Missing People: The Adventures of Mal Yasic

better talk yasic.

i wouldn’t tell them a thing, but it was beginning to hurt bad. and more pain was coming. the colonel is really going to hurt you.

he’s got this machine. . better tell us who sent you to find us.

oh yeah?

i was contacted by phone, the money was paid in advance by mail. i’ve got no idea. . .

i don’t know.

well you better get one quick mal yasic, or you’ll be sorry. i’m shaking in my boots pal.

my only chance was to get them mad. i hope the colonel is better looking than you apes.

GET THEM TO SLIP UP, MAKE A MISTAKE. I’M TIRED OF THIS ASSHOLE.

RELAX WE’LL BE FINISHED WITH HIM SOON ENOUGH.

I MET HER IN CENTRAL PARK. SHE WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I’D EVER SEEN AND PROBABLY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CLIENT I’D EVER HAVE.

IF I COULD STAY ALIVE. THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS TURNING HER OVER TO A BUNCH OF SCUMBAGS LIKE THESE GUYS.

MAL YASIC? I’D LIKE TO CONTRACT YOU FOR A JOB. I HOPE YOU CAN HELP ME.

THEY WANTED ME TO FIND COLONEL MOYANO. THAT’S ALL I KNOW. *cough*

I MARRIED THIS MAN JUST TO GET INTO THE COUNTRY. HE DID NOT OBJECT AND WAS QUITE HELPFUL. BUT WHEN I ARRIVED HERE FROM PERU, HE WAS GONE. IF I DON’T FIND HIM, I WON’T BE ABLE TO LEGITIMIZE MY CITIZENSHIP. NEW YORK IS A BIG TOWN TO BE ALONE IN MR. YASIC.

YOU WORKING FOR THE DEA YOU PIECE OF SHIT? MAYBE THE CIA HUH? NO. I’M 007.

THE GODS OF THE COUNA PEOPLE ARE VENGEFUL. HE CAN DEAL WITH THIS HIMSELF. YOU ARE SNORTING WAY TOO MUCH BLOW INDIO. YOU NEED TO RELAX.

ONE MORE THING YASIC. WHEN YOU FIND HIM, DON’T CONTACT HIM. HE IS A MILITARY COLONEL, YOU KNOW HOW SOLDIERS CAN BE. JUST LOCATE HIM AND STAY SAFE.

FORGET IT. LET MOYANO SORT THIS SHIT OUT.IT’S HIM WITH THE CURSE ON HIS HEAD. I DON’T WANT NO PART OF IT.

WHAT IRA DIDN’T KNOW IS THAT THERE IS NO SAFE IN THIS GAME. THIS MOYANO WASN’T EASY TO FIND. THERE WAS NO OFFICIAL TRACE OF HIM ANYWHERE. LUCKY FOR ME HE WAS HEAVILY INVOLVED IN NARCOTICS AND MY BOY FATS HAD A GIFT FOR TRACKING DOWN DRUG DEALERS. BUT SOMETHING WASN’T RIGHT. A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN LIKE THAT, WITH A COLONEL WHO’D MAKE KISSINGER LOOK LIKE A CHOIRBOY? IT DIDN’T ADD UP.

I FOUND THIS PERUVIAN MERC WHO SAID HE ’D TAKE US TO MOYANO. YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR ASS AND MINE YASIC. THESE GUYS AREN’T BUDDHIST MONKS, I’D HATE TO SEE YOU GET THAT PRETTY FACE ALL BUSTED UP. MEET ME HERE AT 10:00 TONIGHT. NO PROBLEM.

she appeared later that night in my office.

I’M MEETING SOMEONE TONIGHT WHO WILL TAKE ME TO HIM. YOU ALRIGHT?

have you found moyanO?

YES. THIS CITY IS JUST SO STRANGE. . .

HUH?!? I WAS JUST ABOUT TO CALL YOU. WHAT ARE YOU PSYCHIC OR SOMETHING?

SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE IN SEPTEMBER. LISTEN, MOYANO IS DANGEROUS IRA. I CAN HELP YOU WITH YOUR CITIZENSHIP, HELP YOU GET SET UP. . .

. .MUST HANDLE ALONE. I APPRECIATE YOUR OFFER BUT I HOPE YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THAT.

SO THIS IS THE MAN YES?

WELL PERHAPS A LITTLE CIVILITY IS IN ORDER. YOU’LL TALK NOW WON’T YOU MR. YASIC?

I’D PREFER NOT TO INVOLVE YOU MAL. THIS IS SOMETHING I MUST. . .

MORE THAN YOU KNOW LADY.

YEAH BUT HE AIN’T TALKIN’. AND WE’VE WORKED HIM OVER PRETTY GOOD.

NOT A CHANCE.

GUYS LIKE THE COLONEL DIDN’T MAKE MISTAKES, I WAS GOING TO NEED A MIRACLE.

MY ONLY CHANCE WAS TO PISS HIM OFF SO HE’D END IT QUICK. I’LL DIE BEFORE I TELL YOU - ARRGH!

YOU CAN SHOVE YOUR CIVILITY UP YOUR ASS. THE PEOPLE WHO HIRED ME KNOW I FOUND YOU, YOU’RE JUST TOO STUPID TO KNOW WHEN TO BE AFRAID.

ENOUGH!

BE CAREFUL COLONEL. HE’S DANGEROUS. THE SON OF A BITCH TOOK OUT TWO OF OUR MEN WHEN WE FOUND HIM AND THE FUCKER WAS UNARMED.

poor fats was lucky, he died quickly. i had just enough time to see his blood spray across the room to react.

TAKE HIM TO THE MACHINE. I WANT TO SEE THIS PIECE OF SHIT SINGING AND DANCING.

it seemed like days ago now. fats and i went to meet the peruvian. i should’ve known it was a trap. they worked for moyano.

i made sure to get the peruvian first. smashed his face like a watermelon.

i managed to get another one before i went down.

the machine didn’t sound like fun. i had no choice but to save my strength, wait for a chance and go down fighting. or pray.

it’s now or never. .

i was waiting for a miracle and it came. you hear that?

yeah and it sounds like a storm is coming. . .

i think he passed out colonel. doesn’t matter, he’ll be wide awake and screaming soon.

it was more than a storm, it was a female whirlwind of fury straight from the depths of hell. the goons were paralyzed with fear, it was the best chance a man could ask for.

kill her!

aackk!

IT WAS IRA LOOKING AS BEAUTIFUL AS BEFORE BUT THIS TIME WITH A FEROCITY TO MATCH. WITH A KILLER INSTINCT AND ARMED ONLY WITH A KNIFE IRA CUT THROUGH MOYANO’S MEN.

THE GODDESS OF THE COUNA HAS COME! JESUS SAVE US WE ARE ALL DOOMED

-ackI HELPED OUT AS BEST I COULD.

IT HAS BEEN FIVE YEARS SINCE YOU SLAUGHTERED MY PEOPLE MOYANO. NOW IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO PAY THE PRICE, THE PRICE FOR RAPE AND MURDER. THE PRICE FOR GENOCIDE! NO! NO! IT WASN’T MY FAULT!

I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED NEXT BECAUSE I BLACKED OUT FROM THE PAIN I’D ENDURED. bUT THERE WERE TERRIBLE SCREAMS. . .

TWO DAYS LATER I WOKE UP IN A HOSPITAL. THEY SAID I WAS DELIRIOUS, RAMBLING ON ABOUT HUMAN SACRIFICES AND LONG DEAD TRIBES. THE SMELL OF BLOOD STILL LINGERED ON ME. MY OWN?

the nurses only knew a young woman dropped me here. there was nothing connecting me to the massacre of my captors.

IRA. . .

who was she? a narcotics officer? a rival drug lord? a goddess? there was no way to ever know for sure. WHAT’S THIS?

AS PAYMENT, Ira HAD LEFT A VALUABLE SOUVENIR IN MY OFFICE. It wasn’t the kind of currency I liked, BUT IT WAS PURE GOLD. IT WAS ALSO MORE THAN SIXTY THOUSAND YEARS OLD.

THREE NIGHTS WITHOUT A LEAD TO GO ON. . .

UNTIL I FOUND THAT SMILING BASTARD, PETE THE CUBAN. WE’RE ALMOST THERE, MAN.

THOSE BIG TEETH OF HIS KEPT SUCKING IN AIR AS HE TRIED TO PLAY MY BEST FRIEND.

RIGHT HERE, MAN.

I KNEW IT WAS A SET UP, PETE AND HIS BOYS WERE PROBABLY TRYING TO ROB ME. BUT THEY KNEW THE GIRL I WAS LOOKING FOR, I WAS SURE OF IT.

SO YOU’RE LOOKIN’ FOR THE DANCER HUH? YOU BRING THE CASH MAN? THE INFO AIN’T FREE. MAYBE.

wha’choo mean maybe, holmes?

I MEAN, I DON’T HAVE ANY CASH ON ME. DO YOU TAKE INTERAC?

nothing like a few jokes to set off an angry mob of thugs.

IT WAS GOING GREAT TOO. .

UNTIL THEIR LEADER GOT A LITTLE OVER EXCITED. SAY SOMETHING FUNNY NOW MR. CHARLIE CHAPLIN.

HE THOUGHT I’D BE AN EASY MARK. LITTLE DID HE KNOW THIS WASN’T THE FIRST TIME I’D BEEN IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS.

NOW IT WAS JUST ME AND PETE, THE SMILING JACKASS.he was in the deep freeze and singin’ like a john lennon solo.

talk.

you’re out of your mind, man. she’s at the jacaranda club. alright? alright?

THE JACARANDA CLUB? AND HERE I THOUGHT THINGS WERE DIRTY ENOUGH, NOW IT WAS GOING TO GET A WHOLE LOT DIRTIER. PETE, YOU AIN’T WORTH THE PISS RUNNIN’ DOWN YOUR LEG. YOU BETTER BE TALKIN’ STRAIGHT.

HEY, YASIC, COME ON, I DIDN’T KNOW THESE GUYS WERE CROOKS, REALLY MAN! SHUT UP PETE. I’M GOING DANCING.

CHELSEA, THE DANCER. ELUSIVE, FASCINATED BY EVERYTHING SHE SEES, ANOTHER "FINE YOUNG WOMAN EAGER FOR NEW EXPERIENCES."

OR SO HER MOTHER HAD SAID, BUT THE WORDS HAD SOUNDED HOLLOW SOMEHOW. I COULDN’T QUITE PLACE MY FINGER OUT IT.

WORSE DIVES THAN THIS ONLY EXISTED IN COMIC BOOKS.

CHELSEA WAS GIFTED, THEY SAID SHE SHOWED GREAT PROMISE AS A DANCER. HOW DOES A GIFTED BALLERINA END UP IN THE JACARANDA CLUB? IT’S NOT EXACTLY THE "bolshoI".

IT HAD THAT SMELL, THE SMELL OF YOUNG MONEY, MANIA AND DEATH.

THE DANCER’S MOTHER HAD BEEN A REAL UPPER CLASS DEMON, FILTHY RICH AND COLD AS A FISH.

FIND HER, YASIC.

IT TOOK TWO ASPIRINS AND NUMEROUS VODKAS BEFORE I FIT RIGHT IN.

I WAS MESMERIZED BY THE DANCER, IT HAD TO BE HER. SHE WAS A REAL LOOKER, THERE WAS NO WAY TO MISTAKE HER FOR ANYONE ELSE.

OUR EYES LOCKED FOR ONE DRAMATIC INSTANT. BUT WAS SHE ON TO ME?

I HAD TO KNOW FOR SURE, I HAD TO GET CLOSE. SO I BORROWED A LINE FROM "BLADE RUNNER" AND HOPED SHE WASN’T A SCI-FI ENTHUSIAST. MA’AM? YES? HOW CAN I HELP YOU?

NO WAY.

WAS THIS CHELSEA? HOW COULD I TELL? I’M FROM THE UNION ON MORAL ABUSES. I WANTED TO UH, ASK WHAT A WOMAN WITH YOUR BALLET BACKGROUND IS DOING IN A PLACE LIKE THIS? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I TOOK BALLET? mIND IF I GET CHANGED?

I SHOULD HAVE LEFT AND CALLED HER MOTHER RIGHT THERE. THE WAY THE DANCER MOVED WAS ALLURING, I WASN’T READY TO TAKE MY EYES OFF HER YET. WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUR NAME WAS?

SHE SAID SHE IS NOT ANGRY. SHE JUST WANTS YOU TO GO HOME, SO LET ME TAKE YOU HOME SO I CAN GET PAID AND GO HOME TOO, OKAY?

MY MOTHER SAID THIS? FINE MISTER, WAIT FOR ME OUTSIDE.

WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT HERE? ALRIGHT, YOUR MOTHER SENT ME.

IT WAS GOING TOO SMOOTHLY, SOMETHING WAS UP.

I KNEW SOMETHING WAS GOING ON SO I HEADED TO ANOTHER CAR, IN CASE I NEEDED MINE TO FOLLOW CHELSEA. FOR THE SECOND TIME THAT NIGHT, I WAS READY FOR A SET-UP.

OKAY LET’S GO, WOULDN’T WANT TO MAKE YOU WAIT FOR MOTHER’S MONEY.

SEEMS I WASN’T READY FOR EVERYTHING. YOU’RE JUST A DOG. . .

HEY ASSHOLE. CHELSEA’S MOTHER DIED TEN YEARS AGO. WHAT??

BOW TO YOUR MASTER, DOG!

the dancer likes where she is, you can tell YOUR MAFIA BOSSES that when you report back, you little errand boy bastard. .

enough joe. the cops are coming. let’s go.

MAFIA BOSSES? A FAKE MOTHER? I NEEDED TO KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON. "JOE" UNDERESTIMATED ME, IT WAS EASY TO FOLLOW THEM. DO YOU HAVE HER?

you must have been good to follow her thIs far, but I know your face, dog. I’LL SEE YOU AGAIN, "joe".

THEY LED ME TO AN OLD BUILDING ON THE WEST SIDE. THIS IS YASIC, TELL HER I FOUND HER DAUGHTER.

NO, BUT I SHOULD HAVE AN ADDRESS ANY MINUTE.

THE WHOLE GROUP OF THEM ARRIVED IN NO TIME. EXPENSIVE CARS, ALL OF THEM BLACK.

HER MOTHER MUST HAVE INVITED HER "UNCLES" TOO.

HERE IS YOUR MONEY YASIC. NOW GET LOST.

ONCE I STARTED PAYING ATTENTION, IT WAS OBVIOUS. CHELSEA’S "MOTHER" WAS NO WOMAN, SHE WAS a MAFIA DON TRYING TO LAY LOW. TRYING TO HIDE FROM THE LAW BY PLAYING A RICH WIDOW. IT WAS SICK. CHELSEA MUST HAVE THOUGHT THE SAME THING AND DECIDED TO GET AS FAR AWAY FROM HIM AS POSSIBLE.

MY JOB WAS DONE. I FOUND THE TARGET AND GOT PAID. NOW IT WAS TIME FOR SOME RECREATIONAL ACTIVITY.

HEY, WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU’RE ARE GOING??

OH, I LIVE HERE TOO.

WHY DID THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO BE SO HEAVILY ARMED WHEN YOU TRIED TO DO THE RIGHT THING?

NOT THAT IT MATTERED.

SOMEONE GO CHECK THAT OUT, NOW!

YO, JOEY? YOU THERE?

BY THAT TIME EVERYTHING HAD JUST BECOME NOISE.

WHY ISN’T ANYONE DYING ON THEIR SIDE??

IT’S JUST ME NOW.

YOU?? WELL WELL, A REAL LIFE ACTION HERO.

IT IS ALWAYS HARD TO WATCH SOMETHING LIKE THAT. MAYBE I COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING, MAYBE I COULD HAVE STOPPED HER, HIM, WHATEVER.

YOU THINK YOU’VE WON? YOU THINK I CAN WALK AWAY FROM THIS??

OR MAYBE EVERYONE GOT WHAT THEY DESERVED, IN THE END.

REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE, AND I’M BACK. . .

THE JOB SOUNDED EASY ENOUGH. RESCUE A SENATOR’S DAUGHTER AND KEEP THE RANSOM MONEY. NO PROBLEM.

STONE FUCKIN’ PIMP WITH TRACKS THAT MACK AND SLAP BACK THE WHACK

UGH. .

BUT NO ONE SAID THE KIDNAPPERS WOULD BE GUARDED BY A GUY WITH A VOICE THAT SOUNDED LIKE A BAD EAR INFECTION. SOUL FROM MOTOWN THE UNDERGROUND

NEVER GAY NO WAY, I DON’T PLAY WITH ASS. .

ENOUGH!

I HEARD THE VOICE I WAS LOOKING FOR CRY OUT FROM UPSTAIRS. DADDY’S GOING TO PAY REAL SOON, BUT I’M SURE DADDY ISN’T GOING TO MIND IF WE HAVE A LITTLE FUN FIRST, NO?

I HAD TO MOVE FAST.

NO!!

WE’LL GIVE HER A GOODBYE PRESENT.

NO. . STOP!

PLEASE HELP ME!!!

TOO MANY APARTMENTS, NOT ENOUGH TIME. COME ON LADY, KEEP SHOUTING.

YOU’LL LIKE IT, DON’T WORRY. .

I’M GOING TO CHECK ON RICH DOWNSTAIRS, HE’S BEEN QUIET LATELY.

WHEN I GET BACK, I WANT A PIECE OF HER ALL TO MYSELF, GOT IT?

SONOFABITCH! YOU’RE DEAD!

I GOT YOUR PIECE RIGHT HERE.

AARRK!

AIEEE!!

SENATOR GRANT CONTRACTED ME TO RESCUE HIS ONLY DAUGHTER RITA. IF I DID, I’D GET THE TWENTY GRAND THE SCUMBAGS WERE ASKING FOR HER RETURN. STAY CALM RITA.

I’M YASIC, YOUR FATHER SENT ME. ANYONE ELSE IN HERE?

N..NO. WE’RE ALONE.

I THOUGHT SHE WAS IN SHOCK. . SHE DIDN’T EVEN MOVE.

WE’VE GOT TO GO NOW RITA.

THE MONEY FOR MY RANSOM. GIVE IT TO ME OR I’LL KILL YOU RIGHT NOW.

EXCEPT TO REACH FOR THE GUN LYING on the floor next to her.

WE WEREN’T EXACTLY INVITED OVER FOR COFFEE SO LET’S. . THE MONEY!!!

SHE’D SURPRISED ME ALL RIGHT, BUT I COULD SEE IN HER EYES SHE WOULDN’T DO IT. SOME THANK YOU.

ENOUGH!

I’D DEALT WITH ALL KINDS OF CRAZY SHIT, BUT I WASN’T READY TO DEAL WITH A GIRL ON HER KNEES, CRYING. I WON’T GO BACK WITH YOU, I’D SOONER DIE! GOD! THAT MONEY WAS OUR SALVATION!

i never heard them coming, but when i saw them, i knew i was in for it.

way to go mal old boy. we knew you’d lead us straight to her. now step aside.

listen rita, we’ve got to go.

give us the twenty big ones and the video and we’ll kill you quickly. otherwise. . . don’t have either. sorry.

you work for the senator right? I thought senator grant wanted his daughter back. lower the gun and i’ll give you what you want.

video? What damn video? wait! no more deaths. i’ll give you the video.

very well. glad to see you’re cooperating. let’s start with you showing us the tape, then we’ll go get the money.

MORE SURPRISES. I HATE SURPRISES.

HI HONEY.

SO MUCH FOR MY NEW FRIENDS.

hold me my love!

what happened here rita? who’s this dirtbag?

THEN I GUESS I OWE HIM ONE.

HE SAVED MY LIFE BEN.

things were getting out of control.

i’ve got a car outside, let’s get out of here.

the only thing i knew for sure was that these two were in love.

thank you for your help mal yasic.

SO I TOOK THEM BACK TO MY PLACE, FIGURING WE’D BE A LITTLE SAFER THERE TIL I COULD FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL THE SENATOR WAS UP TO.

IT’S. . DISGUSTING. . FINE, THEN TELL ME ABOUT YOUR FATHER, RITA.

tell me about the tape.

HE’S NOT MY FATHER. HE ADOPTED ME TEN YEARS AGO. THAT’S WHEN IT STARTED. .

ben and rita went to sleep and left me with the video tape. a sick feeling began to well up in my stomach, i had an idea of what to expect.

sex and blackmail. DAMN. in every situation, there was rita, barELy even an adult. and with her, her "father". but that wasn’t ALL.

there were also a dozen other men.

THERE WERE POLITICIANS, JUDGES, EVEN A CARDINAL. ALL KEY PEOPLE IN SENATOR GRANT’S RISE TO POWER.

RITA DECIDED SHE’D HAD ENOUGH. SENATOR GRANT HIRES ME TO FIND HER, OR BETTER YET, FIND HIS VIDEO. THEN HE SENDS HIS GOONS TO KILL US BOTH AND BRING BACK THE TAPE SO THE SENATOR can walk away free and clear. I HATE POLITICIANS.

ABE, RITA’S BOYFRIEND, MUST HAVE CAME UP WITH A PLAN TO BLACKMAIL THE SENATOR, SO HE STAGES A FAKE KIDNAPPING. THE SENATOR SENDS IN HIS MEN TO KILL EVERYONE AND BRING RITA BACK, BUT LUCKILY FOR US ABE SHOWED UP.

I GOT YOUR MESSAGE. WHY DON’T YOU DO THE SMART THING, GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY AND MY DAUGHTER, I’LL FORGET ALL ABOUT THIS AND YOU cAN GO.

WITH RITA AND ABE SAFE AT MY PLACE, IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO PAY SENATOR GRANT A VISIT.

ABOUT TIME BOY.

YOUR "DAUGHTER" IS SAFE FROM YOU NOW. THE MONEY IS GOING TO BUY HER A NEW LIFE,ONE FAR AWAY from YOU. I KNOW THE TRUTH SENATOR, I SAW THE TAPE.

LISTEN HERE YOU. .

NO, YOU LISTEN. IF YOU EVER GO NEAR RITA AGAIN I WILL DESTROY YOU.

THAT WAS TO SHOW YOU HOW SERIOUS I AM. SENATOR. NO ONE WILL STOP ME.

WE’LL SEE, YOU BASTARD!

YOU COULD BE DEAD RIGHT NOW, LIKE THOSE TwO MEN YOU SENT AFTER ME. REMEMBER THAT. NOW TELL YOUR gorillas to get out of my damn way.

see you next election senator. you won’t have my vote.

SIX MONTHS LATER.

HEY, NOBODIES GAWKIN’ AT THE GIRLS ON MY WATCH SO MOVE ALONG MISTER.

NO PROBLEM, CHIEF.