Escaping Darkside

Escaping Darkside by Amanda Steiger Changeling Press LLC www.changelingpress.com Copyright ©2009 by Amanda Steiger Fi...

Author: Steiger Amanda

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Escaping Darkside by Amanda Steiger

Changeling Press LLC www.changelingpress.com

Copyright ©2009 by Amanda Steiger First published in 2009, 2009 NOTICE: This eBook is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution to any person via email, floppy disk, network, print out, or any other means is a violation of International copyright law and subjects the violator to severe fines and/or imprisonment. This notice overrides the Adobe Reader permissions which are erroneous. This eBook cannot be legally lent or given to others. This eBook is displayed using 100% recycled electrons.

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CONTENTS Escaping Darkside Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Epilogue Amanda Steiger ****

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Escaping Darkside Amanda Steiger All rights reserved. Copyright ©2009 Amanda Steiger WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this or any copyrighted work is illegal. File sharing is an International crime, prosecuted by the United States Department of Justice and the United States Border Patrol, Division of Cyber Crimes, in partnership with Interpol. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is punishable by seizure of computers, up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000 per reported instance. ISBN: 978-1-59596-581-3 Formats Available: HTML, Adobe PDF, MobiPocket, Microsoft Reader Publisher: Changeling Press LLC PO Box 1046 Martinsburg, WV 25402-1046 www.ChangelingPress.com Editor: Maryam Salim Cover Artist: Zuri

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This e-book file contains sexually explicit scenes and adult language which some may find offensive and which is not appropriate for a young audience. Changeling Press E-Books are for sale to adults, only, as defined by the laws of the country in which you made your purchase. Please store your files wisely, where they cannot be accessed by under-aged readers.

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Escaping Darkside Amanda Steiger Death is just the beginning of Christian's problems. After he's killed in a hit and run accident, he wakes up in Darkside—the demon-infested world between life and death— and learns that he's being hunted by the merciless Council. Then he meets Seth, an inhumanly beautiful man with silver hair and golden eyes. He offers Christian his protection, and a glimmer of hope. At the far end of Darkside is a door to Earth. If Christian can reach it, he'll have a second chance at life. There's only one problem. Going back to Earth will mean leaving Seth behind forever ... and Christian is falling in love with him. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter One Christian woke face down on the ground, head throbbing. A smell like garbage and sewer water filled his nose, and hard, gritty pavement pressed against his cheek. He opened his eyes to find himself lying in a narrow alley between two brick buildings, next to a row of overflowing trashcans. Christian stood, staggered, and leaned against the nearby wall. What had happened? Had he been mugged? A wave of dizziness washed over him, and he swayed. He must have hit his head. Maybe that was why he couldn't remember anything. When the world finally stopped spinning, he began to walk. Run-down, brick buildings lined the narrow street, and fragments of broken glass glittered on the pavement. It looked like one of the bad parts of Chicago, but it wasn't a neighborhood he recognized. He heard a low, faint moan, like distant wind, and froze. The back of his neck prickled and he slowly turned. Four red-cloaked figures stood in the street, motionless. Hoods covered their heads and shadow hid their faces. Goose bumps rose on Christian's flesh. "Um ... hello." No reply. One figure stretched out an arm and curled a long, bony finger in beckoning. Christian swallowed, hard. His heart rose into his throat as fear slammed into his gut like a fist. He took a shaky step backward, then turned and ran, feet pounding the pavement, breath coming in frantic gulps. He looked over his shoulder 7


and saw them following—not running, but floating several inches above the road, their red cloaks billowing behind them. What the hell was going on? He kept running, but he could sense the things getting closer, closing in on him. An icy hand curled around his arm, the fingers brittle and thin, yet strong as iron. Cold filled his chest, as if that skeletal hand had reached into his body to grip his heart. He looked into the darkness beneath the thing's hood and saw the glint of eyes. A weird clicking, chattering noise drifted from that darkness. Christian twisted away. "Let me go!" He yanked his arm free. His skin still burned where the thing had touched him. He ran, ignoring the throbbing stitch in his side and the burn in his lungs. There was nothing left in his mind but the desperate need to get away. He ran until his legs gave out, and he sank to his hands and knees, gulping air, each breath like nettles scraping his raw lungs. He looked over his shoulder, shaking. The red-cloaked figures were nowhere in sight. Somehow, he'd lost them. He crawled to the side of the street and hid behind a Dumpster, hugging his knees to his chest. He looked down at his arm, where the thing had grabbed him. Its grip had left ugly, black burn marks on his skin, and the marks writhed like something alive. Just looking at them made him nauseous. He pulled his sleeve over the burn, hiding it, then leaned back against the brick wall and closed his eyes. His muscles felt like overcooked noodles, but somehow, he managed to drag himself to his feet and resume walking. 8


Ahead, a row of motorcycles stood next to a low, windowless building with black cement walls. Even from a distance, Christian could hear the pulse of a bass-beat. A dance club? Whatever it was, he needed to get inside. He ran toward the building, flung open the door, and entered. A blast of warm air and sound hit him. After the eerie silence of the street, the sudden din of music and voices was overwhelming. The club was dimly lit, smoky, and packed. Music thumped in his ears. Christian squeezed through the crush of bodies, his gaze darting back and forth. Sweaty shirts surrounded him wherever he turned. "Ow! Watch where you're going!" "Sorry. I—" Christian looked up and his jaw dropped. The thing staring down at him had the body of a weightlifter, but from the neck up, it resembled a cross between a bull and a lion, with curved black horns, a shaggy mane, and sharp fangs. "What are you staring at?" growled a deep, rough voice. "S-sorry," Christian stammered and backed away. Had he stumbled into some sort of costume party? No, that hadn't been a mask. He'd seen its mouth move. He stepped on something that felt like a rope and heard a snarl. He looked down to see a long, furry tail pull away, and something with three horns and four eyes glared at him. Christian stumbled backward. Breathing hard, he made his way through the crowd. He spotted a silver-haired girl in black leather. Relieved to see someone relatively normal-looking, Christian grabbed her 9


arm. She looked at him. Her eyes were huge, almond-shaped, and completely black, without whites or irises. "Excuse me, Miss, I'm sorry, but could you tell me..." She opened her mouth, revealing inch-long fangs where her canine teeth should have been, and hissed like a cat. He backed off. His head swiveled back and forth. Everywhere he looked was a creature out of a nightmare. There stood a man with a wriggling mass of tentacles where his mouth should have been. Across from him loomed another man with the head of a hawk and four feathery arms. A hand grabbed his arm and twisted him around. He found himself staring up into a face that was almost human, except it was black—not brown, but licorice black—and topped by a pair of small, spiral horns protruding from crimson hair. The man dragged Christian through the crowd, out the door, into the cool night. He shoved his face into Christian's, eyes narrowed. "What are you doing here? You're not from Darkside." "I don't even know how I got here. What is this place?" His lip curled in an unpleasant expression that was halfgrin, half-sneer, revealing tiny, sharp fangs. "You're from Earth, huh?" "Earth? You mean we're not on Earth?" "Oh boy, are you in for a rude awakening." Sharp claws dug into the meat of Christian's arm, making him squirm. "There's bound to be a fat reward on your head. The Council doesn't like it when souls slip through their grasp." Breathing hard, Christian tried to pry the sausage-thick, dark fingers from his arm. "Let go!" 10


"Oh no. You're not getting away so easily." "Hands off, Dorf. He's mine." The horned man looked up and his eyes widened. "Seth!" He released Christian's arm as if he'd found himself holding a poisonous snake. "Shit. Sorry, Seth, I didn't know." Christian turned and followed Dorf's gaze. At first, he thought he couldn't possibly be looking at the right person. The tall, lanky, pale young man didn't look all that scary, but he was the only other person around. He wore a fishnet shirt, a black leather jacket and faded black jeans, slashed at the knees and lower thighs, as if someone had used them for sword-fighting practice. He stared at Dorf, one hand on his slim hip. "Well? Go on." Dorf gulped and backed away. He gave Seth one last, fearful look, then scurried into the club and slammed the door. Christian stared at the man called Seth. His mop of shaggy hair was a pale silver-white, as if it had been lacquered with moonlight. His shirt outlined a hard, toned chest, smooth skin stretched taut over whipcord-lean muscle, without a spare ounce of fat anywhere it wasn't needed. And his eyes... Goose bumps rose on Christian's arms. His eyes were large, almond-shaped, and golden. Something told Christian they weren't colored contacts. Who was this guy? Seth's gaze moved up and down the length of Christian's body. "You all right?" "Fine. Thanks." Christian cleared his throat and took a step back. "I, uh, I guess I'll be going." 11


"To where?" asked Seth. He spoke in a leisurely drawl that belied the sharp alertness in his eyes. Christian hesitated. "I don't know." "Then why are you in such a hurry?" "Because ... I..." "Because you're afraid of me?" He smiled, a small, droll smile, as if he were enjoying a private joke. "I won't bite. What's your name, kid?" Christian's tongue crept out to wet his dry lips. "Christian. Christian Brennon. And I'm not a kid. I'm twenty-three." "Whatever you say." He cocked his head and studied Christian's face, eyes narrowed slightly. "You're not from around here." Christian laughed shakily. "What gave it away? The fact that I don't have horns or hooves, or look like something out of a horror movie?" "That, and you tend to turn into a hardened asshole pretty fast when you live in a dump like this. You don't have that feel. How'd you end up in Darkside?" "I don't know. I just woke up here. The last thing I remember is..." Memories flashed through his head: the screech of brakes, the flash of headlights, the sickening pain as a car slammed into his body, the wail of ambulance sirens as he watched his blood pool on the street around him. He pressed a hand to his stomach. "Oh God," he whispered. Seth watched him, his expression unreadable. "Am I dead?" His voice emerged small and scared, the voice of a lost little boy. 12


"Probably. Can't think of any other reason you'd be here." "Then, is this..." "Hell? No, not quite. I guess you could call it a suburb of Hell. Or let me put it this way. If existence is a hotel, picture this as the floor between Earth and Hell. Home to many lesser demons, washed up gods, and a few lost souls such as yourself: mortals who somehow get stuck between worlds on the way to the afterlife." "This can't be real." "Oh, it's real. Of course, it's rare for humans to wind up here. And when they do, they don't last long." "Then what are you? You look human." "Long story. I'll explain it later if we have the time." "So you're not going to turn me in? The other guy seemed to think..." He stopped. If there was a reward on his head, bringing it up was probably not a good idea. "No, I won't turn you in. I'm not interested in anything the Council could offer me." "Who?" "The ones who put the bounty on your head." "Then there really is a bounty on me?" "Probably. Or if there isn't, there will be. Human souls aren't supposed to be here. If they catch you, they'll feed you to the Eaters. You'd better come with me." "How do I know I can trust you?" "You don't have any other options right now. You're in constant danger here, as you've probably figured out already. There are demons here who'll try to sell you out to the Council, and others who'll try to take advantage of you simply 13


because you're weaker than they are. This world is filled with predators." "So how do I know you're not one of them?" Seth's gaze locked with his, and those cool, golden eyes pierced him as Seth leaned closer. "Listen to me. There's probably another patrol looking for you right now, and we're in the middle of town. This is the first place they'll look. You can come with me or you can stay here and get caught. Your choice." Christian hesitated. He felt trapped, but he knew Seth was right. He didn't have any other options. He needed to trust someone, because on his own, he didn't stand a chance. "All right." "Good." Seth straddled one of the motorcycles parked in front of the club. "Get on." Christian squeezed onto the bike behind Seth; there was barely enough room for two. "Where are we going?" "My place. Hold onto me." Christian hesitated, then slipped his arms around Seth's narrow waist. His body was hard and warm. He smelled like leather and cheap soap, mingled with a faint whiff of sweat and cigarette smoke. Christian gulped as the blood rushed to his dick. Sex should probably have been the last thing on his mind, considering all he had to worry about right now, but here he was on the back of a motorcycle, pressed up against a strange, possibly dangerous, attractive man. Despite the confused whirl of his emotions, his cock stirred, tightened, 14


and pressed against the small of Seth's back. Christian bit his lower lip. If Seth felt his hard-on, he gave no indication. "Ever ridden a motorcycle before?" asked Seth. "No. Are you sure it's safe?" "Just hold on." Seth revved the engine. The bike lunged forward and Christian gasped. The speedometer needle leapt from zero to sixty, then crept higher as the engine's roar grew louder and louder. Wind whipped back his hair, stung his eyes and cheeks. The motorcycle tipped to one side as they veered around a corner, and Christian's stomach lurched. His arms tightened around Seth, and he buried his face against Seth's back. That leather-and-smoke smell filled his nose, and a strange wave of giddiness washed over him. His head buzzed with fear and exhilaration, but at the same time, holding onto the solid warmth of Seth's body, he felt a strange sense of security. He knew in his gut that Seth would not let any harm come to him. Still, he hoped the ride would end soon. He felt like he'd left his stomach on the pavement a few miles back. Finally, the bike slowed. "We're almost there," said Seth. Christian raised his head and looked around. The city lay behind them, and the road, now just a strip of gravel, snaked through fields of gray-yellow grass and bare trees. The bike stopped and the engine faded from a roar to a purr, then to silence. Christian slid off the bike, his heart pounding so hard he thought it might explode. His legs wobbled. "Here we are," said Seth. "Home sweet home." 15


A gray stone mansion loomed ahead, the walls covered with ivy. An iron fence with a gate surrounded the yard, but the gate had long since rusted and broken off. It hung by its hinges, and ivy crawled around and over it. Seth hopped off his bike and walked across the yard, toward the wide stone steps leading to the mansion's front door. Christian followed. "This is your house?" "Sort of. It was abandoned when I found it." He unlocked the front door and pushed. The hinges creaked as the door swung open, revealing a huge, empty hall. Pale sunlight spilled through the tall, arched glass windows, illuminating the dusty red carpet, the stone walls. A dark hearth dominated the back wall. To its right, a wide curved staircase led upward. Christian looked up and saw a chandelier caked with dust and cobwebs. "I don't clean much," said Seth. They entered, and the door swung shut behind them with a resounding thud. Christian followed Seth down the center of the vast room. Their footsteps echoed through the silence. "Why did you help me? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm grateful. I just wondered." Seth looked at him with those startling gold eyes. Christian stood, paralyzed, unable to look away. Then Seth averted his gaze, but Christian was left with the feeling that that brief glance had flashed deep into his brain and illuminated hidden parts of him, like some kind of psychic X-ray. "Curiosity, in part," said Seth. "It's unusual to see a human in Darkside. When one finds its way here by accident, the Council sends patrols to hunt it down." 16


"Patrols?" He remembered the red-cloaked men that had chased him through the streets. "Oh. Them." "You saw them?" "Yeah." His mouth was suddenly dry. He swallowed. "They were pretty creepy." Now, there was the understatement of the year. The burn on his arm flared, as if responding to the memory. He flinched and rolled back his sleeve to examine the damage. "One of them touched you?" "Yeah. It still hurts." Seth gripped his wrist with one firm, warm hand and leaned closer to examine the marks. He pressed his finger against one, and Christian bit his lip to keep from crying out. His eyes watered with pain, but he forced himself to stand still and bear it. The pain grew worse, a sickly, burning pain that burrowed deep into his flesh. His breathing quickened. "What are you doing?" "Hold still. I'm almost done." The agony sharpened into a red-hot spike. Christian let out a strangled cry, then, all at once, the pain vanished. He opened his eyes and stared at his arm, astonished. The burn was gone. "How did you do that?" "Just a little talent of mine. You're lucky I found you. If I hadn't healed that burn, it would have spread and consumed you until you were too weak to move. I'm surprised you got away in the first place. Not many escape the Eaters." "They're not men, are they? Not humans, I mean?" "No." 17


"What are they, then? Why are they called Eaters? What do they eat?" "They're soldiers from Hell. And they eat pain." Christian shuddered. Warm hands gripped his shoulders, steadying him. "I think you need to lie down," said Seth. He helped Christian up the stairs. Christian kept thinking of those skeletal fingers on his arm, the shadow-darkened faces staring at him from those red hoods. "They'll keep looking for me, won't they?" "I'm afraid so." "There's no way I can run from them forever. I barely managed to lose them the first time. What am I going to do?" "I'll protect you." Christian looked at Seth in surprise. "I won't let them take you," said Seth. One pale, slim hand still rested on Christian's shoulder. The touch was gentle, but he felt the iron strength in it. A tingling warmth spread from Christian's shoulder, into his chest, throughout his body. The memory of the redcloaked creatures dimmed, lost some of its power, and the fear receded from his heart, giving him a measure of control. His racing heartbeat slowed. He took a deep breath, collecting his thoughts. "Can you really protect me from them?" Seth smiled. "I have nothing to fear from the Eaters. It won't do much to endear me to the Council, but then, I doubt there is any way the Council could despise me more than they already do. I've been a thorn in their side for ages. Why do you think I live here, in Darkside? This world is for those who don't belong anywhere else." He turned away. 18


Christian wondered just who this Council was. For that matter, who—and what—was Seth? A dozen questions spun through Christian's head, but he was too exhausted to deal with them. He ached down to his bones, as if his whole body were one big bruise. And, he realized, he was weak with hunger. He placed a hand over the gnawing pain in his stomach. If he was dead, how could he be tired and hungry? Was this body even real, or was he just imagining that he was tired and hungry, like feeling pain in a phantom limb? Too many questions. "Don't try to think," said Seth, as if reading his mind. "You're overwhelmed as it is. You need rest." "Yeah. Rest." Christian looked down at his trembling hands. Seth took Christian's hands in his, and rubbed the palms with his thumbs. Warmth flowed down Christian's arms and through his body, soothing him. His trembling stopped. Christian stared. "How did you do that?" "There'll be time for questions later." Seth led him down a narrow hall with a dusty, moldering carpet. He opened a door. "You can rest here." Christian peered in. The bedroom looked better maintained than the rest of the mansion. The large bed was clean and made-up, the wardrobe and dresser free of dust. "There's a bathroom through that door." Seth pointed. "And some clothes in the dresser." Christian glanced down at himself. He still wore the clothes he'd died in. They were filthy and stained with dried blood. 19


"This place ... it isn't like any description of the afterlife I've ever heard." "This is just an afterlife. Not the afterlife. But don't worry about that now. Get clean and rest. When you wake up, I'll have something ready for you to eat, and then we can talk." Christian nodded. Seth walked off, leaving him alone in the bedroom. Christian suppressed the urge to call out, "Don't go!" Seth was, after all, his only ally in this strange, confusing, terrifying world, even if Christian wasn't a hundred percent sure he could trust him. He opened the door to the bathroom. The tub was huge, almost Jacuzzi-sized, and made of black, white-veined marble. Christian peeled off his sweaty, blood-stained clothes. He showered, toweled off, and collapsed into bed. His mind was numb, his heart sore, his body a collection of dull, throbbing aches. He pressed his face against the pillow. It smelled like Seth, a faint whiff of cigarette smoke and leather. Was this where he slept? Exhausted, he closed his eyes. Maybe he'd wake up in his own apartment, and realize it had all been a bad dream. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Two Christian opened his eyes and stared at an unfamiliar ceiling. At first, he had no idea where he was, then the memories flooded back. He climbed out of bed and opened the wardrobe. Inside hung rows of shirts and pants, mostly black leather and fishnet. Didn't Seth have any normal clothes? Did he always dress as if he were going to an S&M club? Finally, Christian found a long-sleeved black shirt, slashed here and there, so slivers of skin would show through. That was probably the best he was going to find. He slid into it then found a pair of black jeans in the dresser. He and Seth were about the same size, it seemed. He hesitated, wondering if he was free to wander, or if he should just stay in the bedroom until Seth came for him. After a minute, he put his own shoes back on and left the bedroom. He walked down the stairs, across the entrance hall and through an arched doorway, into a kitchen with faded, floral wallpaper and a three-legged table. The smell of coffee filled the air. Seth stood in front of the stove, pushing scrambled eggs around in a pan with a spatula. "Morning," he said. "Good morning," said Christian. It was odd, seeing Seth do something so domestic. He still wore his fishnet shirt and a pair of dark jeans, and his feet were bare. Christian's gaze traveled down his lean body. The shirt clung to his trim, sculpted chest and shoulders. Even his pale pink nipples were visible, outlined by black fishnet. The snug jeans emphasized 21


his long legs and taut ass. What Christian could see of his body was completely hairless. He looked as though it had been chiseled from white marble. Christian watched Seth's hands moving as he cooked, admired the slim, deft fingers as they lifted the pan and flipped the eggs. Seth looked up. "How did you sleep?" "Fine, thanks. I was exhausted." "You've been through a lot." Seth scooped the eggs onto a plate, and handed it to Christian. "For me?" "I'd be a lousy host if I didn't feed you." He handed Christian a fork. "Sit. I'll bring you some coffee and toast." "Thanks." Christian's stomach growled. He sat at the table and scooped a forkful of eggs into his mouth. Seth handed him a plate of buttered toast and a mug of black coffee, then sat down across from him. "Aren't you going to eat?" "I don't need to." Christian wondered why he still needed to eat if he was dead. He wondered if the eggs were even real food or if his mind was somehow being tricked into thinking he was eating. But hunger was stronger than curiosity, for the moment. He finished the eggs and toast and leaned back, sipping his coffee. "That was really good. Thanks." "You're welcome. I know you have a lot of questions, so ask." Christian hesitated. There was no shortage of questions swimming around in his brain, but now, he found he was 22


afraid of the answers. "Those things that chased me, the patrols ... you said they were from Hell." Seth nodded. "If they catch me, that's where they're going to take me?" "Yes." "What am I being punished for?" "I don't know. That's the Council's department, not mine." "You keep talking about the Council. Who are they?" "The most powerful angels in Heaven. They judge the souls of the deceased." "So where does God fit into all this? Isn't it God who's supposed to decide these things, not some committee?" Seth shrugged. "The Council is the voice of God, or so they claim." "Why does God need someone to speak for Him?" "A good question, but if you ask it to their faces, they'll just add blasphemy to your list of sins." "Isn't there any hope for me?" Seth took his hand and squeezed. Christian looked up in surprise. "I said I would protect you. I meant it. I'm not going to let them take you." "But protecting me would be like harboring a fugitive, wouldn't it? They'd punish you." "They'd try." "I can't let that happen. I'm amazed that you've already done this much for me, a total stranger. Maybe it's better just to turn myself in, try to face my fate with as much dignity as possible." "Is that really what you want?" 23


He clenched his fists. "Of course it's not what I want. But what choice do I have? This isn't just the police we're talking about; these are angels. I can't defy them and get away with it. I don't want you getting dragged down to Hell with me. I don't want anyone else getting hurt for my sake. I'm not worth it." "I think you're a poor judge of your own worth." "You don't even know me." "I do know you, Christian. Better than you know yourself, maybe. Flesh is only a veil. When I look at you, I see through the veil. I see you. I see every layer of you, down to the core of your being." Something had changed in Seth's mannerisms. The cool, tough veneer was gone. His expression was calm and gentle, his eyes unfathomable. Christian's mouth had gone dry. "You're saying you can read my mind?" Seth smiled. "You don't believe me?" His hand still lay over Christian's. His thumb moved back and forth, stroking his wrist, his touch feather-soft. "You were raised by your grandmother. You never met your birth parents. When you were five years old, there was a place you used to go in your backyard, a little space between the bushes and the fence, like a cave. It was your secret place. You liked to lie on your back, and look up at the sky through the lace of leaves and branches." Christian stared, speechless. "When you were thirteen, you had your first crush on another boy. His name was Ashton and his eyes were hazelgreen. At the time, you didn't even realize it was a crush, 24


because you'd been told that was something that happened between boys and girls. You just knew that when you thought about him, you felt warm and lightheaded and happy, and when he smiled, it lit up your heart like a flash of lightning. You had a dream about him kissing you. In the dream, he was pushing you up against the lockers, and his hands were holding your wrists, pinning your arms to your sides. When you woke up, you were confused and scared. You never told anyone. A few months later, you wrote in your journal 'I think I might be gay,' and then you tore out that page and burned it. You never told your grandmother the truth. She died in your last year of high school, and to this day, you still wonder whether she would have accepted you as you are." Christian stared into Seth's eyes. There was no judgment in them. He felt as if Seth understood every particle of his soul: understood and accepted. "You're an angel," said Christian, his voice soft with awe. Seth smiled. There was something very old, and very sad in that smile. "I was once." "Then how did you—" "Wind up here? Long story. Suffice to say, I've always had my disagreements with the Council." Christian's heart pounded. He'd known Seth wasn't human, that he was something far more powerful—but an angel? Was he really sitting face to face with an angel? He averted his gaze. "I'm sorry. If I'd known, I would have been more respectful. I'm honored to be in the presence of—" "Oh, please, don't get all reverent on me. Being worshipped has never been my kink. A lot of people seem to 25


forget that angels were created to serve and watch over humans, not the other way around." "Still..." Christian stared at the tabletop, his face hot. Seth took his hand again. Christian's heart leapt. Seth's thumb brushed across his wrist. "What's wrong?" His voice was low and soft, like a caress. "I can feel your pulse fluttering. Are you nervous?" "You know I am. You can read my thoughts, can't you?" "I can, but I prefer to talk to you. Tell me what's on your mind." Christian hesitated. "God, this is so weird." "What is?" "If you can see everything inside me, you know what kind of fantasies I have. I'm afraid of what you think of me now. I'm afraid you might be disgusted." "Why? Because you like men? You think that bothers me?" "Not just that. I mean ... some of the things that turn me on." Seth stood and walked around the table, to Christian's side. His warm palm cupped Christian's chin and lifted his face; then Seth's lips touched his. The contact sent a shock through Christian's whole being. Seth tasted faintly of smoke, but beneath that there was a clean, natural taste, like spring rain, dewdrops, and cool wind. Christian opened his eyes and he stared at Seth, stunned. "You were worried I'd be disgusted by that?" Seth asked. His thumb stroked Christian's lower lip. Heat rose into Christian's cheeks. "You're not?" 26


"Why would I be? And if I was disgusted, do you think I would have brought you here?" His thumb still rested against Christian's lower lip, a gentle, warm pressure. Christian's cock was hard and aching. His lips had always been very sensitive. Of course, if Seth could see all his memories like cards laid out on a table, he would know that. He would know all the right buttons to push. His heart was beating so hard he felt dizzy. Was this the real reason Seth had brought him here? To seduce him? "No, that's not the reason. I've already offered my oath of protection. I'm not going to tack any conditions onto it. I just want you to understand that what you feel isn't wrong. You are as you were made. You know as well as I do that your sexuality isn't a choice, and neither are the things that turn you on." "What about you? Are you..." He cleared his throat. "Maybe this is a silly question. I don't know if angels are ... I mean, do you even have..." His face got hotter. "I don't know how to ask this." A tiny smile turned up the corner of Seth's mouth. "You're really cute when you get flustered, you know." Christian's face was so hot, now, he'd begun to worry his hair might catch fire. "It's just that I guess I never thought of angels as sexual beings." "Physically, I'm made pretty much the same way you are, but this body isn't my true form." "You mean it's not real?" Christian touched Seth's arm. It felt warm, solid. He could see the veins running just under Seth's marble-white, smooth skin, the tendons in his strong, 27


slender wrist. "This—what I'm touching now—is this just an illusion?" "Not illusion, but it's not me. I have another form. But I wear flesh, so I feel the desires of the flesh." "Have you ever..." He trailed off. "Taken lovers? Yes. Both male and female." His warm hand cupped the nape of Christian's neck. "I love beauty. I love to share pleasure with others. It's one of the reasons the Council despises me. They think pleasure of the flesh is something to be suppressed, and sex something to be tolerated only when it's strictly necessary. Whereas, I see it as a great gift, to be savored and rolled across the tongue like wine." One finger traced the line of Christian's jaw. He leaned closer, until Christian felt the heat of Seth's breath on his ear. "You haven't had much pleasure in your life, have you? Not nearly enough." A small, soft moan escaped Christian's throat. He clutched the arms of the chair. His balls throbbed, ached for release. His cock strained against his pants. He thought that if Seth touched him there, he might explode. Seth watched him with gentle amusement in his catlike eyes, but there was no mockery in that amusement. One long, slender hand rested on Christian's chest over his beating heart. The other moved down, over his stomach, to his thigh. Holding his gaze, Seth knelt in front of him, between his knees. A finger slipped through one of the slashes in Christian's shirt and tugged it down to expose a tiny, pink nipple. It was as hard as a pebble, the areola puckered and tight. Seth's lips brushed his nipple. Then his 28


hot, wet mouth closed over it and tugged. Christian bit his lower lip as Seth's tongue swirled around his nipple, lapped at it. His mouth pulled harder, hurting a little. Christian wondered if that mouth would leave a bruise. He found himself hoping it would. Seth gave one final, hard suck, then lifted his head, and sure enough, there was a mark, a glaring red oval right over his nipple, with the neat imprint of teeth around the edge. Seth nuzzled his chest, rubbed his cheek against him, like a cat. He rose into a crouch. His arms slipped around Christian's waist, fingers interlocking at the small of his back. "I think we should continue this in the bedroom. Much more comfortable. Don't you agree?" Christian could only nod. His voice had failed him. Seth stood and took Christian by the hand. Christian allowed himself to be led out of the room and up the stairs. He moved like someone in a trance. Seth led him into the bedroom and pushed Christian onto the bed, then climbed on and crawled across the bed on his hands and knees, his movements fluid, catlike. His gaze moved over the length of Christian's body. "Seth?" Christian whispered breathlessly. Seth's hand moved between his thighs and cupped the hard bulge there. All the strength ran out of Christian in a rush. He lay motionless, his mind whirling as Seth's palm rubbed in slow circles against his full balls, caressing them through his jeans. Strong, lanky arms wrapped around him, pulled him close against the hard wall of Seth's chest. "I feel your heart 29


racing," he whispered into Christian's ear. His stomach brushed against the bulge of Christian's erection. Those golden eyes stared deep into Christian's, seeing every secret in his heart, holding him immobile with their power. Seth gripped Christian's wrists and pinned them to the bed. Christian could feel the inhuman strength in those hands, and knew that Seth could crush his wrists without even trying. "This is what you want, isn't it?" Seth whispered. "This is what you've fantasized about, so many nights ... being mastered, taken, completely at the mercy of another. So many nights alone, spent hiding under the blankets, your hand wrapped around your cock, muffling your cries against the pillow as you imagined strong hands pinning you to a wall, or a bed, holding you there." Christian's breath came in sharp pants. Terrified, exhilarated, he gulped in air. Dizziness swam through his head, and blackness washed across his vision. He knew he was hyperventilating, but he couldn't stop. Then Seth's mouth pressed against his, slowing his breathing, bringing it under control. Warm hands moved down his body, to his waist. "I knew that as soon as I looked into your eyes," whispered Seth, "as soon as I felt the brush of your soul against mine. I knew your deepest desire, the one you hid from others for so many years. Such a simple desire, really." Those strong, sure fingers stroked his cock through the suddenly-too-tight jeans. "To surrender yourself: heart, soul, and body. To be 30


dominated in every way. There's nothing wrong or shameful about that, Christian. It's what you are, and it's beautiful." "It is?" "Yes." Seth's lips brushed against his. "You're beautiful. Special." Christian's thirsty heart drank in his words, like parched earth soaking up rain. His vision blurred. It took him a moment to realize he was crying. Seth kissed away his tears. His hands encircled Christian's wrists and pinned them to the bed again, held them there. His mouth, burning hot, pressed against the pulse in Christian's throat. Christian's body arched upward, and he rubbed his cock against Seth's slim, muscled thigh. He wanted this; he needed it. But deep within the need was a cold sliver of fear. He felt as if his whole self was being shaken apart, overwhelmed, lost in a tide of sensation. Seth must have felt it, for he slowed down, trailing kisses over Christian's neck and collarbone. His hands stroked, soothed. Slowly, the fear subsided. Seth's hands slid beneath Christian's tight shirt and peeled it off. Christian felt a momentary pang of self-consciousness—he'd tried to keep himself in shape, but he wasn't anywhere near as gorgeous as Seth. "Nonsense. You're beautiful." Seth's lips touched his ear. "Take off your pants." The command sent electric tingles racing up his spine. He took a deep breath. With trembling fingers, he unbuttoned his jeans, and slowly slid them down, leaving only the thin cotton 31


boxers between himself and the open air. There was a wet spot on the cloth where precum had leaked from his cock. Seth tapped a finger against the waist of his boxers. "These too." Heart racing, Christian slid the boxers off. His cock was rock-hard, so engorged and tight it almost hurt. A bead of clear fluid clung to the slit. Seth ran a finger lightly down the length of Christian's cock, his touch like a jolt of electricity. Slim fingers curled around the hard flesh and stroked. Then he leaned down and ran his tongue along Christian's dick, starting at the base and ending with a slow, warm lick over the head. The tip of his tongue teased the tiny, wet slit, while his fingertips traced tiny circles on Christian's balls. Seth's mouth opened and engulfed the first few inches of his cock. "Oh, Seth..." Seth took him deeper, enveloping him in wet heat. His head moved up and down, moist lips sliding along the length of Christian's dick. After a minute or two, he withdrew, licked his lips, and ran his tongue over the head again. Panting, Christian pushed his hips upward, but Seth held them down. "Not yet," he said, and unbuckled his belt. His pants slid down with a whisper of cloth. Mingled anticipation and fear shot through Christian. His heart was beating hard and fast. He shut his eyes, trying to compose himself, then opened them to see a huge, engorged cock just a few inches from his face. The long, thick organ was flushed so deep a red that the bulb-like head was almost purple. Christian blinked. 32


"Open your mouth." Christian didn't hesitate; the iron command in that voice left no room for hesitation. He opened his mouth, and Seth's cock plunged inside. Christian gagged slightly, but he wrapped his lips around that hard flesh and sucked as if the hard, hot cock filling his mouth were a huge piece of candy. Seth groaned. His eyes were unfocused, and little shudders ran through him as Christian's mouth tugged. He watched as Seth's balls swelled, growing tighter, rounder. He reached up with one hand and cupped them. They twitched in his palm, and Seth gave a soft grunt. Then he grabbed Christian's wrist and pushed it back to the bed. "Not unless I tell you to." Christian made a muffled, wordless sound of apology. Seth's fingers curled around his wrists like manacles, holding his arms at his sides, immobile, as Christian sucked his cock. He felt as if he were on a wild rollercoaster, one that had never been tested, one that might not be safe. This was like one of his fantasies. But fantasies were fantasies, and this was real. It was too much, too fast. His eyes watered. Seth pulled his cock from Christian's mouth. "Do you want me to stop?" "No," he said, breathless. "Are you sure? I feel confusion in you ... and fear. What's wrong?" "I..." A memory flashed into his brain. A dark motel room, filthy sheets, rough hands, fear, nausea, drugged weakness. A low, harsh voice, whispering ugly words that scraped like nettles. He couldn't move, 33


couldn't think, could only lie there, ropes biting into his wrists, as a hand with dirty fingernails ground a lit cigarette into his stomach. Seth's hands moved away from his body. His smile vanished. "You were hurt," he said. "Don't look," whispered Christian. In an instant, pleasure turned to shame. He felt cold. "Christian, listen to me. If someone hurt you, it's nothing to be ashamed of. It wasn't your fault." Christian took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. He pushed his hair out of his face, felt the sting of tears in his eyes, and looked away. "How much did you see?" "I felt a flash of fear and saw a few disjointed images. But that's all." Seth paused. "There are locked doors in your mind. I didn't look into those, because I had no wish to pry. But now, I wish I'd known. I would have been more careful with you." "I don't want you to see that." Christian blinked away tears. "It's ugly." "There's nothing ugly in you, Christian." "Yes. There is. If you knew..." "Let me see, then." His eyes were hard and bright, almost fierce. "Let me inside that part of your mind. Show me what happened." "No, please don't!" "All right," Seth said softly, the tone someone might use to calm a wounded animal. "All right." He pulled Christian into his arms and cradled him against his chest. Christian had a sense of strong, soft wings enfolding him in warmth. Seth's 34


fingers combed through his hair. With each touch of those long fingers, the ache of misery subsided a little. "Forgive me," Seth whispered. "I wanted to give you pleasure, and I hurt you instead." Christian took a deep breath. "It's not your fault." "Yes, it is. I should have been more gentle." "Even after ... after what happened, I still fantasize about being overpowered. Being dominated. Is that fucked up or what? I still wonder sometimes if I let it happen, if some part of me wanted it." "It's not the same. You know that." Seth's fingers continued to stroke his hair. "I've been surrounded by casual, cheap sex for too long. I should have known you would need more careful handling. Forgive me." "It's okay." His lips brushed Christian's ear. "Is there anything you want right now?" His voice was no louder than a breath. "Do you wish to be left alone?" "No, I don't want to be alone. Just hold me?" Seth nodded. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Three Christian stared into space. Four years, he thought. It had been four years since that night, and still, the memory had the power to freeze his blood. Even now, he was afraid to get close to another person, afraid to let his guard down. Would he ever get over it? Or would a part of him always be trapped in that night? "Seth?" "Yes?" "I-I don't want to stop. I've been alone too long. I need this. I need to be touched." "Are you sure?" Christian licked his lips. Everything inside him ached for Seth's touch, Seth's hands on his skin, Seth's mouth against his. But fear held him back. Memories stirred beneath the surface of his mind, like dark shapes glimpsed through murky water. A flash, and he was back in the motel room. Again, he saw those dirty hands and those cold, pale blue eyes. Again he felt the searing pain ... and worse than the pain, the soul-deep ache of betrayal, and the knowledge that his fear, his misery, was someone else's entertainment. He tried to push the memory down, back into the dark, musty cave of his subconscious, but it kept resurfacing. He pressed his face against Seth's shoulder. "I do want this. But I'm afraid. I keep thinking of..." He stopped, unable to even say the man's name. His throat knotted. "Whenever I 36


try to get close to someone, I think of him and what he did to me." Seth held Christian's head against his shoulder. "I wish I could heal you. But wounds of the soul are harder to heal than those of the body." "I just wish I could forget about it. Just for a little while. Just long enough to be with someone else without fear, without shame." For a moment, Seth was silent. "There is a way." Christian looked up. "How?" "If you let me guide your thoughts, I can make you forget completely. But I must know if you truly want this." "I do!" "Do not give your permission before you understand what I'm asking. If I am to take away your fear, you must surrender the control of your mind—your free will—to me. You must understand what it means. You'll be helpless, completely under my power. Is that how you want this to happen?" A tiny thrill of fear and longing went through Christian. He sensed that this was somehow more dangerous than anything he'd ever done, but oh, God, he wanted this. He wanted to love without fear, to experience pleasure without the shadow of his memories looming over him, tainting his joy. He wanted Seth. "Now, answer. Do you want this? If there is any hesitation in your heart, any doubt, say so." Christian swallowed. "You'll give me back my mind, afterward? You promise?" 37


Seth nodded. "Then yes." "Very well." Seth's brilliant eyes filled his vision, filled his whole being. He felt a little jolt of sensation in his center as something touched the core of his being, then a strange lightness, as if a heavy weight had been lifted from him. Was this, then, what it felt like to surrender the control of his thoughts? He didn't feel as if he were being controlled. He felt relaxed, wonderfully free. A dreamy bliss filled his heart and mind. Seth looked into his eyes. "Lay on your back." Christian obeyed without hesitation, his movements slow and dreamy, like a sleepwalker's. Seth trailed kisses down his neck, over his collarbone, to his chest. His tongue circled one nipple, and Christian felt the flesh pucker as Seth's warm saliva cooled. A hot, wet tongue lapped the tightening bud, then Seth's teeth closed around it and pressed gently into his skin. His thumb circled the other nipple. Christian's breathing quickened as Seth's tongue trailed lower, over his stomach, until his mouth hovered just over Christian's cock. Slim, strong fingers traced patterns on Christian's thighs, and he felt the blood rush to his dick, felt it rise and stiffen. Seth gazed at him a long moment, then averted his eyes ... but not before Christian glimpsed the sadness in their depths. And then the dreamy, relaxed bliss was gone, and his memories, his fears, his uncertainties, rushed back into his head with a jolt that jarred him to his core. Christian stared at Seth, confused and hurt. "What..." 38


"I can't," Seth said quietly. "I can't take you ... not like this." He looked into Christian's eyes. His thumb traced the curve of Christian's lower lip. "Even with your permission, I can't make love to you like this. Taking away your control is like drugging you. It is a false peace. I want you as you are, or not at all." "But it felt good." "Of course it did. Humans struggle under so many weights—the weight of memory, of fear, of choice. To shed those burdens can be a great relief. But it is those things that make you who you are. I can't make love to someone who's not even aware of himself. If I did that, you would regret it afterward. And so would I. I want you, Christian: your body, your mind, and soul. I won't reduce you to a vessel for mindless pleasure." Christian clung to him. His fingers clutched Seth's shoulders. He was trembling. He couldn't speak; his throat had tightened, cutting off his voice. But he knew he didn't have to. Seth saw inside him, saw everything he was feeling. At last, he forced a tiny whisper through his tight throat. "I still need you." Seth gazed into his eyes and stroked his hair. "You're sure?" "Yes. Just ... be gentle. Please." "I'll be very gentle." Seth's hand slipped between Christian's thighs again, and cupped his balls. He massaged them with his thumb, rubbing in slow circles. One finger slipped behind his balls and pressed the sensitive spot there, giving him a jolt of pleasure. Then he moved his finger farther 39


back, and brushed against his asshole. The ring of muscle tightened. "Relax," he whispered. Christian stared into those golden eyes and felt something un-tense within him, like a knot unwinding, and his clenched rim opened. Seth slid his finger inside, and Christian gasped softly. It had been such a long time since anyone else had done this to him. The sensation of that long, slender finger moving inside his body was new and strange, as if he were experiencing it for the first time. Then Seth rubbed a spot so sensitive that Christian gasped. His heart pounded, and his hands tightened into fists on the bed sheets as Seth pushed another finger inside him. "Let me know if it's too much," he whispered. "I'm all right." Christian swallowed, pulse thumping in his throat. His cock stood upright, throbbing. Seth traced a vein on its surface, and caressed the head with his fingertips. He lowered his mouth, and his tongue lapped the tip of Christian's, a swift flicker of movement, like a cat lapping a bowl of cream. Then he licked it again more slowly, dragging the wet velvet of his tongue across that sensitive flesh. Christian's toes curled. He watched, breathless, as Seth's mouth opened and engulfed him. His fingers continued to move inside Christian's body as his mouth glided up and down the length of his cock, stimulating him from within and without. Seth's tongue swirled over and around the head as he pulled back, then slid his lips down to the very base of Christian's dick, taking him so deep that Christian felt himself 40


nudging the back of Seth's throat. "That feels good," he whispered. Seth lifted his head and licked his lips. "We can just keep doing this, if you like." "I need more." Seth's gaze searched his; then he nodded. After another minute or two, he withdrew his fingers. "Are you ready?" Christian didn't have to ask what he meant. Breathing hard, he rolled onto his stomach. He heard a drawer open and looked over his shoulder to see Seth unscrew a jar's lid. He dipped his fingers inside, and spread the creamy mixture over his hard cock, then spread some more over Christian's asshole. Christian gave a start. "Are you okay?" "Yeah. It's cold, that's all." Seth set the jar aside, and parted Christian's cheeks with his thumbs, exposing his asshole. Two fingers delved inside him again, spreading the lube over his inner walls. Then the fingers scissored, stretching him. Christian bit his lower lip at the slight pain. Seth slid his fingers out and paused, one hand resting on Christian's thigh. "I can stop at any time." He stroked Christian's leg and kissed the small of his back. "At any moment you choose." Christian nodded, his throat suddenly tight with emotion. "Thank you." Seth positioned himself, and a moment later, something hard and hot nudged Christian's asshole. He gulped and resisted the instinct to clench up. His eyes closed as the lube41


slicked head of Seth's dick pushed into him. It felt even bigger than it looked. "Relax," said Seth. Christian took a deep breath, and willed his muscles to relax. Once the first few inches were inside him, Seth stopped, waiting. "More," Christian whispered. Seth pushed forward again, and Christian felt his walls stretching to accommodate that long, thick cock. A soft groan escaped his throat. There was a momentary discomfort, followed by a slowly deepening pleasure. When Seth had sheathed himself completely in Christian's body, he paused again, letting Christian get used to the sensation. Panting, Christian pushed back against him, and Seth began to move, hips rocking against Christian's as his cock slid smoothly in and out of that tight hole. Each thrust brought the head of his cock firmly against that little bundle of nerves deep in Christian's body, giving him a sweet jolt of pleasure. As Christian relaxed into the rhythm, he began to move with Seth, pushing back and rocking forward again. "Yes ... oh Seth, that feels so good..." Seth's hand cupped his cheek, turning his face, and his lips pressed against Christian's. His tongue slipped inside and moved within Christian's mouth as his cock moved within his body, a slow, sweet dance. Christian had ached for this for so long. He'd spent so many nights alone, longing to be taken—not just fucked, but loved—to feel another's body moving over his, in his, to care about that person, and know that person felt the same about 42


him. He hadn't realized just how desperately he needed it, until now. He felt Seth push deeper into his body, heard a soft moan escape Seth's throat, and he knew that Seth wanted this, needed this as much as he did, but was restraining himself, being slow and gentle for his sake. The knowledge warmed him to the core of his soul. Seth's hand moved between Christian's thighs, wrapped around his dick, and pumped in rhythm with his thrusts. Christian felt his balls swelling, growing tight and full as he neared the edge. Another thrust pushed him over, and he cried out against Seth's lips as he spurted come onto the sheets. The world went momentarily dark as his eyes rolled back in his head, and a wave of dizzying pleasure washed over him. Seth finished with another few thrusts, came with a soft grunt, and pulled out of him. They flopped down to the bed together—bodies hot, flushed, and glistening with sweat. Seth pulled Christian into his arms and stroked his damp hair from his face. "Oh, Seth. That felt incredible." "You deserve to feel good." Seth kissed him again, the softest touch of lips. "I want to give you that." Christian laid his head on Seth's chest, feeling safer and more content than he had in years. "Why are you so kind to me?" Seth smiled. "What are angels for?" Christian snuggled against him. "I'm glad I found you." For a few minutes, they lay together, limbs intertwined. Christian listened to Seth's heartbeat, drifting in and out of a light 43


doze. He would have happily stayed in that moment forever, but gradually, the dreamy bliss receded and cold reality crept back in. "What are you thinking about?" Seth asked. "I'm just wondering what I'm going to do. How am I going to get out of this mess? I mean, if those red-cloaked things are looking for me, they'll eventually come here, won't they?" "Probably." "Then where should we go? Is there anywhere in Darkside that's safe?" "Nowhere in Darkside. But perhaps there is another way. It may be possible for you to return to Earth. There, the Eaters cannot touch you." Christian pulled back to look up at Seth's face. "You mean I could come back from the dead? But that's impossible, isn't it?" "Darkside lies between the worlds of life and death. You're not exactly alive, here, but you aren't fully dead either. It may be possible for you to return to your body." "But I've been here for a while now. If I go back to my body, it might be in the middle of an autopsy or in a freezer or something." "Time passes differently in Darkside. It runs slower and, now and then, backward. Most likely, you will return to Earth a few minutes before your death. You will be able to alter the course of events." Christian's heartbeat quickened. There had to be a catch. "How?" 44


"On the far edge of Darkside, there is a doorway to Earth, a hole in the barrier between worlds. Lesser demons can't pass through it, since they belong to this world, but human souls can." Christian's mind whirled. He could return to Earth. To his life. Except ... "You can't come with me, can you?" "No. I am bound here." Christian lowered his gaze. He'd known Seth for barely a day, but already, his heart cried out in protest at the thought of leaving him. "You belong in the world of the living," Seth said gently, "not here." "I guess you're right. Still, I don't have a whole lot on Earth to go back to. Just a minimum wage job and an apartment I can barely afford. No family, not even a fucking pet." He stared down at the bed sheets. "I've always been shy. It's never been easy for me to meet people, and after what happened, I just withdrew completely from the world, because I wasn't strong enough to deal with it. Since then, you're the first person I've ever really felt safe with. I don't want to leave you." "If I could, I would keep you by my side. But it's too dangerous for you here. I'm sorry." Seth framed Christian's face between his hands and kissed him. Christian couldn't speak. A lump filled his throat. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Four They left the mansion, riding double on Seth's bike. The bike raced down a broad dirt road, through the rolling grayyellow fields, toward a jagged mountain range in the far distance. Christian sat, his arms wrapped tightly around Seth's slim, hard waist, his cheek resting against the angel's leatherjacketed back. Now that he had some idea of what to expect, being on a speeding motorcycle wasn't so terrifying. He breathed in Seth's leather-and-cigarette smell. It wasn't the way he'd expected an angel to smell—not that he'd ever really considered the question—but it somehow seemed comforting and right. They rode for most of the day without speaking. Christian clung to Seth and stared at the naked, gray peaks in the distance as the grassy plains gave way to scattered trees and scraggly bushes. Gradually, the sparse vegetation vanished. They rode through a flat, unchanging gray plain, with only rock outcrops and the occasional stunted tree to break up the monotony. Seth glanced at the sky. "It's getting dark. We should make camp." He slowed, stopped, and helped Christian off the bike. Christian looked around. They'd landed next to a dead, bone-white tree, little more than a trunk with two broken boughs. It was the only thing around for miles. "Hungry?" asked Seth. 46


Christian nodded. Seth opened a small bundle tied to the back of his bike. He took out a thermos and a bag of trail mix and handed them to Christian. "Thanks." Christian took a swig from the thermos. He didn't realize how thirsty he'd been until the cool water slid down his throat. Seth sat under the dead tree and lit a cigarette. He patted the ground next to him. Christian sat and chewed a mouthful of trail mix. "I still don't understand. If I'm dead, why do I have to eat and drink?" "You don't. But you remember food, water, and sleep, so you feel hunger, thirst, and fatigue. What you have now is not a body so much as the memory of a body." "It sure feels real." Christian shivered in the cool air. Seth took off his jacket and draped it around Christian's shoulders. It was warm, and it smelled like Seth. He breathed the scent in, holding it deep in his lungs. Seth took the half-finished cigarette from his mouth, dropped it to the powdery soil, and ground it out beneath the sole of his boot. "Seth..." Seth smoothed a few strands of hair from Christian's brow. "Yes?" "What happened to you? How did you wind up here, in Darkside?" "I was cast out of Heaven a long, long time ago." "But why?" 47


"Because I opposed the Council. I led a rebellion against them and failed." He sighed. "The Council has been in power ever since I became an angel. They claim they were hand picked by God Himself to judge the souls of the dead. Even if that's true, which I doubt, I don't believe any loving God would approve of how they're running things. They're cruel and merciless. I thought that if I gathered enough angels to my side, I could overthrow them. Perhaps I was a fool, but for all the countless centuries I've lived in this bleak place, I haven't regretted my actions for a single moment. Better to live as an outcast for all eternity than be a lackey to those arrogant, heartless beings." Christian's eyes lingered on Seth's face, so inhumanly beautiful, so young and yet so ancient. "You said, 'since I became an angel.' Does that mean you were something else, once?" "Yes. I was human, long ago. Some angels have been around since the Creation, but most of us are transformed human souls. After my death, an angel named Mihr took me under his wing." "Where is he now?" "Dead." Seth's face was calm and impassive, but there was a shadow of pain in his eyes. "He was killed in the rebellion." Christian winced. "I'm sorry. I didn't know angels could die." "We are immortal, but we can still be destroyed." He looked up at the sky. "Mihr was gentle and kind, so unlike the Council. He loved mortals. That's why he made the effort to save me. I died at a young age ... sixteen, perhaps 48


seventeen, I don't remember. I'd led a hard, ugly life. I'd been a prostitute and a thief. The Council was ready to damn me. Mihr pleaded with them for my sake, agreed to take total responsibility for me, to train me as an angel. He saved me from Hell." Seth smiled, a tiny, painful smile. "I owe him everything." "You loved him," Christian said quietly. "Didn't you?" "Very much." Christian laid a hand over Seth's, and they sat in silence for a moment, holding hands. "Do many humans become angels?" asked Christian. "Very few. It's the exception, not the rule." "Then what happens to most?" "The Eaters take them," he said grimly. "The Council's standards have become more demanding with each passing century. A shred of doubt, a hint of impurity is enough to condemn someone." "Then what chance do I have? Why return to Earth?" "Any chance is better than none. If nothing else, it will buy you some time, give you the chance to live a full life." "I just don't understand. Why does God allow this? Why does He let the Council run things like this, if this is against His will?" "God allows humans to make mistakes, even if those mistakes cost others their lives. Otherwise, free will would be meaningless. Maybe angels are the same way ... but the consequences of our mistakes are more disastrous by far."

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Christian hugged his knees to his chest and stared into space. "Seth ... you said that this body wasn't your true form." Seth nodded. "Can I see you as you really are?" "Are you sure? It might alarm you." "I want to see. Please." "Very well." Seth stood. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Wings burst from his back, huge, white, and shining. Rays of light radiated outward from his form. His clothes vanished, as if they'd been burned to ashes in an instant. His body shone as if he were sculpted from light. Christian fell back, shielding his eyes with his hands. Seth's eyes opened slowly. They were like two suns, golden and radiant. He spread his vast wings, and they glowed against the sky. A halo of pure, warm light surrounded him. Awe, terror, and love flooded Christian's heart. He stared through his spread fingers, trembling, half-blinded. Then the light faded. Christian blinked. When his vision cleared, the Seth he knew stood there—lanky, pale, with disheveled hair and warm, golden eyes. "Oh, Seth. That was..." He trailed off, overwhelmed, still trembling. Seth crouched beside him. "Are you all right?" Christian nodded. He touched his own cheek and felt the wetness of tears. "You're just so gorgeous. It hurt to look at you, you're so beautiful." "Not as beautiful as you." Gentle fingers lifted Christian's chin. Seth's mouth covered his. Slender, firm hands slid down 50


his body, to his waist, and pulled him tight against Seth's wiry frame. Christian's lips parted, and Seth's hot tongue slid into his mouth. There was a tiny shock within him, as if an invisible finger had reached inside and touched the center of his being. Then a sweet, heavy bliss spread over Christian's heart like warm honey. It was like some wonderful drug. He felt as if he were floating. He went limp in Seth's arms. Seth gazed down at him, and Christian could see nothing but those warm, suncolored eyes. He seemed to feel that gentle gaze deep inside him, and he knew that Seth saw his secret self—all his imperfections, his doubts and longings—saw it all, accepted and loved it all. His body felt infinitely heavy and infinitely light. He couldn't move, didn't want to move. Warmth flowed into and through him, filling him up, as if he were a chalice and Seth was the wine. He had never felt so helpless, or so safe. "Do you feel that?" asked Seth. "Yes. Oh God, yes." His chest heaved. He lay, limp as a rag doll in Seth's arms. "What is it?" "My love for you." "You really feel that?" he whispered. "For me?" "Of course." "But we only just met." "That doesn't matter. Not to me. I loved you the instant I looked into your heart." Seth's lips brushed his cheek. "Your skin is so soft," he murmured. His mouth trailed down to rest against the pulse in Christian's throat. 51


Christian's chest heaved. His nipples were hard, tingling, their outlines clearly visible through his thin shirt. Seth pressed a fingertip against his right nipple, giving him a little jolt of pleasure. His cock tightened. "Take off your shirt," said Seth. He obeyed, heart pounding. Seth's thumbs caressed his nipples, toying with the sensitive, stiff little nubs. He slipped off his own shirt, revealing his trim upper body, so pale, so smooth, as if he were carved from solid ivory. Lean muscles rippled beneath that snowy skin. Christian stared. There was a jagged scar over his heart, marring the perfection of his chest. The scar tissue glared a bright, angry red. He realized that until now, he'd never seen Seth without his fishnet shirt, never noticed the scar. He touched it, trailing his fingers over its bumps and ridges. "What happened?" Seth placed two fingers beneath his chin and lifted his face. "It's not important. Later, perhaps, I'll tell you. But not now. Now, I want you to think only of pleasure." He wrapped his arms around Christian and pulled him close, bringing their chests flush against each other. Seth framed Christian's face between his hands, thumbs stroking his cheekbones, and kissed him, slow and deep. His hand slid down to the bulge in Christian's jeans and caressed it, and Christian moaned, deep in his throat. Seth's mouth pressed harder against his, claiming his. The heat of those firm lips, the movement of his tongue inside Christian's mouth, was enough to make him dizzy. 52


Seth picked up his jacket and spread it over the ground like a blanket. Then he pushed Christian gently onto his back. He straddled him and trailed burning kisses over Christian's neck, down his chest. He sucked one hard, aching nipple until the sensation of his mouth was almost unbearable, a sharp, burning sensation which teetered on the thin and brilliant line between pleasure and pain—but still, it wasn't enough. Christian writhed and panted beneath him. "Seth, please, please, I'm so turned on." Seth lifted his head and licked his lips. "What's your rush?" He reached down and squeezed Christian's thigh. "I want to savor every moment of this. I want to make a memory that burns bright in your mind for years to come. I want every sensation, every image, imprinted in your very soul." His hand brushed the bulge of Christian's erection. Christian gasped. His hips arched upward, but Seth pushed them back down and held them there. "Seth..." Seth touched a finger to his mouth. "Shhh." There was a knowing glint in his eyes. He rubbed his chest against Christian's. Smooth skin slid over his stiff nipples. "I wish we were back at my place. I have all sorts of toys to make foreplay more interesting." "You're enough," said Christian. "You're everything I want." "Sweet Christian. I've been looking for someone like you for longer than you'd ever believe." He rubbed Christian's thigh, tantalizingly close to his straining cock. He moaned. "Seth, please..." "Please what, dear one? Tell me exactly what you want." 53


Christian licked his lips. "Touch my cock," he whispered. Just saying it aloud brought another rush of heat to his face. Somehow, Seth knowing what he wanted was different from actually admitting that he wanted it. Seth smiled. "All you had to do was ask." With one hand, he undid the buttons of Christian's jeans, then tugged down the waistband of his boxers, exposing his stiff, engorged cock. One finger traced a vein running along the underside. Then his long, slender fingers wrapped around that hard flesh and began to move in a slow, up-and-down rhythm. His other hand moved beneath Christian's cock and cupped his full, heavy balls. Christian panted for breath, his face flushed and damp with sweat, as Seth rolled his balls across his palm, then teased them with his fingertips, rubbing their surface in tiny circles. One finger slipped behind them and pressed against the sensitive spot between his balls and anus. A small, hungry whimper escaped Christian's throat. His balls tightened, and the muscles of his asshole twitched. "What do you want?" Seth whispered into his ear. Christian swallowed. "I want your cock inside me." Seth's cheek brushed against his. Christian felt that warm breath on his neck, against his ear. "Get on your hands and knees." Christian obeyed, heart thumping. Seth pulled his jeans and boxers off, freeing his legs. His warm, long-fingered hands cupped the cheeks of Christian's ass and squeezed. His thumbs separated them, exposing his asshole. Then Christian felt something he hadn't expected: the hot, wet shock of Seth's tongue against his hole. He gave a start. 54


The tongue probed delicately, swirled over and around the ring of muscle then gave a long, slow, wet lick from Christian's full, throbbing balls to his asshole. The warm saliva quickly cooled in the night air. Christian gasped as Seth's tongue slipped inside him. He'd never felt anything quite like it. The tongue moved in and out, stroking him, plunging deeper than Christian would have thought possible to tease the sensitive flesh inside his body, until his rim and passage were wet with saliva. A moment later, Seth raised his head, and a slender finger pressed against Christian's hole. "You're clenched so tight," Seth murmured. "Relax. It will feel better if you relax." Christian took a deep breath. He felt the muscles of his ass loosen, just a bit, and a long finger slid inside his body. The finger moved, sending little flutters of pleasure through his belly, then pressed gently against the sensitive node deep inside him. A jolt of pleasure shot into his cock. He bit his lower lip to keep from crying out. Seth pressed again, a little harder, and Christian's rim tightened around his finger. "Don't silence yourself. Let me hear your voice." Seth caressed Christian's back with his free hand. "There's no one around to hear. Don't be afraid." A moan rose in Christian's throat, and this time, he didn't try to stifle it. Another finger joined the first and stretched him carefully. There was a tiny twinge of pain. "Are you okay?" "I'm fine. Don't stop." Seth withdrew his finger and reached into his travel bag. He pulled out a small bottle, unscrewed the bottle's cap, and 55


poured a thick, clear oil onto his fingers. The oil smelled faintly of lavender and vanilla. He spread it over and around Christian's asshole, then pushed his fingers inside him again. His other hand, meanwhile, moved between Christian's thighs to cup and fondle his balls. His fingers moved inside Christian's body, stroking the oil over every surface, stretching him, preparing him. It went on for so long that Christian squirmed with impatience, but finally, Seth withdrew his fingers and unbuckled his belt. His pants slipped down, exposing the hard, smooth length of his cock. "Are you ready?" Christian wet his lips. "Yes." The smooth, round head pressed against his asshole. Seth pushed forward, and his cock slid through the tight ring of muscle, into Christian's body. Christian's teeth pressed into his lower lip as Seth's cock filled him. It stretched him wide open, pushing deeper and deeper still, until it seemed that he would soon feel the tip pressing up against the roof of his mouth. Seth chuckled breathlessly. "I'm not quite that big." He grunted and pushed. Christian felt a shudder run through that lean, warm body. He was flushed, panting from the strain of accommodating that long, thick cock. Seth had been careful, though. He felt no real pain, just a steady, deep, pleasurable ache. "Keep going." Seth pulled back a little, then pushed forward again. He moaned. "So tight..." He thrust again, and the tip of his cock butted up against Christian's most sensitive spot. 56


Christian pushed back, trying to bring the rounded head of Seth's dick more firmly against that spot. He wanted more. The muscles of his ass clenched, and his rim tightened in a spasm around the base of the thick shaft. A tiny groan escaped him. Seth's hips moved against his ass. His cock slid back, then forward again, slowly at first, then faster, pumping in and out of Christian's tight, lube-slicked hole. A deep, aching pleasure spread outward from that spot deep within Christian's body. Seth reached beneath him, wrapped a hand around his cock, and pumped in rhythm with his thrusts. "Oh Seth ... oh ... more, please, I need it!" Seth's cock slammed into him again and again. Christian's cries grew louder and higher in pitch as Seth brought him closer and closer to the edge, until one last thrust pushed him over. Come spurted from the tip of his cock. Dizziness washed over him, and for a moment, the world went into free fall. A few more thrusts and Seth's body stiffened atop his. He came without a sound, then pulled out of Christian's body. Christian flopped to the ground, onto his back, chest heaving. Seth stretched out next to Christian and draped an arm around him. They lay close and silent, skin pressed against skin, hearts beating together. "Are you all right?" murmured Seth. "I'm fine." "You're crying." Christian touched his cheek and realized his face was wet with tears. He let out a small, hoarse chuckle. "I guess I am." He wiped his eyes. "Sorry." 57


Seth's arms tightened around him. "Don't apologize for your sensitivity," he said. "It's part of you. And I love it." Christian looked into Seth's eyes. He felt that warm, golden gaze deep inside him, like a gentle touch in his heart. It filled the empty spaces inside him. He had never felt so full. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you too, Christian. More than you'd ever understand or believe." Then why can't I stay with you? But he knew the answer. Seth would say he didn't belong in this world, that it was too dangerous for him. Knowing he was right didn't make it any easier. Something hard and bitter lodged itself in his throat, but he swallowed it and rested his cheek against Seth's shoulder. For a few minutes, he lay still, feeling Seth's heartbeat, the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. Then he touched the smooth skin next to the jagged, red scar over Seth's heart. "What is this from?" Seth hesitated then replied, "The sword of Andrael." "Who?" "A warrior-angel. I fought him once, long ago, when I led the rebellion against the Council. And I lost." "The scar still looks new." "It will never fade. Wounds made by that sword never heal completely." He stared off into space. "When he thrust the blade between my ribs, into my heart, the very tip broke off and remains within me to this day. Were I not an angel, it would have killed me, but my body can heal fast enough to repair the damage." 58


"Does it still hurt?" "It hurts more than you can imagine. That weapon had a life, an intent, of its own, and that bit of metal is still trying to destroy me from the inside out." Seth touched the scar. "It can't be removed." A chill prickled up Christian's spine. "You feel it all the time?" Seth nodded. "What is it like?" "I don't want to upset you." "I want to know. I want to understand." Seth stared off into the distance. "It's like being burned alive." He spoke so calmly, yet the look in his eyes chilled Christian to his core. "Like acid eating through my insides. But I can endure it. It's my burden to bear, and I chose it when I chose to defy the Council." "No, it isn't right. You shouldn't have to suffer like that. Seth, I'm so sorry." "Don't be. The pain reminds me of why I'm here, of who my enemies are, and what I'm up against. I don't want to forget who did this to me. As long as I exist, I will never lose the desire to fight them. I will never stop searching for a way out." He rubbed Christian's back. "You should get dressed. You've got goose bumps all over you." Christian nodded, eyes downcast. Seth helped him into his clothes then wrapped his leather jacket around Christian like a blanket. Seth lay down on his side, spooned him and wrapped strong, slender arms around his waist. "Get some 59


rest." He nuzzled the back of Christian's neck. "We've got another day's ride ahead of us." Christian stared into space, thinking about the jagged scar over Seth's heart. "Sleep," said Seth. With two fingertips, he gently smoothed Christian's eyelids shut. He kissed them, first the right eye, then the left, his lips a warm pressure against those delicate veils of flesh. Perhaps it was something in Seth's kiss, or perhaps it was just his own exhaustion, but he fell asleep within seconds. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Five Christian woke with the sense that something was wrong. "Seth?" "Shhh." Seth sat up, scanning the darkness. Christian's heartbeat quickened. He waited. Then, when he could stand the silence no more, he whispered, "What is it?" "Eaters. They're close." A cold hand gripped his heart. "What should I do?" "Stay behind me." Seth stood. Christian followed suit and stepped behind him. His skin crawled, and chills raced up and down his spine, but he saw nothing in the shadows around them. Then, suddenly, there was a distortion, like a heat shimmer. A moment later, a dark opening blossomed perhaps fifty feet away, as if someone had torn a hole in the very air. The opening grew until it was as big as a doorway, and the first Eater stepped out. It looked just as Christian remembered, stooped and hunched, completely hidden by its red cloak. It looked around, hooded head raised, as if it were sniffing the air. Another stepped out, then another, and the opening closed behind them. Christian clutched Seth's arm. "Should we run?" "No point. They would catch us. We have to fight them. Stand back." He pulled out a sword, seemingly from thin air. Christian stepped back with a gasp. The sword was huge, and seemed to be made of pure, white light. It shone, a beacon against the darkness. The Eaters all turned toward it. 61


They lifted into the air and floated toward Seth, bobbing up and down slightly as they glided through the air. Seth stepped forward and brandished the sword. The Eaters drifted to a halt. They hovered and seemed to watch warily. One broke off from the group and drifted forward. A weird sound—a series of rapid clicks—drifted from its hood. Seth lunged and swung his sword. It cut clean through the Eater's middle, and a thin, inhuman squeal pierced the air. The two halves fell to the ground, twitching. Black blood poured from its severed ends and soaked into the dusty soil. The hood fell back, and for an instant, Christian glimpsed the creature beneath. It was not remotely human. It looked like some kind of monstrous insect, with bulging compound eyes and huge, black, clicking mandibles. Then the Eater stopped moving and dissolved into nothing, leaving only a black stain on the ground. The two remaining Eaters hovered for a moment, then floated forward again. Christian took a step backward, panting. "No!" snapped Seth. "Stay still. If you run, they'll be on you in an instant. Fear attracts them." Christian gulped and stood still, though it took all his willpower. He remembered the piercing cold of the Eater's grip on his arm, the pain as invisible tendrils reached into the center of his soul... "Don't think about it," said Seth. "Keep your mind blank. The more you fear them, the more power they have over you." 62


Christian struggled to control his thoughts. Every instinct screamed at him to run. The Eaters were moving closer, ever closer. Christian shut his eyes tight. A bright light blazed. He saw it even through his eyelids, a red glare, as if the sun itself had fallen to earth. He opened his eyes. For a moment they were so dazzled by the light that he couldn't see anything else. Then his vision cleared. The two remaining Eaters lay twitching on the ground, blood spilling from their torn open cloaks. Then they, too, dissolved. The blazing sword in Seth's hand dimmed, dwindled, and vanished. Seth let out a heavy sigh. His shoulders sagged. A sheen of perspiration glistened on his forehead. "Seth?" Seth looked at him and forced a smile, though his face was drawn and his eyes were glazed. "I'm fine. Just need to rest." He sat down next to his motorcycle and leaned back against the front tire. His eyes closed, and his chest heaved. Christian sat down next to him. "Thank you for protecting me." Seth opened his eyes and smiled. "I said I would, didn't I?" "I wish there was something I could do to repay you. You've done so much for me." Seth shrugged. "What are angels for?" He took a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his jeans pocket. With shaky fingers, he slid a cigarette between his lips and lit the end. "I'm out of shape. One short battle, and I nearly pass out in exhaustion. Though, in my defense, it's been centuries since I've had the chance to do anything like that." "What was that sword?" 63


"It was concentrated spiritual energy. My energy. Summoning the power takes a lot out of me." He exhaled a mouthful of smoke. "We'd better get going." "Just as well. After that, I don't think I could sleep." Seth straddled his motorcycle. Christian got on behind him and wrapped his arms around Seth's waist. Shaken and tired, he clung to Seth and snuggled against his back for comfort as the motorcycle sped through the empty, gray plains, toward the mountains. Christian dozed off twice, and each time, he woke with a start from dreams of clawed, grasping hands and huge insect faces. He'd just started to drift off a third time when Seth's voice broke into his consciousness. "The way is too narrow for the bike. We'll have to continue on foot." Christian lifted his head. They stood before a towering, bone-white, rock wall. They'd reached the foot of the mountains. Behind them lay miles of empty wasteland. Above, the stars stood out with crystal clarity, shining points of radiance against a black sky. Seth pointed to a narrow opening in the base of the rock wall, three feet wide and seven feet tall, like a doorway carved out of the raw rock. "That's the pass. We'll have to go single file." They left the bike behind them. Seth walked into the mouth of the pass, and Christian followed. The faint starlight quickly receded. Christian reached out, fumbling in the darkness, until his hand found Seth's. He gripped it tightly. Somewhere in these mountains was the doorway to Earth. This might be the last chance he had to be close to Seth ... to 64


breathe in that warm smoke-and-leather smell, to feel Seth's skin against his. Already, he felt as if his heart were splitting in two. Just a few days ago, he'd wanted nothing more than to go back to Earth. Now, he thought about his empty apartment, the lonely nights spent hugging his pillow, trying to pretend it was a warm, living body. Seth squeezed his hand. "This is a dead-end world, Christian," he said. "You still have a whole life to live. There's nothing here for you." Except you, thought Christian. They walked for what felt like hours through the unchanging darkness, feeling their way along the rough, rock walls. At last, the passage opened out into an enormous, steep-walled valley, like a giant stone bowl. At the far end of the valley, carved into the rock wall, was a doorway. The door itself was of ancient, weathered wood, faded to almost the same shade of gray as the rock itself, and crisscrossed with iron bars. "That's it?" asked Christian. "That will take me back to Earth?" "That's right." "Then ... I guess this is good-bye. Thank you for everything." He hesitated. "Will I ever see you again?" "When you die again, I will find you." Christian hugged Seth tightly, trying to ignore the prickle of tears in his eyes. Then he turned toward the door. He took a few steps. It felt as though he were pulling against some 65


invisible cord connecting himself and Seth. He felt it like a tug at his heart, felt it stretching painfully with each step he took. Christian stopped and turned. Seth stood watching him, his expression calm and shielded. "I don't want to go. I can't bear the thought of losing you." "Christian..." Seth stared into his eyes. Then he tensed and looked up. "They're here." Christian followed his gaze and saw three bright, winged shapes circling in the sky. "What are they?" "Angels." Two bright forms swooped down and landed between Christian and the door. The third landed in front of the pass, blocking the way out. Christian clutched Seth's arm, heart pounding. They were trapped. The tallest angel stepped forward, leaving its companion to guard the door. The angel's wings folded, and its light dimmed a little, enough for Christian to look at it without squinting. It had the form of a tall, slender man with long, silver-white hair. His face was smooth and unlined, but there was something unfathomably old about it. He stared at Christian, his expression cold and inscrutable. An icy hand squeezed Christian's heart. Like Seth's eyes, the eyes of the angel seemed to see into the dark and secret places of his soul. He found he couldn't look away, couldn't move. Unlike Seth, however, this angel looked at him with an unmistakable distaste, as if Christian were a squashed bug on the floor. The angel's gaze shifted to Seth. "I thought you might be involved with this. Still haven't learned your lesson, have 66


you? Still trying to rescue damned souls as if they were lost kittens? Did you really think we'd allow this?" "Let us through, Andrael," Seth said. "I don't think so." Seth pulled his sword of light from the air. It blazed in his hand like a piece of the sun. Andrael raised one thin brow. "You're going to fight us?" "If I have to." "You know you can't win." "I won't hand him over to you." Andrael sighed and drew a sword from the white-gold scabbard at his hip. The blade gleamed brilliant silver, as if it had been dipped in moonlight. "The Council has tried to be merciful. They could have destroyed you for your crimes, but instead you were only banished. Perhaps they were too lenient." Christian looked at the brilliant forms standing around them. They all radiated power. His stomach knotted. Seth was outnumbered, and weary from his battle against the Eaters. He had no chance. "Seth," he whispered. "Don't fight them. I'll turn myself in." "No," Seth said. He wrapped an arm around Christian's waist, and pulled him against his side. "I'll die before I let them take you." "So be it." Andrael raised his sword, and light exploded from the blade. Rays burst out in every direction, a vast sunflower of light. It blinded Christian, filling every corner of his vision. Wind roared in his ears. "Hold onto me!" cried Seth. 67


Christian clung tight, breathing hard, and pressed his face against Seth's body, but the light still stabbed into his eyes like white knives. Then an invisible force tore Christian from Seth's arms. "No!" roared Seth. A dark hole blossomed open in the ground beneath Christian's feet, and he plunged, screaming, into the void. He landed on something hard, and the impact jarred him to his bones. He lay, panting. Blackness surrounded him. Eaters appeared out of the darkness and closed in on him, hissing, mandibles clicking. Clawed hands gripped his arms, pinning him in place as the red-cloaked figures leaned close, and their foul, hot breath filled his nose. Then a brilliant light flashed overhead. The Eaters hissed and shielded their faces, shrinking away. Christian looked up. A hole blossomed in the darkness, as if the air itself had been slashed open, and brilliant light shone through. He saw Seth descending, blinding white wings spread wide, his sword blazing in one hand, his eyes twin suns. He landed on both feet. Two Eaters moved toward him. Seth's sword swept out in an arc, cleaving them in half. They collapsed to the ground and dissolved into nothing. Seth wrapped one arm around Christian and pulled him up, into the air. His wings beat, creating a miniature windstorm around them. The Eaters reached for them with brittle, clawed hands, but Seth's sword swept through them as if they were smoke, and they disintegrated into dust. "Hold onto me," he said, and his arm tightened around Christian's waist. 68


His huge wings beat and lifted them higher into the air, through a hole in the darkness. A blinding light filled Christian's eyes, and suddenly they were spinning through emptiness, hurtling through space. Christian hid his face against Seth's chest. The only sound was the steady beating of Seth's wings. Exhausted, overwhelmed, he blacked out. [Back to Table of Contents]

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Epilogue "Wake up, Christian." Christian's eyelids fluttered. He looked around at the fourposter bed, the dresser, the faded walls. "We're in your house," he murmured, "in your bedroom." "That's right." He looked up, into a pair of luminous golden eyes. Seth was still in his angel form, his true form, shining white and winged, and Christian lay in his arms, cradled against his chest like a child. Christian blinked. "How?" "I brought us here. Rest." One slender, white hand smoothed back Christian's hair. "Just rest." "What happened to the angels? The ones who attacked us?" "I defeated them. And just in time too. Another moment, and you would have been lost." Christian shuddered at the memory. "To think that that's what awaits people after death ... how can the Council be so cruel?" Seth's arms tightened around him. "Someday, I will change things. I swear it." "I want to help you." Seth stared into his eyes, his expression unreadable. "Do you know what you're asking?" "Yes. I want to stay with you, Seth. I don't want to go back to Earth. There's nothing for me there. I'll do anything, just please, let me stay." 70


Seth's slender, strong hands framed his face, and he kissed Christian, slow and deep. "I had hoped and prayed that would be your choice. But it had to be your choice. I had to give you every chance to return to Earth, to know that this was your heart's true wish." "I want this, Seth. I want it with all my heart." "So be it. But understand, there is no going back." "I understand." Seth laid his hands on Christian's shoulders. "It will hurt for a moment," he said. "What will h—" A hot, sharp pain shot through his middle. He gasped and doubled over. Beads of sweat welled on his brow. He clutched the sheets, breathing hard, as the pain increased. His heart, his stomach, his lungs ... everything burned, as if his insides had been bathed in fire. "What's happening to me?" he said through clenched teeth. "Just hold on. It will be over soon." "What will?" "Your transformation." Christian bit his lower lip, hard, and tasted the hot salt of blood. Sweat dripped from the tip of his nose and stung his eyes. A splitting pain ran down the center of his back. He felt as if he were being peeled like an orange, turned inside out. An ugly, wet sound ripped through the air, and the world vanished in a red flood of agony. Christian screamed ... then, abruptly, the pain was gone. He flopped to the bed, panting, shaking, dizzy. Christian raised his head and met Seth's calm gaze. "What did you do to me?" "Look," said Seth, and pointed at the mirror. 71


Christian looked at his reflection and gasped. A soft, pearly glow enveloped his body. Shining, white wings arched from his back. He flexed them, felt them stretch toward the ceiling. He looked down at his hands. They were pale, shining and translucent, like sunlight through glass. His mind whirled. "How?" "I told you that some angels start out as human souls, didn't I?" He touched Christian's cheek. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to cause you pain. But it was unavoidable." "I'm an angel?" whispered Christian. "Yes. This way, you'll be able to remain here in Darkside ... but you can never return to Earth." Slowly, Christian stood. He spread his wings again, so wide the tips nearly brushed the walls. He felt the strength of his new body, vibrant and bright. Fear and confusion gave way to a dawning wonder, a soaring joy. He had never felt so alive, so light and free. He clutched Seth's hands. "Does this mean we can fight them together?" Seth nodded. His golden eyes blazed. "I had almost given up hope. But you reminded me of what I am fighting for. You gave me the will to defy the Council. They're not as strong as I thought. I took you from them, pulled you to safety. I beat them. If I did it once, I can do it again." His strong arms wrapped around Christian's waist and pulled him close. "Yes, Christian. We will fight together, always together, and nothing will tear you from my side. We'll be the start of a new hope." His mouth pressed against Christian's, and a sweet, dizzying rush of joy spread through Christian's heart. He wrapped his new wings around Seth. 72


Warm hands slid down his back to cup his buttocks. Seth squeezed gently as he trailed kisses down Christian's neck, over his collarbone and chest, until his lips found one nipple. Under his mouth, it stiffened to a tingling point of flesh. Christian shivered. With his new body, everything felt different—sharper, clearer somehow. Every nerve ending hummed with life. He blazed like a torch as Seth's mouth worked his nipple, sucking until it almost hurt. Warm, slim fingers trailed over Christian's flat stomach, then farther down, to stroke his thigh. His cock hardened. Seth's fingers closed around it and stroked it from base to tip. Christian's breath shuddered in his throat. Seth's lips brushed his ear. "To the bed," he whispered. Christian lay down on the bed, and Seth stretched out on top of him. His thumbs circled Christian's aching nipples, tracing the puckered areolas. Seth's hands slid down the length of Christian's body to rest against his thighs. He pushed them apart, fully exposing his cock and balls; then his mouth descended. He kissed Christian's inner thighs and trailed his tongue over that smooth flesh, moving ever closer to the place where Christian needed his mouth the most. His cock stood upright, rigid, and throbbing. Seth ran his tongue around the swollen head, and a bead of precum welled up from the slit at its tip. Seth's tongue swept it away; then his mouth closed around it and sucked. Christian moaned softly, deep in his throat, as Seth reached behind his balls. One finger stroked his sensitive rim. Christian reached up and slid his hands over those smooth, pale shoulders, over Seth's back. He could feel those sharply 73


defined muscles beneath the ivory skin, like iron sheathed in warm velvet. He touched Seth's wings, stroked the silky feathers. He kissed Seth's long, elegant throat, his small, pale pink nipples. His tongue swirled around one, then his mouth closed over the stiff nub and sucked. Seth's skin tasted so clean, so sweet. Christian breathed in his scent, dizzy with pleasure. He reached between Seth's thighs to curl his fingers around that long, stiff cock. It was like living iron—it pulsed in his hand, hot and hard. Christian ran his thumb over the slit at its tip and licked his lips, thinking about that cock deep inside him, pumping in and out of his body. He knew Seth could see his thoughts, see every image and desire flitting through his imagination. Once, that might have embarrassed him. Now, he found, it turned him on even more. He had nothing to hide from Seth. "I want you," he whispered. Seth smiled. "Roll over." "Not yet. I want to do something for you first." Christian lowered his head and opened his mouth. Slowly, he ran his tongue over the head of Seth's cock, and felt a tremor ripple through that long, lean body. He licked the thick cock from base to tip, tasting the hot salt of precum when his tongue dragged across the head again, then wrapped his lips around the hard column of flesh. A soft moan escaped Seth's throat. "Oh, Christian ... that feels so good." A thrill raced through Christian's body. He slid his lips up and down the length of Seth's cock, taking it as deep as he could, until the tip nudged the back of his throat. With one 74


palm, he cupped Seth's balls. Seth's fingers slid into his hair, gripping tightly as Christian massaged his balls, rolling them across his palm. One finger moved further back, and he felt Seth's body twitch in surprise as he rubbed the spot behind those round, heavy balls. Seth panted. "Christian ... if you keep that up, I'll be finished before we've even started." Christian raised his head and ran his tongue over his lips. Seth tasted so good. He wanted to keep going, but he wanted Seth inside him even more. "Are you ready?" "Yes." Christian rolled onto his chest, knees bent beneath him. Seth gripped his ass in both hands and squeezed, so hard it almost hurt, but he wanted more. He felt Seth's tongue on his balls, moving in warm, wet circles. His balls tightened in response, growing rounder and fuller, until they ached for release. Seth drew one into his mouth and sucked. His thumbs parted Christian's cheeks, exposing his asshole. His tongue flicked against it, lapped it and circled it, teasing the sensitive flesh. Then, slowly, he pushed both thumbs through the tight ring of muscle and stretched it open. His slippery, hot tongue delved inside, giving Christian a jolt of pleasure, then began to move slowly in and out, stroking and caressing him. He rose and positioned himself over Christian. Christian felt a gentle pressure against his asshole. The pressure steadily increased as the blunt, smooth head of Seth's cock entered him, and the rest of his cock soon followed, sliding in, like a key into a lock. Seth moved slowly 75


inside him, hard flesh pressing into his body, withdrawing, then moving in again. One slender, firm hand cupped his cheek and turned his face, and Seth showered kisses over his forehead, his cheeks and eyelids as he fucked him slowly and deeply. Golden eyes gazed into his soul as a warm, skilled hand reached between his thighs and wrapped around his cock. Shining, feathered wings wrapped around him, shielding him from the world. "I love you," whispered Seth. "I love you too," he whispered back. He felt a pressure building in his balls, behind his cock. A few more strokes pushed him to climax, and he cried out, his wings spreading. Golden light flared around him, filling his vision as he came. Afterward, they lay together, Christian's head on Seth's shoulder, Seth's fingers smoothing his hair. A warm, contented glow enveloped Christian's heart. Pressed close to Seth's body, their arms and wings wrapped around each other, he knew he'd made the right choice. After tasting this bliss, he could never return to a mundane existence on Earth. "It won't be easy, you know," Seth murmured, lips moving close to his ear. "I know," whispered Christian. "But nothing worthwhile is ever easy." Seth kissed him, a slow, deep, lingering kiss that Christian felt down to the core of his soul. "You know," Seth said quietly, "I always thought I hated being trapped here in Darkside. But maybe it was being alone that I hated. Before, I felt like I was in Hell. But even though I'm in the same place, with you here, it feels like Heaven." 76


"Maybe that's what Heaven is—being with someone you love." Seth smiled. "Maybe you're right." [Back to Table of Contents]

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Amanda Steiger Amanda Steiger has lived in the Midwest her whole life, though she enjoys regular visits to other galaxies and dimensions in her mind. She enjoys cold weather, daydreaming, supernatural romance, and anime. She lives with her family and one very spoiled little dog. You can contact her at [email protected].

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Escaping Darkside

Darkside

Darkside

Darkside

Darkside

Darkside

Darkside

Darkside

Escaping Lightning

Escaping Fate

Escaping Destiny

Escaping Lightning

The Demons Of Darkside

Escaping Lightning

Darkside: A Novel

The Demons Of Darkside

return of the darkside

Darkside-Waking The Dead

Escaping the Good Samaritan Paradox

Different: Escaping the Competitive Herd

Escaping the Self-Determination Trap

Women Escaping Violence: Empowerment through Narrative

Fugitives: Evading and Escaping the Japanese

Real Monsters, Gruesome Critters, and Beasts from the Darkside

Real Vampires, Night Stalkers, and Creatures from the Darkside

Real Vampires, Night Stalkers, and Creatures from the Darkside

Real Vampires, Night Stalkers and Creatures from the Darkside

Lost Boy, Lost Girl- Escaping Civil War in Sudan

Escaping stigma and neglect: people with disabilities in Sierra Leone

Escaping the Bonds of Earth: The Fifties and the Sixties

Black Eye: Escaping a Marriage, Writing a Life

Escaping Darkside

Darkside

Darkside

Darkside

Darkside

Darkside

Darkside

Darkside

Escaping Lightning

Escaping Fate

Escaping Destiny

Escaping Lightning

The Demons Of Darkside

Escaping Lightning

Darkside: A Novel

The Demons Of Darkside

return of the darkside

Darkside-Waking The Dead

Escaping the Good Samaritan Paradox

Different: Escaping the Competitive Herd

Escaping the Self-Determination Trap

Women Escaping Violence: Empowerment through Narrative

Fugitives: Evading and Escaping the Japanese

Real Monsters, Gruesome Critters, and Beasts from the Darkside

Real Vampires, Night Stalkers, and Creatures from the Darkside

Real Vampires, Night Stalkers, and Creatures from the Darkside

Real Vampires, Night Stalkers and Creatures from the Darkside

Lost Boy, Lost Girl- Escaping Civil War in Sudan

Escaping stigma and neglect: people with disabilities in Sierra Leone

Escaping the Bonds of Earth: The Fifties and the Sixties

Black Eye: Escaping a Marriage, Writing a Life

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