RyanField AmericanStar

American Star by Ryan Field Ravenous Romance www.ravenousromance.com Copyright ©2009 by Ryan Field First published in...

Author: Field Ryan

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American Star by Ryan Field

Ravenous Romance www.ravenousromance.com

Copyright ©2009 by Ryan Field First published in 2009, 2009 NOTICE: This eBook is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution to any person via email, floppy disk, network, print out, or any other means is a violation of International copyright law and subjects the violator to severe fines and/or imprisonment. This notice overrides the Adobe Reader permissions which are erroneous. This eBook cannot be legally lent or given to others. This eBook is displayed using 100% recycled electrons.

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CONTENTS Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter

One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen ****

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American Star A Ravenous Romance™ Panamour™ Original Publication Ryan Field

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A Ravenous Romance™ Panamour™ Original Publication www.ravenousromance.com American Star Copyright © 2009 by Ryan Field Ravenous Romance™ 100 Cummings Center Suite 125G Beverly, MA 01915 All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher, except by reviewers who may quote brief excerpts in connection with a review. ISBN-13: 978-1-60777-110-4 This book is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

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Chapter One The day Terrence decided he was going to audition for a new TV reality show, he was reading the newspaper in the tanning salon where he worked as manager. It was a warm, humid Friday morning in late August, and it was exactly one year to the day since he'd buried his mother. The newspaper advertisement for the audition said all that was required was to show up at a hotel in New York City and sing. And that was one of the two things in life Terrence knew how to do well. The other thing involved dropping his pants. Then the front door opened wide and an attractive young man stepped into the waiting area—Terrence's boss. He was wearing loose white hockey shorts and his large penis bounced up and down as he crossed toward the counter. He never wore underwear. His name was Kevin and he'd been Terrence's boyfriend since high school. It was clear he wasn't having a very good day so far. His short blond hair was messy on top, there were dark circles under his eyes, and his skin looked pale. When he saw the open newspaper on the counter, he slammed a blue bank deposit bag on top of it and said, "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you." Terrence slowly folded the newspaper and sighed. But he didn't reply. Kevin's silence suggested Terrence had been slacking off that morning because he'd been reading. "Must be interesting," Kevin finally said. He looked down at the newspaper with steel blue eyes and placed his hands on 6


his hips. Then he spread his muscular legs and started rocking on the balls of his feet. "It's nothing important," Terrence said, rolling his eyes. He didn't want to tell Kevin about the the audition. His boss would have given a million reasons why he thought he shouldn't do the show, from his lack of talent to the fact that reality television was a passing phase and wouldn't last. Even though Kevin secretly loved reality television, he couldn't wait for an open opportunity to knock Terrence down. Terrence knew full well that Kevin had sent in audition tapes and entry forms to shows like "Big Brother" and "The Bachelor." But he'd always been rejected. "Don't give me your shit this morning, bitch," Kevin said, slamming the palm of his wide hand on the counter. There were deep, dark circles under his eyes and his breath smelled of stale beer. Terrence to jumped. He pressed his palm to his throat and said, "I'm not giving you attitude, Kevin. I'm just not in a great mood this morning." But it was beginning to occur to him that whenever Kevin walked into a room, his heart started to race and his mouth felt dry. "Oh, that time of the month again," Kevin said, then raised his arms as though being held at gunpoint. "I'm getting sick and tired of this bullshit. Take a pill, bitch." He slammed both great hands on the counter. Kevin loved to refer to Terrance as the feminine type; a moody "girl" with imagined monthly periods. Terrence wasn't the least bit feminine. He had short dark hair, was average in height and had a slim, well-defined body. His legs were smooth and strong and his ass rounded 7


like a beach ball. If anyone saw him walking down the street, they wouldn't even know he was gay. But Kevin took pleasure in having him come across as prissy; as though his being effeminate would make Kevin more of a man somehow. "I'm just not in a great mood, is all," Terrence replied, in a slow, worn-out voice. "I don't have time for your moody, faggot shit now," Kevin said. Then he lowered his eyebrows, and smiled. "I only stopped in to make a deposit. But I'm glad I did, because it looks like there's something else I should take care of now while I'm here." He stepped back and grabbed his dick, then he shook a handful of cock and balls a couple of times in Terrence's direction. He believed that his dick could cure anything wrong with Terrence. "I'm not in the mood for that, Kevin. Put that big, ugly thing back inside your pants," Terrence said. But when he looked down and saw Kevin holding his dick, his eyes became wide and he pressed his palms hard against the counter. "Besides, anyone could come in and catch us." He saw the glazed look in Kevin's eyes that he always had when he was really horny. Kevin smiled and spread his legs wider, then yanked the waistband of his shorts down and pulled out his dick. It was already semi-erect, swinging back and forth. "You know you want it. You like dick. You'll be in a much better mood after you get fucked, bitch." Terrence sighed and wet his lips. Kevin talked to him like this all the time. It wasn't just playful dirty talk that only happened during sex; it was the real thing. He was a rough, 8


football-player type, with six-pack abs and biceps that bulged and rounded. He drank beer with his buddies, spit on the sidewalk and hung out in dreary bars playing pool. He was a dangerous, sexual dream man with a dick of death that could make Terrence's palms sweat and his knees go weak—the perfect stud if Terrence overlooked his immaturity. And the extra toe on his right foot. So Terrence stood up, crossed the waiting area, and locked the front door. Then he turned the sign around so it read "closed" and pulled down the door shade. "Go behind the counter, take off your clothes and bend over," Kevin said. He was leaning back and still tugging his meaty dick; it was almost a full eight inches now. He obeyed without an argument. Partly because he didn't want to argue that morning, and partly because he hadn't been fucked in a couple of days. When he was behind the counter, he kicked off his shoes, slipped out of his jeans and pulled off his shirt. He wasn't wearing socks that day. Even though it was nearly one hundred degrees outside, the white tiled floor felt ice cold against his bare feet. Kevin lowered his eyebrows and sneered, then reached into his back pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a plastic lighter. He put one in his mouth and lit it. He'd always been a social smoker, but never more than a pack a week. The desire to smoke during sex was just his latest fetish. Terrence sighed and leaned forward against the counter on his elbows so Kevin could walk up from behind and mount him quickly. Terrence had never been a smoker, and didn't like cigarette smoke in general, but his heart did start to beat 9


a little faster at the thought of a big, strong guy slamming his ass while smoking. Besides, he knew this new fetish would probably fade away like so many of Kevin's past kinks. He'd gone through a period where he'd worn cock rings, but that had only lasted a few months. And then there was that sixmonth span when he'd insisted Terrence wear a baseball cap during sex. So Terrence spread his legs, stood on his tiptoes, and sighed again; he been through it all before with Kevin. With a cigarette hanging from the side of his mouth, Kevin crossed behind the counter and grabbed both sides of Terrence's ass so hard, his thick fingers dug into Terrence's hip bones. His dick was still hanging out of his shorts; he didn't bother to remove them. "Hand me the lotion," he said. Terrence reached across the counter for a bottle of tanning lotion that resembled soft yellow butter and smelled like bananas and watermelon. He would have preferred a less pungent lube—his ass would smell like bananas and watermelon for hours—but Kevin liked fragrant, creamy lotions on his dick instead of clear lube. When his dick was all wet and ready to go, he pressed his left palm on the back of Terrence's head and pushed him forward rough and hard so the side of his face was against the orange counter top. Then Kevin grabbed his dick with his right hand, pointed the tip directly into Terrance's pink hole and circled the opening. "What do you want now?" he asked. Terrence closed his eyes and took a shallow breath. "I want your big dick," he said "Fuck me with your big, hard cock, Sir." They had been together since high school—forever, it seemed—and had never used condoms. But, in the same 10


respect, nothing was assumed either. They had both openly agreed early in their relationship that if either one of them ever cheated with someone else, condoms would always be used. Terrence trusted Kevin completely, because one of Kevin's quirks was that he was a germaphobe, and he was terrified of HIV/AIDS. Kevin took a drag from the burning cigarette and slapped Terrence hard on the ass. Then he bit his bottom lip and slipped the head of his cock into Terrence's hole. He waited for a second, spread his legs a little, then slid it all the way inside. Terrence's eyes rolled back and his mouth opened; he knew Kevin's dick well by now and he knew how to take all eight inches without an ounce of discomfort. He also knew Kevin liked to get in and get out fast, which was fine with him. So when Kevin's hips started bucking, he grabbed his own dick and started jerking off. The counter began to vibrate and Kevin's balls slapped against his ass cheeks. When Kevin fucked, he tended to concentrate on his own climax and he forgot how strong he really was. There had been times when he'd fucked Terrence so brutally, Terrence had gone home with bruises on the back of his legs. And once, while he was nailing Terrence in the back seat of his car, one of his large feet cracked the rear window. Kevin slammed so hard that a lotion display fell off the counter and crashed all over the floor. "What do you want?" he asked. "Tell me what you want." Terrence's head was bobbing back and forth. He moaned, "Fuck me, Sir. Fuck me harder, Sir." But he was distracted. 11


He looked down on the counter and noticed the advertisement for the reality show again. He wanted to do it; he just wasn't sure he had enough courage. Kevin quickly lit another cigarette and let it dangle from the side of his face. Then he placed both palms on Terrence's ass and squeezed hard with his fingertips. His hips bucked faster, and he shouted, "I'm close." Terrence stood higher on his tiptoes and said, "I'm ready. Fuck me, Sir. Give me that big, thick cock." He held the counter with such a firm grip, his knuckles turned white. Kevin slammed harder, and then finally rammed into Terrence's body with all his strength and climaxed. The counter moved forward and a stack of papers fell to the floor. But Terrence didn't care. He only had to tug on his cock a few times to come. When there was a big dick in his body, it didn't take much effort for him to climax. When Kevin pulled his dick out, he leaned forward and kissed him gently between his shoulder blades. Then he slapped his dripping cock on the small of Terrence's back a few times and said, "Put on your pants now, slut. I'm running a business here, not a whorehouse." He pulled up his white gym shorts and crossed to the front of the counter. Terrence took a deep breath and sighed. The dirty talk was okay during sex, but it seemed out of context afterwards. A simple pat on the ass or a peck on the cheek would have been nice. But Kevin never did that. "Don't open the door yet," Terrencee said, "Give me a minute to clean up. You made a huge mess with all that lotion." He reached for his clothes and crossed back to the 12


bathroom. There was come dripping between his legs and he didn't want to sit like that for the rest of the day. When he returned a minute later, Kevin was standing near the front door with the deposit bag under his arm and another cigarette dangling from his mouth. "I'll call you later," he said. Then he opened the front door and left. Terrence put his hands on his hips and stared at the mess on the floor. There were bottles of lotion strewn across the lobby; the pile of papers had gone across the floor and some had landed on chairs. As he was leaning forward to pick up the lotion bottles, someone said, "What the hell happened in here this morning?" He looked up and saw his best friend, Emma, standing in the doorway. She was wearing a hot pink halter top, a short white skirt and white high heels. She was one of those young women with wide hips and chunky legs; but she pulled it off well with her short skirts and sexy shoes. Terrence smiled. Then he shrugged his shoulders and said, "Kevin stopped by early to make a bank deposit, and he got a little horny and wound up making a deposit in me, too." He told Emma everything about his sex life with Kevin, from the verbal talk to the hot and wild fetish details. She put her hands on her hips and said, "Oh no, you didn't." But her eyebrows arched and she was smiling. She loved hearing about Terrence's raw sexual adventures with Kevin. Especially then, because she wasn't dating anyone. "Ah well," he said, "Just a quickie, is all." He couldn't look her in the eye. He'd just had a long conversation with her the night before about how he wanted to break up with Kevin 13


because the relationship wasn't going anywhere. He was so tired of the constant roller coaster ride, which consisted of hot, wonderful sex followed by emotional disillusionment. Emma folded her arms across her chest and pressed her lips together. "I don't see how you're ever going to get rid of him if you keep having sex with him. Why can't you just say no for once?" He shrugged his shoulders and smiled. "I like it. This morning he nailed me so hard we almost knocked the counter down. It was intense." She raised her hands in the air and waved them back and forth. "I don't want to hear this. I'm going into room two now so I can tan, or I'll be late for work." Then she crossed the lobby and disappeared down a narrow hallway. "I'll set you up," he shouted, reaching behind the counter to set up her tanning bed with the computer. He controlled all the beds from the front desk. All the customers had to do was push a button next to the bed when they were ready to tan and the bed would turn on and off automatically. A minute later, another client entered. Annie Rose was a widow in her early sixties who had recently discovered the psychological benefits of ultraviolet light. "Can I have bed five today? I've never done bed five." she asked. Then she stared down at the chaos on the floor and pressed her hand to her throat. Terrence smiled. "Sorry about the mess, Annie," he said, "I knocked a few things over by accident this morning. Just go back to room five, and I'll set up the bed for ten minutes." Annie Rose, like most of his customers, paid by the month, so 14


there was no need to ring up a sale. And though a typical session ran twenty minutes, she preferred ten because of her pale skin. "Thanks," she said, and went back to room five. But then Terrence frowned. Room five had one of the smallest tanning beds in the salon. And Annie was a large woman who had been on a diet since l968. You couldn't overlook a figure like hers. When she walked through the hallway, her wide hips brushed against the walls. And when she sat down on the tanning bed, you could hear the Plexiglas squeak and crack all the way out in the lobby. He was about to suggest that Annie reconsider and use bed seven (the largest one), when a new customer opened the front door. When he looked up, a young guy with a smooth, even voice said, "I'm in a hurry today. Do you have a tanning bed open?" He told Terrence he'd been to the salon before, on Sundays when Terrence was off. "No problem," Terrence said. The guy had a rough, rockstar appeal. His shaggy, sandy blond hair parted on the right and fell across his forehead in messy clumps. He was wearing faded jeans, a white T-shirt and heavy black boots. When he shoved his hands into his pockets, round muscles popped from his upper arms. "My name is Jude Foster," he said, "I'm already in the computer and I have an ID card." There were flecks of gold in his pale blue eyes. When he smiled, the right side of his mouth went higher than the left.

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Terrence crossed back to the counter and pulled his ID card from the files. He signed his name fast, handed the card back to Terrence and said, "What's your name?" "Ah well," he said, "Terrence." When he looked into Jude's eyes, his heart began to beat faster and his legs felt a little weak. His ass was still warm from Kevin's dick, and now he wanted to fall on his knees for Jude. Jude reached into his back pocket and the white shirt rose above his waistline, exposing a lean, flat stomach. He handed Terrence a ten-dollar bill and smiled again. "Terrence," he said, "Nice to meet you." He took the money and smiled. "Thank you. It's nice to meet you, too." Then he pointed to the hallway and said, "You can have room seven today." "Thanks, man," he said, and crossed back to the hallway. He walked on the balls of his feet, as if he were ready to start jogging. After he set up Jude's bed on the computer, Emma returned to the lobby. But she didn't stop to talk. She just crossed by fast and said, "I'll call you later. I'm in a hurry." She was a hairdresser, but hated where she worked. Then he remembered he hadn't heard a word from Annie Rose. She should have come out before Emma. He looked down at the computer and saw her tanning session had ended more than ten minutes ago. His stomach jumped and he jogged back to room two and knocked on the door a few times. "Are you okay, Annie?" he whispered through the door. He waited, but there was no response. What if she'd had a stroke? What if she got stuck in the tanning bed and couldn't 16


get out? He said, louder, "Is everything all right, Annie? Are you okay?" But there was no response. His heart started beating faster and his mouth became dry. What would he tell the people at 911? That there was a woman stuck in a tanning bed? "Bring a large stretcher," he'd have to tell them, "She's a big one." He knew how to unlock the door from the outside, but he wasn't sure he wanted to find a dead woman. What a fine state of affairs this was. Then he heard a shuffle, and Annie said, "I'm okay. But the bed is stuck. I can't get the lid open. I hope I didn't break it." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second. "I'll get you out, Annie. I'm so sorry. Sometimes these beds get stuck and the lids don't work properly." The tops of the tanning beds opened and closed with two long, thin hydraulic pumps attached to either end. When the pumps worked, it made lifting the tanning bed simple, as though the heavy lid weighed nothing at all. However, when the hydraulic pumps malfunctioned, those lids were nearly impossible to lift, especially when you were flat on your back. "Hold on a second, Annie," he said, "I'll get some help and you'll be out of there in a minute. You're not stuck. I know what to do." He knew he'd never be able to lift the lid on his own, so he ran to room seven and knocked on Jude's door. "Jude," he said, "I need some help out here. It's an emergency. There's a customer stuck in a tanning bed and I need some help getting her out." His voice was cracking by then and his chest was heaving. 17


There were shuffling noises in Jude's room. In a second, the door opened and Jude stood in the doorway wearing nothing but a white terrycloth towel wrapped around white cotton briefs. The towel wasn't large enough to cover him completely. It fastened at the side of his waist in a Tarzanstyle knot, and his solid, fleecy left leg was exposed all the way up to his white briefs. He followed Terrence to room five, where Annie Rose lay trapped. Terrence reached above the door where he kept a key to unlock each cubicle in case of an emergency. But Jude grabbed the key from his shaking hand and with a few turns and clicked the door opened. "We're coming in, Annie," Terrence said. Jude went to the foot of the tanning bed and Terrence went to the head. They reached under and placed their palms on the edge. "We'll lift the lid, Annie, hold it in place, and you get out," Terrence said. "Okay." She didn't sound defeated or worried. Her tone seemed to suggest she enjoyed the excitement. On the count of three, they gradually lifted the lid and held it in place while poor Annie Rose struggled beneath them. She slowly turned onto her side to swing her right leg over the edge of the bed first so she could get her footing. It took three tries, but she finally threw her large leg over and awkwardly crawled out, ass first. Terrence was silently relieved she'd had the foresight to wear a bathing suit and had not opted to tan naked like so many clients preferred. It was a black one-piece, with push-up bra and a ruffled peplum covering the tops of her thighs. 18


"Oh my," Annie said. Then she stood up straight, trying to regain her balance. But her eyes rolled and her body swayed. They were still holding the lid when she lost balance and backed into Jude. Her hip banged him in such a way the white towel wrapped around his waist slipped off and fell to the floor. At least he was facing the tanning bed and they couldn't see his front, but Annie and Terrence had a full view of how his sweet, slim body looked in white briefs from behind. There were two perfect dimples at the small of his back. Poor Annie took one look at Jude's ass in underwear and covered her open mouth with her right hand. Then she took another quick peek, glanced at Terrence and winked. Jude and Terrence slowly lowered the lid so it wouldn't come crashing down and ruin the tanning bed. On its way down, Jude quickly reached for the towel so he could cover his almost naked body. "Thank you so much, young man," Annie said, while Jude hunched over and slowly backed out of the room. The towel covered his entire front while he held it in place from behind with his right hand. "No problem," he said, clearly wanting to leave. When he was gone, Annie smiled and turned to Terrence. "Well, that was exhilarating. I'll just get dressed now and wipe down the bed." Terrence returned to the reception desk, and a few minutes later Annie came pounding down the hallway. When she reached the lobby, she said, "Damn, that felt great!" Terrence apologized for the bed problem and offered her a free tanning session, but Annie refused. "It wasn't that bad," 19


she said, "I've been through worse." Then she leaned in closer and in a stage whisper said, "And where in the world could I go to see a cute guy like that in his underwear? I wouldn't mind getting stuck all the time if he came to the rescue. Ha." Terrence laughed and promised her that every hydraulic pump in the salon would be checked by a technician and it would never happen again. As she turned to leave, clomping toward the exit, a wave of sadness suddenly came over him. His mother had been dead one year, he was still in the same stagnant relationship, and there didn't seem to be any hope for the future. The audition for the reality show was his only hope. When Jude Foster's tanning session ended, he came down the hallway with his shoulders hunched and his hands in his pockets. Terrence was on the telephone with Kevin. Poor guy couldn't figure out how to read the recently updated bank deposit forms. "Hold on a second," Terrence said to Kevin. "A new customer is leaving, and I want to see if all went well." As a businessman, Kevin shouldn't have minded Terrence's concern for a paying customer, but he called him a stupid fucking cock slut and hung up in a snit. Terrence faked a smile so Jude wouldn't know he'd just been insulted. "I see you're busy on the phone, and I have to run, but I'll be back," Jude said as he crossed the lobby. "Thanks for helping out like that," Terrence said, "I would have had to call 911 and it could have been embarrassing for everyone." 20


"No problem," he said, then hesitated for a moment and sniffed back a few times. He lowered his eyebrows and said, "I like that smell. What is it? Bananas and something else I can't figure out." Terrence's eyes opened wide and he smiled. He knew his ass would smell like bananas and watermelon for the rest of the day. But he didn't want Jude to know that, too. So he said, "We have all kinds of lotions in here." "Oh," he said, but he sniffed a few more times and smiled. "Let me at least give you a refund," Terrence said. "No way. I enjoyed this tanning session. My ex-boyfriend hated it when I tanned. We broke up a few weeks ago and now I can do whatever I want," he said, cleverly informing Terrence that he was openly gay. "He also said my mother was too interfering, and she's not at all like that, trust me." "Sorry to hear that," Terrence said, fumbling for words, "about the break-up, not you doing what you want. You should be able to do whatever you want all the time." "Don't be sorry," Jude said, "it was coming for a while." "Relationships aren't easy," Terrence said, "I'm on the verge of breaking up with a guy right now." He couldn't believe he'd actually said it out loud, and to a perfect stranger. He wasn't really on the verge; just thinking about it. But that's how it came out. "Not easy at all, man," Jude repeated, backing toward the exit. "Mine's been coming for a while, too," Terrence said. He did it again. 21


Jude smiled and shook his head. As he turned to leave, Terrence noticed the smooth, reddish brown skin on his broad shoulders; his long legs slightly bowed at the knee. Jude Foster, without a doubt, had to be one of the sexiest men he'd ever met. When he opened the front door, he turned back and asked, "Are you here all the time?" "Six days a week," Terrence said, "including Saturdays." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Two But he didn't go to work the following Saturday like he usually did. He arranged to have his part-timer work that day and he went to New York to audition for the reality show instead. He didn't tell anyone he was going. He told Kevin he had the stomach flu, and he told his stepfather, Larry, that he was going to New York to audition for an off-Broadway play in the East Village. Larry couldn't stop smiling when he heard Terrence was finally getting serious about his career as a performer. His parents had given him vocal lessons, acting lessons and piano lessons since he was six years old. He'd always known he'd wanted to be in entertainment, but he'd taken a break when his mother had been diagnosed with cancer two years earlier. When he'd backed out of the driveway early that morning, Larry was standing next to the car with his arms folded across his chest and a smile so wide you could see all his teeth. "I know your mother would have been thrilled to see you doing this," he said, "Just do your best and focus on the music. And remember what she always said: 'No one is going to help you get anywhere in life. They're afraid you might be better than them, so you have to claw and fight for everything.'" Larry was also a well-known professional musician—a pianist who had worked with the best names in the music industry. He knew better than anyone how difficult it could be. 23


Terrence forced a smile and said, "I'll see you later tonight." Then he backed out of his parking space and drove down the long, narrow driveway that connected Larry's small private estate to the main road. He knew Larry meant well, but he hadn't heard his mother's voice for a year now and he didn't want to get sentimental today. The ad in the newspaper hadn't given him much information about the reality show, but he knew it was a singing competition on the brand new Young Adult TV Network—YAN—and that the contestants would audition with one song and no music. On the drive to New York, he rehearsed the song he was going to sing for the audition. He'd been rehearsing it all week, a simple ballad that worked well without accompaniment. **** The hotel lobby where the auditions were being held was drenched in beige marble, plush Persian Carpets and gilded reproduction furniture. The producers from YAN had clearly situated large signs for the auditions so people would know where to go and what to do. Along the far right wall at the back of the lobby a sign read, "American Star: Auditions." Terrence's knees were shaking and his palms were sweating, but he crossed through a set of huge double doors. It seemed like a million people were scurrying and flitting in every direction. Most had large white tags pinned to their chests with bold black numbers. At the back of the room, another sign read, "Registration Table." He wended his way 24


through the crowd, trying to take slow, deep breaths so his heart wouldn't start to palpitate, and stood in a short line behind five other people. The girl in front of him was fidgeting with a button and tapping her left foot, but she looked approachable, so he asked, "Is this the line to sign up for auditions? I thought there would be more people." Her head fell back and she laughed. "Registration ends at nine. We're the last ones, which means we'll probably be here all day long." Then she frowned and shook her head. "The ad in the newspaper didn't mention that," he said. "If I'd known I would have been here earlier." Then he took a shallow breath and sighed. "Ah well, at least I still have time." She shrugged and said, "Barely, dude." But the line moved fast, and it didn't take long before he was standing in front of an assistant producer and she was handing him a registration form. "Take this and fill it out, and then sign it at the bottom," she said. "After that, bring it back to the table next to this and they will give you a number to pin on your chest." Her jet black hair fell to her shoulders, with inch-long bangs pasted to her forehead in thick clumps as if she'd been sweating. He took the form and tried to thank her, but she turned her back and gulped down a Diet Coke that had been resting next to a huge cheesesteak sandwich. You could smell the onions and grease; there was a tug in his stomach and he swallowed back. When he finished filling the form, he returned it to the other table. He'd signed it without really reading all the 25


details; just the basics. He'd agreed to everything, including the fact that anything that happened during the audition would become property of The American Star Show. He didn't have much of a choice if he wanted to audition. When he handed the form to a thin guy with spiked red hair, his hands were shaking a little. The guy wrote the number 1462 across the front of a tag, handed it to Terrence with a safety pin and said, "Pin this on your chest and don't remove it. Pay attention to when they call your number, because we are not waiting for anyone." "Thank you," Terrence said, and turned away from the table. He lowered his head to his shoes and clenched his teeth. His heart began to race and he felt the need to run from the room, cross through the lobby and jump into his car. All of a sudden, the entire audition felt like a waste of time. There were so many people. How could he possibly compete with all this? He wasn't ready yet. Then someone said, "What are you doing here, man?" The voice sounded vaguely familiar. When he lifted his head, his eyes widened and his head jerked back. It was Jude Foster. Terrence hadn't thought much about him since that morning Kevin had fucked his brains out (he never forgot a good fuck session). Terrence smiled and said, "Ah well, I'm here to audition." His voice was soft and he stammered a few times. Jude's long shaggy hair was now as short as his, with a small turned-up wave on top. Terrence had liked the long hair, but this looked good, too. 26


"Me too," Jude said. "And guess what? The girl who just signed me in said I was the last one to register. They just closed registration." "What's your number?" Terrence asked. His hands weren't shaking anymore and his heart beat returned to normal. Jude wore a white polo shirt with the collar turned up and a pair of tight, low-rise jeans. He looked hot; like a porn star. "1466," Jude said, holding his number up high. "I guess I'm lucky. I wanted to get here earlier, but my car had trouble and I had to take the bus in from New Hope." "I guess I'm lucky, too," Terrence said. "I'm 1462." When they crossed the holding room to claim a couple of chairs, a few young girls leaned over and whispered something to each other, then giggled out loud. Terrence was wearing a white polo shirt and low-rise jeans similar to Jude's. They were the same height and weight, and they even had similar features. Small, straight noses, high cheekbones and dimples in their chins. If it hadn't been for the fact that Terrence had dark hair and Jude had light hair, they could have passed for brothers. Originally, the folding chairs had been set up in long, neat rows. But people had rearranged them to form groups in haphazard circles. There were a lot of other people wearing numbers on their chests, but just as many weren't. Terrence assumed these were the friends and family of contestants there to offer support. He'd thought about asking Emma to go with him, but had decided against it at the last minute. He figured that if he was a flop, it would be better if nobody from home knew about it. 27


They claimed two chairs and Terrence sat down without giving it a second thought. But it took Jude a little longer to get comfortable. He tugged and pulled his jeans, hiking up his pants. Terrence couldn't help but notice a large bulge between his legs. It popped forward from his crotch and rounded into a stuffed pillow. He wanted to reach out and press it with his fingertips, but he turned his head in the other direction and tried not to stare. Only his eyes kept darting to the side to see what was happening. And when Jude finally did sit down, he clenched his teeth and stretched one leg out to the side. He actually slid down onto the chair, resting his ass on the edge of the seat. He folded his arms across his chest to get comfortable, then he tried to cross his legs at the ankle. But it didn't work. A moment later, he said, "I'm going to find the bathroom." Terrence smiled, then reached down when no one was watching and ran his palm up Jude's right leg and squeezed it a few times. It was a bold move with a virtual stranger, but with Jude, it didn't feel out of place. At least that's what he hoped when he lowered his voice and said, "I'll go with you." "Well," Jude said, "we might lose our chairs. You'd better wait here." He sounded apprehensive; even though he knew Terrence was seducing him. Terrence leaned forward and said, "Fuck the chairs, man. Let's go find the bathroom and make this day go by a little faster." Then he wiggled his eyebrows and smiled. When they were in the bathroom, Jude crossed back to the last stall and hesitated. But Terrence gave him a small push, he went forward, and Terrence locked the door behind them. 28


The outer area with sinks and urinals had been empty and only one of the seven stalls was occupied, so no one saw them go in together. Jude turned to face him; he opened his mouth to say something but Terrence leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. He tasted soft and sweet; his breath smelled of fresh peppermint, so different from the stale tobacco taste of Kevin's breath. "Don't say anything," Terrence said. "Just close your eyes and relax." Then he stepped out of his shoes, slipped off his jeans and pulled his shirt over his head without removing the number. When he was standing on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but socks, he took Jude's hands and placed them on his ass. "All you have to do is pull down your zipper and lean back into the wall." His erection rubbed against the bulge between Jude's legs and he closed his eyes. He felt giddy, the way he usually felt when he was about to open a new package. Jude smiled and he squeezed his ass a few times. But he whispered softly, "I have a problem I should warn you about first. I mean, I really want to do this ... you're hot ... but there's something you should know first." "A problem?" Jude took a deep breath and said, "I have a mutant penis." "Huh?" "A mutant penis," Jude said, still whispering, "It's not deformed or anything. I'm not carrying a freak flag. It's just oversized. Really big. Most guys run out the door when they see it. My last boyfriend just couldn't handle it and that was one of the reasons why we broke up." 29


Terrence looked down at the bulge between his legs and pressed his lips together. He was used to Kevin's dick, and that certainly wasn't small. And he had a good eight inches himself. How bad could it be? So he said, "Just relax and pull down your zipper, Jude. I promise I won't run out the door." He took a breath and hesitated. Then he spread his legs and slowly lowered his zipper. It fell from his jeans like a roll of paper towels unraveling across the kitchen floor; it was already semi-erect and growing longer and thicker by the second. Terrence's mouth opened and he pressed his palm against his chest. He stood there staring for a moment, then he licked his lips and went down on his knees. First, he lowered Jude's pants to his ankles; he liked to press his palms against a pair of strong hairy legs while he gave head. And Jude's thighs were just right. He already knew—thanks to Annie's fiasco with the tanning bed—they were covered with a soft layer of wavy blond hair. Jude had trimmed his blond bush into a neat little triangle, which was a nice touch. When his fingertips were lightly rubbing Jude's thighs, he opened his mouth, puckered his lips and started sucking on the head. His dick was fully erect by then, and the head was the size of a computer mouse. Then he stuck out his tongue and ran it along the bottom of Jude's shaft very slowly. It tasted a little salty, but it smelled like clean, fresh soap and water. There was a thick, bulging vein on the bottom; he licked it and swallowed back a few times. Then he buried his face in Jude's crotch and sucked both normal-sized balls into his mouth. He rolled them around slowly and swallowed back again; they tasted a little 30


saltier than his dick, but smelled just as fresh and clean. When he looked up, Jude was leaning against the stall with his eyes closed. Then the bathroom door opened, causing a loud noise that made Jude jerk back; his balls slid from Terrence's mouth. A group of young guys there for the audition crossed to the urinals and pulled down their zippers. They were loud and obnoxious; every sentence began with the word fuck. But they couldn't see that Terrence was naked and sucking Jude off inside the last stall. So he reached up with his right hand and grabbed Jude's dick again. When he tried to wrap his fingers around the shaft, they only went part of the way. It felt more like wrapping his hand around someone's wrist than someone's dick. His heart raced and his breathing became rapid. He opened his mouth as wide as it would go and gobbled up as much as he could. Though it was physically impossible to take more than half into his mouth, he packed as much of Jude's big dick to the back of his throat as he could. His own cock was pulsing and thumping, and it occurred to him that he'd never been this aroused in his life. If he'd had condoms at that very moment, he would have opened his legs and bent over the toilet so Jude could fuck him. He knew that while it may have been impossible to take the entire cock down his throat, his ass would be able to handle every wonderful inch without a problem. When the other guys left, Terrence began to suck harder. His cheeks indented while Jude spread his legs wider and pressed his hands against the wall behind him. And when his 31


legs began to wobble, Terrence had to wonder how long it had been since anyone had given him head. His body jerked with the slightest touch, he bit his bottom lip to keep from moaning out loud, his head went back and forth, and he took quick, shallow breaths whenever Terrence pressed his tongue against the bottom and sucked hard. The entire cock seemed to ache with erotic places that could make his eyes spin in circles. Terrence knew he had to be quiet in a public bathroom, so he sucked without loud slurps, jerking the shaft in unison with the suction. Saliva dripped from the corners of his mouth and down his chin; he could taste the initial drops of sweet, tangy pre-come oozing from the slit. If he'd been with Kevin, he would have finished him off. He liked the taste of come and didn't mind swallowing a load. But he didn't know Jude well enough to do that and he'd always been responsible about having safe sex. So When Jude was ready to blast, he stopped sucking and whispered, "Jerk off on my face now." Jude had reached that point where he was beyond reason; he only wanted to come. So he grabbed his massive shaft with both hands and started tugging. And Terrence pointed his face directly beneath the head of Jude's dick and closed his eyes. He started jerking his own dick with one hand and squeezed Jude's balls with the other. A second later, the huge monster exploded all over Terrence's face. It hit his skin hard enough to make his head jerk back. The aroma was intoxicating: sugar and bleach and honey mixed into one. And while he continued to milk Jude's balls, he blew his own load all over the bathroom floor. 32


When he finally opened his eyes again, he reached for a piece of toilet paper and cleaned the last few drops of come from Jude's dick. He wanted to stay there on his knees and stare at it for the rest of the day; he could have put it over his shoulder and burped it. But all he had time to do was place it in his palm, hoist it up and kiss it good-bye. Before Jude packed the huge snake back into his jeans, he looked down and said, "Thanks, man." Terrence smiled and said, "That was awesome." Then he reached back for some more toilet paper so he could wipe off his face. **** When they returned to the holding room, an attractive young man circled the contestants with a camera crew. He was a light-skinned African American man with strong solid features and a slim, well-defined body. He smiled and joked around with the contestants while the camera crew filmed everything. "Who's that?" Terrence asked. "That's Brian Masters," Jude said. "He's the host of the show. I read about him somewhere in a magazine." "He's hot," Terrence said. He wasn't very tall, but he had a cute ass. "Not bad," Jude said, "But the main reason he's here today is to film the worst contestants. I read there are going to be separate programs before the actual competition, where they show the worst singers who auditioned. And I'm sure there are plenty." 33


Terrence lowered his eyebrows and took a deep breath, praying he wouldn't be included in the worst group of singers and be embarrassed on national television. As the day slowly pressed on, Terrence found that talking with Jude made the hours pass quickly. It wasn't as though Jude said or did anything spectacular or profound. The conversation was simple and easy. Besides discussing their lives, Jude had read all about The American Star Show in a magazine and he told Terrence everything he knew. At four in the afternoon, when a young guy sat down next to them and interrupted their conversation, Terrence couldn't believe all that time had passed. "Dude, you look so relaxed," the guy said. He was short, with fiery red hair that puffed out in large, frizzy waves, and he had a beard and sideburns, but no mustache. He wasn't bad looking, and he had a fairly decent body, but there was something about him Terrence didn't like. "Ah well," Jude said, "I'm not as relaxed as I look." "I'm so wired I could freak," he said, "But you boys look really cool about it all." Terrence smiled and stared down at his lap. When he'd said "you boys," he knew he'd really meant, "You gay guys." There was nothing wrong with that in a general sense, but Terrence had always thought comments like that were slightly condescending ... even in a positive way. And there was something creepy about the guy. He reminded Terrence of Kevin's straight buddies at the pool hall who would occasionally feel up his ass when Kevin wasn't looking. After a six-pack of beer, those guys were so horny they were ready 34


to fuck a pillow. Terrence had turned down their blunt advances in the beginning. But after he learned that Kevin had been cheating on him with other men—and women—he'd secretly take one or another into the men's room and sucked them off without thinking twice. He knew they'd never mention it to Kevin. This guy sat back and started talking as if he'd known them forever. He told them his name was Seth Clifton, that he lived somewhere in northern New Jersey and that he'd written his own music to sing for the audition. His speaking voice was grainy and high-pitched; his fingernails had been bitten and chewed to the cuticle. When Jude smiled and told Seth both their names, Terrence wanted to kick Jude in the shins. He tried to give Jude a look, but Jude kept smiling and talking. He told Seth where he lived, and then told him where Terrence lived, too. When Seth heard Terrence was from New Hope, his eyes opened wide and he said, "That's a cool place. A little touristy, but I like it." Terrence gave Jude another look. Then he said, "It's home." He didn't want to get friendly with this guy. His mother had always said, "Never open the lines of communication with someone too soon. It could take years to get rid of them." Seth ran his hand through his hair. There was a small tattoo of a bumblebee on the inside of his wrist. "I wrote a few books, and there's a store in New Hope that carries them," he said. Then he went on to mention the name of an 35


obscure publisher and said, "I've been called The Prince of Dark Fiction." "Ah well, there you are," Terrence said. Then he yawned and looked in the other direction. Seth's eyes popped and his face turned red at Terrence's polite disinterest. He'd been hoping that Seth would get up and walk away, but Seth took it as a personal insult. His eyes bugged, his chin went forward and he said, "I'm an artist, and I have a statement to make with my words and music. That's why I'm singing my own song for the audition today. It's called Maybe Later." Terrance gave Jude another look and rolled his eyes. Seth stood from his chair and said he'd written a ballad that addressed all the problems of the world, from hunger to terrorism. He had all the answers; anything and everything about saving the world were in his song. The lyrics were based on a conversation he envisioned he'd one day have with the President of the United States. He said he'd read somewhere that the President liked to discuss important matters during lunchtime, while eating a tuna sandwich on rye. Jude shrugged his shoulders and said, "I just want to entertain people, is all." Seth ignored him. His eyes were glazed by then, and there was a large, purple vein popping from the side of his neck. He started to sing, "You say the word, and lunch I will buy; you bring the tuna and I'll bring the rye ... " The melody strongly resembled "The Battle Hymn of the Republic," and his voice 36


was high and off pitch—so wrecked and offensive, it almost hurt Terrence's feelings. When he was finished, Terrence inhaled and said, "Maybe you should have chosen a Partridge Family song instead. I don't think they care about politics." "Fuck you, dude," Seth said. He pointed his finger in Terrence's face and shook it hard. Terrence jumped back, but Jude stood up and said, "Hey, buddy. He didn't mean any harm. No need to freak, man. It's all good." His voice was low and calm but firm. "Fucking fag," Seth said, staring down at Terrence, still pointing. Jude was about to reach forward and pull him back, but someone called his name and number at the exact same moment. He clenched his fists for a moment, then stepped back. He knew there was no time to waste. "You two had better remember me," he said, "This won't be the last time you see my face." He turned and crossed to the audition room door. Terrence took a deep breath, and said, "I have a funny feeling that what's going to happen during his audition isn't going to be pretty." "Ah well," Jude said, "Maybe he really does have a good voice. Who knows?" But less than five minutes later, Seth Clifton had to be escorted from the hotel by security. Evidently, the judges in the audition room didn't like his song about tuna fish sandwiches, and when they told him so, he freaked out. As they carried him from the room, he screamed pejoratives at 37


everyone. Then he turned his head toward Jude and Terrence and shouted, "Nothing but fags and losers in this room." At seven o'clock in the evening, they finally called Terrence's name and number. The holding room was empty by then, and he and Jude were the only two left. There had been three people between them, but after watching all the rejected contestants exit the audition room, some discouraged people had decided to leave early and forego the audition altogether. Terrence stood from his chair and smoothed his jeans. He smiled when Jude patted him on the back for encouragement and crossed into the audition room. His heart began to race and his mouth felt dry again. A painfully thin young man with curly black hair and thick eyeglasses told him to stand on a large letter X that had been taped to a portable wooden floor. The three judges were seated at a long glass table in front of him, in oversized black leather chairs that seemed to engulf them. "Terrence Lorenzo. It says here on the registration form that you work in a tanning salon," said one of the judges. He was the one seated in the middle. He had a heavy Australian accent, long white hair that fell to his shoulders, and a weak chin. He wore a black cowboy hat, and black lizard cowboy boots. "Ah well, yes," Terrence said, nodding his head and smiling. Jude had warned him he'd read some interesting things about this judge. His name was Marco Lennington., He was one of the creators and producers of the show, and could be extremely and viciously critical. 38


"Then why aren't you tanned?" Marco asked. His eyebrows went up and he tapped his chin with a pencil. Terrence smiled, and then shrugged his shoulders. "I don't tan well, is all," he said. The judge to Marco's right shook his head, and said, "C'mon, man. We don't care if he tans. We're only interested in how he sings." According to Jude, this was Rocko Santinni, a former singing star turned producer. He had a heavy Texas accent and his large stomach rested on the glass tabletop. "That's right, Marco," the judge to Marco's left said. "We only have one more after this. Let's just get the show on the road." Her name was Priscilla Vargas. She'd been a one hit wonder back in the eighties, now apparently hoping The American Star Show would put her back on the map. Her eyebrows were pulled way back and she had thick, puffy lips, thanks to the wonders of modern medicine. Marco rolled his eyes and waved both hands in the air. "Well, then," he said, "Why don't you show us what you've got? I hope you sing better than you tan." Then he sat back and folded his arms across his chest, waiting for Terrence to be a flop. Terrence smiled and looked down at his shoes. Then he took a deep breath, closed his eyes and started to sing the song he'd been rehearsing all week. Though his heart had been ready to burst from his chest, the moment he began to sing, his head went up and his eyes opened wide. His heartbeat returned to normal, his palms stopped sweating and his knees felt solid again. 39


When he was finished, he looked across the room and took a deep breath. The judges' faces had gone blank. Terrence crossed his fingers behind his back and silently prayed they wouldn't be too brutal. Then Priscilla smiled and said, "You're one of the best we've heard all day." "I agree," Rocko said. "I wasn't expecting that. You need some work, but there's something there." Terrence shoved his hands into his pockets and smiled. Then he looked at Marco and shrugged his shoulders. He'd already assumed Marco was the one in charge, and he wanted Marco's approval, too. Marco folded his hands and rested them on the glass table. "Well, you're not completely awful," he said. "I agree with Rocko, for once. But you seem uncomfortable and nervous in public." Priscilla put her hands on her hips and sighed. "Of course he's nervous. He's auditioning for a television show." Then she bit her bottom lip and shook her head, clearly impatient with Marco. Marco frowned. "I'm not sure whether or not you can come to life on the stage, but I'm willing to give you a shot as long as the others agree." Priscilla smiled and said, "Well, Terrence, it looks like you're going to Hollywood for the next round of auditions." Terrence smiled and stepped back. "Thank you," he said. "Thank you so much. I promise I won't let you down." Then he backed out of the audition room, bowing a few times, trying to grasp the magnitude of what had just happened. 40


Jude was waiting outside the door, and Brian Masters was off to the side with his camera crew filming everything. When he opened the door and smiled, Jude spread his arms apart and asked, "What happened?" Terrence shrugged and said, "They liked me. I'm going to Hollywood." His arms were at his side and his voice was soft and hesitant. But he was smiling. Jude smiled and ran over to him with his arms open wide. He hugged him so hard, Terrence's eyes bugged. Then they called Jude's name and number, the last audition of the day. He took a deep breath, patted Terrence on the shoulder and said, "Here goes." Terrence's fists were clenched the entire time Jude was in the audition room. He had never heard him sing a note, but he wanted him to go to Hollywood too. But when he surfaced from the room a few minutes later, he was staring at the floor and his shoulders were sunken. When he looked up at Terrence, he frowned and shook his head. Then he screamed, "I made it, too!" He started to jump up and down, then ran around the holding room shouting, "I made it" over and over. He grabbed Brian Masters, lifted him off the ground and started jumping around in circles. And Brian took it well. He wrapped his arms around Jude's wide shoulders and his legs around his thin waist, knowing that the camera crew was taping all this excitement for future shows. When all the commotion died down and Brian and the camera crew were packing up for the night, Jude put his arm around Terrence and said, "C'mon. Let's get out of here. I have a bus to catch." 41


Terrence stopped walking and gave him a look. "Are you serious? I'm driving back to New Hope, and you're coming with me. I'll drop you off anywhere you like." Jude smiled. "I don't want to put you out," he said. "I don't mind the bus." Terrence wasn't used to guys who were this polite. Kevin would have said, "Get the car, bitch." So he shook his head and said, "C'mon, my car is across the street in a garage." "Then I insist on paying for the parking," Jude said. "Oh, no," Terrence said. "I would have had to pay anyway." But when they reached the garage, Jude insisted. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Three By the time they got back to New Hope, it was too late to do anything but exchange phone numbers. Jude thanked him for the ride and said, "I'll call you so we can get together and rehearse for the Hollywood auditions." In the next round, they would have to compete against singers who had auditioned from other cities, and the judges would narrow the competition down to twelve final contestants from all over the country. Terrence wanted to reach over and pull down his zipper again right there in the supermarket parking lot where Jude had left his car, but he knew Larry was home waiting to hear about his so-called offBroadway audition. So he smiled and said, "Call me anytime." When Terrence pulled into the long, narrow driveway, he noticed all the lights in the main house were lit and Larry was standing under the portico with his hands in his pockets. He parked in his usual space next to the stone cottage where he lived and slowly walked up the gravel path to the main house. Larry wasn't his legal stepfather; his mother had never been married. But Larry and his mother had been best friends ever since they'd first met in Greenwich Village, where Larry was just a struggling musician playing the piano at the old bathhouses. He was more like an appointed stepfather, but just as close as any blood relation could ever be. The fact that he'd always been openly gay was an added bonus. Larry stood in the doorway, his lips pressed together, waiting for Terrence to speak first. He was wearing tight, 43


faded jeans and a white T-shirt. From a distance, he resembled Johnny Depp. "I'm sorry I'm so late," Terrence said, stopping at the bottom step. "The auditions went on all day long." Larry shrugged and ran his fingers through his straight, brown hair. "How did it go?" Terrence took a deep breath and said, "Well, they liked me enough to send me to audition for the next round in Hollywood." He wasn't sure how Larry would react to the fact that he'd just auditioned for a reality show on television, especially one that no one had heard much about. So he decided to ease into it all and explain slowly. But Larry asked, "Who liked you? What are you talking about? What kind of an audition was this?" Then he lowered his eyebrows and folded his arms across his chest. "I auditioned for a new TV show today, for the Young Adult Network. It's a singing competition called The American Star Show. The judges liked me and they're sending me to Hollywood for the next round of auditions." His voice was soft and low, almost apologetic. "I didn't want to tell you the truth about the audition, because I wasn't sure if they'd like me or not." Larry's head fell back and he smiled. "You have no idea how proud I am of you right now," he said. "I'm not too thrilled that you lied to me. I'd still love you just as much if you'd been a flop. But I understand, too. I probably wouldn't have told anyone either." Terrence looked up at him and said, "So you think this is okay? That reality TV is okay?" He was going to do the show 44


whether Larry liked it or not, but his approval was worth hearing. "Are you kidding?" he asked, "I just read about this show last week and I don't see how it could be a bad thing. It's national exposure, and it's being produced by Marco Lennington. He's the toughest son of a bitch I've worked with, but he's never done anything that's failed." "You know Marco?" Terrence asked. Larry's face looked darker that night. He'd probably been sitting at the pool all day waiting for Terrence to return. Though he was pushing forty-five, he didn't look a day over thirty in that soft light. "I've worked on a few things he's produced," Larry said. "I know Rocko, too. But I've never met Priscilla." Terrence shook his head and laughed. He should have suspected Larry might know at least one of the judges. Then he said, "I want to keep this a secret for the time being. I don't want anyone to find out you know Marco or Rocko. And I don't want the judges to know you're my stepfather, at least not right away. I really want to do this on my own, to make it on my own." Larry smiled and raised both palms in the air. "I'm fine with that. I'll stay in the background and won't say a word to anyone." He shoved his hands back into his pockets and said, "C'mon inside and I'll get the champagne. I ordered pizza and it's in the oven." An hour later, stuffed beyond the point of comfort, they went outside to sit on Larry's veranda. It was one of those warm, still summer nights at the end of August when the impatiens and geraniums had reached their peaks and the 45


insects were screaming as loud as they could. "Your mother and Donald would have been so proud of you," Larry said, sipping a glass of champagne. Terrence smiled. "I hope so," he said, trying to smile. But a wave of sadness always hit him whenever Larry mentioned Donald. He'd been Larry's life partner for more than twenty years, until a drunk driver ran a red light one cold night two days before Christmas. That had been almost two years earlier, not long before Terrence's mother—Larry's best friend—had succumbed to cancer. Larry hadn't been the same man since the tragedies. He'd gone into semi-retirement, and now only worked when something came along in New York. But now he punched Terrence in the arm and laughed. "Hell, your mother would have been planning her new wardrobe and Donald would have been deciding whether to drive a Bentley or a Rolls Royce when we got to Hollywood." "You're probably right," Terrence said, slowly sipping his champagne. But they weren't jumping up and down and shouting. Larry and Terrence had always been the conservative ones in the family. How strange, he thought, that the two most energetic and outrageous people in both their lives were now gone. Though Donald had been a pediatrician, he'd always be remembered as the guy who had laughed the loudest at any party. And Terrence's mother, with her long blond hair, false eyelashes and feather boas, would always be recalled as that woman who'd edged dangerously close to transvestite. "Damn," Terrence said. "Sometimes I miss them both so much I could scream." 46


"Me, too, kid," Larry said. "But it's all good." Then he raised his glass and quietly said, "To Hollywood." **** On Monday morning, Kevin didn't jump up and down and clap his hands when Terrence told him the news. They were going over the monthly tanning lotion order and Terrence just blurted it all out in one sentence. "I'm quitting my job, going to Hollywood to be a contestant on the new reality show, and I'm leaving at the end of the month." It probably wasn't the best time to drop this news. Business was always very slow at the end of summer and Kevin had been talking about cutting back hours to save money. He stared down at the lotion order form and said, "Terrence, what are you saying?" Terrence carefully explained the details, but that only made Kevin clench his brutal fists. A large blue vein began to bulge in his left temple, and he ran the palm of his hand through his pale blond hair. "What the fuck do you think this is? I'm trying to run a business here." Then he pinned Terrence to the wall with one hand and pulled down his zipper with the other. "You can't just run off on some whim, to Hollywood, just because you feel like it. You need to get back to the real world and stop dreaming. You sound like some dumb bitch." "Let go of me," Terrence said. His voice went deep and he meant it. Kevin knew all too well how he liked to be sexually dominated, but he didn't want to have sex with him again. 47


Terrence placed his palms on his wide shoulders and tried to push him away, but Kevin resisted. His large hand went down, he rested it on Terrence's ass, and he said, "Stop talking shit and pull down those pants now so I can fuck you." "Kevin," Terrence said, "I'm not doing this now. I'm not pulling down my pants. And I'm going to Hollywood at the end of the month. Now let go of me." But the more he squeezed his ass, the weaker Terrence became. "No" had always meant "yes" with him. He sighed out loud and pressed his face against Kevin's strong, muscular chest. "You just need dick," Kevin said, pulling his semi-erect cock from his jeans. "You like this big dick too much to run off to Hollywood and leave me." "Kevin, stop it," Terrence said. But Kevin's hand started to slide down his pants, cupping his naked ass hard, the way he knew Terrence liked it. Kevin knew how much Terrence loved to please him without expecting anything in return except his strength, his dick and his dominance. Kevin leaned closer and said, "That's it, spread those legs for me." Then he pressed the tip of his middle finger to Terrence's anus and slowly circled it clockwise. Terrence's arms went limp and his knees wobbled. He ran the palm of his left hand along the back of Kevin's wide neck and stroked it lightly with his fingernails. Then Kevin's other hand slid down the back of his pants and the button popped open. He closed his eyes while his jeans fell to his knees. "Go lock the front door," he whispered to Kevin. "Let's leave it open," Kevin said. "Take off your clothes." 48


They should have locked the door; anyone could walk inside. But leaving it open was dangerous and exciting; it made his heart beat faster and his nipples go rigid. So he kicked off his shoes and removed all of his clothes. "That's it, bitch," Kevin said. "Get naked for me. Wiggle that hot ass. I know how you like it." His thick cock was fully erect by then, sticking out of his zipper and pulsing up and down on its own. Terrence stood up on his tiptoes and threw his arms around Kevin's shoulders. When he arched his back and spread his legs, Kevin forced his middle finger into his hole and started to finger-fuck him. Then he lowered his head and bit his neck hard; his three-day stubble was rough against Terrence's soft skin. "Such a sweet ass," Kevin whispered in his deepest voice, inserting a second finger, "So soft and hot, the perfect ass for fucking." Terrence licked the rough stubble beneath his chin while Kevin's two fingers slowly probed his anus. Kevin hadn't showered that morning after his daily workout at the gym, and his underarms smelled like raw onions and meat. Terrence took a deep breath and smiled. "That's it, baby," Kevin said. "I know what you need better than anyone." But it occurred to Terrence that all this tenderness was out of character for Kevin. He would never seduce him in such an articulate way if Terrence hadn't mentioned The American Star Show and going to Hollywood. He usually just pulled 49


down his zipper and said, "Suck me off, bitch." And Terrence always responded without putting up a fight. "Kevin," Terrence said, "I think we should stop. I don't want to do this. Let go of me so I can put my pants back on." But he was swinging from Kevin's shoulders by then. His back was still arched, his legs were still wide open and his breathing was heavy. He knew this was wrong, but he still wanted to do it anyway. Kevin pulled his fingers out and stepped back. "Bend over the counter and spread your legs, bitch," Kevin said. Then he reached for some lotion and spread it all over his cock. He spoke fast; he didn't bother to light a cigarette this time. Terrence did as he was told, and when the tip of Kevin's cock slipped inside his body, his head went back and his mouth fell open. He started to moan, "Yes ... oh man, yes." Kevin slammed it all the way inside and said, "How's that, bitch?" "Yes," he said, "Fuck me now. Deep and hard and fast." He was still on his toes and his legs were spread as far as they would go so Kevin could ride him with ease. He began to buck his hips fast. The counter wobbled and a few lotion displays fell to the floor. Terrence reached between his legs and started to jerk off; he could tell by the way Kevin was fucking that this wouldn't take long. Kevin didn't pause and his fucking motions didn't slow down. His balls slapped against Terrence's ass and his thighs banged into the backs of his legs so hard Terrence's head started to jerk back and forth. Then his eyes rolled and his tongue fell out of his 50


mouth. Kevin had strong, powerful legs—when he fucked non-stop this way, he was fucking to climax. "I'm close," Kevin said. "I'm gonna blow soon." Kevin had the ability to either prolong his orgasm or release it fast. He knew how to control his dick better than anyone Terrence had ever known. Terrence was close, too. "Go, man," he said. "Fuck me hard, man." His own climax was building; each time Kevin's cock slammed into his prostate, he got closer. Kevin grabbed Terrence by the waist with both hands, shoved his dick all the way up his ass, and closed his eyes. When he came, he moaned out loud and a drop of perspiration fell from his forehead to Terrence's back. Terrence tugged his cock a few times and climaxed all over the back of the counter. He hadn't jerked off or had sex since Saturday with Jude, so there was a two day build-up of come in his body. A moment after they came, Terrence knew this had been a mistake. He should have said no to Kevin. He took a deep breath and sighed. He was still bent over the counter and Kevin's dick was still all the way up his hole. When Kevin deposited the last of his load, the front door opened wide and Emma crossed through the door. When she saw Terrence's naked torso leaning against the counter and Kevin right behind him with his hands clutching Terrence's hips, she pressed her palm to her mouth. Her eyes bugged out and she said, "I'll come back later, guys." Then she turned and left. "Oh shit," Terrence said, "We should have locked the fucking door." 51


Kevin laughed and slapped his ass a few times. "Ah, fuck her," he said. "She needs to get fucked, too." He was holding him tight, still shoving his cock in and out. "C'mon, Kevin," Terrence said. "Pull your dick out, so I can clean up and get dressed." He wasn't worried about Emma. He knew she wouldn't be offended. If anything, she'd laugh about this for years. He'd already told her about The American Star Show, and she knew he was planning to tell Kevin all about it that morning. If she was shocked, it was because Kevin was still fucking him at all. When he was dressed and clean, Terrence crossed back to the lobby and said, "I hope you don't think I've changed my mind just because you fucked me this morning." Kevin picked up his car keys from the counter and said, "If you go to Hollywood, I'm firing you." His voice wasn't loud; it was low and stern. Terrence shook his head. "I've been working here for five years and I've never taken a day off for anything. I worked once with a horrible toothache just to be sure the place was covered. I even worked a few hours the day my mother died. But this is important to me, and I'm going to Hollywood. If you fire me, then fine." "You came to work that day because you care more about my dick than you do about toothaches," Kevin said, "You blew me that night, if you remember. You actually begged to suck me off. Oh yeah, baby, you wanted dick and you wanted it bad. And you wanted me, because I made you feel better that night." 52


Terrence sighed. Kevin was right about that. He'd sucked him off in spite of the toothache, without thinking twice. He'd been really horny that night. "I'm going to Hollywood and I'm doing this audition," he said. His voice was even and flat, and he stared directly into Kevin's blue eyes. Kevin lowered his head and said, "What about us? Me and you?" "Seriously, man?" Terrence asked. "You've been fucking around on me for years. We both know that. I'm not a complete idiot, Kevin. And I do have some feelings left." There was so little left between them as a couple, it didn't seem right to even argue the point. They both knew their relationship had ended a while back, and they'd been going through the motions simply because the sex was both familiar and very good. "I should have dumped you a long time ago," Kevin said, backing toward the door. Terrence shrugged his shoulders and said, "If that's what you want to tell people, that you dumped me today, that's fine with me. I don't really care. But I am going to Hollywood with or without your support, Kevin." This was the first time he'd ever stood up to Kevin. His breathing was steady and his heartbeat was slow and even. He stepped forward and leaned over the counter, then he stared into Terrence's face. His hot breath smelled like stale cigarette smoke. He raised his hands in the air and said, "If you want to go to Hollywood and dream your life away, then go. But I hope you don't think you're going to get what you 53


want by spreading your legs and bending over for all the guys out there, because the competition is rough, baby." Kevin had never been out of New Hope, and here he was telling Terrence about what life was like in Hollywood. "Well, I'm going. It's time for a change," Terrence said. "Will you at least stay on until you can find a replacement for yourself?" Kevin asked. "After all, that's the least you can do." Terrence pressed his lips together and smiled. There was no emotion with Kevin. He didn't beg or plead or talk about trying to save their doomed relationship. Not one tear and no sniffing back. All he cared about was a replacement for his business, so he wouldn't have to work there himself. "I'll get someone else as soon as possible," he said. Before Kevin left, he crossed behind the counter to where Terrence was standing. At first he thought Kevin was going to kiss him goodbye. But he should have known better. Instead, Kevin grabbed him by the back of the neck, pushed his head down between his legs, and said, "You're going to miss this, bitch. It's not easy to find big dick like this." But Terrence didn't say anything, because Kevin had no idea that he'd already found Jude's bigger dick. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Four Jude and Terrence started rehearsing together the next week. Jude would show up at Larry's house after dinner and they'd work until midnight. Larry was there all the time, playing the piano and teaching them everything he'd learned over the years. So there was little time for sex, which was fine with Jude. They didn't totally abstain—Terrence would blow him once or twice a week before he went home. But he wanted more. He wanted Jude to fuck him as often as possible with that huge penis. They were even tested for HIV/AIDS, just to be sure it was safe to fuck without condoms. But when they talked about it at length one night, Jude said he thought it would be best to hold back until the competition was over. Terrence reluctantly agreed to be patient, partly because he was now free to experiment with other men if that's what he wanted to do, and partly because he knew it wouldn't last very long. When he arched his back to bend over on purpose, Jude's eyes always opened wide. He bit his bottom lip and turned away whenever Terrence backed into him by accident, but really on purpose. Terrence suspected Jude couldn't wait to nail him. It was only a matter of time. By the end of the month, Terrence hired Annie Rose to take over his job as manager of the tanning salon. Though she was still overweight, she'd started a strict diet in early September and had lost more than twenty-five pounds. The beginnings of a waistline were there when she wore a belt, 55


and she didn't bang into the walls anymore on her way to the tanning bed. When she heard Terrence was going to Hollywood and that he was looking for a new manager, she almost went down on her knees and groveled for the job. "Doll face," she said, "I have all the time in the world. I know I can do this if you just please give me a chance." Terrence frowned and said, "Annie, I don't know. You have to be discreet in a business like this. And you have to know how to listen. The customers expect it. They will tell you all their troubles. You're like a therapist sometimes." He knew Annie was a bold woman who didn't hesitate to say whatever popped into her head. But he wasn't sure if she was patient enough for the job. And Terrence had grown to know his customers well. They had little quirks that required special treatment. And some needed to be handled with care. When he was gone, he wanted to know they were in good hands. "Holy shit," Annie said. "I can be discreet. And I can sell, too." When he saw how she was smiling and bouncing back and forth, he shook his head and said, "What the hell? You've got the job." She jumped up and down a few times, then she crossed behind the counter and gave him a huge hug. "You won't regret this, kid," she said, "You just go to Hollywood and sing like a son of a bitch and I'll take care of things around here." When it was finally time for he and Larry to leave for Hollywood, the magnitude of his quest finally set in, and he began having doubts. Emma surprised him at the airport. When Terrence saw her standing at the gate with her Louis 56


Vuitton carry-on, he dropped his luggage and said, "What are you doing here?" It was almost too good to be true. "Surprise," she said. "I'm going to Hollywood with you guys." She'd been plotting with Larry for over two weeks, she said, taking time off from her job and booking a ticket on the same flight to Los Angeles. She wore a leopard-print camisole, tight black jeans and six-inch-high heels. "I'm going to offer support, help with your hair and makeup, and maybe even find a man out there for myself." Then she hugged him and added, "And aside from Larry, I'm going to be your biggest supporter." Terrence looked at Larry and shrugged. "You knew about this?" "We wanted to surprise you," he said. "She'll be staying with me, at Bill and Steve's place in Beverly Hills on North Roxbury Drive." He'd already arranged to stay with old friends he'd known for years, an older gay couple he and Terrence's mother had once shared an apartment with when they were all living in Greenwich Village. Bill and Steve were Terrence's godfathers, and when they heard he was going to be auditioning for a new TV show, they couldn't wait to offer their support. It worked out for them, too, because they were leaving for Europe on an extended vacation and Larry could look after their home. Terrence took a deep breath and said, "Thank you, guys. I really need this. I wanted to ask you to come with me, but I didn't want to impose. You have no idea how freaked out I am right now." 57


Emma put her arm around Larry and said, "Hey, we're family. I'd do anything for you. Just like you'd do anything for me." **** When the plane landed in Los Angeles, a tall, expressionless man met Terrence at the gate. He wore a dark business suit that matched his raven black hair, his pushed-in nose looked as if he'd just been in a fight and his dark sunglasses gave a sinister impression. He held a white placard that read, "Terrence Lorenzo." Terrence gave Larry a look; he'd thought they were all going to the hotel in Larry's rented town car. "The network must have sent him to meet you," Larry said. "You'd better go with him or it might look awkward. We'll get our luggage and head over to Bill and Steve's place. I'll call you later." Terrence didn't want to be alone. But he smiled and walked over to the tall man. When he introduced himself, the guy removed his sunglasses and looked him up and down for a moment. Terrence noticed his dark pupils were dilated and one eyebrow went up. He wet his lips and said, "I'm Joe. I'm here to drive you to the hotel." Then he stared at Terrence's legs again and whistled back. Terrence smiled and said, "Thanks." This sort of thing was always happening to him, especially with rough thug types like Joe. It wasn't as if he'd flirted, yet Joe was ready to throw him down on the airport floor and rip his clothes off. He'd once asked Kevin why men did this to him all the time, and 58


Kevin had replied, "Because dudes are always horny, and they can tell when someone loves dick. It's just instinct. You have those full lips and that hot bubble ass. And you look like a slut." At the time, it was Kevin's unique way of complimenting him. But Terrence hadn't been sure whether to thank him or punch him in the nose. Joe and Terrence crossed the airport to baggage claim to pick up his things, then headed outside. Joe told him to wait at the entrance while he brought the car around. When he pulled the large, black SUV up to the curb a few minutes later, he got out and filled the trunk with Terrence's luggage. Then he opened the back door for Terrence. But when Terrence leaned over to get inside, he felt Joe's large hand press against the small of his back. Then the hand went lower and rested on the middle of his ass and squeezed hard. Terrence hesitated for a moment, then wiggled his ass up and down a few times. He hadn't planned on doing anything with Joe, but then it occurred to him that he was now free to do whatever he wanted. He'd just broken up with Kevin, and his relationship with Jude was on hold. There was also the fact that Joe was in his late thirties or early forties and Terrence had never been with an older man. So when Joe pulled away from the curb, Terrence leaned forward in the back seat and asked, "Do you mind if I take off my pants for a minute? I'd like to get more comfortable." The windows were tinted and he knew no one could see inside. Joe's head jerked back and the car swerved for a second. He clearly hadn't expected Terrence to offer to strip down in the back seat. He'd probably thought this was all harmless 59


flirting. He smiled and said, "Baby, you take off whatever you want." So while he drove to a remote section of the airport to park, Terrence removed all his clothes. By the time he was nude, Joe had pulled into a parking space, slammed the car into gear and climbed over the front seat. His eyes were glazed over and his breathing was heavy. His dark eyes darted back and forth, taking in every last inch of Terrence's nude body. He placed his large hands on Terrence's naked waist and pushed him back against the black leather seat. He was over six feet tall and very strong; Terrence wrapped his arms around his wide shoulders and submitted completely. When he was flat on his back, Joe pinned him to the seat and shoved his thick tongue into his mouth. He pushed it in deep and hard, then rolled it around in circles. Terrence stuck out his tongue out as far as it would go and followed his every move. Joe's lips were warm and rugged, and his two-day stubble burned Terrence's chin. Joe was a sloppy, wet kisser, and he tasted like peppermint and coffee. When Terrence lifted his smooth legs and wrapped them around Joe's waist, he asked, "Do you have a condom?" He thought about sucking him off, but Joe was already dry humping him, desperate to get inside. Joe nodded yes, then leaned forward and started kissing his neck. His rough stubble sent chills through Terrence's entire body. His legs went higher and he pressed his palms hard against Joe's strong back. "Put on the condom and fuck me," Terrence whispered. It never seemed to fail: the most 60


dominant guys were always the ones who took orders the best. Joe sat up and reached into the center console for a prelubed condom. He tore the package open with his teeth, unzipped his black pants and pulled his erection out through the opening of pale blue boxer shorts. His dick wasn't as large as Kevin's or Jude's, but it was above average in length, rock solid, and had a nice, subtle curve. While he covered his cock with the condom, Terrence spread his legs wide and pressed his toes against the roof of the SUV. Then he licked two fingers and reached down between his own legs and fingered his hole a few times while Joe watched. Joe bit his bottom lip and grabbed his dick. Then he went forward and pressed the tip to Terrence's wet opening. "Just shove it in and start fucking," Terrence whispered. "Don't worry about being gentle." Normally, he never would have said something like this to a guy, but he figured since he'd probably never see Joe again, he might as well be as honest as possible. Besides, he hadn't been fucked in almost a month, not since Kevin had fucked him over the counter. And he needed to get slammed hard and fast today. Joe's eyes grew wide and he smiled. "You are one hot little fucker," he said. Then he shoved the tip of his cock into the pink opening and slammed it all the way up Terrence's ass with one sudden plunge. There was a glorious instant of pain that shot from the lips of Terrence's anus all the way up to his scrotum. Then the pain transitioned into a feeling of complete fullness for which he'd been longing. His eyes rolled back and his body jerked a 61


few times when he inhaled Joe's inexpensive cologne. It wasn't strong, but it smelled like musk and spices, like a man should smell if he were to wear cologne of any kind. And Joe knew how to fuck. He leaned forward, pressed his palms on either side of Terrence's shoulders and starting bucking his hips with a constant, steady tempo. Then he did something that sent shivers up Terrence's spine. While he fucked and slammed his hole, he stuck his tongue into his mouth and started kissing. No one had ever kissed and fucked Terrence at the same time. The men he'd been with had always preferred to nail him doggie style. While they kissed, their tongues went in wet, rapid circles, swallowing each other's spit and coming back for more. Terrence's legs spread even wider, and he braced his toes against the roof so hard he knocked the plastic cover off the overhead light. Then Joe started to bang even harder. The SUV rocked back and forth and Terrence's hole vibrated with a million exotic sensations. Terrence knew Joe was close—he always knew—so he reached down and grabbed his own cock and began to jerk off so they could climax together. Joe's tongue continued to go in circles and he moaned inside Terrence's mouth a few times. At the exact moment he climaxed, he sucked Terrence's tongue so hard that Terrence closed his eyes and grabbed his bicep. Joe filled the condom and grunted a few times, shoving his dick so far inside that his thighs rubbed against the backs of Terrence's silky legs. Terrence's orgasm was just as intense—he blew his load all over his chest while his balls popped up into his scrotum. 62


When Joe finally pulled out, he said, "Thanks." Then he slapped his ass a few times. Terrence sat up and smiled. He should have been thanking him; he'd needed that. But he laughed and said, "You're welcome." Then he reached down to gather his clothes and said, "I'd better put my pants on now. I don't think the producers would like it if I showed up at the hotel in the nude. American Star is a family show, from what I hear." Joe shoved his cock back into his pants and pulled up his zipper. Then he ran his large hand up the inside of Terrence's leg, and said, "Baby, if you sing as good as you fuck, I don't think they'll mind." **** Joe thanked him again outside the hotel and said, "If anyone fucks around with you while you're out here, just call me and I'll take care of them, baby." Then he handed Terrence his business card and gave him a quick pat on the ass. Terrence rested his palm on his stomach and smiled. He looked like a young version of Frank Sinatra. "I will. You're a nice guy, Joe." Then he picked up his luggage and crossed into the lobby. His legs felt lighter now and the heavy luggage didn't bother him at all. He crossed to the main desk and took his place in line behind a young woman with brassy blond hair, fake eyelashes and bright red lip gloss. He couldn't help overhearing that her name was Payton Dugan, along with the entire conversation she was having with the desk clerk. Her voice went high as 63


she demanded extra towels, extra conditioner for her hair, and plenty of shampoo. "And you'd better send for a bellhop," Payton said. "I'm not carrying my own luggage." The desk clerk smiled, a middle-aged woman with steady hands and a large bosom. She handed Payton a key and said, "I'll have someone down in just a moment, after I check in the customer behind you." Payton sighed, then stepped aside so Terrence could check in. She folded her arms across her large chest and tapped long red fingernails against her upper arm. At first Terrence had her pegged as a diva, but after he noticed her tattered old luggage—yellow, with black stripes and frayed edges—he wasn't sure what to think. So he stepped up to the desk and said, "I'm Terrence Lorenzo. I'm with The American Star Show." The desk clerk smiled and said, "Then I'll check you in right away, and you can both go up together. This young lady is also with the show." When Payton heard Terrence was with the show, her voice went soft and she turned on a heavy, sweet southern accent. "Golly, this is so cool," she said. "I didn't think I'd meet anyone from the show so soon. I'm Payton Dugan, from West Virginia." "I'm Terrence Lorenzo," he said, "from Bucks County, Pennsylvania." He extended his right hand, but her wrist went limp and he shook her fingertips instead of the entire hand. What did she want him to do? Kiss her hand? She wore a yellow and gray halter top, a skimpy white miniskirt made out 64


of vinyl, and white platform shoes. On her right shoulder, there was a yellow and green tattoo of a pineapple. They sent a tall, young bellhop with a cart. He had a large nose, acne and long, slender legs. He also had a sloppy, sexy quality that Terrence couldn't overlook. Without even looking at his crotch, he sensed this guy had a huge dick with a large mushroom-shaped head. But Payton didn't care about his looks. She treated him like a personal slave. When they crossed to the elevator, she lowered her voice and said, "Speed it up, hon. I don't have all day. I'd like to take a long nap before dinner." The bellhop smiled at Payton, and exchanged a look with Terrence. When they were inside the elevator, Payton said, "I don't remember you from the New York auditions." The bellhop dropped a piece of her luggage and she glared at him. "I was the next-to-last audition that day," Terrence said. He stared at the elevator buttons with his hands in his pockets, smiling and rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. "Golly," Payton said. "I was one of the first, and Marco said to me, he said, 'You have what it takes to be in a competition like this.' He just loved me to death, sugar." The bellhop rolled his eyes. "Ah well," Terrence said. "Isn't that nice?" There wasn't much else he could say to that. The elevator came to a halt and the door opened. The bellhop led them down a long hallway and stopped at Payton's room first. While he removed her bags from the cart and carried them into her room, Terrence noticed that she 65


was looking him up and down. "Is everything okay?" he asked. He wondered if his zipper was down, or if there were come stains on his shirt. He'd gotten dressed so fast in the back seat, he wasn't sure. "I was just wondering if there would be more homosexuals like you in the competition," she said. "But I don't mean that in a bad way, hon." The bellhop's eyes grew large and he looked at Terrence for a response. Terrence smiled. His mother had taught him how to handle a bitch. "Golly," he said, with a mock Southern accent, "I don't know. But we're all over the place now. Why, I'll bet you even have them in West Virginia, hon." The bellhop smiled and looked at the ceiling. Payton pressed her lips together and crossed into her room without saying anything else. When the skinny bellhop took him to his room, Terrence was still a little horny. So when he carried the last piece of luggage into the room, Terrence closed the door and started removing his clothes. "I hope you don't mind," he said. "It's been a long day and I just want to get naked." The bellhop's eyes bugged and his mouth fell open. But he didn't move a muscle. He just stood there staring with shiny eyes and an erection growing between his legs. When Terrence was nude, he crossed toward the bellhop, leaned his back into the guy's chest and shoved his round bubble ass into his crotch. Then he moved around slowly, lapdance style. As he wiggled his ass up and down, he felt a huge erection through the guy's pants. The bellhop stood still 66


with his hands glued to his sides, not knowing what to make of this sudden turn of events. So Terrence reached down, lifted his shaking hands and placed them both on his ass. At first he patted Terrence's ass with caution, almost terrified to let himself go. But a moment later, he was squeezing and massaging so hard that Terrence had to close his eyes and take a deep breath. He grabbed the bellhop's hand and led him toward the bed. He pushed him and he fell across the bedcover, landing flat on his back. Terrence climbed onto the bed and straddled his long legs. He didn't have a condom and he knew he wasn't going to fuck again. So he leaned forward and pulled the guy's zipper down. When he reached into his pants and grabbed his cock, the guy closed his eyes and moaned. He pulled his dick and balls out of his pants at the same time. It was just as large, and the head was just as solid and round as he'd expected it would be. He opened his mouth, stuck out his tongue and wrapped his lips around the head. When his cheeks indented and his head started bobbing up and down, the bellhop pressed his hands on top of Terrence's head and moaned again. Terrence knew it wouldn't take long to suck him off; he'd been ready to explode the minute he'd pulled it out of his pants. So he grabbed his own dick and started jerking and sucking at the same time. And when the bellhop's legs began to jerk back and forth, Terrence stopped sucking, and said, "Finish yourself off while I suck your balls." He wanted to finish him off, but knew that wouldn't have been the safest thing to do. 67


The bellhop leaned forward and grabbed his dick with his left hand, and Terrence opened his mouth and sucked both balls up at the same time. They tasted sweet and smelled like baby powder. The bellhop moaned a few times, his balls got tighter and he blew a load that shot right Terrence's head and landed on the bed cover. Terrence came a second later, still rolling the young guy's balls around in his mouth. He came on the bed cover, between the guy's legs, so he wouldn't mess up his work pants. A moment later, the bellhop shoved his dick back into his pants and stood from the bed. "Thanks, man," he said. Terrence stood and crossed the room to open the draperies. He was still naked and had no intention of getting dressed again until it was time to leave the room. "You're welcome," he said, stretching his arms all the way up in front of the window. He knew the guy was staring at him. "I have to get back to work," the bellhop said. "But I'll send someone up to change the bed as soon as I get downstairs. I guess I made a mess." He was smiling now, his wide shoulders straight. He seemed a bit taller. Terrence crossed back to where he was standing and kissed him on the neck. "Don't worry about that," he said. "They can change it tomorrow like they normally do. I don't mind. I'll think about your big dick tonight when I go to bed." The bellhop smiled so wide, Terrence could see his upper gums. "You just let me know if there's anything you need while you're here," he said, "I'll personally get it for you. Anything, just call me." 68


The guy was such a sweetheart, Terrence couldn't resist kissing his neck again. "Thank you," he said. "I will." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Five The American Star Show had been well planned in advance. For the semi-final competition in Hollywood that would be broadcasted on live television, the three judges had selected ten contestants in six major cities. Only two contestants from each city would go on to the final competition, leaving twelve final contestants. In the semifinals, each group of ten from a city would perform during a one-hour show, one song for each contestant. Viewers would watch them sing, listen to the judges' comments and at the end of the show, they would call a toll-free number to vote for their favorite performer. The two winners would be announced the next night on a half-hour results show. It was a long season for a TV show: six weeks for the semi-finals and twelve for the finals—about five weeks longer than most traditional TV show seasons. But the network was banking on a huge hit and they were willing to take the chance. The day after Terrence arrived in Hollywood, he woke at five in the morning so he could meet the other nine contestants from New York in the hotel lobby. When he stepped out of the elevator and saw Jude standing with a group of other people, his heart jumped a few beats and he smiled. He was sorry he was only wearing a baseball cap and an old sweatshirt. Jude was near the door talking to Payton Dugan, waiting for a van that would shuttle the contestants to the studio for a long day of rehearsal. 70


Terrence crossed the lobby and walked up behind him. "Hey, how was your flight?" he asked. Jude and his parents had taken a later flight the day before. Jude turned and smiled. "Excellent," he said. "No delays." He didn't jump up and down and he didn't hug him. They had both agreed ahead of time that while they were contestants on the show, they would keep the intimate details of their personal lives as quiet as possible. This was partly because they weren't sure how America would react to having gay contestants on a family-oriented TV show, and partly because they only wanted to be judged on their singing talents. But it didn't take long for Terrence to see that Payton Dugan wasn't worried about hiding her feelings for Jude. She gazed up and down at his body, batting her false eyelashes and jiggling her large round breasts in his face. When she saw that Terrence already knew him, she stood between them, turned her back to Terrence, and said, "I'm so nervous about all this. If I need any help, Jude, can I come to you?" Jude looked down at her and smiled, then assured her he'd be there to help her along every step of the way. Terrence just bit his lip and held back the urge to gag. **** By the end of the last day of rehearsal that week, Terrence was exhausted. They'd been rehearsing with instructors and directors and producers fourteen hours a day for five days in a row by then. It wasn't as difficult as the final round of the competition would be, because they were only working with piano accompaniment in the semi-finals and not a live 71


orchestra, but everything had to be perfect. Now, all he wanted to do was go back to his hotel room and sleep. His feet ached, his throat was sore and his eyes were so heavy he could barely keep them open. But as the contestants were boarding the van to return to the hotel, he overheard Payton ask Jude, "Do you think you could stop by my room tonight? I need some extra help with my song, and you're so smart and talented I thought you might be able to help." Her voice was soft and breathy, and she giggled and brushed the tips of her long red fingernails along his forearm. Jude gave Terrence a look, then said, "Ah well, I guess so." His voice stammered a little and he stared down at his shoes. Terrence put his hands in his pockets and clenched his fists. He knew she was trying to get into Jude's pants and he wasn't going to let that happen without a fight. For all he knew, Jude could be bi-sexual. So he said, "I could use some help, too, Jude. Why don't we all meet in my room and the three of us can rehearse tonight?" Jude took a deep breath and said, "Great idea." Payton lowered her head and said, "Ah, what fun. Maybe we can build a campfire and roast marshmallows while we're at it." Her voice went lower than normal and she lost some of her sweet Southern accent in the transition. "Well," Terrence said, looking down at her thighs, "we don't need any extra calories before a show, hon." She really wasn't overweight at all—she had a perfect hourglass figure. But he knew the comment would bother her. 72


She arrived at Terrence's door later that night wearing a sheer black teddy and high-heeled slippers with fuzzy black pompons. He could practically see through the fur-rimmed camisole. Her large tits had pointy nipples. Her breasts reminded Terrence of party hats. Poor Jude—he remained expressionless all night, staring down at the floor with knitted eyebrows whenever Payton flirted with him. When Terrence saw how disinterested he was in her, and that he wasn't flirting back, he stopped worrying. The only thing Jude was interested in that night was rehearsing music for the live show the next night. The big problem for Terrence was Payton's voice. Though she had perfect pitch and could sing almost anything, her tone was high and scratchy and it reminded him of a broken fan belt on an old car. He wanted to cover his ears and run from the room. They wound up rehearsing until one in the morning, until Payton finally fell back on the bed and said, "I have to go back to my room and sleep now." Jude's eyes were still wide open and his voice was clear and strong. "Are you sure you got the help you needed tonight?" When it came to the show, he was all business and no fun. "Honey," she said, "I not only know my song, but I swear I'm going to be hearing old Terrence's song in my sleep tonight." Then she stood and crossed toward the door, staggering in the high-heeled slippers. "I'll see you both in the morning. I'm dog tired." 73


When she was gone, Terrence reached down and squeezed Jude's crotch a few times. "Now that's she's gone, I can get naked and sit on your lap," he said. He hadn't been fucked since he'd been with Joe the driver. Jude stood and said, "I think we should just get a good night's sleep and talk about this after the show tomorrow night. I'm already crazy about you, in case you haven't noticed. If I fuck you now, it's all over and I'm afraid I won't be able to concentrate on my music." But before he could finish his sentence, Terrence was on his knees unzipping his jeans. "Then at least let me blow you for good luck. No fucking," he said. Then he opened his mouth wide and wrapped his lips around the head. He knew Jude wouldn't be able to resist that. **** The next day Emma came backstage and helped Terrence prepare for the first live show. She had plenty of his two favorite things: chocolate and hair product. They hadn't seen each other in five days, but it felt more like fifty. He hugged her as tight as he could and dragged her into a dressing room so they could talk dirty while she worked on his hair and makeup. He told her all about fucking Joe the driver, sucking off the young bellhop, and meeting Payton Dugan. She dropped the comb and gasped when he went into details about Joe—she loved the part about him getting naked in the back seat—and she nearly choked on her Diet Coke when he mentioned the bellhop. But when he told her about Payton, she said, "Watch out for that one. She sounds like real 74


trouble. Trust me, I'm a woman. I know these things." Then she patted him on the back and said, "Don't turn your back on her for a second." Emma did a wonderful job on his hair that night. Though she'd wanted him to wear something that would really stand out, he'd decided to wear a black blazer, a white shirt and faded jeans. Terrence had always been conservative, sticking with simple clothes that were usually black, white or beige. When she was finished putting the final touches on his makeup, which was so natural he didn't look like he was wearing any makeup at all, he thanked her and said, "Now I've got to go to the bathroom. The last thing I need is to pee my pants on live television." She hugged him again as tight as she could. "I'm going out in the audience with Larry. And I'll be screaming as loud as I can for you." He hugged back and said, "Love you." The men's room was empty, but he decided to use a private stall anyway. His heart was beating fast and his legs felt a little shaky again. And the only place to just sit alone and collect his thoughts was in the privacy of a bathroom stall. Then he heard the bathroom door open and two other people walked inside. He didn't give it a second thought until he heard someone whisper, "Over there. Get in that stall and let's get this over with fast." They went into the stall right next to his, closed the door and shuffled around for a few seconds. When he heard the sound of a zipper being pulled down, his eyes opened wide and he leaned into the wall. Then a familiar voice said, "Whip 75


it out, hon. I don't have all night." He blinked twice. One of the people in the next stall was Payton Dugan. He'd know her nasal voice anywhere. There was a moment of silence, then a man's voice said, "Oh, yeah," followed by the sounds of slurping and sucking. Well! Terrence pulled up his pants, lowered the toilet seat and stepped up on the lid as quietly as he could. When he leaned over and looked down into the next stall, he saw Payton Dugan giving head to the same piano player who would be playing that night while the contestants sang. She was sucking so hard her eyes squinted. He had a big dick and she took the whole thing to the back of her throat without gagging. He was a bald, chubby man in his late fifties who had more hair growing from his nose than the top of his head. Why on Earth would she be blowing him? Maybe she was into older guys. Terrence shrugged his shoulders and quietly stepped out of the stall so they wouldn't hear him. When he returned to the holding room, Jude was waiting for him. "Where were you?" he asked. Terrence smiled and shook his head. He'd begun to notice Jude had a tendency to be possessive. "I'll tell you all about it later." But he did pull out his cell phone so he could textmessage Emma about what he'd just seen. And she replied, "Told you. She's trouble. Watch her." Brian Masters opened the show wearing casual jeans and a black T-shirt. But his smooth, even voice and his natural ability to take command of the show made it all appear as professional and formal as Oscar night. Unfortunately, when 76


the TV cameras were on, the contestants went into shock. Some forgot the words to their songs; others couldn't remain on pitch. The judges' comments after each performance were dismal at best. Marco Lennington just folded his arms across his chest and frowned after the first two singers performed. Then, almost two-thirds of the way into the show, Brian said, "Welcome back, folks. Please welcome your eighth contestant, Miss Payton Dugan from West Virginia." Payton rose from the sofa in the holding room and breezed onto the stage. She wore a black miniskirt, black stilettos and a leopard tube top. She probably thought that if they didn't notice her voice, at least they'd notice her great body. While the audience applauded, she took her place on stage and reached for the microphone. When the piano started playing the intro to her song, Terrence's head jerked back and he gripped the seat cushion so hard a fingernail turned back. The pianist wasn't playing the song she'd rehearsed all week. He was playing Terrence's song. Terrence gave Jude a look from across the room and shrugged his shoulders, hoping this had all been a mistake and the pianist would switch songs quickly. But Payton took a deep breath and started to sing his song instead of hers. That's when it finally occurred to him that she'd been blowing the pianist in the men's room so he'd let her switch songs at the last minute. He sat on the sofa and stared down at his shoes. His stomach turned inside out while he wondered what to do next. But this time, his hands weren't shaking and his knees 77


didn't feel weak. If anything, he felt strong enough to lift the sofa and drop it on top of Payton's bleached blond head. When she was finished singing, the audience gave her a standing ovation. She'd managed to give an almost flawless performance, which made Terrence clench his fists even harder. Rocko and Priscilla praised her, but Marco said, "That was very good. But I'm confused. Was that the song you'd planned to sing all along?" Evidently, Marco was paying attention to all the details that surrounded his show. Payton smiled. "Well, golly gosh," she said, laying on the sweet Southern accent, "I was planning to sing something else, but at the last minute, Terrence insisted I sing this song. He said it was perfect for my voice, and I trusted his judgment. I hope that was okay?" Terrence's head was ready to explode by then. His cell phone began to vibrate in his pocket. Emma had sent a text from the audience that read, "WTF?" She'd been there for dress rehearsal and she'd heard his song; she knew something was wrong. He quickly sent back another text that read, "She fucked me over. Send Larry backstage. Now." Marco lowered his eyebrows and said, "Well, I must admit Terrence was right about the song. So far, you've been the best performer. But from now on, please stick to the program and don't switch songs at the last minute." The audience started to boo and hiss his comment. Priscilla sighed and said, "So they switched songs. Big deal. It all worked out." Marco didn't reply. He just pressed his index finger to his lips and raised an eyebrow. But when the show cut to a 78


commercial break, he stood up and crossed backstage to find the director. Terrence was already talking to the director when Marco asked, "Did you switch songs with her?" Terrence shook his head and said, "No. She stole it." "She can be disqualified for that," the director said. Then he threw his hands in the air and shook them around. "You can't sing the same song." He started to pace back and forth. His face turned red and his hands started to shake. "Oh, knock it off," Marco said. "We don't need histrionics now. We only have a minute to settle this." His Australian accent became thicker when he was annoyed. Terrence saw Larry standing in the holding room and he motioned for him to come closer. "I have an idea," he said, "but you have to trust me." He didn't want to cause any problems. He just wanted to sing. If the story got out that Payton had stolen his song, it would be bad publicity for the show. Everyone would suffer. When Larry stepped up beside him, Marco raised both eyebrows. "Hello," he said, "What are you doing here? Aren't you Larry Levin?" "Hey, Marco," Larry said, "Yes, I'm Larry Levin. We worked together once on an album a while back. I'm Terrence's stepfather." Terrence quickly explained to Larry what had happened, then asked Marco, "Can he play for me tonight? I have another song I can sing, but I need Larry to accompany me just this one time." He looked at Larry and said, "I'll do the Peter Allen song." 79


Marco gave the director a look, then shrugged his shoulders and said, "I don't see why not. As long as it will save the show, I'm fine with it. I know that as long as Larry Levin is playing, I have nothing to worry about." Then he looked at the director and said, "No one else needs to know about any of this." "Let's get moving then," the director said. He pointed to Terrence, "You get ready to go on as soon as Brian announces you." Then he grabbed Larry and said, "And you follow me to the piano and we'll get you settled there." When Larry and the director were gone, Marco rubbed his chin and asked, "What about Payton Dugan?" Terrence took a low breath and looked him in the eye. "Let it go. I don't want anyone else to know about this. If it gets out, it could ruin the show's credibility. I'll take care of Payton Dugan on my own, trust me." When the show returned, Marco was back in his judge's chair, Larry was seated behind the piano and Terrence waited to be introduced. No one would have guessed there had been any problems backstage, and Payton had mysteriously disappeared. Brian announced his name and Larry began the intro to his song. It was an old Peter Allen song that he'd written as a tribute for Judy Garland. Larry and Terrence had been rehearsing the song for years, never knowing that one day, they'd be doing it together on live television. It was one of those songs that began with soft, quiet notes and slowly continued to build toward a grand climax, until everyone in the audience was swaying back and forth and applauding. 80


Terrence received a standing ovation, longer than Payton's. Both Rocko and Priscilla praised his performance and his song choice. Then Marco said, "I knew Peter Allen, and I think he would have liked the way you performed that song. Well done." He didn't go overboard with praise like Rocko and Priscilla, but Terrence could see by the way he was smiling and looking at him that he wanted to say more. Terrence thanked them all and walked off the stage so Brian could introduce Jude. No one even noticed that Larry had taken over the piano for that one song. He quietly slipped back into the audience as if he'd never been on stage. Though Terrence was a tough act to follow, Jude received a standing ovation, too. The song he chose leaned more toward hard rock, which was his comfort zone. He wore ripped jeans, a white dress shirt and heavy boots with thick heels. His deep, throaty voice made the women in the audience swoon, and the men waved their fists and hooted at the end. The judges loved him, and Marco said, "It looks like the last three contestants saved the show from complete disaster." After the show, Larry and Emma came backstage, along with with Jude's mother and father, to congratulate them both. Jude's father was a heavyset man who worked as a music teacher in a high school, and his mother was a stern woman who took care of the house. Their eyes lit up when they hugged him; his mother kept pressing her hand to her throat and shaking her head. Emma jumped up and down, rubbing her hands together. "I loved it," she said. "That song was even better than the 81


first one you chose." Then she put her hands on her hips and looked around the holding room. "Where is that bitch?" she whispered to Terrence. "I'd like to meet her." Terrence shrugged. "Who knows? I don't really care. It turned out better then I thought it would, and I probably should be thanking her for stealing the song. So if anyone asks, tell them I did give her my song at the last minute." "Smart move," Larry said. "You're right. It all worked out for the best." Terrence hugged him hard. "Thanks to you," he said, "I don't know what I would have done without you tonight." Larry waved him off. "Hey, c'mon. We're family." But when Larry waved his arm and leaned back, Terrence turned for a moment and saw Brian Masters running toward them. He ran out from the wings, with his elbows bent and his fists clenched. He barreled between Terrence and Larry, shoving Terrence to the side with his right hand, and pushed Larry backwards with his left hand as hard as he could. Larry landed on the sofa, and Brian landed right on top of him just as a huge metal star fell from the ceiling. It crashed to the floor, point first, in the exact spot where Larry had been standing before Brian had shoved him. The room went silent. Jude's mother stood there with her mouth open and her hands in the air, staring down at them. When Larry finally lifted his head from the sofa, Brain lifted his head from Larry's chest and asked, "Are you okay? I didn't mean to pounce on you like that, but I saw that the star was about to break from the cable and I just started running." 82


Larry smiled and said, "Actually, I've never been better." He looked at Terrence and winked. **** Larry took everyone out to dinner that night, including Brian Masters. Terrence thought Brian would naturally refuse. Why would he want to go out to dinner with the contestants and their parents? But it turned out that he was a huge fan of Larry's. He owned most of Larry's solo albums, and he'd had no idea that when he'd saved him from the falling star, he was saving one of his favorite musicians. Larry toasted Terrence and Jude for their wonderful performances, then toasted Brian for saving him from the falling star. He beamed, and there was a sparkle in his eyes Terrence hadn't seen since Donald had been killed in the car accident. At the end of the night, Larry asked Emma to drive his rented town car and drop everyone off at the hotel so he could ride in Brian's car. Terrence gave him a look, but Larry smiled and said, "Don't worry, he's taking me right home." At the hotel, Terrence had been hoping Jude would come to his room that night and throw him down on the bed. He hadn't been fucked in so long, his hole was starting to twitch. It would have been the perfect ending to a wonderful evening. But Jude just gave him a hug, and said, "Tomorrow is a big day. It's the results show, and we'd better get to sleep. We have to be good, and focus." Terrence tried to seduce him. He even whispered into his ear, "If you come back to my room, all you have to do is lie 83


back and close your eyes. I'll get on top, ride your dick and do all the work." Jude smiled and hugged him again. "We'll have plenty of time for that later. But right now, I'm really uptight about the results. I can't think about anything else." Terrence shrugged and said goodnight. He wasn't mad; he liked him too much to get angry. But Terrence wasn't a saint either. And when there was a knock on his door an hour later, he wrapped a bath towel around his waist and opened the door wide. It was the young bellhop who had helped him check into the hotel a week earlier. He was standing there with one of his buddies, a dark Latino guy in his early twenties. The bellhop smiled and said, "My friend and I were wondering if you needed anything." Then he cocked his head and said, "If you needed anything extra tonight. We saw the show and wanted to congratulate you in person." The Latino guy looked Terrence up and down, then pressed his lips together and grinned. The towel around his waist was short—it barely covered his ass. "Actually," Terrence said, "I'm glad you both stopped by. I could use a little help with something." He stood to the side so they could enter, and shut the door. When both guys were in the room, Terrence let the towel slip from his thin waist and crossed to the bed. The bellhop stood there staring, rubbing his crotch with his right hand. But the Latino guy went behind Terrence and grabbed him. He placed his hands on his waist and pulled him backwards. Terrence lifted his arms in the air and arched his back, then leaned into the guy's body and asked, "What's your name?" 84


"Carlos," he said, running his hands up the sides of Terrence's naked torso. His voice was deep and rugged, and his fingers were thick and solid. "I'm Noah," the bellhop said, and Terrence smiled at finally learning his name. "Do you have condoms, Carlos?" Terrence asked, grinding his hips into the guy's pelvis. Carlos leaned forward and bit his neck. "Yes, man. Prelubed, in black." "Sounds hot, man. How old are you guys?" Terrence asked. He wanted to be sure they were both over eighteen. "He's twenty-two and I'm nineteen," Carlos said. He didn't have a strong accent; Terrence had to listen to each word he said to pick it up. Terrence smiled and asked, "Are you guys a couple?" Carlos gave Noah a look and shook his head. Then he said, "No, just buddies is all." So they were both there to take turns on him. "Cool," Terrence said. "Let's have some fun, then." While Noah and Carlos unzipped their pants and covered their cocks with condoms, Terrence slowly climbed onto the bed and reached for a couple of pillows. Then he pressed the pillows to his waist and rested face down on the bed cover. When his legs were spread wide and his ass was up high, Carlos crawled onto the bed and pressed his condom-covered and lubed dick between Terrence's legs. He ran it up and down the crack a few times, then spread his ass cheeks apart and inserted the head. He grabbed both sides of Terrence's ass and squeezed hard. Terrence jerked for a second—it was 85


thicker than he'd expected, and there was a moment of pain. But when Carlos fully mounted him and started bucking his hips, he clutched the bed cover and moaned, "Ah, yes. Go, man." Noah stood and watched while his buddy nailed Terrence to the bed. He held his dick and jerked slowly, waiting for his chance to get inside. It only took about five minutes for Carlos to slam into Terrence's hole and shout, "I'm coming." He started to fuck with rapid, awkward jerks, causing the entire bed to vibrate while Terrence's head jerked around in circles. "Go, man," Terrence said. "Shoot that load." After that, Carlos pulled out and Noah kneeled on the bed behind him for his turn. Terrence remembered his dick well: that large mushroom-shaped head had tasted so ripe and juicy. But when he slipped his cock inside, Terrence was already wide open and there wasn't a hint of pain. He closed his eyes and begged Noah to go deeper. He moaned, "Yes, that's it. Bury that big piece of meat, man." Then he said to Carlos, "Don't pull up your pants yet. Let me suck your balls." Carlos smiled and climbed up on the bed again. He spread his hairy legs and leaned back so Terrence could swallow his balls. Noah fucked differently than Carlos. Where Carlos tended to pull in and out with rapid slams, Noah buried it all the way up his hole so the head rubbed against his prostate with constant vibration. (Terrence had heard it called the A-spot once on television, and he'd been amazed at how many men in the audience didn't even know they had one. Kevin had 86


found Terrence's A-spot in high school, so he'd always known he had one; he just didn't know what to call it.) Terrence reached back and grabbed his own erection and started to jerk, sensing Noah would come quickly. Then he stopped sucking Carlos's balls for a moment and said, "Keep doing that. I'm getting really close." "Me too," said Noah. Terrence opened his mouth and swallowed Carlos's balls again. They tasted salty and smelled a little like apple vinegar. The bellhop's legs began to vibrate and he started hammering his pelvis into Terrence's ass. "I'm gonna come, man," he shouted. "Me too," Terrence said, jerking his cock faster. When Noah climaxed a moment later, Terrence exploded all over the bed cover. Then he continued to jerk and had a second orgasm. Then he pushed Carlos's balls out of his mouth and sighed. His chin was wet with saliva and his hole was slick from the pre-lubed condoms. Noah pulled his dick out and slapped him on the ass. "Thanks, man," he said. "That was awesome." Then Carlos pulled up his pants and said, "Yeah, dude, thanks for that." Terrence smiled and rested his face on the bed cover. "You're welcome, guys." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Six The next morning, Terrence woke up early. Even though it was a results show day and he could have slept a few more hours, he was so used to getting up at five in the morning by now that he couldn't get back to sleep. He switched on the radio and found a local morning talk show. When he raised the volume to see if there was a weather report, the DJ said, "We're going to call Brian Masters, totally unplanned, and ask him a few questions about The American Star Show." The phone rang a few times, then someone picked it up. "Is this Brian Masters?" the DJ asked. "Because this is Trevor Mason at WWLSA radio in Los Angeles, and we'd like to ask a few questions about The American Star Show." There was an awkward moment of silence. Then a man's voice said, "Ah well, I'm the pool boy. I'll get Mr. Masters for you." Terrence sat up straight and his eyes opened wide. Then he reached over and raised the volume even higher. The pool boy sounded just like Larry. He must have spent the night with Brian. Then Brian took the phone and started talking. He answered all the DJ's questions without thinking twice. There was a lilt in his voice, and he even joked around a little. If the DJ had expected to catch Brian off guard and slam the phone down because he'd called him at home, he'd been sorely mistaken. The interview turned out to be a positive plug for the show. When it was finished, Brian thanked him for calling. 88


Terrence called Emma and told her all about the radio interview and Larry pretending to be the pool boy. "I'm not totally shocked," she said. "I was watching them both last night at dinner. Larry couldn't wait to get into Brian's pants." Terrence sighed. "But Larry's got to be twenty years older than Brian. It could be a mid-life crisis. And I'm not sure I like the fact that he had to pretend to be the pool boy." "Oh relax," she said. "Larry looks much younger, and it's been a long time since he's had any fun. I wouldn't even mention you heard the radio show unless he mentions it first. I know I'm not saying a word to anyone." "I guess you're right," he said. Then he changed the subject and told her all about his night with Noah and Carlos. She screamed into the phone when he told her about how they both thanked him afterward. "I can't believe the guys from the hotel staff are now taking turns tagging you, and I can't even get a dinner date out here." "If it makes you feel any better," he said, "I do feel kind of guilty." "Why?" "Because of Jude," he said. "We aren't a couple, and haven't talked about a relationship seriously, but I really like him." "Sweetie," she said, "you need some fun, too. So stop feeling guilty. Right now you are as free as the breeze to do whatever you want." When he hung up with Emma, he took a long, hot bubble bath and masturbated with his favorite dildo—he'd packed it carefully so airport security wouldn't find it. The hotel tub was 89


perfect. There were two wide ledges on either side so he could lift his legs and rest his feet in a solid position. He shouldn't have been horny that morning, not after Carlos and Noah. But he was. It occurred to him he'd had sex so often with Kevin that he'd been taking it for granted. When he was dressed and ready to head downstairs to the studio van, he called Annie Rose back in New Hope. It was around eight o'clock East Coast time and he knew she'd be opening up. He wasn't exactly sure why he was calling, but he'd been worried about Annie and how the job was working out. But it turned out that Annie was doing just fine. "I love working here," she told him. "Kevin is the best boss I've ever had." "Huh?" "He's the best," she repeated. "After you left, he started this entire life change. He jogs every morning, five miles. He's only eating proteins and he's stopped drinking and smoking. And he couldn't be nicer to me." "Ah well," Terrence said, shaking his head. This didn't sound like the same Kevin he'd always known. "I'm glad things are working out," he said. "I have to get going now. I just called to see if everything was okay." "It was good to hear from you," Annie said. She was shouting, as though talking coast to coast required that. "And you were wonderful last night. A group of us got together last night and watched the entire show at my house, and we all voted for you afterwards. Kevin was there, too. I can't wait to tell everyone you called." 90


"Thanks, Annie," he said. "I'll talk to you soon." **** Rehearsal for the results show was casual. The director told everyone where to sit, where to stand and what to do, which was nothing more than following Brian Masters's lead for thirty minutes. For the most part, they'd all be sitting there on bleachers, waiting for Brian to read the results. Payton Dugan managed to avoid being alone with Terrence all day. She surrounded herself with other contestants and hardly even looked in his direction, which was fine with him. He'd decided in the bathtub he wasn't even going to confront her; he'd let the entire incident go and pretend that nothing had happened. Payton wasn't worth the time or the energy. But he'd also never turn his back on her again. Jude paced back and forth in the holding room all afternoon. He kept looking at his watch and sighing out loud. When no one was around, Terrence patted his thigh and said, "Stop worrying so much. Some things are out of your control." "It's just that I want to move on to the next round of the competition so badly, and this waiting is killing me," he said, running his hand through his hair. "I couldn't even sleep last night. I was on the phone with my mother for two hours." "Ah well," Terrence said. He'd slept so well the covers had barely moved on his bed. And that was thanks to bellhop Noah and his buddy, Carlos. Dick had always been able to relax him. When his mother had been dying of cancer, and he'd been so stressed out from it all he could barely eat, he'd 91


asked Kevin to fuck him twice a day just to take the edge off. Being that Kevin had always been so horny, he didn't mind taking advantage of Terrence's stressed-out condition. "You should have come back to my room," Terrence joked now. "You would have been snoring like an old train after I got finished with you." "Lower your voice," Jude said while his eyes darted back and forth. "We can't let anyone even think we're talking like this. It could ruin both our careers in music." Then he sighed and said, "We'll get together soon. I promise. But we have to sneak around." Terrence smiled and said, "Whenever you're ready, baby." When Larry and Emma arrived later in the afternoon, they went backstage to wish him luck for the results show. He hugged them both and asked Larry, "Did you get home okay last night?" Emma smiled and turned away discreetly. "I got back fine," Larry said. His voice was animated and he couldn't stop smiling. When he saw Brian talking with the director on the other side of the holding room, he waved and bounced up and down on the balls of his feet. "You look a little tired," Terrence said. He could see Emma standing behind Larry, rolling her eyes and shaking her head no. "I slept better last night than I have in years," Larry said. Then he hugged Terrence and went into the audience to take his seat. Emma remained there a while longer to work on his hair and makeup. But they didn't talk much. He didn't even want 92


any chocolate. He sat in front of the mirror, gripping the arms of the chair, lips pressed together. He'd decided to wear a plain gray T-shirt, jeans and the same black blazer he'd worn the night before. The blazer was for good luck. It made him feel comfortable. When she turned to join Larry in the audience, Emma hugged him and said, "Fingers crossed, kid." **** Brian had a knack for being able to stretch thirty minutes of nothing into suspenseful entertainment. When the results show opened, he discussed the judges' comments with the contestants, he joked around with the judges and he baited the audience with light comments about the possible winners. As the show progressed, he slowly announced the contestants who had been eliminated and would be going home that night. By the time they reached the last five minutes of the show, the only three contestants left sitting on the bleachers were Terrence, Jude and Payton. Two would move on to the final round and one would go back home. Terrence took quick, shallow breaths and pressed his palms on his knees so his legs would stay still. Jude just stared at the floor with his hands stiffly at his sides. Then Brian said, "The two people who will be moving on to the final round of the competition are Terrence Lorenzo and Jude Foster." He took a deep breath and sighed. "Sorry, Payton. It looks like you'll be going home tonight." Terrence gave Jude a look, and then he took a deep breath. He was thrilled to be moving on. And he was happy to see that Payton would be going home. The audience stood to 93


applaud, but Brian calmed everyone down and said, "This doesn't mean it's completely over for anyone who was eliminated tonight. The judges have decided to choose one more contestant, at random, for the final competition. The name will be announced the first night of the final round of the competition." Payton jumped up from the bleacher and shouted, "Golly. Does this mean I still have a chance to return?" Brian laughed and said, "Yes, by golly gosh, it does, Payton." Then he slapped his knee and winked at the camera. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Seven The New York contestants had been the last ones to perform in the semi-finals, which meant the show would automatically return the following week for the final round of the competition. Each of the two contestants chosen from Chicago, Dallas, Seattle, Los Angeles and Atlanta had already been selected, and Terrence was fine with that. If he'd been from any other city, he would have had to fly back to New Hope and wait for the finals to begin. So when he and Jude returned to the hotel after the results show, he tried to get into Jude's pants again. He wanted to celebrate; the magnitude of moving on to the final round was finally sinking in. But instead of pushing him into his room and fucking his brains out, Jude patted him on the arm and said, "Ah, well. Let's give this a little more time. I think the other contestants from the other cities have already arrived at the hotel and we all have to be up early tomorrow for rehearsal. We need our rest, and I have to call my mother about what I'm going to wear next week." Though there was already an erection in Terrence's pants, he smiled and said, "I suppose you're right, Jude." He crossed through the doorway and said, "I'll see you in the morning. Sleep well." He figured he'd just get into bed and jerk off. But the guy who'd driven them back to the hotel that night had been Joe—the same Joe who had fucked Terrence his first day in Hollywood. Joe had gazed at him all the way to the hotel. Terrence kept turning away and staring out the window 95


so Jude wouldn't notice anything unusual—not that it was his business—but he couldn't stop thinking about Joe's strong, hairy arms and his sexy pushed-in nose. He also couldn't stop thinking about how Joe had kissed him and fucked him at the same time. And the fact that Joe had been his first middleaged man made it all the better. So when Jude was gone, Terrence reached for his wallet, pulled Joe's business card out and dialed his number. "Hello," Joe said. "Hey, Joe," he said, trying hard to sound casual. "It was really good seeing you again tonight." He punched the bed a few times, because he knew he sounded lame. Joe laughed. "This is a booty call, isn't it?" "Ah well..." Joe's voice sounded deeper on the phone. "Meet me in front of the hotel in fifteen minutes." Terrence hid behind a potted palm in the hotel lobby, trying to look casual so the hotel desk clerks wouldn't become suspicious. He peeked out through a window so he wouldn't appear too eager to get fucked. He didn't want Joe to pull up and see him pacing in front of the lobby. But the act was futile because when Joe arrived, he climbed into the front seat and gave him a long, wet kiss. He sucked his hairy face so hard his lips hurt. Then they drove away from the hotel, with Terrence practically sitting on his lap and hanging from his shoulders. Joe had grown a thick black goatee since Terrence had last seen him. He loved kissing rugged men with facial hair. There had been times when Terrence had 96


practically begged Kevin not to shave for two or three days just so he could rub his face against Kevin's heavy beard. They drove to a parking lot behind a small bar not far from the hotel. By the time Joe had turned off the ignition, Terrence was naked and sitting on his lap. Joe wore a black suit that night, with a white shirt and a black satin tie. The linen felt smooth and silky against Terrence's bare ass. When he spread his legs so Joe could reach down and play with his ass, the sensation of the fabric rubbing against the backs of his naked legs made his nipples hard. "We don't have much time," Joe said. "I have to pick someone up at the airport. So spread your legs wide for me." Joe had a wonderful sense of humor when it came to sex. He seemed to know how to dominate Terrence nicely, with the back of his hand and a smile on his face. Terrence licked Joe's bottom lip and said, "We don't need much time, handsome. Put the seat back and close your eyes." Then he lowered his left leg from its resting spot on the steering wheel so Joe could reach down between his legs and fondle his soft spots. When the seat was all the way back, Terrence reached into the center console for a condom. He opened the small package, pulled Joe's zipper down and gently pulled his cock out. It was fully erect and ready to go. Joe moaned and stretched his big legs all the way out while Terrence covered his dick with the condom. He was a bulky man, with natural muscle and a sexy belly—about ten pounds overweight in all the right places. "That feels so good," Joe said. "You have a nice touch." 97


He climbed up on Joe's lap again so he could straddle his dick. Then he pressed one palm on Joe's chest for support and reached back for his dick with the other hand. He arched his back and sat up for a minute. When the tip of Joe's dick was pressed against his hole, he took a deep breath and slowly sat down. It slid into his body well; the slight curve brushed against his prostate and his toes curled. He sat all the way down and pressed his hands on Joe's chest again. Joe threw his arms behind his head and whispered, "Ride it, baby. Ride that dick." Terrence grabbed the handle on the roof above the window so he could pull himself up and down, then reached for his own dick and started to jerk. He slammed against Joe's pelvis, making sure to squeeze the large erection with his anal sphincter when he went down. Each time he snapped his tight hole, Joe moaned and said, "Yeah, so smooth." The bouncing and slamming became intense, and the SUV rocked back and forth. "Can you come like this?" Terrence asked, "or should I get up and bend over the seat?" "I can come like this. I'm close," he said. "But I'd really like to bend you over the hood of the car and tap that ass outside." "Outside?" "Don't worry," Joe said. "It's dark out and no one can see us. Besides, I'm so close, it won't take long. I'll get in and out fast. No one will see us." A moment later, naked Terrence was leaning against the hood of the SUV in the dark parking lot. He could hear the muffled voices of people talking outside the bar, and the 98


swishing sound of passing cars made his heart beat faster. He spread his legs wide and stood on his tiptoes. The gravel beneath his bare feet was rough and sharp. Joe stood behind him, grabbed his hips and mounted him from behind. Joe was still wearing his black suit but his cock was sticking out of his trousers. When his dick went in again, Terrence could feel the metal from his zipper rub against his ass. His hips bucked and he slammed hard and fast, picking up where Terrence had left off inside the car. Terrence reached down and held his dick, pressing the palm of his other hand against the hood so he wouldn't fall over. It didn't take long for Joe to moan, "Ah, I'm close, man." Terrence didn't reply. He was close and he was holding back, waiting for Joe to come first. When Joe came, he squeezed Terrence's hips so hard he left finger indents on his flesh. Terrence came a second later, blowing his load into the grill of the SUV. "Don't pull out yet," Terrence said, rocking his hips in slow circles. "It feels so damn good and I might not get dick again for a while." Though he loved the actual fucking, there was something equally exciting about the moments after getting fucked that made every muscle in his body go limp. But Joe slapped his ass and said, "I have to. I have to get to the airport, baby." He pulled his dick out of Terrence's hole, yanked off the condom and tossed it under the SUV. When he dropped Terrence off at the hotel a few minutes later, he said, "Thanks. Remember, if anyone fucks with you while you're out here, you just call me and I'll kick their ass." **** 99


The next morning, Jude was waiting in the hotel lobby with the other contestants for the final round. When he saw Terrence, he frowned and said, "I couldn't sleep a wink last night. I was so worried about today. I can't believe today is the first rehearsal for the final round. How about you?" Terrence pressed his lips together and formed a small smile. Then he shrugged his shoulders and said, "I was up a little later myself." But it was a lie. After Joe had dropped him off, he'd slept so well he'd almost missed the alarm that morning. He could still smell traces of Joe's cologne. He'd taken a long shower that morning, but the smell of spice and wood was still there. That used to happen with Kevin, too. There were times when he could smell Kevin's musky, sweaty scent on his body days after he'd been fucked. The other eight contestants shook hands and introduced themselves in the hotel lobby while they waited for the van. When they arrived at the studio, they were taken to a small conference room for a quick orientation with the other executive producer of the show, Martin Kasbeck. But Martin was a half-hour late, which caused one contestant from Atlanta, Becca Rodney, to bite her fingernails and tap her foot. "This is just wrong," she kept repeating. "He should be here on time. What kind of an example is this to set on the first day of rehearsal?" Becca was a tall, zaftig young woman with a nose ring and tattoos on her forearms. Her large, strong bones were covered with solid flesh. Her hair was dyed deep burgundy and she always wore black. 100


When Martin Kasbeck did arrive, he offered a lukewarm welcome to the contestants and gave a brief speech about the show. He was in his mid-forties, his body was long and lanky and he needed a haircut. Long wisps of dark brown hair stippled with white stuck out above his large ears like feathered wings. His feet seemed too small for his long legs. He reminded Terrence of Borat. After the speech, Martin asked if there were any questions. Becca Rodney raised her hand and said, "I think you should comment on lateness." He blinked and his head went back. "Lateness?" "If we're going to get off on the right foot," she said, "I think it's important to emphasize that everyone, including you, should be on time from now on." She looked around to see if anyone else was going to support her. But the other contestants sat back and stared down at their laps. Terrence couldn't help smiling. Martin stammered a few times and said, "We'll all try our best to be on time from now on, Becca." Then he picked up his old, torn briefcase and left the room. On his way out, he gave Becca a second look and shook his head. After that, they rehearsed their songs for the first live show of the final round. The other contestants seemed nice enough, but they were all so busy working that week with instructors and musicians that there was little time for anything social. Terrence immediately struck up casual friendships with Red Conner and Becca Rodney. Red was a skinny, timid boy from Houston with hair the color of a carrot and a voice so strong and powerful, he made Terrence's ears 101


vibrate. And Becca was tough, with her Goth looks and a low, raspy voice that turned heads while she rehearsed. She loved rockabilly music, and even though the instructors advised against it, that's what she chose to sing for the first show. Terrence only saw Jude during rehearsal that week. Jude had chosen a difficult song and he wanted it to be perfect, which meant Jude went to bed early and there was no dick for Terrence. So while Jude was in his room sleeping, Terrence blew Noah and two more of his buddies on Saturday night. On Sunday night, Joe came over and they wound up taking a bubble bath together until their toes shriveled. Terrence called Emma every night to tell her what was happening. "These other guys are just fun and games, just sex," he told her. "I think I'm falling in love with Jude, but he couldn't seem to care less." After she got over the initial shock of his latest sexual adventure, she'd say, "Just give it time. Jude is a serious guy, and he wants to win this competition." Terrence sighed and said, "I guess you're right. I'm taking this thing seriously, too. I'm working hard at rehearsal all day long myself. But I'm still horny at night." Then Emma laughed and said, "Tell me more about what you did with Joe the driver in the bathtub. He sounds hot." And he told her the dirty details, except the part about how he'd sucked on Joe's toes. For some reason, that would have been too much information. He didn't have a foot fetish, but if a guy asked to have his toes sucked, Terrence could hardly refuse. **** 102


The week passed quickly, and the first live show of the final round was on Tuesday night. As they sat in the holding room waiting for the show to begin, Brian Masters told the audience, "Before we start the show tonight, I'm going to announce the name of the contestant selected at random." The audience applauded while Brian slowly opened an envelope. "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back Payton Dugan, who will be singing the first song tonight after being sequestered all week in a private hotel, where she rehearsed alone." The audience applauded and Payton crossed onto the stage in a black miniskirt and red high heels. Her hair had been styled differently. She looked great. She came from a dark, mysterious corner in the wings while the orchestra played an introduction to her song. Terrence gave Jude a look, then reached for the cell phone already vibrating in his pocket. Emma had sent a text before Brian had finished the introduction. "I had a feeling," the text read. "Don't turn your back." Terrence just sighed and looked down at his lap. He gave a good performance that night, but not as good as the previous week's semi-finals. At least, that's what Marco told him. Jude did his difficult song well too, and the judges praised his choice in music. A few of the contestants were nervous: Danyell Watson forgot the words to her song and Red Conner's hand shook when he held the microphone. The judges' comments to everyone were not outright nasty, but they weren't jumping up and down in their seats either. When they commented on Payton's performance, Marco actually 103


said, "I hope you work harder next week to raise the bar a little, because you sounded karaoke to me." The only performance that actually stood out that night was given by Becca Rodney. She was outrageous, compared to everyone else who had decided to play it safe that week. The rockabilly song she'd chosen to sing made the audience stand in their seats and wave their arms. You couldn't be sure if they were laughing at her or laughing with her. She belted the notes with a deep, throaty voice and it didn't even look as if she'd struggled. At one point, during the middle of her song, she pointed to an older woman in the first row with such a determined expression the poor woman pressed her palm to her throat and gasped. You could see Becca had been knocked around a few times during her short life, and it gave her a natural edge. Her gestures were dramatic, and her lip quivered when she hit high notes. She held nothing back from the audience. Terrence had this image of her singing Hard Hearted Hannah while the audience sat back and clenched their teeth. Rocko and Priscilla praised her song choice and her performance. But Marco just shook his head and said, "I hated it. It was abysmal. This is a pop music competition, not some rockabilly music fair. Furthermore, my advice to you is to lose a few pounds if you ever want to make it in this business. Fat birds just don't fly in the music industry, my dear." The audience booed. Terrence was worried Priscilla would pop a vein. She stood and pointed her finger. "Marco, you 104


crossed the line this time. That last comment was uncalled for. And frankly, I don't think she's overweight." Marco smiled and folded his arms across his chest. "Well, that's just your opinion." Even Brian was outraged by Marco's nasty comment. When he returned to the stage to take the show into a commercial break, he said, "Marco, speaking of public appearance, it wouldn't hurt if you got a decent haircut." "It doesn't matter how I look, young Brian," Marco said, with a smug expression on his face, "because I'm not trying to become a pop singer, and Becca is." When the show returned from the break, Brian went backstage to the holding room to interview the contestants. He wanted to get Becca's reaction to Marco's comment about her weight. And she said, without blinking her eyes once, "Marco is a horse's ass. I have a full, lush figure and I'm not going to change anything about it. So, Marco, watch this fat bird fly." She stood from the sofa, turned her back to the camera and bent over. Brian stepped back when she lifted her heavy black tunic up to her waist and exposed black fishnet stockings, a black garter belt and black lace panties. "This is for you, Marco," she said, mooning Marco and the rest of America on live TV. The audience went wild. The guys hooted and yelled, waving their fists. The women laughed and applauded. Even Marco was laughing, but this time Terrence could tell he was laughing at her, not with her. Brian read the call-in number to vote for contestants and the closing theme music started to play. Jude leaned into 105


Terrence's side and whispered, "When we're back in the hotel, meet me in the fourth-floor linen closet tonight at eleven." Terrence frowned. "The linen closet?" "Just meet me there," he whispered. "The only way we're going to get together during this show is to sneak around." He didn't understand why he couldn't just sneak into Jude's room and close the door. But he decided not to ask. He shrugged his shoulders and nodded yes. A few hours later, Terrence slipped out of his room and crossed through the hall to the fourth-floor linen closet. He opened the door slowly and stepped inside. "Jude? Are you in here?" It was dark; he couldn't see his own hands. "I'm back here," Jude said, reaching out to grab his arm. Terrence jumped back. "You scared me to death with that move," he said. His heart was beating fast now and there was goose flesh all over his body. "Sorry," he whispered. "C'mon back here." It was a large walk-in closet, with rows of metal shelves and a small nook in the back. Terrence saw that Jude had set up a makeshift area with towels and linens. "I brought condoms and lube too," Jude added. Terrence smiled. He was wearing a gray sweatsuit and running shoes that night. So he stripped down to nothing, rolled his things up in a ball and placed them on a shelf to his right. Even though it was a bit weird, he had to admit that being locked in a dark closet with Jude made his pulse race a little. He'd barely removed his sweatpants and his dick was already standing at attention. 106


He crossed back to the corner and reached for Jude's hand. Jude guided him down onto a pile of sheets and towels and said, "Sit on my lap." No good-looking man ever had to say those four words more than once to Terrence. He sat down and rested back on Jude's chest. When Jude's hands slid down his body, his legs went up and he rested his feet on a shelf. "Put your hands between my legs and finger my ass," Terrence whispered. His eyes were closed and he was smiling. He couldn't stop thinking about how Jude's mother would react if she saw her little boy being seduced this way. She'd probably chase him around the hotel with a baseball bat. Jude reached down with both hands and spread Terrence's ass cheeks apart. Then he pressed two fingers up against the opening and circled a few times. Terrence spread his legs wider and arched his back. "Open me up, man. Get me ready for that big, beautiful dick." "You're so soft and smooth down there," Jude said. "No hair at all." "Get the condoms out." Jude reached to his right, fumbled with a plastic bag and handed Terrence a condom package. Terrence lowered his legs and sat up. Then he turned around and unfastened Jude's jeans. When his pants were down around his knees, Terrence opened the condom package and grabbed Jude's dick. Holding a penis that huge made him smile in the darkness and swallow back. When he pressed the condom to the tip and began to cover Jude's dick, the condom only went halfway down the shaft. "Did you buy extra large?" Terrence 107


asked, leaning forward to see how much of his dick was covered. His eyes were adjusting to the darkness by then and he could see outlines and shadows. "Yes." Jude said. "They are supposed to be extra large." "Ah well," Terrence said. "Now, hand me the lube." His heart was racing and his lips were pressed together. He couldn't wait to sit down and ride Jude's baseball-bat dick. But when Jude reached for the plastic bag again, the closet door opened and someone said, "I'll be right there." Terrence went down and rested across Jude's body in a fetal position. One of the hotel maids shoved a metal cleaning cart into the closet and closed the door again. When she was gone, Terrence said, "That was a close call." And he reached down again to grab Jude's dick. But all he found between Jude's legs was soft, spongy flesh. "We'd better get out of here," Jude said, "If we get caught, we could be ruined. I can't concentrate on sex if I'm stressed." "Just relax," Terrence said, fondling Jude's limp penis. "I know how to get that big boy up and running again." Then he opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue. But when he started to lick the soft shaft, Jude pulled his head back and said, "I just can't do this. Not after almost getting caught like that." He pushed Terrence off his lap and pulled up his pants. "I'm sorry. We'll figure something else out. But right now, I think it's best if we get back to our rooms and get a good night's sleep." Terrence took a shallow breath and sighed. Kevin would have pressed his head hard between his legs. Noah the 108


bellhop would have leaned back and smiled. And Joe the driver would have slapped his ass so hard, his ears would have been ringing. Terrence had never been pushed off any man's lap. But he smiled and said, "I suppose you're right. You get up and leave first. I'll stay in here for a few more minutes so no one sees us leave at the same time." "Good idea," Jude said. Then he kissed him goodbye, patted his ass a couple of times and walked out the door. Terrence went back to his room and jerked off with his dildo that night. He didn't even bother to text Emma to tell her what had happened in the linen closet. The next day, he was well rested for the first results show of the final round of the competition. No one was surprised to hear that Danyell Watson had received the least amount of votes and that she was the contestant going home that week. When a performer forgets the words to the song in a music competition like The American Star Show, it was usually the end of the road. The entire half-hour results show was predictable, until Brian Masters announced at the end of the show, "Please join us next week, when the guest judge will be the one and only Mandy Barrillo, and the contestants will be performing music from the l970s." The audience applauded, but the contestants stared back and forth at each other with their mouths hanging open. Mandy Barrillo had been a huge pop icon in the l970s, and now he was promoting a new album. No one had mentioned to the contestants that Mandy would be a guest judge, and no one had mentioned they'd be singing pop music from the l970s. Becca leaned into Terrence and said, "I think I'm 109


fucked next week, because the only music I know from the l970s is so off the wall, they won't know what I'm doing." Terrence just smiled and folded his hands on his lap. After the show, Larry and Emma came back stage to congratulate him. Emma hugged him and said, "I'm so proud I could scream." Jude's mother and father were already backstage by then, patting Jude on the back and telling him how wonderful he was. When Jude's mother saw Emma jumping up and down, she raised her eyebrows and gave Jude's father a look. Jude stood there grinning, with his hands in his pockets and a blank stare in his eyes. Terrence smiled and nodded at them, but he thought it was strange that Jude always called them "mother" and "father." Not "mom" and "dad" like most people. It was always so proper and controlled, as if they'd all just been introduced to each other. And the mother was forever hooking her arm through Jude's, as if she were blind and couldn't find her own way around. Larry patted him on the back and said, "I can't wait to see Mandy next week." Terrence pinched his arm and said, "Don't tell anyone you know Mandy. I don't want anyone thinking I'm getting special treatment here. Just play dumb." Mandy had been Larry's good friend for many years. He'd known Terrence's mother, too. Though Terrence had only met Mandy once, at his mother's surprise fortieth birthday party, and he wanted to keep that quiet.

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Larry smiled and nodded, but by then he'd spotted Brian Masters crossing the room and he wasn't quite paying attention to Terrence anymore. Red Conner crossed to where they were standing and stood next to Terrence. He smiled at Emma and said, "I was wondering if you could work on my hair for next week's show, too. I like what you to with Terrence's hair, and I could really use some help." Then he ran his fingers through his carrotred hair and grinned. One of the network stylists had done his hair that night. She'd lathered it with shiny product so it was sticking up all over the place in thick, chunky waves. Emma smiled. "I'd love to help," she said, running her fingers across the top of his head. "You have beautiful hair. You just have to work it the right way, is all." Terrence gave Larry a look and smiled. Maybe Emma was going to get a man in Hollywood after all. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Eight As fate would have it, Terrence performed very well the following week when Mandy Barrillo was the guest judge. Priscilla said his song was a perfect "fit" for him, Rocko said he'd raised the bar that week and Marco raised his eyebrows when Mandy mentioned on live television that he'd known Terrence's mother and that he was proud to see him performing in the competition. Terrence was a little embarrassed by Mandy's comment. A good performance was a good performance, though. He had worked hard that week, preparing and rehearsing one of Mandy Barrillo's best-known songs from the '70s. That week he'd told himself that enough was enough with hot, sexual excursions—desperate urges that had to be satisfied by middle-aged limo drivers, well-hung hotel bellhops and horny young guys who worked in the hotel kitchen. Now it was time to focus on the music. A contestant named Johnson Billings was voted off the show the following night. Afterwards, it seemed like everyone else had plans except Terrence. Jude went out to dinner with his mother and father to celebrate and Terrence went back to the hotel room all alone. He wished he's been invited but Jude's mother had whisked him off in such a rush, it had actually caused a breeze. Larry and Brian were sneaking around, because Brian didn't want the world to know he was gay just yet. 112


Emma had a date, too. She'd been getting to know Red Conner and filling Terrence in with all the details. Red had been bringing her up to his room all week and screwing her until she started to walk with a limp. According to Emma, Red had one of those extra-thick cocks, with a large birthmark shaped like the state of Florida on top of the shaft, and he couldn't get enough of her pussy. Even Becca Rodney had a date. She was fooling around with Brad Jenkins, one of the contestants. Brad was a marine from Chicago, a stocky young guy with a military hair cut and legs shaped like the letter X. Because he'd been so good that week about not having sex, Terrence decided to go down to the hotel gym and sit in the sauna for a while. He was hoping there would be a few other guys down there, too, partly because he was drop-dead horny and partly because this was his last night in the hotel. The network was moving all the contestants to a rented house in the Hollywood Hills the next day. As the show gained more popularity in the mainstream, the producers thought it best to keep them in a more private, secluded setting. The locker room was quiet and practically empty, which meant Terrence could walk around in nothing but a short, white towel without looking out of place. He frowned at first, because it was practically deserted. But he did take his time stripping down while a guy two benches away prepared to take a shower. He was the only man there. He looked to be in his early thirties, tall and thin and tan, with long hairy legs. His short hair was sandy blond and he had a strong patrician 113


jawline. He looked like a businessman now, but he could have been a male model in his younger days. The only problem was that Terrence couldn't tell whether or not the guy was gay. He was wearing a wedding band. But Terrence nodded and smiled to the guy anyway, then turned his back and started to undress. First he stepped out his running shoes and pulled off his socks, then he dropped his sweatpants, bending over slowly to pull them off his legs so the guy could see his ass. He wasn't wearing underwear, and when he stood and stretched his arms all the way up to yawn, his black T-shirt rose above his waistline and exposed his entire ass. When he pulled the T-shirt over his head, he could almost feel the guy's eyes grinding into his naked body. He reached for a short towel and wrapped it around his waist, then turned and crossed to the sauna room. On the way, he smiled again at the guy, who was fidgeting with his shoes, wearing nothing but a sweaty jock strap, pretending he wasn't watching Terrence. The deserted sauna was misty and hot and smelled like socks. Terrence stepped inside, sat down on a wooden bench on the right side of the doorway and spread his legs a little. He was still wearing the white towel, but he wanted his entire right leg to be exposed in case the guy outside came in. Then he closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall and waited. A few minutes later, sure enough, the door opened and the guy from the locker room entered. His blue eyes darted back and forth and he rubbed his jaw a few times, scanning the room and trying hard not to look too eager. His towel was longer than Terrence's and fell slightly below his 114


knees. But he'd fastened it lower so it would rest below his rippled waistline, exposing lean, defined pelvic muscles and an inch of dark pubic hair. The outline of his dick pressed against the damp terrycloth fabric. Terrence looked up with his most innocent expression and smiled. The guy smiled back and sat down on the same wooden bench. The guy rubbed his jaw again and his right leg jerked up and down a few times. Then he stretched his arms out with his hands folded together and said, "Ah, it sure feels good in here, man. I just did five miles on the treadmill and I'm fucking sore, buddy." Terrence caught the guy staring down at his exposed leg; he was practically naked. He hated heat and humidity as much as he disliked being called buddy, but he said, "It's very relaxing. I think I'll get rid of this towel now." Then he arched his back and pulled the towel off. He had a full erection by then. The guy's eyes opened wide and he laughed. "You're not shy, are you?" Terrence looked between his hairy legs and pointed at his growing erection. "From the way things look down there, neither are you, buddy." Then he reached over and spread the guy's towel open. His cock was almost fully erect and it was resting on his left thigh. He spread his legs and bucked his hips forward a few times. Terrence smiled at his dick. "You seem proud of that." The guy made his cock jump a few times, and he said, "I'm happy with it." 115


"Just close your eyes and sit back," Terrence said. His mouth was watering by then. He didn't want to waste precious time talking, because anyone could walk in and ruined the moment. The guy spread his legs a little wider and closed his eyes. When his head was leaning back against the wall, Terrence went down on his knees and started to massage his large feet. He worked on each foot for a long time, pressing his thumbs between his toes and running his palms up and down his tired arches. The guy's mouth opened and he moaned with delight, and his dick got thicker and longer and rose to his waistline. Terrence massaged his ankles, his hairy calves and his strong thighs, pressing and rubbing each thick muscle with slow sensual circles. There wasn't an ounce of flab on his body, just long, sinewy muscles forming ripples and arches. When he reached the guy's ball sack, he opened his mouth and swallowed them both. The guy stretched out even more and grabbed his cock while Terrence sucked his balls. He whispered, "Ah yeah, man, that feels so fucking good." From the way he was moaning, Terrence had to wonder how long it had been since anyone had sucked his balls. They were large and round and soft. And they tasted salty and smelled like onions; he hadn't taken a shower yet. But Terrence didn't mind. He swallowed back and inhaled even deeper, because they reminded him of Kevin's sweaty balls whenever he returned from playing football with his buddies. A moment later, while his cheeks were still bulging with balls, the guy slapped his cock on Terrence's forehead and said, "Suck on this for a while now." 116


Terrence puckered his lips and wrapped them around the rock-solid head. He ran his tongue in slow circles at the bottom, then swallowed it to the back of his throat. It tasted just as salty and tangy as his balls—just like Kevin's cock used to taste. The only difference was that Kevin's cock had been thicker and the head had been a little larger. The guy placed his palms over Terrence's ears and started pulling his head up and down. He pressed hard and pulled fast. Terrence's eyes rolled and his cheeks indented. But his muscles relaxed and he submitted to the guy without an instant of hesitation. "That's it," the guy moaned. "Suck that big dirty cock like a good little cock slut." Terrence pressed his palms on the guy's hairy thighs for support and sucked even harder. His own cock was ready to burst and he wasn't even touching it. A few minutes later, the guy said, "Can I fuck you?" Terrence slid the dick from his mouth. His lips were engorged and distended and his chin was red. "Do you have a condom?" "No. Do you?" Terrence shook his head. "No." "Can I rim you, then?" the guy asked. "You're such a pretty little thing. I've got to play with that ass a little before this is over." He wanted to spread his legs and say, "By all means, stick your tongue in as far as it will go." But he just smiled gently, and said, "If that's what you want to do, it's fine with me." So the guy stretched out on his back across the bench, and Terrence got up and straddled his head. When he sat 117


down on the guy's face, he spread his legs and arched his back. The guy stuck out his tongue and licked his hole in slow circles, then started lapping with blunt, aggressive strokes. Terrence's body shivered; his nipples became hard and his toes curled. His rough stubble scratched his soft, hairless skin like sandpaper. When the guy started to tongue-fuck him, he nearly lost his balance and fell off the bench. While he pushed his tongue in and out of Terrence's hole, he grabbed his cock and started jerking fast. Evidently, he wanted to come with Terrence's ass in his mouth. So Terrence grabbed his cock and started jerking off too. They were both close, and Terrence was moaning softly by then. "Ah, yeah ... fuck, yeah," he whispered. He wiggled his ass in the guy's face a few times, and the guy shoved his tongue all the way inside and started to chew. "I'm really close now," Terrence said. The guy nodded his head up and down without removing his mouth from Terrence's ass. His teeth were still grinding and his tongue was still probing. Then the guy's legs started moving back and forth. It only took a few more jerks and Terrence blew his load all over the guy's stomach. And the guy came a minute later, with his tongue buried all the way up Terrence's ass. He shot so far that his come hit Terrence in the middle of the forehead. After he wiped the come off his face with the towel, Terrence did something he knew would drive the guy wild. He leaned forward and licked his own come off the guy's stomach. He liked the taste of come, especially his own. It was a large load, but he licked and swallowed every last drop. 118


When he climbed down off the bench, the guy slapped his ass and said, "That was one of the hottest things I've ever seen, buddy." Then he looked down at his clean stomach and smiled. Terrence laughed. "I didn't want to leave a mess, is all." **** The contestants were moved into a rented house in the Hollywood hills the next morning, a Thursday. It was warm and breezy; the Santa Ana winds were blowing in full force that week. The house was large and modern, a classic architectural dream comprised of pure white concrete and graceful walls of glass. Its sharp angles were simple and stark and calming. To the left of the glass front door was a bronze wall that was a fountain, and water slowly trickled down the entire length. It was a nice place to live, and Terrence loved modern architecture. The only real drawback was that there were only six bedrooms, which meant the contestants had to share until more people were voted off the show. The producers had hired a full-time live-in housekeeper to keep watch over the house. Everyone had expected to find a plump, middle-aged woman waiting at the entrance with a warm smile, carrying a tray of homemade cookies and speaking with a proper British accent. So it was no wonder that eyes rolled and voices murmured when they found a pencil-thin, short-haired storm trooper standing there with her hands on her hips and her eyebrows furrowed. Her name was Hilda, she spoke with a foreign accent Terrence couldn't pigeonhole, and he suspected she was wearing men's boxer 119


shorts under her navy wool skirt. When they assembled in the black marble entrance hall, Hilda lowered her voice and assigned them roommates. Then she folded her arms across her chest and said, "And there will be no screwing around from now on. I will make it a point to know everything that goes on in this house." When Terrence found out he was sharing a room with a contestant named Justin, he whispered to Jude, "Maybe I could ask her if we can be roommates." But Jude shot back, "Just leave it as it is. I don't want to start any trouble the first day we're here." Terrence shrugged and shook his head. Jude was probably right. Hilda looked like a real bitch. He gave his new roommate, Justin, a look and he smiled. Justin was from Houston, and he wasn't a bad-looking guy. He was only twenty-four, but his dark hair had already turned salt and pepper. He was a little stocky, but he wore sexy cowboy boots and smoked menthol cigarettes when no one was looking. If Terrence had had to guess, he would have said Justin was only into women. But sometimes it was hard to tell. So he bit his bottom lip and looked up at the ceiling, then promised himself he wouldn't try to get into Justin's pants. **** On Friday, Larry called Terrence with a surprise announcement. "I'm going back to New Hope for the weekend," he said. "But I'll be back on Monday morning." "Is everything okay at home?" 120


Larry hesitated, then said, "Keep this quiet. I'm going back with Brian. I'm taking him away for the weekend to show him where I live. We'd like some private time together." His voice went up and down with a lilt, as if he were asking for permission. "I don't see how you're going to keep this quiet," Terrence said. "Now that the show is gaining popularity, someone is bound to recognize Brian at the airport." His voice was curt. He wasn't sure about Brian Maters yet. "We chartered a private jet," Larry said. "Isn't that expensive?" He knew how frugal Larry tended to be, and this sudden willingness to just charter a jet worried him. He had refused to buy a flat-screen TV until his twentyyear-old RCA finally died a slow death. Larry laughed. "Stop worrying. Brian suggested the private jet, and he's paying for it." He hesitated again, then said, "He's not after my money, Terrence. He has plenty of his own." But Terrence started to worry even more on Monday afternoon when he hadn't heard a word from Larry. He tried calling the house and his cell phone, but no one answered. He even called Emma at Bill's and Steve's house, but she said she hadn't heard anything either. Just after five, the phone rang. "In case you haven't heard," Larry said, "we're stuck in a freak snowstorm here and we won't be able to dig out until tomorrow." "Are you joking?" He'd been rehearsing all day. There was no time left for the Weather Channel. 121


"I'm afraid not," Larry said. "But don't worry. We'll be back tomorrow by show time. I already rescheduled the jet. The airport in New Jersey is fine, but we're getting a lot more snow out here in Pennsylvania, and we can't get out until tomorrow morning." Terrence sighed. "Just be careful and keep me posted. I want to know when you take off, and when you land." He knew how much Larry hated to drive in snow. People around town called him "One-Flake Larry" because when he saw one snowflake, he was out the door and on his way home. "I will," he said. "Love you." Terrence called Emma to tell her about Larry and Brian, but she couldn't talk long. She was getting ready for a date with Red Conner that night, which really meant she was shaving her pussy so Red could fuck her brains out in the back seat of a rented car. The next morning, Terrence was up early. It was still dark in his room, but light enough to see that Justin was sound asleep in the bed next to his, flat on his back, snoring. Justin always wore printed boxer shorts and a white T-shirt to bed, and there was such a huge sleep erection between his legs, he'd pitched a tent in his boxer shorts. Terrence pulled off the bed covers, then reached between his own legs and held his cock. He'd already warned Justin ahead of time that he preferred to sleep in the nude. He stared at Justin's stocky body and smiled. His legs were dark and hairy and some of his dick was visible through the opening of the boxer shorts. As Terrence slowly jerked his cock, he wondered what Justin would do if he crossed over to his bed and started 122


sucking him off in his sleep. His balls grew tighter and he started jerking faster, imagining Justin spreading his wide legs so he could give him head. Then Justin snorted and his body jerked to the right, facing Terrence. Terrence stopped jerking and remained still. Justin repositioned his legs, scratched his balls a few times and threw his arms behind his head. The T-shirt went up above his navel. His stomach was covered dark hair, too. When he stretched his right leg all the way out, his erect dick slipped through the opening of his boxers and pulsed a few times. It was thick and long with an acorn-shaped head, the kind of dick head that would have slipped into Terrence's body with one easy thrust. Terrence licked his lips and started jerking again. He knew he couldn't just get out of bed and suck him off, but he needed more. So he reached down to the floor and picked up one of Justin's sweat socks. He pressed it against his face and sniffed back. It smelled like leather cowboy boots and sweaty young men changing in a locker room. Justin, still sound asleep, stretched his other leg all the way out and his dick stood up even higher. A moment later, Terrence pressed the dirty sweat sock to his nose, inhaled as deeply as he could and blew his load all over his stomach. After he milked the last few drops from his dick, he tossed the sock back on the floor and ran his hand up his stomach to wipe off the come. He licked his hand clean and got out of bed. He knew Justin would probably sleep for another hour, and he didn't want to just lie there watching his cock without being able to touch it. So he put on a pair of 123


sweatpants and tiptoed down to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. But when he got there, he saw that he wasn't the only one up early that morning. Becca Rodney was on her knees next to the center island, blowing Brad the Marine. His white boxers were down around his knees and his palms were pressed down on the top of Becca's head. She was sucking him off with gentle motions, licking the shaft up and down, from his balls to the tip of his dick. She gently squeezed his balls with one hand and held the base of his cock with the other. Brad's cock wasn't long, but it was thick and reminded him of a soda can. Terrence smiled and stepped back, gaining a new respect for Becca Rodney and her obvious expert cocksucking skills. He was so proud of her, he wanted to run into the kitchen and pat her on the back. But he tiptoed back to his room instead so Becca could finish Brad off in private. **** A few hours later, he was in rehearsal when Larry called. "We're just taking off now," Larry said. "We'll be back in plenty of time for the show." Terrence took a deep breath and said, "I'm glad you're okay. I was worried about you driving all the way to the airport in the snow." "You can thank your old buddy Kevin for that," Larry said. "Kevin?" "He saved the day," he said. "The car that came to pick us up got stuck in snow. Then we got my car out of the driveway, but it slid off the road and wound up stuck in a 124


snow drift right outside the driveway. If Kevin hadn't driven by in his Jeep, we'd still be there wondering what to do next." Larry drove an older Mercedes convertible, which wasn't very good in snow. But he'd always refused to buy a four-wheel drive because he had no intention of driving in the snow anyway. "Let me know when you land," Terrence said. Then he hung up and called Emma. She was just as shocked as he'd been when she heard Kevin had driven them all the way to the airport. "I guess I really shouldn't be surprised," he said. "Kevin always did like to drive around in the snow." He'd delivered his very first blow job to Kevin on a snowy night in December when they were still in high school. They were leaving a Christmas party and Kevin was drunk. He'd grabbed Terrence's ass when no one was looking and said, "You look like you like dick." Poor young Terrence had been mortified at first, thinking Kevin was laughing at him. How was he supposed to respond? It wasn't something a member of the drama club expected to hear from the quarterback of the football team. But then Kevin pulled down his zipper and whipped out the most beautiful penis Terrence had ever seen, and he opened his mouth wide and went down on his knees in the snow. They started fucking the next day and didn't stop until Terrence decided to audition for The American Star Show. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Nine The network delivered bags of fan mail to the contestants that afternoon. Now that the show was catching on and people were really watching, the contestants were becoming more popular as the weeks passed. The Young Adult Network had been hoping for a mild hit, but never imagined it would become so popular. Terrence was still too worried about Larry and Brian getting back on time for the show to really read all his mail. He just glanced at most of it. He intended to save them all and write back as soon as things calmed down a little with the show. Most of the letters were positive and uplifting, but there was one that made him press his palm to his chest and swallow back a few times. Some weirdo had sent him a death threat and hadn't bothered to sign the letter. But he convinced himself not to take it seriously. He figured those things happened all the time to people on TV, so he tossed the letter into the trash. Thankfully, Larry and Brain arrived in plenty of time for the show. While Emma was doing Terrence's hair and makeup, Larry called his cell phone to let him know he was out in the audience, safe and sound. But while Emma was working on his hair, Terrence noticed Payton Dugan standing near the door with a strange expression. Her eyes darted back and forth, and she peered out the doorway a few times. When she slipped out into the hall, he said to Emma, "This is fine. I look 126


good. I have to go to the bathroom now." She shrugged her shoulders and went over to work on Red's hair. Then Terrence stepped out into the hallway, too. He saw Payton walk to the end of the long hallway and turn left. He followed. He needed to be sure she wasn't planning to sabotage him, or anyone else, again. After the stolen-song nightmare, he didn't trust anything about her. She led him to a dark, remote area of the studio that wasn't used very often, where old offices sat empty and no one bothered to clean. When he saw her slither into one of the unused offices and close the door, he leaned into the cinderblock wall and crept up to the doorway. Evidently, she wasn't alone. He heard a man's voice. So he knelt and peeked through a small crack at the bottom of the door. And when he saw Martin Kasbeck, the producer, on top of a desk wearing nothing but a black leather collar and dog leash, he pressed his lips together and leaned back into the wall so he could take a deep breath. A moment later, he looked inside again. Payton was whipping Martin's ass with a large pink feather as he bent over the desk snorting lines of white powder. Terrence clenched his fists and held his breath. They were taking an awful chance. Anyone could walk into the room and find them. But then it occurred to him that maybe the element of danger was part of the fun, the way he'd enjoyed getting fucked outside by Joe the driver. Then Terrence heard Payton say, "You've been a bad boy today and you're going to be punished." She lifted the pink feather high and whacked Martin's behind with it. 127


Martin jerked and said, "I've been so bad. Punish me. Punish me hard, Miss Dugan." Terrence saw his erection between his legs. He had a thin, pencil dick and low-hanging balls. She opened her shirt and let her tits hang out. Martin reached up and squeezed the right one hard, and she shouted, "I didn't give you permission to do that, you bad boy!" She jerked the leash hard and whacked him again with the feather. "Now bark for me." "Ruff, ruff." "That's right," she said. "You do exactly as you're told and I won't have to punish you any more, you bad, bad boy." Then she bent forward and pressed her tits into his face. "What do you want?" he asked, licking her cleavage. "I want a new car," she said. "A new, expensive car." Terrence had seen and heard enough by then. She could have had any guy she wanted, and he couldn't begin to imagine why she'd want Martin Kasbeck. Terrence was no saint, but at least he had good taste in men. So he quietly stood up and headed back to the holding room, where everyone was waiting for the show to start. He decided to keep this information about Payton and Kasbeck to himself, because he knew that if this got out, it could damage the show. And he didn't want that to happen. As long as they kept their kinky little secret to themselves, it was no one's business. But he knew he'd never be able to get the image of Martin Kasbeck's white, saggy, pimple-covered ass out of his mind. 128


The show went well, and Terrence received good reviews again. Brad the Marine gave the only bad performance. His pitch went way off, he couldn't keep up with the orchestra and he forgot some of the words to his song. But the judges were cautious when it was time to offer comments. Brad was what it was all about: clean, short haircut, milky white skin and a defender of his country in war time. The guys admired him, like a fellow "bud." The girls swooned when he smiled. The judges and the producers knew a good percentage of the country tuned in to see Brad each week, and they didn't want to see him voted off too soon. The following night, Patsy was voted off the show for good, and Brad the Marine was safe for another week. Terrence reached out and held Becca Rodney's hand, because he knew she had been worried Brad was going home that night. The camera panned the audience and showed some family members. They caught Jude's mother and father in the second row, and a caption below their faces read: "Jude Foster's parents." Terrence watched the monitor and smiled. The camera captured the face of an old man, dressed in a threadbare tweed jacket, with a caption that read: "Payton Dugan's husband." Terrence gave Becca a look, and she leaned over and whispered, "Now you see why she wants to win this competition so bad. She'll do anything to get out of West Virginia and that marriage. She told me one night that she'd kill to win." ****

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After that results show, the weeks seemed to pass with more speed. The next person voted off the show was Justin, and Terrence finally had his own room. But he was sorry for him, and he would miss the way his thick cock always pitched a tent while he slept. Justin's problem was that he couldn't relax on stage, and the audience sensed it the moment he started singing. His face was so filled with fear and his hands shook so much, people watching squirmed in their seats. The week after Justin was sent packing, a girl named Jarla went home. And it wasn't for any particular reason, either. The show had reached a point where everyone was getting better and the performances were improving. It was just a matter of who stood out in the crowd and who was more popular with the viewing audience. The week after Jarla was let go, a girl named Shaleeka gave an outstanding performance. But America voted her off anyway to save Brad the Marine as long as they could. The only good thing about all those tense results shows was that by the time they were down to Becca, Red, Brad, Payton, Jude and Terrence, everyone had their own bedroom. Terrence wasn't getting any dick now that the show was a huge hit, because Jude didn't want to get caught. But at least he could ride his dildo in the privacy of his own room without being bothered. And when Hilda was sleeping, Becca could sneak into Brad's room and fuck all night long. Red and Emma were still going strong, too. He would sneak outside late at night and meet her in Larry's rented Town Car, where they would fuck for hours. She said to Terrence once, "I have never met a guy who can go as long as he can." 130


The week after Shaleeka was voted off, Martin Kasback and Marco Lennington decided to do another theme show like the one they'd done with Mandy Barrillo. Only this time, they decided to focus on Broadway shows. Terrence didn't mind. He'd grown up listening to Larry play songs from Broadway, but a few of the other contestants lost more than one night's sleep worrying if they'd be able to pull it off. Becca Rodney stopped eating for two days. Jude wasn't thrilled about it either. His comfort zone leaned more toward rock and pop classics. But they chose songs and rehearsed even harder that week to prove to themselves and to America that they could do whatever it took to win. Then suddenly, everything changed. The day before the live Broadway theme show, Martin Kasbeck gathered the six remaining contestants into the conference room and dropped a bomb. "We will be increasing security," he said. "The judges have been receiving hate letters from a disgruntled fan about one of the contestants, and we want to take precautions." Becca folded her arms across her chest and glared at him. "Who's getting the hate mail?" "We'd rather not single anyone out," Martin said. She shook her head back and forth. "Well, I want to know if it's me." Brad shrugged and said, "I have to agree with her. I'd like to know." Martin stared down at his briefcase, then lifted his chin and said, "It's Terrence." 131


Everyone in the room looked in his direction. He shrugged his shoulders and said, "I guess you can't please everyone." He decided to make light of it. He remembered the hate letter he'd seen and discarded. "So what now?" Jude asked. Martin smiled and pressed his palms on the desk. "We've notified the police, and we're increasing security. There will be guards at the house around the clock, and no one will go anywhere without security from now until the end of the show." Jude sat there staring, then asked, "Will I be able to see my mother?" Martin shook his head. "She can come here or to the house any time she wants. But if anyone wants to go out alone, they need special permission and a security guard." Jude pressed his lips together and shook his head back and forth. But Red put his arm around Terrence's shoulders and said, "Are you okay?" He smiled and shrugged. He felt a little guilty that he was the reason everyone had to be confined now. "I'm fine. It's probably nothing at all. Just some crank with too much time on his hands." He only wanted to put his arms around Jude and hold him as tight as he could. But when Larry heard about the hate mail from Brian, he called Terrence and said, "I don't like this. I'm calling Martin Kasbeck about it." His voice went up high and he was breathing heavy. 132


"Just calm down," Terrence said. The last thing he needed was Larry getting hysterical. "I'm fine. It's all good." "I'm calling Martin anyway," Larry said. "And if I think there's any real danger, I'm packing you up and we're on the first plane home." Larry had a tendency to be overdramatic. Terrence wanted to calm him down. So he said, "Stop worrying and relax. The show must go on." But it only made things worse. "Fuck the show!" Larry cried. "I lost two of the most important people in my life in the past two years. When that happens, you hold on to everyone else you love as tight as you can." Terrence couldn't argue with him when he was in that state of mind. So he promised he'd abide by all the rules and he wouldn't go anywhere without security. **** There was a guard stationed at the front entrance of the house, another near the back door and one placed in the hallway near the bedrooms. Even if Jude had asked Terrence to sneak into his room when everyone was sleeping, it was impossible now. They hadn't done anything in weeks, not even a quick blow job. He knew Jude was worried about being discovered, and Terrence didn't totally disagree, but he had natural urges that needed to be satisfied. They gave Emma permission to see Red for a few hours. Brad and Becca pretended they were rehearsing in Brad's room, but everyone knew they were screwing. Terrence didn't even have an appetite, because the thought of going without a man for one 133


more night, coupled with the thought that someone out there hated him enough to make threats, turned his stomach in circles. But when a new group of security guards arrived at the house later that night, he smiled for the first time in a long while. The guard stationed in the hallway turned out to be Joe. He stood next to Terrence's bedroom door with his hands folded on his dick and a serious expression on his face. Terrence looked up at him with innocent eyes and smiled. "I didn't know you were a security guard, too." His face remained still and serious. "Driving is only a parttime job," he said, "Security is my full-time job." He wore another dark suit, with a white shirt and a red tie. Terrence put his hands in his pockets and said, "I feel a lot safer now that you're here, Joe." Joe held back a smile. "I'm going to take really good care of you tonight," he said. "Leave your door open, and when everyone is asleep, I'll come inside to check on you." Then he leaned in a little closer, bit his ear, and said, "Don't wear any clothes." A few hours later, Joe opened the door and entered the dark bedroom. Terrence was face down on the bed, buck naked. When he heard the door open, he arched his back and spread his legs wider. He stretched his legs and wiggled his ass. Joe moved to the head of the bed, pulled down his zipper and a full erection jumped out of his pants. Terrence inched toward it and opened his mouth. When the head was against his warm tongue, he actually sighed and moaned a few times. Then he got up on his hands and knees and started sucking 134


him off. He sucked with fast, even motions, never breaking his rhythm. Joe spread his legs wider and leaned back. His hips bucked slowly, following Terrence's lead. When he could taste the salty drop of pre-come on his tongue, Terrence knew Joe was edging. So he squeezed his balls with two fingers and sucked even harder. But Joe said, "I wanna fuck you again. Lie down on the bed and spread your legs for me." Terrence stopped sucking and followed his orders. Joe wasn't into a lot of raunchy dirty talk, but there was something about his strong, viral movements that was just as exciting. So he went face down again and spread his legs. He heard Joe tear open a condom package, then unbuckle his belt. When his dick was covered with the condom, he got up on the bed and mounted Terrence's body. He said, "If I get too rough, tell me. The other times we fucked, I held back because we were in public places. But I'm not going to hold back now, baby. I'm going to nail that ass hard." Then he pressed the tip of his cock into Terrence's hole and plunged all the way in. A chill went up Terrence's spine and he sighed. The initial pain made him smile. Joe's body was heavy and his dick was so far in, Terrence couldn't move a muscle. He closed his eyes, and said, "Do whatever you want, Joe. I can take it." He fucked with his hips, but not push-up style. His body rested on Terrence's back the entire time instead, which made the fucking more intense. He was pinned there and unable to escape, engulfed by Joe's musky scent, the thick fabric of his dark suit and the fullness of his massive cock. He 135


moaned and begged for more; his eyes rolled and his toes curled up and down. Joe slammed his ass so hard, the bed moved away from the wall. He fucked like a man should fuck: concerned with his own climax, but well aware of the pleasure he was giving Terrence. And the more Terrence begged, the more Joe gave. He started to sweat, and drops of his perspiration fell on Terrence's bare shoulders and slid down his arms. It turned into rough, endless fucking. He hammered and slammed so hard, Terrence's vision started to blur. He wasn't even touching his own dick, but he could feel his own orgasm rising from deep within his body. He'd had a few orgasms like that before with Kevin, but not often. He had to be in the right position, and the guy on top had to be fucking really, really hard to get him there. "Don't stop," he said, "Keep fucking hard like this so I can come without touching myself. I'm edging, man." "Fucking hot, man," Joe said. "I'm close too." He didn't hesitate for a second, pounding and banging steadily "I'm gonna come. I'm close," Terrence said, "Don't stop, please. Fuck me harder." A moment later, Terrence exploded into a wild orgasm that started inside his body and traveled to every nerve he had. He felt the climax in his nipples, in his elbows and even in the tips of his fingers. His dick exploded all over the bed cover and his balls jumped into his body. And Joe filled the condom, moaning and ramming until his dick was empty. Then he fell on Terrence's back and said, "That was hot, man. I've never seen anyone come like that before." 136


Terrence closed his eyes, and smiled. "It doesn't happen all the time," he said, "but if the fucking is really intense and strong, it's easy for me." He licked Joe's hand. Joe slapped Terrence on the ass and pulled his cock out. "I have to get back to my post," he said. "But thanks for that. I really needed to come tonight. And guys like you, the pretty boys, don't usually let me nail them." It might have been true that Joe wasn't the type of guy to attract pretty boys. He was about ten pounds overweight, his nose was crooked and he was a bit rough around the edges. He reminded Terrence of Ray Romano—without the money. But Terrence didn't say that. "Anytime, Joe. And don't sell yourself short, you're a good top guy, the perfect stud. You have such a nice big dick and you know how to use it. Will you be here every night?" Joe removed the condom and shrugged. He put his dick back into his boxer shorts and said, "I never know where I'll be. Probably not though." Then he laughed and said, "I could mention you to a couple of my buddies if you want." Terrence got up and kneeled on the bed. Then he put his arms around Joe's wide shoulders and kissed him. "Feel free," he said. **** Terrence felt a little guilty when he saw Jude the next morning in rehearsal. There he was getting his brains fucked out by the security guard and Jude had been working so hard on his Broadway song, his voice was hoarse. Terrence wanted to put his arms around him and make it better, but that was 137


impossible. So he said, "You're going to be fine, baby. The song sounds wonderful." Jude did give a fantastic performance that night. The judges loved him and the audience gave a standing ovation. Marco even said, "I wouldn't be surprised if you go right down to the final two contestants." Terrence and Red gave good performances, too. But Becca, Brad and Payton were off that night. Becca chose a song from a less familiar Broadway play, and Marco couldn't wait to point out her mistake. "No one even knows that song, my dear, and I wouldn't be surprised if you went home tomorrow night." She just bit her bottom lip and ignored him that time. Even though the song wasn't popular, she'd done it well. It had begun to occur to all the contestants that Marco's comments were designed to sway the viewing audience. The winner of the grand prize would receive a one-million-dollar recording contract, and the contract was with a studio that Marco owned. He wanted to make sure he was working with someone he liked. The following night, Becca smiled at Marco and rubbed the tip of her middle finger against her nose when Brian announced Payton Dugan had been voted off that week. Brian ran down the list of contestants like he usually did, dragging the suspense out for a half-hour. Then he finally announced Payton's name and she stood from the bleachers, walked to the center of the stage and shrugged her shoulders. She lifted her head high and took the news well. She didn't tear up, and she didn't sniff once.

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When the closing theme music started to play, the other contestants stood up and moved to where she was standing with Brian. Terrence whispered, "Are you okay, Payton?" "Oh, I'm fine," she said, staring into the audience with a defiant expression. "I've been working on a few things during this show, just in case I got voted off early. I'm not going back to West Virginia or that old man after getting a taste of Hollywood. You'll see me around." He assumed she was talking about her affair with Martin Kasbeck. But he didn't say that. Then there was some commotion in the audience. Payton's eyes opened wide and she waved her arms. Terrence tried to step back, but she grabbed him by the collar and pulled him and Becca down to the floor. Becca fell on top of Terrence and pinned him there. When Payton reached out for Jude and Brad, Terrence was certain she'd gone berserk and lost her mind. The cameras continued to roll and everyone started running in different directions. Then there were a couple of loud bangs and people started screaming. The audience stood from their seats and ran toward the emergency exits. It all happened so fast; there was so much noise. The next thing Terrence heard was Brian Masters shouting, "Call an ambulance. Someone's been shot!" [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Ten According to all witnesses, Payton Dugan had saved Terrence's life. "Golly," she told the police, "I just looked out and saw this weird little guy with red hair pointing a gun at Terrence. So I just pulled him down, and I pulled Becca down too. I tried to pull them all down, but it was too late." She told dramatic versions of this story to the press for weeks to come, batting her eyelashes and smiling into camera lenses, taking advantage of the best free publicity she'd ever receive. After the gunshots, the next thing Terrence remembered was Larry pulling Becca off him and shouting, "Are you okay?" "I'm fine," he said. "But what happened?" "Someone shot at the stage," he said, shaking his head and running his fingers through his hair, "and Red Conner got hit. There was a doctor in the audience, and he's over there with him now until the paramedics arrive." "Where's Jude?" he asked. When heard there had been gunshots, the first person who came to his mind was Jude. Larry grabbed his shoulder and said, "Jude is okay. He didn't get shot." He looked over to see how Jude was; his mother and father were with him and he seemed fine. The mother was clutching his arm and wiping tears from her face. Terrence looked out into the audience and saw a group of security guards holding a young man against a seat in the third row. One of the guards holding him down was Joe; his palm was pressed against the guy's neck as another man handcuffed 140


him until the police arrived. When they lifted the guy up, he turned his head to the stage and stared directly into Terrence's eyes and smiled, then he spit on the floor. Terrence pressed his palm to his throat; the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. It was Seth Clifton, from the New York auditions, the one who'd sung the song about tuna fish and rye. Joe yanked his arm hard and they dragged him to the exit door. "Where's Emma?" Terrence asked. "She's over there with Red," Larry said. Terrence hugged Larry, and then moved to where Red was still lying on the stage. There was blood all over the floor and Brain Masters was shaking his head back and forth. The doctor was tying something around his arm and Becca was kneeling at his side, rubbing his forehead. Terrence kneeled down and put his arm around her and asked, "Are you okay?" She shrugged, and Red lifted his head and said with difficulty, "She's fine. But the bastard got me right in the arm." But it was worse than that. He'd been shot in the arm and in the stomach. The paramedics arrived in time to get him onto a stretcher and into the back of an ambulance. Larry, Terrence, Brian and Emma followed them to the hospital in the Town Car. But by the time the ambulance reached the emergency room, Red was gone. He'd lost too much blood and there was no way they could save him. **** 141


After that night, The American Star Show became an unexpected pop culture phenomenon. Though it had been gaining in ratings all season, Red's death catapulted the show, and everyone involved, to number one. Magazines made it their cover story, talk shows started booking Brian Masters and the judges, and the remaining contestants became household names. The show went on hiatus for one week, to give the contestants time to recover from the shock of losing Red, and to pay respect to his memory. Emma really hadn't known him very long, but she was devastated. She didn't want to eat and she couldn't sleep at night. The fact that Red's family decided to have a private family memorial made it even worse. They didn't want contact with anyone from The American Star Show. More than that, they didn't want his funeral turned into a media circus. Emma didn't even get a chance to mourn him with a proper funeral. When she told Terrence she wanted to go back home, he talked her into staying in Hollywood with him. He didn't want her to be alone. She'd been there for him when he'd lost important people in his life, and he wanted to be there for her now. And, truth be told, with Larry distracted by Brian, Emma was the only person Terrence had. **** When the show returned two weeks later, there was a small tribute to Red Conner. The contestants performed a group song while films clips of Red's experiences with the show aired on the screen. Fans in the audience waved 142


banners with Red's name, and young girls wiped tears from their eyes. When it was Terrence's time to perform that night, he did a slow ballad that brought him a standing ovation. The judges' comments were the best he'd received so far, but Marco Lennington caused his heart to skip a few beats when he said, "That was very good, Terrence. Jude Foster had better watch out, because you're going to be stiff competition from now on." Terrence had been worried they'd start to pit him against Jude. The next night, the voters only made it worse. When Brain announced that Jude and Terrence had both received the majority of the votes, the audience went wild, waving signs and banners. A group of young girls wore T-shirts with Jude's name in their chests. Another group wore T-shirts with Terrence's name. Terrence wasn't sure if he wanted to take a bow or crawl under the bleachers and hide. He looked at Jude and smiled; at least they were both safe and still in the competition. Brad hadn't been that lucky. He was finally voted off that night, and he took it well. Becca was a little upset at Brad's leaving. But when she realized it meant she'd actually made it to the final three, she leaned into Terrence and said, "I'm in fucking shock. I can't believe I'm still here." Terrence lowered his eyebrows. He hated it when she said things like that. She may not have been the typical pop idol, but she was just as talented, if not more, than anyone sitting there, including him. "You are very talented," he whispered. That night, Terrence figured he'd go back to the rented house and ride his dildo again. He hadn't been with a man 143


since Red's death, partly because he'd decided to focus on singing instead of getting fucked, partly because there hadn't been time, and partly because there weren't any viable men around to seduce. The network had reduced security to one guard stationed at the front door. He'd thought about going outside in a short bath towel a few nights to see if the security guard needed anything. But he didn't. So when he heard a light tapping at his bedroom door that night, he bolted from the bed and pulled the covers up to his chin. Then the door opened slowly and Jude tiptoed into his room and crossed to the bed. His feet were bare and he wore nothing but a pair of black sweatpants. "Can I get in bed with you?" he asked. Terrence's eyes grew wide. But he smiled and pulled the covers all the way back so Jude could see that he was naked. Then he arched his back and said, "Only if you take off your pants first." Jude pulled a condom out of his pocket and dropped his sweatpants. His massive penis swung back and forth when he pulled his legs out of his pants. He had to hold it with his hand to stop it from moving when he jumped into bed. Then he reached for Terrence's hand and placed it between his legs. Terrence held his growing penis and said, "This is a nice surprise. But I didn't expect it. I thought you wanted to wait." Jude leaned over and bit his neck. Then he whispered, "I just started thinking, life is too short to worry all the time." Terrence didn't reply. He licked Jude's neck, working his way down his chest, past his stomach, toward his groin. His dream had finally come true: Jude had come to him. Jude put 144


his hands behind his neck and closed his eyes while Terrence pressed his warm tongue between his legs and licked his groin. He licked and tasted every last crevice between his legs, taking his time at that soft, tender spot between his balls and his anus. Jude tasted fresh and soapy, as if he'd taken a long hot shower to prepare himself that night. Though Terrence had always preferred the natural salty taste of a man, without the bitter aftertaste of soap or cologne, he sucked both of Jude's balls into his mouth and rolled them around until Jude's toes stated to curl. While he sucked his balls, he reached up and grabbed the huge dick to massage it. His cock was already hard;Terrence felt like he was holding the television remote. Jude opened his eyes, and said, "Suck it. Suck my big, ah, dick." This made Terrence stop sucking his balls and hesitate for a moment. Jude's voice was deep and strong, but it sounded forced and unnatural. When Joe the driver had said suck my big dick, it was clear it was time to kneel. But when Jude's balls slid out of his mouth, Terrence puckered his lips and wrapped them around the head of Jude's erection anyway. He liked being told what to do in bed. Maybe Jude needed more practice with dirty talk. So he wet his lips and took as much of his cock into his mouth as he could. He slurped and sucked, indenting his cheeks and working his tongue against the shaft. He sucked so hard that his entire body jerked and moved; he was determined to get as much of it down his throat as he could without gagging. The only problem was 145


because it was so large, he couldn't suck it in and out like he normally would have done. Jude seemed to enjoy his cock-sucking skills. He ran his palms all over Terrence's head and spread his legs wider. When Jude started bucking his hips, forcing more of his cock into Terrence's mouth, Terrence had to breathe through his nose to get oxygen. He sucked until his face hurt; at one point, he felt light-headed. Then Jude said, "Can I fuck you now?" Terrence pulled away. "Whatever you want, Jude," he said. While it was a little awkward trying to suck off a cock that large, he knew he wouldn't have any problem taking it up his ass. So he sat up for a moment and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. His lips were sore and puffy and his jaw still hurt a little. Then he went backwards on the bed and lifted his legs high in the air so Jude would enter him that way. He spread them wide and arched his back. He wanted to see the expression on Jude's face while he fucked, and he knew that with a dick that huge, being on his back would be the best position to fuck. "Shove it in, man. Fuck me," he said. Jude covered his dick with an extra-large lubed condom, then pressed the head to Terrence's opening and worked it inside. He was slow and precise, trying hard not to cause Terrence any pain. Terrence relaxed his sphincter and closed his eyes, because the initial pain was half the fun. "Just shove it all in, Jude. Open me up. I can take it, trust me." Jude bit his bottom lip and grabbed Terrence's legs. And with one hard slam, he went in so deep Terrence could feel his balls against his ass. First he clenched the sheets with his 146


fists and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. The pain was so intense, his gums were pulsing. Then it subsided, his mouth opened wide and he took a deep, hollow breath. Maybe it was because he hadn't been fucked in two weeks, but when Jude's mutant-sized penis was all the way inside, Tererence's body began to tremble with pre-orgasmic sensations. His balls popped up into his scrotum, his own erection pulsed—even the tips of his toes were ready to explode. "Ah yeah, Jude. Bang me hard now, man. I've never felt such..." He couldn't even finish the sentence—there were no words for the sensations he was feeling. Jude's dick was everything he'd imagined it would be. He only wanted to please Jude as much as Jude was pleasing him. He wanted to get down on his knees and thank the universe for Jude's mutant dick. When Jude started to kick his hips, Terrence had to concentrate hard so he wouldn't explode too soon. Jude was one of those guys who fucked with purpose: his face turned red, he bit his bottom lip and his eyes were closed so tightly, the rest of his face contorted. This determination, combined with the size of his dick, was enough to push anyone over the edge. He clenched the backs of Terrence's legs with his fingers and pressed his knees to his chest, literally bending Terrence in half. And he submitted completely by relaxing all his muscles so Jude could bend and shape him into any position. And the harder he pressed on his legs, the more he slammed into his hole. Terrence took deep breaths and moaned, edging on the brink explosion, but holding back until Jude was ready. 147


A few minutes later, Jude started to grunt. "I'm gonna come," he said. "Me too," Terrence said, knowing this would be one of his internal, explosive climaxes, where the sensation would start at the lips of his hole, travel to his prostate and flow out to the rest of his body. Jude was still holding his legs down; his knees were practically in his chin by then. Terrence couldn't have reached his own cock even if he'd wanted to jerk it off. Jude's face twisted to the right. His breathing became heavy and he bit his bottom lip harder. "Fuck, yeah," he shouted. Then he slammed into Terrence's ass with two hard bangs and came so hard his chest heaved. Terrence had a double orgasm that night. The first one sent a long, thick stream of white cream into his face, and the second sent a thinner stream of cream onto his chest. His body shook with pleasure, and he licked his lips and swallowed his own come. Then he ran his hand up the back of Jude's neck and said, "Ah, buddy. Can we do that again?" Jude laughed. But he pulled his dick out and removed the condom. "I have to get back to my room and you have to get to sleep. And we have to think about rehearsal. The show comes first, you know." Then he leaned forward and kissed him good night. "Why don't you just sleep here tonight? No one will care at this point." Jude frowned. "We can't take that chance yet." Terrence was still on his back with his legs in the air. "Can I kiss your dick good night, too?" He wanted to cradle the big, beautiful monster in his arms and fall asleep that way. 148


Jude got up on the bed and wagged his dripping penis over Terrence's head a few times. Terrence sat up and wrapped his lips around the head and gave it a long kiss. There was a little come left at the tip, so he licked it off and swallowed back. Jude laughed. "You really do love dick. I've never seen anyone who likes to get fucked as much as you do." Terrence shrugged. "I know who I am." But he was a little shocked that Jude had been so aggressive. All those weeks of saying no, concentrating on his singing performances as if his life depended on them. And all of a sudden, there he was fucking his brains out and swinging his dick over Terrence's face. Jude smacked his cock against his lips a couple of times, then got off the bed and put on his sweatpants. "I'll see you in the morning," he said, crossing back to the door. "Have a good night," Terrence said. When Jude was gone, he reached down between his legs and massaged his hole for a while. He tried to pretend that if he inserted three fingers he could still feel Jude inside his body. Then he sat up and phoned Emma. He knew she was probably still awake and he wanted to tell her about his first time with Jude. Emma answered on the second ring. "I'm baking cookies," she said. "I'll drop them off at rehearsal tomorrow." "You're doing what?" Terrence asked. "Baking cookies," she said. "It helps me take my mind off Red, and helps me sleep." He'd known her all her life and he'd never seen her go near an oven. But he smiled and said, "That's good. I like 149


cookies." He was about to tell her about his night with Jude, but he stopped short and said, "I only called to see if you were okay." If he'd been Emma and he was mourning the way she was, the last thing he would have wanted to hear was that his best friend was in love. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Eleven The newspapers had reported the basic information about the shooting and Red Conner's death. But the police told Terrence and Larry that Seth Clifton had been living on the streets of Los Angeles, turning tricks with men in order to survive—and to pay for the postage he needed to send Terrence the hate letters. They found a tattered knapsack hidden in the bushes outside the studio the morning after Red had been shot. It contained one huge, black dildo, a cock ring, copies of his awful self-published writings and photos of Terrence that had been desecrated with abusive comments like, "Kill the fag," and "No-talent cocksucker who takes it in the ass." He carried other photos and press clippings about the show, suggesting he despised everyone and everything connected to it. No one could say exactly how long he'd been living in L.A., but he'd clearly been stalking Terrence for a while. And he'd been planning to ruin The American Star Show because he'd been rejected at the initial auditions. His hatred for Terrence, for the show and for everyone involved had become a sick obsession. Terrence was told he'd probably have to testify sometime in the future, and he wasn't looking forward to it. The day after he had sex with Jude, Terrence went to rehearsal as usual. That week, the contestants had to select two new songs to perform the day after a results show, and he had no idea what he was going to choose. Emma stopped 151


in early with the homemade cookies. It was a good thing that when she'd started doing Terrence's hair and makeup, she'd been allowed to come and go as she pleased. He smiled, grabbed two of the cookies and shoved them into his mouth. He hadn't eaten anything and he was starved from the fuck session with Jude. But the minute they hit his tongue, he wanted to gag. They were supposed to be simple butter cookies, but they tasted more like extra salty baking soda crackers with traces of soap. The bottoms were overcooked, the middles were raw and they had a weird way of crumbling inside his mouth. So he chewed and swallowed the first two, smiling the entire time, because he didn't want to hurt her feelings. "How are they?" she asked. He gulped and smiled, holding back the urge to tremble while he swallowed the final crumbs. "Ah well," he said, "not bad at all." But it was the worst thing he'd ever eaten. Sawdust and Elmer's glue wouldn't have been as bad. "I'm thinking of starting a cookie business," she said. "I'm going to make chocolate chip tonight." He smiled again. It was the first time he'd seen a happy expression on her face since Red had been shot. So he said, "Great idea." "Good," she said. "I'll let you get back to rehearsal. I'll call you later." When she was out of sight, he crossed the room and dropped the entire plate into the trash can. He didn't want to leave them hanging around without a warning label. 152


Then he joined Jude and Becca in one of the rehearsal studios. They'd already chosen their music: Jude was singing two complicated rock songs, and Becca had decided to go back to her rockabilly music. "These are the last songs I'll sing on this show, and I want people to remember me." "You never know how people will vote," Terrence said. "Any one of us could be voted off next week." Then he shrugged his shoulders and said, "And at least you have songs. I have no idea what I'm going to sing." Jude patted him on the shoulder a couple of times and said, "Why don't you sing something fun, some simple songs? Like a Partridge Family song. Something a little retro." Becca stepped back and lowered her eyes. What he chose to sing was no affair of hers. But Terrence smiled and said, "Do you think that would work?" He would have done anything Jude asked him to do by then. "Sure," Jude said, rubbing his palms together. "I think it's a great idea." Terrence thought for a moment, then said, "Why not?" Becca just shook her head and returned to her music. But Jude leaned forward and whispered, "And leave your door open tonight." He reached into his pocket, pulled something out with his fist and shoved it into Terrence's pocket. "I think you'll look really hot in these," he said. When he went into the bathroom later that afternoon, his jaw dropped when he pulled out a pair of black fishnet briefs. He unraveled them and held them up to the light. They were so sheer he could see right through them. Then he tightened 153


his lips and stared at them for a moment. He'd never been into fishnet or kinky underwear. He shrugged his shoulders and shoved them back into his pocket. Well, if that was what Jude wanted, he didn't mind wearing them. They rehearsed until about eight o'clock that night, and stopped for fast food on the way home. Now that they were performing two songs, rehearsal was twice as intense. When they got back to the house, Jude yawned a couple of times. "I'm exhausted. I'll see you guys in the morning." Then he went to his room and closed the door. Terrence said good night to Becca and crossed back to his room right after that. He wanted to take a long shower and shave his entire body so his legs and his ass would be smooth and silky for Jude. After the shower, he put on the fishnet underwear and climbed into bed to wait for Jude. But he felt a little silly just lying there on his stomach, so he picked up his cell phone and called Annie Rose to see how things were going back home. It was later on the East Coast, but it was Friday night and he knew she'd still be awake. "Hi Annie, it's Terrence. I just called to see how things are." She sounded excited. "Well, how the hell are you, Terrence? We're playing poker here. I'm winning." Then she turned away from the phone and shouted, "It's Terrence, right here on the phone." He sat back and smiled.

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Her hollow voice, the Philadelphia accent. The extended, comfortable way she pronounced the word "here"—it sounded more like "air"—made him homesick. "I'm good," he said. "I'm getting ready to go to bed now. We had a long day of rehearsal." "We're all watching you on TV every week and voting for you, hon," she said. "Who do you mean by 'we'?" he asked. "A group of us from the tanning salon," she said. "And Kevin, too. We're a regular fan club." That Kevin was actually supporting him was a shock. He had been picturing Kevin sneering at the television and whispering pejoratives under his breath. "Hold on," Annie said. "Someone wants to say hello." Who would want to talk to him? Why had he bothered to call in the first place? It felt a bit creepy when Kevin's voice said, "So, how the fuck are you, bitch?" "Ah well..." He sat up on the bed and adjusted the fishnet underwear so his dick would point down. As if Kevin could see him. "I'm okay. Working hard," he said. "I wanted to thank you for helping Larry out in the snowstorm. That was nice." He hesitated, then gave a short laugh. "No big deal." He hastened to say, "I was on my way to the new tanning salon I opened. I've decided to start a small chain of salons. I opened the new one near a college and business has been great." "Cool, Kevin." "I'm planning to open another in Center City in the spring." "Good for you." 155


"I'm not drinking anymore either. All I do is work out at the gym and handle the business. A lot of things have changed since you left." "Sounds like you grew up," Terrence said. "Ah well, Annie started this poker group and we play every Friday night." "Sounds like fun," Terrence said. "I sort of figured you'd be out screwing around. I mean, I don't ever remember you being so tame." "Well, I still like to fuck. I'm not a monk." "Ah." "I'm still good at it, too, in case you forgot." Terrence waited a second before he said, "I have to get going now." The last thing he wanted to hear was who Kevin was fucking. Maybe Kevin thought it was just fine and wonderful to talk about that sort of thing now; maybe he wanted to brag a little. But Terrence had closed that door when he'd left for Hollywood, and he wasn't going back now. "It was good talking to you. Say goodbye to Annie Rose." "Hey," Kevin said. "It was good talking to you too, bitch." When Terrence hung up the phone, he grabbed his balls and let out a long sigh. A few minutes later, the bedroom door opened and Jude stepped into his room. He didn't want him to know he'd been talking to his old boyfriend, so he went down on his stomach and arched his back. Jude pulled off his sweatpants and reached for a pillow. He shoved it under Terrence's stomach so his fishnet-covered ass would be high in the air and said, "That looks hot, man." 156


Terrence parted his legs a little, and said, "I thought you'd never get here." He reached down, ran his palms up the back of Terrence's smooth legs, and said, "I'm here now, baby." Then he licked the bottom of his ass, running his warm tongue beneath the outer rim of the fishnet underwear. His tongue went up and down, and then he pressed his hands on his ass cheeks and spread them apart. He pushed hard, massing the fishnetcovered flesh up and down the entire time. Terrence's eyes rolled and his jaw dropped. He spread his legs wider and said, "Fuck me." His heart was racing, and his dick was popping from the waistband of the underwear. "First I want some dessert," Jude said. Then he pressed his face up against the fishnet and started chewing up and down his ass crack. When his tongue found Terrence's hole, he bit down on the fishnet and ripped the underwear open with his teeth. His entire face went forward and he started to lick; hard wet licks, lapping the entrance to his soft, pink hole. Terrence moaned and his toes went up and down. Jude's two-day stubble was rough and wiry, and when it rubbed against his soft skin, it caused electric sensations to shoot through his entire body. His dick was fully erect and his hole begged for more, so Jude stuck his tongue all the way out and rammed it into his hole. It felt long and pointy, and strong to the point of being able to open him up and prepare him for what was to come next. Jude lifted his head for a moment, and said, "You taste like candy." Then he covered his dick with a condom, pressed the tip to the opening, and pushed it inside. 157


There was an instant of sharp pain, but the rimming had relaxed his hole so much it slipped in without a problem. "Ah," Terrence said, when Jude's dick was all the way inside. "That feels so good." He was still amazed he could accommodate such a massive penis, which only made sex with Jude even more exciting. "You like dick?" he asked, bucking his hips with tender beats. "Yes," Terrence said, "I love dick ... your dick. Your big fucking monster of a dick." "I really need to come tonight," he said. He leaned forward and pressed his palms next to Terrence's head, then started to nail his ass as if he were doing push-ups on the bed. "Should I come fast or slow? You tell me. But fast is good." Terrence would have preferred to be on his back again. He liked seeing Jude's handsome face. But he didn't want to spoil the moment, so he closed his eyes and said, "Come fast, man. I want to please you." Half the fun for Terrence had always been taking good care of the man he was with. And if a good, fast fuck was what Jude wanted, he was only too happy to oblige. Jude slammed hard and fast for the next five minutes, then shouted, "I'm coming." Terrence reached down, grabbed his dick and said, "Go, man. Open me up." Then he tightened his sphincter and applied pressure to Jude's cock. His dick was so outrageous, he wasn't sure Jude would be able to feel the squeezing. 158


But Jude shouted, "Yeah, hot man. Clamp down. I'm coming. Ah fuck, yeah." Then Jude fell on top of him and rammed it all the way into his hole. Terrence jerked off into the pillow under his stomach as Jude bit the back of his neck. He continued to buck his hips, pinning Terrence's entire body into the bed. "That was nice," he whispered. Terrence's eyes were still rolling around; he had trouble focusing. When there was a big dick in his body, he forgot about everything else. "Ah yes," he said. "I have a question for you," Jude said, still bucking and grinding his ass with easy, precise movements. "What?" "How serious are you about winning the competition?" He went deeper, and licked the back of his neck. "Huh?" "I'm curious," he said. "How much do you want to win?" Terrence didn't want to think about the competition. He only wanted to lie there and enjoy the wonderful, naughty things Jude was doing to his hole. "I don't think about it," he said. "I'm just doing the best I can each week, hoping for the best." And it was the truth. If he'd thought about it any other way, he would have been too freaked out to sing a note. "Well, just so you know, I really want to win this." Jude whispered. His eyes glazed over and his lips pinched together. He clenched his fists and said, "I want to win it so badly, I can't think about anything else. If I win, I'll take really good care of you." He ran his tongue down the side of his face and shoved it into his mouth. 159


Terrence closed his eyes and opened his mouth. It occurred to him that this was the first time they'd actually kissed during sex. Oh, they'd kissed each other casually, hello and goodbye, but never with Jude's dick buried in his ass. He wanted to say, "And if I win, I'll take good care of you, too." But he didn't. When Jude finally pulled out, Terrence said, "You should just stay here tonight. We can fuck in the morning." He pulled the condom off his dick, tossed it into the trash can and pulled up his sweatpants. "I think it's best if I just go back to my room and get a good night's sleep. I need my rest, and so do you. The show must always come first." **** On Sunday evening, Larry picked Terrence up at the rented house and they drove over to Brian's new place, which was also in the Hollywood hills. Brian had invited Larry, Emma and Terrence for an early dinner. Larry said Brian wanted to get to know him a little better, away from the competition environment. Terrence agreed to go, but he'd been hoping their relationship was only casual and that it would end when the season ended. He was now beginning to think that wasn't going to happen. He wanted to see Larry happy, but Brian was twenty years younger and he lived across the country. He stepped grimly up the front walk, kicking his heels and twice almost tripping on the red pavers. It appeared that Brian's house was as perfect as he was: a pleasant, white stucco building with Tuscan arches and a red tiled roof. The 160


front entrance was flanked with oversized urns and the door was so shiny, Terrence could see his face in the finish. He'd been hoping for a stark, modern square, with minimalist design and a limited plant palate. But all he found was a warm, comfortable entrance hall, charming antiques, and a country kitchen with a large porcelain rooster on the center island. Exactly the sort of house you'd have expected Larry to own if he'd lived in Hollywood. "Brian and I are trying to figure out how we're going to live when the show is over," Larry said in the middle of dinner. "Brian has been asked to host another show in New York, so we're thinking about dividing our time between both coasts. He'll come back east with me when The American Star Show season is over, and I'll come back here again in the fall when the second season begins." "Assuming there is a second season," Brian said. "There will be," Larry said. "The show is a huge hit. There will be many seasons to come." Terrence gave Emma a look. They both knew Brian and Larry had been seeing each other, but they hadn't expected a real relationship to form, much less talk of sharing homes. "You're leaving New Hope, Larry? And your home?" Terrence wasn't sure how he felt about this. "That's not what I said," Larry told him. "When we're on the East Coast, we'll spend the week at my apartment and go to New Hope on weekends. And from now on, my home will be wherever Brain is." Then he smiled and reached for Brian's hand. 161


Terrence gave Emma another look, then he smiled at Brain. Larry hadn't been to the New York apartment since Donald's death. Even though Terrence still wasn't sure about Brian, at least he was getting Larry to join the rest of the world again. "I guess you've thought about this a great deal. And I'm happy for both of you." Then he stood up and hugged them both. Terrence didn't even know what his own plans were. If he won the contest, he'd most likely have to live in L.A. for a while. And even if he lost, he wasn't sure he wanted to go back to New Hope and live there full time again. Then Emma stood up to clear the dinner plates, and said, "I'll start getting dessert ready. I made a huge batch of chocolate chip cookies late last night." Larry and Brian smiled, but that was because they hadn't tasted her butter cookies. Terrence gulped and stared down at his lap, hoping she'd tried a little harder to follow the recipe this time. When she placed the cookies in the middle of the table, he waited for Brian and Larry to taste them first. They looked okay: perfect little rounds with ridges and small dots of chocolate. But when Brian put one in his mouth and started to chew, he sat back for a moment and pressed his palm to his chest. Then he reached for a glass of water to wash it down. Larry was next. He was smiling when he put the entire cookie into his mouth, but the minute his taste buds kicked in, his eyes widened and the corners of his lips turned down. Terrence had to look away; he focused on a large window at 162


the far end of the room so he couldn't see the defeated expression on Larry's face. Emma returned to the table with a pot of coffee. "How are they?" she asked. "I decided to add a few extra ingredients on my own." "What did you add?" Larry asked. Then he swallowed some water. "Cracked peppercorns and cottage cheese," she said. "I used the cottage cheese instead of butter to keep the calories down, and I figured if they could add salt in the original recipe, I may as well add some pepper, too, for extra flavor. You know, that spicy-sweet thing." She smiled and smoothed out her skirt. Then she handed one to Terrence and said, "Here, have one." "I'm allergic," he said. "I'm allergic to cottage cheese. I'm glad you mentioned that." He'd never been allergic to anything in his life, but he wasn't going to eat cottage cheese, peppercorn, chocolate chip cookies. "I never knew that," Emma said. "Isn't that funny? We've known each other all this time, and I never knew you had any allergies." "Ah well," he said, "I guess you don't see cottage cheese around much these days." Larry frowned. "I never knew that either, and I've known him since he was born." "Yeah, well," Terrence said, "I break out in a rash." He shot Larry a look. "Well, that just means there's more for Larry and Brian," she said. 163


Brian smiled. "Isn't that nice?" "Why don't you have one?" Larry asked her. She smiled and said, "I'm really watching my weight right now, and skipping desserts. I gained a few pounds after Red was shot and I have to be careful. But don't feel guilty on my account. You guys help yourselves to as many as you want." **** On Tuesday night, Brian introduced Jude to the audience and he walked onto the stage in tight jeans and a stark white shirt. The shirt rose above his crotch and you could see a large bulge between his legs. When he started singing a fast rock song, his legs moved and his hips bucked, causing the bulge to look even larger. The women in the audience went wild, jumping and swooning and hanging off their seats. He'd always been so careful to make sure his dick was packed down and his crotch looked normal when he was on stage. But now it seemed as if he wanted the world to know he had the dick of death. But Terrence smiled anyway. He knew Jude was working hard to give the best possible performance he could. After the judges praised Jude, Becca pounded onto the stage and sang her rockabilly song. She wore her classic black dress, with heavy black boots that had thick, chunky heels. The judges didn't praise her performance as much as they praised Jude's, but Marco actually said, "I have to give you credit, Becca, you are true to your genre. And that says something about you. You might not be pop idol material, but I respect your integrity." 164


Her eyes opened wide and her head jerked back. "Well, thank you," she said. When Brian introduced Terrence, he walked out to a standing ovation. It was the perfect audience: filled with energy, ready for anything, open to being completely entertained. He wore a white dress shirt, a beige jacket and tight jeans. Emma had spiked his hair a little at the top and he'd managed to get a little sun that week so he didn't need much makeup. When he started to sing his Partridge Family song, the audience went completely silent. Younger people didn't know what he was singing, and the older ones were curious about where he was going. It started out slow, and then worked up to a grand finale. His pitch was perfect, he had no trouble reaching the higher notes, and by the time he was finished the people were all standing again. Rocko and Priscilla raved about his performance, and Marco said, "I wouldn't have chosen a song like that at this point in the competition. No one's heard it in years. But I have to say that you managed to pull it off, and you made it your own. And if your version hit the air waves tomorrow, I think you'd have a huge hit. Well done, Sir. Dangerous for you, but well done." Unsure, Terrence said, "Thanks." Jude's second song that night was just as good as his first, but this one leaned slightly toward jazz. He performed it well, but it wasn't a song most people would recognize in a pop music show. Marco told him, "That was an excellent performance, but again, I wouldn't have chosen that song at 165


this point in the competition. It was a bit self-indulgent, if you ask me. Not everyone loves jazz." Jude's eyebrows fell and his eyes rolled. "Why is that?" he asked. He cocked his head to the side and tapped his right foot up and down. He was smiling, but you could see he wasn't happy about the comment. "Look," Marco said, "This is about pop music, and you're trying to win a competition. You want to be better than Terrence and Becca. They are your competition. It's not a jazz contest. Am I right?" Jude smiled and looked directly into the camera. Then he said, "I just want to sing what I love. I'm not trying to be better then Terrence or Becca. I just want to sing what I love and care about. We're all one happy family when the show is over." "Oh, really," Marco said. Then he rubbed his jaw and smiled. "One big happy family. And you don't care if Terrence or Becca win next week." Jude smiled and batted his eyelashes. "We all love each other," he said. "Terrence is like my brother and Becca is like a sister." When he said that, Becca poked Terrence in the ribs and said, "Yeah, right." They were watching the show in the holding room, waiting to sing their second songs. "What do you mean?" He'd been staring at the monitor, listening to Jude's remarks, with glazed eyes and a thumping heart. As far as he could see, Jude was nothing but honest, strong and extremely talented. 166


"C'mon, Terrence," she said. "Jude is all about Jude. Period. He would do anything to win this competition. What he just said out there, well, he's full of shit, trust me." He pressed his lips together and straightened his shoulders. That wasn't very nice of her. A comment like that, and after Jude had just referred to her as his sister. "I don't know about that, Becca. I think I know him a little better than you do. He's really a very extraordinary person when you get to know him better." "Is that with or without his mother?" she said. "The woman never leaves him alone. Did you know she actually lays his clothes out for him before a performance?" Terrence frowned. She had a point about the mother. "I know him very well." "I'm sure you do, kid," she said, "but if I were you I wouldn't let him choose my music next week." "Huh?" "You got lucky this week when he suggested the Partridge Family," she said, "but next week, when I'm gone, I wouldn't choose any songs he suggests." Terrence smiled. He didn't agree with her, but he said, "Don't be so negative. You don't know who is going home tomorrow night. It could be me or Jude." But she did get voted off the next night. Even though her second performance had gone well on Tuesday night, the viewing audience didn't give her as many votes as they gave Terrence and Jude. Becca knew it was her time, and she'd been well prepared for it. She'd even packed her bags ahead 167


of time and had them waiting in the studio, knowing she wouldn't be returning to the rented house ever again. On her way out of the studio, she hugged Terrence and said, "I'm voting for you now. So don't let me down next week. You are what pop music is all about, so choose what they want to hear." When she was gone, he headed back into the holding room to find Jude. He was standing behind a sofa with his mother and father. He walked up to them with his hands in his pockets and said, "Well, I guess we're the only two left now." Jude's mother looked Terrence up and down with a raised eyebrow, then put her arm through Jude's and pulled him to her side. "And that means nothing but hard work and rehearsal this week," she said. "No time for fun now." Jude's father straightened his shoulders and hastened to add, "That's right, young man. Early to bed and early to rise, as they say." Terrence just smiled and stepped back. But he wanted to kick the woman in the ass for clinging to Jude in such an obvious way. If she'd even had half a clue as to what Terrence had been doing to her precious son in bed, she would have imploded right there on the holding room floor. He thought about slipping his arm through Jude's other arm and pulling him away, but he only smiled and said, "Larry is taking us out to dinner tonight to celebrate and he'd like all three of you to join us." The father's eyes lit up and he smiled. But the mother pulled Jude even closer to her side and said, "I'm afraid we'll 168


have to take a rain check on that, sweetie. We're tired and this boy needs his sleep. But thanks anyway, dear." "I don't know about that," Terrence said. "Jude is a big, strong man with tons of energy. You should see what he can do." Jude's face flushed and he looked away. But his mother said, "We're still going to pass, dear." It was as if Jude didn't have a voice when his mother was in the room. He stood there, glued to her side, waiting for her to make the next move. So Terrence said, "Then I'll see you tomorrow, Jude. Have a good night." He turned and crossed to the exit, where Larry, Emma and Brian were waiting to take him to a new restaurant in Beverly Hills. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twelve Terrence was beginning to see what he was up against: Jude's mother controlled every aspect of his life—and she probably had no idea he was gay. He was pulled and tugged as strongly as if he'd been strung up as her marionette. It explained the rejections to Terrence's sexual advances when they'd first met, his constant obsession with rehearsal and sleep, and his tenacious, aggressive attitude about winning the competition at any cost. A young man who listened to his mother instead of his passionate lover was a young man who had a lot of growing up to do. And he wasn't even aware of what his mother was doing, from what Terrence could see. Because Jude knocked on his door later that same night and said, "I was wondering if you were sleeping yet. I couldn't sleep." "Ah well..." Clearly a booty call. They could have been sleeping together by then. No one but Jude's mother would have cared. Jude crossed to the bed, pulled off his sweatpants and handed him a condom. Then he climbed up on the bed, got down on all fours, and said, "I thought we might try something different. I wanna get fucked tonight." "What?" "You're going to fuck me," he said, arching his back and spreading his legs. It wasn't that Terrence couldn't fuck him. He was perfectly capable, he supposed. It's just that none of the men he'd 170


ever been with had asked him to top. He couldn't even picture Joe the driver getting fucked. And when he was with Kevin in the early years of their relationship, he'd once suggested that he'd like to fuck him. But Kevin had lifted his arms high, and said, "Not me, buddy. Let's get this clear once and for all: I'm the top, you're the bottom. That's why God gave you that hot bubble ass." Terrence hadn't argued with him about it. He just lifted his legs as high as they would go and let Kevin take control. "C'mon, man," Jude said now, grinding his ass in a circle. "Fuck me hard the way I fucked you last night." Any other top guy would have mounted him in a minute; he looked hot. But Terrence's eyebrows went up and he took a deep breath. Then he smiled said, "Let me cover my dick." He fumbled with the condom. He hadn't worn one in years, because there hadn't been a need. It had never occurred to him that even though he could cover another guy's cock with a condom effortlessly, covering his own took a little practice. When his erection was covered, he got up on his knees and asked, "Do you want me to suck you off for a few minutes first?" His mouth was watering for Jude's humongous cock. He hated to see it just hang there untouched. But Jude said, "No, just fuck me." So Terrence shrugged his shoulders and kneeled behind him. He pressed the head of his dick into Jude's hole and slowly circled the opening. Jude didn't shave his body like he did. There were two half rings of dark hair on each side of the hole that reminded Terrence of old-man eyebrows. Then he shoved the head into the hole and bucked his hips a few 171


times. Jude's back arched and his ass went up higher. "Yeah, fuck me now. Fuck me hard, man." Well. Terrence pressed his lips together and slammed his dick as far up Jude's ass as it would go. He grabbed both sides of his ass and starting grinding in circles. Jude moaned and begged for more, which surprised him. He was still horny and his dick was still rock hard, but something didn't feel right, as if he wasn't connecting the way he should have been. "That's it," Jude said. "Harder, man." His eyes were closed and his head was tilted all the way back by then. Terrence must have been doing something right, so he grabbed his waist with both hands and rammed it in and out as hard as he could. He fucked him such force, his balls slapped against Jude's ass. His movements were fast and constant, never stopping or hesitating for a second. And the more he fucked, the more Jude begged for more. A few minutes later, Jude reached down and jerked his cock. It was as long and hard and wide as Terrence had ever seen it get. Then he said, "I'm getting close, man. Keep fucking so we can come together." Terrence continued to fuck, but he wasn't close at all. As a matter of fact, he'd never been so far from a climax in his life. But he lied and said, "I'm close too. I'm really close, man. I'm gonna come soon." What else could he say? That if there had been a TV show on, he would have been watching? Or that he'd been holding back a yawn since he'd mounted him and he couldn't stop looking at the clock on the night table? 172


"Ah yeah," Jude moaned, jerking his cock faster, "I'm gonna blow ... fuck me harder, man." Then Terrence shouted, "Here I go. I'm coming." He slammed into him three times, grunted once, and then went as deep as he could go. He'd never faked an orgasm in his life, but he appeared to be pretty good at it. Jude had climaxed by then. His come was on the bed cover and his penis was dripping. He bellowed a long sigh and said, "Ah, that was good." Terrence smiled. It really did feel good to please him, and maybe this was the beginning of a new chapter in his life. Maybe he'd become a top stud after this. "Ah yeah," he said, then pulled out and turned in the opposite direction so Jude wouldn't be able to see that the condom was empty. He yanked it off quickly and tossed it into a trash can on the other side of the nightstand. And without even stopping to notice that Terrence's dick was bone dry, Jude rose from the bed, put on his sweats and kissed him goodnight. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said. "It's a big week coming up, and we'd better get some sleep now." But when he moved to the door to leave, the only thought that ran through Terrence's mind was, what a terrible waste of a big, beautiful penis. And he was still horny, too. So he waited a few minutes for Jude to get settled in his bedroom, then wrapped a short towel around his waist and slipped out into the hall. He crossed on his tiptoes so the housekeeper wouldn't hear him, toward the front entrance where he knew there was a security guard. When he'd passed the guard on the way inside earlier 173


that night, he'd held the door open and smiled. Though he wasn't sure if the guard was into guys, he figured it couldn't hurt to find out. When he reached the front door, the guard's back was facing him. He tapped on the glass and smiled. The guard turned quickly and opened the door a crack. He had curly blond hair, soft blue eyes and thin, even lips. "I was wondering if you could help me turn my mattress over," Terrence said. "I'm having trouble sleeping and I think it would help." He spoke softly, with his head titled down and his eyes looking up. The guard looked him up and down and smiled. "I wish I could help, but I can't leave my post. I could get fired." His voice was deep and soft, and he looked directly into his eyes. Terrence sighed. But he could see that he was interested; his expression gave it away. "Ah well, I just thought I'd ask." Then he stretched and yawned. When his arms went up and his stomach went in, the skimpy short towel dropped to the floor. The guard laughed and shook his head. "You forgot to put on our pants, my friend." "I guess I should have made the towel more secure," he said. Then he wet his lips and stared down between the guard's legs. "Are you sure you can't leave your post for just a minute? What happens if you have to go to the bathroom?" The guard rubbed his jaw and smiled. Then he placed his hand on Terrence's ass and said, "There is a camera out here, and I can leave for a couple of minutes. But not for long." Terrence grabbed his other hand and said, "Follow me." 174


When they were in his bedroom, he reached into the nightstand for a lubed condom and handed it to the guard, then leaned over the back of a chair. While he spread his legs, the guard unfastened his pants, let them drop to his knees and covered his erection. It was sticking out of pale blue boxer shorts; he didn't bother to pull them down. He grabbed Terrence's ass, leaned back and shoved it all the way into his body. No wasted foreplay or tenderness—just one good poke. Terrence closed his eyes and swallowed back; his cock was average in size, but concrete and ready to slam. So Terrence lifted one leg up and rested his foot on the arm of the chair. He didn't have to buck his hips or move them in circles. All he had to do was brace one hand on the back of the chair and wrap the other around his own dick. For the guard started to fuck and vibrate as if they were in a race to see who could come first. His cock rubbed and massaged Terrence's hole so violently he was ready to explode at any moment. Then the guard raised his hand and started slapping his ass with his open palm—loud, ear-splitting cracks against his bare skin that stung and pinched. He bucked with more speed, as if someone had pressed the fast forward button. "Yes," he said, still slapping, "Yes, yes." Terrence was bouncing back and forth so much he couldn't speak; he could barely catch his breath. So when the guard shouted yes, he came all over the back of the chair. At the exact moment he climaxed, the guard slapped his ass and he nearly lost his balance. 175


He pulled out fast and said, "Thanks. I wish I could stay longer, but I don't want to get fired." Terrence stood up and turned to face him. "It's cool, man," he sai. "This was fun." Then he reached down and pulled the condom off his dick. He figured the guard would appreciate the gesture, and he wanted to make sure he actually came inside the condom. After the way he'd faked his orgasm with Jude earlier that night, he wanted to know. He lifted the used condom up and smiled; it was filled to the tip. **** The next morning, there were bruises on his ass. Nothing serious, just red imprints the guard had left there the night before. He should have felt guilty about them when he met Jude in the car that morning. But when Jude said, "Next week, if things turn out like I think they will and I win the competition, we're going to take a long, expensive vacation for a couple of weeks," Terrence just smiled and said, "That sounds nice." The car radio report said it was a warm morning, even for that time of year in Hollywood. Terrence just listened quietly and smiled the rest of the way as Jude talked about all the plans he had for them when the competition was over and he was the grand prize winner. He even said, "Don't worry. I'm sure there will be plenty of offers for you too, when this is over. The runner-up is always treated well." "I guess," he said. But Terrence had a sneaking suspicion that every contestant who got voted off and didn't win the 176


grand prize wound up being dropped off at a curb near the airport without so much as a thank you. When they arrived at the studio, there was a brand-new BMW convertible blocking the back entrance. As soon as their driver stopped, the front door of the BMW opened wide and Payton Dugan got out. She walked toward the entrance with her chin up high, pretending she hadn't seen them arrive. When Terrence slammed his door shut, she turned and said, "I'm back." He smiled. "What are you doing here?" "Martin Kasbeck and I are seeing each other," she told them. "He left his wife last week and bought me this new car. We're living in his condo in Malibu for now. So you'll be seeing a lot more of me." Terrence gave Jude a look and smiled again. "Isn't that nice?" But he could have predicted something like this. If she couldn't get away from the old husband with a singing career, then she'd break free with Martin Kasbeck. "Well, it was nice seeing you," Jude said. "We have to get to work now. We have a busy week ahead of us." "Have you heard about the new Web sites?" Payton asked. They looked at each other and shrugged. "Well, all these new Web sites have popped up in the last few days about Jude's bulge," she said. Terrence blinked. "His what?" "His bulge. His pouch," she said. "Can you imagine? The entire country is obsessed with your penis, Jude." She giggled a few times and rubbed her palms together. 177


Jude just waved it off and laughed. But Terrence had a sinking feeling in his stomach for the rest of the morning. And he decided he wasn't going to take any chances with the songs he chose to sing that week. He even called Emma to ask for her advice. "I'm going to do a song from earlier in the competition," he said. "The Peter Allen song I did after Payton stole my music. The audience went wild and I think I did it well." She was baking a batch of lemon tarts that morning. "That sounds good," she said. "What about the second song?" "I was thinking about a classic," he said, "I know it's been done before, but everyone loves Somewhere Over the Rainbow and I think I can add my own sound to it well." "Ha," she said. "I was hoping you'd choose a killer song this week, because Jude seems to be getting all the attention lately." Later that afternoon, when he mentioned his song choices to Jude, he smiled and patted him on the back. "I think they are good songs," Jude said, quickly changing the subject to his music. "I've decided to sing what I sing best. I chose two very complicated jazz songs that are going to require a great deal of rehearsal." Terrence put his hands in his pockets and smiled, then said, "Maybe you should stick with more familiar pop songs. Marco did mention that last week, if you remember." But Jude only laughed and waved his arm. "Marco Lennington is an idiot. I talked about it with my mother last night and she agrees it's time I let the audience know my real sound. These silly little pop songs are holding me back. The 178


people want to hear the real me, and I have to be true to my genre. I'm going to blow them away this week." "But do you think they want to hear you sing complicated jazz?" Terrence asked. "Oh, I know they do," he said. "Haven't you been reading the Internet? And the magazines? They love me and I don't want to let them down." "Ah well," Terrence said. Then he wished him good luck and went back to rehearse his own music. Jude certainly had things all figured out. Terrence almost felt as if he was wasting his time rehearsing that week. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirteen Larry had offered to help him rehearse for the final show, but Terrence thanked him and insisted on doing it alone. The only time he stopped working that week was when he was eating or sleeping, and even then he was thinking about his performance. On account of the long hours he kept at the studio, there was no time for sex. He still masturbated each day, but he usually did that even when he was having sex on a regular basis. So to take the edge off, he started jerking two and three times a day. He figured it would help calm his nerves. But it didn't work. When he thought about the final show, the grand finale of the season that was being advertised and promoted all over the country, his heart beat faster and his mouth went dry. On Tuesday he woke with a sore throat from too much singing. He'd been rehearsing sixteen hours a day since Thursday, working so late on Monday night that his vocal instructor had been the one to call it night—and she could go on for days. By that time, he knew his songs so well he could have sung them backwards, which might have been a good idea if he wanted to get some attention. When he turned on the radio, they were talking about Jude Foster. When he turned on the TV, they were showing clips of Jude's past performances. And when he stopped to buy a pack of breath mints at a small grocery store, the young girl working behind the counter asked what it was like to work with Jude Foster. 180


So Terrence decided not to rehearse at all on Tuesday, and save what little of his voice was left for his performance. When they arrived at the studio that night, there were thousands of fans screaming and waving their arms. The street was roped off, and police and security were there to keep things orderly. Jude was on the edge of his seat as they drove by, smiling and gaping at all the people carrying banners with his name. They were all ages, and a few of the teenage girls were actually wiping tears from their faces. Jude cracked the back window open so he could hear them shout. But Terrence sat back and folded his hands across his lap. There were some banners with his name, too. But mostly about the crowd was there for Jude. Jude practically jumped out of the car to meet his mother in the holding room. But Terrence emerged from the back seat and walked into the studio's rear entrance with less enthusiasm, taking deep breaths and slow strides. He went to the dressing room, where Emma was already waiting to do his hair and makeup. There was a huge tray of peanut butter cookies on the counter, and the tallest, most beautiful arrangement of red roses he'd ever seen. "I baked you some cookies," Emma said. "Thanks. But I'm going to hold off until after the show." Though he knew her intentions were the best, the last thing he needed was a mouthful of her cookies that night. Then he bent down to smell the roses and asked, "Are these from Larry? They are fantastic." He was a little shocked. Larry wasn't the type to send flowers; he thought they were a 181


waste of time and money. He was more apt to make a donation to charity in someone's name instead. "They just arrived," she said. "I don't know who sent them. But there's a card." When he pulled the card out from the holder and opened it, his eyes widened and he stepped back. Then he read the card again to be sure. "They're from Kevin," he said. She dropped her comb. "Seriously?" "That what it says on the card." She pulled the card out of his hand and read it aloud. "It says, 'I'm here for you, bitch.'" Then she handed it back and asked, "How can you be so sure it's from Kevin?" He shook his head and laughed. "Trust me," he said. "It's from Kevin." An hour later, he walked back to the holding room to wait for the show to begin. There had been an informal dress rehearsal the day before, and that night it was just the live show. He wore a simple black suit with a white dress shirt open at the collar. Jude was already there, sitting with his mother and father on one of the sofas. He was wearing a white suit with a black shirt. When Jude's mother saw Terrence, she grabbed Jude's arm and said, "Well, look at that. You guys couldn't look more like total opposites tonight." He laughed along with her. But he wanted to kick her in the ass. Larry arrived to offer a few words of support. He hugged him and said, "I have a little surprise for you." Then he turned toward the entrance door and said, "C'mon in, guys." 182


Annie Rose rushed through the doorway. Her arms flew in the air and she shouted, "We've been planning this for weeks. I can't believe I'm actually here." She'd bleached her hair and lost a ton of weight since Terrence had last seen her. If it hadn't been for her nasal voice, he might not have recognized her at all. Then came the last person he would have expected to see that night. Kevin loped into the holding room with his hands in his pockets. He wore a beige suit and a pale blue shirt. He looked different, too. His face was more chiseled and his body looked leaner, just like he'd looked when he was in high school, back when they'd first met. He pulled his hands from his pockets and spread his arms out wide. Then he smiled and said, "You know I wasn't going to miss this, bitch." Terrence hugged and kissed Annie Rose first, but he couldn't take his eyes off Kevin. His heart beat faster and his stomach jumped a couple of times. He was actually glad to see him. So he crossed the room and gave him a long, tight hug. When he pressed into his body, he sighed and said, "I had no idea you'd be here tonight. Thanks for the roses. You never did anything like that before." "Ah well," Kevin said. "I haven't had vacation in a while, so I decided to pack old Annie up and watch my bitch sing." Then he reached down and squeezed his ass as hard as he could a couple of times. Terrence's eyes closed and there was a pull in his groin. But he stepped back fast and said, "Be good. People are watching." 183


"And since when did I ever care about what other people think?" he said. Then he raised his hand and waved his fingers at Jude and his parents with a mock smile. They'd been watching the entire time. No one could miss the way Kevin had grabbed his ass. Jude's father was smiling, but his mother's eyebrows were raised and her hand was pressed to her throat. Jude was just staring with his mouth half open. But there wasn't time to introduce anyone because the show was about to begin and they had to take their seats in the audience. When it was just Jude and Terrence, Jude sat next to him and asked, "Who was that guy? The one who couldn't keep his hands off your ass?" It really was none of his business. But Terrence smiled and said, "That was my ex-boss. He flew out with a friend to see the show tonight." It wasn't a total lie. He just didn't bother to mention anything else about Kevin. "It's so good to see them." "Well, he should be a little more discreet in public," Jude said. "My mother almost fainted when she saw him grab your ass like that. She was mortified. And what if one of the judges had seen that? The American Star Show is family oriented, after all. Trust me, you don't need people like that guy to harm your reputation, or mine." Normally, Terrence would have smiled and agreed just to placate him. But all of a sudden blood rushed to his face and he felt hot, almost light-headed. All those weeks of hearing about how they needed to get plenty of rest, and how they had to focus on their performances above and beyond 184


anything else, came crashing forward. The nights he'd gone to bed and jerked off alone because Jude was only concerned with his image on the show and what everyone else thought. Terrence was tired of it all. So tired of having to smile at Jude's condescending, overbearing mother; sick to death of the way she hooked her crooked claws into Jude's arm whenever he walked into a room. The mushy way she gazed at her son made him want to vomit. So he clenched his fists and said, "Maybe if your namby-pamby father would grab your mother's fat ass in public once in a while, she wouldn't be so worried about controlling every last aspect of your life." Then he stood up from the sofa and went to the bathroom to calm down. By the time he returned, Jude was sitting alone in an armchair and Brian was opening the show. Terrence intended to apologize; he never lost his temper like that and he hated doing it. But when Jude turned his head in the other direction and snubbed him, he sat down on a sofa at the opposite end of the room and folded his hands calmly. Jude went out first. The audience stood to applaud him— they jumped and rocked and howled. But when he started to sing, they sat back and tilted their heads sideways. Most of them had never heard the jazz song he'd decided to perform. He did it very well; he even got into some serious scat singing, with random sounds and no words at all. And when he was finished, they applauded him. But no one stood up and cheered, and no one shouted his name. Priscilla was dumbfounded. "Ah, that was very good," she said. "I'm not sure I would have chosen a song like that 185


tonight, but you did it well, at least." Then she turned to Rocko and shrugged her shoulders. Rock said, "I agree with Priscilla." He stared down at the desk and frowned. Marco lifted his arms in the air and shouted, "What on Earth was that? This isn't a jazz competition. It's a pop competition." Jude stepped back and lowered his eyebrows. "Maybe you just don't get what I'm trying to do, is all." His face turned red and he clenched his fist around the microphone. His tone was deep and low, with indignation and disgust. "You're the one who doesn't get it, young man," Marco said. "I only hope your next song is a better choice." When he walked off the stage, he walked past Terrence, not acknowledging him. His fists were still clenched and his face was still red. Brian introduced Terrence, and he walked onstage with wobbling knees. If the audience had been that hard on Jude, he couldn't even begin to imagine what they'd do to him. So he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and started singing the Peter Allen song. He'd always had a strange pattern. Right before he went onstage, he was a physical wreck. But when he started to sing, an unusual calm took over and he stopped being afraid. He couldn't really see or feel anything except the music. A few minutes later, the audience went wild. They stood to applaud; they shouted and hooted and screamed his name. Both Priscilla and Rocko offered the best comments he'd had all season while he stood there quietly and smiled. 186


Then Marco said something he didn't expect to hear. "That was a perfect example of what this show is about, Terrence. You are strong competition for Jude." After more commercials and another tribute to Red Conner—poor Red, the greedy network was milking his death for all it was worth and the viewers loved it—Brain introduced Jude for his second performance. But it was almost a repeat of the first one. The song was serious jazz and he received the same reaction from the audience. Priscilla and Rocko were kind, and praised his talent as a jazz artist, but Marco just lifted his hands in the air and said, "No comment from me this time." The last performance that night was given by Terrence. He did his rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow and the audience couldn't control themselves. Women were in tears and men banged their fists on the backs of chairs. Priscilla said he'd raised the bar and had come a long way since the first week of the show, Rocko rolled his arm around and said he'd nailed it that night, and Marco literally thanked him for ending the show and the season on such a positive note. "This could have been a very dreadful night," he said. "But you saved it with that last performance. If I were Jude Foster, I'd be very worried." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Fourteen After the show, Jude's parents ran backstage to console their son. Terrence wanted to apologize for losing his temper, but when he started toward Jude, the mother glared at him with one eybrow arched, then placed one hand on her hip. Evidently, she didn't want him near her son. So he turned back toward the exit door, where Larry was waiting to take them all out to dinner again. But at the restaurant, Kevin quietly slipped their waiter a credit card when no one was watchin, and paid for the entire dinner. Larry was almost devastated—he liked being in control of things like that and hated to be beaten at his own game. Brian was there, too, and including Annie Rose, Larry knew the dinner had to be very expensive. But Kevin insisted. "Things have never been better with the new salon," he said. "Besides, I really want to take care of this. I'm proud of him." He smiled at Larry, and said, "But you can leave the tip if you want." Which made Larry feel much better. When it was time to leave, Kevin said, "I'll drop Annie Rose off at our hotel, and then I'll drive Terrence back to the house." Larry gave Terrence a look, then said, "I don't mind taking Terrence back." "I'd really like to talk to him," Kevin said. "And he can help me get around town. I don't want to get lost. I'm not familiar with anything here." 188


Larry was about to speak, but Terrence patted his back and said, "I'll go with them. He really will get lost by himself. He has no sense of direction. We once took a trip to Atlantic City and wound up in Maryland on the way home." Emma hugged him good night and whispered, "Are you two going to hook up tonight?" He stepped back and said, "I doubt it." She shook her head and laughed. "Please. From the look in his eyes, he's going to get into your pants tonight. And from the way you've been looking at him all night, you're ready for it. Just give me the details in the morning." Terrence really didn't have any intention of sleeping with Kevin that night. He was tired, his feet hurt and all he wanted to do was get into bed and pull the covers over his head. So they dropped Annie Rose off at the hotel and Terrence made sure they took the easiest route to the rented house so Kevin wouldn't get lost on his way back to the hotel. They didn't talk much. Kevin kept smiling and saying, "Sure was a good show." And Terrence sat in the front seat with his legs pressed together and said, "Ah well, thanks, dinner was nice, too." When they pulled into the driveway, Kevin put the car in park and turned off the ignition. Then he leaned over the seat and kissed him good night. "God, you taste so good," he said. "You don't know how much I've missed you, bitch." His hand went down between Terrence's legs, then he grabbed his ass hard.

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"Will you still miss me if I lose tomorrow night?" He was worried that Kevin's life change was based on his impending success as the grand prize winner. "First, you should know me better than that," Kevin said. "And second, I couldn't care less if you win or lose." Of course Terrence had told himself he wasn't going to have sex with Kevin, but when he put his big, strong hand between his legs and touched his ass, he sighed and closed his eyes. His arms were around Kevin's broad shoulders within a second and his legs were up in the air. There was no need to wonder about anything. With Kevin, he knew what to expect, and that made him smile. So when Kevin unfastened his pants and pulled out his dick, Terrence said, "Hold on. I want to try something with you. Get into the back seat, pull down your zipper, and lie on your back." Kevin's eyes grew wide and he grabbed his cock. Then he climbed over the seat and did what he was told. Terrence removed all his clothes and threw them on the floor. When he was naked, he climbed into the back seat and straddled Kevin's legs. His erection stood tall and firm from the opening in his pants; his shirt was open and his large, defined chest muscles were showing. Terrence opened his mouth and went down on his cock, slurping and sucking to make sure there was plenty of his own saliva for lubrication, because he was going to ride it when he was finished sucking. He took his time sucking. His cock tasted warm and thick and familiar. He ran it up the sides of his face and pressed the head against his eyes. Then he licked the long, thick vein from top to bottom and sucked the whole thing into his mouth 190


again. When he swallowed back, he closed his eyes and moaned. He had this peculiar feeling of empowerment that night. He was still the bottom, still the submissive, but he felt more in control with Kevin than he'd ever felt. He sucked for a while, then looked up at one point and asked, "How many other people have you been with since I've been gone?" Kevin smiled. "Would you believe me if I said I hadn't been with anyone else?" "Probably not," he said. It didn't really matter how many he'd been with. He just wanted to be sure Kevin had been responsible and used condoms. "How many people have you been with?" Kevin asked. Terrence smiled and milked his cock a few times. "Let's just say that I have been very responsible and I've always used a condom, so I don't have to worry about any STDs or HIV/AIDS." "Good, because I really don't want to know the details," Kevin said. Then he held both sides of Terrence's face and added, "And I really haven't been with anyone else, whether you believe me or not." Terrence knew he was telling the truth. He could always tell when Kevin was lying. His nose wrinkled and his upper lip twitched. "Why not?" Kevin shrugged. "I did enough fooling around when I was with you, and when you were gone, I realized what an asshole I'd been. I guess I just thought you'd always be there." 191


"Close your eyes," Terrence said. He didn't want to focus on the past. Just the present and the future. When his eyes were closed, he wet Kevin's dick again with his saliva and climbed up to straddle his hips. The big cock slipped into his body so well, he almost wished there had been a hint of pain. Kevin moaned and sighed while his hips began to grind in slow, meticulous circles. He placed his palms on Kevin's shoulders and leaned forward. "Kiss me," he said. "I want your tongue in my mouth at the same time your dick is deep in my body." Kevin grabbed the back of Terrence's head and pulled his face to his lips. He shoved his tongue into Terrence's mouth and rolled it around in violent circles. Then his hips began to buck and Terrence's ass banged into it. The car rocked back and forth, but the world seemed like it had stopped moving. Their eyes were closed and their lips were locked. All Terrence could see were flashes of light and waves of brilliant colors. Each time Kevin slammed his hole, his toes curled. Each time Kevin's dick hit his prostate, he sucked harder on Kevin's tongue and swallowed back. When Terrence noticed that Kevin's legs were moving back and forth, he knew it was time to tighten the lips of his hole and clamp down hard on his erection to give him the best possible climax. Kevin stopped kissing for a moment, and said, "That's it, bitch, squeeze my dick hard with that tight little hole. I'm close." "Me too," he said. "Go, man." He clamped the lips of his hole as tight as he could, and started kissing him again. He grabbed his own cock and started jerking off. 192


They both came at the same time, with their lips locked and their tongues pressed together. Terrence jerked off all over his stomach, and Kevin shot his load into Terrence's body with one great slam. When they were finished, Terrence stuck out his tongue and licked his stomach clean. But Kevin wasn't shocked. He'd been doing that for years. Kevin put his arms behind his head, and said, "You should just come back to the hotel with me right now. Fuck this rented house shit," he said. He reached out and pinched his nipples. "I c-can't," Terrence said. He stuttered a few times; his nipples were still sensitive. "I have to go inside. It's the last night and I don't want security freaking out. It's almost midnight now." Kevin's dick was still inside him and he was rocking and grinding in circles. "Tomorrow night we'll know who the winner is and I'm free to go wherever I want." He slapped his ass and said, "Where's my fucking cell phone? I have to vote for you before midnight." Then he reached into his pocket and pressed one number. "You have the show's call-in line on speed dial?" Terrence asked. "Damn right, I do," he said, pressing the phone to his ear. "I've been calling since the show started, as many times as I can in one night." Then he put the phone away and slapped his ass. "That other guy, Jude, sings shit. His music sucks. And he's kind of creepy looking too, if you ask me. I'll bet he has a hairy ass."

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Terrence certainly wasn't going to tell him about Jude that night. "I don't know," he only said. "For the first time in my life, I'm not sure where I'll be the day after tomorrow." After that, he kissed Kevin goodbye and got out of the car. He didn't bother to get fully dressed. He just put on his jacket and carried the rest of his clothes in his arms. When he reached the front door, the same guard with the blond hair who had fucked him the other night was standing at front of the door. He looked down and smiled at Terrence's naked legs. "You look like you've been naughty tonight," he said, rubbing his strong jaw. Terrence smiled. He liked standing there half naked, with Kevin's come dripping down the backs of his legs. "It could be my last night in Hollywood," he said, "and I wanted to have some fun." "Well, I voted for you twenty-five times," the guard said. "Not only because you're a sweet little thing and you know how to get fucked, but also because you're the best singer on that show." "Thank you," he said. Terrence thought about going down on his knees. But after what had happened with Kevin, it just didn't feel right anymore. **** The next day, he packed his bags and cleared out the room. He called Emma at two in the afternoon and told her all about his blow-up with Jude, then about his back seat romp with Kevin. "Are you getting back with Kevin?" she asked. 194


He thought for a moment. "We didn't talk about it. I didn't even think I'd missed him as much as I did until I saw him last night. It's not like he's changed all that much. He still the same person. It's just that he's grown up since I left. The new businesses, no more drinking. It's hard to explain, but he's different now, yet still the same." "What about Jude?" she asked. "I'm going to apologize to him when I see him," he said. "I feel bad about the things I said. But I don't think there's going to be a relationship there." Just thinking about Jude begging him to fuck him made the short hairs on his neck stand up. He needed a man who wanted to fuck him, not the other way around. But he didn't want to go into the details about that with Emma. He talked about what he did in bed in positive ways; he never dissed a lover. When he met Jude in the car that afternoon, the first thing he did was apologize. "I'm sorry about last night," he said. "I shouldn't have said those things." Jude shrugged his shoulders and said, "It's okay. You were really stressed out last night because of the show." Then he shook his hand and said, "I would have been feeling the same way if I'd been you. What with me getting all the attention, and being expected to win the competition, it's a wonder you didn't go berserk last night and punch me." "Ah well," Terrence said. "I'm glad we cleared that up." Then he smiled, because he didn't know what else to do. There he was apologizing, and Jude was passive-aggressively insulting him. He really wasn't jealous of Jude, and he would never have punched him. 195


"And don't worry," Jude said. "When I win, I promise I'll take good care of you." Terrence blinked and shot him a look. Talk about measuring for the drapes before you actually buy the house. "Jude," he said, "I don't need anyone to take care of me. I can do that myself. I'm really okay with it if you win tonight. I'll be a little disappointed, but I'm not going to jump off a bridge. I'm going to be the first one to congratulate you, but I'm also catching the first plane back home so I can get back to my life and continue working on my career in New York." Jude looked confused. "But I thought we were going to be together." Terrence smiled and patted his knee. The night that Jude had wanted him to top and had begged to get fucked flashed before his eyes once again. What a terrible waste of a big, wonderful dick that had been. He should have been the one getting fucked; he should have been walking with a limp the next day. Why, if Kevin had ever asked to get fucked like that, Terrence would have laughed so hard he wouldn't have been able to breathe. "Baby," he said softly, "it just wouldn't work out. We both know that." "I suppose you're right," Jude said, then sighed. "If I win, part of you will always resent me. If you win, I'll feel the same way." That's not the way Terrence felt at all, far from it. He would not have resented him and he wasn't even thinking about The American Star Show. But he didn't bother to explain this either. It would have been a waste of time. So he smiled and said, "At least we can be friends now." 196


**** It was an hourlong results show that night because it was the grand finale for the first season of The American Star Show. Or, as the press had dubbed it in one magazine, "Grand Season Finale for ASS." The show had become so popular, it was almost impossible to get tickets that night. Older Hollywood personalities, always on the hunt for comeback exposure, took full advantage and showed up in the studio audience as if it were Oscar night and they were walking the red carpet. The police had to close the street because of the excited crowds. Terrence and Jude had to perform three songs to fill an hour of suspense, because Brian Masters wasn't going to announce the winner until the last three minutes of the show. Their performances went well that night. Jude went back to singing the rock songs he'd performed at the beginning of the season, and the audience loved it. He wore a red leather sport jacket and tight low-rise jeans so his crotch would stick out. Terrence stuck with his black blazer, faded jeans and white shirt. He performed the one song he'd sang during Broadway week, and the two he'd sung the night before. They jumped out of their seats for him, too. It was a good audience, with explosive energy, and from the way they applauded both singers, it was hard to tell whom they liked better. After a final tribute to Red Conner, with the final eleven contestants returning to sing a group song in his honor, the show went to commercial break. When they returned, Brian 197


Masters was standing next to Jude and Terrence with a small white envelope in his hand. He wore a black formal, and he'd gone two days without shaving on purpose. "Here's the moment you've all been waiting for," Brian said, opening the envelope very slowly. "When I announce your next American Star." His words were cheesey and banal, but somehow, because he was so talented, it didn't come off that way. He looked at Terrence and Jude and asked, "Are you ready?" They smiled and nodded. Terrence had his hands in his pockets and his shoulders were shrugged. But Jude stood erect, with his head held high and his legs spread wide. When Brian looked down at the envelope, his eyebrows went up and he smiled. "With close results, only a few hundred votes apart, the new American Star is..." He hesitated for a second, then said, "Terrence Lorenzo." The audience started to jump and scream. The ending theme music for the show began to play. At first, Terrence just stood there motionless, then his shoulders relaxed and he hugged Jude. Jude smiled and hugged him, but quickly stepped back so Terrence could stand with Brian. Confetti fell from the ceiling as people stood on their seats and waved banners with his name. The camera got shots of Larry in the studio audience. He was hugging Emma and wiping tears from his eyes. Annie Rose was jumping up and down, and Kevin just stood there smiling and clapping his large hands. When he finally looked into the audience, he saw Joe in the fourth row, whistling with two fingers in his mouth. Noah and 198


all his buddies from the hotel were two rows behind Joe, hooting and shouting his name. Terrence smiled and looked up at the ceiling, silently thanking his mother. He had a feeling she was there, too. **** When they finally went off the air, Brian and the other contestants congratulated Terrence. Payton Dugan whispered, "Sorry about the song I stole," and he gave her a hug and shrugged his shoulders. It didn't matter anymore. Larry, Annie Rose, Emma and Kevin stepped onstage to congratulate him. His head was spinning and his heart was racing. Larry kept patting him on the back and wiping tears from his eyes. Emma kissed him on the cheek and said, "I want to be your personal stylist." "That is, if you want me." He kissed her and said, "Of course. You're hired." Annie said with a hug, "I knew you'd win. I just knew it." Then Kevin stepped up from behind and said, "I guess I was wrong." He turned and tilted his head. "About what?" "I thought they were going to eat you up alive," he said. "You're a lot tougher than I thought." Then he put his arm around his waist and pulled him close. Terrence smiled, then took a very deep breath. He may have been three thousand miles from home, but he wasn't homesick anymore. The only one who didn't come up to him after the show was Jude Foster. When he turned to look for him, he was standing at one end of the stage with his mother and father. 199


Jude smiled and raised his hand as if he was about to wave. But when his mother saw him smiling at Terrence, she hooked her arm through his and pulled him in the opposite direction. THE END Visit www.ravenousromance.com for more great books by Ryan Field.

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RyanField AmericanStar

RyanField AChristmasCarl

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