Nutcrackers: Devilishly Addictive Mind Twisters for the Insatiably Verbivorous

ishly Addictive

sting PUZZLE: iably Verbivorous

NUTCRACKERS

N Uw TC RA

KE RS *

Devilishly Addictive Mind Twisters for the Insatiably Verbivorous BY

Jesse Green AND Meg Wolitzer

GROVE WEIDENFELD NEW YORK

Copyright © 1991 by Jesse Green and Meg Wolitzer All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, by any means, including mechanical, electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission of the publisher. Published by Grove Weidenfeld A division of Grove Press, Inc. 841 Broadway New York, New York 10003-4793 Published in Canada by General Publishing Company, Ltd.

ISBN 0-8021-3258-8 Manufactured in the United States of America Printed on acid-free paper Designed by Helen Barrow First Edition 1991 1 3

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to Allen T Cohn Jr., H.N. Lancelot Jr., and Big Earl . .. real big

CONTENTS INTRODUCTION: Abundance

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INSTRUCTIONS: Breaking the Code

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MISSING PERSONS

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CRYPTIC CROSSWORDS

57

LABYRINTHS

87

VERBATIMS

115

SOLUTIONS

143

INTRODUCTION

ABUNDANCE which to us means a hard and elegant puzzle, there's a moment when all the baffling elements suddenly align themselves, like the tumblers of a combination lock. The solver encounters a particular pleasure no other pastime can match: a moment of blossom and perverse intellectual joy. In our Nutcrackers, we try to lead you to that experience-and keep you away from it as long as possible. Most of these puzzles were, after all, created for a magazine called 7 Days. It had not been our intention to go professional. Previously we had written puzzles only for birthdays, traveling, illnesses, and such. The puzzles were complicated, and the clues within them arcane in the extreme. Many of them referred to such major figures in our peculiar pantheon as Susan Sontag, the Carvel ice-cream guy, Mary Tyler Moore, and Marcel Proust. It would have been impossible for anyone else to solve them-but that was their aim and glory. Even earlier, in our separate suburban childhoods, we had become intoxicated with words-not just their literal meanings as offered up in books, but their unreliability and magic. In one of her memoirs, the poet Elizabeth Bishop remembers herself as a child looking on while her relatives played a card game they called peanockle. At the same time, in her reading, she discovered a different card game, this one pronounced-or so she surmised from the peculiar spelling-pinnotchly. It wasn't until many years later that she discovered these two games were actually one: pinochle. How could English do that? We've wondered that all our lives. Like Elizabeth Bishop, we waited many years for our first misapprehensions of the language to be reconciled-a reconciliation achieved at the cost of some disillusion. We actually preferred to think that congested traffic on the expressway was bumpita-bumpa, that the first man and woman were named Odd and Even. Perhaps it comforted us to transform the cruel rat race we always heard news of into a playful, domestic doggy-dog world. But English, we all too quickly discovered, was not a fully domesticated beast. It could delight and then disturb. Skin milk-how disgusting! Haste makes waste-how dirty! The object of Hindu reincarnation? Minerva. But why Minerva? What had she done? Naturally, it was not long before the phonemic glue that held all words together began to dissolve. Cinema, spelled out in foot-high letters atop a local movie marquee, cruelly-it must IN A GOOD PUZZLE,

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have been a marquee de Sade-insisted on making itself anemic. Later, like a prodigal son, iceman would cometh to rejoin the anagrammatic clan. Cold? Bloodless? Yes, but irresistible. Unbidden, words began to fall apart around us: the names of loved ones, the names of soap. Sometimes the results would be felicitous flowerings of language; sometimes just fleurs du mal. A bridge needs structural reinforcement? Well, that makes sense: a rein for cement. But does it help the world to know that histrionics is an anagram of trichinosis?Or apnea a version of paean?This kind of thing just gives you headaches-not for nothing is migraine an anagram of imaginer. In any case, we had no choice, and such verbal contortion has continued to occupy us, at least in part, from those days until these. we met as winners of Mademoiselle's guest-editor competition during the summer of 1979. Despite much fanfare, our official responsibilities were vague; they seemed to involve trying on jeans, participating in scent seminars, and living down the infamous example of Sylvia Plath. In the absence of any genuine occupation, we almost immediately discovered our mutual taste for wordplay-a taste indulged at the expense of our hosts. Mademoiselle was quickly perverted into a magazine for convalescent dowagers: Madame Was Ill (Hot Looks for Fall!). Then came the magazine for stylish birds: Madame Oiseau. Next, an edition for wives of Nobel laureates: Madame Wiesel. A classic folie a deux had begun. (Folie a deux? Exude a foil!) Such nonsense earned us looks of bewilderment and disdain; we learned to keep our habit private. By the time we finished college, wordplay was conducted largely in the dark. New to New York and lonely, we spent most nights on opposite ends of the telephone, first watching reruns of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, then lapsing into spasms of verbal madness. Guessing games, anagrams, palindromes, puns: We played with words until the sun came up and finally we were reduced to sleepy laughter over a candy for monkeys called Rhesus Peanut Butter Cups. Increasingly, the standard puzzles available to us in the Sunday papers seemed tame in comparison to our nightly marathons. Once having memorized the fauna of the outback (emu, koala), the suffixes for sugars (-ase, -ose), and the fact that "actress Merkel" is invariably Una, what was the point? Solving such clues became more chore than pleasure, a busman's holiday. What we really needed was a holiday abroad-for though crossword puzzles had been, essentially, an American invention (the first appeared in the New York World in 1913), it was in England that the form had flourished most inventively. And the rest of our wordplay seemed vaguely un-American, too. We became aficionados of the puzzles that appeared in British publications like the Listener, the Guardian, and the Times of London. To our delight, we found that Harper's and the Atlantic were putting out Americanized versions that were almost as challenging. And so when we were asked to write puzzles of our own, we at least had models. But we also had doubts. IMPROBABLY,

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For writers with perhaps overly serious intentions, how respectable an enterprise was it? Wordplay in private was one thing, but wordplay in print: Was it not like choosing Clown College over Cambridge? We were greatly appeased to recall that even so unimpeachable a figure as Stephen Sondheim had written puzzles for a while (and worse, a television show) without evident embarrassment or hindrance to his career. And so we began to develop a defense of wordplay, if not to edify solvers, at least to edify ourselves. Wordplay stands in the same relationship to the attempted perfection of language as shamans and their mad rituals do to religion. (The medieval Jewish Kabbalists even went so far as to base their interpretations of scripture on anagrams, puns, acronyms, and the like.) A good pun breaks through the imperturbable facade of speech and shocks us into an awareness of the mystery of language. It is wilder than we think, and wiser. Not to say wordplay is religion-though it has its fanatics and apostates. No, it is just a pastime, albeit a pastime with something to teach. In a lecture delivered before the Academy of American Poets, James Merrill makes a reluctant case for what is evidently a guilty pleasure. "We speak wistfully of sounding the depths of the language," he says, "but language has its shallows too, and we can drown in those just as easily as in the raptures of the former." As an example he cites a London Times crossword that offered this definition for a nine-letter word: "A kind of cakewalk? Plenty of it!" Merrill solves the riddle at once-the answer is abundance-but the novice may not understand why he's right. Only when the word is allowed to fracture will the logic become clear: The cakewalk in question is really a bun dance. (See "Breaking the Code" on page 15 for a step-by-step guide to solving cryptic clues.) "Now this is at best the kindergarten of language, " Merrill concludes. "Still, it has the virtue of training us, once we grow up, to keep in mind the oddity of a given word." Merrill should know: His poetry is filled with dazzling wordplay. In one poem, a painted Japanese screen is described as casting "swirls before pine." This is a spoonerism put to wonderful use; perhaps those London Times puzzles honed his adult ear as much as Pope and Tennyson had done in his youth. In any case, the solving must have been fun or he would not have remembered it. We decided that if puzzles could be pleasurable and challenging, and even instructive every now and then, that was enough of a justification for us. so we accepted the assignment, determined to offer-as much as the grueling weekly schedule would allow-a variety of puzzles to entertain and exercise the mind. We began to think of them as mental machines-Nautilus equipment for the brain-with which bright people could work out muscles they didn't know they had. It seemed to us there were practical, albeit indirect, benefits. A problem studied conventionally for hours (whether it be intellectual, mechanical, or emotional) is often best solved by the quick application of unexpected insight-but insight cannot be bottled. It's a habit of mind that must be trained. In our AND

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experience, it develops most readily from the unlikeliest sources: a tough game of chess, a witty conversation, a moment of urgency. We aimed to create puzzles that would provide painless challenges like these. We were not always successful. One Nutcracker variety was hounded ignominiously from the pages of 7 Days after months of reader outrage. Other puzzles prompted furious phone calls and, in one case, an obscene, if encoded, imprecation. And an April Fool's cryptic (whose clues looked almost normal but led to no possible answers) resulted in actual threats against our persons. Luckily, we were usually able to be both challenging and fair: perfect kindergarten teachers. Most of the puzzles flew by without incident in their weekly rotation. Somewhere between the sadomasochistic rigor of the British cryptics and the flabby dullness of their American cousins, we located our own style. If there was a choice to be made between perfection of form and cleverness of content (as there usually was) we invariably opted for the latter. Symmetry thus went by the wayside-grounds for excommunication, to the English. But the puzzles were fun. And now, in this collection, we're glad to preserve some of the best, plus several that are brand-new or substantially reworked. You'll find four kinds of Nutcrackers in the pages that follow; each resembles a kind of puzzle you may have seen before but works a maddening twist on the pattern. Missing Persons puzzles, for instance, take traditional, laborious word-search puzzles and trick them out with cryptic clues and a hidden theme. They are an excellent introduction to the cryptic technique employed in Cryptic Crosswords, which resemble typical Sunday puzzles only to the degree that Maseratis resemble Fords. Labyrinths, which follow, combine elements of mazes, riddles, and standard crosswords to create brain twisters not quite like any of their ingredients. And Verbatims reconfigure standard double-acrostics with puns and quotations of more than mechanical interest. Each type of puzzle is explained in a brief introduction, but don't expect to understand exactly what you're doing until you've tried a few Even then, we change the patterns to keep you on your toes. You do have two advantages over 7 Days readers, however. First, each puzzle is graded: One acorn means it's moderately hard, two means it's difficult, three means it's a really tough nut to crack. And another advantage you have is that you don't have to wait seven days for the solution. The puzzles are explained in detail at the back of the book. If you're stuck, use these solutions to help you with individual clues before giving up on the entire puzzle. And reading through a solution even after you've successfully completed a puzzle is one of the best ways to prepare yourself for another round of torture. As for us, the age of puzzles is-at least for the moment-over. Mary Tyler Moore no longer graces the Manhattan airwaves, we're too old to stay up all night without feeling the effects the next day, and one of us has a mewling baby in the house. We are, we reluctantly conclude from the evidence, adults. And with the untimely demise of 7 Days, we let our

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enrollment at Clown College lapse. We find ourselves-like Marcel Proust after an operation-in a calmer stupor. Perhaps that's why we're so pleased to see our Nutcrackers rejuvenated in this Grove edition: the better to corrupt others now that we are fully corrupted. And who knows, maybe soon, like lemmings, we'll be eager to jump back into the sea of letters. For we still cling to our doggy-dog world of wordplay, in which heaven is ruled by a girl named Minerva, and where the sheer strangeness and bounty of language can make even a bun dance for joy.

INSTRUCTIONS

BREAKING THE CODE cryptic clues may represent the height of cleverness or the depth of sadistic inanity. Perhaps a bit of both. Remember, they were first developed-and are still most commonly encountered-in England. One pictures barristers, riding the Tube, submitting to the weekly torture of their cryptics with the same combination of discomfort and relish that accompanied their hazings and degradations at Harrow. And one pictures their torturers, the creators of the crosswords-well, one doesn't picture them. Suffice it to say that their noms de plume (how wisely they choose to remain anonymous!) are drawn from the Spanish Inquisition. The authors' true names are not the only mystery. English cryptics are never explained: no rules, no defense, no attempt to elucidate solutions. In this book of Nutcrackers, however, we take a stab at all three. A defense has already been attempted, in the Introduction. Solutions are presented in unprecedented detail, beginning on page 143. And, a few paragraphs hence, we spell out the rules, run through dozens of examples, give away some tricks, and generally try to get you started. We might have felt like betrayers of the sacred secrets in laying out the ground rules thus, were it not for the pioneering work of other American cruciverbalists. Perhaps you've seen the curious-looking puzzles by E. R. Galli and Richard Maltby Jr. in Harper'sor the ones by Emily Cox and Henry Rathvon in the Atlantic. (Both magazines provide detailed instructions upon request.) Or perhaps you remember the elegant series created by Stephen Sondheim for New York in the late '60s. (New York currently reprints the weekly cryptic from the Times of London.) Even the New York Times Magazine, once every four weeks, makes an attempt at crypticism on its puzzle page. You may have seen them, you may even have tried to solve some of the clues, but you may well have given up in disgust after a few bewildered minutes. When we first tried to solve a cryptic puzzle, we felt as though we'd parachuted into Lithuania without a Berlitz. But with perseverance and time, we gradually became fluent enough to understand, to speak, and, maddeningly, to dream in this absurd foreign tongue. Yet even this was not enough. Beyond mastering the language, we saw that solving the puzzles required us to become verbal detectives-to take out our spyglasses, like Sherlock Holmes, and examine the evidence at DEPENDING ON YOUR PREDILECTIONS,

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hand. In what follows, we pass our knowledge on to you, and try to make it all seem ... elementary?

THE CRYPTIC CLUE WHAT IS a cryptic? Simply put, it's a kind of clue. It may be used as the basis of various kinds of puzzles. (In this book, both Missing Persons and Cryptic Crosswords depend on the cryptic.) The answer to a cryptic clue will almost always be a real word (or words) at least three letters long, drawn from standard English vocabulary (including proper nouns) with the periodic intrusion of familiar foreign words and phrases, abbreviations, acronyms, and even the occasional English oddity. In this way cryptics are much like ordinary crossword clues, but unlike them, cryptics work just as hard to keep you away from the answer as they work to suggest it. That's why they can be so hard to crack, and why you should probably read the rest of this chapter before you try to start. The most important fact about cryptic clues isthat they offer two distinct paths to the same answer: one a more or less straightforward definition, the other a trick (an anagram, say). The clue writer stitches the two parts together, hoping to disguise the seam between them. Your basic job is therefore to deconstruct the clue and, by comparing the two constituent parts, to find the one solution that satisfies both. To do this you must willfully ignore what the actual sense of the words seems to be; any apparent meaning is just a red herring. Look instead for a very literal indication of how the clue is constructed and what it wants you to do. This may seem impossible when you first come across something that looks like example 1: 1. Crumple verbose note (7) A stage direction? An oracle's mystifying utterance? No, just a cryptic clue. And with a little practice, you'll be able to take it apart and solve it. Count on several things to help you. First, the number in parentheses at the end of each clue will tell you the configuration of letters in the answer. This is not as confusing as it may at first appear to solvers of ordinary crossword puzzles, who are accustomed to counting boxes in the diagram to procure the same information. In cryptic clues, we save you the trouble. If the answer were, for instance, puzzle, the clue would end with the indication (6)-telling you to look for a six-letter word. If the answer were hot dog, you'd see (3,3)-telling you to look for an answer composed of two three-letter words. (7-7) would accompany a clue leading to a hyphenated answer like Waldorf-Astoria. Because apostrophes aren't counted, a clue for aren't would end with a (5). So a cursory look at example 1 would tell you that the answer isa sevenletter word. Good start, but hardly enough to lead you to an answer. Luckily, another rule of cryptic

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construction will help you out with the next step. Remembering that every clue is composed of two distinct parts-a definition and a subsidiary indication, or trick-now be aware of this: The definition will, with few exceptions, be at one end or the other-not buried in the middle. We offer no justification for this rule except to say that the imponderable lords of crypticism have so decreed it. In the case of example 1, the definition must therefore be one of four things: crumple; crumple verbose; verbose note; or note. (It can't be the whole phrase-crumpleverbose notebecause that would leave nothing behind to make up the second part of the clue. And it can't be verbose because that word, by itself, is not at one end or the other.) Which of the four theoretically possible definitions is correct? Looking at the options, you may quickly discard number two (crumple verbose) because it makes no sense at all as a definition of an English word. Number three is more attractive: there could be a word that means verbose note-but can you think of one? It doesn't seem likely. (And besides, that would leave crumple as the subsidiary indication-not a very promising situation.) So you may well surmise that the answer to example 1 is a seven-letter word meaning either crumple or note. Partitioning the definition from the subsidiary indication is at least half the job in solving cryptics. You might choose to make the division clear by drawing an actual line in the cluebut draw it in pencil because we do everything we can to lead you astray. What looks like a definition may prove to be a trick. There is usually a way to tell, however-and this brings us to the third helpful rule of cryptic construction. You will almost always find a signal that indicates what kind of trick has been employed, and therefore what you must do to break the code. The various tricks, and the signals that betray them, form the core of the cryptic curriculum that follows.

ANAGRAMS into another word by rearranging its letters is often seen in cryptics as an act of violence. Words like smash, pulverizes, broken, and destroyed are therefore used frequently to signal the presence of an anagram. In solving example 1, your eye may thus be drawn to the word crumple. Could it be a sign? Indeed it is. The clue could be rephrased as "Crumple (i.e., make an anagram of) verbose to get a seven-letter word for note." Note that there are no wasted words in the clue: the first two are the trick, the third the definition. And note that note can be a verb or a noun. The answer is observe. Anagrams are suggested not only by violence but by insanity, dancing, manipulation, storm, drunkenness, mess, falsehood, spasm. Evil and a simple sense of something not quite right are equally popular. Whatever the operant metaphor, the signal may be posed in many ways: as a simple verb (breaks), an imperative (crumple), a participle (switched), a gerund (swimming), an adverb (madly), an adjective (stupid), a preposition (oft), an idiom (in a tizzy), TURNING ONE WORD

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or even a combining form (pseudo-). Whatever the signal is, it will always immediately precede or follow the word to be jumbled-a useful thing to know when you're trying to pry open the clue. Try cracking example 2, for instance: 2. Cathouse doorbell out of order (8) You might immediately suspect out of order as an indication that an anagram is present. And since you know that the answer will be eight letters long, you will quickly identify cathouse and doorbell as possibilities. But, as we've just said, the anagram signal must adjoin the word to be jumbled-and furthermore, the definition part of the clue must appear at the beginning or end. Putting all this together, you would come to the conclusion that doorbell must be the anagram and cathouse the definition. You could therefore rephrase example 2 as 'An eightletter word for cathouse that is made up of the letters in doorbell spelled out of order." Now that you've cracked the clue's method, you need only solve your equation-not always an easy proposition. But let the phonemic glue dissolve and eventually you'll find that the answer is bordello. Sometimes the anagram will involve more than one word: 3. Crazy Helen's ripe for grasping (10) Here, crazy indicates the anagram; once you've determined this, the rest of the clue submits easily to analysis. Since the letters to be mixed must adjoin the anagram signal, and since the answer isknown to be ten letters long, it follows that the ten letters of Helen's ripe are the letters in question. Whatever's left-however unlikely-must be the definition. Knowing this, you can now rephrase the clue as follows: "Aten-letter word that means for graspingthat is also an anagram of Helen's ripe." Note that the apostrophe, like all punctuation in these puzzles, must be ignored; it's designed to confuse. The answer is prehensile. The preceding examples demonstrate the anagram form in its most straightforward incarnation. By playing with parts of speech, we can make the clue much harder to crack. 4. Doctor slang for "dickhead" (5) In this excellent if obscene example, doctor is made to seem like a noun, though it's actually a verb that tells you what to do. Rephrase the clue as "Doctor the word slang to get a five-letter word for dickhead. " You may wish to write out all 120 possible arrangements of the five letters in question; you may wish to concentrate instead on discovering a synonym for dickhead. The best method though is to let both tasks swim together in your brain; you will end up with glans much quicker that way. While it may be possible to write out all 120 arrangements of the letters in a short word

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like slang, it hardly seems likely you'd have the paper for the 3,628,800 permutations of a tenletter word. And yet how else are you supposed to solve a clue like this Stephen Sondheim classic? 5. Broken harmonicas found floating inManhattan (10) Clearly the anagram is of harmonicas, but what isthe word in question supposed to mean? Not until you take an imaginative leap and realize that Manhattan refers here to the drink, not the island, will you have a chance of discovering the answer that usually floats in the cocktail in question: maraschino. Sondheim's astounding anagrams notwithstanding, it's the definition half of the clue that determines the difficulty. The definitions can be staightforward synonyms or vague indications or anything in between. 6. Hedonism intrigues Broadway composer (8) 7. Company man attacked hedonism (8) These two examples lead to the same answer (Sondheim) using the same anagram (hedonism); in example 6 it's signaled by intrigues, in example 7 by attacked. Despite this, the latter (which puns on the Sondheim show Company) is clearly more difficult than the former, which is straightforward. A third variation, 8. Satanic, demonish creator of cryptic puzzles (8) uses a new anagram (demonish) and yet another definition-and demonstrates that there's more than one way to skin a cryptic cat. It would be hard to say which is more satisfying, complicated many-lettered anagrams that are perfectly clued (like example 9) or silly, obvious ones (like example 10) that are slightly less than perfect but make up for it with elan. (Explanations of all unsolved examples may be found on page 144.) 9. Retaliations suffered philosophically, like a Greek (12) 10. Lana Turner is compulsive, according to Freud (4) Sometimes the complicated ones are actually easier-at least the task is clear. But not always. 11. Iridescent snakes cause rash (10) And no fair using a computer to do the snaking for you.

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HIDDEN WORDS SOMETIMES THE ANSWER you're seeking is spelled out sequentially in the letters of the clue itself. 12. Spring inthe midst of despair (3) Phrases like in the midst of-and among, harboring, at heart, or just plain in-are common signals of hidden-word clues. (Others, less common, we leave for you to discover in the rest of the book.) Knowing this, you would be quick to read this clue as "Athree-letter word for spring that is in the midst of the word despair." Not much choice here: the answer is spa. (In the Solutions section, we'd explain this trick in shorthand as "hidden: deSPAir"-thus making the point visually.) But not all hidden answers are buried like spa in a single word; some cross two or even more boundaries. 13. Scoffer cowers infancy niche (5) 14. Shy person is somewhat frantic (5) 15. Grieve over Cassavetes or Rowlands (6) Example 13 may be read as: "Afive-letter word for scoffer that is cowering in fancy niche"-that is, in the cy at the end of fancy and the nic at the beginning of niche. The answer is cynic. Example 14 is similar except that the signaling word-somewhat-is somewhat trickier. This clue would need to be rephrased as "a five-letter word for frantic that is shy personsomewhat. " The answer is hyper. And in example 15, over indicates that the answer bridges the words that follow: "Asix-letter word for grieve that is over the words Cassavetes or Rowlands." The answer is sorrow. These clues aren't terribly difficult in theory-especially once you learn to recognize the indicators-but in practice they are usually the hardest because they're the simplest. You rarely suspect them. And then, too, they can be made much trickier with variations like the following: 16. Topless stripper-she takes LSD (7) 17. Mayor stopped without finishing dressing (4) In example 16, topless means that the stripper peeled off her top (that is, the letter s) to make tripper-aword defined by she takes LSD. (We might also have said headless;beware of other such surgical indications throughout the book.) Example 17 has a similar trick-can you spot it? The trick in example 18, though, would be hard to spot because it isn't there. 18. Mother and father, at heart, are not diminished (5)

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Here we have cruelly decided to hide the answer in a word suggested by the clue instead of in the words actually present. To solve such clues, you must make the necessary substitution; in this case, replacing mother and father with parents. Only now can you see the hidden answer-aren't-defined by are not diminished. (Remember, the apostrophe doesn't count as a letter.) Sometimes, as in example 19, the substitution will require rudimentary foreignlanguage skills. 19. Despise being InFrench estate (4) Usually, however, English will prove quite foreign enough.

REVERSALS A VARIATION on the hidden-word clue is the reversal, whose answer may be read backward in the letters set before you. 20. Refunded returned diaper (6) Translate example 20 as: "the word diaper, when returned, makes a six-letter word for refunded." The answer, of course, is repaid-diaperspelled backward, that is. In example 20, it was returned that told you to scan through the clue from right to left rather than left to right; other indications might be backward, reversible, up, or even westward. And of course, as in hidden-word clues, the answers to reversals can cross word boundaries or be completely subsumed. 21. Ayatollah must move partly to the left to make deal (5) 22. Returning from the abyss, Olga is reflective (6) In its cryptic way, example 21 asks you to find a part of the word ayatollah moving to the left that makes a five-letter word meaning deal. Once you realize this, it's easy to see the answer, allot. And now that you see how simply these clues are constructed, you'll have no trouble with example 22, except perhaps for its tricky definition.

REBUSES PERHAPS YOU REMEMBER the game show Concentration. The trick there was to solve a classic rebus by putting together the sounds suggested by the drawings on the game board. A cartoon of a cistern followed by a leaking pen and a 2,000-pound weight would suggest the name Wellington (well + ink + ton). And then you'd win an end table.

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Our rebuses follow a similar principle, using letters instead of syllables as the building blocks and using words instead of drawings to suggest them. You might call our rebuses a kind of letter-arithmetic; indeed, in their simplest form, they suggest a straightforward equation. In example 23, for instance, 23. Me and Mory composed a song for cats (6) you might think of and as a kind of plus sign and composed as an equal sign. The whole clue could be rewritten, in fact, as Me + Mory = a song for cats, from which it shouldn't take long to derive the answer-memory-by performing the addition. (A song for cats? For the musical Cats, of course.) Unfortunately for you, we rarely leave rebus clues in such a pristine state. Usually one or more of the words to be added are replaced in the clue with synonyms or other indications. Example 24, a rather tough clue, should give you the idea. 24. Christian designer and group of doctors make scene in box (7) Ignore the literal meaning of the words, which seem to suggest a mishap at the opera. Instead, your first approach might be to guess that makes is a sort of equal sign in this rebus equation and and a sort of plus. Perhaps group of doctors will suggest AMA right off the bat. If so, you would only have to infer Dioras a substitute for Christiandesignerto get the answer, diorama, defined by scene in box. Rebuses employ subtraction as well-often indicated by words such as without, lacking, or spent. 25. Van Gogh without penny for wine inFrance (3) Recast the clue in equation form as Van Gogh - penny = wine in France. Then, by making the appropriate substitutions, reduce the left half to Vincent - cent-from which you'll immediately see that the right half, wine in France, is the three-letter word vin. Substitutions like Vincent for Van Gogh, or even Dior for Christian designer, are fairly straightforward in concept. But trickier substitutions are just as common. All standard abbreviations-like co. for company-areused, and many less standard: compass points (north = N), letter grades (excellent = A), mathematical terms (unknown = x), units of measure (teaspoon = t), even musical signs (loud = f). The letter o might be indicated by love, nothing, outstanding, oxygen, or even overhead-which is to say the "head" of over. Hundreds of substitutions are thus made possible; the three examples below suggest the range. 26. Ma Bell has smart case (7) 27. Supply excellent joke (5) 28. "Top of the morning!" is a Scottish affectation (3)

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In example 26, you have to replace Ma Bell with its corporate initials (ATT) and then add a tricky synonym for smart (that is, ache) to get attache (defined by case). In example 27, excellent is replaced-surprise-not by A but by the equally plausible E; when joke is added (that is, quip), you get a five-letter word meaning supply: equip. Example 28 is made substantially harder by the accident of an idiom that jams the two parts of the rebus together: Top of "the" (that is, t) + morning (that is, a.m.) = a Scottish affectation (that is, tam). All clear? You will be disturbed to learn that any of the cryptic processes mentioned elsewhere in this introduction may be employed in creating a rebus. 29. Swami's heart set on rug for tent (6) 30. Jealous man returned to add greeting (7) 31. Parent has ethical problem that's beside the point (13) Example 29 includes a hidden-word trick as an element of the rebus: Swami's heart (that is, wam) set on rug (in the sense of hairpiece-that is, wig) makes tent (that is, wigwam). Example 30 includes a reversal as an element of the rebus: returned to (that is, ot) + greeting (that is, hello) = jealous man (that is, Othello). And example 31 throws an anagram into the equation. Perhaps making it into math will help you out: Parent + ethical problem = beside the point. When you realize that ethical problem means an anagram of ethical, you will be well on your way to divining the answer: parenthetical. We have only mentioned a few of the possible tricks used in rebuses in this book; others might involve numbers (Beethoven's Fifth could mean the fifth letter of Beethoven, or h), or initials, or odd or even letters-anything our evil minds can devise. But however tricky a rebus may get, it will always reduce to a reasonable equation, once you crack the code. Try this one, from the Times of London, which is typically British in its absurd complexity: 32. Gene's content, in this instance, with a heartless song (8) It may give you a headache, but solving it hurts so good.

CONTAINERS IF REBUSES

represent addition and subtraction, containers might be said to represent division. 33. Put it in Hilary-that's a big laugh! (8)

Taken literally, this clue tells you exactly what to do-put it in Hilary to make an eight-letter word defined by the phrase that's a big laugh. You won't have to fiddle around for very long to come up with hilarity. But you might have had to fiddle around longer if we'd used substitutions for the key words in question.

24

34. Finger disease is going around-sing with your mouth closed (5) As usual, the key is to divide the clue properly into its constituent parts-easier said than done because we've obscured the division between them. Finger disease reads as an unbreakable phrase when, in fact, finger is the definition of the five-letter word in question while disease is part of the trick. You might rephrase the clue as "a five-letter word for finger made by a disease that is going around a word that means sing with your mouth closed. " As an equation, it could be rewritten: Finger = disease - sing with your mouth closed. Perhaps you'll solve the last term first: Sing with your mouth closed could only mean hum. Plugging this into the developing equation, you'd have: Finger = disease + hum. You know from the number in parentheses at the end of the original clue that the answer is a five-letter word. If the middle three letters are hum, the missing disease must be two letters long. MS (for multiple sclerosis) comes to mind, but there's no such word as mhums. It will soon occur to you that the disease is TB, and that the finger in question must therefore be thumb. In example 34, note that the dash is a red herring; need we remind you that all punctuation in cryptic clues is designed to confuse and must be ignored? But not everything we do is so deliberately misleading. Like other kinds of clues, containers come with internal signals to help identify them. Going around, divided by, about, or even without (in the sense of "outside of") tell you to put one word around another; within, amidst, divides, infiltrates, makes a nest in, and countless others signify the opposite process. Try these container clues, for example: 35. Playwright's Morning in the Big Museum (5) 36. Mexican food-the donkey ate it (7) But try to contain your pleasure upon solving them.

DOUBLE DEFINITIONS often by now that it may seem as old as Caesar: All clues are divided into two parts. One part is the definition and the other part is the trick. But in some clues the trick is itself a definition. If this sounds tautological, well, we didn't invent the rules. Double-definition clues are perhaps the purest of cryptics in that the trick involved is the oldest trick in the book, derived from a fundamental characteristic of the language itself. Because English is spelled with letters that represent sounds instead of ideas, any group of letters-without rearrangement or distortion-may mean two (or more) completely different things. Double definitions play on this fact. YOU'VE READ IT so

37. Condiment prank (5)

N U T C R A C K E R S: Instructions

25

Example 37 may bring college dining halls to mind, but of course all evident meaning is false. In fact you are faced with two definitions-or more accurately, indications-of the same five-letter word. An equation describing the clue would be simple: Condiment = prank. Now you just have to think of a word that means both. The answer is caper. Of course, one of the definitions will usually be trickier than the other, or will become confusing in the way it is used in the clue. 38. Bad spirit (3) In the context of the phrase, spiritwill seem to be synonymous with feeling or mood-but you must, of course, ignore the apparent context. In fact, spirit is used here in the sense of alcoholic beverage. Is there a word that means or is related to bad that is also a spirit? There is, and it's rum. Here, bad turns out to be a less obvious definition too. Double definitions like the ones we've shown you so far are the most easily recognizable of all cryptics. A two-word clue doesn't leave you much choice-and doesn't give you any trouble when you're trying to determine where the split is. But longer double definitions can be just as hard to pick out and decipher as any other clues, especially when we start playing with word breaks, abbreviations, and other indirections. 39. Knot maker's file (4) 40. Bill for female's period (3) Example 39 depends on the annoying propensity of English words to look alike and yet be pronounced differently. You could rephrase it as "a four-letter word suggested by knot maker that also means file." The answer is tier-in one pronunciation, someone who ties a knot; in another pronunciation a synonym for file (in the sense of rank and file). Note that the only signal indicating the double definition is the 's between the two halves (the clue could thus be read as "Knot maker is file"). The apostrophe in example 40, however, is a red herring; the two definitions are actually bill for females and period. Can you derive the answer? Other possible signals are and, or, for, or is uncontracted-but more typically you'll get nothing between the two definitions. Instead you'll just have to experiment with different places to draw the line. 41. Protested glossy fabric (5) 42. Prepares expensive tomatoes and miscellaneous items (8) In example 41, that won't be too hard; it comes between protested and glossy fabric. But now you'll just have to stare at these two halves until you realize that protested can be defined as sat in-a group of letters indistinguishable, at least as far as cryptics are concerned, from the glossy fabric (and answer) satin. Example 42 works similarly; we'll let you figure out how.

26

HOMOPHONES the opposite of double definitions, homophone clues are based on words spelled differently but pronounced-at least vaguely-alike. They usually include a signal like we hear, out loud, to the audience, or they say; the word or phrase meant as the soundalike will immediately precede or follow the signal. IN SOME WAYS

43. Dictates charming letters (6) Here, dictates clearly suggests the homophone; you might therefore translate the clue as "a sixletter word for letters that sounds like a word suggested by charming." The answer is printsunderstanding letters as a verb. Prince might also have seemed acceptable (it's six letters long), but remember: The definition must always be at one end of the clue or the other, never in the middle. And besides, the homophone signal preceded charming, not letters. Sometimes neither of these conditions will obtain, and you will have to depend on another method for choosing the correct homophone as your answer. 44. Prophets speak of Places in the Heart (7) Here, only the seven in parentheses tells you that the answer is oracles (defined by prophets) not auricles (defined by places in the heart). But in example 45, even the number in parentheses is no help. 45. Old goat attends Passover dinner (5) We will tell you that the homophone indicator here is attends (in the sense of hears) and that the homophone, as often happens, is more fun than exact. But what the two possible answers are you must determine for yourself. (In a puzzle, you'd be able to pick the correct one by checking the letters of the answers that crossed it in the grid.) No hints at all about example 4646. Undertakers list a greater number of Venetian paintings (10) -which is just bad enough to lead us to puns.

PUNS the demarcations between the different kinds of clues we've discussed are somewhat arbitrary. Rebuses and containers can in some ways be seen as a subset of anagrams; containers often resemble hidden-word clues and reversals; homophones are like double definitions based on sound instead of orthography; and none of the categories is perfectly consistent even within itself. (That's because the whole enterprise is monumentally artificial.) NOTE THAT

N U T C R A C K E R S: Instructions

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As if this weren't loose enough, we now offer Puns as the last kind of cryptic-a catchall for anything not covered elsewhere. Puns usually take a form of their own, disobeying even the most fundamental rules of cryptics. They may not have two parts, or if they do, the two parts may not be discrete and separable. The definition might be anywhere (or even nowhere) in the clue. They may be based, like example 47, on sound (and thus resemble homophones); or, like example 48, on spelling (and thus resemble rebuses); or, like example 49, on something not quite describable (and thus resemble-well, nothing, really). 47. Hole in the head-like a talk show host? (6) 48. Casino employee's motto-perfect! (5) 49. A little testy? (4) As you can see, puns often come with a question mark or exclamation point to indicate that the normal rules of cryptic construction have been suspended, but be careful: Not every clue so adorned is necessarily a pun. About the only thing we can say with certainty is that their answers, when you get them, will make you groan.

THE AMAZING TALKING CLUE that cryptic clues are almost always divided into two parts, one a definition or suggestion of the answer, the other a subsidiary indication, or trick? These basic facts bear repeating. The definition will always be at one end or the other of the clue, never buried in the middle. The trick may be an anagram, hidden word, reversal, rebus, container, double definition, or homophone; puns break the rules. Most of these tricks come with helpful signals-words that, if you catch them, suggest the process in use. But they also come with various kinds of indirection, like red-herring punctuation; be especially wary of apostrophes, ellipses, dashes, and false word breaks. Despite the apparent illogic of the clues, they are, at their best, so internally consistent and carefully constructed that they can be reduced to equations, as you've seen above. But the job of solving cryptic clues is only minimally mathematical. Imagination is a more important ingredient. There are so many steps in the process of Nutcracking that it's unlikely you'll solve a tough clue in any orderly fashion. You'll take a stab at it one way, then switch and try a different possibility. Does it look like a rebus? A homophone? A pun? Are there words that might be signals? Words that might be anagrams? Is this word on the left the definition? Or is it this phrase on the right instead? Eventually a mysterious confluence of thought-or a peek at the Solutions section-will bring you the answer. While waiting for the light to dawn, keep in mind that English is a multifarious and protean language; the purpose of cryptics is to exploit that fact. Any word can be tortured a HAVE WE MENTIONED

28

hundred different ways and dressed in as many disguises. Amazingly, all eight clues below lead to the same answer, using different cryptic tricks. 50. Kleenex strewn around suites (6) 51. Patti's suede coats-a see-through fabric (6) 52. Made us sit back to get material for organ (6) 53. Paper that head of Teamsters Isto bring to trial (6) 54. Thin paper inTuesday's short edition of magazine (6) 55. A lot of lies are flimsy stuff (6) 56. They say CBS's chairman has acquired footwear network (6) 57. Be she Miss Sontag? Yes! On the nosel (6) After you figure out the answer to one of these, use it to explicate the method of the others. In doing so, imagine yourself an apprentice thief: Listen carefully to the tumblers turning within the safe. Cryptic clues, more often than not, tell you exactly what you must do to solve them, if only you can blot out apparent meaning and surface syntax long enough to hear the quite explicit instructions being offered beneath. Twist me, says the anagram. Pronounce me, says the homophone. Connect me, says the double definition. Add me up, says the rebus. Like the goods in the safe, or the delicious nut inside the seamless shell, Crack me, say all cryptic.

MISSING PERSONS! THE APPEAL of traditional word-search puzzles has never been apparent to us. Typically, the solver is given a list of words-30 varieties of trees, for example-and asked to locate each of the items in a giant block of letters. This is entertaining only to the degree that finding your car in a parking lot is entertaining, and not nearly as much of a challenge. The words are, after all, right there in front of you, and unless you need practice with letter matching, there isn't much these word-search puzzles will do to expand the capacity of your brain. Our Missing Persons puzzles are different. Instead of giving you an endless list of words to find, we give you ten cryptic clues. Solve these, following the instructions laid out in "Breaking the Code" (see page 15). If you can't figure them out, however, try working in reverse from the grid of letters; the answers to all ten clues will be found there, spelled out backward, forward, up, down, or diagonally. Circle the answers as you discover them; when you've gotten all ten, the unclued letters remaining will spell out a bonus clue. (Though some letters appear in more than one word, there are no extraneous letters in the grid.) You'll now have 11 items: the answers to the 10 cryptics plus the leftover bonus clue. Each of these relates in some way to the Missing Person in question; it's your job to divine who that person is. Keep in mind that the person may be male or female, real or fictional, dead or alive. Keep in mind, too, that the meaning of the clues may be straightforward or cryptic or downright obscure. Often you'll get the profession, sometimes a famous work or achievement; almost always you'll get wordplay on the person's first and last names. Since we don't tell you which clues are which, however, the trick is to think inductively. Say, for example, the ten clues lead you to the words WATCH, SATURDAY, MARTIN, CLUB, SOAP, GOAT, PALACE, BALL, COMIC, and CLEAR. You might first guess that the Missing Person was a COMIC-one who appeared, perhaps, on SATURDAY Night Live. Then you might put together MARTIN, CLUB, and GOAT to get the first name; BALL, WATCH, CLEAR, and PALACE to get the second. That would leave only SOAP to figure out; if the bonus clue were HE LOOKED MARVELOUS, would you be able to make the leap to the Missing Person in question? Or would Billy Crystal be forced to remain a Missing Person forever?

30

PUZZLE 1

AView to a Kill

*

We call them "acts" of violence as if they were staged, but this Missing Person proved otherwise. (Solution, page 145)

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PUZZLE

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Strings Attached

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There's always a price to pay for childish fantasy-as this Missing Person discovered. (Solution, page 145)

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PUZZLE 3

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Cruelty to Animals

Wildlife had few protectors back in the halcyon '50s-as this Missing Person clearly (Solution, page 146) proved.

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PUZZLE

4

Occidental Tourist

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It's often said that travel broadens the mind, but this Missing Person disproves the contention. (Solution, page 146)

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N U T C R A C K E R S: Missing Persons

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PUZZLE 8

Film Noir

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Brooding, intense, a trifle self-important-it's the genre that refused to die, as this Missing Person could tell you. (Solution, page 147)

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N U T C R A C K E R S:

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PUZZLE

Dispiriting To uplift the country-it sounds paradoxical, but that was the aim of the dispiriting (Solution, page 148) Missing Person in question.

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PUZZLE

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Starstruck

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Some people are destined by their names to shake things up, as this Missing Person proved. (Solution, page 148)

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PUZZLE

11

Ribbon Cutters

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Festive openings can lead to early endings, as these Missing Persons know only too well. (Solution, page 149)

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PUZZLE

12

Earth Mother

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Nurturing spirits have always enjoyed the feel of dirt between their fingers-as this (Solution, page 149) Missing Person made apparent.

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4 Grow old in black and white (4) 5 Bill, in U.S., is a droll sort (6) R ShPllfidi lorcited in hnv'q territnirv (6) -

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10 Knead-knead until raw (5) 11 ,

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N U T C R A C K E R S: Missing Persons

53

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54

PUZZLE

13

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Platter Puss

Talent-as rare and endangered as some wildlife species-must be nurtured carefully, as this Missing Person knows well. (Solution, page 149)

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2 Marco qnellmqn withholdsk the truth (6) 3 Lie about college nickname (3) 4 Unknown element found in Darjeeling's state (5) He Few--V----d nerfrrms *-in I-an VF^9nnern-,qnd he vans hurnsl (6) . ssoX vv} Slav sa-5 *-w

6 Go back in Siberian tent-it could use some culture! (6)7 Mn'q daft iincle (1)

8 Met first of undertakers during aimless, endless summer (6) Rhbrl.- ITllndrl ci-where hnatte bepinz hiirnina? (7M

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N U T C R A C K E R S: Mlssing Persons

55

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CRYPTICC CROSSWORDS ABOUT THE MOST you can expect in the way of cleverness from ordinary crosswords is a four-part rhyme at Christmas or a series of feeble clues about colors. Not so with the puzzles that follow. First, of course, are the clues themselves: They're cryptic, which means you'll have to study the rules in "Breaking the Code" (see page 15) to solve them. There you'll learn how to crack the safe of each of these apparently innocent clues and get at the answer inside. But that's not all. Even after you've solved the clues, another puzzle lies in wait-a safe to crack within the safe. And that one comes without instructions. Without explicit instructions, that is. In fact, each of the 14 Cryptic Crosswords that follow has an introduction that purports to tell you what the puzzle's about. But we're not above a red herring or two, or even an outright deception. What we can tell you is this: In many of the puzzles, some or all of the answers to the clues will require alteration before they can fit in the diagram. Sometimes things must be added; sometimes things must be taken away; sometimes what you have to do will leave the word an almost unrecognizable shell of its former self. In other puzzles, you may not be told where to put the answer once you've figured it out. Or the clue itself may require translation. Or the diagram may end up posing a riddle of its own. All these possibilities mean that you may have to solve a lot of clues before you can figure out how to enter even one. But don't give up. Eventually you'll be able to deduce the correct placement by playing with all the possible permutations; this may hurt your head, but we don't call them Nutcrackers for nothing. One thing is always true, however: Words end at the heavy black lines. (These dividers serve the same function as black boxes in normal crosswords.) Some letters are as a result "unchecked"-they have no words that cross them, that is. Also keep in mind that clue answers include plenty of proper nouns, a fair number of familiar foreign words, a bunch of abbreviations, and a few too many words that can best be described as obscure. The worst offenders among these-and we've kept them to a minimum-are the classically annoying crossword flora and fauna. We hate to include them, but sometimes there's no choice; and anyway, without a wildebeest or a yak here and there, could we really call it a puzzle?

58

PUZZLE 1 4 W^ CC4,fI0 . - . v . . . -0. - ,Go% . . 4%W - . I*-t. Wzft C

Strunk and White, in their classic manual, advised writers to be concise and direct-advice much unheeded at present. Indeed, complexity is the fashion today. To discover who has best mastered this new element of style, solve the clues as you normally would and enter their answers in the diagram. The seven unclued answers may then lead you-if you translate them properly-to the name of a leading American stylist; we've given you one letter, R, for free. (Solution, page 150)

7 Peels back vale of Morpheus (5) 10 Fend off return of leper (5) 13 Japanese drama about a drunken sailor (4) 15 Ingredient of brioche in Brazil (3) 17 Cosima misconceived of a founder of Judaism (6) 18 Enter unwelcomely, untried, untrue (7) 21 Animal found with vehicle in rug (3) 22 Pioneer admits particular charge (3) 23 Mexican misses improper assertion (9) 27 Nazi group infiltrates Abraham's homeit's big and red (4) 29 Crate addressed "J.S. and C.PE.," for example (3) 34 Much inclined to prepare tea (5) 36 Lunatic avails himself of mouthwash? (6) 39 Louse box of cookies up (3) 40 Crazy Little Tuesday is member of western tribe (3) 41 Bad sort-i.e., right wingers (6) 42 Herb left quickly in exploding cigar (6) 43 Shudders internally for milk producer (5) 45 Major arteries in India or Tasmania (6) 49 Trunk, roots ripped apart (5) 50 Smaller type of upper class (5)

1 Mistakenly impart location of secret deployment (6) Sign of summer trouble: "Ole!" (3) Downs' partners' delivery service (3) Fitting room for crepe de chine (5) Have bunion shaved for wedding (5) He made a doctrine regarding eggs after start of week (6) 7 Australian spoiled party in Rome (10) 8 Spews forth purest folly (6) 9 They mix pesto-and presto! (5) 11 Disease Diane contained, moderated (5) 12 Pitcher spouts "Slip Sliding Away" (4) 14 Evenly charts wee hours (3) 16 Turn aside notions (5) 20 Jet black bovine swallows big apple (4) 24 Where former Vietnamese leader stepped on it? (3,3) 25 Repair damaged weapon (6) 26 Sudden flood-Huron's out of control (6) 27 Police car is, without fail, unfit (4) 28 Frost liked to do it out loud! (4) 30 Bad reproduction of Tenniel is indulgent (7) 31 Haunt Chinese dynasty with inflammatory situation (7) 2 3 4 5 6

N U T C R A C K E R S: Cryptic Crosswords

32 Ultraviolet light bothered Raul like something in throat (6) 33 Painter of Pink Nude revised Sea Mist (7) 34 Sew up uterus after operation (6) 35 Queen Elizabeth eats a piece of corn (3)

R

__

59

38 Returning, I maim dolphin's home (5) 44 Roman gods wallow in Madeira (3) 46 World War II leader loses leadership of Japan as well (3) 47 Put on oxfords, professor (3)

60

!i

PUZZLE

15

atdO/.4

0

T %P/O-%W Sailors are known for their salty speech-but not on this boat. To find out what makes this vessel so special, solve the clues and enter their answers in the diagram as usual. We warn you, however, to watch your tongue: Some answers will not be permitted on board. When you're done, you'll find the name of the boat-and the lake it's sailing-spelled out in the shaded squares. (Solution, page 151)

1 Judge melted rarebit (7) 7 Nosy character fiddled with crayon (6) 12 Current Arab pronouncements (4) 13 Nabokov heroine boards train for UHF receiver (5) 14 Drink concealed in skirt (3) 15 Braggart's foul stogie (6) 17 Go back on Dr. Greene (6) 19 Breathless episodes make paean ridiculous (5) 20 America supports General Electric's applications (6) 22 Vagrant's scat lyric (3) 23 Lit up, Eliot jousts (5) 24 Woman in mask takes beverage from instructor (4) 26 Fine tuner's newfangled triode (6) 27 Letters of Paul rearranged, i.e., spelt (7) 29 Serial murder begins at home here (6) 31 Average grade on Ph.D. examinations creates barriers (6) 32 Picnic-goers are not touching salad, initially (4) 34 California elders said Nixon's secretary was a Commie! (8) 37 Menace sinned against nature (6) 40 Mario ravaged Irish girl (5) 41 Headless African, just dead, makes howl (7) 44 Who provoked another question? (3)

46 Oddly, Smurf joins common people to form Long Island community (7) 47 Defaces military symbol (4) 49 Confusion when blue ox left (5) 51 Aim toward the left to get lost soldier (3) 52 Marilyn Monroe's secret period exploited by ex (8) 53 Queer overdosed suddenly (3) 54 Blend carob, i.e., with oxygen (7) 55 David's song involved palms (5)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 16 18 21 25

Flipper recoiled at cobra (7) Monkey rushes about (6) Mormon gambit is tricky (8) PLO heretic abused eggbeater (10) Lopez's fatherland? (8) Studio inhabitant breaks lease (5) Auto club for soldiers presents tenor (6) Reagan-a girl's name (4) A king among a Moslem secf, a fungus among Japanese (8) Reign over river (5) Stereo's playing Greek figure (7) Clement Attlee exposed fink (6) Where money is kept temporarilyin Anne's crown (6) So Greco danced for a famous miser (7) Possessive female who stops at nothing for sandwich (4)

N U T C R A C K E R S: Cryptic Crosswords

28 Maoist switched religion (6) 29 Dictate, sign business letters (3) 30 Annoying crossword bird bites head off another annoying crossword bird (3) 32 Edited manual for graduate of Smith (6) 33 Woman in distress destroyed medals (6) 35 Old priest sketched sexy part of Psyche, we hear (5) 36 Hunt for Wild Africa's lost copyright (6) 37 German engraver composed ruder letters (5)

61

38 Bob Anderson returned insult to Agnew (5) 39 Castaway's hut (4) 40 Duse's Salome: withholding, backward, syrupy (8) 42 They say Scandinavian luxury is proverbial here! (3) 43 Before I charge for car service (4) 45 What-or who-a horse stops for? (4) 48 No seats reserved in this row (3) 50 The inception of pentameter proved the end of iambic (3)

62

PUZZLE

D A.....,t MI . A-, AV

16

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New Year's would be just the right time to work on this cryptic inspired by Emily Cox and Henry Rathvon of the Atlantic. Solve the clues as you normally would, but be prepared: 13 of them will not fit into the diagram until they have been resolved, in a way. (Solution, page 152)

1 Taxi requirement sounds trite (9) 5 8 10 11 12 14 15 17 19 20 21 22 23 26 28 31 34 35 37 39 41 42 44

Sexpert put out Tudor torch (6,4) Ball girl gets back in bed (3) Remove bride's heart (3) Icky stuff is not all good (3) What brute does to win a woman? (7) Hindu melody played back medium, for culture (4) Nominate "Morning in New England" (4) Break up De Cuellar party, perhaps? (4) Stole material from male fluid (4) Salary fight (4) Article for Time revised (4) Number in the 60s stands without alteration (5,3,5) Rake gets stuck in marsh in Morocco (9) Star tackled aesthetic endeavors (4) Wanton solitude's unbecoming (9) Deserve to speak about vessel (4) Jerry Hall-tyrant, perhaps, or kitchen appliance? (9) Water in the court! (What should I wear?) (8) Cut down machine politician (4) Engineers merit fancy headgear (5) Hot to live in sin below the knee (4) What the tiny person said when called a glutton? (5) Speak before you drink (3)

45 Animal that's horny shows blood factor in love (5) 46 "Bach," opines Queen, "is at heart romantic" (11) 47 Hurry up and prepare chicken (5,1,3) 48 Controversial military presence in crotch (4) 49 Tots say "tool" (4) 50 Fugue has E-minor chord progressions (9)

2 Screw highest two: Make a quarter (7) 3 Custom spoken of by Liz's servant (6-4) 4 Most youthful gents (and you) are mixed up (8) 5 "Catarrh on knee," suggests quack (4) 6 Morose trips for Latin lovers (6) 7 Anesthesia quashes a case of the blues (5) 8 Jean's source is woefully underage (8) 9 Buffalo herds confused for game (12) 10 Uncooked prawn is partly eaten (3) 11 When an ace is this, it makes you frown! (4) 13 Green dictates letter in Greek (3) 16 According to Greeks, Venus has atrophied dreadfully (9) 1 8 Tailors tend to do a bang-up job (4) 21 People in hospital are sore, riled, disoriented (9)

N U T C R A C K E R S:

Cryptic Crosswords

24 Family is taking heart (3) 25 Martin was perhaps the first to run lathe improperly (8) 27 Indian might see Limon dancing (8) 28 Dullard composed epitaph after barely passing (4) 29 Refuse to head impetuous following (5) 30 Transit Authority czar's income (7) 32 Cockeyed drink order? (4) 33 Blessed are those with second-grade opinions! (10)

63

35 Where money comes from to revise Hungerscape (6,5) 36 Impersonate lead in La Boheme and lead in Carmen (5) 38 There's much I like about pepper (5) 39 Talkative bird ruffled many (4) 40 The Enquirerand others do Joplin pieces (4) 43 Hollow stomach (3)

64

PUZZLE

Missi-o111 6 l| mm:E^;

17

A

... . :;.1,i =; 11l a I

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t

Eleven of the clues in this puzzle require you to find a missing link: a word, that is, that connects the meanings of the two words given. These clues may resemble double definitions, but they're quite a bit trickier; the clue SLAVIC-BUFF, for example, would lead you to the answer POLISH. If you solve all these (and the normal clues) correctly, you'll find the final missing links when you're done, spelled out in the shaded squares. (Solution, page 153)

1 Anthony is hurt and cold (4) 6 Kennedy and his administration showed 11 12 13 14 15 17 19

20 21 22 25 26 28 30 31 34 37 38 41 42

up on property (7) Antique is evenly soiled (3) Brave Nora, always holding back (5) LOVE-YAWNING (5) Herpes destroyed planet (6) Transcendentalists chant, in setback for Atlanta arena (4) Cast about for hams (4) Bug dance (3) He receives notice for noodle (4) Part haiku, part Asian (4) Princess's island in Mediterranean is separate (8) Capsized canoers grow tough (7) Top ten rerun broadcast by colorist (6) At first fearless, wise bird becomes chicken (4) SNAKE-SUMMER (5) And the others return late (2,2) Vreeland redesigned floral shade (8) Musical sensitivity begins early (3) Apple containing no male chromosomes causes fit (8) Egad! A reversible saw! (5) PRINCE-DAMPER (7)

45 Woman who gets into habit of saying "zero" (3) 47 Place for African prisoner on leave (5) 48 A famous one was called "the red rice salad" (4) 49 Extraterrestrial arrives at end of June for summer in France (3) 50 Conveyed odor when speaking (4) 51 Stifle cracking bones (6) 52 Can you hear in back of the auditorium? (That's optimistic!) (4) 53 BENEFIT-WINE (4) 54 Witness telepathy on part of yogi (4)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

JEWISH-TILE (6) Oriental poet makes pen for Montblanc (3) Races a mad ruler (6) Aspirant adjusted supporter (8) Feared irrationally: dead and red (7) PEN-APARTMENT (4) How doctor sees male patient-in the buff? (8) 8 HALT-FABRIC (4) 9 I hear Sheriff Andy's son swallowed sedative (6)

N U T C R A C K E R S: Cryptic Crosswords

10 SHEPHERD-CURRENCY (6) 16 What to call Ellington-that's an enigma! (7) 18 What arrangement has been made for end of Ice Age? (4) 21 To love excessively (3) 23 How to arrange cards at end of book? (5) 24 DOORS-CHARMS (9) 27 Don't go by the book-dare to be wild! (4) 28 SMOOTHER-FAWN (7) 29 Rare disease the French find common (7) 32 EMINENT-MONTH (6)

65

33 Alien packs a Whopper (3) 35 Very old sorbets-they're found in throats (6) 36 Condescends to speak of Europeans (6) 39 Philosopher at home in Mideast organization (5) 40 Ways planes take off quietly (5) 41 A lake where birds nest (5) 43 Romans, Mark: Old Testament in North America (4) 44 Bother to convert lire (4) 46 Curious reorganization of Sony (4)

66

PUZZLE 1 8

Old Math

me

Set theory, Venn diagrams, the commutative principle-who needs them? We'll stick with the old math, and so will you. Answer the clues as you normally would, solving equations where necessary. When you're done, you'll discover a relevant old-math problem spelled out in the shaded squares-and you'll find its answer at 10 Down. (Solution, page 154)

2 6 11 12 13 15 17 19 21 22 24 25 27 28 29 31 34 35 37 38 39 42 46 47

Bone up on Linda, oddly (4) Tortured, rash writer will make point (7) Perfumed and 54 + 499 (8) Brinker leaves hooligans skating in cold place (5) Scene that is set inside bug (4) Encourage revolution in Teheran (7) S&M involves the "French bang" (4) 500 + 999 nuclear explosion (7) Top military in unconscious states-they give one pause (6) Capsize! Soup herb overturned! (4) Attack [thus]? (3) Small map of the chic group? (5) Heavenly sounds . . . like that! (7) Put hose around more than one of them (5) Darn! Star Wars! (4) Ordinary, unnamed calamity (7) Note retroflex collar (4) Crack acorns tonight, man (6) Medium changes name (4) "Born in France" is what the horse says! (3) 549 + 50 jam (6) Guy's partner blows 51 + 500 off hanger? (7) A defeated sound (3) New York bigwig loses head for fellow Italian (4)

48 50 51 52

Retry shredded fabric (5) 104 + 49 unrest-desecration! (I 1) Upset, she hangs around a king (5) Utterly exhaust relative despot (6)

1 Virgin Islands and Virginia City put 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 14 16 18 19 20 22 23 26

together show of 6 + 1,000 (8) Complete agreement to bust unions (6) Speakers were familiar with novel (3) 5 + 4 + 499 and cartoonlike (8) As high as cinder (3) Observed semen without male component (4) Stuffy serials revised (7) Requests colonist to be 1,049 + 500 (8) One: terrible age (3) See introduction (9) Train Frenchman to make tree (3) Frequent flier card (3) After morning, compass points toward Iowa City (4) Addict rues abuse (4) Drummer suffers groin injury (5) Men who wear white in Auckland (4) Compare plant that grows on rock to ear (5) Crusoe shipwrecked at head of river (6)

N U T C R A C K E R S: Cryptic Crosswords

30 32 33 36 38 39 40

Inside canteen is good place for ball (3) Tired, hack cinema (6) Meager attempt to follow friend (6) Shut out smelly animal (5) Neither partner is backing Reagan (3) Captives Mia's often seen with? (4) Weak chin, incomplete foot (4)

67

41 Get rid of noisy toilets (4) 42 Rabid dogs like Zeus and Apollo (4)

43 Endorse assembly of Lincoln car model (4) 44 Norman king (4) 45 Bird we confused with nurse (4) 49 No Russian is headless-so far (3)

68

PUZZLE

19

Spin Art

&Q&& V W %V

It doesn't matter how you look at art these days-every end is up. The same goes for the cryptic puzzle in question. Solve the clues as you normally would, but be warned: Though all letters in any one word face the same direction, different words go different ways. For each new word, any side of the diagram may therefore be the top. When you're done, the name of an appropriately revolutionary artist will appear where it belongs. (Solution, page 155)

1 2 3 4 5 5 6 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 21 22

King ruins speech (3) Break cold spell (4) Duo suffered most woe (7) Rule out attraction (4) Underground tailor? (5) Addition to letter recalls fires (5) Winkler's failure on Costa-Gavras film (4) Bubbles found in gym class with Ed? (4) Snake that Spanish explorer cut in half (3) French lovers speak little nothings to clowns (5) Be obliged to gasp aloud (3) I? Nervous? Mad notion! (8) Every ache, foot to head (4) Hispanic style-an old-hat combination (7) Who is disturbed? In what way? (3) Well, Nellie for instance! (4) Look around you for bandage (5) Bea shot Lincoln (3) Mrs. King starts civil rights organization (4) Annie, for instance, or Phantom, is endless (6) Write name as Leo, for example (4) Moonshine discovered in choo-choo (5) Father Time's way of saying bull (4) Spanish kind of cafe? (3) Half of Leona's last steering wheel (4)

23 Corporation is adding small charge for cut (8) 23 Private lodging atop emergency room (5) 24 Posed series of questions to college applicants (3) 25 I sang "O, Ruined City" (6) 26 Objectively, we returned Gary's sweet (6) 27 Rabid wolves make sounds like aouie! (6) 28 Confronted Sanka that's been sent back (5) 29 Work out speech: "Get the devil out of here!" (8) 30 Stain left in Studio 54, for instance, or... .(8) 31 . . . Georgia's flatulence (3) 32 Appropriate party's beginning to creep along (5) 33 Headless fabulist returned gesture (4) 33 Pope confused the French citizenry (6) 34 It comes back around chopper to maneuver on runway (4) 35 Murder-a lot of noise about nothing (2,2) 36 Sort of victory for women's group (6) 37 Mother takes time returning Emerald City flatbread (5) 38 Boy recants denials (3) 39 Mr. Addams is in seventh row, 0, mezzanine section (5)

N U T C R A C K E R S: Cryptic Crosswords

69

40 Live, topless, male chauvinist pig (5) 41 Poles seep and sleep (6) 42 Desert outpost is nothing in its current condition (5) 43 Mad exodus after tiger head-and tails (7) 44 Greek god came back to make canal (4) 45 Redesign routes for evacuation (6) 46 What sardonic he-men pump? (5) 47 Clients fit pattern (7) 48 Odd rendition of "Tonite" is explosive (3) 49 Yet another annoying crossword bird eaten by lemur (3)

50 60 Minutes does "Muslim virgin" segment (4) 51 Worsen arrangement for titleholders ... (6) 52 ... On East 1st (3) 53 Attempt street affair (5) 54 Some people in Haiti clap about four-egg omelet made with dash of salt (7) 54 Kind of surcharge for tub (3) 55 Stop New York team's comeback (4) 55 Sly played Kate, we hear (6) 56 Mess of stew left on map (4)

70

PUZZLE 20

Shrinking

&Y&'f

It's August and our analyst has been on vacation for several weeks. May we talk to you instead? May we lie down on your couch and say whatever comes into our mind, no matter how obscene or absurd it may be? May we spill our tortured guts out? Why thank you. Solve the clues as you normally would-though numbers have been omitted, as befits our stream-of-consciousness monologue-then enter your answers in the diagram. But please, Dr. Puzzler, analyze them first or they won't fit in. Then when you're done, you'll be able to make out an appropriate prescription in the shaded squares. (Solution, page 156)

Strange dreams: Mother's in Spain . .. insane! Turning reddish brown . .. A right old framework .. . rustled about for pastry ... Stick me in Penny . .. Meander aimlessly, having chosen a new id . . . Delia's crazy-that's perfect! ... Oh, Death: ravaged, ill-tempered brute ... records attempt to make a hanging ... Girl involved in barbaric rite . . . about black French painter ... to aim for snake with anger ... Saying in period of time after the year 1 ... Often does poorly with ribbons and bows ... Pear-shaped crime ... Woman's woman is protected by Jules Bianca ... Contend flu's going around. Right? . . . Woman has victory with proposed amendment ... Peck at reconstituted food container . .. The universe's spelling champ . .. (she's it-a term whose hidden meaning is "slow down") ... crashed sedan into mountains ... (None that got married were in debt) .. . Seder re-created at site of Moses' discovery . . . Train that is crashing caused paralysis ... To have supper around a girl ... before getting wound up is mere ostentation ... Key is to be third person

permitted ... South London gardens are distorted . .. I nose about for unpleasant "aural" stimulation ... Keep together company in this place . .. Siren flashing-douse with water. . . Forks out? South is uncertain .. . Rolling Stones' beginnings . . . what remains is sleep ... Doctor, teach me to make a knife . .. A little room or education can be defended . .. This is craziness! Detain me forcibly . . . (preferably with an anchor) . .. Terrible greatness is alienating ... Start golf game in South Dakota mount ... One grows flowers . .. Bare dune buggy ... Grenadine, when drunk, is charming . . . Kind of cat mews . . . dismantles International Coalition of Female Deer ... maligns broken Ramses . .. (Dad went camping, "protected") ... Mammal is Spanish for "aplomb" ... Mussolini, wearing red, appeared to get thinner . .. He who flings arrows is more sarcastic . .. Mutant genitals-they're semiliquid! ... Read o as ee in "watering

N U T C R A C K E R S: Cryptic Crosswords

71

holes" . . . Listen! Listen to First Lady's fall!

Raises Kane; was disoriented ... later reviewed On Your Toes ... Dissuades fellow from detergents . . . Latest assemblage: North by Eastwest ... writes prisons ...

...

Pinter is awfully fresh .

.

. Infernal lover

whacked at cereal ... They're Homo sapiens, stupid! . . . He skins defective dumplings ...

72

PUZZLE

21

Rule Britannia The English have such a way with words-crosswords especially. Their puzzles, found in the Listener, the Times of London, and other publications, differ from the American variety, as this Nutcracker demonstrates. British clues are usually longer and more contorted than their Colonial counterparts, and they often make internal reference to one another; to make matters worse, their answers have fewer crossing letters in the diagram to "check" them. On the other hand, there aren't as many clues per puzzle-and the diagram, for all you obsessive-compulsive types, is symmetrical. How lovely! We've followed the "Rule Britannia" here-omitting annoying references to cricket and the Raj-while adding something fitting at 1 Down and 7 Down. (Solution, page 157)

1 Fellow with acrid sense of humor? (7) 5 Take off your clothing for short southern vacation (5) 8 What Pavarotti says when he's finishing his cake? (5) 9 Asian converted Belgian (7) 10 Indian tribe infiltrated by Mr. Damone offering crack (7) 11 Prison without a top story (5) 12 To stop the blood he put on a dress (6) 14 Carson fiddled with nuts (6) 17 Flower-when 7 Down's got it, it's a catastrophe (5) 19 Ripped up fancy threads (7) 21 Gallery reorganized, for the most part (7) 22 Bellini heroine-and not mother (5) 23 Hurricane named for saint or Frenchman (5) 24 Herb said Madame Bovary must make a difficult choice (7)

1 See introduction 2 Innocent returns from French spa town (5) 3 (With 15 Down) Where you might see 1 Down and 7 Down crawling-the BBC? (7,7) 4 Medical delivery system developed for bloody battle (7) 5 Man who brings gifts made from insect in South America (5) 6 Person who sells homes on genuine rock pinnacle (7) 7 See introduction 13 New York neighbor delivers bizarre oration (7) 15 See 3 Down 16 Remained prim-sounding (6) 18 He's in the drink-that's a dishonorable discharge! (5) 20 Marsha remembers hiding place for many women (5)

N U T C R A C K E R S:

Cryptic Crosswords

73

74

PUZZLE

22

Misi I Lta .

.

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dzd&

y

-

What's odd about this puzzle is that the answers to twenty of the clues will not fit into the diagram until one letter has been added to each of them, thus forming a new word. Which clues these are, and why they require alteration, you'll have to discern for yourself. If you circle the extra letters as you insert them, however, you'll discover the principle behind the enterprise-and the name of an anthem for misfits everywhere. (Solution, page 158) 1 Total hearing is an uncertain amount 4 Famous bitch caused commotion in aisles 10 Bad loans for boutique 11 Sounds like Gigi's drowning in saucehow damp! 13 Plot race riot 15 Polo played in Chicago district 16 Product attained from battle with English crown 17 Bean I am condensing in Los Angeles 20 The first man inside me turned out to be-a lady! 21 Here in France it's no good finishing cake 22 Returns the German cherry 23 Tiny part in endless play 24 Bum found piece of timber at bottom of ocean 26 Propel Verdi composition 30 Frets for months about gym class 33 Seductress of people like Ford and lacocca? 35 Pratfalls on playing field 37 Finicky tailor is spry 38 Move, please-pass by 39 Leapt recklessly for coat with metal 42 Victory is a requirement for entrance Caterer failed to put things back in boxes 45 Half-and-half epidemic

46 47 48 49

Leading retailer consults prophets Different genres of vegetables See space-crazed fugitives! Only men are allowed onstage without one

1 Early Kansas returns have Muskie barely showing 2 In Massachusetts, Onassis finds his lover! 3 Comfort taken in very fine needlework 5 Sondheim, on amphetamines, recalled aimless state 6 Spot Ed's chewing gum 7 State result of investigation of radio waves 8 Goes along with grease monkeys 9 Try escaping prison-no alternative 11 Spring faux pas 12 Door shut around me in special cell for sex 14 Wine cartel in disarray 18 Egotistical opera heroines? 19 Weep outside, giggle inside-how delightful! 22 Discuss accusation 24 Turned up nose at Queens ironworkers 25 Traveling in pairs-it helps cure headaches 27 Liar retracted part of fence

N U T C R A C K E R S: Cryptic Crosswords

28 Averts troublemaking, comparatively huge ... 29 ...

Guys in Armenia

31 Desires 500 bundles of paper 32 Boxes for ship parts 34 Short path from north to south parts of churches

75

36 39 40 41

A 157/2-degree temperature-plus! Makes water flow backward Second person to be a part of space Chanel No. 5-applied liberallysounds like it offers peace of mind ... 43 ... No. 15 (usually) is side-splitting!

76

PUZZLE f1

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The answers to ten of the clues in this puzzle need altering before they will fit into the diagram. To do this properly, you will require the services of a good general contractor. Who that is we leave for you to determine-but when you're done, the contractor's name will appear on a diagonal. (Solution, page 159)

1 3 8 12

Furnish a small room (3) Two firms like chocolate drinks (6) Try returning bats (4) Went into hock after South was conceived (7) 14 In the morning, he makes a peremptory noise (4) 15 Stop sounds of misery (3) 17 Lot's turning around and is missing (4) 18 Wasn't able to return from exile (4) 19 Without air-conditioning, varnish will form coat (5) 21 Healthy source of water (4) 23 British nobles heard in French town (5) 24 Is in debt among the lowest (4) 27 Put down loud flower arrangement (3) 29 Prevent doctor taking summer in France (5) 31 Honor a dependent (5) 33 Double your money! (It sounds birdbrained) (4) 34 Underworld greeting gets cut off (4) 35 Chopper with piece of lightning rod (4) 36 Greeks end home-game giveaways (5) 37 Minced tarragon is overbearing (8) 40 Soldier gets into deeper trouble over family tree (8) 42 Finished playing oldie (5) 45 Was the victor on time for practice? (4) 48 Lean, tendentious argument (4)

49 Ten get mixed up with crazy Hindu escapist (7) 51 How priests convert an orangeand where? (6) 53 Duane screwed poet (5) 54 Salty the Pretzel is sly (8) 55 Horse sorted letters (7) 56 Professor took in present (6)

1 Doctor has a butt (3) 2 Writer for Redbook? (3) 4 Where the 15th prisoner is kept with a string? (5) 5 Get too high-or stink (4) 6 Romans were offered solution (6) 7 Fill mysterious East (4) 8 Drop-off shelter (4) 9 Inform man who made romantic overture (4) 10 Walker's marble busts (6) 11 Cups of unfinished bran (3) 13 Married at midweek-quickly (3) 15 Whore undone by what person? (3) 16 Other trains go east (4) 19 Sid, around 50, is used to Coast (4) 20 Do deer become debased? (6) 22 Bet I'd order a spritzer (5) 25 Used to be the sound of a helicopter (4) 26 South American bird's watering hole (6)

N U T C R A C K E R S: Cryptic Crosswords

27 28 29 30 32

Former senator sounds unseasoned (6) Eternal city has nothing for lover (5) Do good for boxer (3) RIPs for Waters (5) 40 percent cut in wages for witty commentator (3) 34 Shrew starts to negotiate a deal (3) 38 Gathered that mimic was at it again? (6) 39 Fisherman's tool that isn't gross (3)

77

41 43 44 45 46 47 48 50 52

Important paper drive (2) Run down diminished state (3) Tax job (4) Terrible thaw Huh? (4) Olympia, for instance, reviewed Dune (4) Dye I put in dynamite (4) Make reference to French metropolis (4) The queen's possessive in court (3) School group is apt to falter (3)

78

PUZZLE 24

Letterheads

At

We are in receipt of messages on fancy stationery that say our cryptics are confusing. Well, exactly. And here's one to provoke more mail. Twenty of the clues in this puzzle are missing their addresses; it's up to you to determine where in the diagram the answers to these "lost letters" belong. (Solution, page 160)

1 3 6 9 11 12 13 14 16 19 22 23 24 26 27 28 31 33

34 35 36 38 39 40 41

Embarrass one party (5) Build revolution in Crete (5) Ted wasted summertime in New York (3) Piece of Wood's diary (3) Injures ears with some frequency (5) German automobile has no sound (5) Cancel middle part of Gabor tour (5) Completely exhausted, won right to enter (4) Eat bad English meal (3) Soldiers remove leg hair, we hear (4) Man has excellent average (4) Assure victory over pain (5) Feed Harry when the train leaves (3) Possessive, sour drunk (4) Stir-fry-i.e., hot (5) Duke's path leads to Northeast (5) Misprints blood groups? (5) Following arithmetic result . .. (9) ... Peon waves to audience (4) Crest reversed decay (3) Scramble up an average branch (5) Loudly advocate for the lowest of the low (5) Strengthen Armstrong, for instance? (6) Smell of perspiration on a scarf (3) A cat's tiniest parts (5)

1 He was formerly Clay (as pseudonym) (5) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 10 15 17 18 19 20 21 25 29 30 32 35 37 38 40

Search for short actress (4) Merge interior work unit (3) Oil company once said, "So?" (4) Kind of PET scan? (3) Cut "turn in tide" (4) Eat tiny fish tail (4) Goat's disgusting old clothes (5) Store ruined; ergo, cry (7) Suggestive of marathon? (4) Big Bird wrote first letter in English and letter in Greek (3) Make deduction for wearing mink to hearing (5) Sausage is most awful in the mouth (5) Shy Carl is rearranging stage for Butterflies (9) State what's inside curio wagon (4) Eyes unopened-okay? (3) A measurement is about to happen (5) Curse brought back mad head of nation (4) Star hunter runs on about Rio (5) Demonstrative-with attorney around (4) Whip is quiet after City of Angels (4) Dr. No at Western Union, perhaps (4) Idiot stopped making frightening remark (3)

N U T C R A C K E R S:

? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

Cryptic Crosswords

Part-Spanish uncle in Kurosawa film (6) Be a man-smile! (4) Notices peculiar piece of grapefruit (7) Part of wood spoon (4) Smooch more, playing part of Gene (10) How to fix Goldfiingre, for instance? (5) "Land Ho!" all right (4) Southern trumpeter's garment (5) Place for boxer's lopsided grin (4) Hamlet won't dance ... (4)

79

... Switch on Seagull broadcast (4) Cable street gang (6) Set up Little Richard in Fame . .. (5) . . . or top grosser Platoon (5) Pitfall for O'Neill (3) Organized news service in shed (6) "He digs," says kid (5) Alternate parts of treaty line (3) Headless lady suffered 24-hour period (3) Bob has man inside to make mushrooms (4)

80

PUZZLE

25

Our Miss Brooke

in

Get out your erasers, class: The answers to most of the clues in this puzzle will not fit into the diagram until something has been removed from them. To find out what that something is, please consult the title of the classic novel spelled out for your convenience at 31 Across. (Solution, page 161)

1 6 12 13 14 15 16 18 20 23 24 26 28 31 35 37 39 41 43 44 46 47 48

Reunite parts of the womb (7) Make bet for Old Maid (7) Dustin played Lady Godiva, for one (6) Boomerang sounds like the invention of Irishman! (8) Most risque, energy-less bigoted . . (6) ... Show-offs have twice the sexual desire (8) Expert's rumpled trench coat (10) Fragrant chemical found in Persian queen's ears (5) Alien has a bite (3) Cuts Satanic Verses (6) Drug information (4) Wiped out by Red Sea typhoon (6) Hang out baguette among others (4) See introduction Stare rudely at counterweights (5) Tinseltown thug built shallow pool (6) Mercy, Doctor! (4) A number of insects are paying residents (7) Fabricate unfinished song in German (3) Long Island's top-ranked child formed a sexual attachment (7) Mailer's novel style? (7) Citrus pulp caused gaping grin (6) Trainer dipped me in sticky stuff (5)

50 Turmoil in vast Iranian sanctuary (4) 51 Condemns PLO involvement in bizarre Passover ritual (8) 52 Spoke in rhythm, out loud, transfixed (4) 53 Recording sounds somewhat shoddy (5) 54 Illustrate again what abraded skin looks like (6) 55 Ninety-eight in the (enveloping) shade

(4) 1 Jimmy Durante was not reviewed by the Motion Picture Board (7) 2 End of fighting over cruet (5) 3 Cited Raging Bull (5) 4 What Joyce was when flower got hot (5) 5 Those ludicrous common sentiments (5) 6 Eco dies incontinent. See? (7) 7 Eighth avocet exploded (6) 8 Beat wool fabric (7) 9 Hurt air conditioner he's put together (5) 10 Shadow government greeter (5) 11 Stifle fit-it's reflexive (6) 17 Annoys Stallone without cause (10) 19 To cheer for holy book (5) 21 Smelly robot archer? (8) 22 Was sorry for sounding inconsiderate (4) 25 Pierre kept date in apartment (4-1-5)

N U T C R A C K E R S: CryptlcCrosswords

27 29 30 32 33

King Lana is deposed (4) No copper on the roster for eye doctor (7) Engineers earliest attics (8) Grieve aloud for Dawn (4) Scrap of food caught in recovery program vessel (5) 34 Pasteur, for instance, in revolutionary fog (7)

81

36 Cause trouble hanging from the saddle? (7) 38 Allowed Dragnet to be recast (7) 40 Opera star in transit mishap (7) 42 Retired monkey with pelts (5) 45 Hoboes, when exposed, make wind (4) 46 Raises asses (5) 49 Mama's mouth (3)

82

PUZZLE 26

Follow the Leader

&0&& IV VW %V

Nutcrackers always require you to follow directions carefully, but it's never been more important than in the puzzle at hand. In fact, it's best if you already know exactly where you're headed before you start filling in the diagram. Then, when you're done, you might be able to guess the names of the four people spelled out incompletely along the shaded periphery-people who could have led you in the right direction all along. (Solution, page 162)

Ed= 1 Crossword bird drops piece of excrement on nurse (3) 2 Peels head off fishes (4) 3 Seen around: five or more? (5) 4 Mongrel Danes carried chair (5) 4 Encouraged to say leather (6) 5 Fred's wife is a member of Beth Elohim (5) 6 General Electric leaves south of Israel in hurried state (3) 7 Revolutionary that won something or other (7) 8 Roe is encouraging (4) 9 Mrs. Lennon comes after head of NBC for error (2-2) 10 Delete a in Gaelic (5) 11 Nasser sprung traps (6) 12 Cut off river for nothing (3) 13 Swirling around Sullivan before passing away (7) 14 Six Spanish trucks are robbed of a little money (4) 14 Habit for prisoners: persistin rebellion (7) 15 Chocolatier born around St. Louis airport (6) 16 Guards rooms where battles are planned? (7) 17 Nothing bad doesn't end (6) 18 Woman in white interpreted runes (5) 19 Made up cheese in Holland (4)

20 She loves getting rid of a hole in the library (7) 20 Disconnect phone finally-that's strict (6) 21 Erica has love for Beethoven's Third (6) 22 Tiny and mischievous, the King gets high (6) 23 Nazis swallow hair-replacement drinks (5) 23 Use a newspaper to disclose a name for Scot (4) 24 Prince's Miser savaged (5) 25 Storm-tossed whores (6) 26 Something to fight with-like shit perhaps? (5) 27 Roger's resolution (4) 28 Looked at chestnut (3) 29 Slug found in poisonous water (4) 30 State of agitation isn't changing (4) 31 Cheap cries for bulls swallowed by Orca (9) 32 All points bulletin! (4) 33 Skip over "Deli Delight" including ... (5) 34 . . . Hounds and horses (4) 34 What 10 made back after deductions? (3) 35 Crazy Greek letter Eliot put together (4) 36 Snoops around organs (5) 36 Paper joined novel race (9) 37 Sailor refuses to make sound for doctor! (4)

N U T C R A C K E R S:

Cryptic Crosswords

83

84

PUZZLE 27

Triskaidekaphobia

66464& IV IV

%V

Don't be afraid of this puzzle's title-triskaidekaphobia isn't so much a disease as a tic. It means fear of the number 13-like not including 13th floors in high rises, or avoiding your Bar Mitzvah. Or, in the case of the British-style puzzle below, worrying whether you can solve the four clues whose answers run the length of the diagram. (For a note about British-style puzzles, please see "Rule Britannia" on page 72.) (Solution, page 163)

7 Impure elements disturbed baseball's ruling body (6) 8 Two manages a trois get together for fornication just before New Year's in Vietnam (6) 9 Unspoken tensions are less than what dogs off the street pay for lodging (13) 10 Make a beeline to see the ruins of Athens (6) 11 Scornfully overwhelm clever humorist on That Girl (6) 12 Gone back-around two grand for Christmas cheer? (6) 15 Getting straight to the point: Your credit is bad (6) 17 Anti-abortion status is increasing by leaps and bounds (13) 18 Serious boyfriend could provide the money-but no, no (6) 19 Heroine of tragic, romantic love made arrangement of oldies (6)

1 She's in The Glass Menagerie-and in a doctors' organization (6) 2 Princess forced to go hunting for fishthat's putting things straight! (13) 3 Fagin's advice to Oliver is like a light shining from a hill (6) 4 Cowers miserably in custody until certain conditions are met (6) 5 Anticipate long, impassioned speechand lots of spit (13) 6 Have a look at the conjoint bubble (6) 13 Lily's relative had fifth of scotch after spilling contents of grail (6) 14 Innately well endowed? Fidget nervously (6) 15 Certain female descendants of early Americans are victorious in brief against evolutionist (6) 16 Is a government prosecutor capable of making a good neighbor for us? (6)

N U T C R A C K E R S:

Cryptic Crosswords

85

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I

3

2

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LABYRINTHS;X KING MINOS OF CRETE demanded from Athens a yearly sacrifice of seven maidens and seven youths. These he fed to the horrible Minotaur, who lived inside a labyrinth devised by the crafty Daedalus. From Daedalus we get a ten-cent term for wordplaylogodaedaly;from the Cretan labyrinth we get the the exasperating Nutcracker puzzles that follow. Fittingly, our Labyrinths are made up of letters-letters you yourself provide by solving the clues that accompany each puzzle. The numbered clues are noncryptic; that is, they're much the same as in an ordinary crossword. Enter their answers horizontally. To check them, there are four additional clues; these are all puns of a groanworthy variety. Enter their answers vertically. Having thus filled in the diagram by solving the clues, you must now enter the maze, tracing a path from the opening in the outer wall to the opening shown at the center. Your path will of course be made up of letters. Move directly forward or turn at right angles, but do not cross back through boxes already passed or go through any of the heavy black lines. (As you get to know the way the Labyrinths are constructed, you'll discover certain tricks you can use, such as working backward from the center, or negotiating the narrows at the top and bottom, where choices are fewer and thus easier to make.) If no intelligible path can be found even then, however, you may have to revise some of your answers-or stay lost in the Labyrinth forever. If you do make it through to the center of the maze, your path will spell out, box by box, letter by letter, a kind of riddle composed of ordinary English words-a riddle whose answer has something to do with the picture in the center and something to do with the puzzle's title, too. Your job is to solve that riddle, which will always be in the form of this example: Up-and-down string player who was a real mother of invention. String player? Mother of invention? Who could we mean but Yo-Yo Ma? It was Theseus, attempting to kill the Minotaur, who mastered the Cretan labyrinth; he unraveled a clew of string as he made his way in so he could make his way out when he finished the job. (Hence the word clue.) Will you be a latter-day Theseus and master the cretin Labyrinths that follow? Watch out for the Minotaur-like us, he's half bull.

88

PUZZLE

28

Ad

Woodworker

If you're good at a trade, you can ply it for years-as the person lost in this (Solution, page 163) Labyrinth knows.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Red alerts She's lazy on the table Turkish metropolis Raised train Garden sprayer Big man in Araby Ship's brake Uninvited picnic guest 9 Rather's business 10 Cleopatra's killer 11 Contraceptive device 12 Impolite 13 Wood chopper 14 Units of tennis 15 Main courses 16 Sally Bowles's arena 17 Keats opus 18 Hair division 19 Make into law 20 Nurse's degree 21 That is, for short 22 Merman vehicle 23 Commercials

24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38

Ebb, neap, or flow B&O, for instance Between gee and eye British backside Felix or Morris Historical period Sign gas Baby napkin Faithful Hairless Speak indistinctly Star Trek captain Put animal behind bars Copernicus and Kepler Number of brothers' brides

A Egyptian city with a big mouth? B Past Beatles songs? C Kind of applause for singing in a shower? D Emphasize movie music?

N U T C R A C K E R S:

Labyrinths

89

F-

IIF 6-

18

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24 3.

Y3-

35

32 36-

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90

PUZZLE

29

Dirty Work

WV

Creative endeavors can be just as grueling as manual labor, as the laborer lost in this (Solution, page 164) Labyrinth might have argued.

1 Perform a part 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22

Novel name Famous Kansas dog Beneficiary Money on hand Chip's origin Polishes nails Scotch boys Andretti, for one Pollution problem Tap alternative Tap alternative Washington's bill Egg concoctions "Once in Love with" gal Tempt the appetite Unfair! Timid Frat beverage Hallucinogen Uneven! No women allowed

23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38

Ma Bell, initially Fill a trunk Nonkosher food Top of any suit Field in Chicago Mustachioed Marx Cotton-pickin' invention Two cups Jean-Paul's topper Join the Army Jacob, to Isaac Funnies Continent Felix's nemesis New York borough Celerity

A B C D

Naval singing group? Canine pains? Cold-weather exercises? Old age-smells like French river?

N U T C R A C K E R S:

Labyrinths

91

-

11

I

I

I I

I

11

I

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28-

35

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92

PUZZLE

30

American Standard

At

Indoor plumbing, aluminum cans-the person stuck in this Labyrinth embodied the easy life we once dreamed of leading. (Solution, page 164)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Anti anti Cotton, Orange, or Rose Guacamole ingredients Spud state Column style Great Lake Pure, virginal So be it 9 Prince of Darkness 10 Diary 11 Neglected 12 Opens up, like a mystery 13 Jewish towns in Europe 14 Phones number again 15 Pacific body? 16 Actress Raquel 17 Religious little tramp?

18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28

Kindle again "Sweet" comeuppance Gymnast, tumbler Lawlessness The of Our Teeth Weight-loss regimen Barbie, for one Line portions Beatty bomb Oklahoma city Bordello

A B C D

Hooligans with razor burn? FDR's seat of power? British rock stars? Means of auto-illumination?

N U T C R A C K E R S:

5-

13 15 28

127 26-

Labyrinths

93

94

PUZZLE

31

Grim Reaper

&C&&

For some people-like the person lost in this Labyrinth-life is a grim business indeed. (Solution, page 164)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Sugar dosage Full range of color Gratuities Earth's nearest neighbor Piano keys French pastry Item in Glass Menagerie Imitate a primate? 9 Cow baby 10 Like a zebra 11 Lahr or Lance 12 Jailbird 13 American uncle 14 Mama's man 15 Mine products 16 Squid excrescence 17 Madame Bovary 18 Wrath 19 They try harder 20 Needlefish that sounds like Teri? 21 Bead of moisture on grass

22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34

Usher author Cared not a " _ a boy!" Couples, pairs Fruit sugar Spell, jinx Crusoe author Hippie's apartment Musical about Per6n Masticate Philharmonic society "She loves me" counter Shrink's vacation

A It has five feet and no toes? B Treats with asbestos-get rid of evidence? C Highly electric African country? D Chopin dances with dressing made from bee by-product?

N U T C R A C K E R S : Labyrinths

-I I0

95

I

I

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11

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96

PUZZLE

32

Man of Letters

&4&& W W %V

These days, literary lions like the one in this Labyrinth prefer to see themselves as stallions. (Solution, page 165)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

What McCarthy saw? __ and blood Goodman's instrument Old Glory, for instance De Cuellar's organization Mar follower Hawaiian feasts New York borough 9 Cowboy's rope 10 Albany bigwig 11 Former spouse 12 Supposed Irish gift 13 Yugoslavian dictator 14 Tiny colonist 15 Hockey requirement 16 Hen product 17 Hurting, as muscles 18 Here in France 19 Car, for short 20 Stravinsky to friends 21 Pan partner 22 Half of New York prison 23 Attempt

24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

Where Johnny sits? Nancy Reagan buzzword Maison or Barker Loathe Gratis The way some like it? Book of maps Opposite of SE When the sun shines Florentine banking family Bush's is white Streaks of lightning '60s-style marriage Madison or Meyer Board game Diego, Francisco, or Juan We're in the 20th

A B C D

Makes a good pronouncement? Scientifically circuitous? Make Mt. Molehill? Star Search personality?

N U T C R A C K E R S :

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I

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15

18

19 23

32

30-

Labyrinths

97

98

PUZZLE 33

Hostage

&c&& W W %V

Sometimes a jail has no bars, as the prisoner in this Labyrinth learned too well. (Solution, page 165)

1 Headrest 2 Swore, cast a spell 3 Person with pants on fire 4 Kissing pair? 5 Alum 6 Part of speech 7 __ of iniquity 8 Kind of belly 9 Adore a patriot? 10 Section of curve _ Side" 11 "Walk on the _ 12 Winter stalactites 13 Defense pact 14 Swine, Asian, or intestinal 15 Detective Charlie 16 Play division 17 Bodybuilder's compound 18 Kander's partner _ ,me worry?" 19 "_ 20 Auction offer 21 Fairy's implement 22 Hysterical, moblike

23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37

Promissory note Gluttons, livestock We in America? Scars from beatings Perky Mouseketeer Dull sound Vinegar partner Coif Night biter? Numerical hiring goals Baum's land Battle to remember Embarrassing elder statesman Trimmed a little, as hair Last word in movies

A B C D

Crazy, like pi? General who's a beefcake? Sly clergyman-or his superior? ForesightSaga virtue?

N U T C R A C K E R S : Labyrinths

99

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23

24

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100

PUZZLE

34

At

Fifth Anniversary

A simple present is often best, as the donor stuck in this Labyrinth seems to be (Solution, page 165) telling us.

1 Respiratory ailment 2 "______ auld acquaintance 3 The V in VA 4 Commercial iron 5 Dog or army food 6 Finger or number 7 Balloon gas 8 Japanese poem

.

9 Initials with Post 10 Fall on the head? 11 Cast a ballot 12 Opera number 13 Neither's partner 14 Wander, like a hobo or continent 15 Prescription 16 Like some library books 17 Pig paradise 18 Aluminum 19 Buddy, chum 20 Improper isn't 21 Confederate soldier 22 Recently deceased

23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37

Octagonal sign Dined, lunched The old you Savage breast soother It's one past five Chic Italian farewell Rorschach item Canine or incisor Hose material Uninterrupted flight Subway alternative Cherub or seraph Penguin suit Deposed Iranian Bottomless pit

A B C D

Fast way to die? Numbers runner? Popular movie number? Good for you!

N UTC RAC K E R S: Labyrinths

101

16

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II

16

18 20

22

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34

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102

PUZZLE 35

Hepcat

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Even domestic animals crave romance and adventure, as the person stuck in this Labyrinth makes evident. (Solution, page 166)

V-110i n 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Cream-filled pastry Of kingly blood Left partner Shoe insert Head cook Pet vexation Zodiacal pair Waikiki welcome 9 Spear thrown for sport 10 Ancient Greek cleanser? with Love 11 To __ 12 Printer's fluid 13 Gala celebration 14 Revolutionary John 15 Notion 16 Precious stone 17 Solid water 18 Floating menageries 19 Buddhist variety 20 Russian peon 21 Dermatologist's concern humbug!" 22 "..,

23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37

Resident of Nome Musician's date Jekyll's doppelganger Adam's donation to Eve Presidential refusal Bother, irritate Sullivan or Meese Nativity city Express scorn or contempt African antelope Gender Seventh planet from sun of Khan The Arizona city Inquire

A B C D

Crystal light? States once more? Nonstops to Havana? Birds of Fields?

N U T C R A C K E R S: Labyrinths

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16

30-

103

104

PUZZLE 36

Growing Pains

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Mother Earth is a wonderful artist, and so, in a way, is the person lost in this Labyrinth. (Solution, page 166)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Former New York mayor Population count Kind of heart surgery Streetwalker's agent Hospital employee Words to songs Horn sound California's Big 9 All right 10 Bitty partner 11 Amish curse 12 Artsy district of London or NYC 13 Stick explosive 14 Stallone nickname 15 Sheep's kin 16 The Eternal City 17 __ _ Town 18 Sunday service 19 Asian currency 20 Finish, cease 21 Television award 22 Extremely old 23 Reed instrument

24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

Turkish hat Wedding words Conductor Riccardo To's partner Huge weights Spanish celebrations Regan's dad Pigs call it home Hollywood's wet Williams Tango number The Moonies, for instance The Floating Kingdom Drinkers' group Diffident, retiring Lunatics, to Hitchcock Chose, picked It stuck in Adam's throat

A B C D

Bizarre, like suburbanites? School for Watson? Make love to cornmeal dish? Huge, like Washington's?

N U T C R A C K E R S:

lo14

1822

19-

37-

Labyrinths

105

106

PUZZLE

37

Gag Order Taking a stand can get you in trouble, as the person lost in this Labyrinth found out. (Solution, page 166)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

The _ _ American Ancient calculator Grace-land? Light-bulb unit Lincoln or Holland Photocopy Indian garb Striped quadruped 9 Turnpike, route 10 Jumbled word 11 Prune source 12 Overseer of airwaves 13 Keats product 14 Batter's option 15 Aboveground subway 16 Stops for wine? 17 One's own being 18 Concorde, for instance 19 Asian megalopolis 20 just Stories 21 Newspaper item 22 Supped

23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37

Hair straightener No counterpart Boast Operate a phone Pen manufacturer Napoleon's exile Home and school organization Stiletto or shiv Intercontinental airline March follower Franklin's mate Hot dog condiment Iliad author Tub, as of pickles Thespians

A B C D

Where to get a French cut? Man of Iron? Girl who had a fastball? Tongue twister?

N U T C R A C K E R S:

F-

23

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3034

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21

Labyrinths

107

108

PUZZLE

38

Yule Be Sorry

&C&& W W %V

The holiday season can be filled with terrors, especially if you're the person hiding out in this Labyrinth. (Solution, page 167)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

10 11

12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23

Bender ender Kermit, for instance Man with a brush Keystone state, to mailman Keats's was Grecian Owed to the library __ _ of hand Horse provender Narcissus's answer Green, exotic fruits Where to go after do? Charlie Brown's tormentor Phys ed class Russian ruler Explosive letters Let the dog go Scratch stimulus More Spanish? Much _ _ about Nothing Bridal wear Corn holder Chanel, to friends Either follower

24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

Hitler's was the third Tread the boards Novelist Herman Athlete or supporter Baby, olive, or motor One of your basic Wrights Afternoon March king Volcano ejecta Ancient Mexican people Indeterminate vowel Acorn eventuality Mixed-breed dog Drunken coma Coeur d'Alene state Repose, relax Copper-and-zinc alloy

A B C D

Winner of the Noble prize? Talk of the Town? Where to go for a spin? Particular theoreticians?

N U T C R A C K E R S:

Labyrinths

I I

I-

F4

I -7

12

TiF

26t T29

3-

109

110

PUZZLE 39

Metropolitan Life

-

&G&Cf

We've heard of death benefits, but this is ridiculous-just consult the figure lost in (Solution, page 167) this Labyrinth.

1 Alone, musically 2 Lacking proper deference 3 Felix Bloch, possibly? 4 Court request 5 Cable channel for kids 6 Young horse 7 UPI competitor 8 Scot's outfits 9 Ali Baba's kind of night 10 Addams's right-hand man 11 Blood factor 12 Hat material 13 Take a little drink 14 Unit of cotton 15 Prevail 16 Gives out homework 17 Grind your teeth 18 Enlisted Joe 19 Chopin piano study 20 QB's goal 21 Cloche, kepi, or fez 22 Promissory notes

23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37

Silent president Resign Like a certain duckling Prevaricate Little rascal End of Brit's alphabet South African hero Wimpled one Hole in the stomach Iron, periodically Seeking a price "You're the Sweet potato cousin We, objectively Summer or spaghetti

A B C D

Kiddie Cities? Fascinating plotting? Delays some showers? They go a-courtin'?

N U T C R A C K E R S: Labyrinths

1I

14

F7

2T

28

111

112

PUZZLE 40

Retreat!

a6Y69

Some leaders avoid confrontation and some leaders court it-as the subject of this Labyrinth has witnessed. (Solution, page 167)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Skirt length for Twiggy Rose's essence Spinning toys Answer to Why? Holiday or Ramada Arab chieftain Switch positions? Minnelli's sister 9 Sign at greasy spoon 10 Hairstyle 11 Missouri time zone 12 Fore's opposite 13 Funeral bonfire 14 Disobedient, like Marietta 15 Hirschfeld's daughter 16 Minister, for short 17 Foe 18 Hospital tube 19 Letter, to Hawthorne 20 Withdrawal symptom 21 Instep support 22 Martini ingredient

23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37

Helmet material By mouth Pool implement Town of Rubble? Die-more than once? Common viral infection

A B C D

Newborns' armies? Ballsy, perhaps? Kind of flat competence? Transports, like desire?

Caption for Pontiac RCA purchaser Large property Largest ocean Old Bailey? Donkey, idiot X-rated material Alias Pull partner

N U T C R A C K E R S:

Labyrinths

113

16

23

23

VERBATIMS IN MANY DOUBLE-ACROSTICS, tedious clues lead to dull quotations from unreadable books. Though the workmanship in these puzzles is amazing, we do get tired of solving clues like English clergyman (1607-38) in U.S., prominent in education or Seaport, SE Northumberland, Eng. when the only reward for all our efforts is an extract from a monograph on anthrax. Perhaps we exaggerate, but it has nevertheless been our aim to make the doubleacrostics that follow-Verbatims, as we call them-a lot more fun in the solving, and in the solution, too. We begin with the clues. Instead of straight definitions, we offer, for the most part, puns. Opera about Macy's parade mishap? DEFLATOR MOUSE. Death practice studied by MargaretMead? YOUTH IN ASIA. Why the Venus de Milo can't 'urt you? ARMLESS. You get the picture. In many Verbatims, we also include one or two clues we call alphabetics, whose answers substitute a number of letters for the sounds they might make. What the coroner practices way up north? NNNNSIC ("four N sic") MEDICINE. ("Way up north" helps clue the Ns.) Something for every taste? HH ("two aitches") OWN. The quotations these clues lead to are another distinguishing trait. You will not hear from boring pundits in these puzzles; the musings of country vicars on the joys of the springtime crocus have been banished to other compendia. You will find here instead the embarrassing, astonishing, ridiculous, loathsome, reputation-staining utterances, quoted verbatim, of politicians, performers, and other propagandists. Plus a few surprises. Our Verbatims also differ from other acrostics in the way they appear on the page, but the procedure for completing them is still much the same. Solve as many as you can of the CLUES-puns and alphabetics-and write your ANSWERS in the numbered blanks that begin just below. (We often supply you with a free letter or two to help you along.) Then transfer these answers, letter by letter, into the corresponding boxes in the QUOTATION. (More free letters!) You can also work backward from the quotation to the clues by checking the letter in the upper-right-hand corner of each box; as you begin to see words emerging, you'll be able to complete some of the clues that have hitherto defied analysis. In the end you'll have reconstructed the entire quotation; its source will appear spelled out vertically in the little boxes.

116

PUZZLE

41

is

Executive Privilege

If you thought Nixon took advantage of his position, wait until you discover the shocking truth about the inner workings of government spelled out in this Verbatim. (Solution, page 168)

RN= A Blunderer on movie set B Fade, like author Connell C General survey of scene after the Apocalypse D Receive theatrical award fraudulently? That's Italian! E Lavender decade F Eloquent, like former reporter G General who personifies manifest destiny H Wearing down a follower of Miss Nixon I Steinem and Friedan in high schoolwere they swingers?

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Actress who didn't have Hoover Song sung to Streisand in Woolly Girl Battlements such as horns and hooves Humbug's partner is endlessly sheepish AMPHETAMINE TRIAL-LIKE THIS CLUE Puckery substance made from mystic

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N U T C R A C K E R S: Verbatims

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PUZZLE 42

wo

Freedom of Association

Here in America, you can talk to anyone you want, and you don't even have to make sense. You could look it up-it's in the Bill of Rights! (Solution, page 168) A Whom Channing consults for inspiration B Holiday at your country home-now that's

I

abusive!

J K

C Slogan for selling Rilke's poetry D Malevolence directed toward the Bard when he's sick

L M

replacement?

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E Forster novel that leaves you cold F Where Hamlet might seek a skull G An amount of ejected effluvium allowed H Movie about servant shared by Roald and

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Arlene

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120

PUZZLE

43

Process of Elimination Religion has not always been kind to women-some got the ax and some got the fire. Today they just get insulted. (Solution, page 169)

-3NM A Way to learn percussion and birth control B What someone who doesn't like kissing yells when the sun goes down C Get lost, Virginia ruminant! D Bible character has bond-and tenure E Room for writer (iter) ... F ... Say, didn't he pen a war novel? G Boots and spurs you might put on a salad H 1990, approximately-a time for shouting Quarks and muons: The British eat them

J K L M N

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Products of Hawaii really love college Menudo performance in Arkansas How to force Indians to give you money Cologne you might find in "Hide" Park Unimaginative-and always thinking about the seashore Criticized severely for prepared crown roast

up

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K L M N 0

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122

PUZZLE

44

Isn't It Romantic?

&G&& VW1W

Merely to be young on such a night as this: Ah, we like romance the old-fashioned way. And when we say old-fashioned, we mean old-fashioned. (Solution, page 169)

gymh A B

Song sung to welcome analytic convention What the annoying King of Siam is-a kind of foot? C Movie about imprisoned Swedish director D Throughout autumn, feathers come after ashes E Immortality of Cats keeps another musical

I J

Nicaraguan orchestra illegally imported What is something that keeps the doctor away from the Naval Academy? Fruitcake, for instance, is stirrin' up a ruckus! Eruption seen in Udall's news clip from Ecuador Kind of circumstances found at many universities Annoy former Korean leader in junkie hangout

K L

running

M

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A B C D

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PUZZLE

45

White Lie

&4&& WWV

Everyone knows it's wrong to fib, but even the most honest person will sometimes get caught in a whopper. (Solution, page 169)

A B C D E F G H

What an athlete might use to produce a heavenly body Intrepid antelope spun futuristic tale Circus folk phone Chinese siblings Harriet's husband, the garbageman, is sort of Jewish Touchy underground issues Pithy statement from lisping marsupial Dummy, it's related to a gift from God! Caption: Where the suicide jumped from

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Nearly three-mile distance to medication for colleges Women's organization and draft reject pledge eternal unity Resort to mouse-catching range Section of poem after Part N canceledtoo horny Crazy reasons for making trains Lancelot laughs hysterically about songbirds

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PUZZLE 46

The Bride Wore Lead We've all heard the surgeon general's warnings about promiscuity: Sleeping around can be dangerous to your health. But wait till you hear what monogamy can do! (Solution, page 170) A B C

Hurry up and fire the star Not working? No shit! Prince's protegee deemed mediocre by

H Ibsen play about social purge Rule in X-rated cave I What Russia was to Latvian, for instance-it could make you gag! K What Isherwood said on Halloween? L Psychiatric term for fear of pimples M Miniseries about Bush cabinet officer and

magazine

Rub-on number that is relevant Whitman work about his "little man" What the cannibal did to the girl who was an idiot? G What Madonna will be when she dies? D E F

A B C D E F G H I

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Disoriented

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The English language is often confusing, but confusion can sometimes result in delicious, if unintentional, poetry. (Solution, page 170)

gm= A B C D E F

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What the king said to the queen when she honored gold diggers? Was familiar with Buddy Sorrell from old Manhattan Simon and Garfunkel anthem for Mideast country Politician urges delicacy Cow with too many calves-it's a complete mess Singer who's serving as President Ford's tailor?

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Game that gives permission for Paul to become 16th king of France Squashes animal swimsuits? Unmanly-like what a radio has? All the world's oceans make up 31/2 cubic centimeters Lively, thanks to a lot of hydrogen Read Valley of the Dolls, for instance, in Penthouse Mongolian stud Musical that forbids chamber-music group

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48

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Manufacturers have recently begun to understand our need to celebrate individuality, and are producing goods and advertisements accordingly. (Solution, page 171)

A B C D E F G

H Rocket part lacks English delicacy

Fungi that have strong legs and a quick tongue? Severe punishment-let it be on Burt Reynolds's head Good-looking former senator in Paris Bouncer suggests diet plan for prostitutes Former airline head-he's my idol! Formicologist's peripatetic novel? Spiritual marathon, for one?

A B C D E F G H

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Time of many near-failures Demon's cry is just a tool Politician who was railroaded twice Commie enthusiast-what a fruit! End in Spain, like Santa's little helpers Three ships involved in rags-to-riches tale Arab musical with Gene Kelly

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49

Sacred Cow

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Some people are so beloved that they seem almost immune to criticism. Seldom is heard a discouraging word about Abraham Lincoln, Mary Tyler Moore, or the source of this disturbing Verbatim. (Solution, page 171)

A B C D E

F G

Woman with many children-one of whom founded Scientology Drink for plump adolescent Very hungry members of agricultural club Heavyweight dessert for Arab thief Evening Magazine in Camelot Name maniacs for old coins Person who helps criminal with pronunciation of 24th, 19th, or 5th letter

A B C

D E F G H I

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Bookish sperm donor's promises Himalayan town where ailurophile gets I haircut Hamburger, for instance, consumed sprout K 1,000 looks signified exaggeration L Needs untouchable college boards M S. Morse produces ... N ... Pagan recipe for poultry 0 Very egotistical person wearing glasses

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There's no sadder indictment of the failure of sex education in our schools than an adult who still hasn't mastered the basic mysteries of life. (Solution, page 172) gym

A Heroes who have excellent camouflage B Quaker Oath, we hear, is unearthly

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Leprechauns who read two magazines at once D Amorous-like a wink in Italy E How the visitor knew when to come F Being stops serving at 4:30 G Do you mean the maid on TV or the astringent? H A plaque for plaque Small portion of impressionistic shtick

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51

Philosophy Made Hard

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Despite the progress of feminism, when we think of the great thinkers, we think of old men. But what were the old men thinking about? (Solution, page 172)

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They won't put you to sleep, and they won't make you fat B Frigid duelist C Playwright who made quite a racket at school in Massachusetts D Asian surfing equipment used on Atlantic coast E What the magnate does-and what he buys F Carpets are rolled for those who didn't win

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Birds and Beasts

WV

Can punishments fit their crimes exactly? Only in Dante, in fairy tales, and in the (Solution, page 173) minds of self-described moralists.

A B C D E F G H

Looking at fossils, CBS founder develops theory of being Dislike American poet for San Francisco setting Hindu ascetic's chauffeur is a Yank Redhead assembles sluttish conger dance When Irish mouths are kissing-slim pickings! How a junkie seeks joy Beer that's learned its lesson Reserved spot in supermarket for seafood

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PUZZLE 53

On the Lighter Side

At

a

Some of our greatest humorists have been of the unintentional variety-and some of our greatest idiots, too. Here we have the two together. (See page 143)

A Armament advice from brain trusts B Insect repellent for George Hamilton-

Not working-like Mondale's clothes What American miners are looking for in a Springsteen song K Confused command to eggs L Accept Hindu god while attending Hebrew school M Deadlock over mischievous child's backside N Prison camp has bugs coming up from the floors 0 Very mediocre musical work that's played all year

I J

that's irrelevant C Incidentally, where are the curds? D Bachelors living by themselves make tuna fish E Choose Miss Funicello to play a part in Carmen F Fruit that was beaten to a pulp G Gospel singer who was in debt to singer James H What Cleopatra found in her carriage: folks tossing trash

"mamaT

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N U T C R A C K E R S: Verbatims

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SOLUTIONS ON THE FOLLOWING PAGES you'll find the overall solutions to the Nutcrackers, as well as answers to the individual clues. In many cases we go even further by providing detailed explanations of how the clues work. Cryptic, for example, are broken down by type: anagram, rebus, container, etc. Solutions to the examples in "Breaking the Code" are given in even greater detail. It was not possible, however, without taking up much more space, to explain every aspect of all the other clues; we trust you'll be able to go back from our explanations and figure out whatever remains a mystery. There is one puzzle-the last one-whose solution is not included here. If it leaves you baffled, you may send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to NUTCRACKER SOLUTION, c/o Grove Weidenfeld, 841 Broadway, New York, NY 10003. The solution will make its way back to you by return post. If you think you've worked it out for yourself, however, you may send your answer (the quotation and its source) to the same address and receive, if correct, a special surprise from the Nutcrackers. Remember, all decisions of the judges are vinyl.

144

BREAKING THE CODE 9 definition: PHILOSOPHICALLY LIKE A GREEK signal: SUFFERED anagram: RETALIATIONS answer: ARISTOTELIAN 10 definition: COMPULSIVE, ACCORDING TO FREUD signal: TURNER anagram: LANA answer: ANAL 11 definition: RASH signal: SNAKES anagram: IRIDESCENT answer: INDISCREET 17 definition: DRESSING location of hidden word: MAYOR signal: STOPPED WITHOUT FINISHING answer: MAYO 19 definition: DESPISE location of hidden word: CHATEAU (French estate) signal: IN answer: HATE 22 definition: REFLECTIVE location of reversal: ABYSS OLGA signal: RETURNING FROM answer: GLOSSY 32 definition: GENE'S CONTENT rebus equation: in this instance (HERE) + heartless song' (DItTY) answer: HEREDITY 35 definition: PLAYWRIGHT container equation: the big museum (MET) + morning (A.M.) answer: MAMET 36 definition: MEXICAN FOOD signal: ATE container equation: the donkey (BURRO) . IT answer: BURRITO 40 definition 1: BILL FOR FEMALES definition 2: PERIOD answer: ERA (in the first sense, Equal Rights Amendment) 42 definition 1: PREPARES EXPENSIVE TOMATOES definition 2: MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS signal: AND answer: SUNDRIES (in the first sense, SUN DRIES) 45 definition: PASSOVER DINNER signal: ATTENDS homophone: old goat (SATYR)

46

47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57

page 15 answer: SEDER (the clue could go the other way, too) definition: UNDERTAKERS signal: LIST (i.e., listen) homophone: greater number of Venetian paintings (MORE TITIANS) answer: MORTICIANS definition: HOLE IN THE HEAD pun: like a talk show host (CAVETT-Y) answer: CAVITY definition: PERFECT pun: casino employee's motto (I DEAL) answer: IDEAL definition: NONE pun: A LITTLE TESTY answer: QUIZ definition: KLEENEX signal: STREWN AROUND anagram: SUITES answer: TISSUE definition: A SEE-THROUGH FABRIC signal: COATS location of hidden word: PATTI'S SUEDE answer: TISSUE definition: MATERIAL FOR ORGAN signal: BACK location of reversal: MADE US SIT answer: TISSUE definition: PAPER rebus equation: head of 'Teamsters' (T) + IS + to bring to trial (SUE) answer: TISSUE definition: THIN PAPER container equation: Tuesday (TUE) + short edition of magazine (ISS) answer: TISSUE definition 1: A LOT OF LIES definition 2: FLIMSY STUFF answer: TISSUE definition: NETWORK signal: THEY SAY homophone: CBS's chairman (TISCH) + footwear (SHOE) answer: TISSUE definition: ON THE NOSE pun: 'TIS SUE! answer: TISSUE

N UTC R AC K E R S: Solutions

145

PUZZLE 1 A VIEW TO A KILL page 30 RABBIT, KNAVE, HOIST, and HAMMER led to the first name of our, Missing Person; MAROON, JEWEL, and SLIPPER led to the last. He wasn't the kind of person you'd want your children to watch on television, but there he was in DALLAS in the early SIXTIES, making a TELEVISION HIT no viewer would ever forget. And although the WARREN Commission drew dubious conclusions about Oswald, no one who had A VIEW TO A KILL could doubt the guilt of JACK RUBY.

1 MAROON (anagram: ROMANO) 2 RABBIT (rebus: religious leader (RABBI) + tea (T)) 3 DALLAS (anagram: SALAD + head of 'lettuce' (L)) 4 JEWEL (rebus: Hebrew (JEW) + train (EL)) 5 KNAVE (homophone: NAVE) 6 SIXTIES (anagram: IS IT SEX) 7 SLIPPER (double definition: SCUFF and BANANA PEEL) 8 HOIST (container: HOST . I) 9 WARREN (double definition: BEATTY and HUTCH) 10 HAMMER (pun: MORE OF AN ACTOR) 11 TELEVISION HIT

PUZZLE 2 STRINGS ATTACHED

1 COLLAR (homophone: CHOLER) 2 SKILLET (container: SET - to destroy (KILL)) 3 FADE (anagram: DEAF) 4 MARTIN (rebus: hurt (MAR) + metal (TIN)) 5 SLAM (pun: BRIDGE GAME) 6 RABBIT (hidden: scaRAB BITes) 7 DARLINGS (anagram: LAD GRINS) 8 PROSPECT (anagram: initially 'Phil' (P) + SPECTOR) 9 MAX (rebus: little 'man' (M) + AX) 10 FLYING (rebus: failing (F) + not telling the truth (LYING)) 11 PERPETUAL YOUTH

page 32

FADE, RABBIT, and MAX led to the first name of our fictional Missing Person; SKILLET, SLAM, and PROSPECT to the last. Together they suggest the COLLAR worn by Mary MARTIN as PETER PAN in the television version of Barrie's play. Remembered by many for its FLYING, the telecast proves slightly disappointing when viewed years later. Neither the PERPETUAL YOUTH nor the various DARLINGS are able to fly without perfectly visible STRINGS ATTACHED.

146

PUZZLE 3 CRUELTY TO ANIMALS page 34 RODENT, LODGE, EAGER, and DAM led to the first name of our Missing Person; BUTCHER, GINSU, CHOPPER, and ELDRIDGE led to the last. A character on a SITCOM that purported to show SUBURBAN life as it actually existed, BEAVER CLEAVER may well have been the country's FAVORITE SON. Still, there seemed to be something evil lurking beneath that name-something either vivisectionist or misogynist, depending on your point of view

1 BUTCHER (rebus: however (BUT) + 'dear' in France (CHER)) 2 LODGE (anagram: OGLED) 3 CHOPPER (anagram: hydrogen (H) + COPPER) 4 SUBURBAN (anagram: BURN A BUS) 5 RODENT (homophone: ROAD DENT) 6 GINSU (anagram: USING) 7 DAM (rebus: Roman numeral 500 (D) + in the morning (A.M.)) 8 EAGER (anagram: AGREE) 9 SITCOM (hidden: setS IT COMmissioned) 10 ELDRIDGE (anagram: LED DIRGE) 11 FAVORITE SON

PUZZLE 4 OCCIDENTAL TOURIST

1 BUFFALO (rebus: polish (BUFF) + American League (AL) + nothing (0)) 2 VIRTUE (rebus: VIRGIN - drink (GIN) + Tuesday (TUE)) 3 ROAD (homophone: ROWED) 4 SHILLING (container: SING - inclination (HILL)) 5 FEATHERS (hidden: foodstuf F EAT HERS) 6 COMIC (anagram: ECONOMIC - ONE) 7 HAIRDO (pun: FIXED "LOCKS") 8 DESIRE (anagram: RESIDE) 9 GOLF (pun: OFF "PUTTING" GAME) 10 APPLES (rebus: APPLIES - I (selflessly)) 11 TV SPECIALIST

page 36

BUFFALO, SHILLING, HAIRDO, and APPLES led to the first name of our Missing Person; VIRTUE, FEATHERS, and DESIRE led to the last. Together they suggested a COMIC known for GOLF and for "ROAD" movies, not to mention his years as an OCCIDENTAL TOURIST for the USO. Who could this frighteningly perennial TV SPECIALIST be but that purveyor of vapid starlets and repulsive transvestism, BOB HOPE?

PUZZLE 5 NORTHWEST PASSAGE page 38 CRACKER, RAISE, and TOOL led to the first name of our Missing Person; FOG, BRIDGE, BROIL, and ENGLAND led to the last. After joining the KLONDIKE gold rush in 1897, he became a NOVELIST famous for many a NORTHWEST PASSAGE. In books such as White FANG, he exhausted for all time the possibilities of large, mean dogs as protagonists (at least until Rambo came along). Who could THE WILD MAN-the Call of the Wild man-be but JACK LONDON?

1 FOG (reversal: gravity (G) + OF) 2 FANG (rebus: enthusiast (FAN) + seventh letter (G)) 3 TOOL (double definition: INSTRUMENT and DRIVE) 4 BRIDGE (anagram: BIG RED) 5 NOVELIST (pun: NOVEL LISZT) 6 RAISE (homophone: RAYS) 7 BROIL (container: state of agitation (BOIL) + 'red' head (R)) 8 KLONDIKE (anagram: KLEIN OK'D) 9 CRACKER (double definition: GRAHAM MADE ONE and OPENER) 10 ENGLAND (rebus: 'in' French (EN) + organ (GLAND)) 11 THE WILD MAN

N U T C R A C K E R S: Solutions

147

PUZZLE 6 THIS LITTLE PIGGY page 40 When you're famous or pretentious enough, you go by your first name only The Missing Person in question meets both requirements. VILLAGE suggested his singular name; FAULKNER suggested a novel similarly titled. In the BARD's PLAY, mother GERTRUDE worries whether her son the PRINCE will be a great Dane or just a MOPER-for things are ROTTEN in the state of Denmark. Since HAMLET's first performance at the GLOBE around 1602, hundreds of actors have hammed their way through it as if to earn the title fully: THIS LITTLE PIGGY ranted, THIS LITTLE PIGGY wept blood....

1 GERTRUDE (container: become inconsiderate (GET RUDE) - head of 'Rolling Rock' (R)) 2 VILLAGE (rebus: victory (V) + I'LL + grow old (AGE)) 3 FAULKNER (anagram: REAL FUNK) 4 ROTTEN (anagram: OTTER + north (N)) 5 PLAY (rebus: (A + 12-inch disc (LP)) backward + Fourth of'July' (Y)) 6 MOPER (pun: MOP E. R.) 7 GLOBE (anagram: BOLGER - 'removing' top (R)) 8 PRINCE (double definition: QUEEN'S BOY and ROCK STAR) 9 BARD (homophone: BARRED) 10 PART (rebus: level (PAR) + teaspoon (T)) 11 HE DROVE THELMA MAD (anagram: HAMLET)

PUZZLE 7 STICK FIGURE

1 LOADED (double definition: SMASHED and KIND OF GUN) 2 CONFRERE (anagram: ENFORCER) 3 TRAP (pun: VON TRAPP) 4 SYSTEM (hidden: panSY STEMs) 5 HOLLY (container: HOLY . left (L)) 6 LITTLE (anagram: TELL IT) 7 CHUM (anagram: MUCH) 8 FLUSH (rebus: FLUISH - I) 9 SKINS (container: Nazi group (SS) + relatives (KIN)) 10 LUSH (double definition: LUXURIANT and DRUNK) 11 ELECTRIC BEATER

page 42

CONFRERE, SYSTEM, HOLLY, and CHUM led to the first name of our Missing Person; LITTLE, LUSH, FLUSH, and LOADED led to the last. A drummer famous for his work on the TRAP set (also known as SKINS), BUDDY RICH was a truly ELECTRIC BEATER. His obnoxious personality, as seen on television, made sure he stood out among other drummers-even better ones-as the most memorable STICK FIGURE of his age.

PUZZLE 8 page 44 FILM NOIR NAIL, PIERCE, CLEAT, and LACE led to the first name of our Missing Person; SHELTER, GRANT, and MAJORS led to the last. Together they suggested a man whose musical, SCHOOL DAZE, examined tensions within the black community. SPIKE LEE's next offering-or JOINT, as he calls it-was Do the Right Thing. Some see this third effort from the TRIPLE THREAT (writeractor-director) as a threat indeed, but others have hailed it as a new direction in American cinema-a true FILM NOIR at last.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

NAIL (container: nothing (NIL) + A) SHELTER (anagram: THREE + L'S) SCHOOL (pun: 'S COOL) CLEAT (hidden: bicyCLE ATtire) GRANT (rebus: good (G) + long cry (RANT)) JOINT (double definition: SHAREDiand WRIST OR ELBOW) PIERCE (anagram: RECIPE) MAJORS (anagram: OR + JAMS) DAZE (homophone: DAYS) LACE (rebus: 'level' head (L) + pilot (ACE)) TRIPLE THREAT

148

PUZZLE 9 DISPIRITING

page 46

SUPPORT, FIREMAN, TORCH, and BEAR led to the first name of our Missing Person; STATE, DAM, TRIBE, and CAR led to the last. The 6-foot, 175-pound CARRY NATION must have found conditions in the supposedly DRY state of Kansas DISPIRITING: The law was ignored and spirits were sold in saloons that flourished everywhere. She threw her first TEMPERANCE TANTRUM in 1900, heaving bricks at the bottles, mirrors, and windows of a watering hole in Kiowa. Later she refined her technique, adopting the HATCHET that became her symbol.

PUZZLE 10 STARSTRUCK

page 48

STONE, PLYMOUTH, ROLL, and AGES led to the first name of our Missing Person; RIVER, AUTO, and BAY led to the last. Together they suggested an ACTOR with the manly, invented name of ROCK HUDSON. In such movies as PILLOW Talk and Send Me No Flowers, HE WAS A DAY TRIPPER-Doris Day, that is-conniving to snag his prudish leading lady But offscreen, he was in the CLOSET-a palatial one, but a closet nonetheless. It was thus a double shock for many when the STAR was STRUCK down by AIDS in 1985.

1 SUPPORT (rebus: dine (SUP) + wine (PORT)) 2 STATE (anagram: TASTE) 3 HATCHET (rebus: HAT + Huntley (CHET)) 4 BEAR (hidden: BEggAR) 5 DAM (double definition: MOTHER and BEAVER'S HOME) 6 TORCH (rebus: top of 'temple' (T) + OR + church (CH)) 7 TRIBE (anagram: BEIRUT - university (U)) 8 DRY (rebus: doctor (DR) + male chromosome (Y)) 9 FIREMAN (anagram: I'M A FERN) 10 CAR (rebus: pack of cigarettes (CARTON) weight (TON)) 11 TEMPERANCE TANTRUM

1 STONE (double definition: 14-POUND and GEM) 2 RIVER (pun: SINGULAR JOAN RIVERS) 3 CLOSET (container: Connecticut (CT) . do not prevail (LOSE)) 4 PLYMOUTH (anagram: HOT LUMPY) 5 AUTO (rebus: gold (AU) + TO) 6 ACTOR (anagram: TACO + bit of 'rancid' (R)) 7 ROLL (homophone: ROLE) 8 PILLOW (rebus: medication (PILL) + cry (OW)) 9 BAY (double definition: HOWL and CHESTNUT) 10 AGES (anagram: SAGE) 11 HE WAS A DAY TRIPPER

NUTCRACKERS:

149

Solutions

PUZZLE 11

RIBBON CUTTERS

page 50

AWARD and CHIC led to the first word in the name of the TRIO who were our Missing Persons; FLORIDA and WOOLF led to the second; PLUS led to the third; OCCUR and MORNING led to the last. You might have gathered that TONY ORLANDO AND DAWN were the VOCAL ACT in question: CUTTERS of the hit song "Tie a Yellow RIBBON"-a '70s oddity about love after prison that was reprised during the Gulf War. Their other major hit renders them mere KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK JOKES in the '90s.

PUZZLE 12 EARTH MOTHER

page 52

ONION, GRAY, OYSTER, and CULTURED led to the first name of our Missing Person; RESIST, DOLLAR, DEER, and NAKED led to the last. Together they suggested a WRITER born in West Virginia, though PEARL BUCK was more famously a MAID IN CHINA. Her years there formed the basis of The Good Earth-her most famous book, written in 18 days. Later, through the foundation that bears her name, this "EARTH" MOTHER became known as an earth mother for ORPHANS as well.

PUZZLE 13 PLATTER PUSS page 54 YOGURT, MUSEUM, and ELI led to the first name of our Missing Person; TEXAS, STREET, SAM, and ROCKETS led to the last. Together they suggested the beautiful young daughter of GOSPEL SINGER Cissy Houston (and niece of the toothy Dionne WARWICK, as well): WHITNEY HOUSTON. Before the age of 30, this PLATTER PUSS had already made millions for herself and for her label, thus earning the right to be referred to as AN ARISTA CAT.

1 VOCAL (rebus: voice over (VO) + California (CAL))

2 CHIC (hidden: mariaCHI Club) 3 FLORIDA (container: Hitler (ADOLF) set back (FLODA) - Rhode Island (RI)) 4 OCCUR (homophone: A CUR) 5 TRIO (anagram: RIOT) 6 AWARD (container: modern times (A. D.) WAR) 7 MORNING (pun: 'am' with periods (A. M.)) 8 WOOLF (rebus: sheepskin (WOOL) + 'fore' head (F)) 9 ACT (anagram: CAT) 10 PLUS (container: disgusting fluid (PUS) . left (L)) 11 KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK JOKES

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

ONION (container: 'on' twice (ONON) - I) RESIST (anagram: SISTER) ORPHANS (rebus: OR + quiet (P) + HANS) GRAY (double definition: GROW OLD and BLACK AND WHITE) DOLLAR (anagram: A DROLL) OYSTER (hidden: bOY'S TERritory) WRITER (homophone: RIGHTER) DEER (hidden: DEfER) CULTURED (anagram: CLUED RUT) NAKED (anagram: KNEAD) MAID IN CHINA

1 ROCKETS (anagram: SECTOR K) 2 GOSPEL (hidden: marGO SPELIman) 3 ELI (anagram: LIE) 4 TEXAS (container: Darjeelings (TEAS) + unknown element (X)) 5 SINGER (pun: SINGE) 6 YOGURT (rebus: Siberian tent (YURT) . 'go' back (OG)) 7 SAM (anagram: MA'S) 8 MUSEUM (container: endless, aimless Summer' (MUSEM) . first of 'undertakers' (U)) 9 WARWICK (pun: WAR WICK) 10 STREET (anagram: TESTER) 11 AN ARISTA CAT

150

PUZZLE 14 page 58 ELEMENTS OF STYLE The seven unclued answers were ALUMINUM, PHOSPHORUS, HYDROGEN, LANTHANUM, URANIUM, RHENIUM, and NITROGEN. These were the ELEMENTS OF STYLE in question, and when translated according to the periodic table, they led, along with the R provided, to the name of "a leading American stylist"-at least as measured in sales. Of course we refer to R-AI-P-H La-U-Re-N (n6 Lifshitz-how stylish!). DOWN ACROSS 7 SLEEP (reversal: PEELS) 10 REPEL (reversal: LEPER) 13 NOAH (container: Japanese drama (NOH) . A) 15 RIO (hidden: bRIOche) 17 MOSAIC (anagram: COSIMA) 18 INTRUDE (anagram: UNTRIED) 21 PET (rebus: rug (CARPET) - vehicle (CAR)) 22 ION (hidden: pIONeer) 23 SENORITAS (anagram: ASSERTION) 27 USSR (container: Abraham's home (UR) Nazi group (SS)) 29 BOX (homophone: BACHS) 34 STEEP (double definition: MUCH INCLINED and PREPARE TEA) 36 SALIVA (anagram: AVAILS) 39 NIT (reversal: TIN) 40 UTE (anagram: little Tuesday (T)) 41 TORIES (anagram: SORT + I.E.) 42 GARLIC (anagram: left (L) + CIGAR) 43 UDDER (hidden: shUDDERs) 45 AORTAS (hidden: indiA OR TASmania) 49 TORSO (anagram: ROOTS) 50 ELITE (double definition: SMALLER TYPE and OF UPPER CLASS)

1 2 3 4 5 6

ARMPIT (anagram: IMPART) LEO (anagram: OLE) UPS (abbreviation: delivery service (U. PS.)) NICHE (anagram: CHINE) UNION (hidden: bUNION) MONROE (rebus: start of week (MON) + eggs (ROE)) 7 SATURNALIA (anagram: AUSTRALIAN) 8 ERUPTS (anagram: PUREST) 9 POETS (anagram: PESTO) 11 EASED (hidden: disEASE Diane) 12 LIPS (anagram: SLIP) 14 HRS (even letters: cHaRtS) 16 IDEAS (anagram: ASIDE) 20 ONYX (container: bovine (OX) . big apple (NY)) 24 HOT ROD (rebus: former Vietnamese leader (HO) + stepped (TROD)) 25 RAPIER (anagram: REPAIR) 26 ONRUSH (anagram: HURON'S) 27 UNIT (rebus: UNFIT - fail (F)) 28 RIME (homophone: RHYME) 30 LENIENT (anagram: TENNIEL) 31 HANGOUT (rebus: Chinese dynasty (HAN) + inflammatory situation (GOUT)) 32 UVULAR (rebus: ultraviolet light (UV) + bothered 'Raul' (ULAR)) 33 MATISSE (anagram: SEA MIST) 34 SUTURE (anagram: UTERUS) 35 EAR (container: Queen Elizabeth (E.R.) . A) 38 MIAMI (reversal: I MAIM) 44 DEI (hidden: maDEIra) 46 TOO (rebus: World War II leader (TOJO) leadership of 'Japan' (J)) 47 DON (double definition: PUT ON and OXFORD'S PROFESSOR)

N U T C R A C K E R S:

Solutions

151

PUZZLE 15 !@#$%¢& page 60 Seven clues led to answers that would not fit in the diagram. If you heeded our advice by watching your tongue, you would have made the appropriate adjustments and gotten on board. In other words, you would have removed the offending language from each of the vulgar answers in question, turning HELICOPTER to ICOPTER, DAMSEL to SEL, SUFFOLK to SUF EPISTLE to ETLE, MOLASSES to MOLES, SCROOGE to GE, and SHIITAKE to AKE. Only by this process could you complete the diagram, thus discovering the name of the boat-and the lake on which it sails-in the shipshape shaded squares. The boat was of course the CENSORSHIP, and the lake, inevitably, was TITICACA. ACROSS 1 ARBITER (anagram: RAREBIT) 7 CYRANO (anagram: CRAYON) 12 CHIC (homophone: SHEIK) 13 RADAR (container: train (RR) - Nabokov heroine (ADA)) 14 KIR (hidden: sKIRt) 15 EGOIST (anagram: STOGIE) 17 RENEGE (anagram: GREENE) 19 APNEA (anagram: PAEAN) 20 USAGES (rebus: America (USA) + General Electric's (G. E.'S)) 22 BUM (double definition: VAGRANT and SCAT LYRIC) 23 TILTS (rebus: 'lit' up (TIL) + Eliot (T S.)) 24 CHER (rebus: instructor (TEACHER) beverage (TEA)) 26 EDITOR (anagram: TRIODE) 27 EPISTLE (anagram: I.E. SPELT) 29 ISRAEL (anagram: SERIAL) 31 CORALS (rebus: average grade (C) + Ph.D. examinations (ORALS)) 32 ANTS (initials: Are Not Touching Salad) 34 REDWOODS (homophone: RED WOODS) 37 DENNIS (reversal: SINNED) 40 MOIRA (anagram: MARIO) 41 ULULATE (rebus: headless African (zULU) + just dead (LATE)) 44 HOW (anagram: WHO) 46 SUFFOLK (rebus: odd 'Smurf' (SUF) + common people (FOLK)) 47 MARS (double definition: DEFACES and MILITARY SYMBOL) 49 BABEL (rebus: blue ox (BABE) + left (L)) 51 MIA (reversal: AIM) 52 PEROXIDE (anagram: PERIOD + EX) 53 ODD (abbreviation: overdosed (O. D.'D)) 54 AEROBIC (anagram: CAROB I.E.) 55 PSALM (anagram: PALMS)

DOWN 1 ACROBAT (anagram: AT COBRA) 2 RHESUS (anagram: RUSHES) 3 BIGAMIST (anagram: GAMBIT IS) 4 HELICOPTER (anagram: PL.O. HERETIC) 5 TRINIDAD (pun: Lopez's fatherland (TRINI DAD)) 6 EASEL (anagram: LEASE) 7 CARUSO (rebus: auto (CAR) + club for soldiers (U. S.O.)) 8 RONA (rebus: Reagan (RON) + A) 9 SHIITAKE (container: Moslem sect (SHIITE) . a king (AK))

10 11 16 18 21 25 28 29 30 32 33 35 36 37 38 39 40 42 43 45 48 50

NIGER (anagram: REIGN) ORESTES (anagram: STEREOS) TATTLE (hidden: clemenT ATTLEe) ESCROW (hidden: annE'S CROWn) SCROOGE (anagram: SO GRECO) HERO (rebus: possessive female (HER) + nothing (0)) TAOISM (anagram: MAOIST) INC (homophone: INK) ERN (hidden: tERN) ALUMNA (anagram: MANUAL) DAMSEL (anagram: MEDALS) DRUID (homophone: DREW ID) SAFARI (anagram: AFRICAS - copyright (C)) DURER (anagram: RUDER) NABOB (reversal: BOB ANderson) SHED (double definition: CASTAWAY and HUT) MOLASSES (reversal: duSE'S SALOMe) LAP (homophone: LAPP) TAXI (rebus: charge (TAX) + I) WHOA (hidden: WHO A) SRO (hidden: thiS ROw) BIC (hidden: iamBIC)

152

PUZZLE 16 RESOLUTIONS

page 62

Thirteen of the clues would not fit into the diagram until they had been resolved. Re-solved, that is. To find the re-solution of HACKNEYED, for instance, you merely had to do as it said: hack neyed for NEEDY. Similarly, the resolution of DOCTOR RUTH (doctor ruth) was HURT; TWIST AND SHOUT (twist and shout) was THOUSAND; MARRAKESH (mar rakesh) was SHAKER; MIXMASTER (mix master) was STREAM; CHOPINESQUE (chop inesque) was EQUINES; SHAKE A LEG (shake a leg) was GAEL; HARMONIES (harm onies) was NOISE; TAILOR-MADE (tailor made) was EDAM; SHUFFLEBOARD (shuffle board) was BROAD; ORDERLIES (order lies) was ISLE; BEATITUDES (beat itudes) was SUITED; CHANGE PURSE (change purse) was SUPER.

ACROSS

DOWN

1 HACKNEYED (homophone: HACK NEED) 5 DOCTOR RUTH (anagram: TUDOR TORCH) 8 DEB (reversal: BED) 10 RID (hidden: bRIDe) 11 GOO (hidden: GOOd) 12 CONQUER (pun: CONK 'ER) 14 AGAR (reversal: RAGA) 15 NAME (container: New England (NE) + morning (A.M.)) 17 UNDO (pun: De Cuellar party (U.N. "DO")) 19 MINK (rebus: male (M) + fluid (INK)) 20 WAGE (double definition: SALARY and FIGHT) 21 ITEM (anagram: TIME) 22 TWIST AND SHOUT (anagram: STANDS WITHOUT) 23 MARRAKESH (container: MARSH RAKE) 26 ARTS (anagram: STAR) 28 DISSOLUTE (anagram: SOLITUDE'S) 31 EARN (homophone: URN) 34 MIXMASTER (pun: MICK'S MASTER) 35 SWIMSUIT (pun: SWIM "SUIT") 37 HACK (double definition: CUT DOWN and MACHINE POLITICIAN) 39 MITRE (anagram: MERIT) 41 SHIN (container: SIN - hot (H)) 42 PYGMY (pun: PIG? ME?) 44 TEA homophonee: before 'you' (U)) 45 RHINO (rebus: blood factor (RH) + IN + love (0)) 46 CHOPINESQUE (hidden: baCH OPINES QUEen) 47 SHAKE A LEG (double definition: HURRY UP and PREPARE CHICKEN) 48 ROTC (hidden: cROTCh) 49 ADDS (homophone: ADZE) 50 HARMONIES (anagram: HAS E MINOR)

2 EIGHTHS (anagram: HIGHEST) 3 TAILOR-MADE (homophone: TAYLOR MAID) 4 YOUNGEST (anagram: YOU + GENTS) 5 HONK (hidden: catarrH ON Knee) 6 ROMEOS (anagram: MOROSE) 7 AQUAS (hidden: anesthesiA QUAShes) 8 DUNGAREE (anagram: UNDERAGE) 9 SHUFFLEBOARD (anagram: BUFFALO HERDS) 10 RAW (hidden: pRAWn) 11 GRIM (pun: GRIM ACE) 13 NEW (homophone: NU) 16 APHRODITE (anagram: ATROPHIED) 18 DENT (anagram: TEND) 21 ORDERLIES (anagram: SORE RILED) 24 KIN (hidden: taKINg) 25 LUTHERAN (anagram: RUN LATHE) 27 SEMINOLE (anagram: SEE LIMON) 28 DRIP (rebus: barely passing (D) + epitaph (R.I.P)) 29 TRASH (rebus: 'to' head (T) + impetuous (RASH)) 30 TAKINGS (rebus: Transit Authority (TA.) + czar's (KING'S)) 32 AWRY (pun: A RYE) 33 BEATITUDES (pun: "B" ATTITUDES) 35 CHANGE PURSE (anagram: HUNGERSCAPE) 36 MIMIC (rebus: lead in La Boheme (MIMI) + lead in 'Carmen' (C)) 38 CHILI (hidden: muCH I LIke) 39 MYNA (anagram: MANY) 40 RAGS (double definition: THE ENQUIRER AND OTHERS and JOPLIN PIECES) 43 GUT (double definition: HOLLOW and STOMACH)

N U T C R A C K E R S: Solutions

153

PUZZLE 17

MISSING LINKS

page 64

This puzzle required you to connect pairs of seemingly unconnectable words. The I1 Missing Links were: love-yawning (AGAPE); snake-summer (ADDER); prince-damper (RAINIER); benefitwine (SAKE); jewish-tile (MOSAIC); pen-apartment (COOP); halt-fabric (LAME); shepherdcurrency (TENDER); doors-charms (ENTRANCES); smoother-fawn (FLATTER); eminentmonth (AUGUST). If you solved these (and the normal clues) correctly, you also discovered the missing links spelled out in the shaded squares-missing lynx, that is, or WILDCAT. ACROSS 1 MARC (rebus: hurt (MAR) + cold (C)) 6 CAMELOT (rebus: showed up (CAME) + property (LOT)) 11 OLD (even letters: sOiLeD) 12 AARON (reversal: NORA Always) 13 see introduction 14 SPHERE (anagram: HERPES) 15 OMNI (rebus: transcendentalist's chant (OM) + 'in' setback (NI)) 17 ACTS (anagram: CAST) 19 TAP (double definition: BUG and DANCE) 20 HEAD (rebus: HE + notice (AD)) 21 THAI (hidden: parT HAlku) 22 DISCRETE (rebus: Princess's (DI'S) + island in Mediterranean (CRETE)) 25 COARSEN (anagram: CANOERS) 26 TURNER (anagram: top 'ten' (T) + RERUN) 28 FOWL (rebus: at first 'fearless' (F) + wise bird (OWL)) 30 see introduction 31 ET AL (reversal: LATE) 34 LAVENDER (anagram: VREELAND) 37 EAR (hidden: EARly) 38 APOPLEXY (rebus: APPLE + no (0) + male chromosomes (XY)) 41 ADAGE (reversal: EGAD! A) 42 see introduction 45 NUN (homophone: NONE) 47 CONGO (rebus: prisoner (CON) + leave (GO)) 48 ERIC (anagram: RICE) 49 ETE (rebus: extraterrestrial (E.T) + end of 'June' (E)) 50 SENT (homophone: SCENT) 51 FILETS (anagram: STIFLE) 52 ROSY (homophone: ROW Z) 53 see introduction 54 ESPY (rebus: telepathy (ESP) + part of 'yogi' (Y))

DOWN 1 see introduction 2 ALP (hidden: orientAL Poet) 3 CAESAR (anagram: RACES A) 4 PARTISAN (anagram: ASPIRANT) 5 DREADED (anagram: DEAD + RED) 6 see introduction 7 MANICURE (pun: MAN I CURE) 8 see introduction 9 OPIATE (homophone: OPIE ATE) 10 see introduction 16 MYSTERY (homophone: MISTER E (Ellington)) 18 THAW (anagram: WHAT) 21 TOO (rebus: TO + love (0)) 23 INDEX (pun: IN DECKS) 24 see introduction 27 READ (anagram: DARE) 28 see introduction 29 LEPROSY (rebus: 'the' French (LE) + common (PROSY)) 32 see introduction 33 LIE (hidden: aLIEn) 35 VOICES (rebus: very old (VO.) + sorbets (ICES)) 36 DEIGNS (homophone: DANES) 39 PLATO (container: mideast organization (P L.O.) . AT) 40 LANES (rebus: PLANES - quietly (P)) 41 AERIE (rebus: A + lake (ERIE)) 43 NOTA (container: North America (N.A.) . Old Testament (O.T)) 44 RILE (anagram: LIRE) 46 NOSY (anagram: SONY)

154

PUZZLE 18 OLD MATH page 66 The OLD MATH in question was even older than set theory, the associative principle, and Venn diagrams. It was Roman math. Where equations occurred in the midst of clues, you had to substitute the appropriate Roman letters to solve them. 54 + 499, for example, became LIV + ID when translated; I 1 Across thus read "Perfumed and LIVID"-that is, INCENSED. Similarly, in 19 Across, 500 + 999 = DIM; in 39 Across, 549 + 50 = DILL; in 42 Across, 51 + 500 = LID; in 50 Across, 104 + 49 = CIVIL; in 1 Down, 6 + 1,000 = VIM; in 4 Down, 5 + 4 + 499 = VIVID; in 8 Down, 1,049 + 500 = MILD. If you solved these equations correctly and then went on to complete the rest of the puzzle as usual, you found yourself with one last (supposedly) old-math problem in the shaded squares: WHAT MAKES A ROMAN NUMBER? The answer, at 10 Down, was NOVOCAINE, of course. ACROSS 2 UNISON (anagram: UNIONS) 2 ULNA (rebus: up (U) + 'Linda' oddly (LNA)) 6 SHARPEN (rebus: tortured 'rash' (SHAR) + writer (PEN)) 11 INCENSED (double definition: PERFUMED and LIVID) 12 IGLOO (anagram: HOOLIGANS - Brinker (HANS)) 13 VIEW (container: bug (VW) - that is (I.E.)) 15 HEARTEN (anagram: TEHERAN) 17 SLAM (container: S&M . 'the' French (LA)) 19 UNCLEAR (anagram: NUCLEAR) 21 COMMAS (container: unconscious states (COMAS) . top 'military' (M)) 22 KEEL (reversal: LEEK) 24 SIC (double definition: ATTACK and THUS) 25 INSET (pun: "IN" SET) 27 ELYSIAN (homophone: ELISION) 28 THOSE (hidden: puT HOSE) 29 RATS (anagram: STAR) 31 MUNDANE (anagram: UNNAMED) 34 ETON (reversal: NOTE) 35 CARSON (anagram: ACORNS) 37 MEAN (anagram: NAME) 38 N9E (homophone: NEIGH) 39 PICKLE (double definition: DILL and JAM) 42 GALLOWS (rebus: guy's partner (GAL) + 'blows' lid off (LOWS)) 46 ONE (homophone: WON) 47 UOMO (hidden: cUOMO) 48 TERRY (anagram: RETRY) 50 CONSIDERATE (anagram: DESECRATION) 51 SHAKE (container: SHE . a king (AK)) 52 TYRANT homophonee: TIRE AUNT) DOWN 1 VIVACITY (rebus: Virgin Islands (V .) + Virginia (VA) + CITY)

3 NEW homophonee: KNEW) 4 ANIMATED (double definition: VIVID and CARTOONLIKE) 5 ASH (rebus: AS + high (H)) 6 SEEN (rebus: SEMEN - male (M)) 7 AIRLESS (anagram: SERIALS) 8 PLEASANT (rebus: requests (PLEAS) + colonist (ANT)) 9 EON (anagram: ONE) 10 see introduction 14 ELM (rebus: train (EL) + Frenchman (M)) 16 ACE (double definition: FREQUENT FLIER and CARD) 18 AMES (rebus: morning (A.M.) + east (E) + south (S)) 19 USER (anagram: RUES) 20 RINGO (anagram: GROIN) 22 KLAN (hidden: aucKLANd) 23 LIKEN (homophone: LICHEN) 26 SOURCE (anagram: CRUSOE) 30 TEE (hidden: canTEEn) 32 ANEMIC (anagram: CINEMA) 33 PALTRY (rebus: friend (PAL) + attempt (TRY)) 36 SKUNK (double definition: SHUT OUT and SMELLY ANIMAL) 38 NOR (reversal: RON) 39 POWS (pun: OFTEN SEEN WITH MIAS) 40 INCH (anagram: CHIN) 41 LOSE (homophone: LOOS) 42 GODS (anagram: DOGS) 43 ABET (rebus: Lincoln (ABE) + car model (T)) 44 LEAR (double definition: NORMAN and KING) 45 WREN (anagram: WE + nurse (R.N.)) 49 YET (hidden: 'no' Russian (nYET))

N U T C R A C K E R S: Solutions

PUZZLE 19 SPIN ART

155

page 68

This dizzying cryptic required you to rotate the diagram as you entered your answers. The letter Z could thus be read from another direction as an N, C could be read as a U, and M could be read as a W The letters H, I, and S read the same going up as down; X and 0 read the same from any direction. If you figured this out, and printed neatly, you found the name of an appropriately revolutionary artist exactly where it belonged-in the lower-right-hand corner: J. M. W TURNER.

ANSWERS 1 REX (homophone: WRECKS) 2 SNAP (double definition: BREAK and COLD SPELL) 3 TWOSOME (anagram: MOST WOE) 4 LURE (anagram: RULE) 5 SEWER (pun: SEW-ER) 5 SERIF (reversal: FIRES) 6 FONZ (rebus: failure (F) + ON + CostaGavras film (Z)) 6 FIZZ (pun: PHYS ED) 7 BOA (hidden: balBOA) 8 BOZOS (homophone: BEAUX O'S) 9 OWE (homophone: OH) 10 SOUVENIR (anagram: I NERVOUS) I11 EACH (anagram: ACHE (move foot (E) to head)) 12 CHICANO (rebus: style (CHIC) + AN + 'old' hat (0)) 13 HOW (anagram: WHO) 14 ABLY (pun: A BLY) 15 GAUZE (container: look (GAZE) . you (U)) 16 ABE (anagram: BEA) 17 CORE (hidden: COREtta) 18 ORPHAN (rebus: OR + PHANtom) 19 SIGN (double definition: WRITE NAME and LEO, FOR EXAMPLE) 20 HOOCH (hidden: cHOO CHoo) 21 OCHS (homophone: OX) 21 OLE (pun: AU LAIT) 22 HELM (hidden: HELMsIey) 23 INCISION (rebus: corporation (INC) + IS + small charge (ION)) 23 INNER (rebus: lodging (INN) + emergency room (E. R.)) 24 SAT (double definition: POSED and SERIES OF QUESTIONS TO COLLEGE APPLICANTS) 25 SAIGON (anagram: I SANG 0) 26 SUGARY (rebus: objectively 'we' (US) returned (SU) + GARY) 27 VOWELS (anagram: WOLVES) 28 FACED (reversal: DECAF) 29 EXORCISE (homophone: EXERCISE)

30 DISCOLOR (rebus: Studio 54 (DISCO) + left (L) + OR) 31 GAS (abbreviation: Georgia's (GA'S)) 32 PINCH (rebus: 'party' beginning (P) + creep along (INCH)) 33 POSE (reversal: aESOP) 33 PEOPLE (rebus: 'pope' confused (PEOP) + 'the' French (LE)) 34 TAXI (container: 'it' comes back (TI) chopper (AX)) 35 DO IN (container: a lot of noise (DIN) + nothing (0)) 36 WINNOW (rebus: victory (WIN) + women's group (NOW)) 37 MATZO (rebus: mother (MA) + time (T) + Emerald City (OZ) returning (ZO)) 38 SON (reversal: NOS) 39 GOMEZ (rebus: seventh row (G) + 0 + Mezzanine' section (MEZ)) 40 EXIST (hidden: sEXIST) 41 SNOOZE (rebus: poles (S + N) + seep (OOZE)) 42 OASIS (rebus: nothing (0) + in its current condition (AS IS)) 43 TUXEDOS (rebus: 'tiger' head (T) + mad 'exodus' (UXEDOS)) 44 SUEZ (reversal: ZEUS) 45 OUSTER (anagram: ROUTES) 46 IRONY (pun: PUMPING IRON-Y) 47 STENCIL (anagram: CLIENTS) 48 TNT (odd letters: ToNiTe) 49 EMU (hidden: IEMUr) 50 HOUR (hidden: muslim virgin (HOURi)) 51 OWNERS (anagram: WORSEN) 52 ONE (rebus: ON + east (E)) 53 TRYST (rebus: attempt (TRY) + street (ST)) 54 VOODOOS (anagram: clap (VD) + four-egg (0000) + dash of 'salt' (S)) 54 VAT (double definition: KIND OF SURCHARGE and TUB) 55 STEM (reversal: METS) 55 SHREWD (homophone: SHREWED) 56 WEST (anagram: STEW)

156

PUZZLE 20 SHRINKING

page 70

August is over, and none too soon. We were desperate for some shrinking-and so were the answers to our stream-of-consciousness clues. To make them fit properly into the diagram, you had to remove the letter E wherever it cropped up-you had to give us a little E GO GRATIFICATION, that is.

ACROSS 1 MADRES (anagram: DREAMS) 6 SIENNA (anagram: INSANE) 11 ARMATURE (rebus: A + right (R) + old (MATURE)) 13 STRUDEL (anagram: RUSTLED) 14 CEMENT (container: penny (CENT) ME) 15 RENAMED (anagram: MEANDER) 16 IDEAL (anagram: DELIA) 17 HOTHEAD (anagram: OH DEATH) 18 TAPESTRY (rebus: records (TAPES) + attempt (TRY)) 20 TERI (anagram: RITE) 21 RENOIR (rebus: about (RE) + 'black' French (NOIR)) 22 ASPIRE (rebus: snake (ASP) + anger (IRE)) 25 ADAGE (rebus: the year one (A. D.) + period of time (AGE)) 27 FESTOONED (anagram: OFTEN DOES) 29 RAPE (anagram: PEAR) 32 LESBIAN (hidden: juLES BIANca) 34 ARGUE (container: flu (AGUE) + right (R)) 35 VERA (rebus: victory (V) + proposed amendment (E. R. A.)) 36 PACKET (anagram: PECK AT) 38 SPACE (rebus: spelling (SP) + champ (ACE)) 40 HESITATE (hidden: sHE'S IT A TErm) 41 ANDES (anagram: SEDAN) 42 OWED (rebus: none (0) + married (WED)) 43 REEDS (anagram: SEDER) 44 INERTIA (anagram: that is (I. E.) + TRAIN) 46 DIANE (container: to have supper (DINE) A) 48 PRETENSE (rebus: before (PRE) + wound up (TENSE)) 49 ISLET (rebus: 'to be' third person (IS) + permitted (LET)) 50 SKEW (rebus: south (S) + London gardens (KEW)) 51 NOISE (container: NOSE - I) 52 COHERE (rebus: company (CO) + in this place (HERE)) 53 RINSE (anagram: SIREN) 54 SPENDS (rebus: south (S) + is uncertain (PENDS)) 55 ONSETS (anagram: STONES)

56 REST (double definition: WHAT REMAINS and SLEEP)

DOWN 1 MACHETE (anagram: TEACH ME) 2 ARMORED (rebus: A + room (RM) + OR + education (ED)) 3 DEMENTIA (anagram: DETAIN ME) 4 RATHER (double definition: PREFERABLY and ANCHOR) 5 ESTRANGES (anagram: GREATNESS) 6 STEED (container: South Dakota (SD)start golf game (TEE)) 7 IRISES (rebus: one (I) + grows (RISES)) 8 NUDE (anagram: DUNE) 9 ENDEARING (anagram: GRENADINE) 10 ALLEY (double definition: KIND OF CAT and MEWS) 12 UNDOES (rebus: international coalition (U.N.) + female deer (DOES)) 13 SMEARS (anagram: RAMSES) 19 PATENTED (rebus: Dad (PA) + went camping (TENTED)) 23 PORPOISE (rebus: Spanish 'for' (POR) + aplomb (POISE)) 24 REDUCED (container: RED - Mussolini (DUCE)) 25 ARCHER (double definition: HE WHO FLINGS ARROWS and MORE SARCASTIC) 26 GELATINS (anagram: GENITALS) 28 OASES (rebus: 0 + AS + E'S) 30 EAVESDROP (homophone: EVE'S DROP) 31 PRISTINE (anagram: PINTER IS) 33 BEATRICE (rebus: whacked (BEAT) + cereal (RICE)) 36 PANSIES (anagram: SAPIENS) 37 KNISHES (anagram: HE SKINS) 39 AWAKENS (anagram: KANE WAS) 45 ALERT (anagram: LATER) 46 DETERS (rebus: DETERGENTS - fellow (GENT)) 47 NEWEST (rebus: north (N) + east (E) + WEST) 48 PENS (double definition: WRITES and PRISONS)

N U T C R A C K E R S: Solutions

157

PUZZLE 21 page 72 RULE BRITANNIA This British-style cryptic required British-style persistence, but at the end we offered an American-style reward. If you solved all the clues correctly, you might have been able to infer the name of the Brits' two adorable leaders-to-be-they who will RULE BRITANNIA-in the two unclued entries. But it won't be until good Queen Bess gets her butt off the throne that her jug-eared son, "bonny" PRINCE CHARLES, will finally get to be king. King Charles III, to be exact, though PRINCESS DIANA, lovely as she is, will not get a Roman numeral. ACROSS DOWN 1 PUNGENT (pun: fellow with acrid sense of humor (PUN GENT)) 5 STRIP (rebus: southern (S) + vacation (TRIP)) 8 ICING (homophone: I SING) 9 BENGALI (anagram: BELGIAN) 10 CREVICE (container: Indian tribe (CREE) . Mr. Damone (VIC)) 11 ATTIC (rebus: prison (ATTICA) - A) 12 CLOTHE (rebus: to stop the blood (CLOT) + HE) 14 ACORNS (anagram: CARSON) 17 ASTER (rebus: catastrophe (DISASTER) princess Diana's did's)) 19 TRASHED (anagram: THREADS) 21 LARGELY (anagram: GALLERY) 22 NORMA (rebus: and not (NOR) + mother (MA)) 23 STORM (rebus: saint (ST) + OR + Frenchman (M)) 24 DILEMMA (homophone: herb (DILL) + Madame Bovary (EMMA))

1 see introduction 2 NAIVE (reversal: EVIAN) 3 and 15 ENGLISH CHANNEL (pun: THE BBC) 4 TABLET (anagram: BATTLE) 5 SANTA (container: South America (S.A.) . insect (ANT)) 6 REALTOR (rebus: genuine (REAL) + rock pinnacle (TOR)) 7 see introduction 13 ONTARIO (anagram: ORATION) 15 see 3 Down 16 STAYED (homophone: STAID) 18 RHEUM (container: drink (RUM) - HE) 20 HAREM (hidden: marsHA REMembers)

158

PUZZLE 22 MISFITS

page 74

If you added the proper letter to 20 of the answers-Snaked, salOon, sMoggy, Eyes, dErive, mariNa, mimiCs, i cHing, Amen, spaN, rapT, rEed, mopeDs, sparsE, seVers, recrEate, plateN, navIes, asseNt, and aspirinG-you might have realized you were making all the odd answers even. The added letters added up to SOME ENCHANTED EVENING, and in performing that "EVENING" you also memorialized Emile de Becque and nurse Nellie Forbush from South Pacific-perhaps the most musical MISFITS ever.

ACROSS 1 4 10 11 13 15 16 17 20 21 22 23 24 26 30 33 35 37 38 39 42 44 45 46 47 48 49

SOME (homophone: SUM) LASSIE (anagram: AISLES) SALON (anagram: LOANS) SOGGY (container: sauce (SOY) . Gigi (GG)) ACRE (anagram: RACE) LOOP (anagram: POLO) WARE (rebus: battle (WAR) + 'English' crown (E)) LIMA (container: Los Angeles (L.A.) - I'M) MADAME (container: ME - the first man (ADAM)) ICING (rebus: 'here' in France (ICI) + no good (NG)) RED (reversal: 'the' German (DER)) DRAM (hidden: DRAMa) SEAT (rebus: ocean (SEA) + piece of 'timber' (T)) DRIVE (anagram: VERDI) MOPES (container: months (MOS.) . gym class (PE)) CARMEN (pun: CAR MEN) TARP (anagram: PRAT) PRISSY (anagram: IS SPRY) ELAPSE (anagram: PLEASE) PLATE (anagram: LEAPT) VISA (rebus: victory (V) + IS + A) RECRATE (anagram: CATERER) DEMI (hidden: epiDEMIc) SEERS (homophone: SEARS) GREENS (anagram: GENRES) ESCAPEES (anagram: SEE SPACE) STAG (rebus: ONSTAGE - ONE)

DOWN 1 NAKED (rebus: early 'Kansas' returns (NAK) + Muskie (ED)) 2 MARIA (container: Onassis (ARI) in Massachusetts (MA)) 3 SOLACE (rebus: very (SO) + fine needlework (LACE)) 5 ANOMIE (reversal: sondhEIM ON Amphetamines) 6 SMUDGE (anagram: ED'S + GUM) 7 IOWA (hidden: radlO WAves) 8 AGREES (anagram: GREASE) 9 YES (hidden: trY EScaping) 11 SPA (anagram: PAS) 12 GAMETE (container: door (GATE) + ME) 14 CLARET (anagram: CARTEL) 18 MIMIS (pun: ME ME'S) 19 CHEERY (container: weep (CRY) . giggle (HEE)) 22 RAP (double definition: DISCUSS and ACCUSATION) 24 SMELTERS (rebus: turned up nose (SMELT) + Queen's (E.R.'S)) 25 ASPIRIN (anagram: IN PAIRS) 27 RAIL (reversal: LIAR) 28 VASTER (anagram: AVERTS) 29 MEN (hidden: arMENia) 31 DREAMS (rebus: 500 (D) + bundles of paper (REAMS)) 32 SPARS (double definition: BOXES and SHIP PARTS) 34 NAVES (rebus: north (N) + avenue (AVE) + south (S)) 36 ASSET (rebus: A + 157'/z-degree (SSE) + temperature (T)) 39 PEES (reversal: SEEP) 40 AREA (rebus: second person 'to be' (ARE) + A) 41 EASE (homophone: 'Chanel' no. 5's (E'S)) 43 IDES (anagram: SIDE)

N U T C R A C K E R S:

Solutions

PUZZLE 23 GENERAL CONTRACTOR

159

page 76

Ten of the clues required the services of a GENERAL CONTRACTOR. If you solved enough of the others, which were normal (so to speak), you might have realized that the contractor in questionspelled out along a diagonal-was the tiny, crucial APOSTROPHE. With its help, shell became SHE'LL; well became WE'LL; hell became HE'LL; wont became WON'T; cant became CAN'T; shed became SHE'D; wed became WE'D; were became WE'RE; id became I'D; and ill became I'LL.

ACROSS 1 ARM (rebus: A + room (RM)) 3 COCOAS (rebus: company (CO) + company (CO) + like (AS)) 8 STAB (reversal: BATS) 12 SPAWNED (rebus: south (S) + went into hock (PAWNED)) 14 AHEM (container: morning (A.M.) . HE) 15 WOE (homophone: WHOA) 17 LOST (anagram: LOT'S) 18 ELBA (reversal: ABLE) 19 SHELL (rebus: varnish (SHELLAC) - airconditioning (AC)) 21 WELL (double definition: HEALTHY and SOURCE OF WATER) 23 LORDS (homophone: LOURDES) 24 OWES (hidden: lOWESt) 27 LEI (homophone: LAY) 29 DETER (container: doctor (DR) - 'summer' in France (ETE)) 31 AWARD (rebus: A + dependent (WARD)) 33 DODO (homophone: DOUGH DOUGH) 34 HELL (hidden: HELLo) 35 AXLE (container: chopper (AXE) - piece of 'lightning' (L)) 36 OMEGA (hidden: hOME GAme) 37 ARROGANT (anagram: TARRAGON) 40 PEDIGREE (anagram: soldier (GI) + DEEPER) 42 OILED (anagram: OLDIE) 45 WONT (rebus: was the victor (WON) + time (T)) 48 CANT (double definition: LEAN and TENDENTIOUS ARGUMENT) 49 HOUDINI (anagram: TEN (10) + HINDU) 51 PULPIT (pun: PULP IT) 53 AUDEN (anagram: DUANE) 54 STEALTHY (anagram: SALTY THE) 55 TRESTLE (anagram: LETTERS) 56 DONATE (rebus: professor (DON) + took in (ATE))

DOWN 1 ASH (anagram: HAS) 2 MAO (pun: WRITER FOR RED BOOK) 4 CELLO (pun: CELL 0) 5 ODOR (rebus: get too high (O. D.) + OR) 6 ANSWER (hidden: romANS WERe) 7 SATE (anagram: EAST) 8 SHED (double definition: DROP-OFF and SHELTER) 9 TELL (pun: WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE) 10 AMBLER (anagram: MARBLE) 11 BRA (hidden: BRAn) 13 WED (double definition: MARRIED and MIDWEEK) 15 WHO (hidden: WHOre) 16 ELSE (rebus: trains (ELS) + east (E)) 19 SLID (container: SID - 50 (L)) 20 ERODED (anagram: DO DEER) 22 BIDET (anagram: BET I'D) 25 WERE (homophone: WHIRR) 26 SALOON (rebus: South American (S.A.) + bird (LOON)) 27 LAXALT (homophone: LACKS SALT) 28 ROMEO (rebus: eternal city (ROME) + nothing (0)) 29 DOG (rebus: DO + good (G)) 30 TEARS (double definition: RIPS and WATERS) 32 WAG (hidden: WAGes) 34 HAG (hidden: HAGgle) 38 REAPED (pun: RE-APED) 39 NET (double definition: FISHERMAN'S TOOL and THAT ISN'T GROSS) 41 ID (abbreviation: IMPORTANT PAPER (I.D.)) 43 ILL (abbreviation: diminished state (ILLinois)) 44 DUTY (double definition: TAX and JOB) 45 WHAT (anagram: THAW) 46 NUDE (anagram: DUNE) 47 TINT (container: dynamite (TNT) - I) 48 CITE (double definition: MAKE REFERENCE TO and FRENCH METROPOLIS) 50 OUR (hidden: cOURt) 52 PTA (anagram: APT)

160

PUZZLE 24 LETTERHEADS page 78 If you were wondering where to send hate mail concerning this puzzle's unaddressed clues, you should have checked their LETTERHEADS to find: A FRAME, B MOVIE, C SECTION, D DAY, E MINOR, F TROOP G STRING, H BOMB, I BEAM, K RATIONS, L SHAPED, 0 RING, P TOWN, Q TIP, S HOOK, T SHIRT, U TURN, V NECK, X RAY, Y CHROMOSOME. Now go get some Zs. ACROSS 1 ABASH (rebus: one (A) + party (BASH)) 3 ERECT (anagram: CRETE) 6 EDT (anagram: TED) 9 LOG (double definition: PIECE OF WOOD and DIARY) 11 HURTS (homophone: HERTZ) 12 AUDIO (rebus: German automobile (AUDI) + no (0)) 13 ABORT (hidden: gABOR Tour) 14 WORN (container: WON . right (R)) 16 TEA (anagram: EAT) 19 WACS (homophone: WAX) 22 MEAN (container: MAN - excellent (E)) 23 VOUCH (rebus: victory (V) + pain (OUCH)) 24 HAY (rebus: HARRY - railroad (RR)) 26 OURS (anagram: SOUR) 27 FIERY (anagram: FRY I.E.) 28 WAYNE (rebus: path (WAY) + northeast (NE)) 31 TYPOS (pun: TYPE O'S) 33 AFTERMATH (rebus: following (AFTER) + arithmetic (MATH)) 34 SERF (homophone: SURF) 35 TOR (reversal: ROT) 36 CLIMB (rebus: average (C) + branch (LIMB)) 38 NADIR (homophone: NADER) 39 ANNEAL (pun: A NEIL) 40 BOA (rebus: smell of perspiration (B.O.) + A) 41 ATOMS (rebus: A + cat's (TOM'S)) DOWN 1 ALIAS (rebus: formerly Clay (ALI) + AS) 2 HUNT (double definition: SEARCH and SHORT ACTRESS) 3 ERG (hidden: mERGe) 4 ESSO homophonee: S-O) 5 CAT (double definition: KIND OF PET and SCAN) 6 EDIT (reversal: TIDE) 7 DINE (hidden: sarDINE) 8 TOGAS (anagram: GOATS) 10 GROCERY (anagram: ERGO CRY) 15 RACY (pun: OF MARATHON)

17 EMU (rebus: first letter in 'English' (E) + letter in Greek (MU)) 18 INFER (homophone: IN FUR) 19 WURST (homophone: WORST) 20 CHRYSALIS (anagram: SHY CARL IS) 21 IOWA (hidden: curIO WAgon) 25 YES (hidden: eYES) 29 AFOOT (rebus: A + measurement (FOOT)) 30 DAMN (rebus: brought back 'mad' (DAM) + head of'nation' (N)) 32 ORION (container: ON . RIO) 35 THAT (hidden: wiTH ATtorney) 37 LASH (rebus: city of angels (L.A.) + quiet (SH)) 38 NATO (anagram: NO AT) 40 BOO (hidden: BOOb) LOST LETTERS K RATION (container: Kurosawa film (RAN) . Spanish 'uncle' (TIO)) I BEAM (rebus: BE + A + man (M)) C SECTION (anagram: NOTICES) V NECK (double definition: PART OF WOOD and SPOON) Y CHROMOSOME (anagram: SMOOCH MORE) B MOVIE (pun: MOVE E) S HOOK (rebus: HO + all right (OK)) T SHIRT (rebus: southern (S) + trumpeter (HIRT)) O RING (anagram: GRIN) P TOWN (anagram: WON'T) U TURN (homophone: TERN) G STRING (rebus: street (ST) + gang (RING)) A FRAME (container: FAME . little 'Richard' (R)) F TROOP (anagram: OR TOP) Q TIP (reversal: PIT) L SHAPED (container: SHED . news service (A.P)) E MINOR (homophone: MINER) X RAY (alternate letters: tReAtY) D DAY (anagram: headless 'lady' (ADY)) H BOMB (container: BOB . man (M))

N U T C R A C K E R S:

Solutions

161

PUZZLE 25 OUR MISS BROOKE

page 80

Thirty-two of the clues led to answers that would not fit in the diagram. If, as directed, you consulted the book at 31 Across-MIDDLEMARCH-you would have known what to do. For what is the MIDDLE of MARCH but R? When that letter was removed from the oversize entries, they fit smoothly into their spaces. Surely George Eliot would have endorsed this neat denouement; after all, she smoothly maneuvered OUR MISS (Dorothea) BROOKE into a happy marriage by page 340 of her 1871 novel. Unlikely? Yes. Satisfying? Yes.

ACROSS 1 UTERINE (anagram: REUNITE) 6 DOWAGER (rebus: make (DO) + bet (WAGER)) 12 NUDIST (anagram: DUSTIN) 13 RICOCHET (pun: RICK O'SHEA) 14 RACIST (rebus: most risque (RACIEST) energy (E)) 15 HOTSHOTS (pun: HOTS HOTS) 16 TECHNOCRAT (anagram: TRENCH COAT) 18 ESTER (homophone: ESTHER) 20 EAT (container: alien (E.T) - A) 23 SEVERS (anagram: VERSES) 24 DOPE (double definition: DRUG and INFORMATION) 26 ERASED (anagram: RED SEA) 28 LOAF (double definition: HANG OUT and BAGUETTE) 31 see introduction 35 TARES (anagram: STARE) 37 LAGOON (rebus: Tinseltown (L.A.) + thug (GOON)) 39 RUTH (double definition: MERCY and DOCTOR) 41 TENANTS (rebus: a number (TEN) + insects (ANTS)) 43 LIE (hidden: LIEd) 44 LIAISON (rebus: Long Island (L. I.) + topranked (A-I) + child (SON)) 46 REALISM (anagram: MAILER'S) 47 RICTUS (anagram: CITRUS) 48 TAMER (container: sticky stuff (TAR) -.-ME) 50 STIR (hidden: vaST IRanian) 51 DEPLORES (anagram: PL.O. + SEDER) 52 RAPT (homophone: RAPPED) 53 SEEDY (homophone: C. D.) 54 REDRAW (pun: RED RAW) 55 TINT (hidden: ninety-eighT IN The)

DOWN 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 17 19 21 22 25 27 29 30 32 33 34 36 38 40 42 45 46 49

UNRATED (anagram: DURANTE) TRUCE (anagram: CRUET) EDICT (anagram: CITED) IRISH (rebus: flower (IRIS) + hot (H)) ETHOS (anagram: THOSE) DIOCESE (anagram: ECO DIES) OCTAVE (anagram: AVOCET) WORSTED (double definition: BEAT and WOOL FABRIC) ACHES (rebus: air conditioner (AC) + HE'S) GHOST (rebus: government (G) + greeter (HOST)) ITSELF (anagram: STIFLE) NEEDLESSLY (rebus: annoys (NEEDLES) + Stallone (SLY)) TORAH (rebus: TO + cheer (RAH)) AROMATIC (pun: ARROW-MATIC) RUED (homophone: RUDE) PIED-A-TERRE (container: PIERRE DATE) ALAN (anagram: LANA) OCULIST (rebus: no (0) + copper (CU) + roster (LIST)) ATELIERS (anagram: EARLIEST) MORN (homophone: MOURN) AORTA (container: recovery program (A.A.) * scrap of food (ORT)) CHEMIST (rebus: revolutionary (CHE) + fog (MIST)) STIRRUP (pun: STIR UP) GRANTED (anagram: DRAGNET) TRISTAN (anagram: TRANSIT) SLEPT (anagram: PELTS) OBOE (hidden: hOBOEs) REARS (double definition: RAISES and ASSES) MAW (double definition: MAMA and MOUTH)

162

PUZZLE 26 FOLLOW THE LEADER

page 82

It's always important to follow directions; in this Nutcracker the directions we wanted you to follow carefully were the directions of the compass. If you solved the clues and were able then to FOLLOW THE LEADER, you realized how to enter your answers. Words beginning with N went north, with E went east, with SW went southwest-you get the picture. If you did that properly, you might have been able to fill in the blanks along the shaded periphery. There you found the names of four people whose sense of direction might be considered innate: OLIVER NORTH, CLINT EASTWOOD, ANN SOTHERN, and NATHANAEL WEST. 21 EROICA (container: ERICA - love (0)) ANSWERS 22 ELVISH (rebus: the King (ELVIS) + high 1 ERN (rebus: piece of 'excrement' (E) + nurse (H)) (R.N.)) 23 SWIGS (container: Nazis (SS) . hair 2 EELS (hidden: pEELS) replacement (WIG)) 3 SEVEN (container: SEEN around five (V)) 23 SEAN (hidden: uSE A Newspaper) 4 SEDAN (anagram: DANES) 24 EMIRS (anagram: MISER) 4 SWAYED (homophone: SUEDE) 25 SHOWER (anagram: WHORES) 5 ETHEL (hidden: bETH ELohim) 26 SWORD (pun: S WORD) 6 NEV (rebus: south of Israel (NEGEV) 27 WILL (double definition: ROGERS and General Electric (G. E.)) RESOLUTION) 7 WHATNOT (anagram: THAT WON) 28 SAW (double definition: LOOKED AT and 8 EGGS (double definition: ROE and IS CHESTNUT) ENCOURAGING) 29 SWAT (hidden: poisonouS WATer) 9 NO-NO (rebus: head of 'NBC' (N) + Mrs. 30 SNIT (anagram: ISN'T) Lennon (ONO)) 31 WHOLESALE (container: Orca (WHALE) 10 ERASE (container: Gaelic (ERSE) - A) . cries for bulls (OL9S)) 11 SNARES (anagram: NASSER) 32 NEWS (pun: ALL POINTS) 12 NIL (hidden: NILe) 33 ELIDE (hidden: dELI DElight) 13 EDDYING (rebus: Sullivan (ED) + passing 34 NAGS (double definition: HOUNDS and away (DYING)) HORSES) 14 SEIS (rebus: trucks (SEMIS) - a little 34 NET (reversal: TEN) 'money' (M)) 35 NUTS (rebus: Greek letter (NU) + Eliot 14 STRIPES (anagram: PERSIST) (T S.)) 15 NESTLE (container: born (NEE) + St. Louis 36 NOSES (double definition: SNOOPS Airport (STL)) AROUND and ORGANS) 16 WARDENS (pun: WAR DENS) 36 NEWSPRINT (rebus: novel (NEW) + race 17 NAUGHT (hidden: NAUGHTy) (SPRINT)) 18 NURSE (anagram: RUNES) 37 NOAH (pun: NO "AH") 19 EDAM (reversal: MADE) 20 SHELVES (rebus: SHE LOVES - hole (0)) 20 SEVERE (rebus: disconnect (SEVER) + 'phone' finally (E))

N UT CR AC K ER S:

Solutions16

163

PUZZLE 27 TRISKAIDEKAPHOBIA

page 84

Is there a 12-step program for people who fear the number 13? We don't know, but the four 13-letter words in this puzzle can't have helped.

ACROSS

DOWN

7 UMPIRE (anagram: IMPURE) 8 SEXTET (rebus: fornication (SEX) + New Year's in Vietnam (iTT)) 9 UNDERCURRENTS (pun: UNDER CUR RENTS) 10 HASTEN (anagram: ATHENS) 11WITHER (rebus: clever humorist (WIT) + That Girl (HER)) 12 EGGNOG (container: 'gone' back (ENOG) +two grand (GG)) 15 DIRECT (anagram: CREDIT) 17 PROLIFERATING (rebus: antiabortion (PRO-LIFE) + status (RATING)) 18 FIANCE (rebus: provide the money (FINANCE) - no (N)) 19 ISOLDE (anagram: OLDIES)

1 AMANDA (container: doctors' organization (AMA) - AND) 2 DISENTANGLING (rebus: princess (DI) + forced to go (SENT) + hunting for fish (ANGLING)) 3 BEACON (pun: BE A CON) 4 ESCROW (anagram: COWERS) 5 EXPECTORATION (rebus: anticipate (EXPECT) + long, impassioned speech (ORATION)) 6 SEEFTHE (rehbus: have a look at (SEE) + THE) 13 GARLIC (rebus: spilling contents of 'grail' (GARLI) + fifth of 'scotch' (C)) 14 GIFTED (anagram: FIDGET) 15 DARWIN (rebus: certain female descendants of early Americans (D.A.R.) + are victorious (WIN)) 16 CANADA (pun: CAN A D.A.?)

PUZZLE 28 WOODWORKER

ACROSS 1 Maydays

page 88

Acting is a craft like any other: it must be honed over the years. A movie star mother isn't enough. Just ask the ageless actress who says she is an ancient Egyptian ruler. Well, perhaps MIIA FARROW never actually said "Me a Pharaoh," but she does command the screen in most of Woody Allen's recent films. It's not so hard to carve a niche for yourself when you're such a frequent "WOOD" WORKER.

32 Susan Istanbul

4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16

el hose sheik anchor ant news asp IUD rude axe sets entrees cabaret

17 ode 18 part 19 enact 20 R. N. 21 i.e. 22 Gypsy 23 ads 24 tide 25 RR 26 aitch 27 arse 28 cat 29 eon 30 neon 31 bib 32 loyal

33 bald 34 slur 35 Kirk 36 cage 37 astronomers 38 seven

DOWN A Alexandria (big mouth of the Nile) B yesterdays C thunderous D underscore

164

PUZZLE 29 DIRTY WORK page 90 If you think producing clever lyrics for Broadway shows isn't DIRTY WORK, you should consult the risque songwriter who carried a lot of fuel to the stage. Alyric from his "Lets Do It"should convince you: "The most refined lady bugs do it when a gentleman calls. Moths in your rugs do it: What's the use of mothballs?" Who could the perpetrator of such fabulous smut be but COLE PORTER?

ACROSS

PUZZLE 30 AMERICAN STANDARD page 92 Life was simpler in the '50s, offscreen and on. Just ask the lightweight teen idol who searched for a diet soda. In movies such as Ride the Wild Surf and Operation Bikini, TAB HUNTER exemplified a questionable ideal of American youth-bland, blond, completely replaceable. Not surprising, then, that this AMERICAN STANDARD's performances are for the most part forgotten, flushed away into the sewers of filmland.

ACROSS

PUZZLE 31 GRIM REAPER

page 94

Some people seem to gather unhappiness to them-just ask the tragic actress who cultivated a part of Europe. FRANCES FARMER was tragic indeed-not so much in her roles as in her life. A Hollywood misfit, and alcoholic to boot, she spent much of the '40s in mental institutions reaping the grim benefits of electroshock therapy.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

act title Toto heir cash potato buffs lads racer smog hot cold one omelets Amy whet foul

pro bowl avocados Idaho Ionic Huron chaste amen Lucifer journal ignored unfolds

ACROSS 1 spoonful 23 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

spectrum tips Venus ivories napoleon unicorn ape calf striped Bert con Sam Papa

16 shy 19 beer 20 LSD 21 odd 22 stag 23 ATT 24 pack 25 pork 26 ace 27 Wrigley 28 Groucho 29 gin 30 pint 31 beret 32 enlist 33 son 34 comics

35 36 37 38

Asia Oscar Queens speed

DOWN A Commodores B toothaches C isometrics (iceometrics) D senescence (Seine essence)

25 26 27 28

A B C D

roughnecks wheelchair Stonehenge headlights

24

shtetls redials U.N. Welch Chaplin relight revenge acrobat anarchy Skin diet doll

15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28

ores ink Emma ire Avis gar dewdrop Poe whit It's duos glucose hex Defoe

29 30 31 32 33 34

pad Evita chew orchestra petal August

13 14 15 16 17 18 19

20 21

22 23

segments Ishtar Enid whorehouse

DOWN

DOWN A pentameter B fireproofs (fire proofs) C Upper Volta D polonaises (pollen-aise)

N UTC R A C K ER S: Solutions

PUZZLE 32 MAN OF LETTERS

165

ACROSS

page 96

Real men don't eat crow-just ask the selfpromoting author who uses an old French postal bag. Who could be more self-promoting than the unashamed author of Advertisements for Myself? And who could be a manlier MAN OF LETTERS than that lefty intellectual and pen pal to convicts, NORMAN MAILER?

PUZZLE 33 HOSTAGE

page 98

1 red

2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16

flesh clarinet flag U.N. Apr. luaus Bronx lasso Cuomo ex gab Tito ant puck egg

ACROSS 1 pillow

A man's house can be his prison-and he can be his own jailer, too. We refer to the overburdenedpolitician who towed a topping. Because JIMMY CARTER's term in office was not all Georgia peaches and cream. The last victim of the Iranian HOSTAGE crisis, he was shooed ignominiously from the White House by Nancy Reagan in 1981. By then, his warm, open personality had turned-temporarily-to something more like peanut brittle.

3 liar 4 lips 5 grad 6 verb 7 den 8 pot 9 revere 10 arc 11 wild 12 icicles 13 NATO 14 flu 15 Chan

PUZZLE 34 FIFTH ANNIVERSARY

ACROSS

page 100

In the old days, ostentation was frowned uponjust ask the Gothic painterwho would give thegift of lumber. Though the models were actually father and daughter, the pair of stiffs in GRANT WOOD's American Gothic have been taken as icons of rural matrimony ever since they were painted. Surely they observed the formalities. On their FIFTH ANNIVERSARY, they must have exchanged the requisite gifts. Chestnuts, perhaps?

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

asthma Should veterans steel chow digit helium haiku

9 C.W

10 11 12 13 14 15

wig vote aria nor drift Rx

17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32

sore ici

auto Igor pot sing try bench no Ma abhor free hot atlas NW daytime

16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30

act steroid Ebb What bid wand riotous IOU hogs

16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30

overdue sty foil pal ain't reb late stop ate ye music six ciao inkblot tooth

us

welts Annette thud oil hairdo

33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

Medici house bolts open Oscar chess San century

DOWN A enunciates B electronic C exaggerate D astronomer

31 32 33 34 35 36 37

bedbug quotas Oz Alamo Nixon snipped end

DOWN A irrational B Wellington C archbishop (arch bishop) D precaution

31 32 33 34 35 36 37

nylon nonstop bus angel tuxedo shah abyss

DOWN A starvation B accountant C thirteenth D nutritious

166

ACROSS 1 eclair 2 royal 3 right 4 sock 5 chef 6 peeve 7 Gemini 8 aloha 9 javelin 10 Ajax 11 Sir 12 ink 13 fete 14 Hancock 15 idea

16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30

gem

PUZZLE 36 GROWING PAINS page 104 Everyone's some kind of artist-just ask the nutty scientist who sculpted a part of Mount Rushmore. Director of agricultural research at Tuskegee Institute during the first half of this century, GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER helped revitalize the South by developing new uses for sweet potatoes, soybeans, and cotton. Even so, history, with its narrow eye, has reduced this painstaking ex-slave to Mr. Peanut.

ACROSS 1 Koch 2 census 3 bypass 4 pimp 5 nurse 6 lyrics 7 beep 8 Sur 9 OK 10 itty 11 hex 12 Soho 13 TNT 14 Sly 15 lamb 16 Rome 17 Our

18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34

mass yen end Emmy

PUZZLE 37 GAG ORDER

ACROSS 1 Ugly 2 abacus 3 Monaco 4 watt 5 tunnel 6 Xerox 7 sari 8 zebra 9 highway 10 anagram 11 plum 12 FCC 13 ode 14 bunt 15 el

16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30

corks self SST Tokyo So article ate comb yes brag dial Bic Elba PTA knife

PUZZLE 35

HEPCAT

page 102

Most cats don't like the rain, but that's not the case with the shady young screen star who takes a feline voyage. In movies such as Risky Business, Top Gun, The Color of Money, and Rain Man, TOM CRUISE struts his stuff like a puss on the prowl. When he takes off those ubiquitous shades, though, he looks more like a kitten than a HEPCAT.

page 106

If you can't stand people who stand for something, you won't think much of the plucky comic whom a private eye stifles. DICK SMOTHERS, who plucked the bass on his '60s variety hour, was plucky indeed. He and his brother Tom made antiwar gags until the gig was up and the gag was on them: CBS pulled the plug on their show. Twenty years later, they're occasionally back on the air as pitchmen: causeless, lame, and embarrassing. Maybe it's time to place a new GAG ORDER.

ice

arks zen serf skin Bah Alaskan gig Hyde rib veto annoy Ed Bethlehem

ancient

oboe fez I do Muti fro tons fiestas Lear sty Esther two cult

31 32 33 34 35 36 37

sneer gnu sex Uranus Wrath Tucson ask

DOWN A chandelier B reiterates C hijackings D chickadees

35 36 37 38 39 40

Japan AA shy psychos opted apple

DOWN A outlandish B elementary C spoonbread ("spoon" bread) D monumental

31 32 33 34 35 36 37

TWA April Eleanor relish Homer vat actors

DOWN A guillotine B blacksmith C Cinderella (fast "ball") D translator

NUTCRACKERS:

PUZZLE 38 YULE BE SORRY

167

Solutions

page 108

Irving Berlin wrote the standard version, but we like to think about the frightfully clever composer who had a yellow Christmas. NOEL COWARD, with his distaste for ostentatious displays of sincerity, would have feared the holiday season indeed. Amusing, entertaining, bright he may have been, but he was no blithe spirit, no joyeux Noel.

ACROSS 1 hangover 2 frog 3 Fuller 4 PA 5 urn 6 due 7 sleight 8 hay 9 echo 10 kiwis 11 re 12 Lucy 13 gym 14 tsar 15 TNT 16 unleash

PUZZLE 39 METROPOLITAN LIFE page 110 Some people are attended better after their death than during their life. Just think of the old king who used to play an unusual flute. Old, yes, but merely a boy, TUTANKHAMEN (toot uncommon) lived and died in the 14th century B.C. His tomb was discovered more than three millennia later, but it was New York City's METROPOLITAN Museum that brought him fully to LIFE, in 1978, with its necrophiliac show.

ACROSS

PUZZLE 40 RETREAT!

ACROSS page 112

Where do you go to relax when your slingshot's shot? You might try that very peaceful spot for a kitschy male statue. Michelangelo's masterpiece may not be kitschy, but the peaceful spot in suburban D.C. where Carter forged his Middle East accords was certainly camp. CAMP DAVID, that is. Bush should use it less as a RETREAT and more as a place to make treaties.

1 solo 2 disrespectful 3 spy 4 order 5 Nickelodeon 6 colt 7 A.P 8 kilts 9 Arabian 10 Thing 11 Rh 12 felt 13 sip 14 bale

I mini

2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

attar tops because Inn sheik offs Luft eats Afro CST aft pyre naughty Nina

17 itch 18 mas 19 Ado 20 veil 21 cob 22 Coco 23 or 24 reich 25 act 26 Wouk 27 jock 28 oil 29 Orville 30 PM. 31 Sousa 32 lava

33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 A B C D

aristocrat vernacular Laundromat physicists

15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30

31 32 33 34 35 36 37

ulcer Fe asking top yam us squash

win assigns gnash GI etude TD hat IOUs Cal quit ugly lie Alfalfa zed Mandela nun

16 Rev. 17 enemy

18 IV 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30

scarlet DTs arch gin pith oral cue Bedrock dice flu anagram G.E.

Maya schwa oak mutt stupor Idaho rest brass

DOWN

DOWN A orphanages B intriguing C forestalls (four stalls) D plaintiffs

31 32 33 34 35 36 37

estate Pacific pearl ass porn pseudonym push

DOWN A infantries B testicular C efficiency (kind of flat) D streetcars

168

PUZZLE 41 EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE

page 116

Politics makes strange bedfellows-as this Verbatim demonstrated. In it, we quoted GEORGE WALKER BUSH, who said in a 1988 speech before Idaho Republicans: "For seven and a half years, I have worked alongside [President Reagan], and I am proud to be his partner. We have had triumphs, we have made mistakes, we have had sex." According to press reports, Bush soon corrected this to setbacks, but the audience was already roaring with laughter. "I feel like a javelin thrower," Bush went on, "who won the coin toss and elected to receive." Indeed?

PUZZLE 42 FREEDOM OF ASSOCIATION page 118 The opening sentence of DIANA VREELAND's autobiographical memoir, D.V, is "I loathe nostalgia." She then proceeds to demonstrate the point with the loony story we excerpted in this Verbatim. "Swifty Lazar said, 'The problem with you, dollface, is that your whole world is nostalgic.' Imagine! I don't believe in anything before penicillin. I'll tell you what I do believe in. Back plasters. " If you think this style is the result of our editing, just read the hilarious, time-warping book. You'll find that Miss Vreeland brings new meaning, and new elan, to the concept of freedom of association.

A B C D E F G H

gaffer (blunderer) evanesce (author (Evan S.) Connell) overview (scene after the Apocalypse) rigatoni (rig a Tony) gay DDDDDDDDD ('90s) expressive (ex-press-ive: like former reporter) Westmoreland (personifies manifest destiny) attrition (a "Trician": follower of Miss (Tricia) Nixon) I libertines (libber teens: Steinem and Friedan in high school) J Kim Novak (no vac: didn't have Hoover) K "Ewe Are Woman" (song in Woolly Girl) L ramparts (ram parts: horns and hooves) M baaaaaa (endlessly sheepish) N upper case (amphetamine trial) 0 seersucker (mystic, lollipop) P HHHHHHHHHH (tenacious)

A Dolly lama (whom Channing consults) B

vilification (villa vacation)

C Duino Elegies (do we know elegies?) D ill will (sick Bard) E a rheum with ague (A Room with a View) F

G H

J K

L M N 0

New Yorick City (where Hamlet might seek a skull replacement) alliteration (a litter ration) valet of the Dahls (servant of Roald and Arlene) razor burn (raze or burn) eggs Benedict (urges Arnold) English muffins (muff-ins: hand-warmer conventions) lowest of the Lowe (most like actor Rob) a PPP (three-piece) suit (extremely quiet = ppp) nobility (no bill at tea) deer abbey (where buck goes to pray)

N U T C R A C K E R S:

Solutions

PUZZLE 43 PROCESS OF ELIMINATION

A rhythm method (way to learn percussion) page 120

Religion hasn't always been kind to women. Think of Joan of Arc-and think of the REV JERRY FALWELL, too. "The feminists and all these radical gals: most of them are failures," he said. "Some of them have been married but they married some Caspar Milquetoast who asked permission to go to the bathroom." Still, the PROCESS OF ELIMINATION doesn't always work the way preachers expect it to. Falwell's Moral Majority closed down in 1989.

PUZZLE 44 ISN'T IT ROMANTIC?

B eclipse (eek! lips!)

C vamoose (Va. moose: Virginia ruminant) D job security (Bible character has bond) E Eco chamber (room for writer) F Remarque (say) G ranch dressing (boots and spurs) H year of the hoarse (a time for shouting) fission chips (quarks and muons) J academia nuts (they love college) K Little Rock (Menudo) L wampum (whump 'em) M English Leather (in "Hide" Park) N littoral-minded (thinking about the seashore) 0 lambasted (lamb basted: prepared crown roast) A

page 122

We admit it-this Verbatim was cruel. But wasn't it romantic? The language, we mean? The excerpt in question (in French, sans accents) was from the HABANERA in Bizet's CARMEN: "L'amour est un oiseau rebelle que nul ne peut apprivoiser, et c'est bien en vain qu'on l'appelle, s'il lui convient de refuser. ... L'amour est enfant de Boheme, il n'a jamais, jamais connu de loi." Translated freely: "Love's a wild bird that can't be tamed, it's hopeless trying to catch it, it'll get away . . . Love's a gypsy child, completely lawless." Just like our Nutcrackers.

PUZZLE 45 WHITE LIE

169

hello Jung lovers (welcome to analytic convention) B anapest (Anna pest) C Bergman of Alcatraz (imprisoned director) D all fall down (throughout autumn, feathers) E nine lives (Nine lives) F EEEEE E pieces (Five Easy Pieces) G requiem (wreck wee Em) H amends (A.M. ends: it happens at noon) I contraband (contra band) J Annapolis (an apple is) K raisin hell (raisin' hell) L mosquito bite (Mo (Udall)'s Quito "bite") M exUUUUUUUUUUating (extenuating) (university = U) N Needle Park (annoy former Korean leader)

A asteroid (a steroid) page 124

Idols fall or are imperfect. Athletes use steroids, Homer snored. We don't want to hear about it. People should stay in the categories we've assigned them to: genius, savior, tyrant, Hun. Unfortunately, as this Verbatim demonstrated, people often refuse to stay put. Take ABRAHAM LINCOLN. "Negro equality! Fudge!" he exclaimed. "How long, in the government of a God great enough to make and rule the universe, shall there continue knaves to vend and fools to quip so low a piece of demagogism as this?" Honest he may have been, by his lights, but honesty is not always enough of a policy.

B brave gnu whirled (Brave New World)

C Ringling Brothers (ring Ling brothers) D Ashkenazi (ashcan Ozzie) E hot potOOOOOOOO (potatoes) F apothegm (opossum, lisped) G mannequin (manna kin) H legend (ledge end) Ivy League (IV league) J now and FFFFer (NOW and forever) K Catskill Mountains (cat skill) L oversexed (O verse x'ed) M locomotives (loco motives) N nightingales (knight in gales)

170

PUZZLE 46 THE BRIDE WORE LEAD

A

page 126

You'll need more than a condom if you want to have safe sex these days. Just ask an unnamed GOV'T SCIENTIST. "What do you think you get more radiation from," he asked Edward Teller, "leaning against an atomic reactor or your wife? All human beings have radioactive potassium in their blood. ... You get just a bit more from Dresden III than from your wife." Yeah, but when was the last time your wife exploded because of faulty rods?

C

PUZZLE 47 DISORIENTED

A

page 128

People whose English is less than perfect sometimes use it most poetically. Or at least most mysteriously. The Verbatim in question was taken from the menu at UNIQUE SZECHUAN in Manhattan's Greenwich Village. "Gourmandize's Trio," it offered. "Tender white meat chicken, fresh sea scallops and choiced jumbo shrimps stirred fried skilly, a magic way to turn-over those stuffs in the wok to touch on green-scallion." Sound weird? Well, try describing apple pie in Cantonese.

get the lead out (fire the star)

B out of ordure (no shit!) Vanity Fair(Prince's mediocre protegee)

D topical anesthetic (relevant "number") E Song of My Elf (Whitman work) F chowderhead (chowed her head: what the cannibal did)

G immaterial girl (Madonna when dead) H Enema of the People (social purge) l

J K L M

no miners admitted (X-rated cave) tongue depressor (Russia, to Latvian) I Am a Chimera (Isherwood on Halloween) suppuration anxiety (fear of pimples) The Thornburghs (Bush cabinet officer's family)

United Mine Workers (you knighted mine workers) B New Amsterdam (knew (Morey) Amsterdam) C "I Am a Rock" (I am Iraq) D Quayle eggs (politician urges) E udder chaos (complete mess for cow) F Ella fits Gerald (serves as (Gerald) Ford's tailor) G Simon Seize (Paul (Simon) becomes 16th king of France) H zucchinis (zoo-kinis: animal swimsuits) I effeminate (FM in it) J CCCCCCC (seven seas) (cubic centimeter = cc) K HHHHH (vivacious) (hydrogen = H) L upper story ("upper" story) M Attila the Hunk (Mongolian stud) N No No Nonet (forbids chamber-music group)

N U T C R A C K E R S: Solutions

PUZZLE 48 A SEPARATE PIECE

171

A

page 130

Women look for style when they shop-and gun manufacturers are finally letting them have it. The Verbatim in question quoted an ad for THE TITAN TIGRESS, a .25-caliber revolver. "This designer ... pistol fulfills a woman's protection and fashion needs," it read. "Ivory-like grips are complemented with a long-stemmed red rose . .. then encased in a gold lame petite zippered pouch." So drop that clunky mans gun, gals-now you can have A SEPARATE PIECE.

B C D E F G H J K

toadstools (toad's tools: strong legs and a quick tongue) hell toupee (on Burt Reynolds's head) Eiffel Tower (eyeful Tower) trampoline (tramp-o-lean: diet plan for prostitutes) icon (Icahn) Travels with My Ant (formicologist's novel) amazing race ("Amazin' Grace") nose cone (no scone) the DDDDDD (the '60s) (near failure = D) implement (imp lament) Geraldine RRRRo (Geraldine Ferraro) (railroad = RR)

PUZZLE 49 SACRED COW

L M N 0

red pepper (Commie enthusiast) elfin (el fin) SSSSSS story (success story) (ship = SS) Singing in Bahrain (Arab musical)

A

Mother Hubbard (her child founded Scientology) Ovaltine (oval teen) HHHH (voracious) (4H Club) Ali Baba (heavyweight dessert) nighttime (Knight Time: magazine in Camelot) doubloons (dub loons) accessory (X, S, or E) studious (stud IOUs) Kathmandu (catman do) germinate (German ate) aggrandizement (a grand eyes meant) necessities (Ness S.A.T s) dot dot dot (S in Morse code) heathen (heat hen) 1111 (four eyes) (egotistical = 1, 1, 1, 1)

page 132

One man's meat is another man's poison, as this Verbatim demonstrated. "I do not consider Hitler to be as bad as he is depicted," said MOHANDAS K. GANDHI in May 1940. "He is showing an ability that is amazing and he seems to be gaining his victories without much bloodshed." Not terribly prescient for a man called Mahatma by millions. One month later, Paris was burning. But it just goes to show that even a Great Spirit can be blinded by a big enough lie.

B C D E F G H I J K L M N

0

172

PUZZLE 50 DR. STRANGELOVE

page 134

Forgive us the indulgence of quoting GEORGE WALKER BUSH again, but we find him irresistible. You remember how last time he admitted having sex with President Reagan. This time, defending his policy of pillaging national parkland, he proclaimed, "It was said once, remember, when they built the [Alaska] pipeline, 'Don't build the pipeline, you get rid of the caribou.' The caribou love it. They rub up against it and have babies." Is that all there is to it? If only we'd known! Bush went on to say there were more caribou in Alaska now "than you can shake a stick at." No doubt he's tried.

PUZZLE 51 PHILOSOPHY MADE HARD page 136 Love life in trouble, men? Try this cocktail from LATE (well, we don't know whether it's late or not, but anyway he's dead) ARISTOTLE. "Erection is chiefly caused by scuraum, eringoes, cresses, crymon, parsnips, artichokes, turnips, asparagus, candied ginger, acorns bruised to powder and drunk in muscadel, scallion, shellfish, etc." Given what the ancients knew about the biochemistry of sex, it's surprising there are moderns around to make fun of them.

A good guys (good guise) B ethereal (a cereal, lisped) C Oui People (wee people) D romantic (Roman tic) E guessed (guest) F entity (end to tea) G which Hazel (the maid on TV)? H atrophy (a trophy) little bit ((Rich) Little bit) J Krafft-Ebing (Kraft ebbing: cheese dropping) K eustachian tube (U station on London's tube) L rubber banned (FDA announcement regarding condom) M blind ambition (to acquire Levolors) N urination ("You're a nation!") 0 schwa de vivre (joie de vivre) P heir apparent (air apparent)

A B C D E F G H

local anesthetics (lo-cal anesthetics) Aaron Brrrrr (frigid duelist) Tennessee Williams (tennis-y Williams) eastern seaboard (Asian surfing equipment) accrues ship (what the magnate does) runners-up (carpets are rolled) increasing ("in" creasing) summery judgment (wearing lightweight robes) I The Happy Hookah (fun with water pipe) J outgoing (office mail that's gregarious) K tissue of lies (Kleenex fraud) L lackadaisical (without a flower) M Eddie Fisher (eddy fisher: he angles in a whirlpool)

N U T C R A C K E R S: Solutions

PUZZLE 52 BIRDS AND BEASTS page 138 Sexuality is sacred, and who better than yammering right-wing doyenne PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY to make sure you damn well keep it that way? In this Verbatim we quoted her saying, "It's very healthy for a young girl to be deterred from promiscuity by fear of contracting a painful, incurable disease . . . or sterility, or ... giving birth to a dead, blind, or brain-damage [sic] baby.' Later in the same speech, she went on to call sex education classes "in-home sales parties for abortions." Perhaps her biography should be called The Killjoy of Sex.

173

A

Paley ontology (paleontology)

B Haight-Ashbury (hate John) Ashbery) C

Yogi Berra (yogi bearer)

D Lucille Ball (loose eel ball) E

liposuction (lip o' suction)

F in vain (in vein) G sadder Budweiser (sadder but wiser) H standoffish (stand of fish) centimeter (sent to meet her) J Hemming Way (Hemingway) K loo grant (Lou Grant) L addiction (a diction) M forty RRRRRRRRR (forty-niners) N liability (lie ability) 0 "You be Blake" (Eubie Blake)

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Most of these Nutcrackers were originally published in 7 Days. It was Pat Towers, executive editor of that much loved, short-lived New York weekly, who first suggested we might try our hands at a puzzle column. And it was Adam Moss, 7 Days' editor, who approved the enterprise. Diane Cardwell, who actually oversaw the column, solved every clue, every week-and made thousands of invaluable suggestions. Copyediting the Nutcrackers was a task in some ways more difficult than solving them, and we are grateful to Mark Carson and Susan Chumsky for their herculean-if quizzical-efforts. Eric Palma, who drew the illustrations that accompanied many puzzles, has graciously allowed us to reprint some of them here; to him and the rest of the art department, our thanks. We must also acknowledge Barbara Davison and the 7 Days production staff for solving a multitude of problems and making it all fit. And finally we would be remiss in not mentioning Richard Panek, husband to one of us and friend to the other, who was helpmate and guinea pig for many of our verbal experiments.

"Ingenious... Everyone who hopes to preserve agility f this book. These puzzles are the aerobicsof he so" The most innovative, witty, and challenging puzzles I the first time in abook. The 54 puzzles in this devimo acrostics, word searches, and letter mazes, but eac pattern. Filled with strange clues and unexpected answer mind-twisters sure to stretch your imagination and fluent in minor ancient Egyptian deities, native birds e to solve one, you do have to immerse yourself seems. Graded for difficulty, Netcrackers will I most seasoned solver. -

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