Son of a Ditch

Colby Dawson returns to his southern hometown after serving his country in the U.S. Air Force. Emotionally scarred by a broken relationship, the last thing he wants is another man in his life. But he doesn’t count on falling in love with childhood best friend, Kyle McCoy, now a local deputy sheriff. Their relationship seems almost too charmed until a corrupt governor attempts to locate a state prison next door to Colby’s family home. His prominent father and brothers organize an illegal protest effort that will force Colby to choose between loyalty to his family -or to the partner and lover who may have to arrest them. Not only is Colby and Kyle’s relationship in jeopardy, one of them will fight for his very life while the other must confront his guilt.

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M. Jules Aedin

Maura Anderson

Victor J. Banis

Jeanne Barrack

Laura Baumbach

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Sarah Black

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Michael Breyette

P.A. Brown

Brenda Bryce

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J.L. Langley

Josh Lanyon

Elizabeth Lister

Clare London

William Maltese

Gary Martine

Z.A. Maxfield

Timothy McGivney

Lloyd A. Meeker

Patric Michael

AKM Miles

Reiko Morgan

Jet Mykles

William Neale

Willa Okati

L. Picaro

Neil S. Plakcy

Jordan Castillo Price

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son of A

Ditch

Book Two of the HOME Series

WiLLiAM neALe

mlrpress

www.mlrpress.com

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Copyright 2011 by William Neale All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Published by MLR Press, LLC 3052 Gaines Waterport Rd. Albion, NY 14411 Visit ManLoveRomance Press, LLC on the Internet: www.mlrpress.com Cover Art by Deana C. Jamroz Editing by Kris Jacen Print format ISBN# 978-1-60820-391-8 Also available in ebook format ISBN#978-1-60820-392-5 Issued 2011

This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of International Copyright Law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines and/or imprisonment. This eBook cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this eBook can be shared or reproduced without the express permission of the publisher.

foReWoRD I want to thank all the readers who took a chance on an unknown author and made my first novel, Home, such a success. Your feedback and encouragement was confirmation that maybe I really can call myself an author. I will always be grateful. Son Of A Ditch is my third novel and the second book in the Home series. While not a sequel in strict terms, it will hopefully bring closure to many of the questions I’ve received about “what happens” to the major characters in Home—men with whom I too fell in love. I appreciate your additional vote of confidence in purchasing Son Of A Ditch. As always, I invite and value your comments, suggestions, and ideas. WN

To good mamas everywhere and especially the one who made me believe I could accomplish anything.

PRoLogue “Charlie, you and I have known each other for thirty years and I thought we were friends. What you’re telling me now will destroy me politically!” Calvin Simpson, mayor of the city of Moorestown, Tennessee glared at Charles McFall, State Senator from Moorestown and the Republican minority whip in the Tennessee Senate. “Calvin, we are friends. That’s the only reason we’re all here. I am trying to get us all on the same page but—” “Senator, please allow me to interrupt and tell the good mayor the way it is,” said Carson Foreman, the Democratic Speaker of the House of the Tennessee House of Representatives, a position he had held for over a decade. “We’re going to build a new state university somewhere in East Tennessee. At least seven or eight towns want it. We also need to build a new state prison which zero towns want. The deal is if you get the college, you also take the prison. They go hand in hand. In the interest of bipartisanship, I’m doing my old friend Charlie here a big favor letting Moorestown have first dibs on the school.” “You’re blackmailing the City of Moorestown,” Simpson snapped. “You and I both know that we’re the biggest city in the state without a state college or university. By all rights, we should have this school and, I might add, we stand the best chance of making it successful. We may have only seventy thousand people living in the city but we’re the employment, business, shopping, and medical hub for over four-hundred-thousand people in the surrounding Lakeway Region. That is what will ensure the success of this college.” “Nice speech, Mayor, but don’t confuse the argument with facts. Frankly, I don’t give a shit where this college goes. I had to agree to it so we could get the other new school located in West Tennessee. As far as I’m concerned, East Tennessee should be given back to North Carolina. Then we wouldn’t have to deal

2 William Neale with all you Republican hillbillies.” Simpson knew he was being called out by a political master and that it was a test to determine if he was worthy of the man’s respect. “Frankly, Mr. Speaker, I didn’t realize there were enough literate people in Memphis to justify offering them higher education.” “That’s a racist slur, sir, and I don’t appreciate it. But I’m not surprised that the mayor of a wide place in the road like Moorestown is a hood-wearing bigot.” “You made the connection between literacy and race, Carson—not me—so what does that say about its veracity? And you’re calling a blacker man than you a hood-wearing bigot?” Simpson laughed at the irony. “That kind of race-baiting horseshit might get you the crack whore vote in Memphis but the rest of the state is just going to call you Jesse Lite.” “Gentlemen, let’s please take it down a few notches,” said McFall, the one white man in the Speaker’s Nashville office. “There’s no need to resort to name calling. What we’re trying to do here is to find middle ground—where everybody walks away with what they want.” “That’s all warm and fuzzy, Charlie,” said Simpson, “but it’s also full of crap. You’ve obviously already made a deal with the devil here but you need me to pull it off. So, let’s put our cards on the table. Should I remind both of you that when I tell Moorestown how you two are fucking it over a fat log, neither one of you will get a single vote this fall? Charlie, your political career will be over and Carson, whatever gubernatorial aspirations you have will get nowhere in East Tennessee.” “Cal, the Democrats are calling the shots on this. I had to call in all kinds of personal favors just to get Moorestown to the top of the list for the college. But my hands are tied. I can’t deliver it to Moorestown without also taking the prison. The Speaker here has the votes and he controls the budget.” “Listen, Calvin, getting bigots in Moore County to vote for me for governor is not high on my list of expectations. It’s solid

son of A Ditch 3 hillbilly Republican and I’m fucked there whether I send ’em a college or not.” “Despite the fact that I don’t like or trust you, Carson, I’ll grant that you’re a very smart man; which is why I’m surprised you don’t see the political opportunity here. For starters, these socalled ‘bigots’ you’re talking about are overwhelmingly white and they’ve elected a black man mayor three times now by landslide margins. They’ll vote for you too if you give them a good reason. So if you want their votes, why would you poison your campaign by showing your hand before you have to? Why not become a hero and send us the college? That decision alone will get you at least a hundred thousand more votes in East Tennessee. Then once you’re in office—if you must—then announce we’re also getting the prison. I actually have a site near our city landfill that might work quite nicely and nobody in my town will even know it’s there. But I can’t do a tit for tat deal up front.” “You think I’m that naïve? You’re betting that I won’t get elected governor and that I’m dumb enough to send you the college now and let you take all the political gain. If I don’t win the governor’s chair, you win both ways because we all know that no Republican governor is going to stuff a prison down the throats of his strongest political base.” “Which is why you’re not sending this new prison anywhere near your own political base even though that would be way closer to the homes of both the occupants and their visitors.” “Gentleman, once again, let’s please reel this in and try to find a solution,” McFall said. “All right, Mayor,” Foreman said. “My polling says I should win this election if I do pick up some extra votes in East Tennessee. Maybe we can both benefit from what you’re saying. Tell you what. You endorse my campaign for governor and I’ll give Moorestown the college now and the prison once I’m elected.” “No deal. You’re black, I’m black, and my constituency is white. You know what they’ll think. You first give Moorestown the college, then and only then will I endorse you. I will tell my people that I don’t agree with your policies but cannot not support

4 William Neale you based on your tremendous gift to our region. But how do we know Governor Atkinson is gonna buy into this?” “Who gives a shit about Bart? He’s a lame duck who has already retired on the job. So Mayor, if I agree to this, what will you tell all the good white folk in your town when I’m in the governor’s mansion and announce you’re getting a prison on this site you’re talking about?” “That you’re a goddamn son of a bitch two-faced lying Democrat from Memphis who oughta be impeached then hung from a tree by his balls.” “Calvin…” Foreman grinned and shook his head. “I think I can do business with you. No wonder they say you’re one of the best lawyers in the state.”

111 “That was not the most pleasant experience I’ve ever had, Calvin,” Charlie McFall said as they walked down the long hallway leading from the Speaker’s chambers. “How are we going to explain a prison in Moorestown?” “Jobs, Charlie. Lots of ’em in a region that needs them. We just can’t let anyone think we actually don’t mind having it. If they put it out there next to the landfill it won’t be in anybody’s backyard and our people won’t object—at least not too much. Besides, I’ll make you a prediction right here and now. We’ll get the new college but there will never be a state prison built in Moore County, Tennessee.”

chAPteR one Colby Dawson stepped off the bus and waited for the driver to open the luggage storage compartment on the vehicle’s road-gritted lower side. He looked around the nearly deserted municipal parking lot and thought the scene would make a pretty poor first impression on someone arriving in Moorestown for the first time. He, on the other hand, was home again. Weeds and gone-to-seed grasses thrived through alligator cracks in the asphalt, evidence that few cars ventured here anymore. Parking meters from the seventies still stood; or more accurately, leaned. When the big shopping mall opened out near the Interstate, the downtown merchants association removed half of them in a feeble and futile attempt to compete with the mall’s free parking. Now most of the merchants had either moved to the mall or simply closed their doors. These days, the lot was used mostly by the Greyhound bus terminal and the old Coachlight Inn hotel. Colby noticed that the bus station’s sign still only said “hound.” The “Grey” part had been ripped off during a supposed tornado many years earlier. The bus company and the building owner had argued over who was responsible for replacing it and apparently neither side was yet willing to budge. His large military-issue duffle now retrieved, he returned the driver’s friendly wave as the bus departed. Colby didn’t even mind the blast of diesel exhaust fumes that burned his nostrils. It was almost cleansing compared to the quality of air he’d breathed for the past fourteen hours—that of old sweat, discarded baby diapers, half-eaten salami sandwiches, and cheap perfume applied in excess to presumably mask other odors, either real or imagined. Colby considered his options. Yes, he was home, so the logical thing to do would be to call his father or one of his brothers to come pick him up. Or, he could call the town’s only taxi service, but he wasn’t looking forward to the drama that would surely be

6 William Neale attached to his arriving without having warned anybody he was coming home. It was an unusually warm early April day. More like midJune, he thought. He decided to just walk the three miles home since he’d been sitting on his ass on the bus for so long. The sun felt great on his shoulders and sweat was already soaking the armpits of his Air Force t-shirt. He doffed it and threaded one end through a belt loop in the back of his jeans. Slipping his arm through the duffle’s strap, he hefted the heavy canvas bag over his shoulder and across his broad back. As he headed out of the parking lot, Colby took a deep breath of air he hadn’t inhaled in over two years. Despite his conflicted emotions about returning, it still smelled like home. Tender new grass mown for the first time of the season. Sweet scents drifting from a nearby lilac bush. The earthy, pungent rot of freshly distributed mulch—probably from the First Tennessee Bank branch next door. And, best of all, and especially tempting to his growling stomach, the greasy hint of something Southern-fried and delicious cooking a block away at Ina and Aden’s Downtown Diner. It was one of the few downtown businesses that still thrived. Or at least he hoped it still did. The dogwood, redbud, and serviceberry trees were at peak color across the hills and ridges here at the base of the Great Smoky Mountains. It was a brilliantly splendid spring day in East Tennessee and, Colby decided, a good omen. When he’d left Washington D.C. the previous night, it had been cold and raining, an appropriate metaphor for what he hoped to forget, perhaps forgive, and at minimum, to at least put behind him. Colby took a shortcut through a back alley that only a native son could know was a straight shot to the highway leading home. If only life worked as easily.

111 Detectives Clay Landon and Andrew “Tag” Taggart drove in their unmarked police car along Highway 25E on the way back to the department headquarters in downtown Moorestown. They

son of A Ditch 7 passed a dark-haired and shirtless twenty-something man walking on the side of the road in the opposite direction. He carried a large green khaki duffle bag across his back as effortlessly as if it had instead been a lightweight jacket or sweater. “Make a U, Tag,” Clay said, “and make a show of it. Burn some rubber.” “What the hell? What for? He wasn’t doing anything wrong.” Clay turned on the portable blue flashing light on the dash. “I know that guy. I went to high school with him. He used to be one of my best buddies before he went into the Air Force.” “So why are you after him now? He better not be some old boyfriend.” “Oh, come on, Taggy. Just play along. When we stop behind him, I’m gonna stay in the car and act like I’m radioing for backup. He doesn’t know you, so get out and play hard ass. Treat him like he’s wanted for a crime. Make him assume the position.” “All right, if you say so, partner.” Wearing the coat and tie uniform of a MPD detective, Tag got out of the car with his hand ready to withdraw the service revolver from the holster slung around his shoulder. “Drop the bag on the ground and put your hands in the air,” he said forcefully. “Hell no, until you tell me who you are,” Colby responded. Tag flashed his badge with his left hand. “Moorestown Police. I’m telling you one more time. Hands in the air and behind your head.” Colby dropped the bag and did as ordered. “What did I do? I wasn’t hitchhiking. Is there a law against walking?” “Shut up, put both hands on the car, and assume the position. You’re in serious trouble, buddy.” “I don’t understand. I just got into town and came straight from the bus station. You obviously have the wrong guy.” “Yeah, funny how they always say that.”

8 William Neale “Yeah,” said Clay, now out of the car, wearing dark and reflective Ray Ban sunglasses and moving behind Colby before the man could get a good look. “All the scum-bucket drug dealers tell us that. I just got off the bus,” he said in mocking sing-song. “Detective Taggart, would you pat him down for weapons or contraband?” “I don’t have any weapons or contraband,” Colby said, now a slight edge of panic in his voice as Tag began the routine. “Please let me open my bag and show you there’s nothing illegal in it. I’ll also show you my bus ticket and the time of arrival. I’ve been in town less than an hour.” “Find anything, Detective?” Clay asked. “No, not on his external person. Maybe we should do a strip search.” “What!” Colby yelled. “No way!” “Drop those jeans, asshole,” Clay barked, “and your underwear too. Once we get you naked, we’ll have to do a cavity search.” “I don’t believe this! I can’t strip naked here on the side of the road.” “You should have thought about that before you hid that kilo of Tina up your ass.” “What?” “Course if Colby Dawson had the slightest lick of sense in that good lookin’ head of his, he would have let his old buddy know he was coming home.” Colby flipped around to see two broadly smiling faces. “Gotcha, Cole.” Clay said as he took off his sunglasses and held out his arms in invitation. Colby shook his head in mock disgust. “Why you good for nothing prick. You nearly made me shit out that kilo of Tina!” He rushed to Clay for the awaiting buddy hug from his old friend. Tag took a step back in silent observation of both the intensity and the length of the embrace between this sickeningly

son of A Ditch 9 handsome shirtless stranger and the man with whom he shared a bed every night. Who is this Colby person—apparently “Cole” to Clay—and why have I never heard his name mentioned? Tag looked at the man’s darkly stubbled square jaw now framed by a broad smile of perfect white teeth and noticed he’d closed his eyes during the hug. What straight man closes his eyes when he hugs another guy? And the way Clay’s hands stroked across the man’s rippled and shiny-with-sweat back muscles made Tag seethe with the desire to physically separate them and pull his man away in he­ belongs-to-me possession. “Damn, it’s good to see you, Clay!” Colby finally said after releasing him. “Yeah, so good to see you too, buddy. And I really am pissed you didn’t let me know you were coming. And why are you walking on the side of the highway? Couldn’t any of that big family of yours come get you?” “My choice. It’s a beautiful day and I needed the sun and the exercise. So who’s your partner in bad practical jokes here?” Yeah, partner, did you forget I’m standing right here? “Oh—sorry—where’s my manners? Colby Dawson meet Tag Taggart, and he is my partner. We’re both detectives for MPD now.” Tag looked into piercing cobalt eyes now focused on him that, at any other time, he would have found stunning. But—he grudgingly admitted—the combination of Colby’s stare along with that smile could snake-charm anyone—man or woman— anytime Colby chose to turn it on. Tag forced a smile and extended his hand. “It’s really nice to meet you, Tag,” Colby said with what seemed to Tag—at least on the surface—genuine warmth. “Now tell me. Just how do you stand working with such a major asshole?” “It’s a hazard of the occupation and they pay me extra ’cause nobody else will work with him.” Tag answered with forced affability. “But anyhow, it’s good to meet an old friend of Clay’s.” “Wow, and both of you are detectives. I remember when

10 William Neale you were just a rookie cop, Clay-Doh. You’re big time now. Congratulations!” Clay-Doh? Only I’m allowed to call him that. And they’ve apparently seen each other after Clay and I became a couple. Where was I at the time? “So how long are you back for?” Clay asked. “We have to get together for a beer and talk old times.” “I’m here for good—or at least the foreseeable future. I discharged a couple of weeks ago.” “That’s awesome. It’ll be so good to have you back home. We need to have him over for dinner ASAP, Tag.” “You guys live together?” “Yeah, it’s bad enough that I have to work with him,” Tag deadpanned, not altogether in jest at the moment. “We take care of Rogan James’ house over on Booker’s Mountain since he moved up north to Cleveland a few years ago,” Clay said. “He used to be the chief of police, didn’t he?” “No, he was the deputy chief, but he pretty much ran the place. He and his partner Lucas are still two of our closest friends. Listen, Cole, I hate to break this up but Tag and I are due back for a department meeting in a few minutes. Can we drop you off at home and make a date to get together sometime soon?” “No thanks to the first, and you bet to the second. I’d rather just finish my walk. Let me give you my cell number and you guys call me when you wanna set up something. And hey, Tag, especially good meeting you. I hope we’ll get to be good friends too.” Colby waved as the two guys drove away. He again hefted the heavy duffle onto his back and began the short half mile remaining. Why is my gaydar screaming? Are those two? No, couldn’t be. But they live together and Tag sure was putting out a strange vibe. Nah, what am I thinking? Two openly gay cops in Moorestown, Tennessee? I highly doubt it.

son of A Ditch 11

111 Colby paused a few hundred feet from his parents’ driveway. He laughed out loud when he spotted the two flying pig sculptures now flanking the entrance. They sat on top of Greek-inspired concrete columns anchoring each side of the drive, and had been added since he was last home. He recalled his mother’s large collection of pigs displayed on multiple shelves in her kitchen and shook his head at the sheer tackiness of what was obviously something she’d made her husband install. He put his shirt back on and shifted his focus higher up to the hilltop where the same husband had built his family’s home. Colby saw it now with fresh, world-traveled eyes and recognized it for what it really was: a sprawling and pretentious brick ranch house that was over-embellished with architectural elements blending both contemporary and colonial. And now—with the entry columns—a dash of Greek revival. The place may have once had noble design aspirations but its execution rendered a mish-mashed “McMansion” that would never be admitted into the old-money club of fine homes. Colby proceeded up the driveway’s incline but stopped and looked back again at the winged swine. He smiled a bit sardonically, almost hearing his late grandpa Dawson’s crusty, cigarette-hardened voice saying, “You can put a purty dress on a pig but in the end, you still got yourself a damn pig.”

111 “Hi, Mama.”

“Colby! Oh dear Lord!” The large copper stew pot Ruth

Dawson was drying fell to the tiled floor with a loud clang as she rushed to embrace her youngest son. “Oh my sweet baby, you’re home!” The wiry, diminutive woman buried her face in his chest and wrapped her arms around his mid-section. Or more accurately, only around half of his broad mid-section. Colby could feel her tears wetting his shirt as she clung to him as though fearful he would disappear just as suddenly as he had walked through the kitchen door. He even felt himself beginning

12 William Neale to tear up. And he’d forgotten how good she always smelled. Like a combination of lavender soap and a potpourri of kitchen spices. “Oh my goodness! You almost gave me a heart attack,” she gasped as she released him. “I can’t believe you’re home. How long is your leave?” “I’m out now. I discharged a couple of weeks ago.” “You didn’t tell me that when you called last time, but that’s the best news I’ve heard in a long time. Now come on in and sit down and talk to me. Are you hungry? Did you have lunch? Let me fix you something to eat.” “Actually, I’m kind of starved. All I’ve had is bus terminal food since yesterday and it was pretty bad.” “You rode a bus here?” “Yes ma’am, I did.” “But why would you do that? We would have gotten you a plane ticket and met your flight in Knoxville.” “I have the money for an air ticket, Mama. There was no hurry so I figured why spend more than I have to. Other than some of the passengers smelling kind of ripe, the bus ride was just fine, and I slept through most of it.” Ruth opened the refrigerator door and began pulling out cartons and Tupperware containers. “If I’d known you were coming I would have had a feast waiting on you as soon as you walked through the door instead of just warmed up leftovers.” “Your leftovers are five-star cuisine as far as I’m concerned.” She heaped spoonfuls of the cartons’ contents onto a plate. “Why thank you, sweetheart. Now tell me something. Why didn’t you let us know you were coming?” “Well I wasn’t sure exactly when I was going to be able to get away. I had some business to finish up before I left D.C., so I ended up buying the ticket once I got everything settled and just hopped the next bus to Knoxville.”

son of A Ditch 13 “I guess your cell phone wasn’t working then, huh?” “I’m sorry, Mama. I just figured I’d surprise you and Daddy. And see?” He reached down and picked up the pot still lying on the floor. “I made you drop your favorite kettle.” “Well the important thing is that you’re home for good now and I’ve got my baby boy back. I’m going to make all your favorites and fatten you up some because you look too thin to me.” “Come on. I weigh two hundred and twenty pounds.” “That’s because you’re tall and broad like your daddy. But there’s not an ounce of fat on you. I think you’d look healthier with a little more weight on your face.” “Well, as good as your cooking is, I’m sure that’ll happen.” “Is that your only luggage?” she pointed to the duffle bag Colby had dropped inside the door. “Yeah. I’ve got a moving van showing up day after tomorrow with the rest. I figured I’d store my furniture and stuff in the barn until I can find a place of my own.” “Why in the world would you do that?”

“Because I’m twenty-six years old and used to living on my

own.” “Each of your brothers lived here until they got married.” “Each of my brothers met their wives in college and got married right after they graduated.” “Well you’re different. You’re my baby. I want you here.” “Mama, I just got in the door so let’s please don’t argue about this, okay? So is Daddy at work?” he asked, intentionally shifting the topic. “Yes. He’s real busy these days. Business has been good. They got the contracts for the new middle school over on Manley Drive and the new wing and emergency room at the hospital.” “That’s great. I know he’s glad to get work in town so he doesn’t have to travel as much.”

14 William Neale “That’s true. But he and your brothers are also working on projects all over the state these days. I’m sure your old job is waiting for you whenever you want to join them.” “I don’t want my old job.” “But Dawson Construction is our business. You know Cy expects you and your brothers to keep it going once he and I retire.” “I have three brothers already working for him. That’s more than enough to keep his business going.” “But think how hurt he’ll be if he thinks you believe you’re too good to work for him.” “That’s not the case at all. I just want to do something else. You know as well as I do that Cy Jr. will take over for Daddy when he retires. And Caleb and Matt will be numbers two and three in charge. That leaves me still fixing heavy equipment engines the rest of my life. I wanna do something on my own where neither Daddy nor my brothers are my bosses.” “Dawson Construction is what made your daddy what he is. It built this house and put food on our table and clothes on your back.” “Mom, I’ve been home less than five minutes and you’re already starting on me again. You haven’t even asked me what it is I want to do, so please lighten up a little, okay? Like I said, I don’t want to argue with you on my first day home.” Ruth pulled a plate out of the microwave and placed it in front of Colby. “I hope you don’t mind leftover tenderloin, and you tell me if those mashed potatoes don’t taste right. I usually don’t like them after they’ve gotten cold in the refrigerator. And the peas came from last year’s garden. They were frozen and not fresh, so I’m sorry they won’t be as good.” “Mama, relax. This is a feast for me and it looks and smells delicious. Thank you.” “Then eat, honey, and I’ll make you something much better for dinner. Now tell me why you think you have to live somewhere

son of A Ditch 15 on your own.” “Mama, please. I’m a grown man now.” “You know it’s only because I love you and worry about your future. You know how much we didn’t want you joining the Air Force, and now you’ve already wasted eight years of your life.” Colby stopped in mid-bite, stiffened, and suppressed a sharp visceral reaction to her statement before swallowing and composing himself. “You know exactly why I went to the Air Force. And it’s taken me eight years to save enough to pay for what Daddy refused to do.” “I know, honey. But he thought he was doing the right thing for you.” “No, he did the right thing for each of my brothers.” “Colby, he loves you just as much as he loves them and you know that.” “In Daddy’s always correct and expert opinion, I was the only son out of four on which a college education would be wasted. That sure is a funny way of showing love.” “He thought you should go in a different direction and make use of your mechanical talent. You should hear how he still brags to people about you and calls you a genius at it. And he offered to pay for the state trade school in Nashville. You should be grateful.” “Grateful for a master mechanic’s certificate when Matt went to Nashville and got his MBA in finance from Vanderbilt? Listen, I don’t want to get into all this with you again, especially when I just got home. All I’m saying is that Cy Jr., Caleb, and Matt got opportunities that I didn’t. And I’ll be the first to say that you and Daddy can choose to spend your money however you want. But right now, I wouldn’t take a cent from him even if he begged me. I’m gonna pay for my college education, and when I do get my degree, the only person I’ll be obligated to is myself.” “Bitterness does not flatter you, Colby.” “It’s not bitterness; it’s just the way I am when I stand up for

16 William Neale a principle.” “Yes, I know. Lord, how I know. I married one stubborn, obstinate man and raised four more just like him. Honey, let me talk to Cy. He knows he made a mistake by not sending you to college. Or better yet, I’ll just do it myself. My name’s on those bank accounts too, so let me pay for it. Did you know the new Lakeway State University starts up this fall? You could live here and walk to classes right across the highway.” Colby used the last bite of a biscuit to sop the remaining juices from his plate. “And I plan on enrolling. But I won’t be living here and I won’t take money from you either. I’m grateful for both offers but I need to do this on my own.” She picked up the dish towel she had used to dry the stew pot and used it to dab at either real or pretended tears. Colby never knew for sure. “You must hate me and your daddy.” “Ah, come on, Mama, of course not. I love you and Daddy. Don’t cry.” Her tears abruptly stopped, much the way a light turns off when a switch is clicked. “So you’ll live here and let me help you with college?” Colby allowed himself a secret smile at the drama tactic she had used to get her way for as long as he could remember. “No, I won’t. Cry all you want, but the answer is no to both.” “Then I think I should call Cy and have him come home to deal with this.” Colby pushed his empty plate away and with a smile, shook his head—more amused than peeved. “I do cherish you, Mama. I just served eight years in the United States Air Force including two deployments to Iraq, and now you’re telling me to just wait till my father gets home?” He scooted his chair back and stood up, a decision made. “I can already see how it’s gonna be here. Thank you for everything, but I’m gonna go find me a place to stay where nobody’s telling

son of A Ditch 17 me what to do.” He opened the drawer where he knew all the spare keys were kept. “Tell Daddy I’m gonna borrow Grandpa’s old Dodge for a day or two until I can find wheels of my own.” “Colby, please. You can’t go someplace else. This is your home.” “Yes, this will always be my home but I’m gonna live on my own and make my own decisions. I love you and Daddy but you both need to get used to that.” He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her cheek, noting that this time the tears were genuine. He felt badly about making her cry but he had often seen how manipulative even her real tears could be. “Colby, I’m sorry. I’ll stop pressing you so hard and try to do a better job of listening.” “I appreciate that, Mama. But whatever pressing I got from you, Daddy’s gonna give me ten-fold, and you know that’s true better than me. It’s time both of you realized that your baby boy is now a grown man.” His voice remained even and gentle. “Once I find a place to park my bag, I’ll be back and spend some good catching up time with you and Daddy, okay?” “Will you be here for Sunday family dinner?” “Now how could I possibly miss your favorite day of the week? I can’t wait to see how much all my nieces and nephews have grown. And I really can’t wait to taste your chess pie again. You know that’s my favorite.” “I’ll bake an extra one so you can take it back with you to wherever you’ll be staying.” “That would be real nice. You’re the best mama on the planet, you know that?” He stooped down to kiss her cheek again. “Having you home again is all I care about, Colby. Please just promise me that you’ll stay for good this time. It would break my heart if you left again.”

chAPteR tWo “I’ll have the Tuesday meat loaf special,” Colby said to the waitress at Ina and Aden’s Downtown Diner as she placed a tall glass of sweet tea next to the paper napkin with his silverware wrapped inside. “You don’t remember me, do you, Colby?” “I’m sorry, I guess I don’t.” “It’s Becky. I was Becky Harrell then. We went to East High together. You were a year ahead of me. Remember?” “Oh yeah—Becky.” He had only a vague recollection of this person’s face. “How have you been?” “Just fine. Graduated, got pregnant, got married, had a little boy, got divorced, and now I’m a dentist’s receptionist in the daytime and wait tables here at night. Pretty much my life in one sentence. How about you?” “Just got out of eight years in the Air Force. That’s the one sentence for me.” “I probably shouldn’t tell you this—being your server and all—but I used to have a big crush on you.” “I’m real flattered, Becky. I never knew that.” “So what brings you back to town?”

“Just deciding what to do next.”

“And you’re here to stay now?”

“For the time being at least.”

“Well I don’t mean to sound forward but if you’re gonna be

here a while maybe we could become friends again.” Colby could not recall ever having been her friend. “Yeah, sure, I guess.” He wasn’t sure how to respond to what could have either been a come-on or merely “friends” at face value. “I don’t know if you’re seeing anybody right now but if you’re

20 William Neale not, maybe we could go for a beer or something when I get off work in a couple of hours. My mama keeps my boy for me during the week.” Okay, not “just friends.” “Thanks for the invite, Becky, but the thing is, I have a fiancé living up north. Sorry, but I can’t be going on dates with somebody else.” He was lying. He always lied when women came on to him, although it was usually in bars and not diners. The “fiancé” up north—or back home—had rescued him more than once. Becky sighed. “Ain’t that the way it always is? The good looking ones are always married, engaged, or gay. And you’re a real class guy to be true to your woman like that. But if you change your mind, it’s not like I need a commitment or anything. Maybe we could just go talk some for a while at my apartment?” “Afraid I just can’t do that, Becky. I’m kind of true blue when it comes to my honey. But I sure do appreciate you asking. You’re still just as pretty as ever.” “Oh, ain’t you just so sweet. I’ll go put in your order, darlin’.” “Good decision, Cole,” a familiar male voice said from behind him in a tone not loud enough to be overheard. “Becky’s a black widow spider looking for a husband. Once you fuck her, you’re dead.” Colby turned and saw a uniformed county deputy sheriff sitting at the booth on the other side. He must have just walked in. “Kyle?” “That would be me, my long-time-no-see buddy.” Colby stood up and leaned over the booth divider to extend the kind of awkward half hug that straight guys give each other in public. Releasing him, he sized up the sandy-haired man who had grown taller, lost the boyish face Colby remembered, and gained at least twenty pounds of what appeared to be solid muscle. He wore the short-sleeved, open-collared summer khaki uniform of

son of A Ditch 21 a Moore County deputy sheriff, which to Colby’s eyes, Kyle filled to the point of looking almost pornographic. “Damn, Kyle, I almost didn’t recognize you. You’re taller, your hair’s short now, and you’ve really bulked up, man. What’s it been? Three years?” “More like four. Last time we tried to get together was Christmas a couple of years ago. But you were here on a short leave and we couldn’t make the schedules work.” “Yeah, sorry about that. My family sort of kept me prisoner. But you’re looking really good. I just got in today but was gonna call you.” “You’re looking pretty buff yourself, hoss. Looks like you got a little sun today and I can tell you been pumping some iron too. Anyhow, I just got off duty and came in for some supper. Wanna join me?” “For sure. Although I already ordered so why don’t you join me?” Kyle walked around and took the opposite position from Colby in the red vinyl-covered booth. “So why are you here eating alone when your mom’s like the best cook in Moorestown? Your parents out of town?” “I’m kind of avoiding them. Got home today and in less than five minutes after walking in the door Mama was planning the rest of my life and practically expecting me to sign a contract on the dotted line. I decided just to get me a room at the Coachlight Inn until I can find an apartment somewhere.” “People call it the Roachlight these days. And we just did a big drug and prostitution bust there last month. You ought to go to the new Residence Inn out on the Interstate. Cleaner, definitely safer, and all the rooms have kitchenettes.” “And also probably about sixty or seventy dollars more a night than what I’m paying at the Roachlight. I have to watch my dollars for a while until I have a steady paycheck coming in. On top of that I gotta go buy me something to drive tomorrow and start looking for a place to live. I borrowed my granddad’s old

22 William Neale farm truck today and it took me a half hour just to get it started.” “You didn’t own a car when you were in the Air Force?” “No, didn’t need one. I always drove something from the base fleet at Andrews since me and my guys took care of maintaining all the vehicles.” “So you going to work for your Dad again?” “No, definitely not that. But I’d like to do something that still lets me work on engines if possible since that’s what I know how to do. I have an interview with the County lined up tomorrow that I hope works out.” “But why wouldn’t you just go to work for your dad? It would probably pay a lot better.” “It wouldn’t be working for just my dad. It would be for Cy Jr., Caleb, and Matt too. Matt’s okay but no thank you to Cy and Caleb. Anyhow, I’m thinking I’ll enroll at Lakeway State when it opens this fall and work on getting me a degree. But let’s talk about what’s going on with you. I don’t see a wedding band on your finger yet. You getting close?” “Heck no—a wife’s the last thing I need right now. Besides work, I’m just spending a lot of time at the gym and now that the weather’s getting nice, going to the lake with some buddies of mine who have a couple of boats.” “Well at least you’re having some fun. And, you know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in your uniform. You wear it well, my man. Big time deputy sheriff with your whole career mapped out. And it’s a real honorable one too.” “Yeah, well, I guess I’m just doing a job and earning a paycheck. It’s pretty much what my dad has mapped out, though. He’s gonna retire in about ten years or so and expects me to run for sheriff then. It’s the family legacy. You know, how a McCoy has been sheriff of Moore County for over forty years, going back to my grandpa.” “So why am I hearing in your voice that being sheriff is not what you want to do?”

son of A Ditch 23 “I guess it’s okay enough. But you know how everybody thinks I’m just a younger carbon copy of Harlan McCoy. A lot of people even call me Junior even though my name is Kyle and not Harlan.” “So what’s wrong with that, Junior?” Colby grinned. “You are not allowed to call me that. Anyhow, Dad’s a good, honest man and all, don’t get me wrong. I guess there are a lot worse things people could call me. I just feel like I never got to make the decision myself, you know? I wish I had gone to college when I had the chance instead of going directly to work in the sheriff ’s department. Pulling over speeders and locking up drunk assholes who beat up on their girlfriends gets old after a while.” “Then enroll along with me this fall. It’d be great to have a buddy to study with. We could help each other out.” “Truth be told, I’d already been thinking about that. If I could rearrange my shift schedule a little, I might be able to pull it off.” “Your dad controls the shift schedule, bubba.” “Yeah, and I doubt he’s gonna like it when he finds out I probably won’t be majoring in law enforcement. But at this point, I’m twenty-six and supporting myself. He’ll just have to deal with it, short of firing his own son.” “Yeah, like that’s gonna happen. Your dad is a great guy—he was always super nice to me. He’ll understand.” “I hope so. But speaking of supporting myself, I might have an idea that could work out well for both of us. I just moved into a new apartment. It’s got two bedrooms and is a lot better than my old place. I was planning on looking for a roommate to save on expenses, you know? Since you’re looking for a place anyhow, what would you think about moving in and splitting the rent with me? It’s a brand new complex out next to Cherokee Lake at the foot of Booker’s Mountain. The rent’s not too bad and it has a nice pool and a decent workout room. I bet what we save in rent alone would probably pay most of our tuition.” “Are you kidding? We’ve been friends since we were little kids. When can I move in?”

24 William Neale “I’d say about as fast as you can check your ass out of the Roachlight. But what about your fiancé up north? What’s she gonna say about that?” Colby laughed. “Oh, you heard that, did you? Well, since there ain’t no fiancé up north, I’d say ‘Deal with it, honey bunch.’” Kyle laughed, shaking his head, as the conversation paused when Becky arrived. She balanced two plates loaded with meat loaf, mashed potatoes topped with gravy, and a mound of steaming Brussels sprouts and smiled sweetly at them before returning to her station. “See, Kyle, we even ordered the same thing. That’s a good omen,” Colby said. “But wait—you never ordered.” “Becky knows I always have the special except Wednesdays when they do liver and onions. Yuck! Anyhow, both of us having the same thing is not the only good omen tonight.” “Oh yeah? What’s the other one?” “Oh, just seems lucky that we ran into each other like this after not seeing each other for so long. And now, just look— we’re gonna be roommates.” “I don’t much believe in luck,” Colby said. “I think things happen because they’re meant to happen.” “You know, roomie, I couldn’t agree more.”

111 “I don’t understand,” said Cyril Dawson to his wife. “Was he angry when he left?” “No, he kissed me and said he’d be here Sunday for family dinner.” “Then why the hell is he too good to spend his first night home with his parents? He could have at least called me and said ‘Hello, Dad, I’m home.’” “I guess he figured he’d only get the same from you that he got from me. Listen, Cy. Colby has changed. He is not the boy you and I want to still think he is. We saw that last time he was

son of A Ditch 25 home, but today, it was even more so in the short time he was here. We need to get used to the fact that he’s a grown man who makes his own decisions. I found that out real fast when I started telling him what he should do. He reminded me of you when you dig your heels in about something. There’s no changing your mind short of a lightning bolt from God.” “Well that’s because ninety-nine percent of the time I am right.” “Oh good grief. Spare me, Cyril Dawson.” “Well okay. Maybe only ninety-five percent.” He chuckled and kissed Ruth’s cheek. “Whatever you’re cooking smells wonderful as usual.” “Cy, back off when it comes to Colby. Don’t be pressuring him about living here or coming back to work for you. Let it be his idea if that’s what he wants to do.” “Colby’s still young. He doesn’t know what’s best for him.” “You take that attitude with him and he’ll show you just how stubborn a Dawson can be.” “I can be very persuasive when I need to be.” “As usual, you’re not listening. You are seriously underestimating your son’s independence and determination. And I’m warning you, husband…” Ruth took the large wooden stirring spoon in her hand and pointed it, like a weapon, directly at him. “If you push my baby boy so hard he up and leaves town again, I will ring your jowls like a church bell.”

111 “I’ve never had a roommate,” Kyle said. “Not sure how this is supposed to work.” After spending a frustrating fifteen minutes in the Coachlight Inn’s parking lot trying to get his grandpa’s old truck to start again Colby finally succeeded, then followed a patiently waiting Kyle back to his apartment. “You wishing you hadn’t asked me? ‘Cause if you are, it’s not

26 William Neale gonna piss me off. I can find a place of my own. Just won’t be as nice as this.” Kyle tossed Colby a beer from the refrigerator. “Hell, no. I’m really glad you’re here. We just gotta figure out how this is gonna work.” “Like who cooks and who cleans and whatever else has to be done?” “Well, all I can do is work the microwave and put frozen pizzas in the oven. That’s why I eat at Ina and Aden’s almost every night. Their home cooking is a lot better than all those Applebee’s and TGI Friday’s places and at half the price. But as you can see, my place is pretty neat and clean. When my mama got sick, she made me learn how to clean house so I wouldn’t end up living in a pig sty according to her.” “Oh, yeah, that’s right. I remember. I know that was a long time ago but I’m still awful sorry you lost her.” “Thanks, Cole, I still think about her a lot. But I’m okay. Anyhow, she also tried to teach me to cook but that didn’t stick. I guess only the pots did, you know?” Colby laughed at the joke. “Well, I can cook. Learned early on in the Air Force when I got my first place off base. It was either learn to cook or eat crap, you know? And following a recipe is not that much different than building an engine. So maybe that’ll work out. I cook, you clean. Course, I’ll help you. I’m not a slob.” “If you just do the cooking, then we’re gonna get along just fine,” Kyle said. “And I’ll pay for half the groceries too. And, oh—since you’ll be cooking more than I’ll be cleaning, the cable TV’s on me. And we’ve also got free wireless Internet as part of our rent.” Colby smiled. “This is actually gonna work, isn’t it?” “You bet. Another good omen. I haven’t gotten around to buying much furniture yet so I guess I need to get my ass in gear now that you’re here.” “I have a truck showing up in town day after tomorrow with

son of A Ditch 27 the stuff from my last place. I was going to have to store it all in my folks’ barn but I’ll just have it delivered here instead. My furniture’s not fancy but it’s comfortable and sturdy.” “Cool. Is there enough room for all of it?” “Yeah, should be. We split up the jointly owned stuff and he took his share of it.” “Who’s that?” Colby stiffened, realizing his tongue slip. “Uh—just my exroommate.” He didn’t want additional questions from Kyle about it so he deflected. “I’ve also got a big flat-screen coming too,” he said eyeing the small bulky set sitting on a card table in the living room. “Oh, that’s just from my bedroom at home. Getting a big ass new TV was the next item on my list. Definitely before college football season gets here.” “I thought you said you moved here from another apartment?” “No, I didn’t say that exactly. I said this was better than my old place, which was my bedroom at home. Truth is, this is my first place on my own. I just didn’t want you to think I was some loser who had never left home.” “Give me a break, McCoy.” “I stayed with Dad so long because he didn’t want me to leave and I didn’t want him to be all alone without Mom there. But he’s about to get married again so I figured now’s the time to make the break. But I gotta tell you—loser or not—I have been kind of lonely here by myself. I’m really glad to have you here.” “Yeah? Well, I feel lucky to be here with a buddy I already know and like and to have found such a great place to live on my first day back.” “So you got a bedroom set coming on that truck? Your new bedroom is empty right now.” “Yeah, I just hope the room’s big enough to fit a king bed.” “Should be. That’s what I’ve got and the two rooms are

28 William Neale identical. You’ve even got your own bathroom.” “Cool. So I’ll just park myself on your sofa here in the meantime.” “This old couch sat in my dad’s basement for years and that was after it was in our living room for as long as I can remember. It doesn’t smell too good and I was planning on throwing it in the dumpster downstairs when I bought a new one.” “Yeah, well try sleeping in the hot desert on a cot that’s been sweated on by who knows how many guys. This’ll work out fine for a couple of nights.” “Shit, Colby, like I said, I got a king in my room. Just park yourself there until your stuff shows up. It’s plenty big for both of us.” “Thanks, but this’ll be cool. I probably snore.” “My dad says I can sleep through a tornado, so it won’t bother me.” “Nah, but thanks all the same.” “Okay, man. It wasn’t like I was coming on to you or anything.” Kyle’s hurt expression forced Colby’s conscience to come clean with something that would eventually have to be confronted anyhow. “Kyle, that would be the last thing I’d ever expect from you. The problem’s with me and I’ll understand if you want to end being roommates before it even begins. I just don’t think you’d like it very much if you found out you’d invited a gay guy to sleep with you.”

chAPteR thRee “Well, Colby, of all the people who have applied for this job, you’re the only one who actually sent me a formal résumé. I was impressed right off the bat.” Harrison Murrell, Superintendent of the Moore County School System, peered at Colby over the top of his wire-rimmed reading glasses. “Speaking as an educator, I even appreciate not finding a single misspelled word either.” “I’m a product of your school system, Mr. Murrell. I at least learned how to spell and had a mama who made sure of it.” “That you did. And your work experience certainly qualifies you too. First with Dawson Construction then with the Air Force. We have a fleet of sixty-six school buses, two mobile service trucks, and one tow truck. At any given time only ninety percent of those buses are in service and we need them all. Do you know how panicky parents get when their kids aren’t home on time and are stranded on the side of the road somewhere in a broken-down bus?” “They have every right to expect that a Moore County school bus is the safest, most reliable vehicle on which their kids will ever ride.” “Exactly. Perfect answer and excellent grammar too, by the way. In fact, I think I’ll use that line myself next election if you don’t mind. You’d be supervising a crew of six guys at the Bus Service Center although we’re down to four right now, which is directly related to one of the reasons we had to let the former chief mechanic go. How do you feel about managing that size of a department?” “Well, as you saw on my résumé, I discharged as a staff sergeant so I’m used to supervising people. At Andrews Air Force Base I had a crew of about twenty mechanics and techs. I was responsible for the day shift which is when most of the work got done. I brought a letter of reference from my commanding

30 William Neale officer if you’d like to see it.” it.”

“I imagine it’s a very good one or you wouldn’t have brought “Yes sir, it is.”

“Then I’ll take your word for it. Fact is, Colby, my mind was pretty much made up before you walked in the door. And besides, I’ve known your father most of my life. You probably know he’s building my new middle school on Manley Drive. He’s not the easiest fellow to deal with but a finer nor more honest man ever walked the streets of Moorestown. That’s not why I would hire you, of course—it just tells me you were raised right.” “Thank you, sir.” “You’ve seen the compensation package we can offer and if that’s acceptable, you’re the new Chief Bus Mechanic for the Moore County Schools.” “That’s great, Mr. Murrell. Thank you. I’ve just got one more question, though, before I accept.” “Oh, we’re negotiating now, are we?” “Oh no, sir. I want to enroll at the new college and eventually get my engineering degree. Is there any flexibility in my work schedule so that I could attend some of the classes that aren’t offered at night? I’m willing to more than make up for any lost hours; I just need to shift ‘em around a little.” “Colby, you get all my buses running smoothly on a regular basis and you can attend any class you want. Come to think of it—and I should have thought of this before—we have a special arrangement with the state for our teachers to take continuing education courses at half the regular tuition cost. There’s no reason that wouldn’t apply to you also. And I admire that, Colby. Not only is going for your engineering degree okay with me, I think it’s downright impressive.”

111 “Shouldn’t we be having this meeting with Dad in the room also?” asked Matt Dawson. He was the youngest of the three

son of A Ditch 31 brothers gathered around the far end of the long bird’s-eye maple table in the Dawson Construction conference room. “No, not at this point,” Cy Jr., the oldest brother, replied. “I was hoping the three of us could agree on what we should do about Colby working here before we take it to Dad.” “You don’t think Colby might want to have a say in this too?” “Be realistic, Matt. He’s just going to want an hourly paying job. We’re the future leaders of this company so we’ll make those decisions.” “You don’t think Colby is a part of the future too?” “No—get real,” Caleb said. “He’s not partner material. He’s a truck mechanic, for Christ’s sake.” “Yeah, and one that didn’t get the same opportunities we did despite the fact that he wanted it, and Dad, as usual, knew better.” “Dad was right. We can put him on the payroll as a mechanic but never as a partner.” “You try and fuck my brother out of his birthright and you and me will seriously tangle, Cy.” “Matt, calm down,” Caleb said. “Nobody’s suggesting we fuck him over. Cy and I just think we should write him a nice check and let him go off somewhere and open a gas station.” “You don’t have a clue how insulting that is to him, do you? And apparently you two have already discussed this without me.” “You’re sitting here with the future CEO and the future president. Of course we discussed it between the two of us.” “Oh really? It’s good to know where I rank on your totem pole. Well, since you didn’t ask, let me toss in my two cents. You’re looking at the current CFO—who will eventually own exactly the same percentage of this company as you two. Dad would never screw any of his sons and you both know that.” “What’s your point, Matt?” Cy asked impatiently. “You also know how crazy Dad is about Colby and frankly, you’re both just a little old to still be feeling jealous about that.

32 William Neale But my point, Cy, is that if push comes to shove, mine and Colby’s votes will cancel out yours. But—if either of you had the slightest amount of strategic sense, you’d be making Colby feel like he’s your BFF. That way you’d have three-fourths of the votes.” “He’s right, Cy,” Caleb said. “What the hell is a BFF?” Cy asked. “Come on. You’re only thirty-four. Are you really that out of touch?” “BFF means ‘best friend forever,’” Caleb injected. “Oh, sure I knew that. All right, Matt, I guess you’re right about Dad not screwing Colby out of equal ownership. But once Dad’s retired and out of the way, we’ll be able to control salaries and incentive bonuses and pretty much eat up a lion’s share of the profits for ourselves.” “Are you my brother?” Matt raised his voice. “Did the same father teach us about ethics and honesty? What kind of low life would do that to his own brother? Colby’s one of the kindest, sweetest guys in the world. Jesus, Cy!” “Oh, keep your shorts on, Matt, I’m just talking.” “No, you mean it. If you’d screw Colby like that then you’d also screw me. And Caleb, if you didn’t have your lips constantly attached to Cy’s butthole, you’d be worried he’ll screw you too.” “Fuck you, Matt,” Caleb snarled indignantly. “What? You finally came up for some air? Good, Caleb. But your nose is still brown. Now listen and listen good. Since you two seem to be making such important decisions without my input, let’s all get something straight. As the CFO, I control the purse strings in this company, and we all know Dad and his lawyers set it up that way. You will both end up begging me for a small weekly allowance if you try and screw my brother out of one red cent of what is rightfully his.” “He doesn’t deserve it, Matt,” Cy said. “He won’t be contributing to the company’s growth or success. We rightfully deserve more than he does.”

son of A Ditch 33 “You rightfully deserve only the salary you get paid to do your job, which is already considerable. We didn’t build this company from the ground up like Dad. He made it successful and he’s handing it to us on a silver platter. By all rights and financial good sense, Daddy should be coming to us and saying if we want to ‘contribute to its future growth or success’ then we should buy him out at capitalized value.” “That’s ridiculous,” Cy countered. “And besides how much could it really be worth? All we own is our headquarters building, our heavy equipment, and a few construction trailers.” “Cy, first of all we lease all our equipment and the trailers. Do you know what ‘capitalized value’ means?” “Well, sure,” Cy answered. “Then what is the capitalized value of Dawson Construction?” “Well, uh…” “I thought so. Last year we made roughly nine million in FFO.” “What’s FFO?” Caleb asked. “Well at least you’re willing to ask, Caleb. It means Funds From Operations. In simple terms, it’s net profit before debt service and depreciation. At a reasonable eight percent cap rate, that equates to a company value of about one-hundred-twelve million and change. That’s how value is determined in the real world, gentlemen.” “I still don’t see what that has to do with us. We’re a family business.” “If Dad ever decided to sell his business and cash out, that’s what he could likely get for it and don’t think I haven’t told him that as his CFO. Do you have an extra thirty-seven-and-a-half million dollars sitting around, Cy? That would be your third of the price if you exclude Colby. Do either of you know how to raise that kind of money? Do you know how to get a credit line or how to manage cash flow as the general contractor on over three hundred million in active projects at any given time—from

34 William Neale which we have to pay the subs plus our own payroll before we get paid? Oh, I forgot. You guys just go out to the sites or to see our clients every day and walk around like you’re some big fucking deal. Keeping this place solvent is what I get paid to do and why you’d be out of business in six months without me. And, to my greater point, you screw Colby and you’ll be operating by yourselves.” “Guys, come on,” Caleb said. “We’re acting like one of those old TV shows Mama used to watch—was it Dallas or Dynasty? Whatever, let’s get back to the reason we’re here. We have to decide what to do about Colby. You know he’s gonna be knocking on the door with his hand out wanting a job.” Matt had worked himself up into a barely controlled steam. “So tell me, Caleb. Upon getting your degree in communications from UT, how many qualified résumés did you hand out in search of your construction job? Oh, excuse me—that wasn’t a résumé in your hand—looks like it was empty and knocking on Daddy’s door.” “That’s enough. I’m losing my patience here,” Cy Jr. said. “Matt, you are like a fucking boil on my back that I can’t reach to pop. Just what do you propose to do with Colby?” “I say we let the company pay to send him to the new college and give him the education he originally wanted. We’ll provide him with a management training job here, pay him a decent salary, and, at the same time gradually teach him the business.” “For what possible gain?” Cy asked. “We’ve already got three senior executives plus Daddy running this company. We’ll be way top-heavy with bosses.” “Cy, for once use your brain. Colby’s a mechanical genius and we all know that. Do you know how much we paid in outsourced engineering fees last year?” “No, Matt, I don’t. But I’m sure you’re going to tell me.” “We spent one-point-seven million outside this company last year because we don’t have an in-house engineering staff. With Colby running such a department, he could add millions

son of A Ditch 35 in additional bottom line profits over the years once he gets his degree and license. And, he could eventually take over for Dad in cost estimating and bidding, which is what Dad does best and none of us have the slightest clue how to do.” “That might work, now that I think about it,” Cy said. “I’ll talk to Daddy about it.” “Now that you think about it? And you’ll take full credit for the idea too, won’t you, big brother? You know what? You guys have me one sneeze away from tossing all your crap and going to work for myself. I’m out of here. Matt Jr. has a Little League game.”

chAPteR fouR “Colby, I want you home!” Cyril Dawson’s first words to his son resounded over the cell phone so loudly that Colby moved the device several inches away from his ear. Typical Dad. Not even a hello first. Colby looked at the phone as though he were seeing his father’s face. “Dad, no can do right now. I’m at Moorestown Ford in the middle of buying a used pick-up. They’re doing the paperwork now. What’s the emergency?” “You know what the emergency is. You hit town yesterday and barely said hello to your mother before you made her cry and then left. You forget you even have a father to come see and hug after being gone for so long. You’re staying God knows where after rejecting the bedroom that’s been waiting on you for eight years. And just now I get a call from Harry Murrell thanking me for letting him have you. Do you know how embarrassing that was? To have him tell me that? He’s a client, Colby. I’m building a new middle school for him. People will think my business is so bad I can’t afford to give my own son a job. And where are you staying? Why aren’t you home where you belong?” “You gonna let me talk now, Daddy? First, I got an apartment. Kyle McCoy asked me to be his roommate and I moved in last night. Otherwise, I would have come and given you that hug.” “Well you couldn’t have chosen a finer roommate than Kyle, but that’s a huge waste of money, boy. You can live and eat rent free here and save your money for your future family. We need to have us a long talk and I want you home. On top of that, what dumb hair-up-your-ass notion made you go to Moorestown Ford on your own? I could make one call to Tom Oleson and get you a brand new loaded F-150 at dealer cost. God knows I’ve given him enough business over the years. Hell, even better, I’ll just add it to the company’s leased vehicles as a welcome home present for you. Forget this beater you’re about to buy and let me handle

38 William Neale it.” “No thanks on the welcome home present, and the one I bought is not a beater. It’s a real clean, low mileage F-150 that had been repossessed. I spent an hour under the hood checking it out and it’s a far better value than a brand new one.” “You’re telling me you don’t want me to give you a new truck?” “Yes sir, I am. Thank you, but I don’t need your help, and you need to get used to that. I’ll come home and see you when I’m done here but I’m not moving back in with you and Mama.” “You’re all of twenty-six years old, and that is still wet behind the ears. We’re gonna have us a serious one-on-one when you get here and just keep in mind that you’re still not too old for me to knock some sense into you if I have to.” “Dad, if that’s a threat then I ain’t coming to see you—period. I’m not going to be talked to that way, and if you try to whip my ass you’ll have a fight on your hands. You hear that?” After a long pause, Cy took an audibly long breath. “Okay, son, let’s just both calm down. I’m very sorry for threatening you. I was way out of line on that but you know how I get sometimes. It’s just hard getting used to the idea that my baby boy doesn’t need me anymore.” “Of course I need you. I just don’t need you or Mama to run my life. Can’t you understand that?” “Yes, I do, and I guess I’ll need to get used to that. Just come home to see me, okay? I’ve missed you so much and I want a great big hug from my boy.” “I promised Kyle I’d cook him supper tonight so I’ll be over after that. And I’ll return Granddad’s old Dodge too. Dad, you know if you’re gonna keep that thing, you ought to take better care of it and actually drive it every once in a while. I put in a new battery and replaced the alternator and the starter on it for you this afternoon but that’s just the tip of the iceberg of what all it needs. For starters, the belts are thin as pasta, the brake pads are shot, and the muffler’s only hanging on by a lick and a promise.”

son of A Ditch 39

111 Kyle watched his longtime friend and now roommate out of the corner of his eye as Colby busied himself around the small kitchen. The apartment had an open floor plan with a breakfast bar separating the combined dining and living rooms. This allowed Kyle to sit on the sofa yet see everything going on in the kitchen. Colby was making spaghetti for dinner and the onions and garlic he’d sautéed initially now filled the small apartment with a heady, tempting, fragrant promise of the first real meal to have been cooked there since Kyle had leased the place. But the promise of a good dinner was not the focus of Kyle’s close attention. Earlier, they had worked out together at the apartment complex’s fitness room. After returning, Colby said he wanted to get the pasta sauce on to simmer for a while before he showered. So he pulled off his soaked t-shirt, draped it on one of the bar stools in front of the counter, and went to his task wearing only his workout shorts. It was the highlight of Kyle’s day as he sat drinking his beer and pretending to watch ESPN. He was trying not to be obvious in staring at the freshly pumped up muscles and dark, moderately hairy features of the former high school linebacker. And, it was especially difficult not to notice the thick bulge hiding inside Colby’s old and faded Tennessee-orange shorts or, when he turned, the firmly rounded bubble cheeks protruding from his back-side. Kyle loved how Colby whistled softly to himself as he worked. And the way he fixed his sharp blue eyes in concentration as he chopped fresh basil, parsley, and oregano. Even the subtle flexing of Colby’s thick forearms as he cranked a pepper mill—a tool Kyle had previously not even owned—was somehow transformed into a seductive tease made all the more alluring by the fact that Colby was entirely oblivious about its impact on his audience. Kyle couldn’t decide whether he was more transfixed by the thrilling domesticity of watching a man cook dinner for him for the first time or that the cook was nearly naked and porn-star hot.

40 William Neale He no longer pretended to watch SportsCenter. He didn’t even hear it at this point. He could only think about the same thing he’d been thinking about since the night before. When Colby had said—without a shred of apology or shame—“I am gay.” “You’re telling me you’re gay?” Kyle asked incredulously. “Yep. Long story but true. I should have told you while we were over at the diner but it’s kind of hard to say ‘Gee, the meat loaf ’s good here. And by the way, I’m gay.’” “It’s just such a surprise, man. You’re so—so—” “Straight acting? Whatever that is? Listen, Kyle. Being in the military, I’ve had to hide it for a long time and, as a matter of fact, I still am keeping it from a lot of people, including my family. And truthfully, I’m also trying to escape it for a while, but I don’t wanna get into that right now. I just figured if we’re gonna be roommates and friends you needed to know sooner than later. My bag is still sitting there on the floor. I can go back to the Coachlight right now if you want.” “Like hell you will,” Kyle said emphatically.”We were best friends for a lot of years and I could really use that friend again. What you do in your bedroom is none of my business.” “You sure, man? Listen, I’ll never do anything to embarrass or bother you, okay? Putting the make on you or any other man is the last thing I want to do right now.” “I’m not worried about that. You’re my friend and that ain’t gonna change no matter who you sleep with. And besides, I hear all you gay guys are really good cooks.” Colby’s body had matured since high school in the way an already strapping boy fills out even more into a man. The Air Force, if anything, had honed his body to even fitter proportions. And, the Air Force eagle tattooed on Colby’s left bicep simply made his appeal to Kyle all the more arousing. He couldn’t help it. Looking at Colby this way made his dick hard. And “this way” meant as one gay guy attracted to another. Yes, he should have

son of A Ditch 41 been honest with Colby and told him about his own situation. But he was not ready to come out. Not to Colby. Not to anybody except the one man who already knew—intimately—and his two best friends, Clay and Tag. “Hey, you still with me?” the voice yelled from the kitchen. “Huh? What’d you say?” “You were staring straight at me but there was no one at home. I asked if you would mind doing me a favor. I need to go see my dad and mom after dinner and also return his truck. Would you follow me and give me a lift back? “No prob. I’ve got nothing else to do. I haven’t seen your parents in a while either so it’ll be nice to say hello.” “Hey, thanks. It shouldn’t take very long. What you wanna bet that within five minutes Dad will be on my ass to come work for him? He was pissed off and embarrassed when he found out I got the job with the school system.” “He’d rather you just go back to the job you had in high school?” “Yeah, only I guess full time now. But don’t worry—there won’t be any arguments. When he starts up, I’ll get up, give him a big smile and hug, tell him it was great seeing him, and that I’ll be back for Sunday family dinner.” “You having a reunion or something?” “No, just mandatory attendance. All my brothers, their wives, their rug rats, and now me again. Every Sunday afternoon at one o’clock, rain or shine. Come to think of it, as much as you love home cooking, you’re coming with me.” “I—I don’t know about that, Cole.” “Well I do. Mama starts cooking on Fridays for this. It’s the highpoint of her week and she smiles the entire time everybody’s there. And remember how much she likes you? You’ll totally make her day.” “Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of.”

42 William Neale “What’s that mean?” “Nothing. I just remember your mom being like the best cook ever.” “Then what’s your problem? All you have to do to get a mandatory invitation for yourself every week is to tell Mama that you haven’t had a Sunday dinner that good since your own mother used to make it.”

111 “So you want to tell me about your history with Colby Dawson?” Tag finally asked. He had been quietly seething since “the hug” that occurred the previous day. But he had avoided bringing up the subject for fear it would just come across as petty and jealous. Now, he couldn’t hold back his feelings any longer. He and Clay were in the kitchen prepping vegetables for a stir-fry dinner. “What do you want to know?” “Like how many times did you sleep with him?” “What? Do I smell a little green jealousy or is that just the bell peppers?” Tag chuckled. “Okay, I admit you smell maybe a little jealousy. He’s drop-dead handsome and you were looking mighty closely at his hot body when he had his shirt off yesterday. And the way you two hugged each other looked awfully familiar. Like you’d done it a lot of times.” “What gay man wouldn’t look at a body like that? And don’t tell me you weren’t checking it out either. But as for hugs, sure. We’ve hugged a lot. On the football field after a good play, after we won a basketball game, after one of us hit a homerun. And sometimes when we just were stoked about something. But they were only straight-guy, jock-guy hugs. He and Kyle and me were best friends at the time and we had no hang-ups about showing it to each other.” “My gaydar was off the charts between you and him.” “Really? I didn’t pick up on that. Colby always seemed about

son of A Ditch 43 as straight as it gets. I don’t think he ever had a going-steady girlfriend while we were in school but I know he did date several girls. Actually, he could have had any girl he wanted. But he was never like the use ’em and lose ’em type. Cole’s much more a sincere, true blue kind of guy and that’s why every girl wanted him.” “They wanted his hot body and let’s don’t fool ourselves about it. So you’re saying you and he never had a thing?” “Nope, we never had a ‘thing.’ It was the same relationship you and I have with Kyle now. You know how deep I was in the closet until you came along. Although I have to admit that I probably jacked off more than once thinking about him at the time. You gotta admit he is one fine specimen.” “That he is. Just don’t you be jacking off thinking about him now.” “Oh, come on, Taggy. Like when was the last time I had to jack off anyhow? Not when I have the real thing cuddled next to me every night. And you’re way hotter to me than Colby Dawson ever was.” “Yeah, you’re just saying that because you think that’s what I want to hear.” Clay took two steps forward, put his arms around Tag’s lower back, and pulled him close. “Listen, I’m saying that because I mean it. When we got married, I considered myself the luckiest man on the planet and that hasn’t changed one bit since. If anything, it just gets stronger with time.” “I’m sorry. I know I sound like some insecure teenager. I just need to hear you say that every once in a while.” “Which means I haven’t been saying it enough. I’ll do better.” “No, you couldn’t do any better for me than you already do. I’m the one who got lucky in this deal.” “We both got lucky so let’s just call this a permanent mutual admiration society, okay?” He kissed the tip of Tag’s nose. “And right now I’m starving. Let’s finish making dinner and maybe

44 William Neale later we can both get really lucky,” he added with a wink. “Oh yeah, definitely.” Tag kissed Clay and squeezed him tighter. “I have an idea, though. Why don’t I pull out the wok and start the stir fry and you go call Kyle and invite him to dinner on Friday night. And then call Colby and invite him too.” “You serious?” “Why not? You said you guys used to be like the three musketeers.” “That could be tricky, hon. Kyle is only out to us and to you know who. And we don’t know about Colby.” “I trust my gaydar,” Tag declared. “I think Colby is gay. We’re not going to out either of them. But if nature takes its course, then maybe they’ll out themselves. I really want Kyle to fall in love with somebody who can give him everything he deserves. Even though he’s our age I still think of him as our little brother.” “I feel the same way. And he sure as hell ain’t getting what he needs from He-who-must-not-be-named.” “Then let’s at least put him and Colby together and see what happens. If it’s meant to be, they’ll figure it out.”

111 “Sure, seven o’clock Friday,” Kyle said into his cell phone. “What can I bring? … Yeah, I know but I have to ask anyhow. … Okay, understood. What’s the special occasion? … It’s just like you never actually invite me over so formally. It’s usually ‘Hey, we just made a pot of chili, wanna come over and help eat it?’ … Okay—yeah, you’re allowed to cook something special without a reason. … All right, see you at seven tomorrow.” Seconds later Colby’s cell phone rang and he recognized the number as the one Clay had given him earlier in the week. “Hi, Clay—how you doing? Arrested any more drug dealers on the side of the road?” Kyle looked at Colby and grinned at the fact that obviously both were being invited and that Clay was oblivious to the fact

son of A Ditch 45 they were roommates. “Play along,” he whispered loud enough for Colby to hear. “Sure, dinner tomorrow would be great. … Seven? Got it. What can I bring?” he winked at Kyle. … “Yeah, I know but I have to ask anyhow,” he said, intentionally quoting the same line Kyle had spoken seconds earlier. “Okay, looking forward to it. Say hey to Tag. G’night.” “Can you believe that?” Kyle said. “They’re setting us up on a date. Otherwise he would have told me he’s inviting you—and likewise with you.” “Why would they do that unless they’re—you mean they’re gay?” “You didn’t know? Yeah, they’re MPD’s out and proud gay cops.” “Clay introduced Tag as his partner but I didn’t really think he meant partner.” “Yep. They’ve been together something like six or seven years now. They’re even legally married in the few states that will recognize it.” “And you’re cool with that?” Colby asked. “Why wouldn’t I be? They’re my best friends. It’s the main reason I chose this apartment complex. They live about a mile up Booker’s Mountain from here so I always just walk when I go hang with them. I don’t have to worry about how much I drink that way.” “So your best friends are gay. You have a gay roommate, a fact that doesn’t seem to bother you at all. What’s the deal, Kyle? Are you like some male version of a fag hag?” “You got it half right. Drop the hag part. And for the record, I really don’t like either of those names.” “What? You let me come out to you and you didn’t say squat about yourself ?” “Colby, I’m so deep in the closet it’s not only a walk-in, it’s a friggin’ annex all the way to Knoxville. Only three people know

46 William Neale I’m gay and we’re having dinner with two of them tomorrow.” “So guess that makes me the third one, then, huh?” “No, I guess you make number four now.” “And who’s number three?” “If I told you, I’d have to kill you. He’s even deeper in the C than me.” “Wow, that blows me away! And you just now tell me this? Is this a boyfriend? Are you in love with whoever this guy is?” “No. I thought I was when I was younger and a lot more starry-eyed. But it’s much more complicated than that. Clay and Tag want me to dump him and get on with my life. But I don’t want to talk about him now. We really need to have some fun with the fact that they don’t know we’re roommates or that you’re gay too. They think they’re reuniting two old buddies who haven’t seen each other in years. But apparently you must have put out some gay vibes when they punk’d you yesterday. You up for getting even?” “You bet I am. Let’s do it. I just still can’t believe you’re family.” “For a long time neither could I.”

chAPteR five “You ready?” Kyle asked Colby. “It’ll only take us fifteen minutes to walk up the hill.” “Yeah, almost.” Colby stood shirtless outside his bedroom door. “Should I wear the black t-shirt or go more dressy with the blue Polo shirt?” He held out both so Kyle could see. “My preference? Go just like you are. Don’t bother with a shirt. And thank you for not shaving today too. That dark stubble on you is hot.” “Oh, come on, get serious. I’m terrible when it comes to fashion sense.” “You’ll look sexy no matter what you wear. Do the t-shirt or better yet, wear a tank top. Tag and Clay are about as informal as it gets. And besides, it’ll show off your big arms and shoulders.” “Now that we’re out to each other, you think you can get away with saying teasing stuff like that. But all it does is make me blush, so cut it out, okay? And no tank top tonight either.” “Okay, sorry. But you’ll at least wear the tee?” Kyle asked in a pretty-pretty-please tone. Colby laughed and tossed the blue shirt back into his room. He slipped the tee over his head as he walked into the living room. “As requested, Deputy McCoy. I wouldn’t want to get in trouble with the law.” “Hmmm … now that’s a five jerk fantasy. Wanna excuse me while I go to my bedroom for a while?” Colby laughed. “What has gotten into you tonight?” Kyle grinned sheepishly. “Can you tell how totally stoked I am right now? I know we’re just friends but this is like the first real date I’ve ever had with a guy.” “What about with the guy you’re seeing?” “No, we’ve never had what you’d call an actual date. He’s

48 William Neale too afraid of being recognized in public. But let’s don’t go there, okay? I want to pretend I’m going with my boyfriend to dinner with another gay couple. That’s always been like a little G-rated fantasy for me. And don’t worry, it’s not a come-on; it’s just me being silly.” “No, it’s not silly. And no, we’re not boyfriends and I’m nowhere ready to be anybody’s boyfriend again so soon. But if I were, I’d be all over you. If you want a pretend boyfriend tonight, I’m your man.” “Thanks, Cole. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I wish you really were. And one of these days you’re gonna tell me about the asshole who worked you over so bad that you’re not ready, and clearly also not over him. I don’t even need to know the details. I just know he’s got to be one stupid motherfucker to hurt you like he did.” “Let’s not spoil the mood, okay?” “Okay, message received. Maybe we just need to get each other drunk so all our major secrets come out. But in the meantime, let’s go. I’ll tell you my plan to punk them on the walk up the hill.”

111 “I’d forgotten that mostly rich people live up here,” Colby said as he and Kyle walked the street’s steep and winding grade up Booker’s Mountain. “How do two cops manage to swing it?” “They don’t own—they just take care of Rogan James’ house. I thought you said Clay told you that?” “Oh yeah, that’s right. Then how did a deputy chief of police afford to live here?” “Colby, you’ve been gone too long, man. Rogan’s mother was a Coker. As in Coker’s canned vegetables and the Coker Museum of Appalachian Arts? Rogan inherited a shit load of money. He only worked at MPD because he enjoyed it. He was also considered one of the top forensics experts in the South.” “Yeah, I do remember the Cokers now. Pretty impressive. Clay also mentioned he has a partner, but I can’t remember the

son of A Ditch 49 name. Do you know him?” “Oh sure. It’s Lucas Reed. He grew up in Moorestown too but he and Rogan had already graduated before we started. I’m sure your dad knew his father, Sam Reed, the city councilman who died a few years back. Lucas and Rogan went to East High together and reconnected many years later when Mr. Reed died and Lucas had to come home for the funeral. I think it was one of those unexplored love kind of things that finally blossomed all those years later. There’s a lot more to the story but bottom line, Rogan resigned from the police department and they moved up to Cleveland. Lucas has a gigantic old Victorian house he restored that overlooks Lake Erie.” “What does he do for a living?” “He’s some sort of big time advertising whiz and Rogan now does forensics consulting. From what Clay and Tag say, he’s making a second fortune as an expert witness in big time court trials all over the country. I spent a week at their house last summer with Clay and Tag and we all had a really sweet time. There’s a lot to do there.” “And Clay and Tag rent the house from Rogan and Lucas?” “No, not really. They pay for the utilities and do all the upkeep and maintenance things. If the furnace breaks down, they get it fixed. That kind of thing. Rogan and Lucas and their kids come down a few times a year and use the house as a vacation home. They like having close friends who happen to be cops watching over their place when they’re not there.” “They have kids?” “Yeah. Rogan has twins from his straight marriage. I think they’re probably in their early teens now. The girl lives in Seattle with her mom and step-dad and the boy, Rogie now lives with his dad and Lucas in Cleveland. And a couple of years ago, Lucas fathered a baby boy through a surrogate mother and now he and Rogan are raising him together.” “It sounds like they live a really charmed life.” “Clay and Tag know them a lot better than me but from what

50 William Neale I’ve seen it’s one of those genuine happily ever after stories.” He paused. “It’s the kind I often wonder if I’ll ever have.” “Now you sound sad and that’s not allowed on our pretend date. Seriously, when are you going to tell me what’s going on with you and this guy?” “I’ll get there, Cole. I’m weak when it comes to him. I know what I’ve got to do but I just haven’t been able to do it. Maybe now that I have you around I’ll muster the courage to finally break it off.” “I’ll not only be there for you, I’ll rearrange his face if he even thinks about hurting you.”

111 “What time did you tell them, babe?” Tag yelled from the hallway outside their bedroom. “I said seven. It’s five till. Aren’t you ready yet?” Clay shouted up the stairs. “I would have been ready a half hour ago if you hadn’t assaulted me on the way to the shower when I was naked and vulnerable.” “You poor baby.” “Yeah, yeah—I’m headed down right now.” “Wow, Tag, I always get a rise when you wear that white muscle shirt,” Clay said. “Well, if you want to get on your knees and worship my hotness for a while, that would be do-able.” “Yeah, what’s do-able is you getting your hotness over to the bar and doing your job. You still haven’t set up everything.” “What’s to set up? Ice is already in the bucket. Beer’s in the bar fridge. Red wine is right here in the rack. White is also in the fridge. Kyle doesn’t drink hard liquor and if Colby wants it, it’ll take me all of ten seconds to pull it out and pour.” “I know—I’m just a little nervous. I want those two to hit it off when they meet again,” Clay said as he set an iced bowl of

son of A Ditch 51 prawns with cocktail sauce on the sofa table. “There’s no finer guy than Colby and he and Kyle would be perfect together. And I really want Kyle to finally dump Wes Watson.” “I know. What a self-absorbed loser.” “I think all Kyle needs is a little incentive. How many times has he said he’s ending it then can’t go through with it?” “And all Wes has done is used Kyle for sex on his terms entirely. If he really loved him the way he keeps claiming, Wes would either leave his wife or set Kyle free.” “You’re preaching to the choir.” “Well, if we have our way, we’re gonna start the break-up process tonight. Kyle’s stuck in limbo and is giving Wes the best years of his life. That’s gotta stop and I think Colby’s just the man to help him do that.” “But we still don’t even know if Colby’s gay,” Clay said. “I trust my vibes. I’d bet my ass Colby’s gay.” “You better only be betting your ass with me.” “Hmmm,” Tag kissed Clay. “If I’m right, I win. And if I’m wrong, I win.”

111 “So here’s my plan,” Kyle said as he and Colby approached the house. “You stay down here below out of sight and I’ll go in first and act like I always do. I have no idea, of course, that they’ve also invited you. Then wait maybe five minutes as though you’re just arriving. They think we haven’t seen each other in years so just play the part, okay?” “Yeah, I can do that. But what’s the end game?” “The end game is we’re gonna shock the hell out of ‘em. But I want it to look spontaneous so just follow my lead and play along.” “What are we going to do?” “Just trust me. I’m pretty sure you’ll like it.”

52 William Neale

111 “So, Kyle, we have another friend joining us for dinner,” Clay said. Kyle took a sip of the chardonnay Tag had poured. “Nice chard, Tag. This one’s kind of oaky.” He turned to Clay. “So who else is coming?” “Colby Dawson.” “What? He’s back in town? I didn’t know that. Is he home on leave?” “He’s out for good and back in town to stay. We ran into him earlier in the week and invited him to dinner tonight so we can all catch up with each other’s lives.” “I’m gonna kick that son of a bitch’s ass for not calling me yet. Shit, we used to be best friends.” He paused as though considering another thought. “Uh—does he know about you guys?” Kyle asked. “I don’t think so. He knows we live together but that’s all we told him. We can play it totally straight tonight if it’ll make you feel more comfortable.” “Yeah, maybe that might be good until we can tell how he might react. For all we know, he’s some big right-wing homophobe now.” Kyle barely managed not to break out into laughter as he played the role. “Your secret’s safe with us, buddy,” Clay said. “We just figured that Colby and you would enjoy seeing each other again. And who knows? Maybe you’ll let him in on your inner circle. It might be good for you two to be best friends again.” “Yeah, that would be great but we’ll have to see. Let’s just play it by ear. And—your doorbell says he’s here.” “Okay, girls, let’s everybody butch it up for the hunky straight guy.” Clay laughed as he went to open the door. “Colby, good to see you, man. Come on in.”

son of A Ditch 53 “Hey, Clay. Thanks for inviting me. Sorry I’m a little late. I had to find your place.” “There is no late around here. We’re just glad you could make it. You remember Tag,” he gestured as his partner joined them at the door. “Sure I do,” Colby smiled, walking into the entry foyer with his hand extended. “Welcome, Colby. Come on in.” Tag smiled. “We have a surprise for you. Say hello to an old friend of yours.” “Colby!” Kyle stood, playing the part of pleasantly surprised really well. “Kyle. Gosh, how long has it been, buddy?” Kyle walked the few feet to presumably shake Colby’s hand or even hug him. “Way too long, stud. It’s been way too long.” Kyle planted his hand on the back of Colby’s head and forced their faces together. He pressed his lips tightly against Colby’s and kissed him with the fervor of a man long deprived of the taste of his lover. Caught off guard, Colby hesitated at first then, feeling a definite tug in his shorts, wrapped his arms around Kyle and returned the kiss with unrestrained passion. Clay and Tag stood transfixed with mouths agape, unable to look at each other or at anything other than the steam percolating before their eyes. Colby and Kyle’s hands traveled over each other’s bodies with dramatized soap opera heat as the kiss continued on and on. Finally, Kyle and Colby broke apart. They stared at each other for a long second then exploded in laughter. “What the hell was that?” Tag asked, still in shock. “Gotcha!” Kyle laughed. Colby grinned. “We came here together, guys. I moved into Kyle’s apartment this week. We’re roomies now.” “You mean you let me worry and fret for two days about

54 William Neale bringing you two together when all along you knew what we were up to?” Clay asked. “That’s about the size of it,” Kyle said. Clay chuckled. “I don’t know whether to hug you both or deck you.” “Hugs are definitely preferred,” Colby said. “So you’re—uh—gay?”

“Did that look like two straight guys kissing?”

“Well if I can be nosy, does that also mean that you two are

together?” Tag asked. “You can be nosy but it just means we’re good friends and roommates and that’s all,” Kyle answered. “But,” he turned to Colby, “you’re a pretty good kisser, Cole.” “That was way better than pretty good and you know it. But a kiss is all it was, guys,” Colby said. “We just wanted to punk you to get even for you scaring the shit out of me my first day back.” “Well that you did. Wow, after that scene I think I need a cigarette!” Tag joked. “But instead I’ll settle for another glass of wine. What can I get you Colby?”

chAPteR six “Boy, that’s the best time I’ve had in ages,” Colby said. It was well after midnight as they walked down the steep pavement back to their apartment. “I’d forgotten how much fun it is just to laugh and cut-up with regular guys instead of having to play nice with a bunch of Gregg’s snobby friends.” “So his name is Gregg, eh? The plot thickens. So tell me more.” “Later. I don’t want to spoil the mood. It was so good to catch up with Clay again, and I really like Tag. They’re clearly crazy about each other.” “Tag and Clay are the best. I don’t know what I would have done if they hadn’t been around to hold my hand. Before them, I didn’t have anybody I could really talk to.” “You know, a pretend boyfriend worth his salt would be holding your hand right now.” “Yeah? Looks like you’re slipping on the job, darling.” “Sorry, sweetheart.” He laughed and took Kyle’s hand. “So how did you come out to them?” “You know how rumors fly around. Working at the sheriff ’s department, you hear things. Like when Rogan and Lucas got outed in the paper by a psycho reporter who then tried to kill Lucas.” “He what?” “That’s part of the story I promised you earlier. Clay and Tag got there just in time and had to take him out.” “They killed him?” “Yep. It was pretty sad, actually. The reporter was really a disturbed guy who was obsessed with Rogan so he tried to take out Lucas. Clay and Tag totally saved Lucas’ life. Anyhow, after that happened they sort of became celebrities in town and then

56 William Neale word got out that they were more than just cop partners. Before that, I would see Clay fairly regularly but he had always played it straight with me. I knew who Tag was but didn’t know the two of them lived together. Well, some people got their shorts in a bind about it but most just accepted it for what it is and now it’s no longer even mentioned.” “So did you just out yourself to them?” “No. Like I said, I didn’t really know Tag at the time. But when they were named the co-chairs for the annual Law Enforcement Officers Benevolent Fund dinner, I decided to volunteer to help. Yeah, it’s a real good cause and I now help with it every year. But at the time, I just wanted an excuse to hang with them. Before I knew it, they took me in like a little lost lamb and now they’re the brothers I never had. I love ’em both.” “Good story—except for the killing part.” They reached their building and climbed the stairs to their second floor apartment. “You know,” Colby said as he opened the door, “I’m not tired at all. I had such a good time I don’t want the night to end. Man, you don’t know how much I’ve missed laughing so much. And,” he smiled at Kyle, “it was the best pretend date I’ve ever had.” “It was the only date I’ve ever had—with a guy, that is. I have an idea,” Kyle said. “Somewhere in the kitchen I have a bottle of brandy that’s never been opened. Somebody gave it to me for Christmas a couple of years ago. I don’t usually drink stuff like that but if it’ll get you to tell me why you haven’t been laughing, then it’s my drink of choice tonight. You game?” “I might as well. As long as it’s a trade for your story too.” “Deal. You know, for a pretend date, you went out of your way to make it feel like the real deal.” Kyle smiled at Colby. “Thanks for doing that for me.” “Maybe someday if things work out, we won’t have to pretend.”

111

son of A Ditch 57 “I’m gonna make you a bet,” Tag said as they readied for bed. “You betting your ass again?” Clay smiled, playfully pinching Tag’s naked left cheek. “Cut it out. Come on, I’m serious.” “Me too. I’m feeling a little frisky tonight after seeing those two kiss like that.” “That’s what I’m talking about. There’s big time chemistry between them. They may say they were just punking us but there was no pretending in that kiss. They both poured a truckload of feelings into it. I’ll bet you anything they’ll be lovers in no time.” “It doesn’t take a psychic to predict that. I’m happy for both of ’em, but especially for Kyle. I’m so tired of seeing him practically in tears after he’s been with Wes. That guy makes me want to get violent, you know?” “Yeah, I know. I feel the same,” Tag said. “I have to also say that I really like Colby. Yes, I know I was a little jealous of him at first but now I can easily see why you liked him so much in high school. He’s just genuinely nice—and funny as hell. And he doesn’t pretend to be anything he’s not. Laid back, but really sharp—and it’s the kind of intelligence that doesn’t feel like he needs to impress, you know?” “Which is how you know when somebody is really smart. He also doesn’t have a mean or dishonest bone inside him. Just a totally sweet guy and good person and that’s exactly what Kyle needs. But I also think there’s something under the surface that Colby’s holding back. I don’t know what it is, but I think somebody might have hurt him.” “Why, did he say something to you?” “No, not really, except the way he acted kind of sad when I asked him if he was in a relationship. Of course it could have also just been my imagination.”

111 “His name is Gregg Allcott. ‘Gregg with two g’s and Allcott with two t’s.’” Colby took a sip of his brandy. “That’s what he always

58 William Neale tells people when he meets them. Anyhow, he’s an attorney who works for QUE in Washington D.C.”. “I’ve never heard of QUE. What do they do?” “It stands for Queers United for Equality. It’s an activist organization similar to the Human Rights Commission only a lot smaller and quite a bit more controversial and politically left. Gregg’s job as their staff attorney was to oversee all the discrimination lawsuits they had going at any given time. He also defended them in court when the leaders got themselves arrested on purpose. QUE tries to get publicity by doing really bold and shocking stunts—sort of like a gay rights version of PETA.” “And you and Gregg were partners?” “Until about a month ago.” “How long had you been together?” “We lived together for a little over a year and dated for about six months prior to that.” “So you had a year and a half invested in him. What went wrong?” “Long story. But I guess we’ve got the time and you’ve got the brandy. I met Gregg in a bar—a gay bar just off DuPont Circle, which is an area in D.C. where a lot of gay people live and hang out. I wasn’t there to pick up anybody. I just wanted to have a beer someplace where I could be gay. Anyhow, this real good looking preppy kind of guy walks up to me and says ‘Hey, Air Force. That tattoo is hot and so are you.’ My first thought was to laugh at the really cheesy pick-up line. Then I wondered if he was some undercover MP out to bust me. But I remembered that I was wearing a muscle shirt and sitting in a gay bar so anybody could see the Air Force eagle on my arm. So I figured he was probably just hitting on me.” “So what did you say?” “I said thanks and sort of dismissed him in a nice way. But he was persistent. Said he had a thing for military guys. I said I wasn’t looking to hook-up. One thing led to another and before

son of A Ditch 59 I knew it, we were having a really intelligent conversation about gays in the military.” “And you were starting to like him.” “Yeah. So I did let him pick me up. And we walked to his apartment. He thought he was going to get laid and I made it clear from the get-to that wasn’t gonna happen. So we just stayed up the whole night getting to know each other and went out for breakfast the next morning. He was really intelligent and funny and made me feel like I was too, you know?” “You are intelligent and funny.” “Come on, stay on the subject. After that, we started seeing each other pretty much every weekend. But I didn’t sleep with him until we both started saying we loved each other.” “And did you love him?” “Sure I did. I guess I still do even though I don’t want to.” “So what happened?” “We found a townhome to rent about halfway between the base and his office. I thought I’d found the man I could spend a lifetime with. We made all kinds of plans. I was going to stay in D.C. after I got out of the Air Force and go to college there. But things changed between us when he got this idea that I should out myself and do some big-time public stunt to ridicule the Air Force’s “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy.” “But that’s on the way out, isn’t it?” “Not when this first started. At the time, Gregg and his bosses thought it shouldn’t be a big deal to me since I was only a few months away from discharge anyhow.” “And you said no?” “I said hell no. No way I’d do that, especially knowing how it would embarrass my family back home. On top of that, I enjoyed my Air Force job very much. Plenty of friends, including some officers, knew I was gay and not once did I ever feel harassed, discriminated against or have anybody threaten to kick me out.”

60 William Neale “In other words you had no ax to grind personally. So I imagine Gregg applied a lot of pressure on you to do what QUE wanted.” “At first he said it didn’t matter. But it did matter. He thought I was selling out my principles as a gay man and betraying gay Americans everywhere. I couldn’t make him understand that I was raised to honor my word and my contracts. I knew I was gay when I entered the Air Force and I knew its policy about gays. More importantly, I took an oath and I intended to keep it.” “And he didn’t have a clue why that was important to you,” Kyle said. “No, not really, although he claimed to. And neither did QUE’s leadership who put a lot of pressure on him to turn me. So Gregg and I had a lot of fights about it. And his friends I was talking about earlier? They were downright mean and judgmental, and Gregg rarely came to my defense.” “So that’s why you two broke up.” “No, not directly. We had grown more distant but we were sleeping together every night and still having sex regularly. We talked about getting some counseling and he said he really wanted to make our relationship work. Despite our differences, I loved him and he did have some really good qualities. I knew that if we could just get over this whole QUE thing, then we could move on as an openly gay couple. I was even ready to bring him home and introduce him to the family.” “Wow, you really were serious about him.” “It was time they found out anyhow. So to fast-forward the story, I was in my last month at Andrews and I’d taken a real nasty head cold. My CO told me to go home before I gave it to everybody else, so I did. When I got there, Gregg’s car was in the driveway and there was another car blocking my side of the garage.” “Oh, shit, I know what’s coming.” “Yeah, exactly. They were in bed together and making matters worse, from the scattered clothes, I could tell it was some other

son of A Ditch 61 Air Force guy on top of him. Gregg later claimed it was just a one­ time fuck and that it didn’t mean anything. But while they were still in bed shouting to the high heavens, I checked his computer and found e-mails where he had done daytime hook-ups a lot of times before. But that wasn’t even the worst part. Besides my heart being broken, he and I had stopped using condoms when we moved in together. He was the only guy I ever had trusted enough to have unprotected sex. I was scared to death that I had been exposed to HIV or some other STD.” “Colby—that’s just terrible. I would have killed him. I would have killed both of them.” “Don’t think I didn’t want to. I told him to pack his bags and get out and I also told him that if he had given me anything I really would come after him.” “Did you get tested?” “Yes. Twice now. And I’m still clean, thank God. But I’m still not out of the woods. My doc said to get tested again six months after my last exposure with him.” “So what happened to Gregg?” “He begged me to forgive him. He swore it would never happen again. He’s still calling me but I don’t take his calls anymore. Usually he calls my cell phone late at night and I can tell he’s been drinking when I hear the message the next morning.” “So, is there a chance you could ever forgive him and take him back?” “Absolutely not. It’s over. I’ll never forgive him and I’ll also never forget. But I’m trying real hard to move on. I don’t deal with anger real well. It sort of eats me up inside and even makes me physically sick, you know? So eyes forward and no looking back.” “You say that but you’re still hurting.” “Sure I am but the only way to get over it is to get over it. I just still feel like such a fool because I put myself way out on a limb with him emotionally—and he knowingly risked my health

62 William Neale too.” “No wonder you needed to laugh tonight. Poor guy. I want to hug you right now.” Colby smiled and squeezed his arm. “Thanks, but as good as you look to me right now, if you hug me I think the alcohol I’ve had will make me want more than a hug. So we better not.” “Yeah, I understand. Can I tell you something though?” “Sure.” “When I kissed you tonight, I meant it.” “You’re just a little drunk right now.” “No, I’m in complete control of what I’m saying.” “Okay, fair enough. I meant it too and that’s the problem. I’m not ready for a relationship so soon, Kyle.” “I guess I’m not either, really. I’ve got to take care of some unfinished business first.” “You want to pour me some more of that brandy and tell me about it?” “Sure. We’re gonna have hangovers in the morning but who cares? I could talk with you like this all night.” “Yeah, no question we connect that way. We always have. And don’t think that doesn’t cause all kinds of flutters to my heart. But now that you know my story, you can understand why I need to take my time on this, okay?” “More than okay. I’m not going anywhere, and I’ll be here anytime you want to talk.” “Thanks, Kyle. That’s means a lot. So it’s your turn to spill the beans now.” “My story’s a lot shorter and it’s not one I’m proud of. Do you remember Coach Watson from school?” “The wrestling coach? Sure I do. Huge biceps and he always wore his coach’s shirts a size too small so his arms would stretch the sleeves to the point of bursting. I always thought he was in

son of A Ditch 63 love with himself but he was still major hot.” “He still is in love with himself and he’s still major hot. And, as the old Stevie Wonder song says, he’s been my ‘part-time lover’ since the summer we graduated from high school.” “Wow! Holy moly. He’s like this big macho muscle bear. I would have never guessed he’s gay. I thought he was married.” “He is. At least semi-happily, I guess. He has two boys and a daughter. It started between me and him about a month after I graduated from high school. You’d already left for the Air Force. I was volunteering at a summer football camp for fourth and fifth graders and so was Coach Watson—Wes—and we became friends instead of just coach and wrestler on his team. I was very attracted to him but I’d never done anything with a guy—ever— and I was scared to do or say anything to him about it. Besides, he was married and at the time his oldest boy was just a baby.” “Wes is not that much older than us, is he?” “He’s thirty-three or thirty-four. I don’t know when his birthday is.” “You’ve dated him for eight years and you don’t know his birthday?” “It’s complicated, Cole. Anyhow, his wife took the baby to go visit her parents somewhere out of town. He invited me over to grill burgers and drink a few beers. We got a little drunk and ended up in bed together. I stayed the whole weekend with him.” “Your birthday’s in September. You were still seventeen then.” “Yeah, I know what you’re saying but I don’t blame him. Yes, he kept feeding me beers and sort of seduced me. But I was just as eager as him to have sex. After that, he would call me up about every other week or so and we’d meet in a motel somewhere out of town where nobody would recognize him.” “Were you lovers or just fuck buddies?” “I wanted to believe we were lovers. He told me he loved me. He still says that whenever I threaten to end things. But I am forbidden from ever calling or e-mailing him. It has to be entirely

64 William Neale on his terms. He calls me when he’s got a couple of hours free away from school or the family. That’s the only contact we ever have.” “A couple of hours? Why would you settle for that, Kyle? As good a catch as you are, you deserve way better than a couple of sneaking-around hours twice a month. Why would you let this asshole treat you this way?” “You don’t understand, Cole. He does things for my body that are pretty awesome. I don’t want to keep seeing him but he’s the only sex outlet I have. When he calls, I’m too horny and too weak to resist. I always hate myself afterwards but it’s like he has some kind of power over me.” “So, I’ll ask a stupid question. Is there any chance you can ever have a normal relationship with him?” “No, that’s the thing. He’ll never leave his wife. I know it can never be anything more than it is. On top of that, I’m the sheriff ’s son. Everybody expects me to replace Dad when he retires. Seeing Wes is a safe way for me to be gay without worrying about people finding out. So maybe I’ve been using him too.” “Kyle, I don’t believe that. I think you really want to be in love and you don’t want to have to hide any more. You don’t even want to be sheriff, do you? You’re letting this guy destroy any chances for love you might have while he lives the perfect life. He gets his nice perfect family and a perfect no-risk stud on the side anytime he wants.” “I know. And you’re right. But I just don’t know what to do. I’ve tried breaking it off but he always convinces me to come back. Shit—just look at me. Maybe I am drunk. I’m getting all teary like some little school girl.” “I’ve changed my mind about that hug. Come here. You need it more than me.” Kyle scooted closer and melted into Colby’s arm as it wrapped protectively around him. “Thanks, Cole. This is exactly what I need right now.” “You know it can only be this and nothing more tonight,

son of A Ditch 65 right?” “Yeah, I know. But I can still pretend it’s my boyfriend holding me like this.” “That you can.” Colby softly kissed Kyle’s cheek. “Can I ask you something really personal?” “Depends on what it is.” “You said you knew you were gay when you entered the Air Force, right?” “Yeah, I’d known for a long time but just kept it hidden.” “Isn’t it weird that we both were in the closet at the same time, yet we were such good friends?” “Yeah, makes you wish we could go back in time and do things over again.” “You’d really do things over?” “Yeah, knowing what I know now and holding you like this, I wish we had come out to each other. We could have been an old married couple by now.” “Wouldn’t that be something? But I guess we can only look forward at this point. So back to my personal question.” “I thought you asked it.” “Nope. So you knew you were gay then. Were you a virgin when you left home?” “You know I wasn’t.” “No, I’m not talking girls. I mean with other guys.” “I’d had sex with a guy only one time and I’m not even really sure it qualified as sex.” “With who?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Come on. That was way back in high school and it’s me

you’re talking to.” “One night a buddy and I went to his house after a football

66 William Neale game we’d won. His parents were out of town and we wanted to celebrate. I don’t remember why you weren’t with us—you must have had a date that night. Anyhow, we helped ourselves to his dad’s liquor cabinet and got totally smashed. At some point one of us kissed the other. I don’t even remember who started it. We kissed some more and ended up naked on his couch and jacking each other. I think we were too drunk to really do anything else— not that we even knew how at the time. When we woke up the next morning, both of us sort of panicked and I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. He and I have never talked about it to this day.” “You gonna tell me who this buddy was?” “You know him well.” “It had to be Clay.” “I didn’t tell you that.”

chAPteR seven “Well, I’m glad to know my prodigal brother really does exist,” Matt Dawson said as he walked through the door of his parents’ family room and immediately grabbed Colby in a tight hug. “How come my baby bro hasn’t come to see his favorite big brother yet?” “Just been real busy since I got back. But it’s real good to see you, Matty.” He patted Matt’s belly. “Is this a little gut you got going or are you just pregnant?” “Fuck you,” Matt said under his breath because of the children in the room. “Just you wait till you’re married with kids. Try finding time for gym workouts then. Hey, look—Kyle’s here too.” He walked past Colby to shake Kyle’s hand. “I didn’t know you were joining us but what a welcome surprise. How you doing?” “I’m doing great, Matt. Sorry to crash your family dinner. Cole made me come with him.” “Oh, cut that crap. You know how fond Mama is of you. With Colby finally back too, she’s gotta be on Cloud Nine today. So tell me why my brother here made you come?” “We’re sharing an apartment,” Colby interrupted. “And I figured if I get to eat well today so should he.” “So what’s Mama and Daddy saying about you not living with them?” “Take a wild guess. They still think I’m fifteen.” “That you’re definitely not. What’s it been since I saw you— Christmas two years ago? You’ve gotten bigger, brother. Hitting the gym pretty hard, I see. You too, Kyle. Looking at you two makes me want to throw up when I see myself in the mirror. Believe me, there are days when I wish I could be single and free again like you guys.” “But you wouldn’t trade that family of yours for anything.”

68 William Neale “You know it. One day you both will know what it feels like to come home after a crappy day and suddenly have three little kids come running to their daddy like its Christmas morning. There is no better feeling than that.” “Well who knows?” Colby said. “Maybe we’ll have that one day. So aren’t you a little late for the big meeting?” “What big meeting?” “The one in Daddy’s office with Cy Jr. and Caleb. They’ve got the door shut and they’ve been in there for twenty minutes now.” “I don’t know anything about it. But I’m about to go find out. Excuse me, Kyle. If it’s what I think it is you might just see a few family fireworks.”

111 “What? You called a Board meeting without your CFO?” Matt said as he opened the door without first knocking. “If you weren’t so late you would have been in here too, Matt,” said Cy Sr. “Find a chair and park it.” “Don’t you guys think it’s just a little bit rude to leave Colby and Kyle out there alone while you’re in here talking with the door shut?” “They’re not alone,” Cy Jr. answered. “There’s eight grandchildren climbing all over ’em and three wives who think our precious Colby hung the moon. Why do you always have to be such a sour son of a bitch?” “Why do you always have to be such a jealous asshole? For Christ’s sake, Colby just got home.” “That’s enough, boys, I don’t need bickering on Family Day. Matt, we were just discussing Cy and Caleb’s idea about the company sending Colby to college. I know I wanted him to go to mechanics school but now I think college might be a good idea. Particularly if he can save us so much money in engineering outsourcing.” Matt laughed. “Cy and Caleb’s idea? Shit, Dad, neither one of

son of A Ditch 69 them has had an original idea in their entire lives.” “Fuck you, Matt. I’m really tired of your mouth,” Cy Jr. retorted. “Stop the foul language, both of you. It’s Sunday and you just left church. I know where the idea started, Matt,” Cy Sr. said. “So should we tell him today or pick a time when the whole family isn’t here?” “Dad, if you’re approaching this as something you ‘tell’ him, it’s not going to work. You know how Colby is. He’s just as stubborn as you and if he thinks he’s being railroaded he’ll tell us all to go to hell.” “I’m his father. He’d better listen to me.” “Dad, that’s my whole point. He’s a grown man making his own decisions. You gotta lay off all that ‘he’d better,’ stuff. You need to listen to me. I know Colby better than any of you.” “I think we should just call him in here and tell him the way things need to be,” Cy Jr. said. “He has to quit this embarrassing job he has fixing school buses and show that he’s a Dawson. This is as much about respecting our family name and reputation as it is helping the company.” “Joe Burris called me up yesterday and asked if it’s true we were having money problems,” Caleb said. “I asked him where he’d heard such a ridiculous thing and he said that word is we couldn’t afford to give Colby a job.” “Damn it! I knew that’s what people would think,” Cy Sr. said. “If the chairman of the hospital board and right now our biggest client believes that, then so do all our other clients and half the rest of the town.” “Dad, calm down,” Matt said. “How many bills have we failed to pay on time? How many payrolls have we not met? That’s what makes people start talking. Dawson Construction is one of the biggest economic incubators in East Tennessee and the people whose livelihoods count on our cash flow know that. If we were in trouble, a hell of a lot of people would know it real fast.”

70 William Neale “Still, I need to rein in my son. He needs to live here in this house and work for us while he goes to school. Okay, I admit I screwed up when he got out of high school. But you all know he’s a wizard with engines. I just thought that was where he ought to focus.” “I say we give him an ultimatum. Either accept our help now or forget about us ever doing another thing for him.” Matt let out an exasperated breath. “Caleb, what’s your retribution if he doesn’t kow-tow to you? Kick him out of the family? Come on and give me a break. That’s not only short­ sighted, it’s just plain stupid.” “This is family business and he’ll understand why it makes so much sense to do this.” “All he’ll hear is c-e-n-t-s,” Matt spelled out. “And all he’ll understand is that for the first time in his life you guys actually need him for something. Otherwise, you two have pretty much always acted like he’s your ugly step-brother.” “He’s a Dawson. He will put family first,” Caleb answered. “Just like you have, Caleb? The way you and Cy Jr. waited until your brother is twenty-six years old to finally tell him he has value? Yeah, that’s putting family first all right.” “Boys, that is enough,” Cy Sr. said. “I’m gonna go get Colby right now and we’re gonna tell him the way things need to be.” “No you’re not,” a familiar voice said. “This is the first family dinner day in two and a half years with all four of my boys here. Plus we have a guest who is very special to me. You are not going to ruin it with more of these closed door meetings nor are you going to tell Colby anything about what to do.” Ruth Dawson stood in the doorway, hands on her hips; no one had heard her open the door, or knew how long she’d been listening. “Ruth, this is important,” Cy said. “We’ll just be a couple more minutes.” “I said this meeting is over. I want every one of you out of here right now. My dinner is getting cold on the table. Everyone

son of A Ditch 71 else is already seated and waiting on Granddad to give the blessing. Now move your hind ends to the dining room right now.”

111 “This really is the best fried chicken ever,” Kyle said under his breath to Colby. “I need to tell her that.” They were seated next to each other at the giant dining table for the adults. The kids were eating at card tables set up in the corners of the room. “I wasn’t kidding the other day. If you tell her that, you’ll be here every Sunday. Just don’t say you weren’t warned.” “Mrs. Dawson, can I tell you something?” Kyle asked. “Well of course you can.” “You know how my mother died when I was sixteen.” “I was there with her, honey. Remember? Nell was my dear friend.” “Yes ma’am, I do, and I won’t ever forget all you did for us either. Well, before she got sick, Mom used to make big Sunday dinners too. And I haven’t tasted fried chicken as good as hers until today at your table. With all the other wonderful dishes you’ve made, I feel like she’s back and cooking for me again. I hope that doesn’t offend you, but your Sunday dinner just makes me remember her so much.” Ruth put down her fork and pulled her napkin from her lap to dab her eyes. “Oh, you sweet boy, that is the nicest compliment I have ever received. Nell was a wonderful cook. She and I exchanged recipes all the time and I still have them and still use them. If my cooking reminds you of her, then I will make sure you have it every week. You will be here with us every Sunday from now on, you hear?” “Yes ma’am. Thank you.” “Do I know her or what?” Colby said under his breath. “Shut up, Colby. I have my reasons.”

chAPteR eight “George, get in here,” Governor Carson Foreman shouted. Sixty seconds later his chief of staff, George Eller, appeared at the door and walked in without knocking. The rotund and balding, almost albino-looking man appeared out of breath. “What took you so long?” “Give me a second. I got here as fast as I could. And, by the way, that intercom button right there about two inches from your finger? It’ll let me know you want me without the entire floor also knowing.” “Save it, George. What’s this all about?” He held up a stapled several-page memorandum with the governor’s seal embossed at the top. “I don’t have my glasses on, Carson. Let me see it.” He reached and took the report. “Why are you asking me this? This is your memo to the House and the Senate indicating your location choice for the new prison.” “Oh, so you can read without your glasses, can you? Well pity your ears don’t work as well.” “What are you talking about?” “You have me sending the prison to some mountain top in a little hillbilly place called Erwin. Have I even been there?” “You’ve been to every town in the state that has at least two gas stations and a McDonald’s. Erwin is the only town that not only will take it but which wants it.” “I told you I wanted it in Moorestown.” “And the Mayor there told you the only place his town would accept a prison was next door to their garbage landfill. Plus—and I told you this—the old man who owns the site did not respond favorably to my proposal to purchase his land. So since Erwin wants it, I decided to send it there—and they’re offering free

74 William Neale land.” “So now it’s your decision, huh? And who elected you governor?” “Carson, you know I make a lot of routine decisions for you and this is one of them. That’s what a chief of staff does.” “I want the damn prison to go to Moorestown.” “What possible reason would make you care where the prison goes? Moorestown doesn’t want it. Erwin does. Land is land. Why piss off the seventh largest city in the state when you don’t have to? You actually got a lot of votes there because of sending them the college.” “Didn’t you tell me that the state bought up a whole bunch of land around that new college?” “Yes, but that’s for future expansion of the campus. Remember?” “Put it there.” “We can’t put a prison on land intended for a state university.” “It’s owned by the State of Tennessee, is it not?” “Yes, but—” “Then that’s where I want it. It’ll save the tax payers money since we already own the land. Don’t argue with me about this, George. Just make it happen.” “Carson, tell me what’s really going on here. I need to know the logic of what’s in your head because this decision will cause a huge public outcry locally and a whole lot of questions from both the legislature and the news media.” “That uppity Mayor Simpson needs to be taken down a few notches. He talks down to me like I’m some ignorant cotton picking slave. He might as well put a white hood over his head and change his name to Jim Crow.” “He’s blacker than you, Carson.” “Which is why I want this done. Word has it he is putting out feelers to run for governor next time. A black Republican,

son of A Ditch 75 particularly a pretty one who looks black and talks like a white college professor, will not only steal the black women’s vote from me, he’ll appeal to all those guilty white peckerwoods who want to brag at their country clubs how they voted for a black man. Without those fools, I can’t get re-elected.” “Surely you don’t believe that.” “You know it’s true—you just don’t have the balls to call a spade a spade. If that prison goes next door to his pretty new college, Simpson will be ruined in that town because he’ll be powerless to stop it. All those whitey hillbillies who kiss his oreo ass will remember that he endorsed me. He’ll never win another election, much less ever be governor. “Do you have any clue how racist your rationale is? I’m offended and I’m used to the outrageous things you say.” “Save it for someone who cares, George. Just do what I ordered.” “I can’t use that to explain why we chose Moorestown.” “George, you’re a good implementer but a shitty PR guy. Take this down: Governor Foreman chose the Moorestown site adjacent to Lakeway State University for two compelling reasons. First, it is on land already owned by the state, which will save the taxpayers millions of dollars in unnecessary acquisition costs. Second, it will provide prisoners with unprecedented opportunities to rehabilitate through access to higher education. This will be the first penitentiary in the country to be constructed on a college campus. Governor Foreman’s vision will establish a bold and innovative new model of prison reform that will be emulated throughout the nation.” “Damn, you’re good.” “As the saying goes, ‘you can make up the truth if you know how.’ Oh, and one more thing. Let’s make Simpson think we chose Erwin until we release the announcement that it’s Moorestown.” He sat back in his chair and chuckled. “First we stab him in the gut. Then we twist it around some just for shits and giggles.”

chAPteR nine “This is so beautiful, Cole,” Kyle said. “I haven’t been up here since we were kids. I’d forgotten what a great view you have.” They had just finished stuffing themselves at yet another Dawson Sunday family dinner and decided to take a long hike to keep from falling asleep on the family room sofas. “We can see practically the whole town. Even the lake. And,” he pointed, “see that speck halfway up Booker’s Mountain? I think that might be Clay and Tag’s house.” Colby put his hand on Kyle’s shoulder as he tried to see where Kyle’s finger was aimed. He chuckled. “I think either you have Superman’s vision or I need glasses. “But I can see right below us. Look how well the college is coming along. It actually looks like a real campus now.” “Yeah, just a small one though. I guess it’ll take a few years to look like a regular one.” “Remember when you, Matt, and I used to race our dirt bikes there and pretend we were Evil Knievel? If Mama had found out we were flying through the air over big gullies she would have grounded our asses for years.” “What’s the new street entrance they’re putting in on the other side of the highway? I thought the college was just going to be built on the west side at first.” “I don’t know why they’re doing that. Dad sold the state that piece of land too. ‘Course you know all of this used to be my grandpa’s farmland. Maybe it’s for the future expansion of the college.” “So it probably made sense to put the base infrastructure in now to lower the future construction costs.” “How do you know that?” “I don’t know that I do. Just makes sense, don’t you think?” “I’m the one who grew up in a construction family. You hit

78 William Neale the nail on the head. Maybe you ought to be the civil engineer.” “I think you’ll be the only engineer in our family. I’m still trying to figure out if I want to be the next sheriff.” “Our family?” “I guess that was a little slip, huh? Can’t help it, Cole. That’s where my mind is stuck these days. I know it’s only been a month since we became roommates. I know you’re not ready for a relationship. And even though I’ve stopped seeing Wes, I still need to officially end it with him.” “Right on all counts. So what are you saying?” “Like I said—I can’t help it. I’m having feelings for you that I’ve never known before.” “Yeah, I guess I’m feeling some of my own. When we sat down for dinner with the family today it felt so natural for you and me to be there as a couple. That feeling is happening more and more now, and I like it.” “Then what’s keeping us from becoming a couple?” “I guess it’s me just being afraid of getting hurt again. I know logically there’s a huge difference between you and Gregg. You’re ten times the man he’ll ever be. And I know in my heart that you would never do to me what he did. I just still need to get over the head case he gave me before I can make a commitment to you.” “And I need you to get over Gregg before I can commit to you. But Cole—once you do, I promise that you won’t ever have to worry about me hurting you. When I commit to you, it’ll be exclusive and it’ll be for life. I’m not capable of anything else.” “I know that. And I appreciate how patient you’re being with me. I’m getting there. Just stick with me, okay?” “Just try getting rid of me now and you’ll have a fight on your hands.” “Really?” Colby smiled and softly grazed Kyle’s jaw. “I like that answer. But you also have your own set of issues. You just got through saying you haven’t cut off your relationship with Wes. And, you happen to still be deeply in the closet. You know

son of A Ditch 79 that there’s no way you and I could ever remain a secret in this town.” “First, don’t use the word ‘relationship’ because there isn’t one and never was one by any real definition of the word. Next time he calls and wants to get together I’ll just say ‘No, never again, and don’t call again.’ The way he’s treated me over the years, I don’t owe him anything more than that.” Colby, with his hand still on Kyle’s shoulder, squeezed the hard muscle. “Good. You just keep up that resolve when he does call. You told me before you’re weak when it comes to him.” “Not any more. Having you in my life is all the resolve I need. And as for coming out, the only person’s reaction I really care about is Dad’s and I have no idea how he’s gonna take it. But he’s so wrapped up in love with Irene, he hardly even knows he has a son these days.” “Does that bother you?” “I don’t know. I mean, I do see him at work every day but there, he’s my boss. Truth be told, I don’t enjoy going home anymore. It’s like she’s already moved in, even though she hasn’t. But she’s cooking him meals in Mom’s kitchen and acting like she’s already the boss of the house. And that’s before they’re even married.” “Hey, if she makes your dad happy, then be happy for him. Your Mom passed away ten years ago so it’s time for him to get on with his life. And I bet she would be the first person to tell him that. Be glad he’s found Irene.” “I don’t want to admit you’re right but I guess you are. I guess I’m just being a selfish shit about it, right?” “You’re just dealing with it the same way anybody would who lost their mother at such an early age. There’s nothing selfish about that. But at the same time, maybe it’s time to let go and move on.” “As in, with you?” “Cutting back to the chase, huh? Okay, fair enough. Let’s

80 William Neale maybe start taking some small steps. But please don’t rush me, okay?” “Would a kiss right now be too large of a step?” Colby gently palmed the back of Kyle’s neck and pulled him forward. “A kiss right now would taste even better than more of Mama’s chess pie.”

111 They held hands most of the way back to the house until they saw Cy Jr.’s oldest son, Skip, running up the hill towards them. Actually named Cyril Dawson III, he was eleven and already growing so Dawson-tall it made him appear gangly and awkward. Colby grinned. “He runs like a giraffe, doesn’t he?” “Hush, he’ll hear you.” “Uncle Colby, Grandpa is looking for you. He asked me to come find you.” “Okay, thanks, Skippy. You wanna go tell him I’m on my way?” “Sure, Uncle Colby.” “Giraffe, I tell you.” Colby laughed as the boy ran away the same way he came.

111 “They’re all in Cy’s office waiting on you,” Ruth Dawson told her youngest son. “I don’t know what they want with you but if I need to come in there and knock the air out of some inflated Dawson egos, you just let me know, okay?” “Thanks, Mama. I’ll be fine. You okay for a while, Kyle? I think I know what this is about and I intend to make it a short meeting.” “Don’t you worry about Kyle,” Ruth said, taking Kyle’s arm. “He’s coming to the kitchen with me for another piece of chess pie.” Kyle smiled and winked at Colby as the memory of their first serious kiss remained sweet.

son of A Ditch 81 “Have a seat, Colby.” Cy Sr. pointed to an armchair waiting next to his. Cy Jr. and Caleb sat on a large brown distressed leather sofa and Matt remained standing, leaning his elbow on the fireplace mantle.” “This looks mighty serious,” Colby said pleasantly. “Ya’ll must have some bad news for me.” “No, it’s not bad news at all,” his father said in an even tone. “More like a proposition that we hope you’ll consider very good news.” “Okay, fire away.” “Eight years ago when you graduated from high school I made a very big mistake.” “Are there icicles in Hell?” Colby teased. “When have you ever admitted to making a mistake, Dad?” “I don’t make many of ‘em, but I made one with you. You wanted to go to college just like your brothers did and I wanted you to go to the state tech school instead. I thought I knew better than you what was best for you. You’re downright remarkable when it comes to working on mechanical equipment and I thought that would be the best use of your God-given talent. You, obviously, said no to that and instead entered the Air Force.” “So what has changed your mind now?” “Your brothers changed my mind. They think that with your aptitude you would make a very fine engineer who could contribute to Dawson Construction’s continued success.” “I intend to major in either civil or mechanical engineering when I start school this fall.” “Then good. We’re already in agreement. We’re going to send you to Lakeway State to get your degree. While you’re going, the company will pay you a generous salary to gradually learn the business when you’re not in class. Then, once you’re graduated, you’ll come on full-time and start up an in-house engineering department which you will head. And, if you perform to the

82 William Neale extent we believe you’re capable of, then one day you’ll become a full partner in the firm.” “Well that’s mighty generous of you guys but I’m afraid I can’t accept.” “What?” Cy Jr. shouted. “Hush, Cy. Why can’t you accept?” “Please understand that I appreciate all you’re offering but you’re telling me what I’m going to do instead of asking me what I want to do. And Dad, you went completely into your business voice like this is some deal you’re negotiating instead of having a conversation with your son. So, since that seems to be the way you view it, I’m making a business decision too. Putting myself through school is something I intend to do on my own. I’ve saved a lot of money and it’s a goal I’ve had since the day you said a final no to college for me. When I get my degree—and I will—then I will have accomplished it without help from you or anyone else.” “But that’s exactly what we’re offering you. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want that.” “I did want your help eight years ago and you wouldn’t provide it. You didn’t respect my judgment enough to know what I wanted to do with my life. As always, you knew better. That’s put me eight years behind in having the kind of career my college-educated brothers already have. I appreciate you admitting you made a mistake, but I’m older now and we can’t just turn back the clock as though there was no harm, no foul. Whatever I accomplish at this point, it will be because I did it on my own without any help from you. If you want to call that stubborn Dawson pride, then you more than anybody should recognize it.” “You need to quit this dumbass job fixing school buses,” Cy Jr. said. “It’s embarrassing the family.” “And just how is being the chief mechanic for Moore County Schools embarrassing, Cy?” “People all over town think we can’t afford to give you a job.”

son of A Ditch 83 “So you’re offering me one so that people won’t think the company’s in trouble? That certainly makes me feel wanted, Cy.” “Stop twisting my words.” “Cy, be quiet. This is between me and Colby.” “I’m the future CEO of this company, Daddy, so please don’t tell me to be quiet. Colby, I understand you got your pride hurt but we’re trying real hard to make it up to you. We are offering you a really good career and handing it to you on a silver platter. You’ll make an excellent salary right off the bat that will even allow you to buy your own place so you won’t have to take in a roommate—even though we all like Kyle.” “I’m making a good salary now and I like having Kyle as a roommate. He’s good company and my best friend. Let me ask you a question, Cy. Why are you suddenly for this when you’ve never given me the time of day? I don’t think you and I have ever had a serious one-on-one adult conversation so forgive me if I have doubts about your sincerity.” “Forget Cy’s stupid crap about people talking, Colby,” Matt interrupted. “It’s irrelevant. This is also a business strategy. We’re spending over a million dollars a year in outsourced engineering costs. An in-house department headed by a brother and partner we trust will make the company a lot more profitable.” “Then why didn’t you just say so to begin with instead of making it look like you guys are doing me this big favor?” “Colby, our reasons are not mutually exclusive. Daddy is sincerely trying to correct a big mistake and to also improve the company’s future. This was my idea so if you want to blame somebody, then blame me. But I honestly thought it was win/ win for everybody. You and I have always been close and you know I only want the best for you. I love you, Colby, so let us do this for you.” “I love you too, Matty. I love all you guys. But my mind is made up and I have to do this my way. When I do get my degree, I’ll be glad to sit down with you and we can talk about me coming to work with you at that time. But if you’re paying for my

84 William Neale education, then I’ll be obligated to have to work for you and I’m not making that kind of commitment this far out. I don’t want to be beholden to you or anybody. You guys need to respect that.” “Colby, you’re making a serious mistake, son. Please just take a few days and think it over, okay?” “The answer is no, Daddy. Your way obligates me to Dawson Construction for the rest of my life. I deeply respect everything you’ve built and accomplished but we’re talking the future here and I’m not sure I want to hitch my wagon to two older brothers who call me a gas station attendant behind my back. It doesn’t mean I’m abandoning the family. In my eyes they are two entirely separate things.” “No, what it means is you’re a traitor,” Cy Jr. said. “You’re turning your back on your family in retribution for a mistake we tried to correct. You think Daddy fucked you over so now it’s your turn to say ‘fuck you’ to the whole family.” “Shut up, Cy, that’s enough from you!” Matt shouted. Cy Jr. ignored his brother and kept his eyes fixed on Colby. “You walk away from this, as far as I’m concerned, don’t come back and you can forget that you have a family.” “That goes for me too,” Caleb added, finally offering his first words of the meeting. “If you’re not working with us, then you’re working against us. And if you’re against us, we don’t want you around us either professionally or personally.” “Colby, don’t listen to them,” Matt interrupted again. “They’re full of horseshit. All they’re doing is trying to bully you into submission. You don’t want to take our offer, then that’s your call and I respect your right to make it. Daddy, you tell Colby that. This is still your company.” Cy hesitated, clearly forming his words carefully before saying them. “Colby, you’re my son, I love you, and you know I’ll do anything I can to help you. But until you learn to put your family’s interests before your personal pride, I think it’d be best if you do as Cy and Caleb say and maybe go it alone for a while until you reconsider.”

son of A Ditch 85

111 “Kyle, we need to leave!” Colby walked rapidly into the kitchen. Kyle was sitting at a breakfast table located in the alcove while he watched the kids and their mothers outside playing croquet on the back lawn. “But your mom just poured me another cup of coffee. Can we wait till I finish it?” “What’s wrong, Colby?” Ruth said as she came from the other side of the room, a dish towel still in her hand. “My Lord, you’re shaking. What did they do to you?” “You’ll need to talk to Daddy. It was his decision.” “What decision? What have they done?” “I have to get out of here right now. I love you, Mama. I may be leaving town for a while but I’ll call you when the dust settles, okay? Come on, Kyle.” “Colby, what are you talking about?” Ruth began to cry. “Please don’t leave me again. Let me go talk to him.” “Bye, Mama.” With no room to turn around in the car-filled driveway, Colby jammed the truck into a hard reverse. His foot slammed the accelerator to the floor as he released the clutch and the squeal of burning rubber pierced the air. “Colby, stop the truck!” Kyle shouted. “Stop right now!” Colby clamped his foot on the brake. Tears streamed down his face. “He kicked me out of the family, Kyle. He told me I need to go it alone now.” “What? Did you come out to him?” “No, it’s not that. I’ll tell you when we get out of here.” “No, you’re too upset to drive. Let me drive.” “I’m fine. Okay, maybe I’m not. Could you just hold me for a

86 William Neale second till I can settle down a little?” Kyle slid over, put his arm around Colby’s shoulders and kissed his temple. “Whatever it is, I’m right there with you, okay?” He kissed him again on the cheek. “God, I’m so glad I have you right now,” Colby said. He looked up. “Oh, fuck! Look—Mama’s coming down the driveway toward us. Gotta get out of here. Just hang on.” With his head turned to the rear, Colby maneuvered the vehicle backwards down the long and sloping driveway until he reached the highway. Squealing rubber again as he switched gears into first, he unintentionally fishtailed the back of the truck and clipped one of the new pillars. Looking into his rear-view mirror he saw the flying pig sculpture on top first teeter, then topple and crash to the pavement below.

111 As Colby’s truck disappeared from sight, Ruth Dawson stood crying in the middle of the driveway while the daughters-in-law and children ran from the backyard to see what had made all the noise, and what was wrong with Grandma. Cy and his three eldest sons slowly came out of the front door in single file, each revealing grim, dejected expressions. “What have all of you gone and done?” she shouted at the men. “He said he’s leaving town! How dare you do that to my son! Tell me what you’ve done!” Cy stood motionless, unable to answer—while none of the other sons had the mettle in that moment to respond either. “Mom, was Uncle Colby not feeling well?” Matt Jr. asked, breaking the several seconds of awkward, even stunned silence. “No, honey, I don’t think he felt very well,” Mary Alice, his mother, answered. “That must be why Mr. McCoy was kissing him to make it better.”

chAPteR ten “Ruth, you’re not listening and you’re not being reasonable. I needed to make a point with Colby that would have some impact. He knows he’s not really banned from the family and he’s not going to leave town again.” Ruth’s tears had been replaced by a fury she made no attempt to temper. After abruptly sending the rest of the family back to their respective homes, she now confronted her husband. “How do you know that? He was shaking when he came into the kitchen to get Kyle. You didn’t see how upset he was.” “Yes, I did. He over-reacted, Ruth. I tried to calm him down but he wouldn’t listen. I just wanted him to understand that the family’s needs come before his own personal pride. But all he could fix on was that I sided with Cy and Caleb and it sort of hit him like a punch in the stomach. I honestly didn’t think he would react that way, Ruth. Matt tried his best to talk to him too, but Colby just shot out of the room like a bullet. I’ve never seen him that angry before.” “Because Colby doesn’t get angry. Of all my boys, he is the most even-keeled and sweet-natured. You did this despite the fact that I warned you. I told you not to push him and yet you ignored your wife and supposed equal partner of thirty-six years, and did it your way and only your way. Well, you’re gonna fix this. And until you do, you can find somewhere else to sleep in this house. Right now, the less I see of you, the better.” She turned to walk away but stopped and faced her husband again. “And I’ll tell you something else. Until you and your two oldest clones get your stupid arrogant heads out of your butts and recognize that family priorities and your company’s needs are two entirely different things, there will be no more family dinner days. In fact, since I seem to be on a roll, I’ll take it a step farther. Cy Jr. and Caleb are banned from this house the same way you banned Colby. They may not come back until they make

88 William Neale things right with Colby and you are to tell them both that. And you better consider yourself darn lucky that I don’t ban you too.” “Ruth, I’ll patch things up with Colby. Just calm down, okay?” “No, I have every right to be angry so don’t you tell me to calm down. And we’ve not even gotten to what Cy Jr. called Colby and Kyle after Matt Jr. said he saw Kyle kissing him.” “No, he shouldn’t have called them fags, particularly in front of the grandchildren. It was a very poor choice of both words and judgment and I already chewed him out for it. We taught our boys a lot better than that.” “At least we’re in agreement on something here.” “Ruth, this is bigger than just Cy calling Colby and Kyle fags. He and Caleb have gradually developed this inflated sense of entitlement over the past few years. More and more, Cy acts like he’s already the CEO. He even called himself that today after I asked him to be quiet at one point. The way I feel right now, I’d put Matt in charge. He’s the smartest and most level-headed of ’em. But back to Colby. If he and Kyle are gay, I’ll accept that and support them. But they’ve got a big uphill battle to climb in this town—especially with Kyle being the sheriff ’s son. They’re gonna get called fags and worse.” “Which is all the more reason why you better do everything you can to protect them. You have some serious damage control to deal with and not just with your son. I’ve put up with your ego and your obstinacy all these years because I love you. But right now, I most definitely don’t like you.” She turned again to leave the room and this time did not look back. Cy rubbed his temples. His head ached more than he could remember it hurting in a long time. He felt both exhausted and defeated. Once again, he was reminded of who really headed his household.

111 Kyle’s cell phone rang shortly after they returned to their

son of A Ditch 89 apartment. He looked at the caller ID and frowned. “Shouldn’t you answer that?” Colby asked. He had just poured what was left of the brandy into a glass and took a large sip. “I don’t want to but guess I might as well deal with it now rather than later.” He punched the Answer button. “Hi, Wes.” Colby silently mouthed “You want me to leave?” to which Kyle shook his head, no. “No, you can’t stop by; I have a roommate now…No, I’m not sleeping with him…You don’t have a need to know his name… Yes, he is but I told you we are not sleeping together…Wes, you have no right to be jealous. You sleep with your wife every night for Christ’s sake…No, you listen to me. I’m tired of you calling me on the spur of the moment and expecting me to drop whatever I’m doing just because your wife decides to take the kids to see the latest Toy Story movie…No, you don’t love me. I’ve wasted eight years hearing you swear love to me and it’s nothing but cheap, empty words. All you want is a quick, down-low fuck and then you go back to your perfect little family…No, I don’t love you. I used to think I did but I finally wised up to what love is supposed to be…How I know that is none of your business. I’m ending this now, Wes. No more. I mean it this time. Don’t call me again.” Kyle pushed the “End” button and held the cell phone in mid-air as though expecting an immediate call back. “First my drama, now yours. Jesus, what a day!” Colby said. “Did our horoscopes say not to get out of bed this morning?” “You mind letting me have a gulp of what you’re drinking?” “I’ll do better than that. Here, you take the rest. God knows we both need it.” “Thanks,” Kyle said accepting the small amount of what remained. “We got anything else here to drink? I agree we both need it right now.” “No, just maybe some beer. Wait a minute. One of my boxes down in the storage bin has what used to be in my liquor cabinet.”

90 William Neale “Good. Let’s go find it. We’re gonna need at least one more of these.” He lifted the glass in a mock toast. “You okay, Kyle?” “That’s what I should be asking you. As for me, I don’t know.” “What you said to Wes was honest, direct, and exactly what he needed to hear. No way do I believe you were ever too weak to resist him. You rocked just now.” “I’ve been weak when it comes to him way too long. I still am. He’s the only guy I’ve ever been with, Cole. I couldn’t have done it without you being there for me.” “Yes, you could and you know that. Still, I’m proud of you. Now you just have to stick to your guns ’cause you know he won’t give up that easily.” “Yeah, good ole Coach is used to having his way about pretty much everything. But look at you being all supportive of me when it’s you who had the really bad day. Your dad and brothers forced you to choose between your family and your so-called pride. They’re so damned blind or stupid that they don’t know the difference between pride and principle. It’s a pretty shitty way of treating the son and brother they supposedly love. But the part that scares me was you saying you may leave town.” “Oh, I didn’t mean that. I was just upset and being sort of an unplanned drama queen. Now that I’ve calmed down some I know that it was just Daddy being Daddy. He didn’t really mean it when he told me to go it alone and he’ll call me tonight or tomorrow and tell me that. But if they thought they knew Dawson stubbornness before, they’re gonna really see it now. Until Dad, Cy, and Caleb apologize for calling me a traitor and admit they’re wrong, I’m not going back. Not for Sunday family dinner. Not for anything. Dad said this is to teach me a lesson. Well sometimes you better be careful what you ask for. They’re going to learn that lesson from me big time.” “Just don’t dig the rift between you guys too deeply to cross. They’re your family. For the last month I’ve felt like I was part of it and I gotta tell you, it was really nice. You’re extremely lucky

son of A Ditch 91 to have that.” “I know and I’m sorry you’re not going to get to share that for a while. Which is why it especially pisses me off. But I don’t see any other way after what they said to me.” Colby let out a deep breath and shook his head. “It just makes me really sad.” “I have an idea,” Kyle said, making direct eye contact. “Just hear me out. After we find your liquor box, let’s pour another drink then go to one of our beds and just hold each other and talk. Could we do that?” “I’m not ready for sex, Kyle.” “That’s not at all what I’m suggesting. I just don’t want either of us to sleep alone tonight.”

111 Dark sunglasses and a Tennessee Titans baseball cap camouflaged his face from any passersby in the dusky light. Of course, someone who knew him could possibly recognize his car. But there were probably two dozen black Ford Explorers exactly like his in Moorestown so at worst, it was a low risk. Wes Watson sat parked directly in front of Kyle’s apartment balcony. He’d called from that spot and had been prepared to knock on Kyle’s door only seconds after hanging up. It was a good thing he simply hadn’t surprised him because now he knew there was someone else there with him. And that could have blown Wes’s cover right out of the closet. This whole roommate thing would not do. Whoever this guy was had obviously poisoned Kyle against him. He’d had a good, regular thing with Kyle for eight years now. Kyle could do things for his body that his wife couldn’t approach either physically or emotionally. Not that he’d actually had sex with her in a long time. And even then, it wasn’t anywhere close to being as good as with Kyle. He reached to turn the ignition key but halted when he saw them through the sliding glass door leading to the balcony. Kyle had still not bought blinds or shades even though Wes had told

92 William Neale him twice now to do it to ensure their privacy. Now, Kyle stood almost front and center in front of the window with his arms around the other man’s lower back, their crotches pressed closely together. He looks familiar. Dark hair, tall, built, good looking. Did he wrestle for me? No, I would have remembered a stud like that. Football team. Yes, that’s where I know him from. But what’s his name? The two kissed, then turned, walked away, and the light switched off seconds later. Like hell they’re not sleeping together. Wes turned the ignition and put the Explorer into reverse. It was now nearly dark. He ripped off the sunglasses and slung them hard against the front passenger window, not caring that they shattered upon impact. Twice in the past month he’d tried to get together with Kyle on short-notice occasions when he could get away from work or family. Both times Kyle had put him off, saying he couldn’t get away from what he was doing. And then tonight—attempt number three ended with rejection number three—and being told not to call again. Wes had suspected something like this was going on. Kyle usually moved mountains to free himself for their sessions and of late, he had seemed distant and even anxious to hang up when Wes called. Wes now had his answer. Kyle had a live-in boyfriend whose name was on the tip of Wes’s tongue but which still eluded him. He had never considered the possibility or the shock of that ever happening. He’d always thought they were both way too closeted to ever attempt a real gay relationship beyond their own. After all, Kyle was the likely future sheriff of Moore County so he had everything to lose by people finding out about him. Wes had always thought their relationship had been as safe and convenient as a clandestine arrangement can be, especially since Kyle now had his own place. A knot developed in Wes’s throat and his vision blurred. His

son of A Ditch 93 hands began to shake and he considered pulling over in case this was some freak heart attack or stroke happening. Then he realized it was an affliction he had not experienced since childhood. He was crying.

chAPteR eLeven It had been a routine shift for most of the day. Not much usually happened in the county and MPD covered Moorestown’s city limits. As he did almost every day, Kyle drove his patrol car on the county’s back roads and rural highways, getting only two official calls and stopping just one speeder. The first call was a house fire where he directed road traffic around the fire truck. Simple enough except for the friends-ofDad who wanted to stop in the middle of the road and chat while other cars waited patiently behind. It would have been rude to impatiently blow one’s car horn. Most people in Moore County were raised better than that. The second call involved a fender-bender between a pick­ up truck and a farm tractor. The former belonged to a visionimpaired eighty-four year-old man whose license had been taken away two years earlier. But, the tractor was technically an illegal road vehicle since it had no plates or registration. Since damage was minor and nobody was hurt, Kyle just asked the elderly man to hand over his car keys while they waited on his son to come get him. And the kid on the tractor was just going over to plough the next field and the two-lane county road was the only way he had to get there. Kyle let both men go without issuing citations. In a county where a McCoy ran for sheriff every four years, Kyle usually let off most people he stopped unless they were drunk, driving recklessly, or just mouthy assholes from someplace other than Moore County. “Kyle, where are you?” came the female dispatcher’s voice over the radio. Kyle keyed his mike. “Wanda, you’re supposed to use radio protocol when you call me.” “You answered didn’t you? Your daddy wants to see you.”

96 William Neale “Is he pissed about something?” “Well his face is not all beet red like when he gets mad so I’d say it’s something else.” “Okay, tell him I’m in Whitesburg right now so it’ll be about fifteen minutes before I can get back to the station.”

111 “Dad, I have to work. We’re super busy right now—I can’t come to your office,” Colby said into his cell phone. “Then how about meeting me for lunch? I feel awful about yesterday, son. I want us to talk about it. Can you get free?” “Yeah, but it can’t be more than an hour. I have to set an example for my guys.” “Then tell you what. I’ll call Ina at the diner and ask her to hold a booth for us so we don’t have to wait. You want me to order something for you while I have her on the phone?” “Whatever the Monday special is will be fine for me.” “Okay. Are you still mad at me?” “No, I’m not mad, but I also ain’t changing my mind. So if that’s what you want to talk about, then don’t bother.” “No, Colby, you’ve made your point and I’ll just have to respect that. But I really do need to talk to you.” “Okay, Dad. I’ll see you at Ina and Aden’s about five past noon.”

111 “Kyle, have a seat. We got us a potential problem.”

“What’s that, Dad?”

“Mayor Simpson called me this morning and said the governor

is planning to announce this afternoon that the new state prison is going to be built in Moorestown—directly across from the new college.” “Holy shit, that’s right next door to the Dawsons’ house. Colby told me that property was supposed to be used for future

son of A Ditch 97 expansion of the college.” “Yeah, well now they’re saying it will save the state taxpayers money by using land the state already owns. Using that logic, why don’t they put it next to the governor’s mansion? Anyhow, when the shit hits the fan on this we’re going to have a lot of people up in arms. Chief Grigsby at MPD and I just got off the phone. He’s thinking there will likely be some kind of organized protest, particularly when a bunch of rednecks with their guns get juiced up on liquor. He wants to set up a joint task force on this between the two departments just to be prepared in case something like that does happen. I told him I would send you to represent the county. Right now, it’s just a proactive planning thing—maybe nothing will ever amount to this. But we need a game plan just in case. You up to the task?” “Sure, it’ll be good to do something interesting for a change.” “You really don’t like being a deputy, do you?” “No, it’s not that. It’s just after almost eight years of doing the same thing day in and day out, I don’t feel challenged. It’s pretty boring most of the time. I was thinking I might take some courses at the new college this fall and eventually get my degree.” “I think that’s a fine idea. You’re smart and you’ve always been a hard worker so you’ll do well. And it’ll help you be a better sheriff one day. This task force will be good experience for you too.” “Yeah, I know that and I appreciate you trusting me to represent you.” “It’s because you’ve earned it. I’m proud of you, Kyle. Both as your boss and your father. I know I haven’t been much of the father part to you for a while, what with the wedding coming up and all. And I’m still so sorry that you felt you had to move out when you did.” “Dad, I’m dealing with that much better now. Actually Colby helped me finally get it. He said that as sad as you’ve been since Mama died, you deserve to have a ton of happiness, that I should be glad you’re so much in love, and that I shouldn’t resent Irene

98 William Neale being there now. He said Mom would be really pleased that you’ve found such a good woman. She wouldn’t want you to be alone for the rest of your life.” “Colby said all that, huh? Sounds like he inherited his mama’s heart and her common sense. I haven’t seen him since you two got out of high school. You need to bring him over for dinner one night.” “Yeah, that’d be great. He was just saying the other day how much he always liked you.” “Then tell you what. How about this Friday? You know how much Irene loves to entertain.” “If he’s not already made plans, we’ll be there. I’ll let you know. And as for why I moved out, don’t worry about that—it was time for me to be on my own. And you know, asking Colby to be my roommate was the best decision I ever made.” “I take it you guys have really hit it off.” “Yeah, we have.” He smiled. “It’s a real good situation for both of us.” “You using the ‘L’ word yet?” “What?” Kyle could hardly believe what his father had just asked. “Kyle, I know. I’ve known for a long time about who you’ve been meeting on the side. I hope having Colby in your life now will put an end to that business.” “But how could you know that? Wes and I were real careful.” “You can’t be sheriff as long as I’ve been and not know all kinds of things that go on in this county. Fortunately for you and Wes, Harvey Rollins at the Diplomat Motel has a very discreet mouth. But he does tell me things he thinks I ought to know. And in this case he was concerned that you might be playing with fire.” “Why didn’t you say something to me before?”

“Unless somebody’s breaking a law, it’s none of my business

son of A Ditch 99 and I figured since you’re of age, you deserve to live your life without my interference. But I do have to say I worry about you being with Watson. It could easily all blow up in your face if his wife ever finds out.” “Wes is past tense now, Dad. I won’t be seeing him anymore.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“So if I told you that Colby and I might soon be using the ‘L’

word, you wouldn’t mind?” “My preference is that you marry a nice girl and give me grandchildren. But what I want is irrelevant. If Colby makes you happy, then that’s all that matters to me. And besides, they don’t come any finer than Colby. I’ll be proud to have him in our family. And your mom would feel exactly the same way.” “Wow, Dad. Don’t be insulted but I would have never guessed you’d be so cool about it.” “It’s not me you’re gonna have to worry about. When word gets out, there are some people in this Baptist town who will think you and Colby are the devil’s disciples.” “Well, there’s already two openly gay police officers here— Clay Landon and Tag Taggart at MPD. And before them Rogan James.” “Yes, I guess those were the town’s trailblazers so that should help grease the skids some. But keep in mind Rogan left town over it. And his partner—Sam Reed’s son—nearly got killed over it. It’ll hopefully be easier for you and Colby but the key word is ‘easier,’ not easy.” “I know that. I guess you’ve also thought about the fact that Moore County will never elect a gay sheriff even if his name is McCoy. I’m sorry.” “Don’t be. And for that matter, I’m still ten or twelve years away from retiring, as long as they keep re-electing me. By that time, for all we know we’ll have a gay president. But in the meantime, don’t you worry about pleasing me. Put yourself and Colby first. And don’t underestimate the voters either. There are

100 William Neale an awful lot of people in this county who think real highly of you and if they can elect a black mayor in a white town, they can certainly elect a gay sheriff.” “You know what, Dad? I feel like the weight of the world has just been lifted off my shoulders. I was so worried about coming out to you. I can’t wait to tell Colby.” “Kyle, you and me have been through the worst of times together and I don’t know what I would have ever done without you being there for me. There were times after Nell died when I seriously didn’t think I could go on. But then you’d give me a hug for no reason or say something that was just the perfect thing I needed to hear at the time. It reminded me that I had one incredible son to raise and gave me the will to go on. Nothing’s ever gonna change how much I love you and I’ll tell you one more thing.” Tears now filled Harlan’s eyes. “Anybody tries to hurt you or Colby, they’ll find out how hard the iron fist of the law can come down.”

111 “Mmmm, I love Ina’s chicken and dumplings. Don’t tell Mama, but this is just as good as hers,” Colby said to his father. “Don’t tell her I come here every Monday for lunch just for that very reason,” Cy said with a smile. “Colby, like I said on the phone, I feel really terrible about how yesterday turned out. As much as you might not want to admit it, you and I are like two peas in a pod when it comes to digging in our heels over something. If we think we’re in the right, then there’s no changing our minds.” “I said pretty much the same thing to Kyle. And he told me it’s not stubbornness, it’s sticking to one’s principles.” “I’ll have to use that line on your mother. Maybe Kyle should be a politician like his daddy. But he’s always had a good head on his shoulders. You know that Harlan McCoy and I were best friends growing up.” “Yeah, I did know that. I think it’s kind of cool that Kyle and I were the same when we were kids and now, again.”

son of A Ditch 101 “Yeah? Hold that thought because I want to come back to it in a minute. The most important thing I wanted to do is to apologize in person. I am truly sorry I sided with Cy Jr. and Caleb. I wasn’t seeing things from your perspective—only from that of Dawson Construction. But as your mother wisely pointed out to me last night—and not so nicely, I might add—there’s a big difference between company priorities and family priorities. And I clearly forgot that. Family does come first. And if you want to make it on your own, I not only respect that, I really admire it.” “Thanks, Dad.” “You know I was a farmer’s son. Everything I’ve built and accomplished was a direct result of my hard work and I had nobody giving me anything except a few chances to prove myself. You’re exactly the same way which makes me both proud and also angry at how stupidly I didn’t see that when it came to my own son. Don’t be offended but I see more of myself in you than I do in any of your brothers.” “Dad, it means more than you know to hear you say that to me.” “I also want you to forget about this business of staying away from the family until you learn a lesson. That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever said.” “Once I calmed down, I knew you didn’t really mean it and I even told Kyle that. But Cy and Caleb meant every word of what they said. I’ll come visit you and Mama but I won’t be going to Sunday family dinners anymore until my brothers apologize and admit they were wrong to call me a traitor to the family.” “Well, here’s a news flash: your mother’s gone on strike. She says she’s not cooking any more Sunday dinners until Cy and Caleb make things right with you. She went even further. She told me to tell them that since they ordered you to stay away from the family, then they can do exactly the same thing until they apologize and mean it.” “Jesus. How’d that go over?” “How do you think? Cy just buried himself deeper into the

102 William Neale hole he’s already dug and of course Caleb jumped right in after him. If I didn’t know better, I’d think they were twins joined at the hip.” “Well here’s where you’re gonna see more of yourself in me, Daddy. I’ve had it with those two. They’ve treated me this way my whole life. So now, I will do exactly as they both asked and stay the hell away from them. And if it takes years before they apologize, then so be it.” “That breaks my heart, Colby. Cy and Caleb aren’t bad people. They just both need to mature some more. Although the older they get, the more worried I am that they never will. But there’s one other important thing that I need to talk with you about. I’m worried as hell about your reaction when I tell you this but I’m afraid if I don’t, it’ll get back to you from some other family member.” “What are you talking about?” “Right after you left yesterday, in front of the whole family, Matt Jr. said he could tell you weren’t feeling well because Mr. McCoy was kissing you to make it better.” “Oh, shit.” “Listen, Colby. If there’s something you want to tell me, I promise I will understand. I know I fly off the handle way too fast about things. But this is serious. If you’re gay, I’ll accept it and love you the same way I already do.” “I am, Dad. I have been as long as I can remember. I just kept it to myself until I left home. Truth be told, that’s one reason I wanted to get out of Moorestown.” “And Kyle is gay too?” “Yes, but for obvious reasons he’s had to hide it even more than me.” “And you love him?” “Yes, I do. We haven’t used that word with each other yet and for whatever it’s worth, we’ve also not consummated anything. But I suspect we will sooner than later and it will happen at the

son of A Ditch 103 same time we do start using the word ‘love.’” “Colby, I’m sure you’ve considered all the possible consequences of this once word gets out.” “What’s the worst case scenario? Being called a fag? And who’s going to be dumb enough to try and beat up on either one of us? Whatever it is, we’re prepared to handle it with our heads held high. I just hope that the people who love us will be glad for us.” “Well your Mama doesn’t like me very much right now. But two things she and I totally agree on: we love you and we think the world of Kyle. Ruth’s been especially partial to him ever since you and he used to play together when you were little. If you two are in love, then we’re totally with you and behind you.” “That means everything to me, Daddy. I know Kyle will feel the same way when I tell him. I doubt the rest of the family will be so welcoming, though.” “No, don’t underestimate Matt and Mary Alice. From their reactions yesterday, I’m guessing they had already figured it out.” “What did they say?”

“Matt told Cy he would personally kick his ass into Greene

County if he ever called you that name again.” “Cy called me a fag?” “Yeah, Kyle too. I’m sorry.” He chuckled. “But I thought we were going to have to restrain Mary Alice. She was five seconds away from decking him and yet somehow managed to cuss him out without using a single cuss word. Listen, I may have to do some ass kicking myself with Cy and Caleb. But they’ll come around. Just give them a chance to get used to the idea. My great hope is that when all our current Dawson dust settles, you and Kyle will be at dinner every Sunday along with everyone else in our family. We will welcome Kyle as our son-in-law and love him as much as we do the other spouses.” “I couldn’t ask for more than that, Dad. Thank you. Oh—one other thing. I’m sorry I broke Mama’s flying pig. I was upset and

104 William Neale it was an accident. I’ll replace it.” “Colby, my only regret is that you didn’t accidently break both of them.”

111 “Kyle, wait up!” a familiar voice called. Kyle turned just before clicking the unlock button on his car key remote. He stood in the parking lot at the County Justice Center, just finishing his shift. “Wes,” he said without enthusiasm. “What are you doing here?” “I just want to talk with you. I was afraid you wouldn’t take my call. Could we possibly walk over to the diner and get a cup of coffee?” “You’re kidding. We’ve never met in public before.” “I don’t care who sees us at this point. Please, I just want to talk to you for a while.” “Sorry, Wes. I told you it’s over. I’m headed home now.” “Please, Kyle. This is important.” “Colby said you would try this and he was right. I told you we’re done. I’m sorry, but you need to accept that.” “That’s the name! Colby Dawson. I knew when I saw him that I should have remembered him from high school.” “When did you see Colby?” “Through your living room balcony door. How many times did I tell you to buy some curtains?” “What? Are you stalking me?” “Relax, Kyle. I saw him the night I called. I was sitting out in your parking lot hoping I could come on up. Listen, I know that Colby is your age and that he’s also great eye candy. So I understand your attraction to him. But you just can’t throw away everything we’ve built together for eight years. Don’t you value that?”

son of A Ditch 105 “You and I were fuck buddies for eight years. That’s all it ever was. You insisted on those terms and you kept it that way no matter how many times and ways I tried to make it more. This is all on you.” “No, you’re wrong. I love you, Kyle. I always have.” “And you tell me that every time I talk about ending things. Well, I’ve ended it. There’s nothing more to say, so I’ll let you go now.” “I’ll leave my wife for you, Kyle. I mean it. That’s what I wanted to tell you. I’ll ask for a divorce and you and I can be together all the time.” Eight years of frustrated emotions and now, long repressed anger rushed to the surface. “What—you tell me this now? You’re a real prize, Watson. All these years you’ve made me feel like some cheap, low-life whore you kept on the side. You wouldn’t let me call you or e-mail you or even say hello if I saw you at the grocery store. You even made me register at the motels because you were too afraid somebody would recognize you. You got some nerve, man. After all the times I tried to make our relationship a real one, you wait until I dump you to finally tell me you’ll leave your wife? You’re fucking unbelievable.” “No, that’s not at all the way it is.” “Hell yes, that’s the way it is. And you know what? Now, I’m really glad you didn’t leave your wife for me because if you had, I would have never had a chance for a life with Colby. I don’t wish you any harm, but I truly don’t give a shit what you do anymore. You blew your chances while you had them, so good luck and goodbye.” “Kyle, please. I really do love you.” “Let it go, Wes. It ain’t ever coming back.” Kyle turned and unlocked the Jeep’s door while Wes made no move to walk away. He stood in the nearly empty parking lot with shoulders slumped, eyes silently pleading with Kyle, defeat apparent in both his body language and facial expression.

106 William Neale Kyle started the engine, trying to remain strong the way Colby had urged, but struggling with the guilt of clearly hurting this man. He rolled down his window. “Wes, please. I don’t want to leave you this way.” “Then don’t.” “You know I have to and I want to. Colby’s waiting for me at home.” “Then go to him.” Wes straightened his shoulders and took a deep breath. “I’m not going to beg.” “I’m sorry, Wes.” “Just go.” Wes turned and walked away.

chAPteR tWeLve “Man, something smells fantastic,” Kyle said, walking through the door of their apartment. “What you cookin’, good lookin’?” “Rooster feet,” Colby shouted from the kitchen. “You mean chicken legs.” “No, we’re eating big ole rooster feet that scratched and clawed their way to our dinner table.” “Surely you’re not serious.” “No, my name’s not Shirley nor is it Cyrus. That’s my dad.” “All right, smartass. You’re going have to pay for that with a really big welcome home kiss.” “You’re gonna have to chase me around the kitchen first,” Colby teased. “All ten feet of it? How about I just head you off at the pass and have my way with you.” “Surely you’re not serious.” “Serious as a rooster’s foot.” “What’s serious is how hot you look with your uniform shirt unbuttoned like that.” “It was a scorcher today and the a/c wasn’t working on my patrol car. Come here.” Kyle grabbed Colby around the waist and pulled him close. “Mmmm. Talk about things that smell fantastic,” Colby said. “Shut up and give me that kiss.” Colby brought his lips to Kyle’s and his tongue sought its mate. Kyle groaned and pressed even closer into Colby’s embrace as their tongues danced and their bodies pressed tightly with pent up need emanating from two sudden erections. “Holy shit,” Kyle panted as they separated. “What was that?”

108 William Neale “That was the really big kiss you ordered from the kitchen, sir.” Not releasing his hold on Colby, Kyle leaned over to peer at the roasting pan on top of the stove. “That’s a whole hen you’ve baked. What a cock tease you are. I wanted rooster feet. So what’s the occasion and can we celebrate it like this every day?” “It’s our anniversary.” “Oh shit. Was this something I was supposed to remember?” “Nah, I just remember stuff like that. I moved in with you exactly two months ago today.” “Ah, so it is our anniversary. That merits another kiss—only this one bigger.” “Coming right up, sir.” Colby pursed his lips and pulled Kyle’s neck toward him, clamping their mouths tightly in a second and even more intense connection. “Wow, happy anniversary! Why’d we wait so long to go at it like that?” Kyle said. “Small steps like we agreed, remember? Dinner’s done and will be fine holding for a while so why don’t you pour us a glass of the pinot grigio I have chilling in the refrigerator and we’ll maybe go smooch a little more on the couch.” “Wine on a Monday? Smooching on the couch? This really is a celebration. Maybe I can get you drunk and finally have my way with you.” “I’d say give it your best shot, Romeo. So beyond having no air conditioning, how was your day?” “It was pretty routine,” Kyle replied as he reached in the refrigerator door and removed the bottle. “That is, until Dad called me in from patrol and shut his office door.” “What was going on?” “The state announced today that they’re building a new state prison across from Lakeway State. I think it’s on the land your dad sold them.”

son of A Ditch 109 “Holy shit—he will have a heart attack when he finds out.” “Well,” Kyle said as he poured two glasses, “I’m now on a joint task force with MPD to do contingency planning for possible protests. Neither Dad nor Chief Grigsby think the locals will take this sitting down.” “If I know my dad he’ll be leading the charge.” “It could get pretty dicey in some of the worst-case scenarios. At least it’s more challenging for me than dealing with blind old men who still think they can drive.” “What?” Colby asked as they sat down together. “It’s not important. The other thing that came out of my meeting with Dad was the million dollar bonus round question he asked me.” “Which was?” “Are you and Colby using the ‘L’ word yet?” “What? How could he have possibly known? I haven’t even seen your dad since I left for the Air Force.” “He knew about me and Wes. The owner of the motel we went to most of the time told Dad that Wes and I were hooking up there. Wes would die if he knew that.” “So you’ve been outed all over the department now?” “No, Dad said the guy is a friend, is discreet, and he told Dad only out of concern for me. Neither one of them thinks too highly of Wes, by the way.” “How is your dad taking the fact you’re gay?” “Like totally okay with it, even downright affirming. He’s known about me for a long time and never said anything because he didn’t want to interfere in my personal life. When I told him that asking you to move in was the best decision I ever made, he said—and I quote—‘They don’t come any finer than Colby.’ Wasn’t that a terrific thing for him to say?” “Better than terrific. Man, I’m so happy it went well. But I’m not really surprised. Your dad is a real good man.”

110 William Neale “He wants us to come to dinner with him and Irene on Friday night. Can you do it?” “Sure I can. Boy, will that be weird, though. Going to dinner there as boyfriends. Well, I have some news too. Actually, it’s pretty amazing because you can’t say that fate isn’t totally on our side now.” “How’s that?” “I had the same conversation with my dad today.” “You’re kidding. That’s downright spooky.” “Remember when I was losing my shit yesterday and I asked you to hold me for a minute in the driveway? Matt’s son saw us and told the whole family that I must have been sick because you were kissing me to make me feel better.” “Ah, geez, Colby. I’m so sorry. That was totally stupid of me. It was just an automatic reaction because I was so worried about you.” “No, don’t be sorry at all. Dad and I had lunch today. First, he apologized big time for kicking me out and it was exactly how I predicted: he didn’t mean it. And he also told me he respects me for wanting to make it on my own, and that it reminded him of himself when he started out.” “Well at least that crisis is over now. Good.” “No—there’s still Cy Jr. and Caleb and—here’s news for you, Mama’s gone on strike and won’t be doing Sunday dinners until they apologize to me.” “Never a dull moment at the Dawsons, huh? So how did he deal with us being outed?” “He said if we’re gay, he and Mama are totally behind us and that they think the world of you. He also asked if I love you.” “So I guess this is where I take the big leap and ask what you told him.” “I told him I do. I do love you, Kyle. Very much.” “Oh wow. Wow. God, you actually said it.”

son of A Ditch 111 “Come on—why are you acting surprised? So what did you tell your Dad when he asked?” “I never answered the question directly. Not because I was avoiding it. I was just so surprised at him already knowing about me.” “But if you had?” “Like you have to ask. I’ve been in love with you since the night you moved in. I know that sounds corny, but it’s true. I love you so much it scares me.” “Why does it scare you?” Colby said softly, his eyes meeting Kyle’s. “I didn’t know that kind of love was possible. Like right now my heart is pounding so hard I’m afraid it’s gonna burst.” Colby touched Kyle’s bare chest right above his heart. “No, what I feel beating is a life force that’s gonna feel this way forever if I have anything to do with it. When I told Dad that I love you it was like I was suddenly free of all the fears and worries that had been holding me back. Isn’t that amazing? Just saying the three words—and meaning them with all my heart—was all it took. And every time I say it, the feeling just gets stronger. I love you, Kyle McCoy.” Kyle leaned closer and kissed Colby yet again. “Are you ready to make it official?” “You bet I am. The rooster feet will have to wait.”

111 “No way! Not in Moorestown and not next door to my property,” Cy shouted at the mayor of Moorestown. “Calvin Simpson, we’ve sat at each other’s dinner tables more times than I can count. I’ve practically paid for your campaigns with all the fundraisers I’ve thrown you. And my entire family has gone out and worked their asses off for you every time you’ve run for mayor. We’ve been good friends forever, but on this I’m calling in all my chits. You cannot allow that prison to be built here.” “Cy, it’s out of my control. You know better than anybody

112 William Neale that it’s on land the state already owns. Hell, you sold it to ’em.” it.”

“Then file a goddamned law suit. Get a court order to stop

“Cy, it’s unclear whether state law trumps local home rule law on matters like this that involve zoning conflicts. That land is zoned for office use—meaning college buildings—and not for high density residential, so technically we can deny them a building permit. But I can tell you right now the state will contend local zoning doesn’t apply to their higher authority.” “The state went on record in saying that land was for future expansion of the university.” “And, if I recall correctly, you were paid four point eight million dollars for the entire acreage on both sides of the highway. The state will contend they can use their land any way they want.” “You knew that’s what they were planning, didn’t you Cal?” “No, I knew they were looking for a prison location somewhere in East Tennessee but I was just as shocked about them choosing the college site as you were.” “Calvin, we have to stop this thing. We’ve worked hard to make Moorestown the kind of city where people want to live, not to escape. A prison’s only gonna make people want to leave. And we can kiss our property values goodbye.” “You’re preaching to the choir, Cy. I’m going to arrange an emergency joint session of City Council and the County Commissioners and we’re going to discuss options. But you know that Memphis bastard in the governor’s mansion. He hates East Tennessee. Calls us all racist Republican hillbillies—even called me that and look at the color of my skin. He’s got enough votes in the legislature to screw us any way he wants and that’s what he’s doing.” “Then how did we get him to give us the college?” “That was the deal Charlie McFall struck using the federal education funds they got. Two new colleges—one for East Tennessee and one for West Tennessee. They had to put the one

son of A Ditch 113 for East somewhere and Moorestown and the Lakeway Region was the largest area of population without a state college. That’s even why they named it Lakeway State.” “Sounds like tit for tat to me. We get the college, then we gotta take the prison. Did you make a deal with him?” “You think I’d make a deal with that lying son of a bitch?” “I know. Sorry, Cal. It just sounds mighty convenient. Maybe it was Charlie’s doing then.” “He’s been our state senator for twenty years. You know Charlie wouldn’t fuck over his own town like that. No, Cy, this is all on the governor. He doesn’t like me and I’m not so sure that this isn’t personal for him. You know I’ve been putting out feelers about running for governor and he probably got wind of that.” “Well, I’m not gonna lay back and just let him put murderers, rapists, and child molesters literally in my back yard. I’m gonna start making some calls. I’ve got a lot of friends in this county. We’ll organize a stop-the-prison movement and just see who comes out fucking who.” “Cy, let’s do this the right way and work through the court system and the legislature. That’s the only way we might get the votes to eventually stop this thing. Let Charlie make some of his own tit for tat deals with other senators. You know—you vote for my issue, I’ll vote for yours. He’s the minority whip and a master at getting legislators to change their votes. Don’t go and do something rash and stupid.” “I may be rash sometimes but I’m not stupid.” “No, you’re anything but stupid. But you’re angry and upset and I don’t blame you. I’m just trying to calm you down some before you go off half-cocked.” “Tell you what, my friend. Let ’em build the damn thing next door to your house and we’ll see who goes off half-cocked. I ain’t going down without a fight and that thug in the governor’s mansion is sure as hell gonna get one. If I have to spend every penny of that four point eight million dollars, I’ll do it.”

114 William Neale

111 “No, turn the light back on. I want to see you.” “Okay, I’m maybe just a little nervous,” Kyle replied. He reversed the lamp switch, shucked his briefs, and joined an already naked Colby on the king bed in Kyle’s room. “Why are you nervous? It’s just me.” “Why do you think? We’ve never been naked together.” “You forget locker rooms and going skinny dipping in Cherokee Lake?” “Yeah, but we were teenagers buzzed on beer at the lake. This is really important. I want our first time to be…and I’ve only just been with—you know…I just don’t want to disappoint you.” Colby lifted his arm and beckoned Kyle to move closer. “Let me hold you for a while. We’re in no hurry here.” Kyle allowed Colby to snuggle him in his arms. He inhaled Colby’s scent and emitted an involuntary sigh. “See, you’re already relaxing. I can feel it,” Colby said. He kissed Kyle’s forehead. “Kyle, the beauty of you and me is how natural and comfortable we are together. We just fit, you know? It was that way from the first day we lived together. It was even that way when we were growing up. Do you remember a single serious fight or argument we’ve ever had? I feel like when I’m with you, I’m home. So let’s just trust that connection to guide us.” “Yeah, home is a good way of putting it. That’s totally us and it’s exactly how I feel about you. But I think that’s also why I’ve got a little case of the jitters. This is really important, you know?” “There’s no need to be nervous, baby. When you and I make love, it’s just going to work without us having to think about it. For me, it’s a guaranteed fireworks show no matter what we do or don’t do this first time. So don’t you worry about disappointing. It’s not possible. Okay?” Kyle lightly tasted Colby’s nipple and looked up. “Way more than okay. You’re making it wonderful for me just like this. No

son of A Ditch 115 pressure, no hurry, no demands. And you smell so damn good too—I think it’s maybe a combination of motor oil, sweat, and whatever soap you showered with this morning. Whatever it is, it’s turning me on. See?” “Hmmm. I do see—and then some,” Colby said in a low, sexy voice suggesting his own growing erection. “If my scent’s doing that to you, maybe we should bottle it. We could call it eau d’ Quaker State.” Kyle laughed. “You are a regular comedian tonight, you know that?” “That’s just me being in the best mood I can ever remember.” “And maybe I had something to do with that?” “But of course,” Colby said in a bad French accent. Kyle giggled and captured Colby’s nipple again, this time lingering long enough to coax a small moan from Colby’s throat before he released it. “This is really nice. When Wes and I got together, there was usually no time for a lot of preliminaries. It was almost always quick and hurried because he’d have to get back. So this is kind of a first for me and I like it a lot.” “Then let’s just pretend it is your first time, okay? You deserve to know how that feels with someone who loves you as much as I do. Do you trust me?” “Oh, yeah.” “Then just let go and let me have you. This is going to be all about celebrating our very first I-Love-You’s, baby.” Colby shifted so that Kyle slid off him and onto his back. His voice turned low and hypnotic. “Close your eyes, empty your mind, and focus only on one thing—that the man who is touching you is absolutely head over heels in love with you.” Colby extended Kyle’s left arm outward towards the edge of the bed, then reached and moved the other to the opposite position. “Just leave your arms all the way out where I placed them. Let me do all the work from this point on.” He paused for a moment just to gaze. “Kyle, you have no idea how much seeing

116 William Neale you like this turns me on. You are perfect, my beautiful man. Just perfect in every way.” “Cole, I’ll do anything you want.” “Shhhh. Close your eyes.” Colby placed his index and middle fingers on Kyle’s lips only to have them open and capture both digits in his mouth. Colby couldn’t suppress another moan at the sensuous tactility of warm, wet, slippery suction on his fingers. Kyle suckled to his unhurried content before releasing them. “Tastes like chicken” he smiled. “I need a taste of you,” Colby growled more than spoke. He positioned himself above Kyle and used his strong hands to restrain Kyle’s outstretched arms. He pressed his lips to Kyle’s, demanding entrance, seeking depth and dominance for his tongue, and receiving muffled whimpers of acceptance in response. It was finally the defining moment that would change their lives forever. Colby knew he could kiss Kyle like this indefinitely—even to the point of nearing his own orgasm without any stimulation. But this was only the start and it was not enough. Not nearly enough. Colby wanted possession of every inch of Kyle’s body. He moved to Kyle’s neck and suckled skin between his lips, allowing his teeth to gently nibble. Repeated shudders coursed through Kyle’s body, resisting Colby’s continued restraint of his lover’s arms. More. He needed to taste more. His tongue demanded constant feeding and drinking of Kyle’s taste. He swiped across Kyle’s chest, reveling in the essence of salt, sweat, and the musk of a hot summer day. It was sweet and delicious and uniquely Kyle. The rush made his cock pulsate with anticipation. He found Kyle’s nipple. Small, pert, erect, almost hidden by a healthy patch of brown-blond thatch growing from firm mounds of muscled pectorals. He lapped circles around the orb, stopping only to occasionally bite and stretch outward with his teeth. “Ummm, Cole—so good.” “Shhhh, baby. No words, just give in to it.”

son of A Ditch 117 The other nipple. Same treatment, different reaction. A guttural moan from some other place. Good, my baby. Very good. Lower. He was forced to release Kyle’s arms but it didn’t matter now. Colby traced the thick treasure trail down over taunt, ridged abs that quivered in response to his tongue’s ministrations. Colby stopped when he reached the prize within Kyle’s navel where he drank from a collected pool of thin, clear seminal fluid drooling in strings from an erection that repeatedly bounced against Colby’s jaw and cheek. He could not postpone its insistent demand for attention any longer. Colby snaked his tongue across the bulbous circumcised head and captured another droplet of its excited leakage. The contact caused an immediate involuntary jerk as Colby engulfed the entire head and clamped his lips into a tight seal of suction. Slow motion movement, subtle flicks of tongue. Patient, undulating laps and swaths. Colby took his time. This was much too enjoyable to allow a quick ejaculation, despite persistent, insistent throbs and Kyle’s jerking hip thrusts. Colby revered it more than he sucked it. He took repeated deep breaths of Kyle’s scent, allowing the pheromones to charge through his senses as a powerful stimulant that connected brain synapses with his own highly charged arousal. Deeper. Slowly and inexorably deeper until he could swallow around the crown and use his throat as an instrument for Kyle’s pleasure. Up, down, swallow, squeeze. Tighten the suction. Slide salivasoaked lips in rhythmic rotation. Swallow and hold while my tonsils massage him and force his body to tremble and his voice to mutter words I can’t understand. Colby had lost any sense of time. He had transported himself into a different place where time didn’t matter. He could lavish his love for Kyle’s perfect cock this way forever. He consumed its entirety, vaguely aware of a building tension in swollen balls as his fingers gently squeezed, pulled, and tickled the large, dangling sac. Kyle’s moans grew louder. His hips squirmed and thrust

118 William Neale upwards. Colby allowed him free license now, to fuck his mouth and throat as hard as his instincts demanded. Hands left their assigned place and clamped tightly around Colby’s head, using it as a receptacle for his pillage. It was now a brutal, driving, coupling of need and urgency that would have battered and bruised a less relaxed or willing vessel. Was that a shout or more of a scream? Colby’s ears were smothered by a vise grip of large and muscular hands as the first wave of Kyle’s semen erupted into Colby’s mouth. Rapid, staccato grunts and pelvic thrusts followed, synched with exploding jolts of thick cream that challenged but did not defeat his ability to contain and swallow it. He drank, he savored, he luxuriated in its texture and virility. He consumed the life force of a powerful breeding male whom he loved with all certainty. It produced a scalding, dizzying rush in his body that made him first think he might pass out but instead—for the first time in his life—he experienced an orgasm contained entirely within his brain. Silence. Exhaustion. Sweat streaming from every pore on their collective skins. Colby squeezed a remaining pearl of Kyle’s cum and reveled in its sweetness on his tongue before swallowing. He opened his eyes and felt transported back from a long journey as he reluctantly released possession of Kyle’s slightly softened cock. Colby kissed it one more time and lifted up. Kyle’s eyes met his and they glowed with the enlightened zeal of a religious convert. “My God—I can’t believe—Cole,” Kyle stammered more than spoke. “Shhh,” Colby gently admonished again while returning Kyle’s smile. He lifted himself up and lay on top of Kyle, mingling their sweat together as his lips sought Kyle’s and his erection rutted on top of Kyle’s freshly drained one. He kissed Kyle with a stillbuilding fervor, indulging himself in a pool of passion that far exceeded any he had ever experienced. “You—now—you,” Kyle attempted to say between kisses.

son of A Ditch 119 “No, baby. Us.” Colby lifted up just enough to plant his eyes into Kyle’s and to send him a mental question that needed neither translation nor vocal expression. “Please,” Kyle answered, grinding his hips upward into Colby’s cock. “I want you inside me.” “Do you have a condom?” “You don’t need it. We’re both safe.” “Yes, we do need it until I know for sure I’m safe.” “But you said you’ve tested clean twice since your—uh—last time.” “I told you. We have to wait until six months after my last time with him. I’ll get tested again then and that way we can be sure.” “You said you never bottomed for him. I’m willing to take the risk.” “I’m not risking anything when it comes to your health. So where’s your condoms?” Kyle sighed in disappointment. “The nightstand drawer on your right.” “Baby, please don’t be that way. This is your life we’re talking about.” “I know. I haven’t bottomed all that much either and I just wanted to make it especially good for you.” “Kyle, this couldn’t get any better for me than it already is. We only have maybe three and a half more months to go. It’ll be worth the wait, okay?” “Okay. I know you’re right.” “Now let’s you back in the mood again, huh? Once again, just let me do the work.” Colby again kissed Kyle deeply before sliding off him and scooting to the end of the bed. He reached for Kyle’s thighs and pulled him toward him until his hips reached Colby’s knees.

120 William Neale “Hold your legs up for me, babe,” he ordered gently as he lowered his line of sight and gazed in astonishment at the most perfect ass he had ever seen. Thick swirls of light brown hair surrounded Kyle’s hole and thinned outward onto firmly muscled and lightly dusted cheeks. “Oh my God, you’re so beautiful,” he said softly. He lowered his face closer and extended his tongue for an initial taste. “No, Cole. Let me go shower first.” “Don’t worry—you’re clean and perfect for what I want to do. We’ll save the gonzo stuff for another time. Now close your eyes and go to your place again. I’m going to take my time.” Colby tasted and breathed only the sweet salty musk of Kyle’s sweat. It was powerfully erotic and charged with stimulants that vaulted both his erection and his mind to a renewed state of bliss. He heard Kyle moan and reached up to grip and jack his own hardness. Colby took tiny folds of Kyle’s skin in his teeth and lightly nipped and tugged them, causing Kyle to shudder and moan in unexpected pleasure. From his surprised reactions, Colby doubted that Wes ever had taken the time or had the inclination or selflessness to do this for Kyle. And he knew from his own experience, it was truly one of the most pleasurable things a man can give another man. What’s more, Colby enjoyed giving as much as receiving. He lightly sandpapered his now dense five o’clock stubble across the especially tender passage between his balls and his hole, making Kyle gasp loudly in obvious surprise. Colby did it again and elicited the same response. If his ass is already this responsive, just wait until I show him the difference between fucking and making love. Colby took the bottle of lubricant he found next to the condoms and squirted a dollop over Kyle’s hole. He carefully inserted first one finger, then a few minutes later, two, and then eventually, three, while lavishing persistent kisses and gentle bites on the surrounding areas. After only a few minutes of

son of A Ditch 121 preparation, Kyle squirmed impatiently on Colby’s fingers and tried to push his ass further on them. He was ready. Colby used his teeth to tear open the condom wrapper and spit it onto the floor. He hadn’t used a condom for a long time and remembered why he so disliked them. But Kyle’s safety was not negotiable. He lubed himself, gripped Kyle’s ankles and lifted them to rest on his shoulders. “Look at me, Kyle,” Colby said softly. “I want to see your eyes the first time I enter you.” Kyle met his stare and Colby could see a combination of excitement and perhaps a little fear. “Take a deep breath, baby. I’ll go real slow and easy.” He pressed the head of his cock at the now loosened hole and pushed forward just enough to insert the tip of his crown. Kyle’s body stiffened in anticipation of pain but then relaxed immediately when Colby’s cock entered with relative ease. Kyle actually looked surprised, then he gave Colby a wink that it was okay to proceed. Colby guessed that sex with Wes had always been so hurried—or unskilled—that when Wes did fuck him, he was neither slow nor gentle. “How you doing, baby?” Colby said in hardly more than a whisper. “Good. It feels really good.” “That’s what I want to hear and it’s only going to get better. Now just lay your head back and give in to wherever your feelings take you. I’m almost all the way in and we’re gonna take our time and make this last.” Colby began with slow, careful forays, gradually increasing the depth of each gentle thrust until his pubic hair made contact with Kyle’s hole. He reveled in Kyle’s squeezing vacuum of heat as he slowly upped the speed of his insertions and withdrawals. “Oh yeah,” Kyle moaned. “Yeah, just like that.” “You got it. God, you’re so beautiful this way.” “I love you, Cole.”

122 William Neale “I love you too, baby. Now just go back to your good place.” Colby no longer worried about hurting Kyle. He gradually increased both velocity and intensity, allowing himself full freedom of motion for the first time. He let out his own first moan, dropping whatever reserve he had forced on himself to this point. He felt sweat streaming down his skin as his body gradated into a steady rhythm. And just as he did during the earlier blow job, he sought his own good place where time didn’t matter. At some point he popped back to the moment when he heard Kyle’s shout and felt his lover’s attempts to buck Colby’s cock to even deeper depths. Their combined noises filled the room and Colby’s hips pummeled even faster to please his man’s need. Kyle begged him to fuck even harder as he began furiously jacking his cock, clearly nearing his second orgasm of the evening. Colby pushed Kyle’s hand away and took over the task. “Yeah, baby, come for me!” Colby shouted. “Do it, Kyle!” He slammed into Kyle as hard as he could at this point, feeling himself nearing the edge as well. Kyle managed something between a yell and a scream as his cock erupted in wide arcs that landed first on his face then his chest and abs. His cock throbbed and pulsated in Colby’s hand while his ass clamped a strong vise around Colby’s dick. As soon as Kyle’s spurts ended, Colby hurriedly pulled out and yanked off the condom in one single movement so the first blast of his load splashed across Kyle’s body. Colby shook and shuddered at the intensity. He gasped for breath between loud grunts that matched the thrusts of his hips and continued to shoot spurts of his cum onto Kyle’s sweat soaked and now semen saturated body. He managed to lower Kyle’s legs down before collapsing on top of him. Had he momentarily fainted from the heat and exhaustion or had he just succumbed to the overwhelming sensory overload? It didn’t matter. Kyle’s arms surrounded him. Kisses poured over his face. Their chests and stomachs audibly squished with combined liquids. Colby struggled to regain both

son of A Ditch 123 his breath and composure while Kyle held him tightly. They said nothing while lying in their satiation, the seminal glue between them soaking not just skin but penetrating far deeper within to bind hearts, minds, and souls. As he finally managed to descend back to the present, Colby realized with euphoric awe that he too had not understood the difference between fucking and making love.

chAPteR thiRteen The joint task force now had an official name: Operation Proaction, suggested by Kyle and agreed upon by the representatives from the Moorestown Police Department. Joining them was a lieutenant from the Tennessee State Highway Patrol and a woman from the mayor’s office who bluntly said she knew nothing about law enforcement but was just told to take notes for the mayor. The group had already met twice and was scheduled for a third meeting that afternoon. “Sorry, I’m late,” Kyle said entering the conference room at MPD’s downtown headquarters. “You’re on time. Everybody else is late,” said Tag. He and Clay sat in their usual seats at the far end of the table and Kyle took his directly across from them. “So how’s your love life?” Clay grinned at Kyle. Kyle blushed but smiled back. “Pardon my Greek but it’s pretty fucking amazing.” “Ah, to be young and in love,” Tag said. “You’re the same age as me, asshole. But I have to tell you, I feel like I’m floating instead of walking. I never dreamed I could be this happy.” “Buddy, that is the best news we’ve heard in a long time and God knows you deserve to finally feel that way. I would come across that table and give you a great big hug and kiss if we weren’t expecting company any minute,” Clay said. “Thanks, guys. We finally—you know—consummated things on our two month anniversary last week and every day just keeps getting better. I can’t wait to get home every night.” He checked the door, turned back to them, and whispered. “He’s even better in bed than he is in the kitchen.” Clay and Tag laughed. “Damn, the boy has it bad!” Tag chortled.

126 William Neale “Who has it bad?” a voice interrupted. Larry Grigsby, Chief of Police, entered the room. “We got problems with protesters?” “No, we were just talking about a friend. As far as I know we don’t have any protesters yet.” “Good to see you, Kyle. How you doing?” Larry said, extending his hand. “Doing great, Larry. Dad says to say hello.” “Yeah, he and I need to go fishing. It’s been too long since we got out on the lake together. Tell Harlan I’ll call him and maybe Clay and Tag will let us borrow Rogan’s bass boat. That okay, guys?” “You know what Rogan told you. It belongs to you anytime you want it.” “Afternoon, gentlemen. Sorry I’m running late.” Tim Hutchinson walked in still wearing his trademark “Smokey the Bear” trooper hat. “Don’t you know that it’s bad manners to wear a hat indoors, Tim?” Larry chided. “Oh yeah, sorry,” Tim said, quickly removing it. “Tim, I was just razzing you. You got to find yourself a sense of humor, man.” “Yeah, that’s what the boss is always telling me. I’m just a little distracted right now. I’ve got some news to tell you guys.” “Mrs. Hale isn’t here yet,” Clay said. “She’s not coming,” Larry said. “One of her kids is sick so the mayor asked that I just call and fill him in later.” “So what’s the news, Tim?” “Preliminary site work at the prison is going to start next Monday, weather permitting. They’re going to be bringing in a lot of earth moving equipment to start clearing the footprint for the first buildings. I guess they’re gonna have to haul away a big chunk of the hill which means there’ll also be a steady caravan of dump trucks going back and forth to the fill site.”

son of A Ditch 127 “So they’re not even going to bother to try and pull a permit from the city,” Larry said. “How do you know that?” asked Clay. “The mayor gave the building commission standing orders not to issue them one.” “So when they start work illegally without one, what’s his recourse?” “He’s going to sue the state and fight this whole thing out in the courts.” “Should I be hearing this?” Tim, the state’s representative asked. “You’re not hearing anything the state isn’t already expecting, Tim. Besides, we know you’re a good guy.” “Thanks, Larry. Have you guys heard any other scuttlebutt?” Tim asked. “Not a lot,” Larry answered. “Cy Dawson says he’s organizing a protest effort and he’s got the money to put some muscle behind it. But beyond knowing that he’s had a lot of cars and pickup trucks going in and out of his house lately, there’s not much else. Kyle, you’re rooming with Cy’s son, aren’t you? Has he said anything?” “No. We—I mean he—hasn’t been going over there much lately. I’ll ask him if he’s heard anything but I’m sure if something was up and he knew about it, he would tell me.” “Fair enough. I got an opinion from the city’s legal counsel that says we cannot prevent a peaceful assembly on state land since legally, it’s public land. At best, we might be able to limit the number of protesters and require them to remain on the public right-of-way but even that’s questionable. I mean how do you enforce that if a thousand people show up?” “Does the city require a permit for an organized rally?” Tim asked. “On city-owned land but to my knowledge no such law exists for private property if Cy is planning on using his frontage

128 William Neale acreage next door for that purpose.” “Well speaking of that, I drove by there this morning and saw something that might confirm that,” Clay said. “Right next door to the prison site, on Mr. Dawson’s property, there were road graders leveling off a flat piece of land maybe a hundred yards wide by about fifty yards deep. “I wonder if Dawson is building a football field for the prisoners?” Larry said dryly, getting a chuckle out of the group. “Well if he’s organizing a protest effort,” Kyle said, “wouldn’t it make sense that they’d need a staging area? You know, a place to park cars, put in port-o-johns, coffee and food stations, that kind of stuff.” “Yeah, that makes sense,” Larry said, “and he’s doing it on his own land. We’ll have to check to see if that would violate any zoning ordinances but since the college was announced, all the surrounding frontage property was re-zoned from agricultural to commercial. All he’d have to do is call what he’s doing a business and he can do pretty much anything he wants.” “How could a protest site be classified as commercial?” “There are ways of getting around it,” Larry explained. “Let’s say he sets up a food tent and charges people for what it provides. As long as he gets a commercial license to operate and the health department signs off on it, he can call everything else he does a traffic-driving promotion to get business for the food tent.” “From what I know of Cy Dawson, he’s smart enough to do just that,” Clay said. “The only way we’ll know for sure is to just ask him. I don’t know Dawson real well but Harlan’s pretty tight with him, isn’t he, Kyle?” “Yes. They’re good friends. I could ask Dad to call Cy tonight.” “Or just ask Colby to do it since you live with him.” “No, I think we should keep things official. I don’t want to put Colby on the spot.” “Okay, that’s fine then. Call me later tonight to report.”

son of A Ditch 129 “Sure, Chief Grigsby.”

“How many times do I have to tell you my name is Larry?”

“That sounded an awful lot like an order, Chief.”

Larry chuckled in response. “Yeah, I guess it did. Sorry, Kyle.

So—Deputy Sheriff McCoy, I would consider it a professional courtesy if you’d keep me in the loop on that.” Kyle grinned along with everybody else in the room. “It would be my privilege, Larry.” As the meeting ended and its participants went their separate ways, Clay and Tag walked with Kyle out to the parking lot at MPD headquarters. “What are you and Colby doing tomorrow night?” Clay asked. “As far as I know, it’s Saturday night at home. We’ll find something to do.” Kyle responded with a sheepish grin. “I’m sure you will,” Clay answered with a knowing grin. “Why don’t you guys walk up the hill and join us for a cookout? It’s supposed to be a gorgeous weekend so we’ll grill some steaks or ribs outside on the back terrace, have a few beers, and maybe fire up the hot tub afterwards.” “Sounds great. I’ll check with Colby just to make sure and I’ll give you a call tonight.” “Okay, just let one of us know. It’ll be good to catch up with you guys. Besides, you two gotta occasionally come up for air after spending all your off time making the bedsprings squeak.” “Cut it out, Clay,” Kyle grinned, blushing. Clay laughed. “Been there, done that—haven’t we, Tag?”

111 “Hey, do you know what your dad’s up to with this prison protest thing?” Kyle said, coming through the door and tossing his already unbuttoned uniform shirt on the sofa back. “Hey, how about ‘Hi, honey, I’m home. Where’s my kiss and

130 William Neale my martini?’” “Hi, honey, I’m home. I’m sweating like a hog so get me a fucking beer and maybe I’ll kiss ya.” “Kiss first, beer second.” Colby grabbed Kyle by the back of the shoulders and pulled him close into a long, deep one. “Whoa, you are sweating like a hog. But you know how much I like that.” “No more than I like yours. Man, how I love coming home now.” “Why so late today?” He handed Kyle a cold beer from the refrigerator. “Oh, the taskforce met late in the day because Chief Grigsby had some prior kick-off thing for the safe house they’re opening for battered women. By the way, Clay and Tag want us to walk up the hill for a cookout tomorrow night. You okay with that?” “Sure. You know I like doing things with those guys. So tell me again what your question was when you came in?” “What’s your dad up to with the lot clearing next door to the prison site?” “Well I know he was talking about organizing some sort of protest but I didn’t know he had actually done anything about it.” “Well he had some big equipment out there this morning, flattening out a piece of ground about the size of a football field. And I drove a little out of my way back by there on the way home and now it’s completely graveled. Looks like a great big parking lot.” “I don’t have a clue what he’s doing. I haven’t talked to Daddy at all this week and Mama’s still hardly talking to him so I’m a little out of touch. You want me to call and find out what he’s up to?” “I don’t want to put you on the spot or make you uncomfortable about it.” “Hell, I don’t mind. He says I don’t call him often enough anyway.”

son of A Ditch 131 “Okay, would you please? I was gonna call my dad and ask him to do it since they’re friends. But I know he’d tell you.” “All right, I’ll get the scoop. In the meantime, look at these big fat steaks I’m gonna grill for us tonight.” “Where’d you get the grill?” “They have three of them down by the pool for residents to use. They’re gas so we don’t need charcoal. You didn’t know that?” “I haven’t been to the pool yet. Before you moved in it wasn’t open for the season yet.” “It’s still so hot outside, how about we go splash around some while the steaks are grilling and maybe you’ll let me have a special creamy dessert after dinner.” Colby reached and groped Kyle’s crotch and winked, causing an immediate reaction in Kyle’s pants. “How about you feeding me a big fat appetizer right now?” “Is my baby hungry?” Colby grinned knowingly. “Your baby’s always hungry for you, especially when you also smell so good after work.” “I’m telling you—eau d’ Quaker State,” Colby grinned and kissed Kyle again. He lifted his work shirt over his head and reached to unbuckle his belt.” Kyle stopped him and dropped to his knees. “I’ll take it from here.”

111 “Hey, Daddy, how you doing?” “Is this my wayward youngest son? What was your name? I forgot.” “Okay, sorry I haven’t been around more. I’m working long hours ’cause the school bus fleet is in a lot more trouble than Mr. Murrell told me and we’ve only got a few weeks before school starts up. And I’ve wanted to spend my free time with Kyle.” “That’s okay, Colby. You should be with Kyle right now. I remember what it was like when Ruth and I just started out.

132 William Neale There wasn’t anybody in the world but us. So to what do I owe this rare pleasure?” “Kyle was driving by the house today and saw where there’s now a big graveled parking lot right next to where the prison’s going in. Isn’t that our property?” “Yeah, I had that done. We need a staging area for the protest effort.” “So you’re really doing it?” “You bet your ass I am. There’s something terribly wrong with a state that’s allowed to force something like this against the overwhelming wishes of a community. I hired a public opinion survey; ninety-two percent of the County is opposed and the other eight is either oblivious or comatose. We’re gonna make a stand here. I’ve even hired a big PR firm out of Nashville to represent us and handle event management. We’re gonna get the whole state, even the whole South up in arms over this. Because if a governor can do this to Moorestown, he can also screw any other town in the state.” “So what all are you staging on the protest lot?” “We need a place for protestors and the news media to park. We need to put up tents, portable toilets, and we even have Ina and Aden setting up a trailer to serve food. In fact we’re using their business license and health permit since the land is zoned commercial and that gives us the legal right to set up shop. What the damn authorities don’t know is that every meal we serve will only cost a quarter. I’m paying Ina and Aden for the rest.” “Damn, Dad. You’re serious about this.” “This will be a very well organized twenty-four/seven operation and that’s not even the start. But the rest is a big secret right now that I can’t tell even you. It’s not that I don’t trust you, we just swore that only three people plus the PR people would ever know.” “You, Cy, and Caleb?” “I can’t say, Colby. I can’t tell you who because I don’t want

son of A Ditch 133 any chance of you getting in trouble for having prior knowledge, okay? I gotta protect my own in case the state decides to play hardball.” “You’re not about to do something illegal are you?” “You’re not to worry. When it’s all said and done I’ll be just fine.” “Dad, please don’t do anything that’s gonna get you arrested. If nothing else, think of the company. If you have a criminal record you won’t be able to get bonded for contracts.” “I know that and I’m impressed that you do too. I’ve taken measures to make sure that won’t be a problem should it come to that.” “Dad, you’ve got me worried now. Please don’t do anything drastic. Kyle said they’re starting work there Monday. You’ve still got time to change your plans.” “They’re starting Monday? Good to know. Listen, son, I need to let you go now. I still need to make some calls tonight. Once all this gets rolling, I’m counting on you to be here with the family to help.” “Help with what?” “You’ll find out soon enough. So good night, Colby. Give Kyle a big hug for us.” Colby turned to Kyle, who had been sitting on the sofa with Colby during the entire conversation. “Could you hear what he said? I had the speaker volume turned up as high as it would go.” “Yeah, I heard enough. Colby, you know I have to take this to the task force. In fact Larry Grigsby wants me to call him yet tonight.” “Does that make me a traitor to my own father?” “Did he tell you a single word in confidence? No, everything will come out anyhow and, from what he said, probably sooner than later. But I am sorry I put you in the middle of this. I just thought he would confirm what we already thought. The other stuff I’m gonna have to report. It’s my duty.”

134 William Neale “I know. Do what you gotta do. I’m just worried he’s gonna do something dumb.” “I’d say dumb like a fox. Your dad is a very smart man. This will be a real interesting battle and he’s obviously pumping some major dollars into it. That PR firm is gonna have TV stations and newspapers crawling all over this place.” “Do you really think it’ll be that big?” “The task force thinks it’s going to be way bigger than anybody expects. So what we’re gonna have is a three-ring circus. The ironic thing is that neither the sheriff ’s department nor MPD wants anything to do with this prison. Not only for the same reasons as everyone else but for the fact that prisoners get visitors. Our crime rate will skyrocket and things here will never be the same. But—and it’s an important but—we also have to uphold the law or else there is no law here.”

111 “Hello, Randy, I just found out they’re starting work on Monday. We have to move up the plan.” “Okay, Mr. Dawson, I’m on it. Is the equipment still where you said?” “Yes. You’ll find the keys to the flatbed hidden in the front left tire well and the ones to the bulldozer under the driver’s seat. Everything’s all gassed up, loaded, and ready to go.” “All right. Do you want me to do it tomorrow night or Sunday night?” “Saturday night. I’ll need tonight and tomorrow to mobilize everything. But I can’t do the kick-off on Sunday unless you do your thing the night before.” “Okay, got it. Are you sure only you and Caleb know I’m doing this?” “Listen, I’m gonna make sure you’re kept safe in all this, okay? But unless you or Caleb talks, nobody will be able to track any of this. And Caleb doesn’t want anybody to find out any more than you.”

son of A Ditch 135 “It’s for a good cause and the right reasons, Mr. Dawson. As far as I’m concerned you’re a hero.” “Thanks, but you’re the hero of the hour, my friend. You pull this off and I’ll take good care of you when the dust clears, okay? Caleb will drop it off at your house one night next week. You have my word.” “That’s not the only reason I’m doing this. But this will allow us to at least catch up on our mortgage payments. Thanks, Mr. Dawson.” “You’re a good man, Randy. I’m glad to have you on my team.”

chAPteR fouRteen “Look at those two,” Kyle said to Tag. “They’re acting like twelve year-olds.” Colby and Clay laughed so hard as they chased each other around the back yard that any attempt to stop the other only resulted in more flailing heaps of giggles. What started out as a casual tossing back and forth of the football had devolved into a heated game of take-away complete with dirty tackles, dirty tricks, and occasional mouthfuls of dirt and Bermuda grass. “Yeah, but it’s cute seeing them like that,” Tag replied as he stood by the grill, occasionally basting the barbecued pork ribs he was slow roasting. “Clay hardly ever just lets his hair down and acts like a goofball anymore. This will put him in a great mood for the rest of the weekend.” “Colby needs this too. He’s had to deal with so much drama from his job and his family. I know it bothers him way more than he either lets on or wants me to know.” “We’re two lucky guys to have them, aren’t we?” “You’re damn right we are,” answered Kyle. “I’m so crazy in love it’s amazing.” “You know how happy that makes Clay and me. He and I have wanted this for you forever. And now that I know Colby and what his ex did, I feel the same way about him.” “Yeah, I’m kind of still pinching myself over it. And looking at them now, just think how close we both came to not having either one of them.” “What do you mean by that?” “Well if their little high school fling hadn’t scared them both to death, they may have ended up with each other.” “Really? Why’s that?” Tag said haltingly. “Well they obviously were attracted to each other. It just took

138 William Neale them both getting sloshed that night on Clay’s Dad’s liquor to make it all come out.” “Yeah, I’d forgotten about that,” Tag lied. “I’m actually kind of jealous in a retro way,” Kyle continued. “They were my two best friends at the time. I had no idea they were as closeted as me back then. And the shameful irony is,” he chuckled, “that I would have gladly joined them if I had known at the time. ‘Course at the time, I would have needed to be as drunk as they were to actually fool around with another guy.” “Yeah, I can see your point,” Tag said. “Hey Kyle, would you keep an eye on these ribs? I need to go inside and check on the baked beans.” “You okay? You’re looking a little shaky all the sudden.” “Just a headache. Nothing a couple of aspirin won’t cure.”

111 “What’s wrong, Taggy? You not feeling well?” “I’m fine.” “You hardly said a word at dinner or afterwards. And I thought we were going to do the hot tub with Kyle and Colby.” “I wasn’t in the mood.” “Yeah, but I think they were kind of offended. They had brought their swimsuits and the way you said it was time to call it a night was a little abrupt. You practically pushed them out the door before they even finished dessert. That’s not like you. What’s wrong, babe?” “Don’t call me babe.” “Tag, I’m not a mind reader. Something is obviously bothering you. Did I say something that pissed you off ? ‘Cause if I did, I sure didn’t mean to.” “Maybe you and Colby should have just gone somewhere and gotten a room.” “What? You’re bothered that he and I horsed around before dinner? That was just playing around and being goofy, hon. He

son of A Ditch 139 and I used to do that all the time when we were in high school.” “Was that before or after you and he had sex?” “What are you talking about?” “You know what I’m talking about. It was back when you two were still in school. Kyle didn’t know he let the cat out of the bag so don’t blame him. But he told me that you and Colby used to have a thing for each other. You lied to me, Clay. You promised me that there was never anything between you two.” “I have never lied to you and I never will.” “Then why would Colby have thought it important enough to tell Kyle? “I have no idea, Tag. This is all coming out of left field. Did Kyle tell you specifically what Colby said to him?” “No, I didn’t want to seem like I didn’t already know and I didn’t want to make Kyle feel like he’d just opened a big can of worms. He just said that you and Colby had sex and that he and I were lucky that you didn’t make it a permanent thing.” “The only thing he could possibly be talking about was something that happened only one time and as far as I’m concerned, it was not sex. One Friday night after a football game, Colby and I stole a bottle of my dad’s vodka when he and Mom were out of town and we got totally sloshed. Kyle must have been on a date because otherwise he would have been there too. At some point one of us dared the other to see what it would be like to kiss another guy. I don’t even remember who started it. Well, we both sort of liked it so we kissed some more and we ended up jacking each other. We were so drunk I don’t even think that either of us got off. That’s all it was, Tag. ” “So you did lie to me when you told me that I was the first man you had ever been with.” “No, I didn’t. You are the first man I ever had real sex with. There’s an enormous difference between what you and I shared together that first time and what two drunk seventeen year-olds did that was so upsetting and improbable at the time that once

140 William Neale we sobered up, it scared the shit out of both of us and was never mentioned again. But apparently Colby did have some reason to tell Kyle about it.” “Which is way more forthcoming than you were with me.” “Tag, first of all this happened way before you and I even met. Second, it wasn’t some torrid love affair. It was just two horny kids jacking each other one night. That happens between teenage boys all the time. How can you be jealous of that?” “I’m not jealous. I’m hurt that you didn’t tell me the truth. You’ve let me think all this time that I’m the only man you’ve ever been with.” “Tag, you are the only man I’ve ever been with. Why are you so insecure about this? You know how much I love you.” “Yes, that I do believe. But what I don’t know now is how many other things you haven’t told me.” “So seven years of absolute fidelity, trust, and crazy love for you are now meaningless. Nothing I’ve told you has been believable. Is that the sum of it?” “No. I don’t know what I feel. I’m just really hurt, Clay.” “Sweetheart, look at me.” Clay clasped his hands on Tag’s shoulders and directed him to Clay’s eyes. “What’s really going on here? Why are you doubting what we have together? I couldn’t possibly love you more than I do. You’re letting some blurry high school thing I truly had forgotten about ‘til now get in the way of the reasons I asked you to wear my ring. It was you who I promised to love, cherish, and protect for the rest of my life.” “But the way you and he were having so much fun together playing football. It was like I was watching two guys who are totally crazy about each other.” Clay let out a long sigh as though trying to contain a growing frustration. “Look—if I had wanted Colby now that’s he back in town, why would I have helped play matchmaker for him and Kyle? He’s my friend, Tag, and that’s all he’ll ever be. Even in high school, as much as I liked him, he was just a friend and that’s

son of A Ditch 141 all I ever wanted him to be.” “But you weren’t out yet.” “Tag, I was out to myself by then. If Colby Dawson had been the one for me, I would have at least let him know how I felt. But I knew there was someone out there who was worth waiting for. And the very first day at the police academy I found him. This hunk of a guy that I couldn’t take my eyes off of, then I find out he’s from Moorestown too. It was you from the get go, Taggy. From the absolute first time we talked. My biggest fear was that you weren’t gay and wouldn’t feel the same way about me. So I played the straight card and settled for being best friends for the longest time until we finally connected. Why would I have been so patient with you if I didn’t think you were worth the wait?” “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I feel right now. I just always thought I was the only man you’d ever been with and that made me feel special, you know? Like exclusive. And now I see this incredibly built and gorgeous guy named Colby making you laugh like you haven’t laughed with me in years and what am I supposed to think? “You’re supposed to think I’m your husband and you’re supposed to cut me a fucking break,” Clay snapped. “I’m trying to be patient here but you’re making it next to impossible.” “It can’t be any worse than how you’ve made me feel about us.” “You know what, Tag? I think I need to go take a walk before I say something I’m going to regret.” “Oh yeah? How convenient that Colby lives right down the hill.” “I can’t believe you just said that. I’m out of here.” Clay grabbed his keys from the kitchen counter and walked out, the adrenaline he’d worked up unintentionally making him slam the door behind him. He winced and thought about going back in and apologizing but stopped. No—screw him.

111

142 William Neale “What the hell was going on with those two?” Colby asked Kyle as they held hands walking back to their apartment. There were still faint streaks of light remaining in the sky so without looking at his watch Colby knew it couldn’t be past nine-thirty yet. “That was the earliest end to a Saturday night I’ve ever had at their house.” “Something was definitely wrong that we weren’t privy to.” “Clay seemed fine but Tag hardly said a word during dinner.” “Yeah, until he yanked our desserts away before we finished them and thanked us for coming.” “He said he had a headache while you and Clay were rolling around in the grass before dinner and went and took some aspirin. But he stayed gone for quite a while and, as you saw, I finished the ribs and the corn.” “Do you think he might have been jealous of me and Clay acting like kids?” “I don’t know. He at first said it was cute and that it would put Clay in a good mood all weekend. Then I made a comment about how lucky Tag and I were that you and Clay didn’t become a couple in high school after the little encounter you two had.” “Do you think Clay never told him about that? I mean, it was pretty harmless as such things go.” “I suppose it’s possible. But why would he care now? That was nearly a decade ago.” “Surely he’s not jealous,” Colby said. “I mean, come on. All he has to do is look at you and me and know that we can’t keep our eyes or our hands off each other. Were you jealous?” “No, I couldn’t stop laughing at you two. ’Course, we’re still in the honeymoon stage. Maybe after seven or eight years if I had somebody as good looking as you wrestling around in the grass with my husband, I might be a little insecure about it.” “Shit, Kyle. I was just having fun. I sure didn’t mean to cause problems between those two. I think the world of both of them.” “Cole, this is not your issue. Whatever is going on between

son of A Ditch 143 them—if anything—is just that: it’s between them.” “Yeah, but I still feel like I should call and maybe apologize.” “For what? What did you do wrong?” “Well, nothing, really. It’s just the thought, I guess.” “Colby, you’ve got a great big sensitive heart and that’s one of the many things I love about you. But it’s you and me who are owed the apology. We were shuffled out of that house like two hound dogs caught stealing hens out of the chicken coop.” “Yeah, I guess when you put it that way, maybe you’re right.” “Let’s let things cool for a couple of days, then invite them out to dinner in Knoxville, maybe next weekend. We owe them more than one good meal and that’ll give us all a chance to talk about it—if that’s what they want.” “Okay, let’s do it. But, since the evening is still so young and it’s still so hot outside, why don’t we fill us up a couple of gocups of something cold and alcoholic, put on those swimsuits we didn’t get to use, and go take a dip in the pool.” “You think we could get away with making it kind of a romantic skinny dip?” Kyle squeezed Colby’s hand. “Nobody uses the pool at night. I’m game if you are.” “You’re on.”

111 “Hi—uh, Andrew,” the tall blond guy said to the other slightly shorter recruit at the police academy get-acquainted reception. He had to strain to read the man’s nametag in the dim light of the tired old former high school gymnasium. “I’m Clay.” “Actually, the name is Tag. Good to meet you, Clay.” “Yeah, I see your name, Tag. But it says Andrew.” “Yeah, I’ve heard that one a few times before,” the chestnut-haired man said with a good-natured smile. “Tag is short for Taggart, which is my last name.” “So your mama named you Andrew but when she called you it was like

144 William Neale ‘Tag! Here boy! Where’s my little doggie?’” “Yeah, I’ve heard that one too, smart ass. Only not since I was eight. I can tell right now you’re either gonna be an asshole or a buddy. Which is it gonna be?” “How about a buddy who’s occasionally an asshole?” Tag laughed. “Then that’s what it’ll be, despite the fact that your mama named you after a can of Play-Doh.” “I resemble that remark. Actually, she named me after the clay mud my face reminded her of the first time she saw me.” “I think I might like you, Clay-Doh, even if you are an occasional asshole.” “Yeah, I’m liking you too, Rover. Of course, I tend to like most dogs I meet.” “The question is, do most dogs like you?” “Well sure they do—as long as I wear a raw steak around my neck.” “I knew there was something I liked about you. I might just have to buy you a beer to go with it.” “I thought all you could get here is the 7-Up fruit punch some jail cook probably catered.” “I don’t think the jail cook works over at the sports bar across the street.” “Oh really? Then I’m totally there. Let’s blow this place and go watch the second half of the UT—Florida game.” “Yeah—what the hell kind of Tennessee police academy schedules a lame get-acquainted reception the same night the Vols are playing the Gators?” “Well, we’re in Nashville, not Knoxville. They must all be Vandy fans, poor losers. You lead the way, Clay-Doh.” After Clay left, Tag poured himself a glass of wine and took it out on the back terrace. He felt terrible. He had practically dared Clay into Colby’s arms even though he logically knew there wasn’t a ghost of a chance of Clay actually going there.

son of A Ditch 145 Why do I do this? Why can’t I just accept the fact that he loves me and wants to be with me? Tag took a sip of the pinot noir and it felt like fire going into his queasy stomach. He walked to the edge of the terrace, tossed the garnet-colored liquid out on the grass, and went back into the house. He paced for a few minutes before deciding a tall glass of ginger ale on the rocks might settle his stomach. He poured it and went outside to the front porch veranda. All the ceiling fans were running so at least there was a decent breeze here. He chose one of the wooden rocking chairs and ignored the spectacular view of the town on the clear, starry night. Instead, he kept his eyes focused on the driveway and street below to watch for Clay’s return. “Where do you think you’ll get on?” Tag asked Clay. “Well, we’ve pretty much applied to all the same departments so your guess is as good as mine. Where do you want to be?” “I don’t know. On the one hand, I think one of the big cities like Memphis or Nashville would be cool. But it could also be kind of stressful and dangerous. So maybe a smaller city. Not a Mayberry kind of place. Just big enough to be interesting but manageable.” “Kind of like Moorestown.” “Yeah, although I thought surely I’d end up somewhere besides our hometown. But at least we have family there and a lot of friends from high school,” Tag said. “Except all yours went to West and mine went to East.” Clay smiled. “That may be a deal breaker.” “So we’ll duke it out one Friday night a year when they play each other in football.” “Yeah, I guess that’s a good point. Tag, we’ve gotten to be good friends, you know? I’d even say you’re my best friend.” “Yeah, you too for me.” “How would you feel about us sort of making a pact that we stick together on this? Take jobs at whatever police department offers both of us a

146 William Neale spot. We’re already roommates at the Academy and we know how well we get along. We could be like a built-in support system for each other while we’re both just starting out as rookie cops.” “Yeah, I like that. Actually, I’d already thought about suggesting it but didn’t want to seem like I was being clingy or anything.” “Clingy? How could best friends sticking together be clingy? Tag, you know I don’t say mushy things but I can’t think of anybody I’d rather be with right now, okay? I mean, don’t take that the wrong way but I’m serious when I say it.” “Well, Clay, don’t take this the wrong way but that’s like the nicest thing anybody’s ever said to me. Thanks, man.” Clay didn’t go far. He really didn’t want to take a walk. He just needed to get out of the house and cool off and try and make sense of Tag’s issues. Seek first to understand, then to be understood, he remembered from some self-help motivational book he’d read a long time ago. Okay, now try and put it into practice. He walked a short ways up the winding mountain street to a house that had been for sale and sitting empty for over a year. The previous owners had lost it in foreclosure. What he liked about it was that it had an even better view of the city and the mountains and that there was an old-fashioned swing on its wide front porch where he could sit undisturbed when he wanted to be alone. Ironically, he could have plucked a peach from the tree growing in the side yard and tossed it dead center below into his own backyard. He wondered if Tag was sitting out on the back terrace right now or whether he had simply gone to bed. Or maybe he was out on the front veranda contemplating the same view as Clay and wondering why they’d just had one of the worst fights in all their years together. It was times like this that Clay wished he were more of a drinker because it would have been very easy to have taken a bottle of something with him and simply sit up there all night until he ultimately passed out. At least he wouldn’t have to go

son of A Ditch 147 back home and confront whatever had possessed Tag to question and doubt Clay’s fidelity. And on that count Clay was at a loss. In his mind he had done nothing wrong. Nor, as that old expresident had once said, had he even sinned in his mind. Did straight couples fight about things like this? Was a straight husband expected to make a list of all the sex or near-sexual encounters he’d had since the age of seventeen and report them dutifully and in detail to his wife? And likewise, should she have to do the same? He knew Tag had been a virgin to gay sex the first time they’d been together. But it wouldn’t have mattered to Clay if Tag had had experience. Okay, check that. Yes, that would have mattered. But if the roles were reversed and he found out Tag and Kyle had once fooled around on a couch a single time when they were seventeen, how would he feel about that? Honestly, I think I’d probably laugh about it and maybe even tease them both at the opportune moment. But is that how I would really act or how I’d like to think I’d act? Okay, take it a step further. What if Kyle and Tag had spent pretty much the whole first half of the evening totally engaged with each other as though their partners didn’t exist? Tackling, grabbing, hugging, giggling—all in quest of a stupid football? What if he’d seen Tag laughing and having more fun than he could remember the two of them having together in a long time? Guilty. Shit, no wonder Tag was so upset. And then Kyle goes and tells him about the one time Clay and Colby fooled around. No matter that it was just a drunken jack-off. Or a one-time-only thing. From Tag’s perspective, one plus one must equal three. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

“I think I’m a little drunk,” Clay said as he sat on the single couch of the two-bedroom apartment they’d rented after accepting patrol officer positions with the Moorestown Police Department. “You don’t hold your liquor real well, buddy,” Tag said.

148 William Neale “And you’re not swaying like a sailboat mast yourself? Here, sit down next to me. You’re making me dizzy.” “Okay, so we’re both a little tipsy. But hell—our Vols just won another national championship. So what if it was the women’s basketball team?” “Coach Pat Summit has more NCAA victories than any coach in history—male or female. She’s a friggin’ legend in her own time.” “You got that right,” Tag agreed. Clay paused as though making a decision and continued. “And, you know who else is a legend?” “Who?” “You. You’re a friggin’ legend in my mind,” Clay said softly and seriously. “What’s that supposed to mean?” “It means I’m just drunk enough to finally tell you how I feel about you.” “Well, yeah, I feel the same way ‘bout you. You’re the best friend a guy ever had.” “No, I’m not. A real best friend would have been a hell of a lot more honest with you.” “You’re not my best friend?” “Shit, Tag, are you really that clueless? I love you, man. I have since that first day we met at the Academy when I went out of my way to meet you and you called me Clay-Doh.” “Well I love you too. Never said that to a guy but I mean it. You’re way closer to me than any of my brothers.” “Damn it, Tag.” He grabbed him by the shoulders. “Look at me. I. Love. You. I am in love with you. Do you hear that? Do you know what it means?” “It means I feel the same way about you.” “No—I don’t think you understand,” Clay stammered. “I’m gay. I’ve been hiding it all this time. I’ve been hoping you’d eventually fall for me the same way I’ve fallen for you. But I can’t hold it inside me any longer. I want you in ways I can probably never have you. But I’ll understand if that’s the case. I just hope we can still hold on to our friendship.”

son of A Ditch 149 “Did you hear me, Clay-Duh? I said I feel the same way.”

“You love me too?”

“Now who’s clueless? Of course I love you. Always have. The damned

stupid part of this whole thing is that we’ve felt the same way about each other all along but were too afraid to talk about it.” “I didn’t want to risk losing you.” “Ditto from Officer Taggart.” “God, I want to kiss you.” “Then what’s keeping you, Clay-Duh?” “Hey, handsome man.”

“Tag, what are you doing here? How’d you know I was here?”

“Well if you’re going to come up here to a vacant house and

rock this swing like you’re putting an insomniac baby to sleep, then you should maybe bring some oil to lube those rusty chains.” “Guess I didn’t realize how loud it was squeaking. And you could hear that down below?” “Yeah, at first I thought it was a sick bird somewhere. Then I thought maybe squatters had broken in up here. But when the swing kept going at it, I just figured it was you working off some steam. I’m sorry, Clay. I was a stupid asshole before. I know you’d never cheat on me. Not with Colby, not with anybody. Please forgive me for pissing you off like that. You deserve a whole lot better than that from me.” “Hey, sit down here beside me.” Clay put his arm around Tag and pulled him close. “I appreciate you saying that but once I had a chance to look at things from your perspective I realize how rude I was to ignore you and Kyle that way. Colby just brings out the silly kid in me and I probably have the same effect on him. We were insensitive and I was not a very good host.” “No, Kyle thought you guys were funny and laughed his head off. This was just me being insecure and dumb.” “Tag, your feelings are what they are so don’t call them dumb.

150 William Neale The one thing you really need to understand is that there was nothing ever going on between Colby and me and there never will be. And when we were playing tonight, a couple of times when we stopped to catch our breaths? All he could talk about is how madly in love he is with Kyle. They’re floating in some high orbit together. They remind me of us. Remember how we felt in the early days once we came out to each other?” “Yeah, after you left tonight, I was thinking about those times and how kind of magical they were. What we had back then, we still have living somewhere in us, don’t we, Clay?” “You bet we do. Sure, we don’t act like newlyweds much anymore but whose fault is that, huh? We just have to make time and take time to recharge our relationship batteries every once in a while.” “Clay, I’m sorry I doubted you.” “You hush with that. I have an idea,” he smiled mischievously. “That is if you want do something kind of crazy and spontaneous the way we did when we were starting out.” “The answer is yes before I even hear it.” “Let’s get naked right here and make hot sweaty love in this swing. The harder we fuck, the louder it’ll squeak.” “God, that’s already making me hard.” “Then strip, lover. I’m gonna take you for the kiss-and-make­ up ride of your life.”

chAPteR fifteen Dappled early Sunday morning light leaked in shadowed splotches through the open curtains of the one window in Colby’s—now both men’s—bedroom. They planned to turn Kyle’s room into an office for studying once they both began classes in the fall. Colby opened his eyes and gazed at the face of the man to whom he now professed love several times a day. Kyle breathed rhythmically and softly in his sleep. He looked boyish, innocent even, and yet the sharp firmness of his jaw line and slightly furrowed and broad, intelligent forehead suggested a man who was smart, strong, protective and fiercely loyal. Of course, Colby was just a bit biased when he gazed at his man like this. But he knew without doubt his assessment was accurate. Colby still marveled at the fact that nearly three months earlier he had rolled into town on a Greyhound bus, emotionally wounded and exhausted. He had come to Moorestown because it was home and the safest place he could logically go to escape the rank heap of hurt Gregg had dumped on him. Finding a new boyfriend—much less long term partner—had been the least of his objectives. And now, here was the platitude come true—sleeping with the man of his dreams. Gregg seemed like such a distant and insignificant blimp in comparison now and yet, with the split second arrival of his name, Gregg had forced himself through the door and demanded acknowledgment yet again. Colby willed himself to push Gregg to the far back corner where he would be least intrusive. He refocused his attention on Kyle. Colby had never connected either emotionally or sexually with a man the way he did with Kyle. Sex with Gregg had always been good but it was rather one-dimensional. Gregg was an exclusive bottom who often treated Colby more like a stud horse than an equal partner in pleasing each other. In fact, Colby now thought, that should have sent up a warning flag about Gregg—

152 William Neale how even after multiple rounds of Colby’s dick pounding his ass, he still wanted more. And now, Colby again realized, Gregg’s detention in the back corner had once again proven short-lived. Colby peered through the open bedroom door and saw the unknown man pumping on top of Gregg—who was loudly—and typically, Colby thought—begging the man to fuck him harder and deeper. An Air Force airman’s uniform shirt had been discarded in the hallway just outside the door. He stared for a few seconds at the man’s massive tattooed eagle whose wings spanned from one shoulder blade to the other. Dizzy and nauseous, Colby had to step away. With Gregg’s uninhibited wails and moans resounding throughout the townhome, Colby went to Gregg’s home office computer and saw that Outlook was still opened to an In-Box folder titled “CL.” He began to click through the trails of some of the e-mails received and discovered that Gregg had placed an often re-posted ad on Craigslist D.C.—CL—in the “M/M Encounters” section. It was the same ad each time, headlined “Fuck Me While My Wife Is At Work.” Since Gregg often worked from home, he had ample opportunity to host and he apparently thought Colby would never find out. Gregg must have also thought that Colby would never snoop in his computer so he had not deleted any of his mails for several months. The only “good” thing Colby could amass from such a mountain of incriminating evidence was that Gregg had insisted in his ads that safe sex was a requirement. When Gregg and his latest trick emerged from the upstairs bedroom and headed down the stairs, Colby sat on the living room sofa waiting for them. Despite the bad head cold that sent him home early, he had taken the unusual step of pouring himself a stiff glass of Jack Daniels while he waited. “Colby! Oh my God!” Gregg practically screamed. “It’s not what you think.” “And what do I think?” Colby asked calmly. “He’s a client. QUE is representing him. I was just showing him the townhome.”

son of A Ditch 153 “So, young stud Airman with the Bald Eagle tattooed all across your back,” Colby said, still in uniform and using his best Staff Sergeant’s command voice, “how did you enjoy the view of my partner’s ass while you were up there touring my bedroom?” With a panicked look, the baby-faced nineteen or twenty-year-old guy bolted and literally ran for the door, not bothering to close it behind him.” “This is the first time I’ve ever done this, Colby. I’m so sorry.” “No,” Colby said, picking up the stack of printed pages he’d made from Gregg’s computer. “From my brief survey of your Outlook Craigslist folder, you’ve been doing this regularly for months. Maybe for as long as we’ve been together, but your e-mails don’t go back that far. What especially hurts is that you called me your boring wife and told all these guys that she was lousy in bed and couldn’t give you what you needed.” “Oh, Jesus,” Gregg began to cry. “I don’t know what to say. You’re not boring at all. I just needed sex more often than we were having it.” “Gregg, I screw you nearly every night and plenty of mornings too. If you’re not getting what you need, then you’ve been faking an awful lot of orgasms on our sheets. You’ve obviously got a serious issue you should get help for. But it’s your problem, not mine. I want you out of here. Pack what you need and get the hell out right now. Once you find a place, we’ll make arrangements to get the rest of your things.” “You can’t just put me out on the street. You know how expensive it is to live here. I don’t make enough at QUE to get a place as nice as this. I’ll have to live in a slum apartment somewhere in the city.” “Guess you didn’t think about that while you were slumming your ass to any guy who wanted it. The lease is in my name. Get out or I’ll let the police put you out. You understand?” “Colby, please! I’m begging you. My credit cards are maxed out. At least let me sleep on the couch for a few days until I can make some arrangements.” Colby stood up, pulled out his wallet, and handed Gregg all the cash he had. “Here, this will get you a cheap motel for a few nights if none of your snooty friends will take you in. Maybe if you’d been charging for your whore ass all along, you wouldn’t be in such dire straits. Now go pack your stuff and get out.” “Please, Colby. I’ll do anything. Beat me up. Punish me. Rape me as

154 William Neale hard as you want. I deserve it. Just don’t kick me out.” Colby looked him up and down, a look of bitter disgust on his face. “You make me want to puke. You’ve got thirty minutes to pack and get out. And one more thing. I’m going to the base clinic tomorrow and get tested. If you’ve given me anything, I’ll do way worse than beat you up and I’m not kidding. We’ve had unprotected sex since we moved in together. How could you claim to love me while risking my health every time you invited some stranger into our bed!” Colby’s heart raced as he relived that day yet again. On some level he would never get over the shock of Gregg’s betrayal. Now, the full amplitude of his emotions told him he had already fallen more in love with Kyle than he had ever approached with Gregg. Could he risk having his heart shattered into even more tiny pieces if for some reason things didn’t work out? “Hey, what’s that worry frown doing on your face this early?” Kyle said groggily. He leaned forward and kissed the furrow above Colby’s eyebrows. “You have a bad dream, hon?” “No, I was just thinking about stuff I wish I could forget.” “Gregg again, huh?” “Yeah, I guess.” “You’re still giving him free rent in your head.” “I know. But believe it or not what started it was me watching you sleep and thinking how perfect you are in comparison. I mean it, Kyle. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. And you’re always just so there for me.” “We’re there for each other. You make me ten times stronger.” “Geez, do we sound like a soap opera or what? Enough sappy talk. You know what I’m in the mood for?” “I can guess,” Kyle smiled sexily, reaching over to tweak Colby’s sensitive nipple. “Not that—at least not just yet. I want breakfast in bed with you. It’s Sunday morning so we don’t have to be anywhere for

son of A Ditch 155 a while. I’ll cook us some bacon and eggs and toast and we can come back to bed and feed each other. And then,” he said with exaggerated raised eyebrows, “maybe we can find some nooks and crannies on your body where I can spread some of the leftover jam.” “Hmmm. Kinky, but I like it. Sounds like this might be a little fantasy of yours.” “You bet it is. I’ve always wanted to try that. This is the last time I’ll mention Gregg but he was always so grumpy in the mornings. And on Sundays, if he didn’t sleep till noon, he got all pissed off at me if I woke him up. So breakfast in bed never happened.” “Well you know I have the opposite issue. I couldn’t sleep in if I wanted to. I don’t know how people waste half the day away like that.” “Yep, yet another thing we have in common. So you wanna stay here and wait or do you want to help with breakfast?” “You know you don’t really want my help. How about I just come and keep you company? And let’s stay naked, okay? Watching you cook that way might be a little fantasy I have.” “Mmmm,” Colby hummed as he kissed Kyle. “I like your fantasies. Brings a whole new perspective to eggs and sausage. Just let me go to the bathroom first.” While Colby was in the bathroom he heard Kyle’s pager go off. After he brushed his teeth Colby came back into the bedroom. “Naked cooking and breakfast in bed are gonna have to wait, babe. I’m sorry,” Kyle said. “What’s going on?” “Dad wants me out by the prison site asap. Somebody dug a big ditch all the way across the state prison property line last night. He said it’s ten feet wide and four or five feet deep. No way they’ll be able to drive equipment onto the property on Monday morning.” “Oh shit. He did it. Damn it, Dad!”

156 William Neale “That ain’t all. They’ve set up a tent city on your dad’s property next door. It looks like they’re gonna start their protest today.” “Can I go with you?” “No, I’m sorry. We’re gonna have to separate business from personal for a while. I don’t want you getting in the middle of all this. You do what you need to do with your family and I’ll do what I need to do with my job. If the protesters see you with me, they’ll think you’re a traitor and the same thing if law officers see me hanging with you. We’re gonna have to be cool about things for a while and keep our relationship here at home.” “Yeah, I’m not surprised. I just want to fly under the radar on all this, Kyle. I’m sorry my dad has started all this.” “No, he’s standing up for a cause that I happen to personally agree with. But I have to do my job so I hope you and me can keep things separate and not let it mess with what we have.” “On that, you have no worries. Go get your shower and I’ll quickly make you something good for breakfast. I love you, you know that?” Kyle crossed the room and met Colby’s lips. “I’m counting on that.”

chAPteR sixteen News of the prison protest emanated from the local news media early Sunday morning and spread from church pulpit to church pulpit. In a town where many people were regular churchgoers, word spread rapidly. And in a town where such people did not want two thousand convicted sinners among their midst, the message resonated. By early afternoon, cars and trucks were parked at least a half mile up and down both sides of the highway so Colby left his truck at his parents’ place and walked back down the hill to the protest site. He could see it in its entirety from his driveway’s elevated vantage point and it looked like something between a gathering riot and a traveling carnival. As he approached, he was surprised and vaguely impressed at how organized everything seemed to be. There were three different entrances to the site from the highway, each clearly marked with large red flags and professionally produced signs that said “Visitor Parking,” “News Media,” and “Delivery & Emergency Vehicles,” respectively. A Dawson Construction site trailer now had a big red sign on it that said “Ina and Aden’s Express” and there was a long line of people waiting at the walkup window where they could place their orders. Outside the trailer, teen-age girls and boys wearing matching red golf shirts alternated in handing out bottled water from large bins of ice and, from stacks of cardboard boxes, red baseball caps with the letters TAT printed on them. Smart moves, he thought, given the hot day and the lack of a single shade tree on the site. Two stages—one large and the other smaller—were erected on the side immediately adjacent to the planned prison. The larger one had a full-length backdrop in the state colors of deep red and blue, again professionally produced, that displayed a large Tennessee flag with a rather slickly designed logo reading “Tennesseans Against Tyranny.” Beneath it was the tagline,

158 William Neale “Defending Our Constitutional Rights.” A canopy had been hung over the stage to shield it from the elements and tall poles flanked each side with multiple audio speakers mounted on them. Colby thought the “TAT” message interesting. Not the expected, “Stop the Prison,” but apparently a more sophisticated strategy that pitted the rights of the state government against those of local citizens to determine how their lands are used. I guess that’s why you hire a big Nashville PR firm. The smaller stage was nearly filled with television news crews so that their cameras could shoot from a higher angle above the heads of all the people gathered in front. Just from counting the vans with microwave links and satellite dishes mounted on top, Colby saw that all four Knoxville stations were there, a couple from the Tri-Cities area in upper East Tennessee, and now pulling in, a van all the way from WSMV in Nashville. A petite woman wearing a much too large red golf shirt with the TAT logo imprinted on it met the Nashville crew and handed them red pocket folders with “Media Kit” imprinted in large letters on the cover. She then led them to a tent with a sign on it saying “Media Courtesy Center.” Colby wondered what the big white letters G.O. printed on the back of her shirt meant. Then there was the ditch. More like a dried up canal, Colby thought. It was a broad gaping scar across the entire length of the state’s property. The partially paved entrance Colby and Kyle had noted a few weeks earlier had also been dug up and removed. Random piles of red clay dirt lined the prison side of the trench every fifty feet or so, effectively adding to the barrier. A row of picketers marched in a very long and narrow loop in the maybe twenty-foot-wide space between the highway shoulder and the edge of the ditch. They carried professionally produced signs—red with white lettering, of course—with various messages: “No Prisoners in Moorestown,” “Say No To State Tyranny,” “Impeach Gov. Foreman,” and the real ringer, Colby thought, “Pitch In For Dawson’s Ditch.” Is Daddy’s ego really that big or was that the PR peoples’ idea? “Would you like to wear a support button?” asked a gangly

son of A Ditch 159 college-age boy with nerdy black-rimmed glasses and who wore the now omnipresent G.O. uniform. “Not right now, thank you,” Colby answered politely. “You mean you don’t want to show your support for stopping state tyranny?” “No, buddy, I just don’t wear buttons.” “Then how about a free baseball cap?” “No thank you to that too.” “Who are you, man?” he stood back in a defensive stance. “Are you like some undercover plant from the state here to spy on us?” “No, I’m from that house right up there on the hill. My name is Colby Dawson.”

111 “May I have your attention, please?” a throaty female radio voice announced over a loud speaker system that surprised Colby in its volume and clarity. “Our kick-off rally will begin in ten minutes. Please gather in front of the main stage and make sure you pick up one of the complimentary noisemakers our Gentle Organizers in the red shirts are passing out. Thank you.” G.O.—Gentle Organizer. Was there anything these people didn’t think of ? He didn’t want to be in the middle of the crowd of herded cattle so Colby found a less occupied spot next to the media courtesy tent. His eyes traversed the gathering crowd of what now must have been several hundred people. Directly across on the other side he saw Kyle talking to Clay. Both caught Colby’s eye at the same time and they each offered a small wave. Colby, in return, gave them a relaxed Air Force salute which made both men smile. A tall, rather willowy silver-haired woman wearing a smartly tailored suit the color of red velvet cake walked across the stage to the center microphone. “Ladies and Gentlemen, please remove your hats and stand at attention to join in singing our national anthem performed by Miss Jameseena Jefferson from The Zion

160 William Neale African Methodist Episcopal Church Youth Choir.” Colby watched in fascination at the immediate, patriotic, and respectful silence from the crowd. He didn’t even hear a baby crying. A very obese teenage girl who, Colby thought, also had a very pretty face and smile, began singing a bluesy, spiritual a capella rendition in a perfectly pitched and astoundingly powerful voice. When finished, the crowd cheered and applauded well past Miss Jefferson’s exit from the stage. The unidentified host reappeared. “That was very moving and beautiful, Miss Jefferson. Thank you. Next, here to perform the official song of the great state of Tennessee, from the Country Legends Dinner Theater in Pigeon Forge, is world-famous country music star Miss Denise Dailey.” At first glance, Colby thought she was a drag queen. Tall and big-shouldered with a head of billowing blonde ringlets that looked like a wig Cher would don during some over-the­ top show number in Las Vegas. Her muscular arms framed a tight sleeveless sequined red dress with matching stiletto heels. Her voluminous breasts were dutifully covered for such a Sunday crowd, but they were impossible not to notice. The final touch was a TAT baseball cap somehow perched in the midst of her “do” reminding Colby of a bird’s nest in a bush. She walked with straight-posture confidence to center stage. And, as someone who liked country music, Colby had never heard of her. “To quote my dear and close friend the late great Minnie Pearl, ‘Howwdee!’” she yodeled at a volume that hurt Colby’s ears. “I’m just so proud to be here!” The crowd burst into laughter at her spot-on imitation of the country comedienne’s shrill hoop of a greeting that turned the word ‘proud’ into a three syllable word. “I want to dedicate this song to all you good East Tennesseans who braved the heat today to show your support for our constitutional rights to home rule and self-determination. It is my honor to perform our state song first made world famous in 1950 by my dear and close friend, Miss Patti Page. And, you can hear me sing this and other legendary hits every night except Sundays at Denise Dailey’s Country Legends Dinner Theater right on the

son of A Ditch 161 main drag in Pigeon Forge just across from Dollywood.” A five-piece band situated at the back of the stage struck up the familiar musical introduction to Tennessee Waltz and, to Colby’s surprise, the woman began singing in Patti Page’s voice, almost exactly imitating her trademark style. “Damn, she sounds just like her,” said a man standing in front of Colby. “That’s what she does, dummy,” said his wife. “She can sound just like Patsy, Loretta, Dolly, Tammy, all the great ladies—even Reba.” “Shush, I’m trying to hear,” he whispered. Once completed, the crowd roared its approval over Miss Dailey’s shouts that she would be back later for a full concert. Next, a white-haired minister from some Baptist church began a prayer that quickly charged the governor of the state of consorting with Satan. Grinning and shaking his head, Colby decided to find an even less crowded spot. Yes, he knew it was rude and disrespectful to walk around while people were praying but he tended to get claustrophobic in large crowds and too many close bodies had begun to smother him. He spotted Tag standing alone next to the diner trailer and joined him. “You sure you want to be seen with a cop?” Tag said under his breath while the long prayer continued. “You sure you want to be seen with the queer son of an illegal ditch digger?” Colby whispered back. “Touché. This sure is something, isn’t it? It looks like they’ve been planning this for months.” “Yeah, amazing what Daddy’s money and a big-time Nashville PR firm can pull off in two or three weeks.” “Speaking of which—looks like he’s next up.” “Thank you Reverend McClanahan for that inspiring prayer and good afternoon, fellow Moore County citizens and East Tennesseans. For those of you who don’t already know me, my name is Cy Dawson.”

162 William Neale As though on cue, all the noise makers handed out were suddenly engaged and the crowd’s clamor seemed more like five thousand than five hundred. “I’m callin’ us all East Tennesseans instead of just Tennesseans because the State Government has declared war on every one of us. I guess some of ya’ll may have noticed that big ole ditch over there that somebody went and dug last night.” Scattered throughout the crowd, the red-shirted Gentle Organizers began in choreographed unison shouting “Dawson’s Ditch, Dawson’s Ditch, Dawson’s Ditch” until the entire crowd picked up the chant. Cy allowed it to continue for a minute or so until he raised his hands to ask for quiet. “Now ya’ll shouldn’t be calling that thang Dawson’s Ditch because it ain’t mine. I don’t have nary an idea of how that thang got there.” The crowd erupted into laughter as Cy grinned and winked really hard at the crowd. “Why’s he doing that stupid hillbilly accent?” Tag asked. “He doesn’t talk like that.” “I know,” replied Colby. “Must be the PR people telling him to relate to the crowd.” “Yep, somebody went and done that on their own without my knowing about it. But I’ll tell you this. Whoever it was is a damned hero to me. And it is the first line of dee-fense against those who seek to destroy our very way of life here in the heart of East Tennessee.” The crowd roared until again, Cy asked for silence. “The thing is, we got us a crook from Memphis for a governor and by hook or crook he somehow got himself elected into the governor’s mansion. And despite what he says publicly, in private, he’s sending us this prison because he hates East Tennessee. He calls us all ignorant redneck hillbillies. He even called our own Mayor Simpson a racist.” The crowd booed emphatically.

son of A Ditch 163 “Can you just imagine the gall of calling our very fine mayor—an African American man himself—a racist? Well I’ll tell ya’ll something about all us ‘racist hillbillies.’ How could we keep re-electing the best mayor this city has ever had and be called racists? How could a single person in this crowd listen to that sweet little Jameseena Jefferson’s glorious rendition of our national anthem and ever be called a racist? Am I right?” The crowd cheered in response. “Why’s he doing the race baiting thing?” Tag shouted in Colby’s ear. “I don’t know. I guess to demonize the governor all he can.” Cy continued as the crowd’s cheers died down. “This poor excuse for a governor has decided he’s going to cram a state prison down the throats of a community that does not want it, does not need it, will not accept it, and which has a constitutional right to reject it.” Cy had abruptly dropped the hillbilly accent. He now spoke forcefully and with the diction of a minister comfortably standing in his pulpit. “If you’re listening, Governor—and I’m sure you will be— you are officially served notice that the citizens of Moorestown, Moore County, and all of East Tennessee will not stand for this. We demand our local zoning ordinances be adhered to, and we will never issue a building permit for this travesty of democracy. More important, we demand the specified rights of home-rule and self-determination granted to us by the Tennessee Constitution. “Governor, we will not only fight you all the way to the United States Supreme Court, we will stand vigil here for a week, a month, six months, a year, even six years if we have to. Twentyfour hours a day, seven days a week. We will not allow one single construction vehicle to cross onto this land you bought for the expressed purpose of expanding Lakeway State University. You will have to run us over or shoot us down first. Do you hear me, Governor? You have awakened a sleeping giant in the hills of East Tennessee. We will rise up and show you just why this is called the Volunteer State!”

164 William Neale “I think Daddy just declared war,” Colby said into Tag’s ear as the cheers reached the highest volume yet. “Yeah, and I dread the day when the state decides to fight back,” Tag shouted back. “In the spirit of our state’s proud history of sending men and women to war, I am asking each and every one of you and all the people watching at home to commit to volunteering here at Dawson’s Ditch. Join our Volunteer army of patriots as we declare war on Governor Foreman and the state legislature. Anyone across the state or across the nation is welcome to join our cause. Give us whatever time you can spare, whether it’s an hour a week or eight hours a day.” “We’ll feed you well too. Ina and Aden’s Diner Express will be serving burgers, hot dogs, fried chicken, and all the tasty side dishes that go with ’em. And every full plate will cost you just twenty-five cents.” He chuckled in an exaggerated way that seemed scripted. “At those prices you can come and feed your whole family here every day and save on your grocery bills while doing your picket duty at the same time. And, of course, coffee, soft drinks, and bottled water are always free.” “Now, just three things I ask you to cooperate with. First, please throw all your trash and empties into the many trash cans provided, including those designated just for recyclables, because it is important we respect the environment. Second, no alcohol is allowed. Not even beer. So if you bring your liquor here, we’re gonna have to ask you to leave. And no guns are allowed on the premises at any time. This is a peaceful family protest and if you come here drunk or armed, then our outstanding officers from the Moorestown Police Department and the Moore County Sheriff ’s Department will have to take you to jail. And to all the good men and women I see here from our law enforcement agencies, we thank you for coming and assisting us. You’re one of us and you are welcome at all times. On top of that, Ina and Aden will feed you for free in the Peace Officers Courtesy Tent because there is nobody we respect and admire more than our public safety officers and of course, our EMT units from the

son of A Ditch 165 Moorestown Rescue Squad.” “He really missed his calling,” Tag yelled over the crowd. “Your dad should be running for governor himself.” “Don’t think it hasn’t crossed his mind,” Colby shouted back.

111 “I can’t believe I got pulled off the golf course to see this,” Governor Carson Foreman said grumpily in the Ready Room located in the basement of the governor’s mansion. “WSMV is actually carrying this horseshit live.” “Actually, it’s live all over the state, sir. They’re sending a feed to any station that wants it. It’s apparently a real slow news day.” “No, it’s worse than that, Governor,” his press secretary Ernie Hawkins said. He took the remote and keyed in a new channel. “Fox News is now carrying the feed too. The whole goddamn country is seeing this.” “How the hell did they pull this off ? They’re just a bunch of dumb small town rednecks.” “Yeah—dumb enough and rich enough to hire Burkes and Banks to do their PR.” “Shit!” “And apparently rich enough to feed everybody who comes to picket. They’ll have a guaranteed crowd at every meal time.” “Find out what you can about this Dawson character,” Foreman ordered no one in particular. “If we can destroy him, figure out a way.” “Will do, Governor. They’re estimating the crowd now to be a couple of thousand people and growing. People are seeing it on TV and coming there. Highway 25E—they call it the Davy Crockett Parkway locally—is little more than a big street festival right now. The Highway Patrol is stopping semi-traffic on I-81 that would normally take the shortcut up to I-75 in Kentucky. They’re routing them through Knoxville now.” “Why isn’t the Highway Patrol at the prison site? How did

166 William Neale they let it get out of control like this—on a state highway no less?” “What do you suggest they do, Carson?” asked his chief of staff. “Mow these people down with machine guns?” “Don’t be ridiculous. But I could call out the State National Guard. We could say it’s just for crowd control and safety.” “You call out the Guard and not only will Fox carry it, we’ll have every other major news outlet in the country bearing down on Moorestown. The best thing we can do right now is issue a statement that reaffirms the state’s right to do what is best for the entire state and which commits to finding a peaceful and lawful resolution with the good citizens there.” “Should we tell them I told the mayor that if they got the college then they had to take the prison too?” “That would likely take some of the heat off you,” replied Hawkins. “Then do it. Write it up but let me look at it first. You and me both know that’s not exactly the way it played out.”

111 “Hi, Kyle. How you doing?”

“Wes, what are you doing here?”

“I’m just a concerned citizen here to show my support. But I

was hoping to run into you.” “I’m on duty now. Not to be rude, but what do you want?” “I just wanted to thank you.” “For what?” “Dumping me like you did helped me realize that being faithful to you all these years made me miss out on a lot of opportunities. You’re not the only gay fish in the pond, you know.” Kyle laughed incredulously. “You have a wife and you’re telling me you’ve been faithful? And what’s the ‘gay fish’ line all about?”

son of A Ditch 167 “It means I’ve found somebody else too. You’ve got your Colby. Now I have my guy.” Kyle felt a sudden and inexplicable rush of jealousy. “Who is he?” Wes smiled, pleased his lure had been taken. “He’s not out so I can’t tell you. But we’re very happy. You know, Kyle, you and I should have probably ended our relationship years ago. I’m having a lot more fun now.” Kyle smiled and shook his head, actually amused at Wes’s feeble attempt. “You know what, Wes? I’m thrilled for you,” he said with warm sarcasm. “And how lucky you are that your new boyfriend doesn’t mind only seeing you one or two times a month at the Diplomat Motel. Except during wrestling season, of course, when you’re never available.” “That’s not how it’s going to be this time around.” “Really? So I guess you’ve already given him your cell phone number and e-mail address, huh?” “Fuck you, Kyle.” “Listen. You came up to me and started this shit so don’t get pissed when I send it right back to you. If you two are happy with your arrangement, then God bless America. I frankly don’t care either way. Now as you can see, I’ve got a big crowd to deal with and need to get back to work.” He turned and began walking away. “Kyle—please wait. I’m sorry. I didn’t come here to be such an asshole. You just don’t realize how much you hurt me.” Kyle couldn’t help an ironic chuckle. “How much I hurt you? Okay, fair enough. If that’s true then I apologize. I never set out to hurt you and I hope you’ll be real happy with your new guy. Just do us both a favor and stay away from me, okay?” “Kyle—please—it doesn’t have to end this way. We could still work things out.” “Lower your damn voice, man, and don’t make a scene in front of all these people. Listen, the kindest thing I can do here is

168 William Neale just be direct and honest. There is nothing to work out. Not with you. Not now, not ever. I’m with Colby. End of story. Goodbye for the last time, Wes.”

111 “Well, Dad, that was some show,” Colby said, finally finding his father in a tent labeled “TAT Headquarters.” He noted that it was air conditioned, which explained the steady hum of a generator outside the tent. “You liked it, huh?” Cy grinned, clearly pleased with himself. “I just hope you know what you’re doing. This is pretty high stakes stuff.” “Yeah, it sure as hell is. And I’m gonna win this one. I saved every dime the state paid me for that land to use for hard times. And these are most certainly hard times.” “Where’s Mama?” “She’s up at the house. She didn’t feel like coming down here.” “Is she sick?” “No, truth is, she’s still pretty mad at me. She doesn’t exactly agree with what I’m doing. She thinks I’m spending money that should go to what she says are more deserving causes, most notably a bunch of grandchildren’s trust funds.” “She does have a point. But I’ll stop and see her before I go and maybe try to cheer her up some. I parked my truck up there.” “Good. She really misses cooking Sunday dinners. I think it’s got her kind of depressed.” “Dad, she went on strike out of principle. When Cy and Caleb saw me earlier they walked right past me and didn’t say a word.” “I raised a couple of arrogant assholes, didn’t I?” “That’s not for me to say. But I’m not backing off what I said about not having anything to do with them. So do you have an end game on this protest thing?” “Well sure. To get the state to put the prison somewhere else.”

son of A Ditch 169 “What if it doesn’t?” “They will. This is an act of civil disobedience that’s already getting nationwide coverage and support. Burkes and Banks tells me our website has been overwhelmed with traffic—and with people who want to donate money to our 501(c)(3).” “What’s that? “We’re applying for recognition as a not-for-profit community service organization. People will be able to make donations and deduct them off their taxes.” Colby laughed, shaking his head. “Was there anything you didn’t think of ?” “Nope. And I expect to see you out here every day. It’s important people see my sons behind me on this.” “Dad, I wish you success but I don’t want anything to do with this.” “It’s important you work with me, Cole. If anyone suspects family dissension, our credibility gets shot out of the sky.” “Dad, I’m living with your potential adversary. You guys are on the wrong side of the law on this, no matter how noble the cause. When the state pushes back—and they will—Kyle may have to start arresting people. If I’m out here protesting that’s gonna make it real awkward for him and me. So please don’t put me in the middle or make me choose sides.” “You’ll choose sides with your family, Colby. I mean it.” “Here we go again. As far as I’m concerned Kyle is my family too. You need to respect that. You even told me you’re looking forward to calling him your son-in-law. Remember that?” “Colby, we’ll table this until we can talk more. My handler is motioning for me to get a move on. I’m needed right now to do a bunch of live stand-ups for all the six-o’clock-news broadcasts. Did you know Fox News has a crew here now?” Colby watched his father rush off with the same silver-haired woman who had acted as the host announcer during the rally. Dad has a handler?

170 William Neale

111 The crowd had not thinned; if anything it had continued to build into the dinner hour. The speeches that followed Cy’s had now been replaced with one continuous country music concert, headlined by Miss Denise Dailey. Ina and Aden’s Express had run out of food and was just passing out free candy bars, bags of chips and soft drinks. They said they had a truck on the way with fresh supplies. “There you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Colby said to Kyle. “You look really beat, babe.” “That’s because I am.” He looked at his watch. “I’m going into my eleventh hour at this zoo. Both Moore County and MPD have every available person on duty. I don’t know how we’re gonna keep this up if the crowds don’t slack off soon.” “It’s got to, Kyle. I was planning on heading home but I could stay and help you if there’s anything I could do.” “No, I appreciate it but we can’t deputize Cy Dawson’s son.” “Yeah, good point. Do you have any idea when you might be home?” “No. Supposedly we have relief help coming from Newport and Jefferson City. The Rescue Squad’s got it even worse. The one thing your dad and his planners didn’t think of was a triage tent to deal with everything from scraped knees to hyperthermia.” “I’m so sorry, Kyle. I’ll let him know that.” “Oh, trust me, he already knows and says he’ll have one here tomorrow. But don’t you be sorry. Go on home and don’t wait up for me. I’ll try and be quiet when I get in.” “I’ll not only be up and waiting, I’m gonna give you the best massage you’ve ever had when you get home.” Kyle’s gaze and expression changed from tired to grateful. “I love you, you know that?” Colby looked on both sides of them to see if anyone was in earshot and smiled. “Watch it, Deputy. You can’t be overheard saying sweet somethings to a Dawson.”

son of A Ditch 171

111 “Matty, wait up!” Colby called. His brother walked ahead of him and was about to head up the long hillside driveway to their parents’ home. “Slaughtered any flying pigs lately?” Matt grinned and pointed at the empty column Colby had nicked with his truck, breaking one of his mother’s twin sculptures. “I’m gonna replace it. I just gotta find out who in the world would take credit for making such a butt-ugly thing.” Matt laughed. “Mary Alice and I were pissed you didn’t knock off the other one too. But Mama loves her pigs. I was looking for you at the protest but never saw you.” “In this crowd finding anybody is almost impossible. You headed up to see Mama?” “No, I parked my car up there too. I saw your truck so knew you were around somewhere.” “You’re not gonna at least say hello to her?” “I already did. I spent some time with her when I got here. I need to get home now before the kids go to bed. Mama’s in a pretty gloomy mood right now. She misses Sunday dinners and she’s upset that all these people are invading her peace and quiet.” “I’m gonna try and talk her into ending her strike. We all know Sunday family dinners are more about pleasing her than us. But if she won’t do that, maybe I’ll suggest that Kyle and I can at least come eat dinner with her on Thursdays or something.” “No, as much as she likes to say that the Dawson men are all pig-headed stubborn—pun intended—she’s even worse than Daddy. She ain’t gonna budge until Cy and Caleb come around. Making it worse, they’re not letting Sue or Karen bring the grandchildren to visit either.” “That’s just pure old mean chicken shit. They’re punishing her and her grandchildren on account of me. Matt, are these guys really our brothers?” “It goes way beyond you. There’s heavy stuff you don’t know.

172 William Neale They’re worried sick that Dad’s gonna make me the CEO and it’s freaking them out. And since I sided with you, that makes me a double enemy. Dad’s been making all kinds of comments hinting that he’s changed his mind about the succession plan. They’re hardly even talking to me now—except, of course, when they need money.” “Matt, if either one of them had any sense, they’d just pretend to make nice with me. I would swallow my pride and play along for Mama’s sake.” “They know they can’t get away with lying to her. Her bullshit radar can spot a lie a mile away.” “I’m gonna go try and talk to her about it anyway.” They had reached Matt’s SUV. “I’m sorry we haven’t had you and Kyle over yet. It’s not been on purpose—just a crazy summer so far. I hope you know that Mary Alice and I both want you guys to be happy, and we’ll support you any way we can.” “I know. Dad told me you threatened to kick Cy Jr.’s ass when he called Kyle and me fags. I really appreciate it, Matty. You having my back means a lot to me.” Matt pulled Colby into a tight hug. “I’m your brother. I’m always gonna look out for you. But you should know that the one who frightened Cy Jr. was Mary Alice. I thought she was gonna rip his throat out. She told him you had bigger balls in your little finger than he did in his entire you-know-what.” “That is so cool,” Colby laughed. “She’s always been terrific to me. Please thank her. And if Cy and Caleb try anything with you, I’ll show ’em what a fag with combat training can do.”

son of A Ditch 173

chAPteR seventeen Governor Says City Agreed to Take Prison Along With New College NASHVILLE—(AP) Tennessee Governor Carson Foreman’s office issued a statement today claiming that City of Moorestown officials agreed to accept the planned state medium-security prison in exchange for the city’s selection as the site of the new Lakeway State University. This refutes the assertion by protest leaders that the state’s decision conflicts with self-determination and home rule rights guaranteed in the state’s constitution. Mayor Calvin Simpson and State Senator Charles McFall met with the governor at what was then the Speaker of the House’s office eighteen months ago, according to Press Secretary Ernie Hawkins. He maintained that both Moorestown representatives agreed to accept the prison if the then Speaker would award Moorestown the new college. “As far as I’m concerned,” said Governor Foreman, “duly elected representatives of Moorestown made a deal and I honored my end of it. If anybody should be accused of forcing a prison down the throats of those good people, it was their own mayor and senator, not me.” Moorestown Mayor Calvin Simpson issued a statement denying any involvement. “The governor of this great state is a liar and is desperately trying to deflect attention from his own incompetence in handling this prison fiasco. I agreed to no such deal. The meeting he referred to was purposed entirely to lobby Moorestown’s case for landing Lakeway State. If such a ridiculous agreement had been made, why did the Speaker and now Governor then wait a year

174 William Neale and a half to finally announce the prison location?” Moorestown Senator Charles McFall was not available for comment and, according to staff, was on extended vacation outside the country. Cyrus Dawson, head of Tennesseans Against Tyranny, the grass roots organization leading the protest effort, could also not be reached for comment. A spokeswoman at TAT’s Nashville public relations firm said that Mr. Dawson was seeking more information and would issue a statement at a later time. The start of construction at the planned twothousand inmate facility has been delayed since the onset of a large local protest movement that included digging a trench across the access frontage to the prison site. Dubbed “Dawson’s Ditch” by local residents, a round-the-clock picketing effort is now in its fifth day since beginning last Sunday.

“I want the truth and I want it now,” Cy Dawson said, walking through the open door to the mayor’s office without knocking. He carried that morning’s edition of the Knoxville News Sentinel. “Good morning to you too, Cy. Was I expecting you?” “Let’s have it, Calvin. We’ve been friends for a long time. Look me in the eye and tell me Foreman is a liar.” “Okay, Cy. Sit down. Here’s the God’s truth. Foreman tried to make that deal. Charlie and I listened to him for the sake of discussion just to see where he was going with it. We went so far as to discuss a site Jake McNabb owns out near the city dump. We’d been thinking about putting an industrial park there. It’s hidden behind a hill and out of sight and it’s only a half-mile from interstate access so we wouldn’t see any prison traffic in town. The closest neighbor smells like rotting garbage and a prison there would provide good paying jobs and state-worker benefits for a few hundred people at a time when this area really

son of A Ditch 175 needs the jobs. That was what we offered him and he reneged on it. Not once did we discuss the college site they chose. And that took me by surprise as much as it did you. What he’s doing is intentionally saying ‘Fuck you, Moorestown. I’m putting a stinking prison right in front of your pretty new college.’” “You should have seen this coming, Calvin. You know what happens when you deal with the devil.” “It was a risk Charlie and I were willing to take in order to get Lakeway State. And we know what kind of hugely positive impact the college is already having on the town even before it opens.” “Yes, we can all see that. But didn’t you start getting suspicious when the state didn’t buy Jake’s land out by the dump?” “Yes. Foreman and I had three different phone conversations about it. He told me in the third conversation that Moorestown was out of the running and that they were going to put it up in Erwin. Here’s the kicker, Cy. That was only two days before he announced that it was going across from the college.” “God almighty, he is the devil, isn’t he? How are we gonna deal with this?” “I was hoping not to have to pull out all my weapons just yet but it seems he’s fired the first two shots. First by putting the site by the college and now by falsely attacking me and Charlie and trying to ruin us politically.” Calvin pointed to a digital cartridge on his desk. “At two-o’clock today Charlie and I have an interview scheduled with Art Sessenbrenner of The Tennessean. Charlie’s in town, by the way. He’s not out of the country—he’s just staying out of sight up at his cabin on Norris Lake.” “Sessenbrenner. Why is that name familiar?” “Used to be a kingmaker in Tennessee politics. His grandfather was the paper’s publisher for a long time, but Art’s also got a Pulitzer to his own credit. I know him from a feature story he did on me several years ago when I was the first black mayor ever elected in an East Tennessee city.” “Okay, so what’s the point of this interview? We don’t often

176 William Neale get reporters from Nashville here.” “Every one of those phone conversations I had with Foreman was recorded because I never trusted him farther than I could throw him. I’ve got proof of what a liar and a scumbag he is and, if all goes to plan, that’ll be the headline in Sunday’s Tennessean. It’ll get statewide coverage which means I’m just returning the serve he lobbed my way. On top of that, Jake is prepared to swear that the reason the state didn’t buy his land is because he refused to agree to the nice fat kick-back the governor’s front man asked for.” “Is that true?” “Jake McNabb is in church every time the doors open. He doesn’t lie.” “Damn, Calvin. I hope I’m never your enemy.” “When somebody declares war on me they better damned well be prepared for the consequences.”

chAPteR eighteen “Guys, school starts up in only five weeks and we’ve just gotten a little over half of the fleet serviced and ready.” Colby stood in the break room of the garage while his crew sat at the room’s two round tables. “I’m looking at our progress figures here and, what the hell? I’ve gotten nearly twice as many vehicles ready as anybody else. What is wrong with that picture? Huh? Anybody wanna offer a reason why?” “Because you’re so good at this you practically just look at one and it fixes itself.” “Nice try, but no brownnosing allowed, Ronnie. Somebody give me a real reason.” “You put in so many checklists and rules we spend all our time doing paperwork, boss,” Randy Wardell said. He was the most experienced of the mechanics on staff. “That’s not the way we’re used to doing it.” “Randy, I do all the paperwork. All you have to do is put a little check in a box that says ‘Yes, I checked out the brakes on bus twenty-four.’” “Yeah, but it’s such a long list and we never had to do that before you came here.” “Randy, you got kids don’t you?” “Yep. Three of ’em.” “You want them riding in a bus that hasn’t been thoroughly inspected from top to bottom? What if those brakes gave out and the bus couldn’t stop at a train crossing?” “My kids aren’t old enough for school yet.” Colby let out an exasperated breath. “Then don’t you give a damn about somebody else’s kids? Jesus, man, do you realize how important your job is? Your work could potentially save lives and a whole lot of hurt for some innocent little kids whose parents

178 William Neale count on us to keep them safe.” “Sorry, boss.” “Listen, Randy—all of you guys. I’m not here to be a bad-ass. I’m just trying to make sure that nothing hurts or jeopardizes the kids who are riding on our buses. What do I have to do to get you guys to buy into that and to just do your jobs? I can’t keep stopping what I’m doing all day long to go track you down and find you out having yet another cigarette break or being on the phone with your wife or your girlfriend. The County pays us all to work from seven till three. You get lunch and two fifteen minute breaks. That’s it, guys. Am I getting through to you?” None of the men answered. “Alright, I’ll answer for you. Yes, you do get it. I want a commitment from each of you that we’re going to get this going past second gear. One at a time either tell me ‘Yes, I commit’ or ‘No, I’m gonna find me another job.’ You first, Randy.” One by one the four men repeated the words “I commit” in the same monotone. Colby felt like pulling out his hair. He grasped for something positive—anything—to build a fire under them. “Tell you what. If we get on schedule and have all our buses ready in time for the first day of school, I’ll take each of you and your wives or girlfriends out to a big fancy dinner. We’ll go to Davy Crockett’s Steakhouse or somewhere real nice like that. How’s that sound?” “That sounds like a winner, Colby,” Chauncey Miller answered. “I ain’t ever been to a fancy place like Davy Crockett’s.” Colby hoped the carrot he’d just dangled would help motivate at least Chauncey. “Randy, could I see you just for a minute in the office? I need your opinion on something.” “Sure boss.” Colby closed the door. “Randy, what’s the deal? I’ve been nothing but nice to you guys and I’ve also been real patient. But I was hired to do a job and it’s like you’re trying to sabotage it. Is

son of A Ditch 179 it something personal or do you just not care?” “I was promised your job but I didn’t get it.” “Who promised you?” “Joe did.” “Well Joe got fired. How could he promise you his own job?” “He always told me I was next in line and if I worked hard I’d be in charge one day and making a lot more money.” “Okay, I get that and I’m sorry it didn’t happen. But do you think it’s fair to take that out on me?” “I don’t know, boss.” “Randy, my name is Colby. I’ve told you that over and over. I work side by side with you and don’t ask you to do anything I’m not already doing myself. As I understand it, Joe sat on his ass in this office all day and watched porn on the Internet. I can’t do anything about the fact that you were passed over and I’m sorry about that. But as much as I don’t like to use the word, I am your boss. Do you want to keep your job?” “Well sure I do.” “Tell me why.” “There ain’t no other mechanic jobs out there right now. And I need the insurance for my kids.” “Then act like you want it. Act like you give a big damn about taking care of your kids. I’m putting you on notice. Come to work each day like you want to be here and give one-hundred percent of yourself or you’ll have to find work somewhere else. I’m not a bad guy, but I can also be a son of a bitch if you choose to work against me. Listen, Randy, I can tell you’re a good guy. And you’ve got to admit, I’ve showed you a lot of things you didn’t know before. Work with me and I can help make you an even better mechanic. And if you do this, I can help qualify you to really take over one day because I’m not going to be here forever. But change the attitude and the work ethic or you’ll never get that chance. You understand?”

180 William Neale “Yeah, Colby, I sure do.”

111 “God, what a day!” Colby said as he shut the apartment door. “You’re telling me. I just pulled another twelve-hour shift at your daddy’s ditch” Kyle sat on the sofa with a beer can in his hand. The television was on with the volume turned down low. He’d been watching an Atlanta Braves baseball game. “I know you’re busting ass, babe. I’m doing the same. We’re so far behind and my guys work like they’re in slow motion. I’m having to stay late every night just to check their work to make sure it’s done right.” “What’s for dinner?” “I thought I’d just have a sandwich.” “You mean you’re not cooking something for us?” “Kyle, it’s already after nine. Didn’t you eat at the site? I thought Ina and Aden’s fed you for free.” “I don’t want a lousy hot dog. I want something good that you make.” “Okay, Kyle,” he said resignedly. “What would you like?” “How about a steak?” “We don’t have any steaks. I’d have to go to the store.” “Then go to the store. I’d really like a steak.” “Kyle, what’s with you? I’m bone tired. Can’t you see that?” “You’re always bone tired. When are you gonna be home when I get home and have dinner already cooking like you used to?” “Do you think I’m you’re damned stay-at-home wife?” Colby exploded. “When are you gonna clean this apartment? It’s a pig sty.” “What do you expect? I’m spending all my damned time trying to deal with the mess your father has created. It’s not right that he won’t hire private security. He’s stretching our resources to the

son of A Ditch 181 point of breaking and I’ve had it!” “So you’re taking it out on me?” “Well he is your father.” “That’s not fair and you know it. How many times have I been out there since the first day, huh? Zero fucking times. I told him I would not let that come between you and me and now you’re doing that exact thing to us.” “No, Colby, you’re doing that to us. You want to walk around with your head in the sand and act like the only important thing in the world is getting a bunch of school buses to start up.” “The same way you do nothing but whine and complain about having to watch a free country music concert every night.” “You think that’s what I do? Do you know how many drunks I had to haul out of there tonight? I can hardly even move my shoulder now from the one big asshole I had to wrestle down.” “Then take some aspirin. That’s what you get paid to do.” “I don’t need this. I thought you cared about me. I thought you loved me.” “Okay, time out, Kyle. Just take a deep breath before we start saying stuff we don’t mean. We’re both tired and cranky and we need to just stop this right now.” “Okay, Colby. You want me to take a time out, you got it.” Kyle got up, mashed his empty beer can on the counter, and grabbed his car keys. “Where are you going?” “To find somebody that’ll make me a damn steak,” he said as he rushed out the door and slammed it behind him. Colby felt weak in the knees. They had never fought. Not once. They’d never even argued over the remote control. Not in now four months of living together. He was torn between ramming his fist through the kitchen drywall or putting his head down and bawling. This was a side of Kyle he didn’t know existed. But to be fair,

182 William Neale he’d shown Kyle a side of him that had also never come out. Was this a sign that what they had wasn’t as solid as he thought? That maybe their love had actually been more of an infatuation—an escape from the hurt he’d felt over Gregg? And for Kyle, just a convenient exit strategy from the surly affair he’d had with Wes Watson? He went to the sofa and slowly sank down. It was warm from Kyle’s body heat and he could still smell Kyle’s sweet and musky sexy scent. It made the battle between fist ramming and crying not even close. For the first time in his life—the breakup with Gregg included—Colby shed tears over a man. A couple of minutes later he heard the click of the door opening and looked up. Kyle walked in and stopped. His own face was wet and streaked. “That was a real fast steak,” Colby managed weakly. “Oh, Cole, I am so sorry.” He rapidly closed the short distance between them and leaped more than landed on top of Colby. “Please forgive me. I was a total prick for acting that way. I didn’t mean any of it.” “I know you didn’t,” Colby said, stroking his hand through Kyle’s short sandy hair. “We just let our stress and our exhaustion boil over on us. I’m really sorry too. I should have been more sensitive to what you’re going through.” “It’s no worse than what you’ve got. You’re dealing with a bunch of lazy assholes willing to let you take the fall on something that’s really important.” “You know what? Let’s don’t talk about our jobs right now, okay? Let’s let go of it. That’s what we’ve got to do from here on out. When we walk in that door at the end of the day, it needs to be totally about you and me. Leave all the other crap outside.” “Yeah, you’re right. That’s exactly what we need to do.” He looked up and smiled. “But I gotta say, you are mighty talented when it comes to those killer massages you give me after an especially hard day.” He kissed Kyle’s temple. “Then that’s exactly what you’re

son of A Ditch 183 gonna get tonight. And I’m gonna spend a lot of time on your sore shoulder too, poor baby. But first, I’m gonna make you something good to eat.” “You don’t need to do that. I can just make a sandwich too.” “Hell no you won’t. We don’t have steaks but I can broil us a couple of big fat burgers. I made up extra patties and froze some last time I made them.” “Right now that sounds even better than a steak. And while you’re doing that, I’m gonna start cleaning up this place. You’re right. It does look like a pig pen.” “Hon, I didn’t really mean that. Tomorrow’s Saturday. It can wait until then and I’ll help you. You’ve had such a hard day already. Why don’t you just relax and have another beer or a glass of wine while I do the burgers?” “No, I have to work tomorrow so I might as well get a start on it now. But,” he smiled and kissed Colby’s nose, “I don’t have to be there till noon so maybe after we eat, instead of a massage let’s just both get naked and fool around some.” “You’re not too tired?” “No way I’m missing out on our first kiss-and-make-up session. Just think of all the ways I’ll get to show you I’m sorry.”

111 “Damn, you’re too good at that,” Kyle said as Colby’s strong hands kneaded the stiffness and soreness out of his aching shoulder. “But I told you we should just be kissing and making up. My being such a jerk was why we fought in the first place.” “Just hush and let me do this. Did it ever occur to you that massaging this hot body of yours really turns me on?” “Really?” Colby pulled Kyle’s outstretched hand back and directed it to his erection. “See?” “Yeah, I sure do,” he said as he gripped Colby’s cock. “Maybe you should put this big guy to work massaging my ass now.”

184 William Neale “I can do that. Although I thought you might want your happy ending inside me tonight.” “You know I love either. Which do you want most, babe? You tell me. Let me do that for you.” “You sure you don’t mind?” “Why else would I ask?” “Then let’s do it so that we both get a nice massage. How about you turn over and just lay back. Let me ride you for a while. That okay?” “Like you have to ask. Climb on board, baby.” “Let me grab a condom.” “Can’t we go without one this time since I’m topping and we know I’m safe?” “Kyle, you know we can’t until I’m tested again.” He ripped open the foil packet and rolled the thin sheath of latex down Kyle’s erection. “Just a few more weeks of these until we know for sure.” “But, Cole…” “You have no idea how much I want to feel your cum inside me. You’ll be the very first to ever do that.” “Which is why I don’t want to wait. But—oh—yes, Cole— damn, you feel so good and tight.” Colby finished sliding himself down the full length of Kyle’s cock. “Ummm, yeah. I love having you in me like this. Let’s just take our time and make this last.” Colby began a slow rocking motion, using his strong thighs and calves to lift himself up and down. Kyle reached his hands up to tweak Colby’s nipples, which he knew were major pleasure zones for Colby. “I’ll try but you’re gripping my cock so tight I don’t think I can make this first one last too long.” “Then lucky us, huh? Now we get to play switcheroo.”

chAPteR nineteen Moorestown Mayor Says Governor Lied and Sought Kick-Back Breaking News Exclusive to Tennessean.com by Arthur Sessenbrenner MOORESTOWN, TN — Moorestown Mayor Calvin Simpson has produced evidence asserting that Governor Carson Foreman lied about claims that a “tit for tat” deal was made with city officials to locate a proposed new state prison in Moorestown. During an exclusive interview with The Tennessean, Simpson and State Senator Charles McFall played recordings of three telephone conversations that occurred between the mayor and governor. Simpson and McFall claim the calls collectively refute the Governor’s charge that the two agreed to accept the prison’s location on land originally set aside for expansion of the new Lakeway State University campus. None of the phone conversations made reference to a prior deal alleged by the governor to accept the prison in exchange for awarding the college to the city. The only reference to a Moorestown location centered on a proposed site near Interstate 81 adjacent to the city’s garbage landfill and for which no purchase agreement was ever executed. Nor was the university campus location ever mentioned as an alternate during the calls. In the third phone call, occurring only two days before the governor announced selection of the college

186 William Neale site, Foreman told Simpson that the town of Erwin, Tennessee had expressed strong interest in hosting the medium-security facility and that Moorestown was “out of the running.” Erwin City Manager Donna Bradoch confirmed that she had been in discussions with the governor’s office and provided what she termed “a detailed incentive package” that included free land. Foreman has repeatedly maintained that the Moorestown college site was chosen because it would not require the state to purchase new land for the prison. “What kind of governor would tell an outright lie to the mayor of one of his state’s largest cities?” Simpson charged. “Foreman intentionally deceived me and, in turn, showed his true colors as a man devoid of ethics, backbone, or decency.” Adding to the conflicting charges between Nashville and Moorestown, Simpson also produced an affidavit from Jake McNabb, the owner of the proposed site near the city’s landfill. It claimed Foreman’s chief of staff, George Eller, told McNabb that if the state agreed to buy his land, he would have to deposit a “sales commission” in an unspecified bank account. When contacted by The Tennessean, McNabb confirmed the authenticity of his statement but refused further comment, referring any additional questions to Simpson’s office. The Governor’s office declined to offer specific rebuttal on the content of the phone calls with Mayor Simpson and denied the assertion that Chief of Staff Eller demanded payment of a kickback. “The governor stands by his original statement that Simpson and McFall did agree to locate the prison in Moorestown,” said press secretary Ernie Hawkins. “It was the Governor’s prerogative to decide the actual location and he chose the one that would save the taxpayers the most money.”

son of A Ditch 187 The Tennessean requested a copy of the Erwin proposal under the state’s open records law but it had not been received when this story was filed. Eller also personally denied charges of an attempted kick-back scheme. “This is obviously a malicious and unsubstantiated attempt by Mayor Simpson’s office to bring discredit to the governor’s office.” “These are scandalous breaches of conduct by the governor and his staff,” said Simpson. He called upon the State Senate to open an investigation into the Governor’s actions and requested that both legislatures rescind the decision to locate a prison in Moorestown. State Senator McFall, the Republican minority whip, confirmed that he planned to introduce legislation to move the proposed prison location to Erwin, a town of fifteen thousand residents located in far northeastern Tennessee. Read a more comprehensive version of this story, including abridged transcripts of the phone conversations, in tomorrow’s Sunday edition of The Tennessean.

111 Carson Foreman paced back and forth in front of his seated chief of staff. Both held the front page of the Sunday Tennessean. “George, is there any remote chance you outright asked this hillbilly farmer for a kick-back?” “Define kick-back.” “You know what I mean.”

“I did what you asked me to do the day after you were elected.”

“Shit. George, why there? That was supposed to apply only to

friends and supporters. Not people in enemy territory.” “That’s not what you said, Carson. You said, and I quote, ‘If people want the state to do business with them, then they’re

188 William Neale going to have to do business with me.’” “Is there any way this McNabb guy can prove this?” “Not unless he was recording the phone call.” “Damn it, George!” “Carson, I was very careful in how I chose my words and you can’t be impeached for something that didn’t happen. We’re only dealing with this because of your damned political posturing. You decided it was more important to screw the mayor of that town than to be a governor who does what’s best for his state. And what’s more, if you had put that prison next to the garbage dump where it belongs, we wouldn’t be in this mess and one way or another, you would have had another hundred thousand dollars in your retirement fund.”

chAPteR tWenty “Folks,” Larry Grigsby began, “we have a situation. About an hour ago Harlan and I were on a conference call with the head of State Highway Patrol in Nashville.” Operation Proaction now met daily because of the ongoing volatility of the still-growing protest movement. The task force had been expanded to include Sheriff Harlan McCoy, Fire Chief Roy Lucas, and Annie Adams, Director of the Moorestown Rescue Squad.” “You want to tell ’em, Harlan?” “No, you go ahead.” “The governor has decided to play hardball. He has directed a small army of the Tennessee Highway Patrol to escort a caravan of heavy equipment to Dawson’s ditch and to physically remove the picket line so that the equipment can cross the ditch and begin site work. They have requested our assistance in arresting people and, if necessary, in prosecuting them.” “Holy shit, how are we gonna do that?” Clay blurted. “Oh, excuse my language, ladies.” “Holy shit is right,” Annie agreed. “Ya’ll know as well as I do that some of those bubbas ain’t gonna disperse peacefully. Hell, some of ’em are packing guns even though they know they’re not allowed. We’re gonna have bloodshed and broken bones to deal with.” “When’s all this supposed to happen?” Kyle asked. “We don’t know for sure,” Harlan replied. “They told us within the next twenty-four hours. Larry and I got the impression we’re probably talking early tomorrow morning before the day shift of protestors starts showing up.” “Why’d they wait so long to tell us this?” Tag asked. “This will take a lot of planning and coordination by us. We need game plans for all possible contingencies.”

190 William Neale Harlan rubbed his forehead in thought.“Yes, I agree. I think they waited until the last possible minute to tell us because they assume we’re on the side of the protestors and will give them a heads up.” Clay slapped his hand down on the table. “Those sons of bitches! We’ve done nothing but play this professionally. We’ve kept them in the loop. We even invited one of their own on this task force until for whatever reason they pulled Tim off it.” “On top of that, there’s nothing stopping us from tipping off the protestors anyhow,” said Kyle. “So why did they tell us about this at all if they don’t trust us?” “Because they can’t pull this off by themselves,” Larry answered. “It’ll be a PR disaster if THP rolls in here and starts knocking heads on their own. They need us to knock some heads too.” “That’s a decision we’ll have to make and it’s a big one,” replied Harlan. “My inclination is to say no for the sheriff ’s department—but we’re not going to abandon you, Larry, if you feel differently. This is totally a state operation on which we were not included in the planning so it’s a bit late to be involving us now. I don’t have a problem telling the press that either. If the Governor wants to treat local law enforcement as sympathizers and even interlopers, then he should have to stand on his own with the full responsibility for the outcome.” “I agree completely with you, Harlan. If they don’t trust us to help plan for a peaceful outcome, then I don’t want MPD being blamed for a violent one. They’re looking at this problem like it’s a nail and the only solution is a hammer.” “So what do we do?,” Kyle asked with clear frustration. “We can’t just stand by and do nothing.” . “Maybe the action ya’ll should take is to appear to act with real acting.” All eyes turned to the mayor’s representative, Mrs. Hale, as she offered the first words ever spoken beyond “hello” in one of their meetings. “Make it look like you’re cooperating with the State until the last possible minute. But when push comes

son of A Ditch 191 to shove, you all take a step back By then the State will have no choice but to either follow through alone or to retreat with their tails tucked between their legs. Either way, you’re setting ’em up for failure. They’re going to be humiliated and the news media will report that.” Silence filled the room for several seconds while the group absorbed Mrs. Hale’s words. “Mrs. Hale,” Larry finally responded. “That’s not exactly standard police procedure. I mean, we are supposed to be on the side of the law here. Is this your suggestion or the Mayor’s?” “I can’t say, Chief Grigsby. I am his representative on this task force, however.” “So if I understand this right, he’s suggesting this but he really isn’t suggesting it.” “That would be about right, sir. I might add, however, that he has known about the state’s plans since yesterday.” “Then why didn’t he tell me he knew—he is my boss, after all. Does he expect me to accept responsibility for an idea he won’t admit to?” “Like I said, Chief, the Mayor doesn’t know about any of this.”

chAPteR tWenty-one “Larry, I’m really pissed at you,” Rogan James said from his home office in Cleveland. “How could you be pissed? We haven’t talked for a couple of months.” “That’s why I’m pissed. We used to talk at least once a week.” “Well you know the phone works both ways, buddy.” Rogan laughed. “That it does, my friend. We can’t let so much time go by again without talking. Besides, Lucas and I have been thinking about bringing the family down before school starts up again. I need to get some fishing time in and I want my son Rogie to get some practice casting his line on a real lake instead of a small ocean like Lake Erie. I’ll expect you to take some time off and join us.” “Maybe when my big mess blows over—if it ever does. I’m in desperate need of some advice from the guy who used to do my job.” “I was only the deputy chief, Lare. You’re the man.” “You’re the man who taught me everything I know and now you’re the big time consultant. By the way, I saw you interviewed on 60 Minutes about that Patterson cold case you solved. Everybody in Moorestown was really proud of you.” “Well don’t be too impressed. They made it look like a much bigger deal than it really was.” “You haven’t changed a bit, have you? You’re incapable of taking credit for anything. But I know you’re busy so I’ll get to the reason I called. Are you familiar with what’s going on with this whole prison issue?” “More or less. It’s been getting some national press. In fact Lucas and I read what the New York Times did on it last Sunday. Naturally, they turned it all into a class struggle between the poor

194 William Neale illiterate hillbillies on the picket line and the state power brokers who would never accept a prison in their own backyards. But even I could see they missed the crux of the story. Am I right?” “Totally right. Coincidentally, I talked to a reporter from your Cleveland Plain Dealer just yesterday about it. She seemed way more on top of the real story and said this is shaping up as a landmark Supreme Court case between the rights of local communities versus state authority. She thought it would set legal precedent for similar battles all over the country.” “Yeah, I think she’s right. The real battle will be fought in the courts. So what can I do to help you with your big mess?” “I’ve got a potential disaster on my hands, Rogan. You got a few minutes to give me a free consultation?” “I don’t do free consultations. It’ll cost you a whole day in my bass boat with me.” “Only if you buy the beer.” “You got a deal. I just have to listen for Lucas Jr. in case he wakes up from his nap. His other dad is on a client visit in New York and I’m the designated Mr. Mom.” “Oh, how the mighty have fallen. But I’m thrilled for you, Rogan. Seems like life has turned out really good for you and Lucas.” “Oh, yeah, you got that right. Luc and I have never been happier. Okay, fire away, my friend. You’re on the clock.”

111 “So that’s the story,” Larry finished. “I’ve got three options: assist the state and arrest a bunch of hometown martyrs; defy the state and join the protesters, or take Calvin’s non-advice and trick the State into thinking I’m helping them until the last minute before I withdraw my force. What do you think, Rogan? Harlan knows I’m talking to you and he said he’d go along with whatever you recommended.” “When we were teenagers you used to be a big Star Trek fan.”

son of A Ditch 195 “Well yeah, but what does that have to do with this?”

“Help me with this in case I get it wrong. Remember when

Captain Kirk was in Starfleet school training to be an officer? And he had some really important exam test where there appeared to be no survivable solution among the alternatives available?’ “Yeah, I do remember. What was it called? Oh—the Kobayashi Maru.” “If you say so. Anyhow, you know he was called a cheater because he rejected all of the available options and came up with an out-of-the-box answer that solved the problem. That’s what you need to do.” “I still don’t understand, Rogan.” “What’s the first and foremost motto of any law enforcement officer?” “To serve and protect.” “Exactly. So if the State brings an army of troopers there and lines up bulldozers in front of the protesters, what should a police department’s first priority be?” “To serve and protect our citizens. I get it. We’re not joining either side and we’re not abandoning our posts either. We’re standing in neutral territory to prevent harm being done to a peaceful assembly of our people. Rogan, you’re a genius.” “No, I just play one on 60 Minutes.” Larry laughed. “Well for that, I guess I owe you two days in your bass boat.” “Plus now you have to buy the beer.” “You got it, my friend. Thanks, Rogan. Damn, how I miss you.”

111 “What’s wrong, babe?” Colby asked Kyle. “You’re hardly touching your pasta. You don’t like it?” “No, it’s real good as always. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

196 William Neale “Is it something I can help with?” “No, but thanks. It’s something I have to deal with on my own.” “Now you’ve got me worried. It must be pretty serious. Why can’t you tell me?” “Because we agreed to leave work outside the door. Remember?” “Yeah, but you’ve obviously already brought it inside with you. If you’re upset, then let me help.” “God, Colby, there’s nothing more I’d like than to just pour out everything to you. But it’s about the prison and I can’t tell anybody, not even you.” “Okay… I’ll try not to get my feelings hurt that you don’t trust me.” “Of course I trust you. I’m just privy to information that we all swore would not go beyond the task force.” “And you always keep your word. Okay, I respect that. But if you change your mind, you do know I’m a good listener. You also know which side I’ve chosen. My dad is hardly speaking to me. And of course Cy and Caleb don’t at all. Even Matt’s kind of pissed at me.” “Yeah, and I’ve done to you what I hoped would never happen. Our relationship has caused a big rift between you and your family. Talk about your Dawson’s Ditch. The one I’ve made you dig is even deeper.” “You think?” Colby reached and softly brushed Kyle’s cheek. “I don’t think you’ve made me do anything. We’re not married— yet—but I don’t think I’m any different from my brothers and their spouses. Their first obligation is to their wives and children, then to the family at large. That’s what I’ve chosen to do. Daddy and the brothers either don’t understand that or don’t want to accept it. But that’s the way it is. I’ve made that clear and it’s not going to change.” “Colby, I’m going to tell you something that I’m not going to

son of A Ditch 197 tell you.” “What?” “I can’t tell you what’s going to happen tomorrow. But if there’s a way you can keep your family away from there you should do it.” “Are you going to be there?” “Yeah, front and center, I’m afraid.” “Okay, you don’t need to tell me more. I think I know. If I were to call them up and tell them that, though, they’d know something’s gonna happen tomorrow, wouldn’t they?” “Yeah.” “And still knowing that, you told me.” “I love you too much not to.” “Dad and my brothers have a business to run. If they’re not expecting anything to happen tomorrow they’ll all be at work during the day. If anything, Dad’s working especially hard at the company to make up for all the time he missed when he was being yanked around by his PR handler. I’m not going to warn them because I don’t need to. Whatever’s going to happen will happen without them there.” “I’m relieved to hear that. Even I’m not sure what’s actually going to go down but I can tell you this. It’s going to be a very high stakes game of who-blinks-first.”

111 “Cy, it’s Calvin. Hope I’m not interrupting your dinner.” “No, we’ve already eaten. And how are you this fine evening?” “Listen, Cy, I’m going to make this short and you must promise me that this call never happened, okay?” “Okay,” he said slowly. “This doesn’t sound good, but I promise.” “Early tomorrow morning the state is gonna roll in with troopers and heavy equipment. One way or another they’re going

198 William Neale to take the site. I was told by my source that if they have to, the governor has authorized them to drive the bulldozers through the picket line. They figure the protesters will blink and get out of the way.” “Shit—are they crazy? I’ll have protesters pulling out the guns they’re not supposed to have and firing at them. It’ll be a bloodbath. I expected the State to try something but nothing that stupid.” “Cy, they’ve got a court order demanding that TAT exit state property or go to jail. You specifically are mentioned as the head of TAT so you’ll be the first to be hauled away.” “What about MPD? Are they going to help?”

“Help the state or help you?”

“Either I guess. Which side is the City on?”

“You know what side the City is on. But legally we’re in

uncharted waters here and so far I’ve been unable to find a judge who will overturn the state’s order. I believe, but I’m not sure, that MPD and the Sheriff ’s Department are going to pull their forces and leave the burden on the state to enforce their own order.” “Why are you not sure?” “Because I unofficially gave them a slightly different option to consider. But I’m leaving it to Larry Grigsby to make the final decision based on what actually comes down. He’s a good man and I trust his judgment.” “Are you saying they may cross the line and join us?” “No, they can’t do that. Every one of them would lose their state law enforcement certification. I can’t go into any more detail, Cy. I’ve already told you more than I should.” “Okay, I understand that and I appreciate it. I’ve got a few phone calls to make I guess.” “Well, not that it’s any of my business, but you might want to also call that PR firm of yours and have them alert all the news media. If the State comes in here and provokes a bloodbath, we

son of A Ditch 199 wouldn’t want to stifle freedom of the press, would we?” “Thank you, Cal. No matter what happens I’ll remember this.” “Cy, you’re one of only two people I trust absolutely—and I’m married to the other one. God speed.”

chAPteR tWenty-tWo There’s an old adage in East Tennessee that says the number of foggy mornings in August will equal the number of snowstorms during the upcoming winter. If this old wives tale were indeed true, the first Thursday in August predicted a blizzard. Despite almost zero visibility, the stream of cars and pick-up trucks began arriving at around five a.m. in the designated parking area for “Visitors.” Once again, the protesters’ call network had delivered. When the lot was filled, they began parking in single file on the shoulders of the divided four lane highway. From his observation point on the empty news media stage, Kyle thought it looked like a scene from a horror movie as a seeming army of zombie-like characters continued to emerge from out of the fog and straight to the long coffee line at Ina and Aden’s Express trailer. Someone had clearly leaked the news and that was not a good thing. “Thought we were gonna keep this quiet,” a familiar but not friendly voice said several feet behind him. Kyle turned as Clay and Tag walked up onto the stage, neither looking happy. “Are you accusing me?” “Well, we know who you sleep with.” “Colby doesn’t know what’s going on here. You also know that he has stayed out of this. His dad and brothers are mad at him over it.” “So you’re giving your word that you did not tell Colby anything?” Kyle didn’t answer immediately but rather looked away for a brief moment. “I told him if he could keep his family away from here today he should do it. That’s all I told him.” “Then you might as well have told him everything. Damn it, Kyle, I thought you were a professional,” Clay said, clearly angry.

202 William Neale “No, Colby didn’t make or take a single phone call last night. I was with him the entire time. He said that his dad and brothers would be working at Dawson Construction today and there was no need to warn them to stay away.” “Well, I just passed Cy Dawson a few minutes ago and he had his three other sons with him. So much for what Colby said versus what Colby did.” “You don’t know that, Tag. Colby would not betray me. Somebody else had to leak this.” “Who? Your father the Sheriff ? Rescue Squad Annie who’s already overwhelmed beyond her ability to handle things? The church mouse Mrs. Hale?” “You heard her yesterday. The Mayor has known for over two days. Who knows how many people he’s told?” “Yes, I guess that’s possible,” Tag said, “but he has stayed completely out of this whole protest business. It was you who warned Dawson’s son to keep his family away. Blood is always gonna be thicker than boyfriends, Kyle. Your loose lips have made our job today about a hundred times harder.” “No, with this crowd, I’d say a thousand times harder,” Clay added before walking back down the steps and away. Tag looked at Kyle, shook his head, and followed his partner.

111 “How could you, Colby? How could you do this to me?” Kyle practically screamed into his cell phone. “What are you talking about? I just got out of the shower.” “You called your dad and told him what was going on here.” “No I didn’t. Why are you accusing me?” “There’s at least five hundred people out here waiting on the state to arrive. Somebody tipped them off and the whole Task Force thinks it was me who blabbed word to you about it.” “But you didn’t. You told me I should keep my family away and I told you it wouldn’t be necessary. End of story.”

son of A Ditch 203 “Well your family’s out here right now. You’re saying you didn’t call them or anybody else?” “When would I have done that? We went to bed right after dinner and you know how we spent the evening.” “Did you call him while I was in the shower afterwards?” “No, of course not.” “Did you wait until I fell asleep to call him?” “I don’t appreciate that, Kyle. I told you I didn’t call anybody.” “Then you must have gone to see him while I was asleep.” “Stop it, Kyle. You’re being irrational and it’s pissing me off. I’m telling you the truth.” “Then you explain how everybody found out.” “I can’t explain anything and I’ve had it with this third degree from you. I told nobody anything. You either believe that I’m telling the truth or just outright call me a liar.” “I don’t know what to believe but you and I are going to have a serious talk about trust and honesty if and when I get through this. I have to go. Jesus, it’s all starting to go down.” The phone clicked dead and Colby looked at it with anger quickly replaced by trepidation. Something terrible must be going on or Kyle would not have talked to him that way—or have seemed so distraught. If and when I get through this, he’d said. Colby was due at work in thirty minutes but there was no way he could go there now knowing that in Kyle’s words, ’it’s all starting to go down.’ His father and brothers were there too. Something bad was happening and apparently almost everyone he loved was, as Kyle had said the night before, ‘front and center.’ Trying to contain a growing panic, Colby clicked through the numbers on his cell phone directory and punched the County personnel office’s automated sick-call number. “This is Colby Dawson, Chief Mechanic at the School Bus Service Center. I have a family emergency and will need to take a few hours of

204 William Neale personal time.”

111 A good half mile north of the protest site, an MPD car blocked the highway and an officer directed traffic onto the also blocked northbound lanes on the other side of the divided highway. Both sides were closed, forcing traffic to turn at the cutthrough and reverse direction. Colby motioned for the officer to let him cross over to the closed portion so he could park there along with the other long line of vehicles but the cop refused and motioned for him to make the u-turn. Instead, Colby whipped his truck across the grass-covered strip just off the shoulder and onto the parallel access road. He sped away towards Dawson’s Ditch, hoping the cop didn’t chase him down in the thick fog. When he reached the protest site he parked his truck on the narrow road’s shoulder and got out, not sure what to make of the scene that began to materialize through the mist. Three massively sized bulldozers were lined up in a row in the middle of the northbound lanes of US 25E facing the prison site. Colby could see drivers sitting in the cabs on each with their engines running. Occasionally one would rev his machine as though warning everyone that he was itching to move forward. In front of them stood maybe twenty-five Tennessee state troopers standing arms’ lengths apart in a long row in front of the dozers. On the opposite site and also standing arm to arm on the worn grass in front of the ditch were about thirty combined Moorestown Police officers and Moore County deputies. And behind them, on the other side of the ditch, stood several hundred protestors. Many held signs and wore the now familiar signature red shirts and baseball caps with the TAT logo on the front. Television news crews scurried from point to point seeking the optimum viewing position while having no clue about what they were about to record or which angle would provide a superior vantage over their competitors. Caught on the “wrong” side of the ditch, Colby stood behind

son of A Ditch 205 the line of troopers, not sure where to go to stay out of the way yet still mindful of his need to help Kyle. He spied his father and three brothers standing on top of one of the earthen piles behind the ditch, directly in front of where the middle bulldozer was positioned. He hoped they at least had the good sense to get out of the way if indeed the poised vehicle came at them. In what they hoped was perceived as neutral territory, the members of the joint task force stood at the center of the row of local law enforcement officers. Colby tried to make eye contact with Kyle or even Clay or Tag but the atmosphere appeared so tense at the moment that their eyes were focused on and not wavering from those of equally fixed troopers. A very plump and pale man emerged from behind one of the bulldozers. He had white—not gray—hair and wore thick, black-rimmed glasses and a dark business suit. To Colby’s illtimed sense of humor, he thought the man looked amazingly like a cross between the Pillsbury Doughboy and the comedian Drew Carey. He stepped in front of the line of troopers and faced the local police officers and deputies. “Which one of you officers is in charge?” he shouted. His voice sounded shaky, shrill, and even a bit effeminate. And his r-less pronunciation of officesuhs and chahge revealed the deepsouth accent of someone from Mississippi, Alabama, or more likely, Memphis. Larry Grigsby and Harlan McCoy, standing side by side, stepped forward. “We are,” Larry said loudly enough for most of the crowd to hear. “I am Larry Grigsby, Chief of Police in Moorestown and this is Harlan McCoy, Sheriff of Moore County. And who are you?” “I am George Eller, Chief of Staff to Governor Carson Foreman. I am holding a court order requiring that all of these people behind you disperse immediately or face arrest.” “Is that so?” Harlan McCoy answered. “And just who is going to arrest them?” “Well you are. The third district court of the State of

206 William Neale Tennessee requires it.” “May I see the court order, sir?” Eller passed the piece of paper to Sheriff McCoy who held it out so that he and Chief Grigsby could read it at the same time in the still dim light of the misty morning. “This order is directed to Tennesseans Against Tyranny, Mr. Eller,” said Grigsby. “To the best of my knowledge that organization legally consists of only the one man specifically cited in the order, Mr. Cyrus Dawson. We can ask Mr. Dawson to vacate the site and if he refuses, we will arrest him in order to comply with the judge’s order. But I’m afraid he’s the only person or entity your order specifically names.” “You know what the judge intended. You are required to remove all of these people.” “There are no instructions directed specifically to either my department or the sheriff ’s,” Larry replied. “Since it is a state court, I’d say the Tennessee Highway Patrol has jurisdiction here. I’m afraid we are unable to assist you, sir.” “Your job is to enforce the judge’s law.” “No, laws are cited or interpreted by judges and not created by them. There is no law to my knowledge that would require Sheriff McCoy and I to arrest ordinary citizens who have no legal affiliation with Tennesseans Against Tyranny.” “So you’re telling me that both law enforcement agencies here have joined sides with the protestors?” “Most certainly not, sir,” Sheriff McCoy said loudly enough for the television cameras to record. “Our primary mission as law enforcement officers is to serve and protect the citizens who live here. It appears you are about to drive three bulldozers into the middle of a peaceful and constitutionally protected assembly of our citizens and we can’t let you do that.” “That’s bullshit, Sheriff, and you know it,” Eller spoke in a lower tone out of hearing range of the news crews. “The Governor will have all your badges before the end of the day.”

son of A Ditch 207 “Really? And when was the state constitution amended to grant him those extraordinary powers?” Eller raised his voice volume again for all ears. “We are going to take this site one way or another, Sheriff. The Governor has ordered it.” “Then go right ahead and try whatever the Governor has ordered you to do, sir. Be warned that if you attempt to harm our law enforcement officers or our citizens we will be forced to take defensive measures.” “And, Mr. Eller,” Larry added, pointing to the block of TV news cameras. “It will be broadcast all over the state and, depending on how foolish you are, perhaps even the whole country.” “This has to end, gentlemen,” Eller said. “You are siding on the wrong side of the law and there will be serious repercussions. I urge you to talk to your people and tell them their efforts are futile. There will be a prison built on this site. Either work with us now or the next lineup you’ll face will be the Tennessee National Guard.” “You got them waiting over on the other side of the hill, ready to open fire on us, Mr. Eller?” Sheriff McCoy asked. “No, of course not. You know what I mean.” “Then to quote that old movie where the good witch is talking to the wicked witch, ‘Be gone. You have no power here.’” “You’ll find out what kind of power I have. You’re both just a couple of Barney Fife jokes of what professionals are supposed to be.” “Well golly gee, Sheriff,” Larry said to Harlan in an exaggerated hillbilly accent. “Ya think Aunt Bee’s got biscuits and gravy awaitin’ on us when we’re done here?” “Course she does—she’s Aunt Bee.” The two looked at each other and smiled in apparent victory. “Not so fast, smart asses,” Eller shouted over the engine noise. His very white face was flushed pink with obvious anger.

208 William Neale “I have my orders from the governor. When the bulldozers jump this pitiful little trench you’ve dug, people will get out of the way. Drivers!” he shouted to the dozers. “Get ready to move forward on my order.” “Git gone you mother fuckers!” a voice yelled as a rock the size of a golf ball flew from somewhere in the crowd and hit Eller directly on his temple. He slumped to his knees and his hands felt for a hold on the highway pavement as more rocks began landing around him “We’re under attack!” yelled a trooper. “Draw arms, take cover and fire only if fired upon.” “Stop it! We won! Stop it right now!” Larry Grigsby faced the crowd and yelled. “All officers—cross the ditch and get this under control!” The rapid ping of stones hitting the metal of the bulldozers sounded like the kind of angry hail storm that precedes a tornado. Colby wondered where all the rocks were coming from before realizing that people must have earlier filled their pockets with the large limestone gravel from the protest site’s parking lot. As the greatly outnumbered police and sheriff ’s deputies stormed the crowd and rocks whizzed dangerously close to his head, Colby knew he needed to find cover. The nearest safe place was with the troopers behind the bulldozers or farther up where their squad cars were parked. He began to make his way but stopped when he saw the governor’s man now curled in a fetal ball as rocks continued falling on and around him. He seemed either too dazed or too frightened to run away—and nobody had come to his assistance. Colby made a split second decision that somebody had to help the man before he was killed or seriously injured. He began to sprint toward Eller to shield him and pull him to safety. Now between the man and the rocks, Colby—feeling the assault hitting his own body—moved closer and reached for the man’s arms.

son of A Ditch 209 “Stop or I’ll shoot!” a voice yelled. “Colby! Noooo!” he heard Kyle scream more than shout. At first he was confused as to how his forward motion could be stopped in mid-air by some unseen and unanticipated force. Then he felt himself falling backwards. Before everything went dark.

111 Voices without visuals. All around him. Snippets of shouted words and phrases sailing through his ears in rapid-fire sequence. Some made sense, some didn’t. “Colby!” He understood his name but why so loudly? It came from Kyle, emerging through a roar of otherwise sobbing gibberish. Why is he crying? “Oh my God, no!” shouted another familiar voice. His father? “Please, God, help him!” Cy Jr.? No, Cy Jr. ain’t speaking to me. But it sure sounds like him. “Stay with us, Colby! Help’s on the way.” Matt? Yes, Matt’s voice too. Stay where? More nonsensical words, more crying. And how did they get from the dirt pile on the other side of the ditch? “You fucking gun-happy idiot! He was only trying to help me.” Who’s that? “God, I thought—oh God, I’m so sorry!” Another man. He’s crying too. But who? “Colby, can you hear me?” A woman. Soft, slender female fingers pressing on his neck. Others forcing his eyelids to open. Mama? I didn’t know you were here. “Ya’ll clear the goddamned way for the gurney to get through!” she shouted. No, that’s definitely not Mama. “Colby, please don’t leave me, baby!” Kyle crying again. Where am I going? But he called me baby and he’s holding my hand. Maybe he’s not still mad at me. Colby smiled. I’ll cook him a good kiss-and-makeup-dinner tonight. “Everybody, get the hell out of the way. Let us through!”

210 William Neale Clay? “Troopers, quit standing there like fucking idiots and move your goddamned cars out of the way so the ambulance can pull up!” Tag. Yeah, definitely Tag. But he hardly ever cusses. Why is he so pissed? “MPD officers, go to your squad cars now!” another voice shouted above all the other sounds. “I want all streets cleared and major intersections blocked between here and the hospital. Schneider—radio them to have a trauma team waiting.” Can’t breathe. Something pressing over my face. Wait, now I can breathe better. But cold. I’m so cold. Kyle, please hold me so I’m not so cold.

son of A Ditch 211

chAPteR tWenty-thRee Protest Standoff Ends in Melee; “Hero” Shot Attempting Rescue of Governor’s Aide Breaking News—By Jennifer Cerrato, Associated Press reporter MOORESTOWN, TN (AP)—The twenty-two day organized protest of the proposed state prison in Moorestown came to an abrupt halt today when a team of Tennessee State Highway Patrol officers, led by the governor’s chief of staff, George Eller, unsuccessfully attempted to take the site by force. The operation ended when a local resident, Colby Dawson, was critically wounded by a trooper’s gun while shielding Eller from a rock throwing assault by local protesters. A convoy of heavy dirt-moving equipment accompanied by approximately twenty-five Highway Patrol officers arrived at the site on US Highway 25E at seven o’clock this morning. News of the State’s planned assault was apparently leaked prior to the arrival as an estimated five hundred local residents and protesters formed a human barricade across the locally dubbed “Dawson’s Ditch.” Eller presented a court-ordered cease and desist writ to Moorestown Chief of Police Larry Grigsby and Moore County Sheriff Harlan McCoy. Both officials rejected the order as pertaining only to Cyril Dawson, head of Tennesseans Again Tyranny (TAT), saying they could legally remove only Dawson from the site.

212 William Neale When Eller accused that local law enforcement agencies were aiding the protestors, Sheriff McCoy denied the accusation while telling Eller that he would not allow the State to drive bulldozers into an assembly of citizens he was sworn to “serve and protect.” Eller responded by ordering bulldozer operators to drive across the ditch and into the crowd. This resulted in an unknown protester hurling a rock at Eller, hitting him in the head and knocking him to the ground. As additional rocks were thrown from the crowd, State Troopers ran for cover, leaving Eller alone on the ground while greatly outnumbered local police officers tried to disperse and curtail the crowd’s actions. Colby Dawson, son of protest leader Cyril Dawson, attempted to shield and pull Eller to safety but in the process was shot by Tennessee State Trooper Christopher Morain. The twenty-two yearold first-year trooper said he mistook Dawson’s action as a threat to Eller, despite having received a no-fire order just seconds earlier. “Mr. Dawson is a hero,” said Eller. “When all of the troopers ran for cover, he was the only person who came to my assistance. I will be forever grateful to him and I hope and pray that he will both survive and have a full and complete recovery. Both the Governor and I are deeply moved by his bravery and decency.” Trooper Morain was relieved of his duties and placed on administrative leave pending a formal inquiry. Grigsby said Morain’s actions were “inexcusably negligent and reactionary” and called for his dismissal. “Mr. Dawson showed far more courage than any of the state troopers. He was not armed and made no threatening movements. He was clearly placing himself between Eller and the line of fire from the crowd when Morain shot him.” Grigsby has also asked the several television

son of A Ditch 213 news crews in attendance for copies of their video footage to attempt identification of persons in the crowd who threw rocks. “We will find and arrest every single one of them,” he said. TAT head Cyril Dawson addressed reporters at a brief hospital news conference and said that he will end his organization’s protest of the planned prison. “My son means far more to me than anything the State wishes to inflict upon our community. Had I not so stubbornly pursued this protest effort, he would not be fighting for his life as we speak. His mother, his brothers, his beloved partner Kyle, and I all ask for everyone’s prayers that he survive this senseless and needless act of police brutality against an unarmed and innocent man.” Moorestown Mayor Calvin Simpson, who was not present at this morning’s incident, renewed his call to the state legislature to abandon the plan to locate the prison in Moorestown. “How much more blood must be shed at the hands of a corrupt and incompetent governor and his administration? His actions defy rational explanation. He issued an order to send bulldozers directly into a constitutionally protected assembly of Tennessee citizens.” Governor Foreman’s press secretary, Ernie Hawkins, addressed reporters at a mid-morning press conference in Nashville. “The Governor first wants to express his deep concern for the condition of Colby Dawson and he and Mrs. Foreman are praying for his survival and recovery. The Governor also promises that a full investigation will be launched into this reckless and ill-advised attempt by the Tennessee Highway Patrol to end the illegal protest.” Hawkins had no comment when asked why the governor’s chief of staff was apparently in charge of the on-site operation. Democratic Speaker of the House Lamont Belfry told reporters he intends to support Republicanintroduced legislation to end plans to locate the

214 William Neale prison in Moorestown. “Enough is enough,” he said. “When the governor of this state attempts to run over its own citizens with bulldozers, it is time to question the competence of the man in charge. There will be no prison built in Moorestown and I intend to launch a full investigation into the Governor’s involvement in this mess.” Colby Dawson was still in surgery at Moorestown General Hospital when this story was filed. A hospital spokesman would only comment that his condition was “critical.”

Also contributing to this story was Alex McKinney of the Moorestown Daily Gazette & Mail.

111 The waiting room outside of the Intensive Care Unit at Moorestown General looked like most hospital waiting rooms with its limestone gray terrazzo floor and equally sterile vinylcovered furniture. A faint whiff of disinfectant hovered in the air and the obligatory ceiling-mounted television flashed a soundmuted CNN twenty-four hours a day. For those not inclined to read the screen’s closed captioning, worn, flop-eared, and outof-date issues of People Magazine and Newsweek lay scattered on mauve Formica-surfaced lamp tables. At full capacity the room could seat fourteen people and today all seats were taken. Kyle sat in the chair closest to the ICU door. He stared fixedly at it except for occasional bouts of tears that wet the sleeve of his father’s tan uniform shirt. Harlan rested his arm on the seatback behind Kyle’s broad shoulders, squeezing him closer during Kyle’s more emotional moments. He couldn’t help recalling that the last time he had held Kyle this way was at Nell’s funeral when it was far more important to comfort and protect his son than to yield to his own grief. Irene, seated next to her fiancé, appeared awkwardly unsure of whether she should help comfort Kyle or even be there at all. She was fully cognizant that she was the reason Kyle had moved

son of A Ditch 215 out of his father’s house. Yet, Kyle would soon be her stepson and, she thought wryly, Colby, her son-in-law—if he survived. Colby’s immediate family filled most of the room, missing just daughter-in-law Karen, who had volunteered to stay at home and babysit all the others’ children. Cy and Ruth sat together. They held hands, occasionally speaking to each other with words mostly inaudible to the rest of the room. Their stoic demeanor suggested a calm impassiveness that, unspoken, was clearly the directive for the entire family. They, for the most part, stared silently at news footage of Colby’s shooting now playing repeatedly on CNN. “How can they keep watching that?” Clay whispered to Tag as they left for the cafeteria to get the family another round of coffee, tea, and soft drinks. “It rips my heart out every time they show him getting shot.” “I don’t know,” Tag said, shaking his head. “I can’t watch it—I have to look away. You’d think at least one of those Dawsons would get upset about it. But they’re all just sitting there like robots.” “Nah, I think they’re just all too damn proud to let anybody see ’em crying in public.” “Unlike poor Kyle. He’s taking this really hard.” “No worse than I’d be acting if it was you in there.” “Let’s hope neither of us ever have to find out.”

111 Cy Dawson was the first to break the family’s silence. “Kyle— son, I know you’re upset.” He spoke in a slow, dulcet tone that belied his usual brashness.. “We’re all upset. But you’re acting like he’s already dead. Have hope and think positively. That’ll help our boy more than crying.” “You don’t understand. I said terrible things to him the last time we spoke. I accused him of leaking information to you and then lying about it.” “What information?”

216 William Neale “About what the state was planning to do this morning.” “Kyle, he didn’t tell me anything. I got a call last night from what you’d call a high placed source.” “Oh, God—that’s what Colby thought probably happened but I didn’t believe him.” He wiped more tears from his eyes. “We talked on the phone this morning right before this whole thing started and—” he choked up, “I hung up on him.” “Was that after we jumped all over you in accusing him?” Clay asked. “Yeah,” Kyle responded. “We had no right. We were totally out of line. God—I’m so sorry, Kyle.” “We were total jerks to treat you like that,” said Tag. “We were just overwhelmed with the surprise crowd right then. But that doesn’t justify what we said to you. I am so sorry, buddy.” “My call had to be the reason why he even came there in the first place. If I hadn’t done that, he would have gone on to work and he’d be safe. It’s all my fault.” “No, Kyle. Blame us, not yourself,” Tag offered. “It doesn’t matter, guys, but thanks. The damage is done. I as much as called him a liar. Oh, God—if he doesn’t make it—that will have been the last thing I ever said to him.” He surrendered to another outburst of sobs and again buried his head on his father’s shoulder as Irene gently patted his back. “That’s quite enough, Kyle McCoy,” Ruth Dawson interrupted. “Harlan, get up and switch places with me.” Harlan removed his arm and silently obeyed Ruth’s order. She, the mother who had a reputation for crying every time a leaf fell—as Cy liked to describe her—had yet to shed a tear. She sat down beside him and put both hands on his shoulders, forcing him to turn in his chair to face her. “Now you listen to me. You love my son don’t you?” “Yes ma’am, very much,” Kyle sniffled.

son of A Ditch 217 “Then start acting like it. Love is what feeds miracles, not self pity. You’re sitting there indulging your own guilt trip when instead you ought to be sending Colby all your positive energy. I raised four very active boys and have sat in this hospital’s waiting rooms more times than I can recall. I know I cry a lot at little things but I learned early on that tears don’t help you get through the big worries. Prayer, hope, and faith are what give you strength and I believe with all my heart that Colby’s gonna be just fine.” She opened her purse and pulled out a handkerchief. “Now I’m gonna dry off these tears and I better not see one more drop running down that good looking face of yours. You got that?” She dabbed his face as though she were cleaning smudges off the face of a six year-old. “Yes ma’am. Thank you.” “Good. Now give your mama-in-law a big ole hug.” Kyle allowed himself to be cocooned in Ruth Dawson’s comparatively tiny arms, the first time a mother-figure had held him like this since before his own had died. She even smelled sweet like his mother and for a moment he thought he would cry yet again. But instead, he felt her strength and resolve and steadied himself into the same frame of mind. Colby was going to make it. He had to make it. They deserved a life together and, by damn, Kyle would will it so.

111 “Excuse me, folks, but could I please speak with Colby Dawson’s next of kin?” The tall woman dressed in scrubs had a serious look on her face. “Oh, please no!” Matt’s wife Mary Alice cried out. “No! God, no!” Kyle shouted. “No, no, please!—Please calm down—I’m sorry to frighten you,” the woman said. “Colby’s going to be fine. But with privacy laws, as his surgeon I can only discuss his condition with his next of kin.” “His mother and I are his next of kin,” said Cy. “But you can

218 William Neale say to all of us what you would say to Ruth and me. Screw the damn laws.” She smiled. “Okay, screw the damn laws. I’m sorry it has taken so long in surgery but in gunshot wound situations, I have to be very meticulous in making sure anything the bullet nicked or punctured is found and repaired. Colby was shot three times on his right side. The first wound is to his deltoid muscle, or shoulder, and the second bullet lodged in his rectus femoris. Those two bullets only penetrated muscle mass.” “Rectus femoris, muscle mass. You saying he was shot in the ass?” Cy asked. “Cy, hush!” Ruth chided. “No sir,” she smiled. “I’m sorry, it’s been a long day. I should have said thigh muscle. You’ve heard the expression ‘hard body’? Well because Colby is young and has such a well developed physique, his muscles effectively absorbed the impact of those two bullets. He’ll be really sore for a while, but both these wounds should heal fairly quickly along with some physical therapy.” “Oh thank goodness,” Ruth said. “But you said he was shot three times.” “The third bullet entered his right latissimus dorsi and lodged between his liver and his kidney.” “What’s the latissimus dorsi?” Cy asked. “On you, we’d call it love handles, Dad,” Matt said dryly. The surgeon smiled again. “Somehow, it managed to miss both major organs so on that count he was very lucky. But it did sever an artery and he sustained quite a bit of internal bleeding. At one point his blood pressure was at a dangerously low level. It’s a very good thing the Rescue Squad was already there and able to get him here as quickly as they did. We never know for sure in cases like this but their rapid response is probably what saved his life.” “Thank God for Annie and her EMT’s,” Cy said. “Ruth, we need to make a good contribution to thank them.”

son of A Ditch 219 “Anyhow, the things we need to watch for carefully on this wound are infection and for any re-start of the internal bleeding. I spent a lot of time making sure the sutures were holding before I closed him up so he should be fine. But he will need complete bed rest for a couple of weeks and even then must be very careful about over-exerting himself until everything is healed. But all in all, Colby is one very lucky guy. Not too many people could take three bullet wounds and still be in relatively good shape. He should make a full recovery, albeit a few battle scars he can show his grandkids one day. He’s awake now and surprisingly alert and in good spirits. We have him on a strong pain medication so that’s helping. But he’s a remarkably resilient man considering what he’s gone through today.” “Thank the Lord and thank you, ma’am. Thank you so much,” Ruth said. “When can I see him?” Kyle asked. “Are you his brother?” “No ma’am, I’m his partner.” “I’m afraid only close relatives can see him right now. Even those visits need to be brief.” “You don’t understand. He’s like my husband. I need to see him.” “I’m sorry, sir, but unless you have a medical power of attorney, I can’t break hospital rules.” “Yes ma’am, maybe you can,” said Cy Jr. They were the first words he had spoken since arriving. “I mean no disrespect because you’re just following policy; but if my wife were in there you would let me in without question. I don’t see how this is any different. This man has been bawling his eyes out with worry over my brother. They love each other as much as any legally married couple ever could. There are times when the rules are just plain wrong and this is one of them.” The doctor looked at Cy Jr., then Kyle, then Cy again before her posture and her expression visibly relaxed. “You know what? You’re right. My brother’s gay and if he were in this situation I’d

220 William Neale be storming the door and taking no prisoners. Come with me, sir,” she motioned to Kyle. “But you can only have ten minutes max. We expect to move him out of Intensive Care and into a room very soon.” “Cy,” his father spoke after Kyle and the doctor exited through the swinging doors, “there may be hope for you yet.”

111 “Hey, sweetheart.” Kyle gently took Colby’s hand as though it were a fragile piece of porcelain. He tried to smile while not successfully holding back more tears as he saw and heard all the machines hooked up to Colby’s body. “Hey, handsome,” Colby replied in a scratchy voice. “Are you my stud nurse here to give me a sexy sponge bath?” “Yeah, but I think the happy ending might have to wait a while. God, Cole. I’ve worried and prayed so much. I—uh—” Kyle struggled to finish the sentence. “Hey, stop that. Save the tears for the funeral.” Kyle gave him a look that, figuratively, could cause such an event. “Don’t you even joke about that.” “Come on—smile. I feel fine, just kind of weak ’cause they said I lost a lot of blood. But look on the bright side, they said I have lots of joy juice in my IV so I might as well enjoy the ride.” “Cole, I’m so sorry for the phone call this morning. I was totally wrong to accuse you. I think the Mayor tipped off your dad just like you said. I feel like such a total asshole for accusing you and treating you so unfairly.” “Feeling guilty, are we? Now how can I leverage that? Let me think. Sponge baths with happy endings for the next month?” Kyle chuckled. “You are enjoying the ride, aren’t you?” He turned serious again. “If this had turned out worse, I would have never forgiven myself. I’m so sorry and I hope you can forgive me. You want sponge baths with happy endings for a month? How about six months? Or better yet, six years?”

son of A Ditch 221 “Your offer is tempting but let’s talk about your guilt. Come on, babe. What else could you have thought? You were way stressed. I’d say even under duress. And I was scared with worry about you. That’s why I called off work and came to the site. I needed to make sure you were okay.” “God, how I love you. You should have been major pissed at me and instead you came to check on me.” “I think that’s what love is supposed to be.” “What love is supposed to be is you and me, out of this hospital, lying on a beach somewhere, both wearing each other’s rings forever. I promise you, Cole. As soon as you get better, that’s where we’re going. I came close to losing you today and I swear to God, I’m never going to let another day go by without making sure you know how much I love you. If you had died, I would have too.” “Yeah? Sounds like you just read me the badly written ending to some sappy chick flick.” it.”

Kyle grinned. “Stop it. You feel the same way and you know

“That I do, for sure. You’re the best meat loaf special I ever ordered. And did I mention how much I love eating your meat?” Now Kyle laughed. “That’s the sweetest thing you ever said to me.” “I got a million of ‘em. And I’ll be here all week at the Flying High Celebrity Lounge.” “Can I kiss the very high comedian?” “Didn’t I tell you? That’s the price of your ticket.”

chAPteR tWenty-fouR “Charlie, that’s wonderful news,” Calvin Simpson said into the phone after hearing that leaders of both parties in the Tennessee Senate and House of Representatives had announced their support for locating the new prison in Erwin. “I knew you’d come through.” “No, to tell you the truth, I didn’t have the Democrats’ support until the Governor’s stupid stunt with those bulldozers. And having the son of the protest organizer save the Governor’s chief of staff at the risk of his own life? Well, as the credit card commercial says, ‘priceless.’ How’s young Dawson doing, by the way?” “Cy tells me he’s gonna make it and should fully recover. I’m gonna go over to the hospital in a little bit and visit him. You know how Cy and me have been friends forever so it’s as much for him as it is just doing what a mayor does.” “Well, I gotta hand it to you, Cal. Way back when we were trying to get the college you told me that there would never be a prison built in Moorestown and you were right.” “Yeah, I’d like to take credit for stopping it but as much as I hate to admit it, if it hadn’t been for Cy and his money and damn stubbornness, the prison would already be under construction.” “All that matters is the final outcome and once again, you won. And from what I’m hearing in Nashville, the way you stood up to Foreman and basically cleaned his clock has got a lot of people thinking you’re now the favorite for the Republican nomination.” “Well, like I always say, Charlie, multiple goals should never be mutually exclusive.”

111 “So where’s the fire marshal when you need him?” Colby said from his hospital bed the morning following his shooting.

224 William Neale “Why’s that?” Kyle said, seated on the edge Colby’s bed and holding his hand. Having spent the night in Colby’s room, he still wore the same uniform from the previous day complete with wrinkles on wrinkles, sweat stains, and a two-day beard stubble. “Because we must be exceeding the maximum limit of people allowed in one room at a time.” “Is it too much for you, Colby?” asked his father. “You want us all to leave?” “Hell no, the more the merrier as long as they keep giving me happy pills.” He grinned across the room that included his parents, Matt, Mary Alice, Clay, and Tag. “Hey did somebody call my boss and tell him I won’t be at work for a day or two?” “A day or two?” Cy laughed. “I think he already knows, son. Everybody in the state and half the rest of the country knows what you did yesterday. It’s all over the news. We watched you on CNN in the waiting room while you were still in surgery.” “I hear it’s gone viral on the Internet too,” Matt said. “It’s not often people can see a hero in action getting shot three times.” “And as soon as he’s better, I’m gonna whack him two sides of silly for doing something that stupid,” Kyle said. “What was I supposed to do? Stand there and let those idiots stone him to death like it was some village in Afghanistan?” “We had it under control,” said Kyle. “They were stopping. Weren’t they, Clay?” “Kyle, I suggest you drop it. Colby did what none of us had the presence of mind to do. Instead of helping that poor man to safety we were all trying to stop the rock throwers.” “That because the State Troopers should have had Eller’s back,” Kyle countered. “So you still wanna whack me, Kylie?” Colby teased. “No, I wanna whack the trigger happy trooper who shot you.” “He’s back again this morning down in the waiting room, you

son of A Ditch 225 know,” Ruth said. “I feel so sorry for him. He feels awful about it. I think he wants to tell you that, Colby.” “Really?” Colby asked. “Why didn’t you guys let me know that? Would somebody please go get him?” “Are you sure you’re up to that?” Kyle asked. “He’s the man who shot you.” “I know that. If he’s been waiting all this time, he’s obviously concerned and must be beating himself up pretty bad. Please bring him up.” “Then I think that’s a good cue for the family to clear out of here,” said Cy. “Ruth, you and Colby may not mind talking to that trooper but I am not so forgiving. C’mon, ya’ll. Let’s go.”

111 “Colby, this is Chris Morain,” said Tag, who had escorted the young state trooper to Colby’s room. Besides them, only Clay and Kyle now remained there. “Mr. Dawson, I don’t know how to begin to tell you how sorry I am.” The twenty-something officer had obviously been crying and his voice was hoarse. “First, it’s Colby. Second, you don’t owe me an apology. You did what you thought was necessary to protect the Governor’s man.” “But I got it terribly wrong. Everybody else there knew you were just trying to help him and we had been ordered to hold our fire unless fired upon. In the heat of the moment I just saw you running at him and I thought you were attacking.” “Which I understand. You thought you were just doing your job. You made a mistake and you admitted it. So I got no hard feelings, okay?” “But you have every right to. Again, I just feel awful about what I did, sir.” “Chris, you literally jumped the gun. But if I thought you did it maliciously I wouldn’t be so forgiving. You learned a big lesson

226 William Neale yesterday and I hope it’ll help you become a better trooper going forward.” “I doubt there’ll be a going forward, sir. They’ve told me I’ll probably lose my job over this.” “Tag, are those reporters still camped out downstairs?” “Yeah, especially since they saw Chris arrive. They’re all dying to interview him.” “Would you mind going to get them and bring them up?” “What the hell are you doing?” Kyle asked. Colby smiled at Chris and turned to Kyle. “Chris here had the class and the balls to come here and look me in the eye. I think that was a very brave and decent thing to do so I’m gonna return the favor. Hey Tag, don’t ask the nurses’ permission or they won’t let them in. We can always ask for forgiveness later.” Moments later Colby’s room was packed with reporters and TV news crews. Colby asked Chris to stand next to his bed. “Ya’ll ready for my statement? Okay, first off, I’m doing fine and I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers that have been sent my way. I’m very lucky to live in Moorestown where we have a great rescue squad and equally competent and caring doctors and nurses here at Moorestown General. Second, I hope the yahoos who threw rocks at the troopers yesterday morning are arrested and charged. They make me ashamed to be from Moorestown.” “But the main thing I want to say is that I think what Trooper Morain here did yesterday needs to be put into proper perspective. First, he came here today and had the courage to look me in the eye and apologize. And I accepted his apology.” “Second, he had no way of knowing I was trying to help Mr. Eller and from his position it probably did look like I was attacking the man. Everybody was under duress and everybody makes mistakes. I think Chris has learned from his,” Colby said directly to the cameras. “I believe he deserves a second chance and will one day be an outstanding Tennessee State Trooper. All I ask, Chris,” Colby turned and smiled, “is that the first time you

son of A Ditch 227 pull me over for speeding, you’ll let me off with just a warning.” The whole room of people erupted into laughter. “And to the Highway Patrol people in charge, I want you to know that every one of your other brave Troopers there ran for cover as soon as the first rocks were thrown. They left Mr. Eller on the ground to fend for himself. Only Trooper Morain stood up and came to Mr. Eller’s defense. He may have gotten it wrong, but at least he did something. Ya’ll better think about that before you start looking for a scapegoat.” “And finally, in my opinion, if we’re going to assign blame for what happened yesterday, then find out whoever from the State made the decision to run over Tennessee citizens with bulldozers. For goodness sake, people. This is America, not Tiananmen Square.”

111 “How ya doing, babe? You holding up?” Kyle asked Colby. Some really pissed off nurses had ordered the news media out of the room, leaving just Kyle, Tag, and Clay. “Well, maybe I’m starting to get a little tired. I think the happy pill is wearing off some.” “You in any pain?” “Yeah, kind of a dull throb all over. But it’s not too terrible at this point.” “Colby, there’s one more person downstairs who’s been waiting for quite a while,” said Tag. “Says he works for you. His name is Randy something.” “Why would he come to see me? We’re not all that close. In fact I put him on probation.” “Why don’t you ask him to come back another time, Tag?” Kyle said. “I think our guy here is fading pretty fast. I don’t like his color either. I think he’s had way too much action for one morning.” “No, I’m okay. If he’s been waiting a long time I don’t want to

228 William Neale send him away. Would you mind, Tag?” A few minutes later Tag came through the door with Colby’s lead mechanic. “Randy, thanks for coming, man. I appreciate it.” “We saw what happened on the TV in the break room and were real scared that you wouldn’t make it. You’ll probably be mad but that’s about all we did yesterday. We were all real worried about you.” “Thanks, Randy. That means a lot to me. Tell everybody I’ll be back riding their asses again before they know it.” “That’s what I wanted to tell you. We all talked. We’re gonna bust our asses to get one hundred percent of the buses ready for the start of school in time. Yeah, you’re tough on us but you really care about what we do and you made us think about the fact that we’re not so much maintaining buses as we are keeping kids safe. I know I probably deserved to be fired for my lousy attitude but despite that you took the time to teach me more in just a few months than I’ve learned since I started there. We’re not gonna let you down, Colby. I promise that.” “Man, you don’t know how much that puts my mind at ease. That was my biggest worry about all this—that we wouldn’t get all the buses ready in time. Thanks, Randy.” “Besides we all expect you to deliver on that steak dinner you promised us.” “That you can count on, buddy.” “Uh—Randy,” Kyle said. “Thanks for coming but I think Colby needs to get some rest now. I’m gonna clear everybody out of here in a few.” “Okay. There’s just one more thing I wanted to tell you if that’s okay.” “You go right ahead.” “I kind of feel responsible for what happened to you and I just wanted to apologize and tell you I never thought it would come to this.”

son of A Ditch 229 “Why’s that? You had nothing to do with any of this.”

“I’m the one who dug Dawson’s Ditch.”

“What are you talking about?”

“My brother works for Dawson Construction. Your dad was

looking for somebody who would dig the ditch at night who wasn’t an employee. My brother knew how much I needed the money so he had Mr. Dawson call me.” “So that’s how he got it done. But Randy, if you hadn’t dug it somebody else would have. You don’t know my dad. He’s used to getting his way about most things.” “Maybe. But I know I could have gone to jail over it. Maybe still could. I wish I hadn’t done it now but what Mr. Dawson paid me was enough to get us caught up on our mortgage payments and to put a little into savings. Before that, the bank was threatening to foreclose and me and my wife and kids would have had nowhere else to go.” “How much is the County paying you, Randy?” “Twelve dollars an hour. But that’s okay because we have really good insurance with the County. I got three kids and seems like one of ‘em is always sick with something. As soon as our youngest starts school, my wife’s gonna find a job too.” “So you’re working as a certified master mechanic but making only twelve dollars an hour? That ain’t right. When I get out of here I’ll see what I can do to get you a raise. I’ll look into what the other guys are making as well. Okay?” “That wasn’t why I came here, Colby.” “Yeah, I know that. Just do me a favor, okay?” “Sure.” “Next time my father calls, you tell him to go take a deep dive into Cherokee Lake.” Randy grinned. “That’s advice I’d already given myself.”

111 Kyle gingerly lay down beside Colby on the side opposite

230 William Neale his wounds. He carefully lifted then cradled Colby’s head in the crook of his arm and tenderly kissed his head. “Your latest pill ought to kick in soon, baby. I want you to relax and just let it take over, okay? I’ll be here when you wake up.” “Feels nice you holding me like this … finally just you and me,” Colby said tiredly. “But hon, you really need a shower and a uniform change. Not that I’m complaining.” “I know. I’ll go as soon as I know you’re safe in la-la land.” “Damn, what a past couple of days, huh?” “It was both the worst and the best time of my life.” “Why’s that?” “Well you know why it was the worst. I almost lost you. I don’t know what—I—uh—would have done if—uh—” “Don’t start crying again. Enough tears, okay? Tell me why it was the best day.” Kyle took a deep breath to compose himself. “Because instead of taking you, God gave you back to me. The thoughts of losing you made me understand just how much I need you and love you. I know we’ve only been together for a few months but I also count all the years we spent together as kids. We were always close even then. Maybe on some level we loved each other but just didn’t recognize what it really was.” “You getting sappy on me again, McCoy?” “I sure as shit am and I ain’t apologizing for it. I love you Colby Dawson.” Colby yawned and closed his eyes. “I think I must be the luckiest guy ever. You and me, Kylie. On that beach like you said.” His voice became hardly more than a mumble. “Gold rings on our fingers … yeah, so nice … just like you promised.” “Sleep well, my baby. You know I always keep my promises.”

chAPteR tWenty-five “Is this the room of the world famous hero?”

“Gregg! What are you doing here?”

“How could I not be here? I saw what you did on TV. It’s

been all over the news. And I’ve worried myself sick that you were okay.” “Okay,” Colby said measuredly. “But that was over a week ago. You worried that long before deciding to drive down?” “Actually I flew into Knoxville and rented a car. QUE is paying for it. So how are you feeling?” “Gregg, this is just too weird. Why are you really here?” “Because I had to see you. Besides being worried about you, I’ve missed you so badly. I know I screwed up big time and ruined our chances for a future together. But that doesn’t mean I still don’t have hope that we could find a way to patch things up. I’ve stopped drinking, I’m in counseling for my sexual addiction, and I’ve been celibate since that day when—well you know.” “That’s great news, Gregg. I’m glad for you and I hope you can keep it up. But as for patching up things, it’s not going to happen. I’m in a real tight relationship now.” “Yeah, I knew that. Your father called him your ‘beloved partner’ in his press conference. Kyle, right?” “Yes, Kyle McCoy. He’s a deputy sheriff here. I’ve known him since we were little kids.” “Which is probably why it was so easy to rebound with him. Isn’t that what happened? You were so upset with me you went to the first open arms you could find?” “Don’t flatter yourself, Gregg. If anything, your memory kept me from Kyle’s arms a long longer than should have happened. You fucked up my ability to trust and believe again and it took Kyle’s patience and love to finally make me see that what you

232 William Neale and I had was something I’ll just have to chalk up to a learning experience.” “I’m so sorry. I wish I could go back in time and do things over.” “I think we all do, Gregg. I know I would do a lot of things differently.” “Like choose not to go home with me that first night we met?” “Maybe. Although spending that night just talking with you was one of the better nights we ever spent.” “But you’re saying if you could go back and do things over, you would not have let me in your life?” “Gregg, we can’t go back and re-do things so it’s pointless to even think about it. I appreciate you coming to see me but there’s nothing left to salvage between you and me.” “Yeah, I figured that’s what you’d say. Again, I am sorry I hurt you. I loved you. I still love you. I never meant for things to turn out the way they did.” “I understand. No, I take that back. I don’t understand. But at this point, none of it matters. I’ve moved on.” “Then I guess I’ll just have to accept that. But I hope we can at least still be friends.” “Isn’t that a pretty tired old break-up line? I mean, come on Gregg. Now that I’m away from you I realize that most of our relationship was based on sex. We really don’t have much in common beyond that. And frankly, I didn’t much like your friends either. Until recently, I thought it was mostly my fault— that I wasn’t college educated and sophisticated like they were. Now, I just see them as sort of pathetic, negative people who use their supposed intellects as weapons to make other people feel inferior. At the end of the day, they were all sort of sad and miserable to me.” “Don’t you think that’s kind of judgmental?” “Sure it is. And you know what? It’s my judgment that counts

son of A Ditch 233 now.” “Colby, I didn’t come here to argue with you. I’m really sorry you feel that way. But actually, I do have another reason for being here.” “And why does that not surprise me?” “Colby, you’re a hero. If you would consider coming out to the world as a gay hero, think what that would do for young gays everywhere. They would have a role model. A really good one, if I may say so.” “My father has already outed me.” “Yes, but you have an opportunity to use your celebrity now for good. QUE would get behind you and turn you into an agent for change. A gay war veteran whom the straight world will view as masculine, moral, and brave. And, it doesn’t hurt that you’re also drop-dead handsome and articulate as hell in front of the TV cameras. Although you’re kind of pale right now. We would need to get you to a tanning salon and—” “Stop it, Gregg. That’s the only reason you came here, isn’t it? That’s why QUE paid for you to fly here, right? It’s not at all about ‘patching things up.’ It’s still about your damn agenda. Well forget it. I’m not a hero and I’m not going to be your spraytanned poster boy. Go back to D.C. and find somebody else to manipulate.” “But Colby, don’t you see how much good you could do? I’m not asking for me; I’m asking for all the gay and lesbian teenagers who desperately need strong role models.” “Save it for somebody who doesn’t know better, Gregg. This is about trying to mainstream QUE’s image. Your stunts have offended so many people your funding has dried up. Isn’t that right? You guys don’t give a shit about anything beyond convincing rich liberals to give you money.” “If we don’t have funding, our greater mission can never be met.” “Gregg, the answer is no. Go back to D.C. and leave me alone.

234 William Neale And by the way, if you’ve really stopped drinking the way you say you have, then why are you still leaving me voice mail messages at two in the morning where your words are so slurred I can’t understand half of what you’re saying?” “I’m sorry. I guess I just get lonely and miss you.” “So you’re saying you are sober when you call?” “Colby, to be honest, I don’t remember making any of those calls.” “Then that’s the first truthful thing you’ve said to me. Get some help, Gregg. Do it for yourself before you fuck up your life even more than you already have. Now if you don’t mind, please go. I still get tired real easily and I’m not feeling too well now.” “I’m sorry it’s ending this way, Colby.” “No, Gregg, it ended the day I came home from work early.”

111 Kyle opened the packed-full refrigerator and surveyed the smorgasbord of Tupperware containers, many of which he had still not opened. The ongoing feast began three days after Colby was shot when a cranky and—in his words “smothered”—Colby insisted Kyle go back to work and to their apartment and not spend every waking moment at Colby’s bedside. Kyle also suspected Colby had put into motion what followed. First Ruth showed up with a large Belk Department Store shopping bag filled with food containers and baked goods. An hour later, Irene arrived carrying a similar quantity. He couldn’t help but smile yet again at the irony that he was eating better with Colby gone than when Colby had done the cooking. It was as though Kyle had gone from having no mother to suddenly having two. And, as they kept visiting with more, he was so touched and so appreciative, he didn’t have the heart to tell either one that he was overwhelmed with more than he could possibly eat. He had, in fact, shared some of the excess with grateful neighbors. Colby had been hospitalized now for eleven days and was

son of A Ditch 235 healing even faster than the doctors thought he might. There was a good chance he’d get to come home on day twelve and Kyle couldn’t wait. Sure, he was visiting Colby every evening after work and they were exchanging frequent calls, texts and e-mails. But just having him back home and being able to feel and smell him and cuddle without interruptions or the occasional silently disapproving nurse’s eyes would be wonderful. The doorbell rang. He shut the refrigerator and went to the door thinking it was probably another visit from one of his surrogate mothers. It was unusual for them not to call first, though. “Wes. I told you to stay away from me.” “Kyle, could I please come in for just a minute?” “No. Am I gonna have to arrest you for stalking?” “Kyle, please,” he said tiredly. “I’m not stalking you. I’m in a real bad place right now and there are some important things I need to tell you. Please don’t make me stand out in your hall and beg.” “All right, come on in. But only for a minute. I was just about to have dinner.” “Thank you, Kyle.” “Have a seat and tell me what’s going on. Don’t take this the wrong way but you really don’t look too good right now. Are you sick?” “Not physically. But that’s not why I’m here. I need to apologize to you and try and clear my conscience some. “Okay,” Kyle said haltingly. “I’m listening.” “I look back at how I treated you all those years and realize how unfair and one-sided our relationship was to you. You were right. From your perspective, I really did just use you for sex. Even though that’s not what I intended or not at all how I felt about you. I swear I never thought of you as some whore I had on the side. When you said that it broke my heart. I am so sorry I made you feel that way. Colby, the God’s truth is that I lived for

236 William Neale our meetings. They were the only things in my life I really looked forward to, and I also believe they were the only things keeping me sane.” Kyle exhaled a long whoosh of breath. “ I never knew that.” He rubbed his forehead, considering his next words. “I wish you had told me that a long time ago but hearing it, how can I not accept your apology? But I’m curious why you’re offering it now.” “It finally got through my stupid head that I could have had the love of my life in you if I hadn’t been so afraid of coming out. I thought I was doing the right thing by sticking with my wife and kids but all I did was make our lives miserable. They deserved a whole lot better husband and father than the one they got. And now I’ve made things even worse. Karen left me today. Took the kids and they’ve gone up to her parents house in Virginia.” “Did she find out about your boyfriend?” “No—well, now she knows—but it’s a moot fact. He and I are no longer together.” “I’m sorry about that. Some relationships were just never meant to be. But you’ll find somebody else.” “No, there won’t be any others. With Charlie I stupidly let myself believe I had a second chance to get things right. But in my mind, I pretended he was you and I said and did all the sweet tender things I wished I had expressed with you. I fell in love with a fantasy and Charlie fell in love with me. I had to break it off before things went any farther. Unfortunately, he didn’t take it too well and caused me a lot of problems. But I don’t blame him. I got what I deserved.” “That’s too bad, Wes. It sounds like you’re going through a real rough stretch. But now that your secret is out, it doesn’t have to be so bad. You probably saw where Cy Dawson outed me and Colby when he called me Colby’s “beloved partner” at his press conference. I got a few comments and snickers from friends and the other deputies but you’d be amazed how most of ’em thought me being gay was no big deal. Hell, a few even told me they had suspected it since I never had a steady girlfriend. I found

son of A Ditch 237 out most of my friends really were my friends and the ones who weren’t? That’s their small-minded problem, not mine.” “I’m a P.E. teacher and a wrestling coach and as of today I’m neither of those anymore. What parents are going to let their son be in a locker room with me?” “Did you quit your job?” “I might as well have but it’s more complicated than that. I don’t really want to talk about it right now.” “Okay. But coaching isn’t the only thing you can do. Maybe it’s time to reinvent yourself. Start a new life. Maybe even move to a bigger city where there are a lot more openly gay people. You could teach someplace where gays are protected by anti­ discrimination policies.” “No, unfortunately it’s too late for that and I need to be going. I just wanted to see you tonight and tell you how sorry I am. If I could go back in time, I would do things a whole lot differently.” Wes looked so sad and dejected Kyle thought about hugging him—but he held back. The man was clearly in a very vulnerable space and Kyle didn’t want to send the wrong signals. “Then don’t look back, Wes. Focus on building a better future. You’re still young and in great physical shape. You’re head-turning handsome and when you let down your guard and just be yourself, you’re really a nice, funny, and interesting guy. You just need to have some hope and faith that things will get better.” “You think? Well thanks for saying that. I’m glad one person still thinks I have reason to hope. But,” he said as he stood, “knowing that you forgive me means the world to me. My heart is smiling right now. Thank you.” “Wes, think about what I said,” Kyle added as he walked him to the door. “Listen, if you need somebody to talk to sometimes, I’ll be your friend, okay? And so will Colby. I know he’ll be glad to help. He’s really smart and a very good listener and both of us will help you through this if you’ll let us.”

238 William Neale “That’s really kind of you to offer. But I’m not surprised. Colby is the luckiest guy in the world and I truly couldn’t be happier for you. I know that sounds hard to believe but I finally learned that when you really love somebody, you just want them to be happy.” “That’s a beautiful thing to say. And see? It’s not so hard to show your feelings. Please think about all I said, okay?” Wes stood in the open door and extended his right hand. “Okay, I’ll give it some thought. Thanks for putting up with me tonight. You take care and have a very happy and long life with Colby, all right?” “C’mere, Wes. I can’t let you go without a hug.”

chAPteR tWenty-six Kyle walked into Colby’s hospital room and found him already dressed, his small carry-on bag packed and placed on the nowstripped hospital bed. “Hey look at you all ready to go. What happened to that mountain of flowers you had in here?” “I asked the nurses to put ’em in rooms of patients that didn’t have any.” “Why am I not surprised? Have they already discharged you?” “It’s happening as we speak. I’m just waiting on them to bring a wheelchair to roll me out.” “But you’re walking fine now—just a little slower than normal.” “It’s hospital rules. They roll you out whether you like it or not. Uh—Kyle—I take it you haven’t seen this morning’s paper yet.” “No, it hadn’t arrived when I left the apartment. We need to complain about that carrier. He’s always late.” “Kyle, you probably need to brace yourself a little, okay?” He patted the bed. “Why don’t you sit down here beside me?” “Why, what’s wrong?” Colby handed him that morning’s edition of the Daily Gazette & Mail. Just below the front page fold was a picture of Wes Watson and the headline “Popular East High Coach Commits Suicide Amid Allegations.” Kyle stared at it without speaking. Despite the fact he was sitting, he felt himself growing dizzy and flushed. “Kyle, are you okay? Say something.”

“He came to see me last night.”

“About what?”

“He wanted to apologize for how he treated me all those

240 William Neale years. Said he needed to clear his conscience. Damn, Colby! How stupid am I? I should have known what he was really saying.” “Tell me what he actually said.” “After he apologized, he said he was going through a real rough stretch. His wife left him and took the kids to her parents. He said she found out he had a boyfriend, but only after he had ended the relationship. And he said he was no longer a teacher and coach but didn’t want to talk about it. And he looked awful, Cole. His face was all swollen and red like he’d been crying a lot. I should have recognized how despondent he was but instead I just tried to cheer him up with stupid platitudes. I even told him you and me would be his friends if he wanted to talk. I think he came to me for a lifeline and I never tossed it to him. Jesus, Cole, maybe I could have prevented this.” “No, I don’t think so. Maybe he just wanted to say goodbye. The article says that he’d been suspended from teaching and coaching at the high school because of allegations he had sexual contact with an under-age member of the wrestling team.” “He didn’t tell me that. Oh my God, that must have been Charlie.” “Who?” “He said his boyfriend’s name was Charlie. But he didn’t tell me he was an underage student.” “The article said the paper was planning to run a story about his suspension today but that it got changed because of his suicide. It quoted Larry Grigsby saying they were preparing to charge him with statutory rape and corrupting a minor.” “It makes sense. Wes said that he broke off the relationship with Charlie because he fantasized that Charlie was really me. Charlie didn’t take that well and caused Wes ‘a lot of problems’ in Wes’s words. But, he also took full blame and said he got what he deserved.” “If Charlie really was a member of Wes’s wrestling team, Wes deserved to go to prison.”

son of A Ditch 241 “But he killed himself. I was probably the last person he talked to and his last words were to wish you and me a happy life. God, why didn’t I try and stop him?” “Listen to me, Kyle. You couldn’t have possibly known. He lost his family, his job, his reputation, and was probably looking at a long prison sentence. That doesn’t justify suicide but Wes obviously had some major issues way beyond your ability to help. Plus, you said yourself that the first time he and you did anything you were still only seventeen and he got you drunk. A responsible teacher and coach doesn’t do that with a seventeen year-old boy. How many other boys do you think he might have used the same way over the years? If he did it to you and Charlie, he may have done it with others. Wes could well have been a serial pedophile.” “I don’t think so, and don’t want to believe that about him. I was out of high school and about to turn eighteen when we started our relationship. I knew what I was doing and he was only six years older. I just think nobody deserves to die that unhappy. Think about his poor soul, Colby. He’s probably stuck in some awful hell right now.” “I hope not and I wouldn’t wish that on anybody. But it’s tough for me to feel sorry for him knowing how he treated you all those years and for what he apparently did to Charlie. Do you think he would have shot himself if he were innocent?” “I don’t know. I’m kind of overwhelmed right now. Can we go? Let’s blow off the wheelchair and the rules. I took today off so let’s just go home where we can be alone. I really need you in my arms as soon as we can get there.”

chAPteR tWenty-seven “Are you sure you’re feeling up to this?” Kyle asked Colby as he grabbed the keys to his Jeep Wrangler from the kitchen counter. “We don’t have to stay all afternoon either.” Colby had been home since mid-week. And today—Sunday— was the first family dinner since his mother had begun her strike. She planned a special celebration of Colby’s survival and his return home and had also invited a large group of relatives and close family friends, including Harlan and Irene. “Oh sure, I feel fine. Just park me in a comfy chair and keep my wine glass full while my Aunt Jewel tells me all about her diverticulitis.” Kyle laughed. “That I can do and I’ll also do my best to run interference from Aunt Jewel. How about a kiss before we go?” “You betcha, stud …. Mmmm, nice. Careful you don’t get me all hot and bothered again.” “Cause then I’d have to make us late by kissing you somewhere else again.” “I don’t mind being late if you don’t.” “As far as I’m concerned we can spend the rest of the day in bed.” “Instead of just the whole morning.” “No, we must resist temptations of the flesh, sayeth Reverend McCoy. Mama’s put a lot into planning this and if the guest of honor is late, she’ll get her feelings hurt.” “You’re calling her Mama now?” Colby grinned. “She said that’s what the daughters-in-law call her and it would please her greatly if I would too.” “Well I might as well have put a ring on your finger. You’re stuck with the whole damn Dawson family for good now.”

244 William Neale “There’s only one Dawson I want to be stuck to.”

“Did you say you want to be stuck or to suck?”

Kyle chuckled. “You may still be sore all over but there’s sure

nothing wrong with your plumbing. How many blowjobs am I gonna have to give you today?” Colby offered a sheepish grin and a shrug of his shoulders. “We had to behave when I was in the hospital and now I want to make up for lost time. And besides, you know what my doctor said. Blow jobs and hand jobs only until my side wound is all healed inside.” “That’s not exactly how she phrased it but I sure ain’t complaining. You know that’s one of my favorite things. But it’ll sure be good when we can rock the springs again.” “I’m counting the days,” Colby said, leaning to kiss Kyle again. “All right, let’s go make Mama happy.”

111 “You’re being summoned, babe,” Kyle said low enough in his ear so that only Colby could hear his endearment. Colby, stuffed full after eating all the favorite dishes made in his honor, sat in the family room in his father’s worn but favorite leather recliner. He was engaged in a spirited game of Go Fish with his three young nieces. “But I can’t go now. See the only card I need to win?” He showed Kyle. “Nope, no eights, Jenny. Go fish.” “Okay, let me sit in for you and finish your hand. I’ll only take half of your winnings.” “I’ll warn you. They only pay in kisses on the cheek.” “Kisses on the cheek, you say?” Kyle smiled and winked at the girls, causing them to erupt in giggles. “I think I can handle that. Here, let me help you up.” “Uhmmm,” Colby grimaced. “Getting up is such a bitch. Oops. I meant stitch, girls. See? I’m having so much fun with Uncle Kyle I’m in stitches.”

son of A Ditch 245 “Just take your time, Cole,” Kyle said, firmly grasping and lifting up on Colby’s stiffened arm. “Good, there you go. They’re in Cy’s office waiting for you. Want me to help you?” “Oh, no. I’m fine once I’m on my feet. Let’s hope this meeting of Dawson Construction goes better than the last one I was invited to.” Kyle smiled knowingly. “I have a good feeling about this one.”

111 “Here, Cole,” Matt said, getting up. “Take my place on the sofa.” “Thanks, Matty, but actually I’d rather just take one of these parson’s chairs by the fireplace. That’ll be a lot easier to get in and out of.” He lined up his rear with the seat and gingerly lowered himself.” “You feeling okay, Colby?” Caleb asked. “You’re looking a little pale.” “That’s because my face hasn’t seen the sun in over two weeks,” Colby said, faking through the pain and fatigue he felt at the moment. “I’m fine, Caleb, but I appreciate you asking.” “Colby,” Cy began. “I’m gonna make a little speech and I’d appreciate it if you’d hear me out and just listen to the whole thing without interrupting, okay?” “You practicing for your gubernatorial campaign now that your ditch caused Carson Foreman to have to resign?” “Very funny, wise ass. It was your crack about this not being Tiananmen Square that got the headlines. Now please just listen. Last time we were all in this room, it ended with bad words, bad feelings, and bad blood between brothers. It really hurt me to see that. And what hurt even more was knowing that I was the primary cause of it all. Contrary to the arrogant bullshit I usually put out, the truth is I’ve made more mistakes in my life than I can begin to count. Yet the best thing I ever did was marry your mother and have me four terrific boys who have grown into outstanding men. Every one of you makes me so damn proud I

246 William Neale could just burst with joy sometimes. Of course there are other times I want to kick some of your asses to the moon. “But to my point, I look at you four and I marvel at how God blessed each of you with your own very unique and, in some ways, even genius talent. Cy, you can study a complex set of construction drawings and have ’em practically memorized from that day forward. When you go to a job site, you know exactly whether something’s being done to spec and standard and the workers and foremen know that you know. They have tremendous respect and regard for you and that’s also because you treat them with equal respect. So most of ’em bust their asses for us and we rarely have to deal with quality control issues. Most important, you get the jobs done right, on schedule, and on budget. “Caleb, you’re soft-spoken and laid back, you don’t say much, and you’re kind of the opposite personality of what I’d expect a good salesman to be. And yet, you have the gift of going into a developer’s or a public official’s office and making him or her have complete confidence that Dawson Construction is the only general contractor they should hire. Our clients trust you, they know that your word and your handshake are golden, and they know you’ll communicate frequently and honestly with them until the project is complete. I don’t even have to go on new business calls anymore because you’re way better at it than me and my mouth just gets us in trouble. “Matty, you’re a special gift from God because you love what I absolutely hate to do. Until you took over as CFO, money was what kept me up at nights. And, I was paying a big accounting firm a ton of our money every year to advise, forecast, and manage cash flow. You do all that stuff now—and far more competently, I might add. I don’t understand half of what you tell me but you know what? I don’t need to. That’s how much trust I have in you. And it’s you who manages the office staff and keeps the bills paid on time—something else I never enjoyed doing. So thank you, Matt. We all thank you for that. “I know the three of you have been jockeying for position

son of A Ditch 247 in this company for the day I retire and that has bothered me mightily. The thoughts of you all fighting among yourselves has, at times, made me think I’d just keep working until I drop over dead one day. But don’t you see? Each of you has equally critical roles in this company and none is more important than the other. “Which is why I’ve decided not to name a successor CEO. From this day forward, none of you will have titles. Your new business cards will simply say ‘Partner’ under your name. Because as of today, that’s what you each of you will be and I’ll explain how the details of that is going to work at the office next week. For the big decisions that have to be made, I have confidence that you will put your collective heads together and find consensus. You’ll be forced to work together as a team of equals. And if you don’t, then you’ll be out of business, flat and simple. But by then, Ruth and I will either be on a cruise around the world or I’ll be dead. Either way, it will not be my worry. It’ll be yours and I know you’ll do the right thing. “And then we come to you, Colby…” “I don’t think there’s anything in that black bag for me, oh Great and Powerful Oz.” “Did I give you permission to speak?” Colby smiled. “Sorry, Dad.” “Colby, you know my degree from UT was in agriculture. You also know how all this land was my daddy’s farm and he expected me to take it over one day. But that wasn’t what I wanted to do so unbeknownst to him at the time I took every engineering course I could and essentially had a double major. And that’s what I bring most to this company. Yes, I can do or hire others to handle what each of you do because while you were growing up I had no other choice. But what I’m good at and the main reason this company has succeeded is me looking at a complex set of specs and figuring out how much it will cost us to build. Then I determine how much we can competitively bid in order to get the business and still make a fair profit. “A big part of that process is something we call value

248 William Neale engineering, Colby. That’s the ability to take what the client wants and figure out how to build it more efficiently than anybody else can. If we deliver superior quality at a lower cost, then we succeed and the client is happy. And, next time that developer goes to build something we have a leg up over everybody else when we submit our bid package. “Colby, you have a very rare mechanical gift and you will make an outstanding engineer one day. I’d like to again make you an offer and this time I’m asking you and not telling you. Come to work with me and let me teach you what I do. I’ll pay you a fair salary equal to what an entry level management person would make in this business. In the meantime, you can go to classes whenever you need to. And in four years—or whenever you graduate—I’ll have you ready to take over—then your mama and I can retire. “Please also allow me to pay for your education the way I should have in the first place. This is not charity; it’s an investment. And it’s also not a guilt offering, Colby. It’s simply a smart move for the company’s interests. But most important, I believe it’ll be especially good for your personal interests—and for your future with Kyle. But, as I said, what I want or believe doesn’t matter. This is your decision to make. Cy, you got the package I had made up?” “Yeah, Daddy, right here.” Cy Jr. picked up a small, rectangular, dark green jeweler’s box and stood. “Colby, I know we have already settled our differences. Or more accurately, I apologized for being such a total shit to you. It came from my heart and I thank God every day—I truly do—that He let you live so I could say it to you before you—you…” His voice cracked. “My God, we almost lost you!” “It’s okay, Cy,” Colby said to his brother, his own eyes watering. “Thank you.” Cy Jr. paused and cleared his throat. “Colby, the blunt truth is that I can’t do what Daddy does for Dawson Construction and neither can Caleb or Matt. We need you and we are respectfully asking you to join us. There is already an office waiting on you

son of A Ditch 249 and Dad thought this might help convince you of our sincerity.” Cy Jr. handed Colby the box and walked back to his seat. Colby eyed it for a few seconds and, saying nothing, opened it. Inside, a brass plate rested on a dark green velvet base. Its glare reflected the brightness from a recessed light above Colby’s head. He had to angle the box to see what was engraved on the plate: Colby H. Dawson, Partner. “It goes on the wall outside your office door and is just like the ones we have with our old titles,” Matt said. “You deserve this as much as any of us, Cole. Each of your brothers started out the same way with Dad teaching us the business. Cy, Caleb, and I want you to join us in continuing the legacy that Daddy has worked so hard building all these years. But most important, you’re our brother and we love you and want you to have this.” “Matt took the words out my mouth, Colby,” Caleb said. “I want you with us as much as Matty and Cy so please consider accepting Dad’s offer.” Colby looked up at each of the other men in the room, taking his time before responding. Finally, he replaced the lid back on the box and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “I just have one question. Does my new office have a view?”

111 “So did you say yes?” Kyle flashed a broad and beaming grin as he pulled out onto the highway from the Dawson driveway. They were the first to leave after Colby quietly admitted to Kyle how much he needed to go home and lie down. “Yes to what?” Colby teased. “You know what. Tell me.” “So how the hell do you know?” “Mama told me.” “Should I be jealous of you and her? First you’re calling her Mama and now she’s telling you secrets before I know them. You trying to steal my mama from me?”

250 William Neale “You’re ignoring my question. Did. You. Say. Yes?” “Yeah, I did. It was really nice. They said some pretty wonderful things to me that had never been said before. If I hadn’t been so tired and aching to go home I probably would have gotten a lot more teary-eyed than I did. As much as I complain about ‘em, I’m really blessed to have that family, you know?” “Yes, I do know. I love being there. I’ve also stolen your nieces from you too, by the way. But seriously, I can’t tell you how much it means that everybody goes out of their way to make me feel so welcome and wanted there. Even Cy and Caleb. Me and Dad lived as two bachelors for so long, I’d forgotten what it was like to have a real family.” “Well you have one now. Just try escaping them. It’s like that old Eagles song: You can check in, but you can’t check out.” “I don’t ever want to. But listen, what you said about stealing your mama. I know it was just a joke but can I tell you something serious that I’ve never told you?” “Sure you can.” “I don’t mean this as a downer on what has been a really good day. But I was fifteen when my mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. You knew about it at the time but I didn’t talk about it much or bring it to school or sports with me. But that was the last time I really knew what it was like to have a regular mother. For the last year of her life, she suffered so much. Chemo and radiation and a million drugs we had to keep track of and give her round the clock. Her hair fell out and she was sick in bed most of the time. Me and Dad did whatever we could to help her and we had visiting nurses and people from church helping too.” “I’m so sorry, babe.” “Thanks, but I’m telling you this to make a point. What stands out is how your mama was over at our house at least once a week bringing all this incredible food she had cooked for us. It would last us for days and we ate really well. She did this the whole time Mom was sick. I know she and my mother were real close friends. But she went way beyond just friendship for us. This was how

son of A Ditch 251 you define real compassion and love, Cole. One whole year she did this.” “I had no idea. She never told us she was doing any of that. And neither did you.” “While you were in the hospital, I would eat something delicious she had made for me and flash back to how I used to think she was some kind of angel that God must have sent to help get us through what was happening. Towards the end when the hospital sent Mom home for hospice, she was too sick to get out of bed and Dad was too worried and upset to think much about me. But your mama knew that and she tried to make up for it with hugs and comforting stuff she said to me that nobody else heard. She worried about me, Cole. My point in all of this is that I loved your mother then and I love her now. I will never forget what she did for us and what she meant to me. So if it sometimes seems like I’m trying to steal her, that’s why I guess I am.” Colby fought back yet more tears as he shifted carefully across the driver’s seat and kissed Kyle on his cheek. “The best thing about a mama’s love is that there’s plenty to go around. Oh, baby, I’m so sorry you had it so rough.” “No, it was my mom who had it so rough.” “Yeah, I know,” he said gently. “But the good thing that has come out of all of this is that you do have a family now—starting with me—and that fills me with even more joy now that I better understand what you went through. When I think about all the gay people I’ve known whose families rejected them—or wanted nothing to do with their boyfriends or partners—it just makes me doubly thankful that we have ours. And that includes Harlan and Irene when I say ‘ours.’ You know how often they both came to see me when I was in the hospital.” “Yeah, you’re right. I was wrong to not like Irene at first. It was just because—well you know why. But one other thing I should tell you and it’s kind of a confession. You remember that first Sunday family dinner we went to when I told your mama that her fried chicken reminded me of my mom’s?”

252 William Neale “Sure.”

“My compliment was sincere. But what I really wanted was

the mandatory invitation you warned me about.” “Oh, my sweet baby. Why didn’t you just say so?” “Truthfully?” Kyle pulled the car into his parking space at their complex and turned off the ignition. “If I had—I would have started bawling right there in front of everybody.”

chAPteR tWenty-eight “Hi, Mr. Murrell, this is Colby Dawson. How are you, sir?” “I’m fine, thank you. The question is how are you?” asked Colby’s boss. “Good also. I’m doing a lot of physical therapy to help me get back to full speed. Otherwise, everything’s healing better than the doctors expected. Thank you for asking and also thank you for visiting me when I was still in the hospital. It meant a lot to me.” “Well it was the least I could do for somebody who completely turned around my bus garage.” “Well that’s part of why I’m calling. I’m not allowed to drive yet and I hate to keep asking people to chauffeur me around. Otherwise I’d tell you this in person. I’m going to have to resign my position.” “Oh my. I’m real sorry to hear that. Real sorry. Can you tell me why?” “It’s nothing at all negative. In fact, I think it’s the most rewarding job I’ve ever had. I felt like I was making a difference in something that was important. But my father has made me a partner at Dawson Construction. I’m going to work there and learn the business while I get my engineering degree.” “With the county schools starting up next week that kind of leaves me in a bind, Colby.” “No, not really, sir. Realize that I haven’t been there in over two weeks yet my crew now has every single bus inspected, operative, and ready.” “One hundred percent of them?” “All sixty-six of them. Plus the four new ones that were just delivered.” “That’s never happened in my entire tenure. I’m amazed. How did you get this done without you being there?”

254 William Neale “Well, that’s the second part of why I’m calling. Our lead mechanic is a guy named Randy Wardell. When I first started he had a bit of an attitude issue because he thought he should have gotten my job. But we worked through that and I’ve also worked with him real closely. I think he’d be an ideal candidate to replace me. When I was injured he stepped up to the plate and promised me that he and the crew would work twice as hard. And the results speak for themselves.” “Really now? And you are certain he’s ready to take over?” “He’s already taken over in my absence. He’s doing the job as we speak and has totally embraced the quality control systems I put in place. I check in with him daily and he’s getting everything done very competently. I’m very proud of him and the whole crew.” “Then that makes my dilemma not so much of a dilemma. I’ll bring him in and talk to him. Unless something unexpected turns up, I’ll offer him the job.” “He’s only making twelve dollars an hour right now which, frankly, is about half of what a master mechanic with his skills could make elsewhere.” “Well, you know what I have budgeted for the chief mechanic’s position because you’re making it. I see no reason why we can’t offer him the same. It’s a salaried position so he’ll also receive some additional benefits.” “Well speaking of budgets, you have also allowed for six mechanic positions but only four slots were filled when I started back in April. What we found out is that with proper supervision and everybody pulling their weight, you don’t really need six mechanics. Four plus a working chief mechanic can handle it fine. Maybe you’d consider using that found budget savings to offer decent raises to the other guys. They’re not making much and in my opinion, they could go elsewhere and earn a lot more. You do that and you’ll have a very happy and motivated team that will give you stability and the competence to keep your fleet at one-hundred percent safe and operative on an ongoing basis.”

son of A Ditch 255 “Not having to worry about the bus fleet would ease my burden considerably. I appreciate the suggestions, Colby. They make good sense and I’ll take a very serious look. I also am grateful for everything you accomplished. Despite the short tenure, you’re one of the best hires I ever made.”

111 Kyle surveyed all the empty seats and the tepid gathering of people that made the small funeral home chapel seem large. Wes’s wife Karen sat on the front row next to an older couple who must have been her parents. Interestingly, she didn’t wear black but rather, a royal blue suit seemingly more appropriate for a business meeting. Her children were not present. Behind them was a man and woman staring straight ahead and motionless. When they took their seats earlier, Kyle could see Wes’s face on the man, but on an older and slightly paunchy body. His brother? Three stocky teenage boys dressed in black and orange East High warm-up suits sat halfway back in the pews. They were likely the only members of Wes’s wrestling team who had chosen to pay their respects. How sad, Kyle thought. The three sat side by side and stared forward, saying nothing to each other. They looked frightened and as though they’d rather be anywhere else. But damn it, he thought, give these boys credit for showing some decency and respect. Ed Handley, the head football coach at East—a really nice guy Kyle knew casually—sat with a woman who likely was his wife. And on his other side was Miss Ware, the now fiftysomething woman who had been both the girls PE instructor and varsity basketball coach for as long as Kyle could remember. She had never married and Kyle had always suspected that she was “family.” He could only speculate about her reasons for attending but he hoped it was because maybe she understood how conflicted a closeted life had been for Wes. There was a smattering of other unknown people—maybe seven or eight—thinly dispersed among the pews. Maybe relatives

256 William Neale or former students or wrestlers. Surely Wes had made a lasting impact on some of them. And then—the last to arrive—a tall and deeply tanned athletic looking young man with sandy brown hair streaked blond from the summer sun. He wore a navy blazer, gray pants, light blue shirt, and a red-striped tie. He nodded and exchanged glances with the three guys in warm-up suits as though they knew each other, but he chose to sit on the opposite side in a pew by himself. This must be the boy, Kyle thought. Charlie. “My God,” Colby whispered in Kyle’s ear. “He looks just like you when you were that age.” If this was indeed Charlie, Kyle thought, he had some major balls to come to the funeral of the man whose life had been shattered over their involvement. Kyle didn’t blame Charlie for this because Wes was entirely at fault. But still… “I know what you’re thinking,” Colby whispered again. “That kid has some big cojones, doesn’t he?” “We don’t even know that it’s him,” Kyle whispered back. “Yes we do. It only took one look at him to know.” “Maybe he really did love Wes.” “Then that’s what we’ll believe, sweetheart.” Kyle felt a hand discreetly cover and squeeze his own, the action largely hidden by the bottoms of their suit jackets as they sat together on the uncomfortable wooden pew. He looked at Colby and smiled with gratitude. Colby didn’t have to come, especially with his recuperation still in progress; yet, he had insisted for Kyle’s sake. They attended largely because Kyle feared no one else would show for Wes’s memorial service and he couldn’t bear the thought of Wes looking from wherever his soul rested and seeing nobody there. This wasn’t about condoning Wes’s mistakes. It was a simple act of compassion for someone who—for better or worse—had been a significant part of Kyle’s life. There was no casket; only an urn of his ashes. It was placed

son of A Ditch 257 beside an enlarged photo of Wes leaping into the air with joy when his team had clinched the championship of the state wrestling tournament a few years earlier. Kyle knew first-hand that it had been the pinnacle moment of Wes’s life. One of the funeral directors walked to the front and stood in front of a lectern with the mortuary’s logo mounted on its front. He held a single sheet of paper in his hands and cleared his throat into the microphone signaling that the service was about to begin. Without making eye contact with the audience, he began to read. “Family and friends of Wesley Phillip Watson, thank you for coming today. Wesley’s wife and brother have asked me to convey their gratitude for your compassion in this tragic time. They have also requested that in lieu of a formal service, you take this moment, on an individual basis, to meditate or pray that Wesley’s soul will find peace. Your very presence here is a comforting gesture and expression to the family, so they respectfully ask that you not approach them with your personal condolences. And, as detailed in the newspaper’s obituary, should you wish to contribute to a cause in memory of Wesley, please consider his children’s scholarship fund. Again, thank you for coming today. This concludes today’s service.” Kyle and Colby exchanged surprised glances and again read each other’s minds: Why bother with holding a service when no service would be allowed—not even a single hymn or prayer. What would it have taken for his wife to endure just sixty seconds of someone’s prayer or poem? For a flawed and tortured life that deserved at least one tiny moment of collective—and not “individual”—mourning. As much as he didn’t want to, Kyle allowed his sorrow and pity for Wes to manifest. He remembered the final hug he gave him that night and was so glad that at least Wes received one final act of caring and affection before he ended his life. Colby saw his tears, scooted even closer, put his good arm around his partner, and gently guided Kyle’s head to rest on his shoulder. Two pews in front of them “Charlie” covered his face with

258 William Neale his hands as his shoulders shook. It was, as requested, their individual moments.

chAPteR tWenty-nine “You have to come see this, Kyle! You won’t believe what a steal this house is.” “Damn, babe. You never get this excited except when you get excited. That must be some house.” “I’m serious. I’m standing here with the realtor in the middle of this incredible great-room with a killer view of the lake, the town, and the Smokies in the distance. Is there any way you can come look at it now?” “Sure, I guess so. I haven’t taken my ten-forty yet so I can swing by.” “Taken your what?” “Sorry—ten-forty is radio code for lunch. So what’s the sudden thing with looking at houses?” “Since I’m going stir crazy at home. It’s such a nice blue-sky day, I decided to get out of the apartment and go take some pictures from the top of Booker’s Mountain. But on the walk up, I saw this house with a For Sale sign in the yard and, on a lark, I called the realtor. It’s about a mile up the mountain from our apartment and in spitting distance of Clay and Tag’s place. Actually, they’re just below so we probably could spit on ’em.” Kyle whistled. “Since when can we afford to buy in that neighborhood?” “Since the bank foreclosed on it and hasn’t been able to unload it at any price. Plus, it’s not a mansion. It’s actually pretty modest for this neighborhood, but still nice. The realtor says the bank just wants to be rid of it at this point and will take any reasonable offer that approaches what the former owners still owed. So are you leaving right now?” Kyle chuckled at Colby’s almost childlike enthusiasm. “Okay, okay. I’m not far away so I’ll be there in about five.”

260 William Neale “Ten-four, County Mountie. Catch you on the flip flop.” “Babe, I’m a deputy, not a trucker.”

111 “Wow, this place really is something,” Kyle said. “It’s not nearly as big or as fancy as Rogan James’ house but it’s plenty nice enough for the two of us. Plus we’d have an even better view than Clay and Tag’s.” They sat in a very squeaky old-fashioned swing on one end of the large porch, enjoying the expansive view, the realtor having left them alone to speak privately. “I know we’ve talked about buying a house together but I figured it would be something we’d do later than sooner.” “Well, you make a good living as a sheriff ’s deputy and I’ll be making quite a bit more working with Dad than I did working on school buses. If we can buy this house in the range of what the realtor is suggesting, our house payment shouldn’t be much more than what we’re already paying in rent. Plus we’d be building equity instead of pissing away rent money. We just have to come up with a twenty percent down payment and qualify for the mortgage.” “Okay. Well, living at home for so many years, Dad wouldn’t let me pay rent so I put it into savings instead. So, my ten percent isn’t a problem and I’ve got good credit.” “And I won’t need my savings for school now that Dad’s paying for it and I have zero debt. But let me ask you a question and I want you to tell me the truth. Are you sure you’re ready to make this kind of commitment? We’re talking a fifteen year or possibly thirty year mortgage. I don’t want to rush things or put pressure on you. We’re in no hurry and there’ll always be other houses.” Kyle took Colby’s hand and not caring whether the realtor could see from inside the house, leaned closer and kissed him. “I was ready the day you moved in with me.” Colby chuckled. “You know, that sounds like a cheesy line

son of A Ditch 261 from that old Tom Cruise movie where Renée Zellweger says, ‘You had me at hello.’” Kyle reared back in the swing, rolled his eyes, and let out an exasperated breath. “Why do you do that every goddamned time I try to say something romantic to you?” “Well maybe you should come up with more original lines,” Colby teased. “Okay, you want original? You got it. Wait right here. Don’t you dare move a damn muscle. I’ll be right back.” “Where are you going?” “I said don’t move.” Two minutes later he returned carrying a thick green file folder. He tossed it into Colby’s lap. “You want original? Okay, how’s this? Will you marry me?” “What?” “I said will you marry me. I promised you in the intensive care unit after you were shot that when you got better we’d get married and spend our honeymoon lying on a beach.” He tapped the file folder. “This is it. It’s all arranged. We’re going to Provincetown, Massachusetts and we leave a week from today.” “Wow! God, Kyle. Double wow. Now I feel like a total ass for making fun of you when you were just being sweet and sincere. I’m sorry, babe. And you were saving this news for a really romantic moment, weren’t you?” “I was gonna tell you tonight but that doesn’t matter. You didn’t answer my question. Will you marry me?” “You know the answer. Yes, about a million times over. You had me at hello.” He winked with a glint of tease and touched Kyle’s cheek. Kyle’s eyes softened and he visibly relaxed. “Tell me the truth. Was it really that way for you too? At hello?” “You know it was. You know how we reconnected almost instantly. For me, the hunky sheriff ’s deputy who walked in the

262 William Neale diner that night totally tripped my trigger.” “Geez, Colby. Don’t ever use that phrase again.” “Oops. Sorry.” “Back to our trip. I’m so jazzed about this! I’ve planned everything. Clay and Tag helped me and they’re going to make the trip also and stand up for us. Plus, I guess, to sort of have a second honeymoon of their own. And Mama and Cy and Dad and Irene are flying up for the ceremony too. Oh—and Matt and Mary Alice are also coming. Mary Alice said we better make her the matron of honor or she’ll never forgive us. I’ve booked our flights. Even the ferry ride from Logan Airport in Boston to Provincetown. We’re all staying at the same guest house Clay and Tag did when they went there to get married. And, we’ll get back from our honeymoon the day before we start classes.” “Wow again. I am way impressed. So everybody knew about this before you said squat to me?” “Are you pissed?” “No, just amazed that nobody let the cat out of the bag. We have a lot of big mouths in our family and Daddy is standing at the front of the line.” Kyle laughed. “Mama would have killed them if they had.” “And why do I think most of this was you and her conspiring together?” “I couldn’t not involve her. You were still in the hospital and we had some great talks. My relationship with her means more to me than you know.” “No, Kyle, I get it completely. Knowing you have a mama in your life again makes me so glad I get all teary every time I think about it.” “I never dreamed I could ever feel this happy. It’s pretty amazing what we have, don’t you think?” Colby took in the picture of his best friend, his lover, his partner, and his soon to be husband. The smile on Kyle’s face was practically euphoric. Colby leaned closer and kissed him.

son of A Ditch 263 “You are what’s amazing.” “I wish we could make love right here, right now, in this squeaky old swing.” “There’s a very straight and slightly scared-of-us realtor inside the house probably watching our every move. Wanna give him a show?” Kyle grinned. “Wouldn’t that be something for him to talk about at the next Rotary Club meeting? But I guess we need to tell him something and not keep him waiting. What do you think about this house? Should we consider it or maybe start looking at some other places too?” “There’s something about this one that speaks to me,” Colby answered. “It was like shouting for me to stop and look at it even though house hunting wasn’t on my list of things to do. And the instant I walked in, I got such incredibly good vibes. I can see us living here and being happy for a very long time. And, we can afford it. It’ll be a real home with flowers in the yard and maybe a dog and who knows? Maybe a couple of kids some day. But I’m getting way ahead of myself. The final decision is yours, Kylie. You be the sane and rational one on this. What do you say?” “Cole, you had me at county mountie.”

ePiLogue “So, husband, how does it feel to finally be a husband?” Colby asked Kyle as they settled together on the sofa in their small suite at the Cape Moon Guest House in Provincetown. They held glasses of the expensive champagne Clay and Tag had arranged to be delivered for their wedding night. Etched into the crystal was the hotel’s signature half-moon logo and the names Colby and Kyle. “Funny, I thought I would feel different. But I don’t.” Colby’s eyebrows arched with surprise. “You saying having my ring on your finger now doesn’t make you feel different?” “No—that’s not at all what I’m saying,” Kyle sputtered. “Geez, one more glass of this stuff on top of what we had at the reception and I won’t be able to speak at all. What I’m badly trying to say is that I didn’t need a ring to change how I feel about you. As far as I’m concerned, I’ve been wearing your ring since that first night we became roommates and you so awkwardly came out to me.” “Yeah, and when you so awkwardly didn’t come out to me.” “You still holding that against me?” “Yeah, I sure am,” Colby smiled and leaned forward for a kiss. “But it’s like that old country song, If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me.” “You do love those corny country songs, don’t you?” “Can’t help it. I’m just a corny country guy who is head over heels in love.” Kyle kissed the tip of Colby’s nose. “There was nothing corny about your vows tonight. Obviously, they made everybody cry. Could you believe even Cy was wiping his eyes? Now tell me the truth. Did you really write them all by yourself or did you find them at Marriage Vows dot com?”

266 William Neale “Now now, husband. Careful you don’t insult me on our wedding night.” Colby tapped his index finger on his own heart. “You know where those words came from and it wasn’t some dot com. But they were no more inspired than yours. We were two blubbering brides, weren’t we?” “Yeah, I hope that videographer we hired did her job so I can see your eyes again that way.” “And also the impromptu crowd on the beach,” Colby added. “Yeah, wasn’t that something? I think half the gay men and women in Provincetown stopped and watched. And when we kissed, it was like they were cheering for the winner of the Super Bowl. Just unforgettable.” Tag smiled and leaned in for another kiss. “And just when we thought it couldn’t get any better, Clay and Tag decided to do their thing.” “At first I thought they had planned it in advance,” Tag said. “I mean, come on—their renewal vows were too poetic and moving to be spontaneous.” “I think you mean extemporaneous, hon,” Colby teased. “Smart ass. It was both. But to my point, you heard them trying to apologize afterwards thinking they had upstaged us. I think it really was unplanned.” Colby reached for the champagne bottle to refill their glasses. “Yeah, I agree. I think our two best men just got caught in the moment. And I think they’d been having some issues. You remember that Saturday night when we were practically pushed out their door right after dinner?” “Yeah, all we got was an apology the next day with no explanation for why they were fighting.” “Not that we were owed one. I’m just glad they obviously worked out whatever it was.” “Yeah, I hope that our marriage is as successful as theirs has been.” “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life.

son of A Ditch 267 Here’s to you and me and forever, babe.” Colby clinked his glass against Kyle’s. Kyle took a sip and smiled. “You probably don’t remember this, but the first time we made love you said something pretty wonderful to me. You know how I was kind of nervous about it being our first time. But you just held me for a while and put me completely at ease. But what I’ll always remember is when you said ‘With you, I feel like I’m home.’ To me, it perfectly describes what we have. You remember telling me that?” Colby kissed Kyle again. “Of course I do. It gets more so every day and that’s the God’s truth. That first time we made love also reminds me of something else.” He reached behind the sofa and took a small black gift box from the library table positioned there. “I have a little wedding night present for you.” “Ah, come on Cole. I don’t have one for you.” “Oh yes, you surely do. Go ahead and open it.” Kyle removed the metallic gold stretchy cord and opened the box. “Wow, look at this. A condom still in its wrapper. Is this supposed to be a joke?” “Pick it up.” Kyle lifted one corner only to see the thing separate. “It’s been cut in half. Wait a minute. Oh, man. Really?” “I got the new test. Clean and safe. No more barriers between us, Kylie. Only our trust and our love for the rest of our lives.” “So we finally are home, aren’t we?” “There’s no place I’d rather be.”

AuthoR’s note In 1974, then Governor Winfield Dunn, a Republican from Memphis, attempted to locate a state prison in an East Tennessee city on which the fictitious town of Moorestown is based. Despite its location at the epicenter of his party’s political stronghold, he inexplicably attempted to force this facility down the collective throats of a community that had voted overwhelmingly in support of him. Protestors indeed dug a ditch across the proposed prison site in an unsuccessful attempt to delay the start of its construction. But after persistent and tenacious local opposition, work was finally halted and the unfinished building sat empty for years. While inspired by this event, Son Of A Ditch, its characters, and the city of Moorestown exist only in the author’s imagination. And, to the author’s knowledge, there was never a “tit for tat” deal linking acceptance of the prison with awarding the town the new state community college that now thrives directly across from the former prison site. As a postscript, Dunn was constitutionally prohibited from running for re-election as governor at the time. He ran again in 1986, however, and won the state’s Republican primary nomination. According to news reports, he was defeated in the general election largely because of a lack of support from heavily Republican East Tennessee. WN

About the AuthoR William Neale lives in Cleveland, Ohio with his partner of over a decade. Relatively new to the world of contemporary m/m romance, he spent over thirty years as a successful corporate communications executive, ad man, and PR “spin doctor.” Knowing how to “make up the truth” prepared him well for his next career as an author. William makes no apologies for the fact that his books and characters are often larger than life. A William Neale novel invites you to a fantasy – to a place where you can dream and hope that indeed, happily-ever-after can and does exist. Those who seek brutally “real,” gritty, and angst-ridden life stories probably won’t find them in a William Neale book. “That’s okay,” says Neale. “Not everybody wants or appreciates a feel-good story. As for me, reading has always been a wonderful escape from reality. Even as a child, I loved the fantasy of becoming Peter Pan, Huck Finn, or one of the Hardy Boys.” Son of a Ditch is William’s third published novel and is the second book in the Home series. His other works include HOME, A New Normal, and the short story Got Your Back, all available from MLR Press and major romance book retailers. Look for future novels including the sequel to A New Normal and Book III in the Home series. William greatly appreciates comments and suggestions from readers and promises to respond to all. Visit his website at WilliamNeale.com or write him directly at: [email protected].

tRADeMARks AcknoWLeDgMent The author acknowledges the trademark status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction: 60 Minutes: CBS Corporation Inc. 7-Up: Dr Pepper/Seven Up, Inc. Applebee’s: Applebee’s International, Inc. Atlanta Braves: MLB Advanced Media, L.P. Belk: Belk Stores Services, Inc. Cleveland Plain Dealer: The Plain Dealer Publishing Co. CNN: Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. A Time Warner Company. Craigslist: 1010 Cole Street, Inc. Dodge: Daimler Chrysler Group LLC ESPN: ESPN Inc. First Tennessee Bank: First Tennessee Bank Ford (Explorer): Ford Motor Company Formica: Formica Corporation Fox News: Fox News Network LLC Gators: University Athletic Association, Inc. Greyhound: Greyhound Lines, Inc. Jack Daniels: Jack Daniel’s Properties, Inc. Jeep Wrangler: Chrysler Group LLC Knoxville News Sentinel: The E.W. Scripps Co. McDonald’s: McDonald’s The New York Times: The New York Times Company Newsweek: Harman Newsweek LLC Outlook: Microsoft People: Time Inc. Pillsbury Doughboy: General Mills Play-Doh: Hasbro

Polo: PRL USA Holdings, Inc.

Pulitzer: The Pulitzer Prizes -- Columbia University

Quaker State: Pennzoil-Quaker State Company

Ray Ban: Luxottica S.r.l.

Residence Inn: Marriott International, Inc.

Seek first to understand, then to be understood: Stephen Covey, The 7

Habits of Highly Effective People

Smokey the Bear: The Advertising Council, Inc.

SportsCenter: ESPN Inc.

Star Trek: Paramount Pictures Corporation

Super Bowl: NFL Enterprises LLC

Superman: DC Comics E.C. Publications, Inc.

Tennessee Titans: The Tennessee Titans.

TGI Friday’s: TGI Friday’s Inc.

The Tennessean: Media West - GSI, Inc.

Toy Story: Disney Enterprises, Inc.

Tupperware: Tupperware

Vandy (Vanderbilt): Vanderbilt University

Volunteers/Vols: University of Tennessee. WSMV (Nashville): WSMV, Nashville, TN. (A Meredith Corporation Station) and WorldNow.