Positive Psychology Coaching: Putting the Science of Happiness to Work for Your Clients

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Positive Psychology Coaching Putt ing the Sc ience of Ha p p i n e s s t o Wo r k f o r Yo u r C l i e n t s Robert Biswas-Diener and Ben Dean

John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

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Positive Psychology Coaching

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Positive Psychology Coaching Putt ing the Sc ience of Ha p p i n e s s t o Wo r k f o r Yo u r C l i e n t s Robert Biswas-Diener and Ben Dean

John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

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➇

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This book is printed on acid-free paper.

Copyright © 2007 by Robert Biswas-Diener and Ben Dean. All rights reserved. Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey. Published simultaneously in Canada. Wiley Bicentennial Logo: Richard J. Pacifico No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 646-8600, or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions. Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages. This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering professional services. If legal, accounting, medical, psychological or any other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought. Designations used by companies to distinguish their products are often claimed as trademarks. In all instances where John Wiley & Sons, Inc. is aware of a claim, the product names appear in initial capital or all capital letters. Readers, however, should contact the appropriate companies for more complete information regarding trademarks and registration. For general information on our other products and services please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at (800) 762-2974, outside the United States at (317) 572-3993 or fax (317) 572-4002. Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books. For more information about Wiley products, visit our web site at www.wiley.com. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data: Biswas-Diener, Robert. Positive psychology coaching : putting the science of happiness to work for your clients / Robert Biswas-Diener and Ben Dean. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references. ISBN-13: 978-0-470-04246-5 (cloth) 1. Personal coaching. 2. Positive psychology. I. Dean, Ben. II. Title. BF637.P36B56 2007 158'.9—dc22 2006038754 Printed in the United States of America. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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Contents

Introduction

vii

Acknowledgments Chapter 1

xiii

The Coaching Paradox and the Positive Psychology Solution

1

Foundation I Happiness and Positivity Chapter 2

Happiness: The Goal We Rarely Talk About

25

Chapter 3

Choosing Happiness: Goals, Relationships, and Positive Thinking

59

Solid Happiness Interventions

89

Chapter 4

Foundation II Character Strengths Chapter 5

Strengths Coaching

117

Chapter 6

Coaching to Personal Strengths

143

Chapter 7

Coaching to Social Strengths

165

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CONTENTS

Special Topics in Positive Psychology Coaching Chapter 8

Helping Clients Craft the Perfect Job

189

Chapter 9

The Future of Positive Psychology Coaching

209

Appendix: Planning Positive Psychology Coaching Sessions

221

Notes

231

Index

251

vi

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Introduction

A few years ago, as the world prepared for the change of the millennium, I was living in Calcutta and researching happiness among people living in the slums. I have long had a soft spot in my heart for people living in poverty and have often been inspired by the ways they sometimes rise to the challenges facing them. For anyone who has ever been to Calcutta or traveled through other poor parts of the world, you know the sight of abject poverty can be heartbreaking as well as guilt producing. My time in Calcutta had me thinking about what kind of impact I could make on the lives of the people with whom I was conducting my research. I paid my participants and donated money to neighborhood associations, local slum clinics, and doctors. In the end, though, I saw that I was taking information away from India—I was collecting data that would ultimately benefit a Western understanding of psychology—and not giving any education back. Through my interpreter, I began setting up a series of lectures, at local universities and even in slum schools, in which I could teach the citizens of Calcutta about the latest findings from social and personality psychology. The lectures were well attended, well received, and it felt great to work outside my basic job description and give a little something back. vii

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INTRODUCTION

One of the aspects of positive psychology I have long been attracted to is the sense that it is for the public good. As such, it is—relative to other systems of change—being given away free. As yet, you will not find much in the way of proprietary assessments or expensive, formulaic trainings. No positive psychology researcher worth his or her salt is charging big money for “five ways to discover happiness” or “three things that are interfering with your fulfillment” or “My private tool for measuring positivity.” At its heart, positive psychology is a science and, as such, is part of the public domain. The latest research findings are published in professional journals, many of which can be accessed online. Top scientists have web sites that, rather than trying to keep a lid on their proprietary findings, clearly spell out the details of research for anyone who is curious enough to look. University of Pennsylvania psychologist Martin Seligman, the founder of positive psychology, once said that this dynamic new field was, in part, about “increasing the total tonnage of happiness in the world.” That’s a hefty mission, and one very much in line with the philosophy that underlies all coaching. Of course, just as coaches charge for services positive psychologists charge speaking fees, workshop tuition, and write for-profit books. But in each of these cases, the men and women behind the science are being paid for their expertise, rather than some secret happiness system they have devised, trademarked, and sold to the public. Within the confines of positive psychology, you will see exemplars of generosity such as the Values in Action Institute, funded by the Mayerson Foundation, which provides a free, online assessment of strengths that could be generating millions of dollars in income. Or, the Center for Applied Positive Psychology, in England, a nonprofit center running educational programs in positive psychology. Or, the Hero Within Charter School, a fledgling positive psychology school serving low income kids in inner city Philadelphia. The list goes on. Not only do people recognize the value of positive psychology, they recognize the value of giving it away. viii

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Introduction

Which brings me to my co-author, Ben Dean. I first met Ben at a conference on positive psychology, where he was eagerly learning the latest findings from the field. He is a psychologist who is passionate about positive psychology and coaching, has been involved with the field from its early days, and firmly believes in disseminating it as widely as he can. In fact, publishing articles in professional journals and giving talks at conferences are just not enough for Ben, he wants to make sure that the theories, assessments, and applications of positive psychology make their way into mainstream life. For example, Ben partnered with Martin Seligman to deliver the Authentic Happiness Coaching Program™ that—between 2003 and 2005—trained professionals from 19 nations to apply Seligman’s work on positive psychology to their work and lives. He runs MentorCoach®, the first coach training school in the world to specifically focus on positive psychology and coaching. As if that were not enough, Ben also writes a free electronic newsletter on positive psychology with 131 thousand readers worldwide and presents on coaching and positive psychology throughout North America. Ben impressed me with his value-laden attitude toward bringing positive psychology to the world. In fact, his orientation toward service is so sincere that I once saw him arrange for pro bono positive psychology coaching services for a flight attendant who was suffering through a financial crisis. This book is the natural product of two people who would like nothing more than to get the story of positive psychology out of the ivory towers and into the mainstream . . . as well as into other professions, such as coaching, for which it is particularly well suited. We will not get rich from this book, nor do we care to. We are interested in showing readers and coaches of all stripes that there is an exciting new science available to inform their assessments and interventions. We are thrilled about the fact that much of what coaches do has now been shown to pass scientific muster, and we are excited about what this means for the future development of the profession. We think positive psychology is just too good to hide from the public, and we hope that you agree. ix

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INTRODUCTION

What is positive psychology anyway? In short, it is a new branch of psychology that focuses on what is going right, rather than what is going wrong with people. If traditional psychology has emphasized the understanding and treatment of depression, schizophrenia, and anxiety, then positive psychology takes aim at happiness, optimism, and character strengths. Positive psychologists are researchers who investigate the dynamics of healthy relationships, the factors that lead to highly functioning work groups, and what leads to lasting personal fulfillment. Positive psychology asks important questions about the human condition and provides compelling answers. In the years since it was founded, this new branch of science has grown to include a cutting-edge professional journal, a string of fascinating books, a new master’s degree program at the University of Pennsylvania, and some highly effective workplace consultancy programs. In this book, we give you a nutshell education about positive psychology. Much of this book focuses on happiness. To some extent, everybody wants to be happy, although few of us agree on what this means or how best to achieve it. Fortunately, modern science has some fresh new insights into the age-old question of the secret to happiness. Among the most important and novel insights provided by research in positive psychology is the fact that happiness is much more than a destination. Study after study shows that happiness is actually beneficial. Feeling positive is like having money in the bank that can be spent in the pursuit of other goals. The fact that happiness is associated with better health, more creativity, higher income, and better workplace evaluations ought to catch the attention of any coach or consultant. We spend time covering modern happiness research including how it is defined, how it is measured, how much is enough, and which routes to happiness are worthwhile and which are deadends. In each case, we tie together the research findings with helpful suggestions for how the information can be used to help your coaching practice and help your clients succeed.

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We also spend a great deal of time discussing personal strengths. The idea of tapping client strengths will not be new to you, but positive psychology offers some wonderful new ways to do so. Chris Peterson and Martin Seligman worked with a team of brilliant colleagues to develop a classification of character strengths that exist in cultures all around the world. The team developed the innovative online assessment of strengths (and it’s free of charge!). These thought leaders commonly espouse the idea that there is as much mileage to be gained from harnessing strengths as there is from shoring up weaknesses. This radical notion is more than simple opinion; positive psychologists provide the empirical research and firm data to back up just these types of claims. From executive coaching to life coaching, from psychotherapy to consultancy, the new science of positive psychology offers a little something for everyone. It is a solid science with empirically supported assessments, validated interventions, and exciting new theories that can revolutionize your practice. Best of all, positive psychology is a discipline that is compatible with what you are already doing and need not be swallowed whole or exchanged for what you already know works. Instead, it can be an adjunct to your current practice, and one that will be attractive and helpful to your clients. Positive psychology is yours every bit as much as it is ours, and we hope you enjoy it!

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Acknowledgments

I owe an enormous debt of gratitude to my father Ed Diener, and Martin Seligman, as well as to George Vaillant, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, and the many other courageous researchers who have pioneered the field of positive psychology. Without you, the world would be a little less happy. This book never would have progressed beyond an idea at a cocktail party if not for the support and encouragement of our editor, David Bernstein. Thanks for your patience, kindness, and insight. I would like to thank my co-author, Ben Dean. Ben, I have learned much about coaching from you and have enjoyed watching you give positive psychology away. I would also like to thank the many people who helped in the preparation of this manuscript by submitting to an interview, giving wise counsel, or commenting on the ideas contained herein. This group includes Betsy Bass, Susan David, Sandra Foster, Michael Frisch, Carol Kaufmann, Michelle Marks, James Pawelski, Carol Ryff, Nicole Stettler, and Lauren Vannett. Thanks to you all. I also owe an extra special thanks to Alex Linley for the last-minute advice. Finally, I would like to thank my wife, Keya, and my children for supporting me through the writing process. The three of you put up with far more than I deserve. I love you. R. B-D. xiii

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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I’m especially grateful to Martin Seligman, whose phone call in 2002 ultimately led me into the field of positive psychology. Our two-year collaboration in delivering the Authentic Happiness Coaching Program™ has been one of the high points of my career. My thanks to Chris Peterson, for his leadership in spearheading the Values in Action (VIA) project and whose research and teaching in positive psychology have been so important for me and many others. I owe a great debt of gratitude to Robert Biswas-Diener. What began as a joint project has clearly become his book. I first met Robert in 2005 while reading about, of all things, Joan Didion’s reaction to his work in The Year of Magical Thinking. I’ve come to value his keen intelligence, his research and field work in subjective well-being, his extraordinary ability to integrate and write about science in multiple domains, and his friendship. I would like to thank David Bernstein, an exceptional editor and central figure in bringing coaching to the helping professions. I would like to thank the wise thought leaders I interviewed including: Bonni Akalis, Vikki Brock, Jocelyn Davis, Catherine Fitzgerald, Dan Gilbert, Jon Haidt, Richard Kilburg, Amanda Levy, Christine Martin, Ellen Ostrow, Chris Peterson, Peter Redding, Pam Richarde, Geno Schnell, Tracy Steen, Bruce Taylor, Patricia Wheeler, and Nancy Whichard, I especially want to thank Anne Durand, an incomparable executive coach and friend, who has been instrumental in leading MentorCoach®. I owe a great debt of gratitude to all the brilliant, gifted souls in MentorCoach®, in the MentorCoach Alliance for Positive Psychology, the MCP Trainer Team, the (131,000 strong) Coaching Toward Happiness and eMentorCoach communities, and the graduates of the Authentic Happiness Coaching Program™ who share my passion for the field and continually teach me. And, finally, I’m deeply grateful to Janice, my wife, and our children, David and Sara, for being with me every step of the way. B. D. xiv

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CHAPTER ONE

The Coaching Paradox and the Positive Psychology Solution

Coaching, as a profession, is at an exciting turning point. The work of the brave and talented people who pioneered the field has finally paid off: Coaching is widely accepted as an important tool in the business world, coach training programs are improving their curricula in an effort to meet more rigorous standards for credentialing, and private practices are flourishing. Even universities are beginning to take notice of our profession, and graduate degree and certificate programs in coaching are popping up on several continents. The tiresome days of explaining the difference between athletic coaching and working as a personal change agent are rapidly drawing to a close. We, as coaches, are no longer struggling to find basic acceptance as a legitimate profession. In so many ways, we have arrived, and it feels good. It feels good to open major newspapers and see articles on the benefits of coaching and profiles of leading coaches. We experience vicarious pride 1

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COACHING PARADOX AND POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY SOLUTION

when we see the success of our peers who design and implement coaching workshops for organizations, or witness the financial success of a colleague. It can be tremendously rewarding to speak with enthusiastic new students in coach training programs, a sign that our profession is growing. At last, we can bask in the same optimism that we attempt to instill in our clients. Yes, we have finally arrived. But, now that we are here, what are we going to do? As a group of individuals and as a profession, we are just too energetic, too dynamic, and too motivated to sit idly for long. You probably recognize that achieving one goal, while cause for celebration, also clears the way to begin working toward the next. Change is inevitable, and what could be more interesting than considering the ways in which coaching might change over the next decade? In which directions coaching might move, and how our interventions and services might evolve in the near future. The possibilities are fascinating to consider. Advances in technology, for instance, will undoubtedly affect the professional tides. Similarly, widespread public understanding and acceptance of the coaching endeavor and its many benefits will impact our chosen vocation in exciting new ways, as will breakthroughs in psychological research. The field of psychology, our professional cousin, is a wonderful resource for sophisticated assessments, clever interventions, and research validation that can—and will—advance our work by leading to better service and “proof” that coaching works. This book describes one such breakthrough—the new field of positive psychology—and explains the many ways in which positive psychology can inform coaching practices of all kinds. Positive psychology is the first of many stimulating answers to the question: “Where do we, as a profession, go from here?” Coaching has long been a powerful force for transformation in people’s lives. Whether conducted with executives, schoolteachers, graduate students, work-from-home Internet entrepreneurs, or small business owners, coaching is about harnessing the best in people and inspiring them to live out their potential. Coaching is a 2

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Coaching Paradox and Positive Psychology Solution

wake-up call, challenging folks to tap their inner abundance. Because of this natural leaning toward positivity, growth and optimism coaching has attracted practitioners who value service work and clients who are achievement oriented. If you consider the ways in which you and your clients are similar, it is likely that placing a premium on self-growth is one area of common ground. Those of us who have worked with or worked as coaches recognize the frequent times in sessions when a self-imposed limit is lifted, when an “aha” moment is reached, or when we catch an emotional second wind. These are the gems of coaching and, when coaching is done well, they tend to be common. It is this proof of positive change in action that makes coaching a worthwhile endeavor for both the practitioner and the client. But beneath this veneer of positivity and effectiveness, there is an irony in the profession that we think of as the coaching paradox: For a profession that systematically helps people aspire to and reach their innate potential, coaching has not yet reached its own potential. In fact, although coaching—in its modern form—is a couple of decades old, it is still in its relative professional infancy. Indeed, the hallmarks of youth are readily apparent. Coaching lacks a coherent, widely agreed on definition, coach training varies in content (although less now than in recent years), and coaching interventions differ greatly. Some coaches work with inspirational stories and games, others rely heavily on assessments, and still others focus on goals and behaviors. In short, coaching is still a broadly defined endeavor in need of refining. The profession of coaching is fortunate to have so many skilled and imaginative people working toward this end. But our chosen line of work needs more than isolated breakthroughs and good ideas that are implemented in only a handful of private practices. Coaching is just too good to be undermined by a sense that we are “winging it.” Our professional service—whether it takes the form of executive, entrepreneurial, or life coaching—will improve when we develop an agreed on definition for coaching and systematic sharing of the high quality interventions in our craft. 3

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To be sure, progress has been made in these areas. The International Coach Federation (ICF), the largest governing body of the profession, has made gains in establishing both a code of ethics for practice and standards for the training of new coaches. Steve Mitten, former president of the ICF, made the professionalization of coaching a major part of his presidential platform. Mitten was invested in establishing coaching as a bona fide profession, with clear standards for training and practice.1 Similarly, in England, members of the British Psychological Society have formed a special working group to advance a program of coaching psychology.2 Despite this forward progress, even seasoned coaches agree that the profession is in its formative stages. Carol Kaufman, for instance, a coach and psychologist at Harvard’s medical school, distinguishes between “first and second generation coaching.”3 The first generation of coaches, according to Kaufman, was made up of the visionary and courageous individuals who helped to establish their services as a viable enterprise. Now, says Kaufman, we are on the brink of the second generation of coaching, in which the discipline needs to grow through the development of explicitly defined theories of human development and research on coaching effectiveness. Just as medicine has advanced through the discovery of viruses and the use of antibiotics, coaching is ready for sophisticated theories and exciting new interventions. One of the recent pushes toward the development of a more mature coaching profession has been increased attention to the many benefits of science. In 2003, Anthony Grant, a coach who teaches at the world’s first university-based coaching psychology program in Sydney, Australia, issued a call to ICF members to turn to science as a method and body of knowledge to help guide practice.4 The ICF responded by sponsoring annual research symposia, in which the scientific method was used to investigate issues ranging from the effectiveness of working with cultural minorities to understanding client perceptions of coaching.5 In later years prominent coaches such as Diane Stober6 and W. Barnett Pearce7 have echoed the original call to embrace research as a 4

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powerful tool to improve the practice and effectiveness of coaching. In 2006, ICF president Pamela Richarde spoke with the heads of Accredited Coach Training Organizations (ACTO), reaffirming the organization’s commitment to supporting a research program on coaching.8 Similarly, psychologists and coaches in London, Sydney, Philadelphia, and New York have looked at the role of science in coaching by forming special coaching psychology task forces, hosting academic conferences, launching peer reviewed journals, and developing universitybased curricula. Simultaneously, professional books on evidencebased coaching or those adapting well-researched psychological theories and techniques have begun appearing. If these trends are any indication of the direction in which coaching is moving, it is reasonable to assume that at least one arm of the profession, in the future, will be scientifically grounded coaching, in which many practitioners will have graduate degrees from accredited universities, and in which many clients will want to see empirical validation of coaching services. We do not mean to imply that this is the only direction in which the coaching profession will evolve, but this is one likely route. Regardless of the background of individual coaches, now or in the future, it is certain that those on the cutting edge of science will have additional tools in their professional toolboxes. In this book, we propose that the dynamic new field of positive psychology—described in detail next—is a branch of science that shows tremendous potential as a natural interface with the profession of coaching. Because it is grounded in sophisticated scientific methodology, positive psychology offers an answer to the call for an increased role of research in coaching. What’s more, as an applied science, positive psychology offers theories, interventions, and assessments that form a valuable addition to current coaching tools. Among the most elegant aspects of a marriage of coaching and this new science is the fact that positive psychology is not dogmatic, proprietary, or incompatible with existing approaches to coaching. Positive psychology is a body of theory, research, and 5

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practical tools that can be added to any coaching practice, regardless of theoretical orientation, or whether you conduct life coaching or work with executives. Further, we argue here that such an addition is good for individual coaches as well as for the profession as a whole. Although we are attracted to the creativity that permeates the profession of coaching, we argue that the movement toward empirically-based interventions and solid theoretical frameworks for practice is in the best interest of both individual practicing coaches and the coaching profession. Coaches Dianne Stober and Anthony Grant argue that such a trend will boost the credibility of the profession and provide the foundation for higher quality coach training.9 We live in an age where science is the pre-eminent system of inquiry. The claims of science are testable, and the results of careful studies are both replicable and generalizable. Because the scientific method is so widely accepted, coaching practices that are grounded in science will be easier to “sell” to a skeptical public or potential clients, and especially to organizations that want reassurances that the service will be effective. Susan David, founding member of Evidence Based Psychology, a consultancy firm with corporate clients in the United States, Australia, and Asia, encourages coaches to set their services on a foundation of solid empiricism. “Companies and executives have gotten savvier when talking about psychological topics,” she told us in a recent interview. “It makes sense to them that mood can affect worker performance. The people I deal with at pharmaceutical companies and accounting firms ask intelligent questions about the research behind my services, and I have to be ready with answers.” Our prediction is that coaches who can honestly claim to work from a foundation of the latest scientific research and theory will have a tremendous market advantage over their peers. Not only will prospective employers look favorably on them, they will enjoy the comfort of knowing that their interventions are tested, effective, and—where possible—appropriate to their unique client base. The addition of a scientific basis to 6

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coaching is one of the greatest potential growth areas for secondgeneration coaches. The importance of science to our field was recently noted in a dramatic way by Jim Clifton, the CEO of the Gallup Corporation, the company famous for its polling services. In late 2005, Clifton addressed a large group of psychologists and coaches at a meeting at the Gallup office in Washington, DC. Clifton has a sharp mind and a flair for strong, provocative words. “Gallup uses positive psychology,” he began, “because positive psychology works. If the data showed that yelling at my employees was more effective, then I would do that instead.”10 Regardless of how literally Clifton intended this statement to be taken, his point was clear: Businesses and other clients want to invest in workshops, trainings, and services that work. They want proof that the methods and assessments they buy are actually valuable, and not simply the flavor of the month. In this way, coaches can make science, and psychological science in particular, work for us as we develop our profession. What might a scientifically driven coaching practice look like? Anthony Grant and others originally trained in clinical psychology have pointed to the “scholar-practitioner” model in which most psychologists are trained.11 In this educational model, students are taught to design research studies, analyze statistics, and evaluate the relative merits of other people’s research in addition to developing clinical acumen. The underlying rationale for this model is that graduates will enter the workplace as informed consumers of the research that guides their own clinical practices. Unfortunately, as sensible as this strategy is for psychologists, it is not easily applicable to coaching. Many coaches do not have a background in research methods or statistics, nor a background in psychology, and an emphasis on these skills is unlikely to have newcomers flocking to our profession. Although it is likely that in the future many coaches will hold master’s degrees in coaching psychology from major universities, it seems doubtful that in the short term all coaches—or even the majority of coaches—will 7

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have a background in psychology. Therefore, evidence-based coaching ought to rest on the aspects of science that are accessible to coaches of diverse educational backgrounds. We have identified three areas in which coaches of any educational or professional background can easily employ science: 1. Survey readings of relevant background material could greatly benefit coaches. We have great faith in the intelligence of coaches and believe that they can easily understand versions of major studies. This allows for the fact that not everyone attracted to the profession thinks in the rigorous, questioning way common to researchers. For those with a primary interest in the direct contact with clients and an emphasis on the service aspect of the work, a general familiarity with relevant background research is probably adequate. But basic knowledge of the scientific literature may also be necessary. In our experience, the most innovative coaches are those individuals who challenge themselves by reading and learning about the change process. Whether it is essays by Abraham Maslow, leadership books by Robert Quinn, or professional journal articles, keeping up with major theories and new interventions gives coaches a competitive edge. We encourage coaches of all stripes and persuasions to become acquainted with the relevant psychological research literature, if even in a cursory way. We encourage you to extend this learning well beyond the covers of this book and into other informative domains such as trusted web sites and professional journals. 2. The second natural intersection of science and coaching is to be found in well-validated measurement tools. Empirically validated and widely used assessments can be enormously useful to coaches. Many coaches are already familiar with tools like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and Firo-B, and know that these instruments can help the work of coaching in important ways. But, formal measures of personality,

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ability, preferences, and other related assessments have historically been the domain of psychologists—created by psychologists, administered by them, and interpreted by them. In addition to the information they provide, formal assessments can be interventions when they are used to identify strengths or areas needing attention, and they can also guide practice by measuring outcomes of interest. Although it is true that many coaches currently use some stock-in-trade assessments, such as the MBTI, many coaches are unaware of other useful measures available to them, including many that are easy-totake, easy-to-interpret, and free of charge. 3. Research is fundamentally important to coaching because it can provide a basis for evaluating interventions. Studying the nuts and bolts of our actual work can tell us much about why certain interventions work, when they work, and with whom they are most effective. Take, for instance, the research conducted by Suzy Green on the effectiveness of Solution-Focused Life Coaching, in which she and her colleagues found that coaching produced appreciable gains in hope, happiness, and goal striving for the clients in their study.12 Without this kind of careful, systematic evaluation of our interventions, coaching is reduced to a series of well-meaning hunches and guesswork. Knowledge of the empirical underpinnings of interventions actually allows coaches to break out of a onesize-fits-all mindset. Results from studies can tell us how gender, culture, or educational background might play an important moderating role in the coaching process. Familiarity with such research makes coaches both responsible and increasingly competitive. Science can help us understand the nuances of interventions, an awareness that might separate good coaches from great coaches. Science is much more than artificial laboratory studies and boring, structured results. The scientific process includes the

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development, testing, and revision of important theories. Now, at a time when the coaching profession is growing—both intellectually and in terms of number of practitioners—theoretical foundations for practice are more necessary than at any point in the profession’s history. Theoretical orientations are worldviews that guide practice. For example, the “medical model,” an orientation subscribed to by most modern doctors, holds that a physician’s job is to diagnose illness, discover the cause of the symptoms, and develop and implement treatments. While there is no question that modern medicine under this model has produced amazing gains in the treatment of illness it is also unclear whether this is the best, or only, way to look at the mission of doctors. For example, Albert Schweitzer, the Nobel Prizewinning medical missionary, often spoke of his desire to collaborate with patients in an effort to “awaken the healer within.” We suggest that the underlying view of our work is as important as the practical strategies of coaching itself, and encourage coaches to continually evolve their own theories of change and human nature. Unfortunately, although coaches share, at the broadest level, a common vision of coaching as including a focus on helping clients achieve their goals, there is much that remains uncertain about our task as facilitators of change. What is the best way to help clients achieve their goals? Is it more important to help remove obstacles, or should we focus on developing strengths, or some combination of both? Similarly, should we help clients to achieve goals that are highly inconsistent with our own values, or those that common wisdom tells us are not likely to produce lasting well-being? For that matter, are client-driven goals the only yardstick for the measure of coaching success? An explicitly defined theoretical orientation can be a map that guides us through this uncertain territory. Positive psychology is just such a map. In this book, we suggest that the interface of positive psychology with coaching is a natural step toward answering the call to address the coaching paradox and develop the profession in new and dynamic ways. Positive 10

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psychology was originally introduced by Maslow who, in addition to his famous “hierarchy of needs,” also wrote extensively on peak experiences, existential growth, and the importance of building on personal resources for success in life.13 Unfortunately, much of Maslow’s brilliant writing was largely overlooked by both the general public and practicing psychologists. In recent years, however, legendary psychologist and former president of the American Psychological Association (APA) Martin Seligman succeeded in touting the importance of the development of a strength-based positive psychology. When he assumed the reins of leadership of American psychology’s professional body, Seligman made the bold claim that psychology, in its present form, was really only half a discipline.14 According to Seligman, the lion’s share of research and treatment in the field had focused on pathology and on answering the question: “What is wrong with people?” While this emphasis undoubtedly led to important breakthroughs in the understanding and treatment of depression, it did little to provide insight into the everyday experience of the majority of people. What does psychology have to offer the masses, asked Seligman, those countless individuals who successfully raise families, work at good jobs, and do not suffer from clinical disorders? The professional literature has been conspicuously silent on the matter of personal strengths, happiness, and engagement at work and in relationships. Seligman popularized the positive psychology movement as a means of rewarding the few researchers who were already working in these areas, cobbling together a cohesive understanding of human flourishing, and attracting new scholars to the discipline.15 Positive psychology is psychology’s answer to the other crucial question: “What is going right with people?” We propose that positive psychology is a natural fit with coaching because both rest on the assumption that people are basically healthy, resourceful, and motivated to grow. What’s more, because positive psychology is a theoretical orientation built on a foundation of science, it contains the many virtues of scientific studies with broad samples and the ability to replicate findings. 11

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This means that research on positive psychology, unlike inspirational anecdotes, can provide insight into how to provide effective services for the widest range of people by looking at individual differences, the timing of interventions, and including surprising, counterintuitive results. Results from research in positive psychology, for instance, suggest that focusing on strengths and developing the positive in people are actually more effective than addressing weakness and problems. Further, there are surprising findings that suggest that goals, that Holy Grail of coaching, may differ in how much they contribute to our clients’ well-being. Positive psychology provides a systematic way to implement a positive worldview, and offers unique insights that lie outside the bounds of traditional wisdom and intuition. In short, Gallup CEO Jim Clifton is right when he says positive psychology works. Exciting new research from a wide variety of domains shows that strengths, optimism, and happiness are psychological capital with tangible benefits. To skeptical readers, the idea of selling happiness to large companies might seem preposterous. While the word happiness might be off-putting in an organizational setting, the scientific findings from positive psychology are greatly reassuring. For instance, a recent review of the benefits of pleasant emotions such as happiness conducted by University of California-Riverside psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky and her colleagues shows that happy people make more money, take fewer sick days from work, get along with their colleagues better, spend more time volunteering, are more likely to help strangers, receive better supervisor evaluations on the job, are rated more highly by customers, and exhibit less work turnover than less happy individuals.16 These are bottom-line facts that tend to be welcomed by managers and executives. On the flip side, the organizational culture that effective positive psychology interventions tend to produce is often welcomed by employees who are overjoyed by bona fide efforts to improve their welfare while on the job. Not only is a positive approach a win-win in the workplace, it is good news for positive psychology coaches. 12

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Even better news is the fact that you do not need to be a trained research scholar to understand and use the literature on positive psychology. Unlike mathematical theories of light refraction or the cellular development of mycosis fungoids, psychology is a commonsense science that is easily accessible to all. What’s more, by the time studies are printed in refereed journals, they have already passed muster with ethics review boards as well as expert peer reviewers. On this issue, we take the same view of our readers that we do of our clients: We assume you are smart, resourceful, and certainly capable of understanding the content of this book. Thus, in the pages that follow, we have included a broad survey of the most important topics in positive psychology and tied them together with specific applications to coaching. In Part I of Positive Psychology Coaching, we present a core foundation of positive psychology coaching: the definition, cultivation, maintenance, and benefits of happiness. In Part II of Positive Psychology Coaching, we cover an additional pillar of positive psychology, the development and use of character strengths and virtues. Finally, in Part III, we apply positive psychology coaching to the workplace, as well as discuss ways to use positive psychology to build your practice.

FOUNDATION I: HAPPINESS AND POSITIVITY The first foundation of Positive Psychology Coaching is happiness. Lasting personal fulfillment is a concern that touches us all. Happiness is the pot of gold at the end of the emotional rainbow, and it permeates Western culture from its inclusion in the American Declaration of Independence to the happy endings of Hollywood films. Experienced coaches realize that clients rarely, if ever, seek out our services with the explicit goal of increasing happiness. Nobody takes advantage of a free coaching session to increase happiness 1 or 2 points on a 10-point scale. Perhaps this is because happiness is implicitly understood to be the single ultimate goal underscoring all other goals that grace the minutes of our 13

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coaching sessions. Perhaps it is because happiness is commonly seen as trivial, lighthearted emotional happenstance, which ought to take a back seat to weightier matters of work and family. Despite the fact that clients aren’t knocking down our doors or ringing our phones off their hooks in the pursuit of happiness, research shows this emotion is far more than a goal . . . it is of vital importance to healthy functioning. In fact, happiness is probably one of the greatest personal resources your client is currently overlooking. Research on happiness shows there is much more to emotion than meets the eye. For instance, most people think of happiness as a desirable outcome, something to be achieved through the enjoyment of creature comforts, a bit of good luck, or through a job well done. Happiness, in this view, is the emotional paycheck for effort and achievement. As commonsense as this notion is, research on the topic paints a very different picture. For instance, studies show that happiness is actually beneficial in and of itself, and acts as important psychological capital, which can be spent while working toward other goals. For example, happier people tend to be more helpful, creative, prosocial, charitable, altruistic, and healthier. Happier people also live longer, are more likely to marry, tend to stay married longer, tend to have more close friends and casual friends, and actually earn more money. As if this weren’t enough, happier people also win out in the workplace, with better organizational citizenship, performance evaluations, and increased productivity.17 Thus, happiness can be looked at as a means to a valued end rather than a goal in itself. The take-home message is that by encouraging optimal levels of happiness in your clients, you can actually open the door to a whole new set of emotional resources for them to tap en route to their dreams. But how can clients be encouraged to be happier? Is there a magic formula, a new pill, or a secret mantra that can bestow fulfillment? Such ideas seem laughable. In the absence of a miracle emotional cure, it makes sense to continue questioning: 14

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• How is happiness achieved by any of us? • Is happiness a matter of changing material life circumstances like making more money or moving to a nicer house in a more desirable neighborhood? • Is happiness a matter of psychological gymnastics such as seeing the glass half-full or overlooking failures and setbacks? One of the most promising ways to facilitate emotional flourishing in your clients is to work with them to set realistic expectations about happiness. Happiness, as it turns out, is not a bottomless pit or overflowing cup. There is, in fact, an optimal level of happiness that is mildly pleasant rather than ecstatic and euphoric. The world’s leading expert on the science of subjective well-being, Ed Diener, suggests that one of the most powerful interventions for increasing happiness is to educate folks not to expect fulfillment to be extremely intense or permanent.18 Clients who can accept the realities of day-to-day pleasantness and satisfaction, rather than chasing the elusive emotional highs that accompany rare life events such as promotions and weddings, set themselves up for emotional success. Clients who view mild satisfaction as a success, rather than seeing it as the failure of not having achieved complete satisfaction, are typically more motivated, optimistic, and positive about future outcomes. This one small area of success sets them up for future successes in other areas of their lives. In addition to the interesting findings on optimal happiness, there is a line of research that suggests that helping clients focus on existential challenges such as mastery, connectedness, and selfacceptance, can be an important and fruitful route to happiness. In fact, happiness research contributes to our innate understanding of this prized emotion by providing several useful definitions— such as existential challenge—based on careful examination of religious, philosophical, and psychological texts. In this way, wellbeing researchers add insights that extend well beyond common sense or armchair theories. The results of their studies point to 15

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useful strategies for achieving and maintaining happiness that include attention to physical circumstances, personal attitudes, subjective evaluations, and social capital. Research on happiness shows that two variables are of key importance to achieving and maintaining subjective well-being: goals19 and social relationships.20 Goal setting has long been the anchor point of action-oriented coaching. Results from research on goals have shown time and again that personal strivings promote happiness by structuring people’s time, giving them a sense of meaning and purpose, and supplying a useful target for measuring growth and progress.21 However, the research also shows that not all goals are created equally. So-called “good goals” share a common architecture, including being attainable, concrete, measurable, and values congruent.22 Many coaches are familiar with the clever goal-related acronym SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timelined). While SMART is a useful shorthand for developing goals, this simple method does not explicitly address some important aspects of good goals. Research shows, for example, that there are certain goals, such as those related to promoting friendships, which contribute to happiness while others, such as trying to persuade others, are actually toxic to well-being.23 Familiarizing yourself with this research can help you better facilitate positive change in your clients by understanding the types of goals that are likely emotional deadends, and those that hold the greatest potential for emotional payoff. The framing of goals also turns out to be of crucial importance to whether they promote lasting satisfaction. Whether your client seeks out a desirable outcome, or whether he seeks to avoid a possible catastrophe, can heavily impact whether his goal will add to, or take away from, his psychological well-being. Typically, when goals are structured to avoid possible negative consequences (I don’t want to get fat, I don’t want to embarrass myself in the morning meeting, I don’t want to get cancer) they lead to more dissatisfaction than when they are framed so as to target positive outcomes (I want to run a half marathon, I want to give a well-received talk). 16

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Knowledge of the research on how goals lead to lasting fulfillment, and vice versa, can help you work with clients to establish healthy short-term and long-term action plans. Apart from the genetic underpinnings of emotion, relationships are, perhaps, the single most important influence on happiness. In fact, friendships are more than a chance to pal around, and romantic relationships are more than simple sexual attraction. Social relationships of all kinds offer a sense of security, opportunities for growth, and even promote physical health. Trusting relationships can be viewed as social capital that can improve performance at work and set the stage for a tranquil home life. Whether on the job or at home, good relationships with others are important because they lead to effective work and living. Despite this fact, the benefits of relationships suffer from a diminishing marginal utility, a point at which additional friendships offer little additional happiness. Understanding the mechanisms by which relationships lead to happiness, and being aware of the limitations of relationships, can serve as an important piece of wisdom that can easily be applied to the coaching endeavor.

FOUNDATION II: CHARACTER STRENGTHS The second foundation of Positive Psychology Coaching is character strength. The great tales of human history, from the Greek myths to the story of Martin Luther King Jr., are essentially narratives of virtue; people working from a position of terrific strength. The idea of paying attention to people’s strengths is not a revolutionary concept to most experienced coaches. Many skilled coaches have long looked at client resources as fertile ground in which to plant the seeds of growth and change. And with good reason: Talking about strengths rather than weaknesses is attractive to most clients, and taking ownership of personal strengths is a great way to boost confidence and optimism. Now, for the first time, the science of positive psychology has contributed exciting new insights on character strengths, not least of which is the fact that 17

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focusing on strengths is often far more productive than attempting to shore up deficits. Positive psychology provides empirical substantiation for coaches who work with strengths, as well as a helpful road map for those who do not. Although your instinct might tell you that a strengths-based coaching practice is an effective way to work with people, you may not have the luxury of time to parcel out all the fine points of the matter. You might wonder which character traits are strengths, when they are best used, or how might they effectively be measured. Positive psychology provides fresh new answers to these age-old questions. Researchers, including one of us (RBD), have begun looking at those character attributes that are widely valued, both throughout history and around the world. Studies show, for instance, that bravery, curiosity, and leadership are all traits that are held in high esteem whether one is living in the African bush, in the remote Arctic, or in Omaha.24 Further, research shows that people are at their best when they have opportunities to use these strengths.25 Unfortunately, not all clients are aware of which strengths they possess or how best to use them. Sophisticated new measurements have emerged that help clients focus on their strengths, and identify those qualities that make them exceptional people. University of Michigan psychologist Chris Peterson has worked with Martin Seligman to create a formal classification of human strengths and virtues.26 Their exciting new measure is available online, free of charge, and easy to understand. Perhaps most importantly, their taxonomy of strengths provides an ideal opportunity for you to open a discussion of strengths with your clients. Helping clients identify their signature strengths is only half the win. We also encourage you to work with your clients to learn to use their strengths optimally. Having a tendency to be brave or curious, for instance, may not be enough to guarantee success. Instead, it might be helpful to take stock of these strengths and ask when they might best be employed, and when they might not be helpful at all. Research and common sense tell us that there is a 18

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time to harness courage and a time to keep it in check and act prudently.27 The ability to discern between the two is, as the serenity prayer suggests, a matter of developing wisdom. Understanding, for example, when optimism motivates your clients, and when it might be time for them to put a goal on the back burner can actually help you coach more effectively and overcome client ambivalence. In Chapters 6 and 7, we focus on specific intra- and interpersonal strengths, and discuss how you might use the research on these topics to forward the action with your client. We are so excited by these recent developments that we encourage coaches to use strength-based positive psychology to facilitate their own growth and development. Through the process of taking our own medicine, as it were, we have identified another way to overcome the coaching paradox—not only can the field as a whole grow, but individual practitioners can develop as well. To this end, we challenge coaches to use the information contained in this book to identify, develop, and utilize their own strengths in order to improve their coaching and grow their practices.

SPECIAL TOPICS IN POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY COACHING Positive psychology is far more than “happiology” or a familiar song and dance about the importance of focusing on personal strengths. In fact, sophisticated positive psychologists will be the first to admit that negative emotions, struggle, and personal failures are also an important, as well as inevitable, part of life. There is a swelling literature on growing through adversity, and we encourage you not to overlook client setbacks and difficulties as important fodder for work as you help facilitate positive change. Several topics in positive psychology speak to the fundamental truth that negatives need to be weighed alongside the positives. Researchers have investigated, for instance, positive topics that relate to adversity ranging from wisdom to resilience to optimism.28 In fact, positive psychology is too large an arm of the profession to succinctly summarize completely in this book. We have, 19

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therefore, chosen to include only a handful of positive psychology topics beyond happiness and character strengths. Because so much of coaching—whether it is executive, career, or life coaching—revolves around issues at work, we devote a full chapter to using positive psychology coaching in the workplace. Businesses and organizations make up a large part of the coaching milieu and professional concerns account for the lion’s share of coaching work. Fortunately, positive psychology is quickly coming to the attention of CEOs and managers. Large corporations from Sprint to Best Buy are beginning to make use of positive psychology programs, and coaches familiar with this material will be poised to increase their business. Take, for example, the Gallup Organization, a company with offices in 20 countries. Under the leadership of the late Don Clifton, the Gallup Organization used positive psychology strategies to produce happier, harder working, and increasingly loyal employees, as well as growing numbers of satisfied customers. Clifton instituted a positive company culture; one that valued its employees, and one that attended to their individual strengths. From “learning lunches” to on-site daycare, from rewarding outstanding performances to creating teams based on unique employee strengths the Gallup Organization invested heavily in a positive paradigm in the workplace. The move paid off. The company’s bottom line was boosted by benefits ranging from exceptionally productive workers to reduced costs associated with low employee turnover. Clearly, positive psychology works in the workplace. One fascinating new line of positive psychology research with the potential for exciting applications in the organizational setting looks at “job crafting,” the way in which individuals modify the actual work they do to make it more fulfilling.29 The surprising result from this research is that some individuals—those with a “calling orientation”—are far more likely to engage in this type of behavior and, therefore, reap the rewards. Orientations such as the calling attitude were first suggested by sociologist Robert Bellah in his influential book Habits of the Heart.30 Recent research on 20

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the topic shows that in any given profession—whether it is law, hotel management, or plumbing—people tend to vary in their relationships to their work.31 Some individuals, for example, dislike their job, dread going to work, and are only motivated by their paycheck. Others enjoy aspects of their job, but view their work primarily as a stepping-stone to other benefits, such as wealth, status, responsibility, or feelings of agency. Still others feel “called” to their job and exhibit a passion for their work that often translates to professional success and deep satisfaction. These individuals, who feel that they are in a calling, spontaneously modify their work to make it feel more meaningful.

A NOTE ON SCIENCE AND COACHING We are as excited to share the findings from positive psychology with you as we were in discovering them for ourselves. In particular, we find that one of the most dynamic aspects of positive psychology is not just the rigorous scientific foundation on which it rests, not simply the surprising research findings or sophisticated assessments, but the spirit of innovation that surrounds the field. Positive psychology is, refreshingly, not confined to the professional journals or ivory towers of academia. As we researched the background material for this book, we came across individuals who were applying positive psychology in new ways and those who were laying the groundwork for future directions in the field with their provocative thinking. In each case, the enthusiasm that accompanies a focus on the positive was apparent. In writing this book, we relied not only on our firsthand knowledge of positive psychology and coaching, but we interviewed dozens of thought leaders, including coach trainers, workshop leaders, coaches, educators, and researchers. In nearly every case, we saw that using positive psychology was more than just another tool in the professional toolbox; it was an approach to life and work that affected people in profound ways. We hope that this book is just the first chapter in your understanding of positive psychology coaching. 21

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Over the years, we have met a number of coaches who appear less interested in hearing about background research and more invested in learning about practical, specific coaching interventions. This attitude is more than understandable: Most coaches are busy growing private practices or dealing with the demands of providing high-quality service to their employers. In a world that increasingly moves at break-neck speed, many people simply do not have the time for explanations and theories that cannot be told in the span of a quick breakfast. All of us are inundated with information, and it makes sense that readers will want to know not just that some interesting things popped up in the research laboratories of prestigious universities, but also how these findings can be applied in the real world. Despite this natural sentiment, we encourage you to take the time to learn the theory and science that forms the foundation of Positive Psychology Coaching. We promote the idea of regularly reflecting on what is going right, and what needs improving in your coaching practice. We encourage you to periodically return to source material, whether it is a weekend read of Rollo May’s essays or a conversation with your spouse about how the positive expectations of your parents during your childhood affected your goals as an adult. This is a great way of evolving professionally. To this end, we hope that this book provides provocative new perspectives for you to consider. We have attempted to distill decades of important research on a wide variety of topics into a potent tincture, and one that is easy to swallow. Taking the time to familiarize yourself with the background research will make you a stronger practitioner. There is an art to coaching, often seen in the spontaneity, playfulness, and use of intuition common to coaching sessions. We do not suggest here that systematic science ought to replace this art, nor do we argue in favor of cookie cutter interventions. Instead, we believe that the research literature itself is full of hidden gems, and that you can use your own ingenuity and creativity to design interventions that will be locally effective with your particular client base. 22

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FOUNDATION I Happiness and Positivity

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CHAPTER TWO


Take a moment and ask yourself the million dollar question: “Am I happy?” Go ahead and take the time to consider your answer for a while. Really think about it. To the extent that you can do the mental heavy lifting of weighing and summing up all of the disparate factors of your life, you probably came up with a surprisingly concise answer to the question. Something along the lines of “All things considered, I think I am generally on the happy side.” Regardless of your exact answer, it is interesting to consider how you arrived at your decision. Perhaps you thought about how events at work are going, probably focusing on recent projects rather than those from 10 years ago. Maybe you thought about the quality of your marriage, or about the circumstances of your life such as your income or commute. There are literally thousands of distinct pieces of information to consider. The more you reflect on your happiness, the more you will come to realize that a complete vision of your emotional well-being is a difficult puzzle to fit together.

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HAPPINESS AND POSITIVITY

When you really take the time to sift through every area of your life that you value, and all the relevant events from both the past and the present, the prospect of coming up with a sensible, coherent answer might seem overwhelming. Fortunately, people don’t navigate through the day bearing in mind every success and failure from across the life span. Most folks freely overlook the bicycle accident that occurred when they were 12, the substandard dinner that year in Hawaii, or that speeding ticket back in college. Instead, you are more likely to count the major events from the past and the present that dominate your attention. With this in mind, it is probably fair to say that you are likely very satisfied with some areas of your life, and have a few gripes with others. Our guess is that you like your marriage, love your kids, and harbor hope for your future at work. And, in each of these domains, there might be a thing or two that stresses you or that you would prefer to change. In the end, there are so many complex aspects to happiness that it is sometimes a wonder that any of us can do the mental arithmetic to come to a conclusion. And yet, you probably have a decent idea of your general level of happiness at any given time. In fact, we are sure you do. In all our years of work, we have yet to come across an educated, middleclass citizen of a Western nation who has never given any thought to whether or not his or her life is going the way he or she would prefer. The same holds true for your coaching clients. They know whether or not they are generally happy and satisfied with their lives. What’s more, there is a high likelihood that they can be extremely articulate about the areas of life that are going well, and about those things that are going wrong.

DOES HAPPINESS HAVE A PLACE IN COACHING? Experienced coaches know that clients rarely, if ever, seek our services to become happier. Indeed, the authors of this book have never experienced an intake session in which the prospective client stated as his primary goal, “I would like to raise my overall 26

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happiness from a 6 to an 8.” Instead, clients typically come to us because they want to find more satisfaction in their jobs, or they want to deal with a problem at work, or finally focus on that dream novel that has so long been on the back burner. Of course, troubles at work and unrealized dreams hint at some degree of dissatisfaction, or of chinks in the armor of personal fulfillment. Chances are, if you look and listen carefully to client complaints, you can see the unspoken goal of happiness lurking in the distance. Frequently, it is the problems people face that motivate them to seek out professional help and begin thinking about change. In these instances, clients solicit our services because they—to some degree—are dissatisfied, troubled, or stuck in some aspect of their lives. What they are looking for, at the most fundamental level, is a resolution to their current problems so that they can experience satisfaction and peace. The bottom line is that whether or not clients explicitly identify happiness as their ultimate goal, they do seek to be more emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically fulfilled, as we all do. Even for those who claim that their most pressing concern is increasing their influence or earning a larger paycheck, it is likely that these are actually stepping-stones to a deeper sense of meaning and fulfillment. More satisfaction at work, increased time with family, and progress on that long-unwritten novel all include emotional aspects of what we know as happiness. As coaches, when we ask powerful questions or create awareness, we often do so with the implicit assumption that our coaching is in the service of happiness. The truth is, happiness is as relevant to your coaching practice and clients as any of your other concerns and interventions. Moods are closely tied to optimism, motivation, and perseverance. Foul moods can sap energy from clients and interfere with good relationships while positivity offers the best possible chance for success. It is important that you consider happiness and other pleasant emotions as more than a desirable emotional finish line. Positivity, research shows, is a vital resource that helps clients reach their goals.1 When thought of this way, it seems irresponsible to withhold useful 27

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theories and proven interventions related to happiness. By educating yourself about this fascinating topic, you can add a useful new tool to your coaching skills repertoire. The topic of happiness has long been of particular interest to people. Greek philosophers of long ago, such as Aristotle, wrote important treatises on the topic.2 In the centuries between the classical Greeks and modern times, a steady stream of important thinkers have weighed in on issues related to happiness. St. Thomas Aquinas, John Stuart Mill, Gustave Flaubert, Charles Darwin, and Abraham Maslow are just a handful of the notable thinkers who turned their attention to the emotional Holy Grail— happiness. In modern times, happiness has, if anything, gained momentum in the popular imagination. In Western cultures, it has been included in the American Declaration of Independence, is implied in children’s “Happy Meals” at fast-food restaurants, and comes at the end of nearly every movie we see. In fact, happiness is so pervasive in modern cultural scripts and institutions that it has taken on the air of a moral imperative. These days, personal success is as much a matter of high emotional well-being as it is of financial gain. It is no longer enough that we make decent money or enjoy reasonable social status, we must now also be happy. Happiness is also not a uniquely American phenomenon; people in others countries want to have fun, fall in love, feel at peace, and experience satisfaction. This evolving sense of “happiness urgency” and global trends toward self-reflection is what initially motivates many people to seek out coaching services. But, for those of us who believe in the power of coaching as an effective tool for personal, social, and professional development, it makes sense to know how our chosen medium works to promote happiness, and in which ways we might unwittingly hinder our clients’ searches for emotional fulfillment. As a profession, coaches are fortunate enough to be at the forefront of a growing wave of individual and organizational interest in happiness. For years, this emotion was viewed as a frivolous emo-

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tional pastime with little or no place in business, leadership development, or meaningful self-growth. This changed dramatically when Martin Seligman assumed the presidency of the American Psychological Association and launched positive psychology.3 Seligman was quick to point out that the vast majority of psychological research, assessment, and intervention were focused on psychopathology. Undoubtedly, depression, anxiety, and other clinical maladies are pressing concerns; but what about the many things that go right with people, what about human flourishing? Seligman was brave enough to call attention to this glaring gap in psychological knowledge and farsighted enough to look at ways to bring positive topics to the fore. He relentlessly championed a new line of research and was staggeringly successful. Within a handful of years, Seligman’s brainchild had grown into lucrative research prizes, annual conferences, a young scholar development program, high-profile organizational donors, a best-selling book, a flood of media attention, and exciting new assessments. But, positive psychology is more than feel-good inspirational messages from a charismatic leader. Recent years have seen positive psychology evolve from a fad into an institution that is here to stay. As we mentioned in Chapter 1, the University of Pennsylvania now offers a master’s degree program in applied positive psychology—the first of its kind anywhere in the world, and the Gallup Organization gives the positive psychology focused biannual Clifton Strengths Prize that comes with a handsome cash award of a quarter of a million dollars. Seligman also saw, very early on, that positive psychology was just too good to be relegated to academic theories and arcane research. Trained as a clinical psychologist, Seligman was eager to find ways for people to be able to use positive psychology, and he landed on coaching as a natural application. With our aim of teasing out the best in people, many coaches were already—although often unwittingly—using some positive psychology in their services. Seligman teamed with one of the authors of this book (BD)

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to create the Authentic Happiness Coaching (AHC) program, which trained thousands of coaches in the scientific underpinnings and new interventions of positive psychology. Many of these program graduates have gone on to establish flourishing practices, or to enhance existing practices with new tools. We interviewed several of them for this book. Since the start of AHC, positive psychology has continued to grow, and new interventions are receiving research support for their effectiveness. Some readers, especially those coaches who work with and in large organizations or who provide executive coaching, may be skeptical of talking about happiness with their corporate or other clients. This hesitation is more than understandable; it is an intelligent caution. The word happiness is a vague buzzword and can— in some people’s minds—come dangerously close to suggesting naiveté, complacency, or new ageism. Many coaches we have spoken with find alternative titles, words, and frames for happiness to make the concept more attractive to clients. Carol Kaufman, the Harvard instructor and coach, says that good research can go a long way toward selling what might otherwise be seen as “soft” topics such as “hope.” “When I discuss hope psychology,” Kaufman explained to us in a recent interview, “I describe it as efficacy and talk about it as a powerful predictor of success. I can show clients studies that back up my claims.” The most successful coaches sell positive psychology in general, and happiness in particular, by tying concepts together with workplace outcomes. It is one thing to pitch “increasing happiness” to a sales team, and quite another to offer them “a program designed to foster the positivity that clients look for, and which leads to higher customer approval and loyalty.” But happiness is much more than a matter of verbal gymnastics, it is—quite literally—the most important topic your clients are currently overlooking. Happiness is not idle emotional leisure, it is decidedly beneficial. The coaches and consultants we interviewed during the writing of this book were unanimous in their appraisal of the organizational reception to positive psychology: It does not matter if the topic is happiness, 30

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emotional intelligence, or flow, business leaders can be surprisingly open-minded when they see proof that these topics affect their bottom line. Do you still think it will be tough to sell happiness-related services and programs to your clients? Consider the compelling new review of scientific studies of happiness conducted by University of California psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky and her colleagues.4 The research team reviewed dozens of studies spanning years and employing a wide range of samples. What did the reviewers find? Happiness, in short, is more than pleasant, it is beneficial. Happy people live longer than their less fulfilled counterparts. Happy people also tend to make more money, are more likely to get married (and stay married), and have more friends. Who wouldn’t want to be richer, healthier, and more popular? As if these outcomes were justification enough to be focusing on happiness, Lyubomirsky and her colleagues also found a wide variety of benefits related to the workplace. Happy people generally outclass their less happy counterparts on measures of organizational citizenship: happy folks take fewer sick days, stay loyal to their employers longer, received better evaluations from their supervisors and from customers, show more helpful behaviors, and are more creative. What employer wouldn’t want exceptionally healthy, productive, loyal, altruistic, creative, and friendly employees? The truth is, happiness doesn’t need to be sold . . . it sells itself. Happiness feels good, people already want it, and it has now been proven to be enormously beneficial, both individually, and in the workplace. Point 1: Happiness is beneficial. Happy people live longer, stay married longer, make more money, receive better evaluations from work supervisors, take fewer sick days, are more altruistic, and more creative.

Still not convinced? Consider the following examples of how positive psychology has been successfully used in businesses. In 31

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the last chapter, we discussed the time when Gallup CEO Jim Clifton told a group of coaches and psychologists that “positive psychology works!” At that same meeting Clifton further justified employing positive psychology techniques such as building on employee strengths and promoting happiness on the job. Think this is just executive lip service? Gallup has published a series of best-selling books, the most recent of which is How Full Is Your Bucket? all of which hinge on the central idea that focusing on the positive is more effective than dwelling on the negative.5 Clifton also said that we live at a time when the competitive distance between companies is a very narrow margin. Anything that gives a business an edge will translate to important tangible gains in the marketplace. Positive psychology is one such edge.6 Although we think Clifton was a dynamic, caring, and intelligent individual we do not see him as a maverick CEO. Other heads of industry can be equally open-minded. In fact, Susan David, the EvidenceBased Psychology consultant, told us that the CEOs she has worked with have been hungry for effective new paradigms, interventions, skills, and opportunities. A specific illustration of this can be seen in the case of David’s, a chain of more than 200 bridal shops. David’s contacted psychologist Martin Seligman to help design trainings for employees.7 The program was aimed at increasing employee resilience, an important ability when dealing with nervous and indecisive brides. In the four stores where David’s tested Seligman’s program, sales improved. Whether selling bridal wear or televisions, companies are learning in increasing numbers that happy employees are more productive, a positive work culture helps the bottom line, and positive psychology interventions work.

VERY HAPPY PEOPLE To the extent that the background research is true, and happy people enjoy successes in many areas of life, and that happiness is good for business, what is it about smiling and cheerfulness that 32

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makes these gains happen? What is it that very happy folks actually do differently from the rest of us? It makes sense to wonder about the habits of highly happy people. Are they smarter, or more energetic, or kinder? How is it that simple smiling and an emotionally upbeat mood can produce such substantial personal and professional boons? Three important studies offer clues into what makes happy people winners: 1. There has been a rise in the number of studies linking good moods to tangible health benefits. Perhaps the best known, and most intriguing, is the so-called “nun study” conducted by Deborah Danner and her colleagues.8 Danner’s research team examined short autobiographical statements written decades earlier by nuns entering a cloistered convent. The essays were part of a separate study but Danner was able to analyze the narratives for the presence or absence of positive and negative sentences and words. Based on this simple tally alone, the researchers found that nuns who had a high count of positive self-descriptors showed greater survival rates than their more negative counterparts. That is, a positive attitude seemed to be associated with a higher likelihood of still being alive late into the golden years. One of the aspects of this research that makes the study so dynamite is that the nuns had very similar lifestyles. They tended to have roughly the same habits (no pun intended) regarding drinking, smoking, exercising, and eating. Danner’s research is simply one powerful example of the health benefits of happiness, an emotional paycheck that buys energy and enthusiasm and protects against sickness and absenteeism. 2. The second study was conducted by psychologists Ed Diener (the father of happiness research) and Martin Seligman (the father of positive psychology).9 Diener and Seligman were interested in what very happy people might have in common with one another. They were curious about the characteristics, activities, and life circumstances of those 33

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lucky souls on the upper end of the happiness scale. To examine this question, the researchers looked at individuals who scored at the very top, and those who scored at the very bottom, on measures of happiness. What separated the happiest folks from those who were struggling emotionally? Was it their bank books? Their educational status? Their relationship with their supervisor? Diener and Seligman found that the single quality shared by the happiest people was that they tended to have an abundance of rewarding social ties. They were people who were in good marriages, got along with their bosses, and had many trusting friends. In this way, social relationships act like an alternator in a car’s engine, constantly recharging the battery even as the battery is being used. Intimate relationships add to your personal “happiness bank” while, at the same time, your increased happiness helps maintain old friendships and acquire new ones. 3. A last piece of research, conducted by Sonja Lyubomirsky, examined what she and her colleagues call “the art of living.”10 Lyubomirksy’s researchers spent time examining how chronically happy people reacted mentally to various situations. The researchers chose to look at the mental habits of dispositionally happy folks, those lucky souls who are in the upper quartile on happiness ratings. In a series of laboratory studies and in a subsequent review of other published research, Lyubomirsky found differences in the thinking styles between the happiest people and others.11 Happy people, according to the researchers, are less prone to self-reflection (especially rumination), less likely to engage in negative comparisons with peers (e.g., feeling badly about yourself if a friend succeeds), and were more likely to construe events positively (i.e., they were more likely to minimize the impact of daily hassles and savor the pleasure of successes). The good news where your clients are concerned is that many of

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these cognitive habits can be learned. We discuss how this can be done in greater depth in the next two chapters. Taken together, the research shows that happy folks have three qualities in common: they (1) employ positive thinking habits to maintain a sense of well-being, (2) are physically healthy, and (3) tend to their relationships with the same care a gardener might tend to his or her plants. This holy trinity of happiness habits, in turn, translates to terrific benefits at home and at work. But these are only the broad strokes of happiness. Below the surface lie many intriguing questions: What is happiness? How is it best achieved and maintained? How do our circumstances, such as income, affect our well-being? The growing scientific body addressing these questions provides helpful answers for you and your clients. Because the answers come out of empirical research, it is our hope that you are better able to use them in developing a positive psychology practice. Point 2: Very happy people have better health habits, effectively tend to their relationships, and use healthy thinking styles.

A SCIENTIFIC HISTORY OF HAPPINESS In the past 30 years, science has turned its attention in a serious way to questions related to ultimate psychological concerns such as personal fulfillment and lasting emotional happiness. Early researchers used simple happiness surveys to gauge the moods of college sophomores, the elderly, the rich, and other demographic groups of interest. These pioneers were primarily interested in life circumstances and their effects on well-being. For instance, Ruut Veenhoven, a Dutch sociologist, spent years collecting and analyzing happiness data from dozens of nations, and was successful in rank-ordering societies in terms of average national happiness.12

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Veenhoven suggests that happiness, when viewed at large group levels such as that of nation states, is—in part—the product of the “livability” of a society. Countries with high-quality educational systems, good infrastructure, high literacy, equality between the sexes, bountiful job prospects, and modern health care produce happier citizens. His work on national differences in happiness earned him international acclaim, and he was asked to consult with the Bhutanese government as it initiated its campaign to measure “gross national happiness.” Veenhoven compiled his impressive collection of research and bibliographic notes on his “world database of happiness” web site (http://www1.eur.nl/fsw /happiness). Another set of early researchers chose to focus on internal psychological aspects of happiness such as the role of personality types. For example, University of Wisconsin psychologist Carol Ryff developed a theory of “psychological well-being” in which she examined basic existential needs and challenges faced by everyone as they strive to achieve self-determination.13 Ryff developed useful assessments to measure mastery, autonomy, relatedness, selfacceptance, and growth. According to Ryff, people have fundamental needs—similar to those suggested by Maslow in his famous hierarchy—that must be attended to and met for psychological flourishing to take place. People are happiest, according to Ryff, when they feel connected, autonomous, and capable. As the science of happiness progressed and advances were made in measurement and research design, new ideas about happiness emerged in the scientific community. One modern research tradition, promoted by Princeton University professor and Nobel Laureate Daniel Kahneman, is that of “objective happiness.”14 According to Kahneman, the best way to get at a person’s “true happiness,” is to measure their moment-to-moment feelings. This is typically done with a palm top computer, or similar electronic device, that presents mood surveys to research participants at random but frequent intervals over the course of the day. Although this might sound like a fanciful approach, Kahneman has found 36

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some very interesting, and often counterintuitive results from this process. For instance, it makes sense to assume that the longer an experience continues the more a person will recall it as either very pleasant or very unpleasant. A 2-week vacation to Hawaii, for example, seems like it should be about twice as pleasant as a 1-week vacation. By contrast, it only makes sense that a two-hour dental procedure must be twice as unpleasant as the same procedure lasting only one hour. Kahneman and his colleagues found that this commonsense notion is not necessarily the case. People, as it turns out, have the extraordinary cognitive habit of overlooking duration when recalling how much they enjoyed an event or activity. Instead, people tend to look at the peak and the end, the best (or worst) moment and the most recent moment when making their evaluations.15 Kahneman has shown that folks don’t always do their mental accounting in expected ways, and that recalling events, while not necessarily “accurate,” is an important subjective aspect of happiness.16 Kahneman’s research might have an unintended fringe benefit for coaches. His research is an inspiring example of a respected scientist—one who has won the Nobel Prize in economics—who believes that it is not only possible but worthwhile to measure happiness. His research also shows that scientific study of happiness extends well beyond commonsense assumptions or intuitive personal opinions. Because the scientific method has the virtues of sophisticated measurement, generalizable results, and controlled conditions that can establish causality, the science of happiness can, and does, add substantially to the many armchair theories we create. Point 3: Happiness research is nonobvious. Happiness can be measured and studied scientifically, and the results of happiness studies are often counterintuitive.

Perhaps the newest development in happiness research is our growing understanding of this wonderful feeling at the biological 37

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level. In recent years, advances in brain-imaging technologies and other biological measures have led to encouraging new insights. For example, researchers using EEGs have been able to identify the left pre-frontal and mid-frontal lobes of the brain as important centers for behavioral activation and the experience of pleasant emotions.17 This means that scientists have been able to locate the part of the brain responsible for approaching, exploring, discovering, and feeling happy. Although in its relative infancy, this branch of science carries the promise of biological happiness interventions, and makes a much-needed case for the “hard science” of happiness. Perhaps the best-known example of happiness brain research is a demonstration conducted by Richard Davidson, a neuroscientist at the University of Wisconsin. Davidson, a friend of 1960s guru Ram Das and sometime guest of the Dalai Lama, has long been interested in meditation and effortful mental control. To investigate this topic, Davidson measured the brain activity of Mathieu Ricard, a Buddhist monk who spent years in silent retreats practicing Vipassana mediation.18 Davidson asked Ricard to “voluntarily generate compassion,” a task that many of us struggle with in our daily interactions with frustrating commutes, lunch lines, and inept customer service representatives. Lab assistants who were hooked up to the scanner were able to produce only small blips on the monitor as they attempted to feel compassion. But when it was Ricard’s turn, the monk was able to generate furious spikes at exactly the times he was requested to feel compassion. Not only is this an impressive demonstration of the potential of meditation, it is a step toward a productive marriage of neuroscience and happiness. As measurement technologies become cheaper, easier to use, and more portable, the biology of happiness will affect coaching services in exciting new ways. Imagine a computer console that is programmed to flash visual stimuli aimed at activating areas of the brain necessary for the specific tasks you are working on. Or picture a business suit that monitors your stress levels and cues you when it is an optimal opportunity for a 38

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break. At the rate at which knowledge and technology are advancing in these areas, such ideas may be less a science-fiction fancy and more a real partnership not far in the offing. But if we know so much about happiness—if we know what it is, who has it, and how to get it—why aren’t more people happier? If media accounts are to be believed, people are flocking to therapy and consuming antidepressant drugs in record numbers. Incidents of school violence are also on the rise, as is the divorce rate in an alarming number of industrialized nations. Drug use statistics, urban crime rates, AIDS rates, instances of armed conflict, and homelessness complete this dark portrayal of modern society. Even as we enjoy unprecedented amounts of material comfort, the prospect of personal fulfillment, at first glance, seems like an emotional long shot. In the face of such depressing social trends, it makes sense to ask what has gone wrong. It is natural to wonder who, in this increasingly complex and difficult world, is happy, and how they got that way. Research on subjective well-being (SWB), the gold standard in the psychological science of happiness, is one promising source of information for us to turn to as we attempt to answer this important question. For decades, SWB researchers have employed sophisticated methods to measure various aspects of happiness with a wide range of groups around the world. As a result, we now know a great deal about who is happy, and how they achieved this enviable emotional state.

A NOTE ON THE WORD “HAPPINESS” Before delving too far into the scientific secrets of happiness, we should take a moment to address the often problematic word itself. Happiness has become a kind of linguistic shorthand, by which many things are meant. Happiness might imply joy, or cheerfulness, naïveté, or contentment. Some people think of happiness as a sense of internal peace while others consider it upbeat cheerfulness. Some people think happiness is synonymous with complacency, while others think of it as an invigorating and energetic 39

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feeling. Although you may never have considered the emotion in quite this way, it is true that positive emotions “bleed together” more than do negative ones.19 Unpleasant feelings, such as fear or anger, serve a specific purpose and signal us important information about our environment and suggest specific courses of action. Pleasant moods, on the other hand, are less specific in their uses. Contentment, joy, cheerfulness, and exuberance are a mass of happiness-related feelings. Because happiness is, at its heart, a subjective experience, it makes sense that different people would interpret this word, as well as the feeling itself, in different ways. But despite cultural and individual differences in values and norms, we all share the same basic physiology and, therefore, the same basic emotional systems. Paul Ekman and other researchers who have traveled to remote corners of the globe have provided bountiful evidence that people tend to share an understanding, recognition, and basic experience of happiness.20 Although there are some variations in what makes individuals feel happy, and how happy they might feel, there is much more that is common to the experience of happiness: It feels pleasant, it is transient, it motivates us. Subjective well-being researchers, to their credit, recognized very early on the problem of adequately defining happiness and developed a theory of well-being that spanned a wide range of possible interpretations of happiness. According to Ed Diener, the world’s leading expert on subjective well-being, happiness contains both an affective (feeling) component and cognitive (satisfaction) component.21 Happiness can best be thought of as the total amount of pleasant emotions, such as joy and affection, people feel plus their cognitive evaluation of how satisfied they are with their life as a whole, or with specific aspects of their life such as their marriage, job, and commute. In fact, it is this broad definition that has helped make SWB such a driving force in happiness studies: this rendering of happiness includes pleasant feelings, a sense of personal fulfillment, and allows for an appropriate range of unpleasant emotions. In addition, Diener is quick 40

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to point out that happiness is not incredibly intense and ecstatic, but is, more often, mildly pleasant.22 When thought of this way, SWB is a theory that includes most people’s individual definition of happiness. A comment must also be made here about unpleasant emotions, such as fear, anger, and sadness. Coaches, positive psychologists, and our clients have a tendency to undervalue unpleasant emotions. Many people think of happiness as being, in part, a lack of sadness or other negative emotions. This is, however, not true. Subjective well-being researchers also pay attention to unpleasant feelings and recognize their many functions. In fact, SWB researchers believe that anger, fear, and sadness are important emotions that help us navigate through life. Imagine, for example, not being able to experience grief over the loss of a loved one, anger at an injustice, or fear of an objective physical danger. Subjective well-being researchers suggest that we should and do feel such emotions, but optimally we would feel far less of these than we would of the pleasant emotions such as joy and affection. Frequently, the permission to feel negative moods, and the ability to see their value, can be liberating for clients who view emotional perfection as a complete absence of anything but joy. Point 4: Happiness is the experience of frequent, mildly pleasant emotions, the relative absence of unpleasant feelings, and a general feeling of satisfaction with one’s life.

FINDINGS FROM SUBJECTIVE WELL-BEING A happy person, using the SWB definition, would be someone who is somewhat satisfied with her life, feels a preponderance of pleasant emotions, and only occasional, appropriate guilt, sadness, anger, and fear. This happy person would likely enjoy her work, having meaningful friendships or romantic relationships, and be reasonably healthy. She would, undoubtedly, sometimes 41

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feel “down,” and experience the disappointment and anxiety normal to life or have occasional complaints, but these feelings would comprise an emotional minority. Moreover, a happy person would likely feel mildly pleasant most of the time, rather than intensely upbeat all of the time. When happiness is viewed this way, a striking picture emerges: This description of a happy person is the description of most of us. We may vary slightly in how much we like our jobs, or have occasional relationship troubles, but basically most of us feel more positives than negatives in our lives, and are generally satisfied with many areas of our lives. Results from studies of SWB provide an interesting way to look at the concept of happiness. You can parse happiness into three basic underlying parts: processes, life conditions, and personal choices. Processes are natural psychological mechanisms that we may not even be aware of, such as thinking style, that affect our emotional well-being. Life conditions, such as income and geographical happenstance, have received the bulk of attention from researchers but are, to a large degree, outside of personal control. Last, personal choices, such as goals, emotional reactions, and the events we choose to pay attention to, also affect happiness, and are well within our ability to choose and control. Because personal choice is the most relevant of these happiness components to the coaching endeavor, we discuss this topic in greater detail in the next two chapters.

HAPPINESS PROCESSES If personal choices and life circumstances are the furniture of happiness, psychological processes are the architecture, the home, in which they live. Some coaches see these processes—evolution, cognitive habits, and genetics—as immutable characteristics over which clients have little personal control. If biology, to some extent, determines how happy we feel, these coaches reason, then there must not be much point in addressing biological factors. In fact, in our experience, there is a tendency on the part of some 42

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coaches to rush toward personal choice, goals, and volitional factors en route to happiness. We encourage you to linger a while over these processes because they are interesting, important, and can provide educational material for your clients. As surprising as it might sound, dozens of studies of SWB show that, in fact, most people are “happy.”23 That’s right, most people are happy. This includes your friends, the guy in the sandwich shop downtown, your aunt in Florida, and—chances are—you. Huge samples using diverse groups, various methodological designs, and even different measures of happiness all point toward this conclusion: Most people are mildly happy most of the time. This finding often shocks people. It is easy to think of friends who are facing tough times, family members going through a painful divorce, or the struggles we have at work. It is a simple matter to recall times when we have felt worried or sad. Where, then, are these legions of happy folk, you might ask. It is natural, in the face of this research result, to wonder about the emotional effects of all the social injustices, personal set backs, health problems, poverty, failures in the world. What about the high rates of depression, suicide, and anxiety? While each of these is inarguably a serious issue, research shows that the majority of people are, indeed, happy. Bear in mind that happiness, by the SWB definition, does not mean chronic joy or intense positivity, or satisfaction in absolutely every domain of life, or a permanent state of emotional Nirvana immune to the hardships of life. Instead, the research suggests that people may simply be heartier and more emotionally resilient than we sometimes give them credit for. This finding holds true for a variety of sample groups ranging from pre-industrial tribal civilizations24 to people on the Forbes list of richest Americans.25 Whether using self-reports, surveys, memory measures, peer reports, or online experience sampling the tendency toward happiness is one of the most replicated findings in this area. This finding even holds true if we ask happiness questions in English, if we use indigenous concepts and words for happiness, or if we employ various definitions of happiness.26 We invite you to 43

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systematically test this idea for yourself by randomly choosing 10 extended family members, 10 friends, and 10 coworkers. Write down their names and ask yourself, how many of them are generally happy. How many of them are generally more positive than negative, and are generally satisfied with many domains of their lives? If, when you considered these folks, you weighed the sum total of their negative moods and experiences against the positive, which way would the scale tip? We do not mean to downplay social ills, or suggest that most people coast through life without experiencing pain. Of course not. It is just that humans are built, evolutionarily speaking, to pay attention to potentially harmful or threatening events. Because of this, it can be easy to recall past failures or world events that have a decidedly negative spin. Thus, being overly skeptical that most people are happy might be an attentional oversight, the result of some people’s overlooking the many instances of positivity in their own lives. In keeping with a positive psychology mindset, we interpret these results as evidence that people are more resilient than we sometimes give them credit for. The most-people-are-happy finding suggests that folks adjust to and overcome personal difficulties with inspiring levels of resilience. Even in the face of violence, illness, and social discord, the vast majority of people are able to overcome distress, find meaning, and seek out enjoyable experiences and relationships. How does the research finding that most people are happy apply to you and your clients? How can you use this information, and how might your worried clients react to hearing such a thing? In his research on “peak experiences”—those euphoric, intense moments of engagement and epiphany—Abraham Maslow discovered an interesting way of relating to his interviewees that might apply here. Many people who spoke with Maslow considered peak experiences, especially spiritual experiences, to be foreign, irrelevant, or unreachable. Maslow quickly turned the tables on them by showing them instances in which they already experienced peaks, spiritual and otherwise.27 In many cases, Maslow’s 44

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research participants simply needed a vocabulary to describe their experiences, or tools to identify them. Similarly, working with your clients to illustrate the many examples of happiness in their lives can be an important educational tool. Helping clients by creating an awareness of their many successes, past and present, in various domains of life can spark growth and excitement by changing stereotypes and expectations about happiness. In all likelihood, there are few (if any) clients who do not have experience mastering a skill, overcoming a challenge, enjoying an activity, helping a stranger, loving and being loved, achieving a goal, dreaming of a better future, eagerly anticipating an event, relishing a success, feeling awed by art or nature, fondly remembering childhood, laughing with friends, winning an award, thinking of a new idea, or learning something new. Clients may vary somewhat in how much they value talking about such things, or how easy it is for them to remember all these high points, but the base material is there. The opportunities for happiness are just too plentiful for clients not to accept their many successes with this emotion. When you think about the notion of widespread happiness, it is an idea that makes sense. Relationships, families, organizations, institutions, and societies rely on happy people to function effectively, and happy people tend to have more energy, health, and motivation. We tend, for example, to woo our mates when we are feeling good, we work harder on the job when we are pleased and engaged, and we are more playful and creative when we are in a good mood. A world populated entirely by depressed people, by contrast, would not run nearly as well as the one we live in. Depression has a way of sapping energy and leaving people with a pessimistic, bleak view of their world. Why might this be? Many researchers suggest that humans are evolutionarily adapted to feel mild, frequent happiness. Facing an uncertain world in which we have limited control of our surroundings could be overwhelming. And yet, our collective history suggests that humans have long been explorers, hunters, and engaged in other activities that require an optimistic outlook. Evidence for 45

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this idea comes from laboratory studies by John Cacioppo, a researcher at the University of Chicago.28 Cacioppo uses sophisticated biological measures of facial muscles associated with smiling and frowning to investigate people’s emotional reactions to various stimuli. He shows his research participants photographs of ice cream cones, rocking chairs, and children afflicted by horrendous medical conditions; and then assesses people’s physiological reactions. Cacioppo finds that people, in general, react to neutral photographs as if they were positive. This “positivity offset” suggests that in the absence of an identifiable danger (a bear, traffic, a mugger, a sheer drop) people will tend to be active, approach oriented, and willing to explore their surroundings. This is, in part, the psychological mechanism that allows us to try new restaurants, take vacations to foreign countries, meet new people, implement a new idea at work, or take up new hobbies. Point 5: Happiness is functional. Individuals, families, organizations, and societies need happy individuals to flourish. Happy people are more likely to be curious and explore, to take risks, and to seek new relationships.

If humans have, on average, a positivity offset that helps them prosper then this hints at an evolutionary role of happiness. The idea of emotions as serving an evolutionary function is not, in itself, new. In fact, Darwin published a book in 1872 called The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals in which he examined the nature of weeping, love, joy, fear, and many other emotions and emotional behaviors.29 Darwin’s ideas were accepted so widely by the public that over time we have ceased to recognize his hand in our thinking. Most of us are taught in grade school about fear, and the “flight, fight, fright” response. For those who might be rusty on their elementary science: We feel fear when we are in danger. Fear, in turn, limits our possible responses to fighting, fleeing, or freezing. This helps us by limiting the number of choices we have to sift 46

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through before we act. When a bear lumbers into your campsite (as has happened to one of the authors of this book!), it is helpful to be able to freeze, back away, or yell quickly without much thought. Imagine human survival if we had to weigh 20 or 30 options before deciding on a course of action. For years, Darwin’s theory was acknowledged, especially where anger and fear were concerned. But very few people considered that there might be an important evolutionary function of happiness. Happiness and other positive emotions turn out to be much more than an emotional destination, they are a resource. Barb Frederickson, a University of North Carolina psychologist and positive psychology pioneer, developed an evolutionary theory of positive emotions.30 According to Fredrickson, positive emotions work counter to negative emotions. If fear, anger, sadness, and worry serve to limit our possible choices of actions, positive emotions expand them. Fredrickson’s “broaden and build” theory states that feelings of love, joy, pride, and enthusiasm help people develop their personal and social resources.31 Folks in a good mood are more likely to seek out others, be more creative, or be motivated to hone skills. What’s more, it doesn’t matter which good mood we are talking about. Pride, enthusiasm, joy, affection, and happiness all prod folks into playing, connecting, exploring, and working. This is an important point for positive psychology coaching, and one we wish to emphasize here. While happiness, itself, is a perfectly acceptable aim, people who look to happiness only for the pleasure it confers may be overlooking the fact that mild daily positive feelings are beneficial in many ways. Fredrickson and her colleagues report that happy people are more creative, more helpful, more sociable, and more energetic than those individuals who are unhappy.32 It is an understanding of these social, physical, and psychological benefits of feeling good that have led to the popularity of so-called “laughing clubs.” Originally pioneered in India, these clubs have spread throughout the world, and typically meet daily to start the morning with a hearty communal laugh. Many 47

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people who have attended such gatherings report increased energy, enthusiasm, and creativity throughout the day. Thus, happiness can be looked at as a tremendous resource for achieving other goals, and a fantastic resource in coaching sessions. Many skilled coaches, when brainstorming with a client, will intentionally suggest outrageous ideas as a way of introducing humor and thereby setting the stage for creativity. In the end, happiness is much more a process than it is a destination. Even those individuals who achieve goals that are important to them tend not to simply rest on their laurels but often want to soar to new heights. With the old goals accomplished, people set their sights on the new. The satisfaction that comes with achievement might just be a cognitive and emotional paycheck for a job well done. That paycheck we can then spend as a resource to work toward other, new goals. In this way, happiness is less a cup that can be filled over and over, and more of a miracle vessel that can actually refill itself. Many people wonder what the optimal level of happiness is. Perhaps you have considered the possibility that there must be some upper limit to the amount of happiness people are capable of feeling, or boundaries on the amount of time we can maintain a positive attitude. Maybe you have asked yourself how it is that we can achieve a goal, feel satisfied, and then have room to feel satisfied again in the future as we accomplish our next goal. If each new personal success provided additional happiness, this would mean, more or less, that our happiness level would keep rising over the course of our life, and if something negative did not occur to drag us back down, our expansive mood might hit the emotional stratosphere. Is happiness like a balloon that continues to swell as it is inflated? Is there a point at which it pops? Fortunately, humans have a natural adaptive mechanism that prevents this from happening. Just as the body has built-in processes, such as sweating, that allow us to “cool down” after ex-

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ercise, so too do we regulate our emotions by adapting back to our individual “baseline” feelings. Although individuals vary slightly in their natural emotional set-point, most of us are in the mildly positive range.33 If you imagine happiness on a scale from 1 to 10, then the majority of us would level off somewhere in the 6, 7, or 8 range. Adaptation is one of the most interesting and important, but least talked about aspects of happiness. Although we experience the natural emotional highs and lows that come with success and failure, research shows that we tend to adapt back to a mildly pleasant “resting emotional state” rather quickly.34 Pay raises, promotions, new marriages, and new births typically give us an emotional boost, but over the weeks or months, we settle into our new roles—whether they be as wife, father, or supervisor—and forget about the momentary ecstasy the change brought. Research by Michigan State University psychologist Rich Lucas shows that, although there is individual variation, many people can adapt to a wide range of new situations including unpleasant circumstances such as divorce35 and unemployment.36 However, adaptation takes a while, and there are some circumstances that are more difficult to adjust to than others. In the end, however, people turn out to be very resilient in their ability to bounce back from life’s hardships. Some coaches take the research findings on adaptation as bad news. At first glance, the idea of adaptation seems to suggest that there is an emotional ceiling beyond which there is little hope of passing. At its worst, the natural process of adaptation calls into question the very effectiveness of coaching. Why work with people on making gains and growing if they will ultimately just drop back down to their emotional former levels? Adaptation is vitally important to happiness for several reasons: First, adaptation means there is room for emotions to work their magic. Emotions are signals that tell us how things are going. Engagement at work, for instance, lets us know that our job is challenging and satisfying. Fear in a romantic relationship hints to us about problems,

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power dynamics, and unhealthy communication styles. Adaptation means that there is room on our emotional thermometer for the gauging of new successes and failures. Last year’s vacation, for instance, might have been wonderful, but the emotional intensity must be swept away to make room for the potential joys of this year’s holiday. A related, more hidden message here is that adaptation also suggests that complacency might not be a problem. That is, being extremely satisfied will not necessarily leave you or your clients feeling unmotivated because there will almost always be room to grow. A success on the job commonly brings a spike in satisfaction, but that feeling gradually dampens, often just in time for you to begin working toward that exciting new challenge at work. The research on adaptation suggests that we can revel in our achievement, with the assurance that, later on, we will be hungry for more. The second reason adaptation is so important is that knowledge of this natural process can help us set realistic emotional expectations for ourselves. Adaptation suggests that we are simply incapable of experiencing euphoric highs over long periods of time. Clients who chase these extreme emotional highs, or who expect to experience them in perpetuity, are setting themselves up for disappointment. Whether clients cling to a rosecolored vision of childhood happiness, want to cling to the excitement of a win, or hope the rush of infatuation lasts forever, a rigid, extreme view of happiness can lead to painful letdowns. Understanding that happiness and satisfaction are frequent and mild, rather than permanent and intense, can help you and your clients appreciate the happiness you already experience as well as avoid the trap of looking for Hollywood-style perfection. Using the idea of optimal happiness in our own coaching practice, clients are generally terrifically relieved, rather than disappointed, to learn that an 8 on a 10-point happiness scale is, essentially, a perfect score. In fact, understanding optimal happiness typically lets clients off the emotional hook, reassuring them that they are experiencing life as they should, and freeing them up to focus on other goals. 50

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Last, adaptation is important because it suggests a hopeful message: People are tough, and can overcome the obstacles and pitfalls of life. For those who fear that adaptation unfairly drags people down from well-earned emotional highs, it is important to remember that this natural mechanism also buffers us against unfortunate lows. Just as we adapt downward from our occasional highs, so too do we bounce back from the occasional failures and setbacks in life. The loss of a job, a spouse, a sale, or a promotion may sting in the short term, but research on SWB shows that people recover surprisingly well.37 Understanding, and having faith in, your ability to adapt—even to difficult or adverse circumstances—can often help individuals tolerate risk, face uncertainty, or regain the optimism necessary for effective functioning. Consider the folks you know who have faced adversity in one form or another. Think about family members who have gone through a divorce, or friends who have struggled with health problems. Although these experiences were undoubtedly difficult, most people adjust over time, and begin crafting a new, meaningful life for themselves. The research showing how widespread adaptation is offers evidence that this type of meaningmaking is, indeed, a natural endeavor. It is, quite simply, what we were made for. Point 6: People adapt back to a mildly pleasant mood from both good and bad events. This means we should not expect intense happiness all of the time, and we should expect to recover from hardship and difficulty.

Another interesting happiness process is the notion of a “happiness timeline.” When most people consider happiness, they think about it much in the same way that Daniel Kahneman suggests in his theory of “objective happiness,” that happiness is felt in the moment.38 Happiness, for most folks, is an emotion that is very much in the here and now. In fact, happiness can be seen as 51

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a kind of thermometer by which we gauge how well our lives are going in the present. Fulfillment, on the other hand, is what people typically think of when they consider lasting feelings of wellbeing. Fulfillment is a feeling that extends beyond the present moment. Research on SWB has shown that the two concepts are related—and in an unusual way. It turns out that how happy we remember events being is vitally important to the decisions we make, regardless of whether that memory is true. In an interesting study conducted by University of Northern Arizona psychologist Derrick Wirtz,39 college students were asked to predict how happy they would be on their upcoming spring break. Then, he sent them off on vacation with personal computers and collected mood data over the course of the week. Finally, he asked the students to recall how happy they were over spring break a couple weeks after their return to campus, and also asked them if they would want to repeat the trip in the future. Common sense tells us that the actual happiness of the spring break trip should determine the desire to repeat the trip. If a vacation is lousy, you probably want to go somewhere else. If it was beautiful, you may be tempted to try it again. Interestingly, the students’ expectations about how fun and pleasant spring break would be influenced how they remembered it; even more so than the actual feelings they experienced while on vacation. While in-the-moment experiences of happiness are certainly important, it is also crucial to keep in mind the ways in which expectations and memories can affect important decisions for the future. The happiness timeline (Figure 2.1) is obviously more than a vague academic interest or example of a single clever study. Thinking about expectations and recall can help you in your own coaching practice. You probably deal with clients who are struggling to make decision for the future. Asking them to predict their emotions in that future situation and asking them to remember their feelings from similar situations in the past may prove helpful.

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Expectations

Current happiness

Remembered happiness

Figure 2.1 Happiness timeline.

CIRCUMSTANTIAL HAPPINESS As interesting as the internal clockworks of happiness are, the big money question for coaches is how to achieve happiness. If we can gift our clients a feeling of joy, fulfillment, or satisfaction, we are well on our way to fulfilling our personal and professional mission. For many of us, happiness is so elusive, and so sublime, that the idea of a secret, or a key to unlock it, seems only too natural. Ask the people around you “what makes people happy?” and you are likely to get a variety of answers and strongly held opinions. Self-help books, modern gurus, traditional religions, 10-point magazine articles, and ancient philosophers have all weighed in on this question, and each suggested a particular route to the emotional good life. Some people endorse the position that happiness is to be found in material comforts while others look for it in self-sacrifice and volunteerism. Rather than looking for a single “secret” to happiness, University of Illinois professor Ed Diener prefers to talk about a “recipe for happiness.”40 By this, Diener means that there are several key ingredients to happiness, as well as other lesser ingredients. In keeping with the culinary metaphor, there are some factors that are

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staples, and are necessary for happiness for all people, while there are other factors, the spices, that vary according to individual taste. Some factors are necessary for happiness in any individual, such as being born with a genetic predisposition toward extraversion and cheerfulness. Other ingredients are seasoned according to individual preferences (consider a stay-at-home mother who loves her work versus a career woman who loves her job). Thus happiness is caused by many things, some which are universally important, and some which vary depending on individual values; some which make a larger contribution to the overall meal of happiness, and some which do not matter as much. What then, are the ingredients necessary for a delicious dish of happiness? To answer this question, it makes sense to look out at the world and consider those things that seem to bring us joy. Traditionally, happiness researchers and lay people have turned toward personal circumstances as a possible major contributor to individual happiness. How does being rich or poor affect happiness? Are well-educated people happier? Are the elderly happy? These natural questions hint at a common underlying belief that a change of circumstances is all that is called for in the pursuit of happiness. Many folks think that a pay raise, a cross-town move, or a new school will solve their problems at last and provide enduring bliss. You, undoubtedly, know better. You likely understand that setbacks and successes occur for everyone, regardless of income level or geographic location. Life circumstances do contribute in a small way to overall happiness. Studies of many demographic factors have shown that income, religion, and personality all affect SWB.41 First, there is the genetic predisposition for happiness. Just as depression and other emotional disorders tend to run in family lines, inborn personality appears to be linked with being happy. Early research on SWB showed that extroverts were generally happier, and chronic worriers were less happy. But how, exactly, do we know this is because of inborn factors? In an extraordinar54

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ily ambitious series of studies, University of Minnesota psychologist David Lykken and his colleagues collected happiness data from hundreds of pairs of identical and fraternal twins, including those who were raised in the same household and others who were raised apart.42 When the researchers compared the scores of the parents to one another, and then the scores of the fraternal twins, and then those of the identical twins, they found a clear trend in happiness. The reported happiness scores of parents were less strongly correlated than those of the fraternal twins whose scores, in turn, were less strongly correlated than those of identical twins. Although studies such as these show biology to be a strong contributor to happiness (accounting for about half of the variation seen in happiness), our genetics need not be an emotional death sentence. Much of individual happiness has to do with our intentional activities, the physical and social circumstances of our lives, and the way we make meaning out of the world in which we live. Point 7: Although there is a strong genetic component to happiness, having meaning in life and good social relationships also contribute to our subjective well-being.

In the end, happiness is more than emotional idolatry or passing pleasantness. Happiness is both a goal and a resource of fundamental importance to your personal health, psychological well-being, and social functioning. Happiness is worth understanding precisely because it is so helpful and possible to attain. Although most folks aren’t used to thinking about emotions, especially happiness, as lynchpins of workplace performance or achievement, the truth is these are some of the most important and overlooked personal resources. As a coach, you can help your clients by introducing them to these concepts in language they will accept and understand, pointing out the aspects of their lives over which they have personal control and which will promote well-being. 55

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ACTION STEPS FOR POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY COACHES 1. Consider the types of coaching situations for which happiness research might apply. How could the “happiness-as-aresource” theory be applied to the problem of client “stuck-ness?” How might setting realistic expectations for “what happiness is” be used with executives working in a corporate setting? How might the information on adaptation be applied to clients who are faced with a difficult decision or transition? 2. Consider how you might use happiness assessments in your own practice. Will you include them in your welcome packet? Would you prefer that your clients fill out the surveys on their own time, or would you devote time during the session for this work? 3. Consider how you might discuss happiness with your clients. What language might you use to talk about happiness with an executive or in an organizational setting? How might you introduce the concept of happiness to a client wanting to focus on work or relationship concerns? How might happiness be relevant to these issues? Think about making a list of specific happiness benefits that your clients might value.

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FURTHER READING Klein, S. (2002). The science of happiness: How our brains make us happy—and what we can do to get happier. New York: Marlowe. An introduction to the biology and neural bases of happiness. Lykken, D. (1999). Happiness: The nature and nurture of joy and contentment. New York: St. Marten’s Griffin. A general overview of happiness research with special attention to genetic aspects of happiness. Myers, D. (1992). The pursuit of happiness. New York: Avon Books. A general overview of happiness from a research perspective.

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CHAPTER THREE


Many people are ill at ease when they hear the news that so much of our personalities, emotions, and leanings are the product of our respective genetic inheritances. The idea that we are merely preprogrammed machines with a genetically determined destiny flies in the face of our sense of life’s meaning, personal control, and hope for the future. Perfect genetic blueprints even form the basis for many fictional versions of utopias gone wrong such as Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World. Although advances in neuroscience and imaging technologies have taught us much about the clockworks of the human mind, you probably prefer to take pride in personal accomplishments rather than pass the credit along to complex strands of DNA. In short, preordination takes most of the fun out of life; reducing talents, successes, and personal dreams to formulaic processes outside of individual control. Most people would prefer not to be able to see into the future, and biological determinism can 59

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seem dangerously close to being exactly that. And yet, we are faced with a mountain of evidence from research—ranging from studies of identical twins to our furry primate cousins—that suggests that a wide variety of personal characteristics, including extroversion, church volunteerism, hunting, flirting, and sadness, all have a clear genetic component. We hope to console readers, colleagues, and clients on this issue by pointing out that knowing where our biological blueprint affects us, and where it does not, is a major breakthrough in our ability to facilitate change. Rather than trying to change wallflowers into social butterflies—a relative genetic dead end—coaches and other change agents do well to focus on those areas of personality and psychology largely under individual control. Further, you may be reassured to learn that studies of the genetic influences on personality suggest that a large portion of the influence—about half—is due to other factors beyond the biological.1 This is particularly true where happiness is concerned. The good news is that although life circumstances and fundamental genetic blueprints impact individual happiness, personal fulfillment is also a matter of personal choice. And personal choice is the currency in which change agents deal. The idea of personal control has, ironically, been somewhat overlooked by social scientists in general, and happiness researchers specifically, until recently. Early researchers were interested in how demographic variables such as age and sex—factors completely out of the realm of personal control—affected emotional well-being.2 Only in the past 5 years have positive psychologists begun to look at volitional activity and personal choice as a fruitful area to examine possible happiness interventions. Sonja Lyubomirsky, the happiness researcher at the University of California, proposes the theory that if roughly half of our emotional well-being is due to genetics, and 10% is the result of life circumstances such as economic status, race, and sex, then a full 40% is under individual control.3 It is on this substantial portion that we hope to focus our positive psychology interventions and change 60

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techniques. It is this significant part that the tested happiness interventions—discussed in detail in the next chapter—are meant to influence. Research shows that there are several aspects of life that are vitally important to happiness, each of which is under your personal control. These are: goals,4 social relationships,5 and cognitive habits.6 Choosing just the right pursuits, connecting with worthwhile people, and developing upbeat, positive thinking strategies can maximize your ability to live the life you want. But, be careful, some goals, the wrong friends, and unhealthy rumination and pessimism can leave you struggling emotionally. In short, you can manifest your own happiness by making smart choices. Time and again goals, relationships, and positive thinking have been shown to be important contributors to individual fulfillment and a life well lived. If you want to make a difference in the lives of your clients, and you want them to make substantive changes toward living a more productive, more fulfilling life, then understanding the elements of happiness that are under the auspices of personal control is a nice place to start. If our genetic codes are the bricks and mortar of our lives, then goals, relationships, and thinking habits are the doors, windows, elevators, and other parts of the architecture that we can move and adjust as we wish. Your clients might not be able to easily overcome their attention to detail, energy level, or social sensitivity, but they certainly have power over their desires, interactions, and thoughts. In fact, most people already have many easily identifiable examples of success in setting goals, tending to relationships, and attending to their thoughts. This lucky convergence—past success, personal control, and importance to happiness—make these three variables just too valuable not to take the time to understand in depth.

GOALS Can you remember when you were a child, and thinking about what you wanted to be when you grew up? What occupation 61

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attracted you? Did you want to be a fireman? A schoolteacher? A movie star? What about an officer in the air force? Whatever your answer, the appeal of a particular type of adult work is, for many of us, our first hint of the power of goals. Perhaps it is this vision of future outcomes that filled your daydreams, kept you awake during all-nighters in college, or helped you persevere when there were troubles. Goals—whether they are occupational, material, relational, or personal—are the natural motivators of life. Further, many positive psychology researchers have found a direct link between goal pursuit and happiness.7 With as much emphasis as coaches of all persuasions have placed on goals, it might be difficult to imagine that there is something new to say about them. Most of us have at least an intuitive grasp of their importance: Goals are vital to people because they help them organize their lives to meet crucial existential, social, personal, and psychological needs. What’s more, goals are important to the coaching endeavor because they provide a direction for our work and a baseline for evaluating the effectiveness of our services. Personal goals, those attractive future outcomes we all strive for, have long been the Holy Grail of coaching. Chances are, your clients love working on and toward goals and have an easy understanding of their motivational power. Likewise, seasoned coaches tend to focus heavily on goals, establishing goals for individual sessions, helping clients to clearly articulate goals, and conducting visioning exercises in which clients set long-term goals and work backward toward the present. The profession of coaching has, to a large degree, been built around goal setting, and for good reason. Goals are both functional and important. They give us direction, they motivate us, and they structure our time, actions, and decisions. Working toward goals gives us a sense of meaning and achieving goals provides a sense of accomplishment. Personal aspirations are the yardsticks by which each of us can chart a course and measure success. In short, goals are cool. At a conference on coaching psychology that took place in London at the end of 2005, Dr. Michael Cavanaugh, an instructor at the 62

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Coach Training Unit at the University of Sydney, made what seemed at the time to be a casual and cautionary comment. He said, “As coaches, we tend to rush toward closure on goals.”8 Cavanaugh’s statement is curious and provocative. What did he mean by this? Is Cavanaugh a professional heretic, bashing the goal-oriented approach that has long been the mainstay of many coaches? Was he suggesting that there are other pursuits and outcomes that we, as coaches, are overlooking? We believe Cavanaugh was implying— intelligently—that goals are too important to be treated in a cookie cutter fashion. He may have been suggesting that, as coaches, we have an obligation to our clients to take the time to flesh out goals, and to understand the psychological mechanisms that make goals so worthwhile. The clever acronyms with pneumonic value that most coaches are familiar with have obvious value, but in this chapter we hope to challenge you to deepen your understanding of how and why goals work. Many coaches work with the acronym SMART when helping clients design goals. The individual letters stand for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timelined. Most experienced coaches encourage their clients to articulate goals that contain these hallmark features, with the idea that this sets the stage for success and allows for the measurement of that success. By making goals specific, we can better understand our progress toward them. The relative success of an employee trying to “be a good salesman” is much harder to gauge than that of an employee trying to “open four new accounts this month.” Similarly, by setting her sights on small, attainable, and realistic goals the client optimizes her chances for a favorable outcome. By developing goals that are measurable and timelined, clients and their coaches have a better sense of progress toward the goal and can therefore evaluate the relative forward momentum of the client. Although the SMART criteria provide an excellent foundation for the setting of goals, it is often the coach’s only compass for charting the course through the waters of goal setting. The SMART approach can inform coaches in what they do, but it 63

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does not encourage them to consider why they proceed in this fashion, and whether this is the best route to client growth. Research on goals, and their relationship to happiness, provides a more complex picture of goals and offers new insights through which coaches can improve their practices. Goals are useful in that they create meaning for our lives, they provide us with a gauge for achievement, and they help us to structure our time and prioritize our activities. But as clearly functional as goals are, all goals are not created equally. As the SMART approach suggests, goals that are modest—those that are small and attainable—are the most likely to lead to fulfillment and protect us from becoming discouraged. A young person deciding to enter politics, by this rationale, would likely find more success and happiness by setting her sights, at least in the short-term, on winning an appointment to a local office, such as county clerk, than hoping to become a U.S. senator, a position that is statistically farfetched. As coaches, establishing the parameters of “attainable” and “realistic” goals can be sticky. Part of our job is to encourage personal transcendence, whereby we help our clients surpass their self-imposed limitations. If we set the bar for “attainable” too low, we risk holding our clients back from their potential. Too conservative a measure of “realistic” and our clients will hardly manage to win a seat on the local school board. Set the bar too high, and our clients risk failure in a very real way, and risk becoming dejected and uncertain about their worth and ability. How then are coaches to determine the architecture of “good” goals? How can we tell which are worth pursuing? Psychological studies can provide several compelling answers to this question. Research by psychologists Ed Diener and Frank Fujita, for instance, suggests that we should take stock of an individual’s (the client’s, for our purposes here) resources.9 In their study of personal resources—ranging from influential connections to health to public speaking ability to family support—the researchers found that the resources that were most relevant to an individual’s goals were the best predictors of her satisfaction. For example, a young 64

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professor wanting tenure may not be helped as much by a sudden windfall inheritance or the ability to speak a second language as she might be by public speaking ability and family support. Thus, one way to assess realism and attainability in goal setting is to make an inventory of your client’s resources, and work together to evaluate how relevant they are to the goals at hand. In this way, the research on goals found in the positive psychology literature can act as a useful adjunct to the SMART approach. Tip 1: Coaches and clients can measure if goals are realistic by evaluating client resources and determining whether these are relevant to the goal at hand.

Each of us has a set of personal goals, some small and some large, some private and some public, some short-term and others long-term. In the abstract, many of us have goals that look quite similar. Most of us are attracted to success at work, the pursuit of enjoyable leisure activities, and successful relationships. Even on a smaller scale, many of us would agree that it is also important to make it to our meetings on time, remember to get our clothes back from the dry cleaners, and carve out time to take the kids to the park on the weekend. It is here, on the content of goals, that most people focus and on which the SMART system is based. Research on the topic, however, shows us that there may be more to goals than this commonsense approach. GOAL ORIENTATION

Goal orientation is the way in which individuals think and talk about their goals. The goal orientation that has received the most research support for being important to happiness is the degree to which people strive for positive goals or strive to avoid negative goals. This dichotomy is commonly referred to as “approach” and “avoidance.”10 Approach goals are those positive 65

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outcomes that individuals strive for, such as “spend more time with the kids,” “be able to run a 10K by the summer,” or “implement the new emotional intelligence leadership training program this spring.” Avoidant goals, by contrast, are those negative outcomes that individuals work to avoid or prevent. These might include, “try not to be so lonely,” “avoid gaining weight this winter,” or “work to diminish discord at work.” There is a preponderance of research evidence linking avoidant goals to increased distress and anxiety, decreased levels of happiness, lower levels of social satisfaction, and poorer perceptions of health. We sometimes explain the approach and avoidance outlook through the metaphor of parents watching their child play in the yard. The approach-oriented parent allows his child to climb a tree because he values exploration, balance, physical strength, or excitement. The avoidant parent, by contrast, tells his child not to climb the tree because there is a legitimate risk of the child getting hurt, and the parent values safety and health. Both parents have a valid set of values, and both have a fine argument backing their respective decision. The approach parent may gift his child a little adventure at the risk of personal harm, while the avoidant parent saves his child from harm at the expense of sheltering him from experience. The avoidant orientation is a slightly more negative way to look at the world, with hints that the environment is hostile or harmful in some way. As coaches, we can listen for approach- and avoidance-related language, and ask clients questions that encourage them to reframe negative, avoidant goals, as positive ones. Goal orientation is a concern that touches us all to a greater or lesser degree. University of California psychologist Robert Emmons reports that, on average, between 10% and 20% of all goals are avoidance goals.11 Thus, goal orientation is not necessarily a matter of dealing with a few chronically negative individuals, but is a fertile area for coaches to work with a wide variety of clients. It may be helpful, when working with your clients, for you to keep an ear open for goal orientation as well as content. Listening for approach tendencies, and working with clients to craft goals in 66

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terms of an approach orientation will increase their chances of finding satisfaction. In addition, a few well-placed questions aimed at avoidant goals may lead to important insights and possible reframing strategies. For instance, if you are working with a client who is nervous about presenting in a team meeting, you might direct her attention toward what positive outcomes she might seek, such as informing the work group, rather than the negatives ones, such as potential embarrassment, that she hopes to avoid. Point 1: Approach goals promote well-being while avoidant goals can detract from happiness.

GOAL CONTENT

Another surprising set of findings from positive psychology research is on specific goal content. It turns out that certain goals are happiness dead ends. Robert Emmons has spent much of the past 20 years researching personal strivings.12 Emmons and his colleagues developed a system for coding goal content into 12 thematic content areas and have conducted research showing that goals with themes associated with intimacy (e.g., “Try to be a good listener”), spirituality (e.g., “Appreciate God’s creations”), and generativity (e.g., “Be a good role model”) were positively associated with greater happiness, while those related to power (e.g., “Convince others I am right”) actually worked counter to personal happiness. This finding presents an interesting challenge for coaches working with clients to set goals: How are we to deal with clients who have power-themed goals, when we know these are likely to cause long-term relational problems, and ultimately lead to dissatisfaction? One possible approach to this sticky problem is to ask clients for permission to share this research. We suggest sharing the research in a nonjudgmental way, one that allows for a productive conversation about the relative merits and drawbacks of power themed goals. In this way, coaches are encouraged to 67

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look at the positive aspects of the goal while cautioning the client about the potential hazards. Point 2: Certain goals, such as those related to intimacy, spirituality, and generativity, lead to happiness while others, such as power-related goals, do not.

GOAL MOTIVATION

Another way to look at goals, according to Emmons and other positive psychology researchers, is in terms of “Goal motivation.”13 These insightful scientists point out that ultimate success is not just a matter of what we want, but why we want it. The forces that motivate our desire to buy milk, pursue a PhD, or make 10 cold calls can heavily influence how we feel about the goal as well as the outcome. For those of us willing to take an honest look at ourselves, our daily motives range from the high and mighty to the petty, from a deeply personal passion to pressures from society. Sometimes we are moved to make extraordinary sacrifices to help others, and at other times we feel like fighting for a parking spot to save ourselves a short walk to the store. Sometimes we take up a musical instrument to fulfill a longstanding personal wish while at other times we buy a new mobile phone because it is a socially “hot” item. Researchers tend to think about goal motivation as being either intrinsic or extrinsic.14 Intrinsic goals are those that are inherently satisfying, such as working at a job because it is challenging, enjoyable, and seems to make a viable contribution to society. Extrinsic goals, on the other hand, are those that are in the service of some external reward, such as working in a job only because it pays well. Results from research conducted by psychologists Kennon Sheldon and Tim Kasser show that intrinsically motivated goals are positively associated with feelings of subjective wellbeing.15 This could be because they are more highly valued, more personally rewarding, or provide feelings of growth and auton68

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omy. Extrinsic motivators such as popularity, physical attractiveness, and money, on the other hand, have been found to be more frequently accompanied by anxiety, and interpersonal problems. Sheldon and Kasser caution us that extrinsic motives often are associated with competition and control that can contribute to stress. Unfortunately, we do not live in a world where everyone is privileged or insightful enough to pursue only those goals that are inherently satisfying. There are a wide variety of reasons—societal and parental expectations, misguided assumptions, predictions about our future quality of life—that we sometimes pursue extrinsic goals. The truth is fame, riches, power, and good looks are at least mildly attractive outcomes to most people. Who wouldn’t want a bit more disposable income, to lose a little weight, or to have influence over others? What’s more, people tend to view these goals less as outcomes but as resources by which they can achieve more of the things they “really want.” The problem is, by valuing money, good looks, and other extrinsically motivated goals, people ultimately replace the things they “really want” with these more shallow goals. One productive way to address this problem with your clients is to encourage them to carry out a “goal chain” to its final conclusion. That is, use the session to find out what the client wants at the most fundamental level. What would good looks be in service of, or what might money be spent on? Helping clients to articulate these more positive goals can sometimes be a breakthrough in setting them up for personal success and lasting fulfillment. Point 3: Goals that are chosen because they are inherently satisfying are more likely to have a larger payoff, in terms of happiness, than those that are chosen because they serve other needs.

Tip 2: Extrinsic goals are often viewed as resources by which one can achieve desirable outcomes. It is possible to use a “goal chain” with clients to look at ways to achieve these same outcomes through intrinsically motivated goals.

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Psychologist Frederick Grouzet, of the University of Ottawa, and his research team examined both the content and motivation of goals across cultures to see whether these lofty psychological theories translated to the real world. In their study, the researchers analyzed 11 different types of goals among nearly two thousand participants from 15 different cultures.16 The researchers were interested in learning what outcomes people usually strive toward and how these goals are organized psychologically. Interestingly, Frederick Grouzet and his colleagues found that not only do people from all over the world strive toward the same types of things (health, more money, strong family unity, etc.), but that they also mentally organize their goals in largely the same ways. Figure 3.1 illustrates the two major dimensions by which people think about

Self-transcendence Spirituality

Conformity

Community

Popularity Image

Affiliation

Extrinsic

Intrinsic

Self-acceptance

Financial success

Safety

Physical health

Hedonism

Physical self

Figure 3.1 Two-dimentional representation of the goals resulting from multidimensional scaling analysis for all samples. Source: “The Structure of Goal Contents across 15 Cultures,” by F. R. Grouzet, 2005, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 89(5), p. 808. Reprinted with permission.

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their goals: goal content and goal motivation. This circumplex can be useful in working with clients on life balance, goal setting, or charting progress. GOAL CONFLICT

Because goals are inherently tied to values and because people tend to hold many values dear, an individual’s goals sometimes are at odds with one another. A woman who values being a good mother will likely set goals around reading to her children, preparing healthful meals, and participating in local play groups. But the woman may also value being a competent professional and want to spend time at the office with coworkers, or thinking about professional projects. There is potential for these two sets of goals to collide. Robert Emmons and Laura King found that goal conflict is related to somatic complaints such as headaches and stomachaches as well as stress.17 This probably fits well with your own experience. Chances are those unpleasant times when you felt torn between goals were periods of stress, sleepless nights, and perhaps illness. More discouraging still, Emmons and King found that goal conflict and ambivalence resulted in the goals being less likely to be acted on but more likely to be thought about. In simple terms, this means that goal conflict can be particularly psychologically toxic because people end up dwelling on the problem and forgetting to act on a solution. Most coaches have dealt with ambivalence and other forms of goal conflict. Frequently, coaches explore client values that underlie goals, encourage clients to draw up cost-benefit charts, or use written assessments to generate forward momentum. Clients who are wrestling with internal goal conflict may feel “stuck,” in large part because they are deepening their rut with rumination and anxious thinking. Many people get caught in the common trap of believing they can think their way out of goal conflict, when too much thinking may be implicated as part of the problem. Research in positive psychology suggests a two-pronged solution to the problem of goal 71

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conflict: stop all the thinking and start acting. When working with goal conflict, consider encouraging your client to take a holiday from his conflict for a day or two. As long as no pressing deadlines for making a decision are looming, a 1-day break may be an easy sell. In addition, see if you can get your client to commit to some small action when he returns from his “stress holiday,” such as interviewing someone who has faced a similar dilemma or writing a paragraph on what the goal would look like in a perfect world. In our experience as coaches, helping a client shift his focus from thinking about how to solve the problem to acting on the problem can feel empowering and kick-start forward momentum. GOAL ANXIETY

Although evidence points to goals as being an important force for creating meaning and structure in our lives, there is a hidden downside as well. Most coaches will be familiar with the experience of the client who panics as goals are set and committed to. This phenomenon is what psychologist Eva Pomerantz and her colleagues refer to as the “psychological trade-off of goal investment.”18 According to Pomerantz, investing heavily in goals can promote good feelings as well as create anxiety. How then, do we deal with this emotional double standard, in which goals can feel either good or bad? Fortunately, Pomerantz and her colleagues have taken a close look at the role of anxiety in goals, and their research offers insights that might be useful to coaches. In two studies (one of children, the other of adults), Pomerantz found that “perceived accomplishment,” that is, feelings of progress toward or actually attaining a goal, led to positive emotions and helped protect against worry. Alternatively, “failure impact predictions,” that is, believing that failing to achieve the goal will be emotionally upsetting, produced anxiety. This means that the more heavily people invest in the goals, the more they are likely to succeed, whereas the more consciously they consider failing at the goal, the more likely they are to worry. 72

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As coaches, we are faced with the proposition that we may actually encourage, sometimes unwittingly, increased anxiety in our clients. It is important for coaches to be aware of their own emotional prejudices and leanings. Are you the kind of person who wants your client to feel satisfied? How much anxiety, or other negative emotions, are you comfortable with? How much do you accept responsibility when your client makes a decision based on a meeting with you, and then experiences some negative emotional fallout? To some extent, the anxiety that can accompany goals is productive because it can help motivate individuals. In fact, negative emotions are natural, and can be useful both as motivators and as feedback about the success or desirability of our behaviors. As coaches, we may be at our best when we expect, and accept, the mild anxiety that typically accompanies goals. Point 4: It is natural, and even helpful, for clients to experience mild anxiety around their most dearly held goals.

Our services as coaches frequently revolve around discussions of goals. We help clients articulate goals that they can commit to and work toward, we seek to keep them motivated, and we help them negotiate those sticky times when there is conflict between goals. Coaches who have a sophisticated framework for understanding goals—who can see the function of goals, understand the architecture of good goals, and who are aware of differences in goal content and motivation—are able to offer a broader array of tools and services to their clients. In the end, Ken Sheldon offers the following advice for healthy goals: Strive for enjoyable goals, develop both short- and long-term goals, seek out goals you value, consider changing your goals if they are not working, and don’t focus overly much on ego-gratification goals such as popularity or material objects.19 Although, upon reflection, these insights might seem obvious, it is all too easy to forget them. They are important 73

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enough to post in your home or office, and we encourage you to have your clients do the same.

SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS Relationships with family members, friends, and colleagues can heavily influence your happiness. Anyone who has parented a teenager, or can remember their own adolescence, probably recalls the arguments and conversations about hanging out with “the right crowd of people.” Just as parents intuitively recognize that social ties are important, the results from studies on happiness have shown that having good relationships is vital to emotional well-being.20 This probably resonates in your own life: The times you had difficulty with a spouse, or supported your friend through a tough patch, were probably difficult for you. Similarly, those blissful periods of domestic peace or synchronicity on the job were likely happy times. Relationships, as it turns out, are more important than simply having someone to go to a movie with, a sexual partner, or enough folks to play hearts. Humans have a very basic need to belong to groups, interact with others, and start families. Evidence for the importance of relationships can be seen in many places. For example, our primate cousins form family groups (chimpanzees) or live in large troops (baboons). Similarly, the classic “wire monkey” studies by Harry Harlow, in which the University of Wisconsin researcher placed baby rhesus monkeys in a cage with a fur and wire “mother” showed that physical touch, affection, and interpersonal interaction are necessary for flourishing.21 Alternatively, solitary confinement, banishment, and shunning are among the most extreme social sanctions available for people who act out against society. Testimonies from prisoners who have endured isolation, such as Jack Henry Abbott, author of In the Belly of the Beast, describe the unpleasant experience of being cut off from others.22 Just how important are relationships to happiness? Ed Diener and Martin Seligman conducted a study of the most and least 74

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happy people, those who scored at the top and bottom, respectively, of a widely used measure of happiness.23 The researchers discovered that the single unifying factor—the trait that the happy group had in common, and on which they differed from the unhappy group—was close, trusting relationships. Why might relationships outpace intelligence, income, or educational status where happiness is concerned? Humans are social animals and friends, family, and romantic partners can give us a needed sense of security and belonging. This idea is supported by psychologists Roy Baumeister and Mark Leary, who reviewed the research on the “need to belong” and concluded, “Lack of attachments is linked to a variety of ill-effects on health, adjustment, and wellbeing.”24 It is helpful to know that we can rely on our family in times of need, depend on our friends for fun and support, and be accepted by the various groups we belong to. Feelings of belongingness provide an important psychological safety net that allows us to take risks and pay attention to work and other concerns. Diener and Seligman’s study of the happiest people suggests that, although good relationships, by themselves, may not be sufficient to guarantee happiness, achieving emotional Shangri-la is difficult in the absence of good relationships. Similarly, one of the authors of this book (RBD) has found social relationships are powerful influences on happiness among even the poorest citizens of the world. In two studies, Biswas-Diener and collaborator Ed Diener examined the life satisfaction of prostitutes, homeless people, and folks living in the slums of Calcutta.25 These are people who live in substandard conditions, without access to adequate healthcare, hygiene, employment, and who frequently have to beg or forage for daily meals. The researchers produced some fascinating results: the impoverished people were not flourishing, but nor were they miserable. It turns out that good social relationships and healthy bonds with family members are actually able to partially ward off the negative psychological effects of dire poverty. This is consistent with the notion that life circumstances are less important to personal fulfillment than personal 75

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choices, including relationships. In fact, Biswas-Diener and Diener found that although the research participants complained about health problems and a lack of income, they were largely satisfied with their social relationships. Because of the extreme conditions in which the participants lived, these studies show the dramatic power of maintaining positive social bonds. Although most people take little convincing to invest in friends and loved ones, the common wisdom around relationships is sometimes wrong. Typically, people think about friendships as a commodity like money, for which the maxim “the more the better” rings true. But, beyond a certain point—some lower threshold of friendship—additional friends may not matter much in terms of their psychological benefits. In economic terms, this is called “diminishing marginal utility” and means that more of a thing ceases to produce an effect. Having nine close friends, for instance, may not be any more helpful than having five trusting relationships. This is an important realization because it is suggestive of how we best allocate our resources. Friendships, as with all interpersonal connections, require a degree of ongoing maintenance in the form of occasional positive interactions. But the more friends and acquaintances a person has, the more her time and energy will be spread thin by phone calls, lunch dates, e-mails, and holiday cards. Perhaps counterintuitively, most of us do not need to seek out any more friends than we already have. The topic of social relationships often crops up in coaching sessions. Whether your clients are complaining about a boss, looking for an inspiring collaborator, or trying to balance work with family life, social concerns are a large part of everyone’s life. How might you best use the positive psychology research on relationships to your clients’ advantage? There are, fortunately, a variety of ways to do so. Discussing the importance of relationships, the role of maintenance activities, and the prospect of diminishing marginal utility are good places to start. In addition, it is possible that your clients overlook many of the most rewarding relationships available to them: helping relationships. When people 76

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help—whether they volunteer their time, donate money to a worthy cause, or mentor a student—this work frequently translates to large gains in happiness.26 Helping others makes us feel good, and tends to promote our sense of worth and competence. Nowhere is this more clear than in the case of our own children. For those clients who are tempted to throw themselves into their work (and who isn’t tempted at one time or another), it can be helpful to carve out “protected time” with children and other family members. A growing number of studies show that being a materialist, putting heavy stock in comfort and money, runs counter to happiness.27 In fact, one of the most toxic aspects of materialistic values, psychologically speaking, is that monetary, luxury, and work goals can steal time and attention away from other worthwhile pursuits, such as nurturing relationships. This is particularly important at the office. The well-known organizational psychologist, Jane Dutton, at the University of Michigan, has written about the power of relationships at work.28 Dutton makes the insightful point that organizations depend not only on the quality of their members for success but on the quality of the interactions between members—whether they be advisory boards, work groups, supervisor-supervisee, or office mates. High-quality relationships are marked by being able to handle a small amount of conflict, by being resilient, open, feeling positive (alive or exciting), and feelings that the relationship is mutual. We have all experienced these types of relationships, perhaps with a study partner in graduate school, a coworker, or a mentor. Highquality relationships can foster feelings of personal growth, creativity, and inspiration. These personal connections keep us enthusiastic about our current projects and motivate us to develop new ones. What’s more, high-quality connections are not necessarily a matter of random chance. Your client’s workplace is more than just a social crapshoot, full of either good people or bad depending on some cosmic roll of the dice. Instead, relationships require development and maintenance. It is possible to coach clients 77

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through the process of meeting and connecting with coworkers, identifying those who offer a good social fit, and tending to the relationship in ways that will be beneficial for both parties. Helping clients see such connections as opportunities to benefit from a new point of view, learn new things, access new skills and talents, and generate new ideas helps motivate them to invest their energies in this very worthwhile cause.

THINKING STYLE Perhaps the area of personal control that has received the most research, and certainly the most popular attention is positive thinking. For decades, clinical psychology researchers have been looking at thinking habits as fertile ground for interventions. For just as long, increasing numbers of self-help books addressing the power of positive thinking have been lining the shelves at bookstores. The benefits of optimistic thinking are more than a matter of faddish trends in pop psychology; positive thinking strategies have gained support from well-designed research.29 Many studies, therapy case examples, and anecdotal evidence all point to the same conclusion: People can get into the habit of “thinking happy.” Positive thinking is about the mental yoga required to see the glass half full instead of half empty. We all know people who consistently see the bright side of life, as well as those who are given to self-criticism. The truth is, much of a person’s psychological outlook is the result of the mental habits he has learned and employed in interpreting the events of his life. Happy people, for instance, tend to take responsibility for their successes.30 They relish their achievements. “I deserved this promotion,” they say after hearing the good news. More pessimistic individuals, on the other hand, tend to avoid taking personal responsibility for achievements. “Boy, I really lucked out,” they might muse, shifting the responsibility for their job offer or other success to random chance. Fortunately, cognitive therapists and other experts on “self-talk” have made impressive gains in teaching people how 78

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to adopt and integrate more positive thinking habits. Because this topic has been reported on so extensively elsewhere, we have chosen to discuss it in less depth here. We suggest further reading on this topic at the end of this chapter. Despite the widespread attention to positive thinking, this can be a productive area for work with coaching clients. Much of the discouragement, optimism, excitement, and complaints that creep up during sessions can be directly tied to hidden thought processes. Most people, for example, make unconscious attributions about the cause of successes and failures. If a person lands a large new account for the firm, for example, she might acknowledge the support of her teammates, relish her own outstanding performance, or focus on how she might have done even better. Research on cognitive styles, conducted by Martin Seligman, shows that people differ in their thinking habits: Some folks have healthy, happy styles while others tend to beat themselves up or dwell on negatives.31 We deal with four common thinking biases here, all of which can be controlled, and all of which impact emotional well-being: 1. Perfectionism: It may be an occupational hazard that coaches invariably cross paths with perfectionists. Whether you are a life coach or an executive coach, chances are you deal with people who are motivated, hard-working, excited by progress, and eager to explore new ideas. Coaching clients are, in the end, driven individuals who are (at least ideally) interested in self-growth. There is, however, a frequent dark side to the kind of high achievement many of your clients have experienced: high standards. Frequently, coaches deal with folks who set the professional and personal bar high and expect success. While there is much to be admired in this attitude, it can be counterproductive if it is inflexible. Take a moment to consider a client you have worked with who succumbed to the temptations of perfectionist thinking. Perhaps he strove to be the best performer at work. Maybe 79

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he wanted to be among the top ranks in every athletic competition he entered. It is likely that along the way he was surprised, and hurt, by inevitable failure, or even dissatisfied with second place. Perfectionists are folks who see second place as “not first place” rather than as outperforming everyone else except one other person. This thinking style can lead to beating up on yourself mentally, nursing psychological wounds, and developing a competitive spirit that is offputting to others. It can be invaluable to remind your client that there is a fine, but important, distinction between perfection and excellence. Everyone wants success but only perfectionists want perfection. In working with clients of this type, it can be helpful to bear in mind that perfection is simply an internal standard for evaluation. Therefore, it may be useful to explore some other possible gauges for success with your client. Consider past performance as a way of encouraging clients to compete against themselves, rather than those with whom they must maintain positive relationships. Consider articulating a definition for “excellence” in a given instance, so there is a clear criterion for success. Consider exploring the gap between your client’s aspirations and chances for success, with the knowledge that the smaller this space is, the happier your client will likely be. 2. Distress tolerance: Most of us would like to think of ourselves as psychologically tough. That is, we would like to think that we could endure a loss or persevere through a hardship. In fact, the research on resilience shows that folks are surprising capable of bouncing back from difficult events. It is surprising then, that many people consistently underestimate their ability to cope with life’s setbacks. Although sometimes it is difficult to admit we often carry an implicit message of “I couldn’t stand it” “that would be too much for me” or “I am afraid that would be the last straw.” In some cases, these

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fears—natural and understandable in each instance—hold clients back from taking risks, making changes, or picking up where they have failed in the past. The psychotherapist Albert Ellis, one of the founding fathers of cognitive therapy, became famous for his often tough stance with clients. When confronted with the prospect of divorce, a poor evaluation at work, losing money, or other emotional hardships, many of Ellis’ clients would make the case that they were simply incapable of withstanding the emotional pain that invariably accompanies life’s failures.32 The hidden self-talk in every case amounted to “I won’t be able to stand the sense of loss, frustration, sadness, embarrassment, or failure.” Ellis, who is currently 93 and renowned for his vitality and energy, does not let his clients get away easily with such negative attitudes. “What will happen to you?” Ellis might challenge a client who had a self-defeating attitude by asking, “Will you die? Will you be sad for the rest of your life without hope of recovery? How could it be possible that you cannot withstand some negative feeling?” Although Ellis’ methods may be more confrontational than you are comfortable with in your coaching practice, his underlying message is as true for your clients as his. People, including coaching clients, have the bad habit of shortchanging their ability to endure failure and bounce back from hardships. In fact, if anything is certain, it is that your clients have already experienced a failure somewhere in their lives and flourished afterward. Perhaps they had a tough time in grade school, or maybe they have trials at work. The smart money is on your clients ignoring their past experiences of overcoming hardships and emphasizing the potential psychological costs of failure. This is a natural tendency, and one that no one ought to be criticized for. Nobel prize-winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman has shown that potential losses, whether financial,

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personal, or at work, tend to loom larger in the mind’s eye than do potential gains.33 This phenomenon is known as “loss aversion,” and impacts people’s decisions in dramatic ways. It may be helpful to create a timeline with your client, in which you examine a negative consequence (failure) over the long-term. Clients (and everyone else) have a troubling habit of focusing on the immediate, worst emotional reactions to failure or hardship. It can be enlightening to ask about these unpleasant emotions 2 months, 6 months, and 1 year down the road. Even folks who suffer through ugly divorces tend to feel better a year after the event. Your clients can tolerate more hardship, pain, and frustration than they are aware of. In fact, they already have experience doing just that. Further, it is likely that many of the examples of setbacks or problems they have faced, they now remember as important learning moments, pivot points, or as the source of wisdom. Clients who buy into the adage “whatever doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” will draw additional reassurance from the knowledge that the vast majority of life’s troubles—whether it is being laid off, getting divorced, or losing money—will not kill them. 3. Black-and-white thinking: The rapid advances in computer technology that we experienced in the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s, carried over into overlooked areas of our daily lives. New computer chips that understood “fuzzy logic” were the driving force behind many household appliances. For the first time, dryers could sense the moisture in towels and adjust their cycles accordingly. Similarly, vacuum cleaners could adapt their suction to both the height of a carpet and the amount of dirt on the floor. Windshield wipers could match changes in rainfall and dining room lights could dim into dark after dinner ended. With all the breakthroughs in grey-area thinking in technology, it is a bit ironic that most people are still highly susceptible to black-and-white thinking.

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This thinking habit, familiar to most folks, is the tendency to believe that either one case or its opposite is true, while overlooking the middle ground. This common cognitive fallacy may be the result of Western logic, in which we tend to categorize things into distinct groups and think in either/or patterns. Typically, Westerners have difficulty thinking about the concept of a partial win, a moderate success, or a goal that is both promising and discouraging. These types of ideas fly in the face of our cultural standards and implicit understanding of how things work. How many times have you experienced a client who juxtaposes success and failure or stagnation with progress. Perhaps you think of these things in dichotomous terms yourself. Although it can take effort, breaking out of black-andwhite thinking habits is possible. The truth is life is far more complex than either/or dichotomies suggest, and this type of thinking functions mostly to simplify information and leave it in a clear, easy-to-understand and use format. The downside of this natural thinking tendency is that we can oversimplify things. This is a particular danger in those instances when our minds trick us into rigidly holding on to our simplifications. But step back and take a deep breath: A closer inspection shows there are typically far more shades of grey to the events of our lives. Learning to loosen up, cognitively speaking, can feel like an enormous weight being lifted from your shoulders. 4. Chronically happy thinking: What about the habits of those lucky souls who are routinely happy. We do not mean naïve people who are unaware, or unwilling to acknowledge, the many pitfalls and wrongs in the world. Instead, we are talking about those people who seem to psychologically plumb life for all it is worth, and who bounce back strongly from misfortune. How do these folks think about their lives? And, perhaps, more importantly, are their private mental habits

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second nature, or are they conscious? While it is true that positivity comes more naturally to some folks than others, positive thinking can also be an acquired habit, just as working out at the gym is. Psychologist Carol Ryff describes happy thinking as effortful, a conscious effort to seek out the positive, even as one nods in acknowledgment to the inevitable negatives. “Well-being in this sense,” she told us in a recent interview, “is living with your eyes open.” Part of happy thinking has to do with where attention is focused. Personal wins, compliments and encouragement, and strokes of good fortune can only be savored if we are aware of them. People who are vigilant for praise, success, and inspiration tend to find it. Folks who take the time to savor accomplishments tend to feel good about their past while hoping for the best in the future.34 Taking time to look for and appreciate the shiny side of life can be a powerful tool for your clients to use to stay inspired, energetic, and motivated. Another aspect of happy thinking concerns thinking about the future. Having an upbeat outlook can be an important predictor of future success.35 Folks who believe that things will get better down the road, who trust that they will succeed, and who hope for the best tend to be able to maintain motivation better than do sourpusses. Being optimistic about the future turns out to be a major personal asset. Just consider your clients who have been stuck, dejected, or worried. Chances are, they froze up and were miserable on the job, and not much better at home. Increasing hope can be a powerful tool to move clients forward. Ironically, people in a good mood are more likely to look favorably on the future just as folks who are hopeful are more likely to be in a good mood.

CONCLUSION In the end, there is much more to happiness than meets the eye. Happiness is not the absence of sadness, nor is it the soaring emo84

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tional heights of ecstasy. Instead, happiness is much simpler: It is mildly pleasant, common but not permanent, and includes some (but not complete) satisfaction with most (but not all) aspects of life. What’s more, happiness may be a birthright of kinds, wherein most of us are naturally mildly happy, and adapt back to this state even in the face of new life circumstances. Finally, happiness is not caused by a single thing, but rather is influenced by a variety of variables ranging from personal values to individual genetics. Perhaps most importantly, happiness is, in large part, a matter of good choices under the personal control of you and your clients. By understanding the aspects of personality that are relatively difficult to change, such as attention to details, extroversion, and musical ability, you can steer your clients away from time-wasting dead ends and direct them toward more productive areas of work. Where happiness is concerned, these include developing healthy goals, maintaining good relationships, and engaging in positive thinking habits.

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ACTION STEPS FOR POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY COACHES 1. Consider your own goals. Take time to evaluate them in terms of their relevance to your resources, their approach/ avoidance orientation, and the degree to which they are extrinsically or intrinsically motivated. Also take time to consider how much you have invested in a particular goal in the past, and examine when you experienced setbacks in working toward that goal. How did you react to the setback? Did you take time off from the goal? Throw additional resources at the goal? Revise the goal? Think about how to apply these insights from your own life to your coaching sessions. 2. Consider a structured format for working with your clients around goals. Will you use the idea of matching goals and resources based on their relevance? How might you discuss the idea that goals might be intrinsically or extrinsically motivated with your clients? What additional questions related to goal orientation (approach/avoidance) might you add to your goal-focused interviews? 3. Consider the anxiety that often accompanies striving toward a goal. How much of your client’s anxiety might be a natural by-product of investing heavily in a meaningful outcome, and how much might be a symptom of rumination? How might you assess and address your client’s anxiety across various stages of goal development and achievement? What is the effect of anxiety on your client? How much can she tolerate before feeling burdened or stuck? 4. How might you work with your clients around social connections? Consider activities aimed at taking stock of client social resources. Perhaps they could list those people who they are closest to, both on the job and off. What do these people offer in terms of fun, support, like-mindedness, challenge, or opportunity? How might you use role-plays with your clients to coach them through relationship introductions, problems, and maintenance?

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5. How might you work with your clients around positive thinking? Will they give you permission to challenge them when you hear perfectionism or black-and-white thinking? Consider exploring with your clients how their current thinking is helping or hindering them. How might you use the research showing that revising thinking is a relatively easy habit to master and is clearly beneficial to sell your clients on the idea of addressing this area?

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FURTHER READING Kasser, T. (2002). The high price of materialism. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press. A review of the scientific research showing that materialistic goals and desires are toxic to personal well-being. Schmuck, P., & Sheldon, K. (2001). Life goals and well-being: Toward a positive psychology of human striving. Seattle, WA: Hogrefe & Huber. A collection of research articles showing the link between goals and life satisfaction, with an emphasis on those goals that most likely promote happiness. Seligman, M. E. P. (1998). Learned optimism: How to change your mind and your life. New York: Free Press. A modern classic guide on how to change your thinking for lasting positivity.

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CHAPTER FOUR


Randy is a 36-year-old freelance consultant for the electronics industry. Although he is bright and hardworking, and although business has been relatively good for him over the past couple years, the arrival of Randy’s baby daughter changed his outlook on life. He began wanting more financial security than his freelance work afforded him. He began to think more seriously about the job offers from Japanese companies that occasionally came his way. Three months after his daughter’s birth, Randy decided to take down his shingle and attend an interview for a fairly prestigious job with a well-known company. He was nervous about the interview and hired a coach to help him with the process. Along with the usual approaches, such as predicting likely interview questions and prepping solid answers, Randy’s coach worked with him to develop a “positivity portfolio.” Randy spent weeks compiling the material for this portfolio and carried it with him into Manhattan, where his interview was to take place. At lunch, in the hours just before the interview, Randy opened the portfolio and perused its contents. 89

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Inside was, among other positive mementos, a copy of his profit sheet, a copy of his Yale diploma, a letter of encouragement from his wife, and a printout of an e-mail from a highly respected executive thanking him for the outstanding work he had performed for the man’s company just a year earlier. While other applicants might have been reviewing their interview strategy, practicing their answers, or double checking their appearance in a mirror, Randy used his positivity portfolio to boost his confidence. He reviewed his past achievements and replayed the reasons why he was perfect for the job. Not only did the portfolio make the nervous hours before the interview more tolerable, it helped shift Randy’s mindset to a can-do approach that eventually won him the position. What if everyone had a bag of tricks like Randy’s, a few simple actions they could employ to solve life’s daily problems? The million dollar question for coaches and clients alike is “what can I do to make life better?” It is natural to wonder how you can function at your absolute best, how you can feel engaged in your daily activities, and how you can achieve lasting happiness. Chances are, your clients are mulling over the same issues. Whether they are high-powered executives, visionary entrepreneurs, or dissatisfied at mid-career, your clients have employed you—at least implicitly—because they realize that life is just too short, and can be too sweet, to live in a second-rate way. Everything you can do to provide your client with motivation, opportunities for growth, and positive feelings will ultimately benefit both of you. Your client will see tangible positive changes in her life, and you will profit from another successful professional relationship. People have argued over the proper route to happiness throughout history. Philosophers, clergy, and lay folks alike have all entered the debate on how best to seek personal fulfillment. Some people advocate prayer, meditation, and other forms of mindfulness. Others healthy diet and frequent exercise to promote energy and wellbeing. Some see the secret to happiness in personal ambition, and others glimpse it in a life of service to others. We are fortunate to live at a time when unprecedented attention is being given to the 90

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question of happiness, and how best to get it. The past 3 decades have seen enormous advances in our understanding of what happiness is, which factors predict happiness, biological and neural correlates of happiness, and—recently—bona fide happiness interventions. Researchers in positive psychology have actually tested interventions aimed at increasing and sustaining individual happiness and have produced some encouraging findings. The path to happiness no longer needs to be a matter for cocktail party arguments, admonishments from the pulpit, or forceful letters to the editor. Personal opinions on achieving emotional well-being can now be put on the conversational back burner as increasing numbers of scientific studies offer empirical suggestions for becoming happier. Researchers have found a relationship between happiness and guided imagery, positive thinking, and other easy to use tools. As a coach, the fact that you can now offer happiness related interventions to your clients that have undergone scientific scrutiny should increase your confidence in your services as well as your appeal to your clients. Empirically validated interventions from the new science of positive psychology are a selling point for businesses and customers wanting to receive the highest quality and most cutting-edge coaching services. We should pause here, briefly, to consider the language of happiness research, and how clients might perceive this area of positive psychology. Historically, the word “happiness” has been associated with naiveté, hedonism, intellectual simplicity, and generally being out of touch with the real world. Happiness is often perceived as an elusive passing emotion, and as an unimportant concern. As a coach, you can expect this same prejudice in organizations and clients. Happiness is a word and topic that is often seen as too light and new-agey to be taken seriously. Sandra Foster, a leadership development consultant at Korn/Ferry International, the world’s largest executive search firm, and who uses positive psychology in some of her trainings, recommends translating happiness and other positive psychology content into language that clients will understand and accept.1 So, instead of 91

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trying to promote “perseverance” with you client, perhaps you could couch your work in terms of “sustained cold calling capacity.” While such phrases might sound strange to outsiders, professional jargon can enhance easy communication for those who know the language. Where happiness is concerned, we encourage you to focus on the happiness-related outcomes that are important to your clients. Therefore, instead of talking about “happiness,” you might consider discussing engagement, optimal functioning, increased productivity, sales resilience, emotional capability, or positive relationship management. Tip 1: Study your marketplace. What is the language your clients use to describe their own challenges and solutions? Tailor the language of your sales pitches and interventions to words and concepts that will appeal to your clients.

More skeptical readers might wonder whether their clients actually want to feel happier. It is a fair question, and one worth considering. In many cases, clients will not articulate their goals for individual sessions or coaching in general in terms of happiness. They will not enter into coaching explicitly seeking more happiness, nor will they always tie their gains and wins directly to happiness. However, all coaching involves an implicit component of increasing client well-being. In fact, positive psychology researchers have shown that people around the world rank the importance of being happy as highly as they do falling in love, making money, and getting into heaven.2 This view is supported not only by our experience working with a wide range of clients but also by positive psychology research by psychologist Chris Peterson and his colleagues showing that not only do many people want to be happy, they endorse multiple routes of achieving happiness including through pleasure, engagement, and meaning in life. Peterson terms this worldview “the full life,” and those who adopt this orientation are more likely to be satisfied with their lives.3 92

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An important question about happiness remains: Should we be happier? Reluctant clients, uncertain organizations, and skeptics may need some convincing before they are ready to invest too many resources in following the white rabbit down this particular hole. “Isn’t happiness fleeting?” they might ask. Or, “What good is happiness?” Fortunately, positive psychology researchers are able to answer these questions in an unprecedented fashion. The data are in: Happiness is decidedly beneficial, at home and at work. Dozens of studies using a variety of methods have shown that feeling positive emotions is associated with having better relationships, participating in more social activities, being liked better by coworkers, receiving better customer and supervisor evaluations, making more money, helping others more, enjoying better health, better coping, increased creativity, and even survival.4 There are unambiguous benefits in multiple domains of life for those who feel engaged and satisfied. For anyone presented with the mountain of evidence showing that happiness is good for them, the question of whether to increase it ought to be a no-brainer. A better question for such individuals is: Where do I start? Tip 2: You can use the research on the benefits of positive emotion to help sell your services. You can highlight the fact that happiness leads to greater health and income, as well as a host of work-related benefits such as taking fewer sick days and receiving higher customer ratings.

Common sense and past experience have already suggested several possible routes to happiness. For example, some folks find that going to the gym in the morning seems to keep their stress at bay and provide physical energy for the day. Other people look to Christmas bonuses and paychecks for a boost of happiness, with the idea that additional dollars will translate to a new digital camera, a weekend getaway, or a remodeled kitchen. People have long focused on life circumstances when attempting to attain lasting 93

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well-being. Common wisdom suggests that just the right combination of circumstances—a good marriage, a nice home in a safe neighborhood, a usable education, church attendance, and a secure income—will maximize our chances for happiness. Unfortunately, life circumstances have been shown to make up only a small portion of happiness.5 Even though religiosity, income, and marriage are all predictors of happiness, their overall contribution to subjective well-being is limited. Not only that, but life circumstances are often difficult to control. To change the quality of a marriage, the security of a neighborhood, your annual salary, or your level of education is not an easy task. Typically, to effect change in one of these areas is a slow process that occurs in small increments and with heavy investment of time, energy, and other personal resources. In the end, focusing on life circumstances as a springboard to happiness is often a matter of too heavy an investment for too little return. Tip 3: Beware of the temptation to focus on changing your life circumstances to enhance happiness. Typically, changing circumstances requires a heavy investment of resources with no guarantee of success, and results in little net happiness. Instead, help your clients focus on small, everyday activities in their pursuit of happiness.

Where, then, should you and your clients look in your search to promote well-being? Psychologists Ken Sheldon and Sonja Lyubomirsky suggest that everyday activities, those behaviors we have direct personal control over, are the best place to begin.6 While it is relatively tough to change our nationality, and currently impossible to change our genetic make-up, it is a simple matter to modify our daily routines and practices. Even small changes, such as parking in a new garage and walking to work by a different route, can add a subtle touch of novelty to our day, and help break us out of the behavioral ruts we commonly carve for ourselves. 94

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It is here, on small behaviors that are a matter of choice and which can easily become habit, that researchers have looked when testing happiness interventions. For years now, scientists studying topics in positive psychology have seen a link between their fields, such as personal goals, and satisfaction. Taking the next logical step, these researchers have played with and tested behaviors that might increase happiness. In this chapter, we discuss interventions that have received attention and support from positive psychology researchers. This is not to say, of course, that all of these interventions will work with every client in every situation. Instead, we have chosen those interventions that have been tested in a rigorous scientific way, and have been shown to be effective during these trials. Ultimately, it is up to you to exercise careful judgment and work in tandem with your clients to choose coaching strategies that will fit best with the work you do. The list of empirically validated happiness interventions is growing rapidly, and we encourage readers to keep up with developments in this field by joining the positive psychology listserv (www.ppc .sas.upenn.edu/listservsignup.htm), visiting the positive psychology web site (www.ppc.sas.upenn.edu), and subscribing to leading journals such as the Journal of Happiness Studies and the Journal of Positive Psychology. We cannot recommend highly enough that you stay abreast of the exciting new developments in positive psychology. By updating your knowledge of cutting-edge research, assessments, and interventions, you give yourself both a competitive advantage and an opportunity to stay excited about your work. A number of the newest interventions are discussed in the following section.

EMPIRICALLY VALIDATED HAPPINESS INTERVENTIONS QUALITY OF LIFE THERAPY

Don’t let the word “therapy” in the title of this new application of positive psychology fool you. Quality of Life Therapy (QOLT) 95

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involves more than a bunch of stodgy psychoanalysts listening empathically and curing folks of Freudian neuroticism. It is a dynamic and sophisticated new way to approach working on personal problems, clinical or otherwise. For most of a century, psychotherapists have been working with people to solve problems, cope with overpowering emotions, and carve out better lives. Although many therapists work with profound problems such as chronic depression or schizophrenia, there are quite a few who work with everyday problems that all of us can relate to: fear over a new job, uncertainty about moving to a new city, sadness over a setback at work, worry about balancing family with work, and marital difficulties. While you and your clients are probably mentally healthy folks who suffer no more than normal bouts of sadness, worry, and disappointment, there is still much to be learned from this bold new approach. Encouraged by the scientific breakthroughs of positive psychology, Baylor University psychologist Michael Frisch created QOLT.7 Although his background is in counseling people, Frisch’s approach to the work is surprisingly applicable to coaching. Frisch’s approach to the work looks a lot like coaching: Frisch thinks of QOLT as a personal growth enterprise, as applicable to top executives as it is to clients wrestling with depression. At its heart, QOLT is about much more than alleviating symptoms of depression or anxiety, it is about helping folks move toward optimal functioning. He reports that his system is aimed at increasing happiness through the development of “inner abundance,” and has shared his work with professionals including doctors, lawyers, clergy, and academics. Frisch further breaks from traditional therapy models by encouraging practitioners to engage in strategic self-disclosure; assign homework to their clients; and focus on life balance, growth opportunities, and positive growth. In fact, he has had so much success with his program that he has recently adapted it to include Quality of Life Coaching. Quality of Life Therapy uses a well-validated computer-based survey (the Quality of Life Inventory [QOLI] that can be found 96

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online at www.pearsonassessments.com/tests/qoli.htm) to assess overall quality of life as well as satisfaction with life domains such as health, work, goals, creativity, and children. In this way, therapists, consultants, and coaches are able to cobble together a full picture of what is going right in the client’s life and define which areas might need to be shored up. This is a radical departure for a therapy paradigm, and Frisch’s high-quality assessment is perfectly suited to positive psychology coaching. The survey is inexpensive for coaches to purchase, easy for clients to understand, and scored for you by a computer program. One of the greatest virtues of this inventory, where coaching is concerned, is that it can help identify areas for work, thus setting the stage for a structured approach to address client concerns. It can be used in introductory sessions as a way of taking stock of the client’s quality of life, and directing the coaching work. The QOLI can also be used to chart progress across sessions, or to refocus the coaching agenda in uncertain sessions. Have you ever had, for instance, a session with a long-term client, in which he was unsure what to talk about? Occasionally, weekly coaching sessions can feel burdensome to clients, and sometimes they are at a loss when it comes to “providing material” for the session. In such instances, the QOLI is an ideal tool for assessing areas that might merit discussion, and one that would be welcomed by your clients. In addition to an easy-to-use computer assessment, Frisch’s approach to working with clients, described in detail in his book Quality of Life Therapy, is impressive for its comprehensive interventions.8 Frisch has compiled a list and description of interventions and discusses how they can be applied to specific areas of life such as goals and relationships. The details and uses of Frisch’s approach are too lengthy to describe in detail here but we highly encourage you to read his book (see Further Reading Section at the end of this chapter). The enormous section on specific interventions includes many that will be familiar to coaches, and some that will be new, and all are useful. We are particularly excited about QOLT because it relies on scientifically supported measures, and has itself 97

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been validated as an intervention that can increase happiness.9 Adopting Frisch’s methods, in part or in whole, will put you on the cutting edge of positive psychology coaching.

EXPRESSIVE WRITING PARADIGM

Much is made in coaching of the importance of writing things down. Coaches often counsel their clients to keep lists, post personally meaningful reminders, record motivational mantras, use date planners and calendars, keep journals, and commit to paper their hopes and dreams. You have probably seen for yourself the power of writing down important personal goals. Perhaps you have seen the difference that this form of expression has had on your clients. Much talked about hopes and ideas have a way of becoming clearer and seeming more achievable once they are committed to the page. University of Texas psychologist James Pennebaker saw the potential of expressive writing in working with victims of trauma and those otherwise trying to cope with hardship. In his “expressive writing paradigm” Pennebaker has examined the salutary effects of putting stress into words. In several studies, Pennebaker and others have found that expressing yourself in written form can help with health and coping.10 How might writing work with a relatively mentally healthy population, such as your clients, and how might it be used to affect happiness? University of Missouri psychologist Laura King used Pennebaker’s expressive writing paradigm to assess how it might be used to increase well-being.11 Although her methods were deceptively simple, her findings clearly show the power of this technique. King assigned her research participants to one of three experimental conditions: members of the first group were to write about their “best self,” those in a second group were instructed to write about their most traumatic life experiences, and those in a third group were asked to write about their plans for the coming day. In each condition, participants were told to write

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on the topic for 20 minutes a day for 4 days. King also measured her participants’ moods before and after the writing exercise. As expected, those folks who were asked to imagine a future in which they had realized their dreams, achieved their goals, and worked hard, showed increased happiness, both directly after writing and several weeks later. This study was later replicated by psychologist Ken Sheldon and his colleagues.12 You might be smiling to yourself, thinking that this is exactly the type of thing you already do with your clients, or that you have been thinking about doing. If so, you can now proceed with the added confidence of a positive psychology scientific seal of approval. If you are not currently employing this type of intervention, we encourage you to do so. There are many ways in which you can use this type of activity with your clients. We suggest that you assign an expressive writing project as homework during periods of stress, transition, or uncertainty. By offering your client the opportunity to envision an optimistic and successful future, you can increase motivation as well as happiness. But, beware, if your client is under too much stress, positive expressive writing may be challenging, and the intervention might not work. It is important that you gauge the emotional state of your client and introduce this project when he or she feels it is most likely to pay off. Two samples of instructions for such a writing project follow. Feel free to modify them in any way you deem appropriate, or to create instructions of your own: Instruction A: “Take a moment and imagine your life in the future. Picture the things that have happened to you, and all you have accomplished. Imagine, in particular, that everything has gone as well as it possibly could have. You have worked hard, overcome hurdles, and achieved the things you have always wanted. Describe this life.” Instruction B: “Take a moment and imagine your best possible self. Imagine a version of yourself as you believe you could

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be if you thought, behaved, and accomplished all that you hoped for. Consider your virtues, relationships, and successes. Describe this optimal you.” PHYSICAL EXERCISE

Most readers need little convincing of the positive effects of regular exercise. The many health benefits of walking, running, and other forms of fitness training are well documented and widely publicized. Some readers may also be aware of the research linking exercise to good moods, better concentration, increased physical energy, and lower levels of stress. If you think about the times you have faithfully gone to the gym, jogged, or competed on a sports team, this research will probably make sense. Chances are, these were periods when you tended to feel upbeat and enthusiastic, as well as physically able and energetic. Maintaining fitness is a worthwhile goal not only to promote health in the present but also to be prepared for physical activities in the future. Who wants to go to the mountains when you are not fit enough to hike? Aren’t we missing something if we vacation in Hawaii, but cannot muster the energy to swim in the ocean or walk on the beach? Health is, arguably, one of our most precious personal resources, and one that requires continual maintenance. In recent years, research has been conducted on the relationship between physical exercise and happiness. As you might expect, the preponderance of evidence points to the conclusion that keeping fit can be a large boost to your mood. In his review of the research, the late Oxford University psychologist Michael Argyle found that the benefits of regular exercise were many: lower stress, less tension, less tiredness, lower feelings of anger and depression, increased vigor, higher self-esteem, more positive body image, and increased reports of positive moods.13 In fact, Argyle and his colleagues found that people who regularly engaged in sports were even happier than those who belonged to church groups or choirs. Once again, the data is so strong in the case of 100

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exercise and physical and emotional well-being that the conclusion is unavoidable: there is no excuse for not exercising regularly. Except for the fact that there are a million excuses for not exercising: Life has a way of inconveniently coming between you and what you know you ought to be doing. It is an easy matter to think of a dozen reasonable excuses people give for their lackluster gym attendance. Not the least of which are work and family, two exceedingly important life domains that demand our time and energy. It can be difficult to argue, especially with yourself, that there is a good reason to miss out on either family activities or work. In our experience, exercise is an activity that frequently gets put on the client’s back burner in favor of more pressing concerns such as deadlines and family obligations. If this is also the case with your clients, we encourage you to couch exercise in terms of health rather than a discreet activity. It is easy to choose work over exercise, but is it as simple a decision when choosing between work and health? In case your clients need additional motivation, it may be helpful to have them write a list of benefits from their various activities. You can use this activity to clearly connect a fitness regime with better performance at work. It is difficult to argue that there are many things we do during the day that are as clearly beneficial as fitness training. Health is one personal commodity that cannot be purchased. While deadlines might be extended or extra help on the job can be hired, your clients’ health must be earned and maintained. In addition to the many health benefits of regular exercise, you can now add a long list of mental health benefits. These, in turn, can be looked at as additional resources for performing better on the job and for being a more productive family member at home. If your clients were convinced that even 20 minutes of exercise four times a week would help them manage their stress better and leave them feeling more confident and energetic, would they be more likely to make time for the gym? You can help keep them motivated by helping them structure exercise as a social activity with a partner, find a sport that challenges them 101

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appropriately, and by having them list their other work and personal goals, each of which could benefit from their health. POSITIVE REMINISCENCE

Occasionally, people distinguish between psychotherapy and coaching by, among other things, describing the differences in how much attention is given to the past, present, and future. Therapists, according to common wisdom, spend a large portion of their sessions asking about the past, taking family histories, and exploring childhood events. By contrast, many people view coaching as more forward focused, with an explicit emphasis on future outcomes and activities. Whether these views are generalizations or steeped in fact, coaches do well to consider their “time orientation,” the amount of time they focus on the past, present, and future. Experienced coaches recognize the need for exploring the past, especially in instances where clients have experienced success or have endured and recovered from failure. Research in positive psychology suggests that there are other reasons to walk down memory lane. Reminiscing about the past has been shown to be associated with well-being, and several theories offer explanations for this.14 It may be that nostalgic thought is inherently pleasurable and comforting. Similarly, thinking about the past may be helpful for maintaining a relatively constant sense of identity across situations and years. In older adults, some theorists have argued, looking back across one’s life is an important step in finding final psychological closure. Undoubtedly, you have personal experience with positive reminiscence. It may be easy to call to mind the last time you dusted off the photo album from your wedding and marveled at how young you were, how innocent, or how in love. Perhaps you can think of a time when you lingered a moment over your bookshelf, smiling at a hard-won trophy from some long-ago athletic competition. Past successes and emotional high points are just too deep a well not to draw from them occasionally. 102

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University of Chicago psychologist Fred Bryant used the universal experience of positive reminiscence as a jumping off point for his research on ways to increase happiness. In his first study, Bryant asked university students about their actual reminiscence, a fine first step to exploring how this mental action occurs in every day life. According to his findings, Bryant’s research participants were likely to reminisce when alone; reminisce when they were feeling down (a sign that reviewing the past might be a coping strategy); reminisce about relationships; and gain new personal insights, additional happiness, and/or feelings of escape from the present as a result. In addition, a large percentage of his participants reported that they actively engaged in strategies for storing their positive memories for later use. Some people made an effort to remember the event at the time, such as by taking photographs or making a “mental note,” and others attempted to keep the memory alive by storing it after the event, such as by describing the story to a friend.15 In his second study, Bryant chose to use a controlled laboratory setting to investigate two different ways of reminiscing about the past. In this study, research participants were assigned to one of two experimental groups and were instructed to set aside 10 minutes twice a day for a week, in which they could sit alone and think about a positive memory. In one group (the cognitive condition), participants were told to relax, breathe deeply, and think freely about the memory. In the second group (the memorabilia condition) participants were asked to hold a physical memento of a positive experience and focus on memories associated with it. Bryant found that members of both these groups reported more happiness across the week as compared with people in a control group, and that members of the cognitive condition group benefited the most, perhaps due to the vividness of their mental imagery. Bryant’s studies show that happiness is attainable by taking a few minutes out of the day to draw on the successes of the past. Both types of reminiscences—cognitive and memorabilia—may 103

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be beneficial to your clients, and may be used alternately to keep the intervention fresh. As a first step in using this tool with your clients, you may consider helping them develop a habit of “storing” positive memories. Asking your client for a brief review of the positive events that happened over the course of the day or week may be an exercise that gets her accustomed to paying attention to and holding such memories. If there is some future occasion in which you and your client can predict that she will experience success, you might brainstorm ways to capture the images and feelings of the event. For example, if your client is particularly looking forward to presenting a power point talk at a conference, and feels confident in her ability to do a good job, you may suggest that she take mental snapshots of the scene, focusing on the faces of the audience, the size of the venue, the sound of laughter at her jokes, and the surge of energy afterward. This will make future recall of this cherished event that much easier. Another promising way to engage your client is to have him list all of the memorabilia that might be used in guiding positive reminiscence. Ask him about trophies and awards, plaques, degrees, and certificates. Ask your corporate clients about the decorations in their offices, encouraging them to consider photographs, personal knick-knacks, souvenirs, and books. No item is too small to consider, including your client’s first business card, name placard, reserved parking space, or company identification card. There are also a wide range of non-work-specific mementos as well. Photo albums, old clothes, parts of the city (such as restaurants) and jewelry are all fair game. As long as there is a positive association with the item, it can be used as a catalyst for positive reminiscence. In addition to using physical objects, it can be helpful—as Bryant’s research suggests—to work with your clients to simply think about the past in a positive way. Sandra Foster, the client/partner at Korn/Ferry who works with executives on their personal development suggests taking time at the end of the day to reflect on the wins.16 This, says Foster, can help provide a 104

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much-needed sense of closure to the workday by clearly marking the end of the shift while also punching off the clock on a positive note. As a final note, it is important to acknowledge that reminisce isn’t for everyone. In fact, Bryant found that women were more likely to see the benefits of savoring good times.17 It is possible that male socialization encourages men to remain goal focused, and therefore future focused. In the end, you should use your own personal acumen to judge the appropriateness of this intervention with your respective clients. In addition, it is wise to consider the difference between positive reminiscence and rumination, dwelling on negative events. As you might well imagine, rumination can decrease happiness, and care must be taken to distinguish between these two types of memories and to protect your client from unnecessary dwelling on negative events. This point is illustrated by recent research findings by positive psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky. In a series of laboratory studies, Lyubomirsky and her colleagues found that simply replaying past triumphs led folks to increased feelings of well-being, while strategically analyzing these same past successes actually lowered well-being.18 Thus, care should be taken with your clients to distinguish between savoring and analyzing. Again, your judgment based on your knowledge and relationship with your client will be your best guide as to the appropriateness of these interventions. FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness is an easy concept for most folks to understand, even if it is often hard to accomplish. Forgiveness functions as a social harmonizer, that is, it is a tool by which we keep groups— families, teams, cities, countries—intact. Forgiveness is the process by which we accept those who have violated rules, laws, or morals, back into our good graces. Everyone slips up sometime. For some folks, the gaff is petty crime born of desperation or opportunity. For most of us, our failures are less dramatic, 105

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amounting to offending others with careless talk, gossiping, or falling through on a promise. All of us, without exception, have some experience with the tension in relationships that results from acting inappropriately or failing to fulfill an obligation. Authentic remorse is an important part of the social healing process, but even heart-felt regret and a sincere apology are not tonic enough to move forward in a relationship. Forgiveness, ultimately, is necessary to bandage these social hurts. For many people, mercy does not always come easily. In fact, forgiving people is a surprisingly difficult process, and final forgiveness is often a hard-won accomplishment. Showing mercy and compassion toward others often means that we must relinquish our anger, stop nursing our wounds, and accept the transgressor. But there is a more pleasant side of forgiveness as well. Accepting an apology can feel good, and forgiveness can be an important part of living by a personal moral code. Similarly, the renewed social bonds that follow reconciliation can feel good. In fact, John Maltby, a psychologist at University of Leicester, found that thoughts and behaviors related to forgiveness are associated with happiness.19 This makes sense: there must be some benefit to forgiveness in order to motivate people to forgive! Research on forgiveness shows that it is, indeed, associated with better health, more happiness, and lower rates of depression and anxiety. Because of the many benefits of forgiveness, a number of researchers have tested interventions aimed at promoting a forgiving attitude. The results of their studies show that forgiving attitudes can be increased and that doing so resulted in more feelings of hope, lower feelings of hostility, and that these benefits lasted up to a year. Despite these impressive results, we would like to add a special caution around forgiveness interventions. Sandra Foster advises against using forgiveness interventions in the workplace. “Using these types of interventions with business people,” she told us in a recent interview, “can be really tough.

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These interventions bring up sadness, can get too personal, and can seem too intrusive.” As Foster suggests, forgiveness interventions can be tricky, especially because they typically address painful incidents, emotional hurt, and focus on increasing intimacy with others. Frank Fincham, a psychologist at University of New York-Buffalo, who has written on the topic, suggests that forgiveness-based interventions should include an educational component that address the nuts and bolts of what forgiveness does, and does not include.20 Education of the type Fincham describes may be a helpful first step in guarding against problems in using this tool with clients. Even so, coaches should exercise care when addressing forgiveness. One possible way to sidestep potential problems, and even this ought to be approached delicately, is working with your clients to forgive themselves. Rather than dealing with the painful emotions associated with slights, embarrassments, and injustices, forgiving yourself can seem less intimate. Often self-forgiveness is just a matter of reevaluating past mistakes, allowing for situational factors that may have contributed, and learning from the past. It is possible to work with clients to let themselves off the hook psychologically. GRATITUDE

For many observant Jews, the morning begins with Modeh Ani, a short Hebrew blessing in which God is thanked for life. Other religions have similar prayers of thanksgiving that are said in the morning, before meals, and on special occasions. Regardless of individual beliefs about souls, prayer, or religion in general, we think this prayer is—psychologically speaking— a nice way to start the day. In essence, it begins the day with a small dose of gratitude. Being thankful for your blessings is ingrained in many aspects of society. Children are often prodded by parents to “say thank you,” and every autumn Americans

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celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday. Having a grateful attitude means having a natural tendency to be thankful for your blessings, and being able to readily appreciate your successes and privileges. Researchers and theorists suspect that gratitude serves several important functions. First, it helps people maintain their close connections with others. Reminding yourself of how your intimate relations have supported you in times past will generally predispose you to look on these folks favorably. Being thankful can also counter negative moods by focusing attention on positive aspects of life. Researcher Michael McCullough has also found gratitude to be linked to more helping behaviors, high positive emotions, life satisfaction, increased hope, and lower feelings of depression, anxiety, envy, as well as less materialistic attitudes.21 McCullough and his colleagues have conducted studies in which they looked at the effects of gratitude interventions on happiness.22 In their studies, the researchers assigned participants to a number of conditions. One such group was asked to write down each day, in a single sentence, five things they were grateful for over the preceding week. Other participants completed the same task, but did so only on a single day rather than each day of the week. Still other participants were asked to write a letter of gratitude to someone to whom they felt thankful. As expected, the interventions worked, providing people with increased happiness and hope. What’s even more impressive is the fact that these benefits lasted up to 6 months. Of all the happiness interventions, it is those focused on gratitude that have shown the most robust effects. Remember in Chapter 2, when we discussed adaptation? It is possible that gains in happiness are usually temporary as people adapt to them. Gratitude, on the other hand, may be an instance of a mental process that is immune to adaptation because it is an active, conscious, and effortful way of appreciating life each day in a novel way.

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Although positive psychology researchers found good results with their gratitude interventions, some worked better than others. For instance, there appeared to be more benefit to listing your blessings 1 day a week rather than everyday.23 Apparently, listing too many blessing, and doing so too frequently, can become boring. Similarly, writing a letter of gratitude actually increased anxiety in research participants, perhaps because they worried the letters would be mailed or otherwise made public. We highly encourage you to use gratitude interventions with your clients, and suggest that you begin by having your client write down five things she is grateful for one time a week. McCullough also suggests that it is possible to cultivate a more grateful attitude by vowing to do so publicly.24 To this end, we also encourage you to work with your client to develop a pledge to begin noticing life’s blessings. ALTRUISM

Everyone, without exception, has experienced the rush of positive feeling that results from helping others. Whether it was holding the door for a handicapped person, donating to charity, feeding a vacationing neighbor’s cat, reporting a hit and run accident, or working with your child on her homework, opportunities to help others abound. What’s more, altruism is not just a matter of heroism or a set of behaviors reserved for firefighters and soldiers. Undoubtedly, you and your clients have risen to the occasion, no matter how small, to help a friend, coworker, or even stranger. And, chances are, it felt good. Altruism pops up again and again in the research literature as an action that is associated with a wide variety of desirable outcomes. In a recent review of three decades of research on happiness, three prominent psychologists asked the question, “Does happiness lead to success?” In their review, Sonja Lyubomirsky, Laura King, and Ed Diener found that folks who felt more

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positive emotions were less selfish, spent more time helping others, reported more acts of altruism, were more likely to be engaged in community service activities, were generally more empathic, and were better organizational citizens.25 Clearly, the link between happiness and altruism is strong. But which way might the causal arrow point? Does happiness increase altruism or might altruism increase happiness? Research on the topic suggests that both are true. While happy, upbeat individuals might have more energy to devote to helping others one longitudinal study also found that those who volunteered more hours also felt increased happiness.26 It may be that helping others is hardwired into our genetic code. Evolutionary theorists believe that people are invested in helping members of their “in-group,” which could mean family members, close friends, coworkers, or others who share common interests. By lending a hand to these close associates, we may be, without consciously acknowledging it, forwarding our own interests, building a bank account of goodwill, or putting useful skills into practice. Regardless of the particular benefit, your client’s natural altruistic leanings can be accessed in an effort to promote well-being. And this well-being, as we have discussed in other places in this book, translates to a wide range of personal and professional benefits. University of Missouri psychologist Laura King says that the link between altruism and happiness is so clear that one of the surest routes to emotional fulfillment is if we all start lending a hand. “People who want to live a more fulfilling life,” she said at a recent conference on subjective well-being, “should quit reading self-help books and start helping others.”27 We echo her sentiments here. Working with your clients to act pro-socially, even in small ways, can make their jobs and lives seem more rewarding. A recently published article on using kindness to improve happiness provides a deceptively simple way to harness your client’s altruistic leanings.28 Japanese researcher Keiko Otake and her colleagues asked participants in their study to keep track of every 110

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act of kindness they committed for a week, and assigned other participants to a control group. After the 1-week intervention the kindness counters felt a boost in happiness, were much happier than the control group, and those good folks who performed more acts of kindness also received the lion’s share of the psychological benefits. It would be a simple thing to suggest to your clients that they begin paying attention to the many small good deeds they enact throughout the day.

CONCLUSION The past decade has seen a great leap forward in the scientific attention given to happiness promoting interventions. At long last, we have gone from clever theories to developing interventions that actually increase emotional well-being and positivity. As coaches, it is increasingly important to be able to substantiate our services with proof that they work. The research on the effectiveness of positive psychology interventions is one such proof. Positive psychology pioneer Martin Seligman turned his attention to this area of research.29 With his colleagues, he used a placebo controlled design to test five interventions, including: a “gratitude visit,” in which participants wrote a letter of thanks and then hand delivered it to the recipient, “counting blessings,” in which each night for a week participants wrote down three things that went well each day, a “you at your best” exercise, in which participants wrote about a time in their past when things went very well and then focused on this essay a little each day, “applying your strengths to a new situation,” in which participants used the VIA classification of strengths (described in the next chapter) to identify strengths and then apply them to new situations. The research team found that the gratitude visit boosted happiness for a month while counting blessings and using strengths elevated happiness for up to 6 months. These findings fit well with the overall picture of positive psychology as a promising new area for coaches to turn to in an effort to improve our services. 111

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ACTION STEPS FOR POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY COACHES 1. Consider how you can use the empirical research on happiness-increasing interventions to sell your services. Think about the benefits of compiling this research into a list that can be used on web sites, business cards, and brochures. How might you present this information to your prospective or current clients? 2. Consider each of the interventions described in this chapter and think about which of your clients you might want to offer them to, and which you would not. Consider your professional relationship, the client’s personality and goals, and the cautions suggested. When might you introduce these interventions? How might you assess if they are working? 3. Consider employing the happiness interventions in your own life. Begin writing down the things you are thankful for, or start developing the habit of paying attention to happy moments so that you can savor them later. Chart your own life satisfaction over the next few weeks to determine how these interventions work for you.

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FURTHER READING Frisch, M. (2006). Quality of Life Therapy: Applying a life satisfaction approach to positive psychology and cognitive therapy. Hoboken, New Jersey: Wiley. A comprehensive guide to the assessments and interventions that form the foundation of this exciting new positive therapy. Linley, A., & Joseph, S. (2005). Positive psychology in practice. Hoboken, New Jersey: Wiley. An edited volume with chapters by leading experts in the field, each dealing with a different aspect of Positive Psychology. Pennebaker, J. (1997). Opening up: The healing power of expressing emotion. New York: Guilford. A guide to the value and power of committing experiences to the written word.

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FOUNDATION II Character Strengths

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CHAPTER FIVE

Strengths Coaching

There is a wonderful story about finding strengths in unlikely places. The tale concerns a pilot program that was implemented in the substandard educational environment of one of Washington, DC’s inner city schools. Many of the eighth graders at this school were, as is common in poor and urban areas, terrible students. They were unmotivated, acted out, and had trouble with the class material. Many of them could hardly read, a skill widely acknowledged as an important stepping stone to learning in other content areas. They were, unfortunately, a cliché. Low-income eighth graders reading at a third-grade level. To some observers it was a wonder that they showed up at school at all. The years to come held few opportunities for these children, and a life involving crime, drugs, violence, or unintended pregnancies seemed all but inevitable. Until the day that some ambitious and visionary educators had a brilliant idea. Although the students could only read at the third-grade level, their skills were far superior to incoming first graders. A program was quickly developed in which the eighth graders were recruited to mentor smaller children. The effects were immediate and dramatic. The mentors suddenly felt 117

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more engaged, capable, and hopeful. In one fell swoop, they had been transformed from habitual losers to helpful learners. Amazingly, what once was considered their greatest personal deficit was now their chief strength. The idea of tapping an individual’s personal talents and resources should be familiar to most coaches. In fact, the idea that clients are resourceful, and that these assets—whether personal, social, or financial—can be applied to problems at work, and enlisted in the pursuit of dreams, is integral to effective coaching. Alex Linley, a leading positive psychology researcher in England, argues that a strength approach is self-sustaining because people like to use their best assets.1 Unlike the case of overcoming weaknesses, which can be motivationally challenging to the best of us, applying strengths is fun and rewarding. Why might this be the case? Hundreds of scholarly articles have been published suggesting that people need to “fit” with their work environments. The opportunity to use a person’s strengths may reflect an environment that is hospitable, rather than hostile to the individual. But, while most experienced coaches know to look for strengths, they do not always have an organized method for doing so, nor do they have a systematic way to apply strengths once they are identified. One of the most exciting new areas of positive psychology is the study of character strengths. Traditionally an aspect of human nature addressed exclusively by philosophers interested in such heady topics as “virtue,” character strengths are rapidly coming under the purview of psychologists and other social scientists. In the past 5 years alone, breakthroughs have been made in identifying, classifying, assessing, and fostering character strengths.2 In the previous chapter, we discussed scientific proof that applying a strength to a new area of life can increase happiness and protect your clients against stress and sadness. Positive psychology coaches can draw on this new information to direct their inquiries and systematically help clients to build on their personal resources. 118

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The history of using strengths to motivate and inspire people to action is older than positive psychology, older than coaching, and even older than the Greek philosophers themselves. Stories of strength from the earliest days of society have found their way to the modern era. The Epic of Gilgamesh, tales from the Torah, and the trials of Odysseus are more than dramatic narratives with the entertainment value of soap operas. At their heart, many of these stories are about character strengths and the triumph of personal virtues over the troubles that invariably plague human existence. Gilgamesh is strong and brave, Moses is faithful and an inspiring leader, Odysseus is clever and perseveres in the face of hardship. In each case, the stories that we find so inspiring touch us precisely because we are moved by the virtuosity of the protagonists. They frequently show us a glimpse of ourselves at our best. What’s more, many of these classic tales appeal to us precisely because they hinge on the kind of inner strength available to all of us. They rely on common personal attributes such as loyalty, wisdom, and bravery that we frequently see exhibited in those around us. If Mozart’s story of musical genius awes us with its lofty excellence, Odysseus’ story of perseverance motivates us because it reminds us of what is possible for each of us. A focus on strengths is more than just hopeful positivity, or naive American-style Pollyannaism. Results from careful scientific research suggest that capitalizing on strengths might be a more fruitful route to success than attempting to shore up weaknesses.3 For instance, in 1955 educators in Nebraska studied the effectiveness of different methods for teaching speed reading.4 In the study, students of various reading levels were assigned to groups that used different techniques to learn speed reading. Although all of the students were generally helped by the various methods, those who were already the strongest readers before the study began benefited disproportionately from their average reader counterparts. That is, the interventions made great readers even better at a higher rate than they changed poor readers into moderate readers. This somewhat counterintuitive finding 119

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suggests that more mileage might be gained from focusing on natural strengths rather than attempting to correct problems. In fact, studies such as this one are part of a growing scientific literature on the benefits of positive emotion, positive social connections, and the importance of tapping strengths. A strengths-based business model is rapidly finding supporters among the leadership of large companies seeking a competitive edge. Positive psychology coaching, especially where it concerns strengths, can give your clients that same sharp edge. Point 1: Research shows that, in many cases, building on strengths is more effective than trying to improve weaknesses.

But how do we know exactly what is a strength? Might some people value punctuality while others prefer taking the slow road? Which group of folks makes the better decision, those people who accept the hardships life has to offer, or those who rail against them? Is ambition a strength, or a dangerous fault? When you take time to consider the complexities of strengths, the topic can get murky. One of the dangers of coaching to strengths without a formal framework for answering these fundamental questions is that “shooting from the hip” can create subtle opportunities to either impose personal values on the client, or miss virtues that the client values. Fortunately, positive psychology has tackled many of these sticky questions from a controlled scientific perspective, and now offers just such a formal framework for coaches to use in their practices.

BACKGROUND TO STRENGTHS Among the most ambitious and successful projects to come out of modern psychology is Chris Peterson and Martin Seligman’s scientific work on character strengths.5 At about the same time Seligman

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was spearheading the positive psychology movement as an intellectual counterpoint to the historic focus on depression and other troublesome psychological maladies, he began focusing on the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the major taxonomy used to diagnose mental disorders. It is a thick book full of descriptions of symptoms of depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, and other psychological disorders. The DSM is the go-to resource for psychiatrists, clinical psychologists, and other counselors and therapists. Seligman cleverly pointed out that the DSM was much more about mental illness than mental health, and called for the development of a sister classification of human strengths. What might society be like, he mused, if we knew as much about the symptoms and development of curiosity, humor, and gratitude as we do about psychological suffering? How might humanity benefit if science could provide a systematic understanding and program for fostering character strengths and inner abundance? Peterson and Seligman’s first step on this new path was to consider what, exactly, constitutes a character strength. How might one distinguish between a skill, such as learning a new computer program, a talent, such as having a pleasant singing voice, and a strength? Peterson and Seligman established seven criteria by which they would discriminate between these resources and by which they could evaluate candidate strengths for inclusion in their classification system: (1) Strengths need to be manifest in a range of individual thought, action, or feelings; (2) strengths contribute to the good life, for the self or others; (3) strengths are morally valued in their own right in addition to the desirable outcomes they produce; (4) the display of a strength by an individual does not diminish other people in the vicinity, but rather elevates them; (5) societies provide institutions and rituals for cultivating strengths; (6) there are consensually recognized paragons of strengths (i.e., people can think of examples of virtuous individuals who seem to embody these desirable traits); (7) strengths cannot be decomposed into other

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strengths (e.g., tolerance meets most of the other criteria but is actually a blend of fairness and open-mindedness). Thus, Seligman and Peterson were able to rule out skills and talents such as the ability to sing while retaining bona fide strengths such as gratitude. By establishing clear rules for the definition of a strength the researchers were able to systematically evaluate potential candidate strengths. Take, for example, the case of the strength of courage. Courage is the ability to face fears, overcome doubts, and act even in the face of uncertainty. Bravery can manifest in many ways. It can be heroic, as in the case of a bystander pulling a car accident victim from a flaming vehicle. It can also be more everyday, such as when a person makes a decision to volunteer to give a presentation even though public speaking is nerve wracking for him. Courage can mean quitting a job or accepting a promotion, getting married, or moving to a new country. Regardless of the specifics, courage is, by Peterson’s reckoning, a bona fide human strength. It is widely valued in its own right, it elevates those who witness it, it contributes to the good life, and it is easy to identify examples of courageous people. Contrast this with a skill, like the ability to make violins. Violin making is a fine craft, but lacks the hallmark features of strengths. Point 2: Strengths are personally and mutually beneficial, and are valued in their own right.

Peterson and Seligman next began the enormous task of actually identifying those strengths that might be appropriate to include in their new counterpoint to the DSM. They scoured religious tomes, ancient texts, philosophical treatises, modern novels, self-help books, and even—believe it or not—the Klingon Code from the popular Star Trek television show. Their goal was to identify character strengths described or prescribed by

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each of these works. They were interested in seeing which qualities were valued historically, and which were modern. They were curious to see whether some strengths existed across most cultures, and to see whether some were unique to certain groups such as the elderly, women, or children. After months of searching the literature and talking with experts, they developed an initial list of prospective character strengths, and then removed those, such as punctuality, that seemed culturally local, rather than universal. In the end, Peterson and Seligman found that they had a list of 24 character strengths (Table 5.1) that existed and were valued in cultures around the globe. These strengths, according to their understanding, comprised the short list of the most widely accepted and acknowledged human virtues. With funding from the Mayerson Foundation, Peterson and Seligman helped to develop the Values in Action Institute. The initial mission of the Institute was to develop a scientific measure of these character strengths, through which Peterson and Seligman hoped to assess the strengths of a wide range of people. The product of their efforts, the Values in Action Inventory of Strengths (VIA-IS) is described in detail in the section that follows. A quick review of the 24 VIA strengths suggests that the researchers did a fine job of cataloging their intended target. Although there might be person-to-person differences in the embodiment of these strengths, it is hard to argue that they are not widely valued across people, cultures, and religions. Without exception these strengths are positive, appealing, and exceedingly relevant to coaching. Working on strengths with your clients can be appealing because people typically like to hear about what they are good at, enjoy focusing on their strong points, and receive a boost of energy when they spend time discussing their resources rather than their personal liabilities. Strength work can be nonthreatening, productive, fun, and the first step toward expanding your clients’ resource toolbox.

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CHARACTER STRENGTHS Table 5.1 The VIA Classification of Strengths and Virtues Strengths of knowledge: Those related to acquiring and using new information. 1. Creativity 2. Curiosity 3. Love of learning 4. Perspective (wisdom) 5. Open-mindedness Strengths of courage: Those related to maintaining willpower in the face of opposition. 6. Bravery 7. Persistence 8. Integrity 9. Vitality Strengths of humanity: Those that center around relationships with others. 10. The capacity to love and receive love 11. Kindness 12. Social intelligence Strengths of justice: Those that support the best possible interaction among a group. 13. Citizenship 14. Fairness 15. Leadership Strengths of temperance: Those that protect from excess. 16. Forgiveness/mercy 17. Modesty/humility 18. Prudence 19. Self-regulation Strengths of transcendence: Those that form connections with a larger whole. 20. Appreciation of excellence and beauty 21. Gratitude 22. Hope 23. Humor 24. Spirituality 124

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Strengths Coaching WORKING WITH STRENGTHS

A quick mention of culture ought to be made here. For many people being introduced to the VIA for the first time, it is natural to wonder about the cultural validity of such a measure. Some folks wonder, for instance, if this is a distinctly “American” list, reflecting Western values. In a study conducted by one of the authors (RBD), the VIA items were presented to members of radically different cultures— American university students, Maasai tribal people in rural Kenya, and Inuit hunters in northern Greenland.6 The researcher asked participants to rate how important they thought each strength was, to indicate whether they would want their children to have the strength, and whether there were cultural institutions that fostered the strengths. In each case, there was a surprisingly high degree of agreement about the desirability of the VIA strengths. That said, there are other important cultural issues that should be understood when working with the VIA. First, while members of most cultures agree about the desirability of the VIA items, not all are equally comfortable discussing them. At a workshop on positive psychology and coaching in England, the authors of this book found “British reserve” to be a stumbling block, in which mockclients were reluctant to discuss their strengths openly, perhaps concerned that they would come across as conceited. As coaches, it is important to bear in mind the client’s comfort zone, and to tread tenderly around sensitive areas. In our experience, though, simply acknowledging the cultural difference, and creating a “local culture” in which the client is free to open up in atypical ways during the session can be sufficient to overcome cultural reluctance. In our experience in England, it was enough simply to say, “I know it may feel strange, like you are bragging, but I assure you I will not take it that way. I am genuinely interested in what you do well.” Point 3: Although there is widespread agreement about which strengths are viewed as desirable, not everyone is equally comfortable talking about personal strengths. Positive psychology coaches need to create a safe environment in which discussions of strengths can occur.

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Beyond their obvious usefulness, strengths also work in a less noticeable but equally important way. When we cultivate our talents and utilize our strengths in our relationships and at work we often inspire those around us. Jon Haidt, a psychologist at the University of Virginia, has conducted research on an emotion he calls “elevation.”7 Elevation, according to Haidt, is that uplifting feeling you get when in the presence of exceptional virtue. It is that awe people experience when they read the “Gettysburg Address” engraved on the wall of the Lincoln Memorial, or the sudden feeling of generosity you have when thinking of Mother Theresa, or the awe you experience when you see photos of Martin Luther King Jr. leading the march across the Edmond Pettus Bridge. Elevation is much more than a good feeling, it is beneficial for individuals and for groups. According to Haidt, people who experience elevation are more likely to feel optimistic and to help others. Perhaps elevation allows us to see what is possible and inspires us to action. Thus, when we utilize our character strengths well in public forums such as the workplace, everyone benefits. Point 4: Using character strengths not only makes an individual more effective, it has a positive effect on others.

ASSESSING YOUR CLIENTS’ STRENGTHS One of the most substantive contributions of positive psychology to date has been the development of a validated and systematic assessment of character strengths. This advance in the field should be of particular interest to coaches of all persuasions in that it gives us the ability to more carefully, and therefore more effectively, apply our craft. In the past, coaches typically listened carefully for client strengths, talents, and resources, and encouraged clients to use these in pursuit of their goals. While this approach is grounded in an intuitive grasp of the benefits of a positive psy126

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chology, it leaves much to chance and guesswork. By formally quantifying and measuring client strengths coaches can now better understand how a constellation of strengths fits together as well as determine the extent of their effectiveness. Moreover, formal assessments often have the advantage of soliciting information from clients more effectively than a coach can in session. For example, consider the VIA-IS (described next), in 45 minutes, asks the client 240 powerful questions about what she does well. In our experience as coaches, that is better than we perform in even our best sessions. VALUES IN ACTION INVENTORY OF STRENGTHS

The VIA-IS is rapidly becoming the state of the art in the measurement of strengths, having been completed by an astounding number of folks across the globe (more than 350 thousand people worldwide, and counting).8 The assessment is a 240-item selfreport questionnaire that asks respondents to use a Likert scale to report the degree to which they endorse each of 24 character strengths. Because of the length of the test, it takes substantial time to complete (roughly 45 minutes, depending on the reading speed and speed of the user’s Internet connection). Among the advantages of the VIA-IS is that it is a free, web-based test, so that it can be taken any time and at no cost to clients. Another advantage of the VIA-IS is that it produces only positive feedback, listing strengths clients “own” rather than ones they need to develop. In this way, the VIA-IS is more likely to be well received by clients than would be measures of depression or other areas commonly seen as weaknesses. Strengths researcher Nansook Park suggests that the VIA-IS can be scored “ispatively,” that is, looking at one strength of an individual and comparing it against that person’s other strengths, rather than against the strengths of other people.9 Because of this, Park cautions us against viewing strengths as a competition, with one person wiser or more courageous than her neighbor. Unlike 127

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intelligence tests, the VIA-IS does not rank people by overall percentiles, but rather can be used to effectively identify “signature strengths.” Signature strengths are those that come naturally and are commonly used by your clients. The VIA-IS can sometimes be helpful in identifying those virtues your client might be overlooking. The VIA-IS gives test-takers their top five strengths. In this way, you can work with your clients to identify their personal strengths and begin looking at ways to apply these to current problems and goals. The VIA-IS can also be used to evaluate the development of individual character strengths. For example, a client interested in developing managerial skills may use the VIAIS as a “before and after” measure to plot the course of growth in relevant strengths such as fairness, leadership, and teamwork. Chris Peterson also points out another fascinating aspect of the VIA-IS. When he looked at data from the hundreds of thousands of people who had taken the test, he saw that certain strengths had a tendency to cluster together.10 That is, folks who were high on a particular strength were far less likely to also be high on some others. For instance, people who rank as highly “curious” people typically do not also have “prudence” among their top five virtues. Perhaps curiosity compels people to rush forward, and prudence recommends against furiously seeking out novelty. Regardless of the reason, Peterson found that folks who score highly on selfrelated strengths such as creativity, curiosity, bravery, and love of learning were less likely to score highly on other-focused strengths such as modesty, fairness, and teamwork, and vice versa. Similarly, those who score highly on “strengths of the mind” such as open-mindedness and self-regulation were less likely to score highly on “strengths of the heart” such as gratitude and religiosity. This does not mean that your clients can never have both types of strengths—of course they can—but rather suggests that strengths cluster together. Thus, if your client is high on kindness, you can expect that she is also relatively high on forgiveness and teamwork, even if she does not bring these up (Figure 5.1). The VIA-IS can be accessed on-line at: www.viastrengths.org. 128

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Strengths Coaching Strength of the Heart

Gratitude Love Religiousness

Zest

Humor Hope

Forgiveness

Curiosity

Self Focused

Kindness

Beauty Social intelligence

Teamwork Leadership

Bravery Learning

Creativity

Other Focused

Fairness

Perspective

Modesty

Perseverance Self-regulation

Authenticity Prudence

Open-mindedness

Strength of the Mind

Figure 5.1 Trade-offs among character strengths. Note: The farther apart are two strengths, the less likely it is that the same person habitually shows both.

THE GALLUP STRENGTHSFINDER

The StrengthsFinder, an assessment developed by the Gallup Organization, has been widely used in organizational settings.11 In fact, Gallup uses the StrengthsFinder as a cornerstone of its work with international corporations, helping them to harness the power of their employees by working from a strengths perspective. Gallup uses the StrengthsFinder in its own hiring process, and we have yet to meet any Gallup employeee who were anything other than extremely satisfied with their workplace. Similar in some ways to the VIA assessment, the StrengthsFinder measures an individual’s talents related to 34 common themes such as a tendency toward competition or the ability to win over others. But because it was 129

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developed in and for the workplace, the StrengthsFinder includes items more readily translatable to organizational settings than those of the VIA-IS. The StrengthsFinder is a web-based questionnaire, containing 180 items, which takes about 40 minutes to complete. The Gallup Organization owns the assessment, and it can be purchased online at www.strengthsfinder.com.

STRENGTHS INTERVENTIONS Although most coaches understand the inherent importance of identifying and harnessing strengths, not all have clear ideas about how best to go about doing so. In this section, we present several suggestions for interventions aimed at highlighting personal resources and putting the client in contact with his or her own strengths. These interventions may also be useful in helping clients further cultivate their strengths. Results from research from youth development and other learning programs suggest that strengths can be cultivated, and clients who spend time growing their character resources are more likely to succeed in the various domains of their lives. Further, Seligman and his colleagues empirically examined the effects of two separate strengths related interventions.12 Both working with people to identify their signature strengths using the VIA-IS and applying these strengths to their lives were found to boost well-being.

IDENTIFYING AND DISCUSSING SIGNATURE STRENGTHS— TAKING THE VIA-IS

Coaches can incorporate the VIA-IS as part of their initial intake process, or introduce a client to the assessment later in the relationship as the need for identifying strengths becomes more relevant. Discussing the results of the measure is often a catalyst for client growth and change. As an alternative to taking the online

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measure, it is also possible to present clients—whether in person, through fax, or e-mail—with the list of VIA strengths and ask them to identify one or two strengths that seem to resonate with them. These can then be applied to the current coaching agenda, as the following interaction illustrates: COACH: Jesse, you mentioned that you wanted to talk about a situation at work. . . . JESSE: Yeah, it’s my new boss. She is terrible. She’s either not available when I need input on a project, or she is looking over my shoulder, micromanaging me. COACH: Sounds tough. JESSE: It is. COACH: Have you aired your complaints? JESSE: No, I’ve just kind of . . . taken it. COACH: When I hear you say “taken it” it sounds to me like you are tough. Like you have the capacity to endure a little bit of hardship. JESSE: Yeah, I suppose so. COACH: Would it be all right if we talked about some of your other strengths as well? With the idea that you might apply them to this situation? JESSE: Sure. COACH: I e-mailed you a list of strengths. . . . Do you have that in front of you? JESSE: I sure do. COACH: Great. Would you take a few seconds and look over them? Can you choose one or two that really seem to describe you well? JESSE: They all seem to! (laughter) COACH: Fantastic! JESSE: I think curiosity and humor fit me pretty well. COACH: That sounds right to me. . . . That’s true to my take on you as well. Is there one of those—curiosity or humor—that

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you would like to talk about? To apply to this situation with your new boss? JESSE: Sure. Curiosity. COACH: How might you apply that here? JESSE: Well . . . I’m curious, I guess, about why I haven’t spoken up. Said something. COACH: That’s interesting. JESSE: I think it’s because I am hoping that it will change on its own. That [the boss] will settle into her job and be a better manager. I’m also curious, now that I think about it, about what her point of view is. COACH: What do you mean? JESSE: I guess I am curious about how she sees things at the office, she is just learning her way around. Maybe she needs, or wants input from the staff. Maybe not. COACH: Would you feel comfortable giving her that feedback? JESSE: Yes, I think I would. Especially if I used my humor to lighten the stickier issues. COACH: Now you’re applying your strengths. Well done! FOSTERING CURIOSITY

Coaches can work with clients to help them craft activities and situations that offer the best possible chance to increase the clients’ innate curiosity. Curiosity often accompanies tasks that are novel, complex, ambiguous, varied, or surprising. Coaching interventions that breathe new life into old situations by replacing the familiar with the novel can activate the client’s curiosity (as well as playfulness, empathy, and other strengths). This can be especially helpful in those instances in which clients seem stuck, or cannot see a clear solution to their problem. As a coach, consider offering your clients a “new angle,” and ask them if they would be willing to “play” a little. If they give permission for the intervention, ask them to approach the situation or problem from the point of view of another participant. If, for instance, they are having a difficult 132

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time balancing their work obligations with their family life, ask them to consider the situation from the point of view of their supervisor, or their child. Take time and have them flesh out this point of view by asking them to describe specific details, emotions, or desires. There are innumerable variations on this strategy, such as asking the client to discuss the approach to the problem that they might have taken when they were 20 years old, or asking them to imagine negotiating the situation as if they worked for a competitor. In each case, creating a playful atmosphere and encouraging the client to wonder “what if,” can help create forward momentum and lead to new insights. SEEK OPPORTUNITIES FOR HUMOR

It’s a fact: humor puts us in a good mood. From television sitcoms to the laughing clubs of India, it is no secret that humor and laughter have positive effects on health and well-being. Unfortunately, between the serious world of work and the challenges of marriage and family, we often relegate humor to the back burner of “leisure time.” We recommend that people find more ways to incorporate humor into their daily lives. Whether this means seeking out the “office funny guy” at work, subscribing to an email joke-of-the day, or reading Dave Berry’s newspaper column, finding small ways to put fun and laughter back into otherwise mundane daily activities can translate to increased positive feelings. One of our clients, a woman who struggled with assertiveness but who scored high on playfulness, used her strength to her advantage at work. As a manager with 12 supervisees, the client had a difficult time getting through lunch at her desk without being bothered with some new pressing job-related concern. She had a tough time putting her foot down but eventually found the problem easier to address through humor. She called her staff together and showed them a photo of Darth Vader, the infamous Star Wars villain. “When this picture is up on my door,” she told the group, “You’d better not bother me or I will use the force on 133

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you.” By couching her serious concern in terms of humor, she was able to be effective at last. Although coaching to your clients’ strengths has a nice ring to it, we would like to caution you against a simplistic notion of strengths. It makes sense to take a step back and question how strengths work in tandem, and how they are best employed. The VIA classification is a wonderful tool, but a deeper look at the way strengths play out in the real world can help you make this assessment resonate with your clients. Although the VIA identifies the top five signature strengths, the truth is that strengths rarely are used in isolation. A person who is courageous, for example, might also be curious and creative, and this particular constellation of strengths will look different from courage combined with leadership and zest. In addition, there is wisdom in encouraging your clients to build multiple strengths rather than focusing on a single strength. Just as your client might exercise both her upper and lower body, attention to many of her personal strengths will ensure that they are being developed to their full potential. In the end, identifying and developing strengths is only half the solution. Ultimately, your clients must be able to use their strengths effectively. It is not always clear which strength is called for, and how best to put it into play. Haven’t you ever given a compliment based on kindness rather than honesty? Haven’t you had to rein in your natural curiosity? Psychologists Barry Schwartz and Kenneth Sharpe suggest that practical wisdom is necessary to discern how and when it is best to use your strengths.13 In a recent article in the Journal of Happiness Studies, Schwartz and Sharpe argue that three considerations must be taken into account to optimally use strengths: relevance, conflict, and specificity. That is, it makes sense to determine what bearing a strength may (or may not) have on a situation, how different strengths might come in conflict with one another, and how they might be tailored to the specific situation at hand. Schwartz and Sharpe are convinced—and we agree—that getting the most out 134

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of your strengths is largely a matter of experience. Asking your clients about times that using their strengths paid off, and those that backfired, is a great way of reminding them of their accumulated wisdom. WORKING WITH YOUR OWN STRENGTHS

While the VIA assessment may be new to you, the idea of coaching around personal strengths is probably familiar territory. Like goals, strengths are largely the stock in trade of our profession. Coach training programs, as well as coaches of all educational and professional backgrounds, endorse the idea that our clients have many resources they can draw on to overcome problems and grow.14 So ingrained is this idea, in fact, that the majority of coaches view their work as the process of connecting clients with their own personal resources, and helping them to decide how best to wield these assets in their pursuit of success. There is a danger, however, in our focus on our clients. Although most coaches are motivated by extraordinary empathy and compassion and a desire to help others, these feelings can lead us to forget about ourselves. Like our clients, we coaches need to grow and prosper and work toward our own goals. For most of us, some of these goals are professional, and we aspire to be better coaches, more savvy business people, and more authentic humans. Just as attention to personal strengths can unlock doors for our clients, examining, developing, and using our own strengths can be a key to our own success. We believe that one of the greatest potential areas of personal growth and professional development for coaches is in identifying and accessing their own personal character resources. Take the example of Heidi. Heidi was a relatively inexperienced coach who had taken two introductory classes from an accredited coach training program and had a fledgling practice with three clients. Although Heidi tried to be upbeat with her clients, her support and encouragement often felt false. Although she 135

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cared deeply for her clients, and even felt admiration for them and hoped for their success, Heidi felt that her “cheerleading” came across as forced. When she consulted a colleague about what she perceived as a professional stumbling block, she received terrific advice. Her colleague recommended that Heidi, an emotionally very even-keeled woman, drop the high-energy act and try to find a style that fit better with her personality. Heidi considered this and took a personal inventory of what she—uniquely—had to offer her clients. In the end, Heidi realized that although she risked coming across as “calm” she could be very open with her admiration of her clients. Rather than using verbal pom-poms, Heidi allowed herself to just marvel, in her own quiet way, at her clients’ creative ideas and ambition. The clients immediately noticed the difference, and reported that they felt just as encouraged by her sense of wonder as by her former, peppy support. In this way, Heidi accessed her own strengths and used them in an authentic way, a change that represented a huge step forward in her professional development. Heidi’s case illustrates an important issue for all coaches striving to be better, that of accessing our peers for feedback and support. Many coaches in England and Australia, particularly those who come from a background in clinical psychology, often recommend that coaches receive ongoing supervision.15 In fact, supervision is a required part of the training component of all programs accredited by the International Coach Federation. But, what happens once a coach “graduates” and receives certification? Does the growth end there? Are occasional classes to learn new skills sufficient to ensure that we are performing at our best? Because coaching is an activity that can be relatively isolated, with individual coaches working out of their own homes, or in the privacy of quiet offices, it can be difficult to assess whether we always make the right choices in session, ask the most powerful questions, or are otherwise providing the best service to our clients. Many veteran coaches encourage various forms of peer interaction that can serve to challenge, encourage, and otherwise keep us performing 136

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optimally. This might include receiving continuing supervision from a more experienced coach, joining a peer consultation group in which coaches can discuss difficult cases, or bringing up questions with your own coach. Another fruitful area of growth, and one that may be too often overlooked, is identifying one’s own strengths and ensuring that we wield these with maximum effectiveness. This can be done in many ways. The most obvious way, with the lessons of this chapter in mind, is to take the VIA assessment as a means of systematically taking stock of our own strengths. Although we all would like to think of ourselves as wise, funny, and curious, the VIA can help to pinpoint which of these strengths we have in abundance, and which are a part of our natural vocabulary in our interactions with others. Most of us have an intuitive grasp of our character resources, but the VIA can reinforce and extend these implicit notions by giving us clearly articulated and scientifically validated feedback. It might make a crucial yet subtle difference, for instance, if we relish those virtues that are second nature to us, and employ them in our sessions. Coaches who are naturally witty and playful should not be shy about making jokes or having fun with clients. Coaches who are optimistic can serve their clients in unexpected ways by lending their sense of hope to discussions of difficult problems. And coaches who score high in gratitude are more likely to elevate their clients by sharing with them how nice, and often personally beneficial, it is to work together. In the end, coaching is a partnership and a relationship, and it behooves professionals to take the time to consider what, exactly, they bring to the endeavor. Unfortunately for many of us, owning up to our own strengths can be difficult. Most cultures have prohibitions against seeming prideful, and we are often warned away from the dangers of conceit. According to psychologist Martin Seligman, societies offer too few opportunities for individuals to embrace and relish their best qualities.16 This is unfortunate not only because acknowledging our virtues can make us happier, but also because sharing our strengths 137

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with others can serve to inspire and uplift them. How, then, are we to give ourselves the credit we deserves, if we privately know our strengths? How can we celebrate the best parts of ourselves without coming across as arrogant? Some people, including Seligman, suggest creating an environment in which strengths can be openly discussed. One example of this is using a “strengths introduction.” When we meet people, whether at a party, on the airplane, or in an intake session, we tend to ask socially prescribed questions, such as inquiring about family and work. Rarely do we introduce ourselves by saying, “Hello, my name is David, and I am very intelligent and kind.” But this radical departure from the norm is exactly what a strengths introduction demands of us. Such introductions require us to label our virtues, or tell a story from our lives that illustrates a time when we were at our best. People are free, under these conditions, to talk about the time they pulled to the side of the road and rescued an injured man in an overturned truck. Or the time they made a large donation to charity, or forgave their unfaithful spouse. Of course, these are personal issues and discussing our assets flies in the face of everything we have been taught about how we should interact with people. Because of this, workshop leaders and coaches who use this exercise must be careful to create an environment of trust and openly acknowledge that a bit of bragging is appropriate to the situation. People who participate in such exercises often experience them as liberating and uplifting. They come away feel good about themselves and inspired by others. For a profession concerned with optimal performance, a strengths introduction can set the stage for later work beautifully by providing an example of the type of feeling and action our clients are striving for, as well as providing a clear illustration of the great things they are capable of. Another way coaches can use personal strengths to further our professional development is to make an effort to reflect, outside of sessions, on our clients’ strengths. Although there is a strong em-

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phasis in our profession to hold to the client’s agenda, and to create a space for clients to realize their own solutions to problems, it is sometimes difficult to do so. No matter how compassionate, or how generous hearted we are, no matter how much we like or respect our clients, there are inevitable times when we disagree with them, or doubt their chosen strategies. Often, these instances are simply a case of wanting to impose our own values on our clients, but we sometimes worry about the effectiveness of our client’s undertakings. Coaches are human, and if we are honest, we have all experienced those moments after the session ends when we are incredulous. I can’t believe my client said that, we sometimes muse; or we wonder if our clients are barking up the wrong tree in choosing their goals. In some cases, we judge our clients, despite our best intentions to the contrary, or worry that they might make ill-fated decisions. How do we deal with such dilemmas? How do we table our own values, without feeling we have sacrificed something we believe in? How do we deal with those times when we don’t like our clients? One promising strategy for dealing with these sticky issues is to reflect on our clients’ strengths. Coaches tend to listen for strengths very well, and can usually list our clients’ assets easily. We have found it useful to take this natural part of our profession and apply it in a systematic way. For each client, we write down a list of the things we really like about him or her— virtues and admirable qualities. When we have time (and we try to make the time), we spend a couple minutes before each session reviewing this list, and reminding ourselves what is so great about our client and why we enjoy working with him or her. Meditating on these strengths allows us to reframe negative judgments in a positive way, and draws our attention to the fact that people are not all bad, completely immoral, confused, or misguided. Although it is a simple exercise, coaches can use client strengths to maintain empathy and continue to offer our best services.

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ACTION STEPS FOR POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY COACHES 1. Consider the ways in which you have worked with strengths in the past. How have you identified client strengths or encouraged your clients to use their strengths? What have you learned from this chapter, and how might it affect your work in this area in the future? When and how might you incorporate formal assessments of client strengths such as the VIA-IS? 2. Consider the tenor of your coaching sessions and the overall environment in which your coaching takes place. How does this setting promote or inhibit free discussion of strengths. What might you do to create an environment in which talking about strengths is natural and acceptable?

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FURTHER READING Aspinwall, L. G., & Staudinger, U. M. (2003). A psychology of human strengths: Fundamental questions and future directions for a positive psychology. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. This edited volume includes chapters on the importance of strengths, discussions of individual strengths, and harnessing strengths. Buckingham, M., & Clifton, D. (2001). Now, discover your strengths. New York: Free Press. This book challenges readers to take ownership of their strengths. Peterson, C., & Seligman, M. E. P. (2004). Character strengths and virtues: A handbook of classification. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. This is the go-to manual for the VIA classification of strengths.

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Would you like the good news or the bad news first? Let’s go ahead and get the bad news out of the way so that we can relish the good: The bad news is that the idea of harnessing the power of client strengths is hardly new. For decades managers, consultants, teachers, and counselors have been tapping their clients’ personal resources to help them achieve their goals. Take the example of leadership, a strength vital to success in many areas of life and especially important in business. Books have flourished in the marketplace and careers have been made on their ability to help individuals identify and develop this asset. Some folks have looked at leadership as a set of skills, such as being assertive, eloquent, and emotionally intelligent. Others have seen it as a more in-born personal quality, like charisma. But, regardless of how leadership is best defined, people have clearly given much thought to what it is and how best to develop and employ it. Coaches, in particular, have a powerful tradition of asking clients about what they do best and encouraging them to do more of that. 143

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The good news, where strengths-based coaching is concerned, is that positive psychology provides a dynamic new taxonomy for thinking about and working with strengths. Finally, with the values in action (VIA) classification of strengths, we have a way to quantify and identify our greatest personal assets.1 As we discussed in the previous chapter, the VIA is far more than a simple list of good qualities. The VIA is scientifically derived, and uses strengths that have been proven to be universally valued and important in their own right. Not only that, but the VIA points our attention to the fact that strengths cluster together thematically, and can be used in many distinct domains of life. Some VIA strengths—such as fairness and good citizenship—are concerned with principles of justice, while others—such as love, kindness, and social intelligence—are primarily social in nature, and still others—such as open-mindedness and curiosity—are personal. In fact, the VIA offers an intriguing conceptual framework for looking at strengths precisely because it categorizes them. Two commonsense ways to look at your clients’ strengths is to think of them in terms of being intrapersonal and interpersonal. Intrapersonal strengths are those brilliant hidden personal resources that each of us can draw on in a wide range of situations. When we talk about people we admire, we often focus on their intrapersonal attributes such as intelligence, wisdom, and dedication. Creativity is among the most frequently recognized intrapersonal strengths. People are hired on the basis of their creativity, and this talent can be applied equally to problems at work and at home. But, just as often, intrapersonal strengths are overlooked. Take the example of curiosity. You have probably never heard of anyone landing a dream job because of natural curiosity, or applying natural inquisitiveness to stop an argument with a spouse. But take a moment and consider curiosity, and what a rich resource it actually is. Despite the bad press it gets (“curiosity killed the cat”), curiosity is linked with a variety of desirable psychological outcomes. Curious people tend to be learners, eager to soak up new information about the world. Cu144

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rious people are often open-minded. Curious people tend to be happy and energetic and are often intellectual and social explorers. Think, for instance, about the last time you went to lunch with someone who was genuinely curious and asked you all about yourself. It probably felt good to be listened to, and chances are it was easy to establish a friendship with that person. Positive psychology researchers have spent years examining personal strengths scientifically and have come to conclusions that extend well beyond common sense or intuition. In many cases, the research supports what many coaches have long been doing in their work with clients. Skilled coaches have an intuitive sense that creativity and wisdom are qualities to be celebrated, but how many of us take the time to ask questions about the optimal use of strengths. How, for instance, might curiosity help your client in her relationship with her supervisor, and in what ways might it hinder her? Could she be too curious? Are there areas of life one ought not be curious about? Is curiosity related to distraction, and does it pull a person off course? Or is curiosity related to learning, with highly interested people acquiring knowledge by the bookful? In many cases, research on intrapersonal strengths provides provocative new ways to think about personal resources. And then there are interpersonal strengths, those that help us work effectively in families, groups, and teams. Social strengths have generally been looked at in a fairly narrow way, with people focusing on social intelligence and on aspects of social relationships such as emotional support, team building, and leadership. To be sure, these are all worthwhile topics and deserving of the attention given to them. But there are many other interpersonal strengths that have largely flown under the radar of many people. We all recognize paragons of social virtue, those lucky souls who have charm, forgiveness, and a knack for compassion. In this chapter and the next, we present the exciting positive psychology research findings on a variety of fascinating intra- and interpersonal strengths. 145

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INTRAPERSONAL STRENGTHS As their name implies, intrapersonal strengths are often hidden, residing somewhere in the depths of an individual. Unlike their flashy social cousins, intrapersonal strengths are not always visible through behavior. Your wife, boss, or coworker across the hall could be using important personal resources even though he or she appears to simply be sitting and staring out the window. This is because many personal strengths exist at the level of thought and feeling, rather than action. They might lead to action, over time, but are not always easily recognizable in the moment. Resilience is a perfect example of an individual strength whose primary working mechanisms are tucked safely inside. People who have suffered through a tragedy frequently engage in the psychological gymnastics necessary to make sense of, and ultimately overcome their pain. But to the outside observer, this process is usually private and inaccessible. In fact, the experience of bouncing back from hardship is often cloudy even to the person who endured the hardship. For each of us who have suffered through some trial spent some time asking, “why,” and devoted some energy to identifying what good can come out of the experience, and finally made a mental commitment to change our habits or behaviors in some way that matches whatever lesson we have learned. But, even though this process is common to all of us, most people typically cannot identify the various stages and strategies of resilience. Psychological science, on the other hand, provides clear theories and answers that can help you speak to and work with your client’s intrapersonal strengths. Among the greatest achievements of positive psychology are the insights researchers have given us about the mechanics of strengths of the mind. TIME ORIENTATION

What comes to mind when we use the word “cognitive strengths?” If you are like the majority of folks you probably think of typical 146

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“strengths of the mind” such as intelligence, memory, attention, and other thinking-related assets. Typically people evaluate each other’s thinking on only a few dimensions such as how much expertise they have, how quickly they think, or how clever they are in their use of language. But, what about those many cognitive strengths that are overlooked? What about a person who has a great sense of direction? Isn’t that another type of cognitive strength? Surely you know someone who always knows whether he is traveling West or North, and seems easily oriented to the world around him. What about other cognitive strengths? What about someone who has a good sense of time? Time, as it turns out, is one of the most fascinating variables in all of research psychology. People sometimes speak about being “present in the moment” or of “dreaming about the future.” Each of these is a skill related to a personal sense of time. Fortunately, it appears that sense of time is a skill that can be developed. Consider the example of small children. Kids exist in the moment and have a difficult time anticipating the future. For anyone who has uttered the shocking words, “Time for bed!” to a child, the crestfallen face and sad complaints will be a familiar sight. At the heart of this issue is the fact that “Time for bed!” takes children out of the stream of present-oriented action and reminds them that there are disappointing changes coming in the near future. But as children mature, they develop a future-sense, a terrific ability that is at the heart of planning and perseverance. In the classic delay of gratification task used in many psychological studies, kids are given a choice between eating one cookie now, or waiting until later when they will be rewarded with two cookies. Clearly, the ability to control present-moment hedonism is related to understanding future consequences. Thus sense of time plays a subtle but powerful role in our daily functioning. Social psychologist Robert Levine, at the California State University-Fresno, has spent much of his career studying the psychology of time.2 For anyone who has traveled, differences in tempo are readily apparent to visitors to New York City and rural 147

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China. Some places move at breakneck speed and others just mosey along. Levine has studied these differences in pace of life by timing people as they walk to work in large cities and how long people will wait for a colleague to show up before they call it quits. As it turns out, waiting time is, in part, the product of culture. Some folks will stick around for a while and others will wait only a couple minutes. According to Levine, people in the United States unconsciously think of 5 minutes as a unit of time, and many are willing to wait up to three time units, or 15 minutes. Compare that to Middle Eastern culture, in which a unit of time is unconsciously considered 15 minutes. In the Middle East, folks also wait three time units, but in this case that translates to 45 minutes. Levine has also looked at the effects of rushing on health. On this last point, Levine makes a compelling case that a slower pace of life is better for your heart. In this same tradition, Stanford psychologist Philip Zimbardo has studied what he calls “time perspective.”3 Time perspective, simply put, is the amount of time a person spends living in the past, present, or future. You can probably call to mind, for instance, people who are always planning for the future, and anticipating good or bad events down the road. Or you may be able to think of folks who seem very engaged in the present moment, so much so that they seem to be unaware of the future. According to Zimbardo, one’s orientation toward the past, present, or future can be either psychologically healthy or unhealthy. In several studies of time perspective, Zimbardo and his colleagues found that people who tended toward a single perspective had the following qualities: • Past-oriented folks typically focus on their cultural traditions, family histories, and personal life narrative. These are people who have a tendency toward nostalgia, and their memories can bring a tremendous sense of joy and of having lived a worthwhile life. But that is only the case if they focus on positive events. For those souls who dwell on the nega148

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tives—a group Zimbardo refers to as “past-negatives” rather than “past-positives”—change is often intimidating, and they can be both closed-minded and ruminating. • Present-oriented individuals, according to Zimbardo, come in two types: present-hedonists and present-fatalists. In Western cultures, people who tend toward living in the now are pleasure seekers who value high intensity activities. Zimbardo and his colleagues conducted studies with this group showing they were more likely to use drugs, alcohol, and tobacco. They are often fun, but tend to act without regard for future consequences. Present-fatalists are people who live in the now but believe that the events of their lives are outside the bounds of personal control. Rather, they seem to be swept up in the current of life, and their time orientation often leaves present-fatalists feeling anxious and depressed. • Future-oriented people are goal seeking planners. They naturally conduct cost-benefit analyses, delay gratification, and create contingency plans. They tend to be successful and driven. On the other hand, too much future orientation can leave folks emotionally unavailable and cause them to overlook or lose enjoyment in the present moment. As you might expect, Zimbardo recommends a balanced time orientation. In an article written with positive psychologist Ilona Boniwell, Zimbardo argues that a balanced perspective is crucial to psychological health. It makes sense: Looking back on the good times, appreciating the present, and planning for the future is a recipe not only for success at home and work, but for happiness. Indeed, other researchers have taken the idea of “time competent” individuals and linked a balanced perspective to high achievement, self-control, and optimism. In fact, time perspective is so interesting and important that we devote the rest of this chapter to a discussion of strengths relating to this concept. Imagine, for a moment, a client who is not only balanced between the past, present, and future, but is able to harness positive strengths related to all 149

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three. This client would be a person who is capable of savoring the past effectively, enjoying the present, and maintaining hope for the future. Indeed, a small but growing body of research suggests that this type of person can reap a bountiful psychological harvest including high life satisfaction, happiness, and optimal functioning. The remainder of this chapter is devoted to three intrapersonal strengths related to past, present, and future orientation. Personal Query: How balanced is your time orientation? How much time do you spend in the present moment, versus walking down memory lane or planning for the future? How does your particular balance help or hinder you?

SAVORING

Savoring is, perhaps, the single character strength most related to time orientation. Although we often think of savoring as an act that happens in the present, such as enjoying a great meal in a beautiful restaurant with terrific company, it is actually a complex strength that extends into both past and future orientation. It is possible to savor past experiences by recalling them positively, enjoying present activities as they happen, and planning to savor golden future moments by anticipating them. Thus, savoring is a widely applicable skill that is sometimes dismissed in our fastpaced world. Even better, the ability to savor can be learned, and you can help your clients live a rosier life by understanding this strength better. Robert Levine’s studies on pace of life show that many societies are living at a more hectic tempo than ever before.4 We all live in an age where work, family, and recreational opportunities are abundant, and one in which economic mobility has given rise to an ambitious class of people. For anyone who works and raises a family, the balancing act of pick-up, drop-off, commuting, team meetings, deadlines, after school activities, family meals, work150

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related travel, and other activities often leave little time for enjoying the moment. Too frequently we bounce from one success directly into the next goal in the queue. In this type of life, the art of savoring can seem like an artifact of the past. And yet, we do have opportunities to savor our experiences, and doing so makes life a bit better. Savoring is more than hedonistic feeling good. It is a strength of character that extends well beyond enjoying a fine wine with dinner. Savoring is functional in many ways. The first is that the act of savoring prolongs enjoyable moments. Consider the emotional swelling you had when you gave a well-received talk or presentation. In reality, that joyful spike probably only lasted a short while. But by savoring the experience, replaying it in your head on the ride home, or by picturing it at the following week’s board meeting, you can stretch the moment out across days, weeks, and years. In a way, savoring can act like a vaccination that continues to protect you psychologically over a long period. The act of savoring can also be used to intensify positive feelings. Basking in an enjoyable experience can be a way of turning up the volume on positivity. And positivity, as we saw in Chapter 2, leads to a variety of health, social, and work-related benefits. Finally, savoring can also have a decidedly social flavor, and can encourage celebration and sharing the positive moment. Many coaches have used some form of celebration in their own work. Some coaches walk clients through an imaginary party to celebrate a success, while others encourage an actual celebration, perhaps by giving a small gift. No matter what creative celebration you employ with your clients, it can be important to remember that the sharing of a savoring moment is at the root of the success of this type of coaching intervention. Savoring, as it turns out, comes in a variety of flavors. Not only can we savor many different things, but the experience itself varies. Fred Bryant, an expert on savoring at the University of Chicago, has spent years conducting studies on savoring, and has found that it comes in various shades.5 While most of us think of 151

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savoring as a nod to the present moment or a walk down memory lane, Bryant looks at the different aspects of savoring and has drawn insight from his scientific observations. The act and experience of savoring, according to Bryant, changes in character depending, in part, on the focus of the savoring. We can savor external experiences, such as interactions with others, or internal accomplishments, and the focus of our attention will dictate the type of savoring we will experience. It is interesting to think of gratitude and basking as different sides of the same savoring coin. Another type of savoring is focused on the past, and can be thought of as positive reminiscence. Positive reminiscence involves calling up good times and personal successes from long ago. This kind of living in the past is not necessarily a bad thing, despite its muddy reputation. By contrast, dwelling on the past, especially on personal failures, hardships, and losses can take a toll on your well-being; but savoring past successes can be an emotional boon. Take the example of Laura, a coaching client who was interested in developing a workshop for women employees of large companies. Laura had great ideas for role-plays and activities, but still felt uncertain about her chances of success. “What if I fail?” she wondered. She worried about how her ideas might be received and whether or not her activities would have the desired effect. As coaches, there is little we can do to predict the future accurately. We don’t know whether workshops will be well received or if they will fall flat. The best any of us can do is put on a courageous face and give it our best shot. One way to help your clients feel confident is to lead them through a guided meditation or have them recount a story about a time when they were successful. By savoring the past, really concentrating on the details of the experience, clients can feel restored and excited about challenge. But how do we savor the past effectively, and is it a skill that can be learned? Many people assume that savoring is fairly straightforward: Simply think of pleasant events from the past 152

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and you’re done. As it turns out, the process of savoring the past is more than a simple psychological basting in good memories. Point 1: Whether or not savoring comes naturally to your client, you rest easy knowing that there are several types of savoring, and many ways to engage in this activity. If one intervention doesn’t work, keep trying others.

Interestingly, one crucial way to guarantee effective savoring of the past, is to build memories in the present. That is, when a feelgood success comes your way, you can take the time to appreciate it in the moment, and store it away for future use. By replaying the event or paying close attention to the details, it will be easier for you and your client to recall later. Another way to build memories is to share the positive experience with others. In sharing, most people typically make a story out of the events, and narratives are sometimes easier to recall than flashbulb images of long ago. An additional benefit of sharing experiences with friends, colleagues, and family members is that they frequently initiate the savoring process for you. You might see a coworker annually at a trade show, but it always feels good when she reminds you how impressed she was with your performance the previous year. It is probably easy for you to recall a time when you and a colleague or friend or spouse took a walk down memory lane and ended up feeling good about yourselves. You might consider assigning your client homework in which she solicits such a story from a friend or colleague. The last type of savoring strategy is very different from the first two. Bryant calls it “blocking interfering stimuli,” and this can mean setting the stage for effective savoring by limiting distractions.6 No one wants to enjoy a child’s school play or eat at a wonderful restaurant while getting calls from work. Understanding that life can interfere with effective savoring highlights the fact that positive psychology is not just about being blindly positive and ignoring troubles. 153

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Understanding that savoring is best done in certain settings, and that some environments can interfere with savoring can help you and your clients to engage in this activity more effectively. It is possible to work with your clients to create a space for savoring, one free of noise and other distractions. The idea of a savoringfriendly environment also reminds us that we can fall out of the habit of savoring our experiences as we become habituated to the world around us. Exciting social connections and the feeling of rapid growth that come with a new job eventually wear off, and we tend to forget to pay careful attention to the surroundings we have adapted to. Fortunately, it is possible to suggest a variety of ways of “waking up” to the world to your clients. Point 2: Successful savoring can be a matter of setting the stage appropriately. Taking time out from hectic daily life and being open to new ways of looking at the world are two great preconditions for savoring.

APPRECIATING THE PRESENT

How many times have you come across a client who complains that work is getting him down? Occasionally clients feel like work is drudgery and often want a change. For some people, what starts as an exciting professional opportunity erodes away over the years into monotony. This natural tendency happens as a result of our natural psychological ability to adapt. In fact, if anything, it is the hidden dark side to an otherwise useful process. The longer we stay in a job, the more we adapt. The opportunities and activities that once were challenging, exciting, or novel become old hat. The core of the problem is not always how the client sees it—that the job is awful—but rather that the work is no longer fresh. Losing sight of the fact that there is much to appreciate in the present moment is a pitfall for all of us. The good news is that it is a relatively simple matter to get out of this kind of rut and feel 154

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more awake to our daily lives. Many coaches will be familiar with activities designed to help clients approach their lives outside of habit. Having your clients park on a new street, go to a new restaurant, or subscribe to a new magazine are simple ways of introducing a novel perspective. There are even more involved coaching interventions aimed at waking your clients up. One such intervention is called the “camera technique.” In this technique, you suggest to your client that she take a digital or disposable camera and choose an everyday object to take photos of. She might choose a sofa, her kitchen, her office, or her car. Encourage her to snap shots from unusual angles and view the object in a new way. What does her desk look like when lying down on the floor? What does the view look like while sitting in the trunk of the car? What do all the pots and pans look like turned upside down and resting on the bed? Learning to appreciate the common items of our lives can stimulate creativity and engagement. Not only that, but learning to appreciate life in the present sets the stage for positive reminiscence about the past. The better you and your clients are at savoring the moment, the better you will be at storing the memories and accessing them later on. Appreciating the present can also come to us spontaneously, and never more clearly than in the case of awe. Chances are, you and your clients don’t talk about awe much. Awe is an interesting feeling and can have powerful after effects. We can feel awe in the presence of greatness, whether it is standing in front of the Himalayan mountains or watching someone help a blind person cross the street. Jon Haidt, author of the profound book The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom has studied awe scientifically, and discovered many interesting things.7 According to Haidt, people experience a sense of “moral elevation” when they are exposed to a form of greatness that inspires them. Typically, these are acts that have a positive moral character such as acts of kindness, forgiveness, loyalty, or courage. And, for anyone who has seen the Grand Canyon or Michelangelo’s David, it will come as no surprise that beauty can elicit this response as well. 155

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There are many concepts in psychology, such as defense mechanisms and the subconscious, that have trickled into the popular imagination. One of these is called social comparison, and it is the act of gauging personal success by evaluating the success of those around you. Most people are familiar with this concept and it is frequently applied to income. We feel bad, the common wisdom goes, if we are poorer than our neighbors. This is called upward comparison, and it occurs when we contrast ourselves with someone in a superior position. What has not trickled down is the exciting research on social comparison from positive psychology. Studies of breast cancer patients show that sometimes people use upward comparisons as inspiration and motivation. Rather than feeling bad when comparing themselves to patients in remission, many women in the study felt encouraged by their peers’ success.8 But what is awe? Haidt tells us that it is an emotional experience that feels warm and pleasant, and that people sometimes feel physical symptoms in their chest or a “choking up.”9 Perhaps the most exciting news about moral elevation is the effect it has on those who feel it. People who experience awe often feel renewed motivation to improve themselves and the world around them. In this way, witnessing an act of kindness encourages us to emulate the act and to work to make ourselves better people. This has a profound consequence for coaches. Haidt’s research implicitly challenges us to act in an “awe-some” way as a means of encouraging our clients to take positive action. Take a moment and think of the times that you felt moved by a friend who started a nonprofit organization, volunteered his time to a worthy cause, or completed a marathon. In the same way, you can use strategic self-disclosure or short anecdotes to inspire your clients. Point 3: When clients notice that others around them have enjoyed more success, you can use it as an opportunity for inspiration. You can ask your clients about times that the success of others has moved and motivated them. You can also study the actions and qualities of successful people as a wellspring of ideas.

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Coaching to Personal Strengths OPTIMISM

Martin Seligman, the founder of positive psychology, had his beginnings in research psychology studying dogs.10 In particular, he studied the way that the animals seemed to give up hope under certain circumstances. For instance, if a dog were given a series of harmless shocks that it could stop by pressing a lever it would recover from the experience quite quickly. Alternately, a dog who was given the same shocks, but had no control over them, would eventually give up. In fact, Seligman found that animals would eventually not even attempt to avoid shocks, even when they had the power to do so. He termed this attitude “learned helplessness.” Years later, as he was turning to more positive research topics, Seligman thought about the possibility that hope could be learned as well as helplessness. He began studying optimism, and his research eventually convinced him that positive aspects of human nature were highly worthwhile.11 Optimism is a wonderful strength, and coaches who can instill optimism in their clients can easily grow a successful practice full of satisfied clients. In fact, if you think about it, there is an implicit assumption of optimism when a prospective client contacts you. There is an unspoken message that says, “Hey! This might work, and I hope it does.” Building from that initial phone call or faceto-face meeting, coaches can use encouragement and a variety of other techniques to kindle the fires of optimism, and open the gates to success for clients. Research by Seligman and other positive psychologists suggests that optimism can be learned, and it is beneficial to do so.12 What, exactly, is optimism? Is it a case of naively overlooking the cruelty in the world? Is it a matter of being out of touch with the fact that even our good ideas can fail? Indeed, sometimes dispositionally positive folks are branded as unthinking Pollyannas, but such criticisms miss out on the truth about optimism. Optimism is so much more than a positive outlook on the future or a lack of critical thinking. Instead, optimism is a critical strength that lies at the heart of motivation, perseverance, and, ultimately, 157

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success in life. Without a sense that everything will turn out all right in the future, most people would be unwilling to take risks, create new ideas, or make changes. Everything from having children to changing careers to accepting a promotion to developing a new program is predicated—at least in some very fundamental way—on the belief that success is not only possible, but probable. Positive psychology researchers Charles Carver and Michael Scheier have studied optimism for years, and link it to perseverance, a strength in its own right.13 According to Carver and Scheier, the ability to persevere at a task, even in the face of doubt or hardship, is predicated on two things: commitment and confidence. If you believe in your ability to succeed and are committed to doing the work required for success, then you are likely going to plug away even in tough times. But let’s back up and think about that for a moment. Confidence, as we have just said, is about believing in yourself, and your ability to succeed in the future. Take this a step further and self-confidence and optimism are intimately related to one another. Having high self-esteem is more than just liking yourself, it suggests a future-oriented mindset wherein you believe you will be capable down the road as well. This is similar to the work of another great positive psychologist, the late C. R. Snyder. Snyder built a career studying hope.14 You might expect that a theory of hope would be built on people’s positive attitudes. You might think that having a bubbly personality is vital to maintaining hope for the future. Interestingly, Snyder’s theory of hope emphasized the importance of personal agency, that is, the capacity to reach your goals as an integral part of optimism. The more people feel capable of successes, the more they will cling to a sense of hope. Understood this way, the strength of optimism becomes crucial to understanding good coaching and why it works. Effective coaches work with clients to take stock of personal resources, build self-confidence, and encourage them to believe that success is possible. In short, coaching is largely about instilling a sense of optimism, which is in turn a critical component of perseverance. 158

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Coaching to Personal Strengths Point 4: Most people think about optimism as being a favorable attitude toward the future. Another way to look at it is that optimism is about having a favorable attitude toward yourself and believing that you can and will be successful in the future.

You probably have experienced working with a client who suddenly gets a burst of enthusiasm. You probably understand that a little encouragement, or reminding a client of a past success, can go a long way toward increasing optimism. But what happens inside the client as he makes this transformation from nervously anticipating the future to embracing excitement over the possibility of success? Positive psychology researchers studying the way people think have long been interested in precisely this question. Psychologists Chris Peterson and Tracy Steen have written about the mechanisms that underlie optimism.15 Explanatory style, according to Peterson and Steen, is at the heart of optimism. Explanatory style is the way in which folks mentally explain all the things that happen to them: speeding tickets, surprise parties, stolen credit cards, favorable traffic lights, pay raises, and all the other many events that occur throughout the day. Pessimistic people tend to have a mental habit of taking the blame for bad events and chalking the good ones up to dumb luck. Dispositional optimists, on the other hand, are likely to explain good events as personal and inevitable. An optimistic explanatory style is obviously preferable because it is associated with greater happiness, engagement, and perseverance. It makes sense to wonder whether we can change our explanatory style. As coaches, we certainly hope so, or else we are just going to be banging our heads against a wall trying to transform dismal clients into plucky ones. To understand if and how explanatory styles are a matter of choice, we have to know where they come from. There are, according to Peterson and Steen, many origins of explanatory style. To some degree, positivity and negativity have a genetic component, and some folks are born 159

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with a rosier outlook than others. The families we grow up in also influence the way we explain the world, with parents modeling upbeat or downcast ways of interpreting the world for their children. Because explanatory style reflects how we perceive the world, people who view the environment in which they live as hostile, uncertain, or unsafe are at greater risk for pessimism. In particular, people who have been the victims of trauma or who are heavily exposed to media accounts—factual or fictional—of violence, are at risk for a more negative interpretation of events. These insights into the origins of explanatory style tell us about how, and how much, we can change our attitudes about the future. Because some amount of optimism is genetically determined, it is unreasonable to expect very negative clients to make a 180degree change. But still, some change is possible. Good modeling can influence a shift toward positive thinking, and clients who surround themselves with optimistic people have a better chance of learning the skill. Feedback and interactions between coaches and clients can also help to plant the seeds of a more positive explanatory style. As a coach, you can use a variety of tools to promote optimism. Part of the job of change agents interested in optimal functioning is to be alert to instances of overt pessimism. You can challenge your client when you hear him use selfdeprecating language. You can praise your client and encourage him. You can label his good qualities, and ask him to tell a story about a past success. You can assign homework related to paying attention to other people’s explanatory styles. The wonderful thing about coaching is that it is one of the few places in modern culture where it is safe and appropriate to openly praise, celebrate personal achievement, and speak authentically about strengths without having to couch the discussion in humility. If nothing else, the coaching session provides a perfect context for fostering optimism. Optimism does not necessarily mean blindly hoping for the best or developing an unrealistic expectation for the future. In fact, there are times when optimism is inappropriate. Psychologists 160

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Charles Carver and Mark Scheier write about the importance of giving up from time to time.16 Most folks think giving up is a form of failure, and many people are reluctant to become a quitter. Surprisingly, this cultural leaning actually can be harmful to your clients. Have you ever had a client who continued to work halfheartedly toward an important goal, caught perpetually in a cycle of wasted effort and lack of progress? Why did he or she do this? Many clients fear the prospect of giving up just as much as they fear the possibility of failure in the future. The mindset that tells us that giving up is akin to failure can trap people in the worst possible way. Fortunately, there is a solution to this dilemma. Carver and Scheier distinguish between “giving up effort” and “giving up commitment.”17 For people who view giving up a commitment to a goal as a kind of failure, the alternative is often giving up effort. You may have experience with clients who suddenly back off an important goal, or make only a cursory, half-hearted effort to work on it. Psychologically, this makes sense. Reducing effort, the mental message reads, is better than giving up on the goal entirely. Carver and Scheier argue against scaling back on effort as short sighted and ultimately destructive. If goals are important motivational targets, and the source of much meaning and purpose in our lives, why on earth would we want to give them lackluster effort? Instead, the researchers recommend focusing on the “giving up commitment” side of the equation. At first blush, the idea of giving up an important goal seems just as bad, or worse, than scaling back on effort. It is natural for people to become wedded to their beloved goals, and the idea of abandoning them can seem like a betrayal. Carver and Scheier talk about a clever way to reframe the change, focusing instead on replacing, rather than giving up the goal. The truth is, almost everybody works toward multiple goals simultaneously. Some are work related, others revolve around the family, and still others center around personal growth or recreation. Giving up the commitment to one goal often means no more than redirecting that same energy into other valuable 161

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goals, or developing a new goal worthy of effort. You can use this distinction in your work with clients who feel ambivalent about their goals. Point 5: For many people, scaling back on effort is preferable to giving up a goal completely. However, this strategy rarely leads to success. Instead, it might be more fruitful to replace the old goal with one more worthy of full effort.

Research from positive psychology tells us that there is a bevy of important personal strengths that are frequently overlooked in our work with clients. While it makes sense to harness creativity and curiosity there are other, more subtle resources at our disposal. Each of us is a person existing in a timeline, and how we relate to the past, present, and future can have important consequences on our quality of life. The happiest, most successful people tend to be those who reminisce positively about the past, savor the present, and are optimistic about the future.

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ACTION STEPS FOR POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY COACHES 1. Pay attention to the language your clients use, and attempt to determine their time orientation. Coaching is a largely future-focused endeavor, and it may be useful to remind yourself and your clients to enjoy the present and harness the positive experiences they have had in the past. 2. Savoring is a great place to try fun, experiential interventions with your clients. Encourage your clients to pursue activities that are enjoyable, and to use savoring to plumb them for all they are worth. Brainstorm ideas with them for breaking out of old habits and adding novelty to their daily routine. Savoring and appreciation will naturally follow. 3. Consider harnessing the motivational power of awe. Collect powerful short anecdotes to share in sessions, or solicit them from your clients. Create an environment where the excellence of others becomes a point for inspiration rather than competition. 4. Think of the times that friends and mentors have believed in you and complimented you. Remember how that praise translated to increased self-confidence, and ultimately to greater feelings of agency and optimism. How can you pass this gift along to your clients? 5. Take time and think about both persevering and giving up. How do we know when we ought to continue striving? How do our personal resources factor into this decision? When is it wise to throw in the towel? How can you work with your clients to reframe giving up goals as replacing goals? How can you work with your clients around the idea of scaling back effort versus scaling back commitment?

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FURTHER READING Bryant, F., & Veroff, J. (2007). Savoring: A new model of positive experience. New Jersey: Erlbaum. A terrific overview of the research on savoring. Haidt, J. (2006). The happiness hypothesis: Finding modern truth in ancient wisdom. New York: Basic Books. A witty, intelligent, and extremely readable book about several core ideas that have withstood the test of time. Seligman, M. E. P. (1998) Learned optimism: How to change your mind and your life. New York: Free Press. A great overview of optimism: How it works and how to get it.

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CHAPTER SEVEN


Countless stories and films tell the tale of some unlucky soul who ends up stranded on a deserted island, forced to struggle for survival, and who hopes to escape back to civilization. From Robinson Caruso to the Swiss Family Robinson to the popular television show Lost, we are captivated by narratives of survival. But, have you ever noticed that many of these tales are not really stories of survival? Interestingly, the majority of these thrilling adventures are set on islands that are rich in natural resources where survival is only a matter of industriousness. Castaways typically set about exploring the terrain, quickly building a shelter, and successfully obtaining food. Instead, the real drama lies in the social isolation of being stranded. Sure, the occasional shark sighting or tropical storm is fun for a jolt, but these stories rest on a single pivotal plot point: rescue. Shipwrecked and stranded souls want—more than anything—to be reunited with the rest of humanity. And we, the legions of viewers and readers, desperately want them back. We hope they build a sturdy raft or sight a ship 165

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on the horizon. Castaway stories highlight the social nature of being human. When you consider all of the character strengths there are many, such as those we discussed in the previous chapter, that are personal, welling up inside you and ready to be used even if you are alone. These are just the type of strengths that would help you if you were stranded on some remote island. It would be your perseverance, optimism, and creativity that would see you through. And then, there are those strengths that are entirely social in nature that can only be employed in the company of others. What good would strong leadership skills be, for instance, if you were stranded in the South pacific? What about social intelligence? How might you use fairness to your advantage? Clearly, there are a set of strengths that are best employed—or, perhaps, can only be used—in a social setting. Where do these strengths come from, and how might we best focus on them with our clients? Time and again, research and common sense tell us that humans are animals that group together, in families, at work, in governance, and on teams. Like our primate cousins, nature did not intend for us to wander the world alone, and we are often at our best when we are in social situations. In fact, people are so social by nature that much of what we think and do—our desires, strengths, talents, skills, and goals—revolves around other people. Many of our greatest joys are the products of being in relationships: winning a game, attending a birthday party or graduation, receiving praise from a parent, supervisor, or spouse. We even have a tendency to monitor what we say and how we act, even if no one is around, on the off chance that someone in the next car or next room is paying attention. In short, our relationships with one another, whether they are based on family ties or the office hierarchy, have an enormous impact on our health and well-being, and vice versa. Fortunately, none of us has to contend with the burden of thousands of meaningful relationships. In fact, we couldn’t even if we

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wanted to. Research shows that our biological makeup, specifically that of the neocortex of our brains, acts as a cap to the number of people we can befriend. Robin Dunbar, an evolutionary psychology researcher at the University of Liverpool, warns that 150 (147.8 to be exact) people is the maximum that our brains can effectively deal with in any meaningful way.1 So compelling is his argument that organizations ranging from the military to W.L. Gore & Associates (the makers of Gore-Tex) have used this magic number to create optimal teams. What this means for the rest of us is that if we have about 150 meaningful relationships coming to us, we ought to make them count. It is an additional motivating factor to employ our social strengths with our family, friends, and coworkers. Because so much of coaching centers on workplace concerns, we ought to point out that relationships on the job are just as important as those that are off the clock. Most coaches know that effective businesses and teams are made up of people who get along with one another and can work well together, in spite of personal differences. Both team building and conflict resolution have long been mainstays of organizational development. But the emphasis on relationships at work is more than a managerial decision sent to the employees in a staff memo. It turns out that workers value relationships highly. British business psychologist Martin Stairs reports that the largest influence on work satisfaction is relationships with managers, followed closely by relationships with colleagues.2 Thus, coaching your clients around strengths that will help them flourish socially is something that is likely already on their radar.

YOUR CLIENT AS A SOCIAL ANIMAL How did we come to be so social? And how do we reconcile this natural sense of connectedness with other cultural messages telling us we can strike out on our own and pursue the spouse or

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career of our choosing? How do we make sense of the fact that, as a species, we are inclined toward group living, but as a culture, we are heavily invested in individualism? Our natural tendency toward kinship and friendship has its roots in evolution. As early humans developed, it was a distinct advantage to live in groups. By forming clans, our cave dwelling ancestors could divide labor, expand the genetic pool, increase their chances of success at hunting, and manage a better defense against predators and enemies. Eventually, the advantages of group living and cooperation gave birth to culture in the form of expectations and roles for each member of the community. Take the example of the Inuit people living in Northern Greenland. These Inuit have, for hundreds if not thousands of years, eked out a living hunting and fishing in an inhospitable landscape. Alone, it would be impossible for a person to survive year after year. But the Inuit banded together and, over time, even developed specific cultural roles for members of the community that would help the group flourish. Children were encouraged to play games that would develop their hunting skills for use later in life. The adults worked together in cooperation and competition in ways that benefited the community. For instance, the best hunter of the tribe would receive the admiration of the group, a powerful incentive for the young men to work hard at hunting. When a kill was made, the air of competition turned to cooperation. The Inuit developed a strict system for equitably dividing food. And what about the elderly? Where might their place be in such a society? The elderly helped by gazing out to sea as they rested and chatted, so that they might spot whales and walruses and alert the hunters. In this way, culture provides scripts for acting alone and interacting with others. Culture, perhaps, does not receive enough attention in coaching. Sure, good coaches are aware that some of their clients come from different ethnic or linguistic backgrounds, but many of us overlook the many other ways in which culture might influence our interactions. Culture is much more than differences in dress, 168

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cuisine, religion, and language. Culture is a lens through which we view the world, and it affects our values, our sense of identity, the degree to which we believe life is preordained or under personal control, how we relate with others, and even how we feel. People learn their specific culture through socialization, and humans have the longest socialization period of any species. It takes us years of imitating and mimicking the actions of those around us to learn which behaviors are appropriate and to internalize cultural messages about our place in the world and what we ought to be striving for. The reason we bring this up is not to bore you with an academic walk through the history of the development of culture, but to highlight how culture is socially acquired. This has implications for coaching because our profession is one that is, at its heart, based on a social relationship. If people learn cultural messages through interactions, then your coaching sessions are an ideal place to foster a can-do attitude. If culture provides scripts for appropriate thinking, feeling, and behaving, then it makes sense to consider what type of culture you would like to establish in your coaching sessions with your clients. Is your coaching culture one that is warm and supportive? Is it fastpaced and challenging? Is it playful and funny? One of the terrific things about coaching is that it is a place where the old social rules can be thrown out in favor of exciting, positive, growth-enhancing scripts. It is a place where you can literally make up the rules for social interactions and tailor them so that they bring out the best in you and your clients. Studies in cultural psychology support the idea that culture can have a profound impact. Steve Heine and Darrin Lehman, both researchers from the University of British Columbia, found that time spent in another culture could actually raise or lower a person’s self-esteem. In one study, Heine and Lehman found that when Japanese people, who come from a relatively low selfesteem culture, traveled to Canada, their confidence went up.3 On the other hand, when Canadians, who represent a relatively high 169

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self-esteem culture, went abroad to Japan, their scores fell. The researchers found an even more compelling change in self-esteem. Heine and Lehman found the same effect of culture across many generations of immigrants. Third-generation Asian-Canadians had higher self-esteem than those who were second generation who, in turn, had higher self-esteem than those who had just moved to Canada who, in turn, had higher self-esteem than Japanese people who had traveled but never lived aboard who, in turn, had higher self-esteem than Japanese people who had never been abroad. This suggests that the longer a person is exposed to another way of looking at the world, the more he or she will adopt it. In other words, the more your clients surround themselves with visionary, optimistic high achievers, the more they will fall in line with this way of thinking. Point 1: Mere exposure to a cultural message of success, positivity, and self-esteem can raise your clients’ spirits and confidence.

Let’s take a moment to examine the type of culture in which the majority of us live, the culture that best describes Canada, the United States, Australia, and Western Europe. The aspect of culture that each of these places bears in common is individualism. Individualism promotes the view that people are independently functioning agents.4 Most of us were taught that we are distinct from one another, and that it is this uniqueness that defines us. In fact, so ingrained is this way of thinking that it may seem odd to hear that in other parts of the world, “special-ness” is something to be avoided. On our side of the cultural divide, individualists are taught to form independent opinions and follow personal dreams. This has upsides and downsides. Among the many advantages of an individualistic way of thinking are democratic politics, social equality, opportunities to develop unique talents, and chances for pride and personal fulfillment. The downside, however, is a tendency to think about your goals over those of the group. This, in 170

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turn, leads to higher rates of divorce, homelessness, and suicide in individualistic countries. Coaching already takes advantage of the many good qualities of individualism. But, it is precisely because there is a dark side to individualism that coaching to social strengths is so important.

RECOGNIZING AND VALUING SOCIAL STRENGTHS Social strengths are the unsung heroes of positive culture. People who are interpersonally savvy, who can motivate, inspire, and handle conflict sensitively, act as role models for the rest of us. Each time we take the moral high road with a friend or colleague, and each time we act kindly, gratefully, or generously, we set the stage for others to follow in our footsteps. Michael West, the director of research at the Aston School of Business in Birmingham, England, has spent much of his career investigating workplace culture, and he has discovered the powerful effect we can have on one another. Positive feelings, according to West, pay off. Employees who enjoy their jobs create an atmosphere in which people work collaboratively and constructively with one another.5 It is a case of a little kindness and enthusiasm going a long way. West also found that offices with a supportive learning environment, arguably the product of interpersonal virtues, is important to worker satisfaction. Actively using interpersonal strengths is more than winning over others and achieving personal gain, when employed effectively social strengths are a winwin for everyone involved. Social strengths may be so influential because they tend to be more visible than the types of intrapersonal virtues we discussed in the previous chapter. Leadership, unlike modesty, is an overt strength accompanied by a set of obvious skills. Consider the example of American civil rights activist Martin Luther King Jr. He is widely admired for his role in championing the plight of disenfranchised people. But it is not necessarily his quiet inside strengths that he is famous for. People tend not to mention creativity, zest, or 171

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curiosity when speaking of his remarkable achievements. Instead, the focus usually drifts to his social strengths—leadership, kindness, and fairness. This is natural, the result of our tendency to recognize the most obvious qualities in a person. In fact, it gives a double meaning to King’s “I have a dream” speech, in which he said, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” Indeed, today we often judge people on the basis of their character. And we usually know a good deal about a person’s character from his behaviors. Social strengths are often outwardly manifested in an obvious way through action. It is easy to see social strengths in action. People lead; they forgive; they act kindly. In fact, social strengths are so overt, and so powerful, that they can affect us even across time and across the page. Many coaches work with inspiring stories, and we would like to include one of our own here. It is a well-known story. On November 19, 1863, thenpresident Abraham Lincoln visited the fields where the fierce Civil War battle of Gettysburg was fought, and gave his famous address: Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth, upon this continent, a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of it, as a final resting place for those who died here, that the nation might live. This we may, in all propriety do. But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow, this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have hallowed it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here; while it can never forget what they did here. It is rather for us the living, we here be dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they here gave the last

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Coaching to Social Strengths full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain, that this nation shall have a new birth of freedom, and that government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth.6

Even today, nearly 150 years after Lincoln spoke before the crowd in that Pennsylvania field, his words have the power to evoke a deep feeling of emotion. It is not just that they are eloquently written or that they were flawlessly spoken. “The Gettysburg Address” resonates with us because it unites us. It bonds us together and reminds us of our relationship to one another. For American citizens, it unites us by tugging on the noblest parts of our patriotism and shared history. Even non-Americans are affected by the speech; it unites all of us by tapping experiences— sacrifice and perseverance—that are common to all people. In short, Lincoln’s speech is a perfect example of excellent leadership, one man’s ability to bring out the best in everyone. And, leadership is, of course, a social strength. Social strengths are not only valuable in their own right but also for the outcomes they produce. Social strengths help individuals, enable relationships and groups to work well, and promote the welfare of communities. In other words, individual strengths are not enough to function well in society. Your client must also develop his social strengths to maximize his chances of flourishing. By recognizing his social strengths, your client will be able to identify areas of natural ability he might want to develop. Working with your client to illustrate the power of social strengths will help him value them, and motivate him to increase those he has.

COACHING SOCIAL STRENGTHS Anyone who has worked on leadership development will tell you that interpersonal strengths can be coached. Some people might have more natural talent than others, but everyone has the potential to grow in interactions with others. Social interactions make 173

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up a very important component of effective leadership. It is not merely good ideas, passion, and personal energy that make for good management. Good leaders are group focused as well as mission driven. Jill Garret, the director of the British firm Caret Consulting, conducted research for the Department of Trade and Industry on how leaders can use their best strengths to inspire and motivate others. Her team looked at 18 candidate qualities and found that the three top-ranked leader attributes were highly social in nature: enabling others, being a team builder, and being socially adaptable.7 Whether you work with executives, small business owners, or are a life coach, it is possible to work with your clients to develop social skills and tap natural interpersonal talents in an effort to be more effective. One strategy for coaching to social strengths is to use the session to consider social interactions in general. Psychologists have long talked about social roles, a set of norms that defines how people are supposed to behave in a particular social situation.8 Supervisors expect to behave one way, customers expect to behave another. You can work with your clients to examine the roles they play with bosses, coworkers, spouses, and friends. Are they expected to be cooperative, competitive, subservient, or innovative? How might they modify these roles to best employ their signature strengths, and what might the consequences of such a revision be? Do you think your clients have a self-interested view of the roles they play, or an other-interested view? It is an easy matter to shift your client’s focus to her impact on others by pointing out the social roles she plays, and how this contributes to larger group efforts, whether they are related to family or work. Researcher and business consultant Meredith Belbin has used his work with managers to identify nine roles that are common to work teams.9 Of these nine roles, three are specifically social in nature: the coordinator (leaders who help people stay task oriented), the team worker (a team player who listens well and works to solve conflict), and the resource investigator (networkers who are energetic and enthused by the possibility of new ideas). You might 174

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consider working with your clients to identify and label the roles they fill in this same manner as a springboard to a discussion of how to get the most out of them and how best to apply their unique social gifts. COACHING SOCIAL STRENGTHS WITH THE VIA

In the early stages of developing the VIA classification of strengths and virtues, psychologists Chris Peterson and Martin Seligman read religious texts, classics, works of philosophy, and government constitutions. As they began creating a list of candidate strengths, they noticed that some of the positive qualities they were studying seemed to bear something in common with one another. Take as an example courage, a virtue widely valued around the world. Peterson and Seligman noticed that other virtues, such as persistence and honesty, had an element of courage seeded within them. This realization led them to organizing the VIA in terms of related themes. The courage theme subsumes the specific strengths of bravery, persistence, integrity, and vitality. Similarly, Peterson and Seligman grouped the social strengths together.10 According to the creators of the VIA, there are actually two types of social strengths: those that are related to relationship building, and those that concern community building. Peterson and Seligman call the relationship building virtues “strengths of humanity,” and they include love, kindness, and social intelligence. Community building strengths, on the other hand are called “strengths of justice” in the VIA, and include citizenship, fairness, and leadership. These strengths are used in a context that extends beyond one-to-one or small group interactions. Strengths of justice can be employed toward a general group, even if no single, identifiable individual will be the recipient. Chris Peterson explains the distinction between strengths of humanity and strengths of justice as being a focus on “between people” and “among people.”11 Because some of these strengths, 175

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such as leadership and social/emotional intelligence, have been written about so extensively elsewhere, we will focus on only a few strengths in this chapter. Point 2: There are two types of social strengths: Strengths that build relationships, and those that build communities.

As a coach, you can work with your clients around both types of social strengths. In fact, it might be helpful to give your clients some background information on the two types of social strengths so that they fully appreciate how complex, valuable, and fascinating social strengths are. This has the added benefit of reinforcing the notion that building strengths is a worthwhile tactic. Many people, including some of your clients, will argue that it does not make sense to invest effort in what already comes naturally. The common wisdom around this issue suggests that our time might be better spent overcoming weaknesses. Alex Linley, the positive psychology researcher and director of the Center for Applied Positive Psychology in England, says that the logic underlying these weakness-focused arguments is the belief that weaknesses are powerful enough to wreck even our best efforts and, therefore, must be guarded against. This ethos, according to Linley, is passed down to managers, adopted by employees, and even colors our vision at home.12 But, in many cases, this simply isn’t so. Frequently, our roles at home and work can be modified slightly so that personal weaknesses are more than compensated for by strengths. On the other hand, if you have a client for whom leadership does not come naturally, it makes sense to work a bit on leadership skills. How then, are you supposed to know when to coach toward strengths and when to work on overcoming deficits? It may be helpful to think about this concept in terms of competency. Try figuring out with your clients what minimum level of competency is necessary for their particular role at work or 176

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home, whether that is sales manager or husband and father. Find out what behaviors and outcomes would indicate whether your client is competent at his job or not. If, for instance, your client is in a position, such as supervisor, that requires interpersonal skills that do not come naturally to him, it might make sense to work on developing social and emotional intelligence. If, on the other hand, your client is in a job where he interfaces with the public, and kindness is one of his signature strengths, then it might make sense to explore ways to plumb that gift for all it is worth. Kindness may be able to win sales even in the absence of high social intelligence. Working with your clients early on to establish whether a strengths-based focus is the best prescription for your work together is a great starting point. In many cases where working on strengths is called for, introducing your clients to the two types of social strengths can make for rich coaching sessions.

STRENGTHS OF HUMANITY People who are naturally strong in “strengths of humanity” are those who care for their relationships. You probably know people like this: folks who always send a thank you card, who call occasionally “just to check up,” and who are kind and pleasant to be around. For these individuals, caring relationships are important, and their strengths play to developing and maintaining friendships, marriages, and workplace collegiality. In return, we often feel a sense of loyalty to and appreciation for these types of people. We admire their empathy, sensitivity, and compassion. They are the people we commonly turn to when we have problems, and they are the folks we want at emotionally charged work meetings. It may have occurred to you that many of the people we think of as paragons of these virtues are women. There is a stereotype that women are, on average, more focused on relationships and more kind and considerate than men. Interestingly, psychologist Shelly Taylor, who recently received the Clifton Strengths Prize, 177

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considered by many to be the Nobel Prize of positive psychology, might have found an explanation for this. Undoubtedly, you know about the “fight-or-flight” stress reaction, the way people either run or become aggressive in the face of a threat. Taylor found that fight or flight was more common in males, while females showed a very different reaction to stress, that she calls “tend and befriend.” According to Chris Peterson and Martin Seligman, strengths of humanity consist of love, kindness, and social intelligence:13 • Love: Although the word love is not something that is batted around the office a lot, or that executive coaches deal with on a daily basis, the VIA strength of love is more than teenage infatuation or an office affair. If you take the time to consider it, you will realize that there are many types of love, and most of them are not steeped in sexual attraction. There is the companionate love of best friends14 and the love a parent and child feel for one another.15 Love, in the strengths sense of the word, involves a variety of positive feelings and actions including affection, protection, support, and sacrifice. Although, as a coach, you will probably not use the word love too often with executive or corporate clients, you can easily use words like support and sacrifice without raising anyone’s hackles. You might consider, for example, asking your client what she would be willing to sacrifice to help a coworker or friend. This too, can be a measure of a person’s love, if even the platonic type. Although the capacity to love and be loved is initially acquired from childhood caregivers, it is also a quality that can be developed later in life.16 To the extent that your clients interact with people who respond to them warmly, they are in a position to increase this strength for them. Thus, one way to work with your client around the strength of love is to take the temperature of her social waters to see if she surrounds herself with caring individuals. If so, you might

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question her on what she learns from them and how she can apply these lessons to her own life. If not, you might work with her on how she can change the quality of her social connections. Bear in mind the fact that love tends to cluster together with gratitude. That is, people who are high in one strength are often high on the other. Although researchers have not yet unraveled the links between these two virtues, it is possible that interventions that work to promote gratitude might also increase a sense of connection with others. To the extent that this might be true, you can use the gratitude intervention described in Chapter 4 when working with clients on their positive relationships with family members and colleagues. • Kindness: Make no mistake, kindness is not the same thing as letting others walk all over you. For some reason, many people view kindness as a kind of weakness. For the rest of us, kindness is such an obvious aspiration that people take it for granted. Why should we praise one another for simple kindnesses when that is the bare minimum that is expected of us? The answer is that kindness is immensely beneficial to relationships, and that it deserves to be celebrated. Kindness is a strength that is about more than idle pleasantries and smiling. Instead, kindness is about a genuine compassion toward others. Kind people can be generous, caring, and altruistic. That’s right, it is people who score highly on measures of kindness who are the most likely to lend a helping hand when you need one. In fact, people who score high in kindness also tend to be those who are good at moral reasoning.17 This means that kindness extends well beyond a simple predisposition to sweetness and into the high moral territory of connectedness and compassion. For coaches, kindness is an easy sell: It is a terrific place to compliment your clients and it is a simple matter to argue that kindness is associated with outcomes your clients value.

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Generosity is a particular brand of kindness, and one worth discussing further because it is an easy topic to coach around. Generosity, as it turns out, is associated with both empathy18 and happiness.19 Giving to others, whether by mentoring a new employee at work or setting up a charitable foundation, can be intensely rewarding for your clients. Not only does generosity connect us with others, but it can give us a boost of self-confidence. Think about the times in your life when you were best able to help others, whether it was moving furniture into a new apartment, donating money to charity, or teaching marketing strategy to new coaches, it was likely a period of time in your life when things were going well. It was a period when you had enough time, expertise, and money to share the wealth with others. When people act generously, it can be a signal that they are flourishing, and it can feel good. You can pass this positive experience on to your clients by working with them to expand or develop their generosity. For some clients, this might mean intentionally thinking about where their year’s charitable donation will best be given, for some it might mean establishing a partnership between the business and a worthy local cause, and for others this might mean volunteer work or accepting low-fee clients. Consider tapping the benefits of this social strength yourself by reserving a spot or two for clients who cannot afford your regular fees. Nearly everything we do, from coaching to marriage to working in teams, is based on social relationships. The most effective people in life are those who understand the social dynamics and know how to navigate them well. In fact, three of Stephen Covey’s “7 Habits” are specifically built around relating to others.20 By working with your clients to identify and develop their greatest social strengths, you will help them to perform optimally at work and succeed at home.

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STRENGTHS OF JUSTICE Strengths of justice are those virtues that help contribute to the welfare of groups, whether they be teams at work or the town in which you live. These strengths are cousins to the one-to-one strengths of humanity discussed earlier in that they are focused on relationships and exist within a social context. They differ in that they are geared toward building communities. Each of us is equipped, to some degree, with strengths of justice. We all appreciate fairness when it happens and feel our blood boil when it does not. We are all grateful when we receive the loyalty of others and feel the sting if we do not. While love and kindness keep marriages happy and allow coworkers to chat easily on their lunch breaks, strengths of justice tend to promote a broader, healthier, and more positive structure in which individual relationships can flourish. According to Peterson and Seligman, the strengths of justice include citizenship, fairness, and leadership:21 • Citizenship: Citizenship is about successfully fulfilling group obligations. In the political sense, this might mean voting, petitioning legislative representatives, or participating on local councils or at public hearings. At work, citizenship is usually defined in terms of appropriate punctuality, absenteeism, preparedness, and adequate performance. To be a good citizen means a person has extended beyond self-interest and acts in a way that will benefit the larger group. Citizenship has many facets including teamwork and loyalty.22 People who pull their weight on a team and who are committed to the group often inspire the respect and mutual commitment of others. Because of the social power of citizenship, folks for whom this is a signature strength have a wonderful opportunity to define the culture of their group. People who show up to work on time, work hard while on the clock, and show loyalty to their coworkers naturally set the standard for performance by which everyone else will be judged.

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Fortunately, citizenship is a strength that can be coached. If you are working with executives, you have a golden opportunity to encourage them to role model good citizenship behaviors. In all likelihood, most senior managers and executives already have many of these strengths. Their hard work, initiative, and commitment are some of the abilities that landed them in their position in the first place. But, the marketplace is not what it once was: fewer employees expect to be working at the same company for the duration of their careers and CEOs and CFOs jump from company to company at a faster rate than ever before.23 In such a climate, a little loyalty can go a long way toward inspiring others and winning friends. Consider working with your clients to explore what type of loyalty they expect from others, and how much loyalty they would want in a perfect world. What would loyalty look like for your client? How might she describe the current culture of loyalty? You can also encourage your client to build more loyalty by increasing small commitments. Just as exercising can increase strength over time extracting a commitment for action from your client can work out her loyalty muscles. You can use the coaching relationship itself to model loyalty for your clients and set up opportunities for them to experience loyalty wins. • Fairness: Have you ever been at a standstill on the freeway during your evening commute? Perhaps it was one of those all-too-common times when construction forces three lanes of traffic into two. Perhaps you will be familiar with this situation: All the cars merge into the open lanes and wait patiently for their turn to pass on through. And just then, a car drives down the lane right up to the merge point, passing you and a dozen other motorists in the process. We have all had an experience like this and, typically, it makes us angry. Why? Because we are irritated when a person breaks a rule—implicit or explicit—for their own gain. We would not care a bit if it were an ambulance racing to an emergency, but if it is a fellow commuter jockeying for position, it can make 182

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our skin crawl. It is a clear breach of the moral code by which we all live. It is, in short, unfair. Although fairness is a concept we learn early in life, when we fight over toys with our siblings, it is also a concept that has come under serious philosophical and scientific scrutiny. Harvard philosopher John Rawls wrote about “distributive justice” in which fairness was measured by how goods and services were distributed among a group.24 The late philosopher Robert Nozick suggested that fairness is less a matter of how distribution looks and more about how it comes about.25 Even psychologists have weighed in on the issue. Lawrence Kohlberg built on work in developmental psychology to theorize three levels of moral reasoning.26 In the first stage, fairness is considered a means to an end in which actions will result in rewards or punishments depending on how just they are. In the second stage, fairness is a matter of fulfilling obligations or doing what others say is right. Finally, in the third stage, moral reasoning is guided by abstract principles of justice and an individual has the ability to question, challenge, and revise these so long as it is done responsibly. Unfortunately, the human psyche has some very clever methods of bypassing basic principles of fairness. Getting revenge, cheating because other people do, and acting unfairly because there is no identifiable victim are just a few of the ways in which we convince ourselves that a little bending of the rules is okay. Giving a low bid you cannot possibly honor just to win business, for example, is not just, even if it is a practice common to your profession. Believing otherwise is the result of comparing yourself to your competitors rather than considering your client. This kind of slippery thinking does not win friends or loyal employees and clients in the long run. When you work with clients, pay attention to their attitude about fairness. Is fairness something they value? Is their concept of fairness one that matches yours, or do the two of you disagree? You can coach around fairness by going 183

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beyond the cost-benefit analysis mindset. Fairness is more than a matter of the benefits outweighing the costs and risks. If you are dealing with a moral dilemma, try asking your clients what other people would think of their actions, or what they might do in a perfect world. Consider asking what both the short- and long-term consequences of a particular course of action would be. You can also jump start your clients’ moral fortitude by finding areas of their lives where they appreciate fairness. Perhaps they value fairness in athletic competitions or between their children. These examples can be models that form a foundation of fairness that can be translated to a variety of work settings. In the end, clients who recognize fairness and act accordingly are a pleasure to work with. Optimal functioning means more than just a large paycheck or steady advances up the corporate ladder. The people who are regarded widely as good folks with solid character are those who also employ strengths of justice. These are the people we trust and, ideally, the types of people we would like to coach or help our clients become.

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ACTION STEPS FOR POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY COACHES 1. The research by Steve Heine and Darrin Lehman shows the profound impact culture can have on self-esteem. What kind of culture do you have in your coaching sessions, and how do you go about establishing a culture of success? If you coach with groups how do you promote a positive culture that will rub off on everyone? Consider how you might organize your intake session, referral process, correspondence, and other interactions to foster a culture that will energize your clients and boost their confidence. 2. Weaknesses are an unavoidable part of life. We all have our deficits and Achilles’ heels. At times, it might make sense to focus on these areas as a potential avenue for growth. Too often, however, this is the default area for work. Try taking the time to consider if the problem at hand is an area where the use of strengths might be just as or more effective than shoring up weaknesses. Watch your client’s energy level rise as you take this new approach. 3. The word love is too light, and too laden with hints of intimacy and sexuality to be readily used in most coaching sessions. Consider how you might talk about this important strength with your clients. Would you use the words admiration, camaraderie, sacrifice, or support? How might you tie together the exercise of this virtue with outcomes your client values? 4. Most clients facing challenges or problems tend to focus on the facts and overlook the way that social roles may play into the issue. Social roles carry with them a variety of expectations and scripts. Social roles tell us we should face forward and remain quiet on the elevator. They tell us we should follow a predictable conversation at the checkout counter at the grocery store. Social scripts suggest ways to act and interact in many situations. How can you work with your client so that she sees herself as the author of her own script, free to make revisions and small changes that will help move the action forward?

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FURTHER READING Covey, S. R. (2004). The 7 habits of highly effective people (15th ed,). New York: Free Press. The classic book on personal success through the development of healthy, dignified personal habits. Dunbar, R. (1998). Grooming, gossip, and the evolution of language. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press. Dunbar looks at Darwin, primates, and computers to discuss gossip, language, and other natural social phenomena. Goleman, D. (1997). Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. New York: Bantam Books. Goleman’s modern classic that popularized the importance of understanding your own feelings and those of others. Goleman, D. (2006) Social intelligence: The new science of social relationships. New York: Bantam Books. Goleman’s book tackles the social environment and discusses how it is our natural dwelling place.

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Special Topics in Positive Psychology Coaching

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CHAPTER EIGHT


As amazing as it sounds, most people spend more time on the job than in any other single pursuit in life. Most of us are on the clock eight hours or more a day, amounting to a full third of our adult lives. If you consider commuting, prepping, decompressing, and thinking and talking about work-related issues, the hour tally increases and jobs can seem all consuming. It is telling that in the United States, as elsewhere, 5 days are reserved for hard work and two for leisure. Given this five to two ratio, it is a wonder that any of us have time for families, hobbies, and rest. Perhaps the sheer volume of time taken up by work is one of the reasons why some people have an adversarial relationship with their jobs. Whether you are a career coach, executive coach, or life coach, clients seek out coaching services because of work-related issues. Inevitably, we hear complaints about managers, coworkers, employees, customers, and competitors. Increasingly, people in their thirties, forties, and fifties are realizing that they are missing out on some crucial, fulfilling aspect of their work, and

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many seek coaches for help in exploring their options. It is our job, at least in part, to help clients craft the job they want. Fortunately, there is a growing body of theory and research that can aid us in this endeavor. When we meet someone new, we often ask, “What do you do?” In fact, this is usually one of our first questions to new acquaintances. Why do we do this? Does it really matter to us whether they are a chiropractor or a sound engineer? Do we ask out of idle curiosity, or the chitchat that makes up the script of small talk? “What do you do?” is an important question because, to a large extent, our jobs are synonymous with our identities. The answer to the question provides a wealth of information about socioeconomic status, educational background, personal interests, and values. Although there is plenty of individual variation within professions, we can make some educated guesses about a person based on whether she is a marine biologist or in the Marine Corps. Learning that someone is a priest, a stay-at-home mother, a political lobbyist, or owns a car dealership tells us something important about her preferences, possible interests, and how she spends much of her time. In fact, work is far more than just a paycheck. At its best, work structures our time, provides us with a sense of security, offers opportunities to learn and grow, and can be enjoyable. So important is our work to our identity that we proudly claim our occupation as synonymous with who we are: “I am a psychologist,” we might say, rather than, “I participate in many of the activities associated with the profession of psychology.” This is especially true of individuals who do not work simply to “make a living,” but who have the relative luxury of pursuing jobs that sound interesting or fulfilling. But the world of work is not what it once was. Gone are the idyllic days where employees stayed loyal to their company for the duration of their working life, and were rewarded with increasing pay, responsibility, and, ultimately, a handsome retirement package. The past 20 years, especially those in the wake of the information technology (IT) boom, have seen long-accepted 190

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notions of work turned on its ears. In today’s global economy, workers are increasingly acting as free agents, moving from employer to employer, working from home, and working long into the traditional retirement years. There are both benefits and disadvantages to this new system. On the one hand, workers have unprecedented levels of personal freedom and financial mobility. On the other hand, workers are increasingly responsible for there own financial security and are frequently required to make stressful geographic moves. Ironically, the freedom to move from job to job can also be a curse. With so many potential options available to them—with the world truly being their oyster—many workers casting about for a better position are simply overwhelmed by the choices. People wonder if they should move to New York, or San Francisco; whether they should switch to a new company or choose an entirely new career. Job hopping and career switching are increasingly common, and employees in this new work climate can seem flakey and unfocused. In his fascinating book, What Should I Do with My Life? author Po Bronson examines the modern search for the perfect job.1 Bronson was interested in how people find themselves working in a particular job. He wondered whether people “end up” in their professions or choose to be there. More importantly, Bronson was interested in the specific choices people made that lead them to their current position. He was curious about those folks who nap at work, about those who ignore their work (as he once did), and about those who persevere in their pursuit of risky new business ventures. Bronson interviewed dozens of people and examined their career trajectories, often with surprising results. Some folks he talked with underwent dramatic career transformations following a lightning strike of personal insight while others were content to never settle into a work routine or stick with a particular job very long. Some people believed there was one true calling awaiting them, while others saw diverse possibilities. In the end, Bronson concludes that, whether a person is a gardener or a computer programmer, people want to find their passion and infuse their 9 191

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to 5 hours with that sense of enthusiasm and fulfillment. People want to pursue activities that they are interested in and find meaningful in some way. In an individualist culture, we shy away from one-size-fits-all solutions and cookie cutter formulas for success. We want answers unique to our situation, and a job that matches our particular blend of strengths, talents, and interests. It is that age-old question of person-environment fit. Or more pointedly, person-job fit. Most folks don’t simply want the right job—the one with the highest earning potential or the one that offers the most social status—we want the right job for us. Ideally, we want our work to fit us like a glove. In fact, we want more than the right fit. We want the right style, and two gloves that match. In the end, we want a job that feels like an expression of our talents and values. One of the most provocative ways to look at the topic of personwork fit was proposed by sociologist Robert Bellah and his colleagues, in their book, Habits of the Heart: Individualism and Commitment in American Life.2 The book, originally published in the mid-1980s, was a call to arms to reestablish community in a splintering society. Because the sweep and scope of the book is so broad, it is easy to overlook the profound importance of those few pages that describe what Bellah calls “work orientation.” He and his colleagues write that there are three categories of relating to work that they term “jobs, careers, and callings” (described in greater detail next). According to Bellah, people differ in how they view their work. Some people work at joyless jobs in order to scrape together enough money to pay the monthly bills. Others crave the perks associated with their work: the travel, the paid vacations, the promotions, and rubbing elbows. And still others do what they do because they believe that their work makes some appreciable contribution to the world. People in this last group have “callings,” a nod to religious vocations, and Bellah and his colleagues view this type of work as the most desirable orientation because they engage personal passions and provide a sense of contributing to the common good. In the end, Bellah’s theory of 192

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work orientation is useful for coaches and highly appealing to our clients. It is easy to explain and provides a framework and language for thinking about work in a new, more fulfilling way.

BACKGROUND TO WORK ORIENTATION The idea that some people are better suited than others to certain work environments is well known. Not everyone would flourish on the floor of the fast-paced Chicago Mercantile Exchange, just as some folks are not cut out for the adrenaline charged work of a paramedic. To some degree, people self-select into their work, choosing jobs that are realistic, but that also appeal to them. For some people, owning a butcher shop is attractive, and for others a life spent in military service sounds satisfying. Your clients are no different. Most of them are working in areas that play to their strengths or grab their attention. Those who aren’t probably are using their sessions to make some change. Early psychological research on the topic of person-work fit tended to look at personal and demographic variables as contact points between people and their occupations. Researchers looked, for instance, at the role of educational level, sex, and personality characteristics as they affected job satisfaction. In an example of this early research, investigator John Seybolt looked at the way in which education affected satisfaction at work.3 He hypothesized that highly educated people might require additional rewards to be satisfied with their jobs. Individuals with college degrees and graduate degrees might be happy on the job, according to Seybolt, to the extent that they work at a variety of tasks, and that those tasks are complex. Feel free to interpret his findings how you like: Perhaps highly educated people require intellectual complexity to feel gratified, or perhaps they just get bored easily. Research such as Seybolt’s provided initial clues that employers could retain their workers and increase productivity by designing work and managerial styles that fit well with individuals. By taking education or sex into consideration, 193

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employers could develop a work culture that satisfied their employees. Personality characteristics, such as extroversion, were of particular interest, and assessments of personality types such as the Meyers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) were used extensively. But, research in psychology has come a long way since the early days of person-environment fit. We have moved beyond the broad strokes of personality types and simple demographic variables. These days, researchers are dealing with the exciting area of personal values, heretofore the domain of philosophers and religious pundits. A shining star of this new line of research is Amy Wrzesniewski, an organizational psychologist at New York University’s prestigious Stern School of business.4 Wrzesniewski took Bellah’s idea of work orientation and put it to the test, subjecting his attractive theory to rigorous empirical study. Her work in this area is some of the most exciting, dynamic, and promising research for coaches interested in job satisfaction and other workplace considerations. Wrzesniewski uses Bellah’s framework for her research, describing the three work orientation categories as follows: 1. Jobs: People with a job orientation are not particularly excited about their work. These are individuals we typically think of who are working because they “have to.” These are people who do not like or value the nature of their work, and look forward to breaks and the end of their shift. They would not recommend their work to a friend, and tend not to think about their job when they are off the clock. Those with a job orientation are primarily motivated by money or other tangible benefits that their work provides, such as health insurance. 2. Careers: People with a career orientation are more likely than their “job” counterparts to like their work. Those with a career orientation are motivated by both primary (such as income) and secondary (such as social status) benefits of their work. In particular, these individuals are attracted to the power, responsibility, and possibility for advancement that 194

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their work brings. The idea of promotions, pay raises, paid vacations, and supervisory roles appeals to them. They may or may not like all aspects of their job, but they are motivated by the possibility of advancement. Career-oriented individuals sometimes look at their work as a steppingstone to somewhere better. 3. Callings: People with a calling orientation typically love and value what they do in and of itself. They may be paid well for what they do but typically espouse the idea that they would “do this for free.” Calling-oriented individuals commonly believe that their work contributes something necessary and good to the world and improves quality of life not only for themselves, but also for others. These people like to think about their work, even when they are off the clock, and would be likely to take their work with them on vacation. It is important to note that these are not simply workaholics (although some may be) who are absorbed only with their jobs but are people who believe they are creating a better world. In an early study, Wrzesniewski was curious to see whether Bellah’s categories actually mapped onto people’s attitudes in the real world, or whether they were simply the appealing theoretical product of a sharp mind. To test this, Wrzesniewski assessed 135 people from a wide range of occupations.5 She found that the people in her study unambiguously fell into one of the three work orientation categories. That is, people in the real world actually tend to have a job, career, or calling attitude toward their work. This is important because it suggests that this theory will work with your clients. Not only did Wrzesniewski find that these categories accurately describe how people relate to their work, but she found that roughly a third of her sample fell into each orientation, suggesting that people are equally distributed among them. This means that you can expect that, across all your clients, some will have a job orientation, some a career orientation, and some a calling orientation. Next, Wrzesniewski looked at a subsample of 24 195

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administrative assistants in her study to examine their work orientation and found a surprising result: Within this group, she found approximately one-third who endorsed each of the three orientations. Point 1: The way people relate to their work is important. People in a wide range of occupations think about their work as jobs, careers, or callings.

There’s the shocker: In any given occupation, people can be in the job, career, or calling orientation. It doesn’t matter if people deliver pizza for a living or are highly specialized surgeons, it only matters how they perceive their work. There are lawyers who hate their jobs and bus drivers who love theirs. There are plumbers who would quit in an instant and salespeople who have to be dragged kicking and screaming into retirement. Work orientation is less about qualifications and educational background, or even about a specific profession, and more about how an individual interprets her work, whether she sees value in it, sees it as a possibility for advancement, or dreads it. Wrzesniewski herself tells a wonderful story about a study she conducted at a large hospital in Texas.6 To assess work orientation, Wrzesniewski conducted interviews with members of the hospital staff from the administrators to the doctors to the clerical workers. On one particular day, Wrzesniewski was interviewing a nurse in the long-term care ward, where patients are typically in a chronic vegetative state. The nurse said that one day she came into the ward and there seemed to be something subtly different about the place. She could not immediately figure out what had changed, but her subconscious kept nagging at her. Finally, it hit her: All the paintings that were on the south wall had been moved to the north wall, and vice versa. The nurse pieced together that the janitor had rearranged the pictures. Now, here is a man who is—in terms of the hospital hierarchy—the low man on the totem 196

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pole. His duties are to sweep and mop, and empty the wastebaskets. And yet, he had done something, albeit small, to improve the quality of life of the patients. When Wrzesniewski interviewed the man, he had a calling orientation. He spoke of his work as being as important as that of the surgeons. He emphasized that his role was to keep the hospital clean and that, without cleanliness, the doctors and nurses could not promote health properly. Thus, in any given occupation, a person can have any work orientation. Is there an orientation that is better than the others? Most people look on the job orientation as highly unattractive and the calling orientation as the most appealing. Research seems to support the desirability of the calling orientation. Wrzesniewski found that people with a calling orientation report higher job satisfaction, higher life satisfaction, and teams made up of a majority of callingoriented individuals generally perform better. Interestingly, for teams comprised of a majority of career orientation members, there is more conflict, less “team spirit,” and worse communication.7 This is not an emotional death sentence for those with a career or job orientation. These people can certainly derive personal fulfillment, but tend to take their satisfaction from leisure rather than work. Point 2: People with a calling orientation are more satisfied with their lives and work.

A related topic, and one particularly relevant to coaching, is the idea of job crafting. Among the most interesting results from Wrzesniewski’s research is the finding that many calling-orientation individuals naturally engage in making minor changes to the tasks and relations of their work. The janitor described in the previous story is a perfect example of job crafting: Rearranging the pictures is certainly not an activity that falls under his job description, but one that he was able to accomplish without expending undue time or resources, and which gave him an increased sense of purpose in his work. By taking initiative in 197

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small ways, job crafters perform on the job in a way that is meaningful to them. According to Wrzesniewski, and her colleague Jane Dutton, from University of Michigan, there are several forms of job crafting:8 • Changing the number, scope, or type of job tasks: People frequently improvise or otherwise change the nature of the tasks they complete while on the job. In some cases, office workers create more efficient or personally meaningful systems for organizing paper work. In other cases, people water the plants of their coworkers who are on vacation without being asked. One man, who worked as a valet in an urban parking lot, spent his “down time” making improvements to the valet booth, ranging from replacing the uncomfortable stool to designing a color-coded system for organizing the car keys. When asked about this “extra work,” the valet reported that he felt good about helping his fellow valets by making their job easier and more comfortable. You can suggest to your clients that they look for similar opportunities to make small but meaningful changes at work. • Changing the quality and amount of interaction with others on the job: People frequently modify the quality or type of interaction they have while at work. Hairdressers, for example, often ask personal questions and make self-disclosures. In fact, this phenomenon is so common that we frequently think of conversation as part of the hair-styling experience. In a study of hairdressers, it was observed that they sometimes punished clients who refused to disclose or “fired” clients to create more desirable interactions.9 Similarly, conversational ability is nowhere to be found in most entry interviews for taxi drivers. And yet, taxi drivers frequently add social interaction to their basic job description to make their work more enjoyable. You can ask your clients about the quality of their social interactions at work, and strategize small ways to make them better.

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• Changing cognitive task boundaries: This refers to the way in which people generally think about the work they do. Do they consider themselves engaged in a set of discrete tasks, such as preparing a report, or do they see the activities as making up a larger whole, such as helping to bring a superior product to market? Sales associates at an electronics store, for instance, may view their work as stocking and selling specific equipment, such as computer accessories; or they can view their work in the context of educating the consumer about various merchandise options and helping customers select products that are appropriate to their needs. For those individuals who can make the leap and view their work in terms of a larger good, the result is a more satisfying life. Try paying attention to your client’s language when she talks about her job. What does she see her job as being? Does she describe specific tasks or talk about work in terms of its general mission? Point 3: People, especially those with a calling orientation, make their work more meaningful by modifying their tasks and relationships on the job.

The phenomenon of job crafting is consistent with wonderful work by Herminia Ibarra, a professor of organizational behavior at an international business school in France. In her book, Working Identity, Ibarra contends that our true “working identity”—that is, how we see ourselves in relation to the work we do—actually is ever changing.10 It is not surprising then, that people become dissatisfied with their work, or seek new challenges and renewed meaning from their jobs. This is the natural by-product of an individual development in which our talents develop, our values shift, our relationships change, and our sense of self evolves. To encourage deep change, Ibarra encourages readers to experiment with

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various work-related identities by crafting experiments, such as volunteering, taking a class, or interviewing someone in a different profession. We have both had coaching clients who experimented in various ways with work. One man, a scientist working for a large government organization, chose to volunteer at an environmental advocacy group in Washington, DC. Although he had a PhD, and was an expert in a highly specialized area, his experiences writing letters to newspaper editors fulfilled something in him that his day job did not. This underlying value—the desire to make a lasting contribution to the world—was missing from his 9 to 5 work, and his volunteer experiences led to provocative and fruitful coaching sessions in which he discussed ways to craft his professional work to fulfill this previously unmet need. Ibarra draws on research by psychologists Shinobu Kitiyama and Hazel Markus on “possible selves.”11 Both researchers have a special passion for cultural issues and are keenly interested in the ways in which Eastern collectivists, such as Japanese people, differ from their Western individualist counterparts in their sense of self. According to Kitiyama, Markus, and other researchers who investigated this topic, collectivists are more likely than, say, Americans to have a fluid sense of identity.12 Whereas people from Western nations tend to view our traits as stable across time and situations, collectivists appear comfortable with rapidly shifting identities, depending on their social setting. Where Westerners tend to believe that there is one authentic self, researchers have found that Japanese people believe in multiple selves that include both public and private aspects.13 This line of research has led to work on a concept called “possible selves,” in which identity shifts are viewed not just as plausible, but as inevitable. Job crafting and trying out new identities are fluid activities that match the transformative nature of the coaching endeavor. There is a certain freedom in the permission to experiment with who we are, a certain enjoyment in playing with the way we approach our work. We become lib200

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erated from the needle-in-a-haystack search for our one true self and are free to take risks, be spontaneous, and, most importantly, grow.

ASSESSMENTS Because work is such an important aspect of who we are, and comprises so much of the lives we live, assessing our clients’ work orientation and purpose in life can be particularly useful. Fortunately, several reliable measures of these concepts exist, are easy to understand and complete, and are free of charge. Here, we present Wrzesniewski’s measure of work orientation. WORK ORIENTATION

Wrzesniewski and her colleagues developed a measure to assess work orientation.14 The first aspect of the assessment is the presentation of three vignettes, each describing one type of work orientation. Clients are asked to read each vignette, and use the 1 to 4 scale to indicate the degree to which the vignette describes him or her. It should be noted that to avoid contaminating answers, this assessment ought to be given before discussing the concept of work orientation with clients (e.g., including this measure with appropriate clients with the introductory paperwork and coaching contract). Work Orientation Assessment

Please read the three paragraphs that follow. After you have read all three, indicate how much each category of people is like you by circling one of the choices: 1. Category A people work primarily enough to earn enough money to support their lives outside of their jobs. If they were financially secure, they would no longer continue with their current line of work, but would really rather do something 201

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else instead. To these people, their jobs are basically a necessity of life, a lot like breathing or sleeping. They often wish the time would pass more quickly at work. They greatly anticipate weekends and vacations. If these people lived their lives over again, they probably would not go into the same line of work. They would not encourage their friends and children to enter their line of work. Category A people are very eager to retire. 2. Category B people basically enjoy their work, but do not expect to be in their current jobs 5 years from now. Instead, they plan to move on to better, higher level jobs. They have several goals for their futures pertaining to the positions they would eventually like to hold. Sometimes their work seems a waste of time, but they know that they must do sufficiently well in their current positions in order to move on. Category B people can’t wait to get a promotion. For them, a promotion means recognition of their good work, and is a sign of their success in competition with coworkers. 3. For Category C people, work is one of the most important parts of life. They are very pleased that they are in their line of work. Because what they do for a living is a vital part of who they are, it is one of the first things they tell people about themselves. They tend to take their work home with them and on vacations, too. The majority of their friends are from their places of employment, and they belong to several organizations and clubs relating to their work. They feel good about their work because they love it, and because they think it makes the world a better place. They would encourage their friends and children to enter their line of work. Category C people would be pretty upset if they were forced to stop working, and they are not particularly looking forward to retirement. Category A people are: (a) Very much like me (b) Somewhat like me

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(c) A little like me (d) Not at all like me Category B people are: (a) Very much like me (b) Somewhat like me (c) A little like me (d) Not at all like me Category C people are: (a) Very much like me (b) Somewhat like me (c) A little like me (d) Not at all like me Scoring: Scoring this work orientation measure is fairly straightforward. Typically, clients will endorse one orientation more strongly than the others, and it is likely that, to the degree it describes them, this is their work orientation.

POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY AT WORK

1. Work orientation: In our experience, work orientation appeals to clients, especially when couched in nonjudgmental terms. There is much to admire in people willing to work in unpleasant jobs for the sake of supporting their families, just as the ambition that often accompanies a career orientation can lead to achievement and success. Regardless of your clients’ specific work orientation, assessing their attitudes toward their work can be an important step in the transformation process. Assessing and discussing work orientation with clients can lead to productive coaching sessions. Such conversations provide the

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foundation for a wide variety of interventions including acknowledgement, reframing, and using metaviews. One intervention we have found useful with our clients is using work orientation to articulate the specific aspects of the job that motivate the client. Clients, in our experience, often have an intuitive sense of how they relate to coworkers, their satisfaction with their paycheck, and whether they are enjoying their work or not. Too rarely, though, have most clients systematically taken stock of the various domains of work: their commute, their pay, the supervisor, their actual tasks and activities, their coworkers, their office environment, their company mission, and their progress toward long-term work related goals. Knowledge of a client’s work orientation can open the door not only to discussing these issues, but can also provide a frame for looking at these domains. 2. Job crafting: You can work with your clients by suggesting they look for opportunities to make small modifications to their work. This may be something you do with your clients already, but the job crafting research provides a nice language for discussing these issues. For some individuals the idea of working outside their specific job description can seem a dubious endeavor. But the right questions can illuminate the fact that every moment we are at work is an opportunity to make a difference. Who we eat lunch with, how we decorate our desks, what we wear, and how we use e-mail, are just a few examples of the many elements of work that can make an important contribution to how satisfied we are with our work. For clients struggling with their relationship with their supervisor, crafting “managing up” tasks may be just what the doctor ordered. For those who have lost faith in their company’s product or service, there is frequently some saving grace, some feeling of responsibility or meaning in relationships with coworkers.

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By framing work as more than a handful of assigned tasks, the idea of job crafting is frequently all the permission clients need to develop a sense of autonomy and brainstorm job crafting ideas. 3. Work identity experiments: Here we refer you to Ibarra’s book (the reference is at the end of the chapter) for detailed descriptions of crafting experiments and transforming work identity.

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ACTION STEPS FOR POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY COACHES 1. Decide how you are going to use work orientation and job crafting in your coaching practice. Is it enough for you to simply share this research with your clients? What sorts of powerful questions can you develop based on these concepts? How might you include assessments of meaning and work orientation in your practice? Which clients are these assessments appropriate for, and when might you administer them? 2. Consider your own work orientation. Are there times you really value your work, and others where you find yourself drawn to the earning potential of the job? How much do you think of your coaching practice as a steppingstone to other endeavors? What is it, specifically, that you feel your coaching contributes to the world? 3. Share the work orientation and job crafting ideas with friends, colleagues, and family members. In discussing these issues with others you will improve your ability to articulate the main points clearly. Further, it will give you the opportunity to field questions and concerns before using this information with your clients.

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FURTHER READING Bellah, R., Madsen, R., Sullivan, W. M., Swidler, A., & Tipton, S. (1996). Habits of the heart: Individualism and commitment in American life. Berkeley, CA: University of California Press. A poignant critique of American individualism and a call to participate in community building. Bronson, P. (2003). What should I do with my life? New York: Random House. Vignette style interviews with a wide range of everyday folks who found a place for themselves through luck, reflection, and creativity. Frankl, V. (1959). Man’s search for meaning. New York: Washington Square Press. Frankl’s first-person account of his experiences in a Nazi concentration camp and reflections on the importance of finding meaning in life. Ibarra, H. (2004). Working identity: Unconventional strategies for reinventing your career. Boston, MA: Harvard Business School Press. Ibarra’s useful strategies for finding more meaning in work.

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CHAPTER NINE


Coaching is rewarding, in part, because it is an endeavor that deals with the best, rather than the worst, in people. It is about harnessing resources, striving for excellence, and growing in the most dynamic ways possible. Positive psychology, as an orientation toward life, fits coaching like a glove. Positive psychology asks: “What is going right with you?” and provides much needed guidelines for living an engaged life, both at home and on the job. Further, positive psychology, as a branch of science, provides a state-of-the-art method for asking and answering important questions about personal change and growth. Although at times the information provided by positive psychology research can seem common sense, it is nice to have modern science affirm our theories. Beyond the intuitive, positive psychology research also helps us to understand how and why various coaching interventions work, not just whether they do. Perhaps most importantly, positive psychology research is an intellectual searchlight, casting about for the most promising new directions to focus our energy, 209

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time, and money in search of useful assessments and interventions. In short, positive psychology is rich new terrain for coaches, a landscape we have hardly begun to mine. Those lucky or visionary pioneers who stake their claims early will be poised on the forefront of an exciting new direction in coaching. Just as we might counsel our clients, we understand the logic in setting aside emotional exuberance to ask tough questions. It is reasonable, for instance, to wonder whether positive psychology is just a fad. Is positive psychology a media darling that will dry up in a year or two and become irrelevant? In short, it is smart to consider whether it is worth putting the time and energy into learning new theory and techniques, and to familiarize yourself with new assessments. We believe the answer is “yes, positive psychology is worth it.” We think that positive psychology possesses many virtues that make it an easy sell to the public as well as organizations. And, perhaps more important, we believe that positive psychology will persevere. Years from now, people will still be using positive psychology as the basis of their coaching practices, assessment techniques, and workshop content.

WHAT MAKES POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY USEFUL Using positive psychology makes sense for coaches. For many of you, positive psychology is just a new brand name for what you have been doing for years anyway. Many coaches have traditionally focused on building on client strengths and looking at past success, rather than failures, as a road map for the future. But rather than shrugging and assuming positive psychology has nothing new to offer, consider the possibility that research in this area uses sophisticated language to describe what you do, and sophisticated methods to determine why it works, and with whom. Positive psychology should not be a replacement for theories, branches of science, or other sources that inform your coaching work. Instead, positive psychology is an easy-to-use adjunct to these. 210

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What makes positive psychology so easy to use? Why might workshops and coaching practices anchored in positive psychology appeal to organizations, and why might the public be so amicably inclined toward it? We believe that this exciting new branch of psychology has many virtues that make it highly attractive. First, positive psychology is positive. People tend to gravitate toward programs and activities that will leave them feeling good, and feeling good about themselves. But, if positive psychology were just feel-good nonsense it wouldn’t last. Instead, the real virtue of positive psychology is that it works. Organizations are beginning to turn toward this new field because it is producing results. Alex Linley, a leading positive psychology researcher from Warwick, England, calls positive psychology a “win-win” for both management and workers.1 Who wouldn’t be attracted to a program, he reasons, that gets employees to work harder and stay loyal to their companies by actually improving the quality of their working conditions? In a recent interview, he told us “Positive psychology speaks to the important bottom lines: productivity and profit. But at the same time it speaks to employee welfare.” This sentiment is echoed by members of the Gallup Corporation, and many of their clients, who have seen firsthand the benefits of focusing on employee strengths and creating a positive work culture. Gallup employee Tom Rath, and former Gallup CEO, the late Don Clifton, wrote a best-selling book, How Full Is Your Bucket, which touts the many virtues of using positive strategies at work.2 In their book, Rath and Clifton issue a call to readers to abandon a culture of negativity and work to boost positive emotions in the workplace, not because of some naïve notion of happiness, but because they are familiar with the research showing that positivity boosts productivity. If developing talents, feeling good, and using personal strengths don’t appeal to people in and of themselves, Rath and Clifton argue that they ought to for the gains they bring about for both the individual worker and the company. 211

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Alex Linley understands not only that positive psychology is appealing to folks, but theorizes why this may be the case. “In the past,” he told us, “businesses have been founded on competency models, in which it is assumed that every employee can be good at basically everything. Employee evaluations have traditionally focused on what workers have done well in the past, say, over the last year. But the positive psychology approach focuses on potential, and on future mastery and performance. It looks at individual talents, and helps organizations position their people where they will best be used. In a business climate that changes constantly, positive psychology is the best predictor of future performance.” Finally, positive psychology offers the same competitive advantages to coaches that it does to businesses. Coaches who integrate theory, interventions, and assessments from this new field will be able to offer cutting-edge tools to their clients, as well as the confidence of scientifically proven methods. What’s more, the tenets of positive psychology can be applied to your own life, and form the foundation of the same dynamic personal growth that you hope for in your clients.

FUTURE DIRECTIONS OF POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY It only makes sense, however, to invest in positive psychology if it is an idea with longevity. No one wants to go through the hassle of learning new material and toying with new professional techniques if they will be discredited tomorrow or discarded the day after. There are, fortunately, signs that positive psychology is here to stay. Since its inception almost 7 years ago, the field has been gaining steam, attracting increasing attention from scholars, donors, organizations, and the media. James Pawelski, the educational director of the University of Pennsylvania’s Master’s in Applied Positive Psychology program— the first of its kind—believes positive psychology is gaining momentum. “There has been growing attention to the field,” Pawelski told us in a telephone interview, ticking off the hit parade of recent 212

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media scores. “Positive psychology is currently the most popular course at Harvard University, with more than 800 students in the class. The television show 60 Minutes was on our campus recently, filming a segment on positive psychology. Time magazine had a cover story on happiness. There is a quarter million dollar positive psychology prize. Yakov Smirnoff, the comedian, is a graduate of our master’s program.” A Google news search on positive psychology reveals daily articles on the topic from newspapers and magazines around the globe. Pawelski is quick to point out that media attention and success in the form of popularity alone cannot guarantee the longevity of positive psychology. “News stories are like kindling,” he told us, “they give a lot of light but do not last long. Positive psychology needs logs for fuel if it is to keep burning.” What might this sustainable fuel be? “Positive psychology will only last if there are institutions in place to support it. Fortunately, there are institutions in place. Our program here at Penn is an example. Year after year we are training people in all walks of life who will take positive psychology back out and into their own organizations. I think once you have changed organizational culture you are looking at lasting change.” Pawelski points to just two recent capstone projects being completed by students graduating from the Penn positive psychology program.3 In the first example, the students designed a program of positive interventions for children with Down’s Syndrome who were attending a camp at Vanderbilt University’s Kennedy Center. The positive psychology students had access to techniques anchored in research and practice, and were able to tailor them to the specific needs of the population they were serving. In the second instance, students offered positive psychology consulting services to a University of Pennsylvania program targeting undergraduates from a disadvantaged background. The capstone project included a strategic assessment of the program’s existing strengths and current needs along with a review of the positive psychology literature. This background investigation into the research would, the 213

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consultants believed, yield information and insights relevant to Penn’s disadvantaged student program, and would help in the creation of a proposal for intervention. Just imagine a coaching practice in which you had access to positive psychology databases and could review the research literature for assessments and interventions relevant to your client base and design individualized programs for them. Perhaps even more crucial to the long-term success of positive psychology is new research. If nuts-and-bolts positive psychology applications are “downstream,” then Pawelski’s master’s program is “midstream,” translating research into usable tools and training students—many of whom are accomplished professionals—to use these tools in a wide variety of settings. But for positive psychology to continue into the future in any appreciable way, there needs to be a bona fide “upstream” source of production. Upstream, where positive psychology is concerned, is new research. Scientists investigating positive psychology topics are employed by universities in the United States, Canada, Australia, England, Germany, Norway, South Africa, and perhaps a half dozen other countries around the world. In each of these places, new graduates will continue their own studies of talents, optimism, happiness, and morality into the future. But Pawelski believes that positive psychology, at the doctoral level, could be more institutionalized. A doctorate in positive psychology offered by accredited universities would be an obvious first step, according to Pawelski, as would positive psychology divisions in professional psychological bodies such as the American Psychological Association or British Psychological Society. Across the ocean, in England, positive psychology researcher Alex Linley agrees. Linley is the founder of the Center for Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP), a European institution aimed at providing graduate instruction in positive psychology as well as consultancy to corporations. The CAPP is poised to be University of Pennsylvania’s European counterpart, offering the continent’s first master’s degree in the field. Linley spoke with us recently via tele214

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phone from his home. “It is always possible that positive psychology will just become the science of happiness, with a relatively narrow focus,” he warned. “But I don’t think that’s likely. Positive psychology already has much more to offer than that . . . it speaks to engagement, resilience, and other concerns.” Linley not only agrees that positive psychology is here to stay, but believes the most important seed has already been planted. According to Linley, positive psychology represents a much needed and quite contagious paradigm shift. “We are increasingly seeing attention given to positive topics in academia, healthcare, economics, and public policy,” he says. Indeed, several farsighted economic policies geared toward assessing subjective well-being have been launched in England and are under consideration in Scotland. “For the first time,” Linley told us with an unmistakable note of enthusiasm in his voice, “people are integrating the positive with the negative. Positive psychology is not about denying the negative, it is about adding the overlooked positive to the negative. For the first time we are getting a complete view of things.”

FUTURE DIRECTIONS OF POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY COACHING While learning the material and techniques in this book will give coaches a possible competitive edge, positive psychology is dynamic. New findings are emerging all the time and the current state of knowledge is continually in flux. The information contained in this book, for example, will have already been added to in exciting ways between the time of this writing and the time of publication. How then are positive psychology coaches to stay abreast of the latest information? We want to be honest here, in admitting that this book is intended only as an introduction to positive psychology coaching, rather than a comprehensive training manual. It is our hope that these pages have introduced you to fresh new material and whetted your appetite for more. Even so, we recognize that, at best, books such as this one are much more 215

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survey courses than they are an advanced diploma. Positive psychology coaches should expect the field to change and should have well-developed ways to keep up with that change. This could be through peer consultation groups, subscriptions to positive psychology journals and list serves, attending conferences, as well as through reading new books on the topics and accessing new content on positive psychology web sites. What, specifically, might the positive psychology coaching of the future look like? It will likely involve three distinct, yet related, elements: assessments, interventions, and service delivery. ASSESSMENTS

As research on positive psychology continues, assessments of positive attributes will become more widespread, more sophisticated, and easier to use. As psychologists and other social scientists turn their attention to positive topics, we will begin seeing the development of new measures of coping, individual potential, professional growth, determination, curiosity, positivity, optimism, and other related subjects. These measures will give coaches new, well validated ways to ask clients about their resources, and help coaches to identify ways in which these skills and talents can be harnessed to maximum benefit. What’s more, the trend toward digital administration will continue to grow, and online assessments will be less expensive, more convenient, and easier to use than ever, providing added value to your clients. Another exciting new direction in psychology in general, and positive psychology specifically, is the advances being made in neurological imaging and other biological measures. Scientists are using fMRI technologies, as well as other measures of brain activity, stress hormones, and immune responses to identify physical antecedents to emotions and behavior, and to better understand how people cope with stress. As these technologies become cheaper, more portable, and easier to use they will increasingly find a place

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among the written and online assessments already in use by many coaches today. Imagine a workplace in which every computer mouse is fitted with special sensors that monitor galvanic skin response (GSR), the way your skin naturally fluctuates—with emotional arousal—in its ability to conduct electricity. The GSR mouse could monitor worker stress over the course of the day and, in the event that stress reached some threshold point, individualized interventions could appear in dialogue boxes on the computer monitor. Sound like science fiction? Carol Kaufman, coach and Harvard University instructor, says this technology is already in use by Logisens Corporation, and other inventive companies will create similar innovations in the near future.4 Similar online, moment-to-moment measures will be used more widely in coaching in the future. Just as digital photography has changed the way students learn the art by giving them immediate feedback online, feedback at work will help your clients understand their thoughts, feelings, and actions as never before. INTERVENTIONS

Many coaching interventions used today are commonsense tools that are tried when the moment seems right. We, as coaches, encourage and challenge, question, and celebrate. Frequently, these interventions work, and sometimes they don’t. Undoubtedly there are complex factors that contribute to the eventual effectiveness of any given intervention. The outcome probably depends on the specific problem a client is facing, as well as the client’s motivation to work and unique personality. By scientifically testing interventions coaches can be made aware of which of their current interventions show the greatest promise. Further, systematic testing of interventions will provide you with a much better understanding of which interventions will most likely work, with which types of clients, for which types of problems, and at what point in the coaching relationship.

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The future of positive psychology coaching will be marked by a rapid increase in the number of empirically validated interventions, many of which will target specific problems and client populations. In keeping with the orientation of positive psychology, these interventions will tap inner resources, strengths, potential, and feelings of well-being. At the time of this writing, there are several promising interventions, such as educating clients to have realistic expectations for fulfillment and the positivity portfolio (described in Chapter 4), that are being investigated for their relative effectiveness. Although the specifics of any future interventions will, ultimately, be decided by the creativity of innovative coaches as well as the results of careful science one thing is certain: The number of empirically validated positive interventions will grow, and this will be a major selling point for organizations. SERVICE DELIVERY

For anyone who has been coaching for a couple years or more, you have likely seen how changes in technology affect your coaching practice. Recent years have seen huge jumps in telecommunications devices, such that coaches routinely use bridge lines to meet with groups, VOIP Internet telephone lines to cut down on global long-distance charges, and web-cams for video conferencing. It does not take a seer to understand that the next decade will bring revolutionary new technologies to the marketplace that will have a direct impact on how coaching services are delivered. One probable way that such technologies will enhance a positive psychology coaching practice is through the use of online research databases. Picture subscribing to a web-based database that catalogs a broad range of positive psychology research. Imagine this database being updated regularly by experts in the field who sift through the journals looking for the most promising interventions and exciting new theories. Imagine being able to log on and enter key words such as motivation, effective team building, and leadership, or other search terms relevant to your coaching 218

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client and her pressing concerns. An internal search engine would cross-reference these key words and spit out a list of articles, theories, assessments, and interventions, rank ordered by their relevance to your terms. Such a database would save coaches from having to be firsthand experts in positive psychology research while affording them the confidence that comes from basing practice on sound science. This method of practice would be labor saving in that it would allow coaches to rely on the expertise of trusted academic gatekeepers who will provide the web-based content, thereby allowing coaches to focus on their social acumen and other intervention skills. For some readers, such a scenario may seem like a breath of fresh air, and only a few years in the offing. For others, reliance on databases may seem overly mechanical, even if they can effectively tailor interventions to individual clients. For these skeptics, we suggest that using science and technology need not take the art out of coaching. As James Pawelski notes, “The field of medicine is highly manualized. There are very specific criteria for diagnosis and high agreement about appropriate treatments. But this does not make medicine any less of an art, nor does it diminish the role of personal, individual experience or the unique gifts of doctors.”5 We believe the same is true for positive psychology coaching. We think that the future holds increasing scientific foundations for practice, but that a careful systematic approach to coaching need not undercut the role of individual talents or experience.

CONCLUSION In the end, positive psychology is much more than American style “happiology,” in which all people wear a smiley face and everybody lives happily ever after. Instead, positive psychology coaching is one possible, and promising, answer to the profession’s call for increased scientific backing in the form of empirically validated interventions and assessments. It is an easy sell to clients and organizations because it is appealing and, more importantly, it 219

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works. Positive psychology is a perfect fit for coaching in that it shares with coaching an innate orientation toward successes, strengths, and other positive topics and outcomes. Moreover, positive psychology is trans-theoretical, so it can be accepted in bits and pieces by everyone, without concern for ugly professional turf wars based on dearly held theoretical orientations. Positive psychology coaching is what many of you have been doing for years, now with a renewed sense of validation. It is careful, responsible practice, and it is on the rise.

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APPENDIX

Planning Positive Psychology Coaching Sessions

There may be as many ways to coach as there are coaches. Some of us are quick witted, others are assertive, and still others have a tender touch. There are also many definitions and models of coaching. Some people believe coaching is primarily an act of facilitation while others include a little direct instruction in their sessions.1 The point is, it is sometimes difficult to reach consensus on what coaching is and how it works. Despite the different approaches to the profession, there is widespread agreement about some aspects of coaching. Most coaches agree, for instance, that the collaborative coaching relationship itself is integral to the change process. Clearly, planning a session is not a one-size-fitsall endeavor. We intend this Appendix to be used primarily as a source of ideas that can be tailored, accepted, or rejected to your liking rather than a cookie-cutter model of positive psychology coaching. 221

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PLANNING POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY COACHING SESSIONS

One of the most important aspects of coaching from a positive psychology perspective is the focus on strengths and the harnessing of the power of positivity. Designing a positive psychology coaching session should capitalize on these powerful tools. The other signature trait of positive psychology coaching is a preference for using evidence-based approaches and a systematic method for gauging success. A positive psychology coaching session, as you might expect, would include some form of formal measurement. Together, the positive focus and basis in science make positive psychology coaching a dynamic approach to the work of our chosen profession. For us, the positive psychology begins even before the coaching session starts. It is as important for the coach to be positive and well disposed toward our clients as it is important for clients to show up to sessions committed to making change. We accomplish this by keeping track of what we like about our clients. This could include strengths, personality traits, interests, or personal similarities. We often jot down lists that include items like “articulate” “visionary” “From Oregon.” Anything that reminds us that our clients are interesting, worthwhile people. In our experience, spending the minute or so before the session meditating on these likable qualities helps sessions get off to a smooth start. The beginning of a positive psychology coaching session might look the same, whether it is an introductory intake session or a meeting with an ongoing client. We recommend that you start with a strengths introduction. One of the nice things about a coaching session is that you can play with or dismiss the normal social rules that apply to conversation. You can create a space where your client can brag, daydream, be silly, or voice anger at her boss. The strengths introduction is a perfect example of throwing the old social scripts out the window and starting fresh with something much more lively. You don’t need to find out where your client is from, if she is married, or what type of work she does. There will be plenty of time for that later. Try, instead, 222

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to introduce yourselves by telling about one of your strengths and sharing a short anecdote in which you used the strength. But, be wary. A strengths introduction goes so far out of the bounds of polite conversation that many people find it uncomfortable. As the coach, you must create a safe space for your client to pat herself on her back, as the following vignette illustrates: COACH: Mark, I would like you to begin if it’s all right with you, by telling me about one of your greatest strengths. Maybe tell me a story about a time you used this strength. MARK: My greatest strength? Hmmmm. . . . I guess I am pretty outgoing. People generally think of me as a people person. I am usually pretty good at parties. COACH: That’s terrific. I think people-people are a lot of fun. But I really want to know about your strengths. I’m really curious. So, let’s do that again, but this time I’ll start. Is that all right with you? MARK: Sure, go ahead. COACH: My greatest strength, if you can’t tell already, is curiosity. I am curious about everything. Even when I was a kid I was getting into trunks in the attic, reading books, exploring the neighborhood. One time I was curious if there was anyone in my town with my same name, so I looked in the phone book. I ended up calling the guy . . . out of the blue . . . and guess what? We actually became friends as a result of that! MARK: Wow. COACH: Okay, now you. MARK: Well, I’ve been thinking. I am . . . I don’t know exactly how to say this so I’ll just tell you the story. When I was applying to graduate school, I was supposed to go for an interview. I was on the highway when a truck flipped over. I immediately pulled over and jumped in the cab and administered first aid to the driver. COACH: Wow! 223

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MARK: Yeah, when I finally arrived at the interview I had bloodstains on my shirt. COACH: Holy smokes! Were you accepted at graduate school? MARK: [laughter] Yeah, I was. COACH: It sounds like you are really brave. MARK: I guess I am. COACH: Well, I’m not guessing. You sound pretty courageous to me. In fact, I think calling me today was a small act of bravery. Another great way of starting a session, especially with ongoing clients, is to use humor. Of course, coaches will vary in how comfortable they are with humor, but anything you can do to promote a positive mood at the outset of your session will have an effect on the outcome. With some clients, you might choose to kid around; with others, you might actually tell a joke. We sometimes tell a joke to clients before we start brainstorming, to jump-start those positivity benefits, including creativity. For coaches who aren’t natural clowns, asking clients to tell a short story about a funny thing that happened to them might be a good way to induce a positive mood. Another introductory element of positive psychology coaching is the use of baseline assessments. It is great to hear from a client that he enjoyed the session or found it helpful, but it is still nice to collect some actual data on the client’s progress. To some extent, of course, the types of information you choose to collect will be dictated by the client’s agenda. If the client comes to you wanting to work on not getting so easily discouraged, then some measures of perseverance and optimism may be indicated. If, on the other hand, a client comes to you wanting to improve her relationships at work, you might want to develop a gauge of how improved relationships might look. Chances are, you do some of this already, if only verbally with your clients. The good news is that positive psychology allows you additional, more formal measurements that are informative and easy to use. We recom-

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mend a few such measures as staples of your coaching practice. We think having your clients take the VIA-IS assessment of character strengths between the first and second session is a great way to tap their personal resources in later sessions. We also recommend using a measure of general life satisfaction, such as the Satisfaction with Life Scale (included at the end of this Appendix), as well as a measure of optimism, such as the Life Orientation Test (please see: http://www.psy.miami.edu/faculty /ccarver/sclLOT-R.html). These will allow you to see up front how positive your clients are about the future, and chart their satisfaction over the course of the coaching relationship. Later, you can use these measures to help market your practice. Imagine being able to say that, on average, clients who work with you for 3 months become more hopeful for the future and more satisfied with their lives, and you have the numbers to back this claim up! What’s more, you can find out for yourself if the length of your coaching contracts, the duration of your sessions, or other interesting variables affect your clients’ progress. Perhaps the most important of all positive psychology measures you can use with your clients is also one you can incorporate into your coaching sessions themselves. Positive psychology researchers call it a domain satisfaction measure, but in plain English it asks your client how satisfied she is with various aspects of her life such as her marriage, income, commute, family, office, career, vacation time, and so forth. There are several variations of this measure, and you can tailor it so that it covers specific life and work domains that are relevant to your clients. Regardless of the exact domains you and your clients choose to focus on, and regardless of the specific format you choose to use, these measures all work on the same basic principles. Each asks clients to indicate their level of satisfaction using a scale. Figure A.1 is an example of a domain satisfaction measure. It is called the Pillars of a Balanced Life, and it is part of the MentorCoach® approach to coaching.

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PLANNING POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY COACHING SESSIONS 10

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You can use the Pillars of a Balanced Life exercise with your clients to identify a direction for the coaching relationship. You simply ask your client to use a 1 to 10 scale to indicate how satisfied he or she is with that particular domain. The beauty of using an exercise like the Pillars is that it allows you to establish a baseline by which you can measure your client’s satisfaction over time and it can help you and your client to identify a direction for your work together. If you have a client who tells you, through the Pillars exercise, that she is extremely satisfied with her work but not very satisfied with her finances, then it suggests an agenda for your coaching work. Not only might you ask her if finances is an area she would like to work on, but it also suggests certain questions you might ask linking her high satisfaction at work but dissatisfaction with her paycheck. The Pillars of a Balanced Life rests on the premise that there can be spillover from

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domain of life to another. A success in one area can energize your clients in others. There are also several variations you can use to make the Pillars exercise forward the action with your clients. The Pillars of a Balanced Life, as it turns out, is more than a simple measure of satisfaction. You can also use it as an intervention. One way to help facilitate forward movement is by having your client identify an area he would like to work on. Let’s say he identifies work— which he rated a 6—as an area worth focusing on. Ask your client what makes work a 6. He will list a few of the reasons, and this will give you an opportunity to see what is going well for him on the job, and what might be problematic. Next, ask your client what it would take to raise his score to a 6.5. In one easy question, you have just shifted the focus to the future and offered the chance of a modest, attainable goal. When your client lists the actions necessary to jump up half a point, try pinning him down to a firm commitment. In our experience, clients really enjoy using the Pillars exercise in this way. It leaves them feeling hopeful, and with a clear to-do list for improving their lives. Another possible variation on the Pillars exercise is rooted directly in positive psychology research. Earlier in this book, we told you about adaptation and happiness. Remember how we said that spikes in intense happiness cannot last because humans are built to adapt back to their biologically determined set range? This means that there is an optimal level of happiness . . . one in which your clients can still derive all the terrific benefits without setting their expectations for happiness unrealistically high. Where, exactly, is this optimal happiness point? If you imagine a 1 to 10 scale, with 1 being very unhappy, 10 being very happy, and 5 being the neutral middle point then that magical, optimal happiness score would be a 7 or 8. Novel events like new babies, pay raises, holiday bonuses, or winning the lottery will bounce your clients to a 10, but ultimately they will drop back down to a natural 7 or 8. This fact can be used to your clients advantage through

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a little bit of didactic instruction during the coaching session. Simply tell your clients about the optimal level of happiness, and watch as they begin to think about their scores differently. Suddenly that 6 is only one point away from optimal instead of four points away from a lofty 10, which is what 99% of your clients will think they should be shooting for. In our experience, working with the Pillars in this way lets clients off an emotional hook, and their relief in sessions is palpable. Beyond baseline measures and identifying a direction for the coaching work, positive psychology can inform your sessions in many ways. This entire book is peppered with positive psychology interventions that can be used effectively with your clients. There are also a variety of avenues, depending on your preferences and your client’s comfort zone, for using positive psychology interventions: • You can use positive psychology interventions as homework. There are many exercises, such as the gratitude exercises described in Chapter 4, that are ideal for homework assignments. • You can use instruction as a positive psychology intervention. You can tell your client about the research contained in this book. Take, for example, the work we talked about in Chapter 6, by Carver and Sheier, in which they distinguish between “giving up effort” and “giving up a goal.” Relating this research might form the foundation of a productive conversation between you and your client. • You can use positive psychology interventions in-the-moment during sessions. You can suggest interventions to your client as they are appropriate to the content of given sessions. For example, you might use a portion of a session to walk your client through a positive reminiscence of a past success. Or, the two of you might choose to brainstorm around “job crafting” possibilities. 228

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Positive psychology coaching is not a dogmatic approach to coaching. We do not care if your background is in human resource management or psychodynamic psychotherapy. It does not matter if you coach corporate executives or offer life coaching to people from your hometown. In any case, positive psychology offers a novel, scientifically grounded way to think about and interact with your clients. There is, as yet, no right or wrong way to run a positive psychology coaching session, and we hope you use your intuition, practical wisdom, and creativity to employ positive psychology with your clients.

SATISFACTION WITH LIFE SCALE2 (Diener, Emmons, Larsen, & Griffen, 1985) Below are five statements that you may agree or disagree with. Using the 1 to 7 scale below indicate your agreement with each item by placing the appropriate number on the line preceding that item. Please be open and honest in your responding. 7—Strongly agree 6—Agree 5—Slightly agree 4—Neither agree nor disagree 3—Slightly disagree 2—Disagree 1—Strongly disagree In most ways my life is close to my ideal. The conditions of my life are excellent. I am satisfied with my life. So far I have gotten the important things I want in life. If I could live my life over, I would change almost nothing. 229

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Scoring: 35–31 26–30 21–25 20 15–19 10–14 5–9

Extremely satisfied Satisfied Slightly satisfied Neutral Slightly dissatisfied Dissatisfied Extremely dissatisfied

Many other positive psychology measures can be found at: www.personalitystrengths.com and www.ppc.sas.upenn.edu/ppquestionnaires.htm.

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Notes

Chapter 1: The Coaching Paradox and the Positive Psychology Solution 1. “Message from the ICF President” (p. 5), by S. Mitten, in Proceedings of the Third International Coach Federation: Coaching Research Symposium, F. Campone and J. L. Bennett (Eds.), November 2005, Lexington, MA: International Coach Federation. 2. “The Proposal to Establish a Special Group in Coaching Psychology,” by S. Palmer and A. Whybrow, 2005, Coaching Psychologist, 1, pp. 5–11. 3. “Toward a Positive Psychology of Executive Coaching” (pp. 287–304), by C. Kaufman and A. Scoular, in Positive Psychology in Practice, P. A. Linley and S. Joseph (Eds.), 2004, Hoboken, NJ: Wiley. 4. “Keeping Up with the Cheese! Research as a Foundation for Professional Coaching of the Future” (pp. 1–19), by A. Grant, in I. F. Stein and L. A. Belsten (Eds.), Proceedings of the First ICF Coaching Research Symposium, November 2003, Mooresville, NC: Paw Print Press. 5. Proceedings of the First ICF Coaching Research Symposium, by I. F. Stein and L. A. Belsten, (Eds.), 2004, Mooresville, NC: Paw Print Press. 231

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NOTES

6. “Coaching Eye for the Research Guy and Research Eye for the Coaching Guy: 20/20 Vision for Coaching through the Scientist-Practitioner Model” (pp. 13–21), by D. R. Stober, in Proceedings of the Second ICF Coaching Research Symposium, I. F. Stein, F. Campone, and L. J. Page (Eds.), November 2004, Washington, DC: International Coach Federation. 7. “Dialogue and Research in the Development of Coaching as a Profession” (p. 5), by W. B. Pearce, in Proceedings of the Third International Coach Federation: Coaching Research Symposium, F. Campone and J. L. Bennett (Eds.), November 2005, Lexington, MA: International Coach Federation. 8. Richarde, P. (May 25, 2006). Comments at the Third Annual Conference of the Association of Coach Training Organizations (ACTO), Toronto, Canada. 9. Evidence Based Coaching Handbook, by D. Stober and A. Grant, 2006, Hoboken, NJ: Wiley. 10. International Positive Psychology Summit Panel, speech presented at the Fourth International Positive Psychology Summit, by J. Clifton, Washington, DC, September/ October 2005. 11. See note 4. 12. “Cognitive-Behavioral, Solution-Focused Life-Coaching: Enhancing Goal Striving, Well-Being, and Hope,” by L. S. Green, L. G. Oades, and A. Grant, 2006, Journal of Positive Psychology, 1, pp. 142–149. 13. Toward a Psychology of Being, second edition, by A. H. Maslow, 1968, New York: Van Nostrand. 14. Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment, by M. E. P. Seligman, 2002, New York: Free Press. 15. See note 14. 16. “The Benefits of Frequent Positive Affect: Does Happiness Lead to Success?” by S. Lyubomirsky, L. King, and E. Diener, 2005, Psychological Bulletin, 131, pp. 803–855. 17. See note 16. 232

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Notes

18. “Findings on Subjective Well-Being: Applications to Public Policy, Clinical Interventions, and Education” (pp. 679–692), by W. Pavot and E. Diener, in Positive Psychology in Practice, P. A. Linley and S. Joseph (Eds.), 2004, Hoboken, NJ: Wiley. 19. The Psychology of Happiness, second edition, M. Argyle, 2001, New York: Routledge. 20. See note 19. 21. The Psychology of Ultimate Concerns: Motivation and Spirituality in Personality, by R. Emmons, 1999, New York: Guilford Press. 22. See note 21. 23. See note 21. 24. “From the Equator to the North Pole: A Study of Character Strengths,” by R. Biswas-Diener, 2006, Journal of Happiness Studies, 7, pp. 293–310. 25. See note 21. 26. Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification, by C. Peterson and M. E. P. Seligman, 2003, Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. 27. “Practical Wisdom: Aristotle Meets Positive Psychology,” by B. Schwartz and K. Sharpe, 2006, Journal of Happiness Studies, 7, pp. 377–395. 28. “Turning Adversity to Advantage: On the Virtues of the Co-Activation of Positive and Negative Emotions” (pp. 211–225), by J. T. Larsen, S. H. Hemenover, C. J. Norris, and J. T. Cacioppo, in A Psychology of Human Strengths: Fundamental Questions and Future Directions for a Positive Psychology, L. G. Aspinwall and U. M. Staudinger (Eds.), 2002, Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. 29. “Crafting a Job: Revisioning Employees as Active Crafters of Their Work,” by A. Wrzesniewski and J. E. Dutton, 2001, Academy of Management Review, 26, pp. 179–201. 30. Habits of the Heart: Individualism and Commitment in American Life, by R. N. Bellah, R. Madsen, W. M. Sullivan, A. Swidler, 233

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and S. M. Tipton, 1996, Berkeley: University of California Press. 31. “Jobs, Careers, and Callings: People’s Relations to Their Work,” by A. Wrzesniewski, C. R. McCauley, P. Rozin, and B. Schwartz, 1997, Journal of Research in Personality, 31, pp. 21–33.

Chapter 2: Happiness: The Goal We Rarely Talk About 1. “The Benefits of Frequent Positive Affect: Does Happiness Lead to Success?” by S. Lyubomirsky, L. King, and E. Diener, 2005, Psychological Bulletin, 131, pp. 803–855. 2. Nicomachean Ethics, trans. M. Ostwald, Aristotle, 1999, Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall. 3. “Positive Psychology: An Introduction,” by M. E. P. Seligman, and M. Csikszentmihalyi, 2000, American Psychologist, 55, pp. 5–14. 4. See note 1. 5. How Full Is Your Bucket? Positive Strategies for Work and Life, by T. Rath and D. O. Clifton, 2004, New York: Gallup Press. 6. International Positive Psychology Summit Panel, speech presented at the 4th International Positive Psychology Summit, by J. Clifton, Washington, DC, September/October, 2005. 7. “Happiness, Inc.,” by J. Zaslow, March 18, 2006, Wall Street Journal, p. P1. 8. “Positive Emotions in Early Life and Longevity: Findings from the Nun Study,” by D. D. Danner, D. A. Snowdon, and W. V. Friesen, 2001, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 80, pp. 804–813. 9. “Very Happy People,” by E. Diener and M. E. Seligman, 2002, Psychological Science, 13, pp. 81–84. 10. “The Art of Living by Dispositionally Happy People,” by A. Abbe, C. Tkach, and S. Lyubomirsky, 2003, Journal of Happiness Studies, 4, pp. 385–404. 234

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11. “Why Are Some People Happier than Others? The Role of Cognitive and Motivational Processes in Well-Being,” by S. Lyubomirsky, 2001, American Psychologist, 56, pp. 239–249. 12. “Is Life Getting Better? How Long and Happily Do People Live in Modern Society?” by R. Veenhoven, 2005, European Psychologist, 10, pp. 330–343. 13. “Interpersonal Flourishing: A Positive Health Agenda for the New Millennium,” by C. D. Ryff and B. Singer, 2000, Personality and Social Psychology Review, 4, pp. 30–44. 14. “Objective Happiness” (pp. 3–27), by D. Kahneman, in Well-Being: Foundations of Hedonic Psychology, D. Kahneman, E. Diener, and N. Schwarz (Eds.), 1999, New York: Russell Sage Foundation. 15. See note 14. 16. See note 14. 17. “Long-Term Meditators Self-Induce High-Amplitude Gamma Synchrony during Mental Practice,” by A. Lutz, L. L. Greischar, N. B. Rawlings, M. Ricard, and R. J. Davidson, 2004, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 101, pp. 16369–16373. 18. Positive Affect: Perspectives from Affective Neuroscience, paper presented at the annual Positive Psychology Summit, by R. Davidson, October 2001, Washington, DC. 19. “An Experience Sampling and Cross-Cultural Investigation of the Relation between Pleasant and Unpleasant Affect,” by C. N. Scollon, E. Diener, S. Oishi, and R. Biswas-Diener, 2005, Cognition and Emotion, 19, pp. 27–52. 20. “Facial Expression and Emotion,” by P. Ekman, 1993, American Psychologist, 48, pp. 384–392. 21. “Subjective Well-Being,” by E. Diener, 1984, Psychological Bulletin, 95, pp. 542–575. 22. “A Multitrait-Multimethod Examination of Affect Structure: Hedonic Level and Emotional Intensity,” by R. Larsen and E. Diener, 1985, Personality and Individual Differences, 6, pp. 631–636. 235

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23. “Most People Are Happy,” by E. Diener and C. Diener, 1996, Psychological Science, 7, pp. 181–185. 24. “Most People Are Pretty Happy, but There Is Cultural Variation: The Inughuit, the Amish, and the Maasai,” by R. Biswas-Diener, J. Vitterso, and E. Diener, 2005, Journal of Happiness Studies, 6, pp. 205–226. 25. “Happiness of the very wealthy,” by E. Diener, J. Horwitz, and R. Emmons, 1985, Social Indicators Research, 16, pp. 263–274. 26. “Emotions across Cultures and Methods,” by C. N. Scollon, E. Diener, S. Oishi, and R. Biswas-Diener, 2004, Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 35, pp. 304–326. 27. Toward a Psychology of Being, 2nd ed., A. H. Maslow, 1968, New York: Van Nostrand. 28. “Relationship between Attitudes and Evaluative Space: A Critical Review, with Emphasis on the Separability of Positive and Negative Substrates,” by J. T. Cacioppo and G. G. Berntson, 1994, Psychological Bulletin, 115, pp. 401–423. 29. The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals, by C. Darwin, 1998, Oxford: Oxford University Press (Original work published 1872). 30. “What Good Are Positive Emotions?” by B. L. Fredrickson, 1998, Review of General Psychology, 2, pp. 300–319. 31. See note 30. 32. See note 30. 33. Happiness: The Nature and Nurture of Joy and Contentment, D. Lykken, 1999, New York: St. Martin’s Griffin. 34. See note 33. 35. “Re-Examining Adaptation and the Set-Point Model of Happiness: Reactions to Changes in Marital Status,” by R. E. Lucas, A. Clark, Y. Georgellis, and E. Diener, 2003, Journal of Social and Personality Psychology, 84, pp. 527–539. 36. “Unemployment Alters the Set Point for Life Satisfaction,” by R. E. Lucas, A. E. Clark, Y. Georgellis, and E. Diener, 2004, Psychological Science, 15, pp. 8–13. 236

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37. See note 36. 38. See note 14. 39. “What to Do on Spring Break? The Role of Predicted, onLine, and Remembered Experience in Future Choice,” by D. Wirtz, J. Kruger, C. N. Scollon, and E. Diener, 2003, Psychological Science, 14, pp. 520–524. 40. http://www.psych.uiuc.edu/∼ediener. 41. The Pursuit of Happiness, D. Myers, 1992, New York: Avon Books. 42. See note 33.

Chapter 3: Choosing Happiness: Goals, Relationships, and Positive Thinking 1. Happiness: The Nature and Nurture of Joy and Contentment, by D. Lykken, 1999, New York: St. Martin’s Griffin. 2. “Subjective Well-Being: Three Decades of Progress,” by E. Diener, E. Suh, R. Lucas, and H. Smith, 1999, Psychological Bulletin, 125, pp. 276–302. 3. “Pursuing Happiness: The Architecture of Sustainable Change,” by S. Lyubomirsky, K. M. Sheldon, and D. Schkade, 2005, Review of General Psychology, 9, pp. 111–131. 4. “Value Pathways to Well-Being: Healthy Values, Valued Goal Attainment, and Environmental Congruence” (pp. 68–85), by L. Sagiv, S. Roccas, and O. Hazan, in Positive Psychology in Practice, P. A. Linley and S. Joseph (Eds.), 2004, Hoboken, NJ: Wiley. 5. The Psychology of Happiness, second edition, by M. Argyle, 2001, New York: Routledge. 6. “Optimistic Explanatory Style” (pp. 244–256), by C. Peterson and T. Steen, in Handbook of Positive Psychology, C. R. Snyder and S. Lopez (Eds.), 2002, New York: Oxford University Press. 7. The Psychology of Ultimate Concerns: Motivation and Spirituality in Personality, by R. A. Emmons, 1999, New York: Guilford Press. 237

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8. Paper presented at the BPS Coaching Psychology meeting, by M. Cavanaugh, London, December 2005. 9. “Resources, Personal Strivings, and Subjective Well-Being: A Nomothetic and Idiographic Approach,” by E. Diener and F. Fujita, 1995, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 68, pp. 926–935. 10. See note 7. 11. See note 7. 12. See note 7. 13. See note 7. 14. See note 7. 15. “Further Examining the American Dream: Differential Correlates of Intrinsic and Extrinsic Goals,” by T. Kasser and R. M. Ryan, 1996, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 22, 280–287; “Pursuing Personal Goals: Skills Enable Progress but Not All Progress Is Beneficial,” by K. M. Sheldon and T. Kasser, 1998, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 24, pp. 1319–1331. 16. “The Structure of Goal Contents across 15 Cultures,” by F. Grouzet, T. Kasser, A. Ahuvia, J. Dols, Y. Kim, S. Lau, et al., 2005, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 89, pp. 800–816. 17. “Conflict among Personal Strivings: Immediate and LongTerm Implications for Psychological and Physical WellBeing,” by R. A. Emmons and L. A. King, 1988, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 54, pp. 1040–1048. 18. “The Psychological Trade-Offs of Goal Investment,” by E. M. Pomerantz, J. L. Saxon, and S. Oishi, 2000, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 79, pp. 617–630. 19. “The Self-Concordance Model of Healthy Goal-Striving: When Personal Goals Correctly Represent the Person” (pp. 65–86), by K. M. Sheldon, in Handbook of SelfDetermination Research, E. L. Deci and R. M. Ryan (Eds.), 2002, Rochester, NY: University of Rochester Press.

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20. See note 5. 21. “The Nature of Love,” by H. Harlow, 1958, American Psychologist, 13, pp. 673–685. 22. In the Belly of the Beast: Letters from Prison, by J. H. Abbott, 1991, New York: Vintage Press. 23. “Very Happy People,” by E. Diener and M. E. Seligman, 2002, Psychological Science, 13, pp. 81–84. 24. “The Need to Belong: Desire for Interpersonal Attachments as a Fundamental Human Motivation,” by R. F. Baumeister and M. R. Leary, 1995, Psychological Bulletin, 117, pp. 497–529. 25. “Making the Best of a Bad Situation: Satisfaction in the Slums of Calcutta,” by R. Biswas-Diener and E. Diener, 2001, Social Indicators Research, 55, 329–352; “The Subjective Well-Being of the Homeless and Related Lessons for Happiness,” by R. Biswas-Diener and E. Niener, 2006, Social Indicators Research, 76, pp. 185–205. 26. See note 5. 27. The High Price of Materialism, by T. Kasser, 2002, Cambridge, MA: MIT Press. 28. “The Power of High Quality Connections” (pp. 263–278), by J. E. Dutton and E. D. Heaphy, in Positive Organizational Scholarship: Foundations of a New Discipline, K. S. Cameron, J. E. Dutton, and R. E. Quinn (Eds.), 2003, San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler. 29. “Optimistic Explanatory Style” (pp. 244–256), by C. Peterson and T. Steen, in Handbook of Positive Psychology, C. R. Snyder and S. Lopez (Eds.), 2002, New York: Oxford University Press. 30. The Pursuit of Happiness: Discovering the Pathway to Fulfillment, Well-Being, and Enduring Personal Joy, D. G. Myers, 1992, New York: Avon Books. 31. Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life, by M. E. P. Seligman, 1998, New York: Free Press.

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32. Overcoming Destructive Beliefs, Feelings, and Behaviors: New Directions for Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, A. Ellis, 2001, New York: Prometheus Books. 33. “Loss Aversion in Riskless Choice: A Reference Dependent Model,” by A. Tversky and D. Kahneman, 1991, Quarterly Journal of Economics, 106, pp. 1039–1061. 34. “Using the past to Enhance the Present: Boosting Happiness through Positive Reminiscence,” by F. B. Bryant, C. M. Smart, and S. P. King, 2005, Journal of Happiness Studies, 6, pp. 227–260. 35. Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment, by M. E. P. Seligman, 2002, New York: Free Press.

Chapter 4: Solid Happiness Interventions 1. Personal communication, S. Foster, 2006. 2. “Are Scandinavians Happier than Asians? Issues in Comparing Nations on Subjective Well-Being” (pp. 1–25), by E. Diener and S. Oishi, in Politics and Economics of Asia, F. Columbus (Ed.), 2004, Hauppauge, NY: Nova Science. 3. “Orientations to Happiness and Life Satisfaction: The Full Life versus the Empty Life,” by C. Peterson, N. Park, and M. E. P. Seligman, 2005, Journal of Happiness Studies, 6, pp. 25–41. 4. “What Good Are Positive Emotions?” by B. L. Frederickson, 1998, Review of General Psychology, 2, pp. 300–319. 5. Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment, by M. E. P. Seligman, 2002, New York: Free Press. 6. “Achieving Sustainable Gains in Happiness: Change Your Actions, Not Your Circumstances,” by K. M. Sheldon and S. Lyubomirsky, 2006, Journal of Happiness Studies, 7, pp. 55–86. 7. Quality of Life Therapy: Applying a Life Satisfaction Approach to Positive Psychology and Cognitive Therapy, M. B. Frisch, 2006, Hoboken, NJ: Wiley. 240

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8. See note 7. 9. “A Randomized Evaluation of Quality-of-Life Therapy with Patients Awaiting Lung Transplantation,” by J. R. Rodrigue, M. A. Baz, M. R. Widows, and S. Ehlers, 2005, American Journal of Transplantation, 5, pp. 2425–2432. 10. Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotion, by J. W. Pennebaker, 1997, New York: Guilford Press. 11. “The Health Benefits of Writing about Life Goals,” by L. A. King, 2001, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 27, pp. 798–807. 12. “Personal Goals and Psychological Growth: Testing an Intervention to Enhance Goal-Attainment and Personality Integration,” by K. M. Sheldon, T. Kasser, K. Smith, and T. Share, 2002, Journal of Personality, 70, pp. 5–31. 13. The Psychology of Happiness, second edition, M. Argyle, 2001, New York: Routledge. 14. “Positive Moods Derived from Leisure and Their Relationship to Happiness and Personality,” by P. Hills and M. Argyle, 1998, Personality and Individual Differences, 25, pp. 523–535. 15. “Using the past to Enhance the Present: Boosting Happiness through Positive Reminiscence,” by Bryant, F. B., Smart, C. M., and King, S. P., 2005, Journal of Happiness Studies, 6, pp. 227–260. 16. See note 1. 17. See note 15. 18. “The Costs and Benefits of Writing, Talking, and Thinking about Life’s Triumphs and Defeats,” by S. Lyubomirksy, L. Sousa, and R. Dickerhoof, 2006, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 90, pp. 692–708. 19. “Forgiveness and Happiness: The Differing Contexts of Forgiveness Using the Distinction between Hedonic and Eudaimonic Happiness,” by J. Maltby, L. Day, and L. Barber, 2005, Journal of Happiness Studies, 6, pp. 1–13. 20. “Facilitating Forgiveness: Developing Group and Community Interventions” (pp. 482–503), by F. D. Fincham and 241

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21.

22.

23.

24. 25.

26.

27.

28.

29.

T. B. Kashdan, in International Handbook of Positive Psychology in Practice: From Research to Application, P. A. Linley and S. Joseph (Eds.), 2006, Hoboken, NJ: Wiley. “The Grateful Disposition: A Conceptual and Empirical Topography,” by M. E. McCullough, R. A. Emmons, and J. Tsang, 2002, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 82, pp. 112–127. “Counting Blessings versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life,” by R. A. Emmons and M. E. McCullough, 2003, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84, pp. 377–389. “Positive Psychology Progress: Empirical Validation of Interventions,” by M. E. P. Seligman, T. Steen, N. Park, and C. Peterson, 2005, American Psychologist, 60, pp. 410–421. See note 21. “The Benefits of Frequent Positive Affect: Does Happiness Lead to Success?” by S. Lyubomirsky, L. King, and E. Diener, 2005, Psychological Bulletin, 131, pp. 803–855. “Doing Well by Doing Good: Benefits for the Benefactor” (pp. 227–248), by J. A. Piliavin, in Flourishing: Positive Psychology and the Life Well-Lived, C. L. M. Keyes and J. Haidt (Eds.), 2002, Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. Benefits of Positive Emotion, paper presented at the Subjective Well-Being Conference, by L. King, April 2006, St. Louis, MO. “Happy People Become Happier through Kindness: A Counting Kindness Intervention,” by K. Otake, S. Shimai, J. Tanaka-Matsumi, and B. L. Fredrickson, 2006, Journal of Happiness Studies, 7, pp. 361–375. See note 5.

Chapter 5: Strengths Coaching 1. “Strengths Coaching: A Potential-Guided Approach to Coaching Psychology,” by P. A. Linley and S. Harrington, 2006, International Coaching Psychology Review, 1, pp. 37–46. 242

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2. “Positive Psychology Progress: Empirical Validation of Interventions,” by M. E. P. Seligman, T. Steen, N. Park, and C. Peterson, 2005, American Psychologist, 60, pp. 410–421. 3. “Personal Goals, Life Meaning, and Virtue: Wellsprings of a Positive Life” (pp. 275–289), by R. A. Emmons, in Flourishing: Positive Psychology and the Life Well-Lived, C. L. M. Keyes and J. Haidt (Eds.), 2003, Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. 4. The Relative Value of Three Methods of Improving Reading: Tachistoscope, Films, and Determined Effort, by J. W. Glock, Unpublished doctoral dissertation, 1955, University of Nebraska, Lincoln; cited in “Investing in Strengths” (pp. 111–121), by D. O. Clifton and J. K. Harter, in Positive Organizational Scholarship, K. S. Cameron, J. Dutton, and R. Quinn (Eds.), 2003, San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler. 5. Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification, by C. Peterson and M. E. P. Seligman, 2004, Washington, DC: American Psychological Association and Oxford University Press. 6. “From the Equator to the Arctic: A Cross-Cultural Study of Strengths and Virtues,” by R. Biswas-Diener, 2006, Journal of Happiness Studies, 7, pp. 293–310. 7. “Elevation and the Positive Psychology of Morality” (pp. 275–289), by J. Haidt, in Flourishing: Positive Psychology and the Life Well-Lived, C. L. M. Keyes and J. Haidt (Eds.), 2003, Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. 8. See note 5. 9. “Strengths of Character and Well-Being,” by N. Park, C. Peterson, and M. E. P. Seligman, 2004, Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 5, pp. 603–619. 10. A Primer in Positive Psychology, by C. Peterson, 2006, New York: Oxford University Press. 11. Strengths Quest: Discover and Develop Your Strengths in Academics, Career, and Beyond, second edition, D. O. Clifton, 243

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12. 13.

14.

15. 16.

E. Anderson, and L. A. Schreiner, 2006, New York: Gallup Press. See note 2. “Practical Wisdom: Aristotle Meets Positive Psychology,” by B. Schwartz and K. E. Sharpe, 2006, Journal of Happiness Studies, 7, pp. 377–395. Co-Active Coaching: New Skills for Coaching People toward Success in Work and Life, by L. Whitworth, H. Kimsey-House, and P. Sandhal, 1998, Palo Alto, CA: Davies-Black. Cavanaugh, M. (December 2005). Paper presented at the BPS Coaching Psychology meeting, London. See note 5.

Chapter 6: Coaching to Personal Strengths 1. Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification, by C. Peterson and M. E. P. Seligman, 2004, Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. 2. A Geography of Time: The Temporal Misadventures of a Social Psychologist, or How Every Culture Keeps Time Just a Little Bit Differently, by R. Levine, 1998, New York: Basic Books. 3. “Balancing Time Perspective in Pursuit of Optimal Functioning” (pp. 165–180), by I. Boniwell and P. G. Zimbardo, in Positive Psychology in Practice, A. Linley and S. Joseph (Eds.), 2004, Hoboken, NJ: Wiley. 4. See note 2. 5. Savoring: A New Model of Positive Emotion, by F. Bryant and J. Veroff, 2007, Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum. 6. See note 5. 7. “Elevation and the Positive Psychology of Morality” (pp. 275–289), by J. Haidt, in Flourishing: Positive Psychology and the Life Well-Lived, C. Keyes and J. Haidt (Eds.), 2003, Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. 8. “Social Comparison in Adjustment to Breast Cancer” (pp. 151–165), by J. V. Wood, S. E. Taylor, and R. R.

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9. 10. 11. 12. 13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

Lichtman, in P. Salovey and A. Rothman (Eda). Social Psychology of Health, 2003, New York: Psychology Press. See note 7. Helplessness: On Depression, Development, and Death, by M. E. P. Seligman, 1975, New York: Freeman. Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life, by M. E. P. Seligman, 1998, New York: Free Press. See note 11. “Optimism” (pp. 231–243), by C. Carver and M. Sheier, in Handbook of Positive Psychology, C. R. Snyder and S. Lopez (Eds.), 2002, New York: Oxford University Press. “Hope Theory: A Member of the Positive Psychology Family” (pp. 257–276), by C. R. Snyder, K. Rand, and D. Sigmon, in Handbook of Positive Psychology, C. R. Snyder and S. Lopez (Eds.), 2002, New York: Oxford University Press. “Optimistic Explanatory Style” (pp. 244–256), by C. Peterson and T. Steen, in Handbook of Positive Psychology, C. R. Snyder and S. Lopez (Eds.), 2002, New York: Oxford University Press. “Three Human Strengths” (pp. 87–102), by C. Carver and M. Sheier, in A Psychology of Human Strengths: Fundamental Questions and Future Directions for a Positive Psychology, L. Aspinwall and U. Staudinger (Eds.), 2002, Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. See note 16.

Chapter 7: Coaching to Social Strengths 1. Grooming, Gossip, and the Evolution of Language, by R. Dunbar, 1998, Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press. 2. “Work Happy: Developing Employee Engagement to Deliver Competitive Advantage,” by M. Stairs, 2005, Selection and Development Review, 21, pp. 7–11. 3. “Move the Body, Change the Self: Acculturation Effects on the Self-Concept” (pp. 305–331), by S. J. Heine and D. R.

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4.

5.

6. 7.

8. 9.

10.

11. 12.

13. 14. 15. 16.

Lehman, in The Psychological Foundations of Culture, M. Shaller and C. S. Crandall (Eds.), 2004, Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum. Habits of the Heart: Individualism and Commitment in American Life, updated edition, by R. N. Bellah, R. Madsen, W. M. Sullivan, A. Swidler, and S. M. Tipton, 1996, Berkeley: University of California Press. Effective Teamwork: Practical Lessons from Organizational Research, second edition, M. A. West, 2004, Oxford, England: Blackwell. Great Speeches, by A. Lincoln, 1991, Mineola, NY: Dover. Inspirational Leadership, Insight into Action: The Development of the Inspire Tool, Report prepared for the department of Trade and Industry, England, by J. Garret, 2005. Social Psychology, eighth edition, by D. G. Myers, 2005, New York: McGraw-Hill. “A Validation Study of Belbin’s Team Roles,” by S. G. Fisher, T. A. Hunter, and W. D. K. MacRosson, 2001, European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology, 10, pp. 121–144. Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification, by C. Peterson and M. E. P. Seligman, 2004, Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. A Primer in Positive Psychology, by C. Peterson, 2006, New York: Oxford University Press. “Selection and Development: A New Perspective on Some Old Problems,” by P. A. Linley, S. Harrington, and J. R. W. Hill, 2005, Selection and Development Review, 21, pp. 3–6. See note 11. Cupid’s Arrow: The Course of Love through Time, by R. J. Sternberg, 2000, Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. See note 11. Attachment and Loss: Vol. 2. Separation: Anxiety and Anger, by J. Bowlby, 1973, New York: Basic Books.

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17. “A Cross-National Study on the Relations among ProSocial Moral Reasoning, Gender Role Orientations, and Pro-Social Behaviors,” by G. Carlo, S. H. Koller, N. Eisenberg, M. S. Da Silva, and C. B. Frohlich, 1996, Developmental Psychology, 32, pp. 231–140. 18. “Empathy, Attitudes, and Action: Can Feeling for a Member of a Stigmatized Group Motivate One to Help the Group?” by C. D. Batson, J. Chang, R. Orr, and J. Rowland, 2002, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28, pp. 1656–1666. 19. “The Benefits of Frequent Positive Affect: Does Happiness Lead to Success?” by S. Lyubomirsky, L. King, and E. Diener, 2005, Psychological Bulletin, 131, pp. 803–855. 20. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, 15th anniversary edition, by S. R. Covey, 2004, New York: Free Press. 21. See note 11. 22. See note 11. 23. CEO Turnover at Highest Rate since 2001, March 7, 2005, available from CNNMoney.com. 24. “Justice as Fairness,” by J. Rawls, 1958, Philosophical Review, 57, pp. 164–194. 25. Anarchy, State, and Utopia, by R. Nozick, 1974, New York: Basic Books. 26. Essays on Moral Development, vols. 1 and 2, L. Kohlberg, 1981/1984, New York: Harper & Row.

Chapter 8: Helping Clients Craft the Perfect Job 1. What Should I Do with My Life? The True Story of People Who Answered the Ultimate Question, by P. Bronson, 2002, New York: Random House. 2. Habits of the Heart: Individualism and Commitment in American Life, updated edition, by R. N. Bellah, R. Madsen, W. M. Sullivan, A. Swidler, and S. M. Tipton, 1996, Berkeley: University of California Press.

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3. “Work Satisfaction as a Function of the Person-Environment Interaction,” by J. Seybolt, 1976, Organizational Behavior and Human Performance, 17, pp. 66–75. 4. “Finding Positive Meaning in Work” (pp. 296–308), by A. Wrzesniewski, in Positive Organizational Scholarship: Foundations of a New Discipline, K. S. Cameron, J. E. Dutton, and R. E. Quinn (Eds.), 2003, San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler. 5. “Jobs, Careers, and Callings: People’s Relations to Their Work,” by A. Wrzesniewski, C. R. McCauley, P. Rozin, and B. Schwartz, 1997, Journal of Research in Personality, 31, pp. 21–33. 6. Personal communication, A. Wrzesniewski, 2003. 7. See note 4. 8. “Crafting a Job: Revisioning Employees as Active Crafters of Their Work,” by A. Wrzesniewski and J. E. Dutton, 2001, Academy of Management Review, 26, pp. 179–201. 9. “Clients as a Source of Enjoyment on the Job: How Hairstylists Shape Demeanor and Personal Disclosures” (pp. 1–32), by R. C. Cohen and R. I. Sutton, in Advances in Qualitative Organization Research, A. J. Wagner (Ed.), 1998, Greenwich, CT: JAI Press. 10. Working Identity: Unconventional Strategies for Reinventing Your Career, by H. Ibarra, 2003, Boston: Harvard Business School Press. 11. “Culture and the Self: Implications for Cognition, Emotion, and Motivation,” by H. Markus and S. Kitayama, 1991, Psychological Review, 98, pp. 224–253. 12. “The Cultural Construction of Self and Emotion: Implications for Social Behavior” (pp. 89–130), by H. R. Markus and S. Kitayama, in Emotion and Culture: Empirical Studies of Mutual Influence, S. Kitayama and H. R. Markus (Eds.), 1994, Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

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13. “The Reference Other Orientation” (pp. 121–151), by T. Kuwayana, in Japanese Sense of Self, N. R. Rosenburger (Ed.),1992, Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. 14. See note 12.

Chapter 9: The Future of Positive Psychology Coaching 1. “The Power of Positive Psychology: An Interview with Dr. Alex Linley,” by J. Hill, 2005, Kenexas Connection Newsletter, 4, retrieved August 21, 2006, from http://www.kenexa.com /newsletter/0305_index.asp?uid=1&tbl=test. 2. How Full Is Your Bucket? Positive Strategies for Work and Life, by T. Rath and D. O. Clifton, 2004, New York: Gallup Press. 3. Personal communication, J. Pawelski, 2006. 4. Personal communication, C. Kaufman, 2006. 5. See note 3.

Appendix: Planning Positive Psychology Coaching Sessions 1. Evidence Based Coaching Handbook, by D. Stober and A. Grant, 2006, Hoboken, NJ: Wiley. 2. “The Satisfaction with Life Scale,” by E. Diener, R. A. Emmons, R. J. Larsen, and S. Griffin, 1985, Journal of Personality Assessment, 49, pp. 71–75.

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Index

Abbot, Jack Henry, 74 Accredited Coach Training Organizations (ACTO), 5 Action steps, 56, 86–87, 140, 185, 206 Adaptation, happiness and, 49–51 Anxiety, goals and, 72–74 Appreciation (of present), 154 camera technique, 155 upward comparison, 156 Approach goals, 65–67 Aquinas, Thomas, 28 Argyle, Michael, 100 Assessments, 56 baseline, 224 positive psychology, 216–217 work orientation, 201–203 Authentic Happiness Coaching (AHC) program, ix, xiv, 30 Avoidant goals, 66–67 Awe (emotion of), 126, 155–156, 163

Baseline: assessment, 224 feelings (of happiness), 49 Baumeister, Roy, 75 Belbin, Meredith, 174 Bellah, Robert, 20, 192, 194–195 Boniwell, Ilona, 149 British Psychological Society, 4 Bronson, Po, 191 Bryant, Fred, 103–105, 151–153 Cacioppo, John, 46 Calling (work orientation), 192, 195 Camera technique (appreciation of present), 155 Career (work orientation), 192, 194–195 Carver, Charles, 158, 161 Cavanaugh, Michael, 62–63 Center for Applied Positive Psychology, viii, 176, 214

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INDEX Character trade-off, 129 Circumstantial happiness, 53–55, 94 Citizenship (social strength), 124, 144, 175, 181–182 Clifton, Don, 20, 211 Clifton, Jim, 7, 12, 32 Coaching, 140, 163, 185, 206 character strengths, 117–139 happiness and, 26–32 helping clients craft the perfect job, 189–205 paradox of, 3 personal strengths, 143–162 planning client sessions, 221–230 positive psychology, xi, 1–22, 209–220, 228–229 science and, 4–10, 21–22 services (selling of), 93 SMART, 16, 63–65 social strengths, 165–184, 173–177 tools for, 8–9 working with own strengths within, 136–139 Comparison, social, 156 Confidence (personal strength), 158, 163–164, 170 Conflict, goals and, 71–72 Control, personal, happiness and, 60–61 Courage (personal strength), 122, 124, 134, 155, 175 Covey, Steven, 180

Culture, 185 evolutionary tendency toward kinship, 168–169 individualism, 170–171 socially acquired, 169–170 Values in Action Inventory of Strengths (VIA-IS) and, 125 Curiosity (personal strength), 18, 121, 124, 128–129, 144–145, 216, 222 fostering, 132–133 Danner, Deborah, 33 Darwin, Charles, 28, 46 David, Susan, 6, 32 David’s Bridal, 32 Davidson, Richard, 38 Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), 121 Diener, Ed, 15, 33–34, 40, 53, 64, 74–76, 109 Diminishing marginal utility, 76 Domain satisfaction measure, 225 Dunbar, Robin, 167 Dutton, Jane, 77, 198 Ekman, Paul, 40 Elevation (emotion of), 126 Ellis, Albert, 81 Emmons, Robert, 66–68, 71 Emotions, 41, 46 awe, 126, 155–156, 163 elevation and, 126 versus strengths, 121–123 Evidence Based Psychology, 6, 32

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Index Evolution: emotions, 45–46 kinship, 168–169 Exercise, happiness, 100–102 Explanatory style, optimism and, 159–160 Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals, The (Darwin), 46 Expressive writing paradigm (as happiness intervention), 98–100 Extrinsic goals (versus intrinsic), 68–70 Fairness (social strength), 124, 128–129, 144, 172, 175, 182–184 Fincham, Frank, 107 Flaubert, Gustave, 28 Forgiveness (as happiness intervention), 105–107 Foster, Sandra, 91, 104, 106–107 Fredrickson, Barb, 47 Friends, number of, 166–167 Frisch, Michael, 96–98 Fujita, Frank, 64 Gallup Organization/ Corporation, 20, 29, 32, 211 StrengthsFinder (test), 129–130 Garret, Jill, 174 Genetics, happiness and, 42, 54–55, 59–60 Giving up, optimism and, 161

Goal(s), 86 anxiety, 72–74 conflict and, 71–72 content of, 67–68 happiness, 16–17, 25–56, 61–85 intrinsic, versus extrinsic, 68–70 motivation and, 68–71 orientation of (approach versus avoidant), 65–67 representation of, 70 SMART and, 63–65 Grant, Anthony, 4, 6, 7 Gratitude (as happiness intervention), 107–109 Green, Suzy, 9 Grouzet, Frederick, 70 Habits, cognitive, differences in (of happy people), 32–35 Habits of the Heart: Individualism and Commitment in American Life (Bellah), 20, 192 Haidt, Jon, 126, 155 Happiness: benefits of, x, 12–14, 30–33, 47–48, 78, 93, 105, 120, 157 circumstantial, 53–55, 94 coaching and, 26–32 evolutionary role, 45–46 exercise and, 100–102 genetics, 42, 54–55, 59–60 goals, 16–17, 25–56, 61–85 habits and, 32–35 history of, 28–29

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INDEX Happiness (continued) interventions, 89–112, 130–139 meaning of the “word,” 39–41 personal control, 60–61 positive psychology, 29–32 positive thinking, 59–85 processes of, 42–53 relationships, 17, 59–85 scientific history of, 35–39 timeline of, 51–53 well-being and, 15–17, 39, 40–42, 55, 59 Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom (Haidt), 155 Heine, Steve, 169–170, 185 Hero Within Charter School, viii How Full is Your Bucket? (Rath/Clifton), 32, 211 Humanity, strengths of, 177 kindness, 179–180 love, 178 social intelligence, 178

forgiveness, 105–107 gratitude, 107–109 positive reminiscence, 102–105 quality of life therapy (QQLT), 95–98 positive psychology, 217–218, 228–229 strengths: foster curiosity, 132–133 identify/discuss signature strengths (using VIA-IS), 130–132 seek opportunity for humor, 133–135 work with your own strengths, 135–139 Intrapersonal strength, 19, 144–162 Intrinsic goals, versus extrinsic, 68–70

Ibarra, Herminia, 199 Individualism, 170–171 Intelligence, social, 178 International Coach Federation (ICF), 4, 136 Interpersonal strength, 19, 69, 74, 76, 144–145, 171, 173–174 Interventions, 112 happiness, 89–95 altruism and, 109–111 exercise, physical, 100–102 expressive writing paradigm, 98–100

Job(s), 192 helping clients craft, 189–205 work orientation, 193–201 Job crafting, 197, 204–206 forms of, 198–199 Journal of Happiness Studies, 134 Justice (social strength), 124, 144, 175 citizenship, 181–182 fairness, 182–184 leadership, 181 Kahneman, Daniel, 36–37, 51, 81–82 Kasser, Tim, 68–69

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Index Kaufman, Carol, 4, 30 Kindness (personal strength), 110–111, 124, 129, 144, 172, 175, 178–180 King, Laura, 71, 98–99, 109–110 King, Jr., Martin L., 17, 171–172 Kinship, evolutionary tendency toward, 168–169 Kitiyama, Shinobu, 200 Kohlberg, Lawrence, 183 Leadership (personal/social strength), 18, 124, 128–129, 143, 145, 171–175, 181 Leary, Mark, 75 Lehman, Darrin, 169–170 Levine, Robert, 147–148, 150 Linley, Alex, 118, 176, 211, 212, 214–215 Love, 46–47, 92, 124, 144, 175, 178–179, 185 Lucas, Rich, 49 Lykken, David, 55 Lyubomirsky, Sonja, 12, 31, 34–35, 60, 94, 105, 109 Maltby, John, 106 Markus, Hazel, 200 Maslow, Abraham, 8, 11, 28, 36, 44 Mayerson Foundation, viii McCullough, Michael, 108 MentorCoach approach, 225 Pillars of a Balance Life, 225–226 Mill, John Stuart, 28 Mitten, Steve, 4

Motivation, goals, 68–71 Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), 8–9, 194 Nozick, Robert, 183 Optimism (personal strength), 157–162 explanatory style and, 159–160 giving up, 161 goals and, 65–67 Otake, Keiko, 110 Paradox of coaching, 3 Park, Nansook, 127 Pawelski, James, 212–214, 219 Pearce, Barnett W., 4 Pennebaker, James, 98 People, as social animals, 167–171 Peterson, Chris, xi, 18, 92, 120–123, 128, 159, 175, 178, 181 Pillars of a Balanced Life, MentorCoach approach, 225–228 Pomerantz, Eva, 72 Positive psychology, x, 11 assessments, 216–217 coaching, xi, 1–22, 93, 209–230 history of, 29–30 interventions using, 217–218, 228–229 strengths and, 144–145 what makes it useful, 210–212 work and, 203–205

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INDEX Positivity. See Happiness Positivity offset, 46 Positivity portfolio, 89–90 Possible selves, 200 Quality of life therapy, 95–98 Quality of Life Inventory (QOLI), 96 Quality of Life Therapy (Frisch), 97 Rath, Tom, 211 Rawls, John, 183 Relationships: choosing happiness in, 16–17, 59–85 social, 74–78 Reminiscence, positive, 102–105 Resilience, 19, 32, 44, 80, 146 Richard, Mathieu, 38 Richarde, Pamela, 5 Ryff, Carol, 36 Satisfaction with Life Scale, 225 Savoring (personal strength), 150–154 “blocking interfering stimuli,” 153 versus dwelling, 152 Scheier, Michael, 158, 161 Schwartz, Barry, 134 Schweitzer, Albert, 10 Science: coaching and, 4–10, 21–22 history of happiness, 35–39

Seligman, Martin, viii, xi, 11, 29, 137–138, 157, 175, 178, 181 Authentic Happiness Coaching (AHC) program, ix, xiv, 30 studies by, 33–34, 74, 111, 120–123 Service delivery, 93, 216, 218–219 Seybolt, John, 193 Sharpe, Kenneth, 134 Sheldon, Kennon, 68–69, 73, 94, 99 SMART, 16, 63–65 Social animals, people as, 167–171 Solution-Focused Life Coaching (Green), 9 Stairs, Martin, 167 Steen, Tracy, 159 Stober, Diane, 4, 6 Strength(s), 140 assessing client’s, 126–130 Gallup StrengthsFinder, 129–130 Values in Action Inventory of Strengths (VIA-IS), 127–128 background to, 120–124 character (coaching of), 17–19, 117–139 classification/criteria of, 121–122, 124 humanity, 178–180

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Index interpersonal, 19, 69, 74, 76, 144–145, 171, 173–174 intervention(s), 130–139 foster curiosity, 132–133 identify/discuss signature strengths (using VIA-IS), 130–132 seek opportunity for humor, 133–135 work with your own strengths, 135–139 intrapersonal, 19, 144–145 appreciating the present, 154–156 optimism, 157–162 savoring, 150–154 time orientations, 146–150 introduction, 138, 222–224 justice and, 181–184 personal (coaching of), 143–162 positive psychology, 144–145 social, 145, 175–177 acquisition of culture and, 169–170 coaching to, 165–184, 173–177 recognizing and valuing, 171–173 Values in Action Inventory of Strengths (VIA-IS), 124, 134, 144, 175–177 cultural applicability of, 125 working with, 125–126, 136–139 work on, 123

StrengthsFinder (test), 129–130 Synder, C.R., 158 Taylor, Shelly, 177 Tend and befriend (stress reaction), 178 Thinking: style (biases of), 79–84 positive, 35, 61, 78–79, 84–85, 87, 91, 160 Timeline, happiness and, 51–53 Time orientation (personal strength), 146–150 future-oriented, 149 past-oriented, 148–149 present-oriented, 149 Time perspective, 148–150 University of Pennsylvania, viii Upward comparison, 156 Values in Action (VIA), 111, 123–124, 125, 134–135, 137, 144, 175–177 Institute, viii Inventory of Strengths (VIA-IS), 127–128, 130–131, 225 coaching social strengths with, 175–177 culture and, 125 Veenhoven, Ruut, 35–36 Well-being, subjective, 36, 39–42, 55, 59 altruism and, 110 versus happiness, 15–17

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INDEX West, Michael, 171 What Should I Do with My Life? (Bronson), 191 Wirtz, Derrick, 52 Women, “tend and befriend” stress reaction, 177–178 Work, positive psychology at, 203–205 Work identity experiments, 205 Working identity, 199–200, 203–204

Working Identity (Ibarra), 199 Work orientation, 192–193, 206 assessments of, 201–203 background to, 193–201 types of, 192, 194–195 Wrzesniewski, Amy, 194–199, 201 Zimbardo, Philip, 148–149

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Positive Psychology Coaching: Putting the Science of Happiness to Work for Your Clients

Evidence based coaching handbook: putting best practices to work for your clients

Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment

Practicing Sabermetrics: Putting the Science of Baseball Statistics to Work

Putting Auction Theory to Work

Coaching Positively: Lessons for Coaches from Positive Psychology

Putting Balanced Scorecard to Work

The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work

Putting auction theory to work