Falling from the Tree

 

 

Table of Contents Voyaging Seeking Home

Voyaging

Copyright © 2005 Ann Somerville http://logophilos.net/

Chapter 1 It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons – Johann Schiller What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life – to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories. – George Eliot Karik was sure the merko had gone into the stable through the hole in the wall – she'd been carrying enough food that she had to be feeding young, so maybe this time he'd be lucky. He stood still and listened hard. In his imagination, he traced the path a small mammal might take to avoid detection, one that could run up timbers and along rafters with ease on agile, clawed feet. There.... There was a store box his Pa kept old harnesses and worn-out saddles in. Karik crouched down, then he went very still again. Yes...there it was – the shrill piping of young merkos, shrieking for insects and grubs. "What are you doing, Ka-chi?" He fell back, startled, as he heard a girlish laugh. He sighed as he got to his feet and dusted off his pants. No chance now of getting himself a nest of baby merkos, and by the time he came back, the mother would have moved them again. "Nuh-nothing, Meran." But his visitor crouched down to look where he had been. "What's that noise?" "Baby mer-merkos. There's a nest b-behind there." "Yuck, why are you looking for them?" She looked at him in puzzlement, a look he was used to. None of the children in the village seemed to be interested in the smaller wildlife except as food, however much he tried to tell them that animals like merkos were useful because they killed the pests that ate the crops. They would look at him much as Meran was now, and then they'd laugh. He was used to that too. Knowing the nest would be abandoned now, he decided to pull the store box away and have a look, but as soon as he moved it, there was a flurry of furry action. Meran screamed in terror. "Get it off me! Get them away, Karik, they bite!"

She was swiping at her clothes and shaking her braid as if there were hundreds of merkos all over her, instead of a single fierce-looking individual who had fallen off her leg almost as soon as it had run up it, before dashing for cover. He shoved the box back and then grabbed her hands. "It's all ri-right. Gone." For a healer's daughter, Meran could be pretty squeamish, he'd always thought. She went still. "Are you sure?" He nodded. "Oh good. Hate them, they're so ugly, with those noses, they look like they've got something wrong with them." "The-they ju-just...." He stopped, frustrated at his stupid stutter which was making a simple explanation so hard. He took a deep breath. "They eat in...sects. The...the nose fi-fi...." "Finds insects?" He nodded curtly, annoyed at her finishing his words – he hated people doing that to him – then stood and pulled her up. She sat on the store box, idly dusting off her trousers, and then she patted the place next to him to indicate he should sit down. "You're strange, Karik. But you're cute too." He stared at her. She was smiling at him in a way which he didn't much care for. "Cu-cute?" "Yes. Pretty." She reached behind him and pulled his braid out. "It's so pale, like a cloud." He was astonished at her boldness, but she seemed not to notice. "But it's not soft...it should be soft with that colour." He pulled the tail of the braid out of her hand, wondering why she was suddenly so fascinated by his hair. It wasn't like she hadn't seen it before. "You're really different. You've even got hairs here...." She touched his face where the slightest wispy moustache was starting to show, much to his intense displeasure. His Pa didn't have hair there. None of the men in the village did. Karik turned his face away from her hand, wishing she would back off. "Meran, wuh-what do you want?" As if he couldn't guess. He'd seen young girls flirting with some of the other boys in the village – he'd just never thought to be the target of it himself. "Don't get annoyed, Karik. I'm just talking," she said, sounding hurt. "I did my chores, and Ma's visiting Meis so I thought I'd come find you." "Oh." She seemed really offended. "S-sorry."

"It's all right. I should have known you'd be down in the dirt, looking at bugs or something." "N-not bugs." She laughed a little. "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to be rude about your pets. You're really strange sometimes." She touched his face again. "But you're really handsome too." He could feel his face burning, and knew his cheeks would be bright red in a way that those of no other person in the village could turn. Sometimes he wished he could paint his skin brown so he didn't show every passing emotion on his stupid face. "M-Meran...." He was wondering how he could get away from her without hurting her feelings. She was leaning towards him, as if she was trying to get a closer look at him, but her eyes were half closed. "Mer...." His protest was cut off, not by his stammer this time, but by her lips touching his. He stumbled backward and fell off the box. "Meran, don't!" But she just followed him down, and suddenly he had a lap full of girl. "What's wrong, Ka-chi? There's nothing wrong with kissing." Actually, he was pretty sure kissing was on the list of things he really shouldn't be doing – and neither should she. He shoved her and she fell back onto her rump. "Karik!" "Meran? Karik?" Meran froze, and when Karik's Pa came around the edge of the stall, Karik knew how it must look to him. "What's going on?" "Nothing," she said too quickly, scrambling up and looking as guilty as hells. Pa frowned at her. "Myka was looking for you, Meran. Why don't you run along and see what she wanted?" She nodded quickly and almost ran out of the stables, leaving Karik still lying on the ground. He really didn't know how he was going to explain this. His father held out his hand to help Karik up, and he took it, but he didn't look at his Pa as he dusted himself off. "Sit down, son." Karik sat on the box again. "I

assume there's a perfectly innocent explanation for what I just saw?" his father asked as he sat down next to Karik. Karik nodded. "Wuh-wuh...." He stopped, clenching his fist in frustration. Stupid stutter. His Pa put a hand on his shoulder and waited patiently for him to get his mouth under control. "We...were...looking at merkos." "Merkos? In here?" "Y-yes. Nest. B-behind here." He pointed down at the bottom of the box. "Gone now." "Right. And Meran....?" "Wuh-was being s-silly," Karik said firmly. "She just s-startled me." He didn't want to get her into trouble. "I bet she did," his Pa said heavily. "I might have a word with that young lady's parents later on, she's getting a bit forward for fourteen." Privately, Karik agreed with him. His father gave him a rueful smile. "I know I can trust you not to hurt her, but she's just not old enough to know what she might be getting into. I'll have a word with her too, if you like." Karik nodded, appreciating the offer. His Pa wouldn't stammer and blush as he said what needed to be said, and it would be good not to have to hurt Meran's feelings. He was very fond of her, seeing her almost like the sister he'd never had, but it seemed that he really needed to avoid being trapped alone with her for a while until she got this out of her system. At least most of the other girls preferred boys who looked more like they did. Maybe Meran had done it on a dare. It wouldn't be the first time he'd been used that way. "So why were you hunting merkos again?" "I wuh-wanted to catch a whole fuh-family this time." His father chuckled. "You remind me of Kei, you really do. Karik, your mother will have a fit if you keep a whole family of those damn things in the house. You know what she said when the last one got loose." "I ju-just wuh-want to study them." "Hmmm, that's what you always say. Maybe we can try and trap them together. It's always easier with two, you know that."

"Yes, Pa." His father's eyes crinkled up as he smiled. "Good. Now I've got you though, I can ask – how do you like the idea of a trip to Darshek with Risa and me next week?" Karik stared at him in astonishment. "Me? Really?" He'd been taken to Darshek a couple of time when he'd been much smaller, when his Ma had gone with Pa on one of his trips, but of course, he could remember nothing of it at all. Now he was older, it was his job to look after the remaining beasts while Pa was away. Who would do that if he went? "Why not? You know Misek and Pia are bringing up a load of seeds and dried plants from the herbarium for me to take to Darshek and Gyo is coming with them. I thought you two might like the chance to see the city – Misek has already said Gyo can go. We could do with the help, with the winter bean harvest coming in – it's a good crop this year and it all needs to go up. I could ask Lori or one of the other men to come, but I'd like your company just this once. " Karik flushed with pleasure. "I'd ll-like that too, Pa." Pa slapped his thigh. "Then it's a deal. We can visit Kei and Arman in their house for a change, and you can see how a big important healer lives, eh?" Karik grinned. His Pa was always teasing uncle Kei about being so high up in the academy now, although Karik wasn't actually sure what he or Arman did. The only time that he'd dared asked Arman, he'd given him an odd smile and said he was just a servant. Which made no sense when Meis had explained what a servant was. Karik couldn't really see Arman cooking or washing dishes, or cleaning a house. That surely had to have been a joke. Pa wanted him to help with a sick beast that needed catching up so they walked out together to the fenced pens where Pa kept his pack animals. As they climbed through the fence, the sick beast was easy to spot, as he was a little way off from the herd. His father had already tried to catch him on his own but the damn thing was proving uncooperative, he'd said. "Drive him that way, Karik," he said, already walking towards the animal. "Damn, he looks worse. Still spooked too." Karik nodded, and wondered what Pa would do if this one wasn't going to be fit to travel – it was one of the bigger beasts, one they would need to take the heavy bean harvest to Darshek. Pa usually took eight or so animals, some times as many as sixteen, either tied to the wagons or pulling them in a train. He didn't used to take such big loads, but once Risa had come to work with him, he could

manage them. Sometimes he talked about Karik working with him too. Karik wasn't sure he wanted to do that. The beast they were going to catch up was roaring and being unusually skittish. Pa already had the rope in hand he was going to use to throw over the animal's neck. It was Karik's job to distract it. The other beasts were in the far corner watching them approach their herd mate, but not reacting. It would be different if Karik and his father lost control and the sick beast dashed towards the herd. They had to stop that happening. "Now, son," Pa said in a calm voice, as if he wasn't talking about the urs beast at all. Karik moved away and when his father nodded, he suddenly flung up his arms. The beast looked his way and started, but Pa had the rope over its neck in an instant. "Get the harness, Karik." Karik made a grab for the harness on the animal's head, wishing he had his Pa's height as the beast reared up and forced him to jump for the straps. He got a hold of them, but then they were wrenched away as the animal jerked and tore the rope out of his father's hand, then tried to bite him. Pa grabbed the rope again and got hold of the harness, but the beast lashed out with its foreleg, catching Pa on the knee, making him crumple in pain. Then the animal delivered a final insult by kicking his father in the side as it bolted away, leaving him groaning in the dust. It had all happened so fast, Karik was already trying to chase the animal away as it ran off of its own accord. "Pa!" He dropped to his knees – his father was white-faced and in obvious agony. He didn't know what to do first – if he left Pa like this, the beast might come back and trample him, it was in such a strange mood. He looked around – he could see no one nearby at all. "Help! Someone! Pa's hurt!" He looked down at his father. "Pa, can you walk?" "No," Pa whispered through gritted teeth. "Get...Jena...." "But the beasts...." "Get...her...." That decided him. His Pa knew beasts better than anyone and if he thought it was safe to leave him, then it was. "I'll be quick." He never ran so fast in his life, yelling for help – later he would think it was odd how his stutter disappeared completely for those few desperate minutes – and to

his relief, he saw Risa coming out of the stables. "Pa's hurt, in the herding pen. Go help, I'll get Ma." Risa wasted no time, dashing past Karik towards the pen. Karik could then look for his Ma, who was probably still in their house, he thought. His mother was in the garden, picking herbs. "Ma! Pa's hurt – kicked by a beast!" She dropped her basket and got up immediately, her face stricken. "How bad, Karik?" "Knee, side. Not head." "Oh gods. Right, find Banji and Peit, tell them to bring a litter. Go quickly, son." She ran into the house, while Karik continued through the village, looking for his father's friends, both big, strong men who could lift another with ease. Peit was at his house, fletching arrows, but told Karik that Banji was at the mine, too far to come quickly. "Lori was up on Fedor's roof a few minutes ago, see if he can come. I'll go to Jena." Karik ran to the clan head's house, and saw Myka and Meran walking up the street. "Karik, what's wrong?" Myka asked. "Pu-Pa – hurt. Pens. Need Lori." "Gods, Jena's gone to him? Meran, go get my kit. Karik, get Lori. Go, Ka-chi!" And so Karik ran, hoping all the help he was sending to his Pa would do some good. He could see Lori up on the roof, a tile in hand. "Lori! Pa's hurt. I need you!" Lori threw an arm up in acknowledgement, and disappeared briefly, before coming out from beside the house. "Where?" "Pe-pens. Beast k-kicked him." "Pissing hells. Come on, lad. Did anyone get a litter?" Karik had forgotten to tell Peit to fetch one. "No." "That's all right, we've got one in the house. Give me a minute." He was already untying his workman's apron as he went inside.

Karik could only wait anxiously, wondering how bad his Pa's injury was. Urs beasts could kill a man, or a carcho who tried to prey on a herd, but the domestic ones were much less inclined to lash out unless they were injured or frightened. Pa had had his share of bruises and bites, but never anything serious. To see his big strong father helpless on the ground like that – it made Karik sick to his stomach with fear. "Come on, lad, let's find him. Don't look so worried, Reji's tough as tanned jombeker hide." Karik couldn't find it in him to answer Lori's reassuring smile, but he ran after the man down the street and out to the pen where he could see people clustered around his father. Risa seemed to be keeping the beasts back – Karik couldn't see the injured one, but rather hoped it had just dropped dead, the bad-tempered creature. He came to where Ma and Myka were both tending to his father. Pa was conscious, but also in a lot of pain judging by how he was grimacing and biting his lip. Karik's Ma looked up. "Oh, good, you've got the litter. Lori, Peit, let's get him to the house." Karik stood aside and let the older, taller men handle things in their own quietly efficient way. His mother didn't look too anxious, but he went to her side as she started to follow the litter. "Ma?" She turned and gave him a reassuring smile. "Oh, Karik. He'll be all right. He's just got a couple of dreadful bruises and he might have cracked a rib. Don't look so worried, dear." The endearment cheered him up a little and he was able to walk calmly behind the litter back to the house. He supposed he really ought to stay and help Risa with the beasts, but he needed to reassure himself that his father would be all right. Pa was carried into the front room and laid on the long chair. Ma and Myka held a low-voiced conference at the door, and then Myka called her daughter to her side. "He'll be fine, Karik. Jena doesn't need us, but she'll need you, so stay and help her, all right?" He nodded and Myka smiled before she led Meran out. Meran had been avoiding his eyes but Karik had more important things than her feelings to worry about just now. Peit and Lori were standing out of Ma's way, watching as she probed his Pa's side. Pa was gritting his teeth, but she soothed him gently as she worked. It didn't

look as if Pa was dying. Karik came to them and knelt at his mother's side. "Do you n-need help?" "In a moment, Ka-chi," she said somewhat distractedly. "Peit, Lori, thanks for your assistance – maybe one of you can see if Risa needs a hand." "We need to...catch that beast," Pa got out in wheezed gasps. "Oh hush, Reji, let Risa sort that out," Ma scolded. "Leave it to us," Peit said in his calm, deep voice. "Come on, Lori, let's see what mess Risa's made of things." Pa made a face at the insult to his partner and then sighed as the door closed. He reached for Karik's hand. "Thanks...son." "I'm sorry, P-pa. I sh-should have kept huh-hold of the beast b-better." His Pa shook his head and winced as Ma probed his ribs. "Not your fault. Just an accident." He still felt guilty, but then his mother turned her head to look at him. "That one's been funny for a day or so. We might have to cut its throat, can't have an animal like that in the herd, right, Reji?" "No, love. Risa'll...." He winced again as he moved slightly. "Damn it." "Well, lie still, you idiot. Yes, you've cracked two ribs, I'd be sure of that and you're going to have a lovely bruise. Karik, would you get me the new pot of chuo sap ointment – I just made a batch this morning and it's in the workroom." Karik nodded and went to his mother's workroom at the back of the house. It stank of tirsel leaf – she had clearly been making up stocks of ointments and creams, which was probably why she'd been in the garden collecting herbs when he'd found her. He collected the large pot clearly marked in her neat hand and brought it back to the front room. Ma asked him to help take his father's trousers off. When the damage to the knee was revealed, she tsked. "You're going to have trouble walking for a few days, Reji." "Got work... to do."

"Not in this condition you haven't. Karik, you'll have to help Risa for your Pa. Lori will give you a hand and then Gyo will be here in a couple of days." "Yes, Ma." "Good lad. Now lie still, Reji, or this cream will end up somewhere you don't want it." Pa pulled a comically horrified face, and Karik grinned. His Ma made Pa comfortable and treated his injuries with the ease of long experience, her calm demeanour doing much to reassure Karik. It was obvious that Pa wouldn't make the stairs for a day or two, so she and Karik made up a bed for him on the long chair. Although he grumbled about the things he needed to do, he was still in enough pain for that grumbling to only be token, and once Ma gave him some pijn, he dropped off to sleep. Ma took Karik out to the workroom while she tidied up her kit. "You still look worried, Ka-chi," she said, chucking him under the chin. He caught her hand again. It was so much easier using her gift to talk to her. It just happened so fast. I know, dear. You did the right thing, though. He flushed again. Pa asked me to help with the next caravan, me and Gyo. Do you think he still wants me to go? She frowned a little. I think he probably does more than ever now. Risa can't manage on his own. He might ask if Lori can go with you, although it's short notice. He nodded. I want to help, Ma. Of course you do, Ka-chi. She pulled him to her and kissed his forehead. I can manage with him now. Why don't you go and talk to Risa about helping with the transport? I think he'd appreciate that. Yes, Ma. I'll come back in an hour or so. Thank you, Karik. Now go on, your Pa is depending on you.

Arman shook the raindrops off his cloak and cursed the weather soundly as he shivered in his wet clothes. "Not on the wooden floor, Arman," his housekeeper scolded him, coming up to take the cloak from him. "And take those boots off right now." "Sorry, Pira, I just wanted to get dry. I'm soaked." She put her hands on her hips to give him a proper glare. "Well, why didn't you put your cloak on?" He grinned at her. "I got caught by the docks and left my cloak in the carriage. I'm sorry," he said, hanging his head in mock shame. "Useless man," she grumbled. "Here, give me that shirt and go find a dry one. Anyone would think you'd never seen rain before." "I wasn't expecting it and I hadn't realised how dark it had got." "Oh, that's just silly. Go and find Kei, he'll tell you you're silly too." "Yes, Pira," he said meekly, handing over his wet clothes. He would need to change his trousers, but he wasn't going to do that in the hall. "Is he in the library?" "Where else? Go on, I'll tell you when supper's ready." "I'm starving, I hope it won't be long." "It'll be ready when it's ready, Arman, don't be greedy." "Yes, Pira." She could have let him have some bread, he thought disconsolately, but Pira didn't like him making raids on her kitchen, and Arman had long ago given up trying. It was a small price to pay for a quiet, comfortable household. It used to irk Arman that they needed a housekeeper, but he knew it was simply practical – they had too many claims on their attention and time to spend it on routine chores. And Pira needed the position and the accommodation, so it all worked well. As he walked into the library, Kei held up a hand without turning around, still scribbling furiously, so Arman waited patiently for his lover to finish recording the thought he had in his head. Finally Kei stopped, and turned to him with a big

smile already on his face. "Sorry about...well, look at you," he said, one eyebrow raised. "A firm admirer of your beautiful body though I am, Arman, I have to say I'm a little surprised at this display," he added. "Pleased, but definitely surprised." Arman grinned and came over to him. "Warm me up, I'm frozen." Kei put his hand back up again with a look of horror on his face. "Not on your life – gods, Arman, did you jump in the sea?" He stood but kept a wary distance from Arman's cold, damp flesh. "More or less. Got caught in that downpour." "Oh, did it rain?" he said vaguely. "Come on, you look cold. Go and dry off and I'll bring your robe." Kei allowed him to steal a quick kiss before shooing him to the washroom. Arman had to admit the low heat from the stove was welcome – winters in Darshek were mild but on a wet evening, they could be chilly and he was thoroughly soaked. Later he would have a bath, but he liked to do that just before they went to bed and it was too early for that now. Kei joined him and took on the task of mopping the water from his thick plait – it would take forever to dry and Kei suggested he just unbraid it and tie the whole thing up in a towel, piling it all on top of his head like he did when he bathed. Finally he was warm and dry, and his fastidious lover would let him hold him close. "You're home early," Kei murmured. "Well, I got wet," Arman said simply and Kei laughed. "Kevi was less voluble than normal and I finished the inspections sooner than I expected." "The new gantry's done?" "Nearly. A week, I think." "Good. Come and get something hot to drink, I'm sure Pira will make us some tea." Of course, Arman thought. She'd make tea for Kei. She'd probably dance naked through the streets if Kei asked. But then a lot of people would.

Pira only smiled as Kei led Arman into the kitchen. "Some tea for the poor old frozen man, Pira?" "Less of the 'old', you brat," Arman grumbled. Pira only shook her head in amusement. She was a good deal older than either of them and doubtless thought they were both brats. She had water already boiling – which made Arman think she'd been planning to take pity on him anyway – and tea was soon set in front of him, along with two sweet cakes. "One for you, one for him," she said sternly. "Don't spoil your supper." "Yes, Ma," Kei said, snatching up the cake so eagerly, he looked more like six than thirty-six. "Your cakes are too good, Pira. I can't stop eating them if you put them out." "Huh, it's more that your stomach is a bottomless pit. Don't steal Arman's or I'll slap your hand." Arman looked at his lover sternly. "Glad to see someone can keep you under control." Kei just laid his head on Arman's shoulder. "But you love me anyway." "Sadly true." He poured out some tea and then sipped it, glad of the warmth both from the drink and Kei's body so close to his. "So what were you working on?" he asked as he slipped an arm around Kei's waist. "Oh, Jezinke wanted to talk to me about the results of the oivi mould tests and I wanted to get the notes down while they were fresh in my mind." "Promising?" "Yes, they are, but the side effects are still a problem. He's going to try some other leaf moulds from the oivi trees, and see which ones he can make into pellets without losing effectiveness." Arman nodded. There had been some great advances in medicine under Kei's directorship of the medical section at the academy, and the sister institution in Urshek had contributed a good deal to the anti-infection drugs that were Kei's main research interest, along with decent pain killers that were less disabling than the ubiquitous pijn. It had actually been a Prijian healer who had discovered that the leaves of the yusus plant were an efficient, minor pain reliever, although he'd had to come to Darshek before he had done so. "Oh, there's letters from Mari and your brother. And I had a chat

with Jena. Reji's managed to get himself hurt by being kicked by a beast, can you imagine?" "How on earth did he do that? I thought he was infallible when it came to those things." Arman sipped more tea and assessed Kei's demeanour. Reji couldn't have been too badly injured if he was this calm. "Jena isn't sure – he was with Karik at the time. The beast was behaving very oddly and just lashed out. He's got a badly sprained knee and cracked ribs. Feeling sorry for himself, she said. Anyway, it means he's not coming up this time. Risa's going to bring Karik and Gyo to help, and see if he can persuade someone like Lori to come too." "Karik?" Arman frowned. "Isn't he a little young still? He's no giant, either. Gyo, I can see, the boy's tall. Karik's not." "He's nearly sixteen – sixteen next month, in fact. As for tall...well, he's got a deft hand with animals, Reji says, and that's the main thing. They don't seem to mind his looks or his stutter, poor lad." Kei looked briefly sad. " Jena and Reji think it will be good for him to see other Prij and the world outside the village." "He's not a Prij," Arman pointed out curtly. "You know what I mean, don't get all prickly," Kei said in a soothing voice. "It's a shame Vikis and Kesa moved up here. Karik's got no one to compare himself with. Except you, of course, and you're not his age." Arman grunted. The subject of Karik always aroused rather confused emotions inside him. Unlike his real parents, Karik was modest and scholarly, which was one of the reasons Kei liked him so much. Arman certainly didn't dislike him, and the boy seemed to have a good heart, but being in his company made him uncomfortable. Karik's stutter – caused, Kei thought, by a severe lack of selfconfidence – made talking to him a chore, and although Arman tried his best to ignore the defect, it was just another reason to avoid him. "Are they to stay here?" "Jena would appreciate it. Would you mind?" Pira sat down at the table and poured herself some of the tea. "It'd be nice to have some youngsters around here, I say." "What, younger than me? I thought I was your adopted child, Pira. I'm wounded," Kei said, and laughed at her disgusted expression.

"You already have too many people mothering you," Arman said, tugging Kei's braid. "No, of course I don't mind, and I imagine Jena and Reji would feel happier about that." "Yes, they would," Kei said, smiling at him in gratitude. "They won't be here for nearly a month. They're bringing the beans – it'll be slow going no matter what wagons they use." "Fine, then we have a month to arrange things for them," he said, batting Kei's hand as it reached for Arman's cake. "Don't, you tuktuk." "That's an insult to tuktuks," Pira said, sipping her tea. "Now hurry up and clear off. Dinner will be half an hour and I don't want you in my way." "Yes, Ma," Kei said cheekily, but he leaned over and kissed her forehead. "You better eat some sweet cakes too, you're so grumpy." He ducked away from her attempts to tug his braid, but forgot Arman had an easier reach. "Ow!' "Stop teasing her, and come give me my letters," Arman said sternly, but inside, he was smiling. Kei had hardly changed in sixteen years and Arman still adored every teasing, annoying inch of him.

"So what does your brother say?" Kei asked as they lazed in the bath after supper and two more hours of paperwork. The hot water was driving the last chill from Arman's bones and he felt nicely languid and relaxed. Kei's lovely body sitting in his preferred spot on Arman's lap helped, of course. Arman had meant to pass on the contents of the letters earlier, but they had got onto the subject of the new teachers from Kuprij and Andon who were coming to the academy and whether Lord Meki was finally going to retire this year or not, and he'd forgotten to mention it. "He confirmed the reports we've had – Kita's getting more erratic, apparently, and more extravagant too. Prijus encourages her, of course – no sense in that damn family at all, it seems. The senate are actually starting to voice criticisms aloud – it's even more strident in private, he says – and there have been riots in the market place over the increased taxes. It got pretty ugly, he says. He's talking about moving out of Utuk again – he's worried about the children's safety." "Can he do that and still be a senator?"

"He can if he doesn't care about having an active political role, and there are certainly things he can do in Garok. My father won't be happy with him, but reading between the lines of what Mari said, I think they might like to leave too." Kei settled himself in a slightly better position on Arman's lap. "They could come up here." "Oh, and that would cause a stir, don't you think, an active senator suddenly decamping to Darshian? Besides, Tijus wants the children raised in Kuprij. You can't blame him for that." "No. But your father and Mari could come up here to live. No one would care about that, surely." "Probably not, although Tijus would have to listen to the gossip. But Father won't leave his grandchildren, and you can't blame him for that either." Not when his daughter-in-law had finally fallen pregnant after ten barren years, and then produced two children in quick succession. Arman had been pleased too – Tijus had wanted children very badly, and he and his wife deserved their fortune. "But Mari says they might visit again at the end of this year. Father's arthritis hasn't been too painful lately and the winter might be kinder to him here than on Kuplik." "I'd like to have them here again. Mari is such a nice person. Your father is too, of course," Kei hastily amended. "I doubt even Mari thinks he's 'nice', Kei," Arman said with some amusement at his stern, gruff father being equated with the sweet and gentle Mari. Still, there was no doubt his father had mellowed considerably in his old age, now he had found a measure of contentment in his life. "But it would be good to see him again. I doubt he'll make many more journeys north." "No," Kei agreed sadly. Visiting Utuk wasn't an option either of them had ever suggested. Many of the people who had witnessed his treachery were still in post, including several senior (albeit now very elderly) senators, Lord Blikus and, of course, the sovereign herself, who had never forgiven Arman and made a point of mentioning the fact to his brother as often as possible. Tijus often reported her jibes with his usual benign humour in his letters to Arman, but Arman knew it had made his position difficult.

Kei interrupted his musings by kissing him on the cheek. "Don't be sad, Arman. You'll see him again, I know that. He's still easily able to come. He enjoys sailing – it's not as hard as it might be for someone his age." "Maybe. It's all right, Kei. You don't need to worry about me. I've got you and that's all I really want." "Family's important too, Arman, especially when you spent so long thinking you didn't really have one." Arman stared into Kei's loving, worried eyes. "You're all the family I need, and I mean that. Now, stop talking about them. I want to know what terribly naughty things you plan to do to me tonight." Kei grinned. "Perhaps I was just planning to go to sleep. I've been teaching most of the day and I'm very tired." "That would be very naughty indeed, considering what your bottom is doing to my cock." "My bottom? My bottom is merely sitting where it always sits, Arman." "Yes, and it always makes my cock want to do things to it, as you perfectly well know, especially when you wriggle like that. If you really are tired, then stop that right now." Kei pouted and took Arman's earlobe between his teeth, tugging on it gently. "Funny," he breathed. "I don't feel so tired anymore." "So you are planning naughty things? I was hoping you were." "Maybe I want to know what naughty things you're planning." "Me? I'm too old to be naughty, remember?" "Ah yes. But not too old to have things done to you. When will you be too old for that, do you think? I want to line up my next lover in good time." Arman clasped Kei firmly to him, and kissed him with authority. "I'll never, ever be too old to have naughty things done to me so long as you're doing them." Then he pinched the backside that was causing him such delicious torment. "But I suspect you'd find a way to arouse a corpse, so age doesn't come into it."

"Oh, yuck, Arman," Kei said, pulling away from him. "Now I think you think I'm perverted." "No, I just think you're incredibly tempting, especially when you put that pout on." Arman kissed his soft, and, indeed, pouting lips again. "So we've established that I have no naughtiness planned, and that you, despite claiming to be tired, are always planning something. What are you going to do to me tonight?" Kei's eyes took on a glint which was even more stimulating to Arman's cock than the feel of his bottom. "Come to bed and I'll show you." Arman grinned. Kei being too tired for sex – that would be the day, truly.

Chapter 2 Even when his father was in good health, the bean harvest was always a busy time for Karik and the other able-bodied men and women in the village. Fortunately, the older men like Fedor and Rin who had lived through dozens of bean harvests, had helped Risa get it all under control. Karik worked alongside him, glad to be busy – it made it easy to avoid Meran, and when she came to the stables to look for him, he was able to excuse himself to go and help Risa. He wasn't sure if she wanted him to apologise, or to apologise to him – he just didn't want to be caught alone with her again. Having watched other boys of his age begin the mating dance, and seeing how stupidly they behaved just to impress their girlfriends, he'd decided already that he had better things to do. Meran gave up on him eventually, to his great relief – like him, she was really too busy for this nonsense if she wanted to help her Ma. He had other things on his mind anyway, waiting for his friend to arrive from Ai-Tuek. Every time he saw small dust clouds rising in the distance, he hoped it would be Gyo and his parents, but it was three days before they finally arrived late in the afternoon, leaving themselves very little daylight in which to unload their cart. Karik noted ruefully that Gyo seemed to have grown even taller in the three months since he'd seen him last. Gyo waved at him enthusiastically, as Risa came up to greet his brother. There were smiles and hugs all around, and then more as Misek's parents and other family turned up to meet them. Misek's wife, Pia, a quiet woman, sat in the cart with their nine-year old daughter, Keira, and waited until most of the boisterousness was over. Keira smiled shyly at Karik, who smiled back. He liked Keira. She never teased him. "Where's Reji?" Misek asked his brother. "In his house, all banged up." "What in hells?" Gyo only waited to hear Risa's explanation before grabbing Karik's arm and dragging him away from the busily chatting group. "Come on, they've got enough people to help." Karik wasn't sure – he really ought to stay and unload Misek's wagon for him. "It's all right, Ka-chi. I want to see the fire-beetles."

Karik grinned at Gyo's enthusiasm. His friend loved all beetles, especially firebeetles, which were less common around the herbarium for some reason. Gyo just liked to catch them and watch their tiny lights in his hands before letting them go – he was never cruel or destructive towards them. The winter air was getting frosty as the night drew in. The fire-beetles were one of the few insects to be active all year around, and their tiny shrill buzz was loud in the cold stillness over the waterhole, seeking mates, flashing their red-lit tails as they flew. "What happened to the beast that kicked Reji?" "P-Peit shot it – Risa wuh-was still trying to catch it up but Fedor said the thing wuh-was just too c-crazy to help. When Peit wuh...was butchering it, I asked him to crack the s-skull open – there was a lump like this in his b-brain." Karik held up his curled fingers to indicated the inch-wide mass they'd found. Gyo stopped walked and turned to him. "Really? What was it?" "There was a wuh-worm inside it. Ma thinks i-it built the gall and that was wuhwhat made the beast crazy. I've k-kept it if you w-want to see it. I was going to show uh-uncle Kei." "I'd like to see it. Reji was lucky if the beast was that crazed. I've never heard of that before." Karik nodded. "M-me neither." Gyo was distracted then, suddenly darting forward. "Got it!" Karik crowded close to see the tiny insect. "He's a big one." "Muh-maybe she." "No, it has to be a boy – I can see his balls." Karik laughed and the beetle, as if offended at the joke, flew away. "P-Pa wuhwants me to g-go to Darshek. " "I know, my Pa told me when he asked me – that's great, Ka-chi. Are you excited?" "A l-little." "It'll be fun. It's better than weeding," he said, pulling a face. "But if Reji's not going, three of us aren't enough, are we?"

"N-no. L-Lori might c-come." Gyo suddenly snatched another beetle from the air – he was so fast at that, Karik thought enviously. But he was good at all kinds of physical things – tall, strong and graceful. If Gyo hadn't been so sweet-tempered, just like his father, Karik might have had to dislike him out of pure jealousy. But it was impossible to think of anyone disliking Gyo. They came to the edge of the water hole, where the fire-beetles were really putting on a show. They mated in mid-air, and despite what Gyo had said, it was almost impossible to tell the sexes apart at this time – only when the female was laying eggs could one be sure. Now was the best time of year to see them. Gyo sat down on a log to watch, seemingly entranced. Karik, more used to the sight, was more concerned by the fact the daylight was going, and after just a few minutes, he nudged Gyo. "Wuh-we better go." "Yes," Gyo said with a sigh, climbing to his feet. "Pa says we'll stay with Kei and Arman. Do you think you're going to ask him about...you know?" Karik had already given this a lot of thought. "No." "Oh, come on, Ka-chi! You're nearly sixteen – you need to know." That might be so, but it didn't mean it was easy to ask the question. All he knew was that Arman had given Karik to his Ma when he was a tiny baby, and his Ma had loved him and looked after him ever since with his Pa. Neither of them knew who his parents were, they'd said, and told him it didn't matter because he was loved, and beautiful, and theirs. And when Karik had asked Kei, he'd said more or less the same thing. Karik had never had the courage to ask Arman. There was something rather forbidding about the man, something that said personal matters were off-limits. He couldn't help knowing the gossip, hearing the tail ends of speculation by adults who stopped speaking when he came near, forgetting their own children would gleefully pass it on as a way of teasing a stuttering boy who looked so different from them. Some people thought he was Arman's own son. Some said he was the Prijian sovereign's boy that Arman had stolen to get revenge on her. One or two said he must be the child of a mistress, although Karik didn't know exactly what a mistress was. He didn't look like Arman, he knew that. Karik was short and slight, certainly nothing like his tall father who could lift and toss bales of hay like children threw leather balls in the fields for fun. And Arman had the bluest of blue eyes, almost

like the sky they were so blue, while Karik had eyes that were green as new leaves. Gyo had green eyes too, because they said his father was a Prij too. But they weren't as green as Karik's, and Gyo's hair and skin were as dark as any one else in the village. "You don't kn-know who your fuh-father is, ei-either." Gyo looked away shiftily, and then started to walk along again. "Gyo?" "Ma told me," he said in a rush. "And?" His friend seemed intensely unhappy at what he was about to say. "He...he was some senator, in Kuprij. She was...well, you know your Ma and my Ma were in Utuk?" Karik nodded. It wasn't something his Ma talked about a lot, but it was during the war that she'd met his Pa, and Kei had met Arman. "Anyway, she was...his servant...and...he raped her." "R-rape?" He didn't know the word. Gyo looked down at his feet. "Forced her...you know...to sleep with him." "Oh." Karik was horrified. "I'm s-sorry." "I wanted to kill him," Gyo said with more anger in his voice than Karik had ever heard before. "To do that to my Ma.... I hate him. Ma says he's dead now. But I wanted to kill him." Karik thought about telling Gyo such thoughts were wrong, but then if it turned out someone had attacked Karik's Ma, he could bet Pa would want to kill them and Karik would too, probably. "Better to h-have Misek. Go-good man." "Pa's the best," Gyo said fiercely. "I know people think he looks funny, but I love him and he loves Ma and me. " Now the big secret was out, Gyo had lost all his cheerfulness, his shoulders slumped and his expression blank. Karik slipped his arm through that of his friend's. "Our fa-fathers are better than any P-Prij. Ah-Arman says so." Gyo made an effort to smile. "He would know. Anyway, you should ask him." "M-maybe."

They had reached the edge of the village proper, and Karik could see that Misek's wagon had already been dealt with and taken to the stables. "Oh there you are!" Risa came out of the stores shed, looking annoyed. "Where in hells did you go, Karik? I need you now, you know that." Karik flushed and opened his mouth to try and make an apology, but Gyo beat him to it. "My fault, uncle Risa – I asked him to come with me. I haven't seen him for months." Risa pursed his lips. "That's all very well, Gyo, but there's work to be done. You're not going to wander off like this on the trip, are you?" "No, uncle Risa. I'm sorry." "Hmmm. Well, at least you'll have your Pa to keep you in line." "Huh?" Risa gave him one of his brief, close-mouthed smiles. "Mis has decided he's going to take Reji's place. He's worked with him before, it's a good arrangement." In an instant, Gyo's good mood was restored. "Great! Where is he?" "At Ma's. Go wash up, Gyo, your grandma will have supper out soon. Karik, you better head home too." "Yes, Ri-isa." Gyo touched Karik's shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow, early, Ka-chi. Oh, this is going to be fun!" he yelled over his shoulder as he sped off. Risa shook his head at his nephew's exuberance. "Off you go, Karik. Let Reji know, will you? I'll speak to him tomorrow but I know he won't have a problem with it." Karik nodded and walked further on down the street to his parents' house. Gyo was lucky. Karik wasn't really looking forward to the journey as much as he would have done if Pa had been going – Risa was nice, but it wasn't the same. His Ma was cooking and his father was lying on his makeshift bed, holding his ribs. "Oh, there you are," he said. "I heard Misek had arrived but then no one came near us."

"Perhaps they've got better things to do than dance attendance on your lordship," Ma said tartly, but Pa only grinned. "How's Gyo?" "G-good. Mi...Misek is going to c-come with us." "Oh?" Pa said, trying to sit up and wincing as he failed. Karik went to him and shoved another pillow behind him so he could straighten more easily. "Thanks, son. How can Misek leave the herbarium for two months?" Karik just shrugged. It had been cooked up between the two brothers, and presumably Pia had agreed. "D-don't know." "Pia's managed before, you know. And she's got her brother and her father to call on," Ma pointed out as she stirred the pot. "Yes, but spring's their busy time. I'll have a word with Risa...." Ma turned and wagged her wooden spoon at Pa. "No, you won't. You said Risa was in charge, so leave it be. Gods, Reji, you've known Misek twenty-six years – have you ever known him make a stupid decision? I've known him sixteen and damned if I can remember him doing so." "True. All right. He's got the experience which Lori hasn't, so it makes me a little easier. I think it will help Risa too, what do you think, Karik?" Karik was a little startled by the question, since he thought he wasn't really part of the discussion any more. "Y-yes." He realised that sounded rather weedy. "It's a g-good idea." "There you go," his mother said firmly. "Karik, set the table, please. Reji, can you manage to sit with us, or shall I bring you a tray?" "Let me try the table – my arse is turning to rock lying in bed all day." She hooted with laughter. "This is the man whose idea of fun is to do just that." "Just because I want to spend all day in bed," Pa retorted, "doesn't mean I want to keep still." Pa got through supper sitting normally, although it was clearly a trial for him. When he declared he wanted to sleep in his own bed with his own lover that night, Ma made a protest for the look of it, and then agreed, although she insisted he would have to use a chamber pot if he needed to relieve himself in the night.

"Anything, I can't sleep on that chair, it's harder than stone," he declared with feeling. "As soon as I'm mended, I'm going to ask Noki to help me make a new one. If any of us get sick in the future, we'll need it." Ma kissed his cheek. "You're only thinking of your own old age, which is a little closer than it is for the rest of us," she teased. Pa slapped her rump. "Now come on, you old hag, you're only two years younger than me. Maybe I better just move our bed down here and Karik can bring us our soup while we drool on the pillows." "Karik will be married and too busy to feed you anything by then," his mother said. "Won't you, Ka-chi?" Personally, Karik thought that was unlikely, but he smiled anyway. "I mi-might stop by." "So kind, son of mine," Pa said, pulling a face at him. "I knew there was a reason we kept you around." It was just a joke, but Karik couldn't stop the slow burn in his face, or the emotions the words caused. Ma gave him a sharp look and then turned to Pa. "Reji, are you ready for me to give you a wash?" "I can wash myself, Jena," he said impatiently. "I've only sprained my knee, not broken it in two." She folded her arms. "Fine. Be an independent arse and when Karik and I have to come and pick you up off the floor, you'll only have yourself to blame." Pa got to his feet with the help of the chair back and his stick. "Oh, be quiet, you harridan, you're enjoying this far too much." Ma just rolled her eyes at him. "Come on, Karik, we'll clear up while your Pa proves what a man he is." Karik's parents were the only adults in the village who spoke to each other like this and he sometimes wondered if they were quite right in the head. He began to clear the plates to take to the sink to scrub, while Ma put the bread away in the bread bin and the other food into the larder. He knew she was listening out for Pa, but since his father was being so pig-headed, he also knew she wasn't going to go in there unless he yelled.

She startled him by laying a hand on the back of his neck. What's bothering you, Ka-chi? He turned to look at her – all he could see in her expression was kind concern. Ma, when you were in Utuk.... Her expression changed immediately, becoming wary. Did you know what happened to Pia? She relaxed immediately, but he wasn't sure why. Gyo's said something or been told something? He said...he said his Ma was raped. It was such an ugly word, he thought, but then it was a damn ugly thing. Oh. Come and sit, dear, so we can talk about it. Karik nodded as she led him over to his Pa's now abandoned bed. He's upset, Ma. Really angry at the man who hurt her. I don't blame him. We were all very angry about that – she wasn't the only one, but for her sake and the others, we don't talk about it, and you aren't to, either. It's not fair on Pia. And Gyo is Misek's son in everything but blood, just as you are mine, Ka-chi. She kissed his forehead in blessing and Karik couldn't help but be warmed by the tender gesture. He said the man was dead. Is that true? Yes, dear. Her mouth tightened as she added, He died five years ago, and good riddance to him. You knew who he was? We know who they all were, she said bitterly. And most of them are dead or forgotten. What about the people who had you? Are they dead too? She picked at a speck of dirt on his shirt before answering. Yes, but the man I was with was different, Karik. Karus was a very kind, gentle man, who died before we were rescued. Don't tarnish his good name with the sins of the others. The name was too similar for coincidence.Karus...? Yes, you were named for him. He was a good person, Karik.

Ma, if you know all this stuff, why haven't you told me about it? She took her hand off his arm. "We uh... Karik, it's very complicated, and some of it isn't my right to tell." "Ah-Arman kn-knows who my p-parents are." She touched him again. Ka-chi, I think it's time you had a talk to Arman when you get to Darshek. But you have to understand that adults have secrets too, and pain, and sometimes they want to hide things, not because they don't trust you, but they don't trust themselves. I just want to know who my father is. Your father is Reji, my son. I am your mother. Whoever planted his seed on whatever woman, doesn't alter that, do you understand? She almost looked afraid as she said this, for all the fierce tone in her voice. I know, Ma. I'm your son. I just want to know who gave birth to me. She relaxed again. That's perfectly natural, Karik. Hopefully one day, it won't matter any more whether your hair is blond or brown, or what the colour of your eyes is. You'll know that you're just Karik, our beloved son. She tugged his braid affectionately. But you have to reach that conclusion on your own. I just ask you to be respectful of Arman. He gave up a lot to leave Utuk, and you'll remind him of that. Karik nodded. She smiled and kissed his forehead again, then straightened up and put a wry grin on her face. "Do you think your Pa's fallen over yet?" Should I go and look? Why not? I doubt it'll hurt his pride any more to have you see him like that than me. Karik got up to see if Pa needed help. He would have liked to have spent more time talking to his Ma about what she'd said, but she was clearly uncomfortable with the topic. When he got to Darshek, he would have to ask uncle Kei about it.

The subjects of fathers didn't come up again with Gyo, although his friend was happy to spend all his spare time with him. They worked together on the bean loads and with Gyo's strength, the task was done in less than half the time, leaving the two of them plenty of time to talk and to explore. Gyo was really getting sick of working in the herbarium, he said, however much he adored his Pa. He wanted to be a carpenter, or even a wainwright. "But there's no room for another apprentice in Ai-Tuek," he said gloomily. "I'd even work as a trader. I think I'd really like that. Wish Pa was a trader like Reji, instead of a gardener." "I d-don't wuh-want to be a trader," Karik confessed. "I w-want to be a h-healer." Gyo looked at him. "Still? It's a lot of study, Ka-chi. What about your...?" He pointed at his mouth. "Might make it hard to do that." Karik nodded, knowing it was unfortunately true that his stammer would make being a healer very difficult. Knowledge was only part of it, his Ma was always telling him that. A lot was reassuring the patient, getting information and giving instructions. When he sometimes found it hard to get even the simplest sentence out clearly, he knew that this side of the job would probably be beyond him. "Mmaybe I c-could work with d-deaf people." Gyo laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. "Maybe you could. You're smart, Karik. Smarter than me. I could never be a healer, but I don't want to be one, so that's good. I'll race you over to the mine head, all right?" Not fair, Karik complained to himself as he struggled with the twin disadvantage of surprise and shorter legs. It was about half a mile to the spoil heap which marked where Banji and Rin and their people were working the new shaft. As Karik jogged up, Gyo was already standing talking to his uncle and grandfather, who waved politely at Karik as he pulled up, out of breath. "You b-bastard," he muttered at his friend who only grinned. "Huh-hello, Rin, B-Banji." Banji's shy ten-year-old son, Keiji, smiled at Karik as his father greeted him. "Hello, Karik. Come to see if you might like to be a miner too? You're short enough. When he grows up, young Keiji-ki can keep you company." Karik refrained from scowling at the jibe from Banji. Just because he was short didn't mean he wanted to spend his days living like a worm. Rin ignored both of them and continued what he was saying to Gyo, something about starting a new shaft sooner than they expected. Karik muttered a polite rejection of Banji's suggestion before wandering off to where Gyo's aunt was hauling ore buckets up

on a winch. Pijli was easily as strong as him. All of the mining family were very fit and the men were stronger even than Karik's Pa on his best day. "How are you, Karik? Are you glad to see Gyo again? And are you excited about going to Darshek?" He answered her questions with a single "yes", since he didn't feel like separating how he felt about the journey from his pleasure at seeing Gyo. "Wuhwhere's Nev?" "Down below, giving Banji a rest." Karik nodded as he helped her switch buckets, and carried the full one over to the waiting cart. He waited until the bucket was lowered again before asking, "PPijli, d-do you rem-member the war?" She looked at him in surprise. "Of course I do, Karik. I was nearly your age. That was a bad time," she said, scowling. "Wuh-what happened?" Another look of surprise. "Hasn't Jena told you about it?" He shook his head and she pursed her lips. "She was one of the hostages the Prij took to Utuk. The rest of us either went to Darshek for safety, or stayed in the village with the soldiers. Banji and I went north, Mis and Risa stayed here." "Wuh-why Risa?" "Because he was too young for the Prij to want. Mis thought they wouldn't take him because of his eye. But they took Kei and Peit and Urki...." "Kei?" Now Karik was completely confused. He'd never heard that Kei had been one of the hostages before. He'd have thought someone would have mentioned it. "You really don't know much, do you?" she said, cocking her head quizzically. "Why haven't you asked your Ma, Karik?" "Sh-she d-duh-doesn't ll-like to talk about it." "I'm not surprised. Look, Karik, it's not a secret, but I don't want to go behind her back."

Karik could have yelled with frustration. "Sh-she said I wuh-was too young bebefore." "You're still...." But then she looked at him. "No, you're not really a child any more. I forget that, just because you're small for your age. I'm so used to the giants in the village," she joked, gesturing toward Gyo. "Kei," Karik insisted. Somehow he felt his uncle was the key to unlock this whole mystery. She sighed. "Kei was one of the hostages that the Prij took. That happened while I was in the camp in Darshek. The next time I saw him, he was with some Darshianese soldiers and Arman was their prisoner being...." Karik started with shock. "Wuh-what?" "Don't you even know that? Karik, Arman was a general in the Prij army. He was the one who took our people away." "No! H-he rescued...." Karik stopped. All he really knew was that people talked about Arman rescuing the hostages and then he'd come to live in the village, before he and Kei had moved to Darshek. He knew Arman was a Prij, but he hadn't known he was a soldier. "I d-don't understand." She laid a hand on his shoulder. "Ka-chi, I really think you should talk to Jena and Reji about this. I don't want to say the wrong thing. " Gyo had finished talking to his grandfather and now strolled over, greeting his aunt casually. "Are you going to go down the shaft after all, Karik?" Karik frowned at him and then turned back to Gyo's aunt. "P-Pijli, please...." "No, Karik, it's Jena's place to tell you more about this." "More about what, aunty Pij?" "Never you mind. Now, go on, you pair. Some of us are working." Gyo made a noise of protest but Karik began to walk away, feeling cross and frustrated at all the secrecy. If it wasn't a secret, then why wouldn't people tell him anything? "Hey, Karik, slow down!" Gyo caught him up and slung an arm around his shoulders. "What's biting your tail, Ka-chi?"

Karik shook him off. "S-sick of b-being tuh-reated like a kid." "By aunty Pij? What did she say?" Kairk walked on until he was sure they were out of earshot of Rin's family. "Ddid your Muh-Ma tell you ab-bout the war? About the h-hostages?" "Some. She doesn't like to talk about it much. Why are you asking now? You never wanted to know before." "I d-didn't know it wuh-was important. Wuh-what do you kn-know about Arman?" Gyo stopped walking and stared at him. "Arman? I know the same as you do. What's he got to do with anything all of a sudden?" "Th-that's what I wuh-want to know." He kept on walking. Now his curiosity was so thoroughly aroused, he had to find out the answers to his many questions. "Do you want me to go away?" He turned to his friend, who was looking puzzled and not a little hurt at Karik being so abrupt. He forgot sometimes that Gyo wasn't as old as he looked – he was a year younger than Karik for all he was so tall. "No, we can b-both ask." He linked arms with Gyo and tugged him along. He hoped his Ma was in a talkative mood. But she wasn't there. His Pa was, though, mending a bridle at the table. "Oh, hello, boys, I thought we wouldn't see you until supper. Karik, you couldn't make some tea, could you?" He nodded and filled the kettle from the cistern tap, poking the low fire into life in the belly of the stove. When he turned around, Gyo was sitting at the table, watching Pa work. "That last load all stowed away?" "Yes, Pa. P-Pa, c-can I ask a question?" "Of course, son, you don't need my permission." "Wuh-was Arman a s-soldier?"

Pa laid the leatherwork down. "Arman? Why are you asking about him?" Karik just kept looking at his father until he sighed and gave in. "Well, yes he was. A general, in fact. But that was before you were born, Karik. He's not in the military at all now. He refused to let the Rulers make him a colonel – they even offered to make him a general in our army but he wouldn't have it." Gyo was bug-eyed with surprise. "Arman? A general?" "D-did he t-take people away? Ma? And Kei?" Karik's father didn't look happy at his question. "Who been telling you things, Karik?" "I think it was aunty Pijli, Reji," Gyo said helpfully, rather to Karik's annoyance. "What did she say Arman did, Karik?" Karik started to answer, but Pa held up his hand. "You know, this is ancient history, and painful to a lot of people, Karik. I'm not sure talking about it helps anyone." Karik nodded. "Yes. B-but I wuh-want to know, Pa." His father sighed heavily again. "All right. There's not a lot to it, actually. Arman was one of the generals who brought the Prij troops to our territory when they invaded all those years ago. Kei was one of the hostages they took from here and Karik's Ma was taken from Ai-Rutej." "Ma said they were all forced to be servants," Gyo said, scowling. "Yes, they were," Pa agreed. "When the hostages got to Utuk, they were all placed in houses of the rich to work. Some were unlucky like your Ma," he said to Gyo gently, "and they were treated badly. Kei was placed with Arman, Jena with Arman's friend. Jena was well-treated, she told you that, I know." Karik nodded. "Kei wasn't treated kindly, but that wasn't Arman's fault, and he put a stop to it when he found out. That was how they became friends, actually. Anyway, a few months later, Arman was sent north again to find out what was going on here – what was happening was that our soldiers had taken back our land," he noted with a slightly wolfish smile. "He took Kei with him. There was a battle when the Prij troops crossed Tirko Pass, and Arman was captured and injured. Kei came with the soldiers bringing him north to Darshek. Somewhere along the line they fell in love and Arman agreed to help get our people home. Which he did,

and he's lived in Darshian ever since. I met him when Kei brought him to Darshek, and I went with them when we went to rescue Jena and Pia and the others. It was really something to see." He grinned. "We really scared the shit out of those damn Prij." Karik had a feeling the brief narrative had covered all the facts but that there were still important things left out. "S-so, no big secret?" His Pa shook his head. "Not really, son, but it just was a painful time for a lot of us, losing friends, worrying about them – and some people never came home," he added, his smile slipping, "so we don't like to talk about it. Kei had a bad time of it in Utuk, and Arman had...well, he had his own sorrows. He did things he regretted and I think he's been trying to make up for it ever since." "Did he kill people?" Gyo asked, eyes big with curiosity. The water boiled just then and Karik turned to sort out the tea, but he was listening avidly for his father's answer. "Yes, he did," Pa said in a low voice. "But he's not like that any more. Karik, what I've told you today is for you, not for anyone else to hear. It's not your story to tell, do you understand?" "Yes, Pa. B-but wuh-where did he f-find me?" It made no sense, carrying a baby around during a war. There wasn't an answer – he turned and found his father looking at him sadly. "Karik, you have to ask him that." "I j-just wuh-want to know who my p-parents are. Wuh-where I c-came from." Pa's hand, which had been resting loosely on the leather straps, tightened a little, almost as if he was angry, although his expression was just a little sad. "I know, son, but there's more to being a father than just getting a woman pregnant." "That's right, Ka-chi," Gyo said angrily. "Even if that pissing bastard who hurt Ma was alive, I wouldn't want him to be my Pa." "Language, Gyo," Pa said, but only with slight reproof. "But that's exactly my point." If Pa knew so much about all this, he had to know the rest of it. Karik pinned his father with a fierce look. "You kn-know who my real f-father is, d-don't you?"

"Yes, I do." Pa looked regretful, as he added, "But I can't tell you, Karik. If Arman wants to, then he can." His words were like being slapped in the face. Shocked and angry, Karik slammed the tea pot down on the table. "You said you d-didn't know!" he yelled. "You lied, Pa!" He stormed out, Gyo's and his father's pleas to return ringing in his ears, and then with angry tears blinding his eyes, he ran up the street and out of the village towards the fields. It was bad enough they hadn't even bothered to tell him things that everyone else in the village seemed to know. But to lie about something he'd asked directly about, and more than once – Pa, who never lied to anyone – how could he trust him any more? People looked at him curiously as he bolted along the street, past the houses and workshops, past the fields with the spring crop of urko beans just beginning to appear above the soil. There was a large stand of trees near the edge of one of the farms which he liked to climb so he could look at the baby birds, but this time he wanted to use it to escape. He scrambled up a favourite tree and found his usual perch in the crook of a large branch, then hugged his knees to his chest. He was ashamed at being so upset, but he felt so betrayed. To think that Gyo's Ma trusted him with the name of his father even with the kind of man he'd turned out to be, but Karik apparently wasn't mature enough in their eyes to know who his real parents were. What was the big deal anyway? He hadn't been this angry in years, not since the worst bullying had been firmly stopped by Fedor and the clan elders speaking sternly to all the children in the village. Embarrassing as that had been, it meant Karik hadn't suffered quite as much as he had done before, and then the others had grown up a little and found other things to amuse them. But Pa lying to him was far worse than anything the children had done to him, even when they had tried to cut his hair or to dye it brown, or when Peit's son had held him down that time and scrubbed dirt and mud all over his skin to make it less pale. That was just stupidity. What Pa had done.... He rubbed his eyes furiously. He was sick of this. It was all very well for his Pa and Ma to say he was their son, but he wasn't really, and every single person who looked at him knew it. At least with Gyo, people didn't even notice he had very slightly wavy hair and green eyes until they were talking to him for a while, and Kei said there were some naturally green-eyed Darshianese, so it didn't mean Gyo had to have a foreign father. But Karik was as different in looks from the other villagers as trees were from merkos.

He sat staring into space for a long time, and finally realised that the rising cloud of dust he'd been looking at without really seeing for several minutes meant another farmer was arriving with more damn beans. He really should get down and help the others, but he was feeling rebellious and resentful and couldn't see why he should help a bunch of people who looked down on him because of his height and his stammer and his colour, and who'd lied to him and treated him as if he was feeble-minded, just because he couldn't speak as clearly as they could. Karik began to seriously wonder how easy it would be to just run away – somehow get to Urshek or even Utuk where Prij were common, and he would just be another face in the crowd.... "Karik?" He looked down. His Ma was calling, looking up into the trees. She couldn't see him yet, but she must know he was there. "Wuh-what?" Great – even when he was being rude, he had to stammer. "Are you all right, son?" He wasn't going to answer. He felt like yelling that of course he felt just fine after learning that his father had lied to him, that both his parents had. But all he said was, "No." "I thought not. Ka-chi, I'm too old to climb up. Won't you come down?" He could refuse, but he was already feeling a bit foolish. He was going to be told off, but he'd suffered worse from people. He climbed down slowly, and then stood at the base of the tree, looking at his feet. He really couldn't face her disappointment. "Karik, do you want to talk?" He shook his head. "S-sorry I yelled." "No, dear, we're the ones who should apologise." He lifted his head. Instead of the annoyance he expected to see, he found his Ma looking rather worried and a little sad. "Wuh-what?" She took his arm and he let her lead him over to a raised root where she sat down and indicated he should too. She kept hold of his hand. Your Pa told me what happened. Gyo's upset.

I'm sorry, I just got...Ma, why did you lie to me? You know who my parents are, why can't you tell me? Dear, it's not for me to say. Or your Pa. We agreed this years and years ago with Arman that he would be the one to tell you. But you lied! You could have said.... What, Ka-chi? You were eight the first time you asked. Would you have understood the idea of waiting for a few years? You don't trust me. No, Karik. We just made a solemn promise to a dear friend, that's all. That just made him angry again. He's more important to you than me. "Oh, Ka-chi," she said, putting her arm around him. "That's just not true. Reji and I would give our lives for you. We wouldn't do that for Arman. But we thought this was best. I'm sorry it's hurt you, and I'm sorry we had to lie to you. We were trying to protect you and Arman." She urged him to lay his head on her shoulder, then began to stroke his hair carefully. It's partly because we're afraid, son. You're the most precious thing in our lives and we don't want to lose you, have you run off because you think these mythical parents might be better than us. It's a silly thing, I know, and you have to do what's best for you, but.... We love you so much, Karik. Neither of us ever expected to be able to raise a child and though it was hard in the early days, you were such a joy to us. You still are. I wouldn't leave you, Ma! I promise I won't. He looked up and saw there were tears in her eyes, one even slipping down her cheek as he watched. He'd only seen her crying a couple of times in his life and both times had been when a patient of hers had died. "D-don't cry, Ma. I wuh-won't leave." "Thank you, Ka-chi. You're such a good boy." She wiped her eyes and sniffed hard. "Why don't you come back to the house? Reji's talking to Gyo and Misek. We can tell you more about the war, not that there's a lot to tell. We weren't really hiding it from you, it's just we all put it behind us. Arman's not proud of how he was then, although he's a bit too hard on himself, I think." Was he a bad man, Ma? Did he hurt you or Kei?

No, he didn't hurt us, and he's not a bad man, not at all. But he was a soldier and he was fighting our people. He just wanted a fresh start when he came back with Kei. You know he loves Kei, don't you? Karik nodded. People made gentle fun of his uncle even to his face about the fact he and Arman were still so affectionate after all their years together, and one never really seemed completely happy unless the other was there. Well, there you go. Kei's a good man, so if he loves Arman, Arman must be good too, don't you think? I guess so. Ma, will Arman tell me the truth when I ask him? I don't honestly know, dear. Like I said last night, he might just find it all too painful to talk about. She looked at him earnestly. "Can you accept not knowing?" I'd try to accept it. I'll try to understand, Ma, I really will. "Thank you, dear." She stood up. "Come back now. Your father's not angry, I promise you. He's just worried about you. It'll be all right, wait and see." She held his hand as they walked back to the village, just as she had when he was smaller, but he got the feeling this time it was for her comfort, not his. He hadn't realised his parents might be afraid he would leave them. He only wanted to know who his original father and mother were, but if they hadn't wanted him sixteen years ago, he didn't want to just leave his home and live with strangers. "I l-love you, Ma," he said quietly as they walked. "And I love you, my darling son," she said, her hand tightening around his, and her eyes full of tenderness that made him feel warm and happy just to see. "You've been a blessing on our lives since we first took you in." Now a lot calmer, if feeling rather stupid for being such a baby about things, Karik followed his Ma back into their house. His father held out his arm as he saw Karik, and as Karik came to him, he was pulled into a careful hug on his Pa's good side. "I'm sorry, son. We should have explained things better. I didn't want to lie to you." "It's al-all right, Pa. M...Ma exp-plained." Gyo was sitting close by his father, and gave Karik a rather shaky looking smile. "S-sorry, Gyo." His friend, for all his huge size, was actually a sensitive soul who hated strife and arguments. Karik should have remembered that. "We understand, lad," Misek said kindly. "You boys are in an awkward situation, we all know that." He ruffled the back of his son's head. "Not boys. Young men."

"Fine young men," Karik's Pa agreed. "Jena, let's have some tea. Karik, sit by me." The agitation in Karik's heart died a silent death as the three adults talked over mugs of tea, Pa's hand resting lightly on Karik's shoulder, and Ma on his other side. Even though Pa must have known there were more harvest loads coming in, he made no attempt to call the conversation to a halt and send Karik to help his partner. Instead, he and Misek described events that had happened sixteen years before, how the word had come of the Prij invasion and how Fedor had had the painful task of telling some of his people to leave for their own safety, and of having to let his own adopted son be taken away, possibly never to be seen again. "You can imagine how he felt when Kei waltzed back in with Arman the first time, let alone the second," Misek said, chuckling slightly. "My Ma nearly had a stroke – she was terrified of the soldiers, and didn't want any of us to have anything to do with Arman when he was here as a prisoner. When Pa heard that Kei had actually got Arman invited to Myka's wedding...." Karik's father grinned. "You know, I only heard about it after the fact and I still couldn't believe the size of his balls for trying it. He claimed it was Myka's fault, but you know it had to be Kei." "I know it was," Misek agreed. "And then of course, then Kei had to top that by bringing him back as a lover and calmly announcing that Arman was going to live here or Kei would just leave. If it hadn't been Kei, I don't think he'd have got away with it. But then we got to know Arman, and he really did his best to fit in." "Yes, I have to give him that," Pa said. "Anything anyone asked him to do, he did it, and he never argued back if someone was rude to him. It just took the steam out of them when he did that, of course." "He had plenty of practice arguing with me," Ma said, setting the freshened pot of tea down, and a plate of small cakes for their guests. "I really hated him for a while, but it's hard to hate someone trying so hard to make up for his sins." "Kei makes the difference," Misek said. "I know he won Ma over, and Fedor. People in Ai-Tuek couldn't believe that our healer fell in love with a Prij though. That was all they wanted to talk about when I moved there. But it never comes up now. Funny that, when you think about it," he mused, sipping his tea.

"People have moved on," Karik's Ma said. "Pia and I think about it more than you would, but we have our own reasons." Karik looked at his mother's sad expression. "M-Ma, if no one h-hurt you, wuhwhy is it hard to t-talk about it?" She stroked his arm gently. "I never said no one hurt me, son. Only that Karus didn't. There was a lot of cruelty around at that time. Not all of it was from the Prij, either." She exchanged a look with Pa, who took her hand. Karik didn't want to hurt her by pushing. He was just glad that the secrecy was over and even though he had to wait until he got to Darshek to ask the really burning question, at least he now had his parents' blessing to ask it. Now the three adults had begun to reminisce, it seemed like a dam had been unblocked, and they talked for hours about their shared past. In fact, they were so long at it that Risa came looking for Karik, and grumbled when he found not one but three potential labourers sitting on their backsides, drinking tea. "All right for some," he muttered, but accepted a cup of tea anyway. "Mis, Ma is nearly ready to set supper." "Well, I suppose we'd better be going. It's not like we won't have plenty of time to talk on the trail. Jena, I need to send a message to Ai-Tuek to let Pia's brother know what's happening. Can I do that now?" "Of course," Ma said, moving to his side and taking his arm. Passing the message to the other village's mind-speaker took only a matter of minutes, and then Misek told Gyo they had to go. "I'll see you tomorrow, Kachi," Gyo said, looking a lot happier than when Karik had returned to the house. Karik waved goodbye to him, and then his mother set Reji and him to shelling beans and cleaning root vegetables while she fetched some dried meat from their cool store. "Do you really forgive me, Karik?" Pa asked in a low voice as Jena left the room. "Y-yes. I'm sorry I yelled." "It's all right. I think in your position I'd have yelled a bit too." Karik smiled a little. "You know, son, for your sake, I wish I looked more like Arman. But I never wished you looked more like me." He took Karik's wrist in his hand. "If I could have chosen a son specially, I'd still want him to be just like you."

" Pa, I wuh-won't ever leave you or M-Ma." "Well, you might one day, son. We both hope you'll get married or at least find a lover the way Kei did. You might move from the village for that, or find work somewhere else, and we'd understand. Just so long as you don't leave us here," he said, tapping Karik's forehead. "I won't. I p-promise." His Pa smiled and tugged his braid gently. "That's definitely the best thing I've heard all day. Now, we better hurry up or your Ma will tear the hide off me for distracting you."

 

Chapter 3 There were days when Arman felt every bit of his forty-one years, and today was one of them. It was a day which made him yearn for when he was younger and could spend weeks under canvas, out of cities, away from bureaucrats and politicians. He didn't miss the soldiering as such – but he missed the sense of being his own master. The fact that, strictly speaking, he was his own master, since he worked purely on a voluntary basis, didn't really alter the sense of being harried by petty annoyances that were likely to wear him to a bloody stump through their sheer volume. When he was stressed, he had two ways of dealing with it – solitary exercise, or finding Kei and letting his lover take the reins. It was too late in the afternoon to go for much of a walk, and too cold on this damp, cloudy day for a swim in the harbour, so he settled for going to the academy to see if he could cajole Kei into leaving early. However, he was out of luck, being told that Kei had left early – but that he had gone to the House of the Gifted. So Arman had a choice of walking a half mile to their house, or half a mile to the House of the Gifted and then a mile home. Easy choice really, when he knew who was waiting for him. "Arman!" He was smiling before he turned. "Hello, Meda." He took her hand and bent so she could kiss her cheek. "I hoped you might drop over this week," she said. "Oh? Any reason?" "No, just missing you both. Kei's here, but I suppose you know that." "Yes, I heard. Where is he?" "In the indoor garden. Come on," she said, taking him along by the hand. The 'indoor garden' as they liked to call it, was really more of a greenhouse that had been built inside a large atrium on the south wing. It housed plants from all over Darshian, Andon, and now Kuprij, and was one of the most elegant and well-constructed edifices in Darshek. Glass and metal chimes tinkled softly as small birds – not pets, but ones who had just made their home in this inviting space – hopped among the leaves and branches of the thickly clustered plants.

Clever metal tracery decorated door and window edges, and the floor was inlaid with perfect, detailed mosaics. At its heart was a clear area with cushions and chairs, where many of the residents loved to spend bright mornings, or cold, dull days when the trapped heat of what little sun there had been made it a warm and welcoming place. In the summer, the windows were thrown open to the garden, but now, they provided shelter against the renewing drizzle softly spattering the glass. A few fire sprites hung in the air, relieving the gloom. Arman felt tension slipping out of him just smelling the scents of the hanging blossoms, some of which reminded him of happier times with Karus in his garden, and in that of his parents when his mother had still been alive. Of course, the thing that really lifted his mood was the smile on Kei's face. "Oh, hello, Arman. I didn't expect you to come all the way here." Kei held out his hand and tugged him down onto the seat. "You look more like you have a headache," he said, laying his hand on the back of Arman's neck. After all these years, it produced an automatic response, and he just lowered his head for the expected and welcome neck rub. "Are they all being tiresome again?" "Very. Very, very, very. It's days like this when I really miss Lady Jilki. She'd have stopped this nonsense in five minutes." "We all miss Jil," Meda said quietly. "I know Nera does, a lot." "Yes, I know." The death of the formidable Ruler from a stroke two months before at the relatively young age of sixty, had been felt very keenly by friends and colleagues alike. Since her death, Arman had never been busier, or more appreciative of just how much the woman had done for her country. The Rulers, and those who served them as Arman did, were struggling to fill a very large hole. "Anyway, I think we might have made a breakthrough, but I said that last week, so I don't want to be too hopeful." Kei's warm hand on his skin was bliss. He needed this – this touch, this warmth. It fed a never fully satisfied hunger in him and gave him peace. In that, he wasn't so different from the three Gifted lounging in front of him. Meda had been drawn down to the cushions with her two lovers, and Reis was petting her, stroking her stomach, while her cheek rested against Neris' neck. "Where's Jera?" "Oh, he and Wyma are talking to Seiki," Reis said. "She's feeling sad – she misses her mother."

"Poor child," Kei said. "You'll like her, Arman, she's so sweet. I wonder if it goes with being a mind-speaker, you know. If it were me, hearing everyone's thoughts and keeping their secrets would make me horribly bad-tempered." Arman gave him a gentle poke. "Then it's as well you're not one, because a badtempered Kei is a dreadful sight." Meda grinned at him for that. Reis spoke up. "Arman, why don't you and Kei stay for supper? The weather is so dull." He looked at Kei. "That's kind, Reis, but Pira is expecting us, and I don't like to leave her on her own without warning." "Arman's right." Kei said. "It wouldn't be kind to not turn up this late in the day. But how about we come to you tomorrow – or you could come to us?" "Oh, come to us," Meda said eagerly. "I know Wyma would like that, and you can help cheer Seiki up, Arman." "Me? I'm more likely to depress her, Meda." She only laughed. "Oh, Arman, you're so funny sometimes." Arman shook his head. Meda seemed to see him as a far more genial and amusing person than Arman felt himself to be. "Are you working on anything now?" "Yes, I started on Wyma's portrait just today. Want to see?" Arman did, very much, and although her companions grumbled at being disturbed, they followed her uncomplainingly up to the first floor where she shared a large studio with several other of the Gifted who also painted or sculpted. Wyma's portrait was little more than a sketch, but already she had caught the kind, slightly otherworldly look of the venerable soul-toucher's eyes. At eighty, Wyma was the patriarch of this odd little clan, easily the oldest one of them all. Several portraits of him at different ages hung around the House, and although one might think this could be the last because of his great age, it was not inconceivable he might live a few years more. One of the many oddities about the Gifted was their longevity and general good health. The oldest had lived to be ninety five, an incredible age for Arman to contemplate. Even though Wyma was now frail, he was still very sharp, and reminded Arman not a little of Karus.

Wyma's was not the only portrait. A half-completed one of Lady Jilki stood on an easel to one side, a posthumous tribute to a much loved friend and supporter. There were others in progress as well. "Oh, when did you persuade him to sit still enough for this?" Kei said, wandering over to where the sharp features of Lord Meki had been roughly laid out on a gesso-covered board. Meda smiled. "I didn't – you must be joking. I had to get Neka's help to give me the images from other people's minds. He'd be cross if he saw it. He doesn't want any fuss made." "I can understand that," Arman said thoughtfully. "But, gods, the man has served almost longer than any other Ruler in over a hundred years – that has to mean something." "That's why he won't retire," Kei said with a chuckle. "He wants to break the record." "I think it's that he just doesn't know how to stop," Arman said. Reis sighed, touching the picture. "I thought when his great granddaughter was born, he might. But he doesn't seem to be interested in spending time with children." A view with which Arman had some sympathy, preferring as his elderly patron did, to spend time with people who could actually talk intelligently to him. But as he thought of how the Ruler's life had lost almost all meaning when his soulmate died, he shivered, wondering if he could ever survive without Kei if the worst happened. Kei, of course, noticed his sadness and moved quietly to his side, putting his arm around him. "Shall we go?" he murmured. "Being late is almost as rude as not turning up at all." "Yes, of course. Meda, I can't wait to see the pictures finished. I can tell already they will be worthy of their subjects." She smiled shyly at that – honest praise of her art always seemed to reduce her to tongue-tied pleasure. She gestured for him to lean down so she could kiss his cheek. "I'll make you a copy of Meki's," she whispered. "Our secret." "I'd like that."

Kei, who'd been close enough to hear the exchange, squeezed Arman a little around the waist. "Come on, we'll need to borrow a lamp as it is." "Do you want to borrow our carriage too, Arman?" Neris asked. "Or maybe Reis...." "No, thank you," Arman said hastily. "I'd like the walk. Kei?" Kei nodded. "We'll see you tomorrow, then." They were waved goodbye and made their own way out of the house. The drizzle had stopped, and there was a little light coming from the houses and the watch stations every few hundred yards, but they were really dependent on the oil lamp Kei was holding on a pole above and in front of them. The streets were emptying, people going back to their homes for supper, one or two carriages drawn by jesigs clipping along the rain slicked streets to the houses of their owners. Arman was glad they hadn't accepted the invitation to dinner. He wasn't feeling in a companionable mood, although Pira and Kei would place no demands on his short temper, he knew that. "Meki came to see me today," Kei said as they walked along. "Oh?" Arman was surprised. Kei was always a little wary of the Ruler, although Lord Meki was unfailingly complimentary about Kei and it was in no small part due to his patronage that Kei was the senior master of medical studies at the academy. That Kei was not the senior master of the academy itself was simply because Kei did not wish to be. The post was his for the taking – it had been held by a succession of temporary officers for years. But Kei didn't want that level of responsibility, and also still wanted to be as much a hands-on healer as he could. Arman thought the decision was right for his lover, and agreed with it. Lord Meki didn't. "Pestering you about the position again?" "No, not this time. He was pestering me though." Arman glanced at his lover, and was surprised to see his sensual lips pressed into an uncharacteristically annoyed line. "Want me to ask him to back off?" "No. I want you to explain why you didn't tell me you'd been offered the position of Ruler." Ah. "Well, because I had no intention of accepting, that's why. I didn't want to discuss something with you which was never going to happen. I thought it would only annoy you."

Kei stopped and turned to him. "Arman," he said gently. "You can discuss anything with me. Don't hide things from me, I don't like it. Apart from anything else, Meki thought your refusal was because of my objection, and it was rather embarrassing to have to admit I knew absolutely nothing about it." "I'm sorry, Kei, truly. I'll tell him – but I honestly don't know why he's bothering you at all when they've already put Jiv in place." Kei began to walk on. "Can't you guess, Arman? He actually wants to retire. He's having heart problems, though I shouldn't tell you that as it's confidential. But he won't go willingly until the person he wants is in post. That's you." "I can't, Kei. For all kinds of reasons, only some of which are to do with you." Kei sighed. "This is what you have me for, you great nitwit. You could just tell me about this stuff. Look, you've been his right hand man for fifteen years. Everyone knows you're able and well-suited. So why not?" "Because I don't deserve it, because I'm a Prij, because it might cause a stink in Utuk, and because I don't see enough of you as it is, damn it. Kei, we only came here in the first place more or less because Meki bullied me into it. I won't let him do that again. We do enough, we both do." "Hmmm." Kei walked on a little further in silence, but Arman could tell he was only marshalling his forces, not abandoning the field. "The 'don't deserve' is utter rubbish, you know. You've given this country fifteen years of loyal, voluntary service, and you brought peace even before that." "Whatever I've done, Kei, can never be enough. Your country brought me you. I could never repay Darshian for that." Kei glanced at him and gave him a sweet smile. "You're such a romantic, Arman. Loopy as a crazed thurl, but romantic. All right, then the fact you're a Prij. Except you're not and haven't been for sixteen years. So that's a nonsense of an argument." "You know perfectly well that for a lot of people, especially those in the dry region, I'm a Prij and will be to the day I die. A fancy bit of paper makes no difference. And a lot of people still remember me from the war." "My love, I remember you from the war. So what? You threatened to cut Seya's throat and she's one of your firmest supporters and a good friend. I think you think it matters more than it does."

"Tell that to Karik, then. The boy doesn't even speak Prijian, had a braid as long as anyone's, and yet his childhood companions still insult him. If he is tormented for the colour of his skin, how much more will I be distrusted when my skin covers my much darker crimes?" Kei made a rude noise of derision. "I think Meki rates your intelligence too highly sometimes. All right – Utuk. Who gives a damn what that crazy bitch thinks? Kuprij needs us a lot more than we need her. Besides, did it occur to you that Meki thinks it might actually strengthen bonds between our countries? "Yes, of course, because appointing an infamous traitor to the highest office in the land is a perfect way to curry favour with a vain, stupid woman who still hates my guts. Sometimes I think I rate your intelligence too highly." Kei stuck his tongue out at him, which made Arman smile because Kei looked about five years old when he did things like that. "Kita won't live forever, and there's a lot of Darshianese in Kuprij now, a lot of Prij here. Things have moved on from the war." "Not enough. Anyway, what about the fact I would never see you? Or doesn't that matter to you?" Kei suddenly gave Arman the lamp pole to hold, and while he was still startled by the abrupt action, Kei took advantage of his confusion to seize him firmly and kiss him breathless, certainly not something Arman was going to complain about – although he had to remember not to drop the lamp. When he was done, Kei pushed him back firmly. "Any more idiotic questions?" Arman grinned. "No." He offered Kei the lamp pole but Kei indicated with an impatient flick of his hand that Arman could damn well carry it now. "But the fact remains that the job really needs more time than I'm prepared to sacrifice away from you. There's a reason Meki lives in the House, you know." "So we live in the House, that solves that problem." "Kei, no. You've got your library and your garden, there's Pira – what about inviting our friends over? Do you imagine Vikis and Kesa will enjoy eating in the Rulers' House? I can't see it." "Arman, it's very simple. Some of the week we stay at the Rulers' House, some of it at ours. And when we're at ours, we make a rule that we don't do Ruler business. You know Nera arranges things that way."

"Meki is a lot more active than Nera is. We don't have children or other ties. That's one of the reasons the damn man exploits me so much." Kei still looked serene. "All I'm saying is that your objections can be worked through. All you have to do is decide whether you want the job or not, same as me with the academy job. I didn't want it, so the rest was easy." "Well, I don't want this, so it's also easy." Kei turned to him. "Are you sure?" he asked quietly, slipping his arm around Arman's shoulder. "Yes. For now. Kei, Meki's not going to retire while Jiv is still newly in place, heart trouble or no – he's already told me that, and I trust his word. Let me think about it more, but it won't be an issue for a few months, and in that time, I intend to do all I can to find a candidate that he, or at least the other Rulers and the rest of the country will accept. They'll have to accept someone else if I won't do it, and I still believe, for all the reasons you have so firmly rejected, I'm the wrong person for the job. Although," he said with a smile, making Kei stop walking and tilting his head for a kiss, "there's something very tempting about you having to call me 'my lord' again." Kei grinned against Arman's mouth. "You're forgetting how disrespectful I am, Arman. Besides, I'll only call you 'my lord' if you call me 'Master'." "You've been my master for all these years and you know it, brat." Just then, there came a fresh spatter of rain. "Come on, Pira will be wondering where we've got to." Pira was indeed wondering, and scolded them a little for their tardiness, but Arman could tell she was pleased they had turned up. He wasn't surprised. They were always careful not to leave her isolated or ignored for any time at all, if they could help it. The day before, she had come down with a cold, and her symptoms had worsened since this morning. Seeing her flushed, fever-bright eyes and hearing her wheezing, which sounded alarming even to Arman, Kei insisted on dosing her with uyris flower tea and getting her to bed early, bringing her supper on a tray and generally fussing, which probably did Pira more good than any medicine. It left Arman and Kei alone to get their own meal in the kitchen, a good hearty bean soup with some of Pira's best bread. "I think we should cancel dinner with Reis and the others, and I'm going to work from here tomorrow," Kei said. "If you could tell them – I don't like the sound of her cough."

"Of course. If you have to go in the next day, I'll arrange to stay." That won him a brilliant smile. "What, I can't care about her too?" "No, I was just remembering how good you are with sick people, however rotten a patient you make." Arman mock-scowled at him. "Cheeky creature." Of course Kei was unmoved by his reprimand and only grinned back at him. "Oh, I forgot to mention that Jena spoke to me just before you got to the House." "Oh? A problem with Reji?" "No, with Karik. Arman, he's pretty determined to get some answers now." "Ah." The boy was nearly sixteen, Arman supposed it was only natural. Kei sat back in his chair to look at him. "You've had all this time to think of a response, and 'ah' is the best you can come up with?" "It's better than the truth, that's for sure. Kei, Karik won't be happier for knowing who his parents really are and you know it." "Yes. But he doesn't, Arman. It didn't help that Gyo learned the truth about his father and told Karik. The poor boy is imagining the worst, Jena says. The gossip in the village has been pretty lurid from time to time and she's sure he's heard more of it than he lets on. So what are you going to say to him? They've told him to ask you this time." "Have they now? That's helpful." Kei gave him a wry look. "Oh come on, that's really not fair. It's not like they could ever have concealed the fact he's adopted even if they wanted to. And everyone knows you brought him there. They kept their promise to let it be you to tell him, Arman. Now you have to." "And what if he decides to run off and join that disgusting pair?" Kei laid his hand over Arman's and looked him straight in the eye. "If you decide for good, defensible reasons that you can't tell him, then I'll support that and so will they. But to deny Karik the truth because you don't trust him.... Well, I think that's unjust. If he's that flighty, he might just run off to Utuk and look for answers anyway, and who knows what would happen to him if he did? My

knowledge of Karik tells me he's unlikely to do that. He's a very loving, thoughtful boy. Arman – he is not his father, or Mayl. He's very much Reji and Jena's child. Apart from his looks, I can see nothing of the others in him at all, nor sense it." "Well, I need to think about it. We still have weeks before they get here. I'm not sure I approve of Jena wasting Neka's time to pass on such trivial personal messages. Neka has a lot to do without that." "Oh, don't be an old curmudgeon, Arman," Kei said, sounding irritated. "Jena and Neka are friends and this isn't trivial. Karik's happiness is as important as yours or mine or theirs. I'd have thought you'd have appreciated the warning." "I do, I'm sorry. It's just that Neka has been doing so much for us lately...." "Yes, because she's a friend of ours too. Arman, you can't make her do anything she doesn't want to. Jera would just throw anyone who tried into the ocean. Now stop being grumpy and fetch me some more soup." Arman raised an eyebrow at the lordly tone even as he got up to refill their bowls. "Oh, yes, sir, your highness, Master Kei." "You know you're making fun of someone who can make your life a living hell if I get the dosages right, don't you?"

Karik spent as much time as he could with his parents until the time came to leave. Pa didn't question his sudden clinginess at all, and it seemed to Karik that his Ma and Pa were unusually unwilling to let him – or each other – out of their company for very long. It almost made him wish he was small enough to sleep in their bed again for those three nights. Since Pa was housebound and Ma still had her patients to care for, Pa took on what chores of hers and any cooking he could manage, which wasn't much. Karik usually did quite a lot of the cooking, but since he was doing Pa's job, Pa had offered to take on the burden. He wasn't a great cook, he freely acknowledged that, but Ma wasn't a lot better. Karik cooked better than either of them, because he'd spent more time watching Meis and Sira preparing meals. Karik didn't mind that food was rather indifferent if his parents made it – if all he

wanted was good cooking, he would go to Gyo's grandmother's house, or Myka's, or Sira's. Somehow meals were just more fun at home, with Pa teasing Ma and being chided for his naughtiness, or Ma talking to Karik gravely about the latest thing that Karik had discovered, the secret places the lizards laid their eggs, seeing moths emerge from their cocoons, or how he had watched thurls attack and take down a snake hundreds of times their own size and weight. Several times he'd told his mother about plants even she hadn't heard of, and she had asked him to show them to her, whereupon she'd carefully collected the seeds and dried the plants to send to Kei in Darshek. She'd told him many times to never give up looking at things that everyone else said were well-known or unimportant. "It's what people think they see, that they miss," she'd told him more than once. So this last night before travelling, as he helped Pa prepare the meal, he wasn't that surprised when his mother came back from visiting Fedor and, setting her basket aside, gave Karik a small parcel. "It's a notebook and a supply of pencils," she said. "For you to keep a diary if you want, or to make notes, or draw pictures of what you see. I want to know all about it, Ka-chi, everything. I want to know what you see." She kissed his forehead. "If anyone can see something new on that trail, it'll be you." "Damn right," Pa agreed. "You've the sharpest eye in Ai-Albon. Maybe even in Darshian, son." Karik flushed with pleasure. Ma revealed the rest of what was in her basket. "Sira's made you a new coat – that one you've been wearing is getting terribly ragged. She's going to mend it and give it to Keiji. Try this one on." He wiped his hands and let her slide it on his shoulders. It was made of urs beast and jombeker wool, jombeker leather on the shoulders and at the elbows, and lined with good, sturdy cloth. It was a man's coat, no doubt about it. His Pa and Risa each had one like it – loose fitting, waterproof and durable, it was perfect for anyone having to work hard in all weathers. There was room for him to grow into it but it still fitted well. "Oh yes, very good," she said with approval, as she made Karik turn so she could see the fit. "If only I sewed better than I do, I'd have made it myself. How does it feel?" "Ni-nice. Thank you."

She hugged him. "Well, thank Sira, really. You're all packed, I hope. I've got a medical kit for each of you, and you've read Kei's guide before, and watched me...." "Jena, love, Karik will be fine," Reji said, touching her face and making her look at him. "The worst that will happen is that he might die of boredom, but he's got two experienced men with him, and you and Gyo are such sensible lads. When I think how little thought I put into it the first time I went off on my own, it's a wonder a carcho didn't take me the first night I camped out." "Oh, gods, carchos...." Pa slipped his arm around Ma. "Jena, stop it. I've never had anything attack me in all this time. Fully grown beasts are too much work for them unless they're desperate, and the hunting's been good this season, Peit says. Karik and the others will sleep in the wagons if there's any risk. Bean sacks make damn fine beds, you know," he added, winking at Karik. "I d-don't muh-mind bed r-rolls." "No, but if there's a bean sack handy, take it. Risa certainly will, he knows all the tricks now." Ma took the pot into which Pa and Karik had been putting vegetables and beans over to the stove, and added some oil and a little water before putting the lid on to let the food steam. It would take half an hour or so to cook. Karik started to clean up the table, but his Ma took the cloth from him. "You sit and talk to your father, Ka-chi. You're going to be working hard over the next few weeks. Enjoy the rest while you can." Surprised and touched, Karik took his seat again. "Nervous about going?" his Pa asked. "No, just wuh-wish you were c-coming." "I wish I was too, but you like Misek, don't you?" Karik nodded. "Then it's all right. The first trip's the hard one – after that it's easier." Karik didn't know what to say to that, and could only look down at the wooden table top. He heard Ma speak. "Maybe Karik doesn't want to be a trader, Reji."

Pa didn't answer, but when Karik dared glance up at him, he found his father looking at him kindly. "I wasn't making any assumptions, son. With your brain, it would be a terrible waste." "B-but you're smuh-smart too, Pa." "Not like you, Karik. I'd love you to work with me, nothing would be better – but only if it was what you really wanted. Otherwise, just think of it as a way to see new things, and maybe you and your Ma can come with me from time to time up to Darshek." "G-Gyo wants to b-be a trader." His father seemed surprised. "Does he now? Maybe when you two get back, I'll have a word with him and his Pa. I'm sure Mis thinks the same as me, that he wants his boy to do what makes him happy." Karik's spirits rose – not only did he not have to pretend he was interested in a trade in which he had none, he might have just handed his best friend his wish. "Thanks, Pa." Pa ruffled his hair. "So now you know I've not got your future mapped out, you can just relax and enjoy this. You're doing me a huge favour, you know. When you get back, I'll catch you a dozen merkos, if you want." "Merkos?" Ma said, one eyebrow raised. "Not in here again, certainly not a dozen." "N-not a dozen, Ma." After all, the biggest litter he'd ever seen had been six babies. "Glad to hear it. They give a nasty bite, Ka-chi, I've never understood why you're so fascinated with keeping them. You be careful. You too, Reji. You're more likely to get bitten than Karik is, you're such a great oaf." Pa looked highly offended. "You're taking advantage of my wounded state, woman. Wait until I'm mended, I'll spank you black and blue." "And then I'll just dose your food with tirsel leaf, you idiot," she said, rapping Pa's head with a wooden spoon, but allowing him to steal a kiss as well. "Karik, there's something else we wanted to give you." "Huh?"

"Close your mouth, son, it makes you look stupid," his Pa teased. "You're going to be away for your birthday, although with any luck Kei and Arman will be with you to make it a good day, but we wanted to give you our gift now. I'm afraid it's nothing very special. Jena?" "Let me get it." Karik was wild with curiosity. Usually his birthdays were marked by something practical – a new knife one year, a book several times, or a belt that his Pa had cut and tanned himself. But with Pa laid up and his Ma so busy all the time, he couldn't think what they might have prepared – his father had already given him new gloves the week before, so it couldn't be that. Pa was just looking at him with an affectionate smile, giving nothing away. His Ma was back from the office in moments. "Put out your hand, Ka-chi." He did so, and into it was dropped a small polished stone on a string – no, not a string. He held it up – the cord was made of plaited strands of hair, dark and light. He looked at his mother questioningly. "That's all of us in that, my son. Your hair, your Pa's, mine. Because we're a family, all of us. Stronger together than apart." He stared at the smooth, slim cord, made of such fragile stuff, but braided and rebraided, it was as strong as any leather would be. "Thank you," he whispered as they each put an arm around him, hugging him close. In that moment, he couldn't have given a damn who had given birth to him. His Ma was the only mother he ever wanted. Thank you, Karik. I hope I never give you any reason to think otherwise. He nodded, finding it hard to imagine she ever could. "Wuh-what's the s-stone?" It was dark, not quite black and shaped like a large teardrop. It was smooth as glass to the touch – nothing like it was to be found near Ai-Albon. Pa held it up to the lamp light, and now Karik could see there were veins of colour in the dark brown, almost black stone – reds, purples, even a hint of green. "Comes from the Kislik Range. They mine these for jewellery, sell a lot of them to Andon – they call them tero stones. This isn't a valuable one, there's too much stone, not enough colour. I found it last time I went through, and thought of you, so I asked Rin to help me cut it down and polish it. I don't know why it's so prettily coloured – I thought maybe you could find out the answer for me." He lifted the pendant up and put it around Karik's neck. "There. Do you like it?"

"I l-love it. It's b-beautiful." It was the finest thing anyone had ever given him, and he placed his hand over it protectively. "C-can I wuh-wear it all the time?" "I'm sure you can," Ma said, smiling. "The stone is tough, and the hair string has a core of thread to stop it unravelling." "G-good, thuh-then I'll wuh-wear it always. Ee-even when I s-sleep." She laughed and patted his cheek. "You do that, Ka-chi. Then if anyone ever asks who are your parents, you point at that and say, there they are. Your parents, our son." "Yes," Karik said, agreeing completely. He wished he wasn't leaving. He would be counting the days until he could come home again.

He slept better than he thought he would, but when he stumbled down the stairs in the predawn, both his parents were up. They looked as if they hadn't got much sleep and Karik would have done anything to make them less worried. It was just too late to back out now. His Ma was making hot cakes, and his Pa poured him a glass of milk. "Now, you need to eat properly on the trail, son, even if you're too tired to feel hungry. You'll get fresh vegetables in the villages, make sure you eat those. If you get an injury, make sure you tell Risa and the same if you get sick. Better to know early than end up with a nasty surprise. Don't take on more than you can handle, tell Risa or Misek if you don't think you can do something – there's no room for heroics with loads this size, you understand?" "Yes, Pa. I'll be c-careful." "I know, son. I'm more concerned about Gyo than you." Ma set some hot cakes down in front of them. "Stop fussing, Reji, you're just making him worried. Misek and Risa know what they're doing, and they'll hook up with the other travellers too." "Yes, I know. Eat up now, Karik. You won't get hotcakes like this for a week at least, and even then it depends on who billets you in Ai-Beyto."

Karik nodded, spreading butter on his cakes and adding some honey. He noticed Pa didn't have much of an appetite. He really hoped they'd be all right without him. He finished the cakes his mother gave him, and she tried to press him to eat some more, but he knew he'd only get stomachache if he did. He thanked her politely, knowing she was trying to show her love for him with her cooking, and wishing there was something he could do for her in return. He put his hand over the stone pendant, hidden carefully under his shirt, and smiled a little – he would only have to look at it, to remember how much they loved him. At last, Pa got slowly to his feet. "All right, son. Give your Ma a kiss and let's be off. Risa won't want to waste any time." Karik obeyed – Ma hugged him fiercely as if she wasn't going to let him go at all. But all she said was, "You enjoy yourself, Karik. It's a big adventure with your best friend. And give my love to Kei and Arman – tell them to treat you right or I'll be after them." "Yes, Ma," Karik agreed solemnly – as if he would ever say such a thing to either man. But she knew that and wasn't serious. "I love you," he whispered into her ear. "I know, Ka-chi. Now off you go." He could see tears in her eyes again. He gave her one last hug and then picked up his packs, stacked neatly in the corner. One of his father's fire sprites lit the way up the street, where Karik could see the small lights of lamps up at the stables. Misek's family had turned out in force to see them off – his wife and daughter, Pijli and Nev, Banji and Myka and their two children, and the head of the family, Rin and his wife Meis. Meran gave Karik an uncertain smile and he grinned back to show there were no hard feelings. His Pa had told him he'd had that little talk with Meran, diplomatically suggesting that Karik would prefer to just be friends with her. She'd taken it well, so Pa had reported, to Karik's relief. Risa finally came over to them. "Everything all set, Risa-ki?" "Everything's fine, Reji. Hello, Karik – that's a fine coat, you'll need that for sure," he said, shivering a little in the dawn chill. "Got your gloves and scarf and waterproof? Can't go back for things, you know that."

"Y-yes. M-Ma gave you the m-medical kits?" "Yes, they're all stowed and so's the bedding. All I need is my crew," he said, grinning at Misek and Gyo who were being hugged by Pia and Keira. "Reji, I'm still going with two by two on this. I figured it was less boring for the boys and easier on the beasts." "It's up to you, Risa," Pa said peaceably. "You know the job. Two by two is fine until you get to the range, unless you get really foul weather. You look after my boy, you hear?" "Yes, I will. I'm glad to have you along, Karik. You looking forward to it?" "Y-yes," Karik lied, putting a smile on his face. "Good," Risa said, clapping his shoulder, obviously happy to believe what he wanted to hear. "Right, men, let's mount up. Reji, I'll send messages back, there's no need to worry about Karik." "I'm more worried about you, brat," Pa said. He pulled a small pouch out of his coat. "Now that's just a little spending money for Darshek, Karik. Ask Kei about the best way to use it – there's not enough to get into trouble with, I hope." Karik accepted the small leather sack with surprise. He'd seen coins a few times but had never used them. "Th-thank you, Pa, but I d-don't n-need it." His father just ruffled his hair. "Of course you do, son. You want to buy a pastry while you go sight-seeing, you need money. It's not like in the village. Now, on you get. Like your Ma said, you enjoy yourself." Karik gave him a careful hug, then threw his pack into the back of the wagon where Risa was stowing their belongings. He climbed up into the driving seat on the passenger side – he knew Risa would handle the driving, at least for the first few hours. Misek and Gyo were likewise mounting up on their own wagon. Risa cracked his whip and yelled to get his lead animals moving, and with roars from the beasts and the creaking groans of the heavily laden wagons, they started to move off at a slow walking pace. Karik turned to wave at his Pa, who was smiling cheerfully – but he knew it was forced. Still, he had to play his part too to make things easier for his father, and there was no point in making him worried. He put an equally bright smile on his own face. "Bye, Pa!"

"Good luck, son!" He kept looking a little longer, acknowledging the waves from Meran and Keira, but all he really wanted to see was Pa's face. "I hate this bit," Risa said quietly as the wagons rumbled on, the dawn sky gradually brightening into gorgeous pink and gold to their right. "The goodbyes. I miss them every time. It's the worst part of this job. Reji's the same – says it breaks his heart every time to leave you and your Ma behind. I think he'll give it up soon. A man can only do this job for so long before you can't bear leaving home any more. Reji's done it for twenty-six years. That's a long time. Too long." "Oh." Karik hadn't known that. If it was true, then he was glad, because he hated his Pa being away for months, and so did his Ma. His father had often talked about them joining him, but until now, it had only been on short trips to AiBeyto or to Ai-Tuek. Ironic that the moment he had finally got his wish, he himself hadn't been able to go. "Anyway, at least this trip I've got the three of you. We'll have a great time, Karik. It's not the most interesting time of year from the plant side of things, but I like travelling in the cold. It's easier on the beasts too, so long as we don't get too much rain." He was being unusually chatty and Karik figured Risa was trying to put him at his ease. It was all right – he liked Risa, and under the sometimes stern exterior, he had a perfectly good sense of humour. It wasn't his fault that Karik was already missing his parents.  

 

Chapter 4 Given his apprehension, Karik was surprised how enjoyable the trip was turning out to be. Risa quickly turned over driving duties to him to give him the experience of handling such a heavy load. "Mis and me will have to keep watch at night, Karik," he explained as they rode, Misek and Gyo a little way behind so they didn't have to eat their dust. "You lads will have to do the driving while we sleep in the wagons. Think you can manage that?" "Y-yes." Karik had done a lot of beast handling and driving, although never of a wagon this heavy before, or one joined in tandem with another. After a day or two he was already used to it, learning the way the wagon moved, and the beasts responded. It was tiring – but Karik was used to hard work. Already he was learning a lot about beast behaviour and the care of the animals pulling such heavy loads over long distances. He wondered if anyone had ever bothered to collect all the information about urs beasts in a single book. One could write a book just about the problems that the beasts had with their feet. The road was good – it had been a personal project of Arman's, Risa said, both to improve wagon and cart design, and to institute a programme of road improvement along Prijian lines. Travelling in the deep wet season was now possible, where it had not been before, and amazingly, a fast cart and good beasts could now make the entire journey from Darshek to Urshek in just under four weeks. Karik could tell that even if Risa didn't admire Arman for his general good qualities, he would be a personal hero for this achievement alone. The scenery was dull a lot of the time, although not as much as he feared – there was always just enough variety in the landscape, a sandstone outcrop, stands of trees, new crops, small herds of wild jombekers and here and there, the flash of activity that meant hisks were seeking cover. At each waterhole, he made a note of all the different tracks he found, even discovered the large markings of carcho feet a couple of times, although they never saw any, somewhat to his disappointment. Birds were everywhere, chasing mates, beginning to build nests for the upcoming breeding season, preying on small mammals – and occasionally on each other. There wasn't much time to write up his journal – he tried to do that for a half hour each night, working by lamplight – but he was able to press leaves, feathers, and bits of dry snake skin into it, and collect unusual stones, each of which reminded him clearly of where they had been when he'd collected it. He never rode with Gyo during the day, but he shared a bedroll and the shelter of the wagon with him at night – and there was always the evening campfire, easily his favourite time of the day. By then, they were all tired and needing food, rest

and to stretch, but they were never too tired to talk. The older men had the more exhausting role of course, since they insisted on taking the night time watch. Even taking naps during the day in the backs of the wagon didn't make up for it, but Misek and Risa claimed they didn't mind, and that they would catch up a little when they stopped in the villages. Sleeping on the bean sacks was, as his father had promised, surprisingly comfortable, and sharing them with Gyo let them talk as they were not able to do during the day. Gyo was enjoying himself. Having his father's undivided attention on this trip was obviously a real treat, and if Karik felt a little jealous of that, the fact he himself was being treated as such a necessary and valued part of the team was doing his own confidence a world of good. For the first time in his life, he was being treated as an adult with adult responsibilities by people other than his parents, and he liked it, liked it a lot. It also pleased him that Risa really did seem to enjoy his company, and listened to his views with solemn interest. Karik's stutter sometimes hardly made an appearance when he talked to the older man as they drove. It was thus something of a shock when they reached Ai-Beyto to find himself abruptly placed back in the role of a child, and a useless passenger – not by Risa and Misek, but by the people who greeted them, and who were to host them for the night. At least they didn't comment on his colouring, since most of them had seen him before on his previous visits. But it was galling that Gyo was deferred to as an equal member of the driving team simply because of his height, and Karik, who'd become used to being Risa's right hand man, was ordered about and called 'boy' as if he was six, not sixteen. His stammer came back worse than ever, and even the comfortable beds didn't make up for the humiliation. Karik could see Risa understood his feelings, but there wasn't anything that could be done except to just be on their way as soon as they could the following morning. As they left, they were joined by two men bringing two wagons from the village. The same thing happened at Ai-Kislik, except it sent four men and wagons with them. It made sense to share effort if possible, and the bean harvest was a particularly difficult time for traders. It made things easier for everyone, because there were more people to share the watch, more people to lend a hand when they damaged a wheel – it was fixed and replaced within two hours, hardly longer than their midday break. It meant more people around the fires at night, and more stories to hear, and Karik sat quietly and listened, happy to let other people carry the load of conversation. Karik's presence was cause for curious comment, and that led onto some discussions of the Prij and their habits which Karik found both fascinating and slightly horrifying.

That was all harmless enough, but it didn't stay that way. On the day they had passed the ruins of the old Prij fort and the graveyard that held hundreds of dead soldiers, the war was a natural topic to mull over as mugs of tea were sipped after the evening meal. It turned out that one of the drivers from Ai-Kislik, Edi, was a former hostage – but all the men remembered the war and the hostage taking in surprising clarity. When Edi learned that both Gyo and Karik's mothers had also been hostages, he was keen to talk about his experiences. Karik noticed that Misek and Risa hardly encouraged him, but to outright forbid the topic would have caused an argument which trail fellows couldn't afford. Unfortunately, Edi didn't seem to take the subtle hints to shut up, nor did his companions from his village. The experience of Ai-Beyto and Ai-Kislik had been similar to that which Karik's father and Misek had described. The more northern villages had had the most warning to get their people out safely, but it hadn't lessened anxieties, and they had had the longest to wait for the advancing Prij army. "Of course, we'd heard about Ai-Darbin by then so none of us were going to put up a fight," Edi said, sipping his tea, his companions nodding. "Wuh-what happened at Ai...Ai-D-Darbin?" "That boy was killed by General Arman. I thought everyone knew about that," Edi said, glancing at Misek. Karik didn't miss the older man's frown, and if Edi had been more perceptive, he would have known to leave this alone. But he didn't. "Young fellow, about your age in fact, threw a mining explosive at the army, killed some soldiers. He was executed there and then by that Prijian bastard, right in front of the whole clan – in front of his Ma and Pa, so I heard. No one was going to fight back after that." Karik stared at Edi in shock. It was one thing to know Arman had killed as a soldier – quite another to know he'd killed a young boy in cold blood. Gyo cut across his thoughts. "Were many other people killed?" "You know, that was the funny thing about that war. We had the big battle here at Ai-Kislik and a lot of Prij died then, and then a few more further south – but apart from that boy, the ten hostages who were murdered were the only other Darshianese who died apart from the soldiers at Ai-Kislik and Fort Treyk." "Muh-murdered?" "Karik, I'm not sure this is something your parents would want you to be listening to...." Misek said, but Edi cut him off.

"And why in hells not, Misek? If it was good enough for me and the rest of us to have to go through all that, and for those people from Ai-Vinri to die, why shouldn't the boy hear about it? It was his people who did it, after all." Karik flushed to the roots of his hair and would have walked off if it wouldn't have been seen as a childish reaction. He just sat there staring at the fire and avoiding all eye contact as Risa stood up and glared at Edi. "He's not a Prij. Karik is as Darshianese as you or me, Edi. Don't blame him for his parents or his looks, and you've no right at all to blame him for anything to do with the war." "Edi, I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't raise this in front of the lads," Misek said in a calmer tone. "Oh, so it's all right for me and the others to be hauled off to Utuk to save your lousy hides, and to be beaten and attacked and starved, be forced to watch ten people executed like curs, but you don't want to soil your precious boy's ears with it?" Edi was on his feet now, his temper roused. "You were sitting on your arse all nice and safe in Ai-Albon, and we nearly died – what gives you the right to tell me what to do or say? You think because you've got a Prij with you, that makes you something grand? When it was his people that raped that boy's Ma, made her watch her friends take swords through the heart?" Risa went to throw a punch at Edi, but Misek grabbed him from behind, and fortunately, Edi's friends had more sense than he did, restraining him from responding physically. Gyo made a distressed noise as he scrambled up and ran off into the dark. "Gyo!" Misek yelled as he struggled with his brother. "Karik, go after him!" But Karik was already on his feet and running after his friend. "Gyo! Stop!" His friend hadn't run far – it was simply too dark to do that – and had come to rest by a tree near where the beasts were tethered. Karik found him pounding furiously at a tree, hitting it over and over again with clenched fists. Karik dragged him away from the tree into a hug. "Don't, Gyo, it's all r-right." "Why, Karik?" Gyo yelled. Why did all that happen to Ma?" "I don't kn-know, Gyo." Nothing Karik said to him seemed to help, and so it was with relief that he felt a hand on his shoulder, and turned to find Misek there with a lamp. He handed the light to Karik and then took his son into his arms. Karik stepped back, feeling

somewhat in need of his Ma and a hug too, but trying not to show how angry and upset he was because there was enough of that going around already. "Karik." He turned again and found Risa there, his mouth turned down in a grim line. "I'm sorry, lad. What he said – that was cruel and wrong." Karik moved away from Misek who was trying to talk to his son – Gyo was still yelling in a muffled way against his father's shoulder. Risa followed, and put his hand on Karik's shoulder. "Was it t-true? The muh-murders?" "Yes, so far as I know from what Kei and Jena have ever said. But just because he went through that doesn't give him the right to blame you or slander you. You weren't even born when all that happened." "But M-Ma? She s-saw?" Suddenly the idea of his mother being forced to watch something so horrible was more than he could stand, and even though he tried to hold them back, tears started to spill down his cheeks faster than he could scrub them away. Risa pulled him into a hug, and Karik hid his face on his sympathetic shoulder. "Karik, I know it's upsetting, and by the gods, Edi needs a kick in the arse, but it was more than sixteen years ago. People have healed, moved on. I know – I was there too. It's harder for the hostages, but not all of them have held onto their anger. Your Ma hasn't, Pia hasn't – Kei hasn't, I know that." "Ah-Arman was a m-murderer?" Risa stepped back a little, but kept a hand on his shoulder. "Karik, your father explained that. He was a soldier. From what I heard, there were circumstances in Ai-Darbin that Arman can tell you better than me. Arman has never lied to me or anyone I know. Ask him. But don't judge until you do. Don't borrow Edi's grudge." Karik nodded, rubbing his eyes. That was only fair. At that moment, Misek and Gyo parted, and came over to them. Misek's hand resting protectively on his son's back. "G-Gyo? Yuh-you all ri-right?" His friend gave him a shaky smile. "I'm all right, Ka-chi. I just...." He brushed his arm against his eyes. "Just to kill people like that.... It's awful," he whispered.

"Yes, it is, son," Misek said gently. "Listen, those bastards can organise the watch tonight. I'll share the wagon with Gyo – I want to be with my boy. Risa, you look after Karik." "Sure, Mis." Misek went back to speak to the other traders. Karik was glad he wouldn't have to talk to them again that night. "R-Risa? C-can wuh-we share with M- Misek too?" "I can't see why not, if there's room. Gyo?" "Please, uncle Risa, I'd like that." It took a little rearranging, and it was a bit of a squash, but there was an undeniable amount of comfort from lying close to Gyo and the others that night. Karik felt Gyo shaking. "G-Gyo?" Nothing for a moment, then Gyo fumbled about and then blew his nose. "I miss Ma and Keira," he whispered back, sounding blocked up. "I kn-know." All Karik could do was to comfort his friend, and hope the whole situation looked less overwrought in the morning.

Of course it did. It had to, since they had to spend at least four more days with the men from the other two villages unless they wanted to make a dramatic gesture, and Risa needed to keep on good terms with these people since he would see them all the time in his job. Edi apologised rather clumsily to Karik for any offence given, and Karik accepted it, even though he knew that in his heart Edi still considered him a Prij and partly to blame for what had happened to him and his friends. Misek kept Gyo away from the others, and Risa hovered protectively around Karik, but it wasn't really necessary. What Risa didn't realise was that Karik was all too used to attitudes like Edi's, and since the talk with his Pa, even the shocking revelations about the hostages' deaths could be put under the heading of all the other bad things that had happened. Descending the Kislik range took three days, and much of it was tedious after the excitement of seeing the distant ocean for the first time. They finally reached the bottom of the range with a couple of hours of daylight left. The other traders

decided they would use the time to move their wagons closer to Darshek city. Misek and Risa decided that they preferred to camp where they were and make the final leg in the morning. Karik thought this was more for his and Gyo's sake, and wished Risa would just do as he always did. It rained that night, and Karik wondered if Risa would have cause to regret the decision to delay, but the morning was bright and dry once again, far warmer than up on the plain, almost more like early summer than mid-winter. There was a spring in all their steps, even those of the beasts, knowing they were nearing journey's end. The return would be a little faster, so Risa said. "The hardest bit's over," he said with satisfaction. "But you boys have made it so much easier – well done," he said to them as they finished their breakfast. Gyo grinned. Now they had shed the others he seemed lighter in heart, and Misek had been very patient and kind with him. Karik had always liked the man, but after this trip, he could see why his father considered Misek to be his closest friend, second possibly only to Kei, but only just. Even if Gyo's real father had been a Ruler of Darshek, he could not have had a better or a gentler man for his Pa. Except for Karik's own Pa, of course, and Karik wasn't prepared to give him up for anyone – not even Gyo. The rain clouds came back mid-morning, and the last two hours of their journey into Darshek were marked by showers. Karik barely noticed – there was so much to see. So many houses and farms, all the fields of strange crops and fruit trees, the people in brightly coloured clothing hurrying past on foot or in small carts being drawn by strange looking, long-legged animals that Risa said were jesigs. "They started to come to Darshek after the war. Reji says he wants to breed them in his old age," he said with a chuckle. They were pretty animals, Karik thought, long-necked and graceful, with short manes and glossy pelts in many shades from palest grey and blonde, to deepest black. He wanted to ride one very badly, and wondered if he would have the chance. But the jesigs were just one of the many new sights. Everywhere was so green and lush, the thick grass looking almost tasty enough for a human to eat. He'd never seen a landscape looking so fertile, not even Ai-Albon after a good summer rain. But the people – so many of them, all so busy. And so many huge buildings, storehouses and workshops, far bigger than any he'd ever seen. And as they drew closer to the city, a couple of odd structures with fierce-looking statues outside of them. "Wuh-what are they?" Karik asked, pointing.

Risa grimaced. "Oh, those are Prijian temples," he said disdainfully. "So they can worship their horrible gods." "Wo-worship?" Karik had only heard the word used among friends, or by his parents, to mean to like something very much. "They think if they pray to their gods, they'll have good luck." Risa shrugged. "It's all a load of rot if you ask me. Kei thinks they're really funny." Karik could only stare. The statue they were passing looked truly frightening, an enormous man carrying a huge bird poised for attack. There was an unpleasant smell coming from the temple. He didn't dare ask what it was, but he suspected it wasn't anything he wanted to know about. He was still feeling a little apprehensive about meeting Arman again, but only a little, and he was happy that the weeks of travelling were over. But they still weren't done, and as Misek had warned, they still had to deliver their loads. They drove down to the docks, where Gyo and Karik frankly boggled at the huge ships waiting to be loaded with cargo, the people, the animals, and the smells. He hadn't realised air could be so...busy. The worst stink he'd ever experienced up to then was a rotting jombeker carcass he'd found once. The docks were worse because it wasn't a single nasty smell, it was dozens all mixed together. "Is there s-something dead?" he asked Risa, who only laughed. "No, lad – just lots and lots of cargo from all over, and fruit going a little off. Someone needs to shift their stock." Risa directed them to a huge warehouse where their companions from the trail were already half-way done with their unloading. There were plenty of men to help, but Gyo and Karik were pressed into service too. It took hours, and they still then had to deliver the wagons and beasts to a huge public stable for safekeeping. Gyo was drooping in the humid heat and with tiredness by the time that was done. "How far to Kei's house?" he asked, hefting his pack and bedroll. "Oh, about four miles," Misek said cheerfully. "They live right in the city itself, not far from the Rulers' house and the academy. Pleasant little stroll, nothing more." "Oh, Pa," Gyo whined a little. "I can't walk that far today."

Risa grinned. "He's teasing, Gyo. It's not even two miles and we'll hitch a lift anyway. Come on, there are always carts and wagons going that way." True to his word, they succeeding in hailing an empty cart that had just taken a load of melons to the docks. Risa and Misek chatted to the driver up on the driving seat, while Karik and Gyo rode in the back. Already they had seen many Prij, and some darker skinned people with slanted eyes who Misek said were from Andon. It seemed like people from all over Periter lived in Darshek. Certainly no one gave Karik a second look – for the first time in his life, he was nothing special. He liked that feeling a lot. "Everything's so tall," Gyo said in an awed voice. "Look!" "That's the academy," Risa said as they looked at the huge white stone and brick building set right on the harbour side. "Where Kei works. And there's the Rulers' House – there's a Ruler right there, wearing the dark red robes. See? Over there, getting into a carriage." The boys goggled – this was one of the most powerful people in Darshian, people that villagers on the plains would never see unless they came to the city. "He looks pretty old," Gyo said doubtfully. The driver chuckled. "Oh, that's Lord Meki. He's getting on a bit. The others are younger than him though. Right, men, this is where I have to let you off, I'm going south, and you want that direction," he said, pointing east. "Know where you're going?" "Yes, we do. Thanks for the ride." "Any time. Enjoy your stay!" They had to walk about half a mile, through a pretty garden that Misek called a 'park', along well-made streets that were being swept clear of manure as they watched, and finally along a quiet road of houses. "Here we are," Risa said. "I wonder if Kei's home yet...." The question had no sooner left his lips than the front door opened and there stood uncle Kei, grinning hugely. "What in hells kept you?" he joked as he walked down the short path to greet them, Misek dropped his pack and let Kei pull him into a crushing hug. Risa was next and then Kei looked at Gyo. "Gods, Misek, what are you putting in the water down south! You're enormous, lad."

Gyo grinned as Kei hugged him. "I'll be nearly as tall as you one day," he said. "That you might be, but you still have Arman to beat. And here's Karik." Kei pulled him close. His shirt smelled faintly of nitre weed and Karik wondered what he'd been doing. "How are you, Ka-chi?" he asked kindly. "I'm fuh-fine." "And that good-for-nothing father of yours?" "S-sore. But he's all r-right." "Glad to hear it." Kei kept his arm around Karik's shoulders as he waved them towards his front door. "Well, don't just stand there, come inside. Take your shoes off, we've got these stupid floors." The house was like none Karik had ever seen, and seemed huge, at least from the outside. Kei called out as they walked in and began to unlace their boots. "Pira? The trouble's arrived!" A door opened ahead of them, and a grey-haired woman came out. She seemed to be even older than Sira or Meis. "Welcome, welcome. I'm Pira, and don't any of you start that shouting business, not like this rude creature." Kei abandoned Karik to go and cuddle her. "Sorry, Pira. Gyo, Karik, this is Pira, the lovely lady who keeps us both under control, fed and clean. We don't know what we'd do without her." A friend, Karik wondered? Kei seemed very fond of her. "N-nice to muh-meet you, P-Pira." "You're Karik? Kei told me what a good-looking lad you were," she said, taking his hand. Huh, Karik thought. No doubt Kei had actually told her to expect a blond short-arse with a stutter. "I bet you could all do with tea and sweet cakes." "Oh, yes," Risa said with feeling. "Kei, can we dump our packs and sit? The lads are tired and so am I." "Of course, Risa-ki. You're in the usual room – all of you, I hope you don't mind." "Not at all, Kei. It'll just be good to sleep indoors again."

Kei lent them all soft slippers for wearing in the house, and once these were put on, led the way down a polished, wooden-floored corridor to a large room with two big beds in it. "I'll let you lot fight over who sleeps with who, just don't try and crawl in with me and Arman, he doesn't like to share." "And I don't like to listen to you snore, so that's fine," Misek said tartly. "How is he? And where is he?" Kei didn't pause as he helped them arrange their packs. "Oh, he's busy as usual. He's been helping them with the harbour redevelopment. You know Lady Jilki died? It was her project, really, and he's been picking up the pieces. He'll be home before dark, or he should be." "So how come you're here?" Misek asked. "And how in hells did you know we would be here this afternoon?" Kei grinned and tapped his temple. "Ah, I have friends in high places. You'll meet some of them while you're here, I hope. Risa, show the boys where to wash up, and then come through to the kitchen." Risa took them to the washroom, and showed them where the earth closet was. It was a long house with many rooms, all with closed doors. As they passed a window, Risa pointed out Kei's garden. "You'll be interested in that, Karik. He's making a special study of moulds. Right up your street." His friend was making gentle fun, but Karik's interest was immediately triggered. His Ma was always talking about leaf and other moulds, how they were being used to fight infection – that must be what Kei was working on. Karik knew that his Ma and uncle Kei were wrote back and forth about medical matters, and they talked often via Ma's friend, Neka. She must have told Kei they had arrived. After they had relieved themselves and washed hands, faces and necks, they followed Risa to the large kitchen which smelled wonderfully of baking and made Karik instantly homesick for Sira's cooking. Kei greeted them warmly and told them to sit down, before putting a huge pot of tea and mugs down on the big table which, just like the one in Karik's home, was where food was prepared and eaten. So far, apart from the size of the house, it didn't seem Kei lived all that grandly. More of Karik's unease slipped away. This was just Kei and Arman – he'd known them all his life, seen them every year of his life. Any difficulties about Arman's past – or Karik's own – would surely be easily sorted out.

Kei slipped in next to Karik on the long bench seat. "So, tell me about the trip. Any excitement?" "Nothing, except a broken wheel outside Ai-Kislik," Risa said, taking a cake from the plate Pira set in front of them and giving her his thanks for it. Karik wondered why Risa hadn't mentioned Edi. Kei turned to him. "Well, Kachi, how did you find your first trading trip?" He set his mug down. "Hard wuh-work," he said emphatically. Kei laughed. "I bet it was, and Reji sure picked the worst run possible to get himself injured for. How did he manage that, Risa-ki?" "I wasn't there, ask young Karik." "Well?" "The b-beast was ll-lame and acting wuh-weird. W-we tr-tried to catch it, but it k-kicked Pa in the knee. Then it ki-kicked him in the s-side." Kei winced. "Oh dear. So it was sick – that explains it." "Not just sick," Gyo said. "Ka-chi, tell him about that gall." Karik had almost forgotten he had it with him to show Kei. "Y-yes. A ll-lump in its br-brain. I br-brought it for you." "Oh?" Kei immediately looked interested. "Well, as soon as we finish here, you can show me in the workroom. I'm sure Pira doesn't want lumps of beast brain all over her table." "How wise of you to work that out, Kei," she said dryly. "Everyone got enough tea and cakes? Supper won't be until Arman gets back." Everyone nodded that they had enough. "Come and sit, Ma," Kei said, squishing up to give her room. "Don't call me 'Ma', Kei, I bless the fact everyday I didn't have to raise you," she said, but smiled to show it was just a joke. Misek grinned. "I see she's got the measure of you already, Kei."

Kei sighed. "I'm bullied all day, at the academy, here, Arman's always so horrible to me." Risa hooted with laughter, and Pira showed frank disbelief at this statement. "It's true. Only today I came to have lunch with him and the wretched man cut it short to go to a meeting with Lord Peika. I ask you, isn't that mean?" "Poor, poor Kei," Misek said. "Best come back to Ai-Albon so we can treat you right. Or come to the herbarium, I could do with another hand." "Speaking of which, how is it? And will Pia manage all right with you gone?" "It's fine and of course, you idiot – would I leave my wife on her own? Her brothers are going to stay, and Reji said he would spend a week or so with her and Keira. I think Lori and Peit were going to drop in when they were next out hunting. We sorted everything before I left and I should be home before the next major batch of transplanting. I've got you two pounds of nern seeds." "Oh good, we really needed those." Karik looked at him, and Kei explained. "New painkiller, we think. It seems to be good for women's monthly pains, and I'm trying it on a couple of patients who've had broken arms that still ache." Karik nodded. That was Kei's other big thing – pain killers. Pijn was just too strong and too dangerous for so many things, especially chronic pain. "C-can you gr-grow nern pl-lants here?" "We're going to try. Now, Gyo, Karik, tell me about the trip." Kei listened as Gyo enthused about the joys of driving the wagons and the little dramas of the journey – still not mentioning the argument with the other traders, Karik noted. That was fine – if his friend wanted to keep it private, especially in front of Pira who'd they only just met, that was understandable. Risa and Misek added a little more detail as they consumed several mugs of tea and ate all of the delicious cakes. Pira was a wonderful cook, and clearly enjoyed watching them eat. But finally Kei stood up. "Well, come and show me this lump, Karik. Gyo, do you feel like helping Pira? She could do with some pots washed." "Sure, Kei." "We won't be long," Kei assured Risa and Misek. "I just have a feeling you won't want to smell what I'm about to look at."

Risa pulled a face, and Misek chuckled. "You guessed right, Kei. I had enough of that when your father was alive." At Karik's enquiring look, he added, "Kei's Pa used to make the most amazing stinks. So did his Ma, come to think of it." "All in the nature of scientific investigation, something I'm sure Karik understands," Kei said haughtily, but dropping Karik a wink which made him grin. "Come on, the workshop is at the back so I don't make the house reek." "Mind you don't do that now, young man," Pira said, wagging a spoon at him. "Don't you dare spoil my cooking." "No, Ma." Kei put his hand on Karik's shoulder as they walked to the bedroom to fetch the wax-sealed pot that Karik had the gall stored in. "What did you use, nitre distillation?" Karik nodded. "Hmmm, I was afraid of that – you really need alcohol for storing flesh, although I don't blame Jena for not wanting to waste her stocks. I suspect this is going to be rather horrible." Despite this dire warning, Kei was still completely cheerful as he led the way towards the back of the house. "It's a bit of a mess, I'm afraid," he said, pushing the door open. Karik fell in love the moment he saw the room. There were plant being dried, pots with concoctions steeping in them, books and notes, scales for measuring seeds.... Never in his life had he felt so instantly at home. He made a beeline straight to where something was dripping slowly through fine cloth. "Wuhwhat's this?" "I macerated some quem leaves with chalk. I want to see if it's more effective than uyris flowers in lung fever for easing breathing." Kei let Karik have a sniff. It was pretty disgusting, and Kei smiled at Karik's expression. "Yes, that's the problem. If you give it to someone who's already ill, you just make them want to throw up, although it does ease the breathing very well. I'm playing with different combinations. Pira had a bad cold a few weeks ago and it made me determined to find something to help prevent colds getting worse. Elderly people shouldn't get lung fever as often as they do." "Wuh-was s-she very sick?" Kei nodded. "For a week or so I was really worried. She's only sixty three, but she's had a very bad year. She didn't need this on top of everything else."

"A f-friend?" "Yes, of course – though she's our housekeeper really. Poor lady, she lost her husband six months ago and she couldn't keep their tanning business running, since they have no children and she couldn't manage on her own. All he left her were debts, it seemed, and she had to ask for charity from the state. Lady Nera asked if we could offer her a place to live and do some easy work, and we were glad to help." Karik frowned. "A s-servant? Like Ah-Arman?" Kei grinned. "Not quite. Neither of us would ever order her about as Lord Meki does with Arman, and even if she couldn't work at all, she would have a home with us. She's been very happy about you all coming to visit – she does love company. She gets rather lonely and depressed, and we can't be here all the time. I hope you'll be nice to her while you're here." "Of c-course." The idea of Kei having a servant seemed rather odd to Karik but Pira seemed to be more like an adopted family member. Kei was unsealing the pot with a sharp knife, but the faint hiss of gas that he released didn't bode well. "As I thought, it's gone rotten. Let's take it outside – I'll have to put it in the midden straight away or it will make everything in here stink." He kept the bung firmly in place as he carried it out to the garden where there was just barely enough daylight left to see what they were doing. Kei took it to the compost heap and tipped out the contents of the pot. Immediately there was the most appalling smell, bad enough to make Karik almost gag. Worse than that, the gall had simply turned to an unidentifiable sludge. Kei poked it with a stick and then covered it with some plant litter which cut down the smell immediately. "So much for that. Can you describe it?" Karik did so as much as he could and Kei nodded. "Interesting – I've seen that a couple of times in jesigs – never heard of it in urs beasts before. How long had Reji had that animal?" "He tr-traded it th-ree months ago." "Ah. Then I bet you'll find it came from Urshek originally, or near there. The lump is a very slow growing cyst caused by a parasite you get in Kuprij and in the wettest areas of the south. The worm gets into the brain and makes the gall which you've seen. Sends the animals mad, makes them very aggressive and

dangerous. The Prij have a lot of problems in lemuls with such things too – jombekers aren't quite as prone to them but it's still a problem. I think there are some letters at the academy about these infections – perhaps you could look at them before you go?" "I'd ll-like that." "Good," Kei said, beaming at him. "So, how are you finding being away from home for the first time? Homesick?" "All the t-time," Karik admitted. "Wuh-wish Pa was here." "Yes, I know. I'm sure he didn't want to send you away on your own for your first visit to Darshek. When I came up here to do my training, I cried myself to sleep for weeks. Even when I moved up here with Arman, I missed everyone so much." Kei smiled. "That's why I go back every summer. That was the deal I cut with the academy – I had to be allowed to go back to the village once a year if they wanted me. But I still miss your parents and Myka and Fedor and everyone else. I'm just glad I see Reji and Risa every so often. It's so good to have you all here, Karik. I've really been looking forward to it." The way Kei said it, Karik knew it had to be true. "I wuh-wanted to come, only P-Pa...." He stopped. He didn't want to complain about something that wasn't his father's fault. "Yes, unfortunate, that. Never mind, Karik, you'll be home soon enough and then you and he can swap traders' tales. Oh, before it gets too dark, let me show you something." He walked over to a bed and crouched down in front of a small shrub. "Recognise this?" he asked, touching the plant with his palm. Even in the gathering gloom, Karik knew what it was. "That's...." "Yes, the sample you sent us. It grows amazingly fast if you give it enough water. Since Jena didn't have a name for it, we called it 'kariken' so now you have a plant species named after you." "R-really?" Karik stared at the nondescript bush. He had found it growing half shaded by a boulder, and since he'd not seen it before, he'd told his Ma. It was she who'd picked the leaves and collected the seeds. Karik had found more plants like it, but hadn't thought it was anything remarkable. It wasn't common and tended to like damp environments where water ran off rocks.

"Yes, really. We've managed to get it to grow in Utuk and in Urshek – I think it's probably more suited to wetter climates, but it seems adaptable." "Wuh-why?" Kei understood what he was really asking. "Because I wanted to see if we could propagate it for one thing – and it turns out that if you made an infusion of the dried leaves, and mix a little nitre weed with it, it becomes an excellent foot wash for prevention of fungus. We've just ordered it used in the army. So soldiers all over Darshian are going to be feeling a lot more comfortable, thanks to you." If Kei had suddenly announced the Rulers wanted him, Karik, to join their ranks, he couldn't have felt more proud. His Ma would be so pleased. "I'm g-glad," was all he said. The bush looked so ordinary – the only thing about it was that its leaves were dark red, almost crimson in certain lights, but they were spindly and sparse, at least on the specimen he'd seen near the village. This one was much more lush. "I thought you'd be pleased. If only everyone in the villages on the plain had your eye, Karik, we could probably solve all the ills in Periter." Kei stood up and then seemed to hesitate. "Karik...everything was all right on the journey up here? I only ask because Gyo seemed a little uncomfortable about something, and so did Risa." Karik tended to forget that Kei was a soul-toucher – of course he'd noticed something had been kept from him. "You lads didn't have an argument, did you?" Karik hesitated too, but then shook his head. "N-no." "Feel like telling me about it?" "I-if you wuh-want." "Then come into the workshop, I need to seal up that filtration I've made anyway." It was now almost completely dark, and Kei used a little sparking device to set the lamp alight – Karik hardly ever saw one used in his home, of course, with his Pa around. Then Kei lit two other larger lamps which illuminated the worktable efficiently. He began to fuss with the filtration equipment and decanting the dark liquid. "Just tell me what you're comfortable with, Karik."

Because it was Kei, and because he knew Kei never judged or got angry, Karik found it easier than he expected it to be. Kei listened in complete silence, just nodding from time to time as Karik slowly explained – he decided not to mention what he'd heard about Arman. When he was done, Kei still stayed quiet, apparently lost in thought, although his hands were fiddling with the quill he'd used to label the bottle of filtrate. "It's odd how these things come up again," he finally said in a low voice. "I forget about the time in Utuk for days at a time, then something – a voice, something I read, even a colour or a smell – will bring it back as if it was just yesterday I was a hostage. Don't be too hard on Edi, Karik. He had a very bad time of it, and I know it might seem cruel of him to bring up... the deaths, but it's not something any of us can ever forget." He rubbed his chest a little. "I think I need to have a talk with Gyo about what happened to his mother, and about the war. I know Pia finds it hard to speak about it. Does Jena talk to you?" Karik shook his head. "It m-makes her sad." "Yes, it probably does. Some people cope by talking, others not." Kei looked at him with a wry smile. "And I understand you want to talk to Arman while you're up here." Ma must have told him, but Karik wished she hadn't. He'd almost decided it wasn't something he was going to bring up after all. But since Kei had raised it, Karik supposed it would have to be done. "Wuh-will he t-tell me?" "He might. A lot depends on how he thinks you'll deal with it." He placed his quill down carefully and began to straighten the papers on the table, carefully placing slips of paper in his books and closing them. "But tell me this – do you want to know who your blood mother and father are?" Karik knew the answer to this question was important but all he could say was, "I d-don't know." Kei nodded as if it had been what he expected. "Just as Arman doesn't know if he wants to tell you. It's been much on his mind, Karik, what to say to you. My advice is to be patient. Arman doesn't do well when pushed, and this is a subject on which he finds it impossible to be entirely calm. I think you're old enough now to know adults don't always know the answers to everything. I certainly don't," he added with a smile. "Tell me, what do you think of these flowers? Have you seen anything like these in your wanderings?"  

 

Chapter 5 Arman walked up the path to his home, and wished he didn't know he had a house full of visitors to greet him. Neka had sent him Kei's message that he knew Misek and the others were at the docks, and that he would be going back early to help Pira prepare. Arman would have liked to have joined him and would certainly like to be able to spend some quiet time with him this evening. There had been an unusually large number of fraught interactions over the harbour improvements today, to the point where the usually genial and placid Lord Peika had actually shouted at one of the architects to get out of his sight or he would wring his pissing neck. Not that Arman could blame the Ruler – the architect was being about as irritating as it was possible to be – but it just showed how short tempers had become after Lady Jilki's death. Colonel Jiv was doing his best, but he had so much to absorb before he could really become an effective replacement. Sighing, Arman opened his front door and shed his cloak and his boots. He could hear voices in the kitchen and so headed in that direction. He found Misek, Risa and Gyo all helping Pira prepare supper. Misek came over and clasped his hand warmly. Arman returned his greeting with real affection – Misek was one of his favourite people, and one of Kei's dearest friends. "How was the trip?" he asked as Risa also shook his hand. "Very good. Even with all that winter rain, the road was fine." "Excellent." Arman made a point of checking with traders from the plains that his road improvements and the maintenance programme were continuing to be effective. So far, they were. "And how are you, Gyo?" The boy had stood when Arman came in – gods, had he grown so much in just five months? "I'm fine, Arman." "You look it. I see Pira's put you to work," he added with a smile at her. "Not me, that lazy Kei set them to it and then escaped all the chores," she said in mock reproof. "Ah. Then I'll find him and chastise him for you, mistress Pira. Where is he?" "Out in the workroom. The other lad had something nasty to show him, didn't want to make my kitchen smell." "Oh?"

"A gall from the brain of the beast that kicked in Reji's ribs," Misek explained. "Karik brought it all the way from Ai-Albon to show Kei." "An unusual gift – most people would bring sweetmeats," Arman said with a straight face. Risa grinned. "However, knowing Kei, I'm sure he prefers the gall. I'll go fetch them and you can have your revenge for him abandoning you." "Dinner will be just half an hour, Arman," Pira called as he left the room. Good, he was hungry. Pira had already lit the hall lamps, lighting the corridor with a soft yellow glow. He walked to the end and opened the door of Kei's workroom. "Oh, hello, Arman," his lover greeted him cheerfully. "You're late." "I'm sorry, I had to stop Peika killing a damn architect and then he needed to blow steam at me for a few minutes." Kei came over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Lord Peika wanted to kill someone?" "Technically I was going to hold the man down while Peika strangled him. Not a court in the land would have convicted us, I'm sure. Hello, Karik." "Huh-hello, Ah-Arman," the boy said, looking a little apprehensive. "What's this I hear about you presenting Kei with bits of dead animal? A strange way to show affection, I must say." He was only joking, but immediately regretted it as a slow flush crept over Karik's fair cheeks. Kei nudged Arman in the ribs and not gently. "Don't be mean, Arman. It's actually something quite interesting – first report of a grass parasite in an urs beast brain. I'm hoping it's an isolated case – those things are damn hard to get rid of." "Oh – you're right, that is interesting." In parts of Kuprij, on the smaller islands, they were a major pest and had to be dealt with by stringent culling and grass burning. "Misek said it was from the beast that attacked your father?" "Y-yes. It wuh-went m-m...." Karik stopped, obviously frustrated by being unable to get the word out, his face even redder than before. "I've seen jesigs suddenly turn quite ferocious because of these cysts," Arman said, trying to pretend the boy's stutter was unimportant. "Kei, we'll probably

need to let the villages know to watch out for the parasite, and to make sure that all meat is well-cooked." "They do that anyway," Kei said, sounding distracted. He laid a hand on Karik's shoulder. "Why don't you find Gyo? Arman and I will join you in a few minutes, and then we can have supper." Karik nodded and slid quickly away from Kei's grasp. He bobbed a quick nod at Arman, and then scurried out. Kei waited until the door closed and then he sighed. "Damn, his stammer almost disappeared for a while there, and then you come in and make that stupid remark...." He aimed a cuff at Arman's head. "You can't tease him like that, you idiot." "You do," Arman protested. "He's not made of glass." Kei shook his head at him. "I'm not you. And right now, after the trip and with what happened to Reji and everything else...my love, you forget how intimidating you can be to people, and since you're the one who can unlock the secret of his past, he's feeling rather nervous of you anyway. Just be gentle with him," he said, laying his hand on Arman's shoulder and then kissing his cheek. "They met up with Edi from Ai-Kislik. He made some accusations, told Karik and Gyo some unpleasant facts. I gather it upset Gyo more than Karik, or at least, Karik is mature enough to deal with it better, but it's very unfortunate. Gyo didn't need it on top of the recent news, and Karik hasn't got his father with him to help smooth things over for him." "I'm sorry," Arman said, and meant it. He hadn't wanted to hurt the boy's feelings. "I know." Kei slid his arms around Arman's waist. "Anyway... it's his birthday tomorrow. Is that a good time to talk to him, perhaps?" "I'm not convinced there is a good time, Kei. But I'll make time for him tomorrow in the afternoon. Bring them for lunch at the Rulers' House and I'll speak to him afterwards. If you can get the others to do something else...?" "I'll arrange it. Thank you, Arman. The sooner it's done, then the boys can relax and if there's any problem, we have time to deal with it before they leave." Arman nodded – that was exactly his thought on the subject, not that he really wanted to do this at all. "Sorry about today," he said. "All I can say is that our architects are lucky they're dealing with me and Peika and Meki – if it was Kita, they'd all be dead by now."

"If they continue to run you ragged like this, I might have to consider bundling them off to Utuk for her to deal with," Kei said seriously. "I'm certainly going to tell Lord Meki off when I see him. You're not the only person he can call on, and if you are, then he needs to look to his organisation." "I'm all right, Kei. I'm used to it, after all." "Well, I'm damn well not. I refuse to lose you to bureaucracy. You came north looking for happiness, and happiness you shall have." Arman couldn't help but smile at Kei's fierce expression. "I am happy," he said quietly. "Every day I come home to you. What man has more?" "Well, for one – me," Kei said, his expression becoming impish. "Now come along and be pleasant. I know you can do it, if pressed." "If pressed," Arman agreed, letting himself be tugged along by his hand. Despite Kei's protest, he knew perfectly well he had the best of the deal, and he wouldn't want it any other way.

Now he'd been alerted to the need for extra caution, Arman did what he should have done before he opened his mouth, and paid attention to how the two boys had grown and changed since he'd last seen them in the summer. Gyo had put on height, but was still rather young for his age, Arman thought – the natural result of a rather isolated existence, he supposed. Still a gentle soul, rather in need of his father's attention which Misek gave freely, and also looking to Karik for a little guidance too, which was new. At least, Arman amended, he'd not observed it before. Karik seemed to have matured a good deal, although he was less obviously physically changed. Despite the slight growth of fine hairs on his upper lip, he remained almost girlishly pretty, with large, intelligent eyes, and the fine bone structure that was entirely his mother's. He had nothing at all in his looks of his father, for which Arman was thankful – but being faced with a masculine version of Mayl was only slightly less disconcerting. Karik was going to grow up to be even more handsome than Mayl was beautiful, and even if he grew no taller, he would still be considered an attractive man.

At least he would if he ever got over this terrible stutter. Arman noticed that it did indeed get better or worse depending on who spoke to him and on what topic, and thought it might be worth asking his father if anyone in Utuk had ever successfully treated such a bad stammer. Arman had known boys in the nobility who'd stuttered and who had conquered it so that they could take up their senatorial positions. If Karik was ever to make something of himself, Arman thought with a grimace, he would need to overcome this disability. Their visitors were clearly weary, and after the meal, Kei suggested the four of them have a bath. In the village, Kei would have joined them but Arman had never been able to shed this last vestige of his Prijian upbringing, the feeling it was just wrong to bathe with anyone other than his lover. Kei had had to explain this to Pira – the poor woman had to bathe alone, which Arman knew went contrary to all polite practice among the Darshianese, but he simply could not bring himself to lounge naked in front of a woman old enough to be his mother. Kei had given up teasing him on the subject – he knew a lost cause when he saw it. Instead, he and Kei cleaned up the kitchen while Pira did a little darning. Kei was trying to make sure she didn't overdo it after the bad cold which she had only just fully got over in the last week or so. He knew the knack of making it seem that Pira was supervising their worthless persons as they carried out tasks that they should be doing anyway, and so preserving her fragile self-esteem. Although Pira had loved him dearly, her husband had been a rather controlling character, so Lady Nera had reported to them. It was all too easy for her to be made to feel as if she had no power over her destiny, and Kei wanted to make sure she felt in charge of her little domain, even if it was just this house. Kei saw him smiling. "What are you thinking of?" "You, naturally," Arman said, leaning over for a kiss, and then handing his lover a pot to rinse. Pira smiled at their interaction. "Those boys are very well-brought up young men, don't you think?" "A credit to their parents," Kei agreed. "Pity about that poor lad's stutter though. Such a pretty child and then he opens his mouth and spoils it."

Kei turned so only Arman could see his frown. "He'll grow out of it," he said cheerfully, although Arman could tell his tone was slightly forced. "Just like he'll grow taller, right, Arman?" "He might indeed. I wasn't much taller at his age, and look at me." Kei did so with obvious admiration. "Hmmm, I think one giant around me is enough," he said, and Pira chuckled. "The way they eat, I'm sure they'll be taller than either of you." She packed her darning away. "I think I'll go to bed, if you're finished in here." "Of course," Kei said, offering his arm to help her to her feet, though she didn't need it. "Goodnight," he said gently, kissing her cheek. "A wonderful meal, as usual." "It will be even better tomorrow for the child's birthday, I promise," she said, smiling. "Good night, Arman." Kei came back to the sink as the door closed. "Karik doesn't need pity," he said quietly. "And only a fool would think he was one, just because of a stammer." "Yes – but she's right that it does detract from people's impression of him." Kei turned to him. "I'm going to find someone, anyone, who knows how to treat such things, Arman. The lad has a truly remarkable mind. To have it disregarded over something so trivial is a pure crime. I don't understand where he got his intelligence from, since you hold his parents in such low regard – it's nothing short of miraculous." "Mayl isn't stupid, actually," Arman said, putting some elbow grease into removing a bit of baked-on food. "She just found it easier to get by on her looks and with manipulation, and of course, she had no education to speak of. Her father was sharp enough, though he was a perfect bastard. Mekus is nothing remarkable, unless you value cunning – he has that in barrow loads." "Karik has not a drop of that in him, for which we should be thankful. He's so innocent, Arman. I almost wish I could preserve him as he is, for all he needs to learn a little worldliness. Such a beautiful soul." "Does he need to be worldly, living in Ai-Albon? He could be like Misek and run a nursery, never be troubled by the outside world at all."

Kei gave him a sharp look, and then wiped his hands – they were nearly done, and so Kei put the kettle on for a last cup of tea before retiring. "I wouldn't say the village is a place for innocents, Arman. It's not that he's not suffered at all, or he wouldn't be so lacking in confidence, but somehow it's managed to leave his soul untouched. He has one of the purest hearts I've ever sensed. If it wouldn't grieve Jena and Reji terribly, I would beg to have him stay with us." Arman raised a eyebrow at the strongly expressed words. "Neither of us have time for him, and you know it." "Yes, but that's also a cause for regret," he said with a sigh. "I know, I know." He shook his head, perhaps at his own foolishness. "I still want to help him. I think he would be much improved if we could build his confidence." Kei fixed Arman with a look. "You can do much in that respect. You are a role model, or you would be, if you let it." "The boy can barely speak to me, Kei." "Because you terrify him. Try not be so damn gruff all the time. He's not a soldier." "I can't be pampering children...." "Karik is not a child, Arman. He's sixteen. Old enough to take on a trade, to father a child, and nearly old enough to come to the academy if he wanted. I'm not asking you to pamper him. Just treat him as you would me. As an adult." Arman couldn't help a grin. "And what makes you think I've ever treated you as an adult?" Kei stuck out his tongue, which rather tended to prove Arman's point. "You know what I mean, horrible man. Now stop messing around with those pots and make the tea. You're not the only one who's had an irritating day. I wonder if there's something in the air to make people so troublesome." Arman obeyed, feeling a little remorseful that he hadn't even asked how Kei's day had been. He was even more grateful that Kei had refused the academy position and decided not to mention Lord Meki's visit earlier. Nothing had changed, and Kei had enough to think about. He made the tea and brought the pot and mugs to the table, before sliding onto the bench next to Kei and putting his arm around him, kissing his hair. "So, plans for tomorrow?"

"I know Mis and Risa can't spend all day at leisure, so I thought they could take the boys around the city tomorrow, and then I'll have them in the afternoon. If we meet you for lunch, then you can talk to Karik and then I'll take them to the academy and show them the library. I can't spare a lot of time this week, although I'm trying to clear at least one whole day. Any chance you can?" How could Arman refuse with those wonderful eyes turned on him? "I'll try," he murmured. "I won't promise but I surely will try." "Thank you," Kei said contentedly, laying his head on Arman's shoulder. "I wish it was summer so we could escape." Arman kissed him again, this time on the lips, enjoying the warm taste of Kei's clever mouth. "Tell you what – when Misek and the others leave, I'll have a talk to Lord Meki. I could agree to what he wants, but insist on having a clear day a week, and maybe half the evenings utterly free without any argument – and we still go home every year." Kei stared. "Is it possible you could really do that? You said it wasn't." "For you, I'll make it possible. Besides, if Meki wants me that badly, he'll agree. You forget the rest of the country has to agree to his nomination and that's not assured by any means – but if he wants to put my name forward, those are my conditions. I want to cut back anyway." He kissed Kei again. "Meki hasn't anything else in his life," he said gently. "I most certainly do. What do you say?" "I say it sounds fair. You need to serve, Arman, it's in your blood and you're good at it. So am I. But like you, I have more in my life than my work." He stroked Arman's face and gave him a sad smile. "Karik was lucky you didn't give him to me, I suppose. We barely have time for each other, let alone enough to raise a child." Arman kissed Kei's fingers, and again regretted that he had deprived his lover at the one chance he'd ever had at being a parent. The least he could do was to give Kei his own company. Darshian would continue to receive his service – but so would Kei.

Karik slept badly, but he wasn't sure why, since the bed was comfortable, and Gyo lying beside him was a familiar, welcome presence. Karik was also very

tired and had really wanted to get some sleep, so he was frustrated to be still staring at the ceiling hours after they had all gone to bed. When he finally did drop off, dark nightmares woke him up, his heart hammering and sweat cooling on his face, even though he couldn't remember what they were about. Even though it wasn't yet dawn, he knew he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. If he'd been home, he would have just got up – lit a lamp and found a book, or started to prepare breakfast – but he couldn't do that here, for fear of waking someone or interfering where he wasn't wanted. So all he could do was lie still and wonder how his sixteenth birthday would pass. He had completely forgotten about it until something Misek had said as they were turning in reminded him. No one had mentioned it, and he wondered if Kei or Arman would remember. Not that it mattered. Being away from his parents meant it wouldn't be as much fun as he would like, although being with Gyo was good. He rolled over and waited patiently for some sign that it was all right to get up. As the dawn broke, he thought he heard low voices, and some gentle clinking. Then a heavy door opened and closed somewhere in the house. But still he wasn't sure if he should leave the room. But a few minutes later, Risa made a low grunt and rolled over on the other bed, opening his eyes and seeing Karik watching him. "Oh, Ka-chi – happy birthday." Karik smiled. So they hadn't forgotten. "Th-thanks. C-can I get up?" "Sure. Kei's probably already up, they're both early risers. Head along to the kitchen, we'll find you." Risa had been whispering and so had Karik, so neither Misek nor Gyo were disturbed. Karik quietly found a clean shirt and overshirt to wear, then decided he needed to change his trousers – Kei had mentioned they might go to the academy today. He slipped out of the room just as Risa was yawning a little and scratching his hair – he would be up soon, Karik knew – and found his way to the washroom to wash face and hands. Then he went to the kitchen, from where cooking smells were already coming. Kei was making batter cakes which sizzled and spat in the pan as he dropped them into it. "Good morning, Karik. Happy birthday." "Th-thanks. Wuh-where's Ah-Arman?" "Oh, long gone," Kei said cheerfully. "He likes to get in early when he can, especially if he wants to have some clear time in the afternoon, and since he's

going to arrange lunch for you all as a birthday treat, he had things to do before then." "Oh." Karik hadn't expected Arman to do anything at all for his birthday. "He ddoesn't m-mind?" "Of course not," Kei said with a big smile, deftly flipping the cakes in the pan. "Would you get some plates out for me?" Karik had just finished setting out plates for everyone when Risa came in, still yawning and muttering greetings to Kei. A few moments later, Pira emerged. "Now what are you doing in my kitchen, Kei?" "I'm sorry, Ma, I was trying to help," he said with a comically hang-dog expression. "I thought the boys would be hungry." "Yes, but they need something decent, not bachelor cooking," Pira grumbled. Kei, whose cooking Karik knew to be perfectly fine, dropped a wink at him. It was clearly a little joke the two of them had going, and not to be taken seriously. "Happy birthday, young man. Are you planning some fun for today?" Karik looked at Kei, who answered. "Not in the least," he said. "I was going to set him to scrub our floors, and then shift the compost heap, and then I thought he could come to the academy and dust all the books. Ow!" he yelped, shaking his hand vigorously – he'd got his knuckles rapped for his silliness. "Why, you don't think that's a perfect way to spend a sixteenth birthday? Isn't that how you spent yours, Risa-ki? I know that's how I spent mine." "You're an idiot, Kei," Risa said, pouring himself and Karik some milk from the jug Pira had put out for them. "Don't worry, Karik, your Pa told me to make sure you enjoy yourself." He reached into the pocket of his overshirt and drew something out wrapped in cloth. "It's nothing much, but I hope you like it," he said, handing it to Karik. Karik unwrapped the object and found it was a gike plumwood hair clasp, lovingly carved and polished until it was as shiny as the tero stone he was wearing around his neck. "It's b-beautiful." "Can I see?" Kei asked. "Oh, yes, indeed – lovely work, Risa. I'm glad you still make such things – after Pa died, you seemed to be the only one who could match his skill."

Risa shrugged. "It's something to do while we're travelling." "Let's put it on you," Kei said. Karik turned obediently and let Kei fasten it to the top of his braid. "It looks fine. Not a Ruler has anything better, I swear." Karik flushed with pleasure. "Th-thanks, Risa. I ll-love it." "I'm glad, Ka-chi. You have such nice hair, shame not to show it off a little." "Very nice," Pira agreed, as she tended to Kei's batter cakes. "Prettier than any girl's." This time, Karik's flush was from embarrassment, but he only nodded as he drank his milk. It was clearly a day old, but still good – he wondered where they got their milk from. "Wuh-where do you g-get food?" "Buy it, you mean? From the market – Risa, you'll be taking them down to show them all that this morning, won't you? I have to be at the academy in an hour, but we can meet at the Rulers' House at noon." Risa nodded. "Of course. We don't want to put you out, Kei." "You're not, you're a most welcome addition to my routine. It's a shame Arman is so busy but he's going to try and clear a day, and then we might be able to take a jesig cart out along the coastal cliffs." Now that was something Karik really would like to do, and he hoped Arman would be able to manage it, but it sounded as if it was going to be difficult for him. "D-does he r-really huh-have a lot of cleaning to d-do?" Kei and Risa both stared at Karik in confusion. "He s-said he was a s-servant. Muh-Meis said they c-clean floors and th-things." Kei covered his mouth, his glee-filled eyes telling Karik that he was trying to hold in riotous laughter. Risa just chuckled while Pira started to explain. Kei held his hand up. "Oh gods, please let me be the one to tell Arman that. Better, let me tell Lord Meki. No, Ka-chi," he said, his eyes bright with amusement. "He's not that kind of servant – I'd bet he wishes he was sometimes. He helps the Rulers with planning and negotiations, and he's been working on the redesign of the harbour." "But...."

"Karik, Arman was making a joke at his own expense," Risa said. "He's not really a servant at all – he receives no salary, does it all purely for love." "That's right," Kei said, nodding, "if I didn't earn my keep, we'd be beggars." Karik was now the one completely confused. "B-but...." He looked around the large kitchen, and at Pira. "You're r-rich?" Kei laughed again. "Hardly. The house belongs to the state, and because of the work we both do here, we get an allowance for its upkeep and for some of our living expenses. Pira's wage is paid by Lady Nera, since Lord Meki insisted that we needed someone to help us manage our lives...." "Which you do," Pira said severely. "Which we undoubtedly do," Kei agreed without a shred of embarrassment. "Arman receives small gifts of food and books from the Rulers occasionally, and so do I from friends, but we're not rich." "I still think he should have a salary for all the work he does – every day, up at dawn, working until nightfall," Pira said. "Not even Jen worked so hard...Jen was my husband," she explained to Karik and Risa. "Maybe so," Kei said, "but the Rulers receive no salary either. Arman was offered one, but refused. He said the house was enough, and I agree. We don't starve, do we, Ma?" "Hardly," she said, choosing that moment to set the first batch of batter cakes down on the table, where they were pounced on immediately by Kei and Risa. "But the Rulers all have other sources of income. He doesn't." Was Karik only imagining that Kei's bright smile darkened for a brief moment before he answered? "It's how he wants it, Pira, and I agree. Anyway, Karik, Arman doesn't clean the Rulers' floors. He does polish these from time to time, which is a sight to see, I can tell you." Karik nodded, now embarrassed at his misapprehension. He didn't have long to enjoy his chagrin though, as Misek and Gyo came into the kitchen, obviously hungry and looking at the hot food like it was all that stood between them and total starvation. The topic of Arman's working arrangements was buried under more birthday wishes, and discussion of what they would be doing that day. Kei only waited long enough to bolt down some batter cakes with butter, to admire the rather fine box with a sliding, inlaid lid that Gyo and his father had made for

Karik – "to keep stones and things in," Gyo told him somewhat shyly – and to tell them to be sure to meet him at the Rulers' House at noon, before he excused himself. "I'm teaching anatomy this morning," he said by way of explanation, "and my students don't like it when I'm late. I'll see you in a few hours. Enjoy yourselves." He gave Pira a quick kiss on the cheek and then he was off. Misek shook his head. "He never changes," he said fondly. "So, Karik, what would you like to do this morning? We could go to the markets, or visit the public menagerie, or see the new herbarium." Karik would really have liked to attend Kei's anatomy class, actually, but unless he was to train as a healer, he supposed he would never get the chance. He could tell which of the options Gyo wanted. "M-markets?" "Fine, that will let me get some of the things Pia wanted, and Ma. Risa, did you get a list from Jena?" "Jena, and Sira, and Myka...." Risa groaned. "I think they think I have nothing to do but visit the market stalls when I come up here." Misek chuckled. "But you don't, surely. I can get most of it, I think. We're meeting Aito this afternoon, yes?" "Yes, I need to catch him before his ship sails." "A ship?" Gyo said eagerly. "I'd really like to see a ship." Risa frowned. "Not sure there'll be time, not if Kei wants to take you around the academy after lunch...." "But uncle Risa, I'd rather see a ship than the academy." There was an obvious solution to Karik's mind. "Wuh-why don't I s-stay with KKei, and you c-can g-go with your P-Pa?" "He'll think I'm rude," Gyo said sadly. "Nonsense, son, Kei won't mind. He's only trying to show you what you might be interested in. I'll just tell him you're to come with me, that's all," Misek said. "What about you, Karik? Academy or ship?" "Ac-academy." He would like to see a ship, but he'd longed to see where Kei taught medicine ever since he'd heard of the place.

"Why am I not surprised?" Risa said with a chuckle. "Well, come on, lads, eat up. The city's a big place, and I've got a long list of things to get for some very determined women."

There were more people in the market than Karik had ever seen in his life – easily twice as many as were in the whole of Ai-Albon – and his head spun from the riot of colours and sounds and smells. Stall holders called out prices for the wares, people haggled fiercely over goods, and there were bells attached to some of the stalls, that rang sonorously in the breeze. Karik and Gyo kept close to the older men, who seemed utterly unfazed by the clamour. "I won't be getting the main stores from here," Risa explained as they moved through the throng. "But I can get a few speciality items, thread and dye for Ma, that kind of thing. Might be a good place to pick up a small gift for your mother and sister, Gyo." Gyo nodded. Karik wondered what he could get his own Ma, or even if she would like something bought, not made by his own hand. He'd counted the coins that his Pa had given him – there were twenty rina, and two pikin. Enough to buy a couple of generous meals, Misek said, but not much more. He decided he would wait until later in the week before making a decision. Risa seemed to know exactly where to go and led them to a dark, crowded stall jammed between ones selling brightly coloured cloth. The one which he stopped in front of was piled high with sacks of dye powder and behind the elderly woman who seemed to be the owner, were long reels of thread and wool. She greeted Risa as an old friend. "Where's Reji?" "Hurt himself," Risa said, handing over his list to her. "Wira, this is my brother, Misek, his son Gyo, and his friend, Karik." She said hello and then smiled at Karik, before saying something that Karik completely failed to understand. He looked helplessly at Risa for help. Risa coughed. "Uh, Wira, Karik doesn't speak Prijian. He's actually Darshianese – Reji's boy." "What? With that colouring?" She squinted at him. "You're joking, Risa." "No, I'm not. Wira, it's Karik's birthday and their first visit to Darshek, so if I could leave my list with you and collect it later this week, I'd be grateful."

"Of course. No offence meant, Risa. Karik, I didn't mean to be rude. Wait a moment." She rummaged around behind her counter and pulled something out with a small cry of triumph. "My daughter makes these. Put out your hand, young man." Hesitantly he obeyed, and she fixed a small band around his wrist. When she was done, he looked at it – it was woven from very fine wool, and there was the image of a bird flying embroidered into the cloth. It had a simple metal clasp and a leather backing. "Do you like it?" "Y-yes. H-how m-much?" He hoped it wasn't expensive, or if it was, that it wasn't rude to refuse. "Oh, nothing, nothing – a birthday gift for you. It's only a small thing, but the young people seem to like them. Handsome fellow like you should have some adornments, don't you think?" Karik nodded and showed Gyo. "It's great, Ka-chi! Pa, maybe Keira would like something like that?" "Perhaps, son, but there's lots more to see. Risa?" "Yes. Wira, thanks for the gift, and I'll be back in a couple of days. Boys?" "Th-thank you," Karik said politely to the woman, who beamed at him. Then he followed the others as Risa led them further up the street. "Sorry about that, Karik. Most of the people in the market speak two or even three languages, and she thought she was being polite. You'd think the braid would give you away as one of our own, right, Mis?" "Yes. Don't take it personally, Karik." "I wuh-won't," Karik assured them, looking at the band again. "People can be rude to me too if I can get things like that," Gyo said cheerfully and Karik laughed. It hadn't been such a bad deal, certainly. They spent a couple of hours looking around the market and shops, boggling at the variety and the oddness of many of the goods that were for sale, and also doing a good bit of people watching. The Andonese were the strangest things on display, Karik decided. The men looked so fierce and solemn, and their women so serious. They wore loose robes, rather than shirts and trousers, and the men covered their short black hair with leather caps, the women using heavy scarves to veil their own, even in the humid warmth of the sunny day. Some of the men

had wispy beards, something neither Gyo nor Karik had ever seen. They spoke in a harsh, clipped language that was almost like the raucous sounds of krackkrack birds. Karik wondered what kind of environment produced such a language, and such people. The Andonese were far outnumbered by the Prij, who were both customers and traders. A good number lived permanently in Darshek, Misek said, and Wira wasn't the only person to assume Karik spoke Prijian that morning. Risa gave up apologising, just shaking his head ruefully before explaining to whoever it was who'd made the mistake. Karik didn't mind really – he was more curious about the language itself which seemed a little like Darshianese in tone, but utterly unlike in the words. "Ri-Risa, do you sp-speak Prijian?" "A few words, no more. I don't really need it, though I dare say by the time you lads are full-grown it would be useful if you ever came back here. You can see how many Prij are in the city – a lot more than even when I first came up four years ago. Kei said he's had to polish up what he learned in the war." "Is it hard to learn?" Gyo asked as they made their way towards the far end of the market, heading to what Risa said was the banking area of the city. "I don't think so – depends on how much you want to, and what you'll use it for. Personally, I'm more than happy not to deal with the Prij direct," he added darkly. There were fewer people at this end of the marketplace, but it was still crowded. It seemed this was the area for selling fruit and herbs, and business was brisk. Risa bought them each a pale yellow fruit which he said was called a quilo and came from the south. Karik bite into his cautiously – it had a soft skin, slightly bitter, but inside it was sweet with an edge of tartness – delicious, he thought. It had a hard stone at its centre, and when he finished eating, he carefully wrapped the seed and that from Gyo's fruit in his handkerchief. When he got home, he would try to grow it. As he was stowing his prize, he saw a movement that caught his eye – a tall Prijian boy at the stall in front of them, paying for some fruit. What had caught Karik's attention was the fact he had a green lizard sitting on his shoulder, with a little chain around its neck. "Look," he whispered to Gyo, pointing. "Why doesn't it run away? I've never seen a lizard like that before." Karik stared in fascination. The lizard was bright green with a yellow tail, and seemed quite happy to perch on a shoulder as if it was just a cloth-covered rock.

At that point, the boy turned, saw Karik watching, and gave him a wink and a big smile. He called something quickly in what Karik now knew to be Prijian, picked up the fruit and then strode off without a backward glance. Karik looked at Gyo, who just shrugged. "Come on, lads," Risa called impatiently, walking on. Karik hurried to catch up with the others, but the image of the strange boy, his bright smile and the pretty lizard stayed with him all morning.

By noon, Karik was glad to stop. Risa had shown them all the imposing buildings in Darshek, they'd walked past the public menagerie and the herbarium and the performance arenas and the theatre, and been promised a return visit to see inside each of them, had a long cool drink of fruit juice bought from a vendor, and been jostled by what seemed thousands of busy people. Their route took them back to the Rulers' House where they were expected, and asked politely to wait. Karik was happy to sit – his feet were killing him. Besides, there were things to see even in this reception hall. The floor was inlaid with different coloured woods, making a picture of a mountain range – the Kislik range, he realised after studying it carefully. The walls were painted white, but there were many paintings hung on them – portraits, landscapes, even just a few smaller ones of flowers and birds. He could have happily spent all day just looking at them, but it was obvious that Misek and Risa thought he should sit quietly with them and not wander off. A few minutes later Kei came in. "Ah, sorry, I got chatting to Bikel and forgot the time. Does Arman know you're here?" "She said she would wait until you arrived," Risa said, nodding at the clerk. "So she should, yes. Meris, can you tell Arman I've arrived?" She nodded. "Of course, Kei." She walked off down one of the halls that Karik could see extending from the reception area. "So, have you had fun? Seen everything? Worn the soles off your boots yet?" he added, tugging at Gyo's braid.

"I'm tired, Kei," Gyo said. "So many people." "Yes, it's a bit overwhelming, I know. But it's only the centre of the city that's really crowded. Out on the edges, towards the farms, it's a lot more civilised. Most of the Rulers have their homes there, rather than here. Except for Lord Meki of course...." "Ah, I thought I could hear you chattering," Arman said, smiling as he walked across to them, then greeted his lover with a kiss. "Have you been waiting long?" "Just long enough for the lads to get their breath back," Misek said. "They're suffering from a little Darshekitis." "That's what happens when village meets city," Kei explained with a grin. "Right, Arman – I'm starving. What have you laid on for us?" "For you, nothing. For our guests, a fine feast. Come this way." He took them out to the back of the building where there was a long verandah, and a table already set with a fine cloth and delicate pottery plates. As they sat down, two men brought trays of food to them – cold cooked fish which Karik had never tasted before, soup, bread, sliced cooked vegetables, and a bowl of quilo fruit. There were also some curious pastries, similar to those they had seen in the market. Karik's mouth began to water – he was hungry. "I hope this is all right – it's the kind of lunch we give visiting officials from Kuprij," Arman said, breaking open a roll and spreading butter on it. "We have to leave the cheese out if it's for the Andonese, of course." Karik wondered why, but couldn't find the courage to ask. "It's fine and you know it, Arman," Kei said. "Remind me to thank Lord Meki when I see him." "And thank him for me too, Arman," Misek added. "Well, don't sit there staring, Gyo. It won't bite you." Gyo grinned before applying himself enthusiastically to the food. Karik was more circumspect. Arman was looking at him in a way that made him very nervous, and he was terribly afraid of appearing clumsy or rude. He let the others describe their morning to Kei, who told them more about things that were going on in the city at that moment, and urged Arman to describe the work he was doing to make the harbour safer and deeper, with better docking facilities for

the cargo ships. Karik was fascinated by it all and happy to listen. No one seemed to mind that he didn't join in, although Kei looked at him a few times as if to encourage him to speak up. Arman didn't talk to him at all, although not in a way that made it seem he was ignoring Karik – more that Misek and Risa and Gyo had his full attention. The food was delicious, although the fish took a little getting used to – the bread was the lightest he'd ever eaten, and the cheese, made from lemul milk, so Kei told them, tasted very different from ordinary cheese, but he decided he rather liked it. He wondered what lemuls looked like, and why they weren't raised on the plains. He would have to ask Kei later. Finally, once they had devoured the wonderful pastries and eaten more quilo fruit, Arman wiped his lips and then pushed his plate away. "Well, enjoyable as this has been, I really do have to go back and do some work. Karik, I've got your birthday gift, if you'd like to come with me to collect it." "A g-gift?" Karik had rather thought the meal had been that – but then that had been provided by the Rulers, he supposed. Then he caught Kei's look and realised that Arman wanted to have that talk. Kei nodded as he saw Karik understand this. "Arman, why don't you have Karik taken over the academy when you're done, and I'll walk everyone else out?" Gyo seemed worried at this change in plans, so Karik gave him a reassuring smile. "S-see you tonight, Gyo." "Come on, son," Misek said, standing. "Risa needs to see Aito before tonight's tide." "Let me show you the way out," Kei said. "Karik, when you get to the academy, tell them you're to see me. I'll make sure you're expected, but take your time." Karik nodded, and stood politely as the others left. "It's this way," Arman said, opening the door back into the building and leading Karik down a long wide corridor, along which hung a series of portraits of solemn-faced men and women in red robes. Former Rulers, he supposed. His stomach was churning by the time Arman got to a door at the very end of the corridor, and opened it. It was a small room, full of books. On a large desk, which took up a good deal of space in the room, were many papers and more books. "Have a seat, Karik."

Karik perched nervously on one of the chairs in front of the desk, while Arman took a seat behind it, opening a drawer and pulling something out. "Strictly speaking this is a gift by proxy, since I had to ask my father for help to obtain it. I hope you like it." He handed over a long object wrapped in oiled paper. Karik took it and unwrapped it carefully. There was a wooden box inside it – when the lid was removed, an odd looking metal tool was revealed, as well as a sealed pot and a thick, short handled brush. He looked at Arman in puzzlement. "It's a razor," Arman said. "And good shaving soap. For your...." He indicated his own cheeks and top lip. "I know you don't need it now, but you will soon enough. After all, you're sixteen, nearly an adult," he added with forced heartiness. Karik wondered why Arman was so ill at ease. "Th-thank you." He had absolutely no idea how to use a razor on himself. It looked nothing like what they used to prepare hides in the village with. But Arman had thought of that, it seemed. "Before you go, I'll show you how it's done – don't want to spoil that fair complexion of yours, do we?" Karik nodded, but Arman still seemed as if he wasn't sure how to carry out this conversation. Abruptly he stood up and walked to the window to stare out of it. He spoke without turning around. "I understand from Kei, who spoke to your mother, that you have some questions for me, so I've been thinking about what to say to you. I realise I could have handled this better sixteen years ago, but we can't cross that bridge again." He cleared his throat. "I understand your natural curiosity, and in your situation, I would feel the same. However, I'm dealing with a very difficult situation, and it's not just you who has to be considered. What I've decided is that I will tell you as much as I deem practical and wise, and then I will ask you not to seek more information than that – from me or from anyone. Will you give me that undertaking?" He turned then and looked at Karik. "Y-yes," he said quietly. He hardly knew how to argue with the man – he wished he could just say he no longer really wanted the information at all. And the questions he did want answers to, he knew he would never have the courage to ask – not when Arman had this glint in his eye. "Do I have your word of honour on this, Karik? What I give you now is all that you will seek?" Karik nodded, now feeling rather scared of Arman – he looked so serious. "Then I hope you keep that word, lad. There are dangerous forces at work here, you must not meddle with them."

He came and sat back at the desk, picking up a letter opener and beginning to fiddle with it. Karik had never seen him fidget before. "You are, as is perfectly obvious, a Prij by birth, although you are by law Darshianese and nothing will change that. Your birth mother...." He stopped and took a deep breath as if he was in pain. "Her name is Mayl, Sei Mayl, Sei meaning she's the daughter of a senator. I don't suppose you even know what a senator is." "Ll-like a Ruh-Ruler?" "Yes, a little. I'm also a senator's child. That class is the nobility among the Prij, although unlike the Rulers, the position isn't won by merit very often. My father is a rare example – he was the youngest son of a senator, but was made one in his own right because of his services to the present sovereign's father. However, my brother is now a senator in his stead on account of him being my father's oldest son. The position is inherited." Karik nodded. "And my fah-father?" "Other than the fact he is also a nobleman, I can't tell you about him, Karik." Arman grimaced. "I know that's not what you want to hear, but I won't be moved on this issue, so please don't ask me again." "Wuh-was my m-mother r-raped? Like Pia?" Arman shot him a sharp glance. "No, I assure you she wasn't. You're not the offspring of a crime, Karik, I can tell you that much. As for how you came into my keeping...." He stood up again and returned to the window. "Mayl's...affairs...were in my charge. I can't say more than that. I deemed it best for your welfare that you were not left in her care. I will say that, seeing the person you have grown up to be, I have never regretted that decision. Trust me, you're a better, happier person for being raised as Reji and Jena's child than you would be if I had left you in Utuk." "She's...?" Arman turned sharply, and Karik leaned back in his chair as if he were under physical threat, so ferocious did Arman seem just then. "No, don't ask me more, I beg you. You mustn't ask more about this, and you must not seek her out. Your parents' happiness depends on this, Karik, I swear on my honour. Your birth parents will do nothing but cause you harm, and more than that – harm to Reji and Jena, to Kei and even to me. Even to Darshian itself."

Karik couldn't speak, he was so shocked. He stared at Arman, who turned back to the window and refused to say any more for several minutes. But finally Arman sighed and returned to his desk. "I'm sorry, lad. I know that sounds rather dramatic. Your real parents are connected to very powerful, ill-motivated people, and I need you to put them out of your mind for everyone's sake. Nothing good will ever come from attempting to contact them, and knowing more about them will not bring you peace, however frustrating that is for you. I can only ask you to trust that I have your best interests at heart, though I know you may not believe it now. Are you happy in your life? Do you really wish I hadn't brought you north?" Karik shook his head. "No. I ll-love M-Ma and Pa. I d-don't c-care about anyone else." Arman smiled a little. "At least my conscience is eased on that score. Did Jena tell you about the man you were named for?" "A l-little." "So you know he was called Karus." Karik nodded. "It was Kei who suggested the name, Karik, but it was Karus who said I had a responsibility to make sure you were raised with love and joy. I wouldn't have been able to keep that promise if you had stayed in Kuprij." He smiled again, this time sadly. "Karus was my tutor, one of my dearest and oldest friends. A wonderfully wise man. I like to think he would be pleased at how you've turned out." Karik opened his mouth to thank Arman, but then the door opened suddenly and a short, elderly man wearing the red robes of a Ruler came in. "Arman...oh, I do beg your pardon, Lodi said your visitors had left." Karik stood, unsure of what was the correct thing to do. Arman also stood. "We are finished, pretty much. My lord, this is Karik. Karik, this is Lord Meki." Karik bowed, it being the most polite thing he could think to do then. "How nice to meet you again, Karik," Lord Meki said. Again? Karik thought. "But don't let me disturb you, Arman...." "I'll come to you in a few minutes, my lord. Just let me get Karik set on the way to the academy." The Ruler nodded and left. "That's my boss," Arman said with a smile. "And it reminds me that I really must get back to my work. Have you any questions?"

Only a few thousand, Karik thought, even as he shook his head. "N-no. Thank you." "You're welcome. Now, come with me and I'll have someone walk you to the academy. I know Kei has a gift for you too." Now the unpleasant topic of his parentage had been dismissed, Arman seemed more relaxed. "I think you'll find the academy fascinating – I always do. Some very bright people indeed work over there. Kei's the brightest, of course, but there are a few nearly as clever as him." Karik made himself smile at Arman, sensing the man needed to see he was handling things well, though inwardly he was troubled, and even a little resentful that Arman hadn't seen fit to let him decide if he could handle the information. Still, he was glad this conversation was over. It had raised more questions than it had answered, but if Arman was telling the truth – and Karik had no reason to disbelieve him – to push for more would hurt his parents and that, Karik would never do. If being the son of an unknown man kept those he loved safe, it was a small price to pay. He just would have liked not to have that one question left unanswered.  

 

Chapter 6 He politely thanked the soldier who had escorted him the short distance to the academy – he wished Arman hadn't thought he needed to be taken around like a child, but perhaps he'd thought it was just polite. Karik's thoughts were in a jumble. He couldn't make sense either of what he'd been told nor of what Arman said he wouldn't tell him – or the reasons. He wished he'd felt up to pushing Arman a little – he got the distinct impression that Arman was putting on a front to deter him and if Karik had been braver, he might have been able to force the truth from him – but the moment had passed now. He badly wanted to discuss the matter with his parents, but he would have to wait weeks and weeks for that now, he supposed. The academy was a handsome building and Karik felt at home in it almost immediately, though he still felt rather depressed as he gave his name to the polite clerk and then sat to wait for Kei. He fiddled with the band on his wrist – his birthday was certainly turning out to be memorable, but for all the wrong reasons. He didn't have long to wait – Kei arrived in just a few minutes, his expression grave. "Come with me," he said quietly, his hand on Karik's shoulder. They had to climb two flights of stairs to get to Kei's office. "Sorry about this," he said. "I wanted a view and this was the only room they had spare that I liked. It's actually over the anatomy lecture room. Sometimes the smell in summer can get a bit much," he said, pulling a face. "Have a seat, Karik." Kei's office was much larger and airier than Arman's, but also messier and busier. So many books, skulls, models, papers.... "H-how do you fi-find things?" Kei laughed. "I have a system, believe it or not. It's just worse now because I've been looking things up for Jezinke in Urshek. Very clever man – I hope to meet him one day. Now," he said, leaning forward. "How did it go? With Arman, I mean. I can feel you're upset. Did he tell you who your parents are?" "Muh-my mother. N-not my fuh-father. He s-said not to ah-ask about them." "Ah." Kei looked thoughtful at that. "That's not very satisfactory for you, is it?" Karik shook his head and Kei sighed. "I'm sorry, Karik. Would it help for me to assure you that if Arman thinks your birth parents will only bring you sorrow, it's an opinion I share?" "You kn-know them?"

"Yes." A look of pain crossed Kei's face, and Karik remembered what his father had said about Kei being mistreated during the war. "I don't know what I can say that will help. Arman really does have your best interest at heart and that of your parents. Can you believe that, at least?" Karik nodded. "It's all r-right. I wuh-won't ask. I duh-don't want to hu-hurt Ma and P-Pa." "I'm sure you don't. You're handling this very well, Karik, and I'm proud of you. I hope when you look back on this day, you won't judge Arman too harshly." Somehow, with Kei respecting him as an adult, it was easier to react as one. "I wuh-won't. He wuh-wants to protect m-me. Us." "Yes, he does," Kei said, looking a little sad. "And it's wise and generous of you to understand that." Karik felt his face turning red. "Th-thanks." "No need to thank me for telling the truth. Now. I suppose you think I forgot to get you a birthday gift, hmmm?" Karik stared. It had crossed his mind briefly, but since Arman had given him such a generous present, he'd assumed it was from both of them. "No." "Huh. Well, I didn't," he said, grinning, opening a drawer in his desk and pulling out a book. "Here, to encourage your discoveries." Karik took it and read the title – The flora of South-east Darshian. He opened the pages, and was astonished at the beautifully coloured illustrations of flowers and plants, many of which were types he'd never seen before. As he flipped carefully but eagerly through the pages, he heard Kei laugh and he looked up. "I'm sorry – I've never felt someone fall in lust with a book before. I take it you like it?" He held it close to him. "Yes. Th-thank you." "One day I hope you might contribute to a book on the plants of the plains. I certainly want to know if you find any of the plants in that book up near AiAlbon. I need someone like you to work for me," Kei said with a sigh. "Muh-me?"

"Yes, you, lad. A bright, thoughtful, sharp-eyed person is just who I need. Part of my job is spotting people who can serve this country in scientific investigation – I've spotted you now," he added, grinning. Karik was too surprised to speak. "However, I'm sitting here chatting when I'm sure you want to see the academy.... You did want to see it, yes? You weren't just being polite when you could have gone to see Aito's ship, I hope." He looked really worried. "No. I ch-chose this. I've b-been looking f-forward to it." Kei's expression cleared. "Oh good. Come and see the library, it was the thing I was most impressed with when I first came here." Even though Kei had had no explanation or comfort to offer, somehow Karik just felt better for having talked to him. He even felt a little sorry for Arman – the older man had had such difficulty with the conversation for all his importance and experience, and had clearly been so worried about his reaction, no wonder he'd handled things so abruptly. Karik was actually proud of himself that he had been able to keep so calm. It would be all right, he thought. He knew he was a Prij, child of a noblewoman – but he was Jena and Reji's son first. And Kei was proud of him. Karik kept his new treasures clutched tightly to him as they climbed down the long stairs and walked along tall, wooden-floored corridors. They passed several people in the hallways, all of whom bowed to Kei respectfully and called him 'Master'. After the third time this had happened, Karik looked at Kei, who seemed rather embarrassed. "It's just the title of my position," he murmured. "I always feel a little silly when they do that." Karik thought it was funny. No wonder his Pa teased Kei so much about his job. "Now, here we go." They came to a pair of huge, heavy doors, which Kei pushed open with ease, despite their obvious weight. As they opened, Karik realised he had entered paradise. There were thousands of books all along the walls, and over a dozen people reading quietly, books open on tables and note books lying beside them. The ceiling was very tall and arched, and there were huge windows on all sides which would give light until the last rays of the sun disappeared. He walked into the centre of the room and turned around slowly – books everywhere. Knowledge everywhere. Kei came to his side and put his hand on Karik's shoulder. "I know how you feel," he whispered. A woman reading close by, looked up with an annoyed expression, but when she saw who had spoken, she nodded and smiled, and turned back to her book. "When I first came in here, I never wanted to leave."

"No." But then Karik was sad. The academy was for professionals, healers, architects, engineers, teachers...not for children. "I wish I could stay," he murmured. Kei signalled for Karik to follow him, and led him to a small office to the side of the reading room. "It's a quiet space for people looking at maps," he explained, resting his backside on a table. "You're in love, aren't you?" Karik nodded and Kei smiled. "Then I hope you'll come back here one day." "I c-can't. I c-can't be a hee-healer wuh-with th-this st-st-stutter." He flushed with embarrassment at demonstrating his point so wonderfully. Kei frowned. "Who says, Karik? Besides, I think we can find an answer to help you speak more clearly – I notice when you slow down, or you whisper, you don't stammer. It's not a physical flaw, therefore I think there must be an answer. " Karik nodded. "Well, then. We just need to find out more about it. But be that as it may, Karik, you can be a healer with a stammer, I promise you – if you want to be. Do you?" "Not...sure." He'd tried saying it slower and it was true, he didn't stammer. "You have time to decide. But it's not the only kind of work you could do which can help the health of the Darshianese. You've already discovered a powerful fungicide, and that was without any training and just looking in your small locality. The plants of the dry areas are barely exploited. We don't even know what we have, not far to the west, or in the mountains. We already have people doing surveys, but it needs more than willingness, and it won't be something that we can do quickly." He put his hand on Karik's shoulder and looked down at him kindly. "By the time you're ready to come back, if you want to, you can help in that work. We need people who are careful, learned and brave. I think you're all three. It would mean travelling, going a long way from home. Do you think you could bear it?" Karik looked up at his 'uncle'. "I d-don't know. I'd ll-like to t-try." "I thought you might. So here's what I need you to do, Karik. Study hard, keep your eyes open, keep notes – all which you do now. I'll speak to Jena and make sure she trains you as if you are to be a healer and more besides. I know you've already picked up a good deal just by helping her and talking to her, and I know she believes you have a natural aptitude or I wouldn't suggest this at all. In a year, if you're still interested, come back to me, and you can study here. And after all that, you can either go home to work as a healer, or stay and work with me. How does that sound?"

Karik could only stare. "R-really? Me?" "Of course. Reji has a mind like yours. You've picked up his curiosity, his good sense, but also Jena's eye for the odd and the new. If Jena hadn't wanted to be a village healer so badly, she could be doing my job, and a lot better than me too," he said with a grin. "And your father is the smartest man I know. To have his son work with me would be an honour." Karik wanted to say that since he wasn't really Reji's son, Kei would be getting a poor deal, but with Kei's kind, smiling eyes turned on him, how could he? Besides, Kei already knew all that. "I'll tr-try." "Good, that's all I want. Would you like to see the anatomy lecture room? I think we've got rid of all the smelly bits, though I don't suppose that bothers you." Over the next couple of hours, he was taken to lecture rooms and work rooms, shown where experiments were being carried out, and led through the infirmary where particularly difficult medical cases were dealt with, and where healers were trained. Everywhere men and women – Darshianese, Prijian and Andonese – were hard at work, learning, seeking answers, investigating – and Karik badly wanted to be one of them. Some seemed barely older than he was, but what they all had in common was their serious intent, the air of studiousness that clung to each one. Kei was greeted with affection wherever he went, clearly respected and loved. Karik felt proud to be seen in his company. Kei finally took him out to the large gardens, which, while laid out in a formal, artistic manner, contained plants of considerable medical importance from many parts of Darshian and neighbouring countries. Kei lectured him in his familiar, gentle manner about the uses and growing habits of each they looked at, and Karik wondered how he could remember it all. Finally, Kei led him to a bench that looked out over the harbour. "Well, do you like what you see?" He nodded. "V-very much. I wuh-want it. Wuh-want to stay." Kei grinned. "Yes, I felt like that too. But I was so homesick too.... And then my parents died, six months after I got here. I didn't finish my training for over three years. When I came back, Meki wanted me to help promote and develop the academy. And then we never left," he said with a little shrug. "S-still homesick?"

"Yes, sometimes. Lots of times, actually. Going home helps, of course. Seeing you lads too, of course. It's something to consider, certainly, if you accepted my offer. It would be hard, leaving home, and I wouldn't want anyone to suffer as I did...." He took a deep breath and gave Karik a bright, slightly forced smile. "Not that you would be forced to leave. If you chose to stay, Karik, you could still do a lot for us. I would want you to, regardless. I just want you to know you have a choice. I know Reji and Jena would want you to develop to the best of your potential. That's all any parent would want." Karik wondered if his real mother would have felt that way. Kei of course noticed his shift in mood. "I didn't tell you that my gift to you is in two parts," he said gently. "And here comes the second part now." Confused, Karik looked in the direction Kei was pointing. A woman was coming towards them with a shy smile on her face. Kei got up and kissed her cheek. "Hello, Neka. Karik, this is Neka, one of our Gifted mind-speakers and my dear friend." Karik stood hastily and bowed deeply. He heard her laugh and looked up. "You're more polite than your father, Karik. Don't bow to me, it makes me feel old." "I'm s-sorry." "Neka, don't tease," Kei said, shaking his head at her. "Karik, I'm sure you've heard Jena mention Neka – and we've arranged for you to be able to speak to your mother and father. They're waiting for you now." "Huh? R-really?" Of all the things Karik had wanted today, this was the one he'd wanted above all others. "N-now?" "Yes, now," Neka said, taking his hand and indicating he should sit. Jena? He's here. Karik? How are you, dear? Karik started – he almost expected to see his Ma standing in front of him, for all that mind-speaking was hardly new to him. I'm fine – is Pa all right? Of course I am, Karik. Karik grinned, but then he gasped as he did suddenly seem to be right there with his parents, actually seeing them. Pa was grinning at him. I see you don't look much different at sixteen than you did at fifteen, he teased.

"How...?" He turned to look at Kei, who was sitting right next to him. "Neka is a little more powerful than your mother," Kei said. "Just enjoy it, Karik." Neka patted his hand. Just behave as if you're there with them. They can see you as if you were too. Are you having a good birthday, dear? What have you been doing, and how did the trip go? Without having to worry about his stammer, it was so easy to tell Ma everything, including what had happened with the Ai-Kislik traders. He 'saw' his parents' eyes fill with worry, and how his Pa put his arms around Ma's waist. Are you still upset, Ka-chi? I'm sorry, I never thought to tell you about these things because I never thought you would need to know. It's all right, Ma. I understand. But... they said Arman killed a boy? Yes...I don't suppose you asked him. Karik shook his head. Karik, when you get home, we'll talk. Properly. But it might be best not to mention it to Arman. It's a very painful subject. I understand. Ma...he told me about.... He couldn't say his 'mother' because the woman he'd learned of was hardly that. About Mayl. Ah. And your father? He wouldn't tell me who he was. He told me not to go asking questions either. What did he say exactly, Ka-chi? Neka nudged him. "I can show them exactly, if you like." He nodded, and then he found he was remembering the conversation with Arman – from the looks on his parents' faces, they were seeing it as he had. I see, his mother said with a tight-lipped expression. How do you feel? All right. Kei helped. He wondered if Kei could hear all of this. He can't, Neka said suddenly. He can only sense your emotions as he normally can. You have privacy, Karik, I promise.

It didn't really matter, he supposed, he'd just felt awkward talking about Arman in front of his lover. Ma, I'm not mad at Arman. I know, dear. I understand why he's done things this way, but I know it's not what you were hoping for. I hope you won't let it ruin your visit. We miss you terribly, you know. I miss you. He found his eyes were getting scratchy, but then he felt arms being put around him from either side, almost as if his parents were hugging him. Even though he knew it was just Neka and Kei, it made him feel better. You'll be home soon. Now, tell us what you're doing tomorrow. He spent another few minutes chatting to them, Kei and Neka's arms still comfortingly around him, and it eased the deep ache of homesickness in him that he had carried since he'd left his village. He wondered if he could ever take up Kei's suggestion, since being away for this short time had hurt so much, and hearing his parents' voices made him certain he could never leave them again. It was his Ma, finally, who suggested they should stop. Neka's a busy woman, dear, and Kei will have things to do. I can let you talk to them again before you go, Neka added. If you ever need to talk to them urgently, I can hear you anywhere in Darshek. So there you go, son, his Pa said. You enjoy the rest of your birthday and the rest of the visit, and you'll be home in under four weeks. It won't take as long to come back, and if this harridan you call a mother lets me, I might even ride out and meet you half-way. Karik saw his Ma give Pa a smack for that comment, and he grinned. I'd like that, Pa. Are you sure you're all right? My ribs are still sore and my leg aches a bit, but I'm walking fine. By the time you get back, you won't ever know I was injured. If you stop pushing yourself and moving hay bales without help, his Ma said. Pa! Yes, tell him, Karik, he won't listen to me. Damn stubborn bastard.

Language, you old hag, Pa said, winking at Karik. Off you go, son, and give my love to Kei. I'll be up before the summer to plague him. I will. I love you, Pa, Ma. And we love you, son, his Ma said. We'll speak later. Thank you, Neka. Anytime, Jena. He's a good boy, your son. The vision of his parents disappeared, and Karik blinked. He was still being held by his companions. "Well, did you enjoy that?" Kei asked. "Yes. Th-thank you, Neka." She squeezed him and then let him go. "It really was no trouble. I know how much Jena misses you. We talk all the time – she's so proud of you. You were such a pretty baby, and now you're a fine man." "Y-you saw me?" "Neka came with Arman and the others to help rescue the hostages, including your Ma," Kei explained. "In fact, without her, we'd never have done it. She was on the ship when Arman brought you back." "I haven't seen you since," Neka said, patting his hand, "but your mother tells me all about you, so I feel like I know you. It's nice to meet you again, though." "A-again – L-Lord Meki s-said that." "Oh, Meki was with us too," Neka said. "Lots of us were. The big adventure, right, Kei?" "In a way," Kei said with a smile. "Thank you, Neka. I thought to bring Karik and the others to visit in a few days, before they go. Do you think the others would mind?" "Meda will kill you if you don't," she said, grinning. "But I better get back – Jera will fuss. I'll see you tomorrow, Kei." He nodded and then she walked off across the grass. "D-does she l-listen all the t-time?"

"Well, technically, she does – she can hear anyone, any time, at least in Darshek plain, and a good distance beyond with the help of other mind-speakers. But she doesn't really listen – it's more background noise. If she wants to hear something or someone, she concentrates. Those of us she knows personally can 'hail' her if we think loudly enough. Don't worry," Kei said, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "She's perfectly discreet – she knows everything about everyone, but you'd never hear it from her lips. She would never share anything she hears with another without consent either, any more than your mother would. Neka's a remarkable woman – all of the Gifted are. I'm sure you'll like them." Karik was rather overawed by the idea of meeting more of these strange people. He was also feeling a little shaky emotionally, but before he could even decide how to hide it, Kei hugged him close, just holding him until he felt calmer. "Big day," Kei murmured. "You don't have to feel like you have to carry it all on your own shoulders, Karik. Your family is more than your parents. I'm still your uncle, aren't I?" "Y-yes, uncle Kei." Kei chuckled. "I really don't know what's worse, being called 'master' or being called 'uncle', but I like it, in a funny kind of way. Right. Let's walk the long way back to the house, and I can show you a few things. We don't want to be late back – Pira is making you a special meal and she's a wonderful cook."

Kei closed the washroom door behind them, and then turned to Arman. "Well, do you want to tell me why you've been radiating guilt all evening, or do I have to guess it's to do with your little chat with Karik?" Arman grimaced. "I made a bit of a mess of things, Kei. I'm sorry. I just couldn't tell him about Mekus, or Mayl being my wife – I couldn't. Bringing them into his life...or Reji and Jena's.... I don't know what they'll think, though." Kei took over unlacing Arman's shirt for him. "I think they'll understand in time," he said gently, skimming his hands up Arman's side. "Karik doesn't hold it against you, if that's what's been worrying you." He cupped Arman's face and kissed him. "He says he knows you're only trying to protect his family." Arman pulled away, unwilling to be praised on this. "Why does it hurt so much after all this damn time? Every time I think...think of her, him – I feel like I want to vomit. Why?"

Kei pulled him close again. "You tell me. Are you angry? Ashamed? Feel betrayed? Do you wish it had turned out differently...." "No! That's the one thing I don't want." He pulled away again and went to the wall so he could lean on it, his arms folded around him. "I don't know. Shame is some of it, shame at my failure.... Some of it is fear of what they might do. I shouldn't have told anyone about Karik, too many people know about Mayl and Mekus and it's dangerous," he said in all seriousness. "You could have hardly concealed a Prijian child from us, Arman, and the questions and speculation would have been even worse. At least enough people know the truth and the reason for discretion. What else could you have done with him? Left him with Mayl?" "Gods, no. But I could have given him to Mari. She would have been good for him, look how she raised Loke...." "Yes, that could have been an option, but would she have derived the joy that Jena did? And his status as an 'orphan' or adopted child in Utuk would have been far more prejudicial than in Ai-Albon." "Yes, I know and if I'm honest, this is much less about him than me, which only proves how selfish I am." Kei came to him and put his arms around him. "Arman, you are the least selfish person I know, have ever known. I could wish you to be more selfish, in fact." Arman rested his head on his lover's shoulder, grateful for his love, not sure he deserved it. "I spoke to Meki today – he's going to ask approval to put my name forward – and he's agreed to all I asked. I, uh, asked him to stay on though." He felt Kei draw breath to argue with him. "No, wait, not to work – but to keep an interest. The man will be dead in a month if you force him back to his farm. I know the type – damn it, I'm the same. We both need to be stimulated, and watching fruit ripen isn't enough for him. He hasn't got you to keep his mind alive, Kei." Kei looked at him seriously. "Arman, his condition is grave. He's done what he can with diet and medicine, but the main thing is the workload. He needs to rest and learn to relax or he's going to die in a very short time." "Yes, I know, but he can do that and still keep an interest in the country's affairs. I promise to be a lot more active in making him take it easy, starting from tomorrow. You didn't hear him, how...empty...he sounded. What he's done for

Darshian is a magnificent thing – he's a good man, Kei, for all you don't like him...." "I do like him – he's just pushy sometimes." "Hmmm, so are you when you want something. He's convinced you dislike him. I find that sad." "Then we shall have to do something about that," Kei said firmly. "But right now, I want you to calm down too. What's done is done. Maybe in a few years you might be able to talk to Karik again – I think I might have convinced him to come back to Darshek and study when he's older. Mekus really can't hurt you, or us, not with the protection of the Rulers. Mayl might be his wife now, but she's powerless – you protected me from her spite even in Utuk. What can she do here?" "I don't know. It's probably irrational, I grant you that, it's just what my instincts tell me. Look, will you apologise to the lad for me? Say...in a few years, or even when he comes back, we'll speak again. You can tell him what a damn fool you have for a lover." Kei tapped him on the nose. "I have no such thing. But I'll speak to him, perhaps in a couple of days. Today was rather overwhelming for him. Let him get his feet back under him, and I'll plan it so he can talk to his parents again afterwards." He kissed Arman's cheek. "Don't be so hard on yourself." Arman let Kei comfort him because frankly, he needed it, and to make love to him, to reassure himself that his life was sound and not under threat from his past. But that night, as Kei lay asleep in his arms, he wished he hadn't told Karik as much as he had. If he were Karik, the little he had learned would only make him more curious. Perhaps Kei was right, and he should offer to give the boy the full story in a year or so, if he would wait. He wondered now why he hadn't thought to give Karik to Mari. He knew that she would have taken the baby without a moment's hesitation. Certainly his parentage would have meant nothing to her, but it would have meant something to Arman's father and been as difficult to put aside as it would have been for Arman itself. Though it might have eased Mari's grief, it was undeniable that Karik had brightened two lives by being taken to Ai-Albon. The question was whether Karik himself would have been happier to have been left in Kuprij, but it was now too late to unmake that decision.

Arman kissed his lover's hair. Such a wise and kind man and so tolerant to put up with him. He was the one who should be made a Ruler. Arman was selfish enough to be glad the job wasn't going to be offered to him, but that didn't blind him to the fact that Kei was the better man. He would just have to try to give his best to Darshian, to make up for what they would not get from Kei.

It wasn't until the following day that Karik had any time alone with Gyo. They had gone to the market with Pira, since Misek and Risa were going to be busy all day and had left at dawn. Karik and Gyo stayed with Pira until she was done, and then she said they didn't need to return with her – they could stay and go to the public menagerie as they planned to do, as her food purchases would be delivered with the jombeker milk that was coming that afternoon. "Now, boys, Kei gave me some money to give you to buy lunch with. So you can stay all day if you like, but make sure you're home before sunset. You know the way now, but if you get lost, ask a soldier for Master Kei's house. They all know him. If you have any trouble at all, give Arman's name and Lord Meki's. Arman told me to tell you that specially. But you're not to get into trouble," she said, wagging a finger at them. "Your parents trust you to behave and so do Kei and Arman. Don't let them down." "No, Pira," they chorused. Kei had explained how the streets were laid out on a grid, and shown them a map. The inner part of the city wasn't that big, and he'd told them that provided they kept away from the inns on the docks, and were careful who they spoke to, they would be fine. He'd given them the name of a Captain Tiko to ask for if they needed to get a soldier to help them urgently. It sounded like everyone who was anyone in Darshek would help Kei or any friend of Kei's if he needed it. Karik was beginning to realise his uncle was probably almost as important as any Ruler and easily as respected. Pira gave them the coins, patted them on the head and then left them. The public menagerie wasn't that far from the market so they headed that way. The minute they had privacy, Gyo was wild to know what had happened with Arman. Karik had been debating whether he should tell his friend anything – but Arman hadn't said to keep it secret, only not to ask any more questions. He figured it was probably all right to tell Gyo about his mother. When he was done, Gyo's eyes were huge with amazement. "So you're a noble?" "I g-guess so. Ll-like Ah-Arman."

"But it doesn't make sense he can tell you about her and not him. Pa says the Prij are really funny about their women, and they have all kinds of strange ideas like thinking nakedness is wrong. He never said anything about the men, though." His expression suddenly cleared. "I think I know!" "Wuh-what?" "Well, Arman's a noble, and your mother's one – and he said he had control of her affairs – she must be his sister!" Karik stared at his friend dumbfounded. "You th-think s-so?" "See, it all fits," he said eagerly. "She has to be someone close to him, and someone he's in charge of. Pa says that the Prijian women aren't allowed to look after their own business, that they always need a brother or a father or someone like a husband to do it for them." "R-really?" "Yes. So I think Arman must be her brother – he can't be her father, and how could he be her husband? He'd have you himself if he was. So maybe...she married someone he didn't like and he died or something and so Arman took you away from her." "M-maybe." That sounded rather implausible to Karik. "H-he doesn't ll-like her m-much." "Well, maybe she's his brother's wife, not his sister. I think it's mean of him not to tell you, Ka-chi. You should ask him again." Karik shook his head. "He s-said no. I d-don't wuh-want to hu-hurt M-Ma and PPa." "But how can it hurt them?" "D-don't know. B-but I pr-promised. D-don't m-make me br-break that." "I won't, Ka-chi," Gyo said in a hurt voice. "Don't you mind, though?" Karik shook his head. "I did. N-not now. N-not important." "If you say so." Gyo sounded doubtful, but he let the matter drop.

The theory he'd put forward occupied Karik's thoughts for a little while, but when they came to the public menagerie, he forgot about it in the excitement of hearing the sounds of wild animals from within. The attendant collected the small fee from them, giving Karik several smaller coins in return for a rina, and then ushered them inside. There had been a menagerie on the spot for a hundred years or so, Kei had told them, for public amusement and to store gifts and oddities brought to the Rulers. But more recently, the academy was using it to see what animals from other lands could be made to breed and live successfully in Darshian. There was a similar one set up in the south, he said. Karik had little idea what to expect. What they got were cages of birds and animals set in a rather pretty garden. Fully-grown carchos prowled back and forth behind the bars, and other fierce looking predators that Karik had never heard of, let alone seen before. There were people of all races looking at the beasts – he guessed that maybe the Andonese or the Prij might have some idea about what they were, but he didn't know how to ask them. "Look, there's that boy again," Gyo said, tugging on Karik's sleeve. He looked, and so it was – the Prijian boy was crouched in front of a cage of brightly coloured songbirds, making whistling noises at them and feeding them bits of fruit from his pocket. Karik and Gyo watched him for a few minutes, until he stood and turned. He saw them and to Karik's surprise, seemed to recognise them. He grinned and walked over to them, saying something in Prijian. "I'm ssorry, I d-don't speak it," Karik explained. The boy did a double take. "Really? Sorry – I'm Jembis." He held out his hand and they each shook it politely. "But you must be Prijian. What's your name?" "K-Karik. This is G-Gyo." Jembis cocked his head. "Hmmm, 'Karik' doesn't sound Prijian, but you don't look Darshianese." "Karik's adopted – his parents are really Prijian, but he lives in Ai-Albon. Where's your lizard?" Karik wished Gyo had kept his mouth shut, but it was too late. "He's back on the ship, I didn't want him eaten," Jembis said with a grin. "Adopted? I never heard of any Darshianese adopting a Prijian boy before. Did they steal you from your mother or something?"

"No!" Karik said, now really irritated. "Well?" "He doesn't know," Gyo said helpfully. "We know who his Ma is, but not his Pa." "S-shut up, Gyo," Karik snapped. "It's nuh-none of his b-business." "Sorry," Jembis said, and looked it. "I don't want to cause a fight between you. So why are you in Darshek if you live in Ai-Albon?" This was less contentious ground and Gyo was happy to explain. "His Pa and my uncle are traders, only his Pa got hurt so my Pa came up with uncle Risa, and we're helping them." "Oh, so it's your first time in Darshek? Do you like it?" "Y-yes. Y-you live h-here?" "No, not really. I don't live anywhere – my father owns a ship and we travel up and down the coast taking cargo. Right now he's buying animals for nobles in Utuk – I'm the one who has to look after them on the journey." Gyo's eyes were big. "Really? What animals?" "Oh, we have tuktuks and little birds, some tewi cubs...." "T-tewi?" He pointed at a cage where a dark red-furred animal with huge claws was walking back and forth, snarling at the visitors. "That's a tewi – they come from Andon. Really fierce. We're only taking the cubs, and some carcho kittens. I've been taming them, hand feeding them. They take a lot of work." "I'd love to do something like that," Gyo said with a sigh. "All I ever do is look after plants." "Well, why don't you come along to our ship and I'll show you." "On a ship? Karik, do you think it would be all right?"

Karik's instinct was to say no – they didn't know this boy at all, and they'd been told to keep away from the inns on the dock. "You kn-know what Mi-Misek said. N-no inns." "But it's just a ship, like Aito's – I went there yesterday and it was fine," Gyo argued. "You'll be safe enough – we don't need to go near the inns," Jembis said. "We're leaving soon so it's your last chance – we don't trade wild animals that often and you'll be going home, I guess." "Please, Karik?" His instincts still wanted to refuse, but Gyo's life was so dull, and this was his adventure as much as Karik's. It wasn't his place to deny Gyo just on instinct. And Karik would like to see young tewis. "All ri-right. J-just for an hour. B-but I wuh-want to see the m-men-menagerie." "Sure!" Now Gyo had his agreement, he was all smiles again. "Jembis, do you know what these animals are?" It turned out that Jembis was very knowledgeable about animals from all over Periter – while his father only carried them occasionally, they had many friends who were animal traders and hunters. He always visited the menagerie when their ship was in port. He knew how the collection had been built and why there were young animals in some of the cages, clearly born in the menagerie itself. "They never used to breed them at all, but they decided it was cheaper if they could, and the visitors like to see the babies too. They had to build bigger cages though – these are the old ones, the bigger ones are over there." Karik, who had found the small dark cages they'd seen up to then rather distressing, was pleased at the larger enclosures. One of the carchos had two half grown kittens with her, while her mate prowled protectively at the front of the cage. "He's huge," Gyo said, sounding awed. "He's overfed," Jembis said dismissively. "He was one of the first ones they ever bred here. I remember seeing him the first time I came here. She's wild caught, though. They haven't had any luck with the tewis – we still have to get cubs from the wild." "The m-mother?"

"Well, they have to kill her to take the cubs," he explained. At their look of horror, he shrugged. "It's the only way – full-grown tewis are just too dangerous to try and catch – you can drug the babies once you catch them, but the adults are impossible. All the ones you see here were caught the same way, as cubs, and raised in the menagerie. Maybe that's what happened to you, Karik – your mother was too dangerous and they took you off her." Karik scowled, not caring for the joke at all. "His Ma's a noble, Arman said. I think she's Arman's sister." "G-Gyo!" "It's all right, Karik, I won't say anything. A noble, huh? Is she rich?" "Arman's Pa is rich," Gyo said. "Gyo, th-that's enough. Wuh-we d-don't know she's his s-sister." "Sounds like this Arman is keeping a lot of secrets from you, Karik – are you sure you trust him? Maybe he's trying to keep your inheritance from you, if your mother's family are rich." Karik turned to glare at both of them. "I d-don't want to t-talk about it. I-I-if you k-keep it uh-up, I'll ll-leave." Gyo took his arm. "I'm sorry, Ka-chi. I won't mention it again." "Don't get all upset, Karik, it's just talking. Come on, they've got pesquils over there, and I love watching them getting fed." Karik was too cross with his friend and their new companion to enjoy watching the lively pesquils at first, but Gyo was so eager to placate him, and the little birds were so funny with their antics and squabbling, that he felt his bad mood dissipating. It helped that Jembis had stopped talking about his family and was instead regaling them with tales of a pet pesquil he had as a child. As they walked away from the cages, Gyo asked Jembis, "So does your mother live on the ship too?" "No, my mother died when I was three. My father never remarried – he's got a woman in Utuk we stay with, but I don't like her," he said with a scowl. "So you don't have any brothers or sisters?"

"No. Just me and my father." Karik, who had still been feeling rather annoyed at Jembis, now was a little sorry for him – at least Karik had always had two parents to love and protect him. Maybe this was the explanation as to why the older boy was so fascinated by his history. He didn't seem to be malicious, just curious, and he had been very amiable the way he'd taken the time to show the menagerie and explain the habits of the animals. He seemed very eager to be friends with them, as if his life was lacking in companionship. The menagerie itself wasn't very large, but by the time they had seen all the animals, and Jembis had told them all about each species, it was well past noon, and both Karik and Gyo were hungry. Jembis said he knew the best pie seller in Darshek, and certainly the hot pastries were very good. That and a big piece of melon they bought from another stall allayed hunger pangs and their thirst. It had begun to drizzle, so the plan of visiting Jembis' ship now seemed a good idea. They got a lift to the docks on a cart carrying bean sacks, and in a few minutes were let off near where the tall ships were being loaded with cargo. "That's ours," Jembis said, pointing. The ship was somewhat smaller than others waiting at the dock, but Gyo was still very taken with it. "When I'm older, I want to sail a ship," he said. "Just once, maybe to Urshek." "Maybe y-you'll get ss-seasick," Karik said to tease him. "Don't be mean, Ka-chi. Jembis, do you get sick?" "Sometimes, but I just take some nerf leaf and just sleep it away. It's only if there's really bad weather." "N-nerf leaf?" "It grows in Andon – the animal traders use it to keep their catches quiet while they're moving them about. It makes them sleepy if they eat it. Some of the sailors smoke it but it makes a horrible stink. Father won't let them do that on board." Karik nodded, making a note to mention it to Kei when he saw him that evening. It wasn't something his mother had ever mentioned so perhaps it was new to them both.

There were only a couple of men on deck who waved to Jembis as they came up the gangway. He let Karik and Gyo look around a little but seemed eager to get them below deck. "We don't want to be in the way when the last cargo is loaded. Besides, I need to feed the tewi cubs, and put water in with the birds." Fascinating as the boat was, Karik was much more excited by the idea of seeing the infant tewis. He could smell the animals before they came down the stairs to the lower deck, and hear the mewing and growling of baby carnivores. Jembis called to his charges quietly, soothing them with his voice. "There's a couple of rich nobles in Utuk who want tame tewis and carchos in their gardens. I think they're crazy, but they're paying so we just do what they want. I just get them used to me handling them so they don't attack humans. They think I'm their mother," he joked. There were jombekers in the hold to provide food for the babies, and Jembis got them to help him milk three of the she-animals. To Karik's delight, he was allowed to hand feed one of the tewi cubs – its eyes were still blue, but its teeth were very sharp even at such a young age. Somehow he didn't think the idea of a fully grown tewi or carcho wandering loose sounded very sensible, even a socalled tame one, but the cubs and kits were cute and affectionate, very greedy for the milk and scraps of meat. Not long after they started the long task of feeding the animals, there were loud shouts from up on deck, and the boat shuddered, much to Karik and Gyo's alarm. Jembis assured them it was just the boat shifting as it was loaded and said that as long as they kept below deck, they'd be fine. "I usually just hide down here until it's all done, otherwise I get asked to lift stuff," he said, winking at them. As they worked, he started to speculate in a general way about Karik's Prijian past. Karik tried to be polite, not wanting to interrupt the enjoyable time they were otherwise having by telling Jembis to shut up, but the conversation made him uncomfortable, even though Jembis wasn't actually asking him for more information. The older boy finally seemed to pick up on his discomfort, and changed the subject. Karik really wished Gyo had kept his mouth shut, and resolved to have a word with his friend when they left the ship. He was sure Arman would be cross if he knew the history of Karik's birth was being spread about. They spent easily two hours feeding the animals, admiring the birds, helping Jembis clean the cages and putting oil on the feet of some of the tuktuks and other birds. The whole time the boat rocked and swayed, but they were getting used to the movement and after a while Karik ceased to note it. Jembis said it was normal, and seemed unconcerned.

However, it was probably getting late. "Wuh-we should g-go," he said, handing back the last bird to Jembis. "If you like, but have some tea before you go? It's Andonese – you won't have had it before. I've got some cakes too." Gyo seized on the idea enthusiastically. "We've got time for that, Karik. I'm thirsty." Karik nodded – a little delay would do no harm, so long as they got back soon. "Good," Jembis said with a bright smile. "Here, keep playing with these, they need to get as used to people as they can, and to handling. I won't be long – I just need to go to the galley." As Jembis left, Gyo explained with his superior experience from Aito's ship, that the galley was the ship's kitchen. "Maybe we can have a look around before we go? They must have finished the cargo loading by now." Karik was bothered by something. "The boat's still moving." "Aito's ship bobbed up and down too. Not like this, but this is a smaller boat, so that's probably why." Karik accepted the explanation, because he had no knowledge of such matters. Still, the longer they were on the ship, the more anxious he was to go. He was beginning to feel very sorry for the animals in their little cages, and worried about the fate of the tewi in his lap. It was one thing to take its chances in the forests of Andon, but to be a plaything for a rich man, and maybe ending up shot by an archer when it became too dangerous – it seemed wrong to him. Carchos belonged in the open spaces too. He decided he really didn't like zoos or cages, not unless there was a reason other than entertainment. Jembis was only a matter of minutes. "I hope you like it sweet – the flavour's very strong but it's good with honey. Sailors swear by it," he said with a wink, handling them metal mugs and setting down a sack of cakes which the baby tewi Karik was holding immediately wanted. Jembis picked it up by the scruff of its neck and wagged a finger in its face. "Don't be greedy, you just had your milk. Come on, drink up, Gyo. Then you can tell your Pa you're a real sailor." Gyo took a gulp and then coughed. "Oh.... It's strong." "Only way to drink it – have a cake with it."

Karik sipped his – it was pungent, not entirely pleasant, but it tasted better than it smelled. With the sweet cakes, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't something he was keen to try again. "N-not h-having any?" "I could only carry two mugs," Jembis said with a shrug. "I'll have some when you go – there's always some in a pot in the galley." He urged them to eat more of the cakes, and to finish the big mugs of tea. When they were done, he took the mugs from them. "Oh, I forgot I have to show you the lizard." Gyo stood, and immediately sat down again. "I feel dizzy," he muttered. Karik went to help him, but he felt as if the ground was no longer solid under his feet. "We need to go," he said slowly, his tongue feeling thick in his mouth. The tea seemed to have numbed it. "Maybe you're feeling a little seasick from the rocking. Come and sit on the haystack for a minute," Jembis said. "No, wuh-want fr-fresh air...." Karik swayed, and would have fallen except for Jembis catching him. "Karik!" Gyo cried as Jembis helped Karik over to the sacks of straw. Karik wanted to reassure him but he found he could hardly speak or keep his eyes open. "Drug...." "No, seasickness. Just rest." He struggled to open his eyes, to glare at Jembis. "Tea...drug...." "Just take it easy, boys," Jembis said and the next minute, Gyo was lying next to Karik. "Scared...." Gyo whispered in a slurred voice. "You'll be fine. I'll go get my father." That was the most reassuring thing Jembis had said. Karik had to close his eyes again because the hold was swirling around him. His limbs felt heavy and he couldn't even seem to move his fingers. He knew this had to be a drug, but right

then, he couldn't bring himself to care. All he wanted to do was curl up and sleep.  

 

Chapter 7 It was the cold that woke him up, but even though he knew immediately that he was far from safe, he found it hard to make his limbs obey him. He realised he was still suffering from the after-effects of a drug, but that same drug seemed to be muting the anger and worry that he knew he was feeling, albeit distantly. It was dark, wherever they were, but there was the golden glow of a lamp to his left. He turned his head, and saw the familiar outline of Gyo's head. Karik made himself lift his arm and push feebly at Gyo's shoulder. "Wuh-wake up." His voice sounded all slurred, his tongue feeling too large in his mouth. "Gyo...." He kept pushing and calling his friend's name until he got a grunt and a mumbled complaint. "Go 'way." "Gyo, wuh-wake up. It seemed to take forever, but finally Gyo flopped over. "Oh...pissing hell." Bigger than Karik, or maybe just naturally better able to flush whatever the hell it was out of his system, he seemed a little more alert, sitting up slowly, and helping Karik do the same. "Wha...Jembis! Where are we?" "Ship." Karik felt quite woolly headed, but he knew he had to wake up more than he was. Jembis had drugged them for a reason and until they knew what it was, and how they could get out of this situation, it was very dangerous. "Come on." Gyo helped him get to his feet, but Karik found it hard to stay on them. He gulped back the sudden nausea and took several deep breaths to try and clear his head. Gyo began to haul him bodily towards the stairs, but suddenly bright light filled the hold, making them both shade their eyes. A shadow blocked the light. "Oh, you're awake." Karik squinted. Jembis actually sounded relieved. "Wh-what did you do to us?" "Nothing! Just...some nerf leaf in your tea – it's harmless," he said hastily as Gyo raised his fist. Karik forced himself to straighten up. "Why?" Gyo demanded. "It was just a joke," Jembis said, less than convincingly. "You're not sick or anything, are you?" "No, but you will be if I get my hands on you," Gyo said, surging forward.

Karik managed to restrain him, sensing that it was better for them to just get out of here and away from this erratic boy who was looking at them with a mixture of concern and puzzlement, as if he really couldn't understand why they were angry. Clearly, there was something broken in Jembis' head, but it wasn't Karik's problem and the sooner he was away from them, and Karik and Gyo had cleared this wretched nerf leaf from their bodies, the better. "Wuh-we're going." Jembis pushed in front of him. "You can't...." "Wuh-why not?" "You can't, Karik...." "Get out of our way, Jembis," Gyo said in a determined voice. Jembis sighed and stepped away. His heart thumping hard, Karik let Gyo help him up the stairs to the deck. It was his friend who realised first that something was badly wrong. "Karik, look! Gods, no!" Karik saw what had terrified Gyo – the same sight cleared his mind faster than a bucket of cold water in the face. They weren't at the dockside anymore – they weren't even in the harbour any more. The sun was in the wrong position too, and with horror, he realised that it must be in the east, not the west – which meant they had been on the boat all night. It was the dawn of a new day – and they must be many miles from Darshek. He whirled and glared at Jembis. "What have you done?" Gyo was even more direct – he grabbed the other boy's shirt and began to shake him. "Take us back! I want to go home!" Jembis held up his hand helplessly. "Can't. Now you just have to stay until we get to Utuk." "No! Take us home – Karik, make him take us back!" They had to speak to the captain, Karik realised. "Wuh-where's your Pa? Wuhwe need to s-see him n-now." "He's busy...." Gyo shook him. "You liar! Go get him! I want to go home!"

"Jembis?" Karik turned – a tall, heavyset man was walking towards them, looking rather angry. He starting shouting at Jembis in Prijian, and at them, but of course they had no idea what he was saying. Jembis answered back, the man shouted at him again and cuffed him hard across the head, sending him staggering. "You boys are stowaways. You are stealing passage on my ship." "We're not!" Gyo shouted back. "Your son tricked us – I want to go home!" "He says you wanted to go to Utuk to see this boy's mother." Oh, gods.... "N-no, he tricked us," Karik said, trying to keep calm, but unable to stop the tremor in his voice. "S-said wuh-we h-had to wuh-wait below. We want to g-go home. P-please." The captain scowled, while his son cowered against the stairs. "I'm not going to turn the damn ship around to please you, boy. You'll have to go to Utuk and find passage back. Your mother can help you. This one can speak to the embassy." "No, please, I want to go back, Karik...." Gyo was crying now. Karik put his arm around him to comfort him. "I don't want to go to Utuk." "Should have thought about that before you came on board without my permission. Keep out of my way, or I'll have you thrown overboard." He said something harsh-sounding to Jembis who nodded, and then stalked off. Karik glared at Jembis. "Wuh-why? Why did you d-do this?" He held his hands out appeasingly. "Because I thought you wanted to know about your family. Everyone should know who their father is." "You h-have no right. G-Gyo's n-not Prijian." Gyo looked scared and utterly miserable. "Karik, please help us get home," he whispered. "What about that woman, the mind-speaker – can she hear you?" His mind was working too damn slowly – of course! Neka! He didn't know if she could hear him, but he tried calling her name in his mind as 'loudly' as he could. Neka! Help me! But there was no answer – they had to be too far from Darshek. Karik pushed Gyo off him and ran after the captain who was talking to one of his men. "Pplease help us."

The man turned and glared. "I told you I would have you put over the side if you annoyed me, boy. What's your father's name?" "R-Reji, and M-Ma is J-Jena." "Those aren't Prijian names. Why does Jembis think you want to visit your mother in Utuk?" "I d-don't." The captain frowned at him. "I don't have time for this, boy," he growled. "Do you have a Prijian mother or not? You must do with that colouring. What's her name?" Karik didn't want to say, considering how much grief revealing this information had given him to this point, but he felt he had no choice. "Sei M-Mayl." The captain went very still and the sailor he was talking to suddenly looked horrified. "You don't by any chance mean the stepmother of her Serenity's consort, do you?" Karik had no idea who or what they were talking about. "I d-d-don't know. Shshe's a ss-senator's daughter. That's uh-all I know." The two men spoke together rapidly in Prijian and the captain rapped out an order which sent his man hurrying off. Then he called to his son who came over with Gyo close behind him. As Jembis approached, he got a hard slap to the face which made him cry out. "You damn boy, do you realise what you've done? This boy is kin to her Serenity! If she hears he's been mistreated...." The captain turned to Karik and smiled, giving him a little bow. "My apologies, my young sir, for my stupid son. He's rather impulsive, but he means no harm." Karik blinked and looked at Gyo. The abrupt change in attitude seemed rather amazing. "Then yuh-you'll take us huh-home?" He wrung his hands a little. "I can't, I'm sorry – we're eighteen hours out of port and I have to get my cargo to Utuk. But we'll make you boys comfortable until we reach Kuplik and then you can return with us." "I want to go home now," Gyo said suddenly. "His mother will be more angry if you don't take us back."

Jembis muttered something and there was a short, angry exchange between father and son. Then Jembis said something else – Karik didn't care for the speculative look that came over the captain's face. "He says you were taken from your mother by General Arman – you realise that man is a scandal in Kuprij, a traitor to our people. If I take you back to him, I think your mother will be more angry with me than if I don't. No, you're coming to Utuk. I think there might even be a reward in it, if General Arman took you away wrongfully. You'll be well looked after, I promise. I've given orders to free up one of the officer's cabins. Jembis can wait on you." Karik grabbed the man's shirt to plead with him. "No, p-please, I d-don't want to g-go to Utuk!" His hands were detached with ease, and the false politeness and smile disappeared in an instant. The captain's expression was now cold and hard – and held no pity at all. "That's too bad, because you're going. Jembis, look after our valuable guests." And then he turned on his heel and walked off. Karik rounded on Jembis. "You b-bastard! You puh-planned this!" He wasn't prone to violence but his fists itched to find an outlet for his fury and panic. "I didn't, I really didn't, I'm sorry," Jembis said, cringing away from their anger. "I just wanted to have some company for a change and you like the animals. Gyo, you said you wanted to go on a ship and I thought Karik might want to see his mother. I didn't think of the rest of it, that's Father!" "You liar," Gyo spat. "Karik, please, I want to go back. You have to make him change his mind." "He won't," Jembis said, shaking his head emphatically. "Once he thinks he can make some money, that's all that matters. Money's more important to him than I am," he added bitterly. "I'm really sorry – I just thought it would be fun." "You d-drugged us," Karik said, fixing him with a fierce glare. "You had it all pplanned ow-out." "I just didn't want you to panic – I didn't realise you'd sleep all night. Please don't be mad at me – it was only meant to be a little fun. It gets lonely without anyone to talk to." Looking at him, Karik realised he was really rather pathetic – bullied by his father who really seemed not to care anything for him except as an extra hand on

board, and having nothing but the animals for company. He put his arm around Gyo's waist. "Wuh-we'll just ha-have to go, G-Gyo." Gyo began to shake. Karik led him over to a hatch cover and made him sit, holding him close while he wept and wishing he could cry too. But he knew he had to be brave. It was his fault this had happened – he should never have mentioned any of Arman's revelations to Gyo, and at least should have warned him not to talk about it to anyone else. He still felt queasy and rather dizzy from the drug, but it could have been the ship's motion. He had no idea. He put his hand over the tero stone around his neck and clutched it tight. He really wanted his Ma and Pa right now.

"Anything?" Neka shook her head at Arman's question, seeming on the verge of tears. "I can't hear them at all. I'm so sorry, Arman, Misek." Jera held her closer and Kei patted her hand. Across from her, Misek looked devastated, while his brother's mouth was turned down in a grim line. "Then they really must be on a ship." "Or they're dead," Misek said, his voice breaking. "Gods, Gyo.... What will I tell his mother?" "I don't think they're dead, Mis," Kei said in the same even tones Arman had heard him use with hysterical patients. "They could just be asleep somewhere, worn out from all the sight-seeing." Misek gave Kei a sceptical look. "All right, maybe not, but they won't be dead, damn it – how many murders do we have in Darshek in any year? One, two at most? And those are always the result of arguments." "It doesn't have to be murder, Kei, just an accident – they were at the docks, they could have drowned or been crushed...." Kei reached over and took his hand. "No, Mis, they couldn't. Tiko and his men have been all over the docks and nothing's been reported – you know how busy they are, someone would have seen for sure. We know they were with this

Prijian lad – I bet you anything they decided to stay a bit too long on a ship, or fell asleep, or something completely innocent. I'm sure they're all right." "You don't know that," Misek said, eyes red and weary from his long night. "Please, Arman, there must be something we can do." "There is, but not now, Misek. In the morning, we'll alert the Andonese and Prijian embassies to be on the look out for the boys. I'll find out what ships left harbour today. Tiko will keep looking in case they're just asleep, as Kei said – or maybe fallen ill or something. I'm sure they're not dead," he said firmly. "Not both of them, and if anything had happened to one, Neka would have heard from the other, or someone would have. But you need to get some sleep, my friend. We all do. There's things we can do, but we need daylight." "I'll keep listening, Misek," Neka said quietly. "We all will, and I'll make sure every mind-speaker in Darshek is on the look out for them." Kei got up and went around to Misek. "Go to bed, Mis. It's long past midnight." He pulled his friend into a close embrace. "I'm sorry about this." "It's my fault, Kei, I should never have let them out of my sight. How will I tell Reji?" "Listen to me. It's as much my fault as anyone's, since they're in my home, but it's no one's fault – boys that age wander all over Darshek every day. It's completely safe, you know that. As for Reji...." Kei looked at Arman. "Let's not tell them yet, all right? Neka, it would be cruel to do that, until we have some news. They'll just worry pointlessly and the boys could be back here tomorrow." Neka nodded. "I agree. I won't tell her and I'll make sure she doesn't hear from this end. But Kei, what if she asks to speak to him?" "She won't ask for a couple of days since she spoke to him yesterday. We'll have news soon, I feel it in my bones. Jera, please go home, both of you. Thank you so much for what you've done." "I wish it could have been more," Neka said with regret. She stood and came to Misek's side, gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I'm sorry, Misek." He gave her a one-armed embrace, and accepted one from Jera. "Thank you." The Gifted left, and Kei managed to persuade Misek and Risa to go to bed. Arman followed him into their own bedroom, and waited until they were

undressed and under the covers before he said what he had not dared say to Misek. "You know there's something else, another factor here – Mayl." Kei turned to him. "You can't believe she's behind this – how could she possibly have arranged it in a couple of days? She wouldn't have known he was here." "No, but there are bound to be Prijian spies here. We can't ignore what family she married into, Kei, or the feelings of those she's close to." "Would they harm Gyo, just to get Karik?" "You know they would." "Gods." Kei huddled closer, in obvious need of comfort. "I don't know what to say to Misek. I feel so guilty, Arman – one of us should have been with them. I could have made myself available." Arman stroked down Kei's braid in a soothing gesture. "You said it yourself – the city is safe and it is. I should have thought of this, if anyone." "But if they've gone to Utuk.... We can get them back, yes?" "Gyo, certainly. It depends on who knows what about Karik, and how important they think that is. I'll get Lord Meki to speak to Yuko in Utuk tomorrow. The biggest card we have is that the Prij won't want to anger the Rulers, not overtly – so if I can convince Lord Meki to make it clear Karik is under his personal protection, that will help. That's assuming they're on their way to Utuk or anywhere at all." He sighed and rubbed his eyes. They'd been frantic for hours, every since he'd got back after sunset and Kei realised the boys, who had not come home, weren't with him. The army had been notified, Tiko recruited as a safe pair of hands to lead the search, the menagerie director questioned as had been his staff. Karik's distinctive appearance had made him memorable, and once Neka had been brought in, it had been relatively easy to discover that the Prijian boy they'd been seen with at the menagerie had also been seen with them at the docks. The boy was known to people at the port, as was his father's ship, but because it had all been very late by the time this had all been found out, as yet it hadn't been possible to determine where the ship was going, or if the boys were likely to be on it. Arman had a strong feeling that his conversation with Karik the day before was somehow connected with their disappearance. If that was the case, then the boy

hadn't kept his word not to make enquiries, which was more than disappointing. But whatever his views, Karik was important to those Arman loved and cared for. Arman would do whatever he could do to get him home, the same as if the boy really were his son. He just hoped the lads had decided to take a nap somewhere and turned up sheepish and apologetic tomorrow. If they didn't...things could get very unpleasant indeed.

Gyo didn't cry for long. There wasn't any point, really, since what was done was done. After only a few minutes holding onto Karik, he sat up and blew his nose. "I guess it's a bit like what happened to Ma," he said in a shaky voice. "Y-yes. Wuh-we need to be b-brave." Gyo sniffed again. "Pa is going to go crazy with worry. Yours too. I'm sorry, Kachi. This is my fault. I should have kept my mouth shut. I just didn't think this would happen." Karik patted his shoulder, even though it really would have been better if he had kept quiet. "N-No one could kn-know. Th-they wuh-won't hurt us. Wuh-when we g-get to U-Utuk, you g-go to the eh-embassy." "You too, Karik. I don't care what that bastard says, you belong to Reji and Jena, not some strange bitch in Utuk." Then Gyo looked at him and blushed. "I, uh... she's your mother...." "It's a-all right. Sh-she's nuh-nothing to me." "What did he mean, 'stepmother'? And what's a consort?" "D-don't know." Karik knew what 'her Serenity' was – that was the title of the sovereign of the Prij. If the captain thought he was some kind of relative of the ruler, no wonder he thought there was money involved. "G-Gyo, wuh-when we g-get to U-Utuk, we have to l-lie. S-say it's a j-joke." "You mean, tell them she's not your mother?" Karik nodded. "I can do that. Jembis will get into trouble with his Pa, though." "T-too bad. D-don't trust him."

"Neither do I. I'm really scared, Ka-chi." Karik could feel him trembling. He hugged Gyo a little closer. "I'm here," he whispered. "We j-just need to stay together."

Misek was up with the dawn, Arman wasn't in the least surprised to see, even though that meant he had only got about four hours sleep. He and his brother looked haggard, and Pira, red-eyed herself, fussed over them. Everyone was punishing themselves for letting the boys out of their sight, but Arman knew the blame was almost certainly fairly and squarely on his own shoulders. For Misek's sake, he put on a firm, confident expression, and spoke in authoritative tones about how simple things would be if the boys were, as they now suspected, on a ship to Utuk. It seemed to do a little good. Kei said he would stay with his friends, and keep in touch with matters via Neka and the other mind-speakers. He urged Arman to go to the Rulers' House and do what he could. Despite the early hour, he was surprised to see Tiko waiting for him at the House. It looked as if the captain hadn't got to sleep at all, but he had news. "That Prijian boy's father owns a ship called the 'Tears of Lady Punis', and it was taking a load of wild animals from Andon to Utuk. It stopped here to pick up other cargo and a few caged birds. What do you think are the chances the boys went on board to look at the animals, and either forgot the time or were forced to stay?" "Quite high. Good work, Tiko." Arman had known their friend would come through for them. "Will you keep searching? I don't want to assume that's where they went, although it seems most likely – it's just possible they wandered off to look at something, or got persuaded to leave Darshek by some other route, even back up through the pass." "Of course. Two other ships left yesterday evening, both bound for Andon port. I've already arranged for four of my men to take the next ship headed that way to make enquiries at that end, but I'm not really expecting them to find anything. Is Kei at the house?" Arman nodded. "And Misek and Risa too. They're out of their minds with worry."

"Can you blame them?" Tiko said with a grim look. "If it was my grandson or daughter gone missing, I'd be frantic. Will his lordship order a ship to try and intercept this boat out of Utuk?" "I doubt it. Leave that to me, Tiko. Thank you," Arman said, clapping the man on the shoulder. "I know Kei's grateful too." "I'll try and stop by today. I'll turn the search over to my lieutenant and get some sleep, but I'll be back on it this afternoon. Damn it, this shouldn't happen to Darshianese children." Arman didn't reply to that, since sixteen years before, he'd been personally responsibly for removing boys and girls Gyo's age from their homes – something Tiko was well aware of. But Tiko refrained from pointing it out, and as he left, Arman knew he would be as good as his word and the search of Darshek would be thorough. Although it was looking more and more likely that the boys were on the 'Tears of Lady Punis', they could also be on another ship headed almost anywhere. That was something he needed Lord Meki's help with. The Ruler was sympathetic and listened carefully to Arman's briefing. Arman put Tiko's question to him, but as he suspected, Lord Meki refused, albeit with obvious regret. "We simply can't, Arman. It could be seen as an act of war if we have to force the ship to stop, and though this is a personal tragedy for your friends, I won't risk sailors or the peace for them when we have other avenues to pursue. We're not even completely sure they're even on the boat. I'm sorry, but no." "I thought you would say that. But the embassy, you'll contact them?" He nodded. "I'll do it immediately and make it clear this is a matter of personal importance." But Arman had more to tell him. "Meki, Karik's mother, my former wife – she remarried. Her husband is Senator Mekus, who is the father of Prijus, the husband of the Prijian sovereign." The Ruler was looking at him as if he was wondering why Arman was giving him a genealogy lesson. "He's Karik's real father, though he would never claim him." Lord Meki drew in a sharp breath and looked truly irritated. "And you never thought to ever mention this to me before?" "I'm sorry, I never thought it was important and since...since speaking of the matter is not something I enjoy...."

He made a sharply dismissive gesture at Arman's words. "So, not only is this boy Prijian, he's related to the crown by marriage? Arman, do you realise how this complicates things?" "Yes, I do," he answered, accepting Lord Meki's annoyance as only just. "I don't know that Karik's mentioned it, or that it's got anything to do with his disappearance, but there's a possibility – a strong one – that it does." Lord Meki sighed. "Blessed gods. Well, for now, we can only do as we've planned to do – try to make sure the boys are met directly off the ship and put on the first boat back, if that's where they end up. I'll promise financial reimbursement if that becomes an issue. And we just will have to damn well hope no one finds out who he really is. I knew this matter would come back to haunt you, Arman. I believe I said so at the time." Arman bowed his head. "Yes, you did. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told Karik about his mother at all." "It's too late for that now," Lord Meki said impatiently. "Let me speak to Neka now." Since communication with Utuk meant using the network of mind-speakers in Darshian (and care had to be taken to avoid broadcasting the bad news to Jena), the conversation with the embassy took some time. The ambassador was told to keep things as discreet and low-key as he could, to keep the boys in the embassy itself and to arrange passage home for them as soon as he could. The ambassador promised to have someone at the docks constantly from the earliest possible arrival in seven days' time, so that the 'Tears of Lady Punis' wouldn't slip in unnoticed. Lord Meki thanked Neka and ended the conversation. "I'll send a letter to the Andon embassy with Captain Tiko's men as well. But now we wait, or rather your poor friends wait. I feel for their pain, Arman. Please tell them if we can do anything else, we will." "Thank you, I will. Knowing that we've put these arrangements in place will help." "One hopes so. Right, now you go back and be with them." "I can...."

Lord Meki held up a hand. "No. Your friends need you, so does Kei. See this as training for when you're a Ruler, Arman. You're not indispensable, or if you are, we're doing something wrong." Arman huffed impatiently. "You're supposed to be resting, Meki. I promised Kei you would be taking it easier from now on." "I am, Arman. I haven't got any meetings today, and all I was going to do was look over reports in my personal rooms." "Then you need me here to deal with enquiries...." "We have a staff who can deal with those. Take your own advice and go. At the very least you can help these fellows finish their business here. We'll speak tomorrow, but until those boys are located, I expect you to spend more time with them than with me. That's an order." Arman made an ironic salute. "Yes, my lord. Thank you for your consideration." He chafed at being ordered to leave his duties aside – he couldn't see how he could help Misek and Risa by just sitting around and being worried with them – but there was no doubt when he returned to the house, that Kei was glad to see him back. Misek and Risa looked much as they had when he'd left, Pira hovering anxiously and trying to offer comfort. It wasn't doing any of them any good, he thought with some impatience, but when he passed on the reports to the brothers, he fancied they were a little less worn looking, a little more hopeful. He portrayed things as positively as possible, and carefully refrained from mentioning anything to do with Mayl or the sovereign. If that became pertinent, it would only affect Karik, so there was no point in worrying Misek about his own son. Risa cleared his throat. "Kei, we really should tell Jena and Reji now. They have a right to know, and besides, Jena might hear accidentally from the other mindspeakers." Kei started and looked rather as if he hadn't thought of that. "True, but I would spare them the worry." "Tell them," Misek said heavily. "I'd want to know, even though it means worrying. I'd be angry if I found out it had been concealed from me." "Are you sure, Mis?" Kei asked gently. "It's not like they can do anything."

"Nor can I, but at least their friends can help them." He managed to scrape up the ghost of a smile onto his battered face. "And they'll know how much you're trying to do." "Arman? I think you and I should tell them together." Arman agreed that was the best approach. "Misek, there's something else. Risa, I think you should head back to the village soon as you can...." "No, I need to stay with Mis...." Misek held his hand up. "No, Risa, I think I know what he means. When the boys get back, they'll not want to spend weeks on the road, and if they are in Utuk, it will mean a delay of at least two weeks before you leave. You know AiAlbon needs the stores." He looked at Arman. "Though I can't leave, Arman. I just can't. But Risa can't manage four wagons on his own or even just with me." "Yes, I know. We can arrange help for him from the barracks, and when Gyo and Karik come back, we can send the rest of you all home on a fast cart. With any luck, you'll arrive home just after Risa, but the boys won't have the strain of a long journey." "You can do that? It would really help." Risa laid his hand on his brother's shoulder. "Mis, I really don't like the idea of leaving you here on your own." "I'm not on my own, Risa-ki – I have Kei and Arman. There's Vikis and Kesa too if I need a shoulder to cry on. Reji and Jena need you, and the village needs the goods." Pira set a pot of tea down on the table and looked down at the visitors with sympathy in her lined features. "We'll do everything to help you, Misek," she said quietly. "Let's not turn this into a bigger mess than it needs to be, Risa," Arman said, "this way the harm this will cause will be kept to a minimum. There's nothing you can do here anyway, and you know it." Kei, who'd been listening to the exchange in silence, now spoke up. "Risa, I'm guessing the boys will feel damn bad about all this when they get back – it will only make it worse if they feel guilty over delaying your return. Mis is right –

Reji and Jena will need you there. If you don't go, then I will. I think they need someone now." "Don't be stupid, Kei, it makes no sense for you to go when I have to return there anyway," Risa said harshly. "I can't leave today or tomorrow anyway. I'm still arranging the stores." "I can help you with that," Arman said. "Just leave when you would normally. I'm just saying that to delay more than that is pointless." "I'll be all right, Risa," Misek said. "Better that you get on and keep busy. I don't...." His voice caught. "I just don't think...." Risa pulled him into a hug. "It's all right, brother, I can do this without you. You have more important things to worry about. When he gets home, we nail his feet to the ground, all right? Karik's too." Arman heard Misek give a sobbed, muffled laugh against his brother's shoulder. Kei looked at Arman. "Come to the library," he said quietly, motioning in that direction with a tilt of his head. Pira nodded at them as they left – Arman knew she would look after them, feed them tea or whatever they needed. There was so little else they could do right now. Now he had no longer to keep a cheerful face on for his friends, Kei's true emotions were revealed. He looked both strained and very tired. "I don't know how I can tell them their son is missing," he murmured as Arman put his arms around him. "It will kill them." "No, it won't. It would be a different matter if Karik were dead but he's not, I'm sure he's not." Kei sighed. "Yes. Damn, I've broken worse news to people and not been this upset before, but it's different when it's someone you love." His expression became intent and a moment later, Arman heard Neka's voice in his head. Yes, Kei? Neka, we're going to tell Jena and Reji about Karik. Can you contact her? Yes, of course. The mind-speaker also sounded tired, and Arman regretted that she was having to carry so much of the burden of this matter. He rather wished

they had left it until the afternoon, but Risa was right – there was every chance Jena would hear about this accidentally. It took several minutes before Kei could begin speaking to his friend, as Jena was with a patient and wanted to wait until she was back at her house with Reji. Neka allowed Kei and Arman to 'see' them as Kei imparted the grim news. Jena listened in silence. Reji looking utterly stricken. Arman explained quickly what measures were being put in place. When Arman was finished, and Jena still didn't speak, Kei said, Jena? Are you all right? Arman saw Reji's arm slip around her waist, and there were tears in her eyes as she answered. This has been my nightmare for sixteen years, she whispered. That my son would be stolen from me. It's to do with you telling him about his mother, isn't it, Arman? We don't know, Jena. Possibly. It doesn't help, unfortunately, if he has told anyone. You should have kept it a secret, she said fiercely. I wanted to, Arman protested. I thought you both thought he needed to know the truth. Yes, and now my son is missing! Reji squeezed her a little. Jena, love, you're not being fair. Arman, I'm coming to Darshek.... You're damn well not, Reji, Arman snapped. Not only can you do no good, you'll be a positive distraction and someone else we'll need to look after. I'm sending Risa back as soon as he can manage it, and Misek will bring the boys back personally. You can't stop me coming to the capital, Arman. Just try me, Reji. This is not the time for panic or idiotic gestures. Right now, Lord Meki and I can do far more in this case than you can. We've got the army searching, Neka is working hard and the embassies in two countries are on alert. What do you think you can do that we can't? I can help Mis....

Kei looked at Arman, and Arman could tell his lover thought Reji had a point. More gently, he said, He's got Kei and me, Reji. Jena needs you there. Reji wiped his eyes. He was looking a lot older than his forty-three years. How is Misek coping? He's handling it about as well as one could ask. He's still trying to get it straight in his mind. Risa will be here for a few days. Jena, he's not said anything about telling Pia, so please don't mention it, and if you could tell Ai-Tuek not to.... Of course I will, she said roughly. Damn Prij, every time we have anything to do with them, they cause us pain. Bring my son home, Arman. I'll do my best, I swear to you. Any sacrifice, I promise. But you must promise to stay calm and not come here unless you're requested. Will you do that? Jena looked at her lover. Yes, Reji said finally. But, damn it, Arman, it goes against all my instincts. Kei spoke. I know it does, Rei-ki. But he's right, you can't do any good and you could interfere with matters quite badly. It's going to be hard enough handling Mis. Please don't add to that. Tell him we're thinking of him. Gods, Pia will go mad if she finds out. Then make sure she doesn't. We'll keep you informed of anything we learn, and if you want to talk, I'm sure Neka or one of the others will find time to let you do that. Reji gave Kei a sad smile. I'm sorry for the trouble, Keichichi. Don't be an arse, Reji. I feel bad enough as it is, I should have kept the boys here.... You couldn't, you can't, Kei. That's something I've learned the hard way. Children need freedom, just as you had, I had. Karik's a very sensible boy. I don't know how this happened, but at least Gyo's got a solid friend there. He's a good lad, a credit to you both, Kei said with a sad smile. He'll be home soon, I know he will. He cleared his throat, even though he wasn't using it to talk. Are you recovered, Rei-ki? Pretty well. I might ride up and meet Risa when I know he's left.

If you wait a week or so, you can ride out and meet the boys, Arman said. You've borne worse, both of you. I know you'll be brave now. Misek will need to know you're coping. We'll cope, Jena said grimly. But I will want a reckoning from whoever took my son, do you hear me, Arman? Yes, I do. So will I. Jena, Neka's been up all night.... I'm sure. Thank you, Neka. Thank you, Kei, Arman, she said with an uncharacteristic formality, which in Arman's experience, either meant she was very angry or very upset. Possibly both. Keep us informed, please. And then the connection, and the vision of Jena and Reji, suddenly disappeared. Thank you, Neka, Arman said, and the mind-speaker acknowledged that before she 'closed' the link. Kei gave Arman a shaky smile. "She's angry. She blames us." Arman took his hand. "I think she blames whoever took them and we're just caught in the crossfire. It'll be all right, Kei." "You can't make that promise, Arman." "I can promise to exert myself to the limit to make sure they come back. Don't underestimate my abilities, Master healer." Kei gave a little choked laugh. "Oh, I would never do that, general. I just hope you can match your boast." So do I, Arman thought. So do I.  

 

Chapter 8 It was really too cold to be on deck. Neither of them were wearing their jackets since they weren't expecting to be abducted by a rather impulsive teenager. The only crew on deck were Prijian or Andonese, and Karik couldn't really face trying to get their assistance. He just didn't trust them. Jembis was the only alternative, but Karik had no idea where he'd gone. He sat shivering in the strong wind, holding onto Gyo and wondering if there was the slightest hope this was all just a bad dream. A voice came from behind them. "Are you still mad at me?" Karik turned and frowned at Jembis. "Y-yes." "You keep away from us," Gyo said. "This is all your fault." "Yes, I know it is. I'm sorry." He came and crouched in front of them. "I thought it would be an adventure," he said miserably. "You're such nice fellows and no one's really bothered to talk to me before about the animals." "M-Maybe b-but you sh-should have ah-asked." "I know. Look, we've got a week together – can't you put this aside? Father's set me to look after you." "We don't need your help...." Gyo started to say, but Karik hushed him, because unfortunately they did. "Wuh-we're cold," he said. "Then come to the cabin," Jembis said eagerly. "I can bring you some bread and tea." "So you can drug us again?" Gyo snapped. "I won't, why would I? I swear, no more drugs." Gyo snorted with disbelief. "Y-you t-taste everything," Karik insisted. "Yes, I will. I didn't mean to hurt you," Jembis said, pleading with his eyes. Karik remained unmoved. The older boy was charming and apparently sincere, but if he hadn't told his father about Arman, the captain would not now be

thinking of trying to make money off Karik. Karik found it hard to forgive him for that. But while they were on board this ship, he was the only ally they had, and since they really had no choice but to cooperate, it was probably best not to make the boy angry. "C-come on, Gyo." His friend was reluctant but Karik was now cold, hungry and still feeling odd from the drug. He wanted to find a place where they could be safe and warm. The cabin where they were taken was tiny, and showed signs of having been hastily vacated. "It's the first mate's cabin," Jembis explained. "Only my father has a better one." "Wuh-where do you sleep?" "In the hold, with the animals if we're carrying them or with the cargo if we aren't. I don't have a cabin of my own. I could sleep with my father but he says I'm too big for that now. I prefer the hold to that anyway." He showed them where things were stowed, the basin and the chamberpot, and then took them to the galley where they could get water and food. The cook gave them bread and tea, which Karik assumed was safe enough since they would hardly drug the entire crew. Besides, there was little point in doing that now. He took them back to the cramped little cabin – Karik and Gyo would have to share a small bed but it was no worse than camping on the trail, he supposed. "I don't have any clothes or jackets spare," Jembis said. "I guess you'll need to stay below deck. You can come and look at the animals anytime you want. I don't suppose you'll want to keep me company." "I think you should go away," Gyo said, turning his back on the older boy. "Wuh-we need time a-alone," Karik said in a more conciliatory tone. "I know. I'll be down in the hold. Anyone can help you find me – they all speak Darshianese." Did they? They would need to be careful what they talked about, Karik realised. He nodded to Jembis who finally left them alone. Karik sipped the tea – it was just ordinary tea, a bit strong, flavoured with honey, but nothing strange. The bread was hard and rather tasteless, but he was hungry. Gyo didn't seem to want to eat. "I-it'll get c-cold, Gyo."

"Don't want it. I want to go home." Karik just looked at him until he sighed and picked up his mug of tea. "I know, I'm being stupid. I'm just so mad at him." "I kn-know, but we n-need him." "Karik, what if the ship sinks? I can't swim, neither can you." "D-don't think about it. J-just drink, e-eat the bread." The last thing they needed was Gyo dreaming up all the ways this could get any worse – as if Karik needed any help to imagine that.

Much as they both wanted to hide from the crew and the captain, it simply was too boring, and the prospect of seeing the ship too fascinating. Karik knew that under other circumstances, this journey would be Gyo's idea of heaven, just as the academy had been his. If Gyo wasn't to be utterly miserable for the next seven or eight days, Karik had to encourage him to look on the positive side of things, and not to dwell on the injustice, or on how much he missed his father. For that reason, he talked Gyo into going and finding Jembis. The older boy was pathetically glad to see them, desperate for any sign he'd been forgiven, and trying so hard to make up for what he'd done, that Karik found it hard to stay angry at quite the same level of white heat as he felt on first learning of his deception. Gyo remained balky, which was no surprise, but even he let Jembis coax him into hand-feeding the baby birds, and to watching the lizards sleeping in their box. He listened politely to Jembis' tales of travelling to Andon, of life on board the ship, and even began to answer, rather warily, questions about the herbarium. The second his family was mentioned, he shut up, and Jembis quickly worked out what Gyo would and wouldn't talk about. This made for an easier time for all of them. Gyo remained wary all day and refused to let Jembis bring them food, or to join them in the cabin when night came. Karik couldn't blame him, because however much they pretended, they were both frightened and worried – and Jembis was responsible for that. Gyo ate his supper in silence, but as Karik chewed the hard ship bread, he saw a tear slip down his friend's cheek. He put his hand on Gyo's arm. "It'll b-be all right." Gyo sniffed and nodded. "I'm sorry. I want to be brave, just...." He lifted his head and looked at Karik. "Just... Ma'll cry. I hate it when she cries."

Karik put his arm around Gyo's shoulders, feeling his own eyes getting wet too. However bad it was for them, what must it be like for his parents, for Misek and Pia and Risa, not knowing what had happened to them. At least Karik and Gyo knew they were safe for now. It was seven days to Utuk. It was going to feel so much longer.

They were too tired not to sleep, and the next day was a little easier, now the shock had worn off and their anger had dulled. It was genuinely interesting to work with the captive animals, and Jembis really could be entertaining. Gyo perked up a little, even though his distrust remained. The captain spoke to them a couple of times, but Karik didn't repeat the mistake of giving the man any more personal information. The man spoke more often to his son when they were on deck, and it was clear that father and son did not enjoy a loving relationship. In fact, the captain was downright cruel to his boy, which roused Karik's sympathy and even Gyo's ire. "It's not right, no matter what he's done to us," Gyo said as they ate supper that night. "He's the only family Jembis has got. It's not right." "No," Karik agreed. He supposed it was surprising that Jembis was so sweettempered, considering, but the older boy threw himself into working with the animals, and being friendly with the crew. There was no doubt he was lonely, though. It was such a shame. In other circumstances, they would have been friends. But that wasn't possible now – not with this crime colouring everything. For four days, the trip was uneventful, and bearable. But then the sea grew rough as dark clouds gathered overhead, and the captain told them to get to their cabin and stay there. Gyo was already showing signs that his sea legs were not going to be up to worse motion. Karik was unaffected, but he was concerned for his friend, already lying on the bunk and looking pale. Jembis came in shortly afterwards. "We're in for a couple of days of bad weather, the first mate says. Oh – are you sick?" he asked Gyo. "It's only going to get worse. You'd better take...." "No drugs," Gyo said firmly, then put his hand over his mouth in a gesture Karik instantly recognised. He grabbed the chamberpot and let his friend empty his stomach. Karik was grateful that years of working with both parents had inured him to most smells and sounds, but Jembis looked green as Gyo continued puking.

Jembis went with him to dispose of the mess and spoke to Karik as he was cleaning the pot in the sluices. "Karik, he's going to be like that for days if you don't let me help." Karik looked at him with suspicion. "You j-just wuh-want to put him to sleep – but l-last time you did that, yuh-you tricked us." "I know, I know, I'm really sorry – but you don't know how bad seasickness can get. He could die if it goes on long enough," he said, earnestness in his voice which Karik found it hard to disbelieve, even with their history. "Is there nuh-nothing else?" "Only things to help replace what's been lost, but it won't stop him being sick. I swear, Karik – it's much kinder to let him sleep it out. If it gets worse, I'll be taking nerf leaf, you can bet." Karik sighed. "Give me the m-makings and tell me the d-doses. He wuh-won't accept it from you. I wuh-won't be taking it so d-don't think you c-can pull anything, Jembis." "I won't, I promise. Oh, I wish you would trust me, Karik. I'm really sorry for what I did." Well, that still didn't make Karik trust him, however sincere Jembis' regret seemed. Jembis took him to the small apothecary store where drugs for men and animals alike were kept. "You can take it by mouth, but it tastes horrible. Tea with lots of honey is better – make it strong, and it's good if he's been puking. If he can't take things by mouth, um...." Karik wondered why he seemed so embarrassed. "Well, you can...." He made a gesture that puzzled Karik – until he suddenly realised. "By the rrectum?" "His arse, yes." He still seemed embarrassed, but Karik understood the use of suppositories, and knew it was perfectly reasonable to give treatment that way if the patient couldn't swallow. "J-just show me huh-how." The ship was rocking badly now, so the process of making the paste to be used as Jembis said had to be described rather than shown. Karik was given sufficient dried nerf leaf for all his needs. "There's a risk we could sink if the weather gets

really bad, but no ship had sunk in this part of the route for over sixty years," Jembis said quietly. Karik stared at him in horror. "Just saying though – you don't want to give Gyo too much or you won't be able to wake him if we need to abandon ship." "But...he c-can't swim." Neither could Karik, not all that well, anyway. "Hells, neither can I. Make sure you keep a lamp burning in the night and grab onto a bit of wood. If the sharks don't get us, there are always ships passing on this route and we'll get picked up. Don't look so worried, Karik." Karik blinked at the frankly unreasonable request. "Are you s-serious? How wuh-will I sleep now?" Jembis shrugged. "Same as you always do. We could sink any time, Karik." Karik pursed his lips. "I h-hate you," he spat. "I know," Jembis said softly. "I really am sorry. I just...just wanted a friend of my own." "D-did you r-really think we'd l-like you fuh-for this?" "I didn't think. Father's right in that at least." His shoulders slumped. "Look, if the weather gets rough, I'll come and sit with you, even if I feel sick. I'll get you out if there's any problem. I won't even take any nerf leaf – I'll stay awake." Karik appreciated the gesture at least. "The a-animals?" "Well, I'll have to look after them too but they don't take all my time, you know that. Why don't you go the galley, get some tea for Gyo and I'll meet you back in the cabin." He placed a hesitant hand on Karik's shoulder. "Gods, Karik, I wish I could undo this." So did Karik, but it was a useless wish. "J-just get us th-there safe." Jembis nodded and walked away. Karik began to collect up the supplies so he could go to the galley, but Jembis' words kept ringing in his head. If they sank...he wouldn't dare sleep while Gyo was drugged. Someone had to have a clear head if there was a shipwreck....

The next three days were the hardest he'd ever endured. Even with the nerf leaf, Gyo suffered a good deal of sickness and when he wasn't actually throwing up or in a drugged sleep, he was frightened and anxious. The weather became truly alarming, at least to Karik's mind, although Jembis assured him it really wasn't as bad as it got, and they were a long way from being really in danger. Jembis brought blankets and thin pallets for them to sleep on in the cabin, which at least cushioned the frequent falls as the boat plunged through huge waves and suffered under fierce thunderstorms. He told Karik the ship was a sound one and had been through much worse – his father, he said, was one of the most experienced on the route, and knew all the dangers. But that didn't stop Karik's anxiety, and Gyo's constant weakness was another worry. All he could do was try and get some tea and honey down his friend's throat to replace all the liquid he was losing, but Gyo looked dreadful and moaned piteously when he was awake, wanting his mother and father, and sounding very young and scared. If it hadn't been for Jembis' company, Karik thought he would have gone insane from worry. The older boy suffered from seasickness too. He seemed to control it better with the nerf leaf tea which made him drowsy, but he somehow managed to stay awake most of the time. Between the two of them, they made sure Gyo was never left without a conscious attendant, but it was very tiring, at least for Karik. Several times he wished he could just drink the nerf leaf tea too and sleep this all away but he was older than Gyo and therefore had a responsibility to him. He would never forgive himself if anything happened to his friend. Jembis respected Karik's continuing anger, but when Karik needed reassurance, at least he could give it, and when Karik wanted to talk, or to have something to distract him, Jembis was there too. If the Prijian boy could restrain his impulses to stupid acts as he'd committed, he would make a good man, Karik thought. If he could get away from his brute of a father, he'd be more likely to make friends of his own too. The three days took a real toll on all of them. Karik was dirty, tired and bruised by the end of it. It was impossible to stay clean, or to get hot food – tea was only available for a couple of hours a day, and they had had to resort to the suppositories twice for Gyo. When he wasn't tending to Gyo, or napping while Jembis kept watch, or trying not to be tossed around the cabin, Karik just sat in a corner wrapped in a blankets and prayed for this ordeal to be over soon and

safely, his hand on his parents' gift of the tero stone, telling himself that they would never rest until they brought him home. He had to believe in that – but when he was exhausted and cold, it was sometimes hard to keep that faith. Finally, the weather moderated during the fourth night, and at dawn, Karik found with profound relief that the ship was rocking with nothing more than a gentle rolling motion. Gyo was still sleeping, and looked far from well. Karik decided not to disturb him, but needing to get some fresh air, he was glad to leave the cabin and come up on deck. Jembis, who had slipped out to feed the animals, was there and smiled. "How is he?" "S-still sleeping. Is it over?" "Yes, thank the gods. I thought I was going to lose one of the tewi cubs, poor little bugger's been so ill, but he's all right now. We'll be in Utuk harbour in a few hours." Even though it had been expected, Karik couldn't help the fear rising inside him, making his stomach tight and his heart race. He touched Jembis' arm. "P-please help us, J-Jembis. H-help me g-get home." Jembis regarded him seriously. "How? Just tell me, Karik, I want to make it up to you." "P-please. H-help us get to the eh-embassy? B-before?" Jembis gnawed on his lip. "All right." He looked around to see if they were being overhead, and bent lower. "When we get to port, we'll make a run for it. I know where the Darshianese embassy is, and if we get there first, I can hand you over to them before the Prij get to you. But Father will beat the shit out of me," he said mournfully. Karik looked at him. He had no wish to see Jembis hurt, but he didn't want to be forced to stay in Utuk either. "C-can't you s-stay with us?" "I'm not an adult yet, Karik. Father controls me until I'm eighteen and that's half a year away. But I'll lie for you. He's not allowed to kill me. Anything short of that, though, he can do." Karik felt sick. He'd never been struck in his life, and although a couple of the village children had been given several strokes of a stick when they had done something not only wrong but very dangerous, none of the adults he knew

habitually cuffed and slapped their children the way Jembis' father did. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Oh, don't worry, when I reach eighteen, I'm off. I already know what I'll do – I'm going to Andon to look after the animals they catch from the wild. Maybe I'll even start my own menagerie." Despite the cheerful words, Karik could tell Jembis was afraid of his father's wrath. He would ask the embassy to try and protect him, but he didn't know if they would or even could. He already hated the Prij if this was how they treated their children. He fetched some breakfast, although between his anxiety and the lack of sleep, he had little appetite, and brought it up on deck where the sailors were swabbing the decks and, so it seemed to him, making repairs to damage caused by the bad weather. As the hours passed, the sun grew hot and burned off the water lying on the deck. The sailors seemed full of energy, perhaps because their destination was approaching. Even now, he could see the island of Kuplik coming ever closer. A couple of hours after dawn, Gyo staggered up on deck. Karik told him the news, and couldn't hold back a shiver of anxiety. Soon their fate would be known. Gyo put a comforting arm around his shoulders. "I won't let them hurt you, Ka-chi," he said stoutly. "I won't let them take you away either." Karik leaned against his tall friend, glad of the comfort but uneasily aware that even Gyo's bravery wouldn't protect him. Jembis kept a diplomatic distance while the two friends watched the island of Kuplik draw ever closer. It was close to noon before they got close to the coast, and began to negotiate their way through the moored ships towards the harbour. The entrance to the harbour was down a long cliff-lined passage. Karik could see huge cannons and armed soldiers along the cliffs at various points, and he shook a little as he thought what this meant for him. Nothing he or Gyo or even Jembis could do would stop soldiers doing what they wanted. Like Gyo at the start of this nightmare, he wondered if this was how his mother had felt when the Prij had come to take her from her home. It seemed to take a long time to actually dock the ship, and there was a lot of frenzied shouting and activity, sails being hauled up and down, ropes thrown to the sounds of tortured grinding of the wooden boat against the dock. But at last gangplanks were being put in place. Karik found he was shaking again – would they make it? Jembis, who had stood with them for the last half hour as they

came into dock, nodded. "Right, you boys, come with me," he whispered. "Follow my lead." They moved surreptitiously to the gangway, but not discreetly enough as the captain was heard to bellow Jembis' name, followed by a burst of angry Prijian. "Run! Down the gangplank!" Gyo grabbed Karik's hand and pulled him along, racing down the gangplank to the accompaniment of the angry shouts of the captain and other crew. They didn't even stop to look to see if Jembis was behind them, although Karik heard him shouting to them to keep running, not to stop. Unfortunately, they hadn't figured on there being someone on the ground who was very interested in them doing just that. Suddenly, they found themselves surrounded by soldiers, and in Karik's panicked state, it took a few moments for him to realise that the soldiers weren't Prijian, but Darshianese. They were held firmly but carefully by four men, and a fifth, not a soldier, but also Darshianese, came towards them. "Are you Gyo and Karik? Karik of Ai-Albon?" Unable to speak for fear, Karik could only nod. The man gave them a wide smile. "Oh good. Don't be afraid, lads, I work for the embassy. I'm here to get you to safety." Jembis seemed to have melted away, but Karik could see the captain pushing his way through the milling throngs of people. "We n-n-ne...." Karik stuttered, tugging on the man's sleeve, unable to force the words out and almost choking in his panic. "That man's the one who took us," Gyo said urgently. "We've got to get away!" "And so you will. Lieutenant?" The soldier whistled, and a carriage was brought up. Gyo and Karik were bundled into it along with the embassy official and one of the soldiers, and another took the reins, whipped the jesigs and got them clipping along at a good rate away from the docks. The relief was so great, Karik almost wanted to be sick. "Are we safe?" he whispered to Gyo, clinging to him, feeling weak all of a sudden. "You're safe, lads," the official said. "You've got some very worried people waiting for you back in Darshek, and I've been assured by Lord Meki that if

anything happens to you, it's my arse that'll be kicked. Are you all right? You're not injured or sick?" Karik shook his head and Gyo assured the man they were all right. "Who are you?" Gyo asked. He stuck out his hand, and Gyo shook it hesitantly. "Urso, assistant to the ambassador. Ah, there we are." They had come to a large white building with an imposing looking fence of stone and metal guarding it. Large gates were swung open and their carriage admitted. Once the gates closed behind them, Karik let out a breath, finally believing they were now safe. It would be all right – somehow, Arman and Kei and the others had found out about the abduction and arranged their rescue. It was all nearly over and hopefully they would be going home soon. The embassy was a very formal, rather cold place – he somehow knew it wasn't something a Darshianese had designed – but everywhere were his own people. Urso led them through echoing halls to a chamber, and told them to sit. "I'll fetch the ambassador. And after that, you can eat and bathe and rest. Perhaps not in that order," he said, wrinkling his nose. "We'd best get you some clothes. Leave all that to me." One of the soldiers waited with them, but it was clear they weren't under guard. It was more so they didn't feel they'd been abandoned. Karik couldn't stop shaking, which was odd because they were now safe. Gyo kept his arm around him, which felt good, and Karik put his hand on his tero stone for comfort too. Did his parents even know he'd been missing? Would they find out he'd been rescued? In a few minutes, they heard footsteps, and a tall, middle-aged Darshianese man approached them, smiling and holding out his hand in welcome. "Hello boys, I'm Yuko, the ambassador. Come with me to my office so I can just check what's been happening to you, and then I can send a message to Lord Meki." He took them just a short distance to a very big office, with wide windows that opened out to a garden behind the building. "So, you've had quite the adventure. Can you tell me what happened?" Karik let Gyo do the talking. He'd held himself so taut all morning, and had been so worried, that he now felt exhausted on top of the lack of sleep. He was conscious they were both dirty and untidy, and it had been a long time since a

sparse breakfast. He just wanted to do something completely normal and stay away from boats for as long as he could. Gyo finished his tale, and the ambassador turned to Karik. "So this man, this captain, knows who your mother is, Karik?" "Y-yes. P-please don't l-let them take me." "With any luck, you'll be out of Utuk before there's any problem. Urso has a list of ships and knows when they're departing. We'll put you on the first boat back to Darshek, I promise you that, and I'll send two soldiers with you to keep you safe." He looked a little preoccupied for a moment or two, but then he smiled. "Let's get you fed and watered. You can use one of our guest chambers – I'm sure the Rulers won't mind lending it out to you this once." Gyo's eyes went wide at that, but he said nothing as they trailed behind the ambassador back along the hall and then up a flight of stairs. "The facilities are as Darshianese as we can make them, so there's a decent bath. There's robes in the cupboard – probably a bit too big for you, but you won't mind, I'm sure. Leave your clothes out and they'll be cleaned. We'll have to beg clothes from some of the staff I think." The ambassador showed them the washroom and stoked the bath stove himself. "I'd like you not to leave these rooms without an escort. See this?" He indicated a long length of material on the wall. "If you need anything, pull that." He did just that. "In a minute or two, someone will come and I'll ask them for a meal for you. Then I'll let you have some peace – you both look tired, so I think a nap wouldn't hurt you, even though it's early." Karik let the man's chatter wash over him. The promised servant came, and the food arrived not long after. Gyo fell on it eagerly – fresh fruit, good bread and milk all made a great change from the food on the ship. Karik ate too, but for all he thought he was hungry, he found his appetite died pretty quickly. He wanted to get the stink of the animals and the ship off him, and even before Gyo had finished eating, Karik had excused himself to use the washroom. He stripped his disgusting clothes off and tossed them aside – he wondered if they would ever be clean again – before slowly and methodically cleaning a week's worth of grime off his skin and out of his hair. He swore he was pounds lighter by the time he'd rinsed off. Gyo had come to join him by then, and like Karik, clearly relished getting clean again. "I hate ships more than I hate trading," he said with feeling. "I guess we have to put up with it a little longer, but we'll be home soon. Do you feel all right, Karik? You look a little pale." Karik had to sit on the stool – he felt odd all of a sudden. "I j-just...." To his shock, he began to shake very hard. He hugged himself but it didn't seem to help.

Gyo crouched in front of him, his hand on Karik's knee. "Shhh, Ka-chi, it's all over." "I kn-know...." Perhaps that was why he was so upset now – he'd held himself in check all week, trying to be brave for Gyo, to help him, and now he didn't have to. "I want m-my M-Ma." "There, there," Gyo soothed, holding him close. "You were so calm on the boat, I thought you weren't afraid at all, not right until this morning, but I guess you were scared too?" Karik nodded, resting his head against Gyo's bare wet shoulder. He felt such a fool. Gyo let him rest for a bit then urged him to his feet. "Get into the bath, Karik, you'll feel better. That's what Ma always says to me."

Chapter 9 The news came just before noon, and Arman knew it was something he had to pass on in person. He walked the short distance between the Rulers' House and the academy with more of a spring in his step than he'd had in a week, and the moment he walked through Kei's office door, his lover guessed. "They're safe?" "They're safe," Arman confirmed. Misek looked as if he didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. Arman came to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Yuko says they'll be on a boat back to Darshek by noon tomorrow. They're tired, dirty, hungry and completely safe." Misek hid his face in his hands. Kei came from behind his desk and knelt next to his friend, holding him close and letting the tears of relief come out. Misek had had an appalling week. Risa had left four days ago with a very heavy conscience, and although Kei had done his best to keep Misek busy looking at papers and plant specimens, having him talk to the gardeners about new techniques, it was obvious the man was just a ghost, drifting through the days until he could get word of his precious child. Rarely had Arman had so much delight in bringing news to someone. "So what happened to them?" Kei asked. "How did they end up in Utuk?" Arman sat on the edge of the desk. "Apparently it was a prank gone wrong. They met this Jembis and told him rather too much about Karik's past, and the boy tricked them into being on board when the boat sailed. Used a drug on them, if you can believe it. But there's no harm from it, and Yuko's man got them away from the ship easily enough." "And Karik?" Arman met Kei's eyes. "So far, nothing. The captain knows who his mother is, but little more. Yuko certainly won't confirm anything along those lines, and he's going to keep quiet about it. Once they're on board, they'll be safe. And then they'll be back in eight days." "Oh, gods. Thank you, Arman. Thank everyone who's helped, please," Misek said, his eyes still red, but his smile brighter than it had been for over a week. "I will. Now, finally, I hope you can get some decent sleep so you can get your boy home without falling off the cart."

Kei grinned. "Do you have to go back to the Rulers' House? I think I could be free." Arman was going to refuse, because there were things he had to do – but then he looked at Kei's face, Misek's face, and knew that his lover and his friend needed time with him that wasn't being spent in tortured waiting. "Of course. Can we afford a meal from a vendor?" "I think the budget can stretch that far," Kei said, his smile now blinding. "I might even be able to buy us all a beer." Misek put his hand on Kei's arm. "No, this time the beer is on me."

It was good to sleep in a real bed, but even so and even with the lack of sleep, he only managed a couple of hours – it was the middle of the day after all and his body was telling he should be awake. He sat up, yawning, and his movement woke Gyo who rubbed his eyes. "I'm hungry again," he said. "That's b-because you th-threw up s-so much." "Maybe. Did someone come in before?" Karik hadn't heard, but when they went out into the main room, there were clean clothes neatly folded on a chair, and the dirty items had been removed. The clothes were a little small for Gyo, and a little big for Karik, but it was pure pleasure being clean once more so they had no complaints. "Do you think anyone's around?" He didn't know, but when he opened the door, there was a soldier standing on guard, who nonetheless gave him a friendly smile. "Ah, the ambassador would like you to stay here, lads. But it won't be for long – they've organised berths for you both back to Darshek tomorrow morning. So enjoy dry land while you can." Gyo was ecstatic. "Tomorrow? We're going back!" Karik hugged him. It was so much better news than they'd been expecting. Gyo insisted on ringing the bell pull for more food, even though Karik thought it might be seen as greedy. "Don't be silly, Ka-chi, they can afford it." Karik rolled his eyes – that wasn't the point at all.

The housekeeper who came didn't seem at all put out by the request for food and even seemed to be expecting it. "You can keep those clothes, boys. Your own ones might still be a little damp by the time you go on board, but if you hang them out where you're told, they'll dry soon enough." She told them that the ambassador had been called to the palace but he would come and see them later. In the meantime, they were to stay in the room. Karik didn't mind – there were plenty of books and it wasn't for long. The food, when it arrived, was delicious soup and more of the good bread, which filled even Gyo's emptiness. Replete and feeling safe, with the prospect of home to look forward to, there were worse ways to spend a grey afternoon than to stretch out on the bed, a book in hand and to just enjoy a few hours peace and quiet. He had no curiosity at all to see Utuk, the place of his birth. Kuprij and all its natives only meant danger, a threat to his family and pain. He just wanted to leave it and them as quickly as humanly possibly. He read for hours and dozed a little again. Gyo nudged him awake. "Someone's at the door." Just as he spoke, the knock came again. Karik sat up and followed Gyo out into the main room again. The ambassador was already there. The look on the man's face meant bad news, Karik just knew it. He asked them to sit, and then took a chair himself. "I gather you've heard you're going home, tomorrow, Gyo." Karik couldn't help noticing the omission. "N-not me?" "I'm afraid there's a problem, Karik...."

Arman let fly with some oaths he hadn't used from his army days. "Pissing Mekus. I'll strangle him. You're not going to let them get away with this, my lord?" Kei and Misek were silent, wisely deciding to let Arman say what they were all thinking, he knew. "I don't know that I've got much choice. You heard Yuko. If he refuses to hand Karik over, the Prij will put the word out that Prijian children are being kidnapped. If they try and force the boys onto the ship, there'll be a fight – and that could end with the boys injured or dead." Misek made a small sound of distress at those words. "Then I'm going to Utuk."

"And I'm going with you," Kei said. Arman turned to him. "No. I beg you, Kei, don't push yourself into this task." Kei was giving him one of his stubborn glares. "Look, I don't want a single other person there they can use as a hostage against me, and you would be a prize and a half for them. Misek, you have to make sure Gyo leaves too." "They won't risk war with Darshian over this," Kei said. "Not over one young boy." "It's not about Karik, Kei, it's about me," Arman said heavily. "This is Kita and Mekus' dream come true. I told Karik this wasn't something to bruit about – I thought he understood. Why didn't the stupid boy keep his mouth shut?" "Karik's a child, don't blame him over a pissing match between adults," Kei snapped. "Gentlemen, this doesn't advance us," Lord Meki interrupted. "Arman, if you're serious about going to Utuk, then you need to find out when you can leave. Misek, Neka will make it possible for you to talk to Gyo if necessary but he has to get onto that boat at dawn – Arman's right, we don't want any hostages, and with his parentage also under a cloud, we can't afford to leave him there." "He'll fight me," Misek said, his expression grim. "He'll not leave Karik there." "I know. You have to convince him that it's the best for all concerned." Arman ignored the discussion going on as he asked Neka to let him talk to the harbour master. "There's a ship leaving at three in the morning," he announced when he was done. "I can be on that." "Arman, you can't do this on your own," Kei said quietly, taking his hand, looking at him with a worried expression. "It's a mess of my own making, Kei. I just don't want anyone else to suffer, and I would never forgive myself if Mekus or Kita got their hands on you. Please...don't fight me on this," he pleaded, using his eyes shamefully. "You shouldn't have to do this on your own." "I won't be alone, Kei. My father and brother will support me." He tilted Kei's face for a kiss. "I owe you for that."

"I'll worry every moment you're gone." "I know, and I regret that. Will you take some comfort from the fact that knowing you are safe will give me considerable peace?" "For that reason and that reason alone, will I abide by your request. We need to get you ready for the trip. Misek?" Misek raised his hand to make them stay silent. Arman realised he must be speaking to Gyo. They waited until he was done. "He's going to go. But he hates me," Misek said resignedly. "He'll survive," Arman said with the readiness of a man who'd ordered others to do far worse things. "My lord, I need to pack and arrange my affairs." This matter was badly timed, but he could hardly expect to let Karik stew in Utuk because Arman wanted to work on the harbour redevelopment. He looked at Lord Meki who shooed him away. "I can read your mind, Arman, and I can tell you I'll be fine. Good thing you're leaving Kei here to bully me." "I'll be even stricter than I would have been before, I'm warning you, my lord," Kei said with a tight smile. He turned to Arman. "We should go." "Give me a little time to sort out my desk and make some notes." Arman bowed to the Ruler. "I'll send you a full report from Utuk." "I'll expect that. I'll make sure your loved ones are safe, Arman. You will have to deal with this as a private citizen, but whatever help and support we, the Rulers, and the embassy can give you, you can depend on." "Thank you, my lord, but Karik's best hope, ironically, is for me to firmly establish his credentials as a son of the Prij. Kei, Misek, come to my office." He sorted his affairs out quickly – he habitually left his papers as if someone else might have to take over at a moment's notice, a carry over from his army days when he faced death daily. All he had to do was finalise the minor things he had dealt with that day, and hand the notes to Lord Meki's secretary, who took them away with a bow and best wishes for his enterprise. Then he went back to see the Ruler for a few last arrangements. One request he had to make was that his nomination as a Ruler be delayed until he returned. Lord Meki agreed immediately – bruiting about Arman's importance to Darshian at this time could potentially harm them all. There would, Lord Meki said, be plenty of time to sort that out when he returned, and then wished him luck for his journey.

After that, it was a tense twenty minute walk back to the house. "What will you tell Jena and Reji?" Kei asked. Arman turned to Misek. "You're a father. I need your guidance." Misek considered. "They need to know," he finally said. "Not knowing is the worst thing. But how you stop Reji storming to Utuk, I don't know." "Leave that to me," Kei said. "Arman, can they hurt you? Keep you prisoner? You're technically a traitor." "Not officially. Mekus is going to make things unpleasant for me and as inconvenient as he can, I know that. But they won't risk outright confrontation." He stopped and turned to Kei. "This could take a while," he murmured, pulling him close. "I know. I know you will do what needs to be done, and I'll wait for you. Karik is precious to me and those I love, Arman. I thank you for this." "Mekus isn't going to win this," Arman said roughly. Part of him desperately wanted Kei with him, but the greater part of him wanted anyone remotely important to him as far away as possible from Utuk and all it represented. "Misek, when Gyo arrives, just take him home. It could be a month or more before Karik arrives. I'll get him home safely, you can promise that to Reji." "As you wish. This entire venture has been ill-omened from the start. All we wanted was our boys to have a taste of the big wide world," he said bitterly. "A worthy motive, Misek. Things have just been very unfortunate – this boy playing a trick wasn't anything we could have predicted." They walked the rest of the distance in silence. Pira was quickly informed of events, and hastened to help Arman prepare his pack. Kei undertook to find the papers he said he wanted. Misek kept out of the way, like the sensible man he was. Arman finally shooed Pira out of their bedroom and dragged Kei down to sit on the bed. "Damn your expressive eyes," he murmured, kissing the eyelids that briefly hid those all too powerful windows to his lover's heart. "Do you hate me?" "No. I'm worried sick, but you would expect me to be."

"Kei, I need you to look after Meki. More than usual. He doesn't need this on top of his other responsibilities. He's not been taking it as easy as he promised." "I'll be fierce. I might even have to be rude," he said with the ghost of a grin. Arman kissed him again. "You do that. He can handle it." He stroked his hand down Kei's braid. There were one or two bright silver threads among the dark brown, but it was still as silky and sleek as ever, as was Kei. "Do we have time to make love?" "We'll make time," Kei said. "You realise this will be the first time we've been apart for more than a night in sixteen years." "Don't remind me. I hope it will be the last." "Lord Peika wants you to go to Andon if you're appointed Ruler," Kei murmured, taking his earlobe gently between his teeth. "Think about that when we've returned. I will bring him back, I swear." "I know. I never doubted that." Arman bore Kei down to the bed and kissed him gently as he began to unlace his shirt and trousers. Kei's arms went around his neck and Arman could see the unspoken needs in his lover's eyes, for him not to go, to go, to take Kei with him – all warring, all being held under control by Kei's intelligence, his rationality, but above all, by his love, the rock solid foundation of Arman's life, the one thing he never doubted. The thing that made every sacrifice, every sorrow or regret, as light as feathers upon his soul. As graceful at thirty-six as he had been at twenty, Kei shimmied out of his clothes, and by dint of long practice and innate skill, he managed to strip Arman almost before Arman had formed the idea of doing so. "I never know how you do that," Arman said wryly, contemplating the clothes on the floor and his smiling, now stark naked lover beneath him. "You must use your gift." "No, it's just amazing what someone who's properly motivated can do." "Yes, I suppose it is," Arman murmured, bending to kiss Kei again, at the same time, reaching for the pot of hand cream they kept by the bed for such things. Again, long practice made it easier to scoop some out one-handed, and to raise Kei's leg onto his shoulder. "I'm sorry – may I be greedy? I want to have you, and have you now. I just...."

"Want to stake your claim?" Kei said lightly, but still with the same love and understanding in his eyes. "You never need to ask, Arman." His need was urgent, but his touch was gentle, for whatever Kei said, Arman could never take him or his pleasure for granted. He began to apply the cream, and his lover shuddered, arching his body and exposing his neck. Arman bit carefully at the graceful juncture of neck and body, accepting the submission as the gift it was. Even with his need, he took his time. For him, lovemaking had always been less about his own pleasure than watching Kei lose himself in sensation. Knowing how deeply Kei felt things, experienced things, Arman knew it was no small matter to make him forget himself for even a few moments, to make him writhe in abandoned delight, to gasp as Arman filled him and pleasured him, no longer the inexperienced man Kei had first bedded, but now one fully trained in the art of making love to this exquisite man. Arman knew every single place on Kei's body that made him tingle, every pulse point that he could lick and tease carefully with lips and teeth, how to judge when Kei had become too sensitive to endure more nipple play, and when he needed more, tinged with a little delicate pain, to tip him over into gasping orgasm that made him clutch at Arman's back to the point of leaving bruises. The joy he got from seeing that, feeling Kei's passion, made his own climax almost unimportant, though his body welcomed the release from the tension it brought. The hands that had been clawing at him moments before, now slid behind his neck and drew him down. "You needed that," Kei said dryly. "Perhaps I should start coming over to the Ruler's house at lunch to relieve your tension." "Any day I'm preparing to leave you for weeks, feel free to do so." The sex had brought him only the slightest respite from his anxiety, and even though he knew Kei would feel the return of that emotion and be made anxious in turn, there was nothing he could do about it. All he could do was let Kei hold him and wish there was some answer other than this. Of course, there wasn't. "Love – I know why you don't want me to go with you, and I accept that. But are you so sure I wouldn't give you more benefit than disadvantage?" Kei was staring at him seriously and Arman knew this was no manipulation. They had worked as a team for a long time, separately but united in purpose and in love. He turned over the facts one more time, but regretfully came to the same conclusion. "I'm sorry, Kei. I can pretty much predict the kind of things that will happen to me. But what might happen to you...." He raised Kei's hand and kissed it. "Even if it weren't so risky, don't dismiss the effect returning to Utuk might

have on you. You only returned before for the very briefest of times. To spend weeks there.... And I really do need you here too. Misek needs you, Meki needs you. I'm sorry to be selfish." Kei sighed. "Don't apologise for that, you nitwit. It's we Darshianese who should apologise for putting you in this situation." Arman sat back. "You haven't done that in a long time," he said, feeling a little stung. "What?" "Distinguished between me and true Darshianese." Kei sat up, apology already in his expression. "No, Arman, I didn't mean that... damn, I'm sorry, it's just all the talk of dealing with the Prij. You're one of us, you know you are. You're going to be one of our Rulers soon." He reached behind Arman's head and tugged the heavy braid. "And this proves it. I didn't mean it, truly." Arman knew he didn't and accepted the apology. He knew there would always be a distinction, however slight, in the minds of all who knew him, but why that should matter when the only distinction he cared to claim was that of being Kei's lover, he didn't know. "We should bathe and then go to supper." Kei laid his head on Arman's shoulder. "Already?" he murmured. "Time slips away so fast." "Then it won't be long before I return. And I will, Kei. Kita isn't that stupid. She won't risk a war with the Darshianese alliance over me, not even for her husband or her father-in-law. Even if she would, the rest of the senate would not. It'll take a little while, but I'll come home, I swear that, and Karik will come back with me too. Mekus won't want the boy for more than the ability to torment me – Karik's stutter will disgust him, and that's a good thing. Mayl won't want someone like him near her either." "What a lovely pair," Kei said, grimacing. "Oh, indeed. Perfectly matched. Karik is loved and valued for many things they are too stupid to see, and what they do see, I hope will make them want to get rid of him as quickly as they can."

"More fool them, then. I want that boy here, Arman. I've set my heart on him working for me." He glared at Arman. "Darshian needs him and Kuprij won't value him. Bring Karik home." "Yes, Master Kei," Arman said, dropping a kiss on one smooth cheek. "But we should get moving." There was still time for another embrace, some more unhurried kisses. But then they really had to go.

Karik held Gyo's hand as he spoke to his father – Karik didn't need to be listening to the mental conversation to know that it was distressing his friend greatly. Across from them, the ambassador watched with sympathetic eyes, but Karik already knew that his own fate was sealed. It was confirmed when Gyo looked at Karik with stricken eyes as the link with his father was broken. "He says I have to go," he said in a cracking voice. "Leave you behind, Karik." "Yes, you d-do. It's all right, G-Gyo." He pulled Gyo close to him and felt his friend shaking. Gods, was there nothing about this situation that was not painful? Gyo faced with abandoning his best friend and to have to make the journey back alone? Karik to be handed over to Prijian custody in the morning, to wait for the gods knew what to help him? Arman was coming down, that was the only hope they had, but what if he couldn't do anything? One thing was for sure – however much Karik would appreciate Gyo's presence, it would ease his conscience if his friend was safe home in Darshian. "Gyo, you n-need to help my p-parents. I wuh-want you to do that." "Karik's right," Yuko said quietly. "You can do nothing for him here that we can't. But you can make sure his family and friends know the situation here. And to be blunt, the fewer children these people can take as hostage again, the happier I'll be. My sister was one of the original group all those years ago. Don't let your families go through that kind of pain, lad." "It's wrong! Why can't you just send us both back and be damned to these bastards?" Gyo shouted. "They can't stop us." "They can and assuredly will," Yuko said firmly. "Gyo – listen to me. If I refuse to hand Karik over, I risk this embassy being stormed. Even if the soldiers don't come, the Prij will put the word out that we're holding one of their children

captive and trust me, you don't want to see one of this city's mobs in action. People will get hurt, even killed – and in the end, I will still have to hand Karik over, just as Lord Meki has ordered." "But if you snuck us out...." Yuko held his hand up. "No. Lad, we're being watched to see we're not going to do just that. Do you not realise the situation? The Prij government hate us being here – we represent their worst humiliation. They won't risk open warfare, but any chance to discredit us, to have us removed by the Darshek Rulers, and they will. Karik is the sovereign's consort's stepbrother, and even if we don't openly acknowledge it, that blasted captain has let the secret out. If we try and sneak him off the island, it will cause a huge ruckus. It might even be an excuse for war, and even though we are militarily stronger, the Prij could still harm our people. They don't even have to declare war officially – they can stir up the populace in ways that the government can disavow. I've seen it before," he added with a grim expression. "I beg you, Gyo – both of you – trust us, trust the Rulers and trust Arman. I know the man – he's tenacious, and he's got Lord Meki on his side. You could not have more effective supporters." "Gyo, you have to go." Gyo stared at him with miserable eyes, and Karik forced himself to smile. "You s-said I needed to f-find out more about my f-family." "Not like this," Gyo cried. "Karik, this is my fault!" "Now, now, Gyo, I know Karik doesn't blame you, do you, Karik?" "No. Gyo – c-can you be brave for me? I need that." Gyo's eyes were still stark in his grief, but finally he nodded. Karik didn't know how he was keeping back his own emotions – it was like on the boat, he supposed. He needed to be strong now for Gyo, but once Gyo was gone, he would probably be a mess. "Y-Yuko, Gyo was very sick on the wuh-way down. Can s-someone look after him?" Yuko seemed a little surprised and then relieved at the request. "You know, that's a perfectly good idea. I can send one of the soldiers from here and I'll make sure Gyo gets the best treatment for the seasickness. He'll be looked after just fine, Karik." "Th-thank you." Gyo would probably be all right on his own, but to have an older person in charge of him would make it easier – and Misek would worry less too.

"Then it's agreed? Gyo, I won't be handing Karik over without assurances that we can maintain contact with him, and I really do have every faith in Arman's ability to sort this out. He'll come to no harm, I swear on my honour." Gyo only nodded. It was left to Karik to ask what they were to do until Gyo had to leave. "Well, you need to stay here and I would suggest you both try and rest as much as you can. A carriage will be brought around to take Gyo to the docks in the morning. All you'll need to do is get up, dress and eat some breakfast. I don't expect it to be easy for you, lad, but you promised Karik you'd be brave. This is where it starts. Karik, we're not expected at the palace until later that morning, so you and Gyo should say goodbye here. Will you both give me your word you won't try to leave the embassy?" Karik agreed but he had to prod Gyo into saying 'yes' in a small voice. "Thank you, lads. Let me leave you alone now, but I live in the embassy, so if you want to talk, or ask anything, or need anything, don't hesitate to ask, whatever the time. Would you like me to come back later this evening?" Karik shook his head. "Wuh-we should sleep." "Yes, true. I'll make sure you have some more food sent up, and breakfast will be ready before you leave, Gyo. I'll have our healer come up shortly and talk to you about the seasickness, and the soldier who'll be going with you, once I decide who that will be. After that, just try and relax, and not to fret." He smiled sadly. "Easier to say than to do, naturally." He stood. "I want you to know how very sorry I am, Karik. In my mind, there's no question you are one of us, and Senator Mekus is just stirring trouble by this claim. But we've beaten him before and we'll beat him again. You just need to show these Prij how a real Darshianese conducts himself." "I'll t-try." "Then good night – for now. Gyo," Yuko said, putting his hand on Gyo's shoulder, "I know how hard this is. Just make your parents proud of you, lad." Gyo nodded and Yuko left. Karik stayed where he was, feeling rather numb by the enormity of what lay in front of them. "I'm sorry," Gyo said quietly. Karik looked at him as Gyo raised his head. "I didn't mean to embarrass you. I know this is harder for you." Karik hugged him. "It's n-not a competition. C-can we stop talking about it?" He was just exhausted, and there was really nothing more to be said or gained from going over it.

Gyo let Karik hold him a little longer but then indicated he wanted to be set free. He got up and walked around the room, over to the window. "Everything comes back to the war," he said quietly. "Before last year, I hardly knew a thing about it, and now my Ma, your Ma, your parents...even Yuko, and Arman.... Isn't that strange?" "It wuh-was a big thing. Changed l-lives." "I wouldn't even exist if it wasn't for the war. Maybe you'd have been raised here in Utuk. Are you sorry you weren't?" "No! I love Ma and P-Pa! I just want to go h-home." "I don't know what I'll tell Pa about this. Or your Pa. It's like a nightmare, Kachi. Only we're awake and it's not stopping." His voice broke and a tear fell, only to be hurriedly scrubbed away. "Sorry. I don't want to cry any more. What do you want to do now? You've had less sleep than me – I'm not tired yet but I'll watch over you if you want to go back to bed." Karik could probably have done with the sleep, he knew, but he just couldn't, not yet. Besides, there were people coming up to see them. "You should j-just relax. Rest." Gyo nodded, but then surprised Karik by coming over to him and pulling him into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry, Karik. I promise I'll do whatever I can to help your Ma and Pa." At those words, Karik found it very hard to keep his composure. Gyo was such a good friend. He couldn't imagine never seeing him again. Stll, if they tried to force him to stay in Utuk, he would leave the second he was an adult. If Jembis was right, no one would have any claim on him once he was eighteen, and he could come home. He said as much to Gyo, who peered at him earnestly. "Two years? Could you bear it, Ka-chi?" "I-if I could come h-home then, I could." "Then maybe it's not so bad, even if Arman can't help?" "No, it's n-not." He sighed and Gyo set him free. "I'm g-going to read." "Good idea. But if you want to talk some more...I mean, I won't be here tomorrow...." Karik held his hand up to make him stop. They'd been over this. "I know. You read your book, Karik. I'll be in the washroom."

Karik wondered what Gyo was up to, but he found the book he had been reading and forced himself to concentrate. If he didn't, he knew he'd get worked up and he just didn't dare let himself go. The room grew darker so he lit a candle, and then a lamp. A short time later, a meal was brought. Karik had no appetite at all, but Gyo, who had finally emerged from the washroom, picked at it. To encourage him, Karik forced himself to eat a little too. Not long after that, the healer came and examined both of them. Karik told him about the nerf leaf, which was new to him entirely. "I find it hard to recommend a narcotic which hasn't been tested and approved by the academy," the man said. "And I don't know how we would get supplies of it at such short notice. I'm afraid I can only recommend the remedies we use now, but I can make sure the ship's apothecary has a supply of pijn, and that he issues it to you if you get very ill. As the journey is of such short duration, I think that it will be safe to do so. The main thing, young man, is to make sure you keep up the ipo tea, made as I've directed." The healer turned to Karik. "Those bruises – how did you come by them?" "In the sh-ship. I got th-thrown about." "Then, Gyo, you mind that you avoid that. You don't want to break an arm. Stay in the bunk, strapped in as you were this time." Gyo was giving Karik a guilty look and Karik realised that Gyo hadn't known that Karik had not been able to secure himself as Jembis and Karik had done for him. But it just had not been possible to secure both of them in the bunk. "You sh-should just sleep as m-much as you can," he told his friend. "Yes, that's good advice, Gyo. You sound as if your mother has taught you well, Karik. When you finally get home, please tell her that Ado of Ai-Kislik sends his regards," he said with a wink as he stood. "I met her in Darshek many years ago when we were students. She was in the class behind ours. Such a spirited young lady, she was. Clever too. I often wondered if she would end up at the academy as an instructor." Karik smiled. It was nice to be reminded of his Ma – his real Ma, he told himself fiercely. To their surprise, Yuko returned just as the healer was leaving, with a young woman at his side. "Lads, this is one of our clerks, Misi. She's our mind-speaker. Misi?"

"Your mother would like to speak to you, Karik," she said, sitting down on the chair beside him. Karik had hardly time to be surprised before she took his hand, and then his Ma's voice was in his head. Karik? Ma! Oh, Ma, have they told you what's happening? Yes, my dear, they have. I'm so sorry. Arman and Kei told us what they knew a couple of hours ago and since then I've been talking to Lord Meki, and then to Ambassador Yuko. How are you, Ka-chi? I'm fine. No... I'm not, he said, his eyes filling. Ma, I'm so scared. I want to come home. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. He saw Yuko take Gyo by the shoulder and usher him out of the room. I know you're scared, Karik. You must know we want to be there to help you but we can't. You know Arman is coming down – he's leaving in the middle of the night to come to Utuk. Yes, I know. Ma, who is this Senator Mekus? There was a pause and Karik wondered if the connection had been somehow broken. But finally – He's a dangerous and evil man, so whatever you do, don't cross him, don't trust him and don't give him any excuse to hurt you. If he does, Arman will rip his lungs out but I'd rather you were safe, do you understand, Karik? You do whatever you need to do to stay safe. Say what you have to, agree to what you have to. No one will blame you if you have to make compromises or agreements – and if you give your word to those bastards, it means nothing, do you hear? It's all under duress. Do what you have to do to survive. Trust Arman and Yuko, and no one else. Karik shivered. He'd never heard his Ma sound so cold and ruthless before. Karik, there's something else you need to know. Mekus is married to Mayl. Yuko told me. Will I have to meet her? Probably. You won't...stay with her, will you? Even in her mental voice, Karik could hear her fear. No, never. I swear. Ma, I'm just so scared. I know, I know...oh Karik, I'm so sorry we sent you away. I wish we'd kept you with us and never let you go.

It's not your fault, Ma. It's Jembis – really his father more than him. His Ma asked him to explain what had happened, and as Karik did so, and described the practical aspects of the trip like Gyo's seasickness, he found he was getting a hold on his emotions again. Gyo was very lucky you were there to help him. Well done, my dear. That only proves to me that you will come through this because you're sensible and brave. The praise went a little way towards easing the knot of worry in his chest. Is Pa all right? He's worried sick about you as we both are. He's listening – hold on. Karik waited, and then he heard his father's deep 'voice'. Karik? Son, your mother's right – you do what you have to until you come back to us. Be damn careful what you say to that Mekus bastard, and don't give him any information if you can help it. Lie if you have to. I know that goes against all we've taught you, but the rules don't apply to someone like him. Now, tell me – how's Gyo holding up? All right. Upset. He spoke to his Pa earlier. Good. I know you boys are facing a hard time. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for not waiting to send you to Darshek until I was fit. No, Pa...! No, son, it is my fault. We both knew you might be at risk from the Prij, although we didn't think it would be this way. I failed you, Karik. I won't fail you again, and I swear we won't rest until you come back. Arman's told us to sit tight until he sees what he can do, but if I have to, I'll come to Utuk myself to fetch you back, Arman or no damn Arman. Pa, don't! I don't want you to be caught too! Reji, this doesn't help, his Ma said in a calmer tone than she'd used up to now. Karik, dear, we probably won't be able to do this again after tomorrow, so if you want to talk about anything now, we're listening. Karik just wanted to be there with them and safe, and couldn't really think of much to say but that. His Pa gave him some news about the beasts, and his Ma told him about Lori falling off his father's roof and turning his ankle. Karik told him more about Kei's plans for him, and how much he loved the academy, and

even about the menagerie. He also told her more about nerf leaf and how that might be useful to Kei, and for a little while, it was almost like being home, talking about one of his plant finds. But it couldn't last. It was getting late, and he realised that Gyo and Yuko had come back into the room. He must have spent an hour talking to his parents, which was a dreadful waste of the mind-speaker's time. I better go, Ma. Yes, I know, dear. Remember what we've told you, and remember this also – whatever happens, you are our son. Our son and no one else's. And we love you more than life, Ka-chi. Yes, Karik, we do. Just come home when you can. If you can get messages to us somehow, then do so, but if you can't, we'll understand. Arman will keep us informed, he said. Be brave, son. Know that we love you. And I love you, Pa, Ma. He held the tero stone as he said the words. Please don't worry too much about me. Oh, my dear son, that's the one thing I can't promise you. Now, good night, Kachi. Sleep well and try not to fret too much. Good night, Ma. Pa, don't get kicked again. He heard his father laugh a little. I'll do my best, son. Good night. He blinked and the room came back into focus. Misi gave him a smile. "Ththank you," he said politely. "Glad to do what I can – did it help?" "Yes, it did." And it had. In some ways, he felt worse, but knowing his parents knew, and that they were right behind attempts to rescue him, was reassuring. He couldn't help but be worried by all the warnings about Mekus, but he knew his parents wouldn't have issued them lightly. He would need to be on his toes. But he was good at being unobtrusive, and he planned to be as meek and mildmannered as he could. If his stutter fooled them into thinking he was a half-wit, as it did with so many people, all the better. "Are you all right, Karik?" Gyo looked worried. "I'm fine. It wuh-was good to talk to them."

Yuko nodded. "Good, I hoped it would ease your mind a little. I'll send what information about you I have to Jena as soon as I get it. We've got nearly all of Darshian involved in this, you know. All the mind-speakers wanted to help. Your mother is very popular – and none of them like what's happening to you." "Oh." Karik flushed in embarrassment, but it was warming to know so many people were ready to help him. "Th-thank them for me?" "Naturally. Right, lads, it's getting late. Gyo knows about the arrangements tomorrow, and I would strongly suggest you both go to sleep. It's an early start for you. Someone will come to wake you with your breakfast. Thank you, Misi. Now, if there's nothing else? I'll see you both in the morning."

Chapter 10 Karik's exhaustion caught up with him quite suddenly and he barely remembered getting into bed. He was therefore quite startled to have Gyo shake him awake while it was still dark and tell him that breakfast had been delivered. Someone had set a lamp out, casting the room into dimly lit relief. He struggled up and rubbed his eyes – he hadn't thought he would sleep at all. Then he looked at Gyo, already getting dressed. "Did you sleep?" His friend grimaced then shook his head. "Not much. We have to hurry, Karik. At least...I have to hurry." Karik could tell Gyo was only holding onto his composure by his fingernails, and if he let go, Karik would be set off too, he knew. He got up and looked for his clothes, feeling sluggish and disoriented, not quite believing that today would hold so much grief for them. By the time he'd dressed, Gyo was waiting patiently for him to join him in the outer chamber where the food and a lit lamp was waiting on the table. Gyo picked up some bread but made no attempt to eat it, his mouth turned down miserably. "G-Gyo, you need to e-eat," Karik said gently. "I can't. This is wrong, Karik." "Yes, but you p-promised to be b-brave. P-please?" Gyo gave him a stricken look, but then bit into the bread roll with all evidence of distaste. Karik knew how he felt, but forced himself to eat a little himself. His own stomach felt like lead. He wondered what time it was – the sky outside the windows was still completely dark. It was only a short time later that there was a knock, and the ambassador and his assistant, Urso, came in. "Oh, good, you're up. Gyo, did you rest?" At his head shake, Yuko sighed. "Not surprising, really. I'm sorry, Gyo. Are you finished? We need to get you down to the ship." Gyo put his plate down, dusted his hands and stood up. "I'm done." Karik stood as well, glad the farce of a meal was over. "Well, boys, it's time to say goodbye. I hope it won't be many weeks until you're reunited, and Gyo, I'm sure the mind-speaker in Ai-Tuek will pass news to you. You need to trust us that we won't abandon Karik." Gyo nodded then turned to Karik. "Ka-chi, I...um...." He put his hand in his pocket, and pulled out something dark. "I...I wanted you to have something, just

to remind you of me." He took Karik's wrist, and fastened something around it – a hair bracelet. Karik stared at it – his friend must have been working on it the previous afternoon, already planning to offer him this token of affection and friendship. "I know it's not much...." He suddenly hugged Karik. "I'm really sorry," he whispered. "It's all right," Karik whispered back, burying his face in Gyo's strong shoulder. How was he going to get through this alone? "Thank you." A gentle cough reminded him that time was short. He pulled back, and on impulse, removed the tero stone on its cord from inside his shirt. "I wuh-want you to t-take this h-home." He made Gyo bend down so he could put the precious thing around his neck. "K-keep it safe. T-tell Ma to g-give it back wuhwhen I'm home." "Karik...." Karik had to hold him for a minute or two until he collected himself again. "I'll look after it, Ka-chi. I'll think about you all the time." "G-good. You h-have to go, Gyo." "Come on, lad," Urso said, taking Gyo by the shoulder. "The calash is waiting downstairs. Karik, the ambassador will wait with you." "Goodbye, Karik," Gyo said solemnly, tears still wet on his face. "Don't let these bastards hurt you." "I wuh-won't." He lifted his hand in farewell and then Urso ushered Gyo out of the door. His legs felt weak all of a sudden, and he had to sit down. His neck felt naked without his stone, but he wanted it kept away from harm – like somehow he could keep his parents safe if the Prij couldn't get their hands on it. It was silly, he knew. But looking at the carefully – lovingly – braided hair bracelet Gyo had given him, he knew tokens had their power too. The bracelet was going blurry, and before he knew it, Yuko had pulled up a chair and put an arm around his shoulders. "Bravely done, Karik," he said quietly. "You maybe should go back to bed – we're not needed for hours and hours. I'll sit with you if you want." Karik didn't know what he wanted. Not being alone seemed like a good idea, but Yuko was no replacement for Gyo, or his parents. But the man's arm felt solid

and comforting and helped him stop being such a baby. "I think I'll j-just read," he said eventually. Yuko insisted on staying with him anyway. The dawn rose about an hour later, and by then, the ambassador had ordered his own breakfast to be brought, with fresh tea for Karik. Gyo would be on his way now, Karik realised, and the last hope he'd had that some miracle would let him join his friend on the boat, finally died. With that hope gone, he found he couldn't really muster any other stronger emotion. He just felt tired and dull, unable to really think clearly about what was about to happen to him. Yuko was a silent, patient presence for which he was grateful. "Wuh-when do we go?" "In a couple of hours. When the sun is fully up and the nobles have had time to break their fast. I've arranged to get your clothes dried properly and mended. Ideally you should wear new clothes, but there's no time for that. You should wash and groom yourself as best you can. The Prij put a lot of importance on appearances." As if he cared what the damn Prij thought of him. But his parents had impressed him with the need to cooperate, to make as little trouble for himself as he could, and if Yuko was advising him to groom himself, he would do that. He would do whatever it took to get home. "M-Ma said M-Mekus is evil." Yuko grimaced. "That's putting it a little strong, but I wouldn't argue against it. I've had more dealings with him over the last seven years than I'd personally like. He's a very powerful man, Karik. He has her Serenity's ear, and his son, who's his father's child in every way, is her husband. The family are all influential. His daughter died a few years ago, but she was once also close to the sovereign. Apparently she helped make the match between her brother and the sovereign. We simply can't afford to ignore his wishes. However, he can only go so far, and trust me, we'll do all we can to keep him to his limits." Yuko leaned forward and touched his arm. "Karik, the Rulers won't risk a war to save you. But that doesn't mean that they won't save you. Every Darshianese citizen is valuable, and you have powerful friends. I know it's hard, but see this as an opportunity very few people in our country have – to see the Prij from the inside. Knowledge is power, you know. And it may yet be useful to you. Get what you can from this experience, and leave the politicking to us." Karik nodded. It was the same approach he'd adopted on the boat. "Wuh-where will Arman stay?" "In the embassy, if he wants, though he has family here still. His brother is a senator, did he tell you that? That's the other factor – Arman's family are also

powerful in their own right. I've met his brother – he's a good man, an intelligent one. I know Arman himself is in bad odour, but that family have influence and if I know him, he'll use it to your advantage. So, you see, we have many, many strings to our bow, and many arrows to fire before our quiver is empty." His words should have given Karik hope, and they helped a little, but he knew nothing of power and government, or how such things were done, so they were mostly meaningless. In his world, people did things for the common good and for their families, and that was it. No one in Ai-Albon would kidnap another person's child, or separate mother and son. That level of spite, of evil, was simply beyond his experience. He wished it was going to remain that way. Inexorably, time passed. Yuko left him to have a wash and to comb his hair carefully. He was glad his new clasp and all his other birthday gifts were safe in Darshek. He didn't want these Prij to get their hands on the least of his things, the precious reminders of the people who loved him. By the time he'd tied off his hair, Yuko had returned with the housekeeper who had his cleaned clothes. They were still warm from the oven against which they had been dried, and as he dressed in the clothes made for him by Sira, he straightened his back. He was Darshianese, a man of Ai-Albon, and he would meet this Mekus that way. Yuko seemed to notice his resolve, and nodded with approval. "You look fine, lad. Are you ready to go? I can give you another half-hour, if you need it." "No. I'm r-ready now." Yuko put a hand on his shoulder and led him downstairs. The embassy was busy, to Karik's surprise – they started early just as they did in the village, it seemed. Yuko spoke to a woman who left, presumably to arrange their transport. "I'm going to ask for you to be allowed to stay here, Karik, but there's no real prospect of that request being granted. I'm going to ask you to cooperate with them in every way, but you don't need to offer them more than that. If they ask you about more than the affairs in your village, then plead ignorance. In fact, if you want to come across as pleasant but stupid, I won't do anything to interfere." Same advice as his parents had given him, more or less. "I c-can look very sstupid," Karik said, attempting humour. Yuko appreciated the attempt. "No doubt, but you are far from it, I know. Mekus has a low opinion of the Darshianese – I suggest you pander to that expectation. But claim ignorance rather than lie outright, if you can. Lie if you have to, but it

would be better to avoid it. It could come back on you – and us. Ah, there's the carriage." He made a minute adjustment to Karik's shirt, then nodded. "You'll do well, Karik." The short ride was conducted in silence, and Karik's previous calm began to desert him. Everywhere, there were Prij and he looked in vain for familiar faces, familiar skin and hair. It all looked so alien, so different from Darshek, which had not been like the village but yet retained a feeling of being Darshianese. Here, the buildings were all the wrong shape, the wrong height – the wrong materials. The trees were oddly formal, and everywhere were jesigs, rather than urs beasts. Even though his natural curiosity urged him to savour these new sights and sounds, they were just another reminder of what was happening. Yuko seemed to notice his discomfort and took his hand discreetly, holding it even as they were admitted through the gates of the palace. There were soldiers everywhere, and the palace was huge, all stone and metal. It looked big enough to swallow Ai-Albon whole. They dismounted and were greeted by an official wearing long blue robes. Yuko bowed politely and Karik carefully imitated him. The official spoke only in Prijian and Yuko didn't pass on the conversation, instead telling Karik to follow them as they went into the palace. More soldiers. Gold and bright paint everywhere, stone floors instead of wood or tiles, high ceilings that he had to lean back to see. It was nothing at all like the Rulers' House which somehow managed to seem welcoming as well as imposing. This place said to the visitor that they were lowly beings and could be crushed anytime the ruler of this domain wished it. It made him shiver just walking along the corridors. They were made to wait a good while in a heavily ornamented chamber, something Karik thought was odd but Yuko leaned over after a few minutes and whispered, "He always does this. It's to show he's more important than us." How charming, Karik thought. Formal manners weren't much valued by the Darshianese, but courtesy was. It seemed the Prij were different. Or at least, this Prij was. He thought they must have been kept waiting for nearly an hour, although it was probably not as long as that, before a man came and summoned them to the inner room. There, an elderly man with a sour set to his features greeted Yuko from behind a desk – but did not rise to do so, Karik noticed. Yuko bowed again and spoke in Prijian, waiting until he had a reply before indicating Karik. "The lad

speaks none of your language, Senator. I beg your indulgence in continuing in Darshianese." The man indicated agreement with an impatient wave of his hand. "Thank you. Senator, this is Karik, of Ai-Albon. Son of Reji and Jena of AiAlbon." "Supposed son, you mean," the man said. "Sit down, ambassador." Yuko led Karik over to the chairs and indicated he should sit. Karik already disliked this Prij – he had no reason to be so rude. The senator looked at him, and Karik tried not to appear nervous. "So you claim your mother is Sei Mayl, I understand. Speak up, boy." Karik stared, then shook his head. It was a lie but if he didn't actually say the words.... The senator made an annoyed sound. "Ambassador, you're not continuing this pretence that you don't know this boy's parents?" "With respect, Senator Mekus, I really have no knowledge of Karik's parents other than what I've told you. He himself doesn't know their identity. He's been raised by two Darshianese citizens and under our law and by our customs, he's as Darshianese as I am." "Is that so?" the senator said heavily, before clicking his fingers. His assistant slipped out of the room. "The physical evidence suggests otherwise, ambassador, and it seems that the boy's ignorance of his parentage may not be as deep as you say." The door opened again. Karik turned and nearly fell out of his chair when he realised that the captain of the ship on which they'd come to Utuk had come into the room. Jembis was behind him, and to Karik's sorrow, it was obvious that someone had been taking out a considerable temper on him. He smiled at the older boy to show him a little support. Jembis smiled back, his swollen mouth twisting the expression – it looked very painful, but the senator gave them very little time to look at each other. He snapped something at the captain, who bowed and gave an answer. "The captain says you told him and another sailor that your mother's name was Sei Mayl. What do you say to that, boy?" Karik forced himself to stay calm. "H-he's muh-mistaken." Mekus made a noise of disgust, presumably at his stutter. "Strange mistake to make."

"Excuse me, Senator, but my son heard it too and was told more by the two boys." Mekus turned his attention to Jembis. "Well, boy? What did this one tell you about his family?" "Not much, sir. He said he was from Ai-Albon and his parents lived there." The captain let fly an oath and raised a fist to his son, grabbing his collar and shaking. "Tell him the truth, you damn bastard! Tell him what you told me!" "I don't know what you mean, Father. Karik's from Darshian, I told you that." "You little cur! What about telling me about General Arman?" "Who?" That earned Jembis a vicious blow which sent him crashing into the wall. "Senator!" Yuko cried, as horrified as Karik was. "Stop this brutalisation, I beg you!" Mekus snapped something at the captain, who subsided. Karik started to move towards Jembis, but Yuko put a restraining hand on his shoulder, giving him a warning look, so Karik could only wait for Jembis to recover without help. He seemed a little dazed by the blow, but he eventually managed to give Karik a cheeky, albeit crooked smile. Karik admired his courage, if not his commonsense. He understood the depth of Jembis' sacrifice, that he had done his best to atone for his crime, and forgave him on the spot for his mistakes. It had taken real bravery to lie, knowing what would happen to him. "Get the boy out of here, captain, this is a complete waste of my time." The captain pulled his son up by his shirt and pushed him ahead of him. "Good luck, Karik!" Jembis called as he was shoved through the door. He was gone before Karik could reply. Yuko gave Karik a quick, sympathetic glance. "Well, Senator, it seems the question of Karik's parentage is as I said it was. Sei Arman is on his way and he should be able to clarify matters, but until then, it would perhaps be convenient for all concerned if Karik stayed at the embassy?" "I'm sure you would think that, ambassador Yuko, but her Serenity has ordered that the boy stays here. He's clearly a Prijian child, and therefore no concern of

the Darshianese. As to whether Sei Arman can or cannot clarify matters, remains to be seen," he added with a sneer. "Karik, you are now a ward of her Serenity, under my care." Karik could only nod, shocked even with Yuko's warning, at the turn of events. "We would still respectfully request that we have regular contact with Karik, for the sake of his adoptive parents." "An illegal adoption with no standing in Kuprij gives no one any rights. You'll receive reports, ambassador. I hope you don't mean to imply that any harm would come to a child in my charge." Yuko bowed his head respectfully. "Of course not, Senator. However, the legality of the adoption aside, he has friends and people who love him, who are naturally anxious for word of him. I know Lord Meki would count it a personal favour if you were to allow us to receive it." "Hmph, as if I care for Lord Meki's regard. I'll consider it, ambassador, but for now, our business is concluded. Does the boy have any other belongings?" "No, I'm afraid not. Karik, you've heard Senator Mekus. You'll be well-treated. Sei Arman will be here in a week's time and I'm sure this will be sorted out then," Yuko said, using his eyes to try and give Karik some reassurance. Karik could only nod. "Very well. Thank you for your time, Senator, and I will be in contact again. Farewell, Karik. We'll meet again soon." Mekus waved his hand in dismissal, and the assistant led Yuko out. Karik tried not to fidget under Mekus' hard gaze. "Are you aware, boy, that lying to a senator in his official position is a criminal offence in Kuprij? I could have your tongue torn out for what you just did." Karik swallowed, but said nothing. Mekus snorted. "Not prepared to risk that now, I see. Your lies are pointless, boy. You're the very image of your mother, and I know perfectly well you are my wife's son. However, it's unimportant what you say or don't say. You're to come to my house and be educated." "E-educated?" He couldn't help his voice squeaking a little. "Yes, educated. Taught a proper language, given some decent manners. We'll get you out of those outlandish clothes too. Your father will have to admit we've improved you by the time he sees you." "My f-father?"

Mekus sneered unpleasantly. "Oh, stop the pretence, boy. When Sei Arman gets here, he'll want you back, but her serenity has no intention of letting one of her subjects go into that traitor's hands." Karik stared in shock. "Ah-Ah...?" "Are you half-witted, boy? Spit it out!" Karik gulped and tried to control his breathing. "Ah-Arman? Is my fuh-fuhfather?" "Oh, good gods. Do you really think...." His eyes narrowed. "No, you really didn't know, did you. How... interesting. Sei Arman was my wife's first husband. You're his son – obviously not one he valued very much if he sent you off to be raised by heathens. Perhaps you might think yourself fortunate after all, boy, that fate has brought you back home. At least we want our children at our side. We don't cast them off so we can go screwing our bumboys in peace and quiet." Karik felt his chest getting tight. "I-I...." He gaped at the man. "N-no. It's not trtrue." "Are you calling me a liar, you wretched youth?" Mekus' voice was close to a shout, and Karik remembered his parents' warnings about not provoking the man. "N-no, sir. I'm s-sorry." Mekus glared. "You'd better not. It's also a criminal offence to slander a senator. It's a matter of public record, your parentage. It's useless to deny your identity, boy. If you have no parents, then you are a ward of state automatically, and handed over to be cared for by the authorities. Better to claim the kin you have than to be a charity case, let me warn you. Now, get up. I'm going to take you to meet your mother. Treat her with respect, or you'll be flogged. I'll not have my wife's name smeared by her brat or her faithless former husband." Still reeling from the revelation, Karik obeyed Mekus' snapped instructions to follow him. Once more he was led through the palace, the object of curious and unfriendly stares. Mekus paid no attention to him at all, sweeping ahead of him as if he had forgotten he had a companion at all. Everyone they encountered bowed low as the senator passed. It seemed Mekus really was a powerful man – and a terrifyingly callous one, Karik thought. The way he had seemed completely unmoved by Jembis' treatment had revolted Karik. Mekus seemed to have no human feelings at all, and Karik despaired at the idea of being in his

hands for weeks, possibly months. But was it any better that apparently his only hope of salvation lay with a man – a father – who had rejected him and then lied to him? Could he trust Arman at all now? How many people knew the truth? He couldn't believe his parents did – how could they allow Arman to cast him off like he had? No, he must have lied to them too. It made him sick, to be betrayed by someone he'd been brought up to respect and admire. It was possible Mekus was lying, but Karik could think of no motive for him to do so. Dispirited and depressed, he trudged obediently after Mekus and his swirling robes, and was led outside the palace again, where a finely made and brightly polished carriage was waiting for them. It was harnessed to two midnight black jesigs, and even to Karik's inexperienced eye, they looked both well-bred and expensive. Mekus seemed to be someone with wealth as well as power, but who lacked happiness. He hadn't smiled once in the time Karik had been with him. He was ordered to mount, and then Mekus snapped an order out to the driver. During the whole journey, he stared at Karik with an unpleasant expression, as if Karik was a piece of urs shit that had somehow managed to stain the immaculate interior of the carriage. Karik wondered if Mekus hated him particularly, or whether he treated everyone this way – after all, he'd been scarcely more pleasant to the ambassador, who was both polite and inoffensive. And for some reason, Karik's mother had married this man after having been married to Arman – two men more different in personality and behaviour, he couldn't imagine. But then, he didn't really know Arman at all, it seemed. Perhaps Arman just seemed to be polite and considerate, but did that mean he had fooled Kei or did Kei know the truth about him? That even Kei could be deceived was just one more thing to make him feel hopeless about the situation. The journey wasn't very long, and took them to what was obviously the residential part of the city, on a low hill that had views down to the palace and further onto the harbour. The carriage drew up on a drive in front of a house that seemed almost as big as the palace itself. Servants ran out to take charge of the carriage and to assist the senator down from it. Mekus continued to ignore Karik and stalked into the house, the doors opened by invisible hands. Karik trailed after the man – the house seemed to swallow him up as he entered it. It was lavishly decorated as the palace had been, with scenes of hunting and sea battles on the floors and walls. He wasn't given a moment to stop and examine the inlays as they moved quickly down a long corridor. A servant opened another door, and Karik followed the senator into a dark room that had wide doors opening out onto a garden. Mekus was clearly greeting someone, but the contrast between the room and the sunlight garden made it hard at first to see who he was

speaking to. Then Karik saw her lying on a long chair. "This is Sei Mayl, boy. Your mother. Show some respect!" Mekus hissed. Karik hastily bowed, but then couldn't tear his eyes off the woman who now stood to greet him. She was beautiful. Dressed in pure white, pale blonde hair piled in curls on her head, she seemed like a kind of angel, someone from the spirit world sent to speak to him. She held out her hands and dazed, Karik took them, accepting the brief kiss on his cheeks she gave him. She said something and he looked to Mekus for a translation. "Your mother welcomes you. She says it is a miracle that you have finally come home to her." His mother smiled, and led him over to the chair on which she had been sitting. Mekus continued to translate her words. "She wants to know if you are well, and would you like something to eat or drink?" "N-no. No, th-thank you." She patted his hand, but then to his dismay, a tear ran down her cheek, even as she smiled. "Wh-why is she crying?" Mekus snorted. "Well, why wouldn't she cry, boy? That traitor Arman tore you from her bosom while you were still suckling at the breast, and she has had not a word of you in sixteen years. He cast her aside, divorced her, all so he could carry on an affair with that Darshianese man. Her fault was simply not to excite his desire once she had become pregnant. Do you know nothing of a mother's love that you can't understand her pain?" Karik stared at his mother, now holding his hands. She was really lovely. Not a young woman, but her soft, pale skin was so perfect. His Ma – Jena's – face was brown, and weathered, and already had lines around her eyes. But his...mother's... was like that of a girl's. "I'm s-sorry. I...I d-didn't know." "I'm sure. A man who could betray his own country, his own family, his wife, wouldn't stop at concealing the truth from his son. He called you Karik, but your real name is Retis." At Karik's look of surprise, he elaborated. "It's the name that had been chosen for you, naming you after your esteemed great-grandfather. If Arman had not torn you from your true family, it would have been given to you by her Serenity herself, in a naming ceremony at the palace. Instead, he called you after a servant. Shows you how much he values you, doesn't it?" Karik blinked. He'd been told Karus was a much loved teacher – were teachers servants too? It was clear servants held no importance in this culture if it was

something shameful to be named for one, but teachers were revered in Darshian. He was horribly confused. His mother stroked his cheek. "Retis," she said affectionately, and then something else. "She says she prayed for your return, and prays now that you will not abandon her again, since the gods have not seen fit to bless her with another child." He didn't know what to say. What Arman had done to her was so wrong – but the idea of staying in Utuk, in this house, under Mekus' care, also felt wrong. He thought it best to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open his mouth and cause offence. Mekus didn't seem to notice his lack of response, speaking to his wife in a conversation he didn't bother to convey to Karik. His mother smiled again and patted his cheek. "Your education as a Prij will commence forthwith, Retis. We have engaged a tutor to instruct you in the language, and a tailor will come shortly to measure you for clothes befitting your station. We'll also have to have that ridiculous hair cut." "No!" His mother frowned and Mekus glared. "Are you refusing to have your hair cut in the correct manner, boy?" Karik's hand went instinctively to the tail of his braid. "Pl-please...sir, i-it's.... I ccan't." "And why not, pray?" How could he explain the important of the braid to a Prij? "I just c-can't." "I don't know what kind of behaviour they teach you in Darshian, boy, but in Kuprij, we expect children to obey their parents. If you were my son, I'd have you flogged for this insubordination!" Karik cringed, and his mother put her arm around him. She seemed to be reproaching her husband, who snapped something back, and then addressed Karik again. "Your mother begs me to remember that you haven't had the benefit of a decent upbringing, so I'll overlook your impertinence this time. Don't repeat it, boy, or you will be flogged, I promise you." He strode over to the wall and pull a cord. "You'll be taken to your rooms. Don't attempt to leave the house, or

to contact anyone outside it. I don't allow liberties in children, let me warn you now. But I believe in rewarding good behaviour too. Make your mother happy and you won't find me ungrateful." "Y-yes, sir." "You will address me as Senator." "Y-yes, Senator. I-I'm s-sorry." He shook his head and snorted with disgust. "Perhaps Arman knew how feebleminded you are," he muttered. "That stutter can be corrected and it will be, if I have any say in it." He said something to his wife, and she nodded. "Your mother agrees. You will be taught not only to speak our language instead of that singsong chatter, but also to speak it without that disfigurement. The pure language of the Prij should be spoken with eloquence, not sputtered like a puling child's cries." Was it possible for this man to be any ruder, Karik wondered, even as he nodded as if to have his native tongue derided was perfectly acceptable. He wondered if they might forget about the hair if he managed to learn Prijian, but somehow he doubted it. How would he explain it to his parents? They'd said do anything – but to cut his hair...to remove the most important mark of his clan membership and to be treated as if he had died, seemed an appalling thing to do. If only he spoke Prijian now, he might be able to ask for his mother's intervention, but he had no hope of using Mekus to make that request. His unhappy musings were interrupted by the door opening and an elderly man coming in. He seemed to be another servant, because he bowed low to both Mekus and Karik's mother, but his clothes looked a little better than the others Karik had seen, and he carried a long black cane. "Retis, this is Mykis, my steward. He will take you to your room and answer any questions you may have." Mykis bowed to him. "Pleased to make your acquaintance, Tir Retis." "T-Tir?" "That is your title," Mekus explained, with a hint of impatience. "You are the son of the child of a senator. You are of the nobility, Retis. Make sure you remember that. Mykis, take him to his rooms, I wish to speak to Sei Mayl alone." Mykis bowed. "Come, Tir Retis."

He stood aside and let Karik leave the room ahead of him, before closing the door. "This way, Tir Retis." Karik wanted to yell at him to stop calling him that. This was a nightmare, surely. Only in a nightmare could everything he thought he knew be so thoroughly overturned. He glanced down at the hair bracelet Gyo had given him – surely he could rely on this, at least. Gyo's friendship, his parents' love – these were no lies. But if they didn't know the person they claimed to love.... He was taken a good way through the huge house, and gave up trying to remember where everything was. If he had to find his way on his own, he would just get hopelessly lost. Finally he was taken to a large bedroom, rather brighter than the one his mother had been using. "This was Sei Prijus' room, Tir, before he left to marry her Serenity. Another is being prepared for your own use, but this should be comfortable." Karik nodded mutely. The room, like the rest of the house, was rather elaborately decorated, and full – overfull – of ornate furniture. Mykis showed him where everything was. "Wh-where's the wuh-wuh-washroom?" Mykis frowned. "You mean what the servants use? You will take your baths in this room, Tir." He indicated a large wooden cabinet. "That is the bath." Karik gave up. No doubt the mystery would be cleared up, since people clearly did bathe in this society. Mykis continued his explanations. "Now, if you require anything, ring the bell. I am the only one of Senator Mekus' staff who speaks Darshianese, so I will be your attendant, which is my honour, naturally," he said with a fawning bow that made Karik very uncomfortable to see. "The hairdresser will be here in an hour or so." "Th-thank you," Karik said, although Mykis probably missed his sarcasm. Mykis bowed again. "Let me say how pleased I am that you have come home, Tir Retis. When your father took you from my mistress, we all grieved, and worried that you would not survive, young as you were. I am glad to see his crimes did not go so far as to deprive you of life." "You kn-knew him?" "I've been honoured to serve your esteemed mother for twenty years now, Tir. I had to watch how cruelly she was treated by that dreadful man. Thank the gods that Senator Mekus took her under his protection, since she was cast out without child or any comfort at all. We all cursed Sei Arman, though I shouldn't say it."

Karik narrowed his eyes at the insult – if anyone was going to curse Arman, it should be him. "S-Sei Ah-Arman is my f-father." Mykis bowed again. "My apologies, I meant no offence. Forgive my speaking out of turn." Karik remained unconvinced that he was genuinely sorry for his words. "I wuhwant to be ah-alone now." "Of course." With another bow, Mykis left him, to Karik's relief. He sat in one of the wellstuffed, carved wooden chairs and wondered how his life had become one of the hells in such a short time. He touched his braid, and felt himself go cold at the idea of being violated that way – but why was he clinging to a false identity? For sixteen years, he had been raised by two people not related to him, while his real father had visited him, never acknowledged him, and denied him the truth about his birth. He wasn't Darshianese at all. He wasn't even Karik. He was this person, Tir Retis, with a mother he didn't know, a father who had abandoned him, and a step-father who despised him for being the son of a traitor. What was Arman going to do when he came to Utuk? Lie again? Cause his mother yet more pain? Would he finally acknowledge Karik or would he continue to deny his son? His hands were shaking, so he clenched them. It looked as if he could only really rely on himself, and in order to survive here, he would have to set aside one identity and assume one more acceptable to his hosts – or captors, however he wished to see them. Being the Darshianese Karik of Ai-Albon was no use to him here. He would become the Prijian Tir Retis of Utuk until time came to set that person aside, and who knew? Perhaps he would find he could finally be at home in his own skin. It was worth trying, at least.

The hairdresser exclaimed over the butchery of his hair, but Karik was glad he had done it. He'd wept a tear or two as he'd hacked at the root of the braid with the razor left out for him to shave his non-existent beard, but he had decided the only way he would not feel a victim in this situation was if he seized control of destiny, do before it was done to him. It was only hair, he kept telling himself. But he had kept a few long strands and twined it around Gyo's gift, before laying the bracelet safely in a drawer. Gyo's friendship was still sacred to him, whatever he called himself, and even if 'Karik of Ai-Albon' too, had to be put in the drawer

with the bracelet, he would keep both safe until he knew what would become of him. When the hairdresser had done primping him, Mykis bowed and told Karik how handsome he looked, to which praise Karik was indifferent. His looks meant nothing to him – they had been the mark of his otherness all his life. They had betrayed the truth of his parentage to those who knew the truth, and led those who did not to make unfounded assumptions about him and his intelligence. He wished he'd been deformed in some way – something that might explain why Arman had cast him aside before he was old enough to have a personality to dislike, or a stammer to despise. But no, he had to believe he had simply been a pawn in a war between two adults, both strangers to him. He meant nothing to Arman. That he was loved by Reji and Jena meant something for sure. But it wasn't enough to dull the pain of that first rejection. As he was being dusted off, the tailor came to measure him, which took an interminable time. Only once that was done, with the man offering profuse rejoicings at the honour of being able to serve him, was he allowed to get dressed. Of course, he wasn't allowed to put Darshianese clothes back on – he had to wear clothes belonging to the former occupant of the room. Mykis wanted to take his own clothes away, but Karik asked to keep them, since he feared they would just be burned. Clothes were precious commodities in Ai-Albon. Cloth had to be brought from Darshek, since the futik plant from which the best stuff was woven grew only in limited areas of the dry regions. New material was used sparingly, all clothing reused until it fell into pieces, finally being used to make paper. Karik had a vague idea of at least making sure the village got his clothes back to use, even if he never returned. He had a suspicion he wasn't thinking as clearly as he might about the issue, but he felt rather numb and cold inside. Which was good, because it let him remain calm as the last remnants of his Darshianese identity were taken away from him. His mother asked to see him once he was groomed to Mykis' approval, and he was told to take his lunch with her out on the terrace beyond the bedroom. She looked delighted at his transformation. "Your mother says now you look like a nobleman's son," Mykis dutifully translated. Karik nodded to acknowledge the unwanted praise. He looked out on the gardens – they looked almost as big as those of the academy, but these were purely ornamental. The climate here was even warmer than it was in Darshek, he noted. Gardeners would have a much easier time of growing plants than those in AiAlbon. "Tir Retis? Your mother asks what you are thinking about?"

"I-I wuh-was admiring the g-garden." That apparently pleased his mother, who smiled, and then urged him to try some of the food that was set on the table. It was all heavily spiced, and tasted very odd to his palate – he didn't care for it much, but forced himself to eat what was offered to him. If he was to endure weeks or more in this house, he had to get used to the food, and put thoughts of his mother's plainer cooking out of his mind. If he compared everything with home, he would go mad. 'Retis' ate food like this, even if Karik did not. But the part of himself he was trying hard to ignore was already homesick past bearing. Conversation was inevitably difficult, with his mother unable to speak his language and Mykis not concealing his impatience with his stammer particularly well. Still, his mother seemed delighted with the mere fact of his presence, and was very affectionate, touching his hair and his cheek many times, leaning over to hear his words, even though she didn't understand them. He imagined she was making up for lost time, and wondered again at the cruelty of someone taking a child from a mother's arms. It made Edi's hate of Arman seem less irrational, and the stories about Arman killing a boy in cold blood now seemed more credible. But against that, Karik had to set the fact that Arman was apparently coming to Utuk to rescue him. Was that simply because of his grudge against his former wife? His mother insisted on taking him for a walk in the garden, her pale features protected against sun by a hat and veil. Mykis' constant presence was an irritant, but his mother seemed not even to notice him. Karik supposed he would have to get used to having an attendant around until he could speak Prijian, and he doubted that would happen very soon. But who knew how long he might have to be here? He might well have time to become fluent. She invited him to sit under a shady tree. It was definitely a pleasant place to be, much more pleasant than the house, which he found oppressive. Some distance from them, two gardeners were toiling hard in the heat, and he felt sorry for them. He hoped they were able to stop and rest when they needed to. He was used to the sun, but the humidity here was strength-sapping, especially in the heavier, formal clothes that seemed to be expected of the class. His own class, he reminded himself. There was enough cloth in what he wore to clothe three people back in.... No. He must not. Do what he had to, his mother had said. His...Jena, had said. "M-Mother, wuh-why did Ah-Arman leave you?" Mykis hissed in a breath. "Tir Retis! Forgive me, but that's tactless of you."

Karik started to apologise but then his mother clearly wanted to know what they were talking about. Mykis translated, and his mother's expression became sad. She took Karik's hand and looked into his eyes as she spoke. Mykis translated again. "She says she married your father when she was very young and innocent, and he was a dashing soldier. She was very much in love with him, but he only wanted her for her dowry and her family's reputation to enhance his own. He rarely spent any time at home, preferring to carouse with his army friends, or the servants." To his shock he saw she was crying again, and he hastily searched in his voluminous pockets for the clean handkerchief that had been pressed on him earlier. She dabbed her eyes under the veil and patted his hand by way of thanks. "And then that man was put in the house to work as a servant. Sei Arman's previous manservant had been killed because Sei Arman had dragged the poor boy out onto a battlefield where he had no business being at all. Sei Arman immediately became besotted with this man, and threw over all his friends and family just for him, betrayed his country and left his home and his pregnant wife. He broke her heart, but when she was consoling herself with the joys of motherhood, he returned, took the child and turned her off. He gave her no reason other than that he planned to live in Darshian with his new lover." His mother dabbed her eyes again. "Even though she had done nothing wrong, she had to return to her family in shame. People began to put rumours out about her. Fortunately, Senator Mekus, who had loved her since before she married your father, stepped forward and asked for her hand. But she has mourned your loss for all these years. She will never forgive Sei Arman for that. And neither will I," Mykis added on his own account. Karik didn't know what to think. It was a level of callousness he could scarcely credit in anyone, let alone Arman, even with what he knew now. He was suspicious of Mekus' role in this story too. His parents were genuine, he knew, in their hatred of the man, and he'd heard it from several sources and seen it himself that he seemed to be utterly heartless. Yet he did seem to genuinely care for his wife, so maybe she was his saving grace? If the story was true, and he had no reason to doubt it, he could see no reason to excuse Arman's behaviour. Kei too, must surely share some blame, for he must have known that Arman was married. That Kei could be so selfish depressed him. His mother touched his cheek, and peered worriedly into his eyes. "Are you offended, Tir Retis? I know it's your father, but you asked the question." "N-no. I j-just...need to think."

Mykis passed on the comment and his mother nodded. "She understands. It must be a tremendous shock to you. If you want to ask any more questions, she will be happy to answer them. She has nothing to hide." Mykis lifted his head – another servant was coming across the grass. "Ah, the tutor has arrived. Tir Retis, you will need to attend to your lessons." His mother insisted on kissing his cheek before he left to go back into the house, his heart heavy, and his thoughts all disordered by what he'd heard. Could it have been a misunderstanding? If it wasn't, it looked as if Arman had managed to fool a lot of people for a very long time into thinking he was a decent human being. But what could he do about it? And more important, what was he going to do about the fact that two women now called themselves his mother? He couldn't deny his natural mother's claim because she had been unfairly treated all those years ago, but he loved Jena with all his heart. Assuming the role of a Prijian nobleman didn't change that. The tutor, a dried-up elderly man without a trace of a sense of humour that Karik could detect, was impatient with his distraction, and insisted that he pay attention. His method of teaching consisted of making Karik repeat words and sentences over and over, and rapping his knuckles painfully with a ferule when he stumbled over something, or stuttered. It had the effect of making Karik desperate not to make the slightest error, and to loathe the man heartily. Whether it would turn him into a Prijian speaker remained to be seen, but all he could do was try and endure, and to improve as fast as he could. It was either that or see how far up the tutor's arse his damn stick would go.

Chapter 11 Arman saw the familiar outline of Kuplik draw closer without it giving him the slightest pleasure – indeed, the sick feeling of dread that had dogged him for the last few days only grew stronger. He was almost certain he would not be arrested when he landed in Utuk, but it was less the prospect of that, than facing people and situations he had gratefully left behind sixteen years ago, that daunted him. Missing Kei didn't help and he hourly regretted that he had not given in to Kei's well-argued pleading to come with him. He'd known he relied on his lover's gentle temper to smooth his own, but he hadn't appreciated just how deeply entwined Kei was in his thought processes and mental arguments, and how much he needed Kei's uniquely humane way of looking at the world. His body ached too, wanting the comfort of Kei's touch which had not been denied it in all these years. But now was not the time for such maudlin thoughts, he told himself sternly. He occupied himself with seeing how the Darshianese engineers had helped the Prij improve their harbour defences, and the placement of cannon. He noted too, the permanently stationed ships from Darshek in the harbour, both bolstering the Prijian defence against their troublesome southerly neighbours, and ensuring the Prij themselves did not in turn become troublesome. The ships here were but a small part of the Darshianese deployment. The greater number of troops and ships were in South Darshian. Lord Meki had very much wanted Arman involved in planning that deployment but he had sturdily refused. His military life, his days of death and killing, were behind him. He had promised Kei that and he had kept that promise. But the soldier in him still noted things that might be improved, and began, almost automatically, to plan how he would breach such defences as existed. He knew he would never stop thinking that way, it was bone deep in him. So long as he didn't act on it, he supposed it wasn't really breaking his word. He kept out of sight as they came into dock – his face was familiar to many, and even after all this time, he knew he was a hate figure. But no one looked at him, or commented, as he disembarked. He looked around for the promised embassy official and there, just as expected, was Urso, who had worked in the Ruler's house for two years before going to Utuk. He knew the man and his young family fairly well and liked them all. "Welcome, Arman," Urso said, holding his hand out in greeting. Arman shook the offered hand heartily. "Good to see you. How's Kerti?" "She's fine. Expecting our second child," he added with a little smile of pride.

"Ah, congratulations – I hope it all goes well for her." Urso thanked him, then Arman asked, "Have you been keeping watch all this time?" "Not personally, but I was due to be here now anyway. The calash is this way." On the short ride to the embassy, Urso confirmed what they had expected – that Karik had been placed under the guardianship of the sovereign. Also expected, but unwelcome anyway, was learning that the boy was in the personal charge of Mekus. "Have you had any contact with him?" "Nothing. Yuko asks every couple of days but is just told that Karik is well. They don't see it as anything to do with us, you see." "Naturally they would take that line," Arman said heavily. Yuko came out to meet him as he got out of the calash, and Arman was glad to see him again. He had been a personal appointment of Lord Meki's with Arman's strong support – Yuko was a very able man, someone Arman had met under less than auspicious conditions years ago in Ai-Darbin, but who had become a firm supporter nonetheless. "Welcome, Arman. I'm sorry we meet again under these circumstances." "As am I, Yuko, and I'm sorry you've had the trouble." "Well, it's all part of dealing with these people. Come in, let me get you some refreshment." Over a welcome cup of pijo and pastries, Yuko and Urso gave him the full report, although there wasn't a lot more to what Urso had already conveyed. "Essentially, Karik will stay in Mekus' charge until someone claims him, or he turns eighteen, and one assumes that he will then make his escape. He seemed prepared to do whatever he needed to get through. Fortunately he's a sensible boy." "Not sensible enough to avoid this mess," Arman muttered. "I'll need a lawyer – may I presume on the embassy hospitality for accommodation?" "Of course – Lord Meki said to offer you every facility. However," Yuko said, opening a drawer and removed a letter, "your father sent this to me to give to you." "Ah." Arman opened it, wondering what his father's reaction to this business would be.

My son, It pains me to learn of your difficulties. Mari and I naturally offer you our best wishes in your endeavours to help this child. Should it be convenient, you are of course welcome to avail yourself of my house. If you receive no more suitable offer, I should like you to know that I have given instructions to Vekus to give you every assistance. You may have lawyers you can call on from the Darshianese side, so I make no presumption. I have also instructed Tarkus' firm to put whatever funds you might need at your disposal. Treat these as a gift or a loan, as you choose. Your father, Armis Arman winced. Sixteen years of patient rebuilding of a very damaged relationship, and yet his father still expected to have his generosity thrown back in his teeth. "My father wants to help, and I think it would be beneficial to bring him in on this." "Excellent," Yuko said, smiling. "He doesn't suffer from the disadvantage of being foreign, as we do. He's also put a calash and a very fine pair of jesigs with us for your use, and asked me to remind you that you still have clothes in store at his house." "Gods, they'll be full of the moth by now." But the fact his father had thought of such small details touched him. His father was always thorough, but this went beyond being meticulous. "The first thing I need to do is arrange for Karik to be formally recognised as my son." Urso cleared his throat. "I've taken the liberty of having our lawyers investigate the present situation and the relevant law. It will take a few days to arrange a hearing, but it should be a mere formality." "Yes, it should." It was unlikely Mayl would publicly flaunt her infidelity. "However, the sovereign may raise objections because of my unusual status." "I think not, in fact," Yuko said. "I've made tentative enquiries, and while it's true she's taking a personal interest, officially this is a paternity case like any other. I don't think she'll intervene. Not directly."

"One can hope. I'd best be heading straight to my father's house. He knows when I should arrive?" "I believe he's had a boy posted at the docks to watch," Urso said. "He probably already knows." Gods, did his father believe he wouldn't even contact him? "Then a delay will be rude. Thank you, gentlemen. I'll involve you in any developments. Yuko, if you would be good enough to let Kei know I've arrived, and he will pass the messages on. Has Gyo arrived?" "Not yet, but I expect word tomorrow – the following day at the very latest." The northward journey was always a little slower, so this was no cause for alarm. Arman shouldered his pack and sought directions to the stables where, as promised, the calash and what seemed to be his father's best animals were waiting for him. One never saw jesigs of this quality in Darshek, and Arman rather missed their speed. He felt a little conspicuous driving through the streets in his Darshianese attire and braid, even though he kept an otherwise unnecessary cloak pulled about him and over his hair. It was the first time in sixteen years he'd felt uncomfortable in his adopted role, and it was an unwelcome reminder of where he was and what he was doing. He didn't recognise the servants who came to take charge of the calash but there was not the slightest surprise at his arrival, so he was clearly expected. Indeed, even before he got to it, the front door was opened by a smiling Mari. "Arman, how wonderful to see you again." He bent and kissed her cheek. "And to see you, Mari." He took her hands. "Are you well?" "Very well. I live a life of pampered luxury, as you know," she said with a dimpled smile. "Come in, your father has been fretting ever since we got the word of your arrival." It was very odd indeed to step inside this house again. It had been the source of so much pain and hostility in the past, and it had been thirty years and more since he had been greeted so warmly at its door. His father was in the library and Arman didn't miss the relief in the sharp eyes, even as his parent covered it up with a cough and a gruff, "So you're here."

"Greetings, Father. I came from the embassy as soon as I got your letter. Your kind offers are much appreciated." "Well, it's the least we could do. Sit down, Arman, don't tell me you're not tired after being on a boat for a week." More pijo, and some of Mari's own sweet cakes. She joined them, sitting at his father's side as she had become accustomed to do. Arman was pleased to see his father looking so well and content, though he regretted the enlarged knuckles that were a sign of his troublesome arthritis. "And how is Kei?" Mari asked. "Very well, and saying only a little while ago how he was looking forward to a visit from you both again." His father coughed again. "Father, did Yuko brief you?" "Yes, he did. Damn Mekus. He's been insufferable, as you know, since Prijus married her Serenity. Amazing that he never trips and falls with the grandiose manners he has." "But I imagine Kita thinks them only fitting. I fear you will wait a long time for his comeuppance, Father." "True. So what's behind this, Arman? Merely a chance to tweak your nose? It's a lot of trouble for that." "Yes it is, but at the same time, I can imagine their glee when the chance fell into their laps. The fear I have is that he really means to keep Karik. I've been working on the assumption this is just spite, but if he thinks somehow to get his son back...." "His...son?" Mari was looking at him in confusion. Arman had forgotten that the depth of Mayl's perfidy had been kept from her. "Ah," Arman's father said. He'd clearly forgotten too, a rare lapse for him. "Mari, Karik is Senator Mekus' natural son – got on Arman's wife while she was married." "Blessed gods. And he knows this?" "Unfortunately, yes. However, he can't publicly claim the boy without revealing that he was carrying on the affair. I'm gambling that he still values his public image too much to do that, and doesn't want to show his wife up to be a whore. Pardon my language, Mari," he added with a little nod of apology.

"Oh, never mind me," she said. "I'm not that much of an innocent, Arman. I just find the violation of the marriage contract a despicable breach of trust." Arman coughed. "Er, well, you know, Mari, I was still married to Mayl when Kei and I...er...." She fixed him with a reproving look. "Then you should be ashamed of yourself too, Arman." "Mari, Mayl had played him false first, and this is ancient history," his father said, looking rather embarrassed. "I just wish I'd looked into her character better before I allowed the match to be brokered." "As you say, Father, that's ancient history." "Yes, but unfortunately history which resonates today. What do you plan to do?" "Well, I'd like to accept your offer of Vekus, if I may, and bring a claim of paternity. I can't see any objections on a legal point, but you would know better than me if personal ones would be raised. Yuko thought not." "Hmmm." His father steepled his hands. "There's no doubt your guts are soundly and comprehensively hated, my boy," he said with a slight smile. "In fact, one would almost think you planned it that way." "No, it was an accident of circumstance, I swear. But?" "But... well, Vekus can advise you better than I, Arman, but I've spoken to Tijus and he concurs with me that Kita could only really block this by a direct order that Karik not be handed over to you." "Which would bring her into conflict with Darshek." "Exactly so. And while that fool she married is certainly stupid enough to encourage it for his father's sake, the senate will not be happy. I can tell you that Kita is slowly becoming aware that she can't continue snubbing her nose at her senators if she wants her daughter to rule unchallenged." Arman leaned forward. "Things have become that serious?" His father nodded. "Yes, they have. The child is only eight. Her father could be regent were Kita to die, but Prijus has few friends, and he has lost Blikus' support. It is being brought to Kita's attention that if the senate and the army

oppose her, there are claimants to the throne who would not need a regent – and who are the preferred sex." "Interesting." It reminded Arman just how limited second-hand reports could be. Of course what his father had just told him was too sensitive to be passed in ordinary letters. "So she won't risk everything to suit Mekus." "Not at all. However, Mekus is more than capable of making trouble for you, Arman." "Yes, I know," Arman said with a sigh. "Father, I should get on and arrange the meeting with Vekus." "Let me send the boy with a message. You've done enough travelling for one day and Vekus is ready to come here to meet you, he said so." Arman nodded, touched by the thoughtfulness. Mari stood up. "Armis, I'll send him in to you. Arman, would you like to freshen up? Perhaps even a nap or something else to eat?" "A wash, thank you, Mari. And a chance to stretch my legs on solid ground, if I could." His father grunted. "Leave Vekus to me, Arman. Go settle in. I'm sure you recall where your room is." The gruff words were only habit, Arman knew. He bowed to his father. "Thank you. Knowing I was to see you both again, and be able to call on your support, has been a comfort, Father." His father harrumphed, and waved his hand in dismissal, but Arman fancied he was pleased by the thanks. It was a habit that Kei had taught him, and he sent grateful thoughts to his lover for the lesson. He took Mari's arm, long residence with the Darshianese having also taught him the value of physical contact with those he cared for. "You look well, Arman. I swear you don't age at all up there. Is there something in the air?" "I think it's just being happy, Mari. You're hardly wizened and decrepit either." She looked the picture of gracious old age, in fact, every line and wrinkle earned from a life of sweet temper and gentle smiles.

"Oh, you flatter me." She opened the door to his old room – to his utter astonishment, everything was just as he'd left it the day he'd gone to be married to Mayl. He'd thought it had long ago been turned over to other use, but it only lacked his books and personal toiletries to be exactly as it had been when he lived at home. "Tijus packed your clothes and your father had them cleaned and stored for you. He was keeping them for Tijus' boy, but he thought it was always possible you might want them again. I suppose he was right in that." She opened the wardrobes, and there was, indeed, Arman's modest collection of shirts, trousers and robes all hanging neat and clean, and apparently free of infestation. He'd mainly worn tunics and uniforms as an adult, but he had ceremonial and formal clothes, and a few civilian items which had seen little use. "I wonder if it's best to appear Prijian or Darshianese," he murmured, fingered a fine linen shirt. "I think it's best to appear yourself," she said simply, closing the door. "Arman, I didn't know about Mayl and the boy. I'm so sorry you had that burden." "It's a long time past, Mari. Karik belongs to two very good people who love him dearly. I'm here for them, not for me. I care nothing for her, so long as she doesn't stop his return." She turned to look at him. "And will she?" "Not directly. But enough about that. How goes the school?" She clapped her hands in delight. "Oh, it's going wonderfully, Arman. In fact, I'm going to take advantage of your presence and have you inspect it while you're here." "That will be a pleasure, Mari. How many students now?" "Twenty – we took on another two this week. And Piejis, you remember I told you about him? He says he wants to go to the academy in Darshek to study healing with Kei." "Then I'll speak to the Rulers about a scholarship. Excellent news, Mari. It continues to be a fitting memorial to them both." "Your father was thinking of endowing another school in Garok. He's spoken to Tijus about it."

"I think that is also excellent news. You are, as ever, a good influence on our family." She blushed. "No, Arman, the credit lies with you and your father – and Karus originally. Without his legacy, we'd never have started this, and without the money you gave me, we would have not have been able to take on so many children." "Then it's a joint venture. I'm just pleased it continues to thrive." She smiled at him. "Look at me, bending your ear and you haven't even unpacked. Let me have bath water sent in and you can clean up. We'll be in the garden, so come out when you're ready." He thanked her, and once the door closed, he disposed of his few possessions into the drawers of the dresser. Karik's pack he left alone, since the boy would not need it for some time, unfortunately. He sat on the bed as he waited for the hot water to be brought to him – a proper bath would be welcome after a week on-board ship, though he regretted the lack of Darshianese facilities in this house. So far, his return had been easier than he'd feared. It helped that he had not, as yet, encountered anyone from his past who was hostile to his presence. That would change the moment he brought his suit and his reappearance became public knowledge. The more he thought about it, and after both his father and Yuko had stated that they thought Kita would not intervene in this, Mekus' actions seemed pointless even by that fool's standards. The paternity suit would not be contested, and once Karik was publicly acknowledged to be his son, then Arman had a perfect right to take him back to Darshek with him, as had many other families before him. It was going to require another painful talk with the boy, he thought ruefully. Telling him that Arman's legal position and the reality of his parentage were two different things was not something Arman was looking forward to. Damn the boy, he thought. If he'd only kept his mouth shut. But it was pointless blaming a child, and an innocent one at that. If Arman was extremely lucky he might be on his way back to Darshek and Kei in a week. If not.... He just hoped his father and brother were right about Kita. Opposing the crown as a private citizen, and one without a proper footing in this society, was not likely to succeed, nor to be undertaken by anyone with a jot of sense, and Arman had always rather thought his commonsense was one of his few good qualities.

The bath seemed awkward and less than hygienic after years of the Darshianese system, but he could at least finally wash the salt from hair and skin. He hesitated over what to wear, and decided to stick to his own clothes for now. He still needed to decide how he would dress for the court hearing. He refused to cut his braid, but perhaps to appear in Darshianese fashion would not win him favours from a court he would have to presume to be hostile. It annoyed him that such trivialities might mean the difference between success and failure in his endeavour, and he was yet again grateful that this return to his homeland was strictly temporary. Refreshed, and now less tense now he knew his course of action and how to proceed, he went to the garden to attend his father. Mari had been busy, he saw. Every time they'd visited, Kei had plied her with seeds and cuttings from their own garden and that at the academy, and she had clearly had some success with them. His father noticed his admiration. "Nearly as fine as your own, don't you think?" "Yes, I do. It reminds me of Karus' garden, in fact." "Hardly surprising since Mari arranged for cuttings to be brought from there, and even some of the plants she thought might need more intensive care. I know nothing about such matters, of course, but it amuses her, and the garden benefits from it." Arman smiled to himself. His father's devotion to Mari was one of his most attractive traits, but the gods forbid he show more than amused tolerance of the things that brought her pleasure. Arman knew perfectly well his father would move heaven and earth to help her make her garden grow, should she need it, and that she wouldn't even have to ask before he arranged it. "Your arthritis is less troublesome, Mari said?" "It comes and goes, comes and goes, but you don't want to listen to me talk about my ailments like I was some dodderer in an invalid chair, Arman," he said impatiently. "Tell me of this harbour development. You know, Tijus says they could really do with building a new harbour in Garok, but with Kita's extravagances, the treasury won't bear it. We've had two major parades just since the new year, and Tijus says Blikus has put his foot down on any more for the next four months. He can't spare the manpower he says, but the truth is that he's sick of being on display." For all his father had retired and handed his position over to Arman's brother, he'd retained a keen interest in all civic matters, and Arman knew it pained him to see the wealth of the nation, garnered not just by war and invasion, but by the

hard work of men such as himself and his own father, frittered away on stupid public memorials to the royal family and extravagant shows for the masses. "He always hated it – so did I for that matter," he murmured. "These claimants to the throne you mentioned – they wouldn't be from families that oppose Mekus, would they?" His father smiled wolfishly. "Well, my boy, finding people who don't oppose Mekus these days is harder than the contrary. The problem is that he controls the populace – he's the one behind the spectacles, and is always prominent when largesse is being distributed." He leaned forward. "I've even heard it whispered that he was behind a couple of the riots." Arman was surprised at this statement. "But...if he and his son are encouraging her excesses...." He stopped. His father was watching him, waiting for him to solve the puzzle. "He's creating a fear of revolution in Kita's mind with one hand, and offering her his own popularity as a solution with the other?" "You say it, not I. But I wouldn't argue with you." "He's not smart enough to pull this off, you realise. It's a dangerous strategy even for someone with more brains." His father nodded. "Agreed, and the sooner Tijus gets Temir and the children out of this city, the happier I'll be." "Kei thinks you should all come north, to us. And I would agree with him." "A happy dream, Arman, and for myself, I would gladly come. Your young man is at least agreeable." Arman had to smile at that – only Kei could make his father glad his son was in a homosexual relationship. "But Mari loves her garden and the school is very important to her. Tijus...might. But Temir's family needs to be taken into consideration too." "Well, if they would at least move to Garok again – and Mari shouldn't put the school or this ahead of her safety or yours." His father settled back in his chair, his hands around the knob of his walking stick. "Arman, when you get to my advanced age, you'll come to realise that safety is sometimes less important than having the things and the people around you that are familiar. This has been my home all my life. I was born here. I admit if I had no ties at all, that this would be less important to me, but that I could give Mari refuge, that Tijus will inherit this house and raise his family here if he chooses is...pleasing. For such is what wealth is accumulated for."

"But if it becomes unsafe here...." "If it truly becomes unsafe, then I wouldn't hesitate in bundling everyone up and out. I'm not a fool, Arman, merely elderly," he reminded him with a sharp glance that showed his intelligence was completely unchanged by his advancing years. "But what is unsafe for an active senator with a young family, and what is unsafe for an old man who never goes out and who lives quietly and harmlessly behind high walls, is two different things. However, your concern is...pleasing to note, my son." "Do you really imagine I want harm to come to any of my family?" Arman said roughly. "Am I still so alien to you?" "No, you are not, Arman. And no, I do not." That simple statement gave him more pleasure than any amount of praise could have done. They held each other's gazes for only a moment more, but then, of course, his father broke it off and coughed. "Vekus will be here shortly. I took the liberty of arranging for him to make the necessary enquiries at the records office. Karik's birth was correctly registered, although Mayl called him 'Retis'." Mayl's grandfather's name? "Retis? That old bastard? I don't think even she liked him all that much," Arman said with disgust. "I'm surprised she didn't call him after Mekus. She was brazen enough for that." "You forget that Retis' sister-in-law was Mekus' first wife. I grant you that's rather subtle, but I think we can assume that's the important connection. In any event, Vekus has the certificate. I believe all you have to do is identify Karik as 'Retis' and it should all go through automatically." "It's all too easy, don't you think?" "You might regret calling the gods' attention to your endeavours that way, Arman. Ah, Mari, come and join us." She came to his side but did not sit. "I just came to let you know Vekus is here, Arman – Armis, perhaps the library?" His father nodded, but Arman held up his hand. "Father, I'd appreciate your being there – would you mind if I spoke to him out here?" His father seemed surprised. "Not at all – I assumed you wanted privacy, that's all."

"Whatever secrets I have can be shared with both of you. After all, if I'm going to claim a child as your grandson, you have a right to be involved with that." Mari looked taken aback, but his father only grimaced. "Ah, yes, I'd forgotten that aspect of it." "It's in name only, Father. The boy has a family of his own, and will be returning to them. Mari, could you ask Vekus to come through, please?" As she left, he turned back to his father. "I'm sorry. If I hadn't botched this sixteen years ago, we wouldn't be enduring this now. I could have left the child with Mayl – or given him to Mari." "I'm glad you didn't do either," his father said impatiently. "Let's not waste more time on pointless regrets, Arman. I wouldn't leave a dog for Mekus to raise. The way Prijus turned out is a caution to anyone on that score." "That was my reasoning, I admit. But I apologise for making free with our family's name." "Enough, Arman." He could tell he had really annoyed his father, and refrained from further comment, but he wondered if Karik would ever appreciate just how many lives he had disrupted with his broken promise. The meeting with the lawyer was brief and to the point. Vekus was business-like, but hardly friendly towards Arman – only to be expected, he supposed. Vekus told Arman a hearing could be arranged in four days – the delay caused by a religious holiday and the closure of the courts for two days. In the meantime, notices of intents would be served on the sovereign's lawyers and on Mekus. "If they don't contest the paternity of the boy, the matter should be dealt with that day, and Karik will be ordered to be returned to your custody immediately." "And then I suppose you will take the first ship back," Arman's father said. "Yes, I will. I'm sorry it will be such a brief visit, but I want Karik out of Utuk, and it is in fact a bad time for me to have left Darshek." "Yes, I know all that," his father said impatiently. Mari appealed to Arman with her expressive eyes, but he couldn't really offer to stay. He was needed at home. But this was not something to discuss in front of the lawyer.

Vekus said he would set things in motion this very afternoon, and was gathering up his notes when Arman heard his name being bellowed. He turned, and grinned. "Tijus! How did you know I was here?" His brother tapped his nose. "Ah, I have spies everywhere. Actually, Father sent a message. How are you, brother?" Arman let his brawny older brother embrace him in a bone-crushing hug – Tijus had always been demonstrative in a way Arman had had to learn slowly over the years. "I'm well, and you're obviously still fit as a bull." His brother, who took after his father in looks, was starting to acquire the same austere and distinguished features but despite it, still appeared vigorous and youthful. The life of a senator agreed with him far more than it would have done Arman. His father harrumphed. "You still have no sense of the dignity of your position either, Tijus. Vekus, thank you. Tijus, sit down and stop displaying that disgusting musculature." Tijus grinned and obeyed his father as Vekus left the garden. "I think they should bottle whatever they have up in Darshek, it seems to be the secret of eternal youth." "You can talk, Tijus, you get younger every time I see you." "It's the children, they keep you young, don't you think, Father?" "Hmmm. In my experience, they take years off one's life." Mari laughed. "Now, now, Armis, you love your grandchildren, don't deny it." "I love that I don't have to have them around me every day," he said, trying to look disgruntled and failing completely. "Tijus, my message said Arman would call on you tomorrow if he was free." "Yes, I know, Father," Tijus said, looking contrite, "but Temir insisted I come and see if you were free to come to dinner. Eren and Tije are so excited that you're here, Arman." "You, er, haven't explained why I hope." "No, of course not, what do you take me for? No, I told them you had important personal business. To be honest, they were more concerned about the fact that Uncle Kei wasn't with you."

"Ah, so my proper place in the universe is established. I am merely the conduit for Kei's graces." His brother laughed and patted his shoulder. "Sorry to break the truth to you, brother. It's all your fault for being with such a charming fellow." "Arman is charming too," Mari said stoutly, while his father coughed in a suspicious manner. "He is. He's just not as...vivacious...as Kei." "There's only room in the world for one Kei, I think," Tijus said with a wink. "But will you all come to dinner? Temir will be so disappointed if you can't." "Not fair, Senator, using your wife to manipulate me." Arman looked at his father, not wanting to cause offence by accepting an invitation if other plans had been made, but wanting to accept it anyway. "Is it convenient?" His father waved his hand. "Yes, of course, we may as well eat at your expense as my own." "Armis, how ungracious," Mari chided gently. "It would be a pleasure, Tijus. Let me just tell Cook so she doesn't start anything." "You know my people were planning to make something of a celebration for Arman's arrival, Tijus, did you not think of that?" Arman's father said as Mari slipped back into the house. "I'm sorry, Father, I was just so happy at the thought of seeing my brat of a brother again." Arman put on his most dignified face. "Oh, and will you be calling me that if I am chosen as a Ruler of Darshek, Senator Tijus?" The two men stared at him with identical expressions of shock. "Are you serious, Arman? A Prijian Ruler?" Tijus said. "Well, that was my reaction too. It's Lord Meki's idea. Don't say anything. I don't think he'll get it past the clan heads, let alone the populace." His father grunted. "If they have a grain of sense, they'll agree. Darshek won a real prize when they enticed you to join their side." "They didn't entice...."

"Oh, you know what I mean, Arman, don't argue semantics. The point is that Darshek's gain is Utuk's loss – more than ever, if you ask me." Tijus nodded, his pleasant smile gone. "Indeed, brother. It's bad enough that the old stagers are so hide-bound and jealous of their own positions, but much of the new crop of senators lacks any talent that I can see. Prijus encourages appointments according to who flatters the most, and more talented men who've served this country are overlooked time and again. It's causing an enormous amount of ill-feeling. I almost wish I was old enough to retire, but the thought of Tije taking on this position at this time makes my blood run cold." The idea of Tijus' polite, intelligent son being mired in the mess of Prijian government didn't exactly cheer Arman either. "Come to Darshek, Tijus. Don't tell me you're achieving anything here." His brother frowned. "I am, actually. Gods, Arman, just because you felt you could leave when your country needed you doesn't mean I'll abandon her. If we all felt that way, Kuprij would be a ruin in a matter of months." "Apologies, Tijus. I didn't mean to impugn your loyalty. I just...worry." Fortunately, Tijus was too amiable to hold a grudge. "I know, Arman, but you know, it's my job to worry about my little brother, rather than the reverse." "Not so little, you know." "I can still wrestle you to the ground." "I'd rather you didn't," their father said dryly. "I'd forgotten how tiring you two are when you get together." "I'm sorry, Father. It's just been too damn long," Tijus added, looking at Arman reproachfully. "And we wouldn't even have you here now if it weren't for this boy." "Tijus, you know why...." "I'm just saying, brother. Now, my calash is waiting, my wife is waiting, and my children are all groomed, clean and quiet, and they want to see their favourite uncle, their beloved grandfather and their adored Mari. Shall we go?"

Karik had been in his mother's house for more than a week now, and his resolve to act in the manner she and her husband expected was being worn away fast. Even the slight satisfaction he derived from restoring a little justice to his mother's situation was negated by the knowledge that there was something deeply wrong with this household. For one thing, the servants were nothing like the cheerfully confident people he had seen in the Rulers' House – instead they scurried about their duties as if they were terrified, of him and of their masters. Only Mykis walked proudly around his domain, though his obsequiousness towards Karik verged on the sly. Karik suspected he used his cane for more than show, and knowing the temper of his master, he couldn't imagine Mekus would care if the less important servants were beaten. That Mekus would have a home like this didn't surprise Karik. That his mother tolerated it, did. His mother was a puzzle all on her own. She rarely seemed to leave her rooms, and when she walked in the garden, she always guarded her pale skin against the sun. Such devotion to one's appearance was something Karik had never seen in any of the women – or men – of his acquaintance. Certainly both sexes in Darshian put a lot of time into grooming their hair because attention to it and one's cleanliness was a matter of self-respect, and both men and women would use tido sap cream against the burn of wind and sun which could cause painful cracking of the skin in the dry season. But more than that – Karik couldn't imagine anyone doing it for more than a day before they were teased and mocked out of it. But his mother seemed to do little else. He never found her reading when she asked to see him, although once or twice he interrupted a maid reading to her. He wondered if her eyes troubled her – it was possible, he supposed, though she was young for sight problems. He more often found a hairdresser with his mother than the maid with her book, though. Other things bothered him, and try as he could, he could make no sense of them. His mother never asked about his former life at all, and her conversations were either about her husband, or about how glad she was Karik was back in her life. Occasionally she would make dark comments about Arman, which was only to be expected, he supposed. But Karik never felt able to bring up the things that really interested him, or confide in her about the depth of his homesickness, or how he found the Prijian way of life very hard to adjust to. In fact, though it pained him, he really couldn't bring herself to trust his own mother. Nor, though he tried very hard, could he muster the same depth of affection for her as he could for M... Jena. Jena not being with him caused him deep pain, a real sense of grief, and he missed her hourly, missed her bright, snappy opinions on the

world. But if he were forced to leave his mother again, he honestly didn't think he would grieve at all. He would want to grieve, but that wasn't at all the same thing. He had thought it might change, given time. He was beginning to be afraid it wouldn't, and he felt very bad about that. He just couldn't understand why his mother put up with Mekus. The man was everything his parents had said, and seemed incapable of even ordinary politeness. Evening meals were a particular trial, since they were Mekus' excuse to interrogate Karik about his tutoring, his speech, his past, and Darshian, while making constant jibes about Arman, his adopted parents, and Kei. At times, Karik found himself having to clench his hands into fists on his knees under the table to stop himself throwing something at the man, and he was actually glad of his stammer because it inhibited him from snapping back retorts to the insults. His mother would listen, frown a little, then smile adoringly at both of them. He couldn't believe she actually thought Mekus was being kind. Maybe she didn't realise what he was saying, although the tone was pretty unmistakeable. He was beginning to have a suspicion his mother wasn't all that bright, and then he was ashamed at the thought. He had no business criticising someone who'd suffered so much. Mekus was constantly urging him to speak Prijian, but Karik was wary of his motives, and his despised stutter came in useful again. He made sure to be even less intelligible in Prijian than he was in Darshianese, which made Mekus think he was mentally defective. Since Karik cared nothing for his regard, that was fine. Actually, he was picking up quite a lot of the language after a week – although he was careful to also appear less than apt with the tutor. He was starting to work out just how long he would push the tutor before the man's temper and Karik's knuckles could take no more. However, he was learning pronunciation and the structure of Prijian, despite the tutor's archaic manner of teaching. It wasn't all that hard, just as Risa had said. More usefully, he had found a treasure in the library where the lessons were held – a Darshianese/Prijian dictionary. He was surprised to find that it was written by 'Karus of Utuk' and 'a Darshianese gentleman' – he wondered who that was, and if 'Karus' was the same man he'd been named for. He'd taken the book back to his room, Mykis telling him that the senator had said he could use such books as would help him advance, and since he wasn't allowed to leave the house, and roaming the gardens with Mykis at his side wasn't his idea of fun, he spent much of his free time reading through it and memorising words. He would have been bored to tears without this distraction – as it was, he wondered if Mekus intended to confine him indefinitely without any contact with the outside world. Already he was picking up bits of chat between the servants, but any attempt to converse with anyone but the family or Mykis was speedily squashed. In fact,

Mykis had got astonishingly angry one morning when he discovered Karik trying to engage in conversation the shy maid who'd come to tidy his room. He'd shoved the girl out of the room, and Karik heard something that he feared was a slap before Mykis came back in the room, his colour still high. "Apologies, Tir Retis. Some of the newer staff forget their station." With a hint that they weren't the only ones. "I wuh-was just trying to t-talk, Mykis. Pr-practicing." "Forgive me, Tir, but the senator would not be pleased to have you learning Prijian from the lower orders, nor to have you consorting with the servants. You have a proud rank and heritage, you must behave according to that." Karik had murmured an apology, but inwardly seethed at the snobbery and the man's violence. He hated Mykis. He was learning he hated a lot of things now in just a few short days in this country.He stopped trying to talk to the maids – he didn't want to get them hurt. But he hoped Arman, however much he despised the man, would be able to work his release. Two years living like this would be the end of him.

Arman was guiltily ashamed to admit it, but he was enjoying himself. Not all of it, he told himself with some relief. Missing Kei was a permanent, dull ache in his chest, and the nights were lonely. The prospect of the public court hearing wasn't exactly bringing him joy either. But the rest of it.... One thing he would never admit to Kei was how jealous he was of his family and the way he saw them every year. Every time they returned to Ai-Albon, Kei was swooped upon by friends and relatives alike, all of them ready to assure him how much their world was brighter for his presence. It wasn't that Arman wasn't welcomed too for his own sake, and not just for bringing Kei with him. But there was something deeply wonderful about the idea of being claimed by people one had known all one's life, many of whom were blood relatives. People with shared history of every kind. Kin. Something Arman only experienced in a much more limited way on his father and brother's rare visits to Darshek, and never with the same exuberance. He was never going home when he saw them. But here in Utuk, for the first time in his life, Arman had a taste of what Kei took for granted. His niece and nephew were ecstatic to have their uncle's attention for three whole days, and he found their company surprisingly enjoyable. Of course,

it helped that they were both old enough to carry out intelligent conversations, and despite his father's complaints, were not the kind of boisterous, thoughtless children that Arman intensely disliked. His brother beamed at him constantly, so happy to have him close at hand, and they fell into old relaxed ways with each other that Arman thought he had lost when Tijus had married. His father tried unsuccessfully to hide his happiness at seeing all his family together at the one time. It was new and wonderful for all of them, and all the more precious because Arman really would be leaving within days if things went well. Arman had explained to his father and brother that he really couldn't delay his return. He was needed in Darshek, Karik's parents were desperate to have him home safe, and he missed Kei. They'd listened and understood and had made no demands on him. But under their calm acceptance, he could see what he had never seen in their eyes before – or had missed for not believing it. Yearning, need – wanting to have him near, sadness at his going away. For many years, Arman had thought he was supernumerary to his family. Over this all too brief interval, he was beginning to realise how much he was wanted and loved, and it filled an aching gap in him he had long refused to even acknowledge existed. Arman had thought Kei had healed all his stunted emotions. Clearly there was a part of him that still needed healing. Still, he had his responsibilities. He had a child to return to his parents, a city that needed his talents, a nation that might be about to offer him its highest post. He'd had years when he could have reached out to his family, and had thrown that chance away. He should be grateful for this short time with them. He was grateful, truly. He just...couldn't help wishing for a little more, that was all.

Chapter 12 The peaceful interlude reached its natural end, and Arman prepared to say goodbye to his family as he readied himself to attend the court hearing. All being well, Karik should be in his custody within a day, and the two of them back on board a Darshek-bound ship shortly after that. The boy would stay at the embassy, it had been decided. His father had suggested Karik could come to the house but Arman thought his family had been imposed upon enough and had refused the offer, his father gruffly responding that he'd only been curious to see the child who was to be officially named his grandson. He was still something of a mystery to Arman at times. He decided to retain his Darshianese clothing after all. There was little point in pretending he still considered himself Prijian, and he thought the court might consider that he was mocking them. Besides, he loathed dishonesty and it was bad enough that he had already perjured himself in an affidavit, claiming Karik was, so far as he knew, his true son. He intended to keep as much of the details of what he'd been required to swear from Reji and Jena – it seemed hardly fair. It was only because Darshianese law had no force in Kuprij that he was in this ridiculous situation. Urso met him outside the courthouse. Vekus was already waiting inside for them. "They have filed no objections or supplementary papers," he told them. "Unless the crown objects formally, which they still can do, this will be over this morning." "A relief to us all," Urso said with feeling. "That poor boy, I hate to think what's being done to him." Arman agreed. He couldn't see Karik enjoying Mekus' company, although he wondered what he'd made of Mayl. Arman was slightly curious to know if she had managed to retain any of her youthful attractiveness, and what the true state of her marriage to Mekus was, but only because Kei would want to know. He smiled a little. Kei was terribly nosy sometimes, although he was also the soul of discretion. The bailiff came out and called their case. As they sat down on one side of the courtroom, Vekus muttered, "lawyers for the crown," nodding at the men arraying themselves on the other side. They looked well-fed and well-heeled, dressed in stiff formal, dark robes. Arman was conscious that he looked rather casual compared with them, but he still had his military bearing, and the arrogance of both army rank and class to stiffen his back and fix his expression

into hauteur. The lawyers seemed unmoved by his display of pride. They looked, he thought, insufferably smug. The judges came in, and Arman rose as his formal petition was read out by Vekus. "Come forward, Sei Arman," one of the judges beckoned. Arman did so. "Your honour?" "You state in this petition that the child, Retis, now known as Karik, is your son, born of Sei Mayl, now wife of Senator Mekus. You filed a petition for divorce six weeks after his birth. Were the two events connected?" "No, your honour." "You had no doubts of the paternity of the child?" Arman shook his head. "Yet, we understand," the judge said, shuffling his papers, "that you handed the child over to a Darshianese couple not long after you defected to the Darshianese side in the war. For what reason?" "Your honour, I was not in a position to raise a child myself at that point, and by the time I might have done, Ka...Retis had formed a bond with his foster parents. I judged it best for his happiness that he remained with them." The judges looked most disgusted at that idea, and a mocking titter ran through the court room. Arman became aware that the court's public gallery had suddenly filled up and he wondered if Mekus was watching from behind him. "Hmmm, not behaviour one would expect from someone of your rank, Sei Arman. However, there is no objection to the petition of paternity by the crown nor by Senator Mekus, and so the court finds that Sei Arman is the true father of the child, Retis of Utuk. Leit Rijis, this matter is concluded unless the crown wishes to bring something else to our attention." Arman got a prickle at the back of his neck as he suddenly realised the smugness of the crown lawyers was because they had pre-arranged something – something he was sure he wasn't going to like at all. Rijis was standing now. "Yes, your honour. We have a petition requesting that custody of the child Retis be awarded to Senator Mekus acting as guardian for Sei Mayl, and in the interests of her father, Senator Jecus. The crown supports the petition. We further petition that the child Retis remains in the wardship of the crown while this is contested." He handed up a paper to the bench. "A petition denying Sei Arman's rights on what grounds, Leit?"

"Moral turpitude, abandonment of his heir, and failing to provide his heir with religious and cultural instruction." "Have you copies of the petition? You may serve them now." Arman stood stunned as documents were handed across to Vekus. He should have expected this. Why hadn't he expected this? "Your honour, they brought no objection...." "Silence, Sei Arman! Leit Vekus? You accept service?" Vekus bowed. "Yes, your honour. We request two weeks to study the documents and prepare a response." "Two weeks granted. The child Retis, known as Karik, will remain in the wardship of the crown. Apply to the clerk for the hearing date. Bailiff, call the next petitioner." Arman stared at the judges in horror, but Vekus took his arm and made him walk quickly out of the courtroom. Not quickly enough – he saw the sneering audience looking down at him. Senators, senators' wives – he even recognised senior army officers. Mekus, Arman thought angrily, but Vekus was insistent on getting them out of the court room. "Two weeks!" Arman hissed at him. "And little enough time it is too," Vekus muttered. "Sei Arman, I need to look at this petition, and then discuss how best to approach it. I have another case to present here. May I call on you and your esteemed father tomorrow morning?" "Can't you speed it up, Vekus?" "Unfortunately no, Sei, and I suggest you reconcile yourself to at least a month's delay. Such matters are not completed quickly. I promise you I will study this thoroughly and examine the law before I attend you tomorrow. But I have to go, I'm sorry." He bowed and left quickly – Arman supposed his other client was waiting for him. "Pissing Mekus," Arman muttered through gritted teeth. He heard a woman's laugh and he whirled to find the wife of one of his father's former colleagues smirking at him. The gallery had emptied out into the foyer and he was now the subject of over a dozen well-bred, haughty gazes. "Was there something you wanted, madam?" he said, taking a step towards her before Urso put a hand on his arm and reminded him where he was.

"Watch how you talk to my wife, you damnable traitor," her husband snapped. The last time Arman had seen him had been the palace dinner sixteen years before at which the peace treaty had been discussed. It seemed the senator's feelings about the matter hadn't moderated at all. "You're not with your heathen savages now." His words made the smirks grow more unpleasant, and laughs were poorly hidden behind aristocratic hands. "No wonder her Serenity thinks you're unfit to have a child in charge." "She can...." But he was startled into silence as Urso grabbed his arm and spun him around. "Arman, shut up and let's get out of here. They've been set to bait you," he muttered, pushing Arman with a strength belied by his slim frame towards the door. Arman could hear the derisory comments following their footsteps. "Sorry," Arman said. He'd been away from Utuk too long. He'd forgotten what pack animals the aristocracy were, and he'd never been particularly good at dealing with the other members of his caste. It was one of the few things he'd really liked about the military, that there were so few noblemen in it, and that his interactions with them had been always defined by his rank and the demands of their particular task, rather than by gossip and politics. He'd always been content to let his father and brother deal with their peers instead. Urso didn't release his grip until they were just inside the doors. "Let me call up the calash. Do you want to go back to your father's house or the embassy first?" "Embassy. I owe it to Jena to report this in person." Though he certainly wasn't looking forward to that conversation either. "I'll come...." "No, stay here. And don't let those people provoke you. She's looking for an excuse to throw you into the cells, you know that." No need to say which 'she' he meant, and of course, Urso was quite right. Arman would have preferred to have waited outside, but there was no point in being conspicuous. The nobility in the foyer were still tittering and looking in his direction – he gave them his coolest, most quelling look and it seemed to have a slight effect, since a couple of the women and one of the senators turned away. He wondered why Mekus wasn't here lapping the whole thing up. It was unusually restrained of him. Gods. At least two more weeks here – a month or more in fact – and away from Kei. He should have been more careful about regretting not having more time with his family. The Prijian gods would hardly have him in their favour these

days, and Akan, god of mischief, would have seen his desire as a wonderful opportunity to punish him for turning his back on them. Kei said the Prijian gods were myths and things didn't work like that, and mostly Arman agreed with him. Until things like this happened – then he had to wonder. Urso really was quick, and Arman followed him down the long courthouse steps to where the calash was waiting. "There he be, that's the traitor!" Arman turned. A man with a clenched fist was walking towards them. Arman took Urso's arm. "We need to hurry," he said, his military instincts, even blunted by disuse, springing instantly into life. He knew this man wouldn't be content with merely shouting. Already the guards at the front of the courthouse were moving forward. "Hurry, get into the calash." A rock flew past his ear – there had to be more than one man, and as he turned towards the direction from which the rock had come, he saw that more people were coming from three sides of the square, shouting angrily, calling his name. They were carrying sacks and he knew what must be in them. "Hurry!" He dragged Urso down the few remaining steps and then ran for the calash. Suddenly there were people everywhere. The jesigs were rearing as the crowd noise grew – where had they all come from? – and the two soldiers who'd come with Urso struggled to keep them from bolting. "Traitor! He killed my son!" That was a woman, but there were more men, it seemed to Arman, hastily trying to assess the nature of the threat while protecting himself, not entirely successful. More rocks flew, becoming a veritable hail of missiles, and forcing them to take cover near the calash. One hit Arman on the forehead, cutting him. He tried to shelter Urso from the rain of stones, but they seemed to be coming from all directions. The jesigs were screaming in terror now, bucking in their traces, and it was impossible to mount the carriage while they were rocking it about. The courthouse guards had run down the stairs and were trying to keep the crowd back, but there were only ten of them and there seemed to be dozens of angry rock-throwers. "Urso, jump in if you can, keep your...uh...." Arman grunted and staggered as another rock hit the back of his head, dazing him, and knocking him momentarily flat on his face "Arman!" Urso yelled, as he bent over him, trying to cover him. One of the Darshianese soldiers pulled Arman up by the arm and pushed him into the bucking calash. More rocks struck, as well as rotting fruit. Above the stench of that, Arman could smell smoke. Dazed, he lifted his head – some of the men

were carrying torches. This was getting incredibly out of hand – where in hells were the Prijian soldiers? He staggered to his feet and grabbed the reins of the calash from the soldier still trying to control the animals. The vehicle shuddered as one of the jesigs dropped onto its hindquarters with a squeal, and only the combined efforts of Arman on the reins and the soldier holding the bridles stopped the other one bolting. Something struck the carriage wood, sending splinters flying. "Someone's got a pissing slingshot – get us out of here, damn it! Urso, get your arse in here!" Urso stood from his crouch on the ground, as the soldier sheltering with him leapt into the driving seat and grabbed the reins from Arman. "Urso!" Arman held out his hand. "Get in!" Another rock hit his cheek – blood was running freely down his face now and he had a painful knot on the back of his head. Urso clambered onto the steps, but fell forward suddenly. "Urso!" Arman pulled him all the way into the carriage. "Move, damn you!" he yelled at the soldier in the driving seat as his companion swung quickly up beside him. "Urso!" He knelt down – there was a depression on Urso's temple, the skin broken and starting to bleed. At least the pissing calash was moving, though the missiles continued to rain down, striking Arman's head and back as he leaned over Urso to protect him. The soldiers used their spears and the driving whip to force their way through the crowd. Arman kept down low, below the sides of the calash. The man with the slingshot was too damn deadly. Why in hells had the embassy decided to go for an open carriage today of all days? Even with the injured animal, sheer panic lent wings to the feet of the jesigs and they left the crowd behind as they raced towards the embassy. A burning torch was thrown into the carriage but the second soldier was too quick in tossing it out for it to do any damage, and then they were beyond the range of the projectiles. The rioters pursued them for a minute or two and the sounds of the curses and shouts of 'Traitor' followed them. Arman was afraid they would chase them to the embassy and blockade it, but so far, they were succeeding in escaping. But where had the soldiers been? There had been a unit stationed near the courthouse in Arman's day, and things had gone on long enough for them to arrive. If he didn't know better, he would swear that riot had been organised with official approval. And in fact, he didn't know better. Urso hadn't moved. His breathing was ragged and his colour looked wrong. Arman could do nothing for him in the swiftly moving, rocking carriage, except to support his head and protect him from further injury. Arman's heart was still pounding, his body having readied itself for a fight and got none. The blows he'd taken had not been slight and he was beginning to feel them, particularly the one

to the back of his head, but they were a background concern to his worry about Urso. He willed the jesigs to move faster and prayed the embassy healer was a good one. The soldiers driving the calash bellowed at the embassy guards to open the gate and they were whisked through it and round to the front of the building. Guards and clerks came running immediately. "Get the healer! Urso's hurt!" Arman yelled. He let the soldiers lift Urso carefully from the calash, but knocked away the hands reaching up to help him. He regretted that as soon as he tried to stand up and discovered just how dazed he was. He was helped down despite his objections. Urso was carried quickly into the embassy – Arman followed more slowly. Inside he found Yuko shouting orders for Urso to be taken to one of the rooms, and for 'Ado', who Arman presumed was the healer. Urso had already been taken away by the time Yuko caught sight of him. "Gods! Arman, what happened?" "At a guess, Mekus," he muttered, wishing he could sit, but then someone more alert than he was brought a chair and he collapsed onto it. Another someone – a healer, a medic – began to prod at the bruises and cuts on his face while Yuko loomed over him. "There was a riot when we left the courthouse. Dozens of people. Urso...someone used a slingshot. More than one, I think. They were wellprepared." Yuko hissed in a breath. "Because of you?" "Because of me, and because someone told them I would be there. Would you stop that?" he snapped as the medic poked a cut. "It needs to be bandaged, Arman, and you should probably lie down," Yuko said. "You don't look well." Arman ignored the advice. "Urso?" "The healer's with him. I need to send for his wife." Arman realised that Yuko's tight-lipped control would not last much longer. "Go to him." "Will you let Wildi check your injuries, please?" At Arman's nod, Yuko turned to the medic and ordered him to take Arman to his own office, before he swept off in the direction in which Urso had been taken.

Arman was helped to Yuko's office and made to sit while his cuts were cleaned and he was checked over. The medic thought he hadn't got a concussion, but that he would feel the head wound for a while. His shoulders and arms had sustained bruises too and one of the cuts on his face was deep enough to need a stitch. When the man was done, and Arman was left alone, he rested his head on his arms and cursed their own stupidity, but Mekus' duplicity most of all. He knew that had all been organised somehow by the slimy bastard, and he couldn't help but be surprised at how brazen Mekus had been. For all the man was in high favour now, Arman found it hard to believe he thought he could get away with such a blatant attempt at murder. He rested like that for a while, letting his head throb, hoping Urso would be all right, and wondering what the custody suit was going to mean for him. The door opened behind him, and he twisted to see Yuko come in. His face spoke of bad news. "Urso just died," he said quietly. "He never regained consciousness. His wife doesn't know yet. She's gone out with their daughter, so I've sent people looking for her." And Urso had said they were expecting another child. "Oh gods, Yuko. I'm so sorry." "I'm not sorry," Yuko said through gritted teeth. "I'm furious. Tell me exactly what happened, starting with the court case." Arman told him, and what had happened before they left the building. Yuko's expression, usually so genial, grew colder and colder. "I think," he said tightly, "I need to ask the Rulers to intervene. We will not tolerate our citizens being attacked and killed for the crime of attending judicial hearings in Prijian territory." "I can't express my regret enough, Yuko. It's all my fault." "No, it's not," Yuko snapped. "Forgive me, Arman, but this is more important than your domestic dispute, and you need feel no responsibility here." There was a knock at the door, and a young men put his head around it. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but Urso's wife is here." Yuko stood immediately. "I must see her. Would you mind staying here for a while? It's probably easiest – I can have a message sent to your father that you're safe here – and I need to discuss a few matters with you before I speak to Lord Meki."

"Of course," Arman murmured. "One thing – could you delay passing your report on to Darshek until I have a chance to speak to Kei directly? And Karik's parents? I don't want them to panic." "Yes, I understand. Nothing will happen until I come back. Davi, would you see if Arman needs anything? I'll be back at some point – I may be a while, though." "Take the time you need," Arman said, not envying him the task of telling a pregnant woman that her husband was dead from a pointless act of malice. Young Davi asked him if he would like to rest, or change his clothes. Arman grimaced, realising his shirt was liberally spattered with blood, and agreed to be taken to a guest bedroom so he could rinse it out and rest while Yuko did his sad duty. He lay on the bed with his arm over his eyes. He too had bad news to break, and wondered if it would be better to tell Jena himself, or let Kei tell her. Telling Kei about this wasn't going to be enjoyable either – all it would do would to be to convince Arman's lover that he should have come to Utuk with him, and with Arman possibly marooned for a month, Kei might just take it into his head to come down anyway. That, Arman knew, would be potentially disastrous. Gods. Poor Urso – what a terrible loss of a good man. Worth ten, even a hundred of a man like Mekus, but of course the Prij would never see it that way. Which was why their nation was beginning to shatter under the curse of an incompetent and greedy government, while Darshian had preserved civil peace for well over a hundred and fifty years. Arman had had many discussions with the Rulers over the last sixteen years about what it would mean for Darshian if Kuprij slid into anarchy, or succumbed to the ever-present threat from the war-like tribes in the southern seas. Darshian was as ready as it could be. Arman very much doubted Kuprij was. He was left for long enough that he fell asleep, but when he woke, startled by someone's presence in the room, he knew he could not have been out for more than a few minutes. It was Yuko of course. "Sorry, Arman, I know you must need to sleep off your headache, but there are things I need to do." Arman sat up and pulled the borrowed robe around him. He felt thick-headed and his head still pounded unpleasantly. "I know. How is Kerti?" "Utterly distraught, but she's resting and Ado will stay with her. She wants to take his body home – she says she doesn't want these bastards to have it. Not that I blame her," he said, passing a hand over his weary face. "But speaking of these bastards, the palace has had the nerve to send a messenger to say that you are to remain out of sight unless required at the courthouse. That means being here or

at your father's. They say if there is another disturbance, they will arrest you to preserve public order." "They what? Oh, those damn, pissing...." Arman ground his teeth. "I intend to keep a low profile, but if they arrest me on those grounds...." "Then Lord Peika and the others will just send a gunboat in and blast you out, I think. I need to report this as soon as possible, Arman. If you want to speak to Kei first, can you do so now? This needs an official response, but it's beyond my authority." "Yes, I know. Gods, what overweening pieces of urs shit. He meant me to be killed, you realise." Yuko nodded, his lips pressed tightly together in suppressed anger. "He certainly meant someone to be killed – and he succeeded. Urso deserved a better fate. He was a friend, Arman. A good friend." "He was a friend of mine too, Yuko, and I assure you, this won't be forgotten. Let me talk to Kei – where is your mind-speaker?" "Let me call her." Arman felt rather underdressed, but his shirt was still damp from where he'd scrubbed off the blood, so he left it drying near the washroom stove. While they waited for the mind-speaker, Yuko clarified the sequence of events as Arman had told them. Arman told him there was nothing to connect Mekus directly with the riot, only his gut instinct. "Which, unfortunately, is not proof in a court's eyes nor her Serenity's," he added. "This will never get to a court. But that won't stop the Rulers kicking up a stink about this." Arman laid a hand on Yuko's arm. "Is that not what Mekus wants? His son is trying to provoke another war, so I hear from my brother, to distract the population from their discontent with Kita." Yuko nodded. "Yes, we know. But at the same time, our citizens must be protected." "It's only me, Yuko. No one else is threatened."

"Yet," Yuko said grimly as a knock came on the door and a young woman came in, looking as if she had recently been crying. "Thank you, Misi. For the moment, please don't go through Jena in Ai-Albon for this." She nodded, took Arman's hand in hers and then concentrated. Only a short time later, Arman heard Kei's voice in his head. Arman? Gods, it's so good to hear from you. Same here, Kei, but I'm afraid it's not good news I'm bearing. Kei listened in silence to the sorry tale. Oh, gods. Poor Urso. Poor Kerti. Arman.... Please don't say it, Kei. I don't want you anywhere near Utuk now, it's too damn dangerous. All right, but you know damn well we never expected something like this when we discussed it. No, I know. Look, someone needs to tell Jena and Reji that there's a delay. I'd do it myself but...well, I'm afraid I might upset them just because I'm off balance. Can you? Of course. I haven't spoken to my lawyer yet so I really can't tell them how hopeful the prospect of winning this is. And the other thing is that I want someone with Lord Meki when Yuko passes on his report. Ask Lord Peika or Lady Teri to make sure he doesn't try and handle it. The Prij always get his blood boiling and we can't take that risk. I can hardly conceal this from him, Arman. Not when you're involved. Try to downplay as best you can? Arman pleaded. I can't bear the idea of him being made ill or worse because of this, and it could get very messy. He thought it was best to conceal exactly how messy it might get – there was no point in getting Kei upset over something that might not happen. Please don't provoke them, Kei said quietly. So his lover with his sharp mind had already worked out what might come. Sometimes Arman wished Kei was a stupid man – it was impossible to fool him.

I won't. There's too much at risk, not least Karik, of course, but also the safety of all our people here. I won't lie to you – it's a dangerous situation. But right now, if we're careful, we can keep it limited to Mekus and me. We didn't realise he would go so far and Urso paid the price for that. No one here will make that mistake again. I understand. Are you all right? Arman hesitated. He hadn't told Kei he'd been slightly injured and didn't plan to – it would only worry him more. I'm fine. My father and brother have been supportive. I'm glad of that. It just feels wrong not to be there. It feels wrong not to have you here. But I need you there more than ever. Gyo arrived? Yes, quite safe. Still very upset, of course, but it was right for him to come back, and now all this has happened, I'm even more glad he did. Mis took him home immediately. He'll be fine once Karik is safe home too. Yes, of course. No point in saying that event was by no means assured. Kei knew that too. If it's any consolation, you can tell Jena and Reji that I'm sure Karik is in good health. He's probably not enjoying things much, but Mekus has no reason to harm him. Not physically. Karik's strong, Kei said firmly. He won't let Mekus crush him. Privately, Arman doubted a boy of Karik's age could stand up to that evil bastard, when Mekus could even rattle Arman with all his experience and preparation. The very worst that can happen – and please don't say this to them – is that he will be stuck here for two years and then he can leave of his own volition. But I won't let it come to that, if it's humanly possible to avoid it. You'll succeed, Arman. I have faith in you. The rock-solid certainty in Kei's voice was humbling – but Arman really wasn't sure he could live up to it. I'll do my very best. Kei, Yuko needs to report to the Rulers. Yes, I know. Give me half an hour to catch Peika and Teri. Will you be at the embassy from now on?

No, I'll go back. My father would be insulted if I didn't and I can't blame him. Beside, Mekus will never dare incite a riot where my father lives. Gods, he has senators on all sides of his house, and Mekus' brother still lives in that same street. The embassy is much more vulnerable – it's best if I keep away from it as much as I can. But if you need to get me a message urgently, Yuko will pass it on. I'll keep you informed one way or another. Do what you need to do and come home. I miss you. And I you, always. I have to go, Kei. Be safe, Arman. The connection was abruptly broken, and Arman blinked. He glanced around, and found Yuko looking at him enquiringly. "He'll do what he can to buffer the news for Lord Meki. Uh – I didn't tell him I'd been injured. Please don't mention it." "No, I won't, but you better hope those cuts don't scar," Yuko said dryly. "How long before I can speak to Lord Meki?" "Half an hour, but if you could contact Lord Peika instead, it would be merciful." "Just how sick is Lord Meki?" "Very," Arman said grimly. "Enough that just my being here could kill him because he overworks himself. Kei is watching him, but we need to be careful about this if this business is not to claim another life." "Gods, we don't want that. Perhaps you'd better be in on my briefing." Arman agreed. The resultant conversation with Lord Peika and with Lady Teri joining in later, took over an hour, and Yuko still had to go back with more information. For the moment, the Rulers decided to handle things at the diplomatic level. The Prijian ambassador in Darshek would be brought in and spoken to sternly so the Rulers' displeasure could be passed back to Utuk. Yuko would visit the palace and pass on a direct message which would hint – but only hint – that stronger action could and would be taken against the Prij if any Darshianese citizen was confined without good reason. The excitable nature of Prijian city residents would not, Yuko was to make clear, be considered 'good reason'. Yuko was also going to demand an investigation into Urso's death and the riot, though none of them thought it would actually achieve anything, or root

out who had incited it. Arman was wearily aware how pointless this exercise would be, but still it had to be done. It was mid-afternoon before everything was finished. Arman had already passed on his reasons for returning to his father's house, and now he was no longer needed, he felt he should go back as soon as he could. He offered to speak to Urso's wife, but Yuko said she was simply too upset right now. He would pass the offer on, though. Arman could tell Yuko really wanted to get on with his tasks, and Arman was more a hindrance than a help to him at this point. The only question was how to get him back to the house without inviting another attack. Reluctantly, he agreed to a disguise of sorts, wearing a scarf over his distinctive hair, and a borrowed cloak over his Darshianese clothes. He rode back on a jesig, accompanied by a Darshianese soldier in plain clothes, and the journey passed without incident. As the soldier took the jesig back on a leading rein, Arman walked into the house, wondering what reception he would get. "Arman! Oh, thank the gods you're safe!" Mari cried, as he walked into the library. "But you're hurt," she said, touching the dressing on his forehead. "Nothing serious, Mari," he said, brushing her fingers away gently and looking at his father, still seated behind the desk. "I'm sorry for the worry." "Never mind that, Arman. Mari, perhaps we could have...I was going to say pijo, but I think something stronger. Some wine, or even some spirits, if we have any and if you would be so kind?" "Yes, of course. Arman, are you sure you're all right?" "I have a headache, Mari. Nothing more serious, but alcohol would be appreciated." She nodded and left them. His father waited for him to speak. "How much have you heard?" Arman said finally, fidgeting a little under his parent's stern gaze. "That there was a riot and you were slightly hurt. Then the message from the embassy saying you were all right but would be back later. Mari has been distraught." "I'm sorry. It was rather more serious than that."

He explained quickly as his father's expression grew more and more grim. "Mekus," his father said as Arman finished. "Yes, I think so. I could kill him with my bare hands, I'm so angry." "You would have to get in line, my boy. Gods, that man perverts everything a senator should be, everything loyal Prij should want in their senators. And now? You'll fight this custody suit?" "I have no choice, Father. I just don't know how it will play out." His father shook his head. "It will be unpleasant, to say the least, Arman. Such things are always filthy businesses, and the gods know you've given Mekus enough mud to fling at you." He sighed. "Now, tell me the truth. How badly are you injured? You're wincing." "Am I?" Arman rubbed the back of his head where a huge lump was forming – with distaste he noted he had dried blood in his hair too. "It's the headache, more than anything. The worst is the knock to the head. The rest are bruises and these cuts." "Hmmm. That he would dare attack my son – any of our class – in this manner. It will go down badly, Arman, even though it's you." "Don't be so sure, Father. There were plenty of our class there to see it happen and I doubt any of them would cry if I had died rather than Urso." "Be that as it may, I intend to remind people that it could be them or their children that Mekus might use such a weapon against. He's not popular, Arman. He's gone too far." "Yes, agreed. But, Father – I don't want this brought on your head, or Tijus'." "Oh give me some credit, Arman. I've been playing fools like Mekus for forty years. I can't stop everything he'll try against you. But he will cease trying to outright murder you or he will find that not even her Serenity can protect his position. I still have a little influence, you know, and our familial connection to her Serenity is by blood, not by marriage," he said with a wolfish smile. "And Tijus is popular. Ironically, it's partly because people felt sorry for him having a brother as appalling as you." It was Arman's turn to smile, the first he'd managed that day. "But now they respect him for the capable man he is. Any hint that this vendetta will turn on him, or me, and I assure you, Mekus will regret it."

"Then I'll leave it to your judgement. Oh, thank you, Mari." She'd come in and handed him a goblet full of wine spirit. He would be drunk if he consumed it all – Mari didn't drink hard liquor and had no idea of quantities – but he sipped it and was glad of the warmth it gave him. His father accepted a goblet also. Mari was holding a wine glass tightly in her hands, staring at him with worried eyes. "I'm all right, Mari. I promise." "I hope so, Arman. I couldn't bear anything to happen to you." As well, she didn't need to say. "I won't pretend I wasn't in danger, but I'm all right. It's the poor fellow who was killed who needs your sympathy. He left a young daughter and a pregnant wife. It's very sad indeed." "Oh, gods," Mari said, looking stricken at his words, but it wasn't surprising since, after all, she knew quite personally what such bereavement meant. "Is there anything we can do?" "Thank you, but no. The embassy and the Rulers will make sure she wants for nothing. But her husband should not have died. Unfortunately, there's not much we can do to catch his killers." "All this lawlessness and rioting," she said, shaking her head ruefully. "We used to have a stable society. What happened to it?" "It was never that stable, Mari – I know, I used to help police it. But the army used to have better control over things, and organised riots are new. I fear you may have to get used to them if you stay in Utuk," Arman said, looking across her at his father, who scowled. "Forgive me, Father, but it's the truth. These mobs can turn on anyone at any time – at whomever their masters direct them." "Masters? Arman, are you saying what happened today was ordered?" Because Mari was so gentle and refined, and reticent with those outside her intimate circle, Arman tended to forget she was quite as sharp as his father in her own way. "We...suspect. Someone told certain members of the aristocracy that I would be at the courthouse this morning. Someone – very likely the same someone – told the families of some of my soldiers the same thing. One would question the motive for that, don't you think?" "But that's...murderous," she whispered. "Arman.... They were trying to kill you?"

"They were certainly trying to harm me, in what way, we're not completely sure. The result is certainly that I am under effective house arrest, not that I care when it's this house," he said, forcing a smile onto his face for her sake. He could tell she was unconvinced by the levity. "This won't go unchallenged, Mari," Arman's father said firmly. "And you will come to no harm, I swear. Let's talk no more of this now, Arman, I'm sure you've had a bellyful of it. Did you eat any lunch?" Arman realised he had not, and now it had been drawn to his attention, he found he was in fact hungry. That gave Mari something else to be concerned about and she left, promising to bring him sustenance. His father glared at him as the door closed. "Do you really need to frighten her so?" "Do you want me to hide the truth, Father? Things just got a lot more dangerous for you all and I confess, I'm worried. Very worried," he said with as much conviction as he could muster. But his father dismissed his words with a wave of his hand. "Mari's safety is my concern, my boy. I've kept her safe for many years, and I would die before a hair of her head is harmed." "Yes, Father, but I don't particularly want you to have to die either. I'm sorry. It's been a trying day. I don't mean to impugn your abilities, I just.... Pissing Mekus," he cursed, his hands itching to do physical violence to his nemesis. "That about sums him up, yes. Oh, stop glowering, Arman, and drink up. If I was your age and spirits didn't make my arthritis flare, I'd join you. Did you speak to Kei?" "Yes. He wants to come down. I told him not to. I only hope he listens to me." "He's got more sense than you, of course he will." Arman grinned weakly at the praise, delivered backhandedly as always. His father's manner no longer made him angry. "Arman, there is nothing more you can do today, so let's put this aside. It's upsetting Mari and doing you no good. Tomorrow, we'll find out what Vekus says, and then determine the path to follow." It had been many years since Arman had had the luxury of being able to let his father take responsibility over his life, and even though it was merely an illusion that he was doing so now, it still gave him a strange sense of comfort. "Yes. Thank you, Father." He rubbed his forehead tiredly and winced as his fingers hit the bandages. "I must look a mess."

"Not exactly up to your usual standards, no. You weren't expecting any of this, were you? And yet once you would have." "Sixteen years living in a peaceful, ordered society will do that to you," Arman said, sighing. He set the goblet down. Already he was feeling the effects of the alcohol – he hadn't consumed spirits since he'd left Utuk and he was no longer used to them. He was getting tipsy in front of his father and looking to him for moral support at the same time. He really was in trouble.

When he took his place for dinner that evening, Karik immediately knew something had changed. Mekus, usually so sour and displeased looking, had a smirk on his face, and the expression on his mother's face could only be described as satisfied. Karik sat in silence as usual while the over-rich food was served, and wondered when the interrogation would commence. But nothing was said, somewhat to his surprise, although Mekus and Karik's mother carried out a laughing conversation which, Karik thought, verged on the rude. He was obviously unable to follow it, yet was equally obviously the subject of their discussion. He concentrated on cutting the meat while wishing they would serve smaller portions and not smother all their food in highly flavoured sauces so that he didn't leave the table each night feeling vaguely ill. At least no one expected him to finish everything, which was his instinct, but simply beyond his stomach's ability to cope. "We have good news for you, Retis." Karik looked up, hope sparking suddenly into life. "I c-can go home?" As soon as the words left his lips, he knew he'd made a mistake. Mekus' eyes narrowed. "This is your home, boy. Here, with your real mother. And in a very short time, it will be established beyond all legal doubt that you belong here in Utuk with her." Karik's hand clenched around his fork. He didn't have a reply to this which would not invite a verbal – or even physical – attack. But Mekus wasn't content with his silence. "Well, boy, aren't you pleased? You surely have nothing to complain of in your treatment in this house. I've been more than generous, considering who your father is and what he's done to your mother and to our nation. Although, after today, I fancy he might be less ready to force his odious presence on our islands."

"Wuh-what happened?" Something about Mekus' unpleasant smile made his stomach knot up. "Is he hu-hurt?" "Let's just say that he's been forcibly reminded that he's not welcome in Kuprij. Do not speak of him, Retis. I asked you if you were happy here." Karik stared at his plate. What should he say? To lie would be to betray his parents...but they had told him specifically to lie, had they not? Do whatever it takes, they said. "Y...." He had to force the word out and it wasn't just his stutter that was stopping it. "Yes." He hated himself for the lie, whatever his parents had said. Mekus passed his answer to his mother immediately, and she smiled at him approvingly. "There, you see? You are wanted here, and valued. Take care you remember that. Now, tomorrow, a court official is going to come and talk to you. You will cooperate and answer his questions truthfully." "Y-yes, Senator." He lowered his gaze to the table. His appetite, what little there had been, was entirely gone. What had happened to Arman? And was Mekus telling the truth, that he was going to be trapped here? "P-Please, wuh-will I be able to c-contact my... J-Jena?" "Who?" "My...fuh-foster mother." "Don't be stupid, boy. What does a Prijian nobleman want with savages?" Karik glared angrily but remembered his situation, managing to bite back the comment he was going to make. His mother asked her husband something and he spoke to her. "Your mother doesn't understand why you would want to cling to your false parent when your real mother is here with welcoming arms. Well? Answer her, boy!" "I.... I m-miss.... I l-love...." "Are you placing the claim of those heathens above those of your natural mother, Retis?" Karik looked up and realised how much danger he was in. Mekus' hand was clutching a knife in a threatening manner. Karik had never seen him strike anyone, but he believed him quite capable of it. "N-no, Senator," he lied.

"You had better not, Retis. Your position here is extremely privileged. Once this sorry mess is over, I will have you presented to her Serenity herself, an honour not granted to everyone, I assure you, and certainly not to any of those brownskinned creatures. What do you say to that, hmmm?" "Th-thank you," he muttered, as he gulped down his sorrow and despair. Would they really keep him from contacting his mo...Jena for two years? Looking at Mekus, Karik was very afraid they would. He was even more afraid he would lose his soul if he had to remain with these people for that long, blood relatives or not, but he was in a position of weakness. If Arman had failed, that was his last hope gone. Now he was truly alone.

Chapter 13 Arman woke with a headache, a slight hangover and a profound sense of depression. He wished Kei was there to help with all three, because he missed him so very much. But wishing for things he could not have would not help him. He summoned water for the bath he'd been too tired and fed up with life to take the night before and then sorted through his closet for clean clothes. If he was going to be here for another two weeks, and confined to the house, there was no reason not to plunder his old wardrobe. The bath eased a few of his aches. Bruises were beginning to show against his pale skin, and he hoped they would be gone completely before he saw Kei again. His lover would not be pleased to have the matter concealed from him, but at least Kei would not have the worry of it. Besides, old instincts died hard and winning a battle was all about concealing weaknesses, exploiting one's strengths and hoping the enemy would fail at a crucial point. So far the enemy had the upper hand, but that wasn't necessarily a permanent situation. He wondered how Karik was dealing with it all, and if he had any idea what was going on. Arman felt the same flush of anger he'd experienced the day before, knowing this entire situation and Urso's death was ultimately attributable to Karik's loose tongue. But that wasn't really fair, he told himself sternly. It was Arman who had awoken the curiosity in the boy and failed to satisfy it. They both bore a responsibility for Urso's death. Since Karik was a child, it wasn't really possible to lay it at his door. But then his mind made the connection with another sixteen year old who had caused another death, a death which had brought Arman a great and enduring pain, and his dark mood turned even more melancholy. He needed to find some company or he would work himself into a funk. He dried himself and plaited his wet hair into order, a task that only served to lower his mood further since it was usually something Kei insisted on doing for him. The bandages on his forehead had got wet so he took them off, something he regretted not long afterwards as he came into the dining room for breakfast. "Blessed gods, Arman," Mari said, her hand over her heart. "Your face." "Oh – sorry, does it look bad?" His father, already eating his usual frugal breakfast, snorted. "You look like a prize fighter who's lost a hard match. You've succumbed to the local fashion again, I see."

"I don't have any other clothes clean. Father, I'm not in the mood for your jousting." His father looked at him, then nodded. Once, such a remark would have led to an argument. Arman was so very grateful their relationship had repaired itself to the point where it did not. "Sit down and eat, Arman. You may as well accept you're in this for the duration. We'll try and make the imprisonment not too unpleasant." Arman grimaced at the joke, although he appreciated the attempt to leaven an unpalatable situation. It wasn't his father's fault that this was all going to take longer than he wanted. As he ate, his father asked him what he thought of a proposed extension he was planning to the Garok vineyard, and since Lord Meki's son had recently done something similar, Arman was really interested in the project. When Mari slipped out of the room, he barely noticed her leaving, and he was shocked when she returned some time later to say Vekus was here. Arman hadn't realised how swiftly the time had passed. His father had managed to thoroughly distract him – and Arman knew his father well enough to know it had not been by accident. "Use the library. Or the garden, as you prefer," his father said as he stood. "I've work to do in my office. You can look for me there when you're done." "Wait – don't you wish to attend this?" His father grunted. "And you a military man, Arman. Keep your superior weaponry for the hardest part of the battle. I'll see you later." Arman's lips twitched in an almost-smile at his father's self-assurance. He didn't know if his father would be much assistance in the fine details of the custody dispute, but there was something to be said for having such a respectable parent at one's back if one's character was to be disputed. As indeed, it certainly was. Vekus was in a gloomy mood – he'd heard some details of what had happened to Urso, but had come out of the courthouse too late to see the rioting. He'd had reports, and wasn't surprised at the restriction imposed on Arman. "I'm sorry to say that it is likely to make little difference to the success or failure of our defence to this suit," he said, laying the documents down for Arman to read. "As you know, the presumption under our law is that the father's claim to a child, particularly a son, is paramount. Denying that claim rests not only on past unfitness, but a continuing inability to raise a child in the correct manner and that there is a better alternative. Such cases rarely succeed, but if any could do so, this could. It's a most comprehensive complaint about you and your behaviour."

Arman picked up the documents and began to read. The further he got into it, the more coldly angry he became, until he slammed the papers back onto the desk. "What scurrilous nonsense! I was never sleeping with Loke! Or with Kei while he was a prisoner, or while I was!" Vekus shrugged. "They say they have witnesses who will testify to improper behaviour. I will need to read their affidavits. This is just a list of their objections to you having the boy, but it isn't enough to accuse you of such indiscretions because removal of custody may not be treated as a punishment for past crimes. That precedent is well-established. However unwholesome, the more damaging charge is of abandonment. Handing your son over to others to raise is highly unusual unless, as you know perfectly well, both parents are dead. So, Sei, I need to know your reasons." Arman's jaw tightened as he remembered the time when he made that decision. "I wasn't in a position to raise a child on my own. Jena offered to raise him, and she made a far more suitable parent than I would have done." "I see. Forgive me, Sei Arman, but that would seem to only strengthen their argument against you. Could you not have hired a servant to raise the boy in your own home? Or left him with Senator Armis? They will ask both these things. One would think you disliked the child for his own sake." "I disliked – still dislike – his real father," he said through clenched teeth, "but I can hardly admit that, can I?" Vekus laid his pen down. "I beg your pardon – did you say real father? Sei, you swore an affidavit just three days ago that you honestly believed that you were the boy's father. Are you telling me you perjured yourself?" Arman nodded, ashamed to have to admit it. "And you're telling me you made me a party to your perjury? Do you have any idea what would happen to us if this became known?" The lawyer's words ended in an anguished squeak. "Don't be ridiculous – do you think Senator Mekus is going to spread it about that he was fucking his present wife while she was still married to me?" Vekus swallowed. "Sen.... Forgive me, but.... Sei Arman, you have been very dishonest with me. You place me in an untenable position. I should not continue to act for you, but if I stop...good gods, man!" he burst out, "you could get us both hung!" "Well, if they didn't hang me as a traitor before, they won't hang me for being a cuckold now," Arman said coldly. "Will you please control yourself and your

voice? Yes, I perjured myself – it was the only way to get Karik out of Mekus' clutches. Mekus won't expose me because it gives the bastard the perfect defence against any counterclaim I would make of his own moral unfitness. Not that I can prove anything now – his damn daughter is dead and she was the only one I would have been able to get to testify about the affair." Vekus was still looking rather pale. "If it comes out – Sei, this simply cannot be brought up." "Yes, I'm aware of that," Arman snapped. "But it explains why I handed the child over. Is there anything we can do about that at this point?" "Not a thing. However, it would be entirely irrelevant if you were to take Karik back into your custody now...." "Then I'll say I'll do that. That's simple." Vekus shot him a glance. "And perjure yourself once more, Sei? You interrupted me. It would be irrelevant, except for the additional matter that Karik has been raised without any cultural or religious education. Can he speak Prijian?" "No," Arman said, his heart sinking. "And before you ask, no, he knows nothing of the gods, or our history. He barely know what the sovereign is." He knew this was bad. Raising a child as a heretic was a far more serious matter than being accused of sleeping with one's servants. "Is it too late to remedy that?" "Again, if you were to take him back into your care and raise him correctly, that would probably be sufficient answer. But you cannot simply claim you will do that, Sei. You would have to raise him here in Utuk and Senator Mekus would be within his rights to have the boy examined every few months to see you were carrying out your responsibilities." "Here? In Utuk? I can't! What about my father," he asked in desperation. "Can he not take the boy into his charge?" Vekus shook his head. "No, I'm afraid not. When the father is insufficient, the paternal grandparents' claim is inferior to that of a competent mother, especially when supported by a sufficient husband or parent – she has both. The only way around that would be if you can prove she is unfit – and it would appear that you have ruled out that possibility by your claiming of the boy as your true son. Even if she didn't want to raise the boy herself, her father and husband have a superior claim to Senator Armis, because your failure taints the rest of your line."

Arman groaned quietly. It would mean two years in Kuprij, away from Kei – away from his life, and among people who hated him. "You forget that I was told to leave this island by her Serenity herself. I'm not sure I would be allowed to remain even if that were an option." "I haven't forgotten, Sei. That was to be my very next point. If you were actually required to live in exile, we would have an easier task as you would have the perfect answer to the charge of raising Karik away from Kuprij, but in point of law, you are living in Darshek purely voluntarily. As you were never officially banished, it is the personal hostility of her Serenity which is the sticking point. I believe it might be possible to ask for her forgiveness, however." "Never!" Arman said, slapping the table. "I'd swallow molten metal before I grovelled to that bitch." The lawyer waved his hands frantically at him. "Sei Arman! Lower your voice, I beg you!" Arman subsided – he was putting the household at risk by his anger, which was unforgivable. "Apologies. However, I doubt Mekus would let his daughter-inlaw grant that forgiveness but after all this time, I also doubt any move will be made to officially exile me – especially not if it strengthens my hand in this." Vekus closed his file. "Then it would appear Karik will be spending at least the next two years as a citizen of Kuprij." "Is there nothing we can do?" Vekus sighed. "We can try and assemble some character witnesses, and argue your right to allow carefully chosen people to raise the boy on your behalf. But with a hostile court, Mekus' position, your own state of disfavour...I have to warn you, the matter does not look hopeful." "Do your best, Vekus. What do you need from me?" Vekus opened his file again. "For now, the names of anyone who might be able to support your character credentials. They need to be Prijian, of course," he added dryly. "Would the support of the Darshek Rulers help at all?" "Not in the least. In fact, it will only make it worse, Sei, I'm sorry."

It was a depressingly short conversation. Arman racked his brains but couldn't come up with more than a handful of names, and most of those, he was sure, would hesitate before putting themselves under scrutiny for his sake. He dared not ask any of his former army colleagues. Everyone else who mattered to him and who knew him well was Darshianese. Vekus bowed. "I'll set things in motion. I will also see what other challenge we can make to this claim. I have a colleague with a little more experience in these matters and though he will not act for you, he will advise if I ask it. For now, good day, Sei." Arman let him out, then went back to the desk to look over the copies of the documents that Vekus had left him. Mekus and his squalid spies had left nothing out and invented what they could not discover. The thing that angered him the most were the accusations about Loke, and about Kei as a hostage and then as a healer while Arman had still been injured – he knew he would have to do what he could to prevent these stories being aired in a public court. It would hurt Mari and he would not allow that. He would endure any hardship to spare her that pain. Unfortunately, it wasn't just his own endurance that he had to consider. He put his head in his hands. He never expected things to come to this, not sixteen years ago, not two weeks ago when he had set off from Darshek. Just when he thought he had plumbed the depths of Mekus' lack of moral scruples, the man sank a little lower. It was amazing, really. He sighed and stood. Now he needed his superior weaponry. His father was looking over the plans for the estate which would be Tijus' when his father died, and where Tijus had lived for much of his married life. "You look disheartened." "I feel it," Arman said, sinking heavily onto a chair. "Tell me, how would you feel if I moved back to Utuk for two years until Karik became a legal adult?" His father sat back and considered the question. "I would say that you had forsaken your heart and your duties, and while you would might do one, you would not do both. I take it you are at least half-serious." "It would seem there is nothing else that might succeed." Arman explained as succinctly as he could, while his father listened carefully. "So unless Karik has suddenly acquired the ability to speak perfect Prijian, and can reel off all the gods and their place in our history, and unless Jena suddenly becomes blonde and blue-eyed, they will never let me take him back to Darshek."

"If I weren't involved in the case, I would have to admit they would be right to do so. The boy has a right to his heritage, Arman." "He has a right to be raised with love and consideration first, and that's what he's had for sixteen years," he replied with rather more acerbity than he meant to. "Better a happy savage than a miserable nobleman, don't you think?" "It's possible to be both noble and happy, Arman, though I know you won't believe it. But let's not rake over all wounds. There is the small matter of Kita banishing you." "It was never a formal edict of exile, nor was I ever actually proclaimed a traitor." His father shook his head. "You're not seriously contemplating this, are you? What about Kei? What about the fact you are to be made a Ruler?" "I thought you would say my primary responsibility is to retrieve an error I made before I gained all those things. I owe Jena and Reji a good deal. I can't just let their son be left in Mekus' hands – I can't let any child be left thus. Kei would feel exactly the same, I know that." "The boy can endure for two years, surely. Did Vekus say his paternal family would have any rights to visit or supervise in that situation?" "I honestly didn't ask. All I know is that you wouldn't have a superior claim to Mayl's father, who's as bad as Mekus if you ask me." "He certainly used to be. Arman, if you are really contemplating this, you need to discuss it with your people in Darshek. For my own sake I would not object to your presence here, but I would object anyway because this is not the place for you any more. Your home is north, your heart is north." Which was nothing less than the bare truth, of course. "My duty lies in the south, it seems." "That didn't stop you before." Arman glared at his father, looking for any sign that he was poking at him for running off to Darshek all those years ago, but there was nothing other than calm enquiry in his blue eyes. "The circumstances were quite different then, and you know it. I need to go to the embassy – I want to talk to Kei, and to enquire about Urso's wife. May I borrow a jesig?"

"Of course. Take Malos with you, and be discreet for the gods' sake, Arman – if any of Mekus' people see you, there will be trouble, you know that. I'll send a note around to Tijus – I think it might be best if he came here rather than the opposite, at least for the next few days." "Certainly." Arman didn't want to put Temir or the children at the least risk, and he didn't trust Mekus not to try something, senatorial residence or not. He thought regretfully that he would probably not now be able to visit Mari's little school for the same reason. "Don't look so downcast, Arman. You've barely begun this battle." "Yes, Father, but I pride myself on judging which I can and cannot win, and this does not smell of success." "Perhaps your senses are blunted after all this time. Who did you suggest as character witnesses?" Arman listed the few he had come up with. "Hmmm, I think I shall pay some calls over the next couple of days." "Father, don't put yourself in danger for me – you have to live here, I don't." "I think you forget, General, that you're in my battlefield now. Get on with your tasks and leave your doddering fool of a parent to deal with his own affairs, will you?" "I meant no offence," he said stiffly as he stood to go. "Don't be so damn sensitive, Arman. If you can't handle me, how do you propose to deal with a court grilling? Now, go on." Arman bowed. His father was right – if he couldn't handle a little sarcasm, then Mekus would eat him for breakfast. The embassy was closed to all but essential business for the day as a mark of respect. Nonetheless, there was no objection to Arman entering, and when he was admitted to Yuko's office, the ambassador looked wearily glad to see him. "Ah, you decided to risk coming over. I hope you are feeling better." Arman made an equivocating motion with his hand to indicate that he was, somewhat. "Good. Is there something we can help you with?" "Yes, and I also wanted to know if I could assist you or Kerti. I've got two weeks at least of enforced inactivity and I confess, it goes against the grain."

"I can imagine. She might welcome assistance in getting her affairs in order but really, she just wants to go back to Darshek as soon as she can. The sad thing is that Urso was due to return in two months – before she became too pregnant to travel." It was these little ironies which always made the grief harder to bear, he knew. "Does she blame me for what happened? She ought to." "Not at all, and nor should she." He rubbed his eyes. "I have to call on that odious woman later this morning." He looked up. "You said you needed something yourself?" "Ah, I need to talk to Kei, but if it's inconvenient today, it can wait until tomorrow." "No, it should be fine. Misi's very upset but so is everyone. We've never had anything like this happen to us before though it's always been theoretically possible. It feels a little like we're back in the war." Arman felt a familiar, useless twinge of guilt. For him, the war had never really ended. Every day, he was conscious he was trying to make up for his crimes, although he believed he would never succeed in doing so fully. "I think the time has come to increase your security, certainly. I can advise on that, if you like. I'm sure the Rulers would have no objection to my helping you." "No, but her Serenity might. Still, what she doesn't know, won't choke her." He grimaced again. "I really don't want to meet her this morning. I always come back with a headache, and if Mekus is there, I fear I will be stirred to protest less than diplomatically." "I wish I could help there, but I think my presence would make things worse." "Oh, you think so?" Yuko said with a trace of humour. "Ask the clerk outside about Misi and let her know what arrangements you need. I'd go with you, but I've got so much to do here." Arman raised his hand. "I'll manage. I'd also like you to make a formal request for me to see Karik. I can't see any legal reason that I should be kept from doing so, since I'm now acknowledged to be his father. "I'll do that, certainly, but I'm sure they'll have some reason to deny the request. Mekus does pretty much what he wants, it seems. Was that everything?"

"Yes, that's all. But tell me this – hypothetically, if I were in Utuk for the next two years, would I be of any possible use to you?" Yuko blinked, laid his pen down, then stared at Arman. "Hypothetically? I can think of several things that your skills would be invaluable for. But one, Lord Meki can't spare you, and two, Kei would kill you – or me. Or both of us. Is that what you're considering? For the boy?" "Considering as a last resort, and yes. It seems the only hope I have of getting him away from Mekus' clutches is to return to Kuprij and take personal custody of him. It is not," he added dryly, "my preferred option." "I imagine not," Yuko murmured. "Gods, Arman. Could you bear it?" "Once...I would have said not. But things have changed since I was last here. It's a possibility, though I really don't want to do it." Yuko sat back. "Well. I wasn't expecting this at all. You know Lord Peika was very keen for you to help set up and run the embassy in the beginning. If you hadn't been so determined to settle in Ai-Albon, and if her Serenity hadn't wanted your head on a pike, I think he'd have pushed much harder. But two years...until Karik turns eighteen?" "Exactly. My father...is elderly. It would benefit him as well, I think." His father would not care for that presentation of himself, Arman knew. "We have other options, but none look promising. I just thought I would ask. Your answer is at least unequivocal." "Please don't tell Kei I talked you into staying. Annoying a healer can lead to a short and unpleasant life." "So he tells me. He almost never carries out his threats, you know," Arman added with a slight fond smile as he thought of his lover, his heart already heavy at the idea of not seeing him for such a long time. Two years – surely it was endurable. Wasn't it? "It's the 'almost' that bothers me." Yuko rubbed his eyes again, and it was clear that a combination of perhaps too little sleep and grief for his friend was wearing on him. Arman stood. "I'll come back later."

"Have lunch with me here after I get back from the palace. I'm sorry, there's just so much I need to do about Urso, and the Rulers' instructions...." "I understand." Arman left quickly to prevent wasting any more of Yuko's time. With directions from the clerk, he found Misi, looking solemn and rather red-eyed once more. Arman regretted making her work on this when it was clear when she, like the rest of the staff, had their thoughts elsewhere. "Kei said he would be free in a hour after I contacted him. Which is now, if you are free." "Is there somewhere we can go?" She nodded and led him to a small office. They took a seat and then she placed her hand on his wrist. After only a minute or two, Kei's voice was once more in his mind. Arman, I'm surprised to hear from you so soon – has something else happened? In a way. But tell me first of Lord Meki – how did he take the news? Hard, of course. It's hit everyone hard. But he's all right. Lord Peika took charge pretty well. He's damn furious though. They all are. So am I. What a pointless, stupid thing to do. You expected something different from Mekus? Kei wanted to know about Kerti and what was to happen to Urso's body, and since Kei could inform a good many people, Arman was happy to take the time to tell him in some detail. But then Kei realised that Arman would hardly have contacted him just for that. You've spoken to the lawyer? What did he say? Ah. Well, it looks bad, Kei. They've got me pretty conclusively damned on the character front, and because I 'abandoned' my 'heir', the only way of recovering the situation is to take Karik into my charge again. But there's a problem with that. Kei was silent. Arman wondered if he had guessed, but he said it anyway. Kei, I would have to stay in Utuk. More silence. Arman looked at Misi but she gave no indication the connection was broken. Then, finally – Arman, what would I do there while you waited for him to become adult? And this was what he'd been dreading to tell him. You wouldn't. Kei, if you came down here, it would most likely negate most of what I would achieve by

remaining. Our relationship is one of the things the court and society frowns on the most, and Mekus would keep trying to use it to undermine my right to have Karik. You would have to stay in Darshek. Kei was a talkative man, and usually open with his emotions and reactions. When he said nothing, that was when Arman knew he was deeply upset. Kei, I haven't made a final decision. I only heard about this, this morning. But I wanted to warn you, and discuss it with you. What alternative is there? Kei sounding so dead and blank was nearly as disturbing as when he said nothing. There's a chance the judges will dismiss the petition, but frankly, it's so slight as to be nonexistent. We're trying to get some character witnesses to support my claim, but the problem is that Karik has not been raised as a Prijian, and that goes fundamentally against the principles of the society. Apparently my father has a lesser claim than Mayl in these circumstances. The only other option is to leave Karik with Mekus for two years and hope he survives the experience. But not only do I not wish that for him, you know what it will do to Reji and Jena. It will break their hearts. They're already in a terrible state. Yes, I can imagine. So...it's a question of the least suffering for the fewest people. You mean, you and me against the three of them? But what of Lord Meki, Arman? What will he do without you to take over from him? You speak as if you have no importance to anyone but me. Kei, don't you see? I have a duty to the boy and to his parents, and it's one that has to take priority over my personal feelings. However much you will miss me, you know you can handle this. However much they love Karik, I love you as much, you bastard. Do you think I don't know that? Gods, Kei, you sound as if I want to do this. You've been quick enough to put the wheels in motion, his lover snapped. And what in hells would you do with yourself down there? They hate your guts. Well, I spoke to Yuko about maybe working with the embassy.

I see. So it's not a discussion, it's a presentation of a decision. Thanks for letting me know, Arman. Don't be an arse, Kei. I thought you wanted me to help Karik and his parents. If you think it's acceptable for Karik to remain with Mekus, for the gods' sake, just tell me! More silence. This was going about as badly as it could do, and he felt a little resentful that Kei seemed to think this was something he'd orchestrated. Did the man imagine that he wanted to be away from him, when Arman's dreams were filled with thoughts of him and his body longed to feel Kei's against him? At the same time, Kei's acceptance and advice was paramount, and if his lover objected strongly, Arman would not go against it. Kei deserved his undivided loyalty. But Kei had ties that Arman did not, and only he could judge whether they had a higher claim. How can we keep Lord Meki from working himself from death? With that quiet question, Arman realised Kei had accepted that his staying behind was inevitable, and the slide of regret in his chest made him aware that he'd been hoping Kei would take the choice from him and insist he returned home. Which was damn cowardly of him, really. Find someone to replace him who he trusts. Ask the other Rulers to take more on. I don't have all the answers – I'd thought accepting his request for me to be nominated was the end of the problem. I wasn't expecting this, you must know that. I know... just give me some time to stop being angry at everyone. Karik will still hate being kept from Jena and Reji. Then he should have kept his mouth shut. People have to pay for their mistakes, I'm just trying to make sure he's not actively harmed. I probably can't make him happy, but I can keep him safe and make sure his mind isn't too polluted. You never know, the experience might be the making of him. So long as he doesn't trail back to the village with a Prijian general in tow, I think it won't necessarily be all bad. The joke was strained, but at least it showed Kei's courage, on which they would both have to depend if they were to get through this. Arman... I don't want to be weak but.... damn it, I miss you so much already. I'll be a wreck after two years.

That blunt statement nearly undid him completely. Then we'll be two wrecks together, because I can't imagine it being anything but a hell for me. But you're strong, Kei, and lived through so much worse. You and I...can endure. You know we can. But you know what it must be like for the boy, and for Reji and Jena knowing that. I know. It's the only reason I can even think about letting this happen. Would you live with your father? Most likely. At least I know he and Mari can provide a decent household and now Karik is nearly an adult, he won't strain my father's patience the way a baby would have done. At least I won't have to worry the boy has his father's morals. No, you don't. Is it decided then? Shall I tell them? It's bad news, even if it could be worse. Wait a little, Kei. Vekus is still making enquiries though it looks pretty hopeless. I don't want to press Yuko but it would be well to have some plan for me laid out. Uh...you could tell Lord Peika, but not Meki. Not yet. Gods, Arman, you have so many things you are doing up here. How can you let them all just drop? Because I made a hash of my marriage and I can't let a child pay the price for that. I can and will still serve our country, it will just have to be in a different way, that's all. You and I will have to communicate this way, but I know my love won't die because of it, nor yours. I have faith in your love for me, Kei. I believe in it. Then you have more sense than I thought you had, Kei joked. Will you think badly of me if I go and kick a wall now? Kick the building down for all I care. I know how you feel, trust me. I'm sorry, Kei. If you were here, you would know that's an inadequate way of putting it. If I were there, then we wouldn't be having this conversation. Ethics or no ethics, if I ever meet Mekus again, I'll pull his brain out of his arse with a hook. Arman had to grin at the image. Considering how small that organ is, you'd need tweezers to find it. Kei, I'll be dropping down to the embassy every couple of days. I'll try to speak to you if Misi isn't busy, but you can leave a message if you need to speak to me sooner. I'm trying to get permission to see Karik. I'll let you know if it happens, but it's not hopeful.

My blood runs cold every time I think of him in Mekus' hands. It will be infinitely preferable to have him in yours, even if it's in Utuk. You're right about that. I wish you damn well weren't, but you are. Kei sighed. You'll have to make it up to me when you get back. It'll take you a lifetime, you realise. Then a lifetime is what you shall have. We'll talk soon, Kei. I love you, never forget it. I never can. Goodbye. Misi lifted her hand from Arman's wrist, and then looked at him. "Forgive me, Arman, but I have to say this – I don't like keeping these things from Jena in this manner." "Nor I, Misi. But there's no point in adding to their pain before we know exactly what's happening, and Reji is...a little volatile when it comes to his son. I don't want him charging down here and getting hurt. One death is one death too many." "Yes," she said, her eyes downcast. "I can't believe Urso's dead. I mean...he was always smiling, always so nice to everyone, and so kind. Why is he dead so soon after you arrived?" She looked at him then with clear accusation. "Because I'm hated by my former comrades and because a powerful, evil man has a powerful, evil grudge against me. Urso had the misfortune to be caught up in it, and few regret that more than me." "The Prij hurt us at every turn. We should not be on this island," she said with a harshness that belied her demure manner. "Better that we never had any contact with them at all than to expose ourselves to this." But then she flushed. "I'm sorry, I'm being rude. I just...it's Urso." "It doesn't matter who it is, the death would still be a great crime. But I disagree with you that we should have no contact with them. Or perhaps you consider me one of them still?" She looked up with a guilty start, and flushed again. "Well, that's not surprising," he said, suppressing a sigh. "The Prij are slowly learning better habits from their neighbours. Unfortunately, the ruling class is conservative and some, none too bright with it. The lower orders lead an uncertain existence and that makes them cling to what certainties they have. However, if change comes, it will only come if there are forces pushing it along. Darshian is one of those forces."

"We've paid too high a price for that, and I don't care what happens to this nation." "Then what are you doing here, lass?" "My father works here, and I came down with him three years ago. I hate being here. Every second is torture." "Go home, Misi. The embassy doesn't need someone working here against their will, and in truth, you will do more harm than good with that attitude. I'll put a word in for you if you'd like." She looked briefly hopeful but then shook her head. "I can't leave my parents." "Then learn to endure, and try to understand, is my only advice." He stood. "Thank you for your help," he said formally, and left the office, feeling depressed once more. It seemed that he faced resistance from both sides if he stayed down here, and he was going to hurt someone whatever he did. The pity was that it wasn't going to be just him in either case.

Chapter 14 The two weeks crawled by, and Arman was ready to go mad with boredom and worry. Four days before the second hearing, Vekus came to the house for another meeting. The news was mixed, but overall, not good. Astonishingly, between Arman's father and his own suggestions, they had come up with five people of good standing who were not cowed by the prospect of being attacked at the courthouse (or who hated Mekus enough to brave it) and who would be prepared to state that Arman had been of good character while they'd known him. This, in addition to the fact that once Vekus had received copies of the witness statements supporting the allegations against Arman, he was confident they could be struck out as hearsay, or motivated by venality or on other grounds, meant that on the character question, they had a hope of defeating the other side. However, as Vekus had already explained, the real problem was Karik's upbringing and Arman's absence from Kuprij. A court clerk had examined Karik and reported him as deplorably deficient in his native tongue, and lamentably lacking in any knowledge of Prijian culture. When asked about the gods, he had not been able to even guess at their nature or names, which, the clerk said, had shocked all who heard the conversation. It was the only report of Karik they'd had. Arman's request to visit was turned down on public order grounds, and any further visits would have to wait until the custody issue was settled. No one from the embassy was allowed to visit in his place, because Kita and Mekus were still pretending it was a wholly Prijian issue and therefore the Darshianese had no right to make such a request. Still, the clerk had reported the boy to be in good health and fair spirits, which was slightly reassuring. "So, what you are saying is that my remaining truly is our only option?" Arman asked. Vekus hesitated and shuffled his papers nervously. "Ah, there is one other, but I hesitate to mention it because you have told me your financial situation is so poor." "Well, tell me, Vekus." "My colleague tells me that, ah, in certain circumstances, it is possible for the defendant to purchase the right to custody – in effect, paying compensation to those with the higher claim to the boy, for giving up rights to him. It is more usually done when the maternal line wants to keep control over a child when there is a divorce, but the precedent applies in this case too."

"I take it that such compensation is not going to be small." "No, Sei, I regret not. For a child of the senatorial class, related to such esteemed men of rank, the minimum they could demand would be equivalent to approximately a quarter of your father's wealth. A third would not be considered unreasonable and, considering the circumstances and the strength of the claim, probably what they would ask, at the very least." Arman's heart sank. "I have nothing. I don't even really own even the clothes on my back and I have no income at all." "Perhaps the Rulers in Darshek would assist? The parents have no money, I gather." "They have no money and no need of it. As for the Rulers.... The society does not hold vast sums of wealth for such things, and it would be wrong to spend it on a single child when so many others could benefit. I won't even ask them," he said firmly. "As you wish, Sei. I have made discreet enquiries and as you surmised, it will mostly like be possible for you to remain in Utuk without official opposition. Whether there is any unofficial opposition is not for me to say." "Can Mekus and the rest object to my having Karik even if I agree to stay?" "Yes, they can and most certainly will. However the character witnesses and your undertakings, not to mention your father's position, will make it hard for them to succeed. We can only try." Arman dismissed him then, knowing the time had come for him to announce formally that he was going to remain in Utuk, to let Karik's parents know and to break the news to Lord Meki. His father received his announcement without surprise but with no great pleasure. "If you prefer, I could stay with Tijus," Arman said, seeing his father's severe expression. "If you feel it would impose on you too much here." "Don't be ridiculous, Arman. Having you here is of no consequence and you tell me the boy is well-mannered. It's just watching you dismantle your life for that Mekus that angers me." "Not dismantle, Father – merely delay. I can achieve things here, and if I can be of service to you, then that's something I could be proud of."

His father frowned then and dismissed him without ceremony. Arman found it odd that his father seemed to mind this even more than he did. The conversation with Lord Meki was never going to be easy and Arman found himself speaking with a very angry Ruler – less, to Arman's surprise, on his own behalf than on Kei's.Damn you, Arman, how can you do this to Kei? No wonder he's been so morose this last week. Don't you realise how lucky you are to have him? Yes, I am. Meki, the boy is precious to him and to his dearest friends. Do you think it's right to abandon him? Kei says Karik is capable of making an enormous contribution to Darshian if he gets the right training. Then he will get it when he comes back, Arman. Do you believe he's being physically harmed? Not yet, but it's more the effect on his mind and his spirit. He has a gentle soul and is not experienced. Mekus could twist him and break him very effectively. He's Mekus' son, how do you know he won't end up twisted anyway? Damn it, Arman, we've lost one good man already because of this nonsense. Don't expect me to let you go without a fight. This isn't easy for me either, you know. Do you really expect me to walk away from this? I am responsible at least in part for this situation, and no one else can help the boy. Are you so ready to toss him to the fates because of his Prijian blood? Because if that's your attitude, then I wonder you can stomach me at all. Silence. Misi looked at him with alarm, and Arman wondered if she'd ever heard anyone talking to a Ruler in this way before. Finally – Forgive me, Arman. I was being selfish. Your Prijian blood or his doesn't even come into it for me, and I regret I gave you any cause to think it. It's just...Kei is already taking this hard, and after what happened with Urso...I fear for your safety. What makes you think Mekus won't continue to attack you? What, in fact, makes you think they will even let you return? The answer is the same in both cases – my father. Since I have already returned, they can't say I am actually exiled, and if they try and keep me from taking custody of my 'son', my father will probably be able to whip up enough righteous indignation to keep Mekus from openly opposing me. It's still not certain, though.

No, it's not. Meki, Kei's given me permission to do so and forgive me, he carries more weight with me than you do. Yes, as he should. But you would be wasted at the embassy, Arman. Yuko thinks not, but if you forbid it, then there 's nothing I can do. Well, let me think about it. Too many shocks in a short space of time, Arman. I thought you were trying to spare my heart. The joke set off a wave of guilt in him, but at the same time, the damage was done and he could not unsay what he had. Meki, you owe it to yourself, to us, to the country, to look after yourself. Kei shouldn't be worrying you, he's supposed to be looking after you. And when did you ever know Kei to be able to conceal his feelings from anyone, Arman? His heart is an open book. Then I beg you, help him for my sake and don't let him overwork himself. It's only two years. A lot can happen in two days, as you well know. But as you wish. When will this be finally decided? In a week, at the minimum. I will keep you informed. I'm sorry for the worry this is causing you. As if you planned this. Don't be ridiculous. Tell me when you know the final decision. At least the second conversation – that with Jena – wasn't as painful as he feared. After the first shock of learning her beloved son was going to have to stay in Utuk, she announced that she and Reji would come to stay in Kuprij. I'll work as a maid if I have to, she declared stoutly. So long as I can see my boy. Arman assured her that she would be welcome as a healer, and that Reji would almost certainly be able to get work as a animal handler. He just cautioned her not to make any decisions until Karik's situation was clearer. Her readiness to come to Kuprij would take some of the burden off Arman so far as actual parenting was concerned, and he was confident his father or Tijus could offer the couple accommodation. Mekus could hardly object – Darshianese healers were far from uncommon in Utuk these days, and were even considered

something of a status symbol among the more enlightened and wealthy citizens. Darshek could assist the village with replacing Jena if necessary, and Arman was selfish enough to be grateful at the prospect of a mind-speaker being close at hand if he wanted to talk to Kei. That, at least, would make the separation a little easier to bear. Everything was falling into place, and he was now resigned to his fate. Kei was still upset when Arman contacted him but agreed that of the options available to them, Arman had settled on the least obnoxious. I shall be wanting to talk to you every day, he warned. That will be no hardship, Kei. At least Jena and Reji will make me feel closer to you. I just hope the village will forgive me for enticing two valuable members of their community away. They forgave you for me, they can survive this. The clan is a very flexible unit, or haven't you noticed? Yes, I have. Gods, Kei, I think this is all reasonable until I imagine what it will be like not to touch you for two years. Don't, my love. This is difficult enough as it is. At least you will be safe with your father and with Jena, so will Karik. At least I know you will come home to me. I swear I will. But at the same time, Lord Meki's words came back to him about how so much could happen in a short space of time, and a shiver ran through him at the idea of Kei catching any one of a number of the infectious diseases for which they had no cure, or being killed in some kind of accident. Neither of them were young men any more, and their mortality was underlined by Urso's fate. He had never cared whether he died before he met Kei – now he feared his own death even more than his lover's because he knew full well what it would do to Kei. For Mari's sake and his father's, he kept his gloomy thoughts to himself. As the days ticked down to the hearing, his father was preoccupied with matters that kept him locked away in his office, presumably to do with the estate extension, so Arman spent much of his time with Mari and his brother, which was no hardship to him. Tijus was vocal in his delight at the idea of Arman being with them for so long and was already making plans. Mari was more quietly pleased, though she understood how hard it would be for Arman. "We can work together on the school," she said. "Perhaps Karik would even participate in the classes, if he liked."

"He could, though he's nearly old enough to teach them instead. That is, he would be if he didn't have that stutter." "He might grow out of it. Loke stuttered somewhat as a small boy, then lost it." Arman felt the familiar pang at the mention of his lost friend. "Yes, but Karik's has only got worse." "Well, we shall have to see. We must make sure he benefits from this time as much as he can, and send him home as well-educated as possible. Learning Prijian won't hurt him." Arman supposed not. It was odd to contemplate having to act in a parental role to this child when he had so firmly rejected it all those years ago. It would only be until his real parents arrived, of course. Fate really had played some strange games with Arman over the years. Finally, the day of the hearing arrived. This time Arman decided to wear the best Prijian clothes he had and to wear his hair loose, which at least looked more Prijian in style than the braid. He felt a complete hypocrite for doing so, but as he was already a perjurer, scruples on this issue were perhaps misplaced and he needed everything he could use to persuade the court he was a fit parent for Karik. He had no appetite for his breakfast. Tijus, who'd come over early, was his normal, cheerful self with his usual hearty appetite. He'd insisted on going with Arman to the court hearing, ignoring Arman's vehement objections. "Look, brother," he'd pointed out, "not even Mekus is insane enough to incite a crowd to attack an actual senator. If he went that route, he would never be able to stop the madness." Which logic was sound enough, but Arman still wished his brother would stay behind. Stubbornness ran in his family, unfortunately. At least he had firmly refused to allow anyone from the embassy to attend, and his father had offered him the closed top calash for his journey there and back. Mari and his father absented themselves early from the table, which surprised Arman. "You're nervous," his brother said, taking another slice of bread. "Calm down." "Easy for you," Arman snapped. "What if this doesn't work?" "It'll work, brother. And if not, the worst that can happen is that the boy will live the same life as you and I did."

"Tijus, imagine our father is Mekus, and then tell me you would want to have grown up with him as your parent?" "Ah, but we wouldn't have known any better." Arman glared at his brother. "You're not helping." "Sorry. This just isn't like you." "How would you know what is or isn't like me any more, Tijus? You've seen me for a total of four months in sixteen years." His brother raised an eyebrow. "That's hardly by my choice, Arman. You've changed, but not that much. I for one am not sorry for that." Arman regretted his temper and apologised. He was on edge but that wasn't Tijus' fault. A few minutes later, his father returned to the dining room. "Well, are you two going to sit there stuffing your idle faces? The court won't wait forever." Arman gaped. His father was wearing his full formal senatorial robes, and even carrying his gilt walking stick, the one he used for attending palace receptions. "What...where are you going, Father?" "To the courthouse, of course. Do you imagine you are going to decide the fate of my 'grandson' without my presence?" "Father, it's too dangerous! I can't allow it." His father stiffened. "The son does not rule the father, Arman, and certainly not in the father's house. Don't be impertinent. Tijus is going, I am going. Senator Mekus has attacked my son and my line. That needs a response. This family is going to attend this hearing as a family." Nothing Arman could say would change his mind, and since he could tell his father was not going to be moved but was becoming angry, he gave in. As if he didn't have enough things to be anxious about. The whole situation grated on him badly and he couldn't wait for it to be over. Even the formal Prijian robes sat uncomfortably on him after so long. He was going to have to swear to live as a good Prijian citizen and raise a child in the correct manner. He wasn't sure he could, in truth, do either of those things.

Mekus had been busy once more, and the court was even more full of the idle nobility than before. Their chatter was less obviously derisory this time, for which Arman supposed he had to thank Tijus and his father. His brother looked imposing in his full regalia, as tall as Arman and nearly as broad while his father swept into the courtroom with the dignity of a prince, utterly ignoring the whispers they could hear from behind them coming from the public gallery. There was a sudden stir, and Arman glanced around. He wished he hadn't – it was Mekus with Mayl on his arm, dressed as regally as Kita had ever dared, and looking a good ten years younger than he knew her to be. Mayl's father was there also, the pompous old bastard. The robes that looked so fitting on Arman's father made Senator Jecus look like a cock bird that had lost a fight to a rival – or so Arman had always thought. At his cool look, Mayl sneered at him but Arman pretended to ignore her and turned around. She had certainly kept her looks – and her nature. He found his hands were shaking, so he hid them under the table. He was afraid they would fly out and strangle someone if he didn't control himself. They stood as the judges filed in. Vekus moved for the petition to be struck out on the grounds it was supported by hearsay and the affidavits of servants – the judges refused the request immediately, which was no real surprise. Arman braced himself. Any minute now he would have to make a public statement and Mekus would know he had won. Mayl would know she had succeeded. He clenched his fist in his lap and wished Kei was here, while at the same time, being glad that his lover would not have to witness this humiliation. But then Vekus looked across his head and then nodded. Arman turned – Vekus had been looking at his father and brother. What had they to do with this? "Your honour, I request a moment. I wish to give documents to the petitioners." What? Arman stared at his lawyer in confusion as Vekus walked across the other table, handed over a document and had a quick whispered conversation with the other side's lawyer, before returning to his own table. "What's happening?" he hissed. Vekus waved for him to be silent. There was a rapid discussion between the crown lawyers, and then they took the document over to Senator Mekus. He looked at it, smirked unpleasantly, then nodded. "Your honour?" the crown lawyer said. "We have received an offer of settlement. We request a day to examine the terms and make a decision." "Granted. Return tomorrow and advise if you wish to proceed. Bailiff, call the next petitioner."

Vekus rose. The crown lawyers were already following Mekus and the others out of the courtroom. "What's going on?" Arman said, resisting the effort of his lawyer to get him to leave. "Sei, please, I'll explain, but not here." With his family leaving and the court clearing, Arman had little choice but to follow them all out, impatient to learn what in hells was going on. His father led them in stately fashion out to the foyer, where, naturally, Mekus and his companions could not resist the opportunity to stand and mock. "Still depending on your father to fight your battles, Sei Arman?" Mekus drawled, while the audience smirked sycophantically. Tijus gripped Arman's shoulder, clearly intending to get him out away from a confrontation, but Arman had been pushed to his limit and he was sick of running. Shaking his brother's hand off him, he stepped forward, a silkily polite tone coating acid words. "Better than hiding behind a woman and a child, Mekus. Or using your children to whore your ambitions." "You seem to have become at using whores yourself, or so reports say," Mayl said, her tone just as elegantly cutting, her lips curled into a sneer. "Tell me, how is that slutty serving boy you've been buggering? Is he better than the last one?" Arman gave her one of his nastiest smiles. "Why yes, my dear Mayl. He's remarkably superior to you in every way imaginable." "Are you calling my wife a servant, you filthy mongrel?" Mekus shouted, then seemed to recall where he was. "You forget we have laws against slander in this country," he added in a lower tone. He and Mayl moved a little way from their companions. Arman also lowered his voice, but not his attack. "I haven't forgotten anything, Senator, including the biological realities of conception, or the fact that once a bitch starts to wander from her mate, the habit is hard to break. Of course it doesn't matter if the bitch isn't good breeding material. Or the stud is infertile through age. Fortunate, is it not, that you managed two children the first time around?" Mayl's sneer grew more ugly. "It's fortunate that you did not have more children, Arman, considering what a shockingly improper life you lead, flaunting your low-born male lover as if you're proud of him. You're the joke of Utuk on that score, do you know that?"

"Oh, I do, I do. Fortunately I got used to the pity while I was married to you." She slapped him, just as he expected, but when she swung for another blow, he grabbed her hand and crushed it painfully. "No, my girl. You get one for fun, and no more. As for improper living, let's not start trading insults, not in front of all these noble people." He couldn't believe how coldly calm he was, considering his anger. It was almost like being on the battlefield again. "Do you not have the slightest shame, using your own child as a weapon against me?" He stroked her bare arm in a parody of affection. "So warm skinned, and yet so cold blooded." He let her hand go in disgust. "Don't you ever make yourself sick, Mayl?" "You treacherous creature, keep your hands off her!" Mekus shouted, raising a fist. Arman caught it easily, and Mekus could only struggle against his painful grip – all those sparring sessions with Tiko had kept him nearly as fit as he'd been at twenty. "You forget, Senator, you started this," he said in Darshianese. "Now you've crossed my path for the last time. Do it again, and I won't be using the court to fight for me." "You dare threaten a Senator of the Prij?" "I threaten absolutely nothing, Mekus. It's a statement of fact." He tightened his grip and Mekus broke out in a sweat. "I hide behind no man, Mekus, and you're nothing but an irritant. Don't overestimate your importance. You've robbed me of nothing I want, and took up with a faithless wife I discarded. Don't think you can use the child again. He means nothing to me. You've shot your bolt, now leave me and mine alone, or by all the gods, I will remove you from the field. Do you understand?" "I'm not frightened of you." The way the man's voice shook made a liar of his words. Arman leaned forward, right into Mekus' face. "You should be," he said softly, putting all the menace he was capable of into his voice. "And don't even think about threatening my family. Our ties to this nation and to the crown go deeper than yours ever will, and even Kita steps carefully around my father. You've had your little game, but now you will keep out of my way or you will suffer for it." He thrust the man's fist back at him, forcing him to step back. "The pleasure has been entirely yours," he said, speaking in Prijian. "Shall we go?" he said, turning to Tijus, who was maintaining an admirably serene expression.

"Certainly, brother," Tijus said, laying what looked like a friendly hand on Arman's shoulder, but which was actually an unmistakeable command to stop toying with this damn fool and go. "Good day, Senator, Sei Mayl," he added pleasantly as he made Arman turn around and walk away, then ushered his brother and father out and down to their carriage before Arman could make more a fool of himself. Once the calash was in motion, Tijus raised an eyebrow at him. "Not the wisest thing you could have done, Arman. Not if you want to ever leave this island in one piece." Arman glared at them all. "Yes, and speaking of leaving, will someone pissing well tell me what went on in the court just then?" The adrenaline from the argument was hitting him and he was in the mood for a proper no-holds fight with someone, even if it was with his family. "Mind your language, Arman," his father reproved. "I will have to mind more than my language if I don't get an answer. Vekus, what was that document and what did they mean by an offer to settle?" The lawyer looked as if he was about to tortured. "Sei...." His father interrupted. "Vekus asked if the other side were amenable to a financial settlement, which they indicated they were and an offer matching their request has been placed with them. If they agree the terms, Karik will be placed in your custody, no strings, no other claims, nothing else to be held over your head." He spoke as if this was completely to be expected. "Of course, given your disgusting display just now, they may decide it's more amusing to keep tormenting you. I thought you were smarter than that." Arman ignored the insult, knowing his father had enjoyed seeing Mekus squirm as much as Tijus had, whatever their protests. "But.... How much money are we talking about? And who... you?" "Yes, me and the amount is unimportant. What is important is that you will return to your home and your life and proceed to the glittering destiny which you have earned." Arman stared. "I had already accepted I needed to stay here. You had no right to interfere, Father."

His father narrowed his eyes in obvious irritation. "I have a right as your father to ensure your happiness, and your acceptance was based on a false premise, which was that you could not ask for my help. I must say I am wounded you think so little of me." "It wasn't that," he protested. "But the cost... and Karik isn't even my son!" "No, Arman. But you are mine and so long as I live, entitled to my help to the limit of my strength, my wealth and my ability. If you would do so much for the adoptive child of friends, why would you deny me my claim?" Arman was speechless. With one generous gesture, his father had diverted him from doing something he had already resigned himself to do, and he felt a little dazed by the speed of events. "How much? Father, I need to know." "Enough. I disposed of some property. No one will suffer." "Please don't tell me you sold the Garok estate. Father, no, you loved that estate...." Tijus coughed. "Arman, I bought the vineyard from Father to keep it with the house. The estate remains in the family, don't worry." "But you were to inherit it! Father...." "Arman, be quiet. It amounted to no more than what you are to receive when I die, which I felt you didn't want anyway, given your disdain for personal property." "But I was going to pass anything you left to me to Tijus' children!" Now he wished he'd broken Mekus' pissing arm. That greedy, conniving shit. "My children will not starve, brother. Father is right. Please don't speak of this until we go home." Vekus looked distinctly uncomfortable and Arman turned on him. "You – you should have told me," he said, glaring at him. "Vekus works for me and always has done," his father said. "He took my instructions. Since you were so determined to destroy your life, it's a good thing he did. Vekus, what happens if they accept it?"

The lawyer swallowed, obviously glad to not have to deal with Arman. "I expect to receive a note at my office today if they do, and in that case it will just be a formal withdrawal of the suit. They will present us with a complete abjuration of any claims by the maternal line. The boy should be handed over shortly thereafter, probably to the embassy. If for some reason they decide to reject it, then we proceed as we would have done. But they won't reject it. The...er...offer was very generous. Rejecting it after indicating a willingness to accept compensation in the first place, would count heavily in our favour and they know it." Shortly after that, Vekus was let off near his offices, and Arman's family drove home in silence. He just didn't know what to say to such a generous action. A quarter of his father's wealth at least, Vekus had said. So it had to have been more than that – and he knew it had to be more than the third Vekus had mentioned. Not only had Mekus got a full measure of enjoyment from this situation, managing to drag Arman through as much trouble as he could create, he also was going to end up with a healthy profit. He couldn't have done better if Karik's return to Utuk had been planned. Arman felt sick. He wasn't worth it. Karik wasn't worth it. Mari greeted them with a worried expression. "How did it go? Did you succeed?" Arman's father answered for them. "It's over, Mari. Join us in the library, my dear, if you would." Arman had to wait until his brother and father shed their heavy formal robes, and then the steward was summoned to bring pijo for them all. Only once it had been served, and the door closed, did his father permit him to speak. "Are you angry because you wanted to stay in Utuk after all, or because the secret was kept from you?" "I'm angry because you've beggared yourself for a boy who means nothing whatsoever to you, and is not connected to this family at all! I'm angry because Tijus' children had a right to that money. What about Mari? Could she not use those funds, Father?" He kept his tone low out of respect for his father's companion, and because whatever he had done, his father had acted out of familial duty. His father looked at Mari and took her hand. "Son, did it ever occur to you why I have not married this fine lady?" "I honestly hadn't considered it, Father."

His father harrumphed, while Tijus grinned. "It's all your fault, you know. It was you who kept going on about how wrong it was that women in our society had so few rights. We decided Mari had more autonomy and more security living as a widow with an independent source of income than if she were my wife, and her money were swallowed up in my own. Her future is completely secure, so is that of Tijus' children. All I have done is use the money which would have been yours anyway, to help you before I die instead afterwards. This route gives me more pleasure – or it would if you would stop being so ungracious." "Forgive me, but...you know I was ready to stay." "Yes you were, and more fool you. Arman, you've done your duty to this society. Now you have a lover who, if he were female, would make a fine wife for you, a role which is important and furthers the interests of Darshian and in doing that, you strengthen Kuprij. Ah, yes, I know we need your country, I'm no idiot. We need Darshian, Darshian needs you and you need Kei. Take the boy back to his parents and get on with your life. Time is too short to waste." He lifted Mari's hand and kissed it. "Someone once told me to find some joy in life. I suggest you follow your own advice, Arman." "But...I was looking forward to being with you all." He hadn't meant to admit that, but it was true. He hadn't realise to what extent until the possibility was removed. "And we were looking forward to it too, brother," Tijus said kindly. "But Father's right – you belong in the north now. None of us are permanently hurt by this. The vineyard is a good investment for me, and my children don't need Father's money." Arman shook his head. "I'm overwhelmed by your generosity. I just don't think I'm worth it." "Then you're truly a fool." But his father's words were said kindly. "Now, if all goes well, you should be going home in a day or two. Let's not waste this time we have in bemoaning the past." "No. But, Father, does it not bother you that Mekus has won?" His father snorted. "He hasn't won, Arman. Winning would mean he had hurt us. All he's got is some money. I'm the one who wins, for I see my son returned to where I want him to be. Mekus will never have the satisfaction in his child that I have in mine. Both of mine. Now come with me into the garden. Tijus, do you want to invite those brats of yours over for lunch?"

Karik was with the tutor in the library as usual, and as usual, he was bored almost beyond belief. The man was droning on about the lineage of the present sovereign, in which subject Karik could not begin to feign an interest, but since his tutor was just as happy with a vacuous smile as real attention, he gave him that and half an ear, while he gazed out the window. It was a beautiful day, but it did him no good to know that. He could only go as far as the garden, and while he could stare out at the sea and the boats which could carry him home, he knew he could not escape. He had thought it ought to be getting easier after a month. Instead, he was growing more miserable and homesick with every breath. Footsteps outside the library and then the door was flung open. Mykis was there and snapped a command at the tutor too quickly for Karik to catch. The man bowed and left without a backward glance. Karik stood, uncertain what he should do. "Go to your room and remove those clothes, boy. Get dressed in your heathen outfit. Move!" Karik scrambled, wondering why Mykis had abruptly dropped his obsequious politeness. It was either good news or bad news, but something had to have happened. Mykis stood and watched him take everything off and then thrust his old clothes back at him. "Take nothing which you did not bring, or you will be punished," Mykis warned, tapping his cane threateningly as Karik got dressed, relieved beyond words to be free of the heavy uncomfortable clothes. As if Karik wanted anything from this odious house... ah, but there was one thing. He opened the drawer and pulled out Gyo's bracelet which had fortunately escaped the curiosity and attention of the maids. He slipped it onto his wrist. "What's g-going on?" "Shut up and follow me." He was led downstairs and then taken out the back of the house. A carriage was waiting, along with four soldiers. Karik was told to get into the carriage, and then Mykis snapped an order to the soldiers who set the vehicle in motion without delay. "Wait! Wuh-where am I going?" "Back to the savages who raised you, and good riddance, boy." Mykis turned his back on him and walked back into the house.

Karik sat back, stunned. Was it true? Was he going home? But why hadn't his mother come to say farewell? Did she even know he was going? And was Arman involved in this? The carriage was driven at breakneck speed through the streets, as if the soldiers couldn't be rid of him soon enough. They came to the Darshianese embassy in no time at all and he was ordered out of the vehicle with breathtaking rudeness. The driver said something to the gate guards and then they drove off again, leaving Karik bewildered and utterly at a loss to know what he was supposed to do. Fortunately, the embassy guards took efficient charge of things, and one led him inside the embassy. A clerk was sent for the ambassador, who came out so quickly Karik wondered if he'd been waiting for him to arrive – but apparently not. "Blessed gods, Karik! When did you get here? And how?" "He was just dumped here by those damn Prij," the soldier with him explained. "They said he was your responsibility now." "Really? Emi, could you send a message to Senator Armis' house for Arman and tell him that Karik is here, and ask him what he wants me to do. Are you all right, lad? I see they cut your hair – I'm sorry." Karik's hand went to the back of his head. He had almost got used to the lack of the braid. "P-Pa said, d-do whatever I huh-had to." "Yes, indeed. Oh, I'm glad you're safe," Yuko said, giving him a quick hug. "I need to find out when we can send you back, and then we should let you talk to your parents...." He stopped talking and smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, I've been in a bit of a flap since Urso died, can't seem to organise things the way he did." "Ur-Urso died?" Yuko frowned. "Gods, did they not even tell you about that? At least now you're safe and you're going home. Are you pleased?" Karik nodded, even though his thoughts were whirling. How had Urso died? And what would Arman say to him? What would Karik say to Arman? Everything was changed now. And he still didn't know if his mother realised he had left her house. "Come into my office, Karik. Just let me sort a few things out and then I'll explain what's been going on."

Karik waited impatiently while Yuko made arrangements with his staff, and wrote a couple of quick notes to be delivered. Then they were alone. "Well, the good news is that Senator Mekus and his wife and her family have completely given up their claim to you. You can go with Arman whenever he chooses and I imagine that will be on the first ship back to Darshek." Karik stared. "My muh-mother? M-Mayl? She d-doesn't wuh-want me?" Yuko seemed to be embarrassed by his question. "Ah, well, I don't know about that, Karik. All I know is that Arman was able to settle their claim. I don't know what the thinking was behind them withdrawing it. Perhaps they thought you would be happier in Ai-Albon." Karik very much doubted Mekus, at least, cared in the least about his happiness. The odd thing was that at dinner the previous night, there had not been the slightest hint about any of this, and his mother had been as affectionate as usual. Why hadn't she even come to say farewell? "Urso?" "That was very sad, I'm afraid. There was a riot after the first hearing and Urso was killed by a slingshot. We suspect the riot was incited by people with a grudge against Arman." Karik started. "Mekus? D-Did he do it?" Yuko blinked. "Now how on earth did you come to that conclusion, lad?" Karik explained about Mekus' comments two weeks before. Yuko nodded, his expression grim. "Well, that tends to confirm our suspicions, not that there was much doubt. Mekus seems to have wanted to cause Arman harm in any way he could, damn him. But at least you both are free of him. Now, would you like to speak to your parents?" Karik started to say 'yes' automatically, then shook his head. He didn't know what to say to them. He didn't even know what to call them any more. "Is there something wrong, Karik?" Karik shook his head again, looking at the floor. "Well, never mind. You can stay here in the embassy, unless Arman wants you to go to his father's house. My wife and I live here so you can stay in our quarters if you don't mind sharing with our two sons, or you can stay in the guest room as before, if you prefer." "Sh-sharing wuh-would be nice." Having someone to talk to who wasn't Mykis would be a pleasant change

"You've probably missed the company of your own people. Or have you actually been enjoying yourself?" Yuko's kind smile made it obvious that he guessed Karik had been doing nothing of the kind. "No. I huh-hated it." "Yes, I thought you probably did. It's over now, lad. You'll be home very soon and you can put this behind you. I know that Gyo will be glad you're coming home." At the sound of his friend's name, Karik wilted. How could he begin to explain this to him, and the complication of learning who his father really was? How could Gyo understand how Karik felt, when Karik didn't really understand himself? He just nodded, hoping Yuko wouldn't press him. Yuko wasn't an ambassador for nothing, and seemed to realise Karik needed time to collect his thoughts. "Why don't you come to our apartment and we can get you settled in. Arman brought a pack of your things for you, and you can just relax and enjoy yourself. Is there anything you want to do?" "N-not speak Prijian." Yuko seemed startled, then laughed. "I think we can arrange that. I tell you what, you can have free access to the library while you're here, that should keep you amused. We can't let you explore Utuk but I fancy you have no interest in that. If Arman doesn't want to delay leaving for family reasons, I think we can have you on a boat tomorrow evening. Feel free to go anywhere in the embassy or the grounds that you want. My people should know where I am. If you need anything, let me know." He gave Karik the first genuine, guileless smile he'd received in nearly a month. "I'm so glad we got you back, Karik. I kept imagining what it would be like if one of our boys was taken away from us and I confess it made my blood run cold." Karik nodded. But he was beginning to suspect that not all parents felt that way about their children. What he didn't know was whether the fault lay with the parents or with the child. If both parents were indifferent to their offspring, maybe it was because the child didn't deserve their affection? He suddenly felt cold, even in the mild heat of a sunny Utuk day. He should be glad now he had been rescued but he couldn't find it in him to rejoice at all. Both his natural parents had rejected him now. He knew that Mayl had to have realised he was being sent away, yet hadn't said a word. Arman.... Arman had

refused to tell him the truth because he hadn't wanted Karik to have a claim on him. Yuko broke into his thoughts. "Now, lad, don't look so downcast. Come along and meet my sons. They're a bit on the boisterous side but they don't actually bite. At least, they haven't since they were toddlers," he added with a smile. He laid a friendly hand on Karik's shoulder, and Karik let himself be guided towards the private apartments, and towards a family who would never dream of behaving as Karik's had done. He wondered if Yuko's sons knew just how lucky they were.

Chapter 15 Arman received Yuko's message with a jolt of relief. It truly was all over. "I should go down to the embassy and make arrangements...." His father lifted his hand. "No, Arman, let them. Your ambassador can take care of the boy and the ship booking. He can let Kei know as well. If we have only a day or two with you left, let us enjoy it uninterrupted. For Tijus' sake, if nothing else." "Yes, of course." Though he didn't want to put more work on Yuko's overburdened shoulders, there was no denying the wistfulness in his father's eyes, nor the sudden realisation in his own heart that this might actually be the last days in which he would have to enjoy his father's company. Even the joy of knowing he would not, after all, have to be separated from Kei for so long, was muted by this thought. A messenger was sent back to tell Yuko to book the two of them on the next available ship, and to ask if he would pass the message to Lord Meki and Kei. Arman would try to speak to his lover before he went, but it wasn't so urgent now he was on his way home. Another message was sent to Tijus, telling him that Arman was likely to be leaving soon. His brother and his family arrived a couple of hours later, and Arman made a special effort to give as much of himself to them as he could. He had been stung by his brother's pointed comments about the lack of contact, and he was conscious that he could have been more assiduous in his letters and invitations. Returning to Utuk still seemed impossible, given his situation and Kei's, but he was determined to extract promises from all of them to visit within a year, and then as regularly as they could manage. His niece and nephew were growing into fine young people, and he wanted to be part of that as Kei was with his sister's children. He found himself, for the first time since he'd left Utuk sixteen years ago, actually regretting the decision to do so. Only a little, and he wouldn't give up Kei or what he had achieved for anything, but the price had been high for all that. Kei, wise generous Kei, had known it, and had been more worried on his behalf than he'd been for himself. Would he have done things differently? Probably not. But he still wondered what it would have been like if he had. Yuko sent a message later that day to say that Arman and Karik were booked on a boat leaving at sunset the following day, that Lord Meki had been informed, but that Kei was away on his monthly inspection at the prison island and would not return until late the following day. A message would be given to him, of course. Yuko also reported that Karik, although in good health, seemed very

subdued and unwilling to talk about his experience – did Arman want to have him to stay at his father's, or should Yuko keep him at the embassy with his family? Arman was happy for Yuko to take care of Karik. He was sure the ambassador's genial company was kinder to a boy of Karik's reticent character, since in truth, Arman wasn't sure he could show much patience for him right now. The price to free him had been too high for Arman to dismiss it easily. He said none of this to his family. Instead, once the children had been sent to bed in the guest room, the adults gathered around the fire (a ridiculous thing in Utuk in such a warm late winter, but it was cosy nonetheless) with glasses of wine. Mari sat at his father's right side, her hand on his arm in an affectionate manner – Arman couldn't help wondering if they slept together. Both were old-fashioned, very conservative people in their upbringing, but still, Mari had been a beauty in her day and was still lovely in her old age. His father was tall, distinguished and straight-backed despite his arthritis, and had lost none of his well-bred looks which Tijus had inherited more than Arman, though both sons had his eyes. Surely the joys of lovemaking were not beyond them, and Arman for one would never censure them, married or not. After all, he wasn't in a position to pass judgement. Both had been widowed a very long time, and they deserved their happiness. But he was still his father's son enough that wild urs beasts would not rip the question from his tongue. There was no question about Tijus and Temir. Tijus had always adored his wife, and they were among the most affectionate Prijian couples Arman had ever known – not, he mentally amended, that this was much of a compliment, considering the number of arranged marriages, and how few of them had led to genuine affection between the couples. Thinking about this, Arman realised there was a question he wanted an answer to. "Father, how did you meet Mother? I mean, why did you not have an arranged marriage?" His father frowned. "It was arranged, Arman. I'd known her before, of course – our families met all the time, as they tend to do. But my father and hers brokered it, as is normal. Fortunately, we respected each other from the start, unlike so many young people these days. We both wanted children and grandchildren." "Elda had a very sweet nature," Mari said quietly. "She told me before she was married that she thought your father was such a handsome man, and she was going to do everything she could to make it a happy marriage." His father laid his hand over hers. "And she did. As did I, or so I tried to do. The gods know how I failed in so many ways. Her great sadness was in not having a daughter as well as sons. She wanted a big family – we both did. If only she had

been granted her wish," he added sadly. Mari looked at him with sympathy in her eyes. "Kei reminds me of her, you know." "He does? I'm not sure I should tell him that," Arman said, smiling at Kei's probable reaction to that comment. "Why ever not? He has Elda's compassion, and love of life. If only he were a woman," his father said, sighing. Tijus chuckled. "Now that, you really shouldn't pass on, brother. Though it's a shame you can't have children with him." "I couldn't anyway, Tijus. The gifted are infertile. He can't have children, nor can Karik's parents. That's the real shame of it." "I didn't know that," Temir said, looking surprised. "How sad – none of them at all can have children?" "Not a one. But I would rather have Kei and no children, than Mayl and a dozen, thank you. Not every wife is as amiable as you, Temir, or as Mother was." "Mayl is spoiled," his father said dismissively. "Never expected to put herself out for anyone, and never would do." "Would you have made that match for me had you known that?" After all these years, the resentment over his failed marriage had dulled considerably, and though it sickened him to think of Mayl herself, he was no longer angry at having been pushed into the match. He was just curious as to why. "I knew even before the wedding she had a foul temper and was prone to mistreating servants." "But I did not know that, and now I wish you had told me, Arman. Though I disliked her father, she seemed a perfectly reasonable choice, and her line is impeccable, you have to admit that. Her mother was quite a pleasant lady, so I recall, and Mayl always behaved demurely when I met her. I didn't realise you knew any different. Why didn't you say something?" Now, Arman had to wonder the same thing. "Because I thought it was what was required of me, and that you would be angry if I withdrew." "It sounds," Tijus said dryly, "as if a few well-chosen words would have saved a lot of people a lot of misery over the years."

"But then you would not be so happy with Kei," Mari said. "I believe you did the right thing, in honouring your father's wishes. A dutiful son is a blessing." His father snorted. "Yes, but a foolish one is not. Did you really think I would force you into a marriage with someone you disliked that much, Arman? Good gods, what a monster you thought me." Arman bowed his head. "I'm sorry. I was just trying to do my duty as a son. But as Mari said, that act led in a roundabout way to many things that are wholly good, so I can't regret it now." "Except you have no heir, Arman. You might regret that later, you know. Children can occasionally be of some slight comfort in one's old age." Tijus grinned at the comment. "No doubt. Perhaps I should take Karik as my heir since he's mine on paper, but I rather think Reji and Jena would object." "Hmmm. At least the boy seems to have surmounted his bloodline, that's one miracle." "And Sei Mayl has been punished by the gods for her infidelity, since her second marriage has not been blessed with offspring," Mari said, her lips pursed disapprovingly. Arman looked up at Tijus, who looked at his father. "You know, that's odd, now you come to mention it," Tijus said slowly. "You don't think...?" Temir said. "Would she have stooped that low?" his father asked. "Mayl? Define 'too low'," Arman said in disgust. "Kei said she was even eyeing him up, and she despised him. Er, sorry, Mari." "I don't know where you men got the idea I'm so sheltered," she said, wagging her finger at them all. "It's not like I've never heard of the concept before. Just because I don't approve, doesn't mean I don't know. But why would she take two lovers? What about the risk of being caught?" "What risk? She had her servants to protect her and they did a damn good job for four years. She might not even have had two lovers – perhaps Karik was the result of a temporary dalliance."

Tijus looked at Arman. "Clever, don't you think? She lines up Mekus in case you set her aside or Mekus succeeds in his ambitions, which he did. She can hold Mekus' supposed child over him if he threatened to expose her, and use it as a lever to get him to marry him if he's the least reluctant." "And we all know he's too damn arrogant to work out he's not the father," Arman said with disgust. "At least it explains why the boy hasn't inherited the looks from that side, which is his good fortune, of course." Temir frowned. "But the risk – you could have exposed Mayl as an adulterer, Arman." "She knew he would not," his father said. "Even I knew my son would not bring such scandal on himself and our house that way, not unless severely provoked. If you were a less honourable man, she might have been playing a more dangerous game." Arman raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You do recall that I am the filthy traitor general, the shame of our line, don't you, Father?" "I am hourly reminded of it, my son," his father snapped back, but with the hint of a smile in his eyes. "Not even the Lord Commander actually believes you did it for monetary gain or position. He bends my ear on the subject whenever I go near him, the pompous old windbag – he still thinks Kei cast a spell over you for his own immoral purposes. " Arman had to laugh. "Maybe Kei did at that. He's quite the magician at some things." "Arman," Mari asked, "would you have taken Karik as your own to raise if you had realised that Senator Mekus was not his father?" He was surprised at the question, and had to think about it. "I don't know," he said slowly. "Kei would have taken him regardless, I know that, and made a wonderful parent. I suppose I'm less confident that I would have done. The boy, I think, has had a much happier life with the couple who raised him. But he might have suffered less prejudice with a Prijian father. Or more." He shrugged. "I don't know, and it's really too late for second thoughts." "You could adopt a child," Mari said, somewhat diffidently. "There must be orphans in need of a home in Darshek."

"Actually, fewer than you would think. Because fertility is so low, families are always very jealous of any children left without guardian and no child is allowed to grow up unwanted. The number of children I've heard of without any family at all since I've lived up there I could number on the fingers of one hand, and in every case there were more families willing to take them than were needed. Adoption carries no stigma, you see." "Would that it did not with so many people here," Mari sighed. "One sees such cruelty even to step-children. People should realise that the bloodline is not all there is to a child." Arman coughed and couldn't meet her eyes. He'd been guilty of exactly that prejudice with respect to Karik, and now, it seemed, unjustly. "Perhaps Prijian society will learn from its neighbours," Temir said, sipping her wine. "I couldn't bear the idea of Eren and Tije being mistreated if they had to be taken in by another family, should something happen to Tijus and me." "Actually, Arman, that's something I wanted to ask you about." Arman looked at his brother. "At present, Father and Mari would be their guardians should the worst happen...." "But I'm too old to be chasing after youngsters," his father interrupted in a gruff voice. "You and Kei would be much more suitable." Arman blinked. "Er, Temir? What about your sister and her husband?" She looked at Tijus, who answered. "We've talked about it and we think you and Kei would be better. If you would agree, of course. But it sounds like you don't want the responsibility of a child, let alone two." "It's not that...." Arman stopped. Was it just that he was too lazy to be a father? "Let me ask him. Kei adores children, they adore him. He would make up for a lot of deficiencies on my part." His father made a derisory noise. "Such modesty is not only unbecoming, it's utterly ridiculous, Arman." "Maybe so, Father, but you forget Kei is male and Darshianese. Tije will be a senator one day. Doesn't that matter to either of you?" "The safety of our children matters most, Arman." Tijus' expression was grave. "Let me be frank, brother. I don't know that there will even be a senate when I come to hand over my position to my boy, and I don't know that I would want

him to be part of one such as it will be then. I will not desert my country, but I will not force a destiny on my children. Tije will be free to choose as I was...." "Wait – you chose?" Arman looked at his father in bewilderment. "But surely you insisted...." "To what purpose, Arman? To serve reluctantly is to serve badly. Tijus, I'm proud to say, wanted to serve his country, and has done so honourably. Much good it has done him though." "So it will be up to Tije," Arman's brother said firmly. "If he decides he would prefer to live in Darshian, or follow another destiny, it's up to him." "Unusually enlightened of you, brother," Arman murmured. Tijus only grinned. "Oh, I'm completely beyond hope having you as a sibling. People expect eccentricity from me and breathe a sigh of relief when I act with sober responsibility. The worst they will say about Tije if he decides not to be a senator is that he's taking after his uncle, and I think he would take that as a compliment," he said, raising his glass in ironic salute. But then he added in a more serious tone. "Will you ask Kei about the guardianship? We live in such uncertain times, and Father, I'm sorry to say, is really too old to be troubled by such a burden now." "Of course. Send the papers on to me anyway, I'm certain Kei will agree and by the time I get them, I will have spoken to him." He bowed his head. "It would be a honour, but one I would gladly avoid for the sake of your continued wellbeing." "Enough of this gloomy chatter," his father said abruptly. "Tijus, ring the bell for the maid, and let's have another glass of wine." "Armis, your arthritis." "Oh, damn my arthritis, Mari. Indulge my delusion of being young and able to eat and drink what I want for just one night, for the gods' sake." She sighed, and he patted her hand, before leaning over and whispering something in her ear which made her smile. Arman thought they looked very sweet together and grinned into his wine cup. Kei would be so pleased to learn of this development – he'd always hoped to match make for the pair of them. It was his turn to sigh. The one thing this evening lacked had been his lover's presence. Even without Kei, he would almost name the feeling inside him as

something close to happiness. But tomorrow he would leave, and he had no idea if he would ever share an evening like this again. What really surprised him was that he would never have believed that he could ever have wanted to.

For the look of the thing, Arman sent a note to the embassy the following morning to ask if Yuko needed him to come down earlier than would be required to collect Karik and proceed to the ship, but when the reply came that his presence was not necessary, he was relieved. Tijus' children wanted to spend as much time with him as they could, which Arman found endearing. He had missed so much of their upbringing, and while he hoped it would never be necessary to exercise the guardianship he had all but agreed to, he knew if he had to do so, it would only enrich his life. He was beginning to realise what he had given away all those years ago when he had handed Karik over to Jena, and what he had denied Kei. It was too late to change that decision, but if the worst happened, he would be proud to be a father to his brother's children. Mari asked, rather diffidently, if Arman thought he might have time to visit the school after all, and his father and brother had firmly insisted that he should. After the court case had passed without physical threat, Arman rather thought they could risk a discreet visit to Karus' old home. It was somewhat of a crush in his father's calash, but there was a comfortable intimacy in having his niece perch on his knee, Tijus' son on his father's lap. He'd sat like this with Kei's niece and nephew, but never his own. There had never been the informality in his father's house when Arman had been growing up that would have allowed such a thing, and it was a sign of how mellow his father was becoming. But he had missed so much of that process too. "Are you all right, uncle Arman?" Eren piped. "You look so sad." "Eren, don't be rude," her mother said. "It's all right, Temir," Arman said peaceably. "Concern is never rude, Eren. Your uncle Kei taught me that." His niece smiled in gratitude for his support. "Are you sad?" "Yes, I am because this evening I have to go away and not see you all for a long time. I shall miss you all a good deal." His father was watching him closely, but

choosing to be rather inscrutable, as if he wanted to know what more his son would say. "Why don't you visit us, Uncle Arman? Does Uncle Kei not like boats?" This was Tije, a little older and thus able to speculate with more authority. "It's not that, Tije. It's...Uncle Kei has a very important job in Darshian and so he needs to stay there and do it." "But Father does an important job here, and he visits you," his nephew said with devastating accuracy. "Tije, that's...," Temir started to say, but her husband put his hand over hers. It seemed Tijus wanted to know the answer too. "Yes, he does," Arman said. "But when your family visit Darshek, you're made welcome. That wouldn't be true if Uncle Kei and I were to come here to visit you. Not," he added hastily as Tije drew breath to argue, "that you and Grandfather and Mari wouldn't. But other people." "You mean the people who make fun of us because of you?" Tije said. "The ones who Father said were worthless, stupid old men?" Arman's father coughed. Mari hid her mouth. "Er...yes," Arman acknowledged. "But you wouldn't be visiting them. Had Uncle Kei ever even been to Utuk?" "Once. A long time ago." "Did he like it, Uncle Arman?" Eren asked. "I don't remember him coming to visit." "No, it was long before either of you were born. And no, he probably didn't like it because he was very unhappy when he was here." "But he might like it now," Tije persisted. "Will you ask him, Uncle Arman?" Arman's father was still watching him. "Well, Father? Would it be wise for me to return?" Tije was looking at them in puzzlement, but like the intelligent child he undoubtedly was, he waited for his grandfather's answer. "I think," Arman's father said carefully, "a time might come when it will be possible. But it's

equally likely that it will grow too difficult." Arman understood what he was not going to say in front of the children. So much depended on the stability of Kita's rule, and that teetered on a knife-edge right now. "Tije, your uncle has responsibilities and it's not fair to badger him into abandoning them." "I'm sorry, Grandfather. Apologies, Uncle Arman," Tije said contritely. "No, I'm sorry, my nephew, for not being able to promise something that I would very much like to do. All I can promise is that if it becomes possible for both of us to visit in a manner that causes no harm, we will, and that you – all of you – will be welcome in whatever home we have, for as long either of us live." Tije looked rather solemn at Arman's words, which, on reflection, were not the cheeriest he could have come up to reassure a young boy. "May we write to you, Uncle Arman? I write very well now." "I would be honoured and pleased, Tije, and I promise to write to you as well. It's about time you took an interest in the world outside Kuprij." That raised a slight smile in the boy, but his sister seemed to have only got the point that her uncle was probably not coming back to Utuk. "Won't we ever seen you again, Uncle Arman?" she asked quietly, twisting around to stare at him with sad eyes. "Of course you will. You're my dear niece, and my family. How could I bear not to see you again?" he gave her the warmest smile he could and she returned it a little uncertainly. "And here we are." "I expect you two to set a good example," Arman's father said severely, as the footman opened the door and offered a hand to help him step down. "We will, Grandfather," Tije said. "I wasn't talking about you," his grandfather replied, looking across his head to Arman, and this time, there was no mistaking his expression. Arman smiled back. Gods, he would miss the old man.

Stepping across the familiar threshold brought such a pang of grief that Arman had to hang onto the door frame briefly to get his composure back. And yet there

were subtle changes in the decoration, in the sounds coming from behind doors, the smells of young children and their activities, that reminded him, if he needed it, that Karus had long since departed his earthly dwelling, though his spirit was evident in every fragment of his house. Mari took to Karus' old library, now the main classroom, and the pupils stood respectfully to greet their distinguished visitors. Their tutor, an elderly man who had once worked as Karus had, teaching the elite, bowed, and then Arman's father told them to carry on. It was a practical lesson in mathematics, and though there was a mixed age group, the tutor expected – and got – full participation, while Arman's family watched for half an hour or so. After that, they were shown another class – this time for the mothers of the children – being run outside in Karus' still beautiful garden. He was deeply impressed with all he saw, and he couldn't help but think how pleased Karus would have been to see his legacy enable such good work. His household servants had long since retired, or been found good situations, and they had needed only a small portion of Karus' money to secure their futures. Some more funds had been invested in case they fell upon hard times, but the rest had been joined to Arman's money to keep the house intact, and to be used to educate the children of the working poor – specifically, the children of craftsmen who had died and left their widows dependent on charity. Mari had hired teachers to teach such skills with which women could earn a living, and used her network of friends and like-minded noblewomen (of whom there were a surprising number) to find positions for those inclined to domestic service. Their children were assisted into apprenticeships, and those who wanted, were offered the opportunity to learn to read and write, a rare thing for the underclass. Compensation for the time taken for tutoring was paid to their employers, and those with ability were encouraged to continue with their studies. In many cases, the children had got better positions than their apprenticeships alone would have got them, and two had travelled to the Urshek academy to study on Darshianese scholarships. Kei was keen to encourage more to travel to Darshian, either north or south, as they wanted. It was only a small thing amongst the poverty and hardship of the Prijian underclass, but Mari had more capacity to help than she had people looking for it. The poor were suspicious of formal education, especially for their womenfolk, and had Mari been less gentle and kind, the scheme would have failed utterly for lack of trust. Arman's name was kept quite out of it, which suited him, but he was delighted to be part of reducing ignorance, in however small a way. It had been Karus' goal in life, and Arman felt Karus' spirit infused the entire venture.

For Mari's part, she was honouring the memory of her beloved son, who had not been allowed to reach his own potential. She wanted to help the children of other women in the way she had not been able to help her own. In doing so, Arman knew she had assuaged some of her own grief, and had grown in confidence and happiness herself. Even though Arman had exorcised a little of his own grief and guilt over Loke's death in helping her set it up, those feelings had returned in full force as he had listened to the children reciting their numbers, eager young minds that would, one hoped, grow into fine young adults. Though they had made the visit as brief as possible, it was nearly two hours before they returned to his father's house. Rather to Arman's surprise, Mari asked if she could speak privately to him in the garden, while Tijus and his family were occupied in the house. "Is there a problem, Mari? Is it the school? Gods, Father hasn't decided to not fund the new one in Garok because of me, has he?" Mari put her hand up to his lips to make him shut up, an intimate gesture which astonished him. Prijian women normally just didn't do such things except to their husbands or children in private. "Hush. There's nothing wrong. We're delaying the school in Garok but not for financial reasons. The political climate is too difficult, and we don't want to be seen as a cause of unrest. The school here has been running long enough and quietly enough not to attract attention. But now is not the time to be seen as stirring up the poor." "Yes, I understand," Arman said. He frowned. "But...what do you need to talk about?" She indicated they should sit on a long marble bench where the late morning sun was warming the garden. "I do love this place," she said quietly. "It holds such happy memories. I remember when Loke and I first came to live here, it was one of the things which eased the pain of losing our own house, the fact it had a lovely garden. And of course, you," she added. "His new friend." Arman's jaw tightened instinctively against the pain of the memory. He still found it odd how deeply the memory of that loss hurt, so many years later. He could remember every moment of that terrible day with astonishing clarity. "And look how well I served him," he said bitterly. "And this is what I wanted to talk to you about. We don't have much time left with you, and I don't want to deprive your father of what we do have, but I wanted to talk to you. Eren was right, you looked very sad earlier. And now we've been to the school, you've become more depressed. Is it going back to Karus' house?"

He took her hand and tried to smile. "Yes, and...do you ever wonder what Loke would be like now? What kind of man he would be?" He hadn't meant to blurt that out, but it had been on his mind for hours. "I'm sorry...." She held up her hand. "No, don't be," she said softly. "Because, yes, I do. Every time I go to the school, in fact." "I think of him every day, Mari. After all these years...I'm sorry, I shouldn't...your pain was so deep...." "As was yours, my dear Arman. Why be ashamed to share that with me? Don't you think it pleases me to know he is still remembered and loved?" "How could he not be?" Arman said with more force than he meant. "Gods...Mari, if only I hadn't...." Again she made that curious gesture with her hand, and made him stop speaking. "No. This is the only thing that must stop now, Arman. Too many years have passed, too much good has been done in his name, for me to allow you to tarnish your love for him with the stain of unnecessary guilt. I ask this of you. Indeed, I beg it of you. Let it go. Your love for my son is one of the purest things I've ever known, and the happiness I get from knowing he knows how you loved him, knowing he watches over both of us...." She shook her head and smiled, though her eyes were bright with tears. "I know he watches us, Arman. He sees the fine man you are, he sees the work we're doing, he sees the happiness you bring to your father. Don't, I beg you from the depth of our friendship, continue to diminish what you and he shared." "I caused his death, Mari. Words cannot wash that fact away." She sighed. "No, but your interpretation of events does no justice to him or his judgement. If only for my sake, dear Arman, I wish you would finally forgive yourself." "I'm sorry. I do try – Kei has helped me a good deal. It's just today...and leaving you all. I feel I'm deserting you. It's not helping me feel less guilty about anything." She shook her head again. "You and your father share a flaw, did you know?" "I imagine we share several," he said dryly, sorry to see her so saddened by his words.

"Not as many as you think, you know. But both of you have a terrible habit of placing obstacles in the path of your own joy. Now look at you. You're returning to the man who adores you, to a life which you love, to a role which you enjoy greatly. You go with Armis' blessing, and still you fret because you can't be in two places at once. All he wants in his life is the happiness of those he loves, Arman. You and he are exactly the same in that respect. But you forget that we want the same for those we love." "I just...he's getting old. He is old, Mari. And death...Tije is right, you know. Not coming here because of a few vicious old senators is just cowardly." The look on her face suddenly reminded him of Karus and the withering expression his tutor would wear when Arman had said something well below what was expected of someone of his intelligence. "If the situation were that simple, I have no doubt you would have come to Utuk almost every year. Arman, your father knows that. Yes, he – we all –miss you terribly, and unfortunate though it has been for the boy concerned and that poor young man at the embassy, it has been a blessing to have you here. But the time is wrong for you to stay, and you know it." She patted his hand. "Your father is only sixtyfour and vigorous with it. You will see each other again. I will make sure of that." "And if there is a civil uprising? If he contracts a fever and there isn't a decent healer to help him? Mari, I can't protect you up from Darshek." "My dear Arman, you can't protect us here either," she said gently. "We want you here for you, but your father can look after himself, and he has Tijus as well. Unless you plan to actually install Kei in the house, you can't prevent any of us becoming ill. I come from a long-lived family, so does Armis. You have done what a good and dutiful son ought to do – you have made your father proud, given him your love, and let him give you that in return. Go home with his blessing – and with mine." He held onto her hand, quite as sorry at the thought of being parted from her as from any other member of his family. "Will you not marry Father now? Surely your independence doesn't mean so much to you?" She raised an eyebrow at him and looked rather amused. "Matchmaking, Arman?" "He mentioned it, not me."

"Yes he did." She sighed. "The truth is, there's hardly any point. My position is as honourable as one could wish in this society, and neither of us wishes to replace the other's spouse in their heart. We're too old for romance," she added with a slight twinkle in her eye. "Now that's nonsense." "Perhaps, but I am perfectly happy, I assure you. If I thought marrying your father would increase his happiness, I would ask for it and he would agree. But it wouldn't. He merely wants me to be protected, and he had done so most admirably. Go home, Arman, and be with Kei. I know you will miss us, and we will miss you, but you will have us in your heart and that is the most important thing. As it was with Loke." And so they came back to that. "I just...lost him before he could be a man...and I waited so long for my family...." She only looked at him as if to say 'one must make the most of what one has'. "Then let's not waste any more time in regrets. Come inside, Arman and let's make these few hours happy ones, for all our sakes."

Karik hadn't been surprised when Yuko had said the message from Arman had asked that Karik be kept at the embassy. He would have been amazed if Arman had suddenly wanted his presence in his family home. He just wished he would be allowed to return to Darshek without the older man's supervision, but that would cause Arman to lose face, he supposed. One thing he had learned in the past month was how important honour and appearances were to the Prijian nobility. Yuko was very kind to him, and it was a relief to be able to speak freely to people other than Mykis, and in his own tongue. It wasn't that Prijian was difficult, it was just it represented all that repelled him, and Karik felt it would be a long time, if ever, before he could contemplate studying it again. But just because he could speak freely, didn't mean he wanted to talk about the previous few weeks. Yuko had repeated his offer to allow him to speak to his mother – Jena – but Karik didn't want to have that conversation with her through another person. He needed time to collect his thoughts, and he wanted to keep them entirely private.

Yuko's two sons, eight and five, were, as he said, rather noisy and boisterous, but they were so normal and open-hearted that Karik couldn't help but enjoy their company, knowing he did not have to endure it forever. Yuko's wife, Lesa, reminded him a little of Myka, and seeing their family together made him desperately homesick. He missed Gyo too, and wondered if his friend was still upset about everything. Hopefully he and his parents had had the message that Karik was safe now, but Gyo was probably still blaming himself for the whole thing. Karik didn't want him to do that – but the idea of talking to Gyo about the mess of his real family made him cringe. At least Gyo's mother had had the best reason in the world for taking him away from his real father. Nothing Karik could come up with showed Arman to be anything but a scoundrel and a bully, and that just didn't fit with what he knew of the man. Arman's message said that he would come to collect Karik in good time before their boat sailed, which still meant Karik was at liberty most of the day. Part of him was full of raw impatience to get on the ship and be on his way. The rest of him was dreading facing his parents and almost wished that bad weather would blow up, preventing any boats sailing that day. But it was not the season for storms in Utuk, so there was little hope of that. Yuko allowing him access to the library was some distraction. He had missed reading in Darshianese so much, and the embassy library was nearly as wonderful as that of the academy. There was a copy of the book that Kei had given him for his birthday – oh, a lifetime ago it felt like – and its companions. Karik hadn't realised there were eight in a series covering the flora of all Darshian – perhaps Kei had been planning to give him the others for his next few birthdays, it would be the kind of thing he would do. Karik was desperate to read something that wasn't Prijian history or outdated so called 'natural history' that was largely a lot of superstition and folklore. He'd tried to correct the tutor several times over the simplest errors of fact, and had been soundly and painfully reprimanded. It hadn't been worth trying it again. If he followed Kei's suggestion, he could maybe be a part of ending that vast ignorance. Perhaps if he could just...prove himself somehow. So that it didn't matter what colour his hair was, or how badly he stuttered. If.... He stopped himself. Making Arman proud of him was not only futile but pointless. Arman had hated him before Karik could have ever been a disappointment. He leaned his chin on his hand and closed his eyes, trying to understand his feelings, but failing. He loved his parents – Reji and Jena, he amended, since he now had two sets of claimants to that title – and always would do. They were

undoubtedly the most important people in the world to him. He just didn't know if he could ever forget that the two people who'd given him life had found him so unimportant that they had just handed him over to others to raise. He wished he could go back two months, to when he had never known his real mother, or who his father was. When the most important problems in his world were how he could fend off Meran's advances without hurting her feelings, and whether a baby merko would accept food from his hand. He read for a while longer, distracting himself a little from his miserable thoughts until Lesa came to invite him for lunch. Ado claimed him afterwards and wanted to talk about Jena, which was both a pleasure and a torment, but the conversation then turned to recent medical discoveries. Karik told him what he and Kei had discussed in Darshek, which Ado was most interested in. It had been a while since anyone had talked to him as if he was anything but a half-wit and a nuisance, and he couldn't help but enjoy Ado's cheerful company. There was a knock on the open door of Ado's office. It was Yuko. "Karik, Arman's here." "Already? I n-need my pack." "I've got it." Yuko seemed rather hesitant and Karik wondered what was wrong. "Er, it's not just Arman who's come." "My muh-mother?" "Uh, no, lad, I'm afraid not. Arman's father, Senator Armis is with him, as is his brother, Senator Tijus. I thought I better warn you in case you were overwhelmed. Anyway, it's time for you to go." Karik stood and bowed to Ado. "Th-thank you." "No, thank you, Karik. Please give Jena my best wishes. I'm so glad she has a son with such an able and curious mind." Ado ruffled his hair and looked a little sad. "And your hair will grow back soon. Wear your braid with pride when it does, my boy, for you are a true son of Darshian." Karik stared at him, speechless with surprise at the praise. Yuko nodded in agreement. "Well said, Ado. Now come along, Karik, it's time to get you home." Karik felt his stomach tightening up as he walked at Yuko's side up the hallway to the main foyer. He didn't know how Arman would react to seeing him.

There were quite a number of Prij in the foyer – Arman, of course, and two tall men, one much older than the other two, both dressed in the fine and elaborate robes that Mekus also worn, though without the panache of these men. But there were two women and two young children too – who were all these people? "Here he is, finally," Yuko announced cheerfully. "Karik, may I introduce Senator Armis, and his son, Senator Tijus. This lady is Tir Mari, a friend of the family, and this is Sei Temir, Sei Tije and Sei Eren." Karik bowed in the correct manner as he had been taught, and said, in Prijian, "P-pleased to meet you." The old man, Senator Armis, raised an eyebrow, and Arman actually scowled. Karik wondered if he had used the incorrect form of address. "Come here, young man," the senator said, in perfect Darshianese. Karik did so, his heart thumping. This man was so tall, easily as tall as his father – Reji – but with a severe expression and steely blue eyes that were just like Arman's, only colder. "So you are Sei Mayl's child. Tell me, Karik, how do you like Utuk?" Karik glanced at Arman for help, but Arman wasn't offering any. Yuko gave him a smile of encouragement, which was also no help since Karik didn't know what he was being encouraged for. "I've n-not s-seen much, sir. S-Senator." Perhaps he should be calling him 'Grandfather', but something in the man's look made that seem like a really bad idea. "No, I imagine not. But you like Ai-Albon, I fancy." "Yes." "And do you honour your parents, Karik?" "Yes, S-Senator." "Then that is how it should be, my boy." That seemed to be the end of the man's interest in him. "Ambassador Yuko, Tijus and I have come in person to express our gratitude for your help to my son, and to offer sincere condolences on the loss of your colleague. It is my belief that you have advanced the cause of both countries by your assistance in this matter." Yuko bowed. "You are most kind, Senator. Arman is entitled to our help as a citizen of Darshian and as a friend to both our countries. I believe that Karik will, in time, be a friend to both as well."

The man grunted. "That remains to be seen. Now, Arman, unless you have further business, we should go to the docks." "Father, I can take Karik with me now, you don't...." The senator raised his hand. "Arman, this family is going to see you off as I have decreed. Do you have anything else you need to do here?" "No, Father. Yuko," he said, stepping over to the ambassador and clasping his hand, "my sincere thanks. Tell Lesa I'm sorry this time I couldn't come to supper." Yuko embraced him warmly. "My duty and my pleasure, and there'll be another time for supper together. Please look after Kerti when you get back." "You don't need to ask. Do you have his things?" Yuko waved at someone who brought Karik's pack over to him. Yuko brought it over to Karik in person. "There you are, Karik. Safe trip home and when the time is right, I hope you might return under more auspicious circumstances. I may see you again in Darshek." "I hope s-so." "Then off you go, lad." Arman put his hand on Karik's shoulder and led him to the door. So far, he'd not said a word to Karik, and he hardly looked pleased now. The journey home wasn't going to be much fun, Karik suspected.

Chapter 16 One thing that had not changed over Arman's lifetime was the depth of his father's stubbornness, and he didn't know why he had even attempted to dissuade him from dragging not only Tijus but the rest of the family and Mari along, except that it was a silly risk. He knew what his father was up to, of course. He was saying farewell to Arman, certainly, but he was also making a very public statement that Arman was his son, and of the senatorial class. He was poking Mekus in the eye, and Arman really didn't think that was the wisest thing his father could be doing right now. But no one else seemed to have any problem with it, so he kept his counsel. Karik was watching him like he expected Arman to sprout feathers, and hadn't yet said a word to him. Of course Arman's father's little cross-examination would have unnerved a hardier soul than Karik, but the boy seemed to be ill at ease anyway, hardly looking like someone delighted to be on his way back home after an unpleasant exile. The missing braid jarred badly, because Karik looked entirely Prijian without it, an impression reinforced by the halting words spoken to Arman's father. Jena would murder Arman if he handed back a little Prij to her, and he could only hope the changes were truly superficial. Surely not even Mekus could have soiled a child's mind in just a few short weeks? Arman couldn't help feeling resentful of the boy, though he knew it was unfair. So much had been paid, in blood, pain and money for this lad. Karik was at least valuable for the sake of his parents' happiness. As Arman's father had said, only time would tell if there was more to him than that. Arman wasn't inclined to be charitable, at least not right at this moment. Since they would have nine days in each other's company to catch up on news, he ignored the boy and concentrated on his family. This time they were travelling in two calashes – Mari and Arman's father with Arman and Karik in the first, Tijus and his family in the second – and what a little show they were putting on, with the Darshianese soldiers in full uniform following on jesigs. Senators were not seen at the docks every day of the week, certainly not in their finest robes, nor with soldiers bearing the banners of Darshian, guarding them from any unrest. A curious crowd of idlers and dock workers began to followed their slow procession to the actual ship, and by the time the calashes had been brought to a stately halt, there were nearly a hundred people watching – Prijian soldiers, merchants, passengers waiting to board, and other denizens of the harbour side. Arman caught the satisfied glint in his father's eye and had to admire the cunning of the old bastard, as well as his bravery. There were too many witnesses for Mekus to try anything now.

Arman shooed Karik out, then helped Mari and his father descend in regal fashion from the vehicle. Tijus brought his family over, and stood respectfully to one side of his father. "So, Arman, it is farewell for now. Will you accept my blessing?" Arman stared at his father in surprise, but quickly knelt on one knee and bowed his head respectfully. He felt his father's hands rest gently on his hair and heard him speak in a tone which he once used to such effect on the senate floor. "Let those present witness this, the blessing of a father upon his child. This is Arman, of the line of Armis, my son, and my pride. I ask the blessing of Lord Niko, Ruler of the earth and the sky, upon him and his endeavours. I call on Lord Quek, Ruler of the seas, to carry him safely back to our friends in Darshek. May the gods prosper his work and that of his friends." Arman heard the pious affirmations of his family, and a few from the watching crowd, and looked up, his heart full of pride and happiness at this most public acknowledgement of his father's favour, one he had never before received, nor ever hoped to receive. "Your devoted son thanks you, my father, and calls upon the gods to protect you and the glorious state of Kuprij. May she forever prosper." This time the affirmations were louder. "Rise, Arman." He did so, and then his father took his hands. "Have the embassy let us know when you arrive safely." "Yes, of course." "Then until we meet again." Arman bowed again, and his father's grip around his hands tightened before he was released. Mari took his hands in turn. "May the gods bless you and Kei, and may your journey with the boy be a safe one, Arman." "Thank you. And...I will remember what you asked," he added in a low voice. She smiled. "Please do. Farewell, Arman." Tijus, for once, was the picture of decorum, and only shook his hands, though there was an unmistakeable warmth in his eyes and his voice as he loudly called the blessings of the gods upon Arman. Temir curtseyed but her farewell was also heartfelt. Arman knelt down again to take Tije and Eren's hands in his. "Now, this is only for a little while until you next come to Darshek," he said firmly.

"Or you come back to Utuk," Tije said, all his grandparent's stubbornness in his high, childish voice. "Or I come back," Arman agreed. After all, stranger things had happened. "Look after Grandfather and Mari for me, won't you?" "We will, Uncle Arman," Tije promised. "And we will write every week," Eren added. "As and when, my dear. Farewell. Honour your parents as you have done to now." He shouldered his packs, and bowed to his family. "I go, a proud son of the line of Armis," he said loudly. "I entrust you, my family, to the bosom of this nation." "Where we will be safe and honoured," his father said in perfect correctness, raising a hand in final, fond dismissal. Karik was standing with his mouth slightly open. Arman supposed it had all been a bit theatrical for the child and doubtless beyond his language skills, but it had clearly made an impression. The crowd were still watching in respectful silence. "Come on, Karik, we need to get on board." The boy shook himself and followed Arman up the gangplank. Arman turned as they reached the deck and waved down at his family. The children responded enthusiastically, his brother more modestly, and his father merely gestured as if to say 'now be off with you'. Arman had to grin – he had been given a wonderful gift by his family and he would treasure it until the day he died. The captain himself came to meet them, bowing respectfully as if Arman was actually a Ruler, which was entirely unnecessary. "I've prepared a cabin for you. You don't mind sharing, I hope?" "No, that's fine. Yes, Karik?" The boy had been staring rather dazedly down at the dock side. "Um, y-yes." Arman nearly made an impatient remark, then reminded himself that Karik had doubtless had a very hard month. "Then let's get below. Captain?" The cabin was small, as was only to be expected, but there were separate bunk beds. Arman suggested that Karik, being smaller and lighter, take the upper one,

and the boy listlessly agreed. The captain told them that a cabin boy would be available to assist them once they sailed. Arman thanked him and waited for the door to close behind him, then he sat on the chair at the small writing desk. "You must be relieved to be on your way back." Karik jumped, as if he hadn't expected to be spoken to, and then nodded. "Is there something wrong, Karik? You don't seem overjoyed to be leaving Utuk." "I am," he said in a quiet, dull voice which made a liar of his words. His passivity annoyed Arman. "Then perhaps you could show that. I, and more particularly my family and the embassy, were put to a lot of trouble to get you out of Mekus' hands. I had expected you to at least be grateful." Karik's head snapped up at that, and rather to Arman's surprise, his green eyes were narrowed in anger. "Sh-should I be gr-grateful you took me from muh-my mother?" "Your mother? Do you mean that...?" Arman hissed in a breath and bit down on his temper. "Are you telling me you want to stay with Sei Mayl?" "No...n-not now. Wuh-when I was a b-baby. You l-left her and t-took me. Ththen you g-gave me away. Sh-should I th-thank you for that?" Arman stared in astonishment and rising fury at this creature, stammering his way through Mayl's lying accusations. "You have no idea of that which you speak, boy. You don't know the circumstances, and I will thank you not to bring this up to me or anyone else ever again. A man has died, Karik. My family has put itself in the path of a very dangerous man, and a good many people have put themselves to considerable trouble to get you home. You're luckier than you could possibly know that I took you away from Sei Mayl – but if you would rather be back in Mekus' house, I suggest you pick up your pack and walk off this boat before it sails. I will not carry an ungrateful serpent back to Reji and Jena to nurture." Karik's nostrils flared, and his cheeks grew red. "Y-you left her. For K-Kei." Arman nearly struck him then. "I did no such thing, and if you ever say that again, I will throw you off this boat myself. Make your mind up, Karik. Stay or go, but don't ever repeat Mayl's filth to me or to Kei. If you value her over your mother, then get out now, and stop wasting my time and my patience." Karik just stood there, his fists clenching and unclenching. "Well, are you going?" "No."

"Fine. Then stop speaking of matters you don't understand. After the time I've had, I'm in no mind to put up with it." He stalked out of the cabin, slamming the door behind him. If he knew that there was more accommodation on this boat, he would ask for another cabin but it was clear they had had to rearrange things just to clear a decent space for the two of them. He walked quickly up on deck, trying to get his temper back. Being attacked by Karik in that way was rather like suddenly being savaged by a pet hisk – the boy was normally so quiet and timid, but clearly a month of being fed lies by Mekus and Mayl had given him some balls. Not quite the improvement his parents would be looking for, from having sent their son out on his great adventure. He stood at the rail, staring down at the sailors still loading the ship. His family and the crowd had gone, of course. Arman hoped his father's act would not have dire consequences for the family. He slammed the rail with his fist – to have lost Urso, for his father to have risked so much, and to have it flung back in his face like that.... To think he had ever regretted giving him up to Jena. Oh, he would be glad to see the back of that boy and the end of this matter.

Seeking Home

Copyright © 2005 Ann Somerville http://logophilos.net/

Chapter 1 Karik's legs collapsed under him as Arman stormed out, and he had to sit down on the bunk, his fist against his mouth to stop himself throwing up. Had he really just said all that to one of the most important men in Darshian? To uncle Kei's lover? He had never been that rude in his life. But he had been so angry...and so had Arman. Gods, what should he do now? Trying to talk to Arman about it would probably just end up with him storming out again – or worse. Karik had seen how he'd had to restrain his fists, and knowing Arman was capable of killing made it entirely credible that he might have harmed Karik for his insolence. He had achieved nothing – no explanation, no apology, no acceptance. Arman was now more distant than ever, but then this rejection hardly hurt more than what he had already done. The boat had not yet sailed and for a few desperate moments, Karik almost considered doing as Arman suggested, just because he didn't know if he could face the voyage with Arman's hostility, and then his parents' kind but unknowing sympathy. But he didn't want to be in Utuk, he didn't want to be Prijian, so all he could do was as he had done for four weeks – and the whole of his life, really – and endure. Would it all be better when he got back to the village? Right now it was hard to think it ever would be, but the alternative was no alternative. He discovered he was shaking, and gripped his arms to try and get some control back. Nine days to Darshek. Several weeks after that before he got back to AiAlbon. He couldn't fall apart now. There was just too long to go before he was safe.

The trip was nearly as painful and lonely as the time he'd spent confined at Mekus' home. Arman treated him with an icy courtesy which left Karik with no doubt that his father despised him, and robbed him of the courage to confront the man again. That didn't prevent Karik now feeling a constant anger, a continuous outrage at Arman for his high-handedness. He wasn't a child – Arman had no right to forbid him to say or think anything. But every time he tried to say this, his tongue refused to cooperate, and Arman gave him no opportunity for civil conversation. From the moment he woke to last thing at night, Arman left the cabin, spending some time on deck, Karik knew, because he saw him often,

either sitting staring out at the surging ocean or talking to the sailors. He left Karik strictly alone. That didn't mean he was abandoned – the young cabin boy made sure he got his meals, knew where to find things and what to do in bad weather. But to Arman, Karik was just an unwanted piece of cabin furniture. Angry as he was at the man, Karik couldn't help but also wonder how this would affect his relations with Kei, his parents, even the village. Arman was well-loved and well-respected, friend to many people Karik personally liked and who were important to him. He had an uneasy suspicion that Arman's animosity would make his own difficult position even worse – and he couldn't imagine Kei would still want him at the academy. Arman's opinion would carry more weight with Kei than Karik's did – it would only be natural. So the bright future Kei had painted for him was now to be an unreachable dream. If he was lucky, his father would still let him be a trader. More likely, he would end up stuck in the village doing odd jobs for whoever wanted them, like Lori did. But Lori was tall and strong – and Darshianese. Karik couldn't even offer that to people. Even the prospect of returning to his parents couldn't cheer him, and his mood became darker with every mile closer to home. Gero, the cabin boy, began to worry about him, and had timidly asked if there was anything he could do. Karik had roused himself out of his black depression long enough to reassure the lad, but had then sunk back into introspection. Like Arman, he spent a lot of time on deck, at least when it was fine. When it rained, or became dangerously stormy, he could only hide in the cabin. Arman went elsewhere – of course he never said where. After eight days, the rising excitement in the crew told him they were approaching Darshek. Of course – they were less than a day from being home. Karik didn't know how he was to get home, or even when. He had no idea what had happened to his things – his birthday gifts had not been in the pack that Arman had brought down, and Karik didn't know if Gyo had taken them home, or if they were still at Kei's house. He felt like he was of no importance to any of the people making decisions about his life, and it only made him more angry. The ship had been hugging the coast all that last day, and finally Karik could see the huge cannons that defended Darshek Harbour. He went down to the cabin to collect his things, and brought his packs up to the deck. He was almost of a mind to just walk off once they had docked, but he knew that was not only impractical, but ridiculous. He came back on deck, staying out of the way of the sailors who were now heavily occupied trimming sails and working the ship up the long harbour. "We'll be in dock in an hour. Are you happy now, Karik?"

He looked around. Gero was staring up at him with a worried, hopeful expression. "N-not really." "I'm sorry. Do you hate your home so much?" "N-no. I love it." "Then what's wrong? Did you leave someone behind in Utuk that you miss?" "No." Now the boy had pointed it out, his depression did seem unreasonable. But yet he still felt so sad, so hopeless. "Wuh-where is your h-home?" "On the ship. The first mate's my father. My Ma died two years ago." Like Jembis, Karik thought. He hadn't thought of the other boy in weeks, and now wondered how he was getting on. "D-do you like the sh-ship?" "Mostly. It gets boring, but then I like being in Utuk, I have friends there." "Fr-friends? P-Prijian friends?" Gero gave him a strange look. "Of course. Why is that wrong, Karik? You're Prijian and I like you." "I'm n-not Prijian," he snapped, and Gero cringed. "S-sorry. I...wuh-was born there. But I'm n-not." "Well, then you must be both Prijian and Darshianese. You can't change who you were born to be, that makes no sense." One of the sailors called to Gero then and he hurried away with a quick apology, leaving Karik to ponder his words. In his heart, he felt himself to be Darshianese. But to everyone who saw him, he was just another Prij. Would he be happier if he stopped pretending being something he wasn't? But he had had a taste of living like a Prij and had hated it. How much of that was peculiar to being in that house, and how much was the culture itself, he didn't know and didn't want to repeat the experiment to discover. He leaned on the rail and put his head in his hands. He wanted to talk to his father. Reji had a way of making things clear that Karik had often relied on, and an inner calmness that he had tried very hard to emulate. But could his father – Reji – understand what Karik was feeling? The only person Karik knew of in the same situation was himself. Well, except Arman, and Arman's position in

Darshian was entirely different. Arman seemed to be able to be that oddity, a Darshianese Prij, without the slightest conflict. But Karik had no Kei or Lord Meki to smooth his way. He was told to stay away from the rail by a passing sailor, in case he was knocked into the harbour by the force of docking. The docks seemed as busy as that fateful day when he had innocently followed Jembis to see some baby animals. What a naïve fool he had been to have done that, he thought, but who could have foreseen such a thing? Even now, he couldn't believe Jembis had done it, though he had long since forgiven the boy for the trick. Such a silly thing to have had such awful consequences. He remembered again about Urso, and thought perhaps a little – just a little – of Arman's hostility was justified. But he hadn't even known Urso had died. The ship docked, but still no one came near him for some time. The sailors began the business of unloading, navvies walking from the dockside to assist. Men were shouting everywhere, and he saw beasts pulling wagons to the dockside, ready to receive the cargo. "Come along, Karik." He turned. Arman was standing with an impatient look on his face, packs in his hand. Karik hoisted his own and as soon as he did, Arman moved towards the gangplank. "Wuh-where are we going?" "Home, of course. You're going back to your village, where I sincerely hope you will remain until you learn some sense." Karik stopped, and glared. "I d-did nothing wrong." "I refuse to argue with you about this in public. Move, or I'll have you carried off the boat." Karik very nearly told him to go ahead, but there was a forbidding look in Arman's eye that warned Karik he was entirely serious. He followed Arman down the gangplank, and trudged along behind him a half mile or so, not sure where they were going. To his surprise, it seemed they were headed to an army barracks where Arman was well-known, judging by the many greetings he was receiving. Karik could only follow, since he wasn't being given any explanations at all. "Arman! Gods, man, is that you?"

"It is. Tiko, did you get the message we were on our way back?" The person who had greeted Arman was a short, stocky, grey-haired man with a wide smile and intelligent eyes set in a weathered face. He was wearing a uniform, but Karik had no idea of ranks. "Yes, we did. So this is Karik?" Arman gave a dismissive flick of his head. "Yes. Tiko, I want him taken back straight away. His parents will want him home as fast as we can manage it." "I can line up people for tomorrow...." "No, now, Tiko." Tiko frowned. "Didn't you just get off the ship? Don't you want to give the boy a night to catch his breath?" "He's been sitting on his arse for over a month and his parents are crazed with worry. No, he's not going back to the house, unless you have no one to take him." "Let me check, you've caught me on the hop. Karik, are you ready and fit to travel?" Karik could only nod. Though he still felt as if the ground was rocking under his feet, the idea of going back with Arman to be treated with more disdain was repellent. "Right, then let me ask. Just wait, I won't be long." Arman thanked him, then stared off into the distance, looking anywhere but at Karik. Karik almost laughed. He looked just like Keiji did when he was arguing with his sister. It wasn't really funny, but Arman was behaving in a rather childish way, and Karik was no longer afraid to think that, even if he couldn't say it. True to his word, Tiko was back in minutes. "I've got two lads who can run a cart within the hour back to the village. Do his parents know he's on his way?" "Not yet, but if you could deal with that through your mind-speaker I'd be grateful. Oh, tell him to ask Neka not to tell Kei I'm back – I want to surprise him." "Surprise him – you'll melt his brain," Tiko said with a chuckle. "The man's been hopeless while you've been away." "I'm sure he hasn't. So, I'll leave Karik in your hands. Make sure your men take him home, Tiko. I don't want to go through this again, if you please."

"No, I'm sure. Arman, why the haste? A day won't matter to Jena and Reji if they know the boy is safe." Arman pressed his lips together in annoyance. "I've done my bit, Tiko, and I just want to get on with my life. Please get him back home." Tiko shrugged. "As you wish. Come on, Karik." He took Karik's arm as Arman began to stalk off without a backwards glance. Karik shrugged the hand off – he was sick of being pulled and pushed around – and walked towards Arman. "G-goodbye, Father," he said in a low, clear voice that only Arman could have heard. Arman stopped. His back went stiff, and Karik was sure he was about to turn and speak to him. But then he began to walk off once more, and the moment was gone. Coward, Karik thought angrily, then let Tiko tow him away. He had lost his last chance to resolve things with Arman. Perhaps he should now just concentrate on not caring about the man at all.

Arman could have easily got a lift back to the academy, but he needed to walk off his temper. That damn brat, impudent to the end. If Mekus could change a boy in such a short time, then Arman had been entirely vindicated in taking the baby away from his and Mayl's care. Good riddance to the boy, he thought angrily. He'd cost too much for what he was, and if Reji and Jena weren't so important to Arman and Kei both, Arman would have thrown him off that boat himself. Yet, even in his anger, he was aware he was being exaggerated, irrational, in his reactions. He strove to get his emotions under control before his soul-touching lover could feel them. It was the reason he hadn't wanted Tiko to forewarn Kei – if he couldn't calm down, he would just keep walking until he did. Why did this child, not his blood, not his concern, affect him so badly? Why had his accusations hurt as if he had been stabbed? He couldn't understand it, couldn't articulate it even to himself. It was like all his understanding of human beings became as nothing when he faced Karik.

The boy was angry with him, and again, to be scrupulous, had a right to be. But even acknowledging that made Arman's heart burn with turbulent emotions he couldn't even put a name to. This was no good. He was but a mile from the academy and he was as angry and ready to snap as he had been an hour ago. He walked down to the harbour-side, and sat on one of the civic benches, staring out at the water, his head in his hands. He had to stop this. He was just a few minutes from being back with the man he loved. Every minute sitting here getting worked up was another minute away from Kei. At last, his heart stopped pounding unpleasantly, and he could unclench his fists. It would take him fifteen minutes to walk to the academy. If he concentrated on what it would be like to see Kei again, he would be all right. He had calmed a little by the time he reached the big white building on the shorefront, and he couldn't resist running up the academy's steps, only stopping for the barest time needed for courtesy to acknowledge the happy greetings from the clerks and to find out where Kei was. Then he dashed up the two narrow staircases to his lover's office and threw the door open, not even stopping to think that Kei might not be alone. Fortunately he was. "Arman!" The pencil Kei was holding fell from his fingers. Arman swore later he hadn't even seen Kei move before he suddenly had an armful of laughing, almost crying man who pushed him against the wall and crushed hungry lips against his mouth. Kei's hands were everywhere, his body pressed hard against Arman's, while Arman's hands were busy trying to get under Kei's jerkin and shirt, to the bare, warm skin that he had missed so much. Some time later – he was never to be sure just how long – he ended up sitting against the wall with Kei against him, stroking Kei's braid and kissing his temple. "Gods, never let me go through that again." "If the gods had such powers, I would pray for that too," Kei murmured. "Where's Karik?" "On his way back. I left him with Tiko who's arranged it all." Kei pulled back and frowned at him. "Why didn't you bring him to the house? The poor lad must have been in need of a little rest."

"That poor lad was more in need of being sent home to his parents who are rightly worried about him. He's caused me a good deal of trouble, Kei. If you don't mind, I don't want to talk about him." Kei's frown intensified, and he climbed off Arman and got to his feet, dusting his pants off. Arman stood up too, hoping Kei wouldn't press this. "Did you even let Jena know?" "Tiko's mind-speaker was asked to. What possible point is there in keeping the child here when he needs to be on his way?" "I just thought he might like a night to get his bearings, that's all. He's been through an ordeal." "We've all been through an ordeal, and since it's a direct result of his actions, I see no reason to pander to him further." Kei blinked. "Gods, you're really angry at him, aren't you?" "I'll be even angrier if my homecoming has to be spent talking about this any more than I have to." "Have you sent him on his way in this temper? Why, Arman? Karik's done nothing wrong...." "So you say, but not only did his loose tongue lead to this mess, he seems to have eagerly devoured the worst lies that Mayl and Mekus have spewed, and is more than happy to spread those around as well." He could feel his blood beginning to pound and he rubbed at his temples. "Can't you drop it? The boy is in perfect health, he's in good hands, I've done my best for him and so has everyone else. I'm just pissing tired of this mess, can't you see that?" Kei frowned at him. "Yes, I can, but I wish you had brought Karik back for the night. Letting him go home with this between you was wrong, and not very kind either. You haven't given him a chance to even talk about what they told him, and it could be easily explained." "I refuse to defend myself against such spurious accusations." "But you're happy to look like a bully instead?" If it had been anyone but Kei saying this, Arman would have walked out in disgust, but Kei's tone was still mild. With difficulty, he held onto his temper.

"Kei, please – Karik's injured feelings are really the least important thing, don't you think? He's safe, he's going home, Reji and Jena have their boy back, and really, considering how badly this could have gone for them, I'd just like a little appreciation of the efforts my father and I have gone to. Yes, perhaps I was unfair to him, but he was being provocative. I don't like rudeness, as you well know." "No, I know, and I know you've done a good thing. I suppose there's no permanent harm, though I wish you'd not been so hasty, that's all." Kei shook his head ruefully and sighed. "I have to teach in a few minutes. Have you been to see Lord Meki?" "You really think I would see him before you? I have been gone too long." Kei smiled. "You certainly have. Forget the question, my head's still whirling from the joy of you being right here instead of a thousand miles away." He kissed Arman again, and Arman let the familiar taste of him wash away his residual anger. If Kei could let the thing go, Arman might be capable of discussing it more calmly later. Much later. "You said you have to teach?" Arman murmured. "Yes, damn it." Kei rested his cheek against Arman's, reminding Arman that he needed to shave. "Why don't you go see Meki? I know it'll do him good, and I can come meet you there so we can walk home together. I'll only be an hour or so." "Mmmm, an hour seems a long time to me right now," he said, and Kei smiled. "But as you say. How is he?" "Much better since we got your news. I think if you'd really stayed for two years, it would have been the end of him. He was furious with you, you realise, when you said you were staying." "Yes, he made that quite clear," Arman said dryly. "But what choice did I have? What honourable choice?" "At that point, none. It's just a miracle that Mekus decided to drop the case." Arman pulled back. "What? Is that what Yuko said?"

Kei frowned in puzzlement. "He said it had been settled. He didn't give us any details, and at that point, I didn't care just so long as you and Karik were coming home safe to us. Why are you so cross?" "Mekus didn't settle, Kei. My father paid a fortune to buy them off – against, I have to say, my direct wishes. My brother bore some of the cost too. I wasn't pleased with them, though their motives were admirable." "Oh...I didn't know." Kei shook his head. "Stupid of me, really. Mekus wasn’t going to just let you slip away that easily, was he?" "No, he wasn't. He managed to put everyone to a good deal of trouble, got Urso killed, robbed my niece and nephew of what was rightfully theirs, and infected that boy...." He took a deep breath and gritted his teeth. "I am not talking about this, Kei. For pity's sake, leave it be." "As you wish," Kei said gently, laying his hand over Arman's heart. Arman began to feel his anger leaching away, and he realised what Kei was doing. He put his hand over Kei's. "Don't, you've had your own troubles." Kei drew a breath, and then stopped whatever he was doing. It had been enough, though. Arman felt much calmer. "You really need to learn how to not get so worked up, my love." He leaned forward and kissed Arman's cheek. "Go on to the Rulers' House. I'll find you in Lord Meki's office or your own. I better let Pira know you're coming or she'll faint with shock." "You were expecting me, surely." "Arman, after the month we've had, we expected nothing. Welcome back. I believe I neglected to say that," he added with a teasing smile. "I think I got the general impression. See you soon." At the Rulers' House, he took the precaution of asking a clerk to let Lord Meki know he was back so that the older man didn't have a heart attack from shock. The clerk returned in moments and almost dragged Arman along to see his superior immediately. The Ruler stood as he came into the room. "Arman. By all the gods, I didn't really think we would see you again so soon." Lord Meki held his hand out in greeting, something he rarely did, and Arman shook it gratefully, though he was shocked at how tired and grey the man looked.

"And just as well I did come back, Meki. What have you been doing to yourself?" "Now don't scold, I've had that young man of yours at me too. I've been resting, I promise you, but the work still needs to be done, you know that. The reports from Utuk are worrying me. We need to prepare for the collapse of the civil order in that country, and I'm not sure we're ready." "The collapse isn't as imminent as you think, though I think it's well to prepare." He took a seat as Lord Meki indicated. "But nothing is gained by you working yourself to death." "I'm glad you feel that way, because I took the liberty, once we heard you were coming back, of sending preliminary notices out to the clans regarding your nomination." Arman raised an eyebrow. "And if the ship had sunk?" "We would have mourned deeply," Lord Meki said, with a welcome twinkle in his tired eyes. "I only delayed lest the Prij use it against you. Now, I'm only too happy to poke them with your nomination." "You and my father have a lot in common, do you realise?" The Ruler asked for an explanation, and though he smiled to learn of Arman's parent's obstinacy, he agreed the man had been a tad reckless. "But he knows the temperature of the situation better than me, and probably you. What would happen if Kita were deposed?" "Mekus would push for himself or his son to be regent for her daughter. But he could only do that if he had support. He hasn't got the army, nor all of the senate, though my brother says it's always difficult to tell with the way alliances shift. The old families loathe his guts. The newer senators are more in his debt. The populace seem willing to let him use their pent-up anger for his own purposes. I think the fact my father got away with the things he did, indicates that Mekus knows his position isn't by any means secure. I am naturally anxious for that situation to continue." Lord Meki grunted in agreement. "You and Peika need to talk and soon. I think it only fair to warn you that if your nomination is accepted, one of your first duties will be to travel to Andon to look at their defences and advise them. It could be for a month or more. Kei won't be pleased."

"Kei already knows it's possible. I don't think either of us will like it, but it's not the same as being trapped in Utuk without the option of returning for years. Anyway, I just got back, I don't want to talk of something that may not happen. I'm still not convinced the villages will even consider my nomination, let alone agree to it." "We'll see," Lord Meki, looking rather smug. "What about that boy? I thought he would be with you." Arman strove to keep a pleasant smile on his face. "I thought it best to send him home as soon as I could. Captain Tiko's got it in hand – Karik should be home within two weeks, and I hope that puts an end to it all." "You've had a difficult time of it, no doubt. Kei's had a worse one, though. I wondered who was at more risk of dying from a heart attack at times, me or him." "Oh?" Arman frowned. "When I spoke to him, he seemed to be coping as well as I would expect from someone of his intelligence." "Intelligence be damned. If you ever think you might have to spend so much time away from him, find a way for him to join you. None of us want to see him wither away." "I was trying to keep him safe," Arman replied, somewhat stung. "And you needed him...." "Not as much as he needs you," the Ruler said sternly. "Take my advice, Arman. Don't keep him from you like that ever again. It's not worth it. Nothing is worth it, not even me." "As you wish it, Meki," Arman said, not wanting to argue with the man. "Shall we find Lord Peika?"

He was in his office, looking through his piled up mail, and the sun was dipping low over the horizon before Kei arrived, out of breath and apologetic. "Sorry, sorry, I got trapped by our new teachers and I couldn't just push them off. Can we go home now?"

He sounded like a child anxious for his birthday present. Arman grinned at him and rose immediately to get his packs. Kei shouldered one, and they walked hand in hand along the sea front back to the house, only just enough light left in the sky to see where they were going. "Meki looks terrible," Arman said, keeping his voice low in deference to the other people on their path. "Yes, he does. I won't lose him, Arman. Not like this." Arman squeezed Kei's hand in response to his fierce tone. "He seems more worried about you than himself. Gave me quite the lecture about abandoning you. You know I thought it was the best thing to do, don't you?" "Of course." Kei stopped and forced him to swing around to face him. "Look, I'm not going to say it was easy or pleasant, or that I got all that much sleep before we heard you were coming back. But I would have survived, you know that. I've been through worse, you know that too." "Yes, I know," Arman murmured, holding Kei close to him, "and I was responsible for that too. I wished I'd had you there. I needed your advice. I could have done with your calm wisdom." There was a rueful-sounding chuckle next to his ear. "You wouldn't have thought me calm if you'd seen me after I thought you were really going to stay down there. There was some tantrum in my office, I assure you." "I can imagine. Meki wants me to promise I won't ever think of doing that again – of course, this is just after he blithely tells me if I become a Ruler, I'll be shipped to Andon for a month. I can't promise it, Kei. I just hope those circumstances never arise again, but there are things more important than our individual happiness." "Yes, I do know that. I knew that when I agreed to be a hostage, and I knew it when you told me your plans. Meki does not dictate to you and me as a couple. Ever. And if, fate forbid, you are in such circumstances again, I trust you to do the best you can. You can trust me to accept it. If you will allow a tantrum or two," he added with a wry smile. His eyes showed how much that acceptance had cost him, and Arman could see now why Meki had been so insistent. But at the same time, Kei was no weakling. He had endured worse than Arman ever had, and had come through it with grace and courage every time. "Throw all the tantrums you need, Kei, but let's just hope nothing will part us in the future. Meki's not the only one whose heart can't take the strain."

Chapter 2 Tiko gave Karik a funny look after Arman walked away from them out of the barracks. "Oh, lad, you've haven't gone and annoyed our Ruler-to-be, have you?" "Huh?" Karik was so caught up in his anger, he had to take a few seconds to work out what Tiko had actually said. "R-Ruler?" "Not yet, but if Lord Meki gets his way.... Did you have an argument with Arman?" "N-not exactly. Wuh-when can I g-go?" "Just as soon as my men get the supplies from the quartermaster and the beasts hitched to the cart." Tiko looked him up and down, then held out his hand for Karik to shake. "Sorry about Arman, he can be a real bastard when his nose is out of joint, although he's a decent enough human being if you can get past the attitude. You know, I last saw you when you were six weeks old. You've grown a bit since then," he said with a smile. "What happened to your braid?" "C-cut it." "Oh. Was it bad, Karik? I know you were tricked into going – I was sorry to hear about it. If something like that had happened to my grandson, I'd have been frantic. I know your friends were, and your parents." "It wuh-was...." He clenched his fists. "I d-don't...." What could he say? How could he begin to describe his feelings? "I...." But he just couldn't find the words. "It's all right, lad, I can see it must have been upsetting," Tiko said, a gentleness in a voice that was clearly not used to speaking that way. "I'd take you home myself, but I know I can't be spared right now. To be honest, this late in the day, I think it's a bit hard to make you start the journey." He put his finger to his lips in a conspiratorial manner. "Tell you what," he said. "How about you come stay with the wife and me tonight and we get you away at dawn. Arman won't know, and you'll be fresher. There's no need to make you suffer for his bad temper. Would you like that? My wife's a wonderful cook." Karik was torn between wanting to be on his way, and accepting the undeniable wisdom of Tiko's words, but finally he nodded. "Th-thank you." "No problem at all, lad. Let me tell Pek and Mita to stand down, and to come to my house before dawn. I think Kei won't be pleased with Arman about him

doing this, but at least we'll make you welcome. What Arman doesn't know, won't choke him, eh?" Yet again, Karik was amazed that people who barely knew him were prepared to be nicer to him than his blood relatives. But he liked Tiko instinctively, and he already knew Kei trusted him completely, so there was no risk. He was just tired from the long journey and the cramped conditions and Arman's constant hostility. A night in undemanding company might help him make sense of everything. Then again, he suspected it might take a good deal longer than that.

It was raining as dawn broke, and chilly with it, so he was glad to have his new coat. At least everything he had brought with him on the trip that he would need for the return, had been packed for him. After the weeks of humid heat in Utuk, the colder weather was welcome, though if the rain continued, it was going to make their travel slower and unpleasant, if not outright dangerous on the mountains. Pek and Mita turned out to be young soldiers only a few years older than Karik, cheerful and competent at their tasks. They set a smart pace, Mita driving the small cart which held the tent, food and bedrolls, Pek following alongside on another beast. To his regret, Karik was going to be a useless passenger on this journey, which did nothing to cheer him or help him shed the sense of being unwanted baggage in too many people's lives. His companions were amiable enough, and glad to get away from the barracks, but Karik had little or nothing in common with them. His stutter discouraged them from chatting much to him directly, though he wasn't excluded from their own, somewhat banal conversation. Both were from Darshek, best friends from childhood and the sons of soldiers, so it had been all they had ever been interested in. His Prijian identity and the professions of his parents caught their attention for a little while, but talks around the campfire tended to centre on beasts, officers, weapon work and their girlfriends. Karik, being only able to talk with any authority on one of those topics, just nodded and made acceptable noises as the two friends talked enthusiastically about things in which he had not the slightest interest. He wished he had his journal to write in, but that, like his birthday gifts, had not been in his pack. He would find out what had happened to them when he got home, he supposed. The wet weather died away as they reached the top of the Kislik range, but the dryer air was also much colder, making them hunch into their coats, and adding a spring to the step of the beasts, since they much preferred the cold. They reached

Ai-Kislik in four days, and much to Karik's chagrin, Edi and the other traders were there. The looks he got on account of his missing braid, and the whispered comments that he could, unfortunately, hear quite well, made him want to jump on one of the beasts and head off on his own. Instead he gritted his teeth and endured the curiosity and the stares, and the questions that were in everyone's eyes but never spoken. It made him realise how much Risa and Misek had protected him the first time he'd passed through this village. Pek and Mita were thoroughly enjoying themselves, since they had never been further on their own than the Kislik Range before. Karik found them tiring at times, and missed Gyo's rather more intelligent conversation. He felt more homesick than ever, and wished himself home now, instead of being more than a week away. Two days out of Kislik, camped for their noon day meal, he noticed a rising cloud of dust. Someone was riding along the road towards Darshek. They had been passed by a couple of carts a day, and once or twice by people on beasts. Karik paid no more attention to it, as he drank his tea and listened to Pek praise his camp bread, something he did at every meal as if the man had never eaten decent fire-baked bread in his life. Pek wasn't that bright, but he was very wellmannered, so Karik found it hard to be annoyed at him for being a little on the repetitive side. He supposed it would actually be an advantage to be less than imaginative if one was to be a soldier. It was his idea of a hell, but then the army wouldn't want someone the wrong colour and entirely too small for a real fight. He could see the cart now, and the man was waving at them. He squinted – and then got up, his mug of tea forgotten in his hands. "Pa?" "Karik!" Pek took the mug from Karik, or he would have dropped it. "Pa!" He began to run as the cart was brought to a halt. His father leapt from the driving seat, and also began to run. He stopped short to let Karik run into his outstretched arms, and then hugged Karik with a crushing strength. "Oh, Karik, oh, gods. You're really safe." Karik couldn't speak for joy and relief, and found he was weeping suddenly, his face buried in his father's broad chest. At no point in the last five weeks had he felt so safe, or welcome. His father was happy to hold him as long as Karik wanted, rubbing his back and murmuring words of comfort, easing the deep ache in Karik's heart that he had

held tight for so long. But finally Karik recalled they weren't alone, and pushed away, sniffling. His Pa kept an obviously protective hand on his shoulder, as if he was afraid Karik would be taken from him. "I'm going to take you home, Karik. Let's get your pack." They walked over to the soldiers, who had obviously decided to wait and see what was going on. "I'm Reji of Ai-Albon," Pa said in a voice that brooked no dispute. "I've come to get my son. If we can have his things, you lads can head back to Darshek." Pek looked at Mita, who frowned. "I'm sorry, but our orders from Captain Tiko are to take him home. That's what Arman wanted." Pa took a step forward, and Karik was amazed to see the anger in his father's eyes. "Pissing Arman is not going to tell me what is happening with my boy, do you hear? Karik is my responsibility, not yours, and I'm not having him brought back home under guard. I thank you for looking after him, but he's not your concern any longer." Mita seemed taken aback, and after an exchange of glances with his younger companion, made his decision. "All right, but if Tiko complains, I'm sending the complaint your way." "If Tiko complains, I'll be happy to deal with him. The man's a father, he'll understand. Now, can we have Karik's things, please? Karik?" Karik ran over to the cart, only too happy to relinquish the soldiers' company for that of his father. He brought his pack over, and his father nodded. "Have you had your meal? Then we'll be off. Thank you, lads. I'll make sure Tiko knows what I asked. You won't suffer, I'll see to that. Tiko knows me, don't worry." That seemed to help, and the two soldiers said farewell without too much sign of sorrow. Pa loaded up the cart and turned it around without the least delay, and got the beasts moving at a good clip. Karik noticed it was Pa's fastest vehicle, and if he kept up this speed, it looked like they would be getting back to AiAlbon at pretty much a record rate. But it wasn't sensible to ride the beasts that hard, not when there were just the two and no back up animals, so Karik wasn't surprised when his father slowed the animals down to an easy trot. "Sorry, son, I just wanted to put some distance between us and them in case they changed their mind. I guess I was being a little foolish, but it's been a tough few weeks." He put his arm around Karik's shoulder and risked a quick glance at him. "They cut your hair."

"No, I c-cut it." His father glanced at him again, but there was no accusation in his eyes, just surprise. "I didn't wuh-want them to t-touch it. So I d-did it mysself." Pa ruffled his hair as if to say he understood. "Karik, if you knew how much we missed you...." He reached into his pocket and drew something out – the tero stone on the hair cord. He looped it over Karik's head, then pulled him into a tight one-armed hug. "Welcome back, my son." Karik felt his eyes get tight and itchy, and knew he would cry again if he wasn't careful, so he rubbed his nose furiously with one hand, while the other tightly clutched his precious gift. "You're n-not mad at m-me?" "Not at you, Karik. Not at all. There are a few people whose backsides I would like to kick from one end of Darshian to the other, but you're not one of them. Gyo explained everything – he's pretty upset for landing you in that mess." "N-not his fault. J-Jembis played a tr-rick. B-but he tried to huh-help." He explained what had happened in Mekus' office. "He's just l-lonely." "Lonely or not, it was a damn stupid thing to do," his Pa said in a fierce tone. "But I'm sorry to hear the boy is being hurt by his father – that's not right. No parent should do such a thing." Karik looked down at those words and thought of Arman. His mood didn't go unnoticed by his father's sharp eyes. "Karik?" "N-nothing, Pa." "Yes, I bet. You don't need to talk about it, not if you don't want to. All that matters is that you're safe. I think you took twenty years off my life, and Jena swears she's got ten more grey hairs." His words were light, but there was a slight wobble in his voice. When Karik looked up, he was amazed to see tears in his father's eyes. "I'm sorry, Pa," he whispered, moving closer on the driving seat. His Pa just kept a firm hold on him as they drove, not speaking, but showing with his embrace that it would be fine if Karik wanted to tell him anything. They were only a day out of Ai-Beyto, but even with the speed his father was making, they couldn't reach that village before nightfall. To Karik's relief, his Pa didn't stop at the large campsite near a main waterhole, but at a smaller one four miles further one down the road, where a small spring rose among the rocks,

providing shelter and protection for them and their animals. "This is one of my favourite places to stop," Pa said, as he used the cart to block the entrance to the rocky enclosure – a natural stockade. "But you can't use it for more than a small cart and a couple of beasts, more's the pity. Get the fire started, son, I'll pitch the tent. At least neither of us will have to sit watch tonight." Karik set up the wood and kindling that his father had collected on his journey to Kislik, and then it took just a moment to set it going. A pair of fire sprites gave them all the extra light they needed. Supper was just dried jombeker meat, nuts and some camp bread, washed down with strong tea – it was the most pleasant meal Karik had had in weeks. He and his father chewed in companionable silence. Karik could tell he was being given space and time, and appreciated it. "P-Prijian food's huh-horrible," he said, taking a good slurp of the tea. He never thought he would miss good old ordinary tea. "Yes, so Kei said. Reckons it's too rich – at least what the nobility eats is. I suppose that's what they were feeding you?" Just a gentle question which Karik could just answer with a nod, or expand upon, as he chose. "I h-hated it, Pa. I m-missed you so much." His eyes were getting full again, and he put his food down as an unwanted tear rolled down his face. His Pa put a hand on his shoulder and rubbed it. "I know, son. Did Arman tell you we were all set to come down to Utuk to live with you and him for two years, until you turned eighteen? That was until we got the news it had all been settled. We wouldn't have let you be trapped down there. Even if you were at Mekus' house, we were planning to come down and see if we could somehow get to see you." Karik sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve. His father handed him a handkerchief to use, murmuring that his Ma would appreciate him not ruining the new coat. "I d-didn't know anything. Ah-Arman...Ah-Arman didn't...." He hung his head, unable to continue, even to his father – and with him right here, there was no doubt in Karik's mind who his true father was. "Yuko said no one was allowed to see you. Mekus didn't give you any news?" Karik shook his head. "Ah. Well, at one point, it looked like the only way of getting you away from them was for Arman to agree to raise you in Utuk at his father's house. Your mother and I were going to come down and work in Utuk." He smiled. "In a funny way, I was almost looking forward to it, so long as we would all be together."

"Pa...did you kn-know Ah-Arman is my fuh-father?" His father straightened up, and his surprise was obvious. "No...I didn't. Who told you he was?" "M-Mekus and my mo...Mayl. Th-then Ah-Arman didn't d-deny it." "Right." His Pa stared into the fire for long moments, and Karik couldn't tell at all what he was thinking. "That's not what I thought the situation was at all. It makes no difference to me, but I can see how it might to you." "Wh-who did you th-think my fuh-father was?" His Pa put his hand back on Karik's shoulder. "Not Arman, that's for sure. But look, Karik, it doesn't matter. You're my son, and your Ma's. Nothing else is really important, trust me." "B-But why did he g-give me away? He took me f-from her and g-gave me away." "Son, all I know is that at the time, Arman said he had good reason to believe you would not be cared for properly by her. The reasons he gave for not raising you himself...I believed them to be good ones. I believe he thought they were good ones too. Maybe he's had reason to regret it since then. People make bad decisions for the best motives all the time. All I know is that his loss is our blessing." He squeezed Karik's shoulder and made him look at him. "I want you to understand that it was never about you, Karik. How could it have been when you were just a baby? I've known Arman a long time. I respect him and I like him, but he can get pretty twisted up about things. Did you talk to him at all about any of this?" Karik shook his head. "He... g-got mad at me. T-Told me to shut up." "Did he now. Sounds like someone should have spanked some manners into him, don't you think?" That raised a smile from Karik as he tried to imagine Arman, tall, huge man that he was, over someone's knee. "The situation in Utuk was pretty bad with Urso dying, and him having to face a lot of people he probably never thought to see again. My guess is that he was upset about a lot of things that weren't to do with you at all. Why don't you and I and your Ma try and talk to him in the summer when he and Kei come to stay? Everyone will have had a chance to cool down, you'll be settled back home and had time to think. Do you think that might be the way to deal with it?"

"He h-hates me, Pa." "I don't think so, son. Arman's a bit of an odd person, and he can be...prickly. But if he hated you, he wouldn't have brought you back to us." Karik wanted to believe him, but he knew that Arman could have done all he had for Karik's parents' sake and still despised him personally. His father's idea was a good one though. Maybe in the summer, he could try again. He still had so many questions and this time, he wouldn't let Arman push them to one side. Pa straightened up. "Now, eat up, Karik and we can get an early night. We can sleep in proper beds in Ai-Beyto tomorrow." Karik looked up again as he picked up his plate. "D-do we huh-have to stay there?" "In Ai-Beyto? Why?" Karik couldn't meet his eyes. It seemed rather childish, but after Ai-Kislik, the thought of facing all those strangers who had been so dismissive of him, just turned his stomach. "N-no reason." "Hmmm. There must be, or you wouldn't have mentioned it. But no, we don't have to. We can push on, so long as you don't mind camping out. We'll get home a little earlier too, which your Ma will appreciate. So no Ai-Beyto, all right?" He nodded. He knew his father was puzzled, but there was only so much baring of his soul he could face right now. It would be hard enough when he got back to Ai-Albon, but at least the people there knew him, braid or no braid. At least, they thought they knew him.

The journey was unremarkable and free from any problems. The weather was damp two days running, which made it miserable for the humans, but the beasts and his father's sprung cart made light going of the road. Karik had to do a lot of the driving because Reji slept as much as he could after keeping watch at night. Karik did the early shift, his father the late one, since Pa insisted he was used to it after all these years. That was something Karik wanted to know about. "R-Risa said you wuh-wanted to stop."

"Yes, I surely do," his Pa said as they sat eating their supper. "I'm getting too old for it. The couple I took this route over from retired when they were only a few years older than I am now, and I think they would have stopped sooner if I'd been older myself. But Risa can't manage on his own and Lori isn't willing to do it all the time. One of Pia's brothers might be interested but that would leave Misek short for the herbarium." He set a fire sprite over the campfire, making it dance with the wood-fuelled flames – something he'd done when Karik was smaller, to make him laugh. Even now, the sight gave him pleasure. "I want to breed jesigs, see if they can be acclimatised to the dryer regions. They'd be damn useful for fast, short trips between villages – they could make Ai-Tuek in two days, given the speed they can do. Fedor's already agreed we can use some of the village funds as a stake. At least taking care of them will give me a bit of variety." Karik nodded. "I could huh-help. We could br-breed them together." His father looked surprised. "I thought you were going to work with Kei. He was very enthusiastic about it, at least before everything blew up." Karik shrugged. He couldn't imagine Kei wanting him in Darshek any more, not if Arman was about to become a Ruler, and with the way Arman thought of him. "Karik, you're not going to give up on that just because of what happened in Utuk, are you? Don't let the Prij take that away from you." "I...d-don't want to." "Hmmm. Why don't you give it a week or two before you make your mind up? Longer, in fact. It's not like you have to decide right now." "I kn-know. I just...." His eyes did that stupid thing again and he rubbed them angrily. "Karik...son – I think this isn't the time to make any decisions," his father said gently, putting his hand on Karik's shoulder. "You've been away from home for a while, and what you went through would unsettle anyone. Don't write off the future just yet." Karik nodded, not wanting to meet his father's eyes. Every time he thought about Utuk, about his mother, and Arman, his heart got tight and heavy in his chest. It was good to feel his father's arm around his shoulders, but it didn't really solve things. They drove into Ai-Albon at midday, five days after his father had taken him from the charge of the soldiers. The village street was quiet – families were

either eating their lunch inside their homes, or out in their places of work, in fields and mines. The smell of cooking and wood smoke filled the air, but there wasn't a soul to be seen. His father slowed the cart to a slow walk and dismounted, as did Karik, taking the reins of the beasts to lead them into the stables. "Karik?" Karik turned. Risa was coming towards them from out of the gloom of the stable shed. "Gods, you're safe. Oh gods." He suddenly swooped Karik up into a hug, and Karik could tell this normally restrained man was actually shaking as he held Karik. He felt his own heart lift a little at seeing his friend again. "I thought I would never see you again," Risa whispered. "I should never have let you and Gyo out of my sight." "N-Not your fault. My fault." "No, it wasn't. Oh, I'm so glad you're safe." Karik heard his father chuckle. "Risa-ki, if you keep that up, I'll have to announce the betrothal." Risa let Karik go so he could straighten up and glare at his partner. "Just like you to ruin the moment, Reji. " He held Karik at arm's length. "Your braid...." "Will grow," Pa said firmly. "Risa, Jena will want to see him. Any chance I can ask you to sort the cart out while I take Karik home?" "Of course. I'll bring your gear to the house in a few minutes. Karik, get on home to your Ma, she's been out of her mind worrying about you. Welcome back, lad," he added with one last hug. "Off you go." Karik paused only to collect his pack from the back of the cart, then, with his father's arm around his shoulders, they walked down the street to their house. He could smell baking – his Ma must be making bread. "Jena! Look what I've got for you!" A pan clattered in the sink as his mother turned around, her face frozen in shock, then ran to them without a word, sweeping Karik and his father up into her embrace. "You're really safe," she said, her voice breaking on a sob. "I'm h-home, Ma," Karik whispered into her hair.

She leaned back to look at him. "Oh, your braid...that settles it, you're never leaving the house ever again!" "Jena love, I don't think it's practical," his Pa said with gentle humour. "All right, then I'm tying a stone to his ankle and putting a bell around his neck. Oh, gods, Karik," she cried, pressing him to her shoulder. "You scared me to death." "I'm sorry, Ma." She gave a mighty sniffle, then pulled her handkerchief from her pocket to blow her nose. "Well, you're just in time for lunch. I made some bread, and Meis brought some honey and butter along just this morning. Are you hungry?" "We're starved," his Pa said, bending down to kiss her on the cheek. "Karik, just dump your pack and wash up." His Ma couldn't seem to stop touching him as he ate, as if she wasn't sure he was entirely real. She had a dozen questions about what had happened to him, and how it had been for him, all of which he found very uncomfortable to answer. She could have got the answers just by reading his mind, but his mother had always strictly respected his privacy that way, and even now, as he stumbled and stuttered and failed to really answer what she wanted to know, she didn't use her gift. Finally, his Pa signalled to his mother that Karik had had enough, and she caressed his cheek. "I'm sorry, Ka-chi. I wish you'd contacted me before you left, though. I kept thinking something must be wrong, though Misi said you looked fine when you left the embassy." "I...it all huh-happened so fast." "Jena, I think a certain Prij of our acquaintance was a little brusque," his Pa said. "And certainly didn't tell Karik anything of what had been going on while he was at Mekus' house." "Well that was kind," his Ma said tartly. "Remind me to thank him for that later." "Get in line," his Pa said, glancing at Karik. Karik just concentrated on his food. He didn't want his parents arguing with Arman over him. He just wanted people to stop thinking about him altogether. They dawdled over their meal, talking – at least, his parents talked, and he listened, grateful for that simple pleasure. Then he unpacked his things in his

bedroom, discovering with relief that all his treasures – even the quilo fruit stones – had been carefully preserved for him. He touched Risa's beautiful hair clasp mournfully, knowing it would be at least a year before he could wear it safely. Until then he was going to look like a freak – well, more of a freak. His eyes settled on Arman's gift, and he wondered if he could get away with throwing it in the midden, or burying it. But the truth was he would need the razor one day, and there wasn't another to be had in the village. He still didn't know how to use one. Depressed again, he came downstairs, where his parents were sitting on the sofa, his Pa holding his Ma in his arms. "I'm g-going for a walk," he told them. "Back later." "Karik...." His Pa laid a hand on Ma's. "Jena, let the boy be. He's been stuck in the one house for a month, and on a cart for two weeks. He just wants to stretch his legs. Right, Karik?" "Yes. Wuh-won't be long." His mother made the effort to smile. "I'll get over it soon, Ka-chi. Maybe in a year or ten. Off you go." He felt like a traitor for leaving then, but his father had it exactly right – he just wanted to stretch his legs without anyone dogging his steps. It wasn't like he was leaving the village again. He passed by the stables where Risa was still working. It was obvious the reason he had been there at all was because he had a sick young beast, and Karik spent a little time talking to him about what was wrong with it – just a colic, it seemed, and Risa had it in hand, treating the animal with one of Jena's drenches. "I'll bring your gear to the house in a bit," he said, watching the beast as it groaned and shifted in discomfort, patting its neck to soothe it. "I'll p-pick it up wuh-when I came back." "All right. Make sure you come by our house later, Ma's been worried about you nearly as much as Jena was." Karik agreed readily. Meis was someone who was always easy to talk to, and he had spent nearly as much time growing up in her house as in his own. She'd taught him to cook and to sew, and never even seemed to notice his stammer.

But then, all of Risa's family were good friends. It was still a little strange to think they were now just a handful of yards away, instead of a thousand miles. He really was home, finally. That comfortable feeling stayed with him as he walked up the street and towards the waterhole. As he drew near the trees at the far side, he realised there were two people there, sitting at the water's edge – they appeared to be occupied with each other. Recognising them, he turned away to give them their privacy. "Ka-chi?" He sighed, and turned back. He really didn't feel like talking to people but he didn't want to cause offence either. "Hello, M-Meran." Her companion – Peit's son, Jos – gave him a dirty look as he untangled himself from her. It was pretty obvious that in Karik's absence, Meran had found a more suitable target for her sexual experimentation, though why she had settled on the rather surly Jos, and what her parents would think of her kissing him in broad daylight – or at all – Karik didn't know. "When did you get back?" "N-Noon." She walked over to him, and Jos followed her, scowling heavily. "Who cut your hair? The Prij?" he asked, sounded offended at the very idea. "N-no, I did." "Why? Are you leaving the clan? That's good news." Meran slapped Jos' arm. "Jos, don't be mean. Why did you cut it, Ka-chi? It looks horrible." Karik's scowl nearly matched Jos'. "N-none of your b-business," he said, turning away and walking back to the village. He should have a sign made saying that, he thought, and start wearing it around his neck. "Oy, don't talk to her like that." A meaty hand grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. "People only cut their braids if they're banished or they're dead. Which are you?" Jos demanded.

"N-Neither. I'm just a p-pissing P-Prij. Let me go." He tried to free his shirt from Jos' grasp but the boy had strong parents and had inherited muscle from both of them. At fifteen, he looked like a full-grown man, being as tall and broad as many who were ten years older. "A Prij? So you're too good for the Darshianese now? You should have stayed in Utuk." "M-Maybe I sh-should have." "Jos, let him go," Meran said, pulling her boyfriend's hand off Karik. "I'm glad you're back, Karik," giving Jos a significant look. Karik wondered how many more kisses from Meran were in Jos' future. "I'm not," Jos said. "They should drive all the Prij out of Darshian. They're nothing but trouble." "M-Make sure you tell Ah-Arman that when you s-see him," Karik said angrily. "I'm not scared of Arman. Everyone knows he's just sucking up to the Rulers because he wants people to forget what he did in the war. Well I don't forget what he did to my Ma and my Pa, and you're no better than him, Karik. I don't want any Prij living in the village, and I don't want you." "Jos! Karik, don't listen to him...." "I n-never do," Karik snapped, turning on his heel and walking smartly away. Jos had always hated him, though his parents were never anything other than kind and polite to Karik. Karik supposed it made Jos feel superior somehow, to have someone to despise. Even though he expected no better from the other boy, the sudden burst of animosity reawakened all his feelings of worthlessness and insecurity. Jos wasn't the only person in the village to dislike the Prij, and certainly not the only person in Darshian. Yet Jos only knew two Prij in total, and neither had ever done him any harm, not to him directly anyway, and if Peit and Urki bore Arman no illwill, why should their son? Jos seemed to hate him for just who he was, not for anything he had done or would do. He heard footsteps running to catch up with him as he walked towards the mine. He clenched his fist, quite determined to insist on being left alone with the force of a blow if he had to. "Karik?" It was Meran. "Wait, Karik, please."

"What?" She had caught up with him, and he stopped. It would just be foolish to run off and he knew her well enough that she would chase him until she caught him. "I'm sorry," she said. "That wasn't fair of him." "I d-don't care." "Why not?" "B-because he's an i-i-idiot," Karik said bluntly, not caring if he offended her. If she was going to associate herself with Jos, then she could get used to it. Jos was a bad-tempered bully and nowhere near as smart as Meran. "He just...doesn't think sometimes." "You mean, e-ever." "You don't like him much, do you?" Karik gave her a cold look. "I d-don't like him at a-all, Meran." She looked at the ground as if embarrassed. "Did you mean what you said? That you're a Prij? Not one of us? Is that why you cut your hair? I don't know anyone who's cut their braid before." She reached up to touch the back of his head but he jerked away. "D-Don't. Just g-go back to Jos." "He's gone off in a sulk. Are you angry with me, Karik? Because I'm friends with Jos?" "No," he said with a sigh. He was tired since he'd only slept half the night, keeping watch the other half. That in itself was making him irritable enough. "I d-don't want to t-talk about it." She nodded. "Gyo was really upset when he came back. No one knew what was happening to you." "I'm all r-right. B-back now." He oophed as she suddenly hugged him. "I'm glad you're back, Ka-chi. I don't care if you're a Prij."

He patted her shoulder, even as he gently extracted himself from her embrace. "G-go back to Jos, Meran." The last thing he needed was to attract the other boy's jealousy on top of everything else. But like her mother, Meran had a good heart, and was clearly worried about him. "Will you be all right on your own? You just got home, you shouldn't be alone." "I'm fuh-fine. J-just want to th-think." "I know, but you've been gone so long. I missed you. So did Keiji." "S-sorry. I'm f-fine. Please?" She gave him a dubious look. "All right. Don't listen to Jos, Karik." "I w-won't. G-go home, Meran." Karik's legs collapsed under him as Arman stormed out, and he had to sit down on the bunk, his fist against his mouth to stop himself throwing up. Had he really just said all that to one of the most important men in Darshian? To uncle Kei's lover? He had never been that rude in his life. But he had been so angry...and so had Arman. Gods, what should he do now? Trying to talk to Arman about it would probably just end up with him storming out again – or worse. Karik had seen how he'd had to restrain his fists, and knowing Arman was capable of killing made it entirely credible that he might have harmed Karik for his insolence. He had achieved nothing – no explanation, no apology, no acceptance. Arman was now more distant than ever, but then this rejection hardly hurt more than what he had already done. The boat had not yet sailed and for a few desperate moments, Karik almost considered doing as Arman suggested, just because he didn't know if he could face the voyage with Arman's hostility, and then his parents' kind but unknowing sympathy. But he didn't want to be in Utuk, he didn't want to be Prijian, so all he could do was as he had done for four weeks – and the whole of his life, really – and endure. Would it all be better when he got back to the village? Right now it was hard to think it ever would be, but the alternative was no alternative. He discovered he was shaking, and gripped his arms to try and get some control back. Nine days to Darshek. Several weeks after that before he got back to Ai-

Albon. He couldn't fall apart now. There was just too long to go before he was safe.

The trip was nearly as painful and lonely as the time he'd spent confined at Mekus' home. Arman treated him with an icy courtesy which left Karik with no doubt that his father despised him, and robbed him of the courage to confront the man again. That didn't prevent Karik now feeling a constant anger, a continuous outrage at Arman for his high-handedness. He wasn't a child – Arman had no right to forbid him to say or think anything. But every time he tried to say this, his tongue refused to cooperate, and Arman gave him no opportunity for civil conversation. From the moment he woke to last thing at night, Arman left the cabin, spending some time on deck, Karik knew, because he saw him often, either sitting staring out at the surging ocean or talking to the sailors. He left Karik strictly alone. That didn't mean he was abandoned – the young cabin boy made sure he got his meals, knew where to find things and what to do in bad weather. But to Arman, Karik was just an unwanted piece of cabin furniture. Angry as he was at the man, Karik couldn't help but also wonder how this would affect his relations with Kei, his parents, even the village. Arman was well-loved and well-respected, friend to many people Karik personally liked and who were important to him. He had an uneasy suspicion that Arman's animosity would make his own difficult position even worse – and he couldn't imagine Kei would still want him at the academy. Arman's opinion would carry more weight with Kei than Karik's did – it would only be natural. So the bright future Kei had painted for him was now to be an unreachable dream. If he was lucky, his father would still let him be a trader. More likely, he would end up stuck in the village doing odd jobs for whoever wanted them, like Lori did. But Lori was tall and strong – and Darshianese. Karik couldn't even offer that to people. Even the prospect of returning to his parents couldn't cheer him, and his mood became darker with every mile closer to home. Gero, the cabin boy, began to worry about him, and had timidly asked if there was anything he could do. Karik had roused himself out of his black depression long enough to reassure the lad, but had then sunk back into introspection. Like Arman, he spent a lot of time on deck, at least when it was fine. When it rained, or became dangerously stormy, he could only hide in the cabin. Arman went elsewhere – of course he never said where.

After eight days, the rising excitement in the crew told him they were approaching Darshek. Of course – they were less than a day from being home. Karik didn't know how he was to get home, or even when. He had no idea what had happened to his things – his birthday gifts had not been in the pack that Arman had brought down, and Karik didn't know if Gyo had taken them home, or if they were still at Kei's house. He felt like he was of no importance to any of the people making decisions about his life, and it only made him more angry. The ship had been hugging the coast all that last day, and finally Karik could see the huge cannons that defended Darshek Harbour. He went down to the cabin to collect his things, and brought his packs up to the deck. He was almost of a mind to just walk off once they had docked, but he knew that was not only impractical, but ridiculous. He came back on deck, staying out of the way of the sailors who were now heavily occupied trimming sails and working the ship up the long harbour. "We'll be in dock in an hour. Are you happy now, Karik?" He looked around. Gero was staring up at him with a worried, hopeful expression. "N-not really." "I'm sorry. Do you hate your home so much?" "N-no. I love it." "Then what's wrong? Did you leave someone behind in Utuk that you miss?" "No." Now the boy had pointed it out, his depression did seem unreasonable. But yet he still felt so sad, so hopeless. "Wuh-where is your h-home?" "On the ship. The first mate's my father. My Ma died two years ago." Like Jembis, Karik thought. He hadn't thought of the other boy in weeks, and now wondered how he was getting on. "D-do you like the sh-ship?" "Mostly. It gets boring, but then I like being in Utuk, I have friends there." "Fr-friends? P-Prijian friends?" Gero gave him a strange look. "Of course. Why is that wrong, Karik? You're Prijian and I like you."

"I'm n-not Prijian," he snapped, and Gero cringed. "S-sorry. I...wuh-was born there. But I'm n-not." "Well, then you must be both Prijian and Darshianese. You can't change who you were born to be, that makes no sense." One of the sailors called to Gero then and he hurried away with a quick apology, leaving Karik to ponder his words. In his heart, he felt himself to be Darshianese. But to everyone who saw him, he was just another Prij. Would he be happier if he stopped pretending being something he wasn't? But he had had a taste of living like a Prij and had hated it. How much of that was peculiar to being in that house, and how much was the culture itself, he didn't know and didn't want to repeat the experiment to discover. He leaned on the rail and put his head in his hands. He wanted to talk to his father. Reji had a way of making things clear that Karik had often relied on, and an inner calmness that he had tried very hard to emulate. But could his father – Reji – understand what Karik was feeling? The only person Karik knew of in the same situation was himself. Well, except Arman, and Arman's position in Darshian was entirely different. Arman seemed to be able to be that oddity, a Darshianese Prij, without the slightest conflict. But Karik had no Kei or Lord Meki to smooth his way. He was told to stay away from the rail by a passing sailor, in case he was knocked into the harbour by the force of docking. The docks seemed as busy as that fateful day when he had innocently followed Jembis to see some baby animals. What a naïve fool he had been to have done that, he thought, but who could have foreseen such a thing? Even now, he couldn't believe Jembis had done it, though he had long since forgiven the boy for the trick. Such a silly thing to have had such awful consequences. He remembered again about Urso, and thought perhaps a little – just a little – of Arman's hostility was justified. But he hadn't even known Urso had died. The ship docked, but still no one came near him for some time. The sailors began the business of unloading, navvies walking from the dockside to assist. Men were shouting everywhere, and he saw beasts pulling wagons to the dockside, ready to receive the cargo. "Come along, Karik." He turned. Arman was standing with an impatient look on his face, packs in his hand. Karik hoisted his own and as soon as he did, Arman moved towards the gangplank. "Wuh-where are we going?"

"Home, of course. You're going back to your village, where I sincerely hope you will remain until you learn some sense." Karik stopped, and glared. "I d-did nothing wrong." "I refuse to argue with you about this in public. Move, or I'll have you carried off the boat." Karik very nearly told him to go ahead, but there was a forbidding look in Arman's eye that warned Karik he was entirely serious. He followed Arman down the gangplank, and trudged along behind him a half mile or so, not sure where they were going. To his surprise, it seemed they were headed to an army barracks where Arman was well-known, judging by the many greetings he was receiving. Karik could only follow, since he wasn't being given any explanations at all. "Arman! Gods, man, is that you?" "It is. Tiko, did you get the message we were on our way back?" The person who had greeted Arman was a short, stocky, grey-haired man with a wide smile and intelligent eyes set in a weathered face. He was wearing a uniform, but Karik had no idea of ranks. "Yes, we did. So this is Karik?" Arman gave a dismissive flick of his head. "Yes. Tiko, I want him taken back straight away. His parents will want him home as fast as we can manage it." "I can line up people for tomorrow...." "No, now, Tiko." Tiko frowned. "Didn't you just get off the ship? Don't you want to give the boy a night to catch his breath?" "He's been sitting on his arse for over a month and his parents are crazed with worry. No, he's not going back to the house, unless you have no one to take him." "Let me check, you've caught me on the hop. Karik, are you ready and fit to travel?" Karik could only nod. Though he still felt as if the ground was rocking under his feet, the idea of going back with Arman to be treated with more disdain was repellent. "Right, then let me ask. Just wait, I won't be long."

Arman thanked him, then stared off into the distance, looking anywhere but at Karik. Karik almost laughed. He looked just like Keiji did when he was arguing with his sister. It wasn't really funny, but Arman was behaving in a rather childish way, and Karik was no longer afraid to think that, even if he couldn't say it. True to his word, Tiko was back in minutes. "I've got two lads who can run a cart within the hour back to the village. Do his parents know he's on his way?" "Not yet, but if you could deal with that through your mind-speaker I'd be grateful. Oh, tell him to ask Neka not to tell Kei I'm back – I want to surprise him." "Surprise him – you'll melt his brain," Tiko said with a chuckle. "The man's been hopeless while you've been away." "I'm sure he hasn't. So, I'll leave Karik in your hands. Make sure your men take him home, Tiko. I don't want to go through this again, if you please." "No, I'm sure. Arman, why the haste? A day won't matter to Jena and Reji if they know the boy is safe." Arman pressed his lips together in annoyance. "I've done my bit, Tiko, and I just want to get on with my life. Please get him back home." Tiko shrugged. "As you wish. Come on, Karik." He took Karik's arm as Arman began to stalk off without a backwards glance. Karik shrugged the hand off – he was sick of being pulled and pushed around – and walked towards Arman. "G-goodbye, Father," he said in a low, clear voice that only Arman could have heard. Arman stopped. His back went stiff, and Karik was sure he was about to turn and speak to him. But then he began to walk off once more, and the moment was gone. Coward, Karik thought angrily, then let Tiko tow him away. He had lost his last chance to resolve things with Arman. Perhaps he should now just concentrate on not caring about the man at all.

Arman could have easily got a lift back to the academy, but he needed to walk off his temper. That damn brat, impudent to the end. If Mekus could change a boy in such a short time, then Arman had been entirely vindicated in taking the baby away from his and Mayl's care. Good riddance to the boy, he thought angrily. He'd cost too much for what he was, and if Reji and Jena weren't so important to Arman and Kei both, Arman would have thrown him off that boat himself. Yet, even in his anger, he was aware he was being exaggerated, irrational, in his reactions. He strove to get his emotions under control before his soul-touching lover could feel them. It was the reason he hadn't wanted Tiko to forewarn Kei – if he couldn't calm down, he would just keep walking until he did. Why did this child, not his blood, not his concern, affect him so badly? Why had his accusations hurt as if he had been stabbed? He couldn't understand it, couldn't articulate it even to himself. It was like all his understanding of human beings became as nothing when he faced Karik. The boy was angry with him, and again, to be scrupulous, had a right to be. But even acknowledging that made Arman's heart burn with turbulent emotions he couldn't even put a name to. This was no good. He was but a mile from the academy and he was as angry and ready to snap as he had been an hour ago. He walked down to the harbour-side, and sat on one of the civic benches, staring out at the water, his head in his hands. He had to stop this. He was just a few minutes from being back with the man he loved. Every minute sitting here getting worked up was another minute away from Kei. At last, his heart stopped pounding unpleasantly, and he could unclench his fists. It would take him fifteen minutes to walk to the academy. If he concentrated on what it would be like to see Kei again, he would be all right. He had calmed a little by the time he reached the big white building on the shorefront, and he couldn't resist running up the academy's steps, only stopping for the barest time needed for courtesy to acknowledge the happy greetings from the clerks and to find out where Kei was. Then he dashed up the two narrow staircases to his lover's office and threw the door open, not even stopping to think that Kei might not be alone. Fortunately he was. "Arman!" The pencil Kei was holding fell from his fingers. Arman swore later he hadn't even seen Kei move before he suddenly had an

armful of laughing, almost crying man who pushed him against the wall and crushed hungry lips against his mouth. Kei's hands were everywhere, his body pressed hard against Arman's, while Arman's hands were busy trying to get under Kei's jerkin and shirt, to the bare, warm skin that he had missed so much. Some time later – he was never to be sure just how long – he ended up sitting against the wall with Kei against him, stroking Kei's braid and kissing his temple. "Gods, never let me go through that again." "If the gods had such powers, I would pray for that too," Kei murmured. "Where's Karik?" "On his way back. I left him with Tiko who's arranged it all." Kei pulled back and frowned at him. "Why didn't you bring him to the house? The poor lad must have been in need of a little rest." "That poor lad was more in need of being sent home to his parents who are rightly worried about him. He's caused me a good deal of trouble, Kei. If you don't mind, I don't want to talk about him." Kei's frown intensified, and he climbed off Arman and got to his feet, dusting his pants off. Arman stood up too, hoping Kei wouldn't press this. "Did you even let Jena know?" "Tiko's mind-speaker was asked to. What possible point is there in keeping the child here when he needs to be on his way?" "I just thought he might like a night to get his bearings, that's all. He's been through an ordeal." "We've all been through an ordeal, and since it's a direct result of his actions, I see no reason to pander to him further." Kei blinked. "Gods, you're really angry at him, aren't you?" "I'll be even angrier if my homecoming has to be spent talking about this any more than I have to." "Have you sent him on his way in this temper? Why, Arman? Karik's done nothing wrong...."

"So you say, but not only did his loose tongue lead to this mess, he seems to have eagerly devoured the worst lies that Mayl and Mekus have spewed, and is more than happy to spread those around as well." He could feel his blood beginning to pound and he rubbed at his temples. "Can't you drop it? The boy is in perfect health, he's in good hands, I've done my best for him and so has everyone else. I'm just pissing tired of this mess, can't you see that?" Kei frowned at him. "Yes, I can, but I wish you had brought Karik back for the night. Letting him go home with this between you was wrong, and not very kind either. You haven't given him a chance to even talk about what they told him, and it could be easily explained." "I refuse to defend myself against such spurious accusations." "But you're happy to look like a bully instead?" If it had been anyone but Kei saying this, Arman would have walked out in disgust, but Kei's tone was still mild. With difficulty, he held onto his temper. "Kei, please – Karik's injured feelings are really the least important thing, don't you think? He's safe, he's going home, Reji and Jena have their boy back, and really, considering how badly this could have gone for them, I'd just like a little appreciation of the efforts my father and I have gone to. Yes, perhaps I was unfair to him, but he was being provocative. I don't like rudeness, as you well know." "No, I know, and I know you've done a good thing. I suppose there's no permanent harm, though I wish you'd not been so hasty, that's all." Kei shook his head ruefully and sighed. "I have to teach in a few minutes. Have you been to see Lord Meki?" "You really think I would see him before you? I have been gone too long." Kei smiled. "You certainly have. Forget the question, my head's still whirling from the joy of you being right here instead of a thousand miles away." He kissed Arman again, and Arman let the familiar taste of him wash away his residual anger. If Kei could let the thing go, Arman might be capable of discussing it more calmly later. Much later. "You said you have to teach?" Arman murmured. "Yes, damn it." Kei rested his cheek against Arman's, reminding Arman that he needed to shave. "Why don't you go see Meki? I know it'll do him good, and I

can come meet you there so we can walk home together. I'll only be an hour or so." "Mmmm, an hour seems a long time to me right now," he said, and Kei smiled. "But as you say. How is he?" "Much better since we got your news. I think if you'd really stayed for two years, it would have been the end of him. He was furious with you, you realise, when you said you were staying." "Yes, he made that quite clear," Arman said dryly. "But what choice did I have? What honourable choice?" "At that point, none. It's just a miracle that Mekus decided to drop the case." Arman pulled back. "What? Is that what Yuko said?" Kei frowned in puzzlement. "He said it had been settled. He didn't give us any details, and at that point, I didn't care just so long as you and Karik were coming home safe to us. Why are you so cross?" "Mekus didn't settle, Kei. My father paid a fortune to buy them off – against, I have to say, my direct wishes. My brother bore some of the cost too. I wasn't pleased with them, though their motives were admirable." "Oh...I didn't know." Kei shook his head. "Stupid of me, really. Mekus wasn’t going to just let you slip away that easily, was he?" "No, he wasn't. He managed to put everyone to a good deal of trouble, got Urso killed, robbed my niece and nephew of what was rightfully theirs, and infected that boy...." He took a deep breath and gritted his teeth. "I am not talking about this, Kei. For pity's sake, leave it be." "As you wish," Kei said gently, laying his hand over Arman's heart. Arman began to feel his anger leaching away, and he realised what Kei was doing. He put his hand over Kei's. "Don't, you've had your own troubles." Kei drew a breath, and then stopped whatever he was doing. It had been enough, though. Arman felt much calmer. "You really need to learn how to not get so worked up, my love." He leaned forward and kissed Arman's cheek. "Go on to the Rulers' House. I'll find you in Lord Meki's office or your own. I better let Pira know you're coming or she'll faint with shock."

"You were expecting me, surely." "Arman, after the month we've had, we expected nothing. Welcome back. I believe I neglected to say that," he added with a teasing smile. "I think I got the general impression. See you soon." At the Rulers' House, he took the precaution of asking a clerk to let Lord Meki know he was back so that the older man didn't have a heart attack from shock. The clerk returned in moments and almost dragged Arman along to see his superior immediately. The Ruler stood as he came into the room. "Arman. By all the gods, I didn't really think we would see you again so soon." Lord Meki held his hand out in greeting, something he rarely did, and Arman shook it gratefully, though he was shocked at how tired and grey the man looked. "And just as well I did come back, Meki. What have you been doing to yourself?" "Now don't scold, I've had that young man of yours at me too. I've been resting, I promise you, but the work still needs to be done, you know that. The reports from Utuk are worrying me. We need to prepare for the collapse of the civil order in that country, and I'm not sure we're ready." "The collapse isn't as imminent as you think, though I think it's well to prepare." He took a seat as Lord Meki indicated. "But nothing is gained by you working yourself to death." "I'm glad you feel that way, because I took the liberty, once we heard you were coming back, of sending preliminary notices out to the clans regarding your nomination." Arman raised an eyebrow. "And if the ship had sunk?" "We would have mourned deeply," Lord Meki said, with a welcome twinkle in his tired eyes. "I only delayed lest the Prij use it against you. Now, I'm only too happy to poke them with your nomination." "You and my father have a lot in common, do you realise?" The Ruler asked for an explanation, and though he smiled to learn of Arman's parent's obstinacy, he agreed the man had been a tad reckless. "But he knows the temperature of the situation better than me, and probably you. What would happen if Kita were deposed?"

"Mekus would push for himself or his son to be regent for her daughter. But he could only do that if he had support. He hasn't got the army, nor all of the senate, though my brother says it's always difficult to tell with the way alliances shift. The old families loathe his guts. The newer senators are more in his debt. The populace seem willing to let him use their pent-up anger for his own purposes. I think the fact my father got away with the things he did, indicates that Mekus knows his position isn't by any means secure. I am naturally anxious for that situation to continue." Lord Meki grunted in agreement. "You and Peika need to talk and soon. I think it only fair to warn you that if your nomination is accepted, one of your first duties will be to travel to Andon to look at their defences and advise them. It could be for a month or more. Kei won't be pleased." "Kei already knows it's possible. I don't think either of us will like it, but it's not the same as being trapped in Utuk without the option of returning for years. Anyway, I just got back, I don't want to talk of something that may not happen. I'm still not convinced the villages will even consider my nomination, let alone agree to it." "We'll see," Lord Meki, looking rather smug. "What about that boy? I thought he would be with you." Arman strove to keep a pleasant smile on his face. "I thought it best to send him home as soon as I could. Captain Tiko's got it in hand – Karik should be home within two weeks, and I hope that puts an end to it all." "You've had a difficult time of it, no doubt. Kei's had a worse one, though. I wondered who was at more risk of dying from a heart attack at times, me or him." "Oh?" Arman frowned. "When I spoke to him, he seemed to be coping as well as I would expect from someone of his intelligence." "Intelligence be damned. If you ever think you might have to spend so much time away from him, find a way for him to join you. None of us want to see him wither away." "I was trying to keep him safe," Arman replied, somewhat stung. "And you needed him...."

"Not as much as he needs you," the Ruler said sternly. "Take my advice, Arman. Don't keep him from you like that ever again. It's not worth it. Nothing is worth it, not even me." "As you wish it, Meki," Arman said, not wanting to argue with the man. "Shall we find Lord Peika?"

He was in his office, looking through his piled up mail, and the sun was dipping low over the horizon before Kei arrived, out of breath and apologetic. "Sorry, sorry, I got trapped by our new teachers and I couldn't just push them off. Can we go home now?" He sounded like a child anxious for his birthday present. Arman grinned at him and rose immediately to get his packs. Kei shouldered one, and they walked hand in hand along the sea front back to the house, only just enough light left in the sky to see where they were going. "Meki looks terrible," Arman said, keeping his voice low in deference to the other people on their path. "Yes, he does. I won't lose him, Arman. Not like this." Arman squeezed Kei's hand in response to his fierce tone. "He seems more worried about you than himself. Gave me quite the lecture about abandoning you. You know I thought it was the best thing to do, don't you?" "Of course." Kei stopped and forced him to swing around to face him. "Look, I'm not going to say it was easy or pleasant, or that I got all that much sleep before we heard you were coming back. But I would have survived, you know that. I've been through worse, you know that too." "Yes, I know," Arman murmured, holding Kei close to him, "and I was responsible for that too. I wished I'd had you there. I needed your advice. I could have done with your calm wisdom." There was a rueful-sounding chuckle next to his ear. "You wouldn't have thought me calm if you'd seen me after I thought you were really going to stay down there. There was some tantrum in my office, I assure you." "I can imagine. Meki wants me to promise I won't ever think of doing that again – of course, this is just after he blithely tells me if I become a Ruler, I'll be

shipped to Andon for a month. I can't promise it, Kei. I just hope those circumstances never arise again, but there are things more important than our individual happiness." "Yes, I do know that. I knew that when I agreed to be a hostage, and I knew it when you told me your plans. Meki does not dictate to you and me as a couple. Ever. And if, fate forbid, you are in such circumstances again, I trust you to do the best you can. You can trust me to accept it. If you will allow a tantrum or two," he added with a wry smile. His eyes showed how much that acceptance had cost him, and Arman could see now why Meki had been so insistent. But at the same time, Kei was no weakling. He had endured worse than Arman ever had, and had come through it with grace and courage every time. "Throw all the tantrums you need, Kei, but let's just hope nothing will part us in the future. Meki's not the only one whose heart can't take the strain."

Chapter 3 Arman sighed, leafing through the reports from the harbour masters. To think he had missed all this, and it would only get worse if his position became official. He was finally getting on top of the accumulated paper work, and had, with commendable restraint, so Kei had said, refrained from strangling any architects at all. But he had been at it long enough today, and was looking forward to an early night with Kei who had been at home all afternoon, the lucky bastard. He would just see Lord Meki before he left and then walk home. The fresh air would be welcome. Arman? He straightened up in surprise. Yes, Neka? Reji wants to speak to you. Are you busy? No, let me speak to him. He sighed. He'd had a feeling this conversation was going to come up soon. A few moments later, Reji's distinctive voice was in his head. Arman? What have you been telling my son? Even used as he was to the bluntness of the Darshianese villagers, Arman was immediately annoyed. And good day to you, Reji. So glad you're grateful for me bringing him back. I'm very grateful, you bastard, but what's this that he's telling me, that you're his father? You told us that Mekus was. What's going on? I said nothing to him about the matter, Reji. Mekus and Mayl filled his head with their spite and he seems to have believed everything they told him. But what's the truth of the matter? Are you his father after all? Legally, yes. Even your adoption is invalid, according to Lord Meki, at least it will be until we renew the documents. Now I've got Mayl's consent to dispose of him as I wish, I can do.... Arman! This was Jena. Are you Karik's father or not?

He sighed. No. It's impossible, Jena. I hadn't slept with Mayl in a year when she fell pregnant, and you know better than me what that means. So it is Mekus? Reji had rejoined the conversation. Actually, probably not. Mayl never had another child with him, and Karik looks nothing like Mekus, though his other two children favoured him quite strongly. It's likely that Mayl cuckolded us both. Oh. Jena again. Is this why you refused to tell Karik who his father was? No, I didn't work it out until I was back in Utuk. Jena, I didn't tell him about Mekus before because I wanted to avoid precisely the kind of situation we ended up in, and in any event how could I tell him his father was the man who ordered ten of your people killed? And now...do you want to be the one to tell him his mother's faithless, and his father could easily have been one of her servants? Do you think this will help his self-esteem? You don't seem to have had much care for his self-esteem lately, she snapped. He thinks you hate him. How could you treat him like that? Like what, Jena? I went to considerable difficulty to bring him home to you, and he repaid me with rudeness. Are you going to make me regret getting him back for you, on top of everything else I went through? There was a long period of silence. Arman rubbed his temples – he was getting a headache, and this was all going so badly. It was the price to pay for losing his temper with the boy, and he supposed he shouldn't complain about having to pay it. What did Karik say to you, Arman? Reji asked, sounding somewhat less angry than he had. He accused me of taking me away from his mother. Well, you did. Yes, but he clearly believes Mayl was grief-stricken about it, that I ripped him from her bosom, ran off to Kei and it's just not the way it was. If you'd seen her in Utuk, you'd know her only interest in Karik was as a way to punish me. I could hardly tell him that, though. I can't tell him about any of it, Reji. Damn it, he's your son, I hardly know him. How do you tell a boy his real mother essentially sold him to the highest bidder? Explain, Reji said curtly, so Arman did.

Oh, gods. Jena's voice was quietly horrified. How could she give him up for money? How, indeed. Reji, Jena, please, I can't deal with this from here. You have to be the ones to explain things to him. But who do I say is his father? You're his father, Reji. You know that's not enough, Arman. Then tell him the truth – that you don’t know. Or let him believe what he does now. I don't like lying to my son. I don't have any other answers. The problem is that he doesn’t know why the man he believes is his father would give him up, or take him from his mother in the first place. Arman felt the familiar cold anger grow in his gut at the thought of Mayl, and choked it down. And do you want me to be the one to tell him his mother's an amoral slut, or do you want that pleasure? Arman! This was Jena. We're just trying to help Karik, you don't have to be so damn rude. Look, Jena, I've only just got back from a fairly tiresome stay in Utuk and brought your son back to you, and now you're wanting more from me, which I simply can't provide. I'm really not the person to handle that conversation with the boy – I already tried and it went badly. Tell him whatever you want to tell him. I absolve you from your promise, just stop forcing a parental responsibility on me. I am not his father. Even if I was by blood, I am not by right or by any other measure. Just as well. You'd have made a rotten father, Arman, you know that. Strangely, I do know that, thank you, he said, but without any heat in his words. Arman let few people point out his faults so unflinchingly, but Jena always had and always would. Her complete honesty was her most admirable quality, he'd always thought.

Not that I'm not grateful, Jena said. You don't know any more about what Mayl did or said to Karik, do you? Not really, although I know what she said to me and what lies she put in the mouths of her servants. She's putting it about that I was sleeping with Kei in the house while he was a hostage, and that I made a habit of sleeping with my...with my male servants, which is completely untrue. No doubt she told Karik that, and painted Kei as breaking up our loving marriage, which is also completely untrue. But since neither of you ever met her, I don't know that your denials will carry much weight. I can try to talk to him about it, but since he's convinced I'm such a bastard, I don't know how much good it will do. I don't know, I was convinced you were a bastard and I still came to trust you. Not that you're not still a bastard, though. Arman smiled a little. Never claimed not to be, Jena. Karik can think what he likes about me, but I won't allow him to slander Kei. Kei is and was completely honourable in his actions towards me, and Mayl knows it. I don't want Karik believing that rubbish. You can't blame him for assuming his own mother was telling the truth, Arman. If you didn't bother to explain any of this to him, what is he supposed to make of it? Nothing, I suppose. I just...had had enough of Mayl and the whole situation. Talking to him about it seemed intolerable, after everything else. Yes, I know it must, but damn it, Arman, he's just a boy. If it's beyond you to deal with, how is he supposed to, and if you're just going to be angry with him.... I don't know there's much I can do about that either, Jena. I suggested you and he sit down and talk when you come down in the summer, Reji said. Arman could think of almost nothing he would like to do less on their annual visit to Ai-Albon, but he supposed there wasn't much he could do to avoid it, if he and Kei were to be able to continue doing so without tension between old friends. As you wish. I just warn you that I'm not going to let him be impertinent. Then you better learn some manners in the meantime too, Jena said, but at least with some humour in her tone.

I'm sure Kei will beat some into me. Can I go now and lick my wounds? Yes, go home to Kei and confess your crimes. He'll tell you you're an idiot too. Reji chuckled. Thank you for our boy, Arman, he said. Will you pass a letter to your father if I send one? Of course, but he doesn't expect thanks. No doubt, but then that's the Prij for you. Arman let the insult slide, knowing Reji meant it only as a joke, and also knowing he deserved far worse for what he'd said to Karik. Karik had no way of knowing that Mayl had lied to him. Was there anything else? Only that the village elders are meeting tomorrow evening to talk about your nomination. I was planning to speak against you, Jena said cheekily. You surprise me, he said, not believing her at all. Just be honest, Jena. I'm not really expecting this to succeed. It damn well better, Reji growled. They should have had you instead of Colonel Jiv to begin with. Jiv's a good man, Reji. He's rigid. I'd like to see him make a new life as a Prij. I think he was a perfectly good nomination, and he's Darshianese. So are you, or so you keep telling us. Anyway, I plan to vote for you, but I might have to knock you down if you ever hurt my boy again. You can give it a try, Reji, Arman said dryly, knowing that the man would stand no chance against a combat-trained soldier. But can we talk about this some other time? I really do want to go home to Kei. As you wish. Just remember your promise. I will. Goodbye. Goodbye, Jena.

With relief, he felt the connection with the other two close, and then he thanked Neka for her help, wondering what on earth she had made of all that, and being very grateful indeed for her discretion. His head was really pounding now, and much as he hated it, he took the rare liberty of requesting the clerk in the foyer to order up a calash from to take him home. The house was quiet – Pira was in the kitchen looking at a recipe book, and smiled at him as he put his head in the door to say hello before he wandered out to Kei's workroom, guessing from the smells that Kei was brewing something up. At least this time it was rather pleasant, a fresh leafy scent, though he was hardly in a mood to appreciate it. Kei was bent over a small tabletop charcoal burner, stirring something in a metal pot, and looked up as Arman came in. "Come here," he said. Arman obeyed, and as soon as he got close to Kei, Kei laid a hand on the back of his neck, even as he continued to stir his pot with the other. The pain melted away immediately, and Arman sighed in relief. "Thank you," he said sincerely. "You're welcome. Architects?" Kei asked, pulling him nearer for a kiss. "No, Reji and Jena." "Oh. Why do I think this is going to be a long story?" "Because it is." Arman got a tall stool so he could sit while Kei continued his work. Kei slipped an arm around his waist. "Tell me, if you had a choice between me as a father, Mekus or someone like Mykis, who would you want? If you were Karik, that is." Kei grimaced, presumably at the mention of the hated Mykis. "You, of course. What a stupid question. But you're not his father." "No. But Mayl and Mekus told him I was, legally I am – and more than that, he clearly believes me to be, from what he said on the boat. Reji doesn't know what to say to the boy – frankly neither do I. If I'd known what a mess this was going to turn out to be, maybe I should have let myself be fooled by Mayl's lies sixteen years ago." "Which would have made a completely different mess, of course." Kei lifted his hand and gently stroked Arman's cheek. "This is really upsetting you. Why?"

Arman kissed Kei's palm. "I've angered two friends because of my behaviour towards their beloved son. Is that not enough?" "It's no small thing, I grant you. But this fatherhood thing is also bothering you." "Which it pissing well shouldn't. Karik is no kin to me. He's not my family. He's nothing to me at all." "Hmmm, if that were true, you wouldn't be so out of sorts, Arman. Family is more than blood. I've always considered him as much my nephew as Keiji is, and not just because Reji calls me brother." "Yes, but you can't have children, I can." Kei blinked. "Now where in hells did that come from? What has my fertility got to do with it?" "I...." Arman stopped, utterly confused. "I have no idea. I don’t even know why I said that." Kei bent and shut the little grate on the stove, which would make the fire die down, then put a lid on his pot before putting his arms around Arman. "You've just spent a month with your real family. Maybe you wish you could bring your real son to them, be a father like your brother." "Jena says I'd make a rotten father." "Jena's talking out of her arse," Kei said firmly. "Love, you need to sort this out with Karik. Make your peace with him, and with them. It's not his fault he's not your child, and not yours that you're not his father. But it's wrong to say you've no tie with him, and just pushing him back to them will never satisfy the lad." Arman laid his head on Kei's shoulder. "Reji wants me to talk to him in the summer. I really don't want to do that. I don’t know what to say to him. I already tried and failed." "You just need to keep trying. He's worth the effort, I know he is." Privately, Arman had to wonder if the boy really was, but he recognised his emotions were colouring his judgement, and Kei was a far better judge of people than he was. "Just to add to the ironies of this day, Tijus' papers arrived."

"About the guardianship?" Kei straightened up. "Good, let's sign them and send them back. I'm very honoured by the trust, and whatever Jena says, their children would be safe in your hands." "Mari said something about wishing the Prij weren't so obsessed with blood connections. You don't seem to give a damn about them – is it because you're Darshianese?" Kei smiled. "I wouldn't say I was any more typical of the Darshianese than you are of the Prij. I know plenty of people who care about the blood connection – maybe I don't because I'd always known I would have to make a family another way. I don't think you give much of a damn about blood either. I think you give a damn about loyalty and honour, and Mayl betrayed both of those." "If Karik just didn't look so much like her...." But even as he said it, Arman felt there was more to the odd pain that seeing Karik always caused. He didn't look that much like Mayl that Arman couldn't easily separate the two. Kei didn't notice his private reservations. "Yes, it's disconcerting, though he's changing as he's getting older. Maybe it will get easier over time to talk to him because of that." He hugged Arman tightly. "And now you're getting another headache. We've got months to think about this. Let's not do that tonight and before we go back in the summer we can decide how to deal with Karik," he said as he kissed Arman's brow. "But I'll talk to Jena too. They need to understand how hard this is for you. They see it from Karik's view. I want them to see it from yours as well." "With so charming an advocate, how could I possibly fail?" "Flatterer. Now shift that handsome arse and let me finish in here – I have to take this lot with me to the prison. Then we'll eat the soup Pira's making and then I plan a long bath, massage and possibly some wild, depraved sex to make up for having to spend the night away from you tomorrow." "Now, see, this is just the kind of plan we could have done with more of in the army." Kei stuck his tongue out. "Make love, not war. It's very simple." "Indeed it is."

After three weeks back, Karik thought he should be settling in. Superficially he was. He started work again with his father and Risa, and had taken over the care of the newborn and sick animals without missing a beat. A letter had come from Gyo, expressing his friend's joy at his homecoming, and his apologies for getting them in the mess in the first place – Karik had replied to that right away, telling Gyo it hadn't been his fault and to stop punishing himself. He wouldn't see Gyo for months, but he would probably need to keep saying the same thing over and over. It had been Karik's own fault for telling Gyo in the first place. Perhaps Arman had been right to be angry with him, but it would be months before he could say that either. But things had changed, and unless Karik was buried in his chores, or his books, he couldn't help but see that. People looked at him differently now. Some with pity, some with curiosity, and some with the same hostility that Jos had, though they were few in number. Conversations dried up as he came into view, others were held in low voices with looks sent his way, and it seemed to him that fewer people dropped around to see his father at the stables, or at their home, than used to. Meran was a bright exception, and now she had got over her odd attraction to him, they were friends once more, much to Jos' displeasure, as Karik well knew. Meran had learned a lot about healing in the two months Karik had been gone, and was fascinated by what Karik told her about Darshek and the academy. "I can't wait to go to finish my training," she told him as Karik mended a bridle, sitting on a hay bale in the stables. "I want to see the ocean, and the ships, and the library and the academy.... It must have been exciting...I mean, apart from all the other things," she added, looking a little embarrassed. "It wuh-was interesting," Karik agreed neutrally. "Do you think you'll go back, Karik?" He shook his head. "I'll wuh-work with Pa." "But he goes to Darshek all the time." "N-Not travel. Just h-here." She rubbed a piece of straw between her fingers, her bright eyes looking at him intently. "Ka-chi, you're the smartest person I know, next to Ma and maybe Pa.

Why don't you want to do something more? I really want to be a healer, but you'd be better than me. You know so many things." "I cuh-can’t. I cuh-can't sp-speak to p-p-people. And I'm Pr-Prijian. P-People wuh-want a fuh-familiar face wuh-when they're sick." She frowned. "But you're familiar – you're just Karik." "Meran, I don't wuh-want to t-talk about it." "All right." She stood up. "I better get home and help Ma. Are you going to the meeting this afternoon? Fedor's got something to announce." He nodded. He knew what it was Fedor was going to say, but it wasn't for him to tell people what he knew because of his parents' position. "I'll s-see you there." "Yes." She bent and kissed his cheek, a sisterly habit she'd adopted which now longer made him blush. "You'll always be my Ka-chi. I don't care what anyone says." The remark didn't cheer him up as much as she probably hoped, though he was grateful for her kindness. What was so ironic was that little more two months ago he would have been just as eager to go to Darshek as Meran was now. Part of him still yearned for that vast pool of knowledge the library represented and to be able to study with Kei. But he had come close to losing all that was precious to him by indulging his curiosity, and he would not risk that all again, however unhappy he was now. His parents, being among the elders, took their places next to Fedor and Syra at the head of the square. Karik kept to the back of the assembly, curious to see the reactions to Fedor's news. The clan head called for attention, and everyone settled down. "As you all know, your elders have been getting opinions about the nomination for a new Ruler, and I've finally had the views back from the outlying settlements. The majority opinion is for the nomination of Arman of AiAlbon, but there has been some dissent. Before I make the final decision, I'm going to ask for a vote here. Those for the nomination of Arman to the position of Ruler, raise their hands?" A veritable forest of hands were lifted, including those of Peit and Urki, Karik noted. A far smaller number were against, and only five people abstained. Fedor looked at his companions and nodded. "That reflects the views expressed to me, so I will be giving our clan's approval to the nomination."

Well, that had gone over without any difficulty, despite his father's reservations. Fedor had some other business to announce to the clan, but Karik wasn't interested in hearing it, since his parents had already told him what he was going to say. He should get back to the stables, but he'd been inside all morning and decided to stretch his legs and maybe climb the tree that overlooked the one in which a lot of the smaller birds had set their nests. It was a week or so too early for the young ones to hatch, but soon there would be chicks, he knew. It was a beautiful day, as bright and clear as one could want, though it was bitterly cold. As he walked past the beast pens and the jombeker stalls, the young animals, many born in the last week, were suckling hard, the jombeker kids fighting each other for the teats, while the urs beast calves stood with splayed legs as they bent under their mothers' bellies to feed. He watched them for a while, taking note of the sickly calf which now seemed well on its feet again. It was a male, which was good – it could replace the one that had been killed after attacking his father. His Pa had sworn to buy no more southern animals, and was going to breed as many locally as he could, although he wanted to improve the quality of the stock with outbreeding with other clan's beasts. He was already talking to the traders in Ai-Tuek and Ai-Beyto about consolidating the herds in exchange for them taking over some of the trading travel for Ai-Albon. He was serious about giving up the route, but he also wanted to make it easier for Risa and his fellow traders in the future. Pa had big ideas, though the villages were often slow to change their ways. It was why he wanted Arman as a Ruler, he said. Arman was someone who understood the need to change and grow. Well, he'd got his wish, Karik thought. Not everyone was happy – there had been a few frowns and grumbles of dissent as Fedor had made his announcement, though the real arguing had gone on in private. Most of the objections were simply because Arman wasn't Darshianese, but Karik gathered that a few people had questioned the nomination because of his role in the war. That part of the discussions his parents had glossed over, though whether for his sake, or for his mother's, Karik wasn't sure. Arman's actions as a soldier were just one more thing to confuse his image of the man. He still couldn't reconcile the two opposing views of Arman he had – the good friend, beloved of Kei, a man admired by many and now trusted enough to rule wisely on behalf of the nation, and the callous killer, the faithless husband, the person who had been so coldly unkind to him. And this enigma was his father, strange and impossible to believe though it was. Karik couldn't see any resemblance between himself and Arman, but then he'd had so little in common with his mother. Was it entirely down to who had raised him, that he was who he was? Or would he one day develop that carelessness of

other people's feelings that both his real parents had displayed to him? Was Arman's capacity for cruelty and violence buried in his own breast too? These thoughts had been a preoccupation for a while now, and he had no more answers now than when he'd left Utuk. His father – Reji – had faith that just talking to Arman in the summer would solve everything. But then talking was a lot easier for his father than it was for Karik. "I guess you're happy now one of your kind is going to be a Ruler." Karik turned. Jos was leaning on the rail of one of the pens, around the corner of the stable. His friends – four boys of his age or a little younger, were lounging alongside him. "If y-you have a pr-problem, talk to Fuh-Fedor." "I d-d-don't w-w-want to t-t-talk to F-Fuh-Fuh-Fedor, you freak. I'm talking to you. You Prij don't belong in Darshian." "Is that r-right?" Karik said, turning away and resuming his walk up to the trees. He didn't feel like putting up with Jos' shit today. But Jos had other ideas. "Oy, I'm talking to you!" Karik's coat was grabbed roughly from behind, so hard that he stumbled and ended up on his backside, staring up at the looming boy now standing over him. "L-let me go," he said coldly. Jos' friends gathered around him, and Karik had a sudden flashback to when he'd been eight and this boy had held him down and scrubbed dirt into his skin so hard that he still had faint scars on one arm. Jos had received a caning for that from his father, one of the only times Karik could remember any child being thus punished. It had made quite the impression, especially when Fedor had had his talk with the other children about laying off the teasing. Jos had been content to show his feelings with words after that – until now. "So I guess you'll be sucking up to Arman as usual when he comes to stay? I guess you'll expect us to call you Lord Karik too, will you?" Jos aimed a kick at him, which Karik barely dodged. "Are you Lord Karik now? Like that other pissing Prij?" "L-Leave me alone." He tried to get up but Asa, one of the older boys, pushed him back down to the ground. "Wuh-What do you want, Jos?"

"What do I want?" Jos bent down. "I want you out of the village, you freak. I want you away from our girls, and sent back to Kuprij where you belong." Karik tried to stand again, but Asa pushed him down with a hand on his shoulder. For the first time, he was beginning to be afraid. Jos' expression was ugly, and there was real hate behind it. "I've d-done nothing to you." "You've done plenty. Just breathing is enough." What did the boy want Karik to do? He was only a boy himself, did Jos expect him to just pack his bags and leave on his say so? "Just l-let me up, Jos." He fought to keep his voice calm, as if Jos was a spooked beast. "I'm n-no threat." He kept his expression carefully neutral as he got to his feet, this time unchallenged. "I'm just g-going for a walk. I d-don't wuh-want any trouble." Jos was watching him with a sneer on his lips, but he said nothing. Karik forced himself to act as if this was just a minor misunderstanding, and began to walk towards the waterhole. He hoped Jos was just angry about the vote and maybe about Meran spending so much time with him, and that this temper of his might die down to the same low level animosity as usual. He thought he'd got away with it as he continued to walk slowly away, trying to seem as normal as he could. But then footsteps rushed up behind him, and he had no time to react at all before the first blow came, knocking him to the ground. All he could do was try to protect his head, which left his ribs and stomach exposed, and his back too, which attracted a good many heavy kicks and left him gasping for air. A booted foot kicked at the arms covering his face, catching his lip and splitting it, and another sliced open his chin, but he still managed to protect his eyes, even at the cost of the cruel pain to his forearms. He twisted his face into the dirt and curled up as much as he could but the kicks went on and on. If he could have drawn a deep breath, he would have yelled for mercy, but he couldn't. He couldn't take much more of this. Dully he wondered if they really meant to kill him – with all the adults at the meeting, there was nothing and no one to stop them. But he was wrong about that. "Jos! What are you doing!" He didn't dare uncover his head to look, but he knew the voice. He wanted to tell Meran to keep the hells away from this, but he couldn't seem to uncurl at all. All he could see was the dirt and shadows from the boys around him, but he didn't want to uncover his eyes to look. "Jos! Karik! Oh gods, what have you done! Get away from him!"

"Meran...." "I said, get away from him!" Feet shuffled in the dirt, and the shadows blocking the light lessened, but still Karik continued to protect his skull from an unexpected kick. His head throbbed from the single blow to the back of his head, and his body was a mass of pain. Shadows shifted, and he sensed Meran had knelt by him. "Gods, Karik, what have they done? Are you hurt? Karik?" She pried his arms away from his head, and gasped at the damage to his face. "I need to get Ma...oh, Karik, why did they do this?" "D-don' know," he whispered. "Help me, Meran." She didn't want him to sit up, trying to insist he lay still while she fetched her mother, but he was afraid if she left him, there would be nothing to stop Jos returning and finishing what he'd started. He made her help him to stand, though it took some time, and when he finally got upright, his legs felt weak. He couldn't stop shaking. "Stables," he muttered. "Ka-chi, you can't...." "S...stables." His teeth were chattering. Shock, he realised dimly. She had to half drag him as he leaned all his weight on her slight form. All the time, he was terrified Jos would return and take revenge on Meran for helping him, but he knew she would not leave him. The stables would offer a little shelter. It took forever, every step painful, and his legs threatening to give out at every moment. At last they reached the stable and Meran helped him down onto a pile of straw, covering him with her own coat. "I'm getting Ma," she said, her pretty face twisted with worry. Karik could only nod and hold himself as he trembled. He hurt so bad. Had they done real damage? He didn't bother asking himself why they had done this. No one seemed to need a reason any more to hurt him. She seemed to be gone a long time. He was so cold and scared. He wished she would come back. Would Jos find him before she did? "Gods. Karik."

His father, running towards him. Ma too, kneeling down beside him. And Myka as well. She took charge, since his Ma seemed too overcome to do more than hold her hand over her mouth in horror. He wanted to reassure her, but his mouth was dry and it seemed very hard to talk. Myka opened his coat and lifted his shirt. She asked him some questions about where it hurt, and what had happened, which he did his best to answer through his dry mouth and split lip. "Reji, I need him where there's more light. Can you carry him back to your house or shall I get Meran to find a litter?" "I've got him, Myka." His Pa's face came close to his. "I'm going to lift you, son. It might hurt a little. You're safe now. Just trust me." At that, the tears he'd been trying to hold back – tears of relief, of pain, of lingering terror – began to trickle out even though he squeezed his eyes shut. His father's strong arms went under his knees and back, lifting him effortlessly. Karik turned his face into his father's coat, hoping no one would see him like this and be glad he was hurt. At the house, Myka asked Meran to take his Ma aside while Myka treated him. He was glad of that – didn't want her to see the damage done to him. His Pa laid him gently on the long chair, and Myka put a cushion under his head. Her gentle, careful hands stripped him of his upper garments – his Pa tugged on his boots, and then his trousers were rolled off as well. Now he was really cold. "We’ll get a blanket in a minute or two, Karik," Myka said soothingly, seeing him shiver. "I just need to see where you're injured." She looked into his eyes, and asked if he had a headache, had he been knocked out and so on, as she wiped the blood from his face. Then his father turned him over at Myka's direction, and he gasped as she probed deeply painful places on his back and thighs. Her examination seemed to take forever, but finally she was done. "You've got some very bad bruising there, Karik, although I don't think they've managed to crack any ribs. I don't think there's anything worse than that, but we'll keep an eye on you. I'll clean those cuts but they don't need stitching. If you start to have blood in your piss, or it's painful, or anything changes, we need to know." Her skilful hands began to apply chuo sap ointment to the bruises – the relief was immediate, and once she was done, Meran brought a sheet and blanket to cover him. Myka wiped his face with the nitre weed which stung like fury in the cuts for a few moments. His Pa fetched a cold cloth to press against his mouth and chin.

Finally Myka let his Ma come over. She knelt beside him and laid her hand on his face, as his father put his arm around her to hold her close. He looked pretty upset too. "Don' cry, Ma." "I'm sorry, son, it's just...why did they do this to you? Reji, we need to find those boys...." "We will, love, but I don’t want Karik left alone just yet. They won't go anywhere, and they won't escape either." That fierce tone in his father's voice promised nothing good for Jos and his friends. "Thank you, Myka." "Yes, thank you," his mother said. "I couldn't...." "No, you couldn't, Jena," Myka said, laying her hand on her friend's arm. "It's different when it's your own children. If it had been Keiji or Meran, you'd have done the same for me." Meran came to her mother's side. "Ma, should I stay and help?" "Jena?" "I'd like that, Meran. I'm sorry, I just can't...." She wiped her face with her hand, smearing tears all over it. "It just reminded me...." Suddenly she buried her face in Pa's chest, and he held her close. "Reji, maybe you could take her upstairs for a little while," Myka suggested. "Meran and I will stay with Karik." His father made his Ma stand, and then helped her from the room. Karik was distressed by all this – he'd never seen his Ma so upset before. "Wuh-what's wrong?" He swallowed. His mouth was still so dry. "Meran, fetch Karik some water, will you?" She helped him sit up with the aid of more pillows. "How much pain are you in, Karik? Do you want some pijn?" "N-not yet. M-maybe to sleep." His head was probably the worst – the back of it and his neck really ached. A lot of the other pains were dulled by the chuo sap, though every time he shifted, his muscles complained and he could feel the damage deep inside his body. He hoped it was only bruising he could feel. "Yes, that would be my advice. Thank you, dear," she said, accepting the mug from Meran and helping Karik drink from it. "You'll be a lot more sore tomorrow – some of those bruises are very deep and I don't like the position of

them. I don't want you dosed up on painkillers until we know if there's some worse problem." His shaking had eased, and now he just felt very tired. "Wuh-what's wrong with M-Ma?" Myka brushed her hand through Karik's hair. "Apart from seeing her darling boy hurt, I think it might be something she's remembering from the war. Kei gets like this sometimes – it's strange, the smallest thing can set him off. She'll be all right, Karik. Your Pa is taking care of her. And then we'll take care of those boys," she added in a harsher tone than he'd ever heard her use. "Why would they do such a thing?" "I'll never speak to Jos again," Meran said, her eyes bright with anger. "He had no right to do that." "No one has, dear," Myka said. "I don't understand where Jos gets it from. His parents will be horrified." "I d-don't want trouble," Karik whispered. "It'll j-just make it worse." "Yes, it might do, Karik, you're right. But we can't let something like this pass. They could have crippled you, and if you'd not been wearing your winter coat, they might have done so." He'd never seen Myka look so angry before. "I think we all could do with some tea. No, Meran, you sit with Karik. Let me put the water on, and then I'll just go up and see how Jena is." Meran sat on the floor and took Karik's hand. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "Jos is angry with you because of me, I think." He raised a hand and touched her cheek. "N-no. Because I'm Pr-Prijian. He said." "Then he's an arse," she said. "I'd much rather have you as a friend than a dozen like him. What if I hadn't stopped him?" "You d-did. That's all that m-matters." Gods, he was tired, but he didn’t want to fall asleep before he'd spoken to his Ma again, and his Pa was right – this chair was rock hard when your body was already sore. He saw Myka slip up the stairs to find his Ma. He couldn't hear his parents talking. What had his mother remembered? Was it the deaths of her friends? Or something worse....

"Karik?" "Huh?" "You're squeezing my hand really hard." "S-Sorry." He shifted, but was quite unable to get comfortable. "H-Help me sit, M-Meran." She thought he should stay down, but if all that was wrong with him was some bruising, he could sit, he knew. Besides, the feeling of helplessness that being prone gave him was unpleasant. He couldn't help feeling a little fearful of a new attack, even here in his own home. Would Jos wait for him to emerge and try again? He shivered – he knew Jos could have killed him, and if he and his friends had been full-grown, they would have done. Was that what Arman had been like when he'd killed people? Was that how soldiers were? The kettle boiled and Meran got up to make the tea. Karik pulled the sheet and blanket tight around him, still shivering. Jos reminded him of Mekus, the way he despised someone for just what they were. Mekus couldn't see past the colour of the Darshianese, and Jos was the same about the Prij. All that mattered to them was the difference. The tea was made and Karik was clutching a mug between his hands, glad of the warm on them and in him from the tea, before Myka came downstairs again, followed a few steps behind by his parents. His Ma's eyes were still red, but she wasn't actually crying as she came to sit on the long chair with him. "I'm sorry, Ka-chi. I didn't mean to fall apart on you." He leaned on her. It's all right, Ma. How are you feeling? Why don’t you lie down again? Because it hurts, he said simply. But I'll be fine. He wanted to be strong and brave for her. She'd had so much worry lately. Myka handed out more mugs of tea, then his Pa cleared his throat as he took a seat on the other chair. "Karik, while Meran's here, tell me what happened. I'll need to report this to Fedor. It's too serious not to." The two women nodded at his words. "I saw you at the meeting. Then what happened?" "I wuh-went for a w-walk. Juh.... J-Jos s-stopped me. S-said he wuh-wanted me to leave the v-village for good. Th-then he...he and the others...." Karik

shuddered, remembering the way the boots had thudded into his body, and how terrified he'd been. "And you said nothing to provoke him, or did anything?" Karik shook his head. "I didn’t think you would have. Fedor will ask, that's all. Meran, what did you see?" "I was looking for Karik in the stables and I saw the other boys. I didn't know what they were doing until I got closer and saw they were kicking Karik. They had no right to do that," she said indignantly. "I shouted at them and made them stop. Then I helped him to the stables." "Thank you for doing that, Meran," Jena said. "That was brave of you." "I was just angry," Meran said, looking at Karik. "Ka-chi's never hurt Jos, and Jos is stupid, some of the things he says, always going on about the Prij and how he hates them. He doesn't even know any Prij, so how can he say that?" She was forgetting what he was, Karik thought, which was rather sweet of her. "Thank you, Meran. Myka, you and I should go and talk to your father. Karik, Fedor will probably come and see you after that. Do you want to stay down here or shall I carry you up to your room?" While the chair was hard, it would be awfully embarrassing to have to talk to Fedor lying in bed. "Stay h-here." "All right. Jena love, do you mind staying here with him?" "Don't be stupid, Reji. Meran, will you stay too?" "Sure, aunty Jena. I can look after Karik for you," she said a little cheekily. She bounced back fast, Karik thought. "Thank you, dear. Go on, Reji. Find those damn boys." "We will," his Pa said with a grim expression. Karik wouldn’t want to be in Jos' boots when his Pa caught up with him. He was still very cold. "M-Ma, can you help me g-get dressed?" She started – she'd clearly been lost in her thoughts. "Are you sure, Karik?"

"Please?" "All right, dear." She picked up his trousers, but at the sight of the boot marks on the cloth, she gave a little sound of distress. "Oh, gods," she whispered. "Let me, aunty Jena," Meran said, taking the clothing from his Ma. "Ka-chi, do you want some clean trousers? These are filthy now." Karik was very grateful Meran was taking charge. He told her where to find a fresh pair of pants, and she carefully helped him dress, then wrapped the blanket around him again and put the pillow behind him. She ended up sitting on his Ma's other side, holding her hand. "It's all right, aunty Jena," she said gently. "I'm sorry, Meran. I just...." She smiled painfully. "When it's your own child...and when it’s just pointless violence.... I think I just got another crop of grey hairs. Look," she said bending her head down to Karik to check. "Y-Yes," he said solemnly, playing along. "F-five more. R-Right there." "Don't be silly, Karik," Meran said. "Only three at the most." "Three's bad enough," his Ma said, giving Meran a hug and then putting a careful arm around him. She was softer than the chair so he had no conscience about using her like a pillow. "This shouldn't happen. Not in our own village. Not our own people." But that's the point, Karik thought. Jos didn't think of him as 'our' anything. He was falling asleep, leaning heavily on his Ma as she and Meran talked quietly, when Banji and Meran's little brother came looking for her. Outside it was getting dark – it had to have been a couple of hours since he'd been hurt. "Myka told me what happened, Jena, " Banji said, taking a seat. Keiji sat on the floor near his sister, and gave Karik a worried-looking smile. "I'm sorry." "Not as sorry as Jos and those other boys will be," his Ma said. "Where's Myka?" "Coming along in a minute. Karik, are you all right? You look like you should be in bed." Karik mumbled that he was fine but he'd like some tea. As Banji got up to make it, the door opened again, this time to admit his Pa, Myka and behind then, the clan head. Meran and Keiji brought chairs over from the kitchen table – it was getting really crowded in the little room. Fedor was given the best chair in

deference to his position and his age. Karik tried to sit up straighter to show respect but winced as his bruises complained. "No, you sit still, son," Fedor said. "Sorry we kept you waiting here so long, but I wanted to speak to Peit and Urki, and then to Jos and the other boys. Karik, I'm sorry this has happened, more than I can say. No child should suffer this way, and certainly not at the hands of other members of the clan. I apologise for failing to protect you." Karik swallowed nervously, rather overawed at Fedor apologising to him. "Now, I know Jos and Asa and the others are still children too, but it's not the first time they've hurt you, and from what Myka told me about your injuries, I can't regard this as just a childish quarrel. If they had been grown men, I would banish them – but if they'd been grown men, I think I'd be talking about the first murder this village has ever known," he added, his mouth turned down in a grim line. His mother's arm around Karik's shoulders tightened slightly, and his Pa's expression became a match for Fedor's. "I don't mean to upset you, Jena." "No, I understand, Fedor. What are you going to do?" "Peit and Urki are upset, as you can imagine, and very sorry this has happened. I think they'll call on you tomorrow to apologise in person. I thought about making the boys themselves do that, but I don't think they'd mean it, and I doubt you'd believe it, would you, Karik?" He shook his head. A forced apology would do nothing. "That's what I thought, and really, this is too serious for that. The boys have admitted the attack, so there's no need for a clan court. My judgement is that the five of them shall do dirty work for a month, and they shall also be shunned for that length of time. I'm going to call a meeting tomorrow morning to announce it." "Sh-Shunned?" Karik looked at his father. "It means that no one in the village other than their parents will speak to them, or help them, or interact with them at all," his Pa explained. "When they're not working, they will have to stay in their houses, in their bedrooms. They won't be allowed to talk to each other either. With any luck, they might come to realise that the harmony of the clan and cooperation between us all is more important than their imaginary grudges." Karik thought about it, and then shivered again. While he liked his solitude, to be ignored by everyone.... "But ah-afterwards?"

"Well, son," Fedor said, "I hope they learn their lesson and leave you alone. But I can't make Jos like you, and your parents know when you were first brought to the village, it was this kind of thing I was most afraid of. You've always made your own course, Karik, and you're a fine lad. I have no doubt you'll achieve more than they ever will, which I think is one of the reasons why Jos is so jealous of you." "J-Jealous?" He stared in frank astonishment at the idea of anyone being jealous of him. "Of course. The boy feels threatened by you, although I know you've done nothing to him. Unfortunately you're all at the age when the males start circling the she-animals, and he thinks you're competition. Most of us dealt with that competition in rather less violent ways, of course, but Jos thinks with his fists. It's a habit he needs to unlearn, and fast. I'll have no thugs living in this village." Fedor stood. "Are you all satisfied with this judgement? Jena?" "It's really Karik who needs to be satisfied, Fedor." "Well, son?" "It's f-fair." Karik couldn't think of what else Fedor could do. Banishing boys that age would mean their families would have to leave, and twenty or so people leaving a village would be a heavy blow. Besides, there was a lot of satisfaction to be gained from the idea of his attackers being set to work on the really filthy jobs in the village for a month. People could be really inventive about finding things to do when there was a punishment needed for some offence or other, rare as they were. "Good. Now you rest and get well. We've only just got you home, son, and I don't appreciate one of our valued workers being laid up through stupidity." Reji showed the man out. Banji poured out the tea he'd been quietly making as Fedor was delivering his news. "Shunning for a month, that's pretty hard. I feel sorry for Peit." "Then he should have taught that boy better manners," Reji snapped. "If that boy harms my son again, there really will be a murder in the village. You should have heard him, Banji. You'd think Karik was the source of every ill in the world just because his skin is pale."

"Well, he's not the only one who thinks like that, you know that," Banji said, sitting down again. "If Arman weren't so well-known here, it would be even worse. People don't like what's not like them." "I like Karik just fine," Meran said stoutly. Her father smiled at her. "Yes, Mer-chi, because you're a very intelligent girl." "Yes, she is and she saved Karik's life today, I'm sure of it," Reji said. "Meran, I will be forever in your debt." "As will I," Jena added quietly. Meran blushed and looked down in embarrassment. So sweet, Karik thought. "I think we can both be proud of our children, Jena," Myka said. "Now, my patient looks like he needs to go to bed, so I'm calling a halt to these proceedings. If he can sleep without the pijn, I recommend that." "Yes, agreed. Thank you, Myka. Your family has been a blessing to mine today." "As yours has been to mine for years. Don’t be silly, Jena," she said, grinning at her friend. "Banji, let's get everyone home." She bent and kissed Karik on the cheek. "I'll come and see you tomorrow, Karik. Try not to fret about it too much." "I wuh-won't." Keiji solemnly offered Karik his hand to shake. "I'll come and visit you tomorrow and I'll show you the stones I found in the mine." "Th-thanks, Keiji-ki." Meran bent to kiss his cheek as her mother had done. "Th-thank you, Meran," he whispered. "Can I come and visit you too?" "Yes. I'd l-like that." "We can all come over then," Banji said, "but the lad needs his rest. Come along you lot."

Banji herded his family out the door and not a minute too soon, Karik thought. He was at the end of his energy, and he really felt awful now. Tired, in pain, a little sick to his stomach, and depressed at the thought of being injured and in the way he had been. Jos was going to really have it in for him now. "Right, son, let's get you to bed. I won't even think about suggesting you sleep down here." His Pa bent to lift him up, but Karik insisted on trying to stand up. His legs gave away immediately, and he cried out from the pain the sudden movement caused him. "Like father, like son," his mother said tartly. "Now, Karik, I don't want to put up with what I did when Reji got injured. You've got more sense than him, so show it." His father gave Karik a strained smile. "Now you see what you'll have to put with – they just wait for us men to be helpless and then you find out what they're really like. Up you come, son." He picked Karik up easily, while his Ma gathered the bedding Meran had brought downstairs. Karik was carried up the staircase with no more effort than if he'd been a pillow, then placed carefully on the stripped bed. His Pa helped him undress again, then he was covered up with the sheet and blankets. By the time it was all done, he was shaking with pain and exhaustion but at least his bed was soft, and once he stopped moving, the worst of his hurts stopped making him want to scream. "I'll leave you two alone. Karik, don't you even think of getting out of that bed without help – you call me if you need to get up to piss or anything." His Pa brushed his hand across Karik's hair, and patted his head. "A good night's rest will do you a lot of good. Just relax, son." His Ma sat on a chair beside him and took his hand. She didn't speak, but she stayed with him until he finally dropped off into an uneasy sleep. His dreams were dark that night.

Chapter 4 "So it's agreed?" Lord Peika asked his companions. "The nomination is accepted." The other Rulers nodded, but Arman wanted them to be sure. "The vote is not unanimous," he pointed out. "It doesn't need to be," Lord Meki said. "It's only three villages, and I think, considering the circumstances, that's better than we could have hoped for." "Yes, but...." "Arman," Lord Peika interrupted. "One would think you didn't want this nomination after all." "I do...I just would have liked a stronger mandate." Lord Meki snorted. "You have all of us, the Gifted, all the city leaders, four out of the seven clans, and an endorsement from the Rulers of Urshek. Don't be greedy." Lady Nera gave her colleague a serene smile. "You'll have to start speaking to him a little more respectfully than that, Meki. Arman, in time even those villages will see you are worthy of this. Don't worry about them." "As you wish, Lady Nera." "Now, now, you have to drop the 'Lady' if you're one of us." "Well, with respect, I'm not one of you, not yet." "Soon have that fixed," Lord Peika said cheerfully. "We can have the ceremony in a week, and then you and Jiv can pack your bags and head to Andon." "You don't need to sound so pleased about it." Two months away from Kei.... And the worst thing was that there was no realistic way to bring him along. Neither of them wanted Kei to just be treated as a companion, but although he had many talents, planning seaward defences wasn't one of them. Kei would be far more useful at the academy and they both knew it. At least the Andonese weren't hostile hosts.

"Come, Arman, you'll enjoy it. Put that military mind to its proper use for a change," Lord Jiv said. "Thank you, my lord, but I rather thought I'd been doing that all along." "Don't argue, you two," Lord Meki said peaceably. The man had been looking very smug since the last results had come in from the rural clans. "Arman, you don't have to leave for a month or so, but you and Jiv should start work immediately in preparation. The ceremony will be as soon as we can decently arrange it, and then you will have the proper status to deal with the Andonese officials." "Yes, my lord." "Right," Lord Peika said, clapping his hands together. "I'm off to my family. Meki, are you still coming to dinner?" "Of course. Arman, I'll speak to you tomorrow." Arman nodded, and waited until the Rulers left before following them out. He still felt uneasy. Ai-Rutej's rejection of his nomination wasn't a surprise – there was personal history there, and the clan elders had always been hostile to him. But Ai-Kislik and Ai-Beyto's rejection had been unexpected, though the decision had been a narrow one, or so the clan heads had reported when they'd cast their vote on behalf of their people. They had, he thought, no more or less reason to dislike him than any of the other villages, and indeed, two that had very good reason to hate him had come through in the most unequivocal manner in support of him. The undercurrents of animosity worked in unpredictable ways, clearly. Kei was waiting for him in the foyer, which surprised him – usually Arman had to dig him out of his office at the academy. His lover looked upset, rather angry in fact. "What's wrong?" "Let's get out of here and I'll tell you. Is the nomination approved?" "Yes, all done." Arman took his hand as they began their usual path back towards the house. "Is it something at the academy?" "No, back home. A group of boys attacked Karik after the village meeting to approve your nomination. They nearly kicked him to death, Reji says, just because one of them was upset about a Prij becoming a Ruler and took it out on Karik."

Arman stopped dead so he could look at his lover. "Oh, gods, Kei. I...that's appalling. How badly hurt is he?" "Badly enough. Deep bruising all over, knot to the back of his head and cuts. No broken bones or internal bleeding, thankfully. But if Meran hadn't stopped them, Karik might not have survived – it was a serious attempt to kill him, apparently, so Reji said. Jena's completely distraught." "Yes, I can imagine. I'm truly sorry, Kei." Kei grimaced. "It's not good enough, Arman! How dare those children hurt a boy like Karik? How could they even think of trying to destroy what he is, just because of the colour of his hair?" "Are you sure he didn't provoke them?" Kei gave him a fierce look. "The boy can be annoying enough when he sets his mind to it." "And for this, of course, he should be kicked to death." Kei let go his hand and strode off, clearly furious at him. "Kei, wait!" He ran to catch up with his lover and made him stop. "I didn’t mean that – I was just trying to understand why he would be attacked." "Because he's different, that's all. Smarter, quieter, paler. The same reason you Prij brought war to our country all those years ago." "A fair point," Arman said, angered himself at the 'you Prij' comment. "Though I don't recall kicking a child to death for fun. It must have slipped my mind – I've committed so many crimes, after all." "Gods." Kei stood, clenching his fists at his side. "I'm sorry. Even I'm doing it, aren't I? What does it matter where someone was born, or what they look like? We're all human beings. Karik, you, I don’t care what colour your skin is, I look at the souls, and I find them both good." "But not everyone is you, Kei. For good or evil, Karik and I are Prijian and that won’t change. Come on," he said, tugging Kei's arm and making him walk in the direction of the house. "You know, my father said something which is quite true. Karik is entitled to know of his heritage. If the boy is going to suffer for it, maybe he should learn what it means." "So we send him back to Utuk, is that your answer?"

"No, of course not, but perhaps instead of denying that Karik is Prijian and trying to pretend he isn't different, Jena and Reji should be teaching him to be proud of it, so he can show his attackers that he's not ashamed of his background and that they can't use that against him." "And how do they do that, when they know nothing about being Prijian?" "I don't know, Kei. The boy might not even have an interest, not after what's been going on." Kei grunted and walked along in silence. Arman wished he had an answer. Whatever he thought of Karik, this attack was a dreadful thing – and Arman knew he was in part responsible for it, because his nomination had definitely stirred up old hatreds and emotions. Karik shouldn't have to suffer for it. No child should. "There's one thing we could try," Kei said, after a few minutes' thought. "We could bring him back here so he can meet people like Vikis and Kesa, and the Prijian masters at the academy. And you and he could talk. Maybe if I suggested Reji brings him up to stay with me while you're away . We could take him home when we go back in the summer." Arman stopped again and looked at his lover in exasperation. "Kei, I just went to a good deal of trouble to get that child back to Ai-Albon and you want him to leave again?" "I know you just went to a good deal of trouble, you idiot," Kei said impatiently. "I'm just putting the idea forward. Jena said Karik's been depressed since his return, and I doubt this attack will help at all. Reji said he's given up hope of coming to work with me, and he thinks that's partly because of you being so harsh towards Karik. I just thought we could try and settle the conflict between you, and I could give the lad a taste of what he can be doing in a year's time." "Look, if you want company while I'm in Andon, fine, but I think you're placing too much on my shoulders. I know I was overly hard on the boy, but I don't know if I can settle things with him, and at the moment I just reinforce all his negative views about the Prij. For all you know, his coming back to Darshek could just make it all so much worse for him." "But if he does, will you at least try to settle things with him?" Arman really didn't think this was a good idea. He just never seemed to be able to get past the boy's reserve and his own confused emotions, which had only

grown more confused and tangled over the years. Their last meeting had seemed to set the seal on their estrangement, and Arman very much doubted the boy would really want to speak to him again. But for Kei's sake he would do much more difficult things than speak to a sixteen-year-old boy who hated his guts. "If he does, then I will try, certainly. I can make no promises." "Then I'll put it to Reji in a few days. I'll give it some thought, talk to Vikis. You're probably right, Reji and Jena won't want to have him go away again, but it would be a good opportunity and I can rightly plead that I'd like the company. Karik is hardly likely to be enticed onto another ship, after all." "You don't think staying with you is endangering him enough? You can get into trouble all on your own, you know." Kei shook his head at his teasing lover. "Only because you encourage me. If you're gone, I would be the model of propriety." "You just want to play father, admit it." "I want to make sure Karik isn't lost. Clever, enquiring, thoughtful people are rare, Arman, and even rarer is to find those qualities allied to a good and loving spirit. I want this. I want you two to make peace. For your sake, his sake and mine. Promise me." "I promise I will try. But you must promise to accept that I might fail." "You won't," Kei said simply. "You mended things with your father. Karik will be easy after that." "Hmmm. Possibly." Kei didn't mention it again, and Arman left it to him to discuss with Reji and Jena. He, after all, was going to be away for quite a while and it would be ungenerous in the extreme for him to place any obstacles in the path of Kei having some welcome company during that time. It was what would happen on his return that bothered him. But he had a lot more than a possible confrontation with Karik to occupy his thoughts. The week prior to the confirmation ceremony passed in a whirl of meetings and preparations both for the ceremony and the upcoming mission to Andon. The Andonese ports, did not benefit as Darshek did from geographical barriers, and until now, the country had relied on a rather inefficient and costly system of ships to protect and warn of any of attack. They had been negotiating

with the Darshianese for some little while now to have some of the best engineers and architects, weapon makers and strategists, to come and thoroughly assess what could be done better, and to train those who would be needed to implement any plan. They had not dealt with Arman directly because of his unofficial position, though he had been advising the Rulers on how best to approach things. Now he could handle discussions directly and he couldn't help the thrill of being once again a lynchpin in a crucial activity, of holding responsibility in his own hands, and being answerable on his own account, rather than by proxy. There was no doubt at all that the acceptance of his nomination had been a real tonic to Lord Meki too. Though the time available to help the elderly Ruler had actually decreased, just having Arman finally able to officially take on extra duties seemed to have eased a good deal of the stress for Lord Meki. As Arman emerged from yet another interminable meeting with the Andonese, conducted by translators of indifferent skill on both sides, he thought rather sourly that Lord Meki had taken entirely too much delight in shoving those extra duties onto him. But there was no denying that it was going to help the man last a good while longer, at least if Kei had anything to say about it. It was only a bare week after the nomination was approved that the confirmation ceremony was held. The Darshianese were not great ones for pomp and the most extravagant of their ceremonies would be scorned as poor and shabby by the Prijian nobles, though they were generally cheerful affairs, with food and drink and dancing to liven things up. So it was no surprise to Arman that his confirmation was a typically brief and forthright matter, the chief purpose of which was to simply allow him to be shown to as much of the population as could squeeze into the main square in front of the House of the Rulers. Still, by Darshianese standards, it was a big event, and the weather being fine, and there always being time in Darshianese life to stop and enjoy some free entertainment, there was an enormous crowd waiting to see the new Ruler. Just the official guests numbered nearly two hundred, by the time all the Gifted, the clan heads and proxies, the senior healers, the academy tutors and masters, the higher ranking army officers and of course all the Rulers had been accommodated. Naturally, Kei was seated with the rest of the academy, dressed in his little-used formal blue robes, and winking at Arman in a way that made him want to laugh out loud. Which, of course, would not do. He forced himself to listen politely as Lord Peika addressed the assembly, giving a formal account of the votes for and against Arman's nomination, and reading out commendations from various worthy citizens, including his official clan head, Fedor, and Lord Meki. Finally, Lord Peika announced that Arman of Ai-

Albon was herewith confirmed as a new Ruler of Darshek, and Arman was summoned up to the dais to receive his new red robes, a colour reserved for the Rulers alone. Peika shook his hand and presented him to the crowd, who cheered enthusiastically. If there were any dissenting voices, they were thoroughly drowned out. And that was it, over and done. After that, it became even more informal. For some minutes, Arman was surrounded by well-wishers – Kei, as a sensible person, didn't even try to fight his way to his lover until the most enthusiastic had done their bit. It was Reis and Jera who finally dragged him over to where Kei and the Gifted were waiting for him – among them, Wyma, making a very rare public appearance. Arman bowed to the elderly soul-toucher respectfully. "Thank you for accepting me for this honour," he said, knowing that without Wyma's approval, none of the Gifted would have supported him. Kei came to his side as he waited for Wyma's response. The old man was still seated – he was too frail now to stand for long, and Reis had carried him from the house of the Gifted to attend the ceremony. "Your spirit glows brightly today, Arman. It is right that this has happened. Good for Darshian, and good for we Gifted folk." "Yes, it is," Reis said, as ever no respecter of dignity or formality. "Now we get to keep you here forever!" Arman smiled at him. "Why, were you afraid I was going to run away, Reis?" "You nearly did," he replied, pouting a little. "We thought you would never come back from Utuk." "I would surely have come back," Arman said, taking Kei's hand. "The body can't live without a heart, and my heart is here." "You're such a romantic," Kei said contentedly. "And that colour looks wonderful on you." "And that on you. Perhaps I should insist you wear the robes all the time." Kei batted his eyelashes at him. "Will you call me master if I do?" he said sweetly, causing several of the listeners to choke with laughter, and Wyma to cough as if he thought these young people today were terribly silly. "Sorry, Wyma."

"Oh, it doesn't bother me, Kei. I love to see you both together, it's such a beautiful thing to experience. Only, Arman...there is...a shadow...." He started to gesture, but then he clasped his hands to his chest. "Forgive me, my boy, I'm being terribly rude." "Not at all," Arman said, puzzled by what Wyma was talking about. After all, he felt perfectly fine and happy, and looking forward to what he had planned after this ceremony was all over. "Is there a problem?" Wyma pinned him with his usually gentle eyes, now sharp. "Not yet. But you must take care of your heart, Arman." "Yes, of course." Sometimes Wyma could be very cryptic, but this was more than usually obscure. Kei squeezed Arman's hand. "We should go speak to the other guests." "Then I will talk to you later, Arman," Wyma said. "Jera, please take us home now." The mind-mover obeyed immediately – Wyma ruled the Gifted with a loving hand but a firm one, and even the skittish Reis never disobeyed his few and kindly orders. Arman and Kei waited politely for the soul-toucher and his companions to leave, to the wonderment of the crowd who rarely saw such a blatant exercise of the tremendous powers of the Gifted. The Gifted were, out of necessity, usually rather discreet about what they could do. Arman had seen their powers displayed many times, but then he was in a unique position. Most people rarely saw anything remarkable at all, though all knew and accepted that the truly Gifted existed among them. "What did he mean?" Arman murmured as he smiled and waved to Reis and the others. "I honestly have no idea," Kei muttered. "How long do we have to stay here?" "Why, sick of pomp already? You'd never survive in Utuk." "I knew that already, my lord. No, I've had a lifelong ambition to have sex with a Ruler and I was wondering when you were planning to help me fulfil it." Kei was still smiling sweetly at the crowd and his voice had been kept low, but Arman found himself flushing with embarrassment – and not a little excitement. Even used as he was to Kei's exhibitionist tendencies, he'd not exactly expected

him to proposition him in this setting. "You are an incorrigible brat. There's food and drink to be had, aren't you interested in that?" "I can eat and drink any day, but I've never had sex with a Ruler before." "Don't you ever think of anything else?" "Are you telling me you do?" "Kei, I should be making myself known...." Kei swung him around. "Arman. All of these people already know you. None of them is offering to have sex with you. Do you see the essential difference between these two things?" Arman was struggling not to laugh, horrified as he was at Kei's lack of respect for the dignity of the event. "You are utterly, utterly depraved, Kei. A danger to public morals. As a Ruler, I really should do something about you." Kei laughed. "That's what I'm saying, idiot." He tugged on his hand, dragging Arman along behind him through the crowds. People bowed to him and offered him congratulations, calling him 'my lord' which definitely sounded odd after all this time in Darshian. Kei smiled and greeted people back, but was relentless in towing Arman through the masses. Arman's robes helped part the crowd quite nicely, and he struggled to keep a semblance of decorum, torn as he was between wanting to spank Kei and kiss him breathless. He didn’t know what had got Kei so eager all of a sudden, but after a busy few days when they had both been too tired to do much more than bathe and collapse into bed to sleep, he was feeling deprived and wasn't going to turn down his lover's offer, however oddly timed. The House of the Rulers was bustling with the invited guests, and servants bearing trays of food and beer. Arman stopped and spoke to those who accosted him, but each time, before long Kei began to tug insistently, though discreetly, on his sleeve, and Arman would have to excuse himself. He realised he was being taken away from the public areas, and had an idea where they were going – an apartment had naturally been set aside for him in the House, he knew that, though he'd not seen it, and hadn't planned to use it until he got back from Andon. As Kei led him through the House, the demureness of his expression belying the devilry in his smiling eyes, Arman realised that he was headed towards the residential wing. "Where are you taking me?" "Your new rooms, of course."

But the rooms he'd chosen were on the south side. "Yes, but...." "These are nicer," Kei said, "so I insisted on you having one of these instead. If I'm going to be using it too, I wanted the best they had." Now that really didn't sound like Kei. "Yes, but...." Kei stopped and put a finger on his lips. "Do you want everyone to know what you're up to?" Arman resisted the temptation to bite the naughty digit. "How long have you been planning this?" "Not long," he said airily, leading Arman up the stairs. "Liar." "You wound me, my lord." They finally arrived at a door, which Kei opened. He bowed. "Your chamber, my lord." There was something familiar about this room.... "This is the one...." "The very one." Kei grinned. "Possibly even the very sheets." "You asked for this room because it's where we stayed the first time?" "No, stupid. Because it's where we first made love." Arman put his hands on Kei's face. "And you call me the romantic?" He leaned in and kissed Kei's lips. Someone had been drinking beer on the sly before the ceremony, he discovered. "And so, Master Kei, are you planning to re-enact that momentous event?" "Well, my lord Arman, not exactly re-enact. I'd like to think we're a bit more comfortable with each other now." Arman pulled him close, and slid his arms around Kei's waist. That blue colour really did suit him, he thought. "Every time," he said, "every time is wonderful with you. I never get complacent about the gift you gave me." "Nor I, but that’s why I want your first act as Ruler to be to make love to me. You are my lover first, Arman, Ruler second. You can count on me to remind you," he said, a stern tone in his voice, but laughter in his eyes.

"I shall," Arman murmured, nuzzling at Kei's neck and licking the slight saltiness from his skin, even as his hands snuck around to Kei's back, finding the tail of the braid and unfastening it. He carded his fingers through the long fall of silk as Kei let his robes slip from his shoulders to pool on the floor, then pushed his own to join them, dark red upon the azure. "Such disrespect for the robes of office, my lord," Kei whispered against his cheek. "We could have sex on top of them, I suppose, but the bed is softer," he said, as his hands began to unlace Kei's best shirt and trousers. Kei seemed rather amused at his eagerness, and stood smirking at him until Arman had unlaced everything. "Stir yourself, you lazy brat – you don't need me to take them off your legs." "You're definitely the rudest Ruler we've had for a while." Arman slapped the perfect bottom now revealed as Kei kicked off his boots and removed his pants. "You need a firm hand, you always did." Kei took Arman's hand and put it over his cock, making his need of a firm hand right there very clear. "Strange how our minds work so similarly," he said as he pushed up into Arman's grip, while he began to undo Arman's lacings in turn. "Oh...I'll snap a lace.... Arman...." Arman tightened his grip on Kei's erection, and carefully fisted a handful of hair at the back of Kei's head. "Don't care about my pissing laces, I want you. Bedroom, now." "Yes, my lord, of course, my lord." Arman released him and Kei began to saunter towards the other room, tossing an entirely provocative look over his shoulders. Arman began to undress faster. He should have known that Kei would have everything ready – the bed turned down, flowers set around the room to make it sweet-smelling, and on the side table, that very useful tido sap cream which was so good for chafing... and other things. Kei was kneeling on the bed, his wonderful hair spread around him, and Arman took a moment to admire this man whose beauty had only increased with age, as had his own desire and love. "The first time I saw you naked, I was so frightened this gift would be taken from me," he said, coming over to the bed. Kei held out his hand, and drew Arman down. "Ironic that it was my fear of loss which so nearly kept us apart," he murmured, kissing him, soft knowing lips

caressing his, perfect teeth nibbling gently. "Did you ever imagine this day, back then? That you would be so part of us, so important to us that you would one day lead this country?" "Never. I only had two ambitions – to have you, and to make you happy. And if they took everything else away from me, those would still be all I wanted." "Then you are fortunate in that I am yours, and I am very, very happy, Arman. I was so proud, watching you today, but I was even prouder back then. To do what was right against so much opposition, to give everything up...." "Not everything," Arman said, taking Kei into his arms. "Not the most important thing. And the things I thought I had lost have come back to me so I am richer by far than I was." He lay back on the bed and pulled Kei on top of him. "Now, did I hear something about your lifelong ambition was to have sex with a Ruler?" "Indeed, my lord." "And do you think you want to be the one to do the having, or will your cock wilt in front of my majesty?" Kei rolled his eyes and laughed. "Not hardly, my lord. Is this your subtle way of asking me to be on top?" "I wasn't aware I was being the least subtle," Arman said with a grin, even as Kei swept the mass of his long mane out of harm's way and reached for the pot of cream. "What, straight to it? No romancing first?" "Well, there's always a risk of my cock wilting, after all." Kei bent and kissed his chest, then swiped his tongue across Arman's nipple, making him shiver. "Maybe I should just eat you," he said in a low voice that made Arman's hands on Kei's hips grip harder with excitement. "Please, Kei...." "As you wish, my lord." He slid back off Arman's body and knelt between his legs, running his hands down them. "Beautiful," he murmured, bending to kiss Arman's stomach, and then the top of his cock, before stroking his hand down it and cupping Arman's balls in his clever, healing hands. "Hmmm, they don't weigh any more. I thought Rulers had balls of stone." He laughed in delight at Arman's expression. "You still take sex far too seriously, my love." "Look, you infuriating creature...."

"Now, now, a little decorum please." Arman sighed. "Kei, please?" Kei's smile grew even brighter. "You know I love to hear you beg." "Huh, and here I was thinking your true love was the sound of your own voice." He wriggled a little in pleasure since Kei had finally begun to prepare him – he loved the feel of Kei's long fingers inside him, and knowing what was to follow. "One of these days I'm going to gag you, just to see if you can make love without talking." "I suspect I can't, but you're welcome to try. Gods, Arman, I could watch you forever – you love this, don't you? The way your face changes.... To think that I can do this for you, that you trust me to let me touch you this way...what more could I ever want than this?" He reached out his hand and Arman grasped it. "I can't imagine anyone else doing this, or ever wanting anyone to touch me...please, Kei. Please," he begged, ashamed in his need, lifting his legs over Kei's shoulder, and bringing their clasped hands down to his erection. "I am your lover first," he vowed. Kei shifted, and the bluntness of his cock against him promised to give Arman what he needed – but still he paused. "Without the ones that I love, nothing I do means a thing," he said quietly. "Without you, my life would be dry as the earth of the plains." He eased himself into Arman's body, and sighed, his face slack with pleasure. Long and slender though Kei's cock was, it always felt big inside, and Arman had come to welcome that sense of being filled almost to bursting. He welcomed that when he was joined in this most intimate way, he could not be closer to Kei, could not show any more completely how much he wanted him, needed to be with him. With each thrust, Kei claimed him, with every movement, Arman welcomed him, and the only regret was that they could be not like this forever, his body filled by Kei, his nostrils filled with the warm, clean smell of Kei's body, seeing only Kei's intent face, the beauty of his long, lean body thrusting with measured power, Arman's whole world narrowed to the two of them here, in this bed. Kei tormented him with long, slow movements, in and out, every motion controlled and careful and considered, bringing him to the edge over and over until Arman was babbling with the need to come. It took only a few firm strokes

of Kei's hand on him to bring him to climax, and only a few more hard thrusts before Kei yelled his name, his body rigid as he spilled. And afterwards, as he held Kei, panting and sticky, still joined to him as he kissed Arman languidly, Arman silently renewed his vow to his lover. Kei first, always, in his heart, wherever their duty led them, for howsoever long he lived.

Chapter 5 Karik tried to be unobtrusive as he limped up the main street to the stables. He really didn't want a repeat of the encounter he'd had the day before with Asa's mother which had left him shaking. There were a few people around in the square and in the street, but most ignored him. He got a couple of looks, but he ignored them as he walked as quickly he could manage to the sanctuary of the stables. He'd not felt this exposed since he'd been forced to sit at table with Mekus in Utuk. Risa was cleaning out one of the stalls, and smiled in welcome when he spotted him. "Oh, hello, Karik. Should you be up and about?" He came to take Karik's arm and help him over to the toolbox to sit. Karik needed the help. It was ten days since he'd been attacked and he still couldn't move easily, or fast. Still, it was better than it had been – for the first three days, he couldn't even get out of bed unless his father carried him. Myka had finally had to dose him with pijn to let him get any sleep at all as the bruises came into their full flowering and he stiffened up. Now all the aches were receding into the background, although the actual damage was slowing him down, and he still had healing cuts and scabs on his face as a highly visible reminder of what had happened to him. "I'm fuh-fine. I just wuh-wanted some air." "Yes, I'm sure. Where's Reji?" "T-Talking to Fuh-Fedor. Ma's with M-Meis." "So you made a run for it, did you?" Risa came and sat next to him. "How are you feeling?" he asked kindly. With anyone else he would have been brave, but Risa was one of his closest friends now, after the journey north together. "Not so g-good," he admitted. "Not surprised. I can't believe something like that happened, I really can't. It's the worst thing I can remember since the war." Karik chose not to tell him that so far as some people were concerned, Asa's mother included, the war and the punishment of five young boys were both crimes directly attributable to him 'and your kind' as she'd put it. To hear her talk – and she'd given people plenty of opportunity to do so – Asa and Jos and the others would have led utterly blameless lives if Karik hadn't come along and put trouble in their path. Exactly what Karik had done other than exist wasn't clear to him, but she hadn't been the only one to make similar remarks in his hearing.

Certainly neither she nor her husband had called on his parents the way Peit and Urki had done, and neither had the other fathers and mothers. Karik knew his Pa was furious about it, but as Fedor said, forced apologies were worthless. At least Peit and his wife had been genuinely regretful, and had promised that their son would not lay a finger on Karik or anyone else again. They'd offered to do whatever they could to make it up to Karik, but just the fact they'd offered and meant it, was enough for him. It hadn't taken away the sting of Asa's mother's words, or the shame of being dressed down by her in the middle of the street, two of her friends listening and nodding, as if Karik had been the one to have done wrong. At least his Ma hadn't heard it. She'd had enough to put up with lately. "Keiji and Meran keeping you company still?" "Mmmm. Keiji f-found some r-red feathers. M-Meran's going to m-make a hhair cl-clasp." He described a circle in the air to indicate the shape. "For h-her to wear." "Well, you won't be needing one for a while," Risa said. "What a year you've had, Karik, and I bet you used to think it was so dull in the village." "D-Dull is good," he said fervently. Dull would be very nice indeed, but it seemed to be something he never got to enjoy any more. "Well, dull is fine for a while, or if you're content with the same thing all the time, but I wouldn't have thought you would be." He got up and picked up the broom he was using to sweep out the stalls, and continued with his work. Normally, Karik would have helped him – he hadn't been able to do chores since he'd been hurt, and that, almost more than anything else, made him depressed. He hated feeling like deadweight. The lack of anything to occupy his thoughts had only increased the sense of dislocation from which he'd suffered since he'd returned, and he knew that even once Jos and the other boys had finished their sentence, their animosity towards him would remain and indeed be worse than before. Fedor couldn't keep punishing them – sooner or later, someone would have to leave. He had a sinking feeling he knew exactly who people thought it should be. "Are you all right there, Karik? I've got to get on with this, but if you want company...." "N-No. I'm f-fine. J-just want to th-think."

"Then you do that. I know with a family my size, I used to hide out in the stables too. It's probably why I ended up working with your Pa." Karik smiled a little. A man who understood the need for peace and quiet was a good friend to have. He watched Risa work for a while, lost in his own thoughts, when his father's voice from outside the stable door broke into them. "Karik?" He straightened up. "Here, Pa." "Your Ma didn't realise you'd left the house," his father said, coming inside. "She was worried." "S-Sorry." So it had come to the point when his mother didn't believe he would be safe just walking up the street where he had walked and played all his life. His Pa nodded at Risa, then came and sat down. "How are you feeling, son? Still stiff?" "A b-bit." "It'll take a while. My ribs still ache – mind you, I'm a bit older so things don't heal so fast." Karik nodded. "Sh-should I go huh-home?" "No, it's fine. I told Jena I'd come find you. I think the krack-krack chicks are hatched now. I saw the parents hunting – they were pretty busy. Have you been up past the waterhole? " "Not yet." "Do you want to walk up there now? I've got time, we could go together." Karik was tempted. But at the same time, it would mean walking past the forge where Asa had been set to work. "Mayb-be later, Pa." His father gave him a narrow look, then lifted his head. "Risa-ki, I forgot to bring that salve that Myka made up for that beast's leg. Maybe you could pick it up when you come back after lunch." "Sure, Reji. I was just heading off now. I'll talk to you later."

Karik looked at the two men in surprise – he thought Risa had said he needed to finish sweeping out. But Risa just waved cheerily and disappeared out of the barn doors, leaving Karik and his Pa sitting in the dim stillness of the stable. His Pa seemed a little uneasy about something, and Karik realised that he must have given Risa a signal that he wanted them to be left alone. He didn't say anything for a few moments, but finally he sighed. "You know I was just speaking to Fedor." Karik nodded. "Well, he, uh ... really Sira did...anyway we know what happened with Karo yesterday. What she said." "Oh." Karo was Asa's mother. "I didn't...." "No, I know you didn't. Sira gave her a piece of her mind after you went off. I'm sorry you had to have that happen to you." Karik shrugged. "Sh-she's his M-Ma." "She's a stupid bigot, if you ask me. I know she was in the village during the war, but none of her family suffered the way some others did, and it's not like you've got anything to do with that at all. No wonder Asa's such a fool." Karik didn't know what to say. Criticising an adult member of the clan wasn't his place, even if he agreed with his father. "P-Pa, I don't...wuh-will people always huh-hate me?" His Pa put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I don't know, Karik. I know there are many people who will always love you. I know there are more of them in this village than the other sort, but I won't try to convince you that you shouldn't mind about the others. It makes me realise what an easy childhood I had," he said thoughtfully. "But even in Ai-Darbin, there was a girl, a bit older than me, who had a squint, and she got a lot of teasing just because she looked a bit odd. People thought she was stupid because of it, which was far from the truth. She's married now to a lovely man, but it can't have been much fun for her growing up. The problem with our clans is that we're flexible about people leaving and joining, but when it comes to real change, or difference, we're as rigid as this." He rapped the wooden beam at the corner of the stall. "We look after our own, but some people have some funny notions about what 'our own' means." "I don't kn-know what to do, Pa." He hung his head. A squint was nothing compared to his looks. Even if you had a squint, you could still be Darshianese.

"Well, there are only two things you can do. You can bear it and let it make you stronger, or you can leave and make a new life somewhere else. Otherwise you just give up and let it grind you down, but I don't see you doing that." Karik wasn't so sure about that, the way he felt now. He didn't feel strong enough to do much else. "I c-can't leave. N-Not yet." "Actually...." His father leaned back against the wall. "I told Kei about what happened to you, and he was pretty angry about it, wanted to know what he could do to help. A couple of days ago he got in touch again and made a suggestion. At the time, your mother and I were pretty certain you wouldn't be interested, but maybe I should tell you anyway. Did you know Arman is going to Andon for two months? Kei's got to stay behind because of his work." "Oh." "And, well, you know I was going to go up to Darshek in a week or so...you can tell where this is going, can't you?" "I c-can't, Pa...." "No, wait, there's more to it than that. Kei doesn't just want you up there for company. He wants you to attend some classes, use the library. See if you like the work, and then next year, if you're interested, you can go back and attend a course for real, do the healer examination, only not to be a healer. I would stay with you both for a week, leave you with Kei and then pick you up when I come back on the next run." Karik shook his head. "I can't." The idea of being away from his parents made him sick. "D-don't make me, p-please?" he whispered, his eyes getting all scratchy. He wiped them on his arm, as if he'd just got some dirt in them. But his Pa wasn't fooled. He put a careful arm around Karik. "No one's going to make you do anything, son," he said, pulling close and kissing the top of his head. "Don't get upset, Karik, it was just an idea." "I d-don't wuh-want t-to...." He was shaking now. What if he had to leave them? What if all this business meant he had to be banished in all but name, to spare them the harassment he was getting in person? "Shhh, son, don't get worked up." "I'm s-sorry, Pa."

"Nothing to be sorry for, Karik. Hush now." His Pa offered him his own handkerchief and kept a close hold on him until he could stop shaking, and his sight was no longer blurry with tears. "It was just something Kei thought might help, that's all. We already told him we didn't think you'd want to be away from us again, not so soon." Karik nodded and sniffled, angry at himself for losing control. He was worse than a child, he thought. He started to get up from the box. "I sh-should go...." "No, wait a minute, Karik." His Pa kept a gently restraining arm around his shoulders to keep him seated. "We still have a problem with the way tempers are running now. Fedor says there's nothing he can do about it until someone does something he can take note of, but there's a lot happening short of that." His father peered at him with concern. "How about this as a compromise? You come with Risa and me anyway, we'll spend a week in Darshek and you come back with us then. That way you'll be with us, but it gives things a chance to cool off. I don't know that I'd be happy going north and leaving the two of you on your own for nearly two months, not right now. Your Ma might even come with us for a change. Or I could see if Lori will go with Risa this time...." "Ma? Do you th-think she m-might?" "Well why not? She's always saying she wants to go north again, and it's been ten years or more since she went to the academy. Would you like that?" Karik didn't even have to think about it. "Yes. C-Can we?" His enthusiasm seemed to make his father happy. "Why don't we go and ask her now? It'll take a bit of juggling, but damn it, I think this could be just what we all need. Some time together, and alone. Your Ma could do with the holiday, I think. Yes, this is a good idea." He grinned. "When we put our heads together, we make a great team, don't you think?" "The b-best." It was such a simple thing, but the thought of it made him the happiest he'd felt in more than a month. He knew it was only delaying the problem, but maybe the problem wouldn't be so bad when he got back – and this way, he wouldn't have to see Arman, at least not until the summer. His bruises didn't even seem to hurt so much, now he had something to look forward to.

"You know, I'd forgotten how much there is of Darshek," his Ma said as they began the final leg of their three week journey to the city, starting from the base of the mountain range to travel the long flat road to the harbour. "There's more of it than when you were here last, Jena. People will keep moving here. I think the last thing I heard was they were going to tax new residents." "So long as they keep them out of the dry regions, I don't care what they do to them. Now all those buildings are new, I know that," she said, pointing to a small settlement of houses, and the temple that Gyo had remarked on when Karik had travelled here the first time. "They call this bit 'Little Utuk' now. Prijian farmers, mostly, but there are some potters, glass blowers, that kind of thing. Kesa does some business with them, I believe." His Pa used the whip to point across a small farm to their right. "There, Karik, did you see those the first time? You were asking me about lemuls – there are some now, being taken across that field." Karik craned his neck – the animals were a long way off, but he could see they were bigger than jombekers, and heavier, with long necks and long ears. "FFunny animals." "Yes, they are, but damn useful. They don't tolerate lack of water, though. They need it for the milk, I suppose. Kei said the Prij don't drink the milk raw at all, which is a shame because it's good stuff." "Wuh-we had the cheese." "Yes, you probably did. It makes very good cheese and butter, but I do like the milk. Pity we can't keep one as a pet," he said, winking at Karik's Ma. "I won't have one of those great hairy things in our garden," she declared. "It was bad enough when Karik was in his hisk-keeping phase. We need the space for herbs, and I'm damned if we're going to waste water on something like that. You'd do nothing but haul buckets from the pump all day." "Yes, love, I'm only teasing," his Pa said, putting his arm around Ma's shoulders and kissing her temple. She settled against him and smiled. It did Karik's heart good to see them like this.

It had been a wonderful trip, and even Risa was clearly enjoying himself. They hadn't needed two extra people since they weren't carrying anything like such large loads this time, but the companionship of his parents and the speed had meant the journey was a lot less boring this time around. Of course, with the spring now started, there was more to see, more plants, more animals, more colour and life. This time he had his father's knowledgeable commentary, and the chance to discuss all he was seeing with his Ma, which he had so missed the first time. He had still been a bit achy when they'd left, but even with camping out, he was healing fast, helped by the massages with tirsel cream he was getting from his Ma every night. She'd teased him about having his own personal healer just like the sovereign of Utuk, but he knew she was relieved to see him getting better. Just being away from the village had taken a load off all them – the strain that had been a constant feature in his parents' expressions disappeared within a day of them rolling the wagons out of Ai-Albon, and he immediately began to sleep better, for all the hardness of the camp beds and Risa's soft snoring. He'd had hardly a single nightmare since they'd left. He had wondered how his mother would like the travelling, but she took to it like she was born to it, which surprised him a little until she explained she'd been born on a remote farm and had done many a long trip to Ai-Rutej when she had been a youngster. "Then of course I had to come all the way from there to Darshek to do my training, and there was also moving up to Ai-Albon with you, young man. So I'm not as feeble as you think I am," she'd added, poking him on the nose and making him laugh. And now they were soon to be at Kei's house. Knowing that Arman was not going to be there took a lot of the anxiety away, and the only worry Karik had was that Kei would somehow hold him responsible for Arman's anger. But he doubted Kei would – after all, why would he invite him to come stay if he was angry at him? There was no doubt his Ma was happy at the thought of seeing her dearest friend again. Summers were always so much fun because Kei was there, and he and his Ma were almost like brother and sister, they were so similar in the things they did and said. When Myka was with them, it would be impossible to say who was blood kin and who not, since Myka looked as little like Kei as Karik's mother did. All Karik knew was that things got very noisy with the three of them in the same room. The unloading and stabling of the beasts took less time with the smaller load they had brought up, and his Pa snagged a lift as soon they were ready to head

towards the city. Karik and his Ma sat at the back of a cart, their legs hanging over the edge as the vehicle trundled along the sea front. "Mmmm, smell that," his mother said contentedly. "I really miss the sea. I went swimming a few times when I was studying, but it'll be too cold this time of year. Arman will be freezing his balls off in Andon for sure. There'll still be snow there even now." Hard to imagine with it already feeling warmer than early summer to Karik. They'd all shed their coats, and it was amazing to think they had been clustered around the stove of an evening before they'd left. "M-Ma, did you ever wuh-want to live here?" "In Darshek? Yes, I suppose I did once, on and off. When Kei and Arman left, I wanted to go with them, partly because I missed them both, and partly because I envied Kei having all those lovely books to himself," she said with a smile. "But I don't think I'd have enjoyed it much, and the village needs both of us. Kei leaving still meant we had two healers. If I left, there'd only be Myka, and your Pa is important to the village in all kinds of ways." Karik nodded, even as his heart sank a little. It meant that if he ever did leave, he would have to do it alone. The thought still made him feel cold and sad inside. She was touching him, so she sensed his sadness. Don't fret, dear. Your happiness comes first with us. If we have to leave Ai-Albon to achieve that, we will. I don't want you to leave if you don't want to. I just want to live there too. And you will, if that's the best thing. She pulled him close and kissed his forehead. Just enjoy the time here. Things will work out, I'm sure of it. He wasn't sure at all, but he wanted her to enjoy herself here so he pushed the dark thoughts aside, and concentrated on all the sights and sounds he'd had so little time to enjoy the first time he'd come here. Same as for the dry regions, spring had come to Darshek too, but because of the warmth and the rain, the modest blush of growth boasted by the plains was here a riot of colour and scents, with flowers growing in gardens, in the fields and even trailing up into the trees which were extravagantly green with their new leaves. The people too seemed new-dyed in their light spring clothing that was cut from much brighter colours than were worn by the villagers. He had to admit it was all invigorating, exciting even, and he half wished they would have longer than a week before returning. His father hadn't set a definite limit on their stay, but Karik knew they would have to return with the goods and supplies that the village needed within a

reasonable period. It would be unfair on Myka to make her handle the village's needs on her own indefinitely. His mother twisted to speak to his Pa who was riding with Risa and the driver. "Kei's at the house, Neka says." "And he has no idea?" "Not the slightest." Karik looked at his mother, who grinned. "Wait and see," she said, putting her finger to her lips. They were dropped off at the bottom of the road a few minutes later and they walked up to the house. This time, now he knew the secret of how it was done, Karik wasn't surprised that Kei flung open the door to greet them. But it was clear he hadn't been told everything. "Jena! What in hells?" He ran down the path and swept her up into his arms and swung her around as she laughed in delight. "Why...Neka!" Karik heard a chuckle in his mind. She told me to keep it quiet, Kei. You damn women, Kei said, shaking his hand in the air. "Gods, it's so good to see you, Jena. You too, Risa, and Reji," he added to Karik's Pa who was grinning like a fool at the joke on his friend. "Oh, Karik," Kei said, hooking him with an arm and pulling him close so he could hug Karik and his Ma at the same time. "Are you all right? You look well." "He'd be all right if you'd let us into the house to sit down," Jena said cheekily. "Oh, of course. Gods, Pira will have a stroke." But Pira just smiled and greeted them all warmly, so Karik had a suspicion that she'd had rather more warning about his Ma's arrival than Kei had done. Packs were dumped and tea and sweet cakes produced in short order as they crowded into the kitchen. Kei insisted Jena sat on one side of him, and Karik on the other. "What on earth possessed you to come up here, Jena?" "Well, someone has to keep an eye on you since his lordship is off playing with the Andonese." Kei shook his head mock-ruefully. "Damn, and here I was expecting to run nightly orgies."

"We'll need to order more food if you want to do that," Pira said sedately as his Pa laughed, and then laughed harder at Kei's shocked face. "I'm used to you now, boy." "Dear oh dear, I've finally corrupted everyone," he said, his hand placed dramatically over his breast. "Are you all just here for the week? Don't tell me you've come all this way only to stay such a short time, Jena." "I don't have much choice, Kei, you know that. Your sister's awfully good to hold things together for as long as she's agreed to. So just make the most of it while we're here." "Oh, I will. Pira, where will they all sleep, for goodness' sake? Reji, I'll put you in my bed, I think." "Not for the first time," Karik's Ma said sweetly, sipping his tea. Karik was amazed to see a slow blush started to burn up Kei's cheeks, right up to the tips of his ears, and when he looked at his father, his Pa was shaking his head at his Ma. "Jena, you're incorrigible. Kei, we don't need the big bed." "Oh, you're welcome to it – shut up, Jena – it feels so damn lonely without him. I'll share with Risa-ki and Karik and you two can have mine." Jena cuddled close to him. "Has it been hard, Kei? I know how much I hate it when Reji's away, but I'm used to it by now." "I absolutely loathe it," Kei said with feeling. "It's not as bad as when he was in Utuk and I didn’t know if he was coming back, but, gods...." He shook himself, and put a forced-looking smile on his face. "But now I've got you all at least for a week. Tell me everything. Tell me about this business with Peit's boy first." As his Pa told the story, Kei held Karik's hand and that of his Ma. Strangely, this seemed to help Karik stay calm as the miserable story was revealed. "That Jos is a mystery to me," Risa said heavily as his partner finished. "I mean, Peit's just a gentle giant and I know Urki can get a bit emotional, but neither of them would harm a flea. Well, unless Peit could kill and skin it," he added with a little grin. "Urki punched me to the ground when I was ten. But I punched her first so it was only fair," Kei said, squeezing Karik's hand. "You're right, the boy is nothing like them in that respect. Strange how young Karik takes after you two so much, and a child actually born to Peit and Urki can be so different." He shook his head. "Maybe he'll grow out of it."

"And maybe he pissing won't," Karik's Pa said angrily. "I'm so ashamed of people in that village right now. They're talking about Karik like he's the one who's done wrong, and he's worth ten of them at the very least. What in hells does it matter that he's Prijian?" Karik flushed. "Excuse m-me," he said, pulling free of Kei's grip and making his way out of the kitchen. He couldn't listen to this any more, and he now wished Kei had waited a little longer to ask about it all. He used the washroom, and then made his way out to the garden, finding a seat on the stone bench next to the wall that was catching the late sun nicely. Like the rest of the city, it was ablaze with colour and new life, and though he knew Kei had planted most of the bushes and flowers for their medicinal value, still there was plenty of beauty, and the birds were delving busily among the plants for insects and grubs. It was so much simpler just to think about nature, the way everything fitted together in an endlessly renewing cycle. People were so much harder to understand, and so much more unpredictable. Krack-kracks and carchos didn't hate their prey – they killed to eat and to feed their youngsters. It wasn't like Jos had been planning to eat him. He gave a slightly wobbly laugh at the idea of Jos skinning him and taking him home to butcher, like his father did with wild jombekers. He leaned back against the wall. It wasn't funny really. He was just sick of being upset and frightened. These past weeks had been so wonderful, being able to forget about it for a while, and not just that – all that had happened before it. Right now, if he'd had to choose where he felt less welcome, he couldn't have decided between Utuk and the village. It was strange how he actually felt safer in Darshek than he did in either of the other two places. Maybe he should be a traveller like his Pa and just keep moving, and that way, no one could take offence because he wouldn't be around long enough to give any. He should go back inside. His mother would be worried, and at the very least, it was rude of him, although it gave the adults a chance to speak about him which he knew they wanted to do. But he just couldn't make himself do so. The sun was nice, the seat was comfortable, and he just didn't want to think about any of it. He half-dozed in the sun, still deliciously warm on his face though the length of the shadows meant it would be sunset in an hour or less. This was such a cozy place, nothing like Senator Mekus' garden in Utuk, which was enormous and formal but without the sprawling charm that came when you put plants in for interest and not for the sake of their perfect shape. The garden at his home was a bit like this, but the plants of the dry regions tended to be less bountiful with their leaves and flowers, except for the brief periods of the year when they

pushed all their energy into blooming, or setting seed. His Ma's plants were just grown in tidy rows for easy access, but someone – Kei? – had managed to mix utility with beauty here. Maybe he could try and do the same with their garden when he got back. He heard footsteps and turned to see Kei coming up the little pathway. "I see you've found my favourite spot. No, don't get up, Karik. Reji and Jena are having a bath, and Risa is talking to Pira. I've got you all to myself." He sat down next to Karik, leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes with a sigh. "Ah, this is nice. Sometimes whole weeks, even months, go by, and I haven't made time to just sit and enjoy the garden like this. I always seem to be out here cutting plants and flowers for work, but I can't seem to manage to just ... be." He laid his hand on Karik's shoulder and Karik felt a sense of peace wash over him. "I'm s-sorry for wuh-walking out." "I don't blame you a bit. It's an ugly story, and I'm sure you would like to just forget about it. I think it was wise of you to come up with your parents, let some of the heat go out of the situation, but you know and I know that the situation itself won't change, not in the short term at least. I won't insult your intelligence by saying that Jos is likely to change any time soon, though he might acquire some wisdom as he gets older and learns more about life." "It's n-not just J-Jos. Everyone...t-talks about me. Wuh-when I came back, it was l-like I was a str-stranger." "Yes, I can imagine it was difficult, with all the rumours that were probably flying around. The village has always been a gossip engine. I wish I'd been there to help, Karik. Damn it, that's the worst thing about living here and not there, when my family are hurt, I can't do anything." He rubbed Karik's shoulder comfortingly. "Reji says you were having nightmares. Has that got any better?" "A b-bit. I keep th-thinking he'll fuh-find me and k-kill me. Th-that I wuh-won't be able to s-stop him." Kei grimaced. "I know what feeling helpless is like. When I was a hostage, when I was first at Arman's house in Utuk, there was a servant there who was in charge of me. He kept beating me because I was slow, or didn't understand what they wanted. At least, that's what I thought he was doing it for – I realised after a while that nothing I could do would have been right for him. He just wanted to make himself look like a big man and I was a convenient way to do that. But I

couldn't fight back because if I had, the other hostages from our village would have been punished too." Karik twisted his hands in his lap, Kei's words stirring up all kinds of unpleasant emotions. "Wuh-were you b-badly hurt? D-Did my m-mother know?" "Jena...? Oh, Mayl. Uh, well, she saw some of it happening, I know that. Yes, it was pretty bad. If Arman hadn't stopped it when he did, well.... Let's just say it's a good thing he stopped it, or Mykis would have had to find another toy." Karik sat up in shock. "M-Mykis? D-Did he carry a c-cane?" "Yes he did...." Kei went pale. "Gods, don't tell me he works for Senator Mekus now? He didn’t hurt you too, did he?" Karik shook his head. "N-Not me. But the s-servants were s-scared of him." So his mother had brought Mykis with her from Arman's house, even knowing what he was like. "I don’t blame them – I was terrified of him. Still am," he added with a shudder. "Even now, I have nightmares about him every so often. But you know what was wonderful?" Karik waited for him to continue, since he couldn’t guess. "When Arman found out – he wasn't home much that first month and hadn't realised it was going on – he dressed Mykis down so beautifully, and he made sure I saw it. I remember feeling so grateful that someone would defend me like that. It was strange, seeing how I was still a prisoner, but he made me safe. He was just amazing that evening – I was in awe of him. When Arman decides to fight on your side, you feel like you can do anything." The fondness in Kei's voice would have been heart-warming, if Karik hadn't immediately thought that having Arman against you was about the worst thing in the world. "He really hurt you, didn't he?" Kei said quietly. Karik looked away. "It wuh-was my f-fault. Urso dying." Kei cupped his chin and made Karik look at him. "Listen to me, Karik. It wasn't. Not even Arman believes that now, no matter how angry he seemed to be then. He knows he was unfair to you, and he wants to talk to you about that. But don't go feeling guilty over something that you had no control over. Urso died because Mekus has had it in for Arman for years – long before you were born, long before I ever went to Utuk. In fact the feud goes back even before Arman was born. He's just a nasty, vicious old man." "My mo-mother m-married him. Why?"

Kei let go of his chin, but took his hand instead. "I don’t know, Karik. Perhaps because he's powerful and she liked that. I'm not exactly unbiased about Mayl, so maybe I shouldn't talk about her to you." "I d-don't know wuh-why... J-Jos hates me, my mo-mother sent me away...my fuh-father gave me away. Wuh-what did I do?" He rubbed at his eyes. "I just wuh-want to know wuh-why." Kei sighed. "After we got all the hostages back, they had the same question for Arman as you did – what had they done to deserve such horrible things? And he could only tell them that it wasn't them, it was the Prij, the Prijian sovereign. The hate that had built up in their minds had nothing to do with us at all." He squeezed Karik's hand. "It isn't you," he said gently. "How could it be, Karik? They don't know you." "But wuh-why does Arman...?" Kei gave him a rueful look. "Now, Arman's a different matter, but I can honestly say he doesn't hate you. The reasons he gave you to Reji and Jena were not about you, they were about him, his relationship with Mayl and a lot of other things that made him sure he couldn't look after you as he knew you deserved. Your mother...." He rested a gentle hand on Karik's head. "Some people don't know a good thing when they see it." So far as Karik could see, his mother never had a chance to see it, with Arman taking him away from her. But he trusted Kei and if he thought Arman would talk to him, then maybe he would. "J-Jos wuh-won't change." "No, I'm afraid he might not, just as Mykis won't. But you can't let him make you feel ashamed of who you are. Being Prijian is nothing to be ashamed of. They make very good lovers for a start," he said with a cheeky smile. Karik flushed. "I d-don't like the Prij." "You've met a few unpleasant ones, so you'll just write off the entire race, even if that means writing yourself off as well? I thought you were smarter than that, Karik." He scowled. "Th-they're mean and st-stupid and they huh-hurt people." Kei was giving him a look which Karik knew perfectly well meant he was being an idiot, which he knew he was anyway. "Well, yes, some of them do, I can't argue with that. But of course there are no stupid Darshianese at all."

"I d-don't want to be Pr-Prijian." Kei sighed. "No, I can see that. You've had pretty much the worst possible introduction to your people. But there are some good ones – a lot of good ones. You're a good one for a start, Karik. You're Prijian and you're Darshianese at the same time, just like Arman. You needn't be ashamed of that." He stood up and held out his hand. "The sun's going down, we should go in." Karik accepted his help to stand. "You've got taller since I last saw you." "L-Losing the br-braid made me sh-shoot up." Kei laughed and ruffled his hair. "Oh, that's a good one, I'll remember that. Let's go and get those lazy parents of yours out of the bath." As they walked back down the path, Kei said casually, "While you're here, I'm hoping you might meet some friends of ours that I wanted you to meet the last time you were here. You're not planning to go on board any more ships, are you? I can nail your feet to the ground now, if it'll save time." "No s-ships. N-Not ever." "Good, good, so long as that's settled. I'm glad you came up again, Karik. I'm going to make this a week to remember for you, I promise. You deserve a little bit of fun after all you've been through this year. Now I wonder if Risa's left us any cakes...."

Chapter 6 Kei was true to his word, as Karik knew he would be. The first thing they were to do was to visit the academy, Kei remarking dryly that it was fortunate that he was strangely at liberty to escort them, which comment make Karik's mother grin. Kei mock-scolded her and Neka for their plotting, saying he'd thought it was odd how his week's schedule had been mysteriously freed of meetings and teaching, and that he'd actually complained about it to Pira because he'd wanted to keep busy while Arman was away. Risa excused himself for the day – they were, after all, still up here on clan business which had to be done – but he insisted Karik's father stay with Jena and Karik since it was such a rare treat for them to be all together in Darshek. The very first thing his Ma wanted to do was to meet Neka again, since it had been eleven years since the two of them had seen each other in person, so Neka had arranged to come to the academy to meet them. Karik and his Pa watched the two woman greet each other with joyful cries and long hugs. "You look just the same," his Ma said, pulling back. "It's so unfair." "You're aging gracefully, Jena. I see you brought the reason for your grey hairs with you," Neka said, smiling at Jena's partner and son. "Come over, Karik – you remember Neka, don't you?" "Of course he does," Neka said, giving Karik a kiss and accepting a hug from Reji. "Oh, you have to come to the House, Meda and the others absolutely insist. They want to see you again and meet this boy of yours, since they've heard so much about him." Kei put his hands up. "All good things," he said hastily. "When, Neka? I wanted to take them to the library and then there are some plants...." "Oh, you and your smelly plants," Neka said, shaking a finger at him. "Dinner tonight? I already asked Pira if that was all right with her." "You've been busy, haven't you? Well, if Pira says so, I guess we’re allowed. But I want to steal them before that." "Of course, Kei. But come early? Wyma wants to be there and you know he can't stay up late these days." "We'll come for tea before sunset, I promise."

"Good. Jena, I have to go to the Rulers' House but I'll see you later." She hugged her friend and then waved goodbye to them. "Goodness," his Ma said, coming over to them. "The House of the Gifted – Karik, do you realise what that means? They hardly invite anyone there. You must have made a good impression on Neka." Karik didn't know what to say to that, but Pa did. "Well, of course he did, love – he's our boy." "Huh, then it's a wonder he wasn't barred from there for life," she said, grinning up at Pa. Kei took Karik's arm. "They never change, do they?" he whispered in Karik's ear. "N-not that I've s-seen." Kei straightened up. "Right, Jena, a little decorum please, and remember to call me Master Kei at all times." He looked offended at her hoot of laughter. "Do you see what I have to put up with?" he asked mournfully. "Oh, Master Pitis!" He hurried over to a Prijian man in blue robes who bowed low to him. "Come and meet my friends, Pitis." Karik stared at the newcomer, a short middle-aged man with a genial expression. He smiled at them all. "Welcome, I am Pitis." He nodded at Karik and repeated the same thing in Prijian, which made Karik flush in embarrassment. Kei cleared his throat. "Ah, Pitis, Karik's Jena and Reji's son – I told you about him. The discoverer of kariken? Jena of Ai-Albon?" Pitis smacked his forehead. "Oh, blessed gods, of course. My apologies, Karik. It's an honour to meet you," he said, bowing again. Karik bowed as he'd been taught. "I am honoured also, Pitis-gidu," he said in Prijian, remembering the correct phrase. He glanced at Kei who nodded in approval. "Please allow me to introduce my parents." He was amazed he remembered all that Prijian – those damn lessons had sunk in after all. But he switched to Darshianese for the rest of it. "This is my mother, Jena, and my father, Reji, of Ai-Albon." "Of course, I have heard of you, healer Jena. You're spoken of very highly here at the academy."

Karik was amused to see his mother blush like a girl. "I could never match your reputation, Master Pitis. Karik, the master is the one who discovered the properties of the yusus plant. He's doing wonderful work on pain relief – definitely one of our finest chemists at the academy." Karik nodded – he remembered his Ma's excitement when the news came from Darshek. The problem was getting enough quantities of the plant to refine – so the villages still made do with pijn, but his Ma remained hopeful that the yusus plant could be grown in larger amounts and thus supply all who needed it. "I wondered if you have read Master Jezinke's latest paper?" She began to enthuse to the man, who nodded eagerly as she spoke. Kei put his finger to his lips and signalled for Karik's Pa and Karik to come to the side with him. "I'm sure they'll be at this for ages," he whispered. "Come to my office." In a louder voice, he told Karik's Ma where they'd be – she waved at them distractedly and they left her to it. The whole morning was like that – meeting people, getting caught up in conversations, other people passing by and joining in. Even in the library Kei was waylaid, which he didn't seem to mind at all. Karik and his parents were drawn into everything quite naturally, and Karik soon forgot whether he was speaking to a Darshianese, a Prij or an Andonese. Several times he found his small amount of Prijian to be useful, to understand a phrase their companion couldn't quite make clear, and for the first time in his life, people were more impressed by what he was saying than how he was saying it. Kei took them to lunch in the small dining hall where the masters and students alike sat down to eat. "I think we need to catch our breath," he said as the food was brought to the table. "Karik, I'm amazed how much Prijian you know. You want to keep that up, it will serve you well." "It certainly will, son," his Pa said, sounding pleased with him. "You know more than I do and I've been trying to pick it up for years. Mind you, most of it's not fit for polite company." "Neither are you most of the time," his Ma said, cutting herself some bread. "Master Pitis was very complimentary about your accent, Karik. He said it was charming." Karik flushed. "I d-don't like speaking it," he muttered. "Why not? It's just another way of getting a message across," Kei said. "And with so many Prij in Darshek, not to mention the Darshianese in Kuprij, I think we should all try to learn the language. There are many more Prij who speak our

language than the other way around, and I wish it wasn't the case. As for the lack of anyone speaking Andonese...." He shook his head. "I think we might have to pay people to study it – nothing else works." "Andonese is impossible," his Pa said. "It's like chewing gravel." "It's a very orderly language, Arman says. But it's curious how many words Prijian and Darshianese share – we have a woman working on the roots of the tongues here and she's convinced that both peoples got their languages from a third nation which no longer exists, and we've both changed it over a thousand years or more into our own separate languages. Andonese doesn't belong to that root, she says." "So the P-Prij were once uh-us?" Karik was confused. "No, son, it means that long ago our people may have come from an area where there was a common language, or there was an invasion where the language was forced on our peoples." His Pa looked thoughtful. "It has to have been a very long time ago, and I know our records don't go back much past the civil war." "The Prijian records go back at least five hundred," his Ma said. "So Karus said. The senators like to trace their lineages back that far, but he always said that most of their family trees were pure fiction. The history isn't though. He said that once the Prij were a small island race, mostly farmers. Only in the last century has their population growing so large that it gave them ambitions for more land, and success bred greed. He was so interesting to talk to," she sighed. "I miss him still." "So does Arman," Kei said. "So do I. But we have several people from Kuprij working here who remind me of him a good deal. Very clever people." "But th-their sc-science is all n-nonsense," Karik said, confused. "The t-tutor wuh-was teaching r-rot." "Some of the stuff they teach children is rot, you're quite right, especially in the natural sciences," Kei said. "Their medicine is quite ridiculous, and despite all the learning they've had access to since the war, too many of their physicians are too wedded to their superstitions to change, and use religion to justify their ignorance which is quite inexcusable. But on the engineering side, the Prij are our masters, undoubtedly, and if it's to do with metal work or glass, they are unmatched even by the Andonese. They make the most wonderful musical instruments, and their singers are the finest you will ever hear. They've also got a lot of experience in acclimatising plants and animals and we are learning a lot

about that from them. The Rulers here would not have Prijian teachers working with us if they had nothing to teach." "Anyway, Ka-chi," his Ma said, "there's plenty of ignorance among our people, or have you managed to convince people to stop killing merkos yet?" Karik spent the rest of the meal feeling rather thoughtful about what they had talked about. He caught Kei looking at him several times. He knew what his uncle was doing, of course. He just hadn't expected his parents to agree with it – his Ma had been rude enough about Prijian learning in the past. But she was right about the fact that there was a lamentable blindness to simple facts among the people with whom he'd grown up. At least Prijian children had the excuse they were taught badly. The children in the village had only to talk to the people around them to know differently. They'd eaten lunch rather late, so it was a short afternoon spent in the garden, talking earnestly about Kei's new attempts at acclimation and the tests they were making on hisks and other small animals of the new drugs. Despite the fact that his father was not formally trained, Karik was surprised how he knew about the work Kei was doing. For some reason, he'd always thought of Kei as mainly his mother's friend, though he'd known his Pa and Kei had known each other longer. But now, especially with the hint his Ma had given them the night before, he was realising that his Pa's friendship with Kei was a very deep one, one on which they both depended. It was just usually, with Arman around, Kei's need for his father's friendship wasn't so clear. Kei was obviously relishing having both Karik's parents with him, and it didn't need much imagination to work out that his uncle had really been suffering from his lover's absence. Soul-touchers needed people around them to survive, his mother had once explained – to be isolated for any length of time was a pure hell for them. Karik had been very grateful he was not gifted when she'd explained that. He loved his solitude, though he also enjoyed the company of people with similar minds. Which was why this day at the academy was one of the happiest he could remember. The sun was still high in the sky when Kei called a halt. "We should go," he said. "I don't want to keep Wyma waiting." "But you said before sunset, Kei," his Pa said. "It's hours before that." "Yes, I know, but Neka was being polite. She would have had Jena there all day if we'd not been around. You forget that not everyone finds her a pain in the neck the way we do," he said, patting his mother's backside and leaping smartly out of

the path of her retaliatory hand. Kei was such an idiot sometimes, Karik thought fondly. The house of the Gifted turned out to be some way distant from the academy, set within a tall walled compound with secure gates – something Karik had only seen in Utuk, and he wondered if it was to keep people out or in. As they approached, the gates swung open. Kei shook his head. "Reis is showing off again," he said with a sigh. "Come on." But Karik wanted to stand and stare at the beautiful building a little longer. It was all in brilliant white stone, with huge, almost impossible windows. Up one side a large flowering vine had sprawled over the stone work, and here and there were bright flashes of metal work around the windows and the doors, but it was the fact it was so enormous, so incredibly tall, that took one's breath away. "Close your mouth, son," his Pa said with a grin. "It's really something, isn't it? It was all built by the Gifted themselves – it's very old." The House made that belonging to the Rulers look positively shabby, and Karik continued to stare at it as his father guided him up the path. Kei and Jena had walked on ahead of them, and Neka greeted them at the door. "Come in, everyone, we're all in the indoor garden." 'Indoor garden?', Karik mouthed at his father. "You'll see. Come along, Karik, it's rude to keep people waiting." Inside the house was as beautiful as it was on the outside – full of light and delicate decoration, with several large portraits on the walls whose subjects almost seemed about to walk off the canvas. Karik had never seen pictures so realistic before, and none made with such skill, even in the House of the Rulers. Neka turned to look at him staring at everything in awe. "I think we've broken your son," she joked to Jena. "I'm stunned as well – the new pictures, Meda's work?" "Those two are. She's really improved since you were here last." "Reji!" Karik turned and saw a lanky, cheerful-looking man come bounding over to his father and take him into a hug. "So good to see you again – and look, Jena!" She was squeezed enthusiastically. "You're just the same, I could eat you!"

"Well, if you did that, Reis, there wouldn't be anything left for the others," Jena said with a grin. "Karik, this is Reis. Reis, Karik, my son." Karik bowed, not quite sure of the etiquette, but Reis giggled and covered his mouth. "Oh, he's so cute. I wish everyone would bow to me like that." "Don't let it go to your head, Reis," Kei said fondly. "Karik probably doesn't know whether he's up or down right now." Reis came over to Karik and took his hand just as easily as Keiji might, for all Reis was easily Kei's age. "Hello, Karik – Kei's told us so much about you. Would you like to see something wonderful?" "Huh?" "Go on, son," his father said with a twinkle in his eye. "Reis is quite safe, I promise you." "Oh, I am. Hold on," Reis said, and then to Karik's astonishment, they both began to rise off the ground. He hung on tight to Reis' hand and tried not to look as terrified as he felt. "You're such a show off, Reis," Neka said, as Reis and Karik floated above her head. "The poor child has only just got here." "I just wanted to show Karik the garden and the view," Reis said, pouting. "Can I, Jena? Please?" "If Karik would like that, why not?" Reis turned his bright smile on Karik. "Would you like to see the view from the roof?" "Yes, p-please." At least it would be an unusual way to die. Reis' smile grew blindingly bright. "See you later!" he called to the people left on the ground, then he took Karik ever higher – before lifting them through an upper window which swung open before them, and out into the air. "I d-didn't know you could f-fly," Karik said, hoping Reis wouldn't drop him, but at the same time, already eagerly looking about him as they rose gracefully over the House, a hundred feet or so into the air.

"I can do lots of things, but this is the one I love the most. Do you like it? Do you like to fly, Karik?" "Yes," Karik said firmly, staring at all he could see from this astonishing height. The sea was a crystal blue, sparkling in the sun, and on the shore, he could see the roofs of the academy and the House of the Rulers, and when he turned, the long, wide Darshek plain could be seen even more clearly than from the mountain road, distant sandy beaches dazzling white against the blue water. "It's wuh-wonderful." "Let's go higher!" Reis, Jena says don't get carried away and she wants Karik back inside within half an hour. Reis pouted at Karik. All right. We're just having some fun, Neka. I know, darling. Just don't scare his parents, all right? I won't! Reis looked at Karik. "I won't hurt you, Karik. But Neka was sure you would love to see everything from up here." "I do. I'm fuh-fine." He looked Reis in the eye. "H-higher?" "Yes! Let's go up!" And so they did, and even though Karik's stomach lurched a little, he was lost in amazement and wonder at the effortlessness of what Reis was doing, and all he could see. They were even above the birds now, and the ships in the harbour looked like toys. From here, he could see the whole Kislik range and he wondered, if they rose high enough, if they would see the plains. "It's so beautiful," Reis sighed. "I love to fly, but I love to have people with me too. Meda doesn't really like being so high, and Neris gets cranky if I take him too often." "M-Meda? Neris?" "My lovers – I hope they like you, Karik, then we can do this again! Maybe Meda will make waterspouts for you." He had two lovers? "But I h-have to go huh-home in a week."

"Oh." Reis' bright smile dimmed. "Well, never mind, we can still have some fun. Come and see the garden – there's something special you can see if you look at it from above." And so it was – the garden was enormous, almost three times the size of the academy's, but it wasn't that what Reis had been talking about. At the very heart of the garden was a large raised area, where the beds, shrubs and flowers formed an intricate picture, a flower that Karik didn't know – it might be imaginary, he supposed. It wasn't just the position and colour of the flowers which formed the pattern – it was the shade of the leaves too, some more silvery green, others redtinged, which seemed to give the image depth and reality. Someone on the ground would never realise the pattern existed. "It's c-clever." He'd never heard of anyone doing anything like this before. "Isn't it? It's very old, even older than Wyma. It takes a lot of work to keep it pretty, but we all help. The best thing is that the picture changes – in the summer, it looks like a different flower again. Do you like flowers, Karik?" "I l-like plants. And ah-animals. A-All kinds of s-stuff." "Then you have to see this," Reis said, and then they were swooping up past the tall timkir trees to float over their crowns. "You have to be very quiet," he whispered, "or they run away." He brought them down a little and pointed to a ball of interwoven twigs set high at the top of one of the biggest tree. "Wait." So Karik did. He had a suspicion of what this was, but he'd only ever read about it. They had to wait a few minutes, but finally there was a movement at the small entrance to the nest – a long, agile nose, followed by a grey-furred head, and then quite suddenly, the whole body of a tree merko. No, not just one – a whole family, flinging themselves out of the nest on their outstretched wings and jumping down the tree in search of their prey, the youngsters perfect miniatures of their mother, little sails of fur flying gracefully through the air. Karik was beside himself with delight. He'd heard of tree merkos and had longed to see one, and now he'd seen a whole family. They were even more wonderful than the books said. "Let's look in the nest," Reis whispered, and brought them with delicate precision to a branch near the nest. "What's inside?" Karik was careful not to touch it, since ground merkos were so fussy if their nest sites were disturbed. "I c-can't really see, b-but there's fuh-fur. I think the mmother lines the nest with her own."

"Goodness," Reis said in surprise. "I didn't know they did that." He lifted them back above the trees. "I'm the only one who sees them usually. They're so cute, and the babies are just like...." He held two fingers up about half an inch apart, which was a slight exaggeration. "Every year I come to see them. I knew you'd love them. Kei told us what you were like, and so did Neka. They were so worried when you disappeared. Poor Neka didn't get a wink of sleep for two days." "I'm s-sorry." Reis ruffled his hair and grinned. "Oh, it's all right. Jera looked after her, and then you came home again. Kei was so sad though, while Arman was away. We were very worried about him," he confided. "He's not so bad this time, but he's still lonely, I think. Do you think that?" "A little." "Maybe I should show him the tree merkos to cheer him up." "H-He'd like that, Reis." "Then I will. Come and stand on the roof so you can say you did it." Reis was just a big child at heart, he thought. If there was an ounce of harm in him, Karik would eat his shirt. Reis brought them to stand on the huge metal roof of the house, and once again Karik got a wonderful view of the sea. "The first time I saw you, you were just...." He made the same measurement as he had for the baby merkos. "Cute as a bug. Well, cuter than a bug really. Bugs aren't cute. You probably don't remember me, do you? Karik laughed. "No, s-sorry. You wuh-went to Utuk?" "Lots of us did. I got horribly sick though – I don't like sailing at all. But then Jera and Meda and I had a lot of fun with the Prijian boats and things in the harbour. Nobody got hurt," he added in a worried tone, as if Karik might think this was so. "We were careful." "I'm s-sure." Karik wished he'd been old enough to have seen it. The little he'd heard of that battle made it sound like the most astonishing thing a person could witness. "Wuh-what do you do now?" "Now? Oh, lots of things. We help the Rulers, and move stuff around, things that are too heavy for the beasts, or that they want to go somewhere dangerous or

high up. I've been busy with this stupid harbour development they're building, the one that makes Arman swear so much. I like helping with that kind of thing, but I like flying better. Only thing is, I'm not supposed to frighten people by flying too much in the daytime." He whispered in Karik's ear, "But sometimes Neris and I fly at night, really high and Neris lights a flame, just a little one." He cupped his hand to show the size. "People probably think it's a shooting star. Flying at night is the most amazing thing – the stars are so close, and you could almost touch the moon. Would you like to come with us one night – I mean, before you leave?" "Yes, I wuh-would." Already Karik was trying to imagine how it would feel to soar against the inky black of the sky, as light as a bird. "You're not scared?" "A l-little. But not now." "Good." Reis sank down and sat cross-legged on the metal surface. "It's so beautiful here, but one day, I want to fly all along the range, and see what that's like." Seeing his companion wasn't going to be moving soon, Karik joined him on the roof. "Wuh-where are you from?" "From? Here, of course. That's now, I mean. I don't know where I was born." "Huh-how can you n-not know that?" Reis rested his head on his chin and looked at Karik. "Um, well, I don't know where I came from. One day a man turned up at the Rulers' house and said this boy is for you and then he left. And that boy was me, you see. But I can't remember it – I was only five." Karik blinked. "Fuh-five?" "Uh huh. It happens to a lot of us. Neris was seven, but he can remember that a barn caught fire, so they were probably scared of him. I don’t remember what I did but it must have been naughty. People don't understand, you see. They don't know we can't control ourselves until we know what's happening, and little children don't. So the parents get scared and bring us to the Rulers to deal with." Karik stared, his mouth open in horror. "Don't you mind?"

Reis' cheerful expression slipped. "I used to," he said quietly. "Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have nice parents like you have, but then I remember about Neris and Meda, and Neka and Jera and Kira and Wyma and all the others, and then I know it's all right. It's harder for the ones who come here when they're older, because they remember, you see. Seiki remembers her Ma and it makes her sad. People don't get so scared of the soul-touchers and the mind-speakers, so they don't try and get rid of them so soon. But eventually they think it's creepy and they're glad to send their children to us. It's for the best," he said quietly. "No one understands what it's like. And some people hate us for being different. Before the settlement, they used to kill any Gifted they discovered. Now people don't do that, because they can send us here. And it's really nice here. We're not different when we're with others like us." He raised a hand and gently touched Karik's hair. "You know what it's like? To feel different?" "Y-yes. Before I l-left, I was hurt. B-beaten up." "I know, Kei said, though he asked us not to mention it unless you did. People are stupid, don't you think? To be scared of a little fellow like you who can't even drop rocks on them?" "I wuh-wish I could dr-drop rocks on s-some of them," Karik said with feeling which made Reis smile. "R-Reji and Jena aren't my r-real parents. My r-real parents g-gave me away." Reis sighed. "Then they weren't your real parents, were they? Like mine weren't. I know they probably weren't bad people, but they're not my mother and father any more. If I met them now, what would I say to them? I'm not angry about what they did, but I'm not interested in them either. I cried when Jil died, but if my mother died, I wouldn't cry." Karik guessed 'Jil' was the late Lady Jilki. "I uh-understand. But it's s-sad." "Well, if you look at it from one way, it is. Neris gets mad sometimes and we know it's because he's thinking about his family. But all we have to do is give him lots of cuddles and then he's all right again. He wouldn't leave us for them, because he loves me and Meda. You wouldn’t leave Reji and Jena for those people, would you? Reji and Jena really love you. When Reji comes up to see Kei, he talks about you all the time, and he's so proud of you. If I had a father, that's what I'd want." Despite his protestations that he didn't really mind what had been done to him, the melancholy in Reis' last words made Karik want to hug him, so he did, to

Reis' surprise. "There, there, Karik, don't mind me. It's just how things are for the Gifted, and we have a good life here. We have friends, and people who love us. I wouldn't want to lose all that just to go and live like a normal person. Because I'm not normal and I don't want to pretend I'm something I'm not. People can accept me for what I am or they can throw themselves in the harbour. Or Jera can," he added with a wink. "He's meaner than me like that." Not such a child after all, Karik realised. Just blessed with an open and accepting heart that was nearly as great a Gift as his mind-moving. "I think you're wuhwonderful. Your p-parents lost a l-lot." "I wonder sometimes if they're sad, when they think of me. But they probably just pretend it's like I'm dead." He heaved a heavy sigh, but then smiled at Karik. "We should go now. You'll want to meet the others, and Wyma too. Wyma is the nicest person in the world. I just wish he wasn’t so old. I know I'll miss him a lot when he dies." What could Karik say to that? There was nothing for it but to give the man another hug. Then Reis stood and took his hand. "Here we go!" He took them to the side of the building and the meaning of the 'indoor garden' immediately became clear as they approached the huge glass topped roof. The windows in it were too small to fly through, so they landed on the ground and entered more sedately, finding Karik's parents and Kei seated with nearly a dozen other people, two of whom immediately rose to come and claim Reis. Meda and Neris, Karik guessed, though which was which he didn't know. Reis kissed the two of them and then led Karik over to where an incredibly elderly man, with snow white hair and kind eyes, was seated in a large chair. Kei was seated to his right, but stood. "Karik, I'd like you to meet Wyma. Wyma, this is Reji and Jena's son, Karik." "I'm p-pleased to meet you," Karik said politely, and bowed. Wyma didn’t seem to think that level of respect was out of place. "Sit down, my son," he said in a quiet, commanding voice. Karik obeyed, sitting on a cushion his Ma hastily pushed over to him, and waited for the man's pleasure. Wyma was in no hurry, staring at him without the least embarrassment for several minutes, and no one spoke a word while he carried out his inspection. Karik knew nothing of what Gifted soul-touchers could do or what they could tell. He hoped he didn't seem unpleasant to the man.

At last Wyma smiled at him. "Don't be so nervous, child. Did you enjoy your flight with Reis?" "V-Very much. We saw tr-tree merkos f-flying." "Tree merkos? Oh, Reis, you never said they were out of the nest," Kei said, wagging his finger. "Sorry, Kei, Karik said I should show you. Want to do that now?" "Not right now, no, but I'd love to see them. Oh, sorry, Wyma," Kei said, putting his hand over his mouth. "That's all right, my son. I know you have no manners," Wyma said, his aged eyes twinkling with amusement. "I trust you don't copy him, Karik. Arman is always much more polite than Kei. I wonder why that is." "Probably because he was taught proper etiquette and I learned everything from urs beasts," Kei joked. "Karik has better manners than me, don't worry." "Yes, Kei, because we didn't want him growing up as disorderly as you," Jena said, sticking her tongue out, which made her friends laugh. Wyma tsked at them. "Dear, dear, such rudeness. People have changed so much since I was a child. Karik, say hello to Seiki. She's the youngest of us here at the moment. Come here, my child," he said, motioning to a tall girl who'd been hiding shyly behind the others. "Karik, this is Seiki. Say hello, my dear." "Hello, Karik, " Seiki said quietly. Karik realised she was probably slightly older than him, but not much. She seemed rather sad, and he recalled what Reis had told him about missing her mother. "Seiki, why don’t you sit near Karik and keep him company while the rest of us chatter? I'm sure you don't want to be bothered by our nonsense." She looked rather dubious, but someone – Reis? – floated a cushion over to her, so she had little choice but to do as Wyma suggested. Do you mind? Karik jerked a little in surprise – he hadn't realise she was a mind-speaker. Not at all. Do you? I can make an excuse or something.

No, it’s all right. Wyma just wants me to get used to everyone and to cheer up. I don’t think he remembers his family, so he doesn't understand what it's like to miss them. And you've got yours right here. He couldn't miss the jealousy. I'm sorry. Reis explained what happened to him. She nodded and picked at the material of her trousers. Are you enjoying yourself? Yes, I am. We only got here yesterday, but so far it's great. Do you like Darshek? Haven't seen much of it, except once when Reis took me for a flight over the city. How long have you been here? Only five months. I'd like to see the city but I don't want to do that on my own. Before, I didn't have control over my Gift and now...well, people are busy. Don't you have any contact with your parents? Where do they live? They live in Ai-Rutej, and I can speak to them if I want, but.... She bit her lip. It's not the same. Did you have friends there? Do you miss them? She shook her head and looked at her hands. Once people realised I had this Gift, they avoided me. Ma told me to hide it, but they found out eventually, and after that, no one wanted me around them. They said I could tell what they were thinking, but it's not like I can stop doing that. I never told anyone anything I read in anyone's minds. They don't understand that's it's not my fault. They never trusted me. My Ma did, but she said I had to come up here, because of the law. Your Pa? Pa didn't even say goodbye. To Karik's horror, a tear slipped down her face and she hung her head. He put a hand on her shoulder in comfort – to think he'd thought he had a hard life, whiny brat that he was. I'm sorry. I really am, Seiki. She looked up at him with damp lashes. No, I am. I'm being rude, telling you all this. I'm not always this pathetic. It's just seeing your Ma and Pa reminded me.

I don't think you're rude. Maybe we can go outside for a walk? Get away from all these people? It was a good thing he and Seiki were talking in their heads – the sound of several conversations over their heads was getting a bit much. Seiki looked over at Wyma. May we go outside, Wyma? Of course, my child. Just come in before dark so we can have our supper. She stood and held out her hand to him. "We're going out to the garden," she announced. Karik saw his Ma start as if she was about to offer to go with them, but then she settled back on the cushions. Someone had explained to her. "Wuh-we'll come back s-soon." Seiki held his hand as she led him out of the glass doors and down a wide path to the garden. Reis showed you the pattern? Yes, it's amazing. The whole place is amazing. It's really beautiful, and people have been so nice to me. I don't know why I can't get over being so homesick. Some days I do nothing but cry. Unlike Karik's Ma, Seiki could talk to him without touching him, so he could hear her though she had wandered over to smell the blue flowers blooming on a large bush. You realise that everyone's been really curious to meet you. That doesn't happen very often, that Wyma wants to meet a normal, I mean. I know. I don't know why, though. I'm nothing special. My parents are, Kei is. Well, that's the reason. Because they all like Kei so much, and Kei was so excited about you coming up, they wanted to know what you were like, and then after you got taken away, Neka got involved. She shrugged. Some of us don't have very much to occupy ourselves. What do you do? Do you work for the Rulers? Not yet – I'm too young, and I haven't been fully trained to control my Gift. I can just about manage not to hear everyone at the same time, but if I try to listen too hard for someone, then they all come crashing in. It gives me such a headache. But you want to work with them? Is that what you would have done, I mean, if you hadn't had a Gift?

My Ma makes pottery and she was teaching me. My father is a farmer. She walked off a little way. I like making pots. But they don't need me for that here. Maybe you could learn to do something else. Study at the academy, or with someone else? Everyone thinks I'm a freak. No one would teach me anything. Karik came a little closer to her. You're not a freak. That’s what they call me, back home. But I'm not a freak either. Because you don't have a braid? Because I'm Prijian. She stared at him. But you're normal. I'm different from them. You're different from me, but you're not a freak. You seem really nice to me. She gave him a smile then, which showed him how pretty she was when she wasn't crying. You're nice too. Do you have friends? Back home? Yes. There's Risa, and Meran and Keiji, and Gyo, only he lives near Ai-Tuek so I don't see him much. Those are the ones closest to me. You're lucky. To have friends, and your family too.... Seiki, I got beaten up three weeks before I left. It's not all wonderful. Living in this house and with such nice people... could be good, couldn't it? I guess so. So tell me what you are going to do while you're here. I'm not sure. Pa wants to visit a jesig breeder, and Ma wants to go to the menagerie and the herbarium, and Risa's got things to do for the village. I guess I'll be following them around. It's all new to me. And it means you're not back with those people who beat you up? Yes. Stupid Jos, he added in disgust. So he doesn't like you because...you're Prijian?

Well, he says that's the reason. Pa thinks it's because I'm smarter than him, and he's jealous because my parents are elders, but that's just stupid too. He makes fun of my stutter, like that's got anything to do with anything at all. I know what that's like. She smiled again. Can I tell you a secret? Sure. I used to stutter like you do. He stared. That was about the last thing he expected her to say. "U-used to?" "Uh huh. Still do, if I don't concentrate or I'm upset." At Karik's continued look of amazement, she explained. "My Ma's brother used to stutter and her Ma worked out a way of helping him, and then when I started, my Ma taught me. It takes a while and you have to work at it...." "C-Can you teach me?" Of course. Oh, but you're going home.... How long would it take, he wondered. Can you write down what I need to do? I can try, but you need someone to work with you. I need to tell my Ma.... Wait, I'll call her. Seiki went silent for a few moments, and then moments after that, both Karik's parents and Kei came walking down the path beside the house. "Ma! P-Pa! Suh-Seiki knows how to fuh-fix my stutter!" His Ma looked as shocked as he'd felt a few minutes before. "Could you explain that to us, dear?" she said, coming to Karik's side. Seiki looked embarrassed by the undivided attention of so many people. "Um, I was just telling Karik th-that I stammered as bad as he does. But my Ma taught me how to stop." Kei frowned. "I don't understand. I know I asked all the village healers to tell me if they knew of any stammering cases, and if anyone had any success with treating them. Did your Ma tell your healer about you?"

"Yes, I know she did because Mara spent a long time asking me about it." "Pissing Mara!" his Ma said, making Karik jump. "She knew why we wanted it!" "Jena...." "Wh-who?" "I'll explain later," Kei said, his expression surprisingly grim. "Never mind all that – Seiki, would you be able to explain to me what your Ma did for you? Perhaps after Wyma goes to bed?" "Of course. But why didn't Mara tell you about it?" "Um...well...." "Because she's a nasty little bitch," Karik's Ma spat. Kei went red. "Jena love, not in front of the children," his Pa said, but his expression made it look like he wasn't all that surprised at her reaction. Kei put his hand on Karik's shoulder. "Well, whatever the reason, at least Seiki has offered to help you. Can Karik do it at home, do you think?" "I don't know, my Ma was there to help me," Seiki said. "We'll see what we can do while Karik's up here then. Now, everyone, I think we should go inside, because Wyma wants his tea and then we'll eat supper." Karik was so excited, he could hardly sit still. Could they really stop this stupid stuttering? Seiki seemed to have caught something of his mood, and was altogether more cheerful. She was a really sweet girl, he thought. And not a freak. He wasn't a freak either. But for now, he had to be patient and wait. The dinner was...different. For one thing, the Gifted were about the most informal people he'd ever met, and even the casual manners of the village were discarded. People moved around the table from seat to seat, exchanged food off each other's plates, floated things to each other, and the noise was incredible. Karik watched in silent amazement, almost too distracted to eat. Kei seemed used to it, and Karik's parents didn't seem to think there was anything unusual at all. Maybe it was because he was an only child, and so meals were never as busy as this anyway.

Wyma sat at the head of the table and was waited on attentively by the two people sitting near him – not people who had been in the indoor garden. Kei had already explained that most of the Gifted were reclusive and quite a few never met with strangers, or left the House, though they were perfectly able to do so. Certainly only eight or so of the twenty people at table spoke to him or his parents directly, though they were free enough with each other. After hearing what had happened to Reis and Seiki, Karik could understand how they might reject the 'normal' world. There were over thirty Gifted living in the House, Kei had told them, so there must have been some who wouldn't come to this meal because he and his parents were there – or perhaps simply because there were other people there. He wondered how awful life had to become before being entirely on your own was preferable to meeting anyone else. Looking around the table, he thought how people had responded so differently to a shared situation, similar grief. He had thought Reis child-like, but to have come out of such an experience so remarkably free from bitterness and with his trust and curiosity intact, meant that in some ways, Reis must be a very wise man indeed. The chaotic meal went on for over two hours, until Wyma announced that he was retiring for the evening. "Goodnight to you, young Karik, Jena, Reji. I see this visit has brought you joy. May you return and find more of it." His parents bowed respectfully, so Karik imitated them. "Goodnight, Wyma," Kei said, going to him and taking his hand. Wyma seemed to indicate that he would like Kei to go with him, so they left together, Wyma leaning on Kei's arm, and speaking quietly to each other. Seiki came to sit next to Karik. I hope I can help you. I should really ask my Ma for some advice. Can you? I guess – if Pa doesn't know about it. How could her father be so cruel, Karik wondered. How could he know his daughter for seventeen years and turn his back on her like that? At least Karik's real parents had hardly known him at all, so he had been easy to set aside. I'll be grateful for whatever you do, he told her firmly. I'd like to help. I'd like to feel I was doing something useful instead of playing all the time.

Kei was gone some time, and most of the Gifted had wandered off to elsewhere in the House, leaving a mess that two servants had begun to clear up. Karik felt he should help, but no one seemed to think he should, so he followed his parents' lead. Meda stood up once most of her friends had gone. "Let's go to the sitting room," she said, linking arms with her two lovers. Neris was a lot less friendly-looking than Reis, but seemed to be great friends with Karik's Pa and had spent much of the meal chatting to him. Meda was a friendly, quiet lady who seemed very fond of her two men, and they obviously adored her. Karik couldn't begin to imagine how one managed to be in love with two people at the same time, but they seemed perfectly happy with their arrangement. The sitting room was a large, informal room with long chairs and big cushions scattered around, books shelves lining one wall, and several pictures, including one of Wyma that had to be recent, since it showed him as he was now. The Gifted flopped down onto chairs or the cushions, and Karik was tugged down to the floor by Reis. "Now, tell me what you and Seiki are up to – is it a secret?" "Nosy," Meda said, poking him in the side. "Maybe Karik doesn't want to tell you." "It's n-not a s-secret. S-Seiki muh-might be able to huh-help my s-stutter." He rolled his eyes at this demonstration of just why he needed the help. "Really? Oh that's wonderful, Karik." Reis looked nearly as delighted as Karik felt. "Can we watch?" "Reis," his Ma said, "it's not something that happens quickly, if at all." "It must be like learning to control our Gift," Neka said thoughtfully. "At first you have to think about it all the time and you don't dare let it slip, and then suddenly, you don't have to think about it." "That is what it's like," Seiki confirmed. "Sometimes I forget though, if I get excited or nervous. But I know that as soon as I remember what to do, it will stop." "If you know how to cure stammering, Seiki, you could have people beating your door down for help," his Pa said to her. "Kei's been tearing his hair out looking for someone to help Karik and other children he knows of. You could make a whole career out of it."

Her eyes widened at his words. "Really?" Neka, lounging against Jera as she had been, rolled over to look at her. "Of course, darling. You can do what you want, so long as you live in Darshek. Nobody makes me work with the Rulers, I just like to. You could work with them or Kei, or whoever you want, if it interests you. If you can help people with this thing you know, that would be wonderful." "Well, it’s my Ma who knows it," she said shyly. "It doesn't matter," his Pa told her. "It's like me and beasts – I learned from my Pa, and he learned from his uncle. I taught Risa and Karik, and they'll teach other people. The important thing is to share the knowledge." "And not to keep it secret because you're a bitchy slut with a grudge," Karik's mother muttered, low enough that he hoped Seiki hadn't heard it. He really wanted to know the story behind this. His Pa whispered something into his Ma's ear which made her smile. "Yes, I guess I do owe her something. But I'll still kick her in the backside when I see her." "I suspect more than a kicking might be on its way from Kei," his Pa said firmly. "Where is that damn man, anyway?" "Oh, Wyma's bending his ear," Neka said. "But he's coming down, I just asked him." This evening was about as different any in Ai-Albon as he had ever experienced, and if he hadn't just spent a month in Utuk in yet another very different, though far less pleasant environment, Karik thought he might have been overwhelmed. But as it was, it seemed perfectly natural to be sprawled on the floor with several people he had only just met, watching the couples holding hands and stroking each other fondly, his parents doing the same as if they were still courting. In fact he and Seiki were the only two who weren't lovers – and when he had that thought, he suddenly blushed. Catching Seiki's eye, he saw her redden and then grin. Sorry, Karik, I can't not hear you when you're this close and you're thinking about me. It's all right, I know it's automatic. I didn't mean.... No, I saw that too. If you didn't want to, you wouldn't have to tell me anything, but then that would be no fun, would it? I guess not.

"Sorry I kept you waiting, Seiki," Kei said, walking into the room. "Everyone's comfortable except me. Karik, can I share your cushion?" Karik moved over and his uncle flopped down next to him. "I'm exhausted," he declared. "You damn visitors from the villages, you're so much work." "Listen to him," his Ma said dryly. "Like you don't run us all ragged when you and that great oaf come to visit in the summer. I need a month to recover, don't I, Reji?" "Oh, easily. I have to confine her to bed." "I didn't realise you needed an excuse to do that," Kei said with an innocent smile. "Keep it clean in front of the children, Keichichi." "You started it, Rei-ki." "Gods, you two, stop it," his Ma said, poking his Pa. "Kei, we need to know what Seiki can do for Karik." "Yes, I know." Kei turned to Seiki. "Why don't you just tell us from the beginning? When you started to stammer and then what your Ma taught you?" It was a long story, for sure, and Kei stopped her many times to clarify things. It certainly wasn't an easy thing to achieve, and Karik had a sinking feeling that just writing it all down wouldn't be enough. Part of the problem was that Seiki's Ma had taught her to sing and had used that as part of the training – but neither of Karik's parents could carry a tune in a bucket. His Ma said she was completely tone deaf, in fact. "Myka can sing," Kei said a little doubtfully, "but she probably wouldn’t have time to help Karik this intensively. Oh well, we'll do what we can. Seiki, my dear, if you can do as much with Karik as you can before he leaves, I would be forever in your debt." "I want to help," she said with a shy glance at Karik. "Kei, do you think I could learn to help other people too?" Kei blinked. "I can't see why not. If you're really interested, I'll introduce you to some of the masters at the academy. At the theatre, there's a singing mistress – we should get her help. I know at least a dozen families with children who stutter, several who are far worse than Karik. If you could help them, think of how grateful they would be. Would you be interested in that?"

"Anything – I'm so bored now." "I hadn't realised," Kei said, turning to look at Neka. "We should try and do something about that." "If I've learned anything from being a father," his Pa said, settling Karik's Ma more comfortably against him, "it's that children – and people – are happiest if you expect things from them." "It's true," Reis chimed in. "When we went to Kuprij, it was like we really were part of everything, not separate any more. But then we came back and it was mostly the same again." "Not the same," Meda said. "You started working for the Rulers much more, and you've been happier for it." "We all have been," Jera said. "Even you, Neris," he said, poking the fire-shaper in the ribs, which earned him a huge scowl. Kei nodded then yawned extravagantly, which made Reis giggle. "Oh, sorry, everyone. I've not been sleeping so well lately and I'm tired. Would anyone mind if we went home now?" "C-Can we come back?" Karik asked, and then was shocked at his own boldness. No one seemed offended, fortunately. "Please, Kei? Can he?" Reis asked. "You need to ask him, I have no objections. Reji, Jena?" "Of course you can, Karik," his Pa said. "P-Pa, Seiki hasn't s-seen the city. M-Maybe she could c-come with us?" His Pa looked surprised. "I can't see why not, if Seiki would like to and Wyma doesn't have a problem with it, which I'm sure he won't." Seiki's eyes lit up. "Would you really want me to come?" She looked at Meda. "Is that allowed?" "Of course it is, darling. You would be in completely trustworthy hands, and Karik's a nice boy."

Which comment made both Karik and Seiki blush bright red, and that in turn made Reis laugh again. Karik didn't mind though. It really was impossible to take offence at these people. "Kei, since it's late, would you all like me to fly you home?" Jera asked. "Well, normally I'd say no, but since I've got these three lazy people...ow! Stop that, you horrible woman," he complained as Jena pulled his braid. "As I was saying, I'm sure Karik would enjoy that." "Oh, let me, Jera, please?" Reis said, turning his soulful eyes on his friend. "I promised Karik I'd take him flying at night, and there's a full moon now." Jera shrugged. "Sure, I don't mind. " "Can we, Ma?" Karik turned to ask her. "I think that sounds wonderful." Reis leaned over to Karik. "Just don't tell Meki," he whispered. "He doesn't like to have people scared." "I wuh-won't tell anyone," he promised. "N-not here, I mean." Reis jumped to his feet. "Right, let's go!" "Reis, darling, you won't show off, will you?" Meda said, straightening up and giving her lover a worried look. "Not everyone enjoys going really high up, you know that." "Why don't you come with us, Meda? Neris? Please? I won't go too high, I promise. We haven't flown together in ages." "Oh, all right," Neris said grumpily, pulling Meda to her feet. "Anything to keep you amused." Karik got the slight impression he'd only been waiting to be asked. Reis' smile was dazzling. He was easily made happy by small pleasures, it was obvious. "Seiki, I'll let you know where you can meet us tomorrow," Kei said. "Thank you for your help." "That's all right, Kei." She blushed as he kissed her cheek. "Good night. 'Bye, Karik."

He waved at her, and then Reis bustled them all out of the room, clearly impatient to show them the wonders of night flight. Neka called her farewells and told them she would see them the next day. That night, flying in utter and effortless silence against the backdrop of the starry blackness, was the single most astonishing thing Karik had ever experienced. Just as Reis had promised, it seemed almost possible to touch the moon, while below them, the reflection of the moonlight on the harbour stretched out like cold fire, lighting a path for them to follow. He took them over the bay, and Meda called to the dolphins, teasing them into wakefulness with her water play, and they jumped through the fountains she made for them, lit by jewel-like fireballs that hung above the water. Neris threw bigger balls of fire back and forth to Reji, and sent more over their heads, as they floated across the inky water towards the cliffs and over them, to where the vast endless ocean melted into the equally endless night, broken only by the phosphorescence of the waves. It was very cold so high up, so his parents cuddled close to him and to Kei, although Karik didn't care how cold he got – he was simply too spellbound by what he could see. In the night, Darshek was just small points of light – candles in windows, uncovered lamps as a few hardy souls walked the streets – soldiers, probably, Karik thought. In the House of the Rulers, several curtained windows showed the residents of the rooms were still awake and Kei muttered something about wringing Meki's neck if he was still working at this hour. Finally Meda murmured that it really was late and they should let people go to bed. Reis brought them to rest in Kei's garden and Karik's Ma gave him a hug. "Thank you, Reis. That was truly lovely." "Thank you, all of you," his Pa said. "Yes, thank you," Kei said, embracing Meda and Neris. "You're welcome," she said, looking flushed and happy in the light from Neris' flame. "Did you enjoy it, Karik?" He nodded. "It wuh-was wonderful." It seemed a rather inadequate way of expressing how he felt. "Th-thank you." But the simple words seemed to be enough for Reis. "I told you it was fun," he said, beaming at them all. "We better go. Come to see us again before you go, Karik, I insist!"

Karik promised he would as the three Gifted rose in the air, and then flew off, the movement of their bodies not even making the smallest sound, and soon all that could be seen of them was the small light Neris was floating in front of them. It did indeed look just like a slow moving shooting star. "Well, now that was something, wasn't it?" Kei said, clapping Karik on the shoulder. "Something to tell the grandchildren about." "I've flown with Reis before but.... Good grief, Kei." His Ma seemed lost for words. "They're like gods compared with us." "Yes, I know. No matter how many times I see things like that, I feel so small and ordinary next to them. Right, let's get inside, and see if we can scrounge up some tea." Risa was considerably surprised to see them come through the back door. Pira had apparently given up waiting for them and gone to bed. "When did you get back? I didn't hear you come up the path." "Oh we just flew in," Kei said casually as if this was completely normal, but spoiled it by laughing at Risa's confusion. "Tell you later, Risa-ki. Who's for a bath?" "Pira and I had one earlier," Risa said. "Since we didn’t know when you idlers would be coming home." Karik's Pa scoffed at the description, but then wanted to know how Risa had got on while Kei went off to light the bath stove, and then returned to pour the last of the tea to drink while the bath reheated. Karik sat next to his Ma, who took his hand in hers. I'm still dazed, she said, grinning at him. I never thought I would do anything like that. And a few weeks ago, you thought you would never be happy again, or leave the village. She squeezed his fingers. Even bad things can always be turned to the good. Ma, who's Mara? She grimaced. Ah, well, she's another bad thing. At his look of enquiry, she added, Someone who learned that stolen goods aren't worth quite as much as ones you earn. But you know, without her, I wouldn't be with your father, and

you wouldn't be living in Ai-Albon, or know Kei, or have ever come to Darshek. So without Mara, you wouldn't have had this day. So you won't kick her backside? Well, maybe not so hard as I might do, she said with a small grin. And little Lady Mara has done another good thing, though she didn't mean to. Neka said today was the first time since Seiki arrived that she's stopped fretting about her family and how much she misses them for any time at all. Neka told me earlier that she'd had us invited specially because you and Seiki are similar ages and she hoped you might distract her a little. We never thought it would have this benefit though. If she can help you, it might help her realise it's not all bad, being up here. She's nice and I'd like to help her too. Ma, why do the Gifted have to stay in Darshek? Are the Rulers afraid they'll hurt people? She lost her smile. That's what people think is the reason – that the Gifted are kept under control so they can't do any harm. But they're not brought here to protect everyone else – it's to protect them against other people. Someone like Seiki would have been killed before the wars. Even Kei and your father and I would probably have been murdered. After the wars, the Rulers decided the only way to keep them safe was to offer sanctuary to the Gifted here, and it's been like that for nearly two hundred years. That's why we have the law about the Gifted coming here – for their benefit, not ours. Seiki thinks it's hard, being separated from her family. But even now, if she stayed in Ai-Rutej, she would eventually find life was insupportable. But her Ma – her Pa – they could come and live here. You said you would live here, if I needed it. Yes, I know, Ka-chi, but it's a choice most of the parents make. I think it's because they fear their children, though they love them. And Seiki's Ma can't leave her son or her husband behind for her. It's why the poor child is so unhappy, though. She leaned over and kissed his temple, holding him close to him. I knew you would understand a little of what she feels. It’s not easy being different, to stand out and be a target. Or to be rejected by those who should have a care for you. But there are still things in life to enjoy and she, like you, can still do so many things. The choice is yours, as it is hers. Karik could only nod. He'd had the most bewilderingly exciting day, so much to see and to think about. He needed time to make sense of it all. But life certainly looked brighter and far more interesting than it had for quite some time – and

that was very nearly the most surprising thing about this day, with all its wonders.

Chapter 7 Never in his life had time passed with such speed as the next week did. From the moment he woke in the morning, until the evening when he crawled into bed, exhausted, happy and his mind brimming with all he had seen and done, the days were filled with new and mostly fascinating experiences. True to his word, his Pa invited Seiki on their excursions, and Kei managed to be with them for most of them, though he still had a few teaching commitments at the academy that he couldn't neglect. Karik got to ride his first jesig at a farm outside the city, and he and Seiki clung giggling to the long necks of their mounts as they trotted across a field while Karik's parents watched in obvious amusement. One of Kei's friends took them on a sailing boat to the far side of the bay, where they picnicked on a sandy beach, and Kei tried to teach them how to fish in the sea (he was hopeless at it, though Karik's Pa caught enough for their lunch). Risa drove them in a cart along the coast so they could see the quarries, and watched barges being loaded with the stone. And there were the Gifted who had them to visit twice more, to Reis' obvious delight. They also visited a Prijian family that Kei and his parents had known since Karik had come to live with them, who had once lived in Ai-Albon. though Karik didn't remember them at all. Vikis had been a soldier under Arman during the war, amazingly, though to see the genial, sedately rotund man now, it was very hard to imagine him in any kind of a fight. His wife, Kesa, was a quiet, rather shy lady, who was especially pleased to meet Karik, though she never said why. Karik was fascinated to see their four children, all younger than him, all with braids, and just as fascinated by him as he was by them. He hadn't realised there were other Darshianese Prijians – or Prijian Darshianese – and between them all, it seemed to Karik they represented the spectrum of what that might mean. Vikis and Kesa spoke Darshianese with very strong Prijian accents, though Vikis was quite fluent. Kesa was not so easy with the tongue, but she still spoke it, even to her children, who could speak both languages like natives. And then there was Karik himself, who could stumble out a few phrases in Prijian, but for all intents and purposes, only spoke the language of his adopted people. It made him wonder exactly what being 'Prijian' meant, and how far removed he would have to be from his birth culture, before he would no longer be identified that way. He certainly envied Vikis and Kesa's children, so easy in their dual identity, and at least here in Darshek, welcome to both peoples. He found Vikis and his family very amiable, and wondered why they had left the village, especially as it was clear that Vikis' skill was something that the clan could really do with. He asked his Pa that question that evening as they bathed. "Well, son, I think you can probably work that out for yourself, after the way you've been treated lately."

"S-Someone huh-hurt them?" "No, nothing that blatant. Vikis and Kesa were well enough liked for themselves, and he's a damn good wheelwright. But they realised that it was never going to be easy being Prijian in our village, and though they didn't mind so much for themselves, they wanted their children to grow up in a less narrow-minded environment. For them, it was a good decision, though it was the village's loss. I wish for your sake they had stayed." "Or yuh-you had left?" His mother looked at him. "Do you wish we had, Ka-chi?" Karik didn't even have to think about it. "N-no. Good th-things come from bad th-things." There was no guarantee that his life would have been any better living in Darshek, and he mostly enjoyed his life in the village, despite the harassment. He could have got that living in the city, just because of his stammer. "Quite right, son," his Pa said, ruffling his hair. "But you don't need to think you have to stay stuck in Ai-Albon for ever. People move around according to their ambitions and their needs, and you wouldn't be the first young person to come to the city for a few years." The question of Karik coming to work with Kei was naturally something that had been in his mind the whole week. He still didn't think he could bear to leave his parents, but he was beginning to see it was possible to be happy living in the city. If he could mend the rift with Arman, he might even look forward to doing so. But he said none of this to anyone. He still needed time to think. The possible cure for his stutter was something they all wanted to find out about. The very next day after meeting Seiki, Karik had gone with her and meet the singing mistress at the theatre, so Seiki could explain what her mother had taught her. The woman, a Prij from Garok called Titira, seemed to understand it immediately. "It's about phrasing and breath control," she'd said. "Exactly what I teach my students. Ideally, you and I and Seiki would work together, applying what she describes and the exercises I use, but if there's no option, then you will have to do it on your own, at home. It will be hard work, young man." "Karik's not afraid of hard work," Kei told her. "Yes, but it's not just effort," Titira said. "Effort must be applied consistently in the right direction. I suggest you begin at once, and then come to see me before you leave so I can judge how you are getting on. Seiki, you and Karik must start

at once." Her words brooked no argument – she was rather terrifying, Karik had thought. But she was also thorough and knowledgeable in a manner which inspired confidence, and he thought it might be possible after all to follow Seiki's advice and finally defeat this thing which had been a plague in his life since he was seven. So Seiki's accompanying them on their jaunts not only entertained her, but gave her the chance to teach him and correct him. He paid close attention to the way she spoke, and noticed how she handled the sounds that frequently tripped him up. Part of it was taking enough time to speak, she told him, watching how he breathed, being more measured in how he pronounced words. "When you first start, you'll sound odd, but there's no point in being self-conscious, because you already sound odd, right?" Which was a fair point, he acknowledged. She said the singing had helped her learn to control the range and tone of her voice, and to breathe at the correct time. Kei and his Ma spent a good deal of time listening to the two of them working on his speech, and his Ma tried very hard to understand what was going on. There was no doubt that Seiki had an instinct for what was needed better than Karik's Ma, though. He would really have to depend on himself and no one else once he was back home. He wanted to be able to speak normally so much he could almost taste it. His Pa and Risa had decided they really had to return to the village eight days after they arrived in Darshek, so on the day before they were to leave, Kei took Karik back to see Titira – this time without Seiki, at Titira's insistence. She listened to him talk to Kei and considered that his speech was slightly more fluent. "It is such a shame we can't have you here for a little longer, young man. Determination can only get you so far, and since you've had only a rudimentary instruction, I fear you may not really be able to achieve as much as you could." "Karik might come back next year," Kei offered. "Well then, we can work with you when you come back. Now, while I have you, please try this." She ran him through some vocal exercises, and got him to sing a little. She told him he had quite a pleasant voice – nothing remarkable, but it was no hardship to listen to him, apparently. "But singing your village songs isn't enough, I'm afraid. I'm sorry, Master Kei. There's so much I would like to try with these new ideas Seiki had given me."

Kei bowed low in response to her politeness. "Never mind, Mistress Titira. I'm very grateful to you for your assistance." "Yes, th...ank you," Karik said, trying to suppress the stammer as Seiki had demonstrated, with a little success. Since his parents and Risa and Seiki were all busy elsewhere, Kei suggested that they visit the menagerie one more time. Karik again felt the pang of regret about Jembis and all that had flowed from his actions that fateful day, as they stood watching the tewis – he couldn't help wondering what had happened to the cubs they had looked after on the trip. "I remember about what you said, about how they capture these poor things," Kei said, watching the fat male pace. "It's so wrong, to kill the mother like that, when it's for nothing but a rich man's pleasure." "Yes, I kn-know." Obviously sensing Karik's unease, Kei led them away to where the birds were caged. He crouched down to look at the pesquils, but it was clear the little birds weren't what was on his mind. "After what Titira said, you know what I'm going to suggest, don't you, Karik? Have you hated being up here that much?" "N-No. But I c-can't face leaving Ma and Pa." Kei looked up at him. "Yes, I know, and I'm the last person to deny how awful homesickness can be. But you don't see what I've seen, how you've blossomed this last week. You were rather...timid, I think is the best term. Clinging to Reji and Jena as if you were afraid you would be taken from them. You've gradually lost that, and you've already made friends, made an impression – I tell you, Karik, the world is there for you to seize. How do you feel about going back to face Jos as you are now?" At the sound of the name he'd managed to forget entirely for several days, Karik's stomach gave a lurch. "I guess I...." He stopped, feeling paralysed by his revulsion at the idea. "Not really looking forward to it, are you?" Karik shook his head. "Now, how do you feel about being able to lose your stutter, spend more time with Reis and Seiki and me, use the library and learn more about anatomy and botany?" Karik couldn't help it – the lurch in his stomach became a flutter of excitement, and of course, Kei knew it, and had been expecting it. "I wuh-want to go home. I

don't wuh-want Jos to push me out," he said, his hands clenching into frustrated fists. "I don't wuh-want him to win." Kei stood up and dusted off his trousers. "Karik, the only difference I can see between you going back now, and you going back in three months' time, is that you will have had a wonderful, fulfilling time if you stay and then you can go back and show that bastard that being Prijian is actually something to be proud of. Or you can go back now and live the way you were. Were you really that happy after you got back from Utuk?" "No," Karik muttered. "Everything wuh-was different." "Yes, I bet it was. It was when I came back home the first time too. You can't go back, you see. Not to how it was. You can only go back to how it is now, how you feel about it now. You're no longer a child. The village of our childhood has gone forever, though it hurts to say that." Karik looked at him in despair. "I n-need to go home. I wuh-want to...." His fists clenched even tighter. Did Kei mean he could never live happily in Ai-Albon again? Kei put his hand on his shoulder and that act seemed to take away some of Karik's anguish. "Calm down," he said gently. "Come and sit." There was a bench nearby onto which Kei sank, pulling Karik down. "I went through all this myself when I had to consider possibly leaving the village to be with Arman. I was torn between desperately wanting things to stay as they were, because I'd had so much trouble and sadness being a hostage and my parents dying before that, and desperately wanting to be with Arman because I loved him. I was afraid of losing all that made me happy. Fortunately, Arman made the decision easy because he came home with me, and then by the time he needed to leave, I was ready – I'd had time to adjust. That's what I'm offering you – time. But time doing something, not hiding, not pretending things can't change, or that things will just get better on their own. Do you honestly want to live in Ai-Albon looking after beasts for the rest of your life?" "No. But Meran and K-Keiji and G-Gyo...." "Yes, I know you'll miss them, but there are bigger issues affecting you." Kei sighed. "I swore I wouldn't do this to you, put pressure on you, because it's not fair. But damn it, Karik, I know you're thinking about it, I can feel your fear and I don't want you to make a decision based on fear. I nearly made that mistake and I nearly lost the most precious thing in the world to me. Make your decision

on what makes you happy, not on what makes you afraid. The Joses and Mykises of the world want you to react to their bullying, so they control you. Don't let that happen." "Ar-man hates me. If I s-stay, he'll be ah-angry." "No, he won't. Karik, I discussed you coming to stay with us with him. He said he would talk to you about the situation with your mother and with him. I can't promise that will be an easy conversation but he doesn't hate you. I would know if he did, remember?" Kei's expression was earnest, pleading with Karik to believe him. "To be sure, he gets pretty emotional about you and I don't think even he knows why – I can only guess, but I don't think I understand it any more than he does. But he's not a bully trying to destroy your life to make himself feel better. You can't go through life avoiding difficult people." Arman wasn't exactly difficult – more terrifying – and he was a killer too, not that Karik really thought his father would murder him, not with his own hands. "I h-have to decide soon." "Yes, you know you do. I'll tell you a secret – Titira didn't ask to see you on her own. I asked Jena and Reji to let me have you to myself this morning so we could talk. But now I've said my piece and I won't say more. If you're not ready to decide, then I respect that. If you want to change your mind and come up later, your Pa says you can come back with him anytime you want. If it's next year, or the year after, or never, then so be it. I know it's been a damn tough few months for you. I just want you to think about why you're doing what you're doing." He held out his hand. "Friends?" "Always," Karik said, accepting the hand and squeezing it. How could he be angry when Kei so obviously wanted the best for him, just as his parents did? "Then I'm glad. Why don't we take the long way back to the academy? It's such a lovely day – I adore the spring in Darshek." It was a beautiful day, and the breeze from the harbour was fresh and uplifting to the spirit. It being Darshek, there were always people around, but the harbourside path wasn't that crowded, so he and Kei could walk unhindered. It seemed to Karik that Kei was a little sad, perhaps because they were all leaving the following day. "You r-really miss him?" Kei turned to him and smiled. "Am I that obvious? Yes, I miss him. It's been such a blessing having you all around this week, and an excuse not to sleep in our bed on my own. It worries me, really, that I'm so hopeless without him. If

anything ever happened to him...." He drew in a breath. "Ah, but this is depressing and there's no reason to imagine him anything but completely safe." "K-Kei, duh-oes it bother you that h-he's a killer?" "A killer? I don't really think of him like that, Karik. The war was a long time ago. He was doing what he thought was the right thing to do. He doesn't kill now, and never would do, I know that." Karik thought Kei sounded on the verge of being annoyed and was sorry to have asked the question. He walked on in silence, thinking about Arman, thinking about what it would mean if he stayed and had to face the man. Kei stopped after a minute or two. "I suppose it looks bad, doesn't it? That I just say it's in the past, and dismiss it." "I don't kn-know." "You see, this was a big thing for us. That he had killed, that I abhor killing. But you can't forever punish someone for what they have done if they're genuinely remorseful, and have done everything in their power to make amends. It's not that I don't care, Karik. I just know the man he is now is not who he was then. I love both men, I just don't think I could have lived with who he was." He smiled rather ruefully. "Does that answer your question?" "Yes. I th-think so. Kei – h-how can Reis l-love two people at once?" Kei's smile was happier this time, and he motioned to Karik to start walking with him again. "You're full of questions today – are you thinking of falling in love with someone?" Karik flushed. "N-No!" "Are you sure? You sound a bit defensive." Karik glared at him. "I'm only teasing, Ka-chi. The answer is that we usually all love more than one person at the same time. You love your Ma and Pa, don't you?" "Y-Yes, but...." "But being in love's different." He sighed. "There was a time when I loved two people, and if one of them had been willing, I might have been very happy to live as Reis does. But they would not have been – most people would not be, you must know that – and as it turned out, it was right that I didn't end up with both.

Now Arman is all I need, even if once I might have wanted more. Reis is different. He needs Neris and Meda, and they – particularly Neris – need the other two. They're not like you, Karik. You have grown up with love all your life. Reis and Neris were rejected by those they loved, and had to find another way of filling the void. Both were starving for affection and turned to one another as friends. Then Meda came along and filled that part of their need they could not offer each other. I think Reis is one of the most amazing people I know, and not because of his powers. So many people in his situation would become bitter and angry, and reject the world. He responds by opening his heart to it. Did you not feel that when you met him?" "Y-Yes. Like a ch-child." "Exactly like a child. Honest and open and accepting. He's a walking miracle. Wyma loves him very much, because he is so pure in his soul." "Wh-who did you love?" "Ah, now, that's none of your business, Ka-chi. Leave this old fool with some dignity, will you?" The idea of Kei being elderly was completely destroyed by the cheeky tongue he stuck out at Karik. "I was very young and very greedy. Let's leave it at that." Karik wasn't entirely content with that but it would be rude to push. However, he bet his Ma would know. He was suddenly very curious to know who Kei could have loved before Arman. They had arranged to meet the others in the dining hall, and as they came into the room, they saw Karik's parents just about to sit down. Risa and Seiki were already there. "What did she say?" Seiki asked. "Some imp-provement but sh-she wants me to wu-ork with her some more." "Did she say you'd be able to work on it alone?" his Pa wanted to know. "A bit. B-But I've decided I-I'm going to stay. Uh-Until the summer." Kei, who was just about to sit, froze and stared at him. His mother reached for his father's hand, and Risa looked them both in concern. Seiki was the only one who wasn't shocked. "That's great, Karik! I'm sure you can improve a lot." "Karik, are you sure?" His mother's voice was quiet, and she was clearly trying to sound neutral, but her eyes were suspiciously bright.

"If yuh-you d-don't wuh-want me t-to, I wuh-won't." The decision he had come to so quickly, just as quickly seemed quite wrong – he didn't want his Ma to cry. "No, wait, son." Pa took his hand. "It's just a surprise to us, but if it's what you want, I think it's a good thing. You know I already thought so even before we knew about the stuttering cure. Jena love?" Ma cleared her throat and smiled, though it looked forced. "Yes, Karik, if it's what you want, of course you should do it." Risa stood up. "Karik, come for a walk with me, will you?" Surprised, Karik was at a loss what to do, but Kei cocked his head and indicated he should go. "Seiki, why don't you go with them? Lunch can wait a few minutes." She nodded. Risa clapped Karik on the shoulder and indicated they should walk out the back of the building, to the gardens. Karik felt horrible – he had been persuaded by Kei's argument, and hadn't thought how his parents would receive it. Risa took them to sit under a tree. "It'll be all right, Ka-chi. Jena was just a bit emotional because she had been saying goodbye to some friends this morning." "Oh. S-So it's not b-bad?" "No, I don't think so. It's a surprise, that's all. Not saying we won't miss you for a few months," he said with a grin, ruffling Karik's hair. "I'm sorry your mother's sad, Karik. But I'm happy about it," Seiki said. "I didn't want you to go home so soon. I mean. I just met you," she added, giving him a shy smile. "I think it's good," Risa said firmly. "You're wasted in the village, Ka-chi, and you'll be doing us all a favour if you'll look after Kei for us. Poor sod's really suffering without Arman being here. You'll take his mind off it. I know your Pa will be grateful for that." "Pa?" Why his Pa more than any one else? "Well, of course. Kei's Reji's best friend. They used to be lovers after all." Seiki blushed and looked away. Karik didn't know where to look. "Uh...."

"Oh...pissing hells. You didn't know." Risa bit his lip. "Gods, please don't tell them I said... I just thought you knew. It's not a secret – it was years ago." He rubbed his forehead. "Reji will kill me. Arman will beat me to death. I'm sorry." "It's all r-right, I wuh-won't say." But it explained a lot, now he thought about it. "It's n-not important." "It's not like that now," Risa said, still obviously worried about his indiscretion. "Reji adores your Ma, you know that. He and Kei – there's nothing going on, I promise." Karik patted his hand. "I kn-know. Don't wuh-worry." "Are you going to come home with them in the summer?" "I guess. Huh-haven't discussed it." "Well, if you want to come back sooner, all you have to do is hitch a lift with a trader going south. It's not like you're going away for years, Karik. Your parents wanted you to do this, I know." Karik wasn't so sure. Risa's right, you know. I know Jena was already upset before you arrived. I think it will be all right, Karik. I don't want to hurt them, Seiki. I know how much I'll miss them. I know. But at least you can go home afterwards. He took her hand and made her look at him. I'm really sorry. I wish there was something I could do. You can't. But then she smiled. I've had so much fun this week, with you and them. I'll always be grateful for that. And now you'll be here a little longer – it's wonderful for me. "Good things c-come from b-bad things," he murmured, which made Risa look at him curiously. "Ah, Kei just said to come back," she said, getting to her feet. "Now, Ka-chi, if you're going to do this, it's important that Reji and Jena feel you're happy about it. So lose that sad look or you'll only upset them, all right?"

Karik nodded and made himself smile brightly. Seiki pulled a face at him. "Now you just look silly," she said in disgust, which made Risa laugh. "Don't overdo it, Karik, they'll think you're glad to see the back of them. Come on." Seiki held his hand as they walked back to the dining hall. Kei was now sitting next to Karik's Ma, and his Pa had his arm around her shoulders. She looked up as they approached. "Oh, Ka-chi, I'm sorry. I didn't want you to think you shouldn't stay. This is a wonderful opportunity for you, and just think what Titira can do for you." He wasn't the only one trying to look cheerful, he knew, but he responded to her words, rather than her slightly reddened eyes. "It's oh-only for three m-months." "I was just saying to Kei that if we time things right, I might even be up here when you all come back," his Pa said. "We could make a little caravan, so Lord Arman can travel in style. What do you think?" "Good idea." "Fine, then I'll see how my plans go." "You know," Seiki said politely, "you and Jena can talk through me anytime you want. Even if Neka's busy – it's not like I will have so many other things to do." "Thank you, dear," his Ma said, squeezing her hand. "That would be kind, and a comfort. But you and Karik aren't to spend all your time thinking about us. Karik, you're to make the most of this and work hard. It's a wonderful chance for you – Meran will be insanely jealous." Kei held his hands up. "Gods, I hope she doesn't try to get Myka to persuade me to let her come up early. Karik's one thing, a fourteen-year-old girl is too much for me to handle." Karik's Pa raised an eyebrow. "You've changed your tune. I can remember when you and fourteen-year-old girls were on a very intimate basis indeed. He was only fourteen himself, mind you," he added with a wink to Karik. Kei sniffed. "That's all in the past," he said with immense dignity. "Now I'm respectable and I have to think of how it would look." Risa coughed and grinned, and Karik's Pa's expression made it clear that he frankly disbelieved that statement. "Look, you lot, dealing with you is one thing, but if Meran was up

here, Myka would probably want to stay here too, and my sanity wouldn't last that long, I'm sorry." "Your sister is a lovely woman," his Ma said, her smile now actually reaching her eyes. "She's an absolute terror now she's a mother," Kei said. "I have to behave myself around her, it's sickening." "Sounds like Myka coming to stay might be good for you," his Pa said, still grinning. "And who says you're not going to behave around my son?" his Ma said, turning to glare at her friend. "Does that mean I have to stay and make sure you do?" "Oh, gods – Reji, don't you dare let her...." "Let? Let?" She began to tug on his braid in admonishment. Risa smirked at her making Kei cower in terror while Karik's Pa attempted to look dignified, but had to cover his mouth as he laughed. The servant who had come to bring the food seemed completely nonplussed at their antics. They're silly for adults, don't you think? Karik turned to Seiki. They've been like this all my life. I don't think they'll ever change. I hope not, she said, grinning. This is going to be fun.

Karik stretched, and shook his hand to get rid of the cramp. Probably time to stop for the day – the library was clearing out. Kei hadn't come to collect him, but then he wasn't expecting him as Kei had had to go to the House of the Gifted. He and Seiki were going to go there mid-afternoon so Kei could make his regular check on Wyma's health. Karik had said he would follow them later and that was now.

As always, he had to blink to get used to the bright sunshine after the cool, indirect light of the library. It was also a lot warmer outside – he'd not been outdoors since the morning, and thought guiltily that his Ma would be cross to know that. It was just so fascinating in the library, all the books and maps, all the information he was making notes on. He'd make up for it by working in the academy garden tomorrow, he told himself. People nodded to him and smiled as he walked out of the building – after six weeks, he was becoming a familiar figure to many, and he knew quite a lot of their names now. Having Kei as a guardian helped, of course, and his friendship with the Gifted had not gone unremarked, but he had also made friends on his own behalf. There was Lorus, a young man from Kuplik, here to study medicine with Kei, Tiremza from Andon, who was going to be an engineer, and Kati from Urshek, who was a pupil of Master Jezinke and was here to exchange ideas with the masters in the north. People from all over Periter who found Karik not the least bit odd for being a Prij, and who were only interested in what he knew, and what he could talk to them about. Today, he didn’t run into anyone in particular as he left the academy – it was a little earlier than most would leave, and later than some. The main square was bustling as it always was, people going in and out of the House of the Rulers, or headed to the banking district, or simply to come and admire the sights, since Darshek was considered a gracious city by Darshianese standards, and even some of the hardier and wealthy Prij visited at their leisure. A few had made their homes in the city, though it was not encouraged by the Rulers, Kei had told him. Karik walked across the square, taking advantage of the shade trees since it was still very hot. The heat was taking some getting used to. Kei said it got even worse than this in the summer – Karik just hoped they had gone back to the village before that. As he passed in front of the House of the Rulers, he noticed a dishevelledlooking, elderly man standing staring at the building, a strange, rather wild expression on his face as if he was lost, or upset. By his dress and rough appearance, he looked like he might be a farmer up in Darshek for the first time, perhaps disoriented by the city. As Karik approached him, he saw how the man's fists were clenching at his sides in a rather spasmodic way. Wondering if the man were ill, he touched his shoulder. Immediately, the man whirled on him. "Pissing Prij! Keep your filthy hands off me, you piece of urs shit!" Shocked at the viciousness of his tone, Karik stepped back automatically, and the man stalked off and disappeared among the passers-by. It was likely, Karik

thought, that the man hadn't realised he spoke Darshianese, but it still wasn't very nice of him. He hadn't actually encountered any anti-Prijian prejudice since he'd been in Darshek, so to be reminded of the exact same attitude he'd left behind in the village was an unpleasant shock. Shrugging off the strange encounter as best he could, he walked up the road towards the house of the Gifted where he had been over half a dozen times now. He'd have gone more often if Reis and Seiki had had their way, but Kei had limited the visits, saying that it was important to remember that many of the Gifted were still wary of strangers, and quite a few disliked any one 'normal' visiting at all. If Kei was there, then Karik could go. He preferred Karik didn't visit on his own, and since Karik was anxious not to damage the special relationship he had with these extraordinary people, or to abuse the honour they gave him in letting him visit at all, he was happy to obey. As he approached the gate he began to rise off the ground, and grinned. Reis – the first time this happened, he'd been flabbergasted, but now he just relaxed and let the mind-mover lift him gracefully over the walls and float him to the front door, where he was waiting for Karik. "You know, I h-have legs, Reis." Reis hugged him. "I know, but it's more fun like that, yes?" And Karik had to admit it was – he would never get tired of flying, he knew, even if someone else had to do it for him. "Come on, everyone's missed you! We're having tea in the garden, and Kira made some cakes just for Kei and you." Kira being one of the few of the Gifted who liked to cook and who was any good at it, Karik knew he was in for a treat. There was only a small group of people in the garden, and he took his place on the grass next to Seiki. Kei waved hello to him but barely paused in his animated conversation he was having with Jera. Meda poured Karik some tea and asked him how he was enjoying the study at the academy. "I l-like it a lot. The beast anatomy l-lectures are interesting." "You're speaking much better these days," she said. "I hope that's not a rude thing to say." He smiled, as did Seiki. "No. I'm pl-eased." He still struggled with words, but he was learning to elongate sounds rather than repeat them. He went to see Titira twice a week and he and Seiki spent an hour each day working on the exercises. She had started studying with Titira with the idea of being able to teach some other children the same technique. Her voice, unlike Karik's, was exceptional and Titira thought she should commence full training as a singer. Seiki wasn't sure about that – she wanted to do 'real work', and being a singer didn't appeal much, she'd said.

"Oh, Kei, tell him the news!" Reis said. "Oh, yes, Karik, I nearly forgot. We got letters from Andon today – Lord Jiv should be back in a few days and Arman should be back in a week. He should have left yesterday." "Nearly forgot, my bottom," Neka said, chuckling. "The man talked of nothing else for half an hour when he got here." "That's not true, Wyma and I spoke of at least one other thing," Kei said indignantly, but his grin showed his delight. Arman's return had been delayed for several weeks, something which had upset Kei a good deal. To know he was finally on his way had to be a relief. Of course it brought the day closer when Karik would have to talk to him again, but he knew that was always going to come. "Maybe next time we should all go to Andon," Reis said. "We could make sure everyone got home like that," he said, snapping his fingers. "I don't want to go to Andon," Neris said with a scowl. "Too pissing cold." "No one's going to Andon," Kei said. "I'm nailing Arman's feet to the ground the moment he gets back. If he even thinks of going away again, I'll dose him with pijn for a month until he forgets about it." "Oh, don't tell me you haven't enjoyed him being away?" This was Kira, coming up to them with a plate of sweet cakes, and sitting down to put her bounty before them. Reis leapt on the food as if he was starving and pouted when Meda slapped his hand. "One would never guess," she added dryly, which made everyone grin. "How is Wyma?" Karik asked, accepting a cake. "Perfectly well, as usual. I wish I could say that about people I know twenty-five years his junior." Karik knew he was referring to Lord Meki, whose health was always a concern. "I don't know why I bother checking him, except I love to talk to him so much." "And he enjoys your visits, too," Meda said. "Perhaps he's only so well because you come to see him all the time." "Um, Meda, that's not how it works," Kei pointed out. "I'm not a prophylactic medicine," which comment made Karik nearly choke on his cake.

"You seem to keep Arman pretty fit," Jera said. "It'll be good to see him again. It's been so odd, him not being in Darshek. You get used to someone being around all the time, then you want to tell them something and they're not there any more. Like they've died." "Oh, thanks, Jera, I need that thought right now," Kei said. "As if I wasn't worried enough about him sailing back over those seas." Neka gave him a hug, and stroked his face. "Don't be worried, Kei," she said in a quiet voice. "People sail safely from Andon all the time." "If it was perfectly safe, they wouldn’t be asking Jiv and Arman to travel separately with half our people each," he snapped. "I'm sorry," he apologised immediately, taking her hand. "I just worry." "We understand," Jera said. "We know it's been hard." Kei tried to smile, but Karik was surprised to see how close to tears he was. Meda just held him close, and Reis moved closed so he could hug him from behind. Poor Kei, Seiki said. I wish we could do something for him, like send Reis across the sea to fetch Arman right now. He'd do it in an instant, Karik said. But Wyma and the Rulers won't let any of you put yourselves at that kind of risk. They did during the war. Everyone here went to Kuprij then. Yes, but that was special, Seiki. They can't use the Gifted every time someone goes on a ship. Kei wouldn't allow it. I guess. But Kei is so worried. I know. But when Arman gets back, he'll be fine. She nodded and bit into her cake. I should be terrified to sail out in the middle of the ocean like that. I'd be worried that we would sink, every minute. It's scary during a storm, I know that. But the rest of the time, it's not bad. I don't think I'm as brave as you.

Well, I didn't have a lot of choice, the first time, and you can't stay scared forever. It's too tiring. I suppose. I'm going to work in the garden tomorrow. Want to join me? Sure! Seiki didn't know much about gardening, or plants, but she was curious to learn about anything new, so she was happy to follow Karik's lead. Karik was more than happy to have her company, since he missed that of his friends in the village more than he thought he would. At least Gyo had written to say that he and his parents were planning to be in Ai-Albon for Kei's annual visit, so Karik would see him almost as soon as he got back. But that was at least another three months away yet – over two months before they left and then the journey itself. Karik was torn between wanting to go home and see his parents again and wanting to stay in Darshek for months and months longer – he hadn't even scratched the surface of what he would learn here. Kei was already talking about the books he could take back with him, and the study he wanted Karik to do before he came back to the city. Already Kei was assuming Karik would return, and Karik realised he was doing the same thing. Much as he hated being homesick (although he spoke to his parents every few days thanks to Seiki and Neka's kindness), the idea of not returning, of not seeing his new friends, of not being able to visit the academy to read the latest papers, seemed unthinkable. Of course, the one thing that would kill that idea dead would be if he and Arman could not overcome their estrangement. Kei was sure they could, and while Arman was far away, it seemed to Karik it was possible too. But now the man was just a week from returning, and Karik felt his doubts returning in force, especially remembering the cold expression on his face the last time Karik had seen him. If Arman forbade him from coming back to Darshek, either as Kei's lover or as a Ruler, Karik would have very little argument against it. Kei was calm again, he saw, and now cheerfully munching cakes, complimenting Kira on them and lamenting how Pira always rationed them out when she made them. One would never guess to look at him how much anxiety he held in his heart, or how his nights were frequently disturbed by bad dreams which made him mutter and cry out. Several mornings, Kei had obviously been up long before Karik, working in the kitchen, cleaning, or setting the laundry to boil, and Karik was sure the man had not slept at all. Did Arman have any idea how much Kei suffered when he was away, Karik wondered? If this was what

being in love with someone meant, Karik wasn't sure he wanted to experience it all. It seemed too painful. Finally, even Kei's appetite was sated. "Right, young Karik, we better get back and see what Pira's up to." He got to his feet and told everyone else to not bother seeing him out. Seiki waved to them as they left. "So, tell me what you remember of the skeletal structure of the urs beast," Kei said. Karik grinned. He'd known Kei was going to do this. He took his teaching duties very seriously for all his silliness, and woe betide any of his students who didn't pay attention in his lectures. He didn't mind stupidity half as much as he minded laziness. Fortunately, the beast anatomy was something with which Karik was already familiar, since he'd watch Peit butcher so many of the things, so he rattled off the major bones and the attached muscles, enumerated the vertebrae and the fact that the fourth toe was in fact located close to the knee. "Hmmm, and the temple bone...." "Is not a t-true bone but a m-mass of solidified hair." "Excellent. But don't get cocky, Ka-chi. Next week is the dolphin and those are pissing hard to remember." Kei grinned. "And your speech is coming on very nicely indeed. How are you finding the drawing classes?" Kei had decided that if Karik was really going to be a plant hunter for him, he needed to learn to draw properly. Unfortunately, the art master was a dry, humourless man with a thin, high voice that was really quite unpleasant to listen to. He reminded Karik very strongly of the tutor in Utuk. "Um, I...don't l-like them much." "No, I thought not. Rorik is a very good artist, but he's not really interested in people who aren't as naturally talented as he is. Well, do what you can, and perhaps when you come back, I'll see if Meda can give you some private lessons. She does sometimes, and she already likes you, but there's no point in wasting her time on a novice. Let Rorik knock your rough edges off and she can have you all nicely softened up," he said, ruffling Karik's hair. It was still very hot, though the sun was going to set soon and bring with it some welcome relief. People were still thronging the paths and streets, and Karik suddenly remembered the strange man he'd encountered. He told Kei about him

and Kei frowned. "That was unpleasant, by the sound of it. I don't think I've heard of that happening up here before, but then I suppose I wouldn't." "I think he was a l-little touched." "Possibly. Would you know him again?" "I think so." The man had stood out in several ways, though Karik supposed if he was cleaned up and changed his clothes, he might pass Karik by unnoticed. "Hmm. If you see him again, let me know, will you? He might indeed be ill – we might be able to help him." Karik nodded. "He might h-have gone home." "That too. And speaking of home...fancy a race?" Kei was just as damn sneaky as Gyo and the bastard had the same long legs. Karik was still a short arse. That was something that all the classes in the world couldn't change.

Chapter 8 It was odd how the last couple of hours of the journey from Andon seemed to go almost as slowly as any of the previous eight, Arman thought as he paced impatiently on the deck, half wishing he could just dive overboard and swim the miles left to him. The shoreline of Darshek seemed to be getting no closer at all. But of course, it was, and quite suddenly, or so it seemed, the sailors had begun their usual flurry of activity, getting the ship ready for docking. All Arman had to do was keep out of the way, and restrain himself from leaping onto the dockside before it was safe. At least his new dignity as a Ruler came in useful now – no humping his pack and scrounging a lift for him this time. No, this time a carriage was waiting and his belongings were quickly taken in charge. All he had to do was acknowledge the salute of the soldiers who had come to accompany him to the House, and climb into the jesig-drawn vehicle. "Welcome home, my lord. My lord Meki has requested you come to see him. He said to let you know that Master Kei will be at the House too." Arman grinned – Lord Meki would know that he had not a chance in any hells of getting any time from him before he'd seen Kei again. "Thank you. May we go?" The carriage was driven smartly along the road to the city, not fast enough for Arman, but then, only the power of a mind-mover could take him as quickly as he wanted. Nearly three months away – gods, he would not do that again. Apart from anything else, he would have to strangle Lord Jiv, which would be unfortunate. The other Ruler was a good, dependable and hard-working man, but not exactly a vivacious or unusually imaginative one – but then Arman had been completely spoiled in that respect. He forced himself to maintain proper decorum and not go flying up the steps of the House, dressed as he was in the official robes. But he walked as quickly as was graceful up the steps and into the cool, elegant foyer. A clerk came up immediately and bowed. "Welcome back, my lord. Master Kei is in your office." "Thank you. Have a message sent to Lord Meki, please, to say I'll be up there...uh, at some point," he finished rather lamely. For some reason he just had a feeling Kei might not be satisfied with a brief welcome. The clerk seemed to think so too, judging by her grin. "Of course, my lord."

He strode through the corridors, barely remembering to be polite and acknowledge the bows and murmured welcomes of the people who passed him. He flung open the door of his office, and found Kei sitting in his chair. "Oh, you're back," Kei said casually. "So soon? I hardly noticed you'd been gone." "You...." He stalked over to the desk and hauled Kei up, hugging him fiercely. "Oh gods, I missed you. I never want to do that again. Never." He attacked Kei's wanton mouth, quite unable to restrain his hunger for the taste and feel of him, his desperate need to touch his lover. "Then pissing don't," Kei said as soon as Arman let freed his lips for a second. "Please don't, I don't think I could stand this again." They held each other for quite some time – Kei was shaking, Arman realised, and not just with relief. "I'm so sorry," he murmured. "If I'd known it would be three months instead of two...." "I don't care if it was two weeks – please don't go away again, Arman." "No. I won't. I don't care how important it is. If you can't come with me, I won't go. I promise." "I'll damn well hold you to that, you bastard," Kei said, kissing him again. "And you need a shave." "I need a shave, a bath, a hot meal, and a long, long evening making love to you. You better not have plans for at least a week," he growled. "None," Kei said, grinning. "Only...." "Only? Kei, you better not have invited people over, because the invitations are cancelled by decree of Lord Arman, Ruler of Darshek." "Of course, your lordship, anything you say, your lordship. No, silly – Karik's staying with us and I'm due to go to the prison island again tomorrow. But that's only the one night." Arman pulled back and Kei took the opportunity to sit on the edge of the desk, still keeping a proprietary hold around his waist. "Karik? I thought he wasn't going to stay after all." "He changed his mind when he got up here. I convinced him to, so don't get cranky."

"I'm not cranky, just surprised," he said stiffly. The last thing he felt like doing this evening was having a discussion with the boy. "You are cranky, don't lie to me, you nitwit. It's all right – he knows we'll want some privacy." "You bet I want some damn privacy – I've had precious little of that, I can tell you, and that damn Jiv...good gods, he snores like a beast with lung fever." Kei grinned, and finally his expression lost all the strain that had lain behind it. "So you only love me because I don't snore?" "Indeed, what other possible reason could I have?" He kissed Kei again and held him for a moment longer. "I have to see Meki, but I know he'll understand. I can give him my report tomorrow." "Yes, go off and see him, I know he'll glad of that. I was worried you'd be delayed and I wouldn't be here myself." "If willpower could have made the ship go faster, I'd have been back a week ago, I assure you. I take it the boy has been behaving himself?" "The boy is Karik and yes, he has." Kei poked him on the nose. "You are to be nice to him. You said you would." "Yes, Master Kei," Arman said meekly. He was definitely not going to argue about pissing Karik on his first night home. "Give me a few minutes and we can take a carriage home." "No need – we can stay here tonight, I've arranged it all. Go see him and I'll be upstairs. Heating the bath, of course." Kei gave him a look which assured him that the bath wasn't all that would be heating up. "Take your time," he added sweetly.

Arman hoped Lord Meki hadn't found his undue haste rude, but somehow, he felt the elderly Ruler understood the need. Certainly the reward he got for returning smartly to his chambers made it worth any amount of possible offence he might have caused.

Afterwards, lying sated and tired in Kei's arms, he gently stroked up and down the smooth skin of Kei's chest. "Was it very lonely?" Kei heaved a sigh. "It could have been worse. Once Reji came up, it was better – oh, and I didn’t tell you, Jena came with them." "Jena? Good gods, why did she do that?" "She claimed someone needed to make sure I was behaving." Arman chuckled – it sounded like something she would say. "But the real reason was Karik. Not so much for him – for her. She's been hit very hard by this, Arman. I think she's more traumatised than he is, because of the war...." Kei shifted so Arman could look into his eyes. "The war was the only wanton violence any of us had seen. But this attack...and for it to be by our own people...Jena is not dealing with it at all." "I wonder she let Karik stay." "I think left to her, she wouldn't have been able to. But Reji convinced her it was best for him, and I believe it is. I wished she could have stayed longer. I miss her." Arman took Kei's hand in his. "She's been as much as a sister as Myka, it's true." "More like a twin soul. The blood relationship is unimportant." For Kei, this was literally true. He'd built his family by hand, weaving in his real blood relations and his adopted ones until the seams no longer showed. Former lovers and present, friends – and protégés. "How is Karik getting on? How long is he staying?" "Well, that was subtle," Kei said with a grin. "Karik is getting on very well – oh, and that's the other big news. Seiki's mother cured her of stuttering, and with Mistress Titira's help, Seiki is working the same miracle on Karik." "Really? How is it that you're only finding out about this now?' He was surprised to see Kei's handsome face twist into a fierce scowl. "Because a certain pretty little healer with a grudge against Jena, you, me and Reji, knew perfectly well what Seiki's mother had done and 'forgot' to pass on the information. Strange that, considering there had been several official requests from the Master of Healers that any information at all about stammerers in their villages be passed on to him."

Arman tried to recall where Seiki was from. "Ah. Maya?" He couldn't recall the name of the woman, though the quarrel was stamped very firmly in his mind. "Mara. Pissing Mara. As if Jena did anything to her, or if it's Karik's fault Aldik's a dithering fool. I ask you, Arman, how petty is that, to punish an innocent child because of your dislike of the parents? " Arman felt a twinge of guilt, as he recalled he had done something not so very different in his own way – at least, he had rejected the infant Karik for that reason. "I take it she's been apprised of your displeasure." "You bet she has. Not just mine – I got Lord Meki to send a stinging rebuke for being so neglectful of her duty." "Ouch." Lord Meki's rebukes were probably more painful than a public flogging, and quite as humiliating. "Still, now we know – has he lost the stammer completely?" "No, not entirely. It will take a while, Titira says. She says being the age he is, he's had a long time for the habit to become ingrained. But he's more confident when he speaks – he's more confident anyway. He's blooming nicely, Arman. You'll hardly recognise him, I swear." "Well, we'll see. I'm glad you've had his company. I owe him a debt of gratitude for that, at the very least." Kei sighed again. "You're so stiff and formal about the boy, Arman. He's just Reji and Jena's son. Forget the rest of it. What possible harm can he do you?" "It hardly matters, since he's already managed to do quite enough." Suddenly, Kei sat up and looked down at him, his dark eyes showing a flash of anger. "Do you blame him for Urso's death, still? Here I was telling him you didn't – are you making me a liar?" "Peace, Kei. Calm down. No, I don't – I was thinking of Father, really." But Kei wasn't the least appeased. "And how is Karik responsible for that? Arman, you may as well blame me for being taken a hostage! How can you be so unfair?" Wearily, Arman pushed himself up to a sitting position too. "I merely meant the boy was the cause of harm – I never said he meant it."

"You may as well have done," Kei snapped. "The poor lad has been worried sick about you coming back, and I've been telling him what a decent, reasonable person you are. Are you to prove yourself anything but?" "Are we going to argue about him all night? I just got back." "I'm aware of that, thank you. I've had three months to wish for it. But if I'd known you were going to bring this childish grudge back with you, I might not have been so eager." "You rate that boy higher than me, by the sound of it." "You...." Kei pressed his lips together angrily, and climbed off the bed. "Just...grow up, Arman. Karik can't help who his mother is, and if your father wants to throw money he doesn’t want and doesn't need away for his own reasons, how is that Karik's fault?" "How do you know he doesn't need it? You think it's better in Mekus' hands than in my nephew's, or my niece's? Can't you imagine what perverted use he'll put that money to? Money my father worked hard for?" "You make it sound like he dug it out of the rocks with his bare hands. There's not a nobleman in Kuprij who works as hard as the least of our farmers." Despite himself, Arman felt his temper rising. "So that makes it all right, does it? My father's sacrifice is only worth throwing back in my face and his?" "If you're going to be petty, Arman, why shouldn't I be? You rate the money more than the boy. I thought you were better than that." "I don't... why are you getting so upset about this?" "Because I've spent weeks with Karik, encouraging him, watching him get over a vicious attack and years of prejudice, and here you are, trying to drag him back into the mud!" Kei stalked out into the other room. Arman rubbed his forehead – how in hells had this argument erupted so fast, and over something so stupid? He got up and went out to the main room. Kei was getting dressed in sharp, jerky movements. "For the gods' sake, Kei. Please, you don't need to go. I'm sorry."

"You're not. We've had this discussion before, and I thought you'd accepted Karik wasn't responsible for what happened in Utuk, but you're still holding onto that resentment." "And of course, us having an argument about it is really going to make me feel kindly towards him." Kei jabbed a finger towards him. "You need to think about why he upsets you so much. I give up, Arman. I've tried and tried to talk to you about this, and you won't see how irrational you are. Now, I'm going home. You think about it, and we'll speak when I get back from the island. I suggest you go home tomorrow night, and talk to the boy. If you don't...well, then...." "Are you threatening to leave me? Over him?" "Not leave you. But...Arman, I won't live with a coward. Sort it out, then come back to me." "Kei, you're being completely unreasonable. Stay and talk about it. Please." For a moment, he thought his lover would change his mind, but then his expression hardened. "No. You won't take this seriously unless I go. Karik is my family, Arman. Like Jena, like Reji, like Myka. You get over this animosity. It's based on nothing but blind prejudice and I'm sick of it. I've been sick of it since the Prij first came into my life." "If that's how you feel about meeting me, then perhaps you'd really better go." Kei grabbed his boots. "You know where I'll be, Arman. You know what I want." He walked towards the door. "Kei, please, I love you." Kei froze but didn't look at him. "And I love you. More than life," he said in a low voice. "Please, do this for me." "Shall I come back with you now?" Kei turned. "Will you be fair to him? Speak to him as an adult?" "If that's what you want, of course."

Kei shook his head. "No, Arman. You have to do it because it's the right thing to do. Because he deserves it. I'll...I'll see you the day after tomorrow." "Kei...." But Kei had already slipped out of the room. Arman was naked, he couldn't run after him, and he knew that Kei would just turn him down anyway. He went back into the bedroom and found his robe, pulled it on, then slumped into a chair. What in hells had gone wrong? After three months apart, he was spending yet another night away from the man he loved, the man who had been so incredibly miserable without him, and all over that damn brat? He put his head in his hands. Very little got Kei angry, but injustice and unfairness was one sure way to achieve it. So, Kei thought he'd been unjust and unfair, just because he'd pointed out that Karik had been the cause of real harm – but damn it, that much was true! Not deliberately, but.... And why was Kei dismissing Arman's family that way? Did he think that only his family mattered? He should go back to their house – but if he did, and there was an argument, it would drag the boy and Pira into it, and that would make Kei even angrier. This was not how he had imagined his first evening home.

Karik jumped when he heard the front door open and then shut again, then he looked at Pira, who frowned. "I thought they said they were staying at the Rulers' House." They waited, but no one came into the kitchen. "Let me g-go look," Karik said. It really wasn't like Kei not to come straight to the kitchen, and if Arman was with him, that made it even more odd. He picked up a lamp and lit it from a candle, then went out into the hall. There was no one in the sitting room, or Kei's bedroom. But the door to his workroom was ajar, so Karik pushed it open. "Hello?" He lifted the lamp, and saw Kei was sitting on his own in the dark. "Uncle Kei?" Kei's head was down and he was hugging himself. As Karik came closer, he was horrified to realise that Kei was crying very quietly and trying to hide it. "Uncle

Kei? What's w-wrong? Did something h-happen to Arman?" Kei shook his head. Karik put the lamp down on the workbench. What should he do? He'd never seen Kei like this. "Should I f-fetch Pira?" "No. I, uh...." Kei covered his face with his hands and his shoulders shook. Karik put his hand on Kei's arm. "Uncle Kei, please – what's w-wrong?" "I'm sorry," Kei whispered, burying his face in Karik's shoulder. "I...I, uh...." Karik put his arms around Kei and held him, just as he would have done for Gyo or Keiji. What could have happened? And where was Arman? He knew Arman was definitely back safe, Neka had told him that when she'd passed on Kei's message. Had he and Kei argued? And over what? "Did you h-have a fight with Ah-Arman?" "Oh, Karik, I was so stupid...I got all worked up and then I said things...and I know he's not a mean person...." "Can't you g-go back and t-talk to him?" Kei sat up and blew his nose, even as more tears leaked down his face. "I want to...but I want him to think too. I'm sick of this, sick of people hating each other for no reason, sick of prejudice...." Karik's eyes widened as he worked it out. "You ah-argued o-over m-me? Wuhwhy?" "I never said we argued over you," Kei said, but his eyes gave him away – Kei couldn't lie for beans. "It's nothing to do with you. It's Arman and...well, bad habits he's got into. He's not a bad person, Karik." "No, I kn-know." "I missed him so much and I want to be with him...I don't know why I got so angry...I'm sorry," he said, hiding his face again. All Karik could do was hold his uncle. He didn't really understand what was going on – he didn't know why Kei would walk away from the man he had missed so much that it had almost made him ill, just over him. Arman didn't like him, so what? He wasn't the first person who didn't, and just because he was supposedly his father.... Karik didn't even care about that any more. He had two wonderful parents, and he was very lucky – look at Seiki. Arman...Arman was

just someone he had to put up with because he was Kei's lover. "Sh-should I speak to him?" Kei sniffled, and rubbed his nose. Karik almost smiled – Kei looked just like his ten-year-old nephew when he did that. "I told him to...to come and speak to you tomorrow, while I'm away. I ordered him to, actually, but that was wrong of me. I mean, if he doesn't want to talk to you, then maybe I shouldn't...oh, I don't know what I should do. All I know is that two people I love are at odds and I hate that. I thought he.... Maybe I should cancel the visit, or take you with me – maybe you and he shouldn't talk on your own." "It's all r-right. I-If he's angry, h-he'll go to the House. W-we can wait f-for you." Kei smiled, a rather damp smile it had to be said, but a smile nonetheless. "You're a good, sensible young man, Karik. You've got more sense than Arman or me put together, to be honest." He drew in a deep breath. "I guess I got so worked up about seeing him again, my emotions were all in a tangle and he hit a nerve." "Go and s-see him again?" "I...I think I shouldn't. I don't want to yell at him again." He gnawed his bottom lip. "If I write a note, would you be willing to take it to the House in the morning before you go to the academy? I have to be up at dawn to be on the ship." "Of course." Karik didn't like the idea of Kei spending yet another night without Arman, but it was true that Kei seemed so unsettled that perhaps he was risking another fight with his lover and that would be no good for either of them. "Thank you. I'm sorry, Karik, falling apart on you like this. Um...can you do me another favour and...well, tell Pira I'm not really up to chatting to her right now? I think I'll just write this note and go to bed. I've been so tense and now I'm just exhausted." He patted Karik's cheek. "If Arman...well, if he loses his temper, or you do, just walk away. Go to your room, or even go and visit Vikis and Kesa. They won't mind, and I can explain everything when I get back. But if you can make Arman see you as you are, and not as what you represent to him, then it will be a great thing. A wonderful thing." "Wuh-what I represent?" "You remember we talked about why Jos hates you? How you represent things he can't have, can't be?" Karik nodded – it had made sense, he thought. "For Arman, I think you represent personal failure. There's other things there too

which I don't understand, but that much, I know is true. Somehow he needs to see you as you are. A good person with a lot of talent and a kind heart. Someone like him, in fact." He gave Karik a hug. "Thank you." Karik wasn't sure he'd done the least thing to be thanked for, considering how unhappy Kei was, all because of him. "I'll speak to P-Pira." "Thanks. Just let me...." He lit a taper from the lamp and set another going in the room. "There. Now, don't worry about me. I just need to contemplate my sins for a bit." Karik didn't like the sound of that, but Kei obviously wanted to be alone and Karik understood that impulse well enough. "Good night." "Good night. I probably won't see you in the morning but I'll be back early the next day and I'll find you at the academy." Karik nodded and picked up the lamp. Back in the kitchen, Pira immediately wanted to know what on earth was going on. "Um, Kei's tired. He's going to g-go to bed early." "And where's Arman?" "Ah-At the House." She gave him a fierce look, which he knew was directed at someone other than him but he made a convenient target. "They h-had a disagreement." "A disa.... Those two? They never fight. I never hear the least cross word between them. Did something happen while he was away? Maybe I should go speak to the lad...." She rose to do just that, but Karik laid a hand on her arm. "He s-said not to. He just w-wants to be alone." "It's not right, Karik. After all this time away, Arman can't spend the night with him now? I shall give him a piece of my mind when I see him." Belatedly, Karik saw the flaw in Kei's plan of Arman and him supposedly ironing out their differences the following night – if Pira leapt on Arman as soon as he got home, it would only make the man angry and much less likely to conduct himself calmly when he and Karik spoke. But then he realised he had a perfect alternative – if he made sure he delivered the note in person, then he could arrange another venue, perhaps the rooms in the House where Arman was

sleeping tonight. There must be places they could have their privacy, and if he could resolve this with Arman, even if he didn't really know what the older man had against him, then that would be the best gift he could give to Kei. He wanted to do something for him – Kei had been responsible for so many good things, and he hated to see him in pain like this. He let Pira rant a little longer, just nodding – he thought it was interesting that she assumed Arman must be at fault, when Kei had said it was actually he who had started the argument. He almost felt sorry for Arman, condemned without a hearing, but he wasn't going to defend the man to Pira, not until he knew more of what was going on. She finally ran out of steam, and they ate their supper in peace. Karik wondered if Kei wanted anything to eat, but suspected he was too upset to be hungry. If he felt he wanted something, there was always something in the kitchen he could help himself to. It wasn't food that would ease Kei's mind right now. Karik had half an inclination to walk over to the Rulers' House right now and tell Arman to get his backside home, but that wasn't really a sensible idea. Getting between an arguing couple was nearly as foolish as coming between a mother carcho and her cubs. Still grumbling a little, Pira left him to wash up their dishes and said good night. Karik hoped she would respect Kei's wishes – he left the door open and couldn't hear her attempting to speak to Kei. As he washed their dirty plates, he wondered if Kei's soul-touching gift had played any part in the argument. If Kei was already unsettled, and he sensed anger in Arman – or felt it himself – might that have made him more emotional than he would have been otherwise? His Pa had mentioned that Kei had had trouble controlling his gift at one point, and his Ma had often said how she was glad she wasn't a soul-toucher, and that she could prevent people passing anything unpleasant along to her simply by taking her hand off them. Kei didn't have that option. He tidied the kitchen, a chore he had willingly taken on as part of his portion for staying in the house, and then thought he would have an early night too. Tomorrow he would try to speak to his father and find a way of getting along together that didn't hurt the man they both loved, in different ways. If he could find a cure for his damn stutter, surely that had to be possible too.

It had taken Arman very little time to realise that Kei's unusual temper was at least partly because he had been wound so tight for so long, and the threat to someone dear to him had affected him as deeply as it had Jena. It was no surprise therefore that he was more than usually sensitive to perceived harm from another quarter. Not that Arman absolved himself from blame – the more he thought about it, the more he accepted Kei was absolutely right. This situation with Karik needed a resolution, and really, this time nothing but total honesty would do. He would let Kei have the time he wanted to calm down before he had to make his monthly inspection to the prison island – a task which in itself usually disturbed Kei, even without all this other business. But that didn't mean Arman would be content to let Kei leave without trying to end any ill-feeling. He knew his lover, he knew Kei would be suffering, whatever the rights and wrongs of their argument, and that was intolerable. He dressed again and went downstairs to make the necessary enquiries and arrangements. He ordered a simple meal, and spent the rest of his evening making the reports that would be needed for the other Rulers. He wanted to clear his desk so that he could spend the following evening at their home without any distraction – if he was to do this thing with Karik, he wanted to do it well, and that required planning. In the morning, he would ask Vikis if he could put Pira up for the evening – and that way, no one would need to witness any loud or unpleasant discussions. Not that he wanted any such thing – but he had already found to his cost that this was one issue that provoked the stormiest emotions. He resigned himself to sleeping badly that night, and so he did. He was awake when the knock came at his door, and he was dressed and walking down the stairs of the House mere minutes later. It was still quite dark, but he couldn't risk that Kei would set off before he got there. By lamplight, and then the dim predawn, the carriage moved quickly along the quiet streets. He instructed the driver to call a halt at their destination, and then he stood by the carriage, waiting. He had judged it very finely, for it was only five minutes or so before Kei came out of the front door, pack over his shoulder. He closed the door quietly, turned, and started as he saw Arman. He walked quickly down the path, and came into Arman's embrace without the least hesitation. "I'm so very sorry," Kei whispered. "You have no reason to be," Arman said, kissing his forehead. "You were right, and I know it. Now, did you eat? Breakfast or supper?" "No, I didn't...."

"Well, we've got time in hand since I'm giving you a lift to the docks, and I brought you a few cakes and a flask of water, so get in and you can at least eat." "Why are you doing this, Arman? I was so horrible to you last night." Arman kept his arm around Kei as he urged him to get into the carriage. "You had cause, and I didn't want you to travel today with this on your soul. I know the prison always upsets you. I wanted you to know you don't have to worry about this. I promise you I will talk to Karik and try to be as honest as I can with him." They got settled and Arman told the driver to move on. Walking to the docks would have taken Kei nearly an hour – he simply refused to order a carriage on his own behalf – but the jesigs would have them there in minutes. He regretted that Kei had not had more time to sleep. From the look of him, he'd had very little if any of that, on top of no supper or breakfast. The man would have passed out, Arman thought in exasperation. Kei leaned against him, holding his hand, offering silent apology and silent forgiveness at the same time. "Could someone else not have done it this time?" Arman asked. The prison visits were a duty Kei had taken on five years ago when he had become Master of Healers. Arman thought it was a ridiculous waste of his time, but Kei insisted that the state had a duty to make sure that the inmates – those who were too dangerous, recalcitrant, or simply insane to work on the prison farm or suffer other punishments within the society itself – were treated humanely and kept in good health. It was a worthy ambition, but it was an unpleasant task for a soul-toucher, to have the crazed emotions of the insane and criminal minds inflicted on him. "I'm arranging for a team to handle it, but there are new sanitation arrangements being made and I want to be sure they're working as we want them. There are two prisoners we are thinking of releasing – I need to examine them to see if they are really reformed. I fear they are not, but they must be given a chance. It's only fair." Arman kissed him again. His Kei, so determined to be fair and just, even when it hurt him. "I truly love you. I wish I deserved you, but I love you anyway." "I'm sorry for how I spoke to you." "Enough. I know you were under stress, and my words were out of turn, as were the thoughts behind them." He felt it was important for him to show that he understood Kei's anger, not just forgave it.

They had come to the docks, and the lieutenant in charge of the soldiers going with Kei saluted smartly as he recognised Arman, for all he was not wearing his official robes. Arman took shameless advantage of his position to send a soldier for mugs of tea for them both, and insisted Kei ate and drank before he got on the boat. They had at least an hour before he needed to board. They sat peacefully in the carriage, holding hands and speaking quietly about Arman's mission, and what Kei was going to be doing at the prison. It did Arman more good than a night's rest would ever have done. "Will you nap before you arrive?" "I'll try. I probably will sleep now. I'm so glad you came, Arman. I was so angry at myself for what I said to you. I shouldn't have denigrated your father like that – what he did was generous, and he sent you home to me." "It's all right – you're quite correct, the nobles don't work as hard as some, though my father has always tried to serve his country as I serve mine. He's never been paid for that, as I am not." "Which is wrong, really. I should speak to Meki about an allowance...." "No, you won't," Arman said firmly. "I'm happy as we are." "Yes. I'm sorry." Arman just held him a little closer. He had a good mind to pull rank and cancel this visit over Kei's head, but Kei would find that an incredible liberty. He just wished the man didn't seem so tired and sad. "I'm going to take a few days off when you get back. Do you think you can clear your schedule at all?" Kei put his hand on Arman's forehead. "Hmmm, no fever, your pulse is normal – you don't sound sick, so it must be my hearing. I could have sworn you just said you were going to take some time off." "Idiot. Have you forgotten that was part of the deal if I agreed to be a Ruler?" "Well, yes, and then you promptly disappeared for three months." "Yes, so they owe me some uninterrupted time with my lover, don't they. Can you clear things?" "I'm going to damn well try." He smiled for the first time that morning. "Do you think the foundations of the House are up to it?" "You don't want to shock Karik?"

"Him? You remember who his parents are, don't you? Pira might be alarmed, though." "Very true. I'm sure the House can cope." Kei smiled again, and then kissed him. "I need to get on board." Arman hugged him tightly, making Kei protest but not with any seriousness. "Now get some sleep, and come back safely. You're back in the morning?" "Yes, with the tide." "Then I'll pick you up and we'll go home. I'll tell the academy you're working at home – you're not teaching?" "Sounds like I'd better not be." "Quite." He got another kiss, and Kei jumped down, a spring to his step which had been missing when Arman had first seen him this morning. "I'll be home tomorrow. Play nicely with Karik now." "Yes, Ma." Kei stuck his tongue out, waved and walked over to the ship. Arman watched him board, but thought it was silly to wait until the ship set sail. "Back to the House, my lord?" "Hmmm? No, let's go back past the new harbour development – I want to see how they've got on." He gave the ship one last look, and then signalled for the driver to start the carriage off. It had been some trouble to meet Kei this morning – but he had never expended so small an effort with so much benefit, and his heart was pounds lighter. It gave him confidence that dealing with Karik should not be beyond him either.

Chapter 9 Karik heard the quiet opening and closing of the front door as Kei left, but it was really too early to get up. He'd slept uneasily, worried about Kei and the situation with Arman, but in the cool pre-dawn, his anxieties seemed a little foolish. All he and Arman had to do was agree to be civil. Karik just had to put aside his own grievances – they were to do with events too many years ago to be picked over now. He would rather have Arman as a friend than an enemy, but he would settle for agreeable acquaintance, if he had to. Perhaps if he returned to Darshek next year, and Arman got to know him better, saw him acting and being treated as an adult, he might learn to dislike him less. Arman had to be smarter than Jos, surely. He rolled over and succeeded in getting a little more sleep – when he woke, the sun was bright through the windows, and if anything, he was now running late. Pira was in the kitchen, of course. "Good morning, sleepy head. There's a note for you on the table from Kei." He nodded, and accepted the hot cakes and butter from her with a yawn. "Perhaps you should take a day's rest, young man. You can overdo this book-learning, you know." "But there's s-so much to learn about." That was the thing people never understood – to him, it wasn't tiring to read the books, or attend the lectures. The things that tired him were boredom and ignorance and having to pretend he wasn't as bright or interested in things as he was. Being in Darshek was like being infused with raw energy. But Pira equated books with being stuck learning her letters when she would have rather been out earning an income. There was a massive gulf between their attitudes, and he didn't even try to bridge it. Long experience told him he would never succeed. He raced through his breakfast, splashed water on his face, washed his hands and ran out the door. Most of the students would already be at the academy – at least he wasn't expected at a class until the afternoon. He and Seiki were going to look up the uses of some plants Kei had drawn their attention to in the garden, and this afternoon he had an art class. How exciting that would be, he thought, resigned to the fact it would be anything but – he liked to draw, but Rorik just sucked every drop of fun out of the activity. Oh well, not everything had to be wonderful to be useful. He wasn't that late by the time he got to the House of the Rulers, so he was rather surprised to be told by the clerk at the reception that Lord Arman had already left and no one knew when he would be back, although he was to meet the other Rulers that afternoon. By then Karik was supposed to be in his class with Rorik.

He bit his lip, wondering what he should do. Perhaps he could come back at lunch and see if the man had returned then. If not, he would leave Kei's note and then pray that Pira held her tongue – a forlorn hope, since she felt it was her duty to correct her two charges as if she really was their mother. He almost felt sorry for the tongue lashing Arman would get if he didn't manage to head him off. He left the building and started to walk across the square between the House and the academy. A jerky movement caught his eye – there was that strange man again. This time he wasn't clenching his fists, not that Karik could see, for one hand was inside the coat that was really too heavy for the warm weather, and the other was in his pocket – but the angry expression was the same, and the muttering. He was staring at the House again. Karik turned to see by what he could possibly be so fascinated – and noticed a carriage drawing up to the front of the House, bearing a passenger with a distinctive long blond braid. It seemed luck was with him after all – or perhaps not. Other people had noticed Arman's arrival, and a small group of well-wishers had gathered around the Ruler. Karik came a little closer, not wanting to have Arman disappear inside the House, but also not wanting to intrude on the people who seemed so pleased to see Arman back safe from Andon. He could tell Arman really wanted to get away, though he was being polite without encouraging people to linger. Then Arman lifted his head and spotted Karik. For a moment, his expression grew stern, but then he raised a hand and waved, signalling for Karik to wait. Unfortunately, more people seemed to discover Arman's presence and the number of bodies between Karik and him seemed to be growing like thurls on a corpse. Karik fumed silently. This was beginning to seem like a bad idea. He could come back at lunch – Arman wouldn't be going out again if he had a meeting in the afternoon. He couldn't even signal to Arman he was going, but he thought Arman would work it out. He turned – and then saw the stranger from the square was pushing his way through the crowd. Now that seemed very odd, somehow. He wanted to see what the man was up to, so he used his slight form to advantage, slipping between people to get closer to Arman. Arman saw him and frowned. "Karik? Just give me a minute or two, please." "Yes, b-but...." He could see the man now – his expression was truly alarming. Karik drew breath to tell Arman to watch out, but then to his horror, he realised what the man had been concealing in his coat. "Knife! Arman!"

He didn't even think, he just flung himself in front of Arman, and grunted as something hit him hard in the gut, knocking the air out of him. "Pissing Prij!" The stranger lifted his hand, the one holding the knife, and Karik dazedly tried to ward off the blow. The knife sliced down his arm, but it didn't hurt as much as it should, perhaps because he was suddenly having trouble breathing. Around him, people were beginning to shout, and he saw someone had their arms around the man, who was still madly striking out. He managed to slash several other people, or so it seemed from all the blood. Karik was feeling very odd. He looked down – oh. "Another...knife," he whispered, sinking to his knees. "Karik! Gods, someone get a healer!" He looked up. Arman was kneeling beside him. There was something he had to tell Arman.... "Kei...." "Just stay still, Karik. Will someone get a pissing healer now! The boy's hurt!" Arman caught him as he slipped sideways.

Arman stripped off his shirt and packed it tightly around the knife buried in Karik's stomach, his mind going automatically into battle mode. "Someone give me a shirt, a cloth, something!" He clamped a hand around the long, deep cut, trying desperately to stop Karik losing any more blood – they seemed awash in it. He was aware that behind him the man who'd attacked had been wrestled to the ground, and that soldiers were running towards them, but that wasn't his concern. Karik's good hand gripped his shirt weakly. "Ah-Arman...." "Shhh, don't try to speak, son." Shock and pain were stark in the boy's large green eyes and Arman had the most unpleasant jolt of déjà vu as he looked at Karik's pale and sweaty face. He shook himself – now was not the time to be lost in his memories. "A cloth, a scarf, for mercy's sake!" A woman thrust a scarf at him and he tied it quickly around the fast bleeding arm, though that wasn't the main problem. The stomach wound was serious – he had to get Karik to a healer and fast. He put his arms under Karik's knees and

back and lifted him, grateful that the lad was still small for his age. "Get out of my way!" he bellowed, holding Karik carefully. Miraculously, the crowd parted for him, letting him through and then he began to run with Karik in his arms, ignoring the pandemonium around him, ignoring the soldiers who wanted to help – he couldn't waste that kind of time. The academy was just a few hundred yards away. He ran for it as if Karik's life depended on it, which it certainly did. He bellowed again for a healer when he got to the academy, and people came from all directions to help. "Lord Arman, let me see him." Pitis, thank the gods. He laid Karik down, and Pitis knelt, quickly examined Karik's injuries, then shouted for his medical box and clean bandages. Now Arman could see Karik had been stabbed not once, but twice – and the second wound looked horribly close to his lung. The boy was ashen and barely conscious, breathing harshly in a painful-looking manner. "Just hold on, Karik. They'll help you." Karik tried to speak, but he coughed instead, bringing up blood. Arman stared at it in horror. Gods – just like Loke. Pitis pushed him back firmly. "Pardon me, my lord, I need to work." Arman let himself be moved – he knew the worst thing he could do was to hinder the healer at this point – but he remained close. He needed to know Karik was going to be all right. Pitis called for a litter, once a kit and bandages had been brought and he had made a temporary dressing on the gut wounds and the arm. "Let me," Arman said urgently. "Where do you need him to be?" "I need to deal with those wounds – bring him to the medical wing. Gently!" The knife was still in Karik's stomach – Kei had once impressed upon Arman the importance in such situations, theoretical though he had then thought them to be, of leaving the object in place, lest it cause unstoppable bleeding. But because it was still there, he risked doing more damage if he was not very careful. He lifted Karik as tenderly as a newborn, although it still made the lad whimper in pain, and then followed Pitis' rapid steps towards the medical wing where healers and medics were trained. There was a large and well-supplied treatment room there. He just hoped Pitis had enough of Kei's skill to save Karik's life.

There were other healers now, coming to assist the master. Arman laid Karik on a large, clean table, and then stepped back as Karik's shirt was cut away and his trousers removed. One of the healers asked him politely to leave and the doors were firmly shut behind him. Only now could he stop and assess what in hells had just happened – who was that man, and who had been the target? Him? Karik? Or would anyone have done? He was covered in blood, to the alarm of the clerks now approaching him to see to his needs. He allowed them to wipe him down a little with a wet cloth, and a towel was brought to cover his bare chest and filthy trousers while a change of clothes was fetched from his quarters in the House, but he refused to leave to clean up properly until he had news of Karik's condition. The state of his clothes was unimportant. His mind was on the boy on the other side of the closed treatment room doors. If Karik died...the way Loke had died.... It had happened so astonishingly fast, and even he, who was once used to sneak attacks and the speed of battle, had moved so agonisingly slow. It had been Karik who had spotted the danger and dived in front of the man with the knife – what had possessed the child to take such an appalling risk, and that for a man who had been so harsh to him of late? Someone came up to speak to him – Eruk, the senior administrator of the academy. "Is there something we can do to assist you, my lord?" "Yes there is. Have someone find Lord Peika, tell him what's happened, and that I will be tied up here – do not approach Lord Meki. Lord Peika will let him know. And find out who that pissing man was, and what he was doing here." "Yes, my lord. If there is anything else, someone will be close by to attend you." Eruk bowed and left to do his bidding. A chair was brought for Arman, since it was clear he wasn't going to move from the corridor outside the treatment room, and he sat wrapped in the towel, praying that the boy would survive. A gut wound didn't have to be fatal, Kei had proved that to him...but Kei was not here, and Arman had no idea if anyone with sufficient skill was even in the building. Karik had been coughing up blood. Arman knew that couldn't be a good sign. A soldier was hovering, so Arman beckoned him over. The man saluted. "My lord, we have the man in custody. He's refusing to tell us who he is, but it seems you were the target of his intentions." "Find out who he is and what he has against me. And don't let him loose."

"No, my lord. We'll hold him until he can be formally charged. He's rather incoherent at the moment and still violent. He's being restrained for his own protection as much as anything else." Arman didn't care about the man's welfare, but he did want to know why this had happened. He asked to be kept informed, dismissed the soldier and continued to keep vigil. It was obvious people didn't know how to react to the situation at all, and he got the impression of carefully restrained hysteria, of people not wanting to invade his privacy but being protective of him at the same time. Violent attacks in this part of the city were almost unheard of – they were rare by Utuk standards anyway, and an attack against a Ruler inconceivable outside of war. There would be consequences of this act, undoubtedly, but he would deal with them later. A young female voice broke into his dark thoughts. "Arman? I heard someone was hurt – are you hurt?" He looked around and saw her. Seiki – ah, yes, Kei had said she was working with Karik. He covered up the worst of the blood stains, but she still gulped at the sight of what he couldn't help but leave on show. "Seiki, my dear, you should go home. This is not a good place to be right now." "But who's hurt...Karik! Oh, gods!" She gripped her arms as if she was cold. "What happened? Is he dying?" "I don't know. Seiki, please, just go back to the House...." Why was she here without someone to look after her? She shook her head. "No, I'm going to wait. Karik's my friend. Are you hurt? There's so much blood...his blood? What happened?" He wished his hands were cleaner so he could use them to soothe the slight hysteria he heard in her tone – all he could use was his voice. "Someone – a lunatic by the look of it – attacked me outside the House. Karik stepped in his way, to protect me, I think." He kept his tone as matter-of-fact and calm as he could. "I don't know what his condition is – his injuries are not slight. More than that, I'm waiting to hear. Seiki, you could go back to the House and know just as much without being in the way...." "I'm not in the way any more than you are," she said, setting her mouth stubbornly. "Oh, gods, he can't die.... He can't, Arman."

"Then let's hope he doesn't, but getting upset won't help him, Seiki. If you're going to stay, you need to stay calm. I'll have you removed if you can't – he doesn't need anyone being hysterical. Can you do that?" She nodded, though she looked quite pale. Arman motioned to one of the clerks still hovering about, and asked him to bring a chair for the girl, since it was clear he had no hope of making her see sense and leave. "Bring her a mug of tea as well," he added. He guessed Lord Peika was handling matters outside since no one came to bother him from the Rulers' House, and was grateful for the man's competence. He could hear a good deal of activity going on past the corridor, and outside the building, distant shouts. He could imagine the chaos such an unprecedented thing was creating. But in here, all was still and quiet. There wasn't a sound from beyond the heavy doors and if Seiki knew what was happening, she wasn't saying as she sipped the tea and bit her lip anxiously. They waited in silence for at least an hour or so it seemed. Though he'd been waiting for it, Arman still started when the doors opened and Master Pitis came out, wiping his hands on a towel. He was wearing an apron spattered with blood – at Seiki's horrified gasp, he hastily removed it. "How is he?" Arman demanded. Pitis frowned. "His condition is grave, I fear." Seiki made another little sound of shock. "I'm sorry to upset you, my child, but there is a lot of damage for such a small knife to have made. He has a punctured lung, that's the worst of it but not all, and has lost a lot of blood. We've done what we can, the rest is up to him. He's young and in good condition, these are all things in his favour." "Where will you keep him? Can I see him?" "Here and soon, my lord. But not," he added, his nose wrinkling in distaste, "in that state. The last thing he needs is more contamination." "Would Kei – with his gift – make a difference?" Pitis stiffened a little. "We have two mind-movers here who are healers, my lord. He's received the best possible attention, no disrespect intended to Master Kei. Please, my lord, if you wish to see him, you must wash and change your clothes." "May I see him too?" Seiki asked. "Please?"

He hesitated and looked at Arman before he answered. "For a short time, child, but he's not conscious." "Pitis, let her see him while I change and find Lord Peika. His parents will need to be told, but I would rather wait until we know more. When will we know?" "The next few hours, the next few days – I cannot say, my lord. Every minute he survives is another minute his body spends healing itself. But I would be lying if I said he was not in danger." Gods. "Thank you for your honesty. Seiki, do what Master Pitis tells you, and when you are asked to leave, do so. I'll be back shortly. Please ask Neka to come here when she can manage." "Yes, Arman. Thank you." Pitis took her in charge. Arman forced himself to concentrate on the things that needed to be done. A clerk approached him. "My clothes?" "This way, my lord – and Lord Peika asked to be told when you were at liberty to speak to him." "Is he here or in the House?' "With the soldiers holding the prisoner, my lord. But he said he would come to you." "Then if you could tell him I'm free." He was shown to a small washroom and he stripped down to his loincloth – Pira would be horrified at the state of his clothing, not that it would be the most distressing thing about this by a long way. He rubbed his eyes – what should he tell Jena? And when? He really needed Kei's advice now. His hands were shaking – staring at them, he suddenly felt a rush of nausea, of distress. He never thought to have to deal with anything like this again – never thought to hold a dying boy in his arms. He slammed his fist into the wall. Karik would not die. He would not allow it. He left his trousers in the washroom, but made sure his appearance was orderly and clean. He had a position to uphold, and people looked to him to lead. He had to appear calm, even if he wasn't.

Lord Peika had looking calm down to a fine art, of course, and the man's kind and serene expression was a welcome relief from all the stress. "Arman, I'm so sorry. I've told Meki and the others." "Thank you – Peika, I have to look after this, however long it takes." "Of course. Don't worry about anything, and whatever you or the boy need, just say. How is he?" "Gravely ill, I'm afraid. I haven't yet seen him. I'm going to be here for a while." "Then I'll send people from the house over to attend you, so we don't disrupt the academy more than we have done." "And the man? Who is that bastard?" "He's refusing to say, but to be honest, he seems to be rather crazed. If we can get him to calm down, I'll ask one of our mind-speakers to examine him." "Ask Master Bikel. He'll suffer no nonsense." "Good idea. Where is Kei? With the boy?" Arman shook his head. "No – of all the rotten luck, he's at the prison island. He won't return until the tide tomorrow morning." "We could...." "No, it can wait. Pitis assures me that every care has been taken, and right now I'm more concerned about telling Karik's parents. You're a father, Peika – should I tell them now, or wait?" The man's genial features twisted with sympathy. "I think they need to know, though it will be hard on them. Neka is a personal friend of theirs, I believe?" "Yes, very close. Gods, Peika – how can this happen here?" "Indeed, that's what I want to know. Why were you on your own without an escort?" Arman frowned at him. "I had an early errand to run for Kei – damn it, we don't use the soldiers for protection, they're just to manage the crowds!"

"Yes, I know, I'm not blaming you – but if you'd had an escort, the man would not have got so close." "We are not, or have not been, in the habit of keeping people away, have we?" Arman clenched his fist. "Do we have to live like the Prijian sovereign now? Because of this?" "Peace, Arman. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. I want to know what this man's grievance is – but we can't rule out the possibility you were targeted because of your background." "You mean as a murdering bastard." Anxiety made him tarter than he meant to be. "As a Prij," Peika said, not at all disturbed by his rudeness. "This doesn't get us anywhere. For now, do what you need and leave the business of the Rulers aside. You were due some time for personal matters anyway." Arman rubbed his forehead distractedly. "I left the reports on the Andon mission on my desk...." "We'll find them and Jiv can tell us the rest. You have an illness in your family, we understand. Just like when my son caught bej fever, you remember? When I was gone for a month?" "Karik's not my son," he said through gritted teeth. He didn't want sympathy on a false premise. "No, but the boy is your family nonetheless. Now go to him and keep us apprised of the situation." He clapped a hand on Arman's shoulder. "Tell him, when he's up to it, that he had the best wishes of the Rulers." Arman bowed. "I'm sure when he's up to it, he'll appreciate it." Lord Peika smiled and left him to it. Arman went back to the medical wing and asked to be taken to Karik. He was told that he was in the infirmary so he went there quickly. Pitis and another healer were talking quietly while Seiki sat at Karik's bedside – the lad still seemed to be unconscious. The infirmary was large, but apart from Karik, there were only two other patients at the end of the room. "Pitis, I want to be able to stay with him – can that be arranged?"

"It's irregular, my lord...." Arman gave him a fierce look. "....But in the circumstances, we can arrange it. If we suddenly need the bed, then we will probably move Karik too because he needs to be given close attention. For now, he's safe enough here." Arman nodded and pulled up a stool next to Seiki, who was crying silently. "He looks so pale," she whispered. "Is he going to die?" "He's lost a lot of blood, Seiki. Now don't cry, child, that won't help." He put his arm around her and she turned her face to his chest and sobbed. He stroked her hair, while looking at Karik. He was propped up on a mound of pillows, and his breathing seemed rather laboured. A punctured lung – a dangerous thing, he knew. Even in unconsciousness his young face showed signs of his suffering in the lines around his mouth – was he drugged or had he passed out from the blood loss? "Hush, Seiki. He's in good hands, my dear." "B-but if he dies...I'll be all alone...I never had a friend like him...please don't let him die...." He hugged her tighter and wished he was better at comforting people. He could see Pitis hovering – he clearly wanted Seiki to leave, but Arman couldn't, in pure humanity, make her go. He tilted his head and signalled that he would take care of her. Pitis bowed and withdrew. The other man remained, talking to one of the patients at the other end of the room – he was clearly the healer on duty this morning. Arman had no doubt the man was competent, but he desperately wished Kei were here – there was something so reassuring about his manner. He let Seiki sob for a while, but then he shook her gently. "Come, child, this won't help you. Where's your handkerchief?" With a trembling hand she fetched it from her pocket and he wiped her face. "I'm sorry, Arman." "No need to be sorry, my dear. But our job is to be strong and calm for him, and his is to heal. He would be distressed to see you this way. If you want to help him, you need to show a bright face to him." She blew her nose. "You sound like you've done this before." He winced. "Yes. Yes, I have." "Someone close? A friend."

"Yes. Someone very dear indeed to me." He squeezed her shoulder. "Did you call Neka?" "She's coming. I wish Kei were here." "So do I, but there's no help for that." She wiped her eyes again and sniffled. "Did your friend get better? The one who was hurt." "No, I'm afraid he didn't." She stared in alarm. "It was a long time ago, and we didn't have a Darshianese-trained healer to help. But I was injured not long after, just as severely, and I'm alive – so it's not hopeless, Seiki." She looked down so he could only see her lashes. "I'm sorry about your friend." "So am I. But let's not talk of that. What are you doing with Karik? What were you doing this morning?" "W-we were g-going to...work in the library and then h-he h-had an art class." She cleared her throat. "Sorry, my s-stammer comes back when I'm uh-upset." "It's nothing to be ashamed of, you know. Kei is very pleased you've been helping Karik." She nodded, and then burst into tears again. "I can't bear the thought of him ddying. He's been so kind to me. I've l-learned so much from him." "He's very lucky to have such a good friend." "I'm the l-lucky one. I was so lonely until I met him. Now I feel like I'm home again, knowing there's s-someone I can talk to, who understands me, and who sees me for who I am." Again that sense of déjà vu almost blinded him, and of course she caught it from his thoughts. "Who was he? The one who died?" "Someone...who made me feel as Karik does you." "Did you love him? Like you d-do Kei?" "I loved him, yes, but not like Kei. He was only Karik's age when he died. He was more like...a brother, or a son. "

"He's like my brother too." She reached out and took hold of Karik's still hand. "H-How...how did you stand it?" I didn't, Arman thought. "Enough of this, Seiki – remember what I said about what our job is? Cry afterwards, if you have to, but we're a long way from that." She nodded, tears still trickling down her face, but then she lifted her head. "Oh – Neka's here." Sure enough, a few moments later, the mind-speaker came in. Arman ushered them all outside, not wanting to impose on the infirmary or contaminate it more than they needed to. Neka embraced them both. "I'm sorry to hear about this. Poor Karik – how could this happen?" "We only know that Karik prevented an attempt to harm me, and suffered for it. Neka – we need to tell Jena. How and when, I am going to ask you to judge. Karik's condition is very serious, and could worsen at any time. I don't want to give them false hope, nor do I wish to worry them more than they need to." "Let me talk to her. She'll want to speak to you, I'm sure." "Yes, I know, but let's give it a little while. I'll be staying in the infirmary for the time being. Seiki, you should go...." "No, I'm staying." Neka touched her face. "Seiki, darling, they can't have hordes of people sleeping in the infirmary." "But I'm his friend and Arman doesn't even like Karik. I should stay!" Neka looked at Arman. Um, she has a point.... He glared back at her in exasperation. Do you really think I wish Karik harm? Damn it, Neka, he's Jena's son! And Seiki's never looked after someone this ill – I have. The child is too distressed, you should take her back to the house. No, I'm not going to. I'll insist she doesn't stay overnight, and make sure she doesn’t get in the way, but she has a right to stay with him. Do this for Karik, Arman. Seiki is important to him, and if you care at all for him, then make sure his friend is cared for too.

He blinked at her stern tone. If you really think it's best. I think Kei will have something to say about it, though. Then he can say it. Are you up to this? You look dreadful. I've had better mornings, but I've had worse too, he added grimly, thinking of that day sixteen years ago. I barely know Seiki, how can I look after her? Neka pinned him with a look. Learn. This is important, Arman – for her, for him and for you. What...? But she wasn't going to debate the issue, it seemed. "I'm going to speak to Jena now. Seiki, stay with Arman, do what he says, and I'll come for you this evening. You're going to sleep at the House, no arguments. The healers here won't want you in the way overnight and Kei would say the same thing. But while you're here, you help Arman and Karik as best you can – you need to be brave, dear." She nodded. "I'll use you to keep us informed of what's going on and to pass messages back and forth. Can you do that?" "Yes, I will." "Thank you. The Rulers need my help, so you'll be my right hand here." She drew her close and kissed her forehead. "Arman, if Jena wants to speak to you...?" "Then give me a little warning and I'll make sure I'm free. Speak to Master Pitis first." "She'll want to speak to him too. Let me handle that." She reached up and kissed his cheek. "Look after him, he's a beautiful child." She walked away, presumably to search for Pitis. Karik had certainly made some firm friends in his brief time in Darshek, Arman thought with some surprise. Neka had never been so forthright with him before. He sighed and turned to Seiki. "Let's go back. I warn you, sitting at sick beds is a very tedious business." "Not as tedious as being sick, I bet." "Uh, no. I can tell you that from personal experience."

They had to wait while yet another healer checked Karik's breathing and pulse – one thing about being injured so close to the academy, Karik had no shortage of experts to care for him. The woman fiddled with an odd kind of drain in Karik's chest, then straightened up and nodded to them. "He's stable – please tell Wika if he wakes or appears distressed." Wika, presumably, was the healer on duty. Arman agreed and they took their seats – he insisted that Seiki took the more comfortable chair, but he still wondered if she knew exactly how tiresome this could get. At least the company would ease it for each of them. Karik was still unconscious, and his hand, when Arman took it, was icy cold. He had no idea if this was a good or a bad sign, given his injuries, but if he was unconscious, at least he wasn't in pain. As Arman could attest, gut wounds hurt like little else in the world. It still angered him that Loke had died in such unnecessary agony – and that he had died at all. Kei had told him that it was by no means certain a Darshianese healer would have saved his life, but at least he would have had a chance, the chance that Karik, thank the gods, was now getting. It would have been kinder to have cut Loke's throat that day than to let him endure the end that he had. "Arman? Are you all right?" He realised he was grinding his teeth as he remembered. "It's nothing. Just...unpleasant thoughts." Which she could tell, very likely. "What you said before – it's not true. I don’t dislike Karik." She looked doubtful. "He said you did. I know he believes it. It makes him sad." "I'm surprised he talks about me at all," he said rather stiffly. She rolled her eyes and pointed at her temple. "I can't help it," she said patiently as if he was a stupid child. "Maybe so, but I don't dislike Karik. He...disturbs me." "He's your son...no, he's not..." She frowned. "He thinks you're his father, and you know you're not. Why haven't you told him?" "Are you always this impertinent, Seiki? This is very personal business you are prying into so casually." The look on her face made her look much older than her seventeen years. "Karik's my friend and you make him unhappy. I want to know why."

"Forgive me, my dear child...." I'm not a child. She clenched her fist. I just want to know why you're claiming to sit here as if you care about him at all, when you don’t. I...don't not care. Has anyone ever told you that you can be pushy? She gave him a small smile. No, you're the first. Do you wish him harm? Don't be silly, Seiki. His parents are my dearest friends. He...is precious to people who are precious to me. Of course I want him to get well. And that's all that matters to you? Don't you like him for himself at all? I...I hardly know him. And circumstances.... You know, this is none of your business. I already said it is, and what else will we do to pass the time? I could order you to be taken back to the House, you know. "But Wyma says the Rulers can't tell the Gifted what to do." He groaned. "Must we quarrel? It hardly seems appropriate in the circumstances." She put her hand on his. I'm sorry. I was being rude. I was just trying to distract myself. He patted her hand in forgiveness. It's all right. Your desire to champion a friend is a good and natural instinct. But these are matters I wanted to speak to Karik about first – we were to do that this very evening, he said, looking regretfully at the still form in the bed. I hope we will yet have a chance to do that. At her miserable nod, he took her hand in his. Why don't you tell me why Karik means so much to you? You haven't known him very long. He'd only wanted to distract her from her worries a little in asking, but as he listened to her quiet, slightly stumbling description of how Karik had reached out to her, of how they had bonded over shared experiences of prejudice, embarrassment – and, the gods forgive him, parental rejection – and how he had given her a purpose, shown her that she had worth and that she could still receive affection even if her family had caused her so much pain, Arman felt humbled and not a little ashamed of himself. He'd listened to Kei's praise of Karik, and

felt nothing but a little jealousy and more irritation at the efforts his lover had gone to over the boy. He had been grateful that Jena had solved a mess he had caused himself by taking an infant away from his mother for no better reason than the mother was unfit to raise a jombeker let alone a child, and been pleased that she had derived so much joy from motherhood, as her lover had from being a father. But he had never really looked at Karik the person. He had to admit he had always resisted allowing the boy to get close or getting to know him better at all, and now he had to wonder why, since he couldn't even use Mekus' supposed status as the boy's real father as a barrier to getting to know him. Gods, if he could make the effort to find the good side of an irritating sod like Colonel Jiv, then surely he could have spent more time over the years finding out about Karik. If he was brutally honest with himself, the boy's parentage had little to do with. Yes, he reminded him of Mayl, more as he'd got older, but Arman had never thought that the child had anything of his mother's nature, not even now, and he never really thought of Mekus unless Prijian politics were mentioned. He just didn't understand this blindness towards the boy which everyone but he had noticed long before he had. The healer, Wika, came back to check on Karik. "What is that device?" Arman asked, pointing to the tube poking out from under some bandages." "His lung collapsed. This is a valve – air gets out, but not in. His lung needs to reinflate." He sounded rather distracted. "Would you excuse me, please?" Arman led Seiki away from the bed as the healer continued the examination. Then he looked up. "Seiki, would you call Master Pitis? Tell him it's urgent." Her eyes widened in shock, but so far Arman could tell, she did what she was asked. "What's wrong with him?" "I'm not sure. My lord, would you please...?" "Come on, Seiki." He took her firmly by the shoulders and took her outside. "Wika's worried. He thinks Karik's bleeding inside." Gods. "Seiki, you have to stop listening. Look at me, girl." She stared at him sullenly. "You will only torture yourself if you listen to this. Take it from me." "But...."

"Damn it, Seiki, Gifted or not, I will have you taken back to the House if you don't listen to me! There's nothing you can do, but if Karik does die, you don't want to have this memory in your heart, you really don't." "You don't care if he dies anyway!" she shouted at him. He grabbed her arm and pulled her through a side door into the garden, then he shook her. "Seiki, getting angry with me won't make Karik better. Whether you believe me or not, I don't want Karik to die. No one should die like that...." He made himself stop. "Please...you should just go home. If things are deteriorating, we'll both be in the way. You won't want to see it if the worst happens. Watching someone die is the most appalling experience." She opened her mouth and shut it again, her face white with shock. "I'm sorry," she whispered, then her legs gave out under her. Arman caught her and lifted her over to a bench – she was heavier than Karik, but then she was a lot taller. He laid her down and crouched beside her, cursing Neka for abandoning her to his care. "Seiki?" He patted her cheeks. It wasn't really a faint. Her eyes were tightly shut, but she was muttering. "They're going to operate again...his chest is filling up...Pitis thinks he's going to die. They don't think they can stop the bleeding...." He slapped her face, unable to think of anyway to snap her out of this. "Stop it! Seiki, please, stop listening!" But she seemed as lost as ever in her internal vision. He wished one of the gift masters were here. He had no experience of handling a distressed Gifted person, and no idea whether she had enough control over her Gift to do as he ordered. Neka! Arman? Where in hells are you? Karik's dying, and Seiki's collapsed on me. I need someone to help her. Oh gods. I'm on my way. Stay with her. He got an arm under her and made her sit up. "Seiki, come on. Look at me. Focus on me, girl. Damn it, snap out of it!" He had to be far rougher with her than he would ever wish to be, but he finally got her to open her eyes and look at him. The moment she did, she began to cry hysterically, and then all he could do was hold her in a fatherly way, which wasn't something he'd done for a very long time. Grimly, he thought her distress

probably meant that Karik was either dead or close to death, and his guts turned upside down at the idea. He heard fast running footsteps, turned and saw Neka. "Seiki? Seiki, darling, it's me." He exchanged places with Neka and let her handle the girl. He'd never been good with hysterics, or wild grief, even his own. He clenched his fists. He would strangle the man who'd done this with his bare hands. No child should die like this. Neka was rocking Seiki gently, and presumably talking to her in her mind. Arman found a bench at a little distance from them, and put his head in his hands. What was he going to tell Jena? What was he going to tell Kei? Time passed, he wasn't sure how long. He didn't even really know what time it was, though he was distantly aware that his stomach was expecting food so it had to be close to his normal lunch time. The idea of eating made him sick. "Arman?" He stood and went to where Neka was still holding Seiki. The girl seemed somewhat calmer, but still looked rather distressed. "I'm going to get her back to the House. Jera's on his way." "I told you this was no place for her to be," he said through gritted teeth. "Yes, you did. I'm sorry." Karik? He prepared to hear the worst. He's being operated on. It's not good, Arman. All the more reason to keep Seiki away. She doesn't need to see this, Neka. Whatever you have to do to stop her, stop her. I would spare anyone that sight. Jena? Her kind eyes were anguished. I thought she would faint from shock. I don't know what to say to her. I'll try to talk to her later, but we need to know what's happening with Karik – no point in giving her hope if he's dying.

A shadow passed before them, and then Jera landed lightly on the grass. He came to Neka immediately and kissed her cheek. "Let me have her, love." He lifted Seiki easily in his arms. "Come on, Seiki, let's get you home safe." She turned to look at Neka. "Will you tell me if...if Karik...?" "Yes, darling, I will. Go with Jera and let them look after you. I'll be right here, and I'll let you know if anything happens." Jera kissed his lover again and turned to Arman. "I'm sorry to hear of this," he said simply. "We all are. Take care of her, Jera." He nodded, then rose silently in the air, bearing the girl to where, hopefully, those with more understanding of her Gift could help her. "I'm sorry," Neka said. "I didn't think about what would happen if she listened to the healers treating Karik." "And she overloaded? The way Kei did that time?" "No, it's just emotional stress. She and Karik have become so very close, and she made the mistake of watching the healers working on Karik – she kept seeing the blood." She winced. "Sometimes our Gifts are anything but." "I don't know what to do, Neka. I can't help him, I can't console Jena – all I was doing was upsetting Seiki because she thinks I hate the boy, which is just not true...." He suddenly found Neka's arms wrapped around him. I know you don't hate him, Arman. I know the truth of the matter, remember? Seiki doesn’t. I was going to fix things with Karik – what if I've left it too late? What if he dies thinking I rejected him? He believes I'm his father.... She just hugged him again. If he dies, then his spirit will be freed and the mistakes of this life will be past. If he doesn't, then you can say what is in your heart. I think your problem is knowing what is in your heart concerning him. Why, Neka? Why do I have so much trouble getting close to the boy? No one else seems to have the least difficulty.

No one who isn't afraid of him does, that's true. Arman, the last thing I want to do is tell you what to think, but I will say this. You're a very brave man except in one respect. You are afraid of being hurt here. She laid her hand over his heart. And fear has a wonderful way of blinding us to the truth. Fear of Karik? That's ridiculous. She just fixed him with a look. I'm not going to say more. We have more important things to deal with now. I promised Jena a mind-speaker would be with you, and since Seiki has gone, that duty falls to me. But the other Rulers.... Yes, I know. Let me deal with that, you have enough to worry about. "Arman, you look ready to pass out. Let's find some tea. I can monitor things while we do that. If you're needed, I can tell you." At least he knew she could handle the bad news in a way Seiki had yet to be trained to do, and he had known Neka for so long, she was no strain. They sat in a corner of the dining hall – Arman was right, it was lunch time, so it was filling up. Several people came up to express their regrets but mostly they were left alone. Neka sipped her tea in silence, keeping an ear on the various conversations she was in charge of facilitating. He felt exhausted – lack of sleep, an early start, and then all this had robbed him of all energy – and almost dozed as they waited for news. He jumped as she laid a hand on his wrist. "Eat," she said gently. "I can't." "You sound like Reis when he gets upset about something. Eat something, Arman. We've a long day ahead of us." Only when she agreed to eat lunch too did he reluctantly ask a servant to bring them some bread and cheese, and more tea. He had a feeling he was going to be awash with the stuff before the day was over. "Any news?" "He's back in the infirmary. Pitis is with him but they don't want anyone in there just at the moment. He knows I'm 'listening'. Karik's still fighting, Arman." "Good. There's nothing to the child, I don't know where he gets his spirit from."

She gave him the oddest look at that comment. "He must be tough, don't you think? Living with prejudice all his life for just being who he is and what he looks like, enduring what he has this year? Jera said Reis is beside himself with worry. He and Karik have become such close friends. I think they saw the goodness in each other's soul. It draws people to Karik – those that don't fear to open their hearts to him." "I'm not afraid of the boy, I just...." "Just...?" "Just...find he...." He stopped, and as the servant chose that moment to bring their food, he used it as an excuse to avoid embarrassing himself. Neka clearly knew what he was doing, but didn't press him. It was, as she said, not the time for such a conversation. They remained in the dining hall long after the last stragglers had left for their classes or other business, and the servants had cleared everything ready for the next influx for the evening meal. No one disturbed them or questioned their right to be there – Arman's position would have guaranteed that, but he got the impression it was more respect for the situation. It was mid-afternoon before she lifted her head. "Pitis says you can come in." "Not you?" "I'll wait here. They don't need a crowd of people in their infirmary – but I'll be 'there'." He stood and stretched. He was stiff as anything from sitting and worrying for so long. Then he bent and kissed her cheek. "Thank you," he said sincerely. "I don't know what I would have done without you." "Coped as you always do – but just with more difficulty. Go on," she said kindly. Pitis met him in the corridor. "My lord, I should warn you – he's gravely ill. There was more damage than we spotted the first time and he began to haemorrhage – it's taken all this time to stop the bleeding. Unfortunately, the loss of blood makes it harder for him, as does the lung damage." "How long before you know if he will come through?"

"My answer is the same as before, my lord. I'm sorry. There are too many unknowns. I have offered my prayers to our gods for his recovery." For a moment, Arman was confused as to what he was referring, then he realised the man was talking about the damn Prijian gods. "I'd rather you put your faith in the skill of your healers, Master Pitis," he said gruffly. "I do that too, of course," the man replied with a slight bow. "But I can't help my beliefs, even if you no longer share them." "Of course not. Apologies," he said in Prijian. "May I see him?" "Yes. He's awake – I've reduced the dose of pijn because he needs to breathe as deeply as he can to heal the lung. I fear he is in more pain because of that, but I daren't drug him into unconsciousness right now. He needs to replace the blood he's lost and he can't do that unless he drinks. You can help him, if you wish to." "I certainly do. Whatever I can, Master Pitis, I want to do." "Then follow me, my lord." When he'd left Karik, the boy had been sleeping apparently peacefully. This was no longer the case, and his green eyes darted to Arman as he entered the infirmary, his mouth tight with pain, and his hands clenching and unclenching weakly. He was still propped up with pillows, lying bare to the waist with a large swathe of bandages around his middle, as well as on his arm. "Gods, he's in agony," Arman muttered. They approached the bed, and Arman sat down. "Karik?" At the sound of his voice, Karik strained to sit up. "Ah...?" He coughed painfully, and fell back, looking exhausted, as pale as the pillows he lay on. Arman looked up at Pitis in a silent plea to help him. "I'm sorry it hurts, lad. Arman is going to help look after you. Arman, we have a supply of medicinal tea, good for the blood loss and for averting infection. Karik, you must drink the tea, and breathe deeply." He bent down and whispered into Arman's ear. "The tea contains yusus extract. Not as powerful as the pijn, but better in such cases. He should drink as much as he can." "Bring it to me then." He took Karik's hand and pushed his hair off his sweaty face. Karik looked at him with dull eyes. "I know it hurts, son, so when it does, squeeze my hand."

"Wuh-want Ma...." "I know, Karik. When you're settled a little, Neka will let you talk to her. But not right now. Right now, you've got to replace the blood you've lost and get stable." Karik squeezed his hand and grimaced. "Hurts." His voice was barely audible, but the word was clear enough. "I bet. It hurt when I had a hole in my gut too. If you fight the pain, it's worse." Karik closed his eyes, but not, Arman sensed because he was rejecting the message, just out of pure weariness. If he could sleep naturally, surely that would be the best thing for him. But the boy was in too much pain for that. The healer, Wika, brought over a flask of tea and a cup. "We have a pot standing ready – just ask for more when this cools, my lord. I need to record how much he drinks, if you would keep note." He was familiar with the task – he'd done his share of nursing patients under Kei's direction, and Kei had trained him as thoroughly as any medic in some respects. He put his arm under Karik's shoulder and helped him up a little. "Sip this, Karik." Karik tried to get it down but he choked and tea went everywhere. A tear leaked from the corner of his eye. "S-sorry." "It's all right, don't fret about that, it's only tea. Try again." At the price of much patience and pain, spilled tea and more tears, Karik swallowed a whole cup. "Well done. Just rest." His hand was squeezed again. "Please...Ma...Ah-man...don' wait...." Karik opened his eyes. "Please." Arman's gut tightened as he realised that Karik was afraid he was going to die before he spoke to his mother again, and he could not deny there was a chance of this...just as it had been for Loke. Neka? I think we should let him do this. Let me contact Jena and I'll come to you. "Neka's coming, Karik." Karik looked at him, gratitude in his tired eyes, and squeezed his hand again, this time in thanks. "I had a l-letter."

"A letter? For me?" Karik nodded, then winced. "Kei...im...portant...." Arman wished he would save his breath – it was so hard for him to get each word out. "It's all right, son, we can find it later...." "No...time...please?" What pissing letter? Neka, can you ask Pitis if there was a letter with Karik's things? Arman had no idea where the boy's clothes had been put. They would be unusable.... Gods, he needed to tell Pira what was going on. She would be frantic about Karik. A few moments later, Neka spoke in his head. Pitis says there's a note addressed to you in his pocket. I'll bring it along. Thank you. "We've found the letter, Karik, so you can relax now." Karik nodded. Wika brought a cloth over to wipe Karik's face and chest – Arman took it from him. "I can look after him – I've been trained well enough." "As you wish, my lord. A familiar face is best in this situation." Arman would hardly describe himself as 'familiar' but Karik wasn't objecting to his handling him. He was still fighting, despite his weariness and the pain and the blood loss. Good breeding, he thought, then caught himself. That was what he'd said about.... Gods. Karik was not Loke. Karik was not going to die. Arman would not allow it. He was trying to coax the boy to another cup of tea when Neka arrived, and it seemed to him that Karik was immediately a little easier to see her. She took his hand, and from the concentration on both their faces, he guessed they were talking. He continued to support Karik's body and gently stroked his hair, which seemed to soothe him a little, another similarity which brought back painful memories. Neka stayed for twenty minutes or more. When she finally sighed and looked up at Arman, he realised Karik was asleep – or unconscious. His breathing was a little easier, and there seemed no point in forcing him to wake just to drink the tea. He laid him down carefully on the pillows. Well?

He spoke to them. It was pretty upsetting for her, but I don't think he realised it – we tried to make sure he didn't. He thinks he's going to die, Arman. Yes, I know. But he's not. I won't let him die without a fight. She gave him a slight smile, then pulled a bloodied bit of paper from her pocket and handed it to him. It's from Kei. Apparently Karik wanted to deliver it to you in person, and he's worried if you don't get it, that you and Kei will continue to be at odds. He was determined that didn't happen. He was afraid if he died and the letter was lost, your quarrel would continue. She reached out and touched the boy's face. He's a little confused, I think. He's in a lot of pain. I can't believe they can't help him with that more than they are. Neka, can you make it possible for me to talk to him without him needing to speak? It's so hard for him to find the breath. Of course. I'll make sure someone keeps the link open at all times. She rose. "I'll leave you with him, but you can call me at any time. I can let him speak to Jena from anywhere, but I wanted to visit him this one time." "Thank you. One last favour – Pira? Can you let her know?" "I already did. She was ready to come charging over here, but I told her you wouldn't want that. Everyone wants to help Karik. Reis said he wants to visit, but I've put him off too." "Thank you." The last thing he wanted was an emotionally volatile mind-mover to come down and see his new best friend so gravely ill. Seiki's loss of control had been bad enough. At least she couldn't bring the building down around their ears. Neka kissed his cheek. "You are the conduit for all our love. Make sure he knows that." When she left, Arman laid a hand on Karik's forehead – it felt horribly cold and clammy. "Did you hear that, Karik? You've got a lot of people willing you to get through this." And at least one of them is me.

Chapter 10 He'd known going in just how difficult this could get – which had been one of the reasons he'd been so desperate to get Seiki away from the infirmary – and the hours that followed did not disappoint that expectation. Because of the pain and the difficulty in breathing, Karik's periods of sleep were short and clearly of little benefit to him, and the manful efforts he made to get the tea down exhausted him to the point of weeping. The weariness and the pain made coherent thought difficult for him at times, and as he slipped in and out of his troubled sleep, he confused Arman with other people – sometimes his parents, sometimes people less dear to him, like Mekus. Arman tried as best he could to anchor him in reality, using his voice and his touch so Karik could let them be a path out of his delirium. Arman waited until Karik was asleep before leaving to relieve himself, ate a snatched supper at the bedside, and consumed innumerable cups of tea as he kept the grim vigil. Neka took over the task of keeping Karik's parents informed, for which Arman was very grateful. Trying to present a calm face to deeply worried parents was more than he could have managed, but he was glad they were able to see that Karik was in good hands in the infirmary. Reji, of course, had wanted to come to Darshek immediately. Neka had convinced him to wait for Kei's opinion. Arman thought Kei would ask them not to come rushing up. It could do no good, and to be blunt, there was no hope of them getting here in time before Karik died, if he did. But Arman was glad not to have to be the one to tell them that. Pitis took charge of things until midnight, then another senior healer took over until morning. Their expressions told him enough – Karik was far from being out of danger. The two great risks were another haemorrhage and infection. The first could kill the boy in the next day – an infection might take longer to strike. Until several days had passed, no one could assume Karik would survive. He ignored his own tiredness as best he could, but as midnight passed, he caught himself dozing when things were quiet. He didn't want to give in to his weakness – he had vowed to see Karik through this night and he would – and used all the tricks he'd learned in the army, when he'd kept watch at night. Gods, he'd never thought he'd need those again either. It was during one of those quiet periods that he recalled the note Neka had fetched, and which he had shoved on the side table as being unimportant at the time. Karik had had no way of knowing that Kei and he had already made up their quarrel – if he had known, then he wouldn’t have been at the Rulers' House at all, Arman supposed. Another sin to lay at his door.

He grimaced at the dried blood encrusting the paper, but the sight of Kei's familiar, beloved handwriting made his eyes become itchy with emotion. It was a simple, heartfelt plea for forgiveness, an open and generous admission of fault, and expressing his love. A note that any lover would treasure, but the price of receiving it was far higher than either Kei or Arman would have dreamed would need to be paid. He heard Karik's soft, pained coughing and he hastened to help him sit up. In the soft lamp light, Karik looked translucent. Arman? I need to.... To...? Oh. He realised the boy needed to relieve himself. He called quietly to the healer and explained, and between them, they helped Karik piss, a tiresome exercise which left Karik sweating with pain. Now you have to drink more tea to replace it, he joked. I'll try... but it tastes bad. It did? Arman sniffed at the cup he'd just poured. You're right. It's vile. I'm sorry. It's all right. Ma said I had to drink it. Am I going to die, Arman? There was a tired resignation in the boy's eyes which was completely out of place in a child his age. Not on my watch, you aren't. Disgusting or not, you better drink this. It got no easier, this task, but on the other hand, it was no worse, not for now. Karik was at least lucid, but he didn't even have enough strength to hold the cup. Arman hadn't asked Pitis about Karik's right arm – he hoped there would be no permanent damage, but it seemed a relatively trivial concern among the others. He would have let the boy rest, since he clearly needed it, but when he went to lay Karik back down, he shook his head slightly. No. Please let me sit up? Whatever you want. But you need to rest. Please? I don't want to die in my sleep. This time it was Arman's hand on Karik's which tightened a little. He didn't want to lie to the boy – he was a healer's son, and well aware of the realities of life and death – but he refused to admit the possibility to him. You are not going to die, Karik, I simply won't allow it. Remember, with every minute, your body is mending, that's what Pitis said.

It's just what healers always say, Arman. Maybe so, but you're still not going to die. You should try and sleep – it will help you heal. Hurts too much. As he had done all day, he simply stated it without complaint. Even when he was confused, he didn't whine about the discomfort. He would have made an excellent officer to have under his command, Arman caught himself thinking. He shook his head – the way the past and present had been blurring all day had been one of the more distressing aspects of the whole ordeal. Why you, Arman? Karik lay on his arm and stared up at him. Why I what? His tired brain couldn't make the connection, if there was one. Why are you looking after me? He seemed to be struggling to sit up higher, and the effort made him cough hard. Take it easy, Karik, he said, helping him up a little, wishing the lad would settle and get the sleep he so obviously needed. I'm looking after you because you need looking after. Rather to his surprise and slight amusement, Karik rolled his eyes. They thought someone you knew might make you more comfortable. But you're a Ruler. Well, I'm still someone you know. He didn't have to read Karik's mind to know what he was thinking just then. Now was really not the time to have that discussion. Would you prefer someone else? Kei will be home soon. Karik reached for his hand. No. Thank you. The grip tightened as did his mouth. He began to cough again, and this time, managed to cough himself into exhaustion. Arman laid him down again and, like Pitis, prayed very hard to gods he no longer worshipped that the lad's fears would not be realised.

He jumped so hard when someone touched his shoulder that he nearly broke his damn back. Automatically, his eyes searched for Karik, and he relaxed a little as

he saw the boy was sleeping, still breathing harshly, still holding tightly onto his hand. Had he slept? What had woken him? He turned, expecting to see one of the healers, but instead he saw Kei's kind face as he crouched down beside Arman. He could have cried with relief as he gave his lover a one-armed hug, not wanting to release Karik's grip on his hand. "Thank the gods," he said fervently, his face buried in Kei's shoulder. "I'm sorry I wasn't here, Arman. Let me speak to Wika and I'll come back – I promised Jena I'd report to her on his condition." Arman nodded and Kei rose and went to the other end of the infirmary. Arman stretched a little – judging by the light through the windows, he can't have dozed for more than a few minutes. He was glad Karik hadn't woken – the poor sod had had such a difficult night. He brushed the hair off his face again and noted that he seemed a little warm. At least Kei was back – Pitis was competent, but everyone agreed Arman's lover was the best healer in Darshek, possibly even in Darshian, and he had been desperate to get Kei's opinion on Karik's state. Gods, he was tired, and had a horrible fatigue headache. He hoped Karik hadn't woken while he'd been dozing, but somehow he doubted he had. The child had been delirious again with exhaustion and pain, and had clung to Arman, terrified of falling asleep though he needed it so badly. All Arman could do was soothe and reassure, and hold him until his body overcame his fears. His breathing seemed no better, but at least it was no worse. It was probably time to change his dressings again, but Kei would probably want to do that so he could check the injuries for himself. Neka? Good morning, Arman. Are you as tired as you sound? More, probably. How much have you told Kei? As much as I know. I was able to reach him two hours ago and he's already spoken to Jena and to Pira. And Seiki? Very upset, but it was right to take her away from the infirmary. That was a mistake I made. It's all right – you're not used to such things, and I'm glad you're not.

He's stable? He seems to be, but I'll know soon. Then I will too, she said, and he could imagine her impish smile. Karik twitched and Arman leaned over to see if he needed help, but he was just dreaming, or perhaps trying to get comfortable in his sleep. It still amazed him that the boy's slight frame could fight so hard – having seen men twice his size felled by similar injuries, it didn't seem possible for Karik to survive. Oh, one thing, Neka. Any word from the soldiers regarded the attacker? No one had come with news, but that was hardly surprising. She paused. There is news, she said carefully, but Kei wants to tell you it. Very well. How very odd, he thought, frowning. Kei had finished his conversation with the other healer and now returned, his expression grave. Silly as he could undoubtedly be when he was larking around, as a healer he was never anything but entirely serious, and he gave Karik his entire attention, undoing the bandages and checking the drains and wounds, feeling the pulse, listening to Karik's breathing and smelling his breath, and feeling his abdomen. As he redressed the wounds, he questioned Arman closely about whether the boy had passed urine, his mental state, and anything which had struck Arman, however trivial. Arman answered everything and waited patiently until Kei drew the covers up to Karik's waist again. "Well?" Kei pointed to his temple. I try not to discuss patients in their hearing, but I don't think Karik wants us to leave, he said, with a small smile at the way Karik was still firmly gripping Arman's hand. I told him to squeeze it if he was in pain. I don't think he's stopped squeezing. Can't you help him? It seems wrong to make him suffer this way. Kei found a stool and pulled it up beside Arman. He sat and took Arman's free hand. Actually, Pitis is only doing what I would do. If you use pijn in such cases, it inhibits the breathing, which is the last thing we want. We've found that patients with lung injuries do much better if we don't use pijn more than the barest amount, and for someone of Karik's size, we're using as much as we dare, at least for now. I can increase the yusus extract but the taste is pretty bad.

It's already disgusting. Is there nothing else you can use? I'll have one of my students make up some nern extract for him, see if that helps, and maybe some more honey would make it more palatable. But for now, we don't have many other choices. He's stable – no further bleeding, the stitches are holding, and with the volume of liquid you've managed to get into him, he should be replacing the lost blood. You've done well, Arman. No one could have nursed him better. He saved my life, Kei. He threw himself in the path of a knife, and for who? Someone who's not even considered him as anyone the least important for his own sake. If he dies, I will carry it on my conscience all my days. The only one at fault is the one who stabbed him. Neka said you know more about him. Who was it, and why did he want to kill me? His eyes full of sympathy, Kei raised Arman's hand and kissed it. Master Bikel says the man's name is Jik. Jik of Ai-Darbin. As for why, I think you can guess. Because he was so tired, and because it was such a long time ago, for several moments, Arman simply had no idea what Kei was talking about. Then he recalled a clan court, and an angry, grieving man, accusing Arman of the murder of his child. The memory was suddenly as sharp and vivid as if he was back in that village once again, waiting to be held to account for his dreadful crime. "No," Arman whispered, his heart cold and tight in his chest. "No, it can't be that. Why? After all these years, why now?" Kei pulled him close and rested his cheek against Arman's in comfort. Because you were made Ruler. He had had no idea where you were or what you were doing until the nomination was sent out to the villages to discuss. His wife died at the end of last year and he's been not really right since then, so Seya reports. He disappeared from his farm nearly two months ago – he must have walked or hitched a lift to Darshek, though no one's reported seeing him with any traders or travellers. Karik saw him last week, but of course he had no idea who he was. He must have been waiting for you to show up at the House. To get his revenge by killing me, but instead he nearly kills the boy who is legally my son in revenge for the death of his own. Arman laughed but with no humour behind it. And here I was thinking the irony rested in my having to tend two boys with similar injuries. I never dreamed the cases were linked by more than that.

He looked at Karik's snow-pale face. If he dies, no penance on earth could wipe that sin from my soul. I'm sorry, my love, Kei said. I knew how painful this would be for you, but I had no idea of the rest of it. Jik should have killed me. He had a right to it. Kei shook him. "Don't. Don't let his insanity drag you in. Jik saw you punished, he heard the judgement of his clan head, he heard himself judged for his own failures. You have suffered too, and vengeance would not ease his pain any more than it did yours. You know all this, so stop it. All that matters now is that Karik recovers." And what happens to him? He just goes back to the village, and Seya deals with him? Kei rubbed his eyes. No, he can't. For one thing, trying to kill a Ruler is too grave for a clan court to deal with, and for another, he's quite unhinged. He's a continuing danger, and I fear always will be. He's to be confined to the island for now, Lord Peika tells me. If he's ever fit to be tried, then he will be. But the safety of our people – and himself – comes first. He's being taken out there as we speak. I wanted to strangle him for this. You'd think I would have learned by now how pointless revenge is – and if I have not, how could he have done? Revenge is a natural instinct, I remember you explained that to Myka very clearly. But to plot revenge coldly, to seek another's death after the first flush of anger – then that is either evil or insanity. Jik's insane. I doubt he's clever enough to be evil, Kei added bitterly. I want to be charitable, but this is twice he's harmed those I love, and not the first time he's attempted to kill you either. Whether it was because his passions had so long ago been exhausted, or because he was now, Arman couldn't find the anger in him towards Jik that he'd held the day before. Somewhere the madness had to end. He just hoped it would not end with Karik's death. "I don't want him to die," he murmured against Kei's cheek. "None of us do. Arman, you're asleep on your feet. I'm ordering you to get some rest and something to eat. I can look after Karik now." "Can I stay? I...I want to stay."

Kei didn't question his request at all as he looked around the infirmary. "You can sleep in here. Karik will be very ill for days, possibly weeks. You have to sleep and look after yourself, since I have a responsibility for your health as much as his. Go wash, eat, stretch and come back to sleep. He won't be left alone for even a moment, I promise you." There was no arguing with Kei in healer mode, and Arman didn't even try. "I love you," he whispered, then stood up. He took Kei's hand and placed Karik's in it. "I'll arrange someone to bring clothes from home...." Kei held his hand up. "No, leave all that to me. If you want to do this right, then do this one thing. Be Karik's nurse and let other people handle the rest." "He'll probably want you, now you're back." "Then you can take over the rest of it for me. Go, Arman, and don't come back until you've had a wash and a shave. I don't allow dirt in the infirmary." Arman bowed. "Of course not, Master Kei." Kei waved him off, and Arman went in search of the necessities of life. He found his fellow Rulers, inexhaustibly kind as they always were, had already put things in hand for him. A servant from the House was waiting for him with clean clothes and his shaving kit, and a meal was brought to the small office that had been hastily set aside for his exclusive use for the duration (and he sent a silent apology to whoever had been evicted for that reason). If he needed it, a cot could be put up there for him, he was told, but if he wasn't sleeping in the infirmary, there was no good reason for him not to walk a few hundred yards back to the House. There was a note from Lord Peika confirming what Kei had told him about Jik, and confirming also that a proper judicial hearing was not possible at the present time given the man's patent unfitness to attend. Arman scribbled a note in response to say he was perfectly satisfied with this. It still left questions about the security of the Rulers, and Jik was not the only man in Darshian who conceivably held a grudge against Arman, or the Prij as a race, but Arman found himself quite unable to deal with the question for now. That was why they had more than one Ruler, after all, and he was grateful for such a wise and flexible system. Even a wash and a shave didn't revive him much – he simply needed sleep, and within the hour he returned to the infirmary. Any thought that he was being a little silly in insisting on being by Karik's side when Kei had returned,

disappeared as he walked back in and Karik, now awake again, immediately searched for him. He's been asking for you, Kei said, helping the boy to sit a little. Arman resumed his seat and Karik took hold of his hand again. I'm sorry, son, I just had to get some breakfast. I...I just wanted to know where you were. I'm right here now, don't fret. Karik stared at him, suffering and exhaustion making his eyes look huge and bruised in his white face. Do you have to go again? No. I just need some sleep, and so do you. Kei said he will sit with you but I'll be right here in the next bed. Will you hold on for me? I'll try. I'm scared, Arman. Gods, the poor lad was crying. He brushed the tears away with his thumb. Let me tell you a secret. When I was injured in the war, I got pretty damn frightened too, and I was nearly ten years your senior and a general to boot. Being scared is nothing to apologise for. Kei says you're doing well, so we just have to keep fighting. We'll win this battle together but you need to pace yourself, like you do when you're running beasts. He stroked his hand gently across Karik's forehead – it still seemed too warm to him. I'll be right here and Kei will wake me if you want me. You won't let me die. He said it like he was simply restating a fact, not asking a question. No, I won’t let you die. I promise you. Now, you've got a way to go, son, but you won't be alone. Will you try and sleep again? I'm tired, so you have to be exhausted. Karik nodded, and his eyelids drooped shut. Kei looked at him for a few moments, then laid him down gently. He's asleep. How have you made such an impression in a single day? I have no idea. I assumed once you were here, he'd be more than glad to see the back of me, although I wanted the choice to be his. Kei shook his head. Well, whatever the truth of the matter, his anxiety went right down as soon as he saw you, and since whatever keeps a patient calm is a good

thing, I'm prescribing a constant diet of your attendance. Arman smiled at the joke. Seriously, Arman, with such an injury, his becoming unduly agitated could set him bleeding again, or worse – whatever you're doing, works, so keep doing it. I'll try. He seems rather warm. Yes, I know – I think it's just the body healing itself, nothing worse. Infection is a real risk, so wash your hands before you attend him and after handling him, food, bandages or using the latrine. I'm going to restrict visitors to you and me for now – I'm taking control of his case, but with Pitis' advice since Karik's a family member. I've told Jena what the situation is. She's agreed to let me handle it. They won't come up until I tell them. There's no point, he added grimly. Arman nodded, stroking Karik's cheek. "I've been thinking of Loke almost constantly. Sometimes I can't remember who I'm looking at," he whispered. Kei put his finger to his lips. Don't wake him. I'm not surprised – similar age, similar injuries.... Similar looks. I never noted the resemblance before, but it's astonishing how alike they are. Kei looked at him. Is it a true resemblance, or is your mind confusing the two boys? It's important to remember Karik is not Loke, Arman. He cupped the back of Arman's head and pulled him close so he could kiss him. And he's not going to die like Loke did. No. I won't let him. Good. Now get in that bed and don't let me hear a peep out of you for at least six hours. But if Karik.... If Karik needs you, I'll wake you. I promise. Sleep, he said, giving Arman a gentle shove. If you can't, I'll prescribe you some pijn. Arman didn't want that, since it would make him drowsy if he was needed. He gave Kei a kiss, then fell gratefully onto the narrow bed next to Karik's. He was asleep in seconds.

Unfortunately, the warmth Arman had detected was not just Karik's body healing himself. Within hours, the wound in his stomach was showing the tell-tales signs of infection, looking red and inflamed. Karik's temperature began to rise steadily, and Arman and the healers had to work hard to keep him cool. The infirmary was barred to all visitors, and the two patients already in residence were moved out, lest the sickness spread or they make Karik worse. A more potent oivi mould dressing was applied over the wound, and Arman's task was get as much of the medicinal tea into Karik as he could, since it was known to thwart infection. But Karik just seemed to grow worse whatever they did. Kei worked tirelessly, and Arman did his bidding willingly. Nothing was too much trouble, if they could just reduce Karik's agony that made him claw at the pain in his gut until they had to restrain him to stop him doing himself an injury. He became delirious and cried weakly for his parents, which in turned brought on harsh, racking coughs that left him sobbing with pain. The scent of sickness filled the infirmary. Kei operated again, excising infected flesh and packing the wound with herbs and gauze to help it drain. As Karik was laid down on his bed again, white faced and looking as close to death as he had yet been, Arman look in despair at his lover. Is he going to survive? Kei's lips tightened. I wish I were more certain of that, Arman. I need to tell Jena. Master Pitis will watch him for a few minutes – excuse me, I need to do this alone. He walked away, stripping his bloodied apron and balling it up in his hands. Karik was struggling to breathe, even deeply unconscious though he was, fighting the pain and the still injured lung. Arman lifted him gently so Pitis could put another pillow under him, then took a clean cloth and wiped the boy's face and body. Like laying out a corpse, he thought grimly, though no corpse would be this hot. Kei returned a few minutes later, looking gaunt with anxiety. "Jena and Reji understand the situation," he said quietly. "They asked to be told if he wakes, so they can speak to him." "Of course. Kei, you need to rest." The man had been awake all night.

"So do you." "He needs you more than me, and he's asleep. Unless you know there's something you can do that I or Pitis can’t, then you need to get some rest now." "Yes." He collapsed onto the bed next to Karik's, and put his head in his hands. "There must be something," he murmured. "Have I worked all these years only to lose him in the same way we've so lost so many others?" "Your efforts may yet succeed, may they not?" Kei's look told Arman that the chances were not great. "Wake me the second he does," he ordered. With that, Kei curled up on the bed, facing away from them all, and went still. Arman didn't know if he had fallen instantly asleep, but he hoped he had. He touched the boy's too hot cheek and replaced the cloth, cool side down. Fight, Karik, he said in silent plea to the child. Don't let death claim you yet.

Arman knew it would be a grim time, but he hadn't really appreciated, even with all his experience, just how gruelling, how utterly distressing it was to spend days watching someone fight for life. Even Kei, used to it as he was, far more than Arman was at least, was clearly running on his last reserves. That it was his beloved nephew, the child of his dearest friends, only increased the agony, and at times Arman didn't know who to worry about most. Karik, so pale, reduced so much by the infection and the constant pain, struggling to breathe and to make sense of a world distorted by fever hallucinations and desperate fatigue. Kei, trying to maintain a proper objectivity, but even as a healer, faced with terrible choices and knowledge of what could so easily happen. Or Jena and Reji, helpless to do anything but watch, at best, to offer a little comfort through Neka in the rare moments when Karik was both awake and lucid, torn by wanting to be with their son, and knowing that they might come to the city only in time to bury him. Kei had been firm in advising them to stay where they were, and when Arman spoke to them, he gave them the same advice, for all he knew how much it hurt them. They were already under enough stress. A useless journey would make things worse, and be of no benefit to their son.

Drugs seemed of little use, and Arman knew Kei took this as a personal failure, though it was impossible to know how much worse the infection would be without the mould dressings and the medicinal teas. Kei and his staff combed their records for anything that might help, knowing that time was against them. Kei cursed the fact that after so many years of research, they still had so few weapons in their armoury against life-threatening infections. Arman thought Kei was being far too hard on himself, but when it came to matters of healing, Kei didn't recognise the concept of being 'too hard'. It just needed more work and more brains, he said. The only thing that had not been tried was a possible treatment Pitis learned of from Master Jezinke. Kei asked Arman's advice. "What is it, another mould?" "No – this is an extract from a sea creature. A poison, in fact. Jezinke discovered by accident that it seemed inhibit infection in jombekers, but it has such marked side-effects that we’ve never dared use it in humans." "Side effects.... Like what?" "Paralysis, for one," Kei said, showing a grim face to Arman. "It causes a dangerously high temperature. Three animals died from the effects of the drug, one was left crippled from the damage to the brain and had to be put down." "But it works?" "We don't know, Arman – it's never been used on a human. Pitis is only suggesting it because if the infection spreads throughout Karik's body, he will almost certainly die." "Almost?" "A boy his age and in good health has the best chance of anyone. But the mortality is almost total." Kei's hand was shaking as he raised it to rub his forehead. Arman took it in his. "Then the drug...." "The drug will have to be administered before the infection takes complete hold. If it killed him, I would...."

"You would never know whether it was the drug or the infection," Arman said, completing his lover's thought. "And if it were the drug – or the drug could have saved him and I withheld it...." Arman put his arm around Kei's shoulder and squeezed him close, kissing his temple. "What do you think I should do?" "I have no right to say, Kei." "I'm asking you as someone who's laid his life on the line to help Karik before, Arman. If you were his father, what would you ask me to do?" He could push this question away, but Kei really needed him to answer it. "If I were the boy's father – which I am not, Kei – I would say if it comes to it, I would rather he died after we'd tried everything, than have that lingering doubt. But I would not want to cause the boy more agony or more harm, or have you have that on your conscience. I would support whatever decision you come to. I know Jena and Reji would – and I feel certain Karik would." "Then I think I dare not risk it. I can't use him to experiment on." Kei straightened up and looked towards the window, a muscle in his jaw jumping. "But I can't fail him either," he whispered. Arman knew there were no perfect answers in these situations. He wondered if Reji and Jena would ever appreciate how much of the agony of these matters Kei was absorbing, withholding from them to spare them. He wondered if Karik truly understood how beloved he was, and how desperately people needed him to live. The patient and his carers had the infirmary to themselves. What other patients there might have been were dealt with elsewhere, but it was, fortunately, a quiet time with no great demands being made on the staff. There was always another healer on duty, day and night, but Kei spent every waking moment at Karik's bed side, and like Arman, slept in the infirmary too. They had got into a pattern of sharing the nursing which meant Karik was never unattended for a moment, but even that couldn't entirely quell the boy's fears, his need for someone to hold him to this world. He spoke very little but his eyes said all that was needed. Arman found it almost unbearable to see the pain in them, the terror, but if he could not bear it, then it would be impossible for Karik to do so, so he had to bear it, had to be strong for the boy. Sometimes he felt that his voice was all that was keeping Karik alive, however foolish it seemed.

At last, on the evening of the ninth day, Kei seemed to think there was a little change. "He's cooler," he murmured, picking up one of Karik's hands and feeling his pulse. "That's good, isn't it?" "Not necessarily. Hush." Arman shut up while Kei checked the boy's pulse, and then did yet another thorough examination, finally lifting the dressings. Arman could tell nothing from Kei's intent expression. Finally Kei sat down and sighed. "Bad news?" Arman asked, almost afraid to. "No...no, it's not. It's just possible he's turned the corner, but I've been wrong before in such cases. He's definitely cooler, but his blood pressure seems normal." The next two hours were anxious ones, waiting for Karik to wake. He did so with a small cry as he moved and caught his injuries. Arman squeezed his hand, which he had been holding. "Easy there, son." As he always seemed to, Karik responded to Arman's voice and settled a little. It seemed to Arman that Karik's eyes looked somewhat more clear and lucid, though he was obviously in pain and little rested. Kei? I'm here, Ka-chi. Karik stared at him as he'd forgotten what he was going to say. Kei began to examine him again, and the boy dozed off again as he checked him. Well? Kei looked at him. Yes. Yes, I think he's improved. Arman could have hugged Karik, just out of sheer gratitude for the relief in Kei's eyes, but also for Karik's own sake. You still look worried. Because anything could happen, Arman. Just because he's beaten this infection, doesn't mean he won't get another. The fact he's beaten this is a good sign, but he's still sick. Arman looked down at the boy in his arms. He weighed almost nothing, it felt like. He was grimacing in his sleep. I've got a good feeling about it, Kei. My

instincts for a fight are as good as yours as a healer. I think we might win this one. Kei leaned over and kissed Arman, then caressed Karik's cheek. Then I hope your instincts don't fail us this time. He couldn't have done it without you, I'm sure of that. Look at how he trusts you. Come on, I'm hardly going to brutalise him under these circumstances. Kei gave him a knowing look. No, of course not. Are you all right with him? I was going to get an early night and spell you after midnight. I'm fine. Sleep as long as you want. We'll be all right. He laid Karik down carefully, and tucked the sheet around him gently. Well done, lad. Well fought.

Chapter 11 Karik almost couldn't remember what it was like to breathe deeply without the grabbing pain in his chest and his gut, the sense of not being able to get enough air, the weakness that made fighting the agony impossible. He had spent days, he had no idea how many, wracked with fever and pain, waking after too little time asleep, to be given tea, a little soup and pijn. He'd welcomed the pijn because it always meant he could rest, but Kei had said – when, he couldn't remember – that he was reducing it again. He supposed that had been a good sign, but he was sick of the pain. He opened his eyes. It was night still, the soft glow of a turned down lamp all that broke the darkness. Someone was there, head drooping, a book neglected in his lap. The golden hair told Karik it was Arman again, still, and that knowledge eased something in him – the nagging fear that he would die here in this hospital, dulled a little. He didn't know why, but Arman had become his talisman. If Arman was there, he would not die. Arman had said so and Karik believed him with every fibre of his body. He clung to that belief, like he'd clung to Arman's hand as the sharp, never-ending pain stabbed through him. He was thirsty, and cold too. "Ah-Arman?" Even that short whisper put a strain on his labouring lungs and he coughed. Gods, he wished he wouldn't cough, it pissing hurt. Instantly, Arman's head came up, the book was shoved onto the bed and his strong arm was under Karik's back, lifting him like Karik weighed nothing at all. Shhh, don't wake Kei. What do you need, son? Before all this, Arman had never called him that. I'm thirsty. Can you manage some tea? Karik grimaced. He was so damn sick of that revolting stuff and soup wouldn't quench his thirst. Just water? To his relief Arman agreed, and even managed to pour a cup without moving him. The sweet, fresh water was good, and he closed his eyes to savour it. At least he no longer choked when he swallowed. Arman, I'm cold. You still have a bit of a fever, Karik. We're not covering you up so you won't overheat. Still, Arman drew the sheet – not the blanket – a little higher, which was also good. How are you feeling?

Karik opened his eyes. In the dim light, he could barely see Arman's face, but what he could see of it, seemed to show nothing but kind concern. Like dried urs shit. His crudeness was rewarded by a smile, which was what he wanted. He was sick of people looking worried about him. What time is it? About an hour to dawn, I think. You've been asleep for two hours. You should get some more. He nearly pointed out that if he could stay asleep, he would – the pain just wouldn't let him. Arman helped him sip some more water, then brushed the hair off his face – it was finally growing again, he thought, just in time to be a damn nuisance while he was sick. Again. Had someone painted a target on him this year? He hated this sensation, being exhausted and weak, but not able to slip into sleep. It was a weird, twilight kind of feeling, where everything was dominated by the relentless pain. Kei had explained the pijn was bad for him, but the yusus tea hardly made any difference, whatever his mother had said. At least he wasn't hallucinating any more. That had really been horrible. Why don't I let you lie down again so you can try to sleep? He reached out and Arman took his hand. He was still trying to understand why Arman had willingly taken on this most tiresome of duties, when there were a dozen healers and twice as many medics within shouting distance who could have done the task. He couldn't see why Arman would bother. Not after...well, he'd made it clear what he thought of Karik before. I can't stay asleep, he said as Arman laid him down, while keeping a hold of his hand. Yes, I know. I was like that when I got hurt. What happened? Had Arman already told him about this? Everything had run together in his mind – Kei being with him, talking to his parents, Arman being with him, people checking him, feeling so sick, confused and in so much pain. He couldn't really remember what he'd heard and what he'd dreamed. Except Arman saying he would not die. He remembered that very clearly. It was during the war. A battle – my beast rolled on me and crushed me. Hurt like you wouldn't believe. Ouch. He was lucky not to have been killed. Oh yes. You and I will have matching scars.

Like father, like son. He looked up suddenly. He hadn't meant to think that 'out loud'. I'm sorry.... No need to be, Karik, Arman said mildly. You're doing much better, Kei says. Good thing too, you've had him very worried. Not you? Arman froze, and now Karik feared he really had gone too far. I would hardly have spent twelve days at your bed side if I cared nothing for your welfare. That was what Karik couldn't understand. But you.... If he'd been less tired, and perhaps if Arman hadn't just spent twelve days in tender vigil, he might have curbed his tongue, but instead he just blurted out the question that had been on his mind for so long. You gave me up, Arman. Why? Arman sighed and brushed his forehead again. You pick your moments, don't you? I...don't mean to be rude. No, I know. All things considered, I think you've been quite forbearing. I gave you up because I didn't think I was your biological father. He looked at Karik intently. You realise what I'm saying about your mother, though? Karik's mind was skittering about because of his fatigue, so he couldn't immediately work it out. No? She had a lover while we were married. This is...this is what I hadn't wanted to tell you, but it's the truth. And that is the reason I left her, not because of Kei. I went to Kei, yes, but I was going to leave her anyway. I don't understand – she told me she loved you but that you abandoned her.... He quailed slightly under Arman's fierce look. "'m sorry," he whispered, then began to cough. It was a bad fit, and Arman had to lift him up and let him sip more water before it stopped, and he was gasping with the pain of it before he stopped. Arman insisted he drink some of the tea the healer brought over to them, and he made himself swallow the damn stuff. He supposed it did seem to help a little. Arman laid him back on the pillows and shook his head. And this, Karik, is why this is a really bad time to be having this conversation.

I might die before we have it. You will not die, do you hear me? Arman looked so fierce. All right, Karik promised, rather overawed. He remembered what Kei had said about if Arman decided to fight on your side, you felt like you could do anything. Karik really believed Arman could haul him back from the very jaws of death, such was the power of his will. He was convinced the man had done just that over these last few days, when, in his few lucid moments, he had been convinced he really was dying. Why else would everyone look so worried? See that you do, Arman said, but now there was a slight smile on his face, and he just looked tired, not angry. Can't we do this when you're feeling stronger? I just want to know. Damnable boy. But there was no heat in his words, and his hand on Karik's was gentle in its grip. Karik, I'm not saying it's impossible that your mother was secretly in love with me. But our marriage was arranged by our parents, we barely knew each other before we got married, I never liked her, she never showed the least affection for me either, and she certainly had a lover because I found them together. Karik thought about this. Mekus? Mekus is my father? Arman's expression contorted with distaste. So I thought at the time. Now I believe that not to be true, but at the time I...took you away from Mayl, I believed it. I felt them to be unfit to raise you, but I felt equally unfit to do so. Jena offered to care for you, and I've never regretted that she did so. I can't believe you ever have either, Karik. Mayl...I'm truly sorry to say this to you, but she really didn't care a thing for you. Karik felt this had to be true, given all he knew, all he had experienced. But if you had left me with her, she might have done. She might have loved me just like Ma did. You shouldn't have done that. Do you always speak like this to your elders and betters, Karik? I'm sick, I'm off my head, I can say stuff and people will forgive me. To his secret delight, Arman laughed, although quietly so not to wake Kei, sleeping in the next bed. Gods, and I thought you were such a polite child.

I learned not to be in Utuk. Arman stroked his hair lightly – it was a curious gesture from him, but one that was also rather comforting. He liked it. Yes, I suppose you probably did. Do you really wish you had been brought up in that house? No, I didn’t think you did. I suppose there is some justice in what you are saying, and you are Mayl's son, her only child. It was cruel of me, I admit it, but at the time, she seemed less concerned about your welfare than how much money she could wring from me in a divorce. Tell me – if I had tried to take you from Jena, would she have let me? Ma would kill anyone who tried it with her bare hands. Quite, Arman said dryly. Mayl didn't even protest. So no one wanted me. Arman winced, and leaned closer. Karik...you were wanted, very much. Kei would have had you as his son in an instant. Jena fell in love with you almost the moment she first held you, and Reji is more proud of you than any biological parent can be. Don't make the mistake I made. Who fathered you, who was your mother, truly doesn't matter any more. Would you have raised me if you'd hadn't thought Mekus was my father? Arman hesitated. Yes, I probably would have, but that only proves that I really was unfit for the job. Jena hated Mekus as much if not more than I, and it never made a bit of difference to her. Karik found he was slipping down into sleep again – Arman's gently stroking of his hair was helping that along – but he had to ask one more thing before he let himself go. Should I call you Father now? I'm only your father under Prijian law. There is only one man with the moral or any other right to that title and that's Reji. It wouldn't be fair to encroach on it. Arman squeezed his hand, and brushed his forehead. Why don't we talk about this when you're better? I promise to answer your questions then. Karik had something he wanted to say to that, but before he could form the words, he lost the fight to stay awake, and slipped away into a deep and dreamless sleep.

After nearly two weeks on night duty, Arman's ability to doze lightly and come awake instantly was nearly as well-honed as it had been during his army days, so he knew when Kei shifted and stretched in the bed next to Karik's. He smiled at his lover as Kei opened his eyes – he was so soft and confused-looking that Arman would have swept him up for a kiss, if he hadn't been anchored to Karik by the boy's hold on his hand. Kei yawned and stretched again, then sat up. Hello. Did you have a good night? No, and it's all your fault. Kei immediately straightened, his face a mask of concern. Is there a problem...? Calm down, I'm being facetious. Oh. Kei got up and came over to examine Karik. The boy was sleeping peacefully at last. His colour was definitely better, and much cooler. It seemed to Arman that he was breathing rather more easily too, but he knew very well the pain of breathing with a stomach wound, and Karik's lung was still not fully healed. He had a way to go before he would be mended. He's still doing well – did he sleep much? Five hours or so? He says he can't stay asleep – is it the pain? Probably, and the tea may be having some stimulant effect – it does in some people, but the benefits outweigh that side effect. What did you mean about him not having a good night? Not him – me. Kei arched a graceful eyebrow at him and then took a seat at his side. You've taught him too well, Arman grumbled. Damn child answers me back just like his father does. The worry in Kei's expression eased and he grinned. And this surprises you? No, but it makes for a damn awkward conversation at four in the morning when you're discussing his real parentage. Ah...and it went...well? You're not angry, I can feel. So what did you tell him?

The truth, near as I could. I told him why I left Mayl, I told him about Mekus, and why I...why I'd given him up. Kei stroked his cheek. And how did he take that? With far more maturity than I would have credited him with, and a smart remark that was just like something Loke might have said. He smiled a little at the memory. But it's all your fault for giving him confidence. Not me. He's done it on his own, Arman. He's had the most difficult few months and it's been a forge that's tempered him well, I think. He's a lot tougher than he looks. He still looks like a child, but he no longer sounds like one. Seems like he's finally made an impression on you, Kei said, looking rather pleased, Arman thought. I've never been good with children, you know that. If someone talks to me as an equal, it's easier. Kei just raised his eyebrow again – Arman decided to ignore the implied scepticism. He said something that made me think – he said that I had no business telling him that Mayl cared nothing for him, because in taking him away from her, I'd prevented her forming a natural attachment. I can't really argue with that. I still think it's unlikely she'd have made a good mother, but I have only my antipathy towards her on which to base that. He's not disputing that she cares nothing for him, though. He seems to be looking at it sensibly, though how many of her lies he still believes, I don’t know. Kei brushed his hand along Karik's forehead. If I had to bet on it, I would say she would at least have made a far worse mother than Jena – but that's not to say she would not have loved Karik in her own way, or that, knowing no different, he would have been so very unhappy. I think he's got you on that one. What did you say? I pointed out that Mayl didn't protest my taking him from her but that doesn't really negate what he's saying. I refuse to feel guilty about it though. Since she married Mekus, and we know he's completely unfit as a father, I know Karik is better off where he is – and so does he. Still, he took me to task, and rightly. There, you see? And you were so determined he was going to be irrational and rude to you. He was rude – although perhaps no more than Reji is to me.

Kei's smile grew very bright, a relief to see after watching him agonise over Karik's condition for so long. And you're tough enough to take it. I'm glad you two talked. I wasn't expecting it so soon.... Nor I, Arman said dryly. The child can barely hold his head up and he was quizzing me like a Prijian lawyer. I'm not at my best, it's hardly fair. Now, don't whine, it's unbecoming to a man in your position. What did I say about not being at my best? Attacked on all fronts. He should just give up. Well, yes. And that's your cue to go eat, wash and get some sleep. Arman kissed Kei's forehead. "I really miss sleeping with you." It can't be helped, and I really think you're doing him a world of good. He trusts you. That's a very powerful thing when a patient is trying to heal. I know Jena is grateful. She says that if she and Reji can't be there, we make the very best alternative. High praise. He wondered if Jena was listening to this conversation too. He hadn't really considered that Neka and the other mind-speakers might be letting Jena use his eyes and ears. We don't, Arman, Neka said, breaking into his musings. For one thing, I don't want Jena awake all night, and for another, I'd ask first. I didn't want you feeling more uncomfortable with Karik than you need to be. I'm sorry, Neka. I should have realised you'd ask. I'm just tired. I know, she said with warmth in her voice. We know what you've done for him. It won't be forgotten. He thought he'd done very little really, and only the least he should do considering what he owed Karik and why the boy had been injured in the first place. "I'll see you shortly," he said, kissing Kei again. He needed sleep more than anything, but fresh air and sunlight were good too, so he collected bread and tea from the dining hall and took them outside to the garden. He wasn't alone – it was a sparkling, lovely morning after the rain overnight, and other people were out enjoying it, walking along the rows of shrubs and medicinal plants. It was days like this that made him glad to be alive.

His shoulders and back ached, an unwelcome reminder that he was no longer a young man – he needed to get some exercise. It was no worse, he supposed, than being stuck at his desk all day. It felt like it had been many weeks since he'd been in Andon, though it had not been a month since that he'd left Tsikiugui port, rugged up heavily against the freezing wind which held a hint of snow that still lay thick on the ground. It seemed like years since he'd been in Utuk. Mari and his brother had both written during his sojourn in Andon. The things they had carefully not mentioned worried him. He had not been back to his office to see what reports had come from Yuko – he feared the situation in Kuplik was more unstable than even he had seen. The army would not revolt under Blikus, whatever the Lord Commander thought of Kita or Mekus. But Blikus was nearly seventy, should have retired years before. If Mekus had a hand in the appointment of his successor, then whoever it was, was guaranteed to be the worst choice available. The Andonese were worried about the situation too. The entire nation had been mobilised to get the seaward defence system built because they were convinced that Kuprij was about to implode and that would encourage the marauders on more southerly islands to take their chances. Andon was well-prepared, but it was a battle it did not want to fight, nor did it want a flood of refugees from Kuprij. Arman sighed. Set against all that, getting one sixteen-year-old boy back on his feet was small beer, though over the last two weeks, designing strong seaward defences seemed a mere trifle compared with forcing a tired, fevered body to fight that which threatened to overwhelm it. And he'd been sitting like a lump for far too long and was running late. He made amends by fetching Kei breakfast to eat while Arman made his ablutions. Then he fell into the bed, and slept like a stone until just after noon. Karik was more tired than usual, it seemed to Arman, and once he was bathed, he fell asleep with more ease than he usually did. That'll teach him to crossexamine me in the middle of the night, Arman said, brushing back the unruly hair from the slack face. He needs his rest, that's for sure. I think in a day or so we can safely increase the dose of pijn again which will help him sleep better. There's still no sign of infection in the chest wound for which I am very grateful. I really think he's out of danger now.

Remembering Vikis' battle with a lung infection after the battle at Tirko Pass all those years ago, Arman shared Kei's gratitude. "Are you going to your office now?" "No, actually, I'm giving you the afternoon off. Go and have a walk, a swim even, and stretch your legs properly." Arman frowned at Kei. But what about you and what if Karik wakes up and finds me gone? He hadn't left the infirmary for more an hour at a time since Karik had been brought there, but on a number of occasions, he had returned and found a feverish boy anxious for his presence. It had been a small source of pride that even in the depths of his delirium Karik would gentle under his hands and his voice when even Kei sometimes could not reach him. Neither of them could fathom why, but as it had worked, Arman had been careful to stay within close call. Karik is well past that fretting, I think. If you wanted, we could make do with a medic to help him overnight.... No. This is my duty. I want to do it, Kei. All right, you can lose that stubborn set to your jaw, Arman, Kei said with a grin. If he becomes distressed, I can handle that since he's clearly rational again, and he can talk to Jena if he needs to. So off you go. You can bring me back a flask of beer from the inn, if you like. Have a proper break. You need it. As you wish. Kei was right of course – he was quite stale and his mind was foggy, and he had hardly had a moment's true relaxation in months. Though he wished he could have Kei's company, there was a liberating feel to being able to walk where he wished without a definite destination in mind, or companions. Lord Peika would probably not be amused to hear that Arman was out on his own, but he refused to have a guard set on him like a dangerous animal. If there were other Jiks out there, so be it. People had reason to hate the Prij and he was one of the main causes of that hatred, so he would face it if he had to. But for now, he walked alone along the sea front, in the opposite direction to the docks and around to the eastern side of the harbour where the wealthier citizens lived, and where there were gracious parks and gardens set against the sea for the populace to enjoy. There was a long sandy beach there, the only one on this side of the harbour, and where he and Kei had spent many a hot summer's evening cooling off. Being

early afternoon, it was less busy than it would be later when the work of the day was done and people brought their families down to relax at sunset. He stripped off unselfconsciously – what he would not do in the privacy of his home with Pira or other friends, he happily did on a public beach simply because it was the only practical option. Kei had teased him mercilessly about the inconsistency, of course, but Arman felt Kei could do with the fun. The water felt marvellous, invigorating, and he swam strongly out into the bay, well away from the weaker swimmers and the children, relishing the hard exercise, stretching cramped muscles, and letting his mind empty. He only stopped when he was nearly a mile from the shore, nearly as far as the large ships were crossing to their moorings. He used to swim like this in Garok when he visited the estate, but it had only been when he had come to Darshek that he had renewed his love affair with this form of exercise. Kei had had little experience of it, though he and the other children in the village swam in the waterhole in the worst of the summer heat. But it was nothing like this, swimming in cool, clean salt water, with no limit to how far he could go other than his own bodily strength. He swam a long circuit back to where he had left his clothes, then lay on the sand with a sigh. He could easily go to sleep now, he was so exhausted, but he needed to get back. He'd only had about five hours sleep a day since this had started, and he'd got used to longer rest than that. He was getting soft – his father got by on that little sleep and always had done. But his father was inimitable in many ways. Arman had really missed him since he'd come home from Utuk, and his first duty once he was freed from caring for Karik would be to write to him. He did not want to fritter away the closeness they had finally built up. He had no money on him, so he had to beg a flask of beer from the inn near the academy that Kei occasionally frequented, but on hearing it was for Master Kei, there was no problem about credit. He was even pressed to take two flasks, in case Kei should run short, but he declined. Arman was amused at the idea that as a Ruler, he might have been extended credit for his own sake, but not half as eagerly. Kei was helping Karik eat the bread and soup mixture which was his staple for the moment. "Ah, you look a little fresher." "I went for a swim. So should you, it would do you good." "Perhaps. I might wait until Ka-chi here can join me." The boy rolled his eyes at Kei for that. "Come on, Karik, it'll only be a month or so before you're racing me home again."

"Maybe a bit longer than that," Arman said quellingly, remembering how long it had taken for his own wounds to heal and for him to feel right again. How do you feel, Karik? The boy gave him a slight smile. Still tired. Better. Excellent. Karik dropped off to sleep again as soon as he had finished eating. Arman presented Kei with his beer and explained about the money. I need to give you an allowance, I think. Or the state should. Damn it, Arman, not to even have the coin to buy a beer for yourself. Normally you're with me and you carry the funds. Besides your name is as good as coin in this city. Yours will be soon enough. The Prijian Ruler is already famous. For all the wrong reasons, I fear. Will he really be healed in a month? Oh, I should think so. Perhaps not up to running, but the incisions will have easily healed. We can probably move him out of the infirmary soon – I was thinking of the Rulers' House, unless you object. No, it's an excellent idea. The apartments set aside for his use had been redecorated, and so far as Arman knew, were finally now ready for occupation. There were two bedrooms, a proper office and a front room – much more space than they normally needed, but Karik could be put in the second bedroom in comfort, and be close to medical help should he need it. And Arman and Kei could, thank the gods, share a bed again. If Kei thought they wouldn't be making love because the boy was in the other room, then he had better think again. He needed to touch Kei like that again. And what evil are you plotting? "Just complete moral turpitude." "Oh good, my favourite," Kei said, kissing Arman quickly, and sliding his arm around Arman's waist. It was blessedly peaceful, sitting there with Kei, for once without the constant strain of worry. Once Kei decided Karik was out of danger he had looked years

younger. Arman didn't know how Kei would have coped with Karik's death and was more grateful than words could express that Kei had been spared it. Arman had missed this more than the sex. Just talking to Kei, holding his hand – here, he wasn't Lord Arman, and Kei wasn't the Master of Healers, it was just them, the way it had been for so long. If there was anything he regretted about moving to Darshek, it was that such times were rare. Living in Ai-Albon had been easy and there had been plenty of time to talk, to kiss, to take long walks together. But it had been a dead end for them, and Kei had a great future ahead of him at the academy. Everyone had known that – Lord Meki certainly had – and so, inevitably, they had come in search of it. They had both achieved so much, but the price had been high. Looking at Karik, Arman wondered if the boy really knew the price he too would pay if he followed the path Kei had mapped for him. Being apart from one's family and clan ate deeply into the soul of a Darshianese, and even with the hostility Karik had faced from a minority of villagers, the clan still claimed him as their own. What Kei was proposing was a hard, lonely life. To look at the boy, so slight and rather frail as he seemed now, it seemed impossible he would be hardy enough. But as Neka had said, there had to be a core of toughness in him to have withstood all he had. This last week had proved that. And if Kei was right, then Karik also had a glittering future ahead of him. Arman admitted to being curious to know if he would achieve it. The duty healer was lighting the lamps – was it that late already? "I'd best fetch our supper," Kei murmured. "You look so earnest. What is it?" "Nothing, really. Just thinking about choices and paths." "Hmmm, deep stuff. Too deep for a simple healer like me." "You're no more a simple healer than I'm a jombeker, Kei." Of course his lover had to give him a cheeky grin and earn himself a slapped bottom before he dashed out of the infirmary to find their food. 'Simple, my arse,' Arman thought, smiling at Kei's disingenuousness.

It was probably the fact that Karik had got so much sleep during the day which made him so wakeful after midnight. Arman watched him shift about

uncomfortably for a bit, and then offered to help him sit, since it was obvious he wasn't going to go back to sleep anytime soon. He seemed almost normal, at least compared with how ill he had been so recently, and certainly more wide awake than Arman. What Arman wouldn’t give for ten hours of uninterrupted sleep in a proper bed – he felt light-headed with fatigue. You want to hope your sleep patterns return to normal once you're healed, or you'll be unpopular at home, he said, helping the boy to sit up. That will make a change, Karik answered dryly. It's not all that bad, surely. You've got friends there, and this latest incident isn't the normal run of events. Karik looked away. There were people who were glad I'd been hurt. People who wished Jos had killed me. Surely not, Karik. Not in Ai-Albon. There are no murderers there. There nearly was. Fedor said so. Fedor shouldn't have said such a thing in front of the boy, Arman thought angrily, creating fear and ill-feeling where none should exist. Boys can be cruel. They grow out of it, mostly. Some don't. Some of the people who dislike me only saw the Prij when they were small children. Even though they've known me all my life, when it comes to it, I'm just another filthy foreigner. It was a bitter observation, and Arman wished it hadn't had to be made by one so young, but he couldn't argue against it. There are stupid people in all races, Karik. Most of the people in the village are good people, I've known them as long as you, and I value them. I can't believe they're not sickened by what happened to you. Karik didn't say anything to that. He picked at the bandage on his arm a little – Arman wondered if it was hurting him. Kei had said the wound was healing well, though it would leave a nasty scar and the arm would be weak until Karik began to use it again. Why don't you lie down again, see if you can sleep? I just don't feel sleepy. I'm sorry. It's hardly your fault. The tea has that effect, apparently.

Karik nodded. Arman wondered just how much of the medical details he understood – not only was he Jena's son, he apparently read medical texts as freely as any healer, or so Kei had reported. The child was decidedly odd in some respects. Arman, Kei says the man who stabbed me was from Ai-Darbin, but he said to ask you about it. Why did he want to hurt you? Arman had been expecting the question, but it didn't make it easier to talk about this, and he wished again the boy would wait until life had returned to normal. He was too tired for such conversations in the middle of the night. Because I killed his son, and so he thought he would kill me. Karik's large eyes were so reminiscent of another's that Arman almost wished he could tell the boy to close them. Why? Why did you kill him? Does it matter? It was wrong to kill the boy, and I deserve the consequences whatever that might be. However, you should not have had to pay such a price. Karik gripped his hand. Why? If he didn't answer, Karik would just keep asking, he knew. "Because he killed a friend of mine. The son did, I mean. The boy was only your age, and I...I pulled my sword, made his mother and father watch, and killed him. And all I could think was that he died too easily. I wanted to kill him again and again...." He closed his eyes, remembering that day. Of all the people he'd killed in battles, the death of that boy – the last person he'd killed – remained with him. He remembered how cold he'd felt – not just emotionally, actually physically chilled. The boy had felt warm against him and all he could think was that he shouldn't be warm when Loke...Loke was already cold. He was shivering now, and he had no idea why. Arman? "I'm sorry..." Arman, please? He made himself open his eyes. Karik was staring at him with concern. Where was his revulsion, his rejection? "Did you hear what I said?" "Yes." It was barely a whisper, little more than his lips moving to form the word. Who was he, your friend? A soldier? No, Loke was...he was my page. A personal servant. My friend.

How old was he? What was he like? Arman wished the boy would go back to sleep. He rubbed his eyes. "He...was your age, a month or two older, no more. He was...." Slightly to his astonishment, he found he simply couldn't continue. "I'm sorry," he whispered, standing and walking out of the room, eyes blinded and his chest so tight he couldn't breathe. He leaned against the wall in the corridor and slid down it, burying his face in his knees, all rational thought lost in the tide of grief and memory. He had tried so hard to save Loke.... They had saved Karik, why had Loke had to die? Only a few moments later, careful arms slipped around him and slowly the pain in his mind began to lessen, and his chest eased. He could take no credit of course. It was Kei doing this for him yet again. "I'm sorry." "I'm not even going to dignify that with a comment," Kei said, stroking his hair and kissing it. "I've been waiting for this to happen." "I don't know what came over me. I should go back...apologise...." "In a minute. I was listening to you, you know. I woke up and heard you talking. Why do you persist in trying to make people hate you over that?" "Because I murdered that boy, I caused Loke's death and now I've nearly been the cause of Karik's. Even in Utuk, a man died because of me. I'm a menace." Kei's arms tightened. "Then I suppose this is the wrong time to tell you that Jik's dead too. I heard this morning while you were asleep." Arman's head jerked up. "What? How?" "Suicide. He hung himself. They had taken precautions, but...he was determined." Gods, what a lonely bitter end to a lonely bitter life, and it was Arman's fault entirely. He suddenly felt so weary, he could have lain down and wept. "Why won't the pain stop?" he murmured. "It will if you turn your pain into something else. I think you are doing that with what you're doing with Karik."

"Kei...this is going to sound an odd question, but has anyone ever recognised when a spirit has returned in a new body?" Kei shifted back a little so Arman could see him. There was only a single lamp some distance away, so his lover's face was in shadows. "Not that I know of, though I've hardly made a study of it. There are stories that the great Gifted soultouchers can sense the spirits who have not left this plane, who are trapped here for some reason or other, and there are those like Master Bikel who believe the gift of soul-touching is deeply connected with the spirit world...but the answer is that I don't know." "You said Loke would find me again in his next life. You believe that?" "With all my heart and soul." There was such certitude in Kei's voice, it was almost like piety. "It's just...Karik was born not long after, and he reminds me of Loke just now and...I wondered...." "Answer me this – if you thought he was, would that mean you would only value him for that?" Arman wiped his face, rubbed his itchy eyes. "No. He's clearly not Loke as Loke was. Yet there is something there that I can't explain, and since there is no biological connection.... I'm being an idiot, aren't I?" These were just the kind of foolish maunderings a weary, emotionally overwrought man might come out with at two in the morning. Kei stroked Arman's hair again. "This is a mess, let me remake it." There wasn't the slightest reason for Kei to be rebraiding his hair, sitting on the floor in a dark corridor in the middle of the night, but Arman let him, the familiar intimacy soothing him and helping him feel more settled and calm. As he worked, combing out the thick mass of Arman's hair with his fingers, Kei spoke quietly. "It's possible. Anything is possible. And...perhaps it explains some puzzling things." He paused to kiss the back of Arman's neck. "I think you might have rejected him becoming close to you because of what happened to Loke. The rest.... Well, we're all reincarnations, every living thing holds the spirit of something or someone who died before. If Loke did come back so soon and in this way, then I think it was because he wanted to be close to you and to make sure you were happy." "And all I've done is push him away...."

"Arman, you can't ever know whether Karik is Loke." Arman nodded, then leaned back against Kei, who put his arms around him again. He'd missed this, with all the stress of looking after Karik. "I spoke to Mari about him when I was in Utuk. I told her how much I wished I had seen him grow up.... Karik's just at the same age. In a couple of months, he will be older than Loke was when he died." Kei rested his face against Arman's head, nuzzling it a little in a way that made Arman ache to lie with him. "Wyma said there was a shadow on your soul after you got back from Utuk. I think it has to be something to do with the breach with Karik. I told him that I thought the problem between you was that he represented failure for you. Maybe the truth is that he represents dreams that you thought were crushed when Loke died and Mayl betrayed you." He made Arman turn around. "He doesn't have to represent crushed dreams. He can represent hope. Healing. Forgiveness," he added gently, kissing Arman's forehead. "If you want it, Karik can show you the things you longed to see with Loke. Somewhere, in someone, Loke is living again, is happy, is giving joy. If Karik can represent that new life for Loke, then let him. The pain can become something better, Arman. I know you can make it happen because you already have." Arman so wanted to take comfort from Kei's words, but he couldn't just wipe away his sins so easily. "How can you talk of hope and love when yet another man is dead because of me?" "Because this wheel of violence has to stop," Kei said in a firm, quiet voice that seemed to brand Arman's soul with its certainty. "Karik's life could have taken any number of courses. You intervened, set it on a true and honest path and now you and he are tied by that. He's waiting for you now, Arman. He's worried about you and needs you. I know you well enough to know you respond to both those things with the best of you." He gave Arman's braid a little tug. "So go to him, and be open in your heart. Stop pushing him away. You'll find the reward is worth it." Arman turned to face his lover again. "You're such a determined matchmaker, Kei. I don't think anyone can hold out against you." Kei's teeth flashed white in the gloom. "Not a one, so admit defeat." He pulled Arman close and brushed his lips across Arman's forehead. "Go speak to him, and then I'll take the rest of the night shift. You're overtired, and he's not in danger any more. I'll start arrangements tomorrow to move him out of here – I think he'll be happier and I know you will be."

"I really don't know why this upset me now," he said as he got to his feet with Kei's arm to assist him, "it's not like I haven't been thinking about Loke before tonight." Gods, he was getting old. "Because it's what you do, " Kei said, putting his arms around his waist again. "You feel things passionately, but you wait to deal with them until it's safe and no one will suffer for it. You did the same thing when Loke died, Karus too, and you waited until Karik was out of danger before you let the memories get to you. You're actually very strong. It's frightening." "I don't feel very strong right now." "Oh, well, that's middle of the night syndrome for you – it makes cowards and weaklings of us all. Go on," Kei said, giving him a gentle shove. "Make your peace with him and then go to bed. It'll be all right." "Don't deserve you." "Too bad," Kei said with an impish grin. "You're stuck with me. Go on." Arman did as he was told, for Kei was king of this domain, and besides that, always right when it came to matters of the heart, except perhaps of his own. He found Karik straining to sit up, obviously as worried as Kei had said, and ignoring the efforts of the duty healer to make him calm down. "It's all right, I've got him," Arman said, putting his hand on the man's shoulder, and switching places with him. "Lie back, Karik, that can't be good for you." The boy did so, then stared up at him with those disconcerting eyes, gnawing at his lip. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Arman put his hand on Karik's forehead, pushing back the hair, a gesture intended to soothe and reassure, though which of them needed it more, he didn't know. No, I know. You meant no harm, and no harm was done. I just didn't realise...I didn’t know about your friend. No, you wouldn't have done. It's just...these past few days have reminded me of a grief that...well, I suppose one never entirely stops grieving for those we love. Now, I want you to go to sleep, and tomorrow if you're up to it, I think it's time I introduced you to one of the more pleasurable aspects of our heritage. Karik looked puzzled. Our...heritage?

Indeed, for you are Prijian and so am I, and there's no need to be ashamed of that. Tomorrow I will teach you the gentle art of kezi, and perhaps...as we play, I'll tell you more about Loke. A game? Arman couldn't help but grin as he recalled what Karik's namesake had said, the first time he had laid the board out for a curious and puzzled ten-year-old boy. A game only so much as life is a game, he quoted from memory, and therein one can learn all the secrets of mastering both. He stroked Karik's forehead as he stood – Kei was watching them from the doorway. Sleep well, Karik. I'm sorry to have frightened you. I didn't want to hurt you. And you did not. It's all right. He took the boy's hand, squeezed it and gestured to Kei. All yours. Kei kissed his cheek, love and approval in his eyes. If Arman had not been so utterly exhausted, he might have stayed awake just for the pleasure of having Kei sit with him. You could be good for each other, you know. We'll see. Good night.

Karik still couldn't sleep and as Kei took his seat in the chair where Arman had spent so long watching over him, he reached out his hand to his uncle. I'm sorry, Kei. He had had no idea that Arman would cry in front of him, and certainly not that he, Karik, could cause it. It's all right, Karik. In a way, I'm glad. This sadness over Loke is an old wound, one that never healed right. I have a feeling you might be the cure he needs, if you will allow it. He really loved Loke? Kei's kind eyes, shadowed in the dim lamp light, looked sad. Oh, he certainly did. But my mo...Mayl...said it was Arman's fault he died.

Yes, and she also said Arman was sleeping with Loke, and that I was while I was a hostage. None of that is true, Karik. I know she doesn't love Arman, but at least Arman's never put lies like that out about her. Karik considered that. He had no proof Kei was telling the truth, any more than he had that Arman had been – but he had to admit their actions and words were more consistent than his mother's, and he also trusted Kei. He already felt he couldn't really trust Mayl. But he really killed a boy? A boy like me? Yes, he did. He's never made a secret of it, Karik. He committed a terrible crime out of grief and pain, and has spent all these years making up for it. Unfortunately, not only could the boy's father never forgive him, neither can Arman himself. You understand how...how this situation bring it all to his mind again. I remind him of Loke, don't I. Yes, you do. You're even injured a little like Loke was. He watched him die in agony, helpless to save him or ease him, Karik. I can't tell you what that does to a person. Kei's hand tightened on his. I didn't know. Kei, when I'm better, will he go back to hating me again? Kei smiled. Oh, I doubt it. Unless you want him to? You seem to be getting on pretty well now. Because I'm sick and because.... He gestured weakly at his mouth. No stutter. Well, that helps, but it's not really the thing that's kept him from getting to know you. You know it all now, pretty much. It's up to you whether you want to get closer to him or not. I think he's ready to move past all the pain you remind him of. Do you want to? He didn't let me die. He brought me home from Utuk. You saved his life. I think you're even on that score. Is that all he is to you? He says he's not my father, doesn’t want me to call him that. I don't know what he is any more, Kei. Whatever you want, Karik. Your lives are joined by decisions he made, but you are free to walk away if you choose. You and I will always be friends, I swear

that. Karik stared at his uncle. Kei was telling him it was all right to dislike his lover – but the irony was, he no longer did. He just wasn't sure Arman wasn't being so self-sacrificing because Karik had saved his life, and that the moment he was back on his feet, the man wouldn't turn all cold and harsh once more. Kei rested a gentle hand on his forehead. Now, enough. It's very late, we're both tired. I'm going to sit here but I'm going to nap because you're going to be asleep. If you need me, you can wake me up but you are going to become a diurnal mammal again, young man. Yes, Master Kei, Karik said meekly. There's a good lad. Karik saw him looking longingly at the bed where Arman was lying, facing away from them. Go on. Eh? Go and join him. I'll be asleep and Wika's over there. Go on. Kei's brow wrinkled. I shouldn't.... Kei...he needs you more than I do right now. Kei brushed Karik's hair away from his face – tiresome stuff that it was. All right. Thank you. Karik waved him away. It wasn't like they would be hard to get hold of if he needed them, and really, he was sick of feeling like a burden. Good night, uncle Kei. Good night, nephew mine. Try to sleep.

Chapter 12 Whether he actually needed not to be watched, or whether it was because he was feeling the benefit of his good deed, Karik actually managed to sleep through until dawn. The pain was definitely less, although still definitely there, but he no longer felt cold, and felt altogether more like himself than he had done since that day when he had stepped in front of an angry man's knife. Wika saw he was awake, came over and checked him in silence, then helped him to some water. At least people had stopped trying to force that horrible tea down his neck. Kei had promised he might even be allowed some real food soon, which would be nice. The pap he had been eating since he had begun to eat anything at all was getting rather monotonous. When Wika left him alone, Karik looked over at the bed beside him, and had to smile. Kei and Arman were entwined like children, with Arman holding Kei tightly to him like he was afraid he might lose him off the edge of the narrow bed. They both looked tired and rumpled, but somehow content. Karik wouldn't disturb them for anything. He thought of his mother, about how much he missed her, and was startled to suddenly hear her voice in his head. Karik? Ma! What are you doing up? It's not that early, dear. Your father's had a sick animal we've been looking after. How are you feeling? Better. I want to get up, but Kei hasn't said when I can. Well, ask him. Where is he? Karik looked, so his mother could see where Kei and Arman were lying, still fast asleep. Ah, I see, she said, amusement clear in her voice, things have changed since I did my training. Is anyone else there at all? Wika's here. Kei and Arman have been up all night with me. I thought they could do with some rest. They certainly could do, I think. Karik, your Pa was thinking of leaving any day now to come up and get you. How do you feel about that? I don't know when I can travel.... Now he thought about it, he found he wasn't in any hurry to leave, though whether it was because he felt he'd been cheated out

of his time in Darshek or because he didn't want to face hostile villagers while he was still recovering, he wasn’t sure. Can't I come back with Kei? Oh. Yes, I suppose so. I just thought you'd want to come home. Kei wasn't going to come back until nearly the night of the ancestors. That's three months away. I know.... Karik felt a sudden rush of homesickness, and wished he could hug his Ma and get a hug from her. When is Pa coming up again? In a month, if he doesn't leave soon, though he could send the load with Pia's uncle coming up from Ai-Tuek. You could go back with him, if you wanted to and were fit. Pa shouldn’t make a trip just for me, Ma. You'd be all on your own. I'm fine up here. They're looking after me really well. Yes, I know. Remind me to thank them for the small matter of saving your life. You're making a habit of worrying me to death, young man. I know, I'm getting sick of it too. Ma – what do you think of Arman? I mean, apart from Kei? Do you like him for himself? Now that's an odd question at this time of the morning. Did something happen between you two? We've just been talking when I woke up a couple of times in the night. He told me about...about Mayl and things. I think I understand why he gave me to you now. Good, it's about time he spoke to you, she said firmly. As for your question...I like him. I'd like to murder him sometimes, because he can be a real arse, but he always means well. I tell you this, Karik. If he's your friend, then he will move heaven and earth to help you and those who are precious to you. Your father and I owe him a lot, not least you. It sounds more like you're grateful than that you like him for himself. There's a bit of that, but I do actually like him. If you can get behind all that stiff pride of his, he's just a big, soft romantic. Not that I expect that to appeal to you, she added, and he could just see her grin. He spoke to her a bit longer about the sick animal, and the small amount of village gossip. She questioned him a little on his health, though he knew she

would have the information in much greater detail from Kei. I'm going to let you go now, Ka-chi. But you can speak to me any time, you know that. Yes, Ma. She'd spoken to him several times while he'd been so ill, but he couldn't remember much of anything specific about most of the conversations. He'd been grateful to have felt her presence with him, and to know he had only to 'call' and she was there to comfort him. He must have worried them all a good deal. Tell Pa I miss him. Tell him yourself later, Karik. If you really aren't coming back soon, then you can still talk to us this way. I know. I love you, Ma. And I love you, my dear son. Tell Kei to give you a kiss from me later. Sure, he agreed, smiling. As if he would do anything of the kind. He felt her close their connection, and sighed. He missed home so much. He was wide awake and outside the window he could hear the birds enjoying what promised, from the bright early sunshine, to be a lovely day. He longed to go outside again. He longed to get out of this pissing bed. And he really, really wished his side would stop hurting him. How long was this going to take? He was so sick of being sick. He stretched a little and looked over at the other bed again. He was startled to see Arman's blue eyes looking back at him. Uh, good morning. Good morning, Karik. How do you feel? Karik shrugged. Same – better. I wish I could get up. You might not be so eager once you actually stand, let me tell you. Arman brushed Kei's cheek. Thank you. It meant a lot to me. There's no need for you two to sit watching me. You should both go back to your work. He saw Arman's eyebrows lift in surprise. I thought you wanted us by you. He shifted in discomfort – Arman sounded prickly again. It was good while I was really sick. But I'm just one patient, and Darshian needs its Rulers. Kei has more things to worry about than me.

Darshian very nearly lost one of its Rulers except you saved his life. It can manage perfectly well until you are recovered. Karik looked down, away from Arman. It's all right now. I'm grateful for what you've done, he added formally. As you wish. I won't impose upon you. It's up to Kei whether he feels he can hand your case onto another. I don't make those decisions for him. Karik nodded, still not looking at Arman. It was as he suspected. As soon as Karik no longer needed his assistance, the older man was eager to get away. Which only made sense, really – after all, why would he prefer to sit at a sickbed when he could be administering the affairs of state? He heard a yawn and looked back to see Kei moving and stretching, smiling as he saw Arman's face and then looking over at Karik. "Ah, you're awake. Please tell me you slept through." "I...did." He kept his voice quiet because he didn't want to start coughing, but it seemed just a little easier to breathe this morning. "Excellent. You never know, this being awake during the day, sleeping at night thing might just catch on, what do you think, Arman?" "I think when you're sick, you sleep when your body tells you to, but once you're better, you can arrange things more conveniently for everyone else." He sat up, and Kei came with him, still yawning. "Why don't I order breakfast for you, and then I should go back to the House. I have things that need doing." Kei stopped yawning and looked at his lover in surprise. Nothing was said, but Karik felt they might be talking in their heads. He wondered how long Neka would keep up this very convenient link for them all, now he was so much better. Arman rose. "I'll send someone along with your food," he said to Kei, kissing him. "I'm pleased you're so much improved, Karik. Good day to you." And then he walked out of the infirmary. Kei stared in the direction Arman had taken, shook his head, then got up to come to Karik's bedside. He made his usual meticulous checks, then sat. "What did you say to him to pull his tail?"

"N...nothing." He started to cough. Kei sighed and signalled to the healer who had taken over from Wika to bring some of the damn tea. Karik sipped it, pulling a face. Well? I just told him that since I was so much better, there wasn't any reason for you two to spend all your days and nights with me, and that as a Ruler he surely had more important things to do. "Oh, Karik...." Kei shook his head again. "What are you doing? Do you want to push him away?" He...got all cold and stiff with me again. Before or after you dismissed his services? Kei was giving him a hard look now, and Karik was forced to examine what he had actually said to Arman. After.... Well then. You sent him away like a servant, and Arman, being a proud man, quite uncertain of how to deal with you or how he feels about you, reacted as he always does when he's trying to protect himself. I thought you were so smart, Karik, his uncle said in exasperation. If you don't want to make friends with Arman, then say that plainly to him. But don't toy with him. He's fragile right now. I thought you understood that after last night. I'm sorry, Kei. What should I do? Try making your mind up, for a start. And then be as honest with him as you want him to be with you. But for now, we've got other things to think about. "For one thing, if you are ever going to get out of here, you have to become mobile. I want you to start by sitting up as long as you can bear it today, and tomorrow, we're going to try letting you walk. It's going to hurt like all hells, I promise you. And I want you to stop using mind-speech. I know talking makes your lung hurt, but you need to get used to that too. Just take things slowly, you'll be fine." "All...right. Kei...." He stopped to cough, but sipped some of the cooling tea. "I'm s-sorry." "Don't be sorry, just fix it." But then Kei ruffled his hair. "It'll be all right. Now, after breakfast, we'll give you a wash. Since you've declared you don't need me dancing attendance on you, I'll take you at your word, and bring some of my

work in here. What do you want to do to amuse yourself? I've had repeated requests from certain people to visit you, do you think you would like that?" "Seiki?" "Seiki, Reis, your student friends – heavens, what a social life you've built up for yourself." Kei seemed to have recovered his habitual good humour. "I take it you wouldn't object?" "No." "Very well. And a few books?" Karik nodded eagerly – he was so behind on the reading he wanted to do. "Then I'll have someone bring some later." As he ate breakfast, Karik thought about Kei's insistence that he had to make his mind up about Arman. He thought he had, really, but when Arman had seemed to revert to his usual cold demeanour, Karik had retreated in defence. Like fighting thurls, he thought sardonically – each putting up the defence before any attack had happened. This time, it wasn't Arman's fault. He would fix that when he saw the man again. Kei pronounced himself delighted by the progress of the wound healing, and left the bandages off Karik's arm completely, though it wasn't yet fully mended. As soon as it was, Karik would need to do strengthening exercises on it – he was going to have more scars on an arm already marred by earlier violence. "Kei, wh-what...?" Damn cough. "Wh-what happened to....the man...who hurt me?" Kei wouldn't look at him as he continued dressing the wound in his chest and stomach. "He was taken to the prison island for his own protection and that of the city. I'm sorry to say that he died two days ago." Karik started violently. "D-died?" He nearly spilled the water he was holding. Kei put his hand over Karik's to keep it steady. "Keep calm. Yes, died. He took his own life. Nothing to do with you. He wasn't right in the head, just as we thought. Hadn't been for a long time. I'd hoped to help him but he was probably beyond any saving. At least I hope he is at peace now, and soon will be reborn to be reunited with his wife and son." Karik could only stare in horror. I never meant him to die. I just wanted him to not to hurt Arman.

"Karik, you did the right thing. I suspect he came up here with the intention of dying. Don't be distressed, lad. It's a miserable business, but you weren't the cause of it." He must have been in lot of pain.... Yes, it's a tragedy, no doubt about it. "But put that behind you. Don't borrow sadness. Jik is past his agonies now, and nothing can be done for him. If he'd succeeded in killing you or Arman, then he would be paying a greater price in the next life than he will do now. At least murder did not stain his soul." Not for want of trying, Karik thought. He sensed his uncle wanted to be sorry for Jik, but was angry at what he had attempted, which was understandable. "Voice only now, please." "All right." But he continued to be troubled by the fate of that sad, crazy man, and to wonder how two separate men had been driven to murder from grief in that way. He hoped he would be spared that pain for a long time, if a man as strong as Arman could be made insane by it.

Arman forced himself not to dwell on Karik's dismissal, abrupt and unexpected though it was. The boy had no reason to want his company for its own sake, after all, and what did Arman care for the regard of a child? He returned to the Rulers' House for a wash and change of clothes, then ate his breakfast in his office, looking over what paperwork and reports had been left for his attentions. There wasn't anything like as much as he feared – Peika had been as good as his word, lifting the burden from his shoulders and sharing it among the other Rulers, as was only efficient. To be truthful, Arman found it hard to concentrate, his thoughts drifting back to the infirmary, though he told himself sternly that the boy was in no more danger, and thus in no need of his concern any more. Kei had matters in hand. Arman was not needed. He put his robes on, then stepped along the corridor to Lord Meki's office. Naturally despite the early hour, the elderly Ruler was already there working – he was utterly incorrigible. "Arman, I didn't expect to see you back so soon. Is the boy out of danger?" "Indeed, and well on the path to a full recovery so I'm back at my duties."

"Hmmm. Well, there's no hurry, you know. You left things in such good order, and your reports were remarkably thorough as always. You can afford to take more time away." "Perhaps, but it's not necessary. If Kei and I are to take our usual break, then I want to earn it." Lord Meki shook his head. "You'll end up like me, see if you don't. Very well, if you insist, there is something I'd like your opinion on." Arman spent a good two hours with Lord Meki looking over the plans for a new quarry in the west, which would need roads and defences. The economics looked less than sound and they debated that, resolving to ask for more reports from the miners before making a decision. As they worked, Arman was pleased to see that his companion was actually taking it easier. They stopped for refreshment, he got up and walked around, and when they were done, Lord Meki suggested they sat in the garden in the fresh air. It was a more leisurely pace than he had ever seen the older man work at before, and he was glad, since the regime was clearly having an effect. He knew Kei had got the man taking gentle exercise in Lord Peika's swimming bath, and Lord Peika had been roped in to assist in making Lord Meki spend more time out of the office. "Now, tell me, is this young man up to a visit, do you suppose?" "I don't know, but Kei will. You're surely not planning to...." "Indeed I am. More than that, we are all resolved to make an official award to him for his bravery in saving your life. It is no small thing for a child to risk danger that way, and when it is to save a Ruler, the society should show its thanks." Arman frowned. "But I was attacked because I murdered that man's son, Meki. It's hardly appropriate to celebrate the consequence of my crime." "We're not," Lord Meki said. "We're celebrating the courage of one of our young people. If he had saved that man's son from you, then we would probably do the same." "If only he had," Arman said heavily, "though since I'm better at killing, Karik would be dead, not merely wounded." "You seem rather gloomy, Arman. Perhaps you need more of a break than you think you do."

"Kei's convinced you taking it easy is a good thing, so now you prescribe it for everyone?" "I recall prescribing it before you a good while ago, young man, don't be impertinent." Arman essayed an ironic bow. "Begging your lordship's pardon." "Oh, don't be a nitwit, Arman, it's unbecoming. Now, I'll let you get back to your work. I'm going to lie down until lunch. If you're free, we can eat together, but if you're not here, I'll assume that you're busy." "Certainly." Arman smiled as he let Lord Meki to go back to his own office. It was good to see his friend in such good heart. Clearly he was still needed by some. Gods, didn't he sound like a brat? More like a love-sick fool whining because his intended had cast him off. Karik had not the slightest reason to like him, considering how Arman had behaved before he'd been hurt. In fact the surprising thing was that the boy had tolerated his company at all. Kei's fanciful ideas were just that – fancy. Karik could not replace Loke. No one could. But that led him down paths of memory in which he usually tried not to lose himself, but which today he seemed to have no power to resist. For once, he wasn't thinking about that last day with Loke. Instead, he recalled Loke's devastatingly polite wit, the way he could make a seemingly innocent remark which was actually a deadly insult. He must have honed himself on the rough edges of Mayl's servants, Arman thought, for how else could a sensitive child like that have coped with such thugs. Karik was doing the same, Arman thought. Developing a sharp brain as armour against the attacks of the stupid bigots he would always encounter. Stupid bigots like him, Arman thought. He always missed Loke but now, particularly, he wished he could hear his friend's amusing commentary in his always cheerful voice. Like his mother, he had never been really unkind, but neither had he been blind to the cruelties of the world. What if he had lived, Arman wondered? Would he have lost that? He had said he had not wished to marry, but would he have found a wife who could have matched him, given him happiness. Perhaps Loke had not been interested in women. Arman surprised himself with that idea. He'd never really thought about that to now, but now he did, he realised that Loke had never once shown the slightest sign of attraction to the female form. Perhaps the children Arman had

fancied he could have had, might never have been, just as Arman would now never be a father. He laid the pen down that he'd been holding forgotten in his hand, and looked out the window to the garden. Loke's children. His own. Pipe dreams, fancies. Hopes unfulfilled – but were they crushed, as Kei had said? What would his legacy be? Tijus' children would remember him, but none would carry his blood line or anything else. Even Reji and Jena had left their imprint on their boy, and he would pass their thoughts, their memories, their teaching down to his children and theirs. But Arman had no one who would. Until now, he had not believed he wanted that. He thought his soul so blackened that it was better to let his memory die away. His legacy would be the work he achieved in the service of Darshian, but he had not wanted anyone to grieve for him once he and Kei were gone. He did not deserve it. But perhaps it was still something to regret. He sighed. This was pointless and gloomy and self-indulgent, and he hated pointless self-indulgence. He threw himself into his work, and tried not to think of anything remotely personal. Arman? He sat up as he heard his lover's voice.Yes, Kei? I have a couple of books in our rooms there. I wonder if you could bring them over if you were planning to come here at lunchtime? Arman had not been going to, but of course he would not refuse Kei's request. He asked for the names of the books and said he would be there in half an hour, for indeed it was little short of noon, although he had achieved so little that morning. He shed his robes in the apartment, feeling it was wrong to wear them on personal business, though the other Rulers did so without the slightest misgiving, and found the books Kei had asked for, though why he needed them in such a hurry with the library so close at hand, he didn't know. He wondered if Kei was planning to sleep in the House tonight, and if he was still going to bring Karik to stay in their rooms. He supposed he'd better find out. He was slightly surprised to find Karik already had visitors, two students who bowed low as he entered the infirmary. He acknowledged their respectful greeting, and they said farewell to Karik as Arman turned to Kei. "Here they are."

He went to hand him the books, but Kei refused them. "Oh, they're for Karik. Why don't you give them to him while I finish up and then we can go eat?" Arman frowned at him. Had his lover brought him over here just to bring Karik some books? A little annoyed, he walked to the bed. "These are for you," he said stiffly, putting the books on the covers. He saw that Karik had been cleaned up and a nightshirt put on him, no doubt in honour of his visitors. "Th-thank you. Wuh-will you sit?" Karik started to cough. Irritated at having been the cause of it, Arman handed him the mug of water sitting on the side table, and wished Kei would hurry up. Karik again indicated he should sit, so Arman did so, though he didn't have time for this. He shot a glance at his lover, who had his back turned to them. Karik swallowed some more water, and tried to sit up a bit more. Arman helped him. You told me about that game – kesi? Kezi, yes, what about it? Uh...I wondered if you were going to teach me it today? "Karik, I'm busy....'' The boy looked at his hands and a faint blush stained his cheeks. Arman suddenly realised what he was trying to do. "....But of course I will. I need to fetch the kezi board from my office. Are you sure you want to do this today?" Karik looked up, an eager expression on his face. Yes, I'd really like that. I'm feeling so much better...but if you're busy.... I can make time. If that's what you want. I don't want to impose on you. You aren't. You're the one helping me, how can you be imposing? Am I just a way of avoiding boredom? I can find another to teach you the game.... Karik reached out for his hand. Please? You said you would tell me about your friend too. I want to know about him...and about...the other boy who died...all of it. It's hardly a pleasant story, Karik.

He was given the benefit of the boy's wide, green-eyed gaze. Kei told me what happened to Jik. I want to know more about it, about why you did that. I want to know about my mother, and Mekus, and how you met Kei, and...why you were so angry when we left Utuk. Please? The boy certainly didn't lack courage, though his common sense might be questioned. These are not small things, Karik. I don't want to toss them out for entertainment. I will speak of them if you will listen, but not if it's just to pass the time. No, I promise to listen. I know they're painful subjects. Arman was surprised and not a little pleased at that response. Very well, I'll try. Do you need us to talk like this, or will you care if I stutter? The slight bitterness in Karik's tone wasn't particularly directed at him, Arman guessed. Whatever makes you comfortable, Karik. Your stutter doesn't offend me, only I fear that it makes some people think you're far less intelligent than you are. Karik squeezed his hand. "Are you and K-Kei h-having lunch now?" "Yes we are. Master Kei, a moment of your invaluable time?" Kei came over with an eyebrow raised at Arman's sarcastic politeness. "How may I serve his lordship?" "I was wondering if Karik could be taken into the garden for lunch." "He'd make a tender morsel, but I'm not sure I could eat him at one sitting." Karik rolled his eyes at his uncle and gave Arman a look of pure disgust. "He's ssilly." "Yes, he is. Answer the question, you annoying creature." "Huh, a bit more respect, Lord Arman, if you please. I think we could probably arrange him to go out in a chair. Karik, it'll hurt to be carried, do you want to do this today?" "Yes, please," Karik said promptly, looking so eager that Kei laughed.

"There's your answer. Arman, if you can get him out to one of the long benches with a back to them, maybe that one under that big tree to the side, I'll bring pillows and blankets. But I don't want to hear a word of whining from either of you, do you hear?" "No, Master Kei." Karik grinned up at Arman. Thank you. It's nothing. I remember how sick of the bed I got when I was hurt. But this is going to be painful. Arman got the distinct impression Karik knew he wasn’t just talking about the physical pain. I don't mind if the benefit is worth it. I hope it is, for both our sakes.

"You know, I didn't think it was possible for someone to grin continuously for fifteen minutes," Kei said, ruffling Karik's hair, which only made his smile widen. Karik couldn't help it. Yes, the transfer had hurt like he could barely believe, though Arman had been as careful and gentle as any one could possibly have been, and even now he was in pain just from being moved and the new position. But he was out in the fresh air, it was a beautiful day, and the garden was full of lush scents and lively sounds. It felt good to be alive. "I'm h-happy, that's all." Kei grinned too. "You're an odd lad, if being invalid and carted around like a sack of beans makes you happy." "Oh, leave him alone," Arman said. "He's enjoying his freedom, aren't you, Karik?" Karik nodded. For the first time in nearly two weeks, he didn't feel like he was on the verge of dying if he stopped concentrating. Everything looked brighter to him, the colours more vivid, and had he never noticed how astonishingly lovely the sky was before? The world was such a beautiful place this day.

Two servants approached them, one bearing food, the other a board and a small sack. Arman took careful charge of the latter items, placing them on Karik's seat out of harm's way. Kei took the tray of food. Karik noted ruefully that it was soup again for him. Kei saw his look. "Last day, I promise. Once you can get up and walk to the latrine, you can go on normal food." "That first crap is going to be a pain in the arse, pardon the pun," Arman said, and Karik chuckled at the crudity and the heartfelt way Arman had said it – he was obviously speaking from experience. "You can be very vulgar for a Ruler, Arman. I thought Karik was supposed to be getting polished up here in Darshek." "It's a simple fact, Kei. Nothing vulgar about the workings of one's bowels, or so you keep telling me." "Ah, I see I am condemned by my own words," Kei said, shaking his head. "Eat up, Karik. You need to replace what the fever and infection took out of you." It was at least different soup than he'd been eating before and very good, and no one attempted to feed him, which was also good, although he had to eat lefthanded since it was his right arm that was injured. Kei and Arman sat peacefully next to each other as they ate. He was pleased to see them so happy together – whatever problem they had had, and which had indirectly led to his being hurt, had clearly been resolved. "I want to move you to the Rulers' House in a day or so, Karik. How do you feel about that?" Is that allowed? His mouth was full – that was his excuse for using Neka's offices again. "Of course it's allowed. Arman is allowed to have family and friends to stay, and then we can be close to where we work and still keep you out of mischief." "You'll be very welcome, Karik," Arman said. "The hospitality of the House is at your service. Lord Meki is anxious to reward your bravery in saving my life." Oh. Karik was embarrassed by the praise. He hadn't really thought he was being brave at all. He hadn't had time to be scared, he just acted on instinct. He said as much to Arman. "It makes no difference. You kept your wits about you and acted without hesitation. It was a virtuous act – unless of course you consider it of no importance that you stopped the man from killing me."

Karik flushed at Arman's tone, but Kei slapped his lover's knee. "Don't be horrible. Of course he doesn't think it unimportant, and neither do I. Karik, I will always be in your debt." "As will I," Arman added. "I've not thanked you properly, but I do so now. Thank you. You have been a blessing on me." Karik hardly knew where to look. "You're welcome," he mumbled. "You're embarrassing him, Arman," Kei chided. "Right, you two look nice and comfortable so I'm going to see what havoc my people have caused while I've been otherwise engaged, and then I might drop over and see Lord Meki. How did he seem to you?" Arman put his bowl aside. "Well, I thought. Less tired and he's definitely taking things easy." "Nice to see that he's finally listening to me," Kei grumbled. "But I'll go and reinforce the message. Arman, do you mind if I sleep in the infirmary tonight?" "Do you mind if I join you again?" You don't need to sleep there for me, Uncle Kei, Karik protested. Well, I do, you see, because Jena said she'd wring my neck if anything else happened to you, and since I'd rather not have my neck wrung.... Kei grinned again. "It's just this evening, and if you handle walking well tomorrow, we can move you back to the House in the afternoon." Karik gave up. Kei wouldn't go against his Ma's wishes, he knew that. Kei clapped his hands. "Then I'm off." He kissed Arman and got to his feet. "Now play nicely together." "Go sit on a thurl's nest, Kei," Arman said peaceably. "Karik and I are just going to play a quiet, civilised game of kezi. We don't need your supervision." "As you wish, my lord," Kei said, bowing low and winking at Karik. "Don't stay out too long – Arman, I'm trusting you to keep an eye out for Karik's welfare." Arman waved him off impatiently, and shook his head as Kei loped off across the grass. "I have no idea what he thinks I'm going to do to an invalid," he said, failing to sound as cross as he was trying to. "Are you finished with that?"

Karik handed him the bowl, and Arman stowed their dishes on the tray, shoving it under the bench for safety. "Now, kezi. Are you sure you're up to...?" Karik gave him an annoyed look. "Ah, very well." Arman smiled as he pulled out a worn looking board that was covered with circles and symbols, and caressed it as he laid it on Karik's knee. "This was Karus' board. It's the same one he taught me to play on." "Your...friend?" "Very much my friend. My tutor, my mentor. My surrogate parent for much of my life." He touched the board again, and his eyes softened. "I miss him still." "Tell m-me about him?" Arman began to lay the pieces out on the board. "He was born in south Darshian, and had a Darshianese nurse maid, would you believe? That was before the invasion, of course, but there have always been some Prij living in the south. When he was fifteen, his father took a position here in Utuk and moved the family back. He spoke Darshianese perfectly, and taught many noblemen, including myself, to speak it too. Even today, you can tell those in the senatorial class who had him, or whose parents or tutors had him as a tutor because of their accent." So that explained it, Karik thought. He'd wondered. "He had a small school, with a class of no more than five or six of us at a time. He seemed to know everything, and you could ask him anything without him taking offence. He was the first adult I ever knew who would admit to not knowing something, and who said it was all right if I didn't either, so long as I was prepared to look for the answer. He was the first person who ever made me feel like an adult." He looked up. "My father...well, my father and I were estranged over a stupid misunderstanding that drove us apart for nearly twenty years. Being stubborn and proud runs in my family, unfortunately." Having met the man, Karik could imagine that very easily. But you love him? Very much. I will forever be glad we ended that estrangement. Karik nodded as he picked up one of the small game pieces. It was shaped like a bird, some kind of large-winged, sharp-beaked predator, but not of a type he knew. The carving was very fine, worthy of anything Risa had ever made from gike plum, though it was not a wood Karik had seen before. "And Loke?" Arman was silent for a few moments. "Let's...play a little before I speak of him. Now, the piece you are holding is the kez, and the movement it makes is called kezin-ge."

Arman carefully explained the rules of what was obviously a very complex game, which Karik was quite sure he would never remember. It was based on the idea of birds and ground predators, each with special abilities and movements, matched but dissimilar. The object was to 'kill' as many of the other person's pieces as possible, which was by no means easy, nor was keeping one's own pieces in play. Arman said they would use the simplified rules that beginners usually played by – even these required more concentration than Karik had used in nearly two weeks. It took very little time for Arman to acquire all Karik's pieces, of course. "Hard g-game," Karik said. He reached for his water cup and Arman helped him to it. "Yes it is, one requiring a slow, measured planning. Impetuous sorts do very poorly at kezi. They like officers in the Prijian army and navy to play it, since it develops a good approach to strategy." "You're g-good?" Arman smiled. "Moderate. Karus was the master, of course. People came from all over Kuprij to play it with him." He fiddled with one of the pieces, seeming lost in his memories, looking a little sad. Karik had never seen him like this – so open, with no stiff pride or formality. Karik felt he could ask anything and Arman would answer it. That didn't mean it was a good idea to pry into the past without a care for the effect on Arman. It was like Kei said – he seemed rather fragile right now, looking very tired with the faint blue shadows under his eyes, clean shaven for the first time in days but still looking rather less well-groomed than his normal meticulous appearance. Just as Karik would with any wounded animal, he needed to take care not to add to his pain. Arman suggested they play another game, though Karik found it as bewildering as the first time. He feared he really didn't have a head for this kind of thing. He'd never thought of himself as a strategist. He lost again, and sighed. "Never mind, son, Loke could never pick it up either. He wasn't someone who lived in the future." "Was he cl-clever?" Arman began setting the pieces out carefully again, though Karik sensed it was just to give his hands something to do. "He was very bright. Observant, assessing. He liked to watch people, how they interacted. He was fascinated by

the games they played." He laughed a little. "Perhaps that was why he had no patience with board games." He suddenly swept the pieces off the board and into the little leather sack, then took the board from Karik's knees. "And I think, perhaps, neither do you," he said with a rueful smile. "I'm sorry." "It's all right, Karik. Kei plays with me, and your father does from time to time, though he's not much for games either. I can survive without another opponent. Your strengths, like Loke's, lie elsewhere. Are you feeling up to this? Do you want to go inside?" Karik shook his head. He was a little tired, but the idea of going back to his bed was distinctly unappealing. "This is g-good." "It is, isn’t it?" Arman tipped his head back and stared up at the sky. "The last time I did this was in Utuk. Seems like a very long time ago." He looked at Karik. "I never bothered to ask you what it was like for you." I hated it. I couldn't go out, and Mekus and Mykis scared me. My mother...I didn't understand her at all. She cried when I arrived, but then she didn't say goodbye. Arman stared at him for several moments, which make Karik feel distinctly uncomfortable since he couldn't tell what the man was thinking. But finally he sighed. "As you said, quite rightly, I am at least partly, if not wholly responsible for that. I'm truly sorry." Karik nodded. It was an old wound now, and one that didn't actually hurt any more. He had moved on. Doesn't matter. It's over and done with. "You forgive me? Just like that?" "Yes." Arman stared at him a little longer, then nodded. "Then I'm glad. I'm sorry too for how I've handled this business. I'm...not good with emotional things. That whole time after Loke died was very painful. I think if Karus had not been there to keep me sane, I would have killed myself. Fortunately, I didn't," he added dryly, "and Kei helped me the rest of the way back to sanity." If his mother had loved Arman as she claimed, then she would have known how much he was suffering, but she either hadn't known or hadn't cared. And it

seemed Karus had died not long after Loke. No wonder Arman had not wanted to take on the care of a child he didn't believe was his own. Realising that, the last sting of the rejection disappeared. Arman had just been struggling to cope with too much grief, but he had still made sure a baby who meant nothing to him had found a good home. The best home, Karik told himself sternly. He had the best parents in the whole world. He looked at Arman now. The man was trying to lay himself bare, but it hurt, it was obvious. And really, did Karik have a right to these intimate secrets? No, he didn't. Arman didn't owe him that. All Arman had owed him was what he had given him. "T-Tell me...." He saw how Arman's shoulders tensed, waiting for the next strike on an injured soul. "About Ah-Andon." All the breath whooshed out of his companion, who blinked at him. "Andon?" "Yes. Andon." "But I thought you wanted to know...." "Andon. Please?" Arman frowned. "Are you annoyed with me, Karik?" No. I just don't want to hurt you any more. Besides, I'd really like to hear about Andon, unless you're busy and want to go back. I'll understand if you do, he added, giving Arman what he hoped was an earnest look. "I've set this time aside for you, but are you sure you're not just humouring me, perhaps because of Kei? It's not necessary to do so, you know." Arman was retreating behind his defences again, but this time, Karik knew what was going on. He reached out his hand, and Arman took it automatically, the way he had every time Karik had needed something, someone to cling to as he fought the fever and the illness of infection. No, I'm not. I'd just like to know about Andon. Arman stared a little longer, but he still kept hold of Karik's hand. Finally he cleared his throat. "Very well. I suppose, being you, you're most interested in the animals and plants. They're very different...."

Though he had put a cheerful face on it, Arman had not been looking forward to the conversation with Karik. He'd agreed to it only because he sensed it was his last and best chance of defeating the ghosts which forever seemed to block his path to a normal relationship with the boy. He hadn't really known what to expect but what he had certainly not expected was this graciousness, nor the consideration. He certainly hadn't expected to have an intelligent and quite learned discussion about the economics of Andon society, in which he forgot entirely to whom he was speaking, and conversed as if with Lord Meki, making no concessions and expecting none. Since they had used Neka's mind link to talk, it was only when Karik switched to voice after a long period, and began to cough, that Arman remembered that he was talking to an invalid, and a young one at that. "I beg your pardon, Karik. You must be tired." The boy shook his head emphatically. Not at all. This is the best I've felt in days. Considering how sick you were, I'm not sure that's necessarily as strong an argument as it might be. He reached up and felt Karik's forehead – cool. And his colour was still good, though the way he was shifting meant he was uncomfortable. "Perhaps we should get you back inside." Oh, this child had his uncle's trick of using his eyes to good effect. "All right – another half an hour, no more. I don't want Kei to come after me." That earned him a brilliant smile. Thank you. When did you find the time to learn so much about Andon? The tutor...in Utuk...taught me some, and then the books here in the library.... I love the library. So do I. It's a very fine one indeed, though I believe the one in Urshek to be even bigger. I want to go there...only I want to go home too. "And therein lies your dilemma. Kei faced exactly the same choice, and I'd be lying if I said he didn't pay a heavy price for following his talents up here. But then, if you look at all he's done, it's hard to wish he had stayed a simple village healer in Ai-Albon. You should enjoy your family and your childhood while you can. Kei took a good year to make his decision to leave, and he was older than you when he did. You're not wasting your time, clearly. I wonder that you did not want to be a healer like Jena."

Karik gestured at his mouth. I did. But it would take too long to find out what was wrong with the patient. "But you're defeating the stammer – won't that make a difference?" I'll still be a Prij. Some people will never trust me. "You don't think that might change now the country has me as a Ruler?" The look he got was withering. It was because you were made a Ruler that Jos nearly killed me. Arman really couldn't argue with that. "I'm sorry." Karik shrugged. "I-idiots everywhere." "Yes, they are. I faced a bit of hostility in the village, not as much as you might expect, but considering the things I'd done, it was amazing I wasn't murdered in my sleep. It would have been all I deserved." Kei says you should forgive yourself. Arman looked at the boy in surprise. "I know he does. So does Loke's mother. What do you think?" I think...if you don't want to end up like Jik, you have to. "You understand the things I've done? It wasn't just killing that boy. I've killed dozens of people, ordered many more killed in the name of the Prij. Many Darshianese families grieve because of me, Karik. Many would do as Jik did, given half a chance." "We...made you R-ruler," Karik whispered. "What more do you wuh-want?" "I'm being greedy, is that what you're saying?" Karik tilted his head, then nodded, although he smiled a little. Arman had to laugh at that. "Perhaps you're right. Perhaps it's ungracious to throw the acceptance I have received back at people. But now we really should...." Karik pleaded again with his eyes. "You need to rest, you know that." Just a few more minutes?

Arman tsked. "Such a troublesome child." "Not a ch-child." "Hmmm, perhaps you're right. After all I wasn't all that much older than you when I went into the army." Karik picked at the sleeve of his nightshirt. I wanted to ask you to help me learn more Prijian, but.... "But?" Karik met his eyes. You seemed irritated with me in Utuk, even before.... Did I say the wrong thing to your father? I didn't mean to. "No, you didn't say the wrong thing. If anything, the problem was that you spoke too well." I don't understand. "No reason why you would, when it's to do with my own eccentricity. It was just a surprise to see you look and sound so Prijian. I thought your Ma was going to kill me, and I...thought perhaps you had been spoiled by Mekus." Karik gave him such a disgusted look, Arman felt quite chastened. "I h-hated Mekus." But I had Prijian jammed down my neck for a month, how could I not learn it? "You couldn't. But why do you want to learn it now?" Kei says it's useful. But if you don't want to teach me, I could ask Lorus. "Lorus? The Prijian boy who was talking to you earlier? Well, we could both teach you. I don't have a lot of free time, however much I might want to help." But you won't be angry with me if I learn it? "No, Karik, I promise not to be so childish. My father said you had a right to know of your heritage, and speaking the language is the very least you are entitled to. You can be Prijian and Darshianese at the same time, just as Karus was, I suppose. If people are going to keep mistaking you as Prijian, you may as well know what it means."

"I am D-Darshianese." And he had thought Karik such a harmless child – the way his eyes flashed with anger now made him look quite fierce. "Certainly you are," Arman said pacifically. "So am I," he said, flipping the tail of his braid at Karik. "Though Kei insists until I let Pira bathe with us, I won't really be." The fierce look disappeared and was replaced by a rueful grin. Kei's silly. "Sometimes. My point is that we straddle two races. Learn the Prijian language, if you have a taste for it, and the history, for there is much to be proud of. Take the values that you personally agree with from both cultures, and become your own man. Don't let anyone – Mekus, me, or even Kei – tell you who to be." Karik nodded, then shifted again. It was perfectly clear that he had been sitting on a hard bench for quite long enough. "Right, now I am taking you inside, no arguments." Karik sighed, but as Arman went to pick him up, he put up a hand. "Board," he whispered. "Oh. I can't...." But the lad wanted to balance the kezi board and the sack of pieces on his lap. "Very well. You're not really that meek or mild at all, are you?" No, but I never claimed to be. "No, I suppose you did not. Perhaps you just seem quiet with all the noisy people around you." Who can get a word in edgeways with my parents or Kei around? Arman smiled, recalling just how loud Jena and Reji and Kei got when they were together. "Exactly. Unfortunately, once you leave here you will have to make yourself heard over the top of them, as Neka can't offer mind speech to you in the village." "I'll m-manage," Karik said dryly "You know, I rather suspect you will." Arman had a feeling that even quiet and stammering as he was, Karik of Ai-Albon would make his voice heard in a good many places.

Kei was working busily at his makeshift desk, and affected surprise at seeing them. "I was just going to come and rescue you," he said brightly. "He doesn't need rescuing," Arman said, pulling a face at his lover as he set Karik gently down on the bed. "I didn't mean Karik," Kei retorted, sticking his tongue out. "Let me go and fetch all the bedding you've left strewn all over the garden." "He's such a nag," Arman muttered, sitting behind Karik to support him until the pillows were fetched. He could see Karik's hand clenching into a fist, but respected the boy's privacy to deal with the pain. If it didn't pass by the time Kei returned, Kei would deal with it, he knew. But Karik's hand uncurled before Kei came back. "Feeling better?" Karik nodded. Did it hurt like this when you were injured? Let me see – do you want to howl and pound the ground to try and make it stop? Um – a bit.... Then I guess it did. I had broken ribs and a broken leg too – Kei saved my life. A good many others too. He's amazing when he's working. He's amazing all the time. But also silly. "He certainly is." "Who certainly is what?" Kei said, coming in with his arms full of pillows and blankets. He and Arman carefully set them around Karik, and the way the boy sank back against them gratefully told Arman that he had got him inside no later than he should have. "You. An amazing idiot." "Charming. Perhaps I'll take myself off and annoy someone else." What he actually did was check Karik very thoroughly and question him about the amount of pain he was in. "Hmmm, you need to not overdo it, Karik. Not like this other 'amazing idiot' did when he was hurt. The trouble he caused me, honestly."

Karik smiled, but it was clear he was very tired. Arman laid his hand on the boy's forehead. "I think a nap might be a good idea. I have to go and attend to some business, but I'll be back for supper. We could have a lesson then." Karik nodded. "Lesson?" Kei looked at him curiously. "Karik has asked for my help in improving his Prijian. I think it's an excellent idea." Arman had the pleasure of rendering his voluble lover speechless for a change, and took advantage of it to give him a quick kiss. "See you both later." He tucked the kezi board under his arm, and strode out, grinning. He ended up being collared by Lord Peika as he walked back to his office, who quizzed him quite thoroughly about Karik's health and his own mental state, before dragging Arman back to his own office to look over some plans. It was quite late before he got free, but Karik was still asleep when he returned. Kei put his finger to his lips and signalled for them to step outside, before leading them back to the dining hall. Arman was getting rather sick of institutional food and longed for either Pira's good, plain cooking, or failing that, what the Rulers' House kitchen could provide. There was an excellent cook in charge there. Only one more night, he hoped. "I'll feed Karik later, but I didn't want to wake him. The poor lad's exhausted, what on earth did you do to him?" "Me? I did nothing, I'm the one who needs the rest. He's quite the challenging companion." "You should feel what I feel, Arman. You're just radiating contentment – you both were when you came back, although he was tired and in pain. What did you talk about?" Arman held the door of the dining hall open for Kei. "Everything, pretty much. I don't know why you didn't tell me the boy had a brain." Kei gave him the look that stupidity deserved. "Took you long enough to realise it," he said disgustedly. A servant came rushing over to them and bowed to Arman. "Just whatever's going, please," Kei told the man, and then they took a seat by the windows, giving them a view of the setting sun over the harbour. He reached for Arman's hand and held it across the table. "Whatever you said, or he said, I'm happy for you. Have you settled everything about Mayl and the whole giving him up for adoption thing?"

"So it seems. I can't say that her attitude towards him won't give him some pain in the future, but he forgives me for what I did. He seems to understand why. I supposed I never believed a child could." "He's no child, Arman. Surely you accept it now." "Yes, I do. But I told him to enjoy what's left of his childhood. Don't be in too much of a hurry to drag him into the world of care. He's had enough of that for one year." "He certainly has. Jena spoke to me – we were discussing when and how he should go back. Reji is all set to come up specially, but Karik would like to stay until we go back. Unless you object, that's what I'd like. I know that’s our holiday together," he said, raising Arman's hand and kissing it in apology, "but I thought we could stay a little longer this year, because you've been away so long." "I was going to suggest that myself. And yes, of course he should stay. He's been putting his time to good use, that much is obvious. We...that is, I...." Kei grinned. "You want to get to know him better?" "Is it that obvious? I've spent so long taking the wrong approach. I want to make amends. I owe him that and...I owe Loke that." "Arman...." "It's all right, Kei. It's not that I'm thinking of who Karik might be, it's just what you said about seeing how Loke might have flowered given the same opportunities. I suppose it's selfish to use him that way." Kei kissed his hand again. "It would be selfish if we both didn't know how much you and he would benefit from it. Don't feel guilty over something so wholly good. I'm proud of you. Not that I'm not always that, but today...." He leaned closer. "I'll reward you in my preferred fashion," he whispered, an evil glint in his wonderful eyes, "but not while we're staying in the infirmary." "How soon can we sleep in a real bed, did you say?" "I assure you, my lord, sleeping is not what I had in mind."

Chapter 13 "More tea?" Karik looked up and shook his head. "No, th-thank you." "Then I'll finish it, no point in letting it go cold." Arman poured the rest of the tea into his mug, then sat on the edge of his desk. "How goes the note taking?" "My brain is s-stupid." He looked at the notes he'd made again. His writing was pretty bad because of his arm, but they looked unintelligible anyway. Either his brain wasn't working, or the anatomy of the dolphin was beyond the comprehension of human thought. He suspected the former. "I doubt that, Karik. You should take a break. Walk around, perhaps. If you give me a few minutes, I can take you out to the garden, or I can ask someone to do that for me." "Maybe in a f-few minutes." Karik had been at it for two hours, but he hadn't wanted to interrupt Arman. After all, he was disrupting the work of a Ruler quite badly enough by having Arman move his office to the private apartments while Karik was recuperating, not to mention actually sharing a room with the man as he tried to catch up on his reading. He strongly suspected Arman didn't normally take half as many breaks as he had done the last few days, although the man had made it seem as if it was quite usual for him to have tea and light refreshments served to him every couple of hours. It was pleasant though, and very peaceful, working quietly here. Karik had quickly got used to Rulers and clan leaders coming in at frequent intervals. Arman had told him to just ignore them and behave as if he was invisible, and that seemed to suit everyone. He did his best to ignore the discussions, and if there was anything sensitive to be talked about, Arman just suggested he and whoever it was went downstairs to his office for a few minutes to chat. It had only happened three times so far. Kei was back at the academy of course, although he came over for lunch and was back at sunset promptly to have dinner with them both. Karik had been utterly delighted to get out of the infirmary, and the Rulers' apartments were perfectly comfortable. With a thick door between his room and his hosts, Karik had even been able to mostly ignore the sounds of their enthusiastic return to a normal love life. Kei was certainly looking happier for it.

Pira had visited, bringing his pack and a sack of honey cakes for him. He felt bad that she was in the house on her own and would be for at least a month, but she told him not to concern himself. She was spending a lot of time helping Kesa with looking after her children, as Kesa had begun work for a pottery, creating decorative glazes. Arman had also offered to arrange a carriage for Pira to come to the Rulers' House anytime she wanted, so she seemed content, though she'd scolded Karik for the danger he'd put himself in. The fact he'd saved Arman's life cut very little ice with her – she told him to think of how his mother would have felt if he'd died. Karik was rather glad she hadn't seen him when he was really ill, if she was this worried now. The cakes had been good but were now all eaten. However the cooks here in the House clearly took pride in their work, and Karik had never tasted such light and delicious pastries as were regularly supplied to Arman's office with the pots of tea. The bland soup he'd drunk so much of in the infirmary was but a distant memory and he was, he feared, getting rather spoiled by the luxury of his accommodations. He found it hard to care that much, but did his best to earn the treats by working at his studies to the limits of his slowly increasing energies. Arman took Karik's mug from the small table he was using as a makeshift desk, and cleared the tea tray away to the side. He wondered what Arman was working on – he'd been immersed in reports since breakfast. He'd gathered that Arman was their expert on engineering matters, particularly on anything to do with roads or transport. He certainly seemed to meet a lot of architects and engineers, some of whom were advising the Andonese. Karik wondered if he would ever travel to that northern land and see the defences that Arman and Lord Jiv had helped institute. Arman had made the country sound so fascinating. "Hello, you two!" Karik looked up again and smiled in delight. "R-Reis, you should use the ddoor." The Gifted man was standing on the window sill, grinning. "Quicker this way." "Yes, but hell on the woodwork. Do you mind?" Arman said, gesturing for Reis to come in. Reis floated in through the window and rested lightly on the carpet. The last time Karik had seen him was five days ago, when he had turned up at the infirmary just as Kei and Arman were debating how best to transfer Karik to the House. Reis had only come over to deliver an apology for Seiki, who had been unable to visit because of a 'big secret', or so Reis had said, looking as if he was about to

burst for keeping the confidence. "Not a bad secret," he'd assured Karik, before telling Arman to lift Karik into his arms, and then flying both of them over the roofs of both academy and House, and in through the upper story windows of Arman's apartment. It had taken all of two minutes to get Karik from the infirmary to being tucked up in a wonderfully comfortable bed. Reis had stayed to chat and then promised to return once Karik was recovered a little more. Which was now. "I've got a surprise for you," he announced. "Oh?" Karik glanced at Arman, who looked a little shifty, and that made him suspect his companion already knew about this. "Where?" "In the garden. I'm to bring you. Both of you. Do you want to walk down, Arman, or would you like to fly?" "I don't see why I should turn down a chance to fly if Karik's going to be floating as well." Arman helped Karik to stand. "Shall we?" Karik was very glad not to have to use the stairs. He could, with help, but it still hurt a lot, and he got thoroughly exhausted when he climbed them. Kei insisted he had to do it at least once a day, but he'd already done it this morning, so had no conscience about using Reis' help. Besides, flying was fun. The journey was only to the garden, under one of the large spreading trees. Kei was already there with Seiki and a woman Karik didn't know, together with a young boy of perhaps nine or ten years of age. Seiki came to him at once and gave him a very careful hug. "Oh, you look so well, Karik – I thought you would look worse." "I'm m-much better." "I'm sorry I couldn't visit." He was just glad to see her now, looking so happy. "It's ah-all right." "Have a seat, Karik." Arman indicated the bench, and Karik did as he was told. "Seiki, why don't you introduce us?" "Oh, yes! Karik, this is my mother and my brother Sevi." "M-Mother?" Karik stared at the woman in blank astonishment. This was the very last thing he'd expected. "H-How?"

"She just turned up a few days ago. I'm so happy, Karik! We're going to live here in Darshek." "I'm g-glad, Seiki." Her mother looked as pleased as she did, though rather careworn behind it. Her brother hid behind his mother and stared at everyone, apparently too overawed or shy to speak. "Seiki, dear," her mother murmured, nodding at Arman. "Oh, I forgot. Ma, this is Arman." "Seiki, you should say 'my lord.' Begging your lordship's pardon," she said, blushing as she bowed. Arman grinned. "It's quite all right. I have it on good authority that the Rulers of Darshek don't tell the Gifted what to do, isn't that right, Seiki?" Seiki flushed as red as her mother had, and Karik wondered what on earth that remark was about. "Anyway, we're all friends here. I am Arman, Karik's uncle." His uncle? Karik stared, but Arman ignored his surprise. "Pleased to meet you," he said, holding out her hand, to the woman's confusion. "And you are...?" he prompted. "Meya, your lordship. Meya of Ai-Rutej." "Why don't you have a seat, Meya? Sevi, you and Seiki can sit on the grass if you like." Meya looked utterly scandalised as Arman sat down casually next to Kei, who hadn't said a word but had been grinning happily at them all. He turned to Karik. "Sorry not to tell you about this, Ka-chi, but Seiki wanted some time to get used to having her family around her again." "I underst-stand. Where wuh-will you live?" Seiki took his hand. "We're all staying in the House of the Gifted for now, but we're looking for a place in the city. Wyma says it's fine if I want to live with Ma. I can live like a normal person. I'm so happy, I could explode!" "Oh, I hope you don't. That would be messy," Reis said solemnly, which made Kei chuckle. "Arman, I was talking to them about possibly minding our house when we go south. Lord Meki is happy for them to stay in the Rulers' House if something more suitable can't be found."

"I'm sure we can arrange something. Will your husband be joining you, Meya?" "No, your lordship," she said, as Seiki's smile lost some of its brightness. "Ah. I'm sorry." "So am I, but if a man makes a mother choose between her child and her husband, then there's no choice. I'm just sorry I made my girl wait for me." Seiki laid her head on her mother's knee. "It's all right, Ma. I know it was hard for you." "Not as hard as living with myself for sending you away, dear. I was wrong to do that. If your Pa won't see that, then too bad." Karik was delighted for his friend's good fortune, but he couldn't help but wonder if they were storing pain up for themselves. After all, her brother was now separated from his father, her mother from her spouse. He just hoped the three of them would find the strength to overcome the fracture of their family. "The state will do everything it can to assist you, of course," Arman was saying. "I believe Seiki said you're a potter? We've always a need for skilled workers here." "I'll do anything, my lord, so long as I can keep my children safe and with me." "An admirable sentiment in a mother," he agreed politely. "There's no hurry for you to find employment. The state pays an allowance to Seiki, more if she decides to work for us, and accommodation will be provided free of charge. Sevi will be found a place in a school as soon as you're ready." "Thank you, my lord," she said, bowing her head. Seiki turned to him. "How are you feeling, Karik?" "I'm f-fine. S-Studying again." "And ready for your voice lessons again when you're fit," Kei hinted. "I had Mistress Titira bending my ear about not letting you slack off too much for too long. I pointed out you were lucky to be breathing at all, considering – apparently this is a mere triviality to be overcome with hard work." He pulled a face, which made Seiki laugh.

"I can come over everyday once you're up to it," she said. "Does it still hurt?" "A bit." A lot, sometimes, but he didn't think there was any point in saying that to her. "I'd l-like to start work again." "And Ma can help, can't you, Ma?" "If the lad wants me to, Seiki. Goodness, you've become a forward young lady," she said, stroking her daughter's face fondly. "I don't want to push myself where I'm not wanted." "Nonsense," Arman said. "Any family of Seiki's is as welcome as Seiki herself." "I'd l-like your advice," Karik added. "The s-sooner I s-stop stammering, the bbetter." Inwardly he cursed the stutter which had reverted almost to what it had been before he'd been hurt. Titira was right – he couldn't afford to stop working on it just because he was injured. Seiki's mother spoke with Karik and Kei for some time about exactly how she had helped Seiki. Kei was clearly storing up the ideas, and Karik wouldn't be at all surprised to find one of his students had been set on the task of researching why the exercises helped. He recalled that there were other people who had asked Kei for help with their stammering – if Meya wanted to, she could work with Seiki and the academy for a good while, he thought. Seiki's brother hadn't smiled once since Karik had arrived, and Karik had noticed that once his father had been mentioned, the boy had become rather sad-looking, big eyes mournful, his hand clinging to his mother's shirt. Was anyone concerned about this boy at all? He glanced at Arman and found he was staring at Sevi too, as if his thoughts were running in the same direction. Then Karik remembered how Arman had introduced himself. 'Uncle' – it felt right, and at the same time, rather odd. Kei had explained that the reason Karik's Pa had insisted Kei was Karik's uncle was because Kei was his Pa's adopted little brother. But Arman wasn't, and he and Kei weren't married either. Still, if Arman wanted to use the title, then that was up to him. It was rather nice to be acknowledged as a relative. Seiki and her family only stayed a few more minutes before Kei and Reis walked back with them to the academy. Kei was visiting Wyma to make his usual check on him – Karik knew Arman would normally have gone with him, and felt bad that he'd had to alter his routine so much. But Arman seemed untroubled as they made their slow way back across the lawn. Kei had prevented Reis giving Karik

a lift back to the apartment, saying Karik needed the exercise. That earned his uncle a scowl which Kei had cheerfully ignored. "I wonder if a walking stick would help," Arman said. "D-Doubt it," Karik said. Walking wasn't a problem, not any more. But climbing those pissing stairs was. "At least when you're healed, you will be grateful for your good health. I know I was." Some consolation, Karik thought. He looked at the tall staircase in dismay. He was too sore for this. He would wring Kei's neck, or he would if he could reach that high. "Lean on me," Arman said. With his strong hand under Karik's armpit, and the other firmly gripping his belt, it took some of the strain off the wound and he found he could actually climb without needing to rest every couple of steps. He still had to stand and get his breath back, gulping in air and trembling with the effort, as they reached the top. Arman kept a careful hold of him, waiting patiently until he recovered. "I think we'll save climbing the Treyk mountains until you're healed, what do you say?" "I th-think the st-stairs are higher." Arman chuckled a little and urged him to walk slowly along the corridor. "I'm sure they feel it." Instead of returning him to the desk, Arman had him lie on the long chair and propped him up with cushions. "Take a break, Karik. Nothing is to be achieved by overdoing it." Karik found it hard to argue against it, and leaned tiredly back against the pillows. "More tea? Some water?" "Water, pl-please." Arman fetched him a mug from the pitcher standing on the side table, and helped himself to some as well. He leant on the desk, his arms folded as he sipped the water. "And what's your opinion about Meya's decision? I saw you looking at the boy." "I th-think it's hard. S-Someone will suffer, wuh-whatever they do."

Arman's eyes narrowed. "But Seiki's your friend, she's happy. Surely that's all that matters." "B-But if her br-brother hates her wuh-when he grows up.... Or her m-mother misses her h-husband." "Yes, indeed. A very hard choice, which of two children should suffer, and will her brother be angrier at his father for driving his sister away, or his mother for taking him away from his father?" "Sh-she's trying to d-do the best thing. No easy ah-answer." Arman sighed and set his cup down. "No, there isn't. With the best will in the world, Seiki's father would have a hard time uprooting his family when he's got a farm to run. Her mother has the option of working in the city, her father does not. I hope that this decision doesn't bring Seiki more pain in the future." "She wuh-wants to go home. Why c-can't she?" "I thought Kei explained this to you, Karik. There are very good reasons why the Gifted have to live up here under our protection." Karik just looked at him. They both knew that mind-speakers did not pose the public danger or invite the kind of hatred that the Gifted fire-shapers and mind-movers did. "Tell me this. If we let her go back to Ai-Rutej, even supposing her father would allow it, which I don't think he will from what I know of the case, or if her village elders will, what are the implications for people like Reis? How does it make the other Gifted feel if some of them are allowed to leave and others not? And what does that mean for Darshian's covenant with them?" He seemed to really want an answer, waiting for Karik to think it through, and not showing the least impatience when moments stretched into minutes. "The GGifted rule th-themselves. So if th-they are n-not together, there is no c-control. If there is j-jealousy, they c-can't live in ha-harmony?" "No, they can't. Karik, it's not the Rulers who made the law about the Gifted living here. It's not the Rulers who will enforce it. If Seiki wanted to leave, she could – but she would either be dead, an outcast, or back in Darshek within a year. The villages can't cope with a harmless blond-haired boy – how do you think they feel about someone with her powers, or Reis?" Karik already knew all this, but he felt depressed that something Seiki had wanted so badly as to see her mother again, was something that caused another child pain – yet there was no other solution. "You see the reasons for things are

often more complex than seem at first," Arman said quietly. "I hope Meya's children forgive her decisions made for the best motives, whatever happens. I hope Seiki will come to forgive her father in time. I don't think he's a bad man. I think he's dealing with something few parents have to, and making the same choice that many others have made. It's easy to judge him harshly at this distance, without knowing what is in his heart." Karik nodded, knowing that Arman was making a more general point, and one which was well taken. "'Uh-Uncle'?" "Ah, I wondered if you would say anything. Do you mind? You were asking what you should call me, and I... well I thought it more appropriate than any alternative. If it offends you...." "No, it d-doesn't," Karik said hastily, seeing Arman was going into his defensive posture, metaphorically. "Two f-fathers is too c-confusing." Arman smiled, the tension in his face disappearing instantly. "Certainly with Reji for a father, you aren't in need of a second. Actually Kei says since I'm his partner, I should be your aunt." Karik laughed, and then coughed, holding his side. "He's silly." "Yes, he certainly is." The love in Arman's eyes made them soft, taking the steely edge off them, and Karik wondered yet again how the man could have ever contemplated being separated from Kei for two whole years – and for a boy who he'd cared nothing for. "I've got to visit the quarries tomorrow – fancy a trip out in the carriage? It's near where they mine those stones you're so fond of." "T-Tero stones?" He put his hand in reflex over the one around his neck. He would love to see where they came from. "Yes, pl-please." "Then we shall. You'll have to stay with the vehicle but I don't imagine you'll mind." "No. Th-thank you." "You're welcome. Now I'd better get back to work. Do you want to read there or at the desk?" "Here, pl-please?" As Arman handed him his book, and got him slightly more settled, Karik felt he had to ask. "D-Don't you mind the trouble?"

Arman wouldn't look at him as he pulled a footstool over for Karik to use as a rest for things he might need to reach for. "You're no trouble. I like it, in fact. I...once I was used to having company all the time. I'm sorry, Karik – I'm rather obviously reliving my time with Loke through you. It's something I feel I need to do. Do you mind? I don't wish to use you as a surrogate...." Karik reached out for Arman's hand. "It's g-good for both of us," he said quietly. Arman patted his hand. "I hope so. As for the rest of it, you're conducting yourself politely and causing no offence, and that's all I expect. I'm as eager as Kei that you don't waste your opportunity here. If I find you troublesome, I shall inform you." He smiled to take the harshness out of his words. "Back to work." "Yes, Uncle Ah-Arman." Arman just smiled wider.