Merry Christmas, Baby

Merry Christmas Baby

Merry Christmas Baby By Dahlia Rose

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Dahlia Rose Merry Christmas Baby ISBN 978-1-936110-48-3 Copyright © December 2009, Dahlia Rose Cover art by Jordyn Tracy © December 2009 This is a work of fiction. All characters and events portrayed in this novel are fictitious or used fictitiously. All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof, in any form. Sugar and Spice Press North Carolina, USA www.sugarnspicepress.com

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Merry Christmas Baby

Prologue It was one of those days you where you wished you hadn‟t got out of bed. Not so easy to do when your bed was as a hard cot in a Fob thousands of miles away from home. Even harder when you were under orders to protect a country that didn‟t seem to want to be protected and fought you at every turn. But it was your job, your duty to fight for the innocent and go where your commanders told you to. When all you wanted was to be home. To sit and drink a cold beer and watch a sunset in a North Carolina mountains instead of the red glow of a bomb going off in the distance. You wanted to hear the call of crickets and night birds around your house and lake instead of sirens wailing in the night. But this was life in Iraq and First Lieutenant Noah Montgomery had seen it too many times. This was his fourth tour in this dessert hell. Each time he was redeployed it made him harder, angrier to see the loss of life around him, to see his friends get sent home in body bags or with missing limbs. He wanted out of the army, out of this place and just simple peace. If he made it out alive this time, his retirement papers could not be stop-lossed and he would be free. “This is a totally shitty night, Noah.” His best friend, Jason Coe, spoke up from beside him. “Who wants to be out on patrol when every fucking star seems to have gone out? It is freaky weird how dark it is tonight.” Noah kept his eyes trained through the night vision scope on his rifle. He was the sniper for this convoy as it went through the desert, blackened by nightfall. He made sure to keep an eye for any movement in the dry brush or deserted shacks as they passed. If anything moved, it would be dead. No hesitation, if you waited a millisecond it cost lives. “Noah, are you listening to me, man?” Jason voice held exasperation. “I heard you, Jase. The night‟s dark. Every night is dark in this fucking place,” Noah muttered, not taking his eyes away from his gun scope. “Yeah, but come on, you at least see a few goddamn stars or a fucking satellite in the sky,” Jason complained. “I want out of this hell hole.” “You and me and everyone else, Jase,” Noah replied. “At least you go home to Naomi so you have that to look forward to.”

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Dahlia Rose At the mention of his wife‟s name Jason‟s voice perked up with excitement. “Yeah, I can‟t wait. I‟ll be home four weeks before the baby is due, so I still get to rub Naomi‟s belly and talk to the baby before she comes.” “Don‟t scare the kid with your voice. Give her some peace in the womb,” Noah teased. His reward was a punch in the shoulder from Jason. “Aw man, you have to come visit us when we get back and see your goddaughter. She is going to be a beauty when she is born, just like her momma.” “You just try and keep me away, buddy.” Noah turned and threw a grin in Jason‟s direction, who smiled in return. A few seconds was all it took. A few seconds for the bomb to explode next to their Humvee. A few seconds for bullets to begin flying all around them and a few seconds for a look of surprise, then pain to cross Jason‟s face before Noah saw the blood begin to pour out of his chest. The Humvee stopped with a lurch. Noah began firing wildly outside the window while trying to staunch the flow of blood from his friend‟s body with the other hand. “Man down! Man down!” Noah could hear the terror in his own voice. No one was coming to help. They were pinned down and everyone was concentrating on keeping alive. Adrenaline kicked in from God knew where. Noah climbed over Jason and opened the door to the vehicle. Bullets whizzed around his head. He dragged Jason from the seat onto the desert sand. He pulled his gun out behind him and fired into the night. Not knowing if he hit anything, but screaming in anger, he pulled the trigger. Finally the shooting ceased, one well placed small rocket fired from a hand held rocket launcher took care of the assailants they could not see. The silence was almost as deafening as the sounds of war moments before. “Noah,” Jason voice, gasping for breath and choking on his own blood, came from the ground. Noah dropped his gun and hit the sand next to his friend. He ripped the vests and the uniform away, exposing a wound her knew could not be fixed. He tried anyway, pulling gauze from the pack as soldiers came to help him save his friend. “Don‟t worry, man. This is a scratch, just a scratch. We‟ll have you fixed up in no time,” Noah said. Jason laughed weakly. “This ain‟t no scratch, man. Don‟t lie to me, not now.”

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Merry Christmas Baby Noah looked at his friend. Tears pricked at his eyes but he answered honestly. “No, it‟s not a scratch, Jase.” “Listen man, I ain‟t afraid to go…just afraid of what I‟m leaving behind.” Noah watched tears leak from Jason‟s eyes. He clutched Noah‟s hand with a burst of strength. “Naomi and the baby, I never saw my baby girl. You have to promise me, Noah, you‟ll take care of them. Please take care of them for me. Promise me, man!” “Oh God!” Noah moaned watched his friend dying before his eyes. “I promise Jase, I promise.” “Thank you, you‟re the man, sniper.” Jason smiled weakly and the life drained from his eyes as his blood was soaked up by the thirsty desert sand. Noah sat back weakly as the medics pushed him aside, trying in desperation to save his friend in earnest. But he was gone and Noah knew it. He rode in silence in the back of the convoy, holding Jason‟s lifeless hand and staring numbly into the night that was so dark the road melted away into nothingness as they passed through.

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Dahlia Rose

Chapter One

The loud wailing of the baby woke Naomi up from a deep sleep. She moaned in protest as her husband‟s smiling face faded from view. The dream world was the only place she could see him anymore, to talk to him and tell him about their growing daughter. It was the dreams that had kept her going when the news came—Sergeant Jason Coe was dead. She had become a widow and a single mother even before the baby was born. She went through a funeral with only friends as comfort. She had gone through labor with her best friend at her side, instead of a proud daddy holding her hand. In her dreams he told her to move on, to let go and to love again for him. The pain had dulled to an ache in her chest but the loneliness that remained was sometimes more than she could bear. Another loud wail from the baby got her out of bed and into the baby‟s nursery with haste. If it was one thing about Natalie, when she wanted something she was as demanding as her father. “Oh, what‟s the matter with momma‟s pudding?” Naomi crooned as she picked up the little girl from her crib. The warm bundled dressed in pink pajamas sniffed and answered in garbled baby talk before rubbing her face against her mother‟s chest. Naomi laughed softly. “Hungry huh? Well I guess I can spare a few pints.” Actually, Naomi knew she could spare as much as Natalie needed. Her breasts were heavy with milk. She sat down in the plush rocker and put her baby to the breast. Natalie began nursing intently, making cute baby noises as she drank. She would be weaned off the breast soon and onto bottles, and Naomi already missed the bond she had formed just by breastfeeding her child. Naomi watched her daughter with love and stroked the short dark curls on her head. She was a baby made with love and Naomi saw her as a precious gift. She was the last piece of Jason she had. The baby was soon lulled back to sleep, and Naomi placed her back into her warm bed, covering her with a soft pink blanket that she had become attached to. With one more loving glance for her daughter, Naomi left the room bathed in a soft blue glow from a night light and walked downstairs to the kitchen. Four days before Christmas and she already had the house

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Merry Christmas Baby decorated. Well partially. She needed the tree. She wanted to make it special for Natalie‟s first Christmas but she still could feel the missing part of their family. In the kitchen she stared out the window above the sink into the cold night. North Carolina had been blessed with a cold winter and snow by Thanksgiving up in the mountains. The snow covered the ground outside her back door. She put the kettle on to make a cup of tea, knowing that sleep would not be forthcoming for a few hours. By the time she got back to bed the dawn would be breaking. From there she would have two hours or so to sleep before Natalie got up for breakfast. A loud knock on the door startled her. She almost dropped the mug she had grabbed from the cabinet. Three a.m. and a knock on her door in the darkness filled her heart with fear. Naomi moved slowly to the door, grabbing the baseball bat from its position beside it. She flipped open the security system panel on the wall next to the door, ready to press the alarm button if needed. In her head she ran through the precautionary plan she had implemented for being a woman living alone with a baby. Hit the button run upstairs to the baby’s room, lock us in and push the dresser against the door. Take the gun down from the safe in the closet. If anyone hits that door—shoot first and ask questions later. The knocking came again, louder this time. She slapped her hand over her mouth to stop the scream rising up her throat. She took a deep breath and tried to make her voice sound big and strong, even though she felt like a pussy cat who wanted to hide under the bed. “Who‟s there? What do you want?” “Ms. Coe, Naomi Coe?” The deep male voice sounded hollow through the door. “Yes, who‟s asking? I have a gun, and a big man in here with me, by the way,” Naomi responded. “Shouldn‟t the big man be holding the gun and talking to me instead?” The voice held humor. Naomi slapped her forehead. “Stupid!” she whispered to herself. “I‟m going to ask again before I call the cops—what do you want?” “I‟m Lieutenant Noah Montgomery. I met you once before we deployed over to Iraq, Jase is…um, was my... well, he was my best friend before he died.”

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Dahlia Rose The name formed a distant memory of a person Jason has spoken of fondly when they lived in Colorado. He had spoken of a buddy who had taken him under his wings and helped him out on many occasions—and bar fights. “I think I remember Jason mentioning you,” Naomi said through the door. “I was with him when he died.” The voice now held sadness. “I‟m sure you are you who say you are, Mr. Montgomery, but I‟m here alone with a baby and I can‟t very well let you in without proof.” “Entirely true, I don‟t blame you bit.” He went silent for a few seconds before speaking again. “Look out the peep hole. I think I have something that will prove I am who I say I am. I‟m sorry I have you up so late, I took the first flight from Colorado to Fort Bragg and then hired a car to come here.” Naomi rose up on her tip toes to look outside while he was speaking. With the light on she could see he was a tall man, still dressed in his army uniform. He was bent over a big green duffel bag, going through its contents. He stood, then turned back to the door. His face was striking, ruggedly handsome down to the dimple in his chin. The porch light caught the graying hair at his temples. It didn‟t define his age, it just made him more attractive. “Here‟s a picture of us at the FOB.” He held the picture up to the peephole. “We took it a few weeks after we got there and you sent him the box filled with candy and sweet tarts. The Snickers melted by the way, but it still tasted great after we had to refreeze them in the mess hall refrigerators.” Naomi smiled when the memory of Jason telling her about the melted chocolate in one of the first calls to her from Iraq. She looked at the picture he held up for her to see. She could clearly make out her husband with his arm thrown around a man taller than him. It was the soldier standing on her porch and he, in turn, was making bunny ears behind Jason‟s head in the picture. The grins on their faces spoke volumes and she could see the camaraderie of not just soldiers in arms, but friends as well. It hurt her heart to see Jason in all his glory, smiling like he used to. “Can you see it clearly? I can slide it under the door if you want.” Noah‟s voice held uncertainty. “I can see it,” Naomi replied. She felt tears clogging her throat and she hoped it didn‟t come across in her voice.

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Merry Christmas Baby “Maybe I should go and come back some other time. I didn‟t want to disturb you or make you uncomfortable in anyway. I just felt like I should come right away,” Noah explained in a rush. Naomi unlocked the door and opened it to the man who stood on her porch. The cold breeze that hit her legs under the pink and white bath robe she wore spoke to how cold it was. She instantly felt remorse at having left him outside for so long talking through the barrier. “I‟m so sorry. Noah, you said, right?” Naomi questioned. He nodded and gave her a small smile. “You come on inside. It‟s cold as hell out there and here I have you standing outside, turning you into a Popsicle.” “It‟s okay. You had to make sure.” “Come inside, please. Is that your duffle bag? Grab that too,” Naomi ordered. He stomped his shoes on the front mat, graciously not bringing snow onto her carpet. She stood aside and let him pass, immediately noticing how his big frame filled her living room and how much taller than her five-feet four inches he was. Naomi closed the door and watched how he stood uncomfortably in one place. “You can come further into the room, you know. I won‟t bite,” Naomi teased softly. “I know, ma‟am. I just don‟t want to get mud or anything across your floor. These boots have thick treads,” Noah explained. Jason always teased and had a grin on his face, regardless of being in his uniform. Noah seemed to be still on duty even though he stood in her doorway. “Here, sit on this and take them off.” She pushed a footstool closer to the door so he could sit. Usually Naomi wouldn‟t care but Natalie was at the age where she could scoot across the floor. She didn‟t want her to pick up stray pieces of dirt or rock salt and put them in her mouth. Noah sat down heavily and she could see the tired lines in his face. “You said you came straight here. When did you get sent home?” Naomi questioned as he unlaced the tall boots. “Five days ago. We got a convoy out and then had to stay in Germany until we got a flight. I got one to Colorado pretty quickly but then had to wait a day or so in the airport to get here,” Noah responded.

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Dahlia Rose Naomi looked at him in surprise. “You mean…didn‟t you have family waiting for you to come home?” The question was simple but it meant far more. She was trying to understand why a man who never met her would come all the way to North Carolina, instead of going to the people who loved and cared for him. “No family. It‟s just me, and I came because I lost my family in Iraq.” Noah looked up at her before he slid the boot off his foot. “Jason,” she surmised in a soft voice. “Jason,” he affirmed. “He was more like my brother than just a friend. When he moved to North Carolina to advance his career, I was so damn proud of him. When he met you he called me up and said I met the woman I‟m going to marry. It was such great luck our units combined when we were deployed. And I was coming home with him to meet you and the baby. She was going to be my god-daughter. Well, if you agreed,” Noah added in with haste. “He emailed me and told me that what his choice. I had no problem wit it in the least.” Naomi smiled. “He somehow didn‟t mention you were coming home with him.” Noah grinned. Naomi noted how it changed his features and lifted the sadness in his eyes just a bit when he smiled. “Typical Jason,” Noah murmured. “I get that you guys were best friends and you would want to pay your respects and all, but to come all they way here, especially on the holidays…why? Naomi prodded. Noah stared at her, his blue eyes piercing and full of emotion. “Jason made me promise I‟d come here to take care of you and the baby. I promised my bestfriend you wouldn‟t be alone. That‟s why I‟m here.” “Oh.” Naomi didn‟t know what else to say. They started at each other in silence which seemed to stretch into minutes. Jason had tried to send her a protector even in his final minutes of life. What were they supposed to do now?

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Merry Christmas Baby

Chapter Two Naomi broke the silence first. “I bet you‟re probably hungry.” “Honestly, if there was a bear walking past your door right now, he‟d be toast,” Noah said with a smile. It was true. Running from plane to plane trying to reach North Carolina, he had forgotten to eat. A cup of coffee and a bag of nuts on the plane had stopped holding him over awhile ago. Now his stomach complained in earnest as soon as she mentioned food. Naomi laughed. “I have leftovers from last night dinner. It‟s roast chicken, russet potatoes and asparagus. I can put some biscuits in the oven. Only if that‟s okay,” she added hastily. “I can make something else.” “No, ma‟am. After eating MRE‟s for four months, then in a mess hall for another four. Whatever is in your fridge works just fine for me.” “Well, follow me, Lieutenant.” Naomi went down the hallway and Noah followed in his socks. Her kitchen felt homey from the instant she turned on the light and he stepped inside. She had sunny yellow walls with paisley print curtains at the windows. There was a breakfast nook and a wrap-around counter with a few high, carved wood, stools around it. Next to the breakfast nook stood a pink highchair with brown bears dancing across the back. “Sit here. I‟ll get everything ready.” Naomi pointed to one of the high stools. She went over to the refrigerator and began pulling plastic containers out, one after the other. “Look at all this,” she said sheepishly as she worked. “I had family staying off and on since Jason died and I still haven‟t figured out how to cook for one just yet.” “You don‟t have to apologize, Naomi. I‟m in your kitchen and you are doing me a favor by feeding me,” Noah pointed out. She nodded as she put containers into the microwave one after the other and heated them up. She placed a plate in front of him, along with a knife and fork and some napkins. “What are your plans, Noah. Are you just on leave?” she asked as she spooned out portions of food onto his plate.

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Dahlia Rose “I have put in my retirement papers. After twenty years of this life, I think its time I settle down on US soil instead of being sent all over the world fighting wars that people don‟t want.” Noah took a bite of the dinner then dug in voraciously. “You seem bitter.” Naomi‟s voice was quiet. “I am a bit. I‟ve heard so many stories of soldiers coming back and not being treated fairly. Their bosses fired them for being activated to duty, even though it‟s against the law. Girlfriends throwing them to the curb for being hurt or coming back without a limb. Hell, the public acting like this is Vietnam allover again and putting down guys who just went over there and did their duty, their orders.” Noah put his fork down, his stomach churning with the thoughts going through his head. “My God, I lost my best friend over there and they wouldn‟t even give me a two week leave to come home and see him buried!” He sighed and rubbed his hand over his tired neck. “Don‟t get me wrong, I love my country, I love the military life. The bond and honor of brothers in arms and I‟ve lived it all my life. But yeah, I‟m bitter, Naomi. Jason died in my arms in a place where they hated us for trying to help them be free.” He looked up to see her staring at him wide-eyed with unshed tears shimmered in her eyes. Noah instantly felt remorse. He came to be her strength in any way she needed it and here he was spilling all his mental baggage on the floor. “God, I‟m so sorry, Naomi,” Noah apologized. “I shouldn‟t have just spewed all that I didn‟t mean to upset you.” Naomi wiped away a stray tear and gave him a watery smile. “It‟s not that, Noah. You didn‟t hurt me. I just see someone who actually feels as much grief as me about Jase‟s death. Family and friends, yeah, they feel sorry and they comfort you as much as they can. But no one understands other than someone else who loved him just as much. You loved him just as much as I did. It feels good, in a way, not be alone in my unhappiness. You know what I mean?” Noah nodded. He understood more than she knew. Every night when he went to sleep his dreams were filled with Jase‟s face smiling, then his face dying. His blood seeped through his fingers no matter how much he tried to staunch the flow. Every night, he tried to save his friend in his dreams but the outcome was always the same and the grief was almost too much to bear. “Finish your dinner, Noah,” Naomi commanded. “I‟m going to get the guest bedroom ready for you to sleep in.”

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Merry Christmas Baby Noah looked up at her in surprise. “You don‟t have to do that.” “Where were you going to go?” She asked pointedly. “I was going to head to a hotel or something,” Noah said. “I‟m sorry to tell you that in this town there is one bed and breakfast which is full for the holiday,” Naomi informed him. “There is no way I‟m going to let my husband‟s best friend stay in some dreg motel on the outskirts of town.” “I‟ve lived in worse places, trust me,” Noah said ruefully. “Maybe so, but I‟m insisting you spend Christmas with me and Natalie.” Noah saw the look of determination on her face and nodded. He knew it was useless to argue because Jason had told him of Naomi‟s legendary stubbornness. She pointed at the plate in front of him, a silent direction for him to begin eating. Noah obediently dug into the delicious food while she left the room. He took the time to appreciate the wonderful meal before him and the woman who prepared it. Naomi was breathtakingly beautiful but in such a simple way. With no make up and her dark brown locks pulled back into a pony tail, her skin chocolate skin seemed to glow under the fluorescent lights of her kitchen. Her soft brown eyes spoke of her kindness and held the sadness of her loss. Her full lips glistened, begging to be kissed. Whoa! Noah steered his thoughts way from her lips when kissing her crossed his mind. This was his best friend‟s widow and he felt instant remorse at his train of thought. He was here to make sure she was okay. See that she was receiving all her survivor benefits and that she and the baby would be set up for life. After that he didn‟t know where the road would take him. He just knew he had to do this for Jason if he was ever going to get a peaceful night‟s sleep again. “You all done?” The soft question came from the doorway of the kitchen. Noah laid his knife and fork across the plate neatly and stood. “Yes ma‟am, I am.” “You have to stop calling me „ma‟am‟, Noah. It makes me feel very, very old.” Naomi‟s voce held a hint of amusement. “Come on, I‟ll show you where everything is.” “Old habits, ma‟am. . . I mean, Naomi.” “I understand. It took six months for me to break Jason of that habit.” He followed her upstairs to the second floor and down a short hall with a door at the very end. She opened the door and ushered him to a spacious room with a big four poster bed.

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Dahlia Rose “This is a guest room?” he asked amazed. In his home in Oklahoma, his master bedroom was half the size of the room he was in now. “It kinda is now,” Naomi admitted. “We were going to make this out master bedroom when he had a bunch of kids. But with Natalie being so young, I moved into the room across from her nursery so I can hear her when she cries in the middle of the night.” “So you‟re not giving up your room?” Noah questioned. “No, I‟m down the hall. We never slept in this room.” Silent thoughts of things that could never be seemed to take her away from the present for a minute. Noah saw her give herself a little shake and she looked up at him with a smile that made him catch his breath. “Anyway, there is a bathroom through that door and I put fresh towels in there so you can clean up. I dragged your duffel bag in here. It‟s at the foot of the bed,” she informed him. Noah looked down to see the dusty cloth of his bag. He knew it was heavy and wondered how she got it up there by herself. As if sensing his thoughts she said, “I dragged it up here even though it felt like you were hauling bricks.” “You shouldn‟t have done that I could‟ve—” he began Naomi cut him off. “Yes, you could have, but I did it anyway. You‟re my guest.” She flexed invisible muscles making him grin. “I‟ve got more strength in me than it looks.” “I‟ll take your word for it,” he said, amused. “Now I‟m off to bed. Take your time getting up. Sleep in, if you like. Natalie gets up around seven so if you hear puttering around, it‟s just us,” Naomi said. “If were not here when you get up, we‟ve gone Christmas shopping.” “Naomi, thank you.” Noah couldn‟t help the huskiness that infused his tone. “You‟re family, Noah, so don‟t thank me,” she replied with gentleness. “Night.” “Goodnight,” he called after her as she closed the door gently behind her. He looked around before sitting with a heavy sigh on the bed. Thoughts swirled through his head until he couldn‟t stand it any longer and he went into the bathroom for the first hot shower he could take in weeks. The spray of hot water soothed the tired muscles in his back and melted away the knots in his shoulders. He turned off the water as drowsiness overtook him. He knew if he didn‟t get

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Merry Christmas Baby out from under the water, he would probably fall asleep in the tub. He dried himself quickly with the thick towels before donning an army t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants then falling into bed. Outside the window he could see the first light of the dawn breaking underneath the thick clouds, heavy with snowflakes. He watched with drowsy eyes as snow began fall gently. It was so different from the desert of Iraq or even the dry heat of Oklahoma. He couldn‟t go home to the starkness of his home. It reminded him to much of where he had been and what he wanted to forget. Now, as the snow began to fall faster and swirl with gusts of wind that took them flying, he fell asleep and hoped the dreams wouldn‟t plague him for just one night. **** The sound of a child‟s squeal and a woman‟s laughter woke him. He opened his eyes sleepily. Noah looked around, groggily trying to remember where he was. Jase’s house, his widow and baby. He looked over at a clock that stood on the bedside table. Eleven a.m. Another squeal erupted and Naomi‟s soft voice filtered from the hall way. He climbed out of bed, his body protesting with various aches and pains in his muscles. Noah stepped out into the hallway to see Naomi crouched down on the floor and a baby on her hands and knees a few feet away from her. The little girl was dressed in a little pink and white polka-dot dress with tights to match. Her curly hair was tousled and she looked up at her mother, giving her a toothless, drool-filled grin. “Come to mommy, Natalie. You can do it, baby girl,” Naomi coaxed Noah watched as the tiny baby girl tried to move forward on shaky legs only to fall forward and thump her face gently on the carpet. That small movement surprised her and the little mouth began to tremble and pout before a wail came out of those puckered-up lips. “Oh, sweetie, you‟re okay.” Naomi ran forward and scooped her daughter up quickly and cuddled her close to her chest. “You‟ll get it next time. Ssshhh, my foofanu.” Silly nicknames, but the scene playing out before him melted his heart. This was one thing being in the army never allotted him—the time to have family and children. Not that there weren‟t women in his life and chances to commit. But the job—his duty—always came first and by the time he came back, the interest was gone from both parties. “Is she okay?” Noah questioned. Naomi whirled around to face him and he saw a blush creep into her cheeks beneath her mocha complexion. “She‟s fine, um, how long have you been standing there?”

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Dahlia Rose “Long enough for Foofanu, fluffernutter and what was it? Oh yeah, sugar lump,” Noah teased. “Oh you! I‟ll have you know my daughter is made of sugar and she loves those names,” Naomi said primly. “I‟m sure she does.” Noah walked forward and stood in front of them. The little girl sucked on her thumb and stared at him intently. He felt as if he was being scrutinized by the smallest of people but it made it no less disconcerting. “She‟s absolutely gorgeous. Jase does good work.” Naomi snorted. “Yeah, he created this one all by himself. I had nothing to do with it, huh?” “I was about to say she has her mother‟s beauty,” Noah informed her. “Ahhhh, that buys you some breakfast,” Naomi replied. She took him by surprise when she asked, “Do you want to hold her?” “No—wait—” Noah began. But Naomi didn‟t give him much choice before she was placing the baby in his arms. “Do I have to support her head or something?” Naomi looked at him. “That‟s for newborns. She‟s six months old and can sit up. She hasn‟t mastered the crawling part yet but she‟s trying. Natalie, meet your Uncle Noah.” Big, beautiful brown eyes stared up at him as she sucked on two of her fingers. “She was just sucking her thumb, now these fingers,” Noah commented. “She does not discriminate against her appendages. They all taste good to her. Take her socks off and put her on the carpet, then it will be her toes,” Naomi explained. Noah laughed out loud and Natalie looked up at him curiously. She took those drooledcovered fingers out of her mouth, ran them down the bridge of his nose, then patted his cheek before giving him a big smile. It was then Noah fell in love with Natalie Coe, daughter of his best friend, and vowed to be the one she would call if she ever needed anything in her life.

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Merry Christmas Baby

Chapter Three

He was dog-tired. Emotionally, physically, and everything in between. Naomi could see it in his face and his eyes. In every smile, she could see him trying to hold it together, to be strong. In his eyes, she could see untold hurt and secrets he seemed to dare not tell. She knew he couldn‟t say anything about the turmoil swirling inside him. That was a military man—they were trained to hold it all in and never let it show. They had talked while she fed Natalie baby cereal and applesauce, then she made them big, thick sandwiches. Naomi caught herself looking away from his intense eyes more than once. There was something there that made her tingle and she didn‟t know if she liked it or not. After lunch, the baby had gone down for a nap and she had encouraged Noah to go lie down on the long sofa. She handed him the remote and he begun to flick through the channels. She hoped he would fall asleep and relax that tough exterior. He wanted to be a protector and somehow she felt as if he needed the protecting. Later they would go outside and help Natalie build her first snowman. She was excited to see how the baby would react to the cold, white flakes that covered the ground. She also wanted to see how Noah would react. He held the baby and she saw an instant spark of love in his eyes when he held her. But he still didn‟t know how to be around the small person in the house. It would be interesting to see him relax around the little girl. Naomi smiled as she came back through the living room with a load of laundry to take washer. The remote control was balanced on his chest and his hand hung down touching the carpet. His lips were slightly parted and his eyes were closed in sleep. She focused on his face, the slight stubble on the curve of his jaw. He looked as if he should be kissed awake. Oh no! She shook her head slightly. She shouldn‟t let her thoughts go there. She went about her tasks, started the washer, and then went back to cleaning up the remnants of their lunch and Natalie‟s messy highchair as quietly as possible. She was thinking about starting her illustration career and maybe building a home office for her work. A noise in the living room pulled her from her thoughts. A low moan that sounded like a man in pain stayed her hand from wiping the counter with a soft cloth.

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Dahlia Rose She walked to the door of the kitchen slowly and pushed the swinging door outward to stare at the man sleeping on her sofa. His head thrashed on the cushion. The hand that hand to the ground clenched and unclenched. As she stepped closer to him a tear slipped from the corner of his eye. “Jason, oh God, Jason!” he cried. “Get a fucking medic over here now!” Naomi made a small gasp and covered her mouth with trembling fingers. He was reliving the last moments with her husband in his dreams. “Gimme that gun. They killed my friend. They‟re all going to pay!” He snarled and sat up with open eyes but still not seeing. He shook his head and placed it in his hands. Noah broke down in a gut wrenching sob that tore at her heart. “Jase, man, you can‟t die okay? Think of Naomi and the baby. Hold on, man!” Those words made her tears flow, she wiped them away fiercely thinking back on all the literature and hand-outs she had read on soldiers with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. In a flashback, she was not supposed to wake him quickly, she was supposed to talk to him calmly until he came through on his own. So Naomi sat on the floor close to the sofa and began to talk. She talked about when she had Natalie or about the first time she had met Jason and what a comic he was. She made sure to call his name often so he would recognize she was talking to him. She touched his arm and he jumped up wildly. Don’t touch! She forgot the main rule and she scrambled back quickly. “Noah!” Her cry seemed to bring him back to reality and he sat down heavily on the couch. “Where am I, what did I do?” he kept repeating the words over and over again. Naomi took a chance and sat next to him. She wrapped her arms around his body only to feel him stiffen as if he was made of stone. “You‟re with me, Noah and you‟re safe. You‟re not there anymore and you didn‟t do anything wrong.” She rubbed his shoulder gently as she spoke. “You didn‟t do anything wrong.” He suddenly leaned against her and spoke through his tears. “You should hate me. I told him I‟d bring him home and I let him die. It‟s all my fault and you should hate me. I don‟t deserve to be here. I don‟t have anything and he had you and a baby. It should‟ve been me to die.”

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Merry Christmas Baby Naomi saw the extent of guilt he had over something that was not in his control. Survivor‟s guilt was tearing him up inside. “Oh, Noah,” Naomi whispered. “You can‟t say that. You tried your best to protect him. You didn‟t kill him. It was the war and as much as it hurt when he died, I knew he died in a job he loved. Fighting for me, his daughter and his country. Jason loved being a soldier and he knew—I knew—what might happen. It‟s not your fault. None of this is. We need to heal, Noah. You need to heal.” He broke down with deep, guttural sobs that wracked his body. She could feel his pain and her own tears began to fall. Together they grieved for a loved one lost. Noah lifted his head and looked at her. Through her own tears she offered him a smile and wiped his eyes with her fingertips. The air around them changed. Grief was still there but a new emotion bubbled its way to the surface. While she gazed at him, she forgot to breathe. The intensity of his eyes bored into her before his lips descended and captured hers in a kiss. Hot, sexy, powerful—all those words and more combined into that kiss. His mouth worked delicious magic that made her moan in pleasure. Goosebumps rose on her arms as a tingling sensations coursed through her. His tongue probed her mouth. Naomi accepted it with pleasure. He growled deep in his throat, fisting his hand in her hair. The kiss became its own animal as they devoured each other‟s lips. Naomi never felt heat like that. It pierced through her core and made her body pulse with excitement. He broke away suddenly and stood, running his hand through his hair and pacing the floor. “God, I‟m sorry Naomi. I‟m so sorry!” She raised fingers to lips that now tingled from his fierce kiss. “Noah…” “No, you don‟t have to say anything. I‟m wrong for doing it. It won‟t happen again.” Before she could say another word, he was up the stairs and gone from her sight. Naomi leaned back against the cushions of the sofa and let out a long sigh. Oh goodness gracious. She was in trouble. Somehow it felt great, and yet it filled her with fear. **** Noah paced the floor of the bedroom that Naomi had graciously let him say in. He sat on the bed and then got up again to pace unable to keep still. How could I do that? He wondered to himself but then his mind turned to the way she felt in his arms and how she returned his kiss. It felt so good and so right but she belonged to his best friend, and he couldn‟t betray his memory

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Dahlia Rose like that. The way she tasted flooded his thoughts. Like honey and some kind of fruit-flavored tea she had for lunch. He could feel his cock getting hard thinking of how she responded to his kiss. He wanted her and Noah realized that dealing with insurgents and being in a war was far easier than matters of the heart. A small cry came from down the hall. He got up when it came again, this time louder. Without hesitation, Noah opened the door and crossed the short hallway to the baby‟s nursery. It was decorated just like he thought it would be, little girl‟s frills in pink and soft, pretty colors. He walked over to the crib where Natalie lay and looked down at the little puckered face crying. As soon as she saw him her cries ceased and she looked up at him curiously. With a gummy grin she held up her hand to him. Noah couldn‟t help but pick her up. She smelled like baby powder and lotion. He now saw why people said a baby‟s smell should be packaged. It instantly brought a lull of peace over his body and he felt calm. “Hey baby girl, what‟s the fuss about?” He crooned while swaying back and forth with her in his arms. Natalie looked up at him and made baby noises as if she were responding to his question. It ended with a noise and a bunch of drool running down his chest. “So what does the prettiest little girl in the world want for Christmas, huh?” he asked. “Diamonds, a new car, or just the moon? You say the word and I‟ll go lasso it out of the sky for you.” In response she offered him her hands covered in drool. He kissed her tiny forehead and she grabbed his face with wet fingers. “Ew, that‟s kinda gross and appealing all at once. Actually I‟ve had worse in my face. Now you listen, little miss, no sharing kisses with any little boys or Uncle Noah will have to kill them.” Noah couldn‟t help the grin that crossed his face. How could he be serious with a baby dressed in clothes covered with giraffes, talking gibberish and smiling up at him? “She‟s certainly taken with you. Not everyone gets her baby lectures.” Naomi‟s voice came from the doorway and Noah felt his heart jump in his chest. “Well, she made valid points that I can‟t ignore,” Noah replied. She stepped into the room with a gentle smile on her face. “I say that all the time, Natalie here is going to be something special in the world.”

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Merry Christmas Baby “I‟m sure she will be.” Silence took center stage for few moments before Noah spoke again. “Naomi, about downstairs I want to—” “Apologize? You already did that more than once, Noah. Let‟s leave it at that.” Naomi took the baby from his arms and laid her down on the changing table. “I don‟t want you to think I came here to take advantage of you,” Noah explained. “I don‟t think that at all. We kissed—end of story.” Naomi spoke with her back to him while she changed the baby. “We can say it was the heat of the moment. It was a good kiss— well, great kiss—but I mean it‟s okay. I understand. You don‟t have to apologize anymore.” Noah nodded his affirmation, not knowing what else to say. „Great kiss‟ was not what he would call it. Explosive, molten…made him want to throw her down on the soft carpet and bury himself so deep… He mentally slapped himself for letting his thoughts travel that wayward path. She had every right to kick him out and call him a sorry son-of a-bitch. Instead, she let him off the hook graciously. “So are you in?” Noah felt a flush creep up his cheeks, knowing full well instead of listening to her he was thinking about other things. “In what and is it painful?” he teased. “It could be,” Naomi grinned and picked up the baby who was now dressed in a hot pink snow suit. “We are going to give Natalie her first snow expedition and you get to be our camera guy.” “I‟ll try to do the occasion justice.” Noah gave her a solemn salute. Naomi walked past him and winked. „Just try to get us both in the picture and I‟ll be okay.” While she went downstairs, he went to his room and grabbed his thick army coat. He was kind of sorry he didn‟t go home to pick up a few things but time would not allow it. She must be sick of seeing me in army t-shirts and pants. He took the stairs two at a time and headed out the door to the front yard. He stopped when he saw her sitting in the snow with Natalie between her legs and holding a handful of snow for the little girl to touch. Noah spied the digital camera on the top step and decided it was too beautiful a picture not to capture the moment. He got them in focus just as Naomi kissed the baby‟s soft cheek. The electronic click of the camera told him he

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Dahlia Rose had saved the picture for her and he had already mentally saved it to his memory. The next picture was of a snowball coming directly at the camera before it hit him in the head. Her laughter was infectious because baby Natalie squealed in delight at her mother‟s antics. From there the afternoon was full of pictures, small snowmen and snowballs flung when least expected. In about an hour she announced it was time to get the baby in from the cold and give her a warm bath and bottle. “Hey, do you mind if I borrow your car and head into town really quick?” Noah asked as they headed up to the front door. “I need to get something other than army t-shirts and sweats.” “Um the car seat is in my car,” Naomi replied. “but Jason‟s truck is in the garage. Do you mind using that?” “Are you sure?” Noah asked with hesitation. “I wish I‟d gone home and grabbed a few things and maybe rented a car at the airport.” “If you had we‟d never have had you here for the holidays.” Naomi‟s words were soft and when he looked at her she lowered her gaze. “They keys to the truck are in the bottom drawer of the hallway table. I‟m going to get this one upstairs and warmed up.” “Thanks, Naomi.” “You are most welcome, Noah.” By the time he got into the truck, let it warm up, and headed out the driveway, Noah knew he was in love. One kiss and like a bolt of lightning it had hit him as hard as the seventeen weeks in boot camp. It hit him as hard as losing Jason in Iraq. Naomi and Natalie were something special and it would break his heart to leave them. He couldn‟t come in and try to take the place of a good husband and father. He didn‟t deserve it. It was his fault that man was gone.

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Merry Christmas Baby

Chapter Four

He bought shoes in place of his army boots. Long sleeved polo shirts instead of t-shirts in army green and a few pairs of jeans instead of his ACU print military pants. Before leaving the store he couldn‟t resist a baby doll, rocking horse and a few other toys that screamed at him to buy them for Natalie. He loaded them all plus a six foot pre-lighted tree into the truck and was back on the road to Naomi‟s house in about an hour and a half. The day had already been chased away by the night and the cold wind cut his face while he drove with the windows down. He didn‟t want to roll the windows up to cut off the clean crisp air. He enjoyed every breath, preferring it to the smell of burning fuel, gun cleaning solution, the nasty smell of MRE‟s which was supposed to be their nourishment and soldiers in need of a bath which seemed permanently embedded in his nose. They were other smells he refused to let enter his thoughts because they would send him right to the edge of insanity. He was not there anymore and Noah wanted to erase it all from his memory. Unfortunately, it was not as easy as that to erase a place they deemed „hell‟ from his subconscious. He pulled into the driveway slowly, listening to the sound of the wheels crunching on the ice. He parked in the garage and carried his packages through the door that led directly into the kitchen. The house was silent. He walked up the stairs. Noah peeked into the baby‟s nursery and saw no one. He hesitated with his hand on her bedroom door before opening it and looking inside. Naomi lay on her bed and next to her the baby was bundled up in a blanket. Both were asleep. Noah closed the door just as quietly so as not to wake them. In his bedroom, he showered quickly and changed into his new clothes. He wanted to have the tree put together before Naomi got up as a nice surprise and a thank you for allowing him to stay. It was more than that but Noah pushed that aside, hoping he could keep his feelings at bay. Feeling more like a man instead of a solider he headed down the staircase and into the living room. He worked efficiently. He unpacked the tall tree and put its pieces together. By the time he plugged it into the wall socket, he could hear the voice of Naomi and the gurgles of Natalie. He had even arranged the pre-wrapped gifts for the baby under the artificial boughs. He stood next to the tree as her footsteps echoed on the stairs. He hoped his smile didn‟t look as uncertain as he felt, he wanted her to like his present.

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Dahlia Rose “Ta-da!” he said when she hit the final step. With the baby in her arms, she turned and gasped in delight. He could see it in her eyes. The excited squeals from the baby showed she liked the pretty lights, too. “Oh, Noah! Look what you did!” Naomi exclaimed. “Look at you, all dashing in your new duds.” Noah felt his face warming under her praise. “I figured it was the least I could do. I saw you didn‟t have your tree yet. I didn‟t know if you wanted a real or fake so I went with this.” “I was going to go with fake until she got older so she wouldn‟t get the pine needles in her mouth. I was going to go small but this is perfect. Thank you, Noah!” Naomi crossed the room quickly and stood next to him. He could smell her perfume she was so close. He wanted to reach out and pull her into his embrace but instead he took the baby from her arms. She was reaching chubby fingers to touch the lights. “I bought little bit here some presents, too,” he murmured. Naomi‟s gaze went to the boxes under the tree. “You didn‟t have to do that.” “What kind of godfather would I be if I didn‟t?” Noah pointed out. „Well after dinner, we‟ll decorate it with the stuff I have and you‟ll help.” Naomi looked up at him with those soft brown eyes and he felt his heart skip a beat. “That is unless Christmas decorating is not something you would be interested in?” Just like he had said to Natalie, if Naomi had asked him for the moon right at that point he would have given it to her. “I think I can be persuaded to join in the hanging of ornaments and tinsel.” Naomi plucked the baby from his arms and begun to walk to the kitchen. “No tinsel because little miss here puts everything in her mouth. But ornaments will be hung.” Dinner was filled with lively chatter from the baby, and from Noah and Naomi playing along. He had never felt anything as comfortable and peaceful as sharing a meal with mother and child. Saying nothing of importance at all but talking about everything from favorite colors to baby milestones. Noah knew he was being given a taste of something he thought he would never long for—a family. With a beer in hand and a half glass of wine for Naomi, they went to the task of decorating the Christmas tree. Naomi turned down the everyday lights and plugged in all the decorations she had already hung. She picked up a small remote and pressed a button. In an

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Merry Christmas Baby instant, the mellow songs of the holiday filled the air. Natalie sat on the floor in the midst of boxes as they hung all the new ornaments she had bought. Included were a pair of red booties and a special real globe covered in snowflakes with „Natalie‟ inscribed on its surface to commemorate baby‟s first Christmas. The baby conked out before they even got halfway through decorating the tree. Naomi took her upstairs to bed and came back down to help Noah finish up. Together they sat on the floor and admired their handy work. Each light twinkled merrily from between the green branches, catching the multicolored balls and making the tree glow. “This looks absolutely perfect.” Naomi took a sip from her wine glass. “As far as trees go, I don‟t think we did too badly,” Noah agreed. “What do you mean as far as trees go?” Naomi teased. “So I guess you‟ve had better out there in Oklahoma?” “Sorry to disappoint you but I never had a tree.” “You‟re kidding?” Her voice held amazement. “Not in all of your life? You never had a tree?” “In foster care, the tree is technically not yours and it‟s always been only me so I never saw the need for one.” Noah recalled the grimy tree that was pulled out in the home every year. He didn‟t look back at his childhood often. He was alone and then the army was his family until he met Jason. Then he had a brother. “I wish Jase was here to see all this.” He felt a stab of sadness. “I wish he was too, but I‟m glad you‟re here, Noah,” Naomi whispered. His hand rested on the plush carpet between them and she covered it with her own. “Thank you for sharing Christmas with us.” Their eyes met and Noah again lost himself in her gaze. It was like being pulled by a magnetic force and he couldn‟t stop himself if he tried. He watched her as their lips met, her eyes closed and she made a soft sound of pleasure that made his cock throb in his pants. Pulling her into his arms, Noah deepened the kiss until every nerve ending in his body screamed her name and begged to get closer to her. They broke the kiss and with lips just a breath away from each other, it was like sharing one breath. Forehead against forehead, Noah‟s hands buried into her hair, she purred and arched against him while he massaged her scalp.

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Dahlia Rose “I want you, Naomi. God, I want you even though I know it‟s wrong.” Noah moaned and then with a harsh whisper he said, “You feel so perfect in my arms, please push me away. Tell me to stop. Tell me you don‟t want this!” His mouth rained kisses down her neck before he sucked the soft skin at the base of her shoulder blade. “I can‟t!” she cried out. “Noah, don‟t stop. Make love to me. Make love to me!” A growl escaped his throat in surrender to the desire that raged through him. Their lips met again with such heat it could melt sand to glass. Clothes seem to melt away and Christmas lights danced across the mocha skin of her body in an erotic light show. Maybe it was the feeling of Christmas magic or the woman lying next to him on the carpet, but Noah felt as if he was in some kind of dream he didn‟t want to wake up. Naomi tasted of red wine when her tongue slipped inside his mouth. He couldn‟t help the moan of pleasure that escaped his lips. She was lying on top of him now and his hands moved from her hips to trace the sexy dip of her back. He ran his hands down her thighs, pulling her legs apart to straddle him. She gasped at the intimate connection. Noah was already hard and throbbing against the warm skin of her pussy. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pressed herself against his hardness. He groaned and he took control of the kiss, letting his fingers bury themselves in the thick tresses of her hair, devouring her lips. He tore his mouth away from her. “I have never wanted someone this much, this quickly.” She looked into his eyes. “Take me, then make me come for you.” Her hands roamed over the strong contours of shoulders. Her touch enflamed him as each caress was like fire against his skin. He filled his hands with the smooth globes of her breasts and watched as she arched into his palms. “They‟re heavy, still full of milk, and so fucking feminine. Do you know how pleasing this is to me?” he moaned as her buried his face between the twin mounds. “You like how my hands feel on you,” he murmured with assuredness in his voice. “The way I caress your skin and touch you like this.” “Oh, yes,” she whispered. His eyes widened in surprise as she pushed away from him. His cock was already hard when she settled herself on her knees between his legs. Noah watched her. Her hand ran down his body and caressed his chest, moving slowly to the part of his body that ached to be inside her.

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Merry Christmas Baby When she took his cock in her grasp and fondled him, his breath hissed out. Noah‟s hips moved each time she stroked his hard length. Their eyes connected and he knew she was watching pleasure cross his face from her touch alone. Her lips descended and wrapped around the head of his shaft and a low moan left his lips. Naomi took him deeper into her mouth and Noah thought he could die from the bliss her lips and hands were creating. He couldn‟t stand it any longer. He pulled her roughly against his chest and took her lips in a hunger-filled kiss. His hand slipped between their bodies to her pussy. He found her slick and moist and slid his two fingers deep inside her. Her body bucked against him and she cried out in pleasure. She sat up on his thighs and took his fingers deeper. He spread his legs so that her thighs were wider around his and he could watch himself use his fingers to please her. She was amazing and beautiful to watch as she took his ministrations. Her back was arched in enjoyment and her head leaned so far back until he could feel her hair caress his legs. “Ride my fingers darling,” he coaxed her softly. ”Take them deep, sweetheart. Oh yes, like that.” His thumb circled the sensitive nub of flesh in between the pink folds of her pussy. He watched her body rise and fall, the way her thighs clenched each time her body took his digits inside her. With every movement he watched her glistening wetness drip down his fingers. From parted lips tiny moans escaped, signaling her release. “I‟m going to come, Noah.” The way she said his name with that breathless whisper drove him wild. He pressed deeper inside her and used his other hand to pinch her upturned nipples sending her spiraling to orgasm. He did not wait for her to catch her breath. Watching her come built him to a frenzied state. The need to bury his cock inside her went beyond reason. He loved her. Maybe that was what made it more intense. He didn‟t know. All there was was Naomi, her taste, her smell, and the way she made him feel. Noah pulled her down on his waiting shaft and the feeling of her hot, slick pussy enclosing around his engorged cock wrung a harsh cry from his lips. The sheer pleasure of it almost sent him into his own orgasm. He gritted his teeth as Naomi began to move on her own accord. Her body writhed and slid down on his cock over and over again. He cupped the cheeks of her ass while she moved. He looked at her with her lips parted and her lids heavy with passion. She was in the throes of her own fervor and Noah could feel his own release rising. He grabbed her hips to still her movements.

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Dahlia Rose “Stop baby, stop just a minute,” he groaned out, his breathing harsh. Her body stilled but she trembled uncontrollably. “Noah, it‟s been so long. I can‟t—I need to move, to feel you. You are so thick I want more, please more.” “I want to make it last…” he tried to explain. ”…if you move I am going to lose control.” She leaned over and kissed him fiercely, her body beginning its sensual rhythm once again. “Don‟t fight it, Noah. Let‟s be lost together.” He couldn‟t say no. He thrust upwards to meet her body every time she moved. Their breathing echoed each other‟s while his fingers bit into the smooth skin of her chocolate thighs while he pounded inside her. “I need you now!” she cried out. Her body took up a frenzied pace. ”Come with me!” Her body clenched around him like a velvet glove and Noah felt his own orgasm begin. “Yes baby, I‟m with you!” His groan mixed with her cries of bliss as they went over that sensual edge. She fell against his chest and his arms automatically wrapped around her, cocooning her in his embrace. In the midst of the calming haze that their love making created, Noah felt the tug of guilt begin in his heart. He tried to push it back but the feeling prevailed. He had betrayed his best friend and the mission he had sent him on. **** “We have to go to bed,” Naomi said softly as she caressed his chest. She knew it was well after midnight even though she couldn‟t see the clock on the wall “I‟ll head up to my room,” Noah replied. “Why?” Naomi asked. “What I mean is—why not come to bed with me?” “I‟m not sure that‟s such a good idea.” Noah voice was hesitant. “That‟s your bed…yours and Jason‟s.” Naomi saw the uncertainty on his face, and the doubt. “He never slept in that bed with me. I mean by the time he got deployed, I was six months pregnant and we had boxes packed to move. Our friends moved me in and he never even got to come home to this house.” Naomi caressed his face. “I understand if you don‟t want to but I just need…I need to feel arms around me. I need to feel safe in your arms.” Noah nodded and held out his hands to her. When he pulled her to her feet, he swept her up and cradled her against his chest. She leaned her head against him and he carried her up the

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Merry Christmas Baby stairs. He laid her, still naked, against the cool, soft comforter before covering her body with his own and parting her lips gently with his kiss. Naomi arched her neck in pleasure and made a purring sound at his touch. He was fogging her thoughts with his lovemaking. “I thought we were going to sleep.” “We will…eventually,” he said against her neck. She moaned when his hand reached between them and rubbed her clit gently. She could feel his hard cock pressed against her thigh. She opened her legs wider to give him entry to her waiting pussy. He slipped inside her easily. He was so thick, filling her easily. His breath was harsh against her ear, making her shiver while he pushed himself deeper inside her. “Just a little more, sweet Naomi. I can‟t seem to get enough of you.” She was already locking her legs around his waist, her body rising to meet his cock. Her body arched and shuddered under him. “Yes, yes!” His lips roamed down her neck and even as he thrust inside her, he captured her nipple in his mouth, laving it with his tongue before suckling deeply. Naomi cried out as sensation after sensation ripped through her core. She‟d never known pleasure this intense in her life. She didn‟t ever want it to stop but she felt her release building inside her like a volcano ready to erupt. He was pounding so hard inside her now he drove her from one orgasm to another before he spilled his seed inside her. His moans of pleasure mingled with her own. It was a few minutes before they could even get under the blankets to warm their cooling skin. He pulled her into the crook of his arms and his large frame spooned around her body. Sated, Naomi felt her body float away into a sleepy state. She smiled when she heard his soft snore by her ear. Drifting off to sleep, she felt safe and contented. Naomi felt loved.

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Dahlia Rose

Chapter Five

Christmas Eve came in with more heavy snow. Noah woke up to the smells of baked goods wafting up the stairs. He could pick out the scent of cinnamon and nutmeg and he could also hear her humming. He could have lain under the thick covers and listened to the sounds of home forever. But instead his soldier mentality kicked in and he had to get up and do something productive. He would go chop wood for the fireplace or something to make Christmas special for both Naomi and Natalie. In his head, he felt as if they were his—but trying to vie for that spot was guilt. He smiled when he heard Naomi talking to the baby, and got out of bed quickly, not wanting to miss anything at all. If he had to he would cherish this time with them and make the memories last forever. Noah already knew he couldn‟t love any other woman. Oklahoma seemed like a lonely, desolate place even now when he thought about it. The peace and solitude that he thought he longed for when he lived there was no longer what he wanted. He dressed quickly and headed to the people who made him smile. The tree was still lit and his body tightened to a dull ache when he pictured them under the tree last night. In the kitchen, there was flour everywhere, cinnamon buns on the counter. Natalie sat in her high chair with a dusting of flour on her nose, shaking a plastic measuring spoon. Naomi stood close to her singing a Christmas tune with a catchy pop beat and bumping her hips to the rhythm. Noah was sure it was to entertain Natalie but instead he found the sight quite interesting and delectable— especially with the flour handprints on her tush. “Well, isn‟t this a sight?” he called over the music and the singing. Naomi danced over to him. “It‟s even better when you join in.” “I don‟t know, I‟ve never been one for dancing.” “We won‟t tell.” She bumped him with her hip. “Dance with us, sexy man.” Noah shrugged and figured what could it hurt. When he began to move it was hesitant and kind of stiff. Natalie squealed in delight from her high chair and it encouraged him some more. Soon he was gyrating just as much as Naomi, who was laughing outright at their antics. He certainly didn‟t know if he was a good or bad dancer but he did know the women he loved were having the time of their lives and so was he.

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Merry Christmas Baby “Oh goodness, I have to sit down,” Naomi said breathlessly and wiped the tears of mirth from her eyes. Natalie held up her hands to Noah who plucked her from the high chair and danced around with her under her mother‟s amused gaze. While he danced, Noah made kissing faces towards the baby and her mother, who threw a handful of flour at him in response. “So what kind of baking mayhem is this?” he asked as he glided around the floor with the baby in his arms. “Our first Christmas Eve tradition, mom and daughter baking,” Naomi explained “Kinda of messy for a bakery,” Noah commented “Well, if it wasn‟t messy, it wouldn‟t be fun, would it ?” “I‟m having the time of my life so yes.” “Good!” Naomi got up and put her hands around them both. “So now you can help us bake.” “Um, hands full of baby here. Can I be the official taste-tester?” he asked hopefully. “You want to taste, you must help bake,” Naomi announced. Noah pretended to grumble while he put the baby back into her high chair. “Fine. But I hope you know I get one of everything made in that oven.” “I‟ll rub your tummy when it aches later.” He gave her a salacious look and waggled his eyebrows at her. “I am hoping you‟ll want to rub something more.” She laughed. She went over to the counter and took up a hunk of dough. She plopped it in front of him on the table covered in flour, causing it to rise up like a dust storm. “Knead dough, boy.” The afternoon was spent with baking and preparing hams and getting a turkey ready for the oven. When Natalie was not napping she spent her time in the midst of activities to get ready for Christmas day. Naomi‟s face lit up as he helped her wrap present for the baby. He saw her wrapping technique and took over. Unless the baby was going to grow up thinking that wrapping was done to look like crumpled Christmas paper, he would have to wrap the gifts from now on. It made his heart thump wildly in his chest when he noticed he was thinking about being there for all those other Christmases. Should he even broach the subject to her? He shook his head remembering the grief on her face when she spoke about Jason that first night. She was still

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Dahlia Rose mourning her husband and he wouldn‟t dare intrude on that. „What if‟s still pressed at his thoughts through every smile and every laugh they shared. He wondered if he could ask for a forever with her. By the time night took over, the house held an air of excitement for Christmas morning. Noah himself felt that feeling of anticipation because this was the first ever holiday he would spend with someone he loved. They sat on the sofa with the baby between them and watched „How the Grinch Stole Christmas‟ and she introduced him to Spongebob Squarepants. “Okay, so I don‟t get this cartoon,” Noah commented as they watched. He bit into his fourth sugar cookie and took a sip of milk. “What don‟t you get?” Naomi asked. “Doesn‟t anyone ever wonder how the pineapple stays fresh under the sea?” She doubled over in laughter. He and the baby watched her laugh until she cried. “You‟re not kidding,” she said finally. “Honey, it‟s a cartoon!” “What happened to the days when Transformers and G.I Joe were what kids watched?” “Um, she‟s a girl. She likes SpongeBob and Dora the Explorer.” Noah moved Natalie to his lap. “Don‟t worry, sweetheart. I‟ll get you a Tonka truck.” The baby settled in his arms and popped her pacifier in her mouth. Soon her eyes began to droop and she was asleep. Noah didn‟t want to let her go. She was so warm in his arms and he knew she slept where she felt safe. Instead it was he who felt secure holding her. It made him feel like everything was okay, after all he had seen, all he had done that the world could still be filled with the love and innocence of a child. He placed his head against her soft curls and inhaled her baby scent. “I should put her to bed.” Naomi‟s voce was gentle. When he looked over at her he saw something glimmering in her eyes. “I could sit here and hold her forever,” Noah murmured. “You say that now. Wait until she is a teenager and raising hell.” Naomi brushed her finger across the soft baby curls where his lips were moments before. “She won‟t raise hell. She is going to be an angel.” “Uh-huh. I was a teenage girl once, sweetie. At sixteen, we go from being sweet to being kind of demonic.” “Oh, really? What were you up to, Miss Naomi?”

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Merry Christmas Baby “If I told you, I‟d have to kill you. Only my inner sanctum knows of my devilish behavior.” She gave her best wicked laugh. Noah pulled her to him and gave her a quick kiss. “Remember, I am a military man. I have interrogation tactics.” “Promises, promises,” Naomi replied and took the baby. He watched her walk up the stairs and he imagined her turning around and asking him to stay. Even as she went from his sight he still wanted to hear the words and see the love in her eyes that he felt for her. All he wanted her to do was ask him to stay and he would be hers for life without question. **** She laid the sleeping baby down in her crib and pulled the blanker over the small form. Naomi looked at her for the longest of moment but her mind was not there. Her thoughts were filled with Noah and the way he tasted, the way he kissed her, and the way he made her feel. She placed her fingers on her lips feeling the pressure of his mouth against her fade away and wishing it was there again. She knew her heart was telling her to hold on to him. She loved Jason, yes, but he was taken from her so early. Before they even got a chance to really have a life. Jason had made sure to tell her before he left no matter what happened that she should move on and not grieve for him forever. It was ominous then and many a night after she wondered if he knew his time was short. Was this a second chance at love? Do I dare take that leap? Looking at Noah and hearing his words, she could almost see it happening. She didn‟t want to assume. He had a life back in Oklahoma and who said he would want to be saddled with a widow and child? He loved Natalie, anyone could see that, but maybe all he wanted to be was Uncle Noah to the little girl who lost her daddy and his bestfriend. Naomi went back downstairs. Noah was sitting in the same position she left him in. His gaze was on the Christmas tree, looking into the lights as if he expected them to show him the answers in their illumination. She put herself between him and the tree and forcing his gaze up to her face. “Come to bed.” It was a simple request while she held out her hand to him. Noah took it willingly, without a word. Tonight, she wouldn‟t think any more about it. She would just feel. Hope was always there and miracles did happen. When she thought she would be alone, he knocked on her door at three in the morning. They stood facing each other, staring into the depths of each others eyes. Naomi could get lost in his gaze. He cupped her face

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Dahlia Rose gently and romanced her lips with kisses. He teased them until they parted and then sampled her like a fine wine. It didn‟t stay sweet for long, not between them. Heat flared up from the embers that never cooled and soon it changed from tender kisses to lips that devoured each other. “I want you, Noah,” she whispered. “Naomi…” he began. But her finger on his lips stopped his protest. Her lips replaced her fingers and she felt his open under hers. Noah gave a low moan and his hand slid around her waist pulling her to him and almost off her feet. The kiss turned wild and hot. Noah took over the onslaught of her mouth and she gave in willingly to please him. His need took over and Naomi accepted his hunger and his passion. He picked her up suddenly and her legs wrapped around his waist. Naomi gasped in shock and excitement. It thrilled her that his need for her was so intense. He stood there teasing her with his lips, the sound of the fabric of her shirt ripping, showing his need to fill his mouth with her breasts. “God, I need you so much. I need to feel myself inside you,” he said roughly. Naomi barely heard him as his hands pushed her bra aside and she pulled it off the rest of the way. Everything else was taken off in haste. He took her nipple in his mouth as soon as it was free from its confinement. Naomi‟s cry of pleasure fueled his need. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as he feasted on her. “Noah, more give me more,” she gasped out between unsteady breaths. The cold air against her skin make her shiver for just an instant but soon she was wrapped in Noah‟s strong arms on the bed. He kissed his way down her body to where she was wet and eager for his touch. His lips against her pussy, tasting her womanly nectar, made her writhe with the exquisite torture of it. His tongue licked her clit, slowly, torturously until she could not help but plead for more. “Oh God, please!” she cried out. Noah was not going to stop until he had his fill. The passion in him reveled in the taste and scent of her. He was in the desert for too long and like a man dying of thirst he needed to drink. Naomi‟s orgasm took hold of her instantly, she could only hold on to him and press herself to his lips as sensation after sensation rolled over her. Noah kissed his way back up her body until he reached her lips. She could taste her own feminine musk on him and it made her feel sexy and powerful.

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Merry Christmas Baby “Noah, I want you now,” she said between kisses. He said nothing. He pulled her to him roughly and wrapped her legs around his waist, driving himself deep inside her. His hand slipped under her, pulling her hips closer to him. “Is this what you want? Me inside you, making you moan?” Noah whispered in her ear. To hear him talking to her like this excited her all the more. “Yes Noah,” she gasped in ecstasy. “Take it all, love.” Noah groaned low in his throat. She called him „love‟ and that pushed him beyond reason. He filled her over and over again. The sound of two bodies, wet and slick, filled the room. She could feel herself going to the precipice of reality. She wanted him there with her. “Noah I‟m going to…please come with me,” she cried out. “Yes baby, I‟m with you,” he moaned against her ear. The orgasm that hit them both took their breath away. Naomi opened her eyes to see Noah‟s body rigid with pleasure with as he came. He fell against her and their breathing was the only sound that filled the room. “Is this heaven?” she asked. She was no innocent when it came to sex, but this level of intensity was new to her. “Uh-huh. If you‟re there, I‟m there too, babe.” His reply was muffled into the pillow by her head. “Are you okay?” she asked moments later when he was silent for a bit. “Are you asleep?” “I was contemplating going downstairs for a cinnamon bun and more milk,” he admitted. “You‟re going to get a tummy ache.” She giggled before kissing his neck. “Remember you said you would rub it for me until I felt better.” That was his gentle reminder. “So I did,” Naomi murmured. She could now see she wanted to be the one to take care of him—forever if he would let her.

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Dahlia Rose

Chapter Six

That night while she slept he got into the truck and went into town. Luckily there was always one store open for last minute shopping. Wal-Mart was his saving grace as he perused the counters looking for a gift for Naomi. He mentally smacked himself more than once for not picking out a gift for her when he bought his clothes and the gifts for Natalie. He would have had more time to shop but he wasn‟t expecting to be in love in only a few days. He couldn‟t let Christmas pass by without giving her something, anything, to show her he cared. Finally he spied what he wanted. It was simple but exquisitely beautiful just like Naomi. Then he found something else. Instead of worrying to death over which one to pick, he bought them both. He headed out of the store back to the house and the inviting warmth of her body that was waiting for him. Tomorrow he would ask her if he could stay, explain his point of view before he lost his courage. There was nothing he wanted more than to be part of their lives. He parked the truck and snuck into the house. There was some holiday paper left and he expertly wrapped her gift. He even used some ribbon she had left over and crafted the bow himself. She deserved to be surprised in the morning. For all that she had been through and the strength she had shown he wanted her to be happy. He climbed back into bed and cuddled up next to her. Holding her close, he kissed her neck. “You‟re cold.” Her hands rubbed his thighs with sleepy affection. “I forgot to bring in some firewood for tomorrow morning,” he explained. “You didn‟t have to do that.” “I know. I wanted to.” “‟Kay,” she whispered and went right back to sleep. Noah kissed her hair before settling back onto the pillows next to her. Sleep came quickly and so did his dreams that took him back to the place he would rather forget. The desert was hot, even though it was the middle of the night. The smell was all around him again, death, blood and burnt fuel. He was outside the humvee, the oil fires casting an ominous glow into the night. His uniform felt strange on his skin. He longed to wake up from the dream. Looking around he saw a figure walking towards him out of the darkness. As the person came closer, he recognized the

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Merry Christmas Baby face of Jason, not bloody or bruised but clean-shaven and a smile was on his face. He wore his dress blues, his medals and pins proudly adorning the left side of his chest. This was a dream but to Noah it still felt so real. He clenched and unclenched his hands at his side not knowing what to do. “Dude, are you just going to stand there or gimme a hug?” Jason asked. Noah surged forward and grabbed his friend to him. “Jase man, I know this isn‟t real but damn—” His voice choked, unable to get anymore words out. “It‟s as real as it‟s ever going to be, Noah,” Jason replied and pulled away. “You look good man, older though. Are you getting enough ginseng?” Noah wiped the tears from his face and laughed. “Fucking crazy. This is the first time I ever see you in a dream and you ask about vitamins.” Jason spread his arms wide. “Hey, now I have to make sure the guy who‟s going to be raising my daughter stays healthy.” His words stopped Noah cold. “What do you mean?” “Seriously dude, I know you love Natalie. I know you love them both.” Jason casually leaned against the humvee. “I might be dead but I was not going anywhere until I knew they were taken care of.” “You didn‟t see the uh…” “Yeah. TMI, buddy. I don‟t wanna know just as long as you make her happy,” Jason replied. “God Jase, it should be you there now. I mean I have zip to hold on to. Why you and not me?” Noah asked. “The way I see it, it‟s exactly as you said buddy. You didn‟t have nothing,” Jason explained. “I lived and I loved and by God, Naomi loved the hell outta me. But in the end, Noah, I had more in one lifetime than you‟ve had in yours.” He patted Noah on the shoulder. “I have no clue why, but all I know is it wasn‟t your fault and you can‟t keep living like me dying is your burden to bear. It is what it is, man.” “Jase, but Naomi…what do I tell her?” Noah questioned. “Tell her you love her, idiot. Tell her you want to marry her and raise Natalie,” Jason ordered. “All I ask is that you don‟t let my baby girl forget about me.” “As if I ever would,” Noah replied. “You‟re my brother. I love you, man.”

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Dahlia Rose “Brothers forever,” Jason agreed. “Anything I should tell Naomi?” Noah asked. Jason started to move back into the darkness. “No. We said our goodbyes. It was you, buddy, who needed to let go. Love ya, man!” “Same here!” Noah called as the darkness swallowed his friend once again. He woke up with tears on his pillow and a lighter feeling in his heart. He knew within himself that was Jason‟s way of giving his blessing. Naomi rolled over in her sleep and faced him, her eyes still closed and her breathing even. Noah kissed her with tenderness and all the love he felt in his heart. Her eyes opened to meet his gaze and they stared at each other for endless moments. He could see the question in her gaze but he didn‟t want to reveal the answers she sought quite yet. Instead, he pulled her close and began the slow tantalizing dance of waking her body to his lovemaking. “What‟s wrong?” she asked when the kissed ended. “Nothing, nothing at all. I just like looking at you,” he whispered. His lips left little kisses across the smooth surface of her breasts before taking one of the nipples in his mouth. Naomi gasped and clasped his head to her. It made her body shudder while his hands roamed over her skin. He shifted his attention to its twin and his hand went between her legs, caressing her already wet mound. A low moan escaped her lips when his thumb rubbed against her clit. He slid one long finger inside her. Naomi‟s head fell back in pleasure. “You are so tight, love. I can feel your body clenching around my finger. Yes, that‟s it baby. Spread your legs. Take more,” Noah coaxed. When he slipped another finger inside her, Noah felt her body shudder and she pressed herself wildly against this hand. “ I‟m going to come.” Her words were almost like a plea, as if she was begging for release. “Yes, you are. I feel you trembling. Come for me, baby.” Noah took her nipple between his lips once again and sucked it deeply into his mouth. All the while he used his fingers to manipulate and tease her silky, wet pussy. She came apart in his arms, crying out and trembling in the midst of her orgasm. Her womanhood flowed around his fingers and she was left gasping for breath. He covered her body with his own and slipped his hard cock inside her. He could still feel the velvety walls of her pussy quaking from her release and it almost sent him over the edge.

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Merry Christmas Baby He lifted her legs high around his waist and Naomi locked them around his back tight. They moved together, taking them both to heights of passion. Their bodies moved sensually, finding the rhythm of pleasure. Noah flipped her over suddenly so she was riding his cock. She moved her hips, letting her body slide down on him, slow and torturous each time, until he could not hold back his moan. Noah watched as erotic emotions played across her face with every thrust of his body. He pulled her down hard against the waiting cock and the rhythm built to a frenzy. She arched her back and cried out as her orgasm took hold. He followed suit and buried himself to hilt into her pussy while his body was tight with his own release. She collapsed against him. Their breathing was ragged as he slid her next to him and pulled her close once more. No words were said as their sated bodies rested. Morning would come and Noah would declare all then. **** Delighted squeals filled the house as Natalie opened her gifts, the bright colors of toys and dolls amazing her. But sometimes she seemed more enthralled with the wrapping, bows, and boxes that once held her new toys. Noah put the rocking horse together and his large hands held her securely while she rocked back and forth. Naomi watched the scene as he played with Natalie. The joy on her daughter‟s face was everything she ever wanted in a first Christmas. What was in her heart made it twice as blessed. “Okay, now mommy has to open hers,” Noah said to Natalie when he lifted her off the rocking horse. “Wait…what?” Naomi asked with surprise. Noah went on talking to the baby. “If mommy had noticed, there are two extra boxes under the tree that were not there last night. Naomi looked over and sure enough they were two boxes, expertly wrapped with Noah‟s special touch, waiting for her. “When did these get put here, I wonder?” Naomi tapped a finger against her chin. “Maybe Santa came down the chimney,” Noah teased. “Maybe Noah was a big faker when he said he went outside for firewood.” He laughed out loud which made Naomi‟s eyes widen in surprise. He seemed lighter. His eyes did not hold so much soberness. She could swear she saw a twinkle in their blue depths. Christmas held magic and it seemed to have worked on Noah.

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Dahlia Rose Without pretense, Naomi ripped into the first package and pulled out a tall, carousel snow globe. When she wound the key, it played the song „All the Pretty Horses‟ while the carousel inside turned. It was beautiful. Naomi‟s eyes misted up with tears. “Don‟t do that yet. Open the second one,” Noah prompted. He sat with Natalie cradled in his lap. Naomi noticed how she rubbed her eyes sleepily before crawling away to inspect some more boxes and wrapping paper. She was up early and the excitement of the morning was already taking its toll. She knew her baby would be down for a nap very soon. Turning her attention back to her second gift, Naomi took the paper off with quick efficiency. This was a smaller box and inside was a pair of silver bracelets. “Noah this is…you shouldn‟t have,” she whispered. “I figured the carousel would be a keepsake for you and Natalie as she grew up and the bracelets could be engraved with your names.” Noah sat closer to her. “They‟re both perfect. You‟re perfect!” Naomi clasped his face in her hands and kissed him. “I want to ask you something,” Noah began. “You let me into your home and into your lives, Naomi, now I can‟t see myself not a part of it. Losing Jason was so hard on you and it was on me, too. But somehow I think he sent me to you so we all could be together as a family.” He took a deep breath and Naomi waited expectantly for him to finish. “I want to stay with you, to help you raise Natalie, and to take care of you.” “Why?” The question thrilled her but Naomi needed to know it was for more than duty and to honor a friend. “I thought you could see it. I love you, I love Natalie. The both of you are what have been missing from my life for the longest of times,” Noah confessed. “I know it‟s been only a few days but I can date you or whatever until you figure out if you feel the same way, too.” “Idiot,” Naomi stated. “Why do people keep calling me that?‟ Noah wondered in exasperation. “Huh?” Naomi questioned. “Never mind. Why am I an idiot?” “Because I love you, too, and if you hadn‟t been to bull-headed enough to ask to stay, I would have asked you to do the same thing,” Naomi explained. “You made our Christmas one to

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Merry Christmas Baby remember. Natalie already loves you, and so do I. Yes, Noah, please stay, and let us be your family.” Noah crushed Naomi in his arms and whispered in her ear, “Merry Christmas baby.” With a heart bursting with love, Naomi echoed the same. “Merry Christmas, Noah.” They sealed their new love with a fiery kiss that left them both breathless and, with a baby who had fallen asleep in the disarray of wrapping paper and holiday bows, a new family was built from the ashes of another.

The End

To all the soldiers serving away from home this holiday season. We will keep the home lights burning until your safe return You are never far from our heart or our thoughts…

May this holiday season bring family joys that erase sorrows And a new year with hope renewed.

Merry Christmas from Dahlia Rose and her family To you and yours….XOXO

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Dahlia Rose

Sugar and Spice Press Where romance is everything nice. www.SugarNSpicePress.com

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