Myths and Masters of The Game

TABLE OF CONTENTS Author’s Note -iAcknowledgements -v-

1 Chapter One - Inception 10 Chapter Two - Creaky Foundations 21 Chapter Three - Sex Gods? 30 Chapter Four - Day Game 42 Chapter Five - Man Game 50 Chapter Six - Girl Fever 60 Chapter Seven - First Council 70 Chapter Eight - Loving Love 76 Chapter Nine - BAM! BAM! BAM! 91 Chapter Ten - The Soul Gaze 100 Chapter Eleven - “You are so beautiful” 106 Chapter Twelve - Home Study 112 Chapter Thirteen - The Viking 120 Chapter Fourteen - Pitfalls 123 Chapter Fifteen - Characters 129 Chapter Sixteen - Smile and Loud 137 Chapter Seventeen - Becoming Natural 147 Chapter Eighteen - “Are you ovulating?” 153 Chapter Nineteen - Dead Squirrels and Vibrating Whips 162 Chapter Twenty - The Change 166 Chapter TwentyOne - Epilogue 170 Chapter TwentyTwo - Character Index

Author’s Note

As a journalist, I have covered elections, wars, recessions and hotbutton issues in dozens of countries for more than 20 years – from Colombia to the Philippines, Afghanistan to the Ivory Coast. But this book was inspired by a chance meeting I had at a local pub. I frequently went to the pub after work to read a book, somewhat antisocially. I would usually see another man there, in his late 20s, also sitting in the pub and reading a book. Eventually, we fell to talking. The man, now a banker, told me of the years he spent in a semisecret world of pickup artists, seducing women in North America. That was unusual enough. But he then told me he would do it with the aid of scripted routines, the study of female psychology and memorized lists of attributes that, he said, women found attractive. What’s more, he said, this was quickly becoming a subject taught in informal classrooms throughout North America and Europe. When I got home that evening, I Googled “pickup artists.” The man was telling the truth. Still, there was a question as to whether the techniques these men were talking about would actually work. I quickly caught wind of a social experiment going down that promised to transform men’s lives through self-improvement and the study of dating. A company called Love Systems – which would take six men, school them day and night for two months, and see how much they could improve. I had caught wind of Project Rockstar. I contacted the organizers, identified myself as a journalist, and started my research. This book stems from it. The reactions I received after I started working on it have ranged from curt snubs to overwhelming enthusiasm. - i -

Myths and Masters of the Game In the years I spent researching this Community, I began to speak about it more and more at social events. I started recounting to friends, family and complete strangers the details of the training of a pickup artist. Almost all of them, whether they were for or against the idea, immediately asked me two questions:   1.  Do these pickup techniques really work? Answer: Yes.

2. What are the pickup lines and tricks? Answer: Umm …   I resisted telling them as often as I could. When talk comes to the growing Community of pickup artists, society at large focuses on the opening lines, the flashy clothes and sneaky tricks. That is part of the reason the Community of pickup artists has such an unsavory reputation. The fascination for the lines, while stemming from natural curiosity, misses the point. I would prefer to delve into the psychology behind the lines but for that I would need limitless time - or a book. During my work as a foreign correspondent for international news organizations, I had lived on leper colonies in Brazil, survived numerous ambushes and sniper attempts while covering the war in Kosovo and climbed an erupting volcano in communist-rebel territory in the Philippines. I have gotten to know presidents and prime ministers in a dozen nations during political coverage and befriended drug dealers and professional hit men on several continents during the less savory coverage. But few experiences have changed me as much as the years I spent researching the psychology behind the pickup movement. The Community started out with made-up lines and routines, hypnosis techniques meant to mesmerize a woman all the way to bed and a focus on flashy clothing and instant gratification. That is still the case in some of the movement today. But I discovered a much deeper groundswell from within the Community. This has been spearheaded by a company called Love Systems and several of the freelance instructors and professional dating coaches who fit under the company’s umbrella. - ii -

Author‘s Note The Community today is as likely to expand on the self-improvement techniques of Tony Robbins or Napoleon Hill, philosophize over ideologies of Ayn Rand and investigate behavioral implications of Candice Pert and other groundbreaking neuroscientists, as to trade ideas about how to get a woman into bed. Indeed, the greatest pickup artists are usually the ones who shun the very term “pickup artist” that was made popular on VH1’s The Pickup Artist, countless videos on YouTube and the groundbreaking expose The Game. Now, the best of the best focus less on the lines and tactics, and more on the integral change that makes a man truly more attractive. And so, on a research trip to London in 2008, I met “dating coach” Jim Stark. To this day, years later, he is saved in my mobile phone as Mr. M – the moniker under which one list pegs him as the seventh-best pickup artist in the world. To many fans, Mr. M captures dreams and possibilities. What I met, over sushi rolls, was an unassuming young Asian who, at five-foot and a bit, was even shorter than me. He spoke of mirror neurons and peptides, subconscious behaviors, the development of confidence and other subjects that mostly went over my head during the early days of my research. I, too, was interested in the pickup lines and was curious to see a real pickup artist in action, approaching and seducing a woman. Out of politeness, I didn’t ask him to demonstrate. I saw it later anyway, hundreds of times. But the two years of research I did spiral inevitably back to that initial conversation. I suppose that process of researching the glitz only to stumble on real substance was the same process that pickup artists go through if they really are to become good. In that meeting over sushi, Jim said that, if I were to write a book about pickup artists, I would have to learn to roll with them. I would need to learn their signals, the unspoken understandings that bound them together, and study the potential gaffes that could lead to a loss of respect. If I remained ignorant of their methods, I could not observe them from close up without the women finding the interaction weird. The mere presence of a journalist can hinder not only the pick up, but the gradual evolution of the man who is performing it. So, I would not only observe pickup artists in action, I would eventually employ their methods, and change with them. - iii -

Myths and Masters of the Game I had just been divorced from a 10-year marriage and moved to Romania, my ex-wife’s native country, to be close to my daughter. I worked alone, lived alone, and knew nobody for thousands of kilometers around. My free time consisted mainly of reading – always alone. After meeting Jim, and during the following months of travel in Europe, I dated a dozen women and made many male friends, ranging from corporate executives to bankers to modeling agents to pickup artists. I ended up going out about six days a week. My social agenda jumped from zero to overwhelming. The change started, I guess, with pickup lines and techniques. But most of the women I dated are still good friends of mine. And the men are now life-long buddies. That didn’t happen through pickup lines. And there is the gold to be found in the Community. Done right, the Community teaches men to become better. Not just better at meeting women. It teaches them to become more attractive - to discover their own weaknesses and work on them, to instill a curiosity and genuine like of other people. They learn true self-respect and confidence. As Jim says, the Community is teaching “things the best dads should teach their sons about being real men”. Enter “Project Rockstar”. Six weeks of pickup training? Selfimprovement? Bedding numerous women? At the start of the training, when I first moved into the so-called Rockstar Mansion and met the students who were to be groomed into Rockstars, I saw nervous boys anxious to learn more techniques and pickup lines. In the first half of the program, they learned to be pickup artists – they had the techniques and lines down pat and were showing great success with women. In the second half of the program, they learned NOT to be pickup artists. They learned that lines and routines could only get them so far. After that, it was about self-improvement. It was about becoming better men. In the first half, I would accompany them to bars and they would scatter throughout the venue, seeking opportunities with women. By the end, they would enter a bar – and the attention of the partiers would turn to them. A million subconscious signals would capture women’s, and even men’s, attention. “Who are you?” was a question women commonly asked of them - iv -

toward the end of their training. They looked, and felt, like Rockstars.

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Myths and Masters of the Game

Acknowledgements

During my research, I had the support and encouragement of countless people. I would like to thank James Lawson, one of the friends I made early on in my studies. His circumstances at the time were similar to mine – he had just ended a long marriage and moved to a new country. So, James, thanks for the encouragement and the whisky, the winging and the advice. And thanks for providing an example of strength and a good model of dominance. And to Colin, my friend since I was a teenager. Thanks for the belief and the support. You, more than anybody, witnessed the changes. I’d like to thank some of the men who were trained in the pilot program of Project Rockstar in 2008. Jesse Krieger has gone on to fabulous success with business in China and Jonathan Green has started his own seduction training and has now fulfilled his dream of living in Hawaii. And I would like to thank countless of others but I don’t really have the space. So, to Daniela, whom I dated for a year during my research. To your openness and curiosity. And to Roxana, whom I met using classic pickup techniques and have since married. You served as a model in many ways. In terms of this book, you and your social intelligence served as a model for the ease and grace that many pickup artists aspire to. So many people are drawn to you with barely more than a word spoken. And I am lucky. -- Adam Brown - vi -

Inception

Evolutionary biologists at Arizona State University noted that dominant male New Jersey Barn Swallows generally had darker breast feathers than their beta male counterparts. As an experiment, the scientists bought a few dozen black felt markers for a 2008 bird makeover. They darkened the light-colored males - the ones most frequently bullied, outcast, and ignored by the females. The females flocked to the newly darkened birds. The newly colored birds started exhibiting dominant behavior and a marked increase in testosterone. They overthrew the overlords in a week. A deft hand and careful thought, it seems, can provoke an upheaval in the mating order.

SWAYED TO THE MUSIC WITH THE GRACE OF A STALKING D ANIEL panther. Muscles drawn taut under black leather made minimal movements

with maximum effect, drawing glances from people who hadn’t noticed him until the song began. He was used to it - the effect of years of training in dance, acting, body language, intense workouts and a cultivated understanding of how others perceived him. As a professional stage actor, he had even captivated thousands of people at a time. At the party, his movements illustrated coordination, agility and speed. Ten thousand years ago, the same movements around a tribal bonfire would - 1 -

Myths and Masters of the Game have spoken of prowess in the primal skills of hunting and fighting. These were the skills that attracted females who sought protection from clubwielding cavemen, a steady supply of meat, and good genes for their children. In today’s world, at an invite-only party at a mansion in London’s chique West End, Daniel’s movements also spoke of confidence and coolness - of a man whose girlfriend would draw the envy of her friends.  The movement, even amid the champagne glasses and prawn hors d’oeuvres of 2009, was inspired by the same primal instinct that drew women to the dancer around the bonfire in 10,000 b.c. To the sharp-witted, sultry Italian brunette who stood mesmerized a few steps away, the movement also suggested that Daniel could be a hard man to keep. A man high on testosterone - the hormone of a firm jaw, unbridled ambition, and a wandering eye. Alessandra had fallen for him two months earlier.  She watched and swayed slowly as the strobe light fractionated Daniel’s rhythm. His eyes darted toward her, then away - a laser from the blackness of his skin. They had met weeks earlier in Leeds, when Daniel, the actor, was starring in a play about racist policemen in the 1960s. Alessandra’s first glimpse of Daniel was on stage. In front of thousands, he walked with a stooped shuffle. He spoke with a wild, oscillating Nigerian accent and his eyes reflected the paranoia and hysteria of a black immigrant who had suffered years of beatings and persecution at the hands of police as he slept rough on the streets of working-class Leeds. For the performance, he drew on the cloistered clumsiness of his teen years, when the real-life Daniel would cast his eyes downward and stutter if a woman talked to him. Now, after years of training, Daniel was not only keenly aware of the signals his body and facial expressions were giving off. He was also a man with a honed skill for spotting the unconscious signs of others. And those others paid him, and others like him, hundreds of thousands of dollars to learn the coveted skill of succeeding with women. Daniel was an underground guru in the art of seduction - he taught men how to pick up women. Like the Jersey Barn Swallows, Daniel had changed. And the change was real. The change was so complete, in fact, that he was voted the top pickup artist in the world by at least one of the lists kept by people who were keeping tabs on such things. This makeover came from no felt marker. Daniel had trained for years with other men to learn the subtleties of attracting women. Some of his mentors were geniuses, some of them were strange, and many of them were both. But he learned self-confidence, the - 2 -

Inception subtleties of male-female interaction, and techniques to introduce a sexual pique to a conversation. In his case, he also learned how to enhance the masculine advantages that he already had but couldn’t see. After the play, Daniel spotted Alessandra and approached without hesitation. She was stunned by the shift in demeanor off stage. From a half-crazed homeless man emerged the real, new, Daniel – an upright, proud and quietly confident Londoner who spoke with an offsetting sincerity and directness. She soon fell in love. She didn’t know that he had been speaking from a script, honed over years of attracting women. While he could switch seamlessly from Oluwale to Othello on stage, Daniel would always keep that less public role of Casanova. His role, for now, earned him more money than his acting, brought him into higher and higher social circles and sponsored his frequent travel to Los Angeles, New York, Miami, Paris, Stockholm and other major cities worldwide. He was also gaining renown among the thousands of ambitious young men who read of his social exploits in online forums and followed his videos, with his face blurred, on For Vercetti and many of his colleagues, YouTube and websites the goal had not been to simply work such as The Attraction their way into the higher strata of society. Forums, the world’s It was mainly to see if it could be done. largest free forum of dating advice for men. In that community, he was known as Vercetti. Daniel Vercetti. More people now knew him by his pseudonym than his real last name, which he kept hidden. Just behind Alessandra at the West End mansion, among the odd mix of champagne-sipping poets, lingerie models, rhythm and blues musicians, psychologists and cocaine-snorting porn stars, Vercetti’s friends lingered, chatted, and experimented. Beside them, Lord Davenport stood under a wall-sized digital screen flashing the welterweight championship fight between Ricky Hitman Hatton, an acquaintance of his, and the Filipino contender, Manny Pacquiao. Davenport stood chatting casually about music with Ringo Starr’s granddaughter, who had just started her own band. Vercetti’s friends had trained and practiced for moments like these - times to shine among celebrities and meet women who grew up in circles that had been until recently restricted to most of the men. 33 Portland Place, the 300-year-old mansion owned by the perma-tanned Lord, known as “Fast Eddie” by the U.K. paparazzi, aspired to be London’s answer - 3 -

Myths and Masters of the Game to the Playboy mansion. The poolroom had hosted Amy Winehouse, who shot her video for her hit single Rehab in the pool room. Behind Vercetti was the staircase that Kate Moss ascended in lingerie ads and short films for Agent Provocateur in one of the sexiest slinks on television. Johnny Depp celebrated his birthday here, Mick Jagger had pranced, Prince William drank and Hugh Grant had charmed. There was no telling who might show up tonight or what opportunities could present themselves to Vercetti and his friends. For Vercetti and many of his colleagues, the goal had not been to simply work their way into the higher strata of society. It was mainly to see if it could be done. And done on knowledge of psychology and a carefully honed charm alone.  Vercetti left Alessandra as she made small chat with another woman. The next time he would see her that night, her white lacy blouse would be covered in wine stains and she would be biting back tears as she dashed out onto the shadowy streets of 3 a.m. London. Vercetti joined Jim by the bar. Like all his closest friends, he ordered a glass of tonic water, keeping his head clear. Vercetti was a professional and, however pleasurable, this was work. “Mate, this fucking conscience thing is killing me,’’ he said, clutching a hand to his heart and motioning with his eyes to Alessandra. ``I feel it here -- like real pain. I know there’s gotta be a biological root to it - it has to be telling me something. I care about her but I have to make the break with her. I’m 27 - too young for a relationship. “This skill with women is also a curse, man. It makes it damn hard to settle down. I know you don’t have to settle for just any woman…but sometimes it seems like I might end up settling for none, y‘know?’ Talking to anybody else, Vercetti could feasibly get away with saying that women are simply magnetically attracted to him. All evidence pointed to it. But Jim knew Vercetti was right in calling it a skill. Like Vercetti, it was something Jim had learned. Life had not been like this five years ago. Jim Stark, an Indonesian-born, Australian-raised, Chinese immigrant to London, has never been overtly hit on by a girl at first sight in his life. But now he is the first man whom friends would approach when talking about women. Jim is no stranger to the problems brought on by success with the opposite sex. He had nurtured a genius for analysis and turned it into a comprehensive, often Machiavellian strategy that was snowballing, gathering more and more outliers - 4 -

Inception and ambitious young men. “Man, places like this are the icing of life,’’ Jim told Vercetti. “After working so hard to make the cake here, you have to enjoy the icing.’’ Jim’s actions belied his words. He was always thinking - and thinking was working. Even when flirting with the cocktail waitress, talking with his buddies, waiting in line outside high-society West End clubs, his mind was absorbing any information of potential use. And work tonight meant he had a buxom Persian girl on one side of him and a petite blonde on the other, her hand warming the nape of his neck. To onlookers, it seemed Jim was accustomed to this attention, perhaps he was a movie producer or millionaire or a trust-fund kid with a life of luxury and easily fulfilled expectations. Only his few close friends at the party, his inner circle, knew the truth. He hadn’t even managed to kiss a girl until he was 21. Even then, it was more an awkward mercy kiss from her. Growing up under the 1980’s subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) racism, the dark, diminutive Asian withdrew socially amid taunts and disdain of schoolmates raised to the macho standards of Australia - Crocodile Dundee and outback punch ups. It He had nurtured a genius for analysis and turned was a country that rejected flowers and beads for it into a comprehensive, often Machiavellian men in the 1960s. The strategy that was snowballing, gathering more sensitive “90s man” never and more outliers and ambitious young men. made it there, nor did the immaculately groomed metrosexual a decade later. Nerdy, eyeglass-wearing bookworms, Jim found out, had a tough time with both boys and girls. Australian women often reveled in the machismo of their men. Through his late teens, Jim pined for Belinda, the cute but mousy girl from the outback who he thought was his only chance at having a girlfriend. He pined over her day and night for more than a year, dreaming of the moment he could hold her hand. But she always held the hand of others. He could not provide her with the manliness that she so desired. His fondest memories of his youth were not of friends and parties, but of his victory in the state public speaking competition, delivering a rousing speech on the topic of “caterpillars turning to butterflies.” It earned him a spot on the national delegation to the United Nations Youth conference in Prague and instilled the academic confidence he needed to graduate in Australia’s top percentile, apply for the country’s top law school and, on graduation, score - 5 -

Myths and Masters of the Game job offers from eight of the world’s top corporate law 10 firms. But the speech would only be a metaphor for his later life. Jim was accepted by Goldman Sachs, Linklaters and Rothschild Investment Banking but rejected repeatedly by Belinda and the few other girls he had contact with. While he worked as a teaching assistant at Law School, he pined for Belinda, tried to befriend her slowly and cautiously, and planned for the life they just maybe could have together. But even the shy Belinda proved she could outwit Jim in matters of the heart. She called him the day before a major exam. Amid bookworm flirts, halfpromises and slightly racy suggestions about going for a drink sometime, she asked him for a copy of the exam that only he and the professor could access. “The moment I pressed `send’ on my computer, I knew something was wrong in my life. I felt it to my bones,’’ Jim later told a journalist. ``I swore I would never speak to her again. And I swore that my life would change in a major way.” After much self-exploration and Googling, Jim found himself in rural West Africa - studying to become a monk.   The buzz of the room at 33 Portland Place - the music, clinking glasses, a hundred elevated conversations from “I a dozen rooms, flirty giggles and macho guffaws - were up p made r I s omise a follo now familiar to Jim, even comforting. Those sounds, to w w and even the smell of chlorine from the 20-person survive ore tha myself my l d, I t, if . Jacuzzi with champagne-drinking models in the ife I wou t n o next room, faded as he spoke of his past. He hold o the ld live s ba fulle fingered the magnetic monk beads that he still rre st, d.” wore during his travels through the world of playmates and powerhouses. Only four years ago, the most familiar sound was the monotone of a single elderly male voice in the inky nights at the edge of a musky Ghanaian rainforest. For weeks on end, he would listen every night, after the blood-orange tropical sunsets faded and plunged the jungle in musky darkness, to the monologues of Dada Shivesh, the bearded, orange-robed Indian monk and yoga guru who was grooming him for religious initiation in rural Ghana. “The nights were almost claustrophobic,’’ Jim said, - years later and a world away. “It was so dark I couldn’t even see him. We sat on the bench for hours, just the two of us.  I could still hear the goats and pigs nearby but even their noises started to fade away. I couldn’t help but tune into Dada’s voice. I was - 6 -

Inception enraptured. This was happiness. It excited me and made me peaceful all at once. I was slowly submersed into a world of serenity - a Nirvana. I decided I would be a monk.” But the proboscis of a single mosquito - a female as all the biters are would change his fate entirely, yet again. Nirvana ended with a savage bout of malaria. The tachycardia, vomiting, fever, severe weakness and hallucinations left Jim stranded, with no access to a telephone and too weak to make the journey 200 miles down a rutted dirt track from the village of Ejura to the airport at the capital, Accra. For two weeks he fought until he felt himself losing the will to live and vomiting up the very anti-malarial pills that could save him. “At some point, I was certain I would die. I couldn’t even take the medicine I needed to help me. I was sleeping on this mattress on the concrete floor, which was a luxury for the village, but it also left me exposed to even more malaria infection. The place was always buzzing with mosquitoes. “I made a follow-up promise to myself. I swore that, if I survived, I would live my life to the fullest - no holds barred.”

Back at the party at 33 Portland Place, Jim Stark was as likely to answer to the moniker Mr. M. He was the mastermind behind an encroaching experiment conducted by a secretive group of less than 100 people from 10 countries devoted to attracting and dating high-value women – the models, ballet dancers, Playboy Playmates and actresses that inspired the masturbatory fantasies of so many men.  As his job, Jim introduces men to his Community of pickup artists and tutors them on success with women and social circles while charging them $3,000 – or more precisely $2,997 - each for a weekend with 15 hours of seminars and two nights out to clubs and bars accompanied by him and his professional dating coach assistants. Those in Jim’s inner circle had honed their hunting instincts and techniques over years of practice together. The success of one meant the success of all. Jealousies were thrown aside. One man’s valuable contact became a resource available to them all. A new technique for meeting women, work, physical fitness, or setting somebody off guard during a cash negotiation, become grist for them all to try. - 7 -

Myths and Masters of the Game

The Inner Circle had worked and studied over hundreds of days and nights at nightclubs, parties, gyms, psychology classes, yoga, dance lessons and philosophy discussions. They had gotten to know each other so well they could operate instinctively, like an intensively trained sports team. Jim had picked his close friends carefully. Most shared the understated confidence that he, too, exhibited.   In private, they jokingly called themselves the Navy Seals Team. In the high-end parties of London, Los Angeles, New York or Paris, they split into ones and twos, scouting the room for opportunities. A couple of men in Jim’s entourage had started as two-bit computer hackers, another as a waiter, another as a graphic artist, another as a comedian. It included a golf pro, an Aston Martin-driving real estate magnate, the heir to an international jeans manufacturer and a Shanghai-based telecommunications millionaire. Slo Some of the men had business expertise; st wly, the gro up art others specialized in physical fitness, diet and or en ing to appro was ach co fashion, others in psychology and biology or in of Lo mpass the lik rd Da es v the A the more nebulous areas of meditation, self-help merica enport, n rapp Jay-Z and winding routes to crystal clear thinking. All, er , il l u sionist and m ag however, were experts in the attraction, dating Brow ician Derre n n , Kat and seduction of women. and o e Moss thers. In the last year, they had focused on designing lifestyles that would draw in the desirable - beautiful women and driven, successful men. In the three months prior to Lord Davenport’s party, Jim and some of his friends had flown to Munich, Boston, New York, Las Vegas, Miami, Oslo, Cancun and even the Arctic Circle at the behest of men who wanted to learn to seduce women they thought were out of their league. Between Jim and Braddock, his most frequent travel partner, they had just charmed in two months of travel Playboy centerfold Tiffany Lang, Boston Celtics cheerleader Chantal Erasmus and a dozen other women after gaining access and invites to exclusive parties and clubs on several continents. They had partied on the luxury yacht of a Mexican multi-millionaire who made his fortune in the condom business, exploring business plans with other multi-millionaires while lingerie models, shooting an ad on the yacht at the time, dodged and weaved on jet skis on the placid Caribbean. - 8 -

Inception Tiffany, the Playboy playmate, had even said to Jim: “You must have all sorts of girls like me wrapped around your finger.” Jim had to laugh. It was true, although the truth came from a completely different direction than she expected. But women were only part of the equation.  Skill with women attracted men too - often rich, well-connected men. The interactions with women were also a readily accessible arena for testing their skills and trying out new theories of social interaction to develop what the initiated came to call Social Circle Mastery. Now they were devoted to studying how to make themselves ``sticky.’’ That is, how to befriend, or seduce, people well-placed within higher social circles and then climb further upward.  Jim was doing it because he knew it could be done. Slowly, the group was starting to approach or encompass the likes of Lord Davenport, the American rapper Jay-Z, illusionist and magician Derren Brown, Kate Moss and others. The group was always trying to confirm its status with higher social circles but, as Jim says, they were now just a couple of social circles away from, say, Sting or Jamiroquai. Now, Jim’s clique was looking for fresh talent, new people to act as tentacles worldwide. And they hatched a plan. Over the next six months, Jim would interview hundreds of men from all continents to find six he could work with. Those six would be expected to quit working and undergo intense training for two months, seven days a week, from morning to night. Through tutoring from instructors from Love Systems and other seduction freelancers, they would be taught social dynamics, female psychology, negotiation strategies, body language, neuroscience related to human interaction, evolutionary biology, self-hypnosis and the micro expressions training that top detectives use to spot liars. They would be given counseling on how to invest or make money online. They would undergo fashion makeovers, workouts at the hands London’s severe physical trainers, voice projection lessons under opera singers, humor training by professional comedians, and dance-floor lessons supervised by experts. They would be tested and judged on social interactions, forced to approach and seduce or befriend hundreds of random beautiful women in book stores, high-end night clubs, coffee shops, pubs, sports bars and even office buildings in multicultural environments including London, Munich, Stockholm and Las Vegas.    - 9 -

Myths and Masters of the Game

In a mating study at Florida State University, 134 students were asked to play a series of games of black jack. First, though, they had to look at 10 photos of members of the opposite sex. The study, led by social psychology doctorate student Michael Baker, showed no variation in risk-taking behavior of women. The men who viewed photos of beautiful women before playing the game, however, were much more likely to take risks, such as requesting an extra card even when the odds were against them. “Among men, risky behaviors have potential for displaying to potential mates characteristics such as social dominance, confidence, ambition, skill, and mental acuity,’’ Baker wrote in his report. “In addition, risk-taking can signal to other men one’s value as an ally or formidability as an adversary, and thus help men compete with one another over potential mates.” Thoughts of hitting on beautiful women can, of course, drive men to take much greater risks than hitting on 16 in a game of blackjack.

STARK PREPARED PROJECT ROCKSTAR DURING A WHIRLWIND TOUR, J IMin contact by phone and e-mails with dozens of instructors worldwide as he

earned his living in the night clubs of Hong Kong, Singapore, Sydney and Oslo. During his downtime in airport lounges, he had to consider the right ratio of time the students, who quickly became dubbed “Rockstars,” would spend on each of the three key areas – health, wealth and relationships. He wanted Project Rockstar to carve a niche of respectability in the study - 10 -

Creaky Foundations

of pickup. It was, after all, a Community primarily comprised of men with little or no social success – the computer nerds, the 30-year-old virgins in their mothers’ basements, the sexually frustrated men who tended toward misogyny – “women are bitches and whores.” Jim knew he had to filter out the dregs – just one dreg could spoil the program. He sought to avoid the men whose sole aim was to sleep with as many women as possible, the men who advocated lying and cheating to capture women and those who hadn’t worked out deep-seated emotional problems. And the Community of pickup artists was rife with them. It was a Community that accepted all comers. To be a member, it wasn’t enough to merely state that you were a pickup artist. So Jim insisted on written applications and backgrounds and two rounds of videotaped interviews from prospective students. Also, for the first time in the Community, Jim insisted on full transparency – the successful applicants would have to reveal their real names to the world and link to their web sites if they had them. Even the dating coaches offering up their time to teach the Rockstars would have their real names exposed, revealing to thousands the identities behind the exploits they had read about on dozens of internet forums and web sites. In a Community where men wrote of their sexual conquests under monikers such as Rogue, Enigma, Little Big Dick, Biter and Lord Mega of the Pork Sword, the openness was a novelty. From the Sydney airport lounge, Jim hit send on the e-mail advertising Project Rockstar, committing himself to several more months of planning and two months of intensive coaching that would put his reputation on the line.

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Myths and Masters of the Game

 

A Once-in-a-Lifetime Opportunity to Achieve a Rockstar Lifestyle

What is Project Rockstar?

Project Rockstar is the once-in-a-lifetime program for 6 carefully selected guys from around the world to train every day for 2 months in London with the best of the best -- dating coaches, pick up artists, fitness instructors, entrepreneurs and business gurus in the UK and internationally. It is the world’s most intensive course in lifestyle change. Criteria for Selection

We are looking for guys who demonstrate amazing drive and passion. We want participants willing to give 110%. This is the MAJOR criterion for selection as a Rockstar. Skill with women is NOT a prerequisite. Project Rockstar will constitute a MASSIVE interpersonal and lifestyle change to the chosen participants. Once all expressions of interest have been received, a shortlist of 20 people will be arranged for interviews. From there, you will either have a face to face meeting or Skype video conference call with Mr. M and the other coaches. In the weeks after putting out the ad, Jim was swamped with applications. Their motivations were many. Some simply wanted to lose their virginity or find a girlfriend, others wanted to be able to walk into any club anywhere in the world and pickup the hottest girl. Others were looking for a jet-setting, Playboy lifestyle of self-fulfillment and riches.  The resumes themselves ranged from the impressive to, well, those that missed the point of Project Rockstar.   “I once fucked a girl in a park while other people watched,” read the introductory letter to an application from a 19-year-old American sporting goods salesman, aiming to impress Jim, Vercetti and the others in the council of application reviewers. “I am so bad with women that a girl once got her guy friends to throw me in the river when I hit on her,” read another from rural England, explaining why he could benefit from massive transformation. Many others showed a hyperactive, almost scary, desire but had no record - 12 -

Creaky Foundations

of professional or academic accomplishments to prove their will to succeed: “I may sound greedy, extremely greedy in fact,” wrote another applicant. “But WHY THE HELL NOT! There are people out there with it all and more, so I’m not gonna feel guilty about wanting everything! I know what it feels like to be unnoticed, a complete wussy, and a failure...NO FUCKING MORE! I’ve had enough!. I have all this frustration and motivation building up inside me. I feel like I’m gonna burst! I’m so god damn eager to succeed, I just don’t know which direction to go in! I just need some direction.... I just need some guidance! . . I’m prepared to put in not just 100 percent, but every minute of every freakin’ day from here on in to get to where I wanna be!” But many submitted stellar applications, including an Olympic athlete, a joint Nobel prize winner, accomplished musicians and younger men who exhibited a drive for dramatically improving their entire lives through the study of dating. The applications were sent to a council of instructors and advisers, from both within and outside of the Community of pickup artists, for suggestions and analysis. Jim kept a veto right. The final six were notified a month before the program was to start.  The new Rockstars included a Canadian politician and TV show host, a Swedish forklift driver and reformed heroin addict, a French business owner, an American law student, a 21-year-old English millionaire and an Australianborn internet marketer who made his home in San Francisco.            On short notice, Aaron Panasbodi had flown half way across the world to take part in Project Rockstar.   He knew he had made it to the final cut of applicants. He didn’t know, though, that he had almost been rejected. Jim and some of the other instructors had read him in the written and videotaped applications as too clinical, lacking warmth. This may be a man, they thought, who would regard others as pawns, who may be unable to forge an emotional connection with the other Rockstars, the instructors and, particularly, women. In his video application, he spoke with precise, almost prissy annunciation, possibly the tone of the pedantic – one who may feel he needs to lecture others. It had almost seemed as if he assumed he would be accepted from among the hundreds of applicants. - 13 -

Myths and Masters of the Game But his academic and professional accomplishments, as well as Aaron’s chance face-to-face meeting between dating instructor Braddock, Jim’s colleague, persuaded Jim to give him the chance. Aaron had clearly demonstrated the ability and drive to learn – and that was really the number one requirement. On his part, Aaron was giving up tens of thousands of dollars in potential income from his internet marketing business, leaving friends behind and uprooting the life he had spent more than a year forging for himself back in San Francisco to participate in the training. He was also risking public mockery. As a condition of the training, Aaron’s name would appear in newspapers and on dozens of web sites worldwide. While his closest friends understood what he was doing, most others did not. He had told his parents, casual friends, and even the women he dated of a mystery “extended vacation” in Europe. However, with a name as rare as his, the truth and potential embarrassment was just a Google away. It was a risk – a big one. But as high-stakes card players will say, high risk carries potential high rewards. Aaron was, after all, devoting the next two months to learn how to become a master pickup artist. His potential winnings included the admiration of thousands of men worldwide and the fascination of highly desirable women. He had success with women in the past, sporadically, but his perfectionist personality, for which he would soon become renowned, drove him to push toward the impossible – to attract any woman he wanted, wherever and whenever he wanted. Students of seduction meet with varied reactions when they tell others of their pursuits. Rarely are the reactions positive. A smug grin from men who think they’ve already worked He had told his parents, casual friends, out women without the benefit and even the women he dated of a mystery of training. Baffled looks of “extended vacation” in Europe. However, with complete misunderstanding. recoils and a name as rare as his, the truth and potential Horrified accusations of manipulation embarrassment was just a Google away. from women, many of whom say the techniques Aaron was about to learn would never work on them. Mostly, the uninitiated world thinks the students are simply wasting their time with foolishness. After all, a man cannot become more attractive. Can he? - 14 -

Creaky Foundations

Most students of seduction, or pickup artists, have the luxury of keeping their interests private, or slowly preparing the listener for the revelation. Aaron would not. He would become a public face of the international seduction community – and a lightning rod for criticism. Because his pursuit was not socially acceptable. Aaron had lived in his native Australia, his adopted home of San Francisco, and traveled extensively as he harnessed his iron discipline to build a solid financial base. At 24 years of age, he now traveled business class, stayed in fivestar hotels, and was used to a level of comfort. Given the risks and sacrifices, Aaron felt his dismay was more than justified as he stood at the threshold of the house that the instructors had dubbed the “Rockstar Mansion”. Each student had paid 1,600 pounds, or about $2,500, for rent in the mansion and this place would be Aaron’s home for the next two months. In his home in San Francisco, Aaron had crafted a fine-tooth home, starched white curtains, maid service, shelves of books organized to size and alphabet. He worked with efficiency from morning to evening, carefully constructing online advertising campaigns, in a neat-freak’s paradise. It was a rude welcome to the Rockstar Mansion. Construction debris littered the floor and coated the meager collection of stained cutlery, the broken washing machine and the chipped dining table in a fine layer of grime. The faux-leather beige sofa stank of years of the sweat and rancid body oils of people unknown. Most of the lamps in the living room and the bedrooms had their cords severed. The bathrooms gave off nearly the same stench that emanated from the fish warehouse two doors down the alley. The warehouse was hosed down every day, sending the rankest morsels of fish guts and feces sailing down toward Aaron’s new home. Passersby threw cigarette butts and cheese-slimed hamburger wrappers through the sidewalk-level grates of the basement bedrooms. The refuse landed through imperfectly closed shutters and onto the window ledges of two of the bedrooms. After years of garbage accumulation, the bedrooms had started to accumulate a peculiar funk of their own. The hardwood floors had gone wobbly – stepping on one of the slats would force it to come springing up at the other end, revealing years of more - 15 -

Myths and Masters of the Game hidden grime from the apartment’s underworld. Aaron, hunting optimism, did spot one advantage of the place. Just across the alley was what appeared to be a hopping night spot. Aaron would later learn that not only was the club predominantly gay, but the bathroom facilities were lacking, meaning dozens of men would relieve themselves nightly against the walls of his new home. The cycle would continue through the night until morning, when tired staff would pile the party refuse into two large blue dumpsters right in and Alex n o r a A s Rockstar front of the main entrance of Rockstar Mansion.  Next door, just this side of the reeking warehouse, was an intimate private club that looked like a good spot to take girls. And it would be an easy step then to take them home. But what girl in her right mind would let a man take her into a place like this?! “The training better deliver on its promise”, Aaron thought. If it did, the skills he acquired could defuse the very moments of social awkwardness his studies might create with his family and friends But most importantly, he hoped, it would level the playing field with the women he had so sought since his teens. The budding models with the aspirations of brain surgeons, the ballerinas with family pedigree - the girls so hot that they could, unlike him, afford to be nerdy or quirky or obsessive-compulsive and still remain in the upper reaches of any social circle. Since puberty, girls are exposed to techniques in make-up application, Top 10 Flirting Techniques in magazines such as Cosmopolitan, debated the merits of waiting one day, or three days, to return a phone call from a boy, and swap insight about the behavior of their boyfriends. As women, they seek to share a coffee with their best friends as they discuss their dissatisfaction with their marriages, disappointment with men or brag about their joys in love. And nobody made fun of them for it. Women learn intuitively about flirting. The more attractive ones are admired by or hit on, in some form, by thousands of men throughout their lives. They learn to discern between a man who is just being friendly and a man who is being friendly in the hopes of getting in her pants. They know that a second - 16 -

Creaky Foundations

glance – even a first glance - from a man means he is interested. Those who are not interested are either gay, newly married, or, most intriguingly, the rich and famous who already have too many women to handle. They learn to smile at men’s nervousness – it means she has the upper hand. In all, women learn how to dance circles around men, tripping them up, asking the questions that could trick him into revealing their weaknesses. Attractive women learn to smile in self-confidence, amusement or derision as men fumble. Men though, have trouble admitting a lack of success with women, let alone seeking help for it. A man typically shows bluster and brags about his success with women, even if he has little of it. After all, men often take the measure of another man, and perhaps even themselves, by the attraction they can create in women – or the lack of it. Men generally only gain the advantage after they have slept with a woman. Jim’s training was meant to take that advantage in an intense, sleepless two months. Now, in the Rockstar Mansion, Aaron was determined to learn to become a master of seduction, of the pickup arts, of social circles. He was staking his reputation on it. Dozens of leading pickup artists from around the world would fly here to lecture him and the five other chosen students – the Rockstars. The line up of speakers and teachers included psychologists to boost the students’ confidence, opera singers to fine-tune their voices, dancers and actors to work on their body language and comedians to develop a style of humor that would help them meet women. He concluded the discomfort would be worth it. To join Project Rockstar, Aaron had survived several rounds of interviews, competing against hundreds of ambitious men worldwide. The announcement of Project Rockstar was already making it something of an institution in the pickup world – a rapidly growing community of hundreds of thousands of men.  Aaron was immediately drawn to the project when he read the ad. For four years, he had devoted his free time to improving skills with women. The first time he ever went to a club, at the age of 19, was to learn how to pick up women. He had paid for a weekend in Toronto with some of the most famous pickup artists in the world. When Aaron took that initial training back in 2005, the world of pickup, or “dating science for men” as some politely call it, was still in its infancy. The denizens of that world memorized pick-up lines, mostly tailored to avoid instant - 17 -

Myths and Masters of the Game rejection from a woman. Most of the men who studied them had little experience with women and their egos needed cushioning in case of a rude reaction from a “hottie”. A simple backturn from that petite brunette could crush the ego of a pimply computer student who was daring to approach a strange woman for the first time. So, to feign disinterest, the men would use seemingly offhand opening lines such as “Hey, my buddies and I were discussing something and we need a female opinion. We don’t know much. We’re just a bunch of guys, you know? I gotta get back to them in a sec. So, tell me, who lies more? Men or women?” The pickup line, or “opener,” was meant to be delivered over the shoulder, seemingly as an afterthought while the pickup artist was passing by. The mention that he has to get back to his friends was meant to display non-neediness, indicate that he would only be there for a minute or two, and show his social side by suggesting that he knew other people in the venue. Or the aspiring pickup artist may spray his forearms with two different colognes before going out, with the aim of asking attractive women help in choosing – a quick fix that women find hard to resist. The lines were meant to show the woman that the pickup artist, or “PUA” as the Community labels them, was seeking a quick opinion and not sex. It was also designed to intrigue her with a topic likely to interest women. Other canned lines were then meant to transition from the initial sentences, or “opener,” into a more normal conversation that would let the pickup artist impress the woman without appearing to try too hard, and then entice the woman to chase him. The men shunned traditional dating advice such as “just be yourself” or “be nice to her and she’ll like you.” They learned to tease or act as if the woman was doing the chasing in order to persuade her that he was really the type of guy that hot women regularly chase. That underworld was born via internet forums in the late 90’s and first exposed in 2005 by The Game, the New York Times bestseller. This world of pickup artists, known simply as “the Community,” burgeoned with the publicity surrounding the book. For the first time in history, many men started to believe that the women of their dreams were within their reach. Hundreds of thousands of men in major cities and countries around the world started to study the art of attracting women. And with them, hundreds of other men proclaimed themselves to be master pickup artists who could teach others. These self-proclaimed “pickup gurus” started to charge thousands of dollars a weekend to lecture horny or lovelorn men on skills with women and take them out to clubs and bars to show them how it was done. - 18 -

Creaky Foundations

The Community has created its own ranking of superstars and gliteratti. Many young men, after finding out about the community and reading up on it for months, grow star-struck and stutter on meeting the likes of Cajun, Mr. M, Savoy, Badboy, Carlos Xuma and dozens more of the community’s leading practitioners and teachers. The Community did include the seriously geeky – the masturbating World of Warcraft addicts, men with severe social anxiety, and the hopeless virgins. And tens of thousands of them, using the tactics, were now getting laid occasionally, many for the very first time. On the other end of the scale, it included men who could bring a new woman to their beds almost every night – men who had threesomes with perfect 10s, who had beautiful women stalking them. In many cases, these men were themselves the awkward nerds only years earlier. They served as an inspiration and many went on to teach others. In some cases, they were the “naturals” – men who learning before puberty the attractiveness of confidence and developed a natural popularity with women. Many of the teachers that have grown out of the community were exposed as charlatans. Others were delusional. But a few brought true originality and daring to the science they studied. With the barrage of newfound media attention stemming from The Game, many of the staple routines became commonplace, turning into a sad joke in clubs and bars of New York, Los Angeles, or Toronto. The attention prompted a shift in thinking from some of the Community elite as women The men shunned traditional dating advice more and more such as “just be yourself” or “be nice to her often recognized the and she’ll like you.” They learned to tease or lines and routines act as if the woman was doing the chasing . . . of the studious and sexually aspiring. A pickup artist’s worst nightmare was to be “caught out” and socially humiliated using the lines that women knew were designed by somebody else. Even if one woman in 500 had heard of The Game or the VH1 show, it was too big of a risk for guys who approached dozens of women in a night. Opinion openers were swapped out, guys learned routines to help recover after they were caught out, and thousands fretted over the loss of the secrecy that had been surrounding the art. Love Systems decided to break from some of the Community tactics and promote a more natural form of attracting women. The early routines, story-telling methods and lines were meant to - 19 -

Myths and Masters of the Game persuade women that they were speaking to high-value men with interesting lives, ambition and sexual confidence. Love Systems still espoused some routines and, in fact, published two volumes of Routines Manuals. The books were compilations of routines that could be used by students still getting used to the idea of sustaining conversations with unfamiliar, attractive women. The routines, tested by the company’s instructors, were meant to teach students how to talk to women, and not tell them precisely what to say. The other positive effect of routines, the instructors found, was as a teaching tool. The routines were proven to work when delivered in the right tone and circumstance and with solid body language. If they flopped, then, the student should be examining his delivery. The aim was for the students to develop a feel for the flow of a successful interaction and let their own personality out. The new generation of pickup artistry, then, would focus on actually nurturing a compelling and interesting lifestyle, developing inner confidence and increasing social intelligence. This new branch of theory was labeled by Jim as “Achieving Supernova.” Love Systems became the The new generation of pickup artistry, then, fastest-growing dating training would focus on actually nurturing a compelling company in the world and has and interesting lifestyle, developing inner confidence and increasing social intelligence. trained more than 10,000 men on This new branch of theory was labeled by Jim as its bootcamps. Achieving Supernova. Project Rockstar was meant to be a showcase of the more natural method espoused by Love Systems and its instructors.            Aaron’s aim, now, was to study with some of those new stars in the most intensive training to date - a grueling course that sprung up through the last several years of development in the Community. Like the Karate Kid who was forced into menial tasks at the start of his training, Aaron set out with basic tools to work at his craft as he waited for the five other Rockstars to arrive from five different countries to the rickety Mansion. The tools were a broom, a mop, and a pail. “From humble beginnings come great things,” Aaron hoped.

- 20 -

Sex Gods?

In a study of popular romantic comedies, researchers at Heriot Watt University in Scotland showed that the on- screen swoons of the likes of Sandra Bullock and the charming antics of, say, Hugh Grant, were detrimental to viewers’ sexual and romantic lives. The research showed that women, and sometimes men, who frequently watch romantic comedies were most likely to believe in love at first sight. They are the most likely to believe that two people were “just meant to be together” and that your soul mate could anticipate your desires with little or no communication. The same researchers, in a breakdown of statistics from 40 popular romantic comedies, found that the leading characters exchanged 154 compliments. In 123 of the cases, male actors were doing the complimenting. The male characters also gave 35 of 37 gifts compared to two gift- giving instances among female leads. The men performed 14 of 17 favors and moved to initiate a relationship in 63 of 84 cases. How many women worldwide, then, daydream that a dashing, confi dent man will intercept them and sweep them off their feet while on their work via the subway, seeking lunch on a break, or buying a newspaper?

THE NEXT TWO MONTHS, YOU WILL SUFFER HORRIBLY. FEAR WILL F OR take your breath and stress will tunnel your vision. You will do things that no sane human being would do. You will live outside of your comfort zones – I will - 21 -

Myths and Masters of the Game make this so. When we are done with you, your aura will exude sex. This is what I can teach you. You may not agree with my teaching methods, but your results will speak for themselves. This is Sexual Mastery.” Dr. Yen’s dagger lip piercing and the razor-blade dangling from his necklace moved in cadence as he spoke. His hair was gelled to stand on end. A thin, sharp beard gave him a devilish look. The Rockstars, privately, would soon dub him Captain Jack Sparrow, after Johnny Depp’s carefully groomed shambolic character in The Pirates of the Caribbean. The practiced rhythm and tone of speech were mesmerizing. Sat listening on the still-dusty sofas and chairs of the Rockstar Mansion were the Rockstars themselves, eating lunch and digesting an often abrasive introduction to the world that would become theirs over the next eight weeks. Dr. Yen was not a Love Systems instructor but Jim asked him to help out in the beginning of the training partly to jarringly separate the Rockstars from the comfort zones of home. Dr. Yen’s methods were edgy, sometimes dark, but few speakers could manage the whips-and-chains shock value he added to the kickoff of the Rockstars’ journey. Most, if not all Rockstars, were still disoriented from their travels and setting up in the Rockstar Mansion. The surroundings, just off Brick Lane, were alien. Bearded Muslims praying on carpets, wiry, muscle-men covered in tattoos, strung out drug addicts, and groups of helmeted London Bobbies colored the Rockstars’ morning jaunts to the coffee shop. The Babel of languages from jumbles of stands selling hamburgers, bootleg DVDs, cheap umbrellas and dusty sex toys disconcerted even native Londoners, let alone newcomers. The Rockstars, struggling to recognize one-pound coins from 50p coins and looking cautiously both ways before crossing right-hand-drive streets, looked and felt more alien than most. Claude Genest, after only three days in the UK, found his Montreal accent was being polluted by a contagious mix of London talk and twang. “Mate” instead of “man” and “birds” for “babes.” Claude sat in the Rockstar Mansion to Dr. Yen’s right, staring in perplexity at the sudden blast of the instructor’s curse-laden direct talk that shattered what until now had been an air of greetings and niceties. “Are you serious?” Claude muttered, not loud enough to earn a response. At 46, Claude was by far the oldest Rockstar. He was also the one straying furthest from his natural world. The Montreal native was the deputy leader of the Green Party of Canada and had run in six national election campaigns. He hosted his own PBS television series on sustainable living and was nominated - 22 -

Sex Gods?

for an Emmy. He had developed an occasionally overbearing personality – often the loudest in the room and the most outspoken. His height of 6’4”, his wavy mane in the style of the 1980s David Hasselhoff and slight disregard for social niceties surrounding acts like, say, burping and farting, made him stand out in most crowds. This day, he found himself unaccustomedly relegated, like the other Rockstars, to the background. On Project Rockstar, he found himself having to adapt to others, rather than trying to make the world adapt to him. After all these years, he was a devoted student again. “OK,” Claude said. “What you are describing is what I want. To be honest, I have always done pretty well with the women. I mean, I am good approaching women when they’re interested in me – maybe from my social circle or something. Not so good when it comes to women I don’t know – I mean the solid 10s. These are the women that give me butterflies in the stomach. I’m 46 years old and have more public exposure than most. I can stand in front of TV cameras no problem. But those 10s make me stutter. I’m a nervous wreck around them.” Yen looked at him with no hint of reaction. The Community has a haphazard scale of rating women. A 5 is, of course, average. Anything above that, however, would be a woman deemed attractive enough to sleep with. But everybody had their own vision of a 10, and a 5, and a 1. And that was as un-transferable as a man’s favorite color, or his taste in music. For Claude, a perfect 10 was an absolute stunning brunette – body just so, breasts not too large, and a femininity that could be wielded as a weapon.  It was a woman he would gleefully accompany to political cocktails, a woman so stunning she would turn all heads in the street and so intelligent that she wouldn’t cast them a second glance out of the knowledge that they would be intimidated by her success. In short, a 10 was a woman he would marry in a heartbeat. Claude had first been introduced to the Community when he was invited to moderate an international pickup artist conference in Montreal. He had put himself out on the circuit of moderators and public speakers. And they had found him. Throughout the hours of lectures by guest speakers, he found himself surreptitiously taking notes, hiding his pen and paper behind the podium, as he learned that there could be a method that might streamline the helter-skelter courtship he had suffered through his adult years. And, as suddenly as the announcement of an exit poll count, it made him - 23 -

Myths and Masters of the Game realize that his love-life was lacking. Months later, he saw the Project Rockstar ad. After several rounds of interviews, he found himself on the training he hoped would silver-coat his tongue and teach him confidence in the impossibly beautiful face of the women of his dreams. In the video interview for Project Rockstar, posted on YouTube where his friends, family, colleagues in the Green Party, and voters, could see it, Claude said his aim on the course was to work toward improving relations between men and women. How can you be “I’m disillusioned with the state of affairs truly sustainable between men and women and I want to be without developing proactive,” he had said in a public relations video systems of from his second home in Vermont where, as in most sustainable of North America , the divorce rate is more than 50 relationships? percent.  “How can you be truly sustainable without developing systems of sustainable relationships? At this point, I have had some success but I’m wondering if getting lots more of the same is really what is going to make me happy.” Only in private with the other Rockstars and the instructors, the politician admitted he was tired of settling for “moderately attractive” women and wanted to learn to regularly seduce those that make his heart race, his tongue stutter and his vision cloud. To study under dozens of men who made dating these elusive 9s and 10s their life’s work, Claude was willing to risk public criticism and leave behind a career he had spent decades nurturing. The Green Party in his politically correct homeland of Canada, he knew, would have trouble backing a candidate who had given up two months of his life to take an intensive course in seducing hot babes. His political career would be finished. Dr. Yen acknowledged Claude for the first time, seemingly as a distracting thought that had just hit him. He glanced toward the politician’s carefully nurtured hairstyle. “You had your best success with women in the 1980s didn’t you?” Yen asked. Claude shifted and laughed, slightly nervous, waiting for more explanation. “There’s a saying about older men,” Dr. Yen said, like a grandfather starting to spin a yarn. “Their hair styles are frozen replicas of their glory days. But - 24 -

Sex Gods?

remember that your glory days with women are still ahead of you – not behind.” With a wave and a sentence of finality, Yen finished the exchange. “We will have to cut that hair off.” Yen resumed his lecture, zeroing in on his favorite topic – sexual confidence. Claude, still digesting the previous words, ran splayed fingers through his wavy mane. In a group of men devoted to studying body language and social cues, all would soon recognize the gesture as a sign that Claude was nervous, harvesting doubts. His hair was dear to him. It stood out on television shows, in public rallies, during private interactions. It was a defining feature. But, like Samson, scissors would change that. Claude’s next words carried a tone of both defiance and hesitance but they were delivered at the wrong time, like a singer off key. The topic had already moved on. “I’ll think about it,” he said. Dr. Yen had inflicted his first wound on the Rockstars. Many more were to follow. Dr. Yen addressed the group. “Blood, sweat and tears will make you feel you have earned the right to any beautiful woman you want by the time we’re done with you. If a woman says no to you – watch her closely. She will sometimes mean yes. If a woman starts walking away from you – pick her up and throw her over your shoulder. If she struggles, only then let her go. You will tap her secret fantasies. You will learn to claim what is yours.’’ Dr. Yen’s was brief and to the point. He was there to erase social inhibitions - and do it quickly. He and the other instructors had 10 days to break the Rockstars down and shatter all former beliefs before the rebuilding would start. Within two weeks, the men would be forced to help teach other men to pick up women - and they would be judged on their performance. So they moved on to the exercises. Dr. Yen stood up suddenly, knocking his chair backwards, in a show designed to rivet attention. He shouted. “My cock is as hard as marble!” “I’ll show you my home-made porn. You’ll see me thwack a girl on the - 25 -

Myths and Masters of the Game forehead with my cock. You can hear the thump like I’m hitting her with a police baton. Not only this - from here, I could shoot Aaron in the face with my cum. I can teach your cock this” he said, motioning to the prim Asian internet marketing ace almost two meters away. The Rockstars could not withhold a chuckle at the ridiculousness of the statement. And Dr. Yen glared. “Who here is a sex god?” Nobody answered. “Who here wants to be a sex god?” Everybody smiled, even if somewhat sheepishly. “Listen to me and I will teach you. It is not a matter of cum target practice. Learn and you will be able to withhold your orgasm until she cums – once, twice, three times, or more. Your cock will be the hardest she has ever felt. Combine this with the other techniques I will teach you, and she will always want more. “This is how you start to develop this ability.” Yen firmly squeezed his butt cheeks, contracting his PC muscles, with a grunt and stared at the crowd, awaiting their reaction. Nobody laughed. “Grab your asses!” Vishal Chagan, the 20-year-old English-Indian millionaire Rockstar, chortled again and looked around for the others’ reactions, like seeking a naughty classmate. Vishal was the first to receive Yen’s glare, an icy stare that would punctuate lectures over the coming weeks. The awkward pause mirrored those lost moments that the Rockstars feel in interactions with hundreds of women in coming days and weeks. Vishal recognized that, and filled it in. “Sorry but I have never been so nervous about anything as I am about taking this course,’’ he said, half between a stammer and a chirp. “I have spoken to business groups, to Members of Parliament and made massive deals. But I am really, really nervous about what I’m going through.” The rich kid, who commanded a staff of 25 in his fashion business and had just added his second Bentley to his personal car collection, tentatively placed one hand on his left butt cheek, his right hand on the other … and squeezed. The five other Rockstars – the American law student, the Canadian politician, the Swedish forklift driver, the Australian internet marketer and the French entrepreneur - grabbed their asses. Yen continued. It was a speech designed as much to shock as to educate. He meant to separate the men from their home worlds and open them to new - 26 -

Sex Gods?

experiences, however awkward. “Now, tense your PC muscle – it’s the muscle between your anus and your ball sack,” Dr. Yen shouted. “You use it if you’re pissing and want to cut off the flow quickly. Identify it now.” Within 30 seconds, all students were looking awkwardly around the room at their newfound friends, holding their butt cheeks and tensing their PC muscles in a series of flexes, deep breaths and releases that they would repeat daily for the next two months. They would find themselves exercising their PC muscles in hairdresser’s chairs, on trains, during lectures, while talking to women and while lying in bed in the morning, seeking the energy needed for another day of failure and triumph. Through the rest of the day’s session, Yen guided them through the importance of condom use, the quickest way to find a woman’s clitoris, tips for giving her oral sex and advice on making a woman squirt. It was only the beginning. He would be their tour guide of the male and female sexual anatomy. And if the students were attentive to their other lessons, they would get to put Yen’s teachings into practice. “After practicing these techniques for years, I had to learn how to sew buttons back on my clothing,’’ Dr. Yen said. “I had women rip clothes off me so often that it was getting too expensive to take them to the tailors. There were buttons hiding beneath my sofa cushions, behind the toilet, under the refrigerator. But the female moans and screams I have heard over the years made it all worthwhile.” Dr. Yen’s forked beard, which evoked a devil’s horns, sharp-spiked hair and jagged lip piercing, prevented students from seeing the underlying facial features that would become key. They didn’t yet see the pixie-like facial features, the quiet intelligence behind the bravado, and the soft demeanor underneath the manicured devilishness of the 5’7” Italian. “I want you to hear them too.” Small lessons of the day included tips such as drinking lemon juice to make the taste buds bristle like those of a cat’s tongue before going down on a woman and techniques for replacement of zinc that is quickly depleted by repeated male orgasm. It was all part of a bigger lesson, or transformation. Strengthening PC muscles was a miniscule piece of the puzzle that would come together for the Rockstars over the next two months. Jim had planned the sexual training with Dr. Yen to kick off the studies. He knew how important ‘Sexual Mastery’ was, but he also wanted to shock the Rockstars and throw them into the world of - 27 -

Myths and Masters of the Game the raw and esoteric – a sharp break from their lives back home. In their new world, outrageousness, frank talk, action and fantasy would start to replace the routine of chit chat, small talk and hometown gossip The bigger lesson was “Man Game” – the ability to express masculine desires, exude sexual confidence and be an attractive man while approaching stunningly beautiful women in clubs, pubs, cafes, shopping malls and on sidewalks, trains and even catwalk after-parties. Man Game was the concept that Jim and Braddock created to minimize and dispel many of the accepted dating techniques of the Community. Opinion openers would be used for their original purpose – as a teaching The bigger lesson was “Man Game” – the tool and training wheels to get ability to express masculine desires, exude guys into conversations with sexual confidence and be an attractive man women. Rarely would men while approaching stunningly beautiful women casually ask a hot girl whether in clubs, pubs, cafes, shopping malls and on men or women lie more in order sidewalks, trains and even catwalk after-parties. to spike her interest. No more backhanded compliments – “negs” - to temporarily lower her self-esteem. No more sneakiness. The only memorized scripts to be used would flow naturally from a man’s genuine, albeit improved, real personality. The Rockstar instructors would take the age-old advice of “Just be yourself” and inject it with steroids. “Be true to yourself. Go whole-heartedly for whatever you want. And don’t give a flying fuck what anybody else thinks of you. Ask any 20-something year old woman who knows what she wants. She will tell you that that is attractive. But on the flip side, take feedback, see your blind spots and discover what you need to improve on to become a real, naturally attractive, man” Jim, the master of ceremonies, was now speaking. His friendly tone and message-softening chuckles were meant to serve as a buffer to the blows the men faced. “The concept of the pickup artist is obsolete. By the end of this, you guys will operate on a level that pickup artists cannot replicate. You will become naturally attractive men. But even more than this, you will be a Navy Seal Team of true alpha males. “Learning social dynamics and game is a necessary first step. Learning how to become a naturally attractive masculine man is the penultimate level. But beyond this, you will learn to look out for each others’ interest and operate as a team. - 28 -

Sex Gods?

“When one of you decides he really wants a girl, there will be no competition. The others will do whatever possible, with the finesse that you will learn, to make it happen for him. But this isn’t just limited to women. You came here to learn about women, but you will find the goal is to lift each other up in all aspects – financially, health-wise, and with women. Together - as a team - you can attain the lifestyle you have dreamed of. “By the sixth week of giving this your all, I expect that some of you will become as good as some of the instructors. However, more than this, you will learn how to ‘go Supernova’ – how to attain your dreams in all areas of your life and develop a level of success that will surprise even me. “Become the man you know is deep inside – shed the bullshit and let that guy out,’’ Jim said. “Remember that the guy who fucks up the most, and in the most spectacular style, will probably be the best at the end of this. Failure is the first step to success.” “Now, get some rest. Your first challenge starts tomorrow and you’ll need your energy and wits. “You have two months to build your Supernova.” “Welcome to Project Rockstar.”

- 29 -

Myths and Masters of the Game

Nicolas Gueguen, a behavioral scientist at the University of South Brittany, set out in 2007 to gauge the effect that light, social touching by men could have on the behavior of women in a potentially romantic context. In one series of studies, he had young male researchers approach more than 100 women at a night club and ask them to dance during slow songs. Half of the time, the researchers accompanied the request with a one-second light touch to the women’s forearms. Gueguen found that 43.3 percent of the women accepted the proposal when not touched. When the same men, using the same delivery, used the light touch, their acceptance rate shot up to 65 percent. Another experiment had young men approaching almost 250 women on the streets during the daytime and asking for their phone numbers. The researchers all opened with the line: “Hello. My name’s X. I just want to say that I think you’re really pretty. I have to go to work this afternoon but I wonder if you would give me your phone number. I’ll phone you later and we can have a drink together someplace.’’ All men were instructed to smile while gazing at the women and wait for an answer. Half of the men were also told to touch the woman’s forearm for one second while the other half refrained from any physical contact.

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Day Game

Among women who were not touched, only 10 percent gave their phone number. Of those touched, 19.2 percent gave their digits. During one of the street experiments, a female researcher approached the women, briefly explained the experiment, and asked them to respond to a short questionnaire about the interaction they just had. Both women who had and had not given out their phone numbers rated the men who had approached them. Men who accompanied their line by a light touch were consistently rated as stronger, more dominant, and more sexually attractive.

CENTURIES, COVENT GARDEN IN CENTRAL LONDON HAS ATTRACTED THE F ORcurious, the greedy and the adventurous. In the 1600s, it was home and

workplace to spice traders, tinkers and tailors, and thousands of migrants, mercenaries and fortune seekers from the world over. Merchants shipped their wares up the Thames from continental Europe, the Middle East and Africa to sell in one of the world’s early melting pots. The market square today houses a modern-day version of that same crowd. Leggy Russian blondes now sidestep dreadlocked Jamaicans in the alleys and streets where diseased cutpurses and chivalrous gentlemen trod in the days of Shakespeare. Japanese exchange students share the cobblestone sidewalks with African immigrants, camera-toting American tourists and the increasingly outnumbered London natives seeking a curry lunch or a weekday fashion bargain within a casual walk of their offices. The smells today are more eclectic than ever. The sweet tingle of frying ginger from Chinese restaurants mingles with the stale beer fug of centuriesold pubs, the warmth of a curry, the sizzle of burgers and the aroma from the Starbucks outlets that now dot corners throughout London. On the streets around Covent Garden this sunny Wednesday afternoon, among the throngs of pedestrians, double-decker buses and trademark London black cabs, stood an unusual group of about a dozen men. The Rockstars, with a growing entourage of friends, tutors and hangerson, had hit Covent Garden. They were out for the very first time to put several days of theory lessons to use. Thus far, they had been tutored on female psychology, on the importance of physical fitness, even instilled with the desire for professional success. Now they were meant to actually pick up women. - 31 -

Myths and Masters of the Game They had not, however, been given any pickup lines. Nor had they been taught what to say if the woman actually stopped to hear them out. It was what the instructors called the “Trial By Fire”. This was “Day Game”, where the goal was to meet women on the street, in the middle of the day, through random approaches. Most thought it nearly impossible. For unschooled men, it mostly was. Nerves, social pressures and the likely rejection erected barriers that most men could not overcome.

The Rockstars planning a day game session in Covent Garden

At the center, Vercetti, the smoothly confident actor, was preaching the advantages of the few men who do overcome these obstacles and defeat their hesitation. Vercetti was backed up by Dr. Yen, whose “ass kicking” boots and saucer-sized belt buckle added a dash of color to the group. “You’re going to try to pick up women today,” he said. “No coaching. No demonstrations. No introductory lessons. You’ve just got to show me that you’ve got balls.” “You first.” Vercetti pointed to Rockstar Alex Fournel. The Frenchman took a second to respond. He was in his shell of self-inquiry. In his Rockstar application, Alex had proved the most eager, enthusiastic applicant of all. From his home in Toulouse, on the River Garonne in southern France, Alex had crafted a dynamic, inspiring video application set to Rolling Stones music and employing several locations. - 32 -

Day Game

Alex had fought for months, harder than any of his fellow students, to be included in Project Rockstar. He had learned English in a three-month crash course with private tutors, studied video shooting and editing in order to make his stellar video application to the project, flew around Europe to personally lobby Jim, Dr. Yen and other instructors, and sold the cleaning company he had built in order to fund his stay during the program. He had given it all up, for this. Alex had said he wanted the experience of Project Rockstar to make sure that “my life was never ‘just fine’. It must be awesome. It must be a Supernova.” He didn’t just want an attractive, intelligent, sensitive girlfriend with whom he could share a strong emotional connection. He wanted the hottest, smoothest, sexiest, smartest girlfriend in the world. But since his arrival in London days earlier, and to the dismay of many who saw his application, Alex had been withdrawn. He was the student most likely to be alone during breaks. While the others were sleeping at 4 a.m., Alex was often sitting alone in the living room of the ramshackle Rockstar Mansion, like a recluse. When asked, he said, simply and briefly, that he was meditating on his purpose in life, and “seeking a direction.” Others would say he was “feeling lost.” In the last few days, he had also grown self-conscious of his English, concerned that his slow speech and accent were trying people’s patience. His poor posture was also affecting his self-image. The svelte Frenchman, the most physically fit of the Rockstars, would wince when shown photos and videos of himself. From certain angles, Vercetti noted, Alex’s shoulders stooped and his head leaned forward so much as to give him the aspect of a hungry buzzard. The man in those photos wasn’t the guy who could score the dynamic women he sought. Alex had exhibited boldness and confidence before – leaving university to start up his own businesses, leaving comfortable relationships with the aim of finding better ones. But a year after that move, he found the life of a single man – which he had envisioned with glamour, was lacking. After a year of trial and error, discussions and reflection, he came across the announcement for Project Rockstar. He decided to start from scratch again. That very same night, looking at the words “No amount of money can get you into Project Rockstar, you have to send your application and be selected by the jury” on the screen of his computer, he committed to do whatever he could to be part of this program. He felt it was a once in a lifetime opportunity destiny was - 33 -

Myths and Masters of the Game giving him. And now that destiny was right in front of him. After calling out to Alex, Vercetti pointed toward an Asian woman about 15 meters away on the other side of the street. “Her! Go tell her she is fucking gorgeous.” A film of sweat stuck to Alex’s palms, his heart palpitated, and his vision clouded in an ancient reflex. The primal reaction evolved over millennia to help men better deal with the threat of a nearby hungry lion or a spear-thrusting member of an opposing tribe. But, in this moment, ancient instinct was just screwing Alex up. Alex took a step toward the Asian woman. He saw the outline of the pert breasts of the last sunny days of autumn. The turquoise skirt highlighted her amber skin and the toned calves spoke of a summer of strolls. Alex stalled. Beyond the meager directions given him, Alex had no idea what he would say. “Go!” Vercetti yelled, his word projecting the authority of years of voice training. Alex took another tentative step then turned to ask a question. The Rockstar instructors, though, were clearly expecting immediate, unquestioning action. Many pickup artists turn to evolutionary psychology and theorize that “approach anxiety” has its roots in the days when humans lived in small tribes in the wilderness. Those days make up most of human evolution. The theory states that approaching a fertile woman could get you beaten, banished or killed by the tribal leaders who very well may claim her. Or, if she were truly eligible, the other risk is that she could reject you. In a small tribe, it would not be long before every single fertile female found out that she rejected you. The resulting loss in social status would prevent you from ever mating, thus driving your genes to extinction. That day in Covent Garden, Alex felt approach anxiety like a sick appendix – a useless, gene-threatening part of him that would nevertheless be painful to extract. As he cautiously approached the beautiful Asian in Covent Garden to kick off his search for the perfect woman, he wondered how a blunt rejection would feel. How would it affect his ego? Would she hate him because of his posture? Would she understand his English? Would she prove the accuracy of his own misgivings about himself? Alex had the added pressure of being the first Rockstar to approach a - 34 -

Day Game

random woman on the streets that day. A dozen pairs of eyes were upon him, knowing what he was up to and judging the quality of his pick up attempt. His nervousness was reflected in every movement of his body as he approached. His shoulders stooped again, as if he were trying to hide. He made a beeline for the woman, intercepting her head on. “Hello,” he said. She barely acknowledged him. “I was standing over there and I just had to say that you’re so gorgeous that I had to come say hi.” She shot Alex a look of disgust, dodged him and continued walking. Alex turned and was now a pace behind her, trying to engage her in a conversation and faltering with every passing step. She sped up. It brought to mind a fly, desperately buzzing around a moving target, hoping that it would stop. A few seconds later, Alex gave up. Vercetti winced and called him back. By this time, the instructors had sent several of the other Rockstars out to seek eligible women close by where he could watch. “Never…” Vercetti said to Alex, “approach a woman head on. That is confrontational. And never approach from her purse side. She’ll think you’re a thief. If she keeps walking Many pickup artists turn to evolutionary after you first speak to psychology and theorize that “approach her, take a maximum of anxiety” has its roots in the days when humans two or three steps, while lived in small tribes in the wilderness. slowing your pace down, and then plant your feet. She will stop with you. Make her stop by projecting your voice and continuing to speak to her, even if she is walking away.” “Never walk with her and never, ever follow her. Also, don’t grab her elbow – just lightly touch it with two fingers to get her attention.” The lessons were straightforward and direct. There was no sugar coating. In two weeks, the Rockstars would fly to Stockholm to train intensively under Jeremy Soul, the international Yoda of day game. In Stockholm, they would learn the next phase - the subtle mechanics of maintaining an engaging conversation, of setting up a date in the middle of the day, or of turning an afternoon chat into something more… sexual. Several meters behind him, Vercetti heard a sharp, female “Fuck off!” He glanced around to see a small, attractive Korean woman. Her comment was directed with full force and rude intent at Aaron. Aaron’s face showed surprise at the sheer ugliness of the reaction and puzzlement as to how a - 35 -

Myths and Masters of the Game stranger could be so rude to him. Dr. Yen smiled at Aaron with a touch of comfort. “Don’t worry. You’re approaching women in the street. This is going to happen, especially while you’re learning. “Not to mention that … some women are just bitches.” Vercetti then turned to Jeff D’arcy. Jeff, a tanned, 40-something Australian with a surfer’s blonde bang shock in his brown hair, was here in part to teach the Rockstars business – the secrets behind how he built a multi-millionaire fortune over the years through wellplanned real estate investments and tax havens. Jeff was living a lifestyle that most of the Rockstars aspired to. He flew first class around the world, stayed in five-star hotels and did pretty much whatever he pleased. He lived where he wanted to live and only worked when he felt like it. He had earned it. At 15 years-old, a rocky relationship with his stepfather drove Jeff to leave home and work as a Jackaroo on a cattle station in Australia’s arid regions. Many of the men he worked with were driven to the outback by similar strife – and a drive to escape poverty. It was the first major revelation in Jeff’s life. Day Game He scraped up the money to finish school Comm on Mi after the realization that adversity can Never stake a p s: p r oach drive him to better things. Never a wom But right now, Covent Garden is approa an he ad on c h f Neve r where Jeff wanted to be. For years, he o . m h r wal er pur k with se sid worked on sorting out his financial Neve e. h e r. r EV life – and succeeded. He also had the ER f ollow physique of someone 20 years his her. junior, a legacy of years of martial arts training. Those were the first two of the three cornerstones of most self-help philosophy – health and wealth. Now, Jeff was working on sorting out the third – relationships. In return for his financial advice and training, Jeff was receiving instruction from dating masters, along with the Rockstars. Key to Jeff was how to avoid gold diggers in his search for the perfect women. As Jim told him, the main rule was to hide his wealth. To many men, who are used to exaggerating their financial success in order to attract women, - 36 -

Day Game

the advice seemed counterintuitive. But then, much of the advice the Rockstars would receive over the next two months didn’t gel with common logic. “A lot of rich guys tell girls that they are wealthy, as if that alone will drop their pants,” Jim had told him. “It does make a difference, but not if you show it off. And let’s face it, who wants a girl to like them just because they are rich.” Jeff had already seen two of the Rockstars shot down by women in their first daytime approaches – it was looking like the start of a massacre. When Vercetti pointed out a cute blonde and ordered him to approach, Jeff hunched over, resigned, and expected more of the same. He would get through this, although he didn’t expect much. She was in her mid 30s and held a shopping bag as she walked briskly by. Jeff walked toward her, certain he would fail. He was beginning to think the whole day of trying to pick up women on the streets of London was an exercise in humiliation. He thought the instructors were simply trying to toughen the students up. Jeff approached from slightly off to her left – away from her purse as he had been told. “Excuse me,” he said. “I just had to say you are stunningly beautiful and I just had to …” She glanced toward Jeff’s hands to determine if he was trying to sell her something. Then she hurried away without a word. Jeff’s expectations of failure came true. Vercetti then sent him to another blonde. Then a brunette. Then a Japanese woman. Then a redhead. Then a student. Then a businesswoman. Over the next two hours, Jeff was rejected by more women than in the previous five years combined. Ego hits can break a man. He can start to see himself in the eyes of the women who reject him - seeing himself as unworthy of others’. Or it can toughen him and make him resistant to rejection. A man who expects to keep his ego intact during two months of constantly approaching women on the streets, subways, in the coffee shops and the clubs and pubs of Europe and North America had better develop a rock solid ego. Right there, in the center of Covent Garden in broad daylight, Jeff was digging as deep as he ever had to maintain his self-esteem. And he succeeded. Based on personal experience, Jeff knew to take heart from his setbacks as much as from his successes. He was sent after yet another brunette. By this time, Jeff had lost count of how many women he had approached. All anxiety about approaching beautiful - 37 -

Myths and Masters of the Game women had left him, even though he had met with nothing but rejection so far. Jeff knew that rejection was not the same as failure. Jeff had succeeded in realizing that rejection was virtually painless. It was not a rejection of him, a man they hadn’t known for more than a few seconds, but of his approach. With a bit more study and finesse, Jeff thought, he may be able to make this work. As he jogged over to her, he summoned the memory of another major turning point in his life. Nearing his 40th birthday, financially successful from his financial advisory company, he divorced from a seven-year marriage. Too many months of absence on international speaking circuits as a specialist financial adviser had taken their toll on his long-suffering wife back in Australia. He threw himself further into his work. Fresh off the separation, he posed for a photo for a brochure he intended to use to advertise his financial consultancy. “Say Cheese!” the plump woman photographer said. Jeff tried to smile. In photo after photo, his smile came across as a grimace - more like the look of a man with serious heartburn. As the camera flashed before his eyes, so did his life. He realized that happiness had long escaped him. At that moment, he decided to learn how to smile again. He decided to sell his business. He had money, status and health. But he found himself unhappy still. His broken marriage and the moments of intense loneliness filled the void of work with a different unhappiness. He decided to take action. So, he found himself now in Covent Garden. The brunette’s dainty frame kept disappearing behind larger bodies in the thicket of passersby. Jeff had to stop several times to regain his bearings. Finally, he caught up with her. She was stunning - the most beautiful woman he had seen in months. His opening line, which he had repeated to more than a dozen women that day, came for the first time with a ring of complete authenticity. “Excuse me,” he said, touching her lightly on the elbow – the elbow away from her purse. “You are stunningly beautiful. I was standing over there with my friends when I saw you and I felt compelled to come and introduce myself.” The few truly devoted, successful pickup artists in the world arrive at an epiphany at some point in their studies. It happens at the moment the memorized lines become true - when they approach a woman with complete authenticity. - 38 -

Day Game

At that point, his smile engulfs her smile, his eyes capture hers. The electricity is there from the very beginning. It’s magic. They sweep each other off their feet. She glanced toward Jeff. Momentum carried her another step. She stopped for a second as Jeff’s words She was stunning - the most beautiful registered in her mind. Despite her beauty, it was the first time woman he had seen in months. His opening anybody had approached her line, which he had repeated to more than a so boldly - yet so sincerely dozen women that day, came for the first time with a ring of complete authenticity. - in broad daylight. Usually, daytime approaches come in the form of catcalls from groups of construction workers, offers from men eager for a chance to help her up stairs with her bags, or the leers on the buses from groping perverts. This was quite… different. Jeff, caught up in the moment, was living out his epiphany. He presented an image of confidence and calm even amid the gutsy display. His shoulders were straight and his voice steady. She smiled. Jeff’s heart jumped, renewing his enthusiasm after the emotional drain of hours of rejections. But a sincere delivery, Jeff suspected, was not enough to hold this woman. She had stopped to hear him out. Now was the problem of what to say next. ”So. What brings you out on the streets of London on this gorgeous sunny day?” Jeff asked. He already suspected that a link was imminent. His job was to cement it. “Some shopping and some looking around?” Her words, in a strong eastern European accent, ended in the tone of a question – as if to politely ask him why he was talking to her. She was still smiling. She brushed her hair back from her face – a classic subconscious movement that could indicate potential interest in the man before her. “G’day for it. Where are you from?” … And a conversation took root. Her name was Anna. She was from the Ukraine and was staying for a few months in London to improve her English. She studied marketing and spoke four languages fluently. And she was 22 years old – half Jeff’s age.   Jeff, taking heart as Anna lingered, realized he would have to deepen the conversation, or at least make it more fun and shift it off of the mundane topics that would soon stale. At that moment, Jeff caught Aaron out of the corner of his eye, approaching a Korean girl with the line “You are absolutely gorgeous.” - 39 -

Myths and Masters of the Game The line was too quiet for Jeff and Anna to hear clearly. But the reply was loud and clear. “You! Fuck off!” In the frenzy of the mass approaches, Aaron forgot that it was the same girl he had hit on earlier. Aaron was not having a good day. Jeff chuckled at the absurdity of it – a group of guys clustered in a crowded downtown street randomly telling strange women that they were beautiful. The smile made him falter for a second but the obvious enjoyment on his face had entertained Anna. She smiled too.   Jeff breathed calmly but deeply as he recovered. He began speaking of his recent two-week trip to Moscow. He spoke of his impression that Russians had an inner warmth underneath an often cold exterior. Anna, who had also recently been to Moscow, agreed. She seemed to warm further at the comment. Dr. Yen, curious at the beauty of the woman and the progress of his student, sidled up beside them while feigning interest in a nearby shop window. His presence served as a reminder to Jeff that he was not here just to have a great conversation. He was here for a purpose. As the community would call it, he was here “to close” – to get a number, a kiss. Something to solidify the interaction and move it forward. Jeff felt tempted just to enjoy the conversation a few minutes more and avoid the risk of rejection he would face by asking for her phone number. But his whole day would seem pointless and random without “closing.” He shifted the topic to London nightlife and mentioned that, in two days, he would be visiting some West End clubs with his “friends.” She said she would come and bring a friend. Then she gave Jeff her phone number. After another few minutes, Jeff and Anna turned and parted ways, both smiling. Dr. Yen had been listening to the last several minutes of the conversation. He grinned with his eyes. “Mate,” Dr. Yen said. “I don’t think she understood half of what you said. But it doesn’t matter. That was not a half bad job. Not half bad at all.” Had Jeff approached her two hours earlier, he knew, he would have failed. His discomfort at the new experience, his nervousness and his straining to remember opening lines would have driven her away without a second glance. Jeff felt the momentousness of the phone number. It wasn’t about Anna. It was about him. His life was about to change. “It can work” he thought, still - 40 -

Day Game

amazed. He had proven to himself, without a shadow of doubt, that he could have an abundance of beautiful, sincere women in his life without having to rely on his wealth. He could use his personality, his boldness and his budding talent to take care of that for him. Was sincerity the key? Of course, he made no mention to Anna of his seduction studies. He didn’t tell her that his friends would be going out under the tutelage of professional pickup artists to learn to more effectively hit on random women. Jeff’s more immediate concern was whether she would even answer the phone when he called. Jeff, not wanting to lose the boost of optimism that the last 15 minutes had given him, decided to wait a day to text Anna. If he texted today and she didn’t reply, he could lose the good mood of the moment. Jeff wandered back to the cluster of students, who were now comparing notes in the aftermath of their first emotionally draining foray into day game. Aaron had approached 24 women and scored no phone numbers. Claude won two phone numbers but it was unlikely they would return his calls. Alex had friendly conversations with a few but instructors were horrified by his poor posture and nervous body language. Vercetti, the Love Systems body language expert, pledged to help him with that. Micha, the tall Swede, fared the worst, spending most of the day in pub bathrooms with a severe case of diarrhea, which he thought was brought on by the unsanitary living conditions of the Rockstar Mansion. All of the Rockstars were exhausted – emotionally and physically. They had been studying morning to night for five days on topics such as exercise and diet, wealth building, meditation, goal-setting, social dynamics and cognitive behavioral therapy while trying to settle into an unfamiliar city and living with strangers.   And the day marked an intensification of the pace. They had to now return home for lessons on female psychology. And then they would face their first serious night out. After a day of frequent rejections on London’s streets, they faced a night in her clubs.

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Myths and Masters of the Game

How to Get Laid like a Rock Star Abridged seminal post from the early days of the Community by pickup artist Veroxii.

DON’T BE SEXUALLY JUDGMENTAL IN ANY WAY. A woman’s worst fear is to be perceived as a slut. DON’T GET ANGRY AT HER. Women know they have emotional outbursts and they need to trust that you can handle that. It’s ok (and necessary) to occasionally put your foot down. DON’T LET HER MANIPULATE YOU OR CONTROL YOU IN ANY WAY. She will immediately lose all respect for you. Always be leading. DON’T TRY TO IMPRESS HER IN ANY WAY. Don’t show off. Don’t talk about accomplishments or possessions. As soon as she perceives that you are trying to prove yourself to her, she loses all interest. DON’T IGNORE HER FRIENDS. A woman values her friend’s opinions more than just about anything else in the world. If one woman is feeling different than the others, she will drag them away. They will follow like a flock of pigeons. Society is the book of women. (Notice that men do NOT behave this way! Women are very different!) To get a woman attracted/emotionally vulnerable, give her lots of emotions and feelings. Don’t just make her feel good. Make her feel good, and angry, and sad, and connected, and astonished, and intrigued, etc. Make her laugh. Tease her. Tell stories about your - 42 -

Man Game

sick puppy. Tell her why things would never work out between the two of you. Call her a dork. If she gets heated up, she will start touching you...playfully push her away. If she calls you a jerk and punches your arm, you are doing it right. If she gives you that “I can’t believe you just said that” look, do NOT back down, do not say “Oh I’m just kidding” or anything like that. She will start asking you lots of questions. This is what chicks do when they suddenly find themselves attracted to a man they know nothing about. This is your chance to open up a little and also find out more about her and build a deeper connection. Make sure she gets the feeling that you have standards and that you are judging her based on them. Ask her questions that show her you are checking her out to see if she is up to snuff. Women don’t like to feel like you are with them only because you can’t do any better. They prefer to feel like you have high standards; you can get any chick you want, but you chose HER because she is SOOOO special and SOOOO different from all the others. Yeah, I know. Take responsibility for every escalation. A woman will do just about anything as long as she doesn’t have to feel like it was “her fault.” Make it YOUR fault. Make it “just happen.” Don’t get her horny until you get her isolated. Believe me, emotional is better than horny. Keep the woman always swinging somewhere between validation and rejection. If she feels rejected, she drops out or gets REALLY MAD. And if she feels too validated, she will ditch you in a heartbeat. So push her away (emotionally) and then pull her back in. One more thing...many guys make the mistake of listening to female romantic advice. Don’t listen to them, THEY DON’T KNOW WTF THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT, and they WILL steer you wrong. They will tell you what they THINK they want, instead of what they actually RESPOND to. And furthermore, a large part of the female sexual experience IS the inability to admit these things BECAUSE they derive sexual pleasure from putting up resistance and being overwhelmed.”

FOLLOWING ME EVERYWHERE!” MICHA SHOUTED INTO THE THEY’RE phone tat the emergency dispatcher. “I’ve seen them all over the city. Now

they’re trying to get into my apartment. They wanna kill me! Come quick!” Micha’s voice was cracking dry after 72 hours of no sleep or food. He was - 43 -

Myths and Masters of the Game sweating cold. “OK. Remain calm. The police are on the way,” the dispatcher said. “Do you know who these people are?” “I think they’re government agents,” Micha said, distress slurring his words. “Or maybe they’re after something else. I’m not really sure but they’re everywhere. They have been following me all over the city.” The dispatcher softly, sympathetically, instructed Micha to sit and wait for the police. He sat alone in the dawn light of the one bedroom apartment in Stockholm, sweating cold. Throughout the Nordic city, apartment lights were winking on, morning buses were rumbling into gear, clock alarms were ringing, workers were grabbing hot coffees on the way to offices and shops. Life, for most, was normal – bills to be paid, bosses to placate, plans for Friday night, dreams of love affairs. For Micha, this life had stopped. Micha could no longer tell the difference between reality and his hallucinations. The walls of his apartment were trembling with the vibrations of his eyeballs, the floor unsteady under his feet. Within hours of his frantic call, he found himself in a psychiatric ward. For years, the sting of the heroin needle had triggered Michel Genetay’s rare interludes of carefree moments of bliss amid the dayslong parties that were bringing him friendships centered on drugs and alcohol, fleeting episodes of sex that he could barely remember, and destroying his body and soul. At 27, he now sees his late teens and early 20s through the stroboscopic effect of Micha psychotropics. Brief flashes of clarity punctuated by blur and hallucination. He remembered the drug marathons, waking on strange floors, on strange beds, looking up at unfamiliar ceilings in the morning, the roughness of bus station benches. Micha slept with a few women during those years but he can’t remember how many – nor can he remember most of their names. It would usually be while both were in a drug-induced state, their libidos heightened chemically. She would often regret it the next day. He would often forget about it. He never slept with the same woman more than a few times. The moment they would - 44 -

Man Game

complain about his constantly drugged-up state, they were out the door. The lifestyle had taken him far away from working-class southern Sweden, the manual labor, the neighbors without imagination, his tough, hard-bitten sea captain father. During his three months in the psychiatric ward and the rehabilitation center, Micha attended group counseling sessions with other heroin addicts. When he got out, Micha avoided his old friends and habits. He left home with less than $1,000 in his pocket during a hiring boom in Oslo, the Norwegian capital, and landed a job as a forklift driver. After months, the constant grinding of the forklift controls wore out his left arm – just like it started to again wear down his enthusiasm for life. Without drugs, he had trouble making friends and he no longer had any clue how to even talk to women, let alone get them into bed or form any kind of longer-term relationship. That’s when he stumbled on the call for applicants to Project Rockstar. Leaving the world of drugs was his greatest achievement. But now he needed another achievement to match that one. He needed a massive transformation. Jim Stark’s words of enticement about Rockstar seeded Micha’s imagination. Within weeks, the forklift driver found himself dreaming up a montage of colorful scenarios – flying around the world in business class, scoring invites to the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles, attracting strippers at the world’s most expensive venues, living a lifestyle of swimming pools, palm trees and bonding with cool guys with similar aspirations. And, just maybe, he would fall in love. Maybe he would score permanent financial freedom. The images were not all clear in his head. And some of them were contradictory. How does a Playboy lifestyle and sex with strippers gel with having a meaningful relationship? He would sort that out later. Because he knew, to achieve any of it, he needed to first leave behind a mundane lifestyle that was threatening to bore him into oblivion. That dim morning waiting for the police in his Stockholm apartment had freed him from the hallucinations. But it had also marked the beginning of a much longer-lasting clarity – a life change, which would culminate in his participation in Project Rockstar. So, in September, Micha found himself sharing the dilapidated East London apartment with men from six different nations to study how to approach, attract, and seduce women. More importantly, he was also studying the fundamentals - 45 -

Myths and Masters of the Game of a solid lifestyle – health, wealth and relationships. Jim had cherry-picked dozens of speakers from among the pickup community worldwide to help coach the Rockstars and help them go Supernova. The community had infiltrated all professions and class levels on all continents. From major centers such as New York, London and Toronto, the game had spread to secondary cities and, The Philosophy of Push-Pull surprisingly quickly, to small towns and villages. Routines designed for use Give a girl your attention and then take it on the glamour babes of Los Angeles away. Make her chase you when you are not were being repeated in small towns of Oklahoma, rural Australia, quaint chasing her. Delivered right, it is fun and villages in Italy and even to the reaches sexually exciting for both parties. of Africa and Southeast Asia. Tens of thousands of men worldwide were forming local clubs of pickup artists, worldwide where they would exchange advice on meeting women and, occasionally, go out in groups to “sarge” – community lingo for trying to pick up girls. Among them, were professionals of all stripes. In major cities, it would be possible, with some searching, to hire a lawyer who was a pickup artist, have your computer repaired by another PUA and contract a PUA plumber before a Friday night out with a group of PUAs. Love Systems was now a major player in that world, seeking to carve out a niche of normality. From among experienced dating coaches and others within the Love Systems community, Jim had found the professional opera singer who would train the Rockstars’ voices specifically with an eye to maintaining a commanding tone in loud clubs and attracting women. A professional comedian pickup artist would coach the Rockstars to nurture their sense of humor. He also managed a comedy club where the Rockstars would have to perform at the end of their training. A professional financier, several entrepreneurs, two physical trainers, a fashion coach, a psychologist and others would help the Rockstars with the health and wealth portions of the triad. All of them were pickup artists in their own right, trained by Jim. Most requested the right to hang around the instructors to help improve their game in return for training the Rockstars. The Love Systems instructors who would coach the Rockstars to improve their ability with women also specialized in various areas. - 46 -

Man Game

Steve White, known to aspiring pickup artists as 5.0, would take the students to high-end London clubs. 5.0 had developed sensitivity for the etiquette of the clubbing social elite through his acquaintance with well-known musicians and actors. The high-end clubs, where VIP tables and $800 bottles of vodka commanded the attention, were notoriously cliquey. Women were painfully conscious of their social status and would rarely risk being seen talking to a random man – unless he had first at least indirectly established very high social value. Jeremy Soul is one of the best-known day-game artists in the community worldwide. He would host the group in Stockholm shortly to teach his art. Daniel Vercetti, who moved with a grace and authority that commanded attention in clubs after years of dance and acting training, would teach the students how to attract women mainly through the use of body language.   But the objective, for most, would be Jim’s “Man Game.” Man Game is bold, often brash, and cuts to the chase. “A great guitar player can recognize another great guitar player from only a few notes,” Jim said. “And a great guitar player can recognize a poor guitar player from only a few notes. An attractive woman knows a real man in much the same way. She recognizes it instantly.” ”Yes, the lines and routines work. Yes, they are important to lubricate the male to female interactions. But beyond this, at some point, she will see the real you. So who is the real ...a real man is willing to walk away you? Are you a pussy? Do you from a beautiful woman who is behave issues around sex, social having badly. His self respect is more situations and relationships important than any woman. between men and women? A quality man has these things sorted out. And a quality woman can sense this. This is the essence of Inner Game and the basis of Man Game.” “Women want a real man. What is a real man? A real man is ambitious someone who chases what he wants, is largely unaffected by what others think of him, teems with self-confidence, takes responsibility and realizes the power of masculinity and its counterpart, femininity. A real man leads but knows when to follow. He sets personal boundaries. And, importantly, a real man is willing to walk away from a beautiful woman who is behaving badly. His self respect is more important than any woman.” - 47 -

Myths and Masters of the Game Whereas much of the world of pickup artists was focusing on pickup lines that minimized the chance of a brutal rejection, Man Game welcomed potential rebuffs and diminished the risk by immunizing the man to rejection. Classic pickup artistry, as practiced since The Game was published, teaches men to start conversations with women indirectly. They would start by asking them the time, or for an opinion on whether their niece should get a tattoo of her boyfriend’s name. Man Game, as the Rockstars found out in Covent Garden earlier, uses them infrequently. A key realization needed for Man Game is that women want sex just as much as men. But it’s the man’s job to initiate it. A Man Gamer must realize that single women go to clubs to find, flirt with, or hook up with men. Still, Man Game has its own codes, routines and theories. “You know what?” some of the Rockstar instructors would say a few minutes into a steamy conversation in a club. “I’m thinking that you should get away from me right now. I’d do bad things to you and spoil you for all men.” The line, which few aspiring pickup artists could deliver effectively without first understanding female psychology, is then followed by more standard community theory to soften the effect. “Why are you doing this to me? This is totally your fault.” The line is straight out of the philosophy of push-pull – give a girl your attention and then take it away. Make her chase you when you are not chasing her. Delivered right, it is fun and sexually exciting for both parties. Through the course of Rockstar, the students would have to deliver dozens of lines such as these. They would, as they called it, “go caveman” – in several instances physically pick up a girl on the street or in a club and twirl her around before uttering a single word to her. They would slap a girl on the ass for a sassy response to an opening line. They would approach a girl by telling her she has great tits. Through the mental preparation and the 16 hours a day of practice and instruction, they would not only manage to avoid arrest while doing so – they would kiss women within seconds of meeting them. Some would even take different women home night after night.   The paradox of “cavemanning” is that it requires the greatest finesse of all the pickup artist’s tools. Before attempting it, the Rockstars needed to learn to spot when a girl would be receptive and when she might feel physically threatened. Importantly, the Rockstars also needed the confidence to approach unfalteringly – one flinch or hesitant gesture and she would smell the lie.   - 48 -

Man Game

Throughout Jim’s speech, the Rockstars had been distracted by an intermittently beeping cell phone that nobody could locate. It seemed to be coming from one of the bags piled under the table. As they grabbed their bags to head out for dinner, Jeff discovered that the beeping phone was his. He had bought the phone on arrival in London and he wasn’t familiar with its voice-mail tone. The recorded voice was that of Anna, the stunning Ukrainian he had met in Covent Garden. Jeff had already given up on her. “Yes. It would be very nice to go out tonight,” the voice mail said. “Can I bring a friend? She’s a Russian and I’m studying English with her.” From the seemingly random mid-afternoon meeting in Covent Garden, the Australian had scored an evening out with one of the most beautiful woman he had ever met. But first, he had to line up another guy to help occupy her friend. He knew he would have a hard enough time entertaining Anna alone, let alone having to deal with another woman at the same time. He turned to Micha, hoping that Anna’s Russian friend may relate best to another European – even a girl-crazed Swede. Vercetti was assigned to go along, supervising Jeff and Micha from afar, as an undercover dating coach. This was going to be unlike any date that Jeff had ever experienced.

- 49 -

Myths and Masters of the Game

In 2004, 28 men and women were exposed to erotic images while undergoing brain scans at Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia. The scans showed that men had significantly higher levels of activity in the amygdale, the almond-shaped segment of the brain that controls emotional response. “If males and females found the pictures equally arousing, you would assume they would have similar patterns of brain activation,” said researcher Stephan Hamann. “But we discovered the male brain seems to process visual sexual cues differently. “There is an advantage for males in quickly recognizing and responding to receptive females through visual cues,” he said. “This allows them to maximize their mating opportunities, which increases their chances for passing on their genes.” That sexual excitement, though, can also cloud male judgment and leave them out of synch with women, much to a man’s reproductive disadvantage.

OUTSHONE EVERY WOMAN IN THE UPPER FLOOR OF ON ANON NIGHT ANNA club - the curves of a bikini model, long, straight black hair that shone of

health and youth and sharp facial features that spoke of an appreciation of the refined. She looked like an improved version of Lara Croft in a flowing black dress. Jeff’s heart sped up. - 50 -

Girl Fever

“Wow. You look gorgeous tonight,” he said. She laughed.   “Thank you. On my way here, I was stopped on the street seven times by different guys who told me the same thing.” Jeff bit his tongue at the irony. He knew another pickup company was running a boot camp in the area. No doubt Anna had been the object of a frenzied evening of what the community calls “street game.” Street game differs from day game in that it focuses on the streets in popular party areas during the night. Street game practitioners target women going to or coming from clubs. They have more leisure time than day game targets - who are often shopping or traveling to meetings in the afternoon. And the women often have their guards down more outside of clubs. Inside, they are usually conscious that they are being watched and are eager to avoid being seen as easy or talking to men who are quite possibly losers, making them more likely to flatly reject an approach by a stranger. Outside the club, an approach from a pickup artist can benefit from some of the “surprise” effect of day game approaches. On Anon was pickup central in London. Some other pickup instruction companies had also started bringing students to the same club for their first taste of approaching women randomly in bars. On Anon had nine separate large rooms spread over three floors. If a student got badly and noticeably rejected in one room, he could move on to the next, where the women had not seen his humiliating blowout. Also, being in the heart of this historically significant Piccadilly Circus in London, On Anon attracted a constantly changing crowd of women – Americans, Italians, eastern Europeans – who were in London as tourists or students. In a club with a steady clientele of regulars, the constant Friday night streams of pickup-artists-in-training could have inured women to the come ons. This would not happen at On Anon. Another major advantage of On Anon, from the point of view of a company bringing crowds of men, was that the doormen rarely turned anybody away. Of course, no doorman anywhere would have turned away Anna or the friend she brought that night, a beautiful, hour-glass Russian blonde named Tatiana. Micha, who had been pessimistic about the quality of his blind date earlier in the evening, brightened up as he saw Tatiana. The four took a seat in the lounge area of the upper floor. The group fell into a formation that had the two women side by side facing Jeff and Micha across a small table. This was the first red flag to Jeff. “Dating Rule No.1 - avoid - 51 -

Myths and Masters of the Game sitting across from a girl on a date,” Jeff remembered Jim telling him. Using the excuse of going to the bar to get a drink and having a quick whisper with Micha, Jeff rearranged the seating. After the shuffle, the two girls were sitting side by side on the sofa and Micha and Jeff sat on either side of them. The four were in a row with girls on the inside and guys on the outside. Jim’s training was starting to kick in. Firstly, the new seating arrangement allowed the men to begin the process that the community has dubbed “physical escalation.” Sitting comfortably beside the girls, Micha and Jeff could slowly accustom Dating Rule No.1 them to their touch. First a light touch on the forearm as they were making a point in the conversation. Then perhaps a more lingering Avoid sitting hand on the shoulder, a fleeting arm around across from a girl the lower back, a brief hand hold. The slow, steady escalation was designed to minimize on a date. awkwardness during the first attempt at a kiss. Jim likened it to dropping a frog in cold water and slowly turning up the temperature until it’s cooked. Drop a frog straight into boiling water, and it will jump out. On most first dates, men sit across a table over dinner and the first physical contact later in the night – typically when he tries to kiss her – marks a jarring, awkward break from the polite distance they maintained throughout the evening. The second effect of the positioning was to shift the girls’ attention away from each other. As Jeff spoke to Anna, her back would be turned to Tatiana and she would focus solely on Jeff. Tatiana would be doing likewise with Micha. This allowed the guys to make a move on a girl without her feeling the pressure of having her friend watch her, and possibly judge her. Jeff’s words, though, weren’t as smooth as he would have liked. In the first 30 minutes of conversation, he was growing more enchanted with the woman beside him. And, following pickup doctrine, he was trying to pretend to be aloof to convey the attitude that many equally beautiful women regularly vie for this attention. He tried to correct this by using a “takeaway.” Takeaways are routines designed to show a lapse of interest in a girl. They are meant to subtly convey a willingness to walk away, while enticing the woman to chase the man. Takeaways usually come after a woman has said something disagreeable. - 52 -

Girl Fever

But takeaways can also be forced. Anna said nothing disagreeable. In fact, the more she spoke, the more Jeff grew attracted. She spoke four languages fluently, was well traveled for her age, devoted to her family, and showed no signs of being stuck up as many beautiful women are. So Jeff tried to force a takeaway. His takeaway plan came straight from the Love Systems philosophy. “So, can you cook?” Jeff asked. He suspected Anna, in her youth, beauty and obviously wealthy upbringing would say no. He then planned to say “Oops. You’re losing me here. I really like a woman who can cook.” But Anna replied that, yes, she loved to cook and often prepared applestuffed goose, pirogues or varenyky pastries for her family back in the Ukraine. His attempt to force a takeaway failed. Jeff was left momentarily confused – and more enthralled. Throughout the conversation, Jeff had been vague when Anna asked questions about his career. If he were being completely open, he could have said that he had worked hard to build a real estate empire and financial consultancy that gave him independent wealth and the freedom to retire and live out his dreams at 40. Most men in his situation would say precisely Takeaways are routines designed to show that. Even many men not in his a lapse of interest in a girl. They are meant situation would lie to feign his to subtly convey a willingness to walk away, level of success. But Jeff was while enticing the woman to chase the man. learning that much of seduction is counter-intuitive. If he told her that he was independently wealthy, it could come across as bragging, or lying. Talk of that nature too early could also create a gold-digger instinct in a woman, with the deceitfulness that may imply. Better let her find out gradually – if, that is, he could turn this date into something more meaningful. Taking the cue from Anna’s professed love for animals, Jeff told stories of his days as a Jackaroo on the Australian outback cattle station. About 10 meters away, by the bar, the coolest man in the room stood watching. The presence showed complete comfort in his own body, the relaxed but powerful poise, the deep voice that cut through the music without effort and the quick, sincere smile. The presence was unmistakable. Vercetti, standing beside a few other dating instructors, was watching the seduction process with a professional eye. He decided that Jeff and Micha, after a half-hour of conversation and only the lightest of touches, had to escalate or risk boring the girls or, worse, risk being written off as “just friends.” - 53 -

Myths and Masters of the Game Vercetti caught Jeff’s eye and motioning toward himself. This, Jeff knew, was the signal to introduce Vercetti and the others to the girls. The idea of introducing women to his male friends was uncomfortable to Jeff. Back in Australia, he avoided allowing friends to talk to his dates. They would all too often hit on the women, creating an uncomfortable atmosphere of competition. This would raise the woman’s perceived value as several men vied for her attention. It would also signal to her that Jeff’s friends were untrustworthy and, maybe by extension, he was too. Dan, a Chinese Londoner who was studying to become a dating coach, walked up to the table alongside Vercetti. In a slight leap of faith, Jeff introduced them. The introductions caught Anna’s attention. Now, Jeff was a demonstrably social creature with cool friends. He had hit another attraction trigger. The three spoke politely for a couple of minutes, calling both Micha and Jeff  “a couple of really cool guys,” and then started talking among themselves to allow Jeff and Micha to redominate their individual conversations. Jeff’s fears, it appears, were unfounded. Vercetti was a professional. Vercetti looked at Micha. The Swede’s Viking instincts, he knew, would kick in on a moment’s instruction. He moved his fingers together in a subtle motion simulating a kiss, then walked back to the bar. Micha created a pause in his conversation, mid sentence, as if he were suddenly overwhelmed with urge. It was a pickup strategy meant to spike sexual tension. But the testosterone-driven Swede didn’t need to pretend. Micha was rapidly gaining a reputation among the Rockstars and their entourage for animal instincts and a high sex drive that could prompt him to impulsive action. He and Tatiana locked eyes in a moment of tension. She bit her lip. Cocked her head to the side. Softened her gaze. These were all the telltale signs that Jim had taught Micha to look for. They were signs of a girl ready to be kissed. After the first second, the frisson was unmistakable. Micha raised his hand to the back of her neck, running fingers through her long blonde hair, and kissed lightly. After a moment’s retreat to gaze again briefly into each other’s eyes in a look of understanding, they kissed again, harder, upper bodies tightening against each other. Jeff had seen this and felt a heightened pressure to do the same. Anna, whose back was turned to her friend, did not see the kiss. Jeff’s conversation continued, kissless, while the other couple embraced the sexual tension. Vercetti, back at the bar, knew that Jeff would lose his girl if he didn’t - 54 -

Girl Fever

make a move soon. He knew that there was an “escalation window” – a certain length of time where a woman is sexually receptive and a man has to be sexually aggressive. Having seen this situation thousands of times, Vercetti could sense that Jeff would lose Anna perhaps the next time he or she went to the bar to get a drink, interrupting the flow of conversation. Another five minutes and Tatiana turned around to tap Anna, inviting her to the bathroom. The two went off together and Vercetti strode directly again to the table. “You’re going to have to kiss her soon man.” Vercetti addressed Jeff. “Or she’s going to get up and go dancing or something and you’ll lose her to some other guy. And she’ll take Tatiana with her. You will cost Micha his girl too. Trust me on this.” Indeed, now at 10:30 p.m., On Anon was starting to fill up with guys, many of them wearing funny hats. “Funny hats,” in some parts of the community, has become synonymous with men who are studying the pickup arts in the olden-days style of the Community. The object was mainly to stand out and demonstrate that the wearer of the hat could take social pressure and the possible ridicule. Too often, though, it was the Community at large that was being ridiculed and the funny hats started to fade from fashion. For all too many pickup students though – often computer nerds lacking many of the social graces – the hat served more as a dunce cap. Without the grace and confidence to support such an appendage, a peacock could quickly be devoured. A glance around On Anon now revealed a tricorn hat, an oversized top hat, and even a big fuzzy hat with aviator goggles. The funny hats, no doubt, would be approaching Anna at the first possible opportunity. And it may just be that the wearer has the confidence, suavity, and technique to support the hat. “Believe me, she’s ready for a kiss,” Vercetti said. Jeff, in his blinding and growing attraction to Anna, had grown cautious. He had failed to see the signs that were screamingly obvious to Vercetti, with his years of training and his dispassionate analysis. Anna had been playing with her hair, running her fingertip along the edge of her whisky glass, occasionally glancing at Jeff’s lips as he spoke. Her body language was increasingly opening to Jeff. She had moved so their knees touched from time to time, frequently stroked her hair, tried to create pauses in the conversation and held her face within kissing range. When Jeff occasionally touched her hand to emphasize a point, she would leave it in the same position, awaiting another touch. “Micha,” Vercetti said. “I want you to kiss your girl in front of Anna when they return. Jeff, you then have a minute to kiss Anna.” - 55 -

Myths and Masters of the Game Vercetti suspected that her friend’s kiss with Micha would eliminate the social pressure. Anna will no longer worry that she will come across as easy if she allows Jeff to kiss her. Jeff saw the girls. They had started to return from the bathroom, but a song came on that caught their attention and they started to dance together in the middle of the upper floor. All men, including the funny hats, were watching the mesmerizing sway of hips, the seductive smiles on spread lips. A man in a funny hat approached and spoke to them. Jeff’s adrenaline spiked and sat closer to the edge of his chair until Tatiana and Anna turned their backs to the man. Jeff, although relieved, winced in empathy for the poor guy, who was left alone, walled off by two backs in front of the entire room, on the dance floor. The man, perhaps with a bruised ego, would now have trouble approaching other women in the room. Everybody had at least subconsciously noted the rejection. The song ended and the two girls started to return to their table. Micha stood up and intercepted Tatiana with an embrace and a deep kiss. Anna, after a moment’s surprise, sat back down beside Jeff. Jeff mulled over his own instincts and emotions r e h it b e Sh for a second. This was, after all, a one-in-a lip. Cocked million girl that he simply could not lose. her head Deep inside, he felt a lucky man just to be tened her of S . e id e on a date with this beautiful, intelligent, to the s were all th e s e h T . d gaze a h sweet woman half his age. But no, he told s that Jim telltale sign to look for. himself. He earned this. He patiently and ha l ir taught Mic g a of s skillfully worked his entire life, surpassing e sign They wer . d e s is e k the vast majority of men in the world, to get ready to b where he is in his career. He earned himself financial freedom. Now, studying seduction, he was repeating the process. He earned, he told himself, the respect and admiration of beautiful women. His gut was telling him to wait and instead befriend the girl in hopes of a second date. Vercetti was telling him to kiss her now. He decided to trust Vercetti over his own gut. With Anna again beside him, he remained wordless. He captured Anna’s eyes. The gaze was deep, creating a mutual tunnel vision that shut out the rest of the club, silenced the sounds of the music, the clinking glasses, the calls of the shot girls … - 56 -

Girl Fever

The kiss came naturally now. The softness of her lips on his. A hint of vanilla in her perfume. The taste of whisky on her tongue. The cool relief of a freshly crunched ice cube. His hands caressed her arms, triggering a release of oxytocin, the cuddle drug that softens and sweetens contact between a man and a woman. Only five days in to Project Rockstar, Jeff was realizing the power of his studies. It all seemed worth it. Jeff, between embraces and a new, whisper-sweet level of conversation, lost track of time. After minutes, or maybe an hour, Anna and Tatiana went to the bar to buy themselves drinks. He turned to Micha and smiled. But Micha was vibrating like a sex toy with new batteries. “I wanna fuck this Russian girl – now.” Micha’s eyes are glazed even though he had been drinking nothing but water all night. His brain and body surged with a hormone high. “Let’s go,” Micha says. “We’ll take them back to a bar on Brick Lane. From there, it’s two minutes’ walk to the Rockstar Mansion. There’s a spare bedroom for you two. Trust me. We’ll be fucking them soon.” Jeff was reluctant. His gut told him to hold back. But he had spent the night fighting his instincts, overthrowing his intuition by pure force. And it was paying off. He decided to continue with what seemed to be working and trust Micha. “OK,” Jeff said. When the girls returned from the bar, Micha and Jeff said they wanted to go to another fun club. On Anon was getting crowded, drinks were slow to come, and the repetitive pop music was starting to get annoying. The girls agreed. It was now just after midnight and the trademark London black cabs lined up outside On Anon, dropping off revelers and waiting to pick up the inevitable bar hoppers. The streets were now crowded with an array of men and women shouting, singing out loud, chatting, joking, flirting. Piccadilly Circus was starting to bustle again.         The four climbed into one of the spacious cabs and Micha ordered the driver to Brick Lane. Tatiana, unfamiliar with most of the city, asked Micha where they were going. The tone of the question set off alarm bells in Jeff’s mind. He had assumed that Tatiana had, at least tacitly, agreed to move to a bar where intimacy could heighten. But her question belied a hesitation. Suddenly, they were again two - 57 -

Myths and Masters of the Game attractive girls in a cab with two strange men and going to an unknown location in an area of London they had never seen. Jim had warned Jeff about moments like this – it was called a “state break.” “Hey,” Jeff said. “It’s a really fun place. I think you’ll like it.”   For the first time that night, Jeff was lying. He was taking her to a useful place because of its proximity to a spare bed and nothing more. And he knew his delivery betrayed him. He lacked the authenticity that had intrigued Anna on their first meeting. The bar they aimed for was a low-key lounge that attracted hookah-pipe smokers, Turkish immigrants and the occasional hippy type that frequented the Brick Lane area. Fun it was not. But it had dark corners and was almost across the street from the Rockstar Mansion – the potential sex location. The girls glanced at each other and became quiet.   Micha, surprised by the sudden change, pulled out his blackberry and started texting instructors, asking for advice.   The silence in the back of the cab was starting to deafen. From outside as the cab made its plodding way through central London, the silence was punctuated by yells of merry-makers. Bachelorette parties of girls in bunny ears, crowds of joking students plugging intersections, convertibles with stereos blasting on maximum volume. Inside the cab, the atmosphere was dying by the second. Anna had detected the insincerity in Jeff’s voice as he tried to recover the fumble.   Jeff laughed, joked, and kissed Anna, occasionally lifting the mood. But the cab ride lasted 35 excruciating minutes. When they arrived at the bar, Jeff watched as the two girls looked at each other in obvious disgust. They had left an upmarket London club for a dive bar where the patrons seemed to have gone unshaven and unbathed for a week. Micha, now over the testosterone high, casted around for a way to make up for his miscalculation. He had received no Blackberry advice yet from the instructors. At that moment, glancing out the window, he saw Bugsy, a soft-spoken banker and amateur boxer who was helping teach pickup on Project Rockstar. Bugsy was a seamless pickup artist, and an instructor who immediately put students at ease. Micha darted out the door, yelling Bugsy’s name, hoping to get last minute advice to fix the situation. Jeff was left alone with Anna and Tatiana, who flatly stated that she wanted - 58 -

Girl Fever

to go home. Jeff kissed Anna again. And again Tatiana said she wanted to go home. Both girls declined drinks and remained standing by the entrance. Micha had been gone about five minutes when Anna announced that she, too, wanted to go home. The damage was done. Anna’s last kiss, before she climbed into a cab, was half-hearted. Neither she nor Tatiana ever responded to another text or phone call. Early in the night, Jeff learned to disregard his instincts. Late in the night, he learned to trust them. It was an issue he would have to fine-tune. In the end, he realized he had lost a girl that, for the first time in years, had really captured his attention. But he still had seven weeks of intensive training ahead of him. It was a good start. And he would not let another one slip away.

- 59 -

Myths and Masters of the Game

The Emotional Progression Model Outlined in Magic Bullets, the Love Systems bible of seduction The general overall linearity of the Emotional Progression Model yields five big insights: 1. Attraction comes before Qualification. Make a woman attracted to you before showing significant interest in her. 2. Attraction comes before Comfort. Make a woman attracted to you before commonalities, deep conversations, etc.

looking

for

3. Qualification comes before Comfort Have a woman work to win your interest before you open up to each other. 4. Comfort comes before Seduction Help a woman feel connected to you before progressing sexually. 5. Seduction comes before Relationships Whatever you want with a woman, your medium-term goal is to sleep with her. The last of these might be surprising and has certainly been controversial. A common insight into female sexual behavior is

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First Council

that women will often delay sex for some time with a man she sees as a potential boyfriend while satisfying physical needs with another man or other men in the meantime. While this is true, it does not mean that the man who is “dating and waiting” has the best chance of becoming her boyfriend. Very little builds as much intimacy with a woman as repeated sexual encounters. Sleep with her first, and then concentrate on showing her you’d be a good boyfriend rather than showing her you’d be a good boyfriend and then trying to sleep with her.

Emotional Momentum

A further insight concerns the principle of emotional momentum. Emotional momentum explains why most interactions need to move forward or die. You can’t stay in any particular phase forever. It will bore or frustrate most women. Even within a phase, you need to be moving forward. Say you had a great three hours meeting a woman at a party and made it all the way to the Comfort phase, but the next two weeks consisted of both of you unluckily leaving messages on each other’s voicemail. You will likely lose emotional momentum and your chances with her. Emotional momentum can work against you through no fault of your own. Emotional momentum can also work for you. Each phase that you can smoothly pass through builds up your momentum for the next one. When a woman talks about sleeping with you and says “it just happened,” that’s emotional momentum at work (and good Seduction skills). The whole process should happen quickly, not over months.

THE NEXT WEEK, THE ROCKSTARS HIT ON DOZENS AND DOZENS OF THROUGH women each. In pubs, clubs, on the street, in cafes, bookstores, clothing

shops, on doorsteps outside bank offices, near Parliament and Buckingham Palace. In their brief breaks, they joked with each other about the habits they were forming. Once in a while, when they saw each other on the street, “Hi. How’s it going” was replaced by a wink, nod, and the line “Hey. I was standing over there with my friend but I had to come talk to you. You are bloody gorgeous.” But the occasional jovial outburst failed to jolt them out of a funk that had been settling in for days. All of the Rockstars were feeling less than their best. Micha was still - 61 -

Myths and Masters of the Game battling bouts of diarrhea, Aaron had sprained his ankle during a physical training session and could no longer jog after hotties during day game, Claude was sneezing and coughing, Josh and Alex had given into bad colds, and Vishal had the early symptoms of what ambulance attendants weeks later would suspect was swine flu. On top of that, all of them felt something was missing from their transformation. Each had scored dozens of phone numbers, all had successfully kissed women randomly met and both Josh and Vishal had attracted beauties into their lives because of their pickup training.  All now knew that, through work and dedication, they could have a life filled with beautiful women. But was the work and dedication worth it? They had all also been rejected by more women in the last two weeks than in the rest of their lives combined. If they aimed to perfect their approaches to women, they were falling far short of perfect. It was more miss than hit. And all the Rockstars were running a sleep deficit. The hectic schedule had them grabbing burgers, French fries and other junk food during the brief breaks, depleting their energy. And the constant focus on women was starting to change their perceptions of their surroundings. After being pushed from morning to night to approach any beautiful woman they saw, the mere sight of a beauty could trigger another wearying adrenalin shot. And London abounded with beauties. Failure to act on that impulse to approach a woman would lead to a nagging feeling of failure. The standards they were holding themselves to were impossible. Most obviously lacking in the first two weeks, though, were mentions of love, commitment, and personal fulfillment. Girlfriends, emotional connections and beautiful sexual partners were in the back of the minds of all. Still, Jim was in a frenzy to whip the men into shape in time for Munich, where they would help him teach a bootcamp for six men who were paying almost $3,000 each for a weekend. The Rockstars needed to be ready to help force the clients to overcome anxiety over approaching strange women, to field the inevitable questions about how to start a conversation, how to continue it, how to initiate casual and more intimate touching with a woman. They had to be thoroughly familiar with Love Systems theory and be able to communicate it without looking up points in the 200 page text book, Magic Bullets. Love Systems President Nick Savoy, author of the book, had named it with a touch of irony. No magic bullets existed, he admitted. Seduction was hard work. Jim had reserved the right, from the beginning of the training, to send - 62 -

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individual Rockstars home if they didn’t live up to his expectations. But he sincerely hoped he wouldn’t have to do that. The first two weeks constituted Jim’s “breaking down period” – and most of the Rockstars were taking it hard. So Jim called them to a session meant to kick off their reconstruction and delve deeper into the study of a meaningful life – an emotionally draining nightlong group therapy session on the upper floor of a central London pub aptly named The Hope. Jim, Vercetti, 5.0, and the other Rockstar instructors gathered early behind closed doors to discuss the strengths and weaknesses of each Rockstar. They were preparing a life-changing barrage of perceptions and advice. Often, men fail to be attractive due to flaws deeply embedded in their character and personality. The intention was to weed out these flaws, no matter how deep they went. In a fearful group, the Rockstars entered the room. One by one, the council of instructors broke them down. Josh was first. “You immediately come across as stiff and wooden,” Jim told him as his five colleagues and eight instructors looked on. “People cannot see the real you. It looks like you’re acting – hiding something.” The first comment sunk in and Josh’s eyes already started to grow misty. With his opening sentences, Jim had hit something deep within Josh. Throughout his teen years, Josh suffered from severe social anxiety. Raised a Baptist and schooled with Catholics, he had struggled since his early years to fit in. It seemed he had spent his entire life worrying about what others would think of him. At 19 years of age, he joined an experimental program designed to shatter that anxiety. The psychologists had him standing in the middle of the sidewalk, singing off key as loud as he could, as pedestrians skirted around him, glancing at an apparent maniac. They had him approach strangers by introducing himself as an idiot, wear a dunce cap in public. At the end of it, he felt he had suffered the worst that social rejection had to offer. Indeed, during psychological evaluation of the Rockstars by a behavioral therapist days earlier, Josh showed more bravado than any of his colleagues. He answered a questionnaire by saying he had zero fear of approaching strangers, - 63 -

Myths and Masters of the Game rated himself a Perfect 10 in terms of attractiveness and professed a total confidence. At the start of the well-thought-out critique from Jim and the other instructors, Josh felt the anxiety coming back like a lightning bolt. His selfevaluation now seemed like wishful thinking. He began to fidget with his pen. “When talking to people, keep in mind that your shit stinks too man.” It was Vercetti, the powerful voice echoing through the chamber and in the heads of all Josh’s newfound friends. “People will like you more if they see that you’re not above them and are willing to let your guard down. But to do this, you have to be confident that they will like the real you. That, I think, may be the problem here.” After 15 minutes of the most honest, bare-knuckled advice and criticism Josh had ever received, he was biting back tears – or wiping them away before they could crawl down his cheek. But the worst was yet to come. Another instructor walked around the room and whispered in Jim’s ear. “I think we’re ignoring the elephant in the room here. We have to deal with that.” The elephant was a she. And she was a petite, smart brunette waiting for Josh back in New York City. It was his girlfriend. Maintaining a theoretically monogamous relationship while approaching hundreds of women conflicted with some of the central goals of Rockstar. The instructors were aiming for Man Game – openness, directness and honesty. Also, if Josh dramatically increased his level of success with women, and then hid it from the public during his blogging, it could make the instructors look bad. It could make it appear that the instructors were unable to help Josh despite their years of devotion and study of their craft. That would equal a show of disrespect – and that would violate yet another Rockstar principle. “You have to decide between your girlfriend and Rockstar,” Jim said, in front of all Josh’s colleagues and the instructors. “I am giving permission to everybody in this room – actually demanding – to write about you and your interactions with women.” Josh’s girlfriend, he knew, would read the blogs of the other Rockstars. He now faced a dilemma. In the first day after the council meeting at The Hope, Josh defied the general order to blog every day. He wrote nothing as he tried to recover from the blows. - 64 -

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Two days after the meeting, Josh wrote:   “I didn’t post yesterday.  My mind was too exhausted, and I was too drained emotionally.  The instructors convened to level each of the Rockstars with honest critiques and brutal observations.  They were not complimentary (for the most part), and did not pull any punches.  I saw at least three Rockstars tear up during their respective turns, including myself. Why is it so brutal to have people constructively criticize us?  What is it in our respective Egos that cannot suffer any one else’s impressions?  The human condition, as a rule, is a closed-ended system, and thus can never be truly ‘understood’.  And that, I think, was why our time with The Council was so terrible. My biggest criticism stemmed from my ‘wooden’ thin-slice; I come across as stilted in emotion, guarded in affect.  But the Instructors don’t know me, nor do they know the source of my poker-face.  My life has been such that a guarded temperament was crucial for my survival.  All they know is what they see. And yet … what they see is everything; literally, everything.  Whether or not people’s impressions of We are brought up learning how to spell, how to you are right, they are still their count, and how to speak.  But no one teaches us impressions.  And that, I think, body language, vocal projection, emotional overis why the meeting, as horrible reaching, etc.  Functional, practical solutions for as it was, and as infuriating as it calibrating the 50% or more that most people was, was so necessary.  We are notice about you from your body language alone. brought up learning how to spell, how to count, and how to speak.  But no one teaches us body language, vocal projection, emotional overreaching, etc.  Functional, practical solutions for calibrating the 50% or more that most people notice about you from your body language alone. And then the conversation turned towards my girlfriend … I’m not going to get into what was said, but I had to leave the meeting early to buy a pack a cigarettes, chain-smoke them, and contemplate where I am going in life.  It was very upsetting. I walked around for two hours, searching for guidance under the London street lamps, cloaked in a faint fog.”

Next up at the meeting was Micha. The forklift driver was told that he seemed to have an inferiority complex - 65 -

Myths and Masters of the Game when around people who were more successful than him – particularly financially. That included almost everybody in the room. He would grow quiet and self-conscious when talk turned to professional success, something he was clearly lacking, more than any other Rockstar. The comments, honed before the meeting by several men who had made a career of spotting strengths and weaknesses in others, hit home again. Micha’s eyes watered, bringing back the days of group therapy during drug rehabilitation and reconstruction. Subsequent criticism of the 6’ 4” Swede was gentler. “You have a really good warmth,” Jim said as Micha brought a finger to wipe the corner of his eye. “This gentleness contrasts with your size – the friendly giant. Warmth and fuzziness is your weapon – use it.” “If you are as big as you are, you need to act smaller.” The comment came from 5.0, the high-end club specialist. “Jim is a small guy so he can get away with grabbing a girl and throwing her in the air and twirling her around. The girls will think it’s fun. You can’t do that or you’ll scare the shit out of them. Offset your size with gentleness. You have it all, you just need to portray it in the right measure.” Aaron was next. He was told he came across as too analytical and cold. He needed to focus on developing emotional connections with others. He also, the instructors said, needed to develop more “sexual intent.” Sexual intent, in the Community, is shorthand for the passion communicated through an electric touch, sustained and serious eye contact or the slow, steady, rhythmic speech of a man in the thrall of infatuation.             Sexual intent is very hard to fake. And Aaron had been trying to fake it.             Vercetti told Aaron to refrain from masturbation. Aaron said that had never been an issue.             Dr. Yen told him about the Tantric sex practice of withholding male orgasm. Having sex for hours without cumming can leave a man vibrant - almost trembling with a sexual tension that is communicated subconsciously through every word, glance and touch.             “I guess I don’t really see myself as a sexual being,” Aaron answered, pausing between words. He constantly paused to write notes and flip through his notepad. “Maybe I’m doing this out of curiosity. Maybe … maybe I just don’t - 66 -

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have the sex drive that a lot of guys do.”             At 24, Aaron had already slept with 15 women and could last for hours in bed. He said he would consider studying Tantra, but he felt the main issue was emotional connection. He decided this would be his main focus for the next six weeks of training. Vishal was next. The Indian Englishman had gotten off to a rocky start on Project Rockstar. Several of the other Rockstars had accused him of bragging about his luxury car collection. He had told them, only half-jokingly, to go fuck themselves. Vishal had made a fortune of millions with his online fashion retail business by the time he was 20 and he did not hide that fact. After the initial disgruntlement of the other Rockstars, Vishal started to grow on them, almost like a bratty younger brother. But he was told that, because of his riches, he had to be more careful than the others so as not to appear he was bragging. “Look. I have to hide certain aspects of my life,” Vishal told the assembled instructors. “When I’m honest about my life, they tell me I am bragging.”             The tears came quick, as did the rise in his voice. The instructors were all men whom he respected. He knew they spoke from the heart, from well-honed intuition. He had long ago learned to disregard schoolboy banter and taunts. But this criticism came from a different source. His voice rose to anger as he recited a litany of impulse thoughts. “I have gotten pussy since I was 16 years old and I don’t need this. There’s lots more in my life than getting laid by some girls.” His voice cracked as he spoke and the first tear strolled down his face. He knew that in this place, with these men, bragging about success with girls would earn him no respect. Josh, sitting beside him and crying himself, clasped Vishal’s shoulders in a double-fisted massage to help release the tension. The emotion was starting to affect everybody in the room. “I’ve seen people fucked over hard in business life,” Vishal continued, now trembling. “I myself went from 40 million pounds to zero in the last few months and am working my way up again. I don’t trust anyone.” He then spoke of his father, a man he admired so much that he had tattooed his image on his chest and his name on his fingers. “My father said that people with big egos fall harder because there is - 67 -

Myths and Masters of the Game nobody there to catch them.” Vishal paused for thought. And stopped. And cried. His boyish charm could be a drawback as well as an asset.

Instructors Planning Feedback inside The Hope

Josh, overwhelmed by his own fresh beating and the sight of another, walked out. The instructors paused for refreshment and to let Vishal, Josh and the others catch their breath. Most Rockstars and instructors, after witnessing the outpouring of emotion, were feeling a mental exhaustion. The smell of fish and chips from the kitchen downstairs, and the animation of freshly poured pints of Guinness, started to nourish the room back to life after a break. The attention turned to Alex – still an enigma to everybody in the room. “I feel like I’m starting off from scratch again,” Alex said, introducing the topic while flicking the cover of a fresh fruit container in front of him. Nobody knew what to say. A month ago, Alex had seemed eager and dynamic. In the last two weeks, he had sat alone, pensive and uncommunicative. Jim took on the aspect of a computer with a humanitarian program. Brow furrowed, he looked around for input from the others. There was none. Alex did not compute. “You have to figure this out for yourself,” Jim said. Much later, looking back at Project Rockstar, Alex would say that he - 68 -

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was actually helped by that early period of awkwardness. He wanted to avoid miscommunication, avoid allowing his fellow Rockstars to form a quick opinion of him. For he felt a massive transformation would come. He would, he swore at the time, be a new man within weeks. Jim’s main concern, though, was Claude, the Canadian politician. Amid sneezing fits, sleepless nights and occasional bouts of nausea, the Quebecer had started to grow disheartened at the sheer amount of personal sacrifice involved in Rockstar. He was contagious – not only the lingering cold but the disenchantment as well. As the oldest Rockstar, he found himself in the unusual situation of having the most to prove. He was competing in clubs with women 20 years younger, in a lingo from another generation, and was feeling the pressure. He was used to standing out, being the center of attention. He wasn’t doing that here. “You have an ego issue,” Jim said. Claude laughed. That very laugh, Jim said, had betrayed Claude’s nervousness dozens of times during his training. It was the laugh of a man struggling to diffuse his tension, lighten the atmosphere. Sometimes, a man needs the fortitude and confidence to let the atmosphere remain heavy. “I thought I could come here and add some new tricks to my arsenal with women,” Claude said. “I see it’s not about that.” “You need to learn to fade to black,” Jim said. “People who don’t know you can get swept up by you when you’re ‘on.’ But you cannot be ‘on’ all the time and that appears to be what you’re aiming for. Sometimes you just have to be real.” “But isn’t this what it is all about?” Claude asked. “Gotta be on. Gotta be on. This seems like a formula.” “Isn’t it?”

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Myths and Masters of the Game

“Most of us have a primal craving to be truly known by someone before we die, to build a deeply committed relationship based on honesty, trust, self-disclosure, respect, appreciation, interdependence, and togetherness. But the sexes often define intimacy differently. When women want to draw closer, we face each other, lock eyes in what has been called the anchoring gaze, and proceed to reveal our hopes, our worries, our lives. To women, intimacy is talking face-to-face - a behavior that probably evolved millions of years ago when ancestral females spent their days holding their infants up in front of them, soothing them with words. Men, however, often regard intimacy as working or playing sideby-side. Sure, they might discuss a bad week at work, even troubles in their love lives. But rarely do they share their secret dreams and darkest fears. (When they do, they often use “joke speak”, camouflaging their feelings with humor.) And men almost never look deeply into each other’s eyes. Their approach to intimacy probably harks back to prehistory. Picture ancestral males gathering behind a bush, quietly staring across the grass in hopes of felling a passing buffalo. They faced their enemies but sat next to their friends.”

-- Dr. Helen Fisher, anthropologist and the world’s most

famous researcher of love, in Oprah Magazine.

 

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Loving Love

THE NEXT DAY, THE ROCKSTARS NURTURED EMOTIONAL THROUGHOUT wounds and prepared for their imminent test – helping out instructors in

live workshops to teach paying pickup students in Munich. Even though the Rockstars would only have a side role in the bootcamp under the supervision of the professional instructors, they felt they were not ready. And they weren’t. Their title in the Munich bootcamp would be that of workshop assistants meaning they would be expected to push the students into hitting on women and then help study their performance. But, for that, they needed to intuit the students’ emotional states and the potential receptiveness of the women. They needed to prep the students with lines to use on a given girl and spot weaknesses in  students’ voice tones and body language – all while maintaining conversations with the friends of the girls the students were chatting up. Importantly, they also would be forced to demonstrate for students, approaching random women themselves. And the interactions could not fail. A clumsy pick up attempt by an approach coach could blow the confidence of the students. And the worst working nightmare of a dating instructor is to have students claim their right to a full refund. Jim, through his years of teaching, had never had a student request a refund. It was one of the proudest measures of his success as a dating coach. Alex used a few hours off to buy berries, yogurt and other food for his health diet. Aaron caught up on his internet marketing backlog. Jeff, the financial mentor who was rapidly becoming an honorary Rockstar, was compelled to spend the day approaching women on the street – an act he thought impossible less than two weeks ago. Vishal spoke with his family and Josh meditated on his purpose on Rockstar. Claude sat at an outdoor table with a friend, drinking beer in East London’s agitated Hoxton Square. “I honestly don’t think this is worth it,” Claude said. He weaved his fingers through his David Hasselhoff mane in his now-trademark gesture of doubt. “I’m starting to realize that I’ve known all this stuff all along – it was inside me and I didn’t even realize it. And the sacrifice is just too much. “It’s hitting me right here,” he said, thumping the left side of his chest with a fist. “Can you please, please tell me how to make this fun? When will gaming girls stop being an exhausting, soul-rending process and start being fun?” The air was starting to cool with the London autumn in Hoxton Square, a central plaza in London’s bohemian neighborhood of Shoreditch, where the - 71 -

Myths and Masters of the Game suits and ties of the adjacent financial City district and its sky scrapers give way to jeans and the vintage Victorian single-rise buildings that are home to London’s arts and media scene. Dozens of attractive women walked by as he spoke, looking more relaxed and approachable than the trendy club goers of West London. But, tonight, the beauties went unnoticed by Claude. For almost two weeks – weeks that seemed like months amid the sleeplessness and the repeated conversations with strange women – he had felt himself competing with men half his age. Competing to stay awake. Competing to do push ups in the physical training sessions. Competing to attract the most beautiful women. Back in Canada, he had appeared on countless national television campaign ads. An alpha male with charm and self confidence. He had hosted the PBS television series Regeneration, teaching the art of environmentally sustainable living. He had even been nominated for an Emmy. For Project Rockstar, Claude had given all that up. He had resigned from his position as deputy leader of the Green Party to avoid embarrassing the leader, whom he admired deeply.  He had sold his summer home in Vermont, partly in hopes of financing a new, improved playboy lifestyle. And, in London, he was unknown. In the meantime, the politician was blogging daily about his experiences. And women were commenting.   He had not one, but two, girlfriends back in Canada. And both were aware of his desire for emotional and sexual freedom – his reluctance to commit. But one in particular was pining, wondering if she should leave him. Her doubts were proving contagious. Claude pinched a thin cigar neatly between his thumb and forefinger and sipped a cold pint of beer as he reflected at the wooden table under a heat lamp freshly lit for winter smokers. “Dr. Yen told me that I absolutely must get my hair cut. I like the way I look but I agreed anyways. Not sure why. So he took me to this hair salon of his in Covent Garden and you know what? Not one, not two, but three hairdressers said I should not change a thing. “Basically, I learned to trust myself. I liked my hair the way it was all along. “I hate bars and night clubs but we’re focusing on meeting women in - 72 -

Loving Love

exactly those places. I am getting acting lessons on Project Rockstar but I used to be an actor myself and I know what they’re teaching. I don’t know what I’m doing here anymore.” Foremost in the mind of the 46-year-old, though, was his desire for an emotional connection, a girlfriend or girlfriends. He had flirted with, and been rejected by, dozens and dozens of women so far during Project Rockstar. Asians, black women, blondes, brunettes, Londoners, Americans, Spaniards. Opening lines such as “You are so gorgeous that I just had to come talk to you” were becoming mundane. Sure, the women may be surprised, flattered and giggly. But Claude could now deliver the opening lines reasonably convincingly while half asleep, shuttered eyes barely discerning the woman he was addressing. Two weeks of approach after approach is usually enough – at that intensity - to develop the skill of addressing strange women. He felt he was starting to master the skill. But he was losing the thrill. He could deliver the opening lines. But how about the closing one? In his mind, the closing line was an invariable three words: “I love you.” But those words seemed far away. And tomorrow, Claude knew, the Rockstars would have to fly to Munich to train men who were paying for enthusiasm and knowledge. Without enthusiasm, he felt he could not participate in the Munich training with a clear conscience. His last beer finished, he walked home at midnight. Claude sat in the empty Rockstar Mansion, and wrote. Goodbye Rockstars! To be real, honest and connected no matter what, I am choosing to make my decision public rather than simply slink off, which I intended to do, if only to avoid creating undue drama for the others…. I’m outta here friends. I am thrilled and elated right now because I’m going home; Grateful and at peace because I got to realize for myself that Neil Strauss’s conclusion to the “The Game” was bang-on: “The only way to win the game – is to leave it”. I realize now, having sat in on one presentation after another, that I have grossly under-estimated my life experience, my abilities, my frame…. Everything. Can I improve? Of course I can.

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Myths and Masters of the Game Are there more and hotter women to be had? Always. But as my father always reminded me, how much is enough? At the end of the day, sex is fleeting, superficial and ephemeral; Friendship, complicity, warmth, caring, respect,  honour, integrity, affection…these are the things that carry a man and a relationship through. And I am clear: I DO want a relationship. I love love. I wanted to have options, to never again fall into the co-dependent hell we call “Oneitis”. And now I can see clearly the important distinction between CO-dependent and INTER-dependent. Lean on me and I’ll lean on you – You got my back, I got yours. All my life it’s been ME ME ME. And now I want it to be about US. For the first time in my life I am far more interested in GIVING than I am in receiving. So why did I come? I wanted to face some fears, and having done so, however briefly, I can see that it was, as we all know, “all in my head”. Having faced the Tiger, I now know without a doubt, it was a Paper Tiger. All my life I studiously avoided clubs, bars, “the scene”. Avoid the herd, get away from the maddening crowd, forge your own path and to thy own self be true…. In the last few years I fell into the belief that I was missing something. That maybe everyone else knew something I didn’t know; had something I didn’t have. Maybe the answer was to be found where everyone else was looking. I was wrong. Thoroughly, embarrassingly WRONG. They are all looking for the same thing: something real, authentic, enduring, sustainable. I never again will look at a woman as a “Target” an “HB” – a conquest, an ode to my vanity and need for validation. I can’t wait, as corny as it may sound, to Love, Honour and Cherish. I know what I wanted to get out of this: I wanted to be able to look at the woman I choose and only have eyes for her. But how could I? There are so MANY beautiful women out there and so many willing sexual partners who want to keep it sexual, casual, feeling-less, safe. And then what? More of the same? I ask myself, how can more of what doesn’t work ever be enough?

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Loving Love

What if you’re lucky enough to meet someone with whom you just GEL? What if you find someone who makes your heart sing, whom you can trust, lean on, depend on and laugh with? What if you were to leave the frustrated and maddening throngs and sail out for the open waters and isolated beaches of the Bahamas with the woman you always hoped to meet? What if she felt the same? What if a new chapter of your life opened up and you actually began to BUILD something…. TOGETHER? Wouldn’t that be nice? What would it be to move from targeting HB’s to cherishing and honoring another person? I can’t wait to find out.

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Myths and Masters of the Game

From Jim Stark’s teachings on getting a woman attracted:   1. Teasing This is simply making fun of the girl in a humorous way based off what she says, what she does or her appearance. It is a fun way to create a good vibe between the two of you. Teasing comes a lot from practice. In particular listen very carefully to what the girl is saying or observe her mannerisms and base your teases off that. You can also learn some generic teases. Here are some good ones: - She acts slightly childish (also can be used in any other occasion when you want to make fun of her): “Wow you’re like a little kid, I’m gonna give you some crayons and a little helmet and put you in the corner so you can draw some pictures” or “Isn’t it past your bedtime?” - She says something feisty/challenging: “Where is your off button?” “That’s cool. I mean like . . . sure. I thought you were a nice girl but that’s no way to talk about a guy whose parents just died last night.” [PAUSE] “No, actually that is bullshit but if that was true it could have been awful so stop being naughty” [credit to Braddock and 5.0] 2. Role Plays This is a great technique that can be used to create a “bubble world” between you and the girl where the two of you act out roles to create a fun and playful atmosphere. It has the effect of the making the girl think she has known you longer than is actually the case. On a deeper level, role plays can be manipulated to create a safe environment for sexual escalation. It also allows you to become more sexual with the girl because it is just “play-acting”.

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Here are some examples: - Rich wife: “I’m looking for a sugar mummy. Are you rich? Cool because I want a rich wife so I can drink straight vodka and do coke all day. And of course sex every day. Obviously I want to try in a few new positions once in a while like doggy, reverse cowgirl, inverted razor and flying penguin.” - Any traveling role-play: “Lets go to Vegas, get the penthouse suite and spend all our money” or “We’ll go to Greece and sell hotdogs on the beach” 3. Misinterpretation Misinterpretation is a powerful technique used to ‘frame’ a conversation in a way that is advantageous to you. For example, you misinterpret something she says and make out that she is the sexual predator and is coming on to you. Here are some examples: “You’re cool but I’m trying to snag a rich girl tonight” “Whoa, slow down, turbo, I barely know you” 4. Future Projections Future Projections create a playful “bubble” between you and the girl. You describe to her the adventures the two of you will have together sometime in the future. The sillier the adventure, the better to create attraction. Future Projections are also an opportunity to use imaginative language, creativity and sexual innuendo in a nonthreatening, humorous way. It gets the girl picturing you and her doing something together in the future and to view you as someone she could see again. Here are some examples (You can even string a bunch of these together): You future project/role play that you and the girl are going to Vegas and getting married You future project/role play that you and the girl are opening an ice cream stall in New Zealand and living in huts 5. Cold Reads In cold reading, you tell a girl you just met something about her character and personality which logically only someone who has known her for a while, would know. Cold reads will show her you have strong social intuition. Once you’ve known enough girls, you start getting a feel for cold reading girls (I went through a phase after teaching many boot camps in a row when I started having extremely sharp intuition about girls), but here are some generic examples: Good girl face, bad girl mannerisms: “You know, you’ve got a very good girl face but every now and again, you make these little bad - 77 -

Myths and Masters of the Game girl mannerisms. I like that.” Connection difficulty: “You know you’ve got a good energy but I can sense a part of you is closed. Maybe it’s your heart chakra or something. Do you ever have difficulty connecting with people?” [Girl answers ‘yes’] “Do you ever feel lonely because you have trouble connecting?” Growing up early: “I’m going out on a limb here, but it feels to me like that when you were a kid . . . or even a teenager . . . something happened. Something made you grow up really fast, or become an adult before you were ready.” 6. Storytelling Storytelling is a very effective attraction tool if done well. You want to be telling stories about your life and spike them with subtle hints about the key attractive qualities that you possess. It is also important to convey your passion and purpose in life. Do not bombard the girl with multiple and obvious high value stories as you will come across as “try-hard.” Outwardly, the story should be about X, Y and Z but as you tell it, you drop little hints about things that are attractive about you (e.g. by casually mentioning an ex-girlfriend or that you recently came back from traveling). Most guys tell stories about their house and cars . . . don’t be one of them! 7. Leading Leadership is a huge part of attraction. Examples of leading in the context of pick-up include: Taking the initiative for topics of conversation (by ‘cutting threads’ when necessary) Physically leading her Leading well is about building up compliance momentum. In other words you need to first use leading techniques which require only low compliance from the girl, before you use other techniques which will require a higher compliance level. For example, low compliance would be asking a girl to hold your glass or moving her gently a little to the side saying, ‘These people keep bumping into me’. A good example of medium compliance would be to get her to sit down with you. High compliance includes things like kissing / make out, etc.              - Excerpt from Mr. M’s Comprehensive Guide to Attraction

J

OSH, STILL RECOVERING FROM THE STING OF THE INSTRUCTORS’ comments at the council meeting, was struck – repeatedly - by the height of female guile the night he arrived in Munich. At first arrival, as far as he could see in every direction, thousands of - 78 -

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drunken revelers waved beer mugs the size of a girl’s thigh. The sizzle of sausages enticed an ever growing crowd to join the world’s biggest beer party. Absurdly cheery beer garden songs vibrated through amplifiers, shaking the crowd into swaying camaraderie. And everywhere he looked, the Rockstar saw women. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, in the bust-enhancing traditional Bavarian dirndl costume. The feminine guile that hit Josh that night also came in a dirndl. The apron, the white blouse and the luxurious silk skirt were the unmistakable gift-wrapping of a fair maiden and all the scents, giggles, tastes, powders and luxuries that came with her. The bodice that gripped bosoms offset the frilly innocence with the fleshy curves that glimmered of the treasure within. Inside this particular forest-green dirndl was a tall German blonde whom Josh had introduced himself to a moment earlier. She perked up at his approach and smiled at his American accent. “So. What do you think about German women?” she asked him, baiting.   Josh immediately countered with a line designed to simultaneously display that he wouldn’t kowtow to her and to challenge her to chat openly. “Actually, I think they’re kind of timid,” he answered. “Really?” Josh had trouble judging her smile. Was it coy? Malicious? He ignored a sneaking intuition that the smile meant trouble, and continued with his routine. “Yeah. And that surprised me, coming from a nation that put up such a fight in World War II.” Bam. She punched him in the gut. The jab left him slightly breathless and he gawked, unspeaking for a minute to recover from the surprise. It hurt! The blow could have been a kindergarten variety display of attraction, he thought. Like the playground shove of a little girl pushing a little boy after feeling the first, confusing moments of a crush. None of Josh’s training included a clever line to say to a woman who had just punched him in the stomach. In his second case of terrible judgment that evening, Josh lifted up his shirt. “That wasn’t fair,” Josh said. “I didn’t have my stomach muscles tensed. Take another shot.” Bam BAM bam. The German girl unleashed a left-right-left combination of blows that emptied Josh’s lungs and sent him reeling backwards. - 79 -

Myths and Masters of the Game If there was any doubt left in his mind as to her intentions, it vanished the moment she executed a powerful right hook toward his jaw. She missed by a hair because her blows to his stomach had knocked him back faster than she had anticipated. Josh momentarily dropped the gentlemanly composure – and cocked his fist to counterattack. As Jim and the Rockstars looked on from paces away, he caught himself and lowered his fist. He just couldn’t hit a girl even if she was – as Josh would later find out – an ace amateur boxer. Welcome to Oktoberfest, the world’s biggest beer party.

Josh Hitting Munich The party just commencing was rapidly turning out to be the biggest in the city’s history – tens of thousands of revelers crowded into circus tents from 10 a.m. until midnight for three weeks, drinking beer, beer and more beer. Despite the Bavarian festival’s reputation for drunken cheer, Josh was finding out it was not the easiest place in the world to meet women. On this, his first night in Munich, Josh’s goal of developing Man Game was suffering a serious setback. Jim, whose face was flushed and eyes were glazed from a rare afternoon of beer drinking and laughter, sent Josh to approach more women. It was the first time the Rockstars saw Jim drunk. The former monk trainee, they found, cut loose with playful mischief after several steins of beer. It was also the first time they saw him seduce women without the secondary objective of teaching others how it’s done. Jim, on the outside that night, was - 80 -

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mainly about fun. But, inside, he still kept an edge, knowing that the mid-Oktoberfest bootcamp started the next day and the Rockstars needed all the practice they could get.   The Rockstars and the other instructors eyed the students as they walked in to the bootcamp seminar room the next morning. One student became immediately obvious to all – the Dutchman Mark Von. He was missing an arm. Some of the other attendants conjectured that Mark would have more trouble than the others meeting women this weekend. Surely such a noticeable handicap would set him back. Almost comically, Mark didn’t seem to notice what was evident to all others. He sat down at the table with the rest of the paying students, opened a notepad and clicked a pen with his left hand. Mark’s life was about to change dramatically. This was the start of a Love Systems bootcamp – among the most expensive training in seduction on the planet. During these live weekends, Jim was “on,” more than at any other time in his life. He would refuse to answer his phone. He would not answer e-mails. He ignored text messages. For 72 hours, Jim’s life became an immersion into the art of pick up instruction. For the first five hours, Jim spoke, laying out cutting-edge seduction theories and strategies to prepare the men for their first night out approaching women – “in the field” as the Community called it. He set out the “attraction triggers,” or the eight points that, over the years, devoted pickup artists defined with academic precision as the qualities most likely to peak a woman’s interest. Some of the qualities are obvious and hard to fake while others can more easily be acquired or emulated. The list was a prominent feature of Magic Bullets, the text book for Love Systems instructors such as Jim. Looks and Health – A man who’s generally in good health and therefore more likely to produce healthy offspring and be able to support a woman. Social Intelligence – The ability to lead an interesting conversation, mingle effectively with others and respond to verbal cues. - 81 -

Myths and Masters of the Game Humor – Women often rate a sense of humor as one of the most attractive qualities in a man, generating good emotions in all those around.  Far from standup comedy and knock-knock jokes, a sense of humor is displayed in playfulness, teasing and, in moderate measure, an ability to laugh at one’s own foibles. Status – If you are the owner of a club, a well-known actor or even the leader of your social circle, you display status automatically and attract women easier. Status can also be faked to some degree with confident body language and the help of friends. If a friend, in front of a woman, thanks you for landing him an important job, or scoring invites to some exclusive party, it can raise your status in her eyes. Wealth – This attribute is best displayed subtly, through well-maintained clothing or discrete stories of luxury. It is worst displayed in flashy spending sprees, showering women with champagne and expensive gifts, which can come across as attention-seeking. Confidence – Standing straight, speaking slowly but loudly, pausing occasionally during chats while the other waits, starting conversations with strangers without hesitation, fluid movement and a lack of fidgeting communicate confidence. While students can work on emulating these traits, confidence is the quality that boot camp students most noticeably enhance over a grueling weekend of approaching and trying to seduce beautiful women.  A student’s voice may crack and he may avoid eye contact when approaching a strange woman for the first time in his life. But he often automatically corrects these habits after the first time that he receives a warm reception. Fear recedes, at least temporarily. Pre-selection – When a man is being hit on by attractive women, other women take note. A man who walks into a club surrounded by beautiful women will automatically draw attention – and the curiosity of other women. Preselection, or the fact that other woman find a certain man attractive, can also be implied with stories. The students can, for example, subtly relate a tale about an ex-girlfriend who use to model in Milan. Challenging – “All the good men are either married or gay.” That lament of single women worldwide illustrates the allure of a challenge. Unavailable men peak a woman’s interest more than a man who is throwing himself at her. Jim then told the students to analyze their own traits and advantages to best attract women. A 40-year-old man, for example, can seduce a hot 20-yearold woman. But he couldn’t do it by dressing in the baggy jeans and hip hop attire of her 20-year-old friends, high-fiving all around, flexing his muscles and talking - 82 -

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about Lady Gaga. He could do it through confidence, status, demonstrations of career success and what Jim called “intrigue game” – a display of intelligence and learning that 20-year-olds can’t emulate. Also, the 20-year-old probably can’t display wealth with a $20,000 wrist watch, nor status through talk of career achievements. But he could talk of medschool plans and use his youth to display fun and excitement. Jim covered the basic signs that a woman is growing attracted. She plays with her hair, asks the guy for his name or other personal details, laughs, fills in the pauses between your conversation, or mentions your “girlfriend,” whether you have one or not. Jim taught them how to best express interest in a woman. It’s most effective, Jim said, after she has had to earn it. If she has displayed wit, charm, intelligence, enthusiasm for life, or other qualities, the students should state interest in that. Even in the direct approach increasingly favored by the Rockstars – telling a woman flat out that she is gorgeous – the principle prevails. The seducer’s attitude, or words, after the initial statement should indicate he’s looking for something deeper than physical beauty. The students were then taught various ways to start a conversation with a woman, or “openers,” and practiced delivering them in class while the instructors broke down their tonality Jim covered the basic signs that a woman is growing and body language. attracted. She plays with her hair, asks the guy for   By 10 p.m., his name or other personal details, laughs, fills in the students, the the pauses between your conversation, or mentions instructors and the your “girlfriend,” whether you have one or not. Rockstars were in Munich’s Pacha night club. Each student had memorized the lines they would use to meet women for the night. Most would start with opinion openers such as “Hey, what do you think of mustaches?”  in order to capture a girl’s attention. Then, after this warm up, they would be pushed to sample more direct openers such as “Hi. I don’t think we’ve met yet. My name is X.” Finally, the bolder students would be told to open completely direct – “You are the most gorgeous girl in this bar and I just had to come talk to you.” Pacha club was a subsidiary of the famous Pacha in Ibiza, the 24-hour party island of Spain. And it looked the part. Mauve, purple, blue, golden, yellow lights highlighted the chic patio, the multiple bars, and, most importantly, the clients who were starting to arrive. - 83 -

Myths and Masters of the Game To most of the students, and even to most of the Rockstars, Pacha was yet another night club that reminded them of frustrations with women in their teen years. It was a place, above all, for cool people. In the students’ minds, the male models, the minor celebrities and the millionaires were the only men who strode confidently in this arena. As they entered to the throbbing music, the exotically named cocktails and the leggy shooter girls, most felt a sudden intimidation. The five hours of lectures may have armed them with opening lines and conversational gambits, but it also heightened the butterflies of anticipation they felt about going out, and their expectations of themselves. Jim stood at the bar in the center of the main hall of the club, watching as the Rockstars and the instructors paired off with the students and started encouraging them to approach women. Beside Jim stood Mark, a leather jacket partially obscuring the fact that he was missing his right arm. He lost it when he was five, when he was hit by a train. The jacket had been his crutch for years – since his separation at the age of 22 after a five-year relationship. The split left him near suicidal, shattered his already bruised self-confidence, and threw him unprepared on to the dating scene. At the age of 27, the boyish-faced Dutchman had stumbled on the Love Systems web site and, after months of doubt and hesitation, signed up for a boot camp with Jim. In his first minutes at Pacha, Mark’s attention was captured by a petite blonde. She was a diminutive, blue-eyed girlie girl, wearing the sexy Bavarian dirndl. Mark knew he should approach her – he had paid dearly for this weekend after all and had better take full advantage. And he was standing right beside Jim. He would never get a better opportunity to learn. But, even after the fivehour lectures and the rehearsals of his chosen opinion opener, his mind went blank with fear. The girl was surrounded by three beautiful girlfriends, also all in dirndls. And three guys were with them. Also, to even approach her, Mark had to walk across four or five meters of empty floor. The club was only now starting to fill so his walk across the room would be conspicuous, floodlit by the gyrating lamps that gave the club an intimate hue. Mark envisioned the tense walk over to her, the looks of curiosity from her and her friends, the derisive laughter as he asked them for a quick female opinion on something. They could tell him to get lost or maybe make fun of his missing arm. The guy friends could physically shove him away or confront him - 84 -

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with threats and insults. And then there would be the walk back to his friends the walk of shame after a humiliating, very public rejection. The sense of failure could very well persuade him to walk right out of the club, forego his bootcamp fee and never come back.   Jim, after years of training hesitant men, had learned to spot all the signs. He had learned when to offer words of encouragement, criticism or advice. And he had learned when to take action himself with a demonstration. Now was one of those moments. Mark watched with trepidation as Jim strode over the empty space toward the petite blonde. Then he noticed something odd about the way Jim approached – he was approaching the group with one arm hidden under his jacket, like Mark. Jim walked straight up to the blonde and spoke. Mark didn’t hear Jim’s first words but their effect was magical. In fact, they were life changing. Within seconds, the blonde was fully engaged, smiling, and chatting with Jim. Jim spoke briefly with several of her friends and it soon looked to any outsider that he was a member, perhaps a leader, of that social group. Within minutes, Jim and the blonde had taken a step or two away from the group. He was in “semi-isolation” as the Community would say. He had lessened the immediate social pressures she could have felt from her peer group. The blonde was twirling her hair with a finger, occasionally giggling, and cocking her head as she listened to Jim. Then their conversation slowed and they took a step closer together. Mark watched as the blonde he had been gawking at looked at Jim with the unmistakable “triangular gaze” - the longing look towards the eyes and then the lips that indicated she was ready to kiss. Jim, aware that his time was in great demand on this boot camp, saw the opportunity coming but dodged it. Instead, Mark watched Jim take out his phone, to the girl’s obvious disappointment, and take down her number. He then excused himself and walked back to the bar. The empty space that separated Mark from the girl and her group looked like fertile ground of opportunity as Jim walked across it. As Mark later told a friend, those few minutes changed his life. Sure, men approach women all the time in clubs. But it’s usually a clumsy, drunken, awkward attempt that ends in rejection for the guy and inconvenience for the girl. Or it’s a long, boring conversation as the guy asks “where are you from?” and “do you come here often?” - again resulting in rejection for the guy. - 85 -

Myths and Masters of the Game Most men are also reluctant to even think about crossing a room in front of all their peers to approach a hot woman surrounded by her friends. Few men can even do that when the woman is giving him eye contact and abundant signals of interest. Jim did it without having had so much as a glance from her. And very few guys could entice a kiss so easily, assuredly and quickly under those difficult circumstances. As Jim reached the bar, Mark gaped at him – as speechless as he was moments earlier when contemplating approaching the blonde girl. Jim shifted slightly to the other side of the bar – then did it again. Mark watched as Jim approached two attractive American girls, also dressed in the sexy Bavarian dirndl. Again, within seconds, they seemed captivated. Mark watched, still too surprised and nervous to come to Jim’s side. Vercetti saw Then he noticed the situation from a distance and moved in, something odd about the helping distract the friend of the girl Jim was speaking to. way Jim approached – Mark stepped closer and closer, he was approaching seeking to listen to the conversation. The first words he could discern came the group with one arm from Jim, who was now in semi-isolation hidden under his jacket, with one of the Americans while Vercetti like Mark. occupied the other. Mark will never forget the words, uttered only a few minutes after the conversation started “You had better get away from me because I am going to kiss you in a few seconds,” Jim had said. Instead of running away, she laughed – and stepped closer. And Jim kissed her. Mark, feeling conspicuous, returned to the side of the bar and waited a few minutes until Jim excused himself from the girl and returned. Mark let loose with a flurry of queries. As he would say later, he “ripped Jim apart with questions, trying to dissect him and discover whatever it was that he knew.” Mark decided he would make this art his life’s mission over the next several minutes, hours, weeks and months. Within a week of implementing the teachings, he was dating a Playboy model and, six months later, the one-armed Dutchman would be well on his way to becoming a professional dating instructor himself. - 86 -

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  For the paying students, the Rockstars and the instructors, work on the second day of the Munich bootcamp started early in the afternoon with a debriefing of the previous night at Pacha club. Jim and the instructors broke down the failures and successes of the students at Pacha and then launched into another five hours of lessons, lectures and demonstrations. Throughout the weekend of Oktoberfest parties and late nights at clubs, the Rockstars, plus Jeff the financial mentor, worked as workshop assistants. That is, they helped ensure the paying students were constantly being pushed into conversations with women, had their questions answered, and were regularly critiqued. It was also a learning opportunity for all – most of them had never seen a boot camp in full swing. By the end of their third night in Munich, the Rockstars were exhausted. They felt they were learning rapidly, but had no chance to put theory to practice for themselves. Whenever they were speaking to women, they were doing it to demonstrate technique for a student. Past 2 a.m. in Munich’s 089 dance club, many of the partiers were starting to disperse, weary after a day that, for most, began in the afternoon in the beer tents of Oktoberfest and ended with frenzied dancing and more drinking.

Aaron was also growing weary – from the long hours for the first two weeks of Rockstar and, significantly, from a feeling he wasn’t making the progress that he sought. He had mulled over the words of the instructors from the meeting above The Hope pub back in London and decided that lack of sexual intent was an issue he would have to overcome. In many of his interactions with women, he realized, his technique was smooth. He could perform takeaways nearly flawlessly, he could approach random beautiful women virtually without any anxiety. He could attract women, often with ease and speed. But something was happening in encounter after encounter – he wasn’t pulling the trigger. He knew and read the signs that she was ready for a kiss, or wanted him to ask for her number. But, even on seeing those signs, he wouldn’t go for it. In many cases, students of seduction fail to pull the trigger for fear of messing up the seduction. When they see things going well, they receive an ego boost and want to leave to keep the positive feeling intact. Going for a kiss and being rejected could ruin that. For students with this problem, it was like repeatedly playing a game of chess and stopping when they see an opportunity for check mate. In the Community, it is called “ejecting early from a set” – or - 87 -

Myths and Masters of the Game “premature ejectulation.” Guys sometimes abandon the seduction moments before achieving their goals. But Aaron’s issue was not one of the ego boost or preserving positive feelings. His issue, he decided, is that he just had no interest in taking things further. While other Rockstars were garnering dozens of phone numbers, make he t of outs, one-night stands and even girlfriends, nds ands o c se ’s h st Aaron had little concrete to show. n 15 aron r wai eld i h t A e i h , h W ting Perhaps the weariness had changed his y 5 nd ntl n2 mee e arou and ge Withi the outlook in the moments after that Saturday r we her h arm.   tinvg, e d e t m d an righ night bootcamp session ended. It wasn’t a of his onds locke sense of competition with other students sec were ace, e r h o tw n emb ut t b. that motivated him. Nor was it a sense of o in a tting e clu h pent-up sexual frustration, nor the joy of shu of t t s e r playing the game. Perhaps it was a boost from having successfully approach-coached his first boot camp and watched the paying students overcome approach anxiety and see a whole world of possibilities opened up before them. But, when he spotted four attractive girls, all wearing their sexy maiden dirndls, walk into a side room of the club, all doubt and uncertainty vanished. He headed straight for them. It wasn’t the same feeling he had a dozen times earlier in the night when approaching girls for the benefit of students’ eyes. This time, he approached with the intent he had felt so lacking throughout the first weeks on Rockstar. Aaron grabbed the hand of the last girl – a 20-year-old blonde with an air of fun and naiveté – as she entered the room. He spun her around in an aggressive dance move, looked her body up and down, and said “You are adorable in that dirndl.” He smiled, moved his face within a few inches of hers – and she stopped and beamed in a return smile. Aaron stared into her soft blue eyes, and told her she was crazy. Within 15 seconds of the meeting, Aaron’s hands were around her waist and her hand gently held his right arm.  He was unfaltering. Aaron’s half-smile, the focused eyes and the slightly cocked head intensely communicated a feeling he wasn’t even sure he had. They communicated desire - intent. With the back of his hand, he brushed a lock of hair from her face. And kissed her. - 88 -

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Within 25 seconds of meeting, the two were locked in an embrace, shutting out the rest of the club. Jim and the Rockstars watched from several paces away. Jim saw that the girls’ three friends had paused, unsure of what to do. It’s a dangerous moment in a seduction. In most similar cases, the friends will pull the girl away, giving time for her thoughts to overcome her emotions.

From left: Vishal, Josh (mostly hidden), Micha, and Aaron (kissing) and the four girls in 089 dance club.

Jim motioned to Josh, Vishal and Micha to go talk to the three friends. They knew their job and swiftly divided the girls and distracted them with conversation. Within minutes, the four Rockstars had the four girls at the bar, each absorbed in flirting and conversation. The eight had now split into four couples in the throes of seduction. It was the first sign that the Rockstar Navy Seal Team may be gelling.

The Rockstars had performed their duty and the lives and outlooks of the bootcamp students had changed. For the instructors, the period after a successful but tiring bootcamp is the greatest high – surge of euphoria and optimism for the future induced by the revelations and epiphanies of so many - 89 -

Myths and Masters of the Game other men. But the Rockstars were growing increasingly exhausted. While several of the Rockstars flew straight to Stockholm for the next leg of their international training, Aaron and Vishal took a flight back to London in order to transfer to the Scandinavian city because they couldn’t get direct flights in time. In London’s Heathrow airport, Vishal pointed out a young woman to Aaron. She was smoking hot – the glamour of a Cindy Crawford supermodel, chic style, and gathering attention as she wheeled her designer hand luggage through customs. She was a perfect 10, the kind of woman that can’t help but ooze sex appeal. Aaron was ready to approach her. He had suffered enough rejections by now, with some significant successes, that he was no longer afraid. Then Vishal said it: “She’s an actress. That’s Rachel Bilson.” The Hollywood star had been named the sixth hottest woman in the world by Maxim magazine. Aaron felt a jolt of nerves immediately. Had he not known who she was, he would have approached her, simply telling her she was gorgeous and then launching an attempt to attract her. But he now knew who she was. And he walked away. Well, the Rockstars still had a ways to go.

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The Soul Gaze

“When I first started going out to meet women I might have spoken to her for twenty minutes and would hardly be remembered when I followed up with her. On the other hand, there are now beautiful women I have dated after having an initial interaction with that was under a minute. Despite the brief interaction, these women remembered exactly who I was when I followed up with them, and associated positive feelings with me. LET YOUR PASSIONS SHINE THROUGH. If you’re not living an interesting life, then it won’t matter how you present yourself to women over the long run. No matter what clothes you wear, how much money you have, or what car you drive, women will not want to spend time with you. The best way to become an interesting person is to find your passion in life by living out your dreams. If you need inspiration, watch Randy Pausch’s “Last Lecture” on YouTube, or pick up the book by the same name. Another great book to read if you feel like you haven’t done enough in your life is Yes Man by Danny Wallace. The hero of the story realizes one day how boring his life is and decides to say “Yes” to every opportunity that presents itself to him for a year. It’s an inspirational story and I think we can all learn from it. DO SOMETHING UNEXPECTED. When something unexpected happens to a person, they are more likely to remember it. Most people do not remember their commute to work on any given day. That’s because 90% of the time it’s always the same. However, if there was a big fire at a building you always pass on your commute, - 91 -

Myths and Masters of the Game you can be sure that day’s commute will not be soon forgotten. Approaching a girl on the street to tell her that you really like her style and that you had to come over to find out some more about her is different. First, it’s different since she is not used to strangers approaching her in the street. Second, the approach method is different - instead of hooting and hollering you are being bold and direct, yet in a respectful manner. By becoming more memorable you’re inherently increasing your odds of success when you follow up. BE CONGRUENT. To have credibility with a woman (especially a beautiful woman who is choosy), you must be congruent. Being congruent means that you have behavior that is consistent with the identity you portray. If you display a particular personality trait (for example, integrity), congruence requires that you act in a manner consistent for someone who has that trait. Women are not stupid - they will notice if you act in an inconsistent manner, and it will severely damage your credibility with them. Do not try to be something you are not.”

-- Jeremy Soul

BAR OF THE SCANDIC ANGLAIS, A FIVE-STAR HOTEL IN CENTRAL THE Stockholm, was filling with couples, business travelers, a few wealthy

tourists, and small groups of well-dressed young professional Swedes out for an expensive warm-up drink before hitting clubs. The three dozen tables and sofas were filling up by 9 p.m. but the atmosphere was far from rocking. The music was hardly more inspiring than the musak in the hotel’s elevators. The tables may well have been islands, surrounded by barrier reefs of social politeness. Businessmen chatted with contacts and couples kept to themselves. The clang of a coffee spoon dropped on the tile floor was enough to divert attention. During the hush, three attractive blonde women entered and sat at the bar and ordered neon-colored cocktails. They were dressed to attract, even in the chill that signaled the onset of the Scandinavian autumn. Many of the men in the room perked up slightly. Backs straightened, stomachs were sucked in. Bodies shifted barely perceptibly toward the trio as single men, and even those accompanied by women, stole glances toward the blondes, considering how they might be able to speak to them. Most of the individual signs could really only be spotted by a trained, keen social observer. But it was obvious, at least - 92 -

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subconsciously, that the women now were the center of attention of the room. The women knew it too. Their giggles and Swedish gossip soon became the loudest sounds in the bar, enticing other groups to speak a bit louder too. The woman in the red jacket, Dahlia, tossed her long blonde hair with a shake of her head that all but announced her availability to the educated. The sign, though, was lost on the gazing men – that or they saw the sign and were too afraid to approach. While the women barely looked around the room, they knew they were being noticed, and watched. A quick glance toward the opening door or a look over their shoulders was enough for the attractive women to confirm the attention while seemingly maintaining a cool, nonchalant attitude to the room around them. A dozen pairs of male eyes would flash through their field of vision in half a second, boosting their egos and confidence. With greater confidence came a perceptible increase in the volume of their conversation, more relaxed postures, and greater enjoyment. These traits, though, also had the effect of intimidating the men further. It seems much easier to engage the attention of a humble wallflower quietly sipping her tea than the blonde bombshells capturing a room’s attention. Barry, a 30-something wholesaler from England visiting Stockholm with two male colleagues on business, strolled up from his table to the bar to order his third bottle of beer.  Barry was what the Community would call an AFC – an average frustrated chump. He was a man who would try to meet women by asking them “Do you come here often?” or by sending them a drink from a distant table. In short, he was a man who had never studied the art of meeting women and defaulted into the behavior of millions of other men worldwide. If the circumstances were just right, he could have some success. If the women were particularly lonely that night, or impressed by the money spent on his suit, or found his facial features striking, or thought he could advance their ambitions, he could get their phone number, or more. Like most, he had never considered that there could exist a method to meet women. His sporadic success stemmed from doing what he had always done, or trying to mimic the behavior that resulted in the sporadic success of his friends. He didn’t take risks because he didn’t know how to mitigate them. In his mind, talking to a strange woman at all was a risk. Barry chose a spot at the bar about three steps away from the three women and ordered his beer. As he waited, he looked over at Dahlia as if to say something. Several people in the room were now watching. His mouth opened – then closed. The women were not looking his way although they were certainly aware of his presence and his intention to strike up a conversation. - 93 -

Myths and Masters of the Game Barry grabbed his beer and walked back to his table where his two business-suited colleagues erupted in laughter – at his expense. Within half an hour, the atmosphere again faded as it became clear that, despite the presence of many bachelors clearly seeking female attention, nobody was going to speak to these women. For Dahlia and her friends, the attention had started to become boring. It was in that subdued atmosphere that the pickup artists started to arrive. The Rockstars and their entourage had flown from Munich the night before and started to gather at the Scandic Anglais for a meet and greet. About 10 dating coaches had also flown to Stockholm from around Europe to witness, or help, the Rockstar training and to meet the city’s fabled blondes. Micha and Alex were the first to arrive. Aaron followed shortly after. The autumn chill of Stockholm had given them an opportunity to wear the warmer clothing they had bought a week earlier in a fashion consultation. They were taken to a strange South London warehouse of clothing, smelling of mothballs and dust. But within this warehouse, they found the gems they were looking for – vintage suits, vests and coats made from sturdy wool in the era of craftsmen’s pride. They were made in the days when a man may buy only two or three suits in his 20s and then have them altered occasionally to fit his widening form in his 30s and 40s. They were machine washable. Unlike the modern-day Zegnas and Guccis, the suits would not fall apart during the tumbling, soaping and drying. The shop owner explained that many suits nowadays are made by shredding the wool in old suits and reusing it. One of the vintage suits could make several modern day ones. Alex sported a 1950s dinner jacket that spoke of quality and craftsmanship, although the long tail suggested the attire of a circus lion tamer or master of ceremonies. It was slightly out of place but, if he could develop the confidence to wear it without feeling self-conscious, it could work brilliantly. The jacket, to him, was a symbol of an emerging new identity. Alex, though, showed no brilliance in Stockholm that evening. He took a seat and waited for the other Rockstars and entourage to arrive. He was soon joined by Aaron, Micha and the others. None of them made any immediate move to the three blondes who still held the unofficial center of the room. Tonight, the Rockstars decided, was meant as a meet and greet between pickup artists. Women were secondary. The decision was comfortable, but not productive. Besides the Rockstars, about 10 pickup instructors from half a dozen nations were gathering in Stockholm to meet the fabled Swedish women, help - 94 -

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train the Rockstars and, mainly, to spend time with Jeremy Soul. Jeremy Soul was perhaps the most famous day game dating coach in the world. Throughout major cities worldwide – Los Angeles, New York, Paris, Frankfurt, London, Sydney, Singapore – thousands of young men sought to imitate Jeremy’s opening lines, body language and pacing when stopping attractive women on the street. In most cases, they had read about Jeremy on pickup forums or watched hidden-camera videos of him on YouTube that showed him picking up women in broad daylight. Hundreds more had paid Jeremy for personal training. In the Community, he was idolized. Jeremy was now taking the Rockstars under his wing to teach them his techniques first hand. Dr. Yen and his ass-kicking boots had forced the Rockstars repeatedly into approaching women on the streets of Covent Garden and taught them to deal with their fear of rejection. Dr. Yen’s lessons had also showed them that it really was possible to pick up women right off the street. Dr. Yen had produced the raw material needed to transform a man into a solid day gamer. Jeremy now aimed to take that raw material and add finesse. To do that, he had to start by getting to know the Rockstars personally. He would have to learn the subtleties of their personalities, the intensity of their passions, their strengths and weaknesses and, importantly, the level of their honesty. The people who knew Jeremy well knew that the magic he worked on the streets did not really stem from the opening lines and body language – it came straight from the openness and honesty he displayed with everybody, all the time. His level of pickup artistry shunned the darkness of the night and flashing strobes of the clubs that only revealed glimpses of a man’s personality. His operating theater, the broad daylight, dispelled shadows, discouraged the false courage of alcohol and forced a man to rely on his own personality. After years of teaching, he found the men who progressed most were rewarded by sincerity, genuine curiosity about other people and a warm intelligence as opposed to the calculating variety. That night in the Scandic Anglais bar would help him determine which of the Rockstars could become masters. It was not an auspicious start. When Jeremy arrived at the Scandic Anglais, the Rockstars were standing in a group, barely distinguishable from the group of the well-dressed Englishman Barry who was still casting furtive, if now somewhat resigned, gazes at the three blondes. The blondes themselves seemed to be growing restless with tedium. - 95 -

Myths and Masters of the Game Jeremy walked up to the Rockstars and introduced himself to those he didn’t already know. A white beret and gold pattern silk scarf highlighted the darkness of his skin. His speech was soft yet audible and he always seemed to have the movements of a man who had just received the most relaxing massage of his life. His accent was posh London, unaffected by his Sri Lankan heritage. Nails manicured and a smooth shave. At first sight, a casual observer could mistake him for a slightly eccentric indie movie director, maybe a stand-offish painter or an imaginative writer of obscure, experimental fiction. Until, that is, he spotted the observer. The smile and the handshake immediately communicated warmth and connection. But it was the gaze that had made him famous among connoisseurs of pickup. His brown eyes gently locked onto his interlocutors and held them. He had developed the knack The people who knew Jeremy well knew that the of making his conversation partner feel like the most magic he worked on the streets did not really intriguing person in the stem from the opening lines and body language – room. His gaze boosted it came straight from the openness and honesty he displayed with everybody, all the time. confidence in others, soothed concerns, and enticed them to seek more of that attention. It didn’t come from tricks. It came from a genuine curiosity in others, a desire for connection and a rare positivity. While he spoke with someone, he seemed to focus exclusively on understanding and connection. It was empathy in its purest form. The smoothness seemed to make the controversy surrounding his predilections more acceptable. For Jeremy was into sex. Very into sex. He was an aficionado of threesomes, foursomes and moresomes. He was a man who would happily bring male friends to have shared sex with his female friends. He was renowned by those close to him for setting up “spit roasts” – two guys having sex with a girl at the same time. In an e-mail at the start of Rockstar, to the uneasiness of some, he said his goal was to have a “spit roast” with each of the Rockstars. He would just as happily watch while his girlfriends had sex with other women, or watch him have sex with other women. On the face of it, he could be reviled in the mainstream media. He could be - 96 -

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cast as a horny pervert or a manipulator. But he never was. During his regular appearances on television, radio and in newspapers, the sex part seemed to lose importance. The magic was, after all, about connection. In each case, Jeremy had seemed to forge some kind of lasting connection with all involved. The connection, indeed, was practiced. Jeremy knew, from years of experience, the right time to give a compliment. He knew when to hold back, when to comfort or chastise, when to increase or decrease attention. But the practiced connection was also real. Through the years of study, Jeremy had developed a genuine interest for people, a curiosity that registered sincerely on his face. He would ask the right question at the right time because he wanted to. He would enquire about a person’s health or relations because he had developed a genuine caring. This was the quality that became apparent on first meeting the root of the “Soul Gaze”. Jeremy barely glanced around the bar of the Scandic Anglais as he chatted with the Rockstars. But he had sized them up. And he had already sized up the room – the three blondes, the tables of couples, the local groups. Without looking behind him, Jeremy noticed that Vishal, too, was casting looks at the blondes. “Do you like those blondes?” Jeremy asked. A prerequisite for an effective approach, Jeremy had found over the years, was a genuine interest in the woman. Often, students would try to take advantage of this and, out of fear of approaching in front of their idol, tell him that they really weren’t attracted to the women. But Jeremy knew the signs of male attraction even better than those of female attraction. He knew when the man was lying. He knew Vishal was attracted and Vishal knew he couldn’t lie. “You know, approaching a girl while you are watching is like driving a car race with Michael Schumacher in the passenger seat. I’m kinda nervous.” Jeremy smiled. It was his smile – not the broad smile of suppressed laughter, but the friendly smile of understanding. So Jeremy approached. And Vishal watched. Jeremy’s expertise was forged in day game. But, as long as the music volume was low enough to talk, it could also apply in the bars of the night. Within minutes, Vishal was bantering with one of the three blondes as Jeremy occupied the other two. Sharp sexual talk and teasing was flicking her - 97 -

Myths and Masters of the Game switches. Josh shortly after also sauntered over to the bar and engaged in the chat. Alex, temporarily inspired, started talking to two English women at a nearby table. The instructors and other aspiring pickup artists in the Rockstar entourage started mingling as well. The effect was immediate and tangible. It was as if Jeremy acted as the cue ball to scatter the triangle of balls in a billiards game. The 100 or so bar-goers had no idea 15 pickup artists were in their midst. All they knew is that the bar suddenly Jeremy Soul in became lively. a Swedis h café Within 10 minutes, the businessmen, tourists, locals and most others were mingling, talking to complete strangers. Groups formed and re-formed in a chorus of introductions and chatter. Men joked and women became more open. The ice was broken. Classic pickup banter was occasionally audible above the din. “Careful girl, I’m a heartbreak waiting to happen” competed with “so, what do you do for fun in Stockholm.” “Your boyfriend doesn’t spank you enough” from a man in one corner offset the “do you come here often?” from one not initiated in the Community. But it was all good. The Community has pinpointed a phenomenon that it has termed “buying temperature,” borrowing from sales jargon. In Community terms, “spiking a woman’s buying temperature” refers to her elevated mood at having an interesting, fun, or sexy interaction with a stranger. In that state, she is more likely to engage in conversation with another stranger, having just been shown that it can be exciting. The buying temperature of the whole room had just been spiked. Like an egg-beater, the pickup artists had mixed up the room, given onlookers the confidence to talk to that woman, or man, they had been eying and made the Scandic Anglais one of the most sociable concentrations of strangers in Stockholm that evening.   It’s in these moments that relationships – the basis of life – are formed. - 98 -

The Soul Gaze

As the Rockstars and their entourage prepared to leave for a nearby bar where they would really meet and greet each other, Barry the English businessman was chatting with Dahlia, the blonde he had been eyeing through the evening.   Dahlia was smiling. She leaned in toward him and flicked her hair as she spoke. She was interested - and showing it with all the signs socially acceptable for a woman. The rest was up to Barry.

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Myths and Masters of the Game

“Most women tend to make sexual decisions based more on their emotional state than pure physical attraction. This does not mean that your looks are not important. They absolutely are, and if you are good-looking, some women will have sex with you based on your looks alone. However, while women vary greatly, most of the time you will need to make an emotional impact. One thing we’ve found in our combined tens of thousands of approaches is that there are four emotional triggers that - if you can activate them all tend to make women say yes. These are: - Feeling that a man’s value is equal to or greater than hers. - Feeling that she’s special to him or that she’s earned his attention. - Feeling comfort and connection with him. - Feeling aroused by his touch without awkwardness or embarrassment. In general, your best chance of sleeping with a woman is to trigger these four emotions in her.”

-- Pickup artist Nick Savoy in “Magic Bullets”, the text book for the seduction community   

 

FIRST TIME THE ROCKSTARS WATCHED JEREMY DEMONSTRATE THE A day game approach, it was a revelation. Smooth, sincere, simple, and - 100 -

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devastatingly effective. It eased the concern of many of the Rockstars about a lingering stain of dishonesty in the community. For years, both students and instructors in the Community had memorized routines and stories to approach and seduce women. Tens of thousands of pickup artists worldwide had told stories about a fictional “niece” or “little sister” whose quandary needed female input. Night after night, they wore two colognes, one on each wrist, and opened women by saying they were shopping earlier that day and asking them to help decide which cologne to buy. They told funny stories about jealous ex-girlfriends that didn’t even exist. Virgins related implausible tales of steamy nights with sexy strippers in red Ferraris. The question “did you see that fight outside?” has become a cliché even in a community as young as this one. It’s the start of a routine designed to capture the attention of women. The PUA would then launch into a story about two women fighting outside the club, with one ripping off the other’s blouse.  The fight, of  course, never really happened. The Community that eased the sexual frustrations of tens of thousands worldwide and helped bring men and women together had also launched millions of little lies. Pickup practitioners argued that any man meeting a woman has a sort of routine – stories that he always tells to make himself look good or little jokes that he would always repeat. And they were right. But, in a community that was increasingly teaching the necessity of becoming a better man, the constant, albeit often small, lies were corrosive. The culture of stretching the truth was regularly prompting men to make up stories, tell misleading stories about their wealth, and write internet forum posts with advice on lying more effectively, or on what lies to tell. Jeremy’s approach, while it has a definite structure, shuns rote learning and, of course, lies of any kind. It was a philosophy that was firmly espoused by his fellow Love Systems instructors and, after the initial theory was taught, it would become a cornerstone of Project Rockstar. Man Game requires, first and foremost, honesty.             The blonde carried the jumble of shopping bags with grace as she walked, half-smiling, down the Stureplan central square of Stockholm. Jeremy was standing on a street corner, preparing Josh, Aaron, Alex, Vishal - 101 -

Myths and Masters of the Game and Jeff for the first approaches of the day. He decided to skip the lecture and go straight to the chase. He walked towards her so they would pass each other on the sidewalk. As he did, he tried, and succeeded, to catch a split second of eye contact. As he later explained, that brief second is meant to make sure that she recognized the pickup artist moments later – for that is when he will approach in earnest. Over the years, Jeremy had found that walking past a woman and then turning around seemed more normal, and more effective, than approaching her head on. A head-on approach could make it look like the man is simply trying to sell something, and it can look too aggressive. After the by-pass, Jeremy continued walking for three seconds or so and turned around. He jogged for two seconds to catch up with her. The brisk jog, he said, helps lift his mood and level of excitement. By the time he catches up with the woman, he is smiling with anticipation. He stopped jogging a few stops behind her and then, from nearly beside her, touched her lightly on the elbow. The blonde glanced at him but continued walking. “Excuse me,” Jeremy said, taking another step. “I saw you from over there and I would be kicking myself if I didn’t come over to meet you.” She slowed. “You are absolutely gorgeous. I think it’s something about the elegance – the way you put yourself together today. Maybe the grace in your walk.” She stopped. “Hi. I’m Jeremy.” The woman was already blushing from the compliment as she extended her hand to meet Jeremy’s. “Thank you! Nobody ever says that to me!” “What? That I’m Jeremy?” “No,” she laughed. “What you said first.” His opening statement had been so flattering to her that she wanted to confirm that she actually heard it correctly. The woman was about 20 years old. The hair gathered in a tight pony tail made her seem more severe than her years but the transparent salmon-colored rims of her glasses accentuated a softness, perhaps from the subtle strawberry hue to her hair.  Perhaps a business student with a flare for the fine arts. It was no coincidence that she was exactly Jeremy’s type. The only women he ever approached were his type, unless he felt a need to do a demonstration - 102 -

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for a paying client on a girl that he didn’t find particularly alluring. Many other pickup artists regularly approach women they’re not really attracted to just in the name of practice. Within seconds, she and Jeremy were locked in conversation while the Rockstars milled about 10 meters away, trying to watch without being conspicuous. The early minutes in Jeremy’s approaches generally take on the same format, as early conversations between strangers generally do. But Jeremy had put thought into keeping the conversation interesting for both parties while forging a connection as well. It was a feature of the seminars and live training that constituted the bread and butter of his job. Jeremy’s conversation led him through topics including travel, fashion and music. These were topics that many people, particularly women, feel qualified to comment on. They were also topics that Jeremy knew extremely well. In any of them, he could spark interesting conversation, fill in awkward gaps, and forge a connection with most people, if he so choose. These were some of his “mastery subjects.” But travel was his perhaps his most captivating.  Jeremy, born to Sri Lankan parents, grew up in London as an awkward math geek with cauliflower ears and a terror of attractive women. He was lousy at sports, great at video games and had no social quality that could help him attract a girlfriend. As he progressed as a dating coach and occasionally taught some seminars in Scandinavia, he was thrilled with the beautiful blondes of the region and

Jeremy Soul tutors three Rockstars in a Stockholm café - 103 -

Myths and Masters of the Game decided to move to Stockholm. The lifestyle he had cultivated allowed him to work from virtually anywhere in the world. With two gentle fingers, Jeremy moved the blonde off the sidewalk out of the flow of pedestrian traffic to continue talking. The Rockstars could hear only the occasionally word, carried by the chill Scandinavian breeze. But the sustained handholding and the ever-lengthening eye contact proved his point. In 10 minutes, he had effectively seduced this stunning young woman. He took out his phone to plug in her number and then her friend showed up. From among the potential students, Jeremy chose Vishal to do the next few approaches. It seemed that the 21-year-old businessman’s strength was in his boyish sincerity. Vishal was often open to the point of a flaw, embarrassing himself and occasionally alienating friends with his tendency to always speak his mind. At the same time, therein grew his charm. With Vishal, it seemed, what you saw was what you got. And this became apparent to most within minutes of meeting him. Vishal was the polar opposite of, say, Aaron, whose hyperspeed calculations  often intimidated people and left them feeling that he was communicating as much through inferences as with words – above or beyond their heads. With Vishal, his interlocutors could easily read his thoughts and emotions not only in his words but in the waver of his voice, the moisture levels of his eyes, the steadiness or trembling of his hands. Vishal, though, was probably the Rockstar who was picking up dating theory and complicated technique the slowest. He had progressed immensely from the simple realization that it was impossible to approach and attract random women on streets and in clubs, bars and cafes. But deeper theory such as the Love Systems’ emotional progression model or qualification methods might as well have been written in Greek as far as Vishal was concerned. He was not thinking his way around the seduction community; he was feeling it. His instruction was serving to teach him to better feel his way. Jeremy was curious to see how this style would play on the streets. He had a suspicion that it would do well. But he also wondered how Vishal could cope with logistical problems or with the so-called shit tests. Emotional sincerity can be charming, but it can also be severely undiplomatic. Vishal had already repeatedly drawn criticism from members of the London Seduction Society, the members-only forum of aspiring pickup artists, through the cocky, overt bragging tone of his blogging. Early on, he found he could get a rise out of other aspiring pickup artists by seeming to brag. So he would frequently mention his Prada hoodie, his Dolce - 104 -

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and Gabbana trainers, his expensive wristwatch and reference his own “good looks.” It continued to get a rise, but those who knew him knew that he was just having fun. Vishal, through his teasing and wearing his emotions on his sleeve and speaking his mind, was a polarizing character. Some loved him and some hated him. As Jeremy continued his chat with the blonde in downtown Stockholm, a friend of hers appeared from further down the street, also loaded with shopping bags. They had been out for the day together but the friend had stopped to use a bathroom. Jeremy continued chatting, now with both of them. Vishal, though, realized his opportunity to go present himself. Jeremy, he knew, would welcome the help. It was always more difficult to entertain two women on first meeting them while trying to wrangle a date out of just one of them.   Vishal approached, was introduced as a friend by Jeremy, and started chatting about clothes and shopping. As he had been instructed throughout Rockstar, he never told the women that he worked in the clothing industry and had made millions from it. Instead, he started showing off his designer clothing. On the face of it, he was violating some of the major commandments of basic pickup theory. But his tone was joking, self-deprecating. And the conversation was hooked. “Those labels are all fake,’’ the girl said to Vishal. “You’re wearing pirate goods.” “What the fuck?!” Vishal blurted out. “You’ve gotta be blind.” … and the girl hooked him. Later that night, guards down in his hotel room, the two lie beside each other in bed. They discussed their families, childhood issues, hopes and dreams. They touched and they kissed and reveled in the rapid, unexpected emotional connections. Both grew teary eyed spontaneously in the early morning hours. But they didn’t have sex. The connection with a beautiful stranger in a beautiful strange city, Vishal found, was worth far more than sex.

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Myths and Masters of the Game

 

In 1993, a then-revolutionary study by Dr. Devendra Singh of the University of Texas at Austin set out to determine attractiveness of body shapes. He used line drawings - stick men and women. Then, as any naughty schoolboy would, he added hips, breasts, waists and shoulders of varying size. After asking hundreds of subjects about their preference, he concluded the ideal waist-to-hip ratio for a women was 0.7 - her waist was 70 percent the width of her hips. This is the ratio of Marilyn Monroe, of Naomi Campbell, of Brigitte Bardot once upon a time, even of Twiggy, who was little more than a line drawing herself. For men, the ideal waist-to-hip ratio was 0.9 - Clark Gable, Elvis Presley, Robert Redford and Brad Pitt. It was the da Vinci formula Singh decoded what the old masters knew instinctively when painting their ideal subjects - what had been known subconsciously for thousands of years. Even Picasso, for all his angles and oddity, recognized it. Interview subjects over and over again found themselves drawn to the line drawings that represented those ratios, shunning the other stick figures. In 2007, Louis G. Tassinary at Texas A&M University and Kerri Johnson of New York University, were still unconvinced that line drawings could represent the depth of flesh-and-blood humans. They decided to make the stick people move. They animated the figures, adding a sway to the hips of the feminine curves and a swagger to the marching stick men. In interviews with 700 people over five studies, attraction spiked.  Men were 70 percent more attracted to cartoon girls who sashayed and pranced just so. Women were 50 percent more drawn to stick men who swaggered, keeping - 106 -

Home Study

their arms at a slight distance from their torso and leading with their shoulders. The Betty Boops and Johnny Bravos of the world were redeemed.  

J

IM STOOD IN FRONT OF AARON, PERHAPS A FOOT AWAY. HIS TONE alternated between soft and hard as he chatted. In the soft moments, he would touch Aaron lightly on the arm, the elbow, perhaps the shoulder. Just as Aaron would start to grow uncomfortable with the unexpected twist in the interaction, Jim would pull away, glancing around the room. The upper floor of On Anon provided many distractions for Jim even though, this early, it wasn’t yet half full. All the couples, the other Rockstars and a few instructors all mingled around the bar. Some danced in place with the music. Jim could watch the sexy shot girls, maybe shoot a small glance at the one who caught his attention most. But even as he looked around the room, or even at his watch, his attention was fully focused on the internet marketing whiz in front of him. None of the Rockstars or their entourage noticed the interaction and Aaron didn’t notice what else was happening in the room – Jim was his only focus. For Jim had effectively isolated Aaron. He had taken him to a dark corner of the bar, positioned himself with his back to the bar so he momentarily encompassed Aaron’s whole world. While Jim could look around, Aaron could not - not without being overtly impolite and turning away from Jim. Jim joked with Aaron that he was going to order a warm milk for him and send him to bed. He would chastise Aaron when the marketing whiz fumbled his words. Aaron, he knew, would grow uncomfortable with the sudden loss of attention and would very quickly want it back. All the while, between takeaways, backturns and backsteps, Jim grew inexorably closer with every opening Aaron gave him. His hand now gently caressed Aaron’s upper arm, his shoulder.   Jim leaned in as he flicked a lock of hair back from Aaron’s face and spoke quietly: “You know what I would do to you?” “What would you do to me?” Aaron asked, stifling a giggle. “I would bend you over this table and fuck you so hard that I’d spoil you for any other man.” The sweat nearly started to break out on Aaron’s forehead. - 107 -

Myths and Masters of the Game Jim leaned back, took his hands off Aaron and said: “But there are too many people around so you better get away from me.”   Show over, Aaron cracked into laughter of relief. And so did Jim.   It was a valuable, if somewhat awkward, lesson.   Jim had just allowed Aaron to experience, from the receiving end, the facial expressions, slow deliberate movements, takeaways, teases and sexual insinuations of a master pickup artist. Throughout the training, the Rockstars had been encouraged to practice off field every bit as much as in-field. It was almost as valuable as the practice in clubs and streets. By the fourth week, they had been taught as much theory as they could absorb and they had been rejected, and sometimes accepted, by so many women that some of the basic issues were no longer of concern. They all could approach a woman without outward signs of nervousness. All could sustain a conversation and keep it flowing naturally. They had learned to spot signs of interest from a woman and had developed the confidence to seamlessly follow up on it. They now had to start working on personal weaknesses. The Rockstar mansion, in downtime, became a bizarre theater where men hit on each other, engaged in nonsensical conversations, danced salsa together, judged each others’ fashion, exchanged theories on social dynamics, spoke of sexual prowess or problems and discussed sleeping patterns, diets and meditation or motivation strategies. In off-field training, Aaron was the most intense. This encompassed his every waking moment. Exercise, diet, work – it was all related to his aims on Rockstar.           For the full two months, he scrutinized the actions and atmosphere around him: each raised eyebrow, cracked voice, flushed cheek, word of warning or gaze of longing. He had written them in his journal or tape-recorded them for later mental input - a habit of a lifetime. Through late nights and early mornings, he would consider how he could have improved interactions. His mornings consisted of yoga, yogurt and a dress rehearsal of the day ahead, designed to maximize productivity and learning. His nights would end, literally, in bullet points as he sought through writing to identify his “sticking points” or problem areas, such as in this post:

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Home Study

STICKING POINTS Outer Game • Verbal Game – attraction. Teasing and Sexual talk neural net training. Practice attraction via scenarios. Practice asshole game via scenarios and in-field. • Verbal Game – vibing, qualification. Practice via scenarios. • Verbal Game – sexual hoops (including SOIs). Go over Mr. M’s talk, list them out, use them in both off-field and in-field. • Logistical Escalation. • Physical Escalation. • Takeaways. I’m getting better at this. Practice in-field. • Delivery. Practice in-field. Inner Game • Logistical Escalation. • Identity & Beliefs. Understanding that others are fucked up and that they all have some amazing part of their life, and something to contribute to mine. Adopting the belief of “I may fuck this up, but let’s joust.” Realizing that you only need to score 30/100 to pick up. No need to aim for 92/100. Realizing that acceptance is contextual, and that I don’t really need to care about others’ acceptance of me, and that it’s more about my acceptance of them for who they are. Killing the belief of “if people don’t accept me, fuck them.” • Self-image. Frustration as something I have overcome and will continue to push through. Realizing that there’s nothing wrong with me, and that my greatest strengths are also my greatest weaknesses. More work on warmth and emotional connection. Seeing self as having fun when going out, and being someone who enhances the social situation. Creating the social instigator part in myself. The Alex Lesson. • Behavior. Learning to present different parts of me to different people. Learning to wield emotions via logic. Listening to the weird shit others say and trying it, without judgment. • Emotional Management. Letting loose on emotional block points. Reveling in darkness and dominance, and the ability to play with my own and others’ minds. Ingrain idea that opening up emotionally will give me an enhanced ability to access the social sphere. • Capabilities. Ability to see primal parts in others. Ability to recognize that in some areas of my life I need others to help me grow. • Intent. Finding it fucking hard to fake this. But I will keep pushing. - 109 -

Myths and Masters of the Game Aaron had also grown fascinated by the style of Micha – “the Swedish Viking.” Aaron still felt his main problem was a lack of “intent,” or overt sexual desire, in his interactions with beautiful women. Sexual intent was a quality that defined Micha. Over and over, Aaron would grill Micha in an attempt to model certain aspects of his interactions – the almost threatening sexuality that Micha exuded when talking to women, the edgy sense of near-urgency about sex - the lust. And the ability to develop a sudden fascination for a woman and then drop it at a moment’s notice, only to regain it minutes later – the serious push-pull. As for Josh, a lot of the learning and studying he did “off-field” was not really off field. Because the field for him included his socialization with the other Rockstars. His whole life, Josh felt he never fit in with any group and was always worried about what to say and what others might think of him. Now, he was among a group of men who intensively studied social dynamics. The hidden sleights, faux pas, gossip and festering feelings under the surface of any social group were in plain view in Rockstar. When one Rockstar would say or do something that seemed off-kilter, insincere or selfish, he would immediately recognize it. Early on in the program, Josh had flashed photos of his actress girlfriend back in New York by the pool. Even before he had finished showing them, he sensed that the act was “try hard.” He was showing that he cared a little too much what others thought of him. It was a weakness.   He paused and put the photos away. At the same time, the others sensed the awkwardness – and he knew it. Moments such as those were repeated occasionally during Rockstar and Josh mulled, debated with a friend and slowly started working out what, exactly, he would have to do to truly gain more respect from others. To gain more respect from others, he realized, he had to gain more respect for himself. And that could come from Man Game – confidence and self-actualization. He started studying David Deida’s The Way of The Superior Man and other texts designed to help men find their identity in an increasingly complicated world where women often had as much or more career success, made more money, and had more confidence that many men.   It was the issue that had plagued him since his early teens.

At 4 a.m., when most of the Rockstars were asleep or lingering in clubs, - 110 -

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Alex could often be found in front of his computer at the chipped and stained dining room table, along with assorted dongles, sandwich wrappers, plastic trays of blueberries, health magazines and notepads left there by the other Rockstars. He would often have a book balanced on his head to improve his posture and an array of English raspberries, strawberries and blueberries in front of him to snack on to maintain his lean physique. Many of the lessons were starting to hit home with Alex. But he still felt he was making too little progress. He needed a personal breakthrough and he thought it would flow more easily from his late-night meditations than from the neon-lit noise of club after club. Alex was the Rockstar most likely to forego a night out in exchange for private time at home. Alex wrote in private, only for himself, hammering his thoughts out on his keyboard: “So basically, if the character and identity that defines you, here and now, is attractive to women, then you carry your own value all the time,” he wrote. “Being yourself becomes your most important asset, an asset that can’t be taken away from you. Then forging an attractive identity is a priority and I’m going to focus on this right now.” Quietly, he had started daydreaming about how his personal character could develop. Could he be the creative stylish man who would approach an attractive woman seated in a terrace of Rome and make her fall in love with him on the same afternoon? The young entrepreneur partying in the most extravagant cities of the world with celebrities? The sexual magnet whom women wanted for nothing more than multiple orgasms? He could feel they were all within his reach, but he had trouble putting his face on these imaginary characters. Meanwhile, instructors were growing uneasy about Alex’s lack of apparent progress and his frequent absence from the all-important in-field sessions. What was wrong with him? 

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Love Systems instructor Cajun on his speciality, body language and sexual communication: “I realized a long time ago that the secret to attraction isn’t in what you say, it’s in how you carry yourself; your presence, something controlled almost entirely by your body language. I knew that if I was to master the art of attraction, I would need to master the art of body language.   I began sifting through literally hundreds of videos documenting performances of the most prolific and sexually charged rock icons in music history. I used my “sixth sense” to meticulously analyze every thing they did. I studied how they walked, how they danced, their facial expressions, even how they stood still! I started to notice a pattern. There were three qualities that nearly every sex symbol in the history of rock n roll all had in common, and it had nothing to do with their music or looks. The first quality I recognized was immediate; sexual presence. Most of the musicians elicited this through their dancing, which wasn’t that useful since I obviously couldn’t be dancing all the time. The absolute best example of sexual presence I could find was Jim Morrison simply because he elicited tremendous sexual presence by doing very little. I hadn’t watched any videos of him performing since I was a teenager and seeing it again with my “sixth sense” absolutely blew my mind. He moved slowly, purposefully, as if to poeticize his presence. Everything seemed so calculated. After referencing what he did with a number of

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other sexual icons, I quickly made a list: Advanced Body Language - Sexual Presence 1. Less is more. - Move only when you need to, and react with delay. - Slow down your movements, as if moving underwater. - Movement should be bold, sporadic and purposeful. 2. Poeticize your presence. - Absolutely believe that you are a spectacle to be witnessed. - Draw attention to your every move with strong eye contact, and delayed responses. - Always appear physically more comfortable than anyone else in the group. Lean back when standing, angle back and drape your arms when sitting. - Your demeanor should be carefree, content; you do not want or need anything. 3. Emphasize your sexuality - Relax your eyes. Look at Jim Morrison, Phil Lynott or even Marilyn Monroe, their eyes all carry the same look, model it. - Slightly Purse your lips, as if you’re about to kiss them. - Slightly tilt your head up and look down when speaking. - Slowly study women’s faces during interaction, glance at lips periodically. - Keep a look of mild arousal on your face. I began modeling my body language based on this list and the results were epic. This is the reason I stopped using routines, I no longer needed them. Everything they communicated I could now communicate with my body.”

 

ARE ABSOLUTELY FUCKING GORGEOUS! GET OVER HERE!” Y OU Micha’s energy carried above the thumping bass and rhythmic pumping

of the music at Tryst club in Las Vegas as he shouted at the dancing Indian girl. Micha was higher than he had been since his days of alcohol and drug abuse in Scandinavia. But this time, it was a heady cocktail of hormones, dirty talk, sleep-deprivation, miles of flashing neon, the adventures of an unknown continent and repeated booster shots of successful hookups straight to the ego.    Vishal had repeatedly called Micha the Viking ravisher. In Vegas, the moniker was more apt than ever. His sex drive, barely controlled at the best of times, was truly unleashed.   Las Vegas, 8:17 A.M.   Under these conditions, bacon and eggs at the Las Vegas Hard Rock Hotel - 113 -

Myths and Masters of the Game was an incongruent meal in Sin City – somewhere between a breakfast and a late night snack. Equally incongruent at 8 a.m. was the 30-something brunette Micha spotted coming out of the elevator. Both she and her female friend wore black and white club dresses and full makeup. But somehow it all seemed to fit. The abnormal conditions gelled with a growing feeling of invincibility that had been seeded in Micha over the last several weeks of training and self-analysis. Micha had managed five hours of sleep in the past three days and the bleary-eyed feel reminded him of his drugaddled days in Scandinavia. The self-discovery, too, reminded him of his time in rehab. Through the fog of sleeplessness, he felt he was undergoing a massive change. The “cuddly giant” image that had characterized him in the first weeks of Rockstar had given way to what Vishal called the “Viking pillager.” “Fucking gorgeous!” Micha repeated to the brunette in the club dress. She was perhaps 15 paces away and most of the patrons of the breakfast buffet could hear him. But Micha Micha in Vegas was beyond caring. He was thousands of miles from home and the only people in Vegas who knew him were also dedicated to the art of chasing women. Micha stood up, strode over to her, held her hand, and said the line a third time, a bit softer, more suggestively. The confidence he had raised from approaching hundreds of women on the streets of London, Munich and Stockholm and in bars, book stores, clubs and pubs had already nourished his body language. Even before Vegas, he was no longer the slightly timid young man who spoke apologetically about his sordid past and his lust for women. Now, in Vegas, he was over the top. But, in Vegas, it worked. “Come with me,” Micha said to the woman after exchanging names. He held her hand and pulled her back to the elevator. She glanced questioningly at her friend. “Do whatever you like,” the friend said with a smile and a shrug. During the ascent to the seventh floor, Micha only half heard her chatter. She was from Oregon, worked at some white collar job, and was in Vegas with her friend for a weekend of partying. - 114 -

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“I’m Swedish,” was the only self-description Micha gave.   By the time Micha fished his door key out of his pocket, the intention was crystal clear. The woman, whose name Micha had already forgotten, dropped any pretence of “getting to know each other.” She was calm, almost blasé. Micha lifted up her dress and rubbed between her legs as he inserted the key in the slot. Seconds later, they were inside the room - and he was inside her.   He hadn’t taken off her clothes, instead pulling down her panties and lifting her skirt. During the 10 minutes of sex, Micha started to have doubts. He was for the first time feeling that he was irresistible to women. But didn’t that blessing also come with responsibilities? Suppose she regrets it later? Micha came and forced a few minutes of chatting. As he watched her pulling up her panties, Micha felt the pangs of remorse. Luckily, he thought, she seemed not to care. She didn’t seem to feel abused or used. As a matter of fact, she didn’t seem to feel anything at all. No connection, no remorse, no satisfaction. “Well,” she said. “Nice meeting you.” With that, she left. Two strangers had sex less than 30 minutes after first sight. Micha waited in his room so as not to take the elevator ride back down with her. He meant to take a 30-second pause to think about what just happened. But it stretched into minutes as he sat on his ruffled bed. The girl had a face made for smiling - dimples that kind of made you want to pinch her cheeks. Micha grasped at that hint of individuality. Maybe she was married with children, a loving family waiting for her back in Portland as she was on a cheeky “weekend with the girls.” Maybe she had never had sex with a total stranger and wanted to see what it was like. Certainly, she had parents who loved her, favorite songs, partook in workplace gossip. With a few hours of chat, he might have discovered some of her world. He may have learned interesting details of her profession, whatever it was. He may have heard of past failed relationships, weekends strolling the beaches and velvety forests of the Pacific Northwest. He may have learned from her weaknesses and strengths. He may have discovered a human being. Now, he sat alone on his well-used bed and pondered the meaning of - 115 -

Myths and Masters of the Game pickup. The lesson started three days ago. Jim had brought the Rockstars to Vegas to attend the Super Conference, a days-long series of seminars and training for hundreds of guys hosted by Love Systems every October in Las Vegas. The Super Conference – the once-a-year holy pilgrimage of wannabe and professional pick up artists internationally and the Mecca of “game theory.” Dating coaches, pick up artists and everyone interested or tangential to this goal comes along to showcase their theories in the day and their skills at night. As Jim said, “this was the place to learn from and see the best of the best.” The Rockstars were called upon to give a speech about their experiences during the training so far. They were also there to meet Savoy, the Love Systems president who would also have the final word as to whether any of the Rockstars would be invited to become professional dating instructors.

Celebrations The first day, after lectures on attraction that were now becoming routine for Micha and the other Rockstars, they headed out to Tryst club. There, Micha coined the blunt pickup line that he would use again and again throughout the four-day stay. “Fuck me. I’m Swedish.” It was a nonsense line with the subtlety of a machine gun. High risk of rejection but with a potentially quick reward. And, often enough, it worked. After weeks of approaching women in often awkward situations on European cities – strolling with their father, on their way to work, chatting - 116 -

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on a cell phone, in large groups of friends at a bar – Micha had lost his fear of rejection. At the beginning of Project Rockstar, he had visibly fumbled for conversation topics, misread the subtle and even some of the obvious cues from women and relied too much on his height to display dominance – a sometimes effective but often clumsy method. Now, he had learned the nuances of body language, voice projection, fashion and sexual tension. He knew the secrets to keep a conversation going when it threatened to lull. He learned how, at 6’ 4”, to appear non-threatening to a woman in a dark alley. His smile, previously marred by a jagged chip in his front tooth, was fixed with dental surgery. In Vegas, a town known for parties, gambling, and cheap sex, his newfound talent was almost overkill. In Tryst, Micha delivered his “fuck me” line within minutes of arrival. His target was a slim, dark-skinned Indian woman with a group of female friends. “Get over here,” he said. She came. Micha gently took both her hands in his, told her his name. And kissed her. It may have been the confidence, the daring, the fun, and the adventure of her trip to Vegas. Whatever it was, she kissed back. Then he heard a voice from beside her. “You are NOT fucking my friend.” It was a chubby American woman with a southern accent. She grabbed the Indian girl and physically started pulling her away as Micha held her other arm. The struggle continued for a few seconds, with the Indian looking at both of them, apparently to figure out who was more determined. Jeremy Soul, who was a keynote speaker at the Super Conference and accompanied the Rockstars to Tryst, strode over. “Sit the fuck down!” he said to Micha. Micha, surprised, let go and the Indian was pulled away into the throngs of partiers in an instant. “Look,” Jeremy said. “You never run any comfort at all.” The word “comfort” is Community jargon for the “get-to-know-you” conversations a man and a woman have after they first become attracted to each other. The Community has several scripted routines to make these conversations livelier and deeper. The key characteristics to display in comfort, Jim had taught, are integrity, - 117 -

Myths and Masters of the Game passion, genuineness and family values. If attraction was about being funny and cool while showing value, comfort was about human warmth and understanding while showing a depth of character. Earlier that day, at a Super Conference seminar, Braddock had taught one of his comfort routines: “I once had a puppy,” Braddock said, launching into his story in front of the Rockstars and several dozen other students. “We found him at the pound and took him home. We thought he was a bad dog because he would never listen to what we said. We ended up being angry with him all the time. Because he was so bad, we took him to the vet to see if he had a personality disorder or something. But when we went, we were told he was deaf. I felt so bad. I used to have to run in front of him and wave my hands in the air to get his attention and make him do things.” The point, of course, was to show Braddock’s human side and demonstrate caring values. It was the type of story that could make women go “awww.” Despite all the routines, the goal was the same as that of any couple with a tentative romantic or sexual interest. “Running comfort” means “getting to know each other.” Jeremy was right. Micha had never run any comfort – ever in his life. And Vegas was exacerbating that. Still, because it was Vegas, he was having success – over-the-top, panty moistening, ego-boosting success. The moment Jeremy wandered off to supervise Super Conference students, Micha was back at it. “Fuck me. I’m Swedish.” This time, was an American girl from the Midwest. She looked at him and said “no.” Micha pulled her in and said she was right to reject him. They should probably get to know each other first. “My name is Micha. What’s yours?” “I’m Tonya.” Then he kissed her. Tonya kissed him deeply, tightly grabbing his waist. For a moment, the room spun. “Let’s go,” Micha said, guiding by the arm in the direction of the exit. She smiled, said she was out with her friends, and left. Throughout the club that evening, Micha repeated his routine. From about 30 girls approached, he had kissed nine of them. - 118 -

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All had left after the kiss. Still high on the interactions, he decided to rethink his strategy. No way was he going to go to the hotel alone after the non-stop arousal. The strategy he ended up choosing was more of the same. He became louder, brasher, and bolder. It worked in Vegas. He ended up sleeping with as many women as time allowed during his trip.

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“The last thing he said before I left was probably the single most important bit of advice I ever got about being a man. “Sam,” he said, “there are two questions a man must ask himself: The first is ‘Where am I going?’ and the second is ‘Who will go with me?’ If you ever get these questions in the wrong order you are in trouble.””  

--Excerpt from Fire in the Belly, Sam Keen, a book highly revered by the community

F

ROM THE HEAT AND LIGHT OF LAS VEGAS, THE ROCKSTARS RETURNED to the grey drizzle of London and the constant low grade filth and chill of the Rockstar Mansion. Within hours of his return, Aaron fell ill again. As one of the three Rockstars who could afford it, he moved out into the $200 a night Hoxton Hotel in Shoreditch, a 10-minute walk from the Rockstar Mansion. The lingering smells, loose floorboards, odd drafts and the constant noise of drunken revelers from the bars next door were too much to handle after the luxury of the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas. Vishal, too, had fallen ill and spent the initial days after his first-class flight from Vegas lounging with a blanket on the faux-leather sofa that was scuffed - 120 -

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and torn from years of neglect and use. Josh was already ill and vomiting in Vegas and the return flight to London, plus the time-zone change, only aggravated it. He had another problem that limited his ability to frequent the clubs and restaurants as well – he was broke. Josh had budgeted $7,000 for his expenses in the two-month program. Six weeks in, he had spent $10,000 - his entire life savings. The training had bankrupted him and increased the pressure to perform. For the project could also send his life speeding ahead. Not only was there the opportunity of a lucrative, glamorous, world-traveling post as a dating instructor at stake. He was hoping for a greater success on the program, but he knew that had to come from within him. For his own ego and self-satisfaction, he needed Man Game. But Man Game wasn’t something that could be delivered with simple lines. He knew he needed an epiphany – a rapid, thunder bolt of an epiphany and character enhancement - and it hadn’t come yet. Micha found he was suffering a form of Vegas withdrawal and tried to recapture the feeling by visiting strip clubs and trying to maintain the frenzied pace of picking up women. London, though, was not Vegas. His chain of successes was broken, sending him into a rare period of self-reflection. With the end of Rockstar only three weeks away, he was contemplating the imminent return to his home town in Sweden or to Oslo, Norway to resume work as a forklift driver.  But it was impossible to return to who he was. After the eye-opening of the training, both options repulsed him. What he really wanted was to return to Vegas and radically overhaul his lifestyle. For that, he needed a different kind of job – one that would give him more money and greater mobility. The purpose of Project Rockstar was, after all, to incite a complete life change, not just improve the men’s skills with women.   One obvious advantage of Rockstar had come in the form of new friends and contacts. Many of the men in the Rockstars’ entourage – the tutors, instructors and mentors – were multi-millionaires. There was Karim, who commanded a $100 million-a-year real estate development enterprise from his marble-floored offices in London’s posh Mayfair district. Karim, while hanging out with the Rockstars to improve his skills with women, had been teaching them his business philosophy, a mixture of meditation, giving, and haggling. Jeff, who was independently wealthy before he turned 40, had been giving tax advice and coaching the Rockstars on real estate investment and systematic wealth building. Then there was Steven the financier and others, all wealthy, self-made men. Alex, too, could help Micha attain the lifestyle he coveted. Alex had started - 121 -

Myths and Masters of the Game and sold jewelry companies, cleaning companies and others to garner financial comfort over the past several years. And Vishal, with the support and knowledge of his clothing magnate father, had earned millions as a clothing retailer by the time he was 20. Micha, though, had a weakness that Jim had repeatedly pointed out to him. He was obviously uncomfortable around wealthy people. Whenever the talk came to money, career success or investment, Micha turned quiet. So Micha turned to Aaron. Over the weeks, as Aaron studied and tried to model Micha’s animalistic pickup techniques, the two had bonded and developed a deep trust.   For the last several years, Aaron had built his wealth through affiliate marketing via the internet, or the art of driving web traffic to other people’s products so he could take a cut. It allowed Aaron to fly first class, traveling on a whim to Singapore, Sydney, Toronto or Bangkok. Internet marketing worked well with the Playboy lifestyle the Rockstars aspired to. It could allow him to work anywhere in the world and, with dedication and expert guidance, could give him financial independence. Although the goal was unrealistic for most, Micha now had the advantage of knowing successful professionals in the business. Affiliate marketers are also disproportionately represented in the Community of pickup artists – perhaps because the lonesome career can promote reclusion and partly because of word of mouth within certain circles. Aaron started tutoring Micha and set him the goal of earning $500 a day within three months. The goal lifted Micha out of his post-Vegas haze. There was more to life, he realized, than one-night stands. Still, he felt he needed to work simultaneously toward another goal. He had made great, probably lifelong, friends during his time so far on Rockstar. This, in itself, added meaning to his life. After the raw sex of Vegas, he remembered Jeremy’s words: “You never run any comfort at all!” It had stuck in Micha’s mind. Those words, combined with the sudden influx of new, lasting friendships, made Micha also want to seek a deeper relationship with a woman – maybe even have an actual girlfriend. Suddenly, his outlook was changing. From the girl-mad recovering addict obsessed with sleeping with strippers, he was now becoming obsessed with career success and relationships.

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“Instead of men making a special effort to woo women by describing their tireless work for charity, they should perhaps mention their love of skydiving,” wrote Professor Richard Wiseman in his book 59 Seconds: Think a Little, Change a Lot. “The effect emerged in an online survey that I conducted with fitness expert Sam Murphy to explore the relationship between sport and attraction. More than 6,000 people reported which sporting activities would make a member of the opposite sex more attractive. Results revealed that 57 percent of women found climbing attractive, making it the sexiest sport from a female perspective. This was closely followed by extreme sports (56 percent), football (52 percent) and hiking (51 percent). Bottom of their list came golf and aerobics, with just 13 percent and 9 percent of the vote. In contrast, men were most attracted to women into aerobics (70 percent), followed by yoga (65 percent) and going to the gym (64 percent). Women’s choices appear to reflect the type of psychological qualities they find attractive - such as bravery and a willingness to take on challenges.”

MOST OF THE ROCKSTARS ILL AND MICHA DISTRACTED BY HIS WITH newfound interests, it was Alex’s time to shine.



Alex, who had meticulously watched his diet, monitored his sleeping - 123 -

Myths and Masters of the Game patterns and faithfully exercised through the recent hectic weeks of training and traveling, was in the best physical shape of all the Rockstars. He was still an enigma to the instructors and the other Rockstars. When asked why he always seemed so contemplative and quiet, he replied that he was mulling the “existential questions” that had prompted him to apply to join Rockstar in the first place. That changed when he met Jamie and Sasha, two Rockstar tutors with fundamentally different outlooks on life. Jamie runs Salad, a UK-based employee training company specialized in neuro-linguistic programming. Fans of NLP tout it as something of a shortcut to excellence and success. By modeling successful people and tuning into one’s subconscious, they say, the practitioner can achieve lasting, positive change in days, or even hours. The techniques can be used to increase persuasiveness in negotiations, boost employee performance, increase sales or even seduce women. But it wasn’t the multi-hour training Jamie gave the Rockstars that so influenced Alex. Rather it was an off-hand comment Jamie made while Alex was walking him to the nearest London underground station after the session. And the casual advice was basically: “Be happy.” Perhaps it was the calm, decisive tone to Jamie’s voice, or the timing of the advice, coming as Alex still struggled to find direction. But those casual words were the root of the change Alex was looking for. They constituted a missing puzzle piece. He had been struggling for weeks with the idea of happiness and life’s goals. The simple advice came with perfect timing, triggering a series of mini-explosions in Alex’s head. Alex set about his most important seduction to date – he started to woo himself. He had decided, as he said, to be happy with himself. Happiness comes from within. Happiness makes But it wasn’t the multi-hour training life easier, work more efficient Jamie gave the Rockstars that so and it influences how others influenced Alex. Rather it was an offhand comment Jamie made while Alex react to you. There is often little was walking him to the nearest London or no difference in terms of underground station after the session. wealth, privilege, health or looks And the casual advice was basically: between a happy person and an “Be happy.” unhappy person,   In the coming days and nights, Alex would ruminate on the thought of falling in love with himself. It was to be his own project within Project Rockstar. - 124 -

Characters

   And help in doing that came in the unlikely form of Sasha, an unshaven, ragged-looking, Canadian comedian and pickup artist whose abrasive, in-yourface style gave him as many detractors as it did fans. Sasha, who had literally just stepped off a boat from Ireland, was an unmistakable presence on Oxford St. in the crowded Liverpool Street Starbucks as he huddled with Alex and Jeff, briefing them on the day of pickup ahead. Unkempt hair and his loud orange leather jacket gave him a devil-may-care aspect that was offset by a genuine curiosity in others. His look and mannerisms left others wondering whether he had been the class reject or the most popular guy in the school.  “Holy Shit! You are so fucking gorgeous that I just shit my pants. You owe me for a new pair of underwear!” It was one of Sasha’s classic lines. And he shouted it loud enough to catch the attention of a dozen passersby. Alex and Jeff winced slightly with a hint of embarrassment. And that was just by seeing the line delivered to nobody in particular. Now, they would have to deliver. Coffee finished, Alex was the first to give the style a try. He spotted a lone, elegant woman walking through the Liverpool Street train station, and approached with another of Sasha’s lines. “Excuse me,” he said. “Can I have one hair from your head and a piece of skin from your scalp?” The woman stopped in surprise and looked in askance. “You see, I want to clone you and grow myself a new girlfriend. She would be perfect.” She guffawed. Alex smiled and started to transition the conversation, Jeremy style. “So what are you doing in London on such a gorgeous day?” But the woman was still off guard from the opening line. She looked around repeatedly, expecting to see a hidden camera. “No, you can’t have one of my hairs.” She was a step behind him, but grinning broadly. The interaction broke down through an element beyond his control. As he chatted with the woman, taking out his phone to get her number, Jeff had approached a girl a few steps away, not realizing how close he was to Alex. “Excuse me,” Jeff said, loud enough for Alex and his new friend to hear. “Can I have some hairs from you head and some follicles?” - 125 -

Myths and Masters of the Game Alex had to laugh. But for the woman it was too weird. She smiled but refused to give him her phone number. Still, it was a success. The simple act of doing something socially weird was an energy boost. It’s as if his world just expanded by an inch or two. Over the previous weeks, Alex had finely honed his body language, overcome nervousness of approaching random women, realized that his French accent was a strength and not a weakness, and practiced sustaining conversations even with people who had little to say. The proof of that, to him, came that day with the crazy lines. He could deliver the most nonsensical, even occasionally offensive, lines he could imagine and he could still keep the women’s interest. That knowledge spurred him to take bigger and bigger risks as they continued gaming in Liverpool Street station and shifted their activity to Oxford Street, London’s premier shopping area. On the subway, Sasha forced Alex and Jeff to loudly approach women and hit on them, with an entire trainload of people watching and listening. They were experimenting with social boundaries and their own comfort zones. On his first subway approach, Alex walked up to a woman sitting and reading a book. The entire subway car was silent. “I don’t mean to come across as weird but …” She glanced up at him. The other passengers also looked. And Alex stared. Awkwardly. “Yes?” she said, her voice rising in a question. And Alex paused more. “Go away,” she said. This time, Alex did come across as a weirdo. He had paused too long. The point was to pause just until she starts feeling uncomfortable, and then break the tension in a yo-yo of emotions. The social pressure Alex was feeling was crushingly intense. For the first time on Project Rockstar, he actually blushed a deep crimson in embarrassment. And he walked away. The approach had not gone according to plan. The trio jumped off the subway at the next stop and got on the next car – the first one was thoroughly burned for them. The next approach worked better. “I don’t mean to come across as weird but …” And he waited. - 126 -

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And waited. The girl looked at her friend and cracked an odd smile, as if to say “what the hell is this guy up to.” That was the moment he had been taught to wait for. “You’re absolutely beautiful.”   She laughed and Alex smiled in return. His charisma was once again shining through. She had caught the joke and, after a conversation of five minutes, eagerly gave him her phone number. The trio dashed from car to car, repeating the approach with crazier lines, until they reached Oxford Street. There, Alex approached women seeking what amounted to fashion advice for morons. “Do these earrings look too big for me?” he asked while holding up wooden hoop bracelets to his ears. “Does this make me look gay?” he asked while wearing Playboy bunny ears. He would approach women and, after telling her she was beautiful, he would seemingly accidentally drop a fistful of coins at her feet, act flustered, and then regain composure, bringing on the full charisma, after picking them up. It was all about experimentation. As the daylight started to fade, the Rockstars were told to approach only women who were talking on cell phones. “Excuse me,” Alex said to a brunette talking animatedly on her phone as she walked down Oxford Street. “But you’re absolutely gorgeous.” She paused for a second, not sure that she heard him right. “I said you’re absolutely gorgeous. Now get off the phone. I’m much more interesting than the person you’re speaking to.” “I’m talking to my boyfriend,” she said, stressing the last word. And then back to the phone: “Some guy just came up on the street and told me I’m gorgeous.” Alex could hear the man’s voice grow louder over the telephone. “Let me talk to him,” Alex said. “No. You might steal my phone,” she said, as her boyfriend overhead the conversation. “No I won’t.” “OK. Talk to my boyfriend,” she said, handing over her phone with a curious smile. - 127 -

Myths and Masters of the Game Alex took the phone, and hung up. “I was saying that I think you’ll find me much more interesting.” She laughed, took back her phone and walked a step away to redial her boyfriend. For Alex, the day was perfect, even heady. It wasn’t actually about picking up women. The crazy lines were often actually an impediment to seduction. But that didn’t matter. Alex rarely met a woman whom he was truly interested in anyway. It was about experimentation, social boundaries, and self-learning.   Returning from a stroll that evening, ambulance sirens flashed outside the Rockstar Mansion. Inside, Vishal had grown dizzy, watery-eyed. The flu he had been harboring and the weeks of hectic living had caught up with him. The attendants said he may have come down with a severe flu that the ambulance attendants speculated was swine flu – the pandemic haunting the globe at the moment. With that, Vishal’s Rockstar journey was cut short. And Alex’s felt like it had just started.

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In a 2010 study, researchers Skyler Place and Peter Todd set out to map the effects the opinions of strangers could have on people’s dating choices. They filmed a speed dating event and then asked 40 men and 40 women to view the recordings of the interactions. The 80 guinea pigs were asked to rate how successful they felt each interaction had been. But, secretly, the researchers were studying the reaction of the subjects to the men and women in the videos.          The women showed increased interest in the men who went speeddating if the women in the videos displayed a positive reaction to them. However, if the women in the videos showed a negative reaction, the women watching suddenly lost interest in the same men. The male viewers’ ratings of the women increased if other men were interested but showed no difference if the viewed men showed indifference or negativity. This is the heart of the concept that the Community labels “preselection” - the concept that, when a man is with an attractive women, other women will be more interested. It explains the ageold adage that “when it rains, it pours.” When a man dates or marries an attractive woman, other women are more likely to come knocking.   It’s a double-edged sword though. When a man is rejected by women publicly, other women take note and lose interest.  - 129 -

Myths and Masters of the Game WHO MAKE A LIVING IN HIGH-END CLUBS LEARN TO MAP THE THOSE night; the subtle shifts in atmosphere that depend on time, place, and alcohol

consumption. Before midnight, social shields are at their highest and bloodalcohol levels at their lowest. This is when beautiful women are least receptive to approaches from strange men. Their entire night lies ahead, with all the possibilities. Prolonged conversation with a boring man, a man of perceived low social value or a libidinous creep, can stigmatize them. Most do not want their friends, or any hot guys, to see her talking to a loser, even if they’re just being polite. Most men in clubs will approach indirectly and briefly, if at all. They will wait for repeated eye contact or hope that she makes an offhand comment in his direction. Later, with drinks flowing and the dance floor throbbing, they may try to make conversation with the women in their immediate vicinity. Men who are trained, though, can make their move at any time of the night, adjusting their approach accordingly. Early on a Wednesday, when most men were around the bar ordering their first drink of the night and the music levels were low enough to allow comfortable conversation, Alex was compelled to make his first move. Movida – the high end club in West London unapologetically rejects girls for being too fat and ugly and rejects guys who seem to lack spending power. A place neither Alex nor the rest of the Rockstars would have gotten in to if Jim had not used his social contacts to sway the doormen. Before midnight, the general admission area is crowded with women. The VIP area, where a table and a bottle of vodka cost several hundred pounds, is populated mainly by men. The nightly migration happens around midnight, when the men in VIP invite the women in general admission, who, in many cases, instigated the invite. Alex didn’t have a VIP pass and knew he was working against the clock. If he wanted to meet a woman, he would have to do it soon, even without the status of the richer men on the other side of the club. It was 11 p.m. The sway of her hips slowed almost imperceptibly as she passed. Most men would have overlooked it. But the Frenchman had been trained to catch signals such as these; a brief glance, a slightly raised voice, a hand to her hair that conveyed a fleeting, possible interest. Alex normally needed no signal at all to approach a beautiful woman. And when he got one, he couldn’t resist. He lightly touched her elbow. As before every opening sentence, Alex repeated his mantra in his head Smile and Loud. “You’re dressed for Fashion Week,” he said over the house music beat. - 130 -

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Statements, not Questions, he thought. Offer value, never seek it. His practice at correct posture, voice projection and his growing confidence when talking to beautiful women were paying off. He was now a commanding presence in London nightclubs – he was regaining exuberance, but now with a note of calm, pristine thought. The French accent that had so embarrassed him only weeks ago, making him seem shy, introspective and stumbling, had been honed into a tool of seduction. He had found strength in a weakness. Only six weeks ago, his head perpetually jutted forward from heavily stooped shoulders, giving him an off-balance appearance, like a crane seeking fish. After daily training from Vercetti, his shoulders were now straight. He had the posture of a dancer and the confident body language of a movie star. But he was used to a more confident, direct type of delivery, simply telling women that they are fucking gorgeous. This was partly because he felt it more honest. It was also partly because he was habitually late, arriving at clubs when the party is in full swing and women are more receptive. In fact, today was the first day that he arrived on time and had to deal with a club that was still warming up. The sense of intent and purpose he conveyed to the passing blonde seemed incongruent with the comment on fashion. She, like so many single women, was at least subconsciously hoping for a man to sweep her off her feet – to seduce her and ravish her, to force her to yield to her own emotions. But that hope for her, as for many women, was buried almost six-feet under years of disappointments and countless boring and annoying pickup attempts. A man’s attraction to a woman is like a light switch – on or off. Female attraction is like a dimmer switch – who is this guy?, maybe, no, hmmm, mmaybbee again, Yes!, wait a minute! Fucking no way! Hmmm. OK. Lord don’t let him fuck up. NO! She noticed his incongruence. Something was just a little tiny bit off, tempering her response. Beautiful women learn to detect false notes in suitors very quickly. After a quick glance, she started to walk away from him. He stood his ground and grabbed her elbow again, this time more firmly. “Whoa! … Stop.’’ As Jeremy Soul had taught him, Alex remembered to slow … the … fuck … down. “My name … is Alex.” - 131 -

Myths and Masters of the Game She paused for a half second and a hundred subconscious calculations. Few women held Alex’s interest from close up. This was one of them.             Notes of jasmine and orange blossom sang from her Bulgari perfume. Flowing skirt. A natural grace and a dancer’s posture. All tied together under a pretty blue silk Chanel headscarf. The calm grip and his steady voice piqued her curiosity. She offered her soft hand. “My name is Jane.” With the four words, she made herself a target of Man Game. Her body language opened up to Alex as they chatted. The sharp toes of her high heels pointed directly toward him, blue eyes roving his sharp features in a hunt for hints of sincerity or false notes. She adjusted her shoulder strap. And Alex turned on the studied playful charm. He evoked an imaginary scenario Jim had taught, meant to keep it light and fun while provoking images of travel and romance. “You are so adorable. I think I’ll take you back to France.” She laughed. She leaned in slightly more. “But the flight is fully booked. I’ll put you in my suitcase.” “I won’t travel in a suitcase!”  “Don’t worry. I’ll cut a breathing hole for you. You can see the French countryside through the breathing hole.” The club music that can shield women from boring conversations with random men can also heighten emotions, accentuating the fun of speaking with the few men who can break through. She laughed and started vibing with the role play, leaning closer and closer. Eventually, she touched his arrowhead necklace and asked him about it. He had hooked her, at least enough to cover the basics of a normal conversation that could make her more comfortable. She was Ukrainian. An economics student. Staying with a friend while visiting London. Well traveled. That type of conversation can stale out in seconds in a crowded club. Strobes cut visual contact in half, new groups enter and leave, the DJ announces birthday celebrations and waitresses take drink orders and drunken customers spill them. Alex needed conversational gambits that could weather brief, but potentially decisive, interruptions. In Stockholm, Jeremy had compared a seduction to the image of a duck on a pond. On the surface, it appears to be gliding harmoniously. Underneath, its feet are paddling furiously. Alex paddled, straight to a subject that would later prove telling in this - 132 -

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seduction- he started speaking of waffles. He spoke of the warmth wafting from the golden grid and amber syrup - the comfort emanating from a waffle stand on the grey, rainy streets of London. He spoke with passion Jeremy had compared a seduction to the image and a momentary of a duck on a pond. On the surface, it appears fascination with the to be gliding harmoniously. Underneath, its griddled dough. He feet are paddling furiously. waved his hands to his nose in a French mime of taking more of the scent into his nose. He smiled as he closed his eyes and took in the imaginary smell. Jane’s playful smile faded slightly in confusion. She wasn’t confused by the topic though. She was confused by the sudden air of sincerity and serenity – of quiet passion - as the Frenchman’s hand swirled imaginary steam and waffly warmth around her. Eye contact slowed. His hand lingered on her shoulder as he spoke. He was creating a bubble for two in a West End club packed with bouncing dancers, half-dancing bouncers, overworked bartenders and halfdrunk men on the prowl. With heightening warmth, they spoke of their travels, their interests and a tentative future meeting before she had to leave. With a coy smile, she dubbed him Alexander the Great and plugged the name into her cell phone.  

  The text message came from an unrecognized number as Alex lunched with Aaron and Josh at The Noodle King off Brick Lane. “Good morning,Alexandr the Great!it’s Jane from Movida.how are you?maybe we can meet each other today?’’ Alex smiled. His seduction from Movida with the blonde Ukrainian had hooked. “She wants to fuck you man,” Aaron said. “Do it or I’ll kick your ass. She’s opening you!” Both Alex and Aaron knew it wasn’t so simple. Alex still had work to do. He set down his chopsticks, and thumbed out a reply. Again, he was paddling underneath the calm surface. “Hey sweety, yes we can do that but only in the evening. You’re clever by the way. now my clothes smell just like you, bvlgari.’’ Alex glanced at Aaron, and then at the waitress delivering the mineral - 133 -

Myths and Masters of the Game water.   “I am the shit,” he told her casually. Alex was shattering the shell that had led many of his colleagues to believe he was becoming an introvert. The passionate Alex that bubbled over into the enthusiasm of his video application, his crash course in English and hyperbolic good emotions of last summer were making a tentative comeback. The waitress, who had seen him several times a week for a month and a half, stared at him, uncomprehending.   Hours later, Alex took his time as he prepared to meet Jane at 8 p.m. at the Bond Street tube station. He had set up the meeting in a strategic location and would take some sweet time getting there. At 8 p.m., he was just leaving the apartment and Jane was already waiting – just outside the waffle shop that Alex knew was perfuming the exit of the station.   Almost 15 minutes later, Alex emerged from the tube station and purposely avoided looking around for Jane. He knew she would be nearby, probably watching him, and he would put on a show. He walked straight to the waffle shop, waved the scent toward his nose and inhaled deeply. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her – cracking into a broad smile. Had he emerged from the station and walked straight to her, he would have had to engage in the boring formality of greetings – the How-Was-Your-Day greetings that heighten the awkwardness of first dates. By making her wait 15 minutes, then smell the waffles and then smile, he had taken her on another mini montagne russe of emotions. They hugged. The first success of the night. Alex His second target of the night was the cute waitress who had given him a second glance at the Italian restaurant as Jane was eating her ravioli. Although not interested in the waitress, Alex filed her away in his head for further action. After they finished their meal, he casually chatted with two more waitresses, knowing the one who had looked at him – she was also French would come over and show signs of interest. Women pick up the interest of other women far faster than men and Jane was no exception. Waiting by the door, she watched as the French woman joined - 134 -

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the group around Alex. He was now laughing and joking, entertaining three attractive women. The fourth, and last waitress, walked over and Alex then had the attention of the entire female waiting staff as Jane watched. Pre-selection, as Jim would say. A man who has women chasing him becomes more attractive to other women. It’s the phenomenon men experience regularly but few can P explain. Men can go through a long, sexless spell A ma re-se lect n wh and then, when they finally get a girlfriend, other cha ion o h s i a n g s women start showing interest. Evolutionary mo re a him be women psychologists explain it through the female’s ot ttra come h e s ctiv r wo subconscious hunt for good genes. If other e m to en. women value it, it must be worth something. When it rains, it pours. Alex was doing his rain dance. He bid the waitresses farewell after another minute, put his arm around Jane, and stepped into the London autumn evening. With a half-hug, he reassured her that she seems special and he prefers her. Another step forward. The pleasurable tension of the seduction was shattering the very last of Alex’s shell. He had started to come out days earlier while Sasha, the day-game artist and comedian from Toronto, was teaching him crazy ways to approach women in the daytime in West London. He had Alex holding up pink bows and girly bracelets in women’s’ clothing stores and asking girls if the items would make look him look gay. As he asked for phone numbers, he had to whip out his cell from his pocket along with dozens of coins in change, spilling them all over the women and the sidewalk. He had Alex hitting directly on girls with boyfriends or talking on their mobile phones, approaching girls accompanied by their mothers, dancing with Hare Krishnas, loudly hitting on girls on crowded trains, telling beautiful women he wanted a hair from her so he could clone her as a girlfriend. Alex had no luck attracting women with the socially awkward approaches. He wasn’t meant to. He was meant to overcome any last vestige of social anxiety. The purpose was two-fold. First, the intense social pressure of using absurd, clownish lines in approaching beautiful women accompanied by grandfathers or mothers, on cell phones and iPods, or in groups of half a dozen, would inoculate him against nervous tension when approaching a single woman on the street or a group of two or three in a club. This would rid him of the nervous voice cracks and - 135 -

Myths and Masters of the Game pauses that so hindered his early approaches to women. He would very quickly start to come off as a super-confident alpha male. Second, and most importantly, it would allow him to “be in the moment” and simply act out his feelings and enjoy his surroundings. If Alex could live in the moment and have fun without introspection or second-thought, he would simply enjoy himself more. If you are enjoying yourself, others want to be around you. Alex was naturally close to the moment – he had read and identified with spiritualists such as Eckhart Tolle and grasped the concept of turning all sensory input into thoughtless but sublime experience. If he was in the moment, Alex could draw positive energy from the inner-ear buzz of a passing ambulance siren, the golden flash of a floating autumn leave, the hot-air blast from a train speeding by and the blood-rush blush of a woman he had just complimented. It would give him love for life. Alex had handicapped himself with too many thoughts of greater purpose and direction in life. That was very rapidly changing. 

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How do you get that enticing woman to be your girlfriend? Your goal is to get to seeing her 2-3 times per week and for her to come to the conclusion herself that she doesn’t want to see other men and/or that she’d rather give up the ability to see other men in return for knowing that you won’t see other women. If you pressure her into a commitment before she feels completely ready, you’re significantly adding to the likelihood that she’ll cheat on you later. Vague long-term plans based on common interests are a great idea. For example, if I’m dating a woman who tells me she loves art, I’ll talk about how we have to go to the Getty Museum one day. If we realize we both love ice hockey, I’ll comment on how we have to go to a game. Not only are you uncovering great date ideas, but you are also 1) reinforcing any emotions she has that you and her have some exciting possibilities ahead, 2) communicating that you see potential for some kind of longer-term relationship with her, and 3) helping her imagine herself with you in other contexts in the future. Don’t actually plan anything at this stage - keep it vague. Planning is boring for many women and takes away excitement and adventure and can make everything feel “too serious” to her. Right after you first sleep with her is a key time. Stay over or invite her to stay over. Have breakfast together. Call her the next day. Communicate to her by your actions (without saying it) that she’s not a one-night stand to you.

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Myths and Masters of the Game Women can be very unpredictable right after sex, so she may display emotions that actually have nothing to do with you. Don’t react to these. Society bombards her with messages that her worth is tied to her sex appeal but also makes women feel guilty or cheap for enjoying their sexuality. Don’t refer to having had sex with her. Don’t call to “check in” with her. Call because something funny happened that you want to tell her about. Be the same natural, fun, and interesting person you were before you slept with her. Don’t let any awkward silence develop, but don’t sound nervous or talk too much or too quickly. If you’re worried about awkward silences, cue up enough topical things to talk about for at least an 8-10 minute conversation. On one of your next calls, invite her to do something. If she sees you again after you’ve slept together, you’re well on your way. At some point, she should give indications she’s committing to you. She might reserve part of her weekend for you, or want to know what you’re doing on the weekend so she can make her plans. Introducing you to her friends more than once is a very good sign. Remember, women lose social value if their friends perceive them as easy, so if she’s introducing you to them more than once, she is probably not introducing other men at the same time. It is a rare woman who will see you 2-3 times per week and never refer to you as her boyfriend or initiate a discussion about the future. But if it happens, then the responsibility falls on you to say something like “I feel funny bringing this up, but I realized we never actually talked about this. Are we supposed to be seeing other people?” -Savoy, Love Systems Director  

 

LONDON SEDUCTION SOCIETY IS A UK-BASED MEMBERS’ ONLY THE online club of pickup artists, instructors and aspiring students. Its members

range from virgins to world-class experienced seducers.   To join, one must apply to Miki. Miki, a Bangladeshi immigrant dubbed London Hunk in the pickup Community, is one of the highest profile, and most boisterous, members of the Community in London. He’s also a poster child for the level of improvement one can achieve with drive and Community support. - 138 -

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  As a child and teenager in strictly Muslim Bangladesh, Miki never had any interaction with women who weren’t in his immediate family. Approaching a strange woman, as pickup artists do by definition, was liable to prompt a visit by the police. He moved for schooling to London at the age of 16, without his parents, and was so awkward around girls that, if one sat beside him on the bus, he would change seats or stand rather than remain beside her. He went to international school in London where kids would hang out based on their origin – Americans with other American kids, Malaysians with other Malaysians. But Miki was the only kid from Bangladesh and so remained friendless for several more years. Overeating to compensate for social isolation made him 100 pounds overweight by the time he was 18, further complicating his chances of learning to interact successfully with girls. The other kids taunted him, shoved him around and spread rumors that he was a closet homosexual because he so obviously avoided any contact with the opposite sex.   He eventually made a few “friends” who would let him hang around with them occasionally if he helped them with school work.   Once, Miki followed these friends to a night club. He had never been in a club before. When they realized he intended to actually enter it with them, one said “Mate, can you please not come in with us? Girls are watching.” Miki cried on his way home.    While others were socializing, he used his free time to work in part-time jobs and start online businesses, mostly through sales on eBay. When he started university, he did so in a $3,000 Armani suit.   But his social failures continued. He was now an expensively-dressed overweight social outcast.   He turned to the internet to seek solutions to his isolation and he stumbled on an article about seduction.  But Miki didn’t really understand the concepts. He was too stunned by the simple revelation that he could talk to strange women and not get slapped. It was then he found the drive that has made him famous within the London pickup community. In 2006, he paid for a weekend of training from a team of pickup instructors. There, he approached a girl for the first time.   An instructor had physically pushed him in front of two girls passing by on the sidewalk. - 139 -

Myths and Masters of the Game “Umm. Excuse me. Do you know where the nearest Starbucks is?” Miki stuttered. “Yeah,” they laughed. “It’s right behind you.” It was a feeble attempt – but it changed his world. He was not slapped. They even laughed!   That same night, he watched as one of the instructors approached, and made out with, three random women. Miki’s life changed. He made the seduction of women his top priority. The realization that the impossible had become possible for him prompted him to set another hopeless goal. Weighing more than 300 pounds, he spotted a lean male model on the cover of a men’s magazine and decided that he would also get in such great shape that he would pose for a men’s fitness magazine. He used his savings to hire London’s most exclusive physical trainers. Within two years, he was posing for fitness magazines. He also became a fixture in London clubs, dating as many as 12 women at the same time.   “And for all the newbies, here is my little advice,” Miki wrote in an online article about his experiences. “People in this community are probably some of the nicest and most generous people you will ever meet in your lifetime. No one will bully you. No one will judge you. No one will make fun of you. They will only help you and will be beside you when you need them. So enjoy the time here and try to do something back for this community as well.”   Now, Miki was asking the Rockstars and the Love Systems instructors tutoring them to give something back. Miki and the other administrators of the London Seduction Society had organized a weekend of training for any LSS member who requested it. And he asked the Rockstars to help coach the horny throngs in the buzzing clubs of London. The students paid the equivalent of $25 each, with all the proceeds going to research of breast and prostate cancer. This would be one of Miki’s last events. In months, he planned to return to Bangladesh to take over the family’s 6,500-employee jean factory that supplies Diesel and a dozen other labels worldwide.   The exorbitantly exuberant ladies’ man was preparing to return to an arranged marriage to a woman he never met.   They gathered in a rented room of a central London pub to develop a strategy and assign students to coaches. About 100 aspiring pickup artists - 140 -

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showed up to take advantage of the training. Most of them were young men who couldn’t afford the training offered by the professionals. As such, the nervous gang assembled in a collection of funny hats, pocket pen protectors, nervous giggles and hastily quaffed pints. It was a shouting, love-starved mass of computer nerds, the socially challenged, the acne-ridden, the late bloomers and the hopelessly curious mixed in with a scattering of men so experienced in pickup that, when asked how many women they slept with, they’d have to round the number off to the nearest 100 for lack of memory. A quick reading of posts on the LSS forums prepared the Rockstars for the challenges they could face teaching the members. Most posts had titles such as “How do you game if you have a small penis?” or “How should I walk?” or “What’s a clitoris?”   They generally displayed a lack of basic schooling in pickup. The Rockstars would be dealing with absolute newbies. The students split into groups, with each Rockstar taking three or four, and then hit the night clubs that didn’t have strict entrance requirements.   Alex and Micha volunteered to take six students together to the Tiger Tiger nightclub near London’s Leicester Square. Tiger Tiger, like On Anon, was one of the staple night clubs for pickup artists. The bouncers would let groups of guys in and most of the clientele was comprised of tourists and others who were in London for short periods. It was a place that aspiring pickup artists could return to over and over without the risk of running into girls who had humiliatingly rejected them the previous week.

Rockstars On a Roll

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Myths and Masters of the Game   As per usual with men who are new to approaching random women in bars, Alex and Micha had to push, plead and persuade before they would make their first approach. The opening lines they gave them were indirect, requiring less bravery than the direct, ballsy approach that had been unanimously adopted by the Rockstars.   For the shiest of the shy, they would warm up by simply asking a woman for directions to the bathroom or by briefly engaging guys by asking about other good bars in London. The point was only to get them talking to people, however meekly.   But, that night, the successes of Alex and Micha thus far in Rockstar were working as a hindrance. Body language, voice tonality, eye contact – their mere presence – exuded confidence and charisma. They were now so used to nightclubs and chatting with random women that they seemed more at home than any others in the club. From the moment they walked in, women were sneaking peeks at them or sidling up toward them in the hopes of a conversation. The students they accompanied barely stood a chance. When it became obvious in the club that Alex and Micha were evident leaders of their groups – commanding half a dozen guys and fielding questions – female attraction spiked further. And the fact that they were showing no interest in women despite the obvious female interest in them, raised even more curiosity. Alex was on the ground floor of the crowded Tiger Tiger night club, directing students to approach women and then critiquing their efforts.   The club DJ started playing Dolly Parton’s “Nine to Five,” immediately inciting Alex’s feet to move to the upbeat rhythm. The song had a special status for him. When he had first heard about pickup philosophy back in France, he would, in his own often clumsy way, go out with friends with the aim of meeting women. Nine to Five was the very song he had used to boost his mood before hitting the clubs of Toulouse. Now, whenever he heard it, he would instantly receive a boost of enthusiasm. Then, for the first time he witnessed a direct approach from the receiving end. “I want you.” The 20-something American girl had walked straight up to him from across the bar, planted her feet right before him, and gazed into his face. “I know you want me honey,” he said, and turned his attention back to his - 142 -

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students. He was working. “Nine to Five. What a way to make a living,” Dolly Parton continued. Alex’s female suitor was an attractive girl, a slightly mousey type who was obviously putting her ego on the line just as so many of the male pickup students were doing around her. “No,” she said. “You don’t understand. I want you.” “Of course. It’s OK.” He patted her on the back to send the signal that the conversation was ending. “Fuck off,” she said, and walked away.   The girl’s bold statement of interest, and then his rejection of her, further piqued the curiosity of the other women in the club. For many, it was the pinnacle of pickup studies. He had progressed to the point where women were now throwing themselves at him. For the newbie LSS students, it was magic. They clamored to him, asking what kind of techniques or tricks he had used to accomplish that. But the explanation would take weeks.   Alex had to consciously lower his perceived value in the club, standing alone and looking bored, to persuade women not to approach him so he could get back to work. Upstairs in the club, Micha was leading another group of students and getting a similar reaction from women. His students, though, were slightly more advanced and less reluctant to approach women and keep a conversation going. This allowed him to approach one woman that he found particularly attractive. Micha’s epiphanies about the importance of his professional life and relationships, plus the comedown of the return to London, had prompted him to tone down his absurdly confident “fuck me” approaches that brought him so much action in Vegas. Still, his training and confidence with women allowed him to dazzle the LSS students with an approach that they considered way too aggressive to try themselves. “Wow. You’re really cute. My name’s Micha.” Micha immediately stood apart from the students around him and the key was in his subcommunications. By now, he had learned to harness his animal magnetism and focus it through well-timed eye contact and slow, deliberate speech. He was also projecting heightened confidence in clubs which, by now, were feeling like a second home to him. The new Micha contrasted greatly with the helter-skelter, instinct-driven Swede who spoke with self-deprecation and a hesitance often approaching the level of a stutter. - 143 -

Myths and Masters of the Game “I’m Jennifer.” She smiled, shook his hand, and glanced toward her friend, finishing a brief conversation, before looking back at Micha.   She was a tall, slender Taiwanese woman. She was out with a friend and, as they chatted, she divided her attention between her friend and Micha. Micha, who figured she was playing hard to get, spent much of his time counseling the students at the beginning of the interaction. Eventually, her apparently calculated nonchalance, even as other women in the club were eyeing Micha, intrigued him more and the students started drifting downstairs to try to capture Alex’s attention. The old Micha would have simply been curious about her naked body and would have immediately left on seeing the she wasn’t likely to sleep with him on the first night. The new Micha was curious about her. He started telling her about Project Rockstar and describing what he was teaching the students. She was intrigued, and rewarded him with details of herself. She moved to London years ago to finish her studies and work in public relations. She aspired to be a journalist. Her plump lips still served as a distraction as she spoke. He wanted to kiss her. But he refrained. Micha found himself, as Jeremy would put it, “running comfort” for the first time. “So, where is your family? What do you think of London.” And the other questions he had so vehemently shunned earlier.   Two days later, Jennifer spent the evening at the Rockstar Mansion and still refused to have sex with Micha. The connection deepened, along with Micha’s curiosity. She was playing the player who, within a week, would start to consider her something like a girlfriend.     Josh, meanwhile, had gone to the upscale Café de Paris with Aaron, a few other instructors and a handful of advanced students who didn’t really want any coaching that night and had just come more to hang out with instructors and meet women more casually. Café de Paris was the type of place that could eat newbies alive. It was also the type of crowd that made Josh particularly uncomfortable – men with Aston Martins and women with the egos every bit as inflated as the - 144 -

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price of their brand-name clothing.    The club featured an indoor balcony where the elite could look down on the not-so-elite, opulent chandeliers, dramatic centerpiece staircases and show-stealing celebrities.   Just being there, Josh was out of his comfort zone. Among the instructors in the house was Steve, or 5.0. In his years of training and teaching, Steve had intentionally developed a specialty in gaming at high-end clubs for Love Systems.   The style of pickup was slower, more about establishing value and making connections. Direct approaches such as those the Rockstars were using carried an extra risk in a tight knit social circle. Public failure could ruin a man’s reputation for months – or longer. Steve had honed his skills at high-end pickup while working as a promoter, gathering throngs of attractive women to frequent ritzy clubs. He had learned the lesson that sleeping with women connected to your social circle or your job could get messy. He learned to time it and choose carefully. His job was to impart those lessons, and more. Josh knew he had to mingle and demonstrate value – the art of showing women, and even men, that you are somebody worth knowing, without speaking to them. But he was also impatient to show that good ol’ southern gentlemanly charm could work in the restricted world of London red carpets. He adopted his warmest smile and sincerest voice tone. It was the “Howdy kind sir” that would prompt the warmest greeting of the gentlefolk of rural USA combined with a boyish charm to disarm objections. He spotted a raven beauty loosely associated with a group in the corner of the club and he decided his mingling would start there. Aaron, who had watched most of the night as a detached observer, collecting details and interactions for later though, wrote his summary of the night on his blog:   “Here’s the theory I came up with from being in Cafe de Paris: the people there were just not having fun. As I looked around the room, people were *trying* to have fun... as in trying to dance to the music, trying to smile, trying to enjoy themselves. In opposition to a typical nighttime venue, people there were just socially constrained and no-one was having fun. Another interesting observation is that none of the naturals there were successfully gaming girls. They were having the same dead-end one-minute conversations that we were. This only gives me

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Myths and Masters of the Game way more respect for 5.0 and his ability to work the venue. He told us that it took him the better part of nine months to work out how to do high-end club game. There was obviously more going on there than I’m able to perceive at this point - but in this moment, it feels to me that people go to these places simply to be seen and to hang in their small group of acquaintances (I would dare not say friends). It all seems fairly pretentious actually.”

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“A r e y o u O v u l a t i n g?”

When a man is pushed, tormented, defeated, he has a chance to learn something; he has been put on his wits; on his manhood; he has gained the facts; learned his ignorance; is cured of the insanity of conceit; has got moderation and real skill. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

STATUS WAS A CURRENCY AS VALUABLE AS CASH AT LORD DAVENPORT’S S OCIAL party mansion. Unfortunately, Josh had neither.

  Davenport, the notorious cad who was fashioning his sprawling residence as the London version of L.A.’s Playboy Mansion, was holding a birthday party for a girlfriend. The B-list - and aspiring A-list - stars of the world of poetry, porn and pop dressed in their evening best. Silky bareback tops, the eccentric suits, vests and pocket handkerchiefs of gentlemen, the garish hairstyles of rappers, fleshy nubile dancers and heavily-muscled waiters wearing nothing but loin cloths to hide their genitals. This was a party for the London elite. Jim had produced an invite for Josh to see how his skills would stand up against the highest echelons of London. Josh leaned over a table and picked through the spicy breaded prawns, dainty kebabs and rapidly emptying bottles of champagne. On the other side of the table stood Jim and Vercetti, two of the men who had most schooled him in Love Systems seduction for the past six weeks. He wanted to do these - 147 -

Myths and Masters of the Game men proud and show he could now shine even in a world that could glitz him to near blindness. And to his left were three tall, model-gorgeous women, dressed to expose cleavage and tanned and gym-toned thighs. They had the air of haughtiness that gave them the right to party at 33 Portland Place. Jim and Vercetti glanced toward the women, taking note. Josh picked up a spicy mini-lamb patty, mulled its potentially breathtainting garlic content, and ate it anyway. He was buying himself the seconds he thought he needed to make himself more comfortable in these surroundings; moments to contemplate the best approach. Jim and Vercetti chatted to each other and faded into the background to relieve the pressure. Josh, who had gone broke in the last few weeks of training and was seeking a job as an instructor, knew they were measuring him. At 33 Portland Place, Josh was surrounded by even more rich men - and the women they attracted. The parts of the room that weren’t decorated by feminine beauty were adorned with barely subtle European money. So far during his training, Josh had been largely relying on the swagger left over from his US Marine Corps officer training and the classic good looks and cultivated charm of a Southern U.S. country gentleman. It could have been Gone With The Wind meets 24-Hour Party People. But underneath, after a lifetime raised by a feminist mother and her hard core feminist friends, he still didn’t feel completely manly. He had learned the words and the motions but he had not internalized the belief. The women he had so far seduced on Project Rockstar – and in his life - had taken a liking to a “nice guy” image. They viewed him as dependable. He was seen as a Lord Davenport’s Party Provider, a man who would hold chairs out for her, buy flowers and stick around to take care of her children – even if they weren’t his. He could charm women, whisper sweet words in bed, and even make them fall in love with him. But he wanted to bring out another side – the dangerous Lover who could make women wet with his dominance and well-timed dirty words. He - 148 -

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wanted, above all, to show that he could meet a stunning woman, keep her on the thrilling edge of fear and intrigue with a combination of forcefulness and the willingness to walk away, and bed her the same night – a night that, years later when she was married with children, she would remember with a smile and a sigh. He wanted Man Game.   Jim, who scored Josh the invite to the mansion, knew that. He also knew that, because of Josh’s financial concerns, tonight would be one of the student’s last on the training. One of the three models to Josh’s left, with long dark hair curled carefully over her bare shoulders during hours in front of her bedroom mirror, turned in his direction, eyeing the hors d’ouevres on the table. It was the closest to an opening that he would get. He looked over his shoulder at her. “So. Where’s our birthday girl?” he asked. The opener was tame and low-risk, delivered nonchalantly. It could also lead the model to believe he actually had the status of knowing the birthday girl, who was enjoying adulation from a dozen partiers about 10 yards away. “She’s over there.’’ Her two model friends also glanced curiously toward Josh, the man who dared speak to them when so many powerful people could be watching. “Where?” Josh asked. “In the red dress.” “Aha. Because I thought … They turned away in unison. Suddenly, Josh was cut off by a wall of welltanned backs in strapless gowns. He clearly didn’t know the birthday girl. It was evident he was just another hanger-on. In high-end social terms, they had isolated him, leaving him on his own and bleeding him of any kind of social status he may have derived from the simple fact he had been invited to the party. A dozen other men and women around the table, finely tuned to social cues in London’s high life, would subconsciously register the rejection. To a status-seeking observer, which described most people in the room, the backturns showed he was not a man worth wasting time over. Josh’s face started to flush in embarrassment but he ate another patty to feign indifference while he rethought his approach. So much was at stake – riches and self-identity.   Josh had been bled of his last bit of social value upstairs at 33 Portland Place. He would go downstairs, toward the stripper pole, Jacuzzi and smoking area that could provide a different atmosphere and, hopefully, a change of pace. - 149 -

Myths and Masters of the Game And he found it, in the form of a smoking hot American blonde girl accompanied by a large-breasted, chocolate-skinned Brazilian. Judging by looks alone, the pair could have been professional exotic dancers or actresses specialized in vamp roles. On seeing the duo, Josh knew he had to approach to redeem his value and satisfy his drive. But he first strolled over to Jim, who was socializing with other party-goers in the same room, and asked him for some quick advice. Jim, with a coy smile, gave him a line to use. And then he sat back to watch. To Josh, it was one of his last opportunities to display real, lightning Man Game to Jim and, most importantly, to himself. Josh had never had a one-night stand and never successfully approached on balls alone. He knew the girls he attracted saw him as boyfriend material rather than a one-night stand material. Women who are open to one-night stands, he had always felt, wouldn’t be attracted to him. So the line Jim gave him was perfect. It was becoming increasingly important to him that, just once, he have a one-night stand using bold Man Game. And if he could do it at an exclusive party such as this, he could do it anywhere. So he felt compelled to deliver the line Jim. The Brazilian beauty had just left for the bathroom as Josh approached and the blonde, as women often do when left alone, picked up her cell phone to check text messages. “Excuse me. Are you ovulating?” “Umm … No.” She looked up from her phone and fixed him with a quizzical gaze.   “Then how do you explain me coming over to talk to you? You know that pheromones are released during ovulation don’t you?” She stared at him, trying to digest what was probably the most unusual approach of her life. Josh left the awkward moment hanging for a second. He then leaned in, slightly threateningly, and interrupted the pause. “Give me your wallet.” Somewhat stunned, but still grinning, she took the leather wallet out of her purse and gave it to him. He took the wallet in his left hand and grabbed her arm with his right. “Come with me.” He led her to the dance area, giving her little chance for reflection, and puts his years of dance training to use, grinding and moving sexually. - 150 -

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The two took a break from dancing to go to the bar and buy a drink. Three attractive women that Josh had seen earlier that night were beside them. He seized the opportunity to chat with them, demonstrating pre-selection and social skill. However, after chatting for a few minutes, he turned around to find that she was surrounded by three guys who were obviously vying for her attention. If he continued his conversation with the other girls, his little demonstration could backfire. He gently pushed through the wall of guys and whispered in her ear. “Hey. It’s you and me tonight.” She emotionally melted. With the look she gave him, Josh knew he was fulfilling his goal. He took her hand and led her away to a quieter corner as the guys watched. And he kissed her. Within 45 minutes, talk turned to lodgings and he described his room at the Rockstar Mansion. “Wow. Sounds pretty bad. I’d be curious to see it,” she said. She quickly added: “But we are not having sex. I just met you.” “Of course I won’t have sex with you on the first date,” Josh said. “What would you think of me?” From his training, Josh knew that this was classic girl-think. Why would she even mention sex, if it wasn’t on her mind? Josh whisked her away from the party, into a taxi, and then into the empty Rockstar Mansion. The next day, in a summary of his night, he wrote:           “I’ll leave to your imagination what followed.  In the reflection time afterward, what I was struck with most was just how far I’d come.  I walked into Rockstar just seven weeks ago with an embryonic knowledge of my own masculinity.  In that time, I have been forced into set after set.  After fucking set.  I have taken classes on sex, tantra, and masculine intent.  I have squeezed my PC muscles more than I want to admit.  I have talked to dozens, if not hundreds, of women.  I have flirted, touched, and attracted.  I have shown, and received interest.  I have made peace with the fact that it is OK to show the world that I am a man, and am allowed to show attraction to women in public.  In short, I have found access to the masculinity that I have been denied since my birth. Project Rockstar has been a success in a lot of ways, many of which are still unknown.  But into the future, I will look back at my night at the Davenport estate

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Myths and Masters of the Game as the moment when I realized, beyond doubt, that I had unlocked a door that I thought would forever be closed: the door to my inner-man, long repressed and almost forgotten. And he was happy to start getting reacquainted with me.” It was classic Man Game.

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Dead Squirrels and Vibrating Whips

All men should strive to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why. --James Thurber

T

HERE WAS SOMETHING ODDLY CASUAL ABOUT THE WAY DR. YEN FISHED the pink pill out of his pocket with pieces of lint, crumpled receipts and small coins. The taxi driver was steering west, separated by a thick screen from Dr. Yen and potential dangers from the rear. “Oh yeah,” Dr. Yen said as he shoveled the other debris back into his pocket – the thick British coins, the condoms and the tickets for tonight’s club. “This is for you. Jim said it’s OK if you want.” Dr. Yen proceeded to adjust his clothing, pulling PVC tights from his crotch. He knew that tonight, as Jim had planned, was about meeting women in extremely unfamiliar environments for the Rockstars. Aaron hours ago, partly inspired by Alex’s stunning transformation over the past couple of weeks, had willfully toggled down his laser-intensity of thought and analysis. When he woke up that morning, new experiences were high on his todo list. He had meticulously planned a Saturday of wild emotional freedom. He - 153 -

Myths and Masters of the Game would cut loose, step by step, in a programmed effort to experience fun. He was getting close to it, exhilarated from the bizarre costume shopping of the afternoon. He took the pink pill. It had no taste. Perhaps the size of an aspirin. No - maybe some taste. Slightly chalky … He watched from the London black cab’s spacious rear seat as headlights and streetlamps glanced off the moist asphalt, connecting yellow dotted lines in stroboscopic rhythm until they arrived at the club. … slightly chalky with a strange aftertaste … A slaughtered stuffed raccoon hung from her neck and blood dribbled from her fangs, down her white throat and onto her whiter bare breasts.  Her eyes were black, her lips red and she smelled of despair, desperation. She threw a dead baby at Aaron. The baby juddered as plastic on the end of a string and didn’t hit him. He didn’t flinch. She stared through charcoal eyes for a reaction. He stared back through charcoal eyes and gave her none. The Rockstars had hit Torture Garden, the fetish club infamous for its lavish, sexually-charged parties. And it was Halloween. A woman in a fat-dimpling black rubber suit whipped a man chained to the wall. He was in his seventies and moaned as the lashes hit the spidery hair clumps and mole-studded skin of his thin-ribbed back. Aaron saw Micha and sought a moment’s word to catch his bearings. Micha was shirtless and spray-painted. His penis sprouted from his red plastic pants as a crowd of onlookers gawked. It was painted gold. Golden. Aaron watched without curiosity as a naked gay man tattooed toe to head like a bush of fig leaves leered at Micha. Rejected, the bush man stumbled on. Artificial dead rabbits, skinned, were thrown on the floor. Others hung from the walls, bleeding. Aaron, now dressed in steel-spiked shoulder pads, leather pants, and carrying a vibrating horsewhip, walked further. Down the rabbit hole. “Hi. I’m Aaron.” He spoke to a redhead in curve-clinging red PVC. She pulled him in and danced. Then her girlfriend joined, posing for photos on the floor with her head between Aaron’s crotch. Aaron bid farewell and walked away, to the dark corners. He watched briefly as Bugsy stood partially hidden from the dance floor, getting a blow job from a woman on her knees in the shadows. He watched - 154 -

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as Dr. Yen approached, pulled out his cock, and stood beside Bugsy, awaiting his turn. Bugsy grew uncomfortable, softer, with the unexpected addition of another cock. Aaron kept walking, seeing rather than looking. A dainty black girl, blood dribbling from her bee-sting lips onto her black satin dress, sat alone, back to the wall. ``Don’t you have any friends?” Aaron’s pickup training was still coming through - the teasing voice, like an automaton, eliciting a response. She brightened slightly. “I have friends! Who are you?” Aaron deflated again. The same response, an invitation to conversation, predictable. It quickly elevated into an apathy of an intensity he had never felt. He watched as the girl talked to him. “Where are your friends?” she asked, inviting his input. He wished for effortlessness. Even the effort of avoiding effort suddenly seemed too much. His world of self-analysis, to-do lists and step-by-step professional progress evaporated, steaming into the fake-blood-spattered walls. He didn’t want to do nothing because nothing was too much. Aaron walked away from the black girl without a word. He wandered for minutes or hours in the thicket of three-dimensional thumping house music that he couldn’t really hear. Women, and men, touched his spiky shoulder pads to bring him into their private parties. He became oblivious. Then he felt a spark, like a puffed cigarette’s glow in the desert. The antidote to his apathy, he thought, was an emotional connection. He wanted to drop everything and talk to somebody who could relate – a person who could interpret the tone changes in his voice, the inside jokes, the closing of his eyes. He wanted to see a person who could understand without conversation. But none of the Love Systems instructors went to Torture Garden that night and Aaron’s Rockstar friends were just as weirded out as him. A black-horned devil 10 yards in front of him started masturbating as he sucked the toes of a nun with a knife in her guts. The nun was passionately kissing another woman. Alex, who Aaron had left minutes or hours or an eternity ago, fit the definition of a person Aaron admired. They had positive emotions and shared experience. As Jim would say, those two items were the recipe of a friendship. - 155 -

Myths and Masters of the Game Aaron respected, and maybe envied, the recent emotional change in Alex – from inscrutable introspection to a joy that can only come from living in the moment. They were polar opposites and that made them friends. Aaron decided he would like to talk to Alex. Among the students, Alex had become the Rockstar most chased by women. But he was also the most chaste. He had been waiting for the woman that would blow him away, dizzy him with infatuation. Alex had felt out how to live in the moment this night as well. The key to interaction in this club was sexual directness tempered by role play. The vibrating whip Alex wielded helped too. Alex, who had cultivated a feeling for social shifts and mood changes that was starting to give him an upper hand - would joke with women that night that he was their pimp and wanted to make sure they were working hard enough. Or he would say that they had been a bad girl, or too much of a good girl. They would react playfully. Then they would get the whip. Women weren’t at Torture Garden for sex. They were there for sexual freedom, the joy of flouting social norms, the escapism, the hallucinations of a bare-breasted vamp, a sexy zombie, a ravished dead princess, a blood-spattered bride, a whore. Alex had figured out how to seamlessly heighten that experience for them. “Who are you tonight?” His voice was calm, deep, as he pointed his whip at a waif-type blonde in severe make-up and fishnets. “I’m a Russian prostitute,” she said in the heavy accent of northern England. “Who are you?” “I’m here to make sure you are working hard. How many men have you turned on tonight?” “None.” Alex maintained a calm composure throughout, He had, he knew, discovered the key to the social context. And he had decided that, at least tonight, he would get dirty. “None? Work harder!” She smiled but Alex left no time for pause or second thought. “Come here!” he shouted. As she stepped closer, he leaned in, slowly, sexually. - 156 -

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“You … are … fucking … gorgeous.” Electricity charged the atmosphere. The waif, who identified herself as Sarah, stepped even closer, fingertips almost touching Alex’s chest. Her friend was a meter away, flirting with a guy. But the charge caught her attention. With a push, she disentangled herself from the other guy and came to watch. “You know that Sarah was just on stage?” “Yeah?” Alex said, looking off into the crowd with a hint of disinterest. “Yeah. She was getting spanked.” Alex’s demeanor remained unchanged after the comment. “Did you enjoyed it?” he asked Sarah, distractedly, unconcerned about incorrect grammar or accent. Sarah shrugged her shoulders and didn’t answer. Alex remembered Dr. Yen’s advice to “speak from the balls.” He turned to Sarah, looking intensely into her face. “Did … you … enjoy … it?” “Maybe, a little … I think.” She was a deer in his headlights. The girls guessed that Alex was an old-hand at Torture Garden even though he had never been to a similar event in his life. It was clear he was leading the interaction and he could do what he wanted. Sarah and Ann stood on either side of Alex, each with a hand on his shoulder as they spoke. And they spoke, guided by Alex, of sexual liberation and the unique freedom that a place such as Torture Garden can afford. Alex casually glided the tip of his whip along one of Sarah’s stockinged legs. Sarah, Alex had observed, was the more dominant and outgoing of the two girls. Her approval would mean a lot to Ann. Alex tapped Sarah’s leg twice, firmly, with his whip. “Spread your legs.” Sarah paused. Her breathing grew ragged. She looked toward Ann. Then, with a sideways baby step, she spread her legs. Alex pushed the “on” button. The whip vibrated slowly up her leg, to her thigh. Sarah closer her eyes and drew a sharp breath. The whip now tingled between her legs as Alex lingered, pushing up under the skirt. He found her clitoris. She smiled faintly, her face muscles relaxed. - 157 -

Myths and Masters of the Game Ann was watching, unspeaking but wide-eyed. Alex slid his free hand on to Ann’s ass, massaging. When Sarah opened her eyes, the girls looked at each other in amazement, almost laughing. And Alex’s hand moved between Ann’s legs, stroking and pulling lightly. Ann started writhing in time with her whip-stroked best friend. His hand moved under her panties, inside of her, as the whip did the same to Sarah. The bulge under Alex’s PVC pants was growing, now visible. And the girls grabbed it. He moved them to a more discrete corner of the club until … “Oh my god!” It was Sarah, her mood suddenly changed. “I just saw one of my husband’s friends! We have to stop.” Both girls, Alex learned at that moment, were married. The change of mood was even more rapid than the sexual escalation. No matter, Alex thought. He knew he was well on his way to mastery. And that feeling, after so much sacrifice and dedication, was better than sex. Even better than sex with two hot women at the same time. Micha, only a hundred yards away, was struggling. The Swedish hammer blow of “You are fucking gorgeous”, the gold-sprayed cock and his sexual aggressiveness were failing. The blunt force of Man Game that had rewarded him in Las Vegas lacked fine-tuning here. In a sexually overwhelming environment, being sexually overwhelming didn’t work. Or was it his sudden lack of interest in meeting and fucking random women? So recently, in Vegas, Micha had been obsessed by sex. Now, he felt little of that. His remaining time on Project Rockstar was about success in life. Aaron wandered blindly out the door. His ears suddenly ringing from the silence and his eyes relieved of the bizarre. He hailed a cab back to the Rockstar Mansion. There, he changed into his street clothes and started the 3 a.m. walk to his hotel through the glitter-strewn Halloween streets of Shoreditch. Thoughts came like a curse, threatening to shatter the womb of apathy that sheltered him for the first time he could remember. Like Jim, he had grown up as a nerdy Asian in macho Australia, bullied and rejected. He shunned social situations, preferring Friday nights at the computer, - 158 -

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developing the business that would eventually allow him to fly first class and live at the boutique Hoxton Hotel. Aaron had never been in a bar or club until four years ago. His first time was not for fun. It was to learn how to pick up women. Friends had told him of methods, tricks and routines they had read that would allow him to sleep with hot women. They were the rudimentary versions of the techniques he was still studying. Hot women were only part of the equation for Aaron. His growing knowledge of HTML, Search Engine Optimization and content management systems had given him the edge in professional situations. He also wanted knowledge that would give him an edge in social situations. He paid a pair of professional pickup artists, flew to Toronto and, under their tutelage, entered a bar for the first time. Every single night out since, he has focused on meeting women or enhancing social techniques. As he walked through the dark Shoreditch neighborhood to his hotel, he spotted a lone woman, standing outside of a closed supermarket and apparently waiting impatiently for somebody. The scene struck him as poignant. After a lifetime of careful, precise thought, he was suddenly flooded with emotion. Alex, Josh and Micha had all had their epiphanies and self-revelations in the latter days of the Rockstar training. Now it was Aaron’s turn. But it came in an unexpected form. And, far from providing him certain answers, the epiphany provided him with key questions. He returned alone to his hotel room and immediately wrote an e-mail to Jim.   “As I sit here writing this I am crying. And I have no fucking idea why.”  Today started out high energy, and exciting. Shopping for fetish gear with Dr. Yen in Camden and then jetting across town with Bugsy to complete our outfits - that was all fun. By the time we headed for Torture Gardens I was completely pumped and ready to go.  Yen gave me a pill. Ecstasy I believe.  I have never taken drugs in my life. Ever. I think to some extent what I am feeling right now is disappointment and sadness at myself for taking that pill, and for violating what is probably one of my highest values. On the one hand, I’d like to blame my current state on whatever it was that I took. But at the same time, I also recognize that there is something more deep-seated going on here, and that - 159 -

Myths and Masters of the Game the drugs alone would not have created my current state of mind (plus ecstasy is supposed to make you happy). We arrived at Torture Gardens pumped. Went in, and surveyed the scenery. Walking around the club was a strange feeling. Honestly, most of what I saw in there gave me zero emotional response. The dead rabbit stuff was a bit freaky, but the spanking, whips, girls in lingerie (or nothing at all) and performance acts all seemed pretty normal to me. Whether I’m just desensitized to that sort of stuff or this is just as expression of my general lack of feeling emotions I don’t know. I walked around with Alex and Micha a bit. Alex and I were on the dance floor, we opened some girls, danced with them and took a photo (professional photographer). We then walked around a bit more. I tried a variety of approaches - indirect, direct, saying hi, super direct... nothing hit. By this point I was starting to feel the effects of whatever it was that I had took. It manifested in a feeling of light-headedness and a spiraling state.  I hit a state of “I don’t care about anything right now”. This was distinctly different from the night out with Paladin, which was more “I’m bored and I don’t give a shit”. I spent the next hour wandering around the club alone, not wanting to talk to anyone, not wanting to approach, not wanting to do *anything*. As I was wandering around I had a number of girls grab me and give me approach invitations... in those moments I just was completely apathetic. Or perhaps a better description was that the energy that they put out into wanting me to talk to them just could not make it through whatever state I was in. I just faked a smile and walked on.  At some point my logical brain kicked in and told me that wandering around, was simply pointless, and that it was time to go. I found Micha and we bounced.  Even though I know I’m in a fucked up state of mind right now, my logical brain has enough functioning capacity to know that I want to document this.  This is how I’m feeling.  Recently, when I’ve been out and am bored or unmotivated to approach, I find things to challenge myself with. Whether it’s thinking about a new business plan, or running asshole game or whatever. Tonight, I found myself not there at all. It was as-if my entire hierarchy of values in life had been taken and thrown out the window.  Some people say that when you’re high/low/on drugs you access a more natural, pure state of who you actually are. If this current state is who I actually am on the inside, it would explain a lot. It’s a strange state where I am really only feeling two things: 1) not wanting to do anything at all - even the things I usually

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enjoy, and 2) an inner need and drive to relate with people.  The best way I can illustrate this is by example. When I eventually found Micha and we bounced I just wanted to talk, talk talk. Relate. Convey my experience.  As I was walking back to my hotel from Rockstar West, I passed a girl looking sad, lost and lonely by herself on the street. That inner feeling inside me, made me feel that I should ask if she’s alright. And if she wasn’t, that I should comfort her. But the second feeling of not wanting to do anything at all overrode that, and I walked on. For no real reason at all, after I walked past that girl, and was walking into my hotel, I was struck by the thought that perhaps what I’ve been aiming for choice with women - is not what I want at all. Perhaps I just want to find a nice girl and just fall in love. I have no real idea where that thought has come from, but there is definitely feeling and a wanting to relate to others behind it. So I am writing it down. At the moment I can’t also help but feel sad, and disappointed at myself. Tonight was supposed to be a great night - a fun night out, and some part of me (perhaps the logical part) says that I should have stayed and weathered through whatever it was I was feeling, and done some crazy shit. But the more I think about this, the more I just feel disappointed. At not performing, at not pushing through. At the moment it feels like the usual self and amour that I present to the rest of world has been stripped away... and underneath that, is nothingness. There are no feelings beyond wanting to relate to others. There are no drives, no motivations, no hierarchy of values, no overwhelming reasons why to do anything. Which makes me question, all my thinking and logical analysis and everything that I’ve done over the course of Rockstar (and for that matter my life) - if underneath it all, there’s nothing there... than am I just deluding myself with a set of goals and a journey that isn’t really mine?”             Aaron hit “send” before reading the e-mail through. He knew that his analytical brain would rationalize the experience, file it away for future study, prompt him to delete the e-mail and then forget the raw emotion of the night.

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Myths and Masters of the Game

THE END OF PROJECT ROCKSTAR, AARON HAD DISCOVERED THE A Tjourney that should have absorbed him in the first place.

And so did the others. Six months after Project Rockstar, the men who finished the program had been propelled down new avenues of life. Micha had become a dating instructor after passing several tests by Savoy. From his insular world as a forklift driver in Norway, he had expended to travel to Thailand, Singapore, the United States and other countries and was working part-time as an affiliate marketer under Aaron’s guidance. Josh was finishing law school with a new view on social dynamics that he said gives him an edge and improved confidence. Alex was rapidly progressing to the dynamic life he had always sought. “Here are the key realizations I had from Project Rockstar,” Alex wrote in an e-mail six months after his training. “I had to give myself permission to be happy, then and there. Happiness comes from within and not from external sources. Being happy also makes everything more efficient – it’s an obvious personal conclusion but one I really had to learn. “People’s feelings toward you are definitely influenced by how you feel about yourself. The best thing you can do in life, then, is to love yourself. “People with intellectually demanding activities like me (or computer geeks, people who work in finance, engineering etc.) have been rewarded in their lives, - 162 -

The Change

through gains in money or social status, by making superior use of their intellects. Thus they have developed an unconscious habit of over-using their intellect. This hinders their social skills, because communicating emotionally is conflicting with communicating intellectually. I had to learn how to switch the intellect on and off at my command and just enjoy the moment. “Some of the ways I use to do that are through physically warming up, throughout exercise or dancing or just saying stuff to people, particularly women, that just makes me laugh. I also think of my social value and all the good things that I have to bring to the table in any relationship. And I focus on total awareness, a 360-degree consciousness.” And Aaron. The epitome of the intellectual returned to Europe to help train a new crop of Rockstars in 2010. July 1st, 2010. Stockholm, Sweden.

As I write this, I find myself sitting in a quiet 2-bedroom apartment in suburban Stockholm - my retreat away from the busy nightclubs and coffee shops of Stureplan, where many of our adventures of last year took place. My life, my values and in some respects the core of who I am as a human being have changed. Project Rockstar was an awakening that shattered and broke down who I was at every level - as a boy, as a man, as a human being, as a quiet, introverted Asian-Australian who spent the first twenty-something years of his life worried about what people around thought of him. The combination of travel, being in London for the first time, and meeting characters, personalities and exploring places and substances that my parents fought tooth-and-nail to keep me away from, was something of an experience to say the least. I walked away from Project Rockstar in November last year, not knowing what the future would hold or where I was going, but knowing that I walked away bearing the scars of battle and having undergone something that few people could understand. On Christmas eve, I boarded a plane and showed up unannounced at my parents’ house in Sydney, Australia, and opened up to them about everything the pickup community, Project Rockstar, where all those mysterious hours of my life over the past few years had gone, and related to them the cast of characters, women and exotic locations I had been over the past few months. For the first time

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Myths and Masters of the Game in a long time I realized that everything was OK. All the fears that were instilled in me during my traditionally Asian upbringing about disgracing my family or losing face were unfounded. As only parents can, they told me that they loved me and that I would always have a place at home. Mum and dad, I love you. “Game” as we call it, has taken on an entirely different meaning to me. It is no longer about “will this work” but “how can I use this to make my life better”. One of the legacies of Project Rockstar was the amazing network of people and connections that I found myself part of afterwards. A number of the mentors that I met - in particular Jeremy and Jim - have become friends for life, not to mention some of my fellow Rockstars. My oft-Machiavellian views on business, money and how the world works have softened. Perhaps it was the variety of people that I met, or perhaps it was the agonizing final two weeks spent trying to untangle the mess of conflicting thoughts in my head. Whatever the reason, it has transformed into an appreciation of the variety of life. Money is less important to me now than it was before. Sleeping with more women is less important to me than it was before. I find myself often thinking of the story of the Tortoise and the Hare, and how slow and steady progress is better than always trying to sprint ahead. My passions and dreams have turned from “nice to haves” to “these are things I really want”. As for lessons learnt, there were many. And there are undoubtedly more to come as I slowly digest the lifespan’s worth of notes, recordings and wisdom accumulated during those eight weeks. But here are some of the important ones... Living your passion. Seeing people from all different walks of life converge on Project Rockstar made me realize that everything exists simply because someone is passionate about it - so why not you or me? Game is great, but life is better. All the Rockstars from last year saw that things beyond game are more important to life than game itself. Having beautiful and interesting women in your life makes you happy, no doubt, but there is so much more out there than that. Game is one of those ubiquitous things that makes your life richer and more fulfilling, but it is not the end all. Most things will fix themselves. I spent the final three weeks of Rockstar searching for my elusive “tipping point”, only to have all the progress that I had made descend into a pit of emotional darkness that night at Torture Gardens. It took that fall, and the time I spent rediscovering myself in the months after for me to see that left alone, things tend to improve. Some things are worth searching for - the tipping point is not. Go out, enjoy, and interact, and it will happen. Who you spend your time with is what makes you happy. I think that once you feel you’ve attained a certain level of mastery or independence in your life,

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The Change

what makes the difference is simply who you choose to spend your time with. Where I live now is less important to me than who is around me, and who I am in touch with. I find that I still have conflicting ideas and viewpoints with many of my friends, and certainly my family, but it only serves to me more appreciative of them. You must do things to change your life. Returning to San Francisco after Rockstar was mindtrip in itself. Whilst I was away on this amazing adventure across the pond, most of my friends and associates had made little or no progress in their lives. The only difference between myself and them, was a one-thousand word application and the dedication to follow through. Happiness is a fool’s pursuit. All you need to do is create conditions that make you happy most of the time (just ask Alex!). It’s all about giving back. Micha, Alex and myself are back in Stockholm at present helping train this year’s Rockstars. While it is amazing to see in yourself how far you’ve come, it’s even more amazing to see the same in others. Adam has used the term “man game” a lot throughout this document of our journey. “Man game” is simply recognizing that there is a person who you were meant to be, and allowing that person to shine through. When you are mature, responsible, and in ownership of your desires, you are a man. And that’s all there is to “man game”. Cheers, - Aaron

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Myths and Masters of the Game

By Jim Stark, aka Mr. M

When people hear about Project Rockstar, they typically ask 3 questions: “What is it?” “How much is it?” and “Why?” The third question is a truly legitimate one. Why would I volunteer my time to run a program to teach 6 guys for 8 weeks when I get paid more than 1000USD per hour per person for individualized training? The surface reason is because I’m lucky in that I love teaching others how to become real men (which was the essence of “man game”) and because it is something that I would probably do for free – particularly for people that I liked and I thought deserved it. The deeper answer, however, goes to the heart of the “dating science” or “The Game” or “Pick Up” movement. I love dating science. The human courtship ritual, or attraction, determines so much of human behaviour, but surprisingly, is extremely poorly understood on a practical level. It is something that a brain scientist might not be able to do, though a plumber perhaps could. It’s motivating enough to be the inspiration behind most amazing works of art and music. It’s powerful enough to started wars. And it’s the reason that I created Project Rockstar. - 166 -

Epilogue

On the surface, dating science is about the lines and routines. There’s no doubt that it is about the fact that these tricks and tactics exist. These are the “pick up lines” which journalists choose to sensationalize. I hope this book has shown you this aspect of dating science. It does exist, it works and it’s fascinating. However, while this draws you in, it won’t magically change you into an attractive person – or a happier one. On a deeper level, dating science is about the evolution of a man into his best self. How does this happen? Well, there are typically two moments of realization that only the most elite “pick up artists” have once they begin getting results with women:

1. The first is the moment you realize that success with women will not make you happy and is not, in and of itself, a healthy pursuit. It’s a realization that I am glad that many of the Rockstars had, and one that rocked me so deeply 5 years ago that I left my life in Australia and travelled to Africa to live with a monk and explore happiness. Dedicating your life to sleeping with hundreds of women will leave you empty somewhere deep inside. Why? Because the way to be a fully realized man is NOT through sleeping with hundreds of women. It’s through (a) knowing that you deliver great value to those around you, (b) knowing that you are free and in control of your own destiny and (c) knowing that you are attractive to the opposite sex. That is the essence of “man game”. And “The Game” is only a very small aspect of this.

2. The second is where you see that in the end, the best, most pure and most effective way to become more successful with amazing women is simply to become a better and more attractive person. Not by lines and routines (albeit, they are a small part of it), but by becoming the type of person who people can just sense is an attractive person. How do you do this? Not by the lines and routines. But by evolving as a person and becoming the true expression of the masculine male which the human species intended you to be. Once again – “man game”.

It is to this end that I created Project Rockstar. Project Rockstar was initially meant to be a meeting of the greatest minds in dating science. I had the vision of an underground mastermind which would teach the 6 Rockstars, and inevitably each other, the art of becoming an ultimately attractive man. A “Rockstar”. This would not just be about “The - 167 -

Myths and Masters of the Game Game” – it would be about business, wealth, health, fitness, spirituality, selfactualization, self-improvement and awareness and more. Project Rockstar would simply be the “theatre” to bring together the mentors who had these key paradigm shifts. Why would the mentors participate? Because they were interested in learning from each other to become more enlightened men, in the aforementioned spheres of life. Simple and brilliant, all at once. What I didn’t expect was the bond to form between the Rockstars and mentors to be so powerful and necessary. As Aaron said, “Returning to San Francisco after Rockstar was a mindtrip in itself. Whilst I was away on this amazing adventure across the pond, most of my friends and associates had made little or no progress in their lives.” Once you have had the moments of realization which allow you to live in a different paradigm of reality to others, you want to stay within that paradigm, with other people who exist in it. That is how the “Navy Seal” team was created - because there is a special bond between people who share enlightened realities. When these people work together, real magic can happen. So, to the current moment. I’m on a Virgin Atlantic plane from London to New York. Why did I go to New York? To see Josh, one of the Rockstars of 2009, and Chase, one of the Rockstars of 2010, both of whom I consider to be part of the Navy Seal Team. They are now part of an international network of people who share similar goals, mindsets and ambitions. We stay in touch over Facebook, e-mail or on private forums and constantly push each other along the path of personal evolution. We meet at various points in our travels for brief flashes of brilliance which forever alter and enrich each others paths and perspectives. I gave them the initial flame of perspective and they now create firestorms for themselves and others, positively everyone around them. There is not more a teacher could want from his students. What a whirlwind Project Rockstar was… 8 weeks of absolutely everything. I loved seeing Alex discover himself and have the realization that happiness was not to be found in women, but within. I was thrilled to be part of Aaron’s internal struggle to overcome his upbringing and social barriers. I was proud of Josh’s progress in self-awareness – particularly his facing of the paradoxes inherent within his beliefs about the way that a man should be in the world. I was touched to be part of Vishal’s moments of honesty about his social - 168 -

Epilogue

problems – particularly at the Rockstar Council, where he broke down and cried. It was his courage to be open that led him to becoming one of the most enlightened of all of us. I was proud of all of the Rockstars - my Rockstars - for facing their fears and breaking through in their own ways, on deep levels. In a lot of ways, I feel responsible for them. After Project Rockstar, they were more men than they were boys, more whole than they were incomplete. They were quite simply, better men. I’m glad that I could impart this gift to them, and hopefully too, in some small way, to you through the story of this book.

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The Rockstar Teachers   Mr. M - Jim has intensively studied social dynamics, using his own experience plus wisdom collected from sales professionals, dating and relationships advisers, evolutionary biologists, psychologists and the rapidly advancing field of neuroscience to break down what makes a person liked, respected and desired.   He charges men, from bond traders to sociologists to entrepreneurs, almost $3,000 each to hang out with him for a weekend and watch him seduce women, befriend men and generally dominate parties and club atmospheres. Jim is the driving force behind Social Circle Mastery, a strategy for social advancement that has been crafted over years. With help from his closest friends, he gleaned knowledge from hundreds of books ranging from psychology to selfhelp to neuroscience and biology texts to sex manuals. He and the others then practiced the theories for years, discarding the bits that didn’t work and adding their own original thought. He learned to carefully choose who would introduce him to new social circles because his value to the new group would depend at first on the status of the person who brought him in. He learned to identify social connectors, those in the best position to introduce him to new circles, and how to treat them. He learned how to coordinate with his friends to achieve common goals and how to set firm boundaries to safeguard his reputation. Vercetti – Vercetti, or Daniel, is a successful stage actor who has received rave reviews from national media in the UK.  Vercetti has focused the last several years on body language, dance, voice projection, facial expression and tailored - 170 -

Character Index

his findings not only to the stage but to social life as well. Vercetti was known as “The Ugly One” in his teen years. Shy and awkward, he was the “friend” who girls would recount their boy troubles too. Vercetti fought to break out of that shell. He succeeded.   Soul - Jeremy Bonney is Soul, probably the most admired and copied daytime pickup artist in the world. He specializes in meeting women on streets in London, New York, Los Angeles, and other major cities world wide. Jeremy organizes and conducts much of the training related to meeting and seducing women. Here’s a video of him on London streets: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRTSbvM8tBs

5.0 - Steve White is 5.0. He also works as a 3D visual effects animator, teaches Love System students about behavior and social dynamics at topend parties and clubs in London and New York. He introduces the students to the world of celebrity game, taking them to places including the membersonly Tramp Nightclub, the London hotspot for Hollywood A-listers and rock superstars. Here’s a video of Steve demonstrating day game to Mike Skinner - The Streets: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1S1tXazVK58

Jeff D’Arcy – Jeff, 43, is a real estate expert who started as a mentor, teaching the students to imitate his success in business. He quickly became a de facto student when he saw the training could cure his long-time curse. He had always used wealth to attract women and, as a result, attracted only gold diggers. He takes avidly to the training, hides his wealth, and becomes a successful pickup artist.

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Myths and Masters of the Game The Rockstars   Vishal Chagan – Vishal, the youngest student at 22, amassed a personal fortune founding the Miss Butterfly clothing brand at the age of 19. He owes much of his good fortune to the influence of his clothing magnate father, who he hero worships to the point of tattooing his image on his chest. At the outset of training, neither Vishal’s father, nor his employees, had any idea of the changes he sought. Vishal quickly became known as the student who would voice the thoughts that everybody else suppressed and the first to enter an argument. He learned to bare his emotions in a contagion that enraptured dozens of women.   Micha Genetay – The 6’ 4” Swede lived a life of wild parties and drugs until, five years before Rockstar, he ended up in a mental hospital and then three months of rehab. By the end of his training, he fell in love and renounced one night stands. A forklift driver in Norway before training, he finished as an internet marketer.   Aaron Panasbodi – Aaron’s penchant for hard work and endless hours of concentration in front of the computer earned him a very successful career in affiliate marketing, making about $60,000 a month. It left him awkward with women, unable to express emotions and forge close friendships. Throughout the training, he applied his skill at analysis and rational thought to relationships, with mixed success. An epiphany at the end – the one and only time he ever took drugs in his life - reveals what he has been missing all along.   Josh Votaw – Josh never met his father. He was raised by a mother and her friends and surrounded by strong feminist influences. He felt unmanly and tried to compensate by joining the U.S. Marine officer training program. When he was injured on the course, he learned of the dating program in London and won one of the six spots. Weeks in, the instructors found out he had a girlfriend in New York and had promised her fidelity. The instructors pressured him to leave his girlfriend or leave the training. He opted to continue his studies. About six weeks in, a night of boldness in difficult surroundings boosted his self-confidence and made him feel he discovered the missing piece.   Alex Fournel –When Alex, who created and sold six companies, started - 172 -

Character Index

the training, he immediately began to wonder why he was doing it at all. He felt it had no higher meaning and, throughout the training, maintained near impossibly high standards in women. Towards the end of the training, he fell in love overnight – with himself. The immediate changes to his energy, happiness and even body language were immediate and stunning. He is still, as he says, in love with himself and ecstatic with life.   Claude Genest – Claude, 46, has hosted an Emmy-nominated PBS series on sustainable living and rose to become deputy leader of the Green Party of Canada before embarking on the seduction training. Most of his romantic life, he was obsessed with a single women and found himself unable to sustain other relationships. The Montrealer resigned from the Green Party and sold his second home in Vermont to participate in the dating training.

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Myths and Masters of the Game

The Rockstar blog www.projectrockstarblog.com

Adam Brown’s Professional Blog www.adammacbrown.com

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