsdon couldn’t control his anger, his pain right then. “I’m sorry,” Bennett whispered. “Go to sleep.” Bennett dropped his head back down onto the pillow. Closing his eyes he strained his hearing to listen to his master’s breaths, hoping he could take comfort in knowing his master was in the same room with him if nothing else. He heard Marsdon shift to wolf form in an effort to fit more easily on the small sofa, but sleep still didn’t come quickly for either of them.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
77
Chapter Six
Marsdon stood under the eaves of the old barn and watched his mate pad back towards the house in his wolf form. He made no move to alert Bennett to his presence. It was stupid to hide in memories, especially when the peace he remembered feeling in that club seemed a million years ago. It was stupid to hide in the barn too. Just because that day when he’d pushed Bennett back against the wall was the closest they’d come to actually being happy in their own skins since the mating ceremony, that was no reason to damn near take up residence there. The barn was going to sparkle if he spent any more time sorting it out and tidying it up. Bennett strode confidently into the courtyard between the house and the barn, stopping to shake the rain off his coat as he went. Some of his former ease of movement was returning as he healed. That was something. It wasn’t the way Bennett had given himself and control of his every movement over to his master back in the club. But Marsdon was willing to feel pathetically grateful for the tiniest mercy right then. Maybe things would be easier between them now that Bennett was healing. His mate hadn’t been able to hide the stiffness and pain in his body over the last three days. And Marsdon hadn’t been able to hide how much it killed something inside him to see his mate hurting and know there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to help him. The way things were between them, he hadn’t even been able to hold him close and comfort him. There had been times over the last few days when he would have sold his soul for that privilege. In the middle of the courtyard, Bennett stopped again, inhaling deeply and taking the scent from the air. He turned towards the barn door. Marsdon was about to turn away, not wanting to see his mate be the one to turn away from him yet again, but the wolfen Bennett stepped forward. For the first time in what felt like years Bennett made a move towards his master. Marsdon looked around, but the rest of the wolves were out of sight. Bennett wasn’t putting on a show for the others. Marsdon swallowed, not wanting to hope too soon. He
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
78
stood where he was as the large, black wolf came closer. A few feet away from him, Bennett stopped. The switch back to his human form was seamless and perfect. Within seconds, a naked man crouched at Marsdon’s feet. He expected his mate to rush to stand up and disclaim even the slightest association with the man who had once loved kneeling naked at his feet. Instead, Bennett tilted his head back, looking up at him for several seconds before he rose slowly to his full height. For once it seemed like his mate was able to see things just for what they were without worrying Marsdon would see submission where it wasn’t intended. Rain water dripped from Bennett’s hair, winding in tiny rivulets down his face and neck. As much as he longed to track their progress, Marsdon held his gaze until Bennett looked away. “Enjoy your run?” Marsdon asked, not able to keep the snap from his words, even when he was trying to be polite to his mate. Bennett nodded. “The forests have been well managed. They’ll provide well for the pack.” Freed from keeping his gaze, Marsdon let his eyes wander over his mate’s naked body. There were only a few marks left here and there to testify to his recent challenge. “You’re healing,” he said, and silently cursed himself for not being able to achieve a friendlier tone. Even that sounded like an accusation. Bennett nodded again. Marsdon clenched his hand into a fist to stop himself reaching out and touching the little patches of discoloured skin that were all that remained of the bruises that had practically covered Bennett’s body a few days ago. He was going to have permanent scars in his palms in the shape of his finger nails if he wasn’t careful. His hand was forgetting how to form any shape but a frustrated fist. “I’m more than well enough to do anything that needs to be done,” Bennett said. Marsdon nodded his agreement—not that being beaten black, blue and many interesting shades of purple had stopped Bennett trying to prove to the whole world that he was able to outdo any other wolf in the pack no matter how many injuries lay beneath his skin.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
79
Bennett shifted his stance. If Marsdon hadn’t known better, he’d almost say his mate looked nervous. The desire to pull him close and just hold him as tight as he could until everything was right between them burned inside him, stronger than ever. “Just because some humans consider something to be submissive, that doesn’t mean we have to follow their traditions as well as our own,” Bennett blurted out. Marsdon frowned. “What?” Bennett’s lips twitched into an anxious little smile. “Kneeling can’t be considered submissive if you’ve got a good reason to be on your knees, can it?” he asked. He dropped his gaze, not in submission, but to rest on Marsdon’s crotch in blatant offering. Marsdon caught his eyes when he looked back up. He made a point of letting Bennett see that he was dropping his gaze in the same way. Stark bollock naked, there was little Bennett could do to disguise the fact he wasn’t entirely enthusiastic about the idea. “I’m not interesting in an apology blow-job,” Marsdon said. Bennett’s jaw clenched. He turned away. “You never used to need an excuse,” Marsdon said before he could leave the barn altogether. “You used to welcome me into your mouth because you loved doing that.” “I can still enjoy giving my mate pleasure.” Bennett offered. “But you couldn’t let yourself take any pleasure from it?” His mate took a deep breath and let it out very slowly, the same way he always did when Marsdon rattled the bars of the cage Bennett had built around the pup inside him. “I could take pleasure in doing whatever it takes to bring me and my mate back together,” Bennett said. “In doing your duty?” Marsdon snapped. “Yes.” “Because you think having sex with me will make up for everything else – make up for all the things you think I hate?” Bennett remained perfectly still, his expression remained blank. “Yes.” Marsdon covered his mouth, feeling thoroughly sick at the thought of even laying a hand on his mate when that was the only reason Bennett welcomed his touch. Taking Bennett to his bed because Bennett thought he had to let him screw him in order to keep his place in the pack safe would be as much torture for him as his mate.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
80
Worse even than the idea of doing that, was the idea Bennett thought he would agree to use him that way. “Marsdon?” “You chained yourself up in a club full of strangers and offered your body to any man who cared to take a piece of you,” Marsdon said. For once his words didn’t sound like an accusation. It just sounded like a statement of fact. “Yes,” Bennett said. “And yet today was still the first time I ever saw you act like a whore.” Bennett stared straight ahead. He swallowed, but he didn’t deny it, didn’t object to whatever his mate wanted to label him. Marsdon growled and swung away from him. If he would just push back. If he would shout and yell and throw a few insults at him in return it would be something. At least, it would show him that his mate thought he had the right to do that. Bennett merely turned away to go back to the house. “You’re just going to let me say that?” Marsdon demanded. Bennett turned back to him. “Why not? It’s true. I don’t want money from you. But…” “What do you want from me?” Marsdon said. Bennett stared at the floor for a long time, not with his eyes lowered in submission, but as if he simply didn’t have the energy to keep his gaze up. “I want things to be right between us,” Bennett said. “And if that means losing everything else I ever had then I’ll do that. If it means I give up my right to complain if you insult me, or to keep any scrap of my pride then…” He shook his head. Marsdon stepped forward. Bennett stayed where he was. Another step closer and Marsdon was allowed to look into his mate’s eyes as Bennett met his gaze and held it.
“I didn’t know,” Bennett whispered, unable to keep the sad little excuse back. “What?” “I didn’t know that I was so screwed up that I was completely incapable of mating with someone as their equal.” He felt pathetic saying it, but he couldn’t live with the idea that Marsdon thought he’d known from the start, that he’d entered into a relationship with another alpha knowing that he wasn’t able to be the kind of mate they deserved.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
81
Marsdon frowned. “You think I like knowing that? Do you really think I’m proud of not being able to please my mate the way an alpha should be able to?” Bennett demanded. “We both know that if I was capable of reacting to you when things were as they should be, I would have been able to mate with you last time we stood in this barn.” Marsdon’s frown deepened. Bennett couldn’t bring himself to feel surprised. Everything he did seemed to make things worse between them. He pushed his hand through his hair, unable to stay still and silent under the other man’s inspection. “You have no reason to feel ashamed of anything.” It sounded like the truth when Marsdon said it. Bennett wished he could believe it. But the facts were still the facts. Alphas had to act like alphas. Marsdon tucked a knuckle under his chin and guided him to look him straight in the eye. “I am not ashamed of you,” Marsdon said. That sounded like the truth too. Bennett couldn’t think of anything to say in response. His mate continued to study him for what felt like hours. “Are you ashamed of me for the way I acted in the club?” Marsdon asked in the end. “No!” Bennett met his eyes and repeated his answer more softly. “No. You didn’t do anything wrong.” “I did nothing to make us act more like equals,” Marsdon said. “The rules I set, the orders I gave, they were all about making sure you were the submissive. You weren’t alone in that club jacking yourself off, pup. There were two wolves in the room. We’re both responsible for whatever happened in there—maybe me even more than you.” Bennett folded his arms across his chest, only just stopping himself short of wrapping his arms around himself in an effort to keep it together. “An alpha receives the submission of other wolves,” he said, his voice hoarse with emotion. “You can’t be blamed for accepting what was offered to you. There was no way you could have known I was supposed to be… that I am…” He closed his eyes not even able to bring himself to label himself an alpha when nothing he did reflected that. “You proved you were an alpha, Bennett. The whole pack saw it. You can’t still doubt yourself after everything that happened in that circle.”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
82
He could lead the other wolves. He knew that. But he hadn’t proved a damn thing to the man he really needed to convince. The man he really needed to gain the respect and acceptance of. “I’ll get better,” Bennett promised. “I’ll learn how to be a good mate for you.” He’d said it so often, he was thoroughly fed up with hearing it himself. He could only imagine how much like a lie it must sound to his mate. Marsdon sighed and stepped closer to him. “I won’t ask you to submit to me. I know you can’t do that right now. But there is something else you can do that would please your mate a great deal.” He said it all so carefully, as if he thought Bennett might spook and run at any moment. Bennett quickly nodded his agreement to do whatever it was, not caring what Marsdon might ask of him. Anything that didn’t make him feel useless was a blessing to be cherished. He should have asked for details. Threading his fingers into his hair, Marsdon guided Bennett to bow his head and rest his forehead on his mate’s shoulder. Bennett tensed, instinctively pulling away from him. “Marsdon…?” “It’s not submission,” Marsdon whispered in his ear. “Just rest close against your mate for a moment. There’s no weakness in that. There’s no shame in it. Just let your mate hold you close for a moment.” Bennett forced his body to cooperate with his mate’s wishes. He rested his head on his master’s shoulder. With each breath Marsdon took, his body shifted slightly under Bennett’s forehead. The rhythm was there, tempting Bennett to think back to the club when everything was so simple. “Try to relax,” Marsdon coaxed. He rested his hand on the back of Bennett’s head, silently telling him that his head was exactly where it should be. He couldn’t follow his master’s order. If he relaxed he would forget everything he had to remember in order to be a good alpha. If anything the coaxing only made him more tense, less able to please his mate than ever. Marsdon’s fingers stroked his hair a few more times.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
83
The silence of the barn surrounded them. Bennett stayed frozen where he was, desperate to reach out and wrap his arms around his mate in turn, but unable to do that. The uncertainty of what he was allowed to do now that he wasn’t bound swirled around with his confusion over what would be seen as submissive compared to proper behaviour for an alpha with his mate. He wanted to hold Marsdon close and be held close in return, but he couldn’t risk that being the instinct of a pup rather than a leader. Marsdon hugged him a fraction tighter before he finally gave up on him and stepped back. Bennett stood where he was, waiting for his verdict. “We can work it all out,” Marsdon promised. Bennett nodded, sure that his mate didn’t believe that any more than he did right then. “Come back to the house,” Marsdon said. “The others will be waiting to eat.” Bennett walked back to the house at his mate’s side. The other wolves looked up when they came in. A hush fell over the room. Bennett nodded to the other wolves, but let Marsdon deal with them as he retreated to their room to finish drying his skin and pull on some clothes. By the time he came down to the kitchen once more, the others were all sitting around the table waiting for him. A glance at Marsdon told him that he had made it clear they should wait until both alphas were at the table. It was a sign of respect he hadn’t even thought to be offered as things stood. Bennett sat down next to his mate, but he had little appetite for any of the food that passed before him. He forced himself to eat anyway, not wanting the other members of the pack to notice and believe something was wrong. The meal seemed to go on forever. When it was finally over, Bennett wasn’t sure if he was glad or sorry that Marsdon made no attempt to speak to him. His mate went up the stairs. He was back a few minutes later, dressed ready to go out. He left without a word to any of them, a determined look on his face. Bennett watched him go, unable to ask him for an explanation in front of the other wolves. “Is the pack going to be disbanded?” Francis asked out of nowhere.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
84
“What?” Bennett stopped staring at the door like some abandoned pup and turned his attention to the wolf at his side. “The Challenge—it broke something in the pack, didn’t it?” the younger wolf asked. Bennett automatically straightened up, sensing another challenge in the offing. He hadn’t ruled out the possibility, although he had been sure that Alfred would be the source. He looked from Francis to Steffan and back again. They were both good wolves. They didn’t look to create trouble where it didn’t already exist. Perhaps it would best for the pack as a whole if there was another challenge—if his presence was hurting the pack then it would give Marsdon the chance to get rid of him. There were other alphas out there Marsdon could be mated to and— “You accepted us, but Marsdon can’t forgive us for challenging his mate, can he?” Francis went on. Bennett looked down for a moment, trying to work out what to say as relief made him light headed. No challenge. Just wolves who were scared that their alphas weren’t pleased with them. Bennett took a deep breath and forced himself to concentrate on the reality before him rather than the fears inside his head. “Marsdon accepts you all.” “He can’t stand to be around us. He spends all his time out in the barn or in your bedroom with you.” Bennett couldn’t argue with any of it. It was true. “He welcomed you onto his side of the challenge ring.” Francis met his eyes. He didn’t raise a sarcastic eyebrow, but that was probably due more to his respect for an alpha than anything else. In spite of everything, Bennett found his lips twisting into a little smile at the look the younger wolf gave him. “It’s unrealistic to expect that he’d be waving flags and trumpeting joy. Even if he wasn’t completely pleased with you—he accepted you. The matter is settled. If Marsdon had reservations, he would have voiced them then.” No one could ever claim that Marsdon was one to bottle up what he felt. If something was wrong he would be the one to step up and fix it. They all knew that.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
85
Except between them, of course. Neither of them had any idea how to fix the mess between them. Bennett pushed that aside. Marsdon wasn’t the only one he had a duty towards. He needed to make sure the other wolves were content too. “Everything will be fine.” Bennett reached out and rested his palm on the smaller wolf’s cheek, in reassurance. He glanced towards Steffan, standing, as he always seemed to be, at Francis’s side. Bennett put his other hand to his cheek, offering him the same reassurance. Steffan’s eyes opened wide in surprise. A slight colour rose to his cheeks, but a smile touched his eyes as if the gesture confused him, but he couldn’t hide the fact that he liked it too. Francis nodded his acceptance, both of his words and the reassurance he offered them both. Steffan followed the smaller wolf’s lead and nodded too. “Everything will be fine,” Bennett promised the other wolves again, putting every effort into making it sound like the truth. He had no idea how things would be fine, but they would. Even if it felt like he was crawling through broken glass, he would keep going until everything was fine. That was what an alpha did. He smiled and nodded and reassured the other wolves as best he could. But his eyes kept going to the clock on the wall. After an hour had passed, he could feel the act start to slip. “It’s been a long day,” he said. “You’re healing?” Talbot asked, concern filling his voice. Bennett smiled at the omega, stroking the younger wolf’s hair back from his eyes. “I’m fine. You’re not to worry yourself over that.” Talbot nodded obediently. He was finally starting to relax around him a little now. Bennett’s smile became a little less forced. He looked around the other wolves sitting around the fire side—at his pack. He nodded, half to himself and half to them. “Everything is fine,” he said one last time. “I’m going to turn in. Don’t stay up too late. There is work to be done tomorrow.” He left them sitting around the fire side and went up the stairs to the bedroom he shared with Marsdon, trying to look as if he wasn’t the least bit concerned that his mate wasn’t there to share the bed with him right then.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
86
Closing the bedroom door behind him, he turned to the bed. A piece of folded paper rested on his pillow. Bennett. Unfolding the paper he saw his master’s scrawl, filling the page with big confident letters. Collect the key from behind the bar at midnight. There was only one bar he had ever collected a key from. Bennett’s hand shook as he re-read the note. He swallowed as he reached automatically for the scar on the back of his neck. His master was in the club. The key to the room was behind the desk. Bennett looked across to the clock on the dresser. He might just be able to get there in time. A minute later he was down the stairs. The other wolves looked up as he strode through the living room. “Everything’s fine. I’m just going out for a little while. Steffan—you’re in charge until we get back. Don’t wait up.”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
87
Chapter Seven
Bennett held the folded piece of paper tight in his hand as he waited for the man behind the bar to give him the key. In a stupid way, the command in the note was almost a relief at this point. The human behind the bar didn’t seem to be in any sort of rush. He was looking at the wall behind the bar more than looking for the key. Bennett followed his gaze. Clock. Midnight. He’d not only made it there in time, he was a few minutes early. His master said he could have the key at midnight. His master. For tonight, it might be safe to call him that. One night. He would do whatever Marsdon wanted. It would be fitting punishment for the stupid accusation that wounded his mate so deeply, for all the things he had screwed up since he became the other man’s mate rather than his submissive. That was right. He would take his punishment, Marsdon would be pleased with him, and they would finally be able to close the door on all this. Bennett nodded to himself. Punishment… right… The clock clicked over to midnight. The human gave him the key. His feet traced the familiar path to the back room—to their room. His mind swirled with trying to guess if there would be more instructions on another note waiting for him inside the room. Marsdon had always been very specific about how he wanted him to present himself ready for each meeting. Unlocking the door into the back room, Bennett took half a step in, and then stalled on the threshold. He stood there, still and silent, just staring at the scene before him. Footsteps reached his ears. Bennett looked around and saw someone walking down the corridor towards him. Quickly stepping inside the room, he slammed the door shut before anyone else could see his master like that. He sucked in a deep breath, filling his lungs with the scent of leather and sex and his master.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
88
Bennett’s eyes ran over the other wolf. The leather around his wrists and ankles held him spread in exactly the same way he himself had been bound that last night they’d shared together. A blindfold hid his eyes but his mouth was free. Marsdon still didn’t say anything. “Sir?” Bennett whispered, before he could stop himself. He bit his lip to stop himself from saying anything else, but there was no hiding from the fact that in this room Marsdon would always be sir. Even if he couldn’t face that fact in the outside world, in this room, he was with his master and that would always be a pleasure rather than a punishment. Marsdon made no response. Bennett took a step forward. “What are you—?” “There’s nothing shameful about offering yourself to your mate.” Bennett pushed his hair back from his eyes as he cautiously made his way around his master to stand in front of him. Tension filled every line of the other wolf’s body. His hands were clenched into fists above the cuffs encircling his wrists. “I don’t understand,” Bennett whispered, his eyes flickering back and forth over his mate’s exposed body. Marsdon bit back a laugh. “That’s the point, isn’t it? You don’t understand that this has nothing to do with being a wolf or an alpha or anything else. So…” Bennett frowned. “So you’re…submitting to me?” Marsdon took a deep breath. “Yes.” Bennett couldn’t make his throat work. “We’ll take it in turns,” Marsdon said. “What?” Marsdon took another deep breath, seemingly more in frustration than anything else. “We’ll take it in turns.” “You don’t want this,” Bennett blurted out. “Yes, I do.” “Don’t lie to me,” Bennett snapped. “I’ve been in those chains. I know what loving every moment you spend in them feels like. You hate it.” “It’s not a problem.” “Yes, it is.” His master in chains was a problem. Marsdon expecting him to be his master’s master was a problem. “If this is some sort of joke…”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
89
“You think I’d—” Marsdon cut himself off and took another of those deep breaths. “If this is the only way you can have this, I’ll do it.” “What?” “If the only way you can believe there’s nothing wrong with submitting to your mate is to see me do it just as often as you do then…then I’ll do it.” The last few words were whispered. Bennett stepped forward and touched his master’s cheek just below the line of the blindfold. Marsdon tensed. He hated it. Bennett could see it in every line of his body. Marsdon hated being out of control. He hated being in bondage. He hated submitting. He hated it almost as much as he loved his mate. Bennett rested his forehead against Marsdon’s forehead, barely daring to breathe. “You deserve so much better,” he whispered. “It’s bad enough that I drop so easily to my knees. I shouldn’t drag you down with me.” He reached out to undo one of the cuffs and free his master. “Don’t you dare!” Bennett snatched his hand away from the buckle. “I was just going to—” “And I said don’t.” “I thought—” “Don’t think. Just do as you’re told.” Bennett dropped his gaze as a part of him that had been kept too tightly corralled for too long howled its relief at suddenly being given the freedom to just let everything go and exist in a world of his master’s making. Marsdon dropped his head back and sighed his frustration to the ceiling. “Do what you want,” he corrected. “You have the rest of the night. Do whatever you want with me.” Bennett tried to pull that part of him that gloried in submission back under his conscious control, to slip the tight lead back around its neck and tame it. But the harder he tried, the more his mind just spiralled out of control. Without thinking he reached out to his master, placing his palm over Marsdon’s heart. His mate’s pulse raced just as fast as his own, but there was still reassurance to be found in the steady rhythm.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
90
Leaning forward, Bennett rested his head on Marsdon’s shoulder, just as Marsdon had asked him to do a few days before when they were in the barn. It felt different here. Safe in the club away from the real world, it was almost as if it didn’t really count. His eyes traced a line up Marsdon’s arm to the cross on the inside of his forearm. His fingers followed quickly behind. “There’s a knife on the table if you want it.” Bennett shook his head, tracing the scar with his fingertips. He’d never been able to find an excuse to touch it before. They both reached for the back of his neck and sought for what that meant. By comparison, Marsdon’s scar had been ignored. Do you really think I’d cut you without knowing what I was doing? Bennett bit his lip. Marsdon hadn’t hesitated to try it first, to be sure it wouldn’t hurt his lover past what he deemed acceptable. He hadn’t hesitated to put himself in bondage when he thought that would ease his pain. It wasn’t as if Marsdon wanted the mark, as if he took any pleasure from being bound. A glance down Marsdon’s body was enough to make that quite clear. Marsdon hadn’t hesitated to accept everything about him, even when it couldn’t have been what he’d expected to find in his mate. Marsdon had never done anything but accept him. Right then, that made everything very simple. Bennett closed his eyes and lowered himself slowly to his knees in front of his master.
Marsdon stared into the blackness behind the blindfold as Bennett rested his forehead against his stomach in exactly the same way he had the last time they were in the room. “It’s okay, pup,” he whispered. Bennett’s gasp sucked a deep lungful of air across his stomach, but he made no objection to the name or the reassurance. Marsdon blindly felt his way forward in a conversation that wasn’t going at all as he expected. “That’s right,” he soothed. “Your master’s got you safe now.” He reached out to touch Bennett’s hair, to tangle the fingers in the long strands of hair and welcome his lover close, eager to praise him for letting himself do that. A chain rattled. A cuff tugged at his wrist. Bennett began to pull away. “Let me, sir.”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
91
“I didn’t give you permission to move.” For a second he sensed nothing. Then he felt the soft movement of the air brushing against his body as Bennett subsided back to his knees. His mate’s forehead came to rest once more against his stomach. “Yes, sir.” Marsdon bowed his head to stare down at his lover, as if he would suddenly develop the ability to see through that stupid blindfold. He could picture Bennett so clearly, kneeling there so uncertain about it all, so convinced that what he wanted was wrong. “Hush,” Marsdon whispered. “Just stay right where you are. Your master will tell you when he wants you to do anything else.” “Yes, sir.” Bennett’s lips were just a fraction of an inch from Marsdon’s skin. He felt the air brush across his stomach as he spoke, felt the flicker of lips against his abs as he formed each word. “Rest your hands on me. Both of them. On my flanks.” Bennett’s hands touched his skin, resting very gently on his sides. “Properly. I’m not made of glass.” His lover’s hands settled more comfortably. His fingers spread out, as if he wanted to touch as much of his master as possible. “That’s right,” Marsdon soothed. “You keep them there until I tell you to move them.” “Yes, sir.” The words brushed against his skin, but there was a kiss there too. When Bennett held his breath as if waiting for a reprimand for taking liberties, Marsdon knew it hadn’t been an accident. “Yes, pup,” he said. “I did notice. Did you think I wouldn’t?” “Sorry, sir,” Bennett whispered. There was no attempt to drop another kiss onto the same spot. “You don’t have permission to kiss your master.” “I—“ “If you want to please me, you may lick me, pup,” he cut in. Bennett’s tongue touched his stomach very gently. Marsdon itched to be able to reach down and rest his hand on the back of his head, to reassure him his master was pleased with
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
92
him. But he’d have to get Bennett off his knees if he wanted to be released, he’d have to break the moment if he wanted to see and he couldn’t take that risk. All he had was his voice. “That’s right,” he praised. His pup’s tongue flickered out more confidently, lapping at his stomach, searching for a deeper connection with every taste he took of his master’s body. His grip on Marsdon’s sides tightened. “You can move your mouth, pup, but your hands stay where they are.” The reply might have been ‘Yes, sir’. It was hard to tell when Bennett’s tongue never ceased tracing patterns over his skin. Blind, Marsdon could only imagine how beautiful his pup would be right then. The light of submission just beginning to flicker to life in his eyes. The peace of knowing he belonged to his master just starting to settle over him. There were still hesitations. Every so often he felt Bennett tense, felt his pup’s hold on him tighten as his mate fought against the instinct to pull away and deny that part of himself. “That’s right,” Marsdon said, more in praise for Bennett’s attempts to push past his fears surrounding his submission than anything else. Bennett’s tongue lapped lower down his stomach, tracing a direct line to his cock. Marsdon took a deep breath as he felt the blood race to his shaft in anticipation. His mate whimpered his pleasure when he noticed that. Marsdon chuckled. “As if there was any chance I wouldn’t,” he teased. And then he realised. Bennett had never actually seen the way his master reacted to him when he knelt before him. The hood had hidden everything from him, just as Marsdon’s blindfold hid Bennett from him right then. Bennett ran his tongue along the length of Marsdon’s cock, over and over again, from the head all the way to the root as the shaft filled with blood and stiffened under his tongue. He murmured his pleasure again, as he dropped his attention to the tight sacs below and laved them with his tongue as he nuzzled his way past Marsdon’s cock. His fingers clenched and unclenched at Marsdon’s sides, as his tongue began to work more feverishly at his crotch. Marsdon’s own hands wrapped themselves into fists as he fought against the need to touch, to control. “Kiss,” he managed to order.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
93
The instant the word hit the air, Bennett’s lips touched his skin. They began to work in harmony with Bennett’s agile tongue as he turned his attention back to his master’s cock to trace the line of the vein under his shaft as his cock curved enthusiastically up to his stomach. The sounds of Bennett’s pleasure with his task filled the room as he focused in on the head, lapping and kissing the sensitive glans until Marsdon couldn’t stay still under his ministrations. His hips rocked, his ankles pulled at the leather wrapped around them. How Bennett managed to find any pleasure in this infuriating position was beyond him. Marsdon tried to push down his irritation, to calm his desire to move, to come, to do anything other than fail to give his mate as much time as he could to settle into what he was doing. “Mouth now!” he finally demanded, when waiting any longer would have driven him completely insane. Bennett’s mouth engulfed him in warm, wet suction. His hands slid around to scrabble at his master’s backside, encouraging Marsdon to thrust into his mouth as much as the damn bondage would allow. Marsdon growled his frustration at the ceiling as he tossed his head back. Bennett whimpered around his cock, sucking hard as he worked frantically at the tip, begging the orgasm out of him as if that was the one thing that would make everything right with both their worlds. Heat exploded through his body without warning. It shot along his spine, ripping a howl from him as he came onto Bennett’s tongue, tugging at every point of bondage. Chains rattled. His howl echoed around the room. In the stillness that came after it, Marsdon couldn’t hear anything but himself panting for breath. His head swirled with the force of the orgasm, but he pulled a deep lungful of air into his body and held it. The soft sound of Bennett suckling around his softening shaft could just be made out in the silence. Marsdon let out his breath. “Stop,” he ordered, his voice rough after the howl. Bennett stopped suckling, but he kept his mouth where it was, giving his master a cosy little snug to finish softening in. “Enough,” Marsdon said. His voice had hardly improved. “Back as you were.”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
94
Bennett retreated, letting Marsdon’s cock slip from between his lips. A moment later, Marsdon felt his pup’s forehead rest against his stomach again, but it wasn’t enough. He couldn’t look after his mate if he couldn’t see him. He couldn’t know if he was doing the right thing unless he could look into his pup’s eyes and see how his orders affected him. “Take the blindfold off,” he ordered. “You may rise from your position to undo the buckle, but by the time I open my eyes, I want you back on your knees.” Hands touched the back of his head. The tightness of the leather against his face eased. Marsdon shook his head, tossing the bondage away as he forced his eyes to stay open against the harsh light that flooded into his vision. He looked down. Bennett was back on his knees, head bowed to rest against his master’s stomach. Marsdon took a slow steadying breath. “Look at me.” Bennett lifted his head and slowly met his gaze. He seemed so fragile right then, so vulnerable. “You have no idea how beautiful you look right now, do you, pup?” Marsdon asked. Bennett searched his expression, as if looking for a joke. Marsdon let him look, knowing there was nothing in his eyes that would tell Bennett he didn’t love him. “I know submission can be beautiful in some wolves, sir,” Bennett whispered. “In omegas and—” “And you think that’s what you are? You saw how an omega acted in the ring. And no alpha could have accepted the challenge better than you did.” Bennett frowned. Confusion filled his eyes. “Do you have any idea how proud I am of the way you saw off that idiotic challenge?” “Proud wouldn’t have been the word I would have used,” Bennett murmured. Marsdon felt his lips twist into a smile in spite of everything. “I could also have cheerfully throttled you for it,” he agreed. “What good is an alpha who can only play the part in a challenge ring?” Bennett asked softly against his stomach. Silence stretched out between them.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
95
“Look at me. Straight in the eye,” Marsdon ordered. Silence returned as he tried to work out what to say to Bennett, to make him understand what he saw in him, what was always there no matter if he was on his knees or winning a challenge or when he was just there—just existing. “Alphas give orders,” Marsdon said slowly. “They take control. They lead. They take responsibility for the pack. And they claim ownership of every wolf in their pack.” Bennett stared up at him, his jaw clenching as he fought to hold his master’s gaze while pain and shame warred in his eyes. “But an alpha isn’t just that, pup. Alphas put the pack first. They do whatever is needed to keep the pack happy. They give everything they have to the pack without expecting anything in return. And they belong to the pack just as much as any wolf in the pack belongs to them.” His pup continued to hold his gaze, his eyes filling with more confusion with every word his master said. “Just because you like showing your mate one side of being an alpha and I like to show you the other, do you really think that means one of us is a better alpha, a better wolf, than the other?” Bennett’s resolve gave out, he dropped his eyes. “That’s not the way it works, sir.” “What happens between mates is private. Do you really know what happens between the alphas in other packs?” Marsdon asked. “This doesn’t happen,” Bennett whispered. “Then they’re the weaker for it,” Marsdon said, a snap to his words. Bennett shook his head. “You know as well as anyone that leading a pack isn’t easy, pup.” Marsdon tried again. “Trying to truly control a group of living things—it’s impossible. It could drive anyone insane. But maybe if they have a little bit of the world that they can control—that gives itself up to that control, willingly and thoroughly—maybe that helps. Just like having one bit of your life that you can please and serve could help someone who desperately wants to keep the pack content and happy but who knows there’ll be times when that just isn’t possible.” Bennett took a deep breath against his stomach. “I…”
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
96
“Just try, pup?” Marsdon asked, trying to make it sound like a request rather than a plea but not entirely sure he succeeded. Bennett rubbed his forehead against Marsdon’s stomach as he thought. Watching his mate decide their future, Marsdon had to force each breath into his lungs, knowing Bennett was so close he couldn’t fail to notice any sign of stress in his mate. “Just here, sir?” he asked softly, hopefully. As much as Marsdon wanted to latch onto the request, in the hope that he could make things easier for his mate, he couldn’t do it. “No, pup. I won’t ever ask you to submit in front of the pack, but in our home, when we are alone together—I want this there, too.” Bennett rubbed against his stomach again. “Try,” he whispered. Relief poured through Marsdon, but he fought not to let it show. No big deal— nothing to celebrate—just a perfectly natural thing. Nothing to worry about—nothing for Bennett to concern himself with. “Come on then, pup. It’s time your master took you home, isn’t it?” Bennett nodded. “Right hand first. Take the cuff off,” Marsdon ordered. Bennett stood up, but he hesitated as he reached for the buckle. “Sometimes it…” “Go on,” Marsdon prompted. “It’s not always comfortable when you’re first allowed to move again, I mean when you—” “Pup?” “Yes, sir?” “No treading on egg shells around me. We’ve both had enough of that to last a life time. I understand.” Bennett nodded and undid the cuff. ‘It hurts like hell’ would have been a more accurate warning. As Marsdon lowered his arm, liquid fire burned down the muscle. He stared at his arm as the scorching pain slowly started to fade. When he glanced back to Bennett, his mate was watching him with obvious concern.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
97
Marsdon’s lips twitched into a smile as he lifted his hand to bury his fingers in Bennett’s hair. He pulled his mate forward to be kissed. Each movement set off new fireworks in his arm, but Bennett instantly parted his lips, welcoming his master home and that was all that mattered. He tugged Bennett forward until the other wolf’s body was pressed up tight against him and he could feel his pup’s erection straining against his jeans. Another shot of relief surged through his veins. “Mine,” he growled against his lips. “Yes, sir,” Bennett whispered back. “Left now,” Marsdon ordered. Bennett blinked at him. “Left cuff,” Marsdon expanded. “Undo it.” His right hand lingered in Bennett’s hair as Bennett tried to undo the buckle. His pup fumbled it as Marsdon caressed the scar on the back of his neck, but he finally he got it undone. “Ankles. Right first, then left,” Marsdon said. Bennett dropped to his knees and quickly un-cuffed his master. Marsdon watched his every move. His pup stayed kneeling at his feet as Marsdon shifted his stance and stepped away from the cuffs. New flames spread through each newly freed muscle, but he pushed through it—in spite of the way Bennett frowned and seemed to only just hold himself back from calling his master a fool for it. He left Bennett kneeling in the middle of the room when he put his clothes back on. Fully dressed, he walked back to his mate’s side and helped Bennett to his feet. “Ready to go home?” he asked. Swallowing rapidly, Bennett nodded. Marsdon slid his hand over the front of Bennett’s jeans, fondling his erection through the fabric. Bennett whimpered pushing his fly against his master’s hand as he sought for more. “If you’re very good, I’ll let you come when we get home,” Marsdon promised, quick to use whatever was available to convince his mate how much he would enjoy submitting to his master in their own bed, in their own home.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
98
Bennett glanced at him, uncertainty still shining in his eyes. “Something I can control. Something you don’t have to make decisions about,” Marsdon reminded him. Bennett nodded. “Yes, sir.”
**** As Marsdon closed the door behind him, Bennett stared at their bedroom as if he’d never seen it before. For the first time, he tried to look at it as somewhere he could be honest rather than a place where he had to live a lie. “Sleepy?” Marsdon asked, lining his body up behind his and running his tongue over the scar on the back of his neck. Bennett cautiously bowed his head, giving his mate better access. “No, sir.” “Sure?” Marsdon asked, as his hand snaked around his body to palm his cock through his jeans. “You’ve had a rough couple of days. Maybe we should just go straight to sleep?” “If that’s what you want, sir.” Bennett closed his eyes, not sure if he loved or hated Marsdon for being right. Knowing that there was one thing in his life that he didn’t need to make decisions about eased some of the stress that had been building inside him ever since it had been announced that he was to become the alpha of his own pack. Marsdon chuckled against his neck. “Do you really think your master would be that cruel?” “Yes, sir,” Bennett said. It would be far from the first time his master left him hanging at the end of the night. Marsdon laughed again and nipped at his scar. Staying behind him, he began to take Bennett’s clothes off. He did it all very slowly, stopping frequently to run his hands over his body and tease. Bennett stood there with no choice but to close his eyes and just remain passive, lacking permission to do anything else. Finally the last piece of clothing hit the floor. Bennett forced his eyes open, but his mate was out of his line of sight. The sound of other clothes being dispensed with floated to his ears.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
99
“Do you know something, pup?” Marsdon asked, as he walked around in front of him. “This is actually the first time we’ll both be completely naked for a mating.” Bennett blinked at the unexpected truth of it. Marsdon walked across to the bed and stretched out, as if putting on a show, letting Bennett really look at him for the first time without the hood or the panic of seeing his master in bondage to cloud his judgement. He let him look and see a master and not feel like a fraud for thinking of another man that way. When he dragged his gaze away from his master’s body and met his eyes, Marsdon was watching him with something like amusement. “Blue,” he said. “Sir?” “Those nights in the club, you let me see the rest of you, but I always wondered what colour your eyes were. Blue.” Bennett nodded, accepting the comparison between what limits each of them had endured those nights in the club. This is better than the club. His master seemed determined to make sure he realised that. Subtlety never had been one of his strongest attributes. “Come here.” When he would have stepped forward, Bennett saw his master shake his head, just once. A moment’s hesitation and he lowered himself to his knees to crawl across the room to him, just as he had once before—in the club, a lifetime ago. Pulling himself onto the mattress, Bennett butted his head gently against Marsdon’s stomach, looking for the reassurance he’d found there in the past. His master buried his hands in his hair and simply let him rest there as he petted him for a little while. As much as part of him wanted to stay there forever, another part soon felt foolish. His mate was already hard again. He began to work his way down to Marsdon’s cock. “No, pup. Not right now. I have other plans for you.” As Marsdon tugged gently at his hair, coaxing him up the bed, his other hand slid down to run his palm over Bennett’s backside. He pushed back against his master’s hand, an eager whimper escaping from his throat.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
100
One kiss and Marsdon nudged him to roll over and present his back to his master. A bit of fumbling in the bedside cabinet proved that Marsdon had been farsighted enough to store some lube there. Seconds after that, slicked fingers slid between his cheeks. His master seemed just as impatient as Bennett felt. There was no time for teasing. Bennett could tell that Marsdon just wanted him ready as quickly as possible. Bennett sent up silent prayers of thanks for that, just as desperate for the connection as his master was. It still seemed like forever before Marsdon’s fingers disappeared and his body lined up with his, his cock nudging between his cheeks, demanding access. Bennett pushed back encouragingly, until Marsdon’s hand settled on his hip and took control of that movement away from him as well. His mate pushed forward in one easy motion, sheathing himself in Bennett to the hilt. He held them both still for several impossibly long moments to let Bennett adjust to the wonderful, full stretch. But even when he began to thrust deep inside him, Marsdon wouldn’t give Bennett permission to move. Even when his mate’s hand reached around to jack his cock in time with each thrust, Bennett knew he somehow had to force himself to stay still and just submit to whatever his master offered. Somehow he knew that simplicity was exactly what they both needed right then. No teasing. Marsdon simply seemed determined to get them both off as quickly as possible. In mere minutes, Bennett toppled over the edge, spilling his cum into his master’s hand. As Bennett watched the room flicker into and out of existence with the force of his pleasure, he saw Marsdon catch it all in his palm, before he came too, howling his pleasure so loudly there was no doubt he must have awoken every wolf in the house with it. As they collapsed together in a sleepy heap, Marsdon made no apology for the noise. He calmly offered Bennett his hand to be cleaned instead, just the way he used to in the club. “What do you think, pup?” he asked after a few seconds had passed, his voice a fraction too casual to be natural. Bennett thought about it very carefully. He knew what his master was asking—and it went far deeper than wanting to know if it was good for him too. The answer was important. In some way, the whole world, their whole future seemed to rest on his ability to get it right.
THE MARK OF AN ALPHA
Kim Dare
101
It took him a long time to think of anything appropriate to say. While he thought, he continued to clean his master’s hand. And there was his answer. “It beats the hell out of butter, sir,” Bennett said, between lapping kisses. “Butter?” Bennett smiled against his master’s hand. “That’s what humans do, sir—they spread butter on a cat’s paws when they move it to a new home. Lapping up the butter is supposed to distract them while they are getting used to their new surroundings.” Marsdon smiled against his neck at the gentle reminder that his pup was quite capable of spotting any attempts to pacify his worries that way. And maybe even more than that, he seemed to smile at the fact Bennett felt able to tease his mate, and his master, in a way that made it clear he knew he was Marsdon’s equal as well as everything else. That smile was all Bennett needed in order to know he’d found the right answer. “I like my distraction technique better,” Marsdon said. “Although, I’ll give you fair warning, I’m going to keep doing this long after you’re settled into your place in the pack, your submission to me and everything else.” Bennett turned his attention away from his master’s hand for a second and pressed a kiss onto the scar on his forearm in acceptance—in willingness to try if nothing else. Marsdon pressed an identical kiss on the identical scar on the back of his neck in return. “That’s right, love. Good, pup. Good, alpha.”
About the Author 26 years old, from Wales, UK, Kim writes about kink, love and happy endings. If a story doesn't have those three things, it's not going to be written - at least not by this writer! Apart from that, Kim likes to write a little bit of everything. Male/Male, Male/Female, ménage, vampires, werewolves, ghost, time-travel - that sort of variety always keeps life interesting. A firm believer that there is no "One True Way" for people to kink, Kim also likes to let the characters in each book pick their own ways to dominate and submit to each other. As long as they stay safe, sane and consensual – Kim's happy to let them live their lifestyle 24/7, or just open the toy box on weekends - whatever's right for them. Email:
[email protected] Kim loves to hear from readers. You can find her contact information, website and author biography at http://www.total-e-bound.com.
Also by Kim Dare Collared: Turquoise and Leather Collared: Imperial Topaz G-A-Y: Gaydar G-A-Y: Gay Like You G-A-Y: Gay Until Graduation G-A-Y: Gay For Pay G-A-Y: Gay Divorcee Perfect Timing: You First Perfect Timing: Silent Night Perfect Timing: Time To Do Christmas Spirits: The Gift My Secret Valentine: Secret Service Night of the Senses: Whispers Caught in the Middle: Between Tooth and Paw Summer Seductions: In the Heat of the Moment Friction: Yes! Voracious Vamps: Blood Slave Gaymes: Elliot’s War
Total-E-Bound Publishing
www.total-e-bound.com Take a look at our exciting range of literagasmic™ erotic romance titles and discover pure quality at Total-E-Bound.
