College in a Can
Sandra and Harry Choron
Houghton Mifflin Company
College in a Can
Books by Sandra Choron The Book of Lists for Teens (with Harry Choron) The Caregiver’s Essential Handbook (with Sasha Carr) The All-New Book of Lists for Kids (with Harry Choron) Elvis: The Last Word (with Bob Oskam) The Book of Lists for Kids (with Harry Choron) The Big Book of Kids’ Lists Rocktopicon (with Dave Marsh and Debbie Geller) Everybody’s Investment Book (with Edward Malca) National Lampoon’s Class Reunion
College in a Can Sandra and Harry Choron
houghton mifflin company boston • new york • 2004
Copyright © 2004 by Sandra Choron All rights reserved For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book, write to Permissions, Houghton Mifflin Company, 215 Park Avenue South, New York, New York 10003. Visit our Web site: www.houghtonmifflinbooks.com. ISBN-13: 978-0-618-40871-9 ISBN-10: 0-618-40871-1 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Choron, Sandra, date. College in a can / Sandra and Harry Choron. p. cm. ISBN: 0-618-40871-1 1. College environment — United States — Miscellanea. 2. College students — United States — Conduct of life — Miscellanea. 3. Education, Higher — United States — Miscellanea. 4. Universities and colleges — United States — Miscellanea. I. Choron, Harry. II. Title. LB3605.C56415 2004 378.19'8 — dc22 2004042719 Book design by Melissa Lotfy Printed in the United States of America QUM 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
“7 Students Who Learned More on Their School Breaks Than They Did in School,” from Taking Time Off, by Colin Hall and Ron Lieber, copyright © 2003 by Princeton Review Publishing, L.L.C. Used by permission of Princeton Review, a division of Random House, Inc.
FOR OUR LOVING PARENTS Morris and Sonia Choron, and Kalman and Fay Samelson, who valued our education and welfare above all
Acknowledgments
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e’d be nothing without — Kathi Kamen Goldmark, our party hearty expert and muse; Amy Wuhl Seefeldt, whose fresh ideas and enthusiasm resulted not only in many of the lists that follow but also in the tone throughout; and Kira Sexton, who was always there with great lists, more lists, and then some; Michael Simmons, our favorite Y.I.P.P.I.E.; and Steve Leeds, who knows everything there is to know about the music business; Dave Barry, who is too funny for words (at least any we can think of) and Judi Smith; Rebecca Erbstein and Grant Loude of Jeopardy!; Kristin Battista and the National Mental Health Association; Ron Norton of the Kentucky Kernel; and Warren Kozireski of College Broadcasting Inc. for their entertaining contributions and help throughout; Sara Schaumburg, who provided inspiration and honesty; Our talented editor, Susan Canavan, whose values and good cheer always inspire us to do our best; Sarah Gabert, who gives new meaning to the word “thorough”; the aptly named Susan Abel; our sharp-eyed manuscript editor, Monica Jainschigg, and all those at Houghton Mifflin who played on the team; Ellen Rosenberg, whose wonderful book Growing Up Feeling Good started it all; Casey Choron, our most respected critic, our trusted adviser, our best friend.
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CONTENTS Introduction
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•
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Collegeville, U.S.A.
Top 10 Worst Reasons for Choosing a College • 2 12 Things You Probably Wish You Had Known Before You Got to College • 4 7 Things About Ivy League Schools That They Don’t Want You to Know • 5 17 Bizarre College Courses • 6 Some Student Stats • 7 5 Weird College News Items, 2003 • 8 8 Ways in Which the Bible Would Be Different If College Students Had Written it • 9 8 Presidents Who Never Attended College • 10 Top 10 TV Shows Among College Students • 10 Top 10 Magazines Among College Students • 10 Top 5 Newspapers Among College Students • 10 The 13 Most Important Issues Currently Facing the Nation, According to College Students • 11 What College Students Really Want • 11 The Best Student Publications • 11 The Top 12 College Radio Stations • 13 2002 CBI National Student Production Award Winners for Television • 15 15 College Urban Legends • 16 2002 CBI National Student Production Award Winners for Radio • 17 10 Haunted Colleges • 20
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The 25 Best College Nicknames • 22 The 10 Oldest Colleges in America • 23 6 Fraternities and Sororities for Gay Students • 24 The 10 Most Difficult Colleges to Get Into • 26 The 4 Youngest College Students • 27 The 5 Most Notorious College Football Rivalries • 28 The 8 Most Common College Mascots • 29 Is Your College Gay-Friendly? • 30 33 Successful People Who Never Graduated from College 14 Celebrities and Their College Majors • 32 10 Famous Resident Assistants • 33 24 Great Movies About College Life • 34 10 College Movie Bloopers • 38 Life According to the Class of 2008 • 40 The 7 Oldest College Graduates • 41
2
•
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College Life 101
Carpe College: The Essential 67 • 44 The College Students’ Bill of Rights • 47 28 Things to Bring to College • 50 What Your Computer Color Says About You • 52 What Your Choice of Computer Font Says About You • 52 Smileys • 53 The 10 Biggest College Time-Wasters • 54 The 8 Hardest Things About Being a Freshman • 54 7 Ways to Tell Right from Wrong • 55 15 Advantages to Living off Campus • 56 16 Advantages to Living on Campus • 57 24 Tips for Getting Along with Your Roommate • 58 The Ideal Roommate for Your Astrological Sign • 60 The Roommates’ Bill of Rights • 61 How to Fight Fair • 63 Dorm Shui: 15 Space-Saving Tips for Small Dorm Rooms • 64
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13 Cheap Decorating Ideas for Your Dorm • 65 29 Instant Messaging Phrases • 66 10 Ways to Make New Friends • 67 10 Cures for Homesickness • 67 18 Ways to Get More Sleep • 68 17 Ways to Avoid the Freshman Fifteen — or Twenty — or Thirty • 70 12 Tips for Surviving the College Cafeteria • 71 How to Eat Healthy at 9 Fast Food Restaurants • 72 14 Safe Snacks • 74 7 Top Snack Preferences Among College Students • 74 What Your Snack Preference Says About You • 74 11 Meals You Can Make in a Toaster Oven • 76 8 Things to Consider Before You Have a Body Part Pierced . . . • 77 . . . and 7 Things to Consider If You’re Going to Do It Anyway • 78 To Tattoo or Not to Tattoo • 79 10 Campus Protest Hot Spots • 80 How to Stage a Successful Campus Protest • 82 How to Handle Racism • 83 Fighting Hate on Campus • 86 Greek Trivia — 15 Facts • 88 6 Myths (and Facts) About Hazing • 89 Stop Hazing Now! • 91 17 Examples of Hazing • 92 4 Bad Reasons for Considering a Transfer to Another College • 93 5 Good Reasons to Transfer • 94 7 Students Who Learned More on Their School Breaks Than They Did in School • 94 9 Good Reasons to Study Abroad • 97 14 Reasons to Skip Class • 98 9 Organizations That Sponsor International Volunteer Programs • 99 10 Questions to Ask Before You Sign Up for an On-line Degree • 101 12 College Habits That Follow You Home • 102
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3
Get Smart
Dave Barry’s Guide to Choosing a Major • 104 8 Simple Secrets of Successful Students • 106 11 Great Motivators • 108 How to Calculate Your GPA • 109 101 Books They Expect You to Have Read by the Time You Get to College • 110 How to Get the Most Out of Orientation • 118 Prof Profiles • 119 What You Can Learn from the Syllabus • 120 15 Tips for Course Selection • 121 How to (Really) Choose Your Major • 122 What Your College Major (Probably) Says About You • 124 5 Ways to Sleep in Class and Look As If You Are Awake • 126 13 Strategies for Managing Your Time • 128 7 Qualities of a Good Mentor • 130 12 Common Supports for Students with Learning Disabilities • 131 How to Size Up a Teacher • 132 10 Things That Annoy Teachers the Most • 132 How to Understand Everything the Professor Says • 133 9 Tips for Meeting with — and Impressing — Your Professors • 133 5 Ways to Ask a Teacher for Help • 134 The 8 Links in the College Food Chain • 135 9 Ways to Deal If the Teacher Hates You • 136 How to Stay on Top of the Grading System • 137 How to Get a Grade Changed • 138 The 10 Best Excuses You Can Give Your Professor If You Get Caught Sleeping in Class • 140 15 Phrases to Listen for When the Teacher Is Lecturing • 140 16 Tips for Taking Great Notes • 141 10 Steps to Writing a Great Essay • 142 70 Abbreviations and Symbols to Use When Taking Notes • 143
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11 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Turn In an Essay • 145 10 Great Sources of Research Information • 146 4 Ways to Avoid Plagiarism • 147 How to Give a Great Speech, No Matter How Nervous You Are • 148 How to Win a Debate, Hands Down • 150 8 Professional On-line Homework Help Resources • 151 How to Customize Your Textbook • 152 How to Preread Any Book in 30 Minutes or Less • 153 8 Ways to Jog Your Memory • 154 12 Mnemonic Devices • 155 16 Exercises for Overcoming Math Anxiety • 156 The 3 Worst Places to Study • 159 5 Aromas That Help Keep You Mentally Alert • 159 The 4 Best Places to Study • 159 If You Study to Music • 160 10 Exercises You Can Do at Your Desk • 161 7 Common Distractions from Studying • 162 10 Study Habits That Really Work • 162 How to Study • 164 How to Form Your Own Study Group • 165 5 Myths About Tests • 166 28 Tips for Improving Your Test Score Without Even Studying • 167 10 Exercises for Your Brain • 168 10 Foods You Should Eat Before a Test • 171 15 Tips for Reducing Test Anxiety • 171 6 Aromas That Will Help You Relax • 172 What to Do If You Catch Someone Cheating • 174 What to Do If You Are Caught Cheating • 175 How to Deal with Failure Successfully • 176 What You Can Do About an F • 177 30 Steps to Writing a Great Term Paper — NOT! • 178 You Know You’ve Been in College Too Long When . . . • 179
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4
Party Hearty
11 College Pranks, from Stupid to Spectacular • 182 How to Fit In Anywhere • 183 10 Reasons Studying Is Better Than Sex • 184 Go Greek! • 184 Don’t Go Greek! • 185 How to Size Up a Club • 187 How to Start a Club • 188 12 Ways to Make Sure Spring Break Is Fun • 188 Top 6 Spring Break Locations • 189 Spring Break Packing Checklist • 190 10 Ways to Feel Better About Yourself — Instantly! • 191 6 Ways to Tell a Friend to Cool It • 192 7 Reasons Not to Drink • 193 How to Drink Responsibly • 194 8 Statistics About Drinking on Campus That Speak for Themselves • 195 9 Hangover Cures, Just in Case You Blow It • 196 10 Nonalcoholic Cocktails • 196 11 Zero-Proof Games • 197 15 Drugs You Shouldn’t Take (and What Will Happen If You Do) • 200 College Fads Through the Ages • 201 Drug Use on College Campuses • 203 10 STDs and What You Should Do About Them • 203 13 Ways to Get Dates • 206 11 Tips for Speed-Dating • 206 6 Reasons Not to Date Your Professors • 207 18 Tips for Shy Students • 208 25 Cheap Dates • 209 Date Rape — and Beyond • 210 What You Should Know About Date Rape • 211 8 Examples of Sexual Harassment • 212 12 Misconceptions About Birth Control • 214 Sexetiquette • 216
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Practical Matters
How to Make All Four Years Count • 220 The ABCs of Success • 224 How to Break Bad News to the ’Rents • 226 The 10 Best National Discounts and Freebies for Students • 228 How to Identify Scholarship Scams • 229 8 Facts About the Federal Work-Study Program • 230 How to Avoid Scholarship Scams • 231 7 Things They Don’t Tell You About Loans and Scholarships • 231 6 Kinds of College Loans • 232 14 Interesting Scholarship Programs for Undergraduates That You May Not Know About • 233 4 Federal Tax Credits for Students • 235 10 Wacky Scholarships and Grants • 236 9 Characteristics of the High-Risk Student • 237 25 Money-Saving Tips for the Economically Challenged Student • 238 6 Ways to Get Cheap Textbooks • 239 1 Reason Not to Buy a Used Computer • 241 6 Ways to Get the ’Rents to Send More Money . . . • 241 . . . and 4 Ways for Them to Get It to You Fast • 241 6 Tips for Finding a Job on Campus • 242 5 Tips for Getting the Best Internships • 242 20 Off-the-Wall Ways to Make Money • 244 11 More Traditional Ways to Make Money • 245 How to Balance Schoolwork and Your Job • 245 10 Stain-Removing Hints • 247 6 Tips for Choosing a Bank • 248 9 Tips for Managing Your Checking Account • 248 Glossary of College Finance Terms • 249 10 Things You Should Know About Credit Cards • 251 3 Alternatives to Regular Credit Cards • 252 32 Dorm Safety Tips • 253 22 Personal Safety Tips • 254 What You Should Know About Reporting Campus Crimes • 255 contents
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7 ATM Safety Tips • 256 10 Signs of Depression • 257 7 Ways to Handle Depression • 257 5 Tips for Coping with Disaster • 258 19 National Hotlines You Might Need • 260 11 Laundry Tips • 263 Cars on Campus • 264 15 Ways to Lower Your Car Insurance Costs • 264 What to Do If You Get Arrested • 266
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Brave New World: Life After College
23 Things That Will Change the Second You Graduate • 268 10 Common Fears of College Grads • 269 10 Questions to Ask Before You Take a Risk • 270 10 Essential Tips for Networking • 270 The 9 Most Common Lies Job Applicants Tell • 271 18 Things You Can Do If You Just Graduated and Have No Idea Whatsoever About What You Want to Do with the Rest of Your Life • 272 14 Ways to Describe Yourself • 273 Graduation Etiquette • 274 11 Questions You Should Always Be Prepared to Answer • 275 11 Creative Things You Can Do With Your Diploma • 276 Great Graduation Gifts • 276 8 Ways to Make Sure Your Graduation Day Is Memorable • 277 37 Great Commencement Addresses • 279 Cap and Gown Trivia • 284 Arguments Against Grad School • 285 Arguments for Grad School • 285 10 Tips for Finding the Best Graduate Schools • 286 6 Reasons to Join a Professional Association • 288
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So You Want to Be a Philosopher • 288 6 Ways to Get the Alumni Association to Work for You • 289 How to Be a Good Alum • 290 7 Ways to Turn Your Favorite Pastime into a Career • 291 Possible Career Choices • 292 How to Get a Job as a Teaching Assistant • 296 How to Use the Internet to Find a Job • 296 The 10 Fastest-Growing Occupations, 2000–2010 • 298 17 Tips for Acing Any Job Interview • 299 How to Dress Like a College Graduate • 300 What They’re Looking For • 302 How to Ask For — and Get — Great References • 302 12 Questions to Ask a Potential Employer • 304 The 5 Biggest Mistakes Job Interviewees Make • 304 The 6 Biggest Mistakes People Make on Their Resumes • 305 7 Things to Ask for If They Won’t Meet Your Salary Requirements • 306 102 Words That Will Look Good on Your Resume • 307 12 Advantages of Moving Back Home • 308 What to Do If You Can’t Pay Back Your Student Loan • 308 9 Ways to Get Out of Repaying Your College Loan • 310 4 Reasons That Stafford Loans Are Forgiven • 310 You and the IRS • 310 7 Steps to Establishing Credit • 312 How to Scratch Your Entrepreneurial Itch • 313 The 8 Most Unpredicted Living Costs • 314 The 5 Biggest Surprises for Those Who Have Never Rented an Apartment Before • 314 10 Clauses to Avoid When Signing a Lease • 315 17 Questions to Ask When Renting an Apartment • 316 3 Things to Do If You Experience Housing Discrimination • 317 How to Keep Learning Forever • 317
Index 319
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INTRODUCTION
W
e wrote this book with three important points in mind:
1. You’re busy. Yeah, like you have time to read another book. Fact is, you’re already loaded down with enough textbooks to break Arnold Schwarzenegger’s back. So here’s what we did: we culled the most important information from hundreds of Web sites, books, magazines, scientific studies, and the experts themselves to present you with the essentials. Do you really have time to read a guide to college that spends six pages urging you to get involved in extracurricular activities (duh?) or thirty pages suggesting that you adhere to the kinds of safety precautions with which most third graders are already familiar? College in a Can dispenses with the lectures and gives you the information you need in a concise, fun format. No need to read this book from beginning to end — jump in anywhere. You have your own priorities, and whatever they are, we’ve tried to address them all. We’re hoping that you’ll thumb through the pages to find your own beginning, middle, and end, and that you’ll find something useful everywhere you look. 2. You’re smart. You wouldn’t have gotten into college without the ability to figure out certain basics for yourself. You already know that impressing your teachers will help you toward your goals, whatever they are. But did you know that there are five basic “prof profiles” and that there are simple ways to get on the good side of even the most challenging types? Similarly, we assume you’ve already figured out that you need to study for exams. But did you know that certain foods can help keep you alert during tests? We offer these, along with the best study tips and shortcuts out there, in the hope that you’ll find the most efficient methods that work for you. Think of yourself as being in
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college not necessarily to learn everything you need to know, but to learn how to learn in a classroom that’s even more important than the one you’re in now: life. 3. You’re there to have fun, too. We’re positive that some of the most important lessons you absorb in college won’t be learned in the classroom, so we’ve included plenty of information to help you through the parties, the relationships, and the good times that make up the college experience. We’re hopeful you’ll get a great education in the years that you attend college, but what a shame it would be to miss out on the fun of what could be the most carefree years of your life. The college urban legends you’ll find here, along with our list of wacky grants and scholarships, best movies about college, and Dave Barry’s hilarious guide to choosing a major, are included to remind you that laughter and good humor can help get you through the most trying times.
T
hink of college as the most lavish buffet you will ever experience. Try it all. Once you find your favorites, don’t be shy about going back for more.
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Collegeville, U.S.A.
top 10 worst reasons for choosing a college Despite all the information available, many students select a college for all the wrong reasons. Here Joseph A. Fantozzi Sr., associate director of admissions at New York City’s Hunter College, states the absolute worst reasons for choosing a particular college. Surf the CollegeBound Network (www.CollegeBound.net) for more information. (Reprinted with permission from CollegeBound on-line magazine.) 1. “It’s the cheapest.” Don’t assume that you can’t afford an expensive college, even if your family doesn’t qualify for government aid. Most private colleges offer scholarships of their own, including many that are merit-based. Even if you are not a top student (although that certainly helps!), you may possess some other quality for which an alumnus or private donor has set up a special scholarship. Contact the financial aid office at the college for more information. 2. “It’s the most expensive.” On the other hand, don’t assume that the higher the tuition, the better the school. Public colleges are often able to provide a high quality education at a reasonable price, thanks to government support. 3. “They’ve offered me the most scholarship money.” Don’t compare apples with oranges. If college “A” is offering $5,000 in grants, and college “B” is only offering $1,000, college “A” must be the better deal, right? Not necessarily. Subtract the amount of grants from the total cost of education at each school in order to get the real cost of attending. And remember: Most scholarships have conditions attached (i.e., you must maintain full-time status and a certain grade point average in order to retain the award). 4. “I know I’ll get in.” While it’s important to apply to a “safety school,” one for which you are well qualified, don’t cross your dream college off the list without first doing your homework. Although most schools are vague when it comes to revealing admissions criteria, you can get a sense of your chances of acceptance by reviewing the profile of the previous year’s fresh-
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man class. Ask about mean SAT scores, the range of high school averages, the number of students with class ranking similar to yours, and the percentage of all applicants that were accepted. If you think you might be a “borderline” case, find out which secondary factors are considered (e.g., interviews, essays, letters of recommendation, extra curricular activities) and make sure you are competitive in these areas. 5. “They offer the hottest ‘Who-Wants-to-Be-a-Millionaire-by-Age-25’ major.” While it’s fine to set high goals for yourself (including financial goals), it’s important to be realistic. No college can guarantee financial success for each of its graduates. It’s going to depend largely on your ambition, hard work, and luck. Also, since many college students end up changing majors, it’s a good idea to enroll at a college that has a wide selection of programs. 6. “They’re ranked number one in the Moron’s Guide to Colleges and Universities.” There are a number of excellent guidebooks that offer information about colleges and universities, all of which should be considered important resources in your selection process. However, be careful about those rankings. Take a good look at the criteria on which the rankings are based; some of these factors may not be that important to you. Stick to the hard facts (student-faculty ratio, class size, percentage of courses taught by teaching assistants, etc.). 7. “The campus is pretty.” Although aesthetics are important (after all, you don’t want to spend the next four years in a dump), you need to look beyond the beautiful to the practical. What will it be like in February when you are crossing the quad with a stiff winter breeze blowing at the icicles forming on your nose? If it’s a very large campus, ask about transportation between buildings. 8. “My favorite celebrity went there.” Colleges love to turn to successful, well-known alumni when promoting their schools. This is fine, as long as the alum’s degree is fairly recent and had something to do with his accomplishments. If a highly successful Wall Street executive majored in business six years ago at Lotsabucks U, that might be an indication of the quality of that school’s business program. However, if a philosophy major
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from the College of Existentialism happens to become a famous actress twenty years after graduating, that doesn’t really tell you much about the college’s quality. 9. “It’s a great party school.” It’s important to pick a school that has an active campus life, whether you plan to live on campus or commute. A major part of your college experience, after all, will come from interacting with other students in clubs, organizations, and social situations. If there are too many distractions, however, you may have difficulty concentrating on studying, not to mention attending 8 a.m. classes. 10. “It’s where my boyfriend or girlfriend is going.” Get real! If the relationship ends, you may find yourself trying to figure out how you ended up at a college that doesn’t suit you in any way. If the relationship survives, the distraction might just affect your grades and/or stifle your social life. Either way, you’ll most likely find yourself wishing you’d given your college choice more serious thought.
12 things you probably wish you had known before you got to college 1. You’ll want to sleep through your first class no matter how late you scheduled it. 2. College kids also throw paper airplanes and spitballs. 3. Nobody cares how smart you were in high school or that you were the editor of the yearbook. 4. You can go out on a school night. 5. You can study really hard and still fail a test. 6. You can know nothing and sometimes get an A on a test. 7. You can get along with any roommate if you try hard enough. 8. Being homesick isn’t nearly as annoying as actually going home for a visit. 9. Some of the most valuable lessons you’ll learn won’t be in class. 10. You could be one of those people that your parents warned you about.
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11. You can feel lonely even when you are surrounded by friends. 12. Friendships come in many shapes and sizes.
7 things about ivy league schools that they don’t want you to know Attending an Ivy League college is prestigious and expensive. But some say it’s really not worth it. Here’s why. 1. The expense of an Ivy League education doesn’t always translate into higher career earnings. Bright students attending other universities can do just as well if not better than Ivy Leaguers. 2. Ivy enrollments are made up of as much as 40 percent legatees (the sons and daughters of former alumni), who generally have lower admission standards than other students. This has the effect of giving other students a lower acceptance rate. 3. The bragging rights of parents are far outweighed by the stress felt by their kids. 4. Grades are sometimes inflated at the Ivy League schools, who strive to maintain an image. It may be more difficult to get into Harvard than it would be to maintain a good GPA there. 5. It is often better to attend a university that has a great reputation for a particular field of study than an Ivy whose program is not as comprehensive. 6. Some of the professors, while considered tops in their fields and great thinkers, are actually not very effective as teachers. They sometimes spend more time involved in their own research and projects than focusing on their students. 7. Some students claim that going to an Ivy is all about making connections and not much else.
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he average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
collegeville, u.s.a.
— J. Frank Dobie (teacher and folklorist)
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17 bizarre college courses If your parents are footing the bill for your college education, they might think twice about paying for one of these courses. 1. “Philosophy and Star Trek” at Georgetown University (Washington, D.C.) examines such questions as “Is Data a real person?”, “Is time travel possible?”, and “Can a person survive death?” 2. “Seeing Queerly: Queer Theory, Film, and Video” at Brown University (Providence, R.I.) asks, “While cinema has typically circumscribed vision along (heterosexually) normative lines, can film also empower viewers to see ‘queerly’?” 3. “Cultural History of Rap” at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) (Los Angeles, Calif.) offers a discussion on rap’s “musical and verbal qualities, philosophical and political ideologies, gender representation, and influences on cinema and popular culture.” 4. “Death, Suicide and Trauma” at UCLA examines the “definition and taxonomy of death; new permissiveness and taboos related to death; romanticization of death; role of individual in his own demise; modes of death; development of ideas of death through life . . . partial death, megadeath [not the band]; lethally psychological autopsy; death of institutions and cultures.” 5. “Language and Sexual Diversity” at the University of Minnesota deals with the usage of language in “lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities” and the “ways in which sexual diversity affects language use.” 6. “Women’s Studies 348,” offered at Maine’s Bowdoin College (Brunswick, Maine), asks the central question, “Is Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony a marvel of abstract architecture culminating in a gender-free paean to human solidarity, or does it model the process of rape?” 7. “Sex and Death” at Carnegie Mellon University (Pittsburgh, Pa.) examines the question of “whether we need to liberate death now that (maybe) we have figured sex out.” Huh? 8. “The Bible and Horror” at Georgetown University seeks
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to answer the question: “What might religion and horror (or the monstrous) have in common?” 9. “Conspiracy Theories,” a class at the University of Maine, Machias, lets students track such odd occurrences as unusual deaths, rumored government intrigue, and extraterrestrial sightings. 10. “Ecofeminism” at the University of Florida (Gainesville, Fla.) addresses the notion that “Western tradition’s naturalization of women and feminization of nature, drawing the conclusion that the domination of women and the domination of nature are intimately connected and mutually reinforcing.” 11. “Race and Sport in African-American Life” at the University of Texas is concerned with “how sports have been used to justify and promote antiquated, eugenic and ultimately racist notions of blackness.”
SOME STUDENT STATS Student Monitor is a research firm that clocks the habits of college students for the purpose of selling this information to marketers, who in turn try to sell you everything under the sun. Their studies are conducted annually among 1,200 students in one hundred different schools. This list, and the five that follow, are taken from 2003 studies. • One-third of all college students come from just four states: Pennsylvania, Ohio, Texas, and Massachusetts. • There are approximately 9.2 million students currently enrolled in fouryear colleges. • The top two hundred schools represent 50 percent of the national student population. • Forty-three percent of all students live off campus. • Eighty-five percent of all students attend college in the same state as their residence. • In a typical month, students make fifteen long-distance phone calls. • Nearly half of all students visit the Internet more than once daily. • Fifty-five percent of college students with credit cards pay off their entire balance each month. • The average monthly credit card bill for college students is $725.
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12. “Bodies Politic: Queer Theory and Literature of the Body” at Cornell University (Ithaca, N.Y.) ponders such notions as “How do concepts of perversion and degeneration haunt the idea of the social body?” and “How are individual bodies stigmatized, encoded and read within the social sphere?” 13. “Daytime Serials: Family and Social Roles” is a course given at the University of Wisconsin (Madison, Wisc.) on soap operas. Will Sonny leave Carly? Will Jack and Brenda ever get back together? 14. “Ghost Hunting 101” is a continuing-education course offered at the University of Louisville. It includes field trips to seek out the causes of paranormal occurrences. 15. “Tough Women in Detective Fiction,” at Washington & Jefferson College (Washington, Pa.), is an English course that examines heroines from pulp fiction to TV police dramas. 16. “Handwriting Analysis for Personal and Career Growth” at Bellarmine University (Louisville, Ky.) will help students learn “how you think, behave, and come across to other people.” 17. “Prisons in Theory and Practice,” offered at San Diego State University (San Diego, Calif.), includes a five-day tour of eight prisons at which criminal justice majors are lectured by hardened inmates and have to observe dress and behavior rules.
5 weird college news items, 2003 1. In order to gain better working conditions and increased pay, female nude models at the Moore College of Art and Design in Philadelphia join a union. They maintain that posing in the nude is grueling work and that the lack of adequate heaters and private changing areas warranted this action. 2. After months of negotiating, the Kentucky Mountain Bible College had the 666 prefix in their phone number changed: “666” is the biblical mark of the beast, or the devil. 3. The manufacturers of Lifestyles condoms conducted the largest and most accurate measurement of penis size ever. Company representatives went to Cancun, Mexico, during Spring Break and got one thousand guys to drop their trousers, get
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aroused, and let a team of nurses measure them individually. The guys were supplied with appropriate magazines and other items to put them in the mood. Each penis was measured by two of the four nurses. 4. A Teamsters local in Oakland, California, protested Mills College’s use of goats to clear brush off its land. Since the union has a contract with Mills, a Teamsters official said the college should either replace the goats with union members or unionize the goats. 5. Every year the students at Wesleyan University in Lincoln, Nebraska, hold an event called the Rat Olympics. But now the U.S. Olympic Committee has demanded that the name be changed because it infringes on its own name. The event — involving a long jump, tightrope walk, rope climb, weightlifting, and hurdles — will be renamed.
8 ways in which the bible would be different if college students had written it 1. The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning — cold. 2. The Ten Commandments would actually be only five — double-spaced and written in a large font. 3. A new edition would be published every two years in order to limit reselling. 4. Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn’t cafeteria food. 5. Paul’s letter to the Romans would become Paul’s e-mail to
[email protected]. 6. Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates. 7. Reason Moses and his followers walked in the desert for forty years: They didn’t want to ask directions and look like freshmen. 8. Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.
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8 PRESIDENTS WHO NEVER ATTENDED COLLEGE 1. 2. 3. 4.
George Washington Andrew Jackson Martin Van Buren Zachary Taylor
5. 6. 7. 8.
Millard Fillmore Abraham Lincoln Andrew Johnson Grover Cleveland
top 10 tv shows among college students According to Student Monitor: 1. American Idol 2. Friends 3. MTV 4. The Simpsons 5. Real World
6. The Osbournes 7. The Sopranos 8. Saturday Night Live 9. Cribs 10. Road Rules
top 10 magazines among college students According to Student Monitor: 1. Cosmopolitan 2. Maxim 3. Sports Illustrated 4. People 5. Time
6. Rolling Stone 7. Glamour 8. Newsweek 9. ESPN: The Magazine 10. Seventeen
top 5 newspapers among college students According to Student Monitor: 1. New York Times 2. USA Today 3. Wall Street Journal
4. Los Angeles Times 5. Washington Post
And 52 percent of the students polled don’t read any newspapers at all.
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the 13 most important issues currently facing the nation, according to college students According to Student Monitor: 1. War 2. Terrorism 3. The national economy 4. AIDS 5. Crime 6. Moral values 7. Drugs
8. Biological/chemical attack 9. The world economy 10. Abortion 11. Health care 12. The quality of education 13. Civil liberties
what college students really want Students polled (by Student Monitor) indicated these as their primary goals, listed here in order of the most popular response. 1. Satisfying career 2. Happy marriage 3. College education for their kids 4. A job that pays more than an average salary 5. Good friends 6. An interesting job 7. Control of their own schedules 8. Lots of money 9. A job that makes a contribution to society
the best student publications Since 1925, the Columbia Scholastic Press Association (CSPA) has awarded annual gold and silver prizes for collegiate publications in the categories of magazines, newspapers, and yearbooks. Publications are judged on writing/editing, design, content, concept, photography, and arts and graphics. The gold crown winners represent the top awards; silver crown winners take second place. Here are the results of the 2003 competition. collegeville, u.s.a.
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GOLD CROWN MAGAZINES The Briar Cliff Review, Briar Cliff University (Sioux City, Iowa)
GOLD CROWN NEWSPAPERS College Heights Herald, Western Kentucky University (Bowling Green, Ky.) Daily News, Ball State University (Muncie, Ind.) Daily Northwestern, Northwestern University (Evanston, Ill.) F Newsmagazine, School of the Art Institute of Chicago (Chicago, Ill.) Indiana Daily Student, Indiana University (Bloomington, Ind.) Kansas State Collegian, Kansas State University (Manhattan, Kans.)
GOLD CROWN YEARBOOKS Corks and Curls, University of Virginia (Charlottesville, Va.) Royal Purple, Kansas State University (Manhattan, Kans.) Sooner, University of Oklahoma (Norman, Okla.)
SILVER CROWN MAGAZINES Convergence, Humber College-School of Media Studies (Toronto, Ontario, Canada) Dollars & Sense, Baruch College/CUNY (New York, N.Y.) Hair Trigger 24, Columbia College Chicago (Chicago, Ill.)
SILVER CROWN NEWSPAPERS Crimson White, University of Alabama (Tuscaloosa, Ala.) The Daily Texan, University of Texas at Austin (Austin, Tex.) El Don, Santa Ana College (Santa Ana, Calif.) Iowa State Daily, Iowa State University (Ames, Iowa) Michigan Daily, University of Michigan (Ann Arbor, Mich.) Murray State News, Murray State University (Murray, Ky.) Shorthorn, University of Texas at Arlington (Arlington, Tex.) State Press, Arizona State University (Tempe, Ariz.)
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SILVER CROWN YEARBOOKS The Bluestone, James Madison University (Harrisonburg, Va.) Bruinlife, University of California, Los Angeles (Los Angeles, Calif.) Ibis, University of Miami (Coral Gables, Fla.) Michiganensian, University of Michigan (Ann Arbor, Mich.) Rotunda, Southern Methodist University (Dallas, Tex.)
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university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in the students. — John Ciardi (American poet)
the top 12 college radio stations Steve Leeds is well known throughout the music biz as a record promoter, and we’re grateful to him for this list of his picks for the best college radio stations in the country. 1. WFUV is the listener-supported radio station of Fordham University. The station originates from the Bronx, N.Y., at 90.7FM. Given the geography of Manhattan, it is a challenged signal, and the station is working on getting a secondary signalrepeater in Manhattan proper. While it is an NPR affiliate, the station’s on-air staff are paid professionals. Among the DJs are five veterans from NYC’s WNEW-FM. The programming is an eclectic mixture with an emphasis on singer/songwriters and folk. 2. KCRW is the community station of Santa Monica Community College that serves the L.A. community, Orange County, Palm Springs, Ventura, and Santa Barbara. The award-winning station broadcasts at 89.9FM. It is member-supported, and is also an NPR affiliate. Its eclectic programming includes news, public affairs, and radio drama, but the station’s true forte is its music programming. Such high-profile shows as “Morning Becomes Eclectic” and “Chocolate City” are quite influential in the Hollywood media scene. Music Director Nic Harcourt, aside
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from hosting “Morning Becomes Eclectic,” has a national profile and is often called upon to host or moderate national events. 3. WXPN is the noncommercial public radio station of the University of Pennsylvania. It broadcasts throughout the greater Philadelphia area and southern New Jersey at 88.5FM, with a reach extending to Baltimore and Harrisburg. The station’s programming is an eclectic mix of music including jazz, folk, world beat, and alternative rock. WXPN is staffed by industry professionals but supplemented by interns and volunteers. WXPN’s signature show, “World Café,” is syndicated and hosted by David Dye. Programming executive Bruce Warren is nationally known and highly respected in the noncommercial radio universe. 4. WERS is the listener-supported radio station of Emerson College in Boston. Broadcasting at 88.9FM, it is one of the few stations in a major market that is 100 percent student run. This provides students under the direction of a professional staff a real opportunity to learn about broadcasting. The station programs a true mixture of all types of musical genres and provides a healthy schedule of live musical performances. 5. KUSF is the radio of the University of San Francisco, broadcasting at 90.3FM. The station is staffed by interns and volunteers and is truly a community effort, as a lot of the programming is underwritten by local merchants. Their programming schedule reflects the diversity and multicultural aspects of the Bay Area. KUSF has been given the rights to be the San Francisco affiliate of the New York Metropolitan Opera. While much of the typical broadcast day is devoted to new music, daily fare also includes astrology; Chinese, Jewish, Turkish, Polish, German, and Brazilian programming; and ragtime. 6. WRAS is the student-run radio station of Georgia State University. The station is staffed 100 percent by both undergrads and grads. Broadcasting at 88.5FM, it originates in Atlanta and provides a viable musical alternative for the local music scene. Other than broadcasting the school’s sports teams, the bulk of the daily programming is music, hence their handle “Album 88.” 7. WDET has unique origins. It started in 1949 as a community station owned by the United Auto Workers Union, primarily to serve its members. The union gave the station to Wayne
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2002 CBI NATIONAL STUDENT PRODUCTION AWARD WINNERS FOR TELEVISION Collegiate Broadcasters Inc. (CBI) addresses itself to students involved in radio, television, Webcasting, and other related media ventures. Their annual awards are presented for commitment to education and the pursuit of excellence through active involvement in electronic media. These were awarded in 2003.
Best Newscast: Colorado State University (Fort Collins, Colo.) Best News Reporting: Ithaca College (Ithaca, N.Y.) Best Feature Broadcast: Rowan University (Glassboro, N.J.) Best Technical Production: University of Miami (Miami, Fla.) Best Sportscast: University of La Verne (La Verne, Calif.) Best Sports Play-By-Play: University of La Verne (La Verne, Calif.) Best Music Video Production: Pepperdine University (Malibu, Calif.) Best Public Service Announcement: University of Texas at Austin (Austin, Tex.)
State University in 1952. WDET is Detroit’s NPR affiliate and broadcasts at 101.9FM. Although the station carries hourly news and some of NPR’s daily features, the bulk of its programming is locally programmed music. WDET is staffed by professionals, supplemented by community volunteers and interns. 8. WSOU is the college station for Seton Hall University based in South Orange, N.J., that broadcasts at 89.5FM. WSOU’s unique proximity to New York City has allowed the station to have a great musical impact on the rock scene. Until a few years ago, WSOU was the premier “metal” radio station. University officials forced some mainstream into WSOU’s format, and early support for acts like Sevendust, Megadeth, White Zombie, and even Pearl Jam helped develop regional consumer awareness. Currently WSOU’s programming also includes news and sports, as well as an eclectic modern rock mix. 9. KXEP broadcasts at 90.3FM as the listener-supported radio station of the University of Washington in Seattle. Programming is predominantly a mixture of musical genres with some public affairs weekend programs. Some of the on-air hosts are industry types, although KXEP has both high school and collegeville, u.s.a.
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college internships. From the music industry perspective, Seattle has always been and continues to be a hotbed for new talent as well as a significant retail market for the consumption of new cutting edge music. Hence the importance of KXEP to the industry. 10. WDBM is the student-run radio station for Michigan State University in East Lansing, broadcasting at 88.9FM. Known as “Impact 89,” the station is staffed by students but overseen by faculty staff member/founder Gary Reid. The programming is music-based with a wide spectrum of genres and, in the absence of any other local outlet for modern rock programming, WDBM has a significant audience. As a side note, radio consultant and Classic Rock founder Fred Jacobs got his master’s and taught radio at MSU. 11. WVFS is the volunteer-run radio station for Florida State University in Tallahassee. It broadcasts at 89.7FM and is known as V89. It is positioned as a training facility for both students and the community. Programming is predominantly a blend of musical genres with news and call-in programs. While the school may not be known for its telecommunications program, V89’s existence has created a niche for local commercial broadcasters to launch a modern rock broadcast outlet. 12. WTUL is the student-run radio station of Tulane University in New Orleans. Broadcasting at 91.5FM, the station is funded by the student body, with supplementary support from local businesses. There is a full-time adviser on staff. WTUL describes its 100 percent music-programming format as progressive, meaning it offers a true alternative to what is heard on commercial radio. The station also publishes a monthly local arts magazine, Vox.
15 college urban legends Mention the phrase “urban legend” to most people and they’ll think of alligators in the sewers or the criminally insane fugitive with a hook for an arm. College culture has spawned its own equivalents. Did any of these really happen? We’re not sure, but our neighbor’s cousin’s housekeeper swears these are true!
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2002 CBI NATIONAL STUDENT PRODUCTION AWARD WINNERS FOR RADIO Best Newscast: WNUR — Northwestern University (Chicago, Ill.) Best News Reporting: WUAL — University of Alabama (Tuscaloosa, Ala.) Best Feature Reporting: WNUR — Northwestern University (Chicago, Ill.) Best Documentary: WMUL — Marshall University (Huntington, W. Va.) Best Technical Production: KTSW — Southwest Texas State University (San Marcos, Tex.)
Best Sports Reporting: WNUR — Northwestern University (Chicago, Ill.) Best Sports Play-by-Play: WGLS — Rowan University (Glassboro, N.J.) Best DJ Aircheck: WCRX — Columbia College (Chicago, Ill.) Best Promo for Station or Student Media Outlet: KTSW — Southwest Texas State University (San Marcos, Tex.)
Best Public Service Announcement: KTUH — University of Hawaii at Manoa (Honolulu, Hawaii)
Best Advertisement: WZND — Illinois State University (Normal, Ill.) Best Advertising Production: KCSU — Colorado State University (Fort Collins, Colo.)
Best Student Media Web site: WZND — Illinois State University (Normal, Ill.)
1. “A Final Solution.” A student, while taking his finals, snaps under the pressure and thrusts two sharpened pencils up his nostrils and into his brain, killing himself instantly. 2. “Safety in Numbers.” A student having a difficult time finishing an important exam writes for a full five minutes after the professor has called “Pencils down.” The professor disqualifies the student when the exam is finally handed in. The student asks the professor: “Do you have any idea who I am?” The professor replies, “No, but I’ll certainly know who you are when I give you a failing grade.” The student knocks the finished exams out of the professor’s hands, mixes his in with the pile, and runs out of the room. He gets a B+. 3. “Halloween Massacre.” A psychic guest who predicted the World Trade Tower disaster on Oprah predicts that a serial
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killer dressed as Little Bo Peep will appear on a Big Ten campus in Michigan on Halloween. The killer will murder about twenty people in a dorm located near railroad tracks with a name beginning with an “H.” 4. “The Kidney Snatchers.” A drunken student wakes up completely naked in a bathtub filled with ice. He looks down at his chest, which has “CALL 911 OR YOU WILL DIE” written on it in lipstick. He calls immediately. The EMS operator tells him to check his back. He does, only to find a nine-inch slit on his lower back and that one of his kidneys — worth $10,000 on the black market — has been stolen. 5. “Nightmare Picnic.” A premed student and his girlfriend go on a picnic. They are making love in a clearing underneath a tree when a thunderstorm erupts. Lightning strikes them and fuses their bodies together. The guy survives but his girlfriend doesn’t. As they lie there, welded together, a bear smelling food on the girl’s face begins eating the girl’s body while her date is powerless to do anything. 6. “The Fatal Tan.” A young coed is so intent on looking good at the prom that she ignores the safety warnings that she is to tan for only thirty minutes a day. After her first session she decides she needs a deeper tan, so she goes to another salon where she tans for an additional half hour. She then goes to a third salon for another session and then a fourth. The following day she is found dead, her internal organs fried by the tanning beds. 7. “The Tragic A.” It is believed that a standard college regulation specifies that a student whose roommate commits suicide automatically receive a 4.0 grade point average for the current school term. The type of death required to qualify a student for a 4.0 average varies. At different schools it is said that a roommate’s murder, accidental death, violent death, slow drawn-out death (such as cancer), or death from any cause is covered by the regulation. Murdering your own roommate disqualifies you, however. Another version specifies that a dead roommate entitles one to free tuition that year. (This legend was the basis of two films made in 1998, Dead Man on Campus and Dead Man’s Curve.)
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8. “Pavlov’s Professor.” A psychology class learning about conditioning decides that they want to try it out on their professor. They’ll train him only to write on the right half of the blackboard. When he’s writing on the left side, they are noisy and don’t pay attention. When he writes on the right side, they listen attentively. They finally have him so well trained he uses only a tiny corner of the board when he writes. Another variation of this legend eventually has the professor standing on one leg while lecturing. 9. “The Make-up Exam.” Two students go skiing for the weekend. They decide to blow off the math exam that they have scheduled for Monday morning so that they can get some final runs in before they head back to school. They tell their professor that they had a flat tire and couldn’t get back in time for the exam. The professor agrees to give them a make-up exam the following day. He puts them in separate classrooms. The first part of the exam, worth 10 percent of the grade, is quite easy, and both students breeze right through it. The second portion, worth 90 percent, has only one question: “Which tire?” 10. “Sinking Libraries.” College and university libraries across the country are rumored to be sinking because the architect forgot to figure the weight of all the books into the design. 11. “Blinded by the Light.” A group of college students drops acid at the beach and stares at the sun until they all go totally blind. 12. “Madonna’s Revenge.” Statues on a college campus come to life when a virgin coed walks by. 13. “Good Will Hunting.” A student arrives late for math class and finds two problems written on the blackboard. Believing the problems to be homework, he copies them in his notebook. A few days later he hands the solutions in to his professor. The professor turns up at the student’s door a few weeks later with the student’s solutions written up for publication. Turns out that the two problems were not a homework assignment after all — they were problems previously thought to be unsolvable, and which the instructor had used as examples in his lecture that day. 14. “Follow Directions!” A professor hands out a test con-
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sisting of a long worksheet with a list of forty instructions. The first item on the list reads “Read everything on this page before commencing.” Succeeding instructions include things like “draw a triangle,”“write your name backwards,”“clap your hands when you reach #12,”“when you reach #20 stand up and say ‘I’ve reached line 15.’” As the legend goes, various students reach these points and make the proper announcements. But only those students who truly followed the directions and read all instructions first save themselves trouble: the fortieth instruction reads, “Do only commands 1 and 40.” 15. “Essay Question.” A final exam consists of only one question: “What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?” An unprepared student hands in his paper with only the following: “I don’t know and I don’t care.” He gets an A+.
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cademe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught. — Ambrose Bierce (American author and satirist)
10 haunted colleges Does your college have things that go bump in the night? The colleges listed below are all reputed to be haunted. 1. The Academy Building at Bradford College (Bradford, Mass.) has had many ghost sightings. Legend has it that when the college had been a girls’ school, a student (Amy) became pregnant by a priest, who tried to prevent the girl from revealing this and killed her. It is her ghost that haunts the college. 2. Jefferson Hall at Camden County College (Camden, N.J.) used to be a monastery before it became a learning institution. A monk who lived there supposedly hanged himself on the third floor of the building. Students of the college have reported hearing footsteps in the halls, and college security guards are said to avoid patrolling this floor of the building. 3. In 1898, Tillie Smith, a kitchen worker at the Centenary Collegiate Institute (Hackettstown, N.J.) was murdered. Reportedly, her ghost has been seen roaming the school grounds ever
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since. The school’s theater company even conducts tours tracing the steps that Millie took on the night she was killed. 4. Many of the students, alumni, and faculty have reported inexplicable occurrences at Centre College (Danville, Ky.). Spirits have been observed walking the halls and opening and closing doors. Breck Hall has been the scene of numerous sightings; students there report having been awakened by intruders that turned lights on and off, opened windows, and turned radios on, although the rooms were locked. 5. Custodians at Columbus State (Cleveland, Ohio) have actually quit their jobs because of mysterious disturbances that some attribute to the fact that the school was built on a site once occupied by a Catholic church. It is reported that the spirits of those who were buried there become annoyed and agitated every time a new structure is placed above them. Some security personnel even refuse to patrol certain floors alone. 6. A light in a room on the upper floor of Drew University (Madison, N.J.) has often appeared to be mysteriously turned on despite the fact that no one can enter the locked room. When security guards investigate, they find no one there, yet chairs and tables in the room are also often rearranged. 7. Lewis and Clark College (Godfrey, Ill.) is said to be haunted by the spirit of Harriet Newell Haskell. She had been with the school for over forty years, was vital to the school’s administration, and was trusted and revered by all the students. It is believed that she never left the school, even after her death. Her footsteps are reportedly heard in the corridors. 8. New Jersey City University (Jersey City, N.J.) is said to be haunted by the ghost of Margret Williams, most likely a former professor at the college. Sightings of her spirit have been reported in a tower just above the Margret Williams Theater. The classroom closest to the theater is also reputed to always be extremely cold, despite the fact that several new heating systems have been installed to heat the room. 9. A number of ghost stories have been associated with Ohio State University (Columbus, Ohio). Pomerene Hall is reputed to be haunted by the ghost of Dr. Clark, a professor who committed suicide there in the early part of the twentieth century. His wife, who swore she would never leave him, haunts collegeville, u.s.a.
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Mirror Lake, which is nearby. Bricker Hall is said to be haunted by the spirit of Herbert Atkinson, a member of the Board of Trustees, who died in the 1950s. His ashes were placed in the wall of the building, and he has been seen drinking punch in the lobby. Similarly, Orton Hall, the oldest building on campus, is said to be haunted by Edward Orton. 10. Several spirits have been seen at Hobart Manor at William Paterson University (Wayne, N.J.). A servant who once lived there has been seen, as has Jennie Hobart, the wife of the former owner of the building. Footsteps, as well as the sounds of a crying baby, have been heard. A man wearing a cape and top hat has also been spotted.
the 25 best college nicknames There are fifty-seven colleges nicknamed the Eagles, forty-four named the Tigers, and forty named the Bulldogs. Here are our picks for nicknames that are a bit more obscure and certainly more original. 1. Anteaters — University of California, Irvine (Irvine, Calif.) 2. Banana Slugs — University of California, Santa Cruz (Santa Cruz, Calif.) 3. Battlin’ Beavers — Blackburn College (Carlinville, Ill.) 4. Black Flies — College of the Atlantic (Bar Harbor, Maine) 5. Blue Hose — Presbyterian College (Clinton, S.C.) 6. Claim Jumpers — Columbia College (Los Angeles, Calif.) 7. Dirtbags — California State University, Long Beach; men’s baseball only (Long Beach, Calif.) 8. Ephs — Williams College (Williamstown, Mass.) 9. Flying Queens — Wayland Baptist University; women’s basketball team (Plainview, Tex.) 10. Geoducks — Evergreen State College (Olympia, Wash.) 11. Gila Monsters — Eastern Arizona College (Thatcher, Ariz.) 12. Hardrockers — South Dakota School of Mines and Technology (Rapid City, S.D.)
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13. Horned Frogs — Texas Christian University (Fort Worth, Tex.) 14. Ichabods — Washburn University (Topeka, Kans.) 15. Keelhaulers — California Maritime Academy (Vallejo, Calif.) 16. Medics — Thomas Jefferson University (Philadelphia, Pa.) 17. Moundbuilders — Southwestern College (Winfield, Kans.) and Southwestern College of Christian Ministries (Bethany, Okla.) 18. The Rock — Slippery Rock University (Slippery Rock, Pa.) 19. Stormy Petrels — Oglethorpe University (Atlanta, Ga.) 20. Student Princes — Heidelberg College (Tiffin, Ohio) 21. Trolls — Trinity Christian College (Palos Heights, Ill.) 22. Vixens — Sweet Briar College (Sweet Briar, Va.) 23. Wahoos — University of Virginia (Charlottesville, Va.) 24. Wonder Boys — Arkansas Tech University (Russelville, Ark.) 25. Zips — University of Akron (Akron, Ohio)
the 10 oldest colleges in america Al-Azhar University, founded in Cairo in 972 a.d., is the world’s oldest university. It was first established as a mosque but was also a center for both religious and secular studies. The following are the oldest universities in the United States: 1. Harvard University (Cambridge, Mass.) was established in 1636 by a vote of the Great and General Court of the Massachusetts Bay Colony. 2. College of William and Mary (Williamsburg, Va.) was chartered by King William III and Queen Mary II in 1693. 3. St. John’s College (Santa Fe, N.M.) was founded in 1696. George Washington’s step-grandson and two nephews attended. 4. Yale University (New Haven, Conn.) was established in 1701 after ten Connecticut congregational clergymen specifically donated books with the intention of founding a college in their colony. collegeville, u.s.a.
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5. In 1749 in Philadelphia, Benjamin Franklin presented his vision of a school in a pamphlet titled Proposals for the Education of Youth in Pensilvania (sic). This led to the formation of the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia, the nation’s first modern liberal arts college, in 1751. 6. Moravian College (Bethlehem, Pa.) was founded by the Moravian Church in 1742. It was originally established as separate schools for men and women, and the two institutions merged in 1954. 7. University of Delaware (Newark, Del.) was founded in 1743 but was prevented from becoming chartered as a college by the American Revolution: the state legislature finally came to its rescue in 1833. 8. Princeton University (Princeton, N.J.) was chartered in 1746, and was known as the College of New Jersey until 1896. It became fully coeducational in 1969. 9. Washington and Lee University (Lexington, Ky.) was established in 1749 and was originally known as the Augusta Academy. 10. Columbia University (New York, N.Y.) was founded in 1754 as King’s College by royal charter of King George II of England. It is the oldest institution of higher learning in the state of New York.
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f course there’s a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don’t take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates. — Abbott Lawrence Lowell (American educator, president of Harvard University, 1909–1933)
6 fraternities and sororities for gay students On university campuses, gay and lesbian students are joining together to combat homophobia and institutional discrimination. Gay students are more visible now than they ever have been, with gay and lesbian groups and gay fraternities — and sororities — more numerous than ever. But challenges remain, including
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opposition from some religious and conservative groups on campus. Still, the odds are that there’s a gay fraternal organization at your college or university. For more information, contact the two national gay fraternities, Alpha Lambda Tau and Delta Lambda Phi, which are among the organizations listed below. 1. Alpha Lambda Tau International Social Fraternity, Inc: This fraternity provides social, educational, financial, career, and character-building opportunities for gay, bisexual, transgender, and alternative-lifestyle-friendly male college students through motivational, creative, and meaningful recreational, scholastic, and community service programs. Alpha Lambda Tau is the smaller of the two national gay fraternities. You can contact them via e-mail at:
[email protected]. 2. Delta Lambda Phi: This national fraternity allows gay, bisexual, and progressive men to experience brotherhood in a safe, supportive environment. It is one of the fastest growing fraternities in the country with eighteen chapters, approximately three hundred members and nine colonies — or groups — in the process of becoming chapters. To find out if there is a chapter at your university, contact Delta Lambda Phi via e-mail at:
[email protected]. 3. Delta Phi Upsilon Fraternity, Inc: This, the first gay fraternity for men of color, was founded in 1985 on the campus of Florida State University in Tallahassee, Fla. The organization can be contacted via e-mail at www.dpu.org. 4. Gamma Lambda Mu: The brothers of GLM pride themselves on their sense of community and service. To be sure that other students on campus take them more seriously, they have included a law saying that they can’t date one another. Currently, this fraternity is thriving at Florida International University (Miami, Fla.). 5. Beta Phi Omega Sorority, Inc: This “National Feminine Minority Lesbian Sorority” caters to feminine lesbian women. However, they do not discriminate against any race or against women who are bisexual or heterosexual. The first chapter of Beta Phi Omega was established in 2002 in Tallahassee, Fla. 6. Omicron Epsilon Pi Sorority, Inc: This is the country’s
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first Greek letter organization to cater specifically to the needs of lesbian women with an emphasis on lesbians of color. Omicron Epsilon Pi prides itself on the services it makes available to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender communities, as well as its mission to improve the lives of women everywhere.
the 10 most difficult colleges to get into According to USNews.com, the following colleges and universities have the lowest acceptance rates, making them the nation’s most competitive in terms of admissions. 1. Curtis Institute of Music (Philadelphia, Pa.): Considered one of the finest music conservatories in the world, the Curtis Institute of Music trains exceptionally gifted young musicians for performing careers on the highest professional level. It provides merit-based full-tuition scholarships to all its students, attracting the most talented young musicians from around the world. Only 7 percent of all applicants gain entrance. 2. United States Coast Guard Academy (New London, Conn.): The academy is tuition-free, and there are no congressional appointments. You’ll be evaluated on your academic standing and your personal merit, skills, talent, and achievements. All your accomplishments count. Only 7 percent of applicants get in. 3. The Juilliard School (New York, N.Y.): All applicants for admission to the Juilliard School must perform in person for members of the faculty according to the requirements in their respective departments. Only 9 percent of applicants for the dance, drama, and music programs gain admittance. Students may be scheduled for a personal interview by members of the faculty and/or administrative staff during the audition period. 4. Harvard University (Cambridge, Mass.): Most students admitted rank in the top 10 to 15 percent of their graduating classes. The majority of students admitted represent a range of scores from roughly 600 to 800 on each section of the SAT I as well as on the SAT II Subject Tests. Experience with extracurricular activities and good teacher recommendations are highly
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THE 4 YOUNGEST COLLEGE STUDENTS 1. When Michael Kearney entered Santa Rosa Junior College, he was six years, seven months old. He earned the distinction of becoming the youngest college graduate ever, obtaining his B.A. in anthropology at the University of South Alabama at the age of ten years, four months. 2. Greg Smith was solving math problems at the age of fourteen months, graduated with honors from high school at the age of nine, and graduated from Randolph-Macon College in Richmond, Virginia, at age thirteen. He has met with several world leaders, such as Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama, and has appeared on numerous television programs. 3. At age twelve, in 2001, Nicole Tan became the youngest student to ever attend the University of California, Davis. She had fourteen units of physiology, chemistry, and Chinese before she entered college. Her younger brother Andrew graduated the same school at fifteen, and was the youngest student there before Nicole. 4. Jessica Meeker enrolled in college at the age of twelve. She has earned an associate’s degree and is now working toward a bachelor’s degree from Penn State’s College of the Liberal Arts.
suggested. In 2002, 19,609 students applied but only 11 percent got in. 5. Princeton University (Princeton, N.J.): Of the 14,521 students who applied in 2002, only 12 percent were admitted. Of those applicants offered admission to the most recent freshman class that just entered, 25 percent scored below 680 on the SAT I Verbal, 50 percent scored between 680 and 770, and 25 percent scored 770 or higher. On the Math SAT I, 25 percent scored below 700, 50 percent between 700 and 790, and 25 percent scored 790 or higher. 6. Columbia University (New York, N.Y.): Only 12 percent of applicants are admitted each year. The middle 50 percent range of SAT I scores is 1,370–1,510; 88 percent of accepted students were in the top 10 percent of their class; and 96 percent of accepted students were in the top 20 percent of their class.
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7. Stanford University (Stanford, Calif.): Only 13 percent of the 18,600 applicants are accepted each year. SAT scores for both verbal and math exams should be in the 700–800 range each. Of the freshman class, 87.5 percent were in the top 10 percent of their class. 8. United States Naval Academy (Annapolis, Md.): Applicants must obtain a nomination from an official source — a U.S. House Representative, a senator, or vice president of the United States. Only 13 percent of applicants are admitted. 9. Cooper Union (New York, N.Y.): Because tuition is free, Cooper Union is one of the most difficult colleges to get into. Only two hundred freshmen, or 13 percent of all applicants, are admitted each year. The middle 50 percent of the Art freshmen have a high school average between 88 and 96 and SATs between 1,060 and 1,240. The middle 50 percent of the Architectural freshmen score a high school average between 91 and 97 and SATs between 1,350 and 1,440. The middle 50 percent of the Engineering freshmen score a high school average between 93 and 99 and SATs between 1,320 and 1,460. 10. Yale University (New Haven, Conn.): In 2002, of the 12,900 applicants, only 16 percent were admitted. The SAT requirements for admission are a score of 690–780 on the verbal portion and a math score of 690–770. Class rank is also an important criterion for admission. Of the freshman class, 95 percent were in the top 10 percent of their high school graduating class.
the 5 most notorious college football rivalries While most college football games are taken fairly seriously, a full-fledged rivalry will rattle fans to their core. The following have been rattling fans for decades. 1. Alabama vs. Auburn — This match-up is considered to be one of the greatest rivalries in college football. When this game takes place the state comes to a standstill. The trophy is far less significant than ownership of the state’s bragging rights.
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2. Ohio State vs. Michigan — Called “The Big Game,” this yearly feud began when Michigan beat Ohio State 22–0 the day the new Ohio Stadium opened. Over the years people like Woody Hayes and Bo Schembechler have helped maintain the mystique of this rivalry. 3. Oklahoma vs. Texas — The winning team of this game, also known as “the Red River Shootout” wins the Golden Hat. But the real prize is the supposed ownership of the Red River for one year until the next game. Played on a field that is equidistant from both schools, it’s also one of the longest-played rivalries on a neutral field. 4. Army vs. Navy — This rivalry, which dates back to 1890, got so heated that in 1894 President Grover Cleveland held a special cabinet meeting to discuss the feud, which resulted in a suspension that lasted five years, when President McKinley had the games reinstated. 5. Texas vs. Texas A&M — Preceded each year by an enormous bonfire, which tragically led to the death of 12 in 1999, this rivalry is the subject of many off-season debates. To say that this game is taken seriously by the players, fans, and alumni is a gross understatement. This game was named the fiercest college football rivalry in a USA Today on-line poll.
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man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. — Theodore Roosevelt
the 8 most common college mascots Here are the most common college mascot names and the number of schools that have chosen them: 1. Eagles — 57 2. Tigers — 44 3. Bulldogs — 40 4. Cougars — 30 collegeville, u.s.a.
5. Panthers — 30 6. Lions — 31 7. Wildcats — 31 8. Bears — 23
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is your college gay-friendly? It’s one thing for a college to spout rhetoric about freedom of sexual orientation, nondiscrimination, and tolerance for all lifestyles. The truly gay-friendly colleges do more — they have established programs to further the education and advancement of their gay student body. If the following resources are not available at your school, you may want to help establish them — no matter what your sexual preferences. 1. Is “sexual orientation” included in the college’s nondiscrimination statement? If not, why? Was the idea never presented, or was it considered and defeated? 2. Does the school have a gay student association? Is it active? Does it receive the same funding and support as other similar clubs? 3. Is there an office within the administration that provides counseling, resources, and support for gay students? 4. Is there a gay studies program or classes on gay history, literature, and sexuality? 5. Is there a gay alumni group or a group of gay faculty members? Are they active in public affairs? 6. How does the administration deal with crimes against gay students? Is there a special process for reporting such discrimination or abuse? 7. Does the school sponsor speaking programs on gay issues? Is National Coming Out Day acknowledged? 8. Does the library offer a wide selection of books and resources on gay issues? 9. Are gay issues discussed in the college paper? 10. What sorts of bumper stickers and graffiti does one find on campus? What t-shirt slogans can be seen on a stroll around the campus? This may be a roundabout way to tell whether the student body is gay-friendly, but people do tend to display their political beliefs, so keeping an eye open for signs — literally — may tell you a lot.
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33 successful people who never graduated from college 1. Bill Gates — Microsoft founder 2. Paul Allen — Microsoft founder 3. Michael Dell — Dell Computer founder 4. Larry Ellison — Oracle founder 5. Theodore Waitt — Gateway Computers founder 6. David Geffen — Music industry mogul 7. Jay Van Andel — Amway founder 8. Norm Waitt — Gateway Computers founder 9. Richard M. DeVos — Amway founder 10. Steve Jobs — Apple Computer founder 11. Thomas Monaghan — Domino’s Pizza founder 12. Ernest Gallo — E. & J. Gallo Winery founder 13. Bob Pittman — MTV founder 14. Peter Jennings — News anchor 15. Walter Cronkite — Journalist/news anchor 16. Harry S. Truman — U.S. President 17. Debra Fields — Mrs. Fields Cookies founder 18. Stephen Spielberg — Movie director 19. John Glenn — Astronaut/senator 20. Ralph Lauren — Clothing designer 21. Rosie O’Donnell — Actress/talk-show host 22. Wolfgang Puck — Restaurateur/chef 23. Ted Turner — Turner Networks founder 24. Dan Aykroyd — Actor 25. William Faulkner — Author 26. Edward Albee — Playwright 27. Woody Allen — Actor/film producer 28. Ellen DeGeneres — Comedienne 29. F. Scott Fitzgerald — Author 30. Tom Hanks — Actor 31. Rush Limbaugh — Talk-show host 32. Steve Martin — Actor 33. Yoko Ono — Musician
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14 celebrities and their college majors 1. Oprah Winfrey was a speech and drama major at Tennessee State University in Nashville. She received a full scholarship. After graduation she went on to become the first black woman to anchor a news program in Nashville. 2. Mira Sorvino graduated from Harvard with a degree in Asian studies. The Academy Award–winning actress is fluent in Mandarin Chinese. 3. Kiss’s front man, the ever-audacious Gene Simmons, was an education major at Richmond College in New York. He taught school for a short time after graduation in the Spanish Harlem neighborhood of New York City. 4. Renowned film director Steven Spielberg did not receive his college degree until 2002. The film and electronic arts major completed his degree requirements through independent study. He finally earned his degree at California State University by completing a series of term papers. In light of Spielberg’s success as a director, the university waived the twelve-minute film requirement necessary for graduation. 5. Bruce Lee, martial artist supreme, was a philosophy major at the University of Washington in Seattle. He dropped out after three years and became a kung fu instructor. 6. Academy Award–winning actress Jodie Foster graduated magna cum laude with a bachelor’s degree in literature from Yale University. 7. Monty Python founder John Cleese is a graduate of Cambridge University in England, where he studied law. Other Python alumni have similarly prestigious academic backgrounds: Graham Chapman (medicine) at Cambridge, Eric Idle (literature) at Cambridge, Michael Palin (history) at Oxford University, and Terry Jones (medieval literature) at Oxford. The only American in the comedy troop, Terry Gilliam, studied political science at Occidental College in California.
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professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep. — W. H. Auden (American poet)
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10 FAMOUS RESIDENT ASSISTANTS While the following have achieved notoriety and financial success, their positions as RAs were anything but glamorous. It’s nice to know that there was a time when they weren’t above dealing with noise complaints, roommate conflicts, and the other mundane realities of dorm life.
1. Paul Reiser, actor — Binghamton University 2. Katie Couric, Today Show host — University of Virginia 3. Donna Shalala, U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services — 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
Syracuse University Hillary Clinton, senator — Wellesley College Wesley Snipes, actor — State University of New York, Purchase Sheryl Crow, musician — University of Missouri at Columbia Tucker Quayle (Dan Quayle’s son) — Lehigh University Mike Ditka, legendary football coach — University of Pittsburgh Chyna, WWF wrestler — University of Tampa John Nabor, Olympic swimmer and commentator — University of Southern California
8. Actor Peter Falk studied at Hamilton College, received a bachelor’s degree in political science from the New School for Social Research, and then went on to earn a master’s degree in public administration from Syracuse University. He worked as a management analyst for the Budget Bureau of the State of Connecticut before becoming an actor. 9. Mick Jagger was a business student at the rigorous London School of Economics when he, Keith Richards, and Brian Jones formed the Rolling Stones. He continued his studies even after the band started performing professionally, but his business-school training must have helped him recognize a promising opportunity: He sold his soul to rock and roll soon after. 10. Golfing powerhouse Tiger Woods studied economics at Stanford University. Given his tournament winnings and product endorsement contracts, we’re guessing he focused in macroeconomics. collegeville, u.s.a.
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I
f you have a college degree you can be absolutely sure of one thing . . . you have a college degree. — Author unknown
11. Steve Martin majored in philosophy at Long Beach College (now California State University, Long Beach) and at UCLA. He briefly considered becoming a philosophy professor before turning to comedy. 12. David Letterman majored in telecommunications while at Ball State University in his home state of Indiana. It’s unclear whether or not Stupid Human Tricks formed a part of Letterman’s senior thesis. 13. Hugh Hefner, the founder of Playboy, majored in psychology at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, where he presumably learned a thing or two about the average American male psyche. Even with two additional minor courses of study in writing and art, Hefner doubled his course load and graduated in just two and a half years. 14. Actor, businessperson, and philanthropist Paul Newman received a bachelor’s degree in English from Kenyon College in Gambier, Ohio. After graduating, Newman studied acting at the Yale School of Drama and the Actors Studio.
24 great movies about college life 1. Breaking Away (1979): A group of recent high school graduates from a working-class neighborhood enter a collegiate bike race in an attempt to beat the school team. The tensions between the locals and the college students highlight themes of class, how one decides to go to college, and the role of a college education. 2. Good Will Hunting (1997): A troubled, boozing, and brawling young man (played by Matt Damon) from workingclass South Boston is a math genius. An MIT professor (Stellan Skarsgard), a therapist (Robin Williams), and a female student at Harvard (Minnie Driver) all help nurture his intellectual gift. This film shows the divisions between town and gown, while at the same time providing insight into the difficulty of finding one’s true self.
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3. Back to School (1986): Rodney Dangerfield plays Thornton Mellon, a clothing tycoon who never attended college. His son (Keith Gordon) challenges him to go back to school to see how hard university life actually is. In short order, Thurman has a blast, gets closer to his son, and executes a nutty rendition of “Twist and Shout.” 4. The Freshman (1990): Clark Kellog (Matthew Broderick) is a naïve guy from Vermont who gets mugged on his first day of college in New York City. He needs money — fast — so he gets mixed up with the mob and an endangered species of lizard (a Komodo dragon). Compared to the mafia, college is a breeze. 5. Loser (2000): Jason Biggs plays Paul Tannek, a smalltown boy who wins a scholarship to a fancy New York City college. Paul’s roommates ridicule him and the only person he can talk to is Dora (Mena Suvari), a cocktail waitress/student who’s having an affair with a pretentious literature professor. If you ever feel like college is just too overwhelming and generally not worth it, Loser might be worth a look. 6. With Honors (1994): A Harvard senior’s computer crashes, taking his thesis files with it. Then he loses the hard copy of his thesis. A homeless man (Joe Pesci) finds the thesis and agrees to return one page a day in exchange for food and shelter. The student learns about love, generosity, and the meaning of living a good life. 7. Dead Man on Campus (1998): The only way two students can pass their classes is by having a roommate who will commit suicide. They seek out the most depressed student on campus and convince him to transfer into their dorm room. While satirizing academic narrow-mindedness and parental pressure, this film also looks at how obsessive students often are. 8. Love Story (1970): A wealthy, preppy Harvard Law student (Ryan O’Neal) meets a poor Radcliffe student (Ali MacGraw). Overcoming all odds, including his overbearing father and both of their backgrounds, they fall in love, only to face the challenge of a fatal illness. If the term “tear-jerker” wasn’t invented to describe this film, it should have been. 9. Higher Learning (1995): This film explores the conflicting desires that college students have between wanting to broaden their horizons and meet new people and wanting to collegeville, u.s.a.
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stick to the safety of what — and who — they know best. It also covers the very uncomfortable territory of racial tensions and racial hatred on campus. 10. School Daze (1988): This early Spike Lee musical, starring Laurence Fishburn, explores the lines that unify and divide the student body at Mission University, an historically all-black college. 11. Soul Man (1986): After Mark Watson’s (C. Thomas Howell) father spends his college tuition buying a condominium in Barbados, upper-middle-class white student Mark must find another way to pay for college tuition. He discovers the perfect scholarship — but there’s one problem: It’s for African American students. Mark downs some tanning pills, dons an Afro, and is on his way. As an “African American” law student, Mark experiences discrimination and racism for the first time, and his adventures make up the best parts of this film. 12. Real Genius (1985): This film portrays a group of college science students (including Val Kilmer) at a fancy college who unknowingly work on a weapons system that their evil professor (William Atherton) plans on selling to the government. These brainy classmates exemplify the virtues of cooperation, teamwork, and intelligence without ever behaving like nerds. In this film, it’s cool to be smart. 13. Wonder Boys (2000): A professor and has-been novelist at a Pittsburgh college (Michael Douglas) is left by his wife, enticed by a sexy student, annoyed by an eager acolyte (Toby Maguire), and told by his mistress (Frances McDormand) that she’s pregnant. When his literary agent (Robert Downey Jr.) arrives in town with a transvestite in tow, all hell breaks loose. While your college may not be nearly so kooky, the high jinx in Wonder Boys will have you looking twice at your seemingly genteel professors. 14. The Sure Thing (1985): Happy-go-lucky Gil (John Cusack) takes a cross-country trip with bookish Alison (Daphne Zuniga) — he to meet a girl who will sleep with him, she to see her older boyfriend. Instead, they find friendship and love. This wonderful road movie satirizes the lengths college students go to
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in order to hook up with their ideal woman or man. At the same time, however, it has tons of heart and integrity. 15. Chariots of Fire (1981): Two unlikely athletes — one a Protestant divinity student, the other a Jewish Cambridge student — run for England at the 1924 Paris Olympics. While depicting the highs — and lows — of world-class, competitive athletics, this film also portrays the difficulties of overcoming such institutional hurdles as anti-Semitism and class prejudice. 16. Drumline (2002): This spirited movie about a university marching band features Devon (Nick Cannon), a cocky kid from Brooklyn who wins a snare-drumming scholarship to college. During the school year, Devon gets a girlfriend, clashes with his stodgy band director and discovers that though he can’t read music, he’s a natural musician. Devon quickly rises through the marching band’s ranks, learning the virtues of teamwork along the way. 17. Animal House (1978): Every school needs an organization like the fictional Faber College’s Delta House, where the members make little effort to hide why they’re at college and in a fraternity — to get smashed and meet girls — even if it means being on “double-secret probation,” leaving dead horses in the dean’s office, maintaining a 0.00 grade point average, and staging a hostile takeover of the town’s big parade with a float that says “Eat me.” 18. Revenge of the Nerds (1984): This movie celebrates the triumphs of a gang of slide-rule-equipped geeks as they seek revenge on a rival fraternity full of preppies and jocks. 19. American Pie II (2001): Hoping to lure babes to the beach, a group of guys rents a beach house the summer after their freshman year of college. After watching this film, you’ll start to wish that these were your friends — and that this was your beach house. 20. Gross Anatomy (1989): Joe Slovak (Matthew Modine), a brilliant first-year med student and nonconformist, is tested by the toughest class — and professor — in medical school. Joe also falls for his lab partner (Daphne Zuniga), whose plans do not include romance. 21. The Paper Chase (1973): The first year of Harvard Law
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School seen through the eyes of a student who develops heroworship for the most difficult law professor on campus, Professor Kingsfield (John Houseman). The law student must decide whether he has what it takes to succeed, and what his definition of success is. 22. Legally Blonde (2001): Californian, Homecoming Queen, and Fashion Merchandising major, Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) aces the LSAT and gets into Harvard Law School in an attempt to win her boyfriend back from an East Coast smarty (Selma Blair). This post-feminist tale makes nods to “The Paper Chase” and shows Elle winning over her classmates and learning that she is capable of much more than she imagined. 23. The Graduate (1967): Benjamin (Dustin Hoffman) is just out of college and uncertain about what to do next. He is aimless in the present and confused about his future. He has an affair with an older woman (Anne Bancroft), falls in love with her daughter and learns about the power of plastics. 24. The Big Chill (1983): The ultimate college reunion movie, a group of friends (including Kevin Kline, Jeff Goldblum, and Glenn Close) gather for a funeral ten years after they graduated from the University of Michigan. They dance to music (ostensibly) from their college days, reminisce about past relationships, and reflect on their lost idealism.
10 college movie bloopers What kind of example is Hollywood setting? 1. American Graffiti: There are dozens of mistakes in this film; for instance, Steve’s Impala and Carol’s sister’s car have the same license plate number; and when Terry and Debbie are at the canal and leave the ’58 Impala for the field, they exit the car from the driver’s side and walk to the left — but when they come back, they approach the car from the right. 2. Animal House: The “Welcome Alumni” banner is torn in half by Bluto early in the movie, yet during the parade scene, which takes place later on, it’s magically restored.
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3. The Freshman: In the scene where Matthew Broderick first meets Penelope Ann Miller at her father’s home, she claims that the Mona Lisa over the fireplace is the original. The original Mona Lisa is roughly 8 1/2" by 11" — not nearly as large as the painting over the fireplace. 4. Good Will Hunting: Pay close attention to the classroom scene in the beginning of the film, when the blackboard mysteriously changes as the professor turns the class over to the student assistant. 5. Legally Blonde: During the scene where Elle is at the nail salon, she tells her friend that she is moving back to California. She’s been crying, and her mascara is running. The camera cuts away, but when it returns to Elle’s face her mascara is fine. 6. Revenge of the Nerds: In a bedroom scene close to the beginning of the movie, the boom can clearly be seen at the top of the screen. 7. Road Trip: When Beth goes to Boston to tell Tiffany about her affair with Tiffany’s boyfriend, she finds the wrong Tiffany at the KA sorority house. Kappa Alpha is a fraternity, not a sorority. 8. Scary Movie 2: In one scene, Cindy’s being chased by a skeleton. You can see the skateboard attached to the skeleton to move it across the screen. Similarly, when Cindy runs into Hanson at the hot-dog stand, the battery pack for her remote microphone can be seen under her clothes. 9. The Son-in-Law: Rebecca and Crawl fly to Rebecca’s home in the Midwest for Thanksgiving. Yet when her family is waiting at the airport, you see a sign behind them that says Wasco, California. 10. With Honors: Brendan Frasier’s cast is not always on the same leg.
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f you feel that you have both feet planted on level ground, then the university has failed you. — Robert F. Goheen (president of Princeton University, 1956–1972)
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life according to the class of 2008 Each year, the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin prepares a list to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of the year’s incoming freshmen. Members of the Class of 2008 were generally born in 1982, the year the E.R.A. went down to defeat, AIDS was designated a top priority after it killed 164 people, and the Weather Channel and C-SPAN first appeared on cable. 1. Grace Kelly, Elvis Presley, Karen Carpenter, and the E.R.A. have always been dead. 2. Somebody named George Bush has been on every national ticket, except one, since they were born. 3. The Kennedy tragedy was a plane crash, not an assassination. 4. A “45” is a gun, not a record with a large hole in the center. 5. Iraq has always been a problem. 6. M*A*S*H and the Muppet Show have always been in re-runs, and Bert and Ernie are old enough to be their parents. 7. “Ctrl Alt Del” is as basic as ABC. 8. The year they were born, AIDS was found to have killed 164 people; finding a cure for the new disease was designated a “top priority” for government-sponsored research. 9. We have always been able to reproduce DNA in the laboratory. 10. Paul Newman has always made salad dressing. 11. There have always been ATMs. 12. Toyotas and Hondas have always been made in the United States, and there’s no such thing as a Datsun. 13. There has always been a national holiday honoring Martin Luther King Jr. 14. Three Mile Island is ancient history, and nuclear accidents happen only in other countries. 15. Around-the-clock coverage of Congress, public affairs, weather reports, and rock videos has always been available on cable.
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THE 7 OLDEST COLLEGE GRADUATES 1. Kathleen Cross Cooper graduated from the University of Delaware in 2002 at the age of eighty-eight with a degree in fine arts. She attended class until her arthritis got the best of her, and she had to complete her degree long distance. 2. At the age of eighty-two, Marguerite Shotwell became the oldest grad ever at the University of Florida. She received her degree from the university’s College of Agriculture and Life Sciences. 3. Lithia Greenman received a degree in Liberal Arts and Humanities at the age of eighty-seven. She attained a 3.8 grade point average at Dutchess Community College. Her goal after graduation was to transfer to Marist College to obtain a bachelor’s degree in English. 4. Dorothy Long graduated from Central Florida Community College with an associate degree in science. She got her GED at the age of seventyfive. According to Dorothy, “You’re never too old to learn.” 5. Raymond King began his college education at the age of sixty-seven and at seventy-seven earned his fourth college degree as a master of arts in Chinese literature. (He already held bachelor’s degrees in Japanese and Chinese literature and an associate degree in real estate from City College of San Francisco.) He is the oldest graduate in the history of San Francisco State University. 6. Ocie Tune King is possibly the oldest person to graduate from college. She earned a Regents Bachelor of Arts degree at the age of ninety-four, seventy years after she took her last class at West Virginia University in 1929. She needed to complete twelve hours of sociology to graduate. 7. At eighty-three years of age, Joe Andreano is the oldest graduate of SUNY Brockport. He received a B.S. degree in criminal justice.
16. Congress has been questioning computer intrusion into individuals’ personal lives since they were born. 17. Calvin Klein has always been affordable. 18. Coors Beer has always been sold east of the Mississippi, eliminating the need for Burt Reynolds to outrun the authorities in the Smokey and the Bandit films. 19. Gas has always been unleaded. 20. Elton John has only been heard on easy listening stations. collegeville, u.s.a.
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T
he teacher is one who makes two ideas grow where only one grew before. — Elbert Hubbard
21. What’s a return key? 22. They neither know who Billy Joe McAllister was, nor wondered what he was doing on the Tallahatchee Bridge. 23. They have never thought of Jane Fonda as “Hanoi Jane,” nor associated her with any revolution other than the “Fitness Revolution” videotape they may have found in the attic. 24. If they vaguely remember the night the Berlin Wall fell, they are probably not sure why it was up in the first place. 25. “Spam” and “cookies” are not necessarily foods. 26. They feel more danger from having sex and being in school than from possible nuclear war. 27. There has been only one Pope. 28. They have always been able to make phone calls from planes. 29. Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic. 30. They have likely never played Pac Man and have never heard of Pong. 31. What’s an 8-track? 32. They have always had PINs. 33. They have always had an answering machine. 34. Most have never seen a TV set with only thirteen channels, nor have they seen a black-and-white TV. 35. Peeps are not candy, they’re your friends. 36. They have never seen a first lady in a fur coat. 37. Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show. 38. Popcorn has always been made in the microwave. 39. They have never seen Larry Bird play. 40. They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. was. 41. Michael Jackson has always been white. 42. The only band that Paul McCartney is associated with is the Beatles. 43. There has always been MTV. 44. They learned what sex is and isn’t from Bill Clinton.
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2
College Life 101
carpe college: the essential 67 1. Take advantage of the widest range of choices you’ll ever have available to you. Try a little bit of (almost) anything. 2. Keep your eye on the big picture. You’re not here to learn everything. You’re here to learn how to learn. 3. Keep a journal, even if you only make entries occasionally. 4. Whenever you get special permission for anything, get it in writing. 5. Proofread everything you turn in at least three times. Get a proofreading buddy and agree that you will always help each other out. 6. If something at school is confusing you, whether it’s advanced calculus or the fastest route to the library, get answers to your questions as soon as possible. 7. Don’t make excuses. No one cares about them. 8. Use sunscreen. 9. Once in a while, play “devil’s advocate” with yourself just to make sure you’re making the right decisions. 10. If you fail a course, repeat it as soon as possible, so it doesn’t loom over you. 11. Make friends with all the teaching assistants. 12. Network like crazy. 13. Write letters to speakers and tell them what you thought of their presentations. 14. Always be on the lookout for a direction, a job, a new contact. Have a system for collecting information about your contacts. 15. Develop a file system and clean out unneeded papers occasionally to make room for the new. 16. Be aware of your short-, medium-, and long-term goals. Make sure that each of these is being addressed every day. 17. Develop good reading skills. Learn a speed-reading system but know when not to use it. 18. Eat well; exercise; practice (nonalcoholic) relaxation techniques. 19. Go to your classes.
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20. Know your resident and academic advisers. Even more important, make sure they know you. 21. Get to know the secretaries in the departments of the subjects that interest you the most. 22. Keep running lists of questions you have and check them off as you get answers. 23. Acquire good memory skills — see Chapter 3, “Get Smart.” 24. Find something that motivates you and hang onto it. 25. Know yourself — your limits, the study habits that work best for you, your strengths and weaknesses — and base your major decisions on these. 26. Join clubs. If one club doesn’t work for you, join a different club. 27. If you can’t find a club that interests you, start one. 28. Use sunscreen. 29. Always know which people you would turn to for three great recommendations. 30. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. It’s college, not your whole life. 31. Make sure your instructors know you by name. 32. Find a mentor as soon as you can. 33. Volunteer to work on school research projects. 34. Always work at improving your computer skills. 35. If you’re really good at something, let people know. (Does someone need your help?) 36. If you don’t know something that everyone else seems to know, don’t be afraid to ask. Everyone was a freshman once. 37. Make summer and vacation time count; do something that contributes to your education. 38. Make eye contact. 39. Make learning fun. Compete with yourself; make it your own private game. 40. Be ready for the bad days; you will have them. 41. Don’t compare yourself with everyone else. 42. Develop a support team with friends and contacts who complement each other. Sometimes you’ll need a strong thoughtful type to get you through a problem; and sometimes
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you’ll need a free spirit who knows how to cast aside worries and teach you to let the wind blow back your hair. 43. Know how your time is being spent. 44. Don’t waste time sleeping. 45. Get lots of sleep. 46. Smile at people. Sometimes you think you are smiling and you’re not. Practice in the mirror. 47. If you have a disability, get help for it immediately by finding out what special facilities might be available to you. 48. Don’t assume that all rules apply to all classes. 49. Don’t assume that tests are always held in the room where classes are held. 50. Don’t assume anything. 51. Read all your mail and your e-mail. 52. Participate. 53. Deal with health issues before they start interfering with your activities. 54. The cafeteria is a great place to socialize and a lousy place to study. 55. Go to seminars, career fairs, lectures, and concerts, especially if they’re free and if refreshments are served. 56. Learn to manage your time. 57. Keep a reading diary in which you jot down a few sentences about every book you read, including the title, author, a two-sentence description, and a line or two about your response to the book. Do this for the rest of your life. 58. Use sunscreen. 59. Run for office. 60. Get a Web site and use it to connect with others who share your professional aspirations. 61. Don’t live off campus until you’ve made a lot of friends. 62. Volunteer. Be a good person. 63. Be humble. Remember the famous quote attributed to Mark Twain: “When I was boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” 64. Things change; expect the unexpected; be flexible.
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65. Take risks, but calculate them first. 66. Always be on the lookout for your next job. 67. Take a few moments each day to be grateful for who and where you are, no matter what’s going on.
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he purpose of a liberal education is to make you philosophical enough to accept the fact that you will never make much money. — Author unknown
the college students’ bill of rights Small liberal arts college or huge state university — no matter where you go to school, you, as a college student, have a right to expect the following amenities: 1. Adequate Housing: Depending on where you go to college, you may be housed in either a spanking-new building or the run-down dorm on campus that everyone else is glad they don’t live in. Whatever the case, your school must provide you with four walls and a roof (one that doesn’t leak every time it rains). If you are attending a huge university or a state school, try to find out far in advance what the university housing situation is. At some of these schools there aren’t enough university dorm rooms to go around, and out-of-state students are expected to arrange for their own accommodations. 2. A Healthy, Affordable Meal Plan: It doesn’t have to taste good, but your college or university should provide you with a selection of hot food, cold food, and probably vegetarian food on a daily basis. There should be enough to eat for everyone (as long as you don’t sleep through lunch and then wonder where all the food went), and your meal plan should be reasonably priced. 3. A Safe Environment: If your school has a large campus or is located in an urban area, the university should provide latenight shuttles between the libraries and the dormitories. And regardless of the size of the campus, there should be adequate security, courses offered in basic self-defense (this is especially
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important for women), well-lighted buildings for you to study (and party) in, and well-lighted paths for you to walk on. 4. A Physical Fitness Facility: Just in case you want to take a break from the ongoing pizza-eating contest and release some endorphins, you should have access to an exercise facility. It doesn’t have to have an Olympic-size pool or a weight room worthy of the Gold’s Gym franchise, but your university should provide a reasonable exercise facility for its students. 5. Handicapped Access: No matter what your particular handicap may be, your university is required to provide proper entry to its buildings, bathrooms, and dormitories. Your college also needs to provide appropriate amenities for its hearing and visually impaired students. 6. Student Health Services: The doctors and nurses at your school’s health services don’t need to be brain surgeons, but they should have some medical training and they should have appropriate supplies. They should also be able to refer you to other health professionals, whether it’s for psychological counseling or birth control needs. 7. Access to the Classes You Need to Graduate: Whether you pick the most popular major at your university or the most uncommon one, you should be able to get into the classes you need in order to graduate. This means that your college should have enough sections available for required courses so that all the students who need to take these classes have access to them. (No, this doesn’t mean that the university has to accommodate your sleep/wake cycle. If you don’t want to take a required class at 8:00 a.m. and that’s the only time it’s offered — that’s your problem.) It also means that if you need to take “The History of the Cathars” in order to complete your major in Medieval French History, this class should be offered more than once every seven years. 8. The Opportunity to Graduate in Four Years: Owing to budget cuts and decreased hiring in academe, many universities claim that they cannot provide the appropriate classes and professors to allow their students to graduate in the normally allotted four-year period. This is unacceptable. You don’t have an extra year to spend hanging around campus (life is waiting, after
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all), nor will your parents be eager to pay for an extra year of tuition. 9. Classes Taught by Professors, Not Teaching Assistants: With the exception of the occasional survey-lecture small group, your classes should be taught by professors (full, assistant, associate, or adjunct) and not TAs. You and your parents aren’t dropping a fortune on college so you can spend four years being instructed by graduate students barely older than you. 10. Financial Aid for Those Who Truly Need It: Your university should offer a variety of financial aid packages for students and their families who qualify. It is unacceptable for your university to expect that students who cannot afford their tuition must take out huge loans and go into debt when they are just starting out in life. 11. Office Hours with Your Professors: Your professors are there for you — or should be. Even if you attend a huge university where research is paramount and teaching is considered secondary, your professors must make themselves available to their undergraduate students. They should announce their office hours at the start of the semester and adhere to that schedule. 12. Quiet Places to Study: Maybe you chose your school because of its resemblance to (the fictional) Faber College in the movie Animal House. But you’ll still need to study. So if it’s a constant party at your frat house or if your dorm room is always rocking, you should be able to get some peace and quiet at the library or a room in the student union or the computer center. 13. Computer Center: Everyone has a computer and you will probably bring yours to college with you. But computers break down — usually at the most inopportune times — and you should have reasonable access to your school’s computer center. Computer time — and computers — should be available to all students free of charge. Your college should also provide you with e-mail access. 14. Entertainment: Your school isn’t required to show complimentary movies around the clock or keep you swimming in alcohol-free punch for four years, but there should be enough on-campus activities available for students so that you don’t have to go trolling the local mall during your down time.
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15. An Ombudsman: An ombuds-what? An ombudsman is your advocate within the university. His or her sole — and official — purpose is to represent the college’s students to the administration. It is the ombudsman to whom you should go if your basic needs as a college student are not being appropriately met.
28 things to bring to college Some of these are obvious, but you’d be surprised how easy it is to overlook the obvious. 1. Computer. You will use it more than you ever believed and learn to love your Internet connection as if it were a family member. Staying connected with the high school gang, researching, and writing papers is so easily done in the comfort of your cozy little room. Don’t forget your anti-virus software and all the necessary literature and warranties. Opt for a laptop. 2. Organizer/PDA. Once you set foot on campus, you will have a lot of deadlines, and it’s hard to remember everything. So whether it’s a paper planner or a high-tech electric organizer, find a system that suits your needs. 3. Lots of underwear and socks. This will cut down on the number of times you will have to do laundry. 4. Your high school yearbook and some photos of your family. These will get you through the inevitable attacks of homesickness. Plus, going through the yearbook with a date or roommate can be a good ice-breaker. 5. A working camera. What better way to let your family know how you are and what college life is like than sending them photos of your campus and friends? 6. A good attitude. College is an opportunity for you to rededicate yourself and get a fresh new start. If you’ve made mistakes in the past, here’s a chance to move on to a new improved you. 7. A microwave and a mini-fridge. These are great if you’ve got the room and they’re allowed. 8. An open mind. College is a new experience, and an open
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mind will help you make the most of it. You’ll meet all sorts of different people, and it’s best not to prejudge anyone. 9. Lotsa quarters. You’ll need them for doing laundry and for vending machines. 10. Milk crates. You can use them as laundry baskets, bookshelves, and storage space. 11. Your social security card. 12. Your checkbook. 13. Insurance policy (medical, dental, auto, and homeowner) information. Make sure you have the policy name and number, contact information, and phone number. 14. A plunger. Shit happens. 15. Plenty of blankets and afghans. College dorm air conditioners have two settings . . . off and freeze your ass off. 16. Post-it notes. You’ll really use these handy little reminders. 17. Your favorite stuffed animal. 18. Stamps. 19. Fan. Double check with your college or university whether or not your hall is air-conditioned. 20. Cell phone. Chances are, you’re already connected to your parents’ every word by one of these. So don’t forget it when you leave for school. Most college long-distance rates are slightly more expensive, so make sure your plan covers calls to home and friends. 21. TV and VCR. 22. A pair of rubber flip-flops for use in the shower to avoid athlete’s foot. 23. A bottle of one of the many products available for eliminating odors from clothing and other fabric. 24. A bottle of “wrinkle releaser,” which can make a slept-in shirt look as if you’ve just ironed it. 25. An alarm clock — or two. You’ll need something to help you wake up from a nap or to make it to your finals on time. And you’ll always need a Plan B. 26. Extension cords. 27. A dry-erase board for reminders and messages. 28. A lightweight vacuum.
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what your computer color says about you This information is based on the findings of Charles Moore, news editor and columnist for www.applelinks.com. 1. People who favor white computers are generally standoffish and aloof. They tend to be perfectionists and are extremely self-disciplined. They also tend to be somewhat inhibited and can sometimes seem to be indifferent to others, as well as being self-righteous. 2. Preferences for black computers indicate worldly people who also have an inclination toward being extremely methodical. They tend to be overachievers and are very fastidious with facts; they strive for perfection. They also tend to be obsessivecompulsive. 3. The choice of blue for a computer suggests that the user is a tender, warm-hearted, and secure person who is sensitive to others and is highly trustworthy. People who prefer blue tend to be introspective and thoughtful and have conservative views on life. 4. People who prefer beige tend to be very practical types. They are good at their jobs and are attentive — sometimes frugal — about finances. They tend to rely on others to be trustworthy and dependable, and they don’t like surprises.
what your choice of computer font says about you This list is based on a study called “The Psychology of Font” that was conducted by Dr. Aric Sigman, a hypnotherapist and biofeedback expert. 1. Using a large font or using all capital letters generally reveals a friendly and extroverted person. (Use of capitals is, of course, considered “shouting” and should be avoided in e-mails.) 2. The use of a small font generally describes a more conservative and introverted personality. 3. A cursive font is more commonly used by someone who is creative and has a romantic spirit.
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SMILEYS They’re little billboards on the Information Superhighway, adding fun, humor, and self-expression to your e-mails. They’re also known as emoticons. To decipher a smiley, turn the page 90 degrees to the right. Don’t be surprised if it takes a moment to decipher some; when you do, you’ll be laughing out loud. :>D
:-) ;-) :-( (-: :-e :’-( :’-) :-# O :-) >:> :-X (:-. . . . . =):-)= d:-) @@@@@@@ :) %-) 8:-) :-)-8 2B^2B :
