Seeking Truth

An Ellora’s Cave Romantica Publication

www.ellorascave.com

Seeking Truth ISBN 9781419922190 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Seeking Truth Copyright © 2009 Francesca Hawley Edited by Mary Moran Cover art by Syneca Electronic book Publication May 2009 The terms Romantica® and Quickies® are registered trademarks of Ellora’s Cave Publishing. With the exception of quotes used in reviews, this book may not be reproduced or used in whole or in part by any means existing without written permission from the publisher, Ellora’s Cave Publishing, Inc.® 1056 Home Avenue, Akron OH 44310-3502. Warning: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. No part of this book may be scanned, uploaded or distributed via the Internet or any other means, electronic or print, without the publisher’s permission. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000. (http://www.fbi.gov/ipr/). Please purchase only authorized electronic or print editions and do not participate in or encourage the electronic piracy of copyrighted material. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated. This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously.

SEEKING TRUTH Francesca Hawley

Author’s Note Liberties were taken with language. Not all words are documentable to the 1100s.

Dedication This book is dedicated to my mom and my “Honorary Aunt” Valda. Their love and support kept me going even when life was toughest. Paris Brandon, fellow author and critique partner. Thanks for your friendship and honesty. To the SCA fighters of the Barony of Coeur d’Ennui. Thanks for your insights into the role of a medieval knight. I’ve learned much about chivalry from all of you.

Seeking Truth

Chapter One May, 1146

His stallion’s hooves pounded like the beating of his heart as Baron Eaduin Kempe shook damp black hair from his eyes. Though a gentle spring rain fell, it felt like a driving storm. The presence of his beloved foster mother blunted the emptiness of his keep, but if he lost Judith… Nay. He wouldn’t think on it. All had seemed normal with her, so well did she hide her pain. Was he blind? How could he have missed something of such import? Eaduin rode on grimly, determined to find aid. Today. His horse leaped a low hedge, clearing it easily. When he’d asked Judith to whom he should apply for aid, she’d ordered him to the Abbey of Blessed Virgin to seek vérité. He didn’t need to find truth. He needed medication to dull Judith’s pain. Despite her pain, her will was as strong as ever so to the abbey he rode. Only Judith mattered. He glanced ahead, catching sight of the spires of the abbey’s central chapel above the treetops. His half brother Godwin who served as his captain of the guard, rode at his stallion’s left flank. They approached the gates at a gallop but pulled up when they remained closed. He and Godwin had been several leagues on the road and would need to return before evening, for Eaduin wouldn’t leave Judith alone for longer. Where was the damn guard? Their horses sidled restlessly as the men exchanged glances. Godwin hailed the guard who should be atop the gates. “Baron Eaduin Kempe wishes to speak with the reverend mother on a matter of grave urgency.” Eaduin smiled faintly. It was his thundering voice that made Godwin’s squires jump to do his bidding, and it drew the immediate attention of the watch. “Lord Eaduin bloody Kempe will find no welcome here!” He grimaced before looking up to see the old guard peering over the ramparts. “I seek no welcome from you, Artur Pecke, you insolent cur. How dare you swear within these sacred walls! Open the gates. I will speak with the abbess. Now!” His roar echoed off the stone, making the old man wince then scowl, shaking his fist. “And what army will see you past this gate?” Eaduin swore under his breath. He just had to assign his father’s former guard captain here, hadn’t he? The old bastard hated him. Be damned to hell! He pulled his strung bow from his saddle and an arrow from his quiver. He nocked it, taking aim in one smooth movement then sighting on the stupid man’s head.

5

Francesca Hawley

“I need no army, old man. Let me in and live to see the sunset!” Eaduin knew the wily old guard could easily duck before the arrow even reached him, but Eaduin was out of patience. He heard Judith’s cries in his ears and had no time to parlay with a self-important idiot. “Open the gate, you fool!” a voice inside the gates yelled. Eaduin relaxed his drawn bow, his breath releasing with a hiss. He recognized the authority of Mother Anne’s voice when he heard it and so did Sir Artur. The clack of the windlass rattled loudly as the bridge lowered and the heavy doors opened ponderously. How ironic it was that his orders and his money barred his passage, for long had he given money to afford protection to these brides of Christ. Eaduin spurred his horse, traversing the bridge and coming to a stop in the courtyard—Godwin at his side. They dismounted, handing the stableman the reins. “Treat them kindly. They’ve been run hard and will need to make a return trip shortly.” The chief stableman offered a respectful nod before leading the horses away. Eaduin turned to meet the concerned gaze of Mother Anne. “Why are you here, Baron Kempe?” “I need a healer. Where are your sisters who serve?” Eaduin strode toward the hospital, but the abbess planted herself in his path. “Why do you seek a healer? What help can we give you Mistress Judith cannot? After all, she has been the teacher to most of our sisters in the use of herbs and healing.” Eaduin’s rubbed his face, trying to hide the anguish he felt, but Mother Anne saw it and placed a comforting hand on his arm. “Lord Eaduin? What is it?” “It’s Judith. She’s very ill but none of us has the skills to help her.” “Is it fever?” She tensed, her brows knotting in worry. He shook his head. “Nay, she’s hidden her illness from all of us. A bit more than a fortnight ago she collapsed. We have tried to follow her directions to offer her relief, but none of us know what we are doing. We are as likely to kill her as cure her the way we blunder about, but it might almost be a mercy.” “Did she say what the illness is?” “Nay. She looks far gone with child yet there is none. After treating herself for months with syrup of poppies, the medicine eases the pain no longer.” He could see the abbess’s confusion with his poor description. His ignorance at his lack of expertise appalled him. He shook his head, his eyes filling with tears. He blinked before they spilled lest Sir Artur taunt him. “You are sure she’s not with child?” “Certain. God forgive me but I hadn’t noticed how she had loosened her gowns and ceased to wear belts at her waist.” He shook his head in self-disgust. “God forgive my selfishness…” he muttered as he met Mother Anne’s serene blue gaze in chagrin. He took a deep breath, speaking forcefully. “She needs aid, Mother. Judith is in grave pain, 6

Seeking Truth

which nothing relieves. I can’t…I can’t bear listening to her pain-filled screams. It tears out my heart.” Tears began to fall. He brushed them away with annoyance. The old guard captain studied him and Eaduin expected to see laughter at his show of weakness. Instead he saw shared pain. Mistress Judith was beloved of everyone, it seemed. His need for his foster mother felt purely selfish to him. After all, Judith had given life to Godwin and his brothers and sisters. Surely their grief should supersede his, yet she was Eaduin’s salvation. He owed his sanity and conscience to her, for without her he would be a monster like his deceased father and half sister had been. Both now suffered in the fires of hell. If not for Judith… God above, Judith… He must help her. Eaduin would not leave without aid—no matter what he had to do to receive it. “When did you last sleep, my lord?” He paused in thought, trying to remember, then shook his head. “It matters not. Will you send someone to her? Please?” Eaduin could see apology in the reverend mother’s face as she readied a refusal. Before she could reject his request, he dropped to his knees on the hard ground in front of her in the supplication of a penitent. “I beg you, Mother, for Judith’s sake. Let me rot when the time comes, but for the love of God, don’t allow Judith’s suffering to continue. She doesn’t deserve it. Isn’t the pain she endured at my father’s hands enough?” Eaduin beseeched the normally stern abbess whose bright blue eyes filled with tears that spilled down her cheeks. Mother Anne knew the truth of Judith’s suffering at Osweald Kempe’s hands. She took a deep breath. “Judith ordered you here?” Eaduin nodded as the reverend mother considered, her hands settling on his shoulders as she looked down at him. “What did she tell you, my lord? Exactly…” “She told me to come to the Abbey of the Blessed Virgin to seek vérité,” he snorted. “Truth? Mother, I have no need of truth. I need a healer. Yet she was adamant. ‘Seek vérité,’ she said.” “In this case, they are one and the same.” “I don’t understand.” “I know. But you will, my son. Rise. Let us go find the healer you seek.”

***** Lady Vérité de Sauigni heard the pounding of hooves approach the outer gates of the abbey and the subsequent shouting. Such sounds were rare, so they occasioned notice. What was happening? Did someone need treatment? She wanted to look but knew that to venture forth would bring down the wrath of Sister Berthe on her head so she remained in the safety of her garden. Seeing her herbs grow vigorously as the spring rains fed them was one of her few pleasures and she hoarded those allowed her. 7

Francesca Hawley

She wished it were a slightly warmer day, but for May it was pleasant. She had worked in the garden since just after the hour of Prime and would likely remain there the rest of the day despite the rain, except for the times she was called to prayer. Anything that allowed her respite from Sister Berthe was to be blessed. The good sister, and Vérité used the term “good” very loosely, had been chastising her this morning after Terce less than half an hour ago for her ungodly behavior…yet again. She’d made the mistake of responding only God could be godly so it would be presumptuous of her, Vérité, to aspire to such heights. Therefore ungodly behavior was the best she could do. Her cheek still felt warm, smarting from the slap she’d received for her impertinence. Vérité glanced at the new young novice who shared the garden with her. Vérité couldn’t understand why anyone would willingly immure herself in the cloister—she hated it here. Her only relief was the time she spent in her gardens. Vérité carefully weeded the herbs while desperately missing her friend Mistress Judith Sagar. It had been scarcely a month since Judith last visited to share dire news about her health. Judith had been both a link to the outside world and her mentor in the healing arts, never judging her or the special talent she did her best to hide from others. Her friend accepted her, and it saddened Vérité to know the older woman was dying. Pressing her hands deeply in the dark soil, sudden chills spread over her so she leaned back to scan the garden. Something was amiss. The air was tense with waiting and the birds were eerily silent yet nothing appeared awry. It was almost as if this were a pause before a storm. She attempted to will the feeling away, but it remained as strong as ever. Vérité sighed, rising to investigate. “Do you need aid, my lady?” Vérité turned to the earnest young novice, biting her lip. “Would you find Mother Anne to inquire if I am needed?” “I would be glad to.” The girl smiled gently, understanding Vérité’s reluctance to chance upon Sister Berthe. She patted Vérité’s shoulder as she passed on her way to the gate. Vérité could feel the young maiden’s pity from touch alone—even through her garments. How she wished she’d never inherited her mother’s abilities. Lady Sibylla had possessed not only the ability to see truth in others and their words but had shared Mistress Judith’s ability to see the future. The only reason her father hadn’t denounced his wife was because she used her abilities to aid him. When Vérité had refused to do likewise, she’d been imprisoned here. He thought only of gain for himself. He never understood how seeing the true nature of a person’s soul could be painful, and often was. Vérité knelt again, returning to her weeding. Though she tried to turn her mind from her youth, it would not let her rest. In the quiet of the garden her memories flowed. Painful memories of the day her father forced her to meet Baron Osweald Kempe and his daughter Lady Annys when they visited the family keep.

8

Seeking Truth

Barely eight years old, she’d recognized evil when she saw it standing before her. After one look, she was violently ill because their souls were black and tainted…utterly without conscience. In all her six and twenty years, Vérité could not remember meeting two such diseased spirits as the Kempes before or since. Though the Kempes lived nearby and gave money to the abbey, she was grateful they had remained at a distance. Even so, Mistress Judith often spoke highly of Osweald’s son Lord Eaduin. He was wise and kind. He was strong and handsome. He was everything a knight and baron should be. Vérité wondered if Judith had the truth of things or merely saw what she wished. Vérité tensed as the sense of waiting grew stronger. She brushed off her hands, pausing to watch the novice thread her way past the neat, perfectly tended plants on her way to the garden gates. She smothered a cry as the gates to the garden were thrown abruptly open. She jumped to her feet to assess the visitors. The novice froze and her hands shook as she stared at the newcomers but calmed when she saw Mother Anne. With the abbess walked a handsome, dark-haired man in fine garments. Slightly behind them and to one side was a blond man armed to the teeth. Vérité relaxed when she recognized the blond’s resemblance to Judith. Though she’d never met him, he had to be Judith’s eldest son Sir Godwin. Vérité turned her gaze back to the dark man who resembled a fallen angel. He looked familiar to her, though she wasn’t sure how or why. He could only be Baron Eaduin Kempe, Godwin’s older half brother. Vérité felt sure she’d never met Lord Eaduin before her imprisonment here or since, so why did she feel as if she knew him? She studied him, noting how tired and careworn he looked. Her heart went out to him in spite of herself and she felt a need to offer him comfort. Foolish thoughts. As if he would want anything of her. Eaduin studied the novice with a frown. “Reverend Mother, this child couldn’t have the teaching for this.” “You are correct. She isn’t yet trained sufficiently to aid you. However, this lady is.” Mother Anne pointed at Vérité. Vérité met his eyes and felt the bottom drop out of her world. Suddenly she remembered him and knew precisely where she’d seen him before. Her face flushed with heat as she realized she had dreamed of him for the last few years. In her youth she used to sneak out the abbey at night to run free in her one attempt at rebellion. On one trip she had met a widow who “entertained” the men of the area and they had struck up a friendship. Mistress Emma had answered Vérité’s questions frankly and with humor, not even balking when Vérité watched through the windows. One of Mistress Emma’s many lovers then had been this man, though she had not known his name. Vérité lowered her eyes, clenching her hands tightly. She tried not to remember her evenings spent watching him with Mistress Emma as he wrenched pleasure from her body while she begged him for her release. Unfortunately the

9

Francesca Hawley

memory wouldn’t lay quiet. Vérité could still see him tormenting Emma with his hands, mouth, and long, thick manhood until Emma screamed with need, covered in sweat. In her youthful naïveté, Vérité had almost stopped him on one of his nightly trips to beg him to play with her instead of Emma, but now she thanked almighty God she hadn’t. She looked at him through her eyelashes, trying to hide her interest. He was even more handsome now than he’d been then. Still a tall man, yet his shoulders seemed broader, and his walk was of a man well accustomed to defending his home by command or by his own hand. His shoulder-length black hair waved off his forehead, a lock or two dropping against his brow, making her long to brush them out of his eyes. Unlike most men who were either clean-shaven or bearded, Lord Kempe was both. His cheeks were bare, but a well-maintained black mustache and beard curved around his mouth and along his chin. He was one of the most beautiful men she’d ever beheld. His large, dark eyes and full lips only added to his beauty. No man should be so finely wrought, so he must have been touched by God in the womb. “Child, return to the hospital to assist the nuns,” Mother Anne ordered the novice as she walked over to inspect one of the fruit trees in bloom. The girl bobbed a curtsey, running from the garden in obvious relief. Vérité took deep, calming breaths so she would be able to face the baron when next he looked her way. “Mother Anne, is this the sister who can aid me?” Vérité hid the wince at his assumption of her status here in the abbey. Most visitors made the same mistake, assuming she was a sister in the order, for she was a plain woman, plainly dressed. When he’d interred her here, her father hadn’t given her leave to take vows so she was without status and without true purpose within these hallowed walls. Neither one nor the other. “Well, Mother? I have little time to linger. I need to return to the castle.” Lord Eaduin’s deep voice sent thrills over her skin, making her nipples peak in a most unseemly way. Why did she have to remember the way he used to growl sensual orders to Mistress Emma? It was completely unfair. She knew such a fine-looking man would never offer her the lustful gaze he’d turned upon the other woman. The abbess beckoned to Vérité, but before she could take a single step toward Mother Anne, Sister Berthe made her presence known. “Who are you men?” The men stiffened as the older nun barreled into the garden. She pointed her skeletal arm at Lord Eaduin and he straightened with a scowl. Goodness, he could look imposing when he chose. Before he spoke, Sister Berthe continued. “Why did you accost a godly child so she trembled with fear when I asked her your names?” Vérité sighed. Of course the lass trembled. The old crow elicited similar reactions from almost everyone here in the abbey. Vérité looked to Mother Anne, but the mother superior only watched her, as if gauging her reaction, so Vérité stepped into the breach. “Good Sister, these men seek assistance.” “So they seek you? What assistance will you render them, harlot?”

10

Seeking Truth

Lord Eaduin’s speculative gaze swept over her, bringing a blush to her cheeks. Well, nothing she could offer would gainsay the opinion now, but she could try. She turned from him, prepared to face the shriveled prune’s wrath. “I have oft been accused of disobedience but never of unchasteness, Sister,” Vérité snapped, knowing she’d pay for it later. Still, she wouldn’t have this man think she was here because she was a whore repenting her sins. Sister Berthe opened her mouth to reply but was silenced by the quiet words of Mother Anne. “Nay, Daughter. You have been with us since your childhood, so I know you are chaste. For the same reason, I also know you can be disobedient. This topic is concluded.” Sister Berthe started as she noticed Mother Anne for the first time. She bowed her head in obedience but wrath glowed like burning coals in her dark eyes as she glared at Vérité. Oh yes, Vérité would pay for her impertinence later. Sister Berthe would see to it. “Baron Eaduin Kempe, may I present Lady Vérité de Sauigni. She is the Vérité and healer Judith told you to seek.”

11

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Two Eaduin contemplated the female before him. Could this situation be worse? He wanted her. Wanted her so badly he was thankful for the bliaut he wore, which hung to his knees, covering the hard evidence of his desire. He blinked as his brain tried to comprehend what the mother superior had said. “Vérité?” “Yea, my lord. Judith told you to seek Vérité, and here she is.” “Vérité?” He felt as if he’d taken a head shot with a quarterstaff. “You repeat yourself, my lord. Yea, this is Vérité de Sauigni.” Mother Anne nodded, attempting to hide her smug smile as Eaduin swallowed his shock to stare at the woman. She seemed to shrink from him, staring at the ground. He longed to howl with frustration. For the first time in years he felt the fierce bite of lust, and the object of his desire was a nun. His soul was doubly damned to hell. The sister was shrouded in yards of dark cloth, but in spite of the full garments, she had the sort of physical form he sought in his lovers. Full and rounded with curves at both breast and hip. Even worse, one look in those green eyes had sent an arrow of need to his gut. With the wimple and veil she wore, he could see nothing of her hair, but her brows were dark, framing her startling eyes. He hadn’t felt anything this primitive in years. He wanted to claim her here. Now. Publicly. But he couldn’t. If he’d harbored any doubts before, he now knew God had a sense of humor…an evil, twisted one. A gently reared, convent-raised female. Such an innocent, yet Eaduin wanted—nay, he needed—to strip her naked, tie her to his bed then make her beg for release. God had to be laughing raucously just now. Forgetting everything but his need, he took one step in the woman’s direction, his hand out to lay claim to her. “Nay!” Eaduin’s gaze was drawn away from the curved beauty to the tall, skinny crow named Sister Berthe. The woman’s color was high as she pointed a clawlike finger at the mother superior. “How dare you introduce this slut to a lord! She should be confined! She has the Devil in her, just like her mother.” “Sister Berthe, you gravely forget yourself and your role here.” “I don’t! Lord Petrus set me a task, and by God’s will I shall fulfill it.” “He set you a task? What task?” “He ordered me to mortify her flesh to save her soul. By God’s grace I have sought to obey, yet now you encourage her to speak with a man! A depraved man!” Sister Berthe looked him over from head to foot as if he were something vile. Vicious bitch!

12

Seeking Truth

Mother Anne straightened to her full height, her blue eyes narrowing in rage. “I do encourage it, and this does not concern you. You will go to your cell to pray for guidance. With God’s help you may regain your obedience to me and to this order. If you fail, the consequences will be dire, I promise you. Now go!” “Her father, Lord Petrus is our benefactor…” “Nay, you fool, he is not. Lord Petrus paid us a pittance. Baron Kempe has been our benefactor for years. I suggest you consider who it is who provides you with the bread you eat, Sister.” “Do you mean to allow her to leave?” “I hadn’t decided, but your actions have aided me greatly in making up my mind. Go and pray, Sister. You will be on bread and water for your sin until I deem otherwise.” Sister Berthe studied the mother superior. “I will speak to the bishop!” “You will not. I have been very forgiving, but my lenience ends now. You have broken your vows of obedience to me, this order and the Holy law. You will go to your cell and repent.” Two rather large, muscular women in nuns’ habits entered the garden, grim smiles on their faces as they clasped Sister Berthe’s arms. “We will escort her, Reverend Mother.” “Lock her in, Sisters, so she has plenty of time for contemplation.” Their obedience seemed more for show as they gleefully led the shrieking Berthe away. Eaduin swallowed, remembering himself. He’d forgotten one important fact in his immediate lust. This woman was sacred. She was a nun. He couldn’t have her, no matter how much he wanted her. She already belonged to Christ. He cleared his throat, and she jerked, peering up at him. “Sister, have you training as a healer?” She bit her lip, stood straight and lifted her head. He appreciated her show of strength. No crushed and wilted flower was she. “Yes, my lord. I have worked with Mistress Judith Sagar for many years to learn the healing arts. Shortly after I arrived at the abbey, Mistress Judith organized a hall here where those in need may come to receive aid. I work there often with the sisters in charge. I’ve also learned midwifery from the midwife in the village.” Eaduin sighed, trying to decide if he was relieved or dismayed. He would have to control his desire while her presence served as a constant irritant—akin to a horsehair shirt. Still, her skills were exactly what he needed at the castle. He thought of his half sister Bronwen. “Have you dealt with difficult births?” “Yea, I seem to have a fair touch in calming women in labor so a baby may be turned.” “What of women who bleed as a result of birth?”

13

Francesca Hawley

“I have knowledge of treating such problems and have handled one or two circumstances. Sometimes nothing may be done because the damage is too great. I am but a humble woman, my lord.” Eaduin nodded—relieved she wasn’t a braggart or liar, for he would accept neither into his service at the castle. “How do you handle treating battle wounds? I would not think you would have treated ragged injuries of war craft here at the abbey.” “We have treated those who have suffered attack by ruffians. I treat one wound as another, with the appropriate way in which to best ease pain and heal injury. I was once forced to amputate a limb. God willing, I shall never be called upon to do so again.” Eaduin nodded. As usual, Judith was right—she was rarely wrong. This woman was exactly the sort of healer needed at the castle. “Would you be willing to enter service at Kempe Castle?” As the lady opened her mouth to speak, Mother Anne intervened. “My lord, Lady Vérité could not leave here as an unmarried woman. It is completely unacceptable.” “I would not accost a sister, Mother. What manner of man do you take me for?” Insulted by her suggestion, despite the bite of lust that still rode him. “Lady Vérité is not a sister. Her father Lord Petrus de Sauigni forbade his daughter from entering the order or from leaving the convent without his permission.” That put an entirely new complexion on everything. Eaduin noticed the reverend mother’s careful words. She didn’t forbid Lady Vérité to enter his service, but just not as an unmarried female. Mother Anne and his foster mother Judith were clever women indeed. He met the mother superior’s knowing blue eyes in amusement. The woman suggested he marry the maid after obtaining Petrus’ permission for the match. No doubt it was in Judith’s mind, as well. Why else send him here? He felt trapped by the situation. It was too neat…too…perfect, but he’d promised Judith he would come to the abbey to seek Vérité and here she stood. A lady fit to take to wife and a well-trained healer into the bargain. Just a few nights ago Judith said to him, “Who knows, you may remarry.” Now he knew why, she’d seen it. He supposed he could marry Vérité off to Godwin. She was certainly his brother’s type of female, but imagining this ripe woman in his brother’s bed would poison his relationship with his brother as he’d be endlessly jealous of Godwin’s right to her. Damn. Eaduin looked over at Vérité’s face, which was a fiery red as a result of his comprehensive study of her person. Could he handle a woman of such innocence? His marriage to his late wife Elspeth had been difficult for a man of his intense passions. She’d been young and untried when she became his wife. Her mother explained nothing to her of the marriage bed, so Elspeth had been terrified of him and of lovemaking. When she’d seen his cock for the first time, she’d almost fainted, uttering a little shriek of fear and huddling in the blankets, her dark eyes wide with fright. Definitely not what a man hopes for on his wedding eve. He smiled wryly. Teaching her had been uncomfortable for both of them. She’d gotten to the point she found it pleasing, but only if he was painfully gentle with her.

14

Seeking Truth

Painful for him. He could never really allow himself to lose control and thrust deeply into her. On those few occasions he had, she’d started to cry so he’d been forced to stop all forward motion before proceeding. But then she’d been so tiny it had been similar to bedding a doll. Her very slenderness—her narrow hips—had been her undoing. She’d not been made to birth babies easily. As he studied Vérité, he acknowledged his preferences had always been bountiful women. Large breasts. Rounded bottoms. He’d forced himself to make love to his wife, as it was his duty, but bedding Elspeth had been an act of procreation not passion. Eaduin had no interest in children or boys in his bed, and his late wife had borne more than a passing resemblance to both. Since Elspeth, his lovers resembled the woman standing gravely before him. He wished he possessed Judith’s ability to see the future, for the lady looked reluctant and fearful. He’d never taken an unwilling woman to his bed and he didn’t intend to start now. He turned to the abbess. “What precisely are you suggesting, Reverend Mother?” He was damned if he wouldn’t make her spell it out. “Lady Vérité has an excellent dowry, and she has exactly the skills you seek as a healer. You should wed her, my lord. No one would question a baron in your position taking a well-placed, convent-raised lady to wife. It solves all problems.” Eaduin nodded, glancing over at Vérité, who was now painfully pale as her open mouth betrayed her shock. He turned to the lady. “How do you feel about this solution, Lady Vérité?” She swallowed. “You would marry me for my dower goods?” “I don’t give a hang for your dowry. I’ve wealth enough of my own. I do need a healer for my people. And, as Judith often reminds me, I also need a lady to manage my home and bear my children. Would you be willing to give me sons?” Vérité met his gaze with her bright, wide eyes. He was struck by how solemnly she studied him. “Would you be willing to get them on me?” He blinked, trying to hide his surprise. How could the lass think he didn’t find her attractive? He was hard just looking at her, and demons in hell, he wanted her now. Of course she didn’t know it. She couldn’t read his thoughts, which was something of a relief. Eaduin took a deep breath, smiling into Lady Vérité’s eyes, allowing her to see the desire simmering within him. “I would find it no hardship to take you to my bed, my lady. Would you fear to join me there?” “Nay.” She blushed at her immediate response, staring at her feet in confusion. “Then there is no impediment to the marriage.” “Wait.” She held up her hands. “I cannot guarantee sons any more than you can. Children come as God wills them.” “True. Should there be no children, or only daughters, I will take it as God’s will and not place blame with you. Is that acceptable?”

15

Francesca Hawley

She nodded. “How often would you require me?” “What do you mean?” She looked over at Mother Anne, her face pink. She looked beyond the mother abbess to Godwin, blooming as red as a rose. She wanted a frank discussion about the marriage bed, but she didn’t want an audience. He spoke to the others. “Could all of you go for a bit? I would speak privately with Lady Vérité.” Mother Anne shook her head. “Lord Eaduin, I would not have her chastity called into question by privacy between you. I’m sorry, but I cannot leave you alone.” Godwin grinned at his older brother’s predicament. “I’ll check on the horses.” Eaduin rolled his eyes at his brother as Godwin swaggered away. He turned back to the abbess. “Perhaps you could stand by garden entrance while we walk together in full sight of you?” Mother Anne agreed, walking away to take her post at the open entrance of the garden. Eaduin waved Vérité over to join him. She scuttled to his side, maintaining a nervous distance between them. God help him if she was this skittish when she came to his bed. He lowered his voice, bending his head close to hers. “Please, my lady, show me your garden.” As they began to walk down the neatly ordered rows of herbs and the full, blooming shrubs, Eaduin felt himself relax. At first Lady Vérité didn’t speak, but as he asked her about the plants, she began to speak knowledgeably just as Judith used to when he’d been a boy keeping her company in the garden. It brought a smile to his lips. “You didn’t take me aside to speak of plants, my lord.” Lady Vérité bit her lip, glancing at the mother superior to gauge if they were far enough away to speak frankly. When they reached a far bed of plants, Eaduin responded. “Nay, I didn’t. What assurances do you need of me as your husband, my lady?” “I know little of marriage, my lord, but I am sure a man such as you has many women yearning to give themselves to you. I would not appreciate you coming from another woman’s bed directly to mine.” She stared at her muddy hands as they walked. Eaduin’s gut tightened in anger. “Do you think I am so lacking in honor I would do this?” She looked up at him, confusion in her eyes. “What has honor to do with passion or marriage?” Fortunately for her, Lady Vérité had no understanding how deeply she’d insulted him. He took a deep breath, biting out his words to keep his anger in check. “Much. I have had many lovers in my life, I admit this. But I have ever been a faithful husband. Only after my wife suffered damage due to the birth of our daughter did I seek my pleasures elsewhere, and then only at her command.”

16

Seeking Truth

Vérité studied him without expression, though her eyes showed both shock and fascination. “You would confine yourself to me?” “I would.” She swallowed. “We would share a chamber?” “Yea, my lady. The lord’s chambers are spacious and comfortable.” “I see.” Her color remained high as she considered his answer, blinking raindrops off her eyelashes. She returned her gaze to his. “Does Judith have a garden?” Eaduin held back a laugh. He should have known a garden would hold more appeal to a healer than he would. “An extensive one, much larger than this. There is also a well-equipped stillroom and storage room for her herbs, all of which will be your domain if you agree to be my lady.” She nodded, staring at the ground, keeping custody of her eyes out of habit. He wanted to reach out to tip up her chin so he could see her expression, but he refrained when she spoke. “I must seem very foolish to you, seeking to understand what you would demand of me. Anything must be better than convent life.” “You seem very practical.” Eaduin studied her down-bent head. “Is anything better than convent life? Is that why you would agree to be my wife?” Vérité lifted her gaze to his finally. Her forthright, assessing look made him uncomfortable, but he bore it patiently. “Most things would be better than the life I’ve lived thus far. But I cannot and will not accept some things.” She stiffened her back, lifting her head as though she expected to be slapped. “Were it your father asking me, I would most adamantly fight marriage.” Eaduin chuckled. “You have wisdom. I wouldn’t have wished even my worst enemy married to the man.” She blinked in confusion at his frank admission. He smiled gently at her as he studied her face. Lady Vérité wasn’t a classic beauty, yet she had an inner light granting her a kind of beauty he didn’t remember seeing in another. Still, he wished he had a better sense of her form. Her garments were loose and flowing instead of form-fitting as most women wore them. He sensed her body would please him but he wasn’t certain. He had learned to make love in the dark when he was married to Elspeth. It eased her embarrassment, and it had allowed him to imagine another, fuller form, but he truly didn’t want such a marriage again. God grant him patience to instruct Vérité in lovemaking, mayhap she would accept his needs. He restrained a sigh he was sure she would misunderstand. He’d sworn he wouldn’t marry a woman ignorant of his desires, yet here he was running full tilt down the path with nary a thought to the consequences. He gently tilted her chin so her eyes met his. “You have a question for me, my lord?” She angled her head slightly.

17

Francesca Hawley

“Do you wish to marry, Vérité? I won’t force it on you, for I know I won’t be an easy husband. I wasn’t before.” “If I thought you truly wanted to marry me, my lord, I would say yes without hesitation. I fear you are being forced into a corner by two strong-willed women.” Eaduin raised an eyebrow questioningly, enjoying the scolding expression on her face. “Don’t pretend ignorance, Lord Eaduin, for it doesn’t become you. You know I mean Mother Anne and Mistress Judith.” “Yea. Judith ordered me here to fetch you.” “She’s determined to have me at your castle.” Vérité stepped away from him, pacing with her arms crossed over her chest. “I love her, but she is ever contrary.” Eaduin barked a laugh and she frowned at him. “I’m sorry, but you sound just like me.” He shook his head. Vérité smiled at him before again growing serious. “It worries me you will come to resent being manipulated into marrying me, even though the idea was not mine. A marriage cannot survive such bitterness. A good marriage requires shared purpose and kind feelings.” “What would you propose?” “Well…” Vérité bit her lip. Eaduin shifted to ease the hardness pressing against his leggings. The woman would be the death of him. “We could marry but not consummate the marriage until after Judith…” Vérité met his eyes, tears swimming in her own. She spread her hands in supplication. “I can’t save her, you know. I can but ease her pain a little.” “I know, but if you can give her even the smallest amount of relief, I will be grateful.” He paused as he considered the rest of her speech. She couldn’t be suggesting he not bed her, could she? He would go mad without planting himself inside her. “What were you saying of our marriage, my lady?” “We could wait to consummate our marriage. Once Judith has passed, however long it may be, we could become man and wife. Then you would be able to annul the marriage if we found we couldn’t deal well together.” Eaduin growled then clasped her in his arms. “It’s completely unacceptable. I still need a healer in my hall. Why should it not be you…my wife?” He admired the way she stared up at him fearlessly, as if trying to read his intent. “Are you absolutely sure? If we consummate our marriage, you have no recourse unless I die in childbed.” Eaduin closed his eyes briefly before meeting her gaze again. “May God forbid such a thing ever happen!” “Then we would be mated for life, my lord.” “We would. I have no objection as long as you do not. I prefer to make you my wife in fact as well as name as soon as we are wed.”

18

Seeking Truth

“On the chapel floor, my lord?” She couldn’t restrain a grin and her eyes twinkled with mischief. Her dry question drew a laugh from him. “Not quite so immediately, nay, but the night of our wedding. What is your wish?” “Most men would not ask such a question. They would assume that since it was their right, their wife must submit.” “I have never forced a woman into my bed. I’ll not start with you.” He gently rubbed her chin with his thumb, causing her to shiver. She clenched her hands, setting them behind her back. Eaduin studied her face, trying to decide if her reaction was arousal or repulsion. He moved his thumb to caress her full lips. Her lips parted and she gasped, color rising in her cheeks. She swayed toward him, licking her lips. Her tongue brushed against his thumb, dragging a groan of desire from him as the stroke of it went directly to his cock, which answered hard and ready to instruct her now. “My lord! Remember yourself, please.” Mother Anne’s voice broke the spell between them. Eaduin barely held himself in check, desperately wanting to pull Vérité into his arms to drink deeply of her mouth. Reluctantly he lowered his hand. Vérité stared into his eyes, her exhalations sounding tantalizingly similar to pants of arousal. Eaduin exulted for he sensed a woman of passion in her. She might not understand it yet, but she had the potential to revel in marital relations. “Would you be reluctant, Vérité?” Eaduin whispered. “Nay, Eaduin.” “Will you marry me?” “Yea.” He turned his head to Mother Anne, who approached them with a great deal of satisfaction on her face. “Mother, how soon may we be wed? My man could ride to the bishop this very day. I must return to Judith before dark.” “Send him, my lord.” “But what of my father’s permission, Mother?” “I have it. Not more than a week ago, he rode through and told me to allow marriage between you and Baron Eaduin Kempe, but no other.” Vérité frowned. “No other? Why permit the marriage at all? Unless…” “Unless?” Eaduin asked her. “Unless my father has something to gain from it. Perhaps you shouldn’t marry me, my lord. If my father wills our marriage, he has an ulterior purpose.” Eaduin smiled down at her. “No doubt, but then so do I.” “Are you sure? My father may play the fool well, but he is a cunning little worm.” “Little worm?”

19

Francesca Hawley

Vérité colored. “So I have always found him.” “As have I, but I’ve not heard him described so aptly before.” “Falc’ used to call him ‘petit ver’ to his face.” Vérité grinned, dimples appearing in her cheeks. Eaduin blinked in thought. “Falc’? Falc’ de Sauigni is your brother?” “Yea. My older brother. My mother died in childbed when I was six and Falc’ was eight. The infant died with her.” “My sympathies.” “Thank you. My father waited barely a year before he remarried. Gunnora immediately gave him a son, but Raulf is not the man my brother is. Gunnora and my father are well suited and their children are the same.” “Status seeking?” She nodded. “I shouldn’t speak ill of them, but their lack of morals disturbs me. So I ask you again, knowing my father intends to use your connection in some way, are you sure you wish to marry me, my lord?” “Yea, my lady. I am sure.” “Very well. The sooner we return to Judith, the happier I will be. While you have your man ride to the bishop, I’ll put together some medicines to take with me and begin packing some of the things from my work space.” “We go on horseback, so make it a pack you can carry.” “I understand.” She walked to a small stone building with smoke rising from the chimney. It must be her work space. Eaduin couldn’t drag his eyes away from her as she departed. Perhaps he was a fool, but he found himself wanting to lay claim to her as soon as possible. He was concerned with Petrus’ motives, but if Falc’ called his own father petit ver, then Vérité’s brother could be a strong ally. “She’ll suit you well, Eaduin.” Eaduin laughed dryly, growling. “I’ve no doubt of it, my manhood strains for her even now.” He blinked, freezing in horror as he realized he’d spoken aloud, heat rushing to his face in embarrassment. He could speak his mind to Judith, but this was Mother Anne. What had he been thinking to say such a thing to a nun? “Forgive my crudeness, Reverend Mother. I forgot myself, for you sounded so much like Judith just then…” He frowned. Their voices were similar. He turned to study the abbess’s face, noting her bone structure and the wise ice blue eyes that bore a strong resemblance to his foster mother. “You are her sister as well as her friend?” Anne smiled at him. “I am. Few people know us both well enough to make the connection.” “Why hide it?” “In the past, it was a danger to us both.”

20

Seeking Truth

“You mean from my father.” “Among others.” Mother Anne nodded. “Osweald lusted after my sister greatly, and had he seen the likeness between us, he might have made my life here in the abbey very difficult.” “How could you leave Judith with him? He raped her repeatedly.” “Judith chose to stay because the people needed her.” Eaduin looked away, his gut tight with anger. “The people.” “And one very frightened little boy.” He swallowed, feeling sick. “She stayed for me? It was my fault?” “Though she stayed for you, it hardly becomes your fault. She chose her life as surely as I chose mine.” “My father was a demon.” “But he was also a very handsome and passionate man. Judith hated him, but she wanted him too. We mere mortals can’t always guard our passions.” Eaduin turned to Mother Anne, barely controlling his rage. “He raped her.” She sighed as she looked up at him. “He did on several occasions, but not every foray into his bed was forced, Eaduin. You should speak to Judith about it, for she can explain it far better than I. What passed between them was complicated, and I could never understand it. I begged her to leave him, but she wouldn’t.” “He wouldn’t marry her.” “She wouldn’t marry him.” “She speaks coldly of him.” “No doubt. He was a cold, ruthless and cruel man. Unfortunately, Judith was not resistant to him, though she often wished she was.” Mother Anne shrugged. “Have you never seen relationships where the two people seem to dance a dangerous and complicated figure? Drawn to one another yet repulsed? Such was the relationship between your father and my sister.” She patted his arm. “I comprehend it no better than you, my son. Go, seek out your brother and send him to the bishop.” Eaduin nodded, his stomach churning. He strode away, his thoughts in turmoil. Did he want to discuss this with Judith? Perhaps he’d better, but only if Vérité was able to ease her pain.

21

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Three Vérité rode toward her new home on a horse Baron Eaduin kept for his use at the abbey. Though she tried not to stare at her new husband, she couldn’t prevent her gaze from returning repeatedly to him. He met her gaze with a warm smile, which brought heat rushing to her cheeks. Such a change in her life and all in one day. She looked away from him again and rubbed her fingers against the fine fabric of her dress. Before they left, Mother Anne had presented her with a several fine sets of garments, one of which she wore for her wedding. More of her new finery was packed in bags attached to her saddle and those of the men. She did not doubt the garments pleased Eaduin and quivered as she recalled the hunger on his face when she appeared in her new raiment. His eyes had narrowed and he’d licked his lips. She’d felt as a sheep must feel when it sights a hungry wolf. Contrary to the sheep, however, she wanted this wolf to capture and devour her. Yearned for it, in fact. Her body tingled each time he’d looked at her since. She throbbed between her legs, wet with need. The constant movement of the horse offered no ease but merely exacerbated the discomfort. Vérité didn’t know whether she longed for this evening or feared it, for she would go to her lord’s bed and he would have the right to make use of her as he saw fit. Would he use her as he had Mistress Emma, or would he mount her until he’d spilt his seed then roll away? Would she feel pleasure bordering on pain, or merely pain that was a pleasure when it was done? She knew what she wished for, but what did he want? Her first duty would be to Judith, so it may be days before she discovered the answer to her questions. She didn’t know which to wish for—his immediate possession of her or a deferment from the marriage bed. The day had been a revelation for Vérité. Why would her father consent to this marriage and no other? The biggest surprise was when Mother Anne told her a dowry was being held for her in the storage rooms of the abbey and would be sent over as soon as possible. They’d had no time to review it, but if any of it matched the finery of the rich green gown she now wore and the other clothing that had been packed, it would be amazing indeed. Eaduin watched Vérité out of the corner of his eye, trying to assess her mood. Did she want him as badly as he wanted her? When she’d walked down the stairs from Mother Anne’s chambers after changing into the clothes she now wore, he’d felt stunned. Her hips were rounded with delightful curves he wanted to explore with his hands and mouth. The rise of her belly left him aching to fill her with his seed and plant a 22

Seeking Truth

child in her womb. Her full breasts made his hands ache to stroke them. He’d been battling his hard cock ever since they’d met, but finally seeing her as a lady had been his undoing. Want had slammed his gut. Desire set him on fire and lust had nearly taken him to his knees. He praised God once again for his loose and long tunic else everyone would know exactly how he felt. Only as they rode toward home had his need abated even slightly. He glanced over at Godwin. Unfortunately his brother knew his pain and was trying his level best not to laugh out loud at Eaduin’s predicament. Godwin’s light blue eyes met his again and still the laughter lurked there. He could do without his brother’s humor just now. “Godwin, ride ahead and assemble the household to meet the new baroness.” “As you will, Brother.” Godwin winked, spurring his horse to ride away. As his brother rode away, Eaduin nudged his mount closer to Vérité. “My people know I went to the abbey to seek aid for Judith. They won’t expect anything from you at this time.” “Are you certain?” “I am. Judith must come first, from her all else will follow. Vérité, she sent me on a quest today, and I found the answer I sought.” “Are you sure I am the answer to your quest?” “Definitely. Judith was purposefully vague but forceful in spite of her pain. I have always accepted her knowledge.” “As a gift of God?” Eaduin’s crinkled his brow at her worried expression. “Yea, her gift is of God. Do you doubt it?” “Nay. But others have.” “You mean that horrible Sister Berthe creature?” Vérité nodded. “She’s a bitter crone who fears the world and everything in it. In some ways I pity her.” “As do I.” As they rounded a bend in the road, approaching from the south, Kempe Castle rose on a promontory over the sea to its east. The westering sun bathed the stone of his castle with a golden glow as the turrets rose against the pink and orange of the sky. The road they followed led down into a green valley and over a stone bridge. The bridge led to a tall stone wall stretching around the base of the promontory on which the main keep stood. Nestled within the bailey walls below the keep stood the village of Kempe Heath. Eaduin was proud of his home and his ability to shelter three hundred souls there under his protection. “Oh how lovely,” she breathed. Her open expression filled with pleasure and her features lit with appreciation. Eaduin’s pride in his keep was never stronger than seeing his new lady’s approval. “I’ll take you on a tour of the keep and the village tomorrow morning, my lady.” 23

Francesca Hawley

“Thank you, I would enjoy it.” They rode across a bridge-covered moat, through heavy gates, and a long stone tunnel that made up the curtain wall. Vérité looked up before quickly looking away with a shudder. His castle had formidable protection from invasion and the murder holes were a first defense. Eaduin noted her quick recognition of their grim purpose, even though he wished he could shield her from the need for such a defense. As they rode into the outer courtyard, crowds of people paused in their activities to watch the party on horseback. It looked as though every soul who lived in Kempe Heath was about on business. Eaduin hid a smile as he nodded to his vassals when they bowed or curtseyed, as appropriate. Their curiosity about his mission was apparent as they stared at Vérité. Most of his people were loyal to him, having hated and feared his father and older sister. In fact, he was probably the first member of his family to be esteemed rather than dreaded by his people in generations. He hoped his new wife would come to share their loyalty to him in time. As they reached the main keep, they slowed to dismount. Vérité studied the household members assembled and waiting, nerves fluttering in her belly. She recognized Judith’s oldest daughter Bronwen easily because she had accompanied her mother to the abbey many times through the years. Judith’s second daughter Eirene wasn’t present but was probably at her mother’s side. Vérité was fond of the younger boys Wystan and Leofric for they had visited the abbey with their mother too. The rest of the household watched Vérité with interest but no hostility, which was the best she could hope for in the circumstances. Eaduin lifted her from the saddle, setting her gently on the ground. He bowed and took her hand, setting it on his arm, turning to the assembly. “Gather around please. I have found a healer to serve us here in the castle. She comes here as my new wife Lady Vérité. Please make her welcome and aid her in her work.” Judith’s children smiled. Bronwen stepped forward to embrace her, and with their easy approval, Vérité could see the rest of the household members relax in acceptance. Vérité greeted everyone briefly. She would have time to know them better for she would have a lifetime here. She set her hand on Bronwen’s arm. “Where is Judith? I must go to her.” “I’ll take you.” Bronwen led her away from the household members who now offered Lord Eaduin congratulations on his good fortune. Vérité wished she knew whether it was good fortune for them both or not. Vérité grew hopelessly lost as they wound around back staircases up to the floor that held the family rooms. The main corridor was wide and guards were posted. The castle must have been completed in recent years for it to hold the luxury of separate rooms for family members. The home she grew up in held one great room where the household slept. The only concession to privacy was a bed behind curtains for the lord

24

Seeking Truth

and lady. She preferred this much better. Knowing the entire household wouldn’t hear her lord bed her this night was a relief. The most elaborate door along the corridor was large and made of thick wood. Bronwen smiled briefly at the guard who stood there before opening the door and leading Vérité inside. The room was large. Plain chairs dotted the room, and along one wall a large unadorned table sat. However, with so much space she could set up a loom or work on mending as needed. Windows faced to the south…glass windows. Vérité nearly gasped at the expense of such things, but they would let in lovely light while holding in warmth, even in winter. Bronwen continued across the room to a large curtained bed. Vérité paused. Its size proclaimed this the lord’s chamber. Why bring her here? She should be going to see Judith. “I’m not dead and I’m not asleep. Come in if you’re coming.” Vérité jumped, hurrying across the room to where Judith’s grumpy voice rose from the bedding of a large elaborate bed. When she looked down at her friend, she held back a cry of dismay. Judith was a shadow of her former self—her skin waxen, her face lined with pain—both present and remembered. “Judith, you sound amazingly well.” “The pain has lessened slightly.” Vérité edged onto the bed, taking Judith’s hand. “Is it bearable or do you need pain medicine?” “It’s tolerable for now, and I don’t want to be fuzzyheaded.” The older woman nodded to Bronwen who kissed her mother’s forehead then left them alone together. After they were alone, Judith took her in with a pleased smile, as satisfied as a cat with a mouse. “So he went to fetch you after all?” Vérité couldn’t restrain a smile of her own. “You’re a devious woman, Mistress Judith Sagar.” “I merely pushed him in the direction he should go. The decision was his. Since you are here and wearing such finery, may I assume you are Eaduin’s new bride?” Vérité frowned. “I am.” “Are you unhappy child?” Consternation and concern crossed Judith’s face as she patted Vérité’s hand. “Unhappy, nay. Uncertain, yea. My father wished this match, which bodes ill. My father does nothing without purpose.” “Things happen in their own time. You and Eaduin were meant to marry. It will be up to the two of you if the marriage succeeds or not.” Vérité shook her head. “I wish you spoke in riddles less often than you do.” She paused. If Judith was so set in her purpose, had she manipulated Lord Eaduin? “Judith, you have been in grave pain, haven’t you?”

25

Francesca Hawley

Vérité relaxed her control over her gift to actively use it for the first time in months. By relaxing her sight, she would know whether Judith spoke the truth. She studied the glow around her teacher. “You need not try so hard, child. I have been in grave pain.” Judith sighed as did Vérité. The older woman spoke truth. The glow that surrounded her, though tattered from her illness, hadn’t flickered as it would have if Judith lied. “Pain enough to truly send Eaduin out for relief?” “Yea, Vérité. I don’t think I could endure the pain much longer. It was a blessing to have it ease on its own as day broke.” Vérité nodded, relaxing her shoulders in relief. She hated lies and manipulation on the part of others. She felt relief Judith hadn’t used it to achieve her ends, though she grieved at the pain her friend had endured. “So do you have questions about your wedding eve?” “You know I do not.” Vérité blushed as she remembered the past. “How would I know?” “Because I described him to you when I was a girl but you never told me who he was. When he arrived at the abbey today, I nearly fainted.” Judith laughed at her disgruntled accusation, blue eyes twinkling. “Why do you laugh, Judith?” “I envisioned you together even then, but there were things that prevented you from being married. I didn’t want you to hope for something that might not come to pass.” “Had Lady Elspeth not died—” “Yea. You were meant to be Eaduin’s wife, not his leman. It was impossible then. Now he is free, and you’ve married him. I think you’ll enjoy the marriage bed. In fact, I hope you do because I want you and Eaduin to be happy. Both of you deserve it.” Judith shifted in bed, wincing. “You have pain again?” “Yea.” “I have syrup of poppies.” “It hasn’t been touching the pain, lass.” “It will if mixed with a drop of hemlock.” Judith smiled. “You have it with you?” “I do. I can’t guarantee it will ease your pain, but we can try.” “Blessings to God. It will ease my pain for now. I thought to explain it to Eaduin, but when I mentioned hemlock, he nearly expired himself.” “Men seem gifted at inflicting pain but are little use when healing it.” Vérité spoke sharply. “It depends on the healing, my lady,” Eaduin spoke quietly from directly behind her. 26

Seeking Truth

Vérité stiffened, biting her lip. He hadn’t heard what she’d said about him, had he? She raised her brows at Judith, who shook her head. No, he’d not heard. Instead he heard her sharp words deriding men. She turned her head to assess his mood. Was he angry at her? He didn’t seem angry for he settled a gentle smile on Judith. Then he looked back at her and his smile widened to a grin, gratitude in his eyes. “Judith’s pain eased earlier in the day. Mayhap, my medicine won’t be needed at all, my lord.” “Oh, it will be needed, child. Just not at this moment.” Judith patted her hand again, her eyes settling on Eaduin’s face. “I would speak to you privately while my mind is working and unfogged by pain or drug, Eaduin.” “But I should stay,” Vérité argued. Eaduin took her hand in his to assist her to rise then he turned her hand over to press a warm kiss to the inside of her wrist. “We shall be fine. If you are needed, I will call for you. Bronwen awaits you in the hallway. She will introduce you to the staff.” Vérité reluctantly followed, leaving Eaduin and Judith alone, but she couldn’t restrain the avid curiosity that filled her. Eaduin’s face had become grave—his generous mouth set in a firm line. Was she to be the topic of discussion? Or did something else trouble them both?

27

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Four Eaduin avoided Judith’s gaze, pacing around the room. How did he address her now after his talk with the abbess? Knowing Judith had come to his father willingly, if not always, at least sometimes, left him confused. He glanced around the room with a shudder. The lord’s room had always disturbed him so he’d been only too happy to give up his place to Judith when she fell ill. The first few nights he had slept in here after his father’s death had been eerie as he’d sensed his father’s presence. Eaduin had called on a priest to bless the room for only a servant of God could chase away the lingering effects of his father’s rule. Moreover, Eaduin didn’t want or need the old man’s shade paying him any nocturnal visits. He cleared his throat, finally forcing his gaze to his foster mother’s beloved face. It was still drawn with pain but less than before. “You have questions for me, Eaduin?” Eaduin met Judith’s pale eyes as she smiled and he couldn’t speak for a moment as he studied her beloved face. She had always been lovely—firm and rounded with the vibrant rosy hue of health, but now her skin was sallow and gaunt, her blonde hair dull and lifeless. He missed the bounteous hugs she used to give him. She had lost weight, except in her abdomen where the growth swelled. It was as if she’d aged a decade in but a few days. Pain had a way of drawing health and happiness from a person. He moved to her side, sitting gingerly on the bed. She grasped his large hand with her frail one. Seeing her hands shake made tears gather in his eyes but he blinked them away. All his life, she’d been his rock. What would he do without her? He lifted his face to look at his foster mother with a determined smile. “You are beautiful as ever, my love.” “Lies aren’t necessary, my lad. We both know I look as though the demons of hell have been skewering my innards with their pitchforks.” Eaduin hissed. “Don’t speak so. If anyone has entrance into the gates of Heaven, it is you.” He lifted her withered hand to his lips to drop a light kiss onto the knuckles. She smiled weakly. “I pray you are right, my son,” she sighed. “Where are my other children?” Eaduin held her hand to his face and rubbed his check against her palm. “Godwin was in the stables and should join us soon. I think he went to find Wystan and Leofric. I’m told Eirene is in the kitchens.” Eaduin frowned at Judith. “Does Eirene still talk of joining the convent? There is a dreadful nun there.” “Sister Berthe?”

28

Seeking Truth

“Yea.” “I know her. She is a very sad soul who makes her own misery.” “Not only for herself but for all around her. Eirene would be better off elsewhere. With her special gift, she would be in danger from such a horrid crone.” He knew he was avoiding the inevitable, but better to speak of his sister now. “I have told her I wish her to marry, but she wants to live at the abbey for a time.” Eaduin growled. He nodded grudgingly at Judith. “Very well, but I don’t want her allowed to take orders without express permission from me.” “Mother Anne knows.” “You are the girl’s mother, so I will bow to your will on this,” Eaduin grumbled. “A first.” Judith laughed teasingly when he raised an eyebrow. “You, bowing to my will on anything.” “On the contrary you rule us all with an iron fist, love.” Judith smiled at the affection in his voice, returning to the previous topic. “I would see my children and my grandchildren. I wish Isolda could be here because I would like to bid her goodbye as my time draws short. Have you sent your daughter word?” “You’ll outlive us all.” Eaduin avoided the question, bowing his head. Judith’s hands reached up to catch his chin, drawing his gaze to meet hers. “You know better, as do I. Send word to her so she may come if she is able.” “I will send a rider to her tomorrow,” Eaduin conceded. “It is well to face reality and make plans rather than live life in a fantasy world.” Judith’s soft words tore at his heart. If not for her, he would have become a human monster or a broken man, or both. How could he go on after he lost her? She smiled into his shadowed eyes. “You will carry on as you always have, Eaduin. Never fear. You’ll have your siblings near to help you. And now you have a wife and mayhap more children.” She smiled at him. “Unlikely.” He tried to smile, but his eyes began to fill with tears. How he would miss her teasing. He tried to look away, but she held his chin tightly, her grip surprisingly firm. “Tears aren’t unmanly, Eaduin. Your ability to care sets you apart. Your father and older sister lacked compassion, which is why they were so cruel to others.” He nodded as tears fell down his cheeks. He knew they all depended on him for strength, and he would give all of it, to the last ounce, for all of them. Judith’s eyes were clear as she watched him, filled with the otherworldly knowledge she possessed. She’d always been able to see the future in ways others could not…an ability she hid from Eaduin’s father for he would have threatened Judith further had he ever found out. When Eaduin was a child, he would have gone to his grave rather than reveal her

29

Francesca Hawley

secret to his father or to Annys. One time he nearly did… He put the thought aside. Now was not the time to dwell on the past lest he grow more maudlin. Still, his discussion with Mother Anne forced itself back to his mind. All his life he’d thought Judith had never reciprocated Osweald physically, yet Mother Anne alluded to something different. “Judith…” “Something bothers you, my son. Now we come to it.” He met her blue eyes. “I spoke with Mother Anne…your sister.” Judith laughed. “It took you long enough to realize it.” “Perhaps. I’m just thankful my father never knew.” “Oh he knew. He chose to leave Anne alone.” “But the abbess said…” “She didn’t know. His knowing would have troubled her.” “Did you go willingly to my father’s bed?” he burst out, finally able to contain the question no longer, rising to pace beside the bed. “Ah. She told you, did she?” He turned back, glaring at her. “Yea. Is it true?” “It is. At first I lay with your father very willingly. He was a capable lover when he chose to be. Both Godwin and Bronwen were conceived, if not in love, at least in lust. Does it give you a disgust of me?” Did it? He shook his head. “Nay. I just don’t understand. You speak of him with such contempt, yet you let him…” Judith smiled sadly. “At first, I thought he loved me. Then I discovered he was incapable of loving anyone.” “He loved Annys.” “He did not. She pleased him, as had her mother, merely because he owned them. Owning people was all he knew of love. He was a very sad and sorry man, really. Beautiful to look upon but diseased of spirit.” She shook her head. “He hated me.” “He didn’t hate you. He feared you. You wouldn’t be owned, and neither would your mother. Neither of you cared to please him. In fact, both of you went out of your way to displease him. He couldn’t comprehend it so it frightened him.” “He didn’t fear me.” “Not as you understand it, but it was the root of all your dealings. You told him to go to hell, and he detested it, so he ordered Annys to torment you.” “He ordered…” “I will grant it was her natural inclination. She was jealous of you and only too happy to please him by doing as requested. She wished she didn’t care what Osweald thought, but she did, so she hated you because you didn’t try to please him. She lacked your confidence.” 30

Seeking Truth

“It makes no sense.” “It doesn’t,” she agreed. “Sometimes life makes no sense. Your father and your older sister cared only about what others could do for them, as if they were entitled. I think their souls were flawed in some fundamental way.” “Then why did you willingly lay with him?” “At first, I thought we loved each other. Later, after I discovered the truth, I went to his bed because I couldn’t help myself.” Judith shook her head. “I’m not proud of it, and I’ve never understood my need to be with him. Sometimes I’d wake to find him taking me, but I’d be unable to prevent my response. Other times, I just needed his touch, even though I hated him and hated myself for desiring him.” She shrugged sadly. “You told me…” “I never told you he raped me. I told you he used me, and he did. He used my need and my desire. He was a master of manipulation, as you well know.” “I do. It seems you learned well from him.” Judith smiled slightly. “Perhaps, Eaduin. But I never manipulate others to enhance their pain. I’ve encouraged you and all my children onto a particular path, but the ultimate decision always lay with you and your siblings. I’ve never lied to achieve my ends, and I never will. I am not your father nor your sister.” Eaduin sat down beside her again. “I’m sorry. I know you have never sought to hurt others and I didn’t bring this up to tire you.” “I’m glad you asked me. We need to address the past so you can move into the future. You still have parts of your past to address, but I won’t be here to help you. Just know I love you and always will.” “And I love you. I don’t understand you, but I love you.” “You understand me well enough. Tonight is your wedding night, then?” Eaduin’s cheeks grew warm. “Yea.” “You? Blushing?” Judith chuckled. “You must want her very much.” “I do.” He shook his head. “From the first look…” He changed position on the bed, trying to ease his re-hardening cock. “I know the feeling well, Eaduin. It was how I felt about your father. The difference is I wanted a cruel man, but you have the good fortune to want a kind and decent woman. Be thankful she is different from your sister.” “Are you sure of her, Judith?” “I have no doubts, Eaduin, but you must decide for yourself.” She patted his hand then grinned at him. “I also have no doubt you’ll enjoy your marriage bed.” “I pray you are right.” “I am. You were meant to be together and I’m glad if I helped bring it about.”

31

Francesca Hawley

Eaduin smiled as Godwin, Wystan and Leofric entered the room. He met their uncertain expressions with reassurance, rising so the younger men could visit with their mother. It was difficult not to be selfish because he wanted her to himself. Judith caught his hand before he walked away, squeezing it to show she understood. He gently let her hand drop to the blanket as he moved away. “Eaduin.” He turned, surprised at the strength of her voice. “Go get some sleep. You can’t help me if you can’t stand upright.” “I’m fine.” “Eaduin, don’t make me get up and take you by the ear to tuck you in.” Judith warned. He grinned. On multiple occasions when he stayed up too long working on accounts or completing other duties, she had ordered him to bed in just such a way. “Nay, ma’am.” “Four hours, minimum.” Judith ordered. He met Godwin’s eyes. His younger brother was trying to keep from laughing at him with little success. “After all, you need your strength for your wedding night.” Eaduin colored but couldn’t restrain a laugh. “Very well, mother hen. I will go to sleep. Rest and be at peace until I return,” Eaduin assured her. Judith nodded acceptance and Eaduin left the room, turning to walk down the hall to his old room. He slept there now, on those rare occasions he left Judith’s side. This had been the room he shared with his late wife Elspeth, who was Isolda’s mother, and the room in which he would begin his married life with a new wife. He licked his lips, thinking of Vérité in his bed, naked amidst the rich furnishings of this room. God, how he desired her. At least they’d not share his father’s old bed for it had been the only piece of his father’s furniture he’d had destroyed. Just the thought of sleeping there discomfited him for he’d had no desire to sleep where his sire had rested. Instead, he’d ordered a new bed built to his specifications. It filled this smaller room since it was built to fit the lord’s chamber. Eaduin crossed to the hearth to build up the embers smoldering there, staring into the flames until the fire burned warmly. The room brought back memories not only of his marriage but of his pain-filled youth. He remembered waking to find himself tied to his bed while his half sister Annys sat on his legs playing with his erection. He’d been little more than twelve years old while Annys had been seventeen—beautiful in her cold, arrogant way. He’d been painfully aroused, but her laughter had been cutting. Annys’ eyes had lit with pleasure as she had tormented him, enjoying his fear while she turned his arousal against him. Eaduin shivered. He swore then never to let a woman control him and to that he’d held. And always would. He pushed the old and painful memory away. Whenever he remembered his encounters with his older sister, he had nightmares and tonight he needed no nightmares to trouble his sleep. As the room warmed, he stripped off his clothes and

32

Seeking Truth

climbed nude into the bed. He crawled under the blankets with a sigh, fighting to quiet his mind and body to no avail. Vérité’s voluptuous beauty promised much, but she had lived most of her life in a convent. She might be as terrified of him as his late wife Elspeth had been. God help him if she was. Still. She looked more able to carry children than his late wife. Elspeth had lived not quite ten years beyond Isolda’s birth and in many ways despite his physical release, he’d felt painfully alone. She had encouraged him to seek relief elsewhere by taking a leman to ease his needs after the damage his daughter’s birth caused. So while Eaduin had slept beside Elspeth at night, he’d taken his pleasure in other beds. In this marriage, he wanted to take his pleasure with his wife as God intended. He prayed God would grant him solace inside the warm, wet body of his new wife. Experience had taught him he needed his women to submit freely to his desire. Every woman he’d taken understood what he asked of her from the first, and those who consented to be bound to his bed wept with pleasure. He made certain of it. With some of his past women, pleasure and pain became intertwined, and it was those lovers he’d kept the longest. He wondered, even hoped, Vérité might be one of those women. Eaduin fought the temptation of easing his hard cock with his hand now because he wanted to bury himself in Vérité later. Would he experience the intense pleasure of listening to her beg him to take her and ride her until she couldn’t walk? He prayed so. Eaduin forced his mind and eventually his body to relax, determined to lose himself in slumber for a few precious hours. When he awoke and opened his eyes, the room was dark with night. He’d slept deep and long when he should be feasting his new wife and looking after his people. He growled, sitting up to survey the room. The coals of the fire had been banked while he slept and the room was pleasantly warm. A ewer of water sat on its stand across the room. Next to it sat a plate of bread and cheese with a goblet of wine. He rose from the bed, crossed the room and washed himself, noting the clothes he’d thrown on the floor had been carried off. Neatly placed on the chair by the fire were a clean tunic and trews. He paused as he stared at the clothes, swallowing hard. How long had it been since someone had cared for him in this way? Judith arranged for things when he allowed it, but she’d not been well for months. Not since before Elspeth had died had he woken to find such thorough care taken to meet his needs, and Eaduin realized he’d missed it. He missed being cared for by a woman. He shook his head in dismay as he considered his solitary life. Eaduin had been content, or so he thought, but he hadn’t. Not really. He’d been making do. Maybe Vérité would answer all his needs. He prayed so. He dressed and enjoyed the food and wine before returning to the room where Judith slept. He crossed the room, making his way to the bed to see Judith lying with her head to one side, lifeless. He rushed to the bed, leaned close, relaxing only when he felt her breath against his cheek. He caught himself before he started to shake, leaning

33

Francesca Hawley

back to watch her draw a shallow breath, scared and sick at the same time. He’d thought… “She yet lives, my lord.” Vérité’s soft voice drifted to him from the fire. He searched the room for her. She sat in the shadows beside the fire with one of his tunics in her lap as she helped Bronwen with the mending. His sister smiled at him before returning her gaze to the fabric she held. “You found something to ease the pain?” he asked quietly. Vérité nodded. He gently touched Judith’s cheek and she smiled slightly in her sleep. He leaned forward to drop a kiss on her brow then moved to take an empty seat by the fire. “Thank you, Vérité. Her pain…” He shook his head, looking back at Judith so Vérité wouldn’t see his agony. “When did you last sleep?” He shrugged. “It’s unimportant.” “You can’t help her if you don’t care for yourself. Neither Bronwen nor Judith could remember the last time you left her side prior to this morning when you came to fetch me.” His gaze returned to his wife. “So you countermanded my orders to be awakened after four hours?” “I was here. There was no need for you to be awake. Either I could help or I couldn’t.” “I could have shared the evening meal with you. Made you welcome in your new home.” “You married me to act as a healer, my lord. I don’t need to be courted.” “Eaduin.” “Excuse me?” “I’m your husband now. I give you leave to call me by my Christian name.” “Very well.” She swallowed then glanced at the bed where Judith slept. “I’ll stay here tonight to care for Judith.” “Nay, you won’t.” “My lord—” He cleared his throat and she gave him a guilty look. “Eaduin…” “Tonight is our wedding eve, Vérité.” She flushed pink, as did his sister. “I know, but I’m needed here.” He pointed to where Judith quietly slept. “Not right now. Bronwen can fetch you if Judith has need of you. We need some time apart.” Eaduin wanted to scream. At her. At himself. He bleated like a petulant child but, damn it, he needed to bed his wife before he burst. He needed her even more knowing he had Judith’s blessing on his marriage.

34

Seeking Truth

Vérité glanced up at him as she stitched his tunic, licking her lips nervously at the heat his eyes couldn’t hide. He didn’t want to frighten her, but if he didn’t get inside her soon he would be impossible to be near. “My lord, I shouldn’t…” “Go ahead, Vérité. You’ll just be down the hall, and I’ll call for you if you’re needed. You can sit with Judith tomorrow night.” Bronwen winked at him, her amusement at his plight evident. The dreadful wench was as bad as her older brother Godwin. “But you should be in bed yourself, Bronwen. Especially now.” Vérité leaned close to Bronwen, who shook her head. His brow drew down as he caught some silent message pass between the two women. What did Vérité mean…especially now? Just as he was about to ask, his half sister spoke. “Tomorrow, sister. Go with your husband.” Eaduin wanted to kiss Bronwen to thank her, losing track of the previous comment. He stood, holding out his hand to Vérité. “Let me show you the rooms we’ll share…for now.” He nodded his head toward Judith, and his wife nodded in understanding. She bit her lip, rising to place her small hand in his. Was she scared of him? Why was she so reluctant? He tucked her hand into his elbow to lead her from the room, determined to have an answer.

35

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Five Vérité was drawn to the warmth of Eaduin’s body as they walked down the hallway. All day she relived her memories of watching Eaduin pleasure Mistress Emma and imagining it was herself instead. Her body throbbed with need for his touch even though the Church taught it was wrong to feel such desire. The marriage bed was for the getting of children, not the slaking of lust. Eaduin led her to an entrance, bowing her into their chambers. He closed the door quietly behind them, yet it reverberated as loudly as the clanging of a gate in Vérité’s mind. She feared being taken by a man for the first time, yet she longed for it as she yearned for Eaduin. She wanted his touch, his taste, his possession of her. She shivered, crossing the room to stand before the fire, holding out her hands toward the heat. The rest of the chamber was deep in shadow. “Do you fear me, Vérité?” His quiet question brought her around to face him. He leaned on an elaborately carved table along one wall, his face revealing little. For the first time in her life she had trouble seeing truth. She knew Eaduin truly wanted her, but she didn’t know why. Was it only for her healing skills? Did he, could he, want her as much as she wanted him? She cleared her throat so she would be able to speak. “I don’t fear you, my lord.” “Ahem…” “Eaduin…but I’m…uncertain. This is new for me. You have been married before, so you know what to expect. I don’t.” Eaduin crossed the room to her, reaching for a taper. He bent to the fire and lit it, moving around the room to light several candles before returning to her side. Vérité watched Eaduin’s movements with longing and hunger. When he reached her side, he blew out the taper and looked into her eyes. His deep brown eyes reflected compassion as well as desire. He lifted his hand to trace the curve of her jaw with his thumb, leaving her trembling with barely contained excitement. “I know what it is to be married, but being here with you is as new to me as it is to you. I don’t know what you’ll expect from your husband or whether I’ll disappoint you.” He smiled slightly, lowering his head to brush her parted lips with his. Vérité stretched toward him, unable to prevent a moan from escaping as he lifted his head. She slowly opened her eyes, meeting the fire in his. “I don’t think you’ll disappoint me, Eaduin.” He grinned, teasing her, “I appreciate your confidence in my abilities, my lady.”

36

Seeking Truth

Vérité giggled. What in Heaven? She hadn’t giggled since she was a young girl, but Eaduin made her feel young again. He smiled down at her, tracing her lips with his forefinger. She parted her lips, her breath short. Eaduin moved close, looking down into her eyes, and Vérité’s belly quivered. He traced the contours of her face, making her shiver at his slightest caress. She licked her lips as she stared up at him. His fingertips trailed down her neck, along her shoulders and down her arms. Eaduin took her hands in his, tugging her toward the bed. His dark gaze teased her, but his fierce need was merely banked. Goose bumps rose over her skin as she anticipated the promises lurking within his eyes. Promises of desire fulfilled and pleasure of which she could only dream. As they crossed the room, the glow from the candles lit the surrounding dark. He lifted her fingers to his lips, lightly kissing the back of her hands. Turning her workworn hands over, he dropped gentle kisses into her palms. “I’ll build up the fire so we can be warm.” He strode to the grate, kneeling to add dry wood and kindling, which quickly caught fire, spreading light as well as warmth through the room. The light from the stronger fire combined with the candlelight to illuminate the room. The smell of wood smoke tickled her nose but was carried away up the flue rather than billowing out as had typically happened in the motte and bailey castle of her youth. The flare of the fire made the wood in the room glimmer, causing Vérité to notice the other rich furnishings with a gasp. The high bed was massive with a carved wood headboard and footboard. Each built thick to serve the dual purpose of providing warmth and storage. Wrought iron bars hung across each side along the top frame of the bed. From the bars hung fine linen curtains within woven wool draperies. A wool tapestry covered the top of the upper portion of the wood frame to keep the warmth within on even the coldest nights. Wooden steps led from the floor up to the side of the high bed. Only a very wealthy lord could afford such furnishings, yet she had accused him of marrying her for her dowry. Such opulence testified he needed nothing from her save her skills as a healer. What a fool he must think her! She swallowed as she stared at the bed. “My lord, I had no idea…” He turned to look at her, his brows creasing in a frown, unaware of her scrutiny of the furnishings rather than him. “No idea of what?” “The bed…” Eaduin looked at the bed then back at her, his expression growing more puzzled. He rose, taking her hands. “My lady, are you afraid? I can assure you I will be gentle with you if you wish.” “Nay. I mean. I…” Vérité took a deep breath. “You must think me completely lacking in wits to suggest you would need my dowry when it is painfully obvious you do not.”

37

Francesca Hawley

“Ah.” He smiled, kissing her brow. “Vérité, you had no way of knowing my background. My father was quite talented at making alliances for his financial advantage.” “He was talented at many things.” Eaduin stiffened, his open expression closing with a snap. He dropped her hands and took a step back. “You knew my father?” “I met him once when I was a child. A meeting I wish had never occurred.” “Why?” Vérité shrugged. “It wasn’t a pleasant one.” Eaduin relaxed, approaching her again then tipping her chin up with a finger. “Did he hurt you? He had a fondness for causing pain for others.” “Nay. Well, not directly, at any rate.” “You perplex me, my lady.” “He and your sister stopped at my father’s demesnes. During the course of the visit I was sick on your sister.” Vérité jumped as Eaduin threw his head back in delighted laughter. “Damn, I wish I’d seen it. She deserved such treatment and more.” “Deserved or not, my father exiled me to the abbey for my transgression.” Vérité had no intention of explaining it was the reason why she vomited that was the root of the problem. She couldn’t tell him until she knew if she could trust him. “How old were you?” “Eight.” “And now?” “Six and twenty.” “You spent eighteen years there because you threw up on my sister?” “Something of that nature.” Vérité shrugged, staring at the floor. It was true…and it was a lie. She hated lies, yet here she was telling something perilously close to one. “My lady, I beg your apology. My family has much to answer for but I can but promise you this Kempe will treat you far better than others you have known.” He leaned forward to press a kiss of blessing upon her lips then her cheek and the sensitive underside of her chin. He sighed. “May I prevail upon you to remove the wimple and veil you wear?” Vérité swallowed, reaching up she removed the polished metal circlet which rested on her brow to hold her veil in place. She pulled off the veil, folding it carefully to put off the inevitable. If only he would take her fully clothed, but she knew he wouldn’t. Would he be as repulsed by her hair as her father always had? Carefully she pulled the wimple over her head and unwrapped her fabric covered braids, revealing her unnaturalness to her new lord. She kept her gaze firmly fixed to the floor so she

38

Seeking Truth

wouldn’t see repulsion replace his desire. His gasp was testimony enough. Vérité grabbed the veil, throwing it over her head to cover the heathen color. “God in Heaven, Vérité.” “I know. It’s horrid. I’m sorry.” “Horrid?” Eaduin lifting her chin to meet his gaze while he pulled the veil off her hair. “Why would you think it was horrid?” “I have my mother’s hair.” “I don’t understand. This is a bad thing?” His brows drew down, not with disgust but with concern, and his dark brown eyes were warm and kind. “My father always said it was heathen hair.” “How can hair be heathen?” “I never understood either for Mother was baptized in the Church. Our lands are to the west, and my mother was part of a truce agreement to prevent a war between her family and the de Sauigni family. Father was none too pleased to marry her for he’d preferred another.” “Well, I have no complaints about the color. Your hair isn’t heathen…it’s the rich deep red brown of cherry wood and it’s glorious.” He slowly unwound the long braids, which fell down her back, spreading the hair out to run his fingers through it. He lifted strands to his face, rubbing them against his cheek. “Soft too. Do I detect the smell of lavender?” “You do. I regularly use a few drops of lavender water when I rinse it.” “Pray continue, it not only looks heavenly, it smells of Heaven too.” Eaduin slipped an arm around her waist, pulling her close. “Do I dare hope the rest of you is scented as well?” Heat rose in Vérité’s cheeks. “Yea, though Sister Berthe would have beaten me had she known.” “I am not Sister Berthe. Please, be free with the scent if you wish it.” Eaduin dipped his head to her neck, breathing in deeply. “Mmmm. Very nice.” “You wouldn’t prefer rose scent? I have rose oil.” He lifted his head, wrinkling his nose. “Nay. My sister used to reek of roses. Now the smell makes me sick to my stomach.” “I understand. I will refrain from the use of rose scents.” “Thank you. My older half sister’s beauty existed only on the surface.” “I know.” “Do you? Did you have occasion to spend much time with her?” “Just when I was sick on her. She backhanded me for ruining her dress.” Eaduin lowered his head, sighing. “I’m sorry you were forced to endure her even for a few minutes.” “Bronwen bears her a strong resemblance.” 39

Francesca Hawley

“Physically, but in spirit my younger sister could not be more different. I think her mother had much to do with her kinder temperament. Those of us who know Judith find her very presence redemptive.” Vérité smiled. “I am in complete agreement.” She caught a glimpse of sorrow steal into his face and stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek to offer comfort. “I’ll miss her as well. Perhaps not so much as you, but she kept me sane in my prison and I shall always be grateful to her.” Eaduin pulled her into his arms, burying his face in the curve of her shoulder with a shudder. She clasped her arms around him, massaging his back to offer what solace she could as she sensed this was the first time he’d been allowed to express his grief. The soft velvet of his deep red bliaut rubbed her cheek, and she caught a spicy scent. She didn’t know if it was his unique smell or rich perfume, but it pleased her nonetheless. Just when their embrace changed from consolation to exploration she didn’t know, but Vérité felt Eaduin’s hands press into the small of her back. The warm heat of his large hands rose to her shoulders then began a leisurely descent down her curves, continuing until he cupped her rounded bottom in his hands, squeezing softly as he drew her hips toward his. Soft lips teased the sensitive skin of her neck. She cocked her head to give him freer access, whimpering as she pulled him close, her fingers digging into his muscled shoulders. His breath tickled against her earlobe and she gasped when she felt the nip of his teeth. Not even the swell of the tide could have prevented her from arching into him, copying his actions by pressing kisses to his neck while she clutched at him. “Ah, Vérité. That’s right.” He lifted his head and she slowly opened her eyes to stare into his. Though he wore his satisfaction at her response like a fine cloak, there was no scorn for her willing surrender. Only pleasure. He cupped her face with one of his hands, his thumb stroking her lips, fingertips brushing over her cheek, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. She moaned when he dropped featherlight kisses over her face. His mouth covered hers softly, growing more forceful and intimate with each successive kiss. He teased her mouth open, dipping his tongue inside her parted lips. Vérité jumped, her eyes opening as his tongue explored her mouth. As he lifted his head, his dark eyes seemed lit with an inner fire. “Do I frighten you?” “Nay, I’ve just never been kissed this way.” Vérité’s eyes unfocused as desire filled her. “Have you been kissed in other ways?” His expression darkened, and she saw the glow around him change slightly. Vérité blinked as she realized she could read his soul, though she hadn’t concentrated on her gift to do so. His spirit reddened with passion, but as he asked his question, parts of the spirit halo surrounding him darkened. She didn’t know whether to feel pleasure or dismay at seeing the jealousy flash through him. 40

Seeking Truth

“Only chastely by my brother.” The glow of his aura lightened to a brighter red again, indicating the strong desire he felt for her. “And your father?” “Nay, my father never showed me affection.” “I’m very sorry, Vérité. I understand. Truly. My father never showed me any affection either, but I’m heartily sorry for the lack in your life.” He kissed her and again his spirit lightened, reflecting a glow of gold and white at his genuine concern. She didn’t understand how she saw his glow without consciously focusing on it. She saw very few people’s spirits without effort. Only her mother’s and her brother Falc’s. Ah, but there had been two others—she’d forgotten. The spirits of Lord Osweald and Lady Annys had all but assaulted her, which is why she sickened in their presence. Perhaps it was the Kempe bloodline that spoke to her, though Eaduin did not make her sick, quite the opposite. When Eaduin kissed her neck, her thoughts stilled in favor of the sensations surging through her. His mouth teased her skin while his rough cheek sensitized her. The contrary textures increased her need for Eaduin’s warmth. His touch. His possession. She wanted more but didn’t know how to ask him for it, so she clung to him reveling in the exploration of his mouth, her gasps quickening with excitement. “Eaduin. Please…” “Please what?” She drew back to look up into his face. “I don’t know. I just know I don’t want you to stop.” He smiled. “Good, for I don’t want to stop any more than you want me to. Come, let us remove your garments.” Eaduin unbuckled her girdle, letting it fall to the floor, then he released the lacing at her sides to loosen her kirtle. Vérité swallowed hard as he gathered the voluminous fabric of her overdress into his hands, lifting it upward over her head. He tossed it onto a nearby chair as he stared at her then he groaned, shifting his hips. Though she still wore her underdress and shift, she felt naked and vulnerable before his desire. Heat rushed into her face. Eaduin licked his lips, his hands clenching and his muscles tight while his gaze made a leisurely tour of her from head to foot. If she questioned his hunger before, seeing him thus erased all doubt. Fire filled his eyes as he fought to control his need for her. All those years ago, he’d looked at Mistress Emma similarly, but never had she hoped he might look upon her with such need. Vérité exulted in it. She walked over to him with more confidence than she felt. “And you, my lord? We should make you more comfortable as well.” He caught her hands as she reached for his belt, her gaze flew to his. “My lady, I stand on the edge of a knife. Push even slightly and I’ll tumble, taking my feeble control with me. I have no wish to frighten or hurt you.”

41

Francesca Hawley

“Has it been so long since you’ve had a lover, then?” “I have been alone far longer than I care to admit.” “I wouldn’t think a man like you would spend his nights alone.” “A man like me?” “A handsome, powerful and wealthy baron. Any one of those traits might incite lust in a woman.” “Do you think so? Is it my power and wealth that attract you?” “Nay.” “My pleasing features, then?” “Nay.” Vérité blushed at the lie, her body always betrayed her in some way when she told a total falsehood and this was one of those times. “Truly, my lady? Your blush belies your denial.” She shivered as his finger brushed her cheek. “Well, I must admit your handsomeness appeals to me but neither power nor wealth can sway me. Wealth and power can be a blessing or a curse. It depends on the use made of them and position is the same.” “True enough. I accept you enjoy the way I look, for I must admit I feel the same for you. Your beautiful hair is but a fitting crown for your luscious form.” He pulled his red velvet bliaut over his head, tossing it to where her gown rested, leaving behind a fine white linen undertunic. “There. Now we are equally bare.” “Ah, but I have on one more layer than you, my lord.” “So you do. Your underdress is a lovely golden color but let us remove it.” Eaduin helped her ease it off so she stood before him in only her shift. She trembled under his gaze. “The linen of your shift is so fine I can see your tight, pink nipples and your red nether hairs.” She shivered with excitement listening to his soft murmur. His fingers traced her skin along the neckline of her shift, dipping between her breasts so her nipples strained toward him. Vérité whimpered, waiting for him to finally cup her breasts, but he didn’t. Instead, he drew close to her, dipping his head so his lips could follow the tingling path his fingers had left in their wake. His arms encircled her to pull her against his hard body while he pressed his hips into the curve of her thighs. His erect manhood thrust against her lower belly, so she spread her limbs to allow him nearer. Vérité moaned. Her eyes closed and her head fell back as she wrapped her arms around him. She lifted her leg to hook around his, groaning when he ground his pelvis into hers. He cradled her bottom to hold her in place and hissed with pleasure, his breath tickling her sensitive skin. When his tongue snaked out to taste her, she nearly collapsed in his arms. He kissed the curve of each of her breasts as their hips undulated together, her breath harsh with need. Vérité clenched her fingers in his undertunic, dragging him against her. She wanted his lips pressed to her breasts, his mouth open as he sucked her nipples. More. She wanted everything.

42

Seeking Truth

“Yea, my sweet.” Eaduin paused, lifting her into his arms. Her eyes flew open in shock as she clutched at him. Never had anyone carried her anywhere, but her lord carried her to their bed with full intent to make her his. She could see it by the tight expression on his face.

43

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Six Would he go mad before this night ended? Eaduin wanted to bury his aching cock deep inside her sheath. Now. Repeatedly—until finally he spilled his seed inside her. But he couldn’t use her so. His wife was an untried virgin, not a woman well used to having a man between her legs. He climbed the steps up to the mattress of the bed and laid Vérité onto the linen bedding, leaning over her. She reached up to stroke his cheek, her green eyes betraying her mixed fright and arousal. If he went too fast he might destroy her fragile trust, and he would rather be hung up by his ballocks than ruin the joy of discovery he saw lighting her face. To make her initiation pleasure instead of pain he would have to be the master of his body as well as hers so she might experience all the delight he could grant her. Then and only then could he broach her maidenhead. He leaned back to catch his breath. “Eaduin? Do you not want me, then?” She lowered her hand but he caught it, dropping kisses into her palm. “Yea, I want you. Far too much, but I would not hurt you. Allow me to set the pace so we may both find completion.” “If you wish it.” “I do.” Eaduin took up her feet, removing each shoe in turn before gently massaging her feet and pressing kisses to her instep. Her legs twitched and she giggled. Vérité tugged her feet away from him sitting up to tuck her feet under her shift. “Eaduin, why do you kiss my feet?” “There is no part of you I will not explore with my hands and mouth, my sweet.” “Only your hands and mouth?” Her breathless whisper begged for more, and he fully intended to grant it. “Nay, lady. I’ll explore you with all of my body in due course, but for now my hands and mouth will do. Lie down.” She lay down while her wide eyes remained firmly fixed on him. She lifted her arms above her head to grasp the pillow. He licked his lips for she resembled a banquet of femininity for him to feast upon. Her immediate obedience touched a chord deeply within him, but he forced himself to take a deep breath lest he move too quickly. It was almost as if she knew what he wanted from his lover without being told. Please God, let it be so. He gathered her shift into his hand, slowly easing it up her pale limbs. Leaning over on his hands and knees above her, he dropped feathery kisses against her skin. As he slid the garment upward, he gently pushed her knees apart, flicking his tongue against 44

Seeking Truth

her inner thighs. She spread her legs wide, arching her hips upward with a moan, clenching her fists in the linen behind her head. When her shift reached the level of her hips, her hands flew down to stop the movement of the cloth and her face blushed a fiery red. “Do you have to?” “Yea. Move your hands, Vérité.” She bit her lip then placed her hands back above her head, clenching the linen in her fingers. He stared into her eyes as he eased the fabric of her shift over her hips, pausing at her waist. She took a deep breath and nodded. He smiled gently, accepting her nervous permission to look down to the glory of her womanhood. The hair dusting her was a deep rich red like that which adorned her head. Moist pink folds pouted with arousal, allowing him a teasing glimpse of her swollen nub. Never had he wanted to dive into a woman more, but he held back. He would explore in good time. For now let her be naked before him. After, he could explore every inch of her flesh until she begged for release. He pushed her shift over her breasts, revealing the fine tight nipples that had been obscured by the fabric. Eaduin leaned forward to blow on them, enjoying her combined shiver and groan in reaction. So very responsive. It would be a pleasure to play on her flesh akin to a troubadour with his lute. Stroking and plucking her until she sang. And she would sing. He knew it. Already she quivered like a lute string at the ready…his sure touch would turn the vibration to sound. The sound of her moans and whimpers as she cried out for more would be sweet music indeed. His cock strained against his trews, yearning to sink into Vérité’s flesh. He longed to feel her tightness enclose him in its virgin grip, but they had time. All night. So he pulled her shift over her head and threw it over his shoulder, uncaring where it might land. Vérité couldn’t tear her eyes from Eaduin’s. His dark eyes excited yet frightened her, but she rejoiced in having his full attention. It gave her a sense of power to know how intensely he wanted her. Finally she tore her gaze from his, only to find her eyes trapped by the sight of the large bulge in his trews. His undertunic was rucked up near his waist, allowing her to see the outline of his stiff manhood. She blinked, remembering the size and breadth of it when he’d buried it inside Mistress Emma. Vérité could still hear the slap of his flesh against Emma’s as he plowed deeply into the other woman. Would he do the same tonight? Would he bury himself inside her? She tried to close her thighs, only to find Eaduin blocking her path. Crouched between her legs, he reached out to catch them in his large hands, preventing her from hiding her body from him. “Nay, Vérité. I would see you…all of you.” She relaxed her muscles, letting her legs fall apart so he could study her body at his leisure. When he licked his lips, she couldn’t hold back a whimper of anticipation. He’d not even touched her there yet she ached with need. Hunger.

45

Francesca Hawley

“You are beautiful, my lady,” his whispered. “Nay.” “Yea. Do you think I lie?” Vérité lifted her gaze from the protrusion that rose from between his thighs and unfocused her eyes, allowing her gift free rein. “Do you, Eaduin?” “Nay, I speak no falsehood. You are very beautiful, Vérité.” She blinked. He told the truth for the glow surrounding him didn’t dim or flicker in any way. Eaduin Kempe believed her to be beautiful. “Thank you, my lord.” “You are sufficiently convinced?” he asked in disbelief. She nodded. “Are you not a man of your word?” “I am.” “Then I believe you.” Vérité arched her back. “Please, Eaduin. Stroke me. I ache…” He smiled wickedly, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. “Good. Before this night is over, I promise you will cry out for more many, many times.” “Will you not remove your clothing so I may look upon you?” “It will not tempt you to touch me?” “Am I forbidden to learn you?” “Not for always, but for tonight, yea. My control is weak. I want you too much.” “And if I promise not to touch you without your leave?” He leaned over her. “What forfeit will you pay if you do?” Eaduin dropped a kiss on her bare shoulder. She lifted her hands to reach for him. “My lady,” he warned. “But, Eaduin, you are so beautiful.” He chuckled. “Men are not beautiful.” “They may be if they resembled fallen angels.” His brows rose. “Am I fallen angel, then?” “You are as beautiful.” “The only fallen angel I know is Lucifer. Do you see me as the devil?” He lowered his head, lightly running his tongue along her shoulder stopping to nibble at the curve of her neck. “Nay. You’re not evil, though you tempt me sorely.” “Can you wrestle with temptation and win?” “I can but try.” “And if you fail. What forfeit?” “What would you have of me?” “If you touch me without permission, then you will allow me to bind your hands to the bed.”

46

Seeking Truth

“Oh my.” Vérité gasped, closing her eyes as she remembered. The pleasure he’d afforded Mistress Emma when he’d tied her to her bed had left the woman hoarse from screaming…begging. “Vérité?” She opened her eyes to find his face filled with concern. “Yea?” “I didn’t mean to frighten you.” “I wasn’t frightened.” “Weren’t you?” He gave her a considering look, perusing her from head to toe. “Then perhaps we shall play a game of forfeits, shall we?” “And you, Eaduin? If I fight temptation, what is your forfeit to me?” He blinked then smiled. “Do you think you shall succeed?” “You never know, I may win through.” He grinned. “True. What would you have for your forfeit?” “You lie back in our bed while I tempt you in turn.” Eaduin stiffened, his face falling into a fierce frown. “No woman will ever tie me up again.” “I said nothing of binding you. You merely relax at ease while I touch you with my mouth and body.” His face and body relaxed. “I’m sorry I mistook your intentions. I could accept a forfeit such as you suggest.” “But you must not touch me while I learn and pleasure you.” “I will not be bound.” “Then we will find another forfeit for you should you reach for me. ’Tis simple enough, is it not?” He leaned down, pressing a hard kiss to her lips. “It is, but first you must resist temptation. Shall we begin?” “Once you’ve removed your clothes.” Eaduin laughed. “Very well.” He pulled his tunic over his head, drawing a gasp of pure lust from the bottom of her soul. His skin was dark, his shoulders broad and firm, as was his fine chest. Such a chest. Muscled with a light dusting of dark hairs curling upon it leading a path of sin toward his waist and his still hidden manhood. Her gaze followed his muscled arms, abruptly halting to stare when she saw his bruised and scratched forearms. Vérité gasped, leaning forward to examine the angry marks. “Oh Eaduin. What has happened? Did Judith do this?” Eaduin flushed. “Why would you think so?” “Bronwen told me you bore the brunt of Judith’s pain. It would make sense for you to allow her to inflict injury on you to give her ease.”

47

Francesca Hawley

He shrugged sheepishly. “Mayhap.” “Some of your wounds are fresh, I should tend them…” Vérité looked across the room. Seeing her pack set on a low stool near a chair by the fire, she began to rise. “Nay, lady. I am well enough.” He placed his hand on her arm to still her movement. She lightly stroked the damaged flesh. He winced and she felt sympathetic pain. “But you must be in pain…” “Not from my arms, Vérité.” He winked at her. “Now lie back so I may explore your beauty more completely.” She sighed, acknowledging he would not accept aid for his injuries. Not now at least. Vérité smiled and he relaxed. “You have not done, Eaduin. Remove the rest of your clothes. Please.” Her gaze returned to his firm chest, with a sigh. He reached for his boots, pulling them off and setting them on one of the steps leading down to the floor. She watched him breathlessly, enjoying the way his muscles moved under his skin. All the most female parts of her body throbbed with need as she watched him move. When he untied the lacing of his trews to ease them downward, his fiercely erect member sprang from the fabric. Vérité jumped in surprise though unable to tear her eyes from the sight of him. She was not ignorant of the male form for she had often tended men struck down with illness and injury, but never had she seen a man’s member as firm and fierce as Eaduin’s. He was more formidable now than he’d been in his younger years and more pleasing to her eyes because the thick length of him rose from its nest of dark hair for her and no other. Such a work of art he was, deep rose in color, half again the length of her small hand from fingertip to wrist and thick enough to impress even the most experienced female. His manhood thrust upward along his abdomen, demanding her attention. Eaduin wrapped his fist around the shaft to stroke from root to tip, urging some nearly colorless moisture out to coat the head. She moaned with excitement as he rubbed the reddish crest of his erection. “This is my cock.” “Your what?” she laughed. “He looks nothing like a bird.” Eaduin grinned. “Does he not? Can you not see his forceful head cawing?” He stroked the head then reached downward. “His body arching as he crows of his pleasure?” Eaduin stroked the shaft. “Before the night is through I’ll bury him deep inside your body to release my seed inside you,” he growled. “Perhaps he does resemble a cock.” Vérité stared at him, trembling. “If your manhood is called a cock, what is my womanhood called?” “Your womanhood?” “Surely it has a name.”

48

Seeking Truth

“Beatrix?” “Eaduin, don’t be foolish. You have a cock and I have…?” “A cony, my lady.” She looked between her legs but shook her head. “I look nothing like a rabbit. Try again, my lord.” He chuckled. “A cunt.” “A cunt?” “Yea.” “A cock and a cunt.” “Yes, and I have every intent to introduce my cock to your cunt before much longer. Do you approve?” “Oh yea. Wholeheartedly.” “Excellent. My cock is easy to see, but I wish to more fully explore your cunt. I wish to see all of you.” “You want to see me?” Her squeak brought a flush of embarrassment flooding her face in a wave of warmth. “Yea, you. You have seen me, now I shall explore you. Remember your forfeit, lady wife.” “I will, Eaduin.” She clutched at the fabric behind her head, expecting him to reach immediately between her legs, but instead he crawled off to one side, moving toward her torso. As she started to close her legs, he caught one in his hand. “Nay, Vérité, leave your limbs parted, your knees bent so you are open to my sight.” Vérité shivered but nodded and obeyed him, excited by his deep growl of command. How strange this was. When Sister Berthe gave her orders, Vérité rebelled, often forcefully, but she wished to please Eaduin. Perhaps she obeyed him because she knew obedience meant great pleasure for them both. Her thoughts scattered when he settled on his knees to her left by her waist. He bent forward, his palms settling warmly at her waist, while he pressed his soft lips to her neck. She lifted her chin to offer him more of her sensitive flesh. His breath tickled her neck, her ears and her face as he pressed kisses against her. His mouth took hers, teasing as he repeatedly lifted his head so she followed his mouth with hers. “Eaduin, you don’t play fairly with me.” He stared into her eyes, chuckling. “I never promised to be fair, lady.” She pouted and he laughed, capturing her mouth with his, sliding his tongue inside her mouth before drawing back. Her eyes slowly opened again. “I shall remember in future to force clarity from you, my lord.” “You may certainly try.” 49

Francesca Hawley

He nipped at her lips so she opened, gasping as his tongue dipped inside, tangling with hers. He leaned back, easing to his side to recline beside her while he perused her body as his field of play. A smile of satisfaction touched his lips as he traced his fingers lightly over her shoulders, edging downward to the rise of her breasts. She arched longingly toward him only to have his hand retreat. “Patience, Vérité.” “How can I have patience when you torment me so?” He pressed an open-mouthed kiss against her collar bone, gently tugging at the skin with his teeth. “Because you will be well rewarded. Very well rewarded.” “Eaduin!” She moaned, lifting her hips. Her cunt throbbed painfully, longing for something, she knew not what. “Patience is its own reward.” His fingers traced the rise of one breast, circling upward toward her straining nipple only to switch to her other breast before reaching it in order to visit upon her other breast similar frustration. “I don’t want fancy phrases!” She shifted under his touch, trying to slide his fingers to where she most wished to feel his touch. “Pleasure denied is pleasure doubled.” His warm chuckle nearly undid her. She surged upward, reaching for him. “Oh…you…” She paused before she touched him as he raised his brows, merely waiting. Vérité flopped backward, once more grasping the bedding. “You’ll not have my defeat so easily.” “I’m pleased. Though I must admit, I win this game of forfeits no matter the outcome.” “Perhaps you are reminiscent of Lucifer after all,” she sighed, waiting for him to resume his play. “Perhaps I am,” he said softly. Vérité paused at his words, turning to him. His gaze was fixed on her body, but she sensed within him a hidden hurt that she’d not intended to inflict. “Eaduin.” “Yea.” “Look at me.” His gaze met hers. “In no way are you the devil. Do you hear me?” He shrugged, his expression seemingly carefree, but she could see the glow around him dimmed for her unkind words. “I enjoy inflicting pain.” “There is pain and there is pain. What pain you inflict, if you do, is a pleasure so intense it is nearly indistinguishable from pain. It is different from true pain.” “Is it?” “I will touch you now, but it is not part of our game.” “Is it not?”

50

Seeking Truth

“No.” She reached up to stroke his face tenderly, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. “Forgive my thoughtless words which wounded you. You frustrate me, but on no account do I believe you evil. Do we understand one another?” He smiled—a genuine smile again. “We do. Your hands, lady. Lower them.” “As you wish.” Vérité lay back to clutch her pillow and await his next gambit.

51

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Seven His next gambit was not long in coming. Eaduin picked up a strand of her hair, lifting it to his nose to inhale the lingering fragrance before dangling it over her. Slowly he lowered the strand to trail it against the skin of her breasts before teasing her aching nipples with the ends. Vérité jerked each time hair met skin, moaning helplessly. So attuned to him, she could almost anticipate each tantalizing move he made, she gasped as the light strokes tormented the painfully tumid points. Try though she might, she couldn’t prevent her hips from rising off the bed in a restless search for relief. “Lovely,” he whispered. He blew against the nipple nearest him while he tortured it with her hair. Vérité threw her head back and forth, her hips jerking and her body thrashing. “Eaduin…please…” “I will please you. In due course.” His finger stroked down her belly, which was damp with perspiration. “You glow with need.” He dragged his finger back upward, running it over her breast. She expected him to stop before reaching the straining center as he had before, but this time he followed the edge of her areola before flicking lightly against the taut peak. He took it between thumb and forefinger, plucking her until she was mindless with need, crying out to him yet unable to speak a word of sense. His mouth engulfed her other nipple, sucking it strongly while he continued to pluck the first nipple. Vérité moaned as heat flashed over her body and she spasmed with a pleasure she’d never experienced before. She opened her eyes, continuing to shudder as Eaduin lifted his head from the throbbing point. His mouth curved in a pleased smile as he observed the tremors still shaking her body. “Yea, lady wife. As sensitive as a tightly wound lute string, ripe for the plucking.” He pressed a kiss to her mouth. “I like you this way.” “Have we done?” He chuckled. “Done? Nay. We’ve barely begun. I have so much more of you to explore.” “To torment, rather.” “If you would have it so. Was it so terrible?” Vérité frowned, not wishing to admit how much she enjoyed his control of her pleasure. “Was it?” “Nay, Eaduin.” “Good. You are damp with excitement.” “Sweaty, you mean.”

52

Seeking Truth

“Yea, your skin is dewy, but I meant something else.” He lifted the leg nearest him and ducked under it so again he was placed between her splayed thighs. “I mean here, my lady.” He gestured toward the distended pink folds of her sex. “See how moist you are here?” She lifted her head to look. Her body gleamed in the firelight, slick and swollen with need. Vérité whimpered, knowing Eaduin had just begun to taunt her hungry flesh. “What will you do?” “Explore.” He palmed her breast, tugging on the aching nipple. “Investigate.” Fingertips trailed over her stomach, teasing her. “Experiment.” He stroked fingertips along her inner thighs. “Discover.” He lowered his head and bit her nipple, sucking gently before releasing it. Her hips rocked with each word he spoke as if begging for him to begin with or without their owner’s consent. She gasped as he reached for her. “I beg you, have pity.” “Would you have me stop?” “Nay. God in Heaven, I know not what I want or need.” “Then let me show you.” He reached for her womanhood with the forefinger of each of his hands, tracing along the inside of the folds, parting them slightly. “Like the petals of a flower. Delicate and soft, sweet with scent.” Eaduin breathed deeply, blowing against her flesh. He sighed when she whimpered. “As a flower touched by bees, you flood with nectar to entice and entreat me to make you flow with yet more honey.” Vérité cried out when his fingers continued their skillful testing of her flesh. He gently pulled her outer folds apart to reveal her delicate inner flesh. “As sweet as a pomegranate and as rich and red. What manner of man would I be to leave such sweet fruit untasted?” “Eaduin. Oh please?” He chuckled as he lowered his head. “Please stop, or please don’t stop?” Vérité met his gaze. “I don’t know.” “Then let me taste, so you’ll learn which answer it is.” He spread her with his fingers and she sobbed as his tongue snaked out to taste her. With the first stroke of his tongue against her flesh, she groaned then tried to slide her hips away from him. It was too much. Pleasure. Pain. Vérité didn’t know what it was, yet she mewled, jerking her hips to and fro in an effort to escape the sensations he imparted. Try though she might, escape was impossible for he grasped her hips, holding her fast. He sucked the nubbin into his mouth while teasing it with his tongue. She whipped her head back and forth, crying with excitement. “Yea. Eaduin. Oh please, more!” He nipped her flesh with his teeth, tugging gently then sucking once more. Pulling back to flick his tongue rapidly like the flutter of a butterfly’s wings. Vérité spread her

53

Francesca Hawley

legs wide, lifting her hips to his mouth as an offering. She gasped when his one of his fingertips slid into her body. It hurt yet it pleased. “Accept my fingers in your passage, my sweet. So wet. How your honey flows for me…” Eaduin’s growled as he slid the tip of his finger in and out of her body. He lowered his mouth again, sucking on her. “Eaduin. Oh my lord. Please…” He leaned back. “Please stop?” “Nay! Oh please don’t stop! Never stop!” “So we found your answer. It is well, then.” Her body tightened as he repeatedly sucked on her, stroking the nub with his tongue. First fast then slowly. With the tip of his tongue then the flat. Vérité rocked her hips, moving with him as he penetrated her with a single finger. She jerked with a cry, as though something had torn inside her. It hurt. “What have you done?” “I’ve broken your maidenhead with my finger.” “But aren’t you supposed to do that with your…your cock?” “Good, you remembered his name. Breaking your maidenhead with my finger rather than my cock doesn’t change the fact you are no longer a virgin, lady wife. And now… Now I may slide into your body without fear of causing you undue hurt.” “It won’t hurt?” “Oh it may. It probably will. But I hope the pain will be less than it might have been before. Lie back and enjoy. Come for me.” “Come where?” “To Heaven, perchance?” He dipped his head and covered her with his mouth—sucking, nipping and licking until she’d forgotten her maidenhead or lack of it in favor of her rising fever of lust. She rocked her hips as the muscles tightened, gasping when she felt his finger invade her body once more. He eased a second and finally a third finger into her newly breached passage, spreading his fingers apart then plunging them deeply into her to stretch her sheath. Vérité threw back her head, thrusting her hips forward, shuddering helplessly in the throes of yet more convulsive spasms. “More. Eaduin, please.” “Yea, more, my sweet. Much more.” He rose above her, taking his cock in hand, he led it to her waiting wetness. He slowly eased into her, pausing as the head slipped inside to wait for her body to grow accustomed to his presence. “Is this painful?” “Nay. Take me more deeply. Please.” Vérité stared at the place where their bodies met as Eaduin slowly slid the length of his shaft inside her. He fondled her, his thumb strumming against the core of her until

54

Seeking Truth

she cried out, arching her hips to accept him seated in her to the hilt. When the hair at the base of his shaft met hers, she gasped, lifting her eyes to rest on her Eaduin’s face. His face, shoulders and chest was flushed with the pinkness of fever. “Are you unwell, my lord?” “Nay. I couldn’t be more well had God himself touched me.” He threw back his head and groaned as she shifted her hips under him. “Wait but a moment, Vérité, lest I unman myself before you.” “How could you?” “I would not shoot my seed into you until we are both ready for it.” “I’m ready. God in Heaven knows how ready I am!” He chuckled. “Nay. You only think you’re ready. I will show you more, but let me breathe for a time to regain my senses.” “Perhaps I enjoy it when your wits go abegging.” He laughed again, pressing her hips to the bed with his hands. He dipped his head, taking deep breaths. “Yea. Better. When I entered you, your untried passage clasped me and attempted to pull me inside, root and branch.” “I don’t understand.” “I know. The spasms that take you at the peak of your pleasure are not only outside but inside too.” Vérité looked down to where he was buried in her body. “Inside?” “Yea. No man could wish for more, yet a woman’s pleasure can steal his control if he lets it.” “Is that bad?” “Only if he wants to give her more pleasure before they both finish, and believe me, Vérité, I want you to know more pleasure from me this night.” “I want it too, Eaduin.” He smiled. “Good, then let us proceed.” He leaned over her, taking her in his arms, teasing her nipples with the hair on his chest. Eaduin kissed her breasts, neck and chin. Finally he took her mouth with his. Vérité kissed him back, learning from his actions. She thrust her tongue against his, dueling with him. Teasing him with her tongue. She reached for him only to pause before she touched his shoulders. He lifted his head, looking down into her eyes, his brows raised in query. “May I touch you, Eaduin? Please?” He smiled. “Yea, Vérité. Touch me. Hold me as we find our end together.” “Thank you.” She sighed, wrapping one arm around his waist to grasp his firm buttocks while the other snaked around his neck to pull him close. “Lift your legs and encircle my waist with your limbs.” Eaduin caught her bottom in his hands as she lifted her legs, adjusting the angle of her hips so his cock edged even deeper into her, filling her. She winced slightly as she 55

Francesca Hawley

adjusted to the fullness she felt, but she had no wish for him to stop. Her legs tightened against his, holding him close. “And now we ride.” “Ride?” “Yea, roll your hips as you do when on horseback and we will both be well served.” Slowly he withdrew from her only to surge forward again. She moaned—her eyes wide with shock as his body rocked against hers. With each thrust, she grew more familiar with the movements. His hands cradling her bottom taught her how to accommodate him to increase the pleasure for them both. She arched under him, rolling her hips as he thrust into her. First slowly then building speed until he fairly flew like a hawk on the hunt. Vérité clutched at him, trying to catch her breath, but being completely unable to do so and finally not caring if she ever caught her breath again. As long as Eaduin surged into her body she could be breathless and happily. His head descended and his mouth took hers, his tongue mimicking the thrust of his cock in and out of her cunt. Vérité clutched at his shoulders, her legs tightening to hold him in place as he rode her. She moaned as her body tightened painfully, drawing up with a need for release more intense than those she’d previously experienced. She pressed hot kisses to Eaduin’s neck and face as he took her. She blinked when a drop of sweat from his brow fell onto her cheek. “Yea, lady. You are so tight my cock is apt to fall off before we come.” He threw back his head, the muscles in his throat tight. Unable to control the impulse, Vérité licked his throat, enjoying the spicy taste of his flesh. He lowered his head to suck on her nipple, drawing a whimper from her. He nipped at her flesh, and she clawed at his shoulders. “Oh God in Heaven. Eaduin!” She thrust upward, shattering into pieces with a shriek as he continued to drive into her clasping sheath. “Yea. Now feel my seed in you, Vérité.” He shuddered and thrust hard into her, hips jerking as he roared. Vérité moaned when his seed shot into her body. She lifted her hips, open and ready to accept whatever he could deposit, quivering from head to foot. Her body throbbed helplessly as paroxysms overtook her. She threw back her head, closing her eyes with a cry of surrender. Finally Eaduin collapsed upon her, burying his head in the curve of her neck. He shook with the last remnants of his pleasure, his cock giving little spurts of final effort inside her. His hand curled around her breast as he pressed soft kisses against the damp skin of her neck. At first his breath heaved in and out of him similar to a bellows then slowly his breathing became more regular. Vérité opened her eyes to look down at him. His eyes were closed. Did he sleep? Perhaps. “No wonder Mistress Emma used to scream herself hoarse. You know how to wring pleasure from a woman’s body in amazing ways,” she whispered. 56

Seeking Truth

His eyes blinked open immediately and he captured her hands, holding them to the bed on either side of her head. “What did you say?” Vérité gasped. Fie on her flapping tongue. “Nothing.” Her body flushed red with the lie. “Nothing? What do you know of Mistress Emma? Perhaps you are not so innocent as you seem?” “Ha!” Vérité tried to pry her hands from his with no luck. “You took my maidenhead yourself.” “A woman has other ways to give pleasure to a man.” Her brow drew into a frown as she tried to comprehend his meaning. “Other ways?” “Your mouth perchance?” “My mouth?” Vérité shivered as she imagined trying to fit Eaduin’s large…cock in her mouth. Somehow, the thought pleased her as much as it unnerved her, causing her nipples to tighten with desire. “Mayhap your bum?” “You think I…” As the image of him sliding into her bottom crept through her mind, she shook at the excitement that flooded her body. She was depraved. Surely such feelings were sin! They had to be. Eaduin must not know how much she wished to feel such things lest he become disgusted with her. Better to show him anger rather than lust, so she scowled up at him, hoping she wouldn’t flush with her lie, or he might misread the blush for anger. Fighting to move him, she pushed on his hands to no avail. “Oh. Get off! Off me now, I say!” “Nay lady. What did you mean before? How did you know Emma?” “She was my friend many years ago. I’ve not seen her since I was ten and seven. I don’t know if she even remains in the area.” Eaduin growled. “Mayhap. Explain yourself.” “I spoke before I thought.” “No doubt. Explain your meaning.” Vérité dropped her head against the pillow with a sigh. “Very well. When I was younger, I rebelled against my life in the abbey.” “So you went to men?” “No. How could you think it? No, I snuck out at night so I could run free before Matins.” He leaned back, his expression concerned. “But there are bandits in the area. You might have been raped or killed. What kind of poor supervision do they have there?” “Don’t blame Mother Anne. I climbed over the wall. I hated my life. Even death might have been preferable just then.” 57

Francesca Hawley

“Surely not.” “You live cloistered and tell me how much joy you find in it!” He sighed. “I bow to your argument. Still, the danger…” “It was mine to take. Emma lived close by the abbey and I found her one night when she was alone. She…was a kind woman.” Vérité couldn’t very well tell Eaduin she knew the woman posed no threat by the glow of her spirit. He wouldn’t understand. Few did. “She was. I’ll not deny it. But you lived in a holy house. How could you visit with a…” he bit his lip searching for words, “with…so worldly a woman?” “Emma knew things. And she didn’t find my questions foolish or demonic. She answered as best as she was able.” Eaduin sighed. “She told you of me?” “Well…yes.” Again her lie betrayed her as she flushed an unbecoming red. “Or perhaps not. Vérité, how do you know I made Emma scream?” Vérité looked away. He released her hands and caught her chin in his hand. “Vérité…” “Oh fie.” Vérité groaned. “I used to watch.” His face filled with shock, his eyes widening, then he smiled, intrigued. “You…watched? What did you watch?” “You with her. I didn’t know who you were. That you were Lord Kempe, I mean.” He nodded understanding. “What did you see?” “You tied her to the bed then you teased and tormented her, as you did me tonight. I think you used a feather rather than her hair. I watched for hours, only as the bells rang for Matins did I realize how long I’d watched. I was late to prayer.” “Late? How did you explain?” “I tried to avoid explaining. I don’t lie well.” “So I’ve noticed.” He chuckled, tracing her brow with his finger and dropping a kiss on her lips. “You watched us the one night.” Vérité bit her lip. “You watched more than once?” “Yea,” she whispered. “Many times. Once I nearly asked you to take me. Emma was snoring in her bed and you left whistling just before Lauds. I was afire with need and didn’t know how to find my own pleasure.” “Heavens above,” he breathed, a smile stealing over his lips. “You could have touched yourself the way I touched Emma.” “But it is sin, isn’t it?” “So the Church would say. Did you confess about your nighttime trips?” “Only after Mother Anne caught me coming home one night. From then on, I remained in the abbey. I didn’t want her to be replaced by Sister Berthe through lack of diligence over my soul.” “Did she tell you such might happen?” 58

Seeking Truth

“No, Judith did.” “Ah. Judith knows all. Did she know it was me you watched?” “Yea. She never named you, but I described you to her so Judith knew.” He threw back his head with a laugh. “God knows I love her. She knew even then we were destined to one another. I would wager on it.” “Do you think so?” “I do.” He eased his weight off of her. “Forgive me for crushing you under me.” “No forgiveness is necessary. I’m partial to the feel of your body pressed to mine.” “As am I.” Vérité stroked his face, seeing a shadow of uncertainty pass through his eyes and darkness slipped into his aura. “You need feel no jealousy, Eaduin. I want no other.” “Nor do I.” His face was surprisingly tender as he looked down at her, the glow of his spirit lightening with his mood. Eaduin lowered his head to kiss her when someone pounded loudly on the door. Vérité shrieked, grasping his firm shoulder, her gaze flying to the door, fearful someone might enter. “Be at ease, Vérité. They will not enter without leave.” He kissed her brow, looking around with a frown. “Where are my trews?” Vérité relaxed and with a giggle, pointed. They hung from one of the cabinet pulls built into the foot of the bed. He chuckled, standing on the mattress to take them down. He stepped into them and tugged them up his muscled legs and over his narrow hips. He stepped down from the bed to cross the cold stone floor, pausing to adjust the lacings so his manhood was well covered. Again someone pounded upon the door. “Just a damn moment!” Eaduin bellowed, scowling at the inoffensive wood. “Eaduin. You need not swear.” He glanced up at her, his face flushing. “Forgive me. I’ve forgotten how to behave with a gentle woman present.” “Judith is a gentle woman. Do you swear around her?” He smiled. “To my shame, yea. She is well used to my errant ways and now responds with little more than a sigh and rolled eyes. You’d best pull the curtains of the bed closed while I answer.” “Judith…” What if they needed her for Judith? Eaduin’s expression grew grave as her heard her comment. He waved her back when she reached for her shift, which lay on the stairs beside the bed, so Vérité tugged the curtains closed but slipped her head out to watch and listen.

59

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Eight Eaduin took a deep breath as he approached the door, praying desperately Judith wasn’t calling for them because her pain had returned. He opened the door, raising his brows at the terrified servant lad standing before him. The boy bowed so low as to almost fall on the floor. “Get up, lad. What news causes you to interrupt my first night with my bride? Is Mistress Judith in need?” “Nay, my lord. Word has been sent from the heath.” “The heath?” Vérité called. The boy’s eyes darted to where Eaduin’s wife poked her head from the bed curtains. Eaduin moved into the lad’s line of sight, making him blush and turn his curious eyes back to his lord. “Kempe Heath, my lady. ’Tis the village in the outer bailey of the castle,” the boy answered while scrupulously staring at Eaduin’s chest. Eaduin gave her a look that encouraged her to be quiet. Her response was a grin and a shrug. Obedience was to be confined to his bed, it would seem. He held back an answering smile as he turned back to the servant. “What word comes?” “Twenty-some men and a young lady wait at the outer gates. The lady claims to be your daughter Lady Isolda.” “Isolda? What the devil is she doing here? She should be safe in her bed at de Montfort Castle!” “I know not, my lord.” “Has anyone verified the claim?” “I was sent to you while another went to find Sir Godwin.” Eaduin smiled. “You lost the toss, did you?” The boy grinned sheepishly. “Aye, my lord.” “Run along with you, then. I’ll dress and meet them in the great hall should Godwin determine Isolda is truly at our gates.” “Thank you, my lord. I’ll take word to the great hall.” Eaduin nodded and closed the door as the lad ran down the hallway toward the stairs that led to the great hall. Eaduin leaned lazily against the door, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at Vérité. He waited, hiding a smile when she colored. “He saw nothing.”

60

Seeking Truth

“No, yet he might have. I understood you were concerned someone might enter without leave.” Vérité shrugged again. “I was curious.” “Curiosity can be lethal, my lady.” “Only to cats.” He laughed, crossing the room and picking up their clothes. “Come let us dress.” “Us?” “Yea, my lady wife. It is time for you to meet your daughter.” Vérité shook her head. “I don’t believe it is me whom she wishes to see, Eaduin.” “Perhaps not, but you are here. Do you object to her presence?” “Heavens above, never think it. Nay! She is your child and this is her home. However, I think she will be most surprised to see me here unless you sent word of our marriage.” Eaduin frowned as he tossed Vérité her shift. She caught it and pulled it over her head, looking for her underdress. He tossed the golden garment and her green kirtle up to her while he hunted for his undertunic. He found it lying on the floor near the head of the bed, though how it flew there he couldn’t fathom. “I sent her no word,” he admitted. “Eaduin…” He met her eyes reluctantly, his face warm with discomfort at her frown. “What else have you not told her?” He growled at the scolding tone. “I’ve not told her about Judith.” “She will be shocked at Judith’s state and possibly further upset by my presence. Mayhap I should remain here in our rooms.” “Nay. My daughter is an intelligent and kind girl. Despite this shock, she will be as pleased to see you as were my half-siblings, Judith’s children.” “No doubt.” Her dry tone argued otherwise, but she set to dressing. They dressed in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. When Vérité reached for her wimple, Eaduin balked. “Nay, Vérité.” She blinked. “Nay, what?” “No wimple.” She touched her long hair tentatively. “My lord, it needs brushing.” Eaduin found his own carved wood comb and handed it to her. “Comb it, but leave it visible. It is beautiful.” “It is unseemly.” “Wear the veil and circlet if you must, but leave your hair where I may admire it.” She grumbled but obeyed, shooting him irritated glances as she combed through the long tresses. Vérité quickly braided the glorious length before searching for lacing to

61

Francesca Hawley

tie it. Eaduin found a leather thong and approached. He took the end of her single braid to tie the lace around it so it would remain in place. He lifted her hair to his nose. “It still smells of lavender, but now it smells of me and our lovemaking too.” She looked over her shoulder at him and her face softened, a rosy blush rising in her cheeks. Eaduin leaned forward to press a gentle kiss on her lips. “Are you back in charity with me, Vérité?” She smiled. “I am, though I think you may be dismayed by the upcoming events.” “I pray not.” Eaduin escorted his new wife through the castle and down the stairs into the great hall where a group of unfamiliar men milled about uncomfortably. Godwin faced them, brushing his blond hair off his face. His tunic hung loose over his trews and his feet were stuffed into slippers. He too had been pulled from his bed—likely shared with one of the servant girls. He held his long dagger loosely but quite competently as he assessed the situation. From the midst of the mob, a small figure burst forth and threw herself against Godwin. He held her awkwardly so he wouldn’t wound her with the blade. “Uncle! Praise God. What is wrong? I know something has happened. I just know it. Please tell me.” Isolda pressed herself against Godwin, grasping his tunic as she stared up into his face. “Oh my, she’s lovely, Eaduin. She has your fine features,” Vérité breathed into his ear. Eaduin smiled with pride. His little one was indeed quite the most beautiful female he’d ever seen. Painfully so, but he’d made sure he raised her with the understanding a fine appearance is a gift of God but confers no special blessing. Kindness and goodness are their own reward. “Thank you, Vérité,” he whispered back, pressing a kiss to her forehead. She smiled up at him. “Papa? Is that you? Oh Papa. What has happened?” Isolda pulled away from Godwin. Eaduin glanced at Vérité, worried she might feel abandoned, but she nodded encouragement. He ran lightly down the stairs to his daughter who threw herself into his arms. He enfolded her close, pressing a kiss to the top of her dark head. “Isolda. It pleases me to see you, but, child, why do you come here so late? Should you not be in your own bed?” “My very question.” Eaduin stiffened at the dry comment, lifting his eyes to meet the olive green eyes of his squire brother and former best friend Lord Alexander de Montfort who stood at the base of the stairs. Alec seemed at ease, but his hand rested on his weapon. Beside him Sir Theodric Ironhand stood equally prepared for battle should it be necessary. Eaduin sighed. He should have known. Where one of his former friends went, so did the other because Theo was in service to Alec as his captain of the guard.

62

Seeking Truth

“Then why did you allow her to make this trip. Nay, accompany her on it, Alec?” “It was my decision, as I am her husband, my lord.” A young voice spoke, cracking twice, betraying the youth of his daughter’s husband. Crispin de Montfort, Alec’s son, stepped forward with his chin lifted belligerently. Eaduin wanted to bellow. This was the perfect end to a perfect day. He looked from Crispin to Alec to Theo. Yea, truly God sought to punish him. He gave Eaduin a glimpse of paradise in bed only to take it away in the great hall. God’s blood. “It was your decision to travel with a mere twenty men to protect her?” “We are a formidable army, Eaduin,” Theo drawled. Eaduin glared him, stiffening at the lack of respect in his address. Isolda pounded on his chest, drawing his attention. “I am not a child anymore, Papa. What is wrong?” Eaduin bit his lip and gently stroked his daughter’s shining black hair while he stared into her moist dark eyes. “It is Judith.” Her eyes widened, filling with tears. “I knew it! I was right, then? What has happened?” “Judith is unwell.” “How unwell? Will she die?” Eaduin would rather be set afire than tell his beloved child such dire news, but lying to her would serve no purpose. “Eventually. She suffers great pain.” “I must go to her!” Isolda tried to pull out of his arms to run for the stairs but he caught her close. “No, child. She sleeps…finally. Let her rest.” “But how can she sleep if she suffers pain?” Eaduin glanced up at Vérité, waving her down the steps. She came forward reluctantly, stopping at his side. “We have a new healer at the castle.” “You introduce me to your leman?” Isolda’s face twisted bitterly as she scowled at Vérité. “Nay, I do not,” he barked, shocked at his daughter’s insolence and contempt. “I introduce you to my lady wife Vérité.” “Wife?” Isolda swayed, her face going pale as her dark eyes widened with hurt. “When did you marry and why did you not tell me?” “We married today, child, which is why I didn’t tell you. I had no time to inform you of my decision.” Isolda looked from Vérité to him in confusion. “I don’t understand.” “I was needed here, so Judith sent your father for me at the abbey,” Vérité’s voice was gentle and kind. Eaduin looked down at his wife, smiling slightly. “How long have you been here?” Isolda’s voice still held a tone of petulance. “I arrived today, my lady.”

63

Francesca Hawley

Isolda glared at Vérité, her hands clenched at her side. Eaduin was dismayed at this side of his daughter. Her behavior reminded him painfully of Annys and he would not have it. He was lord here, not a spoiled girl child, however much he might love her. “So, Daughter, greet my lady wife and your new mother.” Vérité groaned softly at his side as Isolda’s dark eyes flew to his. “Mother?” Eaduin winced at the near shriek. “Yea.” “My mother is dead. Apparently my papa is too.” He tensed as he stared into eyes so similar to his own, pain filling his chest as though he’d been stabbed. “Do you deny your father, then, Daughter?” “Nay, Father. You are indeed my sire but perhaps no longer my papa. Where may we sleep until we may visit with Judith?” “I will arrange for rooms for you and your husband, my lady.” Vérité beckoned to the waiting servants, but Eaduin caught her arm and held her fast at his side. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her send a querying glance up at him while he remained in a stare down with his daughter. “Greet my lady wife properly, Isolda.” Her chin tightened, eyes flaring mulishly. “I am tired.” “Tired or not, you will observe the proprieties and greet the lady of this castle. Whether you acknowledge her as mother is between you, but she is my lady wife and will be treated with respect by everyone who shelters under my roof. Is that quite clear? If you feel unable to behave in the manner of a civilized lady, then perhaps you might find respite at the abbey.” Vérité gasped, grabbing his upper arm to lean close and whisper in his ear, “Eaduin, no.” He gave her one look, which silenced her protest. “Sleep in the abbey? You would treat your own daughter as a stranger?” Isolda whispered, tears slipping onto her cheeks. He hated seeing her tears, but he would not allow her to behave in the willful way her aunt used to. “If I must, but it depends upon you and how you choose to conduct yourself in my home, Isolda. Treat my lady with respect or sleep elsewhere.” Isolda stared at him, tears falling, but Eaduin remained steadfast though he wanted to pull his daughter into his arms to comfort her. “Tears will not serve, Daughter. Greet Lady Vérité.” Isolda wiped away her tears, her angry eyes fastening on his dismayed lady. “Congratulations on your pleasing new circumstances, my lady.” Isolda let her gaze travel over the fine furnishings of the great hall. “May you be very happy together.” Eaduin’s hand clenched with rage at Isolda’s deliberate taunt. Vérité tugged on his upper arm where she still clutched it in order to still him. She lifted her chin. “I thank you for your very kind and most gracious words, Lady Isolda. I am sure your father and I shall indeed be very happy together. Thank you.”

64

Seeking Truth

He couldn’t hold back a grin at his lady’s riposte. Isolda stomped once, turning to look down at her husband. Crispin raced to her side, taking her hand. He dropped a kiss onto it as she leaned into him for comfort. Eaduin’s anger eased as he saw the burgeoning affection between his daughter and her husband. He’d been fearful when he’d given her in marriage six months ago, but it seemed she had made a place for herself in her new family. “Thank you, Isolda. I’m sure your old rooms can be made ready for you and young Crispin.” He assessed the men-at-arms, their numbers were formidable but he had more than enough men to counter them if necessary. “We can make up pallets for your men, Alec. The only other free room above stairs is the one usually given to the traveling clergy. I hope it will serve well enough for you and Theo.” “Thank you, Eaduin. It will be most well.” Alec mounted the stairs. Theo followed, his hand on his weapon, blue eyes alert and cautious. Theo trusted no one since the unpleasant ending to his relationship with Annys so long ago. Servants arrived to make up pallets for the men-at-arms while Godwin mounted the stairs. “I’ll take them to their rooms, my lord.” Eaduin exchanged a glance of warning with his brother. Godwin nodded, affording Eaduin reassurance he would see Alec’s men were watched…subtly, so as not to cause alarm. “Thank you.” Godwin winked. “You should return to your bed, Brother. After all, it is your wedding eve.” He sounded entirely too amused for Eaduin’s liking, but such was his nature. Lightness to Eaduin’s dark. “Thank you Godwin for your most excellent reminder. Come, lady. Let us to bed.” Vérité blushed and looked at the floor so Eaduin took her hand, kissing it in reassurance, drawing a reluctant smile from his bride. Isolda humphed, turning abruptly to mount the stairs as she was reminded of his marriage. Crispin was left flat-footed by her departure, so he raced up the stairs after her. His son-in-law needed instruction in handling Isolda, for she would never respect her husband if he always deferred to her whims and tantrums. Vérité stared after Isolda, her lips pursed and her color high. Her lips were turned down and she blinked away tears. It seemed a strange combination of sadness and anger. Anger at Isolda, he wondered? Eaduin took her hand, tucking it into his arm to lead her away. She followed silently but her posture was stiff. No, it was him with whom his lady was displeased. When they reached their chamber, he opened the door, ushering her through. She pulled away from him, flouncing inside. Stalking across the bedroom, she began to pace. Eaduin followed her into their solar and waited for the shouting to begin.

65

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Nine “What were you thinking, Eaduin?” Vérité yelled, wanting to throw things at him. “When? Precisely…” “Oh… You know perfectly well when! When you ordered your daughter to call me her mother. How could you have been so incredibly foolish?” “I will not tolerate my child imitating Annys’ tantrums, which disrupted this entire castle. Annys would shriek and throw things. Nay. Not my daughter too.” “Not once did Isolda throw anything, though I must admit I was tempted to do so.” “I offer you my support, my lady. If I allow one person in my demesnes to offer you insult, others will follow.” Vérité sighed, knowing he spoke the truth. It was the nature of people to behave poorly when given permission. “I know. But she was in shock. Frightened. Confused. Ordering her to welcome me as her mother aided nothing.” “I relented, did I not?” “So you did.” Vérité looked around the room, noticing a large chair beside the fire. She flopped down in it with a sigh. “She hates me now, Eaduin.” He moved to her side. He set her bag of medicines onto the floor and sat on the low stool by her knees. He placed his hand in her lap, and she took it in hers. “She hates me too, Vérité.” Vérité looked at him as he stared into the fire. His face was tight with pain at his daughter’s anger with him. “Oh, I’m sorry.” She leaned forward, wrapping her arms around him to hold him close, brushing her fingers through his hair. “Isolda doesn’t hate you, Eaduin.” “She called me father.” “Are you not her father?” “She used the same tone I used to use when I addressed my father Osweald. I hated him.” “Isolda knew what would most wound you.” “She wished to hurt me?” “Because she was hurt, not because her spirit resembles Annys’. When she returned here, she expected everything to be exactly as she left it, but it wasn’t. Change is frightening and painful.” She lifted his chin, looking into his dark anguished eyes. Vérité leaned forward to kiss him, caressing his rough cheek in comfort. Life was so unfair. Eaduin didn’t need more torment. Not after what he had endured watching Judith’s pain, powerless to 66

Seeking Truth

alleviate her suffering. His sister Bronwen had been most forthcoming as the two women mended tunics while Judith and Eaduin both slept. Bronwen had told her Eaduin remained at Judith’s side, gave up sleep so others might rest, and been Judith’s whipping boy in her pain. It wasn’t until she saw his bare arms, she understood Bronwen’s comment. During her bouts of pain, Judith must have grasped his forearms to endure while Eaduin willingly accepted the injury. His sacrifices in these last weeks awed Vérité and she could not imagine how blessed it was to be loved by such a man. She didn’t believe she would ever gain his love. But his concern? Yea, she may earn his care. She already felt hints of it and the experience was most pleasing. An estrangement between Eaduin and Isolda must not be allowed to develop. Vérité would prevent it. She wasn’t sure what she might do to ease the relationship between father and daughter, but somehow she would find a way. “Thank you.” Eaduin stood, pulling her into his arms, his tongue tracing the curve of her ear, causing her to shiver. “Where were we before we were so rudely interrupted, lady wife?” The growl in his voice brought an immediate response to the rest of her body. Her nipples tightened while the flesh between her thighs dampened and throbbed. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “I’d won a forfeit from you, my lord. It’s my turn to tease and torment you while you hold tight to the pillow behind your head.” He chuckled. “Somehow I hoped you would forget I’d lost our wager.” “Nay, Eaduin. This is one wager I’ll not forget for it gives me the chance to explore your body as you did mine.” “And my forfeit if I reach for you?” His eyes grew serious. Vérité brushed her fingers over his cheek. “I won’t ask to tie you, so you needn’t worry on that score.” He relaxed slightly. Whenever he spoke of being bound, the glow around him dimmed and grayed. It frightened her to see his spirit with such deep and lingering wounds. At some time his soul was sorely damaged. Someone tied Eaduin against his wishes and used him poorly. “Then what do I give you for lack of will, my lady?” “Do you see it so?” She tilted her head, curious at his phrasing. “Surely.” “So had I reached for you during our game, it would have been a lack of will rather than an overwhelming need for you?” He ducked his head. “Forgive me. I had no intent to insult you.” “I would understand you, Eaduin.” “Nay, I would not have viewed your surrender so.”

67

Francesca Hawley

“Then why regard your own differently.” “It’s different for a man.” “My lord, you are not aiding your cause. Why should it be different for a man than a woman?” Eaduin smiled, dipping his head to take hers with a warm, gentle kiss. “Weakness in a woman may be forgiven. Even prized. Weakness in a man is sin and folly.” “Weakness?” Vérité shook her head, frowning up at him. “Tell me do you think Judith is weak or in any way lacking?” “Judith? What has our bedding to do with her?” “Little. Yet you suggest women are weaker and lack will when compared with men. Judith’s strength in spite of her pain shows she is not weak. Likewise, she lacks no will for she yet lives in the face of her anguish.” “I speak of surrender in bed, not elsewhere.” “Then speak more plainly, my lord, lest I mistake your meaning as contempt for the feminine sex.” He shook his head. “I have no contempt for women, perhaps I merely hold myself in contempt.” Vérité opened her mouth to argue. He covered it with his own to silence the debate aborning. She wanted to shout he was in no way worthy of anyone’s contempt, but before she could form thought to word, his tongue began to dance over her lips until she responded. Her fingers tangled in his lustrous black hair as she reveled in their shared hunger. He tugged at her circlet and veil. Vérité barely heard the clink of the silver circlet against the stone as it hit the floor when one of his hands grasped her bottom while the other kneaded her breast through her garments, providing ample distraction. Eaduin slid hot lips from her mouth to her neck, dragging a moan from her. She clutched at his shoulders, kissing his cheek and moving to his ear. When she traced the whorls of his ear with the tip of her tongue he growled. Hoisting her into his arms, he mounted the steps to the bed then laid her onto the mattress settling over her. Much as she wanted him to take control, she wanted to explore his body more. “Eaduin, wait. Stop.” He froze, lifting his head his brows wrinkled with worry. “What is wrong? Have I hurt or frightened you?” “Nay. But you have a forfeit to pay, my lord. I have not forgotten it.” Eaduin dropped his head to her shoulder with a pained groan. “Can you not claim your forfeit another night?” “And the next time you will again ask me to wait. Tonight is when I wish to explore you. Not a month or more from now.” “You are a hard and cruel woman. My cock strains now.”

68

Seeking Truth

“He will survive. Mayhap he will enjoy crowing with more joy after I have paid him proper homage.” Eaduin lifted his head. Intrigue filled his eyes at the suggestion she might worship his manhood. “Homage? How will you pay him tribute, my lady?” Vérité bit her lower lip. “I…” His smile grew wicked. “I recall how Mistress Emma used to pay her respects. Do you?” She stared into his dark insinuating eyes, her breath catching as she remembered Emma licking and sucking his cock. Could she do it? Should she? Perhaps not, but she wanted to. Vérité wondered how he tasted, how he felt, his texture, his smell. Her breasts ached and her lower body throbbed with need. “I have an excellent memory.” “Then I shall let you take your forfeit from me now. How would you have me start, Vérité?” “Remove your clothes so I may see you,” she whispered, sitting up. He climbed out of the bed, pulling off his garments in a flurry of fabric, ’til he stood naked. Such perfection. She knew she would never tire of looking at him all the days of their lives. Eaduin stared down at her still-clothed form, his cock straining upward, the pink tip moist with arousal. Vérité licked her lips as she stared at the pearly bead glistening there. It beckoned her hands to stroke and her mouth to taste. He reached down to stroke himself, enticing her further. “Will you pay homage now?” His rough voice made her nipples tighten with excitement. Nay, she would not lose her head yet. She wanted to explore all of his flesh, not just his sex. She pulled off her kirtle for ease of movement but retained some garments to keep her from giving in to temptation too early in their game. Vérité sat up on her knees near the foot of the bed and beckoned. “Come, Eaduin, lie down and be comfortable.” “Be comfortable while you torment me?” He tensed, a frown crossing his face. “Comfortable while I learn your body. I have no wish to injure you.” She patted the bed and reluctantly he sat then reclined. “Hands, Eaduin.” He chuckled. “You take no chances, do you?” “Nay. This is my game and I intend to play it well.” “As you wish, my lady.” He raised his arms over his head, sliding them under the pillow, his legs pressed flat to the bed and crossed at the ankle. “Part your legs and bend them at the knee, as you asked me.” His breath paused for a moment before he complied. Vérité lifted her dress and shift so she would not get trapped within it then crawled between his spread thighs. She set a hand on each of his shins, enjoying the feel of the rough hair. Her hands glided

69

Francesca Hawley

upward, stopping at his knees before she trailed fingertips along his inner thighs. He shivered and scooted his hips away from her rather than arch toward her. Why? Finally, Vérité recognized the mix of arousal and reluctance evident in his body. She allowed her gaze to travel the length of him. His cock strained upright, his belly tight with arousal, but his breath was abnormally fast. The speed of his breath was not excitement as when he had been playing with her but fear. She knew the difference from treating victims of bandits. She would come to tend their wounds in the night and they would wake in terror, their breaths shallow and fast. This huge, strong man was afraid but pretending he wasn’t. She stared at his chest. His nipples were tight yet his skin was beaded with sweat. Lusty but fearful. Vérité finished her examination with his face. Eaduin looked perfectly relaxed. When Vérité allowed her gift free, she saw the colors of fear in the glow around his body. This had not been her intent, but how and why he felt such fear was a mystery to her. She’d opened a wound, but now she must find a way to lance the poison or it would haunt their marriage. “Eaduin, do you want me to stop?” He laughed. “Nay, lady, do your worst. I’m ready.” Vérité blinked. For the first time since they met, she saw his aura flare with a lie as he spoke. It was disturbing for his words to say one thing while his body said another. She could quit their play and allow him control, but it would only delay the issue. No, this issue must be addressed so trust might grow between them. If she used her gift while she learned him, she would be aware if she endangered his spirit and could pull back or stop. She bit her lip. What was the right thing to do? “Why do you wait, Vérité? Do you seek to punish me further?” “Punish? Nay, Eaduin. I would not punish you but pleasure you and myself.” Perhaps if she was naked too. She could try. Vérité pulled her underdress off, tossing it on top of her kirtle on the stairs below. He relaxed slightly, so she removed her shift, pitching it to join the rest. He smiled as he stared at her full breasts. “Your nipples strain, begging for attention. Show them some.” Vérité gasped. “Touch myself?” “Yea. Caress them. Pinch them.” She viewed him with her gift, he had relaxed and the fear ebbed somewhat. Though he was constrained by his promise not to touch, he could still be in control of their lovemaking. Vérité looked down at the tight points running her forefingers lightly over the tips. She gasped in surprise for it felt similar to when Eaduin had touched her. Pleasurable. She threw back her head, tugging on her nipples. Each pinch shot a path of fire between her legs, dragging moans from her. “Suck them.” “Do what?” Vérité lifted her head to stare into his dark spellbinding eyes. All fear had left his aura to be replaced by the red of desire.

70

Seeking Truth

“Lower your head to your breast and suck your nipple.” “But…” “Do it.” She blinked. Lowering her head, she sucked on her breast, moaning when her arousal doubled. “Eaduin, this is wrong. I want to learn you!” “You are. You learn what rouses my lust.” “Lust is sin.” “Then we do the priest a favor, for now we have something to confess. Reach between your legs and stroke the bead I teased with my tongue while you lick and suck on your nipple.” Unable to resist the temptation, she followed his order to stroke her damp folds. It felt so good, she whimpered pressing hard on the tight bead of flesh. “Now what should I do?” “Rub it. Stroke it.” Her fingers followed his orders even though her brain was past thinking. “Oh Eaduin.” “Make circular motions.” Her hips rocked as her fingers played with her cunt. She gasped, unable to continue to suck her breasts. Her entire being was focused between her legs and the dancing of her fingers over the slick, swollen flesh. “Use your other hand to play with your nipples, Vérité. Bring yourself to release.” She arched her back, tugging on her nipples while the massage of her fingers drove her hips to roll in a counter rhythm, increasing the friction. Her belly and thighs strained as she reached for her release. “Rub faster, Vérité.” She whimpered as she obeyed his hoarse order. “Now pinch your nipple…hard.” She followed his direction, screaming and shuddering as release coursed through her body. Vérité collapsed back onto the bed, using the friction of her fingers between her legs to gain every last dreg of pleasure, shudders racking her body. Slowly she opened her eyes and turned her head. Eaduin sat up on the bed, but his hands remained on the bed clenching the sheets. He had not broken his word, but his face was tight with need and his cock oozed fluid, signaling how stimulated he was by watching her climax. With a sigh, she crawled over to him, pushing his shoulders gently back to the bed and straddling one of his thighs. Pressing her damp folds against his hip bone, Vérité kissed him easily, silencing the groan he made. When she lifted her head, she relished how his mouth followed hers in an attempt to continue the kiss as she pulled away. His head dropped back to the pillow while she looked down into his deep brown eyes. She stroked his lips, jumping when he sucked her damp fingers into his mouth, but smiled as he licked her pleasure juices from her hand. 71

Francesca Hawley

“I love the way you taste, woman. Like the finest, most costly of spices from the east.” “Shall I discover how you taste, then?” Vérité feathered kisses over the planes of his face then moved to his ear. He shivered as the tip of her tongue traced the pattern God had made then groaned when she nipped at his earlobe. “I think you take pleasure in this. Am I right?” “God, yea.” He stretched toward her searching mouth. “So do I,” she whispered. Perspiration coated the skin of his chin and neck. She enjoyed the salty taste as she licked and kissed her way along. The roughness of his face and the underside of his chin teased her lips, increasing her excitement. As she ventured lower, she noted his throat was much smoother than his chin, but the muscles were tight under his skin. Was he afraid again? She allowed her eyes to unfocus so she could see his aura. No fear showed. His tenseness was a result of his desire. Good. For she wanted to explore him completely. Every beautiful inch of him. She tasted his shoulders and the upper part of his chest then leaned back. Were his nipples as sensitive as her own? Vérité traced a path over his chest with her fingertips, smiling as his muscles rippled under her touch and his nipples tightened. She glanced up at his face. His teeth were clenched and he watched every move her fingers made over his body. She flicked his nipple with her fingernail and he nearly unseated her as he bucked. Perhaps he was more sensitive than she. Deciding to test her theory, she pinched his nipple. Prepared for his reaction, she rode him as she would an unruly horse, chuckling in enjoyment. At her laugh he froze and suddenly the fear returned to his aura. She looked up at his face. His muscles were tense and his eyes were closed. What had she done? “Eaduin, what troubles you?” “Nothing. I’m fine. Continue your sport.” Again he lied. She stared at him, trying to go over in her mind what upset him so. It was her laugh. When she had laughed at his reaction, he had withdrawn from her. Oh, his body was still painfully aroused and his cock strained, seeping more moisture from the tip, but he was afraid. Who had taunted him about his arousal? Someone must have or he wouldn’t respond so poorly to her. “It isn’t mere sport for me, Eaduin. I gain pleasure from your arousal, just as you gain pleasure from mine. Is that not how it should be?” He opened his eyes reluctantly, searching her face. Eaduin seemed to be looking for something specific, relaxing when he didn’t see it. “It should be but often isn’t.” “Well, I want it to be part of our pleasure. Neither of us should taunt or hurt the other in our bed. We should share our pleasure with one another. Do you agree?”

72

Seeking Truth

Again he searched her face, tenseness dissipating. “I agree.” “Good. I think your nipples are even more responsive than mine, Eaduin. Shall I try again?” “As you will, my lady.” She smiled. “So I shall.” She pinched one nipple while flicking her finger against the other. His hips arched off the bed, his hands grasping the sheets in a death hold. She remembered how Eaduin increased her excitement earlier, so she gently blew against one of his nipples, causing his hips to twitch. He groaned. Vérité smiled as his cock strained toward her. Would he gain his release solely from having his nipples teased as she had? She would test him to find out. Vérité leaned over him and flicked her tongue rapidly against the nearest nipple. He roared, straining upward but his cock didn’t spurt. Not yet. She sucked his nipple into her mouth while she pinched the other between thumb and forefinger. “God in Heaven, woman. You’ll be the death of me!” Nay, he experienced no release. His control over his response was astounding. Had their positions been reversed, she would have shattered into pieces by now. She looked down at his cock to gauge his need. When they started he was a dusky rose, but now his cock glowed an angry red. A flush colored his face, chest and shoulders. He was very close, but his will was indeed strong. It would take stronger measures to draw his seed from his body, but she was up to the task. She wanted to know what brought a man to his pleasure and tonight she would learn. Her nipples were tight with exhilaration and her juices flowed from between her legs, trickling onto his hip bone. Vérité pressed her body to his, thrusting her hips against him. It felt good, but she stopped before she climaxed. She had more to learn from him and seeking her own pleasure would distract her. Vérité trailed her fingers over his belly, smiling as the sinews undulated while she stroked him. She leaned over to sample the sweat dewing his stomach. Such a pleasing flavor. His belly jerked in response. She licked her way to his bellybutton then dipped her tongue inside. His moan was as pleasing to her as the sound of a well-played lute. His head whipped back and forth, but he held firm. He kept his seed to himself instead of sharing it with her. Though his face reflected agony, the glow around him showed her his enjoyment, which reassured her. No fear and no pain. All was well. She must simply try harder to gain his release.

73

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Ten He would die. Surely, he would die. Never in his years of bedding women had he found a single one so capable of driving him to the brink of sanity, but Vérité held such power in her hands. Talented hands. Work-roughened but strong and competent. Eaduin reveled in her untutored caresses. He opened his eyes to watch his wife torment his flesh. She had yet to stroke his cock, but it was so swollen it was liable to burst the moment she did. Her gaze held the hunger of a woman starved as she surveyed him like a feast. Fingernails grazed his chest and abdomen, drawing a guttural groan from his tight throat. Eaduin fought to prevent himself from arching under her tentative touch with little luck. He threw back his head, forcing his mind from the excruciating pleasure she extracted from his body. He must think of other thoughts to hold his climax at bay. Tomorrow. What tasks required his attention in the morn? He must see to his squires’ training. Traveling merchants would arrive to sell their wares in the central square of the heath. Then she stroked his thigh, sending all thought from his mind. “Vérité. Touch me! Have done!” He lifted his head to glare at her. She smiled at him. A smile as old as Eve. “But, Eaduin, I’ve just begun. There’s so much of you to explore.” She sucked his nipple, finally tugging on the aching tip with her sharp little teeth. “Investigate.” Her mouth blazed a trail over his belly, stopping with maddening intent just above where his cock strained along his lower abdomen. “Experiment.” She climbed off his thigh to settle between his legs. Both her hands lightly brushed the full length of his inner thighs, leaving them trembling. “And discover.” She lowered her head to blow on his cock. His hips jerked. He groaned, recognizing his own words. “For God’s sake, Vérité, just suck me!” “Soon, Eaduin. Soon.” He would not break. Nay. She had refrained from grabbing him when their roles were reversed so Eaduin could not accept her will was greater than his. He would not reach for her. Not now. But when this game was at an end, he would ride her until she couldn’t walk and she’d thank him for it too. God’s Blood. Vérité slid her palms over his hips then brushed a single fingertip down the shaft of his straining cock, chuckling as droplets of his seed leaked from the tip. “Almost.” He met her teasing gaze. Hearing her laugh this time didn’t bring Annys’ many tortures immediately to his mind. No, when he heard laughter, he saw Vérité, wideeyed with wonder. How could he feel healing as a result of being laughed at? Perhaps it

74

Seeking Truth

was the surety he might suffer from his as yet unfulfilled release, but he would not be left tied to the bed in agony until the morning light flooded the room. Vérité would grant him release and enjoy it nearly as much as he did. “Do you want me to taste you, Eaduin?” He closed his eyes. “Yea, my lady. I do.” “Open your eyes, then, and watch.” He reluctantly lifted his eyelids again meeting her gaze. She lowered her head and he could feel her light breaths grazing the sensitive head of his cock. When she lapped at the glistening seed deposited there, he shuddered, fighting off climax with every fiber of his being. He wouldn’t let it be over yet. Nay, he wanted to feel her suck his cock into her mouth, licking him from tip to ballocks. He wanted her to worship his manhood with her hands and mouth before swallowing his seed when it arched from his body akin to an arrow shot by a bow. She licked again, crinkling her nose while he squirmed. “It tastes salty. I’ve tasted nothing similar before.” “Just as well.” “Indeed?” Vérité smiled, gently grasping him then lowering her head to taste further. His hips jerked as her velvet mouth slowly covered the head. Her tongue swirled over him while she sucked lightly. “Vérité have done. Please. I want to fuck you!” “You want to what?” He blushed as he realized what he’d said. “Forgive me…” “For what?” “For my language.” “Is there something wrong? What does it mean? What is fuck?” Eaduin ran his hand over his sweat-covered face. A virgin. A lady. He had to remember. She knew nothing. “Make love. A crude term for lovemaking.” “Fuck. Hmmmm. I think I could grow fond of the word. And the act.” She ran her fingertip over the sensitive head. “For the love of God, Vérité,” he shouted, his cock strained painfully. “I’m sorry.” Her giggle belied the apology as her fingers danced over his cock before clasping him again. She went back to lapping at him like a kitten after milk, which served more as torture than satisfaction. He twisted under her tongue, growling. “Jerk him off.” “Do what?” “Grasp the shaft and slide your hands up and down.” He gestured to demonstrate before returning his hand to clutch the much-abused linen of the pillow slip. She immediately put his suggestion into practice then followed the hand action by sucking him into her moist mouth. He roared. “Yes. Oh…my…God.”

75

Francesca Hawley

He writhed, hips lifting as her tongue flicked over the shaft and head of his cock. His body bowed off the bed and then all control was gone as his seed erupted from his cock, sending him into paroxysms of rapture. Endless delight. Eaduin slowly forced open his eyes, laughing at the surprised expression on her face as she attempted to lick up small spurts of seed that still seeped from his spasming cock. Glistening droplets of his cum streaked her right cheek and fingers. Still she held him, tugging on his shaft and staring in fascination. She looked up at him. “I didn’t know he would do that.” He threw his head back, laughing heartily for the first time in days. “That and more my lady.” “More? Does he juggle too?” “Nay, he’s not quite so talented.” He looked down at her. “Is the game at an end?” Vérité nodded. He reached down to pull her into his arms, rolling her onto her back and covering her mouth with tender kisses. The taste of his cum on her mouth pleased him. Eaduin lifted his head to gently rub his cream from her cheek. Before he could wipe it on the bedding, she caught his hand to lick it off his finger. He smiled down at her. “I think this marriage is most promising.” She grinned. “I would agree with your assessment, my lord.” They both jumped when pounding on a door shattered the quiet of their afterlovemaking glow. “This best be important or I’ll have someone whipped,” Eaduin growled. “Eaduin, you wouldn’t.” He shook his head, kissing her forehead. “No, however tempting it might be.” He rolled away from her when more knocking echoed in the room. He frowned as he realized it wasn’t the door that opened onto the hallway. “Eaduin, where is the knocking coming from?” “My private solar. Damn it to hell!” “Eaduin!” The pounding echoed again, so he roared at the door. “Who goes there?” When the handle of the door started to turn, he shouted, “Nay, you damn idiot. Call out. What is needed?” He leaned back on his elbow, pulling some of the covers over Vérité’s nakedness. “Father. I have a question for you.” “Isolda,” he muttered, dropping his head onto Vérité’s damp shoulder. He knew it had to be Isolda, but he had wanted to be wrong. “Eaduin, she’s your daughter.” “With miserable timing.” “Her timing could be worse. She could have knocked five minutes earlier.” 76

Seeking Truth

He chuckled, meeting Vérité’s amused grin with his own. “True.” He groaned, rising from the bed. “Where did I leave my trews this time?” “On the floor, my lord.” She lay on her side pointing at the floor beside the stairs. “Shit.” He glanced quickly at her to find her raising her brows but unable to prevent a smile from tugging at her lips. “Sorry.” “I may have to learn from Judith. Merely sigh and roll my eyes.” “It might be best.” She propped her chin on her hand. “It might.” He pulled on his trews and scooped his undertunic off the floor, slipping it over his head. “I could be gone for a bit.” “I understand. I’ll go to sleep. Prime comes early.” “You will still go to pray?” His gaze flew to her. She shrugged. “Habit?” “Of some kind, at any rate. Good night, lady wife.” “Good night, Eaduin.” Eaduin tugged on his boots then slipped out the door of the solar into his office. Isolda held her hands before a low fire recently lit, sadness on her face. He sighed, drawing her attention. She opened her mouth to speak then closed it. He pulled the door closed behind him, crossing the room. “What brings you to my rooms so late, Daughter?” She crossed her arms over her chest defensively. “I don’t want anger to stand between us.” “Nor do I, Isolda. But I also will not countenance insolence to my lady.” “Your lady, indeed. Did you finally impregnate one of your many mistresses?” Eaduin clenched his hands to keep himself from responding immediately with anger. What had Vérité said? Change is frightening. Was his daughter scared he might not love her anymore? He took a deep breath. “No, I did not. You already know better, so please cease insulting Vérité or me.” She looked down at the floor, biting her lip. “Why didn’t you tell me?” “Tell you? Why didn’t I tell you what?” “About your marriage.” “Because the wedding took place today. It was rather difficult to send word from the abbey while Godwin rode for the bishop to marry us.” “But why? Why did you marry? You swore you would never marry again.” What did he tell her? “Judith and the people in my care need a healer. Vérité has been trained by Judith and other sisters at the abbey. She was willing to come here, but she couldn’t come as an unmarried woman.”

77

Francesca Hawley

“You married her because you need a healer? I’ve been trained too. I could have come back.” “Your place is with your husband, Isolda. Crispin is Alec’s heir. You will be Lady de Montfort one day.” “God willing in the far distant future. I’m fond of my father-in-law.” “So am I.” She frowned. “But…” “Our friendship and closeness may be gone, child, but he’s still my squire brother.” She nodded, her gaze returning to the closed door. “So you don’t love her?” Eaduin opened his mouth to say nay but paused. He didn’t love her today, but could he love her? Yea. It was possible love might grow between them. He would not lie to Isolda now for he never had before. “I may not love her today, but I hope love grows between us. Would you not wish it for me?” She ducked her head, flushing. “Yea. But will you still love me?” she asked in a small voice. Eaduin crossed to her, tugging her into his arms. “Child, I held you as a newborn and my heart was lost the minute the midwife put you in my hands. So tiny. So helpless. I will love you ’til the day I die…even after.” She grasped him tightly, pressing her nose to his chest. He kissed her forehead. She still smelled of sunshine and green grass, just as she had when she was a little girl. He rocked her in his arms and she laughed, leaning back to wipe away tears. “Better?” “Yea, Papa,” she sighed. “I’m sorry.” “As am I. Had I known I would soon be married, I would have sent word.” “But you knew Judith was ill. Why did you not send for me?” Eaduin found a jug of wine on the nearby table pouring a glass for fortification. He drank a deep draught before he turned back to Isolda. “Her pain has been increasing and I’ve not left her side for…” He frowned as he tried to remember how long he’d been tending her. “Well, weeks at any rate. Bronwen and Godwin have shared duties, but I didn’t want them to have to endure her pain too much. It is my responsibility.” “Have you been sleeping?” “Why do so many people find my sleep so fascinating?” “Perhaps because you often forgo it if you feel you are needed.” Her dry tone made him laugh. She knew him well, indeed. “I slept earlier tonight. After I brought Vérité, Judith ordered me to bed. Vérité countermanded my order to be woken after four hours so I slept quite long. I am much restored.” 78

Seeking Truth

Knocks sounded on the outer door of the office. “For the love of God, does no one in this castle sleep?” He turned. “Enter.” One of his men-at-arms opened the door. “My lord. Judith wakes.” “God. No. She has need of me?” “Need of your lady. She screams again.” Eaduin gulped the last of his wine then went to the bedroom, ducking his head inside. “Vérité? Do you sleep?” She sat up in bed. “Nay. Judith?” “She has need.” “I come.” She climbed out of the bed, throwing on her shift and overdress then grabbed her bag of medicines from the floor and ran out of the solar and into the hallway. He leaned against the door, burying his face in his hands. “Please, God, let her pain pass quickly,” he whispered. He followed Vérité to Judith’s room, no thought for anyone else.

79

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Eleven Eaduin paused outside the threshold of Judith’s room, his gut clenching as he heard her screams of pain. It wasn’t right. How could God visit such horrors upon a kind and decent woman such as Judith? What sort of God was He? Eaduin felt a deep rage at the Creator rise in him. It was nothing new, but it was growing almost as if his rage were a saw cutting through his relationship with this Divine Being who would allow such suffering in His world. “Eaduin, come. I need you to calm her.” He forced himself into the room at Vérité’s call. Judith lay curled in a ball in the center of her bed. She clutched her enlarged belly, screaming as if she were in the throes of birth pains. She arched then pounded on her abdomen as if it might stop the agony tearing at her. Eaduin took her in his arms, offering what comfort he could give. Her expression contorted and tears ran down her face as she screamed again. He brushed lank hair off her face, rocking her while she clenched her fingers tightly in the fabric of his tunic. “Eaduin. Make it stop. Oh God, make it stop.” She pounded on his shoulder, a scream ripped from her throat. Where was Vérité? Damn it she should be tending Judith, but his lady stood over in the corner consulting Bronwen, who had tears running down her cheeks. “Damn it to hell, Vérité. Do something.” She turned to glare at him. “I am, Eaduin.” What kind of healer was she? He wondered as she returned to her conversation with Bronwen. “You are standing across the room when Judith needs you. Help her now!” “Eaduin, I know you are overwrought, but I will have you removed if you interfere with me. Now be still!” Eaduin’s jaw dropped as he stared at her. He snapped his mouth shut, clenching his teeth. Who was this forceful woman and how dare she? Vérité patted Bronwen then came over to where her bag of medicinals sat on a high table, pulling various items from it. “Why do you not give her more of the medicines that worked earlier?” He winced as Judith pounded on his back, but he held fast to her. Why in God’s name couldn’t he take this pain for her? He would if only he knew how. Judith clawed at him, screaming hoarsely. Oh God in Heaven, mayhap he should just drive his fist into her jaw to silence her. It might be a mercy. He glared at Vérité as she measured dry herbs. “Damn it. Help her!”

80

Seeking Truth

Vérité paused, taking a deep breath. This time she turned completely so he could see her face, noticing what he hadn’t before. Tears streaked her cheeks. “Eaduin, I know you are upset but I must measure this medicine very carefully lest I give her too much and kill her. Now be still!” Eaduin bit his lip, rocking Judith as he waited for Vérité to finish her careful measuring. She put barely a sprinkle of the medicine into a cup of mead, stirring it up then dipped her tongue into the honey wine and nodded. She approached the bed, cup in hand. “Lean her back.” Eaduin eased her off his shoulder. “Now catch her hands. I don’t want her to hit the cup away.” Reluctantly, he grasped her hands tightly. Vérité knelt on the end of the bed. “Judith.” Judith’s screams continued unabated. He jumped when Vérité dealt a sharp slap to her cheek, but Judith paused, her eyes opening. Vérité nodded. “Judith do you hear me?” “Yea. Oh God, child, make it stop.” “I pray I can. I need you to drink. Very slowly.” Vérité held the cup to Judith’s mouth, dribbling liquid into his foster mother’s mouth. Judith’s face wrinkled as she moved her head away from the cup. “Valerian?” “Yea, with but a touch of monkshood.” Eaduin’s eyes flew to Vérité’s face. “Monkshood? It’s deadly poison!” “Hence my careful measurement.” She returned the cup to Judith’s mouth. “Drink down a bit more. We will take this slowly. When you feel the pain start to ease, I want you to tell me.” Judith nodded, drinking a bit more of the dosed mead. She paused when she had finished about half the contents of the cup. Her breathing was easier and her body began to relax. “I feel marginally improved.” “Let us wait a few moments, then. I have no wish to give you too much.” Judith laid her head on Eaduin’s shoulder and he pressed his cheek to her hair. He swallowed and met his lady’s troubled eyes. “Forgive me.” She smiled. “There is nothing to forgive. She was in pain and you sought to ease it.” “But I should not have yelled at you.” She reached out and brushed his cheek with her fingers. “If not me, then who?” Vérité leaned down to press a kiss to his cheek before turning back to her bag of medicines. Judith shifted in his arms sitting up slightly. “I think I need a bit more of the medicine, child.” Vérité brought the cup back and helped Judith drink a bit more then took the cup away. Judith sighed. “The pain eases. Thank you, Vérité.”

81

Francesca Hawley

“I’m glad the medicines helped. We’ll wait a bit to see if you drowse. If not, you may need to finish the cup.” Judith nodded, turning her head to meet Eaduin’s eyes. She started to smile. “New experience to have a woman put you in your place, eh, boy?” He chuckled, catching Vérité’s gaze. “Definitely. She is a woman of…many talents.” He winked at her, enjoying the blush which rose in her cheeks. He looked back down at Judith. “It is a pleasure to see you in less pain.” “It is a blessing to feel less pain. I hadn’t considered combining valerian and monkshood, though I should have, it works amazingly well.” She yawned. “I feel like death.” “Judith…” he scolded. “Eaduin, accept my death. It will come. Otherwise, you will grieve all the worse for the loss.” She patted his cheek, glancing over his shoulder her face lit up. “Isolda? As I live and breathe, is it you, child?” Isolda ran into the room, dropping to the floor beside the bed and burying her head in Judith’s lap. Judith’s face softened as she stroked the shining black hair of his daughter. “I didn’t realize you had followed us here, Daughter.” She lifted her head, looking from Judith to Eaduin and back. “I did. Judith is my grandmother by love if not blood.” Judith swallowed, tears moistening her eyes. Happy tears this time. “Thank you, my girl. I feel the same.” “Judith, do you wish to remain awake for a bit?” Vérité asked. Judith cocked her head, looking down at Isolda, stroking her cheek. “I think so. Leave the cup with my granddaughter here. She can bear me company for the night and if I have need of more medicine I can finish the mead.” Vérité nodded. “Very well. Bronwen should go to bed. She needs her sleep.” Judith smiled, glancing at her oldest daughter. “Especially now, child. We need you healthy.” Eaduin frowned. “Especially now. That’s the second time someone has used the phrase. Why especially now?” Bronwen bit her lip, looking at the floor. “You’ll be wroth with me.” Eaduin frowned. Why would he be angry, unless… His eyes widened. “You’re with child? For God’s sake, Bronwen! You nearly died with the last! Where is Richard, I will beat him senseless!” Eaduin rose, intending to put words to action. Vérité caught his arm, drawing a scowl from him. She shook her head, encouraging him without words to remain calm. He took a deep breath, returning his gaze to his sister. “Well?” “It was my decision. My last child was born five years ago, and I want more children while I’m still young enough to have them, Eaduin. I want to give Richard a son.” 82

Seeking Truth

“And the risk to you? What if the daughters you have lose their mother?” “It won’t happen.” “How can you know, Bronwen?” Bronwen glanced at her mother and bit her lip. Judith smiled her “cat with a tasty bird” look. Eaduin looked around the room, only family remained within earshot. “You told her, Judith?” “Yea, my son. She will do well this time.” “A boy?” “Yea.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I pray to God you are right, love.” He looked at his sister, who still looked uncertain. Forcing a smile to his lips, he walked to her and gave her a brief hug then kissed her forehead. “Congratulations, Bronwen. May God protect you and the babe.” “Thank you, Brother.” She relaxed and gave him a shy smile. “I’ll join Richard and get some sleep.” He shook his head as she strolled serenely from the room. “I will make up another cup of the medicine for you. Is the mead sweet enough to make the valerian palatable, Judith?” “Just. Though it still tastes vile.” “Medicine isn’t supposed to taste pleasant lest one relies upon it too much.” Judith chuckled. “My own words used against me.” “Indeed.” Vérité returned to the table and her bag, filling a second cup with mead then measured herbs from two different packets into a very small stone mortar. She ground them together with the pestle and then measured a slight amount of the combination into the mead. She stirred it then again dipped her tongue into the liquid. “Why do you taste it?” Eaduin asked. “If my tongue goes numb immediately, I have too much monkshood in the mix and must start again.” She glanced over to where Judith and Isolda murmured together, motioning him close. “Eaduin, there may come a time when we will need to make a decision to let her go.” He frowned. “I don’t understand.” She took a deep breath, raising her eyes to meet his gaze. “You do, you just don’t wish to.” “You mean?” When she nodded, he leaned close. “But it’s murder.” “Is it? Or is it mercy? I’ll not make the decision without your approval, but you must begin to consider, Eaduin. The pain will return. Each time it does, it will be stronger.” She shook her head. “I will do my best to keep her at ease, but there may come a time…” Vérité sighed, rubbing her eyes then yawning wide. “Oh dear.” “What is it?” 83

Francesca Hawley

She smiled, eyelids drooping, she swayed slightly. “I’m afraid in tasting the medicine I’ve dosed myself with it too. I’d best go to bed before I fall down.” “Damnation,” he muttered, catching her and lifting her into his arms. “What’s wrong with her?” Eaduin frowned at his daughter. “Mayhap, she is tired, Daughter.” Vérité lifted her head, eyes working to focus on Isolda. “Be sure to stir the mead before having Judith drink.” “Why?” “You must stir the medicines up from the bottom and redistribute them throughout the liquid otherwise as Judith reaches the bottom of the cup there will be too much medicine. It is very important. Judith, explain to her please.” Vérité laid her head on Eaduin’s shoulder. “Good night.” “Dosed herself, did she?” Eaduin chuckled at Judith’s dry tone. “I think so.” “Take your wife to bed and both of you get some sleep. Isolda will bear me company.” “Yea, Nanna. I will sit with you tonight.” Judith kissed Isolda’s forehead. “Thank you, child.” She smiled at Eaduin. “I am much improved and will sleep soon myself.” “Very well. Isolda, if you need us for any reason, call upon us.” “Yea, Papa. Good night.” Eaduin carried his lady from the room and to their chamber. He laid her on their bed and stripped first her then himself. When he slid into the bed at her side, she sighed, rolling toward him. Vérité wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest, slipping into a deep sleep. Eaduin pulled her close, smiling at the pleasing feel of having a woman curl into him. It had been years since he had been fortunate enough to enjoy the sensation. It felt good…right. He closed his eyes, relaxing into sleep.

84

Seeking Truth

Chapter Twelve The stars were still out but the sky grew pink in the east as Vérité pulled her cloak around her, allowing her gaze to skim Judith’s garden through the gates. It was well ordered and smelled of healthy, vital growing things. So very different from the nowsickly woman who had cultivated it. Vérité unlatched the gate to slip inside, closing it behind her. Today was truly the beginning of a new life for her. When she awoke this morning, she’d been disoriented. Most mornings were cold, and she woke shivering in her bed, so pulling on her wool overdress was welcome, but today she’d felt warm and cozy. As her senses returned, she heard a soft snore in her right ear and realized a large hand cupped her naked breast while another curled familiarly between her thighs. Vérité had nearly leaped from the bed until she had remembered she was married. She’d turned her head to look on him, unable to hold back a sigh. Even in sleep Eaduin was as beautiful as an angel. No strange creases on his skin from the bed linens, no drool dotting his cheek. Instead his long lashes lay against his cheeks, making her yearn to stroke them. She wanted to remain in bed, just staring at him, but she needed to go to chapel and she needed to investigate the garden. More than that, she needed to be alone. Blessedly alone. No flaring emotions. No painful auras. Just rest among healthy uncomplicated greenery. Vérité breathed deeply, following the scent of lavender, bending to pick some and adding it to the basket she carried. She could make more lavender water for herself and perhaps dry some for sachets for her clothing. Smiling, she studied the fragrant flowers in her hands. Eaduin would appreciate the effort. Vérité continued to make her way around the garden, harvesting various other herbs, including valerian and monkshood to replenish her stock. She smiled as she saw a healthy crop of mugwort. It was early to harvest, but she took some nonetheless. Her own supplies were low and she had no idea how much Judith might have available. She sighed as her eyes wandered the raised beds, pleased at the lush growth around her. Judith was leaving her a rich legacy here. As she made her way toward the back wall of the garden, she paused when she saw someone sitting on a bench under a trellis. Vérité looked with her gift, seeing the colors of a pure but emotion-filled spirit. “Who is there?” The person rose and stepped out of the shadows. Vérité gasped, covering her mouth and nearly dropping her basket. It was as if Judith had healed and now stood before her, but it was impossible. Just before Vérité came to the garden she had checked on her patient. Judith had been deeply asleep. “Judith?” 85

Francesca Hawley

“Nay. I’m Eirene. I don’t think we’ve ever met. I rarely travel.” “Nay. We’ve not met.” Vérité blinked. She would most definitely have remembered meeting a woman in her mentor’s image. The sun was rising, which made it much easier to see the young woman standing so gravely in the garden. She was truly was the image of her mother. Pleasingly formed, a lovely face, blonde hair, which hung in braids down to her waist, and clear, ice blue eyes. Eirene smiled, twisting her hands in her cloak. “I’m sorry to intrude. I understand the need to be alone sometimes. I’ll leave.” “No, you aren’t intruding. I’m just surprised. Your siblings bear a strong resemblance to your sire.” Eirene laughed. “I know. I don’t really fit in. I’m not nearly as attractive as they are.” “Oh child, you are lovely. How can you doubt it?” The younger woman shrugged. “You are in earnest, aren’t you?” “Yea. Your mother is a beauty and I truly thought she had healed to stand before me here.” Vérité paused in thought. When Judith passed away, Eirene would be a painful reminder to Eaduin of his beloved foster mother. “I know.” Vérité met the girl’s sad eyes. “You know what?” “Nothing. Never mind.” She bit her lip, staring at the ground. “I’m sorry. I should have introduced myself. My name is Lady Vérité de Sauigni.” “But you are Eaduin’s new wife, are you not? You are Lady Vérité Kempe.” “I am, aren’t I?” Vérité took a deep breath. It would take time to adjust to her new name, her new station, her new lord. She shifted slightly, almost able to feel Eaduin’s cock inside her again just by thinking of it. She glanced at Eirene to find her blushing and staring at her feet. “How did you know who I was?” “My mother mentioned you.” “Did she?” The flare around Eirene flickered, indicating a lie. Somehow the young woman knew who she was without having been told. Of course the word may have spread like a grass fire, or it might not. “Your mother is improved and slept well during the night. I will attend Mass then return to her side after completing my tasks here.” “Thank you for easing her pain. Her cries have upset us all, especially Eaduin. He hates being unable to help those he loves.” “I understand.” Vérité smiled slightly, bending to pick more herbs. How she wished Eaduin could love her with the same depth he held for Judith. 86

Seeking Truth

“Wouldn’t you want him to love you as a wife, not a mother?” Eirene murmured. “Of course…I just wish—” Vérité’s eyes flew upward. There was something unusual about Eirene, almost as if she could…but no. No one could read minds, could they? Eirene met her eyes then quickly looked away, as if frightened. “I must go. It was a pleasure to meet you. My brother is very fortunate in his new bride.” The younger woman attempted to walk past, but Vérité caught her arm. Their eyes met and it was as if the northern lights glowed around them both. Vérité could see Eirene’s spirit flare and glow as the purple of strong gifts clung to her like a mantle. Eirene could read minds. Somehow Vérité just knew. “That’s why you avoid others, isn’t it. The onslaught of all the mental noise of their thoughts.” Eirene’s eyes grew wide, and she started to shake with fear. “I must go.” “Nay. Please, understand. I would never betray you. Never. I understand how difficult it is to be assaulted by others, though their intent is not to wound you. They can’t help it.” Eirene studied her, frowning. “You hear thoughts?” “Nay, I see emotions, especially the truth. It can be painful if someone is…cruel.” “You speak of my father.” “And your older half sister.” “I could not be near either of them without feeling overwhelmed by their thoughts.” “I know. It was the state of their souls which overset me.” Vérité and Eirene stared at one another then they started to grin. Finally they laughed, embracing each other. Relief flooding them as they recognized they had found another person who understood and accepted. “I’ve asked Eaduin to allow me to live at the abbey. I’m sure it will be quieter there.” Vérité drew back, shaking her head. “Nay, you’ll not find it any quieter. Nor will you find it much kinder.” “But, the abbey is filled with women of God. Brides of Christ. Are their thoughts not entirely devoted to God?” “You’d want to listen to those thoughts all the time? You are far braver than I.” Vérité paused. “Most of the sisters are good women, but there is one sister who will haunt you. Sister Berthe believes abilities such as we have are of the devil. Had she been able to work her will, I would have been burned as a witch years ago.” Eirene’s eyes widened and she grew pale. “A witch? The abbess has always been kind to me.”

87

Francesca Hawley

“Mother Anne is a good, kind woman. She believes such abilities are of God, but Sister Berthe is a danger to anyone who is…different.” Vérité shuddered. Images of the many abuses heaped on her by the nun flitted through her mind like wind through sheaves of wheat standing in the fields. Such memories were many and painful. “I would encourage you to reconsider. Perhaps marriage…” “And have my husband torment me instead? No, thank you.” “I hope not all men treat women poorly.” Vérité bit her lip, thinking of Eaduin. He was surrounded by women with special abilities. She had almost made up her mind to tell him of her own gifts, but it might be best to wait. “Eaduin is a kind man. He has offered nothing but support to Mother and to me. Surely as his wife he will grant you more.” Vérité blinked, having forgotten Eirene’s ability for a moment. “He loves your mother, and he loves you. I am…useful to him…for many reasons, but he doesn’t love me.” She patted Eirene’s arm, turning toward the garden entrance. “I must go to the stillroom to set things to drying. Can you direct me?” Eirene nodded, leading her to a heavy wood door set into the stone wall of the garden. Vérité expected a low roofed, small room but when she stepped inside, she gasped in delight. The room was large with several work tables. Off to one side was a drying area where herbs hung in various stage of preparation. Stoneware pots with carefully fitted lids filled several cabinets obviously built to house them. Several different stone mortars and pestles were placed around the room and a large fireplace was set into one wall. “Oh my. Such riches.” Vérité could barely breathe surrounded by such wondrous medicinals. She ran to different shelves and pots, investigating the contents. The garden had impressed her, but the stillroom nearly set her swooning with excitement. Judith had organized the room with care. Herbs for beauty or scent were placed in one location, food herbs in another, general purpose medicinal herbs in another, and dangerous herbs in yet another carefully enclosed space and clearly labeled to warn the user of the contents. “I would guess you approve of this workroom.” “Approve? God in Heaven above, had I known such a place existed I would have endangered my immortal soul with envy! It is exactly what a healer needs to assist her in her work.” Vérité sighed, laughing. “I must thank your mother most humbly for this truly amazing gift.” Eirene cleared her throat. “Well, it was built to Mother’s specifications and she did organize the space, however, the room itself is new. A few months ago, this room was filled with tools and metal. Just to the other side of the wall, lies the smithy.” Eirene pointed to the wall on which the fireplace was placed. “Truly? Your mother is a genius to place this room just here.” “Not Mother. It was Eaduin who ordered this room built. My mother had been perfectly happy with a small shelter out in the garden, but my brother said it wasn’t 88

Seeking Truth

enough. She served the entire castle and needed a space to allow her to work as she should. He made the room available, asking her to create it as she wished and to spare no expense. My brother is determined to be a far better lord than our father was.” Vérité studied the room. She hadn’t noticed at first there were windows with wood shutters that let in light. The more she looked, the more she realized how perfectly suited the room was to her and the tasks to which she hoped to put it. “Your mother made good use of what was given.” “She did, but she knew full well it wasn’t for herself she created this workroom.” Vérité shook her head. “She knew it was for me?” “I believe so. At least twice I heard her mutter the word Vérité while she worked. She expected you here.” Vérité felt inordinately humbled by the knowledge. She must not disappoint Judith…or Eaduin. “I must become familiar with the space and settle it to my liking.” She unpacked some of the herbs she’d picked. Vérité pulled the stems of mugwort out of her basket, tying them together. When she looked up she found Eirene frowning at the plants in her hands as if they were evil. “Is there anything wrong?” “Yea. Has Mother explained to you about mugwort?” “She instructed me in its use when I was at the abbey.” “But what about Eaduin?” “Eaduin? I don’t understand.” Vérité hung the plants up then pulled out the next plants lying in her basket. “You must never give Eaduin mugwort.” “Why on earth not? It is good for fever and stomach ailments.” “He can’t bear it. When he was little, he was given a mugwort tea and almost died. Several times through the years he’s gotten some food or beer seasoned with mugwort and been gravely sick. You’d best ask Mother about it. She knows how to treat him should he take ill.” “I will. Thank you for telling me.” Vérité bit her lip, taking down the mugwort and rehanging it far to one side of the drying rack well away from the other herbs. She had never heard of anyone unable to bear mugwort before, though she’d seen such reactions to other herbs. “I will leave you for now. I’ll pass the word you are here, so if you are needed all may find you.” “Thank you, Eirene. Thank you also for telling me the truth of this place.” Eirene smiled. “I am pleased you are here, and not just because my mother needs you. My brother needs you too.” She quietly let herself out. Vérité took a deep breath. Eaduin needed her. She should be grateful for it, but she wanted more. Sighing, she returned to sorting the herbs she collected, tying them neatly

89

Francesca Hawley

into bundles so they could dry. Why did she want more than she could reasonably have? It was foolish in the extreme. She might be fortunate. One day he might truly care for her and at least for now he desired her. She paused in her work, staring at the stone wall. However much she tried, she couldn’t deny how deeply she desired him. Taking him into her body had altered her in some fundamental way. No longer was his touch something she dreamed about…something she imagined in the dark of the night. Last night had made reality of her dreams. She belonged to him in a way she couldn’t explain, even to herself. “You fool! Wishful thinking!” She looked around, worried her whisper might have been heard, but only she stood in the quiet of the workroom. Vérité tied the newly harvested herb bundles to the drying rack, checking on the state of some of the items currently placed there. Vérité worked for some time, making medicines to be stored and taking stock of which herbs were stored where, and which needed to be replenished. A knock on the door brought her back to the present. “Come in.” The door swung inward and Eaduin slipped into the room. “I’m sorry to interrupt.” “Is it Judith? Does she need me?” “Nay, she is still sleeping. She hasn’t slept so well in weeks.” He dipped his head, rubbing the back of his neck, a crooked smile on his face. “I just wish to…thank you.” “I was glad to help.” Vérité smiled at him. “It has done her a world of good.” “And you, I think.” He laughed, shrugging. Vérité shifted her shoulders, surprised to find them sore from her work. Eaduin frowned slightly, watching her try to rub her own shoulders. “Let me.” He crossed to her, settling his hands on her to gently massage the tight muscles. She groaned as his fingers pressed into her. “Ah…lovely. Thank you.” Vérité relaxed, allowing her head to fall back to fully enjoy the sure movement of his fingers against her. They were truly magical. He chuckled. “You purr like a cat.” “If you pet me, you must expect me to purr.” “Perhaps I should pet you more thoroughly then.” Eaduin leaned close, pressing warm lips against the skin of her neck. He slowly turned her so she looked up at him. Hunger filled his face and without thought, she reached for him, standing on tiptoe to reach his mouth with hers. He growled, pulling her into his arms before covering her mouth with his. Vérité opened to him, shivering as his tongue slipped inside to tantalize her. As she tasted a hint of mint, she sighed, dimly aware he’d cleaned his mouth before looking for her this morning.

90

Seeking Truth

She groaned when he grasped her bottom to lift her onto a nearby table, then he stepped between her parted thighs, pushing her dress up to her waist. His fingers slid into her, teasing her while his kisses stole her breath away. “Eaduin. Oh please…” She spread herself open for him, lifting her hips as he stroked into her sheath. “So tight yet so ready for me.” His thumb stroked over her core, tormenting the swollen bud of her arousal. “Yea, Eaduin. Take me!” “I’ll fuck you, my lady. Fuck you until you scream with need.” She whimpered, reveling in his strong words. His guttural, graphic language excited her as nothing else she had ever heard. Vérité rolled her hips against him, ready for him to enter her. Last night she had felt fear, but not today. Never had she considered she could be so hungry to be possessed by a man. She scrambled under the skirts of his bliaut, hunting for the ties to his trews. She wanted, nay…needed him inside her. Filling her. Finally finding the strings, she started to untie them, freezing as someone pounded on the wooden door of the workroom. “Damn,” he growled, fingers stilling inside her clasping passage. “Answer.” “But what if they come in?” “Shit.” As he eased his fingers out of her, she buried her face in his shoulder so her mewl of despair didn’t carry outside the room. Reluctantly, she moved her hands from his body as he did the same, slowly pulling her gown down and sliding her onto the floor. “Yea,” she called. Smoothing her gown, she took several steps away from Eaduin, who strode over to stare into the coals of the low fire, his hands holding tight to the wood mantle. When the door opened, Isolda stepped inside. She looked from Vérité to her father and back, a curiously satisfied expression on her face. Vérité held back a frown with difficulty. Somehow Isolda knew what had almost happened. The little wretch! “Lady Vérité, I hope I’m not interrupting.” The glow around Isolda flickered, obviously showing the lie only too clearly. “How may I help you? Has Judith awakened?” Isolda lifted her head, smiling slightly. “Yea. She is not in pain but she asks for you.” Again a blatant lie showed in the flare of her aura. Was Judith in pain, or was she not even awake? She glanced at Eaduin, whose face reflected concern and a trace of fear. Only by visiting Judith would she be able to discover exactly which lie Isolda had spoken. She should challenge Isolda, but she couldn’t bear to see the lines of worry etched into Eaduin’s forehead, so she didn’t. “I will go to see her to make sure she is well. Thank you for telling me of her need.”

91

Francesca Hawley

Isolda nodded, unable to hide a smile until she glanced at her father. A hint of guilt passed over her face as she saw Eaduin’s distress. “Truly, she is not in pain at this moment, Father.” She spoke truth this time. Vérité took a deep breath, picking up her medical bag. “I will attend to her and make sure she is comfortable.” She met his dark eyes, smiling softly. His face lightened and he nodded. Striding to the door, she paused when Eaduin spoke. “Remember, I promised you a tour of the castle and our environs, but I must practice with my squires this morning. Will you be free after the midday meal?” Vérité smiled. “I will make myself available. Thank you.” She turned to look at her new stepdaughter, meeting the dark eyes, which were filled with pleasure. “Good morrow to you, Lady Isolda.” “Good morrow, Lady Vérité.” Isolda blinked, tensing slightly as she realized Vérité recognized the interruption for what it was. Vérité shook her head slightly, quitting the workroom and closing the door firmly behind her. Isolda may have made peace with her father, but she was still at war with her father’s new wife.

92

Seeking Truth

Chapter Thirteen Eaduin crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the stone wall beside the fireplace to contemplate his daughter. He knew it had been her intention to interrupt, but to point it out would only embarrass them both. She met his eyes…at first. After only a few minutes, however, she could no longer hold his gaze. Dropping her eyes to his boots, a flush filled her cheeks. She peeped up at him to find him still watching her so she looked away again. Her hands twisted together and she shifted from foot to foot. His daughter had never been a good liar and her marriage hadn’t changed her much. “So Judith called for Vérité, did she?” Her chin rose and she forced her eyes to his defiantly. “Nanna needed her.” Well, there was a non-answer if ever he’d heard one. “Did she indeed?” “Yea, Papa.” “I see. How fares your husband this morning?” Isolda blinked, her fingers tightening as she looked away. “I have not seen him.” “Six months married and already he is as comfortable as an old shoe?” “I love Crispin, Papa.” Her whisper was frightened and unhappy. “Yea, child, I believe you do, but it isn’t only a woman who appreciates knowing these things. Men do too.” “Truly?” “Truly.” She bit her lip. “Even if the man doesn’t love you back?” “You won’t know the answer if you ignore him, Isolda.” He hid a smile. Isolda’s husband loved her. In fact he adored her, but she didn’t know it. God knew she’d had no proper example to follow in her own home as she grew up. He hadn’t shown great affection for Elspeth, though their relationship was companionable. Osweald and Judith had an unpleasant relationship at best. “No I suppose not. I’d best go bid him good morrow, then.” “It might be wise.” She turned, at the door she paused. “Where will you be, Papa…should anyone need you?” “As I told Vérité, I must train my squires this morning.” “Yea, Papa.” She slipped out the door, quietly shutting it behind her. He could only hope she would focus her attentions on her husband instead of himself. He sighed, his cock aching with the need to slide into Vérité. She’d been so

93

Francesca Hawley

wet…tight. He closed his eyes and rubbed his face with his hands. He needed to fuck her. God’s teeth! He straightened then headed for the practice ground. Perhaps, some hard fighting would ease him since he’d been denied some hard fucking. Eaduin joined his knights, squires and men-at-arms on the practice field. Godwin was running the knights and men-at-arms through strength training while the squires fought one another with practice weapons under his careful watch. Eaduin’s squire ran over to him, assisting him to arm, before Eaduin joined Godwin. He smiled at his younger brother warmly. “You look better for the…ah…sleep, my lord.” Godwin grinned. “Do I? I think I could do with a bit more of it.” Eaduin responded. “Well, most of us could. My sleep was interrupted last night as well, you know. By the time I returned to my bed, sleep had escaped me.” “Had she? Ungrateful wench…” Godwin laughed. “I wouldn’t call her ungrateful. No indeed, for before dawn she revisited me…several times.” Eaduin shook his head. “No need to brag, Brother.” “I don’t brag. I merely savor.” Eaduin’s eye followed the squires as they battled one another. “The new one needs some encouragement. I think he is a bit frightened of the others.” “With good reason…the other boys are all twice his size,” Godwin countered before yelling instructions to the lads. “All the more reason to go forth boldly. Had I behaved so timidly, Father would have had me beaten bloody by one of his men-at-arms.” “I won’t be using Osweald as a model for knightly behavior any time soon.” Godwin remarked dryly before going out to provide more instruction. Eaduin grinned. Osweald Kempe wouldn’t have known chivalry if it had been explained to him in small words he could understand. “I would have to agree with Sir Godwin.” Theodric’s quiet voice startled him. Eaduin managed to refrain from jumping, but only just. “Still have a light step, don’t you?” Eaduin asked as he turned to the man who had been a brother to him at one time. “So Alec says,” Theo agreed laconically. Eaduin nodded. He turned his gaze back to the men-at-arms, deciding it would be best to leave Alec de Montfort out of this conversation. Eaduin, Theo and Alexander de Montfort had been squire brothers and as close as could be. But it was back before his father had forced a marriage between himself and Elspeth, and before Annys enticed Theo into her bed then cried rape. Alec had fancied himself in love with Elspeth and blamed Eaduin for stealing his love. Of course Alec married soon after himself, seemingly very happy. He had three lovely children as a result of the marriage, but old wounds never heal easily. Alec had 94

Seeking Truth

been only too willing to take Theo’s side when Osweald demanded Eaduin fight for his sister’s so-called honor. In one evening he’d lost all the closeness and family he had known in his life until Judith’s children attached themselves to him. The absence of his squire brothers from his life had nearly destroyed him. “Congratulations on your marriage, Eaduin. First you gained the fertile lands held by Elspeth’s family, and now you receive a large dowry from the de Sauigni family.” “My lady brings me her healing skills. A wondrous dowry indeed, but it has little to do with Petrus de Sauigni.” Theo’s brows rose, patent disbelief in his face. “Do you not know?” Eaduin turned slowly to Theo. “Not know what?” “Sibylla de Duglas, your lady’s mother was a wealthy woman and her father made sure all of her riches would go to her children alone. I understand your lady has a wealthy manor as part of her dowry. Word at court is that King Stephen had plans for Lady Vérité, so I’m sure your marriage will be quite a shock.” “No doubt.” Eaduin smiled, clenching his teeth tight behind his lips. The king wanted to decide who she would marry? God’s Blood, he was in deep trouble when word spread that this rich plum had been harvested. Damn it to hell, why hadn’t she told him? He could ill afford to enrage his king, not after his father set his support behind Empress Maud and secretly continued it right up until his death. Godwin joined them, clapping Eaduin on the shoulder. “Shall we test each other’s mettle, Brother?” “By all means.” Eaduin grinned. He needed release and this was a good way to find some outlet for his anger and physical frustration. Eaduin took several deep breaths, setting his anger away from him. In the midst of a fight, rage could kill. He needed to keep his anger cold and calculated in order to best his brother. Godwin was a fine fighter. Both took a battle stance, circling one another as they looked for an opening. Eaduin stepped inside Godwin’s range, aiming his practice weapon for his brother’s leg. Godwin saw the blow, countering it then taking the fight back to Eaduin. They continued to parry and feint, but because they fought one another so often they were unable to kill each other. Finally Eaduin decided to risk being “killed” himself to take Godwin out. He fell back, drawing Godwin forward. His brother lunged and at the fateful moment, Eaduin stepped to the side thrusting his practice blade solidly against Godwin’s midsection. Godwin bent double, cursing as his breath went out of him. Eaduin stepped back to allow his brother to get his breath, pulling his open-faced helm off his head and pushing his chain maille coif from his head to his shoulders. Godwin straightened, copying Eaduin’s actions. “We’d best not end up on opposite sides, Brother, for you’d be the death of me.” He cradled his helm in his arms, rubbing his belly with a wince.

95

Francesca Hawley

Eaduin grinned. “We are well matched, Godwin, for as surely as I’d be your death, you would be mine.” “Perhaps you will let me try my luck with you, Eaduin.” Eaduin stiffened at the silky question, turning to meet Theo’s gaze. He didn’t know what to make of the request, but he nodded agreement. Eaduin pulled up his coif, settling his helm back on his head. He took a defensive stance and watched Theo. Waiting. What was his old squire brother about? The look in Theo’s cold blue eyes was intense and Eaduin could tell Theo intended to fight full out to “kill” him if he could, despite the practice swords. They circled each other as if they were dancers—looking for weaknesses. They fought as they had years ago, making this dance eerily familiar to him. Eaduin was unable at first to look away from the scar on Theo’s left cheek. The scar Eaduin had put there the night his father ordered him to kill his cousin for Annys’ nonexistent honor. Theo’s blade flew and Eaduin just barely stepped out of its path. Forget the past. Focus on the battle at hand and not the battle then or he was a dead man. Now as in their youth, they were almost evenly matched. Both feinted, thrust and parried with skill. First Eaduin then Theo chased the other around the field. Both coming close but neither succeeding. From the corner of his eyes, he noted the growing crowd but ignored it. If he didn’t allow Theo to defeat him mentally, he could overcome him physically. He’d done it before, he would do it again. They fought fiercely, continuing to strike blows at one another, which were parried through great skill or sheer luck. Theo drove forward, throwing overhand shots. Switching hands, he rolled at Eaduin’s feet. Eaduin leaped over him, turning to take the fight back to Theo and driving him hard. As the minutes wore on, sweat dripped down Eaduin’s face under his helm. It had been some time since he’d fought so hard, but he enjoyed it. Needed it. Finally he saw an opening in Theo’s defenses. It might be a ruse to draw him in, but Eaduin thought not. He brought his weapon in to deliver a hard shot to the leg, knocking Theo’s feet out from under him with the force of the blow. “That’ll leave a bruise,” he commented as his former shield brother hit the ground. Eaduin followed it with a quick shot to the head. Theo groaned. “I yield.” Eaduin nodded, backing off. “I accept.” He stepped forward to offer Theo his hand to stand, which was accepted. Theo rose to his feet slowly, shaking his head to get his wits back, finally meeting his gaze. “Well fought, Eaduin.” “And you, Cousin. Well fought indeed.” Theo started at the recognition of their relationship. Eaduin knew Theo hadn’t acknowledged the de Norclif name since the night his father disowned him for supposedly raping Annys. The same night Osweald had ordered Eaduin to kill his own

96

Seeking Truth

cousin or die at his father’s hand. It was only the presence of King Henry that prevented Eaduin from being dead on his wedding day some eighteen years ago. His gaze moved to the now-large crowd that lined the practice ground. Vérité stood—her hand over her mouth with fear in her eyes until she met his regard. She took a deep breath, smiling tentatively. He growled. Damn it to hell, why hadn’t she told him about her dowry? “Pray excuse me, Theo. My lady looks concerned for my wellbeing.” Theo smiled dryly. “Does she? How fortunate you are. Please take your leave to reassure her of your continued good health.” Eaduin nodded his goodbye to Theo then strode to Vérité and caught her hand. He dragged her down the steps, heading for the nearest entry to the castle proper. She ran to keep up with him, but he found he didn’t really care. The last thing he needed in his life right now was an angry King Stephen, but her omission regarding her dowry left him wide open to the king’s displeasure. Eaduin pulled her to his steward’s office, throwing the door open. His startled steward jumped to his feet, only relaxing when Eaduin ordered the man to go find some food. His steward took note of the look on his face, bowed and left as if the hounds of hell were at his heels. Eaduin pushed Vérité into the room, slamming the door after him then leaned against it. He held tight to the handle lest he take his bewildered wife over his knee and spank her delectable arse. “Well?” “Well, what, Eaduin? I have no idea what has put you in such a taking. Judith was sleeping when I checked on her but a few minutes ago.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” “Tell you? Tell you what?” Her face paled and she swayed slightly. Eaduin frowned. She definitely knew and she hadn’t told him. Damn her. “Don’t play the fool, woman. Your dowry.” She shook her head, color coming back into her face. “My what? What are you talking about, Eaduin? You’re not making sense.” “I’m making perfect sense. You have a rich dowry. A dowry the king planned to present to one of his favorites, unless I’m much mistaken.” “I do not have a rich dowry. Granted, my mother left me some goods. I don’t really know how much. Mother Anne still has it in keeping for me at the abbey, but you are most welcome to inventory it when she brings it if it concerns you so.” “Goods hold no interest for me. Nay, there is a manor involved, or so I’m informed.” “Who informed you?” “Sir Theodric Ironhand, the man I just fought out on the field. He and Alec are wellplaced with the king, so he’d know if King Stephen had plans for you. Plans our marriage has ruined. An unhappy king is the last thing I need.” 97

Francesca Hawley

She shook her head, beginning to pace. “He must be wrong. He has to be. Father told me I was worthless to him alive.” “Perhaps you are worthless to him while you live because he can make no claim on your dowry.” “That may be for I assure you I hold no illusions about my father’s deep and abiding love for me.” Vérité lifted her hands in appeal. “The only reason I still live is because Falc’ has some hold over our father.” Eaduin studied her face, her expression, her stance. Slowly he relaxed and, as he relaxed, so did she. She wasn’t lying to him. She was as ignorant of her value as he had been. “Whether you accept it or not, I believe what Theo told me. He was thrilled to impart bad news.” “But why would Father keep it from me and further, why decide to grant permission for you to marry me if you happened to locate me? I don’t understand what game is being played, and is it only my father who is involved?” After their adventures in bed last night, Eaduin knew Vérité couldn’t lie to save her life. She spoke the truth. Somehow she had no more knowledge of her dowry than he had. But why? “Is it possible your father worried you would demand to be released from the abbey?” “I would have. Father’s behavior is so strange. In granting you permission to wed me, he guaranteed I would be released from my prison, gifting me with my deepest wish. Was he hoping I would find marriage to you even less palatable than my life in the abbey?” Eaduin feigned uncertainty. “It may be.” It made sense. Rumors had circulated widely at court about his preferences in bed. Even greedy fathers were reluctant to pursue him as a husband for their daughters due to his strong lustiness. Petrus must enjoy the idea his daughter would loathe sharing Eaduin’s bed. The bastard. “I wish Falc’ were here. I know my brother has the answer to this mystery. He understands how Father’s mind works far better than I ever did.” She scowled at the wall, her arms across her chest, deep in thought. “Where is he?” “With the king of course. He and King Stephen are friends.” “Friends? Good friends?” “Yea.” “You might have mentioned it before,” Eaduin growled. “I did.” “You did not. I assure you I would have remembered.”

98

Seeking Truth

“Oh. I’m sorry.” She looked as confused as he felt. “I thought you knew. The way you said his name when I spoke of him…it seemed familiar to you.” “He’s a well-known fighter. I know the king favors him, but I was not aware he was at court, or that he and the king were particularly close. Because of my sire, I’ve avoided visiting court since my marriage.” “Oh, I see. Falc’ has been at court since he was knighted ten years ago when the king chose him as part of his personal guard.” “Ten years? Falc’ fought for the king in the battle against Empress Maud?” “Yea. He’s been at the king’s side throughout most of the war. When the king was captured, Falc’ was badly wounded and left for dead while defending him.” “Good God,” Eaduin breathed, closing his eyes. This was very bad, or very good, but he had no idea which. Vérité approached him, setting a hand on his arm tentatively. “Eaduin, what is wrong?” “When word of our marriage spreads, and it will spread, we will draw the attention of the Crown to us.” “Oh my.” Vérité’s eyes widened in realization of what his words might mean. “The king might call you to court?” “There is no might, Vérité. He will call for me.” “To offer congratulations?” “I think it doubtful. He will be quite angry I married you without permission.” “But you had my father’s permission.” “I have the impression your father’s voice matters little to the king in this affair, especially in light of your brother’s opinion of him.” “Which is probably why Father gave permission…he wanted to turn the king’s eye, and his wrath, onto you. The wretched little worm!” Vérité looked truly horrified then she threw herself into his arms. Surprised, Eaduin wrapped his arms around her. “I’m so sorry, Eaduin. Truly. Had I known…realized…I would have stayed at the abbey. I would not have endangered you.” “Don’t think on it, I am glad you are here. You are needed.” Eaduin smiled, rubbing her back soothingly. She stiffened, stepping away from him. “I can help Judith, of course. I understand.” Eaduin cocked his head as she withdrew, feeling strangely bereft of her warmth. “Your healing skills are certainly important to me, I won’t lie to you. However, there is more to you than your ability to ease the pain of others.” She lifted her chin. “Is there?” “Yea, Vérité. I have been alone for many years now. I didn’t have to remarry yet for some reason I knew you would suit me.” Eaduin slowly stalked after his retreating

99

Francesca Hawley

wife. When she backed herself against the steward’s large desk, Eaduin pressed against her. “I knew you would suit me and last night proved me right.” Vérité licked her lips as she stared up at him. “How did last night prove you right?” “Your screams. Your moans. The way you arched under my touch. You wanted what I can give. You still do, don’t you?” She shivered. “Yea.” “Take off your clothes, Vérité.” She blinked. “Here?” “Yea.” Eaduin rounded the desk, seating himself in the steward’s chair then he leaned back. “Right here. Right now. Take off your clothes…all of them.”

100

Seeking Truth

Chapter Fourteen Vérité turned to face him where he sat on the other side of the desk in all of his arrogant beauty. The throbbing between her thighs was like a drum beat. This was so wrong. When in the heat of passion, Vérité could do whatever he wished of her. It aroused her to imagine him pleasuring her as he had when he had pulled her to him and pushed up her dress, lusting for her as he had been in the stillroom. This morning, she had been only too ready to submit to his will, but now all was different. To undress before him in the full light of day… It felt sinful. “Do you not want to undress me?” Slowly she rounded the desk, stopping in front of him. His dark eyes swept from her feet slowly up her body until settling on her face. “I want to watch you bare yourself to me.” She swallowed. His eyes were alight with hunger, but his face was guarded. The glow around him showed only desire. Vérité couldn’t tell what motivated him, and it both thrilled and frightened her. Eaduin lifted his hand, crooking his finger to bid her nearer. She walked forward until her skirts brushed against his mailled legs. He spread his thighs, urging her yet closer. She stepped between his legs, mesmerized before his need, licking her lips. “I’m glad you left your hair on display for me today. Take off your veil and circlet.” She reached up and removed both items, setting them on the table. “Let down your hair.” His raspy voice showed as much as his hungry expression how excited he was by the game they now played. Vérité loosened the braid until her hair fell to her waist in waves. “Beautiful. Now take off your girdle.” His eyes held hers captive as she reached for the belt encircling her waist. Slowly she unfastened it, allowing it to slide through her fingers to the floor. He smiled, shifting in his chair, his stare swept from her skirts to her hair and back again. “Now the kirtle, Vérité. Remove it.” She bit her lip. Her nipples were peaked beneath her clothes and her body ached with excitement. He pointed at her dress when she hesitated, so she slowly pulled the garment up and over her head. She didn’t want to throw it on the ground so she walked over to place it on a nearby table. “Take off the underdress while you stand there.” She started to turn around to face him. “Nay. I want to see the back of you.” Facing the wall, she felt his eyes tracing the curves of her body. Shivering, Vérité could barely withhold a moan as she shimmied to remove the tight underdress. When the dress was off, she closed her eyes, imagining what he saw. Her shift was a fine, light 101

Francesca Hawley

linen—barely there—so her body was outlined beneath the sheer white fabric, almost glowing in the low light of the room. His gaze caressed her shoulders, her rounded bottom and her curved thighs. The sinful feelings surging through her body were delicious, dangerous, even depraved. She gasped as she waited for his next order. “Turn around.” Slowly she obeyed, presenting her body for his inspection and enjoyment. His gaze traveled from her face, to her full breasts, over her rounded belly, coming to a full stop at the triangle between her thighs. A fine film of sweat again covered him. He’d been damp from the fight when they had first entered the room, but in the ensuing discussion his skin had dried. His arousal had moistened it again. He sat up in his chair, leaning forward to see her better. “Come to me, Vérité.” His face was tight with lust. She knew she shouldn’t revel in it, yet she did. To know a man as well-favored as Eaduin wanted her with such fierce hunger excited her. Made her feel…desirable. Her hips swayed as she walked slowly across the room coming to a stop in front of him. He leaned back again, opening his legs, beckoning her close to him. Vérité walked confidently between his spread thighs. Her breaths were short and loud in the stillroom. She licked her lips, watching him pull off his leather gloves and toss them to the floor beside his chair. He lifted his hands to trace his fingertips over her pointed nipples. She thrust her breasts toward him with a moan. He pulled on the tight peaks, pinching them between thumb and forefingers. Vérité whimpered. “So sensitive.” He tugged at her nipples again, making her roll her hips in an attempt to create needed friction to increase her pleasure. Eaduin chuckled. Lunging forward, he encircled her waist to draw her against him, sucking a nipple through the linen. “Climb onto my lap.” Vérité looked down at the chain maille covering him, caught between need and nerves. “But…” He lifted her off her feet, settling her over him. When the maille pinched her backside and the insides of her thighs, she jumped then Eaduin sucked her nipple back into his mouth. Suddenly the pinching of the maille on her skin added another sensation to stimulate her. Vérité set her hands on his shoulders to provide balance, enjoying the way his mouth pulled on her and the way his maille bit into her buttocks. Her legs were spread wide affording him easy access of which he took full advantage. One hand held her bottom while the other slid between her legs to reach into the swollen wet folds of her sex. She arched as a long finger slid inside her tight sheath, quivering when his mouth moved to her neck and his warm breath tickled her earlobe. Vérité clamped down on him as he started to withdraw his finger, arching her hips in wordless request. He couldn’t leave her—she needed to be filled with him. Fingers returned, this time he filled her with three instead of one, slowly parting them to stretch her when he

102

Seeking Truth

advanced completely inside. His thumb found the bud nestled at the top of her slit and he pressed hard before circling it, teasing the quivering nub. “You enjoy the way my fingers take your cunt, don’t you?” “Yea, Eaduin.” She thrust forward, jerking when the maille covering his legs nipped at her. The repeated bites excited rather than pained her, so she continued to move against his questing fingers. It felt so dangerously good. Would the bite of the maille on her nipples enhance her desire too? She opened her eyes to meet Eaduin’s dark gaze. She rode his hand, twitching as the chain maille continued to taunt her whenever she moved. His smile widened. “Every time you feel the bite of pain you get wetter, Vérité.” He deepened the thrusts of his fingers, forcing her to ride his fingers faster and faster. “Do I?” She gasped. She was so close now. Only a bit more and she would shatter. “Oh yea, my lady. You do.” His hand danced merrily inside her body, deeper and faster. “Ride my hand. That’s it. Do you enjoy the way it fucks you, Vérité.” Oh God in Heaven, the rasp of his voice. The forceful language. It was base. She was debased, but she couldn’t stop herself. “Do you want me to stop fucking you with my fingers?” “Nay. Please don’t stop…” “Then answer when I ask you a question, lady wife.” “Yea, my lord.” “Good girl.” He stabbed into her, his thumb circling her bud. Tormenting her until she could barely breathe. “More. Eaduin, please more!” She was so painfully close. Just a little deeper. A little harder. “Pull off your shift.” Vérité grasped the fabric and drew it over her head as she bounced on his lap trying to force more of his hand into her body. She tossed it across the room, uncaring where it landed. Cupping her breasts, she tugged on her nipples as Eaduin had done. “Offer them to me,” he growled. Vérité lifted her breasts, thrusting them toward his mouth while his hand continued its work between her thighs. Each bounce on his lap drew more tiny bites into her flesh while his fingers pounded in and out of her. She would go mad if he didn’t do more. “Eaduin, suck them. Bite them. Please.” “Bite them?” “Yea! Oh have mercy, yea!” He sucked her into his mouth, biting down on the tight nipple. Finally it was enough. She screamed, holding his head to her breast as she drove onto his hand. Her body racked with shudders, jerking as he drew out her pleasure. He bit first one nipple 103

Francesca Hawley

then the other, his slick hand pressing deep inside her to draw more sensation from her. When he didn’t stop, she threw back her head, arching her breasts farther into his mouth. His teeth bit sharply while his fingers continued the pressure, making her whimper as more tremors rolled through her. It was so good. He slowed his hand but didn’t stop thrusting completely. She lifted her head, meeting Eaduin’s eyes as his fingers continued a slow caress between her trembling thighs. He wasn’t finished. She could see it not only on his face but in the vivid red aura that flared around him. He wanted to fill her with more than his hand. God help her, she wanted it too. Eaduin released her nipple from his mouth to lift her onto the steward’s desk, knocking aside scrolls and books to lay her on it. He took her open mouth with his and pressed against her, thrusting his pelvis between her parted thighs. Suddenly she felt a hundred or more tiny bites on her flesh. Her nipples, her belly, her thighs, even the swollen folds of cunt were under attack by his chain maille. It felt so good. Why did it feel good? It shouldn’t be pleasurable. This was wrong! Still, she couldn’t stop from arching upward to wrap her thighs around his waist, straining to press her sex more forcefully against his body. She rubbed her breasts against the maille covering his chest, moaning helplessly as it squeezed her nipples. The pain went straight to the nub in her core, increasing the pulsing there until she mewled, another release rolling through her. “Yea, Vérité. Yea.” He licked and sucked at her neck and breasts, reaching for his chausses to release his cock so he could invade her body. He lifted the maille tunic to his waist and untied the leather thongs that hung from his waist to keep the front of his armor leggings in place. Just as he went for his trews there was a pounding on the door. “Nay. Oh God in Heaven, nay,” Vérité breathed as she stared up into Eaduin’s dazed and lust-filled face. “We’ll ignore it,” he growled. He started to untie his trews but was again interrupted by banging. “If it is Isolda, I will be committing infanticide.” “Perhaps it isn’t.” But somehow Vérité knew it was his daughter. Who else would dare disturb Eaduin after his face had been so grim earlier? “Papa. Are you in there?” “As if she didn’t know.” Vérité moaned softly. Eaduin groaned, surveying Vérité’s damp body, disappointment in every line of his face. “I must kill that child.” She chuckled sadly, running her fingers over his cheek. “No, you mustn’t.” “My father wanted me to when she was born.” He shook his head as the pounding on the door continued. “You knew then it was wrong and you know it now.”

104

Seeking Truth

“I do, but I’m still tempted to do her an injury. I’ll be in pain the rest of the damn day!” Slowly, he lifted off her to stare at her pale skin, fingers tracing some of the small pink marks left by his maille. He licked his lips. “We haven’t finished this, lady wife.” Vérité sat up, staring in his dark, hungry eyes. “I look forward to more, my lord.” “And I look forward to giving it to you. I’ll go out and order Isolda to the great hall. It must nearly be time for the noonday meal.” “I believe so.” “Dress and follow.” “If she comes about Judith?” “She doesn’t. Someone else would have been sent if Judith was in need.” He checked himself making sure his hard cock was covered by his trews then retied the thongs that held up his maille chausses and adjusted his tunic. He gave her one last look then strode to the door. He paused and faced her again. “You’ll come soon?” Vérité grinned. “I just did.” He threw back his head, laughter breaking over him like a wave. She loved seeing him so carefree because it was so rare. “Join me at the head table, my lady.” “I will, Eaduin.” “This afternoon I will give you the tour I promised.” He eased open the door and slipped out, closing it behind him. Vérité put her head in her hands. She ached with longing. Was she wicked for wanting even more from him? She wanted more attention. More sensation. More affection. Yea, she even wanted more pain. What was wrong with her? Sister Berthe had beaten her, and more than once, but never had Vérité enjoyed the horrid nun’s abuse of her. So why did she crave pleasure mixed with pain from Eaduin? She didn’t understand any of it. She stood, locating her shift to pull it on. Whether she comprehended the strange pleasures she derived from Eaduin or not, she knew she had no hope of withdrawing. No hope and no wish. Vérité wanted to experience whatever Eaduin might want to share with her as often as he wished to share it. She shivered. May God permit their next intimate encounter to happen soon.

105

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Fifteen Vérité eased open the door from the steward’s office to the hall, peering out into the corridor. She pressed her forehead to the door with a sigh. She was alone, the hall, deserted. Since she had no idea where she was in relation to the rest of the castle, she decided to retrace her steps until she located an area of the keep she knew. At the end of the corridor, Vérité emerged into the courtyard. Yes, this was where Eaduin had fought so she was in the right place. Now where had she been when he dragged her away? The outer stairs. She looked upward and located them then skirted the courtyard where squires scrambled about picking up weapons and armor, and apprentices ran from the keep to the smithy going about their duties. She mounted the outer stairs that led to the second floor. At the top, she opened the door and slipped into the upper hall. Midday meal approached, so the empty corridor assured her the castle’s inhabitants must have made their way to the great hall. Vérité relaxed when she closed their chamber door behind her. She knew she smelled of sex. Pungent with the scent of the pleasure Eaduin had given her. If she bathed then perhaps everyone would not know her lord had dragged her off to make use of her during daylight hours. Or had she made use of him, she wondered? After all, it was she who had achieved release but he had not. Damn Isolda anyway. Why could the girl not let them be? Vérité filled the bowl with fresh water from the pitcher on their wash basin before adding a drop of lavender oil. She laved her face, under her arms and between her legs. It felt good to be clean, no longer sticky from sweat and the moisture of her climax. But it pleased her more to be certain others wouldn’t immediately know what she’d done with her husband. She stared into the polished steel mirror that hung upon the wall behind the basin and bit her lip. Washing might remove the smell, but it couldn’t hide the truth revealed in the mirror. Was she evil for enjoying what had passed between them? She didn’t feel evil, yet she knew such things were not sanctioned by the Church. They should join only to produce children and to be unclothed was considered sin. Yet she was obeying her husband, wasn’t she? Surely her obedience couldn’t be wrong when it felt so very right. So very good… She groaned, pounding her fists on the table. Action. Enough thinking. She would go to Judith to check on her. If discussion of the marriage bed came up, well, then perhaps Judith might answer a question or two.

*****

106

Seeking Truth

“I believe you’ve had a busy time of it this morning, lass.” Vérité swallowed when Judith set down her stitching to study her. Her face heated as Judith noted her kiss-swollen lips and beard-roughened cheeks with a half smile on her face. Vérité looked down at her gown to make sure the little pink dots that covered her body from the pinch of Eaduin’s maille were well covered. Yet somehow she was sure Judith sensed their presence. “I have. I attended Mass, harvested herbs and helped you bathe.” “Yet, I doubt any of those activities left behind the beard burn you wear.” Vérité opened then closed her mouth when nothing came out. She rubbed her face then sat beside Judith. She was glad Bronwen had left to arrange for midday meal to be brought. “I spoke with Eaduin a short while ago,” Vérité muttered. “Spoke with him? It must have been a vastly interesting conversation.” Vérité shrugged, clutching the blanket in her hands. She looked up when Judith covered her hands. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Vérité. You bedded your husband.” “It wasn’t in a bed.” Judith laughed. “I’d be highly surprised if it was. My lad has always been ready to play if he found a willing woman. I’m glad the two of you are getting on well together.” “It’s wrong.” “Why in Heaven would you say that?” “Because it should only happen in bed. In the dark. Briefly. In order to get children. The Church says so.” Judith sighed and shook her head. “I revere God, yet the rule of the Church in this regard is over stringent in my view.” “Why?” “Because if God sanctifies marriage then what passes between a husband and wife is blessed by God, as well. It is not for man to decide how affection should be expressed. To do so is presumptuous. Affection between husband and wife is God’s will.” “Even if it is…out of the ordinary.” “It is far better for their affection to be out of the ordinary. When a husband and wife are happy, they are unlikely to commit the sin of adultery.” Vérité nodded with relief. Judith might not be a holy woman, yet she trusted her beyond measure. “It is definitely extraordinary.” “Good.” “But…” “Yea?” “He… We… Oh, I can’t say it.”

107

Francesca Hawley

“Lass, think of me as a mother in this.” Vérité blinked her eyes as they filled with tears. “Mother?” Judith smiled, cupping her cheek. “Yea. You are a good child and I want you to be happy. What troubles you so?” “Eaduin…” She bit her lip, but Judith waited patiently. “There was some pain.” “I’m sorry, lass. He’s not usually so inept with a woman.” “I mean. It felt good. But it shouldn’t. Should it?” “Pain felt good? Because he was large, you mean?” “Nay. Oh never mind.” Vérité stood up and went to her bag of medicines, busying herself with the herbs within. She measured out ingredients for Judith’s afternoon dose. “Child, come back here. You have questions and I would answer them.” Reluctantly after she finished with the herbs, Vérité returned to Judith’s side and sat again. How did she explain it when she didn’t understand herself? “Just speak.” “He wore his chain maille.” “Goodness, he was in that much of a hurry?” “Not really.” Judith raised her brows and waited. Vérité dipped her head. “The maille pinched.” “Then ask him to take it off next time.” “But I didn’t want him to. I enjoyed it,” she blurted then she covered her hot face with her hands. “I begin to understand. The pain increased the pleasure.” “Yea,” she whispered. “Your reaction pleased him?” “I think so.” “If I know my boy, and I do, the answer is yea, you pleased him.” “I don’t want people to cause me pain.” “He would stop immediately if you told him to, would he not?” “I know he would.” “Then this isn’t Sister Berthe beating you or your father abusing you. This is two people discovering pleasure together.” Judith brushed her fingers against Vérité’s cheek. “Child, God makes each of us differently so the world is full of infinite variety. This pleases Him. Sometimes He makes sure the people who fit together find one another as He did with you and Eaduin. Thank Him for it and don’t question the miracle God has granted you both.” “You think it is all right?” “I do. And, I think if you quit worrying what’s wrong with you, you will too.”

108

Seeking Truth

Vérité smiled, thinking of experiencing more of Eaduin’s attentions. She looked forward to it. Wanted it. Moreover, she needed it. “It is most pleasing.” Judith laughed. “I’ve no doubt of it. He prides himself on his bedding skills.” “Am I just another…” “You are his wife. Only one other woman has ever been able to make such a claim and none but you will ever make it again. Your relationship with Eaduin is singular.” “Good.” “Then revel in the pleasure you share. The surest way to capture him is to enjoy him and to love him utterly, for there have been few enough people who have. He needs you as much as you need him.” Judith patted her hand. “I pray you are right.” “I am. Now Eirene visited me earlier and told me about your talk in the garden. Go over to the table across the room. You’ll find a bottle there. Take it up and bring it to me.” Vérité fetched the bottle and handed it to Judith, curious as to the contents. “Eirene told you Eaduin can’t abide mugwort?” “Yea.” “Good. It is very important for you to understand. Mugwort could kill him.” “How?” “He reacts poorly to it. I know not why, but it has always been so. His lady mother Ameline had the same condition as did her father before her.” “Does Isolda share this?” “She does. Ameline’s entire family has suffered from it. When her older brother Hugo went on Crusade, he ate or drank something with mugwort in it.” “He died there?” “Nay, for a healer saw his condition and recognized it. He was treated with an herb from the Far East, which eased the symptoms of the reaction. After he recovered, he asked for a plant to bring home with him and the ingredients of the restorative.” “They gave it to him?” “Nay, not until he saved a potentate’s son from death. The man arranged for Lord Hugo de Perier to bring back an ephedra plant and the receipt for making a restorative. Hugo guarded the plant with his life on the trip back and it has flourished on the family estate in Normandy. When Ameline married, they sent a plant with her and we have great mounds of it growing. It is a strong plant that can be as dangerous as the condition itself. Isolda shares the antipathy, so she was given a plant to take with her to de Montfort castle.” “Does the herb only help those who suffer mugwort poisoning?” “Nay. It addresses symptoms rather than the condition itself. As you might have children who suffer from the reaction, you must pay strict attention to them.” 109

Francesca Hawley

“How would I test them?” “If Eaduin rubs against a mugwort plant the reactions manifest immediately. If mugwort is in bloom and he walks nearby, his eyes tear up and he begins to have trouble breathing. In its mildest form, it is merely a runny nose and sneezing. The worse the exposure the more severe the reaction.” “So if he ingests it…” “He could die, yea.” “And an herb oil?” “Mugwort oil would kill him without treatment. This oil,” Judith held up the bottle, “is the curative. It reduces swelling in the mouth and eases breathing. Use the stems and roots to make the oil.” Vérité took the bottle. “Is it useful for other things?” “It reduces fevers and when Mistress Sara was stung by a bee, it eased her reaction as well. But as with all herbs, it can be dangerous if misused. I’ve made notes on all my receipts in a book that I keep in the stillroom. You’ll find it if you move a large stone in the wall to the left of the fireplace.” Vérité looked up with a frown. “You hide your book?” “Yea. There are people who would seek to steal it or make poor use of what is contained within. Also, there are some who would claim it to be a spell book, which it is not.” “I understand.” “Good.” They heard a tapping at the door. “Now I think Bronwen has returned with the midday meal. If you could aid her with the door.” Vérité opened the door and together they settled Judith with her food. Vérité shared a smile with Bronwen. “I hope you didn’t carry this upstairs yourself,” Vérité chided. “Nay. Godwin spotted me and carried to the top of the stairs for me then he went to wash up before the meal.” “He probably stinks of rust.” Judith sniffed. “He always does when he’s been fighting.” “And sweat,” Vérité murmured, thinking of how Eaduin smelled earlier. Judith smiled at her. “I hope I’ve answered all your questions, lass.” “You have.” Vérité blushed. “All of them. Thank you for your help.” “You’re welcome, child. I will see you later, no doubt. Remember to always carry the oil with you in case it is needed. Apply to his mouth a drop at a time if ever you need to use it and stop as soon as you see results.” “I will. I’d best go to the great hall.” “I’m sure Eaduin anxiously waits.” 110

Seeking Truth

Vérité blushed, glancing at Bronwen. “He waits, but perhaps not anxiously.” “My dear, when a man wants you, enjoy it. And I know my son wants you.” “I hope so.” “I know so. Oh, and have him come up to chat with me after the meal. It won’t take long, but I think he and I should speak again.” “I’ll tell him,” Vérité assured her, smiling when she noted Judith’s focus on her food. Judith dipped into her soup, smiling as she put a spoonful in her mouth. “Ah. Pure Heaven. My compliments to Master James.” “I’ll pass your words to him.” Just then her own belly rumbled a reminder. Time to eat…and break bread with Eaduin.

111

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Sixteen Eaduin paced in the great hall, glancing at Isolda where she sat shyly smiling at her young husband. When he’d left the steward’s office, he’d determined Judith wasn’t in need then set off for the armory to take off his maille and weapons. Isolda had been forced to run to keep up. His daughter’s attempts to engage him in conversation had failed for he’d been in no mood to converse. He still wasn’t. She was lucky she was no longer his to discipline, for he’d been sorely tempted to give her the spanking she so richly deserved but which at her age, he no longer felt comfortable administering. Spanking his daughter held no appeal, but his lady. Ah… He smiled slightly, contemplating his hand connecting with the full white flesh of Vérité’s arse. He shifted his stance as his cock stirred. Perhaps God the father was not so cruel to him as he’d originally thought, for Vérité enjoyed being dominated. Not only did his forcefulness arouse her but carefully applied pain increased her ardor. Eaduin didn’t derive pleasure from cruelty but he did enjoy administering some pain to enhance his lover’s pleasure. As he’d explored passion in the past years he had discovered there were women who enjoyed intense sensation. Intense sensation where pain was pleasure and pleasure was pain, and it seemed as though his lady was one such woman, God be praised. How far would she let him explore? He licked his lips, anticipating joining her in bed tonight. Should he tie her? Should he rouse her to fever pitch then warm her bottom with his hand? Should he pinch her nipples? Oh, the possibilities now open to him…to both of them. His cock ached, hard as the steel dagger at his belt as his mind ran riot with his imagination. Where the hell was she? He looked at the entrance to the hall before turning his gaze upward to the staircase that connected the upper levels of the castle to the great hall. He frowned as Vérité came into view, rushing down the steps. He strode over to the stairs, worried she might miss her footing. It was as well he anticipated her, for she flew from the bottom step off balance. He caught and steadied her, taking a deep breath. She smelled again of lavender. She must have gone upstairs to wash. Eaduin smiled. He’d washed too, but his wash basin had been the horse trough. “I’ve missed you my lady,” he murmured, brushing his lips against her brow. She blushed, her eyes flying up to his. “I’m sorry I was so clumsy. I went up to check on Judith after you left me and I realized I was late for the meal.” “I was more concerned for your health. You must be more careful for the steps can be treacherous.” “Yea, my lord.” She blushed as he continued to hold her close, his hands resting at the small of her back. 112

Seeking Truth

“You were with Judith?” Eaduin frowned. “Is she well?” “Yea. I gave her medication and she is now eating. Before we take our tour, she wishes to speak with you.” “Should I go up directly?” Eaduin pulled back, intending to leave. Vérité set her hand on his arm. “Nay, my lord. It takes her some time to eat. You will find her much improved today for she had a bath this morning and feels much more…human.” “Bathing? She’ll catch her death!” Vérité raised a brow at him. “Nothing can prevent it, Eaduin. She was feeling grimy and smelly but had no wish to complain.” Eaduin hung his head. “Damn, I should have realized.” She patted his arm. “How could you? You aren’t a woman. Women prefer to be clean. Men can be mucky for days on end without noticing.” He grinned at her. “I did wash after our…discussion.” She leaned toward him and sniffed. “So you did, my lord. You’re much more pleasingly scented now.” “I don’t recall you complaining earlier.” “Earlier, your ripe scent added to the immediacy of the situation. Had you not washed before the meal, however, the scent hanging about you now would be decidedly overripe.” “Heaven forbid!” He laughed, holding his arm out to her. “Shall we enjoy our meal, my lady?” “Yea, my lord. I believe I have built an appetite.” Vérité laid her arm on his. “As have I.” Eaduin escorted her to their place at the head table, seating her beside him before he took his accustomed chair. Servers brought scented water to the tables, allowing everyone to wash their hands before the meal. Eaduin watched as Vérité dabbed her fingers on the white towel before he did the same. The castle priest Father Michael rose to bless the assembly and the food they would soon receive then the food was brought into the room. Steaming platters were brought first to the head table. A trencher full of stew was laid before Eaduin and Vérité. Eaduin skewered a bite of turnip with his eating knife and popped it into his mouth, sighing with pleasure as it melted in his mouth. The vegetable was well done and seasoned to a turn. He nodded at the cooks who stood at the back of the hall, wringing their hands. Mistress Sarah smiled happily while Master James bellowed at the serving staff to feed the rest of the household before leaving the hall to return to his place in the kitchen to continue his preparation for the evening meal. Mistress Sarah remained to supervise. “I’ve not heard of a husband and wife jointly managing a kitchen before, Eaduin. What prompted it?”

113

Francesca Hawley

Eaduin smiled at his wife. “James is a dab hand at cooking main courses, meats, vegetables and such. His wife, Sarah, bakes like an angel and makes the most amazing pastries, breads and desserts. They rarely fight with one another because they enjoy different tasks. They work well together. We were most fortunate when Judith found them.” “Judith found them?” Vérité smiled, tearing off a piece of the bread and dipping it into the gravy. She beckoned a server to fill their glasses with ale as she ate. A drip of gravy ran onto her fingers so she licked the gravy off. Eaduin swallowed then looked down at the food. “She did. It was about eight years ago. James and Sarah were traveling because they were on the run from Empress Maud’s forces. James had been a touch too vocal to his lord about preferring Stephen, not knowing his lord supported Empress Maud. They arrived with little but the clothes on their backs. Judith found them and brought them to the castle.” Eaduin lifted his goblet, taking a pull of the full-bodied ale. It was Heaven. He would have to commend Master Nigel Brewer on the latest brew when they traveled to the village this afternoon. Vérité stared wide-eyed at his throat, swallowing hard. Eaduin reached up to see if he’d spilled ale on himself, but his hand found no liquid. She looked away abruptly, using her two-pronged fork to pick up a piece of tender meat, which she popped into her mouth. Eaduin could not tear his eyes from her mouth as her tongue snaked out to lick the tines of the fork. He shifted in his seat unable to prevent himself from remembering the way she’d licked his cock the night before. Vérité caught his glance. She blushed fiery red and then lay down her fork. “I’m sorry.” He blinked. “Whatever for?” “My unseemly fondness for my food.” Eaduin leaned back, fighting to cover his shock. “Why is being fond of food a bad thing?” She shrugged uncomfortably, staring at the trencher. “I’ve been told the way I eat is unladylike.” “Whoever told you so was a fool or a liar.” “Really?” Her eyes were wide with surprise and Eaduin couldn’t restrain a smile. “Yea, my lady. I enjoy watching you eat.” “Oh.” She smiled, lifting her goblet of ale to take a sip before setting it back onto the table. Eaduin reached for the trencher but met Vérité’s hands instead of food. She pulled her hands away in confusion and he smiled. Tearing a chunk of bread from the edge of the freshly baked trencher, he scooped up some stew then carried the portion to his

114

Seeking Truth

wife’s lips. She glanced at him then opened her mouth, biting on the food with relish. When her tongue grazed his fingers, he gasped as heat enveloped his cock, driving it upright in appreciation. He enjoyed watching her chew as he carried the remaining bite of food to his mouth. He licked his lips, his gut tightening when she licked hers too. Her tongue was a marvel and he longed to feel it on his body again. Vérité leaned forward, her hands following the path where his had led as she replicated his actions. Eaduin opened his mouth, his eyes staring into hers as she lifted a gravy-moistened hunk of bread to his lips. He ate it, enjoying the play between them. A delicate flush colored her cheeks as she watched him lick his lips and swallow. She brought her napkin to his lips, dabbing lightly then resettling the cloth in her lap. Eaduin speared a bite of meat on his fork, presenting it to Vérité. She opened her mouth, sighing as the tasty morsel found its home inside. Eaduin envied the meat. He wanted to be in her mouth in the worst way. Reaching for her, he gently wiped the edge of her mouth with his finger then licked the droplet of gravy from his skin while he held her gaze with his. She bit her lip, breathing deep with excitement. He must go to the chapel later to say prayers in praise of God. Somehow, after all the hell he’d experienced in his life, God gifted him just a morsel of pleasure and happiness. Eaduin intended to grasp it with both hands, lest it be taken from him. He leaned toward Vérité, whispering in her ear. “I know a quiet spot near the river where we can be alone this afternoon. What say you?” He enjoyed the way she shivered as his breath teased her, so he couldn’t resist nipping the lobe of her ear. He grinned when she jumped then leaned closer. “It would be most pleasing to walk near the river on such a lovely day,” she breathed. “Father.” Isolda’s loud voice made Eaduin stiffen. “Crispin has not visited Kempe Heath before. We would join you and Vérité on your tour this afternoon.” “I love my daughter,” he muttered, closing his eyes and silently counting to ten. “I know you do, Eaduin.” “It’s not you I’m telling, Vérité. I’m reminding myself.” He straightened and met his daughter’s defiant dark eyes. She quailed slightly when she saw his forbidding frown, but met his eyes bravely. Her courage was one of the things he loved most about her. “I’m sure we would enjoy your company, Daughter,” he lied. Eaduin heard Alec laugh from his place on the other side of Vérité. He looked at Alec, rolling his eyes at his former squire brother, who winked, fighting a full-out grin. In all her sixteen years, Eaduin had never known his daughter to act like such a petulant, spoiled child. She’d never been rude to women she knew were his lovers, yet she was possessive and childish with Vérité. He felt completely baffled and he could see by the hurt and sulky look on Crispin’s face, her behavior baffled her husband too.

115

Francesca Hawley

Eaduin turned his back to his daughter to focus on his wife, pushing any feelings of guilt away. His daughter should focus on her husband, not her father. He drank some of his ale. He tugged another piece of bread off the trencher, soaking it in gravy. He lifted it to Vérité’s mouth, holding it slightly above her lips so she had to sit upright to reach it. Her tongue flicked out to lick the ragged gravy-soaked bits, which threatened to fall on her. Then she reached up to catch his wrist, circling the bare flesh with her fingers while she sucked at the bread, daring him with her eyes. “Disgusting!” Isolda humphed. “Do you really think so?” Crispin sounded wistful. Eaduin grinned. Leaning close, he whispered, “My fingers are a bit sticky.” Vérité’s eyes held his as her tongue swirled over his fingers then drew them into her mouth to suck. Eaduin shifted with a groan. “Better, my lord?” He opened his eyes as she dried his now-clean fingers with her napkin. “My fingers are cleaner, yes. But I don’t think I feel better at the moment.” “Should I stop?” “Nay.” “Very well. Are you still hungry?” “I am.” Vérité licked her lips. She tore a piece of bread then used the fork to load it with a bit of meat and vegetable before feeding it to him. “You must keep up your strength, my lord.” Before she could pull her hand away, he grasped her hand and licked her fingers clean then dabbed them dry. “I love to watch you eat, Vérité. I keep seeing you with my cock in your hands and your tongue exploring it from root to tip.” “I see you with your head between my legs, fingers inside my cunt while you torment the folds of my sex with your tongue as if you were enjoying the most delectable of subtleties,” she whispered back. “Ah, but it is precisely what I did, my lady. Drinking honeyed nectar. I have every intention of enjoying the delicacy again soon. In fact, if it wouldn’t shock everyone present, I’d enjoy it right now.” She flushed bright red, her eyes widening. He enjoyed watching the changing expressions flickering on her face as she envisioned him lifting her skirts and eating her before the assembled populace. “That would be highly improper.” Eaduin sucked her earlobe, enjoying how she jumped. “Yes, but most tasty.” “You keep raising the wager, my lord.” “Do I?” “Yes. Last night you teased me in private. Today in public.”

116

Seeking Truth

“Do you wish me to stop?” He drew back slightly to look into her wide eyes. She bit her lips uncertainly then reluctantly shook her head. “Then let me feed you, my lady.” Eaduin couldn’t keep the lusty, if slightly doting smile off his face as they fed each other the rest of their meal. He had to admit, if only to himself, he enjoyed the feelings associated with the development of their new relationship. It had been more than six months since he’d shared anything more than one night with a woman, and the prospect of a lifetime with a lover as passionate as Vérité had his gut tight with anticipation and his hand close to his knife to warn off any other man who showed an interest in her. “Ah, a delectable subtlety. Just what I needed,” Eaduin commented as the sweet course was brought in. Vérité bit her lip as he used his spoon to lift a portion of the apple tart to her mouth. She moaned as she ate, smiling at the sweetness. “James and Sarah are both highly talented at their callings.” “They are. I’m glad you approve for as my lady it is your duty and right to see to the proper order of my household.” “It is, isn’t it?” She blinked with realization. “Yea, Vérité.” “A great responsibility.” She looked down at her lap. “I’ve little training in this area, Eaduin.” Eaduin ran his finger over her lips, wiping away crumbs. “You’ll learn and Bronwen can aid you. I have every confidence in you.” Vérité’s smile lit her face at his praise, his gut tightening for an entirely different reason—making her happy pleased him. These were dangerous paths he trod in his thinking, for it meant that in only two days she had become important to him. He looked down, taking her hand in his, unwilling to withdraw from her even though he was chilled with fear. If someone or something became important, loss caused pain. He didn’t want more pain. He’d endured enough, and in but a short time he would endure more for he would lose Judith. Nothing could prevent it. Were his feelings for Vérité so strong because of the impending loss of the only mother he had ever known? Was it the only reason he turned to her so fervently? Her eyes lit with pleasure as he lifted her hand to kiss her knuckles. He turned her hand over, pressing a warmer kiss to the inside of her wrist. It was just the newness between them, he decided. It had to be. He refused to allow himself to become vulnerable again. Losing Judith would be devastating enough. Vérité spooned up some of the tart and fed him while he fed her in turn. Lust. It was clean and light. More than enough for right now. He would not go further. Eaduin could make her happy with intense pleasure…neither of them needed more. After the meal, Eaduin went to Judith in response to her request for a talk. He stood before Judith’s door with trepidation in his heart. He knew this would not be a simple,

117

Francesca Hawley

friendly talk. Not when he’d been summoned. For the first time in years, he wanted to turn tail and hide from Judith, for she saw too much, and it was usually decidedly uncomfortable for the one she counseled. Thank God Vérité had decided to visit the kitchen to offer her thanks to James and Sarah, for he needed no audience for this interview. He pushed open the door to the solar and crossed the wide expanse to his old bed. The bed brought back painful memories of being tied to it by Annys, which he did not need right now. He was glad to be rid of it, though it was a comfortable structure. Eaduin knew without doubt Judith slept well in it. He caught sight of her, pausing with shock. She looked alert and, dare he think it, healthier. Her long blonde hair was shiny and clean, pulled back in a single braid. She had on a fresh shift and the bedding had been changed. The room smelled of lavender and rosemary. He strode over to the bed and went down on his knees. “Forgive me.” Judith stretched out a hand, running it through his hair. “Whatever for, Eaduin?” “I should have realized the room needed a thorough cleaning and airing. I’ve been lax.” “Look at me, you silly man.” He reluctantly raised his eyes to hers. “None of you are healers—you would hardly have considered what needed to be done. To do as well as you did is nearly miraculous and I’m grateful for the care you’ve given me. Many others would have cared little or left my care entirely to servants. Do not berate yourself, for I do not.” “Are you certain?” “I am. Now come. Sit beside me.” She patted the bed, so Eaduin settled at her side. He steeled himself for whatever she might want to discuss. “How may I aid you today, love?” “So guarded.” Judith shook her head, taking his hands in her own. “Bronwen, dear. Go fetch yourself some more food and leave Eaduin and me alone for a few minutes.” “Yes, Mother.” She winked at Eaduin, patting his shoulder in comfort. “I won’t leave you to her tender mercies too long, Brother.” He chuckled. “Thank you.” Eaduin watched his sister leave with considerable misgivings. This was to be a private reading…completely private. Such did not bode well. “Eaduin, you are taking the wrong path.” He blinked, contemplating his foster mother. Normally, Judith never made such a bold or direct statement. She always used leading questions to trap her quarry. “Which path do you mean?” “The one leading away from your new wife.” He opened his mouth to argue then realized he had just been contemplating that very thing during the midday meal. How the devil did she know? “Judith…” 118

Seeking Truth

“Don’t lie to me. You do it poorly.” “Actually I lie quite well.” “Not to me you don’t, now what is your response?” “I’ve never known you to be so direct.” “Time is short. Time for me and time for you. You will be called to make a decision soon requiring your focus. Don’t run from the path that will lead you to happiness.” “And you believe the path toward Vérité leads to my happiness?” Judith smiled. “Oh not immediately. Nothing worth having is easy, is it?” “Damn you!” He growled. Pulling his hands from hers, he rose to pace as she watched him with a placid expression on her face. “I know you already care for her.” “But I just met the woman.” “Met her and married her, Eaduin. It took you little time to decide to do the very thing you swore you wouldn’t.” “We have need of her skills, no more.” “Her skills? She has such skills in your bed, then?” Eaduin whipped around, scowling. “Don’t speak so.” “How? Do you think I insult her?” His face felt hot. Damn it, he was blushing. “Yes, you do. I meant no insult to Vérité. I’ve always known she was passionate and caring.” “Known when she told you about Mistress Emma?” Judith smiled. “Confessed, did she?” “Not precisely, but I know. But then so did you, yea?” “Yea. I knew it was you she hungered for. The time wasn’t right then, for you were unable to marry her and she deserved the protection of your name. She still does.” “I know, but I don’t have to love her.” “You already do.” Eaduin laughed. “I do not.” “Of course not.” She smiled faintly. “Just remember, Eaduin. This woman is your wife and she will be the mother to your sons. Don’t be a fool and lose the thing you need most.” “Her passion?” “Her love.” He opened his mouth to argue when a soft knock heralded Bronwen’s return. She entered carrying a small tray. He took it from her and set it on a nearby table. “Why did they let you carry this? You didn’t climb the stairs, did you?” “I most certainly did. I’m pregnant, not incapacitated.” Eaduin shook his head, thankful for the timely interruption. “I really should beat Richard senseless.” 119

Francesca Hawley

Bronwen laughed. “She must have told you rather a lot of things you didn’t want to hear.” She turned to Judith. “Have I given you enough time?” “For now, yes. Think on what I told you, Eaduin. Your life and your happiness depend on it.” “My life?” “Did I forget to mention it? Consider your path well, my son.” “Thank you.” She laughed at the bitter irony in his voice. He bent down to kiss her cheek. “Sometimes you are more trouble than you’re worth.” “And yet you love me.” “Yea, and I always will.” He sighed and went in search of his wife.

120

Seeking Truth

Chapter Seventeen Vérité shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, trying not to watch Crispin and Isolda argue in hissing tones across the room. She wished Eaduin would return. Only married two days, yet she missed him. Could there be a greater fool? He didn’t love her, he wanted her. She must always remember it if she didn’t want to be hurt. Fortunately, she wanted him too. She watched her stepdaughter Isolda, who alternately scowled at her then at her husband. Though Vérité couldn’t hear the argument across the room, she didn’t need to. Crispin had no interest in Kempe Heath but Isolda wouldn’t be deterred. Two sixteen-year-old chaperones. Wasn’t that was just what she and Eaduin needed to make their day complete? Isolda had twice prevented her and Eaduin from fornicating today and Vérité knew if her stepdaughter had her way, she and Eaduin would never fuck again. Already Vérité was becoming bad-tempered from deprivation. She wanted Eaduin inside her…needed it. Her body felt on fire after the teasing endured during the midday meal. Her nipples ached and her cunt pulsed. When would she get him alone? How did she get him alone? There had to be a way. “Vérité?” A hand settled on her shoulder and she jumped, screeching as she whipped around. Vérité caught her breath, laughing at the astonished expression on Eaduin’s face. His eyebrows nearly reached his hairline. “I’m sorry, Eaduin. I was rather intent on solving a problem.” “What problem?” “How to get you away from our chaperones.” She nodded to where Isolda now frowned at them. He grinned. “A conundrum indeed. Perhaps if we work together the answer shall present itself.” “Excellent notion.” “I must admit, I’ve not had to elude unwelcome reproving eyes in years.” “Not since your riotous youth?” “Quite true. I was a precocious young man, I admit, but then the ladies at court were only too willing to provide instruction to me if I could but secure privacy with them.” “We will need to utilize your undoubtedly vast experience in escaping.”

121

Francesca Hawley

He chuckled. “Well, we won’t succeed here, but when we reach Kempe Heath we may.” “I look forward to it. I still crave the walk along the river you promised me.” “It isn’t the walk I’m craving,” he growled suggestively, running his palm down her arm to settle at her waist, tugging her close. “Nor I.” Vérité tipped up her head. Leaning close to him, she set her hand on his chest. Through the warm velvet of his bliaut, she could feel the strong, fast beat of his heart. “Are you two coming?” Isolda asked. Eaduin sighed, pulling back as Vérité met his eyes. She winked. “Not yet, but soon I hope.” He burst into laughter. “Indeed.” Isolda stamped her food. “Stop being foolish. Father, walk with me. We’ve not chatted in months.” “I think it would be best if I offered companionship to my wife and you offered companionship to your husband for this trip. It is for their benefit we provide a tour, after all.” Isolda pursed her lips, her face and body stiff with disapproval. “Of course.” “When did my daughter turn into a prune, I wonder?” he whispered in Vérité’s ear. She bit her lip to keep from laughing. “Perhaps it was marriage that did it.” “I sincerely hope not. You won’t turn into a prune, will you, wife?” “I promise to guard against the tendency, my lord.” “Should you ever turn into a prune, I’ll cover you in honey and eat you up.” Vérité giggled. “Not much of a deterrent, you know.” “Am I inciting you to be more prune-like?” “I’m afraid so.” “I’ll consider my threats more carefully, then, but somehow I don’t think threatening a spanking would deter you either,” he purred into her ear. Vérité shivered. How did he know? Just the thought of him taking her over his knee set her on fire. It brought to mind all the delicious torments Eaduin used to inflict on Mistress Emma. Her face felt hot…in fact her entire body felt hot. “I think it is time to head to the village. Come children,” Eaduin called to his daughter and Crispin, taking Vérité by the arm to lead her out of the keep via the front gates. She picked up her empty basket from a nearby table so she would have something in which to carry her purchases. She leaned into her husband, enjoying the way they rubbed against one another as they walked. Eaduin set a gentle, easy pace after they exited the castle. He pointed out various businesses, which were readily apparent from their higher vantage point. 122

Seeking Truth

“How far do your lands extend beyond the castle walls, Eaduin?” “To the abbey in the south and to the sea below in the east.” “And to the north and west?” “A fair distance. Lord Alexander de Montfort’s lands border mine to the north and my cousins, the de Norclif’s border my lands on the west.” Vérité bit her lip. It was several leagues to the abbey in the south, she had a sense there was an even greater distance to the north and west since he didn’t say how far away the other estates were. She cleared her throat. “Do you hold other properties as well?” “I do. Have no worries, our sons will have property in plenty to hold.” “I wasn’t worried, Eaduin.” But she was now. He truly needed sons, and in addition to her skills in the healing arts, it must be fertility that had recommended her to him. Perhaps he didn’t even want her at all. Maybe his passion was false and it was just duty he felt. “You look pensive, my lady.” “Do I?” “Yea, and you seem upset. Is it not enough land?” Vérité’s eyes flew to his looking for a jest, but she found none. His question was in earnest and he seemed displeased. “Not enough land? How can you ask it? No wonder you chose to remarry. I pray you fill me with child soon, my lord, so I may fulfill your requirements of me.” “My requirements? I don’t intend to get you with child immediately unless God wills it. I want to revel in you, Vérité. I want to stroke you, to mount you, to eat you up until you can’t imagine being without my touch.” She shivered. She couldn’t imagine life without him already. “But surely you want sons to inherit your lands.” He shrugged. “Not particularly. My father came by several properties through blackmail and murder as did my grandfather. If these lands go to my daughter and her children, I will have no complaints.” Vérité opened her mouth then closed it again. This was such a foreign concept to her she couldn’t understand it, yet she knew he spoke the truth. Without even trying, she saw the glow of his spirit surrounding him. In fact, since their lovemaking last eve, she realized she always saw it. She’d become so used to its glow she forgot it was there. As they reached the edge of the village, Eaduin drew her close to his side. “It’s market day, so there will be a bit of traffic here. Still, it will be a good day to shop. We have several traveling merchants who stop here on their rounds of the area. My hope is the book seller will be here.” “You enjoy reading?”

123

Francesca Hawley

“Very much. I buy whatever I can lay my hands upon because books are so scarce. Would you appreciate a Book of Hours for yourself? I gave the one I had to Isolda when she married.” “Yes, Eaduin. It would be lovely to have such a book if it is affordable.” Eaduin grinned. “Oh, most things are affordable regardless of price. My lands are rich and the horses we breed command high prices. We have flocks of sheep and a good cattle herd, so finances are not a problem even after I give the king his due. Still, I always bargain most fiercely with the book merchant lest he think I’m a fool.” Vérité smiled, for Eaduin resembled a boy anticipating a great treat. As they walked into the buildings at the edge of the village, people were clustered together to chat while they shot curious looks at the four of them as they neared. Along this main road the buildings were a combination of shop below and home above. Eaduin leaned his head close to her. “We must be careful not to show overly much preference to any one merchant. They would be happy of the custom but their neighbors might resent them if they find favor with us.” “This seems quite complicated.” “I just shop a bit everywhere for it makes things easier all round. Come, let us visit the chandler’s. I have a specific purchase in mind.” His grin was wicked, but Vérité had no idea why buying candles would cause Eaduin to look dangerous and hungry. Before they reached the chandler’s shop a well-dressed man stopped them. “Me lord, a pleasure to see you this day.” The man bowed deeply. Eaduin grinned at him. “And you Master Nigel. This is my new lady. Lady Vérité may I present to you Master Nigel Brewer.” “A pleasure, Master Nigel.” “I hope you’ll be happy in Kempe Heath, me lady.” “Thank you. I’m sure I will.” Isolda humphed in the background and Master Nigel laughed at her. “Ah. Now this lassie I know well. How old were you when you fell into my mash?” Vérité laughed, noting the blush flood Isolda’s cheeks. “I believe I was five, Master Nigel.” “Five years old and full of ginger and vinegar. Best bit of ale I ever made.” “The years haven’t changed her greatly,” Eaduin assured the brewer dryly, raising his brows at his embarrassed daughter. “This fine young man is my daughter’s husband. Lord Crispin de Montfort may I present to you Master Nigel Brewer.” Crispin nodded to the brewer, pulling Isolda close with a proprietary air. “Good to meet you, me lord. You’ve a fine strong man there, miss.” “Yea, Master Nigel, I know. Thank you.” Isolda smiled up at Crispin, who straightened at her praise, a glow to his cheeks.

124

Seeking Truth

Eaduin turned to the brewer. “Master Nigel, the latest ale you sent us was superb. We enjoyed some with our midday meal. It was fruity and unless I’m much mistaken there was a hint of cinnamon.” “Me lord has a fine palate.” Master Nigel’s grin split his rounded face, showing two missing front teeth. He smelled smoky and his tunic sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. Vérité hadn’t seen such massive muscled forearms on a man before. He might remind her of just a jolly fat man, but he was obviously much more. “I’d welcome more sent to the castle if you have it.” “We do, me lord. I’ll see to it.” “What other brews may we look forward to receiving?” “I’ve been experimenting with a nice heather ale. Would you care to step to my shop for a taste?” “Yea. I would.” As they entered the shop, Master Nigel bellowed at one of the young lads to fetch a mug for his lordship. A boy scurried over with the cup, bowing to Eaduin before he ran off. Master Nigel opened a keg and dipped out a cup of the frothy brew, which he handed to Eaduin. Eaduin lifted his mug but paused just before he drank. “No mugwort?” “Nay indeed. I never use such in my gruit for I know it sets ill with you. It’s safe for you to sample, me lord.” Eaduin nodded then sipped, smiling as he swished it around his mouth before swallowing. “Excellent, though it’s a bit green. Send a barrel my way when it’s had a chance to age.” “Aye, that I will.” Eaduin clapped him on the shoulder. When Master Nigel returned the affectionate clap, the buffeting nearly sent Eaduin to the ground but he laughed good-naturedly. Nigel Brewer was a big man who had little concept of his own strength. Vérité studied the aura surrounding him feeling overwhelmed by the warmth and kindness she saw revealed. “We will leave you to your brewing and I look forward to more sampling.” They left Master Nigel and continued down the road, stopping into shops along the way, making small purchases in each one. At the weaver’s, Eaduin opened the door to allow her to precede him. Inside, Vérité’s eyes settled on beautiful warm woven lengths of wool fabric. Most would be too dear for many of the villagers, so Vérité knew they had been created with the inhabitants of the castle in mind. Lying across the front table was a deep red brocaded wool that elicited a gasp of pleasure from Vérité. “Oh Eaduin. This would be splendid on you!” She lifted the cloth and held it against him. “Would it?” “Oh yea. And so soft…like down. It must be lamb’s wool!” 125

Francesca Hawley

“It is, my lady. We culled the herd and kept the fleeces of the lambs we slaughtered.” Vérité froze, for she knew the voice. Slowly she turned to the woman standing uncertainly behind the shop counter. The woman was dressed somberly in fine wool garments, but it was Mistress Emma. No longer was her neckline low to show off her abundant breasts and pale as porcelain skin. She was older but still lovely. “Mistress Emma?” Emma smiled slightly, a flush in her cheeks, obviously uncertain of her welcome. She curtseyed. “Greetings, my lady.” Vérité glanced at Eaduin. Did she have a rival? Did he still lust for Emma? His gaze reflected a fondness but no deep abiding passion, so Vérité relaxed, greeting Mistress Emma as the friend she had once been. “I have not laid eyes upon you for nearly nine years. You look well, Mistress.” “Thank you, my lady. You have grown into a handsome woman.” She glanced archly at Eaduin. “A woman to be cherished.” Eaduin smiled at them both. “I shall do my best, Mistress. Is Master Marcus here? I have need to speak to him about the sheep.” “Has my lord any problems?” Master Marcus came from the back of the store. Sliding his arm around Emma, he drew her close, placing himself between Emma and Eaduin. Vérité could see Marcus knew Eaduin and Emma had been lovers and was jealous and protective of her. “Nay, I wished to inquire if we needed to buy any more rams to improve breeding.” Marcus nodded. “Aye, my lord. Another ram wouldn’t come amiss. We don’t want any inbreeding to weaken the animals.” “I’ll look into a purchase, then.” Two lads raced into the shop, nearly colliding with Crispin. They shuddered to a stop. Both lads were as blond as their father and were the image of him, though they had their mother’s brown eyes. “Mum, we took the food out to the shepherds.” “Good lads. My lady, these are my sons. This is Martin. ” She patted the taller one on the head. He bowed. She caught the younger and pulled him close. “And this young scamp is Eadgar.” “Mum… No hugging.” Vérité winked at Emma. “They are fine lads and the image of their father. Master Marcus, you must be very proud of them.” Marcus glanced uncomfortably at Eaduin. “I am. I’m the luckiest of men to have such a wonderful wife.”

126

Seeking Truth

“I know. Mistress Emma is a kind-hearted woman, or so I always found her.” Vérité could tell how uncomfortable Marcus was with Eaduin’s presence, so she hurried the transaction. “I want to purchase this length of red wool.” “Take it, my lady. A gift.” Emma urged her. “Emma!” Master Marcus hissed. Emma waved his words away. Vérité patted her arm, knowing they could ill afford such an expensive gesture of good will. “A kind gift to be sure, but we will buy it nonetheless. It is fine wool and such excellent work should receive its due. Should you make anything similar in a deep rich green, please send word. I’m sure soft wool such as this would be a fine dress for me to wear in the winter.” Emma smiled. “Thank you, my lady.” She folded the fabric and handed it to Vérité. Vérité couldn’t help but stare at her friend. Emma looked happy and settled, but how in the world did she end up married and at home here in Kempe Heath? “Vérité, I’ll take these two over to the smithy. He had some new bridles he wanted me to look at. Meet us there.” “Thank you, my lord. I have far more interest in wool than in metal.” Vérité smiled gratefully up at Eaduin. She squeezed his hand, and he lifted her hand to his mouth, grazing her knuckles with his lips. “Don’t linger over long. I don’t want to miss the book seller.” “I’ll be along soon.” Eaduin, Isolda and Crispin left together. Isolda looked a bit too smug for Vérité’s taste, but she had more important things on her mind just now. Emma nodded her head at her husband and sons, who quickly filed out. When they were alone, Vérité enveloped the older woman in a hug. At first Emma was still then she hugged back. “You look well, Emma.” She lowered her voice. “Are you happy?” Emma’s face grew soft and dreamy. “Aye. Marcus has been a wonderful husband, and he is an excellent father.” “But how did you meet him? Did he visit you?” Emma laughed. “Oh nay, child. His lordship and I…well the relationship lasted beyond the time you quit coming round.” “Please forgive me, I wanted to return but I was discovered.” “I thought it the case and took no insult. Lord Kempe was a passionate man and I enjoyed our time together, but his needs grew too…well, he was more than I could handle. I think he sensed it and he did with me what he did with all the women he finished with.” “Paid you off?” “Nay. Married me off. You’ll find some of the most staid matrons in this town are former lovers of his lordship. All of us happily married because his lordship found

127

Francesca Hawley

suitable husbands who could accept our pasts. I’ve known no other man like him. Others would have discarded us without a second thought, or paid us a pittance for our service to him.” “Do you love him?” “Marcus? Oh aye.” “I meant Eaduin.” Emma patted Vérité’s arm. “My lady, I may have loved him while we were together but no longer. He is a kind, decent man and I owe him much, but I love my husband. I am grateful to his lordship. No more.” Vérité took a deep breath of relief, wondering if all the other women felt the same. “And the others? You said there were others.” “Many others, for he tends to wear a woman out with his hunger. Every one I’ve spoken with feels as I do. Grateful for the assistance to find a husband and for the time with him, but no more.” “I see.” “You will need to take care of yourself, my lady. Eat well to keep up your strength, for once started he only stops when he’s exhausted, and like a bull, it takes much to exhaust him.” “So I’ve discovered.” Vérité chuckled, leaning close to Emma. “He is quite…amazing.” Emma laughed. “I remember.” “Do you have any suggestions? Advice?” “You seek advice from me?” “Who better? I used to watch, you know.” “I do know. It was exciting to know someone was watching us, especially since he didn’t know. Does he know now? He seemed unsurprised by the fact you knew me.” “He knows. I blurted it out last night after…” Emma frowned. “When did you marry?” “Yesterday.” “You mean last night was your first… And you are walking about the village today? Is his lordship mad? You must be in pain! Are you all right? Do you need to sit? I can find a pillow.” Vérité smiled at the concern Emma showed. “I was a bit sore this morning, but we were interrupted so he didn’t spend the entire night with me as he might have wished.” Emma sighed, her shoulders relaxing in relief. “It’s as well. He’s not a small man and if he took you too often…” “He didn’t, and his daughter has interrupted us twice today.” Vérité couldn’t keep the snappiness from her tone.

128

Seeking Truth

Emma laughed. “I considered introducing you to him all those years ago for I thought he would suit you well.” “I considered introducing myself to him back then, but didn’t.” “It is better you didn’t. During my time with him, his late wife was still alive so he couldn’t have married you, which is why I decided not to introduce you.” “Why did you never tell me his name? When he arrived at the abbey looking for a healer, I couldn’t believe it. I was shocked to see him and more stunned still when he offered marriage.” “I never told you who he was because he specifically asked me to be still about his visits. He didn’t wish his wife to hear about his indiscretions even though it was she who ordered him to seek relief away from her bed.” “You knew?” “Oh yes. Everyone in the area knew for Lady Elspeth’s difficult pregnancies were legend. We were all shocked she gave birth to even one child, for she was so very tiny.” Vérité shook her head. “If she was so tiny, how could she…take him?” “Not well is my guess. She was a kind lady and very gentle. I think it was her natural gentleness and delicacy that caused her no end of difficulties, for Lord Eaduin is a handful for even the strongest of women.” Vérité giggled. “More than a handful, I’d say.” “How true.” Emma grinned. “Is there anything he really favored? I have no worries he will please me, but I am so ignorant of what I can do to please him.” “Talk to him.” “Talk to him? I already do.” “Not hello, how are you, my lord. Nay. You should whisper words of bedding to him. Especially when you are in public.” “In public. You mean in front of other people? They’ll hear.” “Not if you lean close and whisper right in his ear. It will madden him. Lean close then tell him you want him and describe how.” “He will fancy it?” “It will rouse him to fierce passion but be prepared for his reaction. Don’t rouse him without intending to follow through or you’ll anger him.” “I understand. Is he fond of other words?” “When you are alone together, beg.” “Beg? Beg for what?” “Anything. He loves to be begged for pleasure. Save your dignity for when you’re at court with other nobles. The rest of the time, taunt and tease him.”

129

Francesca Hawley

Vérité considered. No ideas came to mind how to tantalize him. “How do I know what to say to tease and taunt him, Emma?” “Think as if you’re a man. To a man everything he sees is about bedding a woman, from the tightness of his trews to the bridle straps on his saddle. Even an oddly shaped log by the side of the road resembles his cock to him.” She’d never imagined how men thought, but it was exciting. Vérité bit her lip, trying to imagine what would rouse Eaduin’s passion. He did seem to find arousal in the littlest of things such as eating. “What else should I do?” Emma looked around to make sure they were well and truly alone then leaned close. “His ballocks. He loves having them licked and sucked. Especially underneath on the backside of the balls.” She nodded. “I’ll try it.” Yea, he had seemed to enjoy when she licked him there, though she’d not spent much time at it. She’d been too busy exploring other places. “Is there anything else I should attempt?” Emma grinned wickedly. “Get him excited so his cock is oozing. Take some of his lotion onto the tip of your finger then lick and suck his balls to distract him so you can use your sticky finger to ease your way into his arse.” “His arse? Rub his bottom?” “Nay, lass. Slip a finger into his arsehole. Ease in and massage him.” Emma demonstrated a beckoning gesture, crooking her finger. “Stroke inside his arse. You’ll feel a swollen spot. Massage it and I promise you he’ll roar as loud as a lion and shoot like a catapult.” “He will?” “Aye. No man will admit he loves it, but they all do.” “Even your Marcus?” “Especially my Marcus.” Emma chuckled. “Hmmm. I wonder where he went for I’m feeling rather warm.” “Far be it for me to come between a woman and her husband.” “No, better for you to come with your husband.” “Yea. I think it’s time to go look at bridles.” “And leather. He favors leather, so don’t forget to stop at the tanner’s.” Vérité nodded. “Yea, I think shopping there would please my lord very much.” “Undoubtedly, my lady.” Vérité hugged her friend then eased the wool into the basket she carried. “I’ll visit again soon. Thank you for the advice.” “It is my pleasure. I hope it works well for you.” Vérité waved and hastened to find Eaduin to put thought to action.

130

Seeking Truth

Chapter Eighteen Where was she? Eaduin looked toward the door, hoping against hope Vérité would appear. He prayed leaving her alone with Emma was the right thing to do. Mistress Emma was one of the few women he’d kept as a leman for almost a year, so she knew his peculiarities as well as anyone, but he didn’t need her passing those bits of information to his wife. Vérité drove him nearly to the edge of his control now. She needed no further instruction. “My lord, you aren’t watching!” “I beg your pardon, Master Daniel. Pray continue.” He forced his mind back to the smith’s demonstration of the new steel formulation he had contrived that he swore was as strong as Spanish steel. The smith was currently hacking his way through a two-foot-thick log with a sword. Though the sword managed admirably, Eaduin winced each time the blade struck wood. Fanciful though it might be, he could almost hear the steel crying in pain. Yet again the smith hefted the sword and brought it down upon the wood. Such abuse of a good weapon set his teeth on edge. “Enough, Master Daniel. Your point is well made. I’ll take it.” “Allow me to resharpen it for you, me lord, as there are a few nicks along the edge now. But as I told you, the blade did not shatter.” “You were as good as your word,” Eaduin assured him, glancing at his son-in-law. Crispin appeared as pained as Eaduin felt. At least the boy knew enough not to abuse a weapon. A hand grazed his bottom. Eaduin whipped around to discover his lady grinning wickedly at him. She licked her lips. Shit, Emma told her something. He just knew it. Never leave two women alone together for it led to the utter destruction of civilization as man knew it. He was an absolute and complete fool. “Greetings, Eaduin.” She leaned against him. “Where are the tanners located? I’m in need of some leather straps.” Eaduin closed his eyes and groaned. He opened his eyes to look into hers. “Are you? Perhaps some soft supple straps would feel pleasant against the skin, lady wife?” “Yes, I think your description is just what’s needed,” she purred. “Taunt me too much, my lady, and a spanking will be what’s needed.” “Promise?” With just a word, she made his cock hard. Tight. Aching. Damn her. He needed to fuck her. If they could escape, he could get inside her tight cunt and take her until she screamed. But how did they escape?

131

Francesca Hawley

He glanced over at his daughter, who had been having a pleasant conversation with the smith’s wife Sarra but was now scowling with her arms crossed over her chest. Sarra was another of his former lovers, which fortunately neither Vérité nor Isolda knew. The less his wife and daughter knew of his past the happier he’d be. It was clear his daughter intended to watch him like a hawk. Escaping her would be near impossible, but he was up to the task. Fucking his wife just became his greatest priority for the afternoon while warming her arse with his hand was second on his list. “You’d best not be teasing, Vérité, for I’ll take you at your word.” “I look forward to it.” He nodded at her, turning to the smith. “Master Daniel, if you could send the purchases to the castle and collect payment from my steward, I’d be most grateful. We have a few other shops to visit yet this afternoon.” “Aye, me lord. A pleasure to serve.” “Hmmm. I was going to say that,” she purred in his ear. He slipped his hand around her waist then down to her arse, squeezing firmly. She jumped, giving out a squeak but she didn’t pull away. Her eyes widened briefly then grew knowing as if she’d discovered something dangerous to his sanity. A smile bloomed on her lips. “How shall I serve you, my lord?” He fought his inclination to press her to the wall and grind his hips into hers. “I’ll instruct you later, my lady.” “Will I enjoy serving you?” “I think we shall both enjoy it.” “Good.” She pulled away and walked to the door, hips swaying. She looked back over her shoulder, crooking her finger at him. “Coming, my lord?” “Almost,” he muttered, following her from the smithy. She remained ahead of him, glancing tauntingly back at him from time to time. If she twitched her arse at him one more time, he was going to put her over his knee in the middle of the square. In barely a quarter of an hour, Emma turned his virgin lady into a lusty woman. The worst part was he enjoyed the transformation far too much. He felt on fire with desire. When she started to pass the chandler’s, he grinned. Time to test her resolve. “My lady, you have passed the next shop. I told you I had some purchases at the chandler’s.” “Yea, I believe you did.” She moved to his side, taking his arm. “By all means let us see what candles may be purchased for the castle.” Eaduin grinned. The chandler always kept a special stock for him, and today was the day to refill the hidden storage cabinet built into the bed. Eaduin opened the door, following his lady into the shop. He caught the eye of the candlemaker, who was yet another husband to one of his former lovers, and nodded knowingly at the other man. The chandler smiled wickedly, for he knew his lord’s preferences only too well. After

132

Seeking Truth

all, he’d benefitted from them for the last five years since marrying Mistress Gwen. Vérité looked over the shelves, sniffing at several of the scented candles before replacing them on the shelves. “I think you said we needed tallow candles to light our chamber?” “Tallow?” He wrinkled his nose. “I think not. Beeswax. Master Chandler, we need some large, thick, beeswax candles.” “How many should I find, my lord?” “Do you have a dozen dipped?” he asked, eyeing his wife, unable to stop licking his lips. “Aye, my lord. I’ll bring them from the back.” “Excellent. I’ll have them.” Vérité leaned close. “Why do you look so hungry, Eaduin?” “You’ll see. Pick out some scented candles for our room—no rose scents, please.” “I remember.” Vérité went to the shelves, sniffing at different candles to appreciate their fragrance, choosing some while replacing others. Eaduin shifted unable to adjust his hard cock in his trews in this public location. “Are these what you need, Lord Kempe?” Eaduin met the chandler’s twinkling eyes. “Exactly so. My lady, do these look appropriate for our chamber?” Vérité turned. Her cheeks flushed a deep red as she looked at what the candlemaker held. Eaduin took two from him and approached his wife. “Inspect them. Do they meet your approval?” She grasped one and hefted it, gasping as she looked at the smooth dipped candle. It was easily two inches in diameter and ten inches long with a tapered end from which the wick poked upward. Vérité met his eyes, raising her brows questioningly. She was quick, he’d give her that. Her wide eyes told him she knew exactly why he bought the candles and what use he intended to put them to. Her lips turned upward then she began to stroke the length of the candle. “It’s smooth as silk, isn’t it?” “It is.” Eaduin swallowed. This particular tack was not working as he’d intended. She was far from embarrassed and he was growing even more aroused. She caressed the candle, rolling it in her hands. When she lifted it toward her face he tensed, watching as the pale cream-colored candle neared her mouth. Instead of taking it into her mouth she sniffed then flicked her tongue out toward it, licking it so only he could see. “A most pleasing scent and it should provide us much light.” “And warmth.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “Do you think it will give off much heat?” “No, but it will absorb some,” he growled.

133

Francesca Hawley

She laughed. “I think it will. Let us hope it doesn’t melt too easily.” “Beeswax holds its shape remarkably well, Vérité.” He leaned against her, his fingers, sliding down her side to cup her arse. No matter how he tried, he couldn’t keep his hands off her bottom. It was so soft and yielding yet firm. A thing of beauty and temptation. “Papa, are you almost done here?” Eaduin stiffened, letting his hand drop from Vérité’s buttocks. He closed his eyes, counting to ten. He loved Isolda. She was his only child and he must not kill her. Truly. But if she interrupted them one more time… Vérité patted his arm soothingly. “We are done, Lady Isolda. I think the market square with the visiting merchants will be our next stop. Am I right, my lord?” “Yes, indeed.” He turned to the chandler who was fighting a losing battle against laughter. He rolled his eyes. The entire village appeared to enjoy the farce being played out before them. “Please send a lad up to the castle with these and with the scented candles my lady selected. My steward will pay for them.” “Aye, my lord.” “And be sure the lad knows they need to arrive intact. Broken candles are not nearly as useful to me.” Vérité gasped, which returned a smile to his mouth. “I understand, my lord.” By the grin on the man’s face, Eaduin knew he understood only too well. Eaduin directed Vérité toward the door. “Onward, my lady.” “Assuredly, my lord.” The heat of her body warmed his blood as they strolled side by side to the village square. Several traveling merchants were selling their wares as were some of his tenants. A percentage of the crops came to him from their lands, but he made sure he didn’t take more than they could reasonably give. His father hadn’t been nearly so nice in his notions, so it was no wonder his vassals preferred him to Lord Osweald. There was a bustling trade in early season vegetables and fresh greens. He enjoyed watching his lady venture from stall to stall to increase the castle’s larder. The cooks would be overjoyed with the abundance being sent their way. “Join me at the book seller when you finish here, my lady.” She nodded absently as she haggled with a farmer over some rhubarb. Eaduin grinned. She was every bit as determined to do well in her bargaining as he was. He weaved through the crowds until he reached the book seller’s wagon. “My lord. A beautiful May day, is it not?” “It is, Master William. Do you have a Book of Hours among your many items? I’ve recently married and my new lady has an interest in such a book.” Master William’s mouth dropped open. “You have married and your lady wants a religious text?”

134

Seeking Truth

Eaduin smiled. “She is a woman of diverse tastes. Have you a Book of Hours?” “I do, my lord.” Eaduin was pleased to have several to choose from, trying to determine what Vérité might find most pleasing. She joined him, taking his arm. “Is there a book you recommend?” “There are several here. What think you?” He handed her the books, watching as she considered each of the three available. “This one I think. Do you agree?” He took the Book of Hours from her for review. It was well made with fine calf skin pages and vividly colored illumination. The ink was even and dark. He hadn’t been certain Vérité had dealt much with books, but she’d chosen well. “Yea. Please wrap this one for us, Master William.” He handed the man coin for the book then smiled down at Vérité, running a finger along her cheekbone. She leaned into his touch and stroked his wrist lightly. Master William handed them the book and Vérité slipped it into her basket. He glanced over to where Crispin and Isolda were arguing over a book. He stared into her eyes, imparting the message they should make their escape now. Vérité looked over at his daughter and grinned. They casually began to drift away, though at first remaining within sight as if they were just inspecting the books. Isolda watched them but continued to press her argument with her husband. As they neared the edge of a building, Isolda studied them until Crispin said something to her. When she looked away, Eaduin grabbed Vérité’s hand, dragging her around the building. They began to move quickly along the streets away from the village square. “This way,” he growled, moving away from the crowds. “Won’t they come looking for us?” “Definitely, but if we keep moving we may be able to get away. Let’s head for the stream. There is a thick stand of trees we can hide within.”

135

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Nineteen Vérité glanced back toward the village as they ran along the grass toward a wooded area on this side of a stream that bisected the lands within the outer curtain wall. The wall rose over the stream would seem to be a challenge for the castle’s defenses, yet it would prove a trap for an unwary army. Just as they slipped inside the outer edge of the trees, Vérité looked back to see Isolda appear from between two buildings on the edge of the village with Crispin at her heels. “Eaduin. Hide!” He grabbed her and they pressed tight to the bole of a thick tree. Isolda and Crispin surveyed the surrounding land in an effort to locate where she and Eaduin had disappeared. Isolda pointed at the trees and Vérité groaned. Crispin shook his head, pointing with finality at a distant barn and walked toward it. “Good lad,” Eaduin growled. “For leading them away from us?” “No, for taking command, right or wrong. He’s been letting Isolda lead him about by the nose. He’d best remedy his behavior or their marriage will be hell for him.” “Not every man is as opinionated as you are, Eaduin.” He chuckled. “Perhaps not, but I think Crispin is.” Vérité and Eaduin watched the drama play out. Isolda yelled at Crispin. He paused, said something then turned away. Isolda stamped her feet and started toward the forest, but when Crispin continued his dogged path to the barn, she relented and ran after him. “The lad is learning. I was worried I’d have to take him aside to explain a few things to him and I’m sure he would have been insulted.” “I’m sure he would have. Now where are we going, Eaduin.” His lips curved into a dangerous smile. “There’s a crofter’s hut deep in these woods. It’s time for us to find it and make it ours.” He held out his hand to her and she took it. He pulled her along so they walked hand in hand along the grass-covered path. The woods were quiet and peaceful affording a sense of great privacy. “Is it dangerous? Could brigands hide here?” “Inside the outer curtain wall? Possible but unlikely for the woods are regularly patrolled by my guardsmen. There is generally much activity inside the curtain wall, what with roaming sheep and grazing cattle, brigands would not find a quiet place to do their deeds.” “Not even the crofter’s hut?”

136

Seeking Truth

Eaduin smiled faintly. “Definitely not there.” “You know, we didn’t stop at the tanner’s shop today, my lord.” “There will be other days and I’ve a certainty we shall enjoy shopping together.” “No doubt you are right.” She grinned and he chuckled, pulling her close to put his arm around her shoulder as they walked, so Vérité reciprocated. She’d never walked arm in arm with a man before and it was a heady, exciting experience. With every step some part of their bodies brushed each other. As they rounded a curve in the path, they came into a clearing in which stood a well-made crofter’s cottage. It looked as if someone would be back soon for the yard was neat and flowering spring bushes bloomed by the door. “Eaduin, does someone live here?” she whispered, slowing slightly. “Not right now, though it is regularly cared for by someone in the village. Come, Vérité.” He led her directly to the door as if he had every right to go inside. Of course he did, for the building was on his lands, yet it felt as if they were invading someone’s home. Eaduin opened the door and pulled her inside, pushing the door shut behind them and bolting it. She looked around the large room. There was a wide bed in one corner. In the center of one wall was a spacious fireplace that was already laid with wood to be easily lit. A table and chairs dominated another corner and a set of shelves leaned against the wall nearby. At the foot of the bed was a clothes press. Unable to help herself, Vérité set down her basket and opened the wood box. No clothing rested inside, but there was bedding, neatly folded. Vérité studied the room, finally recognizing the prominence of the bed. It was far larger than any crofter could have made or bought. Vérité pulled back the blankets, which covered the bedding. No bed bugs. She ran her hands over the sheeting. Linen and fine linen by the feel of it. No crofter ever lived here. Vérité didn’t know whether to be angry, hurt or aroused and found she was a bit of all three. “This is where your women live. Isn’t it?” Eaduin looked down at his feet, a blush in his cheeks. He turned abruptly, walking to the fireplace and absently taking a box off the mantle, obviously familiar with its placement from long use. He took the flint from inside and bent to light the kindling. “Eaduin…” He cleared his throat, his back to her as he stared into the fire. “Yes, Vérité. My past lovers lived here.” “But Emma lived near the abbey.” “I moved her after we’d been together a few times for I knew she’d be with me for a bit.” “How long were you together?” He shrugged. “Why do you wish to know? What’s past is past.” 137

Francesca Hawley

“Eaduin, please tell me.” “Emma was my leman for nearly a year.” “A year.” He rose and went to where she stood frozen. He bit his lip, pulling her into his arms to hold her close. She remained stiff, unsure how to feel. He was her husband now, yet to learn he’d shared his life with Emma for a year… He leaned away so he could gaze into her eyes. “Vérité, I’ve not had a lover for nigh on six months and I will never have a need for another. Let us put this subject away.” “Did you love her, Eaduin?” He released her and began to pace. “Damn it. What difference does it make?” “It makes a difference to me. Did you love her?” “I cared for her. Though from the first we both knew the relationship was one of passion more than love. I hold her in high esteem and affection now as then, but no, I didn’t love her.” “I see.” “What do you see?” Vérité stared at the carvings on the wooden door. What did she see? He would never fall in love? Had he loved Elspeth so much, he would never love another? She felt him press against her and his fingers gently traced her lips. “Look at me.” Reluctantly she lifted her head to meet his dark gaze. “You are my wife, Vérité, and as such you will always hold a place in my life that no other woman may share. I vow I shall not be an unfaithful husband by seeking another woman’s bed now that we are married. I can’t undo my past, but I can change my future. What else would you have of me?” Vérité watched his aura, reading the truth in his words. His vow was honest and it was the best she could hope for right now, though she might wish for more someday. Perhaps if she followed Emma’s advice she could tie him to her in ways other women had been unable to manage. After all, she was in no way overwhelmed by his passion. She wanted more of it. “I will have your promise of fidelity. It’s a good place to start.” “You have it, Vérité. Will I have yours?” “Yea. I vow it.” He nodded, a slow smile spreading over his handsome face. “Good. For I have plans for you. You’ve teased and taunted me enough for one day.” He lifted her circlet and veil from her head and set it on top of the clothes press. He walked over to the side of the bed and sat down, pulling off his boots and leaning back against the headboard. “Remove your clothes, my lady.”

138

Seeking Truth

Vérité shivered even though the room was now pleasantly warm. She had to be brave. He was fond of her looks so she could tease him with the knowledge. If she kept him off balance he’d never be the slightest bit tempted to break his vow of faithfulness. Vérité took off the belt that circled her hips then pulled the overdress off. It joined her veil and circlet on the top of the clothes press. Her underdress quickly followed. Wearing only her shift, she climbed onto the bed, crawling on her hands and knees up the bed until she settled on Eaduin’s lap. She pulled off the shift and threw it toward the foot of the bed. “Is this what you want, Eaduin?” “Fuck yes,” he growled, pulling her close to cover her mouth with his. When his fingers grasped her hair tight in his fist, Vérité whimpered. She clutched his velvet bliaut, kissing him back. She loved the way it felt to sit entirely naked before a man completely dressed. Wicked. Their tongues dueled until he used her hair to pull her head back so their mouths disengaged. Eaduin’s forceful touch had her wet and ready though he’d done no more than kiss her. His fingers dipped between her legs and he chuckled as he explored her wetness. “You desire to be mastered, don’t you, lady wife?” Vérité smiled up at him. “As much as you enjoy mastering me, my lord.” “I enjoy it very much, my lusty wench.” He ran his hands over her tingling breasts, tugging at her hard nipples. “Is it the cool air or the passion making these stand out?” “Perhaps both.” “Possibly. Let’s remedy the situation so we know full well it is the passion surging through your blood that draws your nipples to such tight points.” He lowered his head, sucking a nipple into his mouth. Feeling the pull of his mouth dragged a groan of pleasure from her. “Oh Eaduin. Yea.” He pulled his head away without releasing the suction of his mouth on her flesh. Her nipple stretched, throbbing painfully before it popped out of his mouth. “More, Eaduin.” “You want more, my lady? How much more do you want?” Vérité forced her eyes open and Emma’s words rolled through her mind. Beg him for pleasure and leave her dignity for court. There was wisdom in those words. She licked her lips. Leaning forward, she laid her hands on his hard chest. “Please. Torment my nipples the way you did last night. It felt so good.” His eyes narrowed as the flesh along his cheekbones flushed with arousal. Her begging had pleased him. If a little was good, more was better. “Please play with my bud. Fuck my cunt with your fingers. Give me a pleasure so intense I lose myself in your caress.” “I take you at your word, Vérité. You’ll see the heights of passion, for our explorations are just beginning, lady wife.” He lifted her off his lap, rolling her onto her

139

Francesca Hawley

back on the bed. He loomed over her, his eyes touring the contours of her body as he licked his lips. His clothes grazed her naked flesh, which only increased her hunger for more. Vérité wrapped an arm around his waist. As his lips traced the curves of her ears, she slid her fingers through his soft hair, holding him close. Light kisses teased her jaw as he made his way to her mouth. He sucked at her lips while his tongue flicked inside her open mouth. He tasted her, stroking her neck with his palms and fingers. Slowly his mouth made its way along her shoulders, over her sensitive breasts and onto her quivering belly. Finally a hand dipped into her cunt while the other reached behind to grasp her arse. He lifted his head to watch her as he squeezed her bottom, fingers slipping between the cheeks to tease the tender flesh of her bum. He explored her arse with one hand and used the other to spread her cunt folds apart that allowed him greater access to the tense, throbbing bud above her slit. She didn’t know which direction to move. The forefinger of one hand circled her arsehole, gently pressing inward while the thumb of his other hand drummed against the nub of sensitive flesh as he slid his fingers in and out of her cunt. Vérité felt as if a wave washed over her, taking her senses away. Or did it actually increase her senses. She was lost in the feelings clashing within her. Vérité knew she was moaning but had no sense of what she said. It was as if she listened to someone else as she begged Eaduin to take her. “Please, Eaduin. You’ve not been inside me since last night. I want your thick cock to fill me. Please. I beg you.” He chuckled in her ear, nipping the lobe. “Nay, my lady. I’ve been made to wait all day for the pleasure of sinking myself into your wet cunt and right now it’s not nearly wet enough to justify my torment.” “Your torment? What of mine?” “You at least gained release from our games in my steward’s office. I was forced to leave you without my cock getting inside. He ached with need, but I was forced to pretend I was in perfect charity with my daughter. And later… Throughout the midday meal you tortured me…” “But you did the same. In fact it was your idea.” “My lady, you try my patience with your ill-considered words. I think you need the spanking I promised you.” “Oh!” Vérité gasped, but not from shock or fear. Nay. His fingers invaded her arse, slipping just inside her. Should she enjoy this? Was it wrong? But it felt so good. She closed her eyes tight as his finger wormed its way farther inside her bum. “Now before you interrupted me, I was recounting how ill you’ve used me this day.” “But…” He bit her nipple and she whimpered.

140

Seeking Truth

“As we wandered the village you continued your attempts to bedevil me. You had a private talk with Emma and when I next see you, you suggest I bind you with leather straps, spank your gorgeous arse, and then you suck on a candle.” “I didn’t suck, I licked…” He pinched her slick nub between his fingers, tugging on it to make her cunt contract. Vérité arched off the bed, thrusting her hips upward, which succeeded in removing the torment to her bottom, but she was almost sorry. It had been so exciting…forbidden. He chuckled. “We’ve not done, my lady. Now I’m forced to begin again.” His mouth covered one of her nipples, sucking firmly. Again he pulled back until her tense nipple popped from his mouth then he bit her. It was maddening, but the sensation had her hips rocking with excitement. “Eaduin, please. Oh Heaven above, give me more!” “More of what?” “Your mouth. Your fingers. Your cock.” “You don’t get my cock yet, my sweet. You will have to earn him and your cunt has not begun to weep nearly enough for me to fill you.” “Eaduin…please,” Vérité whimpered as his fingers thrust in and out of her. She lifted her hips, moving with him. Straining toward him. “Very good. Pray continue your begging for it’s pleasing to my ears,” he growled. “We are private enough you can be as loud as you wish. In fact, I’ll look forward to the point when you aren’t just moaning in entreaty, you’re screaming with it.” His mouth covered hers as the idle hand resting against her arse slipped between her buttocks and again pressed for entry. The fingers buried in her cunt teased her deep inside and her hips rocked, which forced them back onto the finger poised to penetrate her bottom. Slowly he entered her there and she tensed. His finger paused in its advance into her arsehole while she adjusted to his touch. She jumped as he grasped one of her sensitive nipples with his teeth, tugging on it. Worrying it like a dog with a tasty bone. Meanwhile, between her trembling limbs he inserted more fingers spreading them to stretch her as he thrust them deep inside her slick sheath. She clawed at him in an attempt to divest him of his garments. Any of his garments. He growled, pulling his fingers out of her cunt to capture her grasping hands. Vérité whimpered for she hadn’t wanted him to cease the torment of her flesh. “Eaduin, don’t stop. Please…” “Then don’t try to tear off my clothes.” “But I want to touch you. Caress you.” His smile was an odd combination of gloating and tender. “Another time, my sweet. For now you will endure and enjoy.” “But, Eaduin…” She reached for him again. His pulled his other hand away from her bottom so she yelped in dismay. 141

Francesca Hawley

“So contrary.” He shook his head as if disappointed, but his eyes twinkled with pleasure. “There is only one way to attend to this problem, my lady.” He reached toward one of the bed posts, smiling as he caught hold of something, which he pulled up onto the blankets covering the bed. It was a leather strap. Vérité closed her eyes, fighting back a moan of excitement. “No, Eaduin…” “No? Look at me, Vérité.” She opened her eyes and stared into his. “What?” “No? Truly?” She bit her lips. Vérité knew he intended to bind her with the strap, but if she said no he would stop. She knew it as surely as she knew her own name. “I…” “Answer, Vérité. Do you object to our play? If so, tell me now. But if you enjoy it…” “If I enjoy it?” “Admit it, my lady.” His dark eyes were earnest and hungry. He was so beautiful and his intensity made her cunt throb. She could feel the juices dampen her thighs. She wanted him with everything in her. “I…” “Yes, Vérité?” “I enjoy it,” she whispered, looking away as heat filled her face. He caught her chin in his hand, turning her gently to meet his eyes. “Are you ready to venture further in play with me?” She nodded. He closed his eyes as he released a breath of relief she hadn’t realized he was holding. “Good. Now lift your hands above your head, palms together.” Shivering with hunger, Vérité obeyed. She watched Eaduin as he looped the buttersoft leather strap expertly around her wrists and bound her to the bed post. Once he had her secured, he stood beside the bed. “Eaduin, don’t leave me.” “Oh, I’m not leaving. I wouldn’t dream of it. I’m savoring, my lady, for you make a beautiful picture there on my bed. Wet and ready for me.” He pulled the bliaut over his head, tossing it on top of her clothing. He removed both the undertunic and trews until he stood nude before her. She had wondered if he was unaffected by their play, but now she could see he was roused and as ready for her as she was for him. She opened her legs and lifted her hips upward in silent appeal. He reached down to stroke his length. “Is this what you want?” “Yea, Eaduin. Please fuck me!” “Not yet. You teased me mercilessly woman. Now I shall return the favor.” “But, Eaduin. I sought only to please you.”

142

Seeking Truth

“Denying your cunt to me was done to please me?” “But I didn’t deny you…” “Did you not? Was I allowed to slide my cock into your wet sheath when I awoke this morning? Nay! You weren’t there, though the bed was warm and fragrant with your scent.” He stalked over to the bed, climbing onto the mattress beside her. He leaned over her, staring into her eyes. “But I needed to go see Judith.” “Yea, but it did not take you all morning. I’m given to understand when you discovered Judith slept soundly you didn’t return to my bed. You went to the garden instead.” “Who told you?” Eaduin smiled. “So I’m right? Vérité, I’m disappointed in you. So disappointed I’m forced to punish you.” Vérité licked her lips, hoping he meant what she prayed he meant. Would he spank her? He palmed her breast, plucking at the nipple. She shivered. “What do you have to say for yourself, lady wife?” “Please?” she squeaked. He laughed, his eyes crinkling with humor. “Please spank you? Or please don’t?” “Um…” He began to pull away. No, he couldn’t stop now. She wouldn’t let him. “Please spank me, Eaduin, that I may show true repentance.” His smile widened. “Turn over.” “But how?” “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

143

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Twenty Vérité couldn’t take her eyes off him as he stroked his hard cock. A pearly discharge glistened on the deep-rose-colored tip of his cock as he fondled himself. She wanted to lick his cock and draw more of the fluid from him. “I’m waiting, my lady,” he growled. She scooted toward the headboard to which she was bound then rolled onto her belly. She eased up onto her knees, settling as comfortably as she could. When he caressed her buttocks with the palm of his hand, she jumped. What was he doing? Vérité had expected a slap, but instead he softly stroked her quivering bottom. She glanced over her shoulder to see what he was doing. “Nay, my lady. Turn your head to face the wall or I’ll blindfold you.” Vérité blinked, unbearably aflame at the thought of being unable to see his actions. “But…” He shook his head. “Such a disobedient wife you are.” He climbed off the bed, rifling through the garments lying on top of the clothes press. “Ah-ha. This is what I need.” He turned toward her brandishing her veil. He carefully folded it until it was a narrow strip yet still wide enough to cover her eyes. Eaduin rejoined her on the bed then carefully covered her eyes with the length of linen, tying it behind her head. Vérité tried to see but the fabric well and truly blinded her to anything but his touch and the sound of him beside her. She shivered as his fingers traced the curves of her buttocks, dipping between to toy with her. She spread her knees wider apart and lifted her arse toward him. He answered her silent request by running his fingers along the crack of her cheeks. The tickle of his fingers made her jump, yet she wanted more. She moaned, raising her arse yet higher signaling her hunger. He started to pull his fingers from her but she whimpered, pushing her bottom toward him. His chuckle sounded rough. Excited. “I knew it.” Before she could ask what he knew, she felt his tongue teasing her arsehole. She jumped. Despite the shock of feeling his tongue in a place she never expected to feel one, she pushed back because it set her on fire. She moaned helplessly. “Oh Eaduin.” She arched into the press of his tongue against her bum. Forbidden. Yet she craved more. “This is wrong.” “Yea, but it feels so right.” He growled as he eased a finger into her bottom. He bit her buttock, slowly tightening his teeth careful to only tug, but not break, the skin. Still his finger wormed up inside her arsehole. When he released the bite, he brought his free hand down in a

144

Seeking Truth

stinging slap right on the spot he’d bit while his other hand continued its invasion of her body. Vérité shivered as heat spread over her buttock, radiating from the slap. His hand came down on her other cheek. Hard. Burning into her flesh. Again and again, alternating back and forth. First left then right. “Yea! Don’t stop!” She shuddered, lifting her bottom for another blow. At first she felt only heat then as she lifted her arse for yet another blow, she felt the heat slowly spread. It expanded from her buttocks to her cunt until she was dripping with need. Throbbing with excitement. “More. Eaduin, more.” “More?” “Please. I beg you. Oh God in Heaven. Give me all!” “Yea, I will.” He pulled his finger out of her bottom despite how she clamped down on him to prevent it. But when she felt his finger press against her again, she relaxed and opened for him. Just as he pressed his finger into her, he slapped her arse. She screeched, lifting her hips in her excitement to push back to aid his invasion of her arsehole. She gasped as she realized the invasion wasn’t just one finger. Nay, this time, she felt three fingers buried in her bottom. She tightened in confusion and he halted his advance. She took a deep breath but before she could relax completely, he returned to spanking her pulsing buttocks. “Heavens above. Eaduin!” “Do you like the game, my lady?” He flexed the three fingers with which he penetrated her. They were buried deep inside her. When he’d pressed forward, she didn’t know, but he stretched her bottom and she loved it. She never saw him do this to Emma, yet he must have learned it somewhere. Wherever he learned it, she thanked God he chose to torment her with his skills. He slapped her bottom again. “Answer my questions, please.” “Yea, I do.” “I thought you would. I do too.” She felt his knees press against the inside of hers, forcing them wider so her hips tipped upward. The nudge of his cock against her slick cunt had her thrusting back toward him, which served only to drive his fingers farther up her arse. She moaned, for her intent had been to capture his cock in her cunt. “Do you want my cock, Vérité?” “Yea, Eaduin.” “How much do you want it?” “Very much.”

145

Francesca Hawley

“What will you give me for the pleasure of my cock inside you?” “What can I give you? I have nothing.” “Ah, but you do. Will you give me your cunt every morning?” “Yea.” “And every night?” “I will. Whenever you want it. Oh please fuck me, Eaduin. Please!” “Very well. But make no moves with your hips. Wait for my pleasure.” “But…” He slapped her arse. “Obey me. Open and waiting. No movement, Vérité, or I won’t take you.” “Yea, my lord.” “Good.” Vérité strained her ears, listening for him but he didn’t stir. All she could hear was the wind in the trees outside the hut and their harsh breathing inside the room. Her skin felt stretched painfully thin. When would he take her? She shifted. “Vérité.” He slapped her bottom again. She bit her lip as the heat spread over her arse making her bud pulse with the pounding of her heart. Finally, when she thought she might scream, she felt the head of his cock graze the folds of her sex. She lifted her hips but he withdrew. “Nay, Eaduin. Please.” “What did I tell you, my lady?” “Not to move.” “What did you do?” “I moved.” “Your disobedience is tormenting us both. Do not move.” Vérité shivered, panting with exhilaration as she waited for him to take her. Finally she felt him edge against her. She bit her lip to keep from thrusting back at him. It was hellish torment to remain still but this time she obeyed. “Good, my lady. Very good.” She heard him take a deep breath then slide the head of his cock along her sensitive flesh. She moaned, but still she waited for his pleasure. The fingers he had buried in her arse were eased out of her. He pushed back into her body while his cock continued its torment within the folds of her sex. “Eaduin, please take me. I want you inside me.” “Not yet.” “I need you. I need to be filled with you.” “Not yet.” He slapped her buttocks again, making her shiver as he trailed his cock back and forth, teasing the sensitive damp flesh. When he nudged her bud with the

146

Seeking Truth

head of his cock, she screamed, unable to stop herself from arching her hips toward him. He pulled his cock away and brought his palm down in a stinging slap against her arse cheek. “Each time you disobey, we begin again, Vérité, and my patience is wearing thin.” “I’m sorry, but I need you,” she cried. “Then wait for me. Hold yourself utterly still. Only then will I take you. Do you understand me, lady wife?” “I do.” “Good.” A wife was supposed to obey her husband, the Church commanded it. Somehow she didn’t think the Church would command her submission in the way Eaduin demanded. Nevertheless, her submission was exactly what she wanted to give to him. What was wrong with her? Why did she enjoy the way he used her? Craved it, even. She wanted him to possess her utterly. Repeatedly. She ached with need. When would he finally take her? He was driving her mad. Vérité listened but she couldn’t tell what he was doing, though she felt the bed shift under them. She jerked when his fingers pinched then released one of her nipples, so he slapped her bottom in reproach. “No movement. None,” he growled, pulling his fingers from her arse. “Eaduin, no!” “No?” “Don’t stop.” “Then remain still, Vérité. That is all you need do.” “But you startled me.” “You know I’m here. What is so startling?” “Having my nipple pinched.” He chuckled. The deep tones of his voice sent fire deep into her cunt making her body weep for him. “Learn to accept, my sweet.” “Oh you’re a wretch. How can you torment me so?” “Frustration increases your desire for me.” A single fingertip stroked a fiery path down the length of her spine then between her tense buttocks. He paused at her arsehole, his finger caressing the tight ring of flesh. She waited for him to sink into her, but instead his tongue swiped against where his finger rested. Eaduin’s tongue flicked against her, dragging a labored moan from her throat. She trembled, clutching the leather strap in her hands and fought against any movement. It took every ounce of control she possessed not to rock against his mouth for she loved the way he lapped at her. She didn’t want him to stop so she froze in place. Enduring the unendurable.

147

Francesca Hawley

“Oh God in Heaven,” she breathed as his tongue flicked against her arsehole, teasing her most sensitive and forbidden of places. She moaned, unable to force a single word from her lips. The more he licked, the more her body vibrated in recognition of its master. Eaduin knew how to turn her inside out, to make her beg for more, and she loved the way it felt. Loved the sensations coursing through her body. Loved the way he controlled her. A droplet of sweat trailed its way down her damp back, coming to rest in the curve at the small of her back. Even her own body conspired against her for the sensation of the droplet left tingles in its wake. The tingles expanded to where Eaduin’s tongue continued to tease her. She shivered as her arsehole relaxed into his ministrations, but she remained rigidly still under his oral assault on her sanity. He must not stop. Slowly his fingers began an in and out rhythm while he continued to lick her. Never had she experienced such feelings. It almost felt as if she were ready to come, but one couldn’t reach climax through their arse, could they? Vérité shivered as Eaduin lifted his head away from her but continued to penetrate her arse with his fingers. Would he count her shiver as movement? She prayed not. If he stopped now, she just might kill him! “Just a few moments longer, my sweet. Stay still just a bit longer and you will be rewarded for your obedience.” She groaned, unable to speak, her head dropping downward. Oh God, she’d moved. Would he stop? Nay. She breathed as sigh of relief as he continued his teasing. The hard slap on her buttock came from nowhere and she shrieked. Again he smacked her bottom and a wild fire spread through her body. As the blows rained down on her bottom, his fingers invaded her arsehole, sinking deeply inside her. But she didn’t move. Would…not. She must have more of him. Her nipples were tight with need and excitement while her bud throbbed incessantly between her legs—crying out demandingly as a cranky baby. She wanted him to stroke it, but she couldn’t even beg for she had no words. Her thighs were damp with sweat and her juices. Under her blindfold her eyes were squeezed closed and every muscle in her body was tense in an effort to remain still. If she could just hold on for a bit more… Maybe then he would fuck her. Eaduin commenced a steady rhythm of penetration, sliding his fingers in and out of her grasping arsehole. He added the torment and excitement of his tongue flaying the spot where he sunk into her. She mewled helplessly, aching with the need to thrust back. “Eaduin, please,” she whimpered, her words barely escaping loudly enough for her to hear herself. Had he heard her? Pray God he had for she could barely breathe. “Almost, my sweet. Just a bit more.” Her fingernails dug into the leather as she fought her desire, holding back. When he applied suction with his mouth to her most private spot, she shattered with a cry. No longer could she fight the natural movement of her body as climax poured over her. She

148

Seeking Truth

thrust back against his mouth and fingers, barely registering his deep-throated chuckle. Praise God, he didn’t stop. Nay. Eaduin pushed her still higher, spanking her arse, thrusting his fingers and suckling at her arsehole. She pushed her hips back to him, silently begging him for more. Lifting her bottom in entreaty, spreading her legs to ease his access. Her nub pulsed hungrily while her cunt tried to grasp a cock that wasn’t there. But then suddenly it was. The head of his cock flirted with her cunt. Teasing at the trembling edges of her flesh. “Oh God, Eaduin, yea. Fuck me. Pray God, fuck me!” She expected him to surge into her for she was ready for it. Wanted it. But he continued to torment the slick folds of her body, nudging just into the entry before easing out again. Over and over only the head of his shaft entered before sliding out again. “Is this what you want, my sweet?” “Nay!” “Nay? Then I’ll stop.” He withdrew his cock. “Eaduin! Don’t stop. Please don’t stop. Fill me. Fuck me. Fuck me hard!” She arched her hips toward where she thought his waited, gratified to feel the slick head of his cock graze her thigh. He returned to the shallow penetrations of her cunt, easing in and out just barely touching her. Vérité thrust back at him, seeking him with her open, aching cunt but time and again he eluded her. Though his fingers remained buried deeply in her arse, he didn’t thrust them in and out thereby denying her the friction she so desperately needed. She had to have more of him. “Eaduin, what would you have me do? Please, I beg you. I will do whatever you ask if you will just fuck me!” “Whatever I ask?” “Yea.” “Ah, my lady, how trusting you are.” “Eaduin! Take me. For pity’s sake, take me!” “Not for pity’s sake.” “Oh God, Eaduin, please.” “I won’t take you for pity’s sake but for mine. I want you so badly I ache.” “Yea!” Vérité whimpered as his cock stretched her cunt to take him. With painful slowness he entered her. Unable to bear the wait, she thrust back toward him but he slapped her buttocks. “Remain still. Do not move.” “But…” A sharp slap silenced her. “If you move, I’ll pull out. If I pull out, I will be most seriously displeased. Do you understand me?”

149

Francesca Hawley

“Yea, Eaduin. I understand.” “Good.” Vérité took gasping breaths, forcing her body to stillness again. She had to have his cock, and if this was what she had to do to gain it, she would. He advanced again, his cock sliding into her. She felt each and every inch of his cock edge inside. Never had she been aware of the smallest movement before. Every pause he made set her whimpering. Every forward movement made her cunt open to gather more of him inside her. Finally he hilted in her. She could feel the scratchy hair at the base of his cock rub her damp, sensitive flesh. While he remained buried deep inside her, he continued playing with her arse. His fingers eased deep then pulled out. Her excitement grew until she was gasping in an effort to catch her breath. When she thought he could torment her no more, he alternated the thrust of his fingers with his cock. He withdrew his cock from her cunt as he inserted fingers into her arse then he penetrated her cunt with his cock as his fingers retreated from her arse. She groaned, trembling like a leaf in the wind as she fought her instinct to move with him. She’d become so focused on his cock and one hand, she had forgot he possessed a second hand. A fact of which he made good use, for she jumped when she felt his other hand slip between her lower lips to tweak her bud. He pinched and pulled at it then started a slow circular massage, driving her mad with need. “Eaduin, please may I move. I want to fuck you!” “Nay, not yet. The greater your frustration, the greater your pleasure.” “I am highly frustrated and not the least bit pleased, damn you!” She bit her lip when she realized she’d just sworn at him. She expected him to become angry, instead he chuckled as if he was well pleased with her. What a strange man she’d married. “Eaduin!” “Hold on for just a bit longer, my sweet. It will be worth the wait.” She moaned, lowering her head and forcing herself to endure. Every movement he made was slow and measured when all she wanted was for him to pound in and out of her until she shattered into tiny pieces. He continued his three-pronged attack on her senses. In with fingers, out with cock—out with fingers, in with cock—all the while he massaged her bud. He leaned toward her and began to kiss and lick the back of her neck and shoulders. She arched back to make herself easier to reach. Feeling the hair on his chest rub her back and the roughness of his beard against the skin of her shoulders added new dimensions to her arousal. She loved the feel of him. She loved the smell of him. Of the two of them together. Vérité licked her lips. How could she love this torment? Yet she did. Eaduin took his time with her and the entirety of his focus was on her and her alone. It was heady to know she had his full attention. His absolute concentration. To know, that for this moment in time, nothing existed for him but her. She sighed, clasping him tight with her inner muscles, holding 150

Seeking Truth

him in the only way she had open to her. Vérité never wanted this to end. He could fuck her all night. He could fuck her for days on end and it would never be enough. He pressed a gentle kiss to the side of her neck. “Very good, my sweet. You are learning and your obedience pleases me.” She shivered, excited by his praise. A part of her watched herself in shock. Never in her life had she willingly given her obedience to anyone. Not even to God. Yet she gave it to Eaduin. Again she wondered how something so wrong felt so right. Eaduin began to increase the pace of his entry. Vérité moaned, opening her cunt to him when he reentered and clenching tight on him as he withdrew. Her belly tightened with the force of impending release. She had begun to recognize the feeling now. Eaduin didn’t hurry though. He built her tension in increments. Increasing speed so at first she didn’t realize what he was doing. She heard him gasp and felt a drop of his sweat land on the middle of her back. His control must be absolute, for as his groans grew more audible he sounded like a man in grave pain. Still, he moved with a deliberateness she almost envied. “Eaduin, please fuck me. Let me move with you. I want to feel you plunging in and out of me. Pound me into the bed with your cock. Please.” “Damn it, Vérité. Hush!” he growled. He was reaching the limits of his control thank God. If she could just push him over… “Fuck me. Ram your thick cock into me until I can’t move. Until I can only open to you and wait on your pleasure. Fill me over and over again. Shoot your cream inside of me, Eaduin. Please. I beg you.” He roared, and his control shattered. She shrieked when he pulled out the fingers he had buried in her arse to grasp her waist then moaned when he began to pump vigorously into her sheath. She could hear the slap of his body as her cunt began to spasm on him due to the friction of his cock. She was so close to release. “Eaduin, may I move? Please. I want to fuck you back.” He grasped her hips. “Yea, damn you. Fuck me back. Give me the ride of my life!” “Oh God in Heaven, I will!” Vérité thrust onto him, arching her back. She met his every plunge. Her arse and cunt on fire with need. She tightened on him with each thrust. When he brought his free hand back to her bud and started to flick and rub at her, she screamed. Her body shuddered as release rolled through her. Fire spread from the center of her body to every part of her. She sobbed, forcing herself repeatedly onto his marauding cock. She took all of him, reveling in the sense of owning his cock with her cunt. It belonged to her now. He leaned forward, pressing himself against her back. He caught her hair in his hand, drawing her face back. Eaduin covered her mouth with his, growling in his excitement while she continued to shudder in release. Her cunt fluttered up and down his cock as he pumped into her. The muscles of his belly were tight as was every other muscle in his body. His very tenseness told her how hard he fought his climax, trying to 151

Francesca Hawley

drag out the pleasure for them both. Vérité was determined to have him with her. She wanted his cum deep inside her. Vérité flexed her inner muscles, regaining minimal control then she began to clench on him. Holding him tight as he fucked her. He groaned and bit her shoulder. When he realized he was biting her, he let go and buried his head between her shoulder blades. He kissed the back of her neck, thrusting hard, fast and deep inside her. Again she clamped down on him. She wanted to feel his release. To feel him lose control and give her all of him. Vérité focused her attention on her cunt, grasping and releasing him in rapid succession. Milking him. She whimpered. Using her muscles with such concentration brought her to another release. When she began to climax, he roared. Eaduin grasped her hips with both hands and plunged deep inside her. He held her tight against him and she felt his cock jerk deep inside her. As his seed shot from his body into hers, Vérité moaned, losing control of the pulsing in her cunt. Her sheath fluttered around him as he thrust deep to release his pleasure. It felt so good to accept him. All of him. He clung to her, their damp bodies pressed together as the final tremors ebbed through them. Finally they collapsed together in a tangled heap. Eaduin gathered her close, stroking her gently as he pressed kisses against the back of her neck. His breath against her neck made her shiver. His body generated as much heat as a strong fire, so she felt no cold. She only felt Eaduin’s closeness and protection. Her eyes were still covered and her hands were still bound, yet she felt cherished. As if she had pleased him greatly with her obedience and trust in him. And she did trust him. She knew without doubt he would never hurt her nor would he ever go where she was unable to follow. Vérité froze as she considered her thoughts. She couldn’t be falling in love with him, could she? Nay. It was gratitude for the pleasure he gave her, the respect in which he held her as healer, and the freedom he’d afforded her by marriage. No more. She could not love him. She would not love when she knew she had no hope of such feelings ever being returned. His touch was gentle as he ran his palm over her arm. “Vérité, are you all right? You seem disturbed.” “Nay. I’m not, Eaduin.” He loosened her bonds then removed her blindfold before turning her body toward his. Eaduin stared down into her eyes, running gentle fingertips over her cheekbone and lips. He dropped a soft kiss on her lips. “You’re vexed, Vérité. Don’t lie to me. What troubles you so? Is it what we did together?” Vérité blinked at his genuine concern. He wanted her to be pleased—she could see it in his aura. The idea she might be upset bothered him. She reached up to cup his cheek, unable to remain aloof. She didn’t want to feel this way, yet how could she help herself? He was a good man. His care and kindness with Judith proved it to her.

152

Seeking Truth

“I am not troubled by our play in the marriage bed. Even though the Church would be most displeased with both of us.” Eaduin’s lips quirked. “I revere God with all my heart, but I would be most contented if the Church would keep its nose out of my bed.” “Eaduin!” He chuckled. “Sacrilege. Yea, I know. Nevertheless, it is how I feel.” She sighed. “Even so, we should confess.” “I’ll not confess for this was between us, but you must do as your conscience tells you.” Vérité looked into his dark eyes and realized she had no intent of trying to explain their actions to the priest. If she chose, she could confess to unbridled desires for such was the truth. She desired Eaduin with every fiber of her being. Even after such an intense experience, she would welcome him again if he gave the least indication of intent. She would never have enough of him. Vérité wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him down to her to kiss her. Eaduin smiled. He caressed her gently, kissing her to maintain a connection between them. He was such a study in contrasts. In the midst of fucking, he could paddle her arse with abandon but in the aftermath of the experience he was a tender lover. Kind. Gentle. Who was he? Vérité cuddled against him, pressing her head against his shoulder and wrapping her arms around him as their limbs entwined. He held her close, running his hands along her body in long, slow strokes. She quivered as he softly caressed her breasts then smiled as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “We’re well matched, lady wife.” “Do you think so?” “I know so.” He trailed his lips over hers, sharing her breath. “Never has a woman responded so ardently to me.” “Even Emma?” He tipped up her chin. “Even Emma. Put to rest your concern over Mistress Emma right now, Vérité. She’s a good woman, but she never matched me in bed the way you do.” “But she has more experience.” “True. But I was too much for her.” He looked into her eyes. “I think though, I may not be too much for you. I pray not.” “Because we’re bound together?” He smiled. “Perhaps. Or perhaps it’s because I want to please you.” He traced a path with his finger along her eyebrow, down her nose and over her lips. He leaned forward to kiss her again. “Do you want to please me, Eaduin?”

153

Francesca Hawley

“Yea, my lady. I do.” “I want to please you too.” “Then we are indeed well matched, Vérité, though we’d best not tell Judith.” “Why ever not?” “I hate it when she gloats. It’s her most unattractive trait and she gloats most loudly.” Vérité giggled. “Then by all means, let us prevent her from gloating.” She paused, a shiver running down her spine as she thought of Judith. “We’ve been gone too long, Eaduin.” “Does she have medicine?” “Yea, I left medicine with Bronwen but I must check on her.” Vérité sat up. “I think I should check on her as soon as possible.” She bit her lip, worried she was revealing too much. She saw truth always, but on occasion she had flashes of the immediate future. Judith would need her…soon. Eaduin nodded and rose to dress, handing her clothing. “Very well, Vérité. Healers can often sense what others cannot. Let us go make sure Judith is well.” Eaduin didn’t remain apart from her. He poured water from an ewer into a bowl so they could wash then helped dress. He asked for her help to dress as well, pulling her close to kiss her again. Vérité pressed against him, wishing they didn’t have to leave their pleasant afternoon idyll, but the sense of urgency she felt was growing. Judith needed her. Vérité straightened the room while Eaduin banked the fire then they left the crofter’s hut. She looked back with a sigh. He hugged her, smiling down at her. “We’ll come back another day.” “Do you promise?” “Yea.” “I wish we had a horse.” “Fear not, I know a shortcut back up to the castle from here.” Vérité chuckled. “I’m sure you do. Lead on then.”

154

Seeking Truth

Chapter Twenty-One As they neared the castle entrance, Eaduin looked down at Vérité. Though concerned about Judith, she was relaxed and affectionate with him. No woman in his adult life, other than his foster mother, made him feel so accepted. As they walked, he enjoyed the way their strides matched and gained pleasure by walking hand in hand with his lady. Vérité was a mystery to him. She was so very different from all the women in his past. With Elspeth, he had never been free to let himself experience the intensity he’d found with Vérité. His first wife required carefulness and gentleness during lovemaking which was foreign to him. Elspeth had obeyed out of fear, which left him filled with disquiet. Her fear made him feel filthy. Base. Vile. Vérité pressed close to his side as he helped her over stones on the climb up the hill to a postern gate in the inner bailey wall. The entry was fortified and thoroughly guarded, but his men-at-arms were well used to seeing him here. She smiled up at him in thanks for his aid. Her face glowed and her eyes sparkled with a warmth that cheered him, reflecting kindness and trust, not fear. His life had been a strange one. Through the years, a few of his lovers had been widowed ladies or married ladies seeking pleasure outside their lord’s bed. Their obedience was a courtly game and a new experience they could dismiss when it no longer pleased them. Most of his lovers had been common women who obeyed more from habit than because they truly sought to please him. He was their lord so obedience was required. Only after sharing his bed did a daring few enjoy his attentions enough they would have remained with him whether he was a lord or not. He looked down at his wife. Her hair appeared windblown as a result of their lovemaking, yet she looked beautiful. When had he grown so emotional? Was Judith right? Did he already love this passionate, caring woman? He prayed not, for love wasn’t safe. It brought risk and pain. His own life proved it. Eaduin loved Judith and he would soon lose her. When she died, he would feel as though his gut had been sliced open. Then there was Isolda. Though her current actions vexed him, her departure to marry had been a wrenching loss. He still missed her. “You are pensive, Eaduin.” He smiled. “I suppose I am. My life has changed beyond recognition.” “Are you unhappy?”

155

Francesca Hawley

He thought about losing Judith. “Yea. Would you not be?” He walked two steps before he realized she’d stopped. Eaduin turned to find her staring down the hill, her hands pressed tightly together. “Vérité? What is wrong?” She turned to him her eyes blinking rapidly and a painfully forced smile on her face. “Nothing whatever. We should hurry.” She turned and strode on, nearly running away from him. He scowled at her fleeing back, wondering what had caused her sudden coldness and withdrawal. Her shoulders shuddered and her head dropped, but she forged onward toward the sally port at the top of the hill. His eyes narrowed, noting her posture didn’t fit her semblance of coldness. Damn it, she was crying. He ran after her, catching her arm and turning her to face him. She stared at his feet to hide her face. “Vérité look at me.” “Let us go, my lord. We have lingered too long.” Her voice was thick…with tears. He tipped up her chin, dismayed to discover he’d been right. Tears trailed over her cheeks and her eyes were filled with sadness. “Vérité, why are you crying?” She gave him a bitter smile. “Sentimentality, my lord. Nothing more. Pray let us return. Judith is in need of my skills even if you are not.” He caught her before she could turn away. “Why would you think I do not need your skills?” “It is of no moment. Please let me go. You’ve done using me for now.” He froze, a shaft of pain piercing him through as though he’d suffered a sword wound. “Use you? When did I use you? My lady, explain yourself.” Her jaw clenched and she stared at his shoulder. How had he so misjudged her? She seemed determined to withdraw from him, so he studied her face and saw…hurt. Somehow, he hurt her. Between one step and the next she had gone from affectionate to withdrawn. What the devil had he said? Eaduin thought back over their conversation, remembering. Damn. He’d said he was unhappy because of the changes in his life. He closed his eyes. Could he be any more of an idiot? “I didn’t mean you.” “I don’t understand.” He chuckled, groaning when she stiffened and tried to pull away. “I said I was unhappy.” She shrugged. “My thoughts were filled with Judith. She will leave me and I don’t wish her to go, but God will take her regardless. Then you asked if I was unhappy, so of course I said yea.” Vérité studied him as she often did with a gaze that made him uncomfortable with its fierceness. “You speak truth.” “Yea. I wasn’t considering the changes wrought by marrying you. I was imagining the changes which will come to pass after Judith’s death.”

156

Seeking Truth

Eaduin gently wiped tears from her cheek then lowered his head to brush her lips with his before deepening the kiss. Vérité wrapped her arms around him, shuddering she buried her face against his shoulder and he gathered her close. Injuring her had been the furthest thing from his mind, yet he had managed it. “Forgive me for hurting you,” he whispered as he lifted his head. She met his eyes, finally nodding. A strand of hair blew across her face, so he caught it, tucking it behind her ear. “I did not think before I spoke. Or perhaps I thought before I spoke without explaining my thoughts. Either way, I apologize.” “Apology accepted. I should not have been so quick to take offense.” She tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let her. “We have just been together in a deeply intimate way then with no more wit than a fool, I told you I was unhappy.” Eaduin shook his head in disgust at himself. “If you hadn’t taken offense, I would be disturbed at how little the thoughtless words mattered to you.” Vérité cocked her head, a crooked smile on her face. “Very well. We should move on for we are needed at the castle.” He turned with her to continue their climb. When she would have drawn away from him, he held tight, tucking her close to his side. He had no intention of losing the closeness they had established simply because he’d been absorbed in his misery. Nay, he would make sure she knew her value to him. The postern gate was closed and barred when they reached it so Eaduin called up to the guards above. A man pelted down to open the gate for them, staring wide-eyed as they slipped through. Eaduin hid a smile for this was a new man, unfamiliar with his lord’s frequent use of the gate in the past. He and Vérité made the final twisting climb upward then crossed the postern courtyard to enter the castle, coming to a stop in the bustling great hall. All activity came to an abrupt halt when they were noticed. Upon catching sight of them, Isolda, who had been pacing by the fireplace, stalked across the room to plant herself directly in front of him with her arms crossed over her chest. “Where have you been?” Eaduin raised his brows, studying her. Since when did she decide she was his parent? He grinned and reached over to her dark hair, plucking a piece of straw from her raven locks to twirl it in front of her. “Perhaps, Daughter, I should ask where you’ve been.” Isolda grabbed the straw from his hand, throwing a glare at her blushing husband before taking a deep breath to face him down. “You were needed at the castle.” “Why?” “Judith is in pain again.” Vérité groaned. “I knew it.”

157

Francesca Hawley

She pulled away from him, and he watched her run across the hall and up the stairs. Eaduin sighed, feeling as though the sun had been covered by clouds. This woman he married was becoming far too important to him, but he couldn’t change it now. It was too late, for she had already carved a place for herself in his soul and she would be the mother of his sons. God in Heaven. His eyes flew to the top of the stairs to follow her fleeing figure, watching until she disappeared into the upper hallway. Judith had said Vérité would be the mother of his sons and he had totally missed it. But Judith had made a further point. Vérité would give him sons only so long as he didn’t destroy those most fragile of shoots which now grew between them. Trust and love. Eaduin looked into his daughter’s face where confusion reigned and smiled gently at her. He prayed he would love his sons as much as he loved his fierce, contrary daughter. He pressed a kiss to her forehead then followed Vérité up the stairs to see Judith. As he neared Judith’s room, he saw Godwin leaning against the wall. Eaduin paused to set a hand on his shoulder. “Is she bad?” “Not yet. Your return is timely.” “Then why do you look as though the world is ended.” “The pain returns more and more frequently after shorter amounts of time. I knew she would die, I just…” Godwin shook his head, pressing his face into his hands. “I know. She may leave us, but we didn’t expect it so soon.” Godwin lifted his face and nodded. “Yea. Mother has always been so strong yet now. I hate it. I hate her pain and her fear.” “She doesn’t fear death.” “Nay. You are right. It isn’t death she fears. It’s the getting there. She fears the agony she now faces daily.” Godwin met his eyes. “Thank you for bearing the brunt of it. I know it’s been hell for you, but I’m not sure I have the strength to help her.” “You do, Brother. I know it. When you most need it, you’ll find it.” Eaduin gave his younger brother a brief hug then entered the solar where Vérité ministered to Judith. She sat on the side of the bed helping Judith to drink. Eaduin approached the bed and met Vérité’s concerned gaze. “I’ve gone back to the syrup of poppies with hemlock. I think we will be best served to vary the medicine given so both remain effective.” “There is a danger they will lose their efficacy?” “It can happen. The body can become used to a medicine used repeatedly.” She looked at Judith. “Is the pain beginning to yield?” Judith leaned back, taking a deep breath. “Yea. The pain eases. My wits have left me, for I should have considered overusing the same medicine would make it less useful.” “You can’t be expected to remember everything, Judith.” 158

Seeking Truth

“I used to know these things. Where has my wisdom gone?” Vérité hugged Judith. “Your wisdom remains, but the medicines and your pain both take their toll on your ability to reason. Don’t torment yourself so. Allow me to do the job for which Eaduin married me.” “Is that why you married her, my son?” Judith asked archly. Eaduin stiffened. Damn it. He had married her to be the healer, but his reasons were swiftly being reordered. Acting as healer was no longer her primary purpose in this castle, being his lady was. Yet how could he tell her? She would never believe him and with good reason. He wouldn’t if he were her. The feelings surging through him should not be present after barely two days and yet… He opened his mouth to admit the truth when Vérité spoke. “Don’t tease him, Judith. Of course he married me to be the healer here. He has no other purpose for me.” Eaduin couldn’t keep the scowl from his face. “I believe we’ve already had this discussion, my lady.” Vérité blushed. “Yea. My primary duty is as your healer.” “Your primary duty is as my wife, Vérité.” Her eyes flew to his. “But…” “Children, I think this conversation would be best conducted with privacy between you.” Eaduin jumped, finally noticing the woman in the corner of the room. It was Mother Anne. What the devil was the reverend mother doing here? She smiled at him. “I came to pay my respects to Mistress Judith but I also bring Lady Vérité’s dower goods.” “Your brother was quite busy lass, and Lord Falc’ did himself proud. Such finery I’ve not heard of in many a year.” Judith grinned at them both. Vérité looked up at Eaduin in confusion for he could see she truly had no knowledge of her worth. Somehow he knew he would be dismayed at the amount and quality of items Mother Anne brought with her. Even worse, King Stephen would be seriously displeased with him. For the first time in a very long time though, he didn’t care to please anyone but himself. Vérité belonged to him. He wouldn’t let her go on the whim of a father, a brother, or even a king. “Judith, are you well enough now to allow us to view this bountiful treasure?” She sighed, leaning back in bed. “Yea. I’m already finding sleep beckoning me. Go show her the dowry, Reverend Mother. I can await your return in comfort now.” “Are you quite sure?” Mother Anne asked, crossing over to sit at her sister’s side. “I am, though I wish I could see the look on the girl’s face. And on Eaduin’s,” she chuckled. “We could have it brought here.” Judith smiled and patted her sister’s hand. “Nay, Anne. I will be asleep in moments.” She gave Mother Anne a hug then looked to him, beckoning him close. Vérité and the reverend mother rose to wait by the door. 159

Francesca Hawley

“Yea?” Eaduin sat beside her, and she leaned close to hold him. He clasped her to his breast. “What I said finally sunk in to your thick head did it?” she whispered. “Sons?” he murmured back. “Yea.” “It did. You’re certain?” “I am.” “Only sons?” he asked, hoping for at least one more daughter. Judith chuckled, patting his cheek. “Nay, not just sons. But you must guard her well. Make the right choice and you will find true joy in your life, Eaduin. I beg you to choose well.” He held her close, rocking her slowly into sleep as he used to do with Isolda. When he was certain she slept, he laid her back on her pillows, covering her gently. He felt a sense of relief Vérité hadn’t overheard as he joined the two women at the door. Vérité already thought he had little use for her. He had no wish for her to believe he pursued her solely because Judith told him she would give him sons. Vérité was more to him than a fertile womb. When it had become so and how, he knew not. He only knew it with every ounce of his being. He prayed Judith was right, not only about children but about attaining joy. Joy had been sadly lacking in his life and he was due a heaping measure. “Shall we go look at the bounty provided by Lord Falc’?” he asked. “Now would be a very good time,” Mother Anne agreed. “Especially as it needs unloading. I hope you have a strong back, my lord.” Eaduin laughed, following the reverend mother and Vérité from the room. Eaduin took Vérité’s arm as they made their way through the castle and down to the main courtyard. He heard the dowry long before he saw it. A cacophony greeted his ears as they exited the castle. The baa of sheep, low of cattle, snort of pigs, cluck of chickens and neigh of horses echoed off the stone walls. He surveyed the assembled animals, noting a fine ram accompanying the sheep and an arrogant rooster herding the hens. “Good Lord,” he murmured. “It looks as though you won’t need to buy a ram for your flock after all, Eaduin.” Vérité’s comment was faint but it made him smile. “No, indeed. He looks well able to take on the tasks allotted to him.” Eaduin’s eyes were drawn to the carts only after noting all the animals. Three large carts stood in the courtyard overflowing with goods of all types. Rich wood chests, undoubtedly filled to capacity, were packed tightly as a bottom layer. Other unwieldy items had been stacked on top. “I’ve an inventory for your attention, my lord,” Mother Anne told him briskly. She held out her hand and a young lass ran over to place a scroll in it. 160

Seeking Truth

Eaduin blinked as he tried to take it all in. He pulled his gaze from the wealth in front of them to his wife’s face. Vérité was white with shock, her eyes wide and she looked ready to swoon. No one could feign ignorance so well. She’d had no knowledge of these goods. “Mother, why was I never told of this?” she whispered. “Your father didn’t want you to know.” “And Falc’, what was his motive for silence?” Vérité’s damp, pain-filled eyes fastened on the contrite expression of the mother superior. “Ah child. I am sorry for your shock. Falc’s motives were kind.” “Keeping me in ignorance was kind?” “Falc’ didn’t want you to know so you wouldn’t have your hopes dashed should nothing come of his efforts on your behalf.” Vérité sighed. “It’s something he would do. As the eldest he always took on more responsibility for me than he should.” “It’s the duty of the eldest, Vérité.” She smiled at him. “You are no doubt in greater charity with Falc’ than I.” “Perhaps I understand him better.” He noted Mother Anne looking intensely pleased with herself as she watched him interact with his wife. She was as bad as Judith with her fondness for matchmaking. It must run in the blood. Vérité waded through the sea of animals until she arrived at the carts and explored them while the reverend mother handed him the inventory listing. He unrolled the scroll and perused it. Linens, woolens and silks. God in Heaven. He shook his head as his eyes skimmed down the list. Fine plate, jewels, spices, hides, furs. The wealth in this courtyard astonished him. Falc’ must have something truly damaging with which to blackmail his father for he couldn’t imagine Petrus de Sauigni willingly parting with any of this, let alone all of it. “How long has this been accumulating?” “Years, my lord.” He sighed. Petrus would be very dangerous indeed when he heard of this marriage. He must need a favor from Eaduin to counter his son, but what? Why was de Sauigni so scared? Eaduin tapped the scroll against his cheek as he considered what the little worm was hiding. He remembered frequent visits Petrus made to his father. Eaduin had cordially loathed the man and the way he’d fawned over Osweald. Not only had Petrus visited here, but the old bastard frequently traveled northwest as well. His father often returned from those trips bruised and bloodied, but that had been during the open warfare between Stephen and Maud. Eaduin froze in shock. It couldn’t be. Could it? The Empress Maud! Osweald had supported her cause. Petrus must have too. Damn, it had to be the reason. Petrus wasn’t a worm, he was a snake—a desperate one. Eaduin had to get to Falc’ soon. In supporting Falc, Eaduin would have the king’s support. 161

Francesca Hawley

If Judith was well he would travel to London immediately, but he could not leave her side when her days were numbered. He would not, for he refused to be away from her when she passed from this world. Judith was the mother of his heart and he would be at her side to the very end, no matter what it cost him. But would it cost him Vérité? Vérité… Eaduin found her among the carts. He smiled as she opened boxes, unwrapping packages to peer inside resembling an excited little girl. Her squeal when she found the silks made him laugh with sheer happiness. Was this the choice of which Judith spoke? He prayed not. Eaduin could not force himself to choose between these two women for no matter which choice he made, he would lose.

162

Seeking Truth

Chapter Twenty-Two Judith slept pain free…finally. Vérité rubbed her hands over her face, startled to see them shaking in the half-light of the fire. She was exhausted for she hadn’t slept properly in almost five days. Judith’s pain increased daily. Try though she might, Vérité found it more and more difficult to counter the agonies suffered by the older woman. Her body was becoming accustomed to the medicines. Vérité experimented with different combinations of various herbs and thus far she was able to hold Judith’s suffering at bay. Ultimately the time would come when she would be unable to ease the anguish. How had Eaduin endured this feeling of helplessness for weeks on end? After only days it was wearing on Vérité so she wanted to cry constantly. Yet she couldn’t show any weakness for everyone depended on her to know what to do. How would Eaduin feel when the medicines no longer worked? Would he still want her when her skills were overshadowed by Judith’s illness? Vérité leaned back in her chair with a sigh. She missed him, on many levels. Though they slept in the same bed each night, the last time they fucked was their encounter in the crofter’s hut. Vérité ached with need, but she was too tired to do more than to fall into bed at his side when someone was available to sit with Judith for a time. Each morning she awoke to Eaduin’s lovemaking only to be interrupted either by Judith’s illness or Isolda’s contrariness. Judith could not be blamed for her need, but Isolda on the other hand… The young lady was in serious need of correction, which neither her husband Crispin nor her father seemed inclined to administer. Eaduin was as frustrated by their inability to couple as she was, yet he would not confront Isolda about her behavior. Vérité had offered numerous suggestions but was repeatedly rebuffed. Evidently, their marriage wasn’t important enough to him to address the problem. Or perhaps she wasn’t important enough to him. She closed her eyes, unaware when she drifted to sleep. “Vérité? Vérité, come to bed.” “No…” she groaned as someone shook her awake. What was the matter now? She pushed away the hands pulling on her. Let her sleep. She buried her face against some soft fabric. It smelled nice, spicy. “I’ll sit with Mother tonight, Eaduin. Take your wife to bed.” “But you just came off guard duty, Godwin.” “I’m fresher than your lady.” “Then I should remain…” “You want me to carry your wife to bed? I think not.” Eaduin chuckled. “Very well, but call on someone if you need rest.”

163

Francesca Hawley

“I will. There is a cup of dosed wine here, so should Mother wake I’ll give the contents to her.” “Stir it,” Vérité murmured, burrowing into the arms holding her close. “What did she say?” “Stir it. I assume she means you should stir the medicine before Judith drinks it.” “Yea. I will. Take her to bed, Brother. You both need rest.” “No more than you.” “I will live. I’ll sharpen my blades. I’ve been meaning to for some time.” Eaduin chuckled. “A bit noisier than the ladies with their sewing tasks.” “True, but I refuse to sew. Even for Mother.” “Ah, but an unmarried knight should know how to care for himself.” “That’s what sisters are for.” “Don’t let Bronwen or Eirene hear you say so or you’ll be in dire straits.” “Go to bed, Eaduin.” Vérité felt herself gathered into strong arms, relaxing as Eaduin lifted her to carry her to bed. She drifted back to sleep as the movement lulled her, barely recognizing when she was laid onto a bed and her clothes removed. Drifting in the fog of half sleep she only dimly heard a groan. She turned in bed, burrowing under the blankets. Sleep. She needed sleep. The bed depressed beside her and warm arms circled her to pull her close. She relaxed as she felt Eaduin nuzzle her neck. This was where she should be, she thought before she sunk deep into sleep. Vérité floated toward consciousness, sighing with pleasure and throbbing with need. A warm, wet mouth covered her nipples, sucking on them while a flexible tongue swirled over her skin. She arched her back, lifting her breasts closer to the hungry mouth, which moved from worshiping one breast to the other. Fingers tugged at the damp tight nipple while the second breast was given similar treatment. The sucking sent fire directly to the sensitive bud between her legs. She moaned, rocking her hips. “Yea. Don’t stop,” she murmured. “Please.” “It’s been days, my lady. I’ve missed you.” Vérité lifted her heavy eyelids to gaze on Eaduin’s face. The room was dimly lit so it must be morning. She’d slept for a long time. “Judith…” “Fear not, Godwin stayed with her through the night. Relax and let me pleasure you.” Eaduin lowered his head, capturing her mouth he dipped his tongue inside to tease hers. Vérité lifted her arms to draw him into her embrace, caressing his back as their mouths relearned taste and texture. Vérité slid her hand down his back to grasp his firm buttocks, loving the feel of him under the palms of her hands. He hummed softly, 164

Seeking Truth

shivering under her touch before putting his own hands on the path of rediscovery. Eaduin gently tugged at her lips with his teeth, running his tongue over the softness then lifting his head to gaze into her eyes. “I’ve missed this, Vérité.” “I’ve missed it too.” She bit her lip to keep from speaking thoughts sure to disrupt their morning lovemaking. If only he would speak to Isolda… She moaned when he covered her breasts with teasing kisses before sucking each peak into his mouth for diligent attention. “Yea, Eaduin. Harder, please.” He bit her, tugging on first one then the other taut tip rhythmically. She lifted her hips in a silent request for attention which he answered immediately, his fingers parting her folds to ease entry into her slick cunt. She spread her legs, whimpering as his thumb found her nub of pleasure massaging it with firm strokes. Vérité threw back her head and raised her pelvis to meet the thrust of his long fingers. She clutched at him, gasping as she neared release. Eaduin teased both breasts then took her mouth with his. Their tongues met, flicking together, exploring. Vérité nipped at his lips, suckling gently, reveling in his groan. Vérité drew her hand along his side and to the front of his body, trailing her fingers over his belly before clasping his cock in her hand to stroke up and down the length of him. He was firm, throbbing and slick. “Eaduin, take me please!” “Yea,” he growled, slipping between her legs. He poised to enter her when there was a knock on the main door of the solar. He turned to stare at the door. “God’s Blood!” “Take me anyway, Eaduin. Please?” He nudged his hips forward but the knock sounded again, this time much firmer. “Damn it to hell!” Vérité closed her eyes, clenching her fingers on the tight muscles of his arms. She knew it. Hadn’t she expected it? There were no immediate calls, so Judith was not in need. Nay, it was Isolda with her “perfect” timing. How did she always know just when Vérité and Eaduin were about to make love? It was uncanny. If she were of Judith’s blood, Vérité would think it was an ability to see the future. “Father! Are you awake? I need to speak with you.” Eaduin rolled off Vérité, lying beside her on the bed, staring at the ceiling. She sighed. Yet another day without any relief from this ache. She was sorely tempted to do Isolda an injury. Once again the knock sounded. “I’m coming,” he shouted. “Nay. You aren’t coming and neither am I. We won’t be until you talk to your daughter about her behavior.” He sat up, a scowl on his face.

165

Francesca Hawley

“It was you who suggested I treat her gently, Vérité.” “Yea, at first. I don’t suggest she call me mother, but as God is my witness, I did not tell you to indulge her every whim with regard to keeping us separate.” “I don’t.” “You don’t? The last time you took me was the crofter’s hut, Eaduin. Surely you suffer as much as I after five days of deprivation.” He pounded his pillow. “More. She will drive me to drink.” “Then you must confront her. Be gentle if you wish but this must not continue. I’m your wife and the marriage is consummated. Eventually she will return to her home with her husband. Destroying our marriage before it has begun will avail her nothing.” “Destroy? Aren’t you rather harsh?” “Do you think so?” “Vérité, be reasonable.” He leaned over her, pressing a soft kiss to her lips only to be interrupted by a solid pounding on the door. “Reasonable? Eaduin, she’s your child, but she’s a child no more. Deal with her.” Vérité rolled onto her side to face away from him, fighting to keep the tears from falling down her cheeks. “Women,” he grumbled, climbing out of bed. As Vérité listened to him dress, she rubbed tears from her face. She wouldn’t let him see her cry. Not over this. Their lack of intimacy was nothing compared with what Judith experienced. Her feelings were selfish, but she wanted Eaduin. All of him. Often. Eaduin sighed as he reached the door, glancing back to look at Vérité’s stiff back. Though he was loath to admit it, she was right. Isolda was spoiled. She’d had him to herself for far too long and it was time for her to accept he belonged to someone else. Whether she wanted him to or not. Eaduin opened the door, slipping out into the corridor to find Isolda pacing. She turned sharply and glared at him. “Where have you been?” He raised his eyebrows, crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the closed door. “Getting dressed, Daughter. I doubt you would have appreciated me making an appearance here in the hallway without a stitch on, now would you? What dragged you from your husband’s arms and me from my wife’s so soon after dawn?” Isolda blushed at the reference to Crispin but frowned when he mentioned Vérité. “I had a question for you.” “Yea. What is it?” “Um…” Eaduin waited for her to invent a question. It was painfully obvious her only aim had been to disrupt his morning. “I’m waiting, Daughter.” “It’s Crispin.” “Is it? Shouldn’t you talk to him?”

166

Seeking Truth

“Nay. I was…uh…watching him on the practice field and noticed he was having some troubles.” “Yea…” “Well, Father, I’m concerned. Yea. Exactly so. I’m concerned. I don’t want to be a widow.” “Let me understand this. You have questions about his combat skills?” “Yea.” She smiled brightly as if he were quite brilliant for his understanding. “Would you instruct him, Father?” Eaduin held back a groan. If her husband heard her, he would be desperately hurt not realizing Isolda was looking for any excuse to create distance between Eaduin and Vérité. Granted Crispin was no Theodric, but then Theo hadn’t been highly skilled when he was the boy’s age either. When had his daughter become the village idiot? She’d been quite bright as a child. “Isolda, have you hit your head recently?” She glowered. “Nay.” He shook his head. “I am in no position to instruct your husband, nor would I offer to do so. He has two excellent fighters to offer him instruction already. Alec and Theo are two of the finest knights I’ve ever faced on the field. Not only that, but it is not my place to offer instruction.” “But, Father…” “No, Isolda, this must stop.” “I’m only concerned for my husband.” “This isn’t about Crispin at all, and you know it. He’s a perfectly capable fighter for a youth his age. For some reason that mystifies me, you have decided to take Vérité into dislike. She is a good woman. If you can’t be her friend, fine. But enough of these attempts to keep me separate from her.” “She isn’t right for you.” “Have you discussed this with Judith, child?” “Nay.” “It was Judith who sent me to find her. It was Judith who encouraged me to marry her. If you don’t trust me, for the love of God, please trust Judith. I do.” “But you loved Mama. You said you never wanted another wife.” Her face crumpled and his gut tightened as tears welled up in her expressive eyes. “Child, I cared for your mother but I didn’t love her. Not as she deserved. What’s more, she never loved me. She did her duty by me. No more.” “But you said…” “I said I never wanted another wife, it’s true. But it was because my first marriage was a painful experience not because of a deep and abiding love. Your mother feared me, no matter what I did.” He ran his hands through his hair. How did he make her

167

Francesca Hawley

understand without maligning Elspeth or telling Isolda too much about his physical needs? “Why did she fear you? You aren’t frightening.” “Thank you. I truly don’t know why I scared her. I tried to be gentle and kind with her but Elspeth found no joy in…” He paused. Eaduin couldn’t tell his daughter her mother dreaded sharing his bed. He just couldn’t. “Your mother was far more suited to a life of contemplation in the abbey than either Vérité or your aunt Eirene will ever be.” “I don’t understand.” “I know, but there are some things…private between a husband and wife. This is one of those things. Suffice it to say neither of us was happy in our marriage, but we did the best we could since we couldn’t part.” “You really want to be with her?” Isolda gestured at the closed door. “Her has a name, child.” “I don’t like it.” “You aren’t required to like it, Isolda, but you must accept it. I am a married man and my wife deserves your respectfulness. She also deserves private time with me so we might grow to know each other better. Vérité and I are married. And what God has joined together let no man, or woman, put asunder. We don’t need a chaperone. Especially not my daughter.” She sighed. “All right. I’ll quit trying to keep you apart.” “And you must cease to use your special gift to interrupt us when we are…together. Your timing is no accident and I’m well aware of it. Judith would scold you severely if she realized you were abusing your talents this way.” “I know.” Isolda blushed, sounding miserable. “Concentrate on your husband, Isolda. You owe him your loyalty.” She sighed. “Even if I’m not happy?” Eaduin stepped forward to tip her chin up. “Has he hurt you in any way?” She shrugged, refusing to meet his gaze. His gut tightened, rage pouring through him. The boy would pay. “Has he hit you? Forced you? I’ll kill him…” “Nay. Nay, Papa. He would never…” She trailed off. He took a deep breath to calm himself. “Then?” “He doesn’t love me. I want him to, but he doesn’t.” “I see.” Eaduin sighed, closing his eyes. He pulled his daughter into his embrace and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “My child, you must talk to him.” “Crispin doesn’t want to talk. He just wants to…um…” She stepped back, her face a fiery red. Eaduin fought to hide the laughter lurking in his eyes. He could sympathize with the lad. Not with regard to Isolda because he didn’t want to imagine his child in bed with her husband. However, he knew how desperately he wanted Vérité and he wasn’t

168

Seeking Truth

a young man such as Crispin who was just discovering the pleasure to be found in the marriage bed. “I think this might be a conversation to have with a woman, Isolda. Perhaps Bronwen could offer you counsel.” “Do you think so?” “I do. Seek her out, for I’m sure you would feel more comfortable asking her how to win your husband’s affections.” “Very well.” She glanced at the closed door behind him, sighing unhappily. “Tell Vérité I’m sorry to have woken you.” “You aren’t sorry, but I’ll extend your apologies anyway.” Isolda gave him a saucy grin and went in search of Bronwen. Eaduin shook his head then reentered the solar to have some intimate conversation with his wife. He crossed the room and climbed the stairs up to the bed, seating himself gingerly. “Vérité?” When she didn’t respond, he leaned over her, groaning softly when he realized she’d fallen asleep. He couldn’t wake her again this morning. Only a bastard would wake her just so he could fuck her. Though if she hadn’t been so bloody exhausted he would have. He needed her badly, but caring for Judith was sapping her energy and her cheerfulness. He too had tried to ease pain that wouldn’t go away. He knew the toll it took on the caregiver. On those few occasions Vérité had attended meals in the great hall, she’d been inordinately quiet and forlorn. Eaduin must offer her some respite from the grief she was experiencing in caring for a dying woman. He wasn’t sure how to help, but somehow he would find a way. Eaduin stood to strip off his clothes then climbed into the bed at his wife’s side. She sighed softly in her sleep as he pulled her into his embrace. He curved around her back and settled his head against hers. He smiled as he considered how well their bodies fit together. It didn’t matter what position they found themselves. Sleeping or waking, their fit was comfortable and pleasing to him. He hoped she felt the same.

169

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Twenty-Three Eaduin didn’t want to wake, his dream felt too good. He moaned as the soft feminine tongue found the spot just under his ballocks, which was as sensitive as the trigger of a crossbow. He lifted his hips and spread his legs as the tongue lapped at him. What a talented mouth she had! He arched when she sucked one of his balls into her hot, wet mouth. First one then the other before turning her tongue back to the sensitive skin on the underside. All the while her hand stroked his cock. She was gifted at toying with his body. Toying. Oh God have mercy. It was Annys. Shit. The bitch was playing with him once more. He froze, trying to drop a mental bucket of cold water on his cock to keep from acting out her little game. Eaduin forced his eyes to remain closed, but her insidious mouth was driving him to the brink of sanity and he couldn’t still his rocking hips. She’d won, leaving him to spend hours with a raging hard cock and no place to put it. Again. He moved his hands, surprised to find them unbound. Why hadn’t she tied him? Well, the more fool her. He brought his hands down to her head, tangling his fingers in her silky hair, then he pulled her head up away from his cock as he sprang on top of her. “Nay, Annys. Not this time, you whore. You won’t leave me in agony again!” “Eaduin?” Eaduin looked down into the shocked and frightened eyes of his wife. He groaned and dropped his head to her shoulder before gingerly releasing her hair. God in Heaven, what had he done? “Forgive me, Vérité. Are you all right?” She nodded her head, tentatively stroking his shoulder as if to offer him comfort. He’d assaulted his wife, but she was showing mercy. Reluctantly, he lifted his head and met her eyes again, expecting her to be terrified of him, but she wasn’t. Her face was filled with concern, but her initial fear was gone. “Did I hurt you, Vérité?” “Nay. You startled me.” “Praise be to God. Please forgive me.” “You’re forgiven. I’m sorry I surprised you. I thought you would enjoy it.” He ran his fingers over her face, thankful when she didn’t flinch from him. “I did enjoy it. Where in God’s name did you learn to do that?” She grinned mischievously. “Emma.”

170

Seeking Truth

“I see,” he murmured. Of course. Emma had learned many of his secrets during their time together. “You took pleasure in it.” “I did. You’ve a talented mouth, wife.” “Good.” She paused. “Eaduin?” “Hmmm?” “Why did you call me Annys?” “I…uh…” Vérité ran her fingers through his hair. “It was she who used to tie you up, wasn’t it?” Eaduin stiffened, rolling off of her. He had to get away before she truly understood. She would think him disgusting. Depraved. He couldn’t bear the look in her eyes if she knew. Before he could escape to the safety of the floor, Vérité caught him, wrapping herself around him. She pressed gentle kisses to his shoulder and neck. “She used to tie you and tease you.” Her tone was one of conclusion not question. She knew. He froze. Surely now she would denounce him. Vérité would never want him near her again. Hadn’t the priest he’d confessed to at twelve told him such acts would land him in Hell? It mattered not who initiated the act, both were sinners. He waited for her to accuse him. “She raped you.” Such soft words but so damning. He closed his eyes. Eaduin never considered denying it. How could he? But instead of pushing him away, she clung closer. “I’m so sorry. It must have been confusing for you.” Finally, unable to wait for her to show her disgust, he glanced at her. He blinked in disbelief. No distaste. She was not repulsed by him. “Did she come to your bed to use you often?” Her voice was gentle as she stroked his hair tenderly. “Too often. But it was never consummated. I swear. She’d toy with me until I was mindless and begging then leave me tied to the bed for the servants to release come daybreak.” “Oh Eaduin.” She wrapped her arms around him more tightly again to hug him. Where was her revulsion? He had always expected anyone who knew to be repulsed by him. Instead she looked up at him with warmth and affection. He blinked tears from his eyes, determined not to let her see his weakness or his relief. In the past, the only ones he trusted to know were his squire brothers Alec and Theo. When they were boys, they figured out the truth based on his nightmares. Alec had felt pity, Theo rage. Rage was why Theo had seduced Annys in the first place, only to fall under her spell himself. Ultimately, his sister parted him from his squire brothers and laughed about it. Taunted him with it. 171

Francesca Hawley

Only his marriage had freed him from her continued assaults. Once Elspeth shared his bed, Annys could not bind him to play with his body without having a witness to her base behavior. Witnesses could bear testimony, so she left him alone to prey on other men in the castle. “It was not a happy time for me.” “No doubt.” She shook her head and leaned against his shoulder, murmuring thoughtfully, “No wonder her soul looked so tattered and dark.” He frowned. “It was. Black as night.” “Nay. Not a clear, clean black. Yours has a tinge of black now and again from the abuse you’ve endured, but hers was…muddy. Tattered. As if she’d been injured but chose to perpetuate the injury on others rather than heal herself. Granted I only met her once…” Eaduin stared at Vérité, realizing she’d spoken without thinking. Musing about a memory. His wife admitted she saw the true state of a person’s spirit. “My spirit is black?” “Nay. There are patches now and again, especially when you experience unhappy memories.” “I’m evil.” Her eyes flew to his, fear registering in her gaze. God help him, she was terrified of him after all. Vérité bit her lip. What had she done? She’d told him her secret without thought. Without preparing him. “You aren’t evil, Eaduin.” “You just said my spirit is black.” She shook her head, catching his arm as he tried to draw away. “It isn’t.” He had to understand. Eaduin must not believe himself evil because of her reflections. “Most of the time your soul is a bright clear red. Power and passion shine from you, but there are also hints of shimmering white, gold and many others. It’s quite beautiful to look on, Eaduin.” “You can really see it?” “Yea.” Would he denounce her? He accepted Judith and Eirene with love and affection. How would he feel about her? “You didn’t intend to tell me, did you?” “Nay. People are uncomfortable knowing.” “Is your ability similar to how Eirene can hear thoughts?” “Yea.” “What exactly is your gift?” Vérité shivered. It was now or never. Did she trust him with all of her? She allowed her gift full rein and studied him. She saw no fear or avarice reflected in him. He

172

Seeking Truth

seemed only to want to learn more, to gain understanding. Relief flooded her as she realized she saw no condemnation in him. “I can see the true state of a person’s spirit and feelings in the glow that surrounds their physical self.” “Glow?” “You know how when you stare into the flame of a candle, there seems to be a glow just outside and around the flame itself?” “Yea.” “When I look at a person I see something similar, but the glow isn’t just the gold of flame. There are many colors.” “So you really saw the evil in my sister.” “She made me sick, so did your father, but you have never made me sick, Eaduin.” He blinked. “That’s why your father stuck you in the convent. Not because you threw up on them, but why you threw up on them.” She nodded. “I’d never seen two souls in such a state before. I was a child, and I couldn’t accept it.” “What an extraordinary ability. Is there anything else? I know you can’t lie.” “No, I can’t. It’s tied to my abilities, so I can’t lie.” Vérité could feel her skin flushing as she tried to prevent herself from saying too much. “There’s more. I can see it on your face.” She sighed. “I can tell when someone else is lying.” “You know when someone lies to you.” Vérité nodded, peeping up at him. He was blushing, which made her laugh. He was trying to remember how often he’d lied to her since they met. She could see it. It was typical of anyone who knew about her abilities. “So when I’ve lied to you…” “You haven’t lied very often.” “But you knew.” “Yea.” “Your gift is amazing.” “It hasn’t always been a gift. People are frightened by what I can do. If Sister Berthe had her way, I’d burn at the stake.” Eaduin brushed her hair out of her eyes. “You worried I’d feel the same.” She nodded. “Do you?” “Nay. I admit it troubles me to know I can’t lie to you. But I know such ability is not evil nor is it born of evil. Truth is always of God.”

173

Francesca Hawley

Vérité read his spirit and saw he believed what he said. Truth was from God and so was she. Tears filled her eyes and she covered her face with her hands, unable to hold back the sobs. Eaduin gathered her into his arms. “Have I said something wrong?” “Nay.” She buried her face in the curve of his neck and wrapped her arms around him. “Then why do you cry?” “You don’t believe I’m evil.” “Nay. I’ve known evil and you are not evil.” He cradled her close in his arms, kissing her face and wiping her tears gently away. “You don’t find me repulsive?” “Why would I?” He raised his brows at her. “Oh Eaduin, of course not. Your sister used you.” “I responded to her.” “It’s only natural to respond to pleasure when you experience it.” “Even though it was my sister?” “Annys was at fault, Eaduin. Not you.” “The priest said differently.” “Father Michael? I can’t believe he would say such a thing.” “Nay, before him. Father Paul.” “Father Paul was wrong.” “He was only quoting the rules of the Church.” She shook her head and whispered. “Then the Church is wrong.” “I’m corrupting you, my lady,” he chuckled. “Before you became my wife, I dare say you would not have voiced the thought let alone considered it, but I thank you, nonetheless.” “For what?” “Accepting me. Believing in me.” “I can say the same to you. Few people accept my abilities without considering how it can best benefit them.” “You mean your father.” “Yea. He kept me close and used my abilities until I embarrassed him. When my gift grew inconvenient, he banished me.” “Petrus is a fool. I’ve always thought so.” “You know him.” “He was one of Father’s friends. Not that my father had true friends…” She nodded. “I understand. My father is the same. His associates are those who can benefit him in some way.” “It was the same with Osweald.” 174

Seeking Truth

Vérité smiled up at him. “What a pair we are, Eaduin. Orphaned by our mothers, despised by our fathers. One worried his secret will inspire disgust, the other terrified to be denounced as a witch.” Eaduin brushed her hair off her forehead, his eyes gentle. The touch of his fingers against her skin was a blessing. “Is it your greatest fear?” She shivered. “It’s an ever-present danger.” Vérité paused and bit her lip, considering their uncertain future. “Promise me if I’m ever accused you will kill me yourself rather than allow them to put me to the question or burn me at the stake.” “Vérité, it won’t happen.” “Eaduin, please promise me. I never want to die in such agony. There’s pain enough in dying a natural death. I must have your vow.” Judith’s pain showed her a natural death could be wrenching, but she’d seen far worse when she’d been forced to care for those tortured in the name of Christ. Broken, bloody limbs. Raw, red burns. Flayed skin. Visions of the damage done not only to the bodies but to the souls of those individuals whose only crime was to be different, tormented her. She rubbed her hands over her face, trying to forget. She’d been newly trained as a healer when a priest had overnighted on the way to London with a cartload of poor souls doomed to be presented before a bishop. The priest’s soul had made her as ill as Lord Osweald and Lady Annys combined, but she’d been forced to offer succor to those unfortunates so they would live until they reached London, only to be tortured over again. She’d helped several succumb to the grave and nearly been accused herself as a result, but Sister Berthe hadn’t discovered the truth about her. Had the sister known, she would have been killed with the rest. “I’m not sure I can make such a promise, Vérité. I don’t want to kill you!” “I don’t want to die.” She sighed, burrowing deeper into his arms. “Even so, I would rather die by your hand, with mercy and kindness, than be tortured until I admit my so-called evil ways. Please, Eaduin. Your oath is important to me.” He groaned, his face tight with dismay. She watched the glow that bloomed around him. If he spoke truth, she would know and since he knew her secret he wouldn’t lie. “Very well, Vérité, but I refuse to do it unless we have no other alternative.” She nodded. “I accept your vow.” “It will never happen, Vérité. I won’t let it.” By what miracle had this amazing woman been entrusted to his care? Eaduin couldn’t believe God had finally chosen to be kind to him. He certainly didn’t deserve it. He knew himself to be a jaded, wicked sinner. Yet this bundle of happiness was curled trustingly in his arms, relaxed and welcoming. He lowered his face to hers, his gut tightening as she lifted her lips to meet his. So soft. Warm. Eaduin eased her gently onto her back, maintaining the kiss. Her mouth tasted sweet as he delved inside, teasing with his tongue. Her whimper went straight to his cock, tugging it upright. The kiss seemed to last forever, each of them clinging to the

175

Francesca Hawley

other. He traced a path over her ripe breasts, stroking the tight peaks before caressing her ribs and the rounded curve of her belly. He paused, looking down at where his hand rested. His children would grow within her one day. Their eyes met, hers wide and uncertain. He smiled, and slowly she answered in kind. Vérité lifted her hand to cup his cheek, stroking his beard with her fingers. He kissed the palm of her hand. Her hand trailed leisurely over his neck, down to his chest where she caressed his nipples. Her touch made him shiver with an aching need. “I never expected to meet a woman such as you, Vérité,” he murmured. “A woman like me?” “Nurturing yet deeply passionate.” He lowered his mouth to her lips, their tongues meeting, warm and wet. He sighed as her arms encircled him and he felt her fingertips gliding over the muscles of his back. She matched him kiss for kiss. Her gasps of growing excitement were as music to his ears. This woman didn’t fear him or his needs. Vérité accepted and welcomed the full extent of his passion. Eaduin pressed his lips to her throat, pausing as he felt the beat of her heart in the throbbing in her neck. He nipped at the skin and then lapped at her, enjoying her taste. He sucked her earlobe then pressed hungry kisses along her soft shoulders. The rise of her full breasts beckoned him, threatening to drive him mad. He drew her into his mouth, suckling her nipples. She arched beneath him and her cries of passion intensified his pleasure in their coupling. “Eaduin, oh please. Take me.” “In time, my sweet.” “Now. Before we’re interrupted again. I want to feel you inside me.” Her hand clasped his cock, fondling the length of it. He couldn’t prevent himself from reacting to her touch, thrusting within her hold. Her mouth pressed hungry kisses to his damp skin. He closed his eyes, enjoying her open expression of desire. It aroused him fiercely to know how much she wanted him. To see it in her eyes and feel it in her touch. Eaduin opened his eyes and their gazes meshed. He pulled her head to his, taking her mouth in an intensely intimate kiss. Their tongues danced while his hands roamed her body. He pressed his palm between her parted thighs, sliding fingers into her moist channel. He teased the bud of her sex, smiling when she jerked under his touch. His lady was indeed lusty, praise be to God. Finally, the Father looked favorably upon him or He would not have given Vérité into Eaduin’s keeping. Such a treasure was to be cherished. He kissed his way down her body, spreading her legs and settling between them. Eaduin looked into her face, enjoying the anticipation lighting her countenance. Vérité tensed, waiting for his mouth to transport her to the heights of arousal. He parted her, slowly. Savoring her tension.

176

Seeking Truth

“Eaduin…please!” “Patience, my lady.” Vérité jumped when he pressed his forefinger against the pulsing nub. He circled her center until her hips rose and fell in a steady rhythm. She clutched the bedclothes tightly in her grip, her head thrown back in her passion, harsh pants escaping from her lips. He dipped his fingers into her tight cunt, sighing with appreciation for her wet warmth. As he penetrated her with two then three fingers, she clasped him. The scent of her rose to him as a fine perfume and his cock strained to fill her, but he’d wait until neither of them could delay any longer. He drove his fingers hard and fast into her, building the pleasure surging through her body. “Take me! Please take me.” Her muscles wound tighter and he knew she was ready to shatter, it would just take one little push. He knew exactly what it should be. He sucked her bud into his mouth, flicking his tongue against her. She whimpered, shuddering helplessly in the throes of release. Yes. This is what he waited for. Longed for. He surged upward and plunged into her still-spasming body, reveling in the fluttering against his cock as he repeatedly thrust and withdrew. Her legs wrapped around his waist, her heels drumming on the muscles of his arse as her cunt tugged him mercilessly into her wetness. He clasped her in his arms, pressing his mouth to her, breathing her in as their mouths merged. Eaduin drove deep, groaning each time her body clenched on him. The slap of their bodies and their moans of pleasure filled the room. When her fingernails sunk into his shoulders, he growled, bucking into her to shoot his seed deep into her womb. His last clear thought as climax took him was a silent prayer to fill her with his child. He shook, his cock jerking inside her as he continued to stab into her. He finally collapsed onto her, pressing gentle kisses against the side of her neck. Eaduin tried to catch his breath and roll away, but she wouldn’t let go. “Vérité, I’ll crush you.” “Nay. Hold me, Eaduin. Let me feel you cover me just a bit longer.” Eaduin lifted his head, stroking her fiery hair off her dewy forehead. Her skin glowed pink but her expression was relaxed, even a bit drowsy. He kissed her lips, her brow, her cheek. “I’m not too heavy?” “Not just now.” She ran her palms over his chest, encircling him to clutch his back to keep him close. Her legs enveloped his waist. Eaduin stroked her fair limbs. He propped himself on his elbows, running a finger down her nose. “You know, we have yet to test those candles.” She flushed a bright pink and he laughed. “Perhaps we have time now.” She bit her lip. “I want to, but I should check on Judith.”

177

Francesca Hawley

Eaduin cocked his head. “Surely you know by now they will call for you should you be needed. No one has hesitated thus far.” “True. Yet I think having someone knock on our door while I have a candle buried inside me might be a touch…disconcerting.” Eaduin threw back his head in laughter. Somehow she could always make him laugh. “Do you truly think so?” “Yea. I do.” Her lips twitched. He brushed her hair off her forehead and leaned down to kiss her. Her thighs slid down alongside his and she twined her legs around his, opening her mouth for his kisses. Eaduin sighed as Vérité’s hands stroked the muscles of his arms. She stilled as if something were wrong, so Eaduin lifted his head to stare down into her eyes. “What is it?” She shook her head. “I’m not sure, but I think Judith needs me.” “I didn’t think you saw the future.” “Generally I don’t, but sometimes I see the immediate future or sense when one of the people in my care needs me. Even though they’ve not called me, I still sense I’m required. I should go.” She looked up at him apologetically. “I’m sorry. If all is well, we can return to our bed.” “I understand. Let’s both visit Judith to verify her condition.” He climbed off his wife, hissing as his cock slipped out of her cunt. He didn’t want to leave her body, and by the way she clenched him as he withdrew, she hadn’t wanted him to pull out of her either. He took her hands, helping her to stand. He pulled her into his arms to hold her close for a precious few moments, enjoying the feel of her naked body in his arms. He sighed, reluctantly releasing her when she tensed. Eaduin could feel the same sense of urgency affecting Vérité.

178

Seeking Truth

Chapter Twenty-Four After they dressed, Vérité took up her bag of medicinals and moved purposefully. Eaduin followed her down the hallway to Judith’s room. All was silent, yet Eaduin felt a tension in the air. They slipped into the chamber, finding Godwin asleep in a chair by the fire but Judith was awake, silently clutching the blankets in an effort to fight the pain rising in her body. Eaduin groaned and settled on the bed, catching Judith as she threw herself into his arms. He rocked her in his arms as she whimpered a near-silent sob against his shoulder. Eaduin knew he shouldn’t have left Godwin here. His brother had been exhausted after his guard shift and remaining awake throughout the night was too much to ask. He wasn’t angry at Godwin but at himself. He’d known better but had let his need for his lady blind him to reality. He glanced at Vérité, who was carefully mixing medication for Judith’s consumption. “You should have called out, Judith. Godwin will be wroth with himself because he slept when you needed him,” he whispered. “He needed sleep, and I thought I would be fine. It didn’t hurt too much at first.” Vérité settled beside them and together they helped Judith drink the herbs that could ease her pain. She sighed as her pain lessened, though Eaduin could tell it was not gone entirely. He met Vérité’s troubled eyes. She could see her healing arts were no longer completely alleviating Judith’s misery. Blinking back tears, she rose from her seat on the bed. Eaduin watched her, growing concerned. Treating a disease such as this was draining not only to the afflicted but to her caregiver. Godwin sighed, his eyes opening. He stretched, taking in the tableau before him and swore viciously. “Mother, forgive me.” He crossed to the bed and stood, wringing his hands, guilt etched into his face. Eaduin stood. “Godwin, it’s my fault. I knew you’d just finished a full guard shift. I should not have left you on your own.” Godwin sat to gather his mother in his arms. “Forgive me.” “There is nothing to forgive, my son.” “But you were in pain and I ignored you!” “Nay, Godwin.” Eaduin walked over to Vérité’s side, leaving mother and son to talk. He leaned close to her. “It’s growing worse, isn’t it?” Vérité sighed. Looking up at him reluctantly, she nodded. “There will come a time…very soon…when I’ll be able to do no more for her. I’m sorry but even the best healer has limits.” 179

Francesca Hawley

He stroked her back, dropping a kiss on her brow. “I know. What do we do then?” “We have a choice.” “Which is?” “I make her as comfortable as possible until she slips away from us.” “Which could mean screaming agonies for her.” “It could.” “Our other option?” “We ease her passing.” “You mean kill her?” “Is it killing when she is screaming and trying to gouge at her skin or yours? You’ve seen how the pain takes her, Eaduin. No one knows better than you.” He looked down, not wanting to think about what they might have to do. “I hate this.” “As do I, but our choices are limited. Any of the medicines she takes now could kill her. It’s strictly a matter of the dosage. I can make her death as painless as possible. It would be quick and far kinder than the agony she experiences when she has no remedy to drink.” “We don’t have to decide right now?” “Nay. Not now, but we must decide soon, Eaduin.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed close to him. He held her tight, feeling shared responsibility for Judith’s well-being. “Tell me when it’s time, Vérité. I’ll bow to your wisdom in this. I don’t want her to suffer anymore.” She nodded. “I pray she is able to escape from her earthly coils without help.” “As do I. If we must aid her, I will help her to drink.” Her gaze flew to his. “But, Eaduin, it’s my responsibility as healer.” “And mine as baron of this keep. I take my responsibilities seriously, Vérité. More important, a healer should never be required to kill. It would be wrong to ask it of you.” “I’ve had to make this decision and act on it before.” “Perhaps, but you don’t have to follow through this time. Promise me this, Vérité.” Her eyes were moist as they held his gaze. Finally she nodded. “I will allow you to aid her to drink, but the mix will be mine.” “Yea. I understand.” Throughout the rest of the day, each of Judith’s children and grandchildren stopped in to visit with her as if they sensed her end drew nigh. Vérité was concerned Judith would need her during the night, so she’d decided to spend the night at Judith’s side. Eaduin hadn’t demurred, but he ordered her to sleep through the afternoon while he sat with Judith himself.

180

Seeking Truth

Vérité left medicine enough for several doses before returning to their chamber to rest. Though Vérité hadn’t expected to slumber, she slept deeply, waking barely an hour before. Now she hurried down the corridor, slipping into Judith’s room. Eirene sat close to her mother, finally joining the older woman. It was late evening and the rest of the household dined in the great hall. Vérité saw Eaduin seated in a chair across the room, reading the Book of Hours they had purchased from the bookseller. Somehow she’d not expected Eaduin to seek solace in prayers to God, but he always surprised her. She drifted over to him, smiling as their eyes met. She began to kneel beside him but he caught her around the waist, tugging her onto his lap. Vérité glanced over at Eirene, worried they might be disturbing her but she was deep in consultation with Judith. “Fear not, they’ve been whispering together for some time,” he murmured. “Did she require more medicine?” “Twice.” Vérité sighed. It was beginning. “Eaduin…” “I know. Soon. Did you sleep well, my sweet?” Vérité nodded, resting her head on his shoulder. “Surprisingly.” “I’ve been considering your evening plans.” “Eaduin, I must stay.” “I know, but I’ll miss having you at my side tonight so I’ll remain too.” “You have duties and need your rest.” “Perhaps, but I can make up a bed on the floor. We can trade off so neither of us loses too much sleep.” “You don’t have to…” “I know I don’t have to. I want to. I ordered a pallet of straw and bedding brought up for tonight.” “You believe me then.” He nodded, his expression pained and filled with grief. “I do. Do you know when?” “Probably tomorrow.” Vérité looked over to where Judith rested. Judith’s aura had been fading for days, until this morning when it was nearly nonexistent. Now though, Judith’s aura glowed in waves around her, seeming to expand as Vérité watched. The aura was a pale blue almost exactly the color of Judith’s eyes shot through with sparkling white and silver flecks like drops of dew glittering on a spider web just after dawn. In the hours before death a dying person’s aura often underwent this dramatic change, she’d seen it many times in her years as a healer. “Tonight?” “Nay, not yet. But the pain will return more often and with far greater strength in the coming hours. I mustn’t leave her alone.”

181

Francesca Hawley

“You’ll have me by your side, Vérité. You won’t be alone.” Vérité met his grave dark brown eyes. “Thank you. I know you want to be here for Judith too. She’s the mother of your heart.” “Yea. I’m an imperfect and flawed man, but without her care I would have become like my father. Cruel and ruthless. I thank God for her influence in my life each and every day.” Vérité nodded, pressing a kiss to his cheek while she ran her fingers through his dark hair. She turned when she felt a quiet presence beside them. It was Eirene. The young woman dropped a large pillow onto the floor, settling on it beside Eaduin’s chair to lean against his knee. “Mother sleeps again. For now the pain is held at bay.” Vérité nodded. “Thank God.” “Yea. You believe you will need to give her an overdose to ease her?” Vérité colored, looking fearfully at Eaduin. He stiffened, swallowing, but meeting his younger sister’s serious gaze. “We do. It’s kinder than forcing her to endure this pain, Eirene.” Eirene sighed. “Good. It’s what Mother wants though she won’t admit it to anyone. To ask is to chance condemning her soul to eternal damnation as a suicide.” “You’re sure this is what she wants?” Vérité asked. Eirene gave her a cool stare and raised her light brown brows. “I am.” Vérité blinked, remembering the daughter would know her mother’s thoughts. Vérité clasped Eirene’s hand. “Thank you for telling me. Do you approve?” Eirene sighed, looking to where her mother lay softly breathing, squeezing and releasing Vérité’s hand. “I would prefer none of us be forced to make this decision. But on the whole, I approve. If a horse breaks its leg, we put it out of its misery. How can we do less for a person we love?” Eaduin sighed, “I’ll send word to the abbey. Mother Anne may want to come herself, and the sisters should handle preparation of…” Vérité knew he stopped short of saying “the body” but it was what he meant. She patted his arm. “Mother Anne will appreciate it.” After Eaduin sent a rider to the abbey, they spent the rest of the night on vigil beside Judith’s bed. Before dawn, Vérité had been forced to dose Judith three times more. She and Eaduin huddled together, offering each other comfort as they waited for the hours of the night to pass. As if everyone knew Judith’s life was winding down, all members of the family joined them, filling the available floor space. Crispin cradled Isolda to offer his crying wife comfort. Alec and Theo joined the family to pay Judith tribute. All awaited the time when Judith would pass to Heaven.

182

Seeking Truth

The last to join the assembly was the priest Father Michael, who seemed unsurprised to find the room so full. Mother Anne and six nuns followed the priest into the room. They knelt to pray for Judith’s soul. A short time later, Judith woke. She smiled as she saw the nuns and the priest praying for her at her bedside. When the bells tolled the hour of Prime and early morning light shimmered through the window, Father Michael led a quiet family Mass. Judith joined with the family celebrating Communion. At the end of the service, the priest leaned close to Judith. “Do you wish to confess this morning?” “Yea. I would.” As one the family rose to give Judith privacy for her confession. “Wait. I would speak with each of you in turn. But privately. After my confession, I will see Bronwen.” Judith’s soft words startled everyone but were obeyed nonetheless. Vérité remained in case she was needed, but Judith smiled at her, waving her toward the door. “Nay, child. The pain will hold off for a shade longer. I’ll speak to you last. Go on.” Vérité bowed her head, accepting the quiet orders to join the rest of the family milling in the corridor. She walked to Eaduin, standing alone and still as a statue. He refused all comfort to appear stoic and resolute, but Vérité knew better for his eyes were damp even though he shed no tears in grief. He bled inside at the impending loss no matter how calm he appeared for she could see it in the glowing aura that surrounded him. Ignoring his posture, which said “let me be”, she embraced him to pull him close to her. He remained stiff at first but then grasped her convulsively, burying his face in the curve of her shoulder. As she comforted him, she knew she’d done the right thing in forcing her way past his barrier of calm. He deeply needed her. A short time later the priest left the room. He remained close to offer comfort to the family while Bronwen entered the room to converse with Judith privately. Throughout the morning, family members entered Judith’s chamber with tears filling their eyes. When they returned, a glow of acceptance and peace surrounded them. Judith aided each person to accept her passing, yet somehow Vérité doubted Eaduin would return to the assembly with any semblance of serenity. He had fought tooth and nail for Judith to survive and even now he resisted looking at the others after they returned from their private visit with the dying woman. He held Vérité close and she rubbed his back, trying to soothe him. As his time to enter the room approached, he released her and began to pace. Vérité watched his tension grow stronger with each passing moment. Finally he strode down the corridor to stand near the end of the hallway in an alcove. He looked out the small window there, his face tight and his hands clenched. The door opened and Godwin exited, closing the door behind him. His eyes, though red with tears, reflected acceptance and the tension had ebbed from his body. He looked at the assembled before seeing his brother at the end of the hall.

183

Francesca Hawley

“Eaduin. Mother asks for you now.” Eaduin stiffened as though run through with a sword then he walked stiffly down the hall, pausing outside the door. He looked at Vérité briefly, his dark eyes filled with a misery so intense it tore at her. Her throat tightened with unshed tears, feeling his pain beating at her in a way she’d never experienced before. A single tear slipped down his cheek. He faced forward and entered the room, closing the door behind him.

184

Seeking Truth

Chapter Twenty-Five Eaduin leaned back against the door, wiping away the tears that had escaped. He rested his head against the wood, taking deep breaths in a pathetic attempt to gain control of himself. Sobs were building in his chest, tears moistened his eyes, but he would not allow them release. Bloody hell, he was a man not a boy. He would face Judith with dignity and adult acceptance of the inevitable. Eaduin forced his gaze toward the bed. She sat up, propped against white pillows with a serene smile on her face. She almost glowed with the kindness of spirit he knew she possessed. Judith held out her arms to him, making his gut clench as he fought his initial reaction to run to her. He was an adult. He’d given up his childhood years ago, damn it. No tears. No sobs. She cocked her head, smiling gently and beckoning to him. “My sweet boy, come here. Judith will take care of you.” He gasped, carried back his youth. To the first time they met, when she’d said those very words to him. He’d been a young boy and his father had just beaten him for disobedience. Tears welled in his eyes and instead of striding to her bed as a man, he ran to her as a hurt five-year-old, dropping to his knees beside the bed to bury his face in her lap. “Oh my little lad, what a large heart you have.” She ran her hands through his hair as she’d done so many times when he was growing up. Tears welled in his eyes but he fought the sorrow back, beating at it as though it were the enemy, for in truth it was. Judith didn’t need to see his sadness now. Eaduin lifted his head to look into her face, clenching his jaw against the ache in his heart, forcing a smile onto his tight face. She brushed his cheek with her fingers. “Always the brave one. Never let another see your pain. Eaduin, it’s all right to share how you feel. I know you’ll miss me.” “I will,” he gasped, clutching the blankets. No matter how he fought, the love on her face dragged the tears from his eyes. He shook his head, wiping at the dampness— the sign of his weakness. “Your grief isn’t weakness, my son.” She patted his clenched hands. Lifting one hand, she gently pried it loose from the blanket. Judith opened his hand, turning his palm up and running her gentle touch over him. “You have strong hands, lad. Hands to protect a lover. To hold a newborn. To cherish a dying old woman.” His gaze rose to hers, caught by the love shining there. “If not for you, Judith…” He shook his head, his throat closing on the words he so desperately wanted to say. Clutching her hands he fought to speak. He wanted her to know how important she’d

185

Francesca Hawley

been all these years. If not for her, he would be broken beyond repair. “If there hadn’t been you…” he cleared his throat as his voice cracked beneath his emotion, “my life would have been hell on earth.” She leaned over, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I knew the moment I saw you God had given you a kind heart. Watching you take a thrashing rather than beat a dog to death for your father’s amusement told me all I needed to know about the kind of boy you were. The kind of man you could become. I knew I needed to stay here. For you.” “You shouldn’t have. I wasn’t worth it.” “Look at me, Eaduin Kempe.” Reluctantly he lifted his face, blinking tears away in answer to her sharp command. He fought valiantly against his grief. “Yea?” “You were worth it. You are worth it. It’s at times such as these I curse Osweald the loudest. You’re a good man. Believe it in your heart. In your soul. Because I know it’s true.” He smiled, rising to sit beside her on the bed. Eaduin pulled her into his arms. “I wanted to talk about you, yet you make this about me.” “I know my future, Eaduin. I want to be assured of yours.” He leaned back, cupping her face in his hands. “If not for you, I would never have survived to this point. If I was a passable husband and father, it’s all because of you. If I’m a good man, it’s because of your influence. Your love. No one else has ever loved me. Valued me. They waited for me to become my father and many still wait for it. Expect it.” “Only those who don’t truly know you, Eaduin. You will never be the kind of man your father was, praise be to God. If I had even the smallest responsibility for who you are today, then I’m blessed.” Her blue eyes shimmered with tears of happiness. “Perhaps having a hand in your raising will aid me to reach Heaven.” “You’re assured of immediate ascension to God’s side. I’m certain of it.” “I pray you’re right.” “I know I am.” Eaduin blinked his eyes and stared into hers seeing a hint of fear in spite of her composure. He drew her into his arms, rocking her gently, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “You’ll take care of your brothers and sisters?” “Yea. Have no worries for any of them.” “I don’t. You’re a man of your word.” “I love you, Judith. I may not have told you often enough, but I do.” She leaned away. Catching his chin, she forced him to look at her. “I love you too, Eaduin. You are a child of my heart, if not my body. All of your siblings know how I feel, never doubt it. I was granted a great gift the day a beautiful dark-haired, dark-eyed

186

Seeking Truth

little boy looked on me with the eyes of a son. You are my oldest child and I’m very proud of you.” He swallowed, losing the battle against his grief. Eaduin dropped his head to Judith’s shoulder weeping like a lost child. This time, she rocked him in her arms, crooning to him as he cried. Already he felt a hole in his heart causing him to bleed inside and she wasn’t even gone. How would he live without her in his life? She ran her hands over his hair. He took a deep shuddering breath then lifted his head to look into her blue eyes. Judith gently wiped the tears from his cheeks and kissed his forehead. She studied his face, as if memorizing it. With her fingers, she traced the contours of his face. “I’ll miss you so, Judith.” “I know you will, love, but I’ll be here whenever you think of me. When you feel the breeze against your cheek… When you hear the birds in the trees… When you smell the scent of my herb garden… Remember me and know I’m with you. I’m watching over you and always will. And one day, when it’s your time to die, I’ll wait for you and welcome you.” She grasped his hands, kissing his cheek. He stared into her eyes, believing her promise. In some way, she would always be with him. He kissed her hands. “Now, son, send me Vérité.” “Are you in pain?” “A bit, but I want her here because I have words for her too. Once she and I have spoken, she can call you all back into the room to wait for God to call me home.” Eaduin stood, pausing to look down at her. “You really are as beautiful as ever, you know,” he whispered. “Go on with you.” She smiled and waved him to the door. Eaduin left the room and saw his wife standing exactly where he’d left her. He went to her side. “She wants to speak to you now. And Vérité, I think she needs medicine again.” “I’ll make sure she takes some. Are you all right?” Eaduin smiled. “I think I will be.” She hugged him tight then crossed the hall and entered the room. She immediately began to mix up a pain dose. Judith watched her at her work. “Ever the healer.” “Yea. You trained me well. Eaduin said you are in pain. Are you? Answer truly and I’ll know if you lie as you well know.” “He’s correct.” Vérité took Judith a cup of mead mixed with valerian and monkshood. The dosage wasn’t lethal, though she silently acknowledged it might be kinder if it was. She helped

187

Francesca Hawley

Judith to drink. When the cup was empty, she sighed, hoping the medicine would continue to prove effective. The older woman nodded. “Yea, I’m better.” Vérité could see the glow around her flicker, almost like a guttering candle as the herbs began to work. “I’m glad. I don’t want you to suffer unneeded pain.” “Now as for you, lass.” She patted the bed beside her. “Come. Sit with me.” Vérité settled herself. “What more is there to say?” “Are you happy with him?” Vérité looked down. She was more than happy but terrified. In a scant week she’d managed to fall in love with a man who might never share her feelings. “Happy enough.” Judith shook her head. “You’re afraid.” Even desperately ill, her mentor could still read her heart. “Shouldn’t I be?” “Nay. Eaduin is a good man.” “I’ll not argue with you. He is indeed.” “Have you told him about your abilities? It’s important for him to know.” “Yea. He accepted it with amazing grace.” “Good. Such abilities are part and parcel of his life, they shouldn’t shock him unduly. Still you’re afraid. Why?” She shrugged. “We don’t need to discuss me and my worries.” Vérité met Judith’s bright blue eyes. “Thank you for everything you taught me. Those skills made me too useful for Sister Berthe to destroy me with her accusations. My abilities as a healer afforded me status in the abbey, which my father had tried to deny me by incarcerating me there. The years of support you gave meant the world, for your visits offered me hope for a better life.” “I was glad to help you survive those difficult years at the abbey. You were my ablest pupil. None of the sisters could equal you and they all knew it.” She yawned. “The medicine works quickly. Too quickly.” Vérité kissed Judith’s cheek. “Then you sleep and I’ll call the others back.” “Nay. You won’t run from me so soon, lass. Why do you fear Eaduin?” “I don’t fear him.” “Then what do you fear?” Vérité frowned. “It’s nothing.” Her face went red and hot with her lie. Must her body always betray her? She didn’t want to voice her feelings. To speak made it manifest. “Child, don’t lie. You don’t do it well. Come, tell me.” “Eaduin is a good man and we’ll have a good marriage. I need nothing more.”

188

Seeking Truth

Judith chuckled as Vérité’s face again erupted with heat. “Nothing more? I know you have passion between you. Perhaps you need love as well?” “Perhaps. But what we have will do.” Again her face bloomed. Vérité wanted to curse. “No, what you think you have won’t do. What you truly have, will.” “What I truly have? What’s the difference?” “The difference between lust and love.” “I know we have lust.” Judith smiled. “You have more.” “I do. But I want love to be shared, which it won’t be. I’m fortunate he wants me. It could be much worse.” “It could be. Vérité, you must give him more credit. He’s a discerning man, if an often stubborn one. Trust him.” “I’d trust him with my life.” She thought of the vow she’d extracted from him. “With your life…or your death?” “With either.” Vérité blinked, her eyes flying to Judith’s face. Judith couldn’t know because she didn’t hear thoughts. Vérité cast her mind back, remembering Judith and Eirene huddled together whispering. Judith couldn’t hear thoughts…but Eirene could. “Trust him utterly, child. Don’t second guess or try to force the issue. He understands intrigue far better than you.” “Intrigue?” “Yea. Let him face his choice unencumbered by your fear.” “His choice? My fear? Can you not be more specific?” “I’ve found if I tell people my visions, they change. The future is always in motion. The merest breath of wind can change the course of history so I can’t tell you anything precise. I’ve learned hints are the best I can offer, lest I ruin all.” Vérité shook her head. “I trust him. Don’t ask more, I beg you.” Judith stroked her cheek wistfully. “I wish I would still be here one year from now. Remember me then and think about this moment. If all proceeds as I see it, you will be a woman happy and at peace. Your past sacrifices have earned you this.” “I pray you’re right.” “I will be.” Slowly Judith’s eyes drifted shut as the herbs took hold. “I love you, Judith,” Vérité whispered, stroking the beloved face. How long would the pain remain at bay? The episodes of agony were coming more closely together, akin to the pains of birth. Soon the anguish would be constant. It would be then she and Eaduin would need to decide whether or not to ease Judith’s passing. She hoped Eaduin would choose well.

189

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Twenty-Six Hands shook her awake and Vérité looked around her at a circle of concerned faces. She frowned, why did they all stare? Was she dreaming? Then she heard a scream and groaned. Judith. Vérité forced herself to her feet…again. Eaduin sat on the edge of the bed while Judith clutched at him, the nails of her fingers digging furrows in his skin. Somehow he bore it with little more than a twinge. How he managed, Vérité didn’t know. Each round of Judith’s pain was worse as they spiraled closer together, signaling her passing. As if the earth itself felt her agony, a storm raged outside. Thunder shook the walls of the castle. Vérité mixed yet another combination of medicinal herbs together, hoping against hope this would bring ease. It wouldn’t, but she prayed each time. If God would just take Judith…but He didn’t. She brought the cup to Eaduin, who helped Judith drink. Her screams quieted, dulling to groans. For the first time, the pain did not cease entirely. Judith eased back against the pillows, but her twisted expression revealed the persistent ache. Vérité studied the glow surrounding Judith and knew death hastened, but would it come soon enough to prevent the constant hurt she now experienced? Doubtful…for the anguish would grow until she passed. Vérité set her hand on Eaduin’s shoulder, leaning down to whisper in his ear. “It’s time.” He shook his head. Vérité saw spiritual heartbreak flare within his aura. Though he was in his own sort of agony, this couldn’t continue. Judith deserved better. “Eaduin, let’s take a brief walk in the hall.” “Judith needs you here.” “Now.” Her tone brooked no disobedience for at this moment she was healer, not wife. He glowered but nodded reluctant acceptance. “Godwin, watch over her. Call me if I’m needed.” “I will, Brother.” Vérité led the way into the hallway, opting for the alcove at the end of the corridor. She turned. His face was stony, his eyes angry. “Well, woman. What is it?” She sighed. “This can’t continue and you know it.” “What?” “I can no longer end her hurt. Medicine or no, she remains in pain.”

190

Seeking Truth

“Demons in hell!” Eaduin slammed the flat of his hand into the stone wall, scraping the skin. Thankfully he had not punched or the bones would have shattered. Vérité pressed herself against him. “We must give her the gift of freedom. Let her go. To keep her now serves only the living. It affords her nothing but further suffering.” His body was stiff and unyielding. Vérité wanted to cry for reasons in addition to Judith’s death. Eaduin had withdrawn from her, becoming cold. Blaming her. She’d expected it, yet Judith had hinted he loved her. Evidently not. She pulled away for he sought no comfort from her. Vérité blinked tears away while studying him. The forced adjustment to life without Judith glowed in his aura and in his physical tenseness. Finally, he took a deep breath and nodded. “Very well. We’ll let her go.” “Thank you, Eaduin.” She turned to return to the room. “I’ll tell the priest it’s time to administer Extreme Unction.” “Last Rites?” “It’s time.” “A moment, Vérité.” She paused, her back to him. Slowly she faced him. “What is it?” “It’s my duty. I’ll help her drink.” “Nay…” He nodded. “Yea. I meant what I said, Vérité. Healers shouldn’t kill. Leave such things to warriors for we deal in death daily. Besides, I already have blood on my hands. What’s one more drop?” He strode back to the room, leaving her alone by the window. She looked out into the night where lightning flashed, thunder crashed and the wind howled in from the ocean. Closing her eyes, she prayed she urged the right course of action. A course that wouldn’t destroy her marriage in the process. When she entered the room, Father Michael knelt beside the bed to administer Last Rites. Judith sighed when it was done, relieved to be shriven of her sins and able to ascend to Heaven if it was so ordained. The priest then led the family in prayer. Vérité met Eaduin’s dark gaze as he stood silently, leaning against the wall, away from everyone. He nodded once then bent his head to join in the prayer. With a sigh, she took a fresh goblet, pouring a bit of wine into the bottom then added herbs. The herbs would ease pain, but the dosage was strong enough to ease death as well. This time Judith’s pain would truly end. For all time. Topping off the glass with wine, Vérité stirred the lethal drink, swallowing hard then lifting the cup in her hands. When she turned around, all faces watched her and she hesitated. Expressions ranged from hope to sadness. Mother Anne sensed a decision had been made. Smiling gently, she made the sign of the cross in blessing. Finally, Vérité saw Eirene whose

191

Francesca Hawley

expression reflected acceptance and gratitude. Eirene joined her, hugging her gently and kissing her cheek. “Mother wants this, I can hear it. She’ll never ask but she wants to be free. Only you can give her wings, Vérité. Let her fly.” Vérité nodded and took a deep breath. She walked to the bed, but before she reached Judith, Eaduin stopped her. Wordlessly he held out his hands for the cup. Reluctantly, she gave it to him. She settled on the bed, helping Judith sit up to take the medicine. Eaduin sat beside them, staring into the depths of the cup as though seeking direction. Finally, he lifted the goblet to Judith’s lips. She took one sip then leaned back, blinking in surprise. Her eyes went from Eaduin to Vérité and back then she smiled, radiance lit her features. “Thank you, my loves. Thank you.” She took the cup from Eaduin’s hand and drank deeply. It took two attempts to empty the contents then Judith sighed. “A bit more wine. Valerian tastes vile.” Judith patted Vérité’s knee then reached up to stroke Eaduin’s cheek while Vérité rose to fetch another goblet of wine. Again they helped her drink. Vérité checked the glow surrounding Judith. Her aura surged with fierce joyous energy, completely at odds with her dying body. As the herbs did their job, the room grew still and heavy as if the lightning storm outside had somehow joined them within the castle. Suddenly Judith sat up, looking upward as triumph transfigured her face. She grasped Eaduin’s hand and he bent to kiss it before returning his gaze to her beaming countenance. “Light. Such light,” she laughed. “Eaduin, I can see the angels! So beautiful! They’ve come for me!” Tears trailed down Vérité’s cheeks as she watched Judith’s spirit shoot from her body like a bolt from a crossbow. Judith’s now-empty body sagged, the head falling back. One last breath left her body with a sigh then she was gone. Vérité set her gently on the bed watching the spiritual glow leave the lifeless body that no longer held Judith’s boundless soul, for her soul was finally free. She barely heard the priest begin another prayer for Judith’s spirit. A single sob escaped Eaduin then he rose and left the room. Alone. He didn’t want her with him. Vérité blinked the tears from her eyes, focusing on other family members to see if they needed her. Judith’s children hugged one another while Isolda was comforted by her husband, her father-in-law and Sir Theodric. Mother Anne led the nuns in prayer. No one needed her anymore. Yet she had one more task to complete, so Vérité consulted the priest. Father Michael leaned close to her ear. “She’ll be buried in the village cemetery, I assume.” Vérité frowned. “You assume wrong, Father. She’ll be buried here with the family.”

192

Seeking Truth

“But…I mean…I know Lord Kempe loves…loved her. But she was his father’s—” He bit his lip. Vérité stared him down, daring him to say whore. If he said it he would find himself with her fist buried in his midsection, priest or no priest. Hands settled on her shoulders, massaging gently. “My lady is correct, Father Michael. I want Judith buried in the family cemetery near my mother.” “But, my lord…” The priest looked over at the still-grieving family then leaned forward to whisper, “Mistress Judith is a good woman…now, but this decision to bury her with the family will cause outrage.” “Why? We buried my father and sister there and God knows their souls probably taint the very ground in which they lay. Who committed the greater sins?” The priest shook his head. “As you will it. I’ll make the arrangements.” “Thank you, Father.” Vérité looked up at Eaduin, frowning when his hands dropped to his side. He smiled, but his eyes were distant. He still blamed her, even though it was the kindest thing they could have done for Judith. “Why don’t you go to your bed, Vérité? I’ll consult the sisters. Mother Anne and the nuns can provide proper care of Judith’s body.” Vérité stiffened, wrapping her arms around her waist. He didn’t want her here…with the family. “Very well, my lord. As you wish.” She gathered her medicinal supplies, picked up her Book of Hours then left the room without looking back. As Vérité washed herself to prepare for bed, she sighed. She donned a fresh shift, wrapped a cloak around her then went to sit before the fire, lighting a candle. She glanced at the candle briefly then stared at the bed. Tonight was not the time for bed games, though she wished for it. Vérité wished she could bury her grief in Eaduin’s touch. In the thrust of his body into hers. In the shudders of pleasure that racked her body during release. In an act celebrating life, not death. She wiped tears from her cheek. Eaduin would never want her with the same passion as the first idyllic days of their marriage—the days when Judith blessed their union and played matchmaker. If she couldn’t feel Eaduin buried in her body, she could bury herself in prayer. Vérité took up the Book of Hours and quietly began to read the Office of the Dead, whispering the words of prayer aloud. Several times she blinked as she grew drowsy, finally succumbing to sleep. Vérité jumped, waking suddenly, her eyes looking for what woke her. The candle had burned low as had the fire. She looked toward the bed to find it silent testimony to Eaduin’s absence. Reluctantly, she face the inevitable, Eaduin had wanted her while Judith lived. But now that she was gone… Vérité picked up the Book of Hours from

193

Francesca Hawley

where it had fallen from her lap to the floor and went to crawl into their cold bed to sleep the rest of the night away. Vérité slept late for the first time in days, coming to consciousness when she smelled bread and bacon. She pulled the blankets off her head to look around. Had Eaduin brought her breakfast? Nay it was a young woman. A beautiful young woman very much in Eaduin’s style. Vérité bit her lip. Eaduin swore fidelity and he’d spoken truth. He wouldn’t break his word, at least not so soon after their wedding. Vérité cleared her throat and the maid jumped, whipping around. She laid her hand on her full breasts, gasping in surprise. “Oh milady. You gave me such a turn. Forgive me if I woke ye but Lord Kempe say to bring breakfast and fetch a bath when ye were ready.” Vérité climbed out of bed, wrapping her cloak around her. “When did you see Lord Kempe?” “When he came out of chapel this morning. He spent the night on his knees beside Mistress Judith’s body after the sisters bathed and shrouded it.” Vérité colored, feeling small and petty for thinking Eaduin was with another woman last night then she smiled wryly. For in truth, he had been with another woman but Judith was no rival. She already owned Eaduin body and soul just as all mothers own their sons’ affections. Vérité sat down before the food, buttering the warm bread. The maid went to the bed to strip off the linens and put on fresh. Would she ever get used to having someone care for her things this way? When she’d been at the abbey, she had no such luxury. Her nights had been cold and lonely, her food sparse and simple, her bedding rough and scratchy. The life she shared with Eaduin now was completely different. Their food was fresh, flavorful and rich. Their bed was covered with fine linen, thick furs and wool to provide them with warmth. The maid stopped at her side. “When will ye be wanting yer bath, milady?” “When will Judith’s funeral be held?” “Lord Kempe say it be late this afternoon. Men are digging the grave now and her body has been laid in a carved pine box to wait the Mass. His lordship’s insistence for Mistress Judith to rest in the family casket caused no end of trouble.” “Trouble?” “People are gossiping. Some say Mistress Judith be but a common woman and undeserving of such an honor. After all, her five children were born of Lord Osweald, weren’t they? And the two never married.” “Did you ever meet Lord Osweald?” “Nay, milady.” “Then count yourself fortunate. Lord Eaduin is a far better man.”

194

Seeking Truth

“That be just what the older ones say to the complaints. They say Mistress Judith was uncommon smart to not tie herself to the old lord in marriage.” “They are correct,” Vérité agreed as she finished her breakfast quickly, silencing her hunger pangs with relief. “Has anyone dared complain to Lord Eaduin?” “Only one man. He’s nursing a sore jaw for opening his mouth, so no one else has said a word.” “Very prudent of them. Speaking ill of Mistress Judith so soon after her death is illadvised.” Vérité sighed. The priest had been right with his concerns, but she wouldn’t suggest Judith’s body be treated any differently. The maid shifted from foot to foot, waiting for something. Vérité remembered she’d been asked a question. “I’m sorry… What did you say your name was?” “I didn’t. I be Alys, milady.” “A bath can be brought immediately…or as soon as it can be made ready at any rate. Thank you, Alys.” Alys smiled and curtseyed, carrying the bedding away to be laundered. Vérité leaned back in her chair and shook her head. She could not remember a time when she didn’t work from dawn to dusk. She had never sat in a chair to relax while she waited for someone else to bring her bath. At the abbey she took turns working in the laundry, the kitchen and the fields so the convent could be self-sufficient. A mere week could make such a difference. A week ago, Judith smiled at her when she’d walked into the bedroom to offer her healing skills in aid. Today, Judith was gone, soon to be returned to the earth from which God made her. In death, as in life, Judith exerted her influence. Vérité took up the Book of Hours to reread the Office of the Dead while she waited for her bath.

195

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Twenty-Seven When Vérité emerged from the lord’s chamber, silence reigned throughout the castle. The halls were empty. She smoothed the black wool of her bliaut and tucked the wisps of red hair which escaped her braids off her face. Her filmy veil covered her head and the beaten silver circlet at her brow held the sheer linen in place. Finally she resembled the lord’s wife. Vérité descended the staircase into the great hall where people milled. Off-duty men-at-arms clustered in groups, sharpening their weapons. In spite of the swarm of humanity, the room was hushed. Conversations conducted in whispers or murmurs. Eaduin’s grief cast a pall over the entire populace. No one looked familiar to her. How could she have lived in this castle for a week and know so few people? Though she didn’t know them, it was evident they knew her when the nearest group of men rose and bowed as she neared. As if a wave hit the shore, others in the room did the same. Heat swept her face as she forced herself to smile and nod politely at the castle inhabitants. Her focus on Judith’s care had been absolute for she’d barely seen the people of the castle proper. Relief washed over her as Vérité sighted a familiar face. Snoring softly in a chair by the fire sat the steward. Should she approach or hunt for Eaduin on her own? A woman poked the steward sharply in the side so he snorted awake. “Bloody hell, woman. What are you about?” “Watch yer tongue ye old fool.” The woman pointed in Vérité’s direction. When the steward saw her, he flushed from head to foot, stumbling in his haste to get out of his chair. He strode to her then bowed low. “My lady. May I be of service?” He glanced at the chair, a nervous expression creasing his face. She smiled, hoping to ease his nerves. “Yea. Do you know where my lord is?” He swallowed. “I think he’s still at the chapel, my lady. He’s taken a walk or two but always returns to prayer.” Vérité nodded. She’d been afraid she’d find him there still. “Thank you…um…” “James, my lady.” “Thank you Master James.” Vérité crossed the room and again the wave of people rose to bow or curtsey to her as she passed. She fled to a deserted corridor she recognized. It led to the courtyard. She’d faded into the background for so long she didn’t know how to be the center of attention. Gazes followed as she strode from the great hall. 196

Seeking Truth

Outside a steady drizzle dampened the ground and the gray skies looked neverending. She knew the chapel was to the north, but with no sunlight she felt disoriented. It had to be somewhere, but where? Rather than stand in the rain, Vérité walked. Men and women she didn’t recognize bowed as she passed. She rounded a corner, sighing in relief as she recognized the chapel. Vérité entered softly, pausing inside the doors to allow her eyes to adjust to the dim candlelit interior. Near the front of the Church, a pine box rested on a bier. Beside the box knelt Eaduin, his head bowed in prayer. Softly she approached the front of the Church, genuflecting as she neared the altar. She settled on her knees at Eaduin’s side, bending her head in silent prayer for Judith’s soul. Vérité completed her prayer then glanced at Eaduin. He watched her, his face expressionless. “Good morning, wife.” “Good morning, my lord. How fare your knees?” “My knees?” “I’m told you spent the night here.” He shrugged. “It was the least I could do.” “The least you could do? I don’t understand.” Eaduin shook his head wordlessly, staring at the coffin. Vérité allowed her eyes to unfocus in an effort to read his aura. The glow surrounding him showed a man disturbed, sad and uncertain. Such emotions were normal for a person experiencing grief, yet she sensed more. If only she could understand, she might help. “When will the funeral take place?” “This afternoon, a candlemark after midday meal.” “Have you eaten?” “Nay. I’m not hungry.” “Eaduin, you must eat, it’s not healthy.” “Nay.” Vérité reached out but he withdrew from her touch. She dropped her hand as though burned. Without a word, she rose, blinking away tears and swallowing to keep her pain inside so he wouldn’t see. She refused to sob. Not now. She genuflected to the altar then walked down the aisle. “Vérité?” She turned abruptly. Hopeful until she saw him staring at the altar. She cleared her throat. “Yea?” “Thank you.” She nodded. Thank you for leaving? Thank you for not touching him? It was clear to her Eaduin blamed her for Judith’s death. Vérité emerged into the gloom of the day, unsettled and hurt by his abandonment. Without Judith she had no purpose here, but

197

Francesca Hawley

she knew she was needed. Hundreds of people within these walls needed her care. She must make herself useful. Judith’s garden and stillroom needed her attention. Vérité went to work with a will, weeding, picking herbs and setting them in the stillroom to dry. She fixed simple, often used, remedies that didn’t lose their efficacy after preparation. She paused when a knock on the door sounded. “Yea?” The door flew open. “Here you are! We’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Isolda tapped her foot, a scowl on her face. “My lady, your father may be amused when you treat him like an errant child but I am not. I have been working here since I left your father in the chapel, making no secret of my whereabouts. Now why are you so agitated?” Isolda rolled her eyes. “It’s time for the service.” Vérité frowned. “It can’t be. I’ve worked only an hour.” “It is an hour after midday, or will be in a few minutes. We’ve been searching for you for nearly half a candlemark.” “Very well, let us go. I’d no notion how long I worked.” “Why are you here? Papa needs you.” “Nay. He does not.” Vérité pursed her lips, walking past the younger woman toward the chapel. “I would think it would please you that we are apart.” “Wait!” Isolda closed the door and followed quickly. “Why are you not together?” “You longed to comfort him. My absence should have benefited you.” “It hasn’t. He wants you.” “Nay.” “I don’t understand you. You have been often together in the past days, yet now with Judith gone when he needs you most, you desert him.” Vérité came to a stop, whipping around to face the young woman. “I did not desert him, rather he abandoned me. With Judith dead, he wants no part of me. He’s made such abundantly clear. You’ve won. I hope you’re pleased.” Vérité left her stepdaughter standing alone with her mouth open. Isolda reached her side but Vérité ignored her as they strode silently to the chapel. Inside, Vérité approached the altar, genuflecting before taking her place at Eaduin’s side. Mother Anne and the nuns knelt beside the casket praying while across from them a group of monks chanted in prayer. To her knowledge no monastery rested on Kempe lands, so when had they been called? Eaduin’s eyes were fixed forward and his hands were clasped in prayer. As if carved of stone he knelt stiffly, seeking no comfort. No contact at all. Vérité sighed as the Requiem Mass began. Though she fought it, tears streaked her cheeks as they bid Judith a formal goodbye. When Mass ended, Father Michael left the altar, changed into his cope and offered Judith’s shrouded body the final blessing of absolution.

198

Seeking Truth

He sprinkled her with holy water then censed her with swings of his thurible. The scent of the incense soothed Vérité’s grief as the familiarity of the service offered comfort. Eaduin, Godwin and Judith’s younger sons Wystan and Leofric joined the monks to hoist the coffin for the procession to the graveyard. Vérité processed beside Isolda with Bronwen and Eirene directly behind, following the casket on its way to the cemetery. Behind the family, the nuns joined the ranks, praying in unison with the monks. Most of the inhabitants of the castle and the village of Kempe Heath waited solemnly in the castle courtyard. The procession filed among them. Vérité and family members handed out the customary bread to the poor as they passed through the mourners. Inside the cemetery gates the pallbearers approached the open grave then set down the casket. Eaduin and Godwin lifted Judith’s shrouded body from the casket and placed her in the grave. When the burial portion of the service was completed, Vérité reached for the girdle around her waist to withdraw spring flowers and fragrant herbs she’d tucked there when she weeded Judith’s garden earlier. She tossed them into the grave. Their husbands comforted Isolda and Bronwen, so Vérité held Eirene’s hand, offering solace. Eaduin stared as dirt was tossed into the hole. Out of respect, everyone remained while Judith was buried. Once the grave was filled and the mound of earth rose over it, mourners left. Thunder crashed sharply, eliciting gasps from those few still present then the skies opened and the rain poured. Vérité wanted to comfort Eaduin, but his withdrawal was resolute. Absolute. A statue in the pouring rain. So she left him to his grief. Eirene stopped her just inside the cemetery gates. “You mustn’t leave him.” “He doesn’t want me here.” “Eaduin wants you desperately.” “He doesn’t. I tried to speak to him this morning and he pulled away.” “He’s in pain.” “I know. I want to help him, Eirene, but he blames me for your mother’s death. She was dying anyway, but he blames me for hastening things.” “Nay. It’s not you he blames.” “I don’t understand.” “I know. Eaduin must explain. Only then will he heal. You must reach him.” “But what can I do?” Eirene gazed into her eyes. “You must break down his walls. He won’t help, but you must. Your future depends on this moment and the choice you make, and so does his. His soul is in grave danger.” “Danger? Is this the choice Judith spoke about?” “Eaduin’s choice is something different. Your choice is now, but it will influence his. Choose well.” 199

Francesca Hawley

Eirene left her alone. She looked back toward the grave. Eaduin, the statue, was gone. In its place knelt a grieving man—his shoulders bowed and shaking. Even if she wanted to, she couldn’t abandon him. The heavy rains soaked her, causing her linen veil to stick to her head and face, but the warm rain seemed like God blessed Judith’s resting place with his tears. Vérité lifted her face, letting the rain stream over her. She pulled her veil off, using it to tie the circlet to her girdle. Taking a deep breath, she approached Eaduin. “Eaduin.” Briefly he lifted his head. Extreme inner torture replaced the normal physical beauty on his face. His face twisted with a combination of grief and guilt, embodying suffering. Tears streaked his cheeks even as the storm washed them away. Eaduin hid from her. “Go away, Vérité. I don’t want you here.” His aura showed the lie, flickering violently. “You lie.” He sprang up, grasping her arms to shake her. “Damn it, I want to be alone with my grief. Just go!” She could see the lie for what it was now. Somehow as Judith said, she let her own fears blind her to his reactions. “I won’t leave you, Eaduin, not when you need me so much.” “I don’t need anyone.” His aura flared as he released her, pushing her from him. Vérité embraced him, clinging though he remained stiff and unyielding. “You need me. You need Isolda. You need your brothers and sisters.” “Isolda has her husband and my siblings have each other.” “Who do I have, Eaduin?” “Your family.” “My father? He loved me so dearly he imprisoned me. Who else have I?” He refused to meet her gaze so she grasped his beard, tugging his chin down. Eaduin scowled. “Damn it, Vérité, I’m not worth anyone’s care. Judith loved me. She’s the only one who ever has and I destroyed her.” “Judith didn’t die because of you.” “Yes, she did.” Eaduin tore himself from her arms, turning his back. “I murdered her. I killed the only person who had any affection for me. I’m as evil as my father.” “Nay!” Vérité grabbed him, tugging him around. “You are not evil. Never say such a thing again.” “I killed her. If there was a doubt of ending in hell before, I know I’ll be banished as a murderer now. You should be disgusted with me.” “Disgusted? Eaduin, if you are a murderer, then what am I? I put the weapon of her death into your hand.”

200

Seeking Truth

He frowned. “Nay. You save lives.” “I didn’t save Judith.” “You couldn’t. She was dying. There was nothing you could do.” “You’re right.” Eaduin shook his head, confusion evident. “I didn’t expect you to agree.” “Think on what you said, Eaduin. She was dying and there was nothing I could do. If there was nothing I, as a healer could do, then what more could you have done?” “But I gave her poison. I lied to her and handed her a goblet filled with death. At least, I should have told her.” “And have her refuse to drink? Nay.” “But…” “Eaduin, after the first sip she knew exactly what she drank. She was a healer! Why do you think she paused after her first taste? Judith looked at us both and she thanked us. She took the cup into her own hands and drank. She knew. You didn’t kill her any more than I did. God took her, as was right. We merely eased her pain.” “You believe that?” “I have to.” “But then she killed herself?” “Nay. She took medicine to stop her pain. God decided the monkshood should work a miracle and hurry her passing.” “But if we didn’t kill her, and she didn’t kill herself…” “God took his child home as was right and proper. We might have wished her here longer, but He knew it was time for her to go.” “Then why not take her days ago?” “She wasn’t prepared, but last night she was. We merely helped Him in His task.” “I’m a simple man. Not one given to religious deliberation, so I pray God agrees with your assessment.” “I think He will. As Eirene said, we aid suffering animals. Should we not also end the torment of those we love when nothing more can be done?” “When nothing more can be done… But what of the vow you asked of me? Will I not murder you if I fulfill it?” “Nay, for you will be honoring a vow you made to me. A vow to which I hold you. It won’t be murder, for you would be ending my pain before it begins.” “I pray God I’ll never be required to fulfill my vow.” “As do I.” Vérité pressed against him, sighing when his arms slowly came around her, responding to her embrace. She kissed his damp cheek. “Come, Eaduin, let us go to our rooms to dry off.” Slowly like an old man he walked beside her as they returned to the castle.

201

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Twenty-Eight Bronwen and Eirene waited with toweling at the castle door. Bronwen covered her brother while Eirene did the same for her. Vérité looked into Eirene’s eyes, asking silently if she’d done the right thing. The younger woman smiled and nodded. “Thank you. You’re the only one who could have brought him inside,” Eirene whispered. Vérité nodded. She put her arm around Eaduin. “We will go to our rooms to change. Could someone send us food?” “It awaits you,” Bronwen assured her. As they traveled the hallway, Vérité noted each family member had waited, even Lord Alec and Sir Theodric. Every face reflected relief despite the agony still upon Eaduin. Yet all sensed a crisis averted. They ascended to their room. Eaduin’s step was slow and tentative, which contrasted sharply with the vital, passionate man she’d married a week ago. She escorted him into their solar then to the blazing fire. She helped him sit on a stool. As he started to shiver, she eased off his boots, thankful to remove them before the leather tightened. “We both smell like sheep.” She wrinkled her nose. “Sheep?” “All this wet wool. Come, lift your arms.” He followed her instructions, uncharacteristically obedient. She pulled off his bliaut and shook her head at the sight of his undertunic streaked with black dye from the wool. No doubt her underdress and shift were the same. He looked down at his chest, chuckling. “We’re a mess.” “We are indeed, husband.” Eaduin’s eyes widened and he sat up as if life had returned to him. “Is something wrong?” “What did you call me?” Eaduin couldn’t believe it. Warmth began to seep through his veins and he inhaled as if the world once again moved forward. Vérité had called him husband, acknowledging his place in her life. His gut twisted with tension as he waited for her to recognize her words. She cocked her head, considering. “Husband?” Her uncertainty made it obvious she hadn’t calculated her words the way his father or sister would have. Her honesty added to the sweetness of hearing her say the word.

202

Seeking Truth

Eaduin bit his lip. “It’s the first time you’ve ever called me husband.” “Surely not.” She seemed genuinely surprised. “It is, Vérité.” “It’s important?” She studied him as she always did when looking for falsehood. “Yea.” He captured her face gently in his hands. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to hers, nibbling at her mouth. “Very important.” She leaned back smiling up at him, her eyes soft and liquid. He closed his eyes when she traced her fingers over his cheek. “We need to get you out of your wet clothes, my lord.” “By all means.” How could he show her how much her words meant? As he peeled off his clothing, he savored the flush of desire that colored her cheeks as she watched him undress. “The dye soaked through from the wool.” She smiled, surveying the dye streaks decorating his flesh. “I’ll survive. I don’t think it will rub off just yet.” He lifted the toweling to rub at the dye stains but they remained. Vérité licked her lips as she watched him. She must have missed him as much as he’d missed her this past week. “Aren’t you cold, Eaduin?” “Do I look cold?” Vérité stared at his hard, thick cock. “Not in the least.” “But you must be. Let’s remove your wet garments.” Eaduin unfastened her girdle, tossing it into the chair behind her. He helped her pull off her wool bliaut. Her underdress was marked with black dye like his tunic. “I wonder if it will ever come clean,” she chuckled. He cupped her cheek, tipping her chin so she met his gaze. “I’m sure close contact with you will wash the stain away. It worked with me.” When he kissed her, she embraced him, leaning into his kiss. “I’ve missed you, husband.” “And I you, wife.” He removed her underdress and shift. Her bare skin shimmered in the glow of the flickering fire. Vérité was so beautiful. To lose one woman he loved but gain another shook him to his core. He stilled as he stared at her. Loved. He couldn’t love her, could he? So soon? When she shivered, he pulled her close to share his heat. Her soft skin pressed against his eased something inside that had been tight and closed, bringing a sense of peace. Her hands gently stroked the dusting of hair covering his chest, petting to soothe him. Could she sense how close his emotions were to the surface? He blinked moisture from his eyes. He was a man and she was a woman—only one way felt right to show

203

Francesca Hawley

her how highly he valued her. Tracing the dye marks along her shoulder with his fingertip, he lowered his head to taste her skin. Vérité sighed, closing her eyes. “Vérité” “Hmmmm?” “The bed awaits us.” Reluctantly she opened her eyes, blinking slowly. “Aren’t you hungry?” “Yea, my lady. Did I not suggest we climb into bed?” She pulled away, a smile on her face. She picked up a bite of egg tart from the tray on a nearby table. “Open up, husband. You haven’t eaten for the better part of two days. We can’t have you losing your strength at a critical time in our activities.” “I’ve never been accused of having a weak cock. But dutiful husband that I am, I’m willing to allay your concerns.” “You’re so good to me, Eaduin.” Vérité fed him, licking her lips as she watched him eat. “We can’t neglect your strength.” He picked up a piece of sausage, groaning as she nibbled at it. “Woman, you torment me.” “Aren’t I supposed to?” “Cheeky lass.” “So I’ve been told.” “Try my patience and you’ll experience the consequences.” He slapped her arse, smiling when she shivered in reaction. She pressed her moist cunt against his leg to ride his thigh, so he slapped her bottom again. “Consequences, husband? Promises, more like.” She picked up another bite of cheese to feed to him while she wriggled against his leg. “Wicked wench.” “Ah, but you wouldn’t want me any other way.” “Too true.” She was exactly the woman he would have chosen if the fates hadn’t intervened. Or if Judith hadn’t. Eaduin took her mouth in a fierce kiss, grasping her arse in his hands to knead the soft flesh. Vérité moaned against his lips and encircled his neck with her arms. She thrust against him, throwing herself into his kisses with delight. How he’d missed this. The smell of her. The taste of her. The softness of her. Their tongues twined and teased. Eaduin sighed when Vérité stroked his shoulders, sliding her palms over his hair-roughened chest. She pulled her mouth from his to press hot kisses to his neck. Eaduin threw back his head, groaning when her mouth covered a tight nipple to torment it with her tongue. While she sucked on his nipples, she trailed her hands down his back to grip his firm arse then sunk to her knees, tonguing his tight belly on her way down. His gut quivered under her lips and he smiled, enjoying the sensation.

204

Seeking Truth

She rubbed his chest and gut, lightly tugging at the hairs to tease him then grasped his aching cock in her hands, using the cream that seeped from the tip to smooth her path. She’d learned quickly how to please him. Perhaps they should buy some more wool as a thank you for Emma’s tutelage. “Yea. Don’t stop, my sweet,” he growled, loosening her hair to spread it over her shoulders while she caressed his cock in her rough hands. He almost hoped her hands never grew as smooth as a lady’s hands should be. Her touch felt so good. Eaduin ran his fingers through her glorious red hair and met her gaze when she opened her mouth to taste his cock. The first stroke of her tongue teased the underside of the tip, making it jerk from her questing mouth. “Don’t pull him away.” He laughed. “I did nothing. My cock appears to have a mind of his own.” “Then we must teach him better manners.” She grasped him firmly but gently, flicking her tongue over the shaft and head. “Oh God in Heaven,” he breathed, letting his head fall back as he caressed her cheek and stroked her hair. Her tongue danced along the shaft, flicking against the ridged length and searching out the most sensitive spots to tantalize. She pushed his cock up along his belly to suck and lap at the underside of the shaft. When she sucked his ballocks, he almost fell to his knees, especially when she focused the tip of her tongue behind his balls. Growling, he cupped her head and tugged at her hair to hold her taunting mouth against him. She alternated between licking and sucking him before she added her hands to the play. She fondled his cock, sliding her hands along the length of him until he thought he might lose his mind. As she suckled him, he could hear her moaning with her own arousal. He forced his eyes down to watch her as she took him with her mouth. If he had ever seen anything more pleasing, he couldn’t think of it. Her closed eyes focused her attention entirely on his cock. Her pink tongue appeared and disappeared as if by magic, leaving pleasure in its wake. Eaduin couldn’t prevent his hips from thrusting toward her, encouraging her to greater efforts. He groaned when she responded wholeheartedly by engulfing the head of his cock in her warm, wet mouth. Driving him close to the edge. “Vérité, you must stop else I’ll come.” The breathy sound of his voice startled him, so he cleared his throat. She paused and met his gaze. “I want you to come. Please, Eaduin…” “But, Vérité…” Rather than responding, she sucked him back into her mouth, her hands caressing his ballocks. She flicked her tongue over the shaft and drew away, blowing on the head to cool it. The contrast between the cold and heat was exquisite. He looked down at her, seeing her smile as a pearl of fluid oozed from the tip of his cock. When she ran a fingertip over him, he nearly climaxed, straining against it. Damn it, he wanted to shoot

205

Francesca Hawley

his seed into her cunt not her mouth. Almost immediately, her mouth took him again, making all thought leave him. All he could think of was her mouth, her hands, and the way they tormented his cock. She swallowed him, sucking him deep into her mouth while her fingers found his balls again. As she stroked the back of his balls, he widened his stance to encourage her teasing touch. His chest rose and fell as he gasped harshly. The feel of his own sweat sliding over his skin added to his pleasure and torment as his muscles tightened in preparation for release. He gave himself completely to her mouth, thrusting his cock into the depths of her. Moaning with each flick of her tongue. “Just a bit more, sweetling. Oh yea.” He felt her fingertip slide behind his balls, gasping when she went farther. She pressed against his arsehole. He froze, his gaze flying to her face. Just as he met her wicked eyes, her finger penetrated him, sliding inside. “What are you…?” Then he felt it…her finger pressing inside his arse stimulated an explosion of Biblical proportions. Fire flooded his body as she stroked and sucked him, and try though he might he couldn’t fight his release anymore. He roared as his seed erupted, feeling as though his balls were emptying. Turning inside out in an effort to burst. Muscles clenched and hips jerked while he shook in the throes of a bone-jarring climax. All the while her finger continued to tease his arse and her mouth swallowed him, drinking his cream as though she’d never tasted anything more delectable. He fought to stay on his feet while she dragged out his pleasure, but finally he lost the fight and sank to his knees in front of Vérité. “Oh fuck…” His head drooped. He couldn’t ever remember feeling so spent…or so at peace. She pulled him into her arms, kissing his cheek and neck. Eaduin fought the inertia and lifted his head to meet her eyes. Only Emma could have taught her that particular trick, but he’d never responded so intensely when Emma performed it. Vérité’s smile was both teasing and wicked, and he couldn’t help but respond with a weak chuckle. Cuddling her, he took her mouth to enjoy the taste of his desire there and on her face. “Thank you, sweetling. I needed this.” “I know.” “But you realize it will take me some time to recover.” “We can eat and sleep.” “Without you achieving your bliss? I think not.” Eaduin thought a moment then grinned. Oh, they had a way to please her. “I think we have something we can use until I can rise to the occasion.” She frowned. “I’m fine. Truly.” “Well, I am not. Never let it be said I withheld satisfaction from my woman.” He kissed her. “Of course I have mouth and fingers, but we have additional tools.”

206

Seeking Truth

Her eyes widened when she remembered. “The candles?” “Yea. The candles.” He pulled her closer then slid his fingers between her legs to penetrate her cunt with his fingers. So wet. Tight. “Let us see how they fit.” “But…” “But?” He raised his brows, wishing he had her ability to see truth. Was she frightened? He tipped her chin up to look in her eyes. She bit her lip, coloring. Nervous. Yea. But no outright fear. So what caused the hesitation? She licked her lips and he fought his inclination to cover her mouth and chase her tongue with his. Why so tentative? “Well, my lady?” “They were rather large, my lord.” “They?” “The candles.” He chuckled, relief flooding him for this was a concern he could render moot. “If it doesn’t fit, we’ll remove it and I’ll use my fingers. At least until we can commission the chandler to make some that are slightly smaller.” Vérité shivered, rocking her hips against his hand. He had to taste her. Soon. “Well, my lady?” “Very well,” she sighed, closing her eyes as he teased her bud. “I think they’ll fit well enough.” “Why?” “The chandler’s wife measured me so her husband knew how large to make the candles.” “She what?” Vérité’s eyes snapped open. “Measured me. The candles are made to my size.” “But…they’re huge.” “Thank you.” He threw back his head, laughing with delight as he met her confused gaze. She considered. “Then you were…” “Yes, I was hard when she measured me.” “How did the chandler react?” “Well, he supervised the process. I must say it was entertaining. I expected him to be quite jealous, Like Emma’s husband, but he found the process most…appealing.” “She aroused you?” “I started to take care of myself but the chandler could see his wife’s hunger and encouraged her to help me if I had no objection. I didn’t and neither did she.” Vérité laughed. “No wonder he seemed to enjoy my reaction when we bought them.” “Had I wanted to fuck her while he watched, I think he would have been pleased.”

207

Francesca Hawley

“Did you?” “Nay. I may have known her before, but she’s married now.” “Known her? She was one of your women too?” Eaduin swore under his breath. He hadn’t meant to confess, but her response to the story… He spread her increased moisture over her cunt, pressing against her bud to divert her. She moaned, jerking against his hand. She held his arm tight while he thrust his fingers inside then she growled, forcing his hand away. “Is there any woman in the village you’ve not had?” “A few.” “A few? Only a few?” He winced as her voice rose. “I am the lord here. Sharing my bed is considered something of an honor, or so I understand.” “Noblesse oblige?” “Nay. I don’t take what’s not offered. But I’ve turned down few who’ve asked.” Her brows lowered in irritation. “The maid Alys?” “Alys?” “She brought me breakfast this morning.” “Nay. She’s barely older than Isolda.” “But she’s quite lovely.” “Perhaps, but I don’t bed girls young enough to be my child. I’m not my father.” “Saints be praised.” Her face softened and she kissed him. “Let us to bed, wife.” He drew her to her feet. She caught the plate of food in her hand as he tugged her toward the bed. When she set the plate on the top step, he tumbled her to the bed, climbing in after her. He loomed over her and took in her pale, dye-streaked skin, tight nipples and flame-red hair. “Vérité, fear not. I want no woman but you.” “Are you certain?” “I am. No woman before you has ever brought me to my knees in pleasure so I’ll not forgo the delight found here for a momentary diversion.” “Not even Emma?” “Nay. Talented as she was, I was in control with her. But you…with you I have no control.” He covered her mouth with his and her sigh told him all he needed to know.

208

Seeking Truth

Chapter Twenty-Nine Eaduin lifted his mouth from hers to cup her full breasts. One day these glorious globes would suckle his children. The knowledge of their future awed him. He might not have Judith’s gift, but he could see a lifetime with this woman he’d never before hoped to experience. Happiness and comfort. Perhaps even love? He stared into her green eyes as he pinched her nipples, tugging gently. She whimpered, arching under his touch. He lowered his head, lightly trailing his tongue over her lips. He smiled as she tried to catch his mouth, but he eluded her then went back to her mouth, dipping inside. Their breaths mingled along with their tongues while he played her breast. His hands trembled as he aroused her, and he shivered when her arms came up to encircle his neck. They felt right together. As if God had made them for one another. Briefly, he closed his eyes. Thank you, Judith. Thank you for finding her for me. Somehow he knew his foster mother heard and approved. Her skin was soft as silk under his mouth as he pressed kisses to her shoulder, fondling her body. Teasing her nipples, caressing her belly and stroking her damp cunt. She twisted beneath him, arching for more. He kissed her mouth then leaned away, waiting until she opened her eyes. He smiled wickedly. “Time to get a candle, I think.” She shivered, parting her legs as she stared into his eyes. Yea, she wanted to try even through her uncertainty. Eaduin swallowed the lump in his throat at her trust in him. He crawled to the cabinets built into the headboard and drew out a thick beeswax candle. Vérité stared at the length and breadth of the candle, delicate color rising in her cheeks. He knew she was imagining it inside her when she spread her legs and arched her hips. Eaduin decided not to bind her this time, but one day he’d tie her to the bed and drive her into a frenzy. He could almost hear her screams and sweet pleading for release. His cock stirred to life at the image, but it was not yet hard enough to take her. Soon. It wouldn’t take him long to rise in answer to her need. He settled between her parted thighs and set the candle on her belly to warm, smiling as she shivered under the weight of the beeswax cock. Her nipples tightened in anticipation so he plucked them, making her gasp. “Oh Eaduin…” He parted her folds to afford him access to the trembling pearl within, breathing in her musky scent. When he drew his finger over her, she jerked and sobbed. He slid a finger inside, enjoying the way her body clenched on him as he pushed forward.

209

Francesca Hawley

“Yea. Don’t stop. Please…” “I won’t stop, sweetling. Never fear.” He withdrew then eased a second finger into her body alongside the first, stretching her while he teased her bud with his thumb. He maintained an easy, gentle rhythm with his hand, dragging broken moans from her. He licked his lips as his fingers grew wetter each time he withdrew them. Her hips bucked, moving in concert with him to increase her joy. The candle rolled off her body as her movements grew more uninhibited, resting beside her on the bed. His cock tightened as he drove her upward on a climb toward her peak. Her response was all he could wish. He had to taste her. Drink her in. Eaduin lowered his head to flick his tongue against her taut bud. She mewled, shuddering as he sucked her into his mouth, drawing on her. She arched and shook with a quick release. Eaduin lifted his head, continuing his gentle penetration of her cunt. She sighed and relaxed, smiling at him. Her slumberous eyes focused slowly and he waited until he was sure she was alert again before he picked up the candle. Her eyes widened and he knew she was aware of his intent. He pulled his hand from her dampness and coated the cock-shaped candle with her juices, positioning it. Her muscles tensed and he knew it would hurt her if he sheathed the candle inside her right now, so he teased her bud before running the thick shaft along her damp folds. She moaned, her gaze meeting his. “Eaduin?” “Be content. Close your eyes and enjoy.” She obeyed him, and gradually she relaxed enough to move with the teasing of the candle. “Play with your nipples, sweetling. Tug at them.” She covered her breasts with her hands and used thumbs and forefingers to pinch and tug her taut nipples. Her hips rocked and the flush of arousal spread over her. Broken gasping groans rose from her and Eaduin licked his lips. He pressed the tip of the candle against her cunt to ease it into her, pausing when she tensed. He stroked her bud and again Vérité relaxed, opening to accept more of the candle. His cock ached and Eaduin envied the candle. He pulled it out then eased forward. This time she took it just a hair deeper than before. Again he withdrew, sinking the candle back inside. With each stroke she took more, opening wider and moving with the thrust. Her very tentativeness excited him, leaving him with the feeling of taking her virginity all over again. She bent her knees, settling her feet on the bed beside his hips. This time instead of merely rocking her hips, she lifted them and opened wider to take more of the candle that now glistened with her juices. “Yea, Eaduin. Don’t stop. Please…” “I won’t.” He promised, pressing his thumb to her bud while his other hand wielded the candle. He groaned when she finally engulfed the full length. Slowly he

210

Seeking Truth

increased the speed of the candle’s thrust. Each time it sank into her his cock tightened with sympathetic need. Her skin dewed with sweat as she drove her body toward release. Eaduin loved the pink flush stealing over her breasts and belly as Vérité neared her peak. Watching her twist and thrust made his cock twitch with urgency. He lowered his mouth to suck on her while driving deep with the candle. She shrieked, shuddering helplessly while he nibbled and sucked her, piercing her core with the candle repeatedly. He pulled back to watch her cunt ripple against the thickness of the beeswax candle. “Eaduin, please fuck me. I can’t wait anymore.” She clutched at his hair. “Neither can I, sweetling. Neither can I.” He pulled out the candle, tossed it onto the bedding and fell on her. Her cunt throbbed around him as he slid deep inside her wet heat. Her legs wrapped around his waist and her arms clutched his shoulders. She bit his shoulder, scratching his back as she bucked under him. “Harder, Eaduin. Take me harder!” He plunged deep, groaning as she clenched on him. “Is this hard enough?” “Nay. More. I want more of you.” Eaduin captured her mouth, twining his tongue with hers then groaned when her cunt constricted around him. Each time he hilted in her, her inner muscles gripped tighter, fighting his withdrawal. He clenched his jaw, determined to bring her release yet make this last. He tugged his mouth away from hers, savoring the sound of her gasps and moans as he thrust harder. Her tipped breasts poked at him, begging for attention he was only too happy to give so he suckled and nipped to tease her sensitive flesh. “Yea, Eaduin.” She wound her fingers through his hair, holding his mouth in place as she rose to meet his lunges. He closed his eyes, his gut as tight as leather in an effort to prevent his climax. As he plunged into her, he rolled his hips, pressing firmly with each stroke. Vérité shuddered, hurling herself onto him. She shouted as she came apart in his arms. He drove her further, smiling as she clutched at him frantically, waves of pleasure shaking her body. As each wave hit her, the inner walls of her cunt undulated along the full length of his shaft, nearly undermining his intent to remain hard so they could continue their love play. Eaduin pressed kisses to her slick neck and chin, licking the droplets of sweat from her skin. She tasted as fine as aged wine and he’d never tire of drinking her in. He slowed his thrusts until he rested inside her, unmoving but still thick and hard. Ready to resume when she was able to take more. He caressed her soft breasts. His touch soothed yet drew out her pleasure in the aftermath of her release.

211

Francesca Hawley

Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled at him. Her smile ripped out his heart with its tenderness. Vérité reached up to run her fingers over his cheek then traced his lips. He kissed her fingers then her palm. “Thank you,” she sighed. “Thank you, my sweet.” He leaned down to softly kiss her parted lips. Her immediate response was a balm to his soul. Just knowing she was here for him made all the difference in how he viewed his future. With Vérité, he actually had one. Without her… It didn’t bear thinking on. He shifted on her and her brow crinkled in confusion. “You’re still hard?” “Yea.” “But why?” “We’re not done. We’re just resting.” “Are we?” she chuckled, running her palm over his chest. “We are.” He rolled onto his back, taking her with him so she laid spread out on top of him. She gasped, looking down at him wide-eyed. “What? Why?” “Why not?” He pulled her close, tucking her head into his shoulder. “Rest for a few moments, sweetling. We’ve all night to enjoy more.” Eaduin gathered her close, stroking her from her head to the small of her back and up again. He couldn’t remember ever wanting to be tender with a woman, but he reveled in Vérité’s soft sighs of bliss as he caressed her. The weight of her on his body as he held her warmed his soul. It was a novel experience, but he savored in it. He felt whole for the first time and he wanted to wake this way every day for the rest of his life. “Eaduin, I…” “Yea?” “Nothing.” Vérité sighed, listening to the beat of Eaduin’s heart beneath her ear. He seemed different tonight. Was it losing Judith, or was there more? A part of her wished this was his way of admitting love, but she didn’t want to ask. She didn’t want to say it first. She kissed his chest, running her fingers over his damp skin. If she told him she loved him and he grew quiet or worse, apologetic, it would ruin everything. Nay, better to feel but leave the words unspoken. At least they’d have this between them. He tipped up her chin to gaze into her eyes. He seemed tranquil and his eyes held a languid pleasure. If only she could read his thoughts as Eirene could. To know whether he was as happy as she. His dark eyes hinted at emotion. Her sight revealed his desire and happiness. Contentedness. But nothing more definite. What did he see when he looked at her? She could drown in his dark eyes. Deep. Fathomless. So much stirred in the depths of him but so little of it showed on the surface. She might expect him to be vain, yet he barely acknowledged or even noticed his handsomeness. Women of all ages watched him with hunger when he strode 212

Seeking Truth

nearby, and several times Vérité had longed to attack women with one of the blacksmith’s new swords. Somehow though, Eaduin saw only her. Vérité leaned forward to kiss his soft lips then traced a path over his mouth with her fingertip. When he kissed her finger, she laughed. She smoothed the hair of his mustache and beard, it was softer than she expected. She returned to stroke his mouth. He caressed her back and bottom as she lay above him exploring his features. “I love your lips. Your lips and your cock are the only soft spots on you.” He hitched his hips. “My cock is not soft in the least, my lady.” She giggled at his affronted expression. “I didn’t mean that. I meant soft to the touch. Smooth. Like velvet.” Vérité outlined his lips and they twitched under her touch. She raised her brows as his belly tightened and his cock moved inside her. “I believe you favor this.” Vérité used her tongue to follow the path her finger had taken to trace his lips. He flicked his tongue out to her but she lifted her head. “Nay. I’m tasting you. Lie back and enjoy.” “Enjoy? This is torment.” “But a pleasing torment.” This time she teased his mouth with her teeth, gently capturing his lower lip and tugging. She afforded his upper lip the same teasing. Eaduin groaned into her mouth, his hands cupping her buttocks in his hands. He kneaded her flesh, eliciting gasps from her. Vérité lifted her head. “You are a gifted student, my lady.” “Your squire of the bed chamber?” “Yea,” he chuckled. “Perhaps I should give you my belt to wear.” “I’ve already worn it once. Granted it was around my wrists instead of my waist…” “Brazen lass.” “Complaints?” “Nay. I prefer you brazen.” “I’m grateful you encourage my audaciousness. Few other husbands would be so indulgent.” “Then they’re fools. I don’t need a meek wife in order to feel more confident.” “I know.” She covered his mouth and delved inside. Their tongues teased, dueled and twined until Vérité was lost and breathless in their kiss. She lifted her head, half expecting Eaduin to roll her to her back. But he didn’t. “You look confused, wife.” “You haven’t taken control.” He smiled, brushing a lock of hair off her brow. “I don’t need to. I want you to take the lead.”

213

Francesca Hawley

“Take you into my mouth again?” “Nay. Bring your knees forward and sit up on me.” Uncertain of her movements she followed his directions, almost tipping as she assumed the unfamiliar position, but Eaduin caught her. “I’ll never let you fall, sweetling. Set your hands on my belly or my chest to aid your balance.” She leaned forward slightly and her hips rose as she adjusted. Vérité gasped, suddenly understanding. Tentatively she lifted off him then settled again. He nodded, reaching up to stroke her breasts. “That’s right. Fuck me. Take me as deep or shallow as you want. Fast or slow. Use my cock for your pleasure.” “You wish me to use you?” Vérité bit her lip as she looked into his eyes. “Yea. You can do this. Play. Savor. Learn how to pleasure yourself using my body.” “But… What of your enjoyment?” “No matter what you do, I’ll enjoy myself. You’re a sight to behold and the feel of you riding me is bliss.” His permission to use him to arouse herself sent excitement coursing through her and Eaduin groaned when her cunt rippled around his heavy shaft. He reached up to cup her full breasts, stroking and kneading to increase her delight. Vérité rose off him, gasping as she felt the slide of his cock. Never had she been more conscious of their bodies slipping against each other. She tightened as she lowered onto him, gasping when his fingers clenched involuntarily around her breasts. He froze. “Did I hurt you?” “Nay. Touch me, Eaduin. I love your touch.” She arched into his palms, shivering when her hips shifted. “Rise and fall, sweetling. It’s similar to riding a horse.” She laughed looking between her legs at where they connected. “How true. It is rather like riding a horse. Size wise at least.” “Is it?” He chuckled at her sally, reaching between her legs to flick his fingers against her bud in retaliation. He smiled when she jerked her hips. “Oh God in Heaven, Eaduin.” “Try out the movement. See how it feels.” Vérité bit her lip and set her hands on Eaduin’s chest for balance. Awkwardly, she lifted then lowered. Her belly tightened as sensations radiated outward from her cunt. Slowly she leaned forward to make the movements easier. Eaduin grasped her hips gently, teaching her. Guiding her. She followed his instruction, her breath short as she stared at the way his straining cock looked as it was revealed and engulfed by her motion. With each rise, his cock appeared wetter, glistening in the firelight of the room.

214

Seeking Truth

“Yea, sweetling. It’s you who makes my cock shine,” he growled. “You’re so wet.” He kept one hand on her hip to direct her, but with the other he rubbed her, circling her sensitive flesh with his finger then pinching and flicking at the trembling nub. She quivered, fighting to maintain a steady rhythm in spite of his teasing. Each touch distracted, and watching his cock penetrate intoxicated her. She felt giddy, as if she’d drunk too much wine. Vérité arched, rising and sinking like waves crashing against the shore. She whimpered but forced herself to move. Driving them both toward release. She could feel it just out of reach, beckoning to her as a ghost. Filmy and indistinct yet almost palpable. Vérité met Eaduin’s dark eyes, shuddering at the passionate flames that burned within. His emotion was on the surface and she knew at that moment she was all he wanted. All he needed. “Yea, sweetling. Faster now. Roll your hips as you rise and descend.” Vérité moaned, following his directions and clenching tight around him. Even when he slid out, her inner muscles grasped him, attempting to prevent his escape. Up and down. Hard. Fast. The slap of their bodies excited her. The moist sucking sounds enticed her. She wound her fingers into the hair on his chest and her hands curled into fists where they pressed against him for leverage. Her legs were tiring but she didn’t care. She wouldn’t stop until her body shattered, and his with it. Eaduin’s rasping breaths mingled with her whimpering sighs to add to the music of their lovemaking. Vérité licked her lips as her gaze caressed his slick, flushed skin. Pink flowed from his cheeks to his neck and shoulders on down to his belly. His gut was tight as a board as he thrust upward into her open cunt. He growled, grabbing her hips and stabbing upward. Their gazes locked as they rushed toward release together. She leaned forward to kiss his lips fleetingly, gasping when his cock delved into her depths at a new angle. Had he ever filled her so completely? She stretched to take him, opening entirely to accept the full strength of his driving shaft. Each time they made love, Eaduin taught her something new. Took her in some new way. “Yea. Deeper, husband. Take me harder!” Hearing her call him husband inflamed him and he redoubled his efforts. Pounding into her, twisting as he moved. Vérité moaned wordlessly, yielding to his wildness. Triumphing in it. He slipped a hand between them. Vérité anticipated his touch. Waited for it. Tensing for she knew it would be her undoing. Yet he didn’t touch her. “Eaduin, please.” When their bodies met she leaned forward in an attempt to press her bud to his hand. He stroked her inner thighs, rubbing the dampness slicking her skin but he didn’t finish her. He chuckled as he held his hand just out of range of her tingling flesh. She shook with need, so close to release she could almost taste it, yet he withheld it from her. 215

Francesca Hawley

“If you want release, you know what to do, sweetling. So do it.” She stared down at him as they slapped together. Biting her lip, she set her hand between her legs and played with her trembling bud. It was enough. She arched. Quaking began at her core and spread outward. Her cunt throbbed, tightening around his cock as the throes of release shook her. “Yea, lass. More. Give me all your hunger. Show me everything.” She moaned and rubbed her nub hard as Eaduin pierced her hot, slick core with his shuddering cock. His belly rippled as his climax took him. He bellowed. Catching her hard around the waist, he slammed into her as his seed shot into her clasping cunt. It rebounded and dripped out of her onto him, easing the way for him to continue lunging into the depths of her. Waves of delight flickered over her skin. Each quiver, each shudder brought more joy. An almost exquisite pain. She collapsed against him, enjoying the slow ebbing of her peak. She clutched him and buried her face in the curve of his neck. He cuddled her close and kissed her brow, sighing as he gently caressed her. Replete with release. She would never tire of sharing her body with Eaduin and she prayed he would never become bored with her. Pray God their bliss would never end.

216

Seeking Truth

Chapter Thirty Eaduin squinted against the morning light filtering into the room. What woke him? Pounding. Someone pounded on the door. Shit. He was warm and sated. Who dared to wake him? He smiled tenderly down at Vérité who still slept beside him. He leaned down to press a soft kiss to her parted lips. She sighed, smiling in her sleep. Brushing a strand of curly red hair off her forehead, Eaduin realized he should have told her he loved her last night. He just wasn’t sure she’d believe him. He didn’t believe him. Even worse, he wasn’t sure she felt the same. Could she see his love in the glow of his spirit? Her uncertainty suggested she couldn’t. It would be such a risk to tell her the truth. If she asked him, he wouldn’t lie, but to volunteer such information? He might as well put a knife in her hand and ask her to stab him in the heart. He’d tell her someday. But not today. The pounding sounded again and he groaned. “Shit.” “Eaduin…” She turned to him, caressing his cheek as her sleepy eyes tried to focus. “Forgive me, lady.” “Who’s knocking and why? Does Judith need me?” He tensed. Judith. Had it only been a day? Vérité kissed him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to remind you. I don’t want to give you pain.” “Pain will be a part of me forever, but I truly believe she’s happier now.” He sat abruptly when he heard the chamber door open. Eaduin scowled. Who dared invade his room? Godwin stuck his head around the door, apology written all over him. “Praise God you’re awake. I was afraid I’d have to wake you.” “What the devil are you doing, Brother? Get out.” “Nay. I can’t. We have a problem.” “A problem?” Vérité tugged the bed furs around her and sat up. Eaduin growled when Godwin’s eyes goggled upon catching sight of her creamy shoulders. He pulled her close, covering her further. “Yea, what problem?” Eaduin asked as Godwin looked at Vérité then back at him, biting his lip. “She’s my wife now, Godwin. You can speak in front of her.” “A force of men has been sighted.” “A force? How large a force?” Vérité asked, her voice rising as she burrowed into his shoulder.

217

Francesca Hawley

Godwin hesitated, meeting Eaduin’s gaze. He sighed, reluctantly accepting Eaduin’s lady would be privy to their conversation. “It appears to be a siege army. Slow-moving but massive.” Eaduin tensed, his mind flitting through their stores and manpower. “We have enough food to last for a lengthy siege, but God help us if it lasts too long. Can you see any standards?” “Not as yet. We sent Wystan in to infiltrate the edges.” “We?” “You weren’t awake. Theo and Alec were eating when the lad who’d seen the army ran into the room screaming at the top of his lungs.” Eaduin rubbed his fingers over his eyes. Damn. Caught flat-footed. But then he hadn’t expected trouble. “Your mother didn’t predict this to me.” “Nor me, Brother.” Eaduin glanced down at Vérité but she shook her head. He kissed her then climbed out of the bed. “Toss me some clothes, Godwin.” Vérité began to follow but he waved her back. “Nay, wife. Godwin has seen me naked many times, but we won’t introduce him to your charms any time soon.” Eaduin smiled when she blushed then caught his brother’s speculative gaze on the curve of Vérité’s breasts above the furs. He never should have shared women with Godwin in the past. Godwin raised his eyebrows, his guileless blue eyes taunting. Damn, thinking about Vérité sandwiched between the two of them brought his cock to half-mast. While he might imagine it, he didn’t feel inclined to share his lady so he shook his head slightly at Godwin then set to dressing. “What if this is King Stephen?” Vérité asked. Eaduin pulled on his tunic then stepped into his boots. He paused. “The king? Do you think it might be?” “He travels almost nonstop, doesn’t he? Falc’ always said so. They may have defeated Empress Maud for now, but she still plots against the king and so do her barons.” “True. And then if the king had plans for you he might come here to express his displeasure.” She sat up and leaned forward. “Eaduin, regal displeasure is usually fatal.” “It can be, but it doesn’t have to be. Not if I handle this right. Your brother may be crucial in this, Vérité. Are you willing to help?” “I won’t plot against him, but I’m more than willing to convince him I’m content to be your wife.” “Just content?” She smiled. “Falc’ will accept content. He doubts the existence of lasting happiness.”

218

Seeking Truth

Eaduin strode to the door, Godwin in his wake. “Dress and join us, sweetling. I’ll make sure they have breakfast for you.” “But if it is the king, what should we do?” “Make him welcome.” Vérité bit her lip as the door closed behind her husband. Eaduin’s humor was illadvised but she knew she couldn’t force him to accept the gravity of the situation. She climbed out of bed to wash and dress, all the while praying this was the king and he didn’t intend to make her a widow almost before she was a wife.

***** The silence in the great hall was deafening. The room was full of tense people but not a sound could she hear as she reached the top of the stairs that led down into the hall. Eaduin sat in a chair by the fire. She frowned. Why was he sitting in the steward’s chair? She glanced at the steward, who looked away sheepishly. Ah, it was Eaduin’s chair. Eaduin looked up and she felt as if they were the only people in the room. Even in the midst of danger, she felt special when their eyes met. She joined him, Godwin, Sir Theo and Lord Alec beside the fire. Theo frowned at her. “We are discussing war, my lady.” “So I understand. Don’t let me interrupt you.” “This is not for ladies’ ears.” “Perhaps not, but if this is a siege I must know. I’m the healer within these demesnes and it will be my responsibility to treat any hurts so pray continue your discussion, Sir Theo.” One of the servants brought her some food and weak ale. Vérité looked for a spot to sit, but there were no free chairs. Eaduin caught her arm, tugging her onto his lap. “Eat, wife, and listen, then.” “Yea, my lord.” Vérité chewed on a meat roll, deep in thought as the men discussed the supplies available to sustain a prolonged siege. This was no siege force. Falc’ had made it his mission to protect her and she sensed he’d persuaded the king to visit so he could be assured of her continued health and happiness. Still, she knew the men wouldn’t believe her so she listened and ate. Some people in the hall smirked as they noted her perched on Eaduin’s lap. She must appear as his leman rather than his wife, but she felt no inclination to move for his lap was warm and comfortable. When Wystan entered the room half a candlemark later, everyone tensed. He crossed immediately to Eaduin and bowed. “My lord.” “What have you discovered?”

219

Francesca Hawley

“It’s King Stephen. In fact it looks to be the entire court. I saw a small sea of standards in the king’s wake.” Eaduin leaned back with a sigh. “That’s good news, isn’t it?” Vérité asked. “Possibly. Continue, Wystan.” “They come from the south and stayed last night at the abbey.” “But Mother Anne is here. Did she leave the abbey before the king arrived?” Vérité asked. “I believe so, my lady.” He shifted uncomfortably, looking back and forth between her and Eaduin. “What’s wrong? Surely this is good for us?” “Unless the king is angry with me.” He worried his lower lip with his teeth, deep in thought. He eased her off his lap and stood. “Godwin, ready my horse. I’ll ride out to meet him.” “Alone? God’s Blood, Eaduin, don’t be a damn fool!” Lord Alec growled. “I’m not going to endanger my people. If the king wants my head, I’ll make it available for him. Should anything happen to me, Godwin is my heir. I want it understood and I expect your vow on this. You too Theo.” “You have it,” Theo agreed. “But I agree with Alec. This is foolishness. Don’t ride out alone.” “He won’t.” Vérité could have heard a pin drop after her assurance. “What do you mean, lady wife?” Eaduin turned slowly as if barely holding his temper. “I mean I’m going with you.” Vérité lifted her chin, determined not to let him dictate to her. “Nay. You will stay here. Safe.” “Eaduin…” “Vérité, this is not up for discussion.” “I quite agree. I can ride the lovely beast I rode here from the abbey. She’s a very gentle mare yet showy enough to impress the king.” “Vérité…” “Wystan, were there women among the riders?” Wystan colored painfully. “Yea, my lady.” “Camp followers most like,” Eaduin argued. “Were they ladies or common women?” She glared at Eaduin. “Ladies, mostly.” “Was the queen with them?” Wystan bit his lip, glancing uncertainly at Eaduin. “Yea, my lady.”

220

Seeking Truth

Vérité raised her brows. “There. King Stephen won’t kill us both in front of Queen Matilda. He adores her and won’t subject her to bloodshed. We’ll ride out together. A united front to welcome them to our home.” “I hate to say it, but she makes an excellent point,” Alec agreed, fighting a grin. “Damn it, Alec.” “Eaduin…” Vérité admonished. “Forgive me for cursing but this is madness.” “I’m going with you.” He grabbed her arm and marched her down the nearby hall to the steward’s office. Vérité ran to keep up. He shoved her into the room then slammed the door loudly behind him. “How dare you challenge me, woman? I’m the lord here.” Vérité took a deep breath then turned around to face her very angry husband. “I’m not challenging you. I’m offering my support.” “By giving the impression I can’t control my own wife?” She frowned, cocking her head. “Is that what you think?” “That’s what I know. Never do it again.” Vérité bit her lip. “I won’t. In public. But please listen to me, Eaduin. I need to be there.” “Now who’s being foolish?” “If this concerns me, I have every right to be present.” “Right?” His quiet voice made her wince and she quailed slightly as he stalked across the room toward her. “My lady, the only rights you have are those which I grant you. Remember it always.” Vérité took a deep breath as he loomed over her. This wasn’t going the way she hoped. He acted like a man instead of a calm, intelligent human being. She tried to read his expression then realized she had something much better at her disposal. She studied the energy around him and saw…fear. “What truly disturbs you about me accompanying you?” “Nothing.” She didn’t need to see the flare around him to know he was lying. “Eaduin, I know you’re lying so please don’t insult my intelligence.” “I hate this.” He started to pace. “Even without my sight, I’d know you were lying. Just speak truth.” He groaned, running his hand through his hair. “Very well. I won’t risk you.” She approached him, smoothing his tunic. “Nor will I risk you.” “I’m a warrior. It’s my job to take risks. Do you think I’m unable to protect my people?”

221

Francesca Hawley

“No, Eaduin. You’re more than capable for you’ve shown your skills often.” “Then—” She rushed to interrupt him before he tried to forbid her to accompany him again. “I respect your commitment. Your willingness to sacrifice for us all, but you don’t have to sacrifice today. It isn’t necessary.” “Yes, it is. If I ride out alone and the king sentences me, then only I will die. I can live with this decision.” “Well, I can’t. Please, Eaduin. Let us face them together. United. I beg you. Let me stand at your side.” She could see him wavering before her large, moist eyes. His jaw tightened. “Nay. I won’t endanger you.” Eaduin stalked toward the door but Vérité rushed after him, catching his arm. “Please! Something bad will happen if I’m not with you when you face the king. I don’t want to be a widow today.” “How do you know this?” When she bit her lip, he shook his head. “Eaduin, I’m right. I know it.” “How do you know?” “I told you the morning after Godwin watched over Judith. Sometimes I can sense the immediate future. It doesn’t happen often, but if something is important to me I can anticipate what might happen. Too often I’ve ignored these feelings to my great cost. Losing you is a price I’m unwilling to pay.” He sighed. “Are you sure about this?” “No. No more than Judith was about her sight.” “Or Isolda.” He groaned, running his hands over his face. “Isolda? Is that why she always knew just when we…” Vérité blushed. Eaduin frowned at her. “You must never tell another.” “Surely the family knows.” “My brothers and sisters do, yea. But no one else. I’m not even sure her husband knows, though I think he may. She would face the same danger you fear.” Vérité nodded. “You have my word, Eaduin. I’ll not betray her…or you.” “If I go alone you fear I’ll be killed?” “Yea. The feeling tears at my innards as fiercely as a knife blade.” “But if you go with me. What then?” “I think all will be well. At least today. This visit is dangerous for us both.” He groaned. “You’ve ruined me, woman. Very well. We’ll go together, but God help us both if you’re wrong.” “I’m not. I know it.” She smiled, throwing herself into his arms to press kisses all over his face. He caught her close, laughing.

222

Seeking Truth

“Silly baggage,” he chuckled, slapping her bottom.

223

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Thirty-One Eaduin glanced over at his seemingly placid wife as they rode through the streets of Kempe Heath. His villeins lined the streets in fearful silence, dread in their faces. He’d die willingly rather than allow hurt to come to these people. “It will be well, Eaduin,” Vérité murmured. “I pray so.” “My lord, is it true? Will there be war?” the chandler asked. Eaduin stilled his restive horse. “Nay. King Stephen pays us a visit. No more. I’ll put the king’s court in the far pastures around the castle so be sure to gather the herds onto this side.” “May we use the crofter’s hut, my lord?” asked Master Marcus, the weaver. “Yea. For the duration of the king’s visit, all the herdsmen may use the hut.” Vérité glanced at him. Sensing her wish to speak, he nodded permission. “Make sure you offer your best goods for sale. This is a traveling court so they will need many things. Look upon this as an opportunity.” Eaduin smiled, proud she thought of his people’s welfare. “This is a good time to cull the herds as well. We’ll need meat to feed the court. When we return, be sure to cheer the king well. Show him your loyalty.” Heads nodded and people whispered, but he knew they’d make the king welcome. A warm welcome lessened their danger. Vérité gasped when they rode through the main gates, the king’s army plainly visible on the horizon. A formidable force. Vérité edged her horse closer, so he reached over to cover her hands with his. “All will be well, Vérité.” “I know, but there are so many of them.” Eaduin gestured to the center front of the army. “The king’s standard flies there.” Vérité squinted. “I don’t see Falc’.” “But I do see the queen, sweetling.” She smiled. She leaned toward him and he met her halfway with a kiss. Whatever came, they were together and only that mattered. He blinked away unexpected tears. Never in his life had he felt such support from any but Judith, his squire brothers and Godwin. For his wife to engender this emotion—it humbled him. She patted his hand then they rode forward to face the army. They neither galloped nor dawdled. A brisk canter ate the ground beneath them, taking them ever closer to possible death, yet he relaxed because she rode at his side. He

224

Seeking Truth

grinned at Vérité, pleased to see her laughing as the wind blew curls over her forehead. Her veil streamed behind her like a sail. Before they’d left the castle, she’d demanded they both dress the part, right down to matching colors. Eaduin wore a favorite purple tunic, black trews and boots while Vérité donned a stunning deep purple gown. Her instincts had been right. They seemed not to have a care in the world, and in dealing with the vagaries of court, perception was all. Fearful trembling could kill them. They slowed as they neared the outriders. Eaduin directed their mounts toward the king. “We’ll stop here to let him approach.” She nodded, easing the mare to a stop. Eaduin dismounted then lifted her down. They led their horses as they walked toward the royals. The king and queen pulled up their horses and Eaduin dropped to one knee, bowing his head while Vérité dipped in a deep curtsey. As King Stephen dismounted and approached, Eaduin gazed at his king. “Baron Kempe, who is this?” “My liege, this is my lady wife, Vérité.” “Lady Vérité de Sauigni?” “Yea, Your Grace.” The king nodded and held out his hand to Vérité. She took it and he assisted her to rise. Eaduin remained on his knee, assuming nothing. “My lady, I have someone here who will be relieved to see you hale and hearty.” He turned. “Lord Falc’, your sister seems none the worse for her unexpected marriage.” Eaduin took a deep breath when Falc’ approached. This was it. He lived or died in this moment. Falc’ took his sister’s hands, bringing them to his lips to kiss. Falc’ studied Eaduin for a time. Eaduin met his stare, facing him down even though he was still kneeling. Weakness would be fatal at this first meeting. Eaduin expected a man with hair as red as his wife’s, but it wasn’t…exactly. His hair was a deep black with a curious red hue. Red black. His eyes, like Vérité’s, were green. But where hers were deep as a forest glen, his were an olive green similar to a cat’s. Eaduin was certain those light eyes unnerved men better than him, but he hid his unnease. Falc’ turned to Vérité. “Are you well, Sister?” She smiled. “Yea, Falc’. I’ve not been so well in years. Truly.” “You’re content, then?” “I am.” Her soft words warmed Eaduin’s soul and he knew she didn’t lie. She couldn’t. No doubt her brother knew it too. “Then I’m content.” With those words, a potential blaze was averted. Eaduin would not die today, at least not because of Lord Falc’ de Sauigni. Vérité had been right. How he knew it, he didn’t know or care. But he did. If he’d ridden out alone, Lord Falc’ would have seen him return to the castle in chains at best, or a corpse at worst. He met Vérité’s eyes, winking at her. Her cheeks bloomed with color.

225

Francesca Hawley

King Stephen smiled broadly. “Rise, my lord. We return to London and need to stop to rest.” Eaduin rose. “It will be our pleasure to host you, Your Grace.” “Excellent.” “You and Her Grace will have the lord’s chambers in the castle. The rest of our sleeping quarters are limited, but the north pastures will be available for the court to set up. Is this acceptable?” “Yea. My personal guard will be with me.” “Naturally, Your Grace. The castle is open to all, only sleeping arrangements are limited.” Eaduin scanned the front rank of riders, nearly hissing in dismay when he saw Lord Petrus de Sauigni. Why the devil was the bastard riding with the king? This development bode ill. “Join Us for the ride to your demesnes. We have much to discuss, Lord Eaduin. Lord Falc’ can then enjoy conversation with his sister.” “As you wish, Your Grace. May I assist my lady to mount.” Vérité sighed with relief as the king nodded. Whether her inkling was right or wrong mattered not. Eaduin lived. He took her hand to lead her to her mare. “Did you see him?” she murmured as he drew close. “Your father? Yea. Why would he ride with the king?” “My stepmother and half siblings are here too. They are farther back in the ranks.” “It augurs danger.” “I concur.” Eaduin assisted her to mount then mounted his horse. The king motioned Eaduin to his side and Vérité joined them. She breathed easier when Falc’ settled his restive mount at her other side. Vérité feared her father might force his way forward, but he hesitated. His caution should please her, but his circumspection unsettled her instead. His twitching nose hinted at a plot. Their ride to the keep passed cordially. Eaduin and the king chatted about the weather and crops. Vérité watched her brother from the corner of her eye. Falc’ spoke little but silence was typical for he listened more than he spoke. Even so, she sensed her brother sought conversation with her, but far from prying ears…such as their father’s. She stole a look at her father, who scowled at Eaduin’s back. His fierce glare suggested her husband needed armor against the visual daggers thrown. “How long has our family been reunited, Brother?” Falc’ glanced at their father, his wife and their half-siblings with a snort. “They joined us less than a sennight ago. Our sister has half the courtiers in love with her.” “In love, mayhap. But will they marry her?” “I doubt it. Not if they have sense. Father should marry her off to a jaded old man who won’t be deluded by her fair face and fine form,” Falc’ murmured, noting their

226

Seeking Truth

lovely but vain sister flirting with any male nearby. She might ride beside her mother in pretense of propriety, but Lady Gunnora ignored her daughter’s antics. In her eyes, pretty Tifaine could do no wrong. But then Gunnora viewed all her children in that light. Raulf and Serlo were handsome, honorable young men—which couldn’t be further from the truth. It was only Vérité and Falc’—the children of Petrus’ first wife—who merited her distrust and contempt. When they reached the village of Kempe Heath, the populace cheered the king and queen loud and long. Vérité smiled at Eaduin and he grinned back. “You and Lord Eaduin seem in harmony,” Falc’ murmured. “We are. He’s a good man.” Falc’ nodded as he turned hooded eyes onto Eaduin. Vérité bit her lip. Her brother remained unconvinced about her marriage. Most people couldn’t read him, but she knew him well. Upon reaching the castle, Eaduin helped her dismount before Falc’ could then he set her on her feet, kissing her brow. “I think we’ll be all right, lady wife.” She stroked his cheek, gazing into his dark eyes until she realized both her father and Falc’ watched. Vérité stepped back, her face hot with a blush. Eaduin took her arm. “Come let us make the king and queen welcome in our home.” A few hours later Vérité escaped the ceremony and regal tension by slipping away to the garden and her stillroom. As she sorted herbs and set the freshly picked items to dry, Vérité sighed. In the castle, her father haunted her like a grim specter. She knew he intended to isolate her to lecture just as surely as she knew her brother planned to do the same. She didn’t want to listen…to either of them. Falc’ wanted to think ill of Eaduin and her father had some scheme in mind. She wanted no part of either, yet when she heard the door creak behind her, she half expected it. It was only a matter of determining which man reached her first. “You appear to have landed on your feet, Daughter. Quite like a cat.” Vérité closed her eyes, clenching her fingers around the herbs she held. She’d hoped it was Falc’. She turned to face Petrus. “You approved the match, Father.” “I did. If I hadn’t you would still be in your holy prison. You’d best remember it.” “And if I don’t?” “You’ll find yourself returned to it.” “I’m married now, Father, and belong to my husband. Not you.” “You are my daughter and you owe me your loyalty.” “Why? You haven’t earned it.” “I’ll destroy you if you don’t give to me willingly.” Vérité hid the shaft of fear that tore through her chest. “How?” 227

Francesca Hawley

“Witch…” he hissed. “I am no witch.” He looked so normal, yet he was as wicked as Osweald Kempe. He knew her fear. Had always known it and preyed upon it all these years. He smiled coldly. “I don’t care whether you are or not. But I’ll destroy you if I have to. Now tell me about Kempe?” “Tell you what?” “Surely you know a secret by now. No man who rides between a woman’s legs doesn’t give away a secret or two while he’s there. Especially not if he enjoys the ride, and Eaduin Kempe looks only too satisfied when his eyes rest on you, Daughter. But then your eyes look quite pleased with him as well.” He barked a laugh. “Who knew I’d raised a whore?” Vérité frowned. “I’m no whore.” “I’ve heard about his unnatural lusts. I thought you might abhor them, but it seems I was wrong. You are your mother’s daughter.” “My mother…” He waved her argument away. “I want his secrets. Family. Personal. I don’t care. But I expect you to give me proof to charge him before the king or I’ll denounce you instead.” “You’re the traitor, but you’d bargain your own child to preserve your safety. What manner of man are you?” “Silence!” He took a step toward her, his face twitching with rage as he raised his hand to strike. “I wouldn’t, Father. Eaduin might take offense.” He barked a laugh but lowered his hand. “Your husband isn’t the man his father was.” “You mean he has honor? Decency? Loyalty to the Crown?” In spite of her fear, she faced Petrus down. “The king knows of your disloyalty, doesn’t he?” “Enough, Daughter. What can you tell me about Kempe?” “Nothing.” “Do you love life so little?” “No, I love him so much.” Vérité blinked as she admitted her feelings aloud for the first time. It gave her strength. “Then you’re a fool. He doesn’t love you now, and he never will.” “It doesn’t matter, Father. I’ll never betray my husband.” “I’ll give you one day to come to your senses. If you haven’t betrayed him by then, I’ll accuse you.” “I will tell you nothing, for there is nothing to tell.” “Remember you could have saved yourself when you face the trial by ordeal.”

228

Seeking Truth

After he stalked from the room, she sank onto a chair. Tears streaked her face and her hands shook. What could she do? Her father would condemn her. If he did, her only hope was Eaduin’s vow. When her father accused her as a witch, Eaduin must kill her. Never would she face the tortures she’d seen inflicted on those wretches who visited the abbey.

***** Eaduin leaned against the back wall of the smithy, caught between joy and an overwhelming need to kill Petrus immediately for threatening to strike Vérité. Acting at once would reveal his knowledge before he could counter Petrus, but he knew time was running out. He would wait…for now… Very soon though, he’d make the bastard pay for menacing his own child and he’d take great pleasure in the damage he inflicted. Eaduin smiled grimly. He slipped out the side door by which he’d entered, acknowledging he had a bit of his father in him after all. No one would be allowed to hurt someone who belonged to him. To do so merited death. Petrus would die. It was just a matter of when. Eaduin turned his mind to his lady wife. He should feel guilty Vérité didn’t know about this secondary entry point to her stillroom. Instead he was glad. Now he knew two very important things. He knew what Petrus planned and he knew his wife loved him. He felt a sense of hope soar through him. With her love, anything was possible. But only if he could prevent Petrus from accusing her of witchcraft and he was running out of time.

229

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Thirty-Two Vérité leaned over the garden well, pressing a cold, wet cloth to her face. She fought the sobs that had taken her as she considered her father’s threats. Her blotched face and swollen eyes would reveal her current state should anyone see her and she didn’t want others to know her fears. If only she were one of those women who cried beautifully…but she wasn’t. Calm. She must remain calm. More tears wouldn’t help and she didn’t want to look even worse. Vérité repeatedly washed, allowing the cool water to ease her. Touching her face, she could feel it was less swollen, she hoped it was also less mottled. What should she do? Her father was a monster, but should she tell Eaduin what he planned? “Yes, you should, Vérité.” She lifted her head, surprised to find Eirene beside her. Vérité hadn’t even heard her sister-in-law join her in the garden. “He’ll attack my father and be killed.” Eirene smiled slightly. “My brother can be a very gentle man, and this is the man you know. However, he’s still our father’s son. If he knows Petrus threatened you, he’ll kill your father for it.” “That’s what I’m afraid of. I don’t want to lose him.” “You won’t. Trust his abilities, Vérité. My brother is a skilled warrior. Here, let me wet the cloth for you.” Eirene took the fabric and dampened it in the bucket of water that rested on the side of the well. “Vérité, I would speak privately with you,” Falc’ barked. Vérité whipped around to face her brother and his eyes unfocused so he easily read the fear she emitted. “Who did this to you? Was it that bastard?” “Yea.” “God’s Blood. I knew it. I’ve heard about his perversions. How he gains pleasure from hitting women…” “Of whom do you speak?” “Your husband. Good God, woman. How could you tell me you were content when you’ve been sobbing over him?” He turned on his heel, his hand going to the hilt of his sword. “Falc’ de Sauigni! Halt this instant!” Vérité shouted, hands on hips. “Have your long years at court rotted your brain?” He whipped around, stalking back to her. Falc’ grasped her chin and tilted it so he could gaze into her reddened eyes. “I can see your fear. Explain it, if you can.”

230

Seeking Truth

“The bastard who threatened me was our father, not my husband. How dare you believe I would lie to you? As if I could.” Uncertainty flickered across his face. “Father threatened you? Why?” “I refused to betray my husband. Father wants everyone, the king included, to think I fear Eaduin. I have no doubt he knew just how you’d react, going off with your quick temper. I thought your years at the king’s side would have taught you prudence.” “About most things. But no one attacks my sister. Not without retribution from me.” “Oh Falc’, don’t be a fool.” Vérité laughed. “Sister Berthe should have suffered greatly at your hand all these years but she hasn’t.” “That crow has attacked you?” “Definitely and often, usually physically. But Eaduin has not.” “He’s never hit you?” “Nay.” Vérité couldn’t hide the flush that rose in her face. “You lie. He beats you and you fear him. I knew it.” “You know nothing. Eaduin has never beaten me as you mean it. He and I…” She glanced uncertainly at Eirene, who blushed a fiery red from Vérité’s thoughts. “I already know, Vérité,” she murmured as her wide blue eyes studied Falc’ from head to toe. “Know what? Who is this woman?” Falc’s olive eyes flicked over Eirene’s curves, unable to suppress his interest. “This is Lady Eirene Kempe. Eaduin’s youngest sister.” In spite of the fear she felt, she was pleased to see her brother show an interest in a lady, especially Eirene. Falc’ bowed, taking Eirene’s hand. “My lady. It is a pleasure to meet you.” “Thank you, my lord. I’m pleased to meet you as well.” Vérité watched the flames of desire erupt around Falc’ and Eirene in the flares of their auras. Their mutual attraction blazed and beckoned with the same glow as a bonfire atop a tor. Falc’ dragged his gaze away from Eirene, backing away from her sphere of influence. He desired her, but Vérité could see by his expression, he would do nothing to pursue her. His honor was bound in his service to King Stephen and he would never leave his liege unless dismissed. Eirene’s eyes dropped as she read Vérité’s thoughts. “You seek to divert me. Eaduin has hit you, yet you say he doesn’t beat you. Explain,” Falc’ ordered as he refocused his attention on Vérité. “I’m not your squire, nor one of your vassals. I have no need to explain myself.” “If you don’t, then…” Vérité sighed, feeling her face warm with embarrassment. “He spanked me. There. Are you satisfied?” “Did you misbehave?” 231

Francesca Hawley

She blushed. “Nay, Brother. I did not.” Falc’ considered her explanation and understanding lit his eyes. He raised his brows at her. “I see.” Vérité almost laughed as a blush stole into her brother’s face. “As I said, this is no business of yours.” “Nay. Evidently not. Forgive me, but I have heard such damning things about Kempe.” He shook his head, running his fingers through his hair as he paced. “Well, consider what rubbish has been bandied about court regarding me. Or you. Believe none of what you hear and only a portion of what you see.” Falc’ stilled and pursed his lips, deep in thought. “Plans within plans. What the devil is the old bastard up to?” “Whatever it is, we must protect Vérité from it,” Eaduin said, Falc’ turned to face his brother-in-law. “Eaduin…” Vérité met Eaduin’s dark eyes, which darkened still further when he read the fear on her face and saw the tears in her eyes. He wiped her moist eyes gently with his fingertip. “Why have you been crying? What has your father done?” “He’s threatened to accuse me as a witch.” “I’ll make him pay for his temerity. This I promise you.” He pressed a gentle kiss on her lips. Vérité shook her head, leaning away from him to gaze into his eyes. “I beg you, husband, don’t let yourself be led into his trap. He seeks to destroy you.” He nodded. “So did my father. If Osweald didn’t succeed, your father stands no chance to triumph over me and mine. And you are mine, Vérité. Mine to cherish. Mine to protect.” “Yet you hit her,” Falc’ accused. “A strange sort of cherishing and protecting if you ask me.” The two men locked gazes, taking each other’s measure. “There is a grave difference between love spanks and a beating, de Sauigni. I don’t beat women. I never have. I never will.” Vérité tensed as her brother unfocused his eyes so he could read Eaduin. She objected to her brother testing Eaduin with his special abilities. When Falc’s eyes refocused, he started to smile. “Yea. I’ve seen what I need to see. He’ll do.” He paused then nodded as he made up his mind to trust Eaduin. “The king knows of Father’s dishonor, and Father knows he’ll be denounced. To leave the king’s retinue before then is an admission of his disloyalty, so his growing fear makes him dangerous.” Eaduin nodded. “I thought as much.” He brushed her hair off her brow. “Why did he threaten you, my lady?”

232

Seeking Truth

“He wanted me to tell him secrets. About you. The family. Anything he could use to divert attention from his own misdeeds.” “What did you tell him?” “Nothing. He said he would accuse me as a witch if I didn’t change my mind.” “I won’t allow it.” “How can you prevent it?” “I have choices, Vérité. Believe in me.” “Choices,” she murmured, remembering Judith’s admonishment. “I shall always believe in you, husband,” she murmured, smiling when he ducked his head. She kissed his cheek, gently cupping his face as he smiled down at her. “Why did you seek us, Brother?” Eirene asked. Eaduin blinked and Vérité watched him recall his purpose in finding them. “Bronwen said the feast is ready. We wait for the king and queen but we must be present when they join us.” “Then let us go to the hall.” Vérité took Eaduin’s arm, glancing back over her shoulder at her brother and sister-in-law. “Falc’, please escort Lady Eirene.” Eirene frowned at her machinations, but Falc’ merely smiled, taking Eirene’s arm to accompany her to the feast. Just before they reached the great hall, Eirene slipped away from Falc’. He frowned after her but let her go. Inside the great hall, Vérité gasped. The room was full to capacity with the nobility of King Stephen’s court. Lords and ladies dressed in fine garments clustered in groups, laughing and flirting with one another. Few noticed their entrance and fewer still cared, though Vérité felt one or two glances note her reddened eyes and blotchy face. “Eaduin, they think I’ve been crying,” she whispered. “You have been.” “But they lay the blame at your door. It’s wrong. I can say I was in the kitchen helping with the onions.” “My lady wife chopping onions like a kitchen wench? I think not.” “Then I could say…” “Your ability to lie is highly impaired, Vérité.” She ducked her head. “True. I suppose I could tell the truth, if asked.” “And have them wonder why your father still lives after he threatened my wife? Again, no.” “They might be impressed with your forbearance.” “God’s Blood,” he growled. “I’m not impressed with my forbearance.” “Well, I am.” She patted his arm and he chuckled. He looked around the room, nodding at friends and frowning at enemies. When Eaduin’s gaze settled on Petrus, it grew cold and deadly. For the first time since they’d met, she saw his father’s influence in him and she shivered. 233

Francesca Hawley

Lord Petrus de Sauigni was a walking dead man but he didn’t yet know it. When Petrus felt Eaduin’s stare, he met it then paled, understanding at last who he schemed against. Petrus glanced at Vérité. Noting her red eyes, a brief smug smile passed over his face before he returned his gaze to Eaduin and bit his lip. Without releasing her father’s gaze, Eaduin lifted her hand to his mouth to gently kiss it. As her father lifted his mug of ale to his lips, she saw his hands shake, nearly spilling his ale onto the floor. Eaduin turned abruptly toward her, ignoring Petrus. Her father licked his lips and abruptly set his mug aside to scurry amongst the nobles, whispering in ears as he went. Curious faces turned to see her red eyes as they bent their heads to be entertained by her father’s lies. “Nay…” “What is it, my lady?” Eaduin whispered softly into her ear. “I’m sorry, husband, but my father is spreading rumors.” “I expected him to.” “You did? Then stop him!” “Nay. Those who know me, know better.” He gently tilted her chin so he could look into her eyes. “Those who don’t will soon learn I’m a dangerous enemy.” Vérité realized how little she truly knew her husband. She knew he was chivalrous, but his code of honor was sharp as the blade he carried and just as lethal. Eirene was right. Vérité had only seen his kind, gentle heart as he cared for Judith. Now she saw his core of steel. It was thrilling and terrifying all at once and so was he. Eaduin leaned down, defying all public protocols to brush her lips with his. “Fear not, my sweet. I will win out.” She blinked. “I believe you.” “Good.” He smiled. Just then horns blew a fanfare and the assembly turned as one to face the staircase. Like sheaves of wheat before the wind, the entire room bowed or curtseyed as the king and queen made their way down the stairs into the great hall. When they reached the hall, King Stephen paused to speak into the silence. “Lord Eaduin and Lady Vérité, please join Us at head table. Lord Falc’, We wish your company as well.” In the wake of the king’s speech, the room began to buzz like a hive of bees. Vérité took a deep breath. She’d been hoping Their Graces would ask some of the higherranking nobles to sit with them, but she and Eaduin must do their duty as host and hostess. They processed behind the king and queen to the head table. The king waved Vérité to his left with Eaduin beside her while the queen waved Falc’ to her right. They were seated higher at the table than others who outranked them. Far higher than they deserved, which indicated they held favor with the Crown. She found her father in the crowd. He resembled a startled deer, his dark eyes were wide. Even from across the room she could see the droplets of sweat on his forehead 234

Seeking Truth

glisten in the candlelight. For the first time she could remember, she saw outright fear on his face. The king and queen sat while the rest remained standing. “Please, my friends, take your ease,” the king stated, granting permission for the assembly to be seated. In the general noise as people shifted into their seats, Eaduin leaned close to her. “The king plays a deep game.” “One for which my father appears unprepared.” “Good.” Eaduin drew back her chair and assisted her into her seat before settling beside her. She prayed she remembered how to behave at court for she’d not dined in the presence of royalty since she was a child. “It’s all right. Just let them do everything first and you’ll be fine, Vérité,” Eaduin whispered. She nodded, briefly grasping his hand to draw comfort. Haltingly at first then with more confidence she began to eat. She nearly jumped out of her chair when the king leaned over to them to speak. “My lord baron, I notice your people look well in spite of the war that has waged in the land. How do you manage it?” “Loyalty to the Crown, my liege. Whatever my father may or may not have done, I have supported Your Grace from the beginning. It has allowed me and mine to prosper.” King Stephen smiled. “Your fealty has been appreciated.” “And continues to be?” “Yea. Your loyalty to Me is most pleasing.” The king glanced over at Falc’ then out to where Petrus sat glowering at them. “My champion was most concerned over your recent marriage to his sister yet he seems to be more in charity with you this evening.” “I believe we understand one another much better, Your Grace. Lord Falc’ knows I hold his sister in great esteem.” “Do you?” “I do. Her presence here fulfills two roles and I honor her place in both.” “Her first role is as your lady, what is her second role?” “She is a healer, Your Grace. Lady Vérité was instrumental in easing the pain of Mistress Judith Sagar before her recent passing.” “Mistress Judith has died? My sympathies on your loss. I believe she was your father’s leman, wasn’t she?” Vérité stilled when Eaduin stiffened beside her, his face turning red. “Taste this excellent stew, husband. Master James and Mistress Sarah have excelled.” She picked up a piece of bread, dipped it in gravy then lifted it to his mouth before he could speak. He met her eyes, relaxing with a smile before taking the offered

235

Francesca Hawley

bite. He chewed and swallowed as he considered his words then leaned toward the king. “Thank you for your condolences. Her loss is a grievous one to us all, but Mistress Judith was my father’s common law wife. I’ve recognized their union as such and their children as my legal siblings, Your Grace.” King Stephen leaned back in his chair. His fingers drummed on the table as he studied Eaduin. “They are legitimate then?” “They are.” “Very well.” He nodded. “A pity your father neglected to make it known while he lived.” “An oversight, Your Grace.” “No doubt. And will you be settling properties on them?” “My eldest sister is married and chooses to remain here with her family. As to the others, that depends entirely on Your Grace.” “I understand Sir Godwin is your guard captain. Would you object to him leaving you?” “If you granted Godwin lands, I would be pleased for him. Otherwise, I think Draiton Keep in Surrey would suit him.” “One of your lesser properties.” King Stephen nodded. “Methinks Sir Godwin would hold those lands well.” Eaduin smiled. “I concur.” “Done then. We will inform him of his new role shortly.” Vérité watched the glow around Eaduin flare with joy at the positive outcome of the negotiations with King Stephen, impressed with his delicate handling to secure his brother’s portion. All land flowed from the Crown for it was the king’s to bestow or withhold. Today the king bestowed a great gift. Perhaps they would prevail over her father yet for the king seemed to hold them in favor. “You have younger brothers as well, do you not?” “I do. Wystan and Leofric. I have some lesser properties to the north that might suit when they grow older.” The king glanced at Vérité. “But you may yet have sons. Perhaps you should keep properties for them.” Eaduin grinned and winked at Vérité. “I’m sure we’ll have children when the Lord wills it. But I have no worries, for my father was most active in acquiring properties, Your Grace.” “So I understand. He held so much land within his baronage, I’m surprised he was never made an earl.” “Since titles are granted by the Crown, one must hold honor and fealty above gain. I don’t believe my father ever proved to any king’s satisfaction he did.”

236

Seeking Truth

“Perhaps you have the right of it. Not only are titles granted by the Crown, but land as well.” “Indeed. Have I given you concerns over my management of the lands I hold?” “Nay. You are a fine steward of the lands We granted you.” “I try to do my duty well, Your Grace. Though I have not recently traveled to my outlying properties, I hope to make the trip soon.” “Be sure you take plenty of men-at-arms. Some of the lands are still lawless despite My best efforts.” “The war has caused much strife throughout the land.” “Yea.” The king leaned back to listen to the musicians whom he waved forward to entertain the assembly. A troubadour sang of love’s reward and Vérité sighed with pleasure. It had been so long since she’d heard anything but sacred music she had forgotten how much joy could be had in a simple melody. Eaduin leaned close to whisper in her ear. “He’s not so very handsome.” Vérité turned to find his aura reflecting the jealous tone of his voice. She smiled at him, brushing his cheek with her fingertips. “Nay, you are far handsomer, my husband.” “Yet you sigh.” “It is the music that brings pleasure, not the youth singing.” “I see.” He smiled sheepishly. “I hope so. Perhaps you might sing to me in the privacy of our rooms. Then I shall have the beauty of your face and the joy of your voice together.” “Mayhap. Or you might cover your ears and run from the room.” “Nay. One night I slipped into Judith’s room and heard you sing her to sleep. It was a wonderful lullaby, which she cherished, for your voice was most fair.” “I thank you, my lady,” he murmured. “Was it a cradle song you sang to Isolda when she was small?” “It was.” Eaduin smiled, his gaze resting fondly on his daughter where she sat between her husband and father-in-law. “Isolda had dreadful dreams at times and she said she slept better when I sang her to sleep.” “Perhaps one day you’ll sing the song again to our children.” “I’ll plan on it.” He lifted her hand to press a kiss to the inside of her wrist. Vérité gazed into his eyes in perfect harmony. “Lord Eaduin, I believe you have an unmarried younger sister, do you not?” “Yea.” Vérité winced as his hand tightened on hers. He relaxed his hand in apology. “How old is she now?” “Eirene is two and twenty.”

237

Francesca Hawley

King Stephen frowned. “So old? Shouldn’t she be long married by now?” Eaduin pressed his lips together before answering. “She is uncertain whether she feels called to marry Christ or a mere mortal man. Thus far she’s undecided and I’ve not wanted to force her choice.” “She wishes to be cloistered?” “Eirene craves contemplation but I’m not certain she has a true calling.” “That is for her to say.” “It is. This is why I’ve not pushed for her decision.” “You would prefer she marry a man, then?” “I think she would be an exceptional mother and find secular life rewarding, however, of late she has spent time at the Abbey of the Blessed Virgin in prayer with Mother Anne.” “Is that the abbey at which the court sheltered last eve?” “The very same. Mother Anne is a gentle but firm abbess and has counseled Eirene closely so she may know if God calls her to his service. I understand Eirene spent all her time in seclusion, visited only by the reverend mother.” “I pray she may know soon for several lords are in need of a wife of good family. A tie to your house may be of benefit to some since you are loyal.” “As you say, Your Grace.” Despite his seeming ease as he sat sipping his wine, she could see the tension glow around him. Eaduin feared the king might choose a man who would denounce Eirene. If so, she would hide in the abbey to escape a husband capable of such dishonor and Vérité wouldn’t blame her. Like Vérité, Eirene’s special ability could enfeeble her only too easily if she was surrounded by evil thoughts. Vérité’s good fortune in her husband could be laid on Judith’s head for her approval eased Vérité’s fears about accepting Eaduin as a husband. Time spent with him showed her his basic decency. She offered thanks to God daily for giving her safely to Eaduin. Vérité felt the weight of a hostile stare and met her father’s angry eyes. God may have given her safely to Eaduin, but their path together was fraught with danger.

238

Seeking Truth

Chapter Thirty-Three Beside her, Eaduin and King Stephen exchanged genial conversation. The king smiled often in response to her husband’s good humor, even laughing out loud as the two men grew relaxed and comfortable in each other’s company. She should be pleased, but the knots in her stomach prevented it. As the meal progressed, it became difficult to maintain a smile and eat her meal without it choking her. And all because of her father. Petrus glared at the head table, his scowl deepening. He stabbed viciously at his food as course succeeded course and a dirty red glow of rage built around him. The rage rolled outward, resembling a low-lying fog, touching those seated nearest him. Sensing his fury, people leaned away from him as if they smelled rotted meat…their noses wrinkled and their bodies tense. Such rage could not simmer for long without boiling over and Vérité felt certain he would direct his rage at her. Her skin grew cold and her hands were clammy as her father’s waves of rage rolled toward her. She swallowed as her stomach churned. “Vérité? Are you well, sweetling?” Eaduin’s whisper and soft touch offered her some comfort, but fear still washed over her. “I don’t think so.” He clasped her hands. “You’re as cold as ice.” Eaduin chafed them between his warmer ones and she relaxed slightly as his warmth seeped into her. “My father is sending his energy at me.” He frowned. “Are you saying he’s attacking you from across the room?” “I know it sounds mad, but yes he is,” she murmured into Eaduin’s ear. “I believe you. Eirene said Father used to do the same to her.” “I thought he didn’t know about her.” “He knew and he tortured her with it.” Eaduin sighed, lifting his head to glare at Petrus, who merely smiled. “Damn bastard.” As the desserts were removed and the meal ended the king stood, motioning everyone to remain seated when they began to rise. “We will hold an impromptu court at this time.” At the king’s direction, the table was removed from the dais. Eaduin and Vérité would have left the royal presence, but the king waved them back. “My lords and ladies, masters and mistresses, We wish to thank Lord Eaduin and Lady Vérité for their gracious welcome.” After polite applause, the king raised his hands for silence. “We grant our approval of their marriage and wish them a long life together and many sons.” 239

Francesca Hawley

Vérité smiled as Eaduin’s vassals applauded with enthusiasm to the king’s pronouncement. She glanced over at her husband and he took her hand, dropping a lingering kiss of promise against her knuckles. His eyes held the fire of desire and tonight he would begin the process of getting the first of the many sons on her. At least she hoped so. “Our second point of business this evening.” He nodded to the herald and reseated himself in his throne. “King Stephen and Queen Matilda command the presence of Sir Godwin Kempe before them.” Godwin rose, nearly stumbling over the bench on which he sat as he approached the Crown. He bowed low and knelt before the king. “Sir Godwin, we have heard many good things of you and wish to recognize your talents. After discussion with your brother, We have decided to bestow upon you Draiton Keep in Surrey to be held by you for Us through the duration of your lifetime. I would have your oath of fealty at this time before you take your new place as lord.” Vérité wiped tears from her face at the joy which transfixed not only Godwin’s face but Eaduin’s as well. Eaduin looked as proud as if this were his son receiving the accolade from the king. Vérité squeezed Eaduin’s hand as they silently watched the solemn avowal of fealty between Godwin and the king. “Rise, Lord Godwin. We wish you to travel to Draiton Keep and take up your place as lord as soon as you are able. I’m sure your brother will offer you aid as you establish a hold over your lands.” The king glanced over at Eaduin. Eaduin bowed. “It will be my pleasure and my honor to offer my brother whatever aid he should require.” “Excellent. Lord Godwin, you may leave Us to celebrate.” Godwin bowed and returned to where his younger sisters waited to hug him and his younger brothers to buffet him with affectionate slaps. The king’s wide smile grew serious as he again nodded to the herald. “The Crown commands the presence of Lord Petrus de Sauigni.” Vérité met her father’s sullen eyes and her belly tightened painfully. He moved forward, bowing to the Crown before approaching and reluctantly kneeling before the King. Petrus looked up and stared deep into her eyes. Would she speak or not? Imperceptibly, she shook her head in denial. Never would she denounce her husband or his family. Her father scowled and Vérité shivered, certain she’d sealed her fate. The king took a breath to speak, but Petrus rushed ahead before the king could utter a sound. “Your Grace, times in your kingdom are most grave.” King Stephen raised his brows at Petrus’ presumption in speaking before being spoken to but responded nonetheless. “They are, which is why I call you into Our presence. Traitors abound in Our kingdom.”

240

Seeking Truth

“Traitors indeed. Traitors to our Lord, Jesus Christ and to God, the Father.” King Stephen blinked, attempting to hide the confusion glowing around him. “I was not speaking of religious traitors, Lord Petrus.” “No, but they must be brought forward when they are discovered and even you, Your Grace, must punish such sin.” “I know of no traitors to God.” “But I do.” He smiled a silky smile at Vérité and the rage that had curled around him all evening struck out. “It grieves me deeply and personally, but my own child, Lady Vérité Kempe is a traitor to God. She is a witch, Your Grace, and we must not suffer a witch to live.” “Nay!” Eaduin leaped to his feet, his hands clenched at his side. She’d warned him but he must not have expected the blow to fall so soon. “Your Grace, such lies cannot be allowed…” King Stephen waved him back. “As Lord Petrus stated, I must consider such an accusation when it is brought to my attention.” “Bloody bastard!” Eaduin growled as he leaped at her father, intent on wringing the life out of the older man. King Stephen caught Eaduin before he could reach Petrus, struggling against Eaduin’s strength of purpose. “My Lord Kempe, control your anger. I must consider such an accusation regardless of how conveniently it is presented or by whom.” “It is a lie, Your Grace.” Eaduin drew back, but his gaze spoke of death for her father. However unchristian her feelings, Vérité enjoyed seeing the fear that radiated from her father. “That is yet to be determined, my lord.” The king patted Eaduin on the shoulder, deftly pushing him away from Petrus in the process. Petrus smirked at her. “To know such wickedness springs from my loins saddens me for I sought to guide her to salvation by placing her within the Abbey of the Blessed Virgin. In spite of my best efforts, still she follows a path to hell.” A wave of cold surround her and the people seated nearby seemed to recede into the distance as she fought to remain alert. It took all her strength not to collapse into screams or sobs. She must remain calm lest they all assume she was trying to cast a spell. She shivered as she watched the story before her unfold as if it were but a mummery. “Your Grace, parents may only aid their children so far, as poor Lord Osweald knew to his cost.” Petrus threw a glare at Eaduin. “Lord Osweald is fortunate he is long dead, Lord Petrus, for his head would be on the block if he were not. As to his children, he was blessed with children far better than he, so tread carefully with me.” “As Your Grace wills.” Petrus bowed, playing his game carefully. He turned to look upon her, spreading his hands wide, playing to the rapt gazes of the courtiers. “We

241

Francesca Hawley

must be protected from the witch, Your Grace. Pray let the Benedictine brothers who travel with you take charge of her so they may watch over her and question her most diligently.” At this Falc’ rose to his feet, barely holding back a bellow. “Ah, my son, I see you wish to speak for your sister, but alas her magic has made you dumb. I fear for my other children and all who dwell within this castle.” King Stephen took a deep breath. “Brothers, please come forward to take Lady Vérité to her chambers.” “Nay!” she cried. Eaduin blinked tears from his eyes as Vérité jumped from her chair in an attempt to run away. He chased her but her younger half brother Raulf caught her first, pushing her into the arms of one of the Benedictine monks. Eaduin reached her side, pulling her away from the brothers. “Eaduin. Your vow. Honor your vow to me. Now,” she hissed in his ear as tears streaked her pale cheeks. “Give me a chance to make this right. I can defend you.” She struggled in his grasp, glaring up at him. “Nay, there is no time. Don’t let them do this to me.” “I can save you…let me…” “No time…” Her breath came in pants as she reached for the dagger sheathed at his waist. He caught her wrist before she could commit the ultimate sin. He would never allow her to kill herself. “Vérité! Let me try…” “You see, Your Grace. She knows her own guilt and is willing to send her soul to hell before allowing the brothers to question her.” Eaduin whipped around, ready to draw his blade against Petrus but the brothers tore her from his arms. He felt as if a limb had been reft from his body as she screamed. “Your vow! Honor your vow, Eaduin!” “Vérité!” They began to drag her upstairs. He felt the same powerlessness he felt when his father would abuse their villeins. It ripped at his soul to know he was trapped into inaction. How could he stop this now? “Eaduin… You promised me!” she shrieked, struggling fiercely against the combined power of the brothers as they half dragged and half carried her up the stairs. She stuttered to a stop, turning to the king. “Your Grace. Who, other than my father—a known traitor to the Crown—accuses me? Who?” King Stephen smiled. “Yes, Lady Vérité. A most cogent question. Who? Perhaps you would answer, Lord Petrus. Do you have any witnesses other than yourself?” “I have a holy witness to my daughter’s sin. Come forward, Sister.” Eaduin held back a growl as the skeletal Sister Berthe was escorted forward reverently by Petrus’ younger sons Raulf and Serlo. He’d thought things were as bad as

242

Seeking Truth

they could get, but the nun’s presence made it worse. Who would gainsay a holy sister as a witness even though she lied? “Your name, Sister?” the king asked. “Lady Berthe de Fournier, now Sister Berthe of the Abbey of the Blessed Virgin.” “Lady Berthe? You were the woman my father deserted to marry my mother. Why would you testify on his behalf?” Vérité cried. “Lord Petrus never deserted me, witch. Lady Sibylla stole him, but it isn’t important.” She turned to the king, ignoring Vérité. “Your Grace, I have watched over this girl at her father’s request for the last eighteen years. I have sought to guide her to be a good and decent woman. Instead, she has been surly and rude. Worse still, she is ungodly and impenitent. When she was sixteen, she used to sneak out to visit with a common woman and for all I know engaged in fornication with all manner of men while roaming free in the night. Just like a whore and witch.” “I can testify my lady came to me a virgin, Your Grace,” Eaduin shouted. How dare this bitch malign his wife? “Accepted, Lord Eaduin.” “You accept the word of a depraved sinner, Your Grace?” “I know Lord Eaduin, and if he makes a vow, he keeps it.” Vérité choked. Eaduin turned to her. When she glared at him, he sighed. “Do you have more to say, Sister Berthe?” the king asked. “Isn’t that enough?” “What you’ve said ascribes sin to Lady Vérité but does not brand her a witch. So if there’s nothing else…” “She heals people and reads their thoughts. She prophesies. All these things are forbidden.” “You have seen her do this?” “Yes! She’s an evil witch, just like her mother!” “Brothers, take her to her room and lock her inside while I consider this matter. Make sure no sharp objects remain within her reach.” Eaduin groaned as the brothers once again undertook the task of dragging his wife up the stairs, kicking and screaming. He had to stop this but what could he do to keep her from being questioned? He knew she couldn’t lie, and if asked she would incriminate herself even though she was no witch. She elbowed one of the brothers in the gut and struck another in the face. God, he loved her spirit. They grabbed her hands and one of the brothers slapped her sharply across the face. Eaduin clenched his hands. How dare they? “Brothers,” Eaduin spoke. His soft voice carried but was ignored. Vérité continued to struggle and again they slapped her. “Brothers.” They paused, frowning at him. “If another of you dares to lift his hand against my wife, he will join God for his evening prayers.” 243

Francesca Hawley

“Join God?” the tallest brother asked. When he turned, Eaduin recognized him. Brother Jerome was the leader of the local order. He and Osweald had hated each other with a holy, or unholy, passion for many years. Eaduin set his hand on his dagger hilt. “In person, Brother Jerome. Am I quite clear?” “You threaten to kill a holy brother?” He appeared aghast. “Remember who my father was.” Eaduin smiled coldly. “I dare that and more, Brother Prior.” “As you say, my lord.” They escorted Vérité much more gently and Eaduin watched each step of the way while an idea formulated in his head. It was risky, but he thought the king would accept it considering the alternative. Eaduin knew he could save her and he would, for it was long past time to be done with his impotence even if it cost his own life. He whipped around to face the king. “Your Grace!” “Lord Eaduin have you a counter witness in your lady’s defense? One other than yourself?” “He has, Your Grace.” Eaduin closed his eyes as relief washed over him. Mother Anne. She’d remained at the keep and he knew her testimony would carry far more weight than Sister Berthe or his own. “What is your name, good lady?” “I am Mother Anne, the mother superior of the Abbey of the Blessed Virgin. When I left the abbey, Sister Berthe had been confined to a penitent’s cell for contemplation. How she was released or made her way to this keep without my express permission is unknown to me.” King Stephen smiled at her. “Perchance Lord Petrus might enlighten us.” “I need no permission to do God’s work,” Sister Berthe cried. “On the contrary. I am your abbess, therefore you require my permission to travel outside the walls of the abbey. When you return, your time of contemplation will be made permanent. Instead of a penitent’s cell, I think an anchorite’s cell would be more fitting. You will find yourself more in touch with God and far from where any sin might possibly touch you.” “Nay. You can’t!” “I can and will.” Eaduin watched the sister’s face redden then pale to a deathly white. He had always thought Mother Anne to be a gentle and kind woman, but sentencing Berthe to an anchorite’s cell…to be sealed into the walls of the Church with only a small window to see outside and an opening for supplies to be given was merciless. But then what Sister Berthe sought for Vérité was far worse. 244

Seeking Truth

“Mother Anne, have you testimony to share?” “Yea. I too have watched over Lady Vérité’s soul these last eighteen years, Your Grace. Vérité is no witch.” “She ran off to spend time with a whore!” Berthe shrieked. “Vérité was rebellious as a girl because she’d been placed in the convent against her wishes. She had no calling to religious life. I felt no surprise she should attempt to escape, but she always returned to us. She said her prayers, attended Mass and took Holy Communion.” “Artifice!” “At no time did Lady Vérité ever refuse Christ or his teachings. At no time did she attempt to entice others into rebellion, unlike you, Sister Berthe. And at no time did Lady Vérité seek to cause pain or anguish to another. Instead, she trained to heal the wounds of others. She exhibits a skill and knowledge that I get down on my knees to thank God for daily. Lady Vérité is no witch. No more than I am.” “Why do you think Sister Berthe would bear testimony against her then?” the king asked. “Sister Berthe is misguided and bitter, having always borne a personal grudge against Lady Vérité. Quiet contemplation will aid Sister Berthe to understand her life within the Church more fully.” “We have heard two very different witnesses.” The king sighed, glancing uncomfortably at Queen Matilda and raising his brows. The queen shook her head slightly. Petrus took a step forward. “Surely you will not dismiss the sister’s testimony merely because she has sought to bear true witness against a witch.” Eaduin enjoyed watching the sweat form on Petrus’ forehead as his face reddened. His plans were in jeopardy and soon he’d be on trial for treason. “We can’t entirely dismiss the testimony, but it leaves Us in a quandary.” Eaduin winced at the king’s uncertainty. He would have to risk all, but the gambit he had in mind just might work. He stepped forward to draw the king’s attention. “Your Grace, we’ve heard testimony from two women of the Church. If you are unable to overrule Sister Berthe based on Mother Anne’s testimony, we have an alternative.” “Yea, put the witch to a trial by ordeal,” Petrus cried. “Nay.” Eaduin would not let it happen. He would abide by his vow if he must, but he had a choice. Right here. Right now. This was the choice Judith had meant. He could choose to risk his life for his wife. Not out of fear but love. “Do you have an alternative to your lady enduring a trial by ordeal to face these charges of witchcraft that her father levels against her?”

245

Francesca Hawley

“Yea, My Liege,” Eaduin cried. “This worm lied to save his own worthless hide. He knew you would charge him with treason tonight, so he accused my lady of a heinous crime, which impugns my honor. Therefore, I request a criminal appeal by way of a wager of battel. Trial by combat, Your Grace. I’ll take arms against him to prove his falsehood on his body.” “You can’t do this!” The other man’s face twisted with panic as his eyes darted around the room looking for escape. Petrus licked his lips and wiped his brow with his sleeve. He’d been prepared for many things, but evidently not combat with his son-in-law. “What say you, Your Grace?” Eaduin took a deep breath, the knowledge of truth filling him. He’d sought truth and he’d found it. The truth of his love for Vérité. Now he had to keep her with him always, and he would. Eaduin lifted his gaze to his king, certain of what was right for the very first time in his life. King Stephen nodded, relief crossing his face. “You accuse Lord Petrus of bearing false witness against you?” “Against my lady who is mine to protect. Accusing her is a personal injury to me.” The king smiled. “Lord Petrus, We grant Lord Eaduin’s request.” “But, Your Grace…” Stephen held up his hand. “His case has merit. For the timing of your accusation against your daughter is suspect. Therefore you must answer for it.” “This is unfair. It is the province of the Church to question witches.” “To question witches. But your daughter only stands accused. Accused by you, my lord. If your words are true, God will lend his will to your arm. But if not, your perfidy will be apparent to all present.” “To first blood?” Petrus asked. “To the death,” Eaduin answered then bowed to the king. “If My Liege wills it so.” “To the death, then,” King Stephen agreed. Eaduin turned to study Petrus. Even without Vérité’s abilities, he could see the fear shimmering around Petrus, enshrouding him. He decided to set one more nail in the older man’s coffin. “I offer my chapel to Lord Petrus so he may kneel in vigil before God this night. In fact, I will offer my own men-at-arms to guard him in his religious devotions so he is undisturbed.” Eaduin had no intention of permitting Petrus to escape. Such would leave the taint of accusation against Vérité festering. Petrus would answer now, and for all time. “A handsome and generous gesture, Lord Eaduin. It shall be so. It is a fine thing to offer your opponent an honor guard,” the king approved, smiling wryly.

246

Seeking Truth

“But… Where will you seek your ease? I cannot accept such kindness.” Petrus tensed as a dozen of Eaduin’s men surrounded him. “I shall seek my ease with your daughter. Surely the guardianship of the Benedictine Brothers outside our chambers shall offer me similar solace this evening.” “No doubt.” Petrus looked frantically around. “I would have my sons with me.” “I shall be pleased to bear you company this night, Father,” Lord Falc’ responded, drawing a scowl from Petrus. “I’m honored you wish me to share your last night.” “I meant Raulf and Serlo.” “Father, I’m hurt. Am I not one of your sons?” Petrus blinked as coldness entered King Stephen’s expression then nodded emphatically. “Of course. Yes, of course you are. But I would welcome my younger sons as well.” “It shall be as you wish it. Your three sons will surround you in family blessedness, Father. Many nights have I prayed before battle. Allow me to assist you with my prayers and advice before you face your worthy opponent in the morning light.” Falc’s cold grin made Eaduin shiver. He prayed to God he would never earn such enmity from one of his own children. The king cleared his throat. “We shall commence tomorrow at an hour past Terce and continue until Sext should you both still live. We will pause for a midday meal and continue until None and so on, until only one of you remains alive.”

247

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Thirty-Four How could he? she wanted to scream. She wanted to rip everything in the room to small shreds. Instead, Vérité paced, clasping her arms around her. Though the room was warmed by the fire, cold filled her soul. She rubbed her arms, trying to ward off the chill. She loved him. Foolish in the extreme but still she loved him. Knowing he cared for her so little as to allow her torture was almost worse than the hot irons she knew awaited her in the dungeon. Why had she trusted him? Why? Even if he cared nothing for her, he should hold his honor high. Perchance her abilities had deserted her. Shown her what she wished, instead of the truth. Perhaps Eaduin protected himself first as his father did. Surely Judith would not have lied even if her own dreams had. Vérité covered her face, trying to keep the tears at bay. She would not cry over him. The door creaked open and softly closed. It was him. She knew it as she knew her own hand. She could feel his energy reaching out to her, attempting to embrace her, but she stared into the fire instead. Vérité wanted to fly at him to scratch out his eyes, but she did nothing. She waited. “Vérité, you know I’m here. Look at me.” “Why? You’ve betrayed me. What could you possibly say that I might wish to hear?” “You wanted me to kill you? Truly?” “Yea!” She whipped around. “Death is preferable to the methods of questioning used by the men of God. God. He cursed me when I was born. Cursed me!” Eaduin grabbed her and shook her. “Nay. You’ve not been cursed. You’ve been blessed with God’s favor. Never speak such a lie again!” “Lie? Do you see me discoloring? Do you see me uncomfortable? I speak truth.” “The truth you believe at this moment. But it isn’t God’s truth.” “How could you possibly know what God’s truth is? You have no honor! If you did, I would lie dead in the great hall.” “Nay. The promise I made was to kill you only if there were no other options. I have an alternative and all will be well. I’ll see to it.” “What alternative?” “It’s unimportant. I want to spend the night in your arms. Buried in your body.” Eaduin pulled her close, his face tense. Almost desperate in his need. He pressed warm kisses to her neck and she tilted her head to allow him access. She almost succumbed as she allowed her body to curve into his then she tensed.

248

Seeking Truth

“I will never welcome you into my body again.” Vérité ripped herself from his arms and slapped his face, fleeing across the room to escape his influence. “How could you think I would ever give myself to a man such as you? A husband who would allow my father to arrange for me to be tortured while he stood idly by. Nay.” “You will not be tormented. I’ll not allow it.” “How? Will you kill me now? Do it then and be done.” “I’ll not kill you. I lo…” He shook his head, running his hands through his hair. “I will not kill you.” “Then of what use are you to me? Get out, Eaduin. If you won’t protect me from suffering, get out!” He blinked his eyes. Surely not tears. Eaduin would not… He backed toward the door. “I will see you in the morning. Pray for me.” Eaduin reached for the door. His hand grasped the latch before she relented. “Eaduin, why would you see me in the morning? Will my questioning begin then?” “There will be no questioning, Vérité.” “No? Trial by ordeal is how a witch is examined.” “You will not suffer trial by ordeal. Good night.” “Hold. If I will not be questioned, then what will happen? It’s my life, Eaduin. Mine. I deserve to know my fate.” “I challenged your father to a wager of battel.” Vérité blinked as she stared at his stiff back. “A what?” “Trial by combat.” “Combat?” Vérité gasped. “You will fight for me?” “Yea. Good night.” Again he reached for the door. “Wait! Eaduin, you mustn’t. Please.” “I will and I must. You are my lady. It’s my duty to protect you.” “Duty? You do this out of duty? Nay. Please don’t do this, I’m not worth it.” Eaduin’s hand dropped from the door. “What did you say?” “Don’t fight for me. I’m not worth it.” He turned, his face red and his eyes blazing. “Never say such a thing again. Don’t you understand, woman? I’d die for you.” Vérité shuddered, feeling as if she’d been slapped. She shook her head for this seemed unreal. Did he mean it? She focused on the glow of his aura. It flared around him, solid and certain. He spoke truth and the color of his aura reflected the red glow of his passion, but there was a pink tinge to it. Love. Could he love her? Surely not. Her wishes affected her vision. It must be. She blinked her eyes, tears obscuring her vision. “You would die for me?” she whispered. “Do you mean it?” “Yea. I mean it. You’re my family, Vérité.”

249

Francesca Hawley

“And that’s the only reason?” Eaduin glared at her. “What would you have me say?” “The truth.” “I’d die for you for the same reason you told your father you wouldn’t betray your husband.” He looked down at his feet, awkwardly shuffling. What exactly had she said? Vérité paled. She’d told her father she loved Eaduin more than life. How had he known? But then… “Did Eirene tell you?” “Nay, my lady.” “How else would you know?” “There is a secondary entrance to your stillroom. I wanted to talk to you but heard your father’s threat…and your answer. Do you truly love me?” He looked up, his face stoic yet she could see hope filling his eyes. “I do.” She licked her lips. “Is that why you’d die for me, Eaduin? You love me?” He cleared his throat, straightening as if to face a fate worse than death. “Yea. I love you, Vérité. I didn’t expect it or want it, but I do.” He loved her. Joy filled her heart and Vérité flew across the room to throw herself into his arms. He looked startled but caught her close, pressing kisses to her lips as he wiped away the tears that now fell down her cheeks. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He stroked her cheeks, staring deeply into her eyes. She laughed through the tears. “I’m crying because I’m happy. Women do.” “None in my experience.” “Not even Judith?” He smiled. “Well, maybe once.” Vérité wrapped her arms tight around him, enjoying the feel of his strong body. He tipped up her chin to press another gentle kiss to her mouth. Then he gazed into her eyes. “At the lowest moment in my life, you came into it and lifted me up with your spirit and your joy. How could I not love you, sweetling?” “Easily. My own father doesn’t love me.” “Mine hated me, but they matter not. We matter. I love you and you love me. We don’t need more.” His face was open and now that he’d admitted his love aloud, it glowed around him. The red reflecting his passionate and intense nature beamed from him, but now there was a strong shimmer of pink running through the red. Flashes of gold and white flared at the edges, highlighting his honor and goodness. What an amazing man she’d married. “You are so beautiful, Eaduin,” she breathed, awestruck by the full power of his multihued aura. 250

Seeking Truth

He chuckled. “Haven’t we had this discussion before? Men aren’t beautiful.” “I wasn’t speaking of your looks, Eaduin, but rather your soul. It radiates around you and I’m humbled by the beauty of it.” Eaduin looked down and blinked rapidly. “No one has ever said such a thing to me before.” His husky voice was barely audible, but she heard him. She stroked his shadowed face softly. “They should have. You are a good, decent and honorable man. I’m proud to call you husband.” He took a shuddering breath and she saw his shoulders shake. Her words moved him. She pressed close, kissing his neck then his cheek. Vérité looked into his face, surprised by the damp streaks on it. “I didn’t mean to make you cry, Eaduin.” “I’m crying because I’m happy,” he chuckled. “Men do.” “You wretch.” Vérité laughed, hugging him tight. “I adore you. Utterly and completely.” He cupped her face in his hands. “And I worship you. I worship you body, heart and soul. God made you for me and me for you. Thanks to Him, we’ve found one another.” “Praise be to Him,” she agreed. Eaduin lowered his head and his lips met hers. Gently. Reverently. Vérité sighed, savoring the feel of his mouth on hers. She felt a sense of wonder. He had kissed her deeply, intensely and even forcefully before, but never had he kissed her with reverence until this moment. It was glorious. She explored his mouth, as if tasting him anew, for this was new to them both. He lifted his head and she opened her eyes. Vérité traced the curve of his lips with her fingertip and he smiled. Such a beautiful smile. “Say what you will, but you are beautiful,” she murmured. “As you will it, my lady,” he chuckled, scooping her into his arms and carrying her up to their bed. He laid her gently into the middle, settling beside her. He studied her face as if to memorize her features. “I hope our children resemble you.” She stroked his soft hair. “And I was thinking I hope they would remind me of you.” “But I’m not beautiful.” “You are to me, Vérité. You’re my world.” He leaned close, pressing soft kisses to her face and neck. “No other woman has seen all of me and loved me as you have.” “But Judith…” “Judith saw me as a beloved son. Isolda as her dear papa. My sisters as a stern but loving brother. You see me as those things, but also as a passionate lover. You see all of me and love me still, in spite of my faults.”

251

Francesca Hawley

He helped her remove her overdress then her undertunic, his fingers caressing her through her thin linen chemise. His eyes darkened with passion and his face colored as he touched her. So this is what it felt to be worshiped. She would gladly obey him if he worshiped her always. His smile widened. “I can almost see what you’re thinking. You are thinking of our marriage vows. With my body, I thee worship.” Vérité blinked. “How did you know?” “It’s in your eyes.” “Are you sure you can’t read minds?” He laughed, kissing her brow. His lips traced her bare shoulder as he eased her chemise off her shoulder then removed it, tossing it to the foot of the bed. She lay before him unclothed and aroused. He surveyed the length of her, his gaze almost touching her physically. As it traveled over her breasts, her nipples peaked. As his gaze slipped over her belly, she quivered, parting her thighs so he could see her arousal. “Ah, my lovely lady. Such perfection should only be found in the angels.” Eaduin ran his fingers over her shoulders then began a downward path. He paused to follow the curves of her full breasts, finally offering loving attention to her tight nipples. She arched into his touch. She reached for his tunic to undress him, but he caught her wrists in his hands. “Nay, wife. Let me discover all I’m fighting for.” “Fighting…I’d forgotten.” She tensed, her thoughts returning to the morrow. Would she lose Eaduin? If she did, would she burn as a witch? Could anything cause more pain than his death? He stroked her jawline, staring into her eyes. “Nay, lady. Think not on such unhappiness. I shall prevail. God will guide me. I know it.” “How can you know?” “Judith told me we would have children together. Not just one child. Children. Unless something miraculous happens, to have more than one child I must plant my seed in you many times.” “Do you love me for children alone?” “It isn’t only children that drives my emotions. Never think it. I love all of you. Be at peace and let me return to pleasuring you. Agreed?” Vérité smiled at him seeing truth in the glow around him. She stroked his face. “Yea, husband. I agree.” She ran her hands over his strong arms, wishing for the pleasure of touching bare skin. But then, they had the night together. May it be long and breathless.

252

Seeking Truth

Chapter Thirty-Five Eaduin viewed his wife’s soft, pale skin with pleasure and ownership. He still couldn’t believe such perfection belonged to him. He curved a hand around one of the full mounds of her breasts and suckled her. Vérité moaned, arching upward, her fingers tangling in his hair to hold him close. Once, he’d believed God hated him but no more. Somehow certainty filled him. Not only did God find favor with him but He would provide aid so Eaduin would prevail against the evil designs of Petrus. God could not be so cruel as to show him this paradise only to snatch it away. Eaduin flicked his tongue teasingly against the tip of her, smiling when she twisted under his mouth. Tracing a path over her ribs and belly, he settled his sword hand between her legs. She opened for him like a flower seeking light, wet with morning dew. Her sex glowed a deep pink—swollen and luscious. Ripe fruit waiting to be eaten. He slipped his rough fingers over her smooth, slick flesh. Her mewls of excitement tightened his gut and his cock. He rubbed her nub with his thumb as he slid his fingers inside her damp cunt. More than damp, she was wet. Ready for his possession and he wanted to possess her. He wanted to brand her body with his so she would never forget the feel of his flesh in hers. Even the smell of her drove him to madness. Sweet and spicy at once. Eaduin trailed kisses along her ribs, her belly and her hips. He spread her thighs, settling between them. Her pants of excitement pleased him and he groaned when she licked her lips as she anticipated his touch. Being clothed while she lay bare was both a pleasure and a torment. Though he wanted to feel her body, he also wanted to make this last. If he was bare, he’d be too tempted to plunge his cock deep inside her. Eaduin drew a deep breath over the core of her. So sweet. He parted her folds to reveal her trembling pink flesh. “Wider, sweetling. Let me see all of you.” She whimpered but obeyed and he was rewarded with a view of such intimacy he felt humbled by it. He snaked his tongue over her, tormenting the folds of her body. Tasting. Teasing. He smiled as she writhed, her upper lip growing damp as her head thrashed from side to side. His cock ached. Only burying himself in her would ease him, but not yet. Nay. Flicking his tongue against her bud made her shudder as she neared her climax. Vérité pressed upward, seeking his mouth and tongue as he withdrew. He blew against her hot cunt, expecting to see steam rise from her. “Eaduin. How you torment me. Please…”

253

Francesca Hawley

“Please? Please what?” He slid a finger inside her, drawing her moistness onto his hand. He eased a second finger into her body then another until she lay gasping, her hips rocking onto his hand. He loved to watch her. Her skin dewy and flushed pink as she begged for her release. Such a beautiful sight. Eaduin covered her with his mouth, sucking strongly as he worked her cunt. Vérité jerked, screaming when her body shook as she came for him. He continued to suckle then tugged at her bud with his teeth, gently drawing her out before sucking again. She whimpered as waves of release took her over and over again. “Enough. Oh God in Heaven, I can bear no more.” She reached for him, pulling at his hair. He released her bud from his mouth but maintained a slow, gentle penetration with his fingers. He softly tongued her, smiling when she shuddered, whimpering with continued pleasure. “We both know you can bear much more, but I shall be tender with you this night.” “Eaduin, please hold me.” He met her gaze and seeing her need for reassurance, he abandoned her cunt, settling at her side. He pulled her into his arms to drop kisses along her damp forehead, smiling as she burrowed her face in his shoulder and held tight to him. “Fear not, sweetling. I shall triumph tomorrow. Do you not have confidence in my ability to defend us both?” “Yea. If you were fighting an honorable man I’d be utterly confident and content. But, Eaduin, you fight my father.” She sighed, running her soft lips over his bare neck. It almost distracted him from her next words. “Your father was a ruthless and cruel man, but on the field of battle he had a code of conduct. My father has none. Expect no mercy, for he will show none. Expect treachery, for it is in his nature to cheat and lie.” “He has no honor?” “None. It is in large part why Falc’ holds him in such contempt. To be the son of a man with no honor pains him.” “I understand well.” Eaduin stroked her hair, considering her words. He’d managed to counter Petrus tonight, but tomorrow? Tomorrow, all would change. She sighed. “He might well run away tonight and leave the charge hanging over me but unanswerable except by ordeal.” “Nay. He will not do that.” “How do you know?” “Because he is spending the night in vigil in the castle chapel. My men-at-arms surround the building as an honor guard. Your brother Falc’ even volunteered to spend the night with him to offer counsel.” Vérité sat up and looked down into his eyes. “And Father agreed?” “He had little choice when the king applauded my generosity.” He grinned when she laughed. 254

Seeking Truth

“Father must be livid.” “I believe he was.” She kissed his lips. “You are truly extraordinary. To create such a thorough trap but disguise it as kindness.” “I believe the king and Falc’ were impressed as well.” “I wish I’d been there.” “It was just after your very solid drubbing of the brothers. I particularly enjoyed the punch you landed on Brother Jerome.” “Is he the tall, thin one?” “Yea. Very distinguished-looking with his white hair.” “But very nasty in his prayer-making.” “How so?” “He intoned a prayer for God to torment witches with the fires of hell on earth. What kind of holy person prays for the pain and injury of another?” “One like Brother Jerome.” “Or Sister Berthe.” Eaduin chuckled. “You missed that particular development as well.” “Development?” “Mother Anne came forward to speak in your defense after you were removed and she was most displeased with Sister Berthe for leaving the abbey without permission.” Vérité’s eyes widened. “Oh, I’d not considered such a thing. Did Mother Anne order the sister to beg for her bread for a month?” “Nay. She thought solitary contemplation as an anchorite would be appropriate penance for Sister Berthe.” “God above, an anchoress? Remind me never to make Mother Anne wroth with me.” Vérité shivered. “I thought much the same after her pronouncement.” He stroked Vérité’s bare back, kissing her shoulder. “No one will gainsay her. When you consider that Sister Berthe’s testimony put you in way of such suffering, the rest of her life as an anchorite is a small price to pay.” “Perhaps, but death would be kinder.” “You have a fondness for death, my lady,” Eaduin scolded, lightly swatting her arse. “It’s because I know the soul continues free of earthly bonds. Death is a liberation of the soul, but being walled alive in a church is to be put in the worst sort of prison.” Her fingers slipped to the bottom of his tunic and she wormed her hand up underneath until she stroked his bare chest. He hid a grin. “Eaduin?”

255

Francesca Hawley

“Hmmm?” “Have we done for the night?” “Did you not say you could bear no more?” “I meant I could bear no more at that moment. I can bear more now. Most especially if we remove your clothes.” She shifted to the foot of the bed and pulled at his boots, however, her efforts proved fruitless. “Perhaps if you climb off the bed, face away from me and take my foot between your legs to pull.” Her eyes twinkled as she considered his suggestion. “Perhaps so.” She set word to action and he was graced with the sight of her curved white buttocks bent in his direction. Vérité pulled, yet his boots remained. She looked teasingly back over her shoulder. “Should I bend more?” “Yes,” he growled, licking his lips. “Like this?” She widened her stance and leaned over farther, providing him a tantalizing view of her wet sex in addition to her white arse. She tugged ineffectually at his boot, chuckling as she glanced at him. “God in Heaven.” He gently caught her with the toe of his boot and pulled her back, off balance. She fell toward him and he caught her easily, lifting her onto his lap. He slapped one rounded buttock, mesmerized by the pink glow his palm left behind. She arched into him. “Ummmm. You are such a handsome brute, husband,” she purred, lifting her bottom for another slap. “You want another?” “Yea. Please.” “Damn. I was determined to make sweet, gentle love with you this night.” She smiled. “Eaduin, you are many things, but a man of sweet, gentle passion is not one of them. For you passion is fierce. Primal. It is a winner-take-all war.” “A war in which we are comrades. I do not seek victory over you.” “I know. You seek to wring pleasure for both of us from a nameless enemy, and you succeed brilliantly.” Vérité stroked his hands as they rested on her breasts. “For you, husband, this is tenderness. Desire though demands more of us both. I value tenderness from you, but I also value your intensity within the throes of desire. I don’t seek you to change or become something you are not.” “Such is love.” “Yea. So love me then. Make me scream.” She glanced at the closed door guarded outside by Benedictine brothers. “Make the brothers blush because they cannot leave their posts this night, husband.”

256

Seeking Truth

“Such a wicked lass you are.” He threw back his head in laughter as he imagined Brother Jerome’s reaction to hearing Eaduin make love to his wife. It was sinfully delicious. “And how well you understand me.” Eaduin eased Vérité onto her knees on the bed. When she began to move, he caught her hip. “Remain where I put you, wife.” He pulled off his boots then shed his clothes quickly so they landed in a heap. When he turned back toward the bed, Vérité remained positioned on all fours. By the look in her eyes, he could tell she’d watched him undress and it aroused her. As she waited for him, she widened her knees and tilted her hips upward to offer more of her arse to his gaze. “Very pretty, lady.” He brought his palm down hard, enjoying the sting of the impact in his hand. Vérité enjoyed it too and she lifted her hips higher, wordlessly begging for another slap. He chuckled, rewarding her with a smack to the other cheek. Two red palm prints decorated her white flesh and she moaned as she waited for the fire to spread to her cunt. “Again?” Her voice was soft and seemingly submissive, yet he could hear the demand in her tone and in the way she thrust her arse toward him. “You want more?” “Yea, my lord.” Eaduin caressed the smooth flesh of her bottom, smiling as she shivered under his touch. He ran his fingers over her wet folds, relishing the moan she couldn’t quiet. She widened her legs, lifting upward to catch his moving fingers. He tweaked her bud, chuckling when she whimpered. “You taunt me,” she sighed. “And you love it. Admit it.” He continued teasing her. Her hips lifted, chasing his fingers. “Come now, admit it.” She groaned. “Yea, I do.” “Do what?” Vérité looked over her shoulder at him, frowning. “I don’t understand.” “You do…what?” She bit her lip. “I love it.” “Love what?” “Love when you taunt me.” Her soft murmur went straight to his cock, sending a shudder coursing through him. He dipped his fingers inside her, withdrawing when she thrust back. His cock stood straight along his tight gut, aching with need but he ignored the pain. Oh, he wanted to bury himself in her wet cunt and never leave, but not too soon. Not just yet.

257

Francesca Hawley

After all, they had the whole night and he wanted to enjoy each minute of the darkness. He slapped her delectable arse, sighing when she moaned and leaned toward him. “Again, Eaduin. Please…” He brought his hand down again, feeling the warm spread from his palm up his arm. Eaduin stroked his free hand over his taut nipples as he spanked his lady. He reached down to take his cock in hand, stroking himself lightly. With each fierce caress of her arse, she moaned and lifted her hips to meet the measured strike of his hand. When he’d warmed her bottom enough, he slid his fingers into her slick body. Her backward thrust would have forced his entire hand inside her had he not held her off, still she moved with his hand. He couldn’t restrain a smile at her enthusiasm. “That’s it, Vérité. Enjoy the feel of my fingers parting you.” “Yea, Eaduin. Please. Oh God in Heaven, don’t stop!” He knelt behind her to bury his face between her legs and drink her in. She pushed back onto his face. “Yea!” She tilted her pelvis to ease his access to her tight bud, which he sucked into his mouth. When she screamed as her climax took her, he nearly came himself, fighting it even as he deepened the thrust of his tongue into her body. “So sweet,” he moaned as he continued to eat her. He stood, catching her hips tight in his hands. If he didn’t take her now, he’d die. He slowly edged into her body, preventing her from taking all of him at once. He wanted to savor the feel of his cock slipping inside her. Eaduin looked down to where their flesh blended, licking his lips as he watched the length of his cock penetrate the depths of her body. Slowly he allowed her to encompass the head in her heat and wetness, sighing as she clasped tight to him. He groaned, shaking his head when a drop of sweat fell into his eyes. Time. He would take his time with her. Or try to at any rate. His nipples throbbed, and his cock strained. Still he fought his instinct to drive into her cunt. “For pity’s sake, take me! Fuck me!” she cried, trying to thrust back onto his cock. “Nay. Wait for my pleasure, lass, or I’ll tie you to the bed.” He brought his hand sharply down on her bottom, smiling at her soft groan. This woman, of all the many women he’d known, knew just how to drive him to the edge with her sweet surrender. She was such a delicious combination of innocence and temptation. He knew he would never tire of fucking her no matter how old they became or how long they were married. Still, he fought the need to thrust. Instead, he inched farther into her tight cunt. When she started to move, he again smacked her bottom. “Move again, Vérité, and I’ll bind you. I swear it,” he growled. She shivered at the tone of his voice. He frowned. Had he frightened her? “Perhaps I wish it,” she whispered. 258

Seeking Truth

Eaduin froze. Had he heard her aright? Surely not… But then… “Do you?” He ran his fingers down her spine. “Do you want me to lay you on your back and bind you to the four corners of the bed? Shall I drive you to the brink of sanity before I take you? Is that what you want?” She mewled, but not a word did she speak. “Vérité, I would have your answer. Do you want to be bound to our bed?” He withdrew his cock and she cried out, turning around to meet his gaze. Her eyes dropped to his rigid cock and she licked her lips. She would drive him to madness. “Focus, lady. I would have your answer.” “Yea.” He barely heard her whisper. “Yea, what? Be clear, my lady wife. For once tied, there’ll be no retreat.” She raised her eyes to his, biting her lip. He could almost hear her thinking. She shifted her weight so she sat on the bed then shifted yet farther until she lay in the center of their bed. She looked at him, her green eyes wide and uncertain. Eaduin felt his throat tighten with emotion as she extended each limb toward the four corners of the bed. He blinked sharply at the earnest display of trust. God, how he loved her. Her sensuality. Her courage. Her kindness. All of her. It was as well he was already on his knees for her act of surrender would have driven him there. “I wish to be bound to our bed for our mutual pleasure, husband.” He closed his eyes. She could not have said anything more perfect. He reopened his eyes. He swallowed then cleared his throat. “If that is your wish, I will bind you for our mutual pleasure, wife. Let me find some leather straps.” She grinned. “They are in the cabinet with the candles.” “How do you know?” “Some straps were delivered from the tanner during the week. As soft as they were, I thought you must have ordered them for us, so I put them there.” “You astonish me for such is exactly what I’d done.” He laughed and bent to drop a loving kiss on her mouth. He took out the straps and inspected the other contents of the cabinet. Smiling, he also took down a candle before closing the door. He laid the candle on the bed between her thighs. With deliberation, he tied first one wrist then the other. As he moved to her feet, he met her hungry gaze. “With certainty?” “Yea. Please, make me beg, husband.” She glanced at the door then at him, breaking into a grin. “Make me beg loudly.” He thought of the brothers stationed outside. “Such a wicked wench you are.” “Would you want me any different?” “Nay. You are utterly perfect as you are.”

259

Francesca Hawley

The glow that filled her face at his words humbled him and it formed a resolve in his heart and soul to lavish all the pleasure he had to give her so she would never again doubt how he cherished her. She would know her value, and perhaps in learning it, teach him his.

260

Seeking Truth

Chapter Thirty-Six Eaduin tied the last strap then met her gaze, his gut tightening when she smiled timorously at him. A woman of such contrasts. Seductive and lusty then uncertain and shy. Would he ever completely understand her? Perhaps not, but that was part of the pleasure. He watched her relax her entire body in spite of her current uncertainty. It was as if she knew he would keep them both safe. Such trust and acceptance from his lovers had been rare and he intended to reward her for it. Tonight and all the days—and nights— of their life. Barring treachery, he knew he would win on the morrow, but if he was proved wrong, he wanted her to know their bond would last until she joined him in God’s house in Heaven. Eaduin cupped her breast then leaned forward to kiss her mouth, enjoying the way she opened to him. As he withdrew, he kissed the tip of her nose then gazed at the beautiful feast laid out before him. “Where to begin?” he murmured. “Begin at the top and work your way down?” “Or at the bottom and work my way up. Of course, I could start in the middle… Such a dilemma,” he teased. “Begin where it most pleases you. For at the moment, I have little ability to gainsay you.” Eaduin cocked his head, gently stroking the curve of her belly. Her soft flesh rippled beneath his touch. “If at any time you truly want me to stop, you must tell me.” “How would you know the difference?” He ran his fingers over her rib cage, lightly tracing the fullness of her breasts. “A reasonable question. Perhaps we need a word we both know. If you say it, then I stop.” “Should I say stop?” “But will you always mean stop when you say it?” He ran his fingers over the mound of her sex dipping between her legs to tease the outer folds of her cunt lips. “No, perhaps not,” she breathed. “It should be a word you would never normally say in bed.” She bit her lip. Eaduin could see she had an idea, but was reluctant to share it. He slid his fingers through her dampness then eased a finger deep into her cunt. She whimpered and lifted her hips in encouragement. “Do you have a suggestion, my lady?”

261

Francesca Hawley

“A what?” Her eyes reluctantly opened. It took several long moments for her eyes to focus on his face. “A suggestion for a word you should say if you truly want me to end my torment of you.” He eased his finger out of her body and pressed a second into her alongside the first. “Oh yea. Yea…” “Well, what is it?” “What is what?” He chuckled. “What word do you suggest we use to stop?” He curled his fingers inside her enjoying the wriggle of her hips and her moans of pleasure. He pushed his fingers in then pulled out, dragging more pleasure from her. Eaduin’s cock jerked along in sympathy with her hips as he worked his fingers in her cunt. “A stop word, my lady. What will you remember in the midst of this pleasure which I give you?” “Oh God. I don’t know!” He eased another finger inside her, and then pressed his thumb to her bud. She whimpered as she gained her release. He continued to play her, thrusting his fingers deeply into her body while pressing and rubbing the nub of her arousal. “You do know, my lady. I saw it in your eyes. When the pleasure or pain overwhelms you, which word shall I listen for?” Eaduin watched the fever-pink flush cover her skin while the dampness of her arousal slicked his hands. He tantalized her further, pinching and playing her tight nipples with his free hand. He pulled first one then the other then pinched, smiling as her hips jerked in excitement from his rough treatment of the tips. She sobbed as another wave of pleasure tore through her, her hips bucking. The feel of her body clenching on his fingers made his cock twitch in hunger, but he held himself back. “Tell me, Vérité. Do you want me to pause? Has it grown too much?” “Yea. Please, stop…” “Ah, but do you mean it? Do you really want me to stop?” “Yea.” He continued to drive her body to greater pleasure, determined to have her provide him with a stop word. If it was she who provided the word, she would always remember it—even under the worst duress he could bestow. “Then what word should I hear to tell me to stop?” “I…” He climbed between her bound thighs to part her sex, so swollen and wet. He bent to suck her into his mouth, shivering when she moaned and climaxed yet again. With his mouth locked onto her bud he lifted his gaze to her flushed face. He caught the

262

Seeking Truth

tender nub of flesh between his teeth, tugging. Gently at first then with more force and pressure. He bit just to the edge of pain. Her gasping pants filled his ears, increasing his desire. He lifted his head to blow against her quivering flesh. “God in Heaven. Eaduin. No more…” “What word tells me to stop? You know it. Just say it and I’ll cease to torment you, sweetling.” “I…” “You enjoy having your arse slapped, do you not?” “Yea,” she gasped. Her confusion at his abrupt change in topic brought a smile to his lips. A wicked smile, he thought. “It isn’t the only part of your body that warms when paddled. Shall I warm more of you?” Slowly her eyes opened. He stroked the downy curve of her cunt with his palm, winking when her eyes widened as she considered the implications of his caress. “You can spank…there?” “Yea, lass. I can and will. Unless you gainsay me. Shall I stop?” Her tongue flicked her lips, wetting that which her gasping had dried. “Oh my Lord…” “Yea, my lady?” “I didn’t mean…” “You have but to say a word that will force me to cease, and your torment will be belayed. Do you say it?” She bit her lip, but remained silent, shivering with excitement. He raised his hand, providing her ample opportunity to end it. When no sound was forthcoming, he struck. The slap resonated from his hand directly to his cock. Again he brought his palm down in a sharp slap to her sex. Her expression combined pain and pleasure. Eaduin considered stopping, but when he lifted his hand, she lifted her hips in silent entreaty. Her whimpering moans excited him beyond measure so again his hand connected with her cunt. “More.” He barely heard her ragged voice, but he instinctively knew ‘more’ was no stop word. Still he asked, “Did you say your stop word, my lady wife?” “Nay. Don’t stop. Please…” Again he struck her moist flesh. He smiled when she mewled, straining against the straps that bound her to their bed. The spanking had reddened her, yet she strained for more, lifting her hips upward. Striving for his touch. He brought his palm against her cunt one more time, groaning with the stinging of his palm. He grasped his cock, stroking along the rigid length. Eaduin threw back his head, enjoying the way his warm palm heated his cock. He picked up the candle with his free hand and rubbed the tip against her bud.

263

Francesca Hawley

Eaduin couldn’t prevent a chuckle when she jerked. “So fucking sensitive,” he murmured. “Does it feel good?” “You know it does.” Her glistening breasts and belly drew his gaze. Her sweat made her glow in the torchlight of the room. He dragged the candle along her slit, enjoying the way she spread her legs and tried to capture it with her cunt. “Eaduin, I want it inside me.” “Do you?” “God, yes.” Still he continued to torment her, withholding penetration. Vérité sobbed, rocking her hips against the glossy tip. He focused his attention onto her nub, pressing and rubbing the candle there. She groaned. “Fuck me with it. Please…” “Nay, lass. Not yet.” He reached between her legs to part the folds of flesh to make her bud more vulnerable to pressure from the candle cock. Her eyes flew open as he pressed firmly with the tip of the candle, circling and rubbing her most tender spot. Her body tightened as she strained upward…lifting her hips…widening her thighs…giving her body to him. Eaduin blinked with the beauty of it. She truly was perfect. “Come for me, lass. Give me your release.” She cried out as her body obeyed his command, shuddering from the force of her pleasure. Rather than easing off, Eaduin gently penetrated her with the candle to keep her at fever pitch. He thrust into her, loving the way she moved in union with the candle. Taking it in for him. Accepting him. Accepting his wants. His desires. Just watching her hips buck nearly brought him to his own peak, but he grasped the base of his cock to hold back his climax. He wouldn’t waste his seed now as if he were an untried youth. Nay, he had plans for his lady. And she still hadn’t given him a stop word. Eaduin continued to fuck her with the candle, but he wasn’t finished with her yet. He took her bud between thumb and forefinger, pinching. Gently at first then harder until she screamed as another climax tore through her body before the previous one left her. He scraped his thumbnail lightly over the nub. She whimpered, her eyes tightly closed. “It’s too much, Eaduin.” “You know a stop word. You thought of it. Just tell me and I’ll cease to torment you.” He pulled the candle from her body and her eyes opened, filled with dismay. Eaduin grinned for she didn’t have any desire for him to stop just yet, no more than he had.

264

Seeking Truth

But God knows, if he didn’t fuck her cunt, he’d die. He held his cock and leaned toward her. As she realized his intent, she strained frantically toward him, mewling in the back of her throat. When the head of his cock pressed against the entrance to her sheath, she moaned. She spread her legs wide while she lifted her hips toward him in a futile attempt to engulf his cock. “Take me. Fuck me!” Her screams were certain to have reached the brothers’ ears as they stood guard in the corridor, and he couldn’t prevent a grin at the thought of it. “But my lady, did you not just tell me this was too much?” “Nay! Don’t stop. For the love of God, fuck me, Eaduin. Now!” Eaduin chuckled, easing his cock away from her. He leaned over her to stroke her straining breasts and to tweak her tight nipples. Pinching and releasing repeatedly. “Eaduin, please. Take me. Shove your cock into my cunt! Don’t torment me so!” He moved over her, pressing his cock against her cunt while he dipped his head to suck on her nipples. “Such language, lady wife. What will the brothers think?” he whispered into her ear, continuing to tease her. She looked at him, sense entering her eyes again at his words. Vérité glanced over at the door across the room then back at him. She licked her lips and moaned as he started to slide his cock over her trembling bud. He could almost feel it digging into the underside of his shaft as he thrust against her. “Beg for your pleasure, my lady. Beg loudly,” he purred as he licked her earlobe and pinched a nipple. Meanwhile he continued to glide between the folds of flesh that protected her sex. She strained upward, moving with him. “Fuck me, Eaduin. Now!” He laughed. “I said beg, my love. Not demand.” He closed his eyes as their slick flesh slipped together, teasing them. He ached to get inside her, but he waited. Not yet. He would have her begging beneath him before he satisfied them both. Eaduin took her mouth, twining his tongue with hers as they thrust together. Her hot, moist cunt called to him, but he withheld his cock from her. He wanted to push her further. Discover her limits. He rolled his hips against her, rubbing his cock over her nub. Faster. She moved with him as much as her bonds allowed, arching to meet him. Eaduin cradled her close, kissing her deeply. Tasting the depths of her hungry mouth. He pressed a kiss against the corner. “Come again, lass. You want a release, don’t you?” “I want you inside me,” she moaned. “Louder. But make it a request this time.” His gut was so tight it would no doubt ache come the morrow, but for now he didn’t care. Taking his woman. Owning her completely. Making her beg for her pleasure. These things filled his thoughts. Not tomorrow. Tomorrow could go hang. “Please, Eaduin?” 265

Francesca Hawley

“Better, sweetling, but louder. What do ask of me?” “Please fuck me.” “More.” He kissed her chin then nuzzled her neck. “Beg me, love.” “Will you shove your cock in me? Please fill me, husband. I beg you to take me.” Eaduin groaned. Sweet, sweet words. He’d have more of them. He wanted the whole damn keep to hear her. “You want to feel the thrust of my cock buried to the hilt in your wet cunt?” “Yea! Oh please.” “Ask me. I want to hear it.” He cupped her breasts, stroking over the taut tips. “Please bury your cock to the hilt in my slick cunt.” Eaduin smiled as her words grew louder. “I beg you, husband. Fuck me until I can’t walk. Oh God have mercy. Please, Eaduin!” “Yea. That is what I want to hear, sweetling.” He shifted his hips and stroked his shaft into her cunt, groaning as each inch of flesh embedded itself inside her. “Fuck, yes.” Her sheath clasped tight around him as he slid home. Slowly he withdrew then he took her again. “Shall I stop?” “Nay.” Her eyes widened and she reached toward him with her hips, in the only way she could. “Tell me.” “Please don’t stop fucking me. Fill me again. I beg you.” He lunged and withdrew then paused. Waiting again for her request to be taken. He smiled as she obeyed. Begging for him each time until finally his control frayed like worn rope and he set a steady pace for his deep stabs. Drops of sweat fell from his forehead onto her slick shoulder as he fought his orgasm. Eaduin drove her toward her pleasure, withholding his own. He would have a stop word from her. Only then would he allow himself release. Her ability to speak had long ago departed so now she wailed helplessly, her belly undulating with pleasure. He clenched his teeth as her cunt rippled along the length of him as she climaxed, but still he drove on. He reached between them to press against her bud, enjoying her shriek as she shuddered again. “Would you have me stop?” he growled. “Yea. Come too. Please?” He leaned over her, kissing her mouth. “I won’t come until you tell me to stop. Even if I die in the night. Still I will fuck you until you ask me to stop.” “Husband, please?” “A word. All I need is one word from you.” Eaduin kissed her mouth then pressed his lips to her brow, working his cock in and out of her as she was lost in the sensations he forced from her exhausted body. Her

266

Seeking Truth

dazed eyes opened and he looked into the green depths. She opened her mouth, licking her lips. Her breaths expelled in pants as she moved with him. “Mugwort. Oh please. Mugwort. Come and stop at last.” Eaduin nodded, pleased she finally provided him a word with meaning. He thrust hard, fast, taking his pleasure at last. Her cunt grasped him tight as a wet glove while he sped toward his climax. His belly and balls grew tight. He strained. Finally, he let go of his control and gave his seed to his wife. His body was racked with spasms as he shot his cum deep into her, and she sobbed into his shoulder. He collapsed against her, pressing his face into the curve of her neck to kiss the damp flesh. Her salty taste pleased him then he lifted his head, reaching up to brush damp strands of red hair from her brow. “I love you, Vérité. I love you as I have loved no other. As I will love no other.” Her eyes fluttered open, unfocused as she smiled at him. She whispered, “I know.” Eaduin laughed and kissed her again before loosening her bindings and pulling her exhausted body into his arms. He covered them both then embraced her as they drifted into sleep.

267

Francesca Hawley

Chapter Thirty-Seven Vérité leaned over Eaduin, watching him sleep as the dawn light shone through the shutters. He truly was beautiful, though he wouldn’t acknowledge it. Fine brows, wide mouth, firm chin. All combined in such a pleasing manner as to take a woman’s breath away. When combined with his broad shoulders, strong chest and muscled thighs, few men could hope to compete with him. She traced his brows with a fingertip. Yet it wasn’t only his fine form that appealed. His strength, kindness and honor revealed the beauty of his spirit. She marveled that he belonged to her. She, who had never hoped for such happiness or for such a good man. Slowly his eyes drifted open, revealing deep earthy pools of brown. Lovely eyes for a lovely man. Only women should be blessed with such a wealth of eyelashes as he had. He smiled, lifting his hand to caress her cheek. “What does my lady see?” His morning voice was gravelly. Seductive. “I see the man I shall love for the rest of my life.” She kissed him, pleased when he wrapped his arms around her to hold her close. “And I see the only woman who has ever captured my heart.” “You have loved others, husband.” “Yea, but none as I love you. Remember that on this day. However things go.” Vérité opened her mouth to ask if he felt the same sense of foreboding that had woken her, but she was prevented by a knock at the door. “Surely the brothers won’t disturb us?” “Nay. No matter how much they might wish to after last night.” He grinned then called to the door, “Who troubles our morning rest?” “’Tis Godwin with your breakfast. May I enter?” “Yea. Enter, Brother.” “But…” Vérité motioned to the fact they were naked beneath the blankets, but Eaduin merely winked at her. The door swung open and Godwin carried a tray laden with food into the room. Six Benedictine brothers peered in. They blushed furiously when they caught sight of the way Vérité lay upon her lord’s bare chest, her soft shoulders rising from the blankets. Brother Jerome covered his eyes and grabbed the door, slamming it shut. Vérité and Eaduin exchanged a look and laughed. “Go ahead. Laugh at my plight, Brother. Where the devil do I put this down?” Godwin grumbled, looking for an empty surface. “Put it over by the fire…and wait there. My lady and I will cover ourselves.”

268

Seeking Truth

“I’ve seen you nude before, Brother.” “Many times, but not my lady. You’re entirely too interested in seeing her naked flesh.” Godwin grinned. “Such lovely flesh it is too.” He winked at her and Vérité couldn’t hold back the blush that resulted. He went to the fire that was around the corner from the bed. Vérité shook her head but shrieked when Eaduin rolled her to her back to kiss her thoroughly. She wrapped her arms around her husband, enjoying the feel of the smooth skin of his back beneath her fingers then wrapped her legs around his waist as he pressed his hips to the cradle of hers. “Ahem. If I’m not going to be invited to join in, my lord, get thee down here to eat your food while it’s hot.” Vérité turned her head to see Godwin leaning against the stairs that rose to their bed. Watching. A fire similar to Eaduin’s glowing in his eyes. Vérité couldn’t keep her eyes fixed to his and when they dropped, she saw another area wherein he resembled his brother. Though thankfully, Godwin’s hard cock was still in his trews whereas his brother’s cock was pressed insistently against her damp cunt. “Cheeky lad,” Eaduin growled. “I’m the man you made me, Brother.” Godwin licked his lips. “She’s extraordinarily fair.” In the course of Eaduin’s antics, the blankets had fallen away. Though Eaduin covered most of her with his body, she still felt quite vulnerable and open to Godwin’s hungry gaze. Her blush spread from her face to her whole body. Knowing she aroused a man other than her husband excited her and Godwin could see it. “Let me know if you’d ever share her with me, Eaduin. I’d be honored, but in the meantime we must discuss strategy.” Godwin jerked his head toward the food. “And I’m hungry.” “Nothing’s stopping you from eating,” Eaduin grumbled as cupped her buttocks in his hands and gave them a familiar squeeze. “Tsk, tsk. The baron always eats first and now I’ve sworn proper fealty to you, I must take my duties ever more seriously.” Godwin returned to the fire after one last lingering glance at her the curves of her breasts. Eaduin’s cock throbbed against her and she realized he would have enjoyed sharing her with Godwin. She shivered as Eaduin’s gaze met hers, uncertain. “Do you hate me?” he whispered in her ear. “Nay. You want to share me?” “I’ve done so in the past with other women. I never thought… I didn’t love them. I don’t know why…” He shook his head. “I shouldn’t wish to share you.”

269

Francesca Hawley

She smiled at his confusion, strangely touched by it and kissed his cheek. Accepting him. All of him. “After I’m with child, perhaps… I would not want to worry another man had fathered our baby.” Eaduin blinked then broke into a wide grin. “God, how I love you.” He climbed from their bed, grabbing her chemise and handing it to her, whistling happily. She smiled as she took it and pulled it over her head while he stepped into his trews and tugged on his under tunic. Vérité found her under tunic and drew it over her chemise. Eaduin held out his hand to her and she took it to climb down from their bed. They rounded the corner to find Godwin staring at the food with a grumpy expression on his face. “Damn it, Godwin. Why didn’t you eat? You know I’ll not eat much before a fight.” “It’s just now a candlemark past Prime and two until Terce, so you have three hours before battle. You’ll need some food in the interim. Eat, Brother.” Eaduin led her over to chairs around the small table on which Godwin had placed the tray. He aided her to be seated then took a place on the floor at her feet, leaning back against her knees. Godwin raised his brow, shrugged and wordlessly accepted the other chair near the table. “The food is safe?” “Yea. I stood over the staff while they cooked it and it never left my hands.” Godwin’s eyes narrowed. “You expect betrayal today?” “I do. Petrus hasn’t survived all these years without some cunning. After all, he still lives and our sire is dead.” “True.” Godwin frowned, watching Eaduin take some bread and slather a thick layer of butter on it. “Perhaps I should taste for you,” Vérité suggested as she realized her husband suspected poison in his own home. Her belly tightened as she considered all the possibilities. All that might go wrong. Eaduin smiled and held the bread to her mouth. She took a bite, closing her eyes with pleasure as the sweet taste of honey butter filled her mouth. She grabbed a slice of the warm bread and buttered it while she finished chewing the bite Eaduin had given her. “It tastes well.” Then she bit into her own bread. Such a delicacy. Her breakfasts thus far had not been served with honey butter. Perhaps it was Eaduin who rated the special care. “Godwin knows I favor honey butter.” Eaduin grinned as he enjoyed his bread, waving his brother to partake as well. Fresh eggs were accompanied by bacon and porridge sweetened with milk and honey. Vérité poured them each a goblet of warm mulled wine as she sampled the rich breakfast. She and Godwin tasted all the food before allowing Eaduin to partake. But once certain of safety, he ate heartily.

270

Seeking Truth

“Overnight, the practice yard has been prepared for tournament. A pavilion was erected for the king and another for your lady. Out of courtesy, a pavilion was erected for Petrus’ wife, daughter and sons.” “Falc’ will stand with the king,” Vérité said. “Nay, my lady. Falc’ told me this morning when I saw him on my way here that he will stand with you.” Vérité’s throat tightened and she blinked her eyes. Falc’ would make his support public. He was a very good brother indeed, but this talk of preparations brought home what was at stake for all of them. Today, she could lose her husband, and if she did, she would want to die too. And likely would. Eaduin took her cold hand, pressing his lips to her open palm then chafing her cold hand with his warm ones. “Fear not, love.” He turned to his brother. “If things go poorly, get Vérité away from here. Don’t hesitate. If you can’t do it yourself, find someone who will protect her. Falc’ perhaps. Or Alec or Theo.” “I’ll protect her, Eaduin. Though I know I won’t need to for Petrus is no match for you.” “Perhaps not on the battlefield. But I would be certain she is safe, come what may.” “It will be done. My word as a knight, your vassal and your brother.” Eaduin nodded. “It is well then. How did Petrus fare last eve?” An unholy grin spread over her brother-in-law’s face. “Uncomfortably,” he laughed. “Falc’ told me he’d had his father on his knees in prayer most of the night.” “I could grow fond of that man. Those eyes of his are unnerving, but if he stands at your side you have little to fear. No wonder the king trusts him so.” Vérité took a sip of her wine so she wouldn’t be asked any awkward questions about her brother. Falc’s ability to sense the emotions of others made him a valuable ally on so many levels. Praise God, she’d never been forced to betray his secret and she hoped she’d not be asked a question that required truth or lie from her. Eaduin would know if she lied and she didn’t want to damage their relationship by lying. Not now, not ever. She listened quietly as her husband and Godwin discussed the details of the coming battle, fretting she’d forgotten something. Something important. Or somehow something might go wrong. Vérité wished her unease would leave, but she knew it would not. Not until her father was dead and her husband took her back to his bed this night. She noticed a pool of silence in the room around her and looked up to find both men staring at her. “Did you ask me something? Is something wrong?” “What did you say?” Godwin asked her sharply. “Did I say something? I’m sure I did not.” “You did, love. You spoke but two words. Treachery. Murder.”

271

Francesca Hawley

She felt the blood leave her face as she met Eaduin’s gaze, shaking her head. “I said nothing. Truly.” Eaduin traced her pale cheek with his forefinger. “You may not remember it, Vérité, but you said it, notwithstanding.” Vérité closed her eyes. Only twice in her life before now had she ever done such a thing. The first was immediately before her mother died when she knew her mother would die in labor. The other was when her father remarried and she knew she would be sent to the convent. Both times she’d spoken only in Falc’s presence. “God save us,” she whispered. “You speak truth, do you not?” She nodded, attempting to cover her sudden sense of overwhelming terror. She reached for her wine, but her hands shook so dreadfully she dropped them back into her lap. Eaduin pulled her out of her chair and into his arms, cradling her like a child. “All will be well, my love. I’m sure of it.” “We must protect you. Something terrible could happen.” She buried her face in her husband’s neck and wrapped her arms around him. Seeking warmth. Love. Comfort. “Godwin, oversee my weapons personally. Make sure they are undamaged. Test my maille for flaws. Have Falc’ inspect his father’s weapons and armor similarly. Let us prevent anything untoward.” Vérité lifted her head to watch Godwin nod, eyes serious. “It will be done.” He turned toward the door then paused to look back at Eaduin. “I would die for you, Brother. You have but to ask it of me.” Eaduin blinked away tears, when he spoke his voice was thick with emotion. “Thank you, but I won’t ask it of you today.” “I’ll have a bath sent to you and make sure Bronwen has the supervising of it. She will see no treachery touches you there.” “Thank you.” When Godwin left, Eaduin met her gaze. “I shall prevail, love. I promise you. You shall not be forced to endure any ordeal because of my failure on the battlefield.” Vérité hugged him. “It isn’t my safety that plagues me. I fear for yours. My father…he…” “I know. I’ll keep it in mind when I face him. He will answer for his actions against you, Vérité. You have my word as a knight, your lord and your husband.” “I believe you.” Vérité held him tight, thankful to have this time with him before he would face her father in battle.

272

Seeking Truth

Chapter Thirty-Eight Vérité wanted to pace, but to appear uneasy would not be in her husband’s favor. So she sat. Still and composed beneath the pavilion that had been erected for her. Falc’ stood at her side while Godwin aided Eaduin to arm. The clink of metal and the rattle of buckles unnerved her. When Eaduin took out his sword to inspect the blade, its scrape out of the scabbard made her wince. Every sound seemed magnified on this field of death. Even worse, she felt naked. When she’d approached with her bag of medicines, the Benedictine brothers had forcibly taken it from her, despite her contention that as healer she needed the bag to treat injuries. Before her argument with the brothers escalated, Mother Anne had taken the bag into her possession. The Benedictine monks were unhappy but without recourse. For Vérité’s part, she was content for Mother Anne to guard the contents, for the abbess knew their value, even if the brothers did not. Eaduin knelt before her. “Relax, my love. We have checked weapons. Falc’ has searched your father and even your brothers. No treachery may occur. If my only task is to defeat Petrus in battle, the task is done.” Vérité brushed a strand of black hair from his forehead. “I wish you well and God’s speed, husband.” She cleared her throat and swallowed to keep the tears that threatened from falling. Fighting her fear, she offered him a confident face. “Give me your dagger.” His eyes darkened. “My lady, you have no need.” She smiled at him, tapping his cheek with her forefinger. “Fear not, I’ll not commit the sin of killing myself.” He pulled the dagger from its sheath at his waist. She took it into her hands and reached up to where her hair fell long beneath her sheer silk veil. She pulled a thick strand forward and cut it with the dagger before returning the dagger to her husband’s hand. Quickly she braided the hair. Falc’ leaned forward to provide her lacing for the ends so the braid formed a loop. “Thank you, Falc’, I hadn’t thought of that.” Her brother nodded, handing her the favor she’d created. She met Eaduin’s dark gaze. “I give you my favor to carry into battle. May it give you strength and remind you of my deep, abiding love and respect for you.” A single tear ran down his cheek and she kissed it away. “Finish him quickly and come back to me.” “I will, my lady.” Eaduin took the favor and tied it to his belt, stroking the red hair as if she’d gifted him with gold. “I take this favor as a promise of my undying love and fidelity to you.”

273

Francesca Hawley

He kissed her and rose. Eaduin met her gaze for a few minutes longer, his eyes saying what words could not, then returned to Godwin and the business of battle. Isolda slipped onto the bench at her side. “You really love him, don’t you?” Vérité sighed. She didn’t need this young lady’s disapproval today of all days. “I do. I will love him until I die.” Finally Vérité met the dark gaze of her lord’s child, pleased and surprised to see approval in Isolda’s expression. “I’m happy for him.” She bit her lip, looking away uncertainly. “I was jealous. Nanna explained it to me but I didn’t want to believe it. He’s my father, not my husband, you see. It is wrong to feel such jealousy.” Vérité took the younger woman’s hand. “Nay. It isn’t wrong. It means you love him and I know he loves you.” Vérité looked across the field to where her father whispered with her younger brothers Raulf and Serlo. Petrus always hated her and always would. “I wish my father had held me in as much esteem and care as yours holds you, but he doesn’t. There’s an end to it. So instead, I sit in seeming serenity to watch my husband kill my father. Such a day this is.” Isolda patted her shoulder awkwardly. “I’m sorry.” Vérité smiled. “I am too.” She took a deep breath. “But I am glad you are able to accept me in your father’s life. I promise you, I will be a good wife to him.” Isolda nodded. “I believe it now. I believe you now. Pray forgive me for my past suspicions.” Vérité nodded and the two women embraced then settled to await the combat. Eaduin hid a smile as the two most important women in his life made peace. Praise God. He feared Isolda might never accept his new wife, but it seems she had and he could only be content. He met Godwin’s gaze, catching his brother’s wink. “You saw, Eaduin?” “Yea. It is well.” Eaduin studied the field, looking for rough spots. Anything Petrus might use to trip him up. “You’ve taken good care of the field.” “Thank you, Brother. Your life depended on it. I could do no less.” He slapped Godwin on the shoulder. “I will prevail, but I want to thank you for being my friend. Your friendship has made life bearable.” Godwin looked down at the tips of his boots, color rising in his cheeks. “I could say the same. I’ve been honored by your trust.” Eaduin nodded, once more testing his armor then running in place to displace his pre-battle tenseness. He was ready for the fight to commence. When would the king arrive so they could end the waiting? He felt an unfamiliar presence and turned to find Falc’ beside him. “Have you ever fought beside or against my father?” “Nay.”

274

Seeking Truth

Falc’ nodded. “I thought not. Beware the unexpected stroke for he’s fond of pulling a dagger in the midst of a fight. He fights akin to a cornered rat. Throwing dirt in eyes. Tripping. Going for the back. Whatever might give him advantage. Don’t underestimate him because of his age.” “Thank you. I’ll keep your words in mind.” Eaduin paused as Falc’ turned away. Even though no love was lost between father and son, still Eaduin regretted being the instrument of Petrus’ death. He set his hand on his brother-in-law’s arm to draw Falc’s attention back to him. He bit his lip for a moment before meeting the other man’s unsettling eyes. “Forgive me for killing your sire. It isn’t my wish, but it must be done.” Falc’ looked across the field to where his father stood, scowling at them. “You are forgiven. Sometimes a sick animal simply must be put down. Today is such a time. I’m strangely relieved it won’t be my task to end his life, and for that I’m grateful to you. Good luck and good fighting.” As Falc’ faded back to his sister’s side, horns sounded, heralding the approach of the king and queen onto the field. Eaduin bowed to the Crown and waited for them to be seated on their thrones within their pavilion. King Stephen’s face registered serenity as he seated the queen then took his place, but Eaduin noticed the royal guards seemed to be on high alert. The king’s herald stepped forward to address the crowd. “The king invites you to take your ease.” While the crowds seated themselves, Eaduin performed one last check of his armor and weapons. He hefted his shield and as he took his helm from Godwin, he looked into his brother’s face. Utter confidence shone from Godwin, which eased Eaduin and gave him hope. His brother believed in him and his abilities. He straightened. God would lend him strength. He would defeat his father-in-law. “The Crown commands the day’s combatants to approach.” Eaduin strode to the center of the ground to meet Petrus. Together the men turned to face the Crown, bowing and moving forward at a measured pace. Such battles always began with formality, pageantry even, before they devolved into savagery. Eaduin knelt in front of his liege, glancing sideways as Petrus settled beside him. The older man’s face reflected a false piety and humility—petit ver indeed. A worm who would crawl where needed in order to gain his objective. Today his objective was to deflect his own guilt onto his daughter, but Eaduin wouldn’t allow it. He met the gaze of first the queen then the king, both of whom looked upon him with trust. They expected him to make it right, and he would. The king raised his hands and the field grew eerily silent, save for the sound of the morning breeze catching the standards so they snapped in the wind. “My subjects…today will a wrong be righted…decided by the will of God. Baron Eaduin Kempe claims insult from Lord Petrus de Sauigni for his charge of witchcraft against Kempe’s Lady. Lord Petrus, will you retract your accusation and offer apology thus ending this battle before it begins?”

275

Francesca Hawley

“Nay, Your Grace. Vérité Kempe is a witch. I know it to be true and today God will lend me the strength to prove it.” “Baron Kempe, do you maintain your lady’s innocence?” “I do, Your Grace. My lady’s father seeks to turn your wrath from his treasonous actions by this false accusation against my lady wife. She is innocent of the charges he makes against her. By God’s grace, I will prove it on his body.” The king nodded and stood. “Both parties being unwilling to set aside their dispute, We order the battle to go forward. The outcome of this wager of battel will answer all charges. Should Kempe defeat de Sauigni then his lady is found innocent of the accusation against her. Should de Sauigni win then the lady is deemed a witch.” The king turned to the priest. “Father, please bless the combatants and beg for God to show us who lies and who tells the truth.” Eaduin bowed his head when the priest began to intone a sonorous prayer. The priest’s words faded as his own prayer to the deity superseded it. Dear God, I beg you to grant me strength to protect this woman whom I love more than life itself. Guide me to end her father’s life quickly and with mercy. Allow me to triumph with dignity and honor. In Your name I pray. Amen. Eaduin and the priest completed their prayers at the same time, which allowed him to cross himself with the rest of those present. He looked up at the king. A brief nod of approval was all he granted, but it was enough. “My lords, please arm and move to the center of the field. At Our command, combat will commence.” Eaduin pulled on his helm, adjusting the chin strap then took up his shield. The king waved the men to rise and they began the walk onto the field of battle. He strode a step or two ahead of Petrus toward the center of the field, eager to end this. He glanced over to his lady and as if a single moment in time was suspended, he caught the shift in her face from serenity to horror. That was all the warning he had, but it was enough. He half turned, lifting his shield to take the blow he knew was aimed at his back. His shield arm shook beneath the force of the blow but the heater caught and held. Eaduin unsheathed his sword and struck back immediately. The resulting clang as the swords met rang like a church bell sadly out of tune. Petrus may be old, but Eaduin could feel the solidity of the second shot all the way to his shoulder. This would be no easy win for either of them. Eaduin pushed Petrus off him, backing up to get some room between them. “May I commence, Your Grace?” Eaduin called to the king without taking his eyes from Petrus’ enraged face. “It is perhaps a bit late to grant permission, my lord. But yea, you may begin.” The king’s growl told Eaduin all he needed to know about the His Grace’s disgust at Petrus’ lack of honor. If Petrus survived, he was not long for this world for the king would end him and Eaduin was glad of it.

276

Seeking Truth

Chapter Thirty-Nine “My lady, I would be most grateful if you would release my arm.” Vérité blinked then glanced down at where she clutched Godwin’s forearm. Had he not been wearing a woolen tunic her nails would have sliced deeply. She winced in sympathy, retracting her hold. “Forgive me,” she whispered. “Forgiven.” Her gaze returned to where her husband faced off against her father. The two men circled each other, trying to better their position on the field. As the sun rose above the battlements to flood the field with light, Eaduin took advantage of the older man’s wince to strike at Petrus. Though startled by both the light and the blow, her father met it, parrying strongly to move closer to Eaduin. “Nay, don’t let him close,” Falc’ murmured, his hands clenched. As if he heard, Eaduin retreated a few steps before thrusting forward with a volley of shots against Petrus. Petrus answered, meeting blow for blow. Vérité shivered with each metallic clang of the blades. She wanted to cover her ears and close her eyes so she didn’t have to bear witness, but she could no more do that than she could run away. Though most people watched the two men who fought, there were others who watched her. She briefly closed her eyes as sword met shield then reopened her eyes to find herself staring into Sister Berthe’s gaze. The nun stood silently across the field, resembling a crow waiting to pick at a corpse. Hatred twisted her face. Vérité tore her gaze away, returning it to the field of battle. Eaduin lifted his shield, catching a blow from Petrus upon it. He pushed forward to strike his own blow at her father. Her eyes swept the field and found the queen’s gaze. Kind…gentle. She understood how difficult this was for Vérité and she sympathized. Vérité smiled slightly, nodding her head at the queen before her gaze moved onward. Some people smiled, some frowned, yet the battle raged on. She couldn’t close her ears to the fight so Vérité once again watched the men. Petrus moved close to batter Eaduin with his shield then tripped her husband. Eaduin landed awkwardly. When Petrus slashed downward, Vérité was certain Eaduin would be cut, but he rolled to one side and leaped to his feet. Almost in one motion he took the fight back to Petrus, backing him across the field. Hard, vicious blows rained down on her father, but somehow he held Eaduin off. The men grunted in their efforts, dancing across the field as they sought each other’s deaths. Their blades reverberated as they clashed. Striking forward…retreating

277

Francesca Hawley

backward. The fine steel blades glinted in the sunlight, nearly blinding her as they intermittently caught the sun’s rays. Blow after blow fell, so fast she could barely follow them. She gasped when one blade no longer shone clean. Blood. Her eyes studied each man frantically. Who had been struck? Why hadn’t she been watching more closely? Pray God it was not Eaduin. Her husband grimaced as he fought, but so did her father. Both blades were now stained with blood and still she couldn’t see where each man had been struck. Vérité clenched her fists in her lap. Dear God in Heaven, she prayed, guard my husband as he protects me. Watch over him that we may have many tomorrows together. Give to him the strength he needs to defeat his foe, my father. In your name, I pray. Amen. “Vérité! There is trouble!” Eirene hissed in her ear, grasping her shoulder. “Of course. Look at the way they fight!” Vérité turned to where Eirene pushed herself between Vérité and Godwin. “Nay. Your father has tainted one of his blades.” Falc’ leaned close. “How do you know this? I saw nothing amiss when I examined the blades.” Eirene looked away from him to meet Vérité’s gaze. She opened her hand to show an empty bottle from the stillroom. Vérité took it with a frown. It wasn’t labeled so she uncapped the bottle to sniff. God in Heaven…mugwort oil. Her eyes flew up to Eirene’s. “Are you certain of this?” “Yea. Your brother Raulf secured it for him from the stillroom and they anointed his dagger just before he took the field.” “Raulf must have obtained it during the night,” Falc’ growled. “How?” Eirene challenged. “He left the chapel to take a piss outside,” he groaned. “What kind of poison is this?” “Mugwort is no poison to you or I, but it could kill my brother.” “I wish one of you would have told me of Eaduin’s antipathy.” “I didn’t think of it, but I should have.” Vérité clasped the empty bottle in her hand and looked back out to the fight. Her father had within his hands the power to poison Eaduin, and Eaduin alone due to his antipathy to mugwort. Yet there was nothing she could do to prevent it. For even if Eaduin won the fight, her father could still strike him down. She would lose her love, and if she did, she would want to die herself. Her life was over. “All is not lost,” Eirene admonished her. “How can it not be? The Benedictines took my medical bag from me as I entered the field. It was my only supply of the antidote.”

278

Seeking Truth

***** Eaduin smiled as he watched Petrus’ shield dip lower and lower, pleased to see the older man was tiring. Unfortunately, he was too. And they were both bloodied. Petrus had caught him just above his maille leggings and his hip ached with the cut. Thank God it had been a glancing blow or he would have been done for. Eaduin had the better blow, for he’d sliced the arm with which Petrus held his shield. It was not only tiredness that lowered Petrus’ shield. Pain and blood loss weakened the older man too. Each time he fought to lift the shield higher, he winced and his distraction was welcome. Petrus struck forward, his sword connecting with Eaduin’s shield. But it hadn’t been that blow Petrus sought. The older man brought the edge of his shield in and struck Eaduin’s wounded hip, sending him to his knees. He groaned as a searing pain shot down his leg and up his torso at the same moment. As he fell to the side, Petrus kicked him directly in his wounded hip. Eaduin rolled away, losing his shield as he moved. Damn. He rose to his feet awkwardly, his sword held in front of him. Petrus kicked the shield well away, a wicked smile on his mouth. “Not so high and mighty now, are ye, Kempe?” “Is your blood warm, old man? I’ll soon show you more of it.” Eaduin put the pain out of his mind and focused entirely on Petrus’ eyes. He’d let himself look for the obvious blow instead of the desired one. It wouldn’t happen again. He limped back and drew his long dagger. He went for Petrus with a flurry of blows. He stayed near Petrus’ shield arm, forcing him to use it repeatedly by raining blow upon blow on the weakened arm. Still Petrus clung doggedly to his shield. Though Petrus tried to strike blows at Eaduin, he remained firmly behind the older man’s shield arm. Eaduin battered the arm, working to exhaust Petrus. Had the older man any sense and less stubbornness, he’d cast his shield away. But he clung to it like a child clings to a favored toy. Finally the shield lowered just enough and Eaduin got the opening he’d fought for. Cutting deeply into the same arm, he incapacitated it so the arm hung uselessly at Petrus’ side. Petrus released his shield and it fell at his feet. He held his sword out in front of him and ran at Eaduin. Eaduin tripped backward, but caught himself before he fell to the ground, just barely countering Petrus’ fierce and frantic thrust. Now Petrus used his own techniques against him, running him from one end of the field to the other. Forcing him to spin to catch blows that seemed aimed at him from all quarters. Petrus laughed as his limp grew more pronounced the longer they fought. Eaduin gritted his teeth. He may lack footwork, but he had both arms and by damned he’d use them. Eaduin moved close. Feinting with his sword, he struck with the long dagger for Petrus’ side. Petrus slipped away, but not far enough. The dagger tip nipped through

279

Francesca Hawley

his maille and cut into Petrus’ side. Not deeply but enough for him to feel the bite and back away. “God doesn’t favor liars, old man,” Eaduin growled. “God doesn’t favor sinners, either,” Petrus hissed. “Then you’re doubly damned in His Eyes, for let he who is without sin cast the first stone!” Eaduin thrust his sword at Petrus’ torso, shocked when the other man didn’t counter the blow. Petrus’ eyes widened as the sword slid between his lower ribs. Eaduin continued the forward momentum until the sword rested with its hilt against Petrus’ abdomen at an upward angle. For just a moment they stood face-to-face in the aftershock of the blow. Petrus’ sword dropped from his hand. “And the last…” Petrus smiled. Eaduin frowned at him. Suddenly his cheek burned with pain. He stepped back, releasing the sword embedded in Petrus’ body, watching as the man crumpled to the ground, a dagger in his hand. Eaduin’s hand reached up to his cheek. Why the devil hadn’t Petrus thrust the blade through his ribs? Why his face? He stared down at Petrus’ staring, blank eyes then felt an itching in his throat. His tongue felt thick and his eyes began to water. What was happening to him? Something was horribly wrong. He knelt, grabbing the dagger from Petrus’ hand to sniff the blade. He cast it aside in disgust. It had been tainted with mugwort. Osweald must have told Petrus about his aversion to the herb at some point and it was certainly no secret here in the keep. Eaduin knew he must have the king’s decision before he died. Vérité must be found innocent. Eaduin staggered to the king, dropping to his knees before him. “Your Grath.” Eaduin fought his mouth, barely able to speak. “My lathy ith innothent.” The king frowned at him. “What?” “Inn-o-centh.” Eaduin gasped, trying to catch his breath. It would take him quickly now. He must have the king’s word. “Yea, your lady is innocent of all charges. You have defeated de Sauigni.” “Thank you…” Eaduin nodded. Praise God, she was safe. With that thought, darkness took him.

280

Seeking Truth

Chapter Forty “Nay!” Vérité screamed as Eaduin collapsed to the ground. She leaped to her feet and ran across the field. “Mother, toss me the bag. I must have the contents to treat him.” Mother Anne rose from where she sat amongst the Benedictine brothers to throw the bag to Vérité, but Sister Berthe stepped in front of her. “If he dies, it is God’s will. Let him die!” cried Sister Berthe who grabbed the bag from Mother Anne and ran toward the castle. “Catch her!” Vérité screamed, pointing at the fleeing nun. “It’s God’s will,” Brother Jerome intoned. The monks let Berthe run away with the only medicine that could save Eaduin while they restrained Mother Anne. “God’s will?” Vérité ran to her father, grabbing the blade and sniffing it. “This weapon is tainted with mugwort, an herb which all who live here know is deadly to my lord. Thus it is treachery, not God’s will.” She knelt to stab the tainted blade into her father’s unmoving chest. “May God have mercy upon you, petit ver, little though you deserve it.” She turned to stare at her husband, falling to her knees beside his body. She couldn’t save him! Tears streaked her cheeks and she screamed with pain. Eaduin would die. Eirene caught her and shook her. “Your bag didn’t hold the only supply.” She handed Vérité a bottle and Vérité looked at it. “The antidote?” “Yea.” Vérité clutched it, crawling closer to her husband. Kneeling at his side, she prayed she wasn’t too late. With trembling hands she opened the bottle, drawing out the glass dropper. She pried open his mouth and set a drop on his tongue. Nothing. He wheezed painfully, his tongue swelling almost as she watched. Vérité placed another drop of the oil on his tongue. Did his breathing seem easier? Was it just her prayers? She set yet another drop on his tongue. This time, she could see his breathing ease. His tongue seemed less swollen. Should she give him more or wait? She’d never treated him for this before and had no idea what she should see if this worked. “Wait a few moments before giving him more. The antidote can be as dangerous as any of the medicines you gave to Mother,” Eirene murmured, rubbing her forehead with a wince.

281

Francesca Hawley

Vérité nodded, looking at the angry wound on his cheek. His skin was reacting to the mugwort that lined the cut on his face. “Wine. Give me wine and cloths to wash his wound!” Eirene ran for supplies. “My lady, what happened to him?” Vérité looked up into the king’s concerned face and took a deep breath. “My lord has a serious aversion to mugwort, Your Grace. Small amounts make him ill. My father stole mugwort oil, the strongest concentration of the herb, from my stillroom. Then he coated his dagger blade with it. Just as he died, he used the tainted blade to wound my husband, knowing it would kill Eaduin.” “Then why is he not dead? Is this magic?” “Nay, Your Grace.” Vérité’s breath caught in her throat. She could not be accused of witchcraft just when her husband championed her innocence. She would not allow it. “This is no magic, it is healing. A healing that anyone with knowledge of herbs might effect.” “I’ve never heard of such an herb that might help someone in this way.” “My lord’s mother suffered the same antipathy and it has long been a family trait. Many years ago, her family discovered an herb from the Far East that could treat the deadly effects. When she married Osweald, a plant was sent here with her and it grows in our gardens. As a youth, Eaduin nearly died from mugwort poisoning. Thus the plant has been carefully guarded and cultivated against need such as this.” Eirene knelt again at Vérité’s side, handing her wine and linen cloths. Vérité poured wine over his wounded face, abrading the ragged edges of the injury with the cloth. She must remove all trace of the mugwort. Eaduin flinched. Praise God, his senses were returning. Vérité opened his mouth, concerned because his tongue remained swollen. “Should I give him more?” “Perhaps one drop more. Mother said three drops should be sufficient, but he’d never been dosed with mugwort oil before. His mouth still shows the effects of the poisoning.” Eirene rested her hand on her brother’s forehead. “I’ve only seen him suffer from this once and it was nowhere near this severe.” “Open his mouth for me.” Eirene pulled his mouth open and Vérité carefully put one drop more onto his tongue. Immediately, his breathing eased. Her eyes stung and tears began to fall. Her own breathing eased along with his. “Oh praise God…praise God.” Vérité began to laugh weakly. She leaned forward to kiss his unmarred cheek then lay her head on his chest. She fought her fear and her relief, but finally it overwhelmed her. Vérité shook with sobs as she clung to her husband. He would live. Eaduin would live. “My lady, are you dithappointed in me?”

282

Seeking Truth

Vérité froze. She barely recognized his voice, but it was Eaduin. She lifted her head and looked down into his eyes. They were red and swollen from the mugwort but sense shone from them. “Disappointed? How could you think it? You are the bravest knight I’ve ever beheld. Oh my love.” She placed a gentle kiss on his mouth then lifted her head to stare into his eyes. He smiled. “I’ve proved your innothence.” “You have. No one could have done better.” “Will he live?” Vérité looked up at the king. “He will, Your Grace. A long and happy life…with me and our children.” “Then it is well.” The king nodded. “Very well,” Eaduin agreed.

***** “I’m perfectly fine, woman. Let me out of this bed!” Eaduin glared up at his wife where she stood beside their bed. For more than a week he’d been lying here. He was growing painfully restless. Each time he’d tried to dress, she pushed him back into the bed. If she would join him, he wouldn’t be so concerned, but she slept on a pallet beside their bed instead of at his side. He wanted to make love to her, but her fear for his health prevented it. He’d go mad soon. He shifted in bed, disturbed by how weak he still felt. He needed to rise and be about his duties, but Vérité repeatedly forced him back into bed. If she didn’t compel him herself, she asked Godwin or Falc’ to bundle him into bed as one would an unruly child. Both men seemed only too willing to accommodate her wishes, laughing at his predicament. “Eaduin Kempe, you will not get out of bed until I’m certain you are no longer tainted by the mugwort. Not one foot will you set upon the floor.” Vérité shook her finger in his face. She fluffed the pillows that rested behind his back then turned to stride down from his bedside to the floor of the chamber. She smelled of lavender and he wanted to pull her onto his lap to bury his face in her hair. “I prefer you obedient and bound to our bed,” he growled. He smiled when she turned abruptly around to glare at him, a bloom rising in her cheeks. Contrary wench. “Only when we make love, Eaduin. Outside the bed, I’m your healer.” He watched his lady busy herself around the room. Eaduin was definitely feeling more himself for when she bent over, he wanted to grasp her bottom in his hands for a sound spanking. He licked his lips as he stared at her rounded arse. His fingertips itched with the desire to touch. He groaned and shifted as he started to get hard. The more he watched her, the harder he got. 283

Francesca Hawley

Damn it. He must rise from his bed. Not just so he could fuck his wife again. Nay, the king would be leaving shortly and he must bid Stephen a proper farewell. Not only did he need to pay his respects to the king, but it was important for the other lords to see him healthy. Unfortunately, Vérité was obdurate. “Vérité, I must not appear weak.” “Why?” She turned to glower at him, setting her hands on her hips. “If the others think I’m weak, they might seek to attack me.” She pursed her lips then climbed the stairs up to the bed. Vérité sat at his side and took his hands. “I nearly lost you, Eaduin.” “I know, sweetling.” “No, you don’t. If you die, I don’t want to live. I’ve never felt so frightened and vulnerable in all my life.” Eaduin blinked, moved by her words. He turned her chin upward so she met his gaze. “I won’t leave you. I will guard you always.” “You must be well.” “I’m well enough. If I lay in bed too long, my strength will fail me. I must regain what was taken from me.” A knock at the door prevented her response. He called, “Yea, who knocks?” The door was pushed open by Godwin. He bowed and King Stephen entered the chamber, followed by Falc’. Falc’ de Sauigni glared at Stephen’s back, looking for all the world as though he wished to kill his king. Godwin leaned into the hall to drag Eirene into the room. She glared at her older brother before following sullenly as though she walked to the gallows. The strange procession wound its way up to his bed. Vérité rose and curtseyed to the king, but she pressed Eaduin’s shoulder so he wouldn’t rise. He growled at his wife, but bowed to the king as much as he was able. “Baron Kempe, I have tarried here longer than I should to verify you would recover. I must leave tomorrow for I’ve word of enemy activity to the west. Since you have been unable to attend court…” “Pray forgive me, Your Grace…” The king waved his hand. “No apology is necessary. Your lady explained to me you needed time to regain your strength.” Eaduin frowned at Vérité, who blushed. “I appreciate your indulgence, Your Grace.” “There are some items of business that must be attended before I leave. First, Lord Godwin, I charge you to take such men as your brother can spare to your service. Travel to Draiton Keep and assume your place as lord. Draiton Keep and its environs must be secured.” “It shall be as you require,” Eaduin assured the king, winking at his brother who bowed to the king. He would offer Godwin all the support he could muster. 284

Seeking Truth

The king turned to Falc’ and set his hand on the other man’s shoulder. “I’ve already elevated you to baron in your father’s place. But now I must release you as my champion and charge you to go northwest ahead of my forces to secure your father’s lands. I know the task I charge you with is difficult for you must travel through enemy territory to reach your new home.” Falc’ knelt. “I don’t wish to leave your side, my king. I would follow you unto death if you ask me.” “I know. I don’t wish to lose you, Falc’, for you are one of the few men whose honesty is unquestioned, but I need your service to take a different form now. You must take up a new role. But…I don’t wish you to take it alone.” King Stephen turned to Eaduin. “I wish to send with him a wife.” Eaduin looked down at Eirene and his throat closed. He couldn’t imagine his younger sister leaving her home to travel with Falc’. He would trust his own life to de Sauigni, but his sister? Could he trust her and her life with him? “You seek to wed him to Eirene?” “It would be a good match for them both. Another tie between your families.” “But a woman should not travel so dangerous a journey,” Falc’ argued, rising to his feet. “Perhaps not, but a man and woman…husband and wife…will attract far less attention than a single warrior traveling alone through such territory.” “I can move faster alone.” “If de Sauigni doesn’t wish the marriage, I will not allow my sister to marry him. Not even at your request, Your Grace. I will not have her unhappy.” “And he should marry a local woman,” Eirene interjected. “A local woman? A woman whose father may be loyal to Maud? Nay, my lady. I would have both a lord and lady who are loyal.” Eirene frowned at Falc’ and he at her. Though they frowned, Eaduin could see the attraction simmering between them. He’d seen such desire before. Felt it, unwillingly his eyes were drawn to Vérité and he smiled, enjoying the blush that lit her cheeks. He turned back to look at his sister and Eirene glared at him. He smiled gently. She blushed then looked at her toes, for she knew his thoughts. “Falc’ will you take my sister and treat her with the same care you’ve always shown to your own sister? Will you shelter her? Care for her? Protect her?” Falc’s gaze settled upon Eirene and his face gentled. “Yea. If she is willing to marry me, but the travel will be hard. We have a long way to go.” Eirene peeped up at him then shrugged. “If you are willing to be my husband, I will accept. I can travel if I must for I’m no pampered lady. I’ve worked here in my brother’s home.” “Then it is decided,” the king stated. “This afternoon the two of you will be married and this evening will be a wedding feast. Tomorrow at dawn, the two of you will leave 285

Francesca Hawley

for your new keep while I get my army moving. Godwin, as soon as may be, you will travel to Draiton Keep to take up your new role.” The king strode from the room, leaving stunned silence in his wake. Vérité plopped down to sit beside Eaduin and he pulled her close. His brother and sister would make their own way now, but he still had Vérité. Praise God. She looked up at him and he brushed a strand of hair off her cheek. “I think I’m well enough to have you share my bed again, lady wife,” he whispered. She shivered, smiling softly up at him while she traced his scarred cheek with her fingertip. “I think you are too, Eaduin. I love you.” “And I you.” He leaned down to kiss his lady, thankful to have her in his life…now and forever more.

286

About the Author I earned a Master of Arts in Library and Information Science in 2003 and work as a librarian in central Iowa. I’m a member of Romance Writers of America, including multiple special interest chapters. Even in my teens I wrote romances, spending my lunch hours with pen, paper and characters. I love to weave new tales by embroidering and knitting intriguing narratives for the amusement of myself, my friends and my readers. My writer’s mission statement is to write about exciting, sensual, plus-size heroines who love and are loved by their intense, passionate and seductive Alpha heroes. Why create a mission statement, other than because I’m a librarian and it’s something we tend to do? Because I’ve been plus-size all my life and I don’t know how to be anything else. When I started reading romances, almost every heroine had a slender, girlish figure. If she didn’t start out that way, she ended up that way. Plain or pretty, the heroine was thin. I loved those stories and their writers, but I tired of not seeing me in the heroines of my favorite books. As I started writing, I followed market trends and wrote about slender heroines. Then I thought, am I part of the market? Yes. I am. There must be other readers who want to read about a differently shaped heroine too. Everyone deserves to find love. So now, I write about plus-size heroines who know, or learn, how to live in their skins. My heroines are authentic and that’s part of the reason my intense, passionate and seductive Alpha heroes love them. I hope you will too. The author welcomes comments from readers. You can find her website and e-mail address on her author bio page at www.ellorascave.com.

Tell Us What You Think We appreciate hearing reader opinions about our books. You can e-mail us at [email protected].

Also by Francesca Hawley Protect and Defend

Discover for yourself why readers can’t get enough of the multiple award-winning publisher Ellora’s Cave. Whether you prefer e-books or paperbacks, be sure to visit EC on the web at www.ellorascave.com for an erotic reading experience that will leave you breathless.

www.ellorascave.com