Survival

SURVIVAL

D. J. Manly

www.loose-id.com

Warning This e-book contains sexually explicit scenes and adult language and may be considered offensive to some readers. Loose Id® e-books are for sale to adults ONLY, as defined by the laws of the country in which you made your purchase. Please store your files wisely, where they cannot be accessed by under-aged readers.

Survival D. J. Manly This e-book is a work of fiction. While reference might be made to actual historical events or existing locations, the names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Published by Loose Id LLC 1802 N Carson Street, Suite 212-2924 Carson City NV 89701-1215 www.loose-id.com

Copyright © July 2008 by D. J. Manly All rights reserved. This copy is intended for the purchaser of this e-book ONLY. No part of this e-book may be reproduced or shared in any form, including, but not limited to printing, photocopying, faxing, or emailing without prior written permission from Loose Id LLC.

ISBN 978-1-59632-719-1 Available in Adobe PDF, HTML, MobiPocket, and MS Reader

Printed in the United States of America

Editor: Maryam Salim Cover Artist: Anne Cain

www.loose-id.com

Chapter One “Why so gloomy?” Those words seemed to temporarily drown out the music that vibrated in his ears. Russ gazed at the man through bloodshot eyes as if he really wasn’t seeing him. “Fuck off,” he muttered as he lowered his mouth back down to his drink. He’d deliberately driven halfway across town to find a bar where no one knew him. He just wanted to get blasted out of his mind, undisturbed. The man slid onto the barstool beside him. “Gloomy Gus, gloomy Gus,” he taunted. Russ glanced at him. “My name isn’t Gus and I’m not interested.” “That’s too bad, about being not interested, I mean. And I know your name isn’t Gus. It does rhyme, however. I wonder why it was Gus who got to be gloomy.” Russ glanced at him, then away. “How’ve you been? Not too well, I guess. It’s understandable.” “Look,” Russ told him from between clenched teeth, intently studying the smoky liquid in his glass, “is it that you don’t understand the meaning of the words fuck and off ?” “No, no. I understand them fine.” “Fantastic, so, go understand them” -- Russ glared at him -- “somewhere else.” He signalled the bartender. “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Russ narrowed his eyes. He turned towards the voice. The man beside him was probably not much older than he, twenty-three or twenty-four, wavy blond hair, rather average looking. There was something familiar about him. “Do I…know you?” “Know me?” He smiled. “I can’t say that you really know me, although you should remember me. I sat right behind you in grade twelve math. Remember Mrs. Hearth?”

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The bartender stood in front of him now. Russ lifted his glass, indicating he wanted another of the same. “Let me get that,” the man said. Russ started to protest, but the bartender had already accepted the bill. He set down another full glass in front of him. “My name is Eddie, Eddie Short.” Russ ignored the hand he offered. “Look, I’m not looking to get laid. So you can buy me all the booze you want, I --” “There are no conditions attached, just a friendly drink between old acquaintances.” “I can’t say that I remember you.” Russ grunted, picking up his glass. “You wouldn’t. I’ve changed some. I was pretty heavy back in high school, wore thick glasses.” Russ looked at him again. “Short the dork?” Eddie’s face darkened a little. “I’m a…sorry…I…” “It’s okay. Yes, that was what they used to call me, among other things.” Russ took a long sip of his drink. “High school was tough.” “Yes, tougher for some than others.” “Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but I did come here to be alone, so if you don’t mind…I…” Russ trailed off, swallowing some more of his whiskey. “I would have never pegged you for a whiskey man.” Maybe if he ignored him, he’d go away. “You got loaded on Southern Comfort once back in high school. Man, were you sick.” “I don’t remember that.” “I remember everything about you.” Russ laughed a little uneasily. “What are you, some kind of a nut job?” He finished off his drink. After a few minutes, Eddie said, “There’s something I’m trying to figure out.” “I seriously don’t give a shit what that is, so --” “Not nice.” He clicked his tongue. “I know it’s taking all you got right now not to stand up and slug me. I’ve seen your temper. You beat the crap out a guy in a bar once, but if I remember correctly, he started it.” Russ tilted his head. “Hey, you following me around or what?” “I wonder what’s eating you up the most right now, Russell. Is it that you still love him or is it that you hate him for destroying your career?”

Survivor

3

Russ stumbled to his feet and almost fell. “Why don’t you fucking get away from me, you creep!” The man sitting on the stool beside him didn’t budge. His face seemed to spin in front of Russ’s face. “You’re drunk. Let me help you.” “I don’t want or need your help,” he slurred, staggering back onto the bar stool. “They’re already here at the hotel. He probably wants to call you, but he won’t.” Russ closed his eyes. “What in hell do you know about it?” “Are you going to the concert? No, you wouldn’t go. It was sold out weeks ago anyway, although I do know a scalper who --” “I wouldn’t be caught dead at that fucking show.” “Is it true Gray is shagging his lead guitarist? It’s just a rumour, of course. You get so much of that talk in those circles. Well” -- he shrugged -- “it’s fitting, I guess. The guy took your place in the band, and it looks like he’s taken your place in bed too.” “You fucker,” Russ muttered. He reached out to grab him by the throat, but only managed to get ahold of his forearm. “Why don’t you get out of my sight before I…” He let go of him. He didn’t feel so well suddenly. The room was spinning around. He heard someone say his name and that was it.

***** Gray walked over to the window in his hotel suite and looked outside. It was almost dawn and those kids were still hanging around hoping to catch a glimpse of one of them. It had started to rain and they were huddled together under some trees in the park. Someone should tell them to go home. Home. That’s where he was finally after almost a year and a half on the road. This was the last stop on the tour. They’d only arrived hours ago from Paris and he couldn’t sleep. He glanced over at the bed. Paul lay there snoring, with two strange guys draped over him. How in the hell was he supposed to sleep? He’d wrapped himself in a duvet and huddled in one of the overstuffed armchairs for a little while, his eyes closed, trying to relax. He was exhausted, but he couldn’t sleep. It was funny. You could anticipate a night for so long and then be completely let down when it arrived. This was their homecoming. This was the night he had dreamt of since he was a kid. He and Russ, together, on that stage, showing them all…all those people who’d said they’d never make it. But he had made it. He was here. But Russ wasn’t. In fact, he hadn’t seen Russ in over three years. So much had changed. He was rich. He was in a relationship with another man, and he was worshipped and adored by millions of fans. It was true, they weren’t at the very top, but they were certainly headed in that direction. They’d opened for three of the top rock acts already and it was only a matter of time until those groups opened for them. When that happened, he’d know they’d really made it.

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Gray returned to his chair. He could have hunted down another room in this huge suite, somewhere he could escape Paul’s snoring. He was sure there was a little corner somewhere free of some hungover partier, but he didn’t feel like exploring. He’d only run into some groupie who wanted to fuck him and he didn’t have the energy for that. He vaguely recalled having his cock sucked by the naked guys who were sleeping on top of Paul, the operative word being vaguely. He couldn’t help wondering if Russ would come to the concert. He thought about sending him a ticket, then changed his mind. “Russ, oh God, I miss you. I miss you so much.” A single tear rolled down his cheek and he brushed it away. He told himself it was exhaustion. It made him emotional. It was just that being back here in this city made him emotional, back here where it had all began.

***** Russ groaned and rolled over onto his back. His head pounded. You’d think he’d learn by now that he couldn’t drink. He glanced up at the ceiling, suddenly realizing that it was an unfamiliar one. “Shit,” he said as he struggled up into a sitting position and looked around him. The first thing he noticed was the walls. They were covered with posters of Survival. That’s all he needed first thing was to open his eyes and see glossy photographs of Gray in tight pants, looking as if he were giving his microphone a blowjob. Gray. Getting piss-assed drunk last night hadn’t wiped the memories away, memories of the way they were, what they’d meant to each other. “Do you love me?” Russ closed his eyes. He’d heard that as if Gray was in this very room with him. His voice, he would never forget what it sounded like, fine and sweet. Russ smiled faintly, lowering his head back down to the pillow. That spot of theirs by the river. God, they’d done some daring things there, lost in time, lost in each other. No one ever went there. It was too far off the road, surrounded by trees. They often went skinny-dipping there, daring each other when the water turned cold. “Say it,” Gray urged, peeking at him from around the trunk of the tree, “say that you love me, Russ.” “Stop teasing me,” he’d groaned. He didn’t want to talk. He wanted him. “You know I do.” “Say it,” he hissed. “Say it and I’ll give you what you want.” He’d stood there shivering in the early autumn, his naked skin still damp from the river. He whipped his hair back, sighed. “I…Gray, please, I love you, okay?” The words had come out soft, a little faint. He swallowed, feeling downright emotional, a little foolish. “Can I now?” Gray came out from behind the tree, so beautiful. He looked like an angel in the sun. “Forever? Say forever, Russ. I couldn’t bear it if you ever stopped loving me.”

Survivor

5

“I won’t,” he said, meeting his gaze. “I couldn’t.” Gray laughed, throwing his arms around him, kissing him passionately, with his whole heart. The door opened suddenly, jarring Russ out of his daydream. That man stood there with a cup of coffee in his hand. “Hot, isn’t he?” “If you like that kind of thing,” Russ muttered, forcing himself back into a sitting position. He threw his long legs over the side of the bed. “Coffee?” He held out the cup. “Just the way you like it, milk, no sugar, and very strong.” Russ suddenly realised that he was in his underwear. “Where are my clothes?” “They’re in the dryer.” He cleared his throat. “Here.” The man came forward and handed him the coffee. “Thanks,” he said as gracefully as he could. “What’s your name again?” “Eddie.” “Ah yeah, right, from high school.” He took a sip of the coffee. “Got any aspirin?” “In the bathroom, but hydration is the best cure.” “Right,” he said, standing up. “You’re even better looking now than you were in high school,” Eddie said, leaning on the doorjamb. “How did I get here?” “I brought you in my car.” “Where am I exactly?” “Lakeview, near Boystown.” “It is Saturday, right?” “Yes.” “What is this” -- he waved his hand around the room -- “a shrine to Survival?” “Of sorts.” Russ walked over to the bureau and leafed through a stack of magazines. Survival was on the cover of every single one. And there was a pack of concert ticket stubs wrapped with an elastic band and even a little figurine of Gray holding his microphone. “You must be a huge fan.” “Not really.” “You could have fooled me.” “I have only one idol.”

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Russ lifted an eyebrow. “You. You’re my only idol.” “Me?” He laughed. “I’m nobody.” “You were Survival. Without you, they’ll always be a second-rate rock band that has to rely on theatrical antics to impress the fans.” Russ laughed. “For someone who has no respect for them, you certainly have seen a lot of their concerts.” “Just research.” “Research? Expensive research. Looks like you’ve been halfway ’round the globe. Have you been to every show?” “Most of them.” “That takes money.” “Yes, but some things you can’t put a price on.” This guy was even stranger than he was in high school. “So, you do remember,” he said, meeting Russ’s gaze. “Remember what?” This guy had intense eyes. They were almost hypnotising. “That I was strange in high school?” “I didn’t say that.” “No, you didn’t say it.” He laughed suddenly. “No worries. I won’t hold it against you. I couldn’t. You see, I want to help you.” “Help me? Help me to do what?” “To be where you’re supposed to be.” “Ah, could I have my clothes?” Suddenly he didn’t like the way this guy was looking at him. “I’m not handsome. Even with the weight loss, I could never measure up to Gray.” He walked over to where one of the posters hung and ran his finger over Gray’s image. “He is truly beautiful with all that silvery blond hair and those eyes. Who could resist them? Like the sea. Green, aren’t they?” “Yes, they’re green,” Russ managed. He could scarcely breathe. “Gorgeous body…muscular and toned, nice cock too.” He glanced over his shoulder at Russ and smiled. “I saw his cock once or twice in the boys’ locker room.” “Ah yeah…well…could I have my clothes now?” He turned and looked at him. “No hurry, is there? You have no reason to be shy. You’re a god, Russ. You are the most beautiful guy I’ve ever seen. I was so jealous of Gray in high school. He got to touch you. I would have died just to talk to you.” Russ’s mouth fell open.

Survivor

7

“Tall, muscular…all that thick black hair, and those eyes. It was no wonder Gray was so crazy in love with you. And the way you play guitar, just like an angel. You used to send me into orgasm with those guitar riffs.” Russ’s heart pounded in his chest. Fear. He felt fear and he wasn’t sure why. This guy wasn’t saying anything threatening. Maybe it was the look in his eyes or the tone of his voice. There was something…something not quite right. “I need to be going.” Russ attempted a smile. He tried to sound as normal as possible. “I want to thank you, Eddie, for all --” Russ stopped speaking. The door to the bedroom slowly swung closed with a bang. “Don’t worry. I’m not angry, Russ. I’m going to help you. All the pain you and Gray inflicted on each other won’t matter anymore. You founded that band and I’m going to restore your rightful place in it. All you have to do is…love me.”

***** “Why don’t you want to talk to the press?” Johnny probed, picking up pieces of bacon off the silver tray on the dining room table and popping them into his mouth. “Would you knock it off with the bacon,” Gray said behind half-closed eyes, “you’re not supposed to eat it.” “Damned doctors don’t know anything. Bacon’s good.” “Well, then, stop hopping around the table and sit down and eat some.” Gray sighed. “You’re getting on my nerves.” “Where’s Paul?” “Sleeping.” “You don’t look like you got any sleep at all.” His stepfather sat down and reached for a plate. He lifted each serving dish cover and took a little bit of food from each. “Any toast?” he asked with a mouthful of scrambled eggs. “Toaster’s there.” Gray pointed to the counter. “You can make your own.” “Why isn’t someone up here serving? I’ll call down to the desk and --” Gray put up a hand. “I asked them not to. I don’t want a bunch of people hovering over me all the damned time.” “Is there brown bread?” “It doesn’t make much of a difference if you slap butter all over it.” Johnny ignored him and got up to make his toast. “I scheduled a press conference today at two this afternoon.” “Cancel it.” “Not advisable, Gray. You are back in Chicago and --”

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“I know where I am.” “As your manager, I --” Gray pushed up off the chair. “Eat your toast. No one will die if we don’t speak to the press today. Reschedule for after the concert. We can speak to them backstage later. Rodney and Ivan don’t want to do it either. They’re exhausted.” “Since when do Rodney and Ivan run this band?” Gray sighed. He hated it when Johnny got this way. “After the concert,” he said, and walked back into the bedroom. The two guys who’d been in bed with Paul were gone. The shower was running. Gray stuck his head around the door. “You didn’t want to do a press conference before the show, did you?” “Hell no. Let ’em eat cake.” “Very funny.” Gray watched as Paul turned off the water and opened the shower door. He reached for a towel. “You’re not sore about last night, are you?” “Should I be?” “I know we agreed that we’d have an open relationship on the road, but --” “But what?” Gray shrugged, walking into the bedroom. Paul followed, rubbing his long brown hair as he went. “Just wanted to make sure you weren’t…well…upset with me.” “Not at all. No big deal.” In fact, he couldn’t have cared less. “So” -- Paul gave him a wry grin -- “here we are, back home in the Windy City.” “Um. Here we are.” “Just wait until you get up there on that stage tonight, Gray. It will feel great,” he said, wrapping his arms around him from behind and kissing his neck. “Yeah,” Gray muttered, pushing him away, “great.”

***** “You must be tired of pulling on that door,” Eddie said, watching him from where he sat perched on the bed. “All you have to do is ask and I’ll open it for you.” “Open it then,” Russ growled. “I will, as soon as you hear me out.” “I don’t want to hear anymore of what you have to say. You’re nuts. You can’t expect me to believe that you can wave a magic wand and fix my life.” “There’s no magic involved. First of all before we proceed, I have to ask you a question. You must answer me honestly.”

Survivor

9

“We are not proceeding with anything.” Russ’s voice raised an octave. “Open this fucking door or I swear…” Eddie stood up. “You won’t hurt me, Russ. You know that I’m not strong enough to fight you and it’s not in your nature to bully the weak.” “What in hell would you know about my nature? You were in my class in school. We weren’t friends, we weren’t anything. And now -- now…you’re going on about love?” “I got ahead of myself; that’s all.” Russ couldn’t help but notice that Eddie’s expression was passive. He didn’t seem to be the least little bit afraid or agitated. He just sat there on that bed, his ankles crossed, leaning back on his palms. He actually smiled. “What in hell is your game? Tell me what you want.” “I want you to answer my question.” “Go ahead. Ask your goddamned question.” Russ leaned against the door, his gaze riveted on Eddie. “Are you still in love with Gray?” Russ swallowed. “Why do you want to know?” “You have to tell me. Tell me you hate him for what he’s done to you, tell me you want revenge.” “I…” Sometimes he did hate him. He hated him straight through to his soul. Revenge? Yes. He’d dreamt of the day he would wipe him off the charts with one of his own songs. Eddie stood up, nodded. “That’s all I needed to know.” “What do you mean? I didn’t even answer your stupid question.” “Yes. You did.” He smiled. “I want you to wait for me.” “Wait where? For what?” “Here. Wait here. I’ll be back this afternoon with a contract for you to sign. Know that once you sign it, I will be your agent and your manager. I will have complete control over every move you make in the band. You will owe me. And I will collect when the time is right.” “What band?” Russ laughed. “I don’t have any band.” “You will,” he said, walking to the door. He turned the handle and opened it. “You will play with Survival.” Russ’s eyes widened. The door stood open. Eddie smiled into his face. “How did you do that?” “It’s magic, baby. It’s magic.” “What do you mean by ‘I’ll be playing with Survival’?”

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“I’ll get your clothes.” Russ followed him down a wide staircase, his gaze surveying the luxury surrounding him. “Wow.” He whistled. “You must be into something lucrative.” Eddie disappeared for a moment. Russ stood at the bottom of the stairs. A white leather sofa and chairs, wall-to-wall carpeting, and a wide-screen television with some pretty high tech equipment occupied the room. Everything was gold and crystal. “Shit,” he breathed. Eddie reappeared with his clothes. “There you go, your highness.” “So, what is it you do exactly?” Russ asked, happy to have his clothes back. He began to step into his jeans. “I’m a talent scout. I find beautiful men to play sexy roles.” “Porn?” “Sometimes. Make yourself at home,” he said, dangling his car keys in his hand. “I should be back in a few hours.” Russ put on his shirt. “I’m sorry. I’m not staying.” Eddie looked at him. “I’m afraid you are staying, my friend. Here’s the deal. If I come back without a contract for you to sign, you walk. No questions asked. Okay?” “What contract? I don’t understand. You just can’t get me a spot in Survival and I don’t know if I even want to --” “It was your band. And I promise you, it will be again. You’ll have creative control, as long as you clear it with me. You’ll shoot that band to superstardom and make Gray suffer for his sins. Not to mention Johnny. I can’t wait to see Johnny’s face when you walk back into that band.” Johnny. Johnny was to blame for all of this. “He set you up that night.” Russ narrowed his eyes. “I don’t understand how you know any of this. You weren’t there, were you?” “No. I wasn’t invited.” “Then…” Russ sighed. “Listen, this entire conversation is way out there. It doesn’t make sense. You can’t --” Eddie reached up and kissed him quickly on the cheek. “Yes, I can. Just wait for me. In a few hours, your entire life is going to change. Have some more coffee.” He grinned and walked out the front door. Russ stood there for a second. He wasn’t sure what the hell to make of this Eddie guy. He was one strange dude. He walked over to the sofa and sat down. He’d wait until he got back because he was far too intrigued to go anywhere. Of course, in all common sense, he knew this guy wasn’t coming back with any contract. Russ closed his eyes. Suddenly music streamed through the room. It was Gray singing.

Survivor

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I think of us together in our younger years and I taste the bitter tears. Love endures, it burns…and I can still taste you…baby…baby…it’s over…the hurts…the wrongs…our time is gone…gone…whoa…baby… Russ opened his eyes, sat up. A shiver ran through him. He stood up and walked over to the stereo. He turned it off. Eddie must have had the stereo on a timer or something. He walked out into the kitchen and looked for the coffeepot. He almost dropped it on the floor when the stereo came back on.

Deception. You are my deception. I found you with him and my heart shattered. Deception. Russ swore. He went back out into the living room and pressed the power off again on the stereo. He searched for the electrical cord and pulled it out of the socket. “There,” he said aloud. “Enough.” He sat back down on the sofa with his coffee and looked around the room. It was then he spotted the painting. He stood up, walked over, and studied it, hardly believing his eyes. It was a painting of him. What in hell was this guy doing with a painting of him hanging on the wall of his living room? He’d never sat for any painting. The more he looked at it, the more there seemed to be something familiar about it. It looked just like the picture in his high school yearbook. It couldn’t be. This guy had had someone paint his yearbook picture? “How weird,” he muttered. Russ glanced at the front door. Maybe he should just get the hell out of this place. He searched the pockets of his jeans. His wallet was there and his car keys, but he had no idea where his car was. He turned the handle on the front door. It wouldn’t budge. Damned door was sealed shut. He went through the kitchen to the back. He couldn’t get out there either. “Fuck,” he said. He picked up the phone in the living room. No dial tone. This wasn’t happening. Over the course of the next hour, he tried every avenue. He even tried to break the window. The place was like a fortress. Then that damned song began to play.

***** “Stop moping around,” Paul told Gray. “You look like the cat’s ass.” “Get off his case,” Rodney said, drumming out a tune on the coffee table with his fork and knife. “Will you stop doing that,” Paul muttered, “you’re driving me nuts.” Ivan walked into the living room at that moment. “No one has let the press in yet?” “Johnny’s downstairs with them now,” Rodney offered. “Well, at least we’re doing it here in the suite.” Paul groaned. “I didn’t feel like going out.”

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“It wouldn’t matter if we were doing it on top of the fucking roof,” Gray said between clenched teeth, getting up off the sofa. “I told him I didn’t want to do this now. He never fucking listens. He just goes ahead and does whatever he wants, whether we like it or not.” “Oh, snap out of it,” Paul said, lying down on the sofa. “He’s only doing what’s best for us.” “Oh shut up, Paul.” Gray glanced at him. “You’re a coward. You should have said something when I did. You’re so damned afraid of him.” “I’m not afraid,” Paul said. “I’m just not argumentative like you. You find fault with everything.” Rodney stopped drumming. “Come on, you guys. It’s no biggie.” Ivan yawned. “Any more coffee?” “Call down for some,” Paul said. “Too late” -- Rodney jumped up from his seat -- “here come the troops.” Gray smiled faintly. Rodney always referred to the press that way, ever since he’d almost been mowed down by a gang of them in Italy. Johnny came rushing in, looking important as always. Five reporters walked in on his heels, cameras flashing. “Okay, okay, one question at a time. And stop with the pictures. You can take all you like later. You” -- Johnny pointed to one of the men -- “ask your question.”

Johnny would pick him, Gray thought. He was young and handsome. Gray always suspected that Johnny had a taste for younger men, although he’d be the last one to admit it. “Thank you,” the reporter said. “My question is for you, Gray.” He smiled at him. All five of them were sitting now. Gray leaned forward. “Yes?” “How does it feel to be back at home for the first time?” “It feels…” He wanted to say strange, but that wasn’t a good idea. He wanted to say lonely, but then Paul would interrogate him about that. “It feels great!” “And what about the original member of the band, Russ Thompson, is he going to get up and play with the band tonight?” “That’s two questions,” Johnny interjected. “Next!” Gray sat there in shock. Rodney glanced over at him. Another reporter was asking a question about their tour. Paul answered, providing a rundown of the places they’d been and what he liked best, then fell silent. Johnny ran a hand through his brown hair and gave the next one a turn. He found excuses to cut the questions short, then insisted they take pictures. Ten minutes later he was pressuring them towards the door. “No more questions now. You can see them later after the concert. Good-bye, and thank you very much.” The doors closed behind him. Johnny turned around. “Where in hell did that question about Thompson come from?”

Survivor

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No one spoke. Gray got up and walked out of the room.

***** When the door opened and Eddie walked in, Russ jumped out of his seat. He was furious. “How dare you keep me prisoner here! And what in hell is wrong with your stereo?” Eddie held out an envelope to him. Russ gave him a blank look. “What’s that?” “Your contract with Survival.” Russ’s mouth fell open. “You just have to read it over and sign it. Here, take it. We’ll fax it back.” Russ stared at the envelope as he took it between his fingers. He looked at Eddie. “You can’t be --” “Dead serious, baby. Take a look.” Russ opened the envelope with trembling fingers. He took it over to the kitchen table and plunked down in a chair. He felt far too shaky to stand. He took the pages out and studied them for a moment. The contract offered him a five-year deal with Flash Records. He shook his head, reading the details. He would join the band Survival, play guitar, sing, and contribute to the songwriting efforts. In bold it was written that he, Russ Thompson, had exclusive control over any final product. This had to be some kind of a trick. Russ glanced up at Eddie, who stood a few feet away watching him silently. “How can this be?” He flipped the contract to the last page. There were the names of all five members of the group, along with Johnny Crouger, the band manager. “They need to sign it. None of them will ever agree to this, especially Gray and Johnny.” “Don’t worry about that.” He waved his hand. “They’ll sign, and you should have seen Gray’s face today when he was asked if you were going to get up on stage with him tonight.” “You were there with Gray? Who asked him that?” Russ stood up. He let the contract fall back to the table. He stared at Eddie for a moment. “Who are you exactly?” “I’m your saviour,” he said softly. “Everything you’ve ever dreamt about will be yours. I have the power to give it all to you.” “What power?” “That doesn’t concern you. This power wasn’t free. Don’t worry. It will be paid for. And the moment I saw your face again, I knew that the price was not too high. Sign it. I’ll send it back to Joshua Taylor. He’s waiting for it.” “Josh Taylor of Flash Music?” “Yes. He’s a good friend of mine. He remembered you.” Eddie handed him a pen. “Sign in all the places you need to and let’s get this off. Josh will be on his way here soon from New

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York. He’s flying in specially. The members of the band will be expected to sign it tonight before the show.” “Why would they?” Russ shook his head. “Why? Because they won’t have a choice.”

Survivor

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Chapter Two The dressing room door opened. Gray glanced up from where he sat in front of the mirror. “Josh is here,” Johnny announced, looking frazzled. “I wonder what this is all about?” “Why don’t you ask him?” Gray gave Johnny a tight smile. Johnny didn’t like it when Josh showed up. He couldn’t play the boss. “Are you still pissed at me for this afternoon? I didn’t know that stupid reporter was going to ask that question about Russ. They’re supposed to clear all questions with me first.” “Drop it.” Paul had been sitting silently in a chair parked in the corner. He sprang to his feet suddenly. “Gray’s a little sensitive about Thompson,” he announced with a twist of a smile on his face. “Fuck off.” Gray moved his gaze in his direction, then away. Paul shrugged and sauntered off. “See?” Gray glared at Johnny. “You know even mentioning his name sets Paul off, so why do you do it?” “I didn’t think. Anyway, next time I’ll do what you ask, okay? Don’t say anything to Josh about it.” “Why would I?” The dressing room door opened again. This time Ivan walked in with a good-looking middle-aged man in a blue suit. “Look who I ran into,” he said. Gray stood up and shook his hand. “Hey, Josh. Good to see you. What’s up?” “Gray” -- he smiled and motioned to Paul and Rodney -- “come on over, boys.” Johnny began to babble on about how well received the guys were. “We’re working very hard on this tour. We --”

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“I know that, Johnny. The record sales are pretty good, but we’re not there yet. I came here to tell you that there’s been a new development. I’ve signed on a new band member.” “New member?” Gray echoed. Everyone looked at each other. “Yes,” Josh continued, “someone with fire, talent, good looks. Someone who can give this band just the jump start it needs to --” “But Gray and Paul,” Johnny began. “They --” “I’m not knocking Gray and Paul…or you guys either.” Josh looked at Rodney and Ivan. “You’re all a great bunch of musicians. If you weren’t, I wouldn’t be wasting my time, but this band needs another guitarist.” Paul began to protest. Gray took Josh by the elbow and steered him off to the side. “I have no problem with taking on another guitarist. In fact, I tend to agree with you, but what if the chemistry isn’t right? You signed on someone new without even giving us a chance to try him out first?” “I’d never do that,” Josh said, meeting his gaze. “Gray, you’ve already worked with him.” “Oh?” Josh pulled a contract out of his coat pocket. “I need you all to sign this.” He clicked his pen. “Can I at least read it?” Gray asked. “Go ahead. And there’s something else you should know.” “What?” “I’ve given him final say on all creative endeavours prior to it being rubber-stamped by Flash.” Gray looked at Josh, dumbfounded. “Now before you say anything. I know you guys operate as a democracy. There’s no reason that it can’t continue like that. It’s just that if there is a dispute and final word is needed, then --” “Why?” “Because he is the one that will take this band to the top. He is Survival’s natural leader. This is strictly a business decision. You have my guarantee that now, once this contract is signed, Survival will be the biggest band ever.” Gray skimmed the contract. The first name that jumped out at him was Eddie Short. “I know that name.” Gray looked at Josh. “Eddie Short?” “Eddie is his agent and personal assistant.”

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Gray stared for a long time at the name scrawled on the bottom of the contract. The others were all around him, waiting silently. Gray couldn’t breathe. He looked up at Josh. “This can’t be. I can’t --” “Then I’m afraid” -- Josh’s gaze met his -- “your contract with Flash Music will be terminated.” “What is it?” Johnny demanded. He grabbed the contract out of Gray’s hand. He frantically read it while Gray walked over to the other side of the room to compose himself. Paul was trying to read the contract over Johnny’s shoulder while Rodney and Ivan went to stand beside Gray, trying to find out what this was all about. Johnny went into a fit. “You can’t do this; we’ll sue.” “You can sue if you want,” Josh said. “But you’ll lose. Read your contract, Johnny. I have the right to make any changes I feel will benefit Flash Music. The minute I think that Survival is a drain on Flash, I can move to terminate your contract.” “On what grounds?” Paul demanded, pushing past Johnny. “On the grounds that the actions of this band are in contradiction with the profitability of the company, paragraph eight, clause seventeen. Read your contract, Paul.” “You bastard,” Johnny muttered. “I don’t believe this.” Paul shook his head. “Aren’t you going to say anything?” He turned to Gray, who was standing in the corner with Rodney and Ivan. “What do you want me to say?” “Something! Anything!” “Well” -- Rodney shrugged -- “I, for one, think it’s a good idea. No offence, Gray. It’s just that --” “A good idea?” Paul shrieked. “Are you out of your mind?” “Me too,” Ivan said. “I’m with Rodney. We were at our best with Russ.” “We don’t even know if we can work with this motherfucker.” Paul practically spit on the floor. “Yes, we do.” Rodney shot Paul a look. “He was with us long before you came into the picture.” Gray looked at Rodney. “Look,” Ivan said with sigh, holding up his hand, “let’s calm down. As long as I get to play my keyboards, I don’t really give a shit. I’ll sign.” Rodney followed behind him. “Me too.” Paul looked outraged. Johnny was on the phone calling his lawyer. Josh handed Ivan a pen.

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Gray sank down on the sofa. All the noise around him faded into the background. When Ivan and Rodney finished signing, Josh glanced over at him. Gray stood up. “I want you to tell me one thing,” he said. Paul was arguing with Johnny while Johnny tried to talk on the phone. “Sure,” Josh said. “What is it, Gray?” “You’ve always been fair with us, straight up. So I want to know how in the hell this happened? How did Russ manage to…?” “When I offered you a contract three years back, Russ Thompson was part of the deal. I came to the club that night after Johnny hounded me for months to see you play, and what I saw was a band that blew me away. Russ was a huge part of that. He had what it took to be a front man. He was raunchy. You were romantic. It was that combination, plus his phenomenal guitar playing, that grabbed me and wouldn’t let go.” “Why did you sign us without Russ then?” “I know talent, Gray,” he said. “You guys have it. Without Russ, you’re good…good enough to tour with the legends, good enough to sell records and be rock stars, but with Russ Thompson leading this band, you can be the legend. Set aside whatever differences you have with him and go for the gold. I know you want it.” There was nothing left to say. Josh was right. Russ was what they’d been missing all along. It was the big hole in the band and the big hole inside of him. Forgive him, forgive that night when you walked in that room and… Johnny slammed down the phone, jarring him back to the present. Paul threw up his hands in frustration. “So?” “We don’t have a leg to stand on,” Johnny muttered. “I don’t want that freak back in this band.” “We don’t need him,” Paul growled. “Yes,” Gray said, “we do. We do need him.” Gray took the contract out of Josh’s hands. “You’re not planning on signing that, are you?” Paul croaked. “Yeah. And so are you.” “Fuck you. I’m not.” “Then Josh here is going to terminate your contract,” Gray told him. Paul looked at Josh. Josh nodded his head. Johnny was the last one to sign. He sulked for at least twenty minutes, while Josh waited impatiently. “I got to go. Either sign the fucking contract or I’ll look for a new road manager. You choose.” Johnny signed.

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“Good.” Josh folded up the contract and put it into his jacket. “Russ will be with you in the studio next week when you’re back in Los Angeles. Break a leg tonight.” He lifted a hand and was gone. Gray sat down again in front of the mirror. Well, Russ, looks like we’ll be seeing each other again real soon. Someone shouted for wardrobe and Gray closed his eyes.

***** Russ stared at the scribbled signatures. The contract had arrived by special courier early Monday morning. He couldn’t believe they’d all signed it, especially Gray and Johnny. The letter accompanying it requested that he be in Los Angeles first thing next week. He had a lot to do. He had to give up his lease, quit his job at the music store, and tell the musicians he played the club circuit with he was leaving. By the end of the day he was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. He passed out on the sofa in front of the television around nine o’clock. The sound of the doorbell ringing woke him up. He dragged himself to the door, surprised to see Eddie standing there. “Eddie?” he said. He walked back to the sofa, stifling a yawn. “What’s up?” “I got us a house in LA. We can move in right away. It’s beautiful, in the hills. Someone told me a great old movie star used to --” “Eddie, I can’t afford that yet.” “It’s all taken care of. I rented you a new car too…a silver sports car. All the Hollywood actors drive those and you’re going to need a new --” Russ laughed slightly. “Slow down. Come on, I just signed the contract and --” “You got to live the life, baby. Airline tickets are booked for Friday. A night flight okay with you?” “You already booked?” “Of course. Have you taken care of all the stuff you need to?” “Almost, but I have to pack.” “You won’t need any of this stuff. Just pack your personal effects.” Russ fell silent. “Now” -- Eddie took off his jacket -- “let’s have a drink and then you can begin.” “Begin?” “Yes, begin paying your debt. I’m anxious to get started. You don’t know how long I’ve waited for you.” Russ narrowed his eyes. “I don’t understand.” “Don’t play with me, Russ, of course you do. You signed the contract.” “I signed a contract with Flash.”

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“And with me. We talked about it of course, but it’s always good to get things in writing. You did receive your contract in the mail today?” “Yes.” “Read it.” “I did.” “Apparently you didn’t read all of it.” Eddie walked around the room. He picked up this and that as he went. “You should always read everything you sign carefully.” Russ took the contract out of the envelope again with a sigh. He studied it carefully for a few minutes. Then he saw a page he didn’t remember seeing before. As he read, his stomach began to turn in knots. “I never agreed to this. What in hell is this?” “It’s life, Russ!” Eddie’s eyes suddenly looked very strange. They looked like they were on fire. “You get something you want and you give something in return.” “Jesus Christ,” Russ gasped. He backed up a little, staring at the man in front of him. “What’s wrong with you? Your eyes are --” “Nothing’s wrong with me. In fact, I have everything I ever wanted. I sold my soul to have you, and now you’re mine.” Russ stared down at the page again. “This isn’t a contract. This is servitude!” “All contracts are servitude to some extent,” Eddie remarked. “Fix us a drink, will you?” Eddie’s sudden arrogance was grating. “I’m obligated to satisfy all your sexual desires?” Russ couldn’t believe what he was reading. “You have exclusive sexual rights to my body? What in fuck does that mean?” “Exactly what you think it means. It’s written plainly enough.” “Well, maybe I’m not bright.” Russ sneered. “Explain it to me.” “You’re not permitted to take another lover without my consent. You are to satisfy my every sexual desire, and I’ve had many years to contemplate what those are. And any decisions you make in regards to your career or professional development have to be run by me first. I can compromise.” Russ shook his head in bewilderment. “That is your signature on that page, isn’t it?” “Yes, but…I didn’t know I was signing this. I --” “You didn’t take time to read the contract thoroughly because you were too enamoured with the other stuff, but it was there.” “There is no way Flash Music would have these kinds of things in their contract.” Russ looked at him. “Oh, that part of the contract is just between you and me, and a much higher authority. It has nothing to do with Josh Taylor.”

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“You tricked me. You slipped this page in there when…” Russ waved the page around in the air. “I can’t believe I --” “You have to learn to take responsibility for your actions. That reminds me, did you ever accept responsibility for cheating on Gray?” “What?” “You did cheat on him. I know he would have never of found out if it hadn’t been for that bastard, Johnny. Johnny wanted Gray to walk in on you. He sent that little shit to your bed that night. He knew you’d let him suck your dick. But we both know why he did that. Why didn’t you ever tell Gray his stepfather came on to you?” “Get out!” Russ exploded. He threw the contract up in the air. “Get the hell out of here, out of my sight.” “Too late for that, I’m afraid. I’m not going anywhere. We have a deal.” “We have no deal, to hell with everything. I don’t want --” “You don’t mean that. You’ll find that doing my bidding is a small price to pay for what I’ve given you. Besides, you signed the contract.” “Yeah, well, contracts are made to be broken.” “Not this one.” The way Eddie said that sent a chill up his spine. “That contract will never hold up in court. What can you do about it, sue me?” “Oh baby, I can do far worse than that.” Russ stared at him. There was an unholy fire in his eyes. “What-what are you, exactly?” “I’m hell,” he said softly. “I’m everything you can’t bear the thought of…and if you cross me, I swear to you everything you hold near and dear will be gone. I’ll destroy you, your family, and each and every member of that band you started.” Russ’s jaw slackened. Eddie’s eyes looked quite normal again. He smiled in a most congenial manner. That smile went straight through him. “But it needn’t come to that. All you have to do is honour your contract and all will be as it should be. Now” -- he took a seat on the sofa and patted the space next to him -- “how about you fix us that drink?”

***** “How did he do it? That’s what I’d fucking like to know. How did he wrangle it?” Gray glanced up at Johnny from where he’d spread himself out on the sofa. He’d drunk far more than he normally did after a show. The liquor was beginning to make him feel numb, which was just what he wanted. “I don’t know,” was all he said. It was all he’d been saying. It was the truth. None of it made sense. One didn’t just march into Josh Taylor’s

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office and get themselves amended onto a contract, even if you were as talented and goodlooking as Russ Thompson. “Well, something’s not right here. This doesn’t make any sense.” Johnny shook his head. Johnny had been sputtering on about this stuff for hours. Gray had had it. He was not in a good mood. Their show had been mediocre at best and Gray had wanted it to be especially good for their homecoming. Mostly it was Paul’s fault. He wouldn’t even look at him on stage. The chemistry was off. And now Paul was licking his wounds in the hot tub with those two groupies. Well, he sure as hell wasn’t going to lie awake all night listening to him snore. He’d had several interesting propositions so far and when Johnny came to sit beside him, sounding like a broken record, he decided to go for it. He stood up. “Give it a rest.” “How can you say this? How can you take this so easy? You’ve basically been usurped.” Johnny narrowed his eyes. “Did you have anything to do with this?” Gray stared at him. “Maybe you’re still in love with that asshole and you --” “You think I orchestrated this?” Gray couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “I was the one with the injury, not you!” “You lost your head over that guy and he was no damned good to begin with. I think I showed you that he couldn’t be trusted and now…” Gray turned his face away. Tears stung the back of his eyes and he swallowed them hard. Johnny was still talking. Gray glanced over at one of the guys who’d been bugging him half the night. The guy sprang up from where he sat. Gray motioned to him. “Let’s see what you can do.”

***** Eddie loved the tension in Russ. It was real and it was very sexy. Of course, everything about Russ Thompson was sexy. He felt genuine satisfaction when Russ handed him that drink, but nothing like the satisfaction he was going to feel with Russ in his bed. “I’ve loved you forever,” he said, sipping his drink. “It doesn’t matter much what you feel for me.” “You’re clearly deranged,” Russ said, standing in front of him. Eddie smiled. He wasn’t the first one to tell him that. He patted the sofa again. “Sit down beside me. Look into my eyes and tell me again. It’s a turn-on. Of course everything about you turns me on.” When Russ didn’t move, Eddie felt the anger churn in his gut. “I’m capable of doing you great harm.” This power surging within him often surprised him. He hadn’t even begun to test its limits yet. He needed Russ to feel it, to know that every word he said was sincere. “No one ever took me seriously in high school. You hardly even looked at me. All I ever

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wanted was you. You only had eyes for Gray. And it was pretty hard to hate him. He was actually a lot nicer to me than you were. At least he knew my name.” Eddie sighed. “All right. I’ll have to show you.” “Show me? Show me what?” “What I can do.” He stood up. He glanced around the living room. A small fire instantly started in the corner. “Holy shit,” Russ shouted, racing into the kitchen. He came back with a bunch of towels, prepared to smother the blaze. Eddie put the fire out with his thoughts. Russ had that look on his handsome face again, the one that screamed “What the fuck is happening here?” Eddie actually had a moment of sympathy for him. After all, Russ never asked for this. It wasn’t his fault he was drop-dead gorgeous, that of all the men Eddie could have had it was only Russ he wanted. It had always been Russ from the moment he’d laid eyes on him. He’d been so cute in high school, taller than the other boys, his voice already deep at fifteen. All those muscles became more defined each year, not to mention the one between his legs. Great ass, great cock, a voice that sounded like an angel singing, and a beautiful face. Now, it was his. All his. And the pleasure of watching Gray eat his heart out was one he was greatly anticipating. Eddie reached out for Russ. He held his forearm. Russ didn’t move. He couldn’t. “I’ll take you by force if you want. I have no problem with that. I’d prefer it if it was voluntary, of course. I have specific…ah…requests. You still have feelings for Gray, don’t you?” “I…” Russ tried again to pull away. “How are you doing that?” “When I was a boy, suffering in my own flesh, lusting for you, knowing that I didn’t stand a chance in hell of ever tasting those sweet lips of yours, I prayed. My mother was a very religious woman. She went to church three times a day. Maybe it helped her, but it did nothing for me. Every day I’d go to school, certain that all my prayers the night before had been so intense, surely this time, you’d… I would have been happy with a smile, but I had to settle for catching a glimpse of you naked in the boys’ locker room. One can only thrive on that so long, Russ. I had to turn to other sources.” “Other sources? You mean the…” He laughed. “Eddie, he doesn’t exist.” Eddie released his arm. “Try to move.” Eddie watched Russ struggle. He was stuck to the spot. “It’s some sort of magic.” “Yes. It is magic, but from a very special source. And it’s mine. I’ve paid and I’ll pay even more before I’m done, but it’s better than spending my life in misery without you. I want to give you everything. I will give you everything, but there is a price to be paid. Nothing in this world is free.” He released him. Russ moved his legs and arms around a little.

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“There is nothing for me to live for without you. So if you refuse to honour our agreement, I will burn this place to the ground right now. I’ll take you with me. There is no way in hell I’d leave you for him.” “Him?” “Why, Gray, of course. Who do you think I mean? Now, take off your clothes. Do it slowly because I want to savour every inch of your naked flesh. Go on, Russ, and make it good because I think you know now that I can take it all away at any moment.” Russ slowly undid the buttons on his shirt. Everything seemed surreal. Here he was stripping for a guy who’d commandeered control over his entire life in less than twenty-four hours…a guy he had barely known existed. He’d be a fool to not take him seriously. He’d seen it with his own eyes, something that couldn’t be denied. Eddie had managed to do the impossible, get him a major contract with Flash Music in a matter of hours without him even showing his face. He had imprisoned him in his house, set his living room on fire with a glance, literally frozen him to the spot so that he felt completely paralyzed. Either this was a very bad dream or Eddie Short wasn’t quite human. “Slow,” Eddie breathed, sinking back onto the sofa, his eyes filled with a desire that seemed almost feral. Russ pulled off his shirt. It was tough, so damned tough. He felt nothing for Eddie, except maybe trepidation and fear, and here he was getting naked in front of him. “Um,” Eddie murmured. “You have a great chest, Russ. Move your arms forward a little. God, what a hunk you are. Turn around for me.” Russ sighed faintly and turned. “Now, unzip your jeans. Are you wearing underwear?” “No,” he muttered. “Perfect. Now, undo the snap at the top of your pants and slowly move the zipper down. I want to hear each little metal piece open.” Russ did as he asked. “Oh God, I’m so hard. Okay, now my beautiful big boy, push the jeans over your hips and let them fall to your feet.” Russ swallowed as he pushed down the jeans. He felt ridiculous. “Don’t turn around. Perfect ass. Absolutely sensational. And I’ve seen a lot of great asses, fucked a lot of great asses. I think I went a little crazy at first with the power. You know…when you can have anyone you want --” “This power…how did you get it?” “I simply asked the right questions and offered the right price. Everything is for sale, my darling.”

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Russ heard him get up, heard the sound of his zipper going down. He trembled as Eddie moved up next to him. “I’m not beautiful, but this power gives me a certain…let’s say, I can take you places you’ve never been -- places even your precious Gray never took you. Even if you never develop an addiction for me” -- his hand moved over the curve of his ass cheek -- “you will develop an addiction to the sex. It’s…let’s say” -- he moved his hands over his shoulders and down his back, then took his ass cheeks in his hands -- “out of this world.” Russ felt lips on his shoulder. A hard cock pressed against his hip. One hand moved over his hair. Suddenly his head was yanked back hard. His eyes widened as he looked into Eddie’s eyes. He saw that fire, that unnatural light again. He could feel the hot breath on his throat. “You’re going to do exactly as I tell you.” Eddie’s other hand snaked around and grabbed Russ’s cock and squeezed hard. “I can be mean if things don’t go my way.” Russ winced. Eddie let go of his hair, eased the pressure on his shaft, and began to stroke it fast. He pulled Russ back into his arms and held him closer. Fingers reached for Russ’s left nipple. Eddie pinched it between his fingers for a few minutes. Eddie’s fingers deserted Russ’s nipple and settled on his throat. Russ gasped as he felt the air flow being cut off. The sensations that moved through him set his entire body on fire. Perspiration ran down his face and dripped onto his chest. He couldn’t breathe. A hard cock stabbed up inside of him; Eddie moved his hand off of his throat and down to his nipple again. Russ took a grateful gulp of air. Eddie toyed with his nipple for a moment and then placed both hands on Russ’s hips. Russ hit the wall, arms folded over his head, his face lying against the cool painted surface. Eddie held his hips still while he fucked his ass hard and fast. Russ cried out as his cock pumped. He closed his eyes, his entire body vibrating with the aftermath of orgasm. He was trying to catch his breath as Eddie withdrew. Eddie’s hand reached out and turned him around, held him there against the wall. Eddie raked over Russ’s body with his gaze. It felt like hot coals. He saw Eddie lick his lips. He grabbed Russ’s arms, pushed them up over his head, and lowered his lips to his chest. He kissed his chest for a few minutes, then raised his head. Russ turned his face. “Please don’t kiss me on the mouth,” he said softly. Eddie shrugged. “Fine. There are many more places I intend on kissing you. Is that a personal hang-up of yours? You don’t kiss on the mouth?” “Yes, it’s my hang-up,” he told him. He used to love to kiss Gray’s mouth. He could kiss him for hours at a time. Sometimes he would do just that. Eddie leaned against the wall. “Get down on your knees.” Russ was about to protest but he knew by the look in his eyes, protest was out of the question. He sank to his knees in front of Eddie.

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“Now, show me how much you appreciate all the sacrifice I’ve done for you,” he whispered. “And then later” -- he glanced towards the bedroom -- “you can show me again.”

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Chapter Three “So, you’re not talking to me or what?” Paul asked him, plopping down in a lawn chair beside the pool. Gray glanced over at him from behind his sunglasses. “Is there a reason I shouldn’t be talking to you?” “I don’t know.” He sighed. “You disappeared with that degenerate after the show. You ignored me on the plane.” “He wasn’t a degenerate. Actually, he was pretty cool and he gave good head.” Gray settled back down in the chair and closed his eyes. “Do you want me to leave?” “Why should you leave?” “You really don’t seem to give a shit one way or another.” The five of them had rented this house together when they first came out to live in Los Angeles. “There is plenty of room for all of us here. What’s the problem?” “Is he going to live here too?” “If who you mean by ‘he’ is Russ, then I doubt it.” “Well, if he moves in, I move out.” “Stop being a goddamned drama queen. Are you really that threatened by him?” Gray sat up and took off his glasses. “I’m not threatened.” “Well then, shut up about him. He’s all I hear about, if it’s not from you, it’s from Johnny. Things are the way they are. If you want out of your contract, then get out. Otherwise, accept it and make it work for you.” “And you’re all right with this?”

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“No, Jesus Christ, I’m not all right with this! I’m the one who was left with his heart in shreds, not you. I’m the one who’s going to have to face this guy after all this time with my --” “With what? You still love him, don’t you?” Gray got up out of his chair. “What do you care? Let’s not pretend that you do. It’s your ego talking, Paul, that’s all. You’d hate to think that I’d rather be in Russ’s bed than in yours.” “Would you? Would you rather be in his bed?” Paul’s face was a mask of rage. “Yeah, because at least when he was making love to me, he wasn’t staring at himself in the mirror overhead or making me calculate the intensity of every fucking orgasm. I knew he loved me. I never doubted it until that night. Does that answer your question?” Paul turned his face away. Gray walked back inside the house.

***** “What do you think?” Eddie asked, turning around and around in the great hall with the black and white marble floor. Russ followed the carved bronze banister with his gaze. It led to the second floor where luscious oil paintings adorned the corridors. Over his head in the entrance, a huge crystal chandelier gleamed, casting a shadow on the pale mauve carved ceiling. “Angels.” Eddie laughed, pointing at the design overhead. “Isn’t it ironic? It’s what made me choose this place.” Russ looked at him. He had a bizarre sense of humour. He was bizarre. Eddie walked over now and hugged him. He kissed him hard and slapped his butt. “Wait until you see the houseboys.” “Houseboys?” “Yeah. We can’t take care of this place alone. Someone needs to cook and clean. Anyway, these little darlings will do more than that. You know I have a need to see you with other men, Russ. We discussed that.” “What about the exclusivity clause?” Russ mocked. “It can be broken if I say so, and in my presence of course. We have an indoor pool and an exercise room. You have to stay fit.” “Right.” “Come, we’ll tour the house. Oh, and wait until you see our bedroom. It’s a virtual BDSM dungeon, an erotic playground, a --” Russ put up a hand. “I get the picture.” “You’re going to get far more than just the picture.” Eddie grunted. “Now smile, I’m going to introduce you to the hired help.”

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Russ followed Eddie through the house. He had passed the past few days in a state of suspended belief. None of this seemed real. It was now clear that Eddie literally owned him. More than that, Eddie had taken him to these extreme heights of sexual awakening last night that hardly seemed possible. This man was dangerous. He could destroy him and everyone he loved. He was riddled with fear, but there was something else, something that made him ache deep inside. It scared him more than the harm he knew Eddie could do. Gray. “Carl, Timmy, where are you boys?” Eddie called out suddenly. Russ found himself in a huge kitchen. He felt as if he was surrounded by mirrors. Everything was stainless steel. “They must be outside. We have a pool outdoors as well. Carl and Tim are only to use the outdoor one unless they are invited. The indoor one is exclusively for us,” Eddie explained. “Come outside. The view is stupendous.” Outside, Russ breathed in the air. The sun was shining and all around him were beautiful hills. Two young men came walking over from the pool. Russ caught his breath. One of them was fair-haired and he looked so much like Gray, he could have been his twin. The other had brown hair. They both wore skimpy trunks, tight, that advertised their erections. He was kissed, admired, fawned over, then Eddie told them both to go into the house and fix some dinner. Russ couldn’t stop staring at the one called Tim. He kept his gaze on him until he disappeared into the house. “Is he to your taste?” Eddie cooed. They both knew to which one he was referring. “He’s ah…all right.” Eddie smiled. Russ was getting angry. “Is this a joke…some kind of a game you’re playing now?” “I don’t understand.” “Oh, yes, you do. We both know who he looks like. How did you manage that?” “I can manage anything. Do you want him tonight?” “What?” “Now you’re playing with me. Tonight, I want to see you together. I want to see you fuck him. You can relive old times in your mind.” “I --” “Don’t worry about it now. Why don’t we go up to our room, relax. You can unpack since you insisted on bringing some of those old clothes of yours. We have time to shop.” Russ was going to say something, but Eddie grabbed his arm and pulled him inside. “We’ll talk about it later.”

*****

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Dinner was served a few hours later. Carl cooked and Tim served. Tim looked at Russ often and it was fairly easy to read what was written in that smile. “From now on,” Eddie announced suddenly, “you will be called Gray, Tim.” “You can call me whatever you want, Master,” he replied, heading back to the kitchen. “Okay, now you’ve gone too fucking far.” Russ slammed his fist on the table. Eddie reached over and touched his hand. “It’s all in fun, part of the fantasy. When I was back in school, I used to imagine what you and Gray would do together in bed. I saw you sneak a kiss once. You thought you were alone in the locker room. You leaned over and kissed him and Gray put his hand down the front of your gym shorts. It only lasted a few minutes, but I was so turned on. For me, call him Gray, just for tonight.” What choice did he have? He put down his fork. He’d lost his appetite. “If you’re finished, go on upstairs, Russ. Gray and I will be right along in a few minutes.” Russ pushed his chair away from the table and went up to the room he was expected to share with Eddie. It was like a horror show. There were mirrors everywhere; the bed was huge and round. Tacky bear skins served as blankets and rugs. All kinds of contraptions protruded from the walls overhead; handcuffs and sex toys littered the room. It seemed there would be no end to Eddie’s sick imagination, and he had a feeling that calling Tim “Gray” was only the beginning of this weirdness. Russ crawled onto the bed and closed his eyes wearily. He’d thought a lot about Gray since all this began. He thought about how it was going to feel to see him again, not to mention that fuck Johnny. Russ had often wondered what Gray would have done if he’d told him what had really happened that night of the party. He’d been tempted, but he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t hurt Gray like that. Johnny was all Gray had left after his mother died, his only family. Gray would have considered what Johnny did to be a betrayal. Johnny had known how much they loved each other and still…it hadn’t stopped him that night from doing what he did. Russ had always felt a little uneasy around Johnny whenever Gray wasn’t around. There was something about the way Johnny looked at him, although he never gave it a lot of thought. He would have never imagined in a million years Johnny would actually come on to him, but he had. And yes, it didn’t excuse what he’d done, but he’d been young and that guy had come on hot and heavy. Russ knew Johnny had set him up. Johnny was angry, his ego hurt, and he wanted Russ to pay, and pay he did. When Russ raised his head suddenly, he saw two figures standing in the room. “Russ baby, Gray is here,” Eddie said softly, and for a second, he almost believed it. “Russ, I forgive you.” Russ sat up. He looked at Eddie in disbelief. “Don’t, Eddie,” he pleaded. “Don’t do this.”

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Eddie came closer. He began to undo Russ’s shirt. Another set of hands undid his pants. When he was naked, Eddie urged, “Lift your arms, baby.” “Why? What…?” he began. He felt a hand reach down and gently lift up his left arm. Eddie took care of his right. He looked up to the ceiling and saw his wrists being handcuffed to the headboard. His cock was already hard. A blond head bent over his groin and a tongue licked across his balls and up the underside of his shaft. “It’s Gray, Eddie. He’s forgiven you. Remember how much in love you were, remember --” “Stop this, Eddie,” Russ demanded, struggling against the restraints now. “Struggle, baby, struggle,” Eddie said. “It’s so sexy. You’re so sexy…the way your chest is heaving right now, the sweet agony on your beautiful face. Gray is so turned on.” “Fuck,” Russ growled as his cock was covered by the lining of a soft mouth, lips, and tongue totally engaged in their task. He squeezed his eyes shut. Those summer nights he’d spent with Gray in his arms, touching him, kissing his mouth, exploring every inch of his body -- he’d thought it would never end. They would love each other forever. “Gray,” he called out; his cock pulsed, exploded. He struggled to catch his breath. He opened his eyes when he heard a soft laugh. Eddie’s face was in the mirror, fiery eyes glowing down at him. A wide smile spread across his face as Tim nibbled at his nipples. He looked down at him. “Bust-ed,” he mouthed.

***** Gray quietly sipped his coffee. It tasted raunchy. No one spoke, but that was a good thing. He didn’t feel like talking. He’d arrived early at the studio this morning, hadn’t bothered waiting around for the others. He didn’t sleep at all last night; images had churned in his head all night. He looked up now at the clock on the wall. It was one of those huge industrial jobs with a loud ticking mechanism. That ticking sound seemed to vibrate in his gut and claw at his insides. Each vibration brought Russ one second closer to him. When he couldn’t stand it anymore, Gray threw the vending machine coffee in the garbage can and walked out the back. He was dismayed to see the security guard smoking out there. He ached to be alone. “I thought you’d quit,” Gray offered, more for something to say. The guard lifted his shoulders and smiled. “It’s hard to give up an addiction that strong.” “Yeah, I know.” “Were you a smoker?” “No” -- he shook his head -- “but we all have our drug.” Gray knew what his had been. And in a few minutes, he’d find out if the craving was still there. A few minutes later, Rodney came outside too. “There you are.”

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“Yeah. Here I am.” “Russ is here.” Gray sighed. “Guess I should go in. Where’s Johnny?” “Conspicuously absent.” “Just as well. And is Paul behaving himself or is he conspicuously absent as well?” “As much as Paul can behave, but Ivan is chatting up Russ a blue streak and I have to admit, I’ve missed Russ. I’m worried about you, though.” “Oh hell, don’t worry about me, buddy” -- Gray placed a hand on his shoulder and headed for the door -- “we didn’t name the band Survival for nothing.” It was great to see Ivan and Rodney again and they seemed just as happy to see him. That Paul guy, however, was another story. Russ didn’t care for him on sight and he knew that the feeling was mutual. It was understandable, of course. Paul was sleeping with Gray; at least, that’s what he’d heard. This morning, he’d managed to convince Eddie to hang back a little, give him some space. He wanted to see the guys on his own the first time. When the door opened, Russ looked up expectantly. He knew instinctively who it would be. There was Gray. His hair was a little longer and he was a bit thinner maybe, but other than that, he was his Gray…except he wasn’t his. “Russ” -- Gray strode across the room and held out his hand -- “good to see you.” So that was the way it was to be, no hug, just a cool handshake. Russ took his hand. It was very warm. He held it a little too long. “Gray. I…it’s been a long time.” The emotion stirring inside of him was almost overwhelming. He let go of his hand, turned away for a second, and pretended to study the room. He quickly regained control, then turned back to smile at him. “Nice studio. Looks like a great place to work. Acoustics are good.” Paul walked over now. He placed a possessive arm around Gray’s shoulders. Russ got the message loud and clear. “We like it. It suits us, so don’t think about --” “Paul.” Gray interrupted him and moved away from him. “Cool it.” “I know it’s a bit of…it must have been a surprise when --” Russ began. “We’ll talk about that later,” Gray said, giving him an intense look. “I guess we should show you what we’ve been working on and --” “I want you to go on the way you have been. Give me a few days to see where you’re at. If I can contribute anything, I…we’ll take it slow.” “Have you been writing?” Rodney asked him. “Some.” Russ smiled. He was grateful to Rodney for his question. “I remember that song you and Gray were writing; you guys never did finish that. Maybe…”

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“Yeah,” Ivan said, coming down from behind his keyboard, “had a great beat.” He started humming it. Russ looked at Gray. Gray looked away. “We’ll have to negotiate the guitar parts,” Paul said. “I often play lead and I have no intention of --” “That’s no problem. I can play whatever,” Russ said. “Russ is the finest guitar player I’ve ever known,” Ivan offered. “Rhythm, bass, lead, acoustic…man, he can play anything you got.” He slapped Russ on the back. “I’m sure he’s all right, but --” Paul muttered. “Don’t sulk, Paul,” Rodney said. “Ivan was just paying Russ a compliment. It doesn’t mean you’re not a good guitarist. No one said that.” “Let’s get to work,” Gray suggested. “Maybe we can just warm up a bit,” Russ added. The tension was thick in the room. Russ moved his shoulders around, feeling tense himself. “I’m all for that,” Ivan chimed, going back to his keyboards. The morning would have gone quite well if Paul hadn’t tried to make everything difficult. He argued with Russ over their territory on stage, which was irrelevant given they were not performing live. He sputtered off about what part they would play on the guitar for each and every song they ran through. Just before noon, Johnny came in with Eddie, which threw Russ off completely. When he saw them walk in together, he hit the wrong chord and broke his guitar string. “What the fuck was that?” Paul demanded, jumping on the opportunity to sound off. “I’m sorry,” Russ said. “I need to --” “Sorry? You’re supposed to be a professional -- the great saviour of this band. You’re supposed to make us all rich. You’re a joke!” “Look, you…” Russ put down his guitar and walked over to him. He’d been trying hard to not let Paul get to him all morning. “You’re an arrogant son of --” Gray suddenly stepped between them. “Okay, that’s enough. Let’s take a break,” he suggested, pushing Paul backwards. “It’s time for lunch anyway.” Paul showed Russ his back. “Johnny, did you order something in?” Ivan asked. “Yeah, from that Italian joint you like. It should be here soon, kid,” he said. “Before anyone goes anywhere, I would like to introduce you to Eddie Short. Eddie, these are the guys.” Russ watched Eddie walk over to Gray. He smiled at him. “Well, well,” he said, “you haven’t changed. Do you remember me?”

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“Eddie…? Now I know where I…yes,” he said, snapping his fingers, “from high school.” “That’s right.” “Eddie,” Johnny said, “this is Ivan, Rodney is over there, and that’s Paul.” Eddie nodded at each of them, raising a hand in greeting. “Yes. Hi. I’m a big fan.” Russ watched the scene quietly from the corner where he was changing his guitar string. He felt his stomach turn in knots. “So Eddie,” Gray said, “how did you meet up with Russ after all this time? If I recall, you weren’t exactly close in high school.” “Let’s call it…a fatal attraction.” He smiled. Russ looked up in surprise. He didn’t expect that Eddie would make their arrangement public. “Fatal…?” Gray laughed slightly. “Oh really? I didn’t realise. Well, congratulations.” “That’s wonderful,” Paul declared suddenly. “You make a great couple.” “No, no,” Russ said with a laugh, “it’s nothing like that.” “Now, now, Russ” -- Eddie walked over and took his arm -- “stop being so shy. These guys don’t mind. After all, you and Gray were an item back in high school, if I recall. Weren’t you?” Russ sucked in some breath. “I’m going to eat,” Gray said and quickly left the room. “Did I say something wrong?” Eddie looked around. “Gray’s a little sensitive. Some things are best left in the past,” Johnny piped up. He was talking to Eddie, but he was looking at Russ. “So, how have you been, Russell?” “Fine,” Russ said stiffly. “I’m a little hungry myself. Excuse me.” Russ walked down the hallway and quickly found the room where food had been set up. He walked in and saw Gray sitting by himself in the corner, a cup of coffee in his hand, a piece of pizza on a paper plate sitting on the table in front of him. Russ took a breath and then walked over and sat down opposite him. “You okay?” “Why shouldn’t I be?” he asked, looking up at him. “I’m sorry Eddie had to --” “You can’t be responsible for what your boyfriend says.” “He’s not my…” Russ sighed. “He’s a friend, okay.” “It’s none of my business.” He swallowed some coffee. “But you know what is my business, how in the fuck did you manage this, Russ? I’ve tried to make sense of it and you know what? I can’t. So, explain it to me.”

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“Eddie is in the business and…” He paused. “Look, Eddie approached me and said he could get me back into the band. The company went for it.” “Eddie seems to be extremely talented, a far cry from that chubby little geek in high school. And you, you just decided to waltz back into this band after three fucking years! You didn’t think of asking me if I wanted that?” “Ask you?” Russ grunted. “Is that what this is all about? You think because I didn’t pick up the phone after three fucking years and say, ‘Hey Gray, how you doing…and by the way, would you mind if I came back into the band,’ the band I started…my Goddamned band…after you and stepdaddy effectively locked me out?” “We both know why that was, don’t we?” Gray accused. He met his gaze. “If I couldn’t trust you with my heart, then how did you expect me to --” “Oh, give it a Goddamned rest,” Russ snapped. “I tried to talk to you about what happened. I tried to explain, but you wouldn’t even take my phone calls.” “I had nothing to say to you. I saw it with my two eyes. You made your choice.” “Yes” -- Russ glanced at Paul, who’d just walked into the room -- “and you’ve made yours.” He stood up. Gray glanced down at his uneaten food. “If you’ll excuse me,” Russ said, “I think I need some air.” Gray jumped when he heard a voice speaking to him. He looked up into Eddie’s face. He’d changed a lot since high school, no longer overweight, but still far from handsome. Eddie took a seat with his pizza. He didn’t ask if he minded. “So” -- Eddie gave him a banal smile -- “you and Russ getting along okay?” Gray took a bite of his pizza only so he wouldn’t have to answer right away. It tasted like sawdust in his mouth. “Fine,” he managed. “Good, because like it or not, you are going to have to make the best of it.” “So I’ve been told.” “Surely, you’re over him by now,” Eddie said, seeking out his gaze. “You have nothing to worry about,” Gray told him, pushing his plate away. “Oh, I’m not worried at all. Russ belongs to me now. Pine away,” he said softly. Gray narrowed his eyes. He watched Eddie as he stood up, shovelling the last bite of pizza into his mouth. “Um. Very good,” he said. “It tastes almost as good as Russ does…but not quite. What do you think, Gray, or don’t you remember how he tasted?” Gray opened his mouth, but no words formed. Eddie smiled at him. “Oh, by the way, Russ and I are having a party at our home Saturday night. All of you guys are invited. Josh will be there and he expects you to attend. Bring your jammies.” He winked at him and walked over to Johnny.

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***** “Can we try that old song?” Rodney asked as they began to adjust the equipment. “What old song?” Russ asked. “The one you and Gray were writing a few years back?” “It was never finished,” Gray said. “Why didn’t you end it?” Ivan inquired. “We didn’t know how,” Russ said quietly. “Maybe the timing was --” “It was a damned good song,” Ivan said. “Let’s hear it.” Paul’s voice boomed into the room, an octave too high. “I’m getting tired of this fucking story. Let’s hear what you had; if it’s that good, maybe it will --” “I don’t remember the words.” Gray adjusted his microphone. “I do,” Russ said. “I can bring in the sheet music tomorrow.” “The words were,” Ivan began, “if my life ended tomorrow, I would want to be with you in your arms, in your eyes…shit.” He laughed. “What comes next, Russ? What’s the rest of the chorus?” “It’s…if the world ended tomorrow, I would be with you…see my life reflected in your eyes, bury myself in your arms and feel safe when the world tumbled down around me. Touch me and take me there…fly me on your angel wings and make me secure in your love.” There was silence. Russ glanced over at Gray, his throat feeling tight. He remembered the times they had worked on that song together, sometimes lying naked in bed, touching each other. It hurt to view those scenes in his head. Gray shrugged nonchalantly. “That’s it more or less, but no one wants to hear that shit anymore today.” “Gray is right. It’s romantic nonsense,” Paul scoffed. Russ lowered his head. “Right. So, let’s move on.” “Bring in the sheet music, Russ,” Rodney said. “I still think it’s worth looking at.” He looked over at Paul. “And I am a member of this band too.” Paul shot him a look. “Whatever. If you want to waste your time on some old romantic crap, go ahead.”

*****

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Russ was exhausted when he got home. He begged off supper and went up to the bedroom. He was half asleep when Eddie came into the room and sat down beside him. “It was a big day, wasn’t it?” “Um,” Russ said. “Let me sleep, Eddie.” “I invited everyone over for the weekend. Josh is supposed to come.” Russ sat up. “What do you mean by everyone?” “The band…music people. You have to be known.” Russ felt Eddie’s hand move over his thigh, then reach around for his zipper. He groaned inwardly. “I’m not in the mood, Eddie.” “Not in the mood for company this weekend, or to have sex?” Eddie pushed him onto his back. “I’m not in the mood for either.” He looked up into Eddie’s face. “Well, that’s too bad,” Eddie said, opening his jeans. “Then I suggest you get yourself into the mood.” Eddie stood up and started taking off his clothes. “Get the rest of your clothes off. Put your hands over your head and lift your legs in the air.” “Eddie, I…” Eddie stared at him, that unholy fire in his eyes. “Do what I tell you to, Russ, or I swear, you’ll regret it.” Russ sighed. He sat up and pulled his jeans and underwear off. “Tonight, I have a treat for you,” Eddie said softly. “Some acquaintances of mine are stopping by. I’ve told them how beautiful you are.” “Eddie. Are you planning some kind of gang bang because --” “Don’t worry your head, baby,” Eddie said, stroking himself. “No need to get nervous. We’re going to show you supreme pleasure -- pleasure like you’ve never known. I’ve given you only a little taste so far, Russ.” He leaned over and grabbed his calves. He lifted his legs into the air. Russ saw the ankle cuffs tumble down from the ceiling. Eddie snapped on one cuff and then the other. He tugged on them to make sure they were secure. “Hands over your head,” he said softly, his gaze moving over him. “You’re hard already.” Eddie smiled. “You’re often erect, did you know that? You wake up hard.” He moved up to the head of the bed, cuffed his wrists. Suddenly, Russ heard a motor churning. He glanced around frantically. The bed moved to the side. He was hanging suspended in the air. Something suddenly moved against the small of his back, something cool and flat. “Just a little support.” Eddie smiled. “Now, where did I put that…oh, yes” -- he walked across the room to the bureau -- “here it is. I think you need to be lifted a bit higher.” Russ felt himself lifting a few inches into the air. “Eddie, what-what are you…doing?”

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“It’s a cock ring, sweetheart, nothing too severe. I have a butt plug too, nice and oiled…nipple clamps. I just want to make sure you’re ready to receive my guests. I don’t think we’ll need the gag. I love your voice, so deep and sexy.” Russ felt a hand move over his chest and gently slap his cock back and forth. He moaned a little. He was hard as a rock. “You want it really bad, don’t you baby? Patience,” Eddie whispered. “Good things come to those who are patient.” Eddie wrapped a thick leather strap around the base of his cock. “God, you are so beautiful,” he groaned. “Your cock is so hard and this strap is tight. Um. Your nipples,” he said, moving a hand up over his chest and brutally pinching the left one, “yum. I love those man tits of yours, Russ…perfect…so male…so defined…brown and pointed now…nipple clamps will look so…oh God, I can’t wait to fuck you, but I’ll be a good boy.” Russ winced as he felt Eddie clamp the left nipple. The pain seared through his body, causing his cock to pulsate. “Ahhh, Eddie,” he breathed. “Yes, baby,” he said, playing casually with the right nipple. He flicked it hard, pulled on it, leaned down, and took it between his teeth. Russ’s head fell back as he felt the clamp grab that one between its teeth. “So sexy…so erotic. Oh Russ, I love you,” he said. “I love you so much. I’ve oiled this plug for your ass, baby. It’s the thickest one I could find in the store. It will spread you nice and deep.” A hand moved under him and spread his cheeks. Eddie pushed the oiled plug in without fanfare, ignoring the protests of the ring of muscles surrounding the opening. Russ cried out something. The pain was smothered in pleasure…in an aching longing like nothing he’d ever felt before. “I’ll be back,” Eddie said, “with my friends.”

***** “Are you going to sit out here all night brooding?” Paul called out as he walked across the patio. Gray had been watching the moon cast shadows across the water in the swimming pool. “You’ve been out here for hours. Why don’t you come to bed?” “I will.” “Gray” -- Paul leaned down beside him and took his hand -- “I want to talk about our relationship.” “Yeah? Why now?” “I just think we need to reevaluate stuff.” “Like?”

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“Well, instead of having this free, open…what I’m saying is that I’m prepared to be faithful on the road.” “Really?” “Really. You know how I feel about you.” He squeezed his hand. “Could it be that this is a priority now because Russ will be on the road with us?” “This has nothing to do with Russ,” he said, standing up. “And speaking of Russ, ever since you saw him, you’ve been moping around like a-a school boy with his first crush. You can’t have him, Gray. He’s involved with that Eddie guy and --” “That makes no sense,” Gray said. “I didn’t get the impression that Russell had any affection at all for him. There’s something strange about that relationship.” “Because you don’t want it to be true.” “Paul, use your common sense” -- Gray looked at him -- “try to put your petty jealousy aside and really look at them. They don’t fit together. Eddie is enamoured with Russ, but Russ is --” “Still enamoured with you?” “Okay, I can’t talk to you. Rodney and Ivan understand what I’m saying and they…they agreed that Eddie is…well, he’s weird. He was weird in high school too.” “People change.” “You don’t know, Paul. You didn’t go to my school. I’m telling you, they used to call him Short the Dork and Russ didn’t even…I mean, he never gave him a second look.” “Well, apparently he’s giving him one now. Maybe Russ is using the guy. Eddie got him back in this band, didn’t he?” “I’ve thought of that, but it’s not Russ’s style. He’s not a user.” “You didn’t think he was a cheater either until you found him with another guy’s head between his legs.” Gray shot Paul a dirty look. “I’m going to get to the bottom of it. We’re invited to a party at their house this weekend and --” “You’re not going, are you?” “Damn right I am. I don’t understand how this happened, even if I agree that Russ is a great asset to this band. People just don’t get offered contracts like this at the drop of a hat.” “Eddie does this for a living, Gray.” “I don’t give a shit. No one is that good.” Gray stood up. “Come on, let’s go to bed. Got an early session tomorrow, and Paul,” he looked at him, “lay off of Russ. I’m with you now, okay? It’s true, there’s a lot of hurt between Russell and I, but there’s far too much to ever completely heal. The most we can hope for is to become friends. We’ll never be lovers again.” “I’ll try to keep it in check,” Paul said. He put his arm around Gray.

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Gray reached up and kissed his mouth. “Come on, let’s get some sleep.”

***** There was no way he could sleep, although he dozed some off and on. It seemed like he’d been lying here like this forever, suspended in the air, his body in a heightened state of sexual tension. His cock throbbed. His nipples ached. The nerve endings around his anus were totally awake. He listened for the door of the bedroom to open with anxious, fear-laden desire. He’d never felt that mix of emotion before, wanting desperately, needing completely, and yet so afraid. When the door finally did open, his entire body trembled. “Ah,” a voice said, “you haven’t lied to us, Eddie. He is sensational.” “Um,” another male voice, this one light, almost feminine, “have you taken him to where only we can?” “I have given him only a taste.” Two faces looked down at him now. The eyes unnaturally light, Russ felt them touch his flesh with their gazes. It felt like fire. “Tonight,” the one with the deeper voice said softly, “your body belongs to us. We shall use it the way we choose.” The lighter voice added, “When you signed your name, Russell Thompson, you gave us complete rights to your body. You understand?” Russ swallowed hard. “Yes,” he replied. He felt the strap being removed from his cock. He moaned in relief. A hand pulled hard on the chain that connected the clamps on his nipples. He grunted. A face appeared between his legs. Another hand seized hold of his cock and began to masturbate him. Someone toyed with the butt plug. The clamps were removed and a rough tongue lapped at his sensitive nipples. Above him in the mirror, Eddie smiled down at him like a benevolent father. Russ’s entire body was camped on the very edge of sensual elation; every nerve ending in his body was titillated. Two hands clutched the sides of his face and pulled his head back. A stiff cock filled his mouth, hit his throat. The butt plug left his ass and another cock pressed up inside of him, deeper than felt humanly possible. Fingers tormented his already tortured nipples; someone sucked his balls, battered his cock. His head moved up and down as the cock pumped into his throat and another into his ass. The warm cum ran down his chin as the spent cock left him, only to be replaced by another. The cock in his ass was still rock hard and the thrusting went on and on at a frantic pace. If his mouth hadn’t been filled, he would have been crying out for mercy. His cock was still fully erect. He ached for relief and just when he thought he was coming, fingers toyed with his nipples, tortured his balls…kept him hard…led him to the edge, then held him back. The cock in his ass pulled

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out. “You take him now, Eddie. His ass is yours. I want to savour that sweet mouth. I want to come in his mouth.” A cock moved across his lips. “Please,” he pleaded. He looked up into those dark, hellish eyes. “Please, I beg you,” he moaned. “Open your mouth, beautiful boy,” he said; his voice sounded like heaven and hell all wrapped up into one. A hand slapped his cock again. He cried out, opened his mouth. Eddie’s cock slammed up into him. “I love you so much, Russ. You don’t know how much I love you and now I possess every inch of you. I don’t mind sharing you, baby. I love to watch the others take you…dominate you, torture you…and there’s so much more to come.” He laughed, pumped harder. “You can’t come yet, sweetie. In fact, your cock is so hard and so beautiful like that, I won’t let you come all night.” Russ swallowed the cum in his mouth; tears dried on his face. He tried to concentrate on anything except his cock. He closed his eyes. Gray. He was there behind a tree. It was summer. The sunlight was shining in his hair. Gray poked his head around the trunk and smiled at him. “Hi, baby,” he said softly. “There you are,” Russ said. “Are you hiding on me?” “No. Why?” He grinned. “Do you want to play hide and seek with me?” “Sure.” “Whatcha going to do to me if you find me?” he teased. “You’ll have to wait and see.” He smiled at him. “Ah…I can’t wait,” he said. “That’s the problem, Russ. I can’t wait to touch you.” Russ reached out for him but he danced away. “Let’s carve our initials in the tree,” he said. “That’s kind of corny, isn’t it?” “You make me feel corny. I love you, Russ. I love you so much…Russ…Russ…” He was coming. His cock pumped and he exploded like a volcano. He let out a shout. The relief was incredible, causing a deep groan of satisfaction to rise from his chest and release into the air. He was back on the bed. The cuffs were gone. Eddie stood there looking at him. “I didn’t give you permission to come,” he said. “I-I couldn’t help it,” Russ muttered. “Are we alone?” “My friends had to leave.” He crawled in bed beside him and ran a hand over his cock. Russ turned to the side, trying to brush his hand away without making it too obvious. “I’m a little worn out, Eddie.” “Understood.” He kissed his cheek. “Get some sleep. It’s almost four a.m. and you have to be at the studio early.”

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“Um,” Russ replied tiredly and fell into a dreamless sleep.

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Chapter Four Josh arrived early Friday evening. Russ had just come back from the studio and was sitting down to dinner with Eddie when the doorbell rang. “Josh Taylor?” He recognised him right away. “Russell Thompson” -- he stuck out his hand -- “it’s an honour. We met briefly a few years ago.” “Yes. It’s good to see you again.” Russ shook his hand. “Eddie had mentioned you were coming to the party. Do you have bags?” “They’ll be along later.” Eddie appeared suddenly, wiping his mouth on a napkin. “Josh. Welcome. You’re just in time for dinner.” “I had something at the airport.” He gave Eddie a hug. Russ watched them curiously. They acted like they were the best of friends. “I’m anxious to see how the band is getting along,” Josh said. He took the drink Tim handed him, a drink Tim made without even asking, and came to join them at the table. He looked at Russ. “So, are they treating you all right?” “It was a little rough at first. It’s going better now.” “Good. I’ll stop by the studio tomorrow. You will tell me if Johnny or Paul give you any trouble?” “Ah, sure, I guess.” “Good. I don’t want you to experience even the slightest bit of discomfort. We can always unload them.” Russ narrowed his eyes. What the hell? Eddie smiled and raised his glass to Josh.

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He smiled back. “In a year, we will be among the richest men in the country,” Josh announced. “We don’t need to deal with minor inconveniences.” Tim and Carl came out to clear the dishes. Josh followed them around with his gaze. “Very nice,” he said when they had disappeared back into the kitchen again. “You like?” Eddie asked. “I wasn’t sure if your tastes ran to musk or lace.” “I’ve learned to appreciate both.” “Ah well, which one do you want, or do you want both?” “I’d like the one who reminds me of Gray,” he said. Russ glanced at him. “I suspect that’s why you chose him?” Josh looked at Russ. Russ cleared his throat. “I didn’t choose him.” “Oh. I see. Eddie, you are quite diabolical.” “I like that. Thank you. I’ll send Tim to your room later.” He nodded. “What time does the party start tomorrow night?” “Guests will arrive around eight. I have room for everyone.” “Sounds great. I hope I brought the right attire.” “Don’t worry” -- Eddie grinned -- “by the end of the night, you won’t be needing any.”

***** Paul was still in his boxer shorts at six o’clock on the day of the party. Gray went out onto the patio one last time and asked him if he was coming. “No,” he said. “I’m not going to any fucking party hosted by Russ and his boyfriend. And if you were smart, you wouldn’t go either.” “Josh will be there, along with some other important music people.” “Not going, Gray.” “Okay, suit yourself. I’ll hunt down Rod and Ivan and see if they’re ready. I might not be back until tomorrow.” “Fine. Bye.” Gray shrugged. It was just as well. He’d be on his case all night.

***** Gray double-checked the address he’d been given, then parked the car near the house. Hell. It was some house. There were parked cars as far as the eye could see.

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Rodney whistled, asking the question that had been on the tip of Gray’s tongue. “How can Russ afford this?” “It must be Eddie’s,” Ivan said, getting out of the vehicle. “Yeah. Must be,” Gray muttered, stepping up onto the porch and ringing the doorbell. The door opened, bombarding them with a mix of loud music and raised voices. A young man stood there, light blond hair, blue eyes. He smiled at Gray. “God,” he said, “It’s you. You’re Gray, aren’t you?” Gray looked at him. “Yeah.” “Can I take your coat?” “I don’t have one.” “You’re so cute” -- he leaned closer, giggling -- “I’d love to fuck you, but then I’d feel as if I was fucking myself.” “Go ahead,” Gray said, “fuck yourself. Don’t let me stop you.” He walked inside, nodding to a few people he knew. He spotted Josh in the corner. He was talking to Johnny. He was about to approach them when he saw Russ. How could he miss him? He was the kind of man who stood out in a crowd, tall, all that beautiful dark hair. He had on a pair of blue jeans and a white silk shirt, open at the throat. He was standing alone in the corner, observing people, a drink in his hand. Rodney started chatting up some big-breasted woman and Ivan headed for the bar. Gray walked over to Russ. “Hi,” he said. “Hey.” Russ raised his drink. “Quite a mix of people here.” “You can’t begin to know.” Gray grinned, catching sight of that guy who spoke to him at the door. “Who’s the guy answering the door?” “Nobody,” he said, looking around. “Well, he thinks he looks likes me.” “He does, a little.” “Does he work for you?” “He works for Eddie.” “This is Eddie’s house, right?” Russ shrugged. “I guess so.” Gray narrowed his eyes. “You don’t know?” “Who cares whose house it is,” Russ muttered. “You’re in a shitty mood.” “Not at all. Where’s the boyfriend?”

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“At home. He didn’t want to come.” “Ah. I didn’t expect you to come either.” “You know me, I’m naturally curious and game for anything.” Russ smiled faintly at him. “I remember.” “So, are you going to give me a tour, or what?” Gray trailed his gaze over Russ’s torso. Damn it. The bastard was even sexier today than he had been three years ago. Those dark eyes were doing a number on him. Asking for a tour probably wasn’t a wise thing to do, but he never was one to follow rules. “Sure,” Russ said. “Come on.” Gray followed him through the house. There was a huge entrance which was where most people were presently congregated, a gigantic living room, an industrial-sized kitchen, and a lavish dining area. Russ pointed out an inside pool, sauna and exercise room, and another pool outside. They ended up back in the kitchen. “That’s about it.” Russ turned and looked at him. Gray noticed the blond guy looking at him. He lowered his voice. “And upstairs?” Russ’s eyes widened a little. “Just bedrooms and --” “Are you afraid to take me upstairs, Russ? You never used to be.” Russ laughed a little uneasily. “What is this all about, Gray?” He ran his gaze over him again. “You want the truth?” “Of course.” Gray cast a look at the blond guy as he left the kitchen with a serving tray. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I still want you. I know you’re with Eddie, and I’m with Paul, but…” Russ placed a hand on Gray’s arm. He manoeuvred him back against the wall and pinned him there. Russ’s mouth came down hard on his, and the other hand grabbed Gray’s hand and pressed it against his groin. Gray closed his eyes. The pressure of Russ’s mouth on his was electric. It was as if he was suddenly awake again. He fumbled blindly with the zipper on Russ’s jeans. He wanted so badly to touch his cock, to bring his fingertips in contact with the hard, sticky flesh there. He sucked Russ’s tongue into his mouth, half swallowed it, opening his mouth wider so that he could devour as much of his mouth as he could. God, he was always a good kisser, so sweet and passionate and now…something more…demanding…dominating…so male and brutally urgent. With Russ’s help, his cock was finally freed into Gray’s hand. Gray uttered a little whimper as he wrapped his fingers around the shaft. God, it felt good. He’d forgotten how good it felt to touch him. He used to know every inch of him, and could remember how it felt to swipe his tongue around the perfect helmet-shaped head, recalled the taste in his mouth. “Jesus, yes,” Russ urged, lowering his mouth to Gray’s throat. “Baby, baby.”

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Gray reached up and undid the first few buttons of Russ’s shirt. He licked down his chest, nibbled at one of his nipples, and breathed his name into his skin. Russ’s cock grew rigid in his fist. Gray laid his head back against the wall, his chest heaving. Russ looked down at Gray’s hand holding his cock, then into his eyes. There was pain there, pain and naked need. “Gray,” he pleaded softly. Gray’s gaze went to Russ’s cock. “I’ve missed it so much,” he said, smoothing his thumb down the pulsing blue vein that ran the length of it. “I might be a damned fool but…I mean, it’s only a cock, but it’s so beautiful. I want to taste it so bad.” Russ was about to say something when suddenly the door burst open. Russ sprang back from Gray. He hastily tucked himself back in and did up his zipper. It was that blond again. “Tim,” he said, running the back of his hand across his mouth, a gesture that made Gray feel as if he were losing his mind, “can I help you with something?” Tim said something that Gray didn’t quite register. “I, ah…where’s the bathroom?” Gray asked. He knew his cock was making a tent in his pants. “I’ll show you,” Russ said. “The bathroom is upstairs.” “There’s one downstairs too,” Tim said, tilting his head, “off the kitchen.” “That’s not for guests,” Russ muttered, grabbing Gray by the hand and pulling him out of the kitchen and down the hall. Gray saw him looking around as he went. He seemed nervous. They headed up the stairs. “What’s wrong?” Gray asked. “Nothing,” he muttered, pointing to the end of the hall. “It’s there, the bathroom.” He looked down over the railing. Gray followed his gaze. He saw Eddie looking up at them. Russ waved at him. “I, ah…I’ll see you downstairs,” he said, and left Gray standing in the hallway. Gray didn’t realise that he was shaking until he got inside the bathroom. He glanced at himself in the mirror and ran a trembling hand through his hair, which was in disarray. His cock was so hard, it hurt. It was his own fault. What in hell had come over him? It had been over between him and Russ for a long time. He had no business handling Russ’s cock in the kitchen. He splashed some water on his face and used the facilities. He took his time walking around upstairs, waiting for his erection to go down. There were at least ten rooms. There was an office and a music room. The other eight rooms seem to be simple bedrooms, all of them quite ordinary, with the exception of what he figured out to be the master bedroom. The minute he walked into that room, he felt strange. Yes, it could be because he knew that Russ shared this room with another man. This was their room, the place Russ and Eddie made love. He probably shouldn’t have come into it in the first place. But that wasn’t the only reason he felt strange. The room was so unlike Russell. There were mirrors everywhere, for one thing, and Russell had never been vain. He wasn’t modest, but he wouldn’t get off on watching himself fucking. There were all kinds of sex toys too, and sadomasochist stuff -handcuffs and butt plugs, nipple clamps. Gray walked into the adjoining sitting room. There was a sofa and bookshelf. He picked up a few of the books; most were sex manuals, with

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some others on demonology and Satanism. Shit, this stuff either belonged to Eddie or Russ had gotten into some pretty weird stuff in the last few years. A walk-in closet stood open near the bathroom. Gray walked towards it curiously. His eyes widened when he saw the whips and chains hanging on hooks. There was a lot of leather. What the hell? He went back to the bookshelf and checked out more of the book titles: The Art of

Giving Pleasure and Pain; Come Over to the Dark Side; Satan Delivers; Ceremonies of Sacrifice. There was some pretty extreme pornographic homosexual imagery. “See anything you like?” a voice asked him suddenly. Gray jumped, almost dropping the book he was looking at. Eddie stood there, smiling at him. “I’m sorry,” Gray said, embarrassed. “I wandered in here by mistake and --” “No. You wandered in here because you knew it’s where Russ sleeps with me.” “I…” he began. “I had no right to --” “It’s perfectly all right. Come, let me show you.” Gray followed him back into the part of the room where the bed was. “Lie down.” “No, I don’t think --” “Don’t worry. I don’t want to fuck you, Gray. In fact, I never wanted you, even back in high school. Russell was all I ever wanted.” Gray blinked, keeping his distance from the bed. “You wanted Russell in high school?” “Oh, yes. Russell was all I thought about, although I would have liked to have seen him fuck you.” “Look, Eddie,” Gray began. “I don’t want to…” He stopped talking suddenly as steel cuffs dropped down from the ceiling. “Holy Christ.” “Yes. The bed moves too if you want to suspend someone in a way where you can have access to their ass.” “Why are you doing this?” “Why? Well, to make sure there are no misunderstandings. I was watching you tonight. I know what you’re up to. You can’t have him, Gray. You threw him away. Russ now belongs to me.” “No one belongs to anyone. And you don’t know Russ at all; if he heard you say that…” Gray shook his head. “Russ doesn’t belong to you or me. He --” Eddie laughed. “Please, don’t compare yourself to me. You know, I always envied you back in school, but now, I find you quite pathetic.” “This conversation is over, Eddie.” Gray headed for the door. The door slammed shut just as he got to it. “It’s over when I say so.”

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Gray turned and looked at him. “How the hell did you do that?” He pulled on the door. “It’s locked. Let me out of here, Eddie.” “I will, all in good time. Now, there’s one thing I want you to understand.” He came around and stood in front of him. “You’re permitted to be near him because you’re a requirement, unfortunately, to advance his musical career. The minute I can think of a better way to do that without you, I’ll get rid of you. You’ll be out of Russ’s life for good. You rejected him three years ago and the minute you did that, you opened the door for me. I am grateful to you, Gray. I might even decide to let you have him in my presence if I get a hankering. Like I said, I’ve always wanted to watch the two of you together. I did see you fondle his cock in the locker room once, but…” He shrugged. Gray was horrified. He didn’t know what to say. “What are you? You’re not…you’re not… I knew there was something strange about all this. I knew --” “Strange? There are many strange things in life, Gray, like horny middle-aged men who want to make love to your boyfriend when you’re not around.” “What…what are you talking about?” “Ask Johnny,” he said softly. The door clicked open. Gray stood there dumbfounded, staring at Eddie. “Now, I have to go downstairs. My guests will be wondering where I am. Enjoy the party, Gray.”

***** Russ saw Gray walk down the stairs as if he was in a dream. Eddie had come down those same stairs just minutes before. At the first opportunity, Russ grabbed Eddie’s arm and pulled him aside. “What did you do? Did you hurt him?” “I didn’t lay a hand on him,” Eddie replied. “But be careful, lover; don’t forget what I’m capable of. I won’t hesitate to make him disappear if I smell his stink on you.” Eddie pulled his arm away and disappeared into the throng of people. Russ lost sight of Gray for awhile. Josh accosted him, telling him he had a proposition for the band over the holidays. “Oh?” Russ said, distracted. He scanned the room for Gray. “What’s that?” “A ski lodge in Aspen, Colorado. A lot of big stars have appeared in this place. Good opportunity of an all-expense-paid vacation. Three weeks. What do you think?” “I’d have to ask the rest of the guys.” “If you say yes, it’s a go. You’re the boss.” “Yes, but it would be nice to ask,” Russ insisted. “Suit yourself. Let me know by early next week. It’s a good place to try out your act before going on a major tour. Any new songs yet?”

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“Some stuff the band is working on.” “Rodney says you and Gray wrote something a few years back. I want to hear it.” “We need to write the end of it.” “So do it,” he said. Russ nodded. He grabbed a drink off the tray as Tim walked by. Tim winked at him and double backed. “So? How about having me and Gray tonight, together?” “I’m not permitted.” “I’ll ask Eddie. He says he wants to watch you with a few guys tonight.” “When did he say that?” “Just a while ago. If Gray is into it, and I can tell by the way he looks at you that he is. Drink up, baby.” A few minutes later, Rodney came up to him and engaged him in conversation. As time went on, some people left and others settled in. There were naked people in the pool and in the hot tub. Tim kept bringing him drinks. He was getting really drunk and getting hornier. At one point, he thought Gray had left, but then he saw him talking to some people in the dining room. He too had had a few. His laugh was just a little rowdier than usual. Gray looked at him across the room suddenly and smiled. Russ nodded at him, held his gaze. “You want him.” Eddie was suddenly there, his voice grating in his ear. He held his elbow. “No, I’m just…” Russ said. “Just what, baby?” Eddie reached up and moved a hand through his hair. He pulled Russ’s head forward and kissed his mouth hotly, then looked over and grinned at Gray, who hastily looked away. “You’re hard,” he said, his gaze going to Russ’s groin. “It’s the liquor.” “No, it’s that whore, Gray.” “Eddie, I --” “Oh shush, gorgeous. I want to play my little games. You have no choice but to indulge me, sweetie. Coming?” “Where are we…?” Russ hesitated when Eddie pulled him forward. “I’m going to give you what you want, but only after you give me something.” Russ followed him up the stairs. “Eddie, what are you up to?” Eddie laughed and pushed him into the bedroom. “Take off your clothes.” Russ sighed. It would do him no good to draw this out. He removed his clothes.

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“Yum. Oh God, you’re such a hunk. I bet you’re more of a hunk now than you were the last time Gray had you.” “Eddie, leave Gray out of this.” Tim walked in suddenly, naked and wet. “Sorry. I just got out of the…” He stopped, looked at Russ. “Shit, you are so hot. Can I…?” He looked at Eddie. “Russ, lie down on the sofa there, hang your head over. Tim, feed him your cock.” Russ looked at Tim. “Where is Gray?” “Lie down, Russ, now,” Eddie said. Russ sighed and sat down on the sofa. Eddie pushed him onto his back and positioned his head over the arm of the sofa. Tim lowered his cock into his mouth. “Now,” Eddie said, “let’s put that beautiful cock of yours on display.” A leather strap bound his cock. Clamps pinched his nipples. The liquor he’d consumed was just enough to cause his inhibitions to leave him. He sucked Tim’s cock with enthusiasm, his own cock straining upwards for release. “You are so beautiful, Russell, and you know it, don’t you? You know what you do to those who see that beauty.” Russ closed his eyes, lost. He had no idea that Gray was in that room until Eddie said, “What would you give to change places with Tim?” Russ’s eyes flew open; his head turned. There was Gray, his green eyes dark with desire, his face twisted with such obvious need that Russell’s cock exploded. Tim came as well, removing his cock from Russ’s mouth. “Do you want to touch him?” Eddie urged. “What would you give, Gray? Would you give your soul?” “No,” Russ growled. He tried to rise off the sofa, but found he couldn’t. Eddie’s unholy gaze held him prone. “Gray, don’t listen to him. Go. Leave here. Go home.” “He wants you,” Eddie said. “Everyone must pay for what they want, Russ. You know that.” Gray reached out his hand. “Russ, God, you’re so beautiful.” Russ swallowed. Gray looked at Eddie, his eyes shining with tears. “Why are you doing this to me?” “Because I can,” he said. “I want to show you what you can never have; although for one night, maybe…but the price would be very high.” “What’s he talking about, Russ?” Gray demanded. “Don’t listen to him, Gray. Go on…go home.”

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Eddie smiled. “Make your choice, Gray. Take him, now or never. He’s yours. Do what you wish. He can’t move off that sofa. Tim, leave us now.” “But Eddie, I --” “You heard me,” he said, “leave us.” Russ heard the door open and close. “Do you want him, Gray? Last chance,” Eddie insisted. Russ closed his eyes. He felt his cock begin to stiffen again. “Take him,” Eddie whispered. “Take him, Gray.” Gray walked over to where Russ was lying on the sofa. He looked down at him with such desire that Russ was forced to look away. He wanted to tell him no, but suddenly he couldn’t speak. He wasn’t sure if it was because there was too much emotion, or if Eddie had rendered him speechless. Gray’s fingers suddenly moved along his jaw, then caressed his shoulder. He played with one of the nipple clamps for a second, felt its weight in his hand, tugged on it a little. “So sexy,” he whispered. “I never thought about seeing you like this. I’m so hard. And your cock, um, you have the most beautiful cock and it’s hard, hard like mine.” Gray’s hand moved down over Russ’s stomach to his cock. “Standing up like that, you know what I want to do, I want to take it up inside of me, feel it opening me, reliving what it used to feel like to…” Russ swallowed. He looked up into that face and it felt surreal. Here he was, the love of his life, his only love, and he was trying to find a way to get him to stop touching him. He glared at Eddie, felt Gray’s hand on his cock, then his lips. One hand moved over his stomach, flirting with those clamps. “He’s yours, Gray. Don’t you want to feel him inside you? Take him. Tell me you’d give your very soul to have him, and he’s yours.” Russ thrashed as Gray pulled down his pants and began to straddle him. He looked as if he was in some kind of a trance. He had to stop him. “Yes, yes,” Gray moaned, unwrapping Russ’s cock, pumping it with both hands now, “I’d give anything.” “Your soul,” Eddie yelled. “Say you’ll give your soul!” “No,” Russ managed, sound finally escaping his mouth. “Don’t…Gray, don’t.” He was suddenly able to move his body enough to propel Gray off of him. “Get away from me. You’re not thinking straight. Please. I love you. I love you so much, Gray. Don’t…he’s evil.” Eddie let out a cry that sounded like thunder. A great wind suddenly whirled through the room, knocking everything over. Gray was hurled against the wall. Russ scrambled off the sofa and went to him. The wind stopped. Eddie was gone. Gray was in his arms, dazed. “Russ,” he said. “What happened? Where am I?”

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“You’re ah…okay. You’re very drunk; that’s all,” Russ told him. “Wait here.” He got up and went to put on a robe, taking off the nipple clamps and throwing them aside. He helped Gray up off the floor and helped him put his pants back on. He led him out of the room. “Let’s find Ivan and Rodney, see if they’re in any shape to take you home. If not, I’ll call you a cab. I’ll bring your car to you tomorrow.” Gray looked at him as Russ took him down the stairs. “Am I dreaming? I feel stoned. I didn’t take any drugs.” “It’s all right. You’re just drunk. Sit here.” Russ put him down in a chair. Ivan and Rodney had already left. Russ called a cab and waited at the door with Gray. They didn’t speak. When the taxi arrived, Gray managed to get into the backseat without any assistance. He was still staring at him out the window when the cab drove away. Russ made his way through a bunch of drunken people lying all over the place. Eddie was outside with Josh. Tim was sitting on his knee. Johnny had passed out in one of the lawn chairs. “There he is.” Eddie smiled. “Ready to go to bed? It looks like the party is pooped out.” Josh laughed at Eddie’s joke. Russ followed Eddie up the stairs, holding his tongue until they got inside the bedroom. “What in hell was that tonight? What kind of a fucking power trip were you on anyway?” “I just wanted to make sure your little ex-sweetie understands the rules.” “And what if he had gone for it?” “Then he would have paid the price. Nothing is free; I told you that. The master is always looking for souls. Gray would have been able to make an informed choice.” “Informed choice? Sure. What did you give him?” “Nothing.” “Liar. And since when do you collect souls?” “How do you think I pay my debts? All this isn’t free. You weren’t free.” “And the tantrum you had? Look at the mess in this room!” “You told Gray you loved him.” Eddie stiffened. “I didn’t appreciate that. Don’t you ever say that again.” “What kind of hell is this?” “Is that really a question?” “No.” “So, you’ll be in Aspen over the holidays. It’s a good move.” “I haven’t agreed to anything. And this discussion isn’t over, so don’t change the subject.”

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“This discussion is over. And you will go to Aspen because I want you to. Now sleep, lover, and don’t worry about that little ex-cocksucker of yours. He’ll think it was the booze and pot talking come morning. He won’t remember a thing.” “You don’t know Gray.” “Well, I don’t think you know him anymore, either. One night, he’ll go for it, he won’t be able to resist. He wants it bad. He wants to relive his adolescent fantasies. And the moment he touches you, he violates your contract. He doesn’t even have to pledge his soul. I’ll offer it towards the payment of my debt.” “I won’t let you do that. I won’t let you take his soul.” “Then you’ll just have to resist him, won’t you? Make sure that your cock doesn’t find its way up his seductive little ass. And I’m not coming to Aspen with you, so you’re on your own.” “You mean you won’t be there to check on my every move?” “I don’t have to be there,” he said. “We’re connected now. I’ll know.” Russ closed his eyes. “You and Gray will have plenty of time to discuss old times, and plenty of time for temptation.” Russ swore under his breath. “So, it’s a test. You’re sending me up into the mountains to test me? Isn’t that what the other side does?” “It is rather biblical, isn’t it?” “You’re an evil fuck.” “Yes, I know. And you’re an expensive one, darling.” He moved up close to him and touched his cheek. Russ shoved his hand away. “Now, fuck me.”

***** When Gray opened his eyes, it was as if he was in some kind of a fog. The memories of things that had happened last night flooded over him. They were all jumbled in his mind and didn’t make a hell of a lot of sense. He gave himself a mental shake. None of it could have been real. “Russ?” he called out, then remembered where he was. “Paul?” He got out of bed. “Paul, are you here?” No answer. He ran downstairs. The house appeared to be empty. “Johnny?” He needed to speak to Johnny about something, but he couldn’t remember what it was. “Finally, you’re up,” a voice said. It was Ivan. “Ivan? Where’s Paul?”

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“Around somewhere. What time did you get home last night?” “I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I had a great time.” “Yeah, good. I need to call Russ.” “Russ?” “Yeah. I need to talk to him.” He walked over and picked up the phone, suddenly realising that he’d slept in his damned clothes. He dialled the number Russ had given everyone in the band. The phone rang several times and then the answering machine kicked in. It was Eddie’s voice. “You’ve reached Eddie and Russ. We’re not home so…” Gray slammed down the phone. Paul walked in at that moment. “Hey, there you are. How are you doing? You were pretty ripped last night.” “Was I?” Gray demanded, his voice sounding quite desperate. He grabbed Paul’s arm. “Was I really ripped?” “Yeah.” Paul gave him a strange look. “Oh, thank God.” “Why thank God?” “Nothing. No reason. I had some crazy dreams; that’s all.” He didn’t wait for any more comments. He ran back upstairs, stripped off his clothes, and jumped into the shower. His initial euphoria over the idea that he’d been too drunk to make sense of anything last night was short-lived. He realised that he wasn’t drunk when he’d first arrived, and that he’d gone right to Russell. And he hadn’t been drunk when he had let Russ kiss him in the kitchen either, or when Eddie found him upstairs snooping around in that room where he saw the handcuffs and leather outfits. Gray closed his eyes. If that stuff was true, then what about what happened later? No, by then, he was loaded. Everything else must have been imagined. When he stepped out of the shower, Paul was there. “Hey, you scared me,” Gray said, wrapping a towel around his waist. “You’re jumpy. I heard we’re going to Aspen.” “Really? Who told you that?” “Rodney mentioned it this morning. Said Josh was talking about it at the party.” “Oh. I didn’t talk to Josh much.” “Who did you talk to?” Gray shot him a look. “No third degree, okay?” “You were with Thompson last night.” “What do you mean by…with?”

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Paul shrugged. “Who told you that?” “Nobody. I just guessed that’s who you’d be with. That’s what you went there for.” Gray sank down on the edge of the bed. “Look, Paul, I’m not going to lie to you. I still have feelings for Russ, but his betrayal was… It was supposed to be the happiest night of our lives. He was the love of my life.” Paul quietly left the room. Gray put his face in his hands and took a deep breath. Then he remembered something Eddie had said to him about Johnny…something about horny stepfathers and… He picked up the phone and dialled that number again. This time a sleepy voice answered. “Hello?” It was Russ. He’d know that voice anywhere. He squeezed the phone in his hand. “Did you kiss me last night?” “Gray?” “Who in hell do you think? Did you kiss me last night, or not?” “Yeah. You didn’t put up much of a fight.” Gray cleared his throat. “What did Eddie mean about Johnny? About him being horny…and…did Johnny come on to you?” There was a huge silence. “Goddamn it, Russ, answer me! Did Johnny ever come on to you?” “Yes.” “When?” “That night.” “The night you were with that…?” “Yes.” Tears came to Gray’s eyes. One rolled down his cheek. “Why didn’t you tell me?” “I didn’t want to hurt you.” Gray couldn’t speak for a moment. “Gray?” “And so he brought me to that room because he knew you were in there with that…what was his fucking name?” “I don’t remember.” “Did Johnny send that guy to you?” “Yes.” “And then he went to get me so that I --” “Yes, yes. What difference does it make now?”

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“He wanted to split us apart because you rejected him. That’s it, isn’t it? Tell me, Russ.” “Look, there’s no point in making a big deal out of it now. It was a long time ago and --” “It doesn’t excuse what you did.” “I know. I was young and a little pissed off at you because you were flirting with that studio guy.” “What studio guy?” “You see, baby, we don’t remember those people because they didn’t matter. Neither of those guys mattered to us. I didn’t fuck him. I want you to know that. He sucked my cock, and he wasn’t very good at it, either.” Gray laughed a little through his tears. “I miss you, Russ,” he whispered into the phone. “I miss you so much.”

Silence. “Russ? Are you there?” “Yeah,” he said after a few minutes. “I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go.” The phone went dead. Gray stiffened. He’d just poured his heart out to him and he’d hung up on him. Tears welled up in his eyes. He yanked the phone out of the wall and threw it across the room.

***** “He still loves you,” Eddie commented as soon as Russ put the phone down. “Forget that. Did you tell Gray about Johnny coming on to me?” “Johnny came on to you again?” Eddie gave Russ an exaggerated expression of surprise from where he lay on the bed. “He’s such a naughty man.” “Don’t fuck with my head, Eddie. You know what I meant.” “Relax, sweetheart. You take life way too seriously.” Eddie picked absently at the duvet. “You need to stop protecting Gray. He’s a big boy now.” “You love to throw the pot into the fire, don’t you, and then hang back and watch!” Eddie shrugged. “I’m going downstairs for some coffee.” “Not yet,” he said softly. “Come over here.” Russ glanced at him. Eddie was lying there naked, his thighs spread, spouting an erection. “I need you to take care of this for me.” “Would it fucking matter to you if I didn’t feel like it right now?”

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“Not really.” Russ swore under his breath and slowly walked over to the bed.

***** Paul was sitting downstairs on the sofa in the living room watching a ball game on television. He was staring at the screen, but Gray had a feeling he wasn’t really paying attention. “I’m sorry,” Gray said suddenly. Paul looked up at him. “Sorry for what?” “For what I said.” “For once you were honest with me. Don’t apologise for that.” Gray sat down beside him. “Russ doesn’t want me anymore. It looks like I’m the only one who’s been hanging on to this relationship.” “I don’t believe that.” “Paul, I told Russ on the phone a few hours ago that I…” He sighed. None of this made sense. Russell had kissed him last night and that kiss had seemed so sincere, so… He shook his head. And there was other stuff later on, stuff that seemed jumbled in his head. Did they make love? Did they almost make love? “You told Russ what on the phone a few hours ago?” Paul asked, jarring him back to reality. “I’m going to let it go, Paul. I’m going to let everything go. Maybe I just needed to see him again to confirm that I…” Just then Johnny walked into the living room. “Hello guys,” he said. “Do you know about Colorado?”

Rage. Gray felt it as soon as he saw Johnny’s face. Gray stood up. “What’s with you?” Johnny inquired. “You look pissed.” “I…” He swallowed. “Why didn’t you tell me that you wanted Russell?” “What? Wanted…what? Russell?” Gray saw the colour drain from Johnny’s face. “What are you talking about, son?” Johnny went to place a hand on his shoulder. Gray stepped out of his reach. “Don’t call me son.” Paul was looking at them curiously. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Johnny asked. Johnny was supposed to be his parent. He’d needed him after his mother had died in that car accident. He was all he had. Johnny knew what Russell meant to him and still he

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had come on to him! He had played an integral role in ripping Russell away from him, and the betrayal was more than he could bear at the moment. He tore out of the room, Paul on his heels. Johnny didn’t follow. Gray was hyperventilating when he got outside. “What the hell is going on?” Paul demanded. “What was that all about?” “Johnny tried to come on to Russell that night, but Russell rejected him. Johnny set Russ up. He sent that slut to the room and then came to get me and… He didn’t care how hurt I was. He just wanted to punish Russ. He wanted me to --” “Slow down. Gray, you can’t be serious about this. Johnny was married to your mother.” “That doesn’t matter. He wanted Russ. I should have seen it. Now that I think about it, Johnny liked having Russ around. He was always sweet to him and --” “But Johnny never came on to you when you were growing up. He --” “I didn’t say Johnny was a pedophile, for Christ’s sakes! He would never come on to me, I was like his son, and that’s what I don’t understand. How could he do such a thing when he knew how much I loved Russell?” Paul shook his head. “This might all be a lie. If Russell told you this --” “No. Russ didn’t want me to know. He never told me.” “What are you going to do?” He took a breath. “I can’t talk about it anymore now. I don’t want Johnny coming with us to Aspen.” “Gray, what are we --” “No, I mean it and” -- Gray took Paul’s face between his hands -- “I want you. I want us to try again. I want to put Russell behind me. Help me.” Paul narrowed his eyes. “Just be patient with me. I’ll find a way to get Russell out of my heart, I promise.” “Are you sure? I don’t want to be the guy you use to get over Russell.” “Russell made some things pretty clear to me on the phone today. He’s with Eddie, and as strange as that relationship might be, I have to accept it. Russell is a great musician and one day, I hope we can be friends again. That’s all.” Paul leaned his forehead against his. “I’ll be patient. You’re worth waiting for, baby. And I know how much Russ hurt you. Just keep that in mind when you look at him, okay?” “I will. I promise. And I’ll get past this thing with Johnny too. I just don’t want to be around him right now.” “I understand. I’ll talk to Johnny and the guys. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything.”

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Chapter Five Eddie could really feel the vibrations today. It was like an earthquake rumbling deep underground. It had started about two weeks ago. He had decided at that time to let Russell go off to the studio by himself. The mundane hashing out of music and lyrics was boring the crap out of him. There were only so many times he could listen to the same damned song. The vibrations had grown progressively worse today and he knew he would have to do something soon. There was no use trying to ignore it. It was coming. He was coming. Soon he was going to have to feed the beast. When Russell returned home that night, Eddie put it to the back of his mind. It was easy to think good thoughts when Russ was nearby, even if he did seem a little distant. He loved him so much. Everything he’d done, he’d done for Russell. “Things go well today?” he asked him from across the table. Tim and Carl had cooked lobster for supper, which Russell always seemed to enjoy. Eddie poured some more wine. The wine seemed to smother the rumbling sounds. “It was okay.” Russ stood up and walked over to the sideboard and poured himself a glass of whiskey. “Want some ice with that?” “No thanks.” “So, how many songs do you guys have now, enough for a new CD?” “No.” He swallowed down half the glass. “Is Paul behaving?” “He’s okay.” “What about Johnny?” “He wasn’t there.”

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“Oh?” Russ eyed him. “Guess we don’t have to wonder why.” “And the golden boy?” “If you mean Gray, he’s cool but civil. We’re one hell of a bunch, one big happy family.” “We can’t let this stuff affect the stage performance.” “I guess we’ll find out when we play in Aspen.” Russ put down his empty glass. “Don’t go anywhere. There’s dessert.” “I’ve had enough, thanks.” “I, ah…don’t want to be alone right now. Can we go out?” Russ glanced at him. “What’s with you?” “I just want to…” He stopped, stood up. He knew no one else could hear the noise. It was suddenly deafening. “Let’s take a walk.” “Walk?” “Please, Russ.” “I’ve never heard you say please before.” “I really need some fresh air. Grab your coat.” A few minutes later they were walking past the millionaire homes and manicured trees. The vibrations rattled his insides. “Leave me alone,” he cried out suddenly. Russ stopped, looked at him. “What in hell…?” “I-I was thinking out loud, that’s all.” “You look scared. What are you scared of?” “N-nothing.” “You’re lying.” “It’s him,” he whispered suddenly. He looked all around him and then reached out to Russ. “It’s who?” Russ demanded, shaking him loose. “Him…the master…the…he’s not pleased with me.” Eddie searched Russ’s handsome face. “Please, have some compassion for me, Russ. I need to know that… Don’t leave me alone in the dark.” He wrapped himself around Russell and held on tight for a moment. “Eddie, what did you do?” “Not enough.” He swallowed. “I’m so in debt. I haven’t begun to pay in the way he…he expects.” Russ held him a few inches away now. He looked into his eyes. “What do you mean?”

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“I’ve taken too much and now” -- Eddie looked up at the night sky -- “I’ve asked one favour after another. Each has a cost and I have to give him souls.” “Eddie” -- Russ gave him a warning look -- “you can’t have Gray’s soul…or mine.” Eddie smiled. Oh, but he could have them. Once they were together in Aspen, once certain obstacles were removed, Russell would violate his contract with Gray’s help. He’d be able to promise both souls to him, but what if that wasn’t enough? What if he couldn’t deliver? “Don’t worry,” Eddie said, “if you behave yourselves, you’ll be fine. I’m working on Tim and Carl.” Russ shivered a little. “I don’t want to know what evil shit you’re up to.” Eddie shrugged. “Fine, but know this, you owe me and if you don’t make it up sufficiently to me in this life, you should at least hand over --” “I’m not handing you over anything,” Russ muttered. “I’ll honour the stupid contract until I can find some way to --” “Escape?” He laughed softly. “There is no escape, lover.” Russ didn’t say anything. He turned and walked in the direction of the house. Eddie followed silently. At the door, Eddie paused to look at him. Suddenly, he knew how he could diminish the rumbling. Tonight, with Russell’s help, he would be able to offer the master something…a soul, so easy to obtain. Why hadn’t he thought of it before? It would be like taking candy from a baby. Eddie reached out and touched Russ’s cheek. “Ah, Russell, you are so beautiful. If you weren’t, I wouldn’t be in this mess.” “Right.” Russ scowled. “Go upstairs and get naked” -- he ran his gaze over him -- “I’ve got to go out for a little while. I’ve decided to have a little party tonight and you’re the main attraction.”

***** Russ wasn’t sure what craziness Eddie had in store for him that evening, but he’d learned not to underestimate his diabolical imagination. He was sitting on the edge of the bed thinking about how distant Gray had been over the last couple of weeks when the door opened. Tim walked in and smiled at him. “Hey baby, Eddie sent me up to get you ready. I’m so lucky. Carl is eating his heart out.” “Ready for what?” Russ’s heart thumped hard in his chest. “His visitor.” “Do you know who it is?” Tim shook his head. “Now, come on sweetie, he’s on his way. Take off those clothes.” He walked over to the bed and pulled Russ to his feet. He undid his pants, smiling up at him

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as he unzipped them. “You are so handsome, you know that? I’d love to have you all to myself, but Eddie won’t let me.” “Got to sell your soul for that.” “Is fucking you worth my soul, I wonder?” He slid Russ’s jeans down over his hips. He lowered himself with them, pausing at his groin. “I doubt it,” Russ muttered. Tim allowed his tongue to swipe across the head of Russ’s cock on the way back up. “Oh, I don’t know. If you were in my position right now, you’d think differently.” Russ stepped out of the pants, watching Tim carefully. “That was easy.” Tim pulled the T-shirt over Russ’s head and threw it on the bed. “Come over here.” He motioned with his finger. “Tell me what you’re going to do first.” “Eddie said to get you naked, cuff your hands over your head, and stimulate, ah…” He paused. His tongue moved over his lips. “Baby, you make me so hot. No wonder Gray --” “Keep Gray out of this.” Tim took his arm. He trailed his finger over his upper chest, across one of his nipples to his navel. “I have to keep my head. Right now I want to rip off my clothes and… God, I’d love you to take me, Russ, here on the floor, on all fours, rough and hard, the way I know you can.” Russ’s cock stiffened. Damn it. He was good. Tim reached up over Russell’s head for the handcuffs and lowered them. “Give me your wrists, sweetie.” Russ raised both arms, resigned to his fate. There was no point in fighting. Tim attached both cuffs to his wrists over his head, then leaned down to the floor. He brought up one silver ring then another, a few feet away. “Now baby, spread your legs for me, just until your feet reach both those rings on the floor.” “I didn’t even know those were there.” “New toy, maybe. I can’t keep track.” Tim laughed. “Wider, baby, wider.” “Goddamn it,” Russ said as Tim caught one ankle, then the other. “Comfortable?” “Not really.” “Now” -- Tim put a finger in his mouth and paused -- “I have to remember where…” He stopped. “Oh yeah…oiled phallus, nipple clamps with the attachments. Oh, and he wants a gag this time.” “Must be a classy bunch of guests.” Tim disappeared for a moment and returned with a plastic jar.

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“What’s that?” “This is my reward.” “Reward?” “Yes, I get to oil up every inch of you before using the accessories.” “Aren’t you lucky?” “You make fun, but believe me, I’ve been fantasizing about this all day. And tonight, I get to watch.” Tim spread the oil on his hands and moved around to Russ’s back. “Just relax,” he whispered, moving his lips against Russ’s ass cheeks. “What are you doing here, Tim? How did you get involved with Eddie anyway?” “He picked me up in a bar one night.” Russ felt Tim’s fingers move between his ass cheeks. He closed his eyes. “He’s dangerous.” “I know, and that’s what I like about him. Eddie gave me what I wanted. I wanted to be dominated. I wanted pain. He makes it hurt so good.” “He wants your soul. He wants to put it towards his debt.” Tim spread oil over his legs and then came around to the front. “I’m not afraid. If it means an eternity of sexual pain, then he can have it.” “You don’t mean that,” Russ said, grunting when Tim grabbed his cock and massaged the oil into his shaft. He smiled. “Yes, I do.” “You can get what you need at S&M clubs.” “It’s not the same. Eddie knows what I want when I want it.” The palms slid over his stomach to his chest. Russ was trembling now with need. “You’re so hard,” Tim whispered. “I can’t help you, baby. Eddie would deprive me of what I need for weeks if I sucked that supreme cock of yours. I’ll be back.” Russ swallowed, his head going back. He licked his lips. This anticipation, this raw aching need, was so intense he felt like screaming. When he saw Tim return with this harness contraption, he pleaded with him not to touch him. “Come on now.” Tim grinned. “Let me show you how it goes. First the gag.” He showed him a ball that was attached to a leather strap with a tie in the back. “Open up.” Russ tasted the smooth metal in his mouth and felt Tim move around to the back of him and tie it tight. “Now, first the phallus,” he said softly, showing him the curved monstrosity which gleamed with lubricant. Tim walked around back and placed a finger in his anus. Russ moaned. The finger went deeper, turned around a few times, then slowly fucked him until

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the muscles relaxed. As soon as he was open, in went the phallus, just the head, then deeper, one clean thrust. Russ thrashed a little, his cock engorged, his ass pleasurably and uncomfortably violated. Tim came around to the front and smiled at him. He held up the cock ring. “This attaches to the phallus with a thin little chain. The chain is short and presses a little against the balls, just so you remember it’s there.” Tim ran a hand over his cock. Russ almost screamed. Tim lifted his shaft and moved the ring down over his cock, pushing it to the base. Tim’s fingers brushed under his cock to his balls, where he attached a thin chain. Both the cock ring and the phallus pulled a little. “How’s that?” Tim asked. Russ closed his eyes. “Now, the nipple clamps,” Tim said softly. “These have separate attachments and can be strung down to the cock ring, although I have to find…ah yes…there we go.” He held up some nipple clamps. “These are expensive. Ah, your nipples were erect when I rubbed on the oil. Looks like I’m going to have to pay some attention to them, get them ready for the clamps.” Russ moaned as Tim reached out with both hands and pinched his nipples. He pulled and twisted hard enough to bring tears to Russ’s eyes. His cock pumped as Tim clamped one nipple and then the other. Tim ran his fingers over Russ’s cock and grinned. “Don’t come. Eddie will kill me. Okay, I’m just going to attach these chains to the cock ring. I have to make sure they’re tight enough. When you move, does it pull? Oh yeah, move just like that, sweetie. Look at how hard I am?” Tim undid his jeans and took out his erection. Russ couldn’t help but thrash around some. He was so horny. Every motion he made increased the tension, pulled on his nipples, jarred his cock, and caused that phallus in his ass to shift ever so slightly. None of it gave him any release. “I hear,” Tim said softly, “that after they use you in this position, they plan to stretch you out on a table. I hope I get to prepare it. I have to go, baby.” Russ had no idea how long he was forced to linger there in a perpetual state of agonizing need. Eddie loved to make him suffer, to drive him to the brink and create a situation where he was actually grateful to be sexually violated. The idea that he was developing an addiction probably wasn’t far from the truth. He was suffering, but along with the suffering was this sexual excitement and anticipation, which was like nothing he’d ever experienced before. When relief came, it was explosive and precious, wracking his body with orgasms most would never experience. Finally the bedroom door opened and Russ saw Eddie. Eddie smiled at him. “Aren’t you a sight?” he said softly. “I’ve brought an old friend to see you.” Russ’s eyes widened as he caught sight of the figure looming behind Eddie. He began to struggle. He called Eddie every name in the book behind the gag, but none of what he said could be clearly understood.

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“Calm yourself, Russ.” The man with Eddie came closer. He ran his gaze over him and smiled. “We’re old friends.”

***** Gray was alone in the studio when Russ walked in the next day. He looked exhausted. He had black rings under his eyes. “Good thing it’s Friday,” Gray mentioned. “You look like shit.” He didn’t reply. In fact, he looked right past him. “Russell” -- Gray came closer -- “is there something wrong?” “Do you care?” Russell demanded. “Don’t you dare play the injured party with me!” “I’m not playing anything.” Russ walked over to the window and looked outside. Gray looked over at him. He wished to hell the pain would go away, but every time he looked at him, it hit him. Sometimes Russell seemed so sad. He just wanted to reach out and hold him in spite of everything. “Russ,” he said, coming over and placing a hand on his shoulder, “there’s no reason why we can’t be friends.” “Friends?” Russ turned around to look at him. There was bitterness in his voice. “You want to be my friend, Gray?” Gray was caught in his gaze, lost in it. He wanted to scream. “Don’t do this to me,” he whispered. “I’m not doing anything to you.” “You seem so unhappy and I don’t understand.” “You don’t need to understand.” “There was a time when we told each other everything, when we shared everything. I knew you were always there for me if I was hurt or… I sense your pain, and I…” Russ tilted his head and looked at him a minute. “Yeah, and there was a time we held each other every night too, and you sucked my cock and begged me to --” “Okay, enough,” Gray snapped. “I try to be nice, and you --” “Well, save it for someone else. There’s nothing you can do for me. There is nothing anyone can do. Just leave it alone.” When Johnny walked into the studio, Gray noticed Russ stiffen. Paul had told Johnny not to come around for awhile and he’d honoured that, showing up briefly here and there whenever he had business. This morning, Gray found that Johnny looked arrogant. He strutted across the room and wore a broad smile. “Good morning, boys, beautiful day.” Russ turned his back. “What do you want, Johnny?” Gray asked.

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“I won’t stay. I just wanted to tell you that I’ve finalized the details for the trip to Aspen. I’ve approved it all with Josh and Eddie.” “Fine,” Gray replied. Johnny glanced at Russ’s back. “What’s with him?” Russ turned around and glared at him. “Do you know what you did?” “Huh?” Johnny laughed and shook his head. “Do you know how dearly you’ll pay?” Russ said between clenched teeth. “He manipulated you because he needed to appease the beast. He’ll be coming to collect soon.” Gray stared at Russell. “Russ, you’re not making any sense.” “I can’t do this today.” He looked at Johnny. “You make my skin crawl. I hope when you get to hell, you rot there.” Russell left the room. Gray turned to look at Johnny. “What did you do?” “I didn’t do anything.” “Johnny, I know what happened the night we got our contract. You came on to Russ, and --” “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. That’s completely untrue. He just said that because he wants to excuse his infidelity. He --” “No. He didn’t want to tell me. He was protecting me from the truth. He knew how much it would hurt me. You were like a father to me. How could you?” “I didn’t, Gray. Believe me, I --” Gray put up a hand. “Tell me what you did.” “I didn’t do --” “Russ was clearly upset.” “Russ has some psychological problems, Gray. He’s not right upstairs. He was talking about a beast and he’s disturbed. He’s…” “Johnny” -- Gray took a deep breath -- “I don’t think we can work together anymore. I want a new manager.” “What?” “You heard what I said. I want a new manager.” “You can’t do that. You’re an ungrateful little bastard. I made you! I have a contract, I --” “I’ll talk to Josh, then.” “Talk to him all you want. Josh will do whatever Eddie tells him to, and Eddie won’t let you fuck me over.” “What are you saying? Eddie doesn’t control Josh.”

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“You heard him, sweetheart,” a voice said from the doorway, “I make the decisions now.” Gray’s eyes widened. Eddie walked across the floor. “You can’t fire Johnny. Josh will let you go first. In fact, I’m beginning to think you’re not so important to this band.” “Are you threatening me?” Eddie shrugged. “I prefer to call it friendly advice.” Suddenly Russ walked back into the studio. “Eddie, get away from him.” “Come now, Russ, I won’t hurt your little friend.” “I don’t need your protection,” Gray called out to Russ. “I can look after myself.” Russ ignored him, his gaze on Eddie. “Why don’t you take your new best friend somewhere else?” Eddie smiled. “So temperamental” -- he looked at Johnny -- “the good-looking ones always are. How about a drink, Johnny?” “Yes” -- he smiled, looking at Russ -- “to celebrate, and relive fond but not so distant memories.” “Get him out of here, Eddie,” Russ growled, “or I’ll kill him.” Eddie took Johnny’s arm and headed to the door. He glanced at Russ. “Don’t worry, sweetie, I’ll take care of Johnny.” “What in hell is going on?” Gray demanded. Russ waited until they were alone. “Nothing you need to know about. I don’t want you alone with Eddie, ever, you understand?” “Why? Is he a pervert like Johnny?” “Gray, I need to talk to you about something.” “If it’s the craziness you started to ramble on about before, then --” Paul came in at that moment. The discussion stopped. A few seconds later, Rodney and Ivan were there. “Let’s get to work,” Gray said. “We have a lot of work to do before we leave for Aspen next week.” Russ nodded. The discussion would have to wait until later.

***** The day at the studio had been a productive one and for the first time, Russ truly felt they were coming together as a band. Concentrating on the music prevented him from dwelling on the events of last night, lifted him out of the bitterness and rage he felt. He knew one thing: if he’d ever had even an ounce of compassion for Eddie, it was now gone.

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He also knew that Eddie was capable of anything, and that he didn’t give a damn how he felt about it. He didn’t realise that he hadn’t even said good-bye until Rodney caught up to him in the parking lot. “Hey,” he said, placing a hand on his shoulder. Russ turned around and looked at him. He smiled faintly. “Hey, buddy.” “I didn’t even know you had left. Are you ready for Aspen next week?” “Sure.” “I wanted you to know that I really appreciate the fact that you’re back. The band was really missing you, Russell. I feel like we’re complete now, you know?” “Thanks for saying that, Rodney.” “Ivan feels the same, and Gray too, even if he doesn’t say it.” Russ nodded. Rodney looked at him for a moment. “Russ, whatever it is you got going with Eddie, well…you and Gray…” He stopped. “It’s none of my business. I believe that Gray might have forgiven you for whatever you did or didn’t do that night if Johnny hadn’t of kept on him about it. Johnny kept turning the knife and he told Gray not to accept your phone calls. Maybe with Johnny gone --” “Johnny will be gone only when Eddie decides.” “I don’t get it.” “It’s better that you don’t, my friend. Just keep on making your music; everything will be okay.” Russ unlocked the door and got into his vehicle. He lifted a hand and pulled out of the parking lot. He sat in front of the house for a long time before he went in. He placed his head on the steering wheel and closed his eyes. If it wasn’t for Gray, he would end it. His life no longer belonged to him anyway. How in the hell did he get himself into such a mess? His emotions had been in turmoil ever since that night three years ago. The anger, the jealousy, the sense of betrayal and loss he felt. He’d thought his life was a disaster then; he was without Gray, without Survival, but it was nothing compared to what he was living now. At least then he had choices. When the door opened, he jumped. It was Eddie. “What are you doing?” “Contemplating suicide.” “Don’t be ridiculous. Dinner is ready. How about some action with Tim and Carl later? You can help me punish them.” “I hate you,” Russ said, getting out of the car. “You don’t mean that.” “Yes, I do.”

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“Well, I suppose it’s better than before when you didn’t even know I was alive.” He shrugged. “Come on inside now.”

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Chapter Six They were given a few days off before they were scheduled to leave for Aspen. Gray spent most of his free time on the phone trying to reach Josh Taylor. “You might as well give up,” Paul told him from where he lay in bed. Gray slammed down the phone. “Johnny has disappeared and Josh is screening his calls. What does that tell you?” “It tells me that Josh is busy and Johnny is using his common sense. He knows you don’t want him around so --” “You know what it tells me? It tells me that Eddie is protecting Johnny, and for some reason, Josh is being led around by the nose. Maybe he owes Eddie something. That must be it. That’s the reason Eddie is where he is right now, how he got Russ back in the band. Christ, did Josh murder someone?” “I think you’re blowing this way out of proportion. There is no conspiracy here. Come back to bed.” Paul patted the mattress. “We’re leaving tomorrow. You need to get some sleep.” “I’m calling Russ.” “It’s eleven o’clock at night.” “He tried to tell me something the other day, but I wasn’t in the mood to listen.” “Stuff about beasts and --” “Did Johnny tell you that?” “He didn’t have to. Gray, Russ is half nuts. He --” Gray put up a hand as he heard the phone ringing on the other end. “Come on, pick up, Russ.” “Hello.”

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Gray sighed inwardly. “Hey, Eddie,” he said, trying to sound casual, “I need to speak to Russ for just a second.” “Hello, Gray. I’m sorry, but Russ is a little tied up right now.” “I don’t find that funny,” Gray said, reminded of the weird stuff he saw in the bedroom that night. “We don’t share the same sense of humour, obviously. Don’t worry, you’ll have Russ all to yourself soon enough. I’ll make sure nothing stands in the way.” The phone went dead. Gray stared at the receiver. “What in hell does that mean?” “What?” Paul asked sleepily. “Nothing. I swear that guy gets weirder and weirder.” Gray shook his head, and put the phone down.

***** The driver’s name was Sam, and he was a man of little words, which suited the members of Survival fine. It was seven in the morning and everyone was half asleep as they crawled into the back of the limo. They were all looking forward to sleeping on the twohour flight to Denver. Russ was the last one picked up. He nodded to the other three guys when he crawled in, then turned his face to the window. Gray desperately wanted to talk to him about all the things which had been spinning around in his mind like a whirlwind, but there was no opportunity. The midsized charter plane was ready for them when they arrived at the airport and, forty or so minutes after arrival, they were in the air and headed for Denver. “The drive to Aspen takes about four hours, I hear,” Ivan spoke up. “Three and a half,” Rodney corrected, “if the roads are good.” Gray didn’t participate in the conversation. He was looking over at Russ, who seemed despondent. Paul had his headphones on and was listening to one of their latest tracks. He was oblivious to everything. Rodney and Ivan began a game of cards and Gray moved over to sit closer to Russ. “We need to talk.” Russ glanced at him. “About?” “About Eddie and Johnny and --” “What about Eddie and Johnny?” “You said --” “Yes, and you didn’t want to listen, so you think I’m crazy.” “I’ll listen now.”

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“Well, maybe I don’t feel like explaining it anymore. It won’t do any good anyway.” “What do you mean?” He shrugged. “I called you last night. Eddie wouldn’t let me talk to you.” “Maybe I was busy.” “Yeah, it appears that you were.” Gray knew that came out badly. Russ raised an eyebrow. “Don’t play jealous now, Gray.” “Why can’t I reach Josh?” “How would I know?” “I’m trying to fire Johnny. Eddie is protecting him. He seems to have Josh in his pocket. How is he able to wield so much power? What does Josh owe him? What do you owe him? I won’t believe you’re in love with him, that you actually like him touching you.” “You won’t, or you don’t want to?” Russ asked, leaning closer to him, his voice a hushed whisper. “Does it bother you to think that someone else besides you can turn me on?” Russ’s face was so close to his. He could feel his breath. He held his gaze. God, he was lost. He was lost in those beautiful eyes…lost in love. “Fuck you,” he said, but his tone didn’t convey much conviction. “Do you want to? Do you want to fuck me, Gray, because I sure as hell want to fuck you.” Gray swallowed. He leaned back, put some space between them. “There’s a lot you’re not telling me.” “Yes. But I’m not obligated to tell you everything anymore,” Russ replied, sitting back in his seat. “Now, leave me alone, please. Believe me, it’s in your best interest to do so.” Gray stood up and walked over to the other side. Russ closed his eyes. Eddie had made everything quite clear to him last night. If he violated his contract by sleeping with Gray, he’d have both their souls. “You know,” Eddie had said, “there’s a part of me that wants you to fuck Gray so that I can pay the man, perhaps even earn a little favour, but naturally, there’s also a part of me that is pained to think of you with him, to imagine that fine cock of yours pumping his bony little ass. The only thing that gives me solace is the fact that the revival of your love will be short-lived. If you fuck him, Russ, his soul will go directly to hell, because I’ll kill him.” I’ll kill him…I’ll kill him…I’ll… “Russ,” Rodney said suddenly, “we’re here.” Russ blinked. The plane had landed. The pilot led them to a limo that sat in a parking lot nearby. Russ crawled into the backseat. From all appearances, all seemed normal. Paul was going on to Gray about how anxious he was to go skiing, Rodney was preparing to nap, and Ivan had his nose in a brochure that described the lodge they’d be staying in. Russ

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looked over at Gray once, his heart aching, then leaned back against the seat and closed his eyes.

***** Russ knew Eddie was evil, but when Rodney came to his door to tell him there’d been an accident, he realised that there were no limits to how far that evil went. Russ had gone to his assigned room when they arrived at the ski resort. He was feeling depressed and very tired. He had lain down and fell asleep almost immediately. Rodney’s frantic knocking at his door around seven that night roused him out of a deep sleep. He stumbled off the bed and went to answer it, not very happy at the disruption. “Russell,” Rodney gasped, “there’s been an accident. It’s Paul.” “Paul?” Russ muttered, trying to clear the fog in his brain. “What happened?” “He had a skiing accident. It’s really bad.” Russ’s mouth opened. He couldn’t speak. He pressed his hand to his forehead a minute. “Oh, God no. Where is he? Where’s Gray? Is Gray all right?” “He’s fine. A helicopter flew in to take Paul to a hospital in Denver. Gray went with him. He’s supposed to call us and let us know how he is.” “I’ll come downstairs. Give me a minute.” “We’re all at the bar. And I’m not supposed to tell you because it’s a surprise, but given the circumstances…” “What?” “Eddie’s here.” “Eddie? When did he…” Russ’s pulse raced a little faster. “He was here when we arrived.” Russ nodded. He couldn’t speak. “See you down there.” Russ closed the door of his room. He doubled up his fist and pounded the door until it hurt. The bastard…the fucking bastard. It took him a few minutes to compose himself before he was able to face going downstairs. Eddie was the first person he saw. Russ watched him from a distance for a moment. He was standing in front of the bar waving his arms, deep in some bullshit conversation with Ivan and Rodney. His arrogance infuriated Russell and he felt like knocking him on his ass. Eddie stopped talking when he spotted him. He put on his “I’m so sorry this had to happen face” and hurried over to him. “Miss me?” He tried to put his arms around him, but Russ pushed him away. “You bastard! What did you do? What in fuck did you do?”

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“Do? I didn’t do anything, my love. You’re in hysterics.” He glanced over at the other two a little apprehensively. “Not so loud,” he warned. “You are arousing their curiosity. You’re supposed to be happy to see me.” Russ turned his back and lowered his voice. “You did it. You caused that accident. He better not die, Eddie. He better not…” He was so angry, he was shaking. Eddie grabbed his arm and moved them further away from the other two, trying not to make it obvious. “Darling, you give me far more credit than I deserve for this one. I didn’t do anything. I might have asked for a teeny little favour, but --” “You’re going to rot in hell for sure. It almost makes me want to be there so I can watch.” Eddie smiled like an eel. “Just think of poor Gray. He’s going to need a lot of comforting now, given that he never really loved Paul.” He patted Russ’s biceps. “Just remember our contract and what happens to you and your whore if you break it, and you will break it.” Russ watched him walk back over to the bar. Ivan was motioning to him. He slowly went to join them. He hugged Ivan and Rodney briefly, telling them Paul would be all right. He glared at Eddie. “He will be all right, won’t he, Eddie?” “Of course,” Eddie said lightly. “And don’t you boys worry about anything. I’ve spoken with Josh. Gray will be back tomorrow and Survival will perform tomorrow night as planned.” “Without Paul?” Ivan said. “You don’t need Paul.” Eddie shook his head, emptying his glass and holding it up to the bartender, indicating he wanted a refill. “We can play without him, but --” Rodney began. “Gray will be upset,” Russ said. “Maybe we can put off the first night for a --” “Nonsense” -- Eddie waved his hand -- “all the publicity has gone out. The lodge could sue. They’re booked up completely. The guests expect to see Survival and they will see Survival, the original band.” Russ recognized the hard edge to his voice. “It’s far better that Gray get to work,” he added, softening his tone, “than mope around.” “He’s got a point there.” Ivan nodded. “And, sweetie” -- Eddie looked at Russ and smiled -- “I’m only here until day after tomorrow. I’ll be so disappointed if I don’t get to hear you play.” “I bet,” Russ said, motioning to the bartender. The guy smiled at him. “Hey.” “Hey,” he said back, not in the smiling mood, “whiskey and make it a double.”

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“Okay,” he said. “You’re the new member of Survival.” “The new old member,” he said. “Look, it’s complicated.” The bartender leaned across the bar and slid Russ his drink. “I think you’re hot,” he said. “I get off at ten and I wouldn’t mind getting off with you.” “He’s taken, I’m afraid,” Eddie interrupted, suddenly appearing at Russ’s elbow. “Sorry,” he muttered, and walked away. Russ downed his drink and set the empty glass back down on the bar. “I’m going upstairs.” He looked at Rodney and Ivan. “If there’s any news, let me know right away, okay?” They agreed they would. He gave them both a brief hug and headed to the elevator. He was surprised when Eddie stepped into the elevator with him. “What do you want?” “What do you think?” Eddie asked. “I’d love to see you with that bartender.” Russ sighed. “I gave him your room number.” “You did what?” “He doesn’t seem to mind an audience.” “Fuck, Eddie.” “Yes, darling” -- he smiled softly -- “that’s exactly what the two of you will do, fuck.”

***** Gray paced the floor. The doctors weren’t telling him anything and Paul had been in surgery for over two hours. There was no use calling the guys now. He couldn’t tell them much. Paul had some broken bones and there was internal bleeding and the doctors weren’t sure where it was coming from. When Josh walked in, Gray was sitting down staring out the window, a stale cup of coffee in his hand. Ironically, it was Russ he was thinking about, wishing he was here. He had such broad shoulders and it had always been Russ he’d run to when things were going bad. “Gray,” Josh said. Gray looked up to see Josh standing in front of him. “What are you doing here?” “I came as soon as I heard. How’s Paul?” “I don’t know. I don’t fucking know anything. He’s in surgery. Something about exploratory surgery to find the bleeding. Fuck, Josh, fuck.” Gray put his face in his hand. “You need Russell. You need to be with him.” Gray narrowed his eyes. He looked up at him again. “Why in hell would you say that?” It was as if the guy had read his fucking mind.

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“I know, well, how close you two were.” “Do you? Do you really know how fucking close we were?” He stood up. “I don’t think you know. Only Russ and I know that. And while we’re on the subject of Russ and I, what’s with you and Johnny and that creep, Eddie?” Josh smiled. “What do you mean?” “How did Russ get back into the band just like that, and what’s Eddie got to do with it? And where is Johnny?” “You said you didn’t want Johnny as band manager anymore and --” “It’s not that simple.” “Sometimes it is.” He shrugged with a slight smile. He placed a hand on his arm. “You’re upset, Gray, and --” “Don’t patronize me. I’m not an idiot. I know things are…weird.” “With what’s happened, well, let’s concentrate on Paul, shall we?” Gray took a breath. “For now.” “We’ll find out what’s happening and then we’ll take you back.” “Back? Back where?” “To Aspen, of course. You have a show to do.” “But Paul… I’m not doing any show.” “You have a contract,” Josh said. “The show must go on.” Before Gray could respond, the doctor came down the hallway. “Mr. Wiese?” “Yes, how is he?” “We found where the bleeding was coming from, and we’ve stopped it. It’s going to take him some time to recover, but he’s in intensive care now and doing well. There didn’t seem to be any spinal cord damage, but we’ll have to wait and see.” Gray breathed a sigh of relief. “Can I see him?” “In a little while.” “I’ll call his parents.” “I’ll take care of all that,” Josh said. “The plane is waiting.” “I’m not going anywhere until I see Paul,” Gray said, meeting his gaze. “Very well. We’ll hold the plane an hour. We have to go out the back way because the press is crawling all over this place.” Gray didn’t comment. He walked off down the hall and dialled the ski lodge. He wanted to talk to Russ. He just wanted to hear his voice. When they were in high school, whenever he was sad or upset, hearing Russell’s voice always made it all right. “I’d like Russell Thompson’s room, please.” He waited impatiently as the phone rang. Finally it picked up, but it wasn’t Russell. It was Eddie. “Put Russ on the phone,” he said.

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“What? No ‘hello’? No ‘how you doing, Eddie’?” “Eddie. Put-Russ-on-the-fucking-phone.” “Nasty. How’s dear sweet Paul doing? Is he going to be a cripple drinking his dinner from a straw?” “Jesus Christ. Where is Russell? I want to talk to --” “I’m afraid he’s a little busy right now. He’s fucking the bartender.” Gray clutched the phone. Eddie started to laugh. “You are sick. You’re a sick, sick fuck!” Gray screamed into the phone, then threw it on the floor and stomped on it.

***** Josh had chartered a small passenger plane to take them to Aspen. Gray sat stone silent in the back. Josh made a comment or two about the turbulence that Gray barely acknowledged. “I’m sorry,” Josh said, reaching over and touching his shoulder to get his attention. “I know it must have been very upsetting for you seeing Paul that way, but he’s going to be fine.” That was just it. It wasn’t Paul’s condition that was upsetting him. It was what Eddie had told him on the phone. “The doctor will call you, I’m sure, with any news and --” “I don’t have my cell phone,” he said suddenly, glancing at Josh. “I, ah…seemed to have misplaced mine.” “I’ll have Clementine get you another one first thing tomorrow.” “Clementine?” “Your personal assistant.” “I didn’t even know I had a personal assistant.” “She’s new. You’ll meet her tomorrow.” Gray nodded. He needed Russell. He needed to talk to him and there he was, with Paul near death, fucking the bartender. Didn’t he care? What in hell kind of warped relationship did he have with Eddie anyway…whips and handcuffs and three-ways? Gray turned to Josh. “What do you owe Eddie?” “Beg your pardon?” “Don’t fuck with me, Josh. What is it that you owe him, you and Johnny and Russ and…” He sighed. “Never mind. You’re not going to tell me.” “We’re good friends; that’s all.” Josh smiled. “Just relax, Gray. We’ll be there soon and you can sleep. You look tired.”

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***** A car was there to collect them at the landing strip. They drove quietly through the dark night up the winding roads to the resort. Gray got out as soon as the vehicle came to a halt and barrelled through the front door of the hotel. He pressed for the elevator and went directly to his room. If he had the guts, he would have asked where Russ’s room was, and…and what -- break down the door, demand to know who he was fucking, and… No. He had no right, no right to know anything about that. Russ was no longer his. He lay down on the bed and closed his eyes, tears burning his eyes. He swallowed them, his memory taking him back to the day his mother had died. He’d run all the way to Russ’s house in his bare feet at ten o’clock at night. He had stood crying outside his bedroom window, bellowing his name at the top of his lungs. Russ had come outside, his face filled with fear and concern. “Gray, Gray, what is it, what’s wrong?” Gray had gone into his arms, held onto him for dear life, and sobbed out his grief. The only thing that convinced him he’d survive his mother’s death was the feel of Russ’s hard body against his. “It’s going to be all right, baby,” Russ whispered against his cheek, stroking his hair. “Don’t worry. I’m here. I’m right here. I’ll never leave you.”

***** Russ awoke to the sound of voices. He moaned a little and rolled over in the bed. He didn’t want to get up. He pressed the pillow over his head and tried to lull himself back to sleep, but the voices were too loud. He threw the pillow on the floor and got up. He put on one of those hotel robes and opened the bedroom door into the rest of the suite. “There he is,” Eddie said. Josh sat opposite him at the table eating breakfast. “He had a hard night.” Russ didn’t comment. He nodded at Josh and went to pour himself some coffee. “When did you get here?” “In the middle of the night,” Josh told him. “I brought Gray back.” “How is Paul?” “He’ll live. They did surgery last night and stopped the bleeding. He’s in intensive care and they think he’ll recover. No word yet on if he will be able to walk again.” Russ glared at Eddie. “He’ll walk again or someone will be calling in another little fucking favour.” “No need to be hostile, sweetie.” Eddie lifted an eyebrow. “I’m sure he’ll be fine.” “How’s Gray?” “Very upset, naturally. He was despondent on the way home last night, hardly spoke.” Russ leaned against the sideboard, coffee cup in his hand. Why hadn’t Gray called him? In the past, he would have been the first person he’d run to, but not anymore.

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“You’ll have the suite all to yourself tonight, Russell,” Eddie said, pushing away his half-eaten breakfast. “Josh has arranged for us to catch a red-eye.” “Yes,” Josh said, “and I would like you fellows to have a practise session before your debut tonight just to get things together, given that Paul --” “Call them together for this afternoon,” Eddie said. “I’ll make sure the practise room is ready and they won’t get interrupted.” Russ finished his coffee. “I guess I don’t have much of a choice now, do I?” “None whatsoever.” Eddie smiled. “Now take a shower, gorgeous, and wash that bartender scum off of you.” “Bartender?” Josh grinned. “Yes,” Eddie replied, “a nice little tight ass, gave Russell quite a workout last night. Oh, Russ,” Eddie said as Russell headed for the bathroom. He wasn’t interested in listening to Eddie’s sleazy rundown of last night’s events. Russ paused. “What?” “I forgot to tell you, Gray called and asked to speak to you last night. I told him you couldn’t come to the phone because you were fucking the bartender.” He gave Russ a brilliant smile and stood up. “Come on, Josh, let’s go.” Russell was speechless. “You fucking --” He stopped, balled his fists at his sides. What was the use? Eddie and Josh had left the suite. The guy was a monster, an absolute unconscionable prick, and he was powerless to do anything about it except maybe kill the bastard. That idea grew more appealing every day.

***** Russ thought about calling Gray’s room but decided to talk to him face-to-face instead. He called Rodney and arranged the practise, asking him to tell Ivan. “I’m going to see Gray. What room is he in?” “Sixteen,” Rodney said. “Do you think he’s awake?” “I saw him this morning. He didn’t look as if he’d gotten much sleep. Are you sure about performing tonight, Russ?” “I don’t have much say in the matter.” “Okay, see you at two o’clock.” “Right,” he said, and hung up. He took a deep breath and left the room. He headed down the hall, hesitating in front of room sixteen. He raised his hand and knocked lightly. He stood there for a few seconds, prepared to walk away, when the door opened. Gray looked at him. He didn’t smile. He looked awful, dark rings under his eyes, his face pale. “What do you want?”

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“I just stopped by to see how you were.” “Fine.” He started to shut the door. “Gray!” Russ placed a hand on the door. “Please.” “Please?” “Please let me… I was thinking about you last night and I --” “You were? When was that, Russell? Before or after you fucked the bartender? Maybe in between when he was sucking your cock or --” “Stop it,” Russ growled. He reached out for him. “Listen to me.” He grabbed him by both arms. Gray struggled. “Let go of me.” Russ tried to pull him closer. Gray broke loose. Russ pushed into the room and shut the door with his foot, then made a grab for Gray again. “Let me fucking go.” Gray pulled his right arm out of his grasp and hit him hard in the jaw with his fist. It hurt like hell, but Russ was determined to make him listen. “Gray, we need to --” Gray hit him again, even harder. “Next time, I won’t stop until you’re on the floor,” he threatened. Russ released him. “This is no use. I can’t talk to you like this.” “Don’t fucking play the concerned ex-lover with me now, Russell, because, trust me, you’re not cut out for the part.” Russ watched him walk across the room. “You just don’t understand what kind of person Eddie is.” “He’s a sick fuck; that’s all I know. And you’re a sick fuck for being with him.” “I’m not with him.” “Well, someone better tell Eddie that.” Russ was suddenly overcome by emotion. Something clawed at his insides. “Gray, it doesn’t matter what you feel about me. I love you. I’ve always loved you, and I will go on loving you no matter what happens.” Gray turned his back. Russ waited, tense, expecting some kind of response. Anything. What he got was silence. He cleared his throat. “Practise at two,” he said stiffly, and left.

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Chapter Seven When a knock sounded on his door again, Gray practically ran to open it. “Russ,” he said breathlessly. Rodney grinned at him. “Sorry to disappoint. Coming to the practise?” Gray nodded solemnly. “Yeah. I’ll be right there.” “I know that none of us is really in the mood to… Any news from the hospital?” “Shit. That girl dropped off the phone earlier and I don’t even know where I put it.” Gray hunted around the room. “Look, I’ll find the phone and be right there, okay?” “I’ll help you,” he said. A few minutes later, phone in one hand and his bass guitar in the other, Gray followed Rodney down to the room the resort had allocated for their practise. He glanced over at Russell, who looked away. The words he’d spoken to him earlier burned in his mind. If you

still love me, then what are you doing with Eddie? I forgive you. I forgive you everything. It was stupid. It was all stupid. If only I’d not listened to Johnny; if only I’d taken your phone calls…we would have talked it over. “Gray?” Ivan said suddenly, looking at him. “We’re waiting for you.” “Yeah, okay,” he said, nodding. The practise went quite well. Halfway through Eddie and Josh came in and stood around in the corner. Gray concentrated on the music, losing himself. The world went away. He suspected it did for Russell as well. The applause forced him back to reality. He looked up to see several people, mostly staff, standing around. He smiled faintly and looked over at Russell, who was talking to Eddie. He looked agitated. Finally, he put his guitar down and left the room.

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Josh walked over. “That was fantastic. I love the new material. I’d love to see more chemistry between you and Russ on stage tonight, however.” “Maybe I could just suck his cock onstage,” Gray muttered. Josh made a face. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m just suggesting we play around a bit. The crowd will love it. You know, homoeroticism on stage is expected with rock stars, especially ones that look as good as you and Russ. Play it. Use every advantage.” Eddie was there now, listening carefully. “Um, you do remember what it was like to make it with Russ, don’t you, Gray? Or has it been too long?” Gray turned his gaze to Eddie. “No,” he said between clenched teeth, “I remember, Eddie. I remember every succulent second of it and I have a feeling Russ does too. I’m sure we can resurrect some of it for the benefit of the art. Let me talk to Russ.” Eddie gave him what only could be described as an infuriating smile. “Do that.” Gray put down his guitar and left the room. Rodney winked at him on the way out, and Gray nodded.

***** Russell sat at the bar and drank down his whiskey, surprised when Gray sidled up beside him and signalled the bartender, a short and chubby bald guy in his sixties. “Is he the one you nailed last night?” “Please,” he said. “Bring me whatever the hell he’s drinking,” Gray said. “It’s whiskey. You don’t drink whiskey.” “You’re right. On second thought,” he said to the bartender, “just bring me a Diet Coke.” Russ looked down at the bottom of his empty glass. “I’ve been instructed that we are to simulate cocksucking on stage.” Russ glanced at him. “Do you think we can remember how it felt when…” He trailed off and picked up his glass. Russ sighed. He remembered all too well what it felt like to suck Gray’s cock. He’d dreamt about it enough. “Have you heard anything from Johnny?” “No. I told him I didn’t want him around and I guess he took it to heart.” “I’m worried about him.” Gray looked at him. “You’re worried about Johnny?” “He’s in danger.” “What are you saying? What do you know that you’re not telling me?”

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“Nothing,” he said, shoving his glass across the bar. “Just try and call him on his cell phone, okay?” “I’ll think about it. Should we practise this sexier stage presence?” “No,” Russ said, “I think we should be able to do it from memory. Just pretend you still care.” Gray reached out for his arm. “Russ, God, I…” He let go of him. Russ searched his face. He wished he could die looking into those eyes. He wanted to tell him everything, but if he did, it would bring them closer and he knew he wouldn’t be able to help himself. He wanted him so much. No, he’d have to find the strength to keep his distance, and at the same time figure out what he was going to do about Eddie.

***** Eddie watched Russ and Gray from a distance. He had yet to see a pair so pathetic. He knew it wouldn’t be long before they’d be tearing each other’s clothes off. He wished he could put money on that one. He walked over suddenly and placed a hand on Russ’s forearm. “There you are, gorgeous.” He nodded curtly at Gray. He couldn’t wait for the day to see the end of that little bastard. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” “Nothing,” Russ said. “What do you want?” “Why, a little afternoon delight, of course. I’m leaving tonight and you’ll be on stage. I won’t be getting any for awhile.” Gray turned back to the bar. “You don’t mind if I steal my lover away for an hour or so, do you, Gray?” Eddie announced. “Come on.” Russ took his arm and led him away before Gray was required to answer. “Why in the fuck do you do that?” Russ demanded on the way to the elevator. “Because I can,” Eddie said. “And to make sure Gray remembers who you belong to.” “It’s just to rub his nose in it. You enjoy inflicting pain.” “You’re becoming more arrogant than me, Russell Thompson.” Eddie chuckled on the way up to their suite. “Are you so sure he still cares that much, baby? Given that he turned his back on you three years ago and took Paul into his bed in your place --” “Shut up,” Russ said. Eddie closed the door to the suite. “Where’s Johnny?” “Johnny? Johnny who?” “Don’t be coy!”

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“Johnny got what he wanted,” Eddie threw out at him. “Do you think it was free? Nothing is free!” “So you said. After you gave me to Johnny against my will, where did he go?” “Gray threw him away, much like he did you. No one needed him anymore.” “Is he dead? Did you kill him?” “His life is out of my hands now.” Eddie took off his shirt. “He’s gone down the path.” “Gone down what path?” “The path of decadence, of lust, of…” He smiled. “Take off your clothes, Russell. I want you naked now.” He was tired of talking. Russ lifted his chin. “And if I say no?” “I’ll just have to ask for another favour.” He saw fear light in Russ’s eyes. He loved it. “What-what do you mean?” “You know very well what I mean. Paul’s not the only one who can have an accident. Anything can happen. People can be electrocuted on stage, or --” “Don’t you touch him!” Russell rushed forward and put his hands around Eddie’s throat. “I’ll kill you,” he said, squeezing tight. “I’ll kill you, you bastard.” Eddie imagined himself free and suddenly he was hovering in midair. Russ stared at his empty hands, unbelieving. Eddie started to laugh. Russ looked up at the ceiling. “My God,” he gasped. Eddie looked down at him. “You see, my love, you can’t win. I grow more powerful every day. Now, off come those clothes. You’ve made me wait long enough and you will pay for your defiance this time, my ungrateful whore.” He pushed Russell back with a giant gust of air and lifted his arms over his head. He pinned him there while suspended in the air, then floated down to the floor in front of him. Russ struggled. “Go ahead,” Eddie whispered, “a fish caught on the line. I love it. I love your body, Russell, so male, so muscular, so smooth, and it turns me on to watch you fight.” He reached for Russ’s T-shirt and ripped it down the center. “Um,” he moaned, licking around the circumference of one nipple, then the other. “You taste delicious.” “Filthy bastard.” Russell kicked out with his legs. “Yes,” Eddie agreed, pulling on the zipper of his jeans. “And this filthy bastard is going to stiffen your cock; this geek who sat behind you in high school, creaming his pants dreaming of the day, is going to have you begging for it.” The jeans fell to the floor. Eddie leaned in and took the top of his briefs in his teeth. Russell’s struggle only helped Eddie get the leverage he needed to rip them down the seam. “Sometimes, baby, you’re your own worst enemy,” Eddie said, moving away from him for a

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second and admiring the sight before him. “I don’t want to leave marks on that beautiful body, Russ, so I give you a choice. How about I give you pain this afternoon, or I give it to Gray?” “Don’t you touch him,” he growled. “Don’t you touch him,” he mocked. “Oh Russell, Russell, still so pathetic. So, say it.” “Say what?” Russell asked, his dark eyes defiant. “Say ‘I want you Eddie. I want you to fuck me until it hurts.’” “Fuck you.” Eddie shrugged. He turned around. “What room is Gray in again?” “I want…” he began. Eddie turned around. He took Russell’s cock in his hand, stroked it. “Yes?” “I want you to fuck me --” “Until it hurts.” “Until it hurts, you…” Eddie smiled. “Beg.” Russ’s chest heaved. Eddie ran his palm over it, roughly tweaking his left nipple. “Beg.” “Please,” he said between clenched teeth. “It will be my pleasure. First, I have the biggest, slickest synthetic cock you’ve ever seen. It will stretch you like you’ve never been stretched before. I picked it up just for this occasion. And a special whip. It won’t leave any marks” -- Eddie reached up and grabbed Russ’s hair and pulled -- “but I guarantee you, it will hurt like hell. Let’s get started, shall we?” Eddie saw Russ’s eyes widen when he saw the whip. “You see, Russ, you have to learn obedience. You have to know that I didn’t do this to fucking get nothing in return. You’ll be on your knees before I’m through.” Russ closed his eyes as he stood under the hot shower. He didn’t really care about the pain. It was gradually subsiding. His pride was intact. No matter what Eddie had done to him, how many times he had cracked the whip over his back, he’d never gotten on his knees to him, and he’d refused to say what Eddie wanted him to…those three little words that he’d blubbered to Gray earlier. “I’ll never love you, Eddie, no matter what. You can have my body, my soul, but never my heart.” “Would you love me if I threatened your precious Gray?” “Saying it doesn’t make it true, Eddie.” That was the end of it.

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When the door opened and Eddie stepped into the bathroom, Russ quickly turned off the shower and reached for the towel. “I’m sorry,” Eddie said suddenly. “I didn’t want to hurt you. You forget sometimes. Try to be good, darling,” he whispered, trailing his fingers along his jaw. “And don’t shave. That shadow is delicious. You’re delicious.” Russ just looked at him. “You’re a crazy man, Eddie. And one day, I’ll see the end of you.” He pushed past him and went to get dressed.

***** The first set went well. The crowd loved them. Gray decided to make the most of playing to a live crowd. He played to the people and he played to Russ. Their guitars did an erotic dance as they exchanged heated glances on stage, moving their bodies suggestively. The simulated sexual gestures greatly enhanced the sensuality of the lyrics and Gray found himself as turned on by that as he was by the music. Russ’s heated looks and raunchy moves made him breathless. When Russ went down on his knees in front of him and played a sultry guitar riff, Gray’s heartbeat hammered in his chest. Russ met his glance, rising to his feet, his face moving oh so close to his groin. The audience loved it. It was rock and roll and explicit sex all wrapped into one, and Russ was an expert at both. Offstage, Gray noticed that Russ’s movements were a little stiff. He looked as if he were in pain. He wanted to ask him about it, but Russ disappeared for around twenty minutes, and only reappeared just before they were scheduled to go back on. The show ended with a standing ovation. The clapping and chanting brought them back out for an encore. When the show was finally over, Russell didn’t stick around to sign autographs. He left the stage immediately. Gray got caught up with the crowd and it was practically three in the morning before he managed to break free. He left Rodney and Ivan to soak up the admiration of those still lingering. He was thinking about Paul as he walked down the hallway to the elevators. He checked his cell phone. No messages. Well, no news was good news. He’d call the hospital tomorrow. He intended to stop by the front desk and ask the clerk which room Russ was in, but he spotted him in the bar on the way. The bartender was cleaning off the tables, this one young and buff. “He’s the one, right?” Gray couldn’t resist saying in Russell’s ear as he moved in beside him. Russell jumped up from his seat. “Shit!” “You’re a little jumpy.” “Yeah.” Russ put his empty glass on the bar and took a step back. “Hey, where you going?” “Bar is closed,” he said. “Russell, I noticed that you --”

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“Don’t ask, okay?” Gray blinked as Russ walked away from him. He got up and chased after him. “Wait.” “What?” He stopped in the middle of the room. “You, ah…got anything to drink in your room?” Russ met his eyes. “No.” “You lie.” He smiled faintly. “Yes, I lie.” “You never were a good liar. I could use a drink and some conversation.” Russ laughed. “What?” They were in the elevator. “A drink and conversation, Jesus, that’s pathetic. Is that where we’re at?” Gray decided not to answer that one. “You seemed more relaxed on stage after Eddie left.” “Um.” The elevator dinged and they got off. They walked down a silent corridor. Russ stopped in front of his room. “Look. I think we should call it a night.” He put the key in the door and opened it. “Why? Are you afraid?” Gray met his gaze. “No, I’m not a-afraid.” “I won’t accost you.” Gray walked into the suite behind him and closed the door. “Wow. You got connections.” “Seems so. Diet Coke again?” He walked over to the minibar. “Make it scotch, a double.” Russ glanced at him. “Okay.” Gray studied his movements. Russ winced when he bent down to open the door. “What did he do to you? Did that bastard hurt you?” He came closer. “Russ?” Russell turned around. “Leave it alone, Gray.” “I can’t leave it alone. I care about you.” “Do you?” He looked at him. “Suddenly you care. Did you care during those three years when you were travelling the road to fame and I was back there in the shit?” Russell’s anger seemed to suddenly roar to life. “Did you care when my entire body ached with wanting you and you wouldn’t even speak to me? You turned your back on me. You didn’t even give me a chance to --” “You betrayed me. I saw you with --” “Some nameless jackass with his head between my legs, when you knew…you knew I loved you, with everything I had. You knew you were the only one, and after all we’d meant

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to each other, you wouldn’t even give me a chance to explain, to beg you on my fucking hands and knees if that’s what it would have taken for you to forgive me.” Tears streamed down Gray’s face. His mouth opened. There were no words. “You took everything,” Russ whispered, his voice failing. “You took everything from me; you took my hopes, my dreams; you ripped my heart out and left me at the bottom. You don’t know how many times I thought of ending it, that I drank myself to…” He shook his head. “And now, I’d give anything to go back to that endless pit I was sinking into before all this…before Eddie.” Gray sank down on the sofa. His knees didn’t seem to want to support his weight anymore. “I don’t understand any of this,” he said suddenly, shaking his head. “I know what we did to each other in the past, that much I get; what I don’t get is now.” “Eddie is no ordinary man. He’s not Short the Dork anymore. He has a powerful ally.” “Who?” Gray looked at him. “He sold his soul to the devil to have me.” Gray narrowed his eyes. “What?” “I’m not going to say it again. If you don’t believe me, I --” “The devil and you…?” “I signed a contract, a contract I didn’t read.” He shook his head. “He tricked me. He manipulates people. He caused Paul’s accident. He… I think Johnny is dead.” “Dead?” Russ nodded, pouring the scotch. Gray noticed how his hand shook. “Johnny made some sort of deal with him. Josh too, I suspect. He collects souls to pay the devil for…favours.” “Russ” -- Gray shook his head -- “I think…you expect me to believe this?” “No, I don’t.” He poured some whiskey into a glass and downed it. Gray stood up and walked over to him. He placed a hand on Russ’s shoulder. Russ winced. “Don’t. It’s what he wants. He wants me to break my contract with him so that he can have your soul.” Russ wasn’t making any sense. Gray eyed him. “Let me see what he did to you.” He pulled him around and unbuttoned his shirt. “Gray, stop.” He closed his eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. I just want to see. I --” Gray gasped as he opened Russ’s shirt. There were black and blue marks running all along his rib cage. “Oh, my God.” “He said he wouldn’t leave a mark,” Russ scoffed. “He got carried away.” “Why did you allow him to…?” “I didn’t have a choice.” Russ took a step back. “He’ll hurt you. He’ll…”

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Gray’s eyes widened. “You did this for me?” Russ didn’t say anything. He looked away. Gray took his face in his hands and turned it towards him. “Russ. You let him hurt you to protect me?” “I love you,” he said softly. “I would do anything to…” Tears welled up in his eyes. Gray didn’t think about what he was doing. He just pulled Russ’s mouth down on his. The taste of his sweet lips started a fire in his soul, a fire built of memory and passion. He moaned against the hardness of Russ’s body, felt the warm flesh through his open shirt. Russ’s hands squeezed his ass, drew him closer, the fever of their embrace exploding into an inferno of raw, aching need. It had seemed like forever since he’d held Gray in his arms, and yet everything about his body seemed so familiar. The taste of his mouth, the way his body fit with his. He was being carried away by his kiss, hardly even aware that Gray was frantically trying to get his fly unzipped. It was only when Gray backed away and said, “Christ, Russell, help me get these pants off…” that Russ realized how far this had gone. It was agony to force Gray’s hands away, more painful than any mark Eddie could have made on his body. “We can’t,” he groaned. Gray looked at him as if he were crazy. “What do you mean, we can’t?” “He set us up for this. If I violate my contract, he’ll take your soul and --” “Don’t talk nonsense. I don’t believe this shit, Russell. I only want you. I’m sorry I let Johnny drive us apart. Now I know why, but I --” “That’s not important anymore, Gray. Listen to what I’m trying to tell you. He --” “Enough talk.” Gray pulled his T-shirt over his head. Russell watched him as he took off his clothes. He had no will to stop him. He moaned inwardly, his gaze trailing over him. Naked, hard, his Gray, and he wanted him again. He so longed for his touch. “Baby,” he mouthed. Gray smiled at him, pushed off Russ’s shirt, kissed the bruises along his ribs, slowly undid his belt, and rolled down the zipper on his jeans. “God, I want you, Russell.” He went down on his knees in front of him. Russ let his head go back. He closed his eyes, ran his tongue over his lips in anticipation as Gray lifted his erection out of his jeans. “So big and thick. I remember how you felt inside of me. I remember the first time.” Russell placed a hand in his hair. He was trembling all over. “Gray.” Gray’s lips and tongue took possession of his cock. He felt the cum moving along his shaft and erupt into Gray’s mouth within minutes. Gray swallowed it and reared back, milking his cock with his fist. He smiled up at him. “I’m sorry,” Russ gasped. “I didn’t mean to --”

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“It’s because you love me.” He nodded, his eyes shining with unshed tears. He stood up. “Look at me. Look at my cock.” Russ laughed a little. Gray’s erection was also gone, his cock slick with cum. “I came with you. As soon as I tasted you, I --” He shook his head. “I feel like a teenage boy, like the first time you ever kissed me.” “You remember that?” “Oh, yes.” He reached up and twirled some of Russ’s dark hair around his fingers. “It was in the boys’ locker room at school.” He laughed a little. “You were a daring one. God, Mr. Phillips came walking in right after.” “You looked so hot coming out of that shower, and I knew you stayed behind just so that you could be alone with me.” “You did, did you?” Gray smiled. Russ pulled him into his arms and kissed his mouth hotly. Gray looked up into his eyes. “You’ve perfected your technique since then.” “I should hope so. Now, I guess I’m going to have to do something about that cock of yours,” he said against his mouth, “get you hard again.” “That shouldn’t be too difficult; that kiss took me halfway there.” Russ took his hand and led him to the bedroom. He shut off his mind. Nothing mattered. The only thing that existed at the moment was Gray, whose hands and lips were now all over him. He closed his eyes, swept away by Gray’s touch, cool fingers skirting across his chest, stroking his nipples, hot mouth sucking his balls while his cheek brushed his erection. “Take it easy,” he told him, only because he felt so fragile, like Gray could shatter him into a thousand pieces if he’d wanted. If he suddenly stopped touching him at that moment, Russ knew he would feel as if he were dying. It was exhilarating and frightening all at the same time to love someone this profoundly and if he’d ever lost sight of that, forgotten it or pretended it wasn’t true for one second, it all came flooding back the moment Gray kissed him tonight. Gray’s soft moans of contentment as he took his cock into his mouth again told him that Gray had never lost sight of it either. Russ raised his hips wantonly as Gray sucked him deeper into his throat. Fingers slipped between his ass cheeks, inching their way deeper inside of him, remembering exactly how to drive him crazy, bring him to a place where he’d do just about anything for more. Russ grabbed the blankets in his fists as two digits began to fuck him slowly, probing and hitting every primed zone. His cock was released. “Roll over,” Gray urged, removing his hand. Russell rolled onto his stomach, licking his lips in anticipation as Gray spread his buttocks and began to stab his tongue up inside of him. He moved it around, in and out and deeper, until Russ was moaning aloud. Gray lay on top of him, kissing his shoulder, his neck. He chuckled softly. “Guess you’re ready.”

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Russ moved onto his side. Gray moved with him. He pulled his body close, kissed him passionately, moving his hands over his naked flesh, filling his hand with his erection. He kissed his way down the length of him, tasted his cock and his balls, kissed him on the inner part of his thighs. Gray’s entire body was trembling when Russ left him for a few seconds and returned with the lube and the condoms. “Oh Christ, Russell, fuck me. Fuck me.” Russ lifted up his legs, inserted a lubed finger up inside of Gray and watched his face closely as he moved it in and out. “I’ve missed that so much,” Russ whispered, “the way you look when you’re so hot, so…oh God, Gray, I can’t wait anymore.” He pulled out his finger, clumsily fitted on the condom and positioned his cock. Gray cried out something when Russ pushed up inside of him. Russ felt every movement, every sigh, and every desperate request as he plunged his cock in to the hilt, liberating his senses, his restraint. He shouted out his gratitude, his breathless agonizing need to be inside him, only him, for the rest of his days. His thrusts came hard and fast, then slowed to a sensual dance of lust that carried him away to a place only Gray could take him. Gray’s face was contorted into a mask of indescribable beauty conveying that abyss between heated anticipation and sublime release. Russ grabbed Gray’s erection and jacked it in his fist as his hips slapped against his ass frantically, in need of his own relief, and it came with an orgasm that swept them both into a feverish crescendo of gasping moans of pleasure. Russ lowered Gray’s legs and moved down into his waiting arms. He snuggled closer to him, placing his head on his shoulder as strong arms enfolded him into a warm embrace. “I love you,” Gray said fiercely, squeezing him tight. “Goddamn it, but that was good.” Russ would have been content to lie there in his arms forever. It had always been like that. From the moment he had first kissed him in that locker room, he could never get enough. Every time they made love, it was like he’d been given this incredible gift, and he had always been a little afraid to leave him, afraid it would be the last time. “Russ?” Gray said suddenly. “Yeah?” “You haven’t said anything?” “What can I say? There are no words.” “I can’t believe we wasted all this time. I’ve been so stupid. It’s all my fault. My stupid pride and jealousy and --” “No,” Russ said, lifting his head, “I was the one who was jealous and weak. I should have told that guy where to go that night.” “But it meant nothing to you, I know that. It was a blowjob, nothing more. And I didn’t have a right to lock you out of that contract. You are the true leader of Survival. You’ve always been. Without you, we --”

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“Shush,” Russ said, putting his head back down on his chest. “Never mind that now.” There were far more pressing issues. The anxiety was already starting to build inside of him. He was trying to keep it at bay. God, he wanted to bask in this moment a little longer. “Let’s put the past behind us now, baby. I want to start fresh. I still love you, Russ, I love you as --” “If only we could do that,” Russell said, sitting up. “You look sad.” “Do I? Surprising, considering I haven’t felt this happy in a long time, but like Eddie says, nothing is free in this world.” Gray narrowed his eyes. Russ lowered his legs to the floor. He sat there on the edge of the bed, face in his hands for a few seconds. They’d done exactly what Eddie intended them to do. And now what? Gray’s arms came around his shoulders, his cheek brushing his hair. “Everything will be all right now. You’re back in my arms and --” “I broke the contract.” Russ disengaged himself from Gray and stood up. “What contract?” “The one I told you about. The one I signed with Eddie that I didn’t fucking read.” “How did you break it? And your contract is with Flash Music, not with --” “You don’t understand. I’m not allowed to sleep with anyone else, unless Eddie approves, and if I do… Never mind. Forget it. You don’t believe me. I don’t blame you. But I have to do something because…” Gray watched Russ as he paced around the room in his sweatpants. A few minutes ago, he’d been in his arms and he’d been so happy, so serene, so peaceful. He knew that Eddie was a creep, possibly even a criminal, but some of the things Russ said didn’t make any sense. “Show me this contract,” Gray said suddenly, getting up off the bed. He grabbed his pants and hastily threw them on. Russ sighed. “You really want to see it?” “Yes. I really want to see it.” Gray waited while Russ rummaged in his suitcase. He drew out an envelope and handed it to him. “You might be shocked. But believe me, I didn’t even see this page when I signed the contract. I would have never agreed to it otherwise.” Gray took the papers into the other room. He sat down at the table and started reading them over. Russ watched him from the corner of the room. Gray looked up at him after a few minutes. “Russ, aside from a few perks which seem to be a little farfetched, this is a pretty standard music contract.”

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Russ came bounding over. “Let me see that.” He went through the papers frantically. “Where is it? Where in the fuck is it? He took it. That bastard, he took…” Russ disappeared suddenly. Gray followed him into the bedroom. He watched as he tore everything out of his suitcase. Gray reached out for him. “Russ, stop this.” “You think I’m making this all up?” “Russ, you said something to me about the devil. Now we might have a legal problem on our hands, but --” “We have to get out of here,” Russ said. “We have a contract to play here. We can’t leave.” “He’ll know. He’ll know that we… I don’t care about myself, but he could…he needs souls to pay back his miserable fucking little --” “Russ, baby.” Gray was beginning to think that Russ had developed psychosis. His own father had been institutionalized with schizophrenia when Russell was a boy, which was the reason they’d moved to Chicago when Russ was a teenager. His father had committed suicide and Russ’s mother hadn’t wanted him to live with the stigma. “You’ve been working hard lately and --” “You think I’m like my father, don’t you?” Russ accused. Gray sighed. He hadn’t wanted to bring that up. He knew Russ found it painful. “No, I never said that. It’s just that devils and --” “Have you heard from Johnny?” “I haven’t expected to. We had a falling out and I told him I didn’t want him around. Paul said he would talk to Johnny and --” “Eddie gave me to Johnny one night,” he said, meeting Gray’s gaze. “Johnny sold his soul to --” “What?” “I’m sure Eddie gave him something else that Johnny really wanted, not just me, but don’t you see, it was the beginning, the beginning of seducing Johnny, taking his soul.” “You can’t be serious.” “When did Paul’s accident happen?” “You know when it happened, day before yesterday.” “And was Eddie here?” “He showed up around four, I think.” “And what time did Paul have the accident, before or after Eddie arrived?” “It was later…ah…around five, five thirty, I guess, but Russ, that doesn’t have anything to --”

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“He wanted Paul out of the way. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s been to see him in the hospital already.” Russ marched out of the bedroom. “Call the hospital. Call the hospital and find out how Paul is doing.” “I intended to. Just a minute. I have to find my cell phone, the one Clementine brought me yesterday.” “Who’s Clementine?” “Our personal assistant.” “I didn’t know we had one.” “Josh hired her. I lost my…no, corrected, I broke my cell phone and he got her to bring me a replacement, ah…here it is.” Russ watched him as he dialled the hospital. He spoke to someone for a few minutes, then hung up. “The nurse at the desk told me that he’s stable and coming along fine.” Gray walked over and hugged his arm. “Now, come on, relax. Everything will be all right. You need to tell Eddie that it’s over. I don’t know whatever possessed you to get involved with that character, but I guess I have to be grateful to him in one sense. He brought you back to me.” Gray kissed his cheek. “Now smile, baby. I’m going to take a shower. Order us some room service, okay? You know what I like. I’m starved, but I don’t want to go downstairs. I can’t bear to share you with anyone just yet.” Russ smiled faintly. “Okay.” Gray walked into the bathroom. Russell swallowed hard. Gray didn’t believe him, and he really couldn’t blame him. Every instinct in his body told him to run, to take Gray and get the hell out of here, but Gray wouldn’t leave in the middle of a contract. How could Eddie know what had just happened? Maybe he was panicking for nothing. He picked up the phone and dialled home. It rang several times and then the answering machine picked up. As the message played, Russ clenched the phone receiver in his hand. It was Eddie’s voice and it said, “This number has been disconnected. The occupants have been relocated to hell. Thank you for calling and have a nice day.”

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Chapter Eight Russ was sitting on the bed when Gray emerged from the shower. He looked so astoundingly beautiful standing there half naked, rubbing the towel over his glistening skin. The food arrived, sandwiches and a veggie tray. They sat together on the bed eating. Russ laughed softly as Gray devoured the sandwiches. “What?” Gray inquired, glancing at him. Russ was grinning at him. “I’d forgotten the way you eat; you eat like you make love.” Gray put down the sandwich. He smiled seductively. “Oh, yeah? You know, I’d much rather be eating your cock right now. In fact,” he said, crawling over to him on his hands and knees, “I think I’ll do just that, eat that luscious cock of yours. Any objection?” He took hold of the waistband on Russ’s sweatpants and pulled them down, exposing Russ’s cock. It curved upwards slightly, succulently on display. How could he resist that? He placed a hand on Russ’s stomach and pressed him back against the pillows. He ran his gaze over his cock, and licked his lips as he looked up at Russ. “Beautiful, hot, um, delicious,” he groaned, lowering his head and laving the head with his tongue. Russ made a sound in his throat. “You’re going to tease me to death now, aren’t you?” Gray bounded up on his knees and unwrapped the towel from around his waist. “Maybe,” he said, thrusting his hips forward. Russ reached out to him and Gray slapped his hand away. “Ah, ah, ah, didn’t say you could touch, you bad boy.” He gave him a playful shove and lowered his head again, this time sucking the head of Russ’s cock between his lips. “Um,” he said, sitting back up again, “you taste so good.” “Then eat it,” he urged, lifting his hips in invitation. “Come on, Gray. Eat it.” Gray looked down at his own erection. He lifted it in invitation to Russ, and fondled his own cock in his hand for a second, allowing his head to go back. He closed his eyes, ran a

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tongue over his lips again, while he posed seductively for Russell, letting a hand brush one of his nipples. “Make me,” he urged, meeting his gaze suddenly. The look in Russ’s eyes was turning him on big time. He reared up and took Gray down on his back. A hand squeezed his cock; lips smothered his mouth. Before Gray even knew what Russ was doing, he’d pushed him halfway off the bed. “You’re going to eat my cock,” Russ told him. He now stood in front of where Gray’s head hung over the bed. Fingers grasped his nipples and pinched as Russ’s cock lowered to his mouth. Gray teasingly licked the dewy head of Russ’s cock, his body jolting as Russ continued to play with his nipples. “And if I refuse?” he taunted, closing his mouth against the assault of Russ’s cock. “I’ll torment your nipples” -- Russ smirked -- “until you beg for mercy.” Gray licked his lips again, the taste and smell of Russ permeating his senses. Russ circled his sensitive nubs with his thumbs, slowly rubbing and plucking at them. “You love to have your nipples played with. I could clamp them.” “You wouldn’t dare.” Gray laughed, glancing up at him. “Try me.” “No way.” Gray laughed again, following Russ with his gaze as he walked over to the nightstand and pulled open the drawer. He turned around, dangled a pair of nipple clamps in his hand, and lifted an eyebrow. Gray’s cock jolted, a sensation of tingling pleasure spreading up his limbs. Russ crawled over his legs, then straddled him. He laid the nipple clamps aside for a minute. Gray lifted his head to see what he was doing, but Russ pushed him back down again. Russ wrapped his hand around Gray’s cock. “I’m going to give you an orgasm like you’ve never had before, baby.” Gray gasped as he felt the leather strap being tightened around the base of his cock. “What are you…?” “I won’t hurt you. Don’t worry. Close your eyes.” “Oh God,” Gray groaned. “It’s…” He sucked in some breath as Russ’s teeth gently took hold of his nipple. “They’re so hard.” Russ played casually with the other. “So sensitive. You should see how big and stiff they are now. So seductive. God, I’m hard,” Russ groaned. “I want to fuck your ass so much, Gray, but not yet.” Gray felt the strap tighten. He cried out. Without warning, Russ clamped his nipple. He suckled the other, then clamped it as well. “How does it feel?” Russ asked. “Um, the tension is…oh God, Russell…”

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“Good, come on, you have to see.” Russ took his hand and pulled him off the bed. Standing behind him, he made Gray look at himself in the full-length mirror, pulling his hands out to the sides, then up over his head. “Keep your hands folded behind your head.” Gray let his head go back against Russ’s shoulder. He couldn’t believe how much like a wanton slut he looked and he liked it; he really liked it. He’d be Russ’s whore any day. Russ smiled. As if reading his very desires, he said, “Get down on your hands and knees, and suck my cock.” Gray slid his body down the length of Russ’s and went to the floor. Russ had positioned him so that he could watch himself sucking his cock. It was the most erotic thing he’d ever done. As he took the length of Russ’s shaft into his mouth, Russ urged him to take it deeper. Gray’s cock pumped in its bondage. He wanted to come so bad, even as Russ’s cock hit the back of his throat. Russ’s face contorted in orgasm. He let out a low hiss then went to the floor and hastily freed Gray from the strap. It only took two strokes in Russ’s hand and cum streamed up out of his cock, hitting Russ’s stomach. Russ fondled his own cock, making it spring to life, and pressed Gray to the floor. “Lift your legs over your head.” He scrambled to his feet and came back with lube and a condom. On his knees, he spread the lube in his hand and began to ready Gray’s ass. Gray could hardly get his breath. His cock began to stiffen again, while he was still reeling from orgasm. He moaned as Russell’s finger probed deep into his ass. Another hand reached over and pulled on the nipple clamps. “My nipples ache…ah Russ…God…God…I can’t take anymore.” He let his head fall to the side, and lifted his ass off the floor. Russ tore the condom package open with his teeth and rolled the rubber onto his erection. Gray watched him through the mirror. “So hot,” he breathed. “I can’t wait to feel your cock inside of…” He moaned as Russ took hold of his legs and yanked him upwards. His cock went in hard and deep. “Can you feel me?” Russ looked at him in the mirror. “Oh, baby…yes, yes…I feel you.” “I’m going to ride you hard, make sure you remember.” “I remember,” he cried out as Russ began to pump. He felt his teeth rattle, watched the beauty of Russ’s face in the mirror, and suddenly there was nothing else in the world but Russ, now, here, his cock buried deep inside of him, and his hand reaching for his aching cock. When the soothing creamy fluid flooded into him, he let out some breath, coming right as Russ jerked his cock into release. As Russ withdrew, he crawled up over him, carefully removed one clamp from his nipple, and suckled it. Then he removed the other

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clamp and did the same. Russ lay there on his chest, laving his chest, his nipples, then lifted his mouth to engage him in a long, passionate, deep-throated kiss. Gray sighed with pleasure, wrapped his arms tighter around Russ, and closed his eyes.

***** The telephone rang a half hour later. Russ answered. It was Ivan asking if they could have a quick practise before the show. He agreed. Gray would have been content to remain in that hotel room forever. He couldn’t get enough of being alone with Russ, looking at him, let alone touching him. Sex with him had been incredible, so kinky and erotic. He could easily become a nymphomaniac. The session lasted a little over an hour. Later, before the show, the four of them had dinner together in the dining room. Russ was quiet during dinner and he didn’t eat much. He seemed to be constantly looking around as if he expected someone to walk in and snatch him out of his seat. “Did you call the hospital today, Gray?” Rodney asked suddenly as the waitress brought them their coffee. “Yes, they told me that Paul was doing about the same, stable.” Rodney pulled out his cell phone. “Excuse me a second, I think I’ll call myself.” “Good idea,” Gray said. He looked over at Ivan, who was talking to Russell. “I think we should finish that song,” Gray said suddenly when there was a lull in the conversation. “That’s what I’m talking about,” Ivan said. “I think I have a few ideas.” “Good,” Russ replied. He smiled at Gray. Gray smiled back. “What’s taking Rodney so long? His coffee is getting cold.” Just then Rodney came back to the table. He looked at Gray. “You didn’t call today.” “Yes, I did. Russ was right there when I called.” Russ nodded. “He called. What’s up?” “Paul is out of the hospital.” “That’s impossible,” Gray said, pulling out his phone. “He was hooked up to machines two days ago. I saw him with my own eyes and the nurse said today that he…” He pressed the speed dial for the hospital, and held up a hand. “The phone is ringing.”

“Hospital, Intensive Care. May I help you?” “This is Gray Reis. Look, my friend just called there. He was told that Paul Roberts had been released from the hospital. Why wasn’t I notified?”

“That’s impossible. He is stable and progressing nicely.” “Ah…thanks.” Gray stood up, and closed the phone. “What in hell is going on here? The nurse just said he’s still there.”

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“Rodney,” Russell said, “give me your phone. What’s the number?” “I programmed it in. Just press six.” Russ dialled and waited. “St. Joseph’s Hospital, Intensive Care, may I help you?” “Yes, I’m calling to find out how Paul Roberts is doing? I’m his cousin.” “Mr. Roberts? Ah, yes, he was released earlier today.” “Are you sure?” “Yes. I’m sure.” “Do you know who he left with?” “I believe his uncle came and picked him up.” “Thank you.” Russ closed the connection. “I got the same information as Rodney,” he announced. “I don’t get it,” Gray said. “Try to call Rodney on your phone,” Russ told him. “Call Rodney? Why?” “Just do it.” Gray shrugged and dialled Rodney. Nothing. “It doesn’t ring.” Russ shook his head. “Eddie didn’t want you to know Paul was out of the hospital. One more soul he’s gotten. That bastard. It’s not hard to figure out what he gave him.” Rodney blinked. “Speak English.” Gray stood up. “Why don’t you tell Rod and Ivan about the devil now?” Russ sighed and closed his eyes as Gray stalked off. “Okay,” Ivan said, “what devils?” “Never mind. You guys are not involved in this. The less you know the better. Do either one of you know the number of Paul’s parents?” “No. Gray does, though,” Rodney said. “Okay, I’m going to talk to Gray. We’ll meet you backstage in about an hour.” On the way up in the elevator, Russell’s head was spinning. He stood in front of Gray’s door and knocked. Gray took a long time to answer the door. “Russ, I don’t --” “Call Paul’s parents, find out if anyone in his family picked him up. He’s probably in danger.” “From who? The devil?” “Gray, can’t you see what’s right in front of you?”

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“Yes, yes I do,” he said, tears lighting his eyes. “I see you. I see the man I love coming undone and falling apart.” He grabbed Russ’s shirt and pulled him close, kissing him hotly. “Don’t fall apart on me, baby. I love you. I --” Russ kissed him back hard, ripping at his shirt. He wasn’t sure why he wanted him so badly now; maybe he thought that if he didn’t have him now, he’d never get the chance to have him again. The world was falling down around him. He could see it crumbling piece by piece. And fucking Gray right now seemed oh so precious and urgent. Gray’s torn shirt was in his hands. He grabbed Gray and pushed him back against the wall. He wound what was left of the torn shirt around Gray’s wrists and lifted them over his head. With one hand he pressed them there while he pulled at the belt on his jeans. Gray’s head fell to the side as he thrust his hips forward. Russ roughly fondled his cock, his balls, licking and biting at his nipples. “You’re so goddamned sexy,” he breathed, struggling to get his own pants off with one hand. He pushed them over his hips and let them fall around his ankles, pushing Gray’s thighs apart with his knee. His lips followed his jaw to his throat where he licked at the salty skin, then moved down to his chest, his hand weighing his erection, moving his fingers along his shaft. He took one of his nipples between his teeth, sliced his hand under Gray’s balls and up to his ass. “Beautiful ass,” he growled, his mouth capturing his now, raping his mouth with his tongue. Gray was moaning his name, precum dripping off his cockhead, lubricating Russell’s hand. Russ grabbed Gray’s arm and turned him to the wall, urging him to keep his arms above his head. “You’re so sexy,” he told him. “You drive me crazy on stage. Last night it was all I could do not to take you right there with all those people watching. Would you have liked that?” He slapped his ass a few times, remembering how Gray used to enjoy a light spanking. Gray used to tease him, act like a bad boy, and Russ would tap his ass a few times. It made him so hot. “Oh, how turned on you are,” Russ told him, slapping his ass again. “Nice ass, so firm and round.” He ran his hand up his spine, grabbed a fistful of his silky blond hair, drew his head back while he reached between his legs and played with his cock. “You’re almost there, leaking cum, wanting me. You do want me, don’t you, baby?” “Yes,” he moaned, “oh yes.” Russ slapped him again, one cheek then the other. “Spread your legs, give me your ass. Give it to me.” Gray laughed a little. Russ wrapped an arm around his waist, pulled him forward, propelled his legs apart. “My slut, my whore, my beautiful Gray. I’m not sure who taught who to be a man, but shit.” Russ raced over to the little stand and opened the drawer. He opened the package and put the condom on, quickly returning to Gray. “I’m going to get you ready with your own cum,” he told him, running his hand over his shoulders and ass while the other one separated his ass cheeks. He brushed his own cock against him a few times just to tease him, and it did the job. Gray was more than ready to take him on. Russ took a few minutes to tease his hole with his sticky fingers, then he grabbed his hips with both hands. “Beg for it,” he urged.

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“Oh baby, please,” he whispered. “Please, Russ, please.” Russ smiled and placed the head of his cock at his opening. He teased him a second or two with it, then pulled Gray’s ass forward and pressed into him. Gray opened to him without too much of a struggle, so tight, so greedy. Russell’s cock took over completely and he hammered Gray against that wall for as long as he could hang on, his hand reaching around to jerk Gray’s cock into submission. The pleasure shook them both, humbled and weakened them into a stupefied state of delirium. The ringing of the phone sounded far away. It was ignored. Russ lay quietly on the carpet on his back, his head turned to the side. His chest was still heaving with the exertion, his spirit still somewhere high above himself. It was like death in a way, peaceful, without thought or worry. Gray undid his wrists and threw his shirt aside. He went down on his knees and burrowed between Russ’s thighs. Russ felt his sweet tongue begin to lick his inner thigh, his balls, his cock. Russ smiled at him. He reached down and pulled him up on top of him. He studied his face, wanting to memorize everything about it. “That was hot,” Gray said softly, pushing some of Russ’s hair off his forehead. “You taste so sweet.” He kissed his lips. Russ took his face between his hands and kissed him harder. The phone started ringing again and this time it seemed real. He held Gray close to him for a moment. Fear. Fear of losing him again. “I’ll get it,” Gray said, making a move to get up. “No,” Russ said, pushing him aside. “I’ll get it.” It wouldn’t be a good idea for Gray to answer the phone. What if it was…? He checked the time. They had a half hour before the show tonight. “Hello,” Russ said. He scarcely dared breathe. “Hello, is this Mr. Gray Reis?” “No. This is Russell Thompson.” “I’m trying to reach Mr. Reis. I need to get an urgent message to him.” “Who is this?” “This is Captain Doug Flanders from the LAPD.” “Police?” “Yes. Is Mr. Reis there?” “Just a moment.” Russ handed the phone to Gray. “It’s the police.” Gray looked surprised. Russ stood by as Gray took the phone. “What?” he said, his hand reaching out for Russell’s. “When?” “What is it?” Russell insisted.

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“I’ll be on the next available flight. Of course. Thank you.” He hung up. He looked at him. “It’s Johnny. He’s dead.” Russ took a breath. He had known it would only be a matter of time. “How?” “They found him in a-a leather bar…an underground one. Apparently, he died…ah…” Gray ran a hand through his hair. “They found him in the club tied up. He died from sexual torture.” Russ swallowed. “I have to go home to make funeral arrangements. I’m his only family and --” “Don’t go.” “I have to go,” Gray protested, picking up his clothes. “It’s a trap.” “What in hell are you talking about?” “I’m coming with you.” “No,” Gray said. “You can’t come with me right now. You have to do the show tonight. You can’t cancel on this much short notice. It’s both our careers, everything we’ve worked for. Call Josh and get a replacement…a bass player. You can play lead, improvise. I’ll call you and tell you when the funeral will be and…” Russ followed Gray around helplessly. “I can’t get a bass player tonight. You’ll have to play.” “I can’t. I’ll see if I can get one of the house musicians to take my place. I’ll call Josh and see if he can get someone to fill in. Meanwhile I’ll make the arrangements. Go and get ready now.” “Stop.” Russ put his hands on his shoulders. “Just take a breath. Listen to me. I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry about Johnny. I know he was like a father to you.” “I can’t think about that now. I’m on automatic pilot and I’m confused. I don’t understand what in the hell is going on anymore. First this stuff with Paul and now…” Tears came to his eyes. “I told Johnny I didn’t want him around, Russ. I…” Russell pulled him close. “You were angry. You had a right to be angry, but I’m sure he knew you cared about him deep down.” “I didn’t know what he was really like. I didn’t know he had a dark side.”

But Eddie did, Russ thought as he held Gray in his arms. Eddie knew all about it.

***** Russ’s head was not into the show tonight. Although the audience was getting down to the music, Russ wasn’t feeling it. He kept thinking about that message on the answering machine. What had Eddie done with Tim and Carl? Where in the hell was he? What was he

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up to? Gray had hired a private helicopter to fly him to Denver where he was going to take the first flight out. He’d left before the band had finished the second set. As soon as the show was over, Russ went up to his room. He tried the house again and listened to the same lame message. He tried Eddie’s cell phone. No answer. He had a bad feeling. He dialled Josh’s private home number and got the answering machine there as well. He left a message. “I’m sorry, but I can’t complete the contract. Do what you want to me, sue me, but I’m going after Gray.” Neither Rodney nor Ivan was too happy when Russell told them the following day that he was leaving as well. He couldn’t blame them. He hated leaving them holding the bag, but he didn’t have much choice. “I’ll talk things over with the owner before I leave. I’ll take all responsibility for this,” Russell said, but he really didn’t give a shit about what the owner thought. He apologised again and said he’d call them. When he left, the skies were clear. As soon as he got inside the airport, a raging blizzard seemed to spring up out of nowhere. One flight after another was delayed or cancelled, including his own. He couldn’t help but think conspiracy. “Whose soul are you going to give in exchange for this one, you fucker?” he mumbled to himself as he sat waiting in the airport. He didn’t care if people were looking at him. He was frustrated, stuck in the bloody airport while God knew what was happening to Gray. He had no way to reach him. He had a bogus cell phone. There was no answer at Johnny’s house in Los Angeles, so he either decided not to stay there or wasn’t home. He was two and a half hours away from Los Angeles by plane, but he couldn’t get there. Frustrated, he asked at the desk when the next flight would be. “I don’t know, sir. This storm was completely unexpected.” “Yeah,” he said, “I bet. Where do I rent a car?” The map told him that he had over a thousand miles to drive before he reached LA. Normally, a drive like that would have taken him about fifteen hours, but that wasn’t accounting for the weather. He had no choice. He couldn’t just sit around. He got into the Ford Focus they’d given him at the rental place and headed out.

***** Gray signed all the necessary paper with the funeral director and chose an urn. Johnny had always said he’d wanted to be cremated. An autopsy had been ordered by the police to rule out foul play, but the police captain told him that they suspected he’d died of a heart attack. Gray couldn’t bring himself to go back to the house, so he’d rented a hotel room. He hadn’t spoken to anyone since he’d arrived except for the notary who had all the necessary papers in his office, the police, and the funeral home director. He was exhausted when he arrived at his hotel. He was just about to call Russ to let him know when the service was going to be when there was a knock on his door. When he opened it, he was surprised to see Eddie and Josh.

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“I just heard,” Eddie said, walking in, Josh at his heels. “If there is anything I can do, Gray, please, don’t hesitate to ask.” “I’ve taken care of everything,” Josh said. “The owner of the resort will be compensated.” “The rest of the band will carry on,” Gray said. “If the guys want to come for the funeral, they can, and then go right back. I should be able to finish up here and join them. At least we can save some of it. I was just about to call them, actually.” “I’ll take care of all that for you,” Josh said. “We don’t want you staying here.” “Why not?” “It’s not good to be alone at this time,” Eddie said. “Come and stay with me.” “No, I…” Eddie gave him the creeps, actually, and he couldn’t help wondering why he was being so damned nice to him all of a sudden. “I insist. Get your things.” “I’d rather be alone right now,” Gray said, backing up a little. “I insist,” Eddie said softly, the words sounded like a whistle coming through his teeth. “I think you should leave now,” Gray said stiffly. “I’m not going anywhere with you.” Eddie sighed. “Well, I guess we’ll have to do this the hard way.”

***** It was after ten o’clock at night. Russell had been driving for almost six hours. He wasn’t even halfway. He stopped for a cup of coffee on some forgotten highway and filled the gas tank. The bad weather had followed him for at least three hours. Now it was clear and he was able to go a bit faster, but by the looks of it, he wasn’t going to be in LA until the morning. He put the radio on full volume and got back on the road, almost falling asleep a few times. He stopped around two in the morning and took some air, stopped for another coffee, telling himself he was going to make it. When he hit the Las Vegas exit, he felt like crying with relief. At one point, he wasn’t even sure that he was on the right road anymore. He stopped for more coffee around five and hit LA around six-thirty in the morning. He called Johnny’s house again. No answer. How in the hell was he going to find Gray? Had he rented a hotel room? He couldn’t call all the damn hotels in Los Angeles. He decided to drive to Flash Studio. He waited in the parking lot until nine o’clock, then went in. The woman at the desk looked startled when she saw him. He knew he looked exhausted. “Where’s Josh?” he asked. “In his office. Do you want to…?” He didn’t wait to be asked. He walked down the hall and opened the door marked “Josh Taylor.”

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Josh looked up in surprise when he saw him. “I’ll call you back,” he said into the phone receiver and hung up. “My God, Russell, you look like hell.” He stood up. “Where’s Gray?” “I don’t know. I haven’t heard from him. I assume he must be busy making the arrangements and all that… Terrible news about Johnny.” “Why is it I know that you’re lying to me, Josh? Where’s Eddie? His phone number is disconnected.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” “Call him.” “Right now?” “Yes.” He shrugged. “Okay. How did you get here?” “I drove through snow and sleet and shit.” Josh picked up the phone and pushed in some numbers. “Eddie? Sorry to disturb you, but I have Russell here.” Josh handed him the phone. “Here you go. I’ll leave you, give you some privacy.” He went out and closed the door. Russ took the phone. “Where is Gray?” “Hello sweetness, love of my life, my red-hot lover.” “Fuck you. Where’s Gray?” “Someone violated their contract and in record time.” “Where is Gray? I swear to you, Eddie, if you lay a hand on him --” “We had a deal. You should have disciplined that cock of yours, Russell. I guess daddy will have to discipline it for you. Come on home and I’ll answer your question, that is, if you’re nice to me, and the operative word here is nice.” Russell hung up the phone and left Josh’s office. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, got back into the car, and drove in the direction of the house he shared with Eddie.

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Chapter Nine Gray blinked open his eyes and saw nothing. He was submerged in darkness. His ankles were tied together, his feet barely touching the floor, and his wrists were shackled over his head. His mouth tasted dry and he moved his jaw a little, trying to work some saliva up into his mouth. “Hey,” he called out. “Hello?” His head pounded sickly and he knew that he’d been given some sort of drug because his thoughts were foggy. He was trying to remember how he’d gotten here. Eddie. He remembered Eddie coming to his hotel room. Josh had been there too. What in hell was going on? “Eddie! Eddie. Where are you, you…fuck! Untie me. Someone get me out of here!” He called out until he was hoarse, then fell silent. No one could hear him and if they could, they weren’t responding. He closed his eyes and tried to pull on his restraints. He suspected he was in a basement. It smelt damp. Why in the hell would Eddie do such a thing? Had he found out about him and Russ? Was it jealousy? “Eddie!” he cried out again, but there was no response except for his own rapid breathing.

***** Eddie watched Russ get out of his rental car and walk up the path. When he opened the door and looked at him, the expression on Russ’s face resembled a concrete mask. He looked exhausted. It was obvious that he hadn’t slept in hours. Eddie shook his head. “Well, hello, Russell. You look beat. Can I get you something?” “Where is he?” Russell demanded. He walked up to him and looked him directly in the eye. “Where is Gray?” Eddie laughed a little, not ready to underestimate Russ’s anger. He took a step back. “Calm yourself. Your little boyfriend is fine.” “Where-is-he? I want to see him now.”

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“Not until we have a little talk.” Eddie walked around to the other side of the sofa, placing it between him and Russell. “I’m not talking about anything until I’m sure that Gray is all right. I don’t trust you.” “That’s too bad; without trust in a relationship, what do we have?” He lifted his hands up in the air. “Stop fucking around. Where is he?” “In the basement.” Russell ran to the basement door and pulled on it. “It’s locked. You can pull on it all day, you won’t get it open.” He folded his arms across his chest. “You know, you’re so pathetic, Russ. This sentiment you have for that little bastard sickens me.” Russ glared at him for a moment, then made a rush for him. Eddie lifted off the floor. He hovered above him, looking down. “You can’t hurt me. I’m invincible. I’m even more powerful now than I was.” He laughed as Russell tried to grab at him. Russell was infuriated. “Very sexy. I’ve seen that look before, Russell, just before you come.” “Fuck!” Russell screamed. “Aggggggggggg!” He turned around and punched the wall, then picked up a glass vase off the coffee table and threw it across the room. “So male,” Eddie said, folding his arms across his chest. “I think that’s why I fell so hard for you. You were always so male. Masculine, that temper…so ferocious…out of bed and in bed.” Russ sank down on the sofa, his chest heaving. “That’s it baby, calm yourself. Have a drink.” Eddie came back down to the floor. “Just remember, every moment you waste is another moment not knowing if Gray is alive or dead.” “You said he was all right,” Russ said between clenched teeth. “Yes,” Eddie cooed, pouring himself a drink, “but like you said, you don’t trust me.” “What do you want? What in fuck do you want? I’ll do anything. Just let him go. Release him and --” “You broke your contract.” “You set me up. You got Paul out of the way so that --” “Yes.” He smiled. “But you know, even if I had left Paul up there, Gray would have found a way. He’s been biding his time. He couldn’t wait to rip your clothes off and --” “Enough.” Russ stood up. “I don’t care what happens to me. Let him go.” “I need him.” He shrugged. “I’m not done paying my debts.” “You’ve got Johnny. You have Josh too, and probably Paul. Where are Tim and Carl?” “Oh, their souls were mine from the beginning.”

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“So let Gray go. You can have mine.” He nodded. “I’m not finished with you yet. I love you, remember?” “Oh yeah, right.” He sneered. “Love. Don’t you mean lust?” “Same thing.” “Let him go. I won’t ever leave your side again. I won’t ever see him again.” There were tears in Russell’s eyes. Eddie shook his head. “How touching. I’ll tell you what, I’ll accept your proposition and I’ll give Gray a chance to live, if he passes the test.” “What test?” “It won’t hurt. It’s a simple question. If he gives me the right answer, I’ll let him walk out of here tonight. Fair enough?” “What’s the question? Tell me the fucking question.” “All right. I’ll let Gray go if he agrees to give you to me, body and soul, until I tire of you and decide to end your life. He must also agree never to see you again.” Russ was trembling. “What about the band?” “I’m afraid your career is over. You had your chance to prove yourself to me, but you broke our agreement. I gave you everything, Russell, and you betrayed me. From now on, you’re my slave. There will be no life for you, except to do my bidding. Not only will you be my sexual plaything, you will help me seduce souls and pay my debts. Soon you will undergo the transformation from human to demon.” “Transformation…demon?” “Yes. I will take you places you’ve never dreamt of.” “You planned all of this,” Russell accused. “It’s what you wanted from the beginning.” “For you to be mine, body and soul? Of course it was. I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you. All I’ve done, I’ve done for you. I want you to share it with me, this spectacular existence where the world is at your command.” “What if Gray refuses to agree to what you --” “Choose you over death? You are arrogant. If Gray chooses wrong, we will have to do all we can to convince him.” “I want to see him walk away from here in one piece.” Eddie nodded. “And if he gives me the wrong answer and you fight me on this, you will leave me no choice but to…” He couldn’t even say it. “I hope it doesn’t come to that, my love. I don’t want to be without you. We must ensure for both our sakes he chooses correctly.”

*****

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He was dozing, caught halfway between being awake and asleep. He was holding Russell’s hand and they were walking across the field. There was a dark shadow hovering over them and Gray was afraid. “Don’t worry, baby,” Russell said, looking into his eyes, “I’ll protect you. I love you; don’t you know that?” And then his eyes turned dark. There was something inhuman in those eyes. “No…oh God…no…Russell…Russ…” “Now, now, calm yourself, Gray.” There was light streaming in from somewhere. Gray opened his eyes, adjusting to the glare. He looked around him. Eddie was standing close. There were others. Josh. Two young men he’d seen before at Eddie’s, one who looked like him and another. He’d been in the kitchen that night Eddie had had the party. He gasped suddenly. “Paul?” “Hello, Gray.” He looked fine, as if he’d never been in that skiing accident. “Why? Paul, why are you here?” He shrugged. “I wanted to walk again.” “You don’t love him anyway,” Eddie said. “He finally understands that. He knows that as soon as he was out of the way, lying near death in the hospital, you jumped into bed with Russell. He’s always played second fiddle, but he doesn’t have to do that anymore.” Gray hung his head. “I’m sorry, Paul. I’m so sorry. I tried, but --” “Enough of your bullshit,” Eddie interrupted. “I never understood what Russell saw in you. I racked my brain in high school trying to figure it out.” He came closer. “Sure, you have a tight little ass.” He slapped it and smiled. “You like that, don’t you?” “Don’t touch me.” Gray looked at the others with trepidation. “What are…you going to do to me?” “Nothing. We just need to make sure you understand. Now, I’m prepared to let you walk out of here if you agree to my terms.” “And if I don’t agree to your terms?” “You die, rather horribly, I might add.” He ran a finger over Gray’s cheek. “First, we get to do what we want with you. I have dreamt of torturing you, Gray. After all, you were responsible for all my suffering back in high school. Maybe I might even flay you alive.” Gray swallowed. “Russell will find out about this, and he --” “Russell knows.” “Where is he? Is he here? If you’ve hurt him, I --” “You’ll do what?” There was laughter. Gray looked over at Paul. He couldn’t believe he was standing there, a part of all this. “What has he promised you?”

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Paul came closer. He touched his hair. “Power,” he whispered. “He’s promised me power, and it’s the ultimate aphrodisiac.” “This man is a monster…a criminal.” “Is that what you think I am?” Eddie grinned. “So tell me, before I ask you what I came down here to ask you, how was sex with Russ after all this time?” “None of your business.” “Did he fall asleep in your bed? You see, Russell has been experiencing sex in ways you couldn’t even imagine. He’s tasted the wild side. He could never be satisfied fucking you. He needs so much more.” Gray swallowed. “He loves me.” “Does he?” “Something you wouldn’t know anything about.” “If he loved you so much, why has he agreed to devote himself to me?” “You’re a liar.” “He wants you to leave here. He never wants to see you again, Gray. Survival, the band the two of you began, is no more.” “It’s true,” Josh said. “I have let Russell out of his contract.” “You’ll say anything Eddie tells you to. Do you owe him money?” “I owe him much more than that,” Josh said softly. “Listen, if you want to form a new band with Rodney and Ivan, I have no objection, but Survival is gone.” Gray could hardly breathe. “I don’t understand.” “He wanted to make sure you felt pain, Gray,” Eddie announced. “Russ wanted to fuck you and leave you, just like you did him, just like you did to Paul here. You reap what you sow. So, agree to leave here and not look back. Agree to forget that Russell ever existed and I’ll release you. You’ll be free to lead your life.” “I want to hear Russell say that.” Gray lifted his head, fighting the tears. “I want to hear it from his lips.” Eddie looked at Gray. “If you insist on torturing yourself, I’ll get Russell. He’s upstairs.” “Upstairs?” Gray gasped, tears burning his eyes. “Russell is here?” “Of course,” Eddie said. “I’ll be right back.” He looked at the others. “Come on upstairs. Russell will want to do this without an audience. He’s been waiting a long time.” Gray watched the others file out of the room. He remembered Russell’s anger. He told him how he’d suffered those three years, how Gray had left him at the bottom. He thought Russell had forgiven him. He’d believed him when he said he still loved him. My God, this is a nightmare, a living nightmare.

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Russell shook his head. “No. I can’t,” he told Eddie. “Tell him he doesn’t mean anything to you anymore if you want to save his life,” Eddie told him. “He thinks you set him up. I told him you fucked him only to make him feel pain. You better make him believe it, Russ, or I swear, I’ll strip the flesh off his bones. He’ll die in agony. I’ll make you watch. Finish it!” “I’ve never really hated before, Eddie, but I can taste the hate in my mouth for you.” He spit on the floor in front of him and headed for the basement. He stopped at the door. “Aren’t you coming? Don’t you want to witness it, savour your victory?” He shook his head. “No. My victory will be having complete dominion over you. I don’t need to watch the crash. Better make it an Academy Award performance.” Russell swallowed the pain and made his way slowly down the stairs. How was he going to do this? His heart was already breaking. He had no choice. He knew Eddie would kill Gray if he didn’t drive him away. “Russell,” Gray said breathlessly. Russell stifled a groan. He was alive. He was okay. “Russ, what’s going on? I don’t --” “Shut up,” he said. “Just don’t…don’t talk. Did you think I could love you again after all you did? You stole my dreams. You pushed me out of your life, took another man in your bed, and you expect me to still care about you?” “Russell, I don’t believe…I mean, the other night when we made love, I felt it. I felt that you still --” “It was all an act,” Russell said. He could hardly breathe. He couldn’t go on. The look on Gray’s face was killing him. He turned his back. “Go away, Gray. Leave here and don’t ever come back. I want to be…I want Eddie. I don’t love you anymore. I can’t stand to look at you.” The tears welled up in his eyes and he quickly went up the steps, almost tripping on the last one. Eddie stood at the top, smiling. “It’s done,” he said miserably, tears rolling down his face, “now let him go.” “Go upstairs to our room. You can watch him leave through the upstairs window. I’ll even call him a cab.” Russell started up the stairs. “Oh, and Russ,” Eddie said, “make sure that you’re naked by the time I come upstairs.” Gray watched as Eddie unlocked the cuffs from his wrists. Paul leaned down and undid the rope around his ankles. Eddie handed him a damp towel. “You might want to wipe your face.” Gray ignored the towel and wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his shirt. “I don’t want anything from you,” he said stiffly.

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“Well, at least you know the truth.” Gray looked at Eddie for a second. “So, I’m free to go then?” Eddie nodded. “Yes. And don’t come back.” “Don’t worry,” he said, “I won’t.” “I’ve called a cab for you,” Paul said. “What do I tell Rodney and Ivan, Paul?” “Tell them whatever you like.” Gray walked up the stairs and into the entrance. He opened the door and walked out into the cool air. He ignored the cab that was waiting on the side of the curb and kept walking. He felt as if he were walking through a dream, tears streaming down his cheeks. None of this could be real. The man he loved hated him. Russ had given him back everything and then taken it all away. It was fitting, he thought bitterly. He’d done exactly the same thing to Russell three years ago, hadn’t he? Russell watched Gray disappear around the corner. His entire reason for living disappeared along with him. The pain of knowing that Gray thought he hated him was too much to bear. That much pain would kill him, so he’d have to encase his heart with hate. The hate would sustain him at least, and give him a reason to go on living. As soon as Eddie walked into the room, he focussed that hate. He’d hang onto it, let it fester inside of him like a sore, and one day that pain would serve him. He took off his clothes and lay down on the bed. He felt nothing when Eddie touched him and that’s exactly what he wanted to feel: nothing.

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Chapter Ten It was one evening almost three weeks later when Eddie came into the bedroom and told Russell it was time. “Time for what?” he asked listlessly from the bed. The television had been broadcasting the dismantling of Survival all day. “None of the band members will comment on the unravelling of the band,” the news anchor said. “A representative from Flash Music stated today that there will be no legal action taken against members of the band.” Russell hit the remote control. He sat up. “Where are we going exactly, another leather bar…a strip club, some underground torture chamber?” Eddie smiled indulgently at him. “Border World.” “Border World? I take it that this Border World is not a new shopping mall.” “No. You won’t need to dress up. Take my hand.” Russell narrowed his eyes. He stood up with a sigh. “Take my hand and close your eyes.” “Eddie, no games. I’m not in the --” “Shush, the games haven’t even begun yet, sweetie. Hold on.”

***** Gray ignored the pounding on his bedroom door. He rolled over in bed and closed his eyes. “Go away,” he mumbled. “Leave me alone.” He had pulled the phone out of the wall two weeks ago. He didn’t want to see anyone or talk to anyone. When his bedroom door opened, he lifted his head up, and then lowered it again. “Go away, Rodney. How in fuck did you get in here?” “Gray, you’ve been in here for days.” He sat down on the edge of the bed. “You’ve got to eat, wash. This room is a disaster. Gray, please. We can start another band.”

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“I don’t want to start another band,” he said into the pillow. “Go away.” “We need you. Ivan and I are not going to just curl up and die. Look, I don’t understand what happened, how Paul and Russell ended up just leaving the band or why Josh cancelled our contract, but we can start over.” “I don’t want to start over. I want to die.” “Well, you’re not going to. I won’t let you. Come on.” He pulled on him. Gray started to fight. “Fight me all you want, but you’re getting into that shower. I know you’re depressed; hell, we’re all depressed. We’ll get you some help if you need it, but I’m not going to stand by and let this happen to you.” Gray yelped as Rodney pushed him under the shower. Ivan was standing by with a towel when he got out. When Ivan wrapped the towel around his waist, Gray burst into tears. The other two held onto him and let him cry it out. When he was calm, he sat at the table and drank the tea Ivan had made. Rodney made him some soup. He managed to keep it down. “I thought he loved me,” he said suddenly. “It sure felt like it.” “I’m sorry about Russell,” Ivan said. “He was going through something. Gray, you’re young; they’ll be other guys.” Gray nodded. Yes, maybe so, but there would never be another Russell. He was the love of his life. “You’ll love again,” Rodney said. “We need to concentrate on our music. Gray, we can find some other musicians, start over, something new.” Gray reached out and squeezed Rodney’s hand. He smiled at Ivan. “Okay.” He nodded. “I’ll give it a try.”

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Chapter Eleven “You got to be kidding,” Russell said as he walked through a foggy haze with Eddie. It was the spookiest thing. He felt as if he were walking on sponge rubber. Suddenly everything went black. “Where in hell are we?” “Here. Don’t worry. We’re just transitioning.” “Transitioning?” “We are moving from one world to another.” “You might have warned me about this.” “I thought you liked surprises. Ah, here we are. Welcome to Border World, lover.” Russell looked around him. Strange faces peered at him; not all of them looked human. There were creatures with fangs and dead-looking eyes, chalk white faces, shadows walking to and fro, and then…decadence…sexual depravity, little corners where creatures feasted on the blood of others, sounds that whispered things he wouldn’t dare repeat. “What is this place?” “It’s a demon world,” Eddie said. “No one will touch you. You’re safe.” “What are we doing here?” Russell shuddered. “Remember, I spoke of giving you the power. I have asked for an audience with Mallory.” “Who is Mallory again?” “He’s the overseer, formerly a bean counter, now his own master.” Russell followed closely on Eddie’s heels. He shuddered inwardly. This place was terrifying. Suddenly they were thrust into a place where music blared. All kinds of creatures danced, some naked, others dressed, some with bright green flesh.

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Then abruptly all that evaporated and they were standing in front of a blond-haired man sitting in a chair. He looked quite human. He stood up, dressed all in white and held out his hand to Eddie. “Ah, we finally meet.” “It is a pleasure,” Eddie said. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” “I am flattered. I have been here before.” “Yes, I know.” “I wasn’t granted an audience before.” Mallory didn’t comment. “I realise that it is a great honour to be received by you. You know of my request?” Mallory’s eyes were on Russell. “I know, yes. He is quite the specimen. Hello, Russell.” “Hello.” Russell looked around him. A strange fog surrounded them. “He is reluctant,” Mallory commented. “Not at all,” Eddie said. “He’s just the strong, silent type.” He looked at Russell. “Tell Mallory how eager you are to serve me.” Russell issued Eddie a tight smile. “Of course.” What choice did he have? Every time Russell offered the least little resistance, Eddie threatened to hurt Gray. Mallory met his gaze. It was so intense, he felt himself drawn inside of it. “You are

beautiful. You realise that there will be great pain involved in making this transformation. This power I can give you varies depending on the strength the mortal already holds before the transformation. You have great power already. Do you want this power, Russell?” “Yes…yes… I want it.” “Does Eddie know what you will do with this power once you have it? I don’t think he realises the amount of hate you have inside of you. With this power, you could destroy him…” “I live for the day I can destroy him. He has taken everything from me. Bring it on; anything I need to do, I will do.” Mallory gave Russell a secret smile. “I believe he is a good candidate.” He looked at Eddie. “If he passes the test, he will be granted the power.” “I have quite a few debts to repay. I need Russell to help me do that.” “I’m sure he will be very good at it,” Mallory purred, moving around him. “He already possesses great personal charm.” He clapped his hands. Russell’s eyes widened when he saw two hideous creatures appear out of the fog. They were naked, their skin white, their eyes and mouths rimmed with blood. They reached out for him greedily with cold, clammy hands. He began to struggle. Pure terror filled him.

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“Strip him and hang him up,” Mallory instructed. He smiled again at Russell. “If you survive the sexual torture, you will be put in the pit. It is there we will see how fit you are to receive these powers. Good luck.” The salivating, snorting creatures dragged him off through the fog. They ripped off his clothes and hung him upside down. When Russell saw the instruments of sexual torture lined up on the table below him, he began to pray. Someone laughed softly in his head, then he heard the words… You’re wasting your energy, my beauty, there is no God here. Eddie begged Mallory to participate in Russell’s trials. He was denied. “You may watch from a distance,” Mallory told him. “You may not interfere.” “And have you yourself indulged, Mallory?” Eddie gave him a slanted smile. “I will allow the succubus to soften him up first, and then I will take my pleasure. I’m afraid I have a weakness for beauty of that calibre.” “They won’t leave any permanent scars?” “You’ve already done that.” “I’m not sure I like you.” Mallory raised an eyebrow. “Well, I’m positive I don’t like you. But tell me, Eddie, how did you manage to wriggle that much power out of the master?” “I’ve served him well.” “No one serves him well. He’s insatiable.” “He finds me worthy.” Mallory laughed. “You mock me.” “His wrath is unexpected and harsh, Eddie. You will not be prepared. And he has an interesting sense of humour.” Eddie shrugged. “I have brought many over to him. I have paid heavily for my debts, and now with Russell at my side, I will bombard him with so many gifts, he will be at my feet.” Mallory laughed heartily. “You’re a fool, Eddie.” Eddie sobered. “If you think I am such a fool, why did you agree to help me with this? I could have gone to him.” “You didn’t go to him because you knew he would have refused you. Russell’s loyalty is not voluntary, it is coerced. He obeys you to protect the man he loves. You had no choice but to come here. I have no scruples, but in some matters, ironically, he does.” “And what is your angle? You have yet to tell me what you will ask for this?” “It is mere entertainment for my friends. What demon wouldn’t enjoy watching a well-hung, naked beauty wrestling a couple of lusty, blood-craved creatures in the pit?”

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Eddie gave him a suspicious look, then nodded. “Okay. I can understand that.” “Good. Now, why don’t we watch my succubus at play?” Eddie grinned. “Now you’re talking.”

***** Russell had gone away in his mind. The pain had deepened, spreading throughout his body, numbing his senses. The place he had gone to escape made him happy, turned the tears on his face into tears of joy. The laughter was no longer hideous, but joyful. Gray’s beautiful face smiled up at him. They were lying on the grass near some body of water, so young, so happy. Gray was sprawled across his body. He had a piece of paper in his hand and a pen. He was writing something. “Come on, Russ” -- he swatted him -- “help me. It sounds good. Give me the next line.” “Okay, what do we have so far?” “If the world ended tomorrow, I would be with you…see my life reflected in your eyes, bury myself in your arms and feel safe when the world tumbled down around me. Touch me and take me there…fly me on your angel wings and make me secure in your love.” “Okay, how about…if the world ended tomorrow, I would” -- he grabbed him and rolled on the ground with him. He began tickling him -- “tickle you until you kissed me and told me you loved me.” “I love you,” he called out, laughing, trying to get away. “I love you, Russ…stop. I love you…I love you…I love…” “Open your eyes, Russell,” someone said. He was lying on the floor. He looked up into Mallory’s eyes. “Congratulations. You’ve made it to the second stage. Can you stand?” Russell moved onto his knees. With a grunt of pain, he stood. That hatred was still there and he had used it for as long as he could, then even that didn’t spare him. Gray carried him through the rest of it and now, as the pain subsided, the hatred returned. Mallory reached out his hand and stroked his cheek. Eddie is a fool. Mallory nodded at the incubus who stood ready to take him. “Throw him into the pit.” And as he flew through the air, falling, falling, he heard… “Good luck, Russell. Hold onto

that hate. Use it. Survive.”

***** Gray woke up screaming. Ivan was there in a flash, trying to comfort him as he gasped for breath. Rodney stumbled into the room next, half asleep. “Is he okay?” he asked Ivan.

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Gray pushed all the hands away and jumped out of bed. He began to pace. He’d never had a nightmare like that before. “Those damn antidepressants,” he said. “I’m not taking them anymore.” “Tell us what’s wrong,” Ivan urged. Rodney perched on the edge of the bed, yawning. Gray shook his head. “I can’t explain it. It didn’t make any sense. I saw Russell and he was bloodied and bruised. It didn’t even look like my Russ.” “Gray, you said you weren’t going to call him that anymore,” Rodney cautioned. “Well, Russell then. It seemed so real. His eyes. They were really bright, glowing. These creatures were beating him,” Gray sobbed, “hurting him. He was crawling on the ground trying to get away…he was…dying.” “It’s just a bad dream,” Ivan said. “Let’s go downstairs and have a drink or something.” “I don’t want a drink. I’ll be all right.” Gray settled back into his bed. Rodney and Ivan left his room, but the impression of that dream didn’t. He felt as if he had been right there with Russ, in that pit. At one point, Russell looked right at him with those bright, pain-filled eyes. Tortured. He looked tortured and battered, yet more determined than he’d ever seen him. And just before he’d woken up screaming, he was certain he heard Russ speak his name. It was as if he were in the same room. Gray closed his eyes again. He missed him so much. How could Russell have said those things to him after they had made love the way they did? “Oh Russ, baby,” he whispered in the dark, “I still love you.”

***** “Gray,” Russ said, trying to lift his head. He couldn’t see. His eyes were half sealed shut with blood. His leg was broken and he was sure most of his ribs were too. They were coming to finish him. Would he really die, or would he just be given back to Eddie? “Kill me,” he whispered.

“Use that hate, Russell, use it. You will have more power than you’ve ever had…you will have what you need to defeat him.” It was those words that compelled him to crawl to the corner and push himself up to his feet. The bottom of the pit was scattered with weapons, spears, spikes, and chains. He felt the jagged spike he held in his hand. He could see the outline of the beast out of the corner of his eye. The creature sprang in the air and Russell slanted it upwards, catching the beast on the way down. The spike went straight through his chest. He was down. Russell rolled against the wall, falling to his knees as the other landed on his back, trying to impale him with his huge phallus. Russell shook him loose and picked up the chain to his left. He heaved it, hitting it in the head. It lay stunned. Russell crawled to the other corner and picked up the

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sword that lay there. Again he struggled to his feet, wiping the blood from his eyes. He hobbled over to the creature and brought the sword down, taking off its head. He fell, his entire body shuddering. A huge gasp of air went through his lungs and he felt his body lifting in the air. The pain disappeared; his senses sharpened. He felt strength like never before course through his limbs. He stood in front of Mallory. “Congratulations,” Mallory said. “You have transformed.” “I feel…what’s happened to me?” Russell looked at his arms and his legs. There was no blood and no scars. His muscles seemed sleeker and more taut. He felt incredible, but strange. Everything looked clearer. He could hear the tiniest of sounds and smell all kinds of strange aromas. “You are demon now. You have great power.” Mallory smiled softly.

“Demon? Is that what I am, some kind of a monster, no longer human?” “Don’t be afraid, Russell. You are now more powerful than Eddie, although he never imagined that. Strength comes from within. You have always had much more strength and character than Eddie. The transformation merely builds on what’s already there. It cannot do more.” “Then?” “Yes. It means that you are no longer Eddie’s slave. I will leave you with the pleasure of informing him of that in any way you see fit.” “I appreciate that. And who do I have to pay for this transformation?” “That’s the beauty of it. You owe no one. You didn’t request it. Eddie did. It is Eddie who owes. I hope you will leave enough of Eddie to allow me to collect in the near future.” “I wouldn’t dream of depriving you of your due.” “I appreciate your generosity. Oh, and a word of caution: other demons will recognise you in the human world and that may make life somewhat challenging. I would advise that you allow Eddie to show you how to use this new power before you extract revenge.” “Thanks for the warning.” “Now,” Mallory spoke aloud, “shall we inform Eddie of your successful transformation?” A slow smile spread across Russell’s lips. “No, let me.”

***** It had been over four months since Gray had last seen Russell. He had walked around as if in a dream. His entire life had changed and not for the best. The band had moved out of the huge house and bought a small three-bedroom place in a lower class neighbourhood. They weren’t broke by any means, but they needed to save money. Rodney had found them a studio to rent and they were still auditioning guitar players. Gray couldn’t seem to make a

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decision. He knew Ivan and Rodney were growing impatient with him. How in the hell could he choose a replacement for someone who was irreplaceable? It was a particularly hot summer day in June when Rodney finally blew up at him. The air conditioning in the studio was not working well. Everyone was hot and tired. They had auditioned three particularly good guitar players that morning, all of whom Gray had found fault with. “Jesus Christ,” Rodney snapped, “stop thinking about Russell and Survival. Put it behind you and move on.” “I’m not thinking about Survival,” Gray bit back. “None of those guys were right.” “No one is right except Russell, but he’s not coming back. Damn it, Gray, Ivan and I are hurting about that too. We loved Russell, maybe not the same way you did, but he was our friend. He just left us high and dry. And you won’t even tell us what in hell happened except to say that you saw Paul, and that he…none of that made any fucking sense. Paul didn’t even like Russell, and the feeling was mutual.” “I think it’s time you told us what went on,” Ivan, who had been standing in the background listening to all this, said suddenly. “You didn’t say a damned thing at Johnny’s service except that you never wanted to see Russell or Paul again. What in fuck happened?” “Eddie threatened my life,” he said suddenly. He couldn’t believe he finally said it. The fear was still with him. “He’s…there’s something wrong with him.” “He threatened you?” Ivan demanded. “Why in hell didn’t you go to the police?” Rodney added. “Russell and Paul were involved, and Josh Taylor, who told me our contract was terminated. And what I couldn’t get over was how well Paul looked, as if he’d never even had an accident, and Russell was so damned strange. I was just so happy to get out of there alive, I --” “Out of where?” Ivan asked. “They drugged me. Eddie and Josh took me from my hotel room and tied me up in Eddie’s basement.” “But why in hell would they do something like that?” Ivan shook his head. “I think it was…well, because they didn’t want me near Russell anymore…at least Eddie didn’t. He’s been obsessed with Russell since high school. I never knew that. What I can’t understand is how Russell acted, what he said to me. It didn’t make any sense. And did you know that Eddie was physically abusing him?” “No,” Rodney said. “Although I noticed he was a little stiff the last time we performed together.” “I saw some pretty heavy S&M stuff in Eddie’s bedroom. I don’t think Russell meant those things he said to me. I think he was coerced into --”

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“Gray” -- Rodney touched his arm -- “it’s because you want to think that so badly. Listen, you know Russell, better than anyone. If he wanted to be here, he would, nothing would stop him.” Gray nodded silently, but he couldn’t help thinking about something Russell had said to him up in Aspen -- something about doing it for him…to protect him. Rodney and Ivan took him out for supper that evening, and then they went drinking. They were all pretty blasted by the time they got home. Rodney handed him the phone number of the guitarist Gray had admitted to liking the most. “Call him,” he urged. “Now?” Gray laughed. “I’m wasted.” “Doesn’t matter. It’s the best time. Tomorrow, you’ll change your damned mind again. We’ve got to get this new band going. Do it. Call him.” “What’s his name?” “Cody.” Gray dialled the number. After a few rings, a sleepy voice answered. “Cody, it’s Gray.” “Gray? Do you know what time it is?” “No, but you got the job. See you tomorrow.” He hung up. He’d done it. He’d officially closed the door on Survival, and on Russell Thompson.

***** Eddie looked rather like a splotchy lobster lying there in the sun. His pale skin had turned a rather unattractive shade of crimson. Russell sat on the beach near the ocean, gathering the sand between his fingers and watching it sift away. Eddie had acted like he was on top of the world lately, playing the benevolent master and learned sage. Russell had gathered up all the tidbits of information that Eddie had been jealously doling out to him and tried to make sense of it. When he wasn’t around, he tried out his powers alone. He knew more now than Eddie did about his own capabilities. He had powers that were just a little bit more than frightening, powers that he wasn’t sure what to do with. And through all of it, the fear of discovering what he now was, the anticipation of that one moment when he would finally pay Eddie back for all the misery he had caused him, he never once stopped thinking about Gray. He wasn’t sure how Gray would fit into his life once he rid himself of Eddie, or if he would fit at all. First of all, Gray would have to forgive him for all the pain, and secondly, he’d have to believe him when he told him everything, and he so wanted to tell him the whole sordid mess. He didn’t even want to think about what he had become or was becoming. He leaned back on his hands in the sun, his dark hair, now grown longer, fell across his broad, tanned back. “It seems that shadow on your jaw has grown even darker and more mysterious since the change,” Eddie said suddenly, causing Russ to open his eyes and look at him through his

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dark sunglasses. “You look so sexy sitting there with those white trunks on. Half the people on the beach would love to fuck you.” “I know,” he said softly. “I can read their thoughts, remember?” “Can you read mine?” Eddie reached down and touched his hair. Yes, he could read them. The transformation had allowed him to take a trip inside Eddie’s demented mind and it wasn’t a pleasant voyage. Right now Eddie was thinking about his own cock. He wanted Russ to take it into his mouth. “You’re right,” he said. “You win the prize. Did you see yourself bound and gagged?” “If you want me to suck your cock, you’ll have to forget about the gag,” Russell said, without expression. “True.” “So, what’s the prize?” Russ stood up, towering over Eddie. Eddie began walking across the beach. Russell followed him. “You get to collect your first soul on my behalf. The beast is restless again, although I have given him something.” Russ met Eddie’s gaze. He took a deep breath. “Paul.” “Yes,” he said. Suddenly, he was struck by a vision of Paul. He was lying naked on a bed in a rundown hotel room, a needle sticking out of his arm. “He wasn’t a heroin user,” Russ said, grabbing Eddie’s arm. Eddie glanced at him, and Russ removed his hand. He didn’t want to give him the impression yet that he was the stronger of the two. “Don’t act like you care, Russell. You hated him. He was banging Gray.” “He was a human being,” Russell protested. “He didn’t deserve to die like that.” “Get rid of that human sentiment, Russ. You’re not human anymore.” “I’m not a monster.” He shrugged. “That remains to be seen. Now, get into the car. I want to go back to the hotel and fuck you, then we’re going to dandy all up and you’re going to use that charm of yours and get me a soul.”

***** Eddie ran his hands over the smooth, muscular curves of Russell’s biceps. “Christ, if you weren’t drop-dead gorgeous before you transformed. You’re enough to make a grown man cry now.” He straddled Russell’s waist and took both nipples between his fingers. He pinched them and twisted, watching Russ’s face. He lapped his tongue across one of the delicious brown nubs and moaned, clutching Russ’s dick with his hand. “You are so fucking beautiful, and you’re mine.” He nibbled on his nipples and pulled his dick hard. Russell moaned, his eyes closed; a tongue moved sensuously over his lips. Eddie had tied his hands

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over his head and he looked so sluttish like that. His body was harder and even more muscular since he’d become a demon, and his sexual hunger was fierce, almost feral, but he was obedient and he seemed to enjoy being dominated now. He didn’t fight him like before. “I swear you’ve become more docile.” Eddie moved down to Russ’s cock and raked his nails across the head. He sat back, smiled. “Move your hips, I want you to entice me with your cock, make me want to fuck you, Russell. Come on, baby. You will need those seductive powers tonight when you snag me a soul.” Russell didn’t really feel Eddie’s hands on his body anymore because now he could go off in his mind, shut off every sensation. He could conjure up anything or anyone and make it feel real. It was Gray who ran his tongue across his nipples now, swirling it around, lapping, nibbling each one, and…um…it felt good. His cock was so hard and Gray wanted it so badly. He moved his hips enticingly and Gray smiled down at him. “Fuck me,” he urged. “Go on, fuck me.” Eddie felt something he hadn’t felt before, happiness. Russell made him happy, especially since he actually seemed to want him lately. “Tell me you love me, Russ,” he urged, lifting his legs, fucking his ass with a well-oiled finger. “Tell me.” “I love you,” Russell moaned. “I’ve always loved you, and I will go on loving you until my last breath.” “Oh Russ,” Eddie gushed, thrusting into him with his cock. “He’s mine now, Gray,” he shouted, banging him hard until he came with a shout of joy. Russell came quietly, whimpering softly into the pillow. “I love you, baby,” Gray said, and Russell smiled. “That was sensational.” Eddie pounded on his chest as if he were Tarzan, shocking Russ back to reality. Russell watched him prance around naked, thinking how he hated the sight of him. “Wasn’t that something?” He looked over at him, standing at the patio door of their hotel room in Miami. “Yeah,” Russ said, “something.” “Get me a drink, will you?” “Sure,” Russell said, easily breaking the ties around his wrist with only a thought. He got off the bed and walked over to the minibar. The time was coming soon. He had just about gotten everything he needed from Eddie, and he was getting used to his own skin, his own powers. He could taste the moment now. He actually smiled when he handed Eddie his usual gin and tonic. “I should take a shower.” Eddie raked him with his gaze. “Go ahead. I’ll come and soap you all over. I can’t get enough of touching you, baby.”

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Russell shrugged. “Whatever,” he said. Enjoy, he thought, because it was going to be the last time that dirty little creep would ever touch him.

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Chapter Twelve Gray had wanted to call the newly formed band Defeat, because it was the antithesis to survival. That was met by heavy protest by the other band members. They settled on the name Surrender. “Okay,” Gray complied, “Surrender it is, but I prefer Defeat.” Things were going quite well, actually. They had played a few clubs. There had been several talent agents showing up here and there. Rodney was certain that it was only a matter of time. Gray didn’t seem to care enough anymore. He didn’t feel the disappointments the other guys did when they were sure some big scout was in the crowd, only to find out it wasn’t the case. Cody was a good guitarist, and rather cute. And he made it quite plain to Gray that he was interested. Gray was tempted, but not enough. Every time he even thought of getting closer to Cody, an image of Russell came into his head. “I’m in love with someone else,” Gray told Cody one night when Cody was making it obvious what he wanted, “and I don’t see myself getting over him soon.” “Who was he?” Cody asked. “Russell Thompson. He was actually one of the original members of Survival. We started that band together and --” “I’m sorry. He was a real jerk to let you go.” Gray smiled. “You’re good for my ego.” “I’m not going to give up on you,” Cody said. Gray smiled at him, just about to reply, when his cell phone rang. It was Rodney. “Gray, where are you?” “I’m still at the club having a drink with Cody. Why?”

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“You’d better come home. Something’s happened.” “Is it bad?” “Yes.” “Russell? Is Russell all right? Nothing’s happened to…?” “No. It’s Paul.” “Paul.” “I’ll tell you when you come home.” “No, tell me now.” “They found him dead in a hotel room.” “What happened?” “Heroin overdose, but I don’t…Paul didn’t use…a little pot, but…” Gray closed his eyes. “It seems that anyone who gets close to Eddie dies.” “Don’t forget that Russell is with that bastard, Gray,” Rodney said. “I’ll be home in a few minutes,” Gray replied, and hung up.

***** Eddie watched Russell from where he sat at the bar in the upscale gay club in South Beach. He was dressed in a white suit with a light blue shirt underneath. He looked like a sleek leopard on the prowl, his dark eyes sultry and bright. He had gotten more than a few offers to shed those clothes since they’d walked in, but he was looking for someone special, of course, someone who was obsessed with dark desires, obsessed enough to trade his soul. He was a formidable student. He had learned how to spot his prey well, and the animal magnetism he projected even made Eddie heady with desire. Russell let the seductive beat of the song that was playing distract him a little. He was in no hurry to choose some poor soul for Eddie to use as payment for his debts, although he’d already seen several that might have sufficed. What he’d discovered about human nature since his transformation had not been pretty. The dark thoughts of people around him were frightening, not to mention Eddie, who was as close to evil as one could possibly come. He’d seen the beast himself. Russell thought a lot about those demons he’d seen in Border World. It had deeply affected him, and he decided he’d come as close to that stuff as he wanted to. Russell moved through the crowd, brushing shoulders with desperate men looking for someone to take them home. When he saw the poor pathetic creature sitting in the corner of the room looking like he wanted to fade into the wall, he knew he was the one. He was tall and bony, and not more than twenty. He was a rich boy, and every bit of action he’d gotten, he’d paid dearly for. He wanted to be dominated sexually, but he was too scared to go to S&M bars. Russell walked over and pulled out a chair. “May I sit down?” he asked.

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The young man’s eyes widened. “Ah, yeah…sure. Go ahead. You want a drink?” He sat up straight, fiddled with his hair. Russell felt a wave of sympathy for him. “I just had one.” He met his gaze, smiled. “What do you want, Dale?” “How did you know my name?” “I know everything about you. You want me.” Russell saw him swallow. “Who wouldn’t?” “Well, then, let’s not waste any more time.” He stood up. “My room isn’t far from here.” “We can take my car.” “Okay,” Russell said. He looked over at Eddie and nodded. Eddie raised his glass.

***** Gray spent half the night talking to Paul’s mother on the phone. He felt horrible when he put the phone down. “I’m going back to Chicago for the funeral. She wants me to be there.” “We should all be there,” Rodney said. “Maybe it was the accident,” Ivan said. “Things like that can do crazy things to your head. Maybe he was in a lot of pain, and he needed the drugs to kill it. You know?” Rodney nodded. Gray shook his head. “It was Eddie. Eddie killed Paul, just like he killed Johnny.” “Gray, Johnny died in a --” “I don’t know how he did it” -- Gray held up his hand -- “but I tell you, he had something to do with both their deaths.” Rodney and Ivan didn’t believe him, but it didn’t matter. Gray knew it, and he hoped that Russell was all right. He knew Russell was with Eddie, but he was no murderer; that he knew for sure.

***** Russ took off his jacket and told Dale to sit on the edge of the bed. He could feel Dale’s gaze on him, feel his desire. He sat down next to him. He heard Dale’s mind screaming…yes…yes…yes…and Russell smiled at him. He took his hands in his. “What is it you want, Dale, really?” “I-I don’t know. Right now?” “Oh, I know what you want right now.” Russ smiled. He blushed.

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“I mean overall, what do you want?” “I want…someone…someone like you. Hell, I mean all us guys would want someone like you. You really want me, or is this a joke?” Russ felt his pain. “What if I could give you everything? What would you be willing to give in return? Look into my eyes, let me show you.” Russ allowed his mind to conjure up Dale’s fantasies. He strung Dale up, stripped off his clothes, sexually tormented and teased him, made him get on his knees, and beg for his touch. Dale was tearing at his clothes, moaning. Russell jumped up off the bed. He pushed the images away, a little frightened of his own power. Had he done that? Had he sexually aroused this guy to that point with just his thoughts? Had he been able to tap that deeply into his psyche? “I’ll give you anything, anything,” Dale whined. He went to his knees and crawled to Russ’s feet. He clutched his legs. “Please, anything, what do you want? What do you want?” “Would you give your…” and suddenly he stopped. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t condemn this poor fuck to…no. “Get up!” Russ told him, grabbing him and dragging him to his feet. “Get out, go -- go while you still can.” He pushed him toward the door. “Go!” “But you promised me --” “I promised you nothing.” Russell turned Dale around to face him. He allowed the light to come into his eyes. “See me,” he growled, “and go.” Dale gasped. “Jesus, what are you?” He backed up to the door. “You’re a…you’re not human. You’re a…” He blindly felt for the door handle, still staring at him. He finally got the door opened and made his escape. Russell watched him from the window as he ran back to his expensive automobile. When Russ turned around again, Eddie was there. He stood leaning against the closed door. “That one was so easy and yet you let him slip away. You will be punished for this.” Russell smiled. It was time. How many nights had he lain awake reliving this moment over and over in his mind? And now, here it was. “You better get the whip then, Eddie.” “Don’t you get smart with me, Russell. I don’t like your attitude. Change it.” Eddie stalked across the floor. “And if I don’t?” Russell kept the smile plastered to his lips. “I’ll whip the skin off your back.” Eddie met his gaze. “I’ll demand that the next soul you take be that limp-dicked little ex-boyfriend of yours. How’s that for punishment? I bet you won’t defy me again.” “Oh that’s good, Eddie.” Russell took a step towards him. “That’s very good. Why don’t you come over here and try to use that whip you’re so fond of?” Eddie took a step. Russell pierced him with his gaze. Eddie couldn’t move. He tried again, but his feet were frozen to the spot. “What the fuck? Why can’t I…?” He closed his

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eyes, concentrating, and tried to move forward again. This time Russell let him take one step, then stopped him again. “Stop this, Russ.” “I’m no longer your slave, Eddie. Actually, I can do anything I want to you and believe me, I plan to destroy you.” He was amazed at how calm his voice was, but yet he knew by the way Eddie was looking at him that his eyes were bright white lights. “Please, Russ, we can work this out.” “Afraid not, Eddie,” Russell said. “You tricked me. You enslaved me and abused me. And you took the only thing that mattered away from me after I’d found him again. You threatened to hurt Gray, and I’ve had to do your bidding to protect him from you. I have had to tolerate your dirty, slimy hands on me and your repulsive body and cock and…” He stopped. The words were coming too fast. “I’m not even human anymore, thanks to you.” “I gave you a gift. I…I don’t understand how this is happening.” He tried to move again, and then cried out with frustration. “I’ll call on the powers. I’ll call on the beast. I’ll --” “Nothing can save you, Eddie.” Russell came closer, studying him closely. “I’m going to put you where no one can hear your screams. You’re going to die slowly, very slowly.” “No, please, Russell…Russell!”

***** He had chosen the place some time ago, a room deep underground, designed to be a bomb shelter, far out in a field. Russell placed a hand on Eddie’s arm, and conjured up the place up in his mind. Suddenly they were there. “These places were very popular in the ’50s, I hear,” Russell said with some satisfaction. Eddie was cowering in the corner. “I believe this one masqueraded as a wine cellar.” “What are you…going…to do to me, Russell? I’ve always loved you. I’ve always taken care of you and --” “Even the devil couldn’t hear you down here, Eddie, and even if he could, I doubt he’d save you. After all, your soul is probably worth fifty of the ones you bring him, wouldn’t you think?” “Don’t, please, Russ…please.” He went down on his knees. “Don’t be pathetic,” Russell told him, urging Eddie to rise off the floor with the power of his mind. “What’s that old saying…some men are worth more dead than alive!” Eddie was lifting slowly to the ceiling, fighting Russell every step of the way. Russell didn’t have to strain at all. Mallory was right. He was way stronger than Eddie. “Now, strong shackles reinforced with the power of my hatred for you. It will hold you up there for eternity.” Suddenly, Eddie’s wrists were caught in chains. Russell glanced up at him. “Bye,

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Eddie. May flights of devils bring you to your death, and may you feel every little bit of pain you inflicted on me and others around you.” “Russell,” he cried out, “I love you. Don’t leave me here. Please…please.” Russell tuned out Eddie’s pleas. He strolled across the field, away from the old abandoned farm house that sat in the distance. The stars were very bright in the night sky and he looked up at them for the longest time. If he could have wished for anything, he would have wished for Gray to be there beside him. He sighed and decided to settle for a bottle of whiskey instead.

***** He was drunk for two days and when he finally began to sober up, he couldn’t believe the guilt he felt. It didn’t make any sense. He had nothing to be guilty about. Eddie had deserved this. He sat looking at the television, trying to put Eddie out of his mind. A news report came on and talked about Paul’s death. Paul’s funeral would be held tomorrow back in Chicago. Gray would be there. Russell crawled off the sofa and got into the shower. He changed his clothes and stood in the middle of the floor for a long time before he made his decision. Suddenly he was back in that room with Eddie. “You’ve come back for me,” Eddie cried out weakly. “Thank God. Russell, I knew you would. I knew you wouldn’t leave me here to die like this.” Russell said nothing for a long time. He gazed up at him. Finally, he said, “Do you know why I never talked to you in high school?” “Yes,” Eddie said with a sneer, “because I wasn’t cute and I didn’t have a tight little ass.” “No, that wasn’t it. It was because the first time I saw you, I knew you were an evil little fuck. I just sensed it somehow. You grossed me out then and I couldn’t have even imagined what you were capable of.” Russell lowered his head and Eddie fell heavily to the ground, the shackles flying off of him. “Fine, you’ve had your little speech” -- he stood up, brushing himself off -- “now let’s get the hell out of here. I might even be inclined to overlook this little --” “We’re not leaving together, Eddie. I can’t in good conscience let you out of here to prey upon the innocent souls of this Earth. And I made a promise.” Eddie narrowed his eyes. “What promise?” “I promised Mallory I’d send you back to him to pay your debt.” Eddie laughed. “I don’t owe him anything.” “But you do,” Russell said. “You asked him to transform me. He did that. It wasn’t free.”

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Eddie’s face darkened. “You can’t expect me to pay for something…that… You betrayed me. You used this power against me and now you expect me to pay for it?” “Everything has a price, Eddie. You said that yourself. So off you go. And give Mallory my regards.” He didn’t like having to picture Border World in his mind, but for this, it was worth it. He closed his eyes and saw the fog, the succubus which made him shudder. And then there was Mallory walking towards him. He smiled at Russell and inclined his head in acknowledgment. He was waiting for him. Suddenly Eddie cried out. “Nooooooooooo!” Russell opened his eyes. All that was left were the shackles on the floor.

***** Gray was feeling profound sadness as he walked away from the place where Paul’s body was being lowered into the ground. He was also confused. How could this have happened? Nothing seemed to make sense anymore. He had said good-bye to Paul’s family and was on his way back to the rental car when suddenly Russell stepped out from behind a tree at the cemetery. He thought he was seeing things, but no, there he was, standing right in front of him. With his emotions already in a wringer, Russell’s sudden appearance was more than he could endure. He broke down and started to cry. When Russell reached out to him, he turned and ran. When he finally slowed down and began to walk in between the rows of tombstones, Russell was walking silently beside him. Gray wiped hastily at his tears. He came to a dead stop and looked him directly in the eye. “What do you want? What are you doing here, Russell?” “I came to pay my respects.” “You hated Paul.” “That’s not fair. I didn’t hate him. I might have been jealous of him, but I never hated him.” Gray gave him a hostile look. “Where’s Eddie?” “Gone.” “What do you mean by gone?” “I took care of Eddie.” Gray searched his face. “What? What did you do? Russell, you didn’t --” “No, I didn’t kill him if that’s what you mean, but he won’t hurt anyone anymore, at least for awhile. He’s paying a debt.” “You mean he’s in jail?” “Kind of.” “Were you involved with Paul’s death too?”

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“Of course not, and technically, Eddie didn’t kill Paul.” “You’re defending him.” “No, I’m not defending him, but it’s complicated.” Gray started walking again, shaking his head. Russ was at his heels. “I didn’t mean any of those things I said the last time we saw each other. I had to say them or Eddie would have… He was very jealous of you.” “I don’t see why he should have been.” “It’s simple” -- Russell pulled him around and looked into his eyes -- “I love you. He knew that. He knew there was nothing he could do to change that. He was looking for any excuse to hurt you.” “I can’t…” Gray pleaded. “I can’t do this again, Russell, listen to this…” Russell released his arm. “Bullshit? You can’t listen to any more bullshit? It doesn’t matter. I tried to explain it, but I don’t expect you to…just… Anyway, I’ve been trying to see a way for us to be together and I don’t…I mean I don’t even know what to do with all this.” He threw up his hands. Russell wasn’t really making any sense. “What are you talking about?” Gray looked at him. After a few seconds, he noticed there was something different about Russell, but he wasn’t quite sure what it was. He was beautiful; he’d always been beautiful, but…now, even more so, his eyes brighter, his hair shinier, thicker. He seemed stronger, more muscular. There was something about those eyes. “Yes, you’re right about the eyes. I’ve changed, but don’t be afraid. I won’t hurt you.” Gray gasped. “I didn’t say that out loud. Did you just read my thoughts?” He nodded. “Russell? What in hell is going on?” “Can I hold you? Oh, Gray, please,” he begged. “I really need to feel you. I’m scared.” Gray blinked at him in confusion, but his arms opened. Russell went into them. Gray held him close, listening to his heartbeat, his own hammering in his chest. “You still want me. That’s good.” Russell backed away, smiled at him. “Can we go somewhere…be alone?” “The guys are waiting for me in the car, but I can…” Gray stopped. “Your eyes are… Russell…they’re glowing.” Russell looked away from him. “I’ll tell you everything, I promise. I’ll meet you wherever you say.” Gray told him the name of his hotel and the room number. “I can take you in the car now.” “No, I’ll get there on my own. Don’t tell the other guys I’m here just yet, okay?” “Okay…half hour?”

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Russell nodded and walked away. Gray stood there for a moment, a little stunned. Eventually he made his way back to the car as if he were half awake. He’d just seen Russell, and there was something weird about him. He couldn’t stop thinking about his eyes, and the fact that Russell had read his thoughts, and that soon Russell would be in his hotel room, and once he was there…well, he knew what would happen. Could he do it again? How could he not, when he loved him .so much? Maybe it would only be for the night and he’d have to live the heartache all over. God, it felt as if his heart was already torn to threads.

***** Russell knew this would be the moment of truth. He would tell Gray everything, let the chips fall where they may, and either be rewarded with Gray’s love or lose everything. He didn’t quite know his own nature yet. He wasn’t even sure of what he was, or if he could still love. All he knew was that when Gray walked towards him in the cemetery, his heart ached and he felt like crying with relief. As soon as Russell walked into Gray’s hotel room, Gray put some distance between them. Russell smiled at him, sensing his unease. He couldn’t blame him. “Hi.” “Hello,” Gray said. “I need you to hear me out.” “I’m listening.” “Are you prepared to be open-minded?” “Yes.” “Do you still love me? I think I felt it back there, but I need to hear you say it.” “God help me, yes, I still love you.” “Good. I want to tell you about the night Eddie came to me. It was the night Survival made their debut in Chicago.” “Yes, I remember that night.” “I was at my lowest. He knew that. My thoughts weren’t clear. I was drunk and defeated. I’d lost everything, my career, you.” “That night didn’t turn out to be what I expected, either. I remember thinking about how this was supposed to be the happiest night of my life. You and I had talked so much about it” -- Gray shook his head -- “and all I could think about was you, and how you weren’t there with me.” “We let so much time go by, and it was for nothing.” Russell shook his head. “We were both too proud to --” “I was too proud,” Gray interjected.

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“I shouldn’t have taken no for an answer when you refused to take my calls after the night of that party. I should have come to the house, broken down the door, done anything to get you to listen to me, to make you believe how much I loved you.” “You didn’t want to tell me what Johnny did. You thought it would hurt me.” “And it did anyway.” “Yes, he was a father to me, but losing you hurt more, Russell.” He took a breath. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter anymore. We’ve already been through all that. We were young; we didn’t realise how precious our love was.” “Sometimes you have to lose it to appreciate it.” Gray closed his eyes for a second. “Tell me about Eddie now.” “Eddie told me he could fix my life. He promised to give me back everything I’d lost. I signed a contract with Flash Music, but there were things in that contract I didn’t even…he tricked me. He made me his slave. He threatened you when I tried to defy him. Eddie had special abilities. He had made a…I know you’ll find this hard to believe, but…he got his powers from evil sources.” Gray stared at him. “Russell, your eyes, oh my…you have these powers too…what evil sources?” “I’m not like Eddie. I couldn’t do the things he’s done. Just hear me out, and after if you want me to leave, I’ll go.” “Okay.” “You don’t believe I could ever hurt you, do you?” “No.” Russell sat down on the edge of the bed, and told him everything. He talked about the manipulation, the abuse, the soul taking, and finally, Border World, and the things he’d experienced there. Silent tears streamed down Gray’s face as he listened. “So you see,” Russell said, “I’m not sure where I go from here. I don’t owe anyone anything. I’m now free from Eddie, and I’ve never felt stronger in my life, but I hardly sleep. I can hear everyone’s thoughts. I can feel their pain, clearly see their deepest desires. What do I do with all this? What dark entities are going to come out of the shadows?” He lowered his head, closed his eyes. He felt drained, astonished at his own words. Gray was beside him now. He touched his hair. Russell looked up into those familiar eyes. He felt safe suddenly. “If I could take all your pain away,” Gray said, “I would. I’d take it into me just to relieve you of it.” He smiled faintly. “You do believe me.” He nodded.

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Russell stood up, and took Gray into his arms. “Let’s not talk anymore,” he pleaded, meeting his gaze. He lowered his head and kissed him. Gray let out a whimper against his lips, his hands reaching for his coat and pushing it off his shoulders. Russ separated himself for a moment, and pulled off his T-shirt. Gray stood there watching him, the flame of desire in his eyes. Russell unbuttoned Gray’s shirt, spread it open with his hands, kissed his chest, placed his hands on his ass and yanked him closer. Gray buried his hands in Russell’s hair, pressed his lips against his forehead, his entire body shaking as Russell undid his pants and pushed them down over Gray’s hips. Gray leaned down, took off his shoes and socks, kicked the pants away while Russell took off his own pants and went to lie down on the bed. Russell opened his arms. Gray sank down into those arms, laying his head on his chest, letting his hand move over Russ’s stomach and almost reverently stroking his cock. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. Russ had closed his eyes, savouring the sensation of having Gray in his arms again. “You’re beautiful,” he replied. “Your love is so precious to me, Gray. I’m not really living when I don’t have you.” Gray’s response was to crawl on top of him and kiss his neck, palm his nipples, move his lips down his stomach, and trail his tongue along the length of his cock. There were images in his mind, images that he pushed away. This demon blood…this wicked part of his soul which gave him desires he’d only tasted with Eddie, taunted him. He pushed them away, concentrated on what Gray was doing to his cock. His tongue and his lips devoured him with passion and love. Love. This was love. He was so afraid to lose sight of that, turn into some kind of a monster. “Gray,” he moaned as Gray cupped his balls, massaged them, sucked them into his mouth. “Um, yes, yes.” It was good. The images went away and were replaced by warmth and comfort and that aching need that no one could fill like Gray. He sat up, propelled Gray back off of him. “I want to fuck you. Please,” he groaned. Gray smiled. “The lube and condoms are in that drawer.” He looked to the table beside the bed on the left. “Trust me. We don’t need any of that. I’m going to take you,” he said, getting off the bed and pulling Gray with him, “to another plane.” “Russ, what are you…” Russell pulled him onto the floor. He pushed him down on his back. “Close your eyes. I don’t want you to think, just feel, just want. I’ll give you everything you need.” “Russ,” Gray protested, trying to sit back up, “what…” Russ pushed him back down. “Relax. Close your eyes, baby. Trust me.” The sensation started at the top of Gray’s head and spread to the tips of his toes. Russell’s hands, his mouth, his lips, were doing things to his body that brought every nerve alive. Every thought, every desire was fulfilled before he even finished imagining it. His cock was so hard, it felt as if it was on the verge of exploding but yet, it didn’t. It stayed hard, throbbing, the tension building and building. He screamed, he cried, he pleaded and he

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knew when Russell pulled him up on all fours that the orgasm that was looming tantalisingly before him would be like none other. Russell treated him so callously, so rough, like a whore he’d picked up on the street, and it was turning him on like crazy. He’d noticed a difference in Russell’s lovemaking, even from the last time they’d been together. It was so rough, so raunchy, and yet so thrilling. Russell grabbed his hair and yanked his head back. He seared his lips along his throat and began to fuck his ass with his fingers, two, then three, so deep, so invasive. When his cock took over, an electrifying warmth spread over Gray, his hips working in compliance with Russell’s insistent demands. He was his completely; his body a mere instrument to Russell’s pleasure, and it was rocking his world. Russell’s hand covered his throat; he turned his head toward Russell, who bent in to rub his lips against his, stabbed his tongue into his mouth. He took a breath when he saw his eyes, bright, glowing, as if there was actually a flame igniting behind them. He was suddenly pressed to the floor, Russell’s arm under his waist, ass up, cock driving into him. He moaned deeply, thrashed, cried out something as Russell’s hand reached around and began to seriously masturbate him. His entire body jerked and then he felt Russell’s semen flood into him and his own punch out of his cock in simultaneous streams. He slammed his fist into the carpet and cried out, “Awwwww Gawwwddd…holy…ummmmm!” He collapsed on the floor, his entire body feeling as if it were floating somewhere else. “What in hell…what in hell was that?” “That was me loving you,” Russell murmured, settling down beside him. An arm came around Gray and pulled him close. Gray felt Russell’s lips caress his shoulder. “Was it good, baby?” “Good?” Gray lifted his head, breathless. He looked at him. “Russell, that was indescribable.” Russell kissed his lips. He smiled. “I want to make you happy. I want to turn you on.” “Yeah, well” -- Gray laughed, a little giddy -- “you did that, all right.” “I feel this incredible power. It’s like magic, a little scary but exhilarating, you know?” “I’m beginning to.” They lay there together for the longest time, cuddling, kissing, talking about things they did back in high school. Gray eventually dozed off at one point, then awoke to see Russell lying beside him, just looking at him. “Did you sleep?” he asked. “No. I was watching you.” “That must have been a thrill,” he drawled. “Baby, don’t you sleep?” “Not a lot.” “I’m stiff,” Gray said with a grin, “and not in a good way.” Russell laughed. “I can take care of that.” “Down, boy” -- he pushed his hands away -- “I got to get off this floor, take a shower. It’s morning.”

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Russell nodded. “I know. Go ahead. I’ll miss you.” “Come join me.” “I will in a minute.” Russell watched Gray disappear into the bathroom with a deep sense of contentment. He got to his feet and was just about to join him in the shower when he froze. A voice spoke to him in his head. “Yes, I’m near. Open the door.” Russell heard Gray turn on the shower. He waited. “Who are you?”

“I won’t hurt you, Russell. Gray is safe. Open the door, so that I may speak to you.” Russell pulled on his pants and then went to the door. He hesitated, then opened it a crack. A man stood there, not much older than himself. He had a mane of golden hair and bright blue eyes. His face was round and appealing. “Hello, Russell,” he said. “My name is Carden.” “How do you know me?” “We all know you. Are you going to invite me in?” “That depends. Are you are a demon?” “No.” Russell ran his gaze over the long black coat he wore. “A little overdressed for summer, aren’t you?” “I mind the cold. May I?” He swept his hand out. Russell stood back, opened the door wider. “Look,” he said after the young man stepped inside, “Gray is in the shower and --” “That’s okay. I won’t take up much of your time. You can discuss it with Gray later.” “Discuss what?” He closed the door behind him. “After what we’ve seen, we think you may be useful to us.” “Useful? And who are…we?” He grinned, his eyes twinkling. “The other side.” “The other side of what?” He laughed out loud. Russell looked towards the bathroom door. “They were right. You’re very cute.” “Just say what you came here to say.” “You chose not to destroy Eddie, although you could have. You certainly had cause. But you spared him, in spite of what you are, just like you spared that poor young guy at that

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bar in Miami. You’re a demon, Russell, and you will have to fight your nature continually. Gray will help you with that, keep you in touch with your humanity.” Russell narrowed his eyes. “I don’t understand.” “It’s simple. You couldn’t leave Eddie to die; you felt guilty. You’re not a killer. And still, you had concern for humanity because you didn’t unleash him on the world, either. You sent him to Mallory, and that’s exactly where he belongs. You have good instincts.” “You know Mallory?” “Yes. He serves his purpose. Sometimes we can’t do the job, Russell. We need you guys, call it a…necessary evil.” He laughed again. “Get it…necessary evil?” “Yeah, I get it. So…you want me to work for you?” “Yes. It will be the first time we recruit an actual demon, but you have potential. You will be our liaison, help us with the hunt. They will be naturally attracted to you. They won’t suspect you’re working for us.” “And what do I get out of all this?” Carden met his gaze. He placed a hand on his shoulder. “You get exactly what you need -- a reason to go on, a justification for your existence.” Russell swallowed. Those words resonated in his gut. “It’s either them or us, and you don’t have it in you to go over to the dark side, especially if you want to be with Gray. So, what do you say?” “And what about Gray? Won’t this be dangerous for him? How can we be together?” “Love will find a way. You need him. That love will save you from yourself, Russell.” Gray looked surprised to see the man in the long coat standing in the bedroom with Russell. He secured the towel he had hitched around his slim hips, and nodded at him. “Hi, I didn’t know we had company.” “I’m Carden.” The man stepped forward, offering his hand. Gray took his hand, held it in his. Russell noticed that Gray didn’t seem to want to let Carden’s hand go. “Who are you?” “I think you know.” He smiled at him. Gray looked at Russell, then back at Carden. “Yes, I know. You’ve come to save him. Thank you.” He smiled. “Can I have my hand back?” Gray released it. “I’m sorry.” Carden smiled. “We need Russell to help us, but he won’t do it without you. He needs you to keep him connected to his humanity, to his heart.” Gray nodded. “I’m not going anywhere.”

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Carden walked to the door. “I didn’t think so. I’ll be in touch, Russell,” he said. Russell looked over at Gray, astonished. “You knew what he was?” “Yes.” Gray nodded. “I could feel it for some reason. He’s not like me, but he’s not like you, either. When I took his hand, I felt such peace. He needs you, doesn’t he?” “I guess.” Gray wrapped his arms around him. Russell stroked his damp hair, kissed his forehead. “I need you too.” Russell smiled. “And it looks like I have a higher calling.” “Yes.” Russell grinned. “You have to keep the beast at bay.” Gray looked up at him, traced Russ’s lips with his finger. “I can do that, but could you do me a favour?” “What’s that?” “Can we let it out once in awhile…ah…especially in the bedroom?” Russell nodded, and then he started to laugh. “Oh, and I have an ending for our song.” “Really? Sing it to me.” Gray began to sing. “If my life ended tomorrow, I would want to be with you…in your arms…in your eyes. If the world ended tomorrow, I would be with you…see my life reflected in your eyes, bury myself in your arms and feel safe when the world tumbles down around me. Touch me and take me there…fly me on your angel wings, and make me secure in your love. Only you can save me and I’ll be yours forever.” “It’s beautiful,” Russell said. “Yes, but I’m not sure about the angel wings.” Gray smirked, wrapping his arms around Russell’s neck. “Um” -- Russell kissed his mouth -- “we might have to work on that part.”

D. J. Manly D. J. writes for the pure love of writing, and always with the reader in mind. If D. J. doesn't enjoy reading it, it won't be written. There is nothing quite as exciting as beautiful men falling in love, and "the boys," get themselves into some pretty sticky situations!!! Come taste a piece of D. J. Manly's work, but be careful, you may become as addicted to reading it, as D. J. is to writing it. D. J. Manly is the author of the Eternal Souls series, (Vampire Lust, Beloved Foe, and Wanton Renegade), Brennus' Witch, Christmas with Wistan, Dreaming of Brandon Archer, and The Initiator, part of the wonderful Sins and Virtues Series at Extasybooks. With D. J. Manly's male/male romance, you never know what “the boys” will be up to. You have only to come along for the ride. Be sure to visit D. J.’s website at djmanly.com or join the author’s Yahoogroup at [email protected] for free stories and special surprises for aspiring writers.