Legacy of the Bear

Legacy of the Bear by Lori K Johnson Mundania Press LLC www.mundania.com Copyright ©2011 by Lori K. Johnson First pub...

Author: Johnson Lori K

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Legacy of the Bear by Lori K Johnson

Mundania Press LLC www.mundania.com

Copyright ©2011 by Lori K. Johnson First published in 2011, 2011 NOTICE: This eBook is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution to any person via email, floppy disk, network, print out, or any other means is a violation of International copyright law and subjects the violator to severe fines and/or imprisonment. This notice overrides the Adobe Reader permissions which are erroneous. This eBook cannot be legally lent or given to others. This eBook is displayed using 100% recycled electrons.

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CONTENTS Published by Mundania Press Legacy of the Bear Dedication Prologue Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-One Chapter Twenty-Two 3


Chapter Twenty-Three Chapter Twenty-Four Chapter Twenty-Five Chapter Twenty-Six Chapter Twenty-Seven Chapter Twenty-Eight Chapter Twenty-Nine Chapter Thirty Chapter Thirty-One Chapter Thirty-Two Chapter Thirty-Three Chapter Thirty-Four Chapter Thirty-Five Chapter Thirty-Six Chapter Thirty-Seven About the Author ****

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**** Legacy of the Bear Bearwalker Trilogy Book 3 **** Lori K. Johnson

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Published by Mundania Press Also by Lori K. Johnson People of the Bear Heart of the Bear **** www.Mundania.com [Back to Table of Contents]

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Legacy of the Bear Copyright (C) 2011 by Lori K. Johnson ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Edited by Lourenza Adlem Cover Art (C) 2011 by Niki Browning **** First Edition November 2011 ISBN-13: 978-1-60659-279-3 **** Published by: Mundania Press 6457 Glenway Ave., #109 Cincinnati, OH 45211 All rights reserved under the International and PanAmerican Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher, Mundania Press LLC, 6457 Glenway Avenue, #109, Cincinnati, Ohio 45211, [email protected]. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is 7


entirely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content. No part of this book may be scanned, uploaded or distributed via the Internet or any other means, electronic or print, without permission from Mundania Press LLC. Warning: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000. (www.fbi.gov/ipr/). Please purchase only authorized electronic or print editions and do not participate in or encourage the electronic piracy of copyrighted material. Your support of the author's rights and livelihood is appreciated. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Dedication **** to my husband Steve and my daughter Kate the loves of my life **** To those who have made the Bearwalker series possible: **** my family, for your love and support my publisher & editors at Mundania Press, for your expertise and excellence my friend Dee, for giving me the time to write my books my readers, for your kind words and God, from whom all blessings flow Thank You [Back to Table of Contents]

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Prologue **** Christmas Eve Thick, white flakes of snow swirled in sweeping arcs as if inside a newly shaken snow globe. Through the circle of light cast by the back porch bulb, soft white crystals shimmered, beckoning. It was the perfect kind of snow for a romantic evening walk through a wintery forest. If only... Lindy Anderson took another sip of wine and sighed. What was the saying? So close and yet so far? She set the glass on the kitchen table and walked to the door of the guest bedroom. Just as she had every night for the last two months, she turned the knob and swung the door open a crack. Pale light fell in a solitary beam to penetrate the darkness of the room. The illumination fell across his body on the bed; he was motionless but for the shallow rise and fall of his chest. He slept deeply, on the edge of unconsciousness, and unaware of life going on around him. Unaware of her life. What should have been their life. It was so unfair. Instead of sharing their first winter together, he had succumbed to the forces of nature that ruled the creatures in this northern wilderness and sunken into the sleep of bears. "Oh Marin," she whispered. "I had such high hopes..." Her thoughts drifted back to that autumn day when he had pulled her onto his lap and confessed the truth that he'd kept hidden 10


from her. Though he was part human and it made his manbody strong, his true nature, his true body, was a bear, and it was stronger. It was ironic that after so much struggle to understand and accept his humanity, nature had forced it down and buried it deep beneath the force that demanded hibernation. Marin growled softly in his sleep, drawing her attention back to his slumbering form. His eyelids flickered briefly and his lips drew back, revealing gleaming white canines. Beneath the blanket, his massive paw twitched as if tickled by some unseen thing. He was a huge bear, but nestled as he was beneath layers of covers, he seemed so benign and helpless. "Are you dreaming, Marin? Or is it a nightmare haunting your sleep?" He certainly had enough reason to have nightmares. He had been kidnapped and beaten, tormented by the truth of his impure ancestry, and then threatened by an intruder who had forced him from his own clan. Even now, when peace had been restored and his kin had begged for his guardianship once again, he faced the daunting task of finding another clan to merge with his own and restore their dwindling numbers. God only knew what problems that would bring to him. And to her. Lindy's hand rose to her chest to trace the outline of the wooden medallion hidden beneath her sweater. Though it weighed only ounces, it carried the weight of an entire race's survival. The Bearwalkers were increasingly threatened, not only by human poachers and by the encroachment of human civilization on their forest, but occasionally by members of their own kind, too. The medallion was a symbol of the 11


Protectors, the humans who knew about the mysterious shape shifters, and who had sworn to protect them. It was a promise that meant more to her than anything else in her life. Anything except for Marin. She gazed fondly at the sleeping form, remembering the feel of his human body as he had cradled her in his arms. When she had taken him in after his clan cast him out, he'd adapted to human ways remarkably well. The hesitation and anxiety he'd felt quickly faded away, as had his fear of intimacy with her. For the first time in his life, he'd experienced love and sex in his man-body and discovered that it was so much more than he could have dreamed. She knew then that his heart belonged to her, yet the truth remained that his soul would forever belong to his clan. Though she hated sharing him with the other Bearwalkers, it was a sacrifice she knew she must accept to keep him in her life. She would do anything for this beloved man, and make any sacrifice. But something more troubling loomed before them still, and she had no idea how to face it. For as much as she loved him and accepted his bear nature, the question remained: how would they build a life together when his world lay in the wilderness and hers was here? She sighed heavily and softly closed the door. "We'll find a way, my love," she whispered. "We'll find a way." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter One **** Logging camp Timberlake, Minnesota 1899 "Elizabeth!" Emma Dean plunged through the forest and emerged on the steep bank of a swiftly flowing stream. She frantically scanned the water, searching for a trace of her young daughter, and her heart thudded to a stop. Ten yards downstream, a fragment of bright blue calico swirled in the bubbling water. Her eyes widened in shock, but it was the huge, black bear that drew her terrified gaze. The creature plunged its dark muzzle into the water, grunting softly while it swept its massive head quickly back and forth. The jaws closed and then the head raised up as it swung its body back toward shore. A child clad in blue calico hung from its jaws like a damp rag doll. Water streamed off the child's white-blonde hair as the bear dragged her body across the muddy ground and deposited it on the bank. "Elizabeth," Emma moaned, frozen with fear. Bile rose in her throat, bitter and strong, punishment for the fury she felt at herself for taking her eyes off her child for what seemed to be a moment. Dear God, Elizabeth was only three! How could she have disappeared so quickly? Emma took a step closer to the bank and stopped, her eyes opening wider in shock. 13


The bear hunched over the child, sniffing as it gave her a gentle nudge. Suddenly the creature rose with an arch of its back and stood upright. Its thick, furred limbs lengthened into muscular human legs and arms. The shaggy black pelt shrank, yielding to smooth olive skin. Where the dark muzzle had jutted from a broad, furred face, a human face now gazed down upon the child that its body straddled. Emma shoved the back of her hand against her mouth to stifle a scream. Every muscle felt immobile as stone as she watched the man bend and lift the small body, carefully cradling it to his chest. His head rose and he sniffed the air, suddenly alert to something amiss. Then slowly turning his head, his gaze drifted up the shore to meet hers. "Dear Lord," Emma breathed, feeling her heart seize up within her. The bear...now man...stood there silently watching her. His eyes flared with surprise for a moment, then he raised his arms up, offering the child in his grasp to her. Move, she urged herself. Forcing one foot ahead of the other, she stumbled down the bank and inched toward the man. His dark eyes appraised her carefully. Her face, though ghostly pale, was heart-shaped and softly framed by a mass of light blonde hair that was swept into a pile upon her head. The resemblance between the woman and the child was so strong, he felt sure that this was her babe in his arms. Her eyes were wide and though she was obviously terrified of him, she continued to make her way nearer. Slowly her slender arms raised and reached out toward him, toward the child. 14


"E...Elizabeth," she stammered, nodding her head down to indicate the child. "Give her to me." The man remained motionless for a moment, still assessing her. The woman was so frightened that her lower lip quivered. He smelled the fear emanating from her; saw her hands trembling even as they breached the air to draw closer to him. She was brave, but then he knew from experience that humans would do anything to protect their young. "Do not fear me," he said, wanting to allay her panic though he knew he should have fled her presence long before now. Despite the danger of this encounter with the human, he found himself compelled to stay. He couldn't stop looking at her. Her arms dropped at the shock of his speaking. His voice was deep but strangely warm for someone so frightening in appearance. Emma stared at the man towering before her. He was well above six feet tall and built like a bull with huge, broad shoulders that glistened in the sun. Thick cords of muscle lined the sides of his neck; powerful biceps bulged in his arms though the weight of the child he held was nothing to him. He stood with his legs parted in a wide stance, his thighs thick and strong. Emma struggled to keep her eyes properly averted from the thatch of hair between his legs, but good Lord, the man was naked before her. She felt a flush come over her cheeks at the sight of his manhood. Though she'd been married for four years, her husband had not the stunning build of this man. 15


She looked up again and peered at his face. His jaw was broad, his cheekbones high, his piercing dark eyes deep-set and staring curiously back at her. Long, thick black hair hung in a tangled mass about his face. There was a roughness about him that frightened her, but still he was handsome. Suddenly her breath choked in her throat as the image of a bear flashed into her mind—the image of this bear, this man—carrying her child from the icy rush of the water in his jaws. Horror overtook her. She rushed forward and snatched Elizabeth from his arms. "Beth," she cried, raising the small body to her chest to feel for a heartbeat. "Mama's here." Tears streamed down her face with relief at the steady breaths the girl took. "The child lives," the man said softly. Emma lifted her apron and wrapped it tightly around the girl, enclosing her body in the white wool fabric to warm her. "Stay away from me," she warned the man, turning to flee. She took several steps and stopped, then half turned to peer at him over her shoulder. He hadn't moved, but stood calm and quiet, just watching her. "You're not from the camp. Who are you?" she asked. Cocking his head, the man quirked his lips in a faint smile and lowered his head in greeting, surprised that her curiosity had surpassed her fear. "My name is Marowin." Emma gulped down the knot lodged in her throat. Slowly she turned back toward him and swept her gaze over him from top to bottom once again. 16


"You saved my daughter," she said, her voice cracking with emotion. "I saw you pull her out of the water...with your jaws. You are...were...an animal." Fear flashed across her face at the memory of what she'd seen. "What manner of creature are you?" Marowin couldn't force an answer from his lips as a wave of trepidation washed through him. He shuddered. What have I done? As Guardian, he was sworn to protect his clan from these humans who claimed his forest for their own, destroying the trees and killing the animals that sheltered there. When he'd rescued the child, he'd meant to leave her near their camp for her people to reclaim, but then the woman had appeared. He'd thought that perhaps she hadn't seen him shift from his bear form, but now it was clear that she had. And that meant only one thing: she had to die. Emma stared at the man, fascinated with the struggle that was clearly raging through his mind. His eyes darted to the forest while his mouth twitched, yet he made no move toward her or away. He was raw power, a man-animal obviously capable of great violence, but with the gentleness of a man who tended to the safety of a babe that wasn't even his own. She had heard whispered stories of forest-dwelling creatures from the Indian trader who sometimes came to the logging camp, but she'd dismissed them as pagan folktales. Yet she couldn't deny what she had seen with her own eyes, and the fact that her daughter was safe in her arms because of him...this creature... She drew in a breath to calm herself. "You're one of them, aren't you?" When he didn't reply, she pressed again. "What 17


the Indians speak of, the man-bears they say live in this forest. That's what you are." Closing his eyes to the sight of her, Marowin felt his stomach clench at the war raging inside of him. Now that she knew the truth about him, she must die to ensure the clan's safety. Yet how could he kill this human...a woman... and leave the babe motherless? The kinder thing would be to kill them both. With their bodies safely hidden, perhaps the other humans would assume that the woman had taken her child and fled the logging camp. Then his clan would be safe. "It doesn't matter what you are. You have my gratitude for saving my daughter." Her voice came to him softly, quivering with sincerity and emotion. Marowin forced himself to look at the woman one more time. Tears coursed down her face, making her cerulean eyes even a brighter blue. Clutching her child to her breast, she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Revulsion swept through him at the thought of taking her life. He had to make a decision, and quickly. Never had he felt so torn, so weak, as he did now. He was not fool enough to place his trust in any human, and the welfare of his kin was of paramount importance in his existence. But something about her spoke to his heart in a way that he had never felt before and couldn't explain. Perhaps it was innocence, perhaps her beauty. It overwhelmed him, consumed him with desire and a need to protect her. Marowin growled low in his throat and thrust his head up sharply. "Go—NOW. Tell no one what you have seen. I..." 18


His words disappeared beneath the roar of a rifle shot. Marowin jerked aside as a bullet exploded in the ground at his feet. Anger flared in his eyes as he glared at the man running down the riverbank toward Emma, a rifle in his hands. The woman turned and screamed at her husband to stop, but the repercussion of the second gunshot muffled her words. Clutching Elizabeth tightly to her, she swung back around. "Run..." She spoke to no one. Drops of scarlet blood stained the mud where he had stood, but Marowin was gone. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Two **** Present Day Lindy stood before the kitchen window and gazed at the water dripping from the tiny icicles clinging along the eaves trough. Sunshine streamed through the glass, making her squint against the glare. Not that she minded. Each day that passed, every climb in temperature, brought her closer to the day when spring reclaimed the Northwoods and woke her clan. Her clan. The sound of that was music to her ears. A smile curling on her face, she turned from the window and yipped as she smacked into 230 pounds of solid muscle. "Marin!" Dark, intense eyes stared down into hers while his face lit with a smile. "Lindy, I've missed you." He slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. "You look beautiful." She laid her head against his bare chest and hugged him tight. Beneath her cheek, his heart pulsed steady and strong. "I've missed you too. God, it's been such a long winter without you." Guilt assailed him at her words. He would've given anything to stay awake through the winter and be her companion and lover, but it was not to be. Nature had decreed that his true form, the bear, must rule over his human form and do what it must to survive. And to survive, 20


he must hibernate. So, despite what his heart wanted, and his determination to stay with Lindy over the winter, he had succumbed to his true nature and slumbered over these many months. "I am sorry. You know that I tried to stay awake but I couldn't." She laid her fingertips gently against his lips. "Shh. Don't apologize for what you are. We've been through this already and you know that I accept what nature demands of you. I'm just thankful that you agreed to sleep here instead of in your den." For just a moment, his eyes flared with the returning rush of his memories. He released her and stepped back, raising his gaze to look at the forest outside the window. "The clan. I need to return to them and see for myself that they're safe." Lindy's heart quickened at the thought of him leaving. "Marin, I'm sure they're fine. They've been sound asleep just like you have. And besides, you just woke up. Let me make you some breakfast and have a chance to enjoy you before you go to them." His lips quirked up in a grin. "Enjoy me how, Protector?" She threw her arms around his neck and pulled his head down to bring his lips to her own. His mouth was warm and firm, his enthusiasm evident in the way he drew her close again and wrapped her in his embrace as his tongue sought her own. A growling moan escaped his throat at the feel of her breasts against his chest. Whirling her around, he walked her backward through the kitchen and lowered her gently onto 21


the living room couch. Unable to control the lust that had built within him during his long sleep, he fumbled with the buttons of her blouse and the zipper on her jeans, succeeding with neither. "Here, let me," she groaned, pushing his hands away. In a moment, her clothes lay in a pile on the floor and she laid back on the cushions to watch his hungry gaze linger on her. "Sweet Mother Earth," he murmured, lowering himself to straddle her. His hands swept over her breasts as his tongue swiftly followed, unable to get enough of her soft human skin. Damn hibernation for making him lose all these months without touching her. Lindy reached down and cupped his erection in her hands, stroking him gently. His eyes closed in surrender as his body pulsed and throbbed. "Come to me, Marin," she coaxed. It seemed so long since he had been with her, and this intimacy between their human bodies was still so new, that he hesitated, unsure of himself. The last thing he wanted to do was to hurt her in his haste and inexperience. The self-doubt on his face was so evident that it made her heart ache. She slid her hands up his body and laid her palms on each side of his head. Pushing the hair back out of his face, she gazed up into his dark eyes and smiled. "I want this, Marin. I've always wanted this. Don't be afraid." Hearing her reassuring words was all he needed. Nudging her thighs apart, he plunged into her moist heat and gasped. Waves of pleasure coursed through his body as she moved in time with him, neither of them able to control the yearning 22


and anticipation that had built up over the long winter months of loneliness. His release was immediate and intense, bringing her over the edge with him, and when he was sated, he collapsed gently beside her. Lindy snuggled deep within his arms and sighed, unable to hide the relief she felt. All these months of wondering if he would awaken with regret, possibly even horror, at his decision to pursue a relationship with her. Would he change his mind about loving her? But now the answer was clear. The human part of him still needed and desired her. As if reading her mind, he ran his fingers tenderly down her shoulder and over the peak of her breast, loving how her nipple reacted to his touch. "You know that I could never return to my old life, my life without you, don't you?" His breath was warm as his lips swept down her neck. "You're a part of me now, part of the clan. Nothing will ever change that." She smiled to herself. Those words meant more than he could ever know. Not only did she have the love of this wonderful man, but also of his clan. So very much had changed in their lives since the day Gareth had collapsed on her porch. Now they were all family and it was her responsibility, as well as Marin's, to keep them safe. They had shared so much already: laughter, tears, fear. She wouldn't trade a moment of it. And now, finally, the clan was safe. Safe. Suddenly it hit her and she bolted upright. "Oh my God, Marin. The diary." Marin cocked his head for a moment before the memories hit him, too. 23


"Dean had Emma's diary...that's how he learned of our existence. How he knew that I was part human, because he and I were descendants of Emma's twins. Everything that Emma learned about the clan must be written in that diary. We must find it before someone else does and exposes us again." His voice cracked with distress at the thought. "Marin, I have it." His bewildered gaze settled on her eyes. "What?" Lindy's grin lit up her face. "Over the winter, I tracked down the diary! After Dean so mysteriously 'disappeared,' his things were auctioned off. The diary was in his desk drawer and I grabbed it just before the desk was sold and carted off. We came this close to losing it," she said, gesturing with her fingers. "I hate to think what could've happened if someone else found it." Marin sat up and leaned back into the cushions. He was silent for a moment while his gaze flicked out the window to the wilderness beyond, to the comfort and familiarity of the woods and the clan that awaited him there. The pull to go home was strong, but so was the desire to learn how his humanness had come to be. "What... does it... say?" The halting cadence of his words caught her by surprise. "Well, I didn't read it. Not that I didn't want to. It's your history, Marin, your past, and I didn't feel right reading it without you. I thought maybe we could read it together...when you're ready." He clasped her hand within his and squeezed it gently. She was ever thoughtful of him, always careful to tread lightly in territory that affected him. He looked at her and smiled, 24


cognizant of the great good fortune that had fallen upon him, and the clan, when Gareth had ended up on her doorstep. "Thank you for finding the diary. And for being with me when we read it and discover what really happened between Emma and Marowin. But right now, my concern is with the clan's survival. If I don't find others of our kind and bring new blood into our circle, we're doomed." His voice lowered in near desperation. "I wish I knew where Lucien's clan lived." "But he killed his clan. The rangers found their carcasses, remember?" "My hope is that where one clan resided, others may be nearby. Maybe there are even survivors. I just don't know how to find them." "I think I can help you with that," Lindy said, squeezing his hand. "It was at High Lake, which is about fifteen miles from here, where they found the bodies. I'll drive you there and help you search, if you like." He shook his head gently, not wanting to discourage her. "The ride would be appreciated but you can't come with when I look for them. Once they caught your scent, they'd be long gone. I'm sorry but I need to do this alone." "I understand," she said, fighting to control her disappointment. "And the diary?" "That will have to wait. For now, I need to check on the clan and see to their needs. Then I'll worry about the past." "And what about your needs?" Cupping her face in his hands, Marin kissed her lips firmly and pushed her gently back down on the sofa, a mischievous 25


grin growing beneath his twinkling eyes. "There's only one thing I'll ever need, Mrs. Anderson. You." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Three **** A thin crust of thawing snow still covered the meadow at forest home, concealing all that lay beneath, but Marin knew exactly where each of his kin was denned. He snuffled at the entrance to Lena's den and pawed away the snow that had drifted around its entrance. A muted growl echoed from deep inside the earth. Marin took a step back and waited, his anticipation barely restrained. Suddenly a clump of wet snow burst outward from the den and a small black head popped out. The tiny round eyes blinked sluggishly in the bright light of day. "Guardian?" his sleepy voice said through a yawn. Gently wiping away the snow that clung to the cub's nose, Marin scooped Notch up and pulled him out of the den, eager to see the youngster who reminded him so much of himself in his younger days. "Look at you, you've grown into a handsome young bear now. How was your sleep?" "I dreamed of summer and honey and berries. I dreamed about you, and how you saved us." His young face seemed suddenly much older under the weight of the memories he bore. Marin pawed the cub gently to him and snuggled him against his chest. It broke his heart to think that even at such a tender age, the memories of Lucien and his evil treatment 27


of the clan remained with the cub. But then, there would be no escaping the memory; every time Notch caught his reflection in a stream or a lake, he would see the scar caused by the devil bear. Marin's eyes closed in pain at the thought of what had happened to the youngster, and at the memory of how he'd abandoned his clan in their time of need. "Marin?" a gentle voice whispered to him. Slowly, Marin opened his eyes. Lena sat before him, her head tipped down, her soft brown eyes gazing up at him. He had to look away, couldn't bear the thought of her feelings as he cradled her deformed cub, or the thought of how his pride had cost her son an ear. Lena rose and nudged Marin gently in the side. She could see the fur of his chest rise and fall as he fought to keep control of his emotions. "It's all right, Marin," she said, her voice full of forgiveness and affection. "He'll be fine. He's strong...like you." "Oh Lena," Marin groaned, the regret making his bear voice deep. "If I could go back and change things, I would. I should have fought harder to keep Notch safe. I should have fought Lucien to the death before he had the chance to hurt anyone." "We drove you out, remember? We made our choice that day and what befell us was what we brought upon ourselves. I'm just thankful that you and the Protector took us in when we escaped, or things would have been much worse for us..." She nodded down toward her cub. Marin gazed into Lena's eyes, grateful for her mercy. Only then did he notice that the others had come out of their dens 28


and were sitting silently around them. He released Notch from his grasp and turned in a circle, nodding his greeting to all that remained of his clan. Gareth sat closest to him. His honey colored eyes lowered in respect as his lips parted in a smile. In one year, so much had changed, most of all the Guardian that he loved and admired. His thoughts drifted back to the day he'd complained to Lindy about Marin, called him the 'great ice bear' because he never backed down, never admitted he was wrong...never believed he could be wrong. And yet here he was, apologizing to a she-bear about the things he'd done wrong, admitting his shortcomings when he had nothing to apologize for. Gareth wondered if it was the humanity in him that made Marin more humble, or if Lindy was teaching him things he couldn't have learned on his own. Either way, he liked the change. His smile broadened as he raised his head to look at his friend. "It's good to see you again, Marin. You look well." "And you, Gareth. You must come to Lindy's house soon, she's anxious to see you." Gareth beamed and nodded his agreement, pleased at the invitation to see the woman he loved. Marin turned and greeted each bear one by one and then froze, his gaze riveted on the face of the last bear in the circle. Horror registered in his eyes when he saw the jagged scar splitting Lilia's cheek. The fur was completely gone where the healed skin tracked a line down her once beautiful face. Lilia turned her head away to spare him the sight. She swallowed hard and forced her voice to come out strong and 29


steady. "I know it's not pretty, but I'm alive and that's all that matters. I'm so glad you came back to us, Marin. Thank you for saving us from him." Marin forced aside his shock and stepped forward to rub his side tenderly against hers. It was a struggle to keep the anger from his voice when he spoke. "I'm sorry, Lil. I had no idea that he did this to you. I wish I could..." "NO!" she commanded, causing him to take a step back. She swung her head to look for a moment at each member of the clan. "From this day forward, there will be no more regrets. No more if only. Each of us did what we had to do and now it's over. So let's get on with our lives, let's make this spring a celebration. We have our Guardian back, we have a wonderful new Protector, and we have each other." Roars of approval rose up as the circle of bears nudged each other and took playful swipes at each other with their furry paws. Marin looked around him and forced a smile to his face, but his heart thudded heavily in his chest. So this was all that remained of his beloved clan: four adult he-bears, himself included, seven adult she-bears, and two yearling cubs. Thirteen. Their strongest adult males, Shara, Keeran and Balak, were dead, as was his dearest friend Thoren, thanks to Lucien. The number stuck in his mind like a throbbing thorn in his paw: thirteen. Not enough to ensure the survival of the clan, barely enough to defend themselves, if need be. Looking up into the clear morning sky, he sniffed the cool spring air, inhaling the scent of the forest that he loved. Despite all the terrible things that had happened to the clan, 30


and the uncertain future they faced, for one thing he was thankful. There were no newborns this spring, no spawn of the devil bear. A wave of repulsion washed through him at the realization of what he would have been forced to do if Lucien had sired any cubs. But Mother Earth had blessed them and kept the clan pure. Now it was up to him to help the clan endure. **** Lindy opened the door to let Marin in. His face was haggard, his brows drawn tightly together in a thick line across his forehead. He pushed his long ebony hair absently out of his eyes and settled onto a kitchen chair, not saying a word. She took the chair next to his and reached across the table to take his hand in hers. "What's wrong?" He was silent for a moment while his gaze strayed across the kitchen ceiling. Finally letting out a slow breath, he focused on the blue eyes staring intently at him and grimaced. He didn't want to appear defeated but there was no other way to state the truth. "It's bad, Lind." Unable to stop herself from interrupting him, Lindy muttered a curse under her breath. "What happened? Is everyone okay?" "As okay as they can be, I suppose. I saw Notch first and when his little head came out of the den and I saw the scar where his ear should be..." Marin choked on his words and grew quiet again, overwhelmed by the memory. "And then I saw Lilia. I didn't know what Lucien had done to her..." 31


"What he did to her?" Marin's fingers clenched hers as he struggled to maintain his composure. "He cut her face, Lind. She has a scar running down one cheek." He shook his head slowly, mentally berating himself. "I should have been there to protect her. It was my responsibility." Lindy came over and settled herself onto his lap, snuggling him safely within her arms. She rested her head against his and ran her fingers through the thick black strands of his hair. "Don't you do this, Marin. You cannot blame yourself for what happened when you were here. They cast you out and accepted Lucien in your place...they must accept responsibility for their actions and what happened as a result." "I know, and they said as much. They don't blame me for anything, but it still doesn't make this any easier." Kissing his cheek, she placed her hand under his chin and tilted his face until his eyes met hers. "Let's not think about this anymore. It's over and done now. The clan is safe, we're here together, and things will be fine." "There are only thirteen of us left. We won't survive." She kissed his lips and smiled. "You will survive. I'll help you and we'll find a way. We'll find another clan to merge with ours and everything will be ok." He shook his head sadly. "How can you be so confident?" "I have faith in you, that's how. You've been through tough times before and you've always bounced back. It's in your genes." 32


A bewildered look crossed his face. "My genes? What is that?" "Well, genes are the genetic material in our cells that... oh, crap," she sighed, knowing he was lost at her explanation. Pulling her lower lip between her teeth, she took a deep breath and began again. "It's everything good about you that your ancestors have passed down to you. Your abilities and skills, your strength, your intelligence." "What about the not-so-good things from my ancestors?" he puzzled, looking into her eyes for the truth. "What about the mistakes that my great-grandsire made and that the old one, Jack Thundermaker, warned me about? Are those not a part of me?" "I suppose they are, in a way," she murmured. "But you're not Marowin. You are your own man. And besides, we don't even know what really happened between Marowin and Emma. Maybe things didn't happen the way Dr. Dean told us they did." Marin nodded, his expression a mixture of curiosity and dread. "Then maybe it's time we discovered for ourselves what really happened." Lindy kissed him again and slid off his lap to disappear for a moment. When she returned, the diary was in her hand. "Are you ready, then?" Marin nodded without speaking as his eyes closed. "As ready as I'll ever be, I suppose. Will you read it for me?" She sat down beside him and cleared her throat, making a conscious effort to keep her voice from shaking. "Emma Dean, my diary. Timberlake logging camp. 1899..." 33


[Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Four **** 1899 "By God, Emma, who was that man and why were you speaking with him?" Otto Dean slammed his palms down hard on the rough wooden table, making his wife jump at the fury in his voice. "Why are you so angry, husband, when the man saved the life of your daughter?" Emma looked back over her shoulder at the child sleeping in a crib near the wall of the shanty. "Please, control your temper before you wake her. Hasn't she been through enough today without her own father scaring the life out of her, too?" Otto sank down on a stool beside his wife and took her hands in his own. His head sank to his chest for a moment, then rose back up, indignant. "You will not speak to your husband that way," he warned, squeezing her fingers until they ached. She tried to pull away but he held on tight, refusing to relinquish control. "Now tell me who he is." "I don't know. I've never seen him before." "Then tell me exactly what happened." "Please release my hands. You're hurting me." Otto let go of her hands and leaned across the table toward her, his breath warm on her face. He smelled of sweat and whiskey, a sour smell she had grown to loathe. She sat back in the chair, 35


her hands safely stowed in her lap. "I began searching for Elizabeth when I discovered she was gone. I don't think she'd been gone for more than a few minutes but it worried me. Then when I called her name and she didn't answer, I became frightened. I tried to think where she would go, a place that would interest a child, and I thought of the stream. That's where I went and that's where the man was." "What was he doing there?" "I don't know." "And then what?" "I saw him pick Elizabeth up out of the water." "And?" "I went to him and demanded that he release her to me." "And he did?" "Yes." Otto leaned backward on the stool and glared at Emma, his expression full of suspicion as he observed the fair-haired, petite blonde. It had been lunacy to bring her here, the only woman among two dozen lumberjacks starving for affection from the fairer sex, but he'd figured that the money she'd make as the camp's cook would more than make up for any trouble she caused. He'd been wrong. He couldn't count the times he'd had to fight off the other men as they tried to have their way with her. "What did he demand of you in exchange for her?" he hissed. Emma swept back the hair that had fallen from her bun and bit her lip to keep from crying. It was always the same, 36


these accusations against her character, though she was never guilty. Why wouldn't he believe her? "Otto, he demanded nothing. He simply gave her to me." "Did you not notice that the man was naked?" "Of course I noticed. I'm not blind." "And you thought nothing of it?" "My concern was for our daughter's safety, not whether a stranger chose to abandon his clothing in the forest." "Did he touch you? Perhaps you let his hand touch your bosom?" "No! Why won't you accept the truth? The man did not touch me, nor did I see him touch Elizabeth in an inappropriate manner. He pulled her from the water and gave her to me. He saved her life, Otto." "I heard him speaking. What did he say to you?" She exhaled, feeling defeated by his constant badgering. What had she ever seen in this man besides his attractiveness? Perhaps if she had looked past his handsome face she would have seen a glimmer of the monster that hid beneath. Then she wouldn't have been so eager to agree to his proposal. But it was too late now. She was stuck here, far from her home in Timberlake, and in a place surrounded by ungodly men who cared not the least for her moral ways or her marriage vows. "Answer me," he demanded again. "He told me his name." "And it is..." "It was a name I'm not familiar with. I think it was Mare...Marowin or something to that effect." 37


"Where did he come from? How did he happen to be at the stream at the precise time you appeared there?" "I don't know." "Or perhaps you arranged to meet him there, using your daughter's 'accident' as an excuse?" Outrage flashed across her face as she rose from the table and stepped back in indignation. "How dare you accuse me of such a thing? I made a vow before God to honor and obey you when I became your wife and I have never broken that vow. I have never seen that man before, Otto, and I can tell you nothing more about him because I know nothing more. Now please, don't insult me further by pursuing this dreadful questioning. My heart has had all the pain it can take for one day. Be glad for what God has given us— our daughter back." She collapsed in the chair and lowered her face to her hands as the tears started flowing. Otto turned his face away and exhaled loudly. Then he rose and started for the door, only to stop and peer over his shoulder at her with a snarl on his face. "Enough for now, Emma. But mark my words, I'll find this man. And when I do, he'll answer my questions or I'll be damned." Turning on his heel, he slammed the door shut behind him. Emma wiped away the tears that coursed down her flushed cheeks and glared at the closed door. "It's too late, husband," she hissed. "You're already damned." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Five **** "Good morning, Sweetheart. You're up early." Marin looked up from his cup of coffee but didn't speak. He appeared lost in thought and deeply troubled. Lindy ran her hand across his shoulder as she walked over and pulled up a chair beside him at the kitchen table. "You look like the weight of the world is on your shoulders," she commented, stealing a sip from his cup. He shook his head and leaned back in the chair, his arms crossing over his broad chest while his gaze slowly met hers. A disgusted grunt slid from his lips. "Not ten pages into the diary and he's already made three fatal mistakes." "Uh-oh, this doesn't sound good. Have you been thinking about this all night?" A sheepish look crossed his face. "I hope I didn't keep you awake, but I couldn't get him out of my mind." "You didn't." She rose and poured herself a cup of coffee, then took her seat again. "Three mistakes? You're counting?" "One mistake could be fatal to a clan. Three is unforgiveable." "What did he do wrong?" Marin took a deep breath and sighed. His gaze flicked out the window, to the depths of the forest where his clan waited. Always there was a twinge of guilt that he should be there 39


with them when he was here with Lindy, but this morning he pushed it aside. "He never should have picked up that child from the water." Lindy thumped her coffee cup down on the table and wrinkled up her face in disbelief. "You think he should have let that child drown?" "It was a matter that didn't concern him...shouldn't have concerned him." "Well, he apparently wasn't heartless enough to watch her die and do nothing to help." One eyebrow rose in a questioning gesture. "You still don't understand how it is for us? It has nothing to do with compassion or nobility; it's a matter of self-preservation." He could tell by the stunned look on her face that she wasn't swayed, but it couldn't be helped. "You know that the safety of the clan always comes first." Lindy snorted in reluctant agreement. "Moving on... what was the second thing he did wrong?" "He made contact with the child's mother. The fool even told her his name." "Then what should he have done?" Marin settled his dark eyes on her, anticipating the reaction he knew would come. "Which leads to his third mistake. He should have killed them both, then and there." Her eyes closed, her words breathing out as a whisper. "My God, Marin." 40


Saddened by her obvious distress, he reached across the table to take her hand in his own. For a moment, he worried that she would pull her hand away in anger, but she grabbed onto him tightly as if he were her lifeline. Though it comforted him somewhat, his words came out falteringly. "I suppose you're learning more about me than you want to know, but I can't change what I am." Slowly she opened her eyes again and gazed at his somber face. Sometimes the old Marin reappeared, the one who'd nearly killed her in the forest, the one who'd called for her death when she'd been brought before the clan for the first time. She would never, could never, forget the fact that he had killed before and would probably kill again. It was who he was. It was what he did. "Lindy?" His eyes narrowed, questioning her silent thoughts. Forcing back the sickening thought, she asked the question she knew she must. "If it had been you, Marin, you standing there in 1899 and watching a frantic mother come for her child, would you have killed them? Just like that, no second thoughts? No hesitation?" His stare was unwavering, his words cold and blunt. "You already know the answer to that." Then, unable to watch her reaction, he turned his head toward the window again to look at the forest. He drew in a quivering breath. "Do I disgust you? Do you want me to leave?" Inside his chest, his heart skipped a beat in dread. From the corner of his eye, he watched her hand 41


rise up toward him and his stomach clenched at the thought of her striking him in anger. And then her soft palm was on his cheek, tender and caressing, stroking his face with love. Groaning with relief, he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. "I would never hurt you, my love. I know it doesn't make sense to you...that I could kill a woman and a child...but it's different...not you, I could never hurt you..." His words came out in a fast, endless torrent of heartache. There was only one way to stop him and calm him down, she decided. She grabbed his head and smothered his lips with her own. Only when his breath ran out did she release his mouth, then leaned back with a satisfied grin. "Hush now. It's all right." Running her fingers through his luxurious ebony hair, she kissed him again, tenderly this time, savoring the taste and the warmth of his lips. Satisfied, she pulled back and looked deeply into his eyes. "You told me once that I needed to be patient with you. That it would take time to learn your ways and understand your way of thinking. Well, the opposite is true, too. You need to be patient with me and not jump to conclusions. Just because I don't agree with you, or if it seems like something bothers me, don't think for one moment that it affects how I feel about you. Nothing could make me stop loving you, Marin. I know who you are, and if you have to kill someone I know it's done with the safety of the clan in mind." Then running her thumb teasingly along the corners of his mouth, she scooted back into her own chair. 42


Relieved, Marin leaned back again and stretched his long legs beneath the table. "I just can't figure out why he did it," he murmured, running his fingers absently through his hair. "Why would a Guardian endanger his clan by acting so carelessly, so...foolishly? It makes no sense." "Well, maybe the diary will enlighten us about that. Maybe she wrote down what he said, or how he seemed to feel about his encounter with her. Are you ready to read more?" Marin pushed his chair back and drained the last of his coffee while he stood. "I've had enough for a while. But if you'd be so kind, I'll take you up on that ride to High Lake." "You're going to look for another clan now?" She gulped down her own coffee and grabbed her jacket from a hook on the back door. She knew that once his mind was made up, there was no changing it. "I've wasted enough time. With only two cubs now, the clan is in real danger of dying out. We need to bring in new bloodlines as quickly as possible and bring our numbers up." Marin opened the door and headed outside for the car, oblivious to Lindy lurching to a stop behind him. Both of her hands planted firmly against the doorway as she fought the waves of anxiety suddenly pulsing through her. Her stomach wrenched as his words repeated in her mind. "Bring in new bloodlines." "Bring our numbers up." There was only one way to increase their numbers, accomplished the same way whether performed by a bear body or a human one. The thought of it made her nauseous 43


and try as she may, she couldn't force the horrible thought from her mind. Oh no, Marin. Does this mean you'll have to mate with one of them? [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Six **** The drive to High Lake felt like the longest thirty minutes of her life. Marin didn't seem to notice her mood, so deeply was he engrossed in his determination to save his clan. The turnoff sign to the lake appeared too soon for her taste, but she eased the car off the highway and onto the rough gravel road leading to the lake. She parked the car and turned off the ignition. Marin had the car door open and one leg out when she grabbed his arm and pulled him back in. "Be careful." She planted a kiss on his lips, then one more for luck. "And hurry back. I'll be waiting right here." "I'll be back as soon as I can," he promised and slipped out the door. Lindy watched him remove his clothes and throw them back inside the car. Then he bent toward the ground and shifted. A moment later he entered the thick forest, the blackness of his fur disappearing among the shadows as his huge paws tread silently across the ground. "Dammit," she cursed, slamming her hand against the steering wheel. It was maddening being stuck here while he searched alone, but she knew better than to disobey his order not to come with him. And though logically she knew that it was crucial for him to find a new clan, she couldn't stop herself from hoping that he failed in his quest. She shook her 45


head in disgust. "Some Protector you are, thinking only of yourself," she scolded herself. She laid her head back against the headrest and closed her eyes. Don't find them. Don't find them. Don't find them, she prayed; hoping that saying it would make it come true. **** Spring came slowly to the Northwoods, the snow receding in tiny creeping movements like a white blanket slowly pulled back to reveal a green sheet below. The soil was rich and loamy, still partially frozen and so firm that his paws didn't sink in. A couple more weeks, he knew, and the spring rains would come to melt the few icy clumps that still remained. The scents were blissfully overwhelming and he stuck his nose to the ground to breathe them in. There was the pungent odor of pine needles slowly decaying on their journey back to the earth, balanced by the fresh scent of new greenery bursting free of the soil. And over there, near that sun-strewn thicket, were the faint remains of blood and afterbirth and two sets of hoof prints wandering away where only one had entered earlier in the morning. Marin's dark lip curled up in a bear smile at the omen. It was a good sign, an indication that life in the forest continued undisturbed, as it had for all the years that Mother Earth had existed. It was just what he needed to bolster his spirits and ease his mind. He wandered on, sweeping his head back and forth to take in the vast woods around him. Beyond the trees at the edge of his vision, the lake glimmered in white sparkles beneath 46


the mid-day sun. He found it surprising that despite how far he was from his forest home, these woods were so similar to his own. It was tempting to believe that if his clan had found a good home there, maybe another clan found this place to be similarly suitable. Perhaps someone here had survived Lucien's slaughter. A twig snapped in the distance and he slowed to listen. Raising his muzzle in the air, he sniffed quietly, seeking its source. It came to him on the gentle breeze, a scent both musky and milky, easily recognizable. Bear. A moment later, a small black bear ambled out of the shadows. It stopped thirty feet away and eyed Marin cautiously, at the same time lapping its long pink tongue into the air in curiosity. Then, satisfied that the stranger meant no harm, it turned around and disappeared the way it had come. Marin's heart sank with the recognition that he had no kinship with this bear. Unlike his own kind, who had long ago made the choice to alter their form between human and bear so that they could fool the humans who would hurt them, some bears had chosen to take their chances and permanently retain their bear forms. A Bearwalker could identify others of his own kind and this creature, he admitted with disappointment, was not his kind. Moving on, he made a gradual arc around the lake, stopping now and again to take a break and ease his thirst with a cool drink from the lake. He was surprised by how quickly the sun was tracking across the sky, deepening the shadows as the hours marched on toward twilight. He strained to see across the quiet water and Lindy's car parked 47


somewhere on the distant shore, and wondered if she was bored or upset at the long wait for him to return. A little more time, he told himself, desperately hoping that his exploration hadn't been a waste of time. But as the last sunlight began to fade, Marin sighed in defeat. In the entire day, he had seen only two bears, neither of them his kind. Bitterly he admitted that there was nothing here, no hope of finding a clan to join his own. Frustration thundered through him until he could no longer contain it. Thrusting his head up into the cold, growing darkness, he growled a curse that echoed across the stillness of the lake like a boulder rumbling down the face of a rocky cliff. It took a moment for the sound to pass from his hearing and the forest to grow silent again. Broken-hearted with disappointment, he dropped his head and froze at a sound behind him. "You trespass here, stranger," a voice growled in bearspeak. Stunned, Marin slowly turned and found himself encircled by a dozen angry bears who eyed him with blatant distrust and curled, snarling mouths. Breathing deeply to steady himself, he pushed off the ground and rose to his full 6'4" height. Fur became olive skin, paws flattened into hands and feet. His human eyes stared them down, appraising each of them quickly but carefully. He took another breath and spoke forcefully. "Stand tall," he ordered. There was no sound, no movement, for what seemed to him forever. Then on some unspoken signal, every bear rose 48


up and shifted into man skin. Human-looking eyes stared warily back at him, questioning the intentions of the powerful bear-man standing before them. Marin waited for someone to speak, but no one said a word. Finally growling in frustration, he held his hands up before him in a gesture of appeasement. "I am Marin, Guardian of my clan. I mean no disrespect by trespassing here. I seek only to find kin of my own. Tell me... which of you is the Guardian of this clan?" No one spoke or moved for a long moment. Then someone moved forward and approached him and Marin's jaw dropped. Their Guardian was a woman. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Seven **** It took Marin a moment to regain his composure before he lowered his arms and then his head, a posture meant to make himself look less aggressive. From the corner of his eye he watched the group of bear people around him and waited silently for their fear and suspicion to lessen. What were they afraid of? After all, he was one of them. The woman looked down her nose at him as she made a slow circle around him, eyeing his muscular torso. "Why are you trespassing here?" she asked him. Marin raised his head and gazed back at her. The woman was tall for a she-bear and unusually well built with muscular arms and legs that made her look powerful. Her ebony hair hung straight and long across her shoulders. Deep-set black eyes penetrated his as he stared curiously at her. She would be beautiful if she removed the snarl from her face, he mused. "What are you looking at?" she snapped, revealing perfect white teeth that gleamed in the fading sunlight. "Forgive my rudeness," he murmured, lowering his eyelids a fraction of an inch in deference to her. Then his gaze shot back to hers and held it tight, diplomatic, but still forceful. "You say you are the Guardian?" "I don't say. I AM." 50


The corner of his mouth quirked up in disbelief. "Interesting." Anger clouded her face, deepening the blackness of her eyes. "Do you find something amusing, stranger?" "I've never heard of such a thing. I find it...unusual." She thrust her face toward his, though she had to rise on her toes to do so. "I doubt you'd find it so entertaining if I tore your throat out." "Indeed, Guardian. I mean no disrespect," he said quietly. This meeting with a new clan was not going the way he had pictured it and he realized that if he wanted to accomplish his mission, he'd have to take a new tactic. "May we sit and discuss the reason for my visit?" he asked politely. Looking him up and down again, she took a step back and nodded her permission. "By all means, sit and tell us why you're trespassing." Marin sat on the ground and waited until the others had joined him before he began, noting how they maintained a circle around him. It was obvious that if he made a mistake, there would be no escape from them. It was unsettling how they glared at him, their stares full of mistrust. It was definitely not the welcome he'd expected. He took a calming breath. "As I said, my name is Marin and I'm Guardian of a clan who lives near the water the humans call Otter Lake." A few heads nodded in recognition and he relaxed slightly. "A great misfortune has come to us...I've lost many of my kin." 51


The female Guardian cocked an eyebrow suspiciously. "What kind of misfortune?" Marin couldn't restrain the grimace that crossed his face. "We were betrayed by one of our own kind, though not of our clan. A stranger came among us, betrayed us...we lost half our clan to this...devil bear." Suddenly there was such utter silence that Marin wondered if they had even heard him. Then the woman turned her head toward the man on her right and seemed to communicate a silent message, which he acknowledged with an angry grunt. Slowly her head tilted back and her stare focused on Marin again. "What is this...devil bear?" she asked through a growl. Marin felt anger swell in his chest as the memories rushed back, but he forced himself to remain calm. "He called himself Lucien and said he was from a clan somewhere far from us. I've never seen a more peculiar looking bear, the way his fur glowed red in the sunlight. And he was the biggest bear I've ever encountered, larger than myself even." Murmurs began to whisper and Marin looked around him, noting their reactions. They didn't appear surprised at all, but seemed to be confirming something they already knew. "So you know him?" he guessed. The female shook her head. "We know of him. Fortunately we didn't encounter him, unlike our kin who lived here." "I'm aware of what happened here. The same almost befell my clan."

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Again the woman shook her head, her eyelids closing slightly in suspicion. "How did this happen, if you were guarding them?" Marin was quiet for a moment while he thought about his answer. If it was too vague, he would appear to be hiding something. But if he spoke the truth, he would appear weak, a failure in his obligation to his clan. His lips pressed together in a grimace. "He had a power over my kin that was unlike any I have seen...not merely physical but seductive, entrancing. He...turned them against me." His voice softened, unable to hide the humiliation still plaguing him. "Then it is him, Finn," she said to the man beside her. She raised her head to look down her nose at Marin again. "And where is he now?" "I killed him." "And your clan?" "Half survive. The others were killed in battle, the ones who followed him and destroyed the peace in our clan." "Lucien killed them?" Marin tilted his head down and looked at her from beneath knitted brows. "No. I did." Hushed murmurs echoed around him once more. The woman leaned forward, her gaze raking over Marin again. His hands had balled into fists and were clenched beside his powerful thighs. She nodded her agreement with his action. "You did what had to be done, then." A tiny sigh of relief slipped from his throat at her statement. It appeared that she held him blameless in their deaths. 53


"So what is it you ask of us?" she demanded, emphasizing the us to intentionally exclude him. "We are so few now that unless our numbers increase soon, my clan will cease to exist. And I can't let that happen." He turned to look at each of the bear people around him, trying to gauge their reactions. His gaze lingered on the hebear at the Guardian's side, the one she'd called 'Finn', noticing how his left arm hung withered and useless at his side. When the man scowled at him, Marin looked away, sparing him further humiliation. "Why did you come here?" Marin cocked his head, surprised by her question. "I came looking for survivors of Lucien's clan. If any did escape, I'll invite them to join my kin." The woman grunted and shook her head, a grim expression settling over her face. "There are no survivors. We scoured these woods ourselves, hopeful of finding someone...anyone..." Her voice trailed off into silence. Marin drew in a deep breath and exhaled loudly, his disappointment clear. "Then we're doomed. Unless..." Her stare hardened, waiting. "Unless?" "Unless your clan would consider joining us." "Why should we?" she laughed contemptuously. "We have a home nearby, food, water. Everything we need. Why would we give that up to join you?" She seemed annoyed, as if his request was ridiculous. Marin gritted his teeth and struggled to restrain his anger at her blatant selfishness. "Why should you?" he seethed. "Because we're kin-of-a-distance. We share the same lives, 54


the same pleasures and difficulties. Because we have a thriving forest home far from the threat of humans. We have plentiful food. And because...if our situations were reversed, we would do everything in our power to save you." He exhaled sharply, crossed his arms over his chest, and waited for her response. She remained motionless while she gazed at his clearly frustrated face, then slowly her shoulders relaxed and a faint smile crossed her lips. "You speak with passion, Marin. Perhaps I'll consider your request." "How gracious of you, Guardian," he replied, trying to disguise his sarcasm. Her smile deepened at his annoyed expression and she let her gaze slide down over his body again. There was no doubt that he was a powerful bear, strong of body, quick of mind and full of devoted passion to his clan. Her eyes lingered on the muscles bulging from his tense arms, the way his pectoral muscles twitched in his effort to maintain his composure. Though older than herself, he was obviously in superb condition and able, she was sure, to sire a healthy cub. Her pulse raced at the thought, the possibilities if... If not for one very disturbing thing. She straightened her back and thrust her chin up with an air of authority. "Tell me one thing, Marin, Guardian of your clan." His eyebrow cocked above his dark eyes. "What?" The smile on her face lowered to a sneer. "Tell me why you smell like a human." **** 55


Lindy kicked the kitchen door closed behind her and followed Marin into the living room where he had already sunk onto the sofa. "So there really are female Guardians?" she asked, settling down beside him. "Apparently," he muttered, locking his fingers behind his head. A headache throbbed behind his eyes, making him wish he could just go to sleep and forget the whole disastrous day, but he knew Lindy wouldn't let him rest until all her questions were answered. "Why didn't you tell me this before?" He glanced at her from the corner of his eye, willing himself to remain patient. After all, it wasn't her fault that he had ruined everything. "Because I didn't know until today. I've never heard of a clan with a she-bear for a Guardian. It's...unnatural." Lindy crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. "Unnatural, huh...like having a female Protector?" "Well, it's true," he said coolly, knowing that he risked pissing her off. "It's not that she-bears aren't capable of doing the job, but rather that it's more reasonable for a he-bear to do it considering his greater strength." "You know, it doesn't always come down to strength," she said, a slight tremble in her normally smooth voice. "Sometimes intelligence and cunning can do what sheer muscle can't." Marin turned his head toward her and grinned. "You're proof of that, my love. You don't need to remind me." Reaching over, he wrapped her in his arm and drew her near. "If it makes you feel any better, she wasted no time putting 56


me in my place, firing questions at me as if I were guilty of something terrible. It was not a pleasant experience." "Especially when she said she smelled human on you, I suppose." She turned sideways to look at him, her mind uncomfortable with something he'd said earlier. "Why did you lie to her, Marin? Why tell her about your ancestry when you know that isn't why you smell human? I know it's my scent she smelled on you." He pressed his lips together and chose his words carefully. "This may be hard for you to hear, Lind, and even harder to understand, but you'll have to trust me on this. You know how we...my kind... feel about humans. To my knowledge, it was unheard of for us to associate with your people. Sometimes I still have trouble accepting the history that Jack revealed to us, the past cooperation between human Protectors and bear Guardians. I don't know if that relationship is unique to my clan or if it was an accepted practice in other clans, too. But if we are unique in this respect, I didn't want to lessen our chances with a new clan by throwing such...startling... information at them." She nodded and there was a thoughtful look on her face. Her voice was soft when she finally responded. "I see. So it's an embarrassment to associate with us." "Lindy," he whispered, tucking her head under his chin so he could run his fingers through her golden hair. "Remember how you felt when Gareth revealed our existence to you? How shocked you were, how you questioned the reality of it? It's the same for us, trying to imagine that we could work in cooperation with some humans while other humans wanted 57


nothing less than our complete extermination. Information like this takes time to process... and accept." "I get it. I don't like it, but I get it." He kissed the top of her head and sighed, content to be back in her home...their home, and by her side. "I think I ruined things, anyway, so it probably won't matter. Now...can we change the subject?" She slid her head from under his chin and kissed his cheek. "Want to hear more from Emma's diary?" "Perfect," he said and closed his eyes with a smile. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Eight **** Emma walked slowly through the forest, following the path that led north from camp, her eyes glued to the ground around her feet in search of small white flowers. They were scattered throughout the vegetation and so small that they were easily overlooked. If she didn't love these wild strawberries so much, she would have already stopped searching. But they were such a treat on top of Johnnycakes that it was worth the effort to find them. A patch of white caught her attention and she knelt down beside it, setting her pail beside her. The berries were red and plump, and surprisingly sweet for being so small. She plucked one from its green stem and popped it into her mouth, savoring the feel of its rough skin on her tongue before she bit into it. Only another hundred berries to pick before the pail was full; of course, it would never fill up if she kept eating them, she laughed to herself. She sighed and pushed the hair that had fallen from the bun at her neck back in place. For a day this early in the spring, it was warm beneath the bright sunshine streaming in through the treetops, and her neck was sweating beneath her collar. Plucking the last of the berries, she grabbed the pail handle and flexed to stand when a noise behind her froze her in her tracks. The forest was home to many animals and 59


although most of them were harmless, she was cautious nonetheless. "Hello, Emma," a voice said from behind her. She exhaled in relief and rose to turn toward the man. "Hello, Axel." He motioned toward the pail in her hand. "Let me carry that for you." "It's not heavy," she said, but his hand was already on the handle beside her own. "I said, let me take it." His voice deepened. "Oh...all right." His hand rubbed against hers and she relinquished the pail to him. "Do you need help looking for more? I'll accompany you." She looked up at him and her pulse quickened. His pale grey eyes swept boldly across her bosom as the corner of his mouth rose in a faint leer. Oh yes, Emma, she reminded herself, there are definitely things to fear out here in the forest. Beads of sweat trickled down her back as she struggled to contain the anxiety that was growing within her and knotting her stomach. She turned and walked swiftly back the way she had come. "Going somewhere?" She answered without looking back at him. "I have venison stew on the fire to stir." His laugh came from right behind her. "Stew can wait. What's your hurry, Emma? A beautiful day like this, the forest so quiet and...private." His hand was suddenly on her arm, pulling her back. "Please," she whispered. 60


"Please what?" She twisted to pull her arm free of him. "Please leave me be. You know Otto will be waiting for me to return. And the stew..." He chuckled. "That's one of the benefits of being camp foreman, giving my men a job to do on the other side of camp. How lucky for me that you decided to wander on this side." Once again his hand was on her arm, pulling her around and though she resisted, she knew she couldn't fight him. Licking her parched lips, she took a deep breath and faced him. When would this harassment ever end? She could curse her husband for bringing her to this horrible place where she was at the mercy of Godless, vile men. "I'm married, Axel," she reminded him. "I'm married, Axel," he said, mocking her in falsetto. He grabbed her upper arms and yanked her closer to him. "I'm sure he'd be willing to share if he knew that his job was at stake. "What?" "Do I need to remind you of who renews the contracts for the men in this camp? I doubt your precious Otto would be pleased to find out that his contract has been terminated." Her eyes flared with anger and indignation. "You wouldn't!" "Oh my dear, but I would. In fact, I have, many times. What price are you willing to pay to save his job? After all, how will he feed you and that pretty little girl of yours if he has no money?" 61


Revulsion rose up like bitter bile in her throat. So he'd done this before and had no hesitation blackmailing her, too. The thought of him touching her made her want to vomit, but what choice did she have? He was a brute of a man, both in physique and in character. She couldn't outfight or outrun him; even if she screamed it was doubtful that anyone would hear her on the opposite side of the camp. Realizing there was nothing she could do she straightened her back and glared up at him, trying to look defiant. At least she could try to deny him the pleasure of seeing her terror. "What is it you wish to steal from me?" The leer became a smirk as he grabbed the back of her head and forced her lips to his for a brutal kiss. Suddenly panicked, her arms flailed wildly as she slapped at him, but in one swift motion, she was on the ground, pinned beneath him. She went shock still. Axel lifted the hem of her dress and pushed it up to her waist to gain access to what he desired. His hand grazed her ankle and yanked her hose down, revealing creamy flesh, then trailed a path up her thigh toward her most private part. "No," she whispered, barely able to force the word out. Everything blurred, his face looming above her, the trees encircling them. This was surreal; it couldn't be happening. "Please don't," she begged, oblivious to the way her pleading incited his lust. He straddled her and reached down to unbutton his trousers when, from the corner of his eye, a shadow passed to his side. He stopped for a moment to turn and look, afraid that one of the men had stumbled upon them. A relieved 62


laugh slid from his throat. It was just a stupid animal, a black bear ambling through the brush. He grabbed a small rock from the ground beside him and hurled it forcefully at the animal. He couldn't tell if the stone met its mark, but it achieved what he wanted. The bear turned and ran away. "Now, where were we?" he hissed, returning his attention to the woman. Her face was deathly pale as she lay motionless beneath him and whimpered. His gaze lingered on her frightened eyes. So easy, he complimented himself at his conquest. He shoved his trousers down. Tears slipped from her eyes. "Please, don't do this," she begged, her voice soft and shaky. She slammed her hands against his chest but his body lowered toward her, so close now that she could smell the sweat and filth on him. His rough hands grasped her wrists and held them together, stopping her resistance. She closed her eyes. Suddenly her body jolted violently to the right and her eyes flew open in time to see Axel knocked off her and slammed into a tree ten feet away. He hit with a loud thud and slid down in a heap upon the ground, out cold. Only then did she see the man standing near her feet and recognition slowly cleared the shocked haze from her mind. "It's you," she whispered. She would recognize that face anywhere, those dark eyes penetrating hers from beneath the tangles of ebony hair draping his shoulders. The olive skin glowing like bronze in the sunlight. That powerful, muscular body...naked... "Oh my," she gasped, remembering her own state of undress. She sat up and swept her dress back down to cover 63


herself, then shyly looked up at the man again, fearing the humiliation of his leering stare. But he wasn't staring at her, only at the man who lay unmoving beside the tree. She followed his gaze toward Axel and breathed a sigh of relief. Marowin's head finally swung back toward her and his gaze settled on her flushed face. "Are you hurt?" he asked softly, aware of how frightened she was. Though the color was back in her face, her lips still quivered and her hands trembled in her lap. Words didn't want to come but she licked her lips and swallowed hard. She watched him wait patiently, not moving, letting her take the time she needed. Finally blinking back the last tear, she shook her head and managed a single word. "No." He nodded and stood silent for a moment. Emma saw that the expression on his face was one of concern, almost as if he was distraught. His eyes darted toward Axel again, then to the depths of the forest, and finally back to her. "You should return to your camp...quickly," he urged before he turned and took a long stride away from her. "No...wait..." she called out to him. He lurched to a stop, but didn't turn. "Marowin. That's it, isn't it? Your name?" Hesitantly looking over his shoulder at her, he nodded but remained silent. "Then, thank you, Marowin." Emma saw him lower his head and look away, but then his gaze slowly focused on her again. "Was that you...the bear who walked by...before...?" 64


His jaw lowered slightly and from the look of confusion on his face, it appeared to her that he was debating about something in his own mind. His fingers curled and tightened against his left thigh. Marowin silently cursed himself. He knew he had no business interfering in the lives of these humans and by doing so he was putting his clan in danger. These white skinned people had brought only trouble and suffering to his kin since they'd settled here and begun destroying his forest. By all rights, he should have killed them all and been finished with it, but as he'd seen happen in other parts of the forest, they would only be replaced by dozens more. This invasion of humans was unlike anything he'd seen, as one group after another forced their way deeper into the wilderness and claimed anything they wanted for themselves. They were so unlike the russet-skinned humans who had shared their forest for so long. Those humans lived a simpler life; they took from Mother Earth only what they needed and always gave their thanks for what she gave. They co-existed with the animals and lived in harmony with the Earth. It was from these people that his clan's Protector came, offering his help and wisdom to safeguard them. But even He-WhoWatches was mystified by these strange new people and was unable to guide him in his response to their ceaseless intrusion into the forests of the north. "Marowin?" Her soft voice jolted him from his silent tirade. Without thinking, he cocked his head and turned around to look at her. Sunlight penetrated the trees in a solitary beam that fell 65


directly on her. It lit her golden hair so that it burned bright, like nothing he had ever seen before. It tumbled loose around her shoulders, free from the knot she had forced it into before the man had attacked her, and framed her delicate face. And those eyes...blue as the boldest jay that flew among these trees... they were looking right at him, without the slightest hint of fear for what he was. And she did know what he was. He knew that from their first encounter and now, when she asked if he was the bear she'd seen... of course she knew. And yet he had no doubt for his clan's safety. How could he fear this woman who spoke to him boldly yet kindly, as though he were just an ordinary man? Any other human would have run away, screaming for others to track down and kill this strange creature that he was, but she merely sat there and gazed at him with a thoughtful look on her face. And that face... there was no danger in that face. Her pale skin bore just a touch of pink on her cheeks, enough to set off her startling eyes and her sensuous lips. Her lips parted now, as if she meant to say something, but she remained quiet, studying him just as he studied her. Her hands had become still and lay on top of her apron. Her breasts rose and fell slowly, evenly, beneath the calico dress. Marowin sighed and forced his eyes closed. What am I doing, he groaned, knowing that it would bring nothing good to his kin by feeling anything but hatred for this human. I must kill her before she reveals my secret. But I will make sure she feels no pain, he vowed, as if that would ease the 66


guilt of taking the life of this harmless and beautiful creature. I cannot take the risk of her betraying me. He opened his eyes and jerked backward in shock. She stood right beside him, so close that he could smell the scent of her human skin. He'd been so wrapped up in his dilemma that he hadn't even heard her move. Emma swallowed hard again and gazed up into his eyes. They were so full of confusion and...pain? Her hand rose as she reached up in slow, measured increments, closing nearer to him, and softly laid her fingers on his forearm. Her hand trembled but her voice was steady. "Were you injured at the stream that day? I saw blood..." Marowin stared at her with his jaw lowered and his eyes wide. She's touching me? Never had he been touched by a human, not even He-Who-Watches. How was it that a human woman had the courage to touch him? Then her words hit him. 'Were you injured?' She was concerned for his safety? He thought back to that day, recalling the bullet that had exploded at his feet and cut his leg. It was a small wound that had healed quickly, but she remembered that and was fearful for him? "I...I was fine..." he stammered, realizing that incredulity showed on his face because her mouth eased up in a sweet, comforting smile. "I'm so glad. I worried that you had been hit." He shook his head in confusion. "Why would you fear for me? Aren't you afraid of me?" A nervous breath of air escaped her lips as she pulled her hand off his arm. She looked down and her eyelashes swept 67


gently on her cheeks. "Well, yes, I am a bit nervous about you. I've never encountered one such as yourself before, although I've heard the legends of your kind." Then her eyes fluttered open and she gazed curiously up at him again. "But in my heart, I don't think that you would have saved my daughter...and now me...if you were of a mind to harm us." It was over, Marowin realized. There was no way he could kill this human. During his many years as Guardian of the clan, he'd become a good judge of character and behavior. And he was certain...positive...that this woman wouldn't endanger his kin. He felt his shoulders lower in relief, unaware that he'd even been tensed up. Behind them, Axel moaned. "You must hurry back to safety before he awakens," Marowin warned. "And do not enter these woods alone again." She nodded. "I won't. He nudged her in the direction of her camp. "Go now." She planted her feet to stop him from forcing her and stared up at him, watching his eyes open wide in surprise. "Will I see you again?" Narrowing his eyes in disbelief, he exhaled. "I don't think it would be a good idea. Just try to keep out of trouble, human." Then he gave her a rough shove to get her moving. Emma started running but slowed enough to call back over her shoulder, "My name is Emma." With a smile, she disappeared among the trees. Marowin watched her go and then shifted into his bear form again. The moans of the human man drew his gaze and 68


he stalked over to the crumpled form. This is for Emma, he snarled in bear-speak as he slashed his claws deeply into the man's chest. Then satisfied with his revenge, he turned and disappeared into the depths of the forest. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Nine **** Lindy finished reading and laid the diary upside down in her lap. Marin sat motionless beside her, his eyes closed and his head tilted back against the sofa cushion. She would've thought him asleep but for the low growl rolling from his throat. "Go ahead and say it," she muttered. "The fool. Idiot. What insanity." She cleared her throat until he opened his eyes and looked at her. "Oh, I don't know. It sounds like a familiar scenario to me." Marin shot upright and turned to stare at her. "Are you comparing me to him? Calling me a fool?" "No, of course not," she soothed as she took his hand in hers. "But think about it. He found her in the woods and the attraction was immediate. He didn't mean for it to happen and in fact, he intended to avoid her. But when he saw that she was in danger, he saved her from that hideous Axel guy. Sounds kind of like our story, doesn't it?" "It's completely different. Gareth exposed our secret because he was injured and lost control. And I would have...I would have killed you...had the clan not voted otherwise." "True. But Marowin didn't know that Emma was there when he saved her daughter and then shifted to man-skin. I 70


get the feeling that he started falling in love with her right then and there." "And that's where it should have ended." Lindy sighed and slapped his arm playfully. "Cut him some slack, Marin. He saved two lives. I think he's a hero." From the glum look on his face, it was obvious that he disagreed. "He changed our entire bloodline by his actions, Lind, defied everything his history had taught him. He not only endangered the clan but himself, too." "The fact remains that you can't help who you fall in love with, and I do believe that Marowin was falling for her. Lord knows, I couldn't have stopped myself from falling in love with you!" Marin's expression softened at the wistful look in her eyes. He thought about her words for a moment, appreciating the motivation behind them, but still unwavering in his belief that his great- grandsire had made a terrible mistake. Still, it wasn't worth getting into an argument with Lindy when nothing could change the past. "Well anyway, I..." "Wait," Marin said, his brows knitting with sudden concern. "What do you mean, you couldn't stop yourself from falling in love with me? Did you try?" She laughed and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "You've got to admit that you were a difficult man to deal with, always growling at me, threatening to kill me..." Her eyes twinkled with her gentle teasing and the guilty look on his face. "But trying to keep from falling for you would be like trying to keep 71


lightning from striking a cell tower. I'm just...attracted to you." "Just as Marowin seemed to be with Emma." "Exactly. And no matter how much you reason with yourself and try to be logical about it, your heart takes over and says, 'Sorry, but I'm in control here.'" He snorted out a laugh. "That seems to be the same way my body reacts to you!" "Thank God for that," she laughed as she kissed him again. A knock at the kitchen door interrupted the moment and Lindy cursed as she rose to answer it, but her scowl quickly turned into a smile of delight. "Gareth! Come in." "Hey Lindy," he said, sweeping her into his arms. "Been a long winter. I missed you." "I missed you, too. I'm glad you came to see me." She stepped back to look at the gentle cinnamon bear who was the reason she now wore the badge of the Protector and was an accepted member of the clan. She could never thank him enough for that. "You look wonderful!" "You too." His honey colored eyes drank in the sight of her and a lusty look came over his face. He heard Marin growl threateningly from the other room and immediately looked away. "Come in and sit down," she urged him to defuse the situation, although she couldn't help being pleased by Marin's jealousy. "Actually, I'm not here for a social call." He turned to address Marin, who had joined them in the kitchen. "You need to come home. We've got visitors. Again." 72


Marin lowered his head to bring his eyes to Gareth's level; his voice deepened as he took a step closer. "What are you talking about?" "A she-bear and a he-bear showed up a while ago. I got here as fast as I could." "What did they want?" "I'm not sure but they're still there, waiting for you, Marin." Lindy whirled toward Marin. "Do you suppose they're some of the bears you met at High Lake?" "You found another clan? Are they joining us?" Gareth asked excitedly. Marin shook his head and scowled. "I found a clan but they seemed less than eager to join us. But I don't know who else it would be. We'd best not keep them waiting." Lindy grabbed his arm to stop him. "What about me? Can I come with you?" Placing his hands tenderly on her shoulders, he bent to kiss her but she stepped back, seeing the answer already in his eyes. "We spoke of this before, Lind. It's too soon..." Gareth interrupted to come to her defense. "If their clan is considering joining us, don't they deserve to know who we are...all of us? And besides, someone at forest-home has probably already mentioned it. Everyone was so excited to see them that I doubt if any of our secrets are secret any longer." Marin gazed at the two sets of puppy dog eyes begging before him and shrugged his shoulders, knowing he was 73


defeated. "You bring up a valid point, Gareth, but I'm still reluctant to introduce Lindy too fast." He focused his attention on her then, his face serious. "So it would be best if you waited in the forest until I have a chance to explain things to them, give them some history regarding our clan's association with Protectors. Then, when I feel they won't be aggressive toward you, I'll bring you in. Remember not to speak to them unless they speak first." "Yes, Master," Lindy said, bowing with a dramatic flourish. "Your wish is my command." Marin shot her an irritated look that softened when she began to giggle. "Very funny." He snuck a kiss onto her cheek, grabbed her coat from the hook on the door, and handed it to her. "Come on, then." **** Marin and Gareth walked into the meadow to find their guests grazing peacefully on the emerging grasses with the rest of the clan. The she-bear's ears perked at the sound of their paws padding across the hard ground; she rose on her hind legs and focused her small black eyes on the two bears approaching, recognizing Marin immediately. He stopped a few yards away and nodded to her respectfully. "Guardian," he said in bear-speak. She settled back on all fours and nodded in return. "Guardian." Marin moved slowly forward until they stood only a foot apart, noticing again what a strong, lean bear she was for a female. Her coat was midnight black and luxurious, as thick 74


as any pelt he'd seen. It was obvious she came from a strong line of bears. The he-bear that had been at her side that day at High Lake moved to take a position along her right flank again, his left paw dangling uselessly. Marin nodded to him and then swung his head back to the female. "Stand tall," Marin ordered to his guests and everyone in his clan. The Guardian cocked her head to cast a surprised look his way. "Why do you demand this of us?" "I'll explain shortly, if you will just indulge me for the time being." Since she was in his territory, there was little she could do if she didn't want to appear rude. She shot a quick roll of the eyes to Finn in complaint and then shifted to man-skin. When everyone had shifted, they sat together in a semi-circle around Marin. "I'm pleased to see you here, Anwen," he said to her in man-speak. "I assume you've already met my clan?" "I hope you don't mind that we spoke to them without your permission. I...assumed you would be here." Marin ignored the snub and smiled at her. "Of course. I was occupied elsewhere, but I'm glad that you've made yourself comfortable." "It was a long journey here and your kin have been kind enough to show us your water source and let us refresh ourselves. "Excellent." "I do admit that your territory is prime, and nicely secluded from humans." She shook her head and grunted 75


softly. "Perhaps you've heard that they're at it again in our territory. Building another, what is the term, subdivision? I think that's correct. Every day we hear the roar of their machines coming closer and closer and the crack of more trees falling to the earth." A shiver rippled down her body, covering her naked skin in goose pimples. "They're unstoppable." "And unbeatable," the man beside her added. "Marin, this is my brother, Finn," she said, nodding toward him, as if only now remembering that he was present. "Welcome," Marin said to him before addressing the woman again. "I was not aware of this, but I'm not surprised. They come in greater numbers every year, and each seems to be greedier than the last. If our forest wasn't protected by the humans from themselves, I believe we would be in the same predicament." "Without a doubt." She tossed her head to scan the bear people sitting around her, eyeing each critically. "It seems you spoke the truth about being in short number. Have you no young he-bears other than the one at your side?" She snubbed the two old males across from her. "Gareth," the young man said, introducing himself. Marin shook his head. "Our other young boars were killed in an attack ordered by Lucien. As you can also see, we have only these two cubs." He nodded to indicate Notch and Mara's orphaned cub, Honey, who rolled in the grass nearby. "Our circumstances are dire."

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Anwen pursed her lips while she considered. She looked at Finn as if waiting for him to speak, but when he remained silent, she gazed back at Marin and nodded. "It seems that I have a clan in need of a new territory and your territory needs a new clan. Perhaps we can come to some agreement." "That is my hope. But there is one thing I think you should know about us...perhaps you have something similar in your clan." He inhaled deeply, wondering how best to word what he had to say. "There is a tradition in my clan...a Protectorship that was established long ago and continues to this day. We have an alliance with someone...special." The corner of Anwen's mouth rose crookedly. "I have no idea what you're talking about. A Protectorship?" Marin's heart sank. It was obvious that other clans, or at least hers, had never had an agreement with humans, and he feared what he now had to disclose. However troubling it may be, though, it had to be done. "For many generations, someone has watched over us to help protect us from humans. The Protector has allied with the Guardian to work together on behalf of the clan. Your clan would need to accept her, just as you would accept us as your kin-of-a-distance." Anwen nodded thoughtfully. "This is truly strange. I've never heard of such an arrangement, but it seems wise. Our kind can never have too much protection, especially in these troubling times." "Precisely," Marin encouraged. 77


"So where is this Protector of yours?" Anwen demanded. "I will meet her." Marin's lips pursed together as he drew in a breath to steady himself. "Lindy," he called out. She stepped out of the woods behind him and moved confidently across the meadow toward the group of bear people sitting on the ground. Her eyes were drawn to the female Guardian, who sat closest to Marin, and her jaw dropped. She was a beautiful woman whose long black hair lay in ebony sweeps across her golden shoulders. Her body was strong and toned, while her dark eyes flashed with intelligence. Then Lindy's steps faltered and she froze in place. In the time it took for her last step, the woman had shifted into bear-skin and was charging her at full speed. Her lips were drawn back in a snarl to reveal gleaming white canines as roaring growls echoed in the silence of the meadow. The silence was shattered by Lindy's scream as she threw her arm across her face to shield herself from the coming attack. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Ten **** Lindy felt the air swoosh around her and waited for the sickening pain of those sharp teeth ripping her flesh, but there was no pain. Instead she heard a familiar growl and felt the earth tremble beneath her feet. She opened her eyes cautiously. Marin lay sprawled on top of Anwen, his strong paws holding her down even as he strained to keep his head away from her slashing teeth. She was putting up a good fight, but she was no match for him. He growled his warning to her again, demanding that she cease her attack and be still, and it took her a moment to accept that she wouldn't win this battle. Her dark eyes rolled to look beyond Marin to her brother. Finn was upright, standing paw to paw with Gareth. Though fury glowed in his eyes, he remained motionless beside the cinnamon bear who blocked his path. His withered paw hung useless before him. Unable to come to his sister's defense, he sank onto all fours and backed away, turning his left side away from the clan to hide his disability. When Anwen lay still beneath him, Marin turned his head to cast an 'I told you so' glance up at Lindy. She crossed her arms over her chest and pressed her lips together in a pout, knowing that he'd enjoy bringing this up to her again in the coming days. 79


"Yeah, yeah," she muttered. Gareth shifted back to man-kin and walked to her side to cradle her in the safety of his arms. "You okay?" he asked. "I'm fine. Just surprised by psycho bear, that's all." Marin rose and shifted, too, then ordered Anwen to return to man-skin. When she did, he gazed into her furious eyes. "I'm sorry, I should have given you proper warning. I know this is a shock." "Shock? Shock? You've allied yourself with a human?" She whirled and turned her back on Marin, so angry she couldn't even look at him. Her head shook so hard that her hair moved as if swept by the wind. "Out of your mind, that's what you are. No wonder Lucien wanted to take over your clan." Marin grabbed her upper arms and yanked her around so hard she almost fell over. "Watch your tongue!" he snarled. "Guardian or not, you will respect me and the traditions of my clan when you are in my territory." Finn was now in man-skin and he took a few steps nearer Marin and raised his good arm. "Please," he said softly, seeking to defuse the situation. He knew they were at the mercy of Marin and his clan and the last thing he wanted was for someone else to become incapacitated. "Anwen, calm down. Marin, please release her." Though his heart still pounded inside his chest, Marin took a calming breath and removed his hands from her. She took a step back and glared up at him. Marin stood silently, melting beneath her hateful stare and wondered how it had all gone so wrong. 80


"Let's go, Finn," she hissed. "No wonder he stinks of human." She turned and started walking away. "No." Anwen stopped so fast she almost tripped. Her eyelids squinted lower, open just enough to glare at him. "What did you say?" "I said no, Sister. I'm curious about this and I think we should give them the opportunity to at least explain this... unconventional... arrangement before we leave." Anwen huffed dramatically and turned around again. She plopped her hands on her hips and cocked her head. "Fine. Then talk." Marin motioned to the ground, where his clan sat nervously watching them. "Please, sit with me and let me explain." While their guests took their seats again, Lindy sat down too, choosing a spot next to Marin, and leaned close to whisper in his ear. "What a bitch." "The perfect Guardian," he replied, the corner of his mouth drawing up in a smirk. When everyone was seated, he stared hard at Anwen, who fidgeted, obviously in no mood to hear any explanation. "All I ask is that you hear before you judge," he said. When Anwen returned his stare, the heat of it could've started a forest fire. "Get on with it," she commanded. "One year ago this spring, Gareth was shot by poachers and badly wounded. Lindy found him in man-skin and took him into her home, where he unintentionally shifted in her 81


presence and exposed our secret. Yet she cared for him, healed him, and when we captured her, I was prepared to eliminate her. But Gareth asked the clan to spare her life because of her kindness to him, and that was how they voted." "They spared her?" Anwen and Finn asked simultaneously. "Our elder, Thoren, felt it would be beneficial to have a 'sanctuary' within the human community and some of the others agreed with him. His foresight turned out to be more important than we could have imagined." "How so?" Anwen asked, intrigued. "The poachers returned to capture me and it was Lindy who saved me." He watched with amusement while Anwen's jaw dropped in surprise. "This human saved you, Guardian?" "Yes. It was during my capture that I learned of my human ancestry and of this clan's past history of having a human Protector. So Lindy is not the first of our People of the Bear, as they were called." Anwen's face screwed up in puzzlement while she considered this. It was almost too bizarre to be believable, yet here the human woman sat, comfortable and at ease with the clan, as they seemed to be with her. "So you trust her with your life. And our secret?" Marin nodded solemnly. "I do. She's proven her loyalty to us time and again, even putting her own life at risk for us. Despite what we've been taught, not all humans want to harm us." 82


Finn snorted, causing everyone to turn and look at him. "This," he spat out, nodding down toward his withered arm, "is what happens when we involve ourselves with humans." Marin was quiet for a moment to acknowledge Finn's complaint, then turned to address him directly. "I, too, have suffered at the hands of the humans. My mate was killed by them many years ago. I, myself, was beaten and humiliated by them during my captivity. But just as there are evildoers among the humans, there are also those who do good. Lindy is such a person." "And what is her role as Protector for this clan? Doesn't it conflict with your power and authority as Guardian?" "Just the opposite. She enhances my power and supports my authority. Make no mistake, I make the decisions affecting the well-being of this clan, but she advises me well on matters involving human contact." Anwen sighed and chewed on her lip for a moment. "I suppose I'm not averse to her role in support of us, but I wonder how you and I would share Guardianship of this clan, Marin. Or would you expect me to relinquish my power?" Marin considered his response carefully, choosing his words to come across as confident but not cocky. "I've guarded this clan all my life and I'm not yet ready to give up that honor. But there are times when other...obligations...require my attention and it would be helpful then to have another Guardian watching over my kin. So, I was hoping you would serve as Second-in-Command."

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Anwen nodded thoughtfully, then her dark eyes flicked toward Lindy. "And she? Does she share in our decision making?" "Only with matters concerning humans." Seeming satisfied with his answer, Anwen nodded again and rose to her feet. When Marin stood beside her, she forced a half smile to her face. "This may be workable, but my clan will need to discuss it and then take a vote, of course. I'll let you know." "Of course," Marin agreed. "I look forward to hearing your decision." Anwen shot Lindy a look of contempt and knocked her roughly in the shoulder when she passed by. Finn only shook his head and scowled as he followed his sister. When they had left the meadow and the clan had dispersed to their own discussions of the matter, Lindy pulled Marin close and laid her head on his chest. The steady pulse of his heart was comforting and his skin was warm beneath her cheek. "Well, that was intense." She swept kisses up his chest and onto his shoulder until he lowered his head to kiss her once. Then he took a step back. "Not here," he whispered, regret evident in his voice. "It's best to keep our personal life private, my love. I still feel uncomfortable with my kin watching." Jolted by his request, she took a step away and sighed. Well damn. Put your big girl pants on, Lind, she told herself. It was easy to forget that their romantic involvement, though accepted, was not liked by the clan. 84


"No problem," she grumbled. She shoved her hands in her jacket pockets and looked up at him. "What do you think will happen? Anwen seemed to be a bit more persuaded than Finn." "I hope that whatever happened to injure him so badly won't be used against us in their decision making. He's obviously bitter about it." "I can't blame him. It must've been a horrible injury to make him lose complete use of that arm. I wonder how it happened?" "Perhaps if they join us, he'll tell us some day." Marin took a deep breath and gazed down into the blue eyes shining back up at him. "What are your plans now, Protector?" Lindy drew the diary out of her pocket and smiled hopefully. "I'm ready to hear more if you are." Marin grinned and motioned for her to sit with him. "Indeed. Let's hear more about my foolishly romantic greatgrandsire." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Eleven **** "I tell you, I know what I saw!" "Calm down, man, before you rip these cuts open again." Erik gently but firmly pushed his patient back down on the bunk. Though he was trained to doctor horses and other beasts of burden, he was the closest thing the lumbermen had to a real doctor and he did his best with what medical experience he had. He fed the man another swig of whiskey and when Axel became still, he checked the sutures to be sure they still held. Everyone crowded around the small bunk and stared down at the man's chest. Five long, curved slashes sliced through the skin and deeply into the muscle below. Blood still seeped out from the horrific wounds, though Erik had used hundreds of stitches to sew the gaping edges together. "It's a wonder he even made it back to camp," one of the men commented to another. "He lost so much blood." "Must've been a big bear what done this to him," the other replied. "Aye, rabid, too, though I never heard of it affecting an animal the size of a bear before." Axel moaned and thrashed his head back and forth on the blood-splattered pillow. "Why won't you listen to me, you fools," he gasped, trying desperately to breathe, but his broken ribs throbbed in response. "I saw him. I saw it... the 86


creature from the forest." He moaned again and closed his eyes. "It attacked me." A bubble of blood seeped from the corner of his mouth. "More whiskey," Erik demanded. "He's delusional from the shock and loss of blood." "No," Axel protested, his voice weakening. He knocked the whiskey away and heard the glass crash on the wooden floor. "Listen to me. He grabbed me by the throat...threw me against a tree. I woke up and he was changing...transforming... and then a bear was right in front of me, raising its paw to slash me..." His voice trembled and then trailed into silence. "Insane," someone whispered. "Lost his mind." "Wait," Erik said to quiet them. He bent low over Axel and gently turned the man's head. His eyes widened. "Look." Everyone crowded closer to peek at whatever Erik had seen. It was unmistakable and Erik wondered how he could've missed it. A massive bruise covered the back of Axel's neck; extending from the blue and purple were five clear finger marks as if a very large hand had squeezed tightly to encircle the man's neck. "God Almighty, would you look at that," someone murmured. Erik stepped to the head of the bunk and laid his hand carefully upon the bruise. The mark extended a couple of inches beyond the measure of his own hand, leaving no doubt 87


that whomever had grabbed Axel had a massive—and extraordinarily powerful—hand. Taking in a collective breath, the men stepped back and shook their heads. There had to be an explanation, one that didn't involve magical shape-changing creatures or Indian legend. How could they take those strange tales seriously? "I told you," Axel whispered, barely able to force out the words. Blood leaked from the cuts in a steady flow now, soaking the blanket beneath him and dripping scarlet drops onto the floor. "I know what I saw." "Why do you think it attacked you?" someone asked. Axel shuddered at the cold chill rippling through his body. His eyelids flickered as his lips pursed to speak. "Her..." Then his eyes became sightless and he grew still. Erik sank down onto the edge of the bunk and placed his ear near Axel's mouth. There was no further sound, no whisper of air moving in or out, no rise or fall of the mangled chest. After a moment, he sat up and looked at the concerned faces circled around him. "He's gone." At the back of the room, Emma stood glued to the cold log wall. Everyone had ignored her when she slipped into the bunkhouse and watched fearfully while Erik tended the injured man. Now, while they covered his body and discussed what had happened, one face turned to look at her. His burning eyes held suspicion and accusation. Shoving his way out of the crowd of loggers, he made his way toward her. Emma turned and ran out of the building, her heart pounding so hard she felt her ribs were about to burst. Otto's 88


strong hand grabbed her arm and yanked her around to face him. "What do you know about this?" he yelled. He shook her so hard the shawl flew off her shoulders. "Nothing," she cried. "I know nothing." "Then why did you run? Why did he say 'her'?" Emma tried to break free from his grasp, but she couldn't. She gasped in pain as his fingers dug painfully into her tender flesh. "I...I don't know. He's dead. I ran...because he's dead." "Where were you earlier, Emma? What were you doing?" "Husband, what do you think I was doing?" she cried. "I was making supper for all the men. I was washing the filthy, stinking clothes of the men. I was tending your child. The same things I do every day of my horrible life!" His face froze at her words. He stood motionless, stunned and hurt until anger replaced the shock. "You ungrateful whore," he hissed. "I've done everything for you. I freed you from life in that little town and brought you to this beautiful land. I gave you a child to care for." Emma lowered her head, afraid to look at him while she spoke. "You took me away from my home, my family, to a place I loathe and where I'm treated no better than a servant. You gave me a child that you ignore like a bastard child. Yes, Otto, look at all you've done for me." She was on the ground before she'd even realized he had struck her. She touched her face gingerly, feeling the place where a scarlet welt throbbed to life on her cheek. Through her tears, she watched him turn and stalk away, leaving her on the cold dirt. Then covering her flaming face with her 89


hands, Emma sank low to the ground and wished that she could die. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twelve **** "Oh dear Lord," Lindy groaned. The thought of Emma's suffering sickened her to the point of nausea, and she remembered the one time her own husband had lost his temper and struck her. It had been the first—and last—time that had happened. She'd made damn sure of that. "What?" Marin asked. "Are you ill?" "No, no, it just disturbs me to think that Otto abused her like that. Emma didn't...no one...deserves that kind of treatment." He turned and gazed down into Lindy's blue eyes, troubled by what they had just discovered in the diary. "Is it common for human men to strike their females as he did?" "It's not common, but unfortunately it does happen. People don't always treat each other well, and abuse can be physical or emotional. Poor Emma appears to have been a victim of both." Marin took her hand and clasped it gently within his own. "Have I ever...abused...you, Lind?" He wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer, but if his relationship with her was to survive, he needed to know how human men acted, how to respond in ways that were acceptable and appropriate. This business of being part human was so new, he just wasn't sure how to behave in some situations. He was learning that 91


human emotions were complex and confusing; it made him thankful that bears needn't mess with such difficulties. She withdrew her hand and instead pulled him into her embrace. "No, Marin, of course not." The tense lines on his face relaxed as she smiled at him. "The worst I've ever seen you was when you raised your voice at me a time or two, and that was because you were worried about me. Not that it hasn't crossed my mind, simply because you tend to get a little, uh, enthusiastic when you're upset." He leaned back and cocked his head questioningly. "I'm too forceful with you?" "No, no, no." She exhaled and grasped his muscular arms in her hands, concerned that he was making this much too personal. "There's a difference between being assertive and being abusive. You're assertive, but still fair and kind. The way Otto treated Emma was abusive; he took advantage of her dependence on him to control her, manipulate her, to get what he wanted from her. Sometimes all the abuser wants is to get an ego boost from the power he feels." Marin recognized the scenario and nodded. "That was what happened to Shara when Lucien became his mentor. The more powerful he felt, the meaner he became and the more he mistreated his kin." "Exactly. And once that monster is created and unleashed, it becomes difficult to control. Emma must have felt like she had absolutely no say over her own life. And being the only woman in the lumber camp, she didn't even have anyone to talk to. I can't imagine how horrible it was for her." "Why do you suppose she wasn't afraid of Marowin?" 92


A look of surprise crossed Lindy's face. "Oh, I think she was plenty afraid of him. I mean, how could she not be? He was a magical being, a wild creature from the forest. He must've been something to look at, too, all muscle and power. But he was kind to her; he showed her the compassion that was lacking in her human relationships. So her choice became the lesser of two monsters: Marowin or her own husband." "It still doesn't explain why Marowin failed to perform his obligation to protect his clan." He grew quiet for a moment and lowered his head to gaze into her eyes. The intense blue never failed to disarm him, and he wondered if Emma's eyes were the same beautiful shade as Lindy's. Shaking the thought, he cleared his throat and focused on what he needed to say. "Speaking of obligations..." The tone of his voice shifted so much that worry lines furrowed her forehead. "Oh oh." He smiled and gently cupped her face in his hand. "If Anwen's clan joins us, there will be things I need to do that may...disturb you." "Like what?" "Well," he said, exhaling deeply. "I'll need to spend more time here until they feel comfortable with us and become familiar with our ways and our territory. They'll be afraid of you, so you'll need to be patient and let them get to know you gradually. I'm afraid you'll need to keep your distance for a while." She nodded and removed his hand from her face to hold it tightly in hers. "Anything else?" 93


He hesitated, unsure whether this was the time to tell her or not. But long ago he had promised her his honesty and he owed it to her. Telling her later would hurt her just as much, or possibly even more, than telling her now. "I...uh..." he faltered, dreading it but knowing there was no way around it. He sighed. "Lindy, Anwen may want me to mate with her. It's customary for the Guardian to sire cubs with the strongest, healthiest female. And that is the reason for asking another clan to join ours." Though she'd known it was coming, the pain of his words was worse than she could've imagined. It sucked the air from her lungs until she gasped. She dropped his hand and wrapped her arms around herself to ward off the chill tremoring through her. "Lindy..." "No," she whispered. "Give me a minute." Marin turned his head to look away, unable to watch the agony he'd caused her. He cursed silently. Why did human values need to differ so drastically, be so much more limiting, than his clan's? When he'd given her a few more moments, he turned back and reached toward her. Then thinking better of it, he let his arms drop to his sides. "I'm sorry, Marin," she said, trying to stifle the sobs that clogged her throat. She sniffled softly and wiped her tears on the sleeve of her jacket. "I told myself that I wouldn't let this bother me, and I thought I'd prepared myself, but I can't help it." His eyebrows drew together in confusion. "You knew I would tell you this?" 94


She nodded and wiped the last of her tears from her cheeks. "When you told me about the clan needing to increase their numbers, I figured that you would...have to...you know. I mean, geez, you're the Guardian. Biggest, strongest, best genes and all. Who wouldn't want to mate with you, anyway? She'd have to be crazy not to. I just didn't think it would hurt this much." Marin gently wiped away the wetness from the corners of her eyes with his thumbs. "I don't want you to be jealous. The mating will mean nothing to me; it's simply the means of increasing our clan numbers. And you do know that I have mated with others before you." "Yeah. But not since you've been with me." A horrified look came over her face. "Have you?" He chuckled softly and shook his head. "No, my love, there has been no one for me but you." Breathing out a sigh of relief, Lindy pulled him close and laid her head on his chest. His heart thumped loudly and evenly beneath her ear. So human and yet so different. "I know it must seem silly to you, knowing that you won't have an emotional investment in it, but just the act itself, the physical closeness between you and some other woman...it just...sucks to think about." Marin stroked her hair, enjoying the feel of the soft strands slipping between his fingers. He closed his eyes and sighed at his disappointing inability to make her understand how wonderfully different she was from the she-bears, how much more special she was. He hated hurting her, yet what choice did he have? It was his duty, his obligation, to sire a 95


replacement for himself before he grew too old to serve as Guardian, and he had failed once already when Terra never conceived his cub. This was the only chance he may ever have. "It's all right," she murmured, her words muffled against his skin. Then she leaned back and looked up into his eyes, seeing his consternation and wanting only to ease his turmoil. "You've been honest with me from the start, Marin, when you told me that the clan will always come first. I didn't like it, but I accepted that when I made the choice to be with you. The clan must come first, and you must take care of them as you always do. I just have to think that this is another service you have to perform for them, for the well-being...hell, the survival...of the clan. I just hope that you're telling me the truth when you say that it won't mean anything to you...emotionally. Because I can't stand the thought of losing you." He pulled her hard against him and crushed her within his arms. "Lindy Anderson," he growled, "I have never lied to you and I never will. You are the only woman I love. You are the woman I'll return to." He drew his head back so he could look into her eyes. They were wide at his words. "I am yours." Swept with relief, Lindy pulled his head down to hers and kissed him so hard her lips tingled. Finally, needing a breath, she pulled away and uttered an exhausted groan. "Bears." Marin stepped back and turned, still holding onto her hand. "It's getting dark. What do you say we go home?"

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"Sure," she agreed, a smile suddenly lighting up her face. "Yes, let's go home and I'll show you what some real mating feels like." Marin tipped his head back and laughed. Humans. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirteen **** Marowin sniffed the air and eyed the glowing fire in the center of the Indian camp. Though he'd been here dozens of times over the years to confer with the clan's human Protector, being near humans still made him uneasy. He stalled while he debated his move, then began to edge forward cautiously, placing one huge paw after another soundlessly on the ground. A russet-skinned woman watched him enter from the forest and rose to her feet. She recognized the Guardian bear by the white patch at his throat. It was shaped vaguely like an arrow; appropriate, she thought, for one whose only purpose in life was to kill those who threatened his clan. His eyes caught hers and she raised her arm to point toward a man sitting beside the fire. The bear walked silently through the camp, swinging his shaggy head from side to side to eye those around him. Most of the humans stopped their work to watch him pass by, seeming as awed by him as he was suspicious of them. Finally making his way to the fire, he recognized the face of the man he sought and stopped in his tracks. He-Who-Watches stood to acknowledge his visitor. "Guardian," he said with a small nod of his head. Uttering a deep guttural growl, the bear rose up onto his hind legs. He was a huge bear when upright, towering over 98


the human beside him, but instantly the ursine form shrank into a man-sized body. The black fur withdrew and disappeared beneath smooth olive skin. Paws altered and shifted form, replaced by hands and feet. Dark eyes gazed from a face that looked comfortingly human. "Protector," Marowin replied, nodding his head in return. "Sit, please, and tell me why you honor us with your visit." The two men sat down facing each other. He-Who-Watches remained silent, still awed by the transformation he had just witnessed, and waited warily for his guest to speak. Though he'd known Marowin for years, his many memories of seeing the Guardian's handling of troublesome humans made him cautious in his dealings with the bear-man. Though he looked human, he was anything but. Marowin watched the man's nervous face and fought to stifle a chuckle. Even after all these years, the Protector still struggled to hide his discomfort at being in his presence. Still, Marowin supposed, it was a wise precaution. After all, these humans usually only saw him when he was killing someone. Drawing his mouth up in a smile, he cleared his throat. "It is good to see you, old friend." The Indian's shoulders dropped as he relaxed. "Is it well with the clan?" The Guardian shook his head, causing his long black hair to sweep across his massive shoulders, and a troubled look crossed his face. "I need your counsel. I fear I've made a serious mistake." He-Who-Watches took a sip of water from a deerskin pouch at his side and offered some to Marowin. When the 99


Guardian refused, he continued. "Tell me what's happened and how I can help." Marowin took a shaky breath and looked away toward the forest, where his kin waited safely in hiding. He desperately wished to be there with them instead of here, but knowing that he had caused the trouble, he'd have to be the one to fix it. "I revealed myself to someone." His gaze swung back to the man. "A human. A human woman." He-Who-Watches blinked in confusion. The Bear People were always so careful to conceal their existence. "How did this happen?" "I heard a child cry out in fear at the stream near their camp. I went to investigate and arrived in time to pull it from the water—still alive— and so I planned to return it to a safe place near their camp. But this woman, the child's mother, saw me shift and I...I failed in my duty to...eliminate the threat." The man nodded thoughtfully. "Perhaps she didn't understand what she saw. In her panic, she might think her eyes played tricks on her." "I wish it were so, but I know this is not the case. It wasn't just once she saw me, but twice." His eyebrows rose in surprise. "Explain?" Marowin sighed and looked down at the ground, embarrassed to admit what he knew he must. "Not long after that, I came upon the same woman in the forest beyond her camp. A man was attacking her. I...stopped him." His voice lowered in shame. "You killed him?" 100


"Yes." "And the woman?" Marowin sighed again and He-Who-Watches thought it held more longing than regret. "She lives. She...spoke to me." Unable to stop his jaw from dropping, He-Who-Watches didn't know what to say. He sat there silently and looked at Marowin, incredulous that a human woman could have done such a bold thing and survived. No one in his right mind would approach and try to communicate with a Bear Person if he knew what was good for him. "What did she say?" The look on Marowin's face was equally incredulous. "She knew what I was. She wasn't afraid of me." He cocked his head and stared at his friend with troubled eyes. "How is it that she doesn't fear me?" "You say you saved her from a man who was attacking her?" Marowin nodded as he recalled the incident in his mind. "Then perhaps her gratitude was greater than her fear." Completely mystified, Marowin shrugged and exhaled sharply. "What do you know of these strange humans?" He-Who-Watches grunted in disgust. "They're worse than any who've come before. They cut down the trees and harness them to their horses to be dragged away, leaving only stumps and mud behind. They've killed every deer within a day's walk and at night, they drink the fire water and lose their minds." "And they know of us? Of our existence?" 101


The man nodded solemnly. "There is a trader who travels to that camp and he thinks nothing of telling our secrets and sharing our stories. I've heard that he's made them aware of your presence in this forest." "Do you think they believe him?" Marowin's voice was hopeful but his expression remained glum. He-Who-Watches was silent for a moment while he considered his answer. He didn't want to alarm the Guardian unnecessarily, but neither did he want to downplay any potential danger. He took a deep breath and stared at the Bear Man. "In my experience, I've seen that the newcomers fear what they don't understand and are quick to kill what they fear. I am greatly concerned for your clan's safety, my friend." Marowin's head slumped down as he groaned. In his heart, he knew that his actions had been careless and selfish, but hearing a human express concern over his actions made the impact crash down on him even more. "What I done?" he moaned. The man gave a sympathetic half-smile and threw a dry branch into the fire. He thought about how he could help the clan, as he had sworn to do as their Protector. His fingers stretched unconsciously to touch the wooden medallion that hung around his neck, the symbol of his dedication to his shape shifting friends. As much as he wanted to help them, he knew his hands were tied. "There are too many of them to kill," he admitted, "and if we did, others would retaliate." Marowin nodded, reluctantly accepting the truth. "Then what should I do?" 102


Crossing his arms over his chest, the human rose and waited for his guest to do the same. When they stood side by side, he stared up into Marowin's distressed eyes. "For my part, I'll send a spy to watch them when I feel it is safe to do so. As for you, perhaps it would be wise for you to prepare the clan to move to a safer place, as a precaution. Still, nothing may come of your interaction with the woman." "Let us hope," Marowin agreed. Then sighing miserably, he turned away to shift into his true form and disappeared into the shadows. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Fourteen **** Lena and Lilia sat beside the stream, watching with amusement while the two cubs splashed in the icy cold water. Lena was pleased that Honey was adjusting well to the loss of his mother, thanks to the help of his bear-kin, Notch, but it hadn't been so easy for Lena herself. Mara had been her only sister and to lose her in such a manner was devastating. It was still a mystery to her how Lucien had so easily wormed his way into the clan and persuaded them to do things that were so against everything they believed in. And now Marin wanted to bring a whole new group of Bear People into their midst. She wasn't sure she could handle it. Lilia saw the doubt in Lena's eyes and tried to calm her. "You know that Marin wouldn't do anything unless he was sure it was safe for us." "I know. I suppose it's just that we've been through so much...lost so much, that I'm not sure how much more I can take." Lilia nodded sympathetically and sprawled on the ground, her eyes glued to the small shapes of the cubs playing before her. "Marin is right that without new mates, our clan will end. I don't want to think of Notch and Honey being alone, of there being no more cubs among us. It has to be done, Lena. It just has to be done." 104


Lena sighed and sank down beside her friend, knowing that everything she said was true. But she couldn't shake the feeling that life as they knew it was over. The humans were continuing to encroach on bear territory, putting their lives in ever more danger. Their he-bears were dead, their she-bears frightened and alone. And Marin. What would become of him now that he and their Protector were mated? How could he remain their Guardian, share a life with Lindy, and allow a new she-bear Guardian into the clan all at the same time? It seemed impossible. Lilia sighed softly and laid her head upon her small front paws. "What did you think of that Guardian's kin-bear...Finn, I think she called him." "I'm surprised that it wasn't he who charged Lindy instead of Anwen. Judging from his comments about humans, I think it would be hard for him to accept her as part of our clan." "Mmmmm," Lilia agreed. "I wonder what happened to his arm?" She bolted upright and looked at her friend. "Do you suppose that he was their clan's Guardian? Maybe when he became injured, Anwen took over for him." "But why wouldn't one of the other he-bears challenge Finn and take over Guardianship...why put a she-bear in charge?" Another voice interrupted their conversation. "Maybe the clan asked her to be their Guardian, just as we voted to make Lindy our Protector," Gareth said. He settled down between the she-bears and looked at each of them. "I don't know how else it could happen unless all their he-bears were dead." 105


Lena turned her head and eyed Gareth thoughtfully. For a he-bear who had been foolish and reckless during his youth, he was maturing nicely and was assuming the quiet wisdom of their friend and elder, Thoren. She was pleased to see the change in him. "Perhaps you're right, Gareth, it may have been their choice. I often wonder what will become of us if our Guardian should be...taken away..." Her voice trailed off. Gareth and Lilia both looked at her peculiarly, curious what she meant. Gareth thought he knew and his stomach began to roil. The fact that Marin had chosen to overwinter with Lindy at her home instead of in his den, with his clan, was not lost on them. He was clearly torn between his obligation to the clan and his desire to be with the human woman he loved. Gareth snorted softly, knowing exactly how Marin felt because his own love for Lindy had diminished little over the winter. "Strange, isn't it, how Marin drilled it into our heads about avoiding humans and then he ends up mating with one," Lilia sighed. She would gladly have been his mate if he had chosen her, but of course, he hadn't. Lena called the cubs to return to her and dry off. While she waited for them, she turned to Lilia and Gareth and frowned. "Remember what we learned about Marin's ancestry when he was saved from Dean? How his great-grandsire mated with a human all those years ago?" She lifted her head and looked deeply into the forest as if looking into the past...or the future. "Maybe we already know what will happen to our 106


Guardian," she murmured. Then gathering up the cubs, she turned and walked slowly back to her den. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Fifteen **** Otto gathered the men around him in the cook shanty and mustered his determination, hardly daring to believe that he was about to utter the words he knew he must. After all that had happened, all that he had seen, there could be no other explanation. Something must be done about the threat, and quickly. The lumbermen passed around tin cups of coffee and settled on stools to hear him out. Otto was a strange man, intelligent but with a lightning quick temper; a man not to be crossed. Whatever he was about to say, they were curious to hear. "What is this meeting about?" one of the men asked. "The other day," Otto began, propping his foot on the bottom rung of the stool, "I found my wife in the forest, speaking with a man not of this camp, a man who claimed to have saved my daughter's life. But when I approached him, he disappeared into the trees." "Perhaps you'd better keep a closer eye on that pretty wife of yours, eh Otto?" someone laughed. "Maybe she's tired of seeing your ugly face!" Everyone roared at Otto's expense, but the laughter didn't deter him as he continued. "The man was a giant, the biggest man I've ever seen. And the strange thing is, he was naked as a babe, even 108


though the day was cold and the water in the stream he'd just left was chilly as ice." Hoots of laughter rippled through the men again as imaginations went wild. "No time to get dressed before he was caught with your Mrs., then?" Otto scowled, but kept his cool. "There were no clothes. He left none behind." When his words registered, the men slowly grew quiet and settled down to listen more intently. "Naked you say?" a man repeated, his brushy eyebrows rising above his brown eyes. "Who is this man? One of the savages from the local tribe?" "Not a savage; in fact, I'm not so sure he's even a man," Otto replied, watching the faces around him to gauge their reactions. Their quiet murmuring had stopped at his words. "Not a man? How can a man not be a man?" someone laughed. Otto tapped his forehead. "Think about this... when the trader Augustus was here a few months ago, he told us that story about strange creatures living in these woods. About how these men aren't really men at all, but animals that change their shape and prey on the helpless. Even the Indians have their legends about these creatures, these BearWalkers. What if they're not legends? What if they're real?" The man nearest Otto refilled his coffee cup and shook his grizzled head. "There are dozens of legends in these parts, old tales about Wendigos and strange monsters living in the depths of the lakes. They're just stories." 109


"Then what about Axel? What man has a hand as large as the one that left the bruise on his neck? And if it was only a man, why was Axel's chest slashed open by five claws? Animal claws. No," Otto said, shaking his head furiously, "we're dealing with some kind of creature that killed one of our men. Who knows what it would have done to my daughter if I hadn't arrived when I did." "What do you think about this, Doc?" someone asked Erik, curious about the medical man's theory of the attacker. Erik stared into his coffee and pursed his lips while he thought. After a few moments, he looked up and shrugged. "I'm a man of science, you all know that. I've seen many peculiar injuries in my day, many animal attacks, injuries caused by other people...But what I saw on Axel was...well, frankly, I don't have an explanation for it. There is no doubt that he was attacked by an animal of some sort. Slash wounds like that can only be caused by a bear or a panther. But the bruise on his neck, the shape of a man's hand...a huge man..." He sighed in exasperation. "The two wounds just don't go together." "They do if the man becomes a bear," Otto said. The room grew quiet while the men digested this. Erik looked over at Otto. "What is this legend about bear men?" "The Indians say that there is a tribe of creatures who can alter their shape whenever they want. They can be an animal one minute and a man the next." Someone scoffed. "The Indians say that rocks have spirits, too." 110


"But they also say that their medicine men can see the future in their dreams and visions, and they've been right about that more times than we'd like to admit. It seems to me that when they've lived in these forests for as long as they have, they've passed on these legends for a reason. Their own people believe this. And so should we." "If these creatures do exist, what would they want from us?" "Who knows? Maybe they want my woman, my child. Maybe they like to kill for the sport of it. Why was Axel killed...what did he do to deserve it?" A voice spoke from the corner of the room. "Didn't Axel say that she was there? Emma was there?" Erik lifted his hands before him in caution. "Wait now...dying men don't think clearly. Maybe he thought she was there, maybe he wanted her to be there, but she couldn't have been. The animal would surely have attacked her, too." "Or maybe she was there," Otto said quietly as all eyes turned to focus on him. "What do you mean?" "As I said before, I found her at the stream with this naked man. If a creature changed form from a bear to a man, he would be a man with no clothes, wouldn't he? And later, if she was in the forest when Axel was attacked, maybe she was spared because she was meeting this bear-man. Maybe Axel was the one who wasn't supposed to be there." Erik blew out a loud breath of air as his feet shuffled on the wooden floor around the stool. This was too much, too bizarre, to contemplate. But the fact remained, one man was 111


dead and Otto's wife appeared to have a curious connection to this naked man in the woods. "Even if it is true, what would you want us to do about it, Otto?" someone asked. Otto raised his head to stare briefly into the eyes of each man there. When he was sure he had everyone's attention, he nodded as if affirming to himself that there was only one thing to do. "We get a hunting party together and search for this Goddamned monster. And when we find him, I will personally put a bullet in his head." "Now who is with me?" [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Sixteen **** Marin sat atop the Guardian's Rock and watched intently while the new clan ambled into the meadow. Counting silently, he eyed one after another as they came forward, hebear, she-bear, cub-bear, twenty bears in all, until they sat in a semicircle around him. His own clan sat quietly behind the rock, discreetly positioned to be less threatening but still watchful. It was a rare occurrence for clans to meet like this and no one was sure what to expect. Even in his vast experience as Guardian, Marin had never been in these circumstances and he, too, was on edge. As the last of her clan took their spots in the grass, Anwen made her way to the front and stood before Marin with Finn, as always, by her side. "Welcome, Bear-Kin," Marin said in bear-speak. "Guardian, please take a seat here beside me." A smile rose upon Anwen's face at the honorable reception. She climbed up and sat down beside him, their sides almost touching on the crowded top of the rock. Marin rose to all fours and swept his head around to address the newcomers. "Let us introduce ourselves before we begin negotiations." One by one, he nodded to his clan and they called out their names for all to hear. Then Anwen's clan did the same. When 113


the introductions were over, Marin turned and addressed Anwen herself. "Guardian, I have told you the history of my clan, of how our numbers were diminished because of the devil bear that came among us, and told you of the human Protector we count as one of us. You have scouted our forest home, seen our water source, and examined our den sites. You have come here today because I have asked that we join to strengthen both clans: mine, to increase our numbers and yours, to provide safer refuge from the humans that threaten these forests. Has your clan reached a decision about my proposal?" "Before we rush into that, Guardian, might my clan ask any questions that still concern them?" Marin nodded faintly. "Of course. You may proceed." Anwen turned and looked down at one of the biggest bears in her clan. "Bremen, you may ask Marin what you wish." Bremen lifted one huge paw in acknowledgement and cleared his throat with a low growl. "Guardian, who will be responsible for the defense of this new clan in the event that we encounter danger...Anwen or yourself?" Marin inhaled slowly, wondering if this question was meant to entrap him in some way. Were they testing him to see if he was a worthy Guardian for them, or to see if he was a bully who would enforce his own rules upon them? Either way, he could only speak the truth. "I am Guardian of this clan. Anwen is Guardian of your clan. But if we are to become one, we must work together. To survive, we must live together. It 114


is only right, then, that your Guardians work together to do what is best for us—together." Many heads nodded in agreement and relief at these words, and Bremen himself seemed satisfied with the answer. Another bear spoke from the rear of Anwen's group. "Guardian, how is it that your forest home is protected from humans when ours is falling to their machines every day? How do you keep them away?" "It is the humans themselves who have ordered protection for this forest," Marin replied. "For some reason, they realized the beauty of this land and have vowed that no destruction should occur here. And so far, they have kept true to themselves. But understand that no place is safe from danger. One of our bear kin was shot by humans hunting illegally here." He looked behind him and nodded down to Gareth. "As you can see, he survived, thanks to the help of our human Protector." Anwen swept her gaze to Finn, who sat at her feet, quietly stewing. His eyes were hard when they met hers. "Is there something you wish to ask, Brother?" "Yes, Sister. We have learned that some here have taken up the habit of mating whenever they wish, instead of following our true nature and mating when Mother Earth decrees. If we join this clan, are we to act as bears or humans?" The hatred in his voice was clear when he spoke the word. His anger flaring, Marin stared down at Finn. From the corner of his eye, he saw Anwen shift her position to look at 115


him while he spoke, apparently eager to gauge his reaction to the offensive question. Marin lowered his voice. "Finn, this clan has always obeyed the laws of our kind. We have been faithful to the ways of our ancestors. It was only when the devil bear came among us and used his powers to corrupt some of us that this unacceptable practice was begun. Let me assure you that those who supported such behavior were dealt with. They were guilty; now they are dead." A sarcastic laugh burst from Anwen's mouth and every bear in the meadow gasped. It was unheard of for anyone to treat a Guardian so disrespectfully, even another Guardian. Marin swung around, his face shoved close to hers. "Explain your behavior." Anwen rose to all four paws and pushed her nose so close to his they almost touched. "Not all of the guilty are dead. You, for example. You survive." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Seventeen **** Emma stood motionless, her back pressed against the cool wall of the larder in the cook shanty where she had been taking an inventory of the remaining food supplies. Her legs were asleep from standing so long in one position, but it was of no import. Otto and the men gathered around him were unaware of her presence as they discussed Axel's death and the threat posed by the strange man in the forest, and she intended to keep it that way. Her eyes flared wide with fear each time her name was mentioned, yet even that was tempered by the anger that burned when she realized who was proclaiming her supposed guilt: her own husband. How could he accuse her of planning to meet the stranger in the woods when he knew it wasn't true? But that was so typical of him, always blaming her for things that happened in his own imaginings. She could hardly stand to look at him anymore. She heard Erik speak of Axel's wounds and the bruise that was bigger than the hand of a normal man, and her thoughts traveled beyond the shanty to the forest where he lived. Marowin. The very creature whose existence they debated. A smirk of satisfaction settled on her face at the secret she kept. He was real. He had saved the life of her child. And he had defended her from one of her own kind. Otto's venomous words yanked her back. 117


"And when we find him, I will personally put a bullet through his head." Emma shoved her knuckles to her mouth to keep from crying out. Surely these men didn't believe Otto's ridiculous claims that a shape-changing creature murdered Axel? How could they possibly think that she might be involved with a creature like that? But their talk was growing in agreement as they realized that any threat, whatever its nature, had to be dealt with. Sweat beaded on her forehead while she listened to them as they finalized their plans. Search party. Rifles. Tomorrow night. Kill the monster. "No," she breathed, the fear rising in her so fiercely that she felt light-headed. It was all happening so quickly, so unexpectedly. They were planning on hunting him down and killing him. Marowin, the man-bear who had been her only protector. She remained quiet and still until the men finished making their plans and left the shanty. When it was deserted, she uttered a tiny cry of despair and banged her fists against the larder shelf. It was not right, when all Marowin had been doing was defending her. In all her life, she had been shy and proper in her dealings with men. She had never pursued a man, never sought one out. But by God, if there was ever a time to act boldly and bravely, this was it. She knew what she had to do. [Back to Table of Contents] 118


Chapter Eighteen **** Anwen's statement hit Marin like a sledgehammer blow between the eyes. How she knew about his relationship with Lindy, he didn't know. But the fact remained; now everyone in her clan knew. For one of the few times in his life, he didn't know what to say. He would not dishonor himself by denying what was true, yet the looks of judgment and condemnation on their faces were enough to turn his stomach. "Well, Guardian, what do you have to say?" she said smugly. Lena rose to her feet and charged around the rock until she stood before Anwen and glared up at her. "How dare you insult Marin!" she growled, the fur on her neck rising in fury. "He has been nothing but kind to you and your clan and you treat him with less respect than a cub..." Anwen rose up on her hind legs and opened her mouth in a snarl. Quickly Marin took a step in front of her and blocked her sight of Lena. "Stop! Both of you calm down," he ordered, standing firm until both she-bears settled down. With a snort of disgust, Lena returned to her spot and plopped on the ground. Anwen held her ground and slowly sat down, her eyes locked on Marin's. "Let me speak and I will speak the truth." He moved back to his place and held his head high. "Anwen is correct when 119


she claims that not all the guilty are dead. I, too, am one who mated outside of our season as Mother Earth decrees. And as all of you apparently already know, my mate is our human Protector." Murmurs of displeasure rippled through Anwen's clan. Marin continued. "Though I am Guardian, though I have dedicated my life to protecting my bear-kin, how can I deny my human heritage? Just as nature speaks to me through my bear body, it also speaks to me through my human body. I cannot deny what I am, just as you cannot deny what all of you are. I mate with my human female whenever I wish. That is the human way. If it makes me a freak...an abomination, judge me if you will. But know this. I would die to save any of you, just as I would die for my own clan. That is what a Guardian does. And if it is not enough for all of you, or for you, Anwen," he hissed, turned to stare at her, "then leave this forest and never return." No sound came from the meadow. Marin backed away from Anwen and climbed down off the rock. As he walked away, his clan fell silently in line behind him. **** Marin lay beside the stream and heard the sound of paw steps drawing near, but he was too tired and frustrated to look her way when she sat down beside him. He looked at the waterfall in silence. "I've been looking for you," Anwen said. Marin closed his eyes and tipped his head back against the cold ground. "I guess you found me." 120


"This is a beautiful place," she continued, ignoring his attitude. "My clan will love it here." Unsure if he had heard correctly, he opened his eyes and turned his head to look at her. His eyes met hers and found them gazing steadily back at him. "I thought..." he began. "You thought that I was against you." She shook her head, her ebony fur glistening in the sunlight reflected by the water. "Your one fault, as I see it, is that you harbor shame over your impure bloodline. Oh, you try to act tough, as though it doesn't bother you. But it clearly does." Marin let out a loud, disgusted breath of air. "It's not an easy thing to overcome, especially when others constantly judge you for it." Anwen's expression softened. "You think that I was judging you when I was not. But it is my responsibility to ensure that my clan will be safe in your care. How could I do that until I made you address the 'situation' with your human mate? How could I know if you would lie to us, or become abusive to us as part of your own defense? But now I know that you truly are a good and wise Guardian. And so does my clan." Despite his irritation, a wisp of a smile rose to his lips. "As are you, Anwen." "No hard feelings, then? It is my deepest wish to keep my clan safe from the humans, and if we can work together to succeed at this, then there is nothing more to be asked. Will you accept us into your clan, Marin?" 121


Feeling as if the weight of the world was now gone, he nodded with a sigh of relief. Finally, things were starting to fall into place and the future of the clan looked secure. Still, one thing bothered him. "How did you know about Lindy and me? Who told you?" "You think one of your clan betrayed you," Anwen said with a laugh. "Remember when we came here the first time and you brought your Protector out to meet us? I saw the look in your eyes when you rushed to save her from me; I saw how she clung to you, not out of fear but in complete trust and...affection. How she sat beside you, touching you, her eyes warm with desire for you..." Marin sat motionless, spellbound by her words. Was the love that he and Lindy shared that obvious? "But to know that we had mated?" "No, I assumed that you had mated but I would only believe it when I heard you confirm it, which you did." "You baited me." "And as I explained, I had good reason to. You passed the test." Marin clamped his jaws shut to keep from saying something he would regret. He didn't appreciate being tested this way, as an untrustworthy cub would be tested. It made him realize one thing. Lindy had never treated him that way. Though she, also, once had reason to doubt him, she never had. Their relationship was one of respect. And that meant more to him than he realized, until now. [Back to Table of Contents] 122


Chapter Nineteen **** Emma lay motionless in the bed, listening to the rhythmic snoring of her husband beside her. Her gaze darted to her left, to the side of the room where Elizabeth slept soundly in her crib. The room was quiet and dark but for the soft light of the moon coming in through the thick glass of the window. She tried to control her shaking; fearing that her nerves would cause her to make a mistake that would ruin her plans. She had never been as afraid as she was now, thinking of what she was about to do. If she failed, someone would die. Slowly lifting the quilt off her, she slid cautiously out of the bed and stood in place, watching to see if Otto had heard. But he continued to snore, oblivious. She glanced down at her daughter, praying that she would not awaken and betray her mother. Slipping her coat on, Emma opened the cabin door just enough to slip through. She disappeared into the dark. The spring night was cold and damp, freezing her breath in steamy wisps in the air as she followed the well-worn path leading from the camp to the outhouse. She stumbled along in the dark because she dared not light a lamp for fear that any man awake in the bunkhouse would see her. She had never been in the forest at night without a light to guide her and her imagination ran rampant. The shadows were black and seemed to be filled with mysterious sounds of movement. 123


A chill ran down her spine as she passed the outhouse and moved deeper into the woods. "Oh, you foolish woman," she whispered to herself, barely believing that she was doing this. "It's not too late to turn back." Her feet stopped moving as doubts crept into her mind. It would be so easy to turn around and run back to the safety of her cabin, to the warmth of her bed. To the husband that she had grown to hate, and who was going to kill the only man she now wished to protect. Her head sank low as the weight of her mission dragged her down. How would she even find him out here in the darkness? Something rustled in the bushes behind her and she whirled around, fighting to stifle the scream rising to her throat. A rabbit scampered across the ground and disappeared down a hole at the base of a tree. Emma took her hand away from her mouth and shook her head, ashamed at how afraid she was. Still the fear lingered because she knew that there were things out here that could harm her, even kill her, and she hadn't a single defense. Blowing a loud breath of determination from her trembling lips, she turned around and started walking again, deeper and deeper into the woods, not knowing how far she went. She had never been this deep into the forest and had no idea where she was. The sickening thought occurred to her that if she didn't find him, how would she find her way back to camp alone? Overhead, a rolling brrrrrrrrrrr echoed through the treetops. Emma looked up, seeking the source of the sound, 124


and wrapped her arms around herself against the cold and her fear. The forest seemed to be alive with things unseen and unknown. She fought to keep from crying out in terror. Swallowing down her nervousness, she licked her lips and took a deep breath of determination. She took a step forward. "Marowin?" she called. Her voice came out so weakly she knew he wouldn't even hear it. She took another step forward. "Marowin, it's Emma," she called again, this time stronger. There was no answer. She looked behind her, sure that something had moved, but saw nothing. The shadows cast by the faint light of the moon seemed to play tricks on her. Was something following her? For an hour she continued in this way, taking a few steps, searching the woods around her, calling his name, but there was no reply. Her feet and hands grew numb from the cold even as sweat trickled down her neck. The realization that she was desperately lost struck her and she began whimpering. "Emma, what have you done? You've gone and gotten lost, is what you've done," she groaned at her own stupidity. She looked into the night sky and saw that the moon was beginning to sink. Time was running out and there was nothing she could do. There was nowhere else to look, no one to help her. Disgusted and discouraged, she turned around and began to walk back the way she'd come. The air grew even colder, frigid, burning her ears. She clamped her hands over them to stop the stinging, but she was already too cold. Her lips 125


trembled and she fought to call loud enough so that there was still a chance he might hear her. "Marowin, please, if you can hear me, come to me. You're in danger." Calling and walking, she made her way without knowing where she was going. Everything looked the same, each tree, each clump of bushes, and she realized that she had no idea how to get back to camp. From deeper in the forest, a noise came, the sound of something coming closer. She turned to face it, her heartbeats racing as cold sweat poured down her back. "Marowin, is that you?" The sound came nearer, growing louder, until the bushes parted. She stopped breathing. A huge wolf stalked out of the vegetation, the golden eyes within its shaggy head focused directly on her. Emma screamed and turned to run. The wolf took three steps and leaped for her. Emma fell to the ground, prepared for the agony of sharp teeth cutting into her, but she felt nothing. From behind her came a sharp yelp and a thud. She was afraid to turn around, but she had to know where the wolf was. Slowly she turned and looked behind her. It lay dead on the ground, its neck twisted at an odd angle. Marowin stood above it, but his eyes were focused on her. "Oh, Marowin," she gasped as her hand fluttered to her chest over her raging heart. "Oh thank God." 126


"Emma...are you hurt?" he asked, reaching his hand down to help her up. She grasped his hand and let him lift her to her feet. She swayed, light-headed, and he put his hands on her shoulders to steady her. "Why are you shaking?" he asked. "I'm s-s-cared...and I'm c-cold." "What are you doing out here? You could've been killed," he scolded. She looked up at his face, into his deep brown eyes and started crying, still trembling so hard she could barely remain on her feet. "I...I came here to f-find you. To warn you." Marowin cocked his head, confused by her words. "Warn me?" Emma tried to speak again but the words wouldn't come; she was still badly shaken, her lips were so cold she couldn't get them to form another word. He watched her struggle and realized he had to do something. Moving cautiously so he didn't scare her, he slid his hands behind her back and pulled her gently to him, tucking her head carefully against his chest. "Calm down now," he whispered in her ear. "Let me warm you and then we can speak." She had never been in the arms of another man before, but she couldn't stop herself from cuddling into the warmth of his bare chest. He radiated heat and even through the layers of her clothing, she felt his power and strength. As his warmth flowed through her, her mind flashed back to memories of how Otto held her, how rough he was with her, 127


and she felt like she was in the arms of her Guardian Angel at this moment. "Are you feeling better now?" he asked after a while, his voice soft with concern. He made no attempt to pull away from her, content to keep her in his arms as long as possible. "Mmmm," she moaned, comfortable in his embrace. Everything was forgotten for the moment, every fear, every worry gone. Marowin looked around at the dark forest, unsure what to do. He had never held a human woman before, had never even been this close to a human except for the rare occasions when he was forced to kill one. He knew he should be repulsed by this closeness with an enemy of the Bear People, but how could anything this soft and fragile be a threat? Finally, clearing his throat to get her attention, he lifted his hands to her shoulders again and pushed her back so he could look into her face. "Now tell me why you are here," he demanded. Emma swallowed hard, realizing just where she was. She was in the middle of the wilderness, in the clasp of a creature who had already killed one of the lumbermen and could easily kill her, but she felt no real fear. If he wanted to hurt her, he could have done it long ago. "Marowin," she said, "they're coming for you. They're coming to kill you." His eyes opened wide at her words. "Who is coming?" "The men from the logging camp, the friends of the man you killed defending me. They've figured out what you are, just like I did. They know you're one of those...creatures..." 128


Dropping his hands from her body, he turned sideways and looked into the distance, deep in thought. Then he turned back around and looked quizzically at her. "You came into the forest alone, at night, to tell me this?" "I...I...did." "Why?" "How could I not?" she replied, raising her hands in a questioning gesture. "You saved my daughter and you kept Axel from hurting me. I owe you my life." "Still, you are a human." Emma lifted one hand and set it softly on his forearm. She gazed up into his eyes. "I never believed the legends that the Indians told, never could have believed that there were people in the forest who were not human. But now that I know and I do believe, it doesn't matter to me what you are. The fact remains that you put yourself in danger to help me. Now I want to help you." He stood in silent shock, returning her gaze. All his life, his kin had been threatened by her kind, and many had been killed by humans. With the exception of their Protector, HeWho-Watches, not once had they encountered someone who wished them anything but harm. He wanted to be skeptical, the Guardian in him warned him not to trust her. But looking down into her face, so delicate and kind, her eyes pleading with him, he could do nothing but stand there in awe of her. "When are they coming?" he finally asked. "Tomorrow night. A hunting party will be coming out here looking for you. You need to go somewhere safe." 129


"Go somewhere?" he questioned. "This is my home, my forest. I will not be chased out by humans." He took a step back to remove her hand from his arm. Surprised by his response, she lowered her arm and stood with her hands by her sides, not wanting to offend him further. How could she make him understand? "Marowin, these men will have rifles. They will shoot to kill. You can't fight off a dozen men by yourself." Becoming disquieted, he grabbed her elbow and whirled her around. "What are you doing?" she gasped. "Taking you back where you belong." He pulled her along as he began walking through the brush. They walked in silence for a long time, his hand around her arm as if leading a child. The moon sank in the sky and the first pink rays of dawn poked over the horizon. They crossed a small hill and in the distance, the lumber camp loomed. He released her arm and waited for her to go, but she only turned around to look up at him again. "Are you angry with me?" She couldn't believe that she had risked her life to find him and he had the nerve to be mad at her. Marowin's expression softened as he tilted his head down toward hers. "Angry? How could I be angry when you risked your safety to find me?" He lifted one finger and ran it slowly through the strands of blonde hair laying upon her shoulders. It was softer than anything he had felt before. "I thought...the way you walked me back just now..." 130


"Human," he grunted, resting his hands on her shoulders one more time. "The sun is about to rise. If you are missing when your mate awakens, he will be worried and come searching for you. You must not let him know that you were gone. Now go." He turned her around and gave her a push toward camp. "Emma," he called after a moment. She stopped and turned to look back at him. "Thank you," he said, and then disappeared back into the forest. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty **** Lindy and Marin sat on the sofa, their arms touching while she read the end of the diary entry. Marin was quiet, as usual, deep in thought about his ancestor's behavior. "Wow," Lindy said, laying the book down on the coffee table. "She had some guts." Marin pulled her against him, her back resting against his chest. Together they stretched out to watch the fire burning in the fireplace. "Hmmm," Marin grunted. "It must have taken a lot of courage for her to seek him out like that. Sounds like someone else I know." "See, you gave me a hard time for going after Gareth when Lucien had him, but that's what people do when they really care about each other." He wrapped one arm across her chest and snuggled her tightly to him. "True, but that's not what I was referring to. I remember another time when you put yourself in danger to rescue someone. And I'm not sure you even cared for him much at that point." Lindy laughed and ran her hand softly across his arm. "Oh, I did, even then. Though you didn't know it, I think." She exhaled contentedly and watched the flames flicker, glad for the heat warming her feet on this cold night and the warmth 132


of Marin's arm around her. "So are you going to tell me what happened in the meadow today?" Marin closed his eyes and laid his head back against the arm rest, thinking again about how quickly he had grown to love his human life here with Lindy. Ever since he had awakened from his hibernation a few weeks earlier, they had made up for lost time, making love and spending every possible moment together. Now that things were settled with Anwen, they would have even more time. "She tested me. She suspected that we were mated and she tricked me into admitting it before her clan." Lindy craned her neck to look back at him. "She didn't! Well, that probably ended the deal right there, huh?" A glimmer of hope washed through her. "Actually, she agreed to join us." With his words slowly sinking in, she pulled out from under his arm and sat up on the edge of the couch, resting her elbows on her knees. She was too aware of what the implication was and she was not happy about it. "Lind," he said softly, pulling on her arm to return her to him. She stood up and walked to the fireplace to rearrange a photo on the mantle. There was so much she wanted to say to him, but her throat was clenched tight with grief. She fumbled with the photo before it slipped from her fingers and smashed on the floor. A tear leaked from the corner of her eye and she turned to hide it from Marin. "Lindy," he said again, rising to join her by the fire. He pulled her away from the smashed frame and bits of broken 133


glass and drew her into his arms, well aware that his information was causing her pain. "I'm fine, I'm okay," she vowed, willing herself to be strong. "I knew this was coming and I should've prepared myself better, that's all." She looked up into his dark eyes and forced a smile onto her face. "When are they coming?" "They'll be here in three days." She nodded, sniffling quietly. "And I suppose the Queen Bitch had a few words to say about me." A low hum slid from his throat at her words. "As much as you hate her, be prepared to show her the same respect you show me. Her clan is obligated to stand up for her as much as our clan stands up for me. She is a Guardian and deserves respect." "Right. Got it." Lindy walked back around the coffee table and plopped down on the couch again, irritated at his request. She corrected herself. Not a request. A demand. She knew he would demand this from her as he would any of the Bear People in the clan. If she wanted to be part of them, she needed to act like them. Marin stood with his arm resting on the mantle, watching her reaction. He saw the discouragement in her expression. "Actually, she didn't even mention you." "So I'm nothing to her. Just a bug under her big hairy paw, I suppose." Marin laughed and shook his head. "I made it clear that we were a team when it came to making decisions involving human threats to the clan. And now that she knows we're mated, there's nothing she can say about it." 134


Lindy looked up at him, trying to keep her expression from looking pathetic. "But the fact that you already have a mate doesn't preclude you from mating with her, right?" He nodded solemnly, knowing his answer would hurt her. "That's right." She lowered her head and gazed at her hands in her lap. Her fingers were folded into tight fists. She unlocked them, laid her palms on her knees, and took a deep breath. "I suppose she'll just eat it up... knowing that she's taking my mate." "It's not like that in our world, Lindy. It's not a game of possession, of 'look who's mine'. We follow the impulses that Mother Earth gives us." She looked up to stare at him again. "But you're part human. Is that what you're doing with me...just following impulses?" Marin sighed and came to sit down beside her, taking her hands in his own. "Sometimes I want to ask why you make this so difficult for me, why you don't understand, but then I realize that I'm the one making this difficult. You do what you do very well. You love me well. You have experience with other men. But this is all new for me; I've never loved a human before. Mating with she-bears doesn't involve a lot of passion. Yes, there is compassion and a compulsion to protect them, to care for them. But to love them? No." "I know, Marin. My ears hear what you're saying. But my heart only knows that you say you love me, yet you'll willingly mate with another woman." She pulled her hands away and stood again, only to walk back and forth before him. "You 135


don't know how guilty I feel about this every time we discuss it." "Guilty?" He didn't understand. "When I accepted your offer to be Protector, I swore that I would do whatever it took to defend our clan. Do whatever I needed to in order to keep them safe. But here I am, putting my own feelings before the welfare of your kin. It's selfish and I hate myself when I can't let it go." He nodded and let his lips curl in a small smile. "But your selfishness tells me one thing...how much you really care for me. I think that if my being with Anwen didn't bother you, I would wonder how much I meant to you. So in a way, I'm glad that you're jealous." "So when is this...thing...going to happen?" She stopped pacing and looked at him. "When her clan arrives and finds their den sites, it will begin." His eyebrows wrinkled with confusion. "Why? Do you wish to be there?" She dropped to the couch and grabbed one of the cushions. "No, I want to know so I can drink myself into oblivion that night." Then sliding down, she buried her face in it with a groan. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-One **** The new clan made their way into forest home single file. Anwen led the way, followed by Finn and the other he-bears. After them trailed the she-bears and behind them, the cubs, who scrambled to keep up with their mothers. Marin's clan watched excitedly, relieved to have new members joining them and yet anxious about the new bears living among them. After what happened with Lucien, they couldn't help being a bit on edge. But with Marin there to protect them, they soon relaxed and put their fears aside. When everyone had arrived, Marin greeted Anwen and led her to a prime location for a den, a large fallen tree with a washed out hollow beneath. Over the years, the dirt walls inside had compacted to form a dry, warm cave. Sniffing it carefully for any sign of use, she crawled inside to check it over. After a few minutes she emerged, her nose dirty from examining the floor and walls. "This will do nicely," she said. "I claim it." She turned to her clan, who were gathered around awaiting her approval, and nodded. "Find yourselves warm dens. And welcome to our new home." As the bears wandered off, Finn moped around his sister's den. Anwen noticed his mood and brushed his side with her own. "What troubles you, Brother?" 137


"I wish you hadn't agreed to this, Anwen. Any clan that makes a human one of their own is suspicious and I don't feel comfortable here. Are you sure you won't change your mind?" "Would you have me look like a fool for the sake of your discomfort, Brother?" She snorted her contempt and walked away to canvas the area around her new den. Embarrassed by her snub, Finn looked around to see if anyone had heard their conversation. A small black she-bear pawed a patch of newly emerging grass not far away, and he glanced over just as her eyes rose and caught his. "What are you looking at?" he growled. Lilia cocked her head, dismayed by his rudeness. If he was going to live among them, he needed to mind his manners. "I'm looking at you." "I know that. I meant why are you looking at me?" "Because you were looking at me." Finn groaned in exasperation and shook his head. "Idiot," he mumbled under his breath. Lilia stalked over to him and gave him a firm head butt to his shoulder. "What was that for?" he hissed. "Trying to get a closer look at the cripple?" Lilia froze in place and her eyes widened. "What are you talking about?" "You know what I'm talking about. Everyone here has been staring at me, trying to figure out how a bear like me ended up in the shadow of a she-bear." His voice was filled with bitterness. 138


Lilia sat down and looked at him, her expression softening at the pain in his voice. She had heard that kind of pain before, the pain of someone who felt like he didn't belong. "Finn, you're right, we are curious about your relationship with Anwen. But no one cares that you can't use your arm." "Right," he spat. "Just how often does your clan come across a disfigured freak like me?" The words had barely left his mouth when Lilia turned her head and he saw for the first time the vicious scar that crossed her face. It traced a jagged path from the corner of her eye, down along the side of her muzzle. The corner of her mouth quirked down where the cut had severed muscle. The ugly scar was pink and white against the ebony of her fur. Finn's eyes widened with shock. "I didn't know," he whispered. "I...I'm sorry." Lilia opened her mouth to speak but her voice wouldn't come. His words had cut her as deeply as the rock that had ruined her beautiful face. She thrust her face toward his and growled. "Every day, Finn. They see it every day." Then sniffling, she turned and walked away. **** Lindy stopped at the edge of the meadow to catch her breath and scout the area. Marin had told her that this would be the day the new clan arrived, and though she had asked to be present, he had thought it best not to stir things up that way. She couldn't blame him but her curiosity got the best of 139


her. Besides, the new Bear People would have to become accustomed to her sooner or later. She leaned against a tree and shaded her eyes with her hand. Far in the distance, she saw the Guardian's rock with Marin perched on top of it, guarding his kin. Other bears wandered throughout the meadow, their noses glued to the ground as they sought out flavorful roots and plants to eat. A warm feeling of affection swept through her at the sight of the familiar creatures that were now like family to her. A twig cracked somewhere behind her and Lindy jumped in alarm. "I could have killed you, Protector," Anwen smirked. "So easy to sneak up on." "I guess it's a good thing we're on the same team, then," Lindy retorted, trying not to show her anger. It was difficult; the woman was a bitch from top to bottom. Anwen leaned against a nearby tree, mimicking her stance. Her eyes traveled up and down Lindy, taking in everything about her. Her head tipped back as she looked down her nose. "I'm not sure what Marin sees in you, personally. You don't look strong enough to fight off a cub." Lindy took a long stare at Anwen, too, noting her strong, toned body. Her luxurious black hair fell past her shoulders, almost covering her small boyish breasts. "Some of the most dangerous fighting is done up here," she said, pointing to her brain. "That would give me the advantage, I believe." Anwen choked down a cough and scowled. "I hear that he almost killed you the first time he met you, but the clan 140


stopped him. That was their first mistake; it wouldn't have happened in my clan." "Actually, they were smart to make an ally out of me. As it turned out, I ended up saving the lives of many of them, including Marin. It's helpful to have human insight when dealing with humans." "Ah," Anwen nodded, "like using a rat to track a rat." Lindy frowned and looked away, preferring to look at Marin than the annoying creature beside her. Anwen cleared her throat and took a step forward until she came into Lindy's sight again. "Tell me what you know of the he-bear called Gareth," she demanded. 'Please,' Lindy thought to herself, wishing she could correct Anwen's manners, but deciding that it would only make things worse. "Why?" she asked. "Is it true that he has traveled to a human city? Seen human things?" Lindy looked into Anwen's eyes, curious why she would question this. Was she angry that he had done those things? It was hard to understand her reasoning. "It is true. But I was with him, and so was Marin. No harm came to him." "Tell me how this came to be." Lindy exhaled softly, hoping her explanation would satisfy Anwen's curiosity and yet not get Gareth in trouble with her. "It's my fault, really." She watched the Guardian's eyelids flicker with interest. "Gareth was the one shot by poachers and he got away from them by finding his way to my 141


doorstep. He had shifted into man skin from shock, so when I took him in, of course I thought he was human. Then he shifted again during his sleep and I walked in to find a wounded bear on my rug." Anwen's eyes were open as wide as they would go. She nodded faintly. "Continue." "So, naturally, I was horrified and confused. But he was so sweet...so non-threatening, that I couldn't do anything but help him. I couldn't turn him away when he was hurt like that." A smile rose to her lips at the memory of her first days with Gareth, of how boyish and naive he had been. "I took care of him, nursed him back to health, which took several days. During that time he was free to make himself at home in my cabin. He saw things he'd never seen before, ate new foods, got a brief taste of human life. He never forgot that, even when he returned to his home." "And then?" Lindy cocked her head and inhaled. "Well, then he wanted to bring me here so I could meet the clan. I already knew their secret, so we figured it would be no harm, but Marin had other ideas. He would've killed me if Gareth hadn't defended me." "Gareth stood against Marin for your sake?" Her voice held a tinge of incredulity. "Yep. The clan voted to spare me and the rest is history. Don't get me wrong, it took a long time for some of them to accept me, including Marin. But it all just seemed to work out, and then when Marin was taken by the poachers and I was able to help rescue him, his feelings softened for me." 142


"And Gareth?" "Oh, we're still friends. He told me once that his dream was to see a human city, so with Marin's permission, the three of us went to town one day and Gareth got to see what it was like. He enjoyed it, but you know, he's never asked to go back. I think he's perfectly content to be home." Anwen nodded without speaking, but she turned her head to gaze over at the meadow where the bears grazed. Her eyes searched the area until they settled on the one bear whose fur was reddish-brown. "Interesting," was all she said before she slipped away into the forest. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-Two **** Emma opened the door to the shanty and stepped inside. Her breath caught in her throat. Otto sat dressed on the edge of the bed, pulling his boots on. He looked up at her and scowled. "Where've you been?" Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she forced a smile to her face and closed the door behind her. "In the outhouse. My stomach has been upset." Then to change the subject, she walked over to the crib and picked up Elizabeth. "How is my girl this morning?" she laughed, lifting the toddler up to her face to plant a kiss on her cheek. The child giggled and held her mother tight. Otto stood up and walked over to join them. "Well, you're late and I'm hungry. We'd best get to the cookhouse and get breakfast for the men before they riot. Let's go." Emma sighed and nodded. Everything was going to be fine. She was sure now that he knew nothing, suspected nothing. He was only thinking of himself, as always, with not a care or concern about her 'upset stomach.' And at that moment it hit her, the realization that she no longer loved this man. Even being physically close to him made her sick to her stomach. She had to get away, and Elizabeth had to go with her. There was no way she could leave her child behind. She must come up with a plan to leave the camp, leave Otto, 144


but she had to be careful. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that if he discovered her plan to leave him, he will kill her. She shuddered at the thought of what he would do to her. Emma, she thought to herself, the only monster in these woods is the one you married. **** The day dragged by and she tried to keep her mind occupied by focusing on all the work she had to do. There was stew to prepare, laundry to be washed and hung to dry. Elizabeth needed a new dress and the muddy boot prints on their cabin floor needed to be washed away. But struggle as she may, her thoughts kept returning to one thing. Would Marowin listen to her warning? After lunch, she baked bread for the supper meal and returned to her sewing while Elizabeth napped. The few hours of afternoon quiet gave her time to think of how escape could be effected. It would have to be accomplished while the men were far out in the woods, perhaps when the horses dragged the logs to the river to be floated downstream. It was difficult and time-consuming work that might give her the opportunity she needed. There was only one road through the forest that led to the camp and she would need a huge head start to avoid Otto catching up to her. Maybe she could take one of the extra horses. A door slammed and she startled alert. The men were done working and had returned for supper. Dropping her sewing, she rushed to set their plates on the long table and dish up the food. She had to act as is nothing was amiss; 145


even the slightest misstep would alert her husband that she was up to something. She played her part beautifully, serving up the food as she always did, keeping their glasses filled. Their banter filled the air and she nodded dutifully at their demands. Supper passed smoothly and when they had finished, the loggers went outside to smoke around the fire while she cleaned up. Savoring the peace and quiet once more, she complemented herself for her successful ruse. But peeking out the door to watch as the men cleaned their rifles in preparation for their hunt, her elation disappeared. Tonight would determine if her courage had paid off. Had Marowin listened to her and gone somewhere safe? She said a silent prayer that God would protect him. Then knowing she could do no more, she took her child into her arms and walked back to her cabin for the night. **** Otto packed his water flask into one pocket and extra bullets in the other. The bullets probably weren't necessary, he reasoned, since between them, the men had plenty of ammunition. Better safe than sorry, he cautioned himself. The men finished their preparations and nodded their readiness to go. With Otto leading the way, they made their way into the forest. There was little conversation among them; most were thinking about the challenge ahead and what kind of creature they might encounter. Was it truly capable of turning from man to beast? The Indian legends were clear about this man-bear and his strength and cunning. 146


The tribe left him alone, preferring to stay out of his way than to try to fight him. The loggers wondered if the Indians knew more than they were letting on. No one had a clue as to where they might find this strange creature, but Otto deducted that the spot where Axel had been attacked was as good a place to start as any. The men made their way to that area and cautiously advanced; their rifles loaded and close at hand. Fanning out in a line, they swept through the forest, advancing quickly. They wanted to get this done and over with before darkness fell, knowing that a creature of the forest would have an advantage over them at night. They kept each other in sight as they walked, making sure that no man wandered off on his own. There was strength in numbers and they were confident that there was no way a lone monster could escape them. The sun had sunk low on the horizon when one of the men let out a soft whistle. Everyone froze in their tracks and looked toward him. He motioned with his head at something in the brush ahead of them. Slowly the group advanced, no one speaking, rifles to their shoulders. A huge bear was grazing on spring plants. His tongue lapped out, licking up bugs and berries and whatever food he could find. With fur so dark and thick, he almost disappeared among the shadows of the trees as darkness fell, but Otto's eyes were trained on him. It was the biggest bear he had ever seen, and Otto had seen many of them since joining the lumber camp. They were almost a daily sight, but since they usually caused no harm, 147


they were never seen as a threat. But this was different. He was sure that a bear of this enormous size could only be the creature they sought. And if this was the man-bear that had killed Axel, he must not be given the chance to change form and attack them as a man. "Fire!" Otto yelled. Bullets flew, shredding leaves and whistling through the air as they found their target. The bear cried out as the first bullet struck its shoulder, but the next bullet found its mark. The bear fell to the ground on its side, dead. Hesitant to lower their weapons, the men cautiously advanced and stood in a circle around the creature. Erik stuck his foot out and nudged the animal with the toe of his boot. It didn't move. They watched it carefully for a while longer, afraid that some mystical power might cause the life to return to it, but it soon became clear that the bear was really dead. "We got him," Otto said with a sigh of relief. He turned to Erik and nodded. "We killed the son-of-a-bitch." "Let's take a souvenir," someone suggested. Otto stooped over and withdrew a hunting knife from the sheath attached to his belt. Slashing quickly through the carcass, he stood up with one front paw in his hands. "If this is the hand that grabbed Axel by the neck, it will never grab anything again," he laughed, holding the paw high for all to see. The men cheered and slapped each other on the back, congratulating themselves on their successful hunt. Now there would be no more mysterious beast threatening them. 148


They could relax and concentrate on their work again. The bear man was dead. Darkness had fallen by the time they returned to camp. Gathering by the fire, they opened a flask of whiskey and toasted to their success. It was a good night and a job well done, they boasted, celebrating the thrill of the hunt. Otto drank heavily, too pleased with his success to care about the roaring headache he knew he'd wake up with in the morning. It didn't matter because this moment was too important not to celebrate. There would be no more lumbermen killed in this camp. Bidding his comrades good night, he stumbled away to his cabin and threw open the door. Startled by the noise, Emma sat up in bed and blinked her eyes. Otto stood in the doorway with a lantern in one hand and something in the other. He shuffled across the floor and stood by the side of her bed, staring down at her. The lantern light lit the area around them in a soft yellow glow, illuminating the thing in his hand. He held it up to show her and then threw it at her, cackling as she screamed and backed away in horror. The paw landed in her lap and she screamed again. Otto laughed. "You'll not be meeting your man-bear in the woods anymore," he hissed. Emma closed her eyes and tried to shut the image out of her mind, but it was too much to handle. Her mind fogged and her head began to spin. She didn't know up from down. Consciousness slipped away and she fell back on the bed in a dead faint. 149


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Chapter Twenty-Three **** As the days passed, the two clans slowly learned to accommodate each other. It was a process for all of them, because it was rare for different clans to occupy the same territory. Occasional disputes broke out and were quickly handled by their two Guardians. Peace was imperative for the survival of them all. There were personality clashes, to be sure. As the shebears of Marin's clan were drawn to the he-bears of Anwen's clan, Anwen's she-bears became competitive. Anwen reminded them that this had been part of the agreement. After all, how could Marin's clan increase their numbers unless Anwen's clan provided mates for them? Grumbling their acceptance, Anwen's females watched forlornly while their he-bears wandered off to become familiar with Lilia, Lena and the others. Mating hadn't happened yet, but as spring advanced, their primal urges were growing stronger. It was only a matter of time before couples would pair up in their quest to produce young. Marin watched with satisfaction as the females of his clan mingled with the new he-bears. There was no doubt in his mind that next spring many new cubs would be welcomed into the world. He thought back to his own days as a cub with Thoren, his friend and mentor, by his side. Thoren had taught him everything he needed to know, and all the skills that had 151


made Marin such a good Guardian. He wished that Thoren had lived to see this extraordinary day. Anwen ambled over and sat down beside him, amused by his rapt attention to the clan members' interactions. "I'd say your idea to combine clans was a success." She watched the other bears for a moment longer before turning her attention to Marin. He still hadn't looked at her or acknowledged her presence. "Marin?" she said, demanding his attention. He shook his head and looked at her. "Sorry. I was just thinking about things." "What things?" He slid down to rest his belly on the ground and stretched his big paws out before him. The emerging grass fell cool and soft against his skin, triggering more memories. But these he would not share with Anwen." "Guardian?" Her voice grew impatient, demanding that he pay her the attention she deserved. Finally forcing the memories out of his mind, Marin focused on her. He knew why she was here, knew what she wanted. He didn't want to deal with it right now, but there was no escaping the fact. It was his duty to ensure that a new Guardian would be raised to protect future generations. He had successfully united the clans; now it was his obligation to safeguard its future guardianship. But his only wish at the moment was to postpone the inevitable. "There is something we must discuss," Anwen said brusquely, perturbed by his obvious reluctance to acknowledge her. 152


But try as he might, one face kept emerging in his mind. He could see her, sense her, smell her, even though she was miles away. His heart pounded at the thought of her, of how they had made love and cared for each other like any two humans in love. She had bravely faced him, taken him on, and stolen his heart, regardless of the dual nature that made him what he was. She would die for him, and he knew it. Marin swallowed hard and his head sank toward the ground. Though he tried as hard as he could to convince himself, he could not ignore the fact that he was a bear first and a man second. His true nature was the bear; it was the way he had lived all his life. It was his duty to guard his clan and to provide for their future. He had seen them born. He had seen them die. After all that they had been through, how could he neglect his duty now? Anwen grunted with disgust. It was clear that Marin wasn't going to address the situation right now, so what was the point of wasting her time? There were other things she could be doing, and she had one particular thing in mind anyway. She walked away, accepting the fact that Marin's mind was on someone other than herself. **** Anwen's head still shook with frustration when she walked to the other side of the meadow. Through the trees, she spotted just the diversion she needed. Gareth stood on his hind legs, scratching his back against the rough bark of a tree. He stopped when she approached and nodded his head in acknowledgment of her visit. 153


"Guardian." "Gareth." She sat down at the base of the tree and nodded for him to do the same. When he was seated, she let her gaze travel up and down his body, examining every inch of him. His fur was a peculiar cinnamon-red color that was rather unusual, but attractive. He was solidly built, putting on muscle as a maturing bear should, and his eyes were large and honey-colored, another oddity. She wondered if it was this combination of traits that had made him the target of poachers. She raised her eyes to meet his. "Where were you shot?" He swung his shoulder toward her, showing off the slightly darker patch of fur that now ringed the healed bullet hole. "You'd never know unless you were looking for it," he said. She nodded her agreement and continued to stare at him. It seemed so strange to think that this bear had actually been with a human, been healed by a human, and lived to tell about it. She had thought long and hard about the history of the Bear People and realized that there had never been an instance where this had happened. It was unheard of, and she wondered if it had some special meaning. "What was it like...living with her?" Gareth struggled to hide his nervousness; he inhaled a slow deep breath and kept his face emotionless. Being questioned by a Guardian was not to be taken lightly, and because of what had happened to him, he believed that her interrogation was of major importance. He hoped that he wouldn't be forbidden to mate with one of her she-bears because of his past interaction with Lindy. 154


"Guardian," he said softly, hoping to influence her with his respect, "It was like nothing you could imagine. The pain of being shot, of being chased through the woods by hunters while you're losing blood, wondering if this will be your last day to live..." He looked away from her, afraid that the look in his eyes would give away the tremendous emotion he was struggling to keep under control. Anwen sat silently, allowing him time. She wanted to hear the story one more time- from his point of view. "I saw a building in the distance and I suppose I wasn't thinking clearly when I ran to it, but the only thing in my mind at that point was to get away from the humans pursuing me. I collapsed on the steps of the house. It was such a cold day, and I was in shock, I guess, because I shifted into manskin right then and there. I thought I would die like that." "The next thing I knew, human hands were helping me inside the building, helping me get warm by the fire. Then I shifted back and revealed our secret. Again I figured I was dead, but those same hands gave me water and food and cleaned my wound, even after she knew what I was." Anwen watched him as he grew silent and relived the memory; he was clearly moved by the treatment he had received. After giving him a few moments, she urged him to continue. Gareth looked at her and smiled. If she was going to judge him for what had happened, he may as well be honest about his part in it. After all, he owed it to Lindy for all that she had done for him. 155


"This may be difficult for you to understand, but we grew to be friends. Would've been more than friends, if I'd had my way." He watched her eyebrows rise at his words but she said nothing. "Lindy is not a typical human. Not at all. Even though she was terrified of me at first, she never hurt me. Ever. When she wanted to know more about the clan and what we are, I worried that she wanted to use the information to take advantage of us. But she didn't. She was just...curious." "When my shoulder healed, she asked if she could meet the clan and I agreed, probably against my better judgment. That's when Marin met us in the forest and almost killed her. If I hadn't put myself between them, she would have died. And it would have been the worst thing to happen to our clan." "Why is that?" "Because when we accepted Lindy as one of us, we accepted another true Guardian. She's proved her loyalty to us time and time again. She's risked her life many times to save ours. And she... she loves us. Just the way she would love other humans. There is no discrimination in her heart." Anwen chewed on her lip for a moment while she digested this information. His expressions, his voice, were full of emotion for this human, and she couldn't help but wonder... "Did you mate with her?" A wistful look crossed his face when he answered. He shook his head back and forth. "She cared for me, but she didn't want me that way. It was Marin. It has always been Marin for her." 156


Anwen nodded her understanding. She had all the information she needed now; there was no need to make him suffer further. They sat together for a while longer before Gareth excused himself and wandered away. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-Four **** The clan gathered around Marowin and stared at him, nervous about their course of action. It was rare for a clan to question their Guardian, but this unusual circumstance called for immediate action. Therlin motioned them to silence. His eyes focused on the face of his friend, dreading what was about to happen, but knowing that there was no alternative. Marowin looked at his kin all around him. "Get on with it," he growled. Therlin nodded. "Tell us what happened last night. How was our brother killed?" Murmurs of anguish rippled through the bears at the thought of their kin's death. His body had been found earlier that morning, riddled with bullets. Any death within the clan was terrible, but he was one of their strongest bruins and his loss was tragic. They needed to know what happened to him. Marowin cleared his throat and took a slow breath to calm himself. It was insulting and degrading to face a tribunal this way, but the fact remained that they had the right to question him. He was, after all, the clan's Guardian. "I was making my rounds this morning when I found his body." "What did you find at the scene?" "Boot prints...bullets. There must have been about a dozen humans." 158


"Could you tell how long he had been dead?" Marowin shook his head. "The warmth was gone from his body, but for how long, I do not know." One of the she-bears called out in anguish. "Is it true that he was mutilated?" "Yes," Marowin said softly, remembering the sight of the severed limb. It sent a shiver down his spine. "They cut off his paw." A chorus of wailing rose around him as the clan grieved for their lost kin. The murder was just another example of how humans treated their kind, and reinforced why the clan hated them so much. One of the older bruins stared at the Guardian, watching his face intently. It was obvious that Marowin was concerned about the murder, but there was something strange about the way he sat there so quietly. It was unsettling. "Where where you last night when our kin was killed?" he questioned. An indignant expression came across Marowin's face when he turned to look at him. "Do you expect me to be in all places at one time? Even a Guardian is incapable of that." "I mean no disrespect, Guardian. But it seems strange that the humans would come hunting this far in the forest, kill him, and then return to their camp without taking his body. Is it not customary that when humans kill for food, they take the body back with them?" Marowin said nothing for a moment, noticing his kin's growing interest in this line of questioning. His heart beat faster. "What is your point?" 159


He cocked his head, bothered by the Guardian's response. "You do not find it peculiar that they left Nevin's body but took only his paw? It seems to me that they did not come in search of meat, but in search of vengeance. And they left with proof of their success." The clan grumbled to each other, discussing this theory. They, too, found Marowin's response unusual. "What do you say, Guardian?" someone called out. "Why would they seek vengeance on us? We have done nothing." "I cannot predict what humans will do," he grumbled, swinging his head around to look at each of them in turn. "Must they have a reason for doing what they do? They are cruel and irrational, we all know that. I regret that Nevin was the object of their brutality, but there is nothing to be done. The best thing we can do is to stay as far away from them as possible." "Nothing we can do?" Grimar said. He rose on all four paws and took a step forward, his expression incredulous at the Guardian's words. "You are saying that we should not seek our own vengeance? That we should let the humans murder one of our own and suffer no punishment?" Every eye turned on Marowin. The clan was aroused in anger, furious that he seemed to be turning his back on his obligation to protect them. Marowin's gut churned at their reaction, at the sight of them on their paws and staring at him in accusation. His mind churned, trying to sort things out. "My fear is that the humans will kill more of us," he said, desperate to be free of 160


this inquisition. "How can we fight men with guns? We will just be brought down as our brother was." Therlin shot a look of disbelief at him. "We should do nothing...is that what you are saying, Marowin?" The Guardian nodded and took a deep breath. "Yes. I forbid the clan to go anywhere near the humans." Silent with shock, they clan could only stare at him and shake their heads in disappointment. Where was their Guardian, the bear who had defended and protected them all their lives? The old Marowin who would have already been on the trail of the humans, seeking vengeance against them? There was no answer to their questions and they stalked away, angrily discussing things among themselves. Only Therlin remained behind, his gaze on the Guardian who now sat with his head lowered in silence. He knew that something was terribly wrong. "Tell me the truth, Marowin. What has happened?" Marowin lifted his head up and glared at the older bear. "You dare question me?" Therlin walked over to Marowin and sat down beside him, his heart heavy with concern. "You are my Guardian, but I am your elder and deserve your respect. You will not treat me like a cub." Marowin remained silent. Sighing with frustration, Therlin lifted his paw and swiped at Marowin to get his attention, but he was ignored. "You are my friend, my kin. If there is something troubling you, you may speak to me of it. There is no need to carry your burden alone." 161


The words made his gut clench and Marowin opened his mouth, wanting to share everything with Therlin. But how could he, the one they looked up to, the one they trusted, how could he confess that he had betrayed his clan because he lusted for a human woman? How could he confess that one of his kin had died because of his crime? The horror of it was too much, too humiliating. He clamped his jaw shut and turned his head away, refusing to look into the face of his friend again. Therlin hung his head, feeling a heavy suspicion come over him. There had been quiet whispers among the clan about a human female coming deep into the forest, and murmurs about the possibility that one of their own kin might be the reason why. It seemed too absurd to be true, but now Therlin found it difficult to keep the thought from running through his mind again. Was Marowin the one she sought? [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-Five **** Emma took her berry pail and stumbled toward the woods, calling to Otto that she would find strawberries for the next morning's johnnycakes. He grunted in response and sent her on her way, glad to have her out of his sight for a while. Since he and the other loggers had returned from their successful hunt two nights before, she had been sullen and barely said a word, and he was growing tired of her bad mood. She walked without thinking, without caring where she was going. Her mind had become a whirlwind of pain since she'd learned of Marowin's death. She was cold, inside and out, sharing her emotions with no one except her daughter. Thank God for Elizabeth. The child was the only reason she was able to get through the day. Why hadn't Marowin listened to her? Did he think she was trying to trick him? Or was it simply because she was human that he had ignored her warning? She would never know the answer now. Guilt weighed so heavily on her that her legs felt as heavy as lead and her feet could hardly shuffle along the path. The pail fell from her hand and she sank to the ground in a heap. The tears started flowing, soaking the front of her blouse, but she couldn't stop. Her sobs came fast and hard until her shoulders shook with misery and the pain of her 163


loss. He shouldn't have meant that much to her, after all, he wasn't even human. But he was the one person who never hurt her, never even frightened her, despite what he was. She spread her skirt over the ground and curled up in a tight ball, knees drawn into her chest as if to keep the pain away, but if was no use. He was gone and it was her fault. She should have tried harder, should have made him believe her. She must have done something wrong, forgotten to say that one important thing to convince him. She had failed. She lay on the ground for a long time, heedless of the sun rising in the morning sky. The air grew warm and she was so tired, spent emotionally and physically. The fight in her was gone; she didn't know if she even had the strength to carry out her plan for escape. With her mind and heart heavy, she sank into troubled sleep. **** Emma opened her eyes and groaned. Every muscle in her body felt tense and knotted from sleeping in her curled-up position. Stretching her arms slowly outward, she pushed herself to a sitting position. Her eyes flew open. "Marowin?" He sat beneath a tree just yards away, watching her. "Is it really you?" she whispered. "You're not dead?" He shook his head. "I did not die." Overcome with relief, the tears started flowing again and she raised her hands to her face to wipe them away. "They told me you were dead," she sobbed. "Otto showed me a paw...I thought it was part of you." 164


Marowin's lips drew together in a grimace; the expression on his face was one of anger. "They killed one of my kin, a valued member of my clan." "I'm so sorry that they killed him, but I'm so thankful it wasn't you." He watched entranced as she swept the tears from her face. The wetness had made the blue of her eyes shine brighter than the clearest summer day, and when she finally smiled at him, her heart-shaped face was more beautiful than anything he had ever seen. He crawled closer and reached his hands toward her. "Emma..." he said, but his words faltered. She gulped down the lump in her throat and rose to her knees. Again he scooted closer, spreading his legs open to encompass her within them, his intentions clear. He wanted her next to him. She lifted her arms and laid her hands gently on his bare shoulders, willing herself to keep her eyes from his naked manhood. But he showed no self-consciousness, no shame about his nudity before her. She felt her cheeks flaming hot and red. "I... I thought that you ignored my warning. I thought you didn't believe me...because I'm human." "No, Emma, of course I believed you. Why would you risk your life to find me unless you felt obligated to repay me?" She tilted her head and looked at him from beneath halfclosed eyes. "Repay you? I don't understand." "Because I saved you from that man and rescued your child from the water, you felt it necessary to repay the debt. I am honored that you would do so." 165


Emma exhaled in frustration, shaking her head back and forth at the same time. "Do you think that's what it was... repaying an obligation? Marowin, I am grateful for everything you've done for me. But since I've met you, I've seen options for my life that I never knew existed. I have never been cared about by a man the way you've cared for me. You're the strongest man I've ever seen, but you never used it against me the way my husband has. When you speak to me, you don't insult me and make me feel as if I'm worthless. Every day since the first day I met you, I've gone to the forest, hoping to see you again. That's why I was there the day you saved me from Axel...I was looking for you." Stunned and unsure what to say, he could only gaze into her eyes. It was so wrong for him to be here with her like this, yet it felt so right. Suddenly he realized that he, too, had made many visits to the area near the camp under the pretense of keeping an eye on the humans when in truth, it was only one human he needed to see. His heart began thumping in his chest, beating so hard he was sure she could hear it. He couldn't move, couldn't speak as she placed one hand behind his head and drew him closer. Her head tilted and she closed her eyes, gently pulling his lips to hers. When they touched, he felt heat spread through him like lightning. It made his skin hot, his pulse race. Grabbing her, he wrapped his arms around her and lowered her to the ground, cradled in his arms. He was unsure what to do with her, unsure what she wanted, but he knew that this felt right. 166


Without hesitation, Emma pulled her skirt up and pushed her petticoat down. She heard a soft hiss escape from his mouth at the sight of her female flesh. When he didn't move, she softly touched his member and brought him to her. "Like this," she whispered, raising herself up to accept him. Marowin plunged into her and gasped. It was like entering a whole new world, a world of heat and pleasure and sensations that he never knew existed. "Emma," he groaned. She moved beneath him, feeling pleasure like she had never known before, either. Being with him was like being in a dream; there was no pain, just pure ecstasy. She ran her hands across his chest and down his arms, feeling every muscle and sinew in his powerful body. He held her close, matching each of her movements with his own as he explored her human body with fascination. She was so soft and warm, her body unlike anything he had ever seen before. Then he felt his body release inside her and he moaned, knowing that their coupling was over. He would have been content to let it go on forever. Emma sighed and watched Marowin draw back and collapse on the ground beside her. His body was slick with sweat and gleamed bronze in the glow of the sun. He was the most stunning man she had ever met and she knew then that she would give anything to be his. Realizing that her skirt was still askew, she pulled it back down over herself and sat quietly, absorbing what had just happened. She had just made love with a creature who wasn't even human, but whom she loved nonetheless. It 167


worried her that he was silent, too, laying beside her with his head down and his eyes averted. "Are...are you all right?" she asked. He nodded once and sat up, his legs crossed in front of him and his hands flat on the ground at his sides. The long black hair sweeping his shoulders had parted, revealing deep worry lines on his forehead. Wrinkles gathered at the corner of his mouth, betraying the turmoil that was bubbling inside of him. "Say something," she said. "Please." He looked up and gazed into her eyes, knowing that what he was about to say would hurt more than anything he'd ever felt before. But there was no choice; he had to say it. "Emma, this cannot happen. Our lives are different...our worlds at odds with each other. My life has been spent protecting my kin from humans. What would they think if they learned that I have now mated with one?" "I don't care what they'd think," she said, fighting to keep the trembling from her voice. "And I don't care what you are. I...I love you. I want you." Closing his eyes, he turned his head away and forced himself to be strong. He didn't have a choice— he was Guardian of the clan and his obligation was to his kin. His own desires meant nothing when the safety of his clan was involved. "I am sorry, but I can't." Emma watched grief-stricken as he rose to his feet and walked toward the forest. "Marowin!" she cried, reaching out for him. 168


He stopped. "Good-bye Emma," he said without turning around. Then he was gone. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-Six **** Lindy laid the diary in her lap and sobbed loudly. Yanking a tissue from the box on the coffee table, she dabbed at her eyes and then blew her nose, but the tears refused to stop flowing. Marin sat beside her and watched helplessly, unsure how to help. "Why are you crying?" he asked as he caressed her back with the palm of his hand. Her whole body shook from the intensity of her sobbing. "Because...he left her...and she loved...him," she stuttered through another round of sobs. Marin bent his head down to peer into her eyes, but her face was now covered by her hands. "But he had to. It was the right thing to do." He knew from the squealing cry she uttered that it was the wrong thing to say. His words made it worse. Cradling her in his arms, he stroked her hair and tried to calm her down. "Hush now, my love," he whispered over and over, willing her to grow calm in his embrace. They sat that way for a long time, their bodies so tight against each other that they could feel the other's heartbeats. His fingers continued to brush through her hair and then lingered on her neck. Her trembling lessened and finally she grew still. He kissed her cheek softly. "Better now?" 170


When she looked up, her face was red and swollen from her tears but she tried to force a smile to her lips. "Sorry," she said, sniffling once more. Pulling herself from his arms, she leaned back in the couch and exhaled loudly, exhausted from her tirade. "I didn't think it would affect me like this but sometimes I can feel Emma's pain as if she were part of me." She sighed in exasperation. "Pretty dumb, huh?" Marin leaned back beside her and crossed his arms over his chest, seeing the situation very clearly. "It's not dumb at all; in fact, it's our story, just in a different time and place. Their struggle to understand the feelings they were experiencing, and to reconcile such different lives... it's not lost on me. "Well, at least now we know how she came to be pregnant with his babies," she said, pressing the back of her hand to her forehead where a headache was beginning to throb behind her eyes. "I'm relieved to know that they were conceived in love and not...some other way." Marin turned his head to look at her, his eyes questioning. "Did you think that he would take her against her will?" "Before we started reading the diary, I didn't know what to think about their relationship. I could imagine all kinds of things happening between them." Marin sat up straighter and his voice went deeper when he spoke. "I have never approved of what my great-grandsire did, but I never believed for one moment that he would hurt a woman. I'm glad the diary proved my instincts right." Lindy reached over to the table and took a sip of brandy from her untouched glass. She shivered as the liquid warmed 171


her throat and then set it back down. Without looking at him, she asked the question that she dreaded asking. "So...is it done?" Marin bent over and took a sip from the same glass. He'd never tasted brandy before and he choked as the horrible tasting fluid seared his throat. He banged the glass back down on the table and wiped his lips on the back of his hand with disgust. "Is what done?" Still she couldn't look at him. "It." "I can't read your mind, Lindy. What are you..." "Did you screw her!" she said, too loudly. She whirled on the couch to face him, filled with sudden anger. "You know the words by now, don't you? Mate? Fuck? Hump? Impregnate?" Marin's mouth opened in shock at her rage. She was yelling at him and he had no idea why. "Calm down, will you please?" "No...I ...will...not!" she said, so emotional that her face was flushed bright red. A vein in her temple throbbed every time she took a breath. "Lindy!" he yelled back at her, trying to stop her meltdown, "I told you that I would let you know when it was going to happen. I'll keep my word. I promise you." "No," she cried, the tears falling once more. "Don't you see, Marin? You even said it best. Their story is our story. You and I are Marowin and Emma. He left her for his clan... and you'll leave me for yours. For Anwen. We both know it's true." Her words smashed through his heart like a bullet. But what could he say? 172


He didn't have a chance anyway because she jumped to her feet and stormed out the door, slamming it behind her. Marin dropped his head into his hands and groaned. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-Seven **** Lena and Lilia sat beside the stream, watching Notch and Honey splash in the sparkling water. It was a beautiful day, warm and bright, the perfect time to let the cubs have some fun. And it gave Lena herself a little time to relax, knowing that the cubs were going to be entertained for a while. They talked quietly for a bit, discussing the new members of the clan and trying to guess when their Guardians would mate. The impulse to couple was strong now, and slowly but surely, the bears were pairing up and wandering off to find privacy. It was a thrilling time because it guaranteed that spring would bring new cubs, and it had been a long time since the clan had seen so much potential. "Oh, oh," Lena said as her gaze flicked past Lilia toward the forest. "What?" "Don't look now, but here comes your favorite bear." A confused look crossed Lilia's face. "Who?" "Good morning, bear-kin," he said from behind her. Lilia knew immediately who it was: Finn. Lena had heard the story of his horrible comment to her friend and she felt the need to defend her. "What do you want?" she asked gruffly. "I would like to speak with Lilia." 174


Lena growled low in her throat. "I don't think she has anything to say to you." But Finn would not be deterred. "Well, there is something that I wish to say to her." Lena dropped her gaze to Lilia's face to seek an answer. Her friend paused for a long moment and then nodded. "It's all right, Lena." Lilia looked over her shoulder at him. "What do you want to say?" Finn cleared his throat, wishing that she was alone right now. He hadn't planned to make his statement in front of anyone but her, but apparently that wasn't going to happen. He took a deep breath. "I want to apologize for what I said to you the other day. It was appalling and insensitive." He waited for her to respond, but when she didn't, he continued. "Sometimes I start feeling sorry for myself and I vent my anger on those around me. I'm sorry I did it to you and I hope you'll accept my apology." Again he waited in silence for her to answer, but she remained silent. Having said all that he could, he sighed softly and turned to walk away. Lilia watched him take three steps before calling out to him. "What happened to your arm?" Finn froze in mid-step. He had expected her to yell at him, but not to ask this. "If you want my forgiveness, tell me what happened," she challenged. Dread settled over him as he turned to face her once again. Both Lena and Lilia watched him, their stares drilling into him. 175


"I'm waiting," Lilia said. Finn walked back to her and looked down into her face. His mouth began to tremble but he knew there was nothing he could do about it. The memory was still strong after all these years. "My sire was Guardian of our clan. I was a cub on the verge of adulthood and he was training me, preparing me for the time when I might need to fight a human. To our surprise, a human wandered into the forest just then and my sire told me to kill him." Finn took a deep breath and looked past their staring eyes toward the waterfall behind them. He couldn't bear to see their faces when they learned the truth. "I had never even seen a human," he continued. "But I was being ordered to kill one who was guilty of nothing other than being what he was. There was no reason for it, so I hesitated. And then I refused to do it. My sire was furious, of course, and then to make things worse, Anwen joined us. When she found out that I had refused, she saw her opportunity and attacked the human. She would gladly have killed him if I hadn't charged her and pulled her away. I saved the human's life that day." His eyes drifted back to Lilia's and the expression on his face was heavy with grief. "My sire was so angry... so disgusted with me that he attacked me. Anwen laughed while my own sire broke my arm into pieces, knowing that I would never be able to use it again. He said it wouldn't matter because Anwen had earned the right to be Guardian. He said I would be nothing to the clan except dead weight. He was right." 176


Finn's head lowered in humiliation and he grew silent. He knew that the she-bears were probably thinking what everyone thought when they heard his story: that he was a coward who deserved what he'd gotten. He just couldn't look at their faces while they thought it. "So that's what happened to me. I really am as pitiful as I look." He turned to leave. Lilia closed her mouth and tried to digest all that he had said. Now she knew why his clan had a female Guardian and why he was always bitter around her. And it explained Anwen's rude behavior toward him, always acting superior and making him walk a step behind her. Anwen was strong when he was weak. A smile came over Lilia's face and she rose to her feet. "I'll be back soon," she told Lena. She followed Finn as he walked slowly away. "Wait," she demanded. He slowed to a halt and prepared himself for her verbal assault. He'd heard it all before, many times, but it never got any easier. "Go ahead, say it." She walked past him and then turned around to face him, her nose close to his. She stood there staring at him until he reluctantly looked at her. "Your sire tested you and you failed." "Yes... I did." His eyes darted away from her face; it was too painful to watch her enjoy humiliating him. "And now you hate humans because they're the cause of this whole thing." 177


He didn't answer. He didn't need to. He took a step to the side and tried to walk around her. "Don't you leave," she ordered. He dropped his head and stopped again, wishing it was over. "You saved a man's life and gave up your own because of it. At least, the life you could've had." "Pretty pathetic, isn't it," he mumbled. Lilia moved beside him and rubbed her side softly against his, causing his head to rise and his eyes to seek hers questioningly. "This wouldn't have happened if you'd been part of our clan. Our Guardian isn't like your sire was. He would never kill a human for no reason." Finn held his breath, hearing but not daring to believe her words. The look on her face was not one of accusation but of understanding. He shook his head in confusion. "But I failed..." She smiled sweetly. "You did what you believed was right and just. You stood up to your convictions. I admire you for that. And I forgive you for what you said to me earlier." Finn didn't know what to say. No one had been as accepting of his failure as Lilia was. A smile crept across his face and he lifted his head higher, grateful for her mercy. It made him feel doubly bad about his comment to her. Lilia watched his gaze follow the path of her scar and knew what he was thinking. "You want to know what happened to me," she said, more statement than question. "I have no right to ask such a thing of you. It's none of my business." 178


She sat down on the grass before him and motioned with her paw for him to do the same. He hesitated, then quickly did as she asked, not wishing to sabotage the goodwill he had just earned from her. "You remember earlier when the clans met and we told you of how the devil bear came to us?" she began. "He was evil and sadistic; he kept Gareth chained to the floor of a cave and when Gareth refused to give him information that he wanted, I became his hostage. Lucien took a rock and cut me, even though Gareth told him everything he could and begged him not to hurt me." A shiver rippled through Finn, raising the fur on his neck in spikes. His eyes narrowed in disgust. "It's one thing to physically punish a he-bear, but to do such a thing to a shebear is..." He blew out a loud breath of air and shook his head angrily. "If I had been here, I would have done anything to stop him from hurting you." Lilia's eyes grew round at his words and Finn realized how stupid his statement must have sounded to her. "I'm sorry, I know you think I wouldn't have been any help. But I would have tried anyway." Her heart wrenched at the self-doubt obvious in his words. It was clear that all his life, he had been beaten down and taken advantage of by Anwen and the rest of their clan. It was eerie how much alike they were in their suffering at the hands of another. It had to end here and now. "That wasn't what I was thinking at all, Finn. When I look at you, I see more than just a bear with a useless arm. I see a handsome bear with three strong limbs. I hear an intelligent 179


bear speaking. And I've seen that you're an honorable bear. That's what I see when I look at you." Finn grew quiet and let her words soak in, savoring them like the sweetest honey of summer. No one had ever spoken that way to him and for once in his life, he felt like the bear that he would've become if fate hadn't played its awful trick on him. "So, um...have you been asked to mate yet?" Lilia asked. Her question caught him off guard and his answer choked in his throat. "I... uh..." His face warmed with embarrassment but he felt the need to be honest with her. She deserved it. "The truth is, no one has ever asked to be my mate. Why would they bother with me when we have so many fourlimbed he-bears in my clan?" Lilia nodded, not the least surprised by his answer. It was natural for a she-bear to want the strongest and smartest hebear to mate with, just as she had always wanted Marin. But now she was seeing things from a different perspective and it was becoming clear that other assets could matter too. Things like compassion and honesty. And Finn had both of those. Her mouth rose in a flirty smile and she nudged his side with her own as she stood up. "Well, we'll just have to see what we can do about that. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-Eight **** Emma sat in her chair and watched Elizabeth play with the rag doll she had made for her. She was such a happy child, blissfully ignorant of the turmoil all around her. Emma was grateful for that. The last thing she wanted was for her own despair to affect her child. The nausea that had been plaguing her for several days returned and Emma rubbed her hand over her belly, hoping to ease the discomfort. A feeling of anxiety came over her as she counted the days since her last bleeding cycle and forced herself to admit that it had been far too long. She was overdue and she knew why. She was pregnant. And the worst part was that she knew it wasn't her husband who had fathered the child. Emma recalled the exact date of her last lovemaking with Otto because it was the day before Axel was killed. Over two months ago. And now, suddenly, her woman's time was late and she was suffering from morning sickness. She knew there was no getting around it: she was carrying Marowin's child. She didn't know whether to cry with happiness or terror. When Otto found out, would he realize that the babe couldn't be his? She couldn't even fathom the fury he would unleash on her, knowing that she had been unfaithful to him. After all, wasn't that what he was always accusing her of? 181


And who would help her deliver the baby when the time came? The nearest midwife would be a hundred miles away in Minneapolis. Emma suspected that even if one were nearer, Otto wouldn't go to the trouble of fetching help for her. She doubted that he would even ask Erik, the camp's horse doctor, to assist her in the delivery. One thing was certain, she didn't want to be all alone when the baby came. A cold sweat broke out as she tried to envision the child. What would it look like? Would it look so obviously different from Otto or herself that he would know that someone else had lain with her? Would the child even be human? Her fear grew, she began to shake and grabbed on to the armrests of the chair to steady herself. Dear God, what if the child was born in animal form, covered with fur and bearing fangs? It would look like the spawn of the Devil himself and the lumbermen would certainly shoot both herself and the baby out of superstitious fear. Her mind clouded with horror and she sat there trembling, not knowing what to do. Maybe it would be best if she went to the river and drowned herself and her unborn child. But Elizabeth...how could she leave her helpless child in the care of her cold, unfeeling father? There had to be another way, she reasoned. And then it came to her. She and Elizabeth would leave Otto and seek haven with Marowin. When he learned that he had fathered this child, he would shelter and care for them until the child was born. He was an honorable man, she believed that. Maybe he didn't 182


have any children; maybe this would be a blessing for him. Perhaps he would accept Elizabeth as his own, too. As much as she wanted to believe it, she couldn't quite talk herself into it, because that would be the fairytale ending, the kind where the prince rescues the princess and they live happily ever. But this wasn't a fairy tale and Marowin wasn't a price. He was a creature of the forest, who changed his shape and killed humans who threatened his kind. He was an animal and his seed was in her. Emma thrust her hand against her mouth to keep from crying out. Whom could she trust? She felt so alone here in the camp, so vulnerable. She had to tell someone and place her trust in him. Otto was the husband she had promised to love and obey, but how could she do those things when she doubted that he had ever even loved her? She was just a tool to help him in his quest to become rich. And of one thing she was convinced: if he discovered that Marowin was still alive and had lain with his wife, he would never rest until he had killed them both. Marowin. Thank God he survived. Even with her guilt over what they had done, she was glad it had happened. Her mood brightened and her hand drifted to her stomach again in a gentle caress. She smiled to herself while she thought about her time with Marowin and realized that they had been the most fascinating moments of her life. He was frightening, thrilling, and magnificent all at the same time. What would his people think if he brought her among them, she wondered. 183


Would they realize that she couldn't hurt them and accept her into their midst? She laid her head against the back of the chair and sighed, still undecided about her course of action. Of one thing she was certain: she had to do something, and do it soon. The lives of her children and herself depended on it. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Twenty-Nine **** Marin sat alone on the guardian rock and stared off into the distance, oblivious to the two clans resting in the shade of the trees. His mind was in turmoil, milling over his last conversation with Lindy. He had to admit that he was still naive when it came to understanding the emotions of humans, and female humans in particular. As much as he liked to think that he had everything under control, it had become quite clear that the opposite was true. He knew nothing. After all the time he had spent with Lindy, he still couldn't figure her out. She had pledged her commitment to the safety of the clan. And personally, she had promised him that she would accept him as he was, for what he was, knowing that he was first and foremost a bear. His world was not her world. And he was beginning to wonder how they could possibly combine them both to make a life together. It was at times like this when he wished more than anything that Thoren was still alive. If only he could turn to his old friend and ask his advice, he was sure Thoren would have had an answer to this problem. But now with his friend gone, he didn't know who to turn to. He was Guardian, he was supposed to know these things, but he felt like a fraud. He didn't know any more than any other member of his clan. 185


And yet he couldn't deny his love for Lindy. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and certainly the most complicated. The thought brought a smile to his face for a moment, but it quickly disappeared, replaced by a fear that he had never experienced before: what if she simply tired of him and his dedication to the clan and told him she didn't love him anymore? The thought brought an ache to his heart and without thinking, he touched his paw to his chest. Was it possible? Could she become so frustrated by his lack of total commitment to her that she would rather live without him? He groaned at the mystery of it all. Why did it always seem that when one part of his life was finally going smoothly, another part fell to pieces? Suddenly noticing his paw over his heart, he set it down and let his head droop. He had to do something to figure this out and to find a solution that made everyone happy. He'd never forgive himself if he lost Lindy. A commotion in the meadow caught his attention and he looked up to see Gareth and Anwen laughing in the distance. Marin shook his head, amazed by how easily Gareth seemed to get along with females. It came so effortlessly for him, it seemed, and made Marin a tad jealous that he found it so difficult. Then an idea came to him. He sat up and called out to Gareth, asking him to come over and speak with him. Gareth approached the rock and looked up at Marin, wondering if he would be reprimanded for being with Anwen. "What is it?" he asked with trepidation. 186


Marin cleared his throat and tried not to look embarrassed, but he couldn't help but feel ashamed for having to make this request. "Gareth, I...uh...could use some...advice." Gareth's eyes almost popped out of his head. "You need my advice?" Marin nodded, having trouble getting out the words. "Um, yes." This was not something Gareth had ever expected to hear and he paused a moment to wonder what on earth Marin would ask him about. But this was his friend and mentor pleading for his help and he would do his best to give it. "Ask what you will, then," he said. Marin looked down at the ground, preferring not to look into Gareth's eyes when he discussed this. It was just too humiliating. "Lindy and I have been having some...difficulties. In our relationship." Gareth's breath caught in his throat momentarily; he was stunned to hear this news, and more stunned that Marin would admit it. "Why?" "It's complicated, trying to share a life when we're so completely different from each other. She gets so angry with me sometimes." "But she loves you. She always has." Marin sighed, happy to hear him confirm that. "But I wonder if she'll stop loving me because of things I do for the clan." Gareth shook his head, confused by Marin's words. "What things?" 187


"I told her that as Guardian, I was obligated to provide an heir so there would be a new Guardian for the next generation. I explained to her that it was our way and that my mating with Anwen meant nothing to me emotionally. But she doesn't seem to understand that; in fact she said as much, screaming at me that I would end up leaving her for Anwen and the clan, which is ridiculous. I don't understand why she doesn't believe me." He shook his head and his expression grew glum. "Gareth, you and Lindy have been friends for a long time. You know her, you've talked to her. Can you tell me why she's so afraid?" Gareth grew quiet while he reflected on this. It was true, he and Lindy had spent much time together over the last year. They had shared their hopes and dreams, and comforted each other's fears. He thought back to the day they had first met and began rehashing the memories, trying to recall the things she had said to him. She was an emotional creature, full of fire and spunk, but also one wounded by those close to her. Gareth exhaled loudly as the memory he sought finally came to him, and he looked up at Marin. "I think I understand. Do you remember why she came to live in the cabin by the lake?" He shook his head. If he had ever heard why, it had been a long time ago. "I remember her telling me that she had been born in this area but moved away when she mated...married...her husband. They made a life together somewhere far away, but he mated with someone else and she was upset about it. At 188


the time, I didn't understand why it mattered because I was looking at it from my point of view. We change mates, so why shouldn't her husband? But after spending time with her, after living in her cabin with her, I began to see it from her point of view." "Meaning..." "Humans are so much more emotional than we are. They take things more seriously. Did you know that humans search all their lives and when they find their one special mate, they perform a ceremony and pledge themselves to each other?" "I've heard of such a thing." "It's one of the most important events in a human's life, this marriage ceremony. They promise to love each other until they die. But if you remember, Lindy's mate stopped loving her and mated with another woman. Lindy said that his betrayal was the worst thing that ever happened to her; it hurt her so much she felt like her life was over. The only thing she could do was to return to the place where she was born and try to begin again." Marin grimaced at the thought rolling around in his mind. "Are you saying that she thinks of me as that one special mate?" Gareth nodded. "I think so." "But we haven't done a marriage ceremony. We haven't promised our love to each other." "Maybe in her mind, you have. I mean, Sweet Mother Earth, Marin. After all the warnings and threats you gave us about not doing it, you mated with a human! Don't you think that means something to her? And now here comes Anwen, 189


and all of a sudden you put Lindy aside and tell her that you're going to mate with another woman. Don't you see? It's the same thing that happened to Lindy before. She doesn't want to be hurt like that again. She trusts you. She believes that if you love her, why would you hurt her like that?" Guilt flamed in his stomach until he felt sick because he knew that Gareth was right. Lindy had practically told him as much, and he had brushed it aside as if her feelings were meaningless. In his insistence to be true to his clan, he was hurting the one thing he loved most: her. Marin sank to his belly on the rock and laid his head on his paws, horrified by the way he had treated her. She was the clan's Protector, their friend, his mate. And he had wounded her as surely as if his claws had slashed open her heart. "Marin," Gareth said. His voice was low and serious. "Lindy has risked everything for us. She was almost killed for us. And she risked losing her heart again when she took a chance on loving you. She turned me away because she wanted you." He stopped and drew in a quivering breath, his face now hot with anger. "Don't you hurt her because if you do..." He swiped at Marin with his trembling paw and stared him firmly in the eyes. "If you do, I swear I will kill you." He walked away without giving Marin a chance to reply. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirty **** "One more time," she whispered softly to herself. "One more time, and then you'll be free." Closing the cabin door quietly behind her, Emma headed back into the forest, trying to follow the approximate path she had taken the first time. The night was colder, darker than before, with no moon. It was so pitch black that she lost her footing and stumbled over dead wood in the path. She bit her lip to keep from crying out and forced herself back to her feet. She had made her decision and now she would see it through. She would rather die or live alone than stay with the abusive monster that her husband had revealed himself to be. He could go to Hell for all she cared. Brushing the dirt off her coat, she swept her hand across her belly. It was just beginning to swell and would soon give away her condition, and she knew that she couldn't wait any longer and risk Otto discovering her secret. Once she was well away from the camp, she lit the lantern she had hidden and held it before her to light the way, thankful that she had thought to bring a light this time. It helped to chase away the gloom surrounding her in the depths of the woods, and to find her footing. She wanted no harm to come to this precious baby because of a stupid tumble. 191


Looking around carefully, she thought she remembered the way and continued on her path. An hour passed, then two, and it dawned on her that nothing looked the same as before. A boulder here, a stream trickling over there...none of it was familiar. A panicked feeling began to grow at the realization that she was lost. "Marowin?" she cried as she turned in a circle to look around her. There was no answer. "Marowin, can you hear me?" she cried again. An owl hooted somewhere in the distance but no voice replied to hers. Pulling her coat tighter around her against the chill of the air, she started walking again, not caring where she was going. Anything was better than standing here, lost and alone. She followed the bank of the stream for a while, then stopped and set the lantern down. She knelt and dipped her hands to the water for a drink. Her throat felt parched from the walking. She shook the dampness off her hands and leaned forward to push herself upright when she saw something on the opposite bank. Slapping her hand over her mouth to keep from screaming, she hunched motionless, hoping that he hadn't seen her. He had. The man splashed through the water and sprinted toward her, his eyes glued to her like a wolf to a deer. Emma screamed and scrambled to her feet, but slipped on the grassy bank and crashed back down to her knees. Hands grabbed her arms and yanked her to her feet. She tried to 192


scream but one of the hands rose to her mouth and slammed over it. "Silence!" the man demanded as he pinned the struggling woman against him. She wriggled and kicked but she was no match for his strength. "Stop fighting. I will not harm you." Her heart thumping furiously in her chest, Emma fought as hard as she could but there was no way out of his grip. She wasn't going anywhere. Defeated and exhausted, she went limp against him. When the man turned her around to face him, she realized that she had seen him before and she gasped. He was one of the Indian men who came to the logging camp on occasion trying to sell wild rice or furs. She didn't know his name but she'd seen him enough to know that he was friendly. He removed his hand from her mouth. "I've seen you," she said, trying to control the shaking in her voice. "You've come to the camp." He nodded and loosened his grip on her, not wanting to frighten her more than he already had. "You are the cooking woman." "My name is Emma, if you don't mind. Not Cooking Woman." He chuckled softly and then pointed to himself. "I am HeWho-Watches." She swept more dirt off her hands and scowled at him. "I'd say 'pleased to meet you' but I'm not. You almost scared me to death."

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"Lucky for you I found you before the panthers did," he teased, knowing it would get her flustered again and make her grateful for his presence. She looked around quickly. "Panthers?" "Why are you so far from the white man's camp?" he asked. She whirled back and looked up into his face. "I'm lost." "That I see. But why are you lost?" It was none of his business and she wasn't sure he'd believe her anyway. "I was looking for my...dog." The corner of his mouth rose in a smirk and he rubbed his fingers across his chin. "This dog, his name is Marowin?" So he'd heard her calling. Her eyes widened but she forced herself to remain calm. "Yes. Yes it is." He-Who-Watches studied her carefully. There was no question that she was a beautiful woman, dainty yet feisty. He could understand what Marowin found so attractive about her. He raised his head to look down his nose at her. "Is he a big black dog? Shaggy?" Emma gulped and nodded without speaking. It was becoming clear that this man knew exactly what she was doing out here. "Have you...have you seen him?" He paused a moment to weigh his answer carefully, knowing that Marowin had gotten himself into enough trouble without He-Who-Watches adding more. Finally he sighed and nodded his head, his face grim. "Why do you seek him?" Emma twisted the hem of her sleeve nervously in her fingers, unsure what to say. Should she tell the truth or make 194


up some lie? The man seemed to know so much already that maybe lying to him would be foolish. Maybe he wouldn't help her if he believed that she was treacherous. She licked her lips and made her decision. "I need to tell him something. Something important." "Is he in danger?" She shook her head. "It's nothing like that. It's...personal." He felt his eyes widen with curiosity but his caution remained in control. "Does he want to see you?" "I...I think he would want to know this," she said quietly, emotion creeping into her voice. "Will you please help me?" He picked up the lantern and held it high. Moisture had come to her eyes, making them bright blue even in the darkness, and his heart skipped a beat at the look of desperation in them. Whatever she needed to tell him was apparently worth risking her life and safety. And anyway, Marowin could send her away if he wished. He sighed and put his finger to his lips. "Follow me. Keep silent." They turned around and crossed to the other side of the stream, following a path that seemed obvious to the man but invisible to Emma. She realized that she would never have found her way to Marowin and said a silent prayer of thanks that this man had found her. After walking for what seemed an eternity, they came to a stop at the bottom of a hill. It looked no different from any other part of the forest but the man looked carefully around before setting the lantern down. He seemed satisfied and 195


then cupped his hands around his mouth, uttering a hoot that mimicked an owl. Emma jumped, realizing that it was the same sound she had heard earlier in the night, closer to camp. Had he been following her? She was just about to say something when there was movement in the bushes around them. Outside the reach of the lantern light, it was difficult to distinguish one thing from another but it quickly became clear what was making the noise. Emma took a step back as a black bear appeared out of the darkness and came toward them. Behind her, another bear emerged from the bushes, and one more from the left side. Soon they were surrounded by a circle of growling bears. "Oh dear God," she breathed, grabbing onto the man's arm for security. He ignored her and said something in his language, keeping his voice calm and steady. She realized that he was speaking to the bears, showing a familiarity that surprised her. How could he speak to bears and how did they understand him? The first bear that had emerged from the bushes took another step forward and stared up at the man, cocking his head as if questioning. He raised one paw and then slowly pushed his whole body off the ground. Emma gasped at what she saw. The man's body transformed before her eyes, limbs lengthening and thinning to become arms and legs, paws changing into hands. Black fur disappeared beneath golden skin, ears shifted lower, nose 196


shortening. But the eyes...the eyes were the same and they stared at her in anger. "Why are you here?" Marowin demanded, stepping closer. His voice was low and forceful. Emma cowered behind He-Who-Watches, so frightened that her whole body shook. She couldn't find her voice. "Emma," he said as he stepped around the man and grabbed her arm in his hand. "Why are you..." But when he felt her trembling and saw how her face had gone pale, his heart softened and he realized that she was in shock. He motioned to the man and together they helped her sit down on the ground. Marowin cradled her in his arms and laid his chin softly on the top of her head. In the days since they had parted, he had thought often about their mating and he missed her so much, it was impossible to remain angry with her. "You are safe now, Emma. Do not be afraid. I am here." Feeling the familiar strength of his arms around her, she looked up into his eyes and laid her palm tenderly against the side of his face. What she had seen was impossible, that this face could also belong to a bear, yet she knew it was the truth. He was the Bearwalker, the man-bear of the forest. And he was the father of her unborn child. "Marowin, there's something I need to tell you." Her fingers caressed his face and traveled down across his broad shoulders, retracing her caresses from their time together. She wanted him so much. He took her hand and cupped it in his own, careful not to hurt her with his strength. She was so delicate and yet so 197


strong in her determination. He marveled that she had sought him out once again and realized that whatever had brought her here was of utmost importance. "What is it, Emma? Has he harmed you?" He could picture Otto hitting Emma, brutalizing her. "If he has hurt you..." "No, it's not that. It's..." She was suddenly so afraid, so fearful to voice the words that she had been rehearsing in her mind day after day. She had said them to herself so often that she thought it would be simple, but now that he was here, holding her, listening to her, she was assailed by doubt. But she hadn't come this far and risked this much to give up. She took a deep breath and steeled her resolve. "Marowin, I'm with child." He cocked his head, understanding her words but not their implication. He said nothing. "Do you understand, Marowin? You....you have given me a child. In here." She lifted his hand and placed it on her swelling belly. His eyes widened and he jerked backward in shock as the feel of the bulge beneath her dress made her words perfectly clear. His seed had created life inside of her, a bear-child inside a human woman. A strangled cry escaped from his lips and he turned his head away, horrified by what he'd done. This was worse than anything he could imagine. All his life, he had enforced the laws of the clan, laws meant to keep them safe and strong. He had killed countless humans when they became a threat to his clan. He had punished those of his kin who had disobeyed clan law and threatened their 198


survival. And now he had done the very thing he'd warned against. Marowin howled with anguish, more ashamed and humiliated than he had ever felt before. He felt the stares of his kin as they stood around him, listening to her devastating words. He felt the heat of their anger and disappointment, and their realization that the Guardian who was meant to protect them had betrayed them to their most dangerous enemy. "Marowin," Emma cried softly, horrified by his reaction. She had expected him to be surprised, maybe even shocked, but she was not prepared for this. She reached out for him and was stunned when he drew further away. "But I thought..." He growled at her and shook his head furiously. "No more. I will hear no more from you, human." Her mouth opened but no words formed. Emma dropped her hands to the ground and looked up at He-Who-Watches, desperately searching his face for help. But his expression was emotionless, the face of one who would not be put in the middle of a confrontation. She swung her head toward Marowin again and rose to her knees; her voice trembled with frustration when she spoke. "I need your help. I can't stay with Otto any longer or he'll know about the child. He'll hurt me, and I don't doubt that he would even hurt Elizabeth. Help me, Marowin. Let me stay here with you; you can keep us safe. When the baby is born, you'll be his father and we'll raise him together..." 199


"Enough!" Marowin yelled, swinging his huge body toward her threateningly. He clambered to his knees and grasped her upper arms so hard she whimpered, but he only squeezed her tighter. His eyes drilled into hers as he thrust his face toward her. "You do not understand!" he hissed, heedless of the tears seeping down her cheeks. "I am not like you. I am not human." "But you did take me in the forest and you are the father of this child, whether you will admit it or not," she hissed right back, fury replacing fear. "Will you ignore your own child?" Marowin released her arms and pushed her away, then motioned for He-Who-Watches to pick her up. "Take her back to her people and leave her there," he commanded. Nodding his understanding, the man bent over and helped Emma to her feet. She swayed for a moment while she tried to get her bearings and he held her arm gently, knowing it would be bruised from Marowin's rough grasp. She didn't move until he pulled her with him, and even then she went stubbornly, her gaze never leaving Marowin. One by one, the bears in the circle departed until only Marowin remained. He stood tall with his arms crossed over his chest, his head held high in defiance. He said nothing. As He-Who-Watches dragged her away from the lantern light and into the darkness of the forest, she craned her neck to look back over her shoulder at Marowin one more time. "I loved you," she said before He-Who-Watches dragged her away. 200


When they were gone, Marowin stared down at the lantern and the glowing yellow light. It was the same color as her hair. He kicked his foot out and shattered the glass, uttering a cry that roared from the depths of his soul. When the light was extinguished, he sank to the ground and sat with his head lowered, grateful that no one could see the moisture seeping from his eyes. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirty-One **** Gareth knocked on the door and waited. In times past, he would have been so anxious to see her that he would have been fidgeting on the doorstep, but today he was strangely calm. Lindy opened the door and grinned. She stepped outside and threw her arms around him, thrilled by his unexpected visit. "Hi, come on in." He followed her inside and made himself comfortable at the kitchen table while she took a seat on the opposite side. There were nuts in a bowl in the middle of the table and he reached over to help himself, feeling just as at home here as he always had. Popping one in his mouth, he looked around at the place he'd become so familiar with. Lindy's huge German Shepherd dog, Gunther, trotted in from the other room and plopped his head into Gareth's lap. "Still have your wolf, I see," Gareth said with a scowl. Since bears and dogs just didn't belong together, he pushed the dog's head carefully out of his lap. Gunther whined and walked around the table to plop his head into Lindy's lap. "You never will like my dog, will you?" she laughed as she popped a nut into her own mouth. "Nope. It's just not natural. It's like asking a mouse to like the snake that's about to eat it." 202


Lindy shook her head and gazed fondly at the man across from her, recognizing the changes in him since the day he had collapsed on her porch. That day, she'd taken a frightened and insecure young shape shifter into the warmth of her home. He had been weak and afraid. Now he was confident and assured, strong and smart, living to his full potential. She looked at him steadily, noticing that his eyes glowed. When he saw her watching him, he grinned. "What?" "You just look...happy." A blush came over his cheeks, almost matching the cinnamon red of his hair, and his grin grew bigger. "I met someone." "You met someone? As in a female someone?" Her eyebrows rose in curiosity. He nodded and swallowed down another nut. "As in a she-bear someone?" "Yep." Lindy scrunched her lips together in confusion. "What about Sara?" "Sara who?" She put her hands on the kitchen table and leaned toward him. "Sara...my sister." It took a moment to register and when it did, Gareth put his palm to his forehead. "Ooooo, that Sara. I guess I forgot about her." Lindy leaned back in the chair again and cocked her head to look at him. This wasn't like the old Gareth at all. The old Gareth had been crazy about her sister. "Ok, that's strange." 203


"Sorry, Lind. I liked your sister but I don't think it would have worked out. I mean, with her being off at school and me here." "And besides, you've met someone new," Lindy added to make him feel guilty. He shrugged sheepishly. "It was unexpected, believe me. Meeting someone special was the last thing that I thought would happen." "Yeah, I know that feeling," she grunted in reply. Gareth watched her expression turn grim and his heart ached for her. She was his first love and he would always care about her. That's why he was here. He cleared his throat. "Marin told me about your...problems." "Oh man," she groaned, dropping her forehead onto her arms. "I can only imagine what he said." Gareth reached across the table to stroke her hair tenderly, as he had many times before. It always made them both feel better. "Lindy, look at me." Finally raising her head, she propped her chin on one hand and sighed loudly, unsure if she even wanted to talk about this. "Ok, let's hear it." "He came to me and asked my advice. Can you believe it? He asked me for advice." His head shook in amusement. "Anyway, he was real upset, real emotional. He said that there was trouble in your relationship and he didn't understand why." "Figures."

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"But he wanted to understand, wanted to figure it out. He cares enough that he humbled himself to ask me what I thought." Her expression perked up at this but she didn't speak. "So I thought about all the things that you and I had talked about and I remembered you telling me about your first mate and how much he had hurt you. I suspected that you thought it was happening all over again and that this time it was Marin who was going to hurt you." She didn't say anything but from the look on her face, Gareth knew that he had assumed correctly. "I don't think he really understood how much it hurts a human when someone they love betrays them. He didn't understand that you think of his mating with Anwen as betrayal. To him, it's an accepted part of clan behavior. When he finally saw things from your point of view, he felt terrible about how he handled things with you. I've never seen him so depressed." "If he's so depressed, then why didn't he come here and tell me this himself? Why did he send you?" "He didn't send me. He doesn't even know I'm here. I came because you're my best friend, Lindy, and I don't ever want to see you hurt. I'd do anything to protect you from harm, even the harm of someone who loves you." A tear slipped from the corner of her eye and she lowered her head to her chest. "Does he love me?" she said so softly he had to strain to hear her. "Does he really?" Shivering with sympathy for the pain she was feeling, he rose and walked to her side, shooing Gunther away. Then he 205


stooped over and embraced her where she sat. "Of course he does." He waited for her to stop crying and then pulled up a chair to sit close to her. "You have no idea how confused he is. How torn he is between you and the clan. You see, it would be like asking a child 'who do you love most, your father or mother?' How do you decide something like that? Why should you have to?" Lindy gazed into his eyes and shuddered as the truth of his words hit home. Was that what she was doing...making him choose between his clan and her? All she wanted from him was to have the kind of relationship she'd always wanted. Then she realized... it was her version, the human version of a relationship that she demanded from him. And he couldn't give it. Seeing her realization in her eyes, Gareth kissed her cheek and brushed the wet hair from her face. He would never tire of feeling those soft strands against his skin. "He's afraid that you'll stop loving him if he can't give you what you expect from him. And Lindy, that would destroy him." Another tear fell down her face and she grasped Gareth tightly to her, so grateful for his compassion and concern. He was the truest, best friend she could ever have and she thanked her stars again that he had ended up on her porch that fateful day. "What should I do?" she asked, her eyes pleading for his advice. He grabbed her shoulders and moved his face so close that their noses almost touched. "Go to him and tell him... tell him 206


whatever is in your heart. And then believe that things will work out. Have faith in him." Gareth hugged her again and then stood up and walked to the door. He smiled the boyish smile that she had always loved. "Have faith in yourself, too." Then he winked at her and he was gone. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirty-Two **** Marowin's clan gathered at a spot away from their meadow, their meeting prearranged without their Guardian's knowledge and as one of their clan kept him occupied. This secret meeting was something that had never been done before because there had never been a need for it before. But now things had changed. Therlin cleared his throat and asked everyone to sit. He had no idea how long this meeting would last, no idea how to even go about discussing an issue like the one at hand, but they had turned to him for his advice and he couldn't disappoint them. Bear-kin," he said in bear-speak, "let us begin our discussion." He took a deep breath and began. "Never, in the history of our kind, have we faced a situation like the one before us now. But then, we have never been betrayed by one of our own as we have now." Anxious murmurs rippled through the assembled group. "As some of you know, two nights past, our Protector brought another human into our midst, a female human. If it were not for the trust we have in He-Who-Watches, we would have been afraid. But Marowin was there, of course, and met the humans as they approached. We knew he would protect us if anything happened." 208


"And something did happen, but not what we expected. The woman called Marowin by name and approached him with obvious familiarity. She spoke to him as if speaking to someone she knew well. She told him that he had fathered the child in her belly." Roars of outrage poured out of their throats; some bears rose to their hind legs in anger. "This cannot be!" one of the she-bears cried. "Not Marowin," another sobbed. "Not our Guardian." Therlin raised his paw and motioned for everyone to sit back down, knowing that nothing could be accomplished in this state of panic. "Be calm, my kin," he begged, "let us finish our discussion." It took a moment for everyone to settle down, but when they had, he continued. "There were some in attendance that night who can verify my words." He looked at a huge black bear sitting to his left. "Grimar, you were there." The bear looked at Therlin and nodded, but the look in his eyes was clearly regret. He didn't want to testify, but it was his duty to be honest and so he spoke it, looking from one clan member to the next. "He speaks the truth. I was there. I heard and saw everything that he says." One of the she-bears who wasn't of a mind to quickly condemn their Guardian asked her question. "But Marowin denied it, of course. Am I correct?" There was such a long silence that everyone suddenly knew the answer and heads began to lower in anguish. Finally Therlin coughed softly and answered the question. "He did not deny it." 209


Cries of anger and disappointment echoed through the group; some sank to the ground, unable to remain upright from shock. How could something like this have happened? And to Marowin, their beloved Guardian? Giving them time to vent their frustration, Therlin looked at the faces of the big bruins around him while he waited. These bear warriors assisted Marowin when the clan needed more defense than the Guardian could provide alone. Their faces showed that they knew what Therlin would be asking next and they were steeling themselves for it. "Kin," Therlin said firmly to everyone, forcing them to give him their attention again. When they grew quiet, he continued. "I think we will agree that this monstrous child must not be born. The best way to protect ourselves from all threats to our clan is to eliminate the human woman who knows our secret. As long as she lives, our secret is not safe. She must be destroyed. Are we in agreement?" Roars of assent went up as heads nodded. It was unanimous. "And now, we face a difficult decision," Therlin continued. His voice trembled when he spoke again. "Our Guardian has broken one of the oldest and most important laws of the clan by mating with a human. He had put us in danger and he has...he has...betrayed us..." His voice trailed off, so filled with anguish that he couldn't continue. No one spoke, no one even moved, because no one wanted to say the words that needed to be said. Marowin was one of their own, and that made it even worse. 210


Finally accepting the horrible responsibility, Grimar stood and spoke aloud. "There is only one punishment for those who betray the clan. Our Guardian...Marowin..." he gulped and swiped at the air in front of him in frustration. "Marowin must die." The air echoed with sobs and cries of "no, no." Some of the bears collapsed on the ground and refused to get up, others ran away to mourn in private. Those who remained gathered and tried to console each other. In all the years that the Bear People had existed, this was unheard of, and they mourned that it had happened to them. Grimar exhaled, his body shaking with despair, and called the big bruins closer to him. When the males had gathered around him, he lowered his head to speak softly so that the others couldn't hear. "First let us dispose of the human. And then, together, we will deal with our Guardian. Let us be done with it tonight so that we may put this behind us and begin our healing." Then nodding solemnly, the bears murmured their agreement and wandered away, each to his own den to grieve. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirty-Three **** Lindy walked slowly through the forest, following the path discreetly marked by painted circles on the trees. Once upon a time, it had been her way of ensuring that she could quickly find her way to the clan in times of trouble. But by now she had been there so many times that she knew the path by heart. After all, their home was like a second home to her. Hands in her jacket pockets, she kicked at the weeds beginning to poke up among the wildflowers and cursed under her breath. She didn't want to do this, but after her little talk with Gareth, she'd decided that it had to be done. The problem was, since her clan had joined with Anwen's, everyone would be present and would want to hear what she had to say. She'd look like a total fool and would no doubt give Anwen a good laugh. "Dammit," she mumbled, chewing her lower lip for a moment. All of this could have been prevented if she had just kept her word to Marin in the first place. Hadn't she told him that she would respect the traditions of his clan when she became their Protector? And hadn't she promised him that she would love him no matter what, whether man or bear, and accept the conditions that came with it? She wasn't sure if she felt more ashamed or guilty for failing to keep her end of the bargain. She'd put him through Hell for her selfishness and he didn't deserve it. He'd kept his 212


part of the bargain. In fact, he'd handled things rather gracefully, she thought, considering all that he had been through and all the problems he had faced since they'd met. Gareth's words ran through her mind again, as they had almost hourly since he'd spoken them. Marin...depressed? That was so unlike him because he was so strong, so solid emotionally. Their last argument must really have taken a toll on him to make him depressed and afraid that she would stop loving him. She shuddered at the thought. Didn't he know after all this time that she could never stop loving him? After her divorce from her husband, she had wanted to escape from men, to find herself again by coming home to Minnesota. The last thing on her mind was falling in love. But when it happened, she fell hard and fast, her feelings even deeper and truer than the ones she felt with her husband. And it had scared her. But Marin was so unique, not only because of what he was, but also because of how he was, that she couldn't force herself away from him. He was everything she had dreamed of in a man, a man she didn't really believe existed. Yet here he was. Not that he'd made it easy for her, by any means. She was the enemy at first, a danger to his clan, but she'd wormed her way into their hearts with Gareth's help. And when Marin finally admitted that he wanted her, it was as big a shock to him as it was to her. She'd taken everything he'd risked for her and thrown it away because of her selfishness. And now it might be too 213


late. If he believed that she would stop loving him at some point, why should he risk his heart any more when a beautiful female Guardian was there, ready and waiting for him? Lindy slammed her palm against her forehead, completely pissed at herself. "You are such an idiot!" she yelled. She started to walk faster, realizing that time was of the essence. She only hoped she wasn't too late. **** Anwen watched from atop the guardian rock as a human female emerged from the path and entered the meadow. Recognizing who is was, she snorted and jumped to the ground. "Well, well. Look who's decided to join us." Marin's clan saw her approach and ambled over to greet her. Since Anwen's clan had joined them, Lindy's visits had become few and far between, and they missed her. Notch raced across the meadow and leaped into her arms. He had grown so big that he knocked her over and they fell to the ground. "Oh, oh," he groaned, figuring that he was in a heap of trouble. His mother, Lena, rushed over to see what had happened. "Protector, are you hurt?" she asked, worried about what her cub had done. Lindy sat up and looked at the cub cowering beside her, then laughed and shook her head as she brushed the dirt of her jacket. "No harm done, Lena, we were just hugging, weren't we, Notch?" 214


He sighed in relief and gave her hand a wet, sloppy lick. "I love you, Protector," he said. She gave the fur on his head a tousle and smiled. "I love you, too." Marin emerged from behind Lena and shifted into man skin to help Lindy up. She grabbed his hand and he pulled her to her feet beside him. "Didn't think I'd be seeing you," he said softly. Lindy exhaled and looked around. Members of both clans had gathered around to see what was going on, just like she'd expected. "Can we talk?" she asked, looking up at him. He nodded and motioned with his head that they should walk over to the rock where they could have some privacy. They took a few steps when Anwen shifted into man skin and stood before them, blocking the way. "What is this about?" she demanded. "It's personal, if you don't mind," Lindy said, hoping that Anwen would let it drop. Of course she didn't. "Anything our Protector says to one Guardian should be heard by the other Guardian," Anwen insisted, arrogantly throwing her position in Lindy's face. She stood with her hands on her hips, obviously not going anywhere. "Anwen," Marin said calmly, "some things are not meant to be heard by other ears." "I disagree. How can I make informed decisions about the safety of our clans when you keep secrets from me?" Marin shifted his weight from one foot to the other, wondering what to say to convince her. But Lindy put her hand on his arm and shook her head. 215


"It's alright. She should hear what I have to say. A feeling of dread made Marin shudder but he stood silently, honoring her request. Anwen smirked and stared at Lindy. "What do you want to say?" Lindy jammed her hands back into her pockets so Anwen couldn't see them shaking. She didn't want her to know how difficult this was. She took a deep breath and looked at Marin. "I know that we've had some...difficulties lately. I've been upset about some things...personal things, but I want you to know that I support you in whatever you need to do for the welfare of the clan. I did make that promise when you asked me to be Protector, and it's only right that I do as I promised. So, when you need to...do what you must...I won't stand in your way or make a scene." She took a breath and looked away to calm herself, and then looked at Marin again. "And if you see fit to forgive my selfishness, well, there's nothing I'd like better than to have you come home. To me." The breath caught in Marin's throat at her words. When he'd seen her walking into the meadow, he'd figured that she was coming to tell him good-bye. She was done with him, finished with his heartless demands, and he wouldn't have blamed her. But he never expected this. He cleared his throat and forced his voice to remain steady. "Are you sure this is what you want?" She nodded and her head lowered as she looked at the ground. This was so hard to say but she knew she had to. "Go ahead, mate with Anwen. I still want you back." When she looked up, she saw Marin staring intently at her with a pained look in his eyes. His head lowered for a moment 216


and she heard him draw in a slow, deep breath before he looked at her again. "I appreciate your support, Lindy, I do. I know how hard this is for you. I remember your promise to support me in all things pertaining to the clan. I also remember that I was really never completely honest with you about my participation in ensuring a future Guardian for the clan. Maybe I didn't think you'd understand it, or maybe I was just afraid of losing you. Either way, I'm equally at fault. But one thing I know. " He reached out and took her upper arms gently in his hands, pulling her close to him while he gazed deeply into her eyes. " I would rather lose honor before my clan than hurt you this way. I would rather fail in my duty than to risk losing you. Therefore, I will not mate with Anwen." Lindy cried out and pushed her hands over her face, so overcome with emotion that she didn't know what else to do. Marin turned to apologize to Anwen, expecting to see her seething in fury. But Anwen just stood shock-still, her eyes frozen wide open at his words. "Guardian?" he said Shaking her head to throw off the shock, Anwen sighed and gazed up at him. Her sigh was so loud that it drew looks from some of the clan members milling nearby. Her arms fell to her sides. "There is something I need to tell you, Marin. I tried to tell you the other day but you wouldn't listen."

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Now Marin drew his arms up and crossed them over his chest, anxiously curious. He remembered the day she was speaking of. "Go on." "I, too, know that it's traditional for the Guardian to mate with the strongest, healthiest member of the clan. In this particular situation..." she waved her hands around her to encompass both clans that had now gathered around them to listen in, "we have two Guardians. Naturally it was assumed that you would mate with me, since I'm obviously the top choice." Lindy uncovered her face and rolled her eyes but remained silent, wishing she could say what was really on her mind. Anwen continued, oblivious to Lindy's reaction. "But in light of your, uh, previous mating choice, I was going to tell you that I thought it best that you and I not perform the mating." A simultaneous gasp went up from the bears who were now crammed in as close to their Guardians as they could get. Then they went silent again to hear more. "This is rather unexpected, Anwen," Marin said, trying to keep the relief from showing in his voice. He was so happy he could have yelled, but since he still needed to treat her respectfully, he feigned a serious demeanor. "But I agree that it would be for the best." He sighed and was about to turn away when he gazed at Anwen again. "I've heard whisperings that you are fond of someone in my clan. Is it true?" A sly smile came to her face and she nodded, relieved that everything had been settled to the satisfaction of both Guardians. "It is," she said. 218


"And do you wish to mate with this bear?" Her smile grew larger and her head rose triumphantly. "Yes I do." "Then call him forward so that I might congratulate him." "That's not necessary; I'm right here." And Gareth stepped forward to take Anwen's hand in his own. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirty-Four **** Emma hadn't spoken a word to anyone but her daughter since she'd returned from her meeting with Marowin. Otto had been curious about her strange behavior at first, then furious when he noticed her swelling belly and realized what had happened. For days he'd questioned her, threatened her, and eventually even thrown her to the ground in his quest to learn the name of the man who was guilty, but she would not speak. The tension in camp was thick and ugly as accusing looks flew between men. Of course no one owned up to the horrible thing he had done, which infuriated Otto even more. Most of the men just stopped talking to him because he was so obsessed, so constantly angry that he was unbearable to be around. Emma did all that she could to avoid him and to protect their daughter until she found the strength to carry out her plan to run away. Four nights after she had returned from the forest, she tucked Elizabeth into her crib and followed the path to the outhouse to relieve herself before bed. When she was done, she closed the door behind her and turned to go back to the cabin. A hand came from nowhere and clamped over her mouth to keep her from screaming. She was dragged backward into the darkness of the woods. 220


This is what you were afraid of, she thought to herself. Your husband is going to murder you. The only thing she regretted was that she would leave her precious daughter in the hands of a killer. Still, there was no fight in her; she just didn't have the strength or the will anymore. She let herself be dragged deeper into the forest without moving or trying to cry out. She just wanted it over. She was far from camp when he took his hand from her mouth and turned her around. It wasn't Otto. "Marowin?" He gazed down at her, shocked by what he saw. Her beautiful face was bruised and pale, with dark circles ringing her eyes. Her hair hung filthy and unwashed around her thin shoulders and her clothes were filthy. She didn't look like the same woman. "Emma...what has happened to you?" he whispered. She looked away. "What does it matter?" His shoulders hunched up, betraying his confusion. "It...it matters. I did not want him to harm you." Swinging her head toward him, she uttered a bitter laugh. "The harm Otto did to me is nothing compared to the way you hurt me." "Emma," he whispered. "You made your decision very clear, Marowin. Now leave me be." She turned her back on him and started walking toward camp. He swung around and stopped in front of her, blocking her path. "You cannot go back there." "Why not? What concern is it of yours where I go?" 221


He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her close to him, feeling the warmth of her skin beneath her nightdress. The feel of her shook him to the core. "Listen to me. I understand why you hate me. I deserve it. But my clan is coming is coming to kill you and the baby and I will not let that happen." When she looked up at him, her eyes were void of any emotion. She merely shook her head at him. "Maybe that would be for the best." "Nooo," he groaned, becoming panicked by her response and the little time they had left. "Emma, think of Elizabeth. She needs her mother. And the baby...our child..." His shoulders shook with his exasperation, knowing that she needed to hear him say it. "Emma, you said you loved me. Now you must believe me that I feel the same for you. If I thought that there was any way for us to work this out, I would tell you. But this thing...you and me...this is not meant to be. But that does not mean that I care nothing for you or our child. I would give my life for you, Emma. And I will fight my own clan to keep you safe. But you must go from here." Her eyes were shiny with moisture but she didn't make a move; she just stood there looking at him, remembering the way it felt when they had been together. "I can't. I have nowhere to go and no one to help me." He whirled her around and tugged her along behind him on the path to the lumber camp. "He-Who-Watches is waiting for you just outside the camp. He has a horse for you. Take Elizabeth and go to him; he will help you. But you must go before my clan gets here." 222


Emma dug her heels into the ground and yanked to a stop, her expression filled with emotion for the first time. "You did this for me?" "Yes," he whispered, tenderly caressing the side of her face with his hand. He was so full of regret for the way this had ended, so full of concern for her safety. But she was right, he had made his decision and now it was too late to change anything. Saving her life was the one thing, the only thing, that he could do now. "You must go. But promise me that you will keep our child safe." The look in his eyes was so pained and so powerful that all she could do was nod. If he was risking his life to come and warn her, it could only be because she and the baby meant something. And that was enough to give her reason to live. "I will," she said. He grabbed her hand again and they ran until the camp was within sight. "There," he said, pointing to a dark shadow in some far bushes. "He waits for you there. Take Elizabeth and go to HeWho-Waits. Then ride fast. The clan cannot catch running horses." She nodded and ran to her cabin. Throwing open the door, she swept her daughter into her arms and ran out in the dark, into the waiting arms of He-Who-Waits. He lifted Emma onto one horse, then leaped onto his own with Elizabeth tucked safely under one arm, and they disappeared into the darkness. Otto ran out of the cookhouse and looked around, confused by what had happened. The sound of pounding hoof 223


beats faded into the distance, replaced by another sound drawing nearer, but he had no idea what was making it. Other men came out of the bunkhouse and joined him, curious about what was happening. Marowin watched them for only a moment. Then he turned around and awaited his fate at the claws of his angry clan. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirty-Five **** Finn sat beside the stream and watched the waterfall, seeking solace away from the activity back at the meadow. After Marin and Anwen's agreement had been announced, the clans had celebrated by beginning the mating season. He'd watched his sister disappear into Gareth's den, surprised by her choice of mate, but pleased nonetheless. He'd grown fond of the cinnamon bear, who'd revealed himself to be of sound character. They were a good match and would produce a fine cub, he was sure. Lena, too, had chosen a fine mate for herself in Bremen. He was probably the strongest bruin in the clan, and he thought highly of her cub Notch, which scored points in her mind, of course. He was glad that the cub would have another he-bear around to teach him the ways of the clan. Finn had watched as one by one, the she-bears of both clans made their choices and wandered off with their new mates. And the familiar feeling of loneliness and despair settled over him when he was left behind again, unchosen. He lay on his back and looked up at the clouds. It was too beautiful a day to be feeling this awful, but he couldn't help it. There had always been a glimmer of hope in the back of his mind that when they joined Marin's clan, some she-bear might give him a chance, despite his disability. Now he realized that he'd been fooling himself; his life here was no 225


different than it was there. No one wanted him there and no one wanted him here. Sighing, he was about to close his eyes when the sky went dark above him. "Huh?" he said. Lilia looked down at him, her head directly above his. She watched his face fall into her shadow, saw the look of bitter disappointment in his expression. "Hello, Finn." He didn't move but merely looked up at her, wondering why she was here when all the fun was going on elsewhere. Still, he didn't want to be rude. "Hello." "Why did you leave the meadow so early?" He shrugged his shoulders. "Why stay?" Lilia backed away and then lay down beside him, rolling onto her back. Her front paw dangled in the air for a moment, teasing, before she let it drop onto his. "Huh?" he said again, startled by her touch. "Is that all you can say?" she laughed. "You need to expand your vocabulary." Finn rolled on his side to look at her, trying to gauge her intentions. Why was she here when everyone else was in the meadow? "Lilia," he said softly. "What do you want?" She pursed her lips and grinned. "What do you think, you big dope!" He opened his mouth to say huh again but quickly thought better of it. "I know what I hope you're here for, but why don't you tell me so I don't embarrass myself." Lilia rolled to her side to face him, watching as his mangled limb hung limp from his shoulder. Her gaze swept past it to settle on his handsome face, at the sweet and 226


hopeful expression shining in his eyes. He was perfect, exactly what she wanted. "Would you be my mate?" she asked. Finn's heart almost burst from his chest. Finally, the words he had always longed to hear. "It would be my honor," he said. At last, life was good. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirty-Six **** The sound of running paw steps thundered closer and Marowin turned to wait. The ground beneath his feet shook at their approach and he steeled himself, knowing what was to come. The younger bruins crashed through the brush first, their strong young bodies eager to fight. Behind them came the older bruins, seasoned but more cautious warriors, and last came Therlin. He would have given anything not to participate in this event, but it had to be unanimous. Every he-bear in the clan would take some responsibility for this. Marowin remained motionless and waited for the attack, preparing himself mentally and physically. But the bears altered course and swarmed into the camp from the south, passing well away from him as they closed the gap to the human men, who stood there in shock. The loggers seemed oblivious to the fact that they were being surrounded by bears, at least until the first bite happened. Grimar rushed Otto and knocked him to the ground. Otto screamed and flailed his arms, helpless beneath the weight of a four hundred pound bear. Grimar growled out in anger and sank his canines deep into the human's neck, only stopping when the warm taste of human blood filled his mouth. Then he released his jaws and stepped away to spit the disgusting taste from his mouth. 228


Once the other loggers saw this, they scattered in terror. Some had brought their rifles with them and attempted to fire off some shots, but the bears were too fast. They ducked and dodged as they selected their human victims and one by one brought them down. Terrible human cries and screams filled the air but the bears were relentless in their quest. Only one thing would ensure their safety and that of the clan, and that was the complete extermination of the humans. Grimar wiped the blood off his muzzle and looked around, searching for the woman. She was the reason they were here, after all. He sniffed the ground to find her scent and followed it to the cabin where she stayed. The door was open so he wandered in, cautious that she might be hiding inside, ready to use one of the human weapons against him, but the cabin was empty. He turned around and went back outside, sniffing again to find her trail. Even among the growing puddles of human blood and tissue now scattered over the ground, he detected her scent and followed it to the edge of the camp. He reared up in anger as other scents filled his nostrils. Horses. And worst of all, the scent of He-Who-Waits. Their own Protector. Grimar growled and made his way to Therlin with the news that they had again been betrayed. The woman was gone, spirited away by the only human they trusted. They knew they could never catch up with horses.

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The other bears finished their grisly work and made their way over to Therlin. The look on his face told them everything they needed to know. "Our Protector helped the coward and his woman run from us," Grimar snarled, more furious than he had ever been. "The coward did not run," Marowin said from behind them. Every bear turned at the sound of his voice and stood to face him. Therlin approached Marowin and stared at him. "Who betrayed us and told you of our plan?" The Guardian raised his head to look Therlin squarely in the eye. "No one told me. Do you think I would not expect the clan to take such action against the woman and myself? "He shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest. "After enforcing the laws of the clan my whole life, I knew what you had to do. And I know what you must now do." "But you warned the woman and saved her," Grimar shouted. "You used our Protector to betray us and save her." "I am guilty, but do not blame He-Who-Waits for doing what I begged him to do." The bears drew closer, tightening their circle around Marowin. They were anxious to carry out the sentence and be done with it. Therlin remained standing before Marowin, his eyes clouding with emotion. Despite the crime he had committed, the Guardian was still his old friend and it hurt to see things end this way. "Just tell me one thing," he said to Marowin. "Why did you not flee with her when you had the chance?" 230


An anguished look came upon Marowin's face and he gazed fondly into the eyes of his dearest friend and mentor, knowing that this would be the last face he ever saw. He held his head high. "Because I was born Guardian of this clan and I will die Guardian of this clan. I accept my fate." Without a word, the bears rushed forward and sealed it. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Thirty-Seven **** Marin threw his head back and closed his eyes, stunned by the words Lindy had just read to him. His great-grandsire had admitted his mistake and died honorably, as a Guardian should, and it was not the way Marin thought it would have been. "What is it, Marin?" Lindy asked, equally shocked by what she'd read in the diary. He raised his head up again and inhaled a long breath to calm himself. "I guess I thought that he went with her." Lindy's eyebrows rose questioningly. "But didn't Jack tell us that according to the family history of the Protectors, the clan killed him and then moved deeper into the forest, severing all ties with the humans? I mean, I can understand now why they didn't trust humans anymore when their very own Protector had more or less betrayed them." "Yes, I heard Jack say that, but I didn't believe it." Lindy turned sideways on the couch to gaze at him, fascinated at this revelation. "Why not?" "Because," he said with frown, "I thought that if he cared enough about her to break clan law and betray his own kind, then he would have loved her enough to go with her." She thought about this and then proposed a theory of her own. "Maybe he wasn't strong enough to give up everything 232


that he was and go with her, but he did make sure that she and the baby would be safe. I give him credit for that." "At least one thing is a load off my mind," Marin sighed as he took Lindy's hand in his and stroked the soft skin lovingly. "Marowin wasn't crazy, he wasn't insane. He was just in love. And I know exactly how he felt." Lindy threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly, so thankful that this Guardian had found the strength that his ancestor had not. But two questions remained to be answered and she couldn't feel completely at ease until they were. "Marin, what about your duty to provide a new Guardian for the clan?" A thoughtful expression came to his face. "I've been thinking about that and I've decided that it's a matter of terminology. I figure, maybe I don't actually have to create a new Guardian. Maybe I can just train one that someone else creates. After all, Anwen has to be good for something, right?" Lindy laughed and kissed him hard on his lips. "And what about our life together?" "Ahhh...our life together. I think that with all the young he-bears we have in the clan now, two full time Guardians really aren't necessary, for our kin will be safe. Anwen will guide them and I'll be there when they need me. But I don't see the need to stay at forest home all the time. And anyway, I've become pretty comfortable here." He rested his arms on the back of the couch and patted the cushions fondly. "Comfortable in my home?" Lindy asked. 233


"Comfortable in your arms, my love." He grinned and kissed her, then picked up the diary from her lap. "One more entry...let's see how this ends." **** Emma Dean, my diary Last entry, Minneapolis, Minnesota It is finally over. I went back to the place where it all began, this adventure that I can share with no one. After all, who would believe me? When I stood on the site of the camp and saw the ashes, I knew that the news reports had been true. The logging camp had burned to the ground, leaving only charred timbers and smoldering bodies behind. God forgive me, but I hope that Otto's was one of them. I thank God every day for the blessings he gave me. Not one, but two babies, two beautiful dark-haired boys who look so very much like their father that the mere sight of them makes me weep for my loss. I think of my love by day and by night, and mourn what could have been had we not been so different from each other. When I arrived at the ruins, my message had been received at the Indian camp and He-Who-Waits was there to meet me, thankfully! I don't know what I would have done without him. The look on his face was indescribable when he saw my sons in my arms. Even he saw the resemblance. It was with terrible sorrow that I entrusted one of my boys into his care and made him promise that he would deliver my son to his father. It was only right that Marowin should know the joy of a son like I did. 234


For two days I waited, huddled in the destroyed camp, waiting for the Indian to return. Late the second day, he did return, only to share with me the horrible news that Marowin was dead. But he said that the clan had decided to accept my son and would raise him in honor of the memory of their Guardian, who had been good and just and who failed in his duty only because of a human woman who had made him insane. Insane? No, Marowin was the sanest, strongest man I have ever known. But I wish the clan no ill will because they will remember him as they must, just as I will remember him the way I must. I only pray that my son will grow to be as strong as his father, and to use his shape changing ability wisely and not against humans. He is, after all, part of me. I further hope and pray that someday, our kinds, human and bear, will meet again and perhaps strike up a friendship that fate does not now allow. I believe with all my heart that they are a kind and noble race and I wish God's blessings on them. I will never forget you, Guardian of the Bear People. I love you, Marowin. Good-bye, my love. **** Lindy and Marin sat in silence on the couch as the emotion of Emma's words sank in. Lindy finally cleared her throat and closed the diary for the last time. "I guess that explains how one of the twins came back to the clan." She tucked her legs up beneath her on the couch and took a sip of coffee. 235


"Frankly, I'm surprised they took the baby when they hated Marowin so much." Marin put his feet up on the coffee table and took the mug from her hand. He'd discovered that coffee went down much easier the longer he led a human life. "I don't think they hated him, Lind. They were disappointed, certainly; disgusted, probably. But he had been their Guardian for so long that they would never forget him. Maybe that was their way of acknowledging all that he'd done for them up until the time that he made his mistake. And it's also possible that HeWho-Waits convinced them that it was the right thing to do." "Well, I'm just thankful that the child survived. If he hadn't, you wouldn't be here." Marin chuckled and drained the last of the coffee. "You know, it just occurred to me that the clan must have raised the boy as a normal Guardian, even though he was half human. They must have seen something in him that assured them of his ability to do the job, otherwise they would have chosen another cub to be Guardian. They certainly never told him about his humanity." "That's right. But even half human, he was still the son of the great Guardian Marowin. And to think, you're his legacy." Marin went silent, reflecting on her words. Marowin had left his legacy but never lived to see it. And now that legacy would end here with him. His gaze flicked to the woman beside him and his heart refused to be sad. He had made his choice and he had no regrets.

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"I was thinking," Lindy said as she took his hand in her own, knowing that she would never, ever, tire of the feel of him. "Maybe we should start a diary of our own." "I thought a diary was started at the beginning of someone's story, not at the end." "It is the beginning of someone's story," she replied, her face beaming. He gazed at her bright blue eyes and gripped her fingers tightly, his heart racing. "What do you mean?" She leaned over and gave him a slow, deep kiss. "It's your legacy, Marin. You're going to be a father." The End. [Back to Table of Contents]

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About the Author **** Being followed by a black bear in Wisconsin's Northwoods was the inspiration behind Lori Johnson's fascination with the lore and natural history of these beautiful creatures, and the impetus behind her first book, People of the Bear. After earning a Biology degree from Valparaiso University, she combined her love of nature and writing to publish numerous nonfiction articles in local and national magazines. She lives in Illinois with her husband, daughter and a menagerie of pets. Explore Lori's world of black bears at www.lorijohnson.com

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