The Gladiator's Master

The Gladiator’s Master By Fae Sutherland and Marguerite Labbe When Roman politician Caelius inherits a stable of gladiators, there is one who captures his attention above the others…one whose eyes gleam with hate, pride and desire. Forced into slavery by Roman greed, Gaidres can barely conceal his contempt toward his new Dominus. Gaidres has a plan: kill Caelius and end the lineage of the Roman family that enslaved him. For his plan to succeed, he must make a show of respect and obedience—even when called on to service his master’s desires. Gaidres is shocked to learn that in the confines of his quarters, Caelius doesn’t want to dominate his slave, but to be taken by him. The sex is explosive as they break society’s taboos and, to Gaidres’s dismay, they form a tenuous relationship. Even when Caelius learns of Gaidres’s plans for revenge, he knows he can’t live without his perfect lover. Is he willing to risk it all to tame his gladiator’s heart?

88,000 words

Dear Reader, What do you get when you cross summer with lots of beach time, and long hours of traveling? An executive editor who’s too busy to write the Dear Reader letter, but has time for reading. I find both the beach and the plane are excellent places to read, and thanks to plenty of time spent on both this summer (I went to Australia! And New Zealand!) I’m able to tell you with confidence: our fall lineup of books is outstanding. We kick off the fall season with seven romantic suspense titles, during our Romantic Suspense celebration the first week of September. We’re pleased to offer novella Fatal Destiny by Marie Force as a free download to get you started with the romantic suspense offerings. Also in September, fans of Eleri Stone’s sexy, hot paranormal romance debut novel, Mercy, can look forward to her follow-up story, Redemption, set in the same world of the Lost City Shifters. Looking to dive into a new erotic romance? We have a sizzling trilogy for you. In October, look for Christine D’Abo’s Long Shot trilogy featuring three siblings who share ownership of a coffee shop, and each of whom discover steamy passion within the walls of a local sex club. Christine’s trilogy kicks off with Double Shot.

In addition to a variety of frontlist titles in historical, paranormal, contemporary, steampunk and erotic romance, we’re also pleased to present two authors releasing backlist titles with us. In October, we’ll re-release four science fiction romance titles from the backlist of CJ Barry, and in November four Western romance titles from the backlist of Susan Edwards. Also in November, we’re thrilled to offer our first two chick lit titles from three debut authors, Liar’s Guide to True Love by Wendy Chen and Unscripted by Natalie Aaron and Marla Schwartz. I hope you’ll check out these fun, sometimes laugh-out-loud novels. Whether you’re on the beach, on a plane, or sitting in your favorite recliner at home, Carina Press can offer you a diverting read to take you away on your next great adventure this fall! We love to hear from readers, and you can email us your thoughts, comments and questions to [email protected]. You can also interact with Carina Press staff and authors on our blog, Twitter stream and Facebook fan Happy reading! ~Angela James Executive Editor, Carina Press www.carinapress.com

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Dedications Fae: For Stacia Kane. For being a mentor, a friend and a sounding board. In this crazy business, I count myself lucky to have you always in my corner. And for Inez Kelley, Louisa Edwards and Peach—for reading this book in its earliest form and seeing its potential. For helping us make it what it is with your insightful comments and critiques. We owe you! Marguerite: For Peachie, I miss you; Miss Apple Pie Keri Ford; Louisa Edwards and Inez Kelley, thank you for drawing the line in the sand and going to battle over this book. Your enthusiasm throughout this book meant quite a bit to me.

Contents Copyright Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter One It had been a month since his uncle had died without warning. Privately, Caelius was of the opinion that Craxus had choked on his own bile. With his death came a whole new host of decisions. Caelius hadn’t wanted a new villa, especially one that needed so much work, but it did have a ludus and he took that as a sign from the gods. Of course, the ludus was far from the glorious ones he had seen at other estates. What remained to be seen was how much work it would take to make it and the fighters ready for a grand show. He did not care for the games. Many powerful Romans did, however, and if he wanted to further his political career, what better way than to become a patron of their favorite pastime? “Felix.” Caelius turned to his personal scribe and lowered his voice. “Spare no expense on the renovations. I want no problems later that we could have anticipated now.” “I will see to it myself, Dominus. It doesn’t appear as if much has been done before our arrival,” Felix murmured for Caelius’s ears alone. “I examined the ludus as the men gathered in the courtyard.” “I wish to see for myself before I make any decisions.” He, his scribe and a retinue of guards strode from the villa down to the short tunnel that led to the training courtyard. A strong, high wall extended from the southern edge of the villa, securing both the courtyard and the

gladiator quarters. He’d viewed the courtyard from his balcony, had seen a few of the men on occasion, but his first few days here had been filled with tasks requiring his attention and this was his first opportunity to see the ludus up close. At least his wife had chosen to stay at their other villa in Caere until this one was made more comfortable. One less headache to manage. He passed the men, who huddled together as they sat on the training ground. Some glanced at him with suspicion, others stared with empty expressions. A few hung their heads. He pressed his lips together, torn between anger and regret. Caelius frowned as they entered the emptied gladiator quarters. The stench alone was overpowering. “Have these cells cleansed from top to bottom. One shouldn’t keep animals in places such as this, much less fighting men who bring coin and renown.” “Yes, Dominus.” Felix looked at the small cells. “They will need new bedding and blankets. The others are ratchewed.” “There are rats?” Caelius turned to his uncle’s overseer, Priscus. “Why wasn’t I told of this?” “A ludus will have rats, Dominus. It is simply the way it is,” the man said with an oily tone. “Ridiculous. Procure a few cats, good mousers, for down here and several more for the villa.” If rats were in one place, it should stand to reason that they would appear in his new home, as well. They moved on to the equipment room, which was in a

similar shameful state. What was the purpose of owning gladiators who stood not a chance of winning? “This place will need to be expanded. I want a bath installed for them as well. We can destroy the kitchen, but keep the dining area. Food and drink can be brought from the villa. That should help with the rats.” Though Caelius couldn’t see any sign of the food and water he had ordered weeks ago before leaving home. “I wish to see the men now.” Priscus wrung his hands as he led Caelius out to where the men had lined up to wait. They were an even more miserable-looking bunch up close, ill-fed with the pinched expressions and hollowed eyes of men who had lost muscle and weight. No doubt thanks to his uncle and his coin-pinching ways. Why feed slaves three times a day when he could feed them once and drink away what he saved? His uncle hadn’t held to the same philosophy that the rest of the family did. That they had a duty to their slaves as much as their slaves had a duty to them. Still, he had not expected abuse on such a sickening, infuriating scale. “They’re skin and bones! And filthy! What has happened to the coin I sent for food, fresh water and a medicus to see to their health?” One of the gladiators lifted his head, genuine surprise flashing in his blue eyes. His brows furrowed as if he was questioning Caelius’s sincerity. After what he had likely endured at Craxus’s hands, Caelius didn’t blame him. His eyes wandered over the group and then came back to the

gladiator, and their gazes caught. The man held his stare for a moment before lowering his eyes again. “Dominus, there were so many things to see to and it takes time to find a proper medicus who would be willing to relocate to quarters such as these,” Priscus said, his voice smooth. “They have been given extra food as you requested.” He didn’t trust voices like that and didn’t spare the overseer a glance. “I want an account of every one of those ‘things you saw to’.” Caelius gave him a cold glance before turning to his scribe. “Felix, I want you to oversee procuring the best medicus you can find. We’ll make sure he has proper quarters once this pit is cleaned out.” The overseer hadn’t lied about that. A medicus would be hard to find if offered such squalor. Any who would accept such had to be a charlatan. Caelius was even more dismayed by the condition of the men than he had been by their quarters. A near dozen of them and maybe four or five fit to spar. They were malnourished, their spirits battered. Except for one. He paused in front of the man who had caught his eye. The gladiator stared at the ground, but there was pride evident in every line of his body. He appeared reasonably fit, considering his living conditions. Caelius wanted another look at that face and those vivid eyes. A man so full of defiance wouldn’t lie for the likes of Priscus. “You. What is your name? And tell me what changes you’ve seen in the last few weeks. Have you been given extra food? Access to clean water? Anything at all?”

The man lifted his head, meeting his gaze. Good. How else could he tell what a man was thinking without seeing his eyes? “I am called Argon, Dominus.” He glanced at the overseer. “We have seen no changes.” Caelius could feel the hateful glare Priscus aimed at the gladiator. At least this man would not lie for the greedy sycophant. Caelius turned on his heel and pinned Priscus with his own glare. He could sense Argon’s eyes on him and knew the gladiator was watching him instead of staring at the ground as all the other slaves were. “Are any of you willing to disavow that evidence?” None spoke. “I thought not.” Priscus started to speak and Caelius waved him silent. “Regardless of your excuses, you have disobeyed my orders. If you needed extra coin beyond those things you mentioned you should’ve sent for it. Let it be understood, I am not Craxus. I do not begrudge reasonable requests and the orders I gave were for basic necessities that every man should have.” Caelius glanced over the men again. It would take time and money, quite a bit of both, before he would be willing to risk any of them in a game. Men fighting in the arena at the peak of their skills was one matter, this was something different. He made a mental note to have their duties changed to light work until they recovered or, in the case of the older ones, were pensioned off. He stared at Priscus until the other man looked away. “If I

am not satisfied with your accounting, then the difference comes out of your own coin. And I will have that accounting by this eve.” Once that was settled, Priscus would be dismissed. He’d have no one in his house who would perpetuate such abuse, especially when it went against his explicit orders. He turned back to the gladiators, counting more scars hidden under layers of dirt. His mouth hardened. Definitely pensioned, those men had paid the price with their bodies. Too bad Craxus had left none of the prize money. All of it must have gone to wine, food and whores. He eyed Argon’s body, not as wasted or as scarred as the rest, though it was clear he’d lost weight. He looked just as ragged, but still he had a perfect body. He gestured to one of the younger slaves he kept nearby for messages. “You, boy. Go to the kitchens and have food and water brought. Nothing heavy and small amounts at first. Then inform the staff to send more in several hours.” Then he met Argon’s eyes again and saw suspicion there. Though what could he expect, gratitude? Not from one such as this. He wasn’t born a slave, that much was clear, and Caelius suspected he was just as untamed now as when he had been brought to Rome. Stunning though, especially with those eyes and hard face. “Argon, you seem to be the most fit. I’d like you to be in charge of the others until we can make better arrangements. You will report to me about what is needed.” Argon nodded, lowering his eyes again. After a moment he lifted his head and met Caelius’s eyes. “Baths. Baths

are needed.” At least there was one here not too browbeaten to ask, though it wasn’t really a request—more a subtle barb about their condition. Caelius could not deny the urgency. Wounds festered in the filth. “I will make sure you have them by nightfall, all of you.” Argon glanced at his fellow gladiators, then back at him. His lip curled in distaste before he turned his face down to hide his expression. “Our gratitude, Dominus.” This man would find a way to survive regardless, if for no other reason than to sneer at the masters who fell before him. His taking must have been violent indeed. And while he couldn’t miss the flash of pure contempt on Argon’s face, he even found that attractive, which was odd. Normally his lovers were the complete opposite of Argon, pampered slaves skilled in giving and receiving pleasure. Lying down with Argon would be akin to bedding a lion and that only made the desire pool in his belly even more. He suddenly found such fire to be a delicious spice. However, he had little taste for taking a man against his will, nor was he interested in men who only enjoyed women. Time would see whether or not the gladiator would entertain an advance from him. Starving, ill-kept men had far more important matters on their minds than sexual games. He gestured to Priscus. “Off with you, you have some work I’m waiting for.” As the overseer left, still muttering excuses under his breath, the first slaves emerged from the tunnel carrying water and simple viands. “I’ll leave you men to relax and enjoy your meal. If you

think of something else, Argon, one of the guards will see to it that I’m informed.” He gave the man a slight smile, then turned away with Felix at his side. There was still much to see to, especially if the men were to get baths before nightfall. And there was the matter of the doctoré and medicus to attend to. There would be no training until the medicus declared them fit. As he walked away, he felt a heavy stare on his back and knew without looking that the eyes glaring holes in him were an icy, hard blue. The heir to that bastard, Craxus, had come to claim his property. “Argon, would you look at that? There’ll be no scratching tonight!” Demos, another of the gladiators, and one he called friend, grinned in Gaidres’s direction as water was carted in. He wondered if he’d ever get fully used to answering to a name not his own. Argon the gladiator seemed a separate person sometimes, so far removed from Gaidres and who he had been before. He shook off thoughts of the past and returned his mind to the new lanista, Caelius. His fists clenched behind his back. He hadn’t been sure how he would get his hands on the next in the Laraniia line but, like a gift from the gods, the only son of Craxus’s only—and long dead—brother had been delivered into his hands. His jaw tightened. He’d kill this one just like he had Craxus, that son of a jackal and a whore. And then the Romans could do with him what they

liked. Gaidres’s interest in this world ended the moment Caelius’s cursed blood spilled at his hands and the Laraniia family was no more. Gladly would Gaidres welcome being finally sent to the underworld for his crimes. His skin crawled with the need to be clean and he watched intently as the slaves set up several small tubs filled with water. Benches had been brought in and a stack of clean cloths rested on each, along with simple oils and a strigil for each man. Once the slaves began to file out, Gaidres motioned to the others. “Scrub ’til you bleed, boys.” They needed no further encouragement, several clustering around each tub. He could see hope springing up in their eyes, like children promised a treat if they behaved. He, however, did not find the small changes worthy of inspiring that kind of hope. He would not dance for his supper, by the gods. He caught one slave who lingered, intending to send the message to Caelius that clean bodies were useless without clean clothes to put on them. Their rough canvas subligars and tunics were little more than rags held together by threads. He’d just finished relaying the message to the slave when Caelius appeared at the door. Gaidres straightened. “Dominus. I was about to send the boy to ask your generosity in clean clothes for the men. As you can see…” He gestured to the ragged, stained cloths that had been cast aside as the men bathed. Belatedly, he remembered to lower his eyes. Any show

of submission, even one so small as that, stung his pride. But he’d learned to play the puppet show for them, though he knew he fooled no one. For the Romans, a show of respect was as good as the real thing. He had felt better about it when he realized most of them didn’t care if you actually respected them. Just that you appear to so they lost no face with their peers or their men. “Yes, I see. You ask much, Argon.” Food, water, a clean body and clothes not crawling with vermin was too much? “I do only the task you set me to, Dominus.” “True, which is more than I can say for most Craxus left behind. Do not misunderstand me, I am glad you ask for what you need. For too long no one has spoken out.” He beckoned the young slave by Gaidres’s side. “Seek out Felix and tell him that the men need clean tunics and subligars, two apiece. They are to be replaced when worn or shredded.” Once again he was surprised at not only how easily Caelius acceded to his request, but the way he took it a step further. It appeared he at least understood the value of the men. “You are most generous, Dominus.” Gaidres was not fool enough to take the man’s generosity as more than what it was, however. “Generous? No, merely practical,” Caelius replied. Just as he had thought. Merely a man looking to protect his property. Still, it was difficult to remain angry when Caelius frowned and turned to gesture for more water to be brought. The tubs were becoming filthy and Gaidres was

waiting for the others to go first. “Tell me, Argon, are there any sicknesses or untended wounds among you or your men?” “They are not my men. They do not belong to me.” He resented even the faint implication, on any level, that he was anything like those who kept men like rabid dogs to battle for their lives. Caelius blinked, glancing at him. “No, they belong to me. But I did leave you in charge…” Gaidres kept his eyes on the wall across the room rather than risk glaring with murderous intent at the new lanista. “We have not trained properly in many weeks, so no new wounds are present.” He could not count how many times he’d watched the medicus drain the poison from these men, and himself, because a small wound had been exposed to the filth. “And illness? Are the men healthy?” He couldn’t stop himself. “Do they look healthy?” The truth was none but a few would last more than seconds in the arena, no matter how much coin Caelius spent. They’d been too long neglected, too long in squalor. He did not think they would recover. He didn’t say so, though. He would not be responsible for those men being tossed to the mines to live their short days in darkness, struggling to draw another breath. Caelius looked over the men, one by one, and Gaidres was sure it was clear that, of them, perhaps a handful were salvageable as fighters. The rest had the look of once

hardy men who had been ravaged away to nothing. Slaves brought in clean water, replacing the filthy, and Caelius gestured to one of the new tubs as other men began to dry off with the cloths. “See to your own bath. The new tunics should be here soon.” It felt good to be rid of the filthy subligar. The strips of cloth and leather fell from around Gaidres’s hips and thighs. As he sat on one bench and bent forward to unwind the straps of his sandals he glanced up and saw Caelius watching intently. Gaidres straightened, meeting his eyes boldly. The rumors that their new owner favored men were true, then. Interest flared in the man’s dark eyes when Gaidres stood and Caelius let his gaze drop to Gaidres’s cock. He scowled and reached for a cloth, dipped it in the cool water and began scrubbing at the grime that coated what seemed like every inch of him. “How long have you been here, Argon? You are much healthier than the others.” Gaidres pressed his lips together and cut the man a sideways glance. “Three years, Dominus. I have always been of strong health, though.” He wasn’t going to elaborate unless pressed. Men did what they must to survive. With the help of his friend, Demos, Gaidres had often snuck out of the poorly guarded barracks to find extra food. He had also never stopped working hard every day to hone his body, his skills. He would not let the likes of this place kill him before he found his revenge. Somehow, though, he did not think his new master would appreciate

his efforts, if he knew the reason for them. Caelius did not seem interested in more questions, however. He watched as Gaidres scrubbed his entire body down, rinsed and started again, this time rubbing oil over his skin and scraping it away with the strigil, a smooth, slightly curved stick. Clothing had come and the others had dressed and drifted back to their temporary quarters until slaves cleansed the barracks. “You are Thracian, correct?” Gaidres stilled at that question, a flash of pure hate slicing through him. No doubt Caelius was salivating at the coin to be made off him. The crowd loved little more than seeing a Thracian die on the sands. Oddly, they loved it just as much when one excelled there. The Roman citizenry were a fickle lot. Caelius continued to watch, making no effort to hide his interest. Why should he? The man owned him and Gaidres was no fool. Caelius wanted him. And not just as his champion in the arena. “I am, Dominus.” Gaidres did not elaborate further and to his relief, Caelius did not ask any more questions about where he had come from. He had no desire to talk about his former life with this man. Perhaps it was a good thing the man only eyed him instead of indulging his curiosity in other areas. “You will be in the temporary barracks for the time being. Until I’m sure that no vermin lingers in the cells and the renovations are complete. It shouldn’t be more than a week or two before you can return to your own quarters.” He turned toward Caelius. “You mean we’re to sleep in

the villa itself? Not in the courtyard or cells?” He hadn’t expected that and his mind leaped to how he could use it to his advantage. He might find the chance to have his vengeance on the last member of this cursed family and then there would be one less Roman master in this world. “The men are too ill-used to be without shelter for even one night.” Caelius’s gaze dropped to Gaidres’s chest before meeting his eyes again. “There will be guards of course. I am a prudent man, Argon. I do not know which of your number might be a criminal or who might carry a grudge against their master.” He looked away, lest Caelius deduce he was one such gladiator. If the man suspected any danger, it would be some time before he relaxed enough so Gaidres could find opportunity to end his life. He could only hope. And if not, may the gods have mercy on the Roman who owned him next. “And of course, there might be those who would seek to steal their freedom,” Caelius continued. “Be assured I have fortified this villa far more than my uncle had. If you fear any of your men might attempt such an escape, best you warn them the effort would be both futile and deadly.” He scraped the strigil down one thigh, glancing up at Caelius. “None would dare, Dominus.” What good was freedom? Gaidres had no use of it. There was nothing for him outside these walls, any more than there was within them. There was only revenge. “I pray you are right.” Caelius straightened as Gaidres rinsed himself off with the last bucket of clean water. “Shall I

call for more water?” Gaidres shook his head and reached for one of the cloths to dry himself before Caelius could send another slave off to do his bidding. It was so easy for some men to order others about without thought, to have the power of life and death over them. Those same men would not last a day being slaves themselves. “Gratitude, Dominus, but I am finished.” It was good to be clean again, to feel like a man instead of an animal. From Caelius’s lingering stare, he gathered that the man approved of the difference, as well. Gaidres was resigned as he began to put on the new clothes that had been provided. Caelius would order him to his bed and there was little Gaidres could do to dissuade him. And though he might have noticed that Caelius was a good-looking man with features that spoke of generations of fine breeding, he had no desire to play the whore for him. “Before I go…what is your name?” Gaidres’s eyes narrowed; the question must be a trap. “I am called Argon, Dominus, as you know.” Dark eyes radiated amusement. “I ask for your true name, given by your mother.” Caelius’s brows lifted. “I…” He paused, then shook his head to clear it. He could see no harm in the sharing. “Gaidres.” “Gaidres.” Caelius smiled as if he liked the taste of it on his tongue. “Well then, Gaidres, I shall take my leave of you. You need your rest and the chance to put a little more food in your stomach before you sleep.”

Gaidres met the knowing look in Caelius’s eyes with surprise. The other man knew what Gaidres had expected to happen. There was no explanation forthcoming as Caelius turned to leave. Gaidres frowned as he finished winding his fresh subligar around his hips. What game was the Roman playing? Then he shook his head. It did not matter. Whatever games Caelius thought to engage in, Gaidres would not be drawn in. His goal was clear, had been from the day he’d been captured—it was Craxus who had been responsible for his taking and the loss of everything he loved. Gaidres would not rest until there were no more of his bloodline to do the same to any other. This Roman would die. Perhaps then Gaidres would know peace.

Chapter Two Caelius emerged from the tunnel into the courtyard and shook his head. He would have to insist Gaidres get some rest. The other gladiators were taking full advantage of the comforts of the temporary barracks, the frequent meals and daily baths. Gaidres took his fill of the food and wine, but every day without fail he spent hours in the courtyard, prowling, testing his strength. He seemed a man driven to move, a man possessed with a restless spirit and unable to take his ease as the others did. “Enough. The full sun will be upon you soon.” Gaidres whirled around, his muscles tense. He lifted a brow. “You do not allow yourself the time to recover as your fellow gladiators do.” Gaidres straightened, his face expressionless as he lowered his eyes. “Apologies, Dominus. I did not realize anyone was watching.” Caelius waved the apology aside as he approached. This wasn’t the first time he’d watched the gladiator unawares, nor would it likely be the last. He liked seeing how the other man moved. Even weak, no longer at his best thanks to Craxus, Gaidres still had all the sensual grace of a predator. “No, I notice you are very focused. Why do you not rest like the others?” Caelius had noticed several others sometimes trained with Gaidres, but more often than not

the Thracian could be found sparring with the palus, a wooden block roughly the size and shape of a man, or practicing maneuvers alone. He was tireless and Caelius had growing concern that he might be pushing himself too hard. Gaidres turned back to the palus, his wooden sword striking it with enough force that splinters flew and the sound echoed in the courtyard. “I have not been here as long as they, Dominus. I recover more quickly.” Caelius frowned at the way the other man turned away from him, seeming to dismiss him as he went back to his training. He came around to stand on the other side of the palus, directly in Gaidres’s line of sight. “Regardless, I do not wish you to overexert yourself. It is nearing midday. Go and rest, share your meal with the others.” Gaidres dared not make eye contact. “With respect, Dominus, I would choose to continue my training.” “It was not a suggestion. Go. You may train further when the sun begins to wane.” His uncle’s villa in Fidena was a very different world from his home in Caere. There his people did not mistake his kindnesses for weakness and seek to take advantage. He suspected Gaidres misunderstood his concern, and thought him a soft noble, easily manipulated. Gaidres’s eyes hardened and he forgot himself long enough to glare at Caelius. Good. It was better to have such anger out in the open to be dealt with than buried where it could smolder. “Apologies, Dominus,” he ground

out. Then he jerked his eyes down and stalked over to the water trough to cleanse the sweat from his face, his entire body tense. By the gods, the man’s anger made Caelius’s heart race. The danger of him sizzled and Caelius could not resist it. “I am not my uncle. I’ll not have you whipped for an insolent look or because it entertains me to see others in pain. But as I told the overseer when we were all in the courtyard several days ago, I do expect to be obeyed.” “I understand, Dominus.” Gaidres straightened and wiped the water from his face. “Your word is law here. It will not happen again.” “Somehow I doubt that. You do not seem a man who hides his opinions well.” Caelius drew closer, his cock stirring. As much as he wanted to offer a proposition to him, Caelius didn’t know if the man’s interest lay in men or women and hadn’t seen anything yet to tell him. Sex without mutual interest was uninspiring and so he would wait. Bide his time and watch to see if he could learn what, if anything, might set Gaidres ablaze in return. What a thrill that would be, to see a man such as this burn. For him. “What matters the opinion of a slave? A gladiator?” Gaidres made a scoffing sound, though whether it was toward himself or Caelius was unclear. “I have none of interest, I assure you.” He did not believe that for a moment. Much lay hidden behind those angry, flashing blue eyes. He would wager his

family fortune that Gaidres had within him the intelligence to take on entire empires if he chose. It made him a bit nervous, bringing to mind another Thracian of many years past who had done just that. The name Spartacus still caused many a noble to tremble in fear. Caelius was not one to ignore the past. He ought to be more careful with Gaidres. He was not to be underestimated, Caelius was sure. And then Gaidres did something Caelius had not expected. His gaze, still filled with the ever-present anger, lowered, raking over Caelius from head to toe. When their eyes met again, the look in Gaidres’s eyes made Caelius’s belly clench. Was that desire? The gladiator was difficult to read, all other emotions seeming drowned out by the strongest one—barely concealed hatred. “It matters to me.” Caelius ignored Gaidres’s disbelieving look and turned to gesture for a guard. “Now, go rest. You may return this evening.” He looked as if he might protest, then seemed to think better of it and stalked off with the guard. Caelius watched him go, his mind already reliving that lusty look. He had no doubt he would be thinking of Gaidres as he pleasured himself that night. Gaidres stretched his right arm across his chest in an attempt to loosen the painful knot of muscles in that shoulder as he followed the guard through the villa toward the temporary barracks. His sword arm was not as quick to

recover from the past weeks of lethargy as he would like, protesting the vigorous use after so long. Still, he would begin again first thing in the morning. Anything was better than more weeks of lying about, unable to train for lack of basic necessities. Pain let a man know he was alive, if only in body. “Guard! Hold there!” a voice called and he stiffened. Already he would know that voice if it rang out in a crowd. He intended to keep his eyes on the floor as he was supposed to. Truly he did. But when he heard the splash of water, Gaidres couldn’t have stopped himself from looking if his very life depended on it. That it just might was beyond the point. He was met with Caelius’s amused, dark eyes as the other man reclined in a large, shallow bathing pool. His own eyes narrowed, but the Roman didn’t seem at all bothered by the abrupt glare. Instead, he smiled. The man smiled absurdly often. That it made his eyes brighter and his face even more handsome only irritated Gaidres and he reminded himself that the most deadly of dangers lurked within the most beautiful of packages. He could not forget who, and what, Caelius was despite his ostensibly pleasant nature. “You favor your arm.” Caelius moved across the pool to the edge closest to the hall. He crossed his arms on its edge as he peered up at Gaidres. “Do you have need of the medicus?” “No, Dominus, my body is adjusting to working again. It will pass.”

“Perhaps you need to soak in hot water. It loosens all manner of tensions.” His gaze had been wandering over Caelius, the long line of his back, golden skin beaded with water. The air was heavy with steam, the scent of expensive oils and Caelius himself. Now his eyes jerked back to see the wicked delight on the other man’s face. Was he suggesting that Gaidres join him in his bath? His heartbeat picked up before he squashed the desire. Absurd. A Roman noble did not bathe in the same water as a slave. He was letting his mind conjure up things that weren’t there. Besides, as beautiful as Caelius was, Gaidres would just as soon drown him as touch him. “I’m sure it will tonight when the gladiators have access to the baths.” Caelius laughed and turned away to step out of the bath. Rivulets of water ran down a body that Gaidres had not imagined hid beneath those robes. His legs were long, his muscles toned, his body lacking the overindulged softness of so many nobles. “See the medicus. If you will not have care for overexerting yourself, I will see to it that others do.” Gaidres stiffened at the switch in Caelius’s tone from seductive to one of sure authority. Other masters hid their insecurities by shouting or inflicting pain. Not Caelius. He wielded his authority calmly and with the absolute confidence he would be obeyed. “It is not necessary, Dominus. The medicus has far more important matters to attend to with the others. There is no

need to take his attention away from them to deal with a mere ache.” Caelius held his arms out to his sides as a slave came forward to dry him with a soft cloth. “Then perhaps I should send someone to massage that ache away?” Another quick, wicked smile crossed his lips. “And when his hands are on you, think of me.” Gaidres’s cock stirred within his subligar. He was a man, after all, and the blatant eroticism in Caelius’s tone was impossible to miss. Impossible to ignore. He struggled to keep his gaze from wandering below Caelius’s neck, and was grateful when one of the young slaves held up a fresh robe. Once the distraction of all that velvety golden skin was gone, Gaidres shook himself from the haze that clouded his mind. “I need only to rest, Dominus. It will be fine by morning.” Caelius sighed. “Do you ever do as you are told?” He stiffened, straightening even more. “Apologies, Dominus, I was not aware it was an order. Of course I will obey, then.” He didn’t bother to hide the acid tone. Let the man know he was no weak-willed slave ready to grovel at the wave of Caelius’s soft, pampered hand. Caelius tossed the extra length of his robe over his arm and approached, dark eyes curious. “Need I make everything an order for my gladiator to obey? Do you not wish to please your master?” The way he said “please,” with a long look at Gaidres’s body, spoke volumes as to his true meaning. He sneered and took a step closer, lowering his voice

for Caelius’s ears alone. “What you consider pleasure and what I do, are two very different things, Dominus. I do not believe you would care for mine.” A visible shiver rippled through Caelius. Gaidres’s cock stirred again, more insistent this time. Getting close had been a mistake. The scent of Caelius’s freshly washed skin and the other man’s aroused reaction had the impact of dozen deadly blows. “You might be surprised. In regards to your ache, consider the massage an order.” He touched his fingertips to Gaidres’s bare chest. Just a moment, then the Roman let his hand fall. “I’ll not have you hurting yourself in your zeal.” His only concern was with the profit Gaidres could bring him. All the soft words and desirous looks would not change that fact. “As you command, Dominus.” Caelius waved his hand to the guard then, and Gaidres glanced back over his shoulder one last time as he continued on to the barracks. Caelius watched, his expression a mixture of desire and intrigue. Gaidres held his stare for an instant before turning away again. It would not be long now. Caelius wanted him, that much was obvious. The only question that remained was when and what exactly Gaidres would do. He must think on it. Not that he thought he had any choice in the matter, but he did have options. He would bide his time and when the moment presented itself to rid himself of the last Roman master he intended to have, he would take it. And then his laughable excuse for a life would be over.

But not before he rid the world of one more slavemonger. One more person he held responsible for the destruction of his life and those he’d loved. It was all he had now and he would hold to his path. “Dominus, there has been an altercation in the barracks.” He glanced up at the sound of Felix’s voice. His scribe had a wry expression, likely because he had warned Caelius about having so many fighting men holed up together without an outlet for their energy. “Was anyone hurt?” Caelius rose, his thoughts going to Gaidres. “A bruise or two, nothing more. Though they refuse to say who started it.” Felix fell into step beside him. “The ludus has been cleansed, Dominus. The renovations are not yet complete, but you might want to consider returning them to familiar territory. Matters are uncertain enough for the men. They do not know what to make of you yet, nor do they know if they will recover. Being back in their usual surroundings might soothe otherwise volatile tempers.” He frowned, mulling it over. The ludus would not be restful with workingmen tromping in and out but if the gladiators had enough energy to fight, that was a clear indication they were starting to strengthen. “As always, my friend, you speak wisely. Gratitude for not gloating over it.” “Your admission is all the gratitude I need.” The deferential words did nothing to hide Felix’s amusement at his admission. When they arrived at the barracks the room

was quiet without the murmur of conversation or the racket of snoring. Yet somehow the room became even more still as Caelius appeared in the doorway. He scanned the room, gesturing the guards aside so he could enter. No one looked directly at him save for Gaidres, who smirked in the far corner where he reclined on a pallet. Caelius forced his eyes away from that delectable sight and focused on the two who seemed the most out of breath. Demos was the one he’d seen sparring with Gaidres in the courtyard often. They appeared to be friends and the large, amber-eyed gladiator normally had a gregarious quality to him. Currently, however, the gladiator appeared rather sheepish and quite interested in his own feet. Caelius smiled, though it disappeared when he laid eyes on the other likely culprit, a smaller man with a sour expression. He glanced at Felix, who leaned in toward him. “Hierocles, Dominus,” Felix whispered before stepping back again. “Who here will tell me what happened?” Silence. “Demos?” The gladiator flicked a glance at him before once again becoming fascinated by the sandals on his feet. “Hierocles?” From that one he got nothing more than a baleful glare before the man seemed to remember himself and lowered his eyes. Caelius sighed and looked past them to Gaidres, who had not moved from his position. Only he met Caelius’s eyes and the Thracian raised one brow as if to ask, “And now what do you plan to do, oh powerful Roman swine?”

He could almost hear the words in that liquid silk voice and just the imagining made him shudder with longing. “Gaidres, I would speak with you. Outside.” He turned and strode for the door, hoping his visceral reaction to the man was not obvious to one and all. Unfortunately, it most likely was. It didn’t take long for Gaidres to catch up with him in the courtyard and the man’s eyes were cold, as they often were. “If you requested my presence to tell tales on my companions, you are wasting your breath…Dominus. I will not name those who fought.” Caelius hadn’t expected the outright hostility in Gaidres’s voice. He had to remind himself what kind of a master Gaidres had had before him. Craxus had not been a man to inspire trust or any other good feeling. Caelius was still adjusting to being treated as the enemy here, when things were so different at his home in Caere. “I will not ask you to do that. I am rather certain it was between Demos and Hierocles.” He could verify that with the medicus at a later time. They would bear fresh bruises and scrapes on knuckles. “I wish to know what started it.” Gaidres set his jaw and Caelius couldn’t help but admire the man’s determination to protect those he lived with, even if there was no need. “Gaidres, I am not my uncle. I like to think of myself as a just man.” The sneer that crossed Gaidres’s lips said without words what he thought of that statement. “If I had a taste for cruelty I would have those two whipped without finding out the reason for the fight. Or the

entire barrack put on rations for not speaking up. But I have no fondness for causing pain. I am much more interested in pleasure.” He touched Gaidres’s rigid jaw. “Still so angry. Is that the only emotion that drives you, gladiator?” Gaidres met his gaze and Caelius had to force himself not to sigh. Those blue eyes never failed to make his knees weaken. Whether they were filled with anger, hate or—as they’d been once when Caelius had spied him with Demos in the courtyard—lit with laughter. That laughter made him want to leap the balcony and tackle the man to the ground to devour him. If his gladiator was breath-stealing in fury, he was even more so in happiness. “They fight because it is what we are bred to do, Dominus. To be angry that they do so is to be angry with a fish for swimming. It is what it does. There is little reason behind it.” It took him several heartbeats to realize Gaidres was answering his initial question. His own mind had danced past that to fixate on the consuming desire to have this lion of a man in his bed. “True. I suppose I did not consider that. Regardless, I have no intention of punishing anyone. You will all be returned to the ludus quarters in the morning. Renovations are not yet complete, but it should not cause too much of a disturbance and will be finished soon.” Caelius had no choice. If he did not do something soon, if he could not touch this man soon, he might just go mad. He reached out a hand to Gaidres’s chest, and just like it had the other day, the heat in the man’s eyes flared. So he

was not the only one who felt the want that arced between them like a thunderbolt. “I would ask another thing of you, my gladiator. I believe you know what that is.” He would have to be blind not to. Gaidres’s jaw tightened. “I do. I am no fool.” He brushed his fingers over Gaidres’s chest. “No, you are not. My touch, Gaidres, is it repugnant to you?” Gaidres was silent for a moment, though his eyes said volumes, before he looked away and his jaw tightened even more. “Of course Dominus honors me with your favor.” He laughed, shaking his head. “Somehow I doubt you consider it an honor, despite the deferential words. I ask true, though. I would not have a man in my bed who is disgusted by my touch.” Something dangerous flared in Gaidres’s eyes and he peered around the near empty courtyard. Caelius’s pulse raced faster as Gaidres leaned closer, challenge in his eyes. “I do not bend over for any man,” he growled in a low voice, no doubt so the guards wouldn’t overhear them. “Ever.” Pure liquid need swept through Caelius in a rush that left him breathless. Most Romans would consider his tastes disgusting, but he had always preferred to be the one being fucked. He’d covered other men before and it was preferable to sex with a woman, yet it still did not satisfy the hunger inside him. He knew without a moment’s doubt that his gladiator could not only feed the hunger, he would sate it in such a way that Caelius would be unable to move when he was through. He shivered in anticipation.

“How fortunate for me, then, as I have no real desire to penetrate you.” He slid his hand into Gaidres’s tousled, golden-brown hair. Sex with Gaidres would be far different from the sex he’d had with any other lover. Gaidres’s brows furrowed. He glanced at the guards again, his lips twisting in a cynical smile that didn’t touch his eyes. “You wish my services here, Dominus?” As titillating as the thought of fucking outside was, he shook his head. “No. Soon though, my gladiator. I hunger for the taste of you.” He leaned in the last few inches. The sexual tension made him quake inside. “I’ll summon you tonight.” He gently nipped Gaidres’s lower lip before stepping back. The flavor left a tingling on his lips and the gladiator’s scent filled his senses. He gave the man a wicked glance before walking off. As much as he wanted to play now, there were still things that needed to be seen to before he could indulge himself. He looked back at Gaidres before entering the villa and found the man still staring at him, his expression intent. Caelius shivered. Perhaps one or two of those matters could wait until the morrow.

Chapter Three “Argon. You are summoned.” Gaidres glanced up at the guard and pushed to his feet. He didn’t say anything, nor did he meet the eyes of the others as they watched him go, no doubt knowing exactly why he’d been summoned at this late hour. He followed the guard as a slave led them both down the long hall. He would be alone with Caelius and perhaps have a chance to kill him this night if he was unguarded. Gaidres’s heart pounded, but he did not show it, head held high as they approached Caelius’s chambers. The guard went no farther than the curtains that drew across the doorway, leaving the silent slave to take Gaidres the rest of the way inside. Caelius waited at a small table beside the fire, head lifting as they entered. He’d bathed, and wore less formal robes of indigo trimmed in gold. Gaidres came to a halt, bowing his head in Caelius’s direction. “Dominus.” He put just enough deference in his voice not to offend and not a drop more. Caelius closed the distance between them and Gaidres held his stare, despite knowing he ought to look down. Caelius was a lean man who had probably never faced a battle himself, but his behavior thus far had proven that the lanista was no spineless noble. One slave monger was the same as the next. This one was just a bit neater, perhaps. Under the civilized surface was the same filth that

invaded them all. “Caelius.” The other man touched his fingers to Gaidres’s chest. “In my chambers I prefer my given name.” The man began a slow walk around Gaidres’s, fingers trailing along his side, his back, and back around to his stomach. “I do not understand.” He’d never had a nobleman offer his given name for his use. “I’m sure it’s a curious request, but I would hear my name on your lips.” His stomach tensed under Caelius’s touch. “You are wary. Do you fear me?” Gaidres stiffened even more and he growled a warning. “I fear no man.” He laughed. “An entirely unfeigned response. I believe you, Gaidres. You say you won’t be penetrated,” Caelius began and Gaidres’s eyes narrowed. If he thought to change his mind now, the man would have a dangerous fight on his hands and discover firsthand just how skilled a gladiator he’d inherited. “Do you penetrate or do you just enjoy the teasing games?” Gaidres frowned, thrown by the direction of the conversation. “I’ve no issue with taking a man.” Perhaps Caelius wanted a show. Wanted to see him fuck one of the slave boys, maybe. He could do that. Caelius smiled, eyes gleaming. “Good. I like fulfillment at the end of the teasing. Come.” He gestured, moving toward the small table where he’d been sitting. “Some wine?” Gaidres blinked. Fulfillment? Then…But that made no sense. No Roman nobleman would allow a slave to fuck him. The sun would sooner choose not to rise.

“I do not understand.” He followed Caelius, taking the cup he offered. He seemed to be saying that often. Caelius took a sip of his own wine and waited as Gaidres sampled his before replying. “I like to be fucked, Gaidres. Hard.” For once he found himself speechless. “You want me… me to fuck you?” “Yes.” A smile tugged on Caelius’s lips. “I see that I’ve shocked you. No doubt you think me odd.” Gaidres didn’t say anything for a minute, staring at the man as if he’d grown a second head. He might as well have. “But…I am a slave.” Slaves were not given position over a nobleman, not even in bed. Especially not in bed. The rebellion in him, the Thracian who strained at the shackles of his position still to this day, said Do it! Fuck him, own him, make him your willing puppet! But a slave, an animal like a gladiator, like Gaidres, penetrating his Dominus? It was blasphemy to the Romans and cause for death. “Dominus, I…I cannot.” Caelius’s brows furrowed and he sipped his wine thoughtfully. “You cannot or you will not?” He tensed. “They are one and the same, Dominus. Were anyone to know…to find out…” Gaidres would find himself fed to the lions for a bit of pre-primus entertainment. “Are you afraid?” Gaidres glared at the floor, fist clenching around his glass. “I am confused.” Caelius set down his wineglass. He cupped Gaidres’s

jaw, lifting his head. “I know it must seem that way, but I do not toy with you, Gaidres.” “Dominus—” “Call me Caelius. If you fear others will tell tales, I assure you that the people who guard this room are very loyal to me. They’ll not say a word.” That was possibly true. It would mean Caelius’s fall from power no doubt, perhaps even worse. And if Caelius fell, those he protected would be vulnerable, too. The man claimed not to be toying with him. Gaidres wanted to spit it back in his face. It was all these Romans did. Toy with him and others like him for their own sick amusement. Still, what could he do? He’d protested, but Caelius had made it clear what he wanted and his determination to have it. To continue to resist was to court death. “As you wish, Dominus.” Before he could try to come up with some other way to avoid it, he stepped forward, one arm sliding around to pull Caelius closer. Gaidres kept waiting for guards to rush in, pull him off and cut his cock from his body, but it didn’t happen. Instead, Caelius shuddered, slid his arms around Gaidres’s neck and kissed him. Underneath the bruised pride and the worry that he was going to end up dying not in the arena or for killing a Roman, but for fucking one, was the realization that Caelius tasted good. Like the fine wine he’d had, and a subtle spice underneath Gaidres didn’t recognize. He smelled

delicious, his skin soft. Well, it wouldn’t be a hardship to rise to the situation. Caelius had begun to think that Gaidres would rather be sent back than play, but then the gladiator began to kiss him in return. Caelius pressed against his hard body as Gaidres’s tongue sank into his mouth. Caelius speared his fingers through the man’s thick, shaggy hair. By the gods, Gaidres could kiss, and the scrape of his unshaven jaw against Caelius’s smooth one made him tremble. Their tongues tangled and when they parted, Caelius’s breath was unsteady. He met Gaidres’s eyes and shivered. They gleamed with…dominance. No man had looked at him in quite that way before. He slid his hands down Gaidres’s powerful arms. Caelius wanted to see him naked again and be naked before him. He wanted to get on his knees and take Gaidres’s cock into his mouth, taste him until the other man was wild to take him. Not breaking their gaze, feeling deliciously light-headed with desire, Caelius took a step back and slipped out of his robe, letting the fabric pool around his feet. Gaidres’s eyes raked over his nakedness, almost as powerful as a touch. Caelius’s mouth went dry. “I crave your hands on me,” he whispered. “I’ve thought of nothing else.” Gaidres stared at him, almost as if he were stunned for a moment. Then he growled and strode forward, his

expression fierce. He would be taking a lion to his bed indeed. Rough and wild. Caelius backed up a bit, stumbling and ending up with his back against the wall, panting as Gaidres crowded close against him, caging him. “Gaidres…” He attempted to soothe, though his voice was shaky. The idea of being fucked with all that intensity made him want to drop to his knees and offer himself up like the proverbial sacrifice. Gaidres was like no other man he’d been attracted to before. Gaidres didn’t pay his whisper any mind. One arm snaked around Caelius’s waist and hauled him close, mouth claiming his again with a snarl as Gaidres’s free hand slid down and gripped Caelius’s bare thigh. He lifted it against his hip as his tongue gave Caelius a taste of the fucking he’d asked for. He clung to Gaidres, trapped between his hard body and the wall, and that was all that kept him upright. Gaidres’s kiss woke a hunger inside him that he’d never known before. This was the craving that kept him searching for new lovers, a need that had never been answered. With trembling fingers he undid the laces of Gaidres’s tunic and the man stopped ravaging his mouth just long enough to allow him to pull it off before taking his lips again. Caelius moaned, melting into the demand as he explored Gaidres’s back and shoulders with his hands. The gladiator’s skin felt hot, like expensive silk left in the sun. This was a dangerous idea, but he wouldn’t stop now for all the coin in the Republic. Gaidres was trapped but not

broken, and all the more dangerous for it. Fingers dug into his thigh hard enough to mark and Caelius shivered. He made short work of the cloth wound around Gaidres’s hips, then gasped as he felt the man’s rigid cock against his own. He circled his hips against it and gave a needy little whimper. Gaidres growled and caught Caelius’s hands, jerking them above his head to pin them to the wall. Gaidres’s hips rocked against him as the kiss broke and their eyes locked. “Is this what you wanted?” Gaidres shoved one thigh between Caelius’s to grind against his cock. Caelius nodded, his lips stinging. “Yes.” Gaidres smirked, releasing his wrists and catching his thighs this time, lifting him off his feet and pinning him to the wall, both hands under his ass to hold him up. “Then you shall have it…Dominus.” Two fingers slid inward and rubbed his entrance. He had been about to request that Gaidres use his given name again, but the touch of fingers against his entrance drove everything else from his mind. “Gaidres.” He moaned as they pushed inside him, aching without the aid of the oil he’d set beside the bed. At this point he wasn’t sure they’d even make it to the bed. He’d never been taken against a wall before. No one had ever dared. But he sensed that Gaidres would dare much, much more if it suited him. Those fingers twisted inside him, as mocking as the expression on Gaidres’s face.

“And you wanted this?” Gaidres rasped, thrusting his fingers hard into him and Caelius jolted, crying out. “Yes, yes…please.” Caelius had never said “please” before and he’d never whimpered, but then this was the first time he’d had a man such as this. It was almost enough to make him find his release on the spot. Gaidres twisted his fingers again, bending his head to slide his open mouth against Caelius’s chest to his nipple, sucking it between his teeth as he fucked him with his fingers. Caelius cried out, squirming against the wall, his long legs clutched tight around Gaidres’s waist. “Oil…by the bed.” Caelius gestured, gasping as Gaidres’s teeth scraped his nipple. Gaidres lifted his head, turning to glance over his shoulder and his eyes gleamed as he saw the small crystal vial by the bed. He lowered Caelius back to his feet, then turned him to face the wall, one hand hard on his nape as the other rubbed between the cleft of his ass. “Stay,” he commanded in a harsh growl and Caelius heard him stride for the bed to snatch the vial up. Caelius didn’t move except for the trembles racing through his body, one after another. He could almost still feel Gaidres’s hand on his neck, demanding obedience. He’d never had the desire to obey until Gaidres came into his life with his fierce eyes and rough hands. To be truthful, Gaidres hadn’t asked and he was powerless to disobey even if he’d been inclined to. Then Gaidres was back, his hand once again settling on Caelius’s neck, his breath harsh. Caelius whimpered as a

foot hooked his ankle, shoving his legs wider apart. He pressed his forehead against the cool wall, hands coming up to brace himself. He heard the clink of the vial being opened and moaned. Gaidres was going to fuck him right here against the wall. His breath stuttered and Caelius arched his back, offering up his ass as much as he could on trembling legs. “Gaidres…Gods, yes.” His cock was so hard that it brushed against his stomach, but he didn’t dare let one hand down to touch himself. He might just fall over. Gaidres pressed against him, lips nudging his cheek until Caelius turned his, offering his mouth. Gaidres took it, tongue sinking inside as he surged two fingers deep into Caelius’s ass, slicking him with the oil and preparing him for his cock. He shouted into Gaidres’s mouth, his body bucking under the hard penetration. Then Gaidres’s hand slid from Caelius’s nape, down to grip his waist, holding him still, holding him prisoner, as Gaidres thrust his fingers hard, over and over. Each thrust sent Caelius into near-delirium, until finally he tore his mouth free and met Gaidres’s piercing eyes. “Fuck me…please, Gaidres, fuck me.” Gaidres snarled, the animal sound making Caelius’s cock ache as the man’s fingers slipped free. The head of his cock slid between Caelius’s cheeks. “As you wish, Dominus.” His lips twisted in a sardonic smile as he drove his hips forward and sank his cock into Caelius’s willing

body. Caelius cried out, grateful that those who could overhear would stay silent about it, because he didn’t want to hold anything back. He wasn’t even sure if he could. “Gaidres.” He moaned as the man’s cock eased from his body, only to cry out again as it surged once more inside him. Gaidres’s hands were hard on Caelius’s hips, keeping him where he wanted him. Teeth scraped against Caelius’s neck and Gaidres’s stubble scored his skin, only to be soothed by his tongue in turn. Caelius couldn’t draw a full breath as urgent need turned him inside out. “Oh gods…oh gods.” He gasped, clenching around Gaidres’s cock. He shifted his weight to one hand, desperate to touch him even though the other man was pressed against his back. He wanted more. He reached around him, fingers curling against the nape of Gaidres’s neck, sinking his fingers into the other man’s hair. “Yes, yes, yes.” Caelius turned his head and moaned as Gaidres took his mouth again. He could kiss Gaidres all night, be fucked by him…touch him. It was a madness inside him. Gaidres plunged his tongue into Caelius’s mouth in the same way his cock plunged into Caelius’s ass. His pace was fast, fingers hard where they gripped Caelius. Gaidres snapped his hips harder and then turned with him, bearing them both to the floor where he bent Caelius forward on his knees and fucked him as Caelius had craved. “Does my…cock please you…Dominus?”

Please him? Somehow that seemed inadequate to the pleasure whipping him out of control. It was finer than any wine, more intoxicating than any herb created to make the senses sing. But the words to convey such things were lost to him now with his cheek pressed to the floor and his ass lifted for Gaidres to take. “Yes…yes, Gaidres.” He panted, writhing with each thrust. He slipped a hand between his thighs and curled his fingers around his own cock, crying out as the ache intensified. He spread his thighs wider, stroking with each brutal thrust. “You should…see yourself…Dominus.” There was something in Gaidres’s tone, in the sound of his snarls, that told Caelius the man got a savage pleasure out of seeing a Roman splayed out so, behaving so wantonly. Caelius turned his head, just enough to meet Gaidres’s intent stare. He looked as if he belonged right there, in a position of absolute power. Caelius shivered. “Do I… please you…Gaidres?” Gaidres gripped Caelius’s hips tightly, thrusting hard and jolting them both with every motion. “You please me, Dominus.” He slid his hands up Caelius’s sides. “Your body pleases me.” “Good.” Caelius rocked his hips and clenched around his cock. “Harder, please Gaidres…don’t hold back…” Gaidres obeyed, hand tightening in Caelius’s hair and slamming so hard into him now that they slid along the marble floor, bodies slick with sweat in the faintly stirring air. “Oh gods…yes.” Caelius moaned, his hands braced on

the floor and pushing up to all fours as Gaidres took him. This was far more than he had ever dreamt of. When he’d first approached Gaidres, he’d suspected that the pleasure would surpass that of any other he’d known. But not like this. What he had imagined didn’t even come close. Caelius bit his lip, trying to hold back his rising orgasm, but even not touching his cock anymore didn’t stave off his need. Gaidres’s hand stung his scalp as they rutted. No one had dared use him like this and gods…it was perfect. “Please, please, Gaidres.” He rocked back on the cock in his ass, clenching as Gaidres rocked him forward again. His cries became louder with each untiring thrust. Gods, Gaidres would keep fucking him if Caelius spent himself first and he’d be helpless to do anything but take it. That thought did it and Caelius shuddered, crying out as the orgasm ripped through him. Gaidres stilled, panting hard, fingers trembling as he struggled to remain still. “D-Dominus?” he asked, voice rough. Caelius shook his head wildly. “Don’t stop…finish…by the gods, take your pleasure on me…” He heard Gaidres’s quick intake of breath and worried for a moment that Gaidres would stop out of a courtesy to him instead of finding his release. And then Gaidres withdrew just long enough to flip Caelius onto his back and surged back between his thighs, his cock finding its way to Caelius’s willing entrance without guidance. Caelius cried out as Gaidres slammed into him.

Gaidres’s hands gripped his mussed hair, their eyes locked. He panted with every thrust, the need for release raw in his expression. “Yes…yes…” Caelius gasped, thighs hugging his hips, lifting to meet him. It was almost too much, but he craved the feel of Gaidres’s orgasm inside him. He didn’t have long to wait. No more than a few moments passed before Gaidres could not hold back any longer and his eyes fell shut as he came, hard, jerky thrusts into Caelius as he spilled his seed deep inside him and then sagged, panting hard, breath gone and sweat trailing down his body. Caelius moaned. The smell of Gaidres, of his seed. He could go to sleep with that scent on his skin and revel in it. He slid his hands up, cradling Gaidres’s face in his hands. The gladiator’s forehead rested against Caelius’s shoulder and his breath swept over Caelius’s skin. For just a moment, no quicker than a flash of lightning, they lay like that and then it was over as Gaidres pulled away. Caelius let his hands and legs fall away as Gaidres rose, leaving him sprawled in a lewd heap on the ground. Caelius stared unconcerned up at him while the gladiator looked away, his eyes fixed on some point on the wall, his jaw working. The pride was back full force, maybe even stronger than before. Caelius drew himself up onto shaky feet. “If I’ve pleased, Dominus, may I return to the barracks?” Gaidres turned hard eyes on him. He touched Gaidres’s arm with his fingertips. The

gladiator was still recovering from months of neglect and it would be cruel to keep him up any later. “A moment, Gaidres, and then if you wish you may go.” Caelius bit back a sigh. So much anger in one man, though justified, he was sure. He’d not had much experience with gladiators or soldiers, not since his brief stint in the military years ago, but he didn’t recall any of them being so tense, everywhere. Perhaps they hadn’t been forced to serve an animal disguised as a nobleman, as Gaidres had. He searched Gaidres’s face a moment, trying to determine what was so appealing about him other than a perfect body. And then he let his hand fall, gesturing instead toward a basin filled with lukewarm, scented water and a cloth draped over the rim. “I doubt you wish to return unclean.” Especially smelling of a Roman lover. Caelius had always enjoyed lying with his lovers afterward, tenderly cleaning each other, kissing and touching until they recovered the energy to play again. He could spend hours tasting Gaidres and caressing him, and after that he’d crave more. But something about Gaidres screamed that he wished for distance the moment his orgasm was over. Gaidres followed his direction to the basin of water. “Gratitude, Dominus.” He bent to retrieve his tunic and subligar, holding them away from the water as he rinsed his cock and stomach off. Caelius moved to the huge bed, covered in furs and silks, and sprawled there on his stomach, watching unabashedly.

“You are very handsome.” Caelius could not hide the wistfulness in that statement. “Would you come to me again, Gaidres?” Gaidres tensed and glanced back at him, rewrapping the cloth and leather about his hips and thighs, and tugging his tunic on. “I will do as Dominus commands.” Caelius sighed and waved one hand. “I know you will. I’d like to know if you would come to me willingly.” Gaidres gave him a wary look. “I am willing, Dominus.” He propped his chin up on his hands, trying to discern if Gaidres was telling him the truth or not. What seemed clear outside these walls was more muddled within them. A part of him said that Gaidres wasn’t willing at all, but the man had responded to him as if he’d been more than willing. In the past there had been slaves who’d said they were, but once in private it was clear they had no interest. It was hard to tell with this man, as guarded as he was. He’d wait a few days. If Gaidres was interested, it would be apparent soon enough. The gladiator glanced toward the curtained door and Caelius gave in to the man’s obvious desire to leave. “You may go. Rest, Gaidres. After the ordeal with my uncle, you need to recover your strength.” Gaidres hesitated as though torn between taking the dismissal and rushing from the room or lingering instead. “Dominus…if I may ask a question?” Caelius sat up, unashamed in his nakedness, curious to know what was on Gaidres’s mind. “You may, of course.” “When can we train? We have been too long out of the arena.”

Caelius frowned, tilting his head. “You and the others need time to regain your strength…” Gaidres shook his head. “We cannot regain our strength if we do not train! With no doctoré we can only spar, not train. Without proper weapons…” “I trust you know far more than I regarding such things.” Perhaps it would be dangerous for men in their situation to go soft from lack of training. Some skills might not be recovered. Curse Craxus for being such a degenerate wastrel. “If the medicus agrees with you, I will allow it.” “We need a doctoré, a real one this time,” Gaidres said forcefully, leaving Caelius to wonder what had happened to the last. Craxus probably sold him for some wine. “You’ll get one. I have started a search already and ordered new equipment, armor, weapons, sparring gear.” The equipment in the ludus would have been laughable if men hadn’t been expected to actually wield such things. “Gratitude, Dominus.” For once Caelius thought he might mean the words. “You must know, Gaidres, that most of the men with you cannot be expected to continue to train as gladiators, nor fight as one. They will never recover.” As much as Caelius wished it weren’t true, ignoring the realities wouldn’t help. Gaidres’s jaw tightened and his tone turned fierce. “I know. But they are good men, Dominus, who have given all to this house and received nothing in return.” “I believe you, Gaidres. Please trust me in this. They will not be disposed of.” That Gaidres had such fears and that he had spoken out about what his men needed showed the

mark of an exceptional leader. At that promise, Gaidres lifted his gaze from the floor, startled. “Do you speak true?” “I do. I would ask that you give me a report of which men you think can be salvaged and which cannot. I will find places in my household for those who wish to remain.” Gaidres bowed his head, this time with respect. “My gratitude, Dominus. Truly.” He trusted that Gaidres would do the job better than most. There was no sense in keeping a man in a fight who would not only get himself killed if he did not have the strength, but would also be unable to defend his fellow gladiators in the arena. There were more than enough tasks suitable for those who could not continue doing heavy or dangerous work. Caelius rose from his bed and walked over to Gaidres, laying his hand on the gladiator’s chest. He brushed his mouth over Gaidres’s, savoring the brief contact of firm lips against his own. He suppressed a shiver and pulled back. Gaidres needed sleep, not to be cajoled back into bed. Another time. “Sleep well, Gaidres.” Sleep well. Gaidres mulled that parting comment over as he followed the slave and guards back to the barracks. He didn’t think he’d be sleeping at all. He would be the only one, it seemed, as he entered the temporary quarters. Gaidres was glad, though, for the men’s sound sleep. They would need it if Caelius was

sincere when he spoke of bringing in a new doctoré, of raising the ludus to new heights. It had been weeks since they’d last trained, and it showed. Muscles had begun to go soft, stamina was halved —it might never return if left too much longer. For many, though, it never would. They did not deserve the fate that usually befell gladiators who were no longer of use, which was either as fodder for the opening games or as a worker in the mines—both death sentences. He said nothing as he was urged inside, glaring at the hapless guard who locked the slatted door shut. He paced, tossing his tunic off and onto the clean bedding of his cot at the back of the large room. Even the lure of a clean blanket and fresh ticking wasn’t enough to draw him to sleep yet. “Argon?” Demos’s voice came on a whisper from a cot across the room. Gaidres ignored his friend. He did not care for subtle concerns about his well-being or whether or not he had pleased their master. Caelius had been well pleased, of that he had no doubt. He sat down on the edge of the pallet, hands sinking into his hair. What now? He was not averse to a regular routine of sex of the sort he’d had tonight, but to be a whore for any man, let alone a Roman…It gnawed at him, made him want to kill something. Or someone. Still, there were worse ways to die than having fucked a man as beautiful as Caelius. Gaidres knew most of those ways personally. He closed his eyes, and another face flashed across the

darkness. Another man beneath him, with green eyes, not dark, with pale skin, not golden. With love in his smile as he drew Gaidres down against him. Gaidres opened his eyes and pushed to his feet. He’d learned that looking back only caused one to stumble. He could not afford to stumble, especially not now.

Chapter Four Caelius picked at the dates, stuffed with almonds, rolled in honey and sesame seeds. That, along with wine and goat cheese, made up the last course of the banquet which continued still, though it was late in the night. Valeriana’s giggling chatter drowned out the lyre player and his suggestive poetry. And as much as Caelius would’ve liked to have heard more, it was for the best. It made him think of Gaidres when his mind needed to be occupied by matters at hand. Gaidres. The name suited him far more than the one given to him by the Romans. It was a strong name. Now that Caelius’s body had lost the lingering ache from Gaidres’s touch, he was keen to experience it again. His thoughts wandered, drawn to that man who radiated fury and pride in equal measures. Caelius found that mix to be even more enthralling than Gaidres’s magnificent body and his skill as a lover. Some men only penetrated women, despite the other things they might do with mouth or hands, and he gloried in the fact that Gaidres had no such inhibitions. “You are quiet this eve, husband.” Valeriana’s voice cut through his thoughts. He had been surprised by her arrival in Fidena. She was fickle as a spring breeze. He had considered sending her back to Caere, but decided it was better to have her where he could keep an eye on her. He did not care to leave her with her family as her sole influence.

“I know. A recent judgment has been vexing me.” Caelius gave her arm an absent pat. “Apologies.” “You’re always thinking of politics and never of me,” Valeriana complained. Then she was distracted by the woman beside her, wife of a local statesman, and he was saved having to respond. His eyes wandered over the circle of couches until they fell on Petronius. A man who came to rest somewhere between ally and rival depending on his whim at the moment. He was also the one man most standing in Caelius’s way for advancement. Petronius was in turn amused by Caelius’s fondness for young, beautiful men and irritated by the principles that Caelius espoused in his home and tried to foster in the courts. Caelius had served in his current position half a term now and his judgments had not endeared him to the powerful men of the city. Caelius turned his attention back to Valeriana as the tables were taken away and the dancers took up their positions in the center of the room. “Come, Valeriana, let us be more social.” It was time to mingle, congratulate their host and otherwise engage in the game that some called politics and others survival. It seemed he spent far too much time on politics instead of on his lands and people…or on pleasure, given and received. In truth, he had little stomach for the backbiting and dancing in circles around each other that was the heart of politics. A necessary evil, however, because without position a man was nothing in Rome. Less than nothing.

And now that the Senate had named Augustus emperor, the game was even more dangerous. He claimed not to be the dictator that those before him were and he seemed to want to restore the equality of the Republic, yet Caelius saw little real evidence of that. Why should Augustus give up powers granted to him by the Senate for perpetuity? What man would? “This is my favorite part of events such as this.” True enough, Valeriana’s eyes sparkled as she carefully sat up. Caelius rose from the couch and held out his hand to help her up. She was breeding, and the stola draped over the mound of her belly. Though he would’ve preferred for her to have stayed at the villa and rest, she had insisted on attending with him. “Do you tire?” It was quite late and if she would not take her own well-being into consideration, there was that of the babe she carried. “You worry too much.” Her fingers gripped his hand hard as she rose, pressing his family’s ring into her skin. Her mouth made a little moue of dissatisfaction. “I wish you would let me purchase you a new ring, several in fact. The old one hardly suits. I doubt your father would have minded.” Caelius glanced at the signet ring that he’d worn ever since his father had passed. It was gold and onyx with the image of a phoenix engraved on its surface. It was a reminder of his promise to his father that he wouldn’t forget everything he had been taught. It had been the source of one of the constant quibbles

between him and Valeriana ever since he had taken her into his home. For her it represented an old way of life that needed to be put aside to further their interests and the House of Laraniia. “The ring stays,” he said in a tone that brooked no further argument. Valeriana clung to Caelius’s arm as they began to circulate among the other guests. Her perfume was too heavy, cloying in his nostrils, and all that filled his mind was the remembered scent of Gaidres and how much he preferred it. There had never been love between him and his wife, but his tolerance for her unreasonable demands and pouting ploys for attention had lowered since he’d laid eyes on his gladiator lover. “Caelius, you came.” Petronius sidled up beside him and his smile was as false as his wife’s hair. “We thought not to see you this evening, what with the state of your new properties. A shame Craxus left you with such a weight.” The man’s insincere expression sent a slide of distaste down Caelius’s back. “The weight is not so great, Petronius. I’ve found more than one fine prize at my uncle’s ludus.” He would be ever grateful to his late uncle for Gaidres, if nothing else. “Do not concern yourself with my welfare, friend. The situation is not near so dire as suspected.” “Caelius has already seen to the comforts of the villa. It is so much more grand than the one in Caere.” Valeriana laughed, no doubt making sure she was not forgotten. “I have joined him sooner than we had planned.”

Caelius’s expression remained pleasant. As grand as his uncle’s villa was turning out to be now that the restoration had begun, it could not begin to compare with their home in Caere. Judging from the tightness of Petronius’s expression, Valeriana’s comment had only strengthened Caelius’s assertion regarding the state of his inheritance. And Petronius was not pleased with his presence here in Fidena, nor that it was likely he would not be leaving anytime soon. “How fortuitous for you.” Petronius turned to take a cup of wine from a passing slave. “We had wondered if you ever were going to join in the games. Your tastes are so provincial.” Whereas Petronius’s vices made his own seem like children’s games. Valeriana opened her mouth, no doubt to agree with Petronius, and Caelius lightly squeezed her arm in warning. Why he had ever thought she would make a proper statesman’s wife, he didn’t know. She cared for parties, stirring up trouble, and little else. Come to think of it, those traits made her an ideal candidate. As much as he had enjoyed being apart from her, it was for the best that she joined him. With her time so near, he wanted to be certain she and the babe were healthy. “I could use the advice of a man with your expertise.” Caelius accepted a goblet of wine as it was passed around. “Your gladiators have given you much renown.” Petronius puffed his chest out, as pleased as a cock strutting about its yard. “They have served me well. Though,

my family has cultivated our ludus for generations. You’re new to it all, so don’t be discouraged if it takes years before you see any results.” “I shall take your advice to heart.” Valeriana shot Caelius a startled glance before her expression smoothed. As pleasurable—and simple—as it would be to knock good Petronius off his self-appointed marble pedestal, the man was not without his uses. Caelius knew well when to bite his tongue and now was one such time. “You have participated in games at the arena of that emancipated slave, Atilius. I had heard whispers that he cut corners during the building.” Felix had not been able to discover any credence to them, but it didn’t stop Caelius from wanting to learn more about the arena nearest his new villa. Petronius laughed and waved his hand in dismissal. “So speak those with jealous tongues, that they do not have an amphitheatre so grand. It seats over fifty thousand people. And since its unveiling two years ago it has become a very popular amphitheatre for important games. I have been there many times and have not seen any evidence of those rumors. Put them from your mind, Caelius.” “Well, as you have said, it will be some time before my ludus or villa is up to being in the public eye. When it is, you shall be one of the first that I’ll invite to see what I have accomplished.” “We’d be delighted to have you and your wife visit.” Valeriana cast him a quick look as if to ask if that was suitable.

Caelius gently squeezed her hand and gave her a ghost of a smile as she beamed. Guilt pricked his conscience over his earlier irritation with her. Valeriana did want what was best for their house, but their thoughts on what was best differed widely. “And I will look forward to the invitation.” Petronius had the air of a man who was satisfied with the outcome of their discussion. “If you will excuse me, I see another I must speak with. In the meantime, welcome once again to Fidena.” At least the man didn’t consider him a threat at the moment. He had too much to do to worry about Petronius pressing him about his activities, and a little flattery went far with men like that. And tomorrow when the wine fumes were gone, Petronius would start to wonder about what prizes Caelius might have discovered. With any luck, by the time Caelius would need his advice or contacts when it came to the gladiator games, Petronius would be willing to help if only to satisfy his curiosity. “Why were you fawning over that odious man?” Valeriana hissed under her breath as Petronius walked away. “Caelius, I do not understand you. Your family, position and money are greater than his. Why curry his favor at all?” “Because I do not want him to see me as a threat right now.” Caelius cast a covetous eye toward one of the dancers, his garments cut in such a way as to leave nothing to the imagination. The habits from years of hedonism did

not fade, though now he preferred Gaidres’s broad body and inner strength to that young man’s lithe beauty. “And I want him thinking about what rewards he might reap if he does give me aid.” “I fail to see what aid he could give us,” Valeriana complained as Caelius signaled his slave, letting him know that they were ready to leave and to get their guards. “You’re not thinking far ahead enough.” Caelius guided her over to their host to take their leave. “Petronius’s ludus has supplied gladiators for many of the most prominent games. Perhaps one day I’ll be able to make use of his contacts. It is better to keep him as an ally for now.” “Do we have to go? The night is not yet over with.” “You need your rest. And I would not be a dutiful husband if I did not care for you.” Caelius needed his own rest, as well. There was much to do in the morning and if the gods looked with favor upon him, perhaps he’d enjoy some time with Gaidres. Gaidres had expected it, but still when the summons came, his heart raced. He took a deep breath and handed off his rudis to Hierocles, who had been deemed not well enough to train and so was in charge of the weapons. The other man took the wooden sword with a short nod and Gaidres sighed, clapping him on his shoulder before following the guard who’d come for him. He could only imagine how it must feel to have to sit by and watch your peers train and fight and be unable to do the same.

A few moments later, as he stepped into the atrium, Caelius was waiting, walking along the edge of the shallow pool there. It lay empty now as slaves repaired the tiles Craxus had ruined with years of neglect. Gaidres stopped a few yards away, lowering his head. “Dominus.” Caelius approached, gesturing to the slaves and the guard. “Leave us.” He placed a hand on Gaidres’s arm and his fingers tingled from the contact. Gaidres had tried not to think about what had happened between them, and when Caelius hadn’t called for him the next night or the next or even the next, he’d assumed the man had shifted his interest to other quarry. The way his long fingers stroked Gaidres’s forearm said otherwise. “You seem to be faring better. How are the others? Do they recover as well?” Why did Caelius ask? The medicus had given his report, surely, and it had been as grim as Gaidres had feared. “Some more than others, Dominus.” Gaidres kept his head lowered to hide the helpless anger. He knew the usual fate that would have awaited those who would not regain their fighting strength. He could only hope Caelius had been sincere when he’d vowed not to discard them. “The clean quarters have helped as much as the food and water.” Caelius slid his hand up to Gaidres’s shoulder. “And what are your thoughts on who can continue on and who cannot?” Gaidres’s cock stiffened at the slide of the other man’s hand across his skin. He struggled to keep his mind on the

conversation at hand. “Aemilius, Ianuarius and Hierocles will not recover, Dominus. They struggle with the tasks set to them in the ludus and require more time. Fewer duties.” Gaidres knew how likely that was to happen, but he had to ask. All of the men would still be in fine condition if it weren’t for Craxus. Caelius should not blame them their weakness now. “The others I hope will return to their former strength with time, though not all. Of them, Demos, Marius and Rufus show the most promise.” He met Caelius’s dark eyes and could see that behind the questions, which Gaidres had no doubt were sincere, was another purpose. Gaidres was no fool and the blatant caressing of his arm and shoulder—Caelius’s smooth hands now brushed down the center of his bare chest—left little doubt about the direction of the man’s thoughts. “And the new doctoré? How fares he with the men? Is he as skilled as I was told?” “Doctoré is a fine warrior, Dominus. Gratitude for finding such a man to train us.” It seemed that all the whisperings of returning the ludus to former glory, glory for which Gaidres had not been present, were true. Caelius spared no expense in replacing much of that which was broken. That also included some of Gaidres’s fellow gladiators and it filled him with regret. “That is good to know and what you say about the men is the same as the medicus’s opinion.” Gaidres’s mouth tightened. “If you’ve already spoken with the medicus, why ask my opinion?” Was he thinking to

see if Gaidres would lie to protect the others? “He knows medicine and men’s bodies, but these are your companions. You know their hearts and spirits. If you think, given time and less duties, they will recover, then they shall have it. If not, we’ll find something that will not tax them. It will be difficult, I suppose, to watch others train and go out and fight. The question is, would it encourage them or just frustrate them?” Gaidres shook his head. “I cannot say, Dominus. Every man fights for his own reasons. What one would find bearable another would sooner die than face.” He met Caelius’s eyes. “Only time can answer who among them will bend and who will break.” Caelius lifted his brows. “Do you speak of yourself as well, Gaidres?” Gaidres’s jaw tightened and he looked away. “I do not break.” “No, I do not think you would. I do not seek to break you, Gaidres. Nor even to bend you. I would know you, however.” Caelius paused and Gaidres met his gaze again. “There are no prying ears here, so I will tell you I have thought much about our night together.” Gaidres’s breath caught as a flash of memory danced across his mind Dominus on hands and knees, pleading for more, skin gleaming with sweat as Gaidres drove into him. Guilt followed close behind because he had thought about it, as well. In the nights when he lay in his bunk, tossing in the heavy summer air…all he could think of was that the heat of the man before him was greater than any the sun

could bring. No matter how he fought to not think such things, it seemed beyond his control. Still, there was comfort in the fact that only green eyes and laughing lips filled his dreams, not Caelius. “I am glad you were pleased, Dominus.” Sarcasm dripped from the words. His eyes dropped to Caelius’s lips. He wondered what they would feel like around his cock. Their gazes clashed and Caelius’s fingertips brushed over Gaidres’s nipple, sending a shudder of pleasure through him. The man wreaked disturbing havoc on his senses. “Come with me back to my rooms.” He pressed his lips together, bristling at the order, but pushed aside the urge to refuse. “As you wish, Dominus.” Caelius turned, leading the way back to his rooms. “See that we’re not disturbed,” he said to the guards outside his door. Gaidres’s cock stirred to hardness inside his subligar, and he glanced behind him to the door and the silent slave who stood just inside and then back at Caelius. “Is something wrong?” Gaidres shook his head. “No, Dominus. I just…No, Dominus.” In truth, he wondered if Caelius had the good sense to fear him and that was why he kept a slave present. Most likely. Or perhaps he enjoyed an audience. Caelius smiled, one hand coming up to loosen the tie at his waist, shrugging out of the robe he wore and letting it puddle on the floor around his feet. “Good.” He lifted a brow

with an inviting look. “Come. Take what you want.” Gaidres’s eyes closed and for a heartbeat he didn’t respond before he shook his head. “You do not want that, Dominus.” “I do.” “Fool.” Gaidres reached out and snatched Caelius’s wrists, jerking them behind his back, free hand at the man’s neck in a heartbeat. Gaidres glared down at him. “If I took what I wanted of you, you would find yourself dead by my hands. Best you take what you want from me and be satisfied.” He snatched his hand away from that vulnerable throat, lest he be tempted. Caelius stared up at him, shifting. He glanced at the door and the guard on the other side of the sheer curtain, poised with his hand on the sword. It reminded Gaidres that there were eyes watching them. Gaidres followed his gaze to the guard and Caelius kissed his jaw. “You would not be far behind me.” Caelius arched against Gaidres. “Would you die with me? I can think of worse things.” Gaidres’s eyes narrowed. “I am already dead,” he growled and then claimed Caelius’s lips. He did not concern himself that now Caelius knew his intent, his desire for the man’s blood. Caelius had already proven himself far too trusting with slaves in general, and him in particular. He released Caelius’s wrists and hauled him closer, deepening the demanding kiss. There was no protest, no righteous fury at a slave daring to threaten his master. If

anything, Caelius seemed enflamed by the danger of it and the only sound he made was a desperate, needy moan. Gaidres began to walk them backward, toward the center of the room, and soon they tumbled back onto the bed’s soft ticking, expensive silks and plump pillows. Caelius laughed breathlessly as the kiss broke. He arched beneath Gaidres. “Made it to the bed this time, did we?” Gaidres growled, one knee pushing between the man’s thighs and rocking against his bare hip. “This is just the opening battle…We’ll have the floor for the primus.”

Chapter Five Much later, Caelius lay panting, still reeling from his orgasm, when Gaidres moved to rise. Caelius reached out and placed a hand on his stomach, shaking his head. “You promised me a second battle, my beautiful gladiator.” His hand slid up Gaidres’s stomach, over his chest. That was a promise he would see that Gaidres honored. Once would not be enough. Caelius shifted to his knees on the bed and gave him a seductive glance. “Stay. There is wine, I can have food brought. Replenish yourself. You’ll need your energy.” Gaidres hesitated and then nodded. Perhaps the lure of a cool glass of wine and a meal that wasn’t bread and porridge appealed, if Caelius did not. Caelius slid out of the bed gingerly, still feeling the ache of the fucking. Gaidres watched as he paused to wash himself at a basin of water on a stand beside the bed. Caelius gestured to it and the cloths beside it. “Would you like to wash?” “Gratitude, Dominus.” Caelius gestured to the slave near the door, who then hurried away to fetch food. Caelius turned away from the door to find Gaidres looking at him sideways, almost as if he were a wild animal and the gladiator couldn’t decide if he was going to attack or stay put. Scowling, Gaidres turned away and set the cloth back in the basin, his muscles tensing as Caelius approached. He touched Gaidres’s shoulder, ran his hand down the

man’s side. So many scars. He couldn’t be any older than Caelius, yet he’d clearly seen a hard life in those same years. Gaidres turned his head, once again glaring at him. It was clear that the man had things to say and just as clear he had no intention of saying them. Given that he was a man of strong passions, it must be difficult for him to bite his tongue and stay silent, waiting for Caelius to make the first move. “So stern and unbending.” He touched Gaidres’s jaw and then cupped his cheek. Gaidres’s lips pressed together. “It would not break you, I think, to take a little pleasure in your respites with me.” The scowl deepened. “What would you know of it… Dominus?” He cocked his head, studying Gaidres, and then withdrew his hand. This man had been hurt in ways far more painful than the obvious scars on his body indicated. It made Caelius question what he had meant earlier about being dead already and he vowed to find out what he could about Gaidres’s former life. Perhaps Felix could help. Maybe he shouldn’t prod Gaidres so hard. It had to be an unusual situation for the gladiator, finding pleasure instead of pain at the hands of a Roman. Caelius turned back toward the rumpled bed and tossed Gaidres a glance over his shoulder. “I know that your body experienced the same pleasure mine did and that you crave wine and something good to fill your belly.” He stretched out on his stomach on the bed and propped his chin on his hand. “You stare at me as if I just bit

you.” Caelius’s eyes caressed Gaidres’s chest. He could already see the changes in Gaidres’s appearance. The pinched look was gone about the eyes and mouth and while he was sweaty from toiling in the sun and the fucking that had followed, it was still clear that the gladiators had been given access to the baths each evening. Gaidres smelled of sun, wind, hard work and sex. Remembering it sent yearning ricocheting through him. “Though, I’ll admit, the thought of biting you has crossed my mind. You look at me as if you’d just eaten something foul. Other than being a Roman, is it so hard to be in my company?” Gaidres lowered his eyes. “No, Dominus. Apologies for my offense.” He groaned. “I despise that proper talk. It’s all I hear, all day every day, proper this, deference that, the politics and the falsehoods. I tire of it, Gaidres, and would like my time with you to be at least a bit more honest.” Gaidres glanced sidelong at him as if unsure how to respond. Caelius sat up on the bed, as an idea occurred to him. “Perhaps an agreement between you and me?” He gestured to the room. “In this chamber, you may speak your mind. Without repercussion.” Gaidres’s brows shot up. “You jest.” He grinned, shaking his head. “I do not. I’m afraid you’ll have to hold off on that strangling me while you fuck me idea, but in this room consider your words your own.”

“And when we leave this room? What of repercussions then?” “Ah. You mean, will you be punished later for what you say now? I would be offended by the suggestion that I would be so devious, but given the circumstances perhaps it makes sense. No, Gaidres. Words are not weapons. You cannot slay me with them, much as I think you might like to. I would know your mind here, even if it is not what I may want to hear.” Caelius tilted his head, his expression curious. “Can you do that?” Gaidres gave him a short nod, his expression still not sure. Given what Caelius had learned of the gladiator he thought that Gaidres would consider it worth a lashing to not have to mind his words. He was sure Gaidres’s tongue burned with the hundred and one things he longed to say. “Yes, Dominus.” “You called me a fool.” Gaidres winced inwardly. He could just imagine the punishment for that error in judgment. He did not deny it, though. “I did, Dominus.” “I cannot tell you how much that pleased me.” “Now I know you jest.” Gaidres stopped as the curtains at the door parted and two young men entered, one bearing a laden platter covered by a fine cloth, and the other a jug of wine and two cups. “That I do not.” Caelius gestured for them to set it on the small table near the bed and then for their dismissal. “For a

moment, you’d spoken your mind. In truth, a fool I may be, and not just for taking you into my bed. And you would not be the only one who thinks so.” He laughed. “Just the only one who would say such to my face.” Gaidres had expected reprisal for his words, his threat, his painful grip. Instead, Caelius seemed amused by it. The man was an enigma. What did he want of him? Sometimes it seemed like all he desired was a wild rutting and nothing more, then other times he was overly familiar, serving Gaidres instead of the other way around. It baffled him and he would have preferred things to be clear, to know what was expected of him and then be done with it. Caelius rose and twitched aside the cloth, baring cheese, olives, sliced meats and fine bread. “You must be famished. Please, come eat.” “You’re wrong.” Caelius gave him a confused look and Gaidres explained. “Words can be weapons. They may not slay, but they can wound.” “You have a point,” Caelius admitted. “Words can wound if you let them, or if there is truth in them you don’t wish to admit. Or if you care. There are precious few whose opinions matter to me and all are within my household. And though my tongue has been used to lash others in court or to battle with my peers, I’ve not been known to use it to abuse others.” He held out his hand to Gaidres and caught his arm. Gaidres allowed himself to be drawn to the table. “Time will show you if I speak truth or not, until then, take your ease. Eat. And if you wish, speak some of which you have

bursting to come out of you, before you choke on it.” Gaidres sat, his mouth watering at the sight of all that food. Since Caelius had taken over the ludus, the food had improved, in quality as well as amount, but slaves, even gladiators, did not receive fine meals like the one before him now. Meat was a rarity in the gladiator quarters, as it was heavy in the stomach and weighed a man down in battle. He reached for that first, glancing at the other man. Caelius tilted his head. “What is it? That you wish to speak is obvious. Have I not given you permission?” “Would you die for a stranger’s amusement?” Gaidres cursed himself the moment the words were out. What difference did it make if Caelius would or not? He would never be forced to and that was the difference between himself and his dominus. Caelius bit an olive in half, his eyes thoughtful. “No. And I do not hold to the belief that because you are a slave you are not also a man, worth more than a few moments’ entertainment.” Gaidres snorted, tearing a hunk of bread from the loaf. “And yet here I am. An afternoon’s entertainment. And the evening’s entertainment, as well. Is it different?” Caelius sighed. “Not to you, I suppose. To me it is. You will not die sharing my bed, as you would in the arena. We both receive pleasure…perhaps that is a salve to my conscience.” He shook his head, pouring them both a goblet of wine. “I cannot make the games end, Gaidres. I resisted becoming involved at first. In my world, in my life…I do what I must the same as you. You are not the only one

who finds his actions often dictated by others, whether you wish it or not.” Gaidres didn’t doubt that. It was hardly comparable, though. “No one will kill you if you do not do as you’re told.” Caelius laughed. “Won’t they? Surely you know how common it is for a man to meet his end at the tip of a rival’s dagger.” Gaidres scowled and tore open the hunk of bread, stuffing it with some of the meat and cheese and even some of the olives. Who knew if or when he’d be offered such a meal again? He intended to make the most of it. Caelius took a sip of his wine and seemed to eat more to keep Gaidres company than out of any real appetite. “What changed your mind?” Gaidres paused to drink some wine before tearing off another hunk of bread. “Why become involved in the games now if you’ve resisted thus far?” “I inherited you.” Caelius smiled. “And took that as a sign from the gods that if I wish to move forward in my career then I’d have to bow to others’ ideas of entertainment.” “If you have no fondness for the games, then what do you find entertaining, Dominus?” “Beautiful, naked males,” Caelius replied with a wicked chuckle. “In my bed, or playing with each other.” “And if they resist?” Gaidres’s brows furrowed. “What if you see a particularly beautiful boy who has no interest in other men, but who cannot tell you no because he is a slave?” Caelius’s mouth twisted in a grimace of distaste. “There

is no pleasure in the forcing, or seeing tears and shame. Had I wanted to, I could’ve had you by force, done the fucking instead of you fucking me.” Helpless rage leaped through Gaidres even as he nodded acknowledgement of that. However much his pride protested, it was the truth. “And there would’ve been no pleasure in it for you. And you would’ve truly hated me.” Caelius shrugged. “I enjoy the giving and receiving. If there had been no desire of any kind in your eyes today, and if you had not responded to me before, I would have left you alone and found someone willing to use me.” Gaidres had been curious about that since the first night. “Why would you have a slave use you, why not find someone of your stature, or above even, to use you? Why lower yourself and submit to the invasion of a slave?” It made no sense. He understood the pleasure of being penetrated, though it was not his preference. No, what baffled him was what pleasure Caelius gained from submitting to one who was beneath him. Normally, it was the other way around, with those above looking to force others to submit to them. Caelius sipped his wine. “Now, that is the real question, isn’t it? Perhaps the answer to that should cost you more than immunity from reprisal.” Gaidres’s eyes narrowed. “You said speak my mind.” “That’s true. In reality, the why of it is not so complicated. The lack of complication is, in fact, the main reason. My desires are, as you seem well aware, unusual. Those of my

station who knew would cease seeing me as worthy of the power I hold now. A slave, however…” “Can neither tell tales nor treat you any less than as your position demands.” Gaidres sat back as understanding dawned. Caelius raised his glass. “See? Clever, just as I suspected.” He leaned forward, one hand slipping up along Gaidres’s bare thigh. “Not to mention the aesthetics. Men of standing do not have the strength and the physical stature I desire. Most go soft well before their time.” Gaidres’s eyes raked over Caelius. He was not muscular, but neither was he soft. Anywhere but his plump ass, that is. “You are not soft, Dominus.” Caelius’s eyes lit up and he laughed. “No, I am not. And I wager, with you to bed me often, I won’t be getting that way anytime soon.” Desire rose as Caelius let his hand slip to his inner thigh. “You don’t feel it lowers you to be penetrated by a slave?” Gaidres poured them both another glass of wine, watching Caelius’s face, searching for a lie or evasion. “A gladiator who is nothing more than an animal?” “You are not an animal.” Then he smiled. “Well, perhaps a lion, but only because of your pride. Those who think gladiators mere animals underestimate those men. And perhaps they’ll discover that to their own folly one day. As for lowering me? Gaidres, I think too highly of myself to be lowered based solely on who I choose to lie with. And the ones who would claim such probably live in fear of their own slaves revolting. All I ask from my own is obedience, loyalty

and hard work. In return I offer my protection, my own loyalty and the respect they are due for their service.” “You are a strange man, Dominus.” That was, perhaps, understating the fact. “True enough. I’ve been named worse.” Caelius sipped his wine and Gaidres thought for a moment, staring down at the table before lifting his head. “When you said that if I’d shown no desire for you, you’d have found someone else. What would be the outcome if I were to refuse to bed you even though I do desire you?” Caelius’s brows shot up. “Why would you? We both know the pleasure found is not only my own. Why would you deny yourself?” Caelius did not understand. The man had never been in the position of having his will taken from him, and could not wrap his mind around the desire to exert one’s free will if only for the sake of doing so for the first time in too long. “Do you think slaves just appear? That we are born in a vat of nothingness only to appear and serve you? I would deny you simply because I could. If I could.” Caelius seemed to consider that. “The truth of the world is, Gaidres, that you are a slave. Whatever you were before, this is what you are now. No, I would not choose to have you unwilling. Should I send you back to your quarters and find another to use me when my need rises? I would rather not, but if that is your choice…” Gaidres knew he might, indeed, choose to come back here if he truly did have a choice, but what did giving a choice matter to the other man? Pride? Ego? It must be

nice to have such luxuries. Gaidres almost said yes, take him back to his cell and not call for him again. But the truth was, he could accomplish so much more by remaining close to Caelius. With Craxus he’d been forced to linger and wait and the years had ticked by before he’d gotten an opportunity. With Caelius…The man all but served himself up for sacrifice. He shook his head. “No. I would stay. Perhaps to you the choice seems not worth considering, but to me choice is so rare that I cannot dismiss one.” Caelius touched the back of Gaidres’s hand. “I would offer you another choice now.” “What choice would that be, Dominus?” “Would you prefer to use your true name in the arena or continue to go on as Argon?” Gaidres’s brows furrowed, for a moment indecision warring within him, but then he shook his head. “Gratitude, Dominus, but I’ll keep Argon. I have…grown used to it.” Caelius gave him a look that said he doubted that was the true reason, though he did not press. Instead, he signaled for the slaves to return and carry away the empty platter of food and they did so in silence. “It does not bother you to have their eyes on you at all times?” Gaidres watched them go, leaving the guard at the doorway and the single slave in the corner, waiting for a command. Caelius glanced over at them, seeming startled by the question. “I’ve never known anything else. Privacy is something I’ve never had. How can you miss something

you’ve never known?” Gaidres supposed that was true. They lived such different lives. Not just gladiator and dominus, but as men. Back home in Thrace there were slaves, but not like here. Not to perform every bodily duty for someone. Romans didn’t wash themselves, they didn’t dress themselves, they didn’t even always feed themselves. They never cleaned, they never cooked, they never got their hands dirty, it seemed. He could not imagine living life that way. It barely seemed like life at all. As always when thoughts of home came upon him, his mind drifted. A flash of sweat trickling down a sleek, arched back. A whisper of memory, the sound of a familiar moan, his name on beloved lips. Gaidres set his jaw and shoved the thoughts aside. No, he would never hear his name on those lips again. He knew that. He would also sooner die than hear that name screamed by a bloodthirsty crowd in the arena. “What are you thinking of?” Caelius’s voice stirred him back to the present and he met curious dark eyes. Gaidres shook his head. “Nothing, Dominus, apologies for my distraction.” He could tell Caelius didn’t believe him, but the man decided not to press. Instead, Caelius’s lashes lowered, eyes dark with blatant desire as he leaned forward. “Then perhaps I ought to give you something you won’t be distracted from.” He slid out of his seat, straddled Gaidres’s thighs and draped his arms around his neck. “We’ve sated one appetite, my beautiful gladiator…let us

sate another.” As their lips met, Gaidres sighed in relief. He suspected there would come a day when his dominus did not accept such lies from him, but that day was not this one. For now the shards of memory that remained of his life before were yet still his own. Untainted and tucked safely away in a corner of his mind where reality, and worse, could not touch them. He would kill to protect them. And die to do the same. Hierocles gritted his teeth as he passed near the dominus’s chambers and heard the moans from within. Argon was at it again with the dominus. From the day their new master arrived, Argon had been whispering in his ear, using his body to influence matters in the ludus. Even worse he’d presumed to try to lead them in the absence of a doctoré. It didn’t take a brilliant mind to notice how matters had turned out and Hierocles was no fool. The older, seasoned warriors had been turned out of the ludus, leaving room for the younger men who had not earned their place yet. And Argon was the rumored favorite. Hierocles wasn’t surprised, not when Argon was again called to the dominus’s rooms. How convenient that Argon managed to avoid sparring and having his lack of ability revealed. Fuming, he turned the corner and walked until the obscene sounds of pleasure left his ears. His errand done, he returned to the gladiator quarters. Hierocles knew the

dominus was watching them, making plans to have him and others sent away, to die in drudgery—no matter what lies the dominus spread about offering them gentler duties. What warrior wanted gentle duties? They had been allowed to remain in the ludus thus far. He tended to the weapons and gear, constantly reminded of chances for glory that had been stolen from him. The doctoré had been instructed to have them ease back into training, much to Hierocles’s disgust. He’d almost rather have been sent to the mines. Tending the weapons…What honor could be found in that? It was a boy’s job, not that of a man. There had been a time when the crowds had chanted his name. Hierocles sat in his cell, nursing the jug of wine he had pilfered earlier. It was becoming the only way he could sleep. He didn’t want to hear Argon return and know that he had been filling the dominus’s head with lies as they took their pleasure in each other. He was a warrior and Argon was no better than a whore. Hierocles took another swig and lay down, staring at the ceiling. The new doctoré seemed to be a sharp man. He would keep matters from progressing too far. Surely the dominus would take the word of his doctoré over that of his whore and Argon would soon learn his place. Or the dominus would grow bored with his new entertainment and Argon would find that his star had fallen. Hierocles could ingratiate himself with the new doctoré. Show him how knowledgeable he was. Then, when Dominus finally decided to be rid of the unfit men for good,

he might not be one of them. He might be able to stay on until he could prove that he deserved to become a gladiator once more. He closed his eyes, but despite the wine, scenes kept recurring in his mind. How Argon pretended to care, urging him to rest and regain his strength when he really feared Hierocles honing his skills again. And Argon had kept assuming leadership over them when it was Hierocles who had been in this ludus the longest. Argon should have deferred to him, but all the other men had accepted Argon’s guidance without question. Then the dominus had spoken with him and a few others this morning regarding his concerns that they should be dismissed as gladiators for their own health. His hands clenched into fists and he took another long drink of the wine. Oh, the dominus had been full of soft words when he told him of the medicus’s opinion and offered any number of other things they could do, but no arguments to allow him to fight again had swayed the man. They would be allowed to train only as much as the medicus deemed they could handle. He heard Argon’s return and Demos’s sleepy greeting. They exchanged words in low voices. No doubt Argon was bragging about how he had the dominus’s full attention. Hierocles lay on his cot and seethed. He’d bide his time for now. The dominus would tire of him. Or else Argon would do something to prove how unworthy he was. He could wait. To see Argon fall, Hierocles could wait for an eternity.

Chapter Six Lunge. Thrust. Sweep. Turn. Lunge. A dance only a warrior knew and one only a warrior could teach to another. Gaidres watched his partner now, a half smile tugging at his hard lips as he dodged and spun and lunged in rhythm to Demos’s movements. His friend was good, very good. Demos had recovered far quicker than Gaidres had suspected he would. He would mention as much the next time he saw Caelius. In a sudden flash, Gaidres found himself flat on his back in the dirt, a victim of his own distraction as he glowered up at the smirking young man standing over him. He blamed it on Caelius. “Your thoughts were elsewhere, Argon.” Demos made the proclamation with another wide grin as he reached down to help him to his feet. Gaidres scowled and dusted himself off. “Cease your laughter, else you’ll find yourself missing some of your teeth. Then what will you chew your bread with, Demos?” Demos laughed and Gaidres shoved his shoulder goodnaturedly. “Enough! Again!” Doctoré barked and they both leaped back into position, humor gone as they each brandished their rudis and the mock battle raged again. Hierocles stood on the sidelines watching, a hard look on his face. Gaidres could understand his anger. A man unable to fight was bad enough, but a gladiator unable to

do so might as well be dead. What purpose did he serve? He could not blame the man for his bitterness. In time, Hierocles would settle into his new role. Demos snickered as they circled and lunged, wooden swords clashing against shields and each other. “Your eye wanders, Argon. Has our dominus lost his appeal so easily?” His voice was quiet lest they both earn a lesson in concentration from Doctoré. Gaidres glared at him and knocked a sharp thrust aside with his shield. “Envious, Demos? Of him or of me?” He laughed at the indignant look that crossed Demos’s face and barely sidestepped a vicious lunge of his opponent’s weapon. “Your ego knows no bounds, Argon. How does your pride taste when you’re whoring for our master, eh?” He laughed and scrambled to one side as Gaidres charged. “Oh ho! The truth stings.” The laughter ceased when Gaidres spun lightning fast, one leg sweeping out as he did, and this time it was Demos who ended the match flat on his back in the dust. “My pride is just fine. Do not concern yourself,” he snapped. Demos gave him a sharp look. “It was naught but a jest.” Gaidres knew that and sighed as he reached down a hand to help his friend up. “Apologies. I have not been sleeping well.” A moment of silence met that statement and his lips twitched as he glanced at Demos, who appeared to be doing his best to not snicker. “Cease. I did not mean it in that way.”

Before Demos could reply, movement on the balcony overlooking the training courtyard caught his attention and both turned to glance up at the woman who stood there, a group of slaves surrounding her, poised to attend. Valeriana, Caelius’s wife. “Doctoré, your men seem to be in fine fighting form this morning.” She leaned over the balcony. The doctoré lifted his gaze to her, then inclined his head as the sparring faltered. “Domina has a good eye, but they could do better.” Valeriana’s lips had a bit of a sulk to them and there was a bored look to her eyes. One beringed hand lay on her swelled stomach as the doctoré demanded that the men begin sparring again. They did, their movements fluid, though perhaps with a bit of extra tension in them now. “Doctoré, you know how important this ludus is to my husband’s career.” Valeriana once again interrupted the bout, mischief entering her voice. “I should like to inspect the men myself. Line them up.” Gaidres stilled. He had, up until now, not crossed paths with the woman and he wished it had remained that way. Her hair was a nearly white-blond, piled on her head in some ridiculous, elaborate style. For a moment their eyes met and hers narrowed before she turned and disappeared. A moment later she reappeared, her slaves hurrying with her, fanning her in the building midmorning heat. She was heavy with child and Gaidres’s eyes caught there before he forced himself to lower his head as Doctoré lined them up.

She waved her fingers at the men. “Ugh, they’re filthy. And scrawny, most of them. These are the men my husband intends to stake his reputation, our future, on?” She sounded incredulous and though there was some truth to her statement, it still raked Gaidres’s spine in annoyance. “Yes, Domina. They are working to regain their strength. Dominus has given me two months to discover what the remaining men can do,” Doctoré replied. She laughed, the sound grating. “Regain their strength? From what? As I hear it, they were left to wallow in laziness, not training or fighting at all, when my husband’s uncle was still alive.” “Laziness and neglect are very different circumstances, Domina,” Gaidres bit off, knowing he shouldn’t speak but unable to stop himself. The men had been sorely abused and he could not help the urge to rise to their defense. He’d made a mistake. And an enemy, if she hadn’t already been one. “You speak ill of your former dominus?” A dangerous light appeared in Valeriana’s eyes. “Not wise, even for a slave that is sometimes favored, especially when you speak of my husband’s bloodline.” Gaidres stared at the ground, muscles tensed. She walked up and down the line. “Two months seems hardly enough. Most are no better than mangy old curs. What happened to the other slaves my husband was going to purchase?” “He wants these men settled into a routine before bringing in new blood, Domina.” The doctoré glanced

toward the villa, as if hoping Caelius would appear. Valeriana wrinkled her nose in distaste, then fixed her narrowed eyes on Gaidres. “That one can leave now. It’s plain to see that even two months won’t save him.” Valeriana pointed to Marius and Demos. “Those as well. Have the others strip out of their equipment and rags to run around the courtyard. I wish to see what kind of muscle tone they truly have.” “Valeriana.” Caelius’s voice cut through the scene. “What is going on here?” He emerged from the tunnel out onto the training grounds and raked everyone with a glance. His eyes locked with Gaidres’s for a moment before moving on. “Caelius.” Valeriana greeted him with a simper, laying her hand on his arm. “You’ve been so busy. I thought I’d take a few cares off your mind. The state of your ludus is shockingly poor. Really, husband, have you given some thought to selling this rabble to the mines and simply starting fresh with more worthy stock?” “I think the sun and heat have wearied you. You should lie down. I’ll have something cool brought for you.” “But—” “That wasn’t a request, Valeriana.” Gaidres glared at the ground as Caelius’s wife huffed and stormed out of the training arena. “Dominus, should I…” Doctoré began. “Ignore whatever orders she just gave, yes. And in future, as well. Send for me if she tries to overstep again. I’ll handle denying her.” Caelius clapped a hand on the

doctoré’s shoulder. “Continue, Doctoré, as you were.” Gaidres turned as the line of men broke back into pairs. He snatched up his rudis and was about to resume with Demos when he felt eyes on him. He turned his head and met Caelius’s gaze. Caelius tilted his head in Gaidres’s direction. Gaidres looked away without acknowledgement. Inside he was fuming and as he took up his stance opposite Demos, he almost felt sorry for the poor man. He was going to beat him senseless until the fury subsided. Demos would be a bloody mess tonight. Caelius had a meal sent up to his private quarters and brooded as he waited for Gaidres to arrive. Valeriana had not taken his edict to stay away from the ludus and the men very well. It had set off a storm of weeping and accusations that had made him fear for the well-being of the babe she carried. She was now sleeping off her bout of hysterics under the care of Caelius’s old nurse, Helene, who had promised to keep an eye on his wife. He couldn’t send her back to Caere. He wanted her close until the babe came, but there was no denying that in ten minutes she had come close to destroying what little trust he’d managed to garner from the gladiators. Hoping to make amends and soothe the rightfully angry men, Caelius had arranged for someone to come tend to the men after their baths, to massage away sore muscles, followed by a selection of beautiful men and women for their pleasure. It

would have to do for an apology. “The men are settled for the evening, Dominus.” Felix appeared in the doorway. “A guard has been sent to summon Argon.” Caelius grimaced at his scribe. “Gratitude, Felix.” He was not looking forward to this meeting with his lion, not after Valeriana’s antics. “Is there anything more you require, Dominus?” Caelius shook his head. “No. You may leave me for the night. I will be fine.” Thoughts of the ludus and the men in it bothered him as he waited. He didn’t want to see any of the men there die at the end of a sword, even if some were prisoners condemned to be there. At least not all of the games were to the death. And he’d see that his house participated in those rarely. Thoughts of Gaidres consumed him most of all. Gaidres intrigued him, challenged him, and he wanted him by his side more and not in the ludus. He would’ve named him his newest personal guard and kept Gaidres with him, but as foolish as Caelius could be at times, having a guard who wanted to strangle him was beyond idiocy. A sound at the doorway caught his attention and Caelius glanced up to find the object of his thoughts standing there. At least with Gaidres he could apologize face-to-face. Regret over the incident with Valeriana dampened the desire he usually felt at the sight of Gaidres looking so beautifully fierce. “You sent for me, Dominus.” Gaidres did not meet his

eyes, each word bitten off. Caelius sat up and gestured for Gaidres to take the other couch, his heart quickening at the pride evident in Gaidres’s posture. “I wanted to apologize to you.” Gaidres didn’t look as if he cared to sit, more like he wanted to overturn that couch and curse Caelius’s troublesome wife to the underworld. Caelius wasn’t sure if it was ingrained training or politeness that had him obeying. He sat, jaw clenched in absolute, obvious rage, but what made Caelius’s chest ache was the lingering helplessness in Gaidres’s eyes. Valeriana could have ordered Gaidres or the other men to do whatever she pleased and, had Caelius not been there to intervene, they would have no choice but to obey. He could not imagine what it must feel like to be a plaything at the whim of a woman like Valeriana. Or any woman, for that matter. “You are angry still, I see.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement of fact. He sighed. “And with reason. I regret Valeriana’s actions this afternoon. She has been admonished and confined to her rooms for the evening, perhaps for the remainder of her time with child.” Gaidres gave Caelius a hard look. “What you do with your wife is none of my concern, Dominus.” His tone was icy. “Is that all? Or did you require…more of me this eve?” Caelius had intended on behaving. At least at first. Surely after the day Gaidres had had, he’d appreciate a quiet meal. But there was something about the fury in Gaidres that sparked an answering emotion inside him. He

rose, shivering at the way Gaidres looked at him, so intent. “Are you hungry? I had a meal brought up for us.” “Gratitude, Dominus, but I do not care to eat.” Gaidres rose as Caelius approached and Caelius felt his pulse race. The man was magnificent, and never more so than right now with pride screaming in every line of his body. Caelius brushed his fingers over Gaidres’s jaw. Sex was a release for strong emotion and Gaidres needed a release before he made himself insane. “Does nothing here arouse your hunger, my lion? Do you care to sate yourself on me?” He could feel Gaidres through his robe and the scent of him stirred his senses. He slid his hand into Gaidres’s hair. Such power inside the gladiator, barely leashed at the moment. Caelius wanted nothing more than to climb atop Gaidres, guide him inside his body and ride that power all the way to orgasm. “Is that what you wish, Dominus?” “Do you not desire the same thing?” He pressed himself against Gaidres. Gaidres growled, in a sudden movement capturing Caelius’s wrists and turning to bear him back onto the low, backless couch, pinning him there. His eyes narrowed, lip curling in fury. “What I desire, Dominus, is beyond your ability to give me. Do not ask what I wish as if you care to give any of it to me. Tell me what you want and of course I will do all in my power to give it to you, but do not think me a fool, blinded by your soft skin, tight ass and seductive

words.” He snarled and shoved away from him, sitting up and glaring at the wall. Caelius sat up, guilt pricking his conscience. He had not brought Gaidres up here merely to fuck and once again lust had gotten in the way of his good sense. He was a fool not to have noticed the pain under all that rage, though Gaidres had alluded to it before. He’d been so caught up in his own concerns that he hadn’t seen it. He should send Gaidres back and leave him be. This relationship between them was far more complicated than he’d had with other lovers in the past. Yet, Caelius couldn’t bring himself to send him away for good. “Apologies again, Gaidres. I’ll admit, I do have selfish desires.” Caelius touched his hand to Gaidres’s rigid shoulder. “What is it that you want? What is it that your soul is screaming out for right now?” If it was within his power, he’d give it. Whatever it was. Even freedom. Gaidres’s eyes closed, his chest so painful it felt like wooden bands drawn tight enough to crush. “Can you revive the dead? Can you weave back together threads the Fates have severed?” He shoved to his feet, casting a dark glare over his shoulder. “My soul screams for one thing and one thing only.” There was a breath of a pause. “Kerses.” Caelius inhaled sharply, brows furrowing. “Who is Kerses?” Gaidres shook his head, turning his back on him again.

He did not know why he’d even said his name. He hadn’t in so long it tasted foreign on his tongue and that was just another cut slashed through his soul. There was a time when the name, and the man, was the heart of his life, of his being. He sensed Caelius approach, though the man did not come too close. “A lover?” He snarled. “A love. The only one.” And the tale burst out of him. A tale he’d told no one. As he spoke, the burning in his eyes grew until he thought he’d unman himself and shed tears in front of this Roman. “When your uncle’s men came and marched through our village on a mission to fill this ludus with Thracian blood, I was away from him, meeting with the council. Kerses was busy at the market.” He hadn’t been able to protect him. It haunted him every minute of every day. He relived it, in halting words. How the council had been stormed, how they’d been helpless because weapons were forbidden in the council chambers. It’d been easy for the Romans to capture them. How the men had laughed over how easy it had been to pick them off. Cowardly Roman scum with better equipment on their side. And still the Romans had lost many in the furious battle. Gaidres told of being chained, shackled to the back of a cart with the others, the village burning, people screaming, the dead everywhere. And then there he’d been. Kerses. Running toward him, and Gaidres remembered every detail of that last moment. He remembered how Kerses’s jet-black hair had blown across his face, its braids loosened. The blood

on his face from a gash near his brow. And the terror in his green eyes as his gaze found Gaidres in the cart. And then the terror was gone from those beloved eyes. Everything was gone from them and he’d fallen, a Roman sword dug deep in his back. Gaidres closed his eyes, nauseated. “He never caused anyone any injury. Any hurt. And as reward for his gentleness he was slaughtered before my eyes.” He turned his head and opened his eyes to glare at Caelius. “Can you give me that undone, Dominus? Can you give me my heart back?” Caelius seemed stunned, then finally shook his head, dark eyes sad. “I did not know it was my uncle who sent the men that captured you. I’m sorry, Gaidres, but I cannot give you your heart back.” “I thought not. Keep your worthless apologies to yourself. You’re no better than any other Roman,” Gaidres snarled and then fell silent, heart pounding in his chest. Why had he said those things? Not even Demos knew of his loss. Caelius poured a glass of wine and handed it Gaidres. He frowned, but after a moment he downed it. Caelius refilled it and poured his own glass, silent for the moment. He was grateful for it, as it gave him time to gather the composure that had been shredded. “What if I gave you your freedom? It’s not your heart, not even close—” “Where would I go?” Gaidres cut in harshly. “My home is destroyed, everything I loved gone, Dominus.” Caelius frowned. “What if I were to take you out of the

ludus? Give you another position?” Gaidres stared at him, astonished. “I do not want anything from you, Dominus. You may offer as many enticements as you like and it will never be enough. So do not even try.” His stomach churned at the idea that Kerses’s death would somehow be exonerated by the offering of a different slave position or some other piteous payment. “You cannot buy a clear conscience.” Caelius frowned. “I do not know what to say, what I can give…” “You cannot give me anything!” Gaidres slammed the cup down and cursed ever saying anything. No man, no Roman, deserved to know what they had cost him. He still did not know why he had finally broken his silence. “You say ‘What if I gave you this,’ as if you expect me to say ‘Of course! That is the very thing to make me forget that your family is the reason the man I love is dead!’ Is that what you want? What if you did give me my freedom? What if you did give me some other position in your household? What if? What would that achieve?” Nothing. It would achieve nothing because from the moment the light had died in Kerses’s eyes, Gaidres had become nothing. His life continued only because he could not bring himself to take it. Kerses would have been horrified at the thought of him doing so. Only that, and the hope of avenging Kerses’s death, kept Gaidres from lying down to die and join his love in the underworld. Caelius stared at him as if he couldn’t understand a love

like that. Of course he couldn’t. What did the Romans know of that kind of a powerful connection to someone? As painful as it was now, it had been glorious when Kerses was still alive and they were together. “You want to die.” “Yes. Leave me in the ludus, Dominus. It is where I belong.” “If that is your wish, then you shall have it.” Gaidres watched Caelius as he crossed the room to stand before him. He didn’t know what to expect, but it was not the tender touch of Caelius’s hand against his jaw before the other man closed the distance between them and kissed him. Gaidres allowed the kiss, though for the first time he didn’t return it. He felt cold inside, in a way he hadn’t for a long time. He should never have spoken of the past. Remembering made his existence seem unbearable now. It would take time to rebuild the walls that held back the flood of memories. Caelius seemed to realize that after a moment and broke the kiss, looking up at Gaidres with confused, sad eyes. “Apologies for bringing up such thoughts for you, Gaidres. It was not my intent when I called you this night. I do not understand your pain, but I see it is real and I regret having any part in causing it. Truly.” He turned toward the doorway, and after he called to have Gaidres returned to the ludus, Gaidres spoke. “Why do you apologize for what you do not understand?” Why did he apologize at all?

Caelius tilted his head. “Because someone should.” Gaidres blinked, stunned. As simple as that. He apologized because someone should. No one, in all the long three years Gaidres had been a slave, had ever thought about that. If his pain had been acknowledged at all, it was the physical sort and only in so much as how it would affect his worth. “You are a strange man.” A smile flickered over Caelius’s lips. “So I’ve been told, on any number of occasions. I doubt I’ll change at this point in my life. You’ve only known Roman monsters, Gaidres, and not all are like my uncle, who took without a care for anyone but himself. I am not like him. Though, I’ll admit I do enjoy my own pleasures, enough that I sometimes don’t look at where those pleasures come from.” There was a chasm between them. Two men from such very different experiences that they could never hope to reach an understanding. And he couldn’t understand why Caelius still seemed to want to try. “You’ve been blessed in some ways,” Caelius said. “As painful as it was to have lost your Kerses, you are the only man I’ve met who has loved so. May you be reunited soon.” Gaidres gave Caelius a thoughtful look over his shoulder as he was led out of the room. What kind of man was he? Gaidres didn’t understand him and it seemed the confusion was mutual. The strange thing was, Caelius seemed to want to understand Gaidres. Gaidres just wasn’t sure why. He followed the slave back to the tunnel where two guards awaited and brought him back to his cell. There, he

stretched out on his pallet and stared at the ceiling. One by one, stone by stone, Gaidres set to work reconstructing the walls that kept Kerses and his other life confined. Only in dreams did he let them free. And if, occasionally, Caelius and his strange ways drifted into his thoughts, Gaidres ignored them. He had no care for the man or his baffling behavior. His goal remained. Kill him. Perhaps then the gods would decide he’d served his penance for failing to protect the man he loved.

Chapter Seven Caelius seethed with frustration by the time he’d finished seeing to Valeriana’s demands. He understood a part of her discomfort was from the grueling heat in addition to the burden she carried, but he could not give her everything she wished. Not when the demands became that of a spoiled child instead of a woman grown. It made him feel guilty to deny her and he knew she sought that reaction so she could try to manipulate him a little more. He thought they had understood each other well when they’d pledged to marry. She wanted to be joined with a man of his money and influence, and he’d wanted an heir and the standing such marriages brought to the political arena. Valeriana had known his tastes ran to men, not women. She’d welcomed the idea that she wouldn’t have his constant attentions. And now she claimed she wanted a divorce, which he just might grant her once the babe was born. Though, in all likelihood, the thought of going back to her father’s would soon change her mind. Nor would her family allow a divorce and lose their chance to grasp more money from him. The truth was, she was better off with him, despite the fact that he did not dote on her as she wished. “Perhaps a walk would clear your mind.” Felix intercepted him as he left Valeriana’s quarters. He gave Felix a grateful look. “Join me, please, I need the sound of a voice that speaks reason.” “I will have to remind you of that the next time we

disagree on something, Dominus.” Felix clasped his hands behind his back. Despite the jest in his voice, his manner seemed serious. Caelius found himself walking down the long walkway to the balcony overlooking the courtyard. He could hear the clash of weapon against weapon before it came into view. He told himself that he merely wanted to see how the men were faring with their new equipment, but knew it for the lie it was. He wanted to see Gaidres. “Somehow, I am not surprised that we find ourselves here,” Felix said in a dry voice. “I confess, my friend, that I have a hard time getting the man out of my thoughts.” Caelius rested his hands on the balcony and looked down at Gaidres. It had been a week since he’d laid eyes on him last. He had not sent for Gaidres, had left him in peace, but the man didn’t see fit to do the same for him in return. He found his thoughts returning to Gaidres often and not just as he lay in bed at night. No, Gaidres entered his mind even when going over documents with Felix or rendering an opinion in the courts. And it vexed Caelius that he couldn’t get one man out of his thoughts. And what could he say in the face of such anguish as Gaidres had shown him? Mere words were inadequate. There was nothing he could do to comfort that would not cause more pain. Why did Gaidres arouse such tender feelings inside him? Lust, Caelius understood, not this aching for him. “I have not said anything before, Dominus, and I do not

intend to pry, but I think you need to have more care with that one. I’ve seen that he is a man of strong passions, most of them dark.” Felix’s expression was troubled. “He has more than enough reason for that,” Caelius murmured. It was no wonder Gaidres’s hatred ran so strong. One question had been answered to Caelius’s satisfaction though. Gaidres was not a criminal, sentenced to serve and die in the ludus. No, he had been taken by those with more greed than sense. He’d been taken through the actions of Caelius’s own family. “I need in some small way to make it just.” Caelius did not elaborate further. That wasn’t his story to tell. “Caelius, I will be blunt.” Felix turned toward him. He rarely used his name so it spoke to how serious he was to do so now. “You cannot fix everything. Some people are beyond saving. I do not wish to see any part of you hurt. Think on that.” Before Caelius could respond, Felix took his leave. Caelius found his eyes drawn back to one man. Gaidres sparred with Marius, the strikes and counterstrikes coming so quick that the weapons seemed almost a blur as the doctoré looked on and barked commands. By Jupiter, Gaidres was breathtaking to watch. He moved as if he had been born to hold a sword in his hand. Muscles slick with sweat gleamed in the sun and rippled as he lunged and parried. Caelius knew Gaidres didn’t want death only for himself.

He’d made that clear before and Caelius wondered what had held Gaidres back from killing him already if he truly had a death wish. He’d shown some leadership with the other men. Maybe he didn’t want the ludus to go back to the state it had been in with Craxus when it went to another master if Caelius was slain. After several minutes, the doctoré stopped the bout and spoke with both men, no doubt critiquing their efforts. He then switched the other men around so they were fighting in groups now. Two men having to work together against another team. Caelius stood out there and watched, not paying any attention to the passing of time until Felix returned. “Dominus, there is a courier here to see you.” “I’ll meet with him in a moment.” Caelius’s eyes remained on Gaidres as he tried to understand the tangle of emotions inside him. It was a hopeless case. Then Gaidres’s eyes lifted and their gazes caught and it sparked something inside Caelius. Not only lust, though he would have liked to attribute that warm feeling to lust, but more. Gaidres looked at him with those eyes that seemed to touch places inside him. He frowned, turning away, and told himself that he wouldn’t waste time watching anymore. Deep down he knew it for a lie. “Who is the courier from?” he asked Felix as he walked away, his mind only half on his scribe’s answer. The other half he left behind, still watching Gaidres in his thoughts.

“You’re a fool.” Gaidres’s head lifted and he scowled at Demos across the table. “And you’re the bastard son of a jackal. Your purpose in stating what is already known?” Demos rolled his eyes. “You ignore the good fortune laid at your feet. Dominus desires you. You have no disdain to lying with a man, as we both know. So why deny yourself both the pleasure, of which we’ve all heard rumors, and the benefits to be gained by his favor?” Gaidres’s scowl darkened and he set down his bread. “What do you mean? What rumor has told of any pleasure, mine or his?” Demos chuckled. “Save your concern. Hierocles made mention of the sounds that filled the villa during times you were ‘reporting’ to Dominus. If it is pleasure so great as it sounded, why avoid it so? Is he cruel?” Gaidres shook his head. “No.” “Deformed under his robes?” “No.” “Does he desire unnatural things?” He hesitated, because some would consider Caelius’s desire to be penetrated by a slave unnatural, but shook his head. “No.” “Then wh—” “Because I choose to, Demos. By the gods, cease!” Gaidres slammed down his bowl. Demos glared at him. “Fine. Apologies, I meant no

offense.” He shoved away from the table and moved to another. Gaidres sighed, bending over his meal and scowling at the scarred tabletop. Caelius and their time together seemed inescapable. The man had taken to watching practices every afternoon, though in truth it was Gaidres he watched so intently. Even in his own thoughts Gaidres could not escape him. At the least opportune time, a flash of memory would hit him. A hint of Caelius’s scent on the air as the breeze caught it from the balcony where he watched. A brief vision of the man on his knees, dark eyes hungry, looking up at Gaidres when he was in the baths. Everywhere and anywhere, even when he wasn’t. It drove Gaidres mad. And at night, when he lay in his cell, a shaft of moonlight filtering in from the high, small window, Gaidres would find himself reaching down to relieve the need caused from spending each day surrounded by Caelius’s presence. The sound of voices, faint, caught his attention. He rose from the table, moving to the doorway leading to the practice courtyard. Light spilled from the balcony as Caelius and his ever-present scribe stood overlooking the yard and spoke in low tones. Gaidres leaned against the wall and watched. He couldn’t make out the words, but he didn’t care what they were saying. He found himself unable to look away, as usual when Caelius was within sight. It made for difficult practice sessions and more cracks of Doctoré’s whip than Gaidres cared to taste.

Caelius turned, as if sensing his stare and though Gaidres couldn’t make out his face with the light behind him, Gaidres knew Caelius saw him. Gaidres didn’t turn away for a long moment, and then straightened, nodding in his direction before turning and disappearing back inside. It seemed this night would be no different than the last weeks. He was beginning to tire of the company of his own hand and almost wondered if perhaps Demos wasn’t right. Perhaps Gaidres was a fool. Scowling, Gaidres strode back into the ludus, bypassing the other gladiators and heading back to his cell. He kicked the door shut and a few seconds later a metal scrape told him the guards had decided he was retiring for the night and locked it. This was his life. Gaidres dropped onto his cot, one arm under his head, glaring at the ceiling. He couldn’t keep his mind from Caelius. It was not as if he missed the man. His body craved relief, that was all. Gaidres reached his free hand down and jerked open the fabric of his subligar, cock already half-hard in anticipation. He exhaled and closed his eyes as he began to stroke. As always, thoughts of Kerses filled his mind and he sifted through the memories before settling on one. His mind’s eye wandered, seeing the home they shared in the dark of night, their bedroom, their bed, and Kerses stretched out on his stomach, skin bare and inviting in the shadows as Gaidres approached. Gaidres climbed onto the bed, crouching over him, cock nudging the smooth, firm curve of his lover’s ass. He smiled and bent to nuzzle the nape of the other man’s neck. He

smelled, oddly, of fine oils and spice, making Gaidres’s cock swell even harder. “Wake, beloved.” Gaidres urged sleek thighs to part for him, nestled his cock between the warm cheeks of the most beautiful ass he’d ever seen. His hands roamed over the other man’s skin, slightly damp with sweat from the sweltering summer heat. “Sleep is for those who know not the pleasures we do.” His lover laughed. “Ever of the silver tongue, you are,” came a sleep-husky voice. Gaidres grinned and gave the other man’s neck a sharp bite. “Lift your ass, my love, and I’ll show you the skills of my tongue yet again.” In his cell, Gaidres’s hand stroked faster, breath shaky as his dream lover did just what he’d asked, lifting his round ass in silent offering. Gaidres groaned and squeezed his eyes shut as his hand worked furiously on his cock. Gaidres began to work his way down his lover’s body, tongue following the line of his back, the salt of his skin sharp. “You are so beautiful.” He lifted his head, looking down. Fine golden skin, lean muscles, dark curls… Gaidres’s brows knit, as he sensed something was not as it should be. “What do you wait for, my love?” his lover asked, turning his head. Caelius looked at him, dark eyes filled with longing. “I am yours.” He cursed, sitting up in his cot, cock still raging hard as he panted and glanced around. The fantasy was gone, and Gaidres’s heart raced. Was there no escaping his Roman

lover? Guilt warred with the frustration. How long had his fantasy lover been Caelius and not Kerses? He dropped back on the bed, ignoring his aching cock. Despite its condition, the last thing he wanted was release. He wanted control of his own thoughts. But, like everything else in his life, it seemed Caelius controlled him there, as well. Why was it so difficult to remain furious with him, then? Caelius frowned as he watched the slaves spar in the marketplace, the doctoré by his side as they observed the mock battle. The month had passed and, as Gaidres had predicted, Hierocles, Aemilius and Ianuarius had not recovered. By this point, they would not. And Caelius had been forced to take them out of the ludus. He’d kept his promise to Gaidres, though. He’d found work for Ianuarius in his household. Aemilius had been harder to place, as he had fallen in love with a slave girl Craxus had sold some months ago. It had taken a bit of negotiating, but they were now reunited and Aemilius had a new master. Hierocles had been most vocal over his new situation and in the end Caelius had allowed him to remain in the ludus to continue tending the weapons and serving his former fellow gladiators. He wasn’t sure it was the best decision, but Hierocles had seemed so angry over leaving. He’d only settled down after Caelius had conceded. “What of the Nubian, Dominus?” The doctoré indicated

the slave before them. Muscles flowed under dark skin and the man had a fierce expression as he came forward and lowered his eyes. There was a pride in him that reminded Caelius of his lion. “Was he taken in a raid?” Caelius asked in aside to Felix. He may not be able to take back what had happened to Gaidres. But after Gaidres’s tale, he couldn’t bring himself to give profit to those who engaged in such activities. Felix blinked in surprise. “I do not know, Dominus. I will inquire for you.” “Do that, please.” Felix slipped off as the doctoré gestured for the Nubian to turn around. “If I may speak freely, Dominus, he would be a prize to add to your ludus. He would give Marius and Rufus the competition they need.” “I will consider him, Doctoré. There are a few others I wish to see before I make my final decisions.” Caelius gestured to the slave as he turned around again. “What is your name?” “Kashta, Dominus.” He didn’t have the accent of other Nubians Caelius had heard. So not taken in a raid, then, or if so, very young. Though there was a fierce pride in him, Caelius didn’t sense any of the smoldering anger that so marked Gaidres. Well, there were many other ways to become a gladiator than through the raids. “How came you to be a gladiator?” Though he didn’t care for those taken in raids, neither did he want a murderer in his ludus. Not when the sparring was so rough

and tempers flared often. “My mother was a slave, Dominus, when they saw how I grew they entered me into the ludus of my previous master’s family.” That made sense. The man towered over the both of them. But he could not have been out of training long, not with his skin relatively unscarred. Felix returned to his side and confirmed Kashta’s story, though the Nubian seemed young to have gone through a gladiator school. He’d attend his first real games in whichever ludus took him. Caelius frowned again. He did not have the heart for such decisions but he wasn’t the type to leave important matters entirely in the hands of those around him. “I think you’re right, Doctoré, he will be a fine addition. Felix, see to it.” Caelius acknowledged Kashta with a tilt of his head, then turned to go look at other prospects. This whole business kept Gaidres in his thoughts. Kashta was a beautiful man in his own strange, exotic way and he hadn’t even stirred Caelius’s interest. If he hadn’t known beyond a doubt that it would have caused Gaidres pain he would have long since given in and sent for him again. But no matter how much he could awaken Gaidres’s desire, given what had happened to him at the hands of Romans, calling for him only would have pricked his hurt more, so Caelius let him be. Now if only Gaidres would return the kindness and leave Caelius be, in his thoughts and his dreams.

“Come…take your pleasure on me, my beautiful gladiator.” Gaidres startled awake, panting hard as he stared up at the ceiling and for a long moment wasn’t sure where he was. His cock throbbed under his subligar and he groaned, reaching down to adjust it. It was then, hand on cock and half-awake, that he realized…he’d dreamt of Caelius. Not Kerses. Guilt mixed with fury filled him and he surged to his feet, raking a hand through his hair. What was wrong with him? First Caelius crept into his thoughts as he pleasured himself, and now his dreams? No one had ever invaded his sleep before. No one had ever dared to take the only time when his former life and his love were still his. But Caelius…like the arrogant, self-assured Roman that he was, strode in and filled Gaidres’s mind with his honeyed words and sensual promises. Pushed away the laughing green eyes he clung to every night. The more he thought of it, the more angry he became. Caelius did this. Well, he would not stand for it! He would purge the man from his mind during waking hours so that the night could once again belong to its rightful owner. He strode to the door of his cell, grabbing the iron bars wedged into the wooden opening and rattling the door on its hinges. “Guard! Guard!” “Quiet, you!” Gaidres glared at the guard through the bars, all but hissing in rage. “I demand to see Dominus!”

“It’s the middle of the—” “Now!” He knew the guards had orders that he could call upon Caelius at any time, but it’d been a month since their last encounter and he could only hope they still stood. He couldn’t wait. He would never be able to sleep until he cleansed Caelius from his thoughts and blood. He dogged the heels of the guard as he was led into the villa, pacing as they stopped just outside Caelius’s chambers and the man proceeded to argue with the two guards on watch about whether or not to disturb the dominus. Gaidres was about to end the argument on his own by shoving past them when he heard movement from within the chamber. “What is it?” Caelius’s voice sounded sleepy, and flooded Gaidres’s mind with images of him warm and hazyeyed. His cock throbbed. “Apologies, Dominus, but the gladiator Argon insists on speaking with you now.” “You know my orders. Send him in.” Gaidres growled as he pushed past them into the chamber to find Caelius just rising, a sheet of silk wrapped around him. “Gaidres, what is—?” The question died on his lips as he seemed to recognize the need in Gaidres’s gaze and froze. The way Caelius’s eyes widened with thrilled desire told him that however far above Gaidres he was in status, it was beneath Gaidres that he wanted to be right then. Gaidres no longer bothered to give any false deference.

No nod or lowering of his eyes, only furious emotion. Caelius wet his lips, and Gaidres growled as he reached him and tore the sheet from his body, pushing him back on his rumpled bed. “Don’t disturb us,” Caelius gasped to the guards as Gaidres came down on the bed with him. Mouths met hard and Gaidres swallowed Caelius’s moan, plundering his mouth and then roughly turning Caelius over onto his stomach. “Gods, Gaidres…please.” Gaidres didn’t say a word, reaching for the oil kept beside the bed and sloshing some of it over Caelius’s upturned ass. He bent low over him, sucking and biting the man’s neck. Caelius pleaded and Gaidres gave him what he begged for, shoving aside his subligar and freeing his cock to rub against Caelius, prodding his eager hole. “Yes…yes, fuck me…” Caelius panted, rocking back against him and then letting out a rough, broken groan when Gaidres did exactly that. Gaidres surged forward, sinking into the tight grip of his body, and growled. He caged Caelius’s wrists, pinning him to the bed with his body, and thrust. Caelius’s fingers clenched, breath rushed from him as Gaidres filled him. He wasted no time, spared no moment for Caelius to adjust. The other man seemed not to care, eagerly lifting his hips and angling back to accept Gaidres’s rolling thrusts. He shoved his knees between Caelius’s thighs and forced them wide, opening him as much as possible and bracing himself for stronger thrusts. The man was so tight, tighter than a woman, tighter than Gaidres’s own fist in his

dark cell at night. Caelius felt every bit as wickedly pleasurable as he had before. For the first time Gaidres let himself enjoy every moment of their coupling…If he was going to purge Caelius from his dreams, best he get his fill while he did not yet sleep. Caelius writhed underneath him and begged for more of the unrelenting thrusts, which Gaidres was more than glad to give him. Were the situation different, Gaidres would be spilling over with obscene words, hissed endearments, demands. It went against his nature to hold them back, but he did. “Gaidres…gods…” Caelius moaned, clenching around him. He gripped Caelius’s wrists hard enough to leave marks, raked his teeth across the Roman’s neck. Caelius would feel this fucking for hours, if not days, afterward. “Gaidres…Gaidres…don’t stop…I beg you.” He had no intention of stopping, his breath coming in hard pants as he took Caelius He hadn’t realized how deep the need for release had become over the last month. That was all it was. That was what he told himself as the pleasure spiked through him like a bolt from the gods. He released one of Caelius’s hands, sliding his own down to grasp his hip and lift him to his knees. The punishing thrusts rocked them both and with each one now Caelius shouted, his one freed hand gripping the silk beneath him, other hand still caged by Gaidres’s fingers. “More…more, Gaidres by the gods…” That the man could even speak was a miracle, as Gaidres didn’t think he

could accomplish the same. He had no words, saying it all with his body as they surged and rocked and fucked like wild beasts. Abruptly, Gaidres withdrew, ignoring Caelius’s frantic, disappointed cry. He flipped the man to his back then, hiking Caelius’s leg high over his shoulder as he came down atop him and slid inside him again. Strong, longfingered hands clutched at his shoulders now that they were free and Caelius stared up at him, his dark eyes wide, looking at him like he was a god. He could get used to looks like that, after years of being nothing. The expression on Gaidres’s face struck Caelius to his core. Intense, holding back none of the raw pleasure as he had before, as if he had let go of the furies that hounded him long enough to truly enjoy this. Gaidres would find pleasure, but not ease for his soul, and Caelius longed to give it to him. Though, at the moment, there was nothing he could do at all, no words he could say anymore, only desperate, needy cries as his orgasm came screaming closer with each thrust. Caelius’s lips stung, his thighs ached and his lungs burned as if he wasn’t getting enough air. Caelius had thought that maybe he’d over-imagined his earlier reaction to Gaidres during the month-long drought he’d been without his lover. But he’d been wrong. If anything, the absence had only fueled the flames even hotter. He couldn’t stop the shudders with each snap of

Gaidres’s hips, or the pleas for more and harder as Gaidres rutted with him. He wanted it again and again until neither of them could move, only to wake up in a few hours to sate each other once more. He shouted Gaidres’s name, dug his fingers into the gladiator’s shoulders as he hooked his other leg over Gaidres’s hip. Closer and closer, still staring up into those wild blue eyes, feeling everything tumble out of control. Those rough hands on his body and, gods, Caelius melted inside. He couldn’t think as the hunger he’d been denying roared through him. He couldn’t even beg anymore, just cry out Gaidres’s name and look at him with pleading eyes. “Gaidres!” He growled, dropping his mouth to slant across Caelius’s in a devouring kiss and then reached between them to stroke him. He needn’t have bothered, because the moment their tongues tangled, Caelius came apart beneath him, groaning into his mouth as he came. It tore through him as Gaidres continued to ravage his mouth and then as the last ripples faded and he thought he had lost his mind, Gaidres’s own climax hit. The kiss broke as Gaidres rode it out, slamming into him with every throb of his cock before finally stilling, panting hard. For long moments they didn’t speak, they didn’t move. Gaidres’s face was buried in Caelius’s neck and Caelius didn’t remember how it got there. He liked how Gaidres nestled close and once again those soft emotions stirred inside him. Strange, tender feelings, and the want to soothe Gaidres’s battered soul.

Gaidres shifted against him, the scent of him overwhelming. Sweat and sex combined to make an aroma more arousing than anything that could be bottled. Caelius wasn’t the only one affected. Already Gaidres’s cock stirred, still buried inside him. He rolled his hips, and Caelius gasped. “I am not done with you, Dominus. Tonight you are mine.” Gaidres rolled his hips again, harder this time as his cock stirred even further. “Isn’t that what you long for? Tell me so.” Gaidres lifted his head, his gaze promising that he would take his pleasure as Caelius had requested in the past. He hoped his gladiator had gotten enough sleep the past month, because neither of them would get any this night. Caelius bit back the soft, broken cry of surrender, though from the gleam in Gaidres’s eyes he wasn’t successful. “It is what I long for.” And never had he had a lover who dared to make him his. He quivered as he realized that Gaidres wouldn’t hesitate any longer to take what he wanted. “Say it,” Gaidres demanded, eyes wicked as he rocked his hips again, making Caelius moan. “Please, Gaidres.” “Say it, Dominus.” Caelius couldn’t think. Too much, too soon and still Gaidres kept circling his hips, his cock swelling inside him, nudging against overly sensitive spots. “Tonight, I am yours.” And any other night Gaidres wanted. He shivered, crying out again as Gaidres let go of his

leg and the man’s mouth came down on Caelius’s throat. The shadow of his beard scraped against his skin and Caelius writhed underneath him, his breath catching. “Gaidres…a moment…” The air around them clung to their skin, thick with the heat of summer and the weight of their exertions. Gaidres rolled, tugging Caelius with him so that he was sprawled across the gladiator’s broad chest, the man’s cock now fully hard inside him. “No, Dominus, you wanted this.” His hands came down to Caelius’s hips. “Now ride me.” Caelius stared down at him and then determination filled him as he decided to make Gaidres as wild as the man made him. There was a quick flash in Gaidres’s eyes, as if he wondered whether he’d miscalculated, but before he could change his mind Caelius braced his hands on Gaidres’s chest, clenched his inner muscles and did just as he’d been told. Rode. Gaidres’s head fell back against the bed, eyes closing with a long, loud groan. His fingers tightened on Caelius’s hips and aided his slow movements. He looked like something sent from a dream. “Like this, Gaidres?” Gaidres opened his eyes and nodded, licking his lips. “Like that, Dominus.” Caelius shuddered and leaned low over him, their faces close, their breath hot as it mingled. Gaidres slid his arms around him and Caelius enjoyed the decadent, delicious feel of sweat-slick bodies moving together, so tangled that he could not tell where one ended and the other began.

“Just…like…that…” Gaidres gasped, lifting his head to claim Caelius’s lips in a kiss as hot as the air around them. He had no trouble surrendering his body into his gladiator’s strong hands. The difficulty lay with knowing that Caelius’s heart may follow. And surely allowing his foolish emotions to tumble at this man’s feet would be the worst idea he ever had. Caelius couldn’t help the small shiver inside at the idea, though. How exciting to love a man like Gaidres. His body was still singing from his intense orgasm and every time Gaidres sank into him so slow, Caelius fell a little further under the gladiator’s spell. Pleasure coiled tighter inside him with every twist of his hips, every breathy moan into Gaidres’s mouth. When the kiss broke, he panted against Gaidres’s lips, struggling to regain his equilibrium. Then Gaidres’s mouth was on his neck and Caelius was lost. He cried out, writhing against him. “Gaidres…please.” “Say it again, Dominus,” Gaidres said in a rough voice. “Please.” Caelius arched his throat, giving Gaidres free access, and shuddered with every new sensation that racked his body. His hands slid over Gaidres’s skin, touching, memorizing every line and angle of him. “Please, more.” Gaidres nipped along Caelius’s collarbone, his tongue soothing the stinging bites as he rolled his hips up to meet each downward thrust. He seemed to be in no rush, no hurry to finish, and determined to flood himself with Caelius now, to sate the desire that raged out of control until it

abated. Only Caelius wasn’t sure anymore that it would abate. At least not for him.

Chapter Eight Gaidres stared at Caelius, mind spinning. It was dark, and shadows clung to Caelius’s naked body. The faint light of a nearly gutted candle beside the bed did nothing to chase the shadows away. He should kill the man. Now, while he had the chance, before anyone could stop him. A knife lay beside the table as well, where bread and cheese left from the meal they’d shared sat on a tray. It would be so easy. Caelius would never even know. A quick slice across his vulnerable throat, faintly marked with the abrasion from Gaidres’s whiskers…He would just never wake up. No pain, no betrayal in his dark eyes from knowing Gaidres had done it. It had been three weeks since he had come storming into this chamber determined to fuck the man until he no longer consumed Gaidres’s every thought. Caelius had a wicked side he never hesitated to indulge. He did things that Gaidres had only heard of, and did them with such abandon. Three weeks of daily, nightly, sometimes it seemed hourly, sex, and yet…the near-obsession had not eased. The dreams haunted him. He could not remember when last he’d dreamt of Kerses. Every time he closed his eyes he saw this man beside him. His plan seemed to be making things worse. Gaidres hadn’t thought it possible, but he desired Caelius more now than he had then. Rather than cutting it off, indulging the fast-growing weeds of this obsession had led

to such an infestation of his mind, his dreams, his thoughts, that he wondered what god he might have angered to do this to him. He should just kill the man. Caelius had stopped requiring the presence of a slave in his room and at this time of night the guard outside his door would be less vigilant. He’d never have a better opportunity. Gaidres began to stretch across and reach for the knife, when a sudden flurry of activity outside caught his attention. “Dominus!” A guard, and Gaidres snatched his hand back, heart pounding. Caelius sat up, glancing at him as he did his best not to look guilty. He wondered if Caelius might somehow be able to see his disloyal thoughts. “What is it?” The guard entered, head lowered. “It is Domina. Her time is here, and the babe comes.” Caelius leaped to his feet as a slave came into the room to help wind a robe around him. There was something about the guard’s demeanor that sent alarm through Gaidres. All was not well, that much was clear. Caelius seemed to know it too, his face taut with strain. “What is wrong? When did it start?” “Several hours ago, Dominus. There’s bleeding and she is weakening. The medicus fears for both her and the babe.” “Why wasn’t I told the babe was coming?” Caelius snapped, worry lacing his voice. The guard cast an embarrassed glance at the bed and

lowered his head even more. “You’d given orders not to be disturbed, Dominus.” Caelius cursed, then turned to Gaidres. “Don’t leave, please.” Gaidres didn’t even have a chance to acknowledge him before Caelius was gone from the room and Gaidres sank down on the bed with a sigh. He had lost his chance. He could have ended the house of Laraniia once and for all time tonight, for it seemed as though the babe and Caelius’s wife were not going to make it through the night. Would he come to look back on this night and curse himself for not doing what had to be done? Those thoughts kept him company as he waited for Caelius to return. Caelius raced for the wing where he’d placed Valeriana after her hysterics. Before he reached her doorway he could hear the sound of her sobs, reedy with exhaustion. Guilt and fear lodged in his throat. He pushed his way through the doorway and the crowd of women about the bed, horror striking him as he saw the amount of blood staining the sheets. Valeriana’s pale curls clung to her cheeks and neck, her skin almost translucent from her ordeal. “Dominus, you shouldn’t be here.” Helene, his old nurse, stepped in his path and gave his chest a gentle shove. “Go, I will send for you when there is news. The medicus will tend to her.” “Caelius.”

At the sound of his name, Caelius stepped around Helene and sat down on the edge of the bed, taking Valeriana’s limp hand in his. There was a chill in her flesh, but at his touch her weak sobbing ceased and she turned pain-glazed eyes on him. “I’m here. You must save your strength, Valeriana.” “I…I didn’t think…you’d come.” The whisper was so faint and his wife’s eyes fluttered closed. “I should’ve been here sooner.” Caelius’s heart seized with fear. It seemed that every flicker of life had fled from her. “Valeriana, you’re stronger than this.” “Dominus!” Helene seized his shoulders and turned him toward her, her expression grim. “It is too late. There isn’t much time for the medicus to cut the babe free. Go stand over there if you must stay!” Dazed, Caelius backed off, unable to believe what was happening as his wife was once again surrounded and the medicus rushed back to her side. She was gone. She couldn’t be gone. Now his babe could go with her. His eyes stung as he turned, helpless, searching for something to do and he began to pray to every god ever named, in hopes one would hear him and spare his child. It seemed hours, but couldn’t have been because the sky was still dark when Caelius returned to his chambers. The awful news must have showed in his expression because Gaidres rose from the couch and took a step forward. “Dominus?” He glanced uncertainly at the doorway, as if

wondering if he ought to go. “Apologies, Gaidres. I should have sent you back…” Caelius slumped on the couch and Gaidres frowned, moving closer. “She is gone.” Gaidres looked as if he’d suspected as much, and was unsure how to respond. “I grieve for you, Dominus. The child?” “He lives, though weakened from his ordeal.” Caelius searched Gaidres’s face, guilt and need fighting a brutal war inside him. His wife had been dying and he’d been unaware, lingering with this man in his bed. Yet the thought of sending him away tore Caelius up inside even more than Valeriana’s passing which only made the guilt that much worse. “Helene assures me that he has bonded with his wet-nurse and sleeps comfortably. We should know by morn whether he strengthens or weakens further.” “Dominus, wouldn’t you rather be with your son right now? I can return to my cell.” Gaidres frowned. Caelius reached out and caught Gaidres’s hand, shaking his head in denial. “Please stay, I…I do not wish to wait alone.” He looked at Gaidres with pleading eyes. He needed the contact, though he’d understand if Gaidres didn’t want to stay. “Helene sent me back here to wait.” He knew he must sound like a babbling fool, but he could not seem to make himself be quiet. “My old nurse is the only one other than you who dares to lay hands on me and give me orders.” Gaidres sat beside him on the couch, and Caelius fell silent, turning anguished dark eyes on Gaidres.

“I failed her.” Gaidres looked down, and it occurred to Caelius that his words must bring him remembered pain. His eyes stung. He did not wish to remind Gaidres of his own hurts. “I understand how that feels, Dominus.” He shook his head and looked up at him. “Sorrow for your loss. But your son lives. The gods look with favor upon you in that, do they not?” He gave Gaidres a faint smile and nodded. “They do.” “Perhaps it’s best to focus on that. Surely his mother would want you to care for him as best you can rather than grieve. Honor her in raising him to be a strong, good man.” Valeriana would want him to grieve because that would’ve meant Caelius had cared. It was his own failing that he had been unable to show her that he had, in his own way, just not the way in which she wished. It hadn’t been enough. Still, she had been a proud woman, perhaps too proud, and she had wanted her children to be of his house and no other. “I have no intention of raising him any other way.” Caelius hoped that he would do half as well as his own father. Caelius turned to Gaidres and brushed his fingers over his cheek. It had been an impulse to ask him to stay. He had not expected to find any comfort from him, and to receive it was another blessing from the gods. “I know you understand.” Though Gaidres’s pain and loss made his own seem pale in comparison. “And I thank you.” “Your gratitude is not necessary, Dominus.” Gaidres

looked uncomfortable with the situation. Caelius wanted him to stay and wait with him until dawn, but was loath to ask. He knew how much seeing him stirred Gaidres up and brought back painful memories. Sometimes he wondered why the man came to him at all, though he, for one, did not want the visits to stop. “If you wish to go back, you may. I fear there will be little sleep in this room tonight.” Not while he was waiting and agonizing. Gaidres pushed to his feet and turned to go. Caelius laid his elbows on his knees, slumping his head in his hands and trying not to think about the rest of the night stretching out before him. The sound of Gaidres moving back toward him had him lifting his head again in confusion. Gaidres turned to the table and reached for the bottle of wine and two cups. Relief flowed through Caelius. He did not know why Gaidres had changed his mind but was glad of it. His lover carried the wine and the cups to the bed and sat, holding out one of the cups to Caelius. “Come. Drink. We will wait together for word of your child’s health.” Caelius pushed to his feet to join him. “You would do this for me?” Gaidres met his gaze as Caelius sat and took the proffered wine. “No man should be alone with his own thoughts at a time such as this. Best to muddle them with wine.” Gaidres paused, seeming to cast about for a conversation that might distract him. “The new men are settling in well. More than a few show great promise.” Caelius seized upon the topic with relief. “I had hopes

they would, though I’m sure that new blood in any ludus stirs things up. Have there been any struggles with the men seeking to come out on top?” It was to be expected. A gladiator was a fighting man, always seeking to be the best. “Some, though Doctoré is not one to let matters slip out of control. He channels the aggression in practice. It is hard to start a fight if one is worn out from the day’s training.” Gaidres took a sip of wine, his eyes faraway, and Caelius wondered where his thoughts were. He used the moment to study the man, who claimed to hate all Romans, yet sat beside him this night. Especially now when anxiety and guilt were a storm in his heart. The sight of Gaidres sitting next to him, knowing he chose to stay, filled him with warmth even as it made the guilt worse. He’d never been so drawn to a person. “And the equipment? Your doctoré is not afraid to request what he needs and for that I’m grateful.” Gaidres turned to Caelius, his eyes solemn. “The new equipment is the finest quality, Dominus. Gratitude.” “Good, very good. Too long this ludus has sat wasted, and you and the other men with it. I will not let that remain the case.” With another several months, it would be possible for the men to compete in the arena again. “It is not, Dominus. Soon I am sure we will be ready to battle on the sands once again. And our victory will repay your generosity.” Caelius hesitated at that, glancing down at his cup and

then back up at Gaidres. “I would remove you from the ludus and the battles. I have lost my wife and may yet lose my son…” Caelius sighed and met Gaidres’s eyes. “I would not lose you if I could help it.” Gaidres tensed, shaking his head. “No. I ask you do not, Dominus. The arena is all I have, all I know anymore.” And the only way he might be parted from this world without having to do the deed himself, Caelius thought. Death ad gladium would probably be welcome for him. “My apologies, Gaidres. I know your feelings on the matter. It is your choice to fight and I’ll not bring it up again.” Caelius touched his hand and some of Gaidres’s tension eased. “But if you ever change your mind, I—” “I won’t, Dominus. Not ever.” Caelius bit back his sigh and refilled their wineglasses. He didn’t want to anger Gaidres or pick at wounds that had never healed. “It is still some months away, but I had thought to open the ludus for the Lupercalia festival. It is a grand enough occasion to show off everything that has been accomplished.” “We will be ready, that I swear.” The rest of Gaidres’s tension left him now that Caelius spoke of matters the gladiator was interested in. “You’ll have a ludus that will bring pride and glory to the House of Laraniia.” Pride and glory, two concepts that Caelius didn’t understand and had no real wish for. They seemed to be all that Gaidres would allow himself. Caelius measured pride in other ways and as for glory, everything he’d ever heard of

glory said that it had been won off the blood and tears of other men. All the goals he had nurtured seemed petty this night, and the path he had laid out for himself had gotten tangled in a labyrinth in his mind. “With men such as you, I do not doubt it for one moment.” What he did doubt was whether it was worth the cost. “Tell me, Gaidres, do you still desire my blood on your hands?” He didn’t answer right away and Caelius was relieved he was giving the question true consideration instead of just denying it outright. He could trust then, that Gaidres might be more forthcoming. “I do,” Gaidres admitted. He drew a breath, just realizing he’d been holding it in. It was the truth. Though he wondered about Gaidres’s ability to follow through if he had not done so yet. He’d had many chances, especially when Caelius slept beside him, and he’d done nothing. But Gaidres would not lie. He didn’t respond for a moment, tipping back his wine and looking away in thought. After a moment he met Gaidres’s gaze. “I respect your honesty. Most would not be so sincere.” Gaidres’s eyes narrowed. “What are you going to do?” No doubt the gladiator expected retribution. He should not let such an admission lie unanswered. To do so would be folly of the greatest kind. “For now? I believe you an honorable man, Gaidres, and so for now I would simply ask your word that you will not kill me this night. Wait for another night. There has been

enough blood spilled, I think.” Gaidres considered the request and then nodded. “My word, Dominus.” “My gratitude in return. I…” Caelius paused, searching for the words, somehow knowing Gaidres would understand why he could not ignore his threat anymore, if he just figured out how to phrase it. “I had no care for the danger, or perhaps I was too foolish. What matter if I lived or died? But now I’d not leave my son alone.” “You need not explain yourself to me, Dominus.” Gaidres’s brows furrowed as he looked at him. “In truth, given what I just said, I do not understand why you do not call for my head.” Caelius set down his wineglass and leaned back against the cushions. “You have cause to hate, my gladiator, and as I said, I have no wish for more blood to be spilt. If I killed every man who wished for my death, I fear the list would be long. I’d be no better than the ones I oppose.” He laughed, shaking his head and pouring another cup, which did little to soothe the ache inside him. “This must be the strangest conversation I have ever had.” “I would have to agree. Every time I think I understand you, you surprise me.” Gaidres reached over and handed Caelius a piece of bread. “You should put something in your stomach, else you’ll be sick. There are more pleasant things to think of than death. What are you going to name your son?” Caelius picked at the bread. He had no real appetite, but he couldn’t afford to be too muddleheaded in the

morning. There would be too much to see to. “I chose a name, but given everything that has happened, it doesn’t suit. I think perhaps now I will name him Faustus.” Gaidres’s lips curved in approval. “He is indeed fortunate. It is a good name, Dominus.” Caelius smiled wearily at him. “How is it with barely any effort at all, you somehow raise my spirits after a night such as this?” He didn’t know the answer to that. “I am glad of it, Dominus.” And strangely…he was. He took the empty cup from Caelius and set it aside. “Come. Lie with me. I would stay with you till dawn, Dominus. If you would have me here.” Whatever else he was, Caelius was a decent man who had lost his wife this night. He did not deserve to be alone with his pain. “I would.” Caelius looked so relieved by the offer that Gaidres was able to ignore the little voice telling him he was getting too close. It seemed awkward to be there. This was a private time between a man and the memory of his wife. But when he glanced up and met Caelius’s eyes, he was glad he’d stayed. The man looked like hell, blood staining the front of his robes, face weary. He knew they had fought often, Caelius and his wife, but at the same time he knew Caelius had not wished death upon her. Gaidres couldn’t help but think of Kerses then and his head lowered. How could a Roman, a man he was meant to hate, make him feel such

sympathy? But oh, he knew that feeling. The guilt. The crushing responsibility for the death of the person you were meant to protect. Some part of him could not leave the man like that. In pain. Afraid. He had never seen Caelius so vulnerable. Caelius glanced down at his robes, covered in blood, and rose from the bed. “A moment, Gaidres. Let me clean up first.” Gaidres nodded and watched as he shed his ruined clothes and washed at the basin. Then he donned a simple tunic before turning back to Gaidres. “Come, Dominus.” Gaidres held out his hand. Caelius crossed to him, taking his hand, and let Gaidres tug him down on the bed. He twisted back to douse the lamp, plunging the room into darkness save for the moonlight slicing in through the large window on the opposite wall. When he turned back, he hesitated before drawing Caelius against himself and tugging a light blanket up over them both. Caelius tilted his head back to look up at him, dark eyes seeming edged in silver from the moonlight. “There is kindness in you, my gladiator. Soft edges one would never expect.” He sighed as he laid his head upon Gaidres’s chest. “I find it a charming surprise.” “I was not always a gladiator, Dominus.” Caelius stroked his fingers along Gaidres’s arm. “No, I suppose you were not. I would dare say you have always been an enigma, however.” Gaidres shook his head with a light snort. “I am as

simple as they come.” Caelius laughed, tilting his head back again. “If you are simple, Gaidres, then I would not want to see what you believe to be complicated.” Gaidres could tell Caelius’s mind was scattered. So much had happened and he hadn’t slept more than an hour. Gaidres turned, their faces very close on the pillows. “Sleep, Caelius. All will be well in the morning.”

Chapter Nine Caelius shifted Faustus in his arms as Felix droned on about the funeral arrangements. The babe had the shape of Valeriana’s face and mouth, but the wisps of curling hair on his head were black and his eyes had remained dark. “Dominus, if we are leaving as soon as you wish, I must get him ready for his first journey.” Helene cut into his thoughts, holding out her arms for Faustus. “And you need to take some rest yourself before you fall ill. You do not need to oversee every task.” Surprised by the scolding, Caelius handed over Faustus without argument and then passed a weary hand over his eyes. “My apologies. You were saying, Felix?” His scribe and friend regarded him for a moment as if he wanted to say something else, but then he picked up his slate again. “I was saying that all the funeral arrangements have been made, Domina rests at your villa in Caere. All that waits is your arrival, Dominus.” “Helene assures me that Faustus has gained strength. We shall leave at dawn,” Caelius decided. “I do not wish a large group. You, Helene, the wet nurse and a few trusted to see to our needs on the way to the villa.” “What of Nikodemos for your personal guard?” Caelius almost agreed and then hesitated. He wanted Gaidres. Lying in his lover’s arms awakened such a need in him that he ached with it. There were many reasons why he shouldn’t take Gaidres. The man wished to kill him. Though after seeing that softer side to him, Caelius had a

hard time believing he would go through with it. Not after Gaidres had tried to ease his pain. And the sound of his name on Gaidres’s lips that night, without having to ask him to use it…Caelius’s breath had caught and the ache in his chest had intensified. The sound had been so sweet to his ears and he realized how much he’d come to care for this man who carried so much pain inside him. But to speak of those feelings would only drive him away. “You think of Argon again.” Caelius cast Felix a quick glance and then shrugged in admission. “Am I so obvious?” “You are, Dominus.” Felix hesitated, then set his slate down. “And it becomes more evident each day. He has a hold on you.” “Perhaps.” Gaidres was not for him, however. His lion’s heart belonged to another and that was something Caelius would have to accept. Caelius hadn’t sent for him since then, though he hadn’t been able to stay away completely. The brief conversations each day, under the guise of Gaidres reporting on the men’s progress, were not enough. He missed his lover, despite the fact that Caelius strove to ignore his feelings. “You think me foolish to have one man occupy my thoughts so much.” “No, not foolish. Besotted, Dominus. Yet I realize that will not stop you.” Felix flashed him a gentle smile. “It is interesting to see this side of you. Take Argon if it pleases you to do so.”

“His true name is Gaidres. It is how I would have him addressed in Caere.” He would take Gaidres if he’d agree to come. “Hold on Nikodemos and send for my gladiator. Let me speak with him before I make my decision.” Gaidres glanced up as Hierocles appeared beside him, his face tense. “You are summoned.” His voice was taut and Gaidres wondered what concerned him. He would have asked, but before he could speak, the other man turned and began to walk away, leaving Gaidres to follow. “Is it well with you, Hierocles?” He caught up to the older man. Hierocles cast him a quick look, jaw tightening. “All is well.” “Your new duties suit you, then?” There was a brief pause, then Hierocles shrugged. “Dominus is generous.” “He is. I am glad you are well.” There was no time for more talk as they approached Caelius’s chamber and Hierocles stopped, gesturing Gaidres on. Gaidres gave him a nod and ducked through the curtains, eyes lowering to the floor. “Dominus.” Caelius approached, reaching out to take Gaidres’s forearm, and drew him farther into the room. “Come. Share the evening meal with me. I would speak with you on an important matter.”

“As you wish, Dominus.” He let Caelius lead him over to the dining couches. It wasn’t until they were comfortable with laden plates and wine at hand that Caelius spoke. “I would ask a favor of you, Gaidres.” Gaidres’s gaze lifted from the floor. A favor? What could Caelius possibly want that he could provide? Other than his cock, of course. “Ask it, Dominus.” “Would you swear to me not to seek my life this eve?” He hesitated. Caelius had asked that before and he had given his word. One day, though, he wouldn’t be able to make any promises. That would be the day he did what he had to. “I do swear.” Caelius smiled and took a sip of his wine. He didn’t say anything and after another moment, Gaidres broke the silence. “Dominus,” Gaidres began and then paused, setting down his goblet. “You haven’t sent for me in many nights. Have I offended you?” He’d thought of Caelius often, wondering how he was since Valeriana’s death, how the babe fared. Why he cared, Gaidres did not know. Perhaps because he’d always had a fondness for the little ones, a fondness Kerses had encouraged. His lover used to laugh at the way the children of their village would follow him around, wanting Gaidres to play swords with them. His concern over the babe did not bother him as much as the concern he felt for Caelius. Over the past days he’d found himself almost worrying over the man. Wondering if he was eating

properly, getting enough rest, who—if anyone—was comforting him. It was unsettling. “Not at all,” Caelius replied. “It has been a difficult period and I did not wish to burden you. But I am leaving for a time and I wish to have you travel with me as my personal guard. This is a request, not an order.” He glanced down for a moment, startled, and then back up to meet Caelius’s eyes. “Why would you request me as your guard when I have told you I would see you dead?” It was foolishness. “I trust that you, of all others, would protect me best.” “For what reason would I?” Caelius shrugged one shoulder. “I do not think you would allow another to take my life before you could do so yourself. And for that reason I think you would keep me safe with far more zeal than another…for you it would be personal.” Gaidres did not understand how Caelius could be so calm, sitting there discussing Gaidres’s wish to see him dead. And yet the man appeared not at all perturbed. “Where do you go?” “To my villa outside Caere. Valeriana is to be cremated there, near her family, and Helene has suggested that the villa there would be a more suitable place for Faustus. He grows stronger every day, but he is still weak.” “And for how long do you intend to stay?” It had been a very long time since he’d been anywhere that was not a ludus or an arena. “A month, perhaps a bit more,” Caelius replied. The way

he said it told Gaidres Caelius wished for longer. “A month is long time to be away from the ludus, Dominus. The others would train without me. How would I compete with them when I returned?” He missed the crowd, the rush of battle. It wasn’t bringing death that he loved. It was the battle itself. It was a way to vent his fury, and glory in the arena also meant privileges outside of it. “There will be more than enough opportunities for you to train and opponents for you to test your skills against, I promise.” Caelius pushed aside his plate, his face weary. “A guard trains in much the same manner as a gladiator does. I do not wish to rob you of your one desire, Gaidres. I’ll not keep you permanently from the ludus.” Gaidres considered it, reaching out to push Caelius’s plate back in front of him. “Then I would be able to train with the other guards while we are away?” Caelius’s lips curved into a wistful smile as he began to eat again. “You would. Does this mean you will agree to come?” Gaidres hesitated another moment, then nodded. “I will.” Caelius was right. Gaidres would protect his life with everything in him, if only so he would not be robbed of his own vengeance, should he ever find his courage again and fulfill the deed he had set upon three years earlier. Soon, he told himself. Perhaps in Caere the opportunities would be greater. He ignored the whispering little voice in the back of his mind reminding him how many opportunities he’d had so far. And asking what of Faustus, was the babe not also of the Laraniia line? Gaidres shoved that thought away

immediately. The babe was innocent. He shook his head free of the troublesome thoughts and focused on Caelius. He sighed at the way the other man picked at his meal. “You need to eat better. And you look like the underworld spit you out.” Caelius chuckled, sounding weary. He had changed greatly, no longer the saucy, quick to laugh dominus Gaidres had come to expect. He was…soft. Vulnerable. It made Gaidres feel strange. It brought to mind all the thoughts and concerns about this man he’d spent the past few days and nights trying unsuccessfully to ignore. He had more and more difficulty remembering his purpose, remembering that Caelius was still the enemy. He seemed anything but at the moment. “I feel much the same way.” Caelius reached out and placed a hand on Gaidres’s arm. “I will be much better once I am home and Valeriana is put to rest. I am not such good company tonight, I fear. I should let you get back. We leave at dawn.” Gaidres shrugged. “It is not as though my cell is any more interesting, Dominus. If you wish me to stay, I will do so.” “I do.” Caelius caught Gaidres’s hand and brought it to his lips. “I do not think you want food any more than I do.” “You should eat,” Gaidres said, though his insistence was half-hearted. “Perhaps we can awaken each others’ appetites.” Caelius rose, linking his fingers with Gaidres and drawing him up. “Would you lie with me, my gladiator?”

“You know that I would, Dominus.” He slid his arm around Caelius’s waist and started walking him back to the bed. Caelius’s heart fluttered, even as he tried to tell himself that this was only a mutual exchange of pleasure, nothing more. Now that Gaidres was here in his rooms again, Caelius couldn’t take his eyes off him. He both hungered for Gaidres’s fierce passion and longed to see the gentler side of him again. The desires wreaked havoc on his heart and mind. Gaidres seemed to be in as subdued of a mood as Caelius was. It made him want to kiss Gaidres with tenderness, hold him close and run caressing hands over his body. He wrapped his arms around Gaidres’s neck and pressed kisses along his jaw. “Would you allow me to pleasure you?” he asked, his voice husky as the back of his knees touched the bed. “I have always found pleasure in your bed.” Gaidres still held Caelius against him. Not breaking eye contact Caelius leaned in and kissed him as he had yearned to kiss him for longer than he realized. He sank his hands into Gaidres’s chestnut hair and let loose all the conflicting emotions rioting inside him. “There is pleasure, Gaidres, and then there is pleasure.” Caelius gave him a slow, almost secretive smile as he pulled back and brought his hands up to the fastenings of Gaidres’s arm guard. His dark eyes flicked up to Gaidres’s

face. “I never would have imagined armor would seem so… arousing.” Gaidres snorted, shaking his head in faint amusement. “You are an odd man, Dominus.” “Yes, I believe we’ve discussed that before. I do not deny it.” He eased Gaidres’s armor from him and then knelt to unwind the greaves that protected his calves and set them and the wool binding underneath aside. He moved slowly, his touch worshipful. It must be very strange for Gaidres to see his master kneeling before him. But he no longer seemed to make Gaidres squirm as he used to. They had gotten to be more…familiar…more comfortable with each other. And Gaidres had ceased to look over his shoulder as if waiting to be dragged off to have his cock separated from his balls for acting in such a manner toward his dominus. In truth, Caelius did not feel as if he was this man’s master, never had. Gaidres’s strength defied ownership. Caelius ran his hands over Gaidres’s legs, up and down along his thighs and then rose. “Bathe with me. You’ve had a long day’s training and tomorrow we travel. If you would allow it, I wish to care for you tonight.” “Who am I to deny you what you want? I have no doubt that your baths are as different from mine as our meals are.” Caelius laughed, pleased that Gaidres would now allow him this intimacy. Gaidres had come to him for one thing only—to ease the ache they aroused in one another. As much as he would like to hope that this increased trust

meant Gaidres’s feelings toward him would change even more, he didn’t really believe it would happen. He would do well not to forget that the arena, the battle, was Gaidres’s life. “Come, my gladiator.” Caelius led Gaidres to the baths near his rooms. The small, waist-high pool was more than sizeable enough for two and Caelius was impatient to be alone with him. As soon as the slaves laid out everything they would need, he dismissed them. Without speaking, they stepped close again and stripped each other of the rest of their clothes. Gaidres slid his hand down the curve of Caelius’s back, his touch more caressing than demanding and Caelius sighed in pleasure. “Your skin is always so soft.” Gaidres’s gaze moved over Caelius’s naked body. Caelius laced his fingers with Gaidres’s and stepped down into the pool, smiling as Gaidres joined him. “You can touch my skin and look upon my body anytime you wish. I know it pleases you.” There was no mistaking the hunger in Gaidres’s eyes when they were naked together. Gaidres’s gaze raked over Caelius. “It does, indeed, Dominus.” Caelius sluiced water over Gaidres’s body and reached for the strigil and oil. Gaidres’s body was perfect even with the scars and Caelius would see to every inch of him. “Relax, Gaidres, place yourself in my hands.” He kissed Gaidres’s shoulder as he stepped around him to his back. “I do not know your meaning.” Gaidres glanced back over his shoulder at him. Caelius brushed his fingers along Gaidres’s skin with a

knowing look. “Just relax. Allow me.” Before Gaidres could ask what he meant by that Caelius poured a thin stream of the oil, scented with herbs and flowers, over Gaidres’s shoulders and back before setting it aside and beginning to sweep his hands over Gaidres’s skin, massaging. Gaidres’s eyes closed, exhaling at his touch. Caelius kept his hands firm as they kneaded the sore muscles and scrubbed sweat and grime to the surface only to gently whisk it away with the fine metal strigil. Caelius reached under the water and his slick hands came around to close on Gaidres’s cock. “All of you needs bathing, does it not?” His voice was teasing and Gaidres chuckled. “Whore.” “Guilty.” He could touch Gaidres for an eternity and not grow tired of doing so. He kissed the nape of his lover’s neck before pouring more oil down over Gaidres’s chest and stomach. Caelius stayed pressed against his back as he massaged the oil into his skin before turning him around to wield the strigil again. “I have never met a man who would tend to a slave in such a manner. Or in any manner at all.” Gaidres studied him as if trying to figure Caelius out. Caelius brushed his mouth against Gaidres’s. “I tend to the man that I take to my bed. Is that so strange?” “Perhaps not, in a normal situation.” Gaidres’s breath caught as once again Caelius’s hands slipped underneath

the water to tease his cock. “But ours is not a normal situation, Dominus.” Caelius chuckled and pushed Gaidres back to the lip of the pool. “You think too much sometimes, my gladiator.” He patted the smooth tile and gave Gaidres a teasing smile. “Sit up here.” Gaidres’s muscles rippled as he levered himself up, his eyes curious, and Caelius stepped between his powerful thighs. He sighed as he began kissing down Gaidres’s chest and his tongue dipped into Gaidres’s navel. By the time he reached Gaidres’s cock, it was fully hard and waiting for him. “Don’t stop me.” Caelius flashed him a sultry glance then sank his mouth over Gaidres’s cock. He tasted of salt and musk, just as Caelius remembered. Gaidres leaned back on his hands, peering down at Caelius with an incredulous expression as if the idea of making him stop seemed simple-minded. He didn’t want Gaidres to get any ideas about what was proper and what wasn’t. And what he wanted was the taste of Gaidres coming in his mouth. Gaidres brought one hand down to rest on Caelius’s head as he knelt before him and worshiped his cock. He wanted Gaidres to forget for a while that he was a slave and Caelius his master. Of everything Caelius was when they were alone, a master was the least of them. Gaidres had called him “whore” in jest a moment before, but it carried truth. Caelius had no inhibitions and a hedonist’s soul.

Gaidres’s eyes closed and his head fell back with a rough groan, fingers clenching on Caelius’s short curls. “By the gods…Who taught you such skills? I would thank them…” Caelius chuckled, the sound muffled before he lifted his head, mouth sliding free of Gaidres’s cock with a soft, wet pop. “You have your secrets, my gladiator…and I have mine.” He then sank his mouth down again, taking Gaidres deep and swallowing around him. His cock filled Caelius’s mouth and the tight hands in his hair only increased his desire. Caelius savored both the sound of Gaidres’s soft groans and the look of unfettered desire on his face. He had never had the opportunity to indulge in slow pleasures with Gaidres. And as much as the out-of-control cravings and unspoken conflict between them had excited him in the past, after the last week he had little heart for the battle. In a way, his intention to escape to the villa was to give himself an opportunity to heal and regroup. Maybe it would do the same for his soul-weary gladiator. He slid his hands up Gaidres’s thighs, then one hand went to tweak Gaidres’s nipple as the other cupped his balls and teased them. Gaidres’s hand tightened before relaxing. “You have a wicked mouth,” Gaidres said breathlessly. “And wield it with ruthless skill.” Caelius hummed his agreement, tongue lashing as he stared up at Gaidres. When Gaidres didn’t look away, Caelius’s heart pounded.

He moaned as he tasted the first hint of what was to come, salty on his tongue. He stroked the lower half of Gaidres’s cock as his tongue swirled around the head and played with the slit before taking him deep into his mouth again. He bobbed his head faster now, sucking harder as the craving to feel and taste Gaidres spend himself in his mouth grew. Gaidres shuddered, eyes closing and then flying open as if he didn’t want to miss a single instant of watching Caelius working his mouth on him. “Dominus.” His breath hitched. For a moment disappointment flashed through Caelius. Gaidres had used his name during the long, dark night of Faustus’s birth. Why couldn’t he do so again? Their eyes met and Caelius’s heart raced as Gaidres spoke his name again. “Caelius.” Such a powerful pleasure washed through Caelius then. Gaidres looked at him in amazement, threading his fingers through Caelius’s short curls, panting. “Caelius.” He increased his seductive efforts in response. His tongue and teeth and mouth strove to devour Gaidres, who moaned as the pleasure grew, surging higher and higher. He trembled and tugged Caelius’s hair, a warning he was close. Caelius shook his head and lifted his mouth to speak. “Don’t stop me, please,” he whispered, before taking Gaidres into his mouth again, his fingers playing with Gaidres’s balls to aid him in finding his release. Gaidres cried out his name, hips lifting, and Caelius

thrilled at the pure passion in Gaidres’s expression. By the gods, he was gorgeous, all of his muscles taut, leaned back before Caelius and staring at him with his unusually blue eyes. Then Gaidres cried out again and Caelius moaned as his lover’s cock throbbed in his mouth. The first splash of come landed on his tongue and he swallowed in pleasure. He continued to suck, taking everything Gaidres gave him until the man was spent and trembling, looking at him in disbelief. Caelius lifted his mouth and kissed Gaidres’s cock before rising and slipping his arms around Gaidres’s waist. “Thank you.” Gaidres chuckled hoarsely, arms coming around Caelius in return. “It is I who should thank you.” Caelius tipped his head back to look up at him and then Gaidres was kissing him. Gaidres slid back into the pool with him, never breaking the kiss. With slow, lazy movements, he guided Caelius back to the end of the pool and the low bench under the water there. The kiss broke and Caelius panted as Gaidres sank down on the bench and tugged Caelius onto his lap to straddle him. Caelius gasped, lips parted, and rose up onto his knees, rubbing against his lover as Gaidres’s hands swept possessively over his back and sides and ass. “Gaidres, please.” Caelius braced his hands on the edge of the pool and stared down at him. Gaidres leaned forward to take one tightened nipple into his mouth as at the same instant one of his fingers pushed

inside Caelius’s entrance. He cried out, hips bucking as he leaned forward and pressed his chest against Gaidres’s sucking mouth. Caelius kissed the top of his head. All the desire he’d held at bay while he pleasured Gaidres flooded through him now, leaving him trembling with need. “Gods, Gaidres.” He moaned as the man moved his wicked mouth from one nipple to the other. Gaidres pushed his finger deeper and Caelius twisted his hips as Gaidres found his spot. “No.” The sensation was too much. He groaned as Gaidres paused and shot him a look of inquiry. “Yes…I swear…you shall drive me mad with need one day.” Gaidres laughed and gently bit Caelius’s nipple, sending a shock through him. “I endeavor to do so.” He pushed another finger inside and Caelius groaned, his head falling back. “Like this,” Gaidres breathed against Caelius’s skin, fingers rubbing against his spot, before thrusting them just right into him. “And this.” Caelius cried out and tugged Gaidres’s head back so he could kiss him. When their mouths met and tongues tangled, Caelius’s heart soared. By the gods, Gaidres owned him, held his spirit and heart within his hands. No man had ever been able to do that before. It came upon him with blinding clarity that he needed Gaidres. Something about the man both soothed him and stirred him up, made him feel alive. But saying so would be a mistake. Gaidres felt as if he’d already failed one man

who’d needed him and the quickest way to push him away and set him back on the path of self-destruction would be to ask for something more than passion. Caelius clung to him with body and heart as if somehow he could lay his own small claim on Gaidres through the meeting of their bodies. The force building up inside him had very little to do with the passion between them. He was falling in love. Perhaps he’d already done so and was only now admitting it. His heart thumped painfully as he kissed Gaidres back and ran tender hands over him. If this was love, then so be it. He’d never felt this rush of emotion for another person, the excitement and worry. And, given his fickle nature, he was unlikely to ever feel it again for another. Even if it couldn’t last, he’d savor it while it was here. Gaidres ran his free hand over Caelius from back to thigh and groaned, breaking the kiss and shifting position. Caelius trembled, a disappointed sound escaping him as Gaidres withdrew his fingers and moved from under him. The disappointment was short-lived, however, as Gaidres urged him to bend forward, over the edge of the pool with his thighs spread wide and the water lapping at the bottom curve of his ass. Gaidres gave him a wicked grin before sinking to his knees and burying his tongue between the cheeks of Caelius’s ass. He gasped and a shudder rippled down his body. Words lodged in his throat as pleasure tore through him. He could only moan and pant, his hands gripping the edge

of the pool. “Gods, Gaidres. And you claim I’m the wanton.” Gaidres laughed and pressed a kiss to the cheek of his ass. “You’re the one spread out on the edge of the pool, Caelius, not I. You should see the picture you make, trembling this way.” Caelius smiled over his shoulder. “Similar to the beautiful picture you made moments ago.” Gaidres’s eyes flashed again as he lowered his mouth, resuming his torments. He soon had Caelius pleading, torn between wanting more from his talented tongue and needing the sweet ache of Gaidres’s cock inside him. “Please, Gaidres, I beg you.” Caelius moaned, unable to keep still any longer, hips twisting. “Come inside me.” Gaidres couldn’t deny him. He stood behind Caelius, lips against his nape. “Here, Caelius? Or to the bed?” Caelius shuddered, head tipping back against Gaidres’s shoulder as his ass rocked back, nestling into the cradle of Gaidres’s hips. “Anywhere. Just…soon, please.” He turned his face into the curve of Gaidres’s neck and swept his tongue across his pulse point. “Hurry.” His eyes closed, savoring the need and the touch of Caelius’s warm lips and damp tongue. He rose from the pool, leaning down to catch Caelius’s arms and helped him out from the water. He walked back toward Caelius’s room and the bed. The other man followed with need in his eyes. Gaidres had

no words, but he could not look away. He had forgotten how much he enjoyed that look in a lover’s eyes. The look that told him they were his, that whatever he asked for they would give. There was much he thought he’d forgotten about having a lover—warm, soft things that both worried him and made him thrill inside. Caelius brought more out of him than simply pleasure, as much as Gaidres wished he could deny it. He tugged, tumbling Caelius to the silk-covered bed and beneath him. Immediately Caelius spread his legs. “Fuck me.” Caelius’s words made Gaidres’s cock throb as he stretched for the oil beside the bed. “I intend to.” He claimed Caelius’s lips as he reached between them to oil his cock and guide the slippery head to Caelius’s entrance. He cried out as Gaidres pushed inside. He paused when they were fully joined, his hand trailing down Caelius’s side to hitch his knee higher, touching every delicious inch in between. He was a beautiful man, as beautiful as any Gaidres had known since…He shoved the thought aside. The past had no place in this moment. The kiss broke and they panted against each other’s lips. Caelius stared into Gaidres’s eyes, locking his legs around Gaidres’s waist. He welcomed the embrace, the way Caelius held him close. “You make me wild with want.” Caelius slid his mouth down to Gaidres’s throat to feast on his sweat-laced skin. Gaidres shuddered, hands fisting in the bed coverings. His

craving for Caelius grew whether Gaidres came to him every night and they sated each other or whether Caelius kept him at a distance for a few days. Those days when he was not summoned became more and more unpleasant, as he waited and wondered what might be keeping Caelius from calling for him. “Do it. Go wild for me.” He twisted his hips as he thrust, angling for just the right spot and, true to his word, Caelius arched, clutching him tight as their movements sped up, hips rolling against each other feverishly. “As if I had a choice.” Caelius laughed, his nails raking Gaidres’s back. The sting of it sent rippling shudders through him and Gaidres groaned, tugging Caelius’s head back and claiming his lips. It was intoxicating, to drive a man so controlled in other ways to the point of madness with a simple touch, a kiss or a circling thrust. Their tongues tangled, teeth scraping as they feasted on each other like a fine meal. This kiss soaked into his soul, filling Gaidres up in a way that made his heart pound with a mixture of thrilled elation and guilt-driven fear. This wasn’t sating himself on Caelius and Caelius enjoying the hard use. For the first time, this was a mutual sharing. It terrified him even as he clung to it with desperation. Caelius seemed to lose all his control, showing Gaidres with moans and sharp cries, with the urgent writhing of his body, just how wild Gaidres made him. And as their mouths parted and their gazes met, Gaidres could not deny that there was something…more. He took Caelius’s lips in a

devouring kiss. When the kiss broke, their eyes met again and this time Caelius smiled. Something in that smile made Gaidres still inside for a moment, as if holding his breath. And then the moment passed, as he felt the impending arrival of an orgasm he couldn’t, and didn’t want to, hold back. “Caelius,” he gasped, and his lover cupped his face with gentle hands. “Yes.” As if he knew what words clogged in Gaidres’s throat, refusing to be freed. And then whatever hovered between them exploded, shattering and taking them along with it. Their lips met and clung, hands grasping tight, and they came together, ending the moment in a panting, collapsed tangle upon the silk covers stained with proof of their passion. Gaidres didn’t move. For the first time he didn’t feel the driving urge to be away, to separate himself and wash the evidence from his body. Instead, he lay, arms around Caelius, still buried inside him, and just…let himself be. Caelius relaxed beneath him gradually. His hands gently stroked Gaidres’s back and his legs uncoiled from Gaidres’s hips as his breathing slowed. Then Gaidres shifted, brushing his lips along Caelius’s jaw, and Caelius murmured his name. Caelius kissed his shoulder, moaning in protest as Gaidres pulled out of his body. But then he slid an arm around Caelius’s waist, pulling him close and the other man sighed, curled into him and fell asleep in an instant. Gaidres did not have as much luck finding his rest that

night. Because for all that the hard fucking had succeeded in wiping his mind of troublesome thoughts, the effect lasted only as long as the fucking itself. Now those thoughts, especially the feeling that he was betraying Kerses, were back, stronger than ever, and he was beginning to think they weren’t going away.

Chapter Ten Caelius cast a sideways glance at Gaidres and tried to ignore the quick cut of hurt as his new guard pretended to keep an eye on the open ground surrounding the road. It had been like this since he’d awoken in the morn to find Gaidres already gone from his bed, off to gather what he would need for the journey. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep the night before, but Gaidres’s weight had been comforting and Caelius had been able to relax for the first time in days. For whatever reason, Gaidres had allowed that new intimacy and Caelius hadn’t been about to draw attention to it and upset the fragile moment. “The roads are good. We should reach Rome sometime this afternoon,” Caelius said to the silent man who rode beside him. “’Tis very likely, Dominus.” Caelius wrestled with his own confused welter of emotion, but tried to let Gaidres be. It was obvious the other man regretted their closeness as much as Caelius had reveled in it. Gaidres wore his new armor and weaponry as if he’d always carried such fine gear. Nothing about him reminded Caelius of a slave. Which was how it should be. His thoughts would not stop hounding him with ways to capture Gaidres’s attention, tactics to get the man to smile or maybe even laugh. Frustrated, Caelius fell back to the

carpentum where Helene, Faustus and the wet nurse rode safe from the dust of travel. At least it wasn’t hot any longer. The days were cooling fast. He pulled his horse up next to the covered cart and knocked on a panel of wood, smiling as Helene pulled it back. “Does all go well with you? Do you need anything?” He’d arranged for a litter for them once they reached Rome. They’d stay the night before leaving by boat in the morning for home. “We are fine, Dominus. The babe likes the motion more than I.” She shifted on the bouncing seat with a stoic expression on her lined face. After a few moments of conversation, she shut the panel again to protect Faustus. Which meant he had nothing to distract him from Gaidres’s mood. Even Felix was not talkative. Caelius fell back in beside Gaidres, casting him a searching look. “We have fine traveling weather.” Was he really making such mundane conversation? He’d been at it most of the morning, with brief respites as he tried to think of a different topic. “Yes, Dominus.” Caelius sighed at Gaidres’s short response and fell back again, leaving him to his thoughts. He had known Gaidres would eventually react this way. And he’d prepared himself for it, or at least he’d thought he had. Yet the rejection still stung no matter how much he tried to reason it away. He had Gaidres’s lust and a few rare moments of tenderness, nothing more. And he couldn’t expect more, no

matter how much his heart demanded that he strive harder. The number of travelers on the road increased as they came nearer to Rome and the morning crept toward noon. Caelius spotted a shady resting spot ahead and gestured to Felix. “Let us stop here long enough to stretch our legs.” Felix nodded, his expression more somber than usual. “A rest would do us all some good. I’ll ride on ahead and put together a few things from our supplies for a cold meal.” Perhaps that would lighten Gaidres’s mood. Caelius had not missed the way the gladiator’s hand kept straying to the hilt of his sword. He’d cast Caelius a quick glance before turning his attention away again. He’d be a fool to think that Gaidres harbored no more thoughts of killing him after the night before. He wanted to be that fool and if it wasn’t only his life at risk he just might ignore those signs. Instead, he’d ask for Gaidres’s vow the first moment he had a chance to speak with him alone. Unable to rouse his own hunger, Caelius took Faustus from Helene to allow her the chance to eat. He paced the around the carpentum, his son tucked in the crook of his arm, falling fast asleep as Caelius mourned this new distance between himself and the gladiator. There were too many differences between their worlds and Gaidres had no interest at all in finding common ground. He concentrated on Faustus in his arms, smiling at the way the babe’s chin would wobble in his sleep, or the way his nose would wrinkle as a new scent came to them on the breeze. “Soon we’ll be in Rome, little one, I doubt you’ll sleep so

through that noise.” Caelius glanced up as he sensed eyes on him and found Gaidres staring at him. After a moment of silence, Gaidres rose from his seat at the base of a tree and approached him. He gestured to the child. “He is a handsome babe, Dominus. He is well?” Caelius glanced down at his son. “He grows stronger every day. Helene thinks the fresh air and calm of my villa in Caere will see him recovered from his birth fully.” Gaidres reached out to stroke one fingertip against Faustus’s soft cheek, then pulled back. “That is good.” Now was a good time to address at least one of his concerns. “May I ask something of you, Gaidres?” “Your will is my own, Dominus.” “I would ask your word that you will not make an attempt on my life today.” Gaidres agreed without hesitation. “You have my word, Dominus.” “Gratitude.” He wanted to ask Gaidres what he’d done to offend him, but he feared the answer, not to mention the possibility that he might only drive Gaidres away again. Faustus’s eyes blinked open and he fixed his serious gaze on Gaidres’s face before forming an O with his mouth and making a funny little chirping sound. Much to Caelius’s surprise, Gaidres beamed and once again stroked the babe’s cheek. “He looks bright-eyed enough. Be wary of him, Dominus. With those eyes and curls he’s likely to grow into a little one bent on mischief.” Caelius found himself smiling back. “I’m sure you know all about little ones who get into mischief, Gaidres.” He

could see Gaidres as such a boy and maybe, if the gods were kind, he’d get to see Faustus getting into the kind of trouble Gaidres was thinking of. “Perhaps I do.” Caelius bent his head and brushed his lips over Faustus’s forehead. The other members of their group were stirring, putting the remnants of their meals away and with that their respite was over. Caelius hoped that the tension wouldn’t return once they were on the road again. “Gaidres…” he started and then stopped, uncertain whether or not he should say more. “Yes, Dominus?” Gaidres pulled his eyes away from the babe and for a moment, one sweet moment, his expression was unguarded. Caelius wanted to lean in and kiss him. “If I’ve somehow caused offense, I apologize.” Gaidres stiffened, jaw tightening as he glanced away. “You did not, Dominus.” Already the other man seemed to regret his moment of openness. No doubt he cursed himself for forgetting that Caelius was still his enemy. He sighed and took a step back. “Very well. I will not keep you from your duties.” He gave Gaidres a small, sad smile and then turned away to bring his son back to the nurse. When they got back on their horses, Gaidres took up his position beside Caelius. Personal guards needed to stay alert, but Gaidres refused to look at him. Instead he scrutinized the surrounding area. They would be in Rome soon. Then in the morning they’d truly be on their way home. His soul longed for the quiet,

windswept cliffs, the view of the sea and all the people whom he had left behind. He wished they could stay longer, but he feared that if he did spend months at home he would lose all the political progress he had made. He wished he dared speak of his concerns to Gaidres. But Caelius held his peace, rather than antagonize him further. Perhaps this month together would lessen his want for the man and then he could turn his attentions elsewhere. He doubted it, though. Despite the fact that Gaidres was still keeping him at a distance, Caelius’s heart lightened when he spied his villa sprawling across the top of the cliffs. Home. He was home again. Some of the aching in his heart eased at the sight. He had missed this place. He’d buried it under work, trying to reclaim the wreck of his uncle’s villa and ludus and furthering his aspirations. Aspirations that hadn’t seemed so important in the last few weeks. Politics had been a game, a way to pass time and advance his family. Now when he thought of his career, he realized how much time he’d be spending away from his son. And he’d have to continue to involve himself in bloodsports that used people like Gaidres. And Rome and the Senate were changing so much, as well, moving in a direction that disturbed him. It made him question what he was actually doing to change things. Here at home, he could see with his own eyes the difference he made.

“Is that yours, Dominus?” Gaidres stood at the ship’s rail beside him, the tang and wind of the sea whirling around them. It was the first bit of conversation he’d offered since they’d reached Rome. The city had darkened Gaidres’s mood further and Caelius hadn’t pressed him. “It is.” Caelius drank in the sight of the villa as the setting sun cast a rosy glow over the buildings. “How did you know?” “Your face changed when you saw it.” Caelius looked at him, a lump rising in his throat. If only he could give Gaidres something that would light up the shadows inside him and give him some peace. He turned his attention back to the villa before he said something that betrayed his feelings and then pointed to the pier jutting out into the choppy water. A small delegation waited there. “That would be Demetrius and others to see to our comfort. He is in charge of my household when I’m away.” Gaidres merely nodded, not answering him, and kept an eye on the sailors who now bustled around, preparing to dock. Caelius touched his hand on the railing and met his eyes. “I hope you like it.” Valeriana hadn’t. She’d preferred being in the nearby city whereas Caelius only left his lands when he had to. Gaidres drew his hand back, gesturing to the pier. “We’ll be docking in a few moments, Dominus. Do you not wish to gather your son and introduce him to the people he will one day inherit?” Caelius’s lips tightened at the abrupt withdrawal. “Of course.” He swept up the end of his robe over his arm and

brushed past the gladiator to head below deck. Gaidres followed him at a distance. It was almost maddening how seriously the man took his duty to protect him. Physically he stayed close, but otherwise he could not be more distant. Once again, Caelius’s mood lightened as he laid eyes on his son. He bent low to brush a kiss to the babe’s forehead. “Welcome home, son.” A sound from Gaidres drew his attention and Caelius watched him storm back up to the deck, his back stiff. “Come, take a look at your home,” Caelius whispered, ignoring the way Gaidres had stalked back out again, for now. There was naught he could do about the stubborn man at the moment other than give him the distance that he seemed to need. Gaidres had been kind enough to support Caelius when he needed it and he could do no less for the other man in return. Faustus gave him a sleepy grimace and squirmed in his wrappings as Caelius carried him up on deck. “I know, you tire of being cooped in that hold.” He hoped the sound of his voice would keep his son from fussing until they were settled. He’d be happy himself to be on dry land again. By the time he emerged on the deck, with Faustus’s wet nurse and Helene trailing him, the boat had pulled up alongside the pier and the sailors were tethering it in place. Gaidres leaped first onto the pier, then reached out a hand to steady Caelius as he crossed with Faustus. “It is good to have you back, Dominus.” Demetrius came forward with a welcoming expression. “It is good to be back.” Caelius clasped Demetrius’s

hand. Demetrius had served his family Caelius’s whole life. After he earned his freedom he’d still insisted on running the household despite Caelius’s attempts to get him to take his ease. Demetrius’s hair was more white than gray now, but his keen mind had not dulled with age. Caelius lifted up his son for Demetrius to see. “This is Faustus, my heir.” Demetrius chuckled as Faustus squawked in protest. “Sounds like he has a fine pair of lungs, Dominus.” Then his expression became grave. “My apologies about Domina. You’ll see that everything has been prepared. The procession will be tomorrow and she can be laid to rest.” “Thank you, Demetrius.” They turned toward the stairway cut into the cliff to bring them up to the villa. He touched Gaidres’s arm as the gladiator came up beside him, hand on the hilt of his sword. “This is Gaidres. He is my personal guard.” “Welcome, Gaidres.” Demetrius clasped Gaidres’s arm in a friendly greeting before turning to Caelius. “There is a bath and food prepared for your arrival, Dominus. Come.” Gaidres blinked, seeming surprised by the easy acceptance of Demetrius and the others of Caelius’s household. Caelius hid his amusement as they cast Gaidres curious but friendly looks as the group made their way up toward the villa. The gladiator would find things to be quite different in Caere. Caelius sighed with relief as they crested the top of the stairs. His thighs burned. They seemed to get steeper every time and yet Gaidres didn’t seem winded in the least. His armor and sword had to weigh many times what the

babe did. “Demetrius, are you feeling well?” The older man was red in the face and winded. “I am fine, Dominus.” A pause as he huffed several deep breaths. “Do not…fret yourself.” Caelius vowed to himself that he would move about more before he began puffing with each step like Demetrius. He should have waited for them at the top, but Caelius knew the man would be offended if it were suggested. He waited to give Demetrius a few moments to recover. The view up here was as stunning as it had ever been. This was where Caelius had often gone when he needed to think and he suspected that he’d be spending many more hours walking along the cliffs while he was here. They entered the villa and then he kissed Faustus before handing him off to Helene to be fussed over, bathed and fed. He greeted the other members of his household as they came forward with warm, damp cloths to cleanse the dust from faces and hands. Home felt like paradise, and his melancholy faded. Even Gaidres seemed to be relaxing somewhat under the warmth of their welcome. Helene and the nurse disappeared toward the family wing and the guards toward their barracks. Caelius turned toward Gaidres and gestured to the villa. “Would you like to take a look around with me or would you prefer to eat first?” Gaidres hesitated, part of him wanting time away from

Caelius, but if he was going to be a guard he needed to know the layout of the villa. He would also have to get used to the fact that their time together was no longer going to be a few hours in the dark of night, but nearly constant while they were here. “I should become familiar with the villa, Dominus.” “Come with me, then.” Caelius started off toward the first room. “We’ll eat after a tour.” He followed, making mental notes of the rooms, the entrances and exits, listening as Caelius talked. He seemed proud of his home, and Gaidres couldn’t blame him. It was spacious, one room flowing into the next. The villa in Fidena was larger, but not so fine as this one. Caelius took care of his property in a way Craxus never had. “It is a grand home, Dominus,” he said when they’d circled back to the courtyard where they’d begun. He supposed he could be glad that Caelius did not make his home in Rome itself. Some would consider him daft to disdain the cultural center of the world, but those people had not seen the dark underworld he had. The blood Rome was built upon, the bodies that held up its foundations and the lives, countless of them, destroyed so Rome could flourish. The Republic of Rome was a vicious beast and the city was its blackened heart. He would count himself lucky to never set foot within its walls. “Thank you, Gaidres.” Caelius squeezed his shoulder and then let his hand drop. “Come, let us eat and then we can retire.”

He felt his face tighten. “As you wish, Dominus.” He had hoped, since he was meant to be a member of Caelius’s guard here, that he would be sent to bunk with the other soldiers. The night before they left had shaken him, so much so that he did not wish a repeat tonight or any other night. He had never felt so guilty, so disloyal. The things he began to feel for Caelius went beyond physical pleasure and that was all he ought to be feeling. He scowled, remembering the other morning. He’d awoken to find Caelius still in his arms, sleeping with his head on Gaidres’s chest, one long leg tangled with his. How had he allowed such a moment of weakness? To cradle the Roman to him like a babe to his chest was foolishness at its most extreme, exacerbated by the fact that his dreams had been pleasant and filled with Caelius’s smiles. Caelius’s dark eyes. Not Kerses. What was wrong with him? Ignoring Caelius was harder than he’d expected. Even when he did not look at the man, he was aware of him. Every move, every breath it seemed. It put him in a worse mood each day. “You need not stay in my bed,” Caelius said under his breath, touching his hand. “There is an antechamber beside my room. I could have a bed made up for you, if you prefer. I’ll not lie, I do like having you with me, but at the moment it seems to be causing you pain and I would not make it worse.” Gaidres shook his head, glancing away. “It does not pain me, Dominus. If you would have me stay, then I will

stay.” Caelius would see the words for what they were— words he had to say but did not necessarily mean. Was it possible to poison oneself with words so heavily laced with untruths? How easily they came to his tongue now. Who was he now that he could spill the words the man wanted to hear with hardly a moment’s pause to contrive them in his mind? So often it seemed he did not know himself at all anymore. Caelius sighed and then grasped Gaidres’s forearm. “Come with me.” It was not as if Gaidres had much choice in the matter, as Caelius led him with purposeful strides through the villa to his chambers, tugged the curtains closed and then turned to Gaidres. “You have learned, I hope, that what you say to me here, in my room, does not come back to be used against you. Have you not?” His voice was brisk, face tight. He nodded, unsure what Caelius was getting at. “Yes, Dominus.” “Perhaps I am wrong but it seems to me that since you have become a member of my house, since you have become my lover, I have tried to show you the respect one man owes another. I do not demean you, share you with others. I ask for your honest opinion and try to take your thoughts into consideration when I make decisions. Do I not?” Gaidres crossed his arms as he tried to come up with an argument in return. Other than Caelius being a Roman and a slave monger, he could not. His slaves were treated

far better than most. “I would say that you do.” “Then why will you not give me the same courtesy in return? Especially when we are not in private? You disrespect me in front of my people, Gaidres, whether deliberately or without thought. I will not have it continue. What have I done to deserve it?” He stiffened. “I have never claimed to be the most obedient of slaves.” Caelius cut him off with a sharp shake of his head. “I do not speak of obedience, Gaidres, I speak of respect. I harbor no illusions that you will ever obey blindly. In truth I would not wish it so. But is it too much to expect that the man who shares my bed show me courtesy outside of it?” He shifted on his feet. Caelius was right. Were it not for the unfortunate circumstance of Caelius’s relation to Craxus, Gaidres could think of little the man had done to earn his disdain. That did not, however, mean it was easy to ignore instincts that screamed the man was the enemy. Caelius’s face eased a bit when he did not explode. The other man took a step forward. “Will you not speak plainly and tell me what has changed? All was fine, better than fine I thought, before we left Fidena. And now you will not meet my eyes, you shrug away from my touch and speak only what you must. Why? You say I have not offended you, you say my presence does not pain you. What grieves you, my gladiator? I would not have this abyss between us.” Gaidres shook his head, glancing away. “I have no simple answers for you, Dominus.” Most of the time of late

he did not understand what was happening between them either. “Naught has changed. I am reminded of my place and seek to not overstep.” “Untruths. We are here for a month’s time, Gaidres. None but I and those I trust with my own life know the truth of your station. Will you not embrace the bit of freedom I can give you? If I thought you would accept it, you know I would free you altogether here and now. But it is you who have told me no. Is this not close enough, though? There are no chains on your body while we are here, Gaidres. There is no crime in enjoying that.” A light appeared in Caelius’s eyes. “There is no crime in enjoying me.” “You speak as if it is a simple matter.” Gaidres did not like that gleam in Caelius’s eyes. How dare he act as if he knew something Gaidres did not. “What do you know of how I feel?” “Very little. You keep everything locked up but anger and desire. What is it, Gaidres? Have I come too close for your comfort?” Caelius took a step closer to him, his voice softening. “Do you feel as if you’re betraying yourself and your Kerses for showing kindness toward a hated enemy?” Gaidres’s jaw tightened as he looked away, angry at himself for allowing some pleasure to slip through his tight defenses. Caelius sighed and touched his hand to Gaidres’s cheek. “Oh, my gladiator, you are your own worst slave master. Far crueler than I could ever be.” Gaidres stepped back, shoving Caelius’s hand away. “A Roman would say something like that. You twist things to fit

your own version of reality.” “Do I?” Caelius raised one eyebrow, advancing on Gaidres and driving a finger against his armored chest with each point. “Who keeps you in chains? Not I. You never allow yourself any kind of joy, Gaidres, and every time you err and start to relax, you punish yourself. And when you find that sword that does take your life, it will be through your own doing. Before, you were forced to by the Romans. Now you do so by your own choice.” Caelius drew himself up and met Gaidres’s hard stare, as if bracing himself. “What was done to you was a terrible thing, but I think that what you do to yourself would hurt your Kerses even more if he could see it.” Gaidres’s fist flew before he could stop himself, before he could even think. It connected with Caelius’s elegant jaw. The Roman dropped to the floor, panting and clutching his face. Gaidres froze, fists still clenched, and watched as Caelius rose to his feet and met his eyes. There was no anger there. “Do you need to strike me again? Would that soothe your pain?” Gaidres snarled and closed the gap between them, glaring down at Caelius. “There is nothing to soothe my pain. You mock me.” Caelius shook his head. “I do not, Gaidres, I swear it. I seek only to make you see, to realize. You have said Kerses was gentle, that he was kind and loving. I’m sure he loved you more than any words could convey. Would he want this for you? Death, and before that a life that might as

well be the same? Would you want that for him, were your positions reversed? Would you have asked him to die for you long after you were gone?” Gaidres shoved Caelius back. “You speak of what you do not know. Do not speak on him as if you have the right!” “I know I have not the right, but I will speak on it anyway. I know a bit about love. And I know I would not want my love to spend his life a self-appointed messenger of death, seeking revenge that would serve no purpose. You are still alive, Gaidres. Yet you squander that gift.” Gaidres spun back around, seething. “The life I live is no gift, and you are a fool to think otherwise!” Caelius was so calm, his eyes gentle and for a moment he reminded Gaidres so much of Kerses it pained him. He’d seen that expression so often on his lover’s face when Gaidres would rail about some injustice or other. The look said, “Then do something about it.” “If you do not care for the life you live, change it.” By the gods, it was as if Caelius had heard his thoughts. “How am I supposed to accomplish that, Caelius?” Gaidres snarled. “Chained as I am to you.” Caelius’s eyes were gentle as his hands came up to cup Gaidres’s face. “If you would be free of me, say so and you’ll not have to see me again.” Gaidres shook his head, hands coming up to grasp Caelius’s wrists. “Better you than an unknown master.” “Perhaps.” Caelius let his hands fall away. “And perhaps another master would not twist you up so much inside. You could hate him the way you cannot hate me, no matter how

much you desire to.” He gave Gaidres a sad smile and turned away to wring a cloth in the cool water laid out in his chambers. Then Caelius shot him a fierce look. “And don’t think for one moment that I would allow another Roman to have control of you, Gaidres. No one will own you but yourself for as long as I have breath in my body.” “You own me.” “In name only, not in spirit.” Caelius touched the damp cloth to his temples and jaw. “I do not think anyone can cage your spirit. Not when you’ve done it your own self. And if you give yourself some time to think on it perhaps you’ll see the truth of my words. I am a fool in many things, but not in this, I think.” He would never understand the man and Gaidres didn’t know why he would even want to. And yet he found himself thinking of Caelius often, pondering his words, his strange behavior. Gaidres had never met a Roman like him, and yet at the end of the day that was what Caelius was. A Roman. An enemy. Hated. And yet you do not hate him. And much as he might want to deny it, it was true. He did not hate Caelius. And that confused him more than anything else. It occurred to him that, aside from the fact that Caelius owned Gaidres and lay with him, Kerses would have liked the man. “You remind me of him. How is that possible?” Caelius turned, eyes surprised. “Of Kerses?” “He believed as you do, that if you did not like your fate, you should change it. He believed everything was possible.

Rules were…able to be bent.” Gaidres’s lips twisted in a half smile at the memory. “You are the same in that. I am not.” “No, you are not.” Caelius sat and leaned back on his hands on one couch. “He dreamt for you both, didn’t he?” Gaidres sat on another couch with a sigh. “He never tried to change me, he just…led me to see his way with soft smiles and cajoling words. I could never deny him.” Just as, it seemed, he found it hard to deny Caelius. He tried, but hated the way he felt when Caelius’s dark eyes would sadden and his face would fall. His thoughts skittered away from pondering why that was. “I do not wish to change you either. I only wish to give you some ease, since you allow yourself none.” Gaidres sighed, feeling as weary as Caelius looked. “There is no ease to be had, Caelius, no matter how much you might wish it.” Caelius rose and crossed to him, holding his hand out. “Then if not ease, allow me to give you some small pleasure. It is all you give me leave to do and it is better than nothing.” He hesitated, looking up at Caelius. He felt torn, raw inside. “The world is cold and cruel and lonely. If we find some respite in each other’s arms there can only be good in that.” “I can give you nothing else.” It was a warning as much as a statement of truth. He had nothing else to give Caelius, even if in his private thoughts, he wondered if perhaps the man might wish for more. What more, Gaidres didn’t know,

but the longing was there. Under the surface. He wasn’t blind. “I am not asking for anything from you, my gladiator. I am asking you to let me give to you. That is all. Where is the harm?” Gaidres could find none at the moment, perhaps because he didn’t want to. Whatever the reason, he took Caelius by the hand and allowed himself to be drawn to his feet.

Chapter Eleven Gaidres cast him a confused glance when Caelius led him out of the room instead of toward the bed. He had not had an opportunity to kiss Gaidres, to touch him since they’d left Fidena and he craved the closeness now. But after having tasted Gaidres’s warmth and generosity of spirit, Caelius didn’t know if he could lie with him when he was so distant. Even his anger would be better. At least then Caelius would know it wasn’t forced. Besides, this was his first night home. Despite his throbbing jaw and temples, despite the fact Gaidres had to be the single most stubborn man he had ever encountered in his life, and despite the fact that he’d come home for tragic reasons, he was home. And he wanted to celebrate that with all the people he cared about. Caelius released his hand and gestured for Gaidres to follow him through the halls. Gaidres quickened his strides to catch up. “Where do we go, Dominus?” Caelius glanced at him over his shoulder. “The evening meal. You will join the rest of us.” “Us? Who?” Caelius laughed. “My household. I do not care to eat alone, Gaidres, and do not hold to the belief that to share a meal with those society places beneath me is shameful. And while we are here, you are a member of my household.” Gaidres shook his head as if in disbelief and then a smile crossed his face. “You are the strangest man I have

ever encountered, Dominus, though I will say that your oddities are far more welcome than the normal behavior I have seen.” Caelius laughed again and clapped Gaidres on the shoulder, squeezing it as some of the worry lifted from him. As painful as that confrontation had been, it was worth it to see his lover thaw somewhat. “May that always be so, my friend.” He dropped his hand as Gaidres flashed him another look of surprise. But then the time for private conversation was gone as they entered the room where Caelius dined. The entire household had turned out for the feast Demetrius had arranged. Even the little ones were in attendance, pressing close to their parents’ legs as all eyes turned on him and Gaidres. Caelius’s heart filled near to bursting and a lump arose in his throat. He held out his arms, touched by the support they showed him. “My friends.” He looked around at everyone one by one. “Though it was sorrow that brought me home, let there not be sorrow here tonight. With every death there is new life, even if we cannot see it at the time. Let us celebrate upon seeing each other once again and celebrate the birth of my son and his future playmate Georgios, who I hear was born during my absence.” Gaidres glanced around as he followed Caelius to one of the many low, backless couches arranged near the center table laden with food and drink. He stayed close and Caelius couldn’t help but wonder if his nearness had more to do with the entire situation being foreign for the gladiator

than over any zeal to protect Caelius. It had likely been years since Gaidres had shared a meal such as this. Most of his meals outside of Caelius’s chambers would have been taken either alone in his cell or hunched over a bowl of mush with a group of gladiators who weren’t interested in friendly conversation. So Gaidres may have sat a little closer to Caelius than the gladiator would have deemed proper, but Caelius didn’t mind at all. He rested a hand on his Gaidres’s thigh before gesturing to the food. “You may help yourself, Gaidres. We are very informal here, as you can see.” Gaidres glanced at him. “This isn’t just for your return, is it? It’s like this every night?” He laughed. “These people have been a part of my household since I was a child, and their parents and grandparents before them. And as I told you, I do not like eating alone. Valeriana, rest her, was often off at some celebration or at her parents’ home.” Gaidres reached out and set a portion of crispy roasted game bird on a plate and handed it to Caelius before taking some for himself. “It will take some getting used to.” He laughed then, as a small boy no more than two, galloped as fast as his fat legs could carry him past them and into the lap of his father. “As will many things here, I think.” “I have faith in your ability to adjust.” He had never seen Gaidres so awkward before. It was just an unusual situation for him, but given what he had been able to glean of Gaidres’s past, he thought the other man would soon be

very comfortable here. Unlike Valeriana, though he couldn’t deny that she’d tried at the beginning. The anguished expression that had been on Gaidres’s face as they argued had eased. And as much as it made Caelius ache to see it at the time, it had given him some small hope too. He loved Gaidres. And every bit of time that he spent with the other man only reinforced his feelings. He loved him for his passion. He loved him for the gentle care he’d shown when he’d had no reason to give Caelius such things. He loved his honor. Gaidres lounged back with his plate in one hand and a goblet of wine in the other. Caelius couldn’t help noticing how he kept looking at the children with a hint of wistful regret. Caelius leaned over and laid his hand on Gaidres’s knee. “That little one is Cyrillus. His father oversees the crops for me and his wife the herb garden. You can hear Cyrillus all over the villa and its grounds most days.” “He does seem a handful,” Gaidres remarked as the boy wiggled down and ventured to the table to steal a date before finding a few others about his age. He loaded his plate again, feeling an appetite he had not had in awhile and began telling Gaidres about the people in the room, sharing his favorite memories of them. When they came by the couch he and Gaidres shared, he introduced Gaidres to them as he’d introduced him to Demetrius and was pleased by how they accepted him. He wondered how Gaidres would react once the intimacy of their relationship was known. Based on the sidelong

glances a few of his people were giving them, they already suspected. “What else does this villa produce other than crops?” Gaidres poured Caelius some more wine as he emptied his goblet. “A small amount of fishing, mostly for ourselves, and we make our own wine. I’ve given some thought to expanding the vineyard, but haven’t had much time to put into the project.” “You love it here.” It was a statement, not a question. Caelius looked around the room, his thoughts flooded with fond memories. “Very much.” “Then why did you not sell the ludus and Craxus’s villa when you inherited it? It’s taken you away from this place you love so much.” “It’s given me much, as well.” Caelius cast him a sidelong glance. “In truth, I considered selling it and washing my hands of my uncle and his property altogether. However, I had thought to rebuild the ludus on a grand scale, to further my political aspirations.” He sighed and glanced around. “Of late, though, those aspirations seem empty and I wonder if they are still worth pursuing.” Gaidres’s jaw tightened. “And what would you do with the ludus then, Dominus? Sell it?” Caelius gave him a look. “You mean would I sell the men along with it?” Gaidres nodded, his expression stony with pretended indifference.

“No. I have not decided what to do now. Things have changed so much since I first set foot in the ludus. But I would ask you to trust that I will do the right thing. I did not dispose of the men who could no longer fight, did I? You cannot think I would do such a thing to the rest of them now. A solution will be found, I assure you.” “And the Lupercalia? Are you still planning to have us participate in the games? I have heard talk that they will be held at the arena of Atilius in Fidena.” “Yes, with all the work you and the others have put into your training you’ll be more than ready to debut at the Lupercalia. And what better amphitheatre for it? If you do well, of which I have no doubt, you’ll gain enormous favor with the crowds. Gladiators have won their freedom from such contests.” Gaidres snorted and shook his head. “Some, perhaps, but far more likely the only freedom to be won on the sands is the freedom of death.” “You continue to assure me our men can do nothing but win at all the games, do you not? The question is not whether gladiators of my house will win a purse large enough, but whether or not the men would accept the freedom it could buy.” Caelius set his empty plate aside. “There is only one who would refuse, I think.” Gaidres shrugged. “I have not given it any recent thought, truth be told.” “Well, there is still time.” Perhaps Gaidres would not ever want to start a new life with him. But the way his lover had looked at the children earlier, as if he’d longed for one

of his own, made him think that one day, Gaidres would be ready to find a woman who could give him children of his own. A man who thought of children, thought less of bringing about his own death. “I would ask your opinion on another related matter, Gaidres.” “As always, you have my ear, Dominus.” Gaidres cast him a curious glance. “You only need to ask.” “I have been considering ways to draw attention to us before the Lupercalia. I want there to be interest in the men, before you come out to fight in public for the first time.” Gaidres’s brows furrowed. “You want my opinion?” “Of course I do. What would you suggest to raise interest? A simple gathering with food and wine is not likely to pique the curiosity of the type of citizens whose patronage would serve the ludus most.” Gaidres licked a bit of sauce off his thumb and frowned. “Surely you are well placed, Dominus. Would they not come by virtue of your status?” Caelius laughed. “I am not so powerful as you seem to think, especially in Fidena. No, we need to draw interest. The more interest, the greater the chance of securing the primus and the larger the rewards for your men.” He had long since stopped protesting every time Caelius would call the other gladiators his men. Caelius had never understood why he had protested in the first place. In truth, they did look to him for leadership, he could not deny it. “An exhibition, perhaps. They would find it exciting to

witness a small series of demonstration battles in the courtyard. The games are often from such a distance in the arenas. Would they not clamor to see it up close?” Caelius could not imagine the pleasure to be found in viewing a grueling battle up close. He did like to watch Gaidres spar, but more for the joy of seeing his athletic grace, not to mention that he only wore a subligar and simple arm-and-shoulder armor while doing so. However for those who loved the games…yes, they would enjoy such a spectacle and if he was careful with his invitations, the display would leave others eager to see firsthand the strength of his ludus. Petronius would be an ideal person to see the exhibition, and Caelius had made certain that relations between them remained cordial. “I think that is a good idea. We can have it a month or so before the actual festival. It will give us time to plan and prepare. And time afterward for the anticipation to build.” “And if we build up the exhibitions to a final one with live steel instead of practice blades, your spectators will be hungry for more, Dominus.” Gaidres grinned as Cyrillus barreled into his side and he helped the boy steady himself. “Easy there, little one.” “You mean a fight to the death, before the festival?” Possibly patrons would enjoy such a bloodthirsty display, but the idea made him sick with dread. He frowned and shook his head. “I’ll not agree to that.” “No, not a fight to the death. Live steel. The possibility of injury and blood will whet the bloodthirsty Roman appetite.”

Gaidres gave him a measuring look. “It is what makes the games so popular.” He winced. Gaidres had a point, not that he liked it one bit. He would have to make sure that their doctoré trained them so well that when his ludus was engaged in such contests, they won every one. “You’re right, it would increase the excitement.” Caelius gave Gaidres a long look and wished they had not started talking of fighting and blood. “As the champion of my ludus, you know you will need to take part in that fight.” “I am aware, Dominus.” Caelius sighed in resignation, then set the topic aside before it ruined the peace he had found. Instead he turned his attention on a trio of young men with instruments who began to play a cheerful, energetic tune. “Those are Cassian’s sons.” He gestured to one of the men he had introduced to Gaidres earlier. Helene approached with Faustus in her arms. “He’s just eaten, Dominus. I thought you would like to spend some time with him.” Caelius didn’t hesitate as he reached for his son. He looked up and caught Gaidres watching with a wistful expression, his eyes soft. Caelius lifted a brow and glanced down at Faustus, then back up at Gaidres. “Would you like to hold him?” Shock crossed Gaidres’s face, followed by unfeigned eagerness, but the gladiator hesitated as he reached out his hands to take Faustus. “You would trust me with your son, Dominus?”

He set Faustus in Gaidres’s arms, smiling as they closed protectively around the babe. “You are not a killer of children, Gaidres. In this or any other life. I have absolute trust in you when it comes to his safety.” And truth be told, he trusted Gaidres with his own safety, even without his daily vow. But the vow was something Gaidres needed at the moment, to justify his reasons for not slaying a Roman. Gaidres was not a man who enjoyed death. He believed he had no other options. Caelius would have to find a way to show him that he did. “Gratitude, Dominus.” Gaidres did not take his eyes from Faustus’s face. And in return the babe seemed just as interested, studying Gaidres with serious eyes and a knitted brow. “In this, gratitude is not necessary. Faustus should get to know everyone here. He belongs to these people just as much as they belong to him.” Caelius reached over and brushed his fingers across Faustus’s brow. “The only way we can change attitudes is by setting an example and starting young.” Gaidres glanced away from the boy, arching a brow at Caelius. “You do not really think the Republic will ever change?” Caelius smiled ruefully and shrugged. “Maybe not. But my part of it can be different.” Gaidres shook his head as if to say he was a fool, but then one finger brushed Faustus’s little fist and he found that digit caught in a grip that had surprised Caelius in the past with its strength. Gaidres seemed to push aside

whatever dark thoughts were in his mind and instead focused on the tiny person in his arms. Faustus was small, even for a babe, but there was vitality in the way he squirmed and intelligence in his dark eyes. Gaidres looked up at Caelius. “I do not require a separate chamber, Dominus.” Caelius stilled, then his lips edged up. “Good. I am glad.” Warmth lit Gaidres’s eyes, and then his gladiator turned his attention back to the child in his arms. It made his heart ache to see those rough hands cradle his son and he decided that as long as Gaidres wanted to hold Faustus that he would let him. It had probably been years since the man had let down his guard so. It would be good for him. Demetrius signaled for his attention and Caelius rose, murmuring to Gaidres. “I’ll return in a moment.” Gaidres nodded, talking to Faustus. “Dominus, I had taken the liberty of arranging some young men and entertainment for tomorrow night.” Demetrius cleared his throat. “Did you wish to have your usual friends from town come or do you want it to be a private evening?” Caelius blinked and found to his surprise that he had not thought of having one of his hedonistic gatherings in months. He glanced back at Gaidres and found curious blue eyes staring back at him. Even when he’d had lovers in the past, he’d still had those gatherings, where everything could and did happen. And now…now he found that he had no interest in one at all. No matter how beautiful the men that Demetrius had found.

He had not realized he had changed so much. “Entertainment will not be necessary while I am home, Demetrius. I think I will prefer quieter evenings. At least for now.” Surprise crossed Demetrius’s face, but before he could question further, Caelius turned to go back to Gaidres and his son, knowing that his old aide was watching him. Gaidres frowned as he sat beside him. “Is all well, Dominus?” “All is more than well, Gaidres. It’s perfect.”

Chapter Twelve Caelius paced along the cliffs, letting the breeze off the sea soothe his throbbing temples. The funeral procession had been a long affair, made all the more distressing by the greed of Valeriana’s family. They seemed to have little care that she was gone. Their main concern had been whether or not Caelius would sever ties with them, making them lose access to his wealth. He glanced down at the sleeping babe in his arms. “My sweet boy. I promise you I will not let them poison you the way they did your mother. You will have only good thoughts of her. I will make sure of it.” It disturbed him more than he could say that they could be so callous on this day of all days. But Valeriana was well and gone now, if not Caelius’s lingering guilt, and he’d think about what to do about her family on another day. At least Gaidres had seemed to pick up on his distress earlier. His expression had become more and more forbidding as Valeriana’s family had approached him one by one, until they ceased coming altogether after one look at his gladiator’s face. He needed to stop dreaming. Even if, gods willing, he was able to find a way to soothe Gaidres’s hurt enough that he stopped seeking death, he’d never win Gaidres’s heart. He had thought he would give Gaidres some peace from his presence, and since he knew that Felix wouldn’t allow him to bury himself in his work today of all days he had gone to pace the cliffs to think. He had a rare moment of

time on his hands and this was the best way he knew to soothe his thoughts. “One day all of this will be yours, Faustus. This is a true home.” Caelius looked around, noting all the small details that separated this place from his uncle’s. The bright splashes of color from pots of fall flowers, the song of the sea in the background and the warm light spilling across the paved stones he’d played on as a child. Faustus stirred in his arms, chirping a greeting as he blinked his eyes open and turned his little face away from the breeze. He brushed his lips over the babe’s forehead. He had missed him all day and holding him now eased his spirit even more than the walk. “I was beginning to think you’d never wake.” He nuzzled his nose against Faustus’s soft cheek. The scrape of a sandal on the ground caught his attention and his heart picked up. He no longer wondered how he always knew it was his gladiator and not someone else. Caelius turned, watching as Gaidres’s steps slowed when he spotted Caelius walking with Faustus cradled in his arms. The concerned expression on Gaidres’s face made his heart warm. His lover glanced around, but no one else was about and after a moment’s consideration, Gaidres approached. “Dominus?” “I thought after the fiasco of the funeral, you would prefer to be left alone.” Caelius moved forward to meet him. Gaidres cocked his head. “Would you prefer it?”

Caelius shook his head and shifted Faustus in his arms so the little one could look about. He was a curious babe, always trying to turn his head whenever he heard a new voice. “No, I think I have done enough brooding for one day.” Gaidres stepped closer and Caelius smiled as the man reached to brush his fingers over Faustus’s cheek. Gaidres would have been a good father if he had been given the chance. Gaidres’s eyes flicked to Caelius’s face, studying him. “I am sorry, Dominus, I did not realize your grief ran so deep.” “In truth, it does not.” Caelius sighed and shook his head, trying to find the words to explain it. “And that is what bothers me. I know it sounds strange. Many marriages are not based on love and ours certainly wasn’t. And it is not even so much the guilt. That I’ll get over. It just seems a great tragedy that someone can pass and leave nothing behind. No true ties or friendships, no one to mourn their passing.” “She left you a healthy son, and I know you will raise him to know the good qualities of his mother and not the bad. So in a way, she will be mourned.” “Faustus is the greatest gift that I have ever been given.” Caelius brushed his fingers over the babe’s wisps of hair. “I hope one day, when I pass, that people will remember me well and not badly.” He longed to touch Gaidres, to reach out and pull him close for a kiss, but the balance between them was so fragile, even after another night in each others’ arms. He

grimaced at Gaidres. “I’m being self-pitying, aren’t I?” A smile tugged at Gaidres’s lips, almost as if he couldn’t help it. “You are.” A thought seemed to occur to him, and after a moment’s hesitation Gaidres gestured toward the villa. “Come with me.” Caelius lifted his brow. “Where?” Gaidres shook his head. “Just come.” Caelius let Gaidres take the lead, following him with curiosity. Gaidres led him through the villa, glancing over at Faustus and chuckling. Caelius looked down to see his son staring around with wide eyes and his little mouth in an O that made him look forever surprised. “Though he had an inauspicious start in life, I do not think you need worry he will be hampered in any way. There is intelligence in his eyes.” He gestured to the babe. “See how he watches? He knows.” “That he does.” Caelius made no attempt to disguise the pride in his voice. Gaidres followed the sound of laughter and childish shrieks, finally emerging on the opposite side of the villa, farthest from the cliffs, to find several of the women and a herd of children from barely toddling up to about eleven summers. Gaidres took in the sight with satisfaction and glanced at Caelius. “I find it impossible to be maudlin in the presence of so much life.” Caelius chuckled as all eyes turned toward them. He waved to the women as they started to rise, to let them know there was no need. “Don’t let us disturb you.” The children took him to his word and went back to their game

that appeared to have no rules other than much running about and laughing. He sat on an empty bench and gestured for Gaidres to join him. Gaidres’s advice was sound and perhaps this time would help soothe the gladiator, as well. He ached with the need to give the man some small measure of comfort, to love all that anger away. “Please, sit with me.” Caelius shifted Faustus again, leaning him back against his chest so he could watch the riotous play. Gaidres straightened as one of the older boys approached him, a curious light gleaming in his eyes. Caelius greeted the boy. “I almost did not recognize you, Nikon. You’ve grown.” “Everybody says that.” Nikon shrugged and turned to Gaidres. “Did you run into any bad men on the way? Did you have to fight them off?” Gaidres’s lips twitched and he shook his head. “No, no bad men.” Nikon didn’t seem bothered by that. “I bet you could have fought them off, though. Couldn’t you?” His eyes fell on Gaidres’s sword sheathed at his side. “With your sword?” “I could have. I am glad I didn’t have to, though.” The boy, who couldn’t be more than six or seven years old, peered up at him with narrowed, assessing eyes. “You’re not afraid, are you?” Gaidres laughed. “Not afraid, no. But a battle you don’t have to fight is one you’ve already won.”

Nikon appeared to consider that, then shrugged and eyed the sword again. “My father says when I am grown I can have a sword.” He wrinkled his face in annoyance. “But that’s too far away. Have you killed lots of bad men? Tell us!” Gaidres looked up and realized the other boys had gathered, emboldened by Nikon’s approach. “I’ve had to kill before in defense of my own life or others.” Gaidres supported Cyrillus, the little one from the night before, as he clambered up onto his lap. “It is not a thing lightly done.” “When did you get your first sword?” another asked, touching the sheath to Gaidres’s sword and then the breastplate of his armor. “Do you have to train always or do you just know what to do? My mother says that planting and growing things is in our blood and we just do it.” “Dominus.” One of the women caught his attention as she approached. “If they are bothersome, we can move elsewhere.” Caelius gave him a questioning glance and Gaidres shook his head. He did not mind the children, though he hadn’t expected to be such a source of obvious fascination for them. Caelius shook his head at the women. “Do not concern yourself. I think he is happy to have all the attention.” Gaidres glanced over at Caelius at that comment, unsure what he meant by it. But the children drew his attention back before he could ponder it long. “Well? When did you get your first sword?” Nikon looked as if he was planning to go running to his father and inform

him of the exact year Gaidres had gotten his, in hopes of convincing his father of allowing him to have one, as well. “When I was thirteen.” He chuckled at the boys’ crowing, shaking his head. “But no one simply put a sword in my hand and sent me on my way. You have to learn to use one properly or the weapon you wield can easily become your enemy’s advantage.” One of the older boys puffed his chest up, scowling. “That’s silly. If I have a sword I can kill my enemy!” Gaidres’s brow lifted and he set Cyrillus on the bench beside him before rising. “You think so? Come, show me.” He gestured the boy away from the others and unsheathed his sword, carefully handing it to him by its hilt. “What is your name, son?” “Nerva.” Gaidres gestured to the sword which, though short for a man, overwhelmed the boy who appeared to be around eleven. “Kill me then. I am your enemy, now show me how you would dispatch me with your mighty sword.” He gestured to Cyrillus, who was attempting to squirm down from the bench to follow, and Caelius stopped the boy, keeping him beside him. “You, little one, will sit here with me or with your mother. Leave the swordplay to the older boys. You’ll join them soon enough.” To Gaidres’s relief, the women gathered the other very young ones, who wouldn’t understand the danger, and took them off to the other side where they could watch the lesson in safety. Nerva held the blade in both hands, his muscles

straining, and cast a glance at Caelius before looking back at Gaidres. “What if I hurt you? Dominus would be angry.” Caelius chuckled. “True, I would be upset if Gaidres got hurt, but not with you. Do not fret, Nerva, I think you are safe. Gaidres is well used to facing an opponent. Just follow his lead.” “An enemy would not wait for you to make up your mind to strike, Nerva.” Gaidres gestured to the sword. “Come at me or consider yourself defeated at the start.” Nerva’s face screwed up in a grimace, but he stepped forward, swinging the heavy sword clumsily at Gaidres’s stomach. Gaidres moved out of the way, catching Nerva’s arm. He used the boy’s momentum against him and in the next instant had the sword back in his own hand and pointed right at Nerva. The boy’s mouth fell open. “You’d be dead.” Gaidres lowered the sword and crouched down so they were eye level. “And that, my boy, is why a weapon you do not know how to wield is deadly only to yourself.” Nerva scowled and huffed, looking embarrassed and Gaidres smiled, reaching out to pat his shoulder. “If you would like, and with your parents’ permission, I can show you how to make sure that never happens again.” Huge dark eyes in a smart little face met Gaidres’s gaze. “Do you mean it?” Gaidres glanced over at Caelius and found him smiling. When Caelius nodded, Gaidres looked back at the boy. “I do. Get permission and we will meet right back here tomorrow.”

“I will! I will. Gratitude!” Then Nerva scrambled off to the other boys, who clamored around him wanting to know what it’d been like to hold a real soldier’s sword and face him in battle. Gaidres chuckled and straightened to his feet, tucking his sword back in its sheath and dusting off his hands as he came back to the bench where Caelius sat. Caelius was giving him an amused look. “I suppose you’ll need a rudis for him. Your sword near toppled him over.” Caelius’s eyes sparkled. Gaidres chuckled. “He has fight in him, that one. I think his mother is bound to be disappointed when young Nerva shows more aptitude for a sword than a garden.” Caelius laughed, startling Faustus and setting him to kicking, loosening the swaddling around him. “I think you may be right. I’d also hazard to guess that when you practice with the guards tomorrow you will have a rapt audience. These boys are going to follow you around like a pack of young hounds if you let them.” “I’ll make sure to set a few rules.” Gaidres reached his finger out to Faustus who once again had managed to get his little hand free. The babe latched on to Gaidres’s finger and he could not mask his pleased expression. “Here, hold him a moment while I send for his nurse. No doubt he’ll be hungry soon, now that he’s started wiggling.” Caelius’s attachment to his son was one of the many strange, yet pleasant, oddities about the man. Most men had little time for infants. Sons did not tend to become of interest until they began to walk and talk and could be

taught. But Caelius wanted to hold his son and talk softly to him at every opportunity. In that, they were very much alike. Gaidres could not imagine ever foisting his own babes off with nary a twinge of regret. Gaidres’s heart ached as he was handed the infant. He looked down at him, one finger stroking his little cheek. A surge of jealousy raced through him. He had always thought he’d come to terms with the fact that he would never have children. First, when he’d fallen in love with Kerses and realized there would be no woman to bear them, and then again when he was captured and realized there was no escape, even if he’d had something to escape to. But watching Caelius with Faustus made Gaidres think that perhaps he wasn’t as resigned as he’d thought. And it seemed to embody everything he had been denied by the Romans. A home, a family, a son. It made him wonder what offense he’d given the gods that they would ignore his plight and yet reward so richly those who ripped apart everything they touched. It didn’t seem to matter that, as far as Gaidres knew, Caelius had never ripped anyone apart. He was still a Roman. The enemy. Gaidres kept forgetting that, more often of late than ever before. It took a moment to realize Caelius had not moved and Gaidres glanced at him, cocking his head. “I thought you were interested in finding the nurse, not staring at me, Dominus.” “I could stare at you for many hours and be happily occupied.” Caelius gestured to his cooing son. “He takes to you.”

“And I, him.” There was little use in denying it. He was sure Caelius had a very clear idea of his growing attachment to the babe and his fondness for children in general. In fact, Faustus reminded Gaidres very much of Caelius. Deceptively strong, clever…beautiful. “I can see that. You are welcome to hold him any time you like. You have but to ask.” “Gratitude, Dominus.” Gaidres glanced up as Caelius rose to speak with one of the women, no doubt to request Helene be found and sent for. When the other man returned, Faustus was beginning to fuss. “He is hungry, just as you expected.” Caelius chuckled. “He often is.” They both sought to soothe the infant as they waited for Helene, who whisked Faustus away. With the babe gone and the other children engrossed in a game of their own making, Gaidres found himself at a loss for what to say. He glanced at Caelius. “I should find the men and see to joining their training.” Though formal duties in the villa had been suspended for the day in respect to Valeriana’s laying to rest, surely he could find a man or two willing to spar. “Do you need me to stay?” It was, after all, his primary duty to protect Caelius. “No, go. I fear you will find protecting me boring while here at the villa. It would take a foolhardy man to try to get at me here. It’s while we are in town and when there are visitors that you need to be wary.” Gaidres glanced around the courtyard and its sense of warm comfort. “I think I understand, Dominus. Your people

would die to protect you.” It was a strange group. They seemed to regard Caelius as not just their dominus, but almost as a friend. At the meal last evening, they didn’t just tell him about the running of the villa, but about their families and themselves, from a new babe Demetrius said was destined to be a fine playmate for Faustus to news of the death of an old woman, at which Caelius showed genuine remorse. Even more confounding was their reaction to his presence as Caelius’s personal guard. No one seemed to question his position at all and it felt strange. Had he been a slave so long that he no longer remembered how to be anything else? None of the slaves or other guards looked askance at him being amongst them. It was a strange feeling, yet not unpleasant. “And I them, Gaidres. All of them.” Caelius caught Gaidres’s eyes, and he got the sense that the other man included him in that group. Unsure how to respond to that, he rose, inclining his head. “You know where to find me if you have need of me.” Gaidres strode away, and it took a moment for him to realize he had company. He glanced over to find Caelius hurrying along beside him. “I’d like to watch, if you do not mind.” Gaidres did mind, but shook his head instead. It wasn’t that he cared if Caelius wanted to watch them train. It was his right and the mark of a good master to show interest in the condition of his men. The fact was, however, that Caelius was a distraction. Even thoughts of him were a

distraction and in battle, feigned or otherwise, distraction could be deadly. Best he get used to it, though, because come the Lupercalia when Gaidres and others from the ludus were set to debut, Caelius would be watching then. Better to become accustomed to the feel of his gaze on him here and now, where it would not mean Gaidres’s head separated from his neck. Caelius frowned at him as they approached the other men gathered behind the barracks. “Would you rather I did not?” Gaidres gave him a sharp look. “Do as you will, Dominus.” And cease with asking for his opinion as if it mattered. Perhaps it might here, in this strange villa that seemed apart from the rest of the world and a Republic that destroyed everything it touched, but this was not his world. It would never be. He could not get used to the way it was here. Not even two days yet and already he was beginning to forget his cell, his shackles, his purpose. By the gods, he was becoming the fool Demos forever accused him of being. He moved forward to join the other men and did his best to pretend Caelius wasn’t there, throwing himself into the sparring. It was easier said than done. Occasionally, as he’d turn to block a swing of his opponent’s sword, he’d catch sight of Caelius along the building behind them, leaning against the wall. Any other man of Caelius’s status would have several

servants nearby, one for shade, one to bring him wine, another to fan him even though it wasn’t so hot here by the sea. But, as he’d already come to find out, Caelius was not like every man of his status. Why was that so difficult to wrap his mind around? Caught gathering wool, Gaidres took a hard blow across his back and was grateful they sparred with wooden swords and not live ones. Still, he heard the faint sound from Caelius’s direction and glanced over to see concern on his face. Gaidres didn’t know why, but the sight of Caelius worried for him made something akin to anger rise up. What was wrong with Caelius? Why did he not know the rules of the world when everyone else, even Gaidres, did? And why did he insist on trying to make Gaidres play by those rules of his, bent as they were? As the match continued, Gaidres’s temper grew, his own strikes and blows growing more fierce, more uncontrolled until he stopped, meeting his opponent’s eyes. “Apologies. I fear other duties call,” he ground out. He threw down the rudis and strode toward Caelius, who saw him coming and straightened, eyes widening as if he knew what was coming. “I would speak with you, Dominus,” he hissed, glancing around. “Alone.” Caelius shivered and his mouth went dry. By the gods, the man was stunning when a full fury was on him, and he

hadn’t had the pleasure of seeing Gaidres like this in several weeks. It made his whole body tremble. Gaidres had never looked more like a lion than he did now, standing out in the full sunlight and facing him down. Proud and dangerous. Though right now he was more akin to a lion with a thorn lodged in his paw. “As you wish, Gaidres.” Caelius turned toward his quarters. Caelius wished he had known Gaidres before his life had been destroyed. Then he might not feel so much like he was foundering in dangerous waters. Had Gaidres always been so moody or had it only been since he lost his home and lover? Or maybe it was just because Caelius wouldn’t act in the manner Gaidres expected. That would be upsetting to a man so intent on hating all things Roman. If that was the problem, then Gaidres would just have to adjust. He wasn’t about to turn into a tyrant to justify his lover’s anger. Perhaps it would rattle the man enough to knock him out of the mental and emotional rut he had gotten into. Gaidres didn’t say a word as he stalked behind him, so close that Caelius imagined he could feel Gaidres’s hot breath against the nape of his neck. He didn’t know what brought about this change in his gladiator and he didn’t care at all. He just wanted to be alone with him so he could revel in the full force of Gaidres’s passion. “Leave us,” Caelius said to his attendants as they entered his rooms. “I’ll send for you if we need anything.” They left with silent, curious glances. When they reached

their room, Caelius turned toward Gaidres, who lingered just inside the doorway. He was a sight to behold, all glistening muscles and skin smudged with dust from his brief sparring. Caelius bit his lip, shivering. “Gaidres…” But Gaidres shook his head, holding up one hand. Caelius held his breath, heart racing out of control. Oh gods help him, his lion was going to devour him. He could see it coming and had not a single drop of desire to get out of the way of the oncoming assault. “Remove your robe.” It wasn’t a question. It was an order, spoken in a deceptively quiet tone. Gaidres’s expression belied the calm in his voice. His man was strung tight as a drum and the knowledge that he had caused such a reaction thrilled Caelius. Shaking hands obeyed the command and lifted to loosen the draped fabric, allowing it to fall in one motion to puddle around his feet. He had never felt so exposed, and it made him want to beg, to kneel and crawl and worship Gaidres as his own personal god. The things the man did to him, it was insanity. His breath caught when Gaidres strode toward him, the intensity in his gaze and the purpose in his body making Caelius stumble backward on pure instinct. It served no purpose. Gaidres just shoved him back against the wall. Caelius panted, eyes wide, their faces so close as Gaidres stared down at him. He trembled under Gaidres’s splayed hand, which had not moved from his chest. “Please, Gaidres…” He needed to be touched. He needed Gaidres in every way.

Gaidres’s eyes swept over him and he could almost feel them travel over his skin. “Your cock already rises to attention and I have not truly touched you yet, Dominus.” “You arouse my body with ease.” That wasn’t the only thing that Gaidres aroused in him, but he had no intention of driving away his lion again with tender talk. He moved to touch Gaidres and a sharp shake of his lover’s head had Caelius dropping his hands again. “Gaidres.” Gaidres braced his hands on either side of Caelius and already Caelius missed the feel of his lover’s hand on him. “You play the wanton. What would you do for a touch?” Gaidres lowered his head, lips not quite brushing Caelius’s skin. His heart pounded as he felt the trail of Gaidres’s breath, teasing as he craved more. “For a kiss?” “Anything.” Caelius lifted shaky hands to grip Gaidres’s hard arms. “I’d do anything you demand.” Gaidres’s gaze flicked up to him as his mouth hovered over Caelius’s chest, making his nipples tighten. Gaidres’s eyes were wicked and Caelius had no doubt that Gaidres would dare to make demands of him that no one else had before. “Do you truly wish to give me such power?” Caelius gasped as Gaidres’s teeth closed on one nipple, giving it a rough tug. He arched into his lover, his hands tightening on Gaidres’s arms. “Yes, for you. Gaidres, please.” Gaidres straightened then and Caelius waited, wondering what he would demand. Whatever it was, Caelius would give it without hesitation. He trembled, eyes closing briefly as Gaidres slid one hand up to flick

Caelius’s nipple, still damp from his lover’s mouth. “Turn around.” Thank the gods for the wall, because that low, rough order nearly had Caelius’s knees buckling beneath him. He turned, breath hitching at the brush of Gaidres’s body against his own. The rough material of Gaidres’s subligar felt deliciously abrasive as Caelius’s bare ass rubbed against it. Facing the wall, he pressed his hands against it, head turned, breath shaky. “Now what?” Caelius could hardly breathe. It was torture, waiting for every demand, wondering what Gaidres would want, what he might make him do. Delicious, wicked torture. “Now I am going to make you scream, Caelius. And beg. And you will know who is the master between us.” Before Caelius could respond, Gaidres dropped to his knees and jerked Caelius’s hips back from the wall, strong hands spreading his cheeks. Oh…Jupiter, grant mercy. Caelius cried out as his lover’s tongue pushed within him and if he had the breath he might have told Gaidres that he knew exactly who mastered whom. He could sooner control the position of the moon in the sky than control Gaidres. Nor did he want to. He loved Gaidres the way that he was. A fierce lion in battle, a gentle protector when he cradled Faustus. Caelius could not stomach trying to force or cage a man such as Gaidres, yet he was helpless to free his gladiator until the man allowed him to do so. Caelius’s hands curled on the wall, his cheek pressed against the cool stone as Gaidres’s tongue drove into him.

He moaned his lover’s name, crying out again as Gaidres’s tongue left him, leaving him aching and empty. A rough nip on the cheek of his ass sent a shudder through him. “Gaidres…Gaidres, please.” “What do you beg for, Caelius?” Caelius trembled at the sound of his name on Gaidres’s lips in that low growl. He sagged against the wall, looking over his shoulder at his lover. “For you. For whatever you would have me say.” He sank down onto his knees, twisting to face Gaidres. The raw desire on his face made Caelius’s heart pound faster. “Please, Gaidres.” He wet his lips. “I beg you, let me touch you. Let me feel you inside of me. Would you have me crawl? I’d do it. Would you have me scream your name? Whatever you desire.” Gaidres groaned, leaning in, lips so close but never touching Caelius’s. “I would have you crawl, Caelius.” His voice was a rough whisper that sent shivers dragging down Caelius’s spine. “But I will make you scream whether you wish to or not.” Caelius bit his lip, leaning closer and groaning when Gaidres leaned back. Caelius did crawl then, all over Gaidres as his lover stretched back on his elbows. Caelius straddled him, rubbing against him, hands splayed on that beautiful, strong chest. “But I do wish it. I always wish it. Were it possible, I would never be parted from you or your cock, my lion.” To have Gaidres with him constantly…The idea made Caelius’s heart race. Hours spent with nothing but loving on their minds and pleasure at their fingertips.

Gaidres bucked his hips then, rolling Caelius to his back and pushing his thighs wide. Caelius moaned, arching under him, hands roaming over every inch he could reach. This was how he liked his gladiator best. Wild, rough, dominant. Taking him, pinning him, his weight against Caelius a sensual pleasure all its own. “Please, Gaidres, I need you. Please…come inside…” His fingers found Gaidres’s nipples, and some wicked part of him couldn’t resist the urge to twist one. Gaidres shouted and Caelius laughed, winding his legs around Gaidres’s hips and twisting beneath him. “Hurry, my lion, before I grow claws of my own and take what I want.” “You’d dare mark me?” He growled and grabbed Caelius’s hands, pinning them down. Caelius adored the laughter and hunger in Gaidres’s eyes, even as he ached for more of both. “I would.” Caelius arched against him. “And then I’d see them as you sparred with the guards and know my hands put them there.” Gaidres dropped a hard kiss onto his lips, leaving them tingling and wanting for a deeper taste of him. “Get the oil.” He released Caelius’s wrists and sat back with a grin. “And, Caelius, I would have you crawl to retrieve it.” Caelius pushed up on to his hands and knees, shivering in anticipation as Gaidres’s gaze went straight to Caelius’s ass. He trembled as he began to crawl away. Gaidres’s hand came down with a rough crack on one cheek. “Never have I seen such a plump ass, Caelius.” Caelius shot him a glance over his shoulder as he made

his way on shaky knees to the bedside where the oil sat. “And you know just how much pleasure there is to be found when you’re inside of me.” He knelt up, his fingers closing on the small bottle as Gaidres groaned behind him. Caelius looked at him again, smiling in invitation as he pulled himself up onto the bed. “Come take what’s yours, Gaidres. Make me scream as you promised.” He couldn’t stop the constant shivers as Gaidres rose with all the grace of the lion Caelius had named him for and approached the bed. His mouth went dry as Gaidres stripped away his subligar, pausing beside the bed to remove his sandals before climbing onto the bed. Gaidres reached out and snatched the oil from his hand, leaning in close, forcing him back until he sprawled across the bed, breathing hard and staring up at his lover. His power was undeniable, so potent that Caelius felt drunk with it. “Spread your thighs for me.” Caelius moaned and obeyed, one leg hooking high on Gaidres’s hip, holding the other close against his chest. “Please…” Gaidres removed the stopper from the bottle and tossed it aside, smirking. Caelius felt light-headed with anticipation. His wait did not last longer than a breath before Gaidres tipped the open bottle over him, spilling the warm oil over Caelius’s stomach and groin. He gasped, arching, eyes squeezing shut as Gaidres slid his fingers through the oil, slicking them, and then down between

Caelius’s spread thighs to rub his entrance and cleft. “Gods, yes,” he breathed, hips lifting. Gaidres pushed his fingers inside and Caelius groaned at the familiar wash of pleasure. “The gods have nothing to do with what’s between us.” His breath caught on a rush of hope before he realized that Gaidres only meant the passion that they shared. One day, gods willing, he’d win Gaidres’s respect and then his heart. He leaned up and nipped Gaidres’s jaw before sliding his mouth to his lover’s ear. “Gaidres.” He groaned as those wicked fingers twisted inside him and made the craving to be filled by him even stronger. “Please, Gaidres, do not make me wait any longer.” “I do not think you’re hungry enough, Caelius.” Gaidres’s eyes glinted as he drove his fingers harder into Caelius’s ass. “Words still fall too easily from your lips.” Caelius gasped as Gaidres found his spot and manipulated it ruthlessly. “Gaidres!” He dragged his nails down his lover’s back, smiling as Gaidres shuddered in return. “You drive me mad. Please.” He slicked his fingers in the oil on his stomach and circled them around Gaidres’s cock. Caelius stroked, giving Gaidres a squeeze every time the man thrust with his fingers. “Yes.” Gaidres hissed, rocking his hips into Caelius’s hand. It was too much. It was not enough. Caelius stroked tighter, hips lifting to Gaidres’s touch. “Please…more,

Gaidres, hurry.” He could not take the madness, the overwhelming need. Gaidres seemed of the same mind, his growls rougher, thrusts deeper, and his mouth hot on Caelius’s neck. Before Caelius could plead again, Gaidres’s fingers were gone from him and he cried out with choked breath as Gaidres dropped his weight on him. The warm, blunt head of his lover’s cock nudged against him. “Yes! Gaidres!” He arched as Gaidres thrust deep, their mutual shouts echoing off the walls. If any doubt remained among his household as to their relationship, it was surely put to rest now. “Caelius…by the gods…” Caelius laughed shakily, fingers digging into the strong muscles of his lover’s back. “The gods have naught to do with this, remember?” Gaidres’s eyes narrowed and his mouth twitched. “Cease your taunting, else I’ll turn you over my knee and warm your ass rather than fuck it.” Caelius laughed and clung to him. He loved his gladiator so, and could not help but believe that Gaidres might one day return the emotion. “Threatening me with that which I might find pleasurable will serve no purpose, my lion.” Gaidres rolled, tugging Caelius up over him to ride him, hands rough and eyes fierce. “You are a wicked man…a whore, as you so easily admitted once.” Caelius shuddered. “Gods, yes…for you, the most wanton of all.” Gaidres slid his hands down Caelius’s thighs. “You look

so wild and beautiful when you ride me.” Caelius warmed inside. Gaidres had never said such things before in the midst of their pleasure. Oh, he’d mention Caelius’s tight ass or wicked nature, but nothing more tender or personal. He drove his hips down hard and fast, reveling in the sensation of Gaidres filling him, the way his lover looked at him with raw desire on his face. “You’re the untamed one, my gladiator.” And he would always have it so. “Your gladiator,” Gaidres rasped, driving his hips and making Caelius shudder in response. “It is you who are mine, Caelius…right here, right now.” Gaidres’s hands slid back up to grip Caelius’s hips hard, his eyes intent on Caelius’s face. “You are mine.” Caelius nodded and leaned over him, trembling as Gaidres’s hands moved to caress his back and ass. “Yes…yes, Gaidres, I’m yours. Ever yours.” Gaidres’s lips teased his jaw. His teeth nipped the tender skin of Caelius’s throat as his mouth worked its way over to Caelius’s ear. “So hot and tight, my Caelius. I dream of being inside you.” Caelius shuddered again with a desperate whimper. Gaidres’s words would drive him more out of his mind than his lover’s considerable bed-skills. “Please…please… more.” More words, more passion, more of everything that Gaidres was willing to give him. Caelius kissed Gaidres’s chest, rubbed against him as he clenched around Gaidres’s cock. “Please don’t stop.” “I have no intention of such.” Gaidres drove his hips up,

strong arms holding Caelius against his chest. Caelius’s eyes squeezed closed, unable to catch his breath as Gaidres sped his thrusts. He had no time to recover from one devastating thrust before another followed and stole what remained of his senses. Over and over in a never-ending cycle of mindless pleasure. It was madness what this one man could do to him, twisting him into knots inside. Every sensation was more, almost too much. Gaidres’s rough fingertips roamed over him and Caelius nearly came at the simple brush of his thumb against the tender flesh of his inner thigh. Gaidres laughed at his visceral reaction and Caelius narrowed his eyes and raked his nails down his gladiator’s sides in retaliation. “Wicked bitch,” Gaidres snarled and Caelius let out a breathless cry as his lover shifted them without warning, flipping Caelius onto his hands and knees and driving into him hard from behind. By the gods, the man was so strong, Caelius thrilled every time Gaidres showed that strength and took Caelius however he pleased. “Gods yes…Gaidres, fuck me…” Gaidres panted hard, hands bruising on Caelius’s hips. “What is it…you think…I am doing…?” Caelius laughed and lowered his chest to the bed, rocking back to meet those hard, almost brutal thrusts. “Owning me, my gladiator…you are owning me.” Gaidres held him captive, both with his hands and the words that continued to fall from his lips. Dirty words of possession and desire. Caelius dug his hands into the

silken sheet, holding on in desperation as his cries grew louder. “Please…please, Gaidres,” he begged with lips that had gone dry from his pleading and still Gaidres fucked him in a relentless rhythm. Gaidres stretched out over him, the heat from his body making Caelius tremble as the tension became almost unbearable. He was so close. The need inside him screamed for release. Caelius cried out in desperation as Gaidres’s calloused hand closed around his cock. “Now, Caelius, now you will scream for me.” And Caelius did as each hard thrust struck that spot inside him that made all thoughts but one fly away. He was Gaidres’s in every way. He screamed Gaidres’s name, begged when he found breath, between strokes. Gaidres’s teeth nipped his ear, rough need in his lover’s voice as he whispered, “Come for me, my Caelius.” He was helpless to do anything but obey. “Gaidres.” His orgasm tore through him with deep shudders of release. Gaidres’s cock throbbed inside him and Caelius whimpered as he felt his lover’s seed spill inside him, marking him as surely as the bruises on his hips or the scratch marks he’d left on Gaidres’s back and sides. For several moments, neither of them moved and then Gaidres slipped out of him, dropping to the bed beside him. They stared at each other, still panting, hearts pounding and faces mere inches apart. Gaidres’s mouth was so close. Would he go? The uncertainty was an ache deep inside

him. He’d never found himself wary of speaking until Gaidres had come into his life. As they lay back on the silken bed coverings he kissed Gaidres with all of the tenderness he couldn’t hide at the moment. “Stay…please.” “You ask much.” Caelius brushed his fingers along Gaidres’s jaw. “I know. Stay.” He didn’t answer, but he didn’t move, either. Gaidres held him, letting Caelius curl against him until their breathing began to even out and they both drifted into a nap.

Chapter Thirteen Gaidres glanced about the bustling marketplace in Caere as Felix haggled over new ink and fine parchment. It was strange to be outside without a doctoré present and with Caelius all the way at the villa. He’d never been so unattended before. “He will have the ink ready in a few hours.” Felix cut into his thoughts. “In the meanwhile, my stomach protests for lack of attention.” “I saw a tavern not far from where we arrived.” Gaidres pointed in the direction and Felix’s vivid blue-green eyes lit with pleasure. Gaidres wasn’t sure what to make of Caelius’s shadow. Where one man was, the other wasn’t far behind. He hadn’t noticed it in Fidena, but it was clear in Caere, now that Gaidres was free to wander, that Felix was Caelius’s friend, as well as his scribe. Neither said much as they retraced their steps back to the tavern and found seats at a small table near the door. As Felix wiped the table off with a cloth from his belt, Gaidres smirked. No wonder Caelius and the scribe got along so well. They were both inordinately neat. More silence as the barmaid brought them cups of wine and bowls of hearty stew and crusty bread. Gaidres glanced up from his bowl and met the young scribe’s eyes. “I confess I do not care to eat in silence.” He shrugged. “Too many meals taken in my cell, I suppose.” “I can understand that.” Felix seemed to cast about for an appropriate subject. “Are you enjoying our time in

Caere? Dominus is very fond of his home here.” “I am.” It was oddly true. He enjoyed spending time with the children and training with the guards, and though they had their moments, he and Caelius had settled into a semicomfortable pattern of sex, meals, light conversation and more sex. “I know he has missed being here. He does not care for Fidena and I think he would never return if he did not have to.” “You see the truth in matters.” Felix studied Gaidres with a shrewd expression before he nodded without a word. Gaidres got the impression he’d been judged yet had no idea what conclusion Felix had come to. “Though I think the change has been good for him. Dominus takes care of his own, that is true, and he does not shirk what he feels is his duty, but some would argue that he spent a little too much time pursuing his own pleasures. I think his eyes have been opened to what is important to him and what isn’t.” He shrugged, feeling a little uncomfortable talking about Caelius in such a manner. Still, his curiosity had him asking, “You sound as if you’ve known him a long time.” “Long enough. The old dominus owed my father a favor. When I came of age he had me come to live with him so I could share Caelius’s tutors. My family did not have the money to educate a youngest son, not in the manner I craved.” Felix dipped some bread into his stew and gave Gaidres a sardonic smile. “At that time Dominus was not interested in studying.” Felix didn’t elaborate, but Gaidres had heard enough rumors of Caelius’s hedonism in the past, not to mention

having personal experience, to guess at what Caelius had been interested in other than studying. He wasn’t taken to drink, or gluttony. He didn’t gamble, or harm others. But pleasures of the flesh? There was one subject in which Caelius Laraniia excelled. Gaidres had a brief mental image of a young Caelius, all long limbs and mischievous eyes, newly discovering desires and the myriad ways to sate them. He had to bite back a groan. Now that he would have liked to have seen. “He ran wild, did he?” Gaidres could not imagine it of the man now, but there was enough left of that reckless youth that he could imagine him. What a sight he must have been. Felix shook his head with a quiet laugh. “His poor father. He tried, but what did he know about his son? They loved each other, of course, but neither ever quite understood the other.” Felix shrugged one slim shoulder. “It did not matter. They learned to accept each other despite their differences and Caelius learned to curb his excesses and managed not to waste his intelligence.” He glanced down at his bowl, then back up at Felix. “He is very unusual…in other ways.” It felt disloyal to speak of Caelius so, and that in itself startled him. “Is that why? No one ever dared to set him right and he just designed his own vision of how the world ought to be?” And built it, here in Caere. “That was the one area where they agreed. His father was a visionary and perhaps kept Caelius a little too sheltered. He raised him here in Caere, surrounded by people he’d known his entire life, who had been given the

same care Caelius now gives them.” Felix frowned as he set aside his bowl and gestured for more wine. “He did not know much of the world outside the villa. It is one thing to hear about it from tutors or scrolls but it wasn’t real to him. All his intelligence didn’t prepare him for what life would be like after his father passed.” The loss of his father must have been devastating. “It’s clear he took charge and made sure his people wanted for nothing.” Felix’s gaze grew distant. “He did. I wish the old dominus could have seen it. He would have been proud. There were times when he despaired that Caelius would ever learn responsibility. Perhaps it took people depending on him to waken it in him.” In some ways Gaidres thought that Caelius still might be a little too cosseted against the realities of life. Though perhaps coming to Fidena had shown him the world was unlikely to change, despite his efforts. “It is why he got involved in politics, you know. His father urged him to join the military, but I think you can imagine how well that thought was received.” He chuckled. “Caelius, a soldier? Easier I become a senator.” “Exactly. He has a quicksilver mind and ideas only the greatest philosophers could decipher, but he has not the constitution for war. Unfortunately, as he has discovered, politics is another kind of war.” Felix pressed his lips together and reached for his cup. “No less bloody, however.”

Gaidres frowned. “Why does he not return here permanently, turn his mind to the sciences, philosophy? Why bother with Fidena and the senate at all?” Felix lifted his brows, giving Gaidres a long look. “Do you not know the answer to that? If you know him at all, you do not need me to tell you.” No, he didn’t need Felix to tell him why. “Doesn’t he know one man cannot change the world?” The scribe laughed. “No, he does not, but that is only part of why he stayed. He had not decided what to do with the ludus and the villa in Fidena when he first went to assess the situation. He could very easily have hired others to run the ludus and never dirtied his hands with it.” Gaidres frowned. “I do not understand.” Felix rolled his eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh. “You are a fool, then.” “You sound much like my friend Demos.” There was a faint sparkle in Felix’s eyes and a twitch to his mouth. “Do I, now? Perhaps this Demos knows of what he speaks.” Gaidres cocked his head, not quite certain what to make of Felix’s smooth tone. “He would like to think he does, but if I tell Demos that he would harp on it without end.” “I think you and Caelius share a common trait.” Gaidres sat back, wary with the way Felix looked at him. Curiosity won out. Beyond mutual pleasure he couldn’t think of anything he shared with Caelius. Except of course, fascination with Faustus. “And what is this trait you speak

of?” “Neither of you cares to face the truth even if others make it a point to tell you.” Gaidres’s jaw dropped and a satisfied smile touched Felix’s mouth. “You do not know of what you speak.” “Do I not?” Felix crossed his arms on the table and leaned in closer to Gaidres. “Caelius sees what he wants to see, a world filled with peace, where men are free to be happy. You only see a world filled with anger and hate. Neither of you wants to acknowledge that there is room for compromise. The world is neither a paradise nor an underworld. We make of it what we will. “Caelius stayed for two reasons. One being that he would not ask another to do what he would not himself. To leave another in charge, someone who might not show the same concern toward men he was asking to die, would be repugnant to him. It would seem the worst sort of cowardice.” “And the other?” he asked before he could stop himself. “He stays for want and care of you.” The scribe was daft. That was the only explanation. That, or a worse romantic than even Kerses had been. He shook his head, pacing Caelius’s chambers. Felix had not struck him as anything but pragmatic and logical. Which meant he believed what he’d said. That Caelius had stayed for him. Because he cared? That was absurd. Caelius desired him, he knew that and

would never deny it. Caelius liked him some of the time, when Gaidres wasn’t behaving like a horse’s ass. But that was not what Felix had meant. He was still pacing, puzzling over their conversation, when a noise at the entryway of the chamber alerted him to another’s presence. Gaidres stilled, glancing up, and met smiling dark eyes. By the gods, the man smiled so much. Except for the times he didn’t, in which case Gaidres was usually at fault. Guilt stabbed him and he pushed it down, unwilling to examine it further. “You are back.” Caelius set an armful of scrolls on the table against the wall. “Did all go well on your trip into town?” “Yes, Dominus. Felix found all he needed.” “Good. He gets in a terrible state when he cannot find the supplies he requires.” Gaidres hesitated, part of him curious, the other part saying he’d be a fool to tell his dominus they’d been discussing him. But part of him could not resist the urge to know more. “You have been friends a long time, or so he said.” Best to start with something mundane to test whether Caelius would take offense or not. Caelius chuckled ruefully. “Felix is not one to say that he despised me almost immediately or that it lasted for many a year before we became friends. He is a good man. I value both his counsel and his friendship.” He relaxed when Caelius’s amused expression did not falter. He did not seem to mind that they’d been discussing him. “He did not give indication that he hated you.”

“He wouldn’t. He is much too circumspect for that.” Caelius stacked the scrolls. “I did not value what he wanted so dearly. He craved learning the way others crave fine wine, and my tutors bored me. He thought me spoiled, and he was right. I was that and more.” Caelius turned away from the table and gave Gaidres a penetrating look. “What else did he tell you?” Gaidres shifted guiltily and went to pour them both a goblet of wine to cover his reaction. “He seems to hold you in high regard now. We meant no disrespect, Dominus.” Caelius took the wine with an impatient sound. “Men who fear tongues wagging fear to face the truth about themselves. I care not that you talked about me. I trust Felix and I trust you, Gaidres. I have earned Felix’s respect, though it took a long time. I feared after my father died that he would desert me and move on elsewhere. He owed my father, not me, but for some reason I was able to convince him to stay.” Caelius trailed off, his face thoughtful as he sipped his wine and Gaidres wondered what serious thoughts the other man was contemplating. “I hope I have earned your respect, Gaidres, and that you don’t give it to me just because I am dominus here.” He was of two minds about that subject. On the one hand, yes, he respected Caelius’s care for his household. Yet on the other, he could not ignore that it was men like Caelius, so unaware of the harsh reality of the world outside their self-built palaces, who caused devastation wherever they went.

“I do not give any man that which he does not deserve,” Gaidres said, though he knew that was not the answer Caelius likely wanted. “I have great respect for the care you show those who rely on you.” “Gratitude.” Caelius sighed and looked like he might say more, then stopped, seeming to change his mind. “How was it in the market? Someone or another often has need of an escort into town. I would not send you, however, if it was not something you would favor. But if you would like…” He let the question trail off. Gaidres’s brows furrowed. “It was strange. It had been years since last I went anywhere without a heavy guard or chains.” He thought about it and then shrugged. “I would sooner stay here and teach the little ones or train.” “They are fond of you.” “And I, them.” Gaidres set down his goblet and reached for Caelius’s hand. It was smooth, not the hand of a man who worked hard. There were no calluses and scars like there were on his. Still, after coming to Caere, seeing Caelius most of the day instead of only when he called for him, he’d discovered that Caelius worked as hard as anyone else in the household to make sure everyone had what they needed. He was a bit blind to life perhaps, but he was neither lazy nor thoughtless. He let that soft hand go. “What deep thoughts occupy your mind, my gladiator?” Caelius stepped closer to him with a curious light in his dark eyes. Gaidres grinned at him and shook his head. He’d had

enough of deep thoughts today. “Felix also told me of the havoc you caused here when you were young.” He watched, delighted, as Caelius’s eyes widened and his cheeks became a trifle pink. “Did he? I am sure there were far more interesting things to discuss than my escapades. It is a wonder my father did not have me beaten.” Gaidres chuckled as Caelius looked away from him. Here was a new side to the other man. “Surely you could not have been as bad as he claimed. Not that he went into any great detail.” Caelius winced a little, casting him a sheepish, smiling look out of the corner of his eye. “I do not think he needed to…what did he say?” He looked as if half of him wanted to know while the other half was afraid to ask. It was the most amusing thing Gaidres had experienced in some time. He crossed his arms over his chest, intending on enjoying this to the fullest. “Oh, he did not say much. He did, however, imply a great deal.” Gaidres laughed at Caelius’s expression and moved to stand in front of him. “Were you truly so wild a lad?” Caelius shoved him, which only made Gaidres laugh more. “I am going to kill him, you know. And the fault will lie at your feet.” He snorted. “Oh no, I’ll not be taking the blame. Now enough empty threats, tell me. I have visions of you running naked through these halls, pouncing the first ready man you see.” Caelius closed his eyes while the color on his cheeks

deepened. “You are not too far from the target.” His jaw dropped. “But I was just jesting.” He opened his eyes and shrugged. “I was curious and had not learned discretion yet. No, I did not run through the halls naked. That came later, after my father passed. I’ve had some rather notorious parties. My poor father. I was determined to seduce every man who caught my eye. Men of all ages. I was not afraid to experiment and my father had quite a few visitors. “For the most part, I was not interested in those I had known most of my life, so the household was spared that. I did try, and failed to lure Felix in. But any other who stepped through those doors? Well, let us just say they were caught between me and my father’s displeasure.” Gaidres had a flash of wicked eyes and beckoning lips. He knew just how devastating a look from Caelius could be. He groaned under his breath. “Now that would have been a sight to see.” What was it about the man that made him so much of a temptation? Caelius was beautiful, yes, but many men were. He had spent the last years surrounded by men in the very best condition, the finest specimens. And while he’d slaked his lust with them, he’d never found himself drawn to them the way he was with Caelius. He took a step forward, intending to take those smiling lips and see if he could coax forth a few more blushes, when a piercing wail echoed in the hall and Helene appeared with her arms full of red-faced, shrieking infant. A second later, it was his arms full of wailing infant as

she handed Faustus to him with a shake of her head. “He will not eat. He will not sleep. He only cries.” A heartbeat later the wails ceased and Faustus hiccupped, his splotchy little face relaxing. His eyes, so like his father’s, peered up with an expression that Gaidres would have sworn was satisfaction. “What now? Got what you wanted, did you, my boy?” He chuckled. Faustus waved a hand at him and grasped Gaidres’s finger when it strayed too close. Helene exhaled in relief. “Thank the gods.” She left the room, apparently eager to escape. Gaidres glanced up to find Caelius watching him. He hesitated, taking a step forward. “Here.” He held the babe toward him. “My apologies, Dominus, she just…” Caelius waved him off with a laugh. “I am learning that my son has a mind of his own. When he doesn’t get what he wants, he makes his displeasure known to all. He bonds with you.” Caelius’s voice took on a strange note. “As do many here in Caere.” Gaidres looked sharply at him, but Caelius was eyeing his son with a tender, unguarded expression on his face. Caelius brushed his fingers over Faustus’s dark, sweatdamped wisps of hair and the baby gave one of his chirps, though it sounded sleepy. “Perhaps you would have better luck in getting him to sleep than Helene. Now that he is calmer, he must be weary from making all that noise.” Gaidres studied the babe, torn between handing him off to Caelius and caring for Faustus himself. He’d not had opportunity to look after a child in years and he couldn’t

bring himself to let go of him now. “Gratitude, Dominus.” Caelius smiled and returned to the table with its pile of scrolls. Gaidres sat on the edge of the bed, bending his head close to look into wide, curious eyes. “Ah, little one, you do not know what you wish for, just like your father. I am not one to bond with. Do you hear me?” Faustus only made an innocent, happy sound, ignoring the warning as he lifted another little hand to tug on Gaidres’s nose. Gaidres pretended to growl, making the babe coo and wiggle. Gaidres glanced up again, unable to keep his gaze from Caelius. The other man sat, legs tucked up under him as he pored over one of his scrolls, a frown of concentration between his brows. Despite the frown, he looked content. Was this what Caelius dreamed of? It seemed the other man was skilled at creating a world that did not, could not, exist outside these walls. And for whatever reason, he’d included Gaidres in the newest daydream. Gaidres looked down to find Faustus sound asleep, thick lashes dusting soft, round cheeks and tiny fingers clutching one of his. It was not a bad dream. But that was all it was. He could not forget that. Whatever fantasies Caelius spun in his head for how all could be righted and all could be well…Gaidres knew better. And eventually, so would he. There were no walls high enough that Rome could not invade. One way or another.

Chapter Fourteen “They’re outside the gates?” Caelius rubbed the bridge of his nose as Felix gave him a rueful look. “My apologies, Dominus, but I believe that they received word of your plans to depart soon and they insist on seeing you.” He despised Valeriana’s relations. They had filled her head with all kinds of notions even as they bartered her away to him. He’d known he wouldn’t be able to leave Caere without seeing them again, but he kept putting it off. “Hold them off while I find Gaidres and then allow them in. I believe he’s in the eastern courtyard with the little ones.” He didn’t think they would attempt to slay him, but in truth, they would have guardianship of Faustus and control of his inheritance if something did happen. And that was a powerful motivator. One look at his exasperating lover should give even the most zealous of Valeriana’s family pause. As Caelius hurried to the courtyard, his thoughts turned more to Gaidres than the upcoming confrontation. The past weeks had been both bittersweet and glorious. He didn’t want to leave but every time he thought Gaidres had become accustomed to his new freedom and that he might change his mind and want to stay, the gladiator would bring up Lupercalia and the need to train with his men. It was disheartening. And Gaidres’s changing moods added to the frustration. One moment he would be tender, then angry, and other times distant. He had given up trying

to predict the whims of the man’s mind and decided to take each moment as it came, to enjoy the pleasant ones and be patient during the others. He’d found that being patient worked far better than pestering Gaidres for answers he wouldn’t give. As Caelius came around the corner, Gaidres glanced up. He straightened from where he’d been showing one of the younger boys how to grip the hilt of a small, wooden sword. “Gaidres, I have need of you.” The words were true. He had come to need the other man. He valued his counsel, his keen observations and craved the comfort of his arms. Passion and pleasure were one thing. What he was finding with Gaidres was something else. Some of his concern must have showed, because Gaidres only nodded in acknowledgement before turning to the youngsters. “Practice what I showed you, and no trying to slay each other…Nerva.” He gave the lad a pointed look, then ruffled his hair before turning back to Caelius. “This way.” Caelius gestured back toward the courtyard, thinking of Felix facing Valeriana’s family on his own. Felix could handle it. Caelius had never known anyone so eventempered. Gaidres followed him, brows furrowing. “Is something wrong?” Caelius glanced over at him, then sighed. “Valeriana’s family is here. Her father and brother. They are…much like

my wife was, only far more grasping.” Gaidres hurried his steps, forcing him to scramble to keep up. As his lover entered the front hall, his eyes sought out the slave Felix had left behind to await their return. Caelius signaled to her and she slipped away to let Felix know that he wasn’t alone anymore. “Dominus.” Gaidres glanced to the open doorway. “Shall I remove them?” “Ah, you tempt me, Gaidres, but I suppose that would be cowardice on my part.” Caelius sighed. “And I would say yes if I did not think they would just be back again. I’ve postponed this unpleasantness too long and I would not have them harass my people when I am not here.” “What do they seek?” Gaidres frowned. “Money, my support in their trade ventures, slaves to toil in their homes after they wear their own out.” Caelius shook his head. “I have given them quite a bit of money over the years and supported the trade that wasn’t foolhardy. I don’t mind being generous, but I detest seeing my gifts squandered.” “Where is Faustus?” Gaidres’s hand tightened on his sword and Caelius was not surprised to see how protective Gaidres was of his son. He spent almost as much time with Faustus as Caelius did. “They won’t try to use him as leverage, would they?” “Helene will see to it that he stays safe with her until they are gone. She knows my feelings regarding them.” The sound of footsteps and murmured words neared the room and Caelius smoothed his expression. “They’ll use the

blood tie to try to force more concessions, but I do not see how else they can use Faustus.” Two men appeared in the doorway ahead of Felix, and Caelius stepped forward to greet them. “Varius,” he greeted the older man with heavy jowls and a receding hairline. “What brings you and Avitus? I thought I made myself plain when we last spoke at Valeriana’s funeral.” It still angered him that the men would use such an occasion to further their greed. Caelius sensed Gaidres right behind him with bared sword in hand. He should have thought to have Gaidres sheathe it before coming here. Varius’s brows shot up at the sight of his guard. “Such a harsh greeting for family, Caelius. Surely you would share a cup of wine with us to discuss matters?” Caelius glanced at Gaidres, then shook his head. “There are no matters left to discuss, Varius. As I said, I plan to continue providing my support for your trade endeavors, those I find prosperous, but nothing more.” He sensed Gaidres’s tension at the look of fury that flashed across the old man’s face before he managed to mask it. That same, hateful expression had been on Valeriana’s face too often for his tastes. Avitus, her brother, took a step forward and Gaidres did, as well, putting himself slightly in front of Caelius as if daring the young man to make an attempt. Instead, Avitus had the intelligence to back down, gesturing angrily instead. “You know of our state, Caelius. Valeriana would have

insisted on giving aid. How can you dishonor her memory so soon after she was stolen from us all?” Caelius laid a hand on Gaidres’s arm and Gaidres fell back to position just behind his left shoulder. “Your state is no longer my concern, Avitus. In truth, it never was. What I did for you I did out of kindness for my wife. But you press too far. Surely you did not think I intended to supplement your incomes forever?” Caelius was surprised by the anger he sensed seething in Gaidres. He had not expected such an outright defense unless one of them actually tried something. But his lover had bristled from the moment Caelius had told him of the situation. “You will ruin us!” Avitus tensed as if to move forward, though another glance at Gaidres seemed to disabuse him of the idea. “No, you ruin yourselves. The money and goods I gave you when I took your daughter as my wife should have been enough to see to you for a very long time. I’ve given you other gifts over the years, as well, and allowed Valeriana to give more.” Varius sneered at Gaidres and stepped forward to stab his finger toward Caelius’s face. Whatever he had been going to say was lost in a cry of pain as Gaidres grabbed that finger and used it to leverage Varius back several feet before releasing him. “Shall I see them gone now, Dominus?” “Call off your guard!” Avitus shouted, reaching for the dagger at his waist.

“I wouldn’t do that.” The implied threat to his lover infuriated him. “He’s more than skilled enough to take the both of you out if you press him. Gaidres’s place is at my side, always. You would do well to remember that.” Varius’s face was white, pinched with pain, and he gestured to Avitus, who let go of the dagger. He wet his lips and peered over Gaidres’s shoulder as if he could forget the man standing between them with a naked sword in his hand. “Caelius…please…we share blood. You have my daughter’s son. How can I trust that you’ll care for him after you failed to care for her?” “You poisoned Valeriana. I’ll not allow you to poison my son. There will be no contact. Never. Not even if I die. I’ll see to it that you have nothing if something unexpected were to happen to me.” Avitus snarled and strode forward. And that seemed to spark the end of Gaidres’s patience. He did not just block him this time. He caught him by his collar and hauled him up on to his toes so they were face-to-face. “Leave this house,” he growled, eyes darting to Varius, as well. “Leave and do not come back.” Varius’s eyes grew huge and he sputtered. “You…you have no right!” Gaidres shoved Avitus toward his father and began to move forward with crowding steps that forced them backward even as they continued to protest. “Caelius has made his position clear.” He glanced back at Caelius. “A moment while I escort them out, Dominus.” He nodded and Gaidres caught both men by the back of

their tunics and propelled them out the door. Curious, he followed close enough to watch and listen. Before Gaidres released them, he leaned down to give both a hard, dangerous look. “Return to this place, threaten Caelius, threaten Faustus or any other within these walls and know that the next time I will not escort you to the gate. I will deliver you to your daughter’s side in the afterlife. Even if it means I take you there myself. These people are under my protection now and I do not take lightly your unspoken threats. Keep that thought in your small heads.” He gave them both a shove and they scurried away as the gates shut behind them. Gaidres turned to find Caelius watching, and his lover’s jaw flexed. “They will not return, Dominus.” Caelius tilted his head, trying to find words that would not come. All of his anger had disappeared in the face of Gaidres’s protectiveness. Gaidres hadn’t feigned that fury, and it filled Caelius with even more confusion. “I…I thank you, Gaidres.” Gaidres stepped forward, laying his hand on Caelius’s arm. “They’ll not hurt you, nor Faustus. I swear it, Caelius. I won’t let them.” He stared down at Gaidres’s hand, his throat working as all of Gaidres’s strange behavior this last month began to make sense. Gaidres cared. He cared deeply and was fighting it as much as he could. It could not be easy for him. The guilt had to be eating at him and Caelius’s heart went out to him even as it swelled with joy at the knowledge that he had at least a part of his gladiator’s heart.

He vowed to be far more patient from now on. If Gaidres had already unconsciously taken this step, more would follow. Caelius only had to give him the time to heal. Surely, by the time the Lupercalia came around, he would not seek death with such ardor anymore. All he could do was pray to the gods that was so and wait. “I know you won’t let anything happen.” He looked at Gaidres. “I trust you, not just with my life, but with my son’s, as well.” Gaidres looked stunned by that and tried to cover it by glancing toward the gate. “Would you like me to escort them a ways down the road, to be sure they are gone? I do not trust that they would not turn back and attempt another audience with you.” “No, I do not think they’ll be returning. And if they do, it won’t be today. We’ll be leaving for Fidena in the morning.” Even that reminder could not dampen Caelius’s happiness. “I’ll make sure the guards here are aware that Valeriana’s family is banned.” “If you wish, I could speak with the men.” Caelius touched Gaidres’s arm. “Thank you.” Gaidres still looked as if he wasn’t sure what had just happened. “If you have no more need of me, I will go and see to it.” Of course he had need of Gaidres. He needed him the way he needed breath and food. But he just smiled again. “Of course.” Gaidres cared. That eased all the frustration and confusion he’d been feeling. Only now he had to be careful

not to push the other man too hard. As much as he longed to return to Fidena with Gaidres as his acknowledged free lover and not a gladiator, Gaidres wasn’t ready for that step. In truth, he suspected that if Gaidres knew the direction of his thoughts he’d put up such walls that it would be months before Caelius could wear them down again. He must be patient and try not to be obvious about his own feelings. He thought he had managed so far, but he wasn’t in the habit of keeping his mask on around those who mattered the most. Patience and time…that was all he could give Gaidres now, no matter how much his heart longed to give more. “You’ve returned.” Gaidres glanced up as Hierocles approached. “Dominus thought it best to not be away from the ludus for long. The Lupercalia is fast approaching and he is keen to oversee the training.” That wasn’t exactly true. Caelius would have much preferred to remain in Caere indefinitely, but it was not feasible with so much to be done. He would miss the easy way of things there, as well, but here was where he belonged. Even if Caelius refused to see it. “I have been training. Perhaps you could mention as much to him.” Hierocles’s jaw tightened. “You do have his ear.” Gaidres bit back a sigh. He did not relish the idea of crushing a man’s hope, but it would be crueler to let

Hierocles think anything could come of it. “You should not. That time has passed. Dominus has made his decision and Doctoré agrees.” Hierocles and the others would not recover their strength enough to ever set foot in the arena again. However much they might wish to, and however much he might understand that wish. It was impossible. Hierocles narrowed his eyes. “And do you? Agree?” “I do. I am sorry, Hierocles. Be grateful, Dominus has given you other duties and has no desire to see any of you leave his household.” He clapped the other man on the shoulder. “I understand your anger, but it is not Caelius who deserves the blame.” Hierocles pressed his lips together and looked away. “No. You are right. He is not to blame.” “Good. See to helping unload the wagons and then find your bed. There is much to do before the Lupercalia.” Gaidres was relieved when Hierocles left to do as instructed. It would be a hard adjustment, but the former gladiator would make the transition. They all had adjustments to make, but for the first time since Caelius had arrived in the ludus and announced his plans for change, Gaidres had hope. His lover might be right. Perhaps there was more to be had from this life he’d found himself in than revenge. Perhaps. Hierocles tossed another blade onto the pile. Dominus had ordered only the best equipment for his ludus. There wasn’t a flaw or weakness to be exploited among any of the

swords favored by Argon. The exhibition was in only a few days and Argon had done nothing to fall from the dominus’s favor. If anything, his influence had grown. It would be Argon fighting with bared blades at the conclusion of the exhibition. Argon and his closest friend, Demos. He must have spent the last month on his knees, sucking the dominus’s cock for such a favor. And then to hear that Argon would likely battle in the primus at the Lupercalia…It had sent Hierocles into a fury. If only he had known ahead of time that the dominus had planned to take Argon with him on his journey. There had seemed to be a falling out between them and he had rejoiced, until he’d woken up one morning to find both of them gone. At first he’d worried over what poison Argon was whispering in the dominus’s ear, but as the weeks passed, he began to hope that they wouldn’t return and if they did Argon would be out of practice. He’d been wrong on both counts. Hierocles ground his teeth together and selected the finest blade. If a flaw could not be found, a flaw would have to be created. He glanced toward the door of his workshop, but the guard was paying him no mind. One of the girls from the villa had come down to bring the meal and whisper sensual promises in the man’s ear. He hefted the blade in his hand. This would be the one Argon chose. It had perfect balance and a fine grip. He stoked the fire higher and laid the sword over the coals, concentrating the heat on the center where most of the blows would land. When he was a boy he had worked at a

forge with his uncle and he still had some skills, enough that he’d been able to convince the dominus that he was the ideal person to care for the equipment. He listened to the murmur of voices behind him as he waited for the blade to reach the proper dark yellow color. His heart raced and sweat trickled down the side of his face. He pulled out the blade and tossed it into the barrel of water, smirking in satisfaction at the serpentine hiss that came from the hot blade. Once the blade had cooled Hierocles pulled it from the water and examined it. Excitement stirred in his gut as he carried it to the table. After he repolished it no one would be able to tell it had been tampered with. And if he had done it right, the blade would not last through a battle. Argon would not fight in the primus. He deserved no such honor and Hierocles refused to allow it. One way or another, Argon’s downfall would happen in a few days. Whether through disgrace, injury or death, he did not care. He picked up the polishing cloths with a sneer, imagining everything that could go wrong when this blade failed the arrogant Thracian. The final exhibition would be glorious and if it brought embarrassment to the dominus, that was only another pleasure to savor.

Chapter Fifteen Gaidres leaned against the smooth, stone wall, arms crossed over his chest, and watched with amusement as Caelius scurried about. He’d been doing just that all morning, preparing this, changing that, adjusting the other thing. It was rather entertaining to see him ruffled. “No! No, that won’t do. Fetch the wine I asked for, not this watered-down stuff!” Caelius immediately looked guilty. “I did not intend to bark at you,” he told the young woman clutching the wine jug. “Just go and get the other wine. And make sure everyone knows I insist the finest be served today.” Gaidres’s lips twitched as Caelius turned and their eyes met. “Calm yourself, Dominus. It is not Jupiter himself coming to pay a visit.” He looked so tense. Caelius sighed and threw up his arms. “I know! I am not normally so on edge, it is just…” He shrugged. “I do not know. I am on edge, aren’t I?” “Very much so. You should sit. Have a cup of your fine wine.” “You’re right. Of course you’re right. Come, will you join me?” He gestured to his chambers and Gaidres followed. Once in private, Caelius took his hand, leading him to the couches. “Sit with me. Assure me again that everyone is prepared for this and that nothing will go wrong.” “You worry too much. What could go wrong? The men have trained hard, you have prepared a feast for the ‘noble

citizens’ attending…it will be fine.” He often wondered why a man with such soft emotions had ever thought he could run a ludus. Caelius sighed. “I know you do not care for the idea of entertaining these people, Gaidres, but it is necessary.” “I know, Dominus. I know what they want and I shall give it to them. You do not need to worry that they or you will be disappointed.” “It is not you nor the other men in the ludus who concern me. I know that you will put on a display worthy of all the months of hard work you have put into training.” Caelius took the cup of wine Gaidres handed him and sipped it when Gaidres cast him an insistent glance. “Then what else troubles you?” Gaidres reclined next to him. Caelius hesitated a long moment, then sighed. “It takes more than just the skill of gladiators for a ludus to be successful. I only want to make sure the setting is worthy of the spectacle I know you will provide. I don’t want anything that I have overlooked to cast a pall on the evening.” Gaidres laughed and dropped a firm kiss on his lips. “You? Overlook details? Be serious, Dominus.” Caelius cast him a suspicious glance. “I’m amusing you, aren’t I?” “You are indeed.” “Are all the weapons and armor in order? I should check on the medicus and make sure he has everything he needs.” Gaidres hauled him back down when he started to rise.

“Dominus, you have gathered the best people for these tasks and you know well they can handle what you have set them to do. Do not undermine what you have built by fussing over them. Hierocles knows what he is about with the equipment and the medicus has been prepared for days. All will be well.” Caelius met his eyes and Gaidres saw them go serious. “I worry for your safety.” He rushed to continue before Gaidres could say anything. “I know in my heart all will be well and you are a brilliant gladiator. I have seen you train and do not doubt your skill. I cannot help my worry. It is in me, as I’m sure you know by now.” Gaidres shrugged dismissively. “There is naught to worry over, Dominus. I fight Demos this eve and he is as skilled a warrior as any. You will not lose your champion in such a match.” Caelius gave him a fierce look. “You are not just my champion, Gaidres, and well you know it. You are my lover, as well.” Gaidres tensed. Why did Caelius insist on bringing emotion into things? “I am replaceable in that regard, Dominus. It is as champion that you would be hard-pressed to find another to match my skill.” Caelius’s face tightened for a moment, and then he seemed to rethink his stance. “I think you do not give yourself proper credit, my gladiator.” He shifted on the couch to slide one long leg over Gaidres’s hip as they faced each other. “Your skills are not only in the arena. My body feels the echoes of your skills last eve.”

“As well it should. I lingered long over it,” Gaidres replied, relieved that Caelius seemed to set aside needless worries. “Still, you’ve had many lovers before me and will have many more when I’m gone.” “I may be able to attract lovers, Gaidres, but not many so willing to feed those oh-so-unnatural desires of mine.” Caelius slid his hand along Gaidres’s naked thigh. “Who else would ride me with abandon or let me beg without shame?” Gaidres’s mouth went dry, recalling with perfect clarity the times Caelius had done just that. It would likely always make his cock throb to think of it. “Those who would not indulge you in such things are fools.” Caelius slid his hand higher, cupping Gaidres’s cock through the subligar. “Tonight after the celebration is over we can indulge to our hearts content,” he said in a husky voice. Gaidres groaned. “Because there is no time now.” He wanted nothing more than to fuck this man until he could no longer think. Until the turmoil inside him abated enough for him to draw a breath. “You need your full strength for the exhibition, as much as I might like to drain you here and now.” Caelius removed his hand and leaned in to offer a kiss, which Gaidres took until he felt that it would not be only himself who would long for the end of the day. He broke the kiss with a rough growl of frustration and caught the gleam in Caelius’s eyes. “My discomfort

amuses you?” Caelius shook his head with a soft laugh. “No. The knowledge that poor Demos has no idea he is fighting a man promised something much more enticing than glory if the battle is won.” He stole another quick, hard kiss, murmuring against Gaidres’s lips. “Best him swiftly, my gladiator, that I may reward you when it is done.” Then Caelius pushed away and rose, adjusting his robes, his cheeks flushed with desire. Gaidres watched him for a moment, then pushed to his feet, as well. “I must go and prepare, Dominus. Attempt not to worry yourself sick over this gathering. It will be a triumph, I am sure.” “It will be, and all because of you and your men.” He touched his fingers to Gaidres’s jaw and smiled. “Be safe, my lion. I wish to hear you roar tonight.” He walked out with a soft snicker as Gaidres cursed behind him. “Soon enough you’ll see what you’ve roused in me,” Gaidres called after him. Caelius only laughed. “I look forward to it greatly.” Caelius moved about the atrium, pleased with how the celebration progressed. The restoration of the atrium to its former glory filled him with pride. The colors of the new mosaic tiles surrounding the shallow pool drew the eye. Discreet braziers kept the open-aired room comfortable as wine and food flowed. Musicians played as a background to the murmured conversation.

He couldn’t seem to dispel the lingering sense of disquiet. It wasn’t just Gaidres who concerned him either. He had come to know all the men in the ludus, all proud, all worthy and all determined to make a name for themselves. And not all would live to an old age because of these games and entertainments. Not all would even live past the Lupercalia. At least Gaidres no longer seemed to seek death, and that was a comfort. He wanted this night to be a success for all of the men and had addressed the ludus earlier, letting them know of his pride in the work they’d done. Petronius approached him. “You surprise me, Caelius. I didn’t think Craxus’s villa would ever recover from his depredations.” Caelius signaled for more wine as he acknowledged the other man. “It took quite a bit of work and much coin, but it kept me occupied.” “After your wife’s death we thought you’d lost the heart for politics. Yet here you are, opening your ludus just in time for the festival.” “You must know by now that once I decide on a course of action, I rarely change my mind.” Hierocles drew Caelius’s attention. Gaidres’s men were ready to be seen. “It will be most interesting to see what changes you’ve wrought in your ludus.” Avid curiosity laced Petronius’s voice. “You need not wait any longer.” Caelius strode forward to capture everyone’s attention. “Good citizens of Fidena,

before we move on to the highlight of this evening, allow me to give you a firsthand look at the men who will be competing at the Lupercalia. Here is the offering of the House of Laraniia!” Gaidres kept his eyes straight ahead as, one by one, he and the other gladiators filed into the atrium. There were a good number of guests and Gaidres didn’t make eye contact with him. But Caelius watched him as he and the other men drew to a halt and clasped their hands at their backs, heads held high. Caelius sensed his guests’ eyes on the men, raking them, gauging their strength and worth. He began at the end of the line and announced each gladiator in turn, with some mention of their skill, or a feat they were known for. Something to rouse the crowd’s interest. And then Caelius reached his lover. Gaidres’s steady forward gaze faltered and their eyes met. Caelius saw the surge of pride in Gaidres’s eyes and he knew his own gleamed with pride in return. “And finally, my friends, I present to you the champion of the House of Laraniia. The Lion of Fidena! Born of Thrace, forged to steel in the heart of this very ludus!” A murmur rippled through the crowd. Caelius continued. “I assure you, you will not soon see his equal upon the arena sands! And you, my most noble of counterparts, will be the first to see him battle, this evening against brave Demos.” Caelius chuckled. “Let us only hope Demos does not succumb too quickly to the Thracian’s sword!” At that, Demos gave him a sidelong look, amber eyes

sparkling. “Oh ho, going to toss me on my back, are you? We’ll see about that, you prideful ass.” Gaidres barely suppressed a grin. “It won’t be the first time you’ve sprawled on your back for the better man,” he teased in the same barely audible whisper. Caelius’s mouth twitched as he tried not to chuckle. It was good to know that Gaidres had friendships within the ludus. Demos must be a worthy man indeed to have won Gaidres’s respect. He stepped aside so the crowd could get another look at the men of his ludus and as he did he gave the doctoré a smile of approval. He would have to make sure that everyone received something special for all the hard work they had put into training. It showed in their bearing and as he turned away he saw that even Petronius looked impressed. “And now for the evening’s entertainment.” Caelius gathered his guests’ full attention again as they murmured in speculation. He had forgotten how much he enjoyed hosting a good celebration and seeing to the gratification of all his guests. “Unlike my parties in the past, there are no dancers and all the other enticements I’m known for.” He could feel Gaidres’s eyes on him and stole a glance in his lover’s direction, noticing his amusement. “Tonight, the House of Laraniia will give you most worthy citizens of Fidena a taste of what you can expect at the Lupercalia.” He nodded to the doctoré so he could lead the men back out to the ludus as the murmurs rose again amid

sounds of appreciation. “Come, my friends, to be delighted and amazed.” Petronius fell into step beside Caelius as he led the way to the expansive balconies overlooking the sparring area. “You’ve missed your calling, Caelius. You should have gone into oration instead of law.” “Aren’t they one and the same?” Braziers warmed the balcony, though the air still had a bite to it. As his guests found good vantage points, Caelius frowned and excused himself to seek out Felix. “See to it that the men have hot wine and warm food waiting for them when they return from their exhibition,” he said in an undertone, cursing himself for overlooking any detail. Caelius took his place at the balcony next to Petronius and his wife. Now that the moment was here he was full of excitement. The men’s attitude had worn off on him. They weren’t afraid. They were exhilarated, and very sure of their skills. Though, if he had become this distressed over a mere exhibition where the chance of injury was unlikely at best, he could not even begin to imagine how plagued he would be before the actual Lupercalia. Excitement flowed through him. Anticipation. It had been too long since he’d fought, and even though this was just an exhibition and he trusted Demos, it was still a battle with spectators and live blades. He itched to feel the ripple down his arm as steel met steel.

“Do not hold back tonight, my friend. I look forward to a strong battle hard won.” Demos chuckled. “Oh trust me, ‘Lion,’ I will hold nothing back.” The other man gave Gaidres a good-natured smirk. “I cannot believe he gave you such a grandiose title. I do not recall your skills in bed making any mountains move.” Gaidres’s lips twitched. “Bed? Who has need of a bed? We spend more time up against the wall.” “Filthy bastard. I do not need to know that!” Demos shoved him in the shoulder and glanced over as Hierocles approached to hand them their weapons to begin to warm up a bit while the opening bouts began in the courtyard. “You brought it up.” Gaidres chuckled and dodged a swipe of Demos’s longer, heavier blade. “I take it back.” “Enough! Prepare yourselves,” the doctoré barked. “This is no time for children’s games!” Kashta and Marius emerged first and Gaidres watched from the sidelines as they came forward to pay their respects before the balcony. He did his best to watch the match, not Caelius. Easier said than done. The exhibitions flew by, each one garnering the kind of attention from the spectators that must please Caelius. One by one until only his match with Demos remained. “Fellow citizens, allow me to present the final exhibition for the night.” Caelius’s voice rang out. “The Lion of Fidena and the noble Demos will face each other not with practice blades, but with live steel!” They emerged and Gaidres gestured to the balcony of

observers with his sword. His eyes found Caelius, and though the helm kept Caelius from seeing his gaze, his lover felt it. Gaidres knew because their eyes met as if there were mere inches between them. Then Caelius smiled, the same smile he gave when Gaidres would stalk toward him in his chambers. The one that said he could hardly wait to be devoured. Soon the gathering would be done and he could do just that. When he turned to face Demos and Caelius raised his hand, the thrill of battle, even mock battle, overpowered the lust. “Begin!” Caelius dropped his fist to his palm and then the clash of steel and shield was all Gaidres could hear or focus on. He crouched, circling Demos and then diving in to sweep his legs, but Demos was quick and leaped out of reach. The flat of his blade knocked Gaidres off-kilter for an instant. The crowd yelled and Gaidres steeled his focus. He just knew his friend was laughing behind that helmet. “Laugh now, sniveling girl.” Gaidres spun to catch Demos from behind with a hard shove. Demos stumbled and barely managed to block a downward strike. Gaidres pounced, his sword coming down in a flurry of ruthless blows. With any other fighter, the bout would have been over then, but somehow Demos managed to roll under another swing and leap to his feet. Gaidres spun and swung. He could almost see the rhythm flowing between them as they matched move for

move. Caelius would be very pleased with this final match and it would surely bring intense interest to the ludus, come the Lupercalia. Then he had no more time for thought as Demos attacked with a roar that, were this a true battle in the arena, would have sent a shiver down his spine. He could hear the cries from the crowd and knew they were on the edge of their seats. Then he saw his opening. The slightest mistake on Demos’s part as he hefted his shield. Gaidres grinned and swung, sword coming down full weight upon the other man’s shield as it seemed time stood still inside a breath. Something was wrong. Instead of the shudder of impact he expected, the sudden slam on momentum that always came, he felt a give. A sickening screech as his sword instead began to bend and then shattered. Instinct took control as he bent backward and dropped with a thud to the hard-packed dirt, helmet knocked loose. The blade of his sword flew end over end, the sharp, curved tip just grazing his left cheek as it passed over him to land and skid across the ground. Caelius’s heart leaped into his throat, strangling his cry of fear. Demos surged forward to take advantage and all Caelius could see was steel flashing down toward his lover and Gaidres too stunned to defend himself. Then Gaidres grabbed Demos’s arm, using the man’s momentum against him, throwing him off balance and sweeping his

legs out from under him. In a flash Gaidres was on his feet, Demos’s sword in his hand as he pointed it at his friend’s throat. Silence fell and then lifted to a deafening roar as Demos lifted up two fingers indicating that he yielded the contest. Gaidres turned to look up at the balcony and Caelius swallowed convulsively as he saw the blood on his cheek. He couldn’t hear what everyone around him was saying past the roaring in his ears, but they sounded ebullient. They had not expected this sort of exhibition and it would only increase their interest. Talk of this night would spread and anticipation would grow. Lingering fear had him too caught up to appreciate it. Caelius held out his thumb, pointing it up as his guests voiced their approval and Gaidres stepped back to let Demos up to his feet. He clutched the edge of the balcony. It had looked for all the world as if Demos had been trying to kill Gaidres in truth. It had been so close. The others around him spoke in excited murmurs but every bit of his attention remained fixed on Gaidres. “You should get your men better equipment.” Petronius murmured it for his ears only and Caelius’s fury came back tenfold. “Unless of course you staged it this way to draw more attention…If so, you’ve succeeded. There will be talk of nothing else in the weeks to come.” Caelius didn’t trust himself to reply. All he could see was that sword seeking Gaidres’s life over and over in his head. But something had to be said. He lifted his hands, his heart pounding. The audience fell silent as he looked at Gaidres.

“My champion, you have brought great honor to the House of Laraniia.” Their eyes caught and held and he could breathe again. His lover looked so fierce with the naked sword in his hand and the blood on his cheek. By the gods, Caelius loved him. One day soon, he would win over Gaidres’s heart and be able to tell him so. “You have found yourself a true prize, Caelius.” Petronius gestured toward Gaidres. “I found it hard to believe that Craxus left anything salvageable. I was sure you would have to start from the beginning.” Caelius watched Gaidres until he disappeared into the ludus before tearing his eyes away to meet Petronius’s searching stare. “It took hard work and dedication, and the men gave both in equal measure.” “I never understood what it was about you that garnered such loyalty and dedication. You must tell me your secret.” Caelius’s mind raced, impatient to get rid of his guests so he could check on Gaidres and find out who was responsible for this. Felix would be with the gladiator, but he needed to see for himself. “Everyone must have their secrets and even if I told you, you would never believe me.” The guests seemed to linger forever and Caelius’s frustration grew until all of his slaves began casting him sideways glances and whispering among themselves. “How do Gaidres and Demos fare?” Caelius snapped at Felix, who had appeared at his side to pull him away for a moment. “They are well and sit with the rest of the ludus,

partaking of the food and wine you ordered. The medicus told me that the bleeding stopped and did not require any stitchery.” Relief flowed through him, though it didn’t quell the need to see Gaidres. “I want to know what happened, Felix. I want to know who was responsible for that sword. We paid good money for the best. Not to have equipment broken the first time it is tested!” “I will see to it, Dominus, starting with the doctoré and the weapons-keeper tonight and the blacksmith and merchant in the morning.” Caelius nodded as he turned back toward his guests, still trying to think of a way to rid himself of them before dawn. Felix would not be the only one to address everyone involved. He’d speak with them himself.

Chapter Sixteen Gaidres was all but vibrating, blood pumping wildly through him as he and the others filed into their quarters inside the ludus. The talk was of nothing else but the dramatic ending to his bout with Demos, wondering what had gone wrong, praising them both for their quick reactions and ribbing Demos for still managing to lose. Demos clapped Gaidres on the shoulder as they sat to enjoy the wine and fine food waiting for them sent by Caelius in reward for their performance tonight. “Do not fret. Tonight you were the better man. I admit as much.” Demos’s grin was infectious. “But I promise you next time you won’t be so lucky, oh Lion of Fidena.” He chuckled and ambled off to get his own portion of the feast. Gaidres paced, taking a long drink from his jug of wine. The only thing in a long while that made him feel half as alive as battle was…Caelius. The thought dampened his elation. He shoved it from his mind, as he often had to do when such thoughts came to him. He did, however, let himself hope for an audience with his dominus later. The bloodlust of battle had become lust for the soft skin and warm body of his lover beneath him. Gaidres glanced toward the courtyard and the villa beyond, wondering how long he would have to wait. Caelius had damn well better summon him, else he would demand an audience himself. Long hours passed, until he began to wonder what could

be taking so long. The others had begun to find an exhausted, drunken sleep one by one and still Gaidres paced his cell, every moment only adding to the anticipation growing inside him, the need to seek out his lover and sate them both until they could not move. The sound of footsteps alerted him and Gaidres stilled, turning toward the ludus entrance just as Caelius stepped through. Their gazes clashed and Gaidres ceased his pacing to stare at him. He couldn’t contain the low growl that escaped him as Caelius approached his cell. The other man shuddered and gestured to Felix. “Unlock the door.” Gaidres almost stopped him, almost said Wait, go back to your chamber and summon me from there. The lust roared through him, seeking an outlet. One that Caelius was about to provide. The key grated in the lock and as it swung open, Caelius took a step forward. Gaidres barely managed to keep from grabbing him and dragging him into his cell to throw him down on the thin pallet. Instead, he tightened his jaw until he thought it would crack and followed him. Through the ludus, through the courtyard, down the short tunnel and into the villa. It was as far as he could hold himself back and as they entered the atrium where just hours before he had been displayed for Caelius’s guests, his control snapped. It was Caelius who would be displayed now. Caelius gasped as Gaidres turned to face him in the

middle of the room. All sense of restraint fled as need surged to the surface. “Leave us,” Caelius gasped to Felix as Gaidres brought his mouth down hard on his lover’s, demanding, taking. Caelius moaned with loss as Gaidres broke the kiss and stepped back. “Gaidres, please.” He reached for him again. Gaidres shook his head, savoring the shudder that racked Caelius as he tore the fine robes from his body until his lover stood before him naked. He had no care for where they were or who might come upon them. “You’re mine, Caelius.” “Always,” Caelius whispered back as Gaidres sank to his knees, hands holding Caelius’s hips to steady him. He sank his mouth over Caelius’s cock and the other man cried out. “Gaidres!” Gaidres growled in his throat, sucking Caelius deep and tightening his hands on his lean hips when he swayed. There would come a point very soon when he would not be able to remain upright. Until then, Gaidres planned to torment him. “Oh gods…Gaidres…I can’t…” He pulled off with a snarl, tongue lapping the salty tip of Caelius’s cock as he looked up and met his stare fiercely. “You can and you will. Do not move, Dominus.” He sank his mouth over his lover’s cock and took him down right to the balls. Caelius cried out, hands fisting in Gaidres’s hair as if he could hold himself steady that way. “I…I am not your

dominus.” Caelius’s hips bucked helplessly. “It is you who… oh gods…who own me.” Gaidres’s cock surged even harder, at that vow. He began to pull back, maintaining the hard suction all the way to the tip and then rose fluidly to his feet, one hand in Caelius’s hair to jerk his head back. He nipped the man’s lips. “Say it again.” Caelius shuddered again, swaying with a sharp cry as Gaidres’s free hand closed on his cock and stroked. “You own me, the gods know it is true.” “Again, Caelius,” Gaidres said with another stroke of his hand, his lips and teeth tormenting Caelius’s throat. “Beg me.” Caelius clung to Gaidres, trembling. “What would you have me say?” He groaned, arching his throat as Gaidres tormented it with tongue and teeth. “I belong to you. You’ve set a fire in my blood that nothing will quench. Take me and make me yours again.” “Not enough, Caelius.” Gaidres nipped at his lips, his cheek. “More. Show me your surrender.” He urged Caelius back against a marble column and took his lover’s cock into his mouth. He arched with a sharp cry that echoed up through the atrium to touch the night sky. “Gaidres, please!” He didn’t know what would satisfy the unbridled need inside him. No, that wasn’t true. He did know. Caelius. Only Caelius. Gaidres sucked harder, deeper, digging his fingers into Caelius’s hip. He used other hand to push between the cheeks of Caelius’s ass and rub his entrance.

He glanced up, watching as a bead of sweat rolled down Caelius’s neck in a slow trail down his torso to rocking hips, where it gathered in the warm cleft of thigh meeting groin. Gaidres groaned and swept his thumb over the spot, bringing the moisture to his lips and tasting it. “Oh sweet gods…I love you.” Caelius shuddered the words out on a broken breath and began to sag to the floor. Gaidres released the cock from his mouth and caught the other man, stretching out over him and staring down at him for a moment in shock. Had he heard Caelius correctly? Did Caelius even know what he said? When Caelius reached for him and lifted his mouth to be kissed, Gaidres forced thoughts of those shocking three words from his mind. He must be mistaken, or else he’d driven Caelius so mad with pleasure that his lover had lost his mind. Either way, Caelius was kissing him and wordlessly pleading for him to finish what he’d started. Gaidres groaned and did so, pushing two fingers inside Caelius. His fingers thrust in the same ruthless rhythm as his tongue swept into the other man’s mouth. Over and over, relentless, designed to steal his lover’s senses. From the desperate sounds and the way Caelius moved beneath him, it had done just that. Gaidres broke the kiss, panting as he reached down and tore at his subligar, growling in frustration until it fell away and he settled between widespread, eager thighs that clung to his hips and lifted in offering. “Please…please, Gaidres, I can’t…” Caelius panted, arching hard.

Even amidst the pleasure, the almost mindless need to take and claim and fuck, Gaidres managed to slow, to gentle. He scanned the room with wild eyes in search of anything to ease his passage and then they fell on the table where the remains of the lavish meal had been left. His lips curved in a feral smile and he scrambled to his feet once more, hushing Caelius’s disappointed cry and hurried to snatch a small bottle of olive oil from the table. Returning to his lover, he slicked his cock and as he eased himself against Caelius’s entrance, before he could even think, Caelius lifted his hips hard and Gaidres sank inside him. They both cried out at the sudden penetration, and the desire in Caelius’s eyes didn’t flag. “Fuck me.” He needed no further encouragement. His hands grabbed Caelius’s wrists and swept his arms above his head to pin them to the marble floor. Their eyes met as Gaidres pushed the rest of the way inside, his grip bruising. “Do not.” Hard thrust. “Look.” Another hard thrust. “Away.” Gaidres’s gaze held Caelius captive even as his hands on his lover’s wrists did the same. Caelius wrapped his legs around Gaidres’s waist, and lifted his head to kiss him. Gaidres’s tongue sank into his mouth over and over, driving him nearer to the edge until the tension in Caelius shattered. He arched against Gaidres with a sharp cry, clenching around him as his orgasm tore through him, leaving him spent and their stomachs slick with his release.

Gaidres stilled and broke the kiss. “Now, Caelius, you will truly scream and beg for me.” That was all the warning Caelius had before Gaidres thrust into his over-sensitized body. “Gaidres!” Caelius writhed underneath him, seeking escape, seeking more as Gaidres surged into him again. “Gaidres, please!” “More.” He nipped at Caelius’s lips, grinding hard into him, nudging that spot deep inside Caelius that drove him mad. “Gaidres, please!” Caelius panted, his head tossing on the floor. “I can’t…It’s too much.” “Beautiful liar, this is what you crave. It is what you have always craved.” Gaidres kissed him hard, leaving him breathless. “Surrender, Caelius.” Caelius’s breath came in sobbing pants. “I have…I have! Gaidres, please!” He laughed and shifted his hips, thrusting at a different angle so he hit that spot deep inside Caelius with every movement and his lover writhed as if he could not decide if he wanted more or a respite from the overwhelming sensation. “You have not, Caelius! Give to me. This is what you want. We both know it.” He gave Caelius’s lip a sharp bite, eyes fierce. “Are you mine?” “Yes!” Gaidres groaned under his breath and circled his hips. “Then place yourself in my hands,” he insisted, shuddering as Caelius clenched so tightly around him he saw stars. “Give to me.” Caelius drew a sharp breath, eyes widening,

and in the next instant he did exactly what Gaidres had told him to. The tension eased from him, and though he still writhed it was with Gaidres instead of against. Though he still moved his hips in desperate need, it was in the rhythm Gaidres had set, not an attempt to set his own or snatch more and more and more for himself. His brow smoothed, his lips went pliant and Gaidres lifted his head to look down at him, possessiveness charging through him. “Now you are mine.” It was like being caught up in a storm, power crackling around them in thunderbolts. Gaidres drove hard into Caelius, hearing his own words echo in his head over and over. His. Gaidres hadn’t sought it, but there it was and the truth of the statement echoed, as well. In the midst of the storm, Gaidres wasn’t able to be frightened by the possessive feelings, the raw instinct that spurred him to claim this man. He felt Caelius’s cock throb between their bodies and Gaidres pulled back, releasing Caelius’s wrist to guide his hand down. “Stroke yourself, Caelius. I want you ready with me.” Caelius obeyed, moaning from the extra stimulus. “Gaidres, please…I’m already there. I’m just waiting for you,” he said in a husky whisper. Gaidres’s heart pounded as he wondered if those words had more than one meaning. Caelius tightened his legs around Gaidres’s waist, rocking with him. “Please, Gaidres, by the gods…please.” He released Caelius’s other wrist and held him closer.

Their faces were so close that Gaidres could feel Caelius’s hot breath against his lips. Part of Gaidres wanted to hold out, to keep going, to get more and more of that delicious begging from his lover. But his body had other ideas and the burning in Caelius’s eyes led him like a moth to his own demise. He didn’t try to hold off. It was an unrelenting need to lose his mind, to fuck until they both collapsed and couldn’t draw a breath, let alone think the troublesome thoughts that consumed him of late. Harder, faster, over and over the pleasure swelled and crested only to surge higher on the next wave. Until they hovered on a frantic precipice and strained for the blessed oblivion just over the edge. Before he could utter a warning, or a demand that Caelius join him, his orgasm was upon him and Gaidres shouted, hips bucking. Like a spark to tinder, his lit Caelius’s and the other man came apart beneath him, clinging to him as Gaidres spilled deep inside him and Caelius once again slicked their skin with his own orgasm. He didn’t move for a long moment, just let his forehead rest against Caelius’s and tried to gather his senses. By the gods, he had never in his lifetime felt anything so overpowering as the pleasure, the sensations and confusing tangle of emotions Caelius spurred within him every time they touched. With Kerses there had never been any confusion, any doubt that they were right together. There was one thing he did know without a single hesitation, however. He could never harm this man. Not for revenge, not for a vow he’d made years ago in the darkest

moment of his life, not for anything. Caelius was many things, deserving of many things, but death was not one of them. Gaidres was surprised at his own lack of anger over the revelation. Perhaps because part of him had known it for months, though he hadn’t acknowledged it. It was an odd sense of almost relief to admit it now. The guilt was there, the feeling of betraying Kerses’s memory, of failing him again, but nowhere near as strong as it used to be. Was he forgetting Kerses? No, but somehow the pain of the thought of him did not cut as deeply as before. Before what? he wondered. Before Caelius. He opened his eyes and lifted his head, staring down at Caelius. He did his best not to reveal to his lover the tumbling thoughts racing through his mind just then. Instead he smiled. “You should have gone to your chamber and called me there.” Caelius shook his head, still clinging to him. “No. I needed to see you, touch you, to be sure you were well.” “It is naught but a scratch. Fucking you is more a danger, I think. You threaten to stop my heart.” “I think that is the way it should be. The gods know you do the same to me.” Caelius touched Gaidres’s jaw, turning it so he could see the livid mark on Gaidres’s cheek. “Wounds happen on the sands. It’s a part of the life, Dominus. You know that.” Gaidres brushed his lips over Caelius’s. “You worry overmuch.”

He hated how Gaidres stopped using his name once their bodies were spent. “Perhaps I do.” Though he might not worry so much if he knew for sure whether or not Gaidres still sought death or not. His hands came up to frame Gaidres’s face, thumbs brushing over the other man’s jaw as his fingers shook. “Will you come with me back to my rooms?” Gaidres smiled and it struck Caelius’s heart with a hard aching pang. He opened his mouth to tell Gaidres that he loved him again, but then Gaidres was kissing him and the words were lost. I love you. I love you, Gaidres. The words turned over and over in Caelius’s mind, yet only he could hear them. His lover broke the kiss and eased himself from Caelius’s body with a soft groan. “I will.” He rose and helped Caelius to his feet. “Do you suppose we can get to your rooms unseen?” “I think anyone who had wished to watch will make themselves scarce and those who didn’t have long since disappeared to another part of the villa.” Caelius spied his tattered robes and scooped them up with a shake of his head. “I’m going to need more garments if we keep doing this,” he murmured, trying not to think of all the things he wanted to say once he knew they were alone. Gaidres snickered, grabbing his subligar from the floor as well and glancing around as he followed Caelius through the hall to his chambers. It appeared the villa was deserted, at least in this part. Which was for the best, because they hadn’t been anywhere close to circumspect this evening.

Once inside Caelius’s chambers, they took a moment to wash at the basin of water on a table near the bed and Caelius drew on another robe as Gaidres rewound his subligar around his hips. He tilted his head as Caelius sat on one of the low couches. “What is on your mind, Dominus? I sense the words pricking your tongue.” Caelius drew a deep breath, then exhaled, looking up to meet Gaidres’s eyes. “Do you still wish to die in the arena, Gaidres? Months ago you told me as much, and I wonder if anything has changed since then.” Gaidres sat as well, pondering the question for a moment. “I do not know. I know it is the likely course. I am resigned to it, I suppose. It is what a gladiator does, Dominus. We die.” He frowned, shaking his head. “That is not what I asked. I asked if you still seek it, if you wish it for yourself.” Gaidres frowned. “Why do you ask for an answer to that? I am what I am, you told me that yourself once. I am a slave and death in the arena is my fate.” “I would have you free, Gaidres.” Caelius took Gaidres’s hands in his. He hated seeing the grin on Gaidres’s face die and a part of him wished that he hadn’t spoken. But the sight of Gaidres in a cage was fresh in his mind and it infuriated him. Gaidres belonged with him, living and loving. But if he did not speak now, when? When it was too late and Gaidres’s life spilled out on the sands? “I see you in that cage and it is unnatural to me. Let me free you if you do not seek death anymore.”

“Why? What else is left for me? Fighting, I know. It is all I know anymore. You saw us tonight, Dominus. You saw the pride we took in our battle.” “Tonight was a mock battle, a test of skill. It is different when you fight to the death. How much pleasure is there then?” Caelius rose, agitation forcing him to his feet, before he turned again to face Gaidres. “I beg of you, Gaidres. I cannot watch you die. You cannot ask me to send you out to a meaningless death.” Surely he was the only Roman in the world cursed with a slave who refused to be freed. No doubt if he freed the stubborn man anyway, Gaidres would march himself down to his cell and sit there in defiance. It was maddening. And rather ironic, considering that it was the slave making these rules and the master who found himself helpless. He would laugh if his heart didn’t ache so. Gaidres’s expression darkened. “You place too much importance on this notion of freedom. What would freedom do for me?” Caelius sat beside him, searching Gaidres’s face. “It would allow you to live the life stolen from you three years ago!” Gaidres pushed to his feet. “That life is gone and well you know it, Dominus. There is nothing for me in Thrace, or anywhere else for that matter.” He threw his arms out, gesturing to the villa and the ludus beyond. “This is all there is.” He took a deep breath and shook his head. “Freedom

for you is a dream I will never experience. For you to be a free man means a villa in Caere, one here, slaves to do your bidding and your pick of lovers to fulfill your every desire.” He reared back as if Gaidres had struck him. In truth it felt as if he had. “You insult me, Gaidres, that you think my thoughts are so shallow.” “No, Dominus. I merely point out the very grave differences between you and I. Freedom for me means nothing. My family is gone. My home is gone. My friends and my neighbors. I doubt even the remains of my village were left standing by the time your uncle’s men were through. Here…” He sighed, as if he found some of what he said hard to admit. “Here I have a purpose. Here I fight, I win, I bed you…I would sooner stay and have that and die a quick death than spend any number of long, empty years out there as your glorified ‘free man.’” “Would being free with me be such an empty existence? It can be how it was in Caere all the time.” It could be more than that, so much more if Gaidres would but take it. Only the incredulous look that crossed Gaidres’s face told Caelius that he didn’t see such a future. “You are mad, Dominus.” Gaidres barked a laugh, shaking his head. “You have no idea what you are saying. You’re a dreamer and a fool.” Kerses was a dreamer. Caelius remembered Gaidres telling him that and his eyes stung. How could he compete against a memory? “Kerses was a dreamer.” He said it without thinking and Gaidres straightened, a furious mask

falling over his face. “And it got him nowhere but an early death. Your kind of dreaming is dangerous. Do you think what you do here with your slaves makes a difference? You do not think anyone would notice if you freed a gladiator and gave him rights and privileges that they know he should not have? Sometimes I do not think your mind is in the same world as your body. You have an image of harmony in your head that doesn’t exist in this world.” “Why can’t it?” Caelius jutted out his chin, even as his heart was breaking. “Gaidres, don’t you see? I love you.” Gaidres shook his head, taking a step backward. “You speak of what you do not understand! You love me? You love a fantasy! You love a slave who will do your bidding and whom you can control!” Caelius’s eyes flashed and he surged to his feet with a harsh laugh that held no humor. “My bidding? Control? Of whom do you speak, Gaidres, because it is not yourself!” Caelius strode forward, glaring at Gaidres in challenge. “Who is this slave who bends to my will? Whom I can control? You? You, who at every turn shakes the bars of the cage he is within and yet cowers when I would open the door for him? What control do you speak of, then?” Gaidres glared back at him, shaking his head. “I do not cower! I live in the real world, the one all around us, Caelius, and you live in some dream where…what? Where you think there could be more than what exists between us? Where love rules and the world bends to become something it is not and will never be?” He scowled. “You are a fool!”

“Perhaps I am, but if so then I am not a fool alone! You, my gladiator, are the greatest fool I have ever known!” Caelius threw his hands up and turned away, pacing for a second before spinning to glare at Gaidres again. “If I have such control, then this is me asserting it, by the gods. You will not fight in the Lupercalia! I forbid it!” Gaidres’s eyes widened and he stalked forward, but Caelius held his ground, unintimidated by his lover’s fury. “You forbid it?” Gaidres clenched his fists. “And then what, Dominus? And then what?” He shouted the last. “You will not turn me into a laughingstock, nothing but your personal whore, by the gods you will not, do you hear me?” “You are not my whore. And I refuse to live by others’ dictates about what is right and wrong. I’ll follow my own heart and conscience as I’ve always done,” Caelius replied, his roiling emotions eating at him. “Don’t you find it ludicrous that you, of all people, are worried what Romans might say behind your back?” “You damned blind, arrogant bastard. You’re so besotted with your dream you cannot even see the danger to yourself. Your career will mean nothing if the right people take offense.” He stabbed a finger at Caelius’s chest. “I will fight in the Lupercalia. You swore to let me make my own decision in that regard. Do not act like every other Roman now.” Caelius stared at Gaidres, torn between anger and an aching heart. He cursed himself for agreeing in the first place and cursed himself even more now for not being able

to be so autocratic as to continue to forbid Gaidres. “Gaidres, please, I beg you, please, don’t fight.” “Then you will allow me this?” Gaidres demanded with an intent look. Caelius pressed his lips together, his heart breaking even more. “I’ll allow it.” He conceded when Gaidres’s stare wouldn’t relent. “Gratitude. May I return to my cell, Dominus?” Gaidres asked in a way that made a mockery of the request. “Do what you will, Gaidres,” Caelius replied, his voice turning to ice. “You find a way to do it anyway. Hide away from me if that is what gives you comfort. May you sleep well tonight.” Gaidres cast him a hard look and then turned, striding from the room and leaving the slave who waited outside to scurry to catch up with him. Caelius sank down on his couch and dropped his head in his hands as he listened to the sounds of Gaidres storming toward the ludus and away from him.

Chapter Seventeen Caelius glanced up as the guard brought in the doctoré and Hierocles. He almost wished he had arranged for this confrontation to happen later on. He was exhausted from a sleepless night after his fight with Gaidres. His frustration over his lover had him on edge and it didn’t help matters that he was still angry over the accident at the exhibition. Still, making the two of them wait would not be fair either. Caelius knew that the rumors of his displeasure had already circulated among the servants and slaves. They would worry overmuch if he delayed matters. The doctoré looked calm, standing straight with his hands clasped behind his back while Hierocles shifted from foot to foot with an uneasy expression. That was hardly new. The former gladiator always seemed uneasy in his presence. “Gratitude.” Caelius gestured to the guard. “You may wait outside. I’ll call for you when I’m ready.” Caelius rose and whisked away the cloth on the table, revealing the shattered remnants of Gaidres’s weapon. Hierocles glanced at the shards of steel uneasily and the doctoré scowled. Felix had found the merchant who had sold the blades, but the trail to the blacksmith had died there unless Caelius wished to send guards to question other merchants several days away from Fidena. His scribe had spoken to several other blacksmiths in the area. Men renowned for their skill and they had examined what they could of what remained. The only thing

they could say for certain was that the blade did not appear to have any rust damage. Their opinion had been that either the weapon had a flaw or it had been badly tempered. Caelius hated unanswered questions. “Doctoré, Hierocles.” He sounded calm, but every time he looked at that shattered blade he remembered the terror of that moment. He saw the blood on Gaidres’s cheek. And felt the same acute sorrow when his lover refused to withdraw from the Lupercalia. “I want to know what went wrong.” “Accidents happen, Dominus.” The doctoré threw Hierocles a sharp glance at his words. “It is the way of things.” Gaidres could have been killed. He wanted to scream it. He wanted to shake them both until they felt the same urgency that he did. “I do not care for your careless demeanor,” he said in a cold voice. “I want answers, not excuses.” “I do not understand how it happened, Dominus.” The doctoré picked up one of the shattered pieces. “I tested all the weapons myself when they arrived. I would have sworn they all were sound.” Caelius’s lips tightened as another thought occurred to him. Petronius had known of his plans for the exhibition. Perhaps he had not been as cozened as he appeared. He could not imagine the man being able to do any tampering in Caere, but here in Fidena…Caelius still didn’t know every one of the slaves as well as he would’ve liked to. He had not had a chance to earn their loyalty.

Nor did his people from Caere know the people here very well or the other way around. Not everyone. Perhaps by sight, but possibly enough to challenge someone who seemed strange. If Petronius had managed to slip someone in to wreak havoc, one of his people wouldn’t have needed to help them on purpose. No…he could not picture that either. The villa itself may be a hive of activity but not the ludus and he had not increased it by many men either. If a stranger had been spotted where no stranger should be there would have been an outcry. It was a ludicrous thought and only showed how tired he was. If someone had ruined one of the weapons in an attempt to harm the ludus, they would have ruined more. Caelius resisted rubbing a hand over his face. “I want them all tested again, just to be sure. The Lupercalia is only a month away and I’ll not have the same thing happening again.” “I did last eve, Dominus, after the mishap,” Hierocles said, his eyes bright. “I found no other weaknesses.” The doctoré’s brows came together in a frown. “I checked as well this morning and I have to agree with him. But there were problems with some of the armor. When I examined them this morning several of the leather straps had stretched. It might have happened in the bouts last night. If they are not repaired it will make the gladiator who wears it more vulnerable.” Caelius pinned Hierocles with a sharp look. Judging

from the nervous expression on his face he had either known about the problem and had chosen not to tell him or he had overlooked the condition of the armor in his zeal to examine the weapons. Either way, the thought of Hierocles being in charge of the equipment anymore with the Lupercalia looming was unpalatable at best. “Gratitude, Doctoré.” Caelius almost sent him away to deal with Hierocles in private so the man wouldn’t be humiliated by his presence and then changed his mind. The doctoré was in charge of the ludus and he should be present to hear his decision since it would affect the doctoré’s domain. “Hierocles, you are being moved to other duties starting today.” Hierocles’s mouth opened in protest and Caelius waved him silent with an abrupt gesture, too aggravated to listen to his excuses. “You swore to me that you were up to the duties, that you had experience with weaponry and armor.” “Dominus, I do and I have taken excellent care. I would have noticed the armor and cared for it given time.” Hierocles glared at the doctoré who looked back at him with an impassive expression. Caelius straightened, furious again. Well, that answered one question. Hierocles had not known that the armor needed tending to. “May I ask what you were doing this morning while the doctoré was seeing to your tasks?” Hierocles turned a dull red and Caelius decided that he was done with hearing any more. He rose and thanked the doctoré again, dismissing him before returning to

Hierocles, who tried again to argue his case. “Enough,” Caelius cut in with a hard stare. “My decision has been made, Hierocles, and you only have your own carelessness to blame. Report to Felix and he will assign new duties to you. Now.” “You are summoned.” Gaidres looked up from his meal at the guard who stood there looking as though he wished he had been given any other duty in the world. Gaidres didn’t say anything and went back to eating. No more. He was through playing along with Caelius’s fantasy of life and the world and their relationship. Relationship. The son of a whore had tried to order him. If nothing else would have reaffirmed Gaidres’s status as nothing more than a slave, that had. Caelius could prattle on about love and equality and life being what you make it, but the truth was Gaidres’s life had been decided for him and there was no remolding it now. He was done letting anyone try and fool him to think otherwise. And to think he had been on the verge of telling Caelius of his decision to lay aside his plans for revenge. Demos sat across from him, glancing back and forth between Gaidres and the perplexed guard, now looking as though he wasn’t sure whether he ought to force Gaidres or not. Gaidres dared him to try. “Dominus requires your presence.” Gaidres didn’t blink, just kept eating.

“Argon…” Demos began. Gaidres cut him a sharp glance. “Cease.” He sat upright and turned to face the guard, eyes narrowing. “You may tell Dominus that if he wishes to speak to me he can come and try to drag me to his rooms himself.” Gaidres snorted as he turned back to his bowl. “I wager he hasn’t the balls to do so.” Though the image of Caelius storming into the ludus and attempting to drag Gaidres anywhere was amusing. The guard stayed for another moment or two, then scowled and disappeared. Gaidres had expected as much. His dominus was too gentle to ever condone the guard physically forcing Gaidres to obey, and the guard knew it. He’d be more likely to be reprimanded for such a thing than thanked for following orders. Demos watched the guard go and then gave Gaidres a confused look. “Did I miss some important scene in your play? Why are you refusing Dominus’s summons?” Gaidres flicked his gaze up, then back down, tearing a bite off his bread. “It is none of your concern.” Demos laughed. “I beg to differ. ’Tis the master of us both that you deny, remember. I somehow doubt his mood will be so congenial if you refuse him his favorite pastime.” Gaidres bristled, tossed what remained of his bread down into his bowl and looked up at his friend. “And that is why I have no intention of bending to him.” Demos looked as if Gaidres were speaking a foreign language. He shook his head and narrowed his eyes. “Have I mentioned that you are a fool?” “More than once, yes.”

“Well, I am mentioning it again. It bears repeating.” Gaidres snorted. “You know not of what you speak. Keep to your business, friend, and I shall keep to mine.” By the gods, Caelius and the way he’d seemed to overtake every aspect of Gaidres’s life was infuriating! Gaidres had made more than one concession last night and it had not been enough. Hide away from him, Caelius had said. Gaidres scowled. He was not hiding. He was accepting his fate. “Your business?” Demos gave him a hard look. “You forget that your rebellion against our dominus affects us all.” “He asks too much, Demos. I will say nothing more.” Demos sighed, his demeanor softening. “Perhaps it is time you take notice that he asks at all, when by all rights he could simply take.” With that, Demos rose, leaving Gaidres to his spinning thoughts. Gaidres watched him go with a scowl before returning to his fuming thoughts. Caelius was wrong. Gaidres did not care what the Romans thought of him. What he cared about was the fact that the Romans would not stand for it. Slaves had been freed before, and he was not blind to that fact. In fact, the arena where he would be competing during the Lupercalia was built by a former slave. It happened. But that was not what this was. Caelius had skipped one crucial step in his daydream plan. Gaidres would never, could never, love a Roman. Their argument the night before was fresh and he was certain Caelius would not be surprised to hear his refusal. Caelius had said once that if Gaidres were to refuse him he

would allow it and would find someone else to serve him in that way. Well…let him now. A tense line seemed to be burrowing its way between Caelius’s brow and had been ever since his fight with Gaidres. He frowned down at the papers scattering the table, realizing that once again his thoughts had drifted back to his stubborn lover. For two weeks Gaidres had ignored his summons every night. Caelius’s emotions had swung from astonishment, to hurt, to exasperation. He didn’t know what to do to talk with him again short of dragging him from the cell and angering him further. Perhaps he could empty the ludus of everyone but Gaidres. That was an idea. The infuriating man couldn’t ignore him then. Caelius’s fingers drummed on the table, the papers forgotten until Felix gave him a discreet cough. Caelius sighed and tried to concentrate on the reports before him until the sound of Faustus wailing came as a welcome relief. Caelius looked up as Helene entered with an apologetic expression. “Apologies, Dominus, but he refuses to settle down. I don’t understand what has been bothering him of late.” Caelius rose, holding out his arms for his son. “Here, I’ll take him for a while. Maybe he just needs a change of hands. I’ll walk with him.” Faustus’s face was red with temper, screwed up into a grimace and his body wiggled within his wrappings.

Caelius cradled him in the crook of his arm and brushed his son’s cheek with his finger. “Stop that.” Faustus’s eyes popped open to stare in astonishment at him and then his mouth opened on another wail. Caelius strode away, making soothing sounds as he did. Faustus no doubt was picking up on the tension in him and when Caelius was tense, the whole household seemed to echo his emotions. “You miss him too, don’t you?” Even after they’d returned to Fidena, Caelius had made sure that Gaidres had some time with his son every day, knowing how much Gaidres had enjoyed the visits. Only they hadn’t happened lately. “Maybe if I tell him how miserable you are he’ll stop being so stubborn.” Caelius felt just as miserable and alone, only he didn’t think telling Gaidres that would get him anywhere. Maybe he had been wrong about Gaidres’s changing feelings toward him. “Dominus!” Caelius’s head jerked up at the sound of Nikodemos’s grim voice. The guard stood in the doorway, his expression strained. “What is it?” “Word from Caere, Dominus. There was a fire in the stables.” Caelius’s heart lurched. “Was anyone killed?” “No, Dominus, there were some injuries and some of the horses had to be destroyed. All of the fodder is gone as well and the stable was gutted.” Caelius’s mind raced. It was only two weeks until the

Lupercalia and he was torn between his dueling duties. He could get to Caere, oversee the cleanup and make sure everything was well in hand and still return in time for the festival that he dreaded. He would be tired but it was doable. For a moment he was inspired. He could take Gaidres with him and linger overlong. If Gaidres missed the Lupercalia…Caelius sighed. He’d lose whatever chance he had of winning Gaidres’s heart. If his gladiator was furious with him now, he’d be doubly so then. “Ready your guard, Nikodemos. We leave for Caere at dawn.” Then he looked down at his son as a thought occurred to him. If bringing Faustus to Gaidres destroyed some of his lover’s defenses, Caelius refused to feel guilty for his tactics. Gaidres should be reminded of what he was missing in his self-imposed isolation. It might give his stubborn lover something to think of while they were parted. Gaidres stared up at the ceiling, one arm under his head. A moment later, he noticed that the ludus had grown very quiet. With a frown, he sat up, glancing around. It was never this quiet. There was always the sound of snoring, or shifting, or someone pleasuring himself or on occasion a pair pleasuring each other. But now there was only silence. What was going on? Scowling, Gaidres pushed to his feet, approaching the slatted door to his cell and glancing out. The ludus was empty. How distracted must he have been by his own thoughts to not have noticed the ludus being emptied? And

why? He frowned and shook at the door. “Guard!” There was no answer and he was about to shout again when movement caught his eyes at the entrance to the gladiator quarters. His eyes widened in shock as Caelius approached his cell. For a moment he was so startled by Caelius being there that he didn’t notice the small, wailing bundle in his arms. When he did, he gaped. “What do you think you are about? The babe should not be here!” The ludus was no place for an infant. Caelius turned Faustus in his arms so that he could see Gaidres. His wailing stopped, but the fretful expression on his little face wrenched Gaidres’s heart. “He has missed you,” Caelius said. “Since you have refused to leave your cell he has not seen you and since I am leaving at dawn for Caere I don’t know when you’ll have the opportunity to see him again.” Gaidres had reached through the bars so he could touch Faustus and his hand froze as he looked at Caelius. “What do you mean leave at dawn? What has happened? Is it her family?” If Valeriana’s family had dared disregard his warning… Caelius shook his head. “No, there was a fire and some injuries. I go to make sure they have everything they need to rebuild and restock.” Before Gaidres could press for more details, Caelius unlocked the cell door and handed Faustus to him. Gaidres’s eyes went wide with surprise, but he could no sooner not take the babe than he could stop the sun from

rising. “Hold him. I know not when you’ll get a chance again and he has been keeping the entire villa awake with his anger.” Gaidres’s stomach pitched as Caelius gave him no choice but to take the babe. The boy’s dark eyes, so like his father’s, blinked up at him and he let out one of those small chirps that Gaidres had become accustomed to while they were in Caere. But the sound did not give him the usual pleasure. It echoed off the walls of his cell and Gaidres felt nauseated. “He does not belong here!” Gaidres pushed past Caelius, toward the entrance to the courtyard. Faustus did not belong anywhere near a cell. Gaidres cradled him as they emerged into the moonlight of the courtyard, able to breathe easier now. “There now, little one.” Caelius followed, watching Gaidres. “As I said, I leave in the morning for Caere and Faustus has missed you. I see you have missed him, as well.” Gaidres glanced up, eyes narrowed. “Do not bring him in there again, Caelius.” “I would not have had to if you would come to my chamber when I request it.” Gaidres glanced back down at the infant, unable to help the smile that tugged at his lips as the babe appeared to be sticking his tongue out at him. “There is nothing to be said.” Caelius sighed. “We disagree on that, but fortunately for you I will not be here to argue with for a time. I wanted to be sure you were aware and to allow my son a visit.”

Gaidres’s head jerked up. “You do not bring him with you.” “Of course I do. Helene will accompany me, as will a full guard. There is no need to worry.” Gaidres didn’t like it, then cursed himself for even caring. So instead of protesting, as he’d been about to, he nodded. “I will see to it that the men are ready for the Lupercalia in your absence, Dominus.” “I have no doubt that you will. And I do intend on being back before then.” There were unspoken things in Caelius’s eyes and guilt tugged at Gaidres. That he felt guilty at all irked him. Faustus lifted his head, turning his face toward them each as if following the conversation. “I see he holds himself steady now.” Gaidres beamed in pleasure. “I knew you could do it, little one.” “Yes, he does and his voice is very penetrating when he’s unhappy. You have been spared that.” Gaidres looked up and their eyes met as they stared at each other in silence. It seemed as if a wealth of words were said in that glance and nothing at all was resolved. Faustus chirped again to grab his attention and then cooed as Gaidres beamed down at him and stroked his cheek. He had missed the babe terribly. He didn’t want to say it, but he had missed Caelius, as well. It was much easier to admit his attachment to Faustus. Then the moment was over as Gaidres handed the infant back with a soft sigh of regret. “I am sure you have many details to see to before you

go. Gratitude for letting me see him, Dominus, but do not bring him here again.” It was good that Caelius was going to Caere. For now the man knew that Gaidres could not ignore his next summons. If he tried, all Caelius would need to do was send word that he would be bringing Faustus to the ludus for a visit instead. “A moment more, please, Gaidres.” Caelius turned Faustus in his arms so that the babe faced Gaidres. “You have not given me a chance to apologize and I would do so now.” Gaidres stiffened and he shook his head. “Apologies are not necessary, Dominus.” “They are. I should never have tried to order you not to fight in the Lupercalia. I was wrong and I knew it the moment I spoke. I should not have tried to take your choice away from you.” Caelius bit his lip and looked down at his son. “It was the action of a desperate man who feared to lose you. I spoke to you of love and then drove you away. It was foolish of me.” Gaidres was weary of being angry, and the apology was genuine. He sighed. “Gratitude for that, Dominus. You were within your rights to do so, though it irks me to admit it.” Caelius nodded, exhaling with a resigned look. “Be careful in your training while I am away. I wish to find you whole and sound when I return.” Silence reigned for a moment more before, as one, they turned and began to cross the courtyard together. Back in the ludus, Caelius reached through the bars and

cupped Gaidres’s cheek, his thumb brushing over his jaw. “You will be in my thoughts.” Gaidres’s jaw flexed. “I wish you a safe journey, there and back.” He felt a weight on him, words heavy on his tongue. There was more, but he did not know what, and for a long moment they stared at each other. Then, as if he’d just realized that he wasn’t going to get handed back to Gaidres, Faustus shrieked. Gaidres flinched and took a step forward, but the slatted door stood between them and what could he do to comfort either of them anyway? Caelius crooned to the child, bouncing him, then looked back up at Gaidres with regret. Gaidres gestured to the open door leading to the courtyard. “Go. Take him. He is unhappy here.” Caelius shook his head, his voice soft but still audible over Faustus’s wails. “So are you.” Then he turned and strode out, the echo of the babe’s cry seeming to linger long after Gaidres knew he was too far away. Gaidres’s eyes stung and he sank down to his pallet, burying his head in his hands. In truth, they would likely be just fine. But Caere was so far away. And the fire made Gaidres anxious. What if Valeriana’s family had caused it? There were so many dangers. He kicked the floor of his cell in frustration. He had not felt this helpless in a long time. Not since…Gaidres’s eyes closed as he saw Kerses falling to the Roman’s sword. They would be fine. He repeated it to himself long into the night.

Chapter Eighteen Gaidres paced, ignoring the wine and fine meal that had been provided to them this night. The Lupercalia was the next day and he was sure Caelius had sent the feast both to provide extra strength and morale, and because for some of them, it would be a last meal. “Argon, are you not eating? You’re a—” “Fool, yes, I know.” He cast a tight smile at Demos, who seemed to be having no such trouble consuming all laid before him. A guard appeared then and Gaidres’s heart leaped, knowing without the man saying a word why he was there. Gaidres rose from the bench, glancing down at Demos. “Here.” He pushed his bowl and jug of wine toward his friend. “I’m sure you will not allow it to go to waste.” He clapped Demos on the shoulder as he approached the guard. He had intended to refuse Caelius’s summons, but he’d heard them ride in today and he was curious. About the cause of the fire and the people of Caere. The fire had plagued him. He could not shake the worry that it was no accident and had, over the last two weeks, found himself awoken more and more with terrible dreams of fires and Caelius and Faustus. So he followed the guards and then the lone slave to Caelius’s chamber. “Dominus,” he murmured as he stepped through the curtains that had been drawn closed across the doorway. “Leave us.” Caelius gestured the remaining guard from the room as he approached Gaidres. “I was worried you

wouldn’t come.” Gaidres shook his head, glancing up. “I would hear of your trip, Dominus. What findings on the fire? Are you well? Faustus?” Caelius sank down on the couch, exhaustion written on his face. “Faustus flourishes. I think Caere agrees with him more than Fidena.” Some of the tension eased from Gaidres and he studied Caelius before moving to the table and pouring him some wine. “And you? Did you rest at all on your journey? What of the villa? What happened?” He took a sip of the wine and closed his eyes. “Sit, Gaidres, else your hovering will give me fits.” He moved over so Gaidres would have room. He was hovering. He had been worried, but he couldn’t admit that to Caelius, who took a drink of wine before continuing. “How could I rest when there was so much to see to? The villa itself is fine. Most of the stock was either killed outright or had to be killed afterward. There were some burns and broken limbs as my people tried to save what they could, but I am assured now that everyone will recover given time.” “How did the fire happen? Do you suspect Valeriana’s family?” “One of the young ones fell asleep on duty and somehow a lamp overturned. It was a blessing he wasn’t killed.” Caelius shook his head with a sigh. “No, Valeriana’s family would not, if for no other reason than they’d feel that it was

money slipping out of their hands through the destruction. They did offer their condolences when I went into Caere to inquire about new stock and fodder.” Gaidres exhaled, relieved that all his anxiety had been for naught. “I am certain they did. Just as I am certain they meant not a word.” Caelius glanced over at Gaidres. “It warms me that you were concerned.” Gaidres lifted one shoulder. “The people there were kind to me, and I grew fond of them. The children…” “You have a soft spot for the little ones, don’t you?” Gaidres nodded. “I do not deny it. Children are a wondrous blessing.” Caelius said nothing for a moment, then sighed. “You would make a good father, Gaidres. They are as fascinated with you as you are with them. Is that something you wish for the future?” He cast Caelius a stony look. “We both know that will never be. For more than one reason.” “Gladly would I share the raising of Faustus with you,” Caelius said, staring down at his wine. Dead silence reigned between them as he tried to wrap his mind around such a foolish notion. And yet something inside him had surged desperately at the suggestion. To raise a child with Caelius. To be with them both…he shook his head, brutally shoving down such ridiculous thoughts. “Dominus, you must be the most dangerous dreamer I have ever met and you expose your son to mockery. A slave? A gladiator raising a Roman noble?”

Caelius set his jaw. “It was a thought. You still intend on fighting tomorrow, do you not? Nothing I say will sway you? I would get on my knees before you to plead my case, Gaidres.” Gaidres shook his head, swallowing hard. “I would not have you beg, Dominus, I—” “By the gods, Gaidres, can you not say my name? I am no more your master than the sky is green!” He took a steadying breath. “I would not have you beg, Caelius, I would have you understand.” “Understand what? That you would risk your life for the entertainment of people you hate? Why? Gaidres, tell me.” “Because I cannot dream as you do.” Gaidres bit off the words, throat tight. “As Kerses did. Dreams get you nowhere, Caelius. They earn you nothing but more pain than you thought possible to live through. Well, I am still standing and there are times, many of them, I have wished I wasn’t. That is what dreams do.” Caelius shook his head, rising to his feet to stand before Gaidres, dark eyes pleading. “No! You see no way out but I am offering you one! Please, Gaidres…I beg you. Do not fight tomorrow.” Gaidres’s eyes closed and he forced himself to take a step back. “I cannot!” His heart pounded. “You ask too much of me. Why do you torment me so?” Caelius pressed a hand to his stomach, inhaling sharply. “It is not my intent to torment you, Gaidres. I wish only to see you live.” “I do not intend to die out there, Caelius.”

Caelius said nothing for a long moment, looking as if he wanted to argue, to rail until Gaidres gave in, but instead he drew in a deep breath. “Would you find better rest here or in your cell?” Gaidres hesitated and then his expression firmed. “There. I would not have you tormented by my presence either.” Caelius didn’t answer that. “Come then, you should see Faustus before you return to your cell. Despite your intentions, you know not what will happen tomorrow.” He almost said no. But he could not refuse the chance to see the babe or the opportunity to stay just a few moments more with Caelius. He didn’t understand either inclination, knew it was foolish, but was too worn out to argue. He followed Caelius down the hall to the nursery, where Helene walked the floor with Faustus fussing in her arms. She looked relieved at the sight of Caelius and though she cast Gaidres a questioning look, she did not seem surprised to see him where he should not be. “Thank goodness. He has been fussy since our return. I think he prefers it in Caere.” Caelius took the infant from her, smoothing his dark curls. “He is not the only one. You may leave us, Helene, I will put him to sleep and come find you when I am through.” The nurse nodded and once she’d gone, Caelius approached Gaidres. “Here, you should hold him. He calms in your arms.” Gaidres took the child, sighing when, indeed, Faustus calmed his fussing and instead peered up at Gaidres. He

had such intelligent eyes. Like his father. “He looks more like you every day.” Gaidres glanced at Caelius. “He will grow to be a fine boy.” Caelius smiled, though it was weary. “I know he will. Perhaps someday you will teach him swordplay like you did Nerva. Who is excelling, I meant to tell you. And asked when you were coming back to teach him.” He sighed. “I did not know what to tell him.” Gaidres looked down at Faustus again, heart clenching. He didn’t have an answer, either. For long moments neither of them said anything, standing close together, Gaidres holding Faustus, Caelius stroking the top of the babe’s head. This was what Caelius offered him. Family. Home. Love. And Gaidres had nothing of worth to offer in return. He did not want to hurt Caelius’s gentle heart anymore, but there were things his lover should know…perhaps that would change his mind once and for all. “Caelius…” He hesitated, then pushed forward past his reluctance. Caelius had earned this, and in Gaidres’s heart he believed the other man would see it for what it was—a gesture of trust. If, for whatever reason, the gods cut him down tomorrow, Gaidres did not want this man to forever believe that he had not cared for him at all. “I would speak with you before I return to the ludus.” Caelius glanced up. “What is it?” Gaidres looked down at Faustus, who dozed contentedly in his arms. He ought to return him to his cradle, or his father’s arms, but could not seem to let him go. “It is about your uncle.”

Caelius blinked, brows knitting. “Craxus? What brings him to mind now?” Gaidres didn’t answer right away, gaze locked on the baby’s face, as if he could draw strength from the trust Faustus gave him unquestioningly. Once, he might have considered the helpless, innocent child in his arms an enemy, simply because of the blood that filled his veins. How foolish had he been, to ever think death could mend what had been torn? Then he lifted his gaze to Caelius. “He is on my mind often, in truth. Especially of late. I want you to know, Caelius, that I will not harm you. Nor the babe. Not now, not ever. I could not. If I were honest I would admit that I never could have, not even the first day.” He met Caelius’s eyes with a rueful smile. “You have been different from the beginning and it is only now that I seem able to recognize it.” “I never once believed Faustus was in any danger from you.” Caelius gripped Gaidres’s arm, his eyes earnest. “Not after the way you comforted me the night he was born. Not after I saw the way you looked at him and the way you held him with such care. Myself I would risk, but not him. I trusted you then as I do now. Gratitude for telling me that we are safe from you, even if it was not necessary to state what I already knew.” Gaidres swallowed past the tightness in his throat as he cradled the precious burden in his arms. “That is not all I would confess.” Caelius’s hand trembled on his arm and his eyes lit up.

“You have my ear, as always, Gaidres.” “I killed Craxus.” Whatever Caelius had thought Gaidres was going to say, clearly that was not it. Surprise flashed across his handsome face, followed by disappointment and Gaidres looked away before he could see worse in those dark eyes. Instead he stared down at Faustus and continued. “The guards had gotten lax over keeping everything locked. When I could, I’d leave my cell in search of food. That night Craxus and the entire villa, guards, guests and whores had drunk and fucked themselves into a stupor.” Gaidres had not missed how quiet the villa had been when he’d ventured out with only the sound of snores to break the silence. It had been the chance he’d waited for and he’d gathered the poison that he’d been able to procure from one of the villa slaves and gone in search of Craxus. The man had been passed out naked on a table with a woman on either side of him. Caelius’s hand tightened on Gaidres’s arm, interrupting his memory. “You do not have to say any more, Gaidres, I understand. My uncle was a cruel man who had no care for anyone but himself.” “I had nothing in my heart but hate and vengeance then.” Gaidres looked at Caelius and saw the hope come alive in his face again. “What do you have in your heart now?” Gaidres hated the way Caelius looked at him. Like he was a hero. Someone who held all of Caelius’s hopes in his hand and could fulfill them for him. Would that it were so.

At the same time as he hated it, he yearned for it, as well. Only one other person had ever looked at him that way, and perhaps once he’d been the sort of man worth pinning one’s dreams on. He did not know if that was still true. “Regret. Not for what I did to him, but for what I wanted to do to you. I regret the hatred I heaped upon your shoulders, Caelius, and I am sorry for it. You did nothing to deserve my loathing. Craxus deserved what I gave to him, but you committed no crime except perhaps of being born to the family of such a man.” Caelius bit his lip. “Is that all that is in your heart now, my lion?” He knew what Caelius wanted. Tender words, soft kisses, a promise of forever. But to give him promises Gaidres could never keep would be the cruelest thing of all. “I would have you know, Caelius, that I seek no more revenge. You said once that Kerses would not have wanted that, and I knew even then how right you were. He is gone from this world, but in my memories he is strong. I think he would be satisfied with that and wish me a long life rather than wanting me to join him so soon.” Their eyes met and while Gaidres could not give him the promises Caelius wanted, he could give him something, pray it was enough. “There are reasons enough to stay, to live. Reasons I would not hide away from as someone once accused me of doing.” “It is good to know that you do not carry that poison inside of you anymore. I would not care to see you hurt yourself any longer.” Caelius slid his hand around the nape

of Gaidres’s neck. “You had cause for such anger. I did not truly understand the depth of it when you first told me of Kerses. I had no knowledge of such a love then.” To Gaidres’s relief, Caelius did not say the words that he must be longing to say. Instead he let his hand fall away and looked down at his son. “Do you hear that, Faustus? No longer will you have to wail out your anger when you do not get to see Gaidres.” The babe yawned, scrunched up his face and went right back to sleep. Gaidres chuckled and brushed a kiss over his forehead. “I do not think he is impressed.” “Does this mean you will no longer ignore my summons?” Gaidres looked at his lover, lingering worry in Caelius’s eyes. “I won’t.” “Gratitude for that and for the trust you’ve shown me. You did not have to tell me about Craxus.” “You have earned the right to know.” Gaidres hesitated. The night was moving toward dawn and the Lupercalia awaited. “You once asked me if you’d earned my respect. You have and not because of the way you treated your household, but because of the way you treated me.” “Gaidres, please—” Gaidres touched his fingers to Caelius’s lips, stopping him before he could continue. There was nothing else to say. “I should return to the ludus.” Caelius looked as if he wanted to plead for more time, but he didn’t. He held out his arms for his son and Gaidres handed the babe over to him with reluctance.

“Gaidres, it was never my intent to hurt you. I know you feel like you must fight and I am letting it go, as you let go of your need for revenge. Do what you must, my lion. I will be waiting for you when it is over.” Caelius stepped toward Gaidres and touched his face, brushing his thumb over the mark on Gaidres’s cheek that was mostly healed. Gaidres’s heart pounded as their eyes met, so close together he could see the flecks of gold in Caelius’s eyes. His lover leaned closer and kissed him as Faustus cooed and chirped between them. When Caelius pulled back, his gaze was resolute, though pained. “If you have any care for me at all, you will live tomorrow. You will come back to us.” Gaidres’s eyes closed, for just a second allowing himself to savor the closeness, the soft sounds of the babe, the warmth of Caelius so near him. If he did not know better he might think this was a dream. The kind Caelius had. He wished he did not know better. He opened his eyes as Caelius took a slow step back. “All will be well, Dominus. You will see.” And then perhaps they could reach some understanding. Perhaps Caelius would not worry so and would realize that just because his daydreams of a life where Gaidres was not a slave and they loved and lived in happiness would never happen didn’t mean they could not have…something. Different, perhaps, but worth having still. “I pray it is so. I would stay here with Faustus and see him to sleep. You can find your own way back, I trust?” Caelius did not look away from him, as if he hoped for

Gaidres to say something more. “You will see.” Caelius didn’t say anything, and Gaidres turned to go, making his way back to the ludus on heavy feet that did not want to move forward, did not want to take him where he must go. Caelius was a dangerous sort of dreamer. A whisper in the back of his mind reminded him that once upon a time, not so many years ago, he would have considered being a dreamer a charming attribute. As Gaidres lay down on his pallet to the familiar sounds of the ludus, it was not laughing green eyes he hoped to see in his dreams. It was gentle, too-serious dark ones. For the first time he allowed himself a daydream or two of his own. The next morning, Caelius glanced up as Felix hurried into the room. He’d been trying to bury himself in work, unable to sleep very well, though it had hardly been successful. And the expression on the scribe’s face alerted him to a problem. “What is it? Is Gaidres…” Felix shook his head. “No, Dominus, it is Demos. He is ill. The guards think it likely that he imbibed too greatly last night. Only, I have not known him to do so before, nor do I think he would overindulge last night of all nights.” Caelius jumped to his feet, another worry hounding him. “Let us check on him. I agree with you, it’s unlikely he would have gotten ill from wine. I’d like to see his condition with my own eyes.”

They heard the moaning before they entered the ludus and it was clear that the sounds weren’t just of illness, but of pain too. “Demos! Are you alright, friend?” Gaidres said without an answer, concern in his voice and then Caelius was among the cells and saw Gaidres pressed against the slats of his door, trying to peer around to see his friend. “Demos! What’s wrong?” The sounds of retching filled the air and Gaidres cursed before he laid his eyes on Caelius. He gripped the slats of his cell door. “Dominus, may I?” Caelius nodded, gesturing. “Unlock his door.” As soon as the door opened, Gaidres sprang from it and ran to Demos’s cell, which Caelius also had unlocked. The reek of vomit came from the confines and the sound of pained groans intensified. Caelius frowned as Gaidres bent over his fellow gladiator. What if it was something catching? “Demos? Demos, what is it?” Gaidres laid his friend back on the cot and Caelius was alarmed to see how ashen he was, his face screwed up in a grimace of pain. A look of uncertainty crossed Gaidres’s face and his eyes were stark when he looked at Caelius. “He has yet to speak a word.” “Summon the medicus now,” Caelius ordered. This was not a case of drinking too much, nor had he sent down so much that the men could have overindulged. Uneasiness stirred in him. This was a bad omen and all the foreboding that had been haunting him, growing stronger as the weeks passed, came to full flower.

They waited together with Gaidres giving Caelius helpless looks until the doctoré appeared with the medicus right behind him. “Come out of there, Gaidres. Let them see to him.” “But we can’t leave him in here and the medicus is going with us to the games.” Gaidres’s eyes were dark with worry and Caelius’s expression softened. Demos was more a friend to him than a fellow warrior. “I have no intention of leaving him in there alone.” Caelius turned to Felix. “Summon another medicus from Fidena to see to him while we are at the games. In the meantime have Demos brought to clean quarters. One of the girls is an herbalist, Gaidres. She can tend him until a medicus from town arrives. She has great skill.” Gaidres reluctantly slipped out of Demos’s cell, brows knit. “He seemed fine last night. I gave him my portion of wine, but even combined they wouldn’t be enough to cause this.” Caelius shook his head. “No, he is sick, not suffering from too much wine. Perhaps something in the meal did not agree with him.” Gaidres and Caelius stepped back as several more guards came to move Demos. Gaidres relaxed a little as Demos opened his eyes and seemed able to answer some questions about how he was feeling. The medicus had Demos whisked off to the infirmary with the assurance that he would likely be fine but he was not going to be able to compete in the Lupercalia games. The doctoré followed to see that he was made comfortable.

Caelius frowned as they left the cell and spoke in a quiet tone. “He will have to be replaced.” He glanced at Gaidres. “Are there any of the men you think would be fit to take Demos’s place in his scheduled battle?” Gaidres shook his head. “Dominus, Demos is your second best. Anyone who is not already scheduled to fight would not be anywhere near his ability. Marius is closest in skill, but already has his own match.” “I like this not, Gaidres. It’s a bad omen,” Caelius said under his breath to his lover. He did not want the other men to overhear his words and have their confidence shaken if they were as inclined to believe such things as Caelius was. “It is a man with a sick stomach, no more, no less,” Gaidres soothed as the doctoré returned to the ludus. “Demos is settled in the infirmary, Dominus.” The doctoré looked around at all the other men, gathered at their cell doors watching with varying expressions on their faces, some grim, others stoic. Caelius came to a quick decision. “We’ll forfeit Demos’s match, then. I’ll not put someone else in his place who isn’t ready for that level of battle. It would be a needless death sentence.” Surprise crossed the doctoré’s face, but then he quickly masked it. “It shall be as you command, Dominus. If I may be excused? The others would be better off breaking their fast in the courtyard than in here with the reek of illness.” “I agree.” Caelius caught Gaidres’s hand as the other cells were unlocked and the rest of the gladiators began to

file out. He knew that most of the questions he put to Gaidres were supposed to go to the doctoré, but from the beginning he had trusted Gaidres’s opinion. “What do you think of their morale, Gaidres?” Gaidres watched the others go and then sighed. “They need confidence. They need you to tell them they will be victorious and return to this ludus champions all.” He met Caelius’s gaze. “However you feel about today’s games, you must not show it. You must go out there and address your gladiators and give them your confidence. Promises of glory and riches and lifting up your house by their deeds.” Caelius grimaced. “I know you are right. If I could, I would forfeit all your matches and remain here.” Gaidres shook his head. “But you cannot.” “I know.” Caelius drew a deep breath, straightening his robes. “Go, you need your own meal. I will address the men once they have eaten.” Gaidres bent his head and began to take a step toward the courtyard when Caelius laid a hand on his arm. “Dominus?” “I just…” Caelius exhaled softly, eyes concerned. “Be safe, Gaidres.” “I will, Caelius. Now you go, gather yourself and show us the man who whipped his guests into a frenzied thrill the night of the exhibition. You have a way with words. Use it now.” Caelius watched Gaidres go with his heart in his throat. He wanted Gaidres’s arms around him. He wanted to lure

him off to a forgotten corner of the villa and make love with him until Gaidres forgot all about fighting and gladiatorial games. Caelius closed his eyes, trying to soothe the disquiet. Gaidres needed his confidence just as much as any of the other men did. His gladiator would return to him. Caelius refused to believe anything else. And when he did, they would find a compromise somehow. Caelius emerged out into the cold courtyard. The men had finished eating and the doctoré had them moving about to warm up muscles. He saw Caelius and turned toward the men, gesturing for them to line up. “Your dominus wishes to address you.” “You need not cast your eyes on the ground. Today you fight for my house. Today you bring glory to my name and your own. You all are a part of my house and have the right to meet my eyes. I would look upon the men who show such courage and skill and honor them as they honor me.” Caelius stopped in front of them, met each one’s eyes, memorized their faces. “Every one of you fills me with pride. I have watched the hard work you have done all of these months and today you go out and you will fulfill the promise of all your training. Today you emerge as a key part of the House of Laraniia. Go out today and win. Go out and show everyone why you belong in my house. I swear to you that your deeds and prowess will echo down through the ages.” There was a roar from the men and Gaidres smiled just for him. “A word, Dominus. Alone?”

Caelius was surprised by the request and by the warm light in the other man’s eyes. He nodded and gestured toward the tunnel. “Come, through here.” Gaidres followed him, and once they rounded the corner to a bit of privacy, Gaidres propelled Caelius until his back was against the building wall, and kissed him. Caelius clung to him and kissed him back with the same level of urgency. When the kiss broke, they panted against each other’s lips and Gaidres grinned. “When the day is over, do not wait to call me to you. And when I do as you asked and live, know that I live for another chance to tumble you beneath me and touch your skin.” He pushed away from the wall and Caelius, flashing him a confident look. “I expect you to cheer my victory, Dominus.” Caelius groaned, his body throbbing. “You are a cruel man, Gaidres.” But then he smiled, a true smile for the first time since their disagreement, and drank in Gaidres’s face, memorizing every feature. His lion would deny it, but he had a gentle soul inside him. “I’ll cheer you, my gladiator. I expect you’ll hear my voice over all others and when you do, know that I’ll be anticipating the battle we will no doubt wage in my bed tonight.” Gaidres’s eyes flashed a wicked blue. “Of that you can be sure, Caelius.” Caelius watched his lover go and realized that all the disquiet had disappeared with the taste of Gaidres’s mouth. Today would be a glorious day and when Gaidres returned to him fierce and triumphant, Caelius would have

plenty of time to linger with him and win Gaidres’s heart for certain before other games arose. Smiling to himself, he returned to the villa with a much lighter heart to prepare himself for the day to come. Fidena and the Lupercalia awaited them and afterward Gaidres was his.

Chapter Nineteen Caelius stood tense at the railing, unable to sit as he had been unable the entire games. The crowd roared around him as slaves cleared the remains of the last battle. The bloodlust sickened him even as he began to understand some of the allure of the games. It was as if the mood of one infected them all. And the displays the gladiators had put on thus far had been breathtaking. Marius and Rufus had done well for themselves, inciting comment and speculation when they won decisively. He looked forward to giving them their prize money with his own hands. Others in his ludus had not stood out as much, but Caelius had not cared. At least they were alive and would learn from this experience. Felix had spoken with the medicus to assure him that those wounded would survive. Only one had fallen. Kashta with his dark skin and fierce countenance. A spear had struck him in his upper thigh and he had bled out before anyone could get to him. Caelius swore he would never forget the gladiator’s name. His hands tightened on the railing as the crowd increased its roaring, stamping feet making the din incredible to hear. This was it, the primus. Gaidres’s match. Gaidres…Caelius brought his lover’s face to his mind just before they parted this morning and once again the image soothed him. Gaidres would be victorious. And once he was, Caelius would once again feel his arms about him.

“Do not fret so, Caelius.” Felix touched his shoulder. “Your gladiator is a good man, in many ways. He will prevail.” “Sooner tell the sun not to rise, my friend.” Caelius’s breath caught as Gaidres emerged into the bright winter sunlight. He was not as close to him as he had been during the exhibition, but the stance of his body bespoke confidence. As anxious as Caelius was, he smiled. His gladiator was more than ready. Gaidres lifted his sword and the crowd greeted him in response. Caelius lifted his voice with theirs. “My Lion of Fidena!” There was little chance that his voice would carry to Gaidres but if he could, he wanted his lover to hear him. He stopped breathing once again as Gaidres’s opponent emerged, a huge man from Gaul, who had won several times in the past. Caelius tightened his hands until his knuckles turned white and his stomach flipped as the stands seemed to sway. He forced himself to take in a breath and then another. He could not hold it the entire time Gaidres fought. If he fainted from lack of air he would never hear the end of it from Gaidres. Felix touched his shoulder in comfort. A fanfare sounded as the host of the games stepped forward on his balcony to address the spectators. Caelius did not hear a word and even the sounds of the crowd became muted. Gaidres’s armor flashed in the sun as he and the Gaul saluted the crowd and then each other. We who are about to die, salute you. The phrase spoken

before the first fight came back to haunt him. “You will win, Gaidres,” Caelius vowed under his breath. “By the gods, you will win.” Gaidres stood against the wall. The roar of the crowds and stamping feet shook the dust loose and made the heart tremble. Not out of fear, there was no room for fear, but the bloodlust, the rush of the battle. He weighed his sword in hand, giving it a few test swipes as the battle in the arena went on. He paid it no mind. It would have been Demos’s battle, which he’d have watched with close interest, but was replaced instead with a gladiator from another ludus. Gaidres began to pace impatiently. Suddenly, the crowd got even louder, deafening even here beneath the stadium, and Gaidres glanced out to see one man standing victorious over the body of another. He firmed his jaw and gave his shoulders a tense roll. He was next. He stared down at the ground, blood soaked into the dirt where the victors and losers had spilled on their way to either the medicus or the pile of dead behind the amphitheatre. Gaidres closed his eyes, sound seeming to dull and grow dim as he let his mind focus. Caelius. His teasing smile, dark eyes edged with worry. Caelius would be watching. Gaidres would not let him down. Doctoré clapped him on his shoulder, startling him from his reverie. “You are ready.”

It wasn’t a question, and Gaidres turned to meet the man’s eyes, nodding. The presenter of the games announced the final bout, the primus, and introduced Gaidres to the roar of the frenzied crowd. The gate swung open and Gaidres pulled his helmet on, striding out onto the arena sands. Gaidres’s breath panted inside his helmet, sweat slicking his brow despite the cold of the day. He turned toward the balcony where Caelius sat and found him amongst the group. His lover watched with avid eyes and cheered as loudly as any of the others. Gaidres’s heart swelled with pride and he raised his sword, pointing it to him in tribute. “For you.” A part of him swore Caelius heard the whispered promise. His opponent emerged then, and after the brief formality of paying honor to the crowd and the sponsor of the games, the signal fell and the battle began. Swords glinted in the harsh sunlight and he dodged around his opponent, who was broader and taller, though with less armor than Gaidres wore. The Gaul made up for in brute strength what he lacked in protective gear. Gaidres took his first slice at the man, rolling to try and knock his legs out from under him, only to miss and take a hard blow from the Gaul’s shield across the back of his helmet, meant to stun him so the man could swing with his heavy sword. Gaidres managed to roll out of the way and was in a crouch, looking for a chance to strike, when he heard a rumble.

It sounded like thunder at first, but the day was clear. He mistook it for the stamping of the crowds’ feet, but it grew louder and louder, until both he and the Gaul stopped and looked up at the stadium seats surrounding the arena. Gaidres’s head turned to seek out Caelius in the box where he’d been. Just as his eyes found his lover, Gaidres watched in horror as the stadium seemed to drop out from beneath Caelius and then he was gone, the rumble now a roar so loud it hurt his ears. He opened his mouth to shout as, in a massive wave, the amphitheatre collapsed all around them, clouds of dust and debris rushing into the center of the arena. Gaidres cursed, dirt filling his mouth and clouding his vision as he was knocked to the sand. Instinct had him covering his head, curling into a ball as the entire world crashed down around him. The roar, like that of a furious Titan, filled his ears as the stadium crumbled. When the world finally ceased exploding, Gaidres tugged his helmet off with shaky hands, coughing and squinting as he peered around through the dust that hung heavy in the air. There were sounds of screams and moans of pain and every now and then a rumble and a crash from some part of the demolished arena as it settled and fell even farther. Abruptly, his stunned shock dissipated and the only thought that filled his head was Caelius. “Caelius!” He scrambled to his feet and hobbled toward the pile of rubble where Caelius had been. “Caelius!” Oh gods…gods please…He hurried as fast as he could, leg

aching and arm bleeding where a beam had knocked him to the ground and embedded large splinters of wood in his skin. It didn’t matter. Caelius was all that mattered. He spun in a circle, trying to orient himself and pinpoint where exactly Caelius’s box had been. His eyes fell on the body of a Roman soldier, the man dead and sprawled facedown in the dirt. Gaidres didn’t know what made it occur to him, but he knew that if anyone saw him in his gladiator armor he would be hauled away and held until his owner claimed him. Gaidres couldn’t let that happen and fell to his knees beside the soldier, hands shaking as he shed his own armor and began tugging the soldier’s from his lifeless body. All the while his heart was screaming at him to hurry,

hurry, get to Caelius now! Last, he fastened the breastplate on and slid the arm guards and greaves onto his arms and calves and then bolted as fast as he could across the sand to the section where his lover had been. He skidded to a halt and stared, horror dawning, at the pile of broken beams and broken bodies and shattered stone that towered before him. Somewhere under there was the man he loved. He loved Caelius. Gaidres let out an inhuman shout of rage at the injustice of realizing his own foolish mistake at the very moment he may have lost Caelius forever. “No! No!” He scrambled up onto the pile of rubble and beginning to toss what he could aside, scrabbling at fallen beams, shoving aside bodies. Caelius was under there

and by the gods he would be alive! He would be. Gaidres could not lose him. He could not lose another love. He refused and set back to tossing aside rubble in the frantic attempt to get to Caelius, shouting his name all the while. Caelius awakened with a whimper of pain. There wasn’t a part of him that didn’t scream in agony, though the worst seemed to be in his ribs and head. He tried to shift and found himself pinned. Another lance of pure fire shafted up his leg. What had happened? He’d been watching Gaidres and the next thing he knew he’d been falling and then darkness. He drew in a breath of dust and debris and began to cough, each wrack increasing the pain in his ribs until he went limp with another moan of pain. His heart pounding, Caelius opened his eyes. There was just enough light trickling from somewhere for him to see the darker shadows of fallen timbers and rocks all around him. One of his legs had been wedged between one length of wood and another. He felt around the rubble, trying not to panic. He encountered a limp hand sticky with blood and his breath caught on a sob. “Felix?” All around him he heard moans, some stronger than others, but none of them were the voice of his friend. “Gods, Felix.” He squeezed his eyes shut against the tears and his throat tightened.

The gods had struck down the arena. “Gaidres!” Caelius called out, the sound more a croak than a shout. “Gaidres!” His mind spun as he struggled without thought and regard to the pain, fingers scrabbling on rock and splinter of wood, body twisting until his leg was freed. Caelius went limp again, panting and choking on the dust. He may have gotten himself unpinned but he had not been able to do anything about the mass over him and his strength waned. Gaidres had to have survived. He was not in the stands. Surely his gladiator had survived. Caelius stared at the one little trickle of light so far away. “Gaidres, please…please be alive.” He couldn’t bear the thought of Gaidres being buried too. Not after everything he had already been through. Time passed, but he had no way of knowing how much. Every once in a while he thought he heard the sound of others attempting to clear the rubble away and every time he did, he shouted, which would raise a chorus of other shouts and pleas for rescue around him. Each time it seemed as if there were fewer voices and the remaining ones sounded weaker. Between bouts of rest he’d try to dig himself out, sometimes shifting more debris on him. But each time his strength ebbed faster and the periods when he could not move grew longer. Thirst plagued him and the pain made him dizzy. A careful search revealed some blood at his temple that had stopped oozing and Caelius was sure that some ribs had been cracked and he was bruised and scraped all over.

Still, he wasn’t bleeding anymore. He could hold on until he was found because he refused to think of being buried under here forever. Caelius closed his eyes and thought of Gaidres. His lover lived. Caelius knew it in his heart. Gaidres had sworn to him that he would live. Tears stung his eyes. Gods, if Gaidres did live…he must be mad with fear. He had just been starting to care. What if, faced with losing another lover, Gaidres lost his own new will to live? Or what if once Caelius was found, Gaidres decided that he could not risk his heart again? Tears tracked down Caelius’s cheeks. “Gaidres! Gaidres, I’m here! Gaidres, please hear me!” Slowly the light around him dimmed. Night was setting in and with it he became aware of the cold. He’d be spending the night underneath this horror with all the slain spirits, including Felix. He shouted and shouted until he went hoarse and passed out again. When Caelius awoke shivering to the sight of faint light again, his thoughts were woozy. Light…that meant dawn had come. He could hear the sound of rescuers clearer now, but they seemed so far away. And when he tried to call out nothing emerged from his throat but a hoarse moan. He struggled to hold on to hope, but his mind spun in dizzying circles. What if someone else took Gaidres into their ludus? Who would see to his lion, then? Caelius’s eyes had dried up long ago and no more tears would come, though he wanted to weep now. His thoughts flitted from Gaidres to Faustus.

His son…Who would protect him from Valeriana’s grasping relatives? Gaidres would if he could, but if he was taken again he’d never be able to get to Faustus. Helene and his other people in Caere would try, but Caelius knew all too well how the courts worked. He sent up prayer after prayer to the gods. He had to survive. He had to. No one else would shelter Gaidres’s tender heart. No one else would see to it that Faustus was raised in the manner that Caelius had been. Or make sure that Felix’s family was taken care of now that he could no longer send money to them. As time went on, Caelius’s thoughts became more disjointed and hopelessness sank in as he remained trapped among the dead and dying. Some dim part of him stayed aware enough of the light getting brighter and the sounds coming closer. The pain became a never-ending agony as rocks and timbers shifted. Small bits fell on him and he didn’t seem to have the strength to raise his hands to protect himself. He heard shouting. Felt a blast of fresh air across his face, then screamed as hands grabbed him. He struggled against them without thought and then all he knew was blessed darkness. Gaidres’s fingers bled but he barely noticed and didn’t care. The sun began to set and he cursed a never-ending string of promises and threats to the gods as he continued to dig and shout, though his voice was fading as the day

wore into evening. All over the fallen stadium soldiers and citizens alike did just as he was, dug and prayed and pulled out the dead and the alive. It was the sight of survivors being pulled from the wreckage that kept Gaidres from losing his grip on sanity and going mad with grief and fear. People were surviving. Caelius would be one of them. He refused to believe anything else. “Please, please, please.” He shoved another broken beam aside. “I’m so sorry, Caelius. I was a fool. Please give me the chance to tell you so. Please don’t leave me. I’m coming. Gods, I am coming, hold on. I love you, I love you.” His heart constricted as he continued to dig and whisper to his lover. “I love you. Hold on.” How long had it been? Gaidres glanced around, surprised to find it had gone fully dark now. The biting cold had set in and the only light was that of torches carried by various people scattered across the rubble. His arms ached and muscles screamed, thirst scraping his throat. But he did not stop. He couldn’t. Eventually, he stopped long enough to take the drink of water offered from a passing soldier, who mistook Gaidres for one of his own. Gaidres quenched his thirst, then was swept with guilt knowing Caelius had no such relief, wherever he lay under the stadium. Despite the exhaustion, new energy spurred him and he went back to work, praying with every stone overturned that he would find Caelius beneath it, scraped and bruised, but alive. Gaidres shuddered as he strained to lift aside a heavy

section of wall, cringing and turning away when beneath it he found three women, faces filthy and ashen, long dead. Despair was a constant battle and he resolutely began to move the bodies, trying to be as careful as he could while still moving quickly. It seemed he’d barely made a dent in the pile and with every second that passed he knew Caelius’s chances dwindled. “You cannot leave me now,” he whispered as he continued to dig. “You’ve gotten what you wanted…maybe you had it all along. Are you going to give up now, when I have finally removed my head from my ass?” For a brief time during the night his hopelessness and fear had overtaken him and his face now felt tight with the stain of the dried tears that had streaked through the dirt on his face. The hours seemed to have no meaning, while at the same time he was painfully aware of every second that passed. Gaidres glanced around, squinting in the bright noon sunlight of the next day. In the center of the arena a temporary infirmary had been set up, and though he hated to leave the spot, he forced himself to go down and look. Perhaps Caelius had been thrown away from his seat and been recovered in another area. Anything was worth a chance. “I’m coming back, my love. Hold on.” He began to make his way down to the ground and hurried toward the group of people and the makeshift pallets on the ground. Gaidres wandered through the strewn bodies, most moaning and turning in pain, others unconscious. None

were Caelius. He was about to head back to his spot to resume digging when it occurred to him that everyone here appeared to be of the lower class. There were no dignitaries or such. His heart began to race and he spun to find someone to speak to, approaching a medicus who rose from where he’d been bandaging a young man. “Medicus! Where are all the nobles? Surely some have been found!” He caught the man’s arm, his grip insistent. The medicus frowned at him, gesturing toward the cleared entrance to the fallen amphitheatre. “Did your fellow soldiers not inform you? All those of importance have been transported to Rome to be given care.” Gaidres’s heart leaped. Rome. If Caelius had been found, he would be in Rome. Gaidres released the man and turned, gaze darting about as he tried to figure out what to do. Go back to his spot and continue digging, or to Rome to see if Caelius had been brought there? The thought of leaving this place when Caelius might still be buried made him sick, though, and he growled under his breath, unsure which was the best course of action. A small group of soldiers stood to the side and Gaidres made an abrupt, rash decision. He could only pray they would be fooled. “You there!” He approached with as much authority as he could muster. “How many have been transported to Rome?” One of the soldiers straightened to attention at his barked tone. “A good handful, sir. Perhaps twenty or thirty so far?”

So small a number. “Are any of them known?” The soldier frowned, thinking, then shrugged. “I do not know.” Gaidres cursed under his breath and another soldier spoke up. “You should speak with the general, sir. He has been approving every person sent to Rome. He might know some names.” Gaidres followed his pointing finger to a man near the entrance. He strode toward him, trying not to shake. He had no choice, for Caelius he would pretend to be anyone or anything. Even a Roman soldier. “General, a word!” The man gave him an impatient look, but Gaidres rushed to continue. “Know you any of those who’ve been transported to Rome? There was a woman among the dead who spoke her last breath to me. A request to find her husband.” He pointed to the general area where he’d been digging. “From that section?” The general’s eyes lost some of their impatience and he sighed. “So many dead, it is hard to keep track. Most have only been identified as nobles due to their clothing and baubles. I have no names.” Gaidres tried to hide his impatience. “A description, then? He wore a blue robe trimmed in gold, dark hair that curled and a ring upon his right hand that bore the image of a phoenix.” The general frowned. “Perhaps…it is hard to recall them all, but the ring sounds familiar. Wait here.” Gaidres’s heart leaped and he forced himself not to scream at him to hurry. A moment later he returned with a

medicus. “Tell him about the ring,” the general urged. Gaidres repeated his description of Caelius and where he would have been found as his heart ached with faint hope. “Has anyone matching that description been transported to Rome?” The medicus took his time thinking, humming as he scratched his whiskered chin and Gaidres’s fingers curled into fists to keep from throttling him. Then, the man nodded. “Yes, yes I believe so. He was in dreadful condition, though, it is likely he’s—” Gaidres didn’t let him finish his sentence as he bolted from the stadium and toward the stables off to the side, mostly undamaged by the collapse. No one stopped him as he raced in and grabbed the reins of the first horse he saw. That was the power of being a Roman, and he for once was glad of it as he swung on to the horse and turned it toward Rome. Cold air whipped past his face as he raced down the road, every second praying and silently urging Caelius to hold on. He was coming. How long it took him, Gaidres did not know. His horse was slick and breathing hard by the time he raced through the city gates. Pulling back on the reins, Gaidres swung down off the horse before it came to a full stop, legs almost buckling beneath him as exhaustion and the frantic ride took their toll. He steadied himself and turned in a circle, searching. His eyes lit on the temple and the bustling, anxious activity surrounding it as people came and went

through the wide, open doorways. There. They must be there. He bolted, darting around people. He skidded to a halt and forced himself to slow as he entered the temple, not wanting to draw undue attention. The penalty for impersonating a Roman was death for a slave, and he would not die before he found Caelius.

Please, gods, let him be found alive. Caelius stirred as once again pain racked him, but oh, how he welcomed it. He wasn’t dead yet. Those hadn’t been the souls of the dead dragging him down to Tartarus. As he took in a careful breath, the pain was not as severe as it should have been. Strips of cloth bound his ribs and instead of dust and death in his nostrils he smelled people. He shifted and moaned, his eyes fluttering open and then closing again as light from torches and oil lamps stabbed at his eyes. “Be at ease,” a man’s voice murmured. Caelius sensed someone kneeling next to him even as he realized he was lying down on a pallet. A cold, wet cloth pressed against his mouth, dripping water between his cracked lips and Caelius could have cried as relief washed down his throat. Again and again the cloth was replaced until the worst of his thirst was quenched. Someone cried out in agony and the cloth was pulled away. “I will return.” And before Caelius could grab the man, he was gone.

Caelius opened his eyes again to narrow slits and turned his head. Pallets were strewn all about him and he shuddered to see both the living and the dying. He was alive. He was alive. Urgency gripped him and he tried to push himself up so he could signal someone, only there was no more strength in his limbs. He had no idea how long he’d been lying here. What of Gaidres and his son? What of all the other members of his household who must be frantic with fear? Caelius’s fingers curled together and he tried to summon anyone to his side, but his voice refused to go above a hoarse whisper. Frustration gave him strength and he lifted his arm to wave a medicus to his side only they were all busy, intent on all the other wounded. He had to get word out somehow that he survived. There had to be one person who could be found to go to his villa, to find Gaidres and to give him word of the others who had attended the games with him. What of the other gladiators in his ludus? Or of Felix, who had been standing behind him when the nightmare started? He didn’t want to believe his friend was dead despite what logic, one of the scribe’s favorite subjects, told him was true. “You must rest.” The medicus knelt beside him again and pressed a cloth to Caelius’s lips before checking another cloth wrapped around his head. “Your strength will return with rest and care, but you must cease fretting. You’ve been tossing and muttering the entire time you’ve been here.”

The medicus’s eyes narrowed and he gestured to a passing helper. “You there, boy, bring me a draught of drugged wine. That should give this man a few hours of sleep.” Caelius caught his sleeve, trying to mumble past the cloth over his mouth. “You do not understand. I must find him, please. Word must be—” The medicus’s face went sharp with regret and then he shook his head. “I’m sorry, most did not make it. I’ll see that you get the wine.” And with that he was gone again and Caelius discovered that he still had tears in him. No, Gaidres was alive, but how was he to find him now when no one would listen? He prayed, eyes closing as he entreated the gods to return Gaidres to him, whole and sound. Some instinct stirred in him, recognizing a familiar presence. Caelius didn’t dare believe it and kept his eyes closed, praying until the call became too urgent. He opened his eyes again and went completely still. Gaidres stood at the foot of his pallet, his face filthy, but oh so beautiful. For a moment neither of them moved nor spoke a word. He had to be imagining this. All of his dreams since the nightmare started had been of his lover and son at Caere. But he had never dreamt of Gaidres dressed so, and in none of his dreams had Gaidres’s face been bruised and drawn with fatigue. “Gaidres.” His breath choked on a sob as Gaidres was by his side, kneeling beside the pallet and taking his hand. “You’re alive…”

Gaidres gave him a shaky smile, his own eyes swimming. “I made you a promise, did I not?” He laughed, unable to believe his eyes. Gaidres in a Roman soldier’s armor…it must be a fever dream or the pain from his injuries making him mad. But Gaidres’s hand was warm around his and his eyes were so blue as they bent close to him. “You did promise.” His eyes searched Gaidres’s face. “I’m not dreaming?” “No more than I am, Caelius.” Worry darkened his thoughts. “Do you hurt? What did the medicus say?” Gaidres lifted his head and looked around to summon one to his side and demand answers. Caelius’s fingers closed around his hand and Gaidres looked back at him. Caelius reached for him with his other hand. “He says I will recover, with rest and…” He frowned, as if unable to remember what else had been said. Gaidres’s worry spiked even higher. Then a boy arrived with a goblet of wine and Caelius clutched at Gaidres. “I don’t want it, not yet, don’t make me sleep. Please, Gaidres.” Gaidres reached out and took the wine from the boy. “I will see that he drinks it.” Caelius clutched his hand, shaking his head. “No, no I don’t want to sleep…please…” Gaidres set the wine down beside the pallet and reached out with his free hand to smooth back the short curls that spilled from beneath the bandage around

Caelius’s head. “Not yet. But in a bit. You do need rest. But not yet, Caelius, I promise.” Caelius calmed, his eyes locked on Gaidres’s face. “You’re alive,” he murmured again, his eyes wondering. “I am.” Gaidres refused to think now of all those who were not. He was and Caelius was. Faustus was safe at the villa and by some mercy of the gods, so was Demos. That was all that mattered in this moment. Almost all that mattered. He would not wait another moment to say what he had to say. He’d spent the last twenty-four hours sure he’d never be able to say it at all and he would not waste this chance he’d been given. Gaidres took a deep breath. “Caelius. Tell me again that you love me.” Caelius’s eyes widened, then his brows knit in confusion. “What?” “Tell me again that you love me.” Pain filled his lover’s eyes and Gaidres memorized the sight of it. He would spend his life making up for having caused such pain with his foolishness and hard-headed fear. He knew what Caelius must be thinking, that Gaidres intended to spurn him again. Still, Caelius spoke, his voice a bare whisper. “I love you.” Gaidres’s free hand came up to cup Caelius’s cheek, thumb brushing his bruised cheekbone. His heart pounding. “I love you, too. My fear ruined that moment and for that I forever beg your forgiveness. I will not allow my fear to ruin any more.” He gave Caelius’s hand a gentle squeeze. “I am

yours.” “Mine?” Caelius repeated in a daze, as if sure he had not heard correctly. “You love me?” “I love you, Caelius,” he said again with a smile, still holding his hand. “And I’ll spend my life proving it to you.” He lifted his hand to touch Gaidres’s face. “I knew you cared, no matter how you denied it, but I did not think that I had been so blessed to have won your heart yet. I…I thought…I was so afraid that after this…that after we found each other, you’d never risk…” Gaidres cut him off with a shake of his head. “I am done being the fool. Just promise me that you will regain your strength quickly and never scare me like this again.” Caelius choked on a sobbing laugh and then moaned, one hand coming to his ribs. Gaidres supported him with strong arms, filled with concern until the coughing passed. He needed rest. It was a blessing from the gods that he had survived. Caelius clutched at him, coughing. “Do not worry. I give you my word as you gave me yours. I will recover quickly and plague you with my dreaming for a very long time to come.” Gaidres eased Caelius gently back onto the pallet. He ached to hold his lover but here, dressed as a soldier, he could not. He glanced around, catching one of the medicus’s boys as he passed. “You there, boy. Go and find someone to alert the house of Laraniia that their master lives and to send help here to transport him home.” He met the boy’s stare, tone fierce. “Do it quickly and there will be

coin for you, you have my word.” That got action, and the boy scurried from the temple. Gaidres turned back to Caelius and reached for the wine. Caelius shook his head, turning his face away. “Gaidres, no…I do not wish to sleep. You are here, you live. You love me. I could run back to Fidena without aid knowing that.” Gaidres touched Caelius’s cheek. “I am here and I am not going anywhere. I promise you. I will be right beside you when you wake. The gods themselves could not move me. Drink. I would not have you in pain.” His words seemed to get through the fog Caelius was drifting in and out of, and the other man sipped from the cup before laying his head back down. His dark eyes saddened. “The others…Gaidres, all of the others…” His voice broke. Gaidres shook his head, squeezing Caelius’s hand. “Do not think of it now. Rest, heal. All will be well.” He met Caelius’s eyes. “Do you trust me?” Caelius nodded, his face already relaxing as the drugged wine began to work. “Of course. All will be well. I love you…” The last drifted off as Caelius’s eyes fell closed and sleep took him. Gaidres settled down beside the pallet, forcing himself to release Caelius’s hand lest anyone see and question. He glanced toward the temple entrance, anxious for word from the villa in Fidena and someone to help him bring Caelius home where he belonged. And while he had told Caelius not to think on all the

others, from their ludus and beyond, Gaidres did not have the luxury of drugged wine to aid him. Still, he reminded himself every time the depth of loss would hit him, Caelius was alive. He would sacrifice anyone, including himself, to make that so.

Chapter Twenty Caelius could not lie in bed anymore, staring up at the ceiling, or he would go mad. The medicus had said he should stay in bed a week and Gaidres had taken that to be a sacred order from the gods. The first two days had not been difficult. He had drifted in and out of a drugged sleep, waking up long enough to eat, be cosseted and send everyone scurrying to see who else had survived and come home. The only thing that had made it bearable was Gaidres’s presence and the fierce love in his eyes whenever he sat by the bed. He brought Faustus for visits and other times sat and spoke with Caelius, holding his hand until he could sleep again. Caelius pushed himself up as Helene peeked in. “Has anyone reported from the arena?” he demanded. “Not yet, Dominus.” Helene came forward to ease another cushion behind him. She tried to keep her expression smooth, but Caelius knew her well and saw the bleakness in her eyes. Caelius had given up hope that any more survivors would be found. Since yesterday all that had been discovered were more bodies. He received no rest when he closed his eyes. Either he was trapped back under the rubble knowing Gaidres hunted for him in vain or else Felix and Gaidres’s fallen haunted his dreams. “Can you bring me Faustus?” Caelius asked, desperate for some distraction.

“He sleeps now, Dominus. Perhaps when he wakens, if you promise me you’ll not allow him to crawl all over you. You will injure yourself more.” Caelius cast her a dark look. “Who is dominus here?” A smile cracked Helene’s weathered face. “I look at you and see the young man I paddled for stealing sweets. If you have no further need of me, I’ll go check on my other demanding charge.” She left him to his thoughts. He was ready to be out of bed, yet Gaidres would not allow him. And not only was his lover restricting him to his bed, everyone in the household was deferring to Gaidres’s wishes on the matter. Caelius closed his eyes against the grief that threatened to overwhelm him. Felix, the doctoré, Marius, Rufus, Kashta… He went through the names one by one of all the dead in his household. All for what? “Felix, I shall miss you the most.” He pressed his lips together in a hard line and tossed his blankets back, ignoring the pain in his ribs as he levered himself up and swung his legs over the bed. Never again would he allow such senseless death to ravage his people. The large bruise that covered his thigh was finally changing colors and he still limped as he went to search for a tunic. A wave of dizziness went over him as he struggled into his garments. But it disappeared with a splash of cool water on his face. He had people to see to, work to do. He’d check on Demos first. Once again grief struck and Caelius pushed it away. There was too much to do.

Being careful not to move too fast, he made his way toward the ludus and paused in the tunnel, hovering as he spotted Gaidres outside the ludus, brows furrowed as he spoke with the medicus. Caelius shrank back before Gaidres noticed him in the shadows. He had not expected his lover to be here. “If you think it was bad food, why did no one else take ill? We all shared the same meal the night before the Lupercalia. It makes no sense.” Gaidres frowned at the medicus. The medicus sighed and made a helpless gesture. “I do not know. It was a special meal, not the normal fare, perhaps some unfamiliar part made him ill. I’ve seen that happen to men when they’ve eaten something they had not been exposed to before. At any rate, Demos is lucky, for it kept him from participating in the games that day. He is finally up and about, though still weak.” Gaidres nodded, lips pressed together as the medicus headed back inside to tend to Demos. He seemed about to follow, but then he spied Caelius in the tunnel and his brows shot up. He strode across the training ground with an exasperated expression on his face. If Caelius gave him half a chance he’d find himself back in bed before he could blink. “I am fine. Gaidres, please, I cannot lie in bed a moment longer. There is too much to be done! My ribs barely twinge now, I assure you, and my leg takes much of my weight without trouble.” He peered up at him. “Is Demos well?”

Gaidres slid one arm around Caelius’s waist, urging him to let Gaidres take much of his weight as he began to turn him back toward the villa. He supported him with that rare gentleness Caelius had seen in him when he let down his guard. “He is fine. Much better. Better than you, I wager, but then he is following the medicus’s orders. Unlike someone else I could mention.” Caelius clutched Gaidres’s arm and cursed his own weakness as Gaidres moved him toward the villa. He didn’t have the strength to fight. He glanced over his shoulder at the ludus, frustration eating at him. “Gaidres, I cannot lie about in bed like an invalid any longer.” “You are an invalid, and until the medicus says you can move about, in bed you will stay.” Caelius glanced at the stubborn set of Gaidres’s jaw and clenched his teeth together. The man would not listen to reason. He thought about digging in his heels until he remembered what happened yesterday. He’d stumbled and then the next thing he’d known Gaidres had been carrying him back to his rooms. At least this time, he’d been spared that indignity, but if he balked too much his lover would do it all over again. The combination of frustration and grief was overwhelming. “Gaidres, please, not our rooms. Set me up on a couch in one of the main rooms if you must, but I need to be doing something or else I’ll go mad.” Gaidres looked as if he was about to refuse, but then he glanced at Caelius’s face and his expression softened. “I’ll

consider it after you’ve eaten.” “We should have Demos moved to the villa. It’s not right that he be locked up in the ludus alone. In fact, I do not see why he should be in a cell at all.” He scowled as Gaidres maneuvered him down the corridor. “The ludus is no more and I’ll not be opening it again, no matter what anyone says.” It was cursed, the whole villa in Fidena was cursed and had been since before Caelius had come to live there. The spirit of his uncle, no doubt, who’d destroyed everything he touched. Gaidres helped Caelius back into his bed with a look of relief on his face. “I agree. The medicus wanted to be sure whatever was ailing Demos was not contagious. He is fast on the mend, however, and I’d planned to speak with you to be sure it was alright to move him.” He chuckled at Caelius’s incredulous look. “Though I knew it would be. And I have been seeing to the others’ belongings myself, Dominus.” Caelius’s face tightened. “Why do you still call me that? I hate it.” Gaidres smiled, shrugging as he sat on the bed beside him. “Because it is still what you are. Only those within these walls know what you are master of to me.” “You just strong-armed me into bed against my will! What is it I am master of?” A look of such love entered Gaidres’s eyes that Caelius’s throat ached. “My heart.”

Caelius was rendered speechless by that soft comment. He stared at Gaidres, his heart filling until he thought he had to be glowing from the inside out. He had never known such happiness. “Well…then perhaps I do not mind it.” “I thought not.” The man was the worst patient to ever exist, and Gaidres adored him. It was such a relief to admit it, to embrace it. How could he have ever denied it? He glanced up and then rose to take the tray of food from Aelia. Before Caelius, it would never have occurred to him to ask nor care about using a fellow slave’s name. But it seemed his lover’s need to make everyone in his home a part of his family was rubbing off. Gaidres turned back to the bed and set the tray beside it. “You must eat. You have not had enough to sustain a child the past three days.” “I have not done anything to require eating,” Caelius said in exasperation, though he accepted the wine and bread Gaidres handed him. “Nonsense. Your body heals and requires nourishment to do so.” Gaidres sat on the side of the bed. He had much to see to and the household was still in an uproar, but he would not leave Caelius alone with his morose thoughts. “I understand you chafe at being confined, Caelius, but your body will not heal as well if you strain it.” Caelius winced and took a sip of wine. “I’m not the kind of man to lie about being coddled while everyone else is busy.”

Gaidres said nothing, simply handed him some cheese and meat when Caelius finished the bread. It had the desired effect and Caelius sighed. “My apologies, love. I do not wish to burden you even more. It’s just…My mind is not broken and being alone with my thoughts, with nothing to do…it does not help me heal either. There must be things that I can do that don’t require me to move about. I know there are. I can think of a dozen right now.” Gaidres tilted his head. “I do not think it is duties to busy you that you need.” Caelius frowned, eyes tired and sad. “What is it you think I need?” He didn’t take the sullen tone personally. What had happened had affected them all, but for Caelius he knew that the injuries were the least of his concerns. It was his lover’s heart and mind that had taken the brunt of it and Gaidres knew the kind of guilt he was feeling over the loss of so many from his ludus and his home. “I know your guilt. I also know it is unwarranted. You did nothing wrong. In fact, reports are circulating that Atilius sought to save himself coin when he erected the arena— they say he failed to have the site inspected. The ground was too sandy and shifted beneath the weight. The tragedy lies on the shoulders of Atilius, who has paid the ultimate price for his foolishness. He died with the rest.” Caelius’s expression changed, from sullen to strained with sorrow. “I’d heard the rumors of Atilius cutting corners, Gaidres. I sent them out there. I sent you out there…all for

some foolish aspiration to a political office I do not even want anymore. Maybe never did.” Gaidres shook his head, taking the tray from him and then sliding into the bed beside Caelius to draw him into his arms. “You could not foresee what would happen. We do not choose others’ fates. That is decided by those far greater than ourselves. And you and I both know you did not send me anywhere. I went whether you liked it or not.” “And I did not!” “I know. And yet still you carry guilt for it, as if you pushed me on to the sand. As if you pushed any of the others there either. Think you Marius and Rufus and the doctoré would have chosen to be anywhere but at the arena that day? That they, too, would not have insisted on fighting?” Gaidres shook his head. “We are fighting men, one and all.” Caelius frowned, as if trying to reconcile Gaidres’s words with his heart. But Gaidres knew he spoke the truth. Maybe some of the men would have taken Caelius up on his offer, but not all. Not even most. Caelius laid his head on Gaidres’s shoulder. “You speak sense, Gaidres. My mind knows this, but my heart cannot agree.” He looked up into Gaidres’s eyes. “I’m alive, and I have everything I could ever have wished for, knowing that you love me.” “And you drown yourself in guilt because you survived and they did not. I understand better than you think, Caelius. I feel the same way. I am here, happy with you, but if there is one thing I’ve learned recently it’s that you can only take care of the living. By some grace of the gods we’re alive

and I’m going to continue living and loving you. All those who died will not be forgotten. Not by me or you or anyone else in your house.” Caelius blinked, eyes damp. “I want to go home, Gaidres. I don’t ever wish to see this cursed place again. And I want to go home with you by my side as a free man and my lover. Please, Gaidres.” Gaidres sighed. “As your lover, yes, I will go anywhere you wish. But a former slave, were you to free me, is still a slave in the eyes of the world. I would not subject you to the ridicule, or worse, of being known to have lowered yourself in such a way. And what of Faustus? Your villa is not the world, Caelius, as much as you might wish it to be. You cannot surround us all in cotton wool and protect us from the cruelty outside the gates.” Even a former slave could not rise but so far above his former life. Perhaps in some far-flung place, some exotic country where Rome and status mattered little…perhaps there they could have some semblance of a normal life. But not here. Not anywhere near here. The moment he’d been captured, any chance to become something besides a slave had been lost. And that included the chance to be the man Caelius spent his life loving, without hiding. “I care not what others think, you know that.” “Yes, I do. But just because you do not care does not mean there are not repercussions, and I do not want that for you or Faustus.” He cupped Caelius’s cheek in his hand, his heart so newly freed to revel in the emotions now near to bursting with the tenderness he felt. “We can go to

Caere, and live on as we have so far. We can have that, and it is not so much of a chore, is it? You do not understand much of the cruelty in this world, I think, but I have seen the worst of it. Believe me when I say there is no way.” “But there is!” Caelius shook his head, seeming to shed his sour mood as he pushed to sit up and face Gaidres. His eyes were pleading. “There is a way and that you cannot see it tells me how very much a man like you needs a dreamer after all.” “I do not understand…” “Hear me out. Argon the gladiator…Argon the slave died in the arena, with every other man in my ludus. Our people in Caere know you to be Gaidres. They believe you to be free already and have accepted you as my lover. You can be who you were meant to be in Caere, Gaidres the free man and Argon no longer.” Gaidres knew what Caelius was thinking, and his heart pounded, shaking his head even as hope sprang into his throat to almost choke him. “But there are those who could recognize my face. I fought for your uncle before he brought his ludus to ruin.” “Who, my love? Who would make the connection between Argon the gladiator and Gaidres the free man and my lover? Anyone who followed the games around Fidena was in that arena when it fell. If they survived, they have far more on their minds than a slave whom they never owned in the first place. How many Romans take notice of the slaves

they do have?” Oh, how he struggled inside, the need to agree warring with caution. Caelius seemed to sense Gaidres’s wavering and reached up to cup his face in his hands. “You know you belong by my side, Gaidres. You are a natural leader, others look to you for guidance, the children there worship you.” Gaidres swallowed hard as he closed his eyes. “Caelius, the people here in your villa know the truth.” “Why would they say anything?” Caelius gave him a gentle smile as Gaidres opened his eyes again. He brushed his thumb over the curve of Gaidres’s cheek. “They are loyal to me and you have won their hearts and respect this last week as well. You could have run, and most would not have blamed you, yet you did not. You found me, you brought me home and you’ve cared for them all these past days. Who would begrudge you this bit of happiness you have earned? Demos? He is your friend. You think Helene would say anything, knowing how much Faustus loves you? Or any of the others?” For the first time, Gaidres felt a true glimmer of hope. Hope that perhaps Caelius’s dreams were not quite so farfetched as he’d believed. Even still, he hesitated. “No one would believe I am a Roman…” “Would they not? Who was it that stormed into the heart of Rome herself in the guise of a Roman soldier to find me? People believe what they are told unless given reason not to. There would be no reason to doubt who we say you are with no one and nothing to say otherwise.”

By the gods, he was right. No one had looked askance at him. Even the other soldiers had believed he was who he appeared simply because he put on the right garments and behaved as if he belonged. “It could not be that easy…” Could it? “Why not? You have been a slave for far too long, it’s true, but in your heart no one has ever owned you. We both know that. Perhaps the tragedy of the arena collapse can, in some way, be turned for the good. We have this chance, Gaidres. Take it with me. Please.” How could he argue? When Caelius’s eyes pleaded, when the idea of sharing a life with him, of watching Faustus growing to know him as the free man who loved his father and not a slave his father owned…it was so much more than he’d ever dared dream of since the day Kerses had been stolen from him and with him, his future. His hope. “Perhaps I do need a dreamer, then. Not just any, though. You.” Caelius’s breath caught and his lips began to curve in hope. “Does that mean you will agree?” Gaidres chuckled, more than a little breathless himself. “I think it does.” Caelius closed his eyes tight and leaned forward to wrap his arms around Gaidres’s neck. “Thank you, my love. We will thrive, Gaidres, you’ll see. When we’re in Caere where we belong, we’ll thrive and care for our own.” Gaidres chuckled and turned his head to capture Caelius’s mouth. The other man sank into the kiss, lips parting in surrender and did not protest as Gaidres eased

him back onto the bed. “I do love you so,” Caelius whispered as the kiss broke. “And I you, Caelius.” Gaidres slid his hand through Caelius’s curls. “How could I not when you have given me so much of yourself.” “When can we go? At the beginning of the next week?” Caelius asked, eager eyes searching Gaidres’s face. Gaidres gave him a pointed look. “We can go when you stop having those moments of dizziness and when your face stops turning white whenever you move too fast. Which means if you want to leave sooner you must stay in bed now as the medicus advises.” Caelius started to protest and then clamped his lips shut, eyes bright. “There will be many things to see to in the meantime. Perhaps I could attend to a few of the details from my bed.” Gaidres had a feeling he wouldn’t be having any further issues keeping Caelius from trying to take on too much, now that the reward for not doing so was a quicker departure for Caere. “Good. In the meantime, I will see to it that the ludus and the villa are prepared to be put on the market.” Caelius shook his head. “Not the buildings. I want the place torn down. It is cursed and I have no wish to pass that curse on to anyone else.” Gaidres hesitated. It seemed a waste, after all the work Caelius had done to repair and improve both the villa and the ludus. But in the end it was Caelius’s decision. “Very well. I will spread the word that we will be departing in a

week’s time. The slaves will come with us, I assume?” “Yes, everyone who wants to come.” “Good. Now rest. I will bring Faustus when he awakes from his nap.” The babe became fussy when he did not get to spend the time he’d become used to with his father. It made his heart swell when the boy had the same reaction to missing him, as well. Caelius reached out and caught Gaidres’s hand, squeezing it. “You will see, Gaidres. We will have it all.” A tingle of foreboding ran down his spine. No one had it all. But he brushed it off and bent to press a kiss to Caelius’s smiling lips. “Dream hard enough for us both, Caelius.” In the meantime, Gaidres had a lot of reality to deal with and with a parting smile he left the chamber, nodding to Hierocles who hovered outside. As he strode toward the ludus to see to having Demos moved to the villa, he let himself daydream just a bit. Having it all wasn’t necessary, as far as Gaidres was concerned. But they would have everything they needed to be happy. That was enough.

Chapter Twenty-One Gaidres wasn’t sure what stirred him. He lay still for a moment, mind registering, even in his half-asleep state, the warm weight of Caelius against him, his lover’s cheek against his chest and the steady sound of his soft breath in the near-silence. Near-silence. It was at that instant that several things became clear in his conscious mind. They were not alone. Caelius was still sound asleep. They were not alone. It took only a heartbeat, but still it was almost too late as Gaidres shoved Caelius from him and his hands came up as his eyes flew open. A sharp burn sliced across his forearm as his eyes focused and then discerned a form bending over the bed. Gaidres shouted a warning, fingers clamping on the hand coming down a second time, this time registering the blade in the intruder’s grip. “Caelius! Run!” He rolled toward the side of the bed and the intruder, used his body as a weapon to knock the man aside and then stumbled to his feet just in time to take a hard shoulder to his stomach as the intruder charged. Caelius scrambled from the bed as Gaidres doubled over, gasping for air. Hierocles straightened, raising a dagger. “Hierocles,” Caelius shouted. “What madness has taken you? Guards!” Hierocles’s gaze flashed to Caelius, taking his eyes off Gaidres for a mere second, but that was enough to allow Gaidres an opening. He barreled into Hierocles, his hands

locked around the man’s wrists as they struggled. “You.” Hierocles glared his hatred at Gaidres. “Why won’t you die! I’m going to kill you, then I’m going to kill your foolish lover, the brat, Demos…everyone you’ve ever cared for, Lion.” Gaidres snarled, slamming Hierocles back against the wall. His blood ran cold at the threat to Caelius and Faustus, bringing back the helplessness of the day Kerses died. Not this time, by the gods. This time he would not fail to protect those he loved. He released one of Hierocles’s hands and slammed his fist into the man’s jaw. Before he could strike again the man clawed out at Gaidres’s eyes and drove his knee into Gaidres’s groin, sending him reeling back in pain. “Coward!” He was almost as infuriated by the craven tactics as he was by everything else. Through the blur of stinging eyes and the nauseating throbbing between his thighs, Gaidres saw Hierocles scramble out of reach. “Coward? It is you who is the coward! What lies did you tell when you made our master your whore? All to gain your freedom, advance your position, and crush the rest of us beneath your heel!” Hierocles’s voice was shrill and Gaidres thought he must be insane. “And now you will run off to Caere and pretend to be a Roman? While the rest of us slave away fetching your wine? I think not!” Gaidres tensed as Caelius strode forward, brandishing Gaidres’s sword. By the gods, what was he doing with a sword? “Caelius! Stay back!”

Hierocles turned, waving the dagger toward Caelius, and Gaidres’s heart leaped into his throat. “Yes, stay back. Do what you’re told like a good little whore, Dominus! Don’t worry, I will be coming for you when he is gone.” Hierocles scowled at them both, shifting his focus but never lingering long enough to give Gaidres a chance to charge him. A cold, implacable fury filled Caelius like nothing he had ever known before. Hierocles was armed and armored, Gaidres was naked. His lover may be stronger and better skilled, but he was already bleeding. And now all the unanswered questions came together and made sense. “You are the one who damaged Gaidres’s sword so that it would break in combat. You are the one who poisoned the food and wine that made Demos ill,” Caelius said in a deadly quiet voice. “Yes!” Spittle bubbled at Hierocles’s lips, a feverish light in his eyes. “And yet Argon still lives. Worse than a rat, currying your favor and being named champion when all he’s done well is fuck you!” “Who else should have been named?” Gaidres sneered and Caelius stared at him in shock. He’d never heard such a tone in Gaidres’s voice before. Was he seeking to infuriate the madman more? “You, who was worse than useless in the ludus?” Hierocles shrieked in rage and rushed Gaidres, his attention all on the other man as he seemed to forget that

Caelius existed at all. Again and again he lashed out at Gaidres who wove and dodged, the dagger coming closer with each strike. His heart in his throat, Caelius circled them trying to find an opening, anything. The sword was an unfamiliar weight in his hands. His father had insisted that he learn and Caelius had hated every minute of it, hated even more the short time he’d been sent to be a soldier. As a result he had not touched a sword in years. There was no way he could give Gaidres the weapon or strike out at Hierocles himself without endangering his lover. Footsteps pounded down the corridor toward them and Caelius raised his voice. “See to my son.” Once again, he circled as Hierocles charged at Gaidres, dagger raised. His lover twisted his body out of the way, crying out as the madman’s momentum carried him past Gaidres and straight toward Caelius. “No!” Caelius raised the sword on sudden instinct, shock reverberating through him as Hierocles skewered himself upon the blade with a shriek of agony. Caelius felt ill as he looked into the dying man’s face. It had all happened so fast, yet there was a certain sense of chilly justice to the moment. The dagger clattered from Hierocles’s hand and his eyes widened as he clutched at the blade buried in his chest. Caelius steeled himself. This was the same man who had just attacked Gaidres without provocation. Who had tried to kill him numerous times out of jealousy. Hierocles deserved to die. “Do not mistake gentleness for weakness, or confuse

mercy with the inability to take care of my own,” Caelius said, his voice steady though his insides trembled. The light left Hierocles’s eyes and the man’s knees sagged. Gaidres rushed forward, one arm sliding around Caelius’s waist and pulling him away. As Caelius released the hilt of the sword, Hierocles crumpled and Gaidres gathered Caelius close, drawing him away to the other side of the room. Caelius shook, hands clenched into fists against Gaidres’s chest as he burrowed into Gaidres’s arms. “Have you taken any hurt?” Caelius’s arms slid around Gaidres’s neck until he was clinging. “I’m fine,” he whispered, voice muffled. He started shaking. Gaidres guided him toward the bed and reached one hand out to grab Caelius’s robe, wrapping it around his shoulders without letting go of him. His mind spun. All this time, Hierocles had been plotting, making sly attempts to rid himself of Gaidres, as if with Gaidres gone he would have advanced? Marius or Rufus would have taken Gaidres’s place as champion, but in his madness and envy, Hierocles hadn’t seen that. How had no one noticed? Guards rushed through the doorway and Gaidres gestured to Hierocles’s body and reached for his subligar. “Come, let them handle it.” “I’m going to be ill.” Caelius breathed in the scent of Gaidres’s skin and tried to calm himself. Never again did he want to see Gaidres in such a position. Gaidres’s hand smoothed through his hair and down his back. He tried to

ignore the sound of the body being dragged away. “You wouldn’t be the first man who has done so.” Gaidres pulled back to search Caelius’s face. Gaidres’s eyes were shadowed with worry. “Speak your thoughts to me, Caelius.” Caelius cupped Gaidres’s face in his hands, everything still in a whirl of fury and fear. “Do not ever draw the attention of a madman again. My heart died when you taunted him.” Gaidres slipped his hand around the nape of Caelius’s neck and drew him closer, kissing him. “Agreed, as long as I never see another sword in your hands.” “Agreed.” Caelius never even wanted to look at another blade. Gods, he wanted to be gone from this place. He was so sick of the stench of death. He drew in a deep breath until he felt steadier. He raised his head and looked at Aelia hovering in the doorway, her face white. “Bring the medicus. Gaidres needs tending.” With trembling fingers, Caelius examined the cut on Gaidres’s arm. It would require stitchery, but at least it was a clean slice. “I don’t understand. How had his mind come to be so poisoned? You know the men better than I…surely Demos doesn’t feel the same rancor toward you?” Gaidres shook his head, his expression firm. “No. I have no doubts about Demos and his friendship. I do not know how we could have been missed Hierocles’s spite. He hid it well it seems, but…no. Not Demos.” Caelius couldn’t hide his relief, glancing up as the medicus hurried in and began to examine Gaidres’s arm. “If

you are sure. I did not want to think it, but…” “No. It is understandable. Here, sit.” Then Gaidres surged to his feet. “No, come with me.” He reached for Caelius’s hand. “Faustus.” Caelius’s breath caught and they began for the door in a rush when Helene appeared, carrying his son. Gaidres stepped forward, then his eyes fell on the stain on the floor where Hierocles had fallen and shook his head. “Helene, not in here. Caelius, go with her, I will let the medicus finish.” Caelius looked at his lover, torn, then leaned to brush a kiss to Gaidres’s lips before leaving the room followed by the nurse. Thank the gods they were leaving in the morning. Hierocles must have seen this as his last chance. With so many of the household dead or gone, having been pensioned generously off if they’d chosen not to follow them to Caere, it’d been the best opportunity. Hierocles must have known he’d never succeed in Caere, where there were so many more people, soldiers, all to the death loyal to Caelius and, by association, Gaidres. Caelius cradled Faustus in the atrium, rocking with him on a bench until Gaidres returned. His lover sat beside him, smiling when Faustus burbled happily at the sight of him. “Are you well now?” One of his hands came to rest on Caelius’s back. Caelius glanced at him, shaking his head. “I will not be until we leave this place. It will be dawn soon. Gaidres, please…can we not go now? This moment? I cannot be here any longer. There is too much death, too much hate

and hurt here. It sickens me.” “My gentle dreamer,” Gaidres said with such love in his eyes that Caelius’s heart ached. He touched his forehead to Caelius’s, reaching a finger down to Faustus who wiggled his hand free and grabbed it. “I agree, we’ll not stay a moment longer than necessary here.” Caelius’s throat tightened and he closed his eyes, drawing in a breath. “Gratitude. I’ll not be able to sleep right until we are home.” It seemed almost a crime to so hate a place that had given him the two people who were the center of his life. He’d met Gaidres here and Faustus had been born within these walls, but none of them had been happy here. Gaidres had been tormented and what peace he’d known had been far away from here. No, none of them would miss this place. Demos came in, his face sick with apprehension. Caelius thought a guard’s uniform suited him far more than gladiator gear and he was grateful that Hierocles’s madness had not infected others in the ludus. “Dominus… Ar—Gaidres…I heard the uproar. Is it true?” His eyes fell to the bandage on Gaidres’s arm and his eyes flashed in anger. “I’m not sure what you have heard, but Hierocles set upon us as we slept,” Gaidres replied. “I wondered how he managed to land a blow on you.” Demos and Gaidres shared a quick look of camaraderie. Caelius was glad that his fear had been unfounded. Gaidres had a true friend and that made the thought of him

being in that cell for all those months a little more bearable. “Summon the rest of the guard, Demos, and rouse anyone else who has managed to stay asleep through all of this,” Gaidres ordered. “Dominus wants us all to go home where we belong.” Caelius’s heart flipped over and he leaned in to brush his lips over Gaidres’s. “There aren’t words for how much I love you, Gaidres.” “And I, you, Dominus.” Gaidres rose and reached to take Faustus from Caelius. “Come, we will return him to Helene for the time being and gather the last of your things before we leave. We should be ready to depart within the hour.” Caelius nodded, following Gaidres down the hall to the nursery where Helene was already pulling together what was left of his son’s belongings. Gaidres wanted to laugh with happiness as they entered the nursery. They were beginning their new life tonight. Right now. It was difficult to feel anything but joy. “Helene, take Faustus. We’ve set a guard at the door, though I doubt there is anything more to fear. Nevertheless, remain here until one of us comes when it is time to go.” He wasn’t taking any chances. Not with his family. That struck him hard and he glanced down at Faustus, who beamed up at him full of simple happiness just to be held by Gaidres. His family. He had long ago lost all hope of ever having one again. Gaidres glanced over at Caelius and his lips curved,

throat tight with emotion. “Thank you.” Caelius responded with a small smile. “For what?” That Caelius even had to ask said so much, mostly about how innate his kindness and love was. It never occurred to Caelius that he’d done anything to be thanked for, while Gaidres didn’t think he could ever thank him enough. Instead of answering, he bent and kissed Faustus’s cheek before handing him off and then reaching for Caelius’s hand. “Come. Our home is waiting.” Caelius beamed. “Then let’s not make it wait a moment longer.”

Authors’ Note As writers, one of the best parts of what we do is getting to pore over numerous thick, sometimes wonderfully musty, research books. It’s easy sometimes to get caught up in the past when we’re learning about the time period we plan to write in. For The Gladiator’s Master, the research phase was especially fun. We made bookstore clerks gape with the piles of books we’d slap down to purchase in one go on their counter. We spent hours tucked on the couch with Post-It tabs marking important or interesting bits we read. It was in exactly that way one night that we found the key element of the big ending. You see, the collapse of the arena at Fidena isn’t something we made up. It actually happened. Atilius’s arena was built too big, too quickly and the cost of this was one of the worst disasters to befall an amphitheatre in the history of the games. Cornelius Tacitus, a well-known senator and historian of the time, recorded the event as follows:

In the consulate of Marcus Licinius and Lucius Calpurnius the casualties of some great war was equaled by an unexpected disaster. It began and ended in a moment. A certain Atilius, of the freedman class, who had begun an amphitheater at Fidena, in order to give a gladiatorial show, failed

both to lay the foundation in solid ground and to secure the fastenings of the wooden structure above…the gravity of the catastrophe, as the unwieldy construct was packed with people when it collapsed, breaking inward or sagging outward, and precipitating and burying a vast crowd of human beings, intent on the spectacle or just standing around…fifty thousand persons were maimed or crushed to death in the disaster. It’s now generally believed that the fifty thousand number is a bit high, but certainly in the tens of thousands were injured and killed. When we read about the collapse, it was immediately apparent that this—which happened to occur in the very year we’d set our novel—had to be the lifealtering moment for our heroes (and everyone around them). And it is things like this that make writing historical romance so exhilarating. Because we get to bring that to life, in the present, when most people would never know the event in question ever happened. We hope you enjoyed our tale. Thank you for reading! Fae and Marguerite

About the Authors Fae’s bio: Fae Sutherland has always dreamed of being a published author, starting her writing career at age 11 with a series of short stories so bad only a 6th-grader could have written them. Today, she has progressed to more serious writing, though always keeping that dash of irreverence and fun (and a hell of a lot more heat!). Fae prefers writing with her coauthor Marguerite Labbe best. Between them they are the award-winning authors of multiple novels, novellas and short stories (both jointly written and solo) and continue to have more ideas than they can ever possibly write. When Fae’s not working on new stories to make her readers sweat, she spends her time on website design, too much time on Twitter, and watching oodles of Food Network with her beloved life partner. If there’s any time left over, it’s spent snuggling the cat.

Marguerite’s bio: Marguerite Labbe has been accused of being eccentric and a shade neurotic, both of which she freely admits to, but her muse has OCD tendencies, so who can blame her? Her husband and son do an excellent job keeping her toeing the line, though. Together with her coauthor Fae Sutherland, Marguerite has found a shared passion for beautiful men with smart mouths. When she’s not working hard on writing new material and

editing completed work, she spends her time reading novels of all genres, enjoying role-playing games with her equally nutty friends and trying to plot practical jokes against her son and husband. Her son is learning the tricks too quickly and likes to retaliate. You’d think she’d learn.

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ISBN: 978-1-4268-9229-5 Copyright © 2011 by Fae Sutherland and Marguerite Labbe All rights reserved. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9. All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention. This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin

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