Shadow Dreams

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Author: Anderson Evangeline

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Shadow Dreams Evangeline Anderson Published 2004 ISBN 1-59578-068-8 Published by Liquid Silver Books, imprint of Atlantic Bridge Publishing, 10509 Sedgegrass Dr,Indianapolis ,Indiana46235 . Copyright © 2004,Evangeline Anderson . All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author. Manufactured in theUnited States of America Liquid Silver Books http://lsbooks.com Email: [email protected] Cover Art byApril Martinez

This is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents and dialogues in this book are of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental.

DEDICATION Shadow Dreamsis dedicated to my sister, Eve, for watching Last of the Mohicans with me, one too many times.

Prologue A Navajo Legend Once there was a boy of the Bitterwater Clan of the Dinè, the Navajo People. He lived with his ma`sani, his grandmother in theFour Corners in the Navajo Nation on the reservation. Life was harsh on the reservation and food was sometimes scarce. The grandmother was worried for her grandson.


“Go,” she told the boy. “I will send you to the white man’s boarding school so that you may learn and grow and be strong. But you must promise to never forget the ways of the People.” The boy promised and his grandmother sent him away. He spent most of his time in school, and less and less time in theFour Corners . He received scholarships to go to the white man’s college and every year he saw his grandmother less. He missed his grandmother, but the dust of the reservation stuck in his throat and the taste of mutton stew was sour on his tongue. The air outside theFour Corners seemed sweeter somehow. The boy soon became a man and began to forget the ways of the Dinè. Then one day, when the man had finished school and was working and living far away from theFour Corners , he received a call. ‘Come back,’ he was told. ‘Your grandmother is dying.’ The man rushed back to his grandmother’s hogan to find her lying with her head to the North—the direction of death. “Grandmother,” he said. “I’m so sorry, I never should have left you.” But he spoke in English, not in Navajo and she couldn’t understand him. “Yaàtèeh,” she told him, taking his hand. “Welcome. In all the time you were gone I thought of you every night and every day,” she said. “I prayed for the day when I would see you again with a good Dinè woman as your wife and children of your own to warm my old heart. But you come back to theFour Corners more empty than when you left. Where is your wife? Where are your children?” The man tried to explain that he had filled his days learning the white man’s law and was too busy to find a wife or have children, but again, he spoke English and his ma`sani couldn’t understand. “Speak the language I taught you,” she told him. “Let me hear the words of the Dinè come from your mouth before I die so that my spirit can be released with joy.” The man opened his mouth but found to his shame that he had forgotten every word of Navajo. He could understand his grandmother, but when he tried to say it back to her, his tongue was like lead in his mouth and the words were ashes and dust on his lips. They blew away before he could catch them. “Speak to me!” the old woman cried angrily. “All I ask is a few words in my native tongue before I die.” But the man could not. He shook his head, frowning. “Daìisoltsàa—Listen,” his grandmother said, taking his young, strong hand in her old, crippled one. “You didn’t visit me very often … this I can forgive. But you broke the promise you made when I sent you away. You have forgotten the ways of the Dinè and that cannot be forgiven.” “Grandmother,” he tried to say, but she hushed him again. “This is the curse I leave on you, my grandson. This is my death curse so listen carefully. For the next three months you will live the life of a leechaa`, a dog. You will wander the streets like a chindi, an evil spirit that nobody wants. “For three nights during these three months when the full moon is in the sky you will have the power to be a man again. During this time you must find a woman of the Dinè who will believe in you. She must have courage and love in her heart, enough love to embrace you and the ways of the People which you have forgotten


“When you find this woman, you will find the true man in your heart and the outward appearance will reflect the inward once again. This way, when I look down from the Spirit World I will be able to see the great-grandchildren that you did not give me in life. “If you do not find a woman to believe in you in the next three months, then you must wander the world as a dog forever, never finding a place to call home.” And with that, she died.

Chapter 1 “Come on, Angelina we talked about this already. You don’t feel safe in that big house all alone at night and this is the perfect solution.” My best friend, Barbara, was in lecture mode—I could always tell when she used my full name. “Barb’s right, Jelly.” My other best friend, Patricia, snapped her gum (she was trying to quit smoking) and shoved a hand through her mane of black hair, making the many gold bangles she was wearing jingle. “Besides, this guy looks friendly and you could use a little male companionship lately. Other than your dreamlovah that is.” Barb rolled her big brown eyes and pulled a pen out from behind her ear, being careful not to mess up her sensibly short rust-colored hair. “I think someone has seen Last of the Mohicans one two many times,” she muttered, fishing in her purse for a notepad. “Let’s make a list. C’mon, Jelly, pros and cons.” “Hey, I was drunk when I told you guys about that dream,” I protested, feeling my cheeks start to burn. With my fair hair and pale skin you can always tell in a minute when I’m embarrassed. “No fair using ammunition from margarita night. You know I can’t hold my liquor.” “Whatever.” Patty grinned and popped her gum again. And I had thought second hand smoke was annoying. I reminded myself to buy her some mints to suck on instead. “Pros and cons,” Barbara reminded us. She was a CPA and terribly practical. Making a list was her solution to almost any dilemma. The weird thing was that it usually helped. “I’ll start,” she said. “Protection.” She scratched away at the notepad. “Male companionship,” Patty said promptly, raising her voice to be heard above the increased noise around us. She grinned at me and wiggled her eyebrows. I sighed and looked at them. We’d been tight since high school when we had gone by the nick-name of PB&J, and I knew my friends were right. The only problem was that the ‘male’ companion we were currently looking at had four paws and a tail. And he was behind bars—we were at the local animal shelter trying to pick a pet to keep me company now that my divorce was final. “I don’t know,” I said, raising my voice to be heard above the suddenly increased barking. We were in the outdoor part of the shelter, which was divided into long rows of chain-link separated runs. The dog runs had roofs on them to keep the animals inside safe from heat stroke but the walk-way between them was open to the sky. The four o’clock sun was beating on my head like a golden hammer, making it hard


to think. People can talk about the climate inArizona being a ‘dry’ heat all they want. When it gets to 120 degrees in the shade, you’re going to sweat whether there’s humidity or not. This August was turning out to be a real scorcher and I felt like I was about to melt. “What’s not to know? He seems like a great guy, aren’t you fella?” Patty leaned over and wiggled her fingers through the chain link of the fence in a way that made me nervous. The dog inside the run looked as big as a small pony and he could have taken off her whole hand with a single bite. His fur was as coal-black and his big, bushy tail was beating a frantic rhythm against the rattling fence, adding to the general cacophony of the place. “I’ve just … never been much of a dog person,” I said weakly, watching as the huge black dog licked Patty’s hand with doggy enthusiasm. But I knew I was just stalling. Ever since my ex-husband, Douglas, had moved out six months ago after informing me that he was seeing someone else, the big Victorian house my Grandmother had left me had been terribly lonely. I kept hearing bumps in the night and suspicious sounds that were keeping her up. It didn’t help that the house was situated on the western outskirts ofPhoenix at the base of theWhiteTankMountains . It was one of the last places in the city that had yet to be developed fully and I couldn’t even see my nearest neighbor, just desert plants and the occasional coyote. I was tired of lying in an empty bed at night, worried about the strange creaking of the old house around me and wishing for a man to keep me warm at night. Of course, since it had turned out that the personDouglas was seeing was his personal trainer, Justin, I supposed I wasn’t the only one in my now-defunct marriage that wanted a warm man in bed. I guess my ex-husband took the whole ‘buns of steel’ thing a little too literally. Getting a dog wasn’t a perfect solution, but at least I wouldn’t have to be so afraid at night anymore. I had never lived on my own before the divorce and being the only living soul in the big old house was making me jumpy. So jumpy that I was having weird dreams, which I now regretted telling to my two best friends. “I mean, what breed is he anyway? He looks like a cross between a pony and a wolf,” I said, fiddling nervously with the tight bun of hair rolled at the back of my sweating neck. “He’s a mutt—a mixed breed,” said a new voice behind us. The three of us swung around at the same time to see a no-nonsense woman with mannishly short brown hair wearing khakis and a navy-blue polo shirt with logo of the shelter stitched on the pocket. She was carrying a clipboard with both hands but she transferred it to one and held the other out to me. “You’re the prospective adopter?” I shook her hand, wondering how she could tell. “Well, yes,” I said hesitantly. “I’m thinking about it anyway.” “Any kids or older people living with you?” she asked, consulting the clipboard. “Well, no. Ever since my div—I live by myself,” I concluded. The woman smiled. “Well then, Shadow here might just be the dog for you.” “Shadow?” I raised my eyebrows at the unimaginative name. “Why not just name him ‘Midnight’ or ‘Charcoal’ or something like that?” “You’re free to change it, of course,” she said. (Not getting at all what I was saying.) “I asked about the


possibility of children or elderly people in your household because Shadow is on his second strike. He was picked up about two months ago and the first family that took him had young children. They brought him back the next day because he growled when their toddler pulled his tail and it scared them.” “Did he threaten the child?” Barb had her pen poised over the ‘cons’ column on her notepad. “No, just growled.” The shelter worker shrugged. “Some dogs are more tolerant of kids than others. Especially poorly disciplined kids.” She raised one eyebrow significantly. “You said second strike. Was there another family?” Barbara asked. Patricia, popping her gum, had wandered off to play with a puffy Pomeranian down the row. “There was, an elderly couple,” the woman admitted, glancing at the clipboard again. “Did he growl at them too?” I asked nervously, eyeing the black pony-wolf behind the fence. He whined and tucked his tail between his legs, giving me an imploring look from big brown eyes. “No, he was just too much dog for them. He’s not a puppy anymore—we think he’s four or five, actually—but it’s still hard for an elderly person to control such a big animal. You have to have some strength and the energy to keep up with them. Shadow here loves to run and play, I recommend you take him to the park several times a week. Do you have a big back yard?” “It’s fairly large.” I rubbed at the back of my neck again. She was talking like the matter was already decided. “Perfect.” She made a mark on the clipboard. “Wait a minute, you’re telling us this dog has been returned twice but you want my friend to take it?” You couldn’t put anything over on Barbara. She was the kind of friend you took along when you went to buy a car and didn’t want the dealer to screw you. “Shadow’s a good dog—what we call a one person dog. When he finds the person who’s right for him, it’ll be a perfect match. You can’t find a more loyal friend and protector than a dog who’s completely devoted to you.” “Wow, too bad you can’t get a man like that.” Patty had wandered back over, apparently tired of the Pomeranian. “Well you can’t,” I snapped, a bit too harshly. Then I sighed. “I’m sorry, it’s just been a long day and I’m tired. Maybe we should come back some other time.” The strong smell of dog and other odors that pervaded the place was beginning to give me a headache. My sensible heels crunched as I shifted my feet in the loose gravel outside the runs. “Do you really want to spend another long weekend alone in that creepy old house?” Barbara countered at once, looking up from her notebook. “All by yourself with your ‘dream Indian’?” Patty added. She said it under her breath but I elbowed her anyway. “You can, of course, elect to come back on Monday since we’re closed this weekend, but I’m afraid Shadow will be gone by then.” The shelter woman crossed her arms across a very flat chest.


“What? Somebody else wants him?” Patty went back to wiggling her fingers through the chain-link of his run. “No. He’s scheduled to be euthanized—put to sleep. We get so many animals we can only keep them for a month or so and then if they don’t get adopted, well…” She shrugged, spreading her hands. Behind her Shadow flattened his ears and whined, a high, sad sound that was almost human. “Gee, no pressure,” Patty muttered. “Jelly, would youstop ?” she protested when I elbowed her again. “Can we … could I take him out and pet him?” I asked, almost against my will. The dog was looking at me with those big brown eyes and his tail was wagging in small, hopeful arcs. If he was a person, I would have sworn he was begging me to take him. “No problem.” The shelter worker produced a set of keys that jingled musically against the fence as she unlocked the dog’s run. She bent down to the dog’s level and called to him. “Come on, Shadow. Come on, boy,” she encouraged in a much softer voice than she had used with us. “Come meet this nice lady.” The dog came out at once completely ignoring the shelter worker’s soft voice and Patty’s attempt to lure him closer by patting her knees. Padding over the gravel he came straight to me, lay down at my feet and rested his huge head on my right foot. Then he stared up at me soulfully, and whined softly in the back of his throat. “Aw, look at that.” Even Barbara was completely taken by the dog’s performance. “What a sweetie,” Patty cooed, reaching down to ruffle his fur. Her touch had no effect; the dog ignored her completely. But the minute I reached down to stroke the big, shaggy head he was on his feet and rubbing against me eagerly. A big warm, taffy-pink tongue came out and swiped my hand enthusiastically. “Eew.” I wiped my palm reflexively against the side of my skirt and then wished I hadn’t. Like my dry cleaning bill wasn’t big enough already. The dog nuzzled me apologetically and I patted him again. This time there was no licking. I rubbed behind his ears and those big eyes closed in apparent ecstasy as he enjoyed the attention. His long tail thumped against the gravel. “He’s really taken with you,” the shelter worker said. The dog whined as if in agreement. “Are you a good boy?” I asked him softly. “What agood boy, Shadow.” “Look, we don’t usually do this, but why don’t you take him on a trial basis?” The shelter worker straightened up and looked at her clipboard again. “I’ll get the paperwork ready. You take him tonight and keep him over the weekend. If it doesn’t work out you can bring him back Monday morning. If it does, keep him and mail us the paperwork or else just drop it off with a check for the adoption fee.” “Oh no, the fee is taken care of,” Patty protested. “We’ll pay it right now, won’t we, Barb?” “Not a problem.” Barbara was already whipping out her Visa. “Guys, no,” I protested. “You don’t have to do this, really.” “But we want to.” Barb was already bustling back into the shelter with the worker.


“Consider it a ‘happy divorce’ gift. He’s not the ‘man ofyour dreams’ but what are you gonna do?” Patty gave my arm a little squeeze. I sighed and patted the dog again. “You’re never gonna let that dream drop, are you?” She grinned and popped her gum. “Nope. Barb and I don’t like the idea of you being all alone in that spooky house with no protection. Not likeDouglas was big in the home security department or anything, but at least he was another warm body.” “If you trampled his roses he'd be pretty upset and protective,” I pointed out.Douglas had spent more time in the garden than in our bedroom the last year of our marriage, caring for his precious prize-wining roses. (InArizona they can bloom all year round with proper care.) I sometimes thought he’d put off announcing his intention to divorce me just so he could see the rare Lady Penzance Eglantine roses he’d bought and nurtured at great expense bloom. They were his pride and joy, and I knew it had just about killed him to leave them when he moved out. “Beating up would-be garden vandals isn’t my idea of a real man.” Patty looked skeptical. “You’ve been alone in that house for six months. If you won’t move in with Barb or me, then this is the next best thing.” “I know you didn’t grow up with dogs the way I did, but let me tell you, I think this is a good one. Aren’t you boy?” She ruffled the dog’s fur and got no reaction. “Hmph.” She crossed her arms over her chest, gold bangles jangling. “Looks like he’s only got eyes for you.” The dog looked up at us and barked once, as if in agreement. I could have sworn his eyes were laughing.

Chapter 2 “What am I gonna do with you, huh?” I plopped the grocery bags full of dog food, toys and paraphernalia that Barb and Patty had insisted on buying for me down on my kitchen counter, and turned to face Shadow who was sitting quietly, watching me. He had already made a short tour of the downstairs section of the house, but he appeared to prefer to be with me than scouting around. “I mean, don’t get me wrong,” I continued. “You’re a nice guy, but I never expected to be a dog owner, let alone speak dog.” Though Patty had baby-talked him all the way home, it just seemed wrong to me somehow. Shadow had his head cocked just as though he was listening to me and there was no one there to see me carry on an adult conversation with a dog. “I tell you what,” I picked up the sheaf of blank adoption forms along with the free certificate for neutering that had come with the dog and shook them at him for emphasis. “We’ll give it the weekend and see how it goes. You’d better be very good or we’ll have to call it quits, understand?” Shadow whined and came forward, nudging the hand with the papers. “Oh, all right.” I put down the papers and scratched behind his ears, making him close his eyes in ecstasy again. It was a little disconcerting to suddenly own such a large animal; his head came up to my


waist easily and if he stood on his hind paws he would almost be taller than me.It’s just a trial , I reminded myself, scratching behind the sharply pointed black ears. “What about some dinner?” I asked him. He barked once, as if to say, ‘took you long enough.’ “All right.” I took out the brand new double doggie bowl and put it down on the kitchen floor. I opened the ridiculously expensive bag of gourmet dog food Patty had insisted on buying (though Shadow continued to ignore her she was in love with him) and poured some in. Adding water to the other side of the bowl, I dusted my hands and said, “There.” Shadow looked at me, then at the food, then back at me again. He walked over to the bowl, sniffed and took a few delicate nibbles then sat down to watch me. “You sure don’t eat much for such a big guy,” I remarked, washing my hands to start my own dinner. Maybe he had eaten right before we picked him out. I turned to my brushed steel, top-of-the-line refrigerator and pulled open the door to see what was available. Douglashad insisted on remodeling the entire kitchen when we first moved into my Grandma’s old house. Cooking was another one of his hobbies and he only wanted the best equipment and appliances. I went along with it although I missed the mellow gleam of polished oak, and thought the cold, brushed steel and black marble that replaced it was a poor substitute for the sunny kitchen I had loved as a little girl. Now thatDouglas was gone I was stuck with a high-tech kitchen and no one to use it. Most nights nuking a Lean Cuisine was as gourmet as I got. Tonight was special though. It was Friday night and I had no date, but at least I had a warm body to share the house with. Dog or not, at least Shadow was another living, breathing being I could talk to, even if he did only answer in barks and whines. I pulled out a bottle of red wine and all the fixings for a really nice field-greens salad— goat cheese, pine nuts and a light balsamic vinaigrette. Patty had me hooked on this particular salad, although being the artistic one in our group she made it more elaborate. Grape tomatoes, slicedFuji apples, candied walnuts, what ever suited her fancy at the time—it was never the same salad twice. I liked to stick to the basics as my creativity came out in different ways. Or it had, anyway. I sighed as I realized I hadn’t eventried to write anything in over a year. Ever since my marriage started to fold I’d had writer’s block in the worst way and it didn’t help that my ex-husband had thought my literary efforts were laughable. I tossed the salad and put it in a blue glazed terra cotta bowl decorated with Aztec symbols around the edge. A souvenir of our honeymoon inMexico . Damn.It’s been six months, already, just let it go, I told myself, but it wasn’t easy advice to follow. “You know why you’re here?” I turned to face Shadow who was still watching me with his head cocked to one side. “You’re here because my husband dumped me. Not just for another woman either, no—it was anotherman ,” I told him. I picked up my salad and the glass of red wine and moved to the breakfast nook. I took a long swallow


of wine and continued. “I mean, I should have seen it, right? He loved to garden, he was a gourmet chef, he re-decorated this whole damn place on his own. Not that a straight man couldn’t do all that—I’m not talking about a stereotype per se here,” I told the dog. I plopped down at the small round table and took another big sip of wine. “But I should have figured out a little bit earlier why his favorite TV show was Queer as Folk. Well written plot my ass. Hell, the fact that we only had sex once a month could have given me a clue.” I picked at the salad morosely. “I guess I just didn’t want to know,” I said in a low voice. Shadow padded over to me and laid his huge head on my knee with a low whine. I fondled his fuzzy ears and let my tears fall. Six months and it still hadn’t quite sunk in thatDouglas was gone forever. I kept expecting him to call me up or come over and say that it was all a big mistake. He’d say, “So sorry Angie, I’m not gay after all.” I knew in my heart it was never going to happen, but the pain was still too fresh to let go. My ex-husband was such a jerk, why did I still let him affect me so much? “Sorry, boy, I’m a mess,” I mumbled. “Maybe I should just go to bed. Shame about the salad.” I had barely touched it. I took the blue Aztec bowl over to the sink to scrape the remains of my meal down the disposal but Shadow got between me and the black marble and butted me with his head, whining. “What?” I asked, annoyed. He sat on his haunches and raised his front paws in the air. Clearly he was begging. “Look, Shadow, I know it’s in a big blue bowl just like yours but there’s nothing in here you want, Okay? Here, see for yourself.” I set the bowl on the ceramic tiles and let him have a sniff. “No sausage, no bacon, no…” I stopped. The dog was eating the salad like it was going out of style. He was (and you should pardon the pun) absolutelywolfing it down. In a matter of minutes he polished it off, licking the bowl clean with a few delicate swipes of his long pink tongue. He sat back on his haunches and barked once, as though telling me he was finished. I shook my head. “A dog that likes salad, go figure. All right, so you’re unique.” I set the bowl in the sink and finished the wine in my glass then thought,what the hell, why not drink it all? I’m not usually much of a drinker but I was feeling depressed and reckless. I decided I would take a bath and finish the bottle of wine before hitting the sack. There aren’t many sensual pleasures left for the single gal—a hot bath and a bottle of wine were two of them. If only I had some chocolate my night would be complete. “C’mon, boy, time for you to go out for the night.” I walked to the door that led out to the walled in back yard and yanked it open. “Go on, Shadow. Good boy,” I encouraged. The dog looked at the door and back to me but didn’t budge an inch. He whined appealingly. The message was clear: he didn’t want to go out for the night. I sighed. “Oh, what the hell. The shelter lady did say you were house-trained.” I re-locked the back door and grabbed a folded copy of the paper just in case. “C’mon, boy.” I motioned towards the stairs and this time the dog came at once. The master bedroom had been my Grandma’s and it was the only room I’d absolutely refused to letDouglas redecorate. Now that he was gone, I was very, very glad I had put my foot down. The bedroom was the one place I could relax, a sanctuary of mellow hardwood floors and furniture, polished


to a muted shine by years of beeswax polish and TLC from Grandma. The big old four-poster bed was spread with one of her handmade quilts, a pattern of yellow butterflies and pale pink tulips.Douglas had sneered at her old-fashioned work, but I liked the bright, cheerful fabric. Shadow padded into the room at my heels. His massive wolf-like head swinging from side to side as he regarded everything. Before I flicked on the lamp beside the bed, I saw that moonlight was pouring in through the wide windows on either side. The moon wasn’t full yet but it soon would be. I wondered if Shadow would howl like the wolf he resembled, but he sat silently in the shadows until the golden warmth from the low-watt bulb lit the room. “Okay, boy, here’s the deal,” I told him. I put the half-empty bottle of wine down on the nightstand and began to spread the paper out sheet over sheet on the far side of the bed. “I’m going to let you stay here tonight provided any ‘accidents’ stay on the paper.” I pointed meaningfully at the sheets of newsprint covering the hardwood floor. I knew it was more of a puppy thing but having never owned a dog before, I didn’t want to take any chances that Shadow might not be completely house-trained. The dog walked over to the papers, toenails clicking on the floor, sniffed them and gave me a look that I would have sworn was offended. “Fine,” I said. “Then I guess we understand each other. Now I…” I began to unbutton my shirt. “…am going to take a long, hot bath and kill the rest of this bottle of wine. It’s been a long damn day and I deserve it. I don’t usually drink, you know.” I stripped off the shirt and my skirt as well, wondering why I felt the need to explain myself to a dog. “But tonight’s a special occasion. It’s not every day you’ve been divorced for six whole months.” I turned and stripped off my bra and panties, wincing as I noticed the slight red marks the too-tight bra had left on my shoulders. Barb was always telling me I should look into reduction but Patty always countered that I should keep my generous breasts because men loved breasts. This argument of appearance versus comfort summed up my two best friends to a tee. Personally, I liked my breasts, despite the problem finding bras that didn’t leave marks. An ‘over the shoulder boulder holder’, that’s what we had called a bra for someone with boobs my size in high school. I turned back around, thumbs hooked in the waistband of my silky blue bikini panties, all ready to pull them down when a look at my new dog stopped me. He hadn’t moved any closer but he had his head cocked to one side and he was staring at me intently. Feeling uncomfortable for no reason I could really define, I grabbed the bottle of wine and headed for the bathroom. Shadow started to follow but I made an imperative motion. “No—you stay here. I’m a private bathroom person and I don’t know you well enough to let you watch me take a bath.” I felt ridiculous as soon as the words left my mouth. He was just a dog, after all. Maybe he was lonely and unsure of himself in a new, big house with a new master he barely knew. Shadow whined appealingly and gave me the big brown puppy dog eyes. “No,” I said firmly. I went into the bathroom, shut the door in his doggy face and started a tub of water running. The bathtub was another antique left over from Grandma’s days—a free-standing, claw footed monstrosity big enough to really wallow in. I turned out the lights, lit a cinnamon scented candle and used my best foaming bath oil.


There’s nothing like a good hot soak after a stressful day. I unpinned my hair and let it fall around my shoulders in a silky mass before stepping into the foaming bubbles. I sighed deeply as I relaxed into the water that was just this side of too hot. Grabbing the bottle of wine from the tiled floor beside the tub I took a big swig directly from the bottle. Not very lady-like, I supposed—Douglaswould be horrified. Not that I gave a damn. As I sank into the bubbles, letting the tension of the day melt away, I wondered if I would have my dream again that night. It was funny because my Grandmother used to claim that when you had the same dream over and over again it meant your life was going to change. It was a gift, she said, from our Navajo ancestry—she had been half Cherokee herself but to look at me with my blond hair and dark green eyes, you would never guess that a drop of Navajo blood ran in my veins. The Danish blood from my Father’s side completely overwhelmed it. I had loved my Grandmother dearly, but to be honest I didn’t believe that I had any kind of a ‘dream gift’. I was more likely that I had been without sex so long my subconscious was trying to make up for it. Didn’t take a Freud to figure that one out. The dream I had been having lately was different from any other dream I’ve ever had before. It wasn’t frightening or a nightmare but there was a darker flavor to it. I took another swig of wine. “Darker, hell,” I said to myself. “Erotic is more like it, Angelina. Why not admit it?” I know I’m starting to get drunk when I start talking out loud to myself. Out side the bathroom door Shadow whined softly and I told him to hush. Maybe it was time to lay off the wine. I put down the bottle and sank lower in the tub, not caring that the bubbles were getting into my hair. Maybe if I just closed my eyes for a moment the dream would come to me … I was almost ashamed to admit that I had begun to look forward to it. Barb had attributed it to one too many viewings of Last of the Mohicans but I didn’t think so. Certainly the man in my dreams didn’t look like any of the characters. But then again, hewas an Indian, or Native American, I supposed, was the more PC term. Regardless of the terminology, it didn’t seem terribly likely that I was going to be swept off my feet any time soon by a sexy savage. That kind of thing just didn’t happen outside a romance book, did it? No, I told myself. This was no life changing event, it was just a dream. I sank down until the bubbles were just under my chin, thinking that the water was getting cool and I would have to run some more in just a moment But first I would just rest my eyes a little…

Chapter 3 The next thing I knew someone was lifting me out of the tub. I must have fallen asleep because the water was ice-cold and I was shivering. I was slippery from the bath oil and all my limbs felt loose and disjointed from the wine so he was having a hard time getting hold of me. “Who…” I tried to ask as he finally draped me over one broad shoulder and hauled me out that way. “Never mind. You wouldn’t remember if I told you now anyway.” The voice that answered my question was low and firm and the arms that were holding me felt exceptionally strong. He sat me on the edge of the tub and grabbed a towel, rubbing the rough terrycloth over my dripping


limbs carefully. I shivered convulsively, realizing how cold I was and my skin broke out in a rash of goosebumps. The AC in this part of the house was turned on full-blast, the better to combat the heat of the day and sitting in the chilly air after being pulled from the icy water was most unpleasant. You would have thought that the sudden chill and the drop in my body temperature would have cleared my head somewhat, but the large amounts of wine I had consumed were still working on me and I felt half asleep despite, or maybe because of, my lowered body temperature. It seemed like I ought to be afraid of this strange man who was suddenly in my house. There had been some disturbing reports in the news lately. A serial rapist was loose in my area code. Somehow, though, I just couldn’t make myself panic the way I knew I should. Maybe because it didn’t seem likely that a prospective rapist would take the time to dry me off before getting on with his intended crime. “Must’ve fallen asleep in the bath,” I muttered. “Mmhm,” he agreed. “If you’d stayed in there much longer you probably woulda frozen to death. I tried to get you to come out earlier but you told me to shut up.” “Huh?” I wanted to state that I had never seen him before in my life and in fact, I wasn’t seeing very much of him now. He was just a large shape in the cinnamon-scented gloom of my bathroom. My brain was too muddled by the wine to process this thought, however, and so the inarticulate ‘huh’ was all that came out. “Never mind,” he said again and sighed. He finished drying me and lifted me gently into his arms. “Guess we’ll just have to write tonight off.” I wanted to ask what he meant but something even less intelligent than ‘huh’ might have come out so I kept my mouth shut. I was still terribly cold but being held in his arms was like being close to a portable furnace. He was warm to touch and I pressed my icy cheek against the bare, muscular chest and breathed in a scent like dry sand and warm fur and musk. He shouldered the door of the bathroom open, carrying me like I weighed no more than a doll (which is certainly not the case) and laid me gently on the bed. Someone had already turned down the covers and he slid me beneath the cool cotton sheets and pulling my Grandma’s colorful quilt up to my chin, tucking me in snugly. It occurred to me again that I ought to be concerned that a strange man was in my bedroom and putting me to bed but the amount of wine I had consumed kept me from getting too excited. My eyes wanted to close but I forced them to stay open, trying to study him in the darkness of the bedroom. Someone had turned out the lamp but the light of the nearly-full moon shone through my windows showing a face with high cheekbones, dark eyes that I thought might be brown, and strong, hawk-like features. For some reason he looked vaguely familiar. Long straight hair the color of midnight fell down to bare, broad shoulders. My eyes continued down a muscular torso and lean hips and I realized uneasily that my bathtub savior was as naked as I was. Naked and very well endowed if the sizable shadow between his legs was any indication. “You … you’re naked,” I muttered, gesturing vaguely at his lower body which was mostly hidden in the shadows. “So?” He sat on the side of the bed and brushed the hair off my forehead with a gentle hand. “So are


you,” he pointed out. I wanted to answer but my teeth started chattering. Being separated from his heat and put into the cold bed was too much for my system. He frowned, looking like a thundercloud. “Look at you, freezing to death. Guess I’ll have to warm you up.” He pulled up the covers and bumped me gently with his hip, indicating I should move over. “Wait a minute…” I felt my foggy brain trying to react to the situation. This was definitely not right, no matter how drunk and disoriented I was. “You wanna freeze to death?” he asked, giving me a stern look from those dark eyes. Hesitantly, I shook my head. The gap in the covers had caused me to break out in gooseflesh all over again and I was shivering from head to toe. “All right then, I won’t bite. Never did before, did I?” It wasn’t biting I was concerned with but somehow he was in the bed before I could say anything. He turned to face me and demanded, “Come here.” I don’t know if I would’ve gone to him or not but he didn’t wait for me to come. Instead, he gathered me close in his arms, pillowing my head on his hard bicep while he rubbed briskly over my back and sides with large, warm hands. Acting on instinct I huddled close to his heat, feeling it penetrate my bones. At last my shivering stopped. “That’s better, isn’t it?” he murmured, pulling me even closer. His deep voice vibrated through me deliciously and the brisk rubbing had turned to long, lazy strokes over my sides and back. His musky, wild scent filled my senses and I became aware that something long and hot was branding my lower belly. This wasn’t right—I didn’t even know him. I tried to pull away but he held me close. “I won’t hurt you, just want to hold you. I promise not to do anything you don’t want.” I was still trying to wrap my mind around that statement when it occurred to me why he had looked so familiar. He was the man in my dreams.Just another dream, I thought and was surprised how disappointed I was. But at least it allowed me to relax. He was only a dream, and dreams can’t hurt you. “I know ‘bout you,” I murmured, feeling my eyelids grow heavy again. “In the morning you’ll be gone.” He sighed and his arms tightened around me. “Yeah, you’re right. I was hoping to make a little more headway tonight but the moon will be setting soon. You’re in no condition to listen anyway.” I wanted to ask what the moon had to do with anything but my eyelids felt like they had been dipped in lead. He tilted my chin up and gave me a soft kiss on the lips. His mouth was warm and firm and he buried one hand in my hair to hold me in place and explored me thoroughly while his thickness throbbed against my belly. He tasted wild—delicious. The kiss made my heart pound despite the fact that I knew it was


only a dream. Strange though, my dreams had never been quite this vivid before. “Your husband was a fool,” he whispered, releasing my mouth at last and stroking one large hand through my hair. I opened my mouth to say something, I don’t know what, but just then I lost the fight with my lead-dipped eyelids and everything went black.

Chapter 4 The next morning I awoke with a hideous hangover and the knowledge that I would have to go into the office and finish some work I had left. I had conveniently put this out of my mind the night before when I decided to kill most of a bottle of strong red wine by myself. Groaning, I sat up in bed, wincing as the morning sun lanced at my eyeballs. Shadow came around to my side of the bed and licked my knee with his warm, taffy-pink tongue. “Ugh, I feel horrible,” I told him, scratching absently behind his pointed black ears. “This is why I shouldn’t drink.” He gave a short, sharp bark that sounded somehow disapproving. The sound seemed to go straight through my head like an iron spike in my brain and I winced and pushed him away. “Keep it to yourself, buddy,” I said, staggering out of bed on legs that felt like crooked sticks. Then I looked down at myself. Why was I naked? I never slept in the buff even when Douglas and I were married. For one thing he never seemed to take the hint and for another there was no point in going to bed naked when the person you were sleeping with refused to cuddle. Despite theArizona heat, I was cold natured so I mostly slept in a long sleep-shirt. (My favorite one had been a gift from Patty and had ‘sleep diva’ printed in pink glitter letters across the front.) But now here I was, naked as the day I was born. Come to think of it, I couldn’t even remember getting out of the tub and getting into the bed. I had a brief flash of memory—something about a large man drying me off and talking about the moon? The feel of a hard body against mine and a long, delicious kiss … but then it was gone again. I shook my head. “I must’ve really been out of it last night,” I muttered, going to the bathroom to start the water for a hot shower. **** I let Shadow out into my back yard while I fixed breakfast which mainly consisted of strong black coffee. He sniffed around excitedly and then went modestly behind a tree to answer the call of nature. He came back immediately when he was finished and whined at the door to be let in. I had thought to leave him outside in the yard to play and explore while I did my time at work but the appealing look in his big brown eyes changed my mind. I opened the door and gestured with my coffee mug.


“All right then, if you’re sure you’d rather be cooped up in the house all day than play outside.” He gave a short bark that I took to mean yes. “Well, I know it isn’t much fun to be stuck in here with no company, boy.” I talked to him as I led him into the den which had hardwood floors and seemed the ideal place to leave him. “I’m sorry I have to leave you alone when we’re still getting used to each other,” I told him as I spread the morning paper out in front of the brown and white spotted leather ‘cow-hide’ couch. Douglashad thought it would be fun to have a Southwestern theme for this room, but he had taken many of the decorative touches with him when he moved out. All that remained was the ridiculous couch and a large, potted cactus in one corner. There was still a big screen TV, however, and I grabbed the remote and flipped channels until I got to ‘Animal Planet.’ “There, that oughta keep you happy,” I told the big dog, ruffling my hand through his fur. In a motion so fast I barely saw it, he leaned up suddenly and caught my hand gently between his powerful jaws. The big eyes looked sad and he whined softly in the back of his throat. I held my breath for a moment. He could bite my hand off with no problem if he wanted too. A voice in the back of my head whispered,I won’t bite. Never did before, did I? I shook my head. Where was that coming from? A muddled remnant of last night’s dream, no doubt. “Let me go now, Shadow. Good boy,” I said softly, tugging gently at my captured hand. He released me immediately and I examined my palm and fingers but there wasn’t so much as a tooth-print or a scratch. In hindsight, the gesture hadn’t seemed aggressive at all. It was more like he was begging me not to go. Shadow whined again. “I know, boy, but I’ve just gotta go in and finish this project or my boss will skin me alive come Monday. We have a big client coming for a presentation. Tell you what,” I wiped my damp hand on the inside of my jacket, mentally racking up another dry-cleaning charge. “I promise when I come home we’ll go to the park for a run. Won’t that be fun?” He looked at me doubtfully and then padded over to the cow-skin couch and plopped onto it. Dropping his head on his front paws, he gave me the most desolate look imaginable.Geeze—talk about a guilt trip . I shook my head. I was losing it, letting my dog make me feel guilty. Placing the remote firmly on top of the big-screen TV, which was now showing a documentary on the wildlife ofAustralia , I gave him a final wave and went to work.

Chapter 5 My cell phone rang when I was only a third of the way through the dreaded report that sat on my desk like a dead fish. “So how’s your new buddy workin’ out?” I could tell by the smacking sound in my ear that Patty was gnawing her way through yet another pack of Hubba-Bubba.


“He’s great,” I said, wincing and pulling the phone away as she popped a bubble loudly. “You think you could spit out the gum for just a minute?” “Can’t, Jelly.” I heard another bubble, this one slightly smaller pop. “If I spit it out for one second I’m headed straight for the Virgie Slims hidden in my underwear drawer.” “Patty,” I scolded. “You said you threw all of them out.” “So I lied.” I could almost hear her shrug over the phone. “But I haven’t had a single one since I quit, I swear. It just kinda helps to know they’re there. You know, just in case.” “All right.” I sighed. “I’m hardly the one to be lecturing anybody about bad habits. I killed almost a whole bottle of wine by myself last night. Don’t even know how I got to bed.” I had a brief flash of strong arms lifting me out of the bathtub and then pushed it away. Crazy dream. I heard Patty suck in her breath. “Oh-la-la, that’s quite a bender for our little Jelly,” she snickered, not unkindly. “And what, may I ask, brought on such bacchanal excesses?” “Bacchanalexcesses?” I snorted. “Now you sound like Barbara.” “It’s from the word a day calendar she gave me,” Patty admitted. “But I’m pretty sure it means what I think it means. You can barely get through a glass and a half of wine without getting either all giggly or horribly weepy. What possessed you to try and down a whole bottle?” “I dunno.” I fiddled with the half-done report on my desk and looked out the window at the clear blue sky, wishing I was someplace working on my own material instead of stuck here at work. Why had I bothered to get an English degree if I was only going to use it to write Ad copy? “The wholeDouglas thing—six months to the day and everything I guess,” I said. “Oh honey,” Patty was instantly all sympathy. “I’m so sorry. One of us should have stayed with you last night … I didn’t even think…” “Don’t be silly,” I cut her off. “I’m a big girl. Besides, I had Shadow to keep me company and you’re right, he seems like a really good dog. I think he’s a keeper.” “Well I’m glad to hear that at least,” she said, smacking her gum again. “’Specially since he’s already bought and paid for.” “Yeah,” I stacked paperwork to have something to do with my hands. “He even came with a free neutering certificate, you know? I’m supposed to get him fixed as soon as possible—it was in the agreement I signed.” Patty laughed. “I’d be careful about that, Jelly. It’s just like in that old joke, ya know?” “What joke?” I asked, feeling a little annoyed. Sometimes it seemed like Patty took everything too lightly. I had taken this animal as a responsibility and by-God I was going to live up to my end of the bargain, which included neutering. “You know,” Patty smacked again. “The one about the old lady walking her poodle and she finds a genie bottle on the beach? She rubs the bottle and out comes a genie and he says he’ll give her three


wishes. So she says, ‘I want to be young.’ ‘Granted,’ says the genie and bang—she’s young. So she says, ‘I want to be beautiful.’ ‘Granted.’ Bang—she’s gorgeous. Then he says, ‘You got one wish left. What do you want?’ She looks around and says, ‘I want my little Fifi here to be a big strong man instead of a little poodle.’ ‘Granted,’ says the genie and bang—Fifi’s a total stud. So the genie disappears and … are you ready for this?” “Yeah, I’m listening,” I said, still toying with the paperwork. Patty snickered. “So Fifi the stud turns to her and says, ‘Don’t you wish you hadn’t gotten me fixed?’ Pretty good, huh?” I laughed dutifully, privately thinking it was pretty silly. “Okay, Patty. If I’m ever gonna get out of here today I have to let you go and get some work done.” “Aw, hon—are you at work on the weekend again? That damn boss of yours, that Phelps is a slave driver. You need a new job, ya know that?” “Yeah, I know,” I muttered. “A new job, a new man, a new life … you name it, I need a new one.” “Well at least you got a new dog,” she pointed out. “And as for the man, don’t worry, Jelly.Douglas is not the end all and be all. There’re plenty of fish in the sea and you’re gorgeous.” “Thanks, Patty,” I said, smiling. “I better get going now.” “Okay. Love ya, doll.” She blew me a noisy kiss. “You too,” I said and hung up. **** Barbara called me not long after I hung up with Patty and we had almost the same conversation but without the jokes and gum snapping. I almost told her about the weird dream I’d had the night before but something stopped me. It was just too embarrassing—almost like I wanted a man in my life so badly that my subconscious was making one up. In the end I just thanked her for Shadow and promised to meet up the following week. By the time I was ready to call it a day it was getting near dark. I had grabbed lunch out of a vending machine but I wondered guiltily if the dog food I’d left out had been enough for my new pet. Also, if he hadn’t used the paper he’d be dying to go by now. I was really going to have to find a way to get away from the office more if I was going to be a responsible pet owner. Shadow greeted me eagerly when I got home. Jumping up to place his huge front paws on my shoulders, he gave me a big wet kiss on the cheek. “Easy boy,” I said laughing and wiping my damp cheek with my sleeve. More dry cleaning bills, but how can you be angry with somebody who’s so happy to see you? “I’m glad to see you too,” I told him. “I know you’re probably dying to get out of here. How ‘bout a run to the park like I promised you?” He barked loudly and the big plumy tail swished eagerly.


“Okay then,” I said. “I just have to change and let’s see if we have anything to clean up in here.” I looked down at the papers which seemed to have been rearranged somewhat but there was no mess to be found. I read a few headlines as I gathered the paper together. It looked like the Diamondbacks had lost another game. They stunk ever since they had gotten rid of Schilling. Normally I’m not a big sports fan, but I do like baseball. Then I saw something else which gave me a chill, another woman had been raped in my area code. This was the sixth one and the police were saying that it looked like the work of the same man and were asking women alone to be careful. Although none of us had said it, I knew that the serial rapist who had been making the papers for almost two weeks now was the major reason Barb and Patty wanted me to have a guard dog. Well, now I had one. I shrugged off the dark mood and finished gathering the papers. I threw the rest of the paper in the recycling bin and grabbed the remote to switch off the TV when something struck me as strange. “Hey,” I said, turning off the TV. “Didn’t I leave you watching ‘Animal Planet’? So how come ESPN is on now?” Shadow barked twice and I had the strangest feeling he was laughing at me. Was I going crazy or what? I was certain that I had left the TV tuned to ‘Animal Planet’ and the remote had been in the same place on top of the TV where I left it. So how had the station gotten changed? I looked at Shadow and then back at the remote which seemed to be slightly damp. I shook my head. “No way. No …way,” I emphasized out loud. “C’mon, boy, let’s get out of here. I need some fresh air.” **** WhiteTankMountainParkwas an expanse of desert plain, scattered with native vegetation that held intertwining trails leading up to the mountain and its hidden canyons. I’d always lived inArizona so the lack of Kelly green grass and deciduous trees didn’t bother me, although I knew a lot of people that had moved here from more temperate climates that missed it terribly. The desert has its own green, and I found it beautiful. I let Shadow off his leash and he immediately trotted behind a convenient Palo Verde tree and squatted. He seemed to be taking a long time and I walked around to see if he was still there. “Everything okay, boy?” I asked. He gave me a look I would have sworn was one of offended modesty then stood and trotted around behind a large concealing sage bush to finish his business. “Okay, okay,” I muttered, leaving him to it. “So you’re a private bathroom person too, I guess.” Except he wasn’t a person. I would really have to make more of an effort to remember that. He finished and came galloping back to me, tongue hanging out in doggy enjoyment. I grinned and ruffled his fur. “You wanna go for a run? Is that it, boy?” I asked.


He barked and took off like a flash. “No fair getting a head start,” I yelled, sprinting to catch up. I’ve never been much of a jogger. (Patty always teases me that if I run too fast I might give myself two black eyes—ha-ha, very funny.) But I could tell that Shadow was really enjoying himself after being cooped up in the house all day, so I didn’t try to call him back even when I got out of breath myself and had to slow to a walk. He got further and further ahead of me in the deepening dusk, disappearing into a small black dot on the horizon behind the gorgeous sunset. “Hey, don’t get too far ahead!” I yelled but my only answer was a far-off bark. I hoped he’d come back when I called him in earnest. He seemed like a good, obedient dog but maybe I shouldn’t have been so quick to let him off the leash. There was nothing to do about it now but keep walking, however, which I did while wishing I had picked a park that was a little better lit. The sunset was beautiful—desert sunsets always are. Burnt umber and vermilion and blood red faded slowly behind the mountain, leaving a sky that was bruise-colored and silent. I could see the ghost of the almost full moon high in the sky but aside from that, the park was awash in deep darkness. The orange sodium lights from the parking lot did almost nothing to dispel the gloom. A warm, dry wind ruffled my hair and I walked on up the black-top path that curved into the night. I was wishing I had brought the canister of mace Barb had given me whenDouglas had first moved out. I kept meaning to attach it to my key-ring and kept forgetting to do it. “Shadow?” I called nervously but there wasn’t even a distant bark in return.Great, I knew I shouldn’t have let him off the leash . I began to have that itchy, prickly sensation between my shoulder blades you get when you feel like you’re being watched.Just your imagination, I told myself.Stop being so jumpy. But the feeling just wouldn’t go away. “Shadow?” I called again but the voice that answered me wasn’t my new pet’s. “Hey sweetheart, lookin’ for some company?” I turned quickly, feeling my heart pound in my throat to see the large, bulky shape of a man approaching me in the gloom. “Actually, I’m calling my dog.” I said it as calmly as I could but my voice still came out high and nervous. “He’s quite large and … and extremely vicious.” “That right?” There was a sneer in his voice that said he didn’t believe me for a second. “Yeah,” I said, my voice trembling a lot more than I would’ve liked. “He’s trained to attack on command.” As I spoke I realized that I had no idea if Shadow was protective or not. Possibly he was one of those dogs that was just a big softie and wouldn’t hurt a fly. A friend of Patty’s had a Doberman like that. To see it, you’d think it would tear you to shreds but it wouldn’t attack anybody—just too lazy and good natured, Patty’s friend insisted. But regardless of whether he was viciously protective or not, at least Shadow was imposing, and I was wishing with all my heart that I hadn’t let him run free off the leash and get away from me. “Shadow,” I called again, raising my voice above the chirping crickets. My only answer was the long, liquid howl of a coyote. It was a desolate sound that tore at my insides.


“Seems like your doggie ain’t here ‘less that was him just now,” remarked the man. He moved closer suddenly and I realized I was just standing there like an idiot in the darkness, watching this stranger advance on me. “He’ll be here any minute,” I said, backing up a step, not wanting to take my eyes off the approaching shape. I still couldn’t see his face but the black outline of his body against the night sky was huge and menacing. “Stay away from me,” I said, backing up another step. He came towards me again, apparently through with talking. I saw something glint silver and sharp in one of his hands. I took another step back, a huge, fumbling gesture, what we called a ‘giant’ step when we were kids. My foot landed on a loose stone in the path and suddenly I was on my back, the wind knocked out of me with a harsh gasp. The man laughed, a hoarse, eager sound that was somehow greedy. The silver flashed in his hand again, the cold moonlight skating along the edge of a blade and I knew it was a knife. I didn’t even have the breath to scream as he advanced on me, towering over me like an evil ogre in a fairy tale. But this wasn’t a fairy tale, it was a nightmare. “Please…” I formed the word with my lips but no sound came out. This wasn’t how they taught you to do things in self-defense class, I reminded myself. You were supposed to scream and make as much noise and trouble for your attacker as possible. But the fall had winded me and I felt like my heart was pounding right between my teeth. I couldn’t breathe past its frantic bulk. “This is how it’s gonna be,” he said, kneeling in front of me and placing a rough hand on the inside of my thigh. I had changed into shorts and a t-shirt before taking Shadow to the park. Now I wished I had on long pants, something that offered more protection. “Please,” I said again. This time the words were audible, at least to me. I felt frozen in place. “You’re gonna come with me and we’ll have a little fun,” he continued as though I hadn’t spoken at all. His breath smelled like stale beer and peanuts. “You keep quiet and maybe I’ll let you go afterwards.” The long silver blade was suddenly inches from my face and the hand on my thigh clamped down in a hard pinch that made me gasp. All I could think was,Oh, God, I’m going to die.

Chapter 6 “Leave her alone.” For a moment I couldn’t figure out where this new voice was coming from and then I realized that someone was looming over my attacker in the darkness. The moon was behind him and I couldn’t see his face but his eyes glinted fiercely in the gloom the way an animal’s eyes will glow in the dark.


The eyes in the dark seemed to galvanize me, give me strength somehow. I pulled back my leg and punched it forward, catching the man leaning over me with as much force as I could in the throat. His attention had been focused on the voice behind him and I caught him off guard. With a strangled curse he tumbled to one side clawing at his neck as though he had a bone stuck in his throat. The man with the glowing eyes caught him neatly and I had a blurred impression of several swift, brutal blows being landed as I scrambled away. The back of my t-shirt had rucked up and the loose gravel, still warm from the scorching day-time sun scraped across it mercilessly. I managed to turn and get to my hands and knees and then to my feet. There were tiny pieces of gravel imbedded in my palms. Behind me dull thuds and strangled cries let me know the beating was still going on but I didn’t stop to see who was winning. I stumbled blindly along in the darkness, headed for the dim glow of the parking lot, just wanting to get away. The sounds behind me stopped abruptly and I heard someone shouting. “Hey, come back! I need to talk to you.” The voice sounded vaguely familiar but my world had narrowed to a round black tunnel with the silver shape of my little VW bug at the end of it. I fumbled in the pocket of my shorts for the keys, the breath tearing in my throat and the howls of coyotes in my ears. Far off in the distance there was an angry squeal of a javalina as something startled it. I grasped the keys with numb fingers, pressing the locking mechanism and hearing the familiar double beep that let me know I was almost safe. I was scrabbling at the door handle when there was a familiar barking at my side. I turned to see Shadow’s black wolf-like shape bounding up to me, pink tongue lolling out in a breathless pant. “Shadow!” I threw my arms around the dog’s neck and buried my face in his black ruff for a long moment, trembling and letting the good, clean scent of his warm fur fill my senses. I drew back for a moment when I felt something wet on his muzzle—blood. It was a sticky, nearly black smear on my fingers in the dark parking lot. He must have caught a rabbit. There was a choking gurgle from the path where I had been attacked and I remembered that I had to get the hell away from there. “C’mon, boy.” I opened the VW’s door with a shaking hand and gestured him inside. Shadow looked at the open door but instead of getting in he moved to get in front of me. The fur all over his body seemed to lift, making him look twice as large and a low, rumbling growl built in his throat. “Shadow, come on! We don’t have time for this.” I motioned at the open door and he moved reluctantly to scramble across the seats. I got in behind him and slammed the door, jabbing the key into its slot and shoving the little car into gear. It wasn’t until I had cleared the park’s parking lot and was half way home that I felt safe enough to drive anything approaching the speed limit. I turned to see Shadow staring at me, the full moon reflected in his big brown eyes. He looked out the window for a moment and gave a menacing growl. “So, now you get all protective. Where were you a minute ago when that man was all over me?” I


muttered. He looked back at me and voiced a soft whine that sounded almost apologetic. “Yeah, well,” I said. “If that other guy hadn’t been there … but for all I know he had the same thing in mind as the first guy.” Shadow gave two short, sharp barks and pawed at my leg. “Yeah, that’s what you say,” I told him, frowning. I felt like there was a thin veneer of ice over everything I said and saw. A layer of distance separating me from everything that had just happened to me, or I guess I should sayalmost happened. Everything on the road looked very sharp and clear for some reason. The outline of Shadow’s pointed ears against the night sky outside the window looked like a paper cut-out in the dark. “That’s the last time I let you off the leash, buddy,” I told him.

Chapter 7 We were at the house in what seemed like a ridiculously short amount of time. I got out of the car and let us in, still feeling that thin layer of numbing ice over my emotions. I dumped water and food into Shadow’s double sided bowl feeling like a robot and then climbed the stairs. It had been a very, very long day. I decided I was going to take a shower and go straight to bed. At the back of my mind a little voice was screaming that I had been attacked and I ought to do something about it. But do what? Tell the police? It seemed like too much trouble when I felt so numb. So tired and cold. I let the hot spray wash over me until I warmed up and then shut off the water, feeling if anything, even more tired. I rubbed my hair dry roughly with a towel before sliding into bed, too exhausted to even bother with digging up a nightshirt to wear. It was over and I needed to sleep. I would worry about a police report in the morning. I lay there, curled in on myself, feeling numb, but sleep wouldn’t visit me. Over and over I kept reliving the feel of the man’s hand on my thigh, the stale beer on his breath, the silver glint of moonlight skating over the blade of his knife. What if he had somehow followed me? What if he was outside the house? What if… My bedroom door opened with a low, shuttering creak and I felt a scream catch in my throat. Then there was the sound of toenails clicking on the hard-wood floor and rough fur insinuated itself under my palm. The scream rushed out of me in a low, breathy gasp as I felt the familiar cool nose tickle my finger tips. “Shadow,” I whispered. “Good boy.” I fondled the fuzzy ears for a long time and finally the familiar warmth of my bed and the soft sound of his breathing lulled me to sleep.


“Please…” I say. “Please…” It sounds so stupid. Why can’t I say anything else? Scream, shout, make a commotion. They always tell you to yell fire instead of help because people pay more attention if they might be in danger too.

But the only word that comes out of my mouth is that one syllable supplication. A prayer of one word that makes no sense.

“Please…”

The man is on top of me.

“This is how it’s gonna be,” he says, faceless in the dark, nameless and menacing. “You and me are gonna have a little fun.”

I want to shriek for help or shout for him to get off of me but nothing comes out. Nothing at all besides…

“Please.”

I might be begging him to stop or begging him to do it. How could anyone watching my pitiful performance tell the difference?

He looms over me, stale beer, dark eyes, harsh hands, bright knife, happy to have such an easy victim, such a willing supplicant…

“Please…Please…

“Please! Please, no!” My pillow was bunched in my fists, my face wet with sweat or tears or both as the dream twisted me inside out. “Please,” I gasped again, struggling to get away from the faceless dark man. “Hey, shhh. Don’t—it’s okay.” Suddenly the pillow was taken out of my hands and my face was pressing against a hard, warm wall of muscle instead. There was a comforting smell like dry sand and warm fur with an echo of musk in my nose. “Who … what…?” I mumbled groggily. “It’s just me,” he said in a rough whisper. “Same as last night. Don’t be afraid, you were having a bad dream. My Grandma would say you need a dream catcher in here.”


Very few words penetrated the fog of sleepy terror that still filled my brain like obstructing smoke. Mostly I heard ‘Same as last night’ and ‘dream’ which seemed to explain everything. My dream of the evil, faceless man in the park had inexplicably and blessedly mutated into the recurring vision of my dream lover. Dream or not, he felt solid, and wrapped in his arms I knew I was safe. I buried my face in his muscular chest, taking deep breaths of his comforting, musky scent and willing my heart to slow down. He held me tight and I felt warm breath in my hair as large hands soothed over my back, petting away the stress, calming me as you might calm a frightened animal or a trembling child. “Okay, it’s okay…” His voice was deep and he murmured words of comfort and protection into my hair. Gradually I felt my body relax against his and I realized there were no clothes separating us. Warm smooth skin slid under my palms as I rubbed tentatively across the broad planes of his chest. A low, appreciative rumble vibrated through my fingertips and I felt the hard, heavy weight of his shaft pressing against my thigh. Suddenly he rolled me over so that he was on top of me. His eyes in the moonlight coming through my window were shadowed. I wanted to protest but then his lips were on mine and he was feeding me heat and need and want, petting my tongue with his and making me moan helplessly into his mouth. God, how long had it been since I’d had a man, a real man in my bed? Sex withDouglas has never been anything to shout about and it had been nearly non-existent for the last six months of our marriage. A year—a year at least since I’d had anyone touch me—love me. I felt like a starving woman suddenly invited to a feast. The deliciously solid feel of his hard body against my own and the warm scent of him surrounding me was intoxicating. His black hair feathered against my skin in a warm sheath, a coarse, silky curtain that filtered the light of the setting moon. He came up for air at last, releasing my mouth, although I could have gone on kissing him forever. “Why…?” I whispered, wondering why he’d stopped. “Don’t have time to do this right,” he said, his voice low and hoarse. “Have to do the best we can.” He dipped his face to my neck and his lips brushed me softly, a hot, open-mouthed kiss that made my breath catch in my throat. “That’s good,” he whispered and I felt large, capable hands on my breasts, cupping them, rolling the nipples with just enough force to make me moan. “What?” I whispered and then he was moving down my body, sucking my sensitive nipples into his mouth, nipping and licking the slopes of my breasts until I moaned and bucked upwards to meet him halfway—offering myself. Each twist of his fingers, each gliding stroke of his tongue over my flesh seemed to send a spark of electrical current to the hot, damp vee between my thighs. Then he was moving lower, parting my legs with long, talented fingers. I felt his hot breath against my inner thighs and a slow lingering kiss against the inside of one knee. And then his mouth moved downward. To be tasted this way, to be kissed here, in the most intimate and vulnerable part of my body, was something I had often wished for—somethingDouglas had never offered to do. And


something which scared me to death. I would be too exposed, too open… “No!” I gasped, trying to close my legs. This might be a dream but it was getting entirely too real for me. A low growl was my answer, a sound that was possessive, almost animalistic. “Told you we don’t have much time.” His voice was rough with dark, insistent hunger but his hands on my knees were gentle, coaxing. “Spread your legs for me, Angelina. Let me taste you, baby.” Just a dream,I reminded myself.It’s just a dream so why not? Why not let him? I couldn’t answer that question but my body answered it for me. I felt the muscles in my thighs trembling, weakening and then he was spreading them apart, spreading me open. I could feel the hot, ticklish sensation of his tongue bathing the inside of my knee and tracing a trail down my inner thigh to the soft junction where it joined my body. “Don’t … I…” “Relax, baby. Not gonna hurt you. Just gonna taste your sweet pussy,” he whispered. “God, I’ve wanted to do this from the first minute I saw you.” His head dipped again and I felt large warm hands lifting my pelvis towards his seeking mouth. I reached down blindly, feeling the smooth skin of his broad shoulders slide under my palms and then his mouth was on me. He kissed me gently at first, firm but teasing as though he was kissing my mouth. Then callused fingertips parted the folds of my sex and I felt the indescribable glide of wet heat over my aching slit as he bathed the sensitive bud of my clitoris with expert care. I moaned and bucked upwards—I couldn’t help it. It felt like a jagged shard of lightening had electrified all my senses at once. “Like that, baby?” His voice was a low rumble in the dark and I found I couldn’t answer in words. Instead I arched my back, spreading my thighs wider and offering my body to him shamelessly. I felt wanton, wild,hot . I would never act this way with a real lover but it was a dream, only a dream. He bent his head again and I felt the wet slide of his tongue parting my folds and then circling the heated bundle of nerves at my center. My seeking hands found his thick hair and I worked my fingers into it and pressed up to meet his mouth. It seemed like I couldn’t hold still beneath him. My hips bucked up to meet him of their own accord and my fingers laced through his licorice-black hair urged him on. I could feel my heart throbbing in every part of my body at once and a slow, deep heat was building between my thighs where his tongue was buried, piercing to the center of me as he tasted the deepest part of my need. The slow, deliberated thrust of his tongue in my sex was good but I needed more. I wanted to beg him to take me, to give me what his tongue was promising but I couldn’t make any words come out of my mouth. It was too busy making soft, broken noises, helpless sounds of pleasure that I could neither stop nor control. I couldn’t tell him what I needed but he seemed to understand anyway. Rising up a little, he withdrew his tongue and replaced it with two long, strong fingers. I cried out loud as I felt the delicious deep thrust inside my cleft and then he was sucking my clit between his lips, licking and tasting me relentlessly while he pressed deeper and deeper inside my sex, as though he was searching for my soul.


I felt the hot wash of orgasm break over me in a sudden flood and there was a high, keening wail, not unlike the lonely call of the coyote I’d heard earlier that night at the park. It was me. I was trembling under his hands, under his mouth, coming apart in a sweet flood of release as he lapped at me, tasting my intense pleasure. “God, you’re delicious. You sing so sweet for me, baby,” he murmured at last. And then he was on top of me again and I welcomed the heat of his big body, welcomed the feel of his thick shaft between my thighs. He took my mouth in a searing kiss, feeding me the taste of myself as he sucked my tongue the way he had sucked my clit. I felt the velvety slide of his cock parting the lips of my sex as he rubbed over me, against me, but never quite inside me. “Please,” I whispered and this time the word held no fear or doubt. I wanted him in me—neededhim in me, filling me, fucking me, owning me. “Wish I could but there’s no time,” he whispered. I saw him glance up over my shoulder through the window and a shadow of something like fear or regret passed over his hawk-like features. “I better go now,” he said, beginning to pull away. “There isn’t enough time.” “Wait,” I protested but then he was leaving me, pulling away despite my efforts to hold him. “Later … we’ll talk later.” The low voice faded into the darkness and I knew somehow that there was no point in following him. How can you hold onto a dream when it fades away? I rolled on my side instead and watched the moon through the window as it sank into the blackness of the sky like a white stone disappearing into a pond.

Chapter 8 The persistent ringing of my bedside phone woke me and for a moment I felt disoriented. Shouldn’t there be someone beside me in bed? Then I remembered yet again that it had been six months since the divorce and the only person in my bed since was just a dream. I was just going to have to get used to sleeping alone. “H’lo,” I mumbled sleepily when I finally managed to fumble the phone off the hook. “Angelina, are you okay?” It was Barbara and I could tell she was upset. “’Course I’m okay,” I said, sitting up in bed and trying not to yawn in her ear. “What’s wrong?” “Oh,” she sighed in obvious relief. “It’s just that I was watching the morning news and … didn’t you tell me you were taking Shadow for a run in the park when you got off work yesterday?” “Yes,” I said and suddenly everything hit me at once. The park, the man who’d attacked me, the stale stench of his breath and the malevolent glint of his knife… “Oh my God,” I whispered, half to myself. How could I have forgotten such a horrible thing? It should have been uppermost in my mind the minute I woke up, but instead all I could remember was that I’d had that damn dream again.


“What is it?” Barb still sounded plenty worried and I hastened to reassure her. “Nothing, Barb. I … I’m fine. What did you see on the news?” “Well, now don’t get excited, hon, but they found something in theWhiteTankMountainPark . Was that the one you went to?” “No,” I lied immediately, although I wasn’t sure why. “Why, what did they find?” “There was a man found on the path—badly beaten but that isn’t what killed him. He had his … his throat was ripped out, Angelina,” she finished in a rush. “He had a knife and they found some rope and a gag in his car. They aren’t for sure, but they think he might be the serial rapist that’s been around your area.” “Oh, you mean the one we never talked about?” I said, still feeling numb.His throat ripped out? I remembered the blood on Shadow’s jaws and the choked gurgling sound I’d heard coming from the dark path. Surely not … surely that blood belonged to a rabbit… “Be fair,” Barbara was saying as I tried to pull my mind back to reality. “You know Patricia and I knew about it. And we knew you knew about it. We just didn’t want to upset you, hon.” “I know,” I said and sighed.It must have been a rabbit. It had to be. I needed to get off the phone and think. “Listen, now that you got me up I really ought to let Shadow out. So far he seems to be completely house-trained but…” “Oh, yes, Shadow. I almost forgot,” she interrupted me. “You do remember about his appointment tomorrow, don’t you?” “What appointment?” I stretched, trying to get rid of the tingling feeling in my limbs. I must have slept like a rock. “Thevet’s appointment,” Barb said. “Don’t you remember?” “No,” I said, feeling irritated. I wanted to get off the phone and try to think everything through, not sit in bed naked all day talking on the phone. Naked, what was I doing naked? It looked like I was beginning to make sleeping in the buff a new nighttime practice. “Geeze.” Barb sighed, a long-suffering sound that never fails to make Patty or myself feel guilty. She knows it too. “I guess that whole lecture about responsible pet ownership went right in one ear and out the other. The woman at the shelter even went out of her way to make the appointment herself.” “Well I’m sorry she went through the trouble and Ido intend to be a responsible pet owner, but there’s no way I can get him anywhere tomorrow,” I said. “We’ve got a huge presentation for the Bardine Corporation and if I miss one second of it Phelps will kill me.” (Ronald Phelps was my boss, and sometimes nemesis, at Thackery Advertising Agency where I worked. Didn’t much like him.) “I was at the office most of yesterday just trying to finish the report and get prepared for the damn thing,” I told Barbara. “Everything has to be perfect.” “Oh, Jelly, I’m sorry.” She sounded really contrite on the phone. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that the woman kind of bent the rules for us, letting you take him over the weekend and everything…”


Just then the topic of conversation himself came clicking into the room. He stopped by the edge of the bed and barked once, looking at me expectantly. “Hey, is that him?” Barbara sounded delighted. “Yup,” I ruffled the fuzzy pointed ears that had given me such comfort the night before when I was trying to drift off to sleep. “Look, Barb, I really should go. I think he needs to go out.” Shadow’s big plumy tail swished as though in agreement. “Okay, hon, I’ll let you go. Listen, tell you what. I’ll drop in tomorrow morning and take him myself. I’ve got your spare key and I don’t have any clients scheduled until ten.” “Oh, Barb, are you sure you don’t mind?” I said, ruffling his fur. Shadow barked again. “Not a problem,” she said dismissively. “Just leave his paperwork out where I can find it, okay?” “Will do. Thanks a million, you’re the best,” I told her. “You’d do the same for me,” she said. “Besides, I’m just glad you’re all right. At least there’s one less sick-o out there to worry about.” “At least,” I agreed. **** I got dressed and let Shadow out. While I watched him waterDouglas ’s prize rose bushes through the kitchen window I sipped a cup of coffee and considered things carefully. Why had I lied to Barb about being inWhiteTankPark the night before? It had been almost a reflex but now I was glad. If Shadow had killed the man who’d been intent on attacking me, I didn’t want anyone knowing it. Not even my best friends. I sighed and poured the rest of the coffee down the sink. At least there was one less thing on my itinerary today. Going to the police was out. They wouldn’t let me keep an animal that might have killed someone, even if that someonewas a serial rapist. I would have to keep things to myself and be more careful in the future. I whistled for Shadow to come inside and made sure the door was locked behind him. Time for a shower. Despite the trauma of the night before I felt rested and relaxed which seemed strange. Was it because of the recurring dream I kept having? What I could remember of the one last night made me blush. The dream seemed to get hotter and hotter every night I had it. And I felt I could’ve recognized my dream lover anywhere—he was becoming that real to me. That’s not necessarily a good thing, Angelina,I lectured myself as I went for the shower, Shadow trotting at my heels.Having hot dreams is one thing, beginning to believe them is something else. It was time to get back to reality.


Chapter 9 “Come on, boy. Time for bed.” I patted my leg and Shadow got up from his place on the couch and followed me eagerly. We had been watching an old movie, a black and white one with no sex or violence, on the Classic Movie station. It was refreshing for a change. Lately I felt like I’d had enough sex and violence to last me a lifetime. Well, violence anyway. I hadn’t caught the name of the movie but it reminded me of my Grandma. She’d died when I was nineteen, but I remembered so many times when I was a little girl and a teenager going to her house and staying up late talking and watching those old black and white movies with her. She’d bake a batch of her famous Snickerdoodles and we’d curl up on the couch under a few of her homemade quilts and watch movies from a gentler, quieter time. I’d tell her my latest batch of problems and she pat my knee and tell me to relax because everything was going to be fine. “Child, I never saw such a worrier,” she’d say. “If you weren’t borrowin’ trouble I wouldn’t know you.” Then she’d laugh and kiss me. I sighed and wiped away a tear that had found its way down my cheek. It had been almost ten years since she died but I still missed her. Somehow her comforting presence still seemed to permeate the old house despiteDouglas ’s ugly redecorations. I was settling into bed, wearing my favorite ‘sleep diva’ night shirt (no more sleeping nude for me, thank you very much) when the phone rang. I glanced at the clock, it was past ten and I was trying to get an early night so I’d be fresh for the Bardine pitch on Monday. If it was Patty I was prepared to be firm. I had to get some sleep. “Hello?” I said, lifting the receiver to my ear. “Angie?” The voice made me stiffen immediately. There was only one person who called me that. “Yes, Douglas. What do you want?” We hadn’t spoken in almost three months, when he’d come by to pick up the last of his things. It hadn’t been a very pretty scene but then, no scene between myself and Douglas had been very pretty in the last year. Lying on the floor beside the bed, Shadow perked up his ears and growled. “What do I want? That’s not a very friendly greeting,” he said, as though we were long lost friends instead of recently divorced ex-spouses. “Why should I be friendly?” I said. “It’s late, Douglas, and I have a big presentation tomorrow. What do you want?” “I can’t talk to you like this,” he said, his high, nasal voice sounding annoyed. “Fine, then hang up,” I started to say but a new voice came on the line. “Angelina?” I sighed deeply. It was Justin, my ex-husband’s personal trainer and boyfriend. “Yes, Justin, how are you?” I said as politely as I could. Strangely, I had never felt nearly as bitter and angry at Justin as I had atDouglas . I guess I didn’t feel so much that Justin had taken my husband from


me as thatDouglas had defected on his own. If it hadn’t been his personal trainer it would’ve been some other hapless schmuck, the mail man, or the UPS guy, or somebody from his gardening club. In a way, I felt sorry for Justin because he had yet to learn what I had found out a long time ago. Gay or straight,Douglas was a jerk. “Angelina, we’re sorry to call so late but we just got back into town…” “Spare me,” I interrupted him. I didn’t need to hear yet another story about one of their romantic weekend retreats. Now thatDouglas was out and proud, he was suddenly into all kinds of last minute ‘get-ways’. When we had been married I was lucky to get him to take me to the Quik-Trip for a Slurpee. Now he was the ‘Travel King.’ Or Queen. Or whatever. “Look, the point is that there’s a very important gardening competition coming up andDouglas would really like to have some of his roses to enter. Now I know you two didn’t part on the best of terms, and the judge ruled that the rosebushes were part of the property belonging to the house…” “Didn’t part on the best of terms?” I snorted, sitting up in bed. It was a definite understatement. There had been a huge, ugly scene in whichDouglas informed me he was gay and that I could never meet his physical and emotional needs. There had been screaming and name-calling and I admit to throwing some of my ex-husband’s more expensive and breakable decorating touches at his head. I do have a temper when provoked. “But as a gesture of goodwill,Douglas is willing to let by-gones be by-gones and he just wants to stop by and…” “Forget it, Justin,” I said flatly. “Those rosebushes are the only changeDouglas made to my Grandmother’s house that I actuallylike . He ruined my kitchen and the only thing left of his ‘Southwestern’ den is that stupid cow-hide couch and a potted cactus.” “Actually, he was sort of wondering about that cactus too…” “No cactus and no roses,” I said. “Douglasshould have thought a little more about how much he loved those roses before you two started pumping iron together or whatever it is you do.” I slammed down the phone feeling a vindictive sort of satisfaction that comes from getting the last word. Shadow barked once, sharply. “I know,” I said, ruffling his fur. “Showed him, didn’t I?” Then I burst into tears. Shadow whined and jumped up to put his front paws on the bed. He nuzzled my shoulder and gave my cheek a big messy swipe with his taffy-pink tongue. “Okay, all right … enough already.” I held him off with some difficulty, grinning through my tears. He might not be human but it felt good to have someone who cared around. I stroked his ears and he barked again. “Now just look at me,” I told him, indicating my messy face. “I’m all over tears and dog slobber. I need another shower.” Sighing I got out of bed and decided to take a bath instead. I was way too wound up to sleep right away


and a bath would help relax me. Shadow whined again and pressed against my legs as I tried to walk to the bathroom. “Come on, boy. Get out of the way,” I told him impatiently. “I’ll be back in a little while.” He gave up and laid his huge head on his paws, staring up at me reproachfully. “Geeze,” I muttered, stepping around his bulk to get to the bathroom. “Anybody would think I was a bad owner, not spending enough quality time with you.” I shook my head and closed the bathroom door behind me. **** I had been soaking in the tub for less than forty-five minutes when I heard something outside the window. I sat up in the tub and leaned forward. There it was again—a low clatter and then the unmistakable murmur of voices. Someone was trying to break into the house! I got out of the tub as noiselessly as I could, trying to remember if I had locked everything up tightly before going to bed. I didn’t bother with a towel, instead I wrapped myself in the silky pink robe hanging on the back of the door and snuck to the window. Being a bathroom window it was small and didn’t open very far. I couldn’t get my head out far enough to find out what was going on. The smartest thing would have been to dial 911, but I didn’t even think about it. All I could think about was that someone was breaking into my house and I didn’t want to sit passively by and let it happen. The way I had frozen at the park when the would-be rapist had attacked me really bothered me. I was determined not to freeze up again. “Shadow, come,” I whispered, slipping out of the bathroom with the slinky pink material of the robe sticking to my damp skin. He whined uneasily and I could see the fur at the back of his neck standing up. He had heard the noises outside as well. Together we padded noiselessly down the stairs and I kept hearing the ominous scratching and muttering just outside whenever the AC cut out. Shadow whined once more but never barked; he seemed to understand the need for silence. I listened carefully when we got downstairs to the back of the house. They were outside in my back lawn, probably trying to get in through the same door I let Shadow out by. But no … I crept a little closer, jumping when I heard an odd scraping sound. They were outside but it didn’t sound like they were at the door after all. Could they be trying to get in a window? But why? I dared to get right up to the crack in the door and listened hard. Shadow pressed against my legs, a low growl building in his throat. Clearly he was eager to get to the intruders. The voices were muffled but I could definitely detect two different tones above the scraping sounds. Suddenly I wasn’t scared anymore—I was angry. What right did these men have to come bother me in the middle of the night like this? I thought of the man who’d attacked me in the park the night before.That dirty son of a bitch… I was sick of feeling like a helpless victim. I was so filled with rage that if only I’d had a gun in my hand I could have shot the intruders without hesitation.


Well, I didn’t have a gun but I had something just as intimidating. I flung open the door and gestured for Shadow. “Go get ‘em, boy,” I yelled, but he didn’t need any urging on my part. He was out the door like a shot with a tremendous volley of barking that would have made the bravest burglar wet his pants. I was about to follow him out when I realized what a stupid thing I was doing. Even with Shadow to protect me I had clearly heard two voices. What if he couldn’t handle two men at once? I needed a weapon. I ran back upstairs as fast as I could to get the mace Barbara had bought me. After a frantic scramble in my underwear drawer I found it under my black lace panties and charged back down stairs again, ready to take on anything. I expected to hear more barking or growling when I reached the open back door but instead there was an ominous silence. Oh my God!I clutched the mace to my chest, my heart-beat going a mile a minute. Was Shadow all right? Suddenly it seemed like a very stupid thing to have done, letting him out like that. What if they had a gun or a tazer? What if he was lying out there hurt right now? What if…? “Shadow?” I yelled, unable to stand the suspense any more. I moved carefully towards the door, holding the mace out in front of me stiff-armed as though it was a gun. I was going to spray the first person I saw. There was a low muttering like several people talking and then I heard a familiar voice yelling my name. “Angie? My God, Angie, call him off! We weren’t going to take them all, I swear!” “Douglas?” I gathered the silky folds of the robe closely around me and dared to step outside. The ground was rough under my bare feet and the night smelled like dust and sand and uprooted roses. All along the back of the house, several of the rare bushes thatDouglas had put in and tended so carefully were laying on their sides, roots exposed. The delicate blooms were lying with their faces in the dirt and I had to step carefully to avoid getting a thorn in my foot. “Douglas?” I yelled again because he wasn’t in sight. “Around here.” His voice drifted around the side of the house. I was edging around the uprooted rose bushes towards the sound of his voice when a familiar bark echoed in the empty yard and Shadow came trotting out of the darkness. “Shadow!” I stopped for a moment to examine him, pleased to see he was all right. “Good boy,” I told him, ruffling his fur affectionately. “I think you really scared the living shit out of them. Let’s go see, huh?” He barked again, agreeably and we went around the side of the house to find Douglas and Justin huddling together on the ground looking utterly terrified. They were both dressed in all black, which for my ex-husband meant black jeans and a black polo shirt and for his boyfriend, skin-tight black biker shorts and a black tank top. They had smeared some kind of black grease all over their faces like they were going on a top-secret commando-style mission instead of stealing rose bushes in the middle of the night.Well,Douglas always did have a flair for thedramatic , I thought. They looked like two terrified boys caught playing war out past their bed time.


“What the hell do you think you’re doing here,Douglas ?” I asked, trying not to laugh. “What the hell does it look like?” he snarled, still crouching awkwardly on the ground. “Trying to get back what’s mine.” “Itlooks like you and Justin are out here playing Navy Seals,” I said, crossing my arms and tapping my fingers impatiently. “And may I remind you that those rose bushes were bought mostly withmy money and planted onmy property? Why are you two still laying on the ground like that?” I asked because neither of them had moved an inch from their original positions. “He’ll kill us if we move.” Justin’s voice, usually deeper thanDouglas ’s, was no more than a thin whimper. “Oh, come on now, boys, I know he’s big but he’s just a dog,” I protested, thinking they were both overreacting. Shadow barked and they both jumped. I felt a little sorry for Justin. His grease smeared face was tense with fear and I thought he looked like an abused and neurotic chimney sweep—if a chimney sweep ever went to work in biker shorts, which I doubted.Douglas , on the other hand, was glaring pure malevolent hatred at me from his narrowed gray eyes. “I was the one who cared for those roses, Angie.Me .” He spoke coldly, keeping his eyes on Shadow and not moving a muscle. “Yes, I know that,Douglas .” I felt a muscle twitch in my face. “You cared a hell of a lot more for the roses than you did for our marriage.” “Can you blame me?” he sneered. “Those roses gave me more pleasure than you ever did, my dear.” “Douglas,” Justin hissed. “Now isso not the time for this!” “To hell with that!”Douglas stood suddenly and reached for me. I don’t know what he intended to do but before I could even bring my can of mace into attack position, Shadow was between us. He looked up at my ex-husband, a low, menacing rumble building in his throat, every hair in his licorice-black coat bristling. As he was a big dog andDouglas was a rather small man, Shadow didn’t have far to look. “Whatever you were planning on doing I wouldn’t,” I toldDouglas casually, crossing my arms again. My ex-husband was such an ass, it felt good to have the upper hand for once. “He’s very protective.” I nodded at Shadow whose growl deepened. “Yes, I can see that.” His face twisted into a hateful sneer. “So glad you finally found someone who could put up with you, Angie.” “That’s totally unfair,” I said, feeling the muscle in my jaw begin to clench again. “If anybody was high-maintenance in our relationship it was definitelyyou .” “So sorry if I impeded your relentless march towards tedium,darling .” His voice dripped venomous sarcasm. “How is your life lately, anyway? I bet you just have to beat the men off with a stick.” “You’re an asshole,Douglas ,” I said flatly, feeling my jaw clench as it always did when I was around him. “You always have been and you always will be.” How could I have ever thought I loved this man?


“Why don’t you just admit you’re upset because I found someone so much more entertaining than you to spend my valuable time with?” He smiled and it was an expression you’d imagine seeing on a shark’s mouth before it took the first bite. “Your valuable time? Give me a break,” I said, trying to sound calm. “Yes, my dear, valuable. I realized just how valuable when it occurred to me that I was wasting my life with you. Oh, and by the way, how are you spendingyour time these days? Written any Pulitzer-class material lately, or is it the same old dreary ad campaigns?” I couldn’t help wincing at that.Douglas knew my writing, or lack thereof, was a sore spot with me, and he had always been quick to bring up the most hurtful thing he could in any argument. I took a deep breath, willing myself not to cry because this asshole wasn’t worth it. I could see by the wide, toothy grin onDouglas ’s face that he knew he’d scored points on me and it delighted him. I debated spraying him with mace or siccing Shadow on him again and decided to do neither. “Thank you,” I said at last, holding myself in by main force of will. “For what?”Douglas looked puzzled and not nearly as pleased as he had. I knew he’d wanted to see me blow up and lose my temper or even better, break down and cry. I was happy not to meet his expectations. “For reminding me why I’m better off without you,” I said. I stood up straighter and tightened the flimsy pink robe around myself with one hand. The other I rested lightly on Shadow’s head, drawing strength from the big dog’s warmth and the low growl that still vibrated his massive throat. “I’m going to count to ten,” I told my ex-husband. “And you’d better be gone by the time I reach it or you’re going to get to know my new friend a lot better than you want to. One.” “But the roses … my Lady Penzance Eglantines, they’ll die,”Douglas protested weakly. Beside him, Justin was already scrambling to his feet. “Should’ve thought of that before you pulled them out by the roots,” I said calmly. “Two … three…” “Douglas, comeon. ” Justin’s face was a mask of black-smeared terror as he tugged at my ex’s arm. I thought it odd though that instead of looking at the menacing Shadow he was staring over my shoulder as though expecting a hideous new monster to appear out of the blackness at any second. “Four,” I said. “Five.” Douglasstood firm although his face was beginning to crumble. “I’m not afraid,” he said uncertainly. But it sounded more like a question than a statement of fact. “WellI am, damn it!Douglas , come now or I’m leaving you.” Justin was already backing towards the side gate that led out of the big back yard. “Six … seven…” I said. I could feel Shadow tensing beside me, waiting for my signal. “You wouldn’t leave me.”Douglas turned to face his boyfriend, the uncertainty beginning to show in his


body language. “Eight,” I said. “Oh yes I would. I know you love those roses but you can always grow more. Whereas there’s no way you can grow a new set of balls.Remember what he said ,” Justin emphasized, almost to the gate. “Nine,” I said, wondering what the hell he was talking about. “I’d leave now if I were you,Douglas . It looks like your boyfriend has the car keys.” Douglaslooked over his shoulder one last time at Justin who was disappearing into the night. He turned back to me with a look of pure hatred contorting the features I had once thought so handsome. “You’ll be sorry for this, Angie. I promise you’re going to pay…” “Ten,” I said in a deadly calm voice. “Shadow…” ButDouglas was gone, melting into the night as quickly as he could and I could hear him arguing with Justin and calling the other man a coward all the way to their car. I shook my head. Poor Justin, he’d just have to learn the hard way. The same way I had.

Chapter 10 “Come on, boy, let’s see what we can do about those roses,” I said, patting my leg. Shadow still stood stiffly to attention but at last he followed me with a last low growl for my ex-husband’s retreating tail lights. I sighed. I wasn’t above lettingDouglas think his prize roses were going to die, but I wouldn’t actually let them. I had been serious when I told Justin they were the only good thingDouglas had done to my house. Rounding the corner I knelt in the sandy dirt and began trying to replace the delicate bushes in the holes they’d come out of. The roots were a sad, tangled mess, much like my emotions. I could only hope that they hadn’t been too traumatized to take root and grow again in the roiled ground. By the time I was done the moon was getting lower in the sky and I was a filthy mess. My arms and hands were covered with scratches from the thorns and the pink silk robe was a total write off. But the roses were back in the ground and didn’t look too bad. I wished I could say the same for myself. “C’mon, Shadow,” I said wearily, climbing to my feet. “Let’s go.” It was time to hit the showers for the third time that night and then to bed. Shadow followed me eagerly inside. For the past half hour he had been whining and pacing uneasily. He kept staring at the night sky and pawing at my leg as if to hurry me up. I couldn’t understand his behavior but now that we were going inside he seemed to be all right again. After a shower I went to bed naked (I’d done it for two nights now, why break the streak) feeling numb and emotionally exhausted. It occurred to me that I was feeling that way a lot lately. I tried to tell myself that I’d just had a traumatic couple of days but that wouldn’t fly. I realized there was a lot wrong with my life and not all of it includedDouglas .


I hated my job. I was lonely and miserable out here in the big house at the end of Idlewild Lane and I wasn’t doing what I wanted with my life. I thought aboutDouglas ’s hateful words, his statement that he realized he was ‘wasting his valuable time’ with me. Well what had I been doing but wasting my own valuable time lately? Spinning my wheels. Writing Ad copy when what I wanted to be writing was something completely different. Maybe even a novel. And why not? “What am I going to do with myself?” I whispered quietly into the darkness. The last thing I expected was a reply. “What do you want to do?” a low voice whispered in my ear. I screamed—I couldn’t help it. The voice was familiar, it was a voice from my dreams, and though I was exhausted, I still felt wide awake. Could I have drifted off without realizing it? “Hey, it’s just me. Take it easy,” the voice behind me in the darkness protested. I felt the bed shift as he climbed in beside me. “W … who…” I stuttered, forcing myself to turn and face him. By the light of the full moon shining in through my window I saw the hawk-like features and deep brown eyes of the man in my dreams. “It’s me—Shadow,” he said a touch impatiently. “That’s the name of my dog,” I protested, feeling numb. “Exactly,” he answered, as though it was the most reasonable thing in the world. “I’m under a curse. I could explain but it’s a long story and thanks to your asshole of an ex-husband we don’t have much time.” “Much time for what?” I asked nervously. It occurred to me that I was naked and so was he. I sat up and pulled the covers up to my chin, hiding myself as well as I could. “Little late for that, don’t you think?” He smiled, a slow, knowing grin that made me blush from the tips of my toes to the roots of my hair. “I … I don’t know what you mean,” I said stiffly, gathering the sheet closer to my chest. “Oh, I think you do, Angelina,” he murmured. He scooted a little closer and I shrank back. The look on his face changed to one of concern. “Hey, I told you before I won’t hurt you.” He reached forward and brushed his fingertips across my cheek. The simple touch seemed to burn me. I wanted to pull back but I found myself leaning into the touch instead. His fingers trailed down and his large, warm hand caressed the side of my neck gently but with heat. “I knew you couldn’t forget last night,” he said, his voice a low, rough whisper. He licked his lips and stared at me through half-lidded eyes. “I can still taste you.” “Last night was a dream,” I whispered. The familiar scent of warm fur and musk filled my senses. “No dream,” he said, pulling me closer. Somehow I found myself in his arms and he was pulling the sheet away to press the hard, hot expanse of his chest against mine. “Beautiful,” he whispered, palming


one of my breasts and twisting the nipple until a breathless moan escaped me. “I don’t even know you,” I said, tangling my fingers in his thick, silky hair. “That’s all right. I know you,” he replied and then his mouth was on mine, rough and gentle at the same time, demanding and caressing. I gave myself to the kiss utterly, losing myself in the feel of strong arms like flexible steel bands wrapped around me and the taste of his full mouth on mine. His hands roamed over my body, petting in long hot strokes down my back, sides, thighs. I knew it had to be a dream again, the same one I kept having over and over but still, it was the sweetest, most vivid dream I’d ever had and I wanted to lose myself in it and enjoy it. As if reading my mind he broke the kiss at last. Looking seriously into my eyes he whispered, “Still think it’s a dream?” I nodded, feeling too breathless to talk. My silent answer seemed to anger him somehow. “Do I have to prove how real this is? How real I am?” he half snarled. Before I could answer he had pulled me close again. There was nothing gentle about this second kiss. His mouth on mine was hard, demanding, and his hands on my body were more insistent, more intimately knowing. He proved his knowledge of me by the way he made me gasp and moan into his mouth while he pinched and twisted my nipples sending shocks of pleasure to the wet mound of my sex. I pulled away from the kiss with a gasp when I felt his fingers between my legs, spreading my thighs. “No,” I whispered, feeling open, vulnerable. I pressed back against the headboard, the cool wood chilly against my heated flesh. “Yes,” he said, his voice a low growl in my ear. I moaned helplessly as I felt his long, strong fingers spread my folds and invade my wet, slippery heat. “Does this feel like a dream?” he demanded, working his fingers slowly in and out of me as he had the night before while he’d licked and sucked my throbbing clit. “I … I don’t know,” I gasped, almost ashamed of the wanton way my body reacted to him. Even if it was only a dream, I had never been the type of woman to be vocal in bed and yet here I was gasping and moaning and writhing under his touch. I couldn’t help it anymore than I’d been able to help it the night before when he tasted me. His dark eyes held mine as his fingers worked me. I could tell he was enjoying the uninhibited play of emotions over my face, could tell that he liked the fact that he was able to make me lose control. “That’s it, baby,” he murmured, rubbing one broad thumb over my swollen clit as he fucked me with his fingers. “Let it go … I love to watch you lose it.” The hot words and the intent look on his face coupled with the amazing sensations he was causing inside me pushed me over the edge. I squeezed my eyes shut as the first wave of orgasm hit me and a low, breathless moan left my lips. I felt my body contract around his invading fingers. He pulled me closer and nuzzled the side of my neck, licking and sucking at my throat, heightening the sensation of pleasure below


my waist. “God … oh, God…” I gasped, when I could talk again. “Real enough for you?” His voice was ragged and low, and he didn’t wait for me to answer. He withdrew his fingers and pulled me up from where I was leaning against the headboard. In the moonlight his body looked as though it had been sculpted out of living copper. His dark eyes glowed like an animal’s and his thick hair fell straight and black as a raven’s wing to his broad shoulders. I wanted to feel it brush against my naked body, my quivering skin. His cock stood out thick and long and pulsing from his muscular thighs. “Get on your hands and knees for me,” he ordered. I didn’t even try to protest. Dream or no dream I wanted him inside me more than I had ever wanted anything before. I crouched before him on my hands and knees as he had directed and waited. “So beautiful,” he whispered, caressing my trembling back with one large, warm hand. “The arch of your back, the curve of your body, the way your breasts hang down like ripe fruit. I can’t wait to be inside you, baby.” I moaned, a soft, inarticulate plea. “You need it as much as I do, don’t you?” he asked in a low voice. “You need to feel me fucking you as much as I need to do it.” “Please…” I gasped, unable to say anything else. There was nothing else in my mind now but my need for him, the need to be taken, to be filled, his body sheathed inside mine. “Spread your legs for me,” he said his voice low and commanding. I felt warm hands on my inner thighs and I did as he asked without hesitation. I felt the blunt, moist probe of his cock nudging against me and I clutched double handfuls of the sheet, trying to ready myself for his entry into my body. “Relax,” he whispered, still petting my body in long, slow strokes. “I won’t hurt you, but I need to fuck you now, Angelina.” I felt the head of his cock nudge against my slippery folds, rubbing slowly and deliberately against the swollen bud of my clitoris, making me bite my lip and clutch the sheet harder. “Spread wide for me now,” he said. “Good girl.” I felt his hands settle on my hips and then he was pushing slowly inside me, huge, thick and undeniably real. A dream,I thought to myself, even as he pierced me to the core, pressing the broad head of his cock hard against the end of my channel.Only a dream… But was it? I felt the tension in the big body behind me, the tightening of his muscles and it was the only warning I got. The next moment he had pulled almost all the way out and then he was ramming himself back into me, pounding against me, filling my wet sex with his thick shaft and driving everything but the pleasure of being well and truly fucked completely out of my mind. I bit my lip until I tasted the salty, metallic tang of blood. I hung my head, my vision obscured by the silky blond tangle of my hair and spread my thighs even wider, trying to be as open for him as he needed me


to be. As I needed to be for him. “Oh God…” I moaned and I could feel my heart pounding against my ribs and smell the hot, musky scent of my lover as his fingers gripped my hips, the better to thrust deeply inside my body. I could feel myself stretching around him, trying to accommodate his thick bulk as he moved inside me. His breathing above me was deep and tortured as he rode me, rode my pussy long and hard with his thick cock. I began to feel a second, deeper orgasm growing inside me. The pleasure was cresting higher and higher and I knew I had to reach the peak soon or explode. Suddenly one of his large hands left my hip and I felt callused fingertips sliding expertly over the wet place where we were joined. It felt good but it wasn’t enough. I moaned and pushed back against him, wanting more. More of his shaft inside me, more of his fingers touching me, more of everything. He seemed to understand my need because his fingers became more aggressive, rubbing hard over the tight bundle of nerves at my center. At the same time I felt him drive hard into me, filling me with himself, the head of his cock kissing the mouth of my womb with the deep, penetrating thrust. “Come for me, baby. I want to feel you come now, Angelina.” And just like that I was coming, spasming hard around his invading shaft and crying out loud in wordless pleasure. I felt his answering spasms as he pumped into me thick and hot, holding me in place flush against his body so he didn’t spill a drop outside me. The full moon was in my eyes, round and golden and gorgeous, sinking in the sky outside my bedroom window as I lay gasping under him, trying to catch my breath. At last I felt him withdraw from my body, making me feel empty and alone. But instead of leaving he curled his long frame around mine, cupping my back to his front. Strong arms wrapped around me tightly and I could feel his warm breath on the back of my neck as he held me close. I was exhausted emotionally and physically. I could feel myself slipping towards sleep but I didn’t want to go. Didn’t want to lose this wonderful moment, this feeling of sweet completion. “Love you, Angelina,” he whispered into my hair and I felt a gentle kiss on the side of my neck, just where he had bitten me before. “This is my last chance. I need you to believe in me.” Stay with me,I wanted to say.Don’t leave. Be here when I wake up… But the words wouldn’t come. It was a foolish request anyway, wasn’t it? How can you beg a dream to stay? “Believe in me,” he said again. I wanted to so much. But as I slipped beneath the waves of sleep, I knew he would be gone in the morning.

Chapter 11 “Angelina? Angelina!” A hand was shaking me, a voice calling my name. I woke with a start. He had stayed! My dream lover was a reality, not just a fantasy or a dream after all.


I opened my eyes to see an anxious face peering into mine, but instead of cinnamon-dark skin and the large brown eyes of my lover, all I saw was Barbara standing over me with a frown on her face. “Barb?” I asked, confused. I looked around the room but all I saw was Shadow lying at the foot of my bed, looking at me with big brown eyes that were somehow reproachful. My brain wanted to tell me that Shadow had somehow transformed in the night to become the man that was my lover. I shook my head groggily—crazy dream. “Jelly, didn’t you tell me you had a big presentation today?” Barb asked, glancing meaningfully at her watch. “Oh my God,” I said, sitting up in bed with the sheets tangled around my neck and forgetting the weird dream. “What time is it?” “Quarter to nine. What time is the presentation?” “Nine o’clock,” I moaned. “Phelps is just going to love this—he’ll finally have the perfect excuse to get me fired. I must have slept through my alarm.” “By the look of this room you didn’t sleep much,” Barb said, eyeing the wildly disarrayed bed critically. “What happened, you decided to redecorate in Early American Messy in the middle of the night?” I had a brief flash of memory—the dream again.Strong arms holding me, a deep voice in my ear, ‘Spread your legs for me, baby.’ I pushed it away. The notion that I had actually had a man with me the night before was absolutely absurd no matter what the state of the bed was. Probably I had just thrashed around a lot, caught in the throes of the extremely erotic dream. “I’ve gotta run,” I told Barbara, wrapping the sheet around me and pushing past her into the bathroom. “Well try not to drive too crazy,” I heard her say. “Remember it’s better to get there a little late but still alive than to wind up in an accident somewhere.” “Barb, I’ll be lucky to keep my job,” I yelled through the bathroom door, struggling to brush my hair, slap on some makeup and pull on a pair of nylons all at the same time. “My safe driving record is the last thing on my mind.” “Okay, hon. Well, I’ll just drop Shadow off at the vet on my way to the office. You call and let me know if you need me to pick him up too.” “Thanks,” I yelled. “I’ll do that.” I heard her coaxing Shadow to go downstairs with her and then the front door slammed. **** The ride to work was crazy and by the time I got there, thirty minutes late, I was a nervous wreck. How could I have overslept on today of all days?Because you were up half the night, a little voice whispered in my head. I pushed it away. Of course I had been up half the night, withDouglas and his rose stealing nonsense. The little voice tried to tell me that my ex wasn’t the only thing that had kept me awake, but I wasn’t buying it. The way I saw it there were only two possible explanations. One, I kept having an extremely erotic


dream that was making me sleep poorly and tear my bed apart. Or two, I had somehow gotten a dog which was more than a dog—he was a man at night and he had made mad, passionate love to me the night before wearing me out so thoroughly that I slept through my alarm. In the interest of sanity I had to go with option one because option two was completely crazy. Wasn’t it? “Dean, you’re late.” The barking voice of my immediate supervisor, Ronald Phelps made me wince as I walked briskly into the meeting, trying to look professional when I felt anything but. I hated it when he called me by my last name and I was pretty sure he knew it. “So sorry, Ronald, there was an accident on the I-10,” I lied smoothly. I slid into a high-backed leather chair at the long oak conference table and made apologetic eye-contact with the reps from the Bardine Corporation seated across from me. “Please continue,” I told him coolly, placing my notes in front of me on the table and looking at him expectantly. “As a matter of fact, we’d like to continue but we were waiting for you. I assume you’re ready to share the report on consumer consistency in preparation for launching Bardine’s new Ad campaign?” Ronald gestured with one freckled hand towards the head of the table, indicating I should take the stand. He was a weasely-looking man with carrot orange hair and a long, thin face. He probably had freckles over ninety percent of his body, or at least the parts you could see. I didn’t want to know about the freckle-status of the parts you couldn’t see, which was one reason my boss was doing everything in his power to make trouble for me. Forget sexual harassment—that was for amateurs. With Ronald Phelps, it was an all out war. I stepped to the front of the conference room with as much confidence as I could muster, feeling glad I had put in the hours on Saturday to finish the report he was asking about. That said, Ihad left a copy of it on his desk and he could have continued the presentation without me instead of making the clients wait until I showed up. But no, that would have been too easy. “All right, we’ve done extensive market surveys and testing…” I heard my voice launch into the prepared information and wished for the hundred-thousandth time that I was anywhere else, doing anything else. Then I immersed myself in the presentation and let it carry me away. **** “Let’s break for lunch and meet back here in an hour to discuss the new Ad,” Phelps said at last. I glanced at my watch, it was a quarter past twelve. Thank God for small favors. I spared a thought for Shadow and wished I could have gone with him on his first trip to the vet. Poor baby, I hoped he wasn’t scared. Thinking of my dog made me wonder how in the world my love-starved psyche could come up with such a crazy scenario in the first place. I frowned; the dream had been sovivid the night before.Not a dream, that little voice insisted in the back of my head but I shook it off. “Listen to me, Dean.” I turned to see the red, freckled face of my boss a lot closer to my own than I really wanted. His breath was heavy with stale coffee fumes. I tried not to wince. “Yes, Ronald?” I asked with icy politeness, pretending to stack papers while the Bardine reps filed out of the room. Business protocol might demand that I give him a little more respect and call him ‘Mr. Phelps’ but he certainly wasn’t extending much courtesy my way, so I didn’t feel the need to make nice in front of the clients.


“You’ve got a lot of damn nerve prancing in here forty-five minutes late with a huge hickey on your neck, and some lame excuse about an accident on the freeway,” he hissed. “Hickey? What the hell are you talking about?” I said coldly. But my hand stole up to side of my neck before I could stop it and the voice inside my head whispered,No dream. He shook his head and snorted in disgust. “Whoever he was I hope he was fucking stupendous in the sack. If we lose the Bardine account because of you, I promise I’ll do everything in my power to see you fired.” His thin, freckled face was a mask of anger and outrage, but I knew the truth. His anger wasn’t over my tardiness but over the fact that he thought I was late because I’d been up late carousing with some man.Well, weren’t you? the little voice asked matter-of-factly. “Don’t threaten me, Ronald,” I said as calmly as I could, trying to keep my voice level. “And I don’t appreciate innuendoes about my personal life.” “Fine,” He threw up his hands in a gesture of disgust. “I’m taking the Bardine reps out to lunch and you can just stay here and work on the second half of your report. It had better be letter perfect, Dean. The whole damn account is riding on it.” He turned and stalked away. After he left I went to the bathroom and examined my neck critically. Therewas a red mark on it that you might have thought was a hickey if you had a dirty mind like Phelps. But it could’ve been caused by my tussle with the rose bushes last night—thorns had been everywhere. Possibly I had scratched myself and then rubbed it in my sleep… My stubborn mind kept showing me pictures of my dream lover touching me, sucking my neck, marking me… No! I shook my head, determined not to think about it.I live in a reasonable world, I told myself. There is no Santa Clause, pigs don’t fly and there was no way in hell my pet dog is actually a sexy Native American under … what did he say? Oh yeah, under a curse. I frowned at the image in the mirror and pulled up my collar to cover the mark on my neck which was (probably) a mark from the thorns ofDouglas ’s roses. Back at my desk I ate a sandwich from the vending machine and concentrated on getting the second part of my presentation letter perfect. The office around me hummed quietly as the few secretaries and interns that had decided to work through lunch went about their business. There was no way I could afford to lose my job now that I was living on one income, not that Douglas’s check ever lasted very long when we were married. Somehow it always seemed to be needed on accessories for his latest hobbies or home decorating trends. My cell rang just as the hour was almost up and it was Patty, smacking loudly on the other end. “I don’t have a lot of time to talk right now,” I told her, finishing the sandwich and tossing the wrapper into the trash. “I’m already in hot water for being thirty minutes late this morning and Phelps is gunning for me. The minute he brings back the clients I have to be ready to go.” “I’ll make it quick,” she promised. “Just wanted to know if you need me to pick up Shadow from the vet’s today. Barb called and said she’s got a late client she didn’t know about ‘till she got to the office so I might be on dog duty.” I grinned despite myself. My two best friends had to be the best in the world. “Geeze, talk about it takes


a village,” I said, trying to organize my papers while we talked. “You guys are the best. But assuming I make it through this presentation alive I should be able to get him myself.” “Ah, nuts.” Patty popped a bubble loudly on the other end. “I kinda wanted to see the big fella. He’ll probably be pretty out of it anyway though.” “What do you mean?” I said, still shuffling papers. “Well, I mean I know it’s a pretty minor surgery but they still put ‘em under to do it, right?” The gum popped again. “Minor surgery, what are you talking about?” I demanded, freezing in mid-shuffle. “I mean he’s getting fixed today, right? That’s what Barb said, anyway.” “Fixed?” I said, wondering why there was suddenly a big lump in my throat. “You mean as inneutered ?” “That’s what it usually means. Why, what did you think?” “I … don’t know,” I said, still feeling strange. “I mean, I guess I thought it was just some routine check-up.” “Nope, responsible pet ownership and all that,” Patty sang cheerfully. “Cheer up, Jelly. He may be a little groggy when he wakes up, but after a week or two he’ll forget all about it, ya know?” “Yes … I guess so,” I said, still feeling dreadfully uneasy.Just a dream, I insisted to myself, but what if it hadn’t been?Stop, I told myself sternly.Just stop it already. Just then my call waiting beeped. “I’ve got to go, Patty. Talk to you later,” I told her. “Later,” she hung up with a last juicy pop and I clicked over to the other line. “Angie?” I sighed, feeling like the day just couldn’t get any worse. “What do you want,Douglas ? I’m at work and I don’t have much ti…” “What I want is to tell you to expect a law suit for last night,sweetheart ,” he barked in my ear. I winced at the nasty tone. “Douglas, I was simply protecting my house. You wouldn’t have a leg to stand on,” I told him. Glancing through the window to my right I saw Phelp’s bright red Hummer (a penis car if I ever saw one) pulling up to the curb outside. “Look,” I told my annoying ex-husband. “I really have to g…” “Mental cruelty and the emotional trauma Justin and I suffered as a result of your new friend’sbrutal assault has nothing to do…” “What the hell are you talking about,Douglas ?” I demanded. “My dog never…” “I’m not talking about the damn dog,” he nearly screamed. Outside the glass door I could see Phelps coming with an army of Bardine reps in tow and I knew I had to get off the phone, butDouglas ’s next


words seemed to freeze me to the spot. “I’m talking about that huge naked Indian…” He paused and I could hear Justin in the background saying something about his choice of terminology not being politically correct. “Fine,”Douglas snarled. “That huge, naked Native American who threatened to torture and kill us.” Phelps was coming in the door and when he saw me talking on the cell he made a violent throat-slashing gesture in my direction, plainly an order for me to get off the phone and into the conference room. “I’m sorry,” I said toDouglas , ignoring the dirty look Phelps was sending my way. “Could you repeat that, please?” “I said I may never be the same after some of the things your Native Americanfriend threatened to do to me. Justin and I both were horribly traumatized,”Douglas insisted but the only words that made it into my head wereNative American.

Oh my God, it wasn’t a dream!I hung up the phone without another word, grabbed my purse and ran for the door, digging one handed for my keys as I went. “Hold it!” My arm was grabbed before I could make the front of the building, stopping me cold. I looked up from my preoccupied search for my keys to see Phelps looking at me angrily. “Let me go!” I yanked to get away from him but he held on like a bulldog. “You’re not going anywhere,” he announced in the same tone of voice a stern father might use with a wayward daughter. “Ronald, I don’t have time to talk. Now take your hands off me, I have to go!” I yanked harder on my arm which he still refused to relinquish. We were beginning to attract attention, some of the secretaries were staring and a few of the Bardine reps were poking their heads out of the conference room to see what the commotion was about. “Dean, there’s no excuse you could give me right now that would be good enough. You wrote that damn Bardine Ad campaign and you’re going to stay and sell it to them.” There was a sadistic kind of glee on Phelps’ freckled face—he was really enjoying this opportunity to assert his authority. I was getting frantic. Already I might be too late. I twisted in the punishing grip Ronald Phelps was applying to my arm and kneed him sharply in the groin. His red, freckled face turned a strange, dusty shade of purple and he crumpled to the floor, finally releasing my arm. “I told you, I didn’t have time to talk,” I tossed over my shoulder as I beat a hasty retreat.Well, so much for my job . But losing my job didn’t seem remotely important compared to what was going on at the moment. I got in my little silver bug and was on the road already when I realized I didn’t have the slightest idea where I was going. With all this talk of dropping Shadow off and picking him up at the vet’s, nobody had actually told me which vet he was scheduled to be at. I got on my cell and managed to get Barb out of a very important conference by assuring her secretary that it was a dire emergency.


“Barb, the vet—where is it? What time was the surgery scheduled for?” I demanded, driving like a maniac in what I hoped might be the right direction. “Angelina, calm down. What are you talking about?” The maddeningly practical tone of her voice nearly drove me crazy. “Where is the vet? Give me directionsright now ,” I demanded. “Geeze, Okay, Okay,” she muttered. “It’s The WeCare Animal Hospital on West Fifty-fourth andIndianSchool but what—?” Great, I was headed in the wrong direction. “When was Shadow scheduled to get…” I couldn’t make myself say the word. “When was it scheduled?” I ended. “I don’t know. Sometime in the afternoon, I think. Maybe around two.” I glanced at my watch. It was one fifty-five. “What—?” Barb started again but I cut her off. “The minute I hang up with you call them and tell them to cancel it.” “Jelly, listen, you’re not making any sense. What’s all this about, anyway?” “Justdo it ,” I said, swerving across three lanes of traffic to make a U-turn. “It’s important, Barb, all right?” I hung up without waiting for her answer. The afternoon traffic was sluggish and my car was burning up despite the best attempts of my AC. Any other time I would have started the car and let the air run for a while to cool things down inside before I took off, but even though my steering wheel was so hot it burned my hands and I felt like I was breathing in pure desert, all I could think of were his words to me the night before. This is my last chance. I need you to believe in me,he had said. But like a fool, I just couldn’t do it. Couldn’t believe that something so preposterous could actually be real. And now while I was sitting in traffic the man of my dreams might literally be having his nuts cut off. “Oh, God,” I moaned out loud. Did I really have to put it like that? I got lost twice and by the time I pulled in to the WeCare parking lot it was ten past two and I was frantic. Had Barb been able to get through? Or was it too late? The receptionist at the phone was a bored-looking middle aged woman in pink scrubs decorated with pastel kitty cats. “Yes, I see that,” she was saying into the phone, not bothering to look up as I rushed in. “But the surgery has already started and we can’t just stop…” She must be on the phone with Barbara that minute. I decided to bypass her and go straight for the back. I ran behind the counter and zig-zagged around her desk to get to the swinging metal doors that lead to the back of the building. “Hey, wait a minute! Miss, you can’t just…”


But I was gone, leaving her gaping behind me. I was a woman on a mission.Please God, don’t let me be too late, I prayed frantically. I ran down the long corridor, pushing open doors to exam rooms as I went and not bothering to close them afterwards. There was a commotion behind me as a cat and several dogs got loose but I didn’t care. Nothing mattered except finding Shadow. Believe in me,he’s whispered in my ear the night before and I did, with all my heart. I just hoped it wasn’t too late. At the far end of the hall was another set of metal doors and since there was nowhere left to go, they had to be it. As I neared the doors, my heels clicking frantically on the tile floor, I heard voices drifting out into the hallway. “I can’t find a vein when he keeps thrashing like this,” complained one. “Give him a little more. He’s really fighting it,” said another, deeper voice. “He’s a big guy but I’ve never seen anything…” a third voice began. “Let him go!” I yelled, bursting through the doors into what was obviously a surgical suite. Three people draped in mint green scrub gowns turned to face me, their eyes looking shocked above the paper masks they wore. The wildly swinging doors knocked over a tray of silver instruments that fell to the ground with a loud clatter. “Lady, this is an operating room and…” “Who are—?” “What the hell?” They all spoke at once but I only had eyes for the furry head sticking out from under the green surgical drapes. There was a nozzle clamped over the long muzzle but even from where I was standing I could see that the muzzle was whitish-brown, not black. It wasn’t Shadow. “Where’s my dog? What did you do to him? Where is he?” I babbled. I kicked instruments out of the way and they skittered across the hard tile floor. Behind me the middle-aged receptionist, no longer looking very bored, burst into the room. “I’m so sorry, Dr. Katzenberg,” she said, giving me a very disapproving look. “I don’t even know who she is. She just barged right in.” “My dog, where’s my dog, Shadow?” I insisted, feeling like my heart might burst at any second. “Shadow?” One of the surgically draped people, (it was hard to tell male from female in that get-up) looked at me quizzically. “Was that the big black wolf-looking mutt?” “Yes, yes that’s him. That’s him!” I said. “Where is he? Please…” “Already in the recovery area.” He or she gestured with a mint-green arm. “Oh no. No, no, no,” I whispered, feeling like my legs were going to collapse. “Oh my God. Oh no…” I


crumpled to the cold tile floor and put my hands over my face. I was too late.

Chapter 12 “…Dean, are you Angelina Dean?” someone was asking me. I looked up and nodded vaguely. It was one of the mint-green people. She had pulled off the paper mask she was wearing and was plainly a woman. Large gray-green eyes looked into mine with an expression of cautious sympathy. “I’m Dr. Kate Katzenberg,” she introduced herself. In lieu of shaking my hand she helped me off the floor. “Come on,” she said, putting an arm around my trembling shoulders. “Let’s go see your dog, Shadow. He wasn’t harmed, you know. He’s very much alive and doing fine.” She started to lead me towards another swinging door but I balked, not wanting to see. “I … I can’t,” I whispered, feeling the words catch in my throat. “I can’t face him … not after what I let happen to him…” “Shadow isfine ,” the vet emphasized again, as though to a small child. “Come on. Let’s go take a peek at him.” I would have to face him sooner or later, I reasoned. Taking a deep, trembling breath I forced myself to go the way her arm around my shoulders was urging. We walked into a small, sterile-smelling room filled with wire mesh cages. In a bottom cage that was a little too small for him Shadow lay curled in a furry ball with his long muzzle buried in the bushy fluff of his tail. “Oh my God.” I turned away, unable to look at him after the way I’d betrayed him. “When will he wake up?” I asked the vet, trying not to start crying again. “When will he realize what’s been … what’s been done to him?” She gave me a confused look. “Wake up? He’s awake now, Ms. Dean.” A sharp bark from behind me confirmed her statement. I turned back to stare at the eager brown eyes that were staring at me through the bars of the cage. Oh God, how would I ever explain? “I just … I thought it took a while for the anesthesia to wear off,” I said, staring at Shadow’s eager face pressed against the bars. The taffy-pink tongue was lolling out happily and he gave every indication of being overjoyed to see me. If only he knew… “Anesthesia?” Dr. Katzenberg looked confused for a moment and then her face cleared. “Oh, I see what you mean. Well, Ms. Dean, Shadowwas scheduled to be neutered today but there was a mix-up in the paperwork. You see, the free certificate from the Animal Shelter was misdated and if anything’s out of line we don’t get compensated.” She shrugged apologetically. “I’m sure you can understand how it is.”


I turned to her, a feeling of hopeful disbelief growing in my heart. “So then you didn’t … didn’t operate on him?” I asked, my voice quavering so hard it was a wonder she could understand a word. She shook her head. “I’m sorry if it’s inconvenient, but we’ll have to reschedule for another…” “No—No rescheduling!” I yelled. I fell on my knees in front of the cage, heedless of what she might think. “Shadow,” I said, tears wetting my cheeks in a warm flood. “I don’t know if it’s too late or not and I’m sorry it took me so long but … I believe in you. I do, I believe!” I don’t know who was more surprised, me or the veterinarian standing behind me, but as the words left my mouth, Shadow’s shaggy black coat started to roil and churn, like a pot coming to a hard boil. A look of pain came into the deep brown eyes. “Oh my sweet Lord!” Dr. Katzenberg started to go towards the cage but I held her back with one arm. “Wait,” I whispered, more to myself than her. The strange bubbling of the black hide became even more violent until it looked like something was trying to get out from the inside. Shadow threw back his head and voiced a long, eerie howl that prickled my skin into goosebumps and made the hair at the back of my neck stand up in an anxious bristle. At last, with a low ripping noise, his hide split open and melted away. There, curled in a ball on the floor of the much-too-small cage was a naked man with broad shoulders and cinnamon-bronze skin. He had shoulder length hair that was licorice-black and, when he looked up at me, the deepest brown eyes I had ever seen. “Hello, Angelina,” he said. “You mind getting me out of this cage?” Dr. Katzenberg shrieked and ran from the room, but I could only kneel on the floor and stare at the man of my dreams. “Shadow?” I whispered, unable to believe my eyes. “James, actually. James Redhorse,” he said. I just stared at him. “Angelina?” he said again. “Little help here?” **** “Tell me again,” I demanded, over a hot pot of coffee at my kitchen counter. “Why didn’t you just change in front of me and tell me right away?” Shadow, or James, as I supposed I would have to get used to calling him, was lounging against the counter dressed in an old pair of my ex-husband’s sweatpants that were much too small for him. He sighed and took a sip of his coffee. I tried to pay attention to his words instead of the way his bicep rippled when he lifted the coffee mug, but it wasn’t easy. “Looking back that would have been the easiest thing to do,” he said. “But you don’t think that logically


when you’re a dog. At least, I didn’t. Don’t know what the average mental capacity for that kind of thing is. Somebody should draw up a chart.” He laughed, a deep rumble that seemed to run through the counter and up my hand and arm straight to my heart. I smiled back, unable to help myself. “Well, at least you could’ve spent some time explaining instead of just…” I shrugged and blushed, remembering exactly how we had spent our time. “I know.” He grinned incorrigibly, the expression a white slice of teeth in his bronze face. “Believe me, I know. Don’t think I wasn’t thinking about it, as well as I could anyway, while I was sitting in that damn cage at the vet’s. Talk about not managing your time wisely.” He laughed again. I winced. “Shadow, I mean James, I’m so sorry…” He held up a hand to stop me. “No, we’ve been over all this twenty times already. I don’t want to hear it anymore, okay?” I nodded, reluctantly and took a small sip of my coffee. James sighed again. “I know I should have explained myself and my predicament a lot better but I only had a certain amount of time—until the moon set. And, Angelina,” He put down his mug and tilted my chin until I couldn’t help looking into his eyes. “When I was with you, I couldn’t think of anything else except how much I wanted you. Everything else just kind of got … swept away, forgotten.” I could feel myself blushing from the roots of my hair to the tips of my toes. Even my fingers were blushing when I fumbled my coffee mug up to my lips for another sip to hide my embarrassment. “Hey,” His touch on my cheek was gentle but it burned me just the same. “Why so shy all of a sudden?” “I…” I swallowed hard and made myself look up at him again. “I just never … I mean, I was so sure it was a dream. I’m usually not as … uninhibited as I’ve been the past few nights. You should know that about me—that I’m not the kind of person who just jumps into bed with someone. But I thought you weren’t real.” “Is this real enough for you?” He pulled me in for a warm, coffee-flavored kiss that turned me inside out. “James,” I said, breathlessly at last. There was so much I wanted to ask him, so much I wanted to know. “What?” he said, refusing to let me go though I put my hands against his bare chest and pushed. It was like pushing against a solid wall of muscle. “I need to know some things before we get … before,” I finished rather lamely, looking down at the contrast of my pale white hands against his copper skin. “Anything,” he said immediately. “Just ask me. I suppose you want to know about the curse—how I ended up as a dog in the first place” “Well, yes but…” I looked up at him uncertainly. “Did you … the other night at the park. Did you kill that man? The one that attacked me?”


He sighed and let me go, stepping back to lean against the counter and cross his arms over his chest. “You did, didn’t you?” I said. “Well, yes,” he admitted, frowning a little. Then he laughed briefly, a short sharp sound that was almost a bark. “Listen to me, admitting this without benefit of any council. My old Criminal Defense professor, Dr. Wainright, would have a fit.” He shrugged, a rolling movement of the broad shoulders. “I, uh, saw him threatening you and I went a little crazy. If I could have stayed in human form I might not have done it but when I had to change back into a dog, well … I guess the urge to protect you sort of overcame me.” He looked me in the eyes. “Does it bother you?” he asked quietly. “I … no, not really, I guess,” I said slowly. “I mean, they’re pretty sure he was the serial rapist that had been loose for a while so…” I trailed off, uncertain of how to put what I was thinking into words. “So then what?” he asked, tilting my chin up to meet his eyes again. “Well, it’s just that…” I sighed. “The reason I finally believed that this whole thing,” I gestured vaguely with my coffee mug which I had picked up again to have something to do with my hands, “wasn’t a dream was because I got a call from Douglas—my ex-husband, you know?” James nodded for me to go on. “Well,” I set the coffee mug down and crossed my arms over my chest protectively. “He said you threatened him and Justin, his boyfriend, with some pretty awful things. I mean, I guess I just want to know if you’re a … a very violent person?” My voice trailed off into a high squeak at the end of the sentence. James burst out laughing. “Ohthat. ” He grinned and shook his head. “Yeah, I threatened them, but I never would have done any of it.” “Well, what did you say?” I demanded. “I mean,Douglas is a jerk and I’m not saying he didn’t deserve it, but I’ve hardly ever heard him so upset.” “I, uh…” James tried to hide his grin with his coffee mug and couldn’t quite manage it. “Well, I’m a lawyer, you know? Civil Litigation Attorney.” I hadn’t known but I nodded my head for him to keep going. “Well,” he continued. “If I’d had on my three piece suit with my briefcase and the whole bit, I might’ve threatened them with a trespassing suit or something of that nature. But,” he shrugged. “There I was, buck naked in the middle of your backyard without so much as my cell phone handy. It was two against one and I had to think fast. Then your husband, uh, ex-husband said something to the effect that he wasn’t scared of any naked Indian no matter how big I was.” “Oh my God.” I cringed. “I’m so sorry.Douglas can be such an ass sometimes.” “So I learned.” James grinned. “Of course his boyfriend, what did you say his name was?” “Justin,” I supplied, taking another sip of coffee to cover my embarrassment.


James nodded. “Justin, right. So he piped up and said to your ex, ‘Honey,please . Remember—labels disable.’ Well, I figured right then that I could probably just scare the bejesus out of them both if I played my cards right and it wouldn’t have to come to blows at all.” He grinned and poured himself another cup of coffee. “So I told them I’d scalp them and cut off their balls.” I started to grin. “You didn’t.” James nodded. “Oh yes I did. Did the trick, too. I think your ex might’ve wet his pants a little.” He frowned, an expression that tightened his hawk-like features and centered in the deep brown eyes. “Of course, after I smelled how upset they made you I wished I’d roughed ‘em up a little more.” “Um …smelled how upset I was?” “Yeah, when you’re a dog, you live through your nose. That was one of the things that attracted me to you in the first place.” He put down his coffee mug and with no warning pulled me close. “Do you know you smell great, Angelina?” He planted a soft, hot kiss on my cheek. “You taste great too, as I recall. Not that I’d mind refreshing my memory…”

Epilogue James sold his home inScottsdale and moved in with me. We began restoring my Grandmother’s house to its former cozy pre-Douglas state. We settled well together and it wasn’t long before he presented me with a beautiful engagement ring I was happy to accept. It was turquoise inlaid with silver, beautiful Navajo craftsmanship and he admitted to searching for nearly a month to find what he thought was just the right one. He had told me the whole story of his Grandmother’s curse, but we decided to keep it to ourselves although Barb and Patty had to be told. Barb was fairly skeptical at first but Patty ate it up and began thinking about adopting a dog from the local Animal Shelter herself. Not, she admitted, that she really expected to have the same amazing luck I’d had but a girl could dream, couldn’t she? After he told me about his Grandmother’s order to find a Navajo woman to settle down with, I explained to James that I was only an eighth Navajo and I knew nothing about the culture, having been raised completely white except for a few stories from my Grandmother. He said that was all right with him, he was only half Navajo himself even though he looked full-blooded. But he did ask me to take some night classes on the Navajo language with him at ASU, which I readily agreed to. “I’ve ignored my culture, tried to put it out of my mind for too long,” he told me one night after dinner. We were sitting at the polished oak dining room table I’d found at a furniture consignment shop—it was almost exactly like the one my Grandmother had owned. James frowned and I could see the sadness in his hawk-like features as he spoke. “When I was a kid growing up on the Rez, all I could think about was getting off of it. Getting out of there. I ran as far as I could, all the way toLawSchool , just trying to get away and make a different life for myself—away from all that dust and poverty.” I reached across the table and took his hand, squeezing to let him know I understood.


He brought my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles gently, in a way that made my heat beat faster. “I don’t feel that way anymore,” he said softly. “I want our children to understand their back ground. Their heritage. It’s important.” I had to agree. **** I had figured that my job was pretty much a lost cause so I was surprised when the head of the Ad department called me and begged me to come back. Apparently, Ronald Phelps had plenty of complaints against him and the general consensus was that a knee to the balls was just about what he deserved. I told them I’d think about it, but I knew deep down that writing Ad copy wasn’t what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I told James about it one night when we were lying in bed. I was feeling warm and drowsy and utterly satisfied in a way I’d never felt withDouglas . James continued to be a very attentive lover, amazing me with his stamina and single-minded pursuit of my pleasure. I was wrapped in his arms after a very thorough loving, feeling safe and happy in a way I hadn’t since before my Grandmother had died. James had a successful law practice which he was slowly getting back on track after his three month absence and he had insisted on paying half the bills and groceries while I took an extended leave from my job. But now my savings were running low, and I knew I had to do something. “Why go back if you don’t want to?” James asked reasonably enough. “Why not let me pay the bills the way I want to and you do something you want for a change?” “I don’t know,” I shifted in his arms to look into his true brown eyes. “I just … it doesn’t feel right somehow, letting you pay.” “Jelly,” he said, having picked up my nickname from Barbara and Patty. “Don’t be such a stiff-necked stubborn woman.” A smile and an affectionate kiss on my cheek took the sting out of his words. “We’re going to be married next month, anyway, if you and the two other musketeers can finally pin down all the details. I’m not saying you shouldn’t work at all but why not try something you like? Don’t worry about the money. Think about it, what have you always wanted to do and never had the chance?” “Well…” I cuddled close, pillowing my head on his broad shoulder, enjoying his warm, masculine musk that filled my senses. He still smelled like warm fur to me. “I’ve always wanted to write,” I told him, feeling shy. “That’s a wonderful idea,” he said, smoothing one large hand over my hair. I listened to the steady thump of his heart as he spoke, his voice deep and soothing. “I don’t know,” I sighed and cuddled closer, not wanting to look him in the eyes. “Douglasalways thought it was silly. A pipe-dream, you know?” He made a rumble of disapproval. “I think you know what I think of your ex-husband and his opinions by now.” I couldn’t hold back a grin. “At least he dropped his ‘pain and suffering’ suit when he found out you


were a lawyer.” “Mmhm.” He rubbed a slow, gentle circle between my shoulder blades with one large palm. “What kind of things would you like to write?” he asked, not letting me change the subject. I shrugged awkwardly. “Oh, you know. Stories. Maybe even a novel.” “That’s great.” He shifted so that we were eye to eye and gave me a soft kiss on the mouth. “You got any ideas?” “A few,” I replied, kissing him back. “But nothing I want to write down. Got a few I wouldn’t mind acting out though.” “Mmm, I was hoping you’d say something like that,” he murmured, rolling so that he was straddling my body. I could feel his thick shaft pressing against my lower belly as I had that first night. His eagerness for me and the pleasure he found in my body, and I in his, never failed to excite me. “Of course this doesn’t help me get ideas for my book,” I told him, spreading my thighs to feel his cock rub against my hot, wet sex and moaning as he found my clit and tortured it sweetly. “’Course it does,” he whispered back, raising my hands over my head and pinning me securely to the mattress as he began to lick and suck my throat. “You can write our story. Just leave out all the sex or it’ll be to hot to print.” “Don’t wanna leave out the sex,” I whispered and then moaned as I felt his thick shaft spread me open and slide deep into my willing wet sex. “That’s the best part.” “You think so?” he murmured in my ear, beginning to thrust. But I found I couldn’t answer him except to moan. The delicious drive and pull of his cock in my body drove every thought but the pleasure he was giving me out of my head. Needless to say it was yet another happy ending. The next day, after he had gone to work, I thought about what James had said the night before. Of course if I wrote his story—our story, it would have to be sold as fiction. Who would every believe it? Why let that stop me? I sat down at my laptop and thought for a moment, fingers on the keyboard at the ready… Then, I began to type: Once there was a boy of the Bitterwater Clan of the Dinè, the Navajo People. He lived with his ma`sani, his grandmother in theFour Corners in the Navajo Nation on the reservation… The End About the Author: Evangeline Anderson is a registered MRI tech who would rather be writing. She is thirty-something and lives inFlorida with a husband, three cats and a college-age sister but no kids because enough is enough


already. She had been writing dirty stories for her own gratification for a number of years before it occurred to her to try and get paid for it. To her delight, she found it was actually possible to get money for having a dirty mind and she has been writing steadily ever since.

Meet LSB authors at http://lsbooks.net We invite you to visit Liquid Silver Books http://lsbooks.com for other exciting literary erotica romances. Weekend Games—Chris Tanglen Destiny's Magick—Rae Morgan Love Lessons—Vanessa Hart Portal—Sydney Morgann Bittersweet—Louisa Trent Business or Pleasure…or Both?—Rae Morgan and Jasmine Haynes And many, many more!!

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