Sparkle and Shine (Spurs & Saddles)

Spurs and Saddles: Sparkle and Shine Copyright © 2007 by Julia Talbot All rights reserved. No part of this eBook may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. For information address Torquere Press, Inc., PO Box 2545, Round Rock, TX 78650. ISBN: 978-1-60370-191-4, 1-60370-191-5 Printed in the United States of America. Torquere Press electronic edition / November 2007 Torquere Press eBooks are published by Torquere Press Inc., PO Box 2545, Round Rock, TX 78650. www.torquerepress.com

Chapter 1 "Well, honey, I know you're busy, but it's Chay's birthday, and you didn't even call," Evan said, tucking the phone between his shoulder and ear so he could scrub out the cast iron skillet. "She cried herself to sleep." Not that Sandra would care about Chay's tears. No, sir, that woman hadn't thought about her eight year old daughter in maybe six years. Since she'd left, for sure, which had been five years. Goddamn it, how hard was it to call? Evan wasn't asking for the woman to send a present or nothin'. Sighing, he listened to Sandra bitch about her schedule and how she had National Finals coming up and how she wouldn't get to see Cheyenne for Christmas. Then Evan clunked the pan down on the stove and let her have it. "Fine. You just do your thing, like you always have. But I swear to God, the next time you come sweeping into her life with glitter and gifts and shit, I'll lock the door in your face." He slammed the phone down, too, the plastic cracking under the force of it, the sound echoing through the little trailer house. "You okay, buddy?" Brooks asked, coming in from the tiny front room, covered in pink glitter and silly string. The whole look made Evan laugh. "Yeah. Just… Sandra, you know?" "Ah." Brooks nodded sagely, blue eyes searching his for a moment. "Bitch not dead yet, huh?" "Brooks…" "Sorry." The man didn't look sorry a bit. The smile made Brooks' laugh lines come out, though, made that tanned face look less sharp angles and more relaxed. "You know how I feel on that." Evan knew. Hell, he'd been twenty-one the first time Brooks had said that Sandra was bad news, even with the sparkle and shine, and that she needed to be put down like a rabid dog. They'd fought like a couple of old tomcats that night, both bruised and battered and hurt deep down. Somehow it never surprised him that Brooks was the one still around. "Why'd you marry that woman, anyway?" Brooks asked, pulling the cooler out and taking it to the kitchen door to tump it out.

"Hormones." That was his standard answer. That or something about tits and ass. Sandra was a pretty woman, something that served her well as a barrel racer and rodeo queen. Honestly though, Evan had married Sandra because that's what broke-dick bronc riders did. They found a pretty girl with big hair and settled in and had kids. Wasn't Sandra's fault that Evan wasn't as good a rider as she was, and that he didn't sparkle like Hollywood. Wasn't her fault that he liked bulls rather than heifers, either. "Stop it," Brooks said, whapping his shoulder on the way by. "I can see you blamin' yourself. I know you got a good bit of the fault in her leaving, but it sure ain't your problem that she's about as maternal as a momma alligator. Lay ‘em and leave ‘em once they hatch." "Yeah. I know." Poor Chay was the one who got the raw deal. Six to eight months on the road, the offseason in a trailer house and a bunch of rodeo cowboys for company. "You going to your momma's for Christmas?" Brooks sounded a little wistful, that back carefully turned, Brooks' wide shoulders stiff as a board. Brooks' folks had died a few years back in a terrible storm, their whole tornado cellar collapsing in on them. The man had a bad case of nowhere to go. "Sure," Evan replied. "You want to come?" "Oh, I don't know. I got the finals…" Brooks had qualified in three events for the National Finals Rodeo the first week of December. With both bronc events and the bullriding under his belt, Brooks could go for all-around cowboy. "That ends near two weeks before Christmas. Say you'll come on. Momma and Pop would love to have you, and Chay would be tickled." Out of all of Evan's rodeo circuit buddies, Chay liked Brooks the best. The man was family, just a fixture in her young life. Lord knew there was little enough of that kind of steady love for the poor kid. "I appreciate it, Ev. I imagine I'll come on." Brooks' smiled that amazing smile over one shoulder, and Evan had to grin back, just like the fool he was. Whether it was his ex-wife or his best friend, he sure did seem to waste time pining over the wrong folks.

"Thanks for putting so much into Chay's party, by the way," Evan said, wiping out the cast iron and giving it a light coat of oil. "She sure did get a kick out of watching a bunch of bow-legged assholes try to hit that piñata." "Well, I got a charge out of that, too," Brooks said, hooting. "I tell you, I thought Cash Ralley was gonna take his brother's head off with that one swing." Handing a baseball bat to a pair of drunk twins? Never a good idea. "Well, she liked her presents and the cornbread and all, too." Chay was pretty easy to please. She'd gotten some Barbies and a little IPOD thingee and some new jeans. Evan figured he'd take her to get new boots in town when he went to his next event. "Good. She tuckered out a lot earlier than I thought she would, huh?" They moved around the tiny kitchen, brushing shoulders, and Evan was starting to get too damned warm for comfort. "She did. I'm gonna duck out and smoke." "Oh, that sounds good. Mind if I come with?" "Grab us both a beer and come on." The cool night air of November in New Mexico would ease his ache and his hot cheeks, for sure. The high desert could be warm enough during the day to have an eight year old's birthday party outside, and cold as a witch's tit at night. Bracing. Evan lit up, blowing smoke out his nose and watching the vast array of stars over his head twinkle, almost taunting him. That was a hell of a thought for a man who made his living off nature, huh? "You still thinking on Sandra, buddy?" Brooks asked, handing him a beer and settling on the bottom step, elbows on knees. "No. I mean, kinda, but mostly about Chay. I ought to settle. I ain't getting anywhere on the circuit, and she's getting too old for me to school her myself." "Shit, Ev! I need you around. Who else am I going to travel with?" Brooks stared at him, white-blond brows drawn down. "Well, I could send her to Momma part of the year." He hated to do it, mainly for him, but Chay adored his momma, and his mother loved her granddaughter to the point of distraction. "For the school year and all. I could still take her with me in the summer." They usually had plenty of time during the year for him and God knew who else to work on Chay's schoolwork with her. Hell, Sean Thimes had been a schoolteacher before he became

a clown, and he was good for English, History and Spanish. Still, Chay needed a place, needed some schooling and all… "That'd work. We'd all miss her, but she'd have a more solid place to call home when she's a teenager." Clapping him on the back, Brooks nodded like that was that, like it was just that easy. Too bad Evan figured nothing was ever that easy. *** Brooks whistled a little as he put Boo through his paces. He might be a rough stock rider, but he loved roping, and he practiced with his old gelding whenever he could. The roping pen outside Truth or Consequences had a pretty cheap fee, really, and he could ride and rope and just feel the movement of a solid horse under him. Pretty nice when what he usually rode was always trying to dump him off. "Faster, Brooks!" Grinning, Brooks waved at Cheyenne, who sat on a fence rail, her little pink cowboy boots just a'swinging. He sure did love that girl. She had her momma's golden hair, but her eyes, nose and stubborn chin were all Evan, and Evan was pretty much Brooks' everything. Not that Evan knew it. The man could be plumb stupid. "Faster!" "Honey, I'm trying to warm up, not race," Brooks hollered back, pulling Boo back into a trot from a lope. "Boo won't do me no good, I run him into the ground." Chay was all about speed. Brooks figured she was gonna be a barrel racer like her momma, which was both good and bad. 'Course, Chay had love in her heart, thanks to her daddy and her nana. That was the good about Sandra taking off. That solid gold bitch hadn't touched her daughter's heart. "I want to rope, Brooks! Can I try?" Laughing, he nodded over. "You let me put old Boo through his paces, and then we'll work it a little, okay?" "Okay!" Chay kicked some more, boots thumping on the fence rail. "I want to do mixed team roping. Goat roping is stupid."

Privately, Brooks thought that goat roping, which was an event where the girls raced up to a staked goat and tied him up, was insulting, so he sure was glad that Chay wanted to avoid it. "You'll be good at that, honey. You're like your daddy." "Uh-huh." Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Chay nibbling a thumbnail, a sure sign that the girl was thinking hard and about to ask a personal bomb of a question. "Why isn't Daddy winning anymore, Brooks? Just last year he did so good." "He's tired, honey. I think he needs a little time off. We're going to your nana's for Christmas. I bet that'll do him a world of good." "Oh, I like Nana's." Chay bounced, her little pigtails flying. "It's not my fault, right?" "Oh, honey." Pulling Boo up, Brooks nudged the gelding over to the fence, where the fool horse immediately started nibbling on Chay's jeans. "Your daddy loves you more than anything in the world. You know that." "I do." The simple confidence in that statement warmed him to the core. That little girl knew how much Evan loved her, and that meant all was right with the world. "Good," he said, nodding. Brooks slid to the ground, lifting Chay up on Boo. "Now come on and get some roping practice in, darlin'. Boo's ready for you." Chay smiled down at him, patting him on the shoulder a little, her stubby legs completely unable to hit the stirrups. "I love you, too, Brooks. You and Boo and Daddy and Nana and Pop-Pop." A lump filled his throat, but Brooks swallowed it down and got over it enough to say, "Same here, honey. Same here."

Chapter 2 Evan debated long and hard about going to the National Finals in Las Vegas with Brooks or going to his folks. Chay wanted to go see Brooks ride, for sure, and if they got her end of the section tests in, they'd be fine, time-wise. He just wasn't sure that he wanted to go to a party where he wasn't dancing. Sitting on the back stoop of his trailer, smoking a cigarette, and staring out over the Southern New Mexico landscape. T or C was like a bowl scooped out of the desert, running along the river, all brown with just hints of green here and there. With the sun going down, it looked a lot like the world was on fire. The clouds stayed just a little blue and silver around the edges, but they had a fiery center of red, orange and purple that made his eyes swim trying to see it all. Sometimes he needed to remember how much he loved his life, how much good there was. "Hey, buddy. Chay's watching that movie. You want a beer?" "Sure. Thanks." "So, you coming with me, partner?" Man, Brooks didn't waste any time, and he didn't pull any punches on the guilt factor, either. "I been thinking. I'm not sure I want to sit on the fence and watch, Brooks." "Uh-huh. I get that, buddy. I do. Doesn't change the fact that I need you there. I ain't been to a finals without you." "Now, Brooks, it ain't like you to pull the guilt card." Damn it, he had to do what was right for him and Chay, but he sure hated to leave Brooks high and dry. "I'm not." Brooks lit up a cigarette, offering him one and waiting until he fired it up to go on. "I just need you. Chay wants to go." "I know." Studying the lit end, Evan watched the smoke spiral out. "Just feeling old and useless, I imagine." "Buddy, I didn't make any events two years ago and you made two. It goes that way." Nudging him, Brooks gave him a searching look, blue eyes serious. "Is it because Sandra will be there? Vegas is a big town; she'll never have to see us."

"Partly, I guess…" Poor Chay. She wasn't expecting nothing but seeing some friends, watching Brooks and maybe Royce and his sister Katie ride… "We'll go. I'll call Momma and tell her." "Yeah?" Brooks whooped, tossing the smoke and snuffing it before coming to give him a back pounding hug. "Thanks, buddy! I need my good luck charm, huh?" "Uh-huh." The words were muffled by Brooks' shoulder, where Evan leaned, trying not to be obvious as he took in the scent of Old Spice and warm skin. "So much of a good luck charm that your last finals had you breaking an ankle." That had been why Brooks hadn't made it two years ago. He'd been wonky all year due to that stupid ankle. "Well, I didn't mind." One hand clapped his back, lingering a moment between his shoulder blades. Brooks stood so close that Evan could see his eyelashes, each one an individual spike of blond. "Now, we got to make some plans!" Some plans. Yeah, he needed to do that. Before he became any more of a washed up old rodeo rider with nothing to offer. He surely did. *** The last of the bags went into the horse trailer, one stall filled with Boo, the other with junk. Lord Almighty, between him and Boo's shit, and Evan and Chay's, they had a pile. He grinned at Chay, who fussed with her little pink backpack, taking out one stuffed toy to run it back to the house, bringing out a different one. "You about ready, darlin'?" "Uh-huh. Daddy's unhooking the kitchen." "Good. You get your stuff settled and go scratch Boo's nose." "Yessir!" Brooks wandered back into the little single wide house, hands in his pockets. "You need any help, Ev?" he asked, poking his head into the little galley kitchen, where Evan was unhooking the ice maker. Wasn't no sense in taking a chance on anything failing while they were gone, and they'd be off to Nana's after the rodeoing. "Nah. I got it. You could sit a minute, though." He got a glinting grin, Evan's dark green eyes twinkling at him. Thank Heaven, the man seemed in a much better mood than he had been all week.

"Sure." He turned a chair about and straddled it, folding his arms on the back. "Old man Ramirez coming over to check the place and all?" "Yeah, and I had the mail forwarded to Momma's." "Cool." Brooks admired the lean cut of Evan's jeans, the way the long legs seemed to go on and on until they attached to that fine, tight ass. "Brooks!" "Huh?" Oh, shit, had Evan been talking to him? "What?" "Hand me the needle-nose pliers, will you?" "Sure. Sorry." Their fingers touched when Evan took the pliers from him, making his breath catch. Damn. What had gotten into him? He wasn't usually so obvious. "You okay?" Evan asked, frowning a little as he loosened the last bolt. "Yeah. Just ready to hit the road, you know?" "I do! I was kinda dreading it, but, now it's here, I'm happy." Yeah, that smile said happy like nothing had in awhile, and Brooks was glad to see it. "Well, good deal…" He sat and watched and soon enough, Evan ran out of things to turn off and unplug. "You ready, buddy?" "I am. Let's go." Time they got outside, Chay was already curled up in the backseat of the king cab of his truck, sound asleep. Chuckling, the climbed into the truck, and Brooks took the first turn driving. They'd head up Twenty Five and hit Forty across to Vegas. "You figure on stopping in Holbrook?" Brooks asked. It was maybe twelve hours to Vegas with stops, but with an eight year old, they'd learned it was better to split it up into two days. "Seems likely enough. I doubt we'll make Flagstaff." Damned shame. Evan liked Flagstaff, Arizona, and Brooks liked to wander around with Ev and listen to the man tell stories and shit. "Well, if we have time we'll stop there for lunch tomorrow, huh?" "Oh, that would be cool. Too bad Black Bart's won't be open." Evan loved that silly steakhouse with a passion.

It was damned cute. 'Course the man would knock him slobbering for using the word cute. "We can hit Buster's. Your girl's got an unnatural love of fish anyway." Giving him a sideways smile, Evan whapped his leg. "I know. I think she gets it from someone not me." "You're more of a red meat man." That sounded dirty somehow. "I am. I admit it." The man probably had no idea, but Evan's fingers lingered on Brooks' thigh, stroking absently, and man, did that give him an extra leg to work around while he was driving. Lord. "So what are we taking Chay to see this year?" Last year they'd gone to see the lions at the MGM Grand, and the fountains at the Bellagio. Free shit, but it made that little girl's eyes light up. "I was thinking the light show down at Freemont Street." Sometimes it stuck him how they sounded like an old married couple. The thought made him grin, and he had to duck his head, watching the road with squinted eyes. The yellow and brown desert flew past, and the sky was so blue it hurt. It was a good day to be alive. "You doing all right?" Evan asked near two hours later, stretching and yawning. Which meant he moved his hand off Brooks' thigh, damn it. "I could stop. Chay's bound to wake up and want food, soon." "Yeah. I could do with a biscuit or something myself." "Cool. We're right on Albuquerque. I'll stop once we get through the worst." Evan nodded, humming along with the radio, low and sweet, and Brooks kept on driving, happy in his bones. Life surely was good. *** Flagstaff always made Evan smile. Maybe it was the snow. Hell, maybe it was reading about it in old Zane Grey novels and then actually going there. Walking down the street with Brooks, each of them holding one of Chay's mittened hands, well… That was a fine thing.

"Daddy, it's cold! My nose is going to freeze!" Chay looked so sweet, her pink snow hat framing her pretty face. She bounced, her little boots slipping along on the snow, and he and Brooks both laughed. Lord, Brooks looked fine. Evan just wanted to throw the man down and lick him all over. The thought set him to blinking, stopping him in his tracks. "Daddy? Are we going to have fish?" Chay had come to a screeching halt when he stopped. "Sure, baby. I just got a little sun blind." Damn, he had to stop thinking about shit like that when Chay was around. Sooner or later she'd notice some damned embarrassing things. "Well, stop dawdling, then. We need to get a move on, yeah?" Brooks tugged gently at Chay, who yanked at him. "Yeah, Daddy. Quit dawdling." "You watch it, girl." "Yessir." They took Chay to lunch, shopped a little, then headed on, making Vegas in plenty of time to check in at the hotel. They'd splurged a little, and stayed on the strip, right in the Excalibur. "Knights, Daddy! Like you and Brooks!" He'd never thought of himself much as a knight, for sure. If his baby girl thought so, though, he was happy. When they met up with Brooks' cousin Lorrie, who offered to take Chay for the night, though, Evan didn't say no. Brooks didn't have to ride for two more days, so they could have a beer-soaked night if they wanted, and that was rare enough that Evan grabbed the chance with both hands. "Come on, buddy," Brooks agreed, smiling hugely. "Let's go have a drink." Neither of them were as much about the night life as they'd been years ago, but they settled right in at the bar, both of them having a Coors Light and laughing at the bad music from the lounge band. Evan just watched Brooks, wanting to reach up and trace the smile lines around the man's mouth. He wanted to touch that tanned skin, wanted to do things that would frighten fish. Man, he shoulda known better than to get a little tipsy.

Brooks glanced over at him, blinking slow. "You okay, buddy?" "Huh? Yeah. I just… I ought to head back to the room." Three beers was his limit before he did something stupid. "Okay." Frowning, Brooks got up and rolled his shoulders, jerking his head. "Come on, then." That got his back up a little, that grumpy look. "You want to stay down here, you can. I can find my own way back." "Hey, I thought we were having fun, is all," Brooks snapped right back. "We were! Are. Whatever. I'm just getting stupid, and I don't need that." "Chay's not staying in the room tonight, man. You ain't got to worry." "It's not her I'm worried about!" Snapping his mouth shut, Evan pushed past Brooks, making his way out through the casino, the bells and whistles making him grit his teeth. Goddamn it, he couldn't keep his fool mouth shut for a minute. Brooks caught up with him at the elevator, not saying nothing as they went up. The man just stared at him, arms crossed over his chest, a muscle ticking away in his jaw. They got into the room, and Evan locked himself in the bathroom a moment, just hanging his head while he leaned on the vanity thing. Finally he looked right at himself in the mirror, sighing. "Asshole. Go apologize." After splashing some water on his face, he went ahead and wandered out into the room, all but swallowing his tongue to find Brooks standing there in nothing but a pair of boxer briefs. "What are you staring at?" Brooks snarled, flinging his jeans at his suitcase. Heaven. That was his first thought. "Nothing. I mean, I'm not staring. I'm sorry, Brooks." There. Ta da. Tight shoulders relaxed. "Yeah? I… Me too, man. I just figured we were having a laugh." "We were. I was just feeling sorry for myself." Beer. It had to be the beer making him say all these touchy feeling things.

"Yeah?" Coming right up to him, Brooks clapped him on his shoulder, fingers scarred and callused. "No need, man. You're rock solid." Almost as hard as a rock, for sure. Wasn't beer supposed to make a man limp? Sandra had always said so. Evan barely resisted the urge to adjust himself. "Thanks, Brooks. Really." When he felt like he wouldn't offend the man, Evan turned away, breathing hard through his nose. "Hey, you got the quease? We could order room service." "Oh, good idea. Something burger-like." That would give him something to do with his hands and his runaway mouth. "Maybe chocolate cake, too, huh?" Brooks loved the frosting. Evan had seen him eat all the way around a three layer cake, just eating the sugary stuff. "You order, huh?" "What's gotten into you?" Brooks asked when he woulda run for the bathroom again. "I'm horny, okay?" he kinda shouted, hands clenching. "I want to go jack off in the bathroom!" "Oh." Blue eyes snapped right up to meet his, Brooks staring hard. "You don't gotta run off, buddy." "Whut?" It came out stupid, just flat and stunned. Brooks finally looked away, shrugging a little. "Sometimes a man's gotta do what he's gotta do. I don't mind." "Oh." Damn. For a moment there he'd thought… Well. That's what he got for thinking. "Well, thanks, Brooks. I'm not much for an audience." "Shame." He all but swallowed his tongue. "What are you trying to say, buddy?" "I'm just saying if you wanted to, I wouldn't say nothin'. I might even, you know." Brooks made a graphic motion with his hand, and Evan's mouth immediately went dry. "No shit?" "No shit." The man met his eyes again, licking his lips, cheeks pink.

"Christ." Maybe it was the beer. Maybe he'd just been so long without that he couldn't hack it. Hell, maybe it was the hard-on he could see springing up in Brooks' shorts. Evan tore at his jeans, getting them open and down, and he grabbed himself, stroking hard. "Oh, fuck. Ev." Brooks pushed his shorts down, cock springing out, curly blond pubes right there for Evan to see. The man put a hand around himself, pulling, almost seeming to work right in time with Evan's movements. Neither one of them had made it to their beds. They stood in the middle of the room, and Evan leaned his other hand against the little dresser, keeping himself upright when his knees tried to bend like rubber. His hand felt good, sending shivers up and down his spine, leaving him gasping for air. Fuck, who was he kidding? It was Brooks who made it so hot. Evan could smell him, dark and earthy and hotter than the Fourth if July. Cock pushing through his fingers, Evan humped, rubbing furiously. He was so revved up that it didn't take no time at all. No time at all. Soon enough he was shooting over his fingers, the orgasm taking maybe five years of tension right out of him. "Nunhhh." The sound made him glance up, and he was just in time to see Brooks shoot, those pretty eyes closing, that lean body flexing and pushing. Oh, fuck him, that was the hottest thing he'd ever seen. Ever. They stood there, panting, both of them shaking. Evan was afraid to break the silence, figuring he'd just ruin it all by saying something incredibly stupid. Finally Brooks straightened up and hiked up his shorts, going to wash his hands. "So. You still want room service? We got time." "Sure." Wiping up, he got his own jeans back in place, trying not to let the fine tremor in his hands show. "Sure, man. Get me another beer, will you?" Brooks gave him a long look before grinning a little and nodding. "Yeah. Yeah, that might be a good idea."

Chapter 3 Brooks woke up stiff as a board, curled in on himself like a pretzel. Jesus, he was getting old. Yawning, he unkinked his back and stretched, automatically looking over to see what Ev was up to. The man slept like the dead, flat on his back and snoring. Naked. Evan's shorts lay draped over the foot of the bed, making Brooks figure they'd come off sometime in the middle of the night. It was always that way when Chay wasn't with them, sleeping on the little rollaway bed. Brooks always figured Evan was modest by necessity. Would Ev say they'd been so drunk last night that he didn't even remember what happened? Because Brooks hadn't been that toasted. No, sir. He remembered it all in Technicolor. He wanted to do it again. That and more. Sighing, Brooks rolled off the bed and headed for the bathroom. Maybe it was his turn to jack off in the shower. He did his business and washed up a little, but couldn't resist going out and having another gander at naked Ev. Who knew when he'd have another chance? Planting his ass on the edge of Evan's bed, Brooks stared, feeling like a weird stalker or something. Not that he was gonna stop. Nope. Evan just looked too fine. The man was all tight, tanned skin and lean muscles. Brooks wanted to touch so bad that his hands itched, but he kept them to himself. Ev shifted, legs sliding along the sheets, brows drawing together. "Brooks?" "Right here, buddy." The frown disappeared, and Evan smiled without opening his eyes, reaching out with one hand. "Hey, man." His heart kicked into high gear. Was Evan even awake? Brooks decided to find out, reaching out to take the offered hand. Those gray eyes flew open, Evan staring at him a moment. It had to be maybe a few seconds, but it seemed like a year. Then Evan tugged, pulling Brooks down next to him, moaning a little when he settled, bare chest against bare chest.

"Not gonna claim to be drunk, huh?" Brooks asked, his free hand sliding around to settle against Evan's back. "Nope. I mean, I was tipsy, but I figure that just broke the ice. This okay?" That voice sounded like sandpaper on rock. Rough as a cob and deeper than usual. "Better than," Brooks murmured, nuzzling right in, his chin on Evan's shoulder. God, it felt good to be there, right where he'd wanted to be for years. "You okay?" "I think so, yeah. I mean, I'm scared this will go bad in a real bad way, but I've been looking a long time." "Same here." He grinned, relieved as hell. "We can go slow. We can go with nothing, if you want, but I'm glad we did what we did." One hand slid behind his head, tilting it back so Evan could look him in the eye. "I don't want to go with nothing." "Oh. Thank God." Without even thinking, Brooks leaned forward and pressed their mouths together, feeling Evan's lips under his for the first time. The taste pushed right into him, scarring him, ruining him for anyone else with one touch. Salty, sleepy, and so hot it burned his tongue, Evan's kiss made Brooks groan, made his toes curl. They just laid there for the longest time, lips pressed together, breathing each other in. Brooks moved his fingers in lazy circles, wanting to feel the heat and softness of Evan's skin, right at the small of the back where no one ever touched it. "Need you, Brooks," Evan said against his mouth. "Been needing you. Tell me I can have you, just this once." "You got me any way you want me, honey." He meant it, too. There were some things he'd always wanted to do, but only with Evan. Not that he'd lacked companionship or nothin'. He'd just figured some things was worth saving. "God." He got him another kiss, Evan trying to eat him up, trying to crawl into his skin. Hell yes. He could so handle that man inside him. They rocked together, and Evan's hands worked down his back, hands landing on his ass to touch him, pet him. Open him wide. Stilling, he looked right into Evan's eyes, searching for something that would make this all right. He found it, found heat and need and a little pleading, Evan shaking with the effort it took to hold back and wait for him.

Brooks relaxed, letting Evan turn him onto his back, settling between his legs. "I think I have some lotion somewhere. I use it for… you know. I'm not sure I have a glove, though." "I do." God, Brooks was gonna shake apart. "In my wallet." He got a look, but Evan didn't say anything, just went and got the condom and the lotion, coming back before he could start second guessing himself. Warm, hairy thighs slid between his, the tanned skin glowing in the lamp light. "I got you, man," Evan said, petting his belly for a moment, letting him know it was all good. "We don't have to." "No, I want you." He wasn't no silly teenager. Brooks knew what he wanted, and damn it all, he could get past the nervous. "Come and get me." "You know it." Fingers slick with the lotion, Evan pushed against him, fingers sliding down to press between his legs, under his balls. Evan rubbed that spot in between his ass and balls for a long moment, making him groan, then moved on to circle his hole. Brooks had never felt anything like it. When one finger pushed into him, his legs went straight, his belly hard as a board. "This okay?" Evan asked, rubbing in and out, in and out. "More than," Brooks gasped, arching up, feeling like he'd been touched by a live wire. Lord have mercy, he wasn't gonna last through this. "Hurry." "I want to take it slow. Not hurt you." His brows drew together, and Brooks bared his teeth. "I'm gonna come, though." "Oh. Oh, damn." Evan sped up, getting him ready, getting everything right and tight, though really loose, before muscling right up between his legs. "Ready?" "If you don't do it now we won't, man. I'm… Fuck." Evan nodded, pushing into him without a whole lot of thought or care, but Brooks didn't give a shit. He just wrapped his legs up around Evan's hips and started humping, riding that thick cock like he'd ride a bull or a bronc, rough and wild.

They moved together, Evan's hands all over him now, like fucking his ass gave leave to do anything and everything Evan wanted but not been brave enough for. Like touch Brooks' nipples, fingers twisting them, mouth moving on them. It left him breathless, hard as a rock, and pushing back on Evan's cock like a two-dollar whore. "Brooks! Oh, God. I need to blow, man." "Me… me too. Please. I just wanna come. With you." Evan nodded once, sharply, before those gray eyes went wide and hazy, the heavy gasp all the warning he got. That hard cock pushed so deep that Brooks figured they were never gonna get it out, pulsing inside him with Evan's heartbeat. The whole world grayed out as Brooks shot, his cock and ass everything he could feel or even think about. His muscles clenched and unclenched until he thought he'd scream with it. "Damn," he said when the shaking was over. "Think you can do that again sometime, or is just once enough?" Evan kissed him, forehead resting against his when the kiss ended. "Once is never going to be enough." Yeah. That was what he was afraid of. Brooks wasn't sure whether to scream with delight or run in fear. "We'll figure it, huh?" "We always do, Brooks," Evan agreed. "We always do." *** Evan got up with a spring in his step and a whistle on his lips. God knew it was stupid, but every time he looked at Brooks he smiled. Brooks smiled back, too, just taking these long, slow looks at him, a fire burning behind those blue eyes. "When is Chay coming back?" Brooks asked, running a hand over his back, passing by to grab those nasty old boots. "About two, I think." "So we got time to go get some breakfast?" The man looked so tickled. "We do. ‘Course if we go down to the buffet the other guys will be there."

"Yeah…" One white-blond brow went up. "You want to stay in? I thought it would be nice for you to hang without the kidlet, but I'm easy." Always thinking, his Brooks. They guys all loved Chay, but her being a little girl sorta put them all on their best behavior, and often as not they would all leave a little early when Chay was around. "That'd be nice, man. If you don't mind, I say we go for it." Shit, he was getting old enough that even if he wanted to stay in with Brooks and mess around some more, he probably couldn't come again, and they were all showered and clean and all… "Don't mind a bit. Come on, shift your ass." They headed down to the buffet, the elevator whooshing so fast it made his ears pop. All of the boys were there when they got in line, waving at them to come and sit, and Evan pumped hands and slapped backs, ordering a coffee and some orange juice. "Hey, stranger," Kyle Lane said, whacking him hard on the arm. "How in hell are you? Man, it's good to see you." He got a chorus of that, making his cheeks heat up with a pleased flush. He thought no one missed him on the circuit, no matter what Brooks said. It was good to know that wasn't true. "Hey, guys." Brooks nodded and smiled all around, settling next to him, one boot hooked on the rung of Evan's chair. "Y'all save us some food?" "Shit, they got so much that we gave up trying to eat it all before you got here," Logan Price said, laughing like a loon. Man, everyone was pumped. "So when do y'all ride?" The guys got to talking schedules and draws, and it was just like old times. "So where's Chay?" "She's hanging with the girls for a couple more hours," Evan answered, trying hard not to notice that the toe of Brooks' boot was rubbing up and down his leg under the table. God, the man looked good, smiling and lazing in that chair, just easy in his skin. "Well, good for her. She needs some girl time, huh?"

"Yeah. Sometimes she needs to get away from you louts." "Ow!" Logan laughed again, drawing some stares from the old stodgies. "You telling us we're a bad influence?" "Shit, yes." The coffee came and Evan and Brooks got up to get them some food, leaving the guys arguing about who could possibly be the worst role model. Brooks bumped hips with him at the pastry counter, grinning over. "Better, buddy?" "Shit, I was better before last night was even over…" "Oh.,. Those tanned cheeks went hot. "Good." "Well, well. Evan. Looks like you made it to the finals after all." Jesus fuck. Sandra. "Yeah. I came to hold Brooks up," Evan said, striving for neutral. "How's you?' "Good. I ride tomorrow." She raised one perfectly groomed eyebrow. "You and Brooks are looking awfully chummy." Brooks stepped right up to his side, the low sound of grinding teeth obvious. "Well, we're friends. Some folks think that means something, honey." ‘Honey' came out like a curse, Brooks looking right down his nose at Sandra. "Where's my little girl?" Sandra asked, staring at Brooks, an ugly look in her eyes. "She's with Lorrie. She'll be so sorry she missed you." That was a lie, for sure. Chay didn't know how to be around her momma anymore, since she never saw the woman. "Well, I'd like to see her." "What are you doing in the low rent hotel, anyway?" Brooks asked, changing the subject for him. Sandra scowled. "It's not exactly cheap." "True enough. But didn't you stay at Caesar's last year? Celine Dion and all that?" Lord, a catfight was about to break out between his ex-wife and his best friend, and he was just standing there with his mouth open.

"If Chay wants to see you, I'll call your cell. You staying with the girls, or have you got a sugar daddy?" "Jesus Christ, Evan." Her eyes snapped blue fire. "Can't you be decent?" "He would if you would. Come on, buddy, let's go eat." Tugging at his arm, Brooks pulled him away, and it wasn't until they got almost back to the table that Evan realized his plate was almost empty. He put on the brakes. "I need some food, Brooks." Peering at his own plate, Brooks snorted. "Oh. Yeah. She just puts my back up." "Shit, I get that. Come on." Somehow they managed to avoid any more run ins, circling the buffet after Sandra got out of the way, piling up loads of eggs and bacon and all. "Wasn't that your ex?" Logan asked when they sat down. "She's looking fine." "She's a stone cold bitch," Brooks answered, giving Logan a look. "You know it, so leave it be.' "Sorry, man." They ate in silence for a bit, but it wasn't long before that irrepressible cowboy spirit had them laughing and joking about something else, all of the guys giving Brooks hell for his last ride, where he'd popped right off the bronc like it'd put springs under his saddle. Evan didn't relax until he saw Sandra sit far on the other side of the restaurant, with some rich cattleman who probably thought she was all sweetness and light. Go him. The guy could have her. The guys laughed raucously at something Brooks said, drawing his attention back to what was important. Sandra could take a flying leap. Evan was where he belonged.

Chapter 4 Brooks hit the ground like a sack of potatoes, missing the pick-up man by a mile. Goddamn, that hurt. His hip felt like a fucking dinosaur had stepped on it, instead of the bull who'd got him last night. Shit, he was getting old. He got up slow, taking his rigging from the clown and shaking the offered hand. He'd made the eight seconds, and made a seventy eight point ride, which would keep him in. Now he just had to hobble out of the arena, lifting his hat to the cheering crowd. Once he was back in the locker room he could sit and whimper a minute. "Good ride, cowboy," the stock manager said, clapping him on the back, and Brooks covered the wince with a smile. "Thanks, Tyler. The landing got a little western on me, huh?" "Yeah. Cowboy up." "You know it." The silence in the big hallway that led to the locker room soothed him, and the fact that no one around meant he could limp like the wounded dog he felt like. Seeing Evan's smiling face at the end of that hall went a long way to healing his hurts, too. "Hey, buddy. Want me to get some ice for that hip?" Evan asked when he made the door, hobbling over to sink down on one of the benches. "Oh, that'd be fine," Brooks said, nodding and smiling. "You did good. That score was too low." "Nah. I didn't spur for shit. My timing was off. That big mare was fucking strong." He loved the ‘no shit, there I was' ritual of retelling the ride. Those were the best parts of rodeoin'. The little parts, like pulling rope and talking shit and watching Evan put on his chaps. Brooks blinked. Well, now he could be obvious about that, huh? Not that Evan would suit up this time around, damn it.

"What are you grinning at?" Evan asked, coming to hand him the ice and help him ease out of his chaps and boots and jeans, leaving him in a pair of tented boxer briefs and his shirt. Evan's eyes widened. "Oh. I get it." "Yeah. I was smiling at you, buddy." Cheeks going pink, Evan grinned down at him. "Cool." He almost leaned up and got him a kiss. Almost. Too bad Logan came in just then, throwing his rigging hard across the room, snarling a curse. It was just as well, Brooks thought when Evan eased away from him. Canoodling in the locker room was probably a bad idea. At the very least it would get their asses kicked. The cowboy community was pretty 'don't ask, don't tell' as long as a man wasn't flaunting it all over. "Bad ride?" he asked Logan, clearing his throat and moving his shirttail. "Bucked off in three. Three fucking seconds! On a damned mare that any man would love to ride. I swear to God, I'm losing it!" Evan looked at Brooks, both of them grinning. "You always miss the first ride of the finals, man," Brooks said. "Don't worry on it." "Oh, fuck you. I am not that predictable." Logan was the most predictable fool on tour, and they all knew it. He and Evan shared another grin, this one wider, more obvious. Lord have mercy, but how was a cowboy supposed to resist the urge to give a man hell? There was just no way to hold it in. "God could set his watch by your rides, Logan," Evan said. At the same time, Brooks snorted. "You know why the pick-up men are always there for you, right? They don't gotta be fortune tellers." "Oh, y'all are going down." Logan went after Brooks first, probably 'cause he was closest. Evan wasn't having none of that, no sir. His man came to Brooks' rescue in a damned hurry, tickling Logan right in the ribs, making him whoop. "Gonna get us kicked out, boys." "Shit, yeah. You're still going down."

They tussled around until Shy Littleton came on in, limping, eyes full of an ended season. Shy had hurt his knee a few months back, and tonight it looked like maybe the damned thing was blown out. "You take that to sports medicine?" Logan asked. Nodding, Shy sank down and stared at his clasped hands. "Yeah. It's a goner. Looks like my finals are done, man." They had a moment of silence for that, all of them kind of sitting a minute. "Anyone got another ride tonight?" Brooks finally asked. Chay was with Lorrie again, and would be asleep by now. They could all go have a beer, just to toast to Shy's season, and help him cowboy up. "Nope." Logan grinned. "I'm done." Ev winked. "I wasn't invited to ride as it was." That little grin warmed him right up on the inside. Evan was just so much happier today than he had been in weeks, so much more settled. Brooks'd like to think he did that, in some small part. "Let's go get a beer, then. Shy, get your chaps off. I guarantee you won't have to pay for one drink." Shy laughed and got moving, and it was all better all of a sudden. Sometimes a man just needed good friends to get him through. *** The knock on the hotel room door had Evan dragging his hung over ass out of bed. It was too early for Lorrie to be bringing Chay back, and Brooks had been right there beside him in bed, so he had no idea what the deal was. "I didn't order no room service," he said, opening the door. His jaw dropped, and Evan groped beside the door for his robe, trying to cover up. "Jesus, Sandra, what are you doing here?" His ex sneered, her perfectly pink lips curling. "I came to take Chay to breakfast," she said, sweeping past him into the room. "Where is she?" "She's with Lorrie."

He tried to block her up, tried to keep her from getting past the bathroom, but it didn't work. Damn her, she took it all in with one glance, too, noting the unrumpled second bed, the naked Brooks, who was sitting up and blinking. "Well. Damn, y'all have gotten right cozy. Never took you for an ass bandit, Brooks. Evan, yeah. Not you." Brooks growled, those blue eyes waking right up. "Nice to see you, too, you smarmy bitch." "Smarmy? You asshole. I tell you what, I can't wait to let this one slip. Y'all just gave me a way to get Chay back." Evan's hands clenched into fists. "You ain't never had her. You left her with me, remember? What, now that she's old enough to know to sit quiet and look pretty you want her? No way." No way. The guys knew better than to listen to Sandra. They'd close ranks. He and Brooks hadn't flaunted anything… Brooks stood up, looking fine, all tense muscle and anger-flushed skin. "You'd best get on out of here, lady. Before I think better of my upbringing and kick your ass." Sandra stared Brooks down for a long moment, but it was Brooks who won the contest. "Fine. But y'all haven't heard the last of this." "Out." Sandra flounced out with a flip of her golden hair and swish of her hips, and Evan watched the door close, just standing there. Shaking. "Evan. Man, you got to call Lorrie. Tell her to bring Chay. Come on, man. Move." Brooks came, gave him a warm, hard hug. "I'll get us some clothes. Come on, now." Nodding sharply, Evan made himself move, made himself call Lorrie's room. "Lorrie? Hey, honey. Sandra's on the warpath. Can you bring Chay? Yeah, I just want her with me, in case something… Uh-huh. Thanks, darlin'." Sandra really hadn't seen anything. Certainly nothing unusual in the cowboy life. Lord knew the difference between a gay cowboy and a straight one on any given night was about a six-pack of beer. Still, he needed his girl with him, just to make sure nothing happened. "Here, honey," Brooks said, handing him jeans and a shirt. "Get your kit on. We'll have to figure what to do."

They got dressed in silence, and the next knock on the door was Lorrie, with a very sleepy Chay. "Hey, Daddy. Are we going to breakfast?" "You know it, baby. Did you brush your teeth and wash your face?" God, he loved her. Evan ruffled her pretty hair, smiling down and trying not to show his strain. "I need to wash my face." Clutching her little backpack, Chay wandered to the bathroom, leaving him and Brooks with Lorrie. "What happened, Ev?" Lorrie asked, chewing on her lower lip. "Sandra came over this morning." A sidelong glance at Brooks told him to just tell her everything. "Brooks and I got drunk, honey. She found us in a bad way." "Uh-huh. I know you. Couldn't have been that bad." Shit, he didn't know if he deserved that kind of faith, but he sure loved Lorrie for it. "It wasn't. But she'll use it any way she can. She's got some hair-brained idea about taking Chay." "Well, we'll figure it. What do you say we take your girl to breakfast someplace down the strip so we can talk?" "I think that's a fine idea." Warm, firm, Brooks' hand rested against the small of his back for a moment, supporting him silently. "Daddy, where are we going for breakfast?" Chay asked, coming out with a shiny wet face and damp hair. Bless her, she was always so thorough. "We're going to the place with the lions, honey." "Oh!" Apparently, that was a good choice, because Chay bounced hard. "I like the lions, Daddy." "Good. Come on, y'all." He took Chay's hand, and Brooks grabbed the room key and off they went. Evan kept expecting to see Sandra lurking around the corner, making him twitchy as hell. He kept a hold of Chay, afraid to let her out of his personal space, worried that someone would just come and grab her, which was stupid.

Sandra didn't really want Chay. She just wanted to make trouble.

They sat down to breakfast, Brooks taking Chay off to the buffet, his little girl looking tiny skipping along next to his cowboy. His cowboy. Lord. "You should take her to your momma's, Ev. She's getting too old to be on the road all the time. Sandra won't even think of messing with your mom." Lorrie smiled at him, patting his hand when he turned to stare at her. "We ain't done nothin' to hurt her, Lore." Somehow it was important that she believe that. "Evan, don't be stupid." Those pretty eyes stared right back into his, serious as a heart attack. "I know that. I just think she needs to settle. Your momma and pop will take her in a heartbeat." "You don't think I want to get rid of her because me and Brooks…" He trailed off, her loud snort and the snapping in her eyes all the answer he needed. "I know you love that girl more than anything in your whole life. You're not Sandra, Ev. But if you're staying on the circuit, and staying with Brooks, you need to make some changes." He nodded, and Chay came tripping back over with a plate full of amazing stuff. "Look, Daddy! Buns. Cinnamon ones and orange ones and they had cantaloupe!" "Wow, look at that pineapple, too, huh? I'm gonna go get some food, okay? Be right back." Brooks came back to the buffet with him, grabbing a plate, too. "Didn't get to get any food with her bouncing… You okay?" Those icy blue eyes met his, warming up fast. "Yeah. Lorrie thinks I ought to take her to Momma's." The idea had more and more merit all the time, and a tiny corner of him wanted to jump at it, take the time to be alone with Brooks for a bit. The rest of him screamed that he was as bad as Sandra. Not to mention he'd miss the munchkin. Brooks raised an eyebrow. "We're going to. For Christmas. You can stay on with her until the season starts again."

"Yeah, but it never occurred to me that Sandra might…" He turned to Brooks, waving his plate, little green grapes rolling wildly. "She can't take her, Brooks." "She won't, buddy." Clapping him on the shoulder, Brooks turned him back to the food. "We'll see to it." Jesus. Evan just hoped he could believe it.

Chapter 5 "Congratulations, buddy." Logan said, clapping Brooks on the shoulder when he went by to collect his buckle and check. "Thanks, man!" Brooks was on top of the fucking world. He'd taken third in the all around, which meant he'd get a nice little stash of cash. The buckle was silver, not gold, but he didn't care. It worked for him to come in first in the bareback broncs. The flashbulbs all but blinded him, and Brooks shook hands enough that his sore riding arm liked to fall off. He was looking for Evan, scanning the faces behind the chutes. All of the 'hey there and howdy' wasn't as important to him as those gray eyes lit up and happy for him. When he couldn't find Evan's brown Stetson and pretty face, Brooks deflated a little. He smiled and shook hands and was finally allowed to limp off and get his shit together in the locker room. Suddenly he was tired as all hell. He packed his duffel, wrapping his rigging and ropes and spurs, just rolling his head on his neck. "Brooks, man! Evan and Chay are out back," Logan called. "They were up in the stands." "Oh. Cool." That perked him up, for all that he was still bone tired. "I'll head on out. See you next season, man." "You know it." Hoisting his bag, Brooks made his way out the back of the arena, right down on the loading dock where the back hallway spilled out. It was so quiet out there it was almost shocking, after the roar of the crowd. "Brooks!" Chay sashayed right over, throwing herself at him with no fear that he wouldn't catch her. Catch her he did, lifting her up to kiss her cheek and let her hug him tight. "Hey, Munchkin." "Hey! You did really good! Daddy said." "Uh-huh. Did Daddy tell you I'm taking y'all to supper? Where do you want to go?"

"McDonalds!" Lord save him, she always wanted McD's. "Oh, I think we can let Brooks have something nicer than that, honey. Maybe Denny's." Asshole. Brooks stared at Evan over Chay's head, sticking his tongue out. "Ew. No, Daddy. We need to go someplace with tablecloths." They both cracked up, and Evan came over to pull Chay free and put her down, giving Brooks a back-slapping bear hug. "Way to go, buddy. I'm fucking proud." "Thanks, man." Evan felt good against him, solid and warm, and it was all he could do not to spring a hard on. He thought about Evan's ex, and that did it. "So what's the plan?" He knew Ev was still worried about Sandra, and wanted to hit the road as soon as possible. Hell, why else was the man meeting him back behind the loading docks instead of inside the arena? "I checked us out of the hotel and got us one in Bullhead City. I'll drive, but we can stop and eat anywhere you want." Man, someone was wanting to get out of town fast-fast. He nodded. "All right then, darlin'. How about we see if there's a steakhouse in Henderson?" "Sounds good." "Oh! We can get ice cream out of the little machine, right?" Grabbing his hand, Chay swung a little, and Brooks laughed. "We can. With sprinkles. Come on, y'all." They just needed to get on the road and get to Evan's momma's. The man would relax then, and hopefully those lines around Evan's eyes and mouth would ease. Brooks sure as hell wished they would, because he hated seeing his friend hurtin'. And if he was really honest with himself, he knew Evan was more than a friend. *** They were just outside of Phoenix and it was fixing to get really dark, not just dusk dark. Evan figured he needed to look for a hotel and some supper. They'd gotten a slow start, what with Chay wanting to go swimming in the indoor pool before breakfast, and Brooks moving slow due to the bumps and bruises that went with taking third. Third in the all around.

He might just bust with pride. Chay snoozed away back in the back seat of the king cab, and Brooks was dozing in the passenger seat, head against the window, black felt hat on his knee. The rumble of the motor and the barely audible country music station on the radio were his only company. The road seemed to stretch forever, even though he could see suburbia, lights popping up all over the valley in front of him. Slowing the truck, Evan pulled off at a Super 8, seeing an IHOP and a couple other places they could tuck into some food. As soon as the truck slid to a stop, Brooks woke up, snorting a little. "We there?" Brooks asked, looking around. "Where?" he teased, poking Brooks' leg. "We're just outside of Phoenix, honey. Wanna eat?" "Shit, Ev!" Books sat right up, blinking at him. "You drove a good long while. I coulda helped." "I know. It's no big deal. Will you get Chay while I get us a room?" "Surely." Moaning, Brooks stretched before unbuckling his seatbelt, giving Evan a little show to add to his private fantasies. Well, he could make them public with Brooks later, but for now he'd have to keep them to himself. At least until they got to Momma's and he and Brooks could find a way to be alone. Evan hustled in and got a room, and by the time he got back to the truck, Chay was clinging to Brooks' neck while the man unloaded their bags. "One oh four," he said, handing Brooks a key card. "I'll bring the bags." "Thanks, buddy." "Hi, Daddy," Chay said, the smile that never failed to make his heart turn over just right there. "Hi, baby. Have a good nap?" "Uh-huh. Do we get pancakes?" "You bet we do. Chocolate chip ones, if you want." They made him gag, but Chay loved those silly things, all covered in whipped cream and chocolate sauce.

The bags felt heavy as hell after a day at the wheel, but he hauled them in, listening to Brooks laugh. "You really think you ought to have all that sugar when you slept most of the day, Munchkin?" "What? Oh, it's not that much sugar and I'll drink milk instead of juice and I always sleep, huh?" Crap. He hoped this place had an indoor pool, too. They'd have to run Chay ragged so she'd let them get some sleep. "You try, baby." They got in, and he dumped the bags, stretching his sore back. Better. Much better. "Which bed do you want, Chay?" "The one by the window!" she said, bouncing on the bed in question, sending pillows and shit flying as she dug under the bedspread. "Cool." He just stood there for a bit, kinda hearing road noise, until Brooks poked his arm. "You okay, man?" "Just a little tired. So, IHOP?" "Sure," Brooks said. "Sounds good as long as I can fill up. I'm empty as a worm." "Let's go eat then. Then maybe Chay can watch a movie and we can trade off in the shower." He got a look from those blue eyes, hot as a pinecone on a fire, and he knew what Brooks was thinking. Knew Brooks knew they couldn't, but Evan sure wished just as hard they could. Clearing his throat, Evan shucked his shirt and went to get a clean one, thinking of bull snot and dirt clods and anything else that would keep his incipient woody from springing up like it wanted to. That wouldn't work at all. They all got cleaned up a little and headed out to the pancake house, managing to convince Chay to have the fruity thing for kids instead of the chocolate. She still got whipped cream, but she didn't eat near as much of the sugary topping, so they might yet sleep. He was itching to talk to Brooks; he wanted to talk about Sandra and about the finals rodeo and about nothing. Hell, he'd be happy to talk about fishing. He'd never felt the stress of being a single parent like they talked about in all them women's magazines. Not really. But now he wanted some time alone with Brooks to just be and feel and maybe get used to things.

Evan felt guilty as hell. "You all done?" he asked Chay, who was making faces in the leftover sludge from the pancakes. "Uh-huh. Can I have a bath tonight, Daddy?" Lord, that girl was a water baby. "Sure, baby. We'll make sure the tub is clean and you can knock yourself out." "Cool!" Brooks patted his belly, his huge plate of omelet and hash browns and pancakes gone. "I'm stuffed. I'll get the bill, buddy. You go get Miss Chay in her bath, huh?" "Sure." He had to catch Brooks' eyes, making sure they were okay. He got a smile that lit up the diner, telling him everything was just fine. He held that smile close all the way back to the hotel. It was all he had to go with until their next chance to be alone.

Chapter 6 Brooks woke up in the middle of the night, his eyes popping open, even though he couldn't see anything. He was on the sofa in the little hotel room, letting Chay have one bed and Ev have the other. Damn, he wanted to crawl in that bed with Evan and reconnect. He really did. But they just couldn't mess around with Chay there. No, sir. It wouldn't be right. Sighing, Brooks rolled up off the couch, his back aching, and grabbed his boots and his hidden pack of smokes. He waited until he got outside before putting his boots on, ignoring the chill on his bare chest, his lounge pants hanging low. Damn, it was cold at night in Arizona. His nipples drew right up, his skin goosebumping, but he wanted the smoke more than he wanted to avoid belly button frostbite. He lit up, humming a little through blowing out the smoke. His body kinda ached; his dreams had been a little x-rated. The door to the back parking lot creaked open, booted footsteps sounding, and Evan came over to stand beside him, grabbing his smoke out of his hand. "Kinda cold." "Yeah, but I couldn't sleep. Didn't mean to wake you." "You didn't, really." "Yeah?" Well, that was okay, then, he guessed. "You okay?" Evan asked, bumping his arm to hand him the smoke back. "Sure. Just looking forward to getting to your momma's. I was thinking, if you wanted, that we could leave Chay with her for the day and go… somewhere." "Uh-huh. I was thinking the same thing." It was dark and cold and quiet, not even crickets out to make noise at this time of year. They seemed completely alone, the only noise the occasional whoosh of a car out on the highway. Gave a man ideas. "You want to go sit in the truck?" Evan asked, making him wonder if they were thinking the same thing. "You bet, buddy." It would be warmer, and they could hide a little, maybe. Just a little. Chay was locked in and sleeping like a log. She'd be fine.

"Come on, then." Evan led the way, lean body looking good in the moonlight, all hard and muscled and pretty as anything could be. They piled in, and Brooks sent the cigarette arcing into the night before he closed the door. The truck wasn't warm, but it cut the breeze, and as soon as the dome light went off they were reaching for each other, warming up with body heat. The kiss left him breathless as all get out, and Brooks went looking for more, tasting smoke and toothpaste on Evan's mouth. His tongue pushed deep, counting teeth, and damn. Oh, damn. He was hard and shaking in no time at all. "Evan…" It came out as a moan, ragged pieces of his lover's name, so good that he could hardly stand it. "I got you, honey," Evan said, sounding breathless as he felt. "I need you to have more of me." He grinned, meeting Evan's eyes, shadowy in the dark of the early morning. "Anything you need." Those hands gripped his shoulders, and Brooks could feel every scar and callus, his skin so sensitive that it was almost too much already. Part of him was hot, though, and beggin' for touch like a cheerleader in a backseat. He grabbed one of Evan's hands and pushed it down, right over his shorts. "I need a little hand," he said, trying to keep it light, his voice cracking anyway. Nodding, Evan opened his shorts and pulled him out, fingers closing around him. Oh. Oh, thank God. Not a dream the first time. Or even the second. Brooks humped up a little, trying to get more, even as his hands skated across Evan's chest, thumbs brushing those tiny nipples. It was hell, thanks to the gear shift and all, but they managed it, avoiding whapping themselves too much on the console. Brooks reached down, needing to feel Evan in his hand as much as he needed that hand around him. It was still so new, so fucking hot, and once he got into Evan's jeans they just went to town. Hell, he didn't know what to focus on. The feel of Evan's rough fingers on his cock sent him flying; the feel of that silky cock between his own made him moan. "Brooks. Harder." Yeah. Yeah, it was too far gone for a light touch now. They both stroked harder and faster, arms really moving, their foreheads pressed together as they got as close as they could. Brooks smelled it before he felt it, Evan's hot come spilling over his fist. The wetness and musk pushed him right over the fucking edge, making him grunt and come and jerk like he was riding the wildest bronc out there.

"Oh, damn, Brooks," Evan said, panting like a hot dog. "I needed that." "Me too, buddy." "We should get back in, huh?" "Have one more smoke with me?" They'd need to clean up; there was Kleenex in the glove box. "Yeah." He got a sideways glance, both of them settled back in their own seats. "Been wanting to just sit with you." Brooks glanced over the same way, just meeting Evan's eyes. "Feel guilty?" "Hell, yes." Grinning, he patted Evan's leg. "Me too, buddy. We'll have to work on that." "You know it. We got time." They did. That was one thing Brooks was willing to give Evan in spades. All the time in the world. *** They got to Evan's folks' place just about supper time, which suited Evan just fine. His momma came out to meet them wearing her apron, her frosted hair sprayed into place and a smile as wide as Texas on her face. "Hey, baby! Hey, Brooks. There's my grandbaby!" Chay threw herself at her granny, just squealing. They danced around the yard, both of them laughing and chatting, and Evan watched, his smile just stretching his cheeks. Lord, lord. "Well, come on, boys. It's cold out here." "Where's Pop?" Evan asked, missing his dad's lined face and happy go lucky grin. "He had to go on a run to deliver some cows. He'll be back by Christmas. Now come on." They all trooped inside, Chay getting a cookie, him and Brooks a cup of coffee. "I made chili, baby. I hope that's okay. I figured you'd need something warm and filling." Brooks smiled at his momma, dimples flashing. "You make us cornbread?"

"Have I ever not?" She whapped him with her apron before tossing it over the back of a chair. "Y'all wash up. I'll take care of Chay." They all got washed up, stuffed themselves silly and watched a movie on the TV. By the time it was over, Chay was nodding off, and Momma got her a bath and read her a book and before Evan knew it, Momma was waking him up in the big easy chair, poking him. "You need to wake up and talk to me, son. Chay says you left Vegas in an all fired hurry. Something you need to tell me?" Sighing, Evan looked over at Brooks, who scrubbed a hand over his short blond hair and stood. "Think I'll go take a shower. Night, y'all." Coward. Still, it was his problem, wasn't it? "We met up with Sandra, Momma. She was… Well. She was pretty nasty." "Yeah? What's she got to be nasty about? You take good care of Chay, and you'd tell me if you was sleeping with some girl." His mother had green eyes. He'd gotten his own gray ones from his daddy. He always thought his momma's looked like a cat's eyes when she narrowed them down that way, all speculative. "I'm not sleeping with some girl, Momma." She just sat there for a minute, staring, before her eyes widened and she glanced toward the back hall. "You and… Oh, honey. That's bad." Evan drew up, springing out of the recliner like a jack in the box. "It is what it is, Momma. I ain't doing nothin' wrong." "No, no." She flapped one hand, her gold wedding band shining in the light. "I mean it's bad that Sandra knows." Oh. Oh, God. He sank back down on the edge of the chair, relief making him a little weak. "You're not… You ain't upset." "You already gave me a grandbaby. Why should I be?" Her face looked a little pale, but the lines that would tighten up around her mouth if she was mad just weren't there. "Well, I don't know. I hear tell there's more drama when someone tells their momma these things." He grinned a little, trying for a little lightness. "Sandra don't actually know anything, Momma. She thinks she saw something, but Chay wasn't there and Brooks and I were sharing the bed, but she didn't even see us in it together. She just thinks she's got something."

Nodding slowly, Momma got up and walked over to give him a hug, the old wood floors of his childhood house creaking like crazy. "It'll still cause some fuss, I reckon. Good thing you're here. She comes around, we can just shoot her." "Momma!" It made him laugh, though. Made him relax the rest of the way. "We can't do that. Chay would never forgive me." "She will once she finds out what a…" "Stop, okay?" Sandra was like a leopard. All the cussing in the world wasn't gonna make her change her spots. "Anyway, I need to talk to you about Chay." "Uh-huh. You gonna leave her with us from now on?" She was so close that he could read every emotion on her face, and she looked tickled, not wary. Thank God. "I was thinking, but for in the summer. She can still travel with me during the heavy season, you know? You're not upset?" Evan knew his momma and pop had done their share of child raising, and that it wasn't fair to ask, but he had to anyway. Chay deserved more of a solid home. "Honey, you've done the hard part. She's a good kid. Now, when she gets to be a teenager, I may have to give her back." She cupped his cheek, thumb rubbing over his cheekbone as she stared into his eyes. "You've done good, honey. I'm proud of you." "Thanks, Momma. You're really not upset?" "About Chay? Hell, no." "No. I mean about Brooks." She paused, pursing her lips and tilting her head. "Well, it's not the easiest thing in the world. But I like that boy, you know that. It will work out. I'll have to tell your pop, and that will be hard, but we'll manage." Hopping up again, Evan gave Momma a bone creaking hug. "I love you, Momma." "I love you, too, baby. We'll work the rest out. You wait and see." "I hope you're right, Momma." He surely did. ***

Brooks stood under the hot water in the shower for as long as he could. The steam did wonders, and muscles stiff and sore from his last few rides, as well as sitting in the truck and driving for two days, started to relax. It was nice to be back in a house and out of hotels, too. Rinsing off the last of the soap, he shook out his hair and reluctantly turned the water off. Evan might want a shower, too, and that was the one thing hotels had that Momma's didn't; unlimited hot water. Sighing, Brooks grabbed a towel to dry off, starting to shiver a little. He'd wanted to eavesdrop on Evan and his momma, see what Evan told her about Sandra and about them and all, but that would be tacky, so he hadn't. Damn, though, he hated not knowing what Evan was gonna say. They'd not had any time to talk, to decide if they were gonna take things any farther than they had… Maybe Evan would want to just let things die now that they were home. Wrapping the towel around his waist, he checked the hallway before he tiptoed to his room, hoping he wouldn't meet up with Momma or Chay because he hadn't been smart enough to take any clean clothes. He slipped into the guest room, groping for the light, which never worked half the time anyway. It didn't click on, so Brooks stumbled to the bed, whacking his shin on the trunk at the end, and growling a little. The bedside lamp worked, and when it clicked on he almost jumped a mile.

"Evan! What in hell are you doing here?" "Well, if that's how you feel…" Even was laying with his legs crossed, hands on his belly. His bare belly. "We're in your folks' house!" "I told Momma." The bald statement brought him up short, staring. "Told her what?" "About you and me. Or at least that you and me were why Sandra was gonna be on the warpath." Evan's grin turned a little wry, a little sad. "Well, hell. How'd she take it?" He never woulda expected Evan to tell anyone just yet, no matter what Sandra threatened.

"Not bad, considering. She's more worried about Chay and school and all. And Pop." Patting the bed next to him, Evan jerked his head. "Come on, honey. We can be quiet." Feeling like a very naughty boy, Brooks slipped over to lay down next to Evan, letting the towel flop to the floor. "We should get a little trailer to park here, so we can have our own place. Not do shit at your momma's." "Honey, if it's gonna bother you that much, I'll go on back to the other room." "No!" God, no. He didn't want to sleep alone, and they could even do it naked. Among other things. Brooks figured he just wasn't strong enough to resist. Snuggling right up against Evan's side, Brooks settled in, loving the way his skin rubbed Evan's. "Feels good, lover." "It does, huh?" Wiggling around, Evan got those jeans off, too, and they were all bare together, all along their bodies. Feeling a little exposed, Brooks pulled the covers up over them, cocooning them in a warm nest of quilts. Oh. Better. "Coward," Evan teased, wrapping around him good and tight, kissing his throat. "Hell, no. I'm just a prudent man. Ain't no lock on that door." Anything could walk in that door, from the dogs to Chay after a nightmare, to Momma. Lord have mercy, they were taking a chance. Even of Momma knew, that didn't mean she'd cotton to it in her house. "Yeah, yeah. Shut up and kiss me." One hand on his cheek, Evan pulled him right down, lips meeting his, tongue tracing the line where they met. Every other thought flew out of his mind, the kisses and touching and closeness making him forget his own damned name, let alone the worry that someone would come along. His body ached, all of the blood rushing south. Brooks spread his legs, pushing against Evan hard, then harder, his cock sliding along one solid thigh. "Oh, damn, Brooks. I'm too hot off the mark. Gonna come." "Just like that, huh?" Not that he had any room to talk. Brooks reached down, grabbing Evan's cock in a nice, tight grip. "Come for me, man. Take the edge off." Evan nodded, panting, holding his shoulders tight. They shared another kiss, their lips grinding against each other's. Rocking hard, Evan moaned for him, shooting against his hip like nothing going. Goddamn.

Eyes squeezing closed, Brooks came, too, his hips punching his cock against Evan, hot spunk just going everywhere. They panted, both of them grinning a little when they were done. "You think we managed to keep quiet?" Evan asked. Brooks shrugged. "I dunno, honey. Maybe? I know I was out of it at the end." "Well, no one came knocking." Rolling him on his back, Evan kinda swarmed over him. "Wanna do it again?" He wasn't sure what in hell had gotten into Evan, but he sure liked it. "I don't know. Did you bring anything to use?" "Uh-huh." He got a grin, those gray eyes twinkling for him. "I got condoms and lube." Those cheeks were on fire, but the smile never wavered. "Oh, well, then…" "I want you, Brooks." Leaning down, Evan gave him a kiss that left him blinking. "Like, inside me." "Okay." Like he would say no. His cock went from mostly spent to half hard again, just like that. The words had him jerking, his balls giving a hard pull. "You gonna let me watch babe? Am I gonna get to see you?" Somehow it seemed ballsy to ask, but he did anyway. "Hell, yes. Help me, Brooks. I need… I can't get myself ready this way." Smiling, he stroked Evan's belly. "I bet you could. Bet you'd look pretty doing it, too. Just hand me the slick and all, though, and we'll figure it." Evan arched into his touch, eyes going all heavy lidded. "Huh? You want me to what, babe?" Oh, look at that. Brooks stroked down the firm, flat belly to the base of Evan's cock, watching the man shiver uncontrollably. Hoo, yeah, that was the hottest thing… "Hand me the lube and a rubber, honey." "The… oh! Right." Fumbling, Evan leaned sideways, giving him the most amazing friction. Jesus, that felt good. So good. Their cocks rubbed together with this amazing slapping noise as Evan's kinda… bounced against his. Brooks moaned, his eyes crossing. "Hurry, Ev. Please."

"Uh-huh. Hurrying. I promise." Sitting back up, Evan handed him the lube before tearing open the condom to roll it on Brooks' cock. So fucking good. He got the tiny tube open with a lot of fucking fumbling, finally squirting it on his fingers. Damn, it felt cold, even to him, so Brooks warmed it up the best he could, rubbing it between his fingertips before reaching around to press against Evan's hole. "Brooks! Damn…" That dark head fell back for him, Evan opening up and pushing down, taking the first finger in like it was nothing. That hole snapped tight closed around him, and it was like a fucking furnace. Hot as the hinges of hell. "Love…" He couldn't help the word coming out any more than he could help pushing another finger in and pressing against Evan as hard as he could, searching for that one spot that would make the man crazy… "Jesus Christ!" That lean body convulsed on top of his, Evan gripping his cock like a handle. "Get in me, damn it. Now!" "Yeah. Yeah, now." They both moved, Brooks pulling his fingers free, Evan rising up to push back and get him where he needed to be to slip right in. The head of his cock pressed inside Evan's hole and Brooks froze, hardly daring to breathe.

Evan stared down at him, mouth open, eyes wide, and then the man began to move, pressing all the way down until that tight ass hit his thighs. "This okay?" Evan asked, sounding like he'd swallowed a damned frog or something. "Uh-huh. Not hurting you am I?" "Hell, no. Move, Brooks." Brooks moved, rolling his hips up, pulling down with his hands, which were clamped down on Evan's hips. Arching, Evan pushed down, opening up for him, riding up and down, and that was the best sight in the whole world. Better than any gold buckle he might earn someday to make him a champion. Muscles rippling, Evan went to town, and Brooks almost forgot to do anything but watch. At least until Evan reached down and started stroking his own cock. Then Brooks kicked into gear and reached down, wrapping his hand over Evan's and stroking along. "Feels… Deep, Brooks. Good. Faster."

"Demanding man." "You know it. Didn't even know I was until you." Nodding, Brooks thrust harder, pulled harder, that whole words thing impossible to keep going when Evan squeezed him like that. Even with the condom on… Well. Even with that it was something else. Like nothing and no one and enough to keep him addicted for a lifetime. Evan's hands landed on his chest, leaving him to do all the stroking, the flats of Evan's palms against his nipples. Just another sensation added to the overload he already had, and Brooks couldn't hardly stand any more. "Come on, Ev. I… Jesus. I can't hold it." Wide gray eyes met his, Evan's mouth opening but no sound coming out. Then Evan was coming for him, cock jerking in his hand, ass clamping down madly on his cock. Brooks lost it, his free hand slapping against his mouth to muffle his cry. He shot so hard he saw stars, his teeth closing on the side of his thumb, his body shaking like a leaf. They lay together for a long time without saying a word. Then Evan gave him a kiss before pulling away to get them both cleaned up. They turned out the lights and curled together like they just had to touch, both of them unwilling to let go. Shit, Brooks figured he couldn't blame them. Who in hell knew what would happen tomorrow?

Chapter 7 Christmas morning dawned bright and early, with a crisp edge to the weather that made it feel like the real deal. They'd been running about for two weeks, buying up Christmas presents and wrapping them, sending off some in the mail to whatever family Brooks was still talking to and dropping off Chay's present to Sandra. If he was real honest with himself, Evan was selfish enough to admit that he was glad Brooks was with him and not off somewhere with a cousin or something. Momma had been up half the night stuffing stockings and all, so Evan got up with the sun, hoping he'd catch Chay before she woke anyone else up. Sure enough, his baby girl was awake, sitting cross-legged in front of the Christmas tree, staring at all the pretties, the lights twinkling in the watery, early morning light. Yawning, he tousled her hair on the way by, shushing her when she would have bounced and squeaked. "Come on, baby, help me make some coffee and decide what to make for breakfast." "Okay, Daddy," she said in a stage whisper so loud it probably woke up half of Texas. She trailed along behind him, her pajamas a good inch too short, and Evan was damned glad his momma had insisted they buy a few new pairs to put under the tree. "Merry Christmas, baby," he said, picking her up to give her a big old kiss on the cheek. She threw her arms around his neck, hugging hard. "Merry Christmas, Daddy. Is Brooks up yet?" "How would I know?" He and Brooks had slept in their own rooms the night before both of them worried that Chay would pop in unannounced and wake them up. "Well, you sleep together all the time. I'm not stupid, Daddy." His heart all but stopped in his chest. "What?" "That's okay, Daddy." She patted his shoulder where her hand still rested. "I know you get cold." Oh, Jesus. "Who told you that?" "Pop-Pop. He says that's the only reason two fellars would snuggle up together." Evan tried not to choke on his own damned spit. Christ on a crutch. Trust his pop to be the one she asked. Or didn't ask. Or whatever. He hadn't taken it as well as Momma, coming

around a few days ago when Evan was working in the barn to ask if he was sure he didn't just need a Playboy… "Yeah, well, don't be asking Pop-Pop about that anymore. You know how I always say some things is private?" She stared at him, blue eyes wide. "Uh-huh." "Well, that's private." "Okay, Daddy." Hell, it might not last until her ninth birthday, but right now that would make her feel bad enough to stop talking about it. Besides, it was Christmas, and he could distract her with shiny stuff. "Here, sit on the counter and help me crack eggs." By the time the rest of the house got up, they had blueberry pancakes and bacon cooked, and some syrup heated up. Momma came shuffling into the kitchen, her curlers still in her hair, her fuzzy pink slippers peeking out from under than ratty old robe. She'd looked like that for every Christmas he could remember, and it warmed Evan's heart. Her face lit right up, and she went over to give Chay a hug. "Oh, darlin', you made me breakfast!" "Uh-huh. Daddy said we should let you sleep." "Well, you and your daddy are doll babies. Right Hiram?" "Coffee," Pop said, but he smiled and ruffled Chay's hair. "Merry Christmas, y'all." "Merry Christmas, Pop-Pop! You need to eat so we can open presents!" "Chay! What did I tell you?" Lord, it was impossible to stifle a little girl's love of presents. "Sorry, Daddy. Can I go get Brooks up?" "He didn't get up with you?" Pop asked, and Momma whacked him hard on the shoulder. "Brooks is still in his room," Evan returned evenly, meeting his pop's eyes, so much like his. "Sleeping." "Well, then you'd best go get him, Chay. Before the pancakes get cold."

Bless Momma, she bustled around, covering up any awkwardness until Chay bounced back in, towing a blinky Brooks, that blond hair standing up everywhichways. "Morning, y'all," Brooks said on a yawn. "'Scuse me." "Coffee, son?" Pop asked, and Evan relaxed. There shouldn't ought to be anymore weirdness if Pop was making the peace offering of his precious Folgers. "Yessir. Thank you. Now, something smells right good." "Daddy and I cooked! Blueberries and all. Your favorite, Brooks!" "So it is." Stirring cream and sugar into his coffee, Brooks leaned against the counter, and the scene took on the eerie familiarity of all holidays, weddings and funerals. Everyone stood around in the kitchen and chatted and nibbled and just held down the floor. It was the way of things. Finally the pancakes and bacon and coffee were all gone, and Momma looked around. "Well. I guess it's time to go open presents, huh? Chay, come help me get the stockings down." Chay and Momma left hand in hand, and Pop trailed after, sipping that last cup of coffee. Leaving him and Brooks alone.

Evan moved right in to take a kiss, smiling into those now-awake blue eyes. "Hey, stranger. Merry Christmas. Missed you last night." Brooks just wrapped around him and kissed him right back, nodding so those warm lips brushed his mouth, up and down. "Same here, partner. I was cold all night." "Well, tonight we don't have to worry on it. Kiss me again, and we'll go have Christmas." Brooks kissed him, and Evan felt it all the way down to his toes. He was damned glad to have Brooks there, selfish or not. Brooks was family. No matter what day it was. *** Brooks put his foot up on the bottom rung on the fence, watching the horses munch the dry winter grass, smiling as Boo came right on over and nuzzled his arm. Old Boo was family as much as anyone was these days, and Brooks handed over a piece of carrot, rubbing the soft soft nose. "Hey, old man. You glad to be out of that trailer? Huh? I bet you are."

Boo snuffled at his hand, delicately picking up the carrot and crunching it right down. Lord, that old man had been with him through a lot of rodeos, a lot of shit. He guessed it was fitting that Boo was there for his coming out. Well, kind of a coming out. To Evan's folks, anyway. It was scary as all hell. They'd gorged on turkey and ham and dressing and layer salad and rolls and all manner of goodness, and were waiting on Momma and Pop to have a nap so they could have pie. Chay was happily playing with her new Barbie house, singing and bouncing her dolls around, and Brooks had just needed to get out, have a smoke, let the bracing wind wake him up again. "Hey. Got one for me?" Brooks glanced over at Evan's father, eyebrows rising. "Momma would have my ass. You quit years ago, Pop." "Sure I did. All but one or two a week. Gimme one of those, son. Don't make me beat you in front of your horse." "Oh, no. I wouldn't want Boo to see that." He handed over a smoke and a lighter, knowing it was useless to argue. Pop lit up and blew out a stream of smoke before saying anything else. Then he nudged Brooks with his elbow. "You missing your folks?" "Some, yeah. It's not as hurtful as it used to be, but it never does go away." "No, sir. I miss my momma every day, to this day." Another stream of smoke issued forth. "Makes a man a figure out his priorities when people he loves die. I just wanted to make sure you know, I expect you to be good to my boy." His jaw dropped, and now he stared over. "I…" "Don't get me wrong, son. I expect him to be good to you. But don't be doing him like that woman did." "No, sir. I promise. He's it for me." Clearing his throat and rumbling, Pop sent the cigarette flying to the ground to crush under his boot. "Well, I don't claim to understand it, Brooks, but if he's happy, and you're happy, I don't have to. Said my piece. You come on back up for pie when you're ready." Brooks nodded and lit another cigarette. "Yessir. See you in a bit."

Goddamn. For Evan's daddy, that was downright amazing. The man just didn't talk about his feelings, or anything else, come to that. Brooks checked the sky, making sure it wasn't fixin' to rain frogs. "He giving you a hard time?" "Lord!" He hadn't heard Evan coming at all. "Startle a man unto death why don't you?" "Oh, hush up and give me a smoke. What'd Pop want?" "A smoke and to tell me to be good to you or he'd kick my ass." "No shit? Well, hell, honey. I'm sorry." "Why?" Nudging hips, Brooks pushed Boo's nose away from his pockets. "He just loves you. Wants to make sure you don't get hurt again." "Well, I suppose…" Evan looked plumb flummoxed, just like Brooks had felt. "Doesn't matter. You know I…" Those gray eyes met his. "Right?" "I know, buddy. I know." Evan might not be able to say it now, but it didn't matter. Brooks knew it, for sure.

Chapter 8 The big dually pulled up outside his momma and pop's house at about four o'clock on New Year's Eve. Evan was out feeding critters when he heard the heavy diesel engine, and he wiped his forehead on the back of his arm, heading out to see who was come to visit. Far as he knew, Momma hadn't made any plans. They were just gonna play some board games and eat hot sausages and cheese and maybe have a fire in the old fireplace. 'Sides, no one they knew had a truck like that. When he saw the pink cowboy hat on the woman and the fancy suit on the man that got out of the truck, Evan started trotting, hoping to head Sandra off at the pass. Couldn't be anyone else. He reached the house about the time Sandra rapped on the door, and he tipped his hat at the feller with her. "Howdy. Sandra, good of you to come see your girl a week after Christmas. You didn't call." Sandra turned on him, a determined look in her blue eyes. "I was busy. This is my lawyer, Tom Alvarez." "Lawyer, huh?" Something else, too, from the looks of the way Tom's hand rode on Sandra's waist. "Well, what is it you want?" The door swung open, Momma peeking out. "Honey, the door was… Oh. Well. Sandra." "Mother Halloway. I'd like to see Chay, please." Momma stepped out on the porch, closing the door behind her. "Who's he?" she asked, jerking her thumb at Tom the lawyer. "That's her lawyer, Momma. She's come loaded for bear." "Huh." Tilting her curled and lacquered head, Momma looked at the lawyer, then back and Sandy. "I don't think so, Miss Thang. You'd come by yourself, I'd let you in my house, despite my better judgment. But you bringing a lawyer, fixin' to stir up all manner of hell? No, ma'am." His momma's eyes just snapped fire, and Evan couldn't have been more proud. "Now, Mother Halloway, I have a right to see her. I didn't get to at the Finals…"

"You have a right to make an appointment, let us know you're coming, and not be unsupervised. I have papers that say it," Momma said before Evan could open his mouth. "You just get on out of here." "Oh, no. I came to see my girl, and I will." Evan met Momma's eyes, nodding a little. Chay deserved to see her mother, no matter what the rest of them thought. Still, he stabbed a finger at the lawyer fella. "He stays out here. I don't want you dragging your boyfriends in and out." One perfectly plucked eyebrow went up. "Why not? You flaunt yours." "Oh, now. You can just get your sorry as in the truck and go!" "Momma, it's okay." He stared Sandra right in the eye. "You go in there; you'd best have a present for her. And I swear to God, if you say anything to her you oughtn't, I'll slap you with a lawsuit so fast it'll make his head spin," Evan growled, pointing to the suit. "What I do is my business, and Chay is perfectly okay with it." Sandy blinked at him, mouth opening and closing. Then she turned on her heel and marched back to the truck, waiting with crossed arms for the lawyer to open the door for her. "I forgot her gift. You can count on me being back." "Uh-huh." He sneered. "That's what you said the first time you left us. Now you git." "I'll ruin you, Brooks. See if I don't. Your cowboy buddies won't be so happy to see you in the locker room when they know you like to take it up the ass," she shouted, hopping into the truck and slamming the door. The big truck roared off without the lawyer having said a word. That was just the kind of man Sandra needed. Evan never had been worth a damn at letting her do all the talking. *** "You worried?" Brooks finally asked when he and Ev were alone, Chay tucked away in bed with her new pink bunny, Momma and Pop sound asleep after trying to make it to midnight. "More mad, I guess." Evan sighed, curling in closer to his side and pulling the quilt over them. Warm and damp from their shower, Evan felt good. "Well, she can't hurt us, honey." He knew Evan planned to talk to his lawyer on Monday about Chay staying at Momma and Pop's, about her starting school and all. He also knew that it hurt Evan's heart to think about leaving Chay when he went to work.

"You think? I don't know, Brooks. You know how shit works…" "I know if we don't flaunt it, we'll be fine." He truly believed that. Hell, wasn't a cowboy he knew who hadn't either given or taken a hand from a buddy when they really needed it. "You just don't worry on it." "I'll try not to." Evan turned on his side, hand sliding down Brooks' belly. The touch made him suck in his breath, made his belly quiver. It amazed him, how quick and hot he could react to Evan after years of doing without. Beautiful man. "You need some help there, buddy?" Evan asked, thumb and fingers wrapping around the base of his fast hardening cock. Brooks nodded, arching up, only then realizing they still had the light on. It was kinda… naughty, more because they were in Momma and Pop's house than anything. It was a lot hot, too. "I so do. You need some help, too? To just forget a while?" "I do." Moving so they could both reach, Evan brought their cocks together, one hand closing around their lengths. "Christ that feels good." "Uh-huh. Fucking hot, Brooks." Those pretty gray eyes met his, Evan staring right into him, lips open on a hot exhale. "You know it." He reached down and wrapped his hand around Ev's, stroking harder, faster, needing to just get off, to see Evan's eyes lost in lovin' and not worry. They rocked, their hips moving hard, their cocks sliding together with slick force. His thumb hit the head of Evan's cock, purely by accident, but it made Evan moan, made the man bite down on Brook's shoulder to stifle a loud cry, and that was all Brooks could take. He came hard, his own shout trapped in his throat, his body shaking like someone had touched him with a live wire. Evan's eyes snapped shut, squeezing down just like his hand and Evan's fingers squeezed their cocks, and before another moment passed, Evan came for him, too. Hot, wet, Evan's come fell on his belly, making Brooks stifle another moan in a long, hard kiss. Damn. Just… damn. They curled together, hands still holding on to their privates, and Evan just put his head down and went to sleep. Brooks kissed the top of that dark head and said a little cowboy prayer that the New Year would go on as it started. Seeing nothing but Sandra's back. And Evan's front. ***

"But, Daddy! Why do I have to stay here? I always go with you!" Chay was sitting on the front porch swing, pushing her feet back and forth, her little boots sparkling with rhinestones. She was a girly girl like her mother, but he hoped to hell she had his heart. "I know, baby. I'm just going to Ft. Worth. I'll be back before you know it. Besides, you have school." Thank God Chay fit right in at school. Out by Momma and Pop it was all rural, and the kids did 4H and all of the fair stuff so Chay wasn't unusual at all like she would be in town. Took her a little longer to get to school on the bus, but she looked so cute with her little backpack and her jeans and all that he couldn't be more tickled. Or more proud. "Well, you could at least leave me Brooks," she said, sticking her lower lip out. "You've got Nana and Pop-Pop. What am I gonna do without Brooks? Huh? I need him to cheer me on." He needed Brooks for damned near everything these days. Spending time with his lover had become his number two priority in life, right behind Chay. Used to, rodeo had been second. "Well, I still think it sucks." "You watch your mouth." "Yessir." Chay pouted a bit more before taking another tack. "Daddy, is this because Momma said she'd ruin you?" Lord. He and Momma would never forgive themselves for letting Chay hear all that. Pop had been napping, Brooks working out back, and Chay had been listening at the door. "No. We it's because your old daddy ain't so smart and thinks you need to go to school. You like school." "I like Kallie okay. And Eve. Boys are dumb, though." "See? Your daddy's a boy." He grinned, cinching down the last rope on the truck bed. It was prone to icy rain this time of year, and he wanted to keep shit dry. "So, you gonna forgive me?" "Only if you come back and take me on the circuit for the summer. You promised." "Have I ever once broken a promise to you if it was in my ability to keep it?" Climbing the steps, Evan settled on the swing next to Chay, grabbing her and giving her a noogie. "Daddy!" she shrieked. "Not my hair." Chortling, she fought him off, little hands pushing and poking. Then she stopped and stared at him. "Cross your heart."

He obediently made an X over his heart, solemnly meeting her eyes. "I cross my heart." "I love you, daddy." Flinging herself into space, Chay launched herself like she never once thought he might drop her. God willing, he'd always have that. "I love you, too. I'll be home soon." "And Brooks, too?" "And Brooks, too." He wasn't leaving Brooks behind. "Good. I'll make you potato soup." Kissing the top of her head, Evan laughed. "Make Brooks some pie." "I will. Come home soon, Daddy." "I will, baby. I promise." Lord love him, he'd run himself ragged trying.

Chapter 9 The arena was bustling, the whole place lit up like the Fourth of July, the area behind the chutes buzzing with cowboys and judges and security. Ft. Worth was the biggest of the winter stock shows, with the whole stockyards area of the city full to the rafters of cowfolk, wannabes and good old boys. Brooks loved it. He loved the smell of dirt and animals, the dull background roar of the crowd, and the sound of the announcer booming up front. Hauling his ass up the metal gate, Brooks stepped over, heading along the back of the chutes with his rigging. He was up in three more rides, and he needed to get a look at the big, rawboned mare he was gonna buck. Conversation stopped a moment when he got to the little pod of cowboys next to his chute, four sets of eyes looking him over carefully. It had been that way the whole two days he and Evan had been at the rodeo, the guys all a little slow to talk to them, all a little wary. Sandra had done what she could. It was up to him and Evan to undo it. "Howdy, fellers," Brooks said, stepping right on up like he had nothing to hide, because by damn, he didn't. "Logan. Good ride last night." "Thanks, Brooks. How's it going?" "Fair to middlin'. You?" "Good enough." Steph Watson muttered something and moved on, cheeks hot and eyes down, but Logan and Abel and old Kyle Durkie hung out and helped him saddle up, helped him get the mare blocked in the chute. He figured that was a pretty good average. "Where's Ev?" Logan finally asked, helping him settle down on the mare's back, knees first so she knew he was coming." "Andy Lopez's roping partner didn't make it last minute, so he asked Ev to rope with him next round. You know he'll never turn it down if the fee's paid." Logan grinned for him, the look as easy and normal as you please. "No shit. I wouldn't either. Is he doing saddle bronc later?"

"He is, and I'm riding bulls." "Well, if you need any help, holler." Clapping him on the back, Logan went and unhooked his own rigging from the gate, whistling up a jaunty tune. Kyle held his vest and Abel helped keep the mare's head in place, and Brooks figured that wasn't a bad average at all. He'd never much liked Steph anyway. *** Evan put Boo through his paces, the old gelding rarin' to go after having some time off. He figured he was doing pretty good considering that the silly horse usually tried to bite the toes off anyone who wasn't Brooks, at least for the first five minutes. Andy Lopez rode his mare in the opposite direction, their paths crossing on every round. They finally slowed, then stopped, turning the horses so they fell in step, walking back toward the arena to wait for the bareback bronc riding to finish. He'd been tickled as hell that Andy had asked him to the team roping, especially after the stilted way half the boys were treating him and Brooks. "So, anyone tried to kick your ass yet?" Andy asked, making him jerk Boo's reins a little too hard. "Huh? Uh. No. Not yet." "Well, sure as hell someone will, Ev. Just like they did Lowell and Kirby." "Lowell and Kirby? No kidding? They was…" "Uh-huh." Evan had never even known that about the two retired riders Andy was talking about. Shit, maybe there was hope for him and Brooks yet. "What'd they do?" "They fought back, got their asses kicked, and that was that. Took their licks." "So, if I let the assholes who don't approve beat me down I'll be okay?" "Nope." Dark-dark eyes met his. "Not saying that. You asked, is all. I'm just saying, don't let them take you down no-how without a fight." "Thanks, Andy. I won't."

They headed into the back of the timed event area just in time to see Brooks ride, and damned if the man didn't do it straight out, making the eight seconds and spurring with style. "How about eighty-one points!" the announcer boomed, the speakers crackling madly. Evan cheered, and Boo perked up like he knew that was his favorite human out there, limping off with one hand on his butt. Evan sure knew it. He'd be giving that poor sore butt a massage later. "You ready, man?" Andy asked, clicking to his mare. "You bet." They didn't end up in the money for the go-round, but they were still in the running for the average by the time it was all over, and Evan felt better with the way things were going for him and Brooks. They'd either have to take their licks or not. One way or the other, he had a two thousand pound bull that he was far more worried about kicking his ass. *** The bull bucked Evan off, and Brooks had taken a fall himself, so they were a black and blue pair when they limped into the bar that night, looking to just have a beer and some corn dog nuggets. Logan waved at them from a table full of gimme caps. "Guys! Over here." They were incredibly careful not to touch on the way over, Evan taking a chair two down from his, both of them squeezing in where they could. "Hey, boys," Brooks said, smiling all around. "Can a banged up cowboy get a beer?" "You know it," Logan said. "Got a little western in the bull riding today, huh?" "Shit. That bull tried to tromp my ass into the ground." "Yeah, and Evan took a hit, too," Logan pointed out, smiling over and waving at the little referee costumed waitress. "A couple of Bud Lights for these boys, honey." Evan shook his head. "Andy said it was a good thing he didn't hit nothin' important. We got to rope again tomorrow." "Yeah, good thing he just hit your head," Ty Amos said with a grin.

They chatted, the guys all seeming easy and happy to let them hang out, just like always. Wasn't until Brooks got up to go to the bathroom that anything changed or anyone let on that the news as out. That was when Steph Watson cornered him but the urinal. "Didn't know you was a queer, Brooks. And Evan was married to the hottest snatch in the universe. What's wrong with him?" Sighing, Brooks took off his hat and laid it carefully on the sink, brim up. He hadn't had time to change into a gimme cap, and he didn't want his hat ruined. "Well, Steph, I'm guessing he thought your ass was too skanky to go after." Just like he knew it would, that brought Steph's fist right at his face, and Brooks was happy as hell that he had less beer in him than the other guy. He ducked, punching right up into Steph's gut, hitting just over the belt buckle. His fist made a great sound when it went in, and Steph made an even better sound, grunting hard. Brooks' didn't get to relish the satisfaction much, because Steph's closed fist crashed down on his the back of his neck, making him see stars. They traded punches, finally ending up grappling and switching off body blows. Steph caught him right on the lip when they broke off to breathe, and Brooks had finally had enough. He stomped his boot heel right up against Steph's bad right knee, sending the man crashing to the tile floor, howling. "Don't you forget that I've known you since back in the day, Steph Watson," Brooks said, hands on his knees as he bent over, taking in great whoops of air. "I know where all your bad spots are. I been good to you over the years. Don't you try nothin' like this again." Steph just nodded, sitting there on that nasty floor and blinking at him. "Sorry, Brooks." "Bullshit you are." He stood all the way up and clapped his hat back on his head, wiping blood from the corner of his mouth. "Don't get up," he said when Steph tried to climb to his feet. "I'll just knock you down again." He marched on out, heading right back to the table and throwing a few tens down. "I'm heading to bed, ya'll. Night." The sound of Evan's chair scraping back came right away, his lover falling right into step beside him but not saying a word until they got outside, away from the view of the bar. "What happened, honey?" Evan asked, handing him a kerchief. Brooks dabbed at his mouth. "Steph Watson. He gave me some shit today, and he was waiting for me in there."

"Goddamn. I'm sorry, babe." "I'll live. I made my point. He was the one on the floor." "Yeah. Andy Lopez said we'd just have to take our licks." "Did he?" Punching the button for the elevator, Brooks shifted from foot to foot, sore as a bear woke up before winter was over. "Yup. Did you know Lowell Marks and Kirby Granger were… were like us?" Brooks stared at Ev, who pushed their floor button. "Shit no. Did you?" "Nope. And no one acted like it, neither. I figure we just have to wait out the few who disapprove, you know?" "Well, hell, that makes me feel better." No matter what his lip was telling him. "Yeah, I thought so, too." Evan didn't touch him at all until they got into the room. Then the man grabbed him and just held on, warm and lean and comforting against him. "I'm sorry, babe." "What for? I'd rather them all know, truth be told. We still got to be careful, but this way if we slip it ain't no surprise." He hugged Evan right back, kissing the side of Evan's neck. "Come on and take a shower with me. Take out some of the sore." They had a nice, long shower like they couldn't have at Momma and Pop's, soaping up twice, letting the steam ease them. Evan soothed each one of his bruises, making him feel like a king, taking out most of the ow. They slept curled together, neither of them willing to let go when they had the chance to touch and love, and Brooks woke with Evan right there, clinging like a vine. Stiff and sore, he shifted, trying to get comfortable, and Evan woke up to look at him, sleepy gray eyes smiling right into his. No matter what else happened, Brooks knew right then and there that they'd be okay. One way or the other.

Chapter 10 It wasn't until the Austin rodeo in March that Evan saw Sandra again.

They'd been to Ft. Worth, Denver and Houston, winning just enough money at each to keep them afloat. Not a lot had changed, really. He and Brooks had always thrown in their money together, and they were traveling with Boo in the trailer so either one of them could rope if need be. Austin was rainy, the fair slow as all hell, but the funnel cakes were good, and Evan chowed down on one with cinnamon and sugar, while Brooks had one with that weird yellow cream. They sat under a tent at the end of a picnic table that wobbled like a Jell-O mold, and laughed at the antics of the little girl with the golden braids that looked so much like Chay. Momma'd said she and Chay and Pop would drive down to Austin on Friday night and see the two weekend performances, which Evan and Brooks were both doing at least two events in. He was looking forward to seeing his baby; Evan missed her like a sore tooth, but she loved school, and she wasn't unhappy at all, so he knew he'd done the right thing. They'd just finished up eating when the shapely shadow fell on them, Sandra standing there, hands on her hips. "Well, if it isn't the Brokeback Mountain boys," she spat out, eyes flashing blue fire. Evan sort of stared, the thought that he'd always gone for blue eyes occurring to him, not for the first time. Brooks' eyes were far more kind. "Well, hey, Sandra," Brooks said when Evan couldn't make himself talk. "Forget your broom?" "Did you get the letter from my lawyer?" Sandra demanded, ignoring Brooks altogether. "Uh-huh. Did you get the restraining order from my momma?" he shot back, standing up, knowing he looked good. Strong. Healthy and ready to take her on. "You bastard. How could you do that to Chay? She needs me." "She needs people who love her, Sandy. You never have." "You fucking queer bastard! You're the one who never loved me! You always wanted him. How do you think the boys would like to hear that?" She stabbed one pink fingernail at Brooks, who got up, too, and came around to stand next to him. "You'd best keep your voice down, Sandra," Logan said from behind them, making Evan turn and stare.

"Yup. Sounds like you're the one with the problem," Andy Lopez agreed. "Evan and Brooks, they're good with us. You're the one on thin ice. Ain't no sense you spreading your venom around when no one wants to listen." "I…" Sandra looked around, eyes widening at the crowd she'd drawn, maybe twenty stonefaced cowboys standing around, arms crossed, legs braced wide. "Steph Watson. Are you going to let them get away with talking to me like this?" Steph shrugged. "Me and Brooks, we had our say. It's all good." "Oh, Jesus. I can't believe y'all. How can you…" "That's enough, Sandy. Let it go. You ain't gonna ruin me, and you ain't gonna get Chay. You tell that lawyer man of his that if he wants babies, he's gonna have to make you have more." Sandra's eyes went wide and a little wet, and Evan knew he'd hit it right on the head. He almost felt bad for her because he knew she'd never put any thought into what she'd done beyond what she wanted. She never did. Her face crumpled a little, her hands clenched into fists, Then she turned and walked away, her head held high, her heart-shaped ass swinging so more than half of their little crowd tilted their head to watch. Evan felt deep down in his gut that he'd never see her again. It made him hurt for Chay, but at the same time it was a fucking relief. One by one the rest of the cowboys left them, not one of them saying another word, just nodding at them, Logan the last to walk off, clapping Evan on the shoulder. Brooks looked over at him, one white blond eyebrow going up. "Well, what do you think of that?" he asked. "I think we're pretty damned lucky that Sandra is in the wrong." Poor Sandy. Always reaching for the brass ring. All that glittered wasn't gold.

Epilogue "Look, Daddy! Look at me ride!" Evan stood with one foot on the rail, staring at Chay, who was riding in her first junior rodeo in a week, and was practicing her barrels on the new sorrel mare Momma and Pop had gotten her. The little mare was the perfect size for a ten year old girl, and would hold Chay into her late teens. "You lead the barrel, honey. Don't let her veer off. Look where you want her to go next!" Chay nodded, braids flying, a look of complete determination on her face. She looked so much like Sandra that sometimes it scared him, but she had all of her momma's charm and very little of Sandra's selfish way. He couldn't be prouder of her. "She looks good, huh?" Brooks asked, leaning next to him, cigarette dangling out of the corner of his mouth. "She does. Thanks for helping the folks pick out the mare." "Well, I looked at a lot of horses after Boo…" Poor old Boo had stumbled at the last local rodeo, the one in Taylor, breaking one of the tiny bones in his leg. It had near broke Brooks' heart to put him down, and it had almost killed Evan to see Brooks hurtin' like that. Still, they'd gotten them a six year old gelding with legs by Ferrari and the brains of the best kind of cow horse, so it was all good. Boo had sure had a good run. Now it was time for them to give Homer his shot. "You ever sorry we got rid of the place in New Mexico?" Brooks asked, copping a feel of his butt out of sight of Chay. "Nah. I miss it sometimes, the high desert. But we go traveling enough that I get my fill." They'd moved close to his folks, so Chay could go to the same school and only stay with Momma and Pop when they weren't home. He and Brooks had both gotten into doing odd jobs and only traveling to about half the rodeos they used to. "Me too," Brooks said quietly, stubbing out the cigarette. One lean hand fell on his shoulder, squeezing. "I do love you, babe." His heart swelled in his chest, watching his baby girl ride, having the one man he loved more than just about anything standing right there with him. Having a life that he loved, no

matter how old he got and how bad he got at riding was just the biggest joy one man could contain inside him. He looked over, meeting Brooks' eyes and nodding. "I love you, Brooks. You can bank on it." There. He'd said it out loud, in the light of day, for God and everyone to hear. Brooks blinked, mouth opening, but it was Chay the both turned to look at when she hollered at them again. "Daddy! Brooks! Watch me." So they did. They'd have plenty of time for the rest. All their lives. For now they'd just watch Chay sparkle and shine.

End