DOUBLE OR NOTHING
Other Books by Raymond Federman:
Among the Beasts (1967) Amer Eldorado (1974) Take It or Leave It ...
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DOUBLE OR NOTHING
Other Books by Raymond Federman:
Among the Beasts (1967) Amer Eldorado (1974) Take It or Leave It (1976) The Voice in the Closet (1979) The Twofold Vibration (1982) Smiles on Washington Square (1985) To Whom It May Concern: (1990)
N
DOUBLE or T H I N G
a real fictitious
discourse
F e Raymond
e r m a n
FICTION
COLLECTIVE
TWO
BOULDER
•
NORMAL
Copyright © 1998 by Raymond Federman All rights reserved Third edition First printing, 1992 Second printing, 1998 Published by FC2 with support given byThe Department of English Unit for Contemporary Literature of Illinois State University and the Illinois Arts Council. Address all inquiries to: FC2, Unit for Contemporary Literature, Campus Box 4241, Illinois State Universit~ Normal, IL61790-4241 Originally published by The Swallow Press Inc., Second edition published by Greno Verlagsgesellschaft ffi. b. H. Double or Nothing Raymond Federman ISBN-I0: 1-5736-6075-2 ISBN-13: 978-1-5736-6075-4 Library of Congress Catalog Card Number 98-071783
Cover design: Dave LaFleur Original typing and book design: Raymond Federman Typesetting and book design adapted from the original for the third edition by Jonathan Budil Produced and printed in the United States ofAmerica
S T E R V SIMONE B JIM N
for
Ce qui est dit n'estjamais dit puisqu'on peut Ie dire autrement - Robert Pinget
THIS IS NOT THE BEGINNING
o Once upon a time two or three weeks &gO, a rather stubborn and determined middle-aged man decided to record for posterity, exactly as ithappened, wordby word andstep bystep, the story of another man for indeed what is great in man is that he is a bridge and not a goal, a somewhat paranoiac fellow umnanied, unattached, and quite irresponsible, who had decided to lock himself in a room a furnished room
with a private bath, cooking facilities, a bed, a table, and at least one chair, in NewYork City, for a year 365 days to be precise, to write the story ofanother person-a shy young man of about 19 years old-who, after the war the Second World War, had come to America the land of opportunities from France underthe sponsorship ofhis uncle-ajournalist, fluent in five languages-who himselfhad come to America from Europe
Poland it seems, though this was not clearly established sometime during the war after a series of rather gruesome adventures, andwho, atthe endofthe war,wrote to the father his cousin by maniage ofthe young man whom he considered as a nephew, curious to know ifhe the father and his family had survived the German occupation, and indeed was deeply saddened to learn, in a letter from the young man-a long and touching letter written in English, not by the young man, however, who did not know a damn word of English, but by a good friend ofhis who had studiedEnglish in school-thathis parents bothhisfather andmother andhis two sisters oneolderand the other younger than he had been deported they were Jewish to a German concentrationcamp Auschwitz probably and never returned, no doubt having been exterminated deliberately X * X ate X ate X, and that, therefore, the young man who was now an orphan, a displaced person, who, during the war, had managed to escape deportation by working very hard on a farm in Southern France, would be happy and grateful to be given the opportunity to come to America that great country he had heard so much about and yet lmew so little about to start a new life, possibly go to school, learn a trade, and become a good, loyal citizen.
00 Now the first person the stubborn and determined middle-aged man simply wanted to record, to the best ofhis ability and as objectively as possible, but for reasons that were never clearly stated man is indeed inexplicable, the activities of the second person the irresponsible paranoiac fellow, who, incidentally, was also an inveterate gambler as he planned-the day before he was to enter the room this is important-projected, calculated, and determined what he would need in the room for 365 days such as food, toilet articles, writing material, and so on, in order to strrVive and write the story ofthe youngman who had come to America from France by boat and who had had such a rough time during the war and was now an orphan. Basically, this didnot present any major problems for the first person since he was merely to be the recorder, the designer, the scribbler as it were ofthe second person's story, though it should be pointed out immediately that this first person hadvery little experience in suchmatters, and that, in fact, he was a poor recorder, a lousy designer, a weak scribbler, and that on top ofthat he was a very bad typist, but, and that is the essential in matters such as these, he was stubborn and determined. For him, therefore, it was simply a matter ofkeeping track of, and keeping up with the activities, thoughts, decisions, and indecisions ofthe second person however incoherent these might be as he the second person noodled around if one may use such an expression-the day before he was to enter the room, this should be emphasized-in order to ascertain what he would need in the room besides the bed, the table, and the one chair to survive, while at the same time organizingconditionally of COllrSe in his mind and eventually on paper the elements of the story he wanted to write about the shy young man who was so inexperienced in the American-way-of-life, and decide also how he was going to compose and write that story in some coherent and artistic form. In other words, for the first person, it wasjust a matter ofpatience and determination, a matter, so to speak, 'ofbeing able to keep up with the second person, and
000 of course, this is understood, of trying to be as faithful and as precise as possible in his recording of the second person's activities, however messed up, screwed up, chaotic these might be, for indeed, as it was once said: "One must have chaos in one to give birth to a dancing star." Or better still: "What but an imperfect sense of humor could have made such a mess of chaos." As for the second person, the one who suffers of paranoia, the gambler, the one who has decided to lock himselfin the room for 365 days, his task is much more difficult than that of the first person. First of all, he has to establish some sort of schedule for his creative activities, and then he has to plan carefully the details ofhis survival in the room, and this with rather limited means the sum of approximately 1200 dol-
lars and some change which-and this is never to be clarified-he has won gambling in Los Angeles or Los Vegas, he has possibly stolen, borrowed, or perhaps even saved-penny by penny-though the last is quite unlikely andfurthermore, he has to invent and tellofcourse the story of the young man, word by word and step by step, describing, for instance, in detail and obviously realistically, thejourney across the Atlantic Ocean, the love affair the young man had on the boat with a girl from Milwaukee, the arrival of the boat in New York, the encounter ofthe youngman with his uncle on the pier he had never met his uncle before, the subway ride with his suitcase and his uncle in what can be called The Belly ofAmerica as they went from the pier to the Bronx to visit a Jewish family possibly relatives of the uncle who then asked them to stayfor dinner, and beyond that everything else that will or may happen to the young man during his first year in America. Originally, the second person thought he would cover the first five years ofthe young man's life in America, but eventually, for obvious reasons man is indeedunpredictable, he decided to limit himselfto the first year only so as to have "the time ofthe story" correspond "to his 365 days in the room" why this should be so will probably
0000
never be clarified, particularly the period in Detroit where the uncle took his nephew after a few days sight-seeingin New York City. His problems the second person, the inventor, the Doodler are, in a sense, double because he has to work out mentally and physically all the details of what he needs in the room within the limits of his rather limited mean.s, and at the same time invent, or at least organize in one way or another, the details of what he is going to write once he has locked himselfin the room-assuming ofcourse he can find the kind of room he needs on the basis of his limited budget. Moreover, what makes his situation more difficult, more critical, is that he plans the whole thing, the whole undertaking, on the 30th ofSeptember, that is to saythe day before he is to enter the room he has decided that he will enter the room on October 1st, and that nothing-yes, nothing-will interfere with his plans, for indeed there are too many men who scatterwords in advance oftheir deeds, and always do less than they promise, but not him. The only way then he can possibly solve this complex double problem is to start at the beginning, deal with the question ofthe room first, andthen keep going, as best and as fast as he can, with all the other details of his survival: food, toilet articles, writing material, and so on, and the elements ofthe story he wants to write; but most important, in order for him to succeed, is to avoid at all cost talking about his own life, or better yet to forget about himself completely at least until he and his invention converge and merge, so as to better concentrate on the life of the young man who, certainly, has had a much more interesting life than the second person. In other words, for the second person, the Wlattached, paranoiac, irresponsible gambler, it is a matter ofcoping in spite of his paranoia with the difficult and critical task he has undertaken, for he knows that he loses nothing nothing! when he loses his time or his life. Now the third person, the young man who is going to come to America from France and who is very shy andJewish and naive, he does not have anything to do at first except wait
00000 for the second person to get started with his story, wait and see how he is going to be invented, told, composed, and eventually written as he and his story unfold during his fIrst year in America. All he has to do, in fact, is submit to the second person's imagination and sense of organization as he the inventor invents, projects, organizes, composes, and eventually writes everything that will happen to him. His only concern, therefore, is to be created artistically, or betteryet to be granted a role a meaningful role in this intramural setup, to be described coherently by the second person, and to some extent to be scribbled precisely, recorded faithfully, and so on, by the first person, though it shouldbe pointedout here that this first person had no intention ofinterfering orally, physically, manually with the activities of the second person. However, if eventually, for personal reasons man is indeed free to choose his own destiny, free to propose and dispose, the third person the shy young man is not satisfied with the way the second person is writing him, or what he is saying about him and by simple extension how the first person is recording him, then he might quite possibly disagree with him, argue with him, and even try to convince him to change the way his story is being told, shaped, written and beyond that scribbled, designed, and recorded. For indeed the speed of thought is not superior to that of speech! But all this is, of course, strictly hypothetical since the young man very unsure of himself has really no voice, at least initially-ultimately he may have a partial voice-in the activities ofthe second person but none that's quite obvious, in the recordings 01 the first person. In other words, he is nothing in the double setup, the interplay between the fIrst and second person; as a matter of fact, Wlless the second person invents him, and the first person records him, he will never become anything, he will always remain non-existent a blob in somebody's imagination, and ofcourse neither the girl from Milwaukee, nor the uncle, nor the girl in the subway, nor the Jewish family in the Bronx, nor any of the other people who
000000 might have entered into the story, nor anything else that would have happened to him the poor young man during his first year in America will ever be told scribbled written and recorded. Therefore. It is essential indeed that the second person allows nothing to interfere with his plans however irresponsible these might be, and that the first person persists in his stubborn and determined recording, and that finally the third person do nothing, nothing but wait to see what will happen to him and to the others who are involved with him. Meanwhile. A short double poetic statement might be in order at this point:
Reflection Forging with my his hands from the experiences of my his skin a mask for reality Carving in my his bones a meaning for life I he heard something whispered and my his fingers burned
at the touch offlesh Quickly I he denied the dreams of my his father reshaped my his memories to convenient usage and stood almost a winner Slowly settlingintole~argy
,vhen a clumsy gesture destroyed the illusion.
0000000 Now some people might say that this situation is not very encouraging but one must reply that It Is not meantto encourage those who say that.
t
e And this is why the first person -
v 0 the recorder the scribbler b the middleaged man, as established a simply sat down one day two or three weeks ago and started recording-as best he could-the activities of the second person and kept at it full speed, scribbling faithfully stubbornly and exactly as it happened step by step everything that person was doing, saying, thinking, planning, calculating, organizing, inventing, composing, anticipating, projecting, writing, etc., even though much of it appeared totally incoherent, illogical, gratuitous, fragmented, all loused up, messed up, zero, irrational, Wlreadable, irresponsible, unpublishable, full of errors, bad, etc.
Nevertheless the first person recorded it all, as it was, as it were, as it happened.
t
e v wm~
0
the second person struggled, day after day, to solve b to resolve, as pointed out a this double problem simultaneously and withvery limited means on hand since and this will be clarified eventually before locking himself in the room to write the story of the not-yet-invented third person who was to come soon to America from France he had to cope with the preparationif one may use that term-of his survival in the room while at the same TIM E think ahead plan calculate anticipate - and so on - what he was going t WOUW UP SET WHOLE THE ELSE OR ABOUT WRITE 0 fall a-part be use-less & hope-less & make him feel even more paranoiac than before & forever & ever
00000000 Therefore the best thing for him to do was to start at the beginning wherever that might be allow nothing to interfere with his plans and keep going however incoherent irrational all screwed up and so on what he was doing became for indeed as an inveterate gambler that he was why should he be ashamed when the dice or the cards fall in his favor and why should he ask himself am I a dishonest player since from the beginning he is willing to succumb ifnot immediately at least eventually for indeed having decided on the 30th ofSeptember the day after he arrived in N ew York City by bus from Los Angeles or some other place with what was left of his original 1200 dollars or so to lock himselfin a room the next day October 1st he had very little time indeed to get the room and all the things he needed in the room to survive and compose the damn story he wanted to write ready on time and at the same time decide what he was going to write how hewas going to write and finish eventually the story of the young man and what that story would be all about while obviously the young man whose story was going to be written and recorded though not yet written and recorded or for that matter not even invented had nothing to do but wait and see what would happen to him and to his life when he arrived in America screwed the beautiful girl from Milwaukee on the boat met his old uncle on the pierwent with him by subway to the Bronx and on the way sat across from a beautiful tall and slim black girl whose legs were widelyspread apart so that he got all excited and by the time he arrived with his uncle at the apartment ofthe Jewish people he and his uncle were visiting in the Bronx he locked himself in the bathroom down the corridor a few minutes after they arrived to jerk off a good one feeling sorry for himself wondering sadly what would happen to him as he waited to see how he and his story were going to develop be handled by the secondperson his creator his maker and finally how the first person would record them artistically for posterity, etc. etc. etc.
000000000 this then is how it all started at the beginningjust like that once upon a time two or three weeks ago with the first person recording what the second person was doing as he planned the way he was going to lock himself for one year in a room to write the story ofthe third person all ofthem ready anxious to betogo to exist to invent towrite to record to survive to become
It all began at the beginning:
stubbornly and determinedly on the part of the first person nwnber one paranoiacally and confusedly on the part of the second person number two shyly and with some reselVations on the part of the third person nwnber three
It allstarted just before numbertwoentered the room the day before to beexact when he said to himself.
just think... fOr instance... just like that!
A very simple straightforward statement which was immediately recorded by number one while number three awaited his fate in the hollow of his fate not thinking or saying anything at all. From that point on number two was on his own:
just think... fOr instance... That's exactly what was exactly exactly exactly
thought said written recorded
For indeed the three of them agreed:
Here all is clear...No all is not clear... But the discourse must go on... So one invents obscurities... Rhetoric
000000000.0
Footnote:
Itshould be notedhere thatoverlookingthe wholeinttamural setup described in the preceding pages obviously there has to beafourth personSomeone to control organize supervise if yOlWish the activities and relations of the other three persons Someone who can keep things going in an orderly manner who can resolve arguments smooth out difficulties Someone who is like a father or like a supervisor but not necessarily likeaninventor Thesecondperson is theinventor nor like a recorder1bat function belongs to the ftrSt person And ofcoursenot like aprotagonistThe thirdperson will fit into that role eventually But someone who can be called an overalllookerwho has no creativepowerofhisownbutwho is simply here and nothere above asidebeside andofcourse Wldemeath the whole set up and who is to a great extent responsible and not responsible for what is going on and what is going to go on and therefore even though he mayor may not be real and may never be heard and his presence neverfelt nonetheless is impliedandimplicit in thediscourse Or else the question can be asked how is unity created between the three persons involved in this story which is about to begin if someone is not hidden somewhere in the background omnipresent omnipotent and omniscient to controldirectdictateabehaviorto the threeotherunfortunate beings And of course to write and present the preceding pageswhichobviouslycannotpossiblyhavebeenwrittenby any oftile threepersons involved in whatwill follow shortly that is to say the real fictitious discourse now to begin.
00lesnOOOlesnOOOlesnOOOlesnOOOlesnOOOlesnOOOlt odlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlc odIe sn 0 od 1e s n 00 d Ie s no od I es no 0 dl e s no 0 d Ie s no 0 dIe odlesnoodlesnoodles noodlesnoodlesnoodlc odlesnoodlesnoodles noodlesnoodlesnoodlc' odiesnoodiesnoodies noodlesnoodlesnoodlc odlesnoodlesnoodles noodlesnoodlesnoodlc odlesnoodles noodlesnoodlc odlesnoodles noodlesnoodl( odlesnoodles noodlesnoodl( odlesnoodlesnoodles noodlesnoodlesnoodl€ odlesnoodlesnoodles noodlesnoodlesnoodlc odlesnoodlesnoodles noodlesnoodlesnoodl€ odlesnoodlesnoodles noodlesnoodlesnoodlc. odlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlc odlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnood.lc odlesn·oodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlc odlesnoodles noodlesnoodlc odlesnoodlesn snoodlesnoodlc odlesnoodlesno esnoodlesnoodlc odlesnoodlesnoo lesnoodlesnoodl€ odlesnoodlesnood dlesnoodlesnoodlc odlesnoodlesnoodl odlesnoodlesnoodlc odlesnoodlesnoodle oodlesnoodlesnoodlc o d le s n 0 0 dIe s n 0 0 dIe s n 0 0 dIe s n 0 0 dIe s n 0 0 dIe odlesnoodlesnoodlesn snoodlesnoodlesnoodlc odlesnoodlesnoodlesno esnoodlesnoodlesnoodlc odlesnoodlesnoodlesnoo lesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlc odlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlc odlesnoodlesnoodlesnoo lesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlc odlesnoodlesnoodlesno esnoodlesnoodlesnoodlc ~dlesnoodlesnoodlesn snoodlesnoodlesnoodlc Jdlesnoodlesnoodles noodlesnoodlesnoodlc Jdlesnoodlesnoodle oodlesnoodlesnoodlc Jdlesnoodlesnoodl odlesnoodiesnoodic )dIesnoodiesnood diesnoodiesnoodic )dlesnoodlesnoo lesnoodlesnoodlc )dlesnoodlesno esnoodlesnoodlc )dlesnoodlesn snoodlesnoodlc ldlesnoodles noodlesnoodlc ldlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlc )dlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodl( )dlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlc )dlesnoodles noodlesnoodlc. ldlesnoodles noodlesnoodl~ >dlesnoodles noodlesnoodle )dlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodl( )dlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodlesnoodl~
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IBEGINNING I
1 JUST THINK FOR INSTANCE IF THE ROOM COST 8 DOLLARS
8o ~
~
Just think
§~
if the room costs 8 dollars 8 dollars a week
~
fa
~
~ 0
for instance
~ ~
~
00
>
~
then it'll have to be noodles noodles then it is
t%j
~
Imagine thatl
~ en
In matters such as these there's much food for thought undoubtedly
~
Another guy would say there's little food
~
.L.4
::3
.
~ ~ ~
~
If the room costs 8 bucks it'll have to be (for 6 bucks
~
could eat better 7 even
o~
survive
t-3
o
on the edge of the white p r
~
to
trJ
e c
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o
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i p i
Q
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en
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That's his business!
8
~ ..... g gE-t
8
Z
e
o
feet first).
g
a little piece of meat perhaps here and there --canned meat-it's better than nothing. So many guys starving in the world!
en
&;
Just think
But 8 dollars a week that's 52 times 8 52 times 8 makes 416
rx..
::3 ......
~
o
;
Imagine that
416 dollars just for a room
UJ
~
8o but the room is important S; extremely impol1ant 0 ~onw SI :~m::HH.L :HS:HH.L SV HOnS SU:HJ..LVW NI .LVH.L ~
2
Noodles too Noodles
by themselves: a complete food -contains all sorts of good things-
But the room of course is more important though a room without food is useless with a large window with a view that's essential. Who gives a damn about the garbage cans in the yard and the
grey sky.
No! Ridiculous!
A view on the street
huge white hole and you fall in d
o w n that's better. So many rooms allover many without views but this time it's different: 8 bucks a week for a room 6 that's what it should be
that's what it was the last time
No! 9
52 times 6 makes only 312 312 for a room almost half almost human not quite
A room not just a room to sleep in to take craps in jerk off in hide in feel sorry for yourself in aroom with a meaning to sleep in only when you're tired... rDl Eventually a symbol: £J A working room and a piece of blue sky perhaps without the room it's useless hopeless particularly at times like these.
3 So many words ------an enormous gap ----a hole ------So many joints in one's life. Just hope there's no bugs in this one rats even worse scares rats with long trailing tails the shit out of me at night you dream they come to nibble your ears your nose gives me the creeps. Who cares Who cares about the furniture as long as there's a chair and a table a working table a table to work on of course the wall paper is important too. So many crummy wall papers in one's life: uninteresting shitty Wlexciting unimaginative even plain white wallpaper... This time it'll be tremendous: horses allover - - yes! flying horses ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Brown on white. Could help through the rough days moments of panic.
The horses brown the backgrotllld white -
Bet by the time you're out of there you will know exactly how many of them there are flying allover the walls in some places of course will have to put some of the pieces together-in comers at the bottom and at the top of the wall-Horses allover-near the ceiling-but as long as you've got four legs-four legs and a tail make a horse-you'll have a horse-one must work that out of course-slowly. What a stroke of luck after all these years. Here it goes:
Double or Nothing!
4 Could have lost your pants did you think of that? It's obvious Surely one thinks of that quickly anybody would.
Could call it that:
And living it up now living the time of noodles.
A Time ofNoodles A Time ofMacaroni
Noodles is better simply noodles that's not bad better in French though when they translate it Le Temps Des Nouilles wouldn't do it myself.
Tre",endous Could have him do the same eventually locks himselfin a room for 365 days or if you prefer 52 weeks but days are better locks himself up wiih his life - it's the only way to do it- all that crap about doing it at night staying up all night it never works you fall asleep night after night and nobody believes you anymore and yourhairis falling outand yourhands are tremblingand you're all fucked up day after day night after night sliding down the white precipice of course everything has to be planned in advance to the last detail to the last penny goes hand in hand. It's going to be tough tomorrow tomorrow morning October 1st and that's it let's say you begin on October 1st put the date on the frrst page one never knows that's for sure: - How long did you work on it? They'll ask for sure. -One year. - Only a year! - Just about. 365 days to be exact got to be precise. - Remarkable! Unbelievable! Only a year! That's the way to go. -Yes...
5 Yes. You see only 365 boxes.. .It's not unusual...You see Stendbal wrote La Chartreuse De Parme in 63 days that's something...Think it was 63 or maybe it was 66... At least that's what they claim... -Who? Who cares! October 1st and goodbye world goodbye people society and the little guy in the streetand the big guy in the big room and all the restgoodbye fresh air in the street in the parks in the country in we go go ahead. Could call it
A State o/Siege Siege in a Room
You start just like that:
Yesterday he arrived in New York. Sounds like Yesterday my mother died...•..Orwas it today? Almost the same. No got to start before that.
On the boat with New York somewhere in the background out there-----.) It's morning in New York it's always morning in New York when youarrivewhenyoucomebacknever fails you always come back to New York by train by boat by plane on foot bicycle automobile bus of course he doesn't know that the frrst time it is not possible It's morning in New York people are awakening slowly and getting up and getting dressed and so on intheircnmunylittlerooms and cursing the new day and feeling sorry for themselves most of the time He's got to think ahead be afraid a little anticipate with apprehension the worst but hope for the best It's foggy in New York that morning you know the kind of grey fog that gets you after a while the kind that drips from everything like soapy water from everywhere the kind that makes you say whatafuckingweather He's got to be really scared in the begiIming it's very importantit'sa damn importantmomentinhislifehedoesn't know thatbuthe thinks about it butnosentimentality in his own shy way he's about 19 Tomorrow morning that's it you enterinto the nights ofyourskull somebody has to do it into the chambers of the mind just like that no kidding it has to be told straight through without tears the truth because one can never expose only that which at a certainmomentcan become present can manifest itselfthat which can show itself present itself as a present a being-present in its truth the tmth of a therefore present or the presence of the present correct GOODBYE WORLD !
6 I shalt notserve that in
gggoooooodddbbbyyyeee
which I no longer believe whether it calls itself my race my country A
M E
R I C A
you can bet on that even if it doesn't work! correct.
416 dollars
imagine!
Should make a list quick before I forget And the wall paper Nice wall paper Horses all over And the sixth floor nothing less Wontt take anything less No reasons IC-s higher than the fifth floor Thaes for sure Gives you the sense ofbeing way up at the top before falling into the stinking white nothing Feet first without speech Sp~echkss Dammit! Dammit is right That cxtta 2 bucks even one could have made a difference could have helped Didntt think of that no didn't thin~ of anything Didn't even give a damn at fust Nor figure on that Even during the trip on the bus And what a trip Figured on 6 all the time 6 never 8 not even 7 or 6.50 nothing
Some guys are dreamers Some guys are realists But 6 bucks for a room today who gets that kind of room queersshitheadsliarscommunistsbumsdumbbastardsfakersmaniacsanarchistsjews Like that filthy stinking room in Detroit in the beginning must use thatwhen he arrives in Detroitwith the same furniture the bed in the right corner one chair and a table in front of the window only one window exactly the way it was and the crummy wall paper plain white without anything on it shitey ugly wall paper uninteresting boring lonely sick looking wallpap~r
That one cost even less:
5 bucks ifyou remember correctly remember
the smell the stairs the old lady the bed bugs
who can work in these conditionsl
7 8 times 52 Noodles next
What a blow! got to be!
noodles
macaronispaghettielbowsmanicottishellsspearsspiralsflatroundcurlysquare Variety that's the spice of life Though after a while it gets repetitious A guy must vary ifhe wants to survive Must invent Let it happen by itself Let the damn thing shape itselfby itself Create new forms New noodles Improvise anything Improvise on a puff of smoke Quickly And keep going
Do some research: copy add multiply cut quote steal invent transform manipulate reduce turn type note lie write rewrite cite smoke a cigarette cut your nails blow your nose watch the flies keep going reshape remake throw it away step on it eat it up chew it down crap out
each one hundred grams of that stuff contains approximately 5.1021 milligrams ofsodium imagine that the average serving ofthis product no kiddingwhen cooked contains approximately 1.52 milligrams without exaggerating ofsodium before each four ounces ofthis enriched product will provide the following percentages ofminimum daily adult requirements of these essential food substances how can a guy go wrong.
Vitamin B1 Thiamin •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• VitaJIlin B2 Riboflavin ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Iron .....•...•.....•............•...............................•.•...•.......•. No Salt Added ...................................................•....... Niacin .....................................................•.................. Doesn't come out even -
but what a discourse -
500/0 25% 320/0
00% 400/0 incredible
8
a pounda day one pound daily ofthat enrichedproductshould be plenty enough at least enough to survive on top ofthe wall before falling into the huge white hole feet first with the bugs and the flying horses and the chair by the window 365 pounds - then 365 one pound boxes.
Incredible!
Get boxes of course it's better it's easier it's safer safer to stack than those damn cellophane bags they use too clumsy too slippery those damn cellophane bags they use Get boxes boxes keep better too that's for sure surely-at my age Would be funny as hell though if the whole damn thing the whole damn batch the whole damn stock the whole damn pile went bad after a couple of weeks a few months let's say two or three months and you have to quit Everything spoils A disgusting smell in the room with all sorts of little bugs flying crawling sneaking in and out ofthe boxes allover the room with the flying horses and you can't stand it anymore and you have to give up!
That would be ajoke!
Wow!
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not noodles though that stuff that en riched stuff keeps for years could us e something else t hough just in case potatoes for insta nee no you have to tell it straight e xaetly how it happ ened there is enou gh to tell without inventing 39 cents a box that's too m uch 25 that's cia ser check of cours e but can one surv ive on noodles cou Id take a quick su rvival course just in case perhaps eg g noodles might be safer richer in ca lories egg noodles for a more eomplet e diet tastier too just a few pennies more for a box let
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us say 29 cents fa r a box sounds rig ht could vary a rna n's got to vary sh ells one day macar ani the ne~ spagh etti elbows spears manicotti flat one s round curly then back to shells all kinds all the same price 29 cents for a box 365 times 29 careful now 365 mu Itiplied by 29 rna kes $1 05.85 just t hink $1 05.85 for n oodles alone defin italy potatoes wou Id be cheaper of c ourse but would th ey keep no eventua lIy they get those long grey rat tail s and after a whil e they're like spo nges gives you the creeps noodles you said noodles it is
11.1 Yes but the potatoes the raw potatoes on the train remembed what a story: on the way to the camps the camps X*X*X*X
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Gm't come into this one...Nothing before the boat... Damn good story! Could sneak the potatoes in...next time.
The train The rats The old man The farm The camps The potatoes... Wow!
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A Time ofPotatoes Could have a whole series Could have awhole series
like that 20 or 30 volumes a kind ofBalzacian comedy
The Vegetable Comedy no even better than that
The Hunger Comedy no even worse than that
The Starvation Comedy 20 or 30 volumes in folio.
12 So many guys starving in the worldI But there are so many ways to cook potatoes a guy can really get confused go mad mashed French fried boiled potato salad yes but then you need oil and vinegar doesn't matter much and anyway can't waste too much time peeling the damn things and could never decide how to cook them agreed on noodles n 0 0 die s it is Love noodles adore noodles have a passion for noodles and they keep well too easily a year if not more also you cook the whole box in the morning for the whole day one cooking per day andyou have breakfastlunch anddinner in one pot over and done and up even cold they're not bad
takes only a minute to warm up
Every moment Every minute will count can't waste a moment a minute Should be able to work at least 12 hours a day even more: 15 or 17 at times like these one must push a little: 12 hours a day minimum 7 days a week maximum No Sundays Sundays are for proletarians.
12 times 7 mimimum that's 84 hours a week and those bastards who complain with a 40 hour week:
They don't know what work - JS Definitely.
The period in Detroitis important. Describe how he worked--48 hours a week in those days-in the factory: Chrysler that's the place what a joint! - Hands literally bleedingevenwith gloves on canvasgloves. Every detail counts: got to think about every detail No butter though too expensive and anyway it wouldn't keep no even if there is a refrigeratorin theroom notall places have one Doesn't matter. Only one chair. In time the table will move by the window. That's where the work will be done. 10 pages a day? That's a little less than a page an hour if you work 12 hours a day minimum that's already a lot.
13 Would be easier and simpler and more logical to do one page an hour
if only to keep track
12 pages a day.
365 days.
12 times
365 doesn't make sense at this
time Some days will be better than others Some days will be blank Some days will be tremendous But most important you've got to keep going The whole thing depends on that The whole thing is settled then
No butter right just a few cans of tomato sauce perhaps tomato sauce to add flavor tomato sauce on Sundays that stuff is cheap 10 cents? 15 cents? a can ? Separate problem
See how you come out at the end Let's say once a week on Sunday
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obviously there'l1 be no Sundays!
Then just a can of tomato sauce once a week anytime for extra flavor a little flavor a little favor once in a while when you can't take it anymorejustlike that anytime on the spur of the moment in moments of panic tomato sauce Heinz allover
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N evidently no weeks either after a while you won't even know which week which day which month itis for sure won'teven know if it's night orday particularly ifyou decide to work with the curtains close