Over Here

OVER HERE

…“I don’t think I’ve had real roots in a very long time,” Harvey finally said. “If I thought someplace else could give me something I didn’t have here, I could probably do it.” Zach’s fingers tingled with the words. Now wasn’t the time to convince Harvey to go with him to California. Later. If he stayed for the week, and everything went well, and it was just like old times, he could try. But a part of him—a large part of him—didn’t want to go home without Harvey. He would do it, of course, but he wouldn’t like it. “Well, that’s the thing about you, Harvey. You could always do what needed to be done. Even if the choice wasn’t easy.” It was Harvey’s turn to glance at him. “You say that like you couldn’t, and we both know that isn’t true.” “I don’t know. The last time I had a hard choice to make, it took me ten years to do it.” More silence. This was one of the things that was different. This Harvey seemed to like taking time putting his thoughts together a lot more than the Harvey he remembered. “We never used to have a problem with getting past the tough decisions.” Though his voice was low, almost tense, Harvey’s grip on the steering wheel remained lax and sure. “I don’t want to be a hard choice for you, Zach. That was one reason why I let you go.” “You were never a hard choice for me. Even with all the

consequences…everything that could have happened…it wasn’t hard to choose you…”

ALSO BY JAMIE CRAIG At The Advent Of Dusk Clandestine Love Double Down Fortune’s Honor His Very Own Keeping Time A Little Bit Bewitched Nowhere Man Time In A Bottle Calendar Boys, Vol. I & II The Master Chronicles Book I: Master Of Obsidian Book II: Unveiled Book III: Mosaic Moon Book IV: Seduction In Black And White Book V: Chaos & Communion Book VI: Dominion Calendar Boys January: Miami’s Perfect Weekend February: Mine March: Kiss Me April: Out Of The Storm May: Corazón June: Commencement July: Vintage August: Scorched September: A Simple Truth

CALENDAR BOYS

NOVEMBER: OVER HERE BY JAMIE CRAIG

AMBER Q UILL PRESS, LLC http://www.AmberQuill.com

CALENDAR BOYS NOVEMBER: OVER HERE AN AMBER QUILL PRESS BOOK This book is a work of fiction. All names, characters, locations, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination, or have been used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, locales, or events is entirely coincidental. Amber Quill Press, LLC http://www.AmberQuill.com All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be transmitted or reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher, with the exception of brief excerpts used for the purposes of review. Copyright © 2008 by Pepper Espinoza & Vivien Dean ISBN 978-1-60272-409-9 Cover Art © 2008 Trace Edward Zaber

Layout and Formatting provided by: Elemental Alchemy

PUBLISHED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

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CHAPTER 1 Dawn licked across the furrowed fields, capping the mounds of dusky earth in gold. They weren’t frozen yet in their winter sculpture, but soon. Temperatures in the Ohio River Valley had been below freezing for weeks, and reports said 1954 was going to end with a silent, icy scream. Everyone in town was already buckling down; Harvey Kramer saw it as just another winter to endure. His bitter coffee scalded his tongue as he stood at the back door of his house and gazed out at the horizon. It was going to be a long day. He’d woken up at five-thirty, just like he’d done for the past twelve years, and it wasn’t until he was standing in the shower that he remembered he had the day off. 1

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Not by choice. “I won’t have you working on the day we’re honoring what you’ve done for this country.” Ted, the owner of the garage at which Harvey was a mechanic, had stood firm on the subject. “If the President’s seen fit to recognize you and all the other veterans, the least I’m going to do is respect that.” Harvey had wanted to argue that the day was still the same, that November eleventh had been a special day the year before, and the year before that, and all the way back until the first time Armistice Day had been created. Just because the folks in the government had it in their heads to change the name and call it Veterans Day didn’t make it all that different in his mind. But nobody argued with Ted Garst. He was a bastion in the small village of Pomeroy. He’d grown up with Harvey’s father, and he’d given Harvey a job when he’d been shipped home in ’44. Telling Ted he was going to work anyway would have been an insult of the highest order. The unfortunate side effect of that decision, however, was Harvey now had the whole day looming in front of him. He had to go into town for dinner with the Garsts, but other than that, he had nothing to do. The window in the shed still needed to be fixed, but he’d hired two local boys to come out and help him with that, since the brace on his right leg made it too hard to get up and down ladders. It was a Thursday, though, and they were at school. Harvey downed the rest of his coffee, ignoring the fresh burn in his throat. If he thought he’d actually sleep, he’d crawl 2

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back into bed to kill a few hours. He’d have to settle for puttering around the house. The knock came when he was washing up the few dishes from breakfast. Frowning, he glanced at the clock on the wall. Nine-seventeen. It was too early for the mailman. His nearest neighbor was three miles north. The possibility that it could be Myrtle Garst coming around to try and drag him into town to celebrate him as their local vet made him wish he’d tried going back to bed anyway. Another knock, this one sharper, came as he walked to the front of the house. “I’m coming, I’m coming!” he called. When he picked up his pace, his thick-soled shoe clomped heavily against the scarred wooden floor. Myrtle was going to get an earful for showing up without calling first. Except it wasn’t Myrtle. The man on his porch had hints of gray at his temples and above his ears, contrasting starkly against his black hair. His face had filled out a little, losing the harder lines of his youth, and there were deep lines on either side of his mouth. He stood straight and tall, not a single scar or memory of injury making him stoop or falter. It would take only a single glance to tell a person that this man was ex-military, one of the veterans being honored by the re-named holiday. If his clothes were anything to go by, the years after the War had been kind to him. And it had been years since Harvey had thought of him, and even longer since he’d seen him, but the name quickly came to mind. Like it had never really left. Zach Jones. 3

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The smile on his face was hesitant, but his eyes were warm. “Sergeant Harvey Kramer?” He straightened on instinct, squaring his shoulders. Zach had a solid four inches on him. Standing next to him in line had always made it easy to pull himself to attention. “Holy cow.” His arms itched to pull Zach into a hug, but too much time had passed apart to breed that kind of familiarity, even after everything they had been through together. “Well, you can’t be a ghost. You’re still too damn good-looking.” “God, I’m so happy it’s you.” Zach obviously didn’t have the same compunctions. He pulled Harvey into a big hug, his arms strong as they wrapped around Harvey’s back. “I didn’t know how many Harvey Kramers there could be in Ohio…” He stepped back, his smile wider. “But I thought I was going to meet every single one of them before I found you.” The tips of his ears burned. “You’ve been looking for me?” The quick embrace brought back a rush of tangled memories, most of them shadowed in darkness, all of them heated with emotions he’d long since buried. “Why?” “Old time’s sake. I was always sorry that I lost track of you like I did.” Old times. Over a decade since they’d last seen each other. Eleven years where each had moved along separate paths, and now they were converging again. Because of Zach and his initiative. Harvey grinned. Same old Zach. “Don’t just stand there.” He stepped back and out of the 4

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way, holding the door open wider. “Get in here. Tell me what you’ve been doing. You want some coffee? I can put on a fresh pot.” “Coffee would be great, thank you. It’s colder than a witch’s tit out here. How can you stand it?” “This? This is nothing. We’ll be seeing snowdrifts before Thanksgiving, I’ll betcha.” Harvey shut the door and beckoned Zach to follow him through the house to the kitchen. “You must’ve gone back out to California after you got out. Your blood’s gone thin again.” “Back to Anaheim,” Zach confirmed as they stepped into the much warmer kitchen. He shrugged off his coat and settled at the table. His attention darted around the room as he took in his surroundings, but then settled on Harvey once again. “I think the last time I was this cold, we were in boot camp.” More memories crowded his thoughts. When he turned away to fill the kettle, he knew the smile on his face was more than a little wistful. “It’s hard to believe that was so long ago. We were just kids.” “In more ways than one. So, where is everybody? The kids at school?” The question startled him. He’d settled in on being alone for so long, he’d forgotten that others might not necessarily expect it of him. He’d certainly never expected Zach to think he’d come home and get married. “No, no kids. It’s just me out here.” “Oh, well, that’s good. I mean, it’s not good that you’re all alone out here. But it’s good that nobody’s going to…interrupt 5

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us.” Zach cleared his throat. “I’ll take that coffee black, please.” The thought of having Zach all to himself after all these years made his body tight. It remembered. It remembered all of it, even when Harvey wished fervently it would forget and stop tormenting him. “What about you?” It was easier to concentrate if he focused on chitchat. “I’m sure you had a whole string of starlets waiting for you when you got back. Which one is the lucky girl?” “She wasn’t a starlet. She was a tennis player named Anne. I met her after I started school and married her right after I graduated. But she…passed away a few years ago.” “I’m sorry.” And he was. If there was one person in this entire world Harvey wished good things for, it was Zach Jones. He had always known Zach would come back to civilian life and lead the American dream; not even his most fervent hopes could erase the kind of man Zach was. He was the kind others looked up to, with all the charisma and brains to go far. Harvey had always been grateful he’d noticed the scrawny redhead who happened to be good with his hands. Their friendship had made grueling situations—many of them life-threatening—tolerable. Pouring out two cups of coffee, he carried them over to the table and sat down. “How much longer were you in after I got discharged?” “I had enough points to go home after V-E Day. So a very long, very lonely twenty months.” That was longer than the time they’d known each other, 6

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even taking into consideration boot camp. To think Zach had spent that time without someone to help him through it… Harvey had convinced himself of a lot of things over the years, including the fact that Zach would replace him. Why shouldn’t he? He was gregarious and well liked. Their friendship had been a deep one, and they’d said and done things he’d never shared with anyone, but that didn’t necessarily mean he expected to be anomalous. It struck hard to think Zach had spent the remainder of the war without someone to help shoulder the load. “Well, you came home in one piece, it looks like.” Harvey braved a smile. “Always knew they wouldn’t be able to take you down.” “Lucky me, you were right.” Zach sipped from the coffee. “How are you? I tried to find out your prognosis, or, well, anything I could about your injury. I was hoping you’d write and let me know.” He looked up, his eyes wider. “Did you write?” “A couple times while I was still in the hospital. When I didn’t hear anything…” He shrugged, more than a little guilty he hadn’t tried harder to stay in touch. “Then I came home, and I was so busy trying just to get by… I know. It’s not an excuse. I guess I wasn’t sure you’d want to hear from me, and I didn’t want to put you in a position to tell me to fuck off.” “They must have lost your letters. I wouldn’t have told you to fuck off.” Zach shifted in his chair. “But you’re okay now?” “I’m holding my own. I still have to wear a brace, but at least it means no more twenty-mile hikes in the pouring rain.” 7

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He couldn’t resist a quick sweep over his old friend. “Though you look like you could still manage one. What’re you doing out in sunny California that lets you get all duded up like that?” “I’m a civil engineer for the city of Los Angeles. You hear about the freeways we’re building out there? I’ve been involved with that project since its inception.” Harvey whistled low under his breath. “No wonder you look like you stepped out of a magazine. That’s got to be some serious bucks.” “It pays the bills, such as they are.” Zach smiled, but it wasn’t the easy, carefree smile Harvey would have expected. “I guess I’m living the American dream.” “Nothing wrong with that. It beats being a grease monkey in the middle of nowhere.” “You’re not a grease monkey. Though, you are living in the middle of nowhere. I didn’t see another house on the way up for two or three miles. Doesn’t it get…too quiet out here?” “Maybe,” Harvey conceded. “But it’s what I’ve got. My parents passed not long after I got shipped home and left it to me. It’s free and clear of the bank, so it seemed dumb to sell up just to move closer to town.” He scratched at his beard. “It’s not so bad. I don’t have to worry about neighbors poking their noses in if I don’t want ’em to, and it’s just a short drive to get into the garage to work. Plus, I’ve got a view out the back that makes me remember why I enlisted in the first place. You stick around long enough, I’ll show it to you.” “I’d like to stay…stick around for a bit. I’ve taken some 8

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personal time off. They didn’t want to let me go, but after four years, I thought I deserved a bit of a vacation. I was hoping that if I tracked you down…you wouldn’t send me packing.” “Never.” No hesitation, all sincerity. “Anything you want, you just have to say the word. My door will always be open for you.” “It was just a matter of finding it. The same goes for you, you know. If you ever want to visit California. It’s nice this time of year.” Harvey laughed. “You mean, you want me to come out there next time so you don’t have to deal with cold toes.” “I can deal with cold feet. Even in the War. It’s an icy nose that I hate.” Zach leaned back in his chair. “Can I have the tour? The kitchen’s nice, but I’d like to see everything.” “Oh, sure.” His chair scraped across the floor as he stood and led the way to the living room. “It’s not much, but there’s more room than we saw bunking together.” He was glad he kept the place as spick-and-span as he’d learned in the Army. Myrtle was always teasing him that he only did it so he wouldn’t have to pick a wife to clean up after him, but it was such an innate part of who he was, Harvey couldn’t imagine it any other way. The couch was worn but spotless, and the wood stairs were polished thoroughly. He even made sure all the pictures his parents had lined the upstairs hall with were dusted on a regular basis. It would have been easier to take them down, but they were his history. Harvey took comfort in having them there to look at when he went to bed. 9

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“This one’s the larger of the two spare bedrooms,” he said, pushing the door open. The morning sun streamed through the window, highlighting the forest green patchwork quilt on the four-poster bed. “Take my word for it. You want this one.” “It’s very nice,” Zach agreed. “Where’s your room?” Harvey jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “Across the hall. And the bathroom’s just next door.” “Do you have today off because of Armistice…Veterans Day? Will I have to keep myself entertained tomorrow?” “I do, but if I ask Ted for a little time, I don’t think he’ll mind. I never take vacation.” He grinned. “Besides, he’s got some stupid idea we’re bona fide heroes. I can probably milk that for a few days.” “It’s amazing how many people have that perception, isn’t it? I’m glad you can take some time off. I’ve…I’ve missed having you around to talk to.” The declaration melted the last of Harvey’s defenses. This was his old friend. This was the man he would have gladly given his life for, just to see him walk free and have a future spread out in front of him. The eleven years that’d separated them had only changed them on the outside, not the in. “Me, too.” He started to lead the way back down the stairs, to the warmer kitchen below. “We’re going to have to get some groceries if you’re going to stick around. I’m not really prepared for company.” “Is this it for the second floor?” Zach asked from behind him. Harvey halted and looked back. “Well, there’s the other 10

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spare room, but that’s got boxes stacked all over the places. And my bedroom, but there’s nothing special in there.” Zach smiled. “If you say so. So…what about the rest of your land? How big of a spread have you got?” “Not much. About twenty acres, but most of it’s fallow now.” “Oh.” Zach tilted his head. “I thought you said before that it was bigger? Did you lose some land?” “Sold it. Or my parents did anyway.” Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Harvey leaned against the wall, taking the weight off his leg. It was more comfortable that way. “When I got back, I still couldn’t walk too good. I was using crutches, and then a cane, just to get around. So we talked it over, and they decided they didn’t want me to feel like I had to try and farm, just because that’s what they did. I got the job at the garage in Pomeroy, and they sold off most of the land to pay off the rest of the mortgage and put some money for my future. In case I ever wanted to do something else.” “Oh.” Zach frowned. “Are you okay now? Do we need to sit down again?” “Only if you’re done with the tour. It’s better if I’m walking than if I’m standing still with all my weight on it, that’s all.” He gave Zach his best smile, in hopes of dispelling the worry. “But it’s a very good thing I make my living on my back under a car.” “Come on, then, let’s keep walking. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to imagine where you live. I’ve never been to Ohio before, though. Or on a farm. So…it was hard to picture… 11

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That didn’t sound like I wanted it to sound. I just mean I’m curious about your life now.” Harvey waved him off as they moved downstairs again. “Quiet. Lots of grease. Not much going out…” The invitation to dinner. Damn it. “Except for today anyway. My boss invited me over for dinner tonight. Kind of an honor the local vet thing.” He glanced back, suddenly shy as he caught Zach’s dark gaze. “Would you want to come with me? Myrtle will talk your ear off, but she’s a great cook. And it’ll be easier to convince Ted I’m not telling tall tales if he sees you’re actually visiting me.” Zach’s smile softened. “Of course, I’d want to come with you. I came all the way out here to visit you. I’m just happy that you want to spend time with me at all…I’d understand if you didn’t. A lot of people…they don’t like to be reminded of their experiences.” “You weren’t an experience. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” “You were mine, too. But we weren’t friends under normal circumstances. I know a lot of guys, they came home and they just tried to pretend that it all never happened…none of the killing or dying or blood or…any of it.” This was treading into waters Harvey had steered clear of for ten years. Meeting Zach had changed his entire life; one of the hardest parts about coming home was leaving him behind. He’d learned how to cope with the loss, because at home, certain expectations had to be met. That didn’t mean he’d ever liked it. 12

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“I won’t lie,” he confessed. “I wish I hadn’t seen some of the stuff I did. I’d sleep better, that’s for sure. But I’d never wish to change anything about us. Unless it was to try a little harder to keep in touch after I got back stateside.” “No, don’t worry about that. You were dealing with the injury. I can’t even imagine how much that must have disrupted your life.” “So don’t imagine it. I’m fine now, that’s all that matters.” Resuming his path down the stairs, he added, “And it’s even better having you around.” “Then I won’t get drunk and maudlin about all the years we’ve missed out on.” He gently clapped Harvey on the back. “I’ll just enjoy the few days we have together now.” So would Harvey. He was already wishing he wouldn’t have to say goodbye again.

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CHAPTER 2 Zach had pretended he didn’t know for sure if he found the right Harvey Kramer, but he knew from the moment he found the address that it belonged to Harvey…his Harvey. It had taken several months to get up the courage to use the information, but the news of the impending holiday change gave Zach the excuse he needed. If Harvey didn’t want anything to do with him, he would just say he was looking up old friends in honor of Veterans Day. But it had still taken more nerve than he thought he had to drive up Harvey’s long dirt road to the old farmhouse. When Harvey had never sent him a single letter, Zach had received the message loud and clear. Whatever had happened between 14

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them was over. He tried to accept that and put Harvey out of his mind, though he never succeeded. Every time they had a mail call, he’d wait for something from Ohio. He didn’t expect Harvey to say anything personal. He mostly just wanted to know that the other man was going to heal and return to his normal life, but days became a month, and then a year passed, and Zach thought that was it. Only, once the War finally ended and he finally returned to Anaheim, he was still thinking about Harvey. When he took advantage of the GI Bill to go to school at UCLA, he wondered if Harvey was going to do something similar. When he married Anne, he thought about how Harvey was probably married and had a bunch of children. When Anne had been smashed between two cars one late night, Zach had thought about all the people he had lost over the years. He had counted Harvey in that number and he had thrown himself into his career. A decade passed, and instead of the memories fading, they only grew sharper. He mostly just wanted to put Harvey out of his mind. He wanted to get the chance to say goodbye. He wanted to make sure Harvey was happy, alive, whole again. At some point, he became convinced he could lose Harvey’s ghost if he just made sure Harvey was living. He never expected Harvey to invite him into the house like they didn’t have a decade separating them. He never thought Harvey would invite him to stay in the guest bedroom. He never believed Harvey could have missed him like he missed Harvey. But at the same time, he didn’t know what Harvey 15

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wanted from him. He kept the conversation light and casual and appropriate for two old war buddies. Zach knew he wouldn’t push for anything more. At least he could return to Los Angeles knowing that the best friend he ever had didn’t hate him. The meal at the Garst home was exactly as Harvey had described—delicious, embarrassing, and loud. Very loud. Myrtle Garst talked like she had to call from a different room, and more than once, Zach had to discreetly rub his ear from how much it hurt. Harvey caught him once. The smile half-hidden by the beard he’d never had before could have been an exact replica of one of a thousand Harvey had shot his way when they’d been overseas. That made tolerating Myrtle a little bit easier. With a groan, Harvey pushed away his empty pie plate and slumped in his chair. “I’m stuffed,” he announced. “You outdid yourself, Myrtle.” She beamed, her rosy cheeks flushing even further with the praise. “You’re sure you don’t want any more? There’s still plenty.” “I’m sure. Any more and I’ll bust all over your table.” Ted chuckled. He was as round as his wife, though not nearly as soft. “Take some of the leftovers then. You’ve got company to see to, after all.” Harvey cast a glance toward Zach, his blue eyes twinkling. “What do you say? You want Myrtle’s leftovers, or my hash for the next week?” Zach didn’t care if Harvey fed him pork and beans for the 16

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next week. But he offered an appreciative smile and nodded. “I’d love some leftovers. I haven’t had food this good in a long, long time.” Myrtle beamed at him as though nothing could please her more. She bustled away to get a bowl, and Zach let his attention drift back to Harvey. Had either Ted or Myrtle noticed the way he couldn’t stop staring at Harvey? It was amazing to Zach how little and how much Harvey had changed since he was shipped home. His limp was disconcerting, but his smile was still the same. “Since you’ve got yourself a surprise visitor, you want tomorrow off, too, Harv?” The question visibly startled Harvey. Though he had mentioned again on the way to the Garst home how he was going to ask for the time off, the topic had yet to be brought up. “If it’s not too much trouble.” “The last thing you are is trouble.” To Zach, he added, “Don’t let him do too much while you’re here. Never seen a man work as hard as he does.” “He’s always been that way. Whenever something needed to be done, he was always first in line.” Which was why Harvey had been standing in the wrong place at the wrong time. The flutter of guilt in his chest was so familiar, he barely noticed it. It was so slight, nobody else might have seen Harvey’s shift in his seat. But Zach had spent the night watching him too closely not to notice. He also saw the faint stain creep up the back of his neck, the way it did when he was 17

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uncomfortable. “Well, I do appreciate the offer.” Harvey wiped his mouth and set his napkin on his empty plate. “You mind if we head out? Zach got in pretty early this morning. It’d be good to get a good night’s sleep.” “Oh, sure, sure. You boys got a lot to catch up on, too. Ten years is a long time.” Pushing back his chair, Ted lumbered to his feet. “Myrtle! Hurry up with those leftovers! Harvey’s heading home!” When they were alone in the dining room, Harvey leaned closer to Zach. “You don’t mind, do you? If we stay for coffee, we might not ever get out of here.” “No, I don’t mind. These two are very…overwhelming. Friendly. But overwhelming.” When Myrtle returned, she had more than just one bowl. In fact, Zach couldn’t see her face because of the mountain of food she held. “I was in there packing up your leftovers, and I got to thinking about how both of you could probably use some more home cooking. So I decided to just pack up a little of everything.” Zach jumped to his feet to take the dishes from her arms. “That was very kind of you.” She was still beaming when he exposed her face. “Oh, it was the least I could do. And if you run out, you know you just need to call me for more.” “That’s secret code for ‘Harvey’s a lousy cook.’” He stood to help take his share of the food, his arm brushing against Zach’s. “Which he already knows, Myrtle, so no reason to be 18

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subtle about it.” She laughed. Or brayed, more like it. “Me and subtle parted ways years ago. Now you two get going. There’s a pot of fresh cream for the pie. You want to get that into the icebox as soon as you can.” Ted helped to push them out the door, much to Zach’s continued amusement. Once they were in the privacy of Harvey’s truck, Harvey gave them one last wave through the window. “Well, that wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be,” he said as he backed out of their driveway. “And now I don’t have to cook all week.” “Why did you think it would be bad? It seems like they’d cut off their own hands if they thought it would make you comfortable.” “Oh, they would. They’re like having another Mom and Dad most of the time.” They turned the corner out of the quiet neighborhood and onto the road that would lead them out of town. “Which means they want the same thing from me most parents would. Like settling down. Having kids. Stuff that’ll never happen.” “Never?” Zach swallowed. “You’re still a young guy. It could still happen.” Unless the shrapnel did more than just injure his leg. “Could, yeah. Just won’t. I can’t…I’ve got a lot of baggage. I’m not going to burden it on a wife.” “Oh. But you shouldn’t…condemn yourself to being alone. Of course, I made the mistake of marrying for that reason.” 19

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Zach grimaced and shook his head. “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think of Anne as a mistake. But…” “It wasn’t right,” Harvey finished softly. They were silent for a moment, the only noise the sound of the tires against the road. Then… “Did you love her?” “I…” It was an easy question. Did you love your late wife? The woman you vowed to cherish and honor? The woman who helped you through school when you were operating on nothing more than coffee and cigarettes? Did you love her? “Not like I should have.” But Harvey nodded like he understood. It had always been that way. The more time they spent together, the closer it got to the way things had been overseas, when nobody had understood Zach the way Harvey did. “And that’s why I won’t ever get married. Better for me to be alone on my own than to drag someone else into a relationship where we’re both lonely.” “Yeah, I guess that makes a sort of sense.” It killed Zach to see his friend like this. At least he had a huge city surrounding him, full of interesting people doing interesting things. He could go out every night with a different friend and meet somebody new. From his office window, he could see the entire city, sparkling in the sun. But it killed him even more to know that he could not reach over and at least alleviate Harvey’s isolation. “It’s not so bad. Really. I stay busy, I’ve got a job I love.” The smile he flashed was meant to be reassuring, but Zach found it difficult to buy. “I’m not saying it isn’t better with 20

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you here, but it could be a lot worse.” That was true. He could have lost his leg. Or he could have died. And Zach had had enough nightmares about that very thing. “Would you ever think about leaving? Or are you pretty much rooted here?” Harvey shrugged. “I don’t have anywhere else to go.” “But…what if you did?” He heard Harvey inhale as if to argue, but words didn’t come. Zach watched him think about it, the lights from the dashboard reflecting up onto his face. It was fuller than he remembered, though that could have been an effect of the beard. His hair was longer, too, and he knew without needing to touch it that it would be slightly coarse and thick. “I don’t think I’ve had real roots in a very long time,” Harvey finally said. “If I thought someplace else could give me something I didn’t have here, I could probably do it.” Zach’s fingers tingled with the words. Now wasn’t the time to convince Harvey to go with him to California. Later. If he stayed for the week, and everything went well, and it was just like old times, he could try. But a part of him—a large part of him—didn’t want to go home without Harvey. He would do it, of course, but he wouldn’t like it. “Well, that’s the thing about you, Harvey. You could always do what needed to be done. Even if the choice wasn’t easy.” It was Harvey’s turn to glance at him. “You say that like you couldn’t, and we both know that isn’t true.” “I don’t know. The last time I had a hard choice to make, it 21

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took me ten years to do it.” More silence. This was one of the things that was different. This Harvey seemed to like taking time putting his thoughts together a lot more than the Harvey he remembered. “We never used to have a problem with getting past the tough decisions.” Though his voice was low, almost tense, Harvey’s grip on the steering wheel remained lax and sure. “I don’t want to be a hard choice for you, Zach. That was one reason why I let you go.” “You were never a hard choice for me. Even with all the consequences…everything that could have happened…it wasn’t hard to choose you.” Harvey swallowed. Even hidden beneath the cover of his beard, Zach saw his Adam’s apple bob. “Same here.” It had all started with a single touch in the dark. One that could have been denied, if necessary, but with an obvious intent. Zach hoped the same sort of touch would work again. He rested his hand on Harvey’s shoulder, squeezing him lightly, his thumb moving in a small circle to caress the skin beneath his coat. He wished Harvey wasn’t bundled up. The sigh that escaped Harvey’s lips came wrapped in a near moan. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered. “More than it should be possible to miss anyone.” Tentatively, Zach slid closer to Harvey, moving until the space between them was gone. He didn’t take his hand from Harvey’s shoulder or try for more contact. He just wanted to be close enough to feel his warmth, to smell the soap he used. “I’ve thought about finding you every day. I just wasn’t 22

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sure if you wanted me to.” “Christ,” Harvey swore. “I would’ve followed you anywhere. If I’d known for a second you still…” He took a deep, shuddering breath. This close, Zack saw the slight sheen of perspiration on his forehead. “Nobody else even comes close to understanding about it all. That was only ever you.” Zach couldn’t resist leaning even closer, just hoping that nobody would pass them or notice how close he was to the driver. He didn’t want to cause any new problems for Harvey. But he ached for the contact he had been dreaming about since Harvey was shipped out of his life. “There’s so much…I’ve got so much to tell you.” Harvey nodded. “Me, too. Today was good, but it wasn’t quite like the old days, was it?” “No, it wasn’t. But it could be better than the old days.” Zach smiled. “You know, with actual privacy and without the mortar shells.” The answering roll of laughter relaxed both of them. “A real pillow and not your helmet. And no having to hope someone doesn’t spot your prick waving in the wind when you have to take a leak.” “Hell, I didn’t mind that so much as the fear a Kraut would jump out from behind every bush every time I took a squat.” “I told you.” Harvey glanced at Zach, a definite twinkle in his eye. “You would’ve gotten over that a lot faster if you’d just dropped your pants as often as I did.” Zach chuckled. “Don’t think I didn’t worry about the Krauts then, too.” 23

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Navigating a tight curve in the road, Harvey straightened out and eased back into his seat. His hand came off the steering wheel as he shifted, to settle lightly, almost hesitantly, on Zach’s thigh. “I’ve got a twenty-year-old bottle of Scotch I’ve been saving for a special occasion. I think tonight’s probably it.” Zach caught his breath. He liked the sound of the Scotch, but even more than that, he liked the light weight of Harvey’s touch. He covered Harvey’s fingers with his, holding him in place. “That sounds good. I think I need more than one drink.” “What for? It feels like the hard part’s over.” “Nerves, mostly. Just because the hard part is over doesn’t mean that my nerves aren’t shot.” Beneath his fingers, Harvey squeezed his thigh. “Whatever you need then. I’m just glad you’re here.” Zach was more than just glad. He hadn’t been this happy since he stepped out of the cab that took him to his mother’s house when he returned stateside. And the thought that he would have Harvey to himself for the night, for the week— maybe for more—only increased his happiness.

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CHAPTER 3 “Remember Buckles?” Somehow they had ended up in Harvey’s bedroom. Harvey wasn’t entirely sure how that had happened, but having Zach stretched out on his side next to him, his shirt opened and untucked, his belt and shoes abandoned, felt more right than anything had since coming home from the War. The mattress sloped slightly from his weight, forcing Harvey to balance differently, and the smell of his aftershave swirled with the whiskey to fill Harvey’s head. Ten years earlier, they would have both been on their sides, but Harvey’s leg made it too hard to stay like that for long. Now, he lay on his back, his near-empty tumbler perched precariously on his stomach, lost 25

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in the fog of memories. “He ended up marrying that little French gal he was so sweet on,” Harvey went on. “The one he made you teach him how to dance for.” Zach smiled wryly. “I’m glad something good came out of all that pain. The kid had size fifteen feet. Every time he took a misstep, he smashed my toes. And since he had no sense of rhythm or timing, that was often.” “No wonder you kept stealing my socks. You needed the extra padding.” “Hey, I only stole your socks one time. And you weren’t using them, anyway. I should have known you wouldn’t have forgotten that.” “You know what I have forgotten? Every word of Italian and French you managed to drill into my head. It’s like I got back on American soil and it all dribbled out my ears.” “Really? Io ti amo ancora.” Harvey stared at him blankly for several seconds, then shook his head. “No clue. You love boats?” Zach laughed. “I guess it’s true when they say, you have to use it or lose it. You were always a good student, though. I especially enjoyed teaching you the words for various body parts.” He traced the back of Harvey’s hand, his finger light but very warm. “Mano.” He wouldn’t have remembered it on his own. It was the memory of the touch, something tender and careful, that brought it back, Zach’s soft baritone in his ear as he pressed into Harvey from behind. Even now, shivers rattled through 26

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him, the heat from the whiskey notwithstanding. He swallowed against the lump in his throat. “You should try these lessons when I’m not slightly drunk. I’m never going to remember that in the morning.” “I don’t mind giving you a refresher course later.” His fingers moved higher up Harvey’s arm. “Braccio.” Higher still, to his shoulder. “Spalla.” Zach didn’t stop until his fingers rested on Harvey’s pulse point. “Golla.” “Maybe that’s why I forgot all of it.” He had kept his shirt on, but now it clung to his neck, perspiration making him itch. “I didn’t actually use any of this when it wasn’t you and me.” “I guess there’s not a lot of use for Italian out here in the middle of nowhere.” Zach pulled back, breaking the contact, much to Harvey’s disappointment. “Do you mind if I ask a personal question?” “Never.” “Well, I know you never married. But have there been any other…guys?” Harvey didn’t mind, but the question still managed to bring color to his cheeks. “No. I didn’t…I couldn’t…there’s not really much chance of that around here. You?” Zach took a deep breath. “Yes. Los Angeles is…there are places somebody like me could go for company. But never while I was with Anne. Afterward, I was lonely enough to justify the risk.” The jealousy that stabbed through Harvey wasn’t directed at Zach. It was aimed at all those men Zach had spent time with, men that weren’t Harvey, men that got to see what an 27

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amazing person Zach was, how funny, how supportive, how everything Harvey had always wanted. Picking up his whiskey, he lifted his head enough to drain the rest of the alcohol without spilling it onto the sheets, setting the empty tumbler on the nightstand when he was done. “You know what’s so funny? I always wanted to come home so bad, and then when I did get here, I missed being there. I missed a lot of things.” Zach frowned. “Did you? Like what? When they finally shipped me home, the only thing I missed was you.” “Oh, it wasn’t like that. More the intangible. Like the routine. And feeling like I was part of something. Feeling like I wasn’t alone.” He turned his head, drinking in Zach’s dark eyes, the glimpse of his bare chest where his shirt parted. “I came home, and it felt like I’d left some part of me behind, that’s all.” “Yeah. I guess I can understand that. I was totally at a loss when I came home. The whole first year, I’d wake up every morning completely confused. I didn’t know where I was or what I was doing in an actual bed. Then everything would come back to me, and I’d still be at a loss. I might have been in California, but my brain…it was back in Africa and Italy.” “I’m sure your professors loved that.” “I wasn’t in school at the time. I was working at the Safeway. I might have been happy to stay there for the rest of my life, but my parents pushed me toward college. I was probably driving them crazy.” His mouth twitched. “You as a bagboy? I would’ve paid to 28

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see that.” Zach snorted. “There wasn’t much to see. But it gave me time to get a bit more focused.” He tilted his head back to finish the swallow of whiskey in his glass, then licked a drop from the corner of his mouth. “How long were you in the hospital?” “Six weeks. They weren’t sure they were going to be able to save my leg at first. Then I had a few months of PT here.” He shook his leg a little to make the brace rattle. “The hardware’s a lot better than the crutches and cane were. Some days, if I’m not going to be moving around too much, I don’t need to put it on at all.” “Do you sleep with it on?” Zach slid down the bed so he was closer to eye level with Harvey’s leg. “Is it something you’ll have to wear forever?” “Probably, but no, I don’t have to sleep in it. You wanna see it?” Zach glanced up through his lashes before nodding. “Do you mind taking it off?” “I’m gonna take it off to go to bed anyway.” Hauling himself upright, Harvey pulled his belt out of the loops as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. Zach’s gaze was heavy on his back while he worked at his pants, and he had to concentrate on what he was doing in order to get them off his hips and over the fine metal. He had to lean over in order to reach the bolts around his ankles. The fact that his fingers shook the entire time didn’t really surprise him. Zach hadn’t moved when Harvey stretched his bare legs 29

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out in front of him again. Both of them drank in the sight of his pale skin, the even whiter scars twisting along the inside of his calf. Hair grew at irregular intervals where constant friction from the brace wore it away, and in the bare patches, the skin was often dimpled, peppered with scars from the smaller pieces of shrapnel. “Almost lost those two toes,” he said, pointing at the smallest pair. “Then they brought in a new French doc who worked wonders.” He grinned, in spite of feeling so selfconscious about exposing himself like this. “You almost had to call me Stumpy.” “I saw it happen.” His hand hovered over Harvey’s knee. He could almost feel the warmth from Zach’s skin. “Just before the mortar exploded, I shouted. I don’t know if you heard me. I always wondered what would have happened if I was just a bit closer, or shouted a bit louder…” “Don’t.” Harvey touched his shoulder, squeezing it lightly in reassurance. “It’s done. There’s nothing we can do about it. I certainly don’t blame you or anyone for what happened. Well, except for the Krauts. I can blame them. But not you. Never you.” Zach tilted his head until his lips skimmed across the scar just above his knee. “We all had to advance after you went down. When I tried to go back to you, Buckles stopped me. He forced me to go forward, and I didn’t even know if a medic found you. I didn’t know where you were for days.” Harvey felt like throwing up. If he’d been in the same position, he was pretty sure he would have been frantic with 30

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worry. He probably would’ve gotten himself killed trying to find out. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I wish I’d tried harder to let you know I was okay.” “No, you had other things to worry about. I eventually learned you were sent to the hospital in Sicily. I heard reports that you weren’t on the casualty list. And at the time…that was enough. More than enough.” He yearned to touch Zach, more than the fleeting caresses each had stolen at their most vulnerable. Taking a deep breath, he moved his hand, letting it rest on the top of Zach’s head, and the familiar shape of the other man’s skull made him tremble. The hair was softer, but maybe it had always been that silken and only the military cuts they’d been forced to wear had stopped Harvey from knowing that detail. Either way, he felt like he was choking, even more so when Zach looked up and met his eyes. “I used to drive the nurses crazy asking to see the casualty lists. As long as you weren’t on ’em, I knew I could keep on fighting. I think I might’ve given up if something had happened to you.” “Nothing ever happened to me.” Zach shook his head. “That was the…I watched men who weren’t much more than boys just get…mowed down. They would fall and I kept running…waiting for that bullet or that bomb or a Kraut with a blade.” He moved up the bed again. “But I never had a scratch and I…” Zach paused, his face inches from Harvey’s. “I never could forgive myself for that.” “You have to.” Time and experiences Harvey would never 31

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be a part of had etched even more lines into Zach’s skin. Harvey ran his thumb over the deepest one at the corner of Zach’s wide mouth. “I don’t want you to be here just because you feel guilty.” “I’m not.” Zach cupped the back of Harvey’s head, the large hand pressing into his hair. “I mean, I do feel guilty, but that’s not why I’m here. I thought I was coming here to finally say goodbye.” Alarm made him jerk. “Why goodbye?” “Because we never had a proper farewell, did we?” “But you’re not, right?” They had said a lot of things since leaving the Garst home, but Harvey needed the confirmation this wasn’t about closing the door on the past. “We’re going to stay in contact now. That’s what I want.” “No, I don’t want to say goodbye to you.” He moved closer, and his breath warmed Harvey’s lips and cheek. “I never did.” Harvey didn’t fight the pull. He welcomed it. He’d spent ten years without any real contact, any real friends. Now that he had the man back who had opened his eyes and his heart in the first place, he didn’t want to let him go. “We could forego goodnights, too.” He trailed his hand down Zach’s chest, sliding beneath his open shirt to trace around a dark nipple. “My bed’s big enough for both of us.” “I’d like that. Not that we need a big bed to be comfortable. Foxholes used to work just fine.” His mouth tilted. “Don’t underestimate the power of clean sheets.” 32

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Zach smiled. “Yes, sir.” He shifted forward and their mouths touched. It was a soft, close-mouthed caress, but it was far from casual. Far from friendly. Zach lifted his head and swallowed. “Was that okay?” “More than,” Harvey breathed. He skimmed his hand to Zach’s hip, pulling him more flush against his body. “But we should try it again just to be sure.” “I agree.” When their mouths touched, some of Zach’s restraint was gone. He pressed his lips to Harvey’s with more pressure. He seemed very solid. Very sure. Very familiar, because Harvey never forgot the texture and taste of Zach’s mouth. When he had gone off to war, Harvey had known he was attracted to men. In the heart of the Ohio River Valley, however, such desires were kept secret, hidden even from selves if men could get away with it. Meeting Zach had changed everything for him, and not just because of their mutual desires. There was also the friendship, that sense of kin no other man had ever recreated. But if Harvey was being honest, he’d always loved kissing Zach as much as he had being with him. A small sound escaped the back of his throat, compelling Zach to tighten the grip on his head. Harvey sank against the hard body, parting his lips to beg Zach for more, but that was all it took. Zach’s tongue swept in as if it had never left, and Harvey squeezed his eyes shut and shuddered as fresh desire rolled through him. Zach’s breath caught, but he didn’t break contact. His 33

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tongue slid against Harvey’s, investigating each curve, snagging momentarily against Harvey’s teeth. His other arm wrapped around Harvey, chests pressing together as Zach fit his knee between Harvey’s legs. He realized Zach had no intention of releasing him. His mouth only grew hungrier, desperation from the previous decade leaking into each moment. The noises he made became continuous, wordless exultations on what Zach did to him, dizzying pleas to never stop. In many ways, it felt like the very first time, that night before they’d shipped out when Zach had reached out to his hunched form in what he had thought was meant to be understanding of the danger to come. Harvey had reacted on instinct then, practically launching himself at his friend. Nearly every minute until dawn had been spent kissing and touching, learning the other man’s body, bringing each other off more than once. Harvey had had to be silent then. It was the one part of their assignations he’d always hated. Zach dragged his hand down Harvey’s body, warming him through his clothes. He felt the texture and heat of Zach’s hand so plainly he might as well have been naked. They both hissed as the tips of his fingers reached Harvey’s erection. He gripped Harvey through the thin boxers, his fingers like hot bands around his shaft. His head spun. Ten years without the touch of another person, let alone a man. The only pleasure he’d taken was what he’d given himself, and that had always been a means to 34

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an end, a release when he just couldn’t ignore it anymore. Just Zach’s simple touch was enough to make his balls ache, pulling tight into his body already. “I won’t…you feel too…” His quick breaths made it hard to get the words out, but his body thrust into Zach’s grip anyway, seeking out more friction. He abandoned his hold on the other man’s hip and fumbled with his fly, pushing past the buttons and zipper and all the fabric to finally find Zach’s cock. “I know.” He pushed the underwear out of his way and then his smooth fingers were around Harvey’s cock, skin to skin, flesh to flesh. He pumped his wrist and dragged the heel of his hand over Harvey’s sensitive crown. He spread the precome over the tip, and then he was moving down his length again. Harvey crushed their mouths together again, the raw edge of his desire sharpening each kiss. Whimpers joined his earlier moans, but through it all, Zach remained firm and assuring, shifting their bodies to make it more comfortable, quickening his strokes when Harvey finally found his arousal. Zach led the way, much like Zach had always led the way. Harvey adored that. He’d worshiped his friend for it the entire time they’d been together, and it was like finally coming home to be able to give over that control yet again. “Oh…that’s it…” Zach broke away from Harvey’s mouth, his lips seeking out Harvey’s throat and neck. He hadn’t lost a hint of hunger, and his mouth was still demanding, seeking out every inch of skin he could reach. Zach groaned, and the 35

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sound moved through Harvey, vibrating against his flesh. His earlier prediction was swiftly becoming reality. Everything in the room was too hot, too close, too everything, and Harvey gasped for air as they moved against each other. On a whim, he reached down and cupped Zach’s balls, rolling them between his fingers like he remembered Zach liked. The added pressure around his own cock made him jerk, and his head slammed into the pillow as white hot pleasure coursed through him, exploding with a rush to end all rushes. Zach continued to stroke him, long after his fingers were coated with Harvey’s come, but it just served to drive Harvey to pull even harder at his prick. “Wanna feel you,” he panted. “C’mon, sergeant. Let it go.” “God…Harv…” Zach stiffened, his hand joining Harvey’s at his cock. It took two more hard strokes before he slammed his mouth to Harvey’s again. The hard kiss muffled his shout, and Harvey recognized that for what it was—habit. How many times had he kissed Harvey like that while they were in deep darkness, surrounded by a tense, fragile silence? They clung to each other like they feared the other would disappear. Maybe Zach would. Maybe Harvey had finally gone over the deep end and was imagining his old lover to ease his loneliness. He’d worried about that often enough when he had first come home. Trying to figure out how to live again. Trying to figure out how to live at all without his other half. But Zach remained solid and warm, his hands gentling though they didn’t abandon where they touched. Their kisses 36

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slowed and stretched, long tangos that melted him into the mattress. When they finally parted, Harvey’s eyelids were heavy, a match for his entire body. “So much for clean sheets,” he joked. “Still better than the wet ground.” Zach skimmed his lips over Harvey’s jaw. “I thought I was the only one that on edge.” Harvey closed his eyes and lost himself in the intimate caresses. “It’s been a long time for me, not to mention you always drove me crazy anyway.” “You always drove me crazy, too. From the very first time I saw you. Even though you looked all awkward and out of place.” Zach dropped his head back to the pillow, but he didn’t loosen his hold. “I’m glad I found you.” “I’m glad you bothered to look.” His heart was finally coming back under control, and he smiled, happier than he’d felt in years. “I’m even more glad my ugly leg didn’t scare you off.” Zach kissed his neck. “Your leg isn’t ugly. Trust me, your leg is one of the best things I’ve ever seen, considering the alternative.” Harvey knew what he meant, but he didn’t want to dwell on the past, or what might have been. He wanted to focus on now, and the euphoria suffusing his spirit. “Next time, maybe we’ll actually get your pants all the way off before we lose it,” he said. “We don’t have to hide here. I don’t want to hide.” “Next time,” Zach agreed. “Which might have to be later 37

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because you look as beat as I feel.” “I am. I blame you for that.” “That sounds fair enough, since I showed up and disrupted your whole life.” “Nah.” In spite of the mess between them he knew he was going to have to clean up, Harvey nuzzled closer to Zach’s waiting body. “You’re the one who gave me one.”

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CHAPTER 4 Waking up beside Harvey was enough to make Zach admit to himself that he never wanted to wake up alone again. He didn’t know how, but he knew he needed to convince Harvey to go back to California with him. It was too easy to believe that if he didn’t, they would gradually lose touch again. A long-distance relationship wouldn’t be satisfying for either one of them. Though Harvey was up at five-thirty, Zach lingered in the warm bed. He always had such a hard time getting out of bed in the morning. It was too easy to remember every single bitterly cold morning he spent in Europe, every single night he slept on hard ground, every single rock that ever dug into his 39

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spine. He heard Harvey in the kitchen below, moving around in his brace as he prepared his breakfast. Eventually, the enticing aroma of coffee perked up Zach’s senses, and that was followed shortly by eggs and bacon. Zach didn’t want to get out of the bed, but his stomach had other ideas. Plus, he missed Harvey. He ran into Harvey at the bottom of the stairs. Harvey had prepared a tray, two plates heaped with the food he’d smelled as well as toast and fruit salad. The coffee was missing, but Zach only skipped over that detail in favor of noticing the lightly furred chest he’d slept against. Harvey had only pulled on his pants to fix breakfast. His torso was deliciously bare and ready for tasting. “I was going to bring it up to you,” Harvey said with an embarrassed smile. “I was hoping you wouldn’t wake up until after I’d made the second trip with the coffee.” “Why don’t I grab the coffee and meet you upstairs?” Gratitude radiated from every one of Harvey’s pores, and he stepped out of the way to allow Zach to pass. “If you see anything else you might want, feel free to grab it. I did a little bit of everything because I wasn’t sure what you ate these days.” Zach nodded, and resisted the temptation to grab Harvey as he passed. He could have wrapped his arm around Harvey’s waist and pulled him close, but then he would have probably knocked the tray of food to the floor. Instead of creating a huge mess, he hurried into the kitchen to take the coffee pot off the stovetop. 40

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By the time he returned to the bedroom, Harvey had deposited the tray on the desk against the wall. Zach smiled when he saw it. “I guess I should get back in bed, then?” “You’re my guest. I’m spoiling you while I can.” He waited until Zach had set the coffee on the nightstand and sat in his previous spot, his back up against the solid oak headboard. “You want a little bit of everything?” Zach’s gaze lingered on Harvey’s shoulders and arms— pale skin stretched taut over defined muscles. “Yes, thanks. I’d say that you didn’t have to do all this, but I can’t complain about being spoiled.” The view got better when he turned his back to Zach. Though Harvey wasn’t a tall or bulky man, his shoulders were broad for his size, tapering down to a slim waist and a tight ass. They had always fit together well. Zach especially liked when he had to curl around Harvey’s slighter form when they slept. His cock nestled perfectly then, and it leapt to attention now, remembering how blissful it had been waking up next to him. “So we’re going to have the whole weekend ahead of us,” Harvey was saying. He brought over Zach’s plate, with toast and fruit added to it, and set it down on his lap. His limp was barely noticeable this morning. “Any thoughts on what you want to do?” Zach’s stomach growled and Harvey watched him expectantly, so he dutifully took a bite of his toast and cut into the eggs. “What if I said I wanted to stay in bed with you?” Harvey retreated to get his own food with a smile on his 41

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face. “I’d say I’d be surprised if you said anything else. You always were a lazybones.” “Guilty as charged.” It was strange to be eating breakfast in Harvey’s bedroom, but at the same time, he felt perfectly at home. “You know, this is pretty good. After all the talk yesterday, I thought my breakfast would be charred.” “Breakfast, no. Lunch and dinner? Unless you were willing to settle for sandwiches, then odds are pretty good, yeah.” He sat at the foot of the bed, his good leg bent and resting on the mattress while the one with the brace dangled over the edge. “How’d you sleep?” “Best night I’ve had in…a long time.” Since before Anne died. “How about you?” Harvey nibbled at a piece of bacon. “I almost overslept. That hasn’t happened since before boot camp.” “You should try oversleeping tomorrow morning. It’ll be good for you.” “If you’re serious about not letting me out of bed, I probably will.” Zach grinned. “I am absolutely serious.” It was all he could do to keep his hands to himself as they finished eating. Under other circumstances, he would have been focused on the food. It made Zach think about all the mornings Harvey must have made a similar breakfast and ate it on his own. It made Zach think about all the mornings he didn’t even bother with breakfast before rushing out to the worksite. “This really was delicious,” Zach said as he popped the 42

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last piece of toast in his mouth. The shy smile said Harvey either wasn’t accustomed to getting compliments or Zach’s compliments especially hit close to home. “It’s a little weird cooking for more than just me. I don’t ever get company out here.” Zach set his plate and mug on the nightstand, then turned toward Harvey. “Are you done?” Harvey glanced at his not quite empty plate and nodded. “Are you going to let me clear up, or does spending all weekend in bed start now?” “It starts now,” Zach said, gently taking his plate from him. “You don’t have anything more pressing, do you?” “With you here?” In spite of his earlier hesitations, Harvey twisted in order to crawl up the length of Zach’s body, his brace surprisingly light where it nudged against Zach’s leg. “There’s nothing more important.” “Good.” He cupped the side of Harvey’s face, his palm tingling where his whiskers teased the skin. In the bright morning light, he could see the years on Harvey’s face, but that didn’t matter. The changes were superficial. When he leaned in, he smelled the sharp coffee on Harvey’s breath. He didn’t hesitate to press their mouths together, his body tightening as memories—old and new—flowed over him. Harvey had always seemed incredibly young when they’d first met in boot camp, a product of both his size and rural upbringing. Zach had often wondered if things might have been different if one of them had had a different last name. They wouldn’t have been next to each other when ordered 43

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alphabetically, and wouldn’t have been assigned as bunkmates and other things for those pivotal weeks. It was a question he’d never satisfactorily answered. On one hand, he couldn’t imagine not noticing Harvey. On the other, spending a lot of time with one person had a way of coloring all their interactions. One of the superficial changes time had wrought was the beard. Harvey had always wanted to grow one out, but regulations prevented it. Zach liked the way it rasped across his skin as they kissed, tickling along his upper lip, scraping across his chin when Harvey would tilt his head. The potential of how it would feel if Harvey went down on him made his fingers tighten against the other man’s scalp, a gesture that drew a hungry moan from Harvey’s throat. “Can we hang on for just a second?” Harvey panted. “I want to take the brace off. I don’t need it in bed, and it’s just going to get in the way.” “Oh. Sorry. I didn’t…” He had been too distracted to even spare the brace a second thought. He sat back and watched Harvey bend over his leg, performing the same ritual as the night before. It was just a fact of Harvey’s life. Nothing to feel guilty about. Did his leg hurt in the winter? Did the brace make it difficult to navigate the ice and snow? He hadn’t noticed the night before, but he had been busy thinking about other things. The same things that were trying to crowd his mind now. Would things be different between them? If the previous night was anything to go by, he’d guess not. 44

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When Harvey slid into bed again, all he wore was his boxers. The front tented from his arousal, but it was quickly hidden away as Harvey resumed his place atop Zach. Instead, Zach got to feel it, rubbing alongside his own. “I feel a little drunk,” Harvey confessed. “It’s been so long.” “I know exactly what you mean. Last night I thought it was just because of the Scotch.” Zach shifted, just so he could grind his erection against Harvey’s. “But we’ve never done anything quite like this…you know, without the threat of getting caught or getting killed.” Harvey stilled. “Do we need to slow down?” “Depends on what you mean by slow down. Because I intend to take my time with you…time I couldn’t take before.” “Oh.” He breathed the single syllable rather than spoke it, his mouth soft, his eyes wide. Like Zach had taken him by surprise with the announcement. “No, that wasn’t what I meant, but I won’t argue. Taking time is good.” He held the back of Harvey’s head, guiding him forward until their lips met. He would start by taking his time with Harvey’s mouth. He always liked the way Harvey kissed, and assumed his ability was just natural talent. Harvey had been inexperienced to the point of naiveté when they met, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t known what he was doing. He still knew what he was doing. Each time their tongues touched, Zach moaned, his heart beating faster. Though he kept himself propped up on one hand, Harvey let his other drift over the side of Zach’s face, tracing along his 45

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jaw, running over his brows, adding sensation upon sensation as the kisses deepened. He refused to part, even to breathe, and each electrifying glide of his lips along Zach’s erased another memory of another nameless man, until all that was left was Harvey and the time they’d shared together. Time they would share together again. Time Zach would hoard and fight for, now that he had Harvey back where he wanted him. Zach dragged his hand down Harvey’s chest, his fingers brushing through the hair on his chest, winding their way to his stomach. It would be too easy to go directly for his cock, but Zach knew how things would evolve—or devolve—from there. And he was serious about wanting to take his time. The two of them had stolen every free second they could as their company moved through Northern Africa, and then into Italy. But the free seconds were few and far between, and their contact had always been rushed and, in a way, incomplete. Those rushed memories had been all he’d had to sustain himself for the previous decade, and he wanted to know that there could be another way. So he kept his hand on Harvey’s chest, mapping the skin, caressing him until his flesh danced and quivered beneath Zach’s touch. “I don’t remember it being like this,” Harvey whispered. “It wasn’t.” Though it always had the potential to be. Maybe that was what hurt the most about Harvey’s disappearance from his life. He rubbed his cheek against Harvey’s, letting the bristly hair catch against the stubble on his own jaw. Warm lips touched the hot skin of his neck. Harvey slid his 46

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hand through Zach’s hair, cupping the back of his head to keep him still, and focused his attention on the strip of several inches from the bottom of his ear to his shoulder, licking and nibbling with the same deliberation Zach had used in touching Harvey’s chest. Zach moaned. Squeezing his eyes shut, he found the hard tips of Harvey’s nipples and gave them a light pinch. The reaction was electric. Harvey cried out as his hips jerked against Zach’s, his entire body tensing. More than encouraged, Zach ducked his head to replace his fingers with his mouth. He pulled the nub of skin between his teeth, licking and sucking until it hardened and Harvey’s chest vibrated with soft moans. He focused his attention on the other nipple, flicking it with his tongue. Harvey’s hips began to move in time with Zach’s mouth, slight thrusts that pressed against Zach’s aching cock. The muscles in Harvey’s arm visibly quivered. His fingertips dug into Zach’s scalp, holding him firmly in place. All Zach could smell was the musky scent of his skin, the hair tickling at his nose as he circled the nipple over and over. He itched to reach down and take both of their cocks in hand, but the same rationale from earlier held true. He wanted this to last. As soon as their pricks came more into play, it would be over all too soon. “Don’t be stingy,” Harvey panted. “Let me taste you, too.” As soon as Zach lifted his head, Harvey claimed his mouth. His lips and chin would have definite whisker burn by the time this was all over, but that thought wasn’t enough to 47

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make Zach stop. It wasn’t even enough to make him slow down. Their tongues and teeth clashed with hunger, and then Harvey tore his mouth away to move lower. He found Zach’s hammering pulse and sucked on the skin, undoubtedly adding a purple mark to the red burn Zach had already imagined. He buried his hand in Harvey’s hair and held him in place as he dropped his head back. Harvey grabbed Zach’s free wrist and pinned it at his side, refusing him the room to try and guide any longer. The unyielding strength proved beyond a shadow of a doubt Harvey was as healthy as he’d ever been, his leg notwithstanding. They had had more than one wrestling match when they were younger, and it made Zach’s cock jump to think those might not necessarily be off the books yet. Abandoning Zach’s neck, Harvey moved farther down, over his smooth chest to lick around the flat nipples. Where Zach had concentrated his efforts, Harvey teased. He mouthed everywhere but the sensitive skin itself, even dipping farther to tickle over Zach’s belly. “I’m glad we didn’t shower,” Harvey said. “I can still taste you here.” Zach’s cock twitched and warmth began to pool in his lower abdomen. He wanted to push Harvey farther down, guide him until his mouth ghosted over Zach’s thighs, groin, balls, and finally closed around his erection. He didn’t think Harvey would resist him if he tried, but it would be better to let the other man go at his own pace—even a torturous pace wouldn’t be unwelcome. He slid down the bed, making it 48

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easier for Harvey to trace the skin on his stomach, creating random patterns as he sought out more of Zach’s taste. He never stayed in any one place long enough for Zach to get overwhelmed. His mouth and tongue danced along, first over the flat of his abdomen, then up his side, then around a nipple. Everywhere his mouth went, the beard scratched along afterward. It was a dizzying experience of soft and hard, tender and raw. There was even one point where Harvey dragged his chin over Zach’s skin and it tickled. When Harvey’s arm grazed over his covered arousal, Zach groaned and lifted his hips automatically to strengthen the contact. Harvey looked up, his eyes shiny, his lips swollen, and grinned. “Something you want, soldier?” Zach shivered at the epithet, knowing that it had more to do with the tone of Harvey’s voice than the word itself. “These boxers are a little tight, sergeant. Could you help me out with that?” Releasing Zach’s wrist, Harvey rolled to the side, halfsitting up as he grasped the waistband. He gave a quick yank, not bothering to ensure Zach’s cock wasn’t snagged on the elastic first. From the twinkle in his eye, Zach knew it was deliberate. The sound of his shaft slapping against his stomach as Harvey pulled the garment down his legs made both of them sigh. “You know, for as close as we were before, I think I know the way you feel more than the way you look.” Harvey surprised him by resting his cheek on Zach’s hip, his fingertips 49

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skimming up and down the length of his cock. “Getting to look my fill might take some getting used to.” “I know what you mean,” Zach murmured, watching Harvey’s fingers. They were rough from years of working on cars and permanently stained with dirt and oil. The light caresses were just enough to send electric shocks up Zach’s thigh. “You can take as much time as you need to get used to it.” His warm breath floated over Zach’s skin, drifting between his legs. “I dreamed about the War last night. First time in years. Not the bad stuff there at the end, but…” One finger ran around the edge of the crown. “Remember that little village near Avignon? The one with all the churches? We got to sleep in the barn behind the pub. Had the whole loft to ourselves, because Buckles scared the guys so bad about it being so rickety.” “I remember it,” Zach breathed. Like the rest of their nights together, it had been completely dark. There hadn’t even been a moon that night. And they had still been as quiet as possible. But they had been warm and dry. They had been wrapped around each other, their bodies sealed together, moving in a familiar rhythm. “Which part did you dream about?” “Waking up. It wasn’t light yet, and you had your arm around my waist and wouldn’t let me go.” Dragging his finger through the pre-come seeping from the slit, Harvey coated the entire head with it as he spoke. “There was a second there where I wished we could just pack up and leave. You and me. 50

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Forget the guys, forget the War, forget everything, just so we could be together.” His cheek scraped over Zach’s skin as he leaned closer, and his tongue darted out to taste the fluid he’d smeared around. For a moment, Zach couldn’t find the strength to speak. The texture and heat of Harvey’s tongue made his head spin. The weight of Harvey’s words made his chest heavy. Is that what Harvey wanted now? There were so many possibilities ahead of them, it made Zach dizzy to think about it. And when his mind drifted to thoughts of the future, Harvey dragged him back to the present with a simple touch. “I thought about that a few times, myself. I still think about it.” “I’m glad ol’ Ike changed yesterday’s name.” Circling his fingers around the base of Zach’s cock, Harvey tilted it away from his body. “I’ll take whatever dreams wanna come if I get to wake up next to you.” With that, his lips closed around the tip, sucking the head just inside his mouth. “Oh…Harv…” More memories crowded his mind, but he ignored them all in favor of focusing on the real thing. Harvey’s lips were slick and warm. He was careful about his teeth, and Zach didn’t even feel a hint of the sharp edges. There were no edges. Everything was soft and hot, and he ached to feel that heat all the way down to his balls. Harvey was still taking his time, holding his shaft steady as he sucked at the head. His tongue kept darting around, relearning the flare of the crown, dipping into the slit to taste even more pre-come, doing everything possible to make Zach 51

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squirm. He seemed in no hurry to take more into his mouth, and when he shifted his weight to allow his other hand to slip between Zach’s thighs, the texture of his rough fingertips on Zach’s balls made Zach groan. Zach put his hand flat on Harvey’s back, then smoothed his palm down his spine. He massaged Harvey’s ass through his boxers, kneading the flesh until he couldn’t wait any longer to touch flesh to flesh. He pushed his fingers beneath the underwear and sought out Harvey’s balls, rolling them between his fingers, mimicking Harvey’s gestures. Harvey’s groan vibrated through him. He slid farther down the length, the tip of his tongue running along the thick vein, and stopped when it hit the back of his mouth. Zach had to fight the impulse to push for more. In the old days, Harvey had taken it all without struggling, had almost seemed hungry for it, swallowing every drop when Zach climaxed. Zach had to remind himself that it had been a decade since Harvey had done this at all. He couldn’t expect things to automatically go back to where they had been. But then Harvey took a deep breath and the muscles in his throat constricted. Zach slid all the way in with an ease so tight it made his head spin. It had not been ten years since Zach had felt somebody’s mouth around his cock, but nobody else had ever felt like Harvey. He moaned, letting the firm muscles vibrate around Zach’s shaft. The hair on his chin scraped across his stretched skin, and warm breath fanned across his sac. He loved having Harvey this close to him, but it still wasn’t enough. Even when 52

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Harvey began to swallow and made his throat constrict around the crown, it wasn’t enough. He slid lower on the bed, until he was lying flat on his back. Harvey never lifted his head or shifted focus from Zach’s cock. Zach gripped Harvey’s hip and gently pulled him, trying to guide him closer so he could get another turn at tasting him. He expected Harvey to climb on top. What he got was a rough hand sliding beneath his ass and pulling until they were both on their sides. Harvey helped Zach get rid of his boxers by wriggling as Zach pulled them off, but he didn’t stop sucking up and down the throbbing cock in his mouth. Zach paused for a moment, letting Harvey fill his senses. The tip of his cock glistened with pre-come, and Zach’s mouth watered for the salty flavor against his tongue. He took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of Harvey’s skin and arousal and a milder hint of soap. Zach ran his hand down Harvey’s scarred thigh, holding him and pulling him forward when Harvey flinched back. With a hungry whimper, Zach caught the crown with his lips and swallowed the shaft in one, easy motion. Harvey’s smooth tempo faltered. The hand gripping Zach’s ass was now trembling, and Harvey dug his fingers more tightly into the flesh. Zach assumed it was to stop the shaking, but he appreciated the firmer grip all the same. He especially appreciated it when Harvey slid closer to his crack, calluses scraping against hot, sweaty skin in a promise of darker pleasures. He had been ready to explode almost as soon as Harvey 53

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touched him the night before, and now he felt that same sort of urgent pleasure, tightening his muscles and making the base of his spine tingle. He channeled that bliss into pleasing Harvey, swallowing his entire length, wrapping his tongue around Harvey’s shaft, changing the rhythm and the pressure every few moments. Despite his best efforts, he didn’t distract Harvey from his own task, and his blunt fingers caressed Zach’s hole, teasing the tight ring until Zach was almost ready to beg. When Harvey bent his leg, Zach seized the invitation. The only way to keep from exploding himself was to seek out Harvey’s opening as well, a gesture that brought appreciative moans from his lover. It spurred Zach to press inside, and at the same time, he felt Harvey finally do the same. Two fingers burned past his clenching muscles, burying themselves to the knuckles while Harvey swallowed down his cock yet again. One of the best things about Harvey was that he always understood what Zach wanted because, more often than not, they had identical desires. Now Harvey pumped his wrist with just the right speed, curling his fingers to brush against the spot that always made Zach shout. The cock in his throat muffled the sound, but he drew a matching one from Harvey as he curled his own fingers, applying even more pressure. They could have been anywhere, any place but what mattered was they were both there, together. Neither man slowed. Neither stopped. Each pushed the other closer and closer to the brink, pleasuring the other as no one else could. Harvey broke first. 54

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Zach had begun a relentless assault, refusing to ease away from Harvey’s sweet spot as he hummed around his cock. Harvey tried to keep the rhythm, but his teeth scraped once, and another, he pulled completely off and gasped for breath. He dove back in, swallowing Zach down, but it was already too late. His entire body went rigid as he slammed his hips forward, thrusting past Zach’s defenses without apology. The vein pulsed, and thick, warm come coated Zach’s throat. Zach immediately pulled back enough to catch some of the delicious fluid on his tongue. He had gone too long in not tasting Harvey. He wouldn’t be denied it now. Zach chased each drop with his tongue, his hips pumping with a hard rhythm. Every time Harvey touched that spot, it sent a new shockwave up his spine. He stopped trying to hold himself back and abandoned the sense of self-restraint he had been harboring. He looked from beneath his lashes, glancing down his body to see Harvey’s face. His cheeks were hollowed, and his eyes were closed with pleasure. That image was the last thing Zach needed to send him over the edge, and his cock jerked against Harvey’s tongue and the roof of his mouth. Harvey moaned even more at Zach’s release than he had his own. His lips sealed around the shaft, refusing to allow anything to escape, and he swallowed convulsively until Zach whimpered for relief. Curling his tongue around the sensitive skin, he slowly sucked back up the length, stopping at the tip to soothe away the last tremor. “This is much better in a bed than a foxhole,” he said more 55

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than a little breathlessly. “Yes. Much, much better.” Zach wanted to just relax against the mattress, but he sat up. He needed to kiss Harvey again. Fortunately, the other man had the same thought. The kiss was more of a tease, their lips soft, not demanding or searching, just gently caressing. Harvey followed him as Zach tugged him back onto the pillows, stretching half on top as their hands stroked the other’s sweaty skin. When they parted, he rested his head on Zach’s arm. “The bed plan works on many levels,” he said. “I’m not sure I’m going to have the energy to do much outside of it anyway.” “That’s good, because I’m really not going to let you up now.” Zach closed his eyes, feeling sated if not tired. “Then later, when I’ve completely worn you out, I’ll make dinner.” “You mean you’ll reheat Myrtle’s leftovers.” “Yep. But when it comes to reheating, I’m a pro.” “Are we going to eat in bed, too?” “I think so. I don’t plan to let you get away from me until I absolutely have to,” Zach promised, pressing his mouth to Harvey’s temple. And when the time was right, he’d prove to Harvey he didn’t just mean for the weekend.

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CHAPTER 5 As much as he liked Zach’s plan to spend the entire weekend in bed, glorious sunshine beckoned to Harvey when the sun rose on Saturday, pulling him out into the back yard to simply watch some of the colors dance over the horizon. His breath still plumed in front of him with every exhalation, but the vista made it more than worth it. A slight morning breeze had the trees rustling, and a flock of geese late for flying south for the winter were chattering where they attacked the grass bordering the fields. The last time he had felt this content was right before they’d invaded Italy. Somewhere in France with Zach when the action was at a lull, and they could actually take a moment 57

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to look around them. He had no doubt he felt like this again because of Zach’s presence. The past twenty-four hours had been filled with everything that had always been good between them, and the next twenty-four promised more of the same. When he heard the back door creak as it was opened, he glanced back to see Zach step out into the morning light. There was a slight crease on the side of his face from his pillow, and his eyes were still heavy from sleep. Harvey smiled. This was one thing that had changed. Zach loved to sleep. It was like he was making up for everything he had missed when they were younger. “You’re up earlier than I thought you’d be,” he said as Zach stepped onto the frosty grass. He laughed when Zach pulled his coat even tighter against the cold. “Go put some coffee on or something. You don’t want to be out here.” “You can keep me warm,” Zach said, wrapping his arms around Harvey to pull him close. “What are you doing out here?” “Just appreciating the view.” He swept his arm out, gesturing toward the thick trees that rested on the horizon. “Mornings like this are better outside than in. You don’t get the same effect with a screen or a window in the way.” Zach’s brow furrowed and he followed the line of Harvey’s arm, like he was really looking for something. “What’s the effect you want?” Harvey shrugged. “It’s hard to describe. Just if I’m not out in it, it feels a little unreal still. Like I’m watching it at the 58

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pictures instead.” “It must be quite the sight during the summer…” Zach skimmed his mouth over Harvey’s brow. His lips and the tip of his nose were already cold. “It’s quiet. I don’t know if I could stand living in a place that’s so quiet.” “When I first got back, I thought that way, too. I couldn’t sleep unless there was some kind of noise. But I got used to it.” “Like you got used to the brace and living alone?” Zach asked gently. “They’re facts of life,” he replied. “All I can do is make the best of it.” “Yeah. I guess so. Look…I’ve been thinking about something since I’ve got here. Something I want to talk to you about.” Zach’s somber tone reminded him of those times when news they got wasn’t always good. He tried not to stiffen, but it was easier to break away and nod toward the house. “Let’s do it over coffee then.” He grinned. “You make more sense when you’re caffeinated.” “Good idea.” Zach followed him into the house and sat at the table, his attention on the marred tabletop instead of Harvey. Even when he set a fresh mug of coffee down in front of Zach, he barely looked up to acknowledge it. “I don’t really know how to say this, so I guess I’ll just spit it out.” Zach took a deep breath and briefly met Harvey’s eyes before blurting, “Move to California with me.” 59

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His hand knocked his cup, sloshing the coffee over the rim. Harvey stared at Zach, waiting for the punch line, but it never came. “What? Are you serious?” “I am. I’m dead serious. I wanted to wait to ask but it’s been killing me.” “But…how?” It wasn’t the question he wanted to ask. The questions he wanted to ask refused to take form. “I mean, that’s a big move. That’s not…you’ve been thinking about this ever since you got here?” “Since before. I won’t deny that maybe I was too optimistic…but the absolute best case scenario had me coming here, finding you, and everything falling back into place.” Harvey shook his head. “We’re not over there anymore. We’re here. Back into place doesn’t even exist.” “I think we’re mostly there. It doesn’t even feel like we’re missing a decade, does it? We fit together, Harvey. We always have.” “I’m not disputing that. But…” He wiped at the coffee on the table with his thumb, sucking it clean as he pondered his words. “It’s not just us here. We can’t hide in a hole and pretend the rest of the world doesn’t think of us as wrong. How would it look, two men living together like that? You’ve got a great job. You don’t want to ruin that.” “It would look like we’re roommates. A lot of men live together in Los Angeles. As long as we don’t attract undue attention to ourselves, nobody’s going to say anything.” His stomach jumped at the image Zach presented. California was more progressive than Ohio, that was certain. 60

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And the notion that he could roll over in the middle of the night and put his arm around Zach was more inviting than anything else Harvey had ever imagined. He knew Zach wouldn’t make such a request lightly. He would have thought over the consequences, thought through every angle. He was thorough to a fault. Always had been. If he made such an offer now, it was because he thought it could work. There was only one problem. “California’s a lot different from Ohio,” Harvey said. “I’ve never lived anywhere but here and wherever the Army moved us.” “It’s a hell of a lot better than anywhere the Army sent you.” Zach leaned forward and reached for Harvey’s hand. “I know it’s not Ohio. But it’s not nearly as scary as, say, North Africa.” “That’s because you grew up there. I won’t know anyone.” “You’ll meet people. Hell, you’re a great mechanic. You’ll get a good job and you’ll meet all kinds of people. Besides, you’ll know somebody. You know me.” “Nobody’s going to want to hire a gimp,” Harvey argued. “Ted gave me the job because he knew what I could do. Because he knew my family, and probably because he felt more than a little sorry for me. Out there, I’m just going to be another vet who came back wrong.” “No. Los Angeles isn’t some backward little town where who you know matters more than what… Well, it’s not some backward little town. They’re not going to look at you and see a gimp. They’re going to see a man who served his country 61

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and is damned good with his hands. Besides…I have connections.” As soon as Zach made the implicit offer, Harvey stiffened and pulled his hand away. “Oh, no. I am not having you pull some strings to get me a job. I’ve been doing just fine taking care of myself the past few years.” Zach shook his head. “I didn’t mean that. I just meant that…I’ll do anything I can, or anything you need me to, to make the move easy on you.” “You want me to uproot everything I know. That’s not easy, no matter how much you want it to be.” “But it’s really easy to hide out here, miles from town and anybody who could care about you, given the chance. Right?” His teeth clicked from how tightly he ground them together. “This is my home. I’m sorry it’s not good enough for you.” “I never said it wasn’t good enough for me. But I can’t stay here with you, as much as I might want to. I can’t even bring it up as an option because I can’t leave the freeway project now.” “But you could move out here when it’s over, couldn’t you?” “Yeah. I could do that.” Zach sighed. “But it’s not going to be done for a long time.” At least he knew why Zach had asked that first night if he’d ever contemplate leaving. Harvey had told him he didn’t have roots here, but now that he had an option presented to him, he realized that just maybe he did. He should want to live 62

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a life with Zach, yet all he could think about was how terrifying the prospect of leaving was. “You don’t really think I’m hiding out here, do you?” “I don’t know.” The frustration in his voice was obvious, but Harvey didn’t know who, exactly, it was directed toward. “I know that I can’t really imagine what your life is like out here. But I know this is your home…so…I just don’t know.” Neither did Harvey. He didn’t know anything right now. There was a pain developing behind his left eye, and his leg was starting to ache. He knew it was just his body trying to throw him off the scent of the more serious topic Zach had raised, but it still managed to get in the way of clear thinking. “I didn’t see this coming,” he said helplessly. “I don’t know what to tell you.” “No, I think you already told me what you needed to say.” “Don’t say it like that.” “Like what?” “Like I’m doing this to hurt you. I’m not. I just…you’ve only been here two days. You’ve had more time to think about it than I have.” “I know. I’ve been thinking about it for the past nine years. Ever since I came home. I guess I just got…a little ahead of myself. Though…honestly…I’m not convinced this would have gone any differently if I waited until the end of the week.” “It might’ve.” Though Harvey had the same doubts. “Nine years? Really?” “Well…yeah. That makes sense, doesn’t it?” The corner of 63

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his mouth lifted. “I’ve loved you for the last eleven.” In spite of his sober mood, Harvey flushed at the declaration. Zach said it so easily now. They had rarely uttered the words before, for fear of being overheard, but the intent had always been there. Harvey had felt it again for the past twenty-four hours, the reminder of what it was like to have the one person present who understood everything. “Can we leave it at ‘I need to think about it’ for now?” he asked. “I don’t want it to be a no. I love you too much to have you think I don’t love you enough to consider it.” Zach studied him for a moment before nodding, his face softening. “We can leave it at that. I only hoped I would have the chance to ask you. I can wait a little longer to get the answer.” Impulsively, Harvey leaned across the table. Gripping the back of Zach’s neck, he pulled him in for a firm, lingering kiss. It wasn’t about passion. It was about need. The need he’d always had for his best friend, the need to show him the feelings were real, even if he was afraid. “I know we planned on staying in this weekend,” he said when they parted. “But how about we drive up to Athens and spend the day there? We could go to the pictures. Or just, you know…be together. Give me a feel of what it might be like in California.” Zach smiled. “Broken Lance might be playing. I’ve been meaning to see that since it came out in September.” “And if that’s gone, Myrtle was saying there’s a new Judy Holliday movie coming out.” His wide grin matched Zach’s, 64

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proof of the relief flooding through him. “Or we could be really sentimental and go see White Christmas. Danny Kaye is never a bad choice.” Zach winked. “Maybe I could tell you some of the rumors I’ve heard around town about Danny Kaye.” In spite of his earlier shock, Harvey laughed, back to the comfort zone he and Zach had always resided in. Zach’s offer was big, bigger than anything he’d dared to let himself dream. Harvey’s fears were real, but maybe less real in the face of what he stood to gain if he accepted. Zach loved him. The question was, were Harvey’s feelings strong enough to overcome the obstacles standing between them? *

*

*

White Christmas won, and Harvey spent the bulk of the movie watching Danny Kaye far too closely. When Zach’s hand crept over to tangle their fingers together in the dark, it almost jolted Harvey from the film, but the quiet caress of Zach’s thumb along his soothed him soon enough. It wasn’t unlike the many times they’d had to seek out surreptitious contact while they were enlisted. It felt so natural, Harvey easily slipped back into the big screen antics, absorbed yet again in trying to discern Kaye’s preferences. After the matinee came a late lunch, though Harvey didn’t remember half an hour later what he had eaten. He was too lost in conversation to think about something as trivial as food. He and Zach talked about everything from what the other guys 65

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in their unit were doing, to how they had spent the past ten years, to what movies and radio programs they loved. There were stories about Harvey’s parents, and Zach’s sister and her family. Harvey especially loved hearing about his work and all the changes that were happening out in California. It all sounded so foreign, so different to how things were in quiet Pomeroy. And yet, Zach treated it as if it was nothing special. They decided to have dinner back at the house, but there was one stop they had to make before going home. Harvey pulled into the Garst driveway just before suppertime, more than a little surprised when Ted pulled in behind him. “What’re you doing home so early?” Harvey said as they both got out of their cars. “Saturday night’s Myrtle’s beef stroganoff,” Ted replied. “You just never work on Saturdays to know I always close up at four so I don’t miss it.” He nodded at Zach, who had come to stand beside Harvey. “Evenin’.” Harvey jerked his thumb toward the house. “We were just going to drop off the dishes from the other night.” “You should stay. Myrtle always makes plenty for more than just the two of us.” “Oh, we couldn’t—” “Actually,” Zach interrupted. “We had a late lunch in Athens, but thank you for the offer. I’ll just run these in to Mrs. Garst.” Ted waved him off. “I can do that. Myrtle sees you, and she won’t let you go.” “I’ve known too many Myrtles. She finds out we were here 66

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and didn’t say hello, she’ll never let any of us forget it.” With a smile, Zach left them alone, going up to the front door to ring the bell. Harvey watched him, waving when Myrtle answered and promptly made a fuss. When she dragged Zach inside, Ted laughed behind him. “Good luck getting him out of there now. Myrtle does love her servicemen.” “Well, if we end up having to stick around, it’s hardly a hardship. All he’s been talking about is how good a cook she is.” “Oh, I doubt that’s all he’s been talking about.” Ted’s gaze was contemplative. “You two been doin’ some catching up on old times?” For a moment, Harvey wondered just what Ted saw when he and Zach were together. Were their feelings that apparent? Had the time apart taken away their ability to be just friends in public? “Some,” he said. “We’ve talked more about everything that’s happened since we came back home. Why?” Ted shrugged. “Just haven’t seen you this relaxed in a long time. And you’re smiling more. Myrtle was saying so the other night after you left.” “Well, we’re old friends.” “You had friends here before you shipped out. I can’t say I’ve seen you like this around any of them.” Frowning, he cocked his head. “I can’t say I’ve seen you even hanging around any of them like you used to. You’ve been more social 67

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since your friend came to visit than you have in years.” He knew what Ted really meant to say was since he’d come home. And it was true. He’d focused on his therapy first, and then his parents had died, and then it just felt like it took all his energy to get through each day. Zach hadn’t been far off the mark when he’d commented on how quiet Harvey’s life was, and until now, he’d liked it that way. What he wasn’t sure he liked was thinking of how quiet it was going to be again when Zach left. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” Ted was saying. “If a man wants to keep his own company, then who am I to say he can’t? Especially when he’s seen what you must’ve. But I know your parents would be glad to see you smiling again. They only wanted the best for you.” “I know.” The front door opened again, this time without Zach. Myrtle waved them in, a broad smile on her face. “You two get in here. Everyone’s staying for supper. And shame on you, Harvey Kramer. You didn’t tell me Mr. Jones knew all those actors out in Hollywood.” With his own grin firmly in place, Harvey shook his head as he followed Ted to the house. “Just remember he’s a California man, Myrtle. Actors aren’t the only ones good at storytelling.” Both Garsts laughed as he stepped inside the house, but it wasn’t until he met Zach’s eyes, where Zach sat comfortably on the end of the couch like he’d been sitting there his whole life, that Harvey’s smile warmed. 68

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He really had been happier ever since Zach had arrived. Maybe that was all that mattered.

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CHAPTER 6 For Zach, being sequestered in Harvey’s house was great, as long as Harvey was with him. But when Monday morning dawned, and Harvey got out of bed to dress for work, Zach knew he couldn’t just hang out in the quiet, old farmhouse all day. He broached the possibility of Harvey taking more time off work, but only slightly, and he backed off when Harvey shook his head and said he couldn’t do that to Ted. Zach knew he could have tried harder, could have constructed his argument successfully, but he felt like he was navigating a minefield with Harvey, and he couldn’t afford a single wrong step. He drove into town about an hour after Harvey bounced 70

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down the dirt road in his truck. Not that there was much more to do in town than at Harvey’s house. It was bitterly cold. Colder than anything Zach could tolerate or wanted to tolerate. The wind stung his ears and mouth and cheeks every time he stepped out of the car, and the coat he brought with him from Los Angeles just could not handle the frigid temperatures. After only an hour of trying to entertain himself in Pomeroy, Zach gave up and turned back to the house, where at least the kitchen stayed warm. Harvey’s question about Zach moving to Ohio once the freeway system was completed haunted him. The fact was, he didn’t want to live in Ohio. What on earth would he do in Pomeroy? There didn’t seem to be a huge need for civil engineers in what looked to him to be a one-horse town, and he couldn’t imagine skyscrapers and freeway systems popping up in the area any time soon. He wanted to be close to Harvey, there was no question about that. There was never a question about that. But the cost was too great. Once he reached the farmhouse, he bypassed the kitchen for the living room. He found a shelf of books—not the most impressive library in the world, but it would get him through the day and probably the week while Harvey worked. He settled down with a collection of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s short stories, but his mind was not focused on the writing. How could it be? He could think only about Harvey, about how this would be their final week together. It was more than he had ever hoped for, more than he could have even dreamed 71

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about, but not enough. Far, far from enough. The memories would have to keep him warm for a long time. He didn’t see himself finding another person like Harvey. He could imagine remarrying, if only because he liked the company. Maybe it was time to throw in the towel and lead the appropriate, normal life. He’d get a house in Pasadena, and he’d get a dog, and have a few kids, and it would be nice, if not the life he actually wanted. Harvey was the life he wanted, but if Harvey didn’t return the sentiment, what could Zach do? Nothing. Except enjoy the few hours they had together and make sure Harvey understood that no matter what, no matter how many years passed, Zach would always be there for him. The day crawled by. By the time the truck rumbled into the drive outside, Zach was ready to claw through the walls in boredom. He had no idea how he was going to spend the rest of the week alone in the house with only his thoughts for company. He might have to settle for driving up to Athens. At least there was a movie theater there. A blast of cold air followed Harvey inside the front door. His nose was bright red, as were the tips of his ears, but his smile was broad and welcoming, and his arms were laden with grocery bags. “Can you help me with this?” he asked, nudging the door shut with his hip. Zach was already on his feet, and he took two of the heavy bags out of Harvey’s arms. He didn’t inspect the contents, but his stomach growled, reminding him that he had moped right 72

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through the lunch hour without taking time to eat. “What is all this?” “Dinner.” Harvey led the way to the kitchen. “I stopped and picked up some steaks, and Myrtle sent along half a chocolate cake. I figured we can fry up some potatoes, toss some peas and carrots onto the side, and have ourselves a decent meal, just the two of us.” “Most of the meals we’ve had have been just the two of us,” Zach said lightly. “Any special reason for the steak?” Harvey grinned. “Yeah. I wanted something nice that I couldn’t mess up cooking.” Setting the bags down, he began pulling things out, lining them up on the counter. “And if you think about it, yesterday we were on our own, but Saturday, we had Myrtle and Ted at dinner, and half of Athens at lunch. And don’t forget your first night here.” “I suppose that’s true.” Zach bent to help empty the bags, then eyed the assortment of food on the counter. “So, what can I do to help? I’m pretty good at peeling potatoes.” “You do those. I’ll start seasoning the steaks.” They settled in to work, Harvey directing him to the drawer with all the utensils in it. Zach sat in the chair at the end of the table, the garbage bin between his knees as he peeled the potatoes. He couldn’t stop watching Harvey. There was something different about him this evening, something lighter than he’d seen since arriving. He just couldn’t put his finger on it. “So, do you do all your own cooking out in LA?” Harvey asked. “Or do big fancy engineers have staff that does that for 73

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them?” “No, no staff. There are a lot of business dinners and I always pack a lunch to eat on site. Anne actually taught me how to make a few things while we were still in college, so I don’t have to eat out every night.” “You know what I was wondering about? Anne’s family.” The statement surprised him; they’d not really discussed the issue of Anne very much in all their conversations so far. They had talked around it, and Zach had told a couple of stories, but other than the questions Harvey had posed in the truck that first night he was in town, nothing more had been said. “Do they still think of you as part of the family, now that she’s gone? Or don’t you see them anymore?” “I never saw too much of Anne’s family, actually. She was originally from Oregon, but she went to UCLA to play tennis. She never wanted to go back to Oregon, and except for the ceremony itself, her parents didn’t have much interest in traveling to LA. I think all of that might have been different if we’d had kids, but Anne wasn’t ready to give up her tennis career.” Harvey’s simple nod confused him. Why was he asking about Anne now? “Did you ever tell her about me?” Zach looked down, focusing on the long ribbon he was peeling from the potato. “The nice thing about Anne was that she never asked about the War. Most people I met wanted to hear stories about how we destroyed the Krauts, and especially with the younger guys, I get the sense they thought it was just 74

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like the movies. All in black and white with hardly any blood or real horror. But Anne…she never asked questions. She never wanted details if nightmares would wake me up.” He took a deep breath. “But I did tell her about some of the good things. I told her about how I met you, and that you went home alive.” “I don’t mean to dredge up bad memories for you. I’m sorry if I did.” “No, don’t apologize. It still stings…I still miss her sometimes…but she’s not a bad memory. You can ask me whatever you want.” “I just…” Setting aside the steaks, Harvey grabbed the carrots he’d bought and brought them over to the table to sit opposite Zach. “I guess I wonder what she’d think of me. Of us.” “I think she’d understand. We didn’t…we never shared a bed. And she never talked about it, but I suspect I fulfilled the same role for her that she filled for me. Somebody to come home to at the end of the day. Somebody who wouldn’t…get in the way of other things.” Harvey’s crooked smile came out to play as he bent his head and started paring the carrots. “You were never really good at being the lone soldier. Remember how you requested Thompson go with you on that recon for the colonel when I got sent on another mission? I can’t say I’m surprised after all that you married, though I’m glad you found somebody who understood.” “I’m glad I found her, too. And I think you would have 75

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liked her a lot. She had a killer sense of humor and the worst mouth I ever heard. Worse than Captain Spears. She could make a guy blush.” “If she hadn’t died…do you think you would’ve come looking for me?” The answer was easy. It came to his lips immediately. “Yes. It was inevitable. I thought about you every single day. I wondered how you were. I wondered if you ever thought about me. A part of me can’t believe I let ten years slip away, but then I remember that I thought…well, it was easy to have a thousand reasons to never do anything about it when I really only had one reason.” “What was that?” “I thought you didn’t want to see me.” Harvey didn’t say anything to that, though his smile remained. The pair peeled the vegetables in a comfortable silence for several minutes, working in tandem as effectively as they always had. Zach still had two potatoes left to do when Harvey finished the carrots. He watched the other man rise from his seat and return to the counter, setting the carrots aside as he rummaged around in another bag. “How good are you with money stuff?” Harvey asked. “I have some. I invest most of it in real estate so I have something to retire on.” “Good. Maybe you can help me with this then.” Pulling out an envelope, he tossed it onto the table beside Zach before returning to his work on the vegetables. “You were always the 76

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brains of the operation.” Zach fingered the edge of the envelope, but he didn’t open it. “Help you with what? What is it?” “I went out on my lunch break today and talked to Elmer Glass down at the bank. I asked him about what it would take to sell the house and the property, and he about chewed my ear off talking about interest rates and fees and all that crap.” Though his back was to Zach, Harvey shook his head. “I am not going back there to talk to him about the savings without you coming with me. I had a headache for most of the afternoon because of him.” “Selling?” His heart felt so large in his chest that Zach thought it would choke him. “You’re selling your house?” This time, Harvey glanced back. “Unless you’ve changed your mind about moving out here instead.” “No…no, I haven’t changed my mind. I haven’t…but I didn’t…you’ve changed your mind?” The corner of his mouth lifted. “I thought we agreed I hadn’t made my mind up yet. Well…now I have. If you still want a roommate, I’m all yours.” Zach knew he should say something intelligent or make some sort of declaration, but he could only stare at the man who had been just outside of his grasp for so long. “What made you make up your mind?” “Just thinking about it all. About us. About how happy I’ve been since you came here. Happier than I’ve been in years. And I figured…well, we survived a war. A pretty big one at that. So if I could do that, if I could go through 77

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everything with my leg, what’s a move to California?” Grabbing a towel, he wiped off his hands. “Besides, I’ll have you to help me figure it all out, and let’s face it. We were always better when we were together.” Zach lost what little interest he had in the potatoes and abandoned them on the table. He only had one thought in mind—touching Harvey. Making sure this wasn’t a dream, that he hadn’t drifted away from the living room and into a fantasy where everything finally went his way. “We always were,” Zach agreed, clasping Harvey’s elbow. His skin was warm—almost feverish—to the touch, and his flesh was solid. He wasn’t a dream. Harvey leaned back against the counter, prompting Zach to press closer to his front. “I’m probably not going to be able to come out right away. I have to give Ted some kind of notice, and there’s some work that has to be done around the house before it can go on the market.” “That’s fine. You can come out for the New Year. And if that’s not enough time to get everything settled, then you can come out in time for spring. I’ll even find a new house that’s good for the two of us, if you want.” A hand settled on Zach’s waist, fingers light as they caressed him. “I can have everything done for the New Year, if you promise to come out here for Christmas. Have a real white Christmas.” His arm slipped around Zach’s back. “Then we can go home together.” Zach grinned. “You want this born and bred California boy to come out and play in the snow?” 78

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“Hell yeah. You think it’s cold now? Wait until I’ve shoved snow down your pants.” Zach shivered at the thought. “You know what’s nicer than a white Christmas? A green one. It’s true.” He bent his head to kiss the corner of Harvey’s smile. “If you shove snow down my pants, don’t think I’m going to go easy on you just because you have a brace on your leg.” “That’s exactly the attitude I’m counting on.” Harvey turned his head at the same time he reached up and caught the back of Zach’s, holding him still to crush their mouths together. The kiss was fierce with longing, his tongue hot and demanding, and Zach groaned as he clutched Harvey even closer. He wanted it to last forever, but Harvey broke the caress, resting his free hand against Zach’s chest to keep them apart. “After dinner,” he promised, his voice slightly breathless. “We won’t get interrupted by getting hungry then.” “Damn your logic.” Sighing, he stepped back, relying on extra space between them to help him keep his hands to himself. “I guess I better get slicing now that the peeling is done.” “You’ll like Christmas here,” Harvey said, continuing their earlier conversation as if they hadn’t been interrupted. “Myrtle does the best sausage stuffing you’ll ever taste.” Myrtle’s stuffing wouldn’t be enough to lure Zach away from the warmth and comfort of his home, but he knew he’d follow Harvey to another war if he had to. One final Christmas in his childhood home wasn’t an unreasonable request. And at that moment, Zach didn’t know of anything he wanted more. 79

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CHAPTER 7 Harvey stood on the small winding path leading to the front door and stared. His blood pounded in his ears, and his palms were sweaty. That wasn’t the California heat, either. It was a balmy seventy-three, which just felt wrong for the end of December, but he’d been in hotter during the North Africa campaign. This was all about the bungalow nestled amidst the bushes, with its Colonial front porch and pale yellow paint. He’d seen the pictures Zach had brought to Ohio for the holidays, but they didn’t show how bright the flowers were next to the walk, or reveal the crystalline sky hanging behind the roof. “I know it’s smaller than what you’re used to here,” Zach 80

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had said. “But it’s got three bedrooms, almost two thousand square feet, and a great little pool in the back. There’s plenty of room for the stuff you want shipped out.” But the size hadn’t been what stunned him then, and it certainly wasn’t what stunned him now. “I can’t believe this is ours,” he murmured. “I can assure you, it is.” Zach held up something metallic, and it caught the sun. “And I have the key to prove it. Would you like to do the honors?” Harvey shifted the heavy duffel that hung from his shoulder and took the offer. The key was warm from Zach’s skin, small and innocuous all on its own. What it implied, however, was far greater. Half this house was his. Half was Zach’s. This was their future. The years they would spend in it together. They might have to wear one face for strangers, for people who wouldn’t understand, but it didn’t matter because they would know the truth. They would be able to share everything they had always wanted. All it took was opening the door. Zach followed him up the walk, and stood there, in the corner of his eye, as Harvey slid the key into the lock. It turned smoothly and swung open with only a whisper of air. Harvey hesitated, then laughed at himself. “You must think I’m being silly.” “No. But I’m a little anxious about what you think of the place.” Zach put his hand between Harvey’s shoulder blade and gently pushed him forward, over the threshold. “Remember, we can change anything you don’t like.” 81

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Their footsteps were muffled by the dark blue runner stretching in front of them, but that changed as soon as Harvey stepped onto the polished hardwood and looked over the cozy living room. He didn’t recognize the furniture, but its simple functionality was exactly what he would have picked out. Zach had even left space in the corner for Harvey’s rolltop desk that was being shipped across the country, along with the other belongings Harvey couldn’t part with. The large windows let sunlight stream inside, and though he had the urge to sit and bask in the room’s comfort, the rest of the house beckoned. Leaving his bags by the door, Harvey ventured down the hall, peeking into the dining room along the way. They ended in the spacious kitchen, but rather than poke his head through the cupboards, he went straight to the back door, looking out over the yard. “This is amazing.” And it was, more so than he’d ever imagined. “You’re sure you’re not going to tell me it’s all a big joke and send me back home?” “No, no joke. But if you’re going to change your mind, this is your last chance.” Zach smiled. “I’m not going to let you go after today.” Harvey shot a smile over his shoulder. “You know I’m going to hold you to that, right?” “I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.” Zach leaned against his back, reaching for the doorknob. He nudged it open and gestured at the pool sparkling in the sun. “You want to check it out?” 82

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The water looked wonderful, but Harvey’s gaze slid to the fence surrounding the yard. It was easily six feet high, with more than one tree offering shade. But something else was more important to him right then. “How private do you think it is back here?” He caught Zach’s wrist and pulled his arm closer against Harvey’s body, so he was wrapped in the other man’s embrace. “Because I’m thinking, you in swim shorts, dripping in water, might be irresistible.” Zach looked up, surveying the perimeter of their yard. “Oh, I think it’s private enough back here. I think somebody would have to climb that tree to get a view of us. But why bother with the swim shorts?” “As long as you’re not worried about burning your butt, I’m all for it.” Zach drew him out of the house, pulling him closer to the pool. “I’ll just make sure we make it back and inside to the bed before anything gets burned.” He fumbled with the buttons on his shirt, sighing in relief when the damp fabric peeled away from his skin. His haste was made even clumsier by the sight of Zach stripping down, revealing inch after inch of his delicious hard body. Harvey was fully erect when he dropped his last garment, but he avoided touching his cock in favor of jumping into the pool. The water was colder than he’d thought it would be, though still more than warm enough. Harvey burst through the surface with a huge grin, rubbing the water out of his eyes. “All right, you win. California is wonderful.” 83

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Zach dove in after him, plunging head first into the pool without concern for how cool the water might be. The lines of his body were perfect right before he sliced through the water. Harvey expected Zach to jump up, and watched the point in the pool where he thought Zach would surface. Except, he didn’t. Instead, arms wrapped around his legs and pulled him back into the depths. The water offered support for his weaker leg, but that didn’t stop Harvey from lashing out with the other, knocking at Zach’s hip as he twisted to get free. Zach wasn’t so easily dissuaded, though. He caught Harvey around the waist as they both kicked upward, and they were both laughing when they finally sucked in fresh air. “You know what else this is going to be good for?” Harvey didn’t fight the circle of Zach’s arms, grinding slightly against the arousal pressing against his ass. “I can do my strengthening exercises in here.” “Yes, you can. And in the summer, when the temperature gets into the triple digits, this is going to feel like a little piece of heaven.” He kept his arm tight around Harvey’s body, his other hand sliding down Harvey’s flat stomach. “Speaking of…” Letting his head fall back, Harvey closed his eyes against the sudden pleasure suffusing his flesh. “It does feel perfect, doesn’t it?” he said softly. “Like everything that happened is suddenly worth it, just to be here right now.” Zach’s fingers explored Harvey’s flesh beneath the water, warm and sure, not hesitating at all to caress his thighs, to 84

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brush over his balls, or slide up and down the length of his erection. “I keep expecting to wake up, honestly.” “Don’t. Then I’ll have to stop the dream, too.” Harvey reached behind him to caress Zach’s hip, still disbelieving he could do so freely. He traced the line of his pelvis, feeling the muscles twitch beneath his fingertips, and turned his head to kiss the underside of Zach’s jaw. “I love you.” He murmured the words into Zach’s skin, etching them there in an invisible brand. “I plan on telling you that every day for the rest of our lives.” “Good, because I love hearing it.” He tilted his head and caught Harvey’s lips. The kiss was so slow and light, Zach not deepening the caress even though Harvey opened his mouth in invitation, waiting for the pressure of Zach’s tongue against his. “I plan on showing you every day. And right now, if you don’t mind.” “I’ll never mind.” They floated closer to the edge of the pool. When Zach grasped its edge, Harvey used the momentary freedom to turn around, their cocks nudging against each other as he lifted his legs and coiled them around Zach’s hips. “Know what else I see in our future? Lots of midnight swims. You won’t have to worry about sunburn on your balls when I suck you off then.” “No, but I will have to worry about keeping my mouth shut so we don’t wake the neighbors. And that’s always hard to do when you suck me off.” Zach reached between their bodies and gripped both of their cocks, holding them together with long fingers. “Not that it won’t be worth it.” He dipped 85

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his head, his tongue darting out to lick a drop of water rolling down Harvey’s jaw. “And not like we aren’t old pros at keeping quiet.” To prove his point, he busied his mouth by nibbling at Zach’s neck. The hand on his cock tightened at the first bite, drawing a groan from the back of his throat. “Except when you do that. Dirty pool, soldier.” “Who bit who first, sergeant?” In response, Harvey bit him again, which made Zach’s fingers flex even tighter. Both of their shafts were throbbing, and he could feel Zach’s pulse echo through his flesh. “I think you’re the one playing dirty.” “I could take it easier.” He dragged his tongue over the shallow marks he’d left on Zach’s perfect skin, drifting upward to tickle the hollow beneath his ear. His breath warmed Zach even more than the sun did, and he caught the shudder wracking through the other man’s body as soon as it occurred. “Seems to me, it doesn’t matter how I touch you.” Zach sighed. “No, I don’t think how you touch me makes a difference. No matter what you do, it’s going to drive me crazy.” The vise around his shaft disappeared, but that was only because Zach was seeking out other ways to make him moan. His fingertips cut through the water, pushing past his balls to caress the tender skin behind his sac. Using the buoyancy of the water, Harvey slid his legs higher up around Zach’s trim waist, making it easier for Zach to find the spots he knew would drive Harvey craziest. It was Harvey’s turn to shiver at the almost delicate strokes, and his ass clenched over and over again at the thought of how close 86

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Zach’s fingers were to his opening. “You have me here.” Harvey took over the task Zach had abandoned, wrapping his hand around both their lengths. “Then I get you in our bed.” “That’s fair.” Zach reached Harvey’s clenched hole, his blunt nails pushing against it. Harvey tried to brace himself for the penetration, but despite his obvious expectation, Zach didn’t push past the tight ring of muscle. “You feel really tense. Relax a bit.” “I think I’m just excited about being here,” Harvey confessed. “It’s not what I expected.” Zach flashed a quick smile before claiming Harvey’s lips with a hard kiss. Zach’s mouth had been tender before, but now he savaged Harvey’s mouth with his tongue and lips. The message wasn’t a hard one to understand—Zach was every bit as excited and pleased as Harvey, and he wanted Harvey to know it. He was so distracted by the demands of Zach’s mouth that he barely realized what Zach was doing until his finger pushed into Harvey’s body. Harvey gasped into the kiss, pulling hard at Zach’s erection. Abandoning the hold he had on the other man’s shoulders, he stroked down Zach’s chest, finding the hard tips of his nipples. He pinched, and Zach was the one gasping this time, biting at Harvey’s lower lip as he twisted his finger inside Harvey’s ass. He squirmed and pushed against Zach’s hand, almost ready to beg for more. But judging by the way Zach moaned into his mouth, he wouldn’t have to wait long for the friction 87

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and pressure of his second finger, then a third, and then more. With a sharp hiss, Zach’s middle finger joined his index in Harvey’s clenching channel. His head swam from how good it felt. Had anything ever felt this good? Harvey doubted it. Not even their first time together, when he had first discovered what Zach’s touch was like, compared to this freedom. All his fears back in Ohio seemed insignificant compared to this. Nothing was more important than the single fact they were together. He could have this every day for the rest of his life, and finally release all those regrets he’d hidden inside. Harvey stroked up Zach’s cock, squeezing around the crown when he reached it. His thumb grazed over the slit, sliding in the pre-come the pool didn’t wash away, and his mouth watered. “You’re going to have to put up with me eating you for hours when I finally get you in bed,” he said. “Gotta make sure you’re nice and ready for me when I’m ready to finally fuck you.” “You deserve the same consideration,” Zach murmured, his wrist still pumping into Harvey’s passage. “But I’m an impatient guy. That’s not going to be a problem, is it?” “No. I know you’ll make it up to me.” “I will.” Zach’s fingers disappeared, and a shiver of anticipation raced down Harvey’s back. Harvey lifted himself enough to guide the head of Zach’s cock to his stretched hole. Zach moaned at the first contact of flesh to flesh, but Harvey didn’t 88

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echo the sound. Not until the thick head pushed past his pucker, offering a hint of how it would feel when Zack took him completely. The water lapped against his legs and the winter sun warmed his shoulder and back, but Zach was all he cared about. Slowly, evenly, Harvey tightened his calves, using the power in his thighs to pull Zach in. His weaker leg ached from the exertion, but the delicious burn radiating through his hips, up his spine to settle in a rolling fire at the base of his neck more than made up for it. He sought out Zach’s mouth, hungry for the taste of him, and at the tangle of their tongues, coiled his arms around Zach’s shoulders to draw him as close as he could. Endearments slipped past his lips between each kiss. For all his talk about staying quiet, Harvey found it impossible to hold it back now. The words needed to be spoken. Zach needed to know. He needed to believe with every fiber of his being that Harvey would move heaven and earth for him, would have died if it had meant Zach lived. Despite the deep need for more friction, Zach barely moved. He let the water buffer them, pushing deeper into Harvey’s body before letting himself slide out an inch or two and starting the process over again. The resulting pressure was almost enough to steal his voice, if not his breath, altogether. They couldn’t have been closer together, and Zach couldn’t have felt more alive against Harvey’s body. His skin was hot, his breath warm, his entire body pulsing and responding to everything Harvey did. 89

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Harvey flattened his hands down Zach’s back, mapping out every muscle, every sinew, every plane and curve until their shapes were emblazoned upon his brain. Occasionally, he let his nails catch on skin, eliciting a gasp here, a tremor there. Nothing proved incentive to spur Zach on, and Harvey contented himself in relishing the moment, the completion of being bound to this man, physically, emotionally, spiritually. They might forever have to deny to the public what they were to each other, but knowing Zach felt it, too, was all Harvey needed.

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JAMIE CRAIG Jamie Craig is the collaborative efforts of Pepper Espinoza and Vivien Dean. Both successful authors on their own, they began working together in early 2006. Pepper lives with her husband and cats in Utah, where she attends graduate school, and Vivien resides in northern California with her husband and two children.

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Don’t miss the next Calendar Boys— December: First And Always What would you do if all your dreams came true on Christmas morning? Michael Pappas has been dating football superstar Tre Griffin on the sly for nearly a year; unfortunately, the demands of Tre’s career often keep them separated and alone. But Tre has a plan to change all that, and showing up unannounced on Christmas Day is just the beginning of his surprises.

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