Reflections of the Past

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WARNING: This book is not transferable. It is for your own personal use. If it is sold, shared, or given away, it is an infringement of the copyright of this work and violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

This book is for sale to ADULT AUDIENCES ONLY. It contains substantial sexually explicit scenes and graphic language which may be considered offensive by some readers. Please store your files where they cannot be accessed by minors.

All sexually active characters in this work are 18 years of age or older.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are solely the product of the author’s imagination and/or are used fictitiously, though reference may be made to actual historical events or existing locations. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

Cover Photo Credit: Pedro Simoes Used under a Creative Commons license. Cover Design: Selena Kitt Reflections of the Past © 2008 Rachelle Le Monnier eXcessica publishing All rights reserved

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Reflections of the Past By Rachelle Le Monnier

eXcessica gratis * free fiction

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The scent of roses wafting in through the open window brought a brief hint of a smile to her cracked lips. With a pang of melancholy, it reminded her of the glorious days of summers long since passed. Endless weeks of cornflower blue skies and lazy hours spent walking, laughing, and most of all, loving. It all seemed an age ago now. Like sepia tinted photographs of another lifetime. If Eloise tried very hard, she could dredge up the faces and the places, but most of the time they stayed just out of reach; ghosts haunting the periphery of her mind with their blurred features and muffled laughter. Occasionally a song playing on the radio or a name mentioned at random would trigger a flood of images and feelings, but mostly Eloise’s memories were imprisoned in a locked filing cabinet with the key long since misplaced. Crisp, clean sheets were cool against her skin. Filtering in from outside, the rumbling sound of Robbie mowing the fragrant grass soothed her chaotic thoughts, and the restlessness that had plagued her all morning abated. She was tired; she was always tired now. Sleep beckoned, whispering hypnotically in her ear, promising pain free peace. Gratefully, Eloise closed her eyes as her body succumbed to the medication she had been given earlier. As the dark numbness descended, she saw him again, only this time his face was etched with a brilliant resonance, every detail so crisp in its clarity that she felt like he was really there…reaching out to her… **** Humid steam rose from the lush foliage as the morning sun beat down from a cloudless sky. It had rained over night: a sudden downpour, most unexpected in its savage ferocity. The deluge had been so heavy that the rain had flattened some of the precious blooms growing in the rose garden and Eloise knew that Mother would be cross when she saw them later. But Eloise had skipped through the garden and out of the rickety gate with abandon, uncaring of the bruised and scattered petals. Today was not a day for worrying about such inconsequential things. Oh no. She had more important things on her mind. Her simple cotton shift dress clung to her body as she began to perspire in the oppressive heat. Despite the storm the previous evening, a sense of sultry lethargy still hung in the air and Eloise soon slowed down once she was out of sight of the house. The trees grew thickly as she entered the woods. Here the air was cooler, a welcome respite from the still, stagnant atmosphere of the fields that lay beyond the crumbling wall of the garden.

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Pausing to pluck a small, white flower that was growing in a patch of sunlight, Eloise heard something. The sound was so faint that for a moment she thought she was imagining it. But then she saw something move in the purple shadows. A small deer stood watching her, its body taut with tension as it prepared to flee. She blinked and in a heartbeat the doe had gone leaving her with only a brief glimpse of white tail as it vanished into the undergrowth again. When two hands abruptly grabbed her waist from behind, Eloise almost screamed. “Got you!” a male voice said with a laugh. She turned and scowled at Ned furiously. “Don’t do that to me – it’s not funny!” But she couldn’t keep up the pretence of anger for very long. Not when he grinned at her in that lop sided way that made her stomach flip and her heart thump a little faster. Her face broke into a helpless smile and he stuck his tongue out at her jauntily. “Come on,” Ned said, “We haven’t got much time left, so let’s make the most of it.” Eloise’s smile faded instantly and he noticed. “Hey, don’t be sad!” he implored softly as he held her small hand in his own. “I won’t be gone long.” It was a lie and they both knew it, but Eloise said nothing. Their last few hours together were too precious to waste on melancholy thoughts. She wanted to remember this day as something happy, not sad. So she smiled bravely at Ned and was rewarded with a look of relief. Still holding hands tightly, they headed along the path that meandered deeper into the woods. **** Sweat trickled down between her breasts as they walked slowly though the trees. The further they went, the thicker the undergrowth became. Ned was quiet for once, his face closed and pensive, and she knew that he was thinking about tomorrow. But then so was she. It hung over them like a bleak cloud; an ominous portent of doom. The musical sound of water distracted her from her thoughts and when the path twisted one final time through the trees, they found themselves in a grassy clearing beside a sparkling pool. At the far end of the pool, water cascaded down the side of the granite cliff in a picturesque waterfall. Green fronds festooned the rocks and tiny white flowers bloomed everywhere. It was a magical place.

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“I’ve never been here before,” marvelled Eloise with surprise as she surveyed the scene in enchantment. Ned grinned at her expression of delighted astonishment. “Shall we eat…or swim?” He dropped the small canvas bag he had been carrying on to the grass. “Swim?” Eloise exclaimed with uncertainty. “But I have no bathing suit.” Disappointment clouded her pleasure; the water looked so cool and inviting. Ned looked around pointedly. “There’s nobody here, Ellie,” he said with a wink. For a moment she didn’t understand what he was hinting at, but when he began to tug his shirt off, she realised immediately. A slow flush of colour suffused her cheeks as she watched him strip his clothes off in the dappled sunlight. Ned turned away and dropped his trousers and the sight of his tanned, muscular backside sent a sharp stab of something unfamiliar shooting through Eloise’s belly. She wanted to turn away, but she couldn’t. Her eyes were drawn to his golden body like a bee to pollen. Although she had seen the farm hands stripped to the waist before, she had never seen a man’s naked body, least of all Ned’s. As he spun to face her, completely unabashed, and tossed his clothes in her direction, curiosity compelled her gaze to drift lower, down to that place between his thighs. Although she had heard the maids talking about that thing that men had, it didn’t look at all like how she imagined. Ned caught her looking and she felt the tension between them escalate until she could hardly breathe. It was if every particle of oxygen in her lungs had frozen and she became acutely aware of her heart beating so hard it threatened to burst right out of her chest. The moment was broken when Ned abruptly turned before running to the edge of the pond. He jumped of a rocky outcrop into the sparkling pool with a huge splash and his dark head disappeared beneath the glistening surface as he swam away from her like a seal. Eloise watched, but he didn’t resurface. The minutes ticked by and she began to panic. Maybe he had hurt himself? Maybe he was trapped, caught up in a bunch of weeds? Deciding she couldn’t wait any longer, she hurriedly stripped her dress, underwear and boots off, throwing them carelessly on to a rock, before diving into the turquoise water. The frigid cold snatched her breath away, but she swam beneath the surface with grim determination, looking frantically for signs of Ned’s lifeless body. There was no trace of him in the clear water and she broke the surface again, almost in tears.

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“Ned!” she yelled but only the echo of her own voice bounced back, taunting her. She trod water for a few seconds, looking around and then swam towards the waterfall. Something beneath the surface brushed across her legs and she screamed in fright, swallowing a mouthful of water as she flailed around. When Ned bobbed up and grabbed her waist firmly, she didn’t know whether to cry with relief, or hit him for scaring her. “I thought you’d drowned!” she hissed before coughing as salty tears mixing with pond water on her ashen cheeks. Ned’s grin faded when he saw how upset she was. “Silly girl,” he scolded. “Come on, follow me – I want to show you something.” He released her to swim towards the cascading waterfall. As Eloise watched with bemusement, he dipped below the surface and vanished through the curtain of water. Curiously she followed him. When she resurfaced behind the curtain of water, she gasped in amazement. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Ned said as they reached the shelf of rock that bordered the hidden cave. “I’ve never seen anything like this…” Eloise’s voice trailed away as she looked around, absolutely captivated. Minerals in the rock sparkled like tiny jewels and the cave glowed with a strange iridescent green light. Sunlight caught droplets of water and created a million rainbows that shimmered in the damp, humid air. Despite the languid heat outside, here in the dim cave it was relatively cool. She swam towards Ned and he grabbed her again, a brown arm slipping comfortably around her waist. “I’m sorry I scared you,” he apologised earnestly. Water from her sopping hair dripped into her eyes and she mindlessly brushed it away. “That was cruel,” she admonished, still annoyed with him for being so thoughtless. “Forgive me?” His green eyes twinkled and she melted. “I suppose,” she said. He pulled her closer until their bodies touched, the heat of his skin scorching her despite the coolness of the water.

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“Are you hungry?” he asked in a low, husky voice. “I…I don’t know…” Food was the furthest thing from her mind at that moment. She was scared, exhilarated, and confused all at the same time. “I am,” he said. His eyes darkened until the emerald green irises were barely evident. Somehow she knew that they weren’t talking about food any more. She could feel him throbbing against her belly and although she wanted to reach down and touch him, she was afraid. Instead she concentrated on the way his muscles flexed beneath the surface of his skin as he held her afloat. His mouth moved towards hers inexorably and she gripped him tightly as he finally kissed her. Unable to suppress a shiver of anticipation that racked her slim body, her lips parted to allow his questing tongue access to her mouth. Although they had kissed before, many times, Ned had always pulled away when things grew heated. Eloise knew that he respected her and she loved him for his patience, but this time it felt different and despite her nervousness, she was not all that certain she wanted him to stop. After tomorrow they might never see each other again and if these were to be their last few hours together, then at least she would have something to remember him by. Something special… Her back brushed the edge of the rocks as Ned broke the feverish kiss. The water was chilly and despite the heat of the day, she was beginning to feel cold. “Come on,” he whispered in her ear, “Let’s go back into the sun.” He broke away from her and dived under the waterfall. Still shivering slightly, Eloise followed him, swimming gracefully across the pond until she reached a point where she could climb out easily. Ned was already lying amongst the long grass, soaking up the hot sun as he watched her lazily. His naked body commanded her attention and with little effort her eyes were drawn to his cock once again. This time, however, he was achingly hard, although he made no attempt to hide it from her. Despite her own nudity, she felt strangely unashamed. Her long hair hung down her back in dark strands, a sharp contrast against her milky white skin. Ned gaze upon her body only fanned the flames of her desire as he took in every facet of her form. As the sun dried the water on her skin, fresh moisture pooled between her legs and she slowly walked over to where Ned was waiting for her.

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She knelt before him, shaking with nerves and anticipation. “Are you sure?” he asked seriously as he reached out and wiped away a stray drop of water that lingered tantalisingly on the swell of her breast. She thought about it as the sun beat down relentlessly. “Yes,” she replied finally. Ned slid one hand around her neck and pulled her down into the grass. With his lips and hands he chased away any last doubts she had, until her body succumbed to the heights of pleasure she had never imagined even in her wildest dreams. When he pushed inside her, she felt pain, but only for a moment, then it was vanquished and she was lost. **** Eloise rested her head on his shoulder and listened to the insects buzzing as a faint breeze wafted the fronds of grass around them. It was so peaceful here; she was almost loath to speak for fear of breaking the magical spell that held her in its thrall. She never wanted to leave here. The realisation that real life would soon intrude on this, her final few hours with Ned, was heartbreaking. She loved him so much and the knowledge that soon he would be gone was almost too much to bear. He must have felt her tears, for he raised his body up on one elbow to look at her. “Don’t cry,” he said, wiping her eyes with his thumb. “I can’t help it!” she sobbed. The distant sound of a plane caused them both to look up. For a moment the grey metallic bird of war flew over the sun and a shadow fell across them both. It was both prophetic and chilling. Eloise shuddered visibly. “I love you,” Ned told her emphatically as he held her tightly, “And I promise I’ll always be there for you.” “Will you?” she said dully. As much as she wanted desperately to believe him, she felt in her heart that soon she would be saying goodbye for the final time.” “I will,” he promised. He kissed her again and she forgot her fears, if only for a short while.

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**** Tara reached her grandmother’s room and sighed when she saw that the old lady was asleep. The lucid moments where she was awake and alert seemed more and more infrequent these days. Tara missed her grandmother’s lively conversation, but the doctors had warned her last week that the end was near now. At least the medication kept her pain at bay. A nurse popped her head around the door and smiled at Tara. “Fancy a coffee?” she asked kindly. “That would be great, thanks Clair,” replied Tara gratefully. She was tired and it had been a long day. She supposed she could have headed straight home, but she hated to think that Eloise might wake up and have nobody there. Besides, Ben didn’t care whether she went home or not and as time went on, she wasn’t sure that she cared much either. But right now, she didn’t have the strength to do anything about that. It was easier just to ignore the obvious and let things slide. She would rather worry about Eloise than the demise of her relationship. “Here you go, love,” said Clair as she handed Tara the mug of coffee. “How’s she been today?” Tara cautiously sipped the hot liquid as she noticed how peaceful Eloise looked this evening. Clair hesitated before replying and Tara steeled herself for bad news. Although she knew Eloise was fading fast, she still found it hard to imagine life without her. God, she would miss her so much. “She’s been a lot better today,” Clair said brightly. “The new medication Doctor Jefferson prescribed seems to be helping.” Tara nodded. At least they were keeping her comfortable. “But it’s nearly over isn’t it?” Tara wanted the truth and she knew Clair would tell her. “Honestly? Yes, it’s nearly her time to go.” Clair shook her head sympathetically and left the room, thankfully closing the door on her way out. Tara didn’t want anyone to see her tears. But surprisingly the tears didn’t come. Instead a sense of peace fell over the room as she watched Eloise. The old lady was smiling in her sleep and Tara wondered what she was dreaming about. At least her dreams appeared to be free from the pain she had been dealt in life.

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**** Eloise screamed as the agonising pain ripped through her. She was dimly aware of the midwife muttering, but she couldn’t concentrate on her words. A cool cloth wiped the sweat from her forehead and she closed her eyes briefly in the short respite before another contraction hit. “Ned…I want Ned…” she moaned incoherently as the pain began to suck her down in a black spiral. Why isn’t he here yet? “Shush!” the midwife soothed kindly. “I’m sure he’s on his way. Mind you, if he don’t hurry, this baby will be here first!” The grizzled old woman chuckled throatily. She felt so alone. Ned had sent a telegram more than a week ago to let her know he would be back for two days leave, but since then, she had heard nothing. She knew he was as excited as she about the baby, so unless his battalion had had last minute orders, then he should have arrived by now. The nagging sense that something was wrong had been in the back of her mind for days. Another pain gripped her in a vice as it consumed her. Hands pried her legs apart and she was vaguely aware of her mother’s presence. It felt like her whole body was being torn apart. Surely the baby was coming now. It had to be. She didn’t think she could endure any more of this agony. **** When she came around, her mother was watching her, cradling a baby in her arms while the maid scurried around and collected the bloody sheets. Eloise stared at the baby – Ned’s baby - with a sense of disbelief. “Is Ned here?” she asked hopefully. Then she saw the expression on her mother’s face and a nameless fear flared deep inside. Her mother shook her head, refusing to look at her as she handed the baby over gently. Eloise examined her tiny daughter with a sense of detachment. She was perfect. Soft tufts of dark hair curled over her forehead and brilliant blue eyes stared back at Eloise unblinkingly. “There’s something I need to give you,” her mother said gravely. She pulled a piece of paper from her apron pocket and pushed it across the bed, towards Eloise. Without saying another word, her mother stood and walked across to the window, staring out into the damp garden, her tall frame held rigidly. Eloise unfolded the telegram, her hands shaking badly. The words blurred and danced around as the baby wriggled in her arms.

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Ned was dead. He had been killed in an air raid. She began to cry brokenly, her tired and weakened body shaking with grief. As if sensing her mother’s pain, the baby cried too. “She needs feeding.” Her mother’s words barely registered through her torment. The baby’s cries grew even louder, her wrinkled face turning bright pink with distress, and something flickered inside Eloise. She couldn’t fall apart. The baby – Ned’s baby – needed her. She had to be strong for the baby’s sake. They only had each other now. **** Something touched Tara’s hair and she awoke with a start to realise she had nodded off and fallen forward on to the soft bed. For a second she was disoriented and she looked up in confusion, then she recognised the familiar green walls of Eloise’s room and she saw that her grandmother was awake. “Sorry,” she apologised ruefully, “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” “Don’t be silly,” Eloise chuckled. Her voice was far weaker these days and Tara had to concentrate to hear her words. “You look tired,” she commented and Tara sighed. “You know how it is,” she replied with a shrug. Eloise gazed at her and Tara had the sudden sense that she could see right into her soul. It was a little unnerving. “Be patient, dear,” the old lady said as she held her gaze. “He’ll find you.” “Who?” Tara asked in bemusement. Her grandmother wasn’t usually given to flights of fancy like this. “You’ll see,” she said mysteriously. Then she smiled and sank back into the pillows. Tara decided to let the whole conversation go. It was clearly a side effect of the new medication the doctor had prescribed for the cancer. “Shall I fetch you a drink, Gran?” she asked, rubbing her eyes in an effort to wake up properly.

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“That would be nice, dear,” Eloise said gratefully. “Then maybe you can read a few pages of my book to me?” “Of course I will – be back in a minute with two teas.” Tara smiled when she saw the romance novel still sitting on the small table from the other night. They were not far from the end now and she had to admit, she was intrigued as to how the hero would rescue the silly heroine from her latest calamity. How one woman continued to find herself in so much bother was, quite frankly, remarkable. By the time she arrived back in the room, holding two mugs of strong tea, Eloise had the novel ready. Despite the sallow tint of her complexion and the grey hollows in her cheeks, the old lady still had some fire in her eyes. “Ok, are you ready to find out if Miriam gets her man?” Tara winked as she placed one of the mugs on the bed tray. “Definitely,” agreed Eloise. “Then I’ll begin,” said Tara. She sat down on the chair and picked up the novel, opening it at the pages where she had placed a bookmark. “Captain Randal halted in surprise when Miriam pulled a blade from beneath her lilac silk dress and thrust it defiantly towards him. “’I’ll spill your blood before I allow you to lay a finger on me, you brute!’ she cried in outrage. “’Then I’ll die a happy man…’ The vile Captain laughed scornfully as he reached out and…“ **** Eloise was yawning again by the time Tara had finished the penultimate chapter of the novel. The lovely Miriam had finally realised the brave hero was a gentleman, not a cad, and was on the verge of sacrificing her virtue to him. It was all hot stuff and Tara was surprised to find that she had forgotten all about her problems whilst reading the story. Now that she was about to leave Eloise and head home, her problems had returned with a vengeance - although home was not exactly an accurate description of the house where she and Ben were waging a bitter war of attrition. “You look sad,” commented Eloise knowingly. Tara shook her head as she popped the book back on the cupboard. “I’m fine,” she replied firmly. Her problems with Ben weren’t something she felt like discussing.

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“Sometimes you remind me so much of your mother,” Eloise said quietly as Tara leaned over to kiss her feathery cheek. “Do I?” Tara exclaimed in surprise. “You have the same stubborn streak that she had.” Eloise smiled faintly and her eyelids fluttered shut. “Sweet dreams,” Tara whispered as she closed the door. **** “Stop interfering!” Eloise bit back her anger and silently counted to ten. Losing her temper with her daughter never achieved anything - it just caused Helena to dig her heels in all the more. “I’m only trying to help, darling.” “I don’t need your help,” Helena cried as she threw some clean clothes in a bag, her cornflower blue eyes flashing with temper. “But what about Tara? You can’t keep moving her from pillar to post!” “She’ll be fine.” Eloise felt like screaming. Why couldn’t Helena see how selfish and stubborn she was being? It was always the same. The minute she fell in love with some no-good charmer, she moved heaven and earth to be with him, dragging her poor daughter along for the ride. Tara was such a sweet little thing – so affectionate and adorable. It was a miracle that she hadn’t been affected by the chaotic life she had led thus far. But fortunately she was young and as yet she was still untainted by the twilight world her mother inhabited. “She needs stability, darling.” Her fingers clenched tightly. Why can’t Helena see this? Helena paused in her packing to fix her mother with an exasperated look. “It’s only for a while, just until Mick sorts a flat and job out.” The houseboat they were currently living in was a hovel; Eloise had seen it only once and that had been enough. The roof leaked and it had reeked of cats. “Look, please let her stay here, with me, just for a few days.”

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Helena wavered. Eloise saw the uncertainty in her face. As stubborn as she was, Helena was not stupid and she could appreciate the advantages of leaving Tara with Eloise. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt for a couple of days,” she conceded reluctantly as she threw one of the new peach bath towels in her bag. Eloise’s eyes registered the blatant theft, but she decided to say nothing. She had a far more important battle to fight. “You can come back and collect her as soon as you get the flat.” At least this way Tara was safe for the time being. Anxiously hoping Helena wouldn’t change her mind again, Eloise gave her wayward daughter a brief hug before she left. She just wished she knew where she had gone wrong. As always, part of her couldn’t help but wonder if not having a father figure had contributed to Helena’s wild ways. Somehow, though, she doubted it. Although Ned was long gone, Eloise still loved him and she knew she would never love again. Despite plenty of offers over the years, she had never been able to stomach the idea of allowing another man into her heart. Mother had tried to marry her off dozens of times; she had always been uncomfortable with Eloise raising Helena alone, even though financially they were secure. Eventually even Mother had given up. ‘Stubborn as a mule,’ she’d been called too many times to mention. By the time Tara was settled in bed, Eloise was ready for bed herself. It had been a draining evening all round. Tara had been upset that her mother had apparently abandoned her again and Eloise had spent a long while calming her down until eventually the little girl fell asleep, clutching her favourite doll tightly to her small body. At least Tara was safe here. There was never any doubt in Eloise’s mind that Helena loved her daughter, but the fact remained, she wasn’t the most responsible mother in the world. She was just too selfish and head strong. A sharp knocking at the door roused Eloise from her maudlin thoughts and she walked down the hall to unlock it, eyeing the late hour and wondering if Helena had come back again. When she saw the two policemen standing on her porch, their faces masks of professional sympathy, Eloise knew immediately that, once again, something terrible had happened. The grim news was still a horrible shock. Helena was dead. Her boyfriend, Mick, had driven while under the influence of drugs and their car had been involved in a collision with another vehicle. Four people had died

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that night. The only thing Eloise had to be grateful for was that Tara had been spared the same fate. Now Eloise was all Tara had left in the world. **** The house was dark when Tara let herself in through the back door. She paused a while in the kitchen, wondering where Ben was. Although it was late, it wasn’t that late. Usually he was still up at this time, watching mindless drivel on the television, or surfing the net. Or goading me into another argument, she added silently. When she turned the fluorescent light on she saw the note propped up against the kettle. It had her name scrawled on it in familiar handwriting. Tara, I’ve taken some of my stuff and moved in with Eva. I’ll collect the rest of it when you’re not there. Ben. Tara read the note and almost laughed. The callous way he had ended their relationship was breathtaking in its brevity. The worst of it was that she actually felt relieved that he had finally left. Maybe if she could have committed to him, things might have worked out, but she hadn’t been able to. Tara had always known he wanted marriage and children, but she had been unable to take that step with him. She loved kids, but she wasn’t willing to bring a child into the world until she was certain she had found the right man to spend her life with. Ben just wasn’t the one. Deciding that it was too late for coffee, Tara headed off to bed. She crawled beneath the cool sheets and closed her eyes. Her mind began to drift and she suddenly remembered her grandmother’s strange words. Who will find me? It still made no sense, but for some reason she felt more hopeful than she had for a long while. For the first time in ages, she slept peacefully until morning, untroubled by insomnia and nightmares.

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**** Sunlight streamed in through the French windows as Tara stood reflectively in the familiar hallway, unable to comprehend that her grandmother had finally passed on. It was strange. Every time she turned around, she had a sense that Eloise was still there, watching over her as she always had done. It was comforting in a way. Tara preferred to think that she was still around, making sure she didn’t screw her life too much. Now that she was gone, the house had passed to Tara as was her birthright. For more than a century their family had lived here. The crumbling walls still surrounded the remains of her great grandmother’s rose garden, although weeds had taken up residence many years ago. Eloise had been no gardener and the garden had fallen into disarray once her mother had died. Tara wandered aimlessly through the dusty rooms, unsure of where to begin the task of sorting out her things. Downstairs wasn’t so bad, but she knew there was a tonne of junk in the attic. Or at least there had been at one time - it had been years since she had ventured up into the space beneath the dusty eaves. But standing and thinking about it wasn’t going to get the job done, so Tara tied her unruly hair back and headed up there. Keeping busy was a distraction she needed. After all, it wasn’t like she had anything else in her life other than work. Ben was long gone; their house had been put on the market and apart from the occasional letter via solicitor, she had no idea where he was these days. Not that she cared anyway. She hoped he was happy. He deserved that much, she supposed, as she climbed the steep stairs. Once inside the musty attic space, Tara was surprised to find that much of the remembered junk had gone. There were still a few boxes remaining, but at least the all the broken pieces of furniture had been disposed of. She walked across the dusty boards and dropped down beside the boxes, examining them curiously. There was nothing on them to indicate what they contained, so she opened them with interest. The first one was full of photograph albums so she pulled them out and spread them across the floor. Sitting cross legged on a faded cushion, Tara began to leaf through the cellophane covered pages. There were photographs of her from being a baby, right through to her teenage years. Eloise had faithfully kept a record of every stage of Tara’s childhood, from infancy to graduation. It felt like her whole life had been captured within the leaves of a few leather bound albums.

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Her own mother was noticeably absent from most of the photo’s, although a faded snapshot of a slim woman with dark hair was slotted in amongst the first few pictures. Caught wearing a long tunic and with flowers in her hair, her mother looked slightly lost as she smiled faintly into the camera lens. Carefully, Tara removed it and turned it over to read the pencil scribbles on the back. Helena, Cornwall,1970 Tara had been two years old that summer. She stared intently at the woman who had given birth to her. That woman was like a stranger. Tara felt nothing when she looked at the face that was like her own. Eloise had talked about her over the years, but by and large, Tara felt no real sense of emotional connection to the mother she had never really known. Eloise had raised her and she was the one Tara thought of as a mother. Placing the album back down, Tara began to leaf through some of the others. Some of these contained photographs of Helena; tiny black and white shots of a pretty, waif like child, all dark eyes and long limbs. As she grew older, the photographs became less frequent. Only the occasional snap shot appeared, clearly taken under duress, for Helena seemed uncomfortable in the pictures as she posed for the camera. The real world retreated as Tara flicked through the pages, smiling at family portraits and pictures of much loved pets. There were even old sepia tinted portraits of her great grandmother, unsmiling and glaring at the camera as if she had felt certain the lens was going to steal her soul. The next few boxes were more of the same. Tara looked through them all, enjoying the memories and brief glimpse into the past. Eloise had led a full life; that much was evident. Tara was just about to stand and stretch her legs when she came across a small shoe box, tied with a faded red ribbon. Curiously, she opened the box. Inside were dozens of letters, each one with Eloise’s name scribbled across the thin paper in black ink. The tightly written words were difficult to decipher, but Tara peered closely in an effort to see from whom they were from. They were love letters. All Tara knew about her grandfather, Ned, was that he had died in the war before her mother had been born. Eloise had rarely talked about him and despite her sunny disposition Tara had always sensed a great sadness in her beloved grandmother. A small photograph slipped out from amongst the letters as she read the tightly written words and Tara held it up to the light. It showed a tall young man, resplendent in his

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uniform, smiling proudly as he faced the camera. On the back a few words were scribbled, along with a date: 1943 To my darling Ellie, I’ll always be with you, much love, Ned. Tara felt the tears begin to slide down her cheeks. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how Eloise had felt when she lost the love of her life. No wonder she had never remarried; she had spent the rest of her life yearning to be with him again. As her tears slowly ceased, Tara eventually smiled. Somehow she felt certain that they were together again. She believed that with all her heart. As she sat on the cushion, staring at the faded photograph, the wind chime that hung in the attic window began to swirl, sending soft musical notes tinkling through the large room. As she watched it, Tara felt a strange sense of peace and happiness pass through her. For ages she stayed in the attic, lost in her thoughts of the past. When the door bell far below began to ring insistently, Tara was jolted from her reverie with a start. Once again, the wind chimes began to move despite the lack of wind in the stuffy attic. It was a little odd, but Tara forgot about that as she dashed back downstairs to answer the door. The heavy oak door swung open and a sudden blast of warm sun hit Tara right in the eyes. For a moment she was dazzled and she squinted helplessly, unable to see who was standing there. “Hi there, my name’s David,” the tall, dark haired man told her with a friendly grin. Tara felt a bolt of electricity shoot through her as the sun vanished behind a white fluffy cloud and she finally focused on the stranger before her. “Hello, I’m Tara,” she replied, unsure of what this handsome man was doing here. “Is there something I can help you with?” “Your grandmother asked me to come along,” David explained. “I moved back here a couple of months ago. I’m a landscape gardener and we talked about renovating the rose garden, so I’m here to find out when she wants me to start work on it.” Tara blinked. Surely he had heard the news? “My grandmother passed away two weeks ago,” she said softly. Immediately David looked distraught. “Oh my god, I had no idea!” he exclaimed with horror. “I’m so sorry.” “That’s ok,” she replied.

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“Since your grandmother has already paid me to do the work, I’ll get it done as soon as possible since I assume you’ll be selling the house.” Tara stared at him in surprise. “She’s already paid you?” she repeated. “Yeah, months ago,” he said. “She heard I was coming back and asked me to visit when I was passing through.” She didn’t know what to think. Eloise had said nothing about this, but if the guy reckoned he had been paid, then it was silly not to have the work done. Besides, the garden was a mess and she had no inclination to sort it out. She was good at many things, but gardening wasn’t one of them. “Actually I’m not selling the house – I’ll be living here as soon as the sale on my own house is finalised.” Tara hoped that the paperwork would be signed in the next week; the sooner the better really. “So you’re happy for me to start anytime?” David looked at her quizzically and Tara once again felt a spark of something unexpected jolt her as his blue eyes bored right into her soul. “Erma, yeah, I guess so,” she said, suddenly aware of how messy she must look. Her dark hair was desperately trying to escape from the confines of its pony tail and her face was streaked with dirt. “Great,” David said cheerfully. “I’ll sort my diary out and ring you if let me have your number.” He pulled a mobile phone from his pocket and punched in the telephone number Tara gave him. “I’ll be in touch,” he promised with a warm smile, shoving the phone back in his jeans pocket. Tara found herself smiling back as he began to walk back down the path towards the lane. Then he turned and said something totally unexpected. “By the way,” he said, “According to your grandmother, I think we’re distant relatives.” “Huh?” Tara replied in surprise. “Your grandfather, Ned, was my grandfather’s cousin. My family grew up around here.” For a second Tara froze. She stared at the dark haired man with the laughing blue eyes and had a sudden inkling that Eloise had set her up deliberately. It was almost as if she

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had wanted Tara to meet David and she had known that if she suggested it, Tara would have refused out of sheer bloody mindedness. “Maybe we can have a drink sometime to discuss our mutual family history?” David added with a cheeky grin as Tara struggled to wrap her mind around everything that had just happened. “That would be nice,” she heard herself saying blithely. “I’ll definitely call you,” David promised again. He waved before driving away in a battered looking pickup truck. Tara watched with a warm tingly feeling in the pit of her stomach as he disappeared down the lane. As she turned back to the house, she glanced up at the attic window and for a second she could have sworn she saw a couple embracing. When she blinked, the image had gone, but she definitely heard the faint tinkling of wind chimes again as she walked back inside her home.

The End

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ABOUT RACHELLE LE MONNIER Rachelle Le-Monnier spent her formative years devouring a varied diet of romance and horror novels, whilst dreaming of true love ever after. Then she grew up and realized the happy endings were strictly fictional and hunky heroes were sadly lacking in her corner of the world. Not one to be daunted by cruel twists of fate and disastrous dates a plenty, she writes her own happy endings these days - in between juggling kids, work, fitness training and keeping her psychotic cat happy. When she isn’t running herself ragged, Rachelle enjoys foreign language films, dark chocolate and arguing with her teenage daughter. You can reach her at www.rachellemonnier.com

If you enjoyed REFLECTIONS OF THE PAST, you might also enjoy:

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TANGLED ROOTS By Giselle Renarde Simone is having a bad day. Not only has she broken up with Toy Boy Toby, she’s been fired from her high-powered job! Now, in hopes of raising capital to start a business of her own, Simone must sell the old family cottage. But the lakeside cabin rejuvenates her soul, and her wise neighbour Moses sparks a new flame. Only with the guidance of this tattooed man devoted to healing can Simone overcome humiliation. Passion comes easy, but is this power-hungry businesswoman ready for love of the compassionate variety? Warning: This title contains graphic language and sex.

Excerpt From TANGLED ROOTS:

“A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe.” ~Pierre Berton *** “I love you, Moses,” Simone said in disbelief. “I love you.”

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Kissing her forehead, Moses replied. “Maybe you do. And maybe you’re looking for something beautiful to counterbalance the pain. Either way, Simone, you are loved. You are worthy of love. I guarantee it.” The tears she cried turned from tortured to awed, like when she used to cry in church, never knowing why. Running her hands across the prickly hair of his head, Simone pulled Moses in to take comfort in the warmth of his mouth. His tongue tasted of black liquorice and of her. She kissed him hungrily, desperately, like she could consume his spiritual knowledge this way. Simone expected him to push her away, ask her to stop, she was too emotional. He didn’t. No, Moses kissed her back, wrapping her body in his tremendous arms, leaning her down until her hair touched the pine needles. Hungry for love in any form, in all its forms, Simone pulled off her clinging top. Firelight kissed Moses’ skin, making him look like an angel in hell, while it warmed her naked breasts. “I’m sure,” she said in anticipation of the question he was probably about to ask. Her eager nipples piqued in expectation, pointing up to the greener than green treetops. The bristle of his hair excited Simone’s skin as Moses journeyed down to her breasts. There he worshipped, taking the luscious orbs in his hands as he pressed his beautiful face into them. Softly, he kissed the malleable flesh on either side of her cleavage, leaving wet lip marks in his wake. Slowly, he ran his hot tongue along the cleave, from the base of her round breasts up. His soft mouth against her nipples sent a message, like an electrical current through her body. The feel of his wet tongue on the flesh of her breasts ignited her

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pussy, and that raindrop feeling came back to her abdomen. She was more than ready. She wanted this beautiful, sexy, tattooed man. So frickin’ badly. “Grab the boat safety kit?” Simone requested. Moses threw her an odd glance as he reached out for it. When he saw what she’d packed, he chuckled and clicked his teeth like she was a naughty puppy. “You planned this,” he accused, pulling a condom from the container. Still sniffling, Simone replied with a laugh. “I only planned to have sex with you, not tell you my life story. Anyway, I told you I was feeling Canadian today.” “Maybe we should wait ‘til we’re back in the canoe, then,” Moses suggested. Simone giggled deep in her throat, pulling his bathing suit down with her toes. “Get these off!”

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And look for these other titles from Rachelle Le Monnier:

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DARKNESS CALLING By Rachelle Le Monnier In the back of beyond, all is not as it seems. Alec only wanted a quiet life, but when he met Pandora, all hell broke loose. After he was caught in a terrible storm, Pandora saved Alec’s life, but his brief taste of something tantalizing that night left him craving far more. It isn’t long before they are both caught up in a whirl of passion and intrigue that threatens Pandora’s life and Alec’s sanity. Can their love survive the shadows from her past, or will her true nature destroy them both?

Warnings: This title contains graphic language and sex, and one non-consent scene.

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