Lords of Kellesborne

LORDS OF KELLESBORNE …Keiran kissed his lover again, then turned Gaige and pushed him against one of the massive tree t...

Author: Rhodes M L

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LORDS OF KELLESBORNE …Keiran kissed his lover again, then turned Gaige and pushed him against one of the massive tree trunks, lust and love spiraling at his deepest core, driving him beyond all need for civility. Gaige anchored his hands on it without question and spread his legs as best he could with his pants around his thighs. Keiran pushed his lover’s cloak to the side, exposing the pale flesh of his ass. The sight, intimate and sexy, only fueled the fire burning in Keiran. He stroked the muscular globes, eliciting grunts of appreciation from Gaige that were obvious pleasure, not pain. When he slid a finger along his crease and pressed the tip against the tight ring of muscle, the grunts grew breathless and pleading. The sounds, erotic as hel, almost undid him—his cock wept in response, wanting to be buried in that welcoming hole. But first things first… He dropped to his knees and pressed his face against the cool, damp skin. With a sense of urgency, he kissed and licked over each of the bold red welts, the thin, raised, angry cuts, and the yellowish-green bruises that marred what should have been smooth perfection. It took all his control to keep his fury at Byram, the fucking evil bastard, under a tight leash. Instead, he directed that energy at covering every mark with his own more intimate attention. Gaige made soft moaning noises in the back of his throat as Keiran worked, but didn’t move, as if

he needed this as much as Keiran did. Never again would anyone touch his mate but him, Keiran thought fiercely. Never again…

ALSO BY M. L. RHODES After Hours Always The Bodyguard The Bounty Hunter Couplings Falling Hearts & Bones Heat Magic Masks Never Let Go Night Shadows Out of My Mind The Professor’s Secret Passion Souls Deep Take It On Faith True Of Heart Well Hung

LORDS OF KELLESBORNE BY M. L. RHODES

AMBER QUILL PRESS, LLC http://www.AmberQuill.com

LORDS OF KELLESBORNE AN AMBER QUILL PRESS BOOK This book is a work of fiction. All names, characters, locations, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination, or have been used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, locales, or events is entirely coincidental. Amber Quill Press, LLC http://www.AmberQuill.com All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be transmitted or reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher, with the exception of brief excerpts used for the purposes of review. Copyright © 2008 by M. L. Rhodes ISBN 978-1-60272-184-5 Cover Art © 2008 Trace Edward Zaber

Layout and Formatting provided by: Elemental Alchemy

PUBLISHED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

LORDS OF KELLESBORNE

PROLOGUE

100 years ago Byram, high sorcerer and self-proclaimed ruler of Velensperia, stood with his most trusted captain at the crest of the hill overlooking the charred remains of the draegan village below. The location for the first strike in his war had not been chosen at random. It was the misfortune of the village, called Ilyrie, that the reigning draegan lord and accompanying entourage had been traveling through the northern lands and had chosen to stay the night here. Though in the end it mattered little, since the village would have fallen regardless, 1


as Byram’s troops struck hard and fast at every draegan town in the realm. With the death of the draegan leader and all the members of the draegan high council, the draegans’ infrastructure was already in shambles. In another few hours, the entire great race who’d lived in and flown over Velensperia for millennia would be reduced to a scant few prisoners under Byram’s control. In the first pale light of the winter dawn, gray wisps of smoke still curled toward the sky, like forsaken ghosts seeking a celestial heaven that didn’t exist. Not unlike the magnificent creatures his army had just slain, Byram thought with satisfaction. Creatures whose souls also no doubt wended their way heavenward on the same foolish quest…a search for the peace and sanctity of the afterlife. Byram didn’t believe in such nonsense. What mattered was life here and now, in this existence…and making sure it was as long and powerful and profitable as possible. “A pity,” he said. “My lord?” “The draegans are a beautiful race, both in their winged and human forms. A pity to have to do away with them. But like the dispatching of Velensperia’s unimaginative former king, eliminating the draegans is a necessary exercise, done for the greater good.” He pushed back the hood of his heavy velvet cloak so he could better see the handiwork of his troops in the gray morning light. “Always remember, my friend, that there is nothing more 2


important than preserving one’s position. The death of the draegan race will ensure my own longevity. A hundred years from now—two hundred!—I will still rule these lands and all the beings in it. All will bow to me, and I will be the most powerful ruler Velensperia has ever known. None will dare to cross me, and, in time, the farthest reaches of this world will also be in my hands.” “It is possible some of the draegans could escape our raiding parties, my lord. Shall I send out assassins to hunt those who’ve evaded our troops?” Byram studied the smoldering village below him and narrowed his obsidian gaze. “Yes.” He stroked his meticulously neat beard. “Yes, indeed. Though they’ve been peaceful for the past centuries, the draegans can be fierce foes if crossed. I cannot risk leaving any alive to rally against me. If they were to realize the truth, their retribution would be swift and deadly. I won’t allow that to happen. Only a handful of the healthiest breeding females and the youngest children are to be taken alive. Have them transported to the facilities in the outer realms as planned. Kill the rest.” “As you wish, my lord.” The captain bowed his head, his long, pale blond hair blowing in the cold dawn breeze. Byram smiled at the sight and cupped a hand under the man’s strong, elegant chin, tipping his face up. “You’ll be well rewarded for your loyalty and service, Captain Rizik.” The ice-blue orbs glittered with pleasure…and a flare of raw desire. “My only wish is to please you, my lord.” “Oh, and you do,” Byram murmured, stroking his thumb 3


along the pale, stubbled skin of the man’s jaw, then dragging it over his full lips. “You certainly do.” He pulled the captain’s tall, powerful body against him and crushed the chilled lips with his own, driving his tongue into the depths of the other man’s mouth, stroking, thrusting, biting until he tasted the sharp tang of blood. The man’s eager, lecherous growl sent powerful bursts of heat pumping through Byram’s veins and into his cock. He reveled in the knowledge that he owned this man, not only on the battlefield, but also in his bed chamber. The blondhaired beauty had caught his eye some two years past, and Byram had known he’d have the man in his bed by nightfall. The captain had not disappointed him and, mere human though he was, he had, in fact, surpassed Byram’s wildest dreams. The captain belonged to him now, body and soul, having sworn a sacred blood-magick oath to that effect the very first night. But in addition to the man’s freely given loyalty, Byram took singular delight in the fact he could touch and torture and fuck him in any way he saw fit, at any time he saw fit, and never receive a protest in return. Everard Rizik’s appetites— both his hunger for power and his boundless and carnal physical cravings—matched his own on every level, fulfilling Byram in a way no one else ever had or could—though he’d never tell the man as much. It wasn’t healthy to give a subject that kind of power over one’s self. Still, when the time was right, Byram would indeed reward him for his many talents. Soon he would promote the man to 4


the rank of general. Then, when he completed the ritual that would guarantee his own long life, he’d include his lover as well. Everard Rizik would never leave him, never betray him. And together they would surge over the lands of Velensperia and devour any being that stood in their path.

5


CHAPTER 1

Present day Ethereal light from the two sister moons, Halla and Ell, shone through the enormous window, flooding the lord’s chamber of the ancient draegan stronghold of Kellesborne. It crept into every corner and glistened off the polished stone floor, chasing away shadows and leaving the room bathed in a silver-gold glow. Keiran Hareldson, leader of the hardscrabble remnants of the draegan people, stood lost in thought, gazing out at the autumn night without really seeing it. Though exhaustion weighted him down, and he ached 6


from the wound he’d taken in the chest the previous morning from General Rizik’s sword, he couldn’t rest or even close his eyes. Each time he’d tried, concern for his people, and especially for his mate, ate at him until he thought he’d lose his mind. So here he’d stood for long hours, sometimes pacing, sometimes staring out at the valley floor far below the mountain, and always listening to every nuance of his mate’s distressed breathing, feeling each agony and pain his mate suffered deep within his own body and soul. Keiran had done everything he could for him, including praying to gods he’d thought he’d given up on, and knew it was now a waiting game. But the waiting and watching, the ragged guilt he hadn’t done enough, that he’d let this happen in the first place, and the fear that he might never see those blue eyes he so loved open again, were all an agonizing form of torment. He’d come to Kellesborne days ago, seeking a measure of peace inside its great stone walls that, for Keiran, still echoed with the spirits and strength of the draegan lords of old. And for one brief night he’d found it—or at least he’d wanted to believe he had. But it had been short-lived, and so much had happened since then it felt as if weeks had passed rather than days. Based on recent events, Keiran knew another war with High Sorcerer Byram was imminent. Up until now, his band of draegans had led raids against Byram’s hoarded foodstores and livestock, seeking to feed the draegans and humans of Velensperia who had long gone hungry while Byram and his 7


soldiers dined on the finest meals and drank the best ales and wines. If the raids had also proven to be a pain in the high sorcerer’s backside, then that had been all the better. But the intent had merely been to take back the bare basics needed for survival, the basics too long denied the common folk since Byram had taken control of the land a century ago. All that had changed, though, after Gaige’s arrival. Gaige Rizik, captain of Byram’s High Guard—the elite force that protected the high sorcerer and his fortress at Thrythgar—son of General Everard Rizik, and otherwise known to all of Velensperia as the White Panther for the white-blond hair he’d inherited from his father, and the way he stalked his prey with cold, lethal skill. The White Panther, like his father and the high sorcerer himself, had, for years, struck fear in the peoples of Velensperia. His last assignment had been to secretly infiltrate the main draegan encampment, find the leader of the so-called draegan “rebels,” bring his head to Byram, and burn the camp to the ground, along with all its draegan and humansympathizer inhabitants. But the one thing Byram and General Rizik hadn’t counted on was that buried deep beneath the White Panther’s icy, aloof veneer, which he wore like a protective armor against the sorcerer’s and his father’s dictatorial control, was a heart. A heart that beat steady and true and, when finally freed from the confines of Byram’s and the general’s heavy-handed rule, held a shocking wealth of compassion. It had been Gaige’s compassion that had first caught 8


Keiran’s eye, well before he’d realized who the stranger in camp really was. It had been his compassion that had caused Keiran to offer the man his trust. A trust that could have been used with ease against Keiran and his people. Gaige had had ample opportunity to betray Keiran and the draegans to the high sorcerer—which was the job Byram had given him to do. And yet he hadn’t. Not even in Byram’s dungeon under torture had Gaige given up the draegans’ secrets. He’d suffered so much—too much, Keiran thought, with a sick ache in his gut. The price Gaige had paid for betraying the sorcerer had been high. Keiran just prayed it hadn’t been too high. And now, with their escape from Thrythgar happening the way it had, with Keiran not only having to take winged form, but being forced to reveal his true nature in order to get them out alive, Byram had already, no doubt, put two and two together. His anger that a firebreather still lived would be swift and fierce. Especially given the added blows Keiran and Gaige had landed—they’d stolen Byram’s grimoire, and Gaige had killed General Rizik. The high sorcerer would be obsessed with once and for all destroying every last draegan in Velensperia. The time for raids was over. Full-fledged war was upon them, and the weight of his people’s lives, their very right to exist, lay heavily on Keiran’s shoulders. The sound of restless stirring and a soft, pained moan sent a frisson of worry through him and caused him to turn away from the window to study the huge, silver and blue draped bed 9


in the center of the massive room. It was followed by another that sounded as if it had been scratched past a raw throat. He crossed to the bed and sank onto the edge of it, reaching out to brush long, silken strands of pale blond hair off the forehead and sculpted cheekbones of the man who lay twisted in the sheets. The poison that had invaded Gaige’s body had had hours to take root before Keiran had even realized what had happened. And he knew it would be hours before the herbs he’d applied to the wound would counter it…if he hadn’t been too late. After everything Gaige had been through over the past days, after the things Byram had done to him… Gods, please, I can’t lose him now. Keiran plucked the damp, cool cloth out of the basin next to the bed and brushed it over his lover’s heated skin, careful not to irritate the still-angry cuts and welts and bruises courtesy of the sorcerer. He gritted his teeth against the fury boiling like hot magma in his gut at what Byram had done. It wasn’t just the vivid, angry display on Gaige’s body that filled Keiran with bloodlust…it was the knowledge of the other horrors the sorcerer had inflicted on his lover. Byram had violated Gaige in every possible way, invading his body, toying with his mind, and though Gaige had yet to face it, Keiran knew eventually the emotional trauma would catch up to him as well. He was a strong man; only someone of amazing fortitude in body and spirit could have survived what had been done to 10


him. But he’d barely escaped the dungeon, and now this…fighting for his life once again. And once again Keiran felt powerless. He hadn’t gotten there in time to protect his mate from the sorcerer’s torture, and now he feared he might not have been in time to help him fight this new threat invading his system. Gaige moaned again and rolled to his side, then to his back. “Stay with me,” Keiran murmured. “Stay with me and fight.” He pressed the fingertips of one hand against his lover’s forehead and whispered several words in draega, calling upon an old, soothing bit of magick he had a faint memory of his mother using on him as a child when he’d been ill or suffered from nightmares. He hadn’t thought of it in many long years, but being here, at Kellesborne, stirred old memories, and he found the words still lingered in his head even after all this time. Within moments Gaige calmed and his breathing grew more even. “Thank you,” Keiran whispered into the silence of the abandoned stronghold, feeling the soft presence of his mother’s spirit nearby. *

*

*

When Keiran opened his eyes, the gray chill of cloudy daylight greeted him. He’d slept at last, without realizing it had happened. But 11


now, feeling the warm, heavy weight of Gaige’s body next to his in the bed, awareness came rushing back, along with all the worries and fears that had haunted him before he’d closed his eyes. He rolled to his side to find Gaige had turned in his sleep and lay facing him, his head pillowed on one hand. His breathing was still even, and when Keiran brushed a hand against his pale, blond-stubbled cheek, he found it warm, but not unnaturally so. Had he beaten the poison? For the first time in almost two days, a flicker of hope dared to stir in Keiran’s chest. When the other man’s lashes fluttered and his eyes opened, the flicker blossomed into a full-fledged ball of warmth. The cerulean depths of Gaige’s eyes, still a little glassy from the fever, but otherwise coherent, drew Keiran in until he thought he could drown in them. “I was dreaming,” Gaige murmured, his voice soft and raspy, barely above a whisper. “Of what?” “Of flames…golden-orange, reaching skyward, surrounding Thrythgar and creeping closer and closer to it.” Keiran gazed at him, wondering if it was a portent of things to come. “I always thought draegans breathing fire was a myth,” Gaige said. “Until I saw you do it when we escaped.” Uneasiness stirred in Keiran. He wondered how much Gaige knew, or if he might suspect the truth. But he felt nothing more from his mate than simple surprise to have 12


discovered a fairy tale was fact. After Byram had almost destroyed the draegan race, he’d made a point of having all written documents about the race destroyed as well. He’d labeled the draegans vicious killers. His motive for almost obliterating the draegans in the first place had been the false charge that the shapeshifters had brutally killed dozens of human children. The lie, spread with vicious glee by the sorcerer himself, had terrified the humans so much that when Byram vowed to hunt down all draegans and execute them, the humans had given him their full vote of confidence. He’d forbidden the telling of stories or singing of songs that portrayed Keiran’s race in any light except the one he perpetuated. Certainly tales had been told anyway—not all the humans had believed Byram’s propaganda—but over time, with the few remaining draegans in hiding, those humans who’d been alive to know the truth passed on, and the stories had become little more than myths and legends with only partial grains of truth at their root. “Not a myth,” Keiran said. “Though not common either. Just a few of us are able to breathe fire. And even rarer are the times we choose to—only under the most dire of circumstances.” Gaige nodded, a pained, faraway look on his face that told Keiran he was remembering their escape. Keiran sat up and filled a pottery mug with water from the flagon on the bedside table, then helped Gaige raise up and drink. When his lover had finished, he brushed the hair off 13


Gaige’s forehead in a soft caress. “How are you feeling?” Gaige shifted position and grimaced. “For some reason I can’t comprehend, since it seems as if I’ve slept for ages, I feel worse now than when I went to sleep.” “The arrow you took in your shoulder was tipped with slow-acting poison.” “Damn. Drensegar root.” Keiran nodded, guilt twisting his insides. “I was able to counteract it, but it was close. I should have suspected it when I was cleaning the wound. By the time I realized what was happening, you were already unconscious and suffering.” “No, I should have thought of it,” Gaige said, disgust evident on his tired, pale face. “It’s one of my father’s favorite tricks in battle…that way, even if someone survives, if they’re injured at all, they die a slow, painful death later. I should have known he would have ordered it. How long was I out?” “Almost two days.” Gaige’s expression filled with terror. “Two days? Keiran, has the camp been warned about what happened? Do they know Byram’s going to be coming? Please tell me you didn’t stay here to try to save me instead of going to save the others.” “The camp will be okay,” Keiran soothed. “Jax and Marta are there to watch over it, and they put up a magick barrier to hide it the moment you and I left to come here to Kellesborne days ago. Plus, it was better we didn’t go there right away, that we stayed here and laid low, to throw off the trail for Byram’s hunters. Everything will be fine. Byram doesn’t know where the camp is, and it’s hidden from sight, so he’s not going to 14


know.” His words didn’t seem to be reassuring Gaige. In truth, they did little to reassure him either, but he had to make Gaige believe. He wouldn’t let Gaige try to blame himself. “You shouldn’t have stayed here with me,” Gaige whispered, shaking his head. “My life isn’t worth risking everyone else’s. You should have gone to them and left me.” Emotion churned in Keiran, all the angst of the past days coming to a head inside him. He cupped Gaige’s cheek in his palm. The words, when he spoke, came from deep in his heart, and though he tried to hide it, even he could hear the raw and desperate emotion laced through them. “Let’s not go through this again. I’m not leaving you, Gaige. And I’m not going to lose you. You hear me?” He pressed his lips against Gaige’s forehead, then against his warm and still slightly fevered lips. “I need you, m’aerlas. Like I need the air to breathe.” “M’aerlas?” “Beloved.” “Keiran…” His name was a sigh edged with worry and fear, yet also replete with love. “Don’t ever ask me again to leave you…here or anywhere. It’s a battle you won’t win.” “You’re a stubborn fool.” Keiran pulled back to look at the man he loved, would give his life for. Once again he found himself lost in those expressive eyes. While General Rizik’s had been blue like winter ice, piercing and hard, Gaige’s were like a cloudless spring day, filled with warmth and promise. “Stubborn, 15


maybe. But never a fool.” “Gods, I love you,” Gaige said, his voice soft and husky. “And I, you.” “Thank you for saving my life yet again.” “Thank you for saving mine.” Keiran waited to see a flash of pain in Gaige’s expression at the reminder Gaige had taken his own father’s life to save Keiran’s. But it never came. No hint of regret invaded his visage, nor did Keiran feel any when he gently probed his mate through the emotional connection they shared. “You’re welcome. But if you’re going to insist on never leaving me behind, even when logic dictates you should…” He gave Keiran a meaningful look, but followed it with a soft smile that curled tendrils of warmth in Keiran’s soul. “Then it’s only fair you know I’ll always have your back, Keiran.” A lump filled Keiran’s throat. “I know.” “We still have to warn the camp.” “And we will. As soon as you’re well enough to travel.” “I’m well enough now. I’m a soldier, remember? I don’t need to be coddled.” “I know you don’t,” Keiran told him, stroking his hair. “But we can’t travel until nightfall anyway. It would be too risky this close to Thrythgar. Which means, whether you like it or not, you’re stuck here with me for a while longer, since by my reckoning it’s early morning right now.” “I don’t mind being here with you. I just hate that it’s another wasted day.” “We won’t waste it.” 16


“Byram’s book? Have you looked at it? Found anything helpful?” “It had a magick seal on it the likes I’d never seen before. I did get it open, but…” He shook his head. “I’ve looked through it, and it’s written in a language I don’t even recognize.” Gaige sighed. “Damn it all. I know that grimoire holds secrets that can help us fight Byram. Is it some type of magick language, you think?” “I’m not sure. And I haven’t found anything in the library here at Kellesborne that’s revealed anything helpful about it.” “So we look some more.” “We will. But first things first. Do you think you can sit up? If so, I know something that may help your aches and pains.” “Yeah…I can sit.” Gaige winced and Keiran noticed he was hardly able to stifle a groan as he started to push himself up. He pressed him back onto the bed. “Not just yet. Relax for a bit and let me get some things ready.” He brushed a kiss against Gaige’s forehead and smiled at him, then rose from the bed. “I’ll be right back.” *

*

*

Gaige watched Keiran cross the room and, even as tired and awful as he felt, he couldn’t help but admire the sight of the draegan who’d so quickly become the center of his world. Dressed only in brown leather pants and a soft, loose-fitting 17


white shirt, barefoot, with his shoulder-length dark hair wavy, tousled and hanging loose, and several days stubble on his face, Keiran looked warm and alive, and radiated confidence and comforting strength. He looked back over his shoulder at Gaige before he exited a small doorway set into one of the white stone castle’s interior walls, and his easy smile and silver-gray eyes filled Gaige with a deep-down heat and contentment that still shocked him. Growing up and working at Thrythgar under Byram’s and his father’s heavy hands for the thirty-odd years of his life hadn’t made for any moments of open warmth and emotional fulfillment. Until he’d met the draegans and moved into their camp, he’d never known the pleasure of true friendship, had never experienced real intimacy or love in a coupling. Keiran had unlocked something deep inside him that he’d never known even existed. Something that both exhilarated and terrified him in equal measure because of its intensity. What he and Keiran shared went beyond anything Gaige had ever imagined, but it also went beyond anything the average human or draegan experienced as well. Their “joining” had been destined—a “true-mating” the draegans called it—a rarity even among the draegan people. And now they were linked together physically, mentally, and emotionally in a bond Gaige suspected he hadn’t yet even begun to comprehend. He just knew there were times he could feel Keiran…in his mind, his body, ribboning through his consciousness even when Keiran wasn’t with him, though it was even stronger when he was. Right now he had a sense of 18


Keiran’s presence nearby, like a fine, gossamer thread linking them. He readjusted himself in the bed, finding another, more comfortable position that put less stress on his battered body. With the soft bedding cradling him, he fought the urge to close his eyes again. He’d done his stoic best to sound convincing when he’d told Keiran he could travel, but in truth, he was still lightheaded from the fever, and his body felt as if it had been dragged through a nest of vipers and each one had bitten him hard and deep, over and over with a vengeance, leaving him as little more than a battered, poisoned sack of skin and bones. He grimaced when he realized his analogy wasn’t far from the truth. Except in his reality the vipers had names…High Sorcerer Byram and Everard Rizik. As he gave up the battle and closed his eyes, seeking only a few more minutes of rest, instead what filled his mind was a memory. A memory of the moment up on the battlement at Thrythgar when he and Keiran were escaping and he’d thrown Keiran’s long knife and struck his father in the throat. He remembered the blood, the look of shock on General Rizik’s face as he stared up at Gaige, and how he’d experienced absolutely no emotion when his father fell. Still didn’t. It seemed odd to feel so distant from it. Shouldn’t he feel something? But perhaps he’d shut his father out so long ago there’d been no emotion left to expend on the man. You’re lying. The words and brutal tone of the voice in his head 19


blindsided him with the power of a punch. No, I feel nothing, he insisted. Yes, you do. Why are you lying to yourself? What’s the matter…can’t face the truth? The voice, mocking and arrogant, gave birth to tight bands around Gaige’s lungs. Bands that began to squeeze…and squeeze. You know the truth. You can’t hide it from yourself and you won’t be able to hide it from Keiran. He thinks you have a good heart, thinks you’re filled with compassion and kindness, and that all those years you worked for Byram as the White Panther, you secretly hated it, that it was all a mask you wore to keep Byram and your father from finding out you were really a good person. It was, and I am, he thought back at the taunting nemesis that dwelled within him. Lies. You know there was a time you loved the kill, enjoyed it. I was young and foolish, he protested. You’re not young now and you still feel it. Keiran’s going to find out, and do you think he’s going to want to be mated to one such as you? No, it wasn’t the truth. Liar. Deceiver. Murderer. You know the truth. The memories ripped through him, filling his veins with ice and searing them with fire at the same time. In Byram’s dungeon torture chamber, while his father had stood by without once protesting or trying to stop it, or even having the 20


consideration to leave while it was happening, but instead had watched, with an eager gleam in his eye, every despicable, evil thing Byram had done to Gaige, Gaige had felt emotion toward the man. Raw, unfettered hatred such as he’d never before experienced in his life. It had surged through him, directed at the man who’d sired him but who’d admitted he’d gladly have killed Gaige as an infant, as he’d killed Gaige’s mother. During those hours of pain and humiliation and degradation, his rage at his father, even more than at Byram, was what had kept him fighting, kept him alive. He’d held no secret hope that Keiran would come for him, had, in fact, done his damnedest to hide his path and motives from Keiran. He’d been certain that even if Keiran searched for him, and maybe even eventually discovered what had happened to him, it would be well after Byram had tortured him beyond all sanity and he’d long be dead. No…the one thing Gaige had stayed alive for was the hope that, before he died, he’d have an opportunity to take his father into the fires of hel with him. You wanted him dead. You wanted to kill him with your own hands, to destroy him, and watch the light in his eyes fade, with him knowing you, the son he’d been forced to let live and had hated and resented from the beginning, had been his downfall. You wanted to murder him. You imagined it, thought about how good it would feel, how much power you’d have at last over him. And then you did it. “Oh, gods,” Gaige whispered, his gut roiling at the sick 21


honesty. He scrambled to drag himself out of bed before he lost the contents of his stomach. As he fell to his knees on the floor, he could almost feel the voice inside him laughing in disdain at his weakness. You did it, and you relished it. Down deep inside, you felt strong, powerful, and you liked it. You’re a murderer, just like your father. You are your father. What would your draegan lover think of you if he knew the truth?

22


CHAPTER 2

Keiran reentered the chamber in time to see Gaige throw himself from the bed and fall to his hands and knees on the white rug covering the stone floor. His eyes were closed, his breathing heavy, and Keiran experienced excruciating pain as if it were his own. “Gaige!” He ran across the chamber and sank down next to him. As gently as he could, he wrapped an arm around his lover’s bare back and leaned close. “What is it?” Gaige shuddered and squeezed his eyes closed more tightly, fighting hard against the unseen agony. “Keiran…” “I’m here. I’m right here. Tell me what I can do.” “I…” The word was little more than a rasp. Then he shook 23


his head. “Nothing. I’m…I’m okay.” “No, you’re not. Clearly you’re not.” “I am.” He struggled to get his breathing under control, and Keiran watched him, worried, needing to help. He reached out with his senses, probing for details about what had caused this sudden and agonizing upset, and was shocked when he didn’t feel any more physical pain in his mate than he had earlier. Gaige was weak and aching, still fighting the last dregs of the poison in his system, but Keiran felt no new ailment in him that would explain his current state. And then he realized…the pain was emotional in nature. His fears that his lover’s experience in Byram’s dungeon would catch up to him bloomed all over again. He searched him once more, trying to piece together the specifics of Gaige’s emotional upset. But as if he sensed what Keiran was doing, Gaige shrugged off Keiran’s arm and pulled away. Somewhere deep within Keiran a warning tremor went off. “Talk to me.” The blond man dragged in one more deep breath, then opened his eyes and slowly, still in obvious pain but trying to hide it, sank to a sitting position on the floor with his back resting against the massive delik wood frame of the bed. “I…I think I was dozing off and I…must have rolled over and twinged my shoulder.” He brought a hand up to rest atop the bandage protecting the angry arrow wound on his shoulder. Keiran studied him, disturbed that Gaige would lie to him. Weren’t they beyond deceit? Hadn’t they left the lies and 24


secrets behind them the last time they’d been here at Kellesborne? The night he’d finally gotten Gaige to confess the truth of why he hadn’t betrayed the draegans to Byram. You’ve been keeping your own secrets, his conscience reminded him. How is it fair to be critical of him for keeping his? It wasn’t the same, he rationalized. His own secrets weren’t his by choice. They’d been laid on his shoulders for the greater good of all. He feared Gaige, on the other hand, would ultimately self-destruct if he held in his trauma over what had happened with Byram. “Gaige…” “Really. I’m fine.” Keiran felt a shutter close somewhere in Gaige’s mind to keep him out, which unsettled him even more. “Don’t do this,” Keiran said, more forcefully than he’d meant to. Gaige’s eyebrows rose and he made eye contact with Keiran for the first time. “Do what?” Keiran pulled the silver sabeen fur cover from the bed and wrapped it around Gaige’s nude form to fight the chill of the stone floor and the drafts that were ever-present in a place as big as Kellesborne, which perched on the side of one of the higher mountains in Velensperia. Gaige grasped the edges of it and tugged it close, giving Keiran a grateful look. “Don’t shut me out,” Keiran said, sitting next to him. “What aren’t you telling me?” 25


Gaige closed his eyes and rested his head on his drawn-up knees. “Nothing.” “Damn it, Gaige—” “Keiran, please, it’s just what I said.” His eyes stayed closed, and he sounded exhausted, as if whatever had reared its ugly head to haunt him had sapped the last of his strength and energy. Keiran tamped down his frustration. Though he hated that Gaige wasn’t willing or ready to share his turmoil with him, he had no desire to cause him further pain and stress. And it wasn’t that he was so impatient he didn’t want to give Gaige time and space. It was just that with Byram soon to be breathing down their necks, they didn’t have the luxury of time. It was imperative they present a united and strong front, which would be impossible if Gaige allowed Byram’s demons to haunt him. Keiran sighed, making the decision to back off…for now. But for Gaige’s sake, he’d have to find a way to get the truth from him sooner rather than later. “Okay. Come on.” He wrapped an arm around Gaige’s waist. When Gaige opened his eyes and looked at him with caution, no doubt trying to determine if Keiran was going to let it go or continue to push, Keiran smiled and, keeping his voice light, said, “I promised you help for your aches and pains and, if you’re up for a short walk, I plan to make good on that promise.” The relief on Gaige’s face was apparent. “Where are we going?” 26


“You’ll see.” He helped his lover to his feet and, steadying him, led him across the chamber to the door where he’d exited earlier. When they entered the next room, Gaige paused, and Keiran gazed at him, enjoying the look of surprise and open appreciation on his face. It always pleased him that Gaige found such joy in the many unexpected luxuries of the draegan stronghold. “What is this?” Gaige asked, his voice filled with awe. “This,” Keiran said, shutting the heavy wooden door to keep in the heat, then leading him to the edge of a huge, sunken stone pool large enough to fit the both of them and then some, “is the lord’s bathing chamber.” The lone, narrow, floor-to-ceiling window at the end of the long room gave a view of the high neighboring mountain peaks glistening with snow. This morning, the gray sky threatened to bring more of the same in spite of the fact it was still autumn. In contrast, steam wafted off the water in the pool, and the scents of the sage, eucalyptia, and other healing herbs Keiran had added caused a pleasant tingle in his nostrils. The stone walls shimmered in rich hues of blue as if they were lit from within, and the same glowing stone had been used in the bathing pool. “This place…I never know what to expect,” Gaige said, his voice soft, as if he thought speaking any louder would somehow dissolve the ancient, powerful magick that kept Kellesborne hidden from the outside world and preserved the inside of it in perfect condition, even though it had been 27


deserted for decades. “How is this possible?” “A hot spring runs beneath the castle. The ancient draegan lords who built Kellesborne designed it so the hot water could be piped in here in a continuous flow. You can bathe as long as you’d like and the water won’t ever grow cold. When you’re done, you shut off the flow and let the pool drain.” “I thought the draegans had abandoned this place a long time ago. How do you know so much about its intricacies?” “I lived here for a time when I was a boy. Before it was deserted.” Gaige looked at him curiously, and Keiran could almost feel his thoughts spinning, wondering when that might have been, and just how long ago the draegans stopped living here. But he didn’t ask for further explanation, which relieved Keiran. He had another twinge of guilt over holding out on Gaige with the full truth, but his mate had enough on his mind right now without having to be bogged down with Keiran’s complicated past as well. The time was coming when he’d tell Gaige everything—soon he’d have no choice. When he did, he could only hope his mate would be understanding. He unwrapped the fur from around his lover, eased the bandage off his shoulder, exposing the jagged, angry flesh at both front and back where the arrow had pierced him, and helped him step down into the pool. *

*

*

Keiran eased him down onto one of the sunken stone reclining benches, and Gaige groaned as the hot water closed 28


around him. The numerous cuts and welts on his skin stung, but within moments, the edgy pain subsided and he felt the healing herbs in the water go to work. He heard Keiran strip out of his clothes and enter the pool. When he looked up at him, he saw, for the first time since he'd awakened, the sword wound on the upper left side of Keiran's chest. It looked clean, though still red and swollen. "How is it feeling?" he asked, his stomach knotting at the sight and the knowledge his father had done it and could have killed Keiran. "It's a bit sore and achy, but it was a clean entry, not life threatening." He offered Gaige a smile. "I've had worse." "I just hate how it happened," Gaige said, his voice filled with bitterness. "I know. But contrary to what the high sorcerer thinks, it would take more than one man's sword to kill a draegan in winged form." "Not if it was a direct blow to the heart." Keiran pressed a kiss against Gaige's lips. "But it wasn't. And I'm alive and fine." He slid in behind Gaige, his legs on either side of him. His arms curved around Gaige, pulling him back until he reclined against Keiran's chest and his head rested on his shoulder. "Is this comfortable?" he asked, his voice low and husky against Gaige's cheek. Gaige nodded, his throat suddenly so clogged with emotion he couldn't speak. Keiran's arms and body surrounded him, cradling him close in a protective embrace. That, along with the press of his generous, half-erect cock against Gaige's 29


backside, the heat and comfort of the fragrant water, and the odd sense of belonging he felt emanating from the very walls of Kellesborne, as if he'd somehow come home, made it harder by the second for him to maintain the barriers he'd thrown up in haste to keep Keiran out of his thoughts and emotions. With infinite gentleness, Keiran washed his hair and bathed him. Gaige closed his eyes and savored the feel of Keiran's large hands stroking over his skin with tender care, soaping everything he could reach from his position behind Gaige, including his sensitive shaft and testicles. His body began to respond to the attention, growing both more relaxed and more tinglingly alive at the same time. Each time Keiran's hands strayed elsewhere, Gaige found himself wanting them back at his groin. He concentrated on Keiran's touch, especially there, letting it wash away the poisoned memories of Byram's abuse and replace them with goodness. Keiran brushed a kiss against Gaige's temple. ::I love you.:: His voice was a soft, gravelly caress in Gaige's mind, as it always was when he used the draegan telepathic speech. Sudden, hot moisture stung Gaige's eyes. How could he deserve this man and his love? He was tainted, weighted down with a past full of foul deeds. You're not who he thinks you are. You're a liar. A murderer. Just like your father… Stop! Just leave me alone, he begged. He brought a hand up to rub his damp eyes before Keiran could notice, but it was too late… 30


“You don’t have to deal with this alone, love. Please, talk to me.” Keiran’s soft words caused a new rent in Gaige’s heart. “Don’t,” he said. “Don’t what?” “Don’t try to read me like you’re doing. I can feel you in there, brushing against my thoughts.” “Then talk to me. Lean on me. Let me help you.” Gaige squeezed his eyes closed more tightly, feeling the urge to pull away from Keiran and escape this confrontation, yet not able to because down deep inside he didn’t want to ever pull away. When he was with Keiran, all the things that had been wrong in his life for so long didn’t seem to matter as much. He felt like a better person with him…but it was all just a cover, wasn’t it? Like the peel of a choku melon that looked succulent on the outside, but hid the rotten fruit beneath. Could people really change, or was it only ever a masquerade? “Gaige…” “I can’t,” he murmured. “I’m here. Let me help you. The things Byram did to you…” “It’s not Byram.” Now he did sit up and pull away, needing to put some distance between them, but still too weak to get out of the water. Instead he moved to sit opposite Keiran, though they were only separated by an arm’s length. As he stared out the window at the cold gray sky, he felt Keiran’s steady, concerned gaze on him. “Then what?” 31


Gaige felt the subtlest probing again, gentle, like the flutter of butterfly wings against his thoughts. He tried to hide the truth, to bury it…but as he turned to look at Keiran and protest, he saw Keiran’s eyes widen and knew he’d just been found out. “Gaige…you are not your father.” “Stop it! Stop getting in my head, damn it!” “I can’t help it. I’m not trying, it’s just happening. When you have strong emotions, I feel it. When you have strong thoughts, I feel them. It’s the joining…this is part of it. As time passes, the connection will become even more pronounced.” “A joining I didn’t ask for!” Gaige growled. But the moment he saw the hurt flare in Keiran’s silvergray eyes, a wave of guilt crashed over him, dousing his anger at Keiran, and filling him with remorse. “Gods…Keiran, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” He buried his face in his hands. Water sloshed around him as Keiran moved closer once again and the warm weight of his arms slid around his waist. “I know. But the truth is, you didn’t ask for it,” Keiran said with a sigh. “That doesn’t mean I didn’t want it,” Gaige said. “I did. And I do. I just feel…” He dragged in a pained breath and once again fought back the emotion threatening to bubble free. “I don’t think I’m good for you.” Keiran leaned back and gazed steadily into Gaige’s eyes. “Gaige, what you felt…what you feel about your father is natural.” 32


“I just…” “Tell me.” Gaige swallowed hard. “He murdered my mother.” Keiran didn’t appear surprised. “I suspected as much. General Rizik was never known for his love of the draegans. He didn’t know she was a draegan when he coupled with her, did he?” “No.” Gaige had learned of his heritage during his capture, along with the dark truth of what his father and Byram had done. “The story Byram told me was that my mother fell in love with my father, but she knew if he ever found out she was a draegan he’d kill her. So she got pregnant in hopes a child would bind him to her, that if she presented him with progeny, he’d keep her with him. But in childbirth he discovered she was a draegan. Once he realized, he murdered her on the spot.” Keiran sighed and brushed a hand over his cheek. “I’m sorry.” “He wanted to kill me, too,” Gaige whispered, feeling as if the words were being torn from his throat, yet he couldn’t hold them back. “He would have killed me right there when I was born…except Byram made him keep me alive.” “Byram?” “Yeah. You know why?” Keiran’s dark brows furrowed together. He shook his head. “So he could do exactly what he did to me,” Gaige gritted out. More dampness blurred his vision, and he swiped it away with an angry hand, not wanting Keiran to see. But like the 33


story coming out of him, he couldn’t make it stop either. “He made the general leave me alive so he, Byram, could keep me like some beautiful trophy, like he kept my father. And so he could fuck me like a whore. Like he’s apparently been fucking my father all these years.” “Oh, gods…” Keiran whispered. “It gets better,” Gaige said with a bitter laugh. “He and my father weren’t what I’d call ‘normal’ lovers. They got their thrills from all kinds of…” He dragged in a deep breath. “My father and Byram, they got off on torture. I mean they sexually got off on it. It’s what they did with each other. What Byram did to me. He wasn’t just trying to get information out of me, Keiran. He did it because…” He paused and looked away, swallowing hard and fighting the damnable tears. “Gaige, don’t. You don’t have to say any more.” He shook his head and continued—he had to continue, as if something inside drove him to it. “He did it because it excited him. And my fucking father stood there and let him— ” His voice broke. Through the hot, watery haze, he finally looked at Keiran and discovered Keiran’s eyes welled with moisture as well. “M’aerlas,” Keiran whispered, his voice thick with emotion, and pulled Gaige close. “He stood there and never said a word. How could any father do such a thing? He let him do it, Keiran.” Against Gaige’s will, sobs broke free of his chest now. He’d always prided himself on his ability to hide his emotions…he’d had to, growing up the way he had. Weakness 34


of any kind had been forbidden in front of Byram and General Rizik. But now, it was as if all the years of holding everything back, all the decades of suppressed emotion that had been a seething cauldron inside him, had at last boiled over. Helpless to stop the flow of agony, he leaned into Keiran and gave himself up to it. If Keiran thought him weak for it, then it would just have to be another mark against him in the long list of faults Gaige knew defined him. But Keiran never wavered, never let him go. He held him close in a fierce, protective embrace that tore Gaige’s heart in two, and he was every inch the tower of strength and comfort he’d promised he would be if only Gaige would let him. Gaige didn’t know how long the storm raged, how long Keiran held him, murmuring words of love and comfort and understanding, stroking his back with gentle tenderness as all the hurt poured out of him. Eventually, though, Gaige purged himself dry, and with his head resting on Keiran’s shoulder, he could hardly move he was so numb from the emotional jag. “I wanted him dead,” he confessed in a whisper, breaking the silence, needing to get all the truths out. Keiran deserved to know just who he’d mated himself to. “I wanted to kill him.” “That doesn’t make you a bad person.” “I imagined how it would feel to wrap my hands around his neck and squeeze. I wanted to watch him die. Good people don’t think and do such things. I’m just like him.” “No.” Keiran held him away from him just far enough he 35


could look Gaige in the eye. And what Gaige saw there was a ferocity he’d never seen before on Keiran’s face. It both shocked him and, in some odd way, stirred heat through his veins. Keiran’s voice, when he continued, was hard as iron. “I would have killed him for you if I’d had the chance. And I have every intention of doing the same to Byram for how he hurt you. When I came into that dungeon and saw you hanging there… My gods, Gaige, all I could think about in my rage was how much I wanted to slide my knife across Byram’s throat and feel the hot flow of his blood on my hands. I still think about it. So don’t you, for one second, believe that because you wanted your father dead and then killed him, you’re bad or evil or anything like him. If that makes you bad, then you and I will share a place together in the fires of hel because I’m just as guilty as you are. After a hundred years of spilling innocent blood, your father got what he deserved.” “Hundred years? You mean Byram?” “No, I mean General Rizik and his reign of terror at Byram’s side from the beginning.” Gaige stared at him as his pulsed pounded. “What do you mean?” he said slowly. Keiran looked at Gaige strangely, and then his eyes widened. “You didn’t realize…” “My grandfather was the one with Byram when he came to power.” Keiran’s gaze was troubled, but his voice was confident. “No, Gaige…it was your father. He helped Byram wage his 36


war. He was a captain back then. Afterward, to reward him, Byram made him a general, and whatever magick he used on himself to extend his own life, he used on your father as well, or at least used something similar.” “That’s… But… At Byram’s stronghold the men spoke of a Rizik with Byram all those years ago, but they, we were led to believe it was my grandfather. It was just…assumed.” He tried to remember if he’d ever heard his father or Byram say for a fact it had been his grandfather with Byram back then, but he couldn’t recall. “And probably an easy assumption from a human point of view. The men you worked with at Thrythgar were no doubt young. There’d be none alive still who would have been there to know the truth, so Byram and your father probably did nothing to stop the stories because it kept them from having to explain the unexplainable.” “But…how do you know?” Keiran’s eyes darkened. “Because draegans live longer than humans and there are draegans still alive who remember it well.” Gaige couldn’t doubt Keiran, though he wanted to. His mate was just too confident about it, and Gaige supposed there probably were draegans alive now who’d been alive back then. Still…how could he not have known? How could he never have questioned what he’d heard? And, worse, now that he thought back, how could he not have wondered why his father never aged, never looked any older from the time Gaige was a child until the day he’d died? 37


“I just…” He shook his head. “I can’t believe I never knew,” he whispered. “All those years. All the slaughter…my gods, he was even worse than I thought.” “Which is why the fact he’s gone now is a blessing. He destroyed countless lives over those long years.” “I’ve done most of those same things,” Gaige reminded him. “You did what you had to in order to survive in the harsh environment you lived in. But when you had a chance to escape, to make a different choice, you chose to walk away from all that. Do you think your father would have done the same in your stead? A hundred years he stood by Byram and never once swayed.” “I murdered him, Keiran. And it felt good. How is that different from the things he’s done?” “No, Gaige. You killed him to save my life. There’s a difference. And you will never be just like him…because you’re half-draegan. As much as you have his blood flowing through your veins, you also have your mother’s. And now you have mine.” Keiran’s words caused a spark somewhere deep inside Gaige…a tiny spark that lit the end of a fuse that slowly sizzled its way through his being. He’d lived his entire life believing he was human, and had only just discovered the truth a few days ago. He hadn’t even had time yet to process the fact he was part draegan, much less grow used enough to the idea that it was at the forefront of his thoughts. In short…it hadn’t occurred to him. 38


You will never be just like him… His father had hated the draegans. Had helped destroy most of them when Byram first waged war against them. Hated them enough to kill Gaige’s mother without a second thought, and to kill Gaige himself if he’d had the chance. His father had barely tolerated him over the years, had never had a kind word for him, had resented even having to be in the same room with him, and now it all made sense. He was, in reality, everything his father hated. “What was your mother’s name? Do you know?” “My father never talked about her when I was growing up, but I remember Byram mentioning her a few times and he said her name was Albione.” Keiran smiled. “That’s the name you used when you first came to the draegan camp and thought to hide your identity— Gaige Albione, you said you were. Don’t you find it rather fateful that you used your draegan mother’s name when you came to us, before you even realized you were draegan?” A soft huff of surprise escaped Gaige. “I didn’t know…” “You’re your own person,” Keiran reiterated. “You are not responsible for the sins of your father, nor do his sins automatically destine you to do the same. You’ve already proven time and time again that your fate lies along a very different path from his. Gaige…you’re imlain’ du draeganlahn.” “What does that mean?” Keiran’s eyes glittered with passion and pride. “It means you’re the true mate of a draegan. I’ve told you that true39


mating isn’t simply a choice, it’s a destiny, something that’s written in the stars. Do you think fate and the gods of Erantz would have given you that destiny were you not worthy?” Gaige stared at him as warmth spread through his veins and stirred in his heart. “I…I don’t know.” Keiran grasped the back of his head and pulled him close, until their mouths were just a hair’s breadth apart. “Well, I know. So whenever you feel uncertain, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll be glad to set you straight.” Keiran’s mouth closed over Gaige’s in a kiss that set fire to Gaige’s soul. Once again Gaige found his body tingling to life with surprising enthusiasm considering his less-than-healthy physical state and the memories of Byram’s dungeon, though pushed aside, still lingering like dark shadows at the edge of his consciousness. The longer the kiss went on, the more Gaige wanted it…and other things. His hands roamed over Keiran’s torso, across his broad, wet shoulders, down his muscular arms, over the planes of his chest, and through the dark, triangular thatch of hair that dusted it. Keiran moved so his legs again straddled Gaige’s body, but this time Keiran faced him. “Touch me,” Gaige said. “Are you sure, love? You’re not healed yet. I don’t want to hurt you.” “Yes. I need you to. Need you to help me forget.” He felt a stir of anger in his mind, Keiran’s anger, but not 40


directed at him, directed at Byram, for what he’d done. ::You’re mine, m’aerlas. He won’t ever touch you again. And soon there will be no more room inside you for memories of anything but us, but this…:: His hand slid between Gaige’s legs and his long, gentle fingers teased over the taut skin of Gaige’s sac, tracing the curve of each testicle, slipping lower to tease circles over and around the tight, clenching ring of muscle that guarded Gaige’s anal passage, then moved up to brush a slow openpalm stroke along the underside of his hardening shaft. Gaige sucked in a slow hiss and closed his eyes, savoring the sensation and Keiran’s words in his head. Keiran wrapped his hand around Gaige’s length, his fingers closing together until Gaige’s cock was cocooned in its lightly squeezing grasp. The heat, the seductive caresses, the gentle pressure that was just enough without being too much on his still-sensitive organ, created a pulse of desperate longing deep in Gaige’s core. He suddenly wanted, needed Keiran inside him, filling him, possessing him. But he knew, with a sense of frustration, that he wasn’t healed enough yet. The knowledge didn’t stop the wanting, though. “Mine,” Keiran murmured against his lips, as if he knew what Gaige had been thinking, his tone fierce and possessive, which made Gaige ache all the more. Then he sealed their mouths once again in a slow, intimate, probing kiss that imitated the movement of his hand on Gaige’s rod. Keiran scooted closer, until Gaige felt the turgid length of his lover’s thick, velvet-skinned cock sliding against his own, 41


and then Keiran captured both their shafts in his hand and pressed them together. The draegan’s natural lubricant, which was activated by moisture, made Keiran’s cock as slick as if it had been oiled, and was so prolific even the water didn’t wash it away…only made it more effective and slippery and erotic. Gaige gasped, pulling his lips free to catch a breath. But it was a brief breath because Keiran grasped the back of his head and tugged him back into the kiss, and between it and the slow, seductive movement of his hand stroking both their cocks together, and the swirl of hot water caressing him as well, Gaige found himself growing lightheaded. Not in the sickly way of the fever, but in the “oh, gods, that’s fucking good” way of exquisitely building pleasure. He clutched at Keiran’s back, digging in hard with his fingers, unable to stop himself against Keiran’s sensual onslaught. Each time Keiran slid his palm up and rubbed it over their joined cockheads, Gaige moaned into his mouth. ::It’s good, isn’t it, love?:: Keiran asked in his mind, his voice like a warm, gritty rasp in all the right places against Gaige’s senses. ::You like the way my prick feels against yours, don’t you?:: Hel, yes, he liked it. ::And this is only the beginning. As soon as you’re well, I’m going to remind you all over again how perfectly our bodies fit in every way. I’m going to suck your cock slow and hard until you beg for more, until you beg me to let you come. But I’m not going to let you…yet. Before I do, I’m going to lick and taste and bury my tongue in your beautiful ass and 42


fuck you with it, while you writhe and sob for me to fill you with something else. And then, when I know you can’t stand it another moment, I’m going to stuff you so full with my eager prick you’ll feel certain you’re going to burst.:: “Yes! Gods, yes.” ::When I spill inside you, m’aerlas, my seed’s going to go so deep you’ll be dripping with it for a week. And each day, as you feel it, slick and damp, seeping from your tender hole, it’ll be a reminder to you just how thoroughly I’ve fucked you, loved you, marked you as mine.:: Gaige pulled his lips free of Keiran’s and tilted his head back as a groan tore through him. “Holy gods, Keiran…” He felt Keiran smile, then his mouth latched onto Gaige’s exposed neck and he sucked it, causing Gaige to convulse in response. His body rocked against Keiran’s, trying to get closer, to find some relief for the fire spreading just beneath his skin until it coalesced in an inferno low in his groin that he thought might incinerate him from the inside out. ::That’s it, beloved…let go. I’ll be right here to catch you when you go over the edge. I’ll always be here. Now come for me. Come for me and only me.:: And just like that, as if Keiran had total control over his responses, Gaige’s testicles drew up in a tight knot against his body, a rush of aching, tingling fire shot up his cock, and with a moan and wracking series of shudders, he exploded, pumping copious waves of hot seed into Keiran’s hand and the eddying water. He felt Keiran’s elation, and then his surrender 43


as well, felt each jerk of his lover’s spasming shaft against his own. Keiran’s hand milked them both with steady, sure strokes, until Gaige was certain he’d expelled every last drop of liquid of any kind in his body. Drained, exhausted, but sated and content in a way he hadn’t been sure he’d ever be again, he sagged into Keiran’s arms. “Thank you,” he murmured, surprised to feel the burn of tears again. He couldn’t express in words how grateful he was for what Keiran had just given him. Keiran’s gaze surged with love, and Gaige had a strong and sudden sense Keiran knew how he felt. “You’re welcome.” He brushed his lips gently against Gaige’s, then against his forehead. “Haven’t you figured out yet that I’m at your beck and call any time?” Gaige’s throat was too choked with emotion to respond. He rested his head on Keiran’s shoulder and slid his arms around his waist, wanting to stay as close to him as possible. Keiran combed his fingers through Gaige’s long, wet locks with a tenderness that caused Gaige’s heart to ache even more with love and appreciation. “Can I sleep for a week now?” Gaige finally said, a smile tugging at his mouth. Keiran’s low, rich laughter was a balm to his troubled soul. “Are you saying I did you in?” “Completely. But in the best possible way.” Smiling, Keiran held his face in his hands. “A week might 44


be pushing it. I have a feeling watching you sleep, stretched out nude and glorious in bed, would drive me to horny thoughts in short order, which would force me to wake you every so often to slake my lust.” Gaige huffed out a soft laugh. “Somehow I don’t think I’d mind being awakened for that.” “How about we compromise and you sleep for the rest of today?” “I’ll take it. Of course I suppose that’ll require me to drag my ass out of this pool first, though, won’t it? In the interest of not drowning in my sleep.” “I’d never let that happen. But you’d probably find yourself a bit less water-logged if you went back to bed,” Keiran said with a grin. Minutes later, when Keiran was helping Gaige back into the large soft bed, he decided he hadn’t really been kidding about sleeping for a week. His eyes felt heavy the moment his head hit the pillow. “Sleep and heal, love,” Keiran said, pulling the covers up over him and kissing him. “I’m sorry,” Gaige said, his voice barely coherent it was already so heavy with sleep. “I was supposed to help you with the book.” “The book will be here when you wake up. And so will I.” His smile was the last thing Gaige saw before the warm fingers of sleep pulled his eyes shut. I’m part draegan. And Keiran’s mate. Everything’s going to be okay. 45


Before a full sense of relief could descend over him, though, the taunting voice reared its ugly head again, determined to have the final word. You’re also part human. You have your father’s blood, too. Who’s to say which part of you rules at any given time. For Keiran and the draegans, you can be draegan. But you know the truth…

46


CHAPTER 3

Gaige jolted awake from another dream, this one so real he sat up in a panic, breathing hard, and searched the room for Keiran, and for reassurance. Keiran was instantly at his side, sinking onto the bed next to him. Lines of concern creased his forehead. “What is it?” “I had another dream. This one about Kellesborne.” “What about it?” “I saw it in the moonlight. It was abandoned.” “It already is. We’re the only ones here.” “No,” Gaige said, a chill creeping up his spine. “I mean really abandoned, Keiran. It was empty, crumbling. A ruin.” “You were just dreaming.” Keiran reached out and brushed 47


the hair back off Gaige’s face. “It didn’t feel like a dream. It felt real.” So real the images still haunted him. Keiran gazed at him thoughtfully, and in the flickering candlelight that lit the large chamber, Gaige saw something in his eyes…something that caused a jolt in his chest. Keiran held out his hands, palms up. “Can you show me?” Gaige looked at him, then at his upturned hands. “How?” “Hold my hands, close your eyes, and picture what you saw.” “Will that work?” “I’m not sure, to be honest. But we’ve been sharing other connections, so it’s worth a try.” “Okay.” He grasped Keiran’s warm hands in his and closed his eyes as Keiran had directed. For a moment his mind was so busy spinning with a hundred different thoughts it was hard to focus, but he shut everything else out and concentrated on the dream, trying to put himself back into it, see the sights, smell the smells, feel the cold against his skin… In the dream he’d come upon Kellesborne by foot, up the steep mountain path, and what had greeted him was not the magnificent towering white stone castle as he knew it, but instead a shell of what once had been, with great chunks of the stone walls littered across the mountainside. The once intricate carvings and scrollwork lay in piles of rubble. And the inside of the castle itself was empty and crumbling, desolate, with the scent of cold decay and dust heavy in the air. Gaige’s chest felt leaden with sorrow. “The gods have forsaken us,” he 48


heard himself whisper in the dream. With a pounding heart he opened his eyes to find Keiran’s gaze on him and sadness rippling off him as well. They stared at each other for several long moments, sharing an odd closeness born from the loss and pain in the dream. “You see what I mean?” Gaige asked in a quiet voice. “It was so real.” Keiran nodded. “Have you ever had dreams like this before? Like this one and the one earlier about the flames and Thrythgar?” Gaige shrugged, oddly unsettled at the question. “I guess I dream like anyone else from time to time. But…” He frowned. “I don’t remember anything this vivid before, or this detailed. My gods…I could smell it, Keiran. Feel it.” The troubled look was back on Keiran’s face. “I know. I could, too, through my link with you.” “Do you think these dreams mean something?” Keiran sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know. It’s possible they’re nothing more than the result of all the many changes that have occurred in your life over the past weeks. You’ve been through a lot. Plenty to keep your subconscious mind busy, I suspect.” “I suppose.” Though something niggled deep inside him that there was more to it. “Do me a favor, though, and tell me if you have any others?” Keiran’s words implied he wasn’t convinced it was random dreaming either. And that knowledge sent another 49


shiver up Gaige’s spine. “I will.” He glanced around the room, trying to shake off the disturbing feeling the dream had left him with, and noticed again the candles lit all around, and the deep grays of twilight outside the huge windows. “Gods, how long did you let me sleep? Please tell me I wasn’t out for another two days?” “No, no.” Keiran’s smile was a ray of warmth in the growing darkness. “It’s only just past sunset. How do you feel?” Gaige stretched his muscles, testing them, and realized his head felt clearer than it had earlier in the day. “Better, I think.” The last several hours of sleep had gone a long way toward getting him back on his feet. “Keiran’s healing soak and stroke seems to have worked.” Keiran’s chuckle chased away the last of the haunted thoughts and shadows. “Soak and stroke?” “Give the man a bathing tub filled with hot water, a cake of soap, and something to fondle, and he can do magick.” “Magick, is it?” Keiran leaned in to kiss him, and at the same time slid a hand under the covers to demonstrate his skill. Gaige’s sigh became a moan of appreciation, then a sharp groan of protest when he was unhanded. “Okay, that was unfair,” Gaige told him. “You’re being a tease.” “You get no more ‘fondling’ until you’ve had something to eat,” Keiran said with a grin. “And I know what you’re thinking, so don’t even say it. You’ll be eating food.” 50


Gaige smiled as Keiran rose from the bed and crossed to the wooden table nearby, picked up a tray, and brought it back to the bed. But then Gaige sobered as the reality of their situation fell once again on his shoulders. “Maybe we should eat as we travel,” he suggested. “We need to leave tonight, Keiran.” “I know, but you’ve had nothing in your system for days except water and some broth I managed to get into you while you were fevered from the poison. You may think you’re feeling better, but you wouldn’t get far on the road as you are with no sustenance.” Gaige sighed, acknowledging he was probably right. The seductive humor between them was replaced by urgency as they ate the stew Keiran had made from some small creature he’d managed to hunt up on the mountainside, and some dried fruit. They washed it down with water from the castle spring. When they’d finished, Gaige donned a pair of tan leather pants, a soft brown shirt, and boots Keiran had laid out earlier for him. Gaige assumed they were extras of Keiran’s, although he was a few inches taller than Keiran and these seemed to fit him unusually well. “Here.” Keiran held a quiver filled with arrows and a bow in one hand, and a short-handled dagger called a vrieg in the other. Gaige took them, surprised. “Where did these come from?” “They were my father’s. As are the clothes. He…stayed 51


here at Kellesborne sometimes. He was tall, like you, so I figured the clothes would fit better than mine. And the weapons are the ones he carried with him every day. Since yours were all lost at Thrythgar, I thought you’d be able to use them.” Gaige admired the well-made bow and beautifully tooled leather quiver, then set them aside on the bed before hefting the vrieg in his palm, finding its weight reassuring in his hand, and its grip as comfortable as his own had been—more so even, almost as if it had been made for him. Unlike his previous one, however, this one had a handle and blade made from a solid silver-blue metal unlike anything he’d ever seen. Stories of ancient mines from long ago came back to him and his pulse hitched. “Is this elorium?” he asked, hearing the shock in his voice. If so, it would explain why it fit him so well. It was said elorium molded to its user—in this case, the dagger’s grip had rearranged its structure to fit his hand. Keiran smiled. “It is. You don’t find it much anymore. The mines were long ago lost in earthquakes and the ravages of time.” “How did your father come by such a treasure?” Gaige asked in wonder. In addition to its malleable properties, elorium was also said to be virtually indestructible. “There are still a few pieces floating about. Some even say Byram hoards trinkets made from it, though I daresay that’s more fable than truth.” “I never saw any in all the years I lived at Thrythgar. And 52


knowing Byram as I do, if he had it, he would have flaunted it.” Keiran nodded. “It was mostly used by the draegans and the elves. When the elf kings traveled over the Onyx Sea, they took their treasures with them. What remained was kept by the draegans in stashes here and about. This vrieg was given to my father by my mother on the day of their joining ceremony.” “There’s a joining ceremony?” Gaige asked, looking up at Keiran. “There is. Though in many cases it’s a formality. The actual joining is the physical consummation and the bloodletting, which together are binding and complete. Many draegans used to hold a ceremony as well, though, to celebrate the occasion with family and friends.” Gaige nodded, then held the vrieg out to Keiran. “This is too generous a gift. I can’t take it.” Keiran’s dark brows shot up, but then he smiled. He took it from Gaige, but instead of laying it aside, he slid it down into its case on Gaige’s belt. “It’s yours now.” When Gaige opened his mouth to protest, Keiran cut him off. “Don’t even think about arguing. I want you to have it.” He grasped handfuls of Gaige’s shirt and pulled him close, then kissed him. “Have I told you what a stubborn ass you can be?” That drew a smile from Gaige. “Funny, I seem to remember saying the same thing about you just this morning. Though I don’t believe I called you an ass.” 53


“No, but I’m certain at some point you were thinking about my ass.” A soft laugh escaped Gaige. “You’re incorrigible.” “Where you’re concerned…yes.” His eyes sparkled like shards of silver. But lines of concern marred his forehead and he sobered. “Are you sure you’re up for traveling?” “Yes. Though, in all honesty, I doubt anyone at the camp will be glad to see me. I didn’t leave on the best of terms.” The accusations that he was a traitor, a liar, and murderer had been thrown at him like daggers. And those descriptions weren’t wrong. Keiran draped a heavy gray wool cloak around Gaige’s shoulders, then donned his own dark green one. “I think you’ll find you have more support than you expect. You might be interested in knowing that Marta laid Jax out unconscious when he spoke ill of you.” Shock coursed through Gaige. “She did?” “I went back to camp after you left here that night, to get more information from Jax on what he’d overheard Byram telling you, so I could try to figure out where you’d gone. Once we finally got him to talk”—a grin teased at Keiran’s lips—“Marta punched him out cold. And then she told me to go get you and bring you back safe.” A tiny bit of the knot that had lain heavy in Gaige’s gut loosened. He hadn’t expected to have any allies in the draegan camp except Keiran. Still, he didn’t kid himself. Jax hadn’t liked him from the moment they’d met. He suspected the fierce draegan would continue to dog his every step, looking 54


for faults and speaking them aloud to any who would listen. He had a sick gut feeling his return to camp wouldn’t be serene. *

*

*

The cold damp of early morning clung to the wet, mossy earth, dripped from the pines towering over them, and seeped through their cloaks and clothing with icy fingers as Keiran and Gaige approached the outskirts of the draegan encampment three days later. If only he’d been able to take winged form safely, Keiran knew they could have been at the camp within hours of their departure from Kellesborne. But with Byram’s invisible magick “nets” scattered through the skies that, if a draegan flew into one, could trigger an attack by nyctophans—dark supernatural creatures that could get into one’s mind and kill by driving the victim insane with torment and pain—flight had always been risky. And now, knowing Keiran and Gaige had escaped Thrythgar by wing, the sorcerer would be extra vigilant, and had probably already increased the number of nets and sharp-eyed archers, just in case. And so they’d had no choice but to make the trek on foot. The journey had been longer than planned because Byram had the East Road watched, so they’d taken the longer route and cut across country. But a run-in with several large detachments of Byram’s troops near the Ravenwilde Flats had forced them to seek refuge in a dank sabeen den, after first having to dispatch the silver wildcat to which it belonged. 55


They’d been stuck in there in the bitter cold for a full night and day before the detachments that had set up camp around them moved on. To add insult to injury, sleet had begun to fall several hours before dawn this morning as they traveled. Already exhausted and half-frozen, Keiran feared the icy rain would be the final straw for Gaige, sapping what little was left of his energy. The man was a seasoned soldier, though, and in spite of the wretched weather, his pale, drawn face, and the agony with which his abused body continued to punish him each step of the way—which Keiran could feel as if it were his own— Gaige never complained, never lagged, and never stopped. His drive to reach the camp to warn them, in spite of his fear he wouldn’t be welcome, tugged at Keiran’s heart. He was both proud of him, and worried sick he was pushing himself too hard, too fast. But each time he’d tried to stop for a break or slow their pace, Gaige had insisted on forging on. As they approached the eastern boundary of the camp, Keiran was pleased and relieved to find the protective magick shielding in place, which meant the camp was still intact. They’d seen no members of the draeganjhere, the camp’s sentries, as they neared, but Keiran had sensed Wen’s presence long before they would have been in sight. Wen, his lieutenant Marta’s eldest son, stood guard duty at this edge of the encampment. Keiran steered them, with silent stealth only a draegan could have, away from the diligent young sentry, wanting to slip into camp with no fanfare if at all possible. He was hoping for a few hours of peace so Gaige could get some 56


well-earned sleep and lose the gaunt pallor and dark circles under his eyes. Keiran opened a doorway in the barrier with a sweep of his hand. “For all that it’s supposed to be so great I’m half draegan, I’m pretty much useless, aren’t I?” Gaige mumbled. “What do you mean by that?” Keiran glanced at him to find his lover staring intently into the forest, his gaze fierce and troubled, but he could tell Gaige wasn’t really seeing anything. Gaige shifted his pack to a more comfortable position on his back, and still without meeting Keiran’s gaze, said, with a husky catch to his voice, “I may be part draegan, but I don’t have any significant draegan traits. I can’t speak the language, can’t do the magick, can’t take winged form.” He shook his head and huffed out a defeated sigh. “I’ll never even be able to raise and lower an opening in a screen like this myself. I’ll always be dependent on you or one of the other draegans.” Keiran closed the opening in the barrier. “Tell me…can you see the screen?” Gaige slowly turned his gaze toward the area where the invisible-to-humans barrier stretched through the forest. “Faintly. If I concentrate. It’s like…like a shimmer amongst the trees that’s there, but not quite.” He lifted Gaige’s hand and held it out with his palm facing the magick barrier. “Can you feel it?” Concentration furrowed lines on his lover’s forehead and around his mouth. “I feel something. A faint buzz.” 57


“To humans, the barrier is invisible and keeps everything on the other side of it invisible to them. Even if one of us were to stand on the other side and see them, they wouldn’t see us, just the illusion of more forest, and they’d feel a strong subliminal urge to go a different way.” Keiran smiled. “A human would never be able to see or feel it as you’ve described. Only one with draegan blood can do so.” He’d piqued Gaige’s interest now…he felt it in the tingle of surprise radiating from him. “Hold out both your hands and close your eyes.” When Gaige did, Keiran continued. “Concentrate on that buzz you feel.” He stroked a hand along his lover’s arm beneath his damp cloak, feeling the faint tremor of his muscles as he focused. He shouldn’t be doing this now, when Gaige’s energy reserves were already overtaxed, but he realized Gaige craved reassurance that he wasn’t a liability, and there was no better place to start than right here. Keiran let his hand linger on his forearm, trying to infuse him with some of his strength to lean on without letting any of his own magick bleed over into his mate’s attempts. It was important Gaige do this himself. “Do you feel it?” he asked. Gaige nodded. “Good. Let it gather and build until it becomes a solid wall of heat and energy against your hands.” He closed his own eyes and focused on Gaige and what he was feeling, experiencing. It was like riding on the coattails of Gaige’s thoughts, his emotions, watching but not interfering. ::Now, when you’re ready, say these words aloud: Il’ 58


arrandia vhel. Say them while focusing on the energy of the screen, with the intention of creating an opening.:: Several seconds passed. He felt Gaige concentrating on the energy, felt his uncertainty, but at the same time a determination to prevail. “Il’ arrandia vhel,” he murmured, his voice low and raspy, his tiredness seeping into the words, but his intent strong. His eyes suddenly flew open and he jerked his hands back as if he’d been burned. “Shit!” Keiran opened his eyes at the same time and smiled. “Well done.” “Well done?” Gaige was rubbing his hands together and grimacing. “All I accomplished was zapping myself on the damned thing.” Keiran snagged one of his hands again, but this time moved it toward the barrier…and through it, or rather through the opening that now existed. Shock sent a flush of red to Gaige’s pale cheeks, and his eyes opened wide like swirling twin whirlpools of blue. He stared at the opening in the screen, then at Keiran, then back to the screen. “I did that?” “You did.” “You didn’t help?” he asked, his gaze suspicious. “Because I’ve seen you do it and you don’t speak anything out loud.” “I didn’t do anything except tell you how to channel the energy. If you practice, you’ll be able to do it without speaking as well. You’ll be able to think the words, or even 59


just have a strong intention, and it’ll work. The words are like using a magnifying lens, if you will. The magick, the real magick, is inherent in draegans. So all it really takes is concentration and intention. The words just help focus that intention. Now…what was that you were saying about being useless?” Keiran teased. He seemed to be at a loss for a response. “You don’t know how to do these things, Gaige, because you’ve never learned. We don’t know yet what you are and aren’t capable of, but we’ll figure it out. I told you, now you not only have your mother’s blood running through your veins, you have mine.” Gaige continued to rub his hands as he studied Keiran. “You said that before. What do you mean by it?” “For draegans, when we do the blood-letting ritual during the joining, it’s not just symbolic. It literally merges our blood. Your blood becomes part of me, and mine part of you. It, along with the physical joinings we shared, binds us together in every way, brings us closer…like the sharing of thoughts and emotions. And for you, because you aren’t full draegan, the blood-letting gave you an extra infusion of draegan blood.” “But it was such a small amount…just our hands pressed together.” Keiran inclined his head in a half-nod. “Yes, but draegan blood is different from human blood. A little goes a long way.” What he didn’t add was that it wasn’t just any draegan 60


blood he’d shared with Gaige. Again the niggling guilt that he hadn’t been completely forthcoming with his mate gnawed at him. Soon. Soon he’d have no choice but to tell him. “You asked me before we left Kellesborne if I’d ever had vivid dreams before,” Gaige said. “Do you think something about our joining is causing them?” “It may be. It’s possible you’ve always had some latent ability to have dreamings and the joining has brought it to the forefront.” “Dreamings?” “From time to time a draegan is born with the ability to foresee things—things that haven’t yet come to pass—and one of the ways it can manifest is in dreams. Dreamings, we call them.” “You’re saying my dreams might be prophetic? I’m not sure I like that idea.” Keiran felt a hint of uncertainty and fear in Gaige’s words, in his thoughts, and he knew he was remembering the dream about Kellesborne. “I don’t know. But even if they are, just because you see something in a dreaming, it doesn’t mean it’s a certainty. Every action we take, every word we speak has the power to alter fate. Nothing is written in stone.” Gaige didn’t look comforted or convinced. Which made the next thing Keiran said even harder to get out, but Gaige deserved to know. Best to prepare him. “You may find that you have other new abilities also. Besides the dreams, if they are, indeed, actual dreamings.” 61


“Other abilities?” Again that frisson of fear. “Only time will tell.” Keiran wrapped a hand behind Gaige’s hooded head and pulled him into a kiss, wishing he could devour his mate’s fears as easily as he could devour his lips. “All I’m saying is don’t make light of what you have to offer the draegans and those in Velensperia who need to be championed against Byram,” he said softly. “Even if you were full human, with no draegan blood at all, you could make a difference. You already have. Think of the villagers at Thrythgar and their children you helped before you realized your heritage.” He gave him a pointed look. Gaige took in a ragged breath. “I wish I could be certain I did help them and didn’t lead them to their deaths in the Crystallian Caves where I sent them. Byram, when he captured me, knew that’s where they’d gone. I’ve no doubt he sent troops in after them.” “As soon as we’re back in camp, we’ll send a tracker out to check. But don’t discount the villagers’ ability to protect themselves and those they love. They may very well be stronger than you think.” “I know,” Gaige whispered. “I have to hope that.” “You did the right thing. You followed your instincts. Followed your heart. That’s all any of us can do.” He pressed his lips to his lover’s again for another brief, reassuring kiss. “In the meantime”—he turned and slipped through the opening in the barrier—“let’s go get you a hot bath and bed.” Gaige’s disgruntled huff had Keiran turning to look back over his shoulder at him. “What?” 62


“I told you, you don’t need to coddle me.” “Who says it’s for you?” he taunted with a grin, as he brought the shield back up. “Maybe I want a hot bath and a few hours of sleep on something softer than the cold, hard ground. Maybe I was just being nice in offering to share.” Even with the hood of his cloak pulled low over his face to keep out the sleet, Gaige’s tired smile and soft laugh lit up the morning and filled Keiran’s chest with warmth. “Well, far be it from me to interfere with your pleasures, Oh, Great Draegan Leader.” As they walked through the forest, heading toward the camp, Gaige appeared thoughtful. Keiran didn’t probe, though he easily could have. He waited, hoping Gaige would share on his own whatever was on his mind. “The screen…” he finally said. “What of it?” “Why didn’t you use one when we were trapped in that damned sabeen den, so we could have gotten out of there sooner? For that matter, why not put up one around us when we’ve been traveling, to keep anyone from seeing our passage?” “A screen can only be in a fixed position,” Keiran explained. “You can’t put one up around yourself and move with it. And in the sabeen’s den, we were caught in that hole in the ground and surrounded on all sides by Byram’s troops. I did put up a screen at the entrance, but we were still trapped there with no way to escape until they left.” Gaige nodded. A short space of silence followed. Then… 63


“But what of the night here near the camp, shortly after we met, when the detachment of Byram’s men stopped for a rest break? Couldn’t you have put one up between us and them when we first saw them that would have allowed us to get back to camp unseen rather than having to hide in the cave?” Keiran couldn’t stop the smile that teased at the corners of his mouth. Guilty. And, really, he shouldn’t be surprised that Gaige had put two and two together. His mate was intelligent after all. A fact in which Keiran took great pride. Gaige turned his head to glance at him. “Is that question amusing?” Keiran didn’t respond right away, until Gaige prodded with a warning growl. “Keiran?” “Maybe I wasn’t keen on escaping that night,” he said. “Maybe I was right where I wanted to be in the cave…” He let the words hang in the air, and knew the moment Gaige comprehended because Gaige stopped in his tracks. Keiran paused next to him and turned to face him. “That was the first night we…” Gaige’s voice, already low and husky, caught. “You were glad we ended up trapped there alone together.” “I’d wanted you since I met you. But I hadn’t realized until that night how much you wanted me, too. And then there we were, with Byram’s men coming toward us and you conveniently pointing to the cave, and…” He shrugged. “I wasn’t sure when I’d ever get you alone again. I told you, I’m no fool.” “And so you seduced me?” A faint smile curved Gaige’s 64


lips. “It felt pretty mutual to me. And I didn’t hear any complaints from you, as I recall.” Sudden erotic visions involving him and Gaige, nude, twined together, their bodies moving in tandem filled Keiran’s head, causing him to draw in a sharp breath. But what shocked him was when he realized it wasn’t his own imagination conjuring them. What he saw were visions Gaige was projecting at him. Keiran stared at him and discovered the other man’s earlier smile gone. Instead, Gaige’s gaze was intense and openly hungry. Jolts of energy shot through his body straight into his balls, stirring to life an instant erection that strained against the leather lacing of his pants. ::Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me?:: Gaige responded by pulling Keiran against him and wedging their groins together with a hand on his lower back. Clearly he did know. Even in the cold, wet air, the heat radiating off his mate was overwhelming, and Keiran fast discovered it was no insignificant bulge that ground against his own hard cock. Gaige captured his cheek in one of his hands and his mouth closed over Keiran’s, his lips chilled, but his questing tongue hot as flame. It felt as if Gaige were trying to imprint himself on him. And Keiran responded in kind. Their tongues tangled, their teeth clashed, their groins thrust together. “Need you. Now.” Gaige tore his lips away long enough to 65


speak, his words part plea, part demand. “Here?” Keiran asked, surprised…and yet somehow not. “Yes. Here. Before…” His fair brows furrowed. He didn’t have to finish. Keiran knew. Before they got into the camp and their lives became not their own again. Before those who wouldn’t want Gaige here could stir trouble. At least that was Gaige’s perspective and the root of his desperation. And Keiran had no will to deny his mate anything. In spite of the man’s exhaustion and pain, he’d give him whatever he wanted. He’d share his strength, his love, and anything else he could if it gave Gaige the assurance he needed. Without further questioning, Keiran grabbed his hand and tugged him into a dense stand of tall pine trees where they’d be less conspicuous should anyone from the camp be wandering out here along the border near the shield. Gaige was already dropping his pack, bow and quiver as Keiran pulled his own off his shoulders. And then they were kissing again, mouths fused in greedy worship, hands seeking, finding skin, fingers spreading against flesh at their waists, then moving to the front to fumble in frantic unison with the laces on their pants. The soft whoosh of leather sliding down signaled freedom, as did the chilled air against hot, moist genitals. The sharp contrast had them both sucking in gasps…until their needy cocks bumped together, and the gasps became low groans of pleasure. As much as Keiran loved being inside Gaige, as much as he craved losing himself in the consuming depths of his 66


lover’s body, he didn’t think here, in the woods, in a raw, wild fucking was the way to ease Gaige back into the pleasures of being penetrated. Not with the cancerous memories of being raped by Byram still haunting him, and Byram’s marks on his body not yet fully healed. “Do me,” he urged. “It’ll be easier for you.” “No.” The insistence in Gaige’s voice caused his pulse to race. “I need you in me. Need to be yours again, Keiran. Fuck me. And don’t hold back.” His cool hands kneaded Keiran’s ass, inciting flames that licked through his body. “Shit,” Keiran whispered, barely able to get anything past his suddenly dry throat. “Are you sure?” “Keiran!” His name was an exasperated, desperate growl. He didn’t have to be told twice. He kissed his lover again, then turned him and pushed him against one of the massive tree trunks, lust and love spiraling at his deepest core, driving him beyond all need for civility. Gaige anchored his hands on it without question and spread his legs as best he could with his pants around his thighs. Keiran pushed his lover’s cloak to the side, exposing the pale flesh of his ass. The sight, intimate and sexy, only fueled the fire burning in Keiran. He stroked the muscular globes, eliciting grunts of appreciation from Gaige that were obvious pleasure, not pain. When he slid a finger along his crease and pressed the tip against the tight ring of muscle, the grunts grew breathless and pleading. The sounds, erotic as hel, almost undid him—his cock wept in response, wanting to be buried in that welcoming hole. 67


But first things first… He dropped to his knees and pressed his face against the cool, damp skin. With a sense of urgency, he kissed and licked over each of the bold red welts, the thin, raised, angry cuts, and the yellowish-green bruises that marred what should have been smooth perfection. It took all his control to keep his fury at Byram, the fucking evil bastard, under a tight leash. Instead, he directed that energy at covering every mark with his own more intimate attention. Gaige made soft moaning noises in the back of his throat as Keiran worked, but didn’t move, as if he needed this as much as Keiran did. Never again would anyone touch his mate but him, Keiran thought fiercely. Never again. He slid one hand between Gaige’s legs to stroke his heavy balls and with his other parted the flesh of Gaige’s ass to reveal his quivering hole. He flicked the tip of his tongue over it, savoring the texture, and the responsive way Gaige rocked against him. Damn, the man felt and smelled and tasted good, and the way his body trembled under Keiran’s ministrations was as arousing to Keiran as the needy little noises he made. When Keiran brought his tongue back to bear on him, rimming circles around the opening, then plunging inside, Gaige’s shudder tore through them both. “Oh, gods, yes!” Gaige gasped, not making any attempt to be quiet. And Keiran didn’t want him to be. He wanted to wrest away Gaige’s usual quiet reserve and make him moan and 68


shout and cry out as he gave himself up to their lovemaking. He wanted Gaige to not hold back, just as he’d asked Kieran not to. In spite of the exhaustion hanging over them both, the powerful need to consume and be consumed by one another built between them, sizzling back and forth along the mental and emotional links that joined them. There’d be time later for sweet and tender. This, Keiran knew, in some hazy, fasteroding, logical part of his mind, was about coming together in the rawest, most primal act, to remember they were alive and still one in spite of all that had happened. And, he realized with a start, he wanted, with almost terrifying ferocity, to take back what was his as much as Gaige wanted to be reclaimed. Keiran tongued him with quick, hard jabs, then slow, languid ones, licking, sucking, probing again, until Gaige shook and whimpered unintelligible words that still managed to convey his high state of arousal and his appreciation for Keiran’s attention. The thick length of Gaige’s cock pulsated in Keiran’s hand. A thin stream of seed oozed from his slit and Keiran used it to rub slick circles over and around his glans. All the sensual attention soon had his lover’s body vibrating so hard Keiran knew he was near the breaking point. “Please, need you… Fuck me!” Gaige rasped. Keiran rose and, in a swift movement, licked his hands and rubbed his turgid shaft, activating his natural lubricant. Gaige’s lean hips writhed and his ass jutted closer. “Damn it, Keiran…do it now!” Wrapping one arm around Gaige’s waist and using the 69


other to guide his prick, Keiran’s bulbous head found the slick, puckered ring and pushed in just far enough to stretch the spasming muscles and give Gaige a chance to get used to the fullness. Though his every instinct urged him to drive in hard and fast, to plunder as deeply and thoroughly as possible, to screw Gaige into delirium, he held back, suddenly afraid of being too rough, too out of control. But once again, Gaige had his own thoughts on the matter. He thrust back against him, forcing Keiran into him all the way to the root in one swift, agonizing movement, ripping moans from both of them. Gaige trembled and let out another guttural groan as they stayed frozen like that, with him impaled to the hilt on Keiran. His hands, still braced on the tree, flexed against the bark, his fingernails digging ridges in its soft surface. “Gods almighty,” Keiran murmured, as the heat and pressure of Gaige’s passage bore down on his cock with such ferocity he grew lightheaded. He curled his fingers around Gaige’s hip and pushed in an infinitesimal bit farther. “You’re so fucking hot and tight. So fucking mine.” The last word came out as a growl. “Yours,” Gaige whispered in urgent agreement. “Even…even when he…” His voice broke and what sounded like a sob escaped him, tearing at Keiran’s heart and filling him with fury at Byram all over again. “I know,” he murmured, leaning forward and pulling Gaige’s hood back, then grasping his chin and turning his head until their lips met. Their week-old beards scraped one 70


another’s skin in a rough, sensuous caress. “I know, m’aerlas.” “I need you so much.” “I’m here for you. Tell me what you want and I’ll gladly give you anything.” He pulled partway out of Gaige, only to plunge back in again, seating himself even deeper. Gaige’s eyes closed in an expression of tortured ecstasy. “Again,” he whispered. Keiran withdrew almost to the tip of his shaft this time before forcing his way back into the searing, blissful depths of his mate’s body. “Again. Harder.” Over and over Keiran ploughed into him, the icy rain forgotten, the scent of wet pine and forest moss, male sweat and musky desire swirling together, the sounds of their bodies’ suction as they moved, and of flesh slapping against flesh all branded into Keiran’s senses. The erotic sight of his thick length sliding in and out of his lover’s clenching hole made his balls ache. Made his chest ache as well, as love for this man overwhelmed him. Gods, they were good together. Perfect together. He slid his arm up, until it wrapped around Gaige’s chest, and leaned against him, holding him close. Their hands moved to Gaige’s cock at the same time and worked as a team to bring him off, their strokes in counterpoint to Keiran’s fierce, unapologetic ravaging. “Don’t stop,” Gaige begged, his voice hoarse with emotion. “Don’t ever stop.” 71


Keiran felt him teetering on the brink…both physically and emotionally. He suspected that when they came, it would be with an intensity that would either free Gaige at last from his demons, or break him once and for all. And yet he couldn’t stop. Couldn’t, even now, deny the man anything. A sudden, agonizing pins and needles sensation ripped through his testicles, causing his breathe to seize in his lungs. “Holy…unh!” His cock felt like it was lengthening, delving impossibly deeper inside Gaige, anchoring them together until he couldn’t move, couldn’t pull out. What? Why was this happening now? This same thing had occurred during their initial joining, but it shouldn’t be happening again. Yet he couldn’t fight it any more than he could stop breathing. And at the most primal center of his being, he didn’t want to fight it. It felt right. Powerful. Claiming what was his. He tossed his head back, his eyes squeezed closed, and gasped for air as he hovered on a razor-fine edge between searing pain and soul-shattering pleasure. “Fuck…fuck!” Beneath him, Gaige seemed to be experiencing the same balancing act…Keiran felt his reactions in tandem with his own. Then, in a moment of blinding agony and ecstasy, liquid fire coursed up his cock and burst from his slit, gushing into the deepest recesses of Gaige’s core. Mine! “Gods….gods…” Gaige panted. “Oh, GODS, Keiran!” His body stiffened, then convulsed so hard, for a brief moment it scared the shit out of Keiran. Until he felt rivers of hot cum 72


jetting into his hand and dripping between his fingers. And then more. And more…as if Gaige had been holding back a never-ending reservoir of it for just this moment. Which was the last sensible memory he had before another wave of magma raced up his shaft and exploded, opening his own floodgates as well. For long moments he bucked against Gaige as he emptied everything into his mate, including, he was certain, his soul.

73


CHAPTER 4

Gaige sagged against Keiran’s arm, grateful for its support since he wasn’t certain his legs or his own arms, still clutching the tree, would hold him up. ::I love you so much.:: A second passed, then two before Gaige realized it wasn’t Keiran saying it to him in his mind—it was him telling Keiran. What in hel? Shock billowed through him. He’d never been able to do that before. He could hear Keiran in his mind, yes, but it had always been one-sided. He’d never been able to mind-talk back. He turned to look at Keiran to see if he’d noticed. But 74


instead of the surprise he expected to find, he saw fierce love and—and was it pride?—shining in his lover’s silver-gray eyes. Had Keiran heard him or had he just imagined he’d said it telepathically? Keiran lips formed a smile so sexy it made Gaige’s breath catch. ::You didn’t imagine it. Other abilities, remember? And I love you, too. More than you could know.:: He dragged a hand over Gaige’s damp hair, then kissed him with such hunger, Gaige’s cock stirred from its sleepy slumber in spite of the mind-bending climax he and Keiran had just shared. He felt Keiran rousing inside him as well, his shaft thickening and pulsing. Draegans were a virile species, and it was a trait Gaige had always had, though until recently he hadn’t known his ability to experience multiple orgasms was a gift of his draegan heritage. The only problem this time was that he wasn’t sure his overtaxed, tired body could keep up with his randy cock, no matter how much he wished it. Still, Keiran’s warm mouth was a slice of heaven in and of itself and he was loath to give it up anytime soon. Keiran tasted of him, but also of love and comfort and strength and sex all rolled into one. Gaige couldn’t have stopped his tongue from delving into his lover’s mouth if he’d tried, twining with Keiran’s in a slow dance that left him dizzy. That is until Keiran’s hand slid up to cup his cheek, at which point Gaige pulled his lips free to suck each of the draegan’s fingers into his mouth, cleaning them of his own sticky remains. He heard Keiran draw in a hissing breath, felt his cock 75


throb again inside his ass, and in that moment Gaige knew that although his body might not cooperate for another climax of its own, he was more than willing—downright eager, in fact— to be the receptacle for Keiran to find another release. He pulled Keiran’s middle finger farther into his mouth, sucking in a slow, undulating motion, until he heard Keiran moan, felt him shift inside Gaige, sliding deeper. ::Do it, babe. Come again,:: he urged, once again using the silent mind speech before he even realized it. Surprise, then guilt radiated off Keiran…Gaige felt them eddying through himself, almost as if the emotions were his own, though he knew they weren’t. He was beginning to be able to tell the difference. Keiran’s always had a shimmer of earthy power to them that Gaige suspected came from fullblooded draegan magick. ::No,:: Keiran said. ::I don’t want to hurt you. I’ve already taken more than I should.:: Love flooded Gaige at Keiran’s selflessness. His mate meant it, and would do the honorable thing if he thought it best for Gaige. But Gaige wasn’t going to let him off that easily because he knew what Keiran truly desired. ::Don’t be a stubborn ass. I want you to.:: He rotated his backside against Keiran’s groin, relishing the sensation of the soft, damp curls of the other man’s pubic hair abrading his skin. He pulled a second of Keiran’s fingers into his mouth, threading his tongue over and around them both, between them, then resuming the wanton sucking that seemed to arouse his mate no end. 76


::Is it the sucking itself that excites you…or the fact I’m licking my own cum off your fingers? Cum you milked from me as you fucked me so thoroughly.” Keiran shuddered against him. “Both,” he groaned. :: Come for me again, Keiran. I want to feel your seed flooding me again, dripping out of me just like you promised.:: “Bloody hel!” Keiran’s voice was ragged. “You shouldn’t taunt me this way.” Gaige thrust back against him, encouraging him. ::Do it.:: ::When’d you get so bossy?:: But his hips had begun to move, his cock rocking into Gaige in a slow, measured motion that felt better than it ought to considering the hard ride Keiran had just taken him on. ::When’d you get so stubborn that you don’t want to make love to your mate?:: ::Nag.:: ::Cock tease.:: He clenched his muscles tight around Keiran’s prick, bringing Keiran’s hands to his hips for support and drawing a guttural groan from him. ::Ah, gods! You know exactly what effect you have on me, don’t you? I love you so damned much, Gaige.:: Unexpected moisture welled in Gaige’s eyes. “I love you, too.” Keiran relented and surged into him then, fucking him in a slow, sweet motion that made Gaige’s entire body tingle, from his toes to the hair on his head. ::Not going to last long…it’s too good. It always is between us.:: 77


It always was. Gaige couldn’t deny it. He’d had many sexual partners over the years—they never seemed to be lacking when you were the captain of Byram’s High Guard and eager soldiers wanted promotions. Most of the encounters had been one-night fucks with no purpose other than to find release. He’d never, until he met Keiran, wanted more than that. Had never realized how much friendship and love affected the physical aspects of coupling. With Keiran, even in the most hard-edged, passionate moments it was never just fucking. It was lovemaking. And it brought a fulfillment to the act he’d never known existed. Their bodies undulated together, and as Keiran’s motions become more focused, more intense, Gaige realized his own cock throbbed and he was close to finding another climax also, in spite of the fact he hadn’t thought it possible. He wrapped a hand around it to help it along. Keiran’s organ grew even harder inside him and thrummed in a rhythm Gaige felt throughout his entire body. Then, with powerful thrusts that left Gaige gasping and hanging onto the tree with a death grip, Keiran ground out his release with a shout, pouring copious bursts of warm cum into him. At the same time, his hand closed over the top of Gaige’s on his cock, and a few firm strokes later he, too, raced to the edge and plunged. Unsteady and breathing hard, this time Gaige was certain he wasn’t going to be able to stay on his feet without help. And Keiran, gods love him, seemed to know that. His spent cock slipped free, leaving Gaige hollow and aching to be filled 78


again. But before he had a chance to protest, Keiran was turning him, pressing him in a gentle motion back against the tree trunk for support, then stepping close and offering his own body like a steady, muscular pillar on the front. He slid his arms around Gaige’s waist, encouraging him to lean on him. Gaige did, grateful, resting his forehead against Keiran’s as they both caught their breath. Keiran skimmed his fingertips over his cheek, his gaze filled with love and worry. “You okay?” Gaige took an accounting of his state and realized that although he felt raw and sore and well-used, he was filled with an inexplicable joy and peace. “Yeah,” he said with a tired smile. “I really am.” He tried to open his mind and let Keiran feel what he was feeling, and decided it must be working when Keiran’s dark brows shot up and then the lines of tension around his eyes and mouth faded to be replaced with a half-smile. “You never cease to amaze me,” he said. He kissed Gaige’s forehead, then his lips. With their passion sated, at least for the moment, questions began to stir in Gaige. “So why did the joining thing happen again?” His insides still quivered from the intensity of it. “That’s what it was, right? I thought it was a one-time deal for each of us—you inside me, me inside you.” “It usually is. This was…unexpected. I’m not sure why it happened again.” His thumb brushed over Gaige’s lips. “Maybe we needed to reconnect.” “After Byram, you mean,” Gaige said softly, able to say it 79


and think about it for the first time without some part of his mind shutting down into blackness. Keiran nodded. “Yeah. Or…” He paused and his gaze grew troubled, uncertain. “Or?” Gaige encouraged. “I…I don’t know. And, damn it, I should know! But it’s been so long since something like this has happened.” “You’ve lost me here.” “It’s complicated.” “What aren’t you telling me, Keiran? I’ve sensed you holding something back for days now.” At Keiran’s startled look, Gaige shrugged. “You aren’t the only one who can read emotions.” For a moment Gaige thought he was going to deny it. But then he sighed and looked resigned. “You’re right. I’m sorry. There are…things. Things I need to talk to you about, explain. But not here.” He shook his head. “Not out here. We need privacy.” “It seems pretty private to me…just you, me and the forest.” “It’s not,” Keiran said in a low voice. His sudden change in tone mixed with the ripple of tension that radiated off him, brought Gaige’s senses to alert. “We’ve had an audience,” Keiran continued, still in a soft volume. “I was so caught up in us I didn’t realize it until just a few moments ago.” Cold prickles crawled up Gaige’s spine and had him reaching down to drag up his pants and retie them in short 80


order. Keiran did the same. “Somebody’s been watching us?” Gaige whispered. “For how long? And why didn’t you say something sooner?” “Honestly? Because you were so relaxed I hated to disturb you. And I’m not sure how long.” “Long enough to get an eyeful?” “It’s possible. They’re gone now. But even if they did see, we have every right and reason to couple as we see fit.” “Yeah…but have you forgotten that the camp knows me only as Byram’s right-hand? Somehow, I don’t think they’re going to be forgiving that their leader’s been fucking with the enemy in the woods.” He pulled away from Keiran, flipped his hood back up, though the sleet had stopped for the moment, and reached down to retrieve his pack and weapons. Keiran grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back up, swinging him around to face him. “Stop it. I don’t want to hear you say anything else like that.” His tone was firm, almost as if he were scolding a wayward youth, which sent a streak of anger through Gaige. He shook free of Keiran’s grip. “Don’t talk to me like I’m child. And don’t brush off my concerns as if they don’t mean anything because you know damn well they do. The last time I was in this camp I was someone else, someone who worked side by side with the draegans and humans under your care, convincing them to trust me so I could gain information about them, the camp, you, then turn you all over to Byram to be destroyed. Now, the disguise is gone. How do you think they’re going to feel when they see me? It’s not like my 81


damned hair doesn’t give me away. The White Panther. That’s all they’ll see.” He reached for his belongings again and, as he rose to his full height, slipped them over his shoulders, wincing as the straps dug into still-tender skin. Keiran didn’t try to stop him this time, but he did touch Gaige’s hand. When Gaige didn’t pull away, he wrapped his fingers through his. “I’m sorry. Truly. I didn’t mean to sound patronizing. I just… Damn it, Gaige, I don’t like to hear you talk about yourself that way. You’re not the enemy.” Gaige sighed and felt the weight of the world shift back onto his shoulders. “The people in camp don’t know that, Keiran.” He turned and began walking in the general direction of the camp. His every instinct told him he was crazy, that he should be going the opposite direction, trying to put as much distance as possible between himself and this place, where he felt certain he’d not only find no welcome, he might also end up drawn and quartered. But the damned agonizing knot in his gut that served as his conscience wouldn’t let him. It insisted he continue putting one foot in front of the other because, whether the people in camp hated him or not, he needed to know they’d been warned about Byram and would be protected. Keiran will warn them, take care of them. Cut your losses while you can and get out of here. No. He slammed the door shut on the pestering little voice in his head. No, he wasn’t running away like a coward. He’d 82


started this mess by coming to the camp undercover for Byram. And even though he hadn’t given up its location or disclosed a single name or detail about anything, if it weren’t for him, Keiran wouldn’t have gone to Thrythgar, recklessly exposing himself to Byram and his troops, and almost died trying to save Gaige’s life. And Byram wouldn’t now be on the warpath after Gaige for not only escaping, but killing General Rizik. He owed it to Keiran and these people to stand at their sides and fight…if they’d let him. ::It wasn’t your fault.:: Keiran caught up to him, his strides matching Gaige’s determined ones. ::None of what’s happened is your fault.:: Gaige didn’t stop and didn’t look at him. ::The high sorcerer’s no doubt furious you escaped, yes, but it’s me he really wants dead.:: ::You think I don’t know that, Keiran? It’s why I came here in the first place, remember? Kill the rabble-rousing draegan leader and all who follow him!:: ::Yes, but it’s more than that now. He…:: Keiran sighed. ::He’s realized I’m not just an upstart rabble-rouser. He knows now that I’m a firebreather. And that changes everything for him.:: Gaige turned his head to look at him, torn between his continued self-recrimination, and confusion at Keiran’s words. ::Why?:: Keiran stared at the ground as they hiked, the lines around his mouth and eyes tight once again. ::Because he thought us all dead. He thought he’d killed us all a hundred years ago in 83


his first strike against the draegans.:: ::I know you said being able to breathe fire isn’t all that common, but why is that so important to Byram?:: Gaige felt a jumble of churning emotions in Keiran he couldn’t quite sort out—anger, sadness, worry, fear, guilt. ::Because I’m the last of my kind,:: Keiran said, his voice gruff in Gaige’s mind. ::And because…:: He faltered, leaving Gaige hanging for several seconds before finally finishing the thought. ::Because the only draegans who breathe fire are those descended from the bloodline of the true draegan lords.:: Gaige stopped, his heart pounding, and turned to gape at Keiran. “What? But I thought—” ::Not out loud. Please. I don’t want anyone else to know.:: Keiran’s gaze was steady, but his words had an undertone of pleading that Gaige had never heard from him before. Not sure why it seemed so hard to drag air into his lungs, Gaige glanced around and realized they’d come upon the camp and had stopped near a handful of tents at the edge of it. Looking back at his lover, he made a mental effort to switch to the silent communication he’d so recently discovered. ::I thought the draegan lords were all dead, the line destroyed by Byram when he came into power.:: ::That’s what he thought, too. What he intended. And what almost happened.:: Keiran grimaced and a wave of grief so profound it make Gaige ache all over rolled off him. His eyes, staring off into nowhere as if he were lost in old memories, grew distant, glazed. ::I was there. The night he struck, in the 84


village of Ilyrie. I saw…:: He swallowed hard, the knob in his throat sliding up and down so slowly it looked as if it hurt him to accomplish the simple act. ::That’s impossible. It happened a hundred years ago, Keiran. You couldn’t have been there.:: Keiran’s gaze slid back to meet his, and what Gaige saw shook him to the depths of his being—a time-worn weariness and the soul of one much older than he’d ever imagined. ::No…it can’t be.:: Gaige felt himself breathing hard, fighting to drag in and expel air. ::You…:: He shook his head. ::No.:: He had to have heard Keiran wrong. ::Yes. I was there. I was a boy and I watched everyone I loved die.::

85


CHAPTER 5

Gaige couldn’t move, couldn’t speak…he could only stare at his lover as his chest squeezed and his mind raced. Tiny pieces to a puzzle he hadn’t even realized needed to be worked slipped into place, yet other jagged holes opened, leaving him with so many bigger, more painful questions he felt as if a wildcat’s claws had torn through his gut. “So, you’ve brought the traitor back into our midst,” a deep, harsh voice said from behind them, startling them both and breaking the silence. Gaige’s pulse faltered at hearing the one person he’d hoped to avoid. He looked over his shoulder at the intruder. Jax’s tall, powerful frame unfolded from the trees, his long 86


black braids swinging against his back, the expression on his tanned, rugged face nothing short of hostile. “Jax.” Keiran’s tone was neutral on the surface, but Gaige thought he also heard a note of caution in it. “Tell me,” the fierce draegan said, “where did you find him after he escaped from you at Kellesborne, Keiran? What lies did he tell you this time, to convince you to believe he’s oh-so-innocent and wasn’t running to tell all to his beloved high sorcerer?” “You need to close your mouth right now, my friend,” Keiran said, a muscle clenching along his jaw that belied his calm tone, “before you say anything else you’ll end up regretting.” Pure military instinct had already sent Gaige’s hand to the vrieg on his belt. He didn’t trust Jax. Didn’t know what kind of a past the draegan shared with Keiran either, but understood they’d been friends a long time. That didn’t have to make him Gaige’s friend though. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw shadows creeping near. Several people from the camp had no doubt heard Jax’s booming voice and come to investigate. Damn it all. Just what they needed. An audience. Then it occurred to him on an intuitive level that an audience was no doubt what Jax wanted. Jax was probably the one who’d been watching them. Then he’d followed them, but waited until they were in camp before confronting them. Gaige swore softly under his breath. He recognized a setup when he saw it. 87


“I’m not the one with regrets.” Jax’s sneer, his body language, and the way he paced a circle around them like a hunter stalking prey spoke volumes about his current state—a state Gaige knew wasn’t going to be soothed by Keiran or anyone else. Gaige had been a leader of men long enough to learn how to read people well, and Jax, at this moment, was a man pushed to the edge. By Gaige, by something in his past…it didn’t matter. He was forcing a confrontation here, and there’d be no talking him out of it. “No, I have no regrets,” Jax continued. “I’m not the one who’s allowed this human scum to manipulate me, to turn my head, twist my balls into knots, and force me to think with my prick .” His lip curled. “For all the gods’ sakes, Keiran, in spite of the danger to our people, and knowing who and what he is, you still can’t keep your hands off him. Your scent is all over him, and his all over you. You reek of one another.” “Watch. Your. Words,” Keiran warned. Aware the crowd around them had grown, Gaige wanted to draw as little extra attention to himself as possible. He kept his mouth shut, but eased closer to Keiran. At the same time, Keiran moved toward him, both of them instinctively adopting a loose, back-to-back fighting stance so they could better keep an eye on Jax as he paced around them. The chasm that had yawned between them before Jax showed up had disappeared, and they were once again moving, thinking, feeling as a connected unit. “You have no idea of what you speak,” Keiran said. “Your anger and hurt from your childhood have become a cancer 88


inside you that’s eating you away day by day. I’ve been watching it happen and it grieves me.” “It grieves you. Yes, I can see that. It’s so clear in the way you’ve tossed aside your loyal friends and responsibilities to go chasing off after a known enemy, all so you can bring him back here to flaunt him in front of us.” Something about his words settled just beneath the surface of Gaige’s skin like grains of sand, chafing, irritating. Tossed aside loyal friends. Bring him back here to flaunt him. Flaunt him? He looked into Jax’s onyx-colored eyes, which, at the moment, were focused with blazing intensity on Keiran. But beneath the draegan’s obvious anger, Gaige thought he caught a barely concealed flicker of hurt as well. And then it hit him like an armor-plated charging steed… Jax was in love with Keiran. Holy gods. The truth almost suffocated him, like being pushed below the surface of algae-coated stagnant water. Every breath pulled in more of the putrid liquid until his lungs choked from it. It explained so much…Jax’s overzealous protection of Keiran where Gaige was concerned. His instant dislike of Gaige. His dogged determination to prove to Keiran that Gaige was out to cause him harm. Gaige understood Jax’s family had been killed by Byram’s troops when Jax was just a child, and therefore he held no love for humans in general—or so Keiran had explained to him. But there’d always been something about that explanation that grated at Gaige because 89


there were plenty of other humans in the camp. And while Jax wasn’t friendly with them, he also wasn’t openly hostile to them either. Not like he’d been with Gaige from day one. But, of course, none of the other humans had captured Keiran’s attention or slept in his bed either. Gods…what kind of past had Jax and Keiran shared? Had they been lovers? Had Keiran ever, or did he still, love the big, angry draegan in return? The thought left Gaige cold and queasy. And jealous as well, damn it. All those thoughts ran through Gaige’s mind at the speed of heat lightning, but each second he watched Jax, the more convinced he became he was right. Keiran appeared too caught up in his own anger and emotions to pick up on Gaige’s, for which he was grateful. “We’ve all lost people we’ve loved, Jax,” Keiran was saying. “Friends, family. There isn’t a person here who hasn’t, including Gaige.” “Don’t even say his name in the same breath you mention my family!” Jax snarled. “It was his kind that murdered my family. Do you think anyone here is going to ever accept him, trust him? Do you think you can keep his identity hidden from the camp, Keiran?” With a sudden movement that happened so fast Gaige didn’t see it coming, Jax reached out and jerked the hood off Gaige’s head, exposing his face and pale, white-blond hair to the gathered crowd, drawing a collective hiss from them. Then he landed a heavy blow with his fist to Gaige’s shoulder—his injured shoulder—that dropped him to his knees like a stone. 90


Equally as fast, the sharp point of Keiran’s sword rested against Jax’s neck, just under his chin. “Don’t ever touch him again,” Keiran said between gritted teeth, his voice as deep and powerful and lordly as Gaige had ever heard it. But it didn’t faze Jax, who, in spite of the blade at his throat, looked around at the gathered crowd and addressed them. “This traitor your sainted leader covets, is a murderer. You’ve all heard the stories of the White Panther, Byram’s right hand, and the son of General Rizik. He and his father and his sorcerer have wielded the swords and arrows that have killed all our loved ones! He lived here amongst us for weeks, watching, making note of everything we did, gathering information for the high sorcerer so the sorcerer could kill us all. I heard it myself. Heard him speaking with Byram.” “You heard what you wanted to hear,” Keiran said, his voice growing dangerously cold. His eyes still watering from the agony in his shoulder, Gaige pulled off his pack, bow and quiver, and cloak, unable to bear the weight against his injury any longer. He clutched at his shoulder, then pulled his hand away to discover it red with blood that had seeped through his shirt. Jax’s blow had torn open the wound, which was taking longer than normal to heal already because of the poison that had been in the arrow. “Why don’t you tell them the rest of the story?” Keiran continued. “About how Gaige refused to do what the sorcerer requested and how the sorcerer threatened his life and the lives of the children in the village at Thrythgar if he didn’t follow orders.” 91


“Enough!” Gaige rasped, dragging together the last of his energy reserve and staggering to his feet. “I’m right here. You don’t have to keep talking around me like I’m not.” The hot thrum of anger built deep inside him. Anger at Jax, at himself, at his father and Byram, even at Keiran for trying to defend him when, in truth, he didn’t want or deserve it. “Why deny it?” he said, looking at the collected group of two dozen or more members of the camp, then at Keiran, whose eyes went wide when he saw the blood saturating Gaige’s shoulder. “I have done all the things he said. I blindly followed Byram’s orders for many long years. I fought his skirmishes, dealt out his punishments, and, yes, he sent me here to spy on the camp and report back to him.” “But you didn’t,” Keiran said fiercely. Gaige turned to him. “Keiran…” He switched to silent speech. ::You can’t keep fighting everything Jax is saying when much of it is fact. We can’t live under a constant cloud of suspicion. I can’t. The truth has to out, right now, for better or worse.:: Keiran’s eyes glistened like silver shards and Gaige felt him battling his protective instincts. He finally nodded. ::But we tell them everything, Gaige. The full truth, so they understand. That means if you don’t, I will.:: Gaige grimaced. ::Keiran…:: ::It’s the only way, m’aerlas.:: “Let him speak,” Jax goaded. “He’s just saying what we all already know. I tried to get you to string him up when I first discovered what he was up to, but you went soft on him, 92


decided to take him to Kellesborne to get him out of camp. Kellesborne…which is that much closer to Thrythgar, which made it even easier for him to return to his master when he escaped from you.” “I did go to Thrythgar,” Gaige said, answering for himself before Keiran could. “But not to the stronghold. I went to the village, to get the families with children to safety before Byram could hurt or kill them as he’d threatened me he would.” Jax snorted. Which only seemed to further incite Keiran—Gaige felt his anger ripple along the fine thread that connected them— though his voice, when he spoke was calm. “Need proof? Fine, send a runner out right now to the stronghold’s village. I’ll tell you what you’ll find…not a single child present, and the families hiding in the caves in the nearby mountains or already through the underground tunnels and seeking sanctuary in the towns of the eastern realms.” Gods I hope so, Gaige thought, feeling another tremor of worry and guilt in his gut over the fate of the villagers. “Oh, so now he’s a hero?” Jax’s icy laugh rang out through the cold morning air. “One minute he’s a liar and murderer and the next he’s helping children and families. How convenient.” “You have no idea what makes a hero,” Keiran said in a quiet voice. “No idea what price Gaige paid for that mission of mercy. After the villagers were safe, he was captured and taken to Byram’s dungeons.” 93


Hot bile choked Gaige. ::Keiran, please.:: “His dungeons,” Jax snorted. “Is that what he told you? Yet another lie in his tapestry of tricks and manipulations. How can you be so blind, Keiran? Your human probably shares the high sorcerer’s bed as well as his ear. Can’t you see that while you were trying to find him, he was no doubt cozied up with Byram over a hot dinner, a goblet of wine, and some congratulatory fucking over his job well done as a spy here.” “Don’t you ever open your mouth against Gaige again,” Keiran growled in a sound so deep and rabid the hair on Gaige’s arms and the back of his neck stood on end. A thin trickle of blood crept down Jax’s neck where the tip of Keiran’s sword pierced the skin. Keiran’s fury, flowing off him in thick, dark waves startled even Gaige with its intensity, and he swore he saw the air around Keiran shimmer as it had just before the one time he’d seen him shift into his winged form. He didn’t shift this time, but Gaige felt his powerful yearning to do so, to lash out at Jax, hovering just below the surface. “You know nothing. You are nothing compared to this man you’re so quick to condemn,” Keiran said. With his free hand, he reached out to Gaige and in a quick motion, sliced his shirt open with his own vrieg Gaige hadn’t seen him holding. ::No… Keiran, no!:: ::I’m sorry, beloved. So sorry. But they have to see to understand.:: He pulled the fabric free of Gaige’s skin, leaving him 94


exposed not only to the chill, damp air, but to the shocked gazes and whispered gasps of the collected group. Gaige closed his eyes against it all, letting the angry throb of his shoulder, and the matching one in his gut, ground him. “This is what happened in Byram’s dungeon,” Keiran told them. “This is how the high sorcerer rewards those who defy him. Yet no matter what Byram did to him, what horrors he inflicted upon him, Gaige never once gave us up. This is the price he paid for helping innocents, and for keeping the draegans’ secrets. I know,” he said, his voice thick with emotion, “because I cut him down from the bindings myself.” Gaige opened his eyes to find Keiran’s tumultuous gaze on him. ::I’m so sorry,:: he said again. He unfastened his cloak with one hand, tugged it off and started to wrap it around Gaige for protection. But before he could drape the heavy, scratchy wool over him, Gaige felt something else wrapping around, something soothing against his abused flesh. He turned to find Marta beside him, and the fabric was a cloak of the softest green velvet. “One of my boys found me. Iann and I came as fast as we could,” she said in a quiet voice meant for Gaige’s ears alone as she pressed a folded cloth against his bleeding shoulder. Her long, sandy-colored braid hung in a thick length down her back, and her hands at his shoulder were as strong and capable as any man’s he’d ever known, yet also gentle with a maternal touch. 95


Gaige saw Iann standing on Marta’s other side, one hand resting on the hilt of his sword hanging from his belt, the other flexing aged, but still strong, fingers at his side. The grizzled old draegan, with fine gray hair wafting around his shoulders and deep blue eyes that still sparkled with youthful light in spite of his advanced age, was the senior member of the draeganjhere at the camp and had always been a particular favorite of Gaige’s. He nodded at Gaige and Gaige felt an odd surge of reassurance. “Six days ago this happened,” Keiran said, speaking now to the group, but his voice still sounded hoarse as if he were getting sick. “And for six days this camp has continued to be safe. Is there anyone who believes we’d still be standing here right now if Byram had even an inkling where we were?” Murmurs and shaking heads responded. “It won’t be long before General Rizik comes looking for his recalcitrant son,” Jax said with a grunt. “And then the high sorcerer will know soon enough where to find us.” “General Rizik is dead,” Keiran said flatly. “Gaige killed him himself to save my life as we escaped Thrythgar.” A new wave of murmurs passed through the crowd, and for the first time in several minutes Gaige dared to meet the gazes of those gathered. What he saw left him shaken. The nods of approval, of appreciation tore at his insides. He didn’t deserve these people’s approval. ::And yet you can’t stop it. They’ll love you whether you want them to or not.:: Keiran’s voice was a gritty whisper in his head. ::Just as I do.:: 96


Their gazes met and, in that moment, a blanket of calm settled over Gaige. Whether it came from within himself or was a gift from Keiran, he wasn’t sure. He only knew that he felt a strange, yet steady sense of peace, just as he had in the woods earlier. In a swift motion, Keiran thrust Jax away and sheathed his sword. “We’re done here. Get out of my sight, Jax. And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay out of it for a while.” The large draegan didn’t appear the least bit cowed by Keiran or the events that had just transpired. Was he so far lost in his anger and jealousy he could no longer even hear the facts or listen to reason? Would he push on with his agenda, whatever it was? Yes. The thought stirred more discomfort in Gaige than he wanted to admit. In his opinion, Jax was a firestorm waiting to happen and when it did, he didn’t want Keiran or himself anywhere near. “So I’m dismissed then, am I? Your friend of forty years tossed aside, along with my valid concerns, so you can play with your human toy.” He spat the word human as if it were a disgusting lump of something stuck in his craw. Gaige was certain he saw the humans in the circle around them bristle with anger at Jax’s denigration of their species. Keiran stared at Jax with barely concealed disgust. “Gaige is blessed with the blood of both worlds. He’s part human and part draegan. His mother was a draegan—her name was Albione. But I would love him no matter his heritage. And, for the record, he isn’t my ‘toy.’ He is, in fact,” he said succinctly, “my mate. My true mate.” 97


Gaige’s heart pounded as Keiran grabbed his right hand, lifted it, and side-by-side with his, held them out so the people around them could see the identical thin, new red scars from the blood-letting that creased both their palms. “My gods of Erantz,” Marta murmured, squeezing her fingers around Gaige’s bicep. “There hasn’t been a truemating in decades. With so few of us left, the chances of finding a true mate are so small it would be almost impossible. And yet you two found each other…” Her excitement and wonder were contagious. While the humans showed polite interest, as if they weren’t quite sure what the big deal was, the draegans present gathered around and touched their hands almost reverently or grinned and patted them on the back. The sudden onset of bodies, and the outpouring of emotion overwhelmed Gaige. His heart pounded and his lungs squeezed, making it difficult to draw in air. Unsure how to cope, he desperately reached out for Keiran, using their telepathic link. Within seconds, the intensity of the sensations dampened, as if Keiran had put up some type of protective shield between the draegans and him. He could see them, hear them, but the press of their emotions and their eager contact were now muffled, as if coming to him from a distance, or through a thick pane of glass. He twined his fingers through Keiran’s and gave his hand a grateful squeeze. As he looked up from that, he caught sight of Jax, no longer at the center of attention, but standing at the edge of the 98


gathering. And for the first time since he’d confronted them, he showed a visible reaction to Keiran’s news. His ruddy skin had paled to the color of faded parchment, except for his cheeks, which blazed with bright red splotches. His dark eyes seemed to bulge from his head as he stared at Keiran’s and Gaige’s clasped hands. His gaze, as Gaige watched, slowly slid up to Keiran’s face. Keiran, speaking to a draegan woman, had his back partially turned and didn’t notice. The world around Gaige slowed to a crawl and all his senses honed in on Jax. He no longer heard anything but his own heart beat and steady breathing and, as he watched Jax staring at Keiran, Jax’s stuttered breaths. He saw Jax blink, saw a sharp moment of pain on his visage that, for one brief second, caused Gaige to feel sorry for him. Then it disappeared, hidden away as if it had never been. His stare grew hard and bitter. His hand, then his arm shifted. And in a moment of crystal clarity, Gaige knew what was about to happen. His long knife drawn, Jax lunged for Keiran. “Keiran!” Gaige shouted, and before Keiran could turn or react, Gaige, with a strength that came from raw adrenaline and fear, dove at Jax from the side. They tumbled to the ground with a jarring thud, in a tangle of arms and legs, as the bodies of those around them scrambled back out of the way. Jax was even taller than Gaige, and heavier, but Gaige, pushed beyond his own injuries and weaknesses by fury and a 99


burning need to protect what was his, came out on top. His left arm folded in a vise around Jax’s throat. His vrieg, which he’d drawn with his right hand as he moved, dug into the draegan’s skin under his jaw, just below his ear. He managed to get to his knees, then stagger to his feet, dragging the struggling, cursing draegan with him. “Stand up!” Gaige growled, and dug the vrieg in a hair deeper. At the same time, he kicked aside the long knife that had fallen from Jax’s hand when Gaige tackled him. Jax’s fingers bit into Gaige’s arm, trying to pry it away, but in spite of the near blinding pain in Gaige’s shoulder, he held fast. “You should mind your own business, boy,” Jax snapped. Oblivious to everything else around them, Gaige focused on the man who’d just tried to hurt his mate. “You throw accusations at me, yet you would kill your best friend just because you don’t want me to have him?” Gaige tightened his hold on Jax. “In what twisted world do you live?” “Fuck you,” Jax spat in a wheeze, trying again to jerk free. But then he stilled. “Go ahead. Murder me. Then everyone will see I’ve always been right about you.” Rage boiled like hot tar in Gaige’s gut, and all his High Guard instincts told him to slide the blade of the dagger hard and deep across his throat and end him once and for all. Do it. Kill him, and then he won’t ever be able to look down his nose at you, taunt you, or distract you from your mate again. Kill him. Do it now. But the reminder of Keiran only flooded him with 100


memories of the peace and joy he’d found in his mate’s arms, of the way being with Keiran always made him a better person, and of just how deeply he loved his mate and felt loved in return. And just like that, as if someone had pinched out the flame of fury inside him, the hateful voice was gone, leaving nothing behind but a tiny plume of smoke drifting off in the cold air. “Come on,” Jax taunted. “Murder me. You want to.” Gaige released him and shoved him to the ground. “No. I don’t,” he said with utter honesty. “But if you ever threaten my mate again, if you ever try to harm him again in any way, and there’s a choice to be made between his life and yours…I will kill you in a heartbeat. Don’t ever doubt it.” Keiran stepped up next to Gaige, radiating fury and betrayal. He rested a hand on Gaige’s good shoulder and no one but Gaige would ever know it shook. He lifted his own hand and rested it atop Keiran’s, for a change offering some of his strength. Keiran stared at Jax as the dark-headed draegan pulled himself off the ground. “This camp is about tolerance, about working as a team, and about fighting the real enemy—Byram and his oppression and atrocities—not each other. I’ve known you a long time, Jax, and know you have a good heart. But as long as you continue to see with nothing but anger and hatred, you threaten all we try to do here.” One by one, all the gathered draegans and humans turned their backs on Jax. He glared at Keiran, and especially at Gaige, with bitter 101


black eyes. “So that’s the way of it then?” he asked with a sneer. Keiran looked to his right and left, at the turned backs of the camp members present. “Yes. The camp has spoken,” Keiran said. “You’re no longer welcome here. May the gods go with you, my friend.” Then Keiran turned his back also, leaving Gaige the only one in the small clearing still facing the wild-eyed draegan. He wasn’t sure what in hel the back-turning meant, but gathered it was some form of banishment. He hesitated to follow suit, though, because his days of following blindly were over. No longer could he act without knowing what or why he was doing something. So he stood, not flinching, as Jax’s gaze bored into him, daring him to turn. Finally, after long moments of stand-off, Jax grinned and it almost looked normal, except for the fiery glint of anger in the depths of his eyes. “He trusts you,” he said, his voice low, intimate almost. “They all trust you. But you and I…we know the truth, don’t we, Panther? One day, this heroic veneer you’ve slipped on is going to crumble, and then they’ll see who you really are.” He leaned closer. “A murderer. You’re just like your father.” Then with another smarmy grin, he turned and strode off into the woods as if it were any other day and he was heading out for a walk. Gaige watched him go. “No,” he said softly. “I’m not.”

102


CHAPTER 6

Keiran’s promise of a hot bath and bed, as well-intentioned as it had been, didn’t come to immediate fruition as Gaige had hoped. Though, in reality, he hadn’t expected it to. After Jax’s departure, he, Keiran, Marta and Iann went to Keiran’s large tent in an isolated and extra-magick-protected area northeast of the main part of the camp. Marta pushed Gaige down onto one of the benches at the rough-hewn wood table and he was too tired to protest when, with a gentle touch, she cleaned his shoulder, applied an herbal salve, and bandaged it. Keiran, apology still haunting his eyes, handed him one of his own shirts to wear. Their fingers brushed, causing a tremor of heat to spread 103


through Gaige. Wondering if Keiran felt it, too, he reached out via their mental connection to see…and was surprised to discover he couldn’t read him. Much like whatever magick Keiran had used to shield him from the overwhelming press of people earlier out in the clearing, it felt as if Keiran had erected a similar shield around himself. Gaige could see him, touch him, but where before he’d been able to sense his thoughts and emotions, now a barrier held him at bay, forcing him to observe Keiran from a distance, but not allowing him to get close. What was going on? ::Keiran, are you okay?:: Keiran removed his heavy cloak, and as Iann stoked the fire, he rolled a large map of Velensperia out on the table and anchored each corner with a stone. He didn’t respond or appear to have even heard Gaige. ::Keiran…:: Still nothing. A troubled sense of panic overtook him, tightening bands around his chest. Yet a tiny flame of anger sparked inside him as well at the thought his lover would shut him out. Was Keiran ignoring him? Or had he barricaded himself so completely he didn’t even hear Gaige? In either case, why would he do such a thing? Especially after all that had happened today. He opened his mouth to seek an answer, but stopped when he remembered they weren’t alone. Iann now leaned over the map with Keiran, Marta worked on something at the fire, and 104


Wen, Marta’s son, whom Keiran had sent for and asked to join them, had just entered the tent. Gaige had already had an audience once today for what he’d hoped to keep private between him and Keiran, so he bit back the words. As he watched Keiran, though, he realized aside from the brief contact when he’d given Gaige the shirt, Keiran had barely looked at him or spoken to him since the confrontation with Jax. Was he grieving over the loss of Jax and didn’t want Gaige to know it? From what Jax had said, they’d been friends longer than Gaige had even been alive—which reminded him of the conversation he and Keiran had been having when Jax interrupted this morning. If what Keiran had told him was true, he was much older than Gaige had ever dreamed. And now Jax, his best friend, was gone, banished from the camp. Marta had confirmed as much as they’d walked. Jax had also been one of Keiran’s right-hand, trusted lieutenants, a loss Keiran no doubt already felt as they prepared to face Byram. Plus, the possibility the angry draegan and Keiran had been lovers hung like a piece of dirty linen flapping in a foul wind, causing a dull throb in Gaige’s heart. Was Keiran regretting being mated to him and wishing he weren’t saddled with a tainted, young-by-his-standards halfhuman? Gods…worse, a young, half-human who couldn’t, in any way, be good enough for a draegan descended from the line of the true draegan lords. No. He loves you. You know that. Gaige dragged in a pained breath. That didn’t mean he 105


couldn’t have regrets, didn’t resent the fact he’d had to choose between Gaige and whatever Jax had been to him. “Drink this.” Marta set a mug of warmed, spiced sorral wine in front of him. “You need to warm up.” He wrapped his fingers around the heavy pottery, letting the heat soak into them, but certain no matter how much of the heady, sweet, hot beverage he consumed, it wouldn’t warm him at his core, which felt chilled and barren. ::Keiran…:: He tried one more time, aching for a connection, for reassurance. But to no avail. Trying not to focus on how much that lost bond hurt, he lifted the mug to drink. But with it halfway to his mouth, his stomach lurched as another thought occurred to him… What if it wasn’t Keiran? What if it was him? What if he couldn’t read his lover’s thoughts and emotions because his ability to do so was fading? He’d been able to sense, in a vague fashion, Keiran’s emotions for several days now, but not with the clarity and intensity he had today. And he’d only been able to communicate with him using the telepathic speech since this morning. It had come on fast, and maybe it had left just as fast. He thought back, his mind racing, to pinpoint when the ability had surfaced. Directly after the joining in the woods. That’s right. Immediately after that, with Keiran’s semen still surging through his insides. But that had been a few hours ago, and though his body ached in intimate places, his internal 106


muscles and organs no longer quivered from the effects of it. He reached across the table and set a hand atop Keiran’s. “I need to talk to you,” he said in a low voice, urgency to understand burning like a lump of Cydonian tar in his gut. Keiran looked up from the map to meet his gaze. “What is it?” he asked, concern evident in his voice, which made Gaige feel a bit better. “In private.” His dark brows drew together, and relief flooded Gaige when Keiran nodded. He’d been half afraid he’d refuse. Keiran gestured toward the opening that led into the bedroom portion of the tent, and Gaige rose. Marta’s youngest boy tore into the tent just then, breathing hard. “I have a message for Hareldson,” he gasped, clutching his side. “Whoa! Slow down,” Marta said, crossing to her son, who was almost as tall as she. “What is it?” Keiran gave Gaige a contrite look. “I’m sorry. Later?” Gaige had no choice but to nod. “I promise,” Keiran said, before he turned to join Marta and the boy. The words were spoken in a gentle tone, and Gaige couldn’t fault him for putting his role as leader first, but he felt a pang of hurt nonetheless over being dismissed. Giving himself a mental shake, he squashed it, knowing Keiran’s loyalties had lain with his people long before he’d ever entered the picture…as they should. His concerns and insecurities over something as personal as whether or not he 107


could “feel” his lover had no place here. Keiran was the leader of his people. They needed him. Which was why Gaige had almost left Velensperia before Byram captured him…because he hadn’t wanted to be a distraction to Keiran. The draegans, and the humans who’d allied themselves with them, were about to enter a fight for their very lives. They all had tasks to do here. But that knowledge didn’t stop the emotional storm roiling inside him. He sighed. In many ways, life had been easier when he’d been able to hold himself aloof and face the world with icy calm. As the White Panther he’d known where he stood, what was expected of him, and he’d been able to attend to his duties without this damned constant confusion twisting his entrails, making him feel as if he were being turned inside out. The youth, Allend, who looked no more than fifteen—but Gaige had given up trying to guess draegan ages any more— had been sent by a camp sentry to report a large detachment of the high sorcerer’s troops had been spotted in the south forest, just a few hours away from the camp. “This is the third group in as many days,” Marta told Keiran. “But none have yet come close to the screen. We’ve doubled the foot patrols around the outside of the camp to keep an eye on them.” Keiran nodded, his expression sober. He rested a hand on Allend’s shoulder. “Who’s on duty at the south post?” “Hamith, sir.” “All right, you tell Hamith that when the foot patrols check 108


in with him, he’s to tell them to watch only, but not risk confrontation. For now the sorcerer’s soldiers don’t know we’re here—they’re probably just passing through—and we want to keep it that way as long as possible.” Allend nodded, suffered through a tousle of his shoulderlength sandy hair and peck on the forehead from his mother, and sprinted away, his bow and quiver jouncing against his back. Keiran returned to the table, his gaze troubled. He dragged the tip of his forefinger along an area of the map. “They’re crossing through the forest here. Which is the same place Gaige and I saw the group of them almost a fortnight ago. The ones traveling to meet the wagons that held the draegan children Byram was transporting. Where have the other troops been seen?” “The same area,” Iann said. “With one small group, we suspect a scouting party, several days ago on the east side as well,” Marta added. Keiran turned to Gaige. “You know Byram’s methods, his troop patterns better than anyone here. Any idea what his game plan might be?” Gaige gave a mental sigh. He wished with all his being he could put his life as the captain of the High Guard behind him, forget all he’d done. But he understood the role he had to play here…the advisor with inside information. And gods knew he wanted to end Byram. There was also a certain poetic irony in it…he’d been sent here to spy on the draegans’ inner workings and report to Byram so Byram could crush them. Instead, now 109


he’d turned the tables and could use his years of experience and his knowledge of the high sorcerer’s inner workings to help destroy him. He studied the map, forcing all thoughts from his mind except how he or his father or Byram would have planned a campaign such as this, to overtake and destroy the straggling remains of a people who threatened the high sorcerer’s rule. He and Keiran had discussed this very thing over the past three days as they’d traveled—speculating about Byram’s activities. The fact the sorcerer had troops passing through the forest so near the camp and in the same place he and Keiran had first seen them became the focal point of his musings. Why here? In his mind’s eye, he traced a path on the map between Thrythgar and the camp. “There’s nothing much between us and Thrythgar except forest and the Ravenwilde Flats. The closest villages are Lafaria at the intersection of the Plains and East Roads, some thirty leagues southwest of the camp. And Glint, north along the Plains Road, about sixty leagues from here. The troops’ trek through the forest south of the camp doesn’t lead them to either.” He frowned and slid a finger along the map. “It would bring them to the Plains Road, however, by allowing them to travel undercover from Thrythgar the entire way, rather than be out and obvious on the East Road. And it might be faster as well.” “He’s got troops along the East Road, too, though. We saw 110


them,” Keiran said. “Yes, but he’s probably just trying to cover all his bases. Byram doesn’t know where this camp is. His spies saw me near the Charn River six weeks ago. He may think we’re farther north and east, may even think we’re in the mountains, either here”—he pointed to the mountains northeast of Thrythgar—“in the Aurion range. Or to the south, in the White Mountains.” “Near Kellesborne,” Iann said. “But he won’t find it.” “No, he won’t. And, in truth, Byram is just self-important enough to think we’d never dare be anywhere that close to his stronghold. The possibility would be inconceivable to him. And the White Mountains are south of the road. When Keiran and I traveled here from Kellesborne, my impression was that Byram was focusing troops on the road itself and northward into the forest. Before we got to the road, we saw no one.” “Not a sign of any activity until we hit the East Road,” Keiran agreed. “Which leads me to believe he thinks we’re either in the forest, or in the eastern mountains. Do we have any idea what troop activity is like to the east?” Gaige asked. “It’s been a couple of weeks since we’ve had any contact with scouts in that area,” Marta said. In other words, before Byram had captured Gaige or discovered Keiran was a firebreather. “Though it stands to reason,” Marta continued, her tone thoughtful, “that if Byram’s got the East Road covered and is sending soldiers through the forest, and also is increasing the 111


guard near the Great Plain, it’s likely he’s sending troops along the mountains as well. Especially if, as you said, he thinks we might be hidden there.” “Byram has a field outpost here, just north of the Charn River Valley, in the mountains. It’s where he trains soldiers for duty in the eastern realms. He’s got detachments of troops cutting across the forest to the Plains Road here. We know that initial batch we ran into were headed to escort the wagons with the children to Gelvish, and we overhead some of the men saying Byram was increasing the number of soldiers who’d be escorting his ‘shipments’ across the Great Plain from now on.” Gaige grimaced. “I hate to say it, but I think we can assume there are more draegan children somewhere in the outer realms. Considering we spirited the last ones away, he’ll most likely try again.” “Gods…I don’t even want to think about it,” Marta said. “Those poor darlings. And what does he want with them? What’s he doing with them?” “We don’t know yet, Marta, but we’ll figure it out,” Keiran said. “In the meantime, one thing we can do is monitor the Plains Road for any more wagons like that.” “The sorcerer won’t follow the same path again. He’ll know we’re watching and will intercept them,” Iann interjected. “I agree,” Gaige said. “But I also agree we can’t let him get his hands on any more kids. I don’t know what he planned to do with them, but we’re not letting him have a single one.” 112


Bile burned in his gut at the thought of Byram hurting another child—any child, draegan or human. “The escort was supposed to take them to Gelvish, so I recommend we find out what the hel’s at Gelvish.” “Already done,” Marta said. “I sent two scouts out last week. Jax didn’t agree, but he was overruled.” She looked at Iann, who nodded. “We haven’t heard back from them yet, though.” A sigh escaped her. “It would be so much easier if we could fly. They could have been there and back in a day or two and we’d know something.” Keiran gave her shoulder a squeeze. “I know. But you did well.” If Keiran felt anything one way or another when Jax’s name was mentioned, he didn’t show it. And Gaige didn’t feel it, which caused another twinge of pain in his chest at the loss. He forced himself to push it aside again and stay focused on the issue at hand. He studied the map, then nodded. “With all the activity, it looks to me like Byram’s moving troops as fast as he can to cut off all the main roads into and out of this portion of Velensperia.” “That’s a big area,” Wen commented, speaking up for the first time. The wiry, lean young draegan, Marta’s spitting image, with his shaggy yellow-blond hair, freckles, and bright green eyes, stood perched with a hip against the table, gnawing at his lower lip. Gaige hadn’t ever seen the young man as part of Keiran’s inner council discussions before now. He wondered if Keiran had decided to bring Wen in to help fill Jax’s loss. “How could he possibly think he could contain 113


us?” “Look…” Gaige motioned to the map. “We’re bordered on the west by the Great Plain, on the east by the Aurion Mountains, which are virtually uncrossable in winter—winter will be upon us soon, remember—except through the Charn River Valley, right where Byram has an outpost. He’s holding the East Road. That leaves the far northern realms, which are bisected by the Black Mountains and the Great Lake of Ballansphere. That leaves a narrow gap between the Black Mountains and the Aurions of maybe thirty leagues.” “A bottleneck,” Keiran said. “Exactly.” “You think he’s sending troops through the forest to the Plains Road, then north to Glint and beyond. He’s boxing us in,” Keiran murmured, scuffing a hand over his bearded chin. “That would be my guess.” “And from there?” “He’ll most likely start trying to unearth draegan settlements, looking for you.” “Not an easy thing to do. Most of the groups are scattered and small—no more than a handful of draegans—and some live amongst humans. For him it’ll be like looking for a needle in a entire country of haystacks.” Guilt ripped through Gaige. “I found you,” he said softly.

114


CHAPTER 7

Silence descended on the group as his words sank in. Marta was the first to speak. “He has a scary point, Keiran.” “He’ll stop at nothing to find you and kill you,” Gaige said quietly, watching Keiran, who still peered hard at the map as if it might somehow provide a miracle. “Especially now. After what happened when we left Thrythgar.” Keiran’s head shot up and his gaze, churning with intensity, locked on Gaige’s. ::They don’t all know about me. Don’t tell them.:: Gaige almost reeled backward from the strength of the gravelly words in his head. He stared at Keiran, more than a 115


little in shock to be hearing him and to feel such a powerful flash of jumbled emotion from him. But as fast as the connection had opened, Keiran closed it, leaving Gaige stranded and on the outside once again. Which meant…it wasn’t him after all. Keiran was keeping him out. He didn’t even bother to try to respond telepathically because he felt the same blank wall he had earlier and knew it would do no good. You want to tell me what in hel’s going on? he wanted to shout at his lover. But yet again, having an audience held him back. Marta, Iann, and Wen stared at them, as if they’d sensed something bouncing between the two of them. Or maybe it was just curiosity over what Gaige had said. “What happened when you left Thrythgar?” Marta asked. Gaige let his gaze bore into Keiran, hoping that even with his wall up, the draegan would pick up on his hurt and anger. If he didn’t want the others to know the truth, that he was a firebreather and Byram knew it now, then he could tell the story. Gaige refused to tiptoe around, trying to keep track of what he was and wasn’t allowed to say. “Just that we escaped in the first place,” Keiran responded. “That we left by wing right under his nose. And the fact Gaige killed General Rizik.” “Byram’s going to be hel-bent on revenge after that,” Marta agreed. “Maybe we should consider relocating? It would be safer for you, Keiran.” “To where?” Wen wanted to know. 116


Kellesborne, Gaige thought. But he didn’t say it aloud, knowing it was nothing more than wishful thinking. Keiran had already explained to him why the great white stone fortress had been abandoned, and supporting the hundred or so people in the camp up there would be almost impossible under the circumstances. “Kellesborne?” Marta said, echoing his thought. “As Gaige said, it’s the last place Byram would think we were because it’s so close to Thrythgar.” Keiran sighed. “If we could fly without risk…maybe. But as it stands…” He shook his head. “You’ve been there before, yes?” “Once, when I was a girl. When a handful of draegans still lived there.” “Then you know how steep and narrow the mountain path is to approach by foot. As I told Gaige, Kellesborne was built on the side of that mountain for protective reasons. It’s meant to be flown into and out of. If we can’t take winged form and fly openly, how would we get supplies up there to feed all these people? It would be impossible on foot. And with the heavy troop presence, how would we get this many souls through the forest and across the East Road to the White Mountains in the first place?” “It might be an impossible challenge all the way around,” she conceded. “Well, then we have to just keep our draeganjhere sharp and ready here.” “Agreed. There is one more potential weapon we have against the sorcerer. Gaige…?” He gestured toward his pack 117


resting against the pine pole in the middle of the tent. Gaige nodded, knowing to what he was referring, and rose to open it. He pulled the large, extraordinarily heavy, giltedged leather tome from it. Restrained magick seemed to pulsate from it, and just holding it caused the hair on Gaige’s arms to stand on end. He set it on the wooden table with a thunk. “A book?” Wen asked. “Not just any book,” Keiran said, once again looking at Gaige, as if encouraging him to explain. Still more than a little put out with Keiran, he nonetheless picked up the reins of the conversation Keiran was handing him. “This is Byram’s grimoire.” “Bloody hel,” Wen croaked. Marta sank onto one of the benches, a hand over her mouth. Iann exhibited no emotion in particular, but his eyes glittered with interest. “How did you get this?” Marta asked in a breathy voice. “We stole it.” “It was Gaige’s suggestion, as we were leaving Thrythgar. He knew where the sorcerer kept it.” “Keiran was able to break the magick that kept it locked. There’s just one problem. A big one…” Gaige lifted the large cover and opened the book to the first page, then turned several other pages, giving the others a good look at them. “We have no idea what language it’s written in. So if anyone has any ideas…” 118


They passed it around the table and everyone looked through it. Except Wen. “Do you feel that?” he asked, holding a palm over it and grimacing. “I don’t like it.” He drew his hand back. “Anything that makes my skin crawl even before the magick’s unleashed isn’t anything I want to touch.” “It won’t hurt you,” Marta assured him. “I suspect it holds a hundred-plus years worth of spells, incantations, and rituals that, collectively, can be used to alter states. But the words on the page alone aren’t enough to make the sorcerer’s magick work.” “His magick isn’t like ours,” Iann explained to the young draegan, but Gaige listened with interest as well, considering he’d just had his own first brush with creating magick of his own early this morning on the shield around the camp. “For draegans, magick is inherent…it’s part of who we are, woven into our genetic code. But Byram is human, which makes him a self-made magician. Some humans have an aptitude for learning to harness energies and mold them. But unlike us, they don’t have the ability on their own. They have to rely on spells, charms, potions, and paraphernalia to alter the state of objects or people or even the atmosphere.” Gaige thought about the fire Byram had conjured around the battlements as he and Keiran escaped Thrythgar. Of the mists he sometimes summoned to hide the passage of his troops. Of the charms he’d created and given to Gaige over the years to alter his appearance when he needed to blend in, like the one he’d used when he first came to the draegan camp. 119


Even the seeing stone Gaige had carried at Byram’s insistence, so the sorcerer could stay in contact with him—Keiran had explained to him as they traveled that it was done with illusion rather than any true magick in the stone itself. “Byram,” Iann continued, in the slow, measured pace of an old man with a story to tell, “has become a master conjurer, and his knowledge of and skill with spells and potions is legendary. When the sorcerer Pallendion took him on as a pupil all those many years ago, Byram’s skill soon surpassed his master’s because he had such a fierce drive to go places and do things no sorcerer ever had before. Often, his study bordered on obsessive, and his experiments crossed lines that shouldn’t be crossed. Pallendion died in an accident a few years after apprenticing Byram and many believe Byram killed him because the old teacher tried to rein him in.” “Some say it’s a spell that’s allowed the high sorcerer to live as long as he has,” Wen said. “Do you think that’s so?” “I think even a powerful magician is still human. Therefore, it’s nothing natural that’s kept him alive these many long years. Alive and still looking much the same as he did when he first waged war on the draegan race.” Iann spoke of a past Gaige had only ever heard of in tales. A past the old draegan wasn’t recounting from hearsay, but one he’d lived in, been a part of. With a troubled flutter in his stomach, he remembered Keiran had lived it, too. How old was Keiran? Gaige knew draegans aged much more slowly than humans and that some draegans could live to be almost two hundred. But if Keiran 120


had been there when Byram waged war the first time… I was a boy and I watched everyone I loved die. …then that would make him over a hundred. Gaige swallowed past the lump in his throat. At a hundred or more, even as draegans aged, he should look older than he did. Yet his appearance made him seem of no greater age than Gaige…in his thirties. As the others continued talking and the conversation turned to camp matters and what all had occurred while Gaige and Keiran had been gone, Gaige studied his mate from under a hooded gaze. Keiran’s body, still clearly in its prime and so masculine and beautiful it made Gaige’s pulse race, was hard and muscular, though not overlarge like Jax’s. Rather, he had an athletic build, with definition rather than bulk. His thick, wavy mane of hair, a deep rich brown with golden highlights, which Keiran today wore pulled back at the nape of his neck with a strip of leather, held not a strand of gray that Gaige could see. Neither did his week’s worth of facial hair. His skin was rugged and tanned, but aside from lines around his mouth and eyes that Gaige knew intimately came from both laughter and worry, no wrinkles marred his countenance. His eyes, so often full of life and love and even mischief from time to time, were perhaps the only indicator he was older than he looked. And even then, it hadn’t been until today Gaige had noticed how worldly those soft silver-gray orbs could be. ::Keiran, damn it! Why are you shutting me out? I have so many questions. I need to understand.:: 121


He didn’t expect a response and got none. His shoulder gave a sharp twinge that made him grimace. He brought a hand up to press against it, to stem the ache. Suddenly so weary he couldn’t even think, he sucked in a breath, then let it out with a quiet sigh. Needing a distraction from his lover, he dragged the sorcerer’s grimoire over in front of him and turned to the first page, letting his eyes roam over the small, dark, elaborate print, looking for something recognizable. Their inability to glean any information from the book was a particular thorn in his side, since he was convinced it held the answers to many of their questions. He believed that if Byram had a weakness—and every being did, even one as full of his own self-importance as Byram—it would be in this grimoire, which was more than just the sorcerer’s spell-book, it was also his journal. Gaige had been the one who’d convinced Keiran they should steal it before they left the sorcerer’s stronghold, and the delay in doing so had very nearly cost them both their lives. Yet the gods damned thing clung to its secrets as tightly as a mrhova vulture clung to a piece of carrion. Gaige continued to leaf through the crackling pages long after the others had moved on to other topics. At some point, and he wasn’t sure when, he rose long enough to find parchment, quill and ink, and began jotting down words and symbols he saw used over and over. When Marta set a bowl of stew in front of him and another mug of wine, he looked up long enough to thank her, then 122


returned to his work as he ate and drank. The thin parchment pages and their contents mesmerized him, seduced him, and it became a challenge, like trying to piece together a puzzle when you weren’t even sure what the pieces looked like. “Gaige?” Keiran’s hand on his good shoulder, warm and squeezing gently, finally brought him back to his body and the world around him. He brought his gaze up from the book and blinked. “Sorry,” he mumbled, when he realized it wasn’t the first time Keiran had spoken his name. Between the tiny writing and sheer exhaustion, his eyes burned and his mind felt as sharp as a mud puddle. He looked around and noticed it had grown dark outside. No wonder his eyes ached—the dim candlelight gave off little illumination. Wen and Marta had left, and Iann was busy putting more wood on the fire and stacking extra next to it to be used during the night. “What were you saying?” Keiran shook his head. Worry lines creased his forehead. “You’ve been poring over that book and writing for hours.” Gaige looked down and realized he’d filled dozens of sheets with words and symbols that meant nothing to him. “I just…I feel like I should be able to sort some of this out.” Keiran’s hand squeezed again and the contact felt so good after having so little all day, a tremor of need quaked through Gaige. He closed his eyes and savored his lover’s touch. “You’re exhausted,” Keiran said. “I promised you a bath 123


and bed hours ago. I’m sorry.” “There were more important things to deal with.” Even his voice felt tired, ratcheting up out of his throat. “Allend filled the bathing tub from the hot spring.” “He did?” he asked, surprised, his eyes popping open again. He’d missed it completely, so caught up had he been in the damned grimoire. “He did. Go have a soak, then get some sleep,” Keiran said as he picked up his wool cloak off the bench and pulled it on. “Where are you going?” Keiran slid his bow and quiver over his shoulder. “I’m going to walk the camp with Marta tonight, just to be sure everything’s secure.” A cold, dull blade thrusting into his belly couldn’t have hurt any worse. All day he’d looked forward to having Keiran to himself, to being able to get answers about why Keiran was holding him at a distance. But instead, Keiran was still pushing him away, and sending him off to bed alone. “I’ll wait for you,” Gaige told him. “No. You’ve waited long enough. You need to sleep, Gaige. And I don’t know how long I’ll be.” He pressed a kiss to the top of Gaige’s head, and with a nod to Iann, was gone. The knot that had lain heavily in Gaige’s gut all day gave a brutal throb. He’d just been dismissed again. He pushed the book and papers away with an angry huff. “I remember your mother,” Iann said, straightening from 124


the fire and brushing his hands together. The words blindsided Gaige. He looked up at the old draegan. “What?” he whispered. Iann sank onto the bench next to him, his bones and joints popping, and nodded. “I knew her when she was a child. She had eyes the color of the sky. Just like yours.” Gaige’s heart pounded. “How? When?” Ian stretched his legs out before him, leaned back against the table, and rubbed a hand over his grizzled cheeks. He stared into the fire and, for a painful moment, he seemed so lost in thought Gaige was afraid he wouldn’t answer. “Her mother, your grandmother, was an advisor to the draegan lord. This was before Byram killed the human king and declared himself high sorcerer and ruler of the lands. Your mother, Albione, was a beautiful child…full of light and love. I remember her playing with her dolls, dancing with them, her long blonde hair swinging behind her, and making everyone around her smile at her antics.” Gaige’s chest ached at the image Iann presented. How had a carefree child like that ended up betrayed and murdered by Everard Rizik? Where was the fairness in that? “Why?” he whispered. “Why?” “Why would she have slept with my father? Wanted to have a child with him, considering who he was? He murdered her when I was born.” “When he realized she was a draegan?” The same question Keiran had asked. 125


“Yes.” “Love makes people do strange things, Gaige. It’s not logical. It’s from the heart and it knows no restrictions…race, age, gender mean nothing where love is concerned. And sometimes people who love deeply will do anything they can to protect that love.” Something inside him said Iann’s words were doubleedged…that they weren’t just talking about his parents, but also about him and Keiran. Was he somehow trying to explain why Keiran had closed him out today? Or could Iann even know that? Then something Keiran had said to him earlier, when he’d stopped Gaige from speaking of how Keiran was a firebreather, stirred in him. Keiran had said, They don’t all know. Implying someone else in the tent besides the two of them did know. “You were there with Keiran, weren’t you? At Kellesborne, when he was a child?” “Yes. I was a member of his family’s draeganjhere.” His gaze grew troubled, and frown lines creased his already heavily lined skin, as if he were remembering difficult events. Gaige’s sympathies stirred. Of course he remembered difficult events…Byram and his troops had killed Keiran’s family. If Iann had been a member of their draeganjhere, it couldn’t be easy to know some of his charges had died. “Iann, just how old is Keiran?” The old man’s bushy gray eyebrows rose. “He hasn’t told you?” 126


He shook his head. “He only just told me this morning of his heritage. But he didn’t go into detail about much of anything. We were…interrupted.” “Then the answers you seek shouldn’t come from me. You need to talk to your mate about it.” Yeah, if his mate would talk to him. “Then let me ask you this,” he said. “If Keiran was around when Byram first struck out at the draegans, he has to be over a hundred. Except he doesn’t look it, even for a draegan. Why? And don’t the others wonder why he looks so good for his age?” “His lieutenants believe him to be much younger than he is. And he chooses to keep it that way. He thinks it’s safer for them if they don’t know.” A twinge of uncertainty fluttered in Gaige’s stomach. “I don’t understand. Even Jax thought that? Why?” “Draegans, as a whole, do age more slowly than humans…some draegans can live to be almost two hundred. In the ancient days, some lived longer—as much as three hundred years. But over the millennia, the blood of the common draegan has been watered down. The line of the true draegan lords, however, has held strong throughout time.” “Meaning they live longer than regular draegans?” “Much.” Understanding sunk in as to why Keiran would have kept his real age secret—if the others knew his age, yet saw him still looking so young, it would have given away his heritage. “How much?” 127


“Most can live twice as long as an average draegan today.” Gaige’s heart pounded so hard it felt as if it might explode from his chest. “Four hundred years?” he rasped. “Or more.” Gaige clutched the edge of the table so hard his fingernails dug into the wood. “I’m half-human and only half-draegan. Even if I live to old age for me, he’ll…” “You need to hear the facts from your mate, Gaige. I’ve already said more than I should.” Then his expression softened and he seemed to take pity on him. “But don’t over-worry it. You’re ‘imlain’ du draeganlahn.” “Keiran told me that means true mate of a draegan.” Iann chuckled. “It doesn’t mean true mate of a draegan. It means true mate of a draegan lord.” “And that’s supposed to comfort me?” Iann’s expression turned sympathetic. “He really hasn’t told you much, has he?” “No.” The lone word sounded as resentful as Gaige felt. Iann rose and clasped Gaige on the shoulder in the traditional gesture of greeting and leave-taking. “Be patient with him, my friend. He’s as new to this business of truemating as you are. I suspect you’ll both learn much about one another, and about yourselves, over the next few weeks and months.” He donned a weathered brown cloak that looked as if it might be as old as he was. “Try to get some sleep.” He turned and headed to the tent flap. “Great. Everybody wants me to sleep.” 128


Iann paused and looked back over his shoulder. “If it helps to put things in perspective…I’ve known Keiran all his life and he’s never looked at anyone else the way he looks at you. He loves you. Powerfully. Passionately. And remember what I told you about love…” Then with a nod, he slipped through the flap, leaving Gaige alone.

129


CHAPTER 8

Darkness enshrouded the tent when Keiran returned, except for the glow of coals in the fire of the main room. He tied the flap closed, pulled off his cloak and draped it over a bench at the table, added a couple more logs to the fire, then stirred it until they caught and a new flame crackled to life. In the bedroom, the soft flicker of yellow from the fire crept through the open doorway, giving him enough light to make out Gaige’s form in the large pallet bed. What the fire didn’t illuminate, he could discern with his draegan-enhanced night vision, which allowed him to see Gaige’s heat patterns and know he lay on his side facing away from Keiran. 130


His throat tightened with emotion as he realized just how much he wanted to crawl into bed next to his sleeping mate, pull him into his arms, and lose himself in the comfort of his warm body. After the way Keiran had treated him today, though, he was afraid Gaige might not even be speaking to him, much less be willing to share intimacies. Guilt settled hard in the pit of his belly, right where it had been most of the day. When he’d left the tent earlier to patrol, Marta had taken one route and he’d taken another—leaving him hours of dark solitude to wrestle with his thoughts and actions. He’d been an ass and deserved it if Gaige didn’t want to have anything to do with him. He tried to reassure himself it was a good sign his mate was here at all and hadn’t returned to his old tent alone. That possibility had haunted him as he’d trudged through the woods. He shed his clothes and bathed quickly in the now-chilly bath water. The cold shock of it and the brisk scent of the sage and citrus soap rejuvenated his senses, but didn’t do anything to ease the ache in his heart. He debated whether or not to shave off the week’s worth of scruff on his face. It’d probably be better to wait until morning when he could see what in hel he was doing. But then decided he was tired of the itch, so soaped his face and scraped a blade along his chin, cheeks, and neck by practiced feel. The night air, in spite of the fire, seeped into him as he toweled his hair and body dry. He crossed to the bed, lifted the blankets, and slid into the cocoon of warmth. He eased closer 131


to Gaige, not wanting to wake him, but craving physical contact so much he hurt. Before he could slide an arm around Gaige’s waist, however, his mate rolled onto his back. Keiran paused. Even in the dark he felt his lover’s gaze on him, and the energy swirling around his body didn’t invite intimacy. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” “You didn’t wake me.” “You’ve been awake all this time? Have you gotten any sleep?” The thought of Gaige lying here sleepless for hours only intensified his own guilt. “I’ve had a few things on my mind.” The words, though spoken softly in Gaige’s deep voice, were husky and tinged with restrained anger. The sigh that escaped Keiran felt as if it might be pulling his insides up and out along with it. “I know,” he murmured. He wasn’t going to insult Gaige by pretending not to know of what he spoke. “I’d just hoped maybe you’d be able to get some sleep while I was gone. It’s been more than a day and night since we were able to close our eyes for a while, and even longer since you had a full night of comfortable sleep at Kellesborne.” Gaige turned over to face him, cradling his head on one hand. “You shut me out today, Keiran. Utterly. Then tonight you left without asking me if I wanted to join you, and sent me off to bed with a peck on the head like I was a child. Is that the way you see me?” 132


“No!” He stared at his mate, aghast at Gaige’s perception of what had happened. “My gods, I didn’t mean it like that at all. You looked so tired and drained I couldn’t imagine dragging you out on patrol tonight. I told you, I was hoping you’d be able to get some well-deserved sleep.” “And the fact it would make it easier for you to continue holding me at a distance if you left never crossed your mind, I suppose. Nor did the hope I’d be asleep when you returned, if you decided to return, so you could delay having to talk to me until morning. Unless, of course, you had some all-important thing you had to rush off to handle in the morning also.” The nasty, hot ball of guilt inside him burgeoned to an almost unbearable weight. He hadn’t expected to get off easy and knew he deserved his mate’s censure. But Gaige wasn’t holding back, and the truth in his words seared straight to Keiran’s soul. Gaige’s calm, even tone only made Keiran feel worse because he knew beneath it his mate was hurt and angry, yet doing a far better job of handling it than he would have if their positions were reversed. It had been foolish to think hiding behind a self-created wall would somehow protect Gaige. “After everything that’s happened, do you have any idea what it felt like to me to be completely cut off from you?” Gaige asked. “To have spent the past days linked to you in almost every possible integral way, to feel it when you breathed, when you smiled, when you experienced pleasure, when you hurt. To be so close to you that sometimes it was even hard to tell what bits were you and what were me. And 133


then”—he snapped his fingers—“just like that it was gone, and each time I tried to reach out to you, I was met with a cold, barren wall.” Keiran swallowed hard, though his constricting throat made it almost impossible. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t think how it might feel to you.” And he hadn’t. He’d only been selfishly thinking about how he wanted to hide his own tumultuous emotions and fears from his mate. Gaige rolled onto his back again with a loud exhale, then draped an arm over his eyes as if, even in the dark, the sight of Keiran was more than he could bear. “I thought it was me,” he said quietly. “I spent the first part of the day thinking something was wrong with me. That the abilities I’ve had since our joining might be disappearing.” “Oh, gods,” Keiran whispered. He’d done even more damage than he’d thought because of his senseless actions. “But then you were loud and clear in my head when you told me not to tell the others about our escape from Byram’s stronghold. At that point I realized it wasn’t me at all. I realized you’d purposely erected a barrier between us to keep me from getting too close. So, ever since then, I’ve been wondering why. Why would you do such a thing? Why, after everything we’ve been through together, would you cut me out of your life now? And all I can figure is that you’re regretting being mated to me. That what happened this morning with Jax made you realize I’m not what you need or want, and you’re not only wishing you hadn’t had to choose between me and your best friend, you’re also thinking you 134


made the wrong choice.” Shock and then shame flooded through Keiran at Gaige’s words and the heartsick tone in his voice. “No! You are the one I want, Gaige. The only one I’ve ever wanted.” “You and Jax had a past. I understand that. And I suspect at least part of it was spent as more than just friends.” “We were lovers for a while,” Keiran admitted. “But it was a long time ago, and I’m the one who ended it because I knew I could never give him what he wanted. And he could never be what I wanted.” “He loved you, though. Loves you still. I saw it in his eyes today.” He said it as if daring Keiran to deny it. But he couldn’t deny it. “I know he does. And part of his anger issues are with me because of that. Because I don’t return those feelings. I never have.” Silence followed his response. A silence so profound he heard his own pulse throbbing through his veins. Just when Keiran thought Gaige had had given up on him, and he struggled with how to get his mate talking to him again without making things worse, Gaige finally said, “Then why? If not Jax and not you having doubts about us, why would you lock me out? Damn it, Keiran, why?” The hurt desperation in his voice was the brittle straw that finally broke Keiran. His chest ached with such fierceness he wanted to shout out his anguish. The words rushed from him before he could stop them. “Because I hate what happened this morning! I hate what I did to you, what I subjected you to out 135


there. And the guilt of it is killing me.” He tossed the blankets aside, rose from the bed, and paced, dragging his hands through his still-damp hair. “What?” Gaige’s voice was soft and almost imperceptible over the now-brutal pounding of Keiran’s heart. “I raked you over the coals, Gaige, against your will, determined to expose your every secret to all those people. And I justified my behavior by telling myself it was for the greater good. That the people needed to see and hear the truth of what happened, so they’d understand how brutal Byram could be, the danger they’re in. And…” He sighed and shook his head. “And so they’d believe in you. I just damn well didn’t want anyone to say anything else bad about you. I wanted them to know you the way I do, to know the real, honorable, true-hearted man you are.” “Keiran…” “No. I know what you’re going to say, so just don’t. Yes, I’m aware of who and what you were as the White Panther. But we’ve already been through this, Gaige, and you know where I stand on the matter, how I feel. I wanted the people of the camp to see what I see when I look at you. But…” A huff of disgust escaped him. “But in my drive to do so, I trampled all over you. Without asking how you felt about it, or giving you any say in the matter, I took away your right to choose and I stripped you bare in front of them. Yet I’ve been keeping secrets from these same people for years, secrets that also affect the safety and well-being of the camp, secrets they deserve and need to know because I’m not who they think I 136


am, and my real identity puts them in danger. Yet I hold my secrets with a death grip. I blatantly exposed you, yet I don’t have the courage to expose myself.” He heard the grass and herb stuffed mattress creak and turned to see Gaige sit up. “That’s why you shut me out?” Gaige asked. “Because you didn’t want me to see…what? That you have foibles and fears just like everyone else?” Again Gaige had managed to delve right to the heart of the matter. The unvarnished truth of his words tore at Keiran’s barely-held-together pride. “Keiran, Byram already knows who you are, so the need for secrecy is over. Why are you afraid to tell your people the truth? You’re already their leader. They already look up to you, trust you. Do you think I or anyone else expects you to be faultless? To be a paragon of perfection?” “If I tell them the truth…yes,” he said, once again having trouble speaking around the tight lump in his throat. “I would have to be.” “Why? Help me to understand here, because I’m not following you.” “Damn it, Gaige…” “Tell me. You owe me that much honesty. Tell me what you’re scared of.” “I’m fucking scared I can’t be the leader I’ve been told all my life I’m supposed to be!” he snapped, his voice louder than he’d meant. But his veins surged with so much pent-up emotion he could hardly think straight. He knew it wasn’t 137


Gaige’s fault, that he shouldn’t raise his voice to him of all people, yet he couldn’t rein it in. “I don’t know if can measure up to the draegan lords of old. I’ve tried to do right by these people, but it’s one thing when they come to me, looking to me to lead the way as a rebel, a freedom fighter. It’s something else all together to don the mantle of draegan lord.” His voice cracked. “The draegan lords are expected to rule with complete confidence, know all the answers, protect without fail. They are expected to be without fault, in all things.” He closed his eyes, breathing hard, trying to regain control of himself. “Keiran…” The warm, callused touch of Gaige’s hands slid around his waist from behind, then curved up until one anchored around his chest and the other rested flat against his abdomen. He hadn’t heard Gaige get out of bed, but the heat from Gaige’s hard, nude body pressed in behind him. And in spite of the hurt frustration he knew his mate still felt toward him, he offered strength and comfort Keiran wanted to accept in the worst way, yet didn’t feel worthy of. “You’re too hard on yourself. ” “I have to be. Our entire race almost perished on my mother’s watch. I know it wasn’t her fault. I know Byram hit hard and fast and no one expected it or could have been prepared for it. But I can’t let the same thing happen on mine. I have to do better. I didn’t ask to be a leader, but if I can’t make the tough calls, then how can I possibly expect anyone 138


to trust me to protect them?” “I’m going to tell you the same thing you told me at Kellesborne days ago,” Gaige said. “You don’t have to do this alone. Don’t shut me out.” It wasn’t until then Keiran realized his mental fists still tightly clutched at the wall he’d erected, holding it up with a death grip. Gaige’s breath felt warm and reassuring against his ear. “Please…let me in, beloved,” he whispered. Hot moisture stung the backs of Keiran’s eyelids. “It’s too much,” he rasped, his throat tight and aching. “After everything you’ve been through, you shouldn’t have to deal with my crap also.” “There’s no part of you I don’t want, Keiran. You’ve known the very worst of me, seen what I’ve been, what I’ve done, and yet you still want me. Do you think it’s any different for me?” He sighed. “I don’t need you to protect me, though I think I understand why you feel compelled to do so. I just need you to be open. Don’t hold back from me. Let me support you and be your mate in all things.” Keiran’s entire body thrummed with the need to let go, to share, to lean. He tipped his head back and rested it against Gaige’s shoulder, felt the gentle brush of lips against his temple in welcome. Gaige had shaved as well, and the smooth heat of his cheek, and his warm, clean scent stirred a deep longing in Keiran. “Please. For this to work, for us to work, we can’t shut each other out.” 139


With a shuddered breath, Keiran gave in and let the wall slip. Gaige’s arms tightened around him and he heard him draw in and release several deep, ragged breaths. “I’m sorry,” Keiran murmured. “I told you it was too much.” “No…it’s not too much. It feels…” He breathed deeply again, then sighed in what almost sounded like relief. “It feels right. I was so damned empty without you today.” Keiran had been empty, too, though he hadn’t realized it until now, with Gaige’s love and all his mate’s hundred other myriad emotions and thoughts filling him, swirling with his own to create one whole. ::I’m so sorry I made you doubt how much I care about you. It was the last thing I meant to do.:: ::I’m sorry, too.:: Gaige’s voice was a welcome invasion in Keiran’s head. ::I shouldn’t have been so quick to doubt. I just didn’t understand, and when I couldn’t get near you I felt betrayed.:: Keiran’s stomach gave a sick lurch at the reminder of just how much damage he’d caused. ::Don’t.:: ::Don’t what?:: ::I can feel you beating yourself up over it. Don’t do it. Gods know I’m guilty of making less than stellar decisions, too. Before Byram captured me, I almost left you, remember? Because I had a twisted idea it would protect you. And I know when you found out that had been my intention, it hurt you. 140


I’m not used to caring about anybody, or to having anyone care for me. I’m not used to sharing my life with someone. So I don’t really know the rules.:: ::Neither do I,:: Keiran admitted. ::I feel like I should, I wish I did, but I don’t.:: Gaige grasped his shoulders and turned him around, then slid his hands into Keiran’s hair, pulled his face close, and kissed him. He tasted like spiced wine, dark, warm solace, and potent masculinity—a powerful combination. As Keiran lifted his own hands to trace the hard planes of muscle and warm flesh that were his lover’s back, he realized what a true fool he’d been. This man filled him with a strength he’d never had on his own. When they’d first joined, and Gaige’s thoughts and feelings had begun to merge with his, he’d relished it. And today, when he’d realized Gaige could also now share the telepathic speech with him, he’d been both proud and fulfilled. But after the confrontation with Jax, as the guilt had torn through him over what he’d done, the intimate connection had suddenly made him feel exposed and the closeness had terrified him. It had been one thing to share his love, pleasure, and even worries with his mate, but when his own actions had hurt his mate—worse, had hurt Gaige in the name of trying to protect him—and he hadn’t been able to stem the flood of guilt over it, he hadn’t wanted Gaige to see him in that light, hadn’t wanted him to see who he was at the core. And so, in a moment of panic, he’d shut him out. 141


::I know finding me that way in Byram’s dungeon was hard on you, Keiran. I think in some ways maybe even harder for you than for me.:: ::No. No! You were the one who suffered at his hands, m’aerlas. My own feelings are nothing compared to that.:: “I don’t agree,” Gaige said aloud, gazing into Keiran’s face with a seriousness that returned the lump to Keiran’s throat. “I think you suffered, too. I think maybe there’s a part of you that blames yourself for not getting there sooner or somehow being able to prevent me from being captured in the first place, and down deep inside, it eats at you. And that’s why you work so hard to protect me now,” he said with a wisdom belying his years. Keiran scrubbed his palms over his stinging eyes and tried to breathe past the gods-awful pressure in his chest. Damn it all, the man’s insight was so brutally accurate he felt like he’d been turned inside out, exposing his every naked vulnerability. Gaige’s warm hand on his face and the soft press of his lips only made it worse. “It wasn’t your fault.” “I should have found you sooner.” “No. I made the decision to go back to Thrythgar. I drugged you, for gods’ sakes, so you couldn’t stop me or follow me. Remember? And once I was there, Byram was and is solely responsible for what happened. You had no control over it.” “I don’t want to lose you,” Keiran whispered. “I don’t want you to be hurt again.” “I know,” he said softly, grazing his fingertips along 142


Keiran’s jaw. “And I appreciate your need to protect me from any other harm—physical or verbal—more than you could know. Believe me, I do. But, Keiran, we have a fight on our hands. Byram’s going to be breathing down our necks sooner than I think any of us wants to accept, and we’re going to need to face him with all our faculties intact, without distraction. Which means you can’t be worrying every second about what’s happening to me because losing your focus will only end up getting you killed.” Keiran grimaced, recognizing the truth in what Gaige said. “You have to let me stand on my own feet. But at the same time, even though it probably sounds like a contradiction, we’re stronger when we’re connected. When we’re linked like we are right now, we have advantages Byram can’t understand. And we’re going to need those advantages.” “So you’re saying I need to back off and not coddle you, but also not shut you out anymore.” “Yeah. As much as I love you for wanting to protect me, that’s what I’m saying.” Keiran dragged in a breath and nodded. “You’re right. I know you’re right. I hear you.” “Good. It’s important. Because just like you don’t want anything to happen to me, I just as fiercely don’t want anything to happen to you either.” Gaige kissed him again. And Keiran kissed back, needing him to know how damn much he cared, how damned sorry he was for everything. When their lips separated, they continued to stand in the 143


embrace, their foreheads pressed together, savoring the quiet moment of communion. Keiran sensed questions flitting through Gaige’s mind, even though a sense of calm prevailed around them. “What’s on your mind, love?” “Something you said…” “What’s that?” “Your mother was the draegan lord? I guess I just assumed it was your father.” “Yes, my mother was. Her name was Eirene, and my father, Markus, was her true mate. They were both killed in Ilyrie. Some of the very first ones to die in Byram’s initial strike.” “I’m sorry.” “Me, too.” Gaige frowned. “If your father’s name was Markus and he was killed all that time ago, then who was Hareld? When I came here, I was told Hareld was your father and that he’d died about thirty years ago. And your name is Hareldson— Hareld’s son.” Keiran sighed. “And so we come to the crux of the twisted web that’s been woven, and in which I’ve had to live all these years.” At Gaige’s raised eyebrows, he continued. “Hareld and Iann were members of my mother’s draeganjhere. Their job was to protect all of us…her, my father, myself. When Byram’s troops stormed into the dwelling where we stayed that night and slaughtered my mother and father in their bed 144


before they could shift into winged form, Hareld and Iann grabbed me from my pallet, took me through a trapdoor in the ground, and escaped with me through a tunnel that came out into the forest. Another draegan child…” He grimaced at the memory. “A boy about my own age, who’d died in the attack, was left in my place.” “So Byram thought he’d killed you all.” “Yeah. We hid for a long time, then for years after that we moved around a lot, never staying in one place longer than a few days or weeks, always pretending we were human. Hareld raised me as his son to allay suspicion, but he and Iann were my protectors, keeping me safe, training me, so one day, when I was older and the timing was right, I could step into the role of leader since I was the only remaining draegan with ‘lord’ blood. Hareld was killed in an attack in a human village some years ago—he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, trading for supplies, when a detachment of Byram’s troops came through and did a general slash and burn of the town.” “Which is when the draegans began to look to you to make decisions?” “More or less. We’d been living with a small group of draegans at that time, of which Jax and Marta and her mate were also a part. Hareld was sort of loosely in charge, though there wasn’t a true leader. The others, except Iann, of course, all thought I was a young man when Hareld died because that’s what we’d led them to believe…all part of protecting my true identity so Byram wouldn’t find out I existed. “The group grew as Marta and her mate Dane had 145


children, and others found us and decided they preferred the safety of a group to living on their own. Then a few years ago, after a particularly hard winter, Iann and I came up with the idea to start raiding Byram’s food stores. Marta, Dane and Jax agreed. And so we did, picking small targets at first…just enough to get extra food. But as other draegans and then humans found out what we were doing, they joined us.” “And now you have over a hundred souls in the camp, with all of them looking to you keep them safe and fed.” “Pretty much. Like I said, I didn’t ask for this role. It just happened.” Gaige shook his head. “It didn’t just happen, Keiran. You’re a natural leader. People are drawn to you because you radiate strength and confidence and genuine caring. All the same things that attracted me to you when I came here. Your people don’t follow you because they have to. They follow you because they choose to. Because they trust you. Because you have all the qualities a good leader needs to possess. All the qualities”—he gave Keiran a pointed look—“of a draegan lord.” “I don’t know…” “I do.” Gaige’s breath whispered across his lips as he captured them in a kiss. As one kiss led to another and another, each growing deeper, seeking more, need stirred between them, a live thing that coiled around them, causing hands to wander and cocks to rise. Gaige sank onto the bed, pulling Keiran with him, then 146


rolled him onto his back and slid between his legs. “Yes,” Keiran breathed in invitation, spreading his legs wider. When Gaige leaned into him and licked over his nipples, Keiran buried his hands in his lover’s silken hair and gave himself up to Gaige’s loving. Gaige drew each peak, in turn, into his mouth, sucking, then biting down until the nubs were swollen and aching, and Keiran’s cock grew hard as granite, as if a direct link connected it to his nipples and what happened to them, happened to it. His hips surged up off the bed, seeking more contact, but Gaige held himself just far enough away Keiran couldn’t quite reach him with the stiff and painful part he wanted. “Gaige…please.” Gaige responded by giving one last bite to each nipple before his mouth moved downward in a warm, damp trek to Keiran’s abdomen. As his callused, yet gentle hands stroked Keiran’s chest, then slid down his sides to his hips in an achingly tender and possessive motion, he licked over and into his navel with slow thrusts that mimicked what Keiran suddenly, desperately wanted Gaige to be doing elsewhere. ::Tell me what you want, babe.:: ::You already know. I need you.:: Gaige dipped a finger into Keiran’s wet navel, gave it a slow, erotic swirl and then, as his tongue took its place, the slick heat of that same wet finger delved into the cleft in Keiran’s ass. 147


He hissed and raised his knees, giving his mate easier access, wanting that finger in the worst way. He felt Gaige’s smile in his mind. ::You want this?:: he asked, flicking just the tip of his digit over Keiran’s opening before drawing it away. ::Gods…don’t tease. Please…:: Gaige’s finger returned to the indentation in his abdomen, swirled again, then, in a sweet motion that almost made Keiran’s eyes roll back in his head, it slid into his ass. He bucked in response, pushing down onto it, needing to get it as deep as possible. Gaige twisted it inside him, then curved it up and brushed it over Keiran’s pleasure gland. Lightning seared through him, heating his blood, thickening his cock until it was so full he thought it might explode. Another finger pressed in to join the first and, as Gaige moved them both within him, stretching and stroking, Keiran realized Gaige no longer tongued his navel, but watched him instead. In the glow from the firelight he could just make out his features, see the intensity of the love and lust in his eyes. For reasons he couldn’t comprehend, having Gaige look at him as he writhed under the man’s intimate attentions only turned Keiran on more, made him harder. ::You are an incredible, sexy, beautiful man, do you know that?:: Gaige’s thoughts were a sultry rumble that stirred Keiran’s passion further. :: And watching you like this has me so hard I’m already leaking. See?:: He rose to his knees between Keiran’s legs and wrapped a hand around his long, 148


jutting shaft, giving it several pumps that made Keiran’s mouth water. “I want that,” Keiran whispered. “This?” His hand continued to stroke his cock, even as his fingers continued their plunder of Keiran’s hole. “Yes.” Gaige pulled his fingers out, leaving Keiran empty and horny and wanting. But then Gaige held out a hand, and when Keiran grasped it, Gaige pulled him up to a sitting position. “Then get me wet,” he said, holding his cock with one hand, and the back of Keiran’s head with the other. Keiran leaned toward it in hungry anticipation, lapping up the warm beads of cream that oozed from the slit, savoring the salty flavor on his tongue, before licking over the smooth, mushroom-shaped crown. He curled the fingers of his left hand around Gaige’s lean hip, and with his right, gripped the base of Gaige’s shaft and squeezed, drawing a sensual groan from his lover. He stroked the sleek skin up and down several times, admiring the way it moved over the turgid flesh, showing every vein and accentuating the thick, ruby crown as he pulled back and it tightened, then seductively enveloped them on the upstroke. The watching made him hungry for more. He opened his mouth and guided his lover’s cockhead between his lips. Gaige’s stuttered breathing told Keiran his mate was hungry for more, too. Knowing he had Gaige in a vulnerable position, and loving the way his mate’s fingers burrowed into his hair, pulling him closer and forcing his cock deeper into 149


Keiran’s throat, filled Keiran with a sense of power. He licked and stroked the beautiful prick until it was slick and pulsing, then worked it in and out of his mouth in quick motions, sucking the ample head on each outstroke, then swallowing the full length again. Gaige’s fingers tightened in his hair and his entire body trembled. “Damn…damn, Keiran…you’re so fucking good at this.” Keiran smiled around the thick length, continuing the sensual torment. But then Gaige took back control, pulling free of Keiran’s mouth and pressing him onto the bed with a fiery glint in his eyes. He pushed Keiran’s knees back and leaned down to capture his mouth in a burning, libidinous kiss. “I have to fuck you now,” he said, his breath hot on Keiran’s lips. Keiran felt the broad, wet tip of Gaige’s prick bearing down against his clenching hole. “Please.” With a hiss of raw pleasure, Gaige pushed, and his wet cock sank into Keiran’s ass all the way to the balls. “Gods, I love being a part of you,” Gaige rasped, closing his eyes and tipping his head back. Keiran skimmed his hands up over Gaige’s sleek, muscular arms to wrap his fingers around his lover’s biceps. He never felt more complete than he did when they were joined like this, one inside the other. The pulse in Gaige’s shaft thrummed against the walls of his passage. When he finally moved, Gaige’s motions were slow and took him deep inside Keiran, filling him so full Keiran ached 150


at the beauty of it. “Kiss me,” he said. Gaige lowered himself until their bodies pressed together and Keiran’s cock nestled between the heat of their abdomens. Gaige’s mouth, warm and eager, found Keiran’s and the kiss melded into yet another extension of their lovemaking, mirrored the give and take, the thrust and retreat of their bodies. Keiran curled an arm around his lover’s back, pulling him closer, and with his other hand, clasped one cheek of Gaige’s flexing ass. ::I love you.:: Gaige’s voice in his head was thick with emotion and desire. ::I can’t live without you, Keiran.:: ::I can’t live without you either. Ever. You’re my life.:: Gaige pressed his face against Keiran’s neck as his cock surged into Keiran again and again. ::No more secrets. No more distance. Just us, just this, together..:: ::Yes.:: ::Promise me.:: ::I promise.:: ::Say it again.:: ::I promise, no more secrets. No more overprotective smothering. And no more shutting you out.:: Gritty heat burned Keiran’s eyes, and his heart swelled with so much love for this man he almost couldn’t breathe. ::Everything I am, the good and the bad, is yours. I swear.:: They moved together in a fervent rhythm that drove Gaige’s cockhead against Keiran’s prostate on each stroke, sending jolts of heat to his shaft and balls pinned between their moving bodies. In spite of the chilly air, their skin burned hot. 151


The scent of male musk and clean sage soap blended into a drugging aroma that heightened all Keiran’s senses. Clinging together, their cries of “oh, gods, yes!” and “deeper” and “now, please, now” merged in the damp autumn night as they climbed to the pinnacle…and soared over it. After the last shudders had wracked through them, Gaige lifted his head and kissed him, then stroked the damp hair back off Keiran’s face. ::I don’t want to fight with you anymore. I hated it today.:: A twinge of guilt tightened Keiran’s stomach, but he didn’t try to hide it from Gaige. ::So did I. I am sorry.:: ::Me, too. It wasn’t all your fault.:: He nuzzled Keiran’s lips again and twitched his hips just enough to remind Keiran he was still full of his lover’s rod. ::I think we both have to admit, though, that this is much better.:: Keiran’s lips curved into a tired smile, and he felt Gaige’s do the same. Gaige made no move to pull out, which was fine with Keiran. He had no desire to be separated from the man. It had been a long day with too much space between them. “Are you planning to stay where you are?” he asked, hopeful. “I’m thinking about it. I like the idea of falling asleep while I’m inside you.” “I like it, too.” “That doesn’t mean I’m letting you off the hook, though. If we go to sleep, I mean. I have questions. Lots of them.” “I’ll tell you any and everything you want to know,” Keiran promised. “Now, later, whenever you want.” 152


Gaige rolled to his side, pulling Keiran with him onto his side, and Keiran draped a leg over his lover’s hips, keeping them anchored together. Sometimes there were real advantages to having a draegan’s virility, and Gaige had it in spades. His shaft, even now, was still partially firm, making it easy to continue holding him inside. Gaige flipped a blanket up over them. “I have a confession to make,” he said as they snuggled together. “What’s that?” “Before you, I’d never slept with a lover all night.” Keiran’s heart squeezed. “I have a confession to make, too. I’m a bit older than you are, and before you, I’d never slept with anyone all night either.” Gaige’s breathing came hard and fast, and his shock rippled through Keiran in steady pulses. He knew, even without delving in his lover’s thoughts, that he was thinking of Jax. “You hadn’t?” “No. Only you.” “How much?” Keiran’s brows drew together as he tried to follow his lover’s train of thought. “How much?” “You said you’re a bit older than I am. How much older?” He drew in a deep breath. “I’m one hundred and eight.” To his credit, Gaige didn’t seem surprised by it. He’d probably already done the math and guessed in the general vicinity. “Does it bother you? That I’m so much older?” Gaige played with a strand of Keiran’s hair, twirling it 153


between his fingers. “When you told me this morning that you’d been around since Byram first attacked the draegans, I admit, I was shaken by it. But I’ve had all day to wrap my mind around it, and, no, it doesn’t bother me as far as us being together. It is a bit intimidating, though, in terms of the fact you actually remember what things were like in Velensperia before Byram. For me, it’s all stories. For you, it was life.” “When you say it that way, it makes me feel old.” “I don’t mean it that way.” Keiran smiled and pulled him into a kiss. “I know what you mean. It’s okay. But you know what I really hope?” “What?” “I hope one day soon you’ll know what life without Byram is like, too.”

154


CHAPTER 9

Gaige awoke to a soft, shifting movement nearby. Stretched out on his stomach, he was so comfortable he couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes just yet. But when he heard a low sound—a thunk —they fluttered open of their own accord. The sight that greeted him made him wish he’d opened them sooner. In the pale gray light of early morning seeping through the tent walls, he took advantage of the moment to feast himself on the vision of his lover. Keiran, naked and magnificent, crouched by the fire in the next room of the tent, his back to Gaige. The broad strength of 155


his shoulders stretched and tightened as he reached to pick up several pieces of wood, then arrange them in the fire pit. His dark hair, a bit longer than when Gaige had first met him, hung loose, falling just below his shoulder blades in thick waves. When he had a fire going, he stood, giving Gaige a full view of his sexy backside, with his shoulders tapering down to a narrow waist, slim hips, an ass to lust after, and muscular legs covered in a dusting of dark hair Gaige knew from intimate experience was both soft and wiry, much like the curls on his chest and at his groin that Gaige found enormously arousing. With his legs slightly spread, Gaige even had a view of Keiran’s heavy scrotum hanging between them. Good gods almighty. Gaige found himself growing hard. Again. It felt as if he spent most of his time in this state these days. Memories of the night before rippled through him. Rippled straight to his cock, to be more precise. But along with the erotic remembrances came memories of the other events of yesterday, and a tight pull dragged at his chest. He understood now, and had forgiven Keiran for shutting him out, but he still remembered all too well how awful it had felt. How the aching void inside him had almost swallowed him whole. It wasn’t an experience he wanted to go through ever again. Pushing the haunting thoughts into a remote corner of his head, he let his mind wander to all the many questions he still 156


had that Keiran had promised he’d answer. The sight of Keiran returning to the bedroom, however, one hand juggling two steaming mugs by their handles, the other holding a wooden box, fast returned his thoughts to baser fare. He rolled onto his side and, propping one elbow up, rested his head on his hand and stared in rapt admiration at his lover’s groin. “You certainly woke up”—he grinned— “aroused this morning,” he said. Keiran set down the items he’d been carrying on the low table next to the bed and returned Gaige’s grin. “Says the man who slept with his perpetually hard cock inside me all night.” “I only woke you up once,” he reminded him, sitting up to take one of the heavy mugs Keiran handed him. “And if memory serves, the noises you made when I did were all pleasure with no complaint.” Holding the second mug, Keiran sat crossed-legged on the bed next to him and, wrapping a hand behind his head, dragged Gaige into a blistering kiss that warmed the chilly morning better than the fire popping and crackling several feet away. When they came up for air, their gazes held for several moments, and an incredible flood of love and peace filled Gaige. It seemed like from the moment they’d first made love in the cave, with Byram’s men nearby, they’d been swept along in a violent tempest that had tossed them from one intense moment to the next, forcing them to fight for their lives, their love, sometimes their sanity, and even for a few hours of sleep. 157


But right now, with the quiet of early morning surrounding them, the sweet, spicy scent of the herb tea Keiran had made wafting into the crisp air, and a new and intimate harmony resonating between them, Gaige wondered if this was the bliss he’d heard spoken of in tales and songs of romance and happily-ever-after. Certainly nothing of the sort was told or sung about at Byram’s stronghold, where anything but accounts of the high sorcerer’s glory were forbidden. But in the villages and towns he’d traveled through over the years, he’d listened to the storytellers and minstrels in secret and been enthralled. “Who would ever have believed the captain of Byram’s High Guard was a romantic at heart?” Keiran said softly, his eyes glistening like silver stars. Gaige knew he probably should be discomfited at having been found out, yet he wasn’t. Keiran dipping into his thoughts had become an almost comforting occurrence, and after yesterday’s silence, he’d much rather have his mate discover his little quirks than try to keep them walled up and create any barriers between them. “Just don’t pass it around,” he said, with a smile. “It wouldn’t do at all to have my reputation as a hardened soldier sullied.” Keiran brushed his lips again. “Your secret’s safe with me. I promise.” They drank the hot brew in comfortable silence, and as they did, Gaige realized he wasn’t the only one in a mellow mood. Keiran looked calmer and more at peace than he’d seen 158


him in days. “You’re in a good mood this morning,” he commented. A half-smile curved Keiran’s sensual lips. “It’s time.” “Time?” Then it hit him and a surge of pride filled him. “You’re going to tell them?” He nodded. “It’s time for me to quit hiding and wallowing in my fear. Our people need a proper leader, and it’s only going to become more important as the days go by. We’re going to have to try to track down as many of the small groups of draegans as we can before Byram gets to them, and bring them here if they’re willing to come. We all stand a better chance that way, if we’re united on one front.” “I agree.” “I’m going to need your help.” “Anything. Just tell me what I can do.” Keiran took another swallow of his tea, then cradled the mug between his hands. Capable, strong hands, Gaige thought, as he studied them. Capable of both tenderness, as he well knew, and the power necessary to rule a race. “I need somebody to take these farmers and hunters and make them into soldiers who can fight to protect themselves and their families.” Gaige lifted his gaze to meet his mate’s, understanding coursing through him. “And you want me to be that somebody?” “The members of the draeganjhere are all decent archers and know their way around weapons in general. But everyone else in camp is a civilian. We don’t have enough draeganjhere 159


to go around to protect them all, especially if we’re bringing other draegans here from outlying areas. You’re my best fighter. You’re an experienced soldier. You trained men to serve in the High Guard.” His dark brows pulled together into a frown. “I’m not going to lie to you, though. With as many inexperienced people as we have, I don’t think it’s going to be an easy task. But there’s no one I trust more than you. If anyone can do it, you can. Are you willing?” Gaige stared into the calm, steady depths of Keiran’s eyes and knew he couldn’t refuse him. He’d lived and worked in the camp long enough to agree it might very well be a thankless job. But if Keiran believed in him to get it done, he would. “Okay.” Keiran looked pleased and more than a little relieved. “Thank you.” “There’s just one thing that concerns me,” Gaige said, knowing he might as well say it because even if he didn’t, Keiran would read it any way. “What, love?” “Without getting into another heavy discussion about my past and my father’s sins not being mine and such…the reality is that as much as I know you want the people of the camp to accept me and trust me, every time they look at me, it’s going to be hard for them not to see the White Panther. Or worse, my father. How are they going to feel learning weaponry and strategy from a man who looks just like the general who killed their friends and families?” He shook his head. “Even I look at myself and see him.” 160


Lines of sympathy creased Keiran’s forehead. “It’s not like there’s a way around it,” Gaige said before Keiran could respond. “I wasn’t expecting a solution. I just wanted you to be aware there may be some who might have issues.” “There might be,” Keiran acknowledged with a sigh. “We just have to hope time and trust will win them over.” But then a light sparked behind his eyes and he stared at Gaige as if he’d just had an epiphany. “Although…I think I may have an idea that will help.” “What’s that?” “Scoot closer and turn around.” Gaige eyed him askance. Keiran smiled, spread his legs apart, and raised his knees, then patted the bed in front of him in invitation. Heat shot through Gaige as he ogled the enticing package between those muscular thighs. Keiran’s low, sexy laughter only heightened his desire. “Not for that. At least not right now. I want you to come sit between my legs with your back to me.” Not sure whether to be intrigued or disappointed, Gaige pushed off the covers and slid over until he was cradled between the heat of Keiran’s legs. It helped nothing that Keiran’s thick shaft poked his backside or that his own bobbed hard and eager against his thigh. “What are you up to?” he asked, looking at Keiran over his shoulder. “I told you…I have an idea. Now turn around and be still. Let me work my magick.” 161


That brought a smile to Gaige’s lips. “Would that be literal magick or figurative magick?” Keiran’s rich chuckle sent another ripple of heat through Gaige. “Shhh…let me concentrate.” Keiran swept Gaige’s hair aside and kissed the back of his neck. The spot where his lips touched tingled, and Gaige wondered if maybe the draegan had a bit of magick in his kiss. The last thing Gaige had expected to feel next was the gentle drag of a wooden comb through his hair, although the moment he did, he decided a kiss wasn’t the only magick Keiran had to offer. With each stroke of the comb, he grew more and more relaxed. The ache in his groin continued to thrum, but it felt as if his body were slowly turning to a strand of kenta grass, bending and swaying in a warm summer breeze. He closed his eyes and gave himself over to it. Long minutes passed. He wasn’t sure when the combing ended and Keiran’s gentle fingers took their place, tugging and toying at the long strands, but feeling his lover’s fingertips brush his skin was even better. It was intimate in a way he’d never thought such a thing could be. “There,” Keiran finally said, his voice soft, his breath warm against Gaige’s ear. “No one will confuse you with your father now, or doubt the heritage left you by your mother.” Gaige’s eyes fluttered open. His body buzzed with a tingling awareness and a slow, pulsing pleasure. “Why’s that?” “Feel.” Uncertain, Gaige lifted a hand to his hair. Though it still 162


hung long and loose, the top layer had been worked into numerous thin braids, each bound at the end with a tiny, tied piece of leather. “What is this?” he asked, another smile creeping onto his face. “Braiding is a draegan tradition. There was a time when all draegans braided their hair. We’ve gotten away from it over the past century, for protective reasons.” “To better blend in with humans?” Gaige guessed. “So Byram and his soldiers can’t spot you as easily?” Which would go along with the fact Jax had always worn his braided…the draegan who did everything possible not to be like the humans. “That’s right. But the time has come for the draegans to take back our birthright in all its many aspects. We’ve hidden long enough. It’s served its purpose, allowed us to regroup. But now it’s time to let Byram know we won’t go quietly.” Gaige turned around on the bed to face Keiran. “Have I told you how damned proud I am of you?” “Have I told you the feeling’s mutual?” He planted a slow, devouring kiss on Gaige. Then his sensuous lips curved in a smile. “Okay, trade places. Now you can do mine.” Keiran moved around on the bed until he sat with his back to Gaige. Gaige picked up the comb from the table, but hesitated. “I’ve never braided anything but rope.” “This works the same way.” “How do you want me to do it?” Keiran had created several thin ones on him over the top layer of his hair. Jax 163


wore all of his hair braided into half a dozen or so plaits. Marta usually wore hers in one long braid down her back. “It doesn’t matter. Do whatever you’d like—there’s no right or wrong.” Gaige dug in with the comb. Keiran had thick, luxurious hair. The strands shimmered in the morning light, and the clean scent of soap from his bath last night drifted from it each time the comb slid through it, arousing Gaige’s senses. When it was sleek and tangle free, he laid aside the comb and, after several attempts, found his groove and discovered hair was considerably more pleasant than rough rope fiber. And working with Keiran’s hair—the texture of it, the sensual intimacy of feeling it slide between his fingers—was even better still. He plaited two thin braids on each side of Keiran’s face, leaving the bulk of his hair loose. He found several tiny strips of leather lying on the table that Keiran had cut when he’d done Gaige’s and secured his handiwork. Not bad, he decided. Keiran turned to face him and Gaige’s stomach fluttered. Not bad at all. Though not causing a drastic alteration to Keiran’s appearance, something about the braids made him look shockingly sexy, and untamed in a wild, earthy way Gaige had never seen him before. No, that wasn’t true. In his winged form Keiran was untamed, rippling with raw power and potent magick. Looking at him now, Gaige saw a hint of that magnificent creature lurking just below the surface…and it gave him a full-out arousal. 164


“Holy gods,” he murmured. “You’re sexy as hel like this. I mean…you always are, but now…good gods.” His cock thrummed in appreciation. Keiran’s gaze moved down to Gaige’s hard, twitching shaft, and a flash of white teeth and a knowing glint in his eyes just made Gaige’s body buzz harder. “I’ll share a secret with you…the braiding focuses draegan magick, makes it more intense. Kind of like how I explained to you the words work when doing magick. Have you ever looked closely at all of our belts, or the straps on our quivers and sword scabbards, or even the fringe and decorations on our clothes and blankets?” “All braided,” Gaige recalled. He’d never noticed it before, yet now, in retrospect, it seemed so obvious. “All braided,” Keiran confirmed. Gaige squeezed his fingers around the base of his cock so hard it made him wince, trying to rein in the sudden, potent lust that had hit him, that tore through his body and made him want to shove Keiran back onto the bed and plow into him like a crazed animal. “Yeah, okay,” he said with a barely restrained groan, “but that doesn’t explain why right now it feels like you’re radiating some kind of sexual energy that’s so strong it’s making my skin burn and my balls throb like they’re going to explode.” Keiran grinned. “Probably because we have such a powerful connection between us to start with, and then you were already turned on, so all that longing and sexual intention was focused into the braiding. Magnifying it.” 165


“Damn. Keiran…” His breaths came out in pained gasps that matched the pounding ache in his testicles. Keiran changed places with him, moving behind Gaige. “Lean back on me,” he directed, once again cradling Gaige between his strong thighs. “What are you going to do?” “What do you think I’m going to do?” Keiran pushed Gaige’s hand away and curved his own fingers around Gaige’s erection, giving it a squeeze that almost brought Gaige off the bed. “I’m going to make you feel good,” Keiran said, his voice a husky caress. If Gaige hadn’t been so supremely horny and desperate for relief, he might have been embarrassed by his fast and fervid response to Keiran’s attention. But when Keiran turned Gaige’s face toward him and covered his mouth with his own, licking hard and deep into it with his tongue, and his hands performed sinful, lascivious acts on Gaige’s cock and balls, he didn’t give a damn about anything except how incredible it felt and how hard he could come. ::That’s it, love. Let go. Give me everything.:: And Gaige did, his body convulsing as he spurted more seed than he ever would have thought possible. It just kept coming and coming and coming until he collapsed, sagging against Keiran’s chest, spent in more ways than one. “You are so fucking sexy,” Keiran growled against his ear, swirling his fingers through the slick cream that coated Gaige’s abdomen, groin, and thighs. “Yeah, well, the next time,” Gaige panted, still breathing 166


hard, “do me a favor and give me a warning when you’re getting all sex-magicky, so I don’t end up humiliating myself at the wrong time.” Keiran’s low chuckle curled around and through him, luring a grin from Gaige. *

*

*

Keiran held Gaige’s heavy, warm body, savoring this rare opportunity at unhurried intimacy. He and Gaige had had so few of these moments in the time they’d known each other. Marta, Iann, and the others would invade soon enough since this tent was command central. And the conflict with Byram hung like a dark storm over the horizon. But for now, this brief moment in time, he enjoyed it while he could, playing a hand over his lover’s chest, admiring with his touch the smooth heated skin, the flat nubs of his masculine nipples, the swell of his sculpted chest muscles and the way they dropped off to his ribs and the plane of his rippling abdomen. Gaige looked healthier today than he had since before his capture. The cuts and welts over his skin appeared less angry, and his bruises paler. The wound on his shoulder had closed over again and Keiran noticed Gaige was able to use his arm this morning without the pained grimace that had so often crossed his handsome face in days past. “Can I ask you a question?” Gaige asked. “Anything.” “Iann told me last night that those in the blood line of the draegan lords have long lives. Longer than regular draegans.” 167


“We do. That’s why I’ve been able to pass myself off as younger than I really am.” In contrast to the sexual heat and close comfort they’d been sharing, Keiran felt hesitation and worry rippling off Gaige. “Iann said you could live four hundred years or more.” “It’s possible.” He wondered where this was going and why it was upsetting Gaige so. Last night he’d said—and Keiran had believed him—that their age difference didn’t bother him. Concerned, he asked, “What is it, Gaige?” “I’ve been thinking that with my background…I’m only part draegan, and not lordly draegan at that. And humans don’t live much past eighty or ninety at best. So…” He sucked in a shaky breath. “Unless something happens to one of us in battle or in an accident, you’ll watch me grow old and die while you’ll still be relatively young.” His grief tore at Keiran’s heart. “No, love…you’re imlain’ du draeganlahn.” “What, exactly, is that supposed to mean? You told me it meant the true mate of a draegan. Iann said it means true mate of a draegan lord. In either case, what does it have to do with this?” Keiran sighed. “I wasn’t completely honest with you when you asked me before what it meant because I hadn’t told you yet who I really was. Iann’s right. It does mean true mate of a draegan lord. And it has everything to do with this conversation. Remember I told you you might discover you have abilities you never had before?” Gaige rolled away from him, to his side facing Keiran, his 168


head propped on a hand. “Because of our joining, yes.” “When draegans are true-mated, the merging of their blood and bodily fluids gives them a connection.” “They can read each other’s thoughts and emotions and communicate with one another.” “Yes and no. Ordinary draegans do develop an ability to sense one another’s thoughts, to share emotions to a certain extent. But they can’t communicate telepathically when they’re in human form.” “But you’ve talked to me that way since after we escaped from Thrythgar. Both when you’ve been in winged and human form. And then yesterday I could talk back.” “I know…” A soft huff of surprise escaped Gaige, and Keiran knew he’d just figured it out. “You mean you can do it, we can do it, because of who you are?” “Yes. But also because of who you are.” “I don’t understand.” “When a draegan lord joins with his or her true mate, the joining itself and the blood-letting create a bond that’s above and beyond an ordinary draegan true-mating. The mate takes on many of the traits and abilities of the lord. That’s part of what’s passed during the physical joining.” “Like what happened again yesterday.” “Yes. The reason it’s so intense is because it’s—” “Some of your power passing to me.” “Exactly.” “I started being able to talk back to you telepathically right 169


after that happened yesterday.” “I know.” “Okay, so you say the mate takes on some of the traits and abilities of the lord. Meaning what? I’m going to start breathing fire or something?” “Honestly…I’m not sure. You’re part human and I don’t know if a draegan lord has ever mated with…” “A half-breed,” Gaige supplied. Keiran gave a nod of acknowledgment, though he hated the term half-breed. “Ordinarily, the mate would develop the ability to breathe fire, among other things. With you, we’ll just have to wait and see what happens.” “Will I be able to shift? Take winged form eventually?” Keiran heard the hopeful tone in his mate’s voice. “I don’t know, m’aerlas.” “If I can’t, then I’m guessing that pretty much leaves out the fire breathing thing.” Keiran caressed his cheek. “Like I said, we’ll just have to wait and see. I suspect you’re the first of your kind. You’re unique. You may become more draegan-like—draegan-lordlike—in a traditional sense, or your may develop partial abilities. There’s no way to tell.” “How long does this process take?” “Keep in mind there hasn’t been a draegan lord truemating since my parents, and I was just a boy when they died, so I don’t have a lot of direct information. Only bits and pieces Iann and Hareld mentioned in passing over the years, and then, when we were at Kellesborne, while you slept that last 170


day, I looked through the library and found a few references in books. From what I can tell, it varies, but it usually happens over a period of weeks.” “So, back to my original question, what does this have to do with your long life and my short one?” “It’s likely you’ll live to be much older than you would have otherwise. Being part draegan means you would have outlived your human counterparts by many years anyway. Now…I’d say it’s a safe bet it will be even longer.” Gaige was quiet and seemed lost in thought. Keiran could have reached out to see what was going on in his mind, but chose not to probe. He was learning that most of the time Gaige shared his thoughts with him anyway. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from asking, “Are you okay with all this?” “I’m not going to deny it’s…a lot. On one hand, it’s kind of terrifying because of the unknown factors. On the other, it’s also exhilarating in a strange sort of way. But, yeah, I’m okay with it.” Even though he’d sensed the answer, a mental sigh of relief swept through Keiran. Gaige’s blue eyes sparkled with mischief. “You might check back with me about that, though, if the whole fire breathing thing starts.” That drew a chuckle from Keiran. He sat up, reached over to the table and picked up the carved delik wooden box he’d brought in earlier, and set it on the bed between them. “I have something to show you. ” 171


Gaige sat up and studied it. “Is that draega? The words carved on the box?” “It is. I brought this from Kellesborne.” “What’s it say?” Keiran spoke the words aloud in the ancient tongue, watching Gaige as he said them, knowing them by heart. Gaige’s blond brows tugged together. “That’s familiar. I’ve heard it before.” “Yes, you have,” Keiran said, smiling. He reached over and turned Gaige’s right hand palm up, exposing the thin scar that stretched from the fleshy pad below his thumb up and across to just below his pinky, then held out his own hand with the same. A rush of surprise, then bone-melting love shimmered off Gaige and flowed into Keiran, saturating him with what felt like golden sunlight as Gaige remembered. “The words you spoke when we did the blood-letting.” Keiran translated, “ I am yours, beloved. As you are mine. For all of eternity.” He opened the box to reveal two wide bracelets, both a rich blue-silver in color, with numerous strips of smooth metal braided together in an elaborate pattern, and the draegan words of true-mating engraved into the interwoven pieces. “More elorium,” Gaige breathed. Keiran loved the way his mate’s surprise and pleasure brought color to his cheeks and made his eyes shine. “What are these?” “These,” Keiran said, lifting one from its silken fabric nest in the box, “are true mate bracelets. In times past, draegans 172


who found a true mate would exchange bracelets and wear them to show their devotion to one another.” “Braided, of course,” Gaige said with a hint of humor in his tone. “Of course.” “But something tells me the average draegans didn’t have elorium bracelets.” “No. They were usually silver. Most of the time they were simple, with just three woven strands and perhaps the names of the mates or some lines of love engraved on them. They were worn on the upper arm and could be put on or removed at will.” “And these?” “These were crafted especially for the draegan lords who were lucky enough to find a true mate. Not all of them did. The thing about these bracelets, though, is that unlike the ones worn by other draegans…these are permanent.” He glanced up at Gaige, not certain how his mate would feel about that detail. “Permanent in what way?” “Once you put them on, they can’t be removed.” “But if you can open them to get them on, then you have to be able to take them off, too, right?” He didn’t sound appalled by the idea, which Keiran had feared. Curiosity seemed to be his driving emotion at the moment. Yet there was also an underlying pulse of…what was it? Keiran couldn’t quite read it. “No, once they’re on and fastened, the ancient draegan magick in them binds them and they stay on until…” 173


“Until the wearers die?” Gaige finished for him. “Until the wearers’ physical bodies die,” Keiran clarified. “But the bond between mates lasts far beyond that. The bracelets were meant to be a symbol of the true mates’ eternal devotion in this lifetime and beyond, showing that they couldn’t be parted. But they’re also meant to be a symbol of the longevity of the draegan race. A symbol that the lord and his or her true mate made a vow to stand by one another for all time and, by association, the draegan people for all time.” Their gazes locked, and Keiran again felt the undercurrent of an emotion in Gaige he couldn’t pinpoint. “Heavy stuff,” Gaige murmured. Keiran nodded. “Too heavy?” He’d brought the bracelets from Kellesborne, not certain how Gaige would react to them. When he’d retrieved them from the secret room in the castle he hadn’t even been sure how he felt about them. He’d had no qualms about the permanence of his relationship with Gaige. That had been cemented during their joining. But choosing to wear the bracelets meant not only a commitment to Gaige, but embracing, with no turning back, his role as draegan lord. The thought had terrified him at the time. He’d brought the bracelets with him anyway because some inner voice had insisted…just in case. In case of what, though, he hadn’t been certain. Then this morning, when he’d awakened, for the first time ever, his path had stretched in front of him with clarity. “You want us to wear these? You want to be bound to me for all time?” Gaige asked, his voice husky. 174


He wound his fingers through Gaige’s. “We’re already bound to each other and have been from the moment we joined. We don’t need the bracelets for that. We don’t have to wear them if you don’t want to.” “And if I do?” he asked softly. Keiran’s heart stalled in his chest before resuming with a throb. He hadn’t realized until this moment that he hadn’t dared to hope. “Do you?” Gaige picked up the second bracelet and held it in his hand, studying it. When he looked back up at Keiran, in a flash of illumination Keiran finally recognized the emotion in Gaige he hadn’t been able to name before…a deep yearning to belong. Of course. He remembered back to when he’d first taken Gaige to Kellesborne, right after Keiran had discovered his lover was none other than the White Panther. It had taken him hours to get Gaige to finally talk and admit why he hadn’t given up the draegans’ and Keiran’s location to Byram. And one of the things Gaige had told him was that when he was with Keiran and the draegans, for the first time in his life he felt like he belonged. “Yes,” Gaige said. “I want us to wear them.” His still-pounding-heart in his throat, Keiran drew Gaige to him and kissed him. ::Do you know how much I love you?:: ::Yes. Do you know how much I love you?:: Keiran nodded, a lump of emotion burning in his throat. “So…let’s do this,” Gaige said. 175


“Are you sure?” “I’m sure.” Their hearts raced…Keiran felt them, heard them, as if they were both his own. And then, for no possible reason he could explain, they grinned at one another like two jittery schoolboys who’d just made a daring pact with one another. It cut through the thick layer of nervous strain that had built around them. “How do we go about this?” Gaige asked, turning the bracelet in his hand. “Is there some special something we have to do?” “You put yours on me, and I put mine on you.” “Right or left arm?” “Right. The same side we did the blood-letting.” “Okay.” Then Gaige frowned in concentration. “How do we get them open?” Keiran looked at the one he held. “There’s an indentation inside, by the crease. See it? Press it with your fingernail.” Both the bracelets snapped open at the same time and he and Gaige looked up, startled. “So…together then?” Gaige asked, his voice breathless. “Yeah, let’s do it together.” They each slid the curve of the cool, braided metal around the other’s bicep. “What if…” Gaige started. “What if what?” “What if, let’s say, two people tried to put these on and they weren’t really true mates?” 176


Gaige’s sudden insecurity tugged at Keiran’s heart. “Then the bracelets wouldn’t fasten. The magick knows when it’s the real thing. But you already know the truth of us…” “I know. I just… sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I have this fear that everything that’s happened between us—our joining, how I feel about you, all of it—is just a dream,” he confessed. “And I’m afraid I’m going to wake up and be back in my bed at Thrythgar, still captain of the High Guard, with an existence I hate looming ahead of me, and all this is going to be gone.” Keiran reached out with his right hand and held Gaige’s in a firm grip. “Feel this? Solid, real flesh. It’s not a dream.” Gaige’s long fingers curled through his. Keiran smiled at him. “You ready?” “I’m ready.” The cuffs snapped closed with quick snicks. As soon as Keiran’s closed, the bracelet curled around his arm like a live entity, conforming to its shape and contours. The metal, which had been cool to the touch, grew warm, integrating with his body temperature. Then a mild tingling sensation in the skin around it sprang to life and, for an odd beat of time, it almost felt as if the bracelet were attaching itself to him. The whole process took just a matter of moments, and although he was aware of the bracelet’s weight on his arm, and seeing it in place caused an emotional tremor low in his belly, it felt strangely right. “Okay, that was…odd,” Gaige said, still staring as his. “Did yours feel like it was…” 177


“Becoming a part of me?” Keiran finished for him. Scary how they were doing that more and more, finishing one another’s sentences. Gaige flexed his arm. “It’s more comfortable than I thought it would be. As if…well, like you said, as if it’s a part of me.” “It’s the elorium, molding to your body, your shape, movements.” Gaige looked up at Keiran, a tremulous smile on his face. “So…they fastened.” “Of course they did.” “I guess this means you’re officially mine now.” That brought a smile to Keiran’s own face. He took in Gaige’s tall, lean beautiful body, his blue eyes sparkling, his white-blond hair falling past his shoulders adorned with draegan braids, and the blue-silver woven band around his bicep marking him as both Keiran’s mate and a lord in his own right. A fierce wave of love and pride flooded through him. “I’ve been yours from the moment I met you.” “Why don’t you come here and remind me?” Gaige invited, his voice husky with desire, rousing Keiran’s own needs with its intoxicating tone. “I suspect the others might descend on us soon,” Keiran said, but he was already sliding close, wrapping his legs around Gaige’s hips. “But I’m thinking there’s probably enough time for me to do a more thorough job of making you feel good than I did earlier.” “Thorough. I like the sound of that,” Gaige breathed, 178


leaning in to kiss him. “And I don’t really care who shows up—” His face suddenly contorted and his eyes closed. “What is it, love?” “Ah…gods!” Gaige’s hands came up to press at his temples. His breathing came out in strangled gasps. Heart pounding, Keiran pulled him into an embrace. “Gaige, talk to me!” “It…oh, gods, Keiran…” It was little more than a choked whisper. “It hurts!” He’d barely gotten the words out when agony sliced through Keiran, too, hot and sharp like a burning poker, to lodge behind his eyes. He bent over against Gaige and closed his eyes, trying to shut it out. What in hel was going on? “Keiran…help me…” It was the last thing Keiran heard before blackness swept over him.

179


CHAPTER 10

Dark agony rippled around and through Gaige, like oily, poisoned water seeping into his very soul. He wanted to give up, let it take him, swallow him, put an end to his pain. Yet a sense of urgency wouldn’t let him. Something pulled at him, tugging him back…back…back… He jerked awake, breathing hard. “Thank gods.” He recognized Keiran’s voice and, blinking, realized Keiran sat next to him, his eyes like swirling storm clouds, and worry rippling off him in waves. He brushed a hand over Gaige’s cheek. “Are you okay?” Gaige’s head throbbed. He squeezed his eyes closed, trying to make it stop, but when it didn’t work, let them flutter 180


open again as he tried to get his bearings. He was in bed, partially covered with a blanket. “I’m…not sure. Are you?” He had a vague memory of Keiran suffering as well before the pain had become too much to bear and he’d blacked out. “Yeah. I think I just got the overflow of whatever happened to you, because of our link. I wasn’t out long. We were worried…we thought maybe you were under attack from a nyctophan. When I tried to read you, it was so dark and chaotic.” His voice shook, hitting home to Gaige just how scared Keiran had been. He noticed Keiran was dressed, though it looked as if he’d pulled on his clothes in a hurry. His loose shirt hung open and untied, to reveal a dusting of dark curls. And for the first time, Gaige noticed Marta standing behind Keiran, a concerned expression on her face. “I don’t know what happened…” It had been dark and chaotic, with images flashing into his mind, each one an agony of sensation. And then in a churning whirlwind, it all came together…what he’d seen, heard, experienced. “Oh, fuck. We have to go!” He tried to sit up, but the pounding in his head intensified, dropping him back onto the bed. He rolled to his side, holding his head, and fighting off a swell of nausea as the pain blotted out everything else. “Here, try to get some of this into him,” Marta said, sounding far away. A gentle hand stroked his forehead, then an arm slid beneath his neck and lifted his head. “It’s going to be okay. 181


Drink some of this for me.” Keiran…warm, strong, his scent comforting. A mug was pressed to his lips. “Drink, Gaige. Please.” He opened his mouth. Swallowed. Gagged. Tried again, and got some of the hot, pungent brew down. Then some more. An odd heat began to build in his stomach and quickly spread to the rest of him, making his skin crawl, his blood sizzle, his hair tingle. “Holy gods,” he gasped, as he grew lightheaded, then, suddenly, behind his closed eyelids, everything burst into sparkling shards of red and gold. For a moment his head throbbed so hard he thought he might pass out again. But, in pulses, the throbbing began to ease. He opened his eyes slowly, testing. “What is that stuff?” “It’s an herbal concoction. A few of the same ingredients that were in the brew I gave you in Byram’s dungeon. But this is meant to be healing and the adrenaline rush is a side effect rather than the intent. Is it helping at all?” “I think so,” he said, trying not to move too much and keep his head still. But the urgency he’d felt before was back. “Byram’s attacking or is going to attack one of the small settlements where some draegans live.” “What?” “I saw it. He’s going to kill them all…draegans, humans. He’s going to slaughter them.” “You had a dreaming? That’s what it was…a dreaming.” Keiran sounded startled. “A dreaming?” Marta echoed. “He has the sight?” 182


“We don’t know for sure. He’s had a couple of other dreams—” “Keiran!” Gaige clutched at his hand. “Listen to me. It wasn’t just a dream. We have to go there. Now!” He made another attempt to sit up and this time managed it. His head still hurt like a demon from hel hammered a blade against his skull, but the nausea wasn’t as bad, and as long as he didn’t move too quickly he could cope. Keiran steadied him with an arm around his shoulder. “I know you’re upset, but I told you, love…even if you see things, it doesn’t mean for certain they’ll come to pass.” Gaige looked into his eyes and willed his mate to hear him. “This wasn’t like the others. This is happening. Or it’s going to happen very soon. You have to believe me. This…this was different. It’s real.” Keiran stared at him, his face drawn and worried. Gaige’s head hurt too much to try to read him, see what he was thinking, but he feared it wasn’t positive. But then Keiran nodded. “Okay. Can you show me like we did before?” “No.” Gaige’s senses went into overload just thinking about it. He could barely function as it was, and didn’t think he could deal with reliving the experiences of the dream to show Keiran. “It’s too much. I can’t…” Panic threaded through him. “It’s all right.” Keiran’s hands wrapped around his. “Just tell me then. What did you see? Was it a camp or a village? How many people? How many of Byram’s men?” 183


“It was small, a few huts, no more. And I’d say maybe fifteen or twenty of Byram’s men.” “What about the location? Anything that might give us a hint where this happens?” “Forest. But not like here…denser, maybe more mountainous.” Gaige tried to remember without getting too close to it all again. “There were rocks, or a big one anyway, that looked like…” He frowned, wondering if he remembered it right. “Like…a draegan. A winged draegan.” “A rock that looks like a draegan in winged form.” Marta sounded thoughtful, as if trying to place such a thing. To her credit, if she thought he was having delusions, she didn’t let on, although he wasn’t sure if she believed in him or just believed in Keiran and was willing to go along because Keiran was. In truth, if Gaige hadn’t seen it himself, felt it, suffered the agony of the pain when it happened, he might not have believed it. “Anything else?” Keiran probed. “No, not really. Except, it was orange behind the rock. Like…like the sky was burning.” Keiran and Marta both appeared lost in concentration. And then Marta’s eyes widened. “Do you suppose he saw the Zekklesian?” she asked Keiran. “Winged draegan…yeah, it might be. Orange sky, though? Although, if you stood on its east side, you’d be able to see the sunset behind it.” “What’s the Zekklesian?” Gaige asked. “It’s a draegan temple,” Keiran explained. “What’s left of 184


it, anyway, from thousands of years ago. There used to be two carved stone draegans guarding its entrance. Only one remains, and it’s deep in the forest near the foothills of the Aurion Mountains. It’s an isolated spot.” “That’s got to be it,” Marta said, “based on the way he’s described it. And I wouldn’t be surprised if a few draegans had settled there, close to the temple ruins, because it is so out of the way.” “How far is it?” Gaige asked. “You said the orange could be sunset. What I saw could have been yesterday’s sunset or today’s.” Keiran and Marta exchanged a glance. “It’s probably a four, maybe five day journey on foot,” Keiran said. Fear surged through Gaige’s veins. “Four or five days? They’ll all be dead by then,” he whispered. “You don’t know that. It might not happen for weeks.” Gaige shook his head. “No, it won’t be that long. I feel it.” He didn’t know what else he could do to convince Keiran. All he had to go on was what was in his gut, and in his gut, he knew the attack was imminent. Though Gaige still couldn’t get a read on Keiran because of the continued ache in his head, Keiran must have been able to sense his turmoil because he once again looked to Marta. “I could fly and be there in a day or so.” “No!” Gaige and Marta said at the same time. “It’s too dangerous. The nets. The nyctos.” “He’s right,” Marta agreed. “You flew to Thrythgar and 185


from there to Kellesborne and it was sheer luck you didn’t get caught. And now that you two escaped from him by wing, Byram’s probably increased the number of nets he has out there. Iann believes it may be possible to fight the nyctos, but it’s speculation. We don’t know how. Considering the distance, you could and probably would fly right into a trap between here and there.” Keiran turned back to look at Gaige, his expression sober. “It’s the fastest way, m’aerlas. If there are people in danger…” “No.” Gaige dragged a hand through his hair, then rubbed his aching eyes. “Damn it, Keiran, don’t make me choose between these people’s lives and yours. I won’t do it. Marta’s right…the likelihood of you being caught in a trap is too high. If you’re killed, then it wouldn’t help the people anyway, would it? You’d all die.” Keiran looked torn, but then he sighed. “All right. Marta, get your boys Wen and Jarrad, and three or four of the fittest, strongest fighters and meet back here as soon as possible.” He looked to Gaige. “We can’t afford to take too many and leave this camp unprotected.” Gaige nodded, knowing he was right. Until they could train some more fighters, they’d have to be cautious not to spread the draeganjhere too thin. He pushed the covers away and sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Then, with Keiran still standing by for support, he rose. Marta handed him his pants, obviously unfazed by his nudity except for what he could only read as an admiring 186


glance below his waist. As he pulled on his pants, her gaze traveled upward. It locked on his upper arm and her green eyes widened. A soft, shocked huff of breath escaped her. Gaige looked down at his arm and, in spite of his damned miserable headache, a surge of both pleasure and something deeper slid through his veins. The braided band was so comfortable—just a slight weight—he’d forgotten he wore it. But seeing it reminded him all over again of its meaning, for both his relationship with Keiran and the draegan people. Marta looked from him to Keiran. “That,” she said in a breathless voice he’d never before heard her use, “isn’t a simple…” She pushed up Keiran’s sleeve, and Keiran let her without fighting it. She stared at the elorium band twined around his bicep. “I’ve never seen true mate bracelets like these, but I’ve heard stories of them. I know what they mean,” she murmured. She lifted a hand to her throat and blinked. “Oh, my gods of Erantz. You’re…” “Yes,” Keiran said. “Yes,” she echoed in a whisper. “All this time I’ve known you… And yet… And yet it feels like I knew somehow. But how is this possible? I thought…everyone thought the line had ended.” Keiran set a gentle hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “It’s a long story, Marta, and one I’m happy to tell. But right now, we need to get moving.” Keiran was kind, yet the firm tone in his voice, unmistakably the leader, sent a pleasurable shiver up Gaige’s spine. Keiran’s gaze lifted to meet with Gaige’s across Marta’s 187


head, and the flare of heat Gaige saw in his eyes told him Keiran hadn’t missed his reaction. “Of course. ” Marta shook her head as if clearing it. She segued back to her usual practical self, though the dazed look in her eyes lingered. “Who do you want to leave in charge?” “Iann,” Keiran responded. “He’ll want to go.” “I know, but we’re going to travel light and fast, and though his heart and will are as strong as a young draegan, I’m afraid his legs aren’t up to the task any longer.” “Does he know?” Marta asked. Keiran didn’t miss a beat by asking her to what she referred. “Yes. He always has. No one else does, though, aside from the three of us and Iann. Not yet anyway.” But then his brow wrinkled. “Except Byram.” That rattled Marta. “Byram knows? For how long?” “Since Keiran came to get me at Thrythgar,” Gaige said quietly. “If he hadn’t, Byram wouldn’t have found out.” ::Don’t even think about blaming yourself. You had no control over any of it.:: Keiran’s gaze seared into Gaige. ::If you hadn’t come for me, hadn’t needed to breathe fire…:: “He would have found out soon enough anyway. I couldn’t stay hidden forever.” Keiran slid a hand behind Gaige’s head and pulled him into a brief but heart-felt kiss. “It’s just as well he knows now, and that the rest of the draegans will soon.” “Knowing will unite the draegans as nothing else could,” Marta agreed. “Once the word spreads that the draegan lords 188


have returned…” Her reverent gaze lit on Keiran and then Gaige. Which made Gaige twitch with discomfort. Surely she wasn’t implying she thought of him as a lord, too? “Even draegans in outlying areas will be drawn here, I suspect,” Marta continued. “They’ll seek the lords’ protection.” Keiran winced. Not enough for Marta to notice, but Gaige knew his every expression so well he couldn’t miss it. Marta’s words had reminded Keiran of the weight of his responsibility, and perhaps his fears that he’d fail his people. This time it was Gaige who reached out, resting a hand low on Keiran’s back, offering his support. “And that’s a good thing,” he said, trying to give Keiran assurance. “The more of them who are here with us, the easier it will be to protect them from Byram’s raids and assassins.” Keiran nodded, and his gaze conveyed his appreciation for Gaige’s encouragement. “But right now our focus needs to turn outward,” Keiran said. “There are people in danger, and we need to be there.” Marta nodded, already on her way out of the tent. “I’ll be back with the others as fast as I can.” A vision of what he’d seen flashed through Gaige again, causing him to shudder, and his head to give an agonizing throb. Four or five days… Gods, please don’t let us be too late. “We won’t be.” Keiran’s expression was dark and fierce. “We’ll arrive before anything happens.” 189


*

*

*

They ran the entire way, making decent time, though it still seemed painfully slow to Gaige, who couldn’t get the visions of slaughter out of his mind. The group stopped only for a few brief hours at a time to sleep, taking shifts at watch. His muscles burning and fatigued, Gaige understood why Keiran hadn’t wanted Iann along. As strong as he was, the older draegan probably wouldn’t have been able to keep up with the pace. Aside from himself, Keiran, Marta, and her two oldest sons Wen and Jarrad, Marta had chosen three others to accompany them: a powerfully built male draegan with skin the color of coal named Solanis, a young draegan called Tim—short for Timmin, he’d told Gaige—with a shock of bright red hair and a skill with the bow that rivaled Gaige’s, and a tall, slim woman named Eliessán, who had dark silky hair that hung nearly to her waist, and eyes a deep shade of purple he’d never seen before. Gaige couldn’t tell for sure whether she was draegan or human, and couldn’t stop wondering if she might be neither. She dressed much as Marta did, much as they all did, in leather pants, shirt, knee-high boots, and cloak. And yet, there was still something about her that felt almost otherworldly. When he’d served in the camp’s draeganjhere, he’d worked several times with Solanis, and had seen Tim around, but Eliessán was a new face to him. None of the newcomers seemed to have any issues with Gaige, as he’d feared they might after the encounter with Jax at the camp. They treated him no differently than anyone else, 190


for which he was relieved. On the third day out, they stopped just before midnight to rest. Gaige had slept for a few hours during the last break, and the closer they drew to the mountains, the more his insides churned with fear they wouldn’t be in time. His head had finally quit aching except for an occasional twinge, but he couldn’t shake the sickness that seemed a constant in his gut. Too keyed up to sleep, he volunteered to take watch while the others closed their eyes. He paced the perimeter of the camp several times until he felt confident their location was secure for the moment, then sank onto a large, weathered boulder that sat on an incline, allowing him to see their camp and beyond into the forest. The woods were different here from those around their main camp. The trees felt older, the forest damper and darker, even in the daytime. The tall pines and the gold-leafed delik trees had given way to oaks with massive trunks and autumn-reddened leaves, thick, shrubby cedars, and clinging, woody vines that wrapped like gray gnarled fingers around everything. That, combined with the scents of clammy, earthy decay, left him with a sensation of being closed in, and it made him uneasy. A sigh that could have been the chill autumn breeze through the trees, or motion somewhere nearby set his senses on full alert. Standing, he lifted his bow and nocked an arrow on the string, gazing into the depths of the woods, watching, listening. “It’s only I,” a smooth, slightly foreign-sounding female voice said from his left. 191


Gaige recognized it, but waited until Eliessán’s tall, lithe form came into full view before he lowered his bow. He didn’t know her well, had only exchanged a few words with her since they’d begun the journey, but he tended to trust his instincts about people, and though there was something odd about her, she didn’t trigger any warning signals in him either. Of course the fact Keiran and Marta obviously trusted her probably helped. Although…they’d trusted Jax, too, but Gaige had never felt comfortable around him. She approached with silent steps. As Gaige sank back onto the boulder, she joined him. “You should be resting,” he said, keeping his voice low so as not to disturb the others. He was glad to see—and feel— Keiran getting some sleep. His mate had pushed them all hard, but himself the hardest, taking watch more than any of their companions until Gaige had insisted this time Keiran lay down and close his eyes. “I don’t require much sleep,” Eliessán said. “Why’s that?” “It’s not in my genetic code.” Gaige was again struck that something about the woman seemed neither draegan nor human. In the yellow-white glow from the twin moons, he studied her more closely. Her features were finely etched, her demeanor calm, and no matter how hard they ran or how far, she’d never appeared overtaxed by it. “And what genetic code might that be?” She pushed long strands of hair behind one of her ears. “This one.” 192


Whatever he’d been expecting, it hadn’t been that. Gaige gaped at the curved elegance of her ear…which ended in a slender point at the top. “You’re…” “Elfkind, yes.” His pulse skipped several beats at her confirmation. An elf. He’d traveled all over Velensperia, had seen much, and even more so in the past couple of months since he’d joined the draegans and met Keiran. But the possibility of ever seeing an elf, creatures so long gone from Velensperia they were more legend than history, would never have entered his mind. “I thought all the elves had left Velensperia thousands of years ago?” “We did, traveling over the Onyx Sea to the lands beyond.” “Then what are you doing here? Are there others of you?” “Just I. I was banished from my lands many years ago.” She said it as calmly as she’d said and done everything else over the past few days. Yet he thought he saw a sheen of sadness in her eyes. He couldn’t imagine what this beautiful, serene creature could have done that would have been worthy of banishment, but he also knew all too well how deceptive outward appearances could be. “Why were you banished? Or is that too personal a question.” “It is personal. But even were I to tell you, it’s likely you wouldn’t believe me.” “I don’t know…I’ve seen and experienced some pretty amazing things of late. I’m not sure there’s much I wouldn’t 193


believe.” “Very well then. I killed the high elf king.” Her calmness after such a statement was almost unnerving. “I thought elves were immortal?” “We are for the most part. We can’t die from sickness or old age. But we can be killed in battle. A sword or arrow through the heart is just as deadly to us as it is to you.” “And this high king was, presumably, the high king because he was the ruler of all elfkind?” “He was.” “Was he a tyrant?” “No. He was quite peaceful. And before you ask, because I suspect you will, my reasons for ending his life are my own.” “Fair enough. So, your punishment for killing him was banishment? I would have thought after such a deed they might have put you to death.” “That would be too easy on me. Better I was sent away and forced to live with my sins for all the rest of my long days.” “And so you came here to Velensperia. How do you know Keiran and the draegans? Why do you fight with us? I lived in camp for several weeks and never saw you.” “I don’t live among you. But I’ve known Hareldson for many years and believe in what he does. He uses my services to complement those of his draeganjhere.” “Meaning you’re what? A hired mercenary?” “I have skills that can be of use to him. And in turn, he has given me his protection when I’ve needed it.” “And when might that be, since you’re immortal?” 194


“You ask many questions. I suspect that trait made you an excellent inquisitor when you were captain of High Sorcerer Byram’s High Guard.” He sensed Eliessán was merely being factual, as she seemed to be about everything. But a lump of lead settled in Gaige’s gut from the reminder of his past. “I’ve upset you.” “No,” he said, quick on the defense. “I just try not to think too much about my time working for Byram.” “You shouldn’t ignore it. Because of it, you have many abilities that are invaluable to Hareldson. Your anger and hurt at the people in your past makes you strong. Gives you a power above and beyond those your joining with Hareldson has and will supply.” “How do you know about that?” he asked, startled she’d know something he’d thought only he and Keiran were aware of. “About the abilities I’ve gotten and may still get from our joining?” “I feel it in you, the power of the draegan lords, as I’ve always felt it in Hareldson.” “You knew about him?” That news further rocked Gaige. “Does Keiran realize you know?” “Why should it matter? His secret is out, or soon to be. As it should be. The power of the draegan lords flows in his veins, and his people—your people, both draegan and human alike—will look to him for guidance and protection in the dark storm that’s coming. The power in you, however…” His pulse stuttered. “The power in me what?” 195


“It’s still simmering, building steam until the time comes for it to surge to the surface like magma. When it does”—her voice lowered in solemn tone—“it, along with the strength your anger gives you, will explode in a firestorm the likes of which the people of Velensperia have never known.” Gaige’s heart pounded so hard it was difficult to breathe. Power, anger, firestorms…good gods, what was she implying about him? But then memories of his two dreams at Kellesborne tore through him—Byram’s stronghold surrounded by flames, and Kellesborne nothing but a ruin. “What do you mean?” he whispered, his voice barely above a rasp. She slowly turned to look at him. Her eyes seemed as old as time, reflecting starlight and moonlight from a past long forgotten. “You hold inside you enormous power, Gaige Rizik Albioneson. And one day in the not too distant future you’ll be faced with a choice.” Gaige swallowed hard, not wanting to hear anymore, not trusting anything she said, yet, like a dark, seductive drug to which he’d sold his soul, he was impotent to turn away. “What choice?” “To embrace your power in its entirety in order to save what you hold most dear, and risk everything for which you now fight. Or stand true to those who depend on you, and lose what you hold most dear.” Though the night wasn’t as cold as recent others had been, a shiver wracked through Gaige, from his very core, turning him to ice. Through tortured lungs, he whispered, “Who are 196


you?” “One who’s been around far longer than you might imagine, and who’s seen more than you would want to imagine.” “You can’t see the future.” “I don’t have to. You can.”

197


CHAPTER 11

A branch snapped far in the distance…a damp, thick pop. The kind made from a heavy, booted foot stepping on it. Eliessán’s long hunting knife was already in her hand by the time Gaige lifted his bow with hands still cold and trembling from the elf’s revelations. For a moment his head throbbed again, forcing his eyes closed. But he willed them open and the pain away. With immense effort, he forced himself to focus on the here and now, pushing away the terrifying talk of the future, powers he couldn’t even imagine, and choices he refused to. “Straight ahead,” Eliessán whispered. “Let’s go.” 198


They crept around the campsite and into the deeper woods, pausing often to listen, moving forward when they heard nothing but the breeze in the drying autumn leaves still clinging to the oaks. Gaige was very aware the campsite behind them wasn’t guarded with them both in pursuit. They were still close enough to hear anything that might happen, but they couldn’t risk going much farther. “Split up,” he whispered to Eliessán, pointing her to the left while he took the right. She nodded and disappeared without a sound. Gaige continued through the trees, stepping over downed limbs, careful of every footfall, not wanting to give away his location as their mystery guest had. Then he heard it. A faint hiss no more than a stride or two away. He stopped, his senses tuned in to every subtlety around him. Dead silence greeted his ears. Too much silence. With a sixth sense he’d never experienced before, he suddenly knew right where his prey hid. In a swift movement he reached into the bushes next to him and curled his arm around a surprisingly scrawny throat. With a hard yank, he dragged the struggling soldier out of his hiding spot and to his feet. With one arm in a chokehold around the man’s neck, Gaige pressed the edge of his vrieg just under his ear. “It appears you’ve just run into some trouble,” he growled. A choking wheeze that might have been a protest if he’d cared to listen or lighten his grip—which he didn’t—was his 199


response, along with a swinging booted foot attempting to kick him. Taller than the man by several inches, Gaige put a stop to that by lifting the man’s feet off the ground completely and tightening his chokehold until the solider whimpered. He dragged the squirming figure back to the campsite and entered the small clearing at the same time as Eliessán, who, he suspected, had heard the ruckus. Keiran was already on his feet, knife in hand, with the others in varying stages of getting there as well. “We’ve got ourselves a spy,” Gaige announced, pulling the soldier to the trunk of an oak. Eliessán, reading his every move and intention, waited, rope in hand, and began tying the man to the tree the moment Gaige shoved him to the ground in a sitting position, his back against it. Then she moved to the front and tied his feet together with deft motions. Gaige patted him down and removed all his weaponry, then stepped away to take a closer look at the soldier in the moonlight. A derisive sneer twisted his lips. “Sisk. It figures.” The soldier’s head lifted and he squinted up at Gaige, trying to see past the hood of Gaige’s cloak, clearly not certain who spoke and how someone would know his name. Gaige pushed his hood back to give the man a better view and see with whom he dealt. The young man’s eyes widened. “You,” he breathed. “Yeah, aren’t you the lucky one? You’ve been a pain in my ass from the moment you first darkened the door at Byram’s stronghold looking for a job months ago.” “You know this one?” Keiran asked, stepping up next to 200


Gaige, so close their shoulders brushed and a tremor of heat scalded through Gaige’s veins. Together, they stared down at the young, defiant human wearing the all-black uniform of Byram’s High Guard. “Unfortunately, yes. He’s the cocky little weasel who ratted me out to Byram when I went back to Thrythgar to help the families.” Anger surged in Keiran, probably not blatant to anyone else, but to Gaige, who felt it almost as if it were his own, it packed a powerful wallop. “This is the filth who was responsible for getting you captured?” he said in a regal and intimidating tone. And he did it well. Keiran could be every inch the pissed off, dangerously powerful lord if the occasion warranted it. “Yes. His name’s Sisk. Devlin Sisk. He had delusions of grandeur when he came to the stronghold. Didn’t want to work or pay his dues, just wanted to move up the ranks from day one, and was willing to do anything he could to get there. He even propositioned me, promising me—now let me see if I remember these words correctly—the ‘best fucking cocksucking you’ve ever had’ if I agreed to promote him to lieutenant,” Gaige said with disgust, enjoying how fear twined around the young man’s foolish arrogance now. “Did he?” Keiran said in a low rumble that caused the hair on Gaige’s arms to stand on end. A tingle shot through him at the jealous possessiveness rippling off Keiran. Gaige could almost hear his lover saying Mine! without even delving into his thoughts. 201


Keiran sank to a crouch, resting his elbows on his knees, still holding his long knife in his right hand. “So, Devlin Sisk, what brings you to these woods tonight?” Sisk refused to look at Keiran, or Gaige, or any of the others who’d gathered around in a loose circle, and made a show of struggling to free himself from Eliessán’s perfect knots. An impossibility, Gaige could see from where he stood. “When I ask questions, I expect to be answered,” Keiran growled, before the silence dragged. “Fuck you!” Sisk spat, his head finally whipping around so he could glare at Keiran. “Now you’re propositioning me? That’s ballsy, boy. Do you have any idea what you’re offering and to whom?” Again his voice was that low, dangerous rumble. He slid the tip of his knife down Sisk’s cheek and on a slow path from one ear to the other under his chin. Sisk’s breath came in quick huffs. He didn’t move for fear Keiran’s knife would slip and slit his throat. His eyes wide, he continued to glare, but fear was as much of the churning emotion in them as bravado. “You sold out what’s mine,” Keiran continued, reaching up with his left hand to stroke Gaige’s thigh in a possessive motion that had Sisk’s gaze following it, and his eyes widening farther, “and you think being insolent with me is your best approach?” Keiran made a tsking noise. “Not the brightest, is he?” Gaige knew Keiran spoke to him, though his gaze never left Sisk. Nor did his hand leave Gaige’s leg, where it was 202


wreaking wicked havoc on Gaige’s senses. Each firm slide of his palm up and down was a warm, suggestive abrasion that brought him closer and closer to Gaige’s aching groin. “No,” Gaige responded, managing to keep his voice steady. “He’s not.” “I suggest you talk to me, Devlin…for your own health and well-being. My mate”—he squeezed Gaige’s thigh—“my friends and I are in a hurry and don’t have time to dawdle with a sniveling boy who thinks he’s much more important than he is.” Keiran’s tone hardened. “Where’s the rest of your detachment?” Sisk shook his head. “I’ll not telling you nothing, you draegan scum.” Marta’s fist lashed out so fast Gaige didn’t see it coming. Neither did Sisk. His head slammed back against the tree and blood beaded on his lip. “Watch your mouth,” Marta ground out. “You have no idea to whom you’re speaking, and I won’t tolerate your attitude.” Sisk licked out with his tongue, leaving a smear of red. His glare was still defiant, but less so. “I—” “Uh-uh,” Keiran said, stopping him. “Best you think hard about what comes out of your mouth next, because I have no way or intention of stopping my friend here if she decides she’s had enough of your sorry hide. And if she doesn’t finish you off, then I suspect my mate very well might since he owes you for your betrayal. And, really…” Keiran leaned in almost companionably, speaking softly near the soldier’s ear. “If you 203


had a choice between Captain Rizik’s wrath and his pleasure? Well…speaking as the man who shares his bed each night, you’ll desperately wish you’d stayed on his good side and enticed him to suck your cock.” He leaned closer still. “He’s a master, and it’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced in your life,” he whispered as Sisk’s eyes bulged. Keiran leaned back, but his blade had moved downward and now teased over the crotch of Sisk’s pants. Again Sisk seemed frozen, afraid the more tender part of his anatomy would suffer from any movement. “It’s too late now for you to reap those benefits of a relationship with the captain. But I’d think you’d much prefer to tell us what we need to know and hope he lets you live rather than risk having him carve your shriveled prick and testicles from your body. He’s also a master of the blade, and I wouldn’t want to be on his bad side. Come to think of it, I wouldn’t want to be on my bad side either.” Sisk panted now, and Gaige swore he could hear the man’s heart careening in his chest. “I’m not telling you nothing!” he repeated, but without the conviction he’d had before. “A shame.” Keiran rose and stepped back. Without a word, Solanis moved in and leveled a blow with his large, meaty fist, landing it on the other side of Sisk’s mouth from where Marta had hit him. “I didn’t do nothing!” Sisk cried. “Oh, you’ve done plenty,” Marta said, as Solanis drew his clenched hand back and swung again. Blood trickled from Sisk’s nose now. “Stop! I was just 204


passing through the forest and heard a noise.” “A noise? Would that be the noise of your detachment as they hiked on, leaving you to scout for them?” Keiran demanded. “No! No detachment. I…I’m out here on my own.” “A lie. Where’s your detachment? Where are they heading? What are their plans?” Tears welled in Sisk’s eyes. When Solanis drew back to take another swing, Sisk squealed like a small animal who’d been poked with a stick. “No…please…don’t hit me again!” he sobbed, fat streaks of dampness trailing down his cheeks. “Please!” Gaige watched him in disgust and even a little pity. Sisk couldn’t even take a few punches without falling apart. The young man had never been soldier material from the beginning, but Byram had insisted any who came for a job got one because he’d been so up in arms over the draegan rebels’ increased activity he’d wanted to bolster his forces as much as possible. Sisk had thought he’d be able to kiss ass to the top, and had resented every moment Gaige had forced him to go through the training drills, had begged off sick, pretended to injure himself, all while preening around the stronghold like he was the gods’ gift to them all, trying to find a way to Byram’s ear whenever possible. But put the man in a real-life situation where he had to be strong, and he was as useless as a mewling infant. Keiran’s feelings mirrored Gaige’s, and Gaige could tell he found Sisk’s behavior as repugnant as Gaige did. 205


“Enough!” Keiran growled, stopping Solanis in midpunch. He stared down at the blubbering man. “You have to be the most pathetic piece of soldier I’ve ever seen in my long days, Sisk. Good gods. Quit putting yourself through this and just tell us about your detachment.” “I can’t. I won’t,” he whined. “Can’t or won’t? Which one?” “The high s-sorcerer will k-kill me…” “Trust me when I tell you the high sorcerer is the least of your problems right now. You’ve been captured by draegans, Sisk. You’re tied to a tree. You’re outnumbered eight to one. Do you honestly think you have a prayer of getting out of here unless you cooperate? Don’t be a bigger fool than you already are.” Sobbing was his only response. “Oh, for gods’ sakes!” Keiran muttered, throwing off his cloak. “Look at me,” Keiran ordered the soldier. Sisk shook his head. “Look at me or I’ll let my friend continue his beating.” With a shaking gasp, Sisk grudgingly lifted his head and opened his swollen eyes. “We don’t have time for your whining. This is your last chance. Talk or meet your fate.” Sisk gulped. “I-I can’t…” Gaige knew what Keiran was going to do the moment the thought blossomed in Keiran’s head. The air around the draegan began to shimmer and even in the dark, with only the glow from the moons to cast a pale 206


illumination, there was no mistaking Keiran’s outline stretching, growing larger. Gaige and the others moved back, knowing what was coming and making room. Sisk gaped, eyes wide, as what used to be a strong, noble man became a strong, noble, and magnificent creature that towered over them all. Keiran spread huge silver wings so wide they touched the tops of the trees on either side of the clearing and let out a primal shriek that sent tingles up and down Gaige’s spine. He took a pounding step closer to the man tied to the tree. Sisk screamed. The terror-filled howl echoed through the forest and lodged in Gaige’s still-tender head, causing it to throb in protest. “Oh, gods! I’m going to die…I’m going to die!” Sisk sobbed, struggling against his bonds like a man possessed. “I’ll tell you anything, anything…gods, please don’t hurt meeee!” The last ended in another terrified wail. Keiran’s wings pulled in close to his body, and then with the fluidity of water flowing over sleek stone, his body contracted and a nude, majestic, dark-haired man once again stood in front of the prisoner. “Talk,” Keiran ordered, his voice gruff. “I want to know everything. And stop sniveling.” “M-my detachment is traveling n-northeast to some ttemple place. The high sorcerer says there’s a small camp there.” 207


“What does he want with it?” “I heard the lieutenant say one of the s-sorcerer’s spies knew of the place, and the sorcerer is l-looking for someone.” “A draegan?” “I don’t know. They n-never told me nothing.” “Think, Sisk. Was it a draegan? The draegan leader?” “Yes, he’s l-looking for the leader. But not at this camp. This one’s someone else.” “Who?” “I don’t know.” “Sisk!” “I don’t know, I swear! I never heard a name. Just that wwe had to bring the one he wants to him and k-kill all the rest.” “When did you leave your detachment? How far are they from the settlement and do they know we’re here?” “I…I’m not sure.” “Don’t lie to me, boy.” The air around Keiran began to glimmer again and his shadow lengthened. Sisk shrieked. “No, no! Please don’t turn into that th-thing again. I’ll tell you. They’re about three or four hours from here, or should be based on how long ago they sent me out to scout. And n-no, I don’t think they know you’re here. I-I only just saw you a little while ago.” Keiran turned away. “Let’s go,” he told Gaige and the others. “If we move fast, we can catch them before they get to the settlement.” He began gathering his clothes, boots, and weapons from 208


where they’d fallen to the ground when he shifted. To Gaige’s surprise, not a single article looked like it had been ripped or torn as Keiran enlarged and changed shape. The only other time he’d seen Keiran shift, Keiran had disrobed first. But obviously it wasn’t because his clothes got ruined when he changed. The last time he must have taken his clothes and weapons off first and stowed them in his pack so he’d have something to wear at their destination. “What about me?” Sisk whined. “You can’t just leave me here! Don’t leave me here tied up. Please!” In a few strides Eliessán was at his side. In a swift motion, she whisked the blade of her knife across Sisk’s throat. “We can’t risk him getting free and revealing us,” she said in that same calm voice she always used. She wiped her knife on the ground, slid it back into its sheath at her belt, and strode away to gather her pack. Gaige looked at the man, now slumped and quiet, and felt a surge of pity for him. Keiran pulled on his pants in silence next to Gaige and, once again, his emotions mirrored Gaige’s. The draegans, in general, honored life and tended not to take lives unless they had to. Elves, apparently, didn’t have those same qualms. *

*

*

“They’re just over that hill, and maybe an eighth of a league from the Zekklesian,” Wen whispered, as he slithered in next to the rest of them behind a large rock. “I’d say there are twenty of them, all on foot, but heavily armed. I couldn’t 209


see the settlement. It looks like the woods are thick between the Zekklesian and the mountains, so it’s probably hidden within them somewhere.” The gray chill of dawn seeped through Keiran’s cloak and clothing as he contemplated Wen’s report. The detachment was too damned closed to the temple and, most likely, to the settlement for his comfort. They should have pushed harder, run faster. He’d hoped to cut them off before they got anywhere near the Zekklesian, before the settlement would be in harm’s way. “All right, let’s move out. Gaige, Wen, Eliessán, and Tim you take the left. Marta, Solanis, Jarrad and I will take the right. I want to flank them, try to get around them before they reach the temple. If they get past us, find the settlement and get there as fast as you can. I don’t think I have to say this, but I will anyway…I don’t want to lose any lives in that camp. Do what you have to to protect those people.” With a solemn nod, they split up. ::Be careful,:: he said to Gaige, hating to be parted from him for any reason, but Gaige was his strongest, smartest fighter and he needed to know the left flank was in the best hands. Gaige looked back over his shoulder and Keiran felt a wave of love radiating toward him. ::I will. And you as well.:: The denseness of the old forest pressed in around them, making it difficult to follow a straight path as they had to travel over and around fallen trees and large boulders and rock formations. 210


When they reached the ruins of the ancient draegan temple, the sun still hadn’t peeked over the horizon yet. And the troops had already passed. “Damn, they’re moving fast through these wretched woods,” Marta said. “Yes, as if they know exactly where they’re going,” Keiran speculated aloud. “Too exactly,” Solanis commented, his voice a deep thrum. “Sisk mentioned a spy. You think one of the village’s own betrayed them?” Marta asked. “Gaige told me Byram has spies all over the land, and he offers them treasure and wealth for information. Of course, once they give him the information he most often kills them. But the lure of wealth to those who live in poverty can be too much to resist, and they don’t have any idea of what their true fate will be at Byram’s hands.” “Byram…the great deceiver,” Marta muttered darkly. They heard shouting not far ahead. Keiran’s heart lurched into his throat as he and his three companions sprinted through the cold gray forest. They burst into a clearing only two or three times bigger than the one where they’d rested and questioned Sisk earlier. Set within it were a handful of small but sturdy thatch huts gathered around a central, smoking fire pit. Byram had sent twenty men to attack this tiny place? And with High Guard, his own personal soldiers, rather than field troops? Who was he after? 211


The detachment of black-clad soldiers hadn’t been here long from the looks of things. A tall, gangly man and a young woman fought back-to-back with swords against four of Byram’s men, while a teenage boy and another woman raced to throw water onto the huts as two soldiers held torches to them. The other members of Byram’s detachment were just delving into the fray Keiran and his companions charged into the clearing. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Eliessán moving nearby, and Gaige dispatching one of the soldiers who’d been firing the huts. The soldiers, discovering their attack wasn’t going to go as smoothly as they’d no doubt planned, found themselves in a fight for their lives as the draegans and Gaige and Eliessán, along with the still-swinging man and woman who lived here, took them on head-to-head. “Hareldson!” Wen shouted, from somewhere nearby. Keiran thrust his sword into the belly of the soldier he fought, and spotted Wen tangling with a burly man who weighed enough to make two of the young draegan. As he watched, in a swift movement Wen killed the soldier, then held out a hand to help up the woman lying on the ground who’d earlier been trying to put out fires. With his other hand, Wen motioned with his knife behind Keiran. Keiran looked where Wen had indicated. “Shit!” A man was dragging an old woman out of one of the huts near the forest’s edge, while three others raced to help him, clearly wanting to join in on the sport. 212


Keiran jumped over the fallen body near him, dodged another soldier who came at him with a sword, and raced toward the four and the woman. Gaige arrived at the same time he did, and as Keiran slid his sword into the nearest soldier, Gaige, in a swift movement, buried his vrieg in the neck artery of the man who held the woman, then caught her in his arms. “I’ve got her,” he said, shoving the body of the dead soldier away with his booted foot. His blue eyes burned bright with fury at what the men had no doubt been about to do, his emotions so powerful they flooded through Keiran in a rush. The other two men took off at a run into the trees. “We can’t let any of them get away,” Gaige said, still holding the clearly terrified, yet oddly silent old woman. “They won’t. I’ll get them.” Knowing once the men were into the deep woods it would be difficult to track them and keep up, Keiran called upon the primal flame that burned deep inside him, letting the ancient magick swirl and build, and then, in a heart’s beat, felt the surge of strength and power of his winged form take him. He spread his wings and with a roar of elation at being free of the earthly plane for a short while, lifted off the ground. ::Gods damn it, Keiran! You’re putting yourself in danger.:: ::It’s the only way to be sure I get them. I’ll be fine. They won’t be. Make sure the others are safe.:: He still felt Gaige’s worry billowing through him, warning him to be cautious, but then felt his mate’s attention turn 213


elsewhere. He saw him, in his mind’s eye, carrying the old woman to a safe spot, then plowing back into the melee. Keiran focused his energies on the two running men. As he gained altitude, he could make out flashes of them amongst the dense trees as the first rays of the morning sun shot across the sky in warm streaks of silver-gold. He was tempted to follow the men for a while to have a chance to stay in the air longer. But Gaige’s warning rang in his mind, and his mate’s fear, even from a distance, coiled through his entrails. So he focused his concentration on the task to be done. He inhaled long and deep, letting the glands that lined his esophagus open and ignite the volatile gas that escaped. Then, in a gusty exhale, he let loose a steady burst of spitting flame. It licked at the autumn-dried leaves of the treetops, seared though the bark as if were thin paper, and scorched the ground below. He heard the screams, felt the men’s fear beating in his heart, and sorrowed for them as he would any life about to be brought to a premature end. He watched one of the men go down, felt his life force lessen and then disappear. The second man continued to run, darting through the flaming trees, trying to outrun the havoc. He veered to the south and Keiran followed, having trouble keeping an eye on him through the dense trees. But then the man shot into a small open space, giving Keiran the visual he needed. He drew in another breath, hovered in place, and let a new wave of flame pour free to eat a path of destruction through the woods…until it found its 214


mark. With one final look below, he turned and headed back to the settlement, making a pass around its perimeter to be sure no other soldiers had stolen away. Confident none had, he hovered above the settlement, noting the battle was over. Then with a beat of his massive wings, he lowered himself to the ground on the opposite side of the clearing from the huts. The moment his feet touched earth, he shifted back into human form. Gaige approached, holding Keiran’s clothes, his longs legs fast eating the distance between them. “It wasn’t sunset I saw,” he said, stopping in front of Keiran. “The orange sky…it was you.” He buried a hand in Keiran’s hair and pulled him into a hard, hungry kiss conveying his anger and fear, as well as his relief Keiran was okay. When he pulled back, his eyes burned with intensity. “Don’t ever worry the bloody hel of out me like that again,” he growled. “You could have gotten caught.” “But I wasn’t.” “You take too many risks by flying. You’ve been lucky, but the odds are against that luck holding out, damn it. Promise me you won’t fly again.” Keiran stared at him, taken aback. He fought the urge to snap at his mate, but only managed to keep a partial rein on his words. “You know I can’t promise such a thing. Telling a draegan not to ever fly again would be like someone telling you not to breathe again.” Gaige looked away from him, staring over his shoulder, his 215


expression pained. “You don’t know what it’s like, Keiran,” he said, his voice low and gritty, “to have you up there, not knowing what’s going on, and me trapped down here with my feet stuck on the damned ground, useless if something should happen to you.” His fear eddied around Keiran with such power it swept away most of his own frustration as understanding from his mate’s point of view crept in to replace it. Gaige shook his head and gave a shuddering sigh. ::I wish…:: ::You wish what?:: ::I wish I could just shift, damn it. Then I’d know and I wouldn’t worry as much because I could be up there with you. I wouldn’t feel so gods damned helpless.:: His heart twisting at his mate’s despair, Keiran cupped his cheek, wishing he knew what to say or how to make him feel better. There was a small possibility Gaige might develop the ability to shift to winged form because of their mating and the draegan lord blood. But with him being part human, Keiran suspected such a thing wasn’t likely. And he couldn’t give his mate false hope. “I can’t promise not to fly, but how else can I help?” he asked. “How can I make it easier for you?” Gaige returned his gaze to Keiran’s. “Take me with you. From now on, when you go up, take me with you, so at least…” He swallowed hard. “So at least I know what’s happening to you.” Keiran’s heart flooded with love and pride. He didn’t 216


bother to remind Gaige that going up with him would put Gaige at risk, too, should they run into a net and draw a nyctophan. He knew his mate would have already thought of that and didn’t care. He also knew all too well how it felt to be helpless while the one he loved was in danger, and if he could ease Gaige’s worry, he’d not deny him. He pulled Gaige’s face close and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Okay.” “Okay.” Gaige sighed, his relief palpable. He handed Keiran his clothes. “Here. You might want to put them on. You’ve got a bunch of people over there by the huts who are pretty much in shock. I know you decided to tell everyone who you are, but the breathing fire thing…it was kind of a dramatic way to do it.” Then a smile quirked at the corner of Gaige’s mouth. “You probably don’t want to render them further speechless with this”—his hot gaze traveled the length of Keiran’s body, lingering at his groin—“as magnificent as it is.” For the first time, Keiran realized Gaige stood so that his tall, broad-shouldered body blocked Keiran’s nudity from the view of the gathered group across the clearing. He had no qualms about displaying his skin to the draegans, but he realized Gaige was right since the humans, particularly the human women, might not be as comfortable with the sight of him. Especially in the fully aroused state he now exhibited. Flying often did that to him. And Gaige’s close proximity wasn’t helping anything. Neither were his mate’s randy thoughts in his head. “It would probably help if you quit looking at me like that,” Keiran groused, trying not to smile. 217


With an economy of movement, he pulled on his clothes and shoved his feet into his boots. “Did we lose anyone?” he asked Gaige as he dressed. “No. No one. But there’s something odd you should know.” “What’s that?” “There’s only one draegan in this settlement.” Keiran’s brows drew together. “Only one?” “Yes.” “Who is it?” He scanned the group over Gaige’s shoulder, wondering if it was the tall, bony man with short dark hair who’d fought so valiantly in spite of the fact his sword skills hadn’t matched those of his attackers. Or perhaps the youth, who looked strong and fit. “It’s the old woman.”

218


CHAPTER 12

There were seven of them in all—an older couple, Agathe and Jacob, who’d stayed hidden in one of the huts during the attack, the woman Wen had saved from probable rape, Sarah, and her teenage son Wesley, the thin man whose name was Thomas, a woman just a few years younger than Gaige named Lilia who was the group’s healer, and the tiny, shriveled old draegan woman the rest of them called Sele. The draegan woman had been afflicted with what Lilia called “the mind sickness” and couldn’t speak. Which explained why she’d been so silent when the soldiers dragged her out of the hut, Gaige thought. Now she sat huddled at the fire with a blanket wrapped around her, her long gray hair 219


straggling down her thin back, staring into the flames as if the rest of the people in the clearing didn’t exist. In spite of the danger they’d just survived, the people of the small settlement insisted they didn’t need or want to return to the main draegan camp with Gaige, Keiran, and the others, no matter how Keiran argued there was safety in numbers and it was in their own best interest to do so. The attack had caught them by surprise, but even still, they refused to be run out of their homes again, no matter how humble those homes might be, or the fact that two of the huts were nothing but smoldering ash from the soldiers’ torches. When Keiran asked what they meant by being run out of their homes again, they told their story. Four years earlier, their village in the northern mountains had been decimated by Byram’s raiding troops. A healthy population of one hundred men, women and children had been reduced to less than a dozen people when all had been said and done. Those who’d survived had traveled together, seeking a place of solitude where they could live without constant fear. And they’d found it, they thought, here near the ancient draegan temple. Gaige had listened to the tale with a sick knot in his gut. How many long years had he blindly followed Byram, hunted innocents, taken lives? These people had lost everything— their friends, families, homes—in one of Byram’s raids. A raid that could have occurred because Byram thought the humans harbored draegans amongst them, or because the village hadn’t paid the hefty taxes Byram levied on the citizens of Velensperia, or simply because the sorcerer “felt” the villagers 220


might rebel against him. And though he, himself, hadn’t been involved in the destruction of their particular village, Gaige had witnessed and been party to the destruction of others. For the first time in days the damning voice in his head spoke up again. What right do you have to stand here and pretend to offer your support and understanding to these people when you easily could have been one of their attackers? It could have been you running your sword through their husbands and fathers, wives and mothers. There was a time you wouldn’t have thought twice about it. Captain Rizik, the White Panther…it’s who you were. Eliessán’s words about his anger and power came back to haunt him. He didn’t know whether to believe the elf or not, but what she’d said had struck a chord that continued to echo inside him. Maybe it’s who you still are somewhere deep inside. Maybe Jax was right and you’ll be the White Panther until the day you die. A cold prickle crawled up Gaige’s spine and he realized he felt eyes on his back. He swung around, vrieg in hand out of instinct. But rather than discovering one of Byram’s soldiers who’d survived, he found the old woman’s piercing gaze boring into him. In spite of her earlier silent daze, and the impression she lived only in body but her mind no longer inhabited this plane, some light of life and intelligence still burned within her. Because right now it was focused on Gaige. Eerily so. Like she was just seeing him for the first time. 221


He felt frozen, unable to turn away, yet unable to approach her, as if an invisible hand held him in place and wouldn’t allow it. Her withered gray lips parted. Was she going to speak? But then they closed again. As Gaige watched, a single tear spilled from her eye and slid down her wrinkled cheek. She turned away to stare at the fire once again. Able to move at last, Gaige crossed to her and knelt next to where she sat on a fallen log that had obviously been drawn into the clearing to be used as a bench. “Are you all right? Can I get you anything?” he asked, keeping his voice low and gentle, and wondering why it sounded shaky. But the old draegan woman had slipped back into her vegetative state and stared into the flames and beyond, without acknowledging his presence in any way. He got the sense she didn’t even know he existed. Suddenly unable to breathe and needing some space, he turned away from the gathered group around the fire and stalked toward the dark woods. Smoke still rose from over the top of the next knoll…the result of Keiran’s handiwork. The forest floor was too damp for his flames to have caused any widespread damage. Another smaller plume rose from the charred huts behind him that the soldiers had managed to destroy. Though the day had begun sunny, gray clouds had followed, scudding across the sky, so only occasional peeks of the sun shone through now. A chill, humid bite hung in the air, 222


promising moisture before the day was out. Gaige dragged in several deep breaths, letting the cold air fill his lungs. “I brought you some hot wine.” A moment of anger swirled through him at having his small moment of solitude interrupted, but he pushed it away, feeling like an ass for being so ungrateful, and turned to find the healer, the young woman called Lilia, wrapped in a heavy brown wool cloak, holding out a wooden cup from which steam rose. He took the cup from her. “Thank you.” “You’re welcome. Can I get you anything else?” “You didn’t have to get me this.” She shrugged and a faint smile curved her pale pink lips. “You seemed deep in thought. I almost didn’t disturb you, but it’s cold and you left the fire, so I figured you needed something to warm you against the chill. I’ll leave you in peace now.” She started to turn away. “Wait,” Gaige said. “May I ask you some questions?” She turned back to face him. “Does it involve trying to convince me and the others to leave here and travel back to your camp with you? Because if so, the draegan lord has already exhausted the subject.” “No, it’s not that. Though I agree with him. It would be much safer for you all to come with us.” “Perhaps. Perhaps not. But it’s Thomas who’ll have to be convinced.” Another smile creased her face, this time reaching her sparkling brown eyes. 223


“Why Thomas?” Gaige asked, curious now. “Is he the leader of your group?” “We don’t really have a designated leader. We all live and work in harmony. No, it’s his books and papers he’ll not want to be parted from.” “Books and papers?” “He used to be a teacher, in the village school, and he’s a historian and a linguist as well. Lucky for him his hut wasn’t one of the ones burned today. He has more books and journals filled with page after page of notes and writings than he could carry on a journey the distance of your camp. And he won’t leave any behind either. Books, writings, languages…they all fascinate him. So much so that sometimes I fear he’d rather let his texts swallow him whole than have to deal with real life.” She said it with such a resigned yet patient tone, it didn’t take much for Gaige to put the pieces together. “And you wish he would pay a bit more attention to real life and a certain woman who cares for him?” he asked, a smile teasing at his mouth. Her response was good-natured. “Ah, if only. But I’m afraid he’s oblivious. Perhaps if I inked words across my breasts and waved them in his face he might take notice, but I fear he’d not pay attention to anything but the letters themselves, and the canvas on which they were written wouldn’t be enough to make him rise to the occasion.” That brought a chuckle from Gaige. He liked this woman. But then he sobered. “Don’t give up on him. Sometimes people are blind, but then one day they wake up and realize 224


their lives aren’t what they thought, and they discover the path to real happiness is in their hearts if only they dare to follow them.” “Spoken like a man who’s found enlightenment,” she said softly. “You could say that.” “Well, you give me hope then. What is it you wanted to ask me?” “The old woman…what’s her story? Do you know it?” Lilia sighed. “Some of it.” She sank onto a lichen-covered boulder and tucked her chapped, red hands beneath her cloak. “She lived in the village for several years before I was born. I’m not sure where she came from or why she was there, just that she was. My mum was the village healer and knew her well. She always said Sele was a lovely woman.” “Did your mother realize she was a draegan?” “Yes. I’m not sure how she knew—if Sele told her or if she merely guessed—but she did, and they were quite friendly. I don’t think anyone else in the village was aware of it, though. Then, a few years before I was born, Sele had some kind of tragedy happen. I don’t know if my mum was even certain what it was…she just said Sele broke down and cried for days on end, and then, when she stopped, she was no longer the same woman she had been. She didn’t speak, could barely care for herself, and it seemed as if she’d aged years and years in just a few weeks time. Mum brought her to live with her and Dad. After I was born, some of my first memories were of Sele sitting in a chair by the fire.” 225


“And now you take care of her?” Lilia nodded. “Dad died when I was just a baby—attacked by wolves on a hunting trip deep in the mountains. So for a long time it was Mum, Sele and me. We were out picking herbs when the attack on the village happened four years ago. Normally Sele would have stayed home, but it was a beautiful spring day and Mum convinced her to come with us. When we returned, it was all over and there were just a handful of survivors. We traveled with them here. My mum passed on three years ago from a faulty heart, so it’s just been me and Sele ever since.” “I’m sorry about your mother.” “Thank you. I miss her still. But I like to think she taught me well and I can continue on in her footsteps.” “So Sele never talks?” “She hasn’t said a word since she was taken by the mindsickness. My mother always called it that—mind-sickness— but in truth it’s always seemed more like heart-sickness to me. As if her heart were broken and she just couldn’t go on. She has lucid moments every now and then, where it looks and feels as if she understands what’s happening around her. But for the most part, she doesn’t seem to be aware of much. I just try to keep her warm and safe and comfortable. Why do you ask of her?” Gaige debated how much to tell Lilia, but decided he trusted her with the truth. “We captured one of the soldiers, the one they’d sent out as a scout, and he said the detachment was coming here on purpose, looking for someone in 226


particular. We assumed it was a draegan. And Sele is the only draegan in the camp.” Lilia’s delicate dark brows drew together. “What would they want with an old woman?” “I don’t know. And we don’t even know for sure it was her. We guessed their target was a draegan, but it could have been someone else. Is there anyone else in your group who’s traveled recently? Maybe who’s seen something or knows something the high sorcerer wouldn’t like?” “None of us have gone anywhere in months except Caleb.” “Caleb? Is he here? Have we met him?” “No, he left maybe ten days ago to hunt. He gets restless, feels confined here, and needs to stretch his legs and be with nature, he says.” “He leaves often then?” “Yes. He’s gone more than he’s around.” “Do you know him well?” “Not really, no. Strange, isn’t it, that he’s lived here on and off for four years with us, but I don’t spend much time with him? He’s never really been happy here, and I honestly don’t know why he comes back at all. His hut was one of the ones burned, so he’ll have no real reason to return now. Do you think the sorcerer’s troops were looking for him?” Gaige’s mind spun with the information she’d give him. “I don’t know. But I’ll tell you one thing…we tracked the sorcerer’s soldiers here and they knew exactly where they were going, down to the last detail. Someone told them where you were.” 227


“Do you think Caleb told them where to find us?” she asked, her voice breathless. “From what you’ve told me, I think it’s a damned good possibility. And if that’s the case, none of you are safe here any longer, Lilia.” She frowned and looked like she was about to deny it. “You need to believe me,” Gaige said before she could protest. “If Byram knows where you are, when his soldiers don’t return, he’ll send another, bigger detachment out here to discover why, and to find whomever it was they originally sought. If you or Sele or Thomas or any of the others are here, you’ll be killed.” She gazed up at him for several long moment and Gaige found himself wishing he could read her thoughts as he did Keiran’s, so he’d know what was going on in her head. “You seem certain of this,” she finally said. “How do you know what the sorcerer will and won’t do?” Gaige swallowed the lump of bitterness that clogged his throat. “Because I used to be the captain of the men we slew here today.” Her already pale features blanched. “The White Panther,” she whispered. “I should have known…your coloring. But…” She studied him more closely. “But you’re nothing like the stories I’ve heard. I didn’t put it together because the captain of the sorcerer’s High Guard would never have fought alongside draegans. Would never have shown an old woman kindness, or cared whether or not any of us stayed safe.” “There was a time I wouldn’t have,” he admitted, his voice 228


low and hoarse. Her expression softened. “The change you spoke of earlier. You really have had an enlightenment, haven’t you? What could have cause such a turnaround?” “Not a what. A who.” She lifted an eyebrow. “Keiran Hareldson.” “The draegan lord,” she said softly. Then a faint huff of breath escaped her. “The way the others defer to you, the way the lord looks at you and you him…you’re his mate, aren’t you?” Gaige nodded, suddenly aware of the elorium band around his upper arm. “You trust him with your life?” “I do. I trust him with yours as well.” “And your actions today have proven to me I can trust you.” She rose. “I’ll speak to Thomas right away and then begin packing my and Sele’s things.” She turned and headed back to the collection of huts. Gaige followed, and it was only then he realized he’d never even taken a sip of the now-cold wine. He poured it out as he walked, letting the blood-red liquid splash against the damp forest floor. He found Keiran standing alone, shaking his head and radiating frustration. Gaige fought the urge to bury his hands in his mate’s thick hair, pull him close and kiss him until neither of them could breathe. But this wasn’t the time or place. He settled for resting a hand on Keiran’s shoulder. 229


Keiran’s hand rose to cover it and gave it a squeeze. “We need to get out of here soon,” Gaige said. “Where are the others?” “I’ve sent Eliessán and Solanis to do a wide sweep of the area to be sure Byram has no other surprises waiting nearby. They’ll catch up to us later this evening. Marta and her boys and Tim are relieving the dead of their weapons and anything else of importance we might need.” Gaige nodded. “You okay?” he asked, already reading the answer in Keiran’s thoughts and emotions. “No. Between Marta’s boys, Tim and Solanis bowing their heads every time I speak to them and saying ‘as you wish’ and calling me ‘lord,’ and that insufferable human Thomas and his impertinent attitude, I feel the urge to wring someone’s neck. Can you believe the man launched into a lecture about all his years of research and how he knows so damned much about history I couldn’t possibly know something he doesn’t? He talked down to me like I’m a child when I was already an old man by human standards before he was even a glimmer in his mother’s eye!” Keiran’s voice was so fractious, it was all Gaige could do to suppress a chuckle. “As far as the draegans, what did you expect them do, Keiran? To them you’re a phoenix rising out of the ashes, giving them hope and allowing them to believe again. You are a lord and of course they’re going to treat you accordingly.” “I’m still the same person,” he grumbled. “‘Hareldson’ was fine for them to call me for years. Why should that have 230


to change?” “Then tell them they can still use that name. But don’t be surprised if they don’t listen. I suspect there’s an inbred respect for draegan lords, and thousands of years of collective consciousness might overrule your personal wishes.” “Well, there’s still the matter of that man.” Gaige grinned. “Did the human academic step on the great draegan lord’s toes? How dare he?” Keiran gave him a dirty look that promised retribution later. “And where were you while I was dealing with the stubborn pain in my ass who refuses to leave and so the others refuse as well because ‘if Thomas stays, then it must be safe and we’ll stay, too’?” “If you’d tamped down your irritation long enough to connect with me, you would have known,” Gaige teased. But then he grew serious. “I was talking to Lilia. She gave me a wealth of information.” He felt Keiran’s irritation slip away. “Tell me.” Gaige did, ending with his speculation that the man Caleb could very well be Byram’s spy. “The question remains, though…who was Byram after here?” Keiran pondered. “I don’t know. I can’t fathom why Byram would be interested in an old woman draegan who hasn’t spoken a word in twenty-five or thirty years. No one else in the group has left the camp in months. The only one unaccounted for is this Caleb. It’s possible Byram was after him. Maybe the man discovered something about Byram the sorcerer didn’t want 231


him to know. Or maybe he outlived his usefulness as a spy.” “But why send twenty High Guard soldiers after him? For that matter, why send twenty soldiers after anyone here? It just doesn’t make sense. These people are no threat. Even if they had some kind of knowledge Byram didn’t want them to have, they’re peaceful and have limited fighting skills…a handful of men could have taken them if necessary.” He kept his voice low, and Gaige knew Keiran didn’t want the humans to overhear him. They had brave hearts, all of them, but Gaige agreed…if he and Keiran and the others hadn’t shown up when they did, the settlement would have been burned to the ground and everyone in it killed in short order. “We’ve got to get these people out of here,” Keiran said, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Gods know how, though, short of tying them up and dragging them with us by their hair.” “Oh, I don’t know about that. By the time Lilia and I finished our chat, we were seeing eye to eye on the topic of evacuating the camp.” Gaige nudged Keiran’s arm and nodded toward the settlement. Lilia had just emerged from one of the huts carrying a pack, with Sele in tow, wrapped in a cloak and blankets. The woman Sarah and her son followed, as did the elderly couple. Keiran turned to look at Gaige, his expression grateful, his eyes shimmering silver. “I really love you.” A smile quirked at Gaige’s lips. “I know.” Finally, as the first fat flakes of snow began to fall, Thomas appeared in the doorway of his hut, his gaunt form 232


staggering under the weight of his pack and another huge woven bag that dragged the ground, a sheepish expression his face. Whatever Lilia had said to him, Gaige gave her a silent cheer because it had worked. “Wen, Jarrad, Tim, don’t just stand there. Go help the man,” Marta directed. The young draegans, and even the human teenager, Wesley, who joined them almost shyly like he hadn’t been around anyone else young in a long time, dove into Thomas’s pack and the bag and shared numerous heavy volumes amongst themselves, placing them in their own packs. “Thank you,” Thomas said. “Just, please be very, very careful with them. Priceless tomes. Years of research. Years.” Keiran grumbled something unintelligible in the back of his throat. Gaige smiled. But it quickly faded as a dark sense of foreboding flooded through him. His head gave a sudden throb, and he caught his breath, wondering if the pain was about to return full-force. It didn’t. But he was left with a burning need to be out of here and back at their own camp as soon as possible. As the snow fell harder and faster, and the wind picked up, he had a strong sense it wasn’t the only storm about to hit. *

*

*

They arrived back in camp a week later, on a night after the sun had set and the moons had risen in the cold, indigo sky. 233


The storm that had begun as they left the settlement had forced them to stop and seek shelter until the following morning, then two days after that, another had hit, shorter in duration and less intense, but it had slowed them further. Winter, it seemed, had decided to settle in early this year. Gaige’s relief was profound when they found the magick barrier around the camp still up and holding. The nagging sense that something awful was about to happen had clung to him throughout the entire journey. And though he hadn’t yet mentioned it to Keiran, and they’d been so busy and exhausted Keiran hadn’t delved deep enough into Gaige’s mind to see it himself, he’d had troubling dreams during the few hours he’d slept as they traveled. One in particular bothered him to the point of distraction…because it had been about Keiran. Keiran, climbing a long, steep path in the dark, his face pale, his every step an agony, with shadow and fire all around, and death on his heels. Gaige had run it through his mind over and over and couldn’t pinpoint why the dream had left him with that specific impression. But though he couldn’t explain it, he felt it in every cell of his being. Something evil hunted Keiran. Once they got their newest inhabitants settled for the night, Gaige and Keiran took a quick, utilitarian bath in the community hot springs—deserted this late—then made their way to their tent, started a fire, and crawled into bed. Gaige was so tired he could barely keep his eyes open, but as the heat of Keiran’s body pressed against him and his mate’s arms slid around his waist, an urgent need to fuse with 234


Keiran swept through him, driving everything from his mind. ::I need you.:: He slipped a hand between them to fondle Keiran’s already erect cock. ::I need you, too. It’s been too damned long since I’ve been able to hold you, touch you.:: Keiran’s voice was a heated growl in Gaige’s head. They’d been in close proximity for days, but with so many others around, it had been impossible to be alone. And at night, one or the other of them had always been on watch, so they hadn’t been able to even lie near each other. Their mouths met with a hunger that wouldn’t be denied, tasting, licking, biting in eagerness. For Gaige, it felt as if he needed to consume as much of Keiran as possible in order to reassure himself Keiran was alive and well. The dream haunted him and, even now, though he could force the vision itself into a corner of his mind and lock the door, he couldn’t dispense with the lingering fear and hollow ache left behind. Keiran rolled Gaige to his back and slid between his legs as his warm lips traveled down Gaige’s throat. Gaige burrowed his hands into Keiran’s still-damp, sweetsmelling hair and closed his eyes, letting the heat of his mate’s body both soothe and arouse him. Keiran’s questing mouth moved lower, licking and sucking at his nipples until they ached, then trailed over his chest, his sides, down his abdomen to his groin in slow motion, as if he didn’t want to miss a spot of skin. But when his breath tickled between Gaige’s legs, and his tongue flicked out and over Gaige’s balls, Gaige couldn’t lie 235


still. His toes curled and he spread his legs wider in invitation. Keiran took his time, kissing and nibbling the insides of Gaige’s thighs, all the way to his knees, then back up again, giving him occasional teases of moisture over his balls, but ignoring his stiff cock completely. Gaige panted in aroused frustration. “Damn it, Keiran…suck me already.” His mate’s soft laughter feathered over his sensitive skin, sending another jolt of lust through him. Keiran sucked him…but not his prick. Instead he drew one of Gaige’s testicles into the oven of his mouth and pulled on it gently until Gaige writhed in pleasure. He gave the other equal attention, then tugged them both into his mouth, leaving Gaige to clutch at the blankets with abandon. Gaige’s moans filled the small room of the tent. His cock was so hard it hurt, and he felt a dribble of cum slide over the crown. When Keiran released his balls with a soft, damp pop, and finally, finally licked over his cockhead, a tingling pulse surged up his shaft, and Gaige had to grit his teeth to keep from losing it right then. “Come here and turn around.” He pulled Keiran’s head up and off him. “I want you, too.” A low, carnal growl of approval rippled from Keiran. He crawled up on the bed and gave Gaige a deep, lingering kiss, allowing him to taste his own flavor on Keiran’s tongue. Then he turned and straddled Gaige, with a knee on either side of his head and his hands next to Gaige’s hips. His soapy-clean aroused scent swirled around Gaige, and 236


he wasted no time in capturing his lover’s thick, full root. Keiran’s cock leaked its excitement, too, and Gaige savored the taste, the tangy, salty essence that was all Keiran’s. All his. Holding Keiran’s shaft at the base, he guided it into his mouth, closed his lips around the man’s generous cockhead, and sucked. Keiran bucked against him, then his hot mouth enclosed Gaige’s cock, sending flares of lightning through Gaige. ::Damn, this is good,:: Gaige said, his telepathic voice sounding more like a moan of raw pleasure than actual words. When Keiran groaned his agreement, the vibration shot through Gaige’s shaft. Wanting, needing to taste more, Gaige let his lover’s erection slip from his mouth. He spread Keiran’s ass open, giving him access to his core. As Keiran laved and suckled his cock, Gaige lifted his head and drove his tongue into Keiran’s clenching hole. Keiran shuddered at the first contact, and then again each time Gaige speared and swirled his tongue into the hot depths. His whimpered moans radiated into Gaige’s genitals, which only made Gaige crazier, and encouraged him to fuck Keiran more thoroughly, until both of them were wound tight in a repeating loop of sensual torment. With a suddenness that left Gaige panting, Keiran released him. But before he could protest, Keiran spread Gaige’s legs wider and delved with breath-stealing zeal into his ass with his mouth as well. ::Oh gods… oh, my fucking gods, Keiran.:: 237


They rocked together, their moans and heavy breathing merging with the erotic scents of male musk and thick desire. Keiran pulled away suddenly. “I can’t take anymore,” he gasped. “I have to be inside you.” Gaige pulled his knees up and back as Keiran moved between them. The thick tip of his cock probed Gaige’s slippery entrance, stretching him wide. “Do it,” Gaige begged. With a quick thrust, Keiran filled him. They both groaned, and Gaige planted his hands on Keiran’s ass, to hold him there, buried deep, throbbing at his core. “You feel so good,” Keiran moaned. “I’ll never be able to get enough of you, Gaige. I need you so damned much. Love you so damned much.” Keiran surged into motion, pumping into Gaige with slow, long, steady strokes that left him shaking, then shifting to short, fast, hard ones that felt like they might split Gaige apart from the pleasure/pain, then back to long and slow, then hard and fast again. He was relentless, taking Gaige from one high to the next, building his need with masterful domination, but never letting him go over the edge, always backing off just as Gaige reached for his dripping cock to find release. Gaige’s ass ached from the rigorous onslaught, and he wouldn’t have had it any other way. With each pound of Keiran’s prick into him it was like a voice reverberating deep within him saying mine, mine, mine, only mine! Keiran drove into him and stayed. Then, burrowing a hand 238


beneath Gaige’s backside and holding him close, he rolled them both over until he lay on his back and Gaige sat astride him, still impaled on Keiran’s length. “Ride me,” Keiran rasped. Gaige didn’t waste any time taking the reins of control. As he rode Keiran hard, savoring the burn and stretch and throb of his lover’s pole in his ass, Keiran slicked his hands with saliva and grasped Gaige’s long-suffering cock. He pulled and stretched the skin, sliding it up and down, swirling it around the base of Gaige’s crown, then pushing it back to the base. The motion felt so good, Gaige knew he wouldn’t last long if Keiran kept it up. Keiran didn’t sound like he was going to last much longer either. “Yeah…just like that,” Keiran said, his voice little more than a husky moan. “Yeah…oh, fuck…” On each of Gaige’s down strokes, Keiran thrust upward. Their flesh connected with damp slaps, each one driving them both closer to release. And then Keiran was ramming up into him and convulsing. Gaige felt Keiran’s hot seed flooding his passage, felt everywhere it touched inside him. He’d never experienced anything like it with other lovers. Something about the draegan’s semen caused Gaige’s insides to pulse and tingle each time Keiran ejaculated inside him, and it always caused a rush of energy to swell in him as well…a rush not related to the more intense mated-joining they’d shared. This was each and every time they made love and Keiran came inside him. Gaige suspected it was something to do with Keiran’s seed 239


being laced with draegan magick. Those thoughts were swept away as his own release built with an aching tension. Keiran’s hand worked him with clever skill, and as the first blast rushed up and out of his cock, Keiran sat up partway and leaned close, his mouth open to catch Gaige’s offering. It was the fucking sexiest thing Gaige had ever seen, and as the first stream of cum landed on Keiran’s extended tongue and dripped over the edge, Gaige’s chest squeezed with such emotional intensity he couldn’t breathe. Keiran caught it all, more or less, and when he’d squeezed the last drops out of Gaige, he rolled Gaige over yet again, slid from his ass, and leaned down to lick up everything he’d missed. Spent, exhausted, they cradled together on their sides, arms and legs entwined. “I know about the dreams,” Keiran said softly. Gaige’s heart rose to his throat, choking him. He didn’t have to ask how. Keiran tipped his chin up and kissed him. “I’m not going anywhere, m’aerlas. Nothing’s going to happen to me. We’re going to put an end to Byram and then we’re going to grow old together.” Moisture stung Gaige’s eyes. He wanted to demand a promise from Keiran, but knew no one could promise such a thing. Instead, he nodded, then buried his face in Keiran’s neck, letting the slow, steady beat of his pulse soothe his troubled heart. 240


CHAPTER 13

“Lilia said Thomas is a historian and a linguist,” Gaige said as they dressed the next morning. “And you saw how obsessive he is about his books. He may be just who we need to figure out what in hel Byram’s grimoire is all about.” “I don’t know if I trust him,” Keiran muttered. “How do we know he’s not Byram’s spy?” “We don’t. But for that matter, we don’t know for sure anyone here in camp isn’t a spy. And Lilia said none of them, including Thomas, had been away from the settlement for a long time…except for the mysterious missing Caleb. In my gut, I don’t think Thomas is the bad guy.” Keiran dragged his hands through his hair, gathering it 241


together against the nape of his neck, then tied it with a piece of leather. He sighed. “I don’t think he’s the spy either. But he grates my nerves.” “I know. But if he’s as smart as he thinks he is, he might be able to help. Gods know we haven’t made any progress with the grimoire. It’s worth letting him have a look.” Keiran sank onto the edge of the bed and pulled on his boots. “If we do, we’re swearing him to secrecy and he’s not taking the book out of this tent. As much as I don’t love the idea of having him underfoot, he’d have to work here.” “I agree.” “And,” Keiran added, “he’s not being left alone here with it either. Someone’s going to have to keep an eye on him.” “To which member of the draeganjhere are you going to give that exhilarating job?” Gaige asked with a grin. “Whoever it is, they’re going to love you.” “Just for that, I ought to assign it to you,” Keiran said, swatting him on the ass as he passed by into the main room of the tent. Gaige followed. “Sorry…you’ve already given me a job, remember? The task of training farmers and hunters to be soldiers. Which starts today.” He pulled Keiran into a kiss, notching their groins together. “You’ll have to find another lackey to babysit Thomas.” “Keep rubbing me like that and I might have to give you another job all together…one that involves spending copious amounts of time in bed with your legs spread,” Keiran growled, flicking his tongue into Gaige’s ear. 242


“I thought I already had that job, too,” Gaige teased. “Along with the one where I suck your cock and—” Keiran silenced him with another kiss, this one deeper and laced not only with the voracious desire that was omnipresent between them, but with so much love it made Gaige’s knees weak. The sound of a throat clearing, and then a humorous female voice saying, “Good morning,” brought them apart…but not in a rush, as Keiran grazed his lips over Gaige’s one last time. They gave each other mutual smiles of contentment and a silent promise they’d pick up later where they’d left off. “’Morning,” they both said to Marta, turning toward her. “So did I miss anything?” Then she grinned. “Aside from the obvious.” “I was just convincing Keiran that Thomas may be able to help with Byram’s grimoire.” “I’ve been thinking the same thing,” Marta said, her sandy brows drawing together. “Go ahead and gang up on me, the two of you. Okay, fine, he can look at the book. But he’s not taking it from this tent,” Keiran reiterated. “Keiran was just deciding who was going to play Thomas’s keeper while he’s here.” “I’d volunteer one of my boys, but they’re going to be training with Gaige,” Marta said. “That’s all right. I’ll get Eliessán to do it.” Marta nodded. 243


But Gaige asked, “Isn’t it a little under her skill level, being the elf warrior and all?” “Not necessarily. Thomas won’t go anywhere without her stuck to him.” “You mean to have him followed even when he’s not working here?” “Even if I don’t ask Eliessán to stay with him beyond when he’s here at the tent, she will anyway. If something should happen to him, or if he should cause trouble when she’s not watching him, she would see it as her personal failure and a betrayal of her bond with me.” Curiosity burned in Gaige about the elf, and more so about the elf and Keiran and this bond to which he referred. “Her bond with you?” It was Marta who answered. “Keiran saved her life many years ago, and elves are spiritually bound by life debts. It’s part of their culture and taken very seriously. When Keiran saved her, she committed her life to serving him however he might need her.” “That sounds as if would be easy for people to take advantage of them in their own world, forcing them to be slaves, or worse.” “From what Eliessán’s told me, that’s exactly what happens sometimes,” Keiran said. “I tried to tell her she had no debt to me, that I didn’t need or want her to bind herself to me. I spent months trying to convince her of that, in fact.” He sighed. “But telling an elf you refuse to honor their life debt is like trying to move a mountain of solid rock with bare hands. 244


And you can’t ignore them and not give them jobs either. I tried that, too. All that did was cause her to shadow my every move as she took on the role of my personal protector. ” “For how long are they bound?” “Forever,” Marta said. “You mean until the one they’ve sworn the life debt to dies?” “No. Her allegiance doesn’t end with me,” Keiran said. “Now that you and I are true-mated, she’ll protect and serve you as well. If something should happen to me, you’ll hold the contract with her.” “And if you two should have any progeny, it will extend to them, and so forth, throughout time,” Marta added, crouching next to the fire and busying herself with making tea. All interest in elves and life debts fled at Marta’s casual mention of progeny. The thought of children rattled Gaige. He’d never considered the possibility. But Keiran was the last of the draegan lords. It stood to reason he’d eventually want to have a child or children to carry on the line. Which meant… A sharp pang of anguish speared through his heart. It meant Keiran would eventually have to lie with a woman in order to impregnate her. And then she’d always be the mother of his child or children, would always be present, and would always have a part of Keiran he himself could not. The thought of having to share Keiran in such a way hurt to the depths of his being. Gaige knew he’d do what he had to, of course, and if that meant sharing Keiran he would. But he 245


was certain it’d be the hardest thing he’d ever do. ::You’re thinking as a human, love,:: Keiran said gently. His arms slid around Gaige’s waist from behind, and he pressed a kiss to his neck. ::What do you mean?:: Embarrassment crept through him that Keiran had read his thoughts. ::Like the humans of Velensperia, our race has always been bisexual…with some individuals attracted to members of the same sex, some to members of the opposite sex, and some to both. But unlike the humans, who are not as advanced a species, and only a man and a woman together are able to procreate, draegans are put together differently. In order to keep the race viable and able to survive, our bodies are made to accommodate same-sex pairings.:: Gaige turned in his arms and stared at him. ::Meaning what?:: Keiran’s smile melted something he hadn’t even realized had frozen at his core. ::Meaning should we choose to, you and I can have children…no sharing involved.:: “How is that possible?” he breathed, his heart racing. “If you mean the technical details of it, I’ll be glad to explain.” His eyes sparkled, then he nodded toward Marta, who had her back to them. ::But not here. There are some intimate bits I’d rather describe and demonstrate without an audience.:: Gaige continued to stare, stunned. He and Keiran could have children together? Without a female surrogate? 246


“You really didn’t know, did you?” “No idea.” “And this knowledge pleases you?” “I…I hadn’t ever thought of it before until today, but…yeah,” he said, his voice sounding breathless. The heat of a flush crept up his cheeks, and he gave Keiran a sheepish grin. “It pleases me.” The scorching kiss Keiran gave him, followed by a heated grin of his own, said in no uncertain terms it pleased Keiran, too. ::I’ll tell you everything,:: Keiran promised. Realizing he needed to get his mind back on his job, Gaige nodded. “I’m going to hold you to that. But right now I need to get to work. And, much as I know it doesn’t thrill you, you need to deal with our friend Thomas.” Keiran groaned softly. “Thanks so much for reminding me.” “Who knows,” Gaige said, brushing his lips in a quick kiss over Keiran’s. “He may end up saving us all. Just don’t let Eliessán slit his throat.” Keiran’s smile followed him out the door of the tent. *

*

*

The first day of training with the draeganjhere and civilians of the camp went better than Gaige had expected. He and Wen had gathered as many spare weapons as they could find in camp, and had also laid out the weapons they’d scavenged off Byram’s High Guard soldiers at the settlement and had hauled back here. It had made for a decent assortment 247


and assured that everyone who trained had at least one weapon to carry. More people had shown up than he’d thought would. All in all he’d had fifty trainees. He’d put no limitations on who could participate. The way he saw it, everyone deserved a chance to know how to defend themselves and their families. His “recruits” consisted of a dozen members of the existing draeganjhere currently in camp and not at watch, minus Marta and Iann, who were working with Keiran today. The rest who’d taken part in the training were an assortment of draegans and humans, men and women, and several teenagers—some with decent weapons experience, some with none at all. The woman Sarah from the settlement and her son Wesley were there, and Wesley already seemed to be in thick with Marta’s younger boys, teasing and jostling each other for the best positions and partners. No one questioned Gaige’s authority as he’d feared— though he suspected those who were uncomfortable with him because of his parentage probably just hadn’t shown up at all. His only discomfort—and he began to better understand Keiran’s point of view because of it—was when many of the people called him ‘lord.’ Word about Keiran’s heritage had spread fast, and most already knew Gaige was Keiran’s true mate. But where Keiran was the draegan lord and deserving of the title, Gaige couldn’t fathom why anyone would call him the same. He told them as a group that they should call him Captain Rizik. It felt odd to take the old title that had so long been a part 248


of his life working for Byram, but Keiran had given him the same rank here, placing him above his long-time friends and lieutenants. Gaige couldn’t disrespect Keiran by refusing, so he’d accepted the rank and decided this was an opportunity for him to use the command skills he’d learned working for the sorcerer, but refine them to his own standards. The new and improved, half-draegan Captain Rizik, who no longer had to impress a father who’d hated him and a sorcerer who coveted him. Here he had no one to impress but himself and Keiran. And that gave him an unparalleled sense of satisfaction. He’d claimed a large clearing between the camp and the magick shield for the training. Using Wen as his assistant because the young draegan had excellent weapons skills and a friendly grin and personality Gaige thought would help reassure those trainees with no experience, he put the fifty under his command through their paces. He worked them hard, but fairly. The whole point of what he was doing was to develop fighters to defend the camp, and though he wanted the people to be comfortable with him, Wen, and the training itself, it was important they all realized what they were doing was deadly serious work. The skills they learned today and over the next several weeks could very well save their lives and those of the people they loved, and he told them as much. The best of the civilians would become members of the draeganjhere—he already had his eye on several who showed promise—but even those who didn’t still would be called upon to defend the camp if it came under attack. By the time he sent his new “soldiers” home late in the 249


afternoon, Gaige’s shoulders and arms ached in a way they hadn’t in a long time. It had been almost two months since he’d left the rigors of the High Guard to find the draegans, and though he’d certainly had plenty of opportunities to fight since then, he was out of shape from not doing daily drills. Tired though he was, he felt like he’d been more useful today than he had in a long while. He and Wen gathered the training equipment and stored it in a supply tent at the edge of the camp, then he sent Wen home to eat and sleep, since the draegan had to work a sentry shift at midnight. Gaige was working one himself at sunset because they were shorthanded with several members of the draeganjhere out scouting and watching the roads to track Byram’s troop activity. He had a bit of time before he took his shift and was torn between going back to the tent to see Keiran or checking on Lilia and Sele. He wondered how they and the older couple, Agathe and Jacob, were faring in their new environment. His physical need to see and touch Keiran was so acute it almost hurt. But with Thomas and Eliessán probably still at the tent, and Keiran himself possibly not even there anyway, but out and about with Marta or Iann, he wasn’t guaranteed he’d get to see his mate, or be alone with him if he were. With a sigh, he decided to check in on the newcomers, and look forward to crawling into bed with Keiran late tonight when his shift was over. At least then he’d have his mate to himself. 250


As he headed for the southern edge of the camp where the newest members of the camp had found shelter, not for the first time, he found his thoughts drifting back to Keiran’s revelation this morning. It had hung with him all day, never quite leaving his mind, even as he’d been busy doing other things. Something oddly hopeful fluttered in the pit of his stomach each time he thought of the possibility of having children with Keiran. The concept was so foreign to his human upbringing that he couldn’t wait to get the details from Keiran about how it was possible. He’d never expected he’d want children, even when he thought he was human. His own father had hardly been a role model or made him desire to become a parent himself. But now that he’d been told the possibility existed with Keiran, he realized he wanted it with desperation. The idea of someday, when Velensperia was a better, kinder land, bringing a new life into the world that he and Keiran had created together was so overwhelmingly spectacular, he couldn’t think of it without smiling. He found Lilia stirring a large pot over an outdoor fire pit and talking with a youngish draegan woman. The draegan woman’s eyes widened when she saw him. Gaige’s first and natural instinct was that he scared her—the infamous White Panther would haunt him forever, he was afraid. But to his surprise, she gave him a shy smile, then bowed her head respectfully and murmured, “M’lord.” Before he could wrap his mind around her reaction, much less respond, she scurried away with a wave to Lilia. 251


“I’m sorry,” Gaige said, watching the woman’s long red braid swing behind her as she ducked between two tents and disappeared. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.” When he turned back to Lilia, she was smiling. “It’s all right. We were just chatting. Though I think perhaps Eithna is a bit taken by you, and having you suddenly appear flustered her.” “Eithna?” “The woman who just left.” “Ah.” Then what she’d said sank in. “Taken by me?” Lilia laughed and it was soft, lyrical sound. “Just because your heart is already committed and you see none other than your beloved, doesn’t mean others don’t see you. In case you haven’t noticed, you’re an exceptionally beautiful man. I’d wager more than a few women and men in this camp picture you during their secret fantasies.” “Oh, gods! I don’t want to hear this.” Her laughter rolled over him again. “Captain Rizik, you’re such a contradiction at times. Which is one of the reasons I like you.” “Please, call me Gaige. And I’m not sure being a contradiction is a compliment, so I’m just going to ignore that. What are you brewing here?” he asked, sniffing the pungent aroma. “It’s an herbal tea to help prevent respiratory infections. With winter moving in early this year, it’ll help keep everyone healthy. Marta told me she and the draegan lord and a couple of others know something of herbs and remedies, but there’s 252


no full-time healer in the camp. I figured if I’m going to be part of this group, then I should make myself useful.” “I think the camp is lucky to have you,” Gaige said with a smile. “How’s Sele holding up after the journey. Is she settling in here?” “She’s doing better than I would have expected,” Lilia said. She laid aside the large wooden spoon she’d been using to stir, and straightened. “Would you like to come in and see her? She’s been in a mellow mood today. She might be receptive to a friendly face.” She led the way into a small but comfortably laid-out tent. “We’re sharing the tent with Agathe and Jacob for now, but they’ll be getting their own in a few days. They’ve gone for a walk. If I’m going to work as the healer, I’ll eventually need something larger than this, though, so I’ll have room to see patients.” “I’ll see that you get what you need,” Gaige promised, not certain how things like this worked in the camp, but knowing if he had to steal or sew the tent cloth himself, he’d make sure Lilia and the old woman were cared for properly—though he was sure it wouldn’t come to that; Keiran was nothing if not a caring leader. Gaige wasn’t certain why he felt such a strong compulsion to look out for them in particular. Maybe it was because he genuinely liked Lilia, and found her funny, warm, open, easy to talk to. Or because something about the silent old woman tugged at his heart. Or perhaps it was the reality that he’d had very few friends in his life. Until he’d moved into this camp, he’d had none. 253


“Thank you. I appreciate it,” Lilia said. Sele sat in much the same position Gaige had always seen her in, whether at the settlement or during their travels—next to the fire, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, lost in some other world as she stared into the snapping orange flames. “Sele…” Lilia crouched next to her and took the old woman’s thin hand between her own. “Captain Rizik— Gaige—has come to say hello to you.” The old woman’s head turned and she looked up at him, as if she’d understood every word Lilia had said. Gaige’s breath caught when her rheumy eyes settled on him. “She remembers you from the journey here,” Lilia said. He sat next to Sele on the bench. “If you don’t mind, I need to go stir my tea and get it off the heat,” Lilia said. “That’s fine,” he mumbled, still caught in the old woman’s stare. “I wanted to be sure you’re warm and comfortable here,” he said to the woman, keeping his voice low so as not to startle or upset her. “I know Lilia takes good care of you, but since this is a new place…” He wasn’t quite sure what else to say. Her watching him was a little eerie. Almost as if she’d read that thought—though he knew she hadn’t—she turned away and resumed her fire watching. Lilia returned and handed him a plate of hot meat and 254


bread. “You’ve been training the others all day and I suspect you haven’t made time to eat.” In truth, he hadn’t. His stomach rumbled in appreciation. But he didn’t want to take someone else’s portion of what he knew was oftentimes limited food. “I—” “Don’t argue. There’s plenty. Solanis went hunting. He generously shared with us, but it’s more than we can use.” “What about you two?” “We’ve eaten already.” Solanis was an adept hunter—he’d kept them fed on the journey back to the camp—so Gaige couldn’t doubt Lilia. Without further arguing, he thanked her and dug into the food. They chatted as he ate…mostly about the camp, its size, the number of people who lived in it, and then about the weather. Lilia mentioned that she hadn’t seen Thomas all day and thought he was helping the draegan lord in some fashion. Gaige stayed silent on the topic and just nodded…hoping as he did that Keiran and Thomas hadn’t killed one another today. He grimaced and wondered if maybe he should have gone back to their tent to check up on them. As he and Lilia talked, more than once Gaige got the impression the old woman was watching him. But each time he’d look at her, her gaze was focused on the fire as always. Strange. The sun sank low on the horizon and the tent darkened. Gaige thanked Lilia again for feeding him dinner and said goodbye to both of them, with a promise he’d stop by and check on them soon. 255


As he pushed aside the tent flap and ducked to exit, pain knifed through his skull, causing his steps to falter. He paused, trying to breathe through it, hoping it would pass. But the agony built, shredding his thoughts, blinding him. “Gaige?” He felt Lilia’s hand on his arm, but couldn’t make his gaze focus on her in spite of the fact she stood next to him. Sudden flashes of images shot through him, forcing his eyes closed, each one a new stab of torment…scenes from previous dreams, fire, Kellesborne in dust, people suffering, and Keiran climbing the long, dark path with evil stalking him. And then the voice filled his head, screaming in terror… ::It’s coming!:: ::What?:: he gasped. ::What’s coming?:: ::Death.:: As if they’d never existed, the images in his mind flickered out of existence, the world around him returned, and the sharp spikes of pain in his head eased to a sick, dull thud. He opened his eyes and dragged in air, but in spite of the warmth from the tent’s fire pit and his heavy cloak, he felt cold to the bone. “Are you all right?” Lilia asked, her tone concerned. “Come back and sit down.” “No, I’m…I’m all right,” he said, his voice gritty with the lie. He wasn’t all right. Didn’t know if he ever would be. “At least sit by the fire for a few minutes. Your hands are 256


like ice.” Gaige hadn’t even realized Lilia held his hands. He looked down and saw her small, chapped red palms rubbed his as if to warm them. “I’ll be all right,” he murmured again, still trying to find enough air to fill his lungs. He looked up at her, then glanced over his shoulder at Sele…and froze. She still sat in the same spot, but her eyes were wide with fear and focused on him. Tears slid down her cheeks, unchecked, though she didn’t make a sound. Something shifted inside Gaige, and his chest clenched. ::You?:: he probed tentatively. For long moments she didn’t move. Then her gray head dipped in a jerky nod.

257


CHAPTER 14

Keiran had just returned to the tent from a scouting expedition with Marta and Iann near the eastern border of the camp, where a group of Byram’s soldiers had been spotted earlier in the afternoon, when the breath-stealing wave of distress hit him. “Oh, no.” Three sets of eyes looked up at him—Iann’s, Marta’s, Eliessán’s. Thomas, oblivious, didn’t lift his head from the piles of books and papers spread out around him. “Keiran?” Marta asked, her voice edged with concern. “I have to go.” He grabbed his cloak, so recently discarded, and pulled it on as he moved. 258


“What is it? Do you want us to come with you?” Marta rose from the table, as did Iann. “No. No, stay here. I have to find Gaige.” He left at a run, fear for his mate roiling so hard it made his heart race. ::Where are you?:: he called, searching frantically for Gaige, trying to get a sense of where in—or out—of camp he might be. But all he could latch onto was darkness…and fear. It was happening again. Except this time he wasn’t with Gaige, and the not knowing if his mate was unconscious on the frozen ground, or wracked with agony somewhere left him feeling so damned helpless he wanted to shout. Not knowing where else to start, he made for the clearing Gaige had chosen to use for training exercises. He found it deserted and in shadow as evening settled over the camp. “Damn it all!” Breathing hard, he paused, and tried to calm his throbbing pulse And then he remembered that Gaige was taking a shift as sentry this evening…but at which location? He closed his eyes and concentrated, trying again to find his mate, sorting through the jumbled thoughts and emotions that blurred together in a fog of dark, half-seen images and jagged impressions, until… There! The warm, vibrant core of his mate burned within the confusion. Gaige’s inner light was dim, only a flicker, but it was enough. Keiran turned and ran along the outskirts of the camp, not wanting to risk being stopped by anyone or anything, to the southern border. He made a doorway in the shield and crossed 259


into the unprotected woods. As he passed through a copse of small, shrubby young pines, his sensitive draegan hearing picked up the faint vibrating twang of a bowstring being pulled back. ::It’s me, love. It’s okay…:: He held his hands out at his sides, knowing Gaige could probably see him, although he couldn’t yet see his mate. But he felt his presence, warm and solid and alive…though still in pain and emotionally vulnerable. It was that vulnerability that tore at Keiran’s heart. He heard a soft release of breath, and the sound of the bow being lowered, then Gaige stepped out from behind a tree. In the growing darkness, Keiran could just make out his mate’s tall form. Keiran crossed to him in quick strides and pulled him against him, offering his comfort and strength, and finding some for himself, as well, in knowing Gaige wasn’t hurting and alone any longer. Gaige leaned into him. “Are you okay?” Keiran asked, pressing a kiss against his lover’s cold lips. “I felt you all the way across camp and came as fast I could. It happened again, didn’t it?” Gaige nodded. “I’m okay. It caught me off guard. I stopped by to check on Lilia and the old woman. As I was leaving, it hit me. It happened faster this time and I didn’t black out, but…gods, Keiran.” Keiran led him over to the escarpment of rock that overlooked the valley below, and pressed him to sit, then sank down next to him. He unhooked the flask from his belt, pulled 260


out the stopper, and handed the flask to Gaige, who took it and drank. “What did you see, m’aerlas?” “The same things I’ve been seeing in the dreams, except even more vividly. Except there was a voice.” A cold chill crept through Keiran. “What kind of voice?” “A terrified one. It said, ‘It’s coming.’ When I asked what was coming, it said, ‘Death.’” “Death?” Keiran echoed. “The draegan woman…Sele. It was her.” “The voice? But she doesn’t speak…” “In my head. She was in my head, Keiran. I think she saw the same things I did. I think she was warning me that they’re not just dreams. They’re real…and they’re coming.” “But how would she know? And how was she in your head?” “I don’t know. After it passed, I tried to read her, but I couldn’t. She’d slipped back into that daze she’s in most of the time. But it was her. It was her.” Keiran watched the replay of the incident in Gaige’s mind and was as shocked as Gaige had been when Gaige asked the old woman if it had been her and she nodded. Keiran smoothed a hand over Gaige’s cheek, trying to think, but finding his own mind in as jumbled a state as Gaige’s. “I think she’s a seer,” Gaige said. “I think…I think she sees things like I do, except she can’t speak about them, has no way to communicate them. They probably fill her head and 261


torture her, and she has no way to let them out. Then today I was there, and…” “Do you think her vision bled over into you?” “Maybe, yeah. Usually I have the dreams. They’re upsetting, they make me unsettled, but they don’t hurt me physically except for leaving me a little shaky when I wake up from them. The thing that happened when I saw the settlement under attack was different, though. It was like a dream in a way, but the pain…” His voice caught. “I know, I remember,” Keiran said, all too aware of how Gaige had suffered. So much so that it had affected him as well because of their link, just as it had this evening. He thought back and tried to call up what bits and pieces of memory he still had about any draegan seers he might have known as a child. There was one in particular who’d been an advisor to his mother. He didn’t remember her well, though. Couldn’t remember her face or her name. He didn’t think he’d ever heard his parents mention anything about seers suffering from the kind of agony Gaige had twice now. “The attack on the settlement…out of all the things Byram’s done, all the places he’s invaded or assaulted, the people he’s no doubt hurt or killed over the past weeks, why would I have had a vision about that one small settlement in particular?” “You think it was because Sele was there and you somehow realized she’s also a seer?” “I think maybe it wasn’t even my vision…I think it might have been hers.” 262


“And it overflowed to you?” “I don’t know what else to guess. I just don’t understand why. And I don’t know why the pain, unless maybe it’s because she’s so tormented by the visions that they’re physically painful for her, so that’s what I pick up on.” “I don’t remember much about seers from when I was younger, but it’s possible that up until recently, Sele was the only draegan seer who’d survived. You didn’t begin to have the dreams until after you and I joined and the extra boost of draegan blood brought your abilities to light. Maybe…I don’t know, maybe draegan seers have some kind of mental connection that would allow you to experience her visions. I don’t remember ever hearing about anything like that, but it’s possible. We’ll ask Iann tomorrow. He may know.” Gaige dragged in a breath and nodded. “Whatever the case, though, Keiran…what I’m seeing and what she’s seeing—if she really is having visions, too—is that people are going to die. Death, she said. And that’s what I’ve felt, too. It’s coming.” Keiran wrapped a hand behind Gaige’s head and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Not today, m’aerlas,” he said, a fierce surge of protectiveness welling up from his gut. “Not at all, if I have anything to say about it. Not on my watch.” He didn’t blame his mother for what had happened to the draegans…no one did. Byram’s attack had been too swift, too unexpected. He, however, had lived all but the first eight years of his life under the sorcerer’s malignant shadow. And unlike the lords who’d ruled before him, who’d become complacent 263


in their peace and prosperity, he’d experienced loss, and poverty, and what it meant to literally fight for the very right to exist. He’d continue to fight with his last breath to protect his people, and he’d be damned if he’d let Byram or whatever evil machinations Byram had set in motion win the day. “How are you feeling?” he asked. “How’s your head?” “A little achy, but better.” Keiran rose and held out his hand to Gaige. “Then come fly with me.” Gaige’s breath caught and a tremor of fear—for Keiran, not himself—rippled off him. Keiran felt him struggling with the urge to tell him no, he shouldn’t or couldn’t fly because of the danger, and he waited to see how Gaige would deal with it. Finally, Gaige sighed, resigned that he wouldn’t change Keiran’s mind. “Several draegans have taken wing in this area before and had no problems,” Keiran said to reassure him. “We’ll stay close, right over the camp.” “I shouldn’t leave my post here,” Gaige said. “We’ll be able to see this area, and more, from above. That’s why I want to go up, anyway. A detachment of the sorcerer’s men roamed the forest near the camp this afternoon. I want to be sure they’re still traveling away from us.” Gaige wrapped his fingers through Keiran’s and stood. “You’re stubborn. You know that, don’t you?” Keiran smiled. “And you’re sexy.” “What does that have to do with anything?” “I’m just saying it like I see it.” 264


A soft huff that was almost a laugh escaped Gaige. It was the best, most reassuring sound Keiran had heard all evening. Gaige rolled his eyes, but Keiran felt humor in his mate’s thoughts. “All right. Do your thing,” Gaige said. Still smiling, Keiran focused on the reservoir of magick inside him, and in a shimmer of air, and a glorious explosion of strength and power, shifted into his winged form. He gazed down at his mate, and felt a completely different strength surge through him. Gods he loved the man…beyond comprehension, beyond anything that could be understood based on the rules of the world in which they lived. ::So, are you just going to stand there and hope I’m suddenly going to develop the ability to leap high enough to mount you, or are you going to help me up?:: Keiran could make out Gaige’s smile and it sent a curl of tenderness through him. He bent his neck down until he could look his mate in the eye, then he gently brushed his snout against Gaige’s cheek. ::I love you.:: Gaige raised his hands to Keiran’s face and stroked his long, scaled jaw with such a gentle, wonder-filled touch it made Keiran’s chest ache. ::I love you, too. You’re beautiful.:: One palm skimmed upward, to rub the sensitive ridge that ran the length of his snout, and Keiran shivered in pleasure. Gaige’s eyes widened ::You like that?:: ::It feels good.:: ::Good…or good?:: A smile curled back Keiran’s lips, exposing his long, sharp 265


incisors, and he chuckled, which in his winged form sounded like a series of growls. ::I’m glad I can read your mind and know you’re happy,:: Gaige said, a grin on his own face. ::Otherwise, the display of sharp teeth? It might be a bit intimidating.:: Keiran dropped a wing to give Gaige a step to use to mount him. Gaige picked up Keiran’s clothes and weapons, along with his own bow and quiver, and stashed them all in a large crack between rocks, out of sight in case unexpected visitors passed through the area. Then he grasped one of the spines at the base of Keiran’s neck, lifted a booted foot to Keiran’s wing, and with a graceful tug, pulled himself up and hooked a leg over Keiran’s back just in front of his wings. His weight settled against Keiran, only a slight burden, but one that sent another pleasurable tingle through him, down his backbone, all the way to the tip of his tail. The last time Gaige had ridden him, as they’d escaped from Thrythgar, the only things on Keiran’s mind had been to get them out of there as fast as possible, and his intense fear for Gaige who’d been shot by a soldier’s arrow. But now…having Gaige atop him was pure sensuality. The feel of his mate’s groin burrowed into Keiran’s back, his strong legs pressed to his sides, and his arms clutching his neck made Keiran eager to be back in their tent, where he could lay his mate out across the bed and thrust hard and deep into Gaige’s sublime and willing body. ::I’m making you horny.:: 266


The humor in Gaige’s tone only stirred Keiran’s libido more. ::You always make me horny. Now quit squirming up there before I lose it and you fall off. And hold on.:: He spread his wings and lifted off the ground. Then, when he was high enough, he used the air current to help carry them. ::It’s incredible up here,:: Gaige said, his telepathic voice rich with awe. ::It truly is.:: ::The last time I was too out of it to notice, except for how cold it was. But looking at all of this below us, feeling the wind and the freedom…I can understand why you have to take wing sometimes. I’m sorry I asked you not to fly anymore.:: ::It’s all right. I understood why. But I’m glad we resolved it as we did. I’m glad you’re here with me.:: Gaige rested his cheek against Keiran’s neck. ::So am I. I wouldn’t miss this for anything.:: ::Neither would I.:: ::If I fell off, would you be able to catch me?:: ::Yes. But don’t fall off. That’s one experience I don’t want to go through firsthand. I don’t think my heart could take it.:: ::Believe me, it’s not something I want to try just to test you.:: Gaige stroked the scales along Keiran’s neck, sending another shudder of pleasure through Keiran. ::So…how’d it go with Thomas today?:: ::You mean did we kill one another?:: ::You read that thought in my mind,:: Gaige accused, but his tone was light and Keiran felt him smiling. 267


::Of course I read it in your mind. And not to worry, the human still lives and breathes. I’m not even going to dignify your concern that he might have done me in, however. What, would he have hit me over the head with one of his precious books?:: Gaige laughed at that. ::He might have, if you breathed on one of them wrong.:: ::Lucky for him I was gone most of the day.:: ::How did he react to Byram’s grimoire?:: ::About the way you’d expect…like a dog salivating over a juicy piece of meat. He immediately began muttering about languages and translations, and his eyes glittered like he’d been taken with the brain fever. He was still hard at it when I left to come find you. I’m grateful for his enthusiasm, but I draw the line at allowing him to sleep in our tent each night. I have no intention of sharing what precious little time I have alone with you with a know-it-all academic who’d likely launch into a lesson in anatomy or the history of sexual intercourse should he see us bare our pricks to one another. And gods know what he’d do if he actually saw us fucking. We’d no doubt be doing it all wrong, according to one of his texts.:: ::M’aerlas, If he indicates he wants to stay every moment of the day and night, I’ll personally escort him away and set a guard on his tent to ensure he stays put,:: Gaige said. Warmth swelled in Keiran’s heart at the sound of the draegan endearment on Gaige’s lips. It was the first time his mate had used it, and though it seemed like a small thing, to 268


Keiran it felt as precious as anything he’d ever heard. They flew in comfortable silence for a while as Keiran scanned Gaige’s watch area. ::It’s dark tonight,:: Gaige said, ::and my night vision isn’t as good as yours…do you see anything down there?:: ::No, not here. Everything’s quiet.:: Keiran scanned the camp itself, picking up heat from the cooking fires and a few bodies wandering through the camp. It was harder to see people who were inside the tents, since the canvas muted their heat patterns. He’d seen no active heat patterns in the woods on the south side of the camp outside the shield. ::I’m going to make a pass over the east side now. Marta, Iann and I tracked the detachment only an hour or so away from the camp. I want to make sure they kept going.:: ::Will you be able to see from here?:: ::I should be able to. A group of warm bodies make a pretty big heat signature, and unless they’re trying to stay undercover in the dark, they’ll probably also be carrying a few torches. There…see off to the right?:: He felt Gaige concentrating, and then heard in his mind a startled gasp. :: Do you see them?:: ::Yes, I see the flicker of torches, I think,:: Gaige said. ::But… What’s that above them?:: Keiran swept his gaze over the area again, picking up the group on the ground, the torches…and nothing else. ::I don’t see anything. Where are you looking?:: ::You can’t see that?:: 269


He sensed Gaige was pointing at something, and craned his neck around to try to see his mate. Sure enough, Gaige was pointing in the direction of the detachment. Keiran turned his head back to look at it again…and still observed nothing beyond what he’d already seen. ::See what? What does it look like?:: ::The shimmering thing above them, above the trees. It’s right between us and them.:: Shimmering thing above the trees… Frustration built in Keiran. He didn’t have any idea what his mate was talking about. All he saw above the trees was dark sky laced with clouds. Shock suddenly rippled off Gaige. ::Uh, Keiran…what do Byram’s nets look like?:: ::His nets? I don’t know. They’re invisible.:: But then a strange, knowing tingle began in his gut. ::Why?:: he asked. :: I’m not sure, but…I think that’s what I’m looking at.:: Stunned into silence, Keiran continued to look, and continued to see nothing at all. Yet Gaige saw something. Shimmering. Above the trees. ::How far above the trees?:: ::From the tree tops to…about our level. My gods, that’s what it is. It has to be. And you can’t see it?:: ::I don’t see anything.:: ::How…why would I be able to? Maybe I’m just going crazy…:: But Keiran knew better. What Gaige had described could only be a net. A net that was supposed to be invisible. Was invisible to him and the other draegans. Invisible as far as he 270


knew to humans, too, since humans had, on rare occasions, flown up with draegans and none had ever mentioned seeing one. Yet not, apparently, invisible to Gaige. Gaige, who was unique…a half-human who’d mated with a draegan lord. ::Let’s fly around the perimeter of the camp and find out if you can see any others that might be nearby.:: ::Okay.:: If one could sound breathless when they weren’t even using their lungs to speak, but instead were talking in their mind, Gaige sounded it. They swept north, and almost directly over their own tent far below, Keiran heard Gaige say, ::Oh, shit.:: ::Oh, shit? What ‘oh, shit’?:: Keiran hated the flare of anxiety he felt. ::Holy gods, Keiran…there’s one that starts right at the edge of the camp and extends northward. It's not as big as the other one, but it’s right here. Please tell me you’ve never shifted near the tent and taken off or landed here?:: Keiran thought back, trying to remember, his pulse thudding through his veins at an accelerated speed. ::I don’t think so. There are too many trees, not enough room to spread wings. No. I never have. None of us have.:: ::Thank gods. The thought of a net so close…:: He didn’t have to say it. Keiran could finish for him…the thought of one so closed scared the hel out of him. It scared the hel out of Keiran, too. Although he’d never taken off or landed near their tent, how many times had he or one of the other draegans flown near the net? Or near the other one? All 271


Gaige’s worries and fears about the nets finally hit home to Keiran, as he began to realized just how damned lucky he and the rest of the draegans who’d flown over the camp had been. ::Let’s make a pass along the western edge, then head back to where we left our things.:: ::Okay.:: Keiran couldn’t even begin to express his relief when Gaige reported he saw nothing in the sky above or around the eastern and southern sides of the camp. Most of the time when one of the draegans took wing, it had been in this area because the trees were spread farther apart, and with the rocky cliff and the large valley below, it had always been a good spot to stretch out one’s wings when the ache to be airborne had become too much. When they landed, Gaige slid off him, and Keiran shifted back to his human form. For several long moments they didn’t move, either of them…they just stared at each other, both still in shock. “How can I see them?” Gaige finally asked, his voice hoarse. “I’m not sure, but it probably has to do with the fact you’re neither fully human nor fully draegan.” “So Byram’s magick somehow gets cancelled out with me?” “Something like that.” “Keiran…if I can see the nets…” “I know. It changes everything.” 272


CHAPTER 15

Keiran looked around the table at the gathered group— Marta, Iann, Wen, and Gaige, who sat next to him, his body pressed just close enough to arouse Keiran’s senses with his clean, masculine scent. There were occasions when Keiran would glance up and still expect to see Jax at the table as well, his dark braids hanging down his back, his gaze intense…and then he’d remember that Jax was no longer here, no longer one of his lieutenants, his confidants. He missed his friend sometimes— they’d been through a lot together, and Jax was a good fighter in tough situations. But though Keiran considered himself a forgiving person, he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to forgive 273


Jax for what had happened the day Keiran and Gaige had returned to the camp. Keiran had always cared for the other draegan, but nothing, not even a friendship of forty years, could compare to how deeply his feelings ran for his mate. Gaige was his heart and soul, and the moment Jax had lashed out to hurt him, all ties Keiran had had with the draegan had been severed as thoroughly as if they’d been sliced through with a sword. Keiran didn’t care that Jax had tried to attack him at the end…no one, no one would hurt his mate again. “Say that again?” Marta’s thready voice pulled Keiran back to the present and the reason they were gathered here this morning. “Gaige can see Byram’s nets.” Another long moment of shocked silence followed, until Wen murmured, “Bloody hel.” Iann didn’t speak, but Keiran could see by the intent expression on his face the old draegan was processing the information. “How is that possible?” Marta wanted to know, looking between Keiran and Gaige. “We’re not certain,” Gaige responded, the warm huskiness of his voice curling around Keiran like the welcome heat of a fire on a winter night. “We think maybe it’s because I’m part human and part draegan and there’s some aspect to Byram’s spell that doesn’t account for half-breeds.” Torn from his momentary basking, Keiran winced at the word, hating its derogatory connotation. While he didn’t have full blood of either race in him, Gaige wasn’t half anything. 274


He was a whole, strong, intelligent, compassionate man. Keiran preferred to see his mate as unique…a new race melded from two others. But Gaige didn’t seem to be bothered by the term since he’d used it himself, and Keiran felt no resentment coming from him. “Just curious…can Eliessán see the nets?” Wen asked. “I know she’s full elfkind, but she’s not human or draegan.” “No, she can’t,” Keiran said. “She and I have talked about it several times over the years. Which, again, seems to point to the fact Gaige’s mixed blood could be the reason they’re visible to him. We’re not sure if he can also seem them during the day, but nets or no, it’s not safe for any of us to fly in daylight now with Byram’s troops everywhere. At low altitudes we’re too susceptible to their arrows, but even at higher altitudes, it would make us too easy to be seen and followed. We can’t allow Byram’s soldiers to track us and find our camp or any others. So for now we’re limited to night flights.” “Keiran and I are going to go out again tonight, a little farther from the camp to see if there are other nets nearby. In the meantime, we know for sure there’s a net here”—Gaige pointed to an area of the forest a couple of leagues from the eastern boundary of the camp—“and another near our northern border here.” Marta’s face paled at the information. “That’s practically on top of us.” “Yes, it is,” Keiran said. “Which is why from now on, no draegans are to shift inside the camp anywhere, and for the 275


time being, outside of it either until we’re certain we know where all the existing nets are within several leagues of here. Once we have an idea where they’re located, we hope we’ll be able to begin flying night patrols…it would give us a much fuller and more expedient view of what’s going on across the land. Right now, though, we don’t know if the nets are stable and stay in one place, or if they drift. Gaige feels they’re probably in fixed positions, but until he’s had more opportunities to observe them, we can’t be positive. “Maybe you could map them?” Wen suggested. “If they’re fixed, it should be easy enough to mark them on a map for future reference.” “Byram could change the locations, though,” Keiran warned. “They could appear to be unmoving, but what’s to stop him from eliminating some and creating others to throw us off balance?” “Byram has no way of knowing I can see them, though,” Gaige said in a thoughtful tone, strumming his long fingers against the scarred wood table. “So he doesn’t really have a reason to change them around to confuse us. Now, he may put up new ones, no doubt, because he knows Keiran flew out of Thrythgar, and that will have put Byram on alert and he’ll want to have more area covered. But my guess is it’s not going to occur to him we’ve found a way to circumvent them.” He leaned across the table and picked up a thin sheet of parchment from the stack of what had to have been Thomas’s. He laid it atop the map, and, using pen and ink, lightly shaded in the areas where he’d seen the nets the night before. “It 276


won’t hurt to map the ones we find. As long as everyone understands this map is only a guideline and not to be fully relied upon.” Everyone nodded. “With Gaige able to see the nets,” Iann said, speaking up for the first time, “should we revisit the possibility of moving to Kellesborne?” “I’ve been thinking about that.” Thinking about it more than any of them, with the exception of Gaige, could know. Kellesborne pulled at Keiran so strongly it almost hurt to think about it. It always had. But since he and Gaige had stayed there after their escape from Thrythgar, the lure had become stronger than ever. The ancient draegan stronghold was calling him home. Home. He’d only lived there eight years of his one hundred and eight, less than one-tenth of his life, yet the white stone castle had never ceased being the place of his heart. “It’s your heritage,” Gaige had said last night when Keiran had confessed his longings to his mate in the dark of their bed still warm from lovemaking. “It’s the physical and symbolic center of the draegan people, and you’re their lord. But more than that…Keiran, it’s your home, where you were born and spent your early years surrounded by your family’s love. Of course you’re drawn to it.” And he wanted to return. But after a long talk last night, he and Gaige had agreed the timing wasn’t right just yet. “As long as there are no nets over and around Kellesborne, 277


we would be able to fly supplies up to the castle, which wasn’t a possibility before. That’s been the biggest limiting factor to living there. But because there’s so much heavy troop activity, it would still be very difficult to get this large of a population through the forest and to the mountains unseen. Gaige and I feel it’s too much of a risk, we’d be too exposed and open to attack. If it was just our own soldiers, I’d say yes. But we have too many civilians, elderly, and children in camp now. Until we have more trained and able fighters to protect them, and until we have more information on the nets, it’s safer for us to stay put. Kellesborne will definitely remain an option in case of emergency, however,” he said, addressing his last remark to Iann, who’d broached the topic. He suspected the old draegan yearned to return home as well. “Any thoughts? Anything else we need to discuss?” Keiran asked, looking at each of them. Three heads shook in the negative. But Marta spoke up. “The scouts I sent to Gelvish to unearth whatever the sorcerer might be up to there, and why he’d be sending the draegan children there, returned late last night.” “And?” Keiran prompted. Marta shook her head and sighed. “And nothing. Gelvish is a ghost town. It’s deserted. And looks to have been for some time. There’s no evidence of a raid. Bessel and Jain said it looked like everyone had simply disappeared or walked away.” “What in hel?” Keiran said softly under his breath. “I’ve been to Gelvish,” Gaige said. Keiran felt his mate’s 278


puzzlement rippling off him. “Two or three years ago. It was a small town, one or two hundred souls, but very much alive at that time. Most of the people there worked in the ore mines in the surrounding mountains.” “Our scouts checked out the mines as well and found them as deserted as the town. There was no evidence anyone had been to the mines in months, whether for mining or some other nefarious activity. Bessel and Jain knew why we had them go to Gelvish, knew about Byram’s shipment of draegan children, so they searched the mines in case Byram might have other innocents stashed there. That’s why it took them so long to return…the mines are large and have extensive tunnels. They found nothing at all.” “Damn it all, I know we overheard those soldiers say Gelvish the night we found out about the wagons…didn’t we?” Gaige asked, looking at Keiran, his blue eyes shadowed with uncertainty. “Yes, we did. They definitely said they were to meet the wagons at the edge of the Great Plain and escort them to Gelvish.” “A false trail, perhaps?” Marta said. “Maybe Byram didn’t even want his own soldiers to know the true destination of the children. Maybe they were to take the younglings to Gelvish, but were to be met there by another detachment of troops who would continue the journey to elsewhere.” Gaige nodded. “It’s possible. Byram likes to use diversionary tactics, and I can speak from experience that he compartmentalizes information and doesn’t tell anyone 279


everything. I worked at his side, as captain of his personal guard, for how many years? And, for example, I never knew the nets existed, or that he employs nyctophans to destroy any draegans caught in the nets. Obviously there was a lot I didn’t know,” he murmured, his voice rife with disgust. Keiran pressed a hand against Gaige’s thigh under the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “As much as it pains me to say it, Byram’s not a fool,” Keiran said to the group. “The bastard’s wily. It’s possible the Gelvish thing was a false trail. If that’s the case, though, then we’re back to knowing nothing about where Byram was taking the children and for what reason he wanted them.” “Children?” a soft-spoken male voice said from the doorway of the tent. Keiran gave a mental sigh that they hadn’t finished their discussion before Thomas’s arrival. He turned to look over his shoulder at the two figures darkening the tent opening with the gray fog of early morning behind them, casting them in silhouette. “We’ll wait outside,” Eliessán said, grabbing Thomas by the arm and push-pulling him back through the entrance. “No, it’s all right. Come in,” Keiran told them. Though the academic had rubbed him the wrong way from the start, Keiran knew he was their best hope for cracking the secrets of Byram’s grimoire. And while he still wasn’t sure he fully trusted Thomas, he did trust Eliessán, and knew she’d keep the man in line should he ever feel the urge to tell secrets he shouldn’t. 280


The tall, almost painfully thin human turned around. When the tent flap fell closed behind him, his brown-eyed gaze, softer and less critical than Keiran remembered from yesterday, flickered hesitantly around the group. He looked as if he’d just walked into a sabeen den. Why he should feel that way, Keiran didn’t know…until he realized all of the draegans and Gaige stared at Thomas. And Eliessán stood sentry in front of the tent’s doorway, where no one would be able to leave without going through her first. Tension swirled in the room, radiating from Thomas, and from the draegans, none of whom, he knew, could figure out the odd, sometimes prickly human. Suddenly feeling sorry for the man, he motioned a hand toward the table. “Come join us, Thomas.” Thomas cleared his throat, sounding nervous. His hands tightly clutched several books and loose papers he held against his chest. “I…first I’d like to apologize,” he murmured, his voice stumbling. “It’s been brought to my attention that my behavior has been less than”—another gurgled throat clearing—“well, respectful. And not very grateful either.” Keiran figured Eliessán had probably lectured him. ::Or Lilia,:: Gaige said, picking up on his thought. “So I…er…well…I’m sorry. I sometimes forget there are other things in life than…well…books.” ::Definitely Lilia. Those are her words.:: Keiran saw his mate fighting to hide a smile. Keiran swallowed his pride and the irritation he’d been feeling for the human. “We’re grateful you do like books so 281


well, Thomas. Please, sit.” ::What’s this? The draegan lord on his best behavior?:: Gaige teased. Keiran gave him a sidelong scowl. ::I’m trying to be nice here. Help me out, would you?:: ::How much do you want to trust him with?:: ::I don’t want to trust him at all. But we’re not getting anywhere on our own, so maybe it’s worth telling him and seeing if he has any input.:: Gaige took pity on Keiran and did the explaining to Thomas about the draegan children they’d rescued, how it had come about, and how their lead at Gelvish had fizzled. “Draegan children…” Thomas mused, tugging off his cloak and folding his long, skinny form onto one of the benches at the table, not noticing that he’d bumped into Iann, and nearly stepped on Wen’s foot as he squeezed in. “It’s always about the young ones with him.” “What do you mean?” “Well, it was the kids who led Byram to start his war against the draegans in the first place a century ago, when he claimed the draegans had killed all those human children. But I believe, in fact, the draegans did no such thing, and that the high sorcerer killed the human youngsters himself, in order to stir the fury of the people, and incite such rage against the draegans the human population would not only allow the sorcerer to hunt down and kill draegans, they’d give him their full support. I think it was all a diversion.” “A diversion from what?” Gaige asked. 282


“A ploy to distract the people of Velensperia from his real desire…which was capturing draegan children and breeding mothers for some treacherous reason of his own, and killing all the other draegans who would fight and destroy him should they discover the truth.” The man’s words fell like a bolt of fire from the heavens. Keiran stared at the man, astounded. The others did as well, even Gaige. “Where are you getting this information from?” Keiran demanded, his voice gruff from the shock. “No one but the draegans has ever suspected Byram killed the human children himself. And what do you mean about him capturing draegan children and breeding mothers?” It was a theory Keiran had never heard, and it irked him that Thomas might know or suspect something he hadn’t thought of. Thomas met his gaze without flinching. “Research. M’lord.” He added the last as if he’d just remembered he was supposed to be respectful. “I’ve devoted my life to studying the histories of Velensperia, including the Great Massacre.” “The Great Massacre?” Wen said, his freckles standing out from his face as he looked at the human with wide, green eyes. “That’s what the human scholars call Byram’s virtual annihilation of the draegan race,” Thomas said. “And the information I’ve gleaned is all in the books if one takes time to read them. ” Keiran shook his head. “That’s impossible. Byram destroyed all the texts and written histories of the draegans a 283


hundred years ago.” All but the ones at Kellesborne. The sorcerer had never known about those, tucked away safely in the library at the castle. The books available to humans, however, had long ago been burned in the sorcerer’s fires. “Not all of them,” Thomas said matter-of-factly. “The draegans have more supporters than you might realize. I’ve tracked down and read many histories, and from there pieced together the bits that weren’t clear. To me it seems obvious the high sorcerer needed something from the draegans a century ago. He didn’t just slay your race for no good reason.” “He slew our people for power because he knew we were the only race in Velensperia strong enough to overthrow him,” Marta said, giving Thomas a hard stare. Again, Keiran noted, the man didn’t flinch. “In part, yes. There’s no doubt he was after power—look at what he’s done these past hundred years, becoming a tyrant, and not caring in the least how his actions affect any under his rule. But he didn’t just kill draegans haphazardly. He struck first at the draegan lord and her immediate and extended family to ensure none with ‘lord’ blood survived, because they would be the strongest, with the most power, and therefore the deadliest enemies if the truth came out. From there, he hunted all other adult draegans, except for those already ripe with child. In spite of reports to the contrary, there were very few draegan children slain. Most of the children and the breeders were taken alive.” “How can the people who wrote or told these ‘accounts’ possibly know this?” Keiran demanded, not willing to believe 284


human observers would know more about his own race than he himself did. “Some saw it…a few adults and many children in chains loaded onto wagons. Others say while bodies of adult draegans were prolific, there were very few children’s bodies found in the aftermath.” Keiran looked at Iann, who’d remained quiet, but whose face appeared grayer and older than Keiran had ever seen it before. “Iann? Do you remember anything like what he’s suggesting?” All eyes turned to the elderly draegan. His already lined forehead creased, with furrows gouging deep into his weathered skin. “There was some talk,” he said, his voice quiet and as raspy as rusted metal. “We never saw any of it ourselves, Hareld and I, but we heard rumors. The rumors were one of the reasons we stayed hidden so long with you…we didn’t want you killed, but we feared if the tales were true, it would be even worse should you be captured. Over time, though, we heard no more about it and discounted it.” “They weren’t rumors.” Thomas sounded fully confident, which again grated at Keiran. And, yet…he couldn’t discount the man’s tale out of hand. There were eerie connections between it and the wagons full of draegan children he and Gaige and the others had rescued. “Considering how many children were taken in the initial attacks,” Thomas continued, “it leads me to believe the 285


sorcerer’s reasons for the massacre could have centered around the children themselves. And from what you’ve said, it appears he still needs them for some reason.” His mousy-brown, untidy brows drew together. “I wonder…” With one hand he reached for the grimoire, which Keiran kept locked away at night, but had set on the table earlier. With his other, he grasped another thick, tattered, leatherbound volume he’d brought with him. He opened them both, and his eyes darted from one to the other. “You wonder what?” Keiran prodded after a lengthy silence where he and the others at the table waited for Thomas to finish his statement. But Keiran’s question hung in the air unanswered. Without a word or even a glance at any of them, the man’s focus had returned to the books and only the books. He muttered softly and his hand was already flying across a sheet of parchment as he scribbled notes to himself with the pen and ink Gaige has used earlier on the map. Gods, the human drove Keiran to madness! He’d dropped all these thunderbolts into their midst, then left them hanging. Keiran fought the urge to grab the man by the scruff of his neck and shake him to get his attention. Only the gentle restraining hand that was Gaige in his thoughts kept him from doing it. ::Leave him be and let him work, love. What he lacks in social skills, he more than seems to make up for in attention to detail. I’m more convinced than ever that if anyone can 286


uncover the secrets in Byram’s grimoire, it’s him.:: Iann, Marta and Wen all looked to Keiran, and the only response he could muster was a shrug and a sigh. Gaige’s fingers curled through his, offering comfort. “Well, I guess we’re done for now,” Keiran said to the group. “And I guess”—he looked at Thomas, brown head bent over his work, and waved a hand in the air—“we’ll know something when he does.” One by one the others rose and left to attend to various duties. Gaige took the time to give him a lingering kiss before he left, and Keiran savored the contact, letting it ground him and give him focus in what had become a wildly spinning world this morning. Gods damn it all…what could Byram be doing with draegan children? A sick ached churned in his gut at the horrific possibilities. “Give Thomas time,” Gaige whispered against his lips. “He’ll find answers.” “I’m trying. I just don’t know how much time we have left.” *

*

*

The next few weeks passed in a blur of exhaustion. From early morning until sunset each day Gaige continued to train the civilians and the members of the draeganjhere who were able to attend when not on duty. His initial instincts had been dead-on about certain of the recruits, and he 287


expected that in short order they’d be able to add over twenty new members to the draeganjhere, and within a few weeks, probably more. But even those who weren’t destined for the draegan guard worked hard and were doing well. In truth, in all the years he’d trained soldiers for the high sorcerer, he’d never had a group of people so desperately eager to learn and please. There was a noticeable difference between trainees who’d been conscripted or who signed on for money or glory, as had been the case with most of Byram’s men, and those who had a deep-seated need to learn how to protect themselves and their loved ones like the people here. Gaige was proud of each and every one of them. At sunset, if Keiran were in camp, he and Gaige took to the air, each night flying farther and farther afield so they could “map” the nets. Oftentimes they wouldn’t arrive back in camp until just before dawn, where they’d fall into bed, too tired to do much of anything except spoon together for a few brief hours of sleep, before getting up and starting all over again. Thomas’s work on Byram’s grimoire continued. In spite of the pages and pages of notes the man had scribbled, and the growing stack of books that threatened to topple the large table in their tent where Thomas worked each day and, sometimes, into the night if Gaige and Keiran were out flying, when asked for a progress report, all Thomas would mutter was, “Getting close.” Trying to pry further information from the man was a waste of time and breath, and a constant source of irritation to Keiran. 288


One good bit of news had come in from the runner who’d been sent to the village at Thrythgar. When Keiran told Gaige what the runner had reported, Gaige had stared at his mate in shock. “How is that possible? You didn’t teach me how to use magick to raise and lower a shield until after we were back here. I didn’t even know the words to use then.” Keiran smiled. “You already know how it’s possible. It’s the intention, m’aerlas, not the words. Remember? When you led the families with kids into the Crystallian Caves, you must have had a very strong intention to have them be protected. The runner said the entrance to the caves had a perfect, draegan-magick protective barrier over it.” “But you and I hadn’t even fully joined yet when I went to Thrythgar. We’d done the physical part, but not the bloodletting. How would I have had enough magick to put up a barrier?” Keiran’s hand cupped his cheek. “Gaige, you were already half-draegan before you met me—you have been all your life. You’ve always had the ability to use draegan magick. It’s in your blood.” Staggered by the news, Gaige found it hard to breathe. “So you’re saying the families and children are okay?” “They’re fine. All of them accounted for and alive thanks to you.” It had taken two days before Gaige could think about it without his insides quivering in relief…and wonder. As Marta had predicted, and word of Keiran’s heritage 289


spread, the number of inhabitants in the camp grew. A handful of draegans and humans had wandered in their general vicinity until the camp sentries brought them in. And others, found by word of mouth, were tracked down by Marta, Iann, Solanis, and sometimes even Keiran himself, and brought to camp if they were willing. As the camp grew, so did the number of people who came to Gaige for training, and it wasn’t unusual for him and Wen to have seventy or more each day. They’d soon have to have help if the group grew much larger. Byram’s attacks on any settlement or village he felt might be harboring draegans or draegan sympathizers grew uglier and more frequent. Scouts brought reports daily, and word also trickled in through the small groups of draegans who had migrated to the camp. Twice since their return from the settlement near the Zekklesian Gaige had had visions of attacks. In both cases, Keiran and a group of the draeganjhere had found the scene exactly where and how Gaige had described it. No innocent lives had been lost in either event. Stories had begun to circulate in camp about Gaige’s ability to “see” things and he’d heard whispers that some were now calling him The Oracle. He didn’t want anyone venerating him for his abilities. Though he knew lives had been saved by his visions—Keiran made a point of reminding him every time Gaige brought up his concerns—he dreaded them, not just for the pain they produced, but because they made him feel so out of control of his own fate. When a vision 290


hit, it consumed him, and there was no escape from it until it had played out. The dreams were the same. Though they didn’t cause him pain in a physical sense, each one tormented him more than the last, making him feel helpless. And he hated it. When the visions of the attacks had occurred, each time he’d gone to Sele directly afterward, to see if she’d experienced it also. Both times he’d found her staring blankly at her fire. He had a sense she was aware of him, and he couldn’t shake the feeling she watched him when he wasn’t looking, but she gave no response to his verbal or mental questions. He’d begun to wonder if the odd connection he’d shared with her had really even happened. Maybe the visions were all his and had nothing to do with her. Each of the newest ones had been clearer and more detailed than the last, and he wondered if perhaps his skills were becoming more fine-tuned. Which might also explain why, though the visions still left him drained and headachy for several hours afterward, the pain wasn’t as debilitating as it had been with the very first one. Still…frustration at not fully understanding what was happening to him gnawed at him on a continual basis. Gaige hadn’t had a chance to talk to Iann about seers as Keiran had suggested—Iann had been out of camp on assignments for Keiran. But on a particularly cold, damp late afternoon, Keiran left Wen and some of the recruits to clean up the clearing after training and went in search of the old draegan, whom he knew had returned to camp last night. Iann 291


seemed his best hope for information about draegan seers from the past, and Gaige was desperate for insight. He found Iann near the south edge of camp, designating sentry duties to the draeganjhere for the next several day’s shifts. Gaige nodded to the old draegan, who gave him a quick smile of acknowledgment, but then he stood to the back of the group until Iann was finished. When all duties had been assigned, the dozen or so gathered members of the draeganjhere dispersed. “Captain Rizik,” each of them said, bowing a head in respect as he or she passed by him. He took time to nod or speak to everyone. When the last had departed, he and Iann met halfway and squeezed one another’s shoulder in greeting. “It’s good to see you,” Iann said. “And you.” Iann nodded toward the retreating backs of the draeganjhere. “I’ve heard nothing but praises about you. For one so worried his background might sour his future, you’ve fully won their hearts and their loyalty. And that, my friend, is the hallmark of a great leader.” His eyes glittered with pride as he gazed at Gaige. “I don’t know about being a great leader. I just try to do right by them.” Gaige was pleased to have the draegan’s approval, but oddly uncomfortable with it as well. Iann had been one of the first he’d duped when he came to the draegan camp posing as a sympathizer for their cause while under Byram’s employ. And the reminder of his past, working for 292


Byram, stirred that same old troubled cold spot in his gut that still, even now, reminded him he wasn’t only part draegan, he was part human as well, with his father’s blood flowing in his veins. He worked hard every day to feel worthy of the draegans’ trust, but wondered if he’d ever be able to accept it completely without that damnable twinge of guilt. “What can I do for you, Gaige? Or did you just come to walk an old draegan home on a cold evening?” Gaige smiled. “Actually, I came hoping you could give me some insight. Keiran suggested you might be able to help.” “I’ll do my best.” “Have you met any of the people we brought back with us from the settlement near the Zekklesian? Aside from Thomas, I mean.” “I’ve met the boy, Wesley—seems like a nice lad, and also attached at the hip to Marta’s son Jarrad. I’ve seen Wes’s mother about, as well, though I’ve not met her.” “Has Keiran talked to you at all about Sele?” “The draegan woman with the mind sickness who can’t speak?” “That’s the one.” “Just that she was the only draegan in the settlement, and he said the two of you found it hard to believe Byram would have wanted her for any reason. I’d have to agree. It seems more likely Byram was after the other man, the one who wasn’t in camp when the attack happened. You know from experience how Byram feels about those who’ve betrayed him, and perhaps this other man had been offering information 293


to the sorcerer but then refused, and Byram sought to put an end to him, or to capture and imprison him.” “Yes, that’s what we think as well. But I’d be curious to get your impression of Sele. Are you busy right now? Would you be willing to meet her?” “Of course. But why the interest in her?” “She’s…a puzzle to me,” Gaige said as they walked. “You’re aware I’ve been having visions?” A smile further creased the lines around Iann’s eyes. “Everyone in camp’s aware of it, Gaige. They’re calling you The Oracle.” Gaige groaned under his breath. “Don’t remind me. It makes me uncomfortable.” “It shouldn’t. Having the sight is a gift very few draegans possess. Those who’ve had it throughout time have been revered. They’ve often been advisors to the draegan lords and even, at times, to the human kings who’ve ruled. And for you to have it, the true mate of the draegan lord…to the draegan people that makes you even more special.” “It doesn’t feel very special when my head’s throbbing, and I too often see people being hurt and killed in the damned visions.” Iann placed a hand on his shoulder in a comforting, almost fatherly gesture, and it made Gaige’s heart twinge. His own father would never have done such a thing. “I can’t presume to know what the visions feel like. But I can assure you they’ve helped people. Think of the lives you’ve already saved.” Gaige swallowed hard. “You sound like Keiran. And I do 294


know and appreciate that lives have been saved. I just don’t understand why me. And why do I see the specific things I see? Which is where the old draegan woman comes in.” “In what way?” “There’s something about her…I wonder if maybe she sees things, too, but I’m not certain. What do you know of draegan seers? Before Byram came to power, do you know if the seers were able to communicate with one another? Maybe able to share visions with one another, see the same things at the same time?” “I don’t recall hearing anything like that,” Iann said. “Like I mentioned, draegan seers were rare even back then, which is why they were so highly honored.” “Was there ever more than one alive at any given time? Surely there must have been? There used to be thousands of draegans.” Gaige spotted Lilia ahead, working at the outdoor cooking fire as she often was, probably brewing some new herbal something-or-other to aid the sick. She caught his eye and waved, then gestured toward the tent indicating he should come on in when he got there. He smiled and nodded, then watched as she disappeared behind the tent’s heavy canvas flap. “The library at Kellesborne has full histories of the draegans and may include specific information about seers who’ve lived. But it’s possible there could have been more than one at a time.” Gaige lifted the tent flap and ushered his companion 295


inside. “The sight,” Iann continued as he entered, “often ran in—” His voice cut off so suddenly in a choked wheeze, worry swamped Gaige. He rested a hand on the draegan’s shoulder and looked into his ashen face. “Iann, what is it?” Gaige felt rather than saw Lilia’s presence moving close as well, her healer instincts no doubt kicking in, in case she was needed. “…families,” Iann whispered. “Families?” Gaige wasn’t sure to what Iann referred, then realized he’d been finishing his earlier sentence. The sight often ran in families. But at the moment Gaige was more concerned with what had so distracted Iann. The draegan’s wide-eyed gaze was locked on something across the tent. He followed Iann’s line of sight and realized the man was staring at Sele. More of a surprise was that the old woman stared back. “This is who I was telling you about, Iann,” Gaige said. He crossed over to Sele and leaned down to give her hand a gentle squeeze. “This is—” “Selene,” Iann whispered. Gaige and Lilia both looked at him in surprise, and a strange tingle shot through Gaige. “You know her?” “Oh, yes…I do.” Iann’s voice still sounded choked. He suddenly crossed the room, dropped to his knees in front of Sele, and lowered his head to her lap. Gaige gaped at him, looked at Lilia, who met his own 296


shocked stare with one of her own, then they both looked back to Iann, who had moisture welling from his closed eyes. But even more astonishing was when one of Sele’s withered hands moved to settle atop Iann’s gray head. Tears glistened in her eyes as well. “Iann?” Gaige’s voice sounded as raspy and dry as a desert storm. “Who is she?” Iann sniffed and lifted his head. He stared into Sele’s face and tenderly brushed a hand along her cheek to wipe away her tears. Then his eyes turned to Gaige. “Her name is Selene. She’s your grandmother.”

297


CHAPTER 16

The world dropped away from around Gaige. He was vaguely aware of Lilia next to him, and the two draegans in front of him, but he felt as if he hung suspended in mid-air, swaying, desperately needing to find purchase, but unable to grasp anything substantial. Until Lilia pulled another bench over near the fire and pressed Gaige down onto it. Only then did the ground rush back up to meet him, and he drew air into his lungs, not realizing until that moment he’d forgotten to breathe. “Wh—at?” he whispered, certain he’d misunderstood. “She’s your grandmother,” Iann said gently. Gaige stared at the old woman, who slowly turned her 298


head to look at him. He opened his mouth, tried to speak, but nothing came out. Grandmother. “She’s also a seer.” My gods, she was a seer, just as he’d suspected. My grandmother, the seer. So many emotions roiled inside him, so many questions, they overwhelmed Gaige. Had she already known of their relationship? Was that why he’d always gotten the feeling she was watching him? Or was she just learning about it now also? “Funny I was just telling you that the sight runs in families.” Iann gave him a tremulous smile. “She was an advisor to the draegan lord, Keiran’s mother. I thought she was dead.” His voice filled the silence Gaige couldn’t. Iann once again focused on the old woman, his expression as tender as his touch had been earlier. “Grandmother…” Gaige whispered, finding his voice at last. “Yes. And the only woman I’ve ever loved.” Iann again stroked her cheek. Fresh tears spilled from Sele’s—Selene’s—eyes as they moved slowly from Gaige, to Iann, to Gaige again. Gaige’s chest felt so tight he thought it might burst…and realized he’d been holding his breath again. He let it out slowly, then pulled in another ragged gulp of air. “Are you her mate?” Lilia asked Iann, her voice quavering with unshed emotion. “In my heart, always, yes,” Iann said. 299


“In your heart? Does that mean…were you, are you true mates?” Gaige asked. Draegans could and did fall in love and mate and it didn’t have to be a true-mating. True-matings were less common. “No, not true mates…though we loved each other enough many thought we were. If we had been, it would have been easier.” He sighed. “We couldn’t be together, though we wished it. Because she was a seer, Selene’s family wanted more for her than a soldier. If we’d been true mates, it would have been difficult for them to argue, but as it was…” “But you weren’t just any soldier,” Gaige said. “You were a member of the lord’s draeganjhere at Kellesborne.” “So I could be close to her.” Iann smiled, rising from the floor to sit next to Selene. “Though she was bound to another, I couldn’t bear the thought of not being able to see her. I trained for and became a member of the draeganjhere to be near her.” “Did you… Were you…” Gaige stumbled over the words he wanted to say. “Are you my grandfather?” Hope caused him to hold his breath again. He’d always liked Iann, and the older draegan had never treated him with anything but affectionate respect. He was the kind of man Gaige’s father had never been. Iann’s gaze rose to meet his again, and his eyes filled with pleasure, then sadness. “I wish I could tell you yes,” he said softly. “I’d be proud to be your grandfather. But fate didn’t decree such a thing. Don’t mistake me, though, Gaige. Your grandfather, the draegan Selene was mated to by her family 300


was a good man, an honorable man, and he cared for her and your mother. I held no hard feelings toward him.” Disappointment bled through Gaige, weighting him down. It had been too much to hope for…a grandmother and a grandfather all at once in a neat, perfect package. A small bit of normalcy in a life that had never had any. Still… His gaze slid once again to the old woman. I have a grandmother. And she alone was a gift he’d never expected. “But you didn’t ever stop loving her, even knowing you couldn’t have her?” he asked Iann. “No. And there’s been no other except her. Could you ever stop loving Keiran? Or take another in his stead after having been with him?” Gaige’s chest constricted and a hot lump filled his throat. “Never.” “When Keiran said your mother’s name was Albione, I knew right away who you were. As I told you, you have her eyes. I was stunned to realize she’d lived through the attacks…she was just a small child, several years younger than Keiran, and he was only eight at the time. I’m sure he doesn’t even remember her or he would have mentioned it to you. But even then I never dreamed Selene would still be alive. Because she was the lord’s advisor, I fully expected she would have been killed in the first wave, along with the council.” Iann took the woman’s hands in his and, surprisingly, she lifted her eyes to meet his. “I looked for you anyway, though,” he told her. “Everywhere Hareld and I traveled with Keiran in those years afterward, when we came across the remnants of 301


our people, I asked, but only ever received the same answer…all who’d been associated with the lord were gone.” Gaige studied his grandmother. Her gaze was beginning to dim. He was surprised she’d been as alert this whole time as she had been. But he supposed learning the love of your life was still alive and was sitting next to you after a hundred years would be a pretty big emotional upheaval. He tried to imagine what it would be like to lose Keiran, to believe he was dead, then to have him show up again unexpectedly years later. The agony that swept through him at the thought of losing Keiran clenched around his chest with a brutal crush. Enough so that he was afraid if something should ever happen to his mate, the grief of that loss might very well drive him mad. His heart stalled for a moment as a thought occurred to him, and he looked at Selene in a new light. Lilia had said something moments before about going to pour some tea for them and left the tent. Gaige rose and, giving Iann and his grandmother a murmured excuse that he was going to help, slipped through the flap. The young dark-haired woman knelt next to the cooking fire in the growing twilight, a pot in her hand and mugs lined up in front of her on a low rock. Gaige crouched next to her and held each mug as she poured the spicy, fragrant tea. “Thank you,” she murmured, offering him a smile. “Lilia, when did you say Selene became unable to speak? I know it was before you were born, but did your mum ever say 302


how long before?” Lilia’s face scrunched in thought. “I’m twenty-eight, so maybe three or four years before I was born?” Gaige nodded. “I wonder if…” Lilia set down the pot and rested a hand on his forearm. “What is it?” “Your mum told you something happened that made Selene cry for days and then after that, she was different person. Well…I’m thirty-two. My mother was murdered when I was born…” Lilia’s eyes widened. “Oh, Gaige, do you think that’s what caused her illness? Her grief over her daughter’s death?” He swallowed against the damned knot that had returned to fill his throat as he thought again of how empty and desolate his life would be if something happened to Keiran. “Grief can be a powerful. But I guess we won’t ever know for sure what happened with Selene.” The hand on his arm squeezed gently. “She has you now. And Iann. She’s been more responsive since you came into her life than ever before, and tonight, even more so. You two may be able to ease the hollow inside her. And, perhaps she can help fill the hollow inside you as well.” “I’m not hollow. I have Keiran.” “And you love him beyond all else, I know. But you never had a mother, and I don’t need to hear details of your life to realize your father, General Rizik, wasn’t all that a father should be.” “You don’t know the half of it,” Gaige said, bitterness 303


eking out of his every word. A day didn’t go by that he didn’t remember what had happened in Byram’s dungeon. Didn’t remember his father not only letting Byram do the things to Gaige he’d done, but watching it all. Didn’t remember his father shoving a sword into Keiran’s chest. “Maybe the gods brought you and your grandmother and Iann here at the same time so you can all heal and find the families the high sorcerer robbed you of.” “Do you think she already knew that I was her grandson?” “She’s more aware than most realize. I believe she hears much of what goes on around her, even when she appears far away. So, yes, I think she probably did know after she saw you at the settlement, but had no way to communicate it to you. Her way of showing you was to be responsive to you in ways she usually isn’t with outsiders.” Keiran grasped Lilia’s hands. “I’m glad she has you.” And he meant it. If Lilia’s mother hadn’t take Selene into her home, and given her into Lilia’s care when she passed on, he couldn’t imagine what would have happened to his grandmother. “Just because this has come to light, about Iann and about me, doesn’t mean we don’t still all need you. She needs you. Please tell me you’ll continue to care for her.” Lilia’s smile was warm and her small palm came up to press against Gaige’s cheek. “Of course I will.” “Thank you. For all you do.” Her low, quiet laughter was as warm as her smile. “Right now I’m not doing much. Come on, let’s get this tea inside before it’s cold.” 304


Gaige helped her carry it into the tent and pass it out. Selene took only a few sips from hers. She seemed to be slipping farther from them. “She’s tired,” Lilia said. “It’s been a long, eventful day for her. I should probably help her to bed. You’re both welcome to stay and say goodnight to her once she’s in bed.” Iann nodded. But Gaige, still overwhelmed by the night’s happenings, suddenly craved the comfort of Keiran’s presence more than anything else. He needed to be with his mate, hear the low rumble of his voice, feel his touch. He patted Iann’s shoulder. “You stay and tuck her in. I’m going to say my goodnights now and head back to the tent.” He squatted in front of Selene and pressed his hands lightly to hers, then leaned up to kiss her soft, parchment-thin cheek. “Goodnight…Grandmother,” he whispered. She blinked and for the briefest of moment he thought he saw a sparkle in her rheumy eyes. With a wave to Iann and another thank you to Lilia, he pushed through the tent flap into the now dark night. He stood for long moments, breathing in the cold, damp tang of the forest night. And then the emotional tumult he’d somehow managed to keep under a tight rein hit him. He strode into the shadows of the tall pine trees near the tent, seeking privacy, breathing hard, then leaned back against one of large trunks, and dragged a hand over his stinging eyes. The faint whisper of footfalls sounded against the brittle ground, and he tensed. But before he could reach for a 305


weapon, a rush of comfort surrounded him. “Keiran,” he breathed, as his mate’s cloaked form appeared before him, pulled him close, and warm lips pressed to his. Gaige clung to him, savoring the contact. “You know what happened?” he asked. “I saw and felt it.” Gaige figured as much. Keiran would have read it in his mind, complete with all the details and his emotions, probably before he ever even got here. Gaige was glad. Relieved he didn’t have to tell it all and go through it again. “How did you know I wished you were here?” Keiran’s lips moved up to brush against his brow, then resting his forehead against Gaige’s and cradling the back of Gaige’s head in his hand, he smiled. “You have to ask?” Gaige gave him a shaky smile. “No. But I’m glad you are here. It seems you keep having to come find me when I’m in need.” “I will always find you, Gaige.” The intensity in his words and glowing in his silver-gray eyes sent a surge of fierce love through Gaige, flooding through his veins and into his soul. “And I’ll always find you when you need me,” he said, his voice choked with emotion. “Always, Keiran.” “I know,” Keiran whispered against his lips, then sealed the vow with another kiss. “I need to feel you.” Keiran didn’t have to ask him what he meant. He reached down to jerk open Gaige’s pants, then his own, and in a swift 306


motion, pressed a hand against Gaige’s ass and brought their groins together. The feel of his hot prick against Gaige’s own tore a moan from Gaige…a desperate, guttural sound that uncoiled from his tightly wound core and spread into the night. Keiran’s mouth closed over his, swallowing it so they wouldn’t be heard. But that was Keiran’s only concession to the fact they were locked in a carnal embrace less than a dozen paces from several residential tents. The cloud cover was thick tonight, blocking the moons’ light, and the trees offered a thin veil of privacy, but someone could walk by at any time. Which didn’t seem to bother Keiran in the least. His tongue delved deeply into Gaige’s mouth, making no qualms about taking what was his. But as was Keiran’s way, also giving Gaige what he needed as well. His hand clenched against Gaige’s ass through his pants, but then slid down into them until his callused palm and strong fingers dug into bare skin and taut muscle, drawing an eager shudder from Gaige. Their hips thrust and ground, rolling their cocks together in a sensual torment that quickly had Gaige rock hard and ready to spew. Keiran suddenly dropped to his knees and buried his face against Gaige’s genitals. He grasped the base of Gaige’s cock and guided his long shaft into the scalding heat of his mouth. “Holy gods,” Gaige gasped in a gritty whisper. Keiran’s mouth sucked and pulled and licked and tasted, drawing Gaige’s prick in and out over and over until Gaige’s legs shook, and the dark forest spun around him. But it was 307


Keiran’s finger pushing up into his crease, finding his hole, and sliding into his depths that put him over the edge. His hips jerked, violent spasms tore through his shaft, and as his seed flooded into his lover’s mouth, Gaige poured out all his pent up emotions along with it. Keiran took it all, swallowed it all, softly moaning his satisfaction until the vibration left Gaige trembling. Keiran rose, licking his lips, and gave Gaige a slow, deep kiss that let Gaige taste his own cum in Keiran’s mouth… and made him want more. He pushed Keiran back a step, then sank to his knees. ::Make yourself come, then feed it to me.:: The wave of raw need that billowed off Keiran at his words almost knocked Gaige over. ::So damned sexy,:: Keiran murmured. ::Damn it, Gaige…I can’t think straight when I’m around you.:: ::You don’t have to think. Just get yourself off and let me watch.:: Keiran’s was already at work on his thick shaft, jerking and pulling at it, his legs spread for balance. The sight was so beautiful, so sensual Gaige felt himself growing hard again already. His mate’s hand moved faster, and low grunts escaped him. ::Now.:: The single word was all Gaige needed to hear. He leaned close and opened his mouth. Keiran guided his cock so the slit at the tip hovered just above Gaige’s parted lips. Not close enough to be inside, but close enough Gaige could lick out and 308


brush the smooth flesh of his lover’s crown. ::Oh…gods…oh…ahhhh!:: Hot spunk gushed from Keiran’s slit and splashed against Gaige’s tongue. The salty flavor, slick texture, and tingle of magick swirled over his taste buds and then down his throat to form a pleasant ball of heat in his belly. As Keiran fed him the next burst and the next, Gaige gulped with abandon. And when Keiran had squeezed out the last few drops, Gaige pulled his lover in closer, and, while he lightly fondled his balls, laved every inch of Keiran’s cock until it glistened in the muted firelight from the nearby tents. Keiran tasted and felt and smelled so good he could have kept at it for ages. But Keiran tugged him up and their mouths found each other again, this time in a lingering, sated—at least for the moment—kiss. ::Feel better, love?:: ::I do.:: Gaige really did. He no longer felt like he was floating and lost with no anchor. ::You always know just what I need.:: ::And what do you need now?:: ::I need you to take me back to our bed and show me some of the other ways you know to make me feel better.:: Keiran’s smile reached all the way to Gaige’s alreadyaching-again balls. ::Do you want to say your goodbyes here before we go?:: ::I already did. I’m all yours.:: ::Then let’s get you presentable for public view.:: His hands tucked Gaige’s prick back into his pants, pulled the 309


lacings closed, and tied them. ::A pity, though, since I’m going to have you back out of these in short order.:: Gaige had been working on Keiran’s at the same time and enjoyed taking one last stroke over his turgid crown before fastening his length back in its leather prison. ::It is a pity. We should have just held our cloaks closed and made a run for it.:: Keiran’s low chuckle brought a smile to his face. “We could still make a run for it,” Keiran suggested in a lascivious whisper. “Yeah, but it’d just be our luck that we’d end up with the entire camp chasing after us because they’ll think if we’re running, the sky must be falling or something equally dramatic.” “Good point.” Hand in hand, they set out at a brisk walk, sticking to the outside edge of the camp between the tents and the trees. “Seriously, are you doing okay?” Keiran asked, squeezing Gaige’s fingers gently between his. “I think so, yeah. I’m still having trouble wrapping my mind around all of it, but, yeah, I’m all right. Did you know about Iann?” “No. It shocked the hel out of me when I saw that whole scene in your mind. Iann’s always been very private about his personal life.” “Can you imagine what it must be like for the two of them…after a hundred years apart?” Keiran stopped in his tracks, grabbed fistfuls of Gaige’s 310


cloak at his chest, and pulled him into a blazing kiss. “No, I can’t imagine. I don’t want to imagine what it would be like to live so long without you.” Gaige’s insides twisted. “I know. That’s all I could think about in there, too.” The sound of frantic, running feet behind them separated them. Gaige’s first instinct was to draw a weapon, but they were in camp. It could be a civilian. His hand rested on the hilt of his vrieg, however, just in case… Keiran stood at alert also. “M’lords…sirs…is that you?” a young, gasping voice called from out of the night. Gaige didn’t immediately recognize the voice, but Keiran obviously did. His shoulders and back relaxed. “It’s Allend,” he said. Gaige took a breath of relief and let go of his vrieg. “We’re here, Allend.” Marta’s younger son appeared out of the darkness, his long, unruly yellow hair visible before anything else. Gaige made a mental note to remind the youth to keep the hood of his cloak up at night, especially if he should ever be outside the camp…his fair hair made him too easily visible to those who might be watching. Allend skidded to a stop in front of them. He was breathing so hard, he had to bend over at the waist and brace himself with his hands on his knees. The youth seemed to perpetually be on the run for one reason or another. “It’s all right. Catch your breath,” Keiran told him, settling a hand on the boy’s shoulder. 311


But Allend raised up and shook his shaggy head. “Can’t. Mum gave me strict orders. She said to bring you—m’lords and Iann—back right away. I found Iann already, and he told me he thought you’d be headed this way.” “What is it? What’s happened,” Gaige asked, fear stirring in his gut. “It’s Thomas, sir.” Keiran’s face darkened. “Oh, fires of hel…what’s he done?” “It, m’lord. He’s done it. He says he’s figured out the book.” Gaige and Keiran looked at each other, their combined shock mingling together, causing the hair on Gaige’s arms to stand on end. “Where is he?” Keiran asked. “At your tent, m’lord.” *

*

*

Iann was already there when they arrived, looking a bit frazzled, but otherwise giving no indication his world had just been turned upside down only a short while ago. Marta paced in front of the table, and Eliessán sat at the table, the picture of calm reserve as always. Wen looked like he’d just come in right before Gaige and Keiran. “Thomas, you have something for us?” Keiran said, wasting no time getting down to business. He’d been waiting for weeks for the human to unearth information from the sorcerer’s grimoire, had been forced to bite his tongue on a 312


daily basis to keep from lashing out at the man for how long it was taking. The human sat near the enormous stack of books and papers that had grown over the past weeks. His cheeks were pale and gaunt, and his short dark hair stood on end as if he’d been tearing at it with his hands. His fingers twitched in nervous movements over the open grimoire and a sheaf of papers in front of him. “I do,” he murmured. “Everyone, have a seat,” Keiran directed. He pulled off his cloak and hung it on a hook on one of the large wooden poles that held up the tent. Gaige did the same, and they all sat on the sturdy benches gathered around the table. “All right, let’s hear it.” “Well…” Thomas’s hand fluttered again over the papers. “It’s been a fascinating puzzle, this. Just trying to determine what the language itself was, was a challenge. It took me quite some time to figure it out.” “We know,” Keiran muttered.” Gaige put a calming hand on his knee, and Keiran took a deep breath. But Thomas didn’t even seem to notice Keiran’s frustration, since he rambled on without pause. “I didn’t recognize the language at first, but the more I studied it, the more I began to realize there were certain symbols or characters that were familiar. I spent days trying to determine what they could be, and believe me when I tell you it’s a messy business to try to find a reference to something like that. My research finally led me to the Codex of Grif’illean 313


Volume Two written by Agustiv Bittendia in the year three hundred seven. I don’t know if you’re familiar with Bittendia’s work, but it’s some of the most enlightened material from its time…brilliantly written. Many would say that Clauxia Mithender’s piece on the ancient worlds and how they relate to the issues of the time is more thorough, but I disagree—” “Thomas, while I’m sure all these scholarly works are enthralling …the point here?” Keiran growled. “Oh, yes, well, the point is that I finally found the symbols and from there was able to track them back to another even more ancient reference, and discovered that the language the sorcerer used in his grimoire was mok’illish.” “Mok’illish?” Wen said, rolling the unfamiliar, foreign sound over his tongue as if testing it. “What’s that?” “It’s the ancient language used by the very first inhabitants of Velensperia tens of thousands of years ago.” “I thought elves were the first inhabitants of Velensperia?” Marta said. Eliessán shook her head. “No, that’s often the assumption, but in fact when elves first came to these shores, a tribe of shadow-dwellers lived here, creatures half in this world and half in another, living in the darkest recesses of the land— deep in mountains, underground, in the shadows where none civilized would dare to go. It was said to meet with one of them meant certain death. Not unlike nyctophans. Some even believe the nyctophans are descendants of the old tribe, while others think they’re another race all together.” 314


Keiran had heard stories of the ancient race of shadowdwellers, but had thought them to be legends, horror stories children told one another, not based in reality. “Why would Byram have written his grimoire in a dead language that hasn’t been used in tens of thousands of years?” “Oh, it’s ancient to be sure.” Thomas nodded. “But far from dead.” “You just said you had to delve back into age-old codices and parchments to even find a reference to it,” Gaige said. “Sounds pretty dead to me.” “Don’t mistake ancient with being obsolete. The old languages still have power. Plenty of it, if one knows how to use them.” A flush of red spread up Marta’s cheeks. “Now you’re talking about it like the language itself has some preternatural quality to it.” “Doesn’t draega?” Thomas challenged. “Don’t you use the words of your own ancient language to build power, focus it? It’s the same with elvish, is it not, Eliessán?” The elf nodded. “It is.” “All right…so you’re saying Byram used this language of mok’illish to write his grimoire because it focuses his power? Why that language? What kind of power does this language offer him?” Keiran asked. “That’s…the part that’s alarming.” “Alarming how?” Thomas took a hard swallow and the slip-slide of the knot in his thin throat played out in slow motion. “Remember 315


Eliessán told you the shadow-dwellers lived half in this world and half in another? Well, the ‘other’ world”—his voice dropped to a hushed whisper—“was the realm of fire and torment.” “Sounds like hel,” Wen croaked, his face a shock of white. “It is. Or, at least it’s probably what the ancient priests used as the basis for what they thought hel would be like.” Gaige’s fingers on Keiran’s leg dug in hard, and Keiran felt fear ripple from his mate. He caught a flash of the dreams Gaige had had…of the fire surrounding Thrythgar, and of Keiran in pain and climbing a path in the dark with shadow and flame all around. ::You think this is what you’ve seen, m’aerlas?:: ::Maybe.:: “The shadow-dwellers were from that other world, and through it, wielded a power here in our world that made them invincible,” Thomas continued. “Though the elves finally sealed the passage between the two worlds, locking the shadow-dwellers’ physical presence out of Velensperia, there have been a few foolish individuals throughout time who’ve tried to tap into the dark powers the world has to offer.” “And what’s happened when they have?” Gaige asked in a hoarse voice. “Most have failed. But the few who’ve succeeded…their success has been short-lived. In the end, they’re taken.” “Taken by what?” Thomas, appearing visibly shaken, as if he dreaded what was to come, pulled a small, tattered leather tome over in front 316


of him and opened it to a page he’d marked with a slip of parchment. “Moh’dredion. Moh’dredion i’x moh’had xiradec. Moh’dredion i’x avalo cav’grudiak .” The guttural language prickled the hair on the back of Keiran’s neck and left him cold, as if the heat had suddenly been sucked from the room. He looked around at the others and found them pale and in various states of discomfort as well. “What do the words mean?” Keiran dreaded the answer. Felt Gaige’s dread as well. Thomas looked up, his eyes bleary, terrified. “It says, ‘Death. Death is watching. Death is coming.’” Gaige gave a soft, strangled moan next to him, and his mate’s distress turned Keiran’s veins to ice. ::M’aerlas?:: ::Death. Just like I felt in my dreams, Keiran. Just as my grandmother said.:: “So what does that mean? That any who try to tap into the power will die?” Keiran tried to keep his voice steady, calm…play the role of unruffled leader. But Gaige’s panic, so vibrant and alive coursing through him as if it were his own, and the cold chill invading the room made it hard to keep his own fear under tight control and not let it leak out to make things worse. “Yes. And no,” Thomas said. “The word ‘death’ here isn’t used as a term to describe a state of being. It’s personified. Death manifested in body and spirit.” “A being itself,” Gaige whispered. 317


“Like the angel of death,” Wen added, looking ill. “Yes. Those who try to use the ancient power of the shadow-dwellers are, in fact, using the powers of Death itself. It gave the shadow-dwellers invincibility, eternal life…as long as they gave in return.” “Gave what?” Iann asked, speaking up for the first time. “Life.” Marta frowned. “I don’t understand.” “The shadow-dwellers lived a half-life…with one foot in the realm of fire and torment, and one foot in this world. In this world they had the benefits of immortal life, extended strength, power over minds and bodies. But in order to have those benefits, they had to always give back some of that life to the force from whence their power sprang. They did that by choosing to live in both worlds, never able to take full form in this world because they were anchored in the other. “Those few who’ve tried to use the power since then have fallen because the minds and bodies of the beings who populate our world are too fragile to live that same half-life. They’re torn apart by the forces at work.” “So how is Byram using this power then? What’s preventing him from being torn apart?” “It took some time for me to translate his grimoire, and I haven’t finished it completely yet, but I do know how he’s managed to sustain the power as long as he has.” He paused as if he couldn’t bear to speak the rest. “What is it?” Keiran said. Thomas cleared his throat and twisted his fingers together. 318


“Byram’s sacrificing the draegan children to Death.” “What?” Marta’s voice was tight with fear. “In return for the power it offers, Death needs lives, or, more specifically, energy from live beings. Byram discovered that Death has a particular penchant for young lives. Strong young lives.” “Draegans instead of humans,” Keiran said, his insides churning. “Because draegans, as a race, are stronger, and have deep wells of magick and power within them.” “Yes. The sorcerer gives Death the children, and in return…he gets eternal life and untapped power. As long as he keeps his end of the bargain.” “As long as he keeps supplying children to this thing.” Marta’s eyes welled with tears. “Yes.” “My gods…that’s how he’s lived so long. Our children for his life.” Marta sounded as if she might be sick. Keiran rose from the table. His heart thrummed like a primitive drum, hard and deep and full of pain. “So we stop him. We take away his access to the younglings. Then he doesn’t have the proper tithe to pay and Death will take him.” “In theory, yes. But…” Thomas sounded as if he’d rather be anywhere but here right now. “But?” “But Death doesn’t have to have children. Byram discovered this entity prefers the young, but until Byram, Death drew energy from whomever tried to use the power— young, old, human, or whatever was available. Byram’s been 319


using the draegan children because they…well, I don’t mean to sound indelicate, but children give him the best powers because that’s what Death likes best.” “I still don’t understand why it wouldn’t work to cut off his supply of youngsters. Wouldn’t Death then take Byram and be done with it?” “Think of this way…for thousands and thousands of years this being, Death, has had limited supply of sustenance. He uses people from our world to draw energy, to feed his own strength. And like any being, he can live through tough times with meager fare if he must. Since the passage between the realms was closed, and he no longer had the constant source of energy from the shadow-dwellers, that’s what he’s done. He’s survived on the occasional soul who’s crossed his path…a starvation regime, by all measure. But then enter High Sorcerer Byram, who’s been giving him a steady diet of powerful, young energy, just what he likes best, for a hundred years. The children’s energy—” “Has been feeding him. Making him strong,” Gaige inserted. “Exactly. The sorcerer mentions in his grimoire that Death—he calls him by the ancient name, Moh’dredion—has become greedy over time, demanding more, making it ever more difficult for Byram to keep him supplied. Byram hints at the possibility of Moh’dredion eventually being strong enough to come forth from his realm on his own and take what he wants.” “Sweet heavenly gods,” Marta whispered, her hand at her 320


throat. “So what in hel do we do?” Wen asked. “How do we stop this.” “Kill Byram.” Gaige’s voice was low, urgent. “Kill Byram and the link between our world and this other place is severed.” “That’s the problem, you see…” Thomas thrust his shaking hands through his hair. “With Moh’dredion’s power behind him, the sorcerer is invincible. He can’t be killed.” Keiran scrubbed his palms over his face, then rubbed his eyes as a dull ache built in his head. “Eliessán, how did the elves force the shadow-dwellers back into their own realm and close the portal?” “It took ten thousand elf soldiers, all wielding the strongest magick, to overcome them,” she said quietly. “Ten thousand…” Marta’s voice shook. “We’d be lucky if there are a few hundred draegans left alive in all of Velensperia.” “But there’s only one sorcerer,” Keiran said firmly. “Not an entire race, like there were of the shadow-dwellers.” “There were only one hundred shadow-dwellers in all,” Eliessán interjected. “My gods.” Marta threw her hands up in the air. “It doesn’t matter.” Keiran shook his head, then rubbed his temples as the ache behind them grew. “There has to be a way. I refuse to believe there isn’t. And we’re damn well going to find it.” “Oh, gods,” Gaige whispered. “Keiran…” 321


At that moment, agony shot through Keiran, swallowing him whole, but the pain itself radiated from his head, which was now pounding. Oh, no… No. Not again. Afraid for his mate, Keiran turned to check on him. Gaige’s eyes were closed. His hands rose up to clutch his head, and he slumped off the bench and onto the floor. “Gaige!” Keiran sank down next to him, fighting against his own pain, which he now recognized as only being an echo of the much worse anguish his mate suffered. He pulled Gaige’s fair head into his lap. “Hang on, love. Hang on. Just try to breathe. It’ll pass.” Gods he hoped it would pass…the others always had. “Get him some water!” Out of the corner of his eye saw Wen respond. Gaige clutched at Keiran’s arms, clinging to him as if Keiran were his last link between this world and another. “I’m here, m’aerlas. I’m here…” “Dark…it’s so dark.” Gaige’s body tensed in a powerful convulsion, his back arching off the floor. “Oh, gods…Keiran,” he choked in a voice that didn’t even sound like his own, and then he collapsed in Keiran’s arms.

322


CHAPTER 17

Icy darkness swirled around Gaige, cutting through his skin and burrowing into his muscle and bone as he hurtled through the air at a speed that stole his breath. He saw a light ahead…a lone flicker in the black abyss. What was it? It grew closer…closer…until he realized it was a torch. A single torch, mounted on a stone wall. Gaige slammed to a stop, his booted feet on firm ground. He gasped for much needed air, and tried to place himself as the dizzying spin in his head cleared. With a sick rush of recognition, he knew where he was. Back in Byram’s torture chamber. The high sorcerer himself stood only a few paces away. 323


Fury rose in Gaige and without thinking, on pure instinct, he lunged…and nothing happened. What in hel? He tried again, felt his muscles contracting, his limbs responding, yet he continued to stay in the same place. He lifted a hand, felt the motion, but never saw it appear before his eyes where he was certain he’d brought it. It was if his body, his real body, didn’t exist in this place…it was all pure thought. And then he heard the screams—deep throaty screams that tore through him, curdling his blood, and bringing tears unbidden to his eyes. His gaze flew to the large, muscular body stretched and chained between the stone pillars Gaige still remembered all too well. Who? Who was Byram torturing this time? Long black braids fell down the victim’s powerful but whip-shredded back. Recognition hit. Jax. Oh, gods…Byram had captured Jax. Gaige couldn’t see the prisoner’s face, only his backside. But he had no doubts it was the fierce draegan. “You know I can make all this pain go away,” Byram said in that smooth, calculating voice that sent a chill up Gaige’s spine. “All you have to do is agree.” “Never,” Jax growled. “Now, now…no reason to be testy. Your people threw you out, my friend. You were no longer wanted. Banished from the very camp you’d always fought so hard to protect, by the very 324


man you’d always called friend. All so he could take up with his treacherous half-breed lover. Why in the names of all your meager gods would you want to protect them? What have they done for you?” “You don’t know anything about me.” “I know that if I continue to inject my potion under your skin you won’t be able to shift into your winged form. And that’s what you want, isn’t it? You want to shift and then tear me down. But that’s not going to happen. And the longer I give it to you, the less chance you’ll have of ever fully recovering and being able to take wing again. You’re stuck in the human form you hate so very much, forced to endure whatever pleasures I wish to give you. Think hard about it, my friend. Your fate is in your very own hands. Talk to me now and I put away my potion and all my toys.” “You can do what you want to me, but you’ll get nothing, you fucking bastard. You hear me?” Jax shouted. “Nothing!” He jerked at the chains, his muscles bunching and flexing. Byram moved around to face Jax, and from Gaige’s perspective it appeared as if the sorcerer could look right at Gaige. His breath caught and his heart pounded. He tried to move away…but again couldn’t. Byram gave no indication he could see him, though. His gaze was fixed on Jax, a thin-lipped smile curving his lips. Byram held up a knife as if admiring it. Its thin, silver blade glistened in the torchlight. Blood covered the tip, making Gaige’s stomach churn. He knew exactly what kind of things the sorcerer could do with that knife. His own scars 325


seemed to thrum with pain in response. “Oh, I think you’ll change your tune, my passionate friend.” The sorcerer lowered his hand to regions where Gaige couldn’t see—but he could imagine all too well—and Jax’s body began to shudder. Sputtered cries escaped the big draegan’s mouth. Cries that, though Gaige would never have believed he could feel this way, made his heart hurt for the draegan. “Yes,” Byram said in the silky voice that hid a snake underneath, “I think soon enough you’ll be begging me, and you’ll be willing to do whatever I want you to do. And, oh, I do look forward to that day. Once my trusted spy gets me the information I need, you, my big, beautiful beast, are going to help me finish the draegans and all their little human friends once and for all.” A painful tug at Gaige’s midsection sent him rushing through the frigid darkness again without warning. No! Tears stung his eyes at the icy needles that cut through every part of him. Until…a sudden shift took place, and with a quickness that left him reeling, heat replaced the cold, building behind him. Not a comforting heat like the kind he craved to warm his frozen body—no, this was as if a dark furnace blast had just been unleashed. Its flame licked into his back, melting away his clothing and searing his skin. From the depths of the blackness came a terror so intense he screamed. It whirled around him, filling his eyes, nose, and mouth, sliding down his throat, choking 326


him, and then seeping into his veins, poison. Fire and torment. Death. Death had found him. Gaige knew he was dying…trapped somewhere in time and space between his own world and the world of his visions. No air. No light. His skin curling as the flames took him. Dying. ::Keiran, help me!:: The torture stopped suddenly, and Gaige hung, paralyzed in the silence of nothing. Was this it? Was this what came after the body had died? Then, with a force he was certain would tear the last shreds of skin from his bone, he was hurtling again, plunging down, down. And he wasn’t alone. With a jolt of fiery agony, he hit the ground. Sensation ripped through him, air filled his lungs, his heart began to beat with a brutal shudder, and blinding agony pounded in his head. His eyes flew open, squeezed shut against the glaring light after being in the dark for so long, then opened again when he realized Keiran’s face hovered just above his own. “Gaige…” Keiran’s strong arms enfolded him. “You were out so long, you were so cold and then so hot. I thought I’d lost you.” Gaige brought a hand up to press against his throbbing eye sockets and tried to sit up. He managed it with Keiran’s help. “Jax,” Gaige croaked, his voice sounding and feeling like 327


it hadn’t been used in weeks. “Byram has Jax. In his dungeon.” Keiran’s eyes widened. “You know for sure?” “I saw him. Byram’s torturing him to get to us. But, Keiran…that’s not all.” His body began to shake as he relived the terror he’d just experienced…how long had he been gone? A short while? Hours? Marta knelt next to him and offered him a mug of water, and Gaige realized the others were there still, too, all watching him in confusion and worry. Gaige pushed the mug away. “I saw it. Felt it. We have to get out of here.” “Saw and felt what, love?” “Death.” He tried to scramble to his feet, but his legs wouldn’t cooperate. “It’s coming… I think it’s…” Ice and fire flooded through him, confirming his deepest fear… Death had followed him through the void. “Oh, gods…it’s here.” The ground began to tremble. Wide-eyed, Marta stood. “What’s happening?” “I told you,” Gaige whispered, unable to find air to say more. Keiran helped pull Gaige to his feet and clamped an arm around his waist. “I’ve got you, m’aerlas.” “Keiran…go. Get out of here. All of you. I think…I think it wants me.” I brought it here, showed it the way. “Well, it’s not getting you!” Keiran growled. Books and papers fell off the table. The tent poles swayed. 328


“Go!” Gaige tried to shout, but his whispered cry couldn’t be heard over the sound of things toppling to the ground. Keiran resolutely refused to let go of him, and attempted several steps toward the tent opening. The others were trying to do the same, but each tremor of the ground stole their footing, leaving them staggering and falling without making any headway. Heat blazed through the tent, scorching Gaige’s lungs. Gaige knew what came next and tried to prepare himself for it…but when it hit, the terror was just as intense as it had been before and there was no place to hide from it. He heard screaming. Not his this time—the others’. Keiran seemed to be the only one able to hold the terror at bay. He pushed Gaige to the ground and stood over him in a protective stance. The air around him began to shimmer. Oh, gods…he’s going to shift. He’s going to get us out of here. Hope flared in Gaige. But before Keiran could complete the transformation, with a whoosh of wind, a rent in the very fabric of space opened, and a great dark hole hovered in the air, as tall as the tent ceiling, and filling most of the large room. In the back of his mind, Gaige knew Keiran wouldn’t be able to shift now. The churning black hole took up too much space and Keiran’s winged form would be pulled into it. No…no! Once again Gaige found himself paralyzed, unable to move his limbs…only able to stare in horror as a form made from shadow and flame filled the opening. 329


Death. The same dark, poisonous essence Gaige had experienced before flowed through him, into him, choked him with its toxic venom. It’s me you’re after, he tried to say. I know you followed me here, know you want to finish what you started. Take me…just please spare the others. But no words formed on his tongue. The being had stolen his speech as well. “DRAEGAN LORD.” The voice, if it could be called that, boomed through the tent, sending agony through all Gaige’s nerve endings. He wanted to cover his ears, crawl into the ground, and hide from the torment, but couldn’t. Keiran stood tall, unflinching, the air around him continuing to glimmer with power—the only one of them still on his feet, Gaige realized. He was shocked further when Keiran spoke. “Moh’dredion.” Keiran’s voice was deep and strong. “You have no place here.” “I’M WHEREVER I CHOOSE TO BE.” “You don’t belong in this world. Go back to your shadows. You’ll get nothing else from us.” “I TAKE WHAT I PLEASE. I’VE COME FOR YOU.” No. Seething fury built in Gaige at the being’s words. It tore through him like a storm, engulfing him, then forcing out the poison that held him hostage. “No!” his voice broke through the barrier, thundering out 330


of him in a defiant rumble. “You can’t have him!” The being’s head whipped around, and Gaige felt the dark pits where eyes should have been boring into him, as flame scoured the air around him. “YOU WOULD OFFER YOURSELF IN HIS PLACE?” Gaige dragged himself to his feet and faced the creature. “Yes.” ::Gaige, no!:: Keiran turned to look at him, anger and fear pulsing off him. ::Yes, Keiran. Our people need you..:: ::No, damn it. I’m not letting anything happen to you!:: He held up a hand. His silver-gray eyes softened with apology. ::I’m sorry, love.:: His hand gave a subtle push in mid-air… …and Gaige was forcibly thrown backward by an invisible power. He hit the hard ground with a bone-jarring thud. Shaking, Gaige rolled to his knees and stared at his mate, hurt and anger surging through his veins. ::Damn it, what in hel was that?:: ::I’m not letting anything happen to you,:: Keiran said again, his expression fierce. Gaige staggered to his feet and leapt forward…but ran into an invisible wall that nearly threw him backward again. “Keiran, gods damn it!” Keiran shook his head, then swept his hand around the room, building the same protective shield around the others as well, blocking all of them from himself and the entity. “I won’t lose any of you.” Gaige saw Marta and Iann stagger to their feet and try to 331


free themselves, but they were as trapped as he. “Damn it!” Gaige shouted. He turned his fury on the being. “You take me, you hear me? I’m the one! Take me!” “YOU DON’T HAVE WHAT I NEED, HALFLING. NOT YET.” “He doesn’t have what you need ever. Now begone from here!” Keiran seemed to grow taller and the air shimmered brighter in sparkles of silver and white. He faced the creature with a regal disdain that made Gaige’s throat ache. “I TAKE WHAT I PLEASE,” the being said again. “AND TODAY…I TAKE YOU, DRAEGAN LORD.” The dark, flaming shadow lunged at Keiran. At the same time, Keiran spoke something in draega, words that pulsed with power, and from his outstretched hands, a visible silver shield that looked like draegan wings filled the air between him and Death. Death surged against it and a fiery blast of flame licked at it with a vengeance. Keiran staggered under the siege. “Keiran! Damn it…Keiran!” Gaige pounded on the invisible barrier that kept him from his mate, a wall that couldn’t be seen, but felt like solid stone beneath his hands. “Get me out of here and let me help you!” But his mate didn’t respond. All his energy was focused on keeping up the barrier. “Please!” Gaige begged, terror swelling in him until he thought his heart would explode. ::Keiran…gods, please…:: 332


Keiran finally looked at him, his faced strained as the weight of Death bore down on him, slowly crushing the shield. ::Take care of the others, m’aerlas.:: His voice sounded far away in Gaige’s head. ::No, damn it, that’s your job. Let me out, let me help you. We’re stronger together!:: ::Take care of them. Take care of yourself.:: He smiled then, and his eyes were filled with so much love it ripped the last shreds of dignity from Gaige. Tears slid down Gaige’s face, unchecked. ::No, I need you. We need you. Please…I can’t lose you!:: ::I’ll love you with my last breath, Gaige.:: And then Keiran’s winged shield was gone, and shadow and flame swarmed over him. “No! Gods, I love you, too! Hang on…just hang on! ” But it was too late. In the beat of a heart, Keiran and Death were gone, sucked into the hole with a rumbling whoosh. The air sizzled and popped, and then the hole, too, disappeared. Gaige was left staring at empty space. “Keiran!” he shouted. ::Gods, Keiran, answer me.:: He heard and felt nothing. Keiran’s presence, in all its many aspects, was gone. Gaige sank to his knees, his arms limp at his sides, his body wracked with a trembling he couldn’t control. Marta, her breath hitching in deep sobs, crawled over to him and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into her embrace. 333


Gaige let her hold him and, after time, even managed to raise his arms to wrap around her to comfort her. But inside…emptiness consumed him. He felt nothing except the godsawful tight band around his chest and the cavernous void at his center. Take care of the others, m’aerlas. Feeling as if he moved in a fog, Gaige’s gaze found Iann, sinking onto a bench at the table, his face gray with grief. Wen rubbing at scrapes on his hands and staring blankly through damp, glistening eyes at the small fire that still burned in the pit. Thomas weeping quietly, curled into a ball on his side near the door. And Eliessán standing true and beautiful as always, but for the first time ever, Gaige saw her in a moment of exposed emotion, her elegant features twisted in a mask of sorrow. You have to move. You have to take care of the others. “Is everyone all right?” he heard himself ask Assorted nods and sniffled affirmatives greeted his query. Except for Wen. Who turned from the fire just as a tear slid down his cheek, glittering in the firelight. He swiped it away with a restless motion. “No. I’m not all right. You’re not all right,” he said to Gaige. “None of us are. What are we supposed to do now?” Take care of the others. Keiran’s words hung in Gaige’s mind. But he didn’t know how to answer Wen. Didn’t know what to say or do. It was Iann who responded. “We go on. Keep fighting. And we give our allegiance to our new lord and support him 334


however we can.” Wen nodded, and Marta rose to her feet, nodding as well and wiping at her eyes. “New lord?” Gaige was unable to imagine anyone but Keiran bearing that title. How could the others dismiss Keiran so easily and so quickly? Iann rose on creaking legs, and moved to stand in front of Gaige. He offered his hand, and when Gaige slowly reached out for it, the old draegan pulled him to his feet. He settled a hand on Gaige’s shoulder. “I know the events of this night have left us all raw, you most of all. You’ve not just lost your lord, you’ve lost your lover, your true mate.” “Don’t,” Gaige said, his voice sharp, but he didn’t care. “Don’t talk about him like he’s dead. He’s not. He’s still alive somewhere.” Iann nodded, his body language patient, but his eyes reflected grief. “Even if…” Gaige glared at him, daring him to say it. The old draegan didn’t back down. “Even if he’s alive— and I believe you believe he is—he’s not here. At this time of war, we can’t be leaderless. It’s more important than ever that we have a strong lord to guide us. We need you.” “What are you saying?” Gaige asked, so dead inside he wasn’t sure if his brain was even functioning. “I’m no lord.” “Oh, gods…he never told you?” Marta asked softly. Gaige felt as if they were talking in circles. “Never told me what?” “What Iann’s saying is that when a draegan lord is true335


mated, if something should happen to the lord, rule automatically falls to his or her mate. That’s why the lord’s power passes to his or her mate when they join. That’s why your title is also ‘Lord.’ You’re the new leader of the draegans, Gaige.” The bottom fell out of Gaige’s stomach. “What?” he whispered. “When the people have called me ‘lord’ I thought that was just an honorific because I was mated to Keiran.” “No, they call you that because the moment you truemated with Keiran, you became a lord in your own right.” “But…” He grasped for something, anything that might make sense. “Isn’t the high council supposed to choose a new ruler?” “In the old days, when there was a high council, they did,” Iann said. “But it was a formality. They didn’t really select the leader, they just gave their nods of approval to him or her…whomever had draegan lord blood and was next in line.” “But…” Gaige grasped the edge of the table to steady himself. “I’m not even a full draegan. I’m half-human. I…I can’t do this.” “You’ve been trained your entire life to be a leader. Everything you’ve done has prepared you for this,” Iann said. Marta took his hands in hers. “There’s no one Keiran trusted more than you, Gaige.” “Trusts,” Gaige said fiercely. “Trusts…not trusted. He’s not dead, damn it.” His hand slid up to cover the elorium band around his arm, taking comfort, small though it was, that the bracelet was still fastened, still in place. “I would know.” 336


Marta’s pale green eyes were awash with sorrow and empathy. “Trusts,” she agreed. Gaige looked at Iann, numb to the bone, and as barren and cold as the Great Plain in the dead of winter. “I can’t do this,” he whispered. “You know my history, what I was. You can’t possibly consider trusting the fate of the draegan race, and a whole lot of humans as well, to me of all people.” Iann’s hand, still on his shoulder, squeezed. “Yes, you can do this. And, yes, I know I speak for everyone in this room when I say we trust you. You’re a good man, Gaige Rizik Albioneson. A man I couldn’t be prouder of if you were of my own blood. I will support you with my life.” Iann drew his sword and pressed the hilt of it against his heart, then bowed his head. Gaige’s throat closed up at the oath of fealty. “Iann…” But before he could speak further, Marta had drawn her blade and done the same, followed by Wen. But what nearly ripped him in two was when Eliessán pulled her long knife from her belt and held it to her breast, and then Thomas, standing now, and stiff sniffling, but with an expression of stark sobriety, lifted one of his treasured books from the floor and pressed it to his heart. Gaige struggled to find words. He wanted to tell them all, “No, don’t do this.” Yet he couldn’t. They’d offered their allegiance of their own free wills. His gaze settled on Eliessán and Thomas, the two who troubled him most. “You two…you aren’t even draegan. You’re not bound to serve me”—he swept a hand around to 337


encompass the others—“or any of us, in any way.” “You’ve saved my life,” Thomas said, “given me purpose when I thought I’d lost it, and I’ve never known anyone braver. I stand by my decision…I will support you in any way I can.” “And I give my allegiance to whom I choose.” Eliessán stood with her hands folded behind her back, her bearing almost aristocratic. “I gave it to Hareldson when he saved my life, not because the laws of elfkind insisted I should—had I cared what the rules of my people thought, I wouldn’t have been exiled from them in the first place—but because I wanted to. Because he is an honorable being and he offered me his protection when he didn’t have to. I give it to you for the same reasons, Gaige Albioneson. You have proven to have a true and noble heart. I’m honored to serve you.” Gaige gave them all a pleading look. “I can’t shift. Without Keiran I can’t fly. I won’t be able to see the nets or lead the draegans properly.” Wen stepped forward. “Not so. I’d be proud to bear you whenever and wherever you need to go, m’lord.” Marta pressed her eldest son’s shoulder, pride shining in her eyes. “Wen…” Gaige wanted to protest, but again found himself at a loss for words. Draegans weren’t beasts of burden. They weren’t made to have riders on their proud backs. With Keiran it was different…Keiran was his mate and riding him was, well, different. Wen offering to bear Gaige was above and beyond anything the young draegan—any of the draegans— 338


should have to do. “Marta?” He hoped she’d understand and help him out in his predicament. She shook her head. Her green eyes focused on Gaige with gentle understanding, but also a hint of firmness. “Take what’s offered, Gaige. It’s an honor for him and he wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t want to do it.” Gaige sighed. He looked at Wen and nodded. “Thank you. Thank you all. I’m…” He forced a deep breath into his lungs. Gods…how could he accept this enormous responsibility? Take care of the others. He closed his eyes and rubbed them between his thumb and forefinger. You’ll accept this responsibility because it what’s Keiran wanted you to do. He knew this would happen. He’d expect you to go on fighting, to lead these people—your people—to keep them safe. Knowing his fate had already been decided, Gaige accepted that further denial would be useless. If Keiran trusted him to do this, then he’d damn well do it. Though his fears and the challenges seemed insurmountable, he’d protect the draegans and humans with his life if that’s what was required. For you. I’ll do it for you, Keiran. He straightened his shoulders. Taking a deep breath, Gaige forced himself to focus on what needed to be done. “All right then. But I’m making it clear up front that we’re 339


going after Keiran. He’s alive. I’ve seen it in the dreams and visions I’ve had. We’re going to find him and bring him home. Anyone who doesn’t believe that wholeheartedly should leave now. Because we don’t have time for nay-saying.” No one moved. “Good. We’re also going to get Jax back.” “He betrayed us to Byram!” Wen protested. “And might very well have been how Death knew where to find Keiran,” Marta added. Gaige swallowed hard. No, he was the reason Death had come here, the reason Keiran was gone. He’d led it right to Keiran, and he alone got to live with that knowledge and the guilt that came with it. “Jax didn’t betray us.” The draegan’s screams still echoed in Gaige’s head. “He would never, not even under the worst torture, betray the draegans to Byram. To anyone. He would take our secrets to his grave.” “He tried to kill you, Gaige,” Iann reminded him. “And Keiran.” Gaige dragged in a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter. He’s a draegan and we will not stand by and let Byram torture one of our own ever again.” Iann nodded, pride and respect glittering in his eyes. “But first things first. We’re evacuating the camp.” “And going where?” Wen asked. “To Kellesborne. Jax didn’t betray us, but someone else did. When I had the vision about Jax in the dungeon, Byram 340


specifically mentioned he had a trusted spy, and implied it was someone who could infiltrate us. Between that and the fact Death knows where we are, we’re no longer safe here. At Kellesborne, the magick’s old, powerful, and the protective shields extend for leagues around it.” “He’s right,” Iann said. “And only those with draegan blood can find it. We can take the humans there”—he nodded to Thomas, who looked torn between abject terror and wild elation at getting the chance to go to a place of legend—“but should any humans leave, the magick of the castle muddles their minds. Almost as soon as they leave its protective boundary, they can’t remember where it is or if it even really exists. They don’t know what they’re doing up in the mountains, and by the time they get down the mountain, they’ve forgotten it completely. Our spy could be human or draegan, but if he or she is human, they won’t be able to lead anyone else to the castle. And if the spy is draegan, there’s much more built in security there than we could ever hope to have here.” “The journey there will be difficult,” Marta cautioned. “Troops are heavy.” “Yes, they are and it will be,” Gaige said. “But we have enough trained fighters now to help with protection. It will take some planning, but we’ll get everyone there. Marta, I want you to coordinate the evacuation. You’re in charge. Make it happen however you have to. Tell people only to bring what they really need, and let them know we’re going to 341


begin heading out in small groups tomorrow evening at dark. You’ll also need to see that we have supplies enough to feed everyone in camp for two weeks. Keep enough aside for the journey to the mountains. The rest we’ll fly to Kellesborne to tide us over until we have a chance to gather more once we’re there.” Marta nodded. “Iann, I need you to be my eyes and ears. You’ve been around the longest, know the most people in the camp. I’m putting you in charge of intelligence…both ours and finding out what Byram knows. The first priority is finding the spy.” “It’ll be done.” “Wen, I’m promoting you to full lieutenant and putting you in charge of the draeganjhere, both the existing members and the new recruits.” The young draegan’s mouth fell open. “You’ll need to work closely with Iann to coordinate security. It’s not going to be easy to move this many people. It’s going to take careful planning. Planning that we don’t have time to dawdle over. I’ll want to see what you’ve come up with first thing in the morning.” “Yes, m’lord. I won’t let you down.” “I know you won’t.” Gaige turned to the human. “Thomas, your job is to keep at that grimoire. Finish translating it, see what else you can uncover about Byram and his plans. We also need as much information as we can get about the realm of the shadow-dwellers. Once we get to Kellesborne, I’ll see 342


that you have full access to the library there. I suspect you’ll find anything you might need on its shelves.” Thomas eyes bulged at the prospect of a full library at his disposal. “Yes, of course. I’ll do everything I can to help.” “Good. And Eliessán, I have a special assignment for you.” “What about him?” She nodded toward Thomas. “I don’t believe he requires a watcher any longer. He’s not going anywhere. Are you, Thomas?” The human shook his head so hard it would have been comical if Gaige weren’t so dead inside. “No, m’lord. Absolutely not anywhere, unless you want me to.” “I’ll assign one of the younger members of the draeganjhere to you for protection, Thomas. But understand it’s not because I don’t trust you. I just don’t want anything to happen to you. You’re our most valuable resource right now.” The man looked taken aback at the compliment. “I understand, m’lord.” Gaige returned his attention to the elf. “Eliessán, I suspect you can go places and see and hear things others cannot. I want you to find out where the portal is between our world and the other, the one the elves closed so long ago.” “You plan to open it and go through?” He heard no censure in her tone…it was a factual query. But he had to wonder what she was really thinking inside. “I don’t know yet. I want to explore every possibility, leave every option open. I’ll do whatever we have to to get 343


Keiran back.” He met her steady gaze with one of his own. He knew she was remembering the conversation they’d had the night near the Zekklesian. He hadn’t forgotten her warning that one day he’d have to make a choice. It had churned in his gut ever since. But if he had to choose between facing a lifetime without the man he loved, and risking everything to save him…well, there was no choice. He’d go to hel if that’s what was required to find his mate. “I’ll leave right away.” Gaige let out the breath he’d been holding. “Thank you.” He looked around at the gathered group and steeled himself against the empty hole in his core at Keiran’s absence. “We will not let Byram sweep us, any of us—draegan, human, elfkind, or any other being in this land—away like dust under a rug. We know the source of his strength now. That gives us more power over him than he could realize. We’re going to get our people to safety. Then we’re going to strike hard and fast with no mercy, and take back what’s ours.” He drew in a deep breath. “Any questions?” “None, m’lord,” Wen said, his body tall and straight, his voice deeper and stronger than Gaige had ever heard it. The others shook their heads. “All right then. We have jobs to do. Let’s get busy.” As the others set about their work, Gaige slipped out of the tent, seeking a few minutes of solace. Solace he knew he wouldn’t find. Not here. Not at Kellesborne either. The gaping 344


chasm inside him was a live thing, already devouring him from the inside out. There’d be no peace for him until Keiran was once again at his side. He’d meant what he said to Eliessán. He’d do whatever it took to get Keiran back. Even if it means risking the lives of the entire draegan race? The lives of the other people you’ve come to care about? Your grandmother, Iann, Marta, her sons? The bleak and weighty reality of his position settled on his shoulders. There had to be a way. There would be a way to save them all. He couldn’t think otherwise. And what if Keiran’s really gone? What if he’s dead? A knifing ache speared through his lungs and heart, cleaving them in two. His chest heaved with the need to shout and sob his outrage and hurt and fear, but his eyes remained dry, and no sound escaped the depths of his hollow core. He reached up to run his fingers over the warm, metal armband that still enclosed his bicep beneath his shirt. Keiran had said the bands were permanent and would stay in place until the true mates wearing them died. Gaige had to believe that as long as his band stayed on his arm, it meant Keiran was alive. He didn’t know if that was the case, but damn it, he had to believe it. It gave him a hope to cling to. That, and the dreams that, though terrifying, showed Keiran alive, climbing the path in the darkness. He reached out with his mind and senses, hoping to feel 345


something. Some remnant of his mate’s essence, some tiny flicker of life or even a thought that would give him an anchor. But he found nothing. Just silence. And a cold that ate into his soul. ::I’ll find you, beloved. Whatever choices I have to make, whatever the cost…I’ll find you.::

(To Be Continued In Fires Of Ballian Coming Soon From Amber Allure!)

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M. L. R HODES Award-winning and bestselling author M. L. Rhodes has been writing for a living for nearly thirteen years. Along with the erotic romance fiction she currently pens for Amber Quill Press, she’s also published everything from poetry, to magazine articles, to traditional romance, to steamy romantic suspense novels. In her fiction works, her characterization and emotional storytelling have received high critical acclaim from such places as Romantic Times Magazine, The Romance Studio, and JERR and have garnered her numerous awards in the writing industry. In her man-love stories, she enjoys pairing together strong, independent heroes who are open to exploring both their sexuality and their emotions. Men fall in love with one another every day, and M. L. believes in celebrating that. If you’d like to keep up with what’s going on in M. L.’s world and find out about her new and upcoming releases, surf on over to her website at www.mlrhodeswriting.com. She also loves hearing from readers. You can reach her at [email protected].

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Don’t miss True Of Heart [Book I of The Draegan Lords], by M. L. Rhodes, available at Amber-Allure.com!

A hundred years ago, the high sorcerer of Velensperia launched a swift and deadly attack against the draegans—a race of dragon shapeshifters who’d always lived in harmony with the humans. The draegans were all but destroyed, with the few who remained scattered and in hiding. Now, a group of them have united and begun to fight back. Their leader, Keiran Hareldson, seeks to free his people from the cruel repression the high sorcerer’s reign has imposed on them. Gaige Rizik is captain of the sorcerer’s High Guard, and known for his lethal ability to hunt down his prey with no remorse. His orders are to infiltrate the draegan rebels’ camp, learn their plans, and identify their leader so he can be destroyed. But when Gaige joins the rebels, posing as a human sympathizer to the draegans’ cause, he discovers the shapeshifters aren’t the bloodthirsty beasts he’s been led to believe, and their leader is a passionately captivating man who only wants what’s best for his people. Keiran sparks powerful emotions in Gaige, tearing down his walls of steely control, and stirring a longing in him he can’t deny. Torn between his duty to the high sorcerer and his growing feelings not only for Keiran, but for the draegan way of life, Gaige knows he’s damned no matter which side he chooses. In

a world of lies, deception, and dark secrets, one false move will bring destruction to all he’s begun to hold dear. With the fate of so many lives on his shoulders, Gaige’s only hope is to follow his heart…and pray it’s true enough to save them all.

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