Dealing with Feeling (Lucky Duck Books)

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D N O N C IO SE DIT E

CD ROM INCLUDED – with over 200 full colour printable posters, stories, self-reflection activities and take-home tasks to accompany the book

Dealing with Feeling An Emotional Literacy Curriculum For children aged 7-13

Tina Rae Illustrated by Philippa Drakeford

A Lucky Duck Book Dealing with Feeling INNER2.indd1 1

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© Tina Rae 2007 Illustrations © Philippa Drakeford 2007 Second Edition first published 2007 First Published 1998 Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form, or by any means, only with the prior permission in writing of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic reproduction, in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside those terms should be sent to the publishers. Rights to copy pages marked as handouts, certificates or overhead foils are extended to the purchaser of the publication for his/her use. The right of the author to be identified as Author of this work has been asserted by him/her in accordance with the Copyright, Design and Patents Act 1988.

Paul Chapman Publishing A SAGE Publications Company 1 Oliver’s Yard 55 City Road London EC1Y 1SP

SAGE Publications Inc. 2455 Teller Road Thousand Oaks, California 91320

SAGE Publications India Pvt Ltd, B1/I 1 Mohan Cooperative Industrial Area Mathura Road, New Delhi 110 044 India

SAGE Publications Asia-Pacific Pte Ltd 33 Pekin Street #02-01 Far East Square Singapore 048763

www.luckyduck.co.uk Commissioning Editor: Barbara Maines Editorial Team: Mel Maines, Sarah Lynch, Wendy Ogden Designer: Nick Shearn Illustrator: Philippa Drakeford Library of Congress Control Number 2006938968 A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library ISBN 978-1-4129-3031-4 Printed on paper from sustainable resources Printed in India at Replika Press Pvt. Ltd

Dealing with Feeling INNER2.indd2 2

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Contents Introduction and Background. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 The Structure of the Programme. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 The Structure of the Lessons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 Notes for Teachers: How to use the Programme. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Lessons 1-40. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20.

Feeling Angry. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Feeling Sad. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Feeling Afraid. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 Feeling Happy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 Feeling Surprised. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35 Feeling Loved. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39 Feeling Shocked. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44 Feeling Bored. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48 Feeling Jealous. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52 Feeling Ashamed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57 Feeling Lonely . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62 Feeling Greedy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67 Feeling Nervous. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72 Feeling Disappointed. . . . . . . . . . . 77 Feeling Rejected. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82 Feeling Shy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87 Feeling Arrogant. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91 Feeling Generous. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96 Feeling Selfish . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100 Feeling Intimidated . . . . . . . . . . . 105

21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40.

Feeling Accepted. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110 Feeling Alienated . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115 Feeling Bereaved . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119 Feeling Betrayed. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124 Feeling Brave . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129 Feeling Dominated. . . . . . . . . . . . 133 Feeling Deceitful. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 138 Feeling Envious . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 143 Feeling Frantic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 148 Feeling Guilty. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 153 Feeling Homesick. . . . . . . . . . . . . 158 Feeling Helpful. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 163 Feeling Impatient. . . . . . . . . . . . . 168 Feeling Inferior. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 173 Feeling Loyal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 178 Feeling Misunderstood. . . . . . . . . 183 Feeling Possessive . . . . . . . . . . . . 188 Feeling Sorry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 193 Feeling Stressed. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 198 Feeling Vain . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 203

Appendix. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 208 Letter to parents/carers Format. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 208 Useful organisations, websites and Publications. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 209 My Feelings Folder Format. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (CD-ROM) 224 Our definitions Format. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (CD-ROM) 225 The Assault Cycle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (CD-ROM) 226 Novaco’s Anger Model. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (CD-ROM) 227 The Traffic Lights Format. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (CD-ROM) 228 Emotions Scale. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (CD-ROM) 229 Good Group Work Format. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (CD-ROM) 230 Conflict Solver. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (CD-ROM) 231 Peaceful Problem Solver. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (CD-ROM) 232 Problem-solving Format. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (CD-ROM) 233 Problem Page. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (CD-ROM) 234


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Introduction and Background Since the publication of Dealing with Feeling (1998), there has been an increasing demand for resources and materials, which aid teachers and parents/carers in the process of developing children’s emotional literacy. This has, in part, been due to the wealth of research which highlights the importance of developing these skills (Apter 1997 & Baker 1998), alongside the current government’s agenda of social inclusion which aims to ensure that even the most ‘difficult’ and ‘socially unskilled’ pupils can be included within the school context. This programme is designed to be used with all pupils in the primary phase. It was originally based upon the premise that all children, at some time in their school careers, will probably experience some problems or difficulties in terms of managing both their behaviour and emotions. These difficulties, often associated with changes in both the home and the school context, will be exhibited in a variety of ways and for some pupils the difficulties experienced will be pronounced enough to merit a differentiation of the school’s behaviour management programme or policy. Such interventions may well enlist the support of parents/carers, staff and other agencies. This will tend to include work on raising the pupil’s self-esteem and developing more positive relationships with both peers and adults in this context.

Emotional literacy However, the main impetus for further developing this programme remains the wealth of research which links children’s mental and physical health to the development of emotional literacy (Goleman 1996, Grant 1992 & Rudd 1998). A central aim of the majority of such interventions, programmes and approaches adopted by teachers in schools, has been to develop the pupil’s ability to recognise, label and cope with the range of feelings that they may have to experience, and deal with, on a daily basis. The evidence that such programmes do make a difference takes the area of social and emotional learning away from the ‘deficit’ model, i.e. simply as something for children who have been given the social, emotional and behavioural difficulties label. During the last two years, the promotion of the Social and Emotional Aspects of Learning (SEAL) materials (DfES 2005) has firmly placed these skills within an entitlement curriculum for all children. This is further supported by continual references to emotional literacy in the Primary National Strategy professional development materials Conditions for Learning (DfES 2004) and Progression in Key Aspects of Learning (DfES 2004. This is clearly a positive move forward. As Elias et al (1997) state, ‘Today’s educators have a renewed perspective on what common sense always suggested: when schools attend systematically to students’ social and emotional skills, the academic achievement of children increases, the incidence of problem behaviours decreases, and the quality of the relationships surrounding each child improves. And, students become the productive, responsible, contributing members of society that we all want… Thus, social and emotional education is sometimes called the missing piece, that part of the mission of the school that, while always close to the thoughts of many teachers, somehow eluded them.’ (Elias et al,. 1997) Consequently, a central aim of this approach, like any other such programme, is to develop emotional literacy by fostering all our children’s ability to cope effectively with their emotions. Developing these kinds of skills has been seen to be an advantage to children both in and out of the school context. As Jean Gross (2000) states, “Emotional literacy, or emotional intelligence, is actually a better predictor for lifelong achievement than is conventional IQ. A person’s IQ predicts only a small part of lifelong success – ranging from 420%. Emotional intelligence, on the other hand, predicts about 80% of a person’s success in life.”


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Introduction and background

Such statistics clearly show that all children will benefit from becoming emotionally literate and in developing adequate social and emotional skills in order to be able to modify their own behaviours. This fact has implications for schools in terms of how they are committing themselves to ensuring that students and pupils have the opportunities to develop these skills both within and beyond the school curriculum. As Rae (1998) states, “Schools have a clear focus and a required commitment to teaching the curriculum and basic skills, i.e. the three ‘Rs’. It is becoming increasingly evident, however, that without a further commitment to teaching the fourth ‘R’, i.e. life and social skills of problem-solving, empathy, co-operation and emotional literacy, schools will be failing many pupils. Without these skills and the sense of personal identity, self-esteem and self-control that can result from focusing upon them, some pupils will also not develop the academic and basic literacy skills they require in order to reach their full potential.” Central to any programme which aims to teach this fourth ‘R’, has to be the understanding of feelings and emotions. In order to become emotionally literate, children “need to become aware of feelings in order that their own and others’ feelings might in turn be acknowledged, managed, accepted and thought about.” (Greenhalgh 1996) Sharp (2001) provides four reasons as to why emotional literacy needs to be promoted in children, parents/carers, teachers and those in the ‘caring’ professions. He suggests that human beings need to: 4 recognise their emotions in order to be able to label and to find them 4 understand their emotions in order to become effective learners 4 handle and manage their emotions in order to be able to develop and sustain positive relationships 4 appropriately express emotions in order to develop as ‘rounded people’ who are able to help themselves and, in turn, those around them. Clearly, what is also important is the fact that these skills contribute to improvement in the key areas of learning, achievement and behaviour and attendance. We know that the ‘emotional brain’ plays a pivotal role in terms of accessing, fixing and recalling information since each piece of sensory information entering the mind is immediately tagged with an emotional descriptor or label. It is evident that children and adults will recall and make more sense of information that is tagged with comfortable and pleasurable feelings. Also, giving children the opportunities to develop and practice strategies for handling uncomfortable feelings and difficult situations, will reduce stress and the need to act out, withdraw or enter a state of denial. Children who can feel comfortable and confident about their own feelings and how they handle them will also hopefully become learners who can concentrate, selfmotivate, co-operate and progress. They will also have a better chance of becoming what Sharp (2001) calls ‘rounded people’ who can help themselves and those around them.

Mental well-being This last part of the rationale perhaps suggests a link between emotional literacy and mental health. For Park (1999), this is a significant factor in the drive to promote emotional literacy both in the home and school context and in the wider social context. Park identifies continuous changes and waves of initiatives currently being experienced by individuals as one of the major reasons for promoting emotional literacy. He also identifies heightened expectations, increased social diversity, insecure and high pressure workplaces and the legacy of social exclusion in conjunction with the drive for greater social inclusion as mentioned earlier. In his view, it would seem that without the necessary support structures which include emotional learning, coaching and work based support systems, there may well be a greater risk of mental health problems alongside the failure of each individual to reach his or her full potential.


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Susie Orbach (psychoanalyst and co-founder of Antidote – a national charity set up in 1995 to promote emotional literacy) argues that, “Emotional development has been seen as unnecessary, as an extra that is just too hard to fit in given the constraints of the National Curriculum, as already existing in Circle Time or personal and social development, or as something that relates exclusively to children in difficulty.” (Orbach 1998 p.216) The fact that the number of British children experiencing mental ill-health has increased since the 1940s to an estimated one in five (The Big Picture, February 1999) suggests that such a view needs to be reviewed as a priority.

A new approach? It is important to emphasise the fact that this approach and the focus on social and emotional learning is not new. As stated earlier, many professionals have been involved in promoting and evaluating this area for a considerable time. As Morris and Casey (20060 point out: ‘Much of the subject matter of social and emotional learning is the explicit (though not exclusive) focus of, for example, the Foundation stage personal, social and emotional area of learning, Religious education, assemblies, and the transpose acronym and definition : Pers., Soc., and Health Ed. (PSHE)/ citizenship Personal, Social and Health Education (PSHE)/citizenship curriculum. Many schools develop the area further through the NHSS (National Healthy Schools Standard) and by using Circle Time, philosophy for children (PC4), the provision of school counsellors, peer mediation schemes and so on. It is important that whatever work is undertaken in schools builds upon existing staff skills and complements what is in place already.’ (Morris and Casey 2006, xvi). They also highlight the fact that the existence of such good practice does not mean that we do not need a further focus on the emotional and social aspects of learning. Feedback for schools involved in delivering emotional literacy initiatives, including the PNS SEAL materials (DfES 2005) would seem to support such a claim in that specific examples of ‘additionality’ were highlighted including: 4 Increased status and profile for social and emotional learning. 4 Legitimising this work with governors, parents/carers etc. 4 Giving coherence to existing initiatives. 4 Providing consistency in the use of language and handling of behaviour. 4 Increasing individual and corporate responsibility. 4 Increased credibility by working to specific learning intentions. 4 Increased progress in children’s knowledge, understanding and skills in this area. It is hoped that ‘Dealing with Feeling’ has become and will continue to be an integral part to such approaches. It is clear that since the first publication in 1998, a wealth of resources have been developed which have adopted a similar rationale and approach. This includes the SEAL curriculum (DfES 2005) which incorporates many elements of the approach utilised in the original ‘Dealing with feeling’ programme including: 4 stepped approaches to problem-solving including the Traffic Light method 4 self-calming strategies and approaches 4 the use of stories to introduce and generalise feelings in a ‘safe’ way 4 the use of role-play to introduce and practice social and emotional skills 4 a focus upon the development of co-operation and empathy in democratic and self-reflective joint problem-solving activities.


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These elements are incorporated into the new edition which also aims to further reinforce and develop aspects of the SEALs curriculum (DfES 2005). The idea here is that Dealing with Feeling specifically builds upon key skills of feelings management and awareness, self-confidence and motivation, problem-solving, coping with conflict and change and developing and maintaining positive relationships. It also now makes further use of solution-focused strategies and approaches and emphasises the importance of self-reflection as a key to identifying and promoting change. There is also an important emphasis upon including parents and carers in the programme via the introduction of the Take Home task element. This is a new feature which is particularly relevant given the fact that ‘there is compelling evidence that our emotional literacy or mental health is inextricably linked to that of our parents’. Also, ‘Breaking into cycles of deprivation might be better achieved by promulgating virtuous circles, whereby parents, care givers and teachers are supported in becoming emotionally literate themselves, and as a consequence are better able to promote the emotional literacy of youngsters.’ (Sharp 2001 p.50)

A preventative approach As with the first Dealing with Feeling programme, this new edition aims to provide teachers with the kind of preventative programme that will hopefully enable pupils to begin to develop the skills that they need. Alongside teaching the ‘academic’ curriculum, many primary school teachers have consistently made use of Circle Time approaches and resources (Bliss & Tetley 1993, Bliss, Robinson & Maines 1995 & Collins 2001) in order to aid the development and promotion of the school’s value system and in order to teach appropriate social skills and self-control strategies. Once again, this programme aims to focus more specifically on the development of feelings and emotions. The emphasis here is on the emotional and social skills which can aid children in developing an awareness of themselves and of others and in managing their own behaviour and emotions more effectively. As stated earlier, this kind of development can subsequently also ensure a positive enhancement of their ability to learn within the school context (Goleman 1996).

Emotion The Oxford English Dictionary defines emotion as, “…any agitation or disturbance of mind, feeling, passion; any vehement or excited state.” Daniel Goleman’s (1996) definition adds clarification: “I take emotion to refer to a feeling and its distinctive thoughts, psychological and biological states, and a range of propensities to act.” (Goleman 1996 p.289) There are obviously hundreds of emotions and there remains the continuing debate as to how they can or should be grouped/classified. However, the idea that there are a few ‘core emotions’ is supported by Paul Ekman’s work (1994) at the University of California in San Francisco. Ekman found that specific facial expressions for fear, anger, sadness and enjoyment were recognised by people from different cultures from all around the world, and he consequently considered these to be universal emotions. For the purposes of this programme, which once again aims at developing emotional literacy and awareness in primary aged children, I will aim to classify emotions and then develop a series of activities around them. The main categories as set out by Daniel Goleman (1996) are as follows: 4 anger

4 love

4 sadness

4 surprise

4 fear

4 disgust

4 enjoyment

4 shame.


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Naturally, within these categories there will need to be mention of the ‘related family’ of emotions. For example, when considering anger, it would also be necessary to focus upon fury, irritability and the jealousy that may be felt prior to, or alongside, this specific feeling. Each of the emotions included in this programme will be introduced, generalised and reinforced by a series of lessons. Each of these lessons will generally include the following: 4 introducing the emotion via a feelings poster and Circle Talk providing examples of situations which might engender such a feeling (usually via the story and Circle Talk aspects) 4 discussion – children will be given an opportunity to discuss times that 4 they have felt or experienced this emotion and self-reflect upon these times 4 role-play – in order to experience emotions in safety and to learn how to empathise with others 4 Circle games and activities to promote empathy and tolerance 4 practical and recorded activities and suggestions for reinforcement and development work 4 teaching self-control and solution-focused strategies as and when appropriate 4 self-reflection activities and Take Home tasks to promote further generalisation of the skills learnt. Each of the lessons is designed to meet the following objectives: 4 to enable pupils to identify and gain a deeper understanding of the feelings we all regularly experience 4 to develop an emotional vocabulary 4 to further increase empathy for others and awareness of how personal feelings and behaviours can impact upon those around us 4 to develop a range of self-control strategies and to encourage pupils to express anger and the more ‘difficult’ emotions appropriately, i.e. without fighting or hitting out either physically or verbally 4 to encourage pupils to be reflective and to gain a greater understanding of consequences 4 to improve pupil’s self-concept/self-esteem.

Individual Education Plans (IEPs) This programme can form the basis of a whole-class or small group project. It is designed to be used flexibly in order to meet individual needs and requirements, alongside aiding in the formulation of IEPs for some pupils as appropriate. Targets relating to feelings can be made specific and linked to the objectives listed in the programme. What is also important to remember is the need to encourage pupils to become involved in setting these targets and in monitoring their own progress in this particular area. Such involvement is crucial as: “There is positive association between pupil’s involvement, greater motivation and feelings of selfworth on their part. Pupils should be encouraged and guided in setting and organising learning goals according to their age and understanding; monitoring their own progress; reflecting on their learning, personal and social situations; describing their preferred tasks and work areas; and working cooperatively with their peers.” (Circular 9/94 DfEE 1994 para 31).

Tracking changes/success criteria It is vital that the target class, group or individual pupils who have been identified and engaged in this emotional awareness training programme, are carefully and consistently monitored. This may well involve more regular review meetings or evaluation sessions and a more systematic approach to redefining and forming specific or personal targets.


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Having made use of this programme on a frequent basis, alongside observing other teachers as they introduce and deliver these lessons, I am convinced that there is no ‘magic wand’ or ‘formula’ in this particular approach. However, I also remain convinced that if the general concept of teaching children to become emotionally literate is seriously understood and consistently incorporated into the curriculum of the school as a whole, positive and measurable outcomes will and do result. One such outcome, in some of the American schools who have included emotional literacy in the curriculum for some time, has been a significant drop in the number of suspensions (Goleman 1996 p.283). Changes and developments in pupils’ skills and achievements can be tracked via reference to the success list. It is possible for teachers, parents/carers and children to review progress by referring to this list. This resource could also then highlight areas for revisiting, reinforcement and for future focus and targets.

The success list: 4 Improved recognition and naming of own emotions (vocabulary). 4 More understanding of causes of feelings and behaviours. 4 Improved management of anger. 4 Improvement in self-esteem/self-concept – more positive feelings regarding self. 4 Fewer fights and verbal attacks on others. 4 Improved self-control. 4 Improved listening skills. 4 Improved performance in class work. 4 Improved understanding of others’ feelings, i.e. empathy. 4 Improved understanding of how actions and behaviours can affect others (consequences). 4 More understanding of relationships. 4 More able to share and to take turns. 4 Improved skills for solving conflicts.


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The Structure of the Programme This programme is divided into 40 lessons. Each lesson focuses upon a specific feeling, providing a complete lesson plan and ideas for reinforcement and development. The lessons are arranged in the following sequence: 1. Feeling Angry

21. Feeling Accepted

2. Feeling Sad

22. Feeling Alienated

3. Feeling Afraid

23. Feeling Bereaved

4. Feeling Happy

24. Feeling Betrayed

5. Feeling Surprised

25. Feeling Brave

6. Feeling Loved

26. Feeling Dominated

7.

27. Feeling Deceitful

Feeling Shocked

8. Feeling Bored

28. Feeling Envious

9. Feeling Jealous

29. Feeling Frantic

10. Feeling Ashamed

30. Feeling Guilty

11. Feeling Lonely

31. Feeling Homesick

12. Feeling Greedy

32. Feeling Helpful

13. Feeling Nervous

33. Feeling Impatient

14. Feeling Disappointed

34. Feeling Inferior

15. Feeling Rejected

35. Feeling Loyal

16. Feeling Shy

36. Feeling Misunderstood

17. Feeling Arrogant

37. Feeling Possessive

18. Feeling Generous

38. Feeling Sorry

19. Feeling Selfish

39. Feeling Stressed

20. Feeling Intimidated.

40. Feeling Vain


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The Structure of the Lessons Each lesson is structured to a similar pattern as follows :

Activities objectives 1. Warm-up activity 4 to help pupils develop empathy, turn-taking, tolerance and self-respect.

2. Circle Talk 4 to introduce and identify the feeling 4 to help the pupils define the feeling for themselves.

3. Story 4 to help pupils recognise, understand and discuss the feeling as experienced by people in the story 4 to encourage and further develop listening skills.

4. Question Time 4 to encourage reflection and understanding of consequences 4 to encourage listening and turn-taking skills 4 to increase pupils understanding and recognition of how their feelings and behaviours can impact upon others, i.e. empathy.

5. Act it out! 4 role-play to encourage pupils to recognise the emotions of others 4 to encourage co-operation skills 4 to generalise and reinforce the emotion in a safe way, i.e. they are ‘acting’ and therefore not being ‘themselves’.

6. Activity Sheet 4 to generalise and reinforce the feeling 4 to promote co-operation and listening skills.

7. Self-reflection activity 4 to reinforce skills and develop self-reflection strategies and problem-solving skills within a solution-focused framework 4 to introduce specific methods in order to promote behavioural skills 4 to encourage pupils to use an ‘inner dialogue’, i.e. self-talk 4 to encourage pupils to make use of stepped approaches to problem-solving.

8. Take Home Task 4 to generalise and reinforce the emotion 4 to encourage joint problem-solving 4 to promote parents and carers awareness and development of skills.

9. Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 to encourage pupils to develop their own ‘control’ strategies and methods 4 to encourage pupils to become more reflective 4 to further develop knowledge, skills and positive strategies.


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Notes for Teachers: How to Use the Programme The 40 lessons in this programme can be delivered in sequence as they begin with a focus on the most commonly understood and experienced feelings prior to moving on to more sophisticated feelings. However, once the first 5 lessons have been delivered, it can be assumed that the majority of feelings subsequently covered can be defined as more sophisticated. The teacher can therefore adopt a flexible approach in terms of selecting and adapting lessons for use with individuals, groups or whole classes.

Warm-up activity These activities are intended to initially break down barriers and set a positive and relaxed ethos for the lesson. Many of the activities and games make use of a Circle Time approach and specifically focus upon developing the pupil’s social skills. It is important that the teacher sets group rules with the pupils at the outset and that these are consistently reinforced in each lesson. The lesson plan for Feeling Angry includes advice on formulating these rules as part of the Circle Time approach. However, it would also be advisable for the teacher to have some understanding and experience of using this approach and useful references can be found in the bibliography. What is vital is that the teacher understands and uses this democratic and therapeutic process to foster the development of children’s social and emotional skills and ensure that their views, feelings and ideas are validated and respected throughout the course of the programme.

Circle Talk The feeling is initially introduced via the Feelings poster which presents a definition of the feeling to the children. They are then asked to formulate their own definitions and the teacher can record these on the Definition format provided in the appendix. Once again, a Circle Time approach is used in order to ensure that all the children’s feelings, views and ideas can be heard and validated. In this way, a list of definitions can be produced and owned by all involved. It is important to encourage pupils to develop their own personal definitions for the feelings as this clearly aids understanding and clarifies meaning on a more personal and individual level. However, as with Circle Time approaches – all ideas need to be volunteered. The Circle questions also engage the children in identifying how others experience and cope with the feeling and discussion of any relevant or appropriate coping and problem-solving strategies.

The story A story which highlights and focuses upon the defined feeling then follows. This aims to help the pupils recognise, understand and discuss the feeling as experienced by the characters in the story. A further aim here is to focus upon encouraging and developing pupils’ listening skills. The story should be read to the individual, group or class by the teacher and it is vital that it should be read with real expression and sincerity. You must be authentic in order to be convincing! The teacher will initially read the whole story to the class in order to then allow for the children to answer the ensuing series of questions. However, prior to the role-play activities, when the children are required to formulate a better or more positive ending, the teacher may wish to re-read the story, stopping at the Stop Hand. This is the point in the story when things have usually gone wrong but it is still possible to find a solution or construct a more positive outcome for the pupils concerned. It is felt important that the story should be read by the teacher. This allows for pupils to become really focused and to listen and understand the sequence of events. It is important that they should understand that this is their contribution to the process at this stage.


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10

Notes for teachers: How to use the programme

Question Time At the end of the story there are a series of questions which test pupils’ comprehension whilst also encouraging them to reflect, to think about consequences, to develop an understanding and recognition of how their feelings and behaviours can affect others and to highlight the differences between positive and negative relationships. The questions should be asked by the teacher, who also needs to ensure that contributions are made by all those who are willing – time permitting! Like the definition part of the lesson, this is once again an oral activity and I would therefore suggest that the pupils should remain seated in some kind of circle arrangement in order to facilitate this. It is also important that ‘appropriate’ and ‘right’ answers are reinforced by the class teacher sensitively, i.e. without highlighting any inappropriate responses in a negative way. The central character in the majority of the stories tends to ‘do the wrong thing’ at some point in the narrative. Consequently, one of the questions for discussion usually highlights this fact and asks the pupils what the character ‘should’ have done in order to have achieved a more positive outcome or to rectify the situation. It is extremely important to allocate adequate time for responses to this kind of question as it is this kind of problem-solving activity that is generally central to the next part of the lesson.

Act it Out! The role-play activity takes place after the questions for discussion. From personal experience of teaching the programme, this section of the lesson has proved to be the most enjoyable part for the majority of pupils. On reflection, I feel that this is because it provides them with a ‘safe’ way to generalise and reinforce the feeling, i.e. the pupils are required to act the parts of the characters in the story and are not required to be themselves. These activities encourage the pupils to interpret others’ feelings and views. The teacher is required to read the story up to the Stop Hand indicated in the text or to read the whole story as indicated. Most of the ensuing role-play activities require the pupils to work in pairs or groups of five or six and to ‘act out’ a better ending to this story and to then perform their scene to the rest of the class. This is a fun and exciting part of the lesson for most pupils but it does require careful management by the teacher, e.g. pupils need to be placed into appropriate groups and these groups should be organised by the teacher in order to ensure, as far as possible, a sensible ‘mix’ of attainment, gender and friendship groups. These groups or pairs can remain static or can change on a weekly basis – depending on the general make-up of the class and the discretion of the class teacher. It is also important to allocate sufficient time for the pupils to really negotiate and agree on the content of their scenes and practise these prior to performance! In order to help the pupils further develop their skills in co-operating and working well together, it may be helpful to encourage them to make use of the Good Group Work sheet found in the appendix. This solution-focused format can help them to identify strengths and areas for development. The classroom will need to be arranged to allow for four or five groups to have a working space and then to provide an ‘audience’ and ‘performance’ space. This is not too difficult, i.e. move the furniture to the sides of the room or to one end of the room, but this probably needs to be done prior to the start of the lesson itself in order to minimise disruption. The teacher needs to facilitate the groups via constant movement around the room. This will involve ‘visiting’ each group in turn and prompting or reinforcing the appropriate story lines and problemsolving approaches.


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It is also helpful to reinforce some ground rules for this element of the lesson. These could include the following: 4 We all need to listen to each other. 4 We all need to take turns. 4 We all need to respect each other’s space and ideas. 4 Everyone in the group needs to think of ideas and solutions. 4 We all need to use our imagination. 4 We must all be careful not to criticise others’ ideas but to build upon them. 4 We will all try to improve and build upon each other’s ideas until all have agreed the structure and content of the scene. It is important for the teacher to identify those pupils who may have more difficulty than others in taking part in such an activity. Such pupils will require sensitive and careful handling, and possibly additional support and modelling of appropriate behaviours and social and emotional responses.

Activity Sheet The activity sheet activity generally aims to reinforce and generalise the feeling. There is a focus upon developing pupil’s problem-solving skills and ability to work co-operatively in a pair or small group. Many of the activities highlight how people may experience the feeling and require the pupils to develop skills of empathy, tolerance and social awareness. The activity sheets need to be copied or printed out prior to the start of the session.

Self-reflection activity The self-reflection activities aim to further support pupils in developing their own personal ‘control’ strategies. It is also intended to encourage them to become more self-aware and more reflective. This activity takes the form of a self-reflection activity sheet. The pupils are required to specifically focus upon how they have or do experience the feeling and ways in which they may be able to deal with this feeling more productively in the future. There is also a focus upon enlisting peer support to solve problems and develop personal self-help strategies. A particular emphasis is placed upon enabling pupils to discriminate between ‘comfortable’ and ‘uncomfortable’ feelings. Throughout the Dealing with Feeling programme, feelings are not labelled as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – after all, it is clearly ‘good’ to be angry if someone is making racist statements even though this feeling may not be particularly comfortable at the time. Also, it is important and ‘good’ to feel fear in certain situations – particularly when this emotion induces you to run from a dangerous or impossible situation. Such points, like many others, will arise out of discussions and activities in these lessons.

Take Home Task The take home task aims to promote links with parents/carers and to promote a shared understanding of the concepts covered in the programme. This is important given the fact that emotional literacy develops from a combination of nurturing parents, teachers and interactions with peers and others in the social context. (Sharp 2001). Feedback from these tasks can be elicited at the start of each subsequent session. It is important, however, that the teacher is sensitive to individuals whose support structures are limited. Pupils should be asked to volunteer to feedback. This will ensure that those who need to can opt to ‘pass’. However, it is hoped that positive links and support can be further fostered via these activities. A letter to parents/carers is provided in the Appendix. This aims to specifically introduce these activities whilst also giving a brief overview of the course aims and content.


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Plenary The Plenary provides the pupils and the teacher with an opportunity to further reflect and summarise the key learning points of the lesson. A Circle Time approach can again be utilized here. A similar format is adhered to in each lesson as follows: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about this feeling in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this session if it was repeated for others in the future? This part of the lesson not only allows the pupils to articulate their learning achievements and future aspirations, but also encourages useful evaluative feedback for the teacher. This may help to ensure that future work on the Dealing with Feeling programme can be flexibly developed for the pupils in each educational context.

Ideas for Reinforcement and Development After each Plenary session, ideas are given for follow-on activities, which aim to generalise and reinforce the feeling. Many of the suggested activities also aim to promote co-operative working practices and listening skills. They include a range of solution focused problem-solving tasks including Peaceful Problem Solver, The Emotions scale and Good group work formats. Formats for these ( and other resources) can be found in the Appendix. The Traffic light method is presented as a reinforcement activity in each suggested list of activities. This is primarily because it has been found to be the most useful, practical and easily understood strategy by the pupils themselves. This Traffic Light Method is aimed at promoting behavioural skills, encouraging pupils to conduct an inner dialogue and to make use of the stepped approach in order to solve problems and to attempt to control certain impulses. The method is developed from the one described by Daniel Goleman (1996) p.276. When the lesson presents the pupils with a specific problem relating to a ‘difficult’ feeling (e.g. betrayal – a ‘good’ friend is cussing you or a member of your family behind your back), they are then presented with a problem-solving structure, which involves making use of the following steps: 4 Stop and calm down – recognise that this is the time to use the self-control strategy. 4 Think before acting – define the problem and the feelings. 4 Set a positive goal – think of as many solutions as you can. 4 Take action – try out your best plan. It is preferable for pupils to work on solving these feeling problems in small groups or perhaps even with a partner. Pupils can then be presented with the problem and record their responses on each of the steps on the Traffic Light Method activity sheet provided. The photocopiable format is also provided in the appendix. Responses can be recorded in short notes in order to reduce any pressure in terms of writing at this stage of the lesson. A pupil’s response to the ‘betrayed’ problem might then be recorded as on the example above. There will not be adequate time to complete all the suggested activities.


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Consequently, the teacher may well want to choose one activity or possibly allow pupils to choose one themselves from the suggested list. Activities could also be identified as homework tasks if this is felt appropriate. These activity sheets can be presented in A4 folders or homemade project books in order to ensure that a special record is kept of each pupil’s work during the course of the programme. A suggested photocopiable format for a feelings book is provided in the appendix. However, pupils frequently prefer to design their own book or front covers for these special files and should be given the choice of either option.

A final point I do hope that both the adults and children participating in the Dealing with Feeling programme enjoy the activities and that measurable social and emotional learning occurs that really makes a difference to those involved. I would emphasise the fact that, at all times, the teacher will need to be vigilant, sensitive and above all, authentic in his or her responses to the pupils and their ideas and feelings. Whatever feelings, problems and solutions arise in each of the lessons, it can safely be assumed that there will not be a dull moment and that some level of genuine emotional and social learning will result.

How to use the CD-ROM The CD-ROM included with this book contains activity sheets in PDF format. These provide the resources needed for the 40 lessons: a poster, story, activity sheet, self-reflection activity and take-home task These can be printed on to A4 paper in full colour. Adobe Acrobat reader version 4 or higher is needed to view and print these pages.


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References Apter, T. (1997) The Confident Child New York, London, Norton. Baker, P. (1998) Here’s Health Magazine March 20-22. Bliss, T., Robinson, G. & Maines, B. (1995) Developing Circle Time Bristol, Lucky Duck Publishing. Bliss, T. & Tetley, J. (1993) Circle Time Bristol, Lucky Duck Publishing. Burt, S., Davies, G., Lister, J., Morgan, R. & O’Shea, S. (1999) Six Years of Circle Time A Curriculum for Key stages 1 & 2 Bristol, Lucky Duck Publishing. Collins, M. (2001) Circle Time for the Very Young Bristol, Lucky Duck Publishing. DfEE Circular 9/94 para. 31. Pupils with Problems. DfES (2005) Excellence and ment : social and Emotional Aspects of Learning (SEAL) Cross Curriculum materials, London, DfES. Ekman, P. (1992) An Argument for Basic Emotions Cognition & Emotion 6 p.169-200. Elias, M.J. & Clabby, J. (1992) Building Social Problem-Solving Skills: Guidelines from a school based programme San Francisco, Josey-Bass. Elias, M.J. & Zins, J.E. (1997) Promoting Social and Emotional Learning-Guidelines for Educators Alexandria, VA : Association for Supervision and Curriculum development (ASCD). Goleman, D. (1996) Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than I.Q. London, Bloomsbury. Goleman, D. (1998) Working with Emotional Intelligence London, Bloomsbury. Grant, W.T. (1992) Consortium on the school based promotion of social competence, drug and alcohol prevention curricula San Francisco, Josey-Bass. Greenberg, M.T. & Kusche, C.A. (1993) Promoting Social and Emotional Development in Deaf Children, The PATH Programme Seattle, University of California Press. Greenhalgh, P. (1996) Behaviour: Roles, responsibilities and referrals in the shadow of the Code of Practice Support for Learning Vol.11 no. 1. Gross, J. (2000) The Emotional Literacy Hour:Teaching for Achievement in Bristol Schools Bristol, Lucky Duck Publishing. McCarthy, K. & Park, J. (1998) Learning by Heart: The Role of Emotional Education in Raising School Achievement London, Calouste Gulbenkian Foundation. Mental Health and Adolescents in Great Britain (2000) London, Stationery Office. Morris, E. & Casey, J. (2006) Developing Emotionally Literate Staff – A Practical Guide London Paul Chapman Publishing. National Healthy Schools Standard (NHSS) (2004) Promoting emotional health and well being through the National Healthy Schools Standard, accessed on line at : www.wiredforhealth.com Orbach, S. (1998) Emotional Literacy Young Minds magazine March/April 33, 12-13. Park, J. (1999) (Director of Antidote: The Campaign for Emotional Literacy) Unpublished paper presented at South of England Psychology Services Conference December 1999. Rae, T. (1998) Dealing with Feeling: An Emotional Literacy Curriculum Bristol, Lucky Duck Publishing. Rae, T. (2000) Confidence, Assertiveness, Self-Esteem: A Series of 12 Sessions for Secondary School Students Bristol, Lucky Duck Publishing.


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References

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Rae, T. (2000) Purr-fect Skills: A Social and Emotional Skills Programme for 5-year olds Bristol, Lucky Duck Publishing. Rae, T. & Robinson, G. (2002) Keep Your Cooool! Stress reducing strategies for Key Stage 2 & 3 Bristol, Lucky Duck Publishing. Rhodes, J. & Ajmal, Y. (1995) Solution Focused Thinking in Schools Behaviour, Reading & Organisation London, B.T. Press. Rudd, B. (1998) Talking is for Kids: Emotional Literacy for Infant School Children Bristol, Lucky Duck Publishing. Sharp, P. (2001) Nurturing Emotional Literacy: A Practical Guide for Teachers, Parents and those in the Caring Professions London, David Fulton Publishers.


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Feeling Angry

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Lesson 1: Feeling Angry Introduction

In this first session it will be helpful to briefly outline the main aims and objectives of the programme to the pupils. The series of lessons aim to provide the pupils with structured opportunities to develop their emotional literacy and emotional wellbeing. The teacher can provide an outline of the course and highlight some of the skills that the pupils will be working on. It is particularly important that this is done in a straightforward manner so as to reassure the pupils that this is not, in any sense, going to be a threatening experience. These lessons will be fun and the pupils will have the opportunity to develop their own skills within the context of a supportive and empathic group. The teacher can highlight the following:

Feeling angry is not always comfortable and you feel like hitting out!

4 The pupils will be learning about feelings – both their own and others’ and ways to cope more effectively with feelings that are uncomfortable, such as anger and stress. 4 The pupils will have opportunities to practice their skills and learn how to problem-solve both on their own and with others. 4 The pupils will have opportunities to share their learning with parents and carers. 4 The learning that they undertake in this programme will also help them to concentrate better in class; manage stress, anger and uncomfortable feelings more effectively; understand and respect others’ views and feelings and work better with others in groups. 4 They will also have opportunities to develop social and emotional skills in different ways – working individually, with partners and in group and whole class contexts. Most importantly, they will engage in a range of fun activities and games which will also ensure that the programme will be an enjoyable experience.

Group Rules In order to ensure that this positive, supportive and empathic climate can be set and maintained, it is vital for the teacher to agree group rules with the pupils. It is highly likely that they will have had some exposure to Circle Time methodology. This can now be reinforced and group rules formulated. These may include the following: 4 We will wait our turn to talk. 4 We will listen to each other’s views. 4 We will build upon each other’s ideas. 4 We will set realistic targets and help each other to meet these. 4 We will respect each other’s feelings. 4 We will try to find solutions, etc.

Warm up Activity Resources to print from the CD ROM The Anger story

For . this needAngry several balloons and a balloon pump. Within the circle the Poster. . . . . .activity . . . . . .the . . . facilitator . . . . . . . . will Feeling pupils are required to tell a story about a boy called Alex who was unable to cope with his anger. The teacher can start the story, asking each pupil to contribute a sentence as the pump is passed around the Activity Sheet. . . . pupil . . . . is . . asked . . . . . to . . describe . . Feeling Angry circle. Each one thing that would make Alex feel angrier and, simultaneously, put more air into the balloon. The pump can either be passed around the circle or, alternatively, one Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Angry volunteer could be nominated to pump air into the balloon each time a pupil contributes to the story.

Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Angry

Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Angry


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Lesson 1: Feeling Angry Introduction In this first session it will be helpful to briefly outline the main aims and objectives of the programme to the pupils. The series of lessons aim to provide the pupils with structured opportunities to develop their emotional literacy and emotional wellbeing. The teacher can provide an outline of the course and highlight some of the skills that the pupils will be working on. It is particularly important that this is done in a straightforward manner so as to reassure the pupils that this is not, in any sense, going to be a threatening experience. These lessons will be fun and the pupils will have the opportunity to develop their own skills within the context of a supportive and empathic group. The teacher can highlight the following: 4 The pupils will be learning about feelings – both their own and others’ and ways to cope more effectively with feelings that are uncomfortable, such as anger and stress. 4 The pupils will have opportunities to practice their skills and learn how to problem-solve both on their own and with others. 4 The pupils will have opportunities to share their learning with parents and carers. 4 The learning that they undertake in this programme will also help them to concentrate better in class; manage stress, anger and uncomfortable feelings more effectively; understand and respect others’ views and feelings and work better with others in groups. 4 They will also have opportunities to develop social and emotional skills in different ways – working individually, with partners and in group and whole class contexts. Most importantly, they will engage in a range of fun activities and games which will also ensure that the programme will be an enjoyable experience.

Group Rules In order to ensure that this positive, supportive and empathic climate can be set and maintained, it is vital for the teacher to agree group rules with the pupils. It is highly likely that they will have had some exposure to Circle Time methodology. This can now be reinforced and group rules formulated. These may include the following: 4 We will wait our turn to talk. 4 We will listen to each other’s views. 4 We will build upon each other’s ideas. 4 We will set realistic targets and help each other to meet these. 4 We will respect each other’s feelings. 4 We will try to find solutions, etc.

Warm up Activity The Anger story For this activity the facilitator will need several balloons and a balloon pump. Within the circle the pupils are required to tell a story about a boy called Alex who was unable to cope with his anger. The teacher can start the story, asking each pupil to contribute a sentence as the pump is passed around the circle. Each pupil is asked to describe one thing that would make Alex feel angrier and, simultaneously, put more air into the balloon. The pump can either be passed around the circle or, alternatively, one volunteer could be nominated to pump air into the balloon each time a pupil contributes to the story.


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Lesson 1: Feeling Angry

The idea here is to create a visual image of anger being stored, increased and finally exploding. The story can be started as follows: There was once a boy called Alex. He spent most of his time feeling angry. It seemed that everything in the world made him angry; even things that other people thought were funny or nice. One morning he got out of bed and tripped over his duvet cover. He hit his head on the bedpost and it hurt and made him angry. At this point, air can be pumped into the balloon. Pupils may continue the story with sentences such as then: 4 he went to the bathroom and found that the water was cold 4 he ran out of toothpaste 4 the bus was late 4 his best friend sat next to someone else on the bus 4 he was late for school and his teacher was angry 4 his first lesson was science, which is a subject he hated. The pupils continue this story until the balloon bursts. The idea here is to reinforce the fact that anger is accumulative. It is sometimes just a small incident that can trigger the explosion. Sometimes it can be something more important. But pupils can, in turn, decide whether or not the event that ultimately made the balloon burst for Alex was significant or a smaller thing.

Circle talk The Assault Cycle This poster can be found in the Appendix and can be used by the teacher to initially introduce the process of becoming angry, being angry and recovering from anger. This acts as a visual resource for the teacher to explain the process as follows: A. The Trigger phase – when something annoys you and sets off your anger. B. The Escalation phase – when your anger builds and grows stronger. C. The Crisis phase – when you’re likely to hit out or ‘blow it’. D. The Plateau or Recovery phase – when you start to calm down but you can still get upset and ‘flare-up’ very quickly if someone upsets you. E. The Post-Crisis Depression phase – when your body begins to calm down, your pulse slows, your breathing and heartbeat slow and you really start to feel more balanced. You may, however, also feel a little down after your explosion in the Crisis phase. You will reach your ‘normal’ state at this point. It is important to reinforce the fact that this is the normal process of feeling and being angry. What is vital is to highlight the fact that once we have become very angry, it can take up to 90 minutes before our bodies reach their ‘normal’ physiological state. This is why it is so important to take care of ourselves and learn how to take ‘time out’ during the recovery phase. It is also very important for us to learn how to identify our triggers so that we can use self-calming strategies in order to avoid the Escalation phase and Crisis phase. The pupils need to be made aware that learning such self-control skills will be central to the programme and not simply the focus of this first session. Self-calming and solution-focused problem-solving skills will help them to cope more effectively with a wide range of uncomfortable feelings.


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The Feeling Angry poster can also then be used to further generalise the feeling of anger to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Anger is not always comfortable and you feel like hitting out. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix. This reinforces the value and importance of the children’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does anger mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do other people show their angry feelings? 4 Why are some people afraid of this feeling? Are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling angry?

Question Time 1. What made Caris so angry at first? 2. Was she right to be angry? 3. Why was John so angry? 4. Is it important to win? If so, why? 5. What do you think will happen next? 6. What would happen if someone hit out like this in your playground? 7. Have you ever felt angry like this? When? Why? What happened? 8. What advice would you give to John? 9. What advice would you give to Caris? 10. What things might help us all to manage our anger better in both the classroom and the playground?

Act it out! The pupils can act out the story until they get to the STOP hand. They can then try to make up a different ending which is more positive for all involved. The teacher can encourage them to: Think carefully about what the characters might say to each other i.e. saying how they feel and what they want rather than hitting out.


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Work out a script for each character in which they make use of assertive ‘I’ statements rather than being aggressive. What could Caris have said to herself to calm down? Who else could have helped her? What could she have said to John?

Activity Sheets – Feeling Angry An Anger Model This poster can be found in the Appendix and can be used by the teacher to introduce the notion of an ‘anger model’, i.e. a picture of our anger and how we experience it. The model presented here is Novaco’s Firework Model. This visual tool identifies three aspects of the anger process as follows: The Trigger – this is the match that ignites a person’s fuse. The Fuse – this is the mind reacting and the persons’ thoughts and feelings producing a sense of fear or threat. The Explosive Cylinder – this is the body responding physiologically and may lead to the anger being expressed. The pupils can then use this model as a prompt to designing their own personal anger models. All of us experience angry feelings at some point in our lives or our daily experiences. To be angry is to encounter a normal healthy emotion. It may be useful to discuss the different ways in which we experience anger and how we see anger or feel anger. For example, some pupils may describe their anger as an erupting volcano or a firework exploding or hurricane brewing and blowing up etc. Pupils are required to draw their own anger models in the drawing frame provided and to use colours and symbols in order to represent how they experience this feeling.

Self reflection Activity – The Traffic Lights This activity introduces the pupils to a stepped approach to solving problems. This makes reference to the traffic light motif in three stages: STOP, standing for stop and calm down, what is the problem? i.e. identifying what the problem is, articulating this and stating the problem either verbally or in writing. WAIT – what is the feeling? It may be that the problem engenders many feelings and these also can then be recorded. List some solutions - The pupils are then asked to identify a maximum of four different things that they could do in order to solve this particular problem and GO, make a plan, choose which of the solutions you would try out first, if it doesn’t work then return to your plan and have another go. This traffic light method is made use of throughout the programme within the reinforcement activities. It can be used for a range of more difficult or more complex situations and also for more straightforward problems that the children experience on a daily basis. In this session it will be helpful for the children to identify the problem that they have which involves them feeling or getting angry with someone or something or a specific situation. They may have been unable to identify these individual problems during the circle talk aspect of the session.

Take Home Task – Anger Diary The pupils are required to keep an Anger Diary for a one week period. They are asked to describe when and why they got angry, identifying specific triggers, how they felt, what they thought and what they did as a result of these triggers. They are then asked to think about the consequences of their behaviour and to reflect upon how they might make use of more helpful strategies next time. The chart is fairly straightforward to use and requires minimum amounts of recording. What is most important here is that the pupils take the opportunity to identify specific triggers and how these affect their feelings, thought processes and behaviours. The idea here is to identify the most common trigger or triggers and to consider how they can deal more effectively with the feelings engendered on future occasions.


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Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling angry in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can think of something that has made them feel angry recently. They can imagine that they are in this situation again and make use of the Emotions Scale found in the Appendix in order to visualize a better outcome for themselves. 4 Pupils can write their own ending to the story from the stop hand. This can be illustrated and presented in the form of a mini book. 4 Pupils can use a traffic light method, found in the Appendix, to solve an anger problem. If someone continually cusses their mother when they go into the playground, they can make use of the stepped approach in order to try and solve this particular problem. 4 Pupils can listen to ‘angry’ music such as the closing orchestral end to Act 2 of the Walkure by Wagner or the Count’s Third Act aria from the Marriage of Figaro. They can imagine what the characters may be feeling and thinking and thought-storm all the words that they would associate with this music in order to then complete anger poems. 4 Pupils can design posters to illustrate how the body feels when they get angry very quickly. The illustration should include the following: Muscles tightening up and fists clenching The face going red or pale The mouth going dry The pupils dilating and the eyes appearing bigger The nostrils flaring The heart racing Faster breathing A churning stomach Sweating Very quick movements of the body. 4 Pupils can thought-storm a series of problems that they would associate with this feeling. They can particularly focus on events in the playground and then make use of the problem-solving sheet or the feelings scale found in the Appendix in order to solve these particular problems. 4 The pupils can design a series of Top Tip cards for anger management. These can include all the different strategies that they have learnt in the lesson and can be kept in an Anger Ideas Box within the classroom.


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Feeling Sad 4 Is it a comfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful?

4 How do other people show their sad feelings?

4 Do some sad feelings last longer than others?

4 Why are some people afraid of this feeling? Are they right to feel this way?

4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling sad? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way?

Feeling sad is when you 4 Who could help you? feelQuestion unhappy and full of Time 1. Whyand had thewant last night to been cry. ‘horrible’ for Hal? sorrow

2. Why do you think he didn’t laugh at the cartoons? 3. What do you think Hal wanted to say to his mum? 4. What do you think will happen next in this story? 5. Do you think Hal will be able to feel happy in the future? 6. Have you ever felt sad like this? When? Why? What happened? 7. Were you able to stop yourself feeling sad or did you have to wait for the feeling to gradually go away? 8. If you were Hal’s friend how would you support him? What advice would you give to him?

Act it out! The pupils can act the story in pairs until they get to the STOP hand. The teacher can then prompt them to try to work out how Hal can tell his mum how he is feeling and what she will say to him. The teacher may need to model the script for some pairs in order to overcome any initial embarrassment here. This could be a sensitive task for some pupils who have experienced similar events or situations and the teacher will need to be aware of such individuals’ needs. The endings may be sad or happy.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Sad In this activity the pupils are presented with a series of pictures and asked to identify why they think the people concerned may be feeling sad. The pictures include a little girl having her mobile phone stolen, a picture of a woman standing next to the grave of her dead husband and a mother waving to her son as he goes on a school journey etc. The pupils are asked to identify what’s happening in each of these pictures and to say whether or not they would feel the same way if they were themselves in the same situation. They also then have an opportunity to stop, think and reflect which of these situations : what do they think would make people feel the most and the least sad? They are asked to rank each situation in terms of sadness and to then also identify which situation would cause the most long term sadness to the individual’s concerned. There needs to be some opportunity for the pupils to discuss both their ranking to and their from classification sadness and sad situations. What is important here is to focus on Resources print the CD for ROM the fact that many of the things that make us sad will be similar but that sadness can also be person Poster. . . . . . .For . . .example, . . . . . . . if . .I . lost . . . .a . mobile . Feelingphone Sad I may not be particularly sad whereas if someone else specific. lost a mobile phone and they were particularly proud of the object or it had a special meaning for them, Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sad then they might experience more sadness than I would.

Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Sad Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Sad Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Sad


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Lesson 2: Feeling Sad Warm up Activity The Chair Game In this game, one chair is moved from the circle and a volunteer is asked to stand in the middle. This pupil should attempt to sit down whilst the others change places at the following commands. For example, swap places if you: 4 have changed your hair this year. 4 had cornflakes for breakfast. 4 came to school by car. 4 are wearing white socks. 4 feel happy today, etc. The pupils can be asked to contribute their own ideas for things that might cause them to move around the circle. The idea here is for the volunteer to try to sit down whilst the other pupils change places.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify anger triggers? 4 Did the Anger Diary help them to think of more helpful ways of responding to triggers in the future? The feeling Sad poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of sadness to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Sad is when you feel unhappy and full of sorrow and want to cry. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix. This reinforces the value and importance of the children’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does sadness mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave?


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Lesson 2: Feeling Sad 4 Is it a comfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do other people show their sad feelings? 4 Do some sad feelings last longer than others? 4 Why are some people afraid of this feeling? Are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling sad? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? 4 Who could help you?

Question Time 1. Why had the last night been ‘horrible’ for Hal? 2. Why do you think he didn’t laugh at the cartoons? 3. What do you think Hal wanted to say to his mum? 4. What do you think will happen next in this story? 5. Do you think Hal will be able to feel happy in the future? 6. Have you ever felt sad like this? When? Why? What happened? 7. Were you able to stop yourself feeling sad or did you have to wait for the feeling to gradually go away? 8. If you were Hal’s friend how would you support him? What advice would you give to him?

Act it out! The pupils can act the story in pairs until they get to the STOP hand. The teacher can then prompt them to try to work out how Hal can tell his mum how he is feeling and what she will say to him. The teacher may need to model the script for some pairs in order to overcome any initial embarrassment here. This could be a sensitive task for some pupils who have experienced similar events or situations and the teacher will need to be aware of such individuals’ needs. The endings may be sad or happy.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Sad In this activity the pupils are presented with a series of pictures and asked to identify why they think the people concerned may be feeling sad. The pictures include a little girl having her mobile phone stolen, a picture of a woman standing next to the grave of her dead husband and a mother waving to her son as he goes on a school journey etc. The pupils are asked to identify what’s happening in each of these pictures and to say whether or not they would feel the same way if they were themselves in the same situation. They also then have an opportunity to stop, think and reflect which of these situations : what do they think would make people feel the most and the least sad? They are asked to rank each situation in terms of sadness and to then also identify which situation would cause the most long term sadness to the individual’s concerned. There needs to be some opportunity for the pupils to discuss both their ranking and their classification for sadness and sad situations. What is important here is to focus on the fact that many of the things that make us sad will be similar but that sadness can also be person specific. For example, if I lost a mobile phone I may not be particularly sad whereas if someone else lost a mobile phone and they were particularly proud of the object or it had a special meaning for them, then they might experience more sadness than I would.


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Self reflection Activity – You feel sad? In this activity the pupils are asked to stop, think and reflect about times when they felt sad. They are asked to draw a picture of themselves when they are feeling sad and to be very detailed and clear about how they look; what’s actually happened to their body; what’s happened to their facial expression; are their shoulders sloped; do their eyes look sad, etc? They are then asked to answer a series of selfreflection questions as follows: 4 What triggered your sad feelings? 4 How did you behave? 4 Did anyone try to help you? 4 Did you ask for help? 4 Did anything help you? 4 How could you cope more effectively if you felt like this in the future? Who could help? They are asked to record their ideas in the ideas box. It is important in this activity to focus on the need to really analyse our feelings and think about them very carefully so that we can understand not only our motivation but also the ways in which we do and don’t help ourselves when we are dealing with more difficult or uncomfortable feelings. The activity is solution-focused in that the children are asked to envisage themselves coping more effectively and to specifically outline ideas and strategies that they might use in order to cope better when they next encounter such feelings.

Take Home Task – Feeling Sad This activity requires the pupils to consider some of the things that make them feel sad and to identify how a friend or someone else in their family might be able to help them in this particular situation. It is important to once again highlight the fact that we all do feel sad at times in our lives. Sometimes we can cope by taking time out for ourselves whilst at other times it is very good to talk to a friend or someone who is close to us in our family context. It should be possible for us to all help each other. The idea here is to encourage the pupils to discuss their feelings of sadness and times when they’ve felt sad with someone who is significant and close to them in their family context. They can identify ways in which they can also help this particular person when he or she is experiencing similar feelings. The final part of the activity asks the two individuals concerned to identify things that make them both feel sad and to consider whether or not they could agree on things that do and don’t help.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling sad in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?


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Lesson 2: Feeling Sad

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can listen to sad music such as Beethoven’s Symphony No 3 in E Flat (Second Movement) or the Sondheim Song – Losing My Mind. These pieces of music can prompt them into producing pieces of writing or poetry on the theme of sadness. 4 Pupils can investigate where people who have been bereaved or who are experiencing a loss may be able to access support and help. This could include Winston’s Wish and the children may, as a result of these investigations, make up a display of these agencies and the work that they do to help those who are bereaved. This may help to ensure that other children in the school are made aware of the kind of support that is available to them. 4 Pupils can use the traffic light format to solve a sadness problem. This problem is as follows: a child is very upset because he keeps seeing his mum and dad fighting. This is making him feel very sad that he feels unable to express this to either parent as he doesn’t want to make things worse for them. 4 Pupils can think about different kinds of sadness and how these often directly result from changes in our lives. For example, a friend leaving school, a parent becoming ill and dying, a pet being run over by a car, etc. 4 Pupils can design posters on the theme of change and sadness and how to survive it. They can include in these posters ways of showing how change feels and some of the strategies for survival that they would suggest.


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Feeling Afraid Feeling afraid is when you feel alarmed and scared of someone and something. Your heart may beat fast and you may want to run away.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Afraid Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Afraid Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Afraid Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Afraid Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . A Moment of Fear


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Lesson 3: Feeling Afraid Warm up Activity All Change This is similar to the previous circle game. However, in this game it is physical appearance that is used as a means of asking children to change places. For example: change places if you have black hair; change places if you have short hair; change places if you are wearing trousers; change places if you are wearing white socks, etc. In this game, a chair is not taken out of the circle. The aim here is to encourage the pupils to mix and focus on having fun within a context of legitimate movement.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger their sad feelings? 4 Did the Activity help them to think of more helpful ways of responding to triggers in the future? The Feeling Afraid poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of fear to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Afraid is when you feel alarmed and scared of someone or something. Your heart may beat fast and you may want to run away. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix. This reinforces the value and importance of the children’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling afraid mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do other people show their feelings of fear? 4 Do some feelings of fear last longer than others? 4 Why are some people afraid of feeling this way? Are they right to feel this way?


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4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling afraid? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? 4 Who could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why do you think Raff likes scary films so much? 2. Why did the boys think Jake’s mum was ‘good fun’? 3. Why would Jake’s mum be angry if she knew that they’d stayed up so late? 4. Would she be angry because they’d watched the scary film? 5. Why did the boys become so scared? 6. What do you think will happen next? 7. Have you every felt really frightened or scared like this? When? Why? What happened? 8. How can we help ourselves to cope with these feelings and situations?

Act it out! The pupils can act the whole story and then make up their own ending. There is no Stop hand in this story as there is no significant decision point for the characters. The idea here is for the pupils to convincingly portray the feelings of fear that the characters experience. The teacher can prompt them to consider who is going to be at the door? What will they do and say? How will the children react? What will be the outcome? How will they all feel? The pupils can make the ending scary, funny or sad.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Afraid In this activity the pupils are presented with a series of pictures each of which shows an individual or a group feeling afraid. They are asked to identify what’s happening and to record their thoughts under each of the pictures, clarifying why the individual(s) feel afraid and what they may be able to do in order to deal more effectively with that feeling or to overcome it. It will be important to encourage the pupils to discuss their ideas with each other and to see whether or not they can come to some agreement over the causes of these peoples’ feelings and behaviours.

Self-reflection Activity – Feeling Afraid In this activity the pupils are asked to identify a time when they feel or have felt afraid. They are asked how this feels and to distinguish whether or not it is a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling. They are also asked to consider what it makes them feel like doing, i.e. what the resulting behaviour may be. They are then asked the question: do I need to help myself when I feel like this – if so, how can I? And also, if I need help, who else can help me? The idea here is to reinforce the fact that even when we do experience uncomfortable feelings which may result in us behaving in an inappropriate way, we can, if we are more analytical, recognise our triggers and prevent ourselves from acting inappropriately. An important point to emphasise is the fact that if we have a plan which includes a range of strategies, then we are more likely to move forward positively. We are in a more powerful position as we are more able to manage our feelings.

Take Home Task – A Moment of Fear In this activity the pupils are asked to identify a time when they felt very afraid and to discuss this with a friend or member of their family. They are then required to ask the other person when they experienced similar feelings. This discussion should enable both the pupil and friend or significant adult to complete the chart. This involves a sentence completion activity as follows: I felt afraid because


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Lesson 3: Feeling Afraid 4 what I thought, 4 what I did, 4 who helped me, 4 what might I do differently next time.

Finally, they are asked to engage in a reflection activity in order to identify similarities and differences in responses and to also consider what strategies may have helped both individuals and what might be useful to them in the future.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling afraid in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can listen to music that may make them feel afraid, such as Act 1 of Mozart’s The Magic Flute. In this opening scene, Tamino, is fighting a monster. Alternatively, Wagner’s Opera, Gotterdammerung, has a wonderful part in Act 3 where Gutrune is all on her own. The pupils can consider why this music represents this feeling. What is it about the way it’s constructed? What is it about the story that it’s telling? 4 Pupils can write horror stories in the style of a newspaper report, illustrating these and making use of the computer to desktop publish their work. 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light Method to solve the following problem: You are scared of the dark and hate going to bed at night. 4 Pupils can conduct a fear survey making a list of all their fears and finding out how many pupils in their class share these fears. The information could be recorded in a picture chart or bar graph. This is a particularly useful activity, given the fact that some children initially find it quite difficult to own up to feeling afraid of anything. Being made aware that others share these fears can be helpful and empowering. 4 Pupils can make illustrated lists or posters entitled: ‘How to Overcome Your Fear or Phobia’.


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Feeling Happy Feeling happy is when you are enjoying yourself and want to smile. It’s a warm and comfortable feeling.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Happy Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Happy Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Happy Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . My Happy Moments Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Happy Moments


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Lesson 4: Feeling Happy Warm up Activity Catch the Fox’s Tail In this circle game, each pupil has to have access to coloured bands of materials. There also needs to be adequate space for the pupils to move around in. The pupils tuck the bands into their waistbands at the back, leaving enough material hanging to represent a fox’s tail. The facilitator then shouts ‘GO’ and the pupils are required to run around in an attempt to try and catch the tails of the other foxes whilst simultaneously keeping their own tails intact. The chairs can be set out as for circle time and the pupils can be asked to run around the outside of the chairs. If a pupil’s tail is taken, then he/she has to sit on the side of the circle until the end of the game. Pupils are not allowed to touch any other part of the fox, i.e. only the tail is permitted. This is quite a fast moving activity and it should be possible to complete the game in a couple of minutes. The captured tails can then be redistributed and the game can be repeated if time allows.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger their feelings of fear? 4 Did the Activity help them to think of more helpful ways of responding to triggers in the future? The Feeling Happy poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of happiness to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Happiness is when you are enjoying yourself and want to smile. It’s a warm and comfortable feeling. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling happy mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do other people show their feelings of happiness?


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4 Do some feelings of happiness last longer than others? 4 Why are some people afraid of feeling this way? Are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were unable to feel happy when everyone else in your group seemed to be having a good time? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way and were unable to feel happy with others? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why did Basil feel so happy when he woke up? 2. What had he felt like on his last birthday? 3. Why was this? 4 What did Basil like so much about his dad? 5. What did Basil’s mum mean when she said “We can still be a family”? 6. What is your definition of a family? 7. What do you think will happen next? Where will they go? 8. Have you ever felt so happy or enjoyed yourself so much you thought you could cry? When? Why? What happened?

Act it out! The pupils can act out Basil’s brilliant day. They can think of all the fun things that might happen and what would be the end to this perfect day. The teacher can prompt each group to discuss and agree on what the family do and where they go. What is most important is for each character to feel and show their happiness and for there to be no disagreements or conflicts which might engender more uncomfortable feelings.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Happy In this activity the pupils are asked to formulate definitions of happiness. They are asked to identify what makes people feel happy and to clarify whether or not this happiness is caused by other people, having certain things or being in particular situations. They are asked to record their ideas on the activity sheet by completing the sentences and illustrating each definition.

Self-reflection Activity – My Happy Moments In this self-reflection activity the pupils are asked to think about a time when they felt really happy. What was happening? Were they on their own or with friends or family members? Why was this such a special and happy time? They are provided with a series of headings which help them to organise their ideas and also prompt their thinking. The final part of the self-reflection activity requires them to discuss a series of questions with a partner as follows: 4 What did you do to make this a special time? 4 Do you think that your feelings, attitude or behaviour may have made others feel happy as well? Clearly, the idea here is to emphasise the fact that it is usually positive relationships with others that cause us to feel content and happy and not necessary just the acquisition of material goods. How we respond and behave towards others can have a huge impact. If we are positive, motivating and encouraging towards them, it is usually the case that we will receive similar treatment and warmth in return.


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Lesson 4: Feeling Happy

Take Home Task – Happy Moments In this activity the pupils are asked to identify the ways in which they make others feel happy, specifically one friend or family member. They are asked to discuss their ideas and record them on the activity sheet provided. This task involves an element of discussion and self-disclosure. It is important for each individual to be as positive as possible and not use this as a means of directing behaviour or judging or chastising. For example, it would not be particularly helpful if the adult said to the child ‘you make me feel happy when you do what I tell you to do’, or alternatively if the child said to the adult ‘you make me feel happy when you let me have my own way all the time’. However, if these sort of statements are made then it is hoped that both individuals involved can also take the opportunity to unpick these behaviours a little further and to consider what things they do or can do that will engender truly authentic feelings of happiness in each other. Finally, both individuals concerned are asked to make a pact in order to promise to do more of the things that make each other feel happy for more of the time.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling happy in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can make a ‘Happiness is …’ book with each child designing their own page which can be illustrated and presented in wire bound format. 4 Pupils can look for ‘happy’ articles in newspapers and magazines. This will perhaps help to reinforce the fact that much of what we read or see in the media tends to be negative or sensationalised. It will be interesting to identify how many times in a newspaper that something joyful or happy is reported. Pupils can report back to the group as a whole on what they found out and provide summaries of the happy stories or articles that they’ve found. 4 Pupils can paint pictures of happy faces or happy self-portraits. These can include all of the items, people and situations that may make them feel happy themselves. 4 Pupils can discuss the fact that motivating yourself when you feel down is very important. We can do things, think things and say things to ourselves in order to maintain a more contented state of mind and balance of feelings. The pupils can work out their own list of self-talk statements and ways to stay happy and content.


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Feeling Surprised Feeling surprised is when you feel very excited by something sudden or unexpected. It can be comfortable or uncomfortable or maybe both at the same time.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Surprised Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Surprised Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Surprised Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . Surprise 1 Surprise 2 Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . Surprise! Surprise!


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Lesson 5: Feeling Surprised Warm up activity Pass the Ball The game focuses on promoting careful looking skills and co-operation. The pupils are asked to stand in a circle facing inwards. One pupil is then chosen to stand in the middle of the circle. The other pupils pass the ball around the circle behind their backs. The pupil in the centre is required to guess where the ball is. When they think they know where the ball is they can shout ‘STOP’. All the pupils then stand still while the pupil makes two guesses as to where they think the ball may be. If they are correct, they are then able to swap places with the pupil who has the ball. If they guess incorrectly, then the game resumes and the player in the centre can have up to three turns at guessing. In order to make this slightly more difficult, the teacher may wish to have two objects passed around the circle simultaneously. The pupil in the centre will then be required to guess where both objects are after they have shouted ‘STOP’.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger their feelings of happiness? The feeling Surprised poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of surprise to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: feeling surprised is when you feel very excited by something sudden or unexpected. It can be comfortable or uncomfortable or may be even both at the same time. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling surprised mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do other people show their feelings of surprise?


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4 Do some feelings of surprise last longer than others? 4 Why are some people afraid of feeling this way? Are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feelings surprised in an uncomfortable way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why did Jason ‘need’ to run so fast? 2. What had Alex forgotten? 3. Do you think Jason meant it when he said “Its okay”? 4. How did Jason know that his mum and dad had really forgotten? Can you give two reasons? 5. Did he have any idea at all that his mum and dad would organise such a party? 6. Have you ever had a lovely surprise? When? What happened? 7. Can surprises sometimes be uncomfortable or unpleasant? 8. Why do some people say that they do not like surprises? 9. What kind of surprise would you not like and why? 10. What would be the best surprise for you?

Act it out! The pupils can act out the whole story. There is no STOP hand as the outcome is extremely pleasant for Jason. The teacher can prompt them to try to show how Jason moves from disappointment to surprise and happiness. Also, to really focus on how surprised Jason felt when he got to his house and to consider how he would have looked and what his voice would sound like.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Surprised In this activity the pupils are asked to design their own surprises. They are required to identify a surprise that they would like, a surprise that a friend would like, a surprise that a parent or carer would like and a surprise that their teacher would like. These surprises can be illustrated and labelled in each of the boxes provided on the activity sheet. The pupils are finally asked to think about what kind of surprise each of these people would not like and to identify the reasons for this. It is important that time is allocated for this aspect of the activity so that they can discuss their ideas with a partner and record them on the back of the activity sheet. It would also be helpful to feedback and engender further discussion in the group as a whole so as to clarify what does and what does not constitute the good or pleasant surprise.

Self-reflection Activity – Surprise 1 and Surprise 2 In this activity the pupils are asked to consider how surprises can be both pleasant and unpleasant. They are asked to consider a time when they had a lovely surprise and also to describe a surprise that wasn’t so pleasant. They are asked to describe how they felt, what they thought and what they did as a direct result of being surprised. Finally, there is a reflection activity which they can undertake with a partner or friend. This asks them to consider if they had an unpleasant surprise in the future, what they could do to help themselves calm down and cope more effectively. They are asked to consider who else could help them and to formulate a specific plan. Once again, the focus here is on planning for every eventuality and being prepared with really useful and appropriate strategies.


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Lesson 5: Feeling Surprised

Take Home Task – Surprise! Surprise! In this activity the pupils are asked to work with a friend or a member of the family in order to jointly plan a surprise for someone else in their family context or group. They are asked to think about what this person would really like and to record their ideas on the surprise card provided. This card identifies: 4 what the surprise will be 4 why this surprise was decided upon by the individuals concerned 4 why they feel that the other person will like the surprise Finally, the surprise card is signed ‘with very best wishes’.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling surprised in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can write their own story entitled ‘The Surprise’ and try to include as many different words as they can which describe this particular feeling. 4 Pupils can consider the distinction between pleasant and unpleasant surprises. Sometimes we get a pleasant surprise and it makes us feel very happy and comfortable. At other times the surprise might be unpleasant and cause feelings that are sad and uncomfortable. The pupils can work with partners in order to make two lists – one of pleasant surprises and one of unpleasant surprises. They can then see if they agree on the distinctions that they’ve made. 4 Pupils can complete a word investigation. They can time themselves for approximately five minutes using an egg timer and work in groups in order to search out as many different words as they can that mean almost the same as the word surprise. They can make use of dictionaries and a thesaurus for this purpose.


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Feeling Loved Feeling loved is a special feeling when you know you are cared for and accepted… someone has a real affection for you!

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Loved Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Loved Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Loved Self-Reflection Activity. . . Feeling Loved and Cared For Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Love Is?


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Lesson 6: Feeling Loved Warm up Activity Imaginary Line Game In this game, the pupils are asked to imagine that there is a line going down the centre of the floor, i.e. in the middle of the circle. The teacher then explains that they are going to read out two opposing statements. The pupils are asked to stand on the line at one end or the other, or in the middle of the line, according to where they think they are on the scale. It may be helpful to number the scale from 0-10 using chalk or, alternatively, place large sheets of paper which are numbered, along the line in the centre of the circle. The teacher can then read out a series of statements indicating which end of this imaginary line is which. For example: 4 I love eating any food…… I’m very picky about what I eat. 4 I always feel angry and argue with people ……I never feel angry and argue with people. 4 I love playing football…… I hate playing football. 4 I enjoy art lessons …… I totally dislike art lessons. 4 I’m very neat in my work …… I’m very messy in my work. 4 I get on well with my friends ……I don’t get on well with my friends. The teacher needs to reinforce the fact that there are no right answers here. The idea is to highlight the fact that we are all similar and we are all different. It would obviously be a very dull world if all of us were the same.

Circle talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger feelings of surprise? The Feeling Loved poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of love to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Loved is a special feeling when you know you are cared for and accepted. Someone has a real affection for you. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the children to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the children. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling loved mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition?


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4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do other people show their feelings of love? 4 Do some feelings of love last longer than others? 4 Why are some people afraid of feeling this way? Are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling unloved How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question time 1. Why did Cara feel so happy? 2. Why did she cry when she was so happy? 3. Did Sally think that Cara was happy or sad? Why? 4. What had happened to Cara once her mum had become very ill? 5. Why was Sally so pleased with Cara’s news? 6. What did Cara feel when Pam and John had said they would adopt her? Why do you think she said “I couldn’t handle it”? 7. Why do you think Cara might find it difficult to show her feelings and tell Pam and John how much she loves them too? Do you think she had felt rejected in the past? Why? 8. Who do you think loves you like this? How do they show this love to you? How does being loved make you feel? 9. Who do you love in this way? How do you show this feeling to others? 10. Why do you think that some people find it harder than others to show their feelings of love for others?

Act it out! There is no Stop hand in this story as there is no significant decision point. The pupils can act this story in pairs. If they want they can change the names of the characters to suit the gender of the group, e.g. Cara and Sam, Bob and Alex, etc. The idea here is to really focus on the depth of feeling experienced by Cara and how feeling loved can be both an extremely comfortable and uncomfortable feeling. These can sometimes be the hardest feelings for some of us to articulate. The teacher will need to be sensitive to individuals’ development here and provide scripts and prompts to start scenarios for some pairs in the group.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Loved The pupils are asked to write a love letter to someone who is particularly special to them. It is important to highlight the fact that when we do love other people, it is necessary and vital that we let them know how we feel in order to further foster and maintain this positive relationship. Sometimes it is necessary for us to actually make time to do this. The pupils are asked to think of someone that they really love


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and then think of all the reasons why they love them so much and to record these ideas within this love letter.

Self-reflection Activity – Feeling Loved and cared for In this activity the pupils are asked to self-reflect about the times when they have felt loved and cared for by others. These could be friends, teachers, family members, etc. What was it that these people did in order to make them feel this way? What did they say and how did they show their love? The pupils are asked to record their ideas on the thought-storming chart provided. The final part of this self-reflection activity requires pupils to work in pairs in order to answer three questions as follows: 4 How do you show your feelings of love to others? 4 Why do you think it is important to do this? 4 What might happen if we didn’t show people that we cared about them? It may be helpful to allow some time for further discussion so that each pair can feed their ideas back to the group as a whole. Similarities and differences can then be highlighted. These may include different ways of actually showing love and affection and also different thoughts about what might happen if we didn’t show love for one another.

Take Home Task – Love Is? In this activity the pupils are asked to work with a friend or member of the family in order to identify a series of definitions as to the nature of love. They are asked to consider the fact that people may have different interpretations of this particular feeling. For example, someone once said ‘love is never having to say you’re sorry’, whereas many people would say exactly the opposite. The idea here is to prompt thinking and discussion and to agree definitions which can be recorded jointly on the though storming chart provided. This should hopefully raise some interesting issues such as does love mean that you never tell a lie to someone? Does love mean that you are faced with being true at all times? Does love mean that you never hurt someone? Alternatively, does love mean none of these things and does it simply mean trying to be kind, true, loyal and just towards significant others in your life?

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling loved in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 The pupils can write their own endings to the story. They will need to think carefully about the conversation that Cara will have with Pam and John. How will she explain why she ran out of the house? How will she tell them that she loves them and feels so happy that they want her to stay with them? What will they do in order to celebrate?


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4 Pupils can design a class ‘Love is…’ book. Each member of the class can make up one sentence and illustrate this for the book, e.g. love is caring for your friend, love is making dinner for your mum when she feels ill, love is helping your sister with her reading. They can design their own writing frames for this purpose, illustrating these with appropriate designs. 4 Pupils can design a collage picture to describe someone that they love very much. They can use balloons or cloud bubbles or labels around this portrait in order to then write down all the different things that they love about that person. 4 Pupils can listen to the love scene from Richard Strauss’s Symphonia Domestica. They can then thought-storm all the words, images and feelings that this music gives to them.


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Feeling

Shocked Feeling shocked is when you feel so surprised that you may become virtually immobile and even unable to speak.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Shocked Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Shocked Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Shocked Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . In Shock Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Shocking Times


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Lesson 7: Feeling Shocked Warm up Activity Sharks This game requires a reasonably large space and a number of mats and it’s probably best to make use of the hall or playground space. Pupils are asked to run around this space avoiding the mats which will have been placed evenly around the room by the facilitator prior to the start of the session. The area around the mats represents the sea and the mats are the areas of dry land. When the teacher shouts ‘SHARKS’ the pupils must find themselves a space on the mat by the time the facilitator has counted to five. The pupils who are left in the water after this are eaten up by the sharks, i.e. they are out of the game. After each of these shark attacks, one mat is removed. The idea here is to see how few people can be lost to these sharks in a set time, e.g. 5 or 10 minutes. Pupils will need to be co-operative and help each other, i.e. call to people and make space for them on the mats. As the number of mats decreases they will clearly have to move closer in together and hold on to as many people as they can in order to save each other from the shark attack. The idea here is clearly to not only have fun but also to focus on skills of co-operation.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger feelings of love? The Feeling Shocked poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of shock to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling shocked is when you feel so surprised that you may become virtually immobile and even unable to speak. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the children. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling shocked mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave?


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Lesson 7: Feeling Shocked 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do other people show their feelings of shock? 4 Do some feelings of shock last longer than others? 4 Why are some people afraid of feeling this way? Are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling shocked? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why was Jake so excited? 2. What does “the bug” refer to? 3. Why were the boys over an hour late? 4. How could Jake be so sure his mum hadn’t gone out? 5. Why did Sid describe Jake’s mum as looking like a statue? 6. Why did Agnes think Jake was ‘in shock’ too? 7. Have you ever had a shock? When? Why? What happened? 8. Do you think you can help someone who is in shock?

Act it out! The pupils can act out the whole story. There is no STOP hand as the outcome for all involved is very positive. The teacher can encourage the pupils to try to show how shocked the characters were and to pay special attention to facial expressions, body posture and voice tones.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Shocked The pupils are presented with a series of pictures in which people are clearly feeling very shocked. They are asked to identify what is happening in each of the situations and to also identify what they think might help each person to recover from this feeling of shock. They are asked to record their ideas in speech and thought bubbles on the activity sheet. It may also be helpful to encourage the pupils to work in pairs or small groups so that they can discuss their ideas and see if they can come to some agreement as to why each person might be experiencing this particular feeling.

Self-reflection Activity – In shock! In this activity the pupils are asked to self-reflect about a time when they were in shock or, alternatively, when they saw someone else who had experienced a shock. What did they look like? How did they feel? What were they thinking and what did they do? They are asked to draw a picture of themselves or this other person experiencing this particular feeling and to use labels in order to describe what was happening. The final aspect of the activity involves reflection and research. The pupils are once again asked to work with a partner in order to answer the following questions: 4 What do people need when they experience a shock? 4 Who can help and how? 4 Could you help someone and, if so, how? 4 How could you be sure that you were doing the right thing?


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It will be important to ensure that pupils have access to relevant literature and information booklets from appropriate agencies. They need to know who they can ‘phone and contact if they see someone in such a state and also what would be inappropriate to do in attempting to help someone.

Take Home Task – Shocking Times In this activity the pupils are asked to discuss and identify events that they have caused them to feel or experience an element of shock. It is important to highlight the fact that we do all experience shocking times or events at some point in our lives and that these can be either pleasant or unpleasant. The pupils are asked to work together with a friend or significant adult in order to complete the chart. This identifies something that shocked them in the past, something that might shock them now and something that might shock them in the future. They are finally required to effect further on their responses identifying any similarities and differences and also considering what strategies might help them both in order to cope more effectively with the shock in the future.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling shocked in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can write their own stories entitled: ‘The Big Shock’. They can try to describe accurately how someone who is in shock actually looks and sounds and make use of a newspaper style format for this activity. Pupils can produce drawings of people before and after a shock showing the differences between these two feeling states, e.g. after the shock the person may be redder in the face, their eyes may be dilated and their hair may even be standing on end. 4 Pupils can investigate the kinds of medical support that are available when someone does go into shock for whatever reason. It may be useful to ask a paramedic to visit and discuss their role with the pupils and to also gather relevant literature which may be able to inform them further. 4 The pupils can then produce lists of things to do and not to do when you encounter someone who is experiencing a shock of some kind. 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light Method found in the Appendix to solve the following problem : Your mum has just found out that she has lost her job and she is in shock. What can you do? How can you help her?


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Feeling Bored Feeling bored is when you feel fed-up, tired and weary of everyone and everything. You are too restless to get excited or enjoy anything at all.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Bored Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Bored Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Bored Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . Boredom Questionnaire Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ban the Boredom


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Lesson 8: Feeling Bored Warm up activity Monarch of the Glen The facilitator will need to make sure that a blindfold is made available for this game. One pupil is chosen to be the Monarch and asked to stand in the centre of the circle wearing the blindfold. On the command of ‘GO’ the other pupils walk around the circle until the Monarch shouts ‘STOP’. The Monarch then points in front of them and asks, ‘Who is it there?’ or ‘Who goes there – friend or foe?’ The pupil who is being pointed at is asked to answer, ‘A friend of course, oh Monarch’. The Monarch then has to attempt to guess the identity of the speaker. If they are able to guess correctly, then these two pupils swap places. If the guess is incorrect, the Monarch stays in the centre and a new game begins. It may be helpful to have a rule that the pupil can be the Monarch for up to three games. Initially, pupils may answer in their real voices, however, if the pupils are able to guess correctly for the majority of the time, then it may be more fun for them to try and disguise their voices when they respond to the Monarch.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger feelings of shock? 4 Did the activity help them to think of more helpful ways of responding to feelings of shock in the future? The Feeling Bored poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of boredom to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling bored is when you feel fed up, tired and weary of everyone and everything. You are too restless to get excited or enjoy anything at all. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling bored mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave?


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Lesson 8: Feeling Bored 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do other people show their feelings of boredom? 4 Do some feelings of boredom last longer than others? 4 Why are some people afraid of feeling this way? Are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling bored? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why was everyone so excited about the summer holidays? 2. What was it that made Jake so special? 3. Do you think that kicking the cupboard is a good way to deal with the feeling of anger? 4. Why did Jon think that Basil would definitely want to go to the Athletics Club? 5. How do you think that Basil could have helped himself to deal with his bored feeling? 6. What do you think will happen next? 7. How could Basil sort this situation out now? 8. If Jake had been in Basil’s position, would he have acted in the same way? If not, why not? 9. What advice would you give to Basil now? 10. How do you cope when you feel bored? What strategies do you use?

Act it out! The pupils can act the story until they get to the end. This is the point at which Basil has ‘blown it’ with his friend. The teacher can then prompt the pupils to try to make a better ending for Basil. They can work in pairs to construct the subsequent conversation between Basil and Jon. What will Basil say to sort this out? How can he explain his behaviour? How will he describe his feelings and how will Jon respond?

Activity Sheet – Feeling Bored In this activity the pupils are presented with a scenario involving a little boy called Barney. Barney is feeling bored as he can’t think of anything to do. His friends have all gone away on holiday and he is home alone and feeling lonely and unable to cope with both his loneliness and boredom. The pupils are asked to think of ways in which Barney might be able to relieve his boredom. This requires them to consider and reflect upon what they do themselves when they are bored. It may be helpful to also encourage the pupils to discuss ideas and share strategies. What is important here is to emphasise the importance of self-motivation, sometimes we won’t be able to have access to friends who can cheer us up or move us forward in some way. However, we can be resilient, positive and motivated in terms of identifying our own strengths and skills and using these to make the situation better.

Self-reflection activity – Boredom Questionnaire In this activity the pupils are asked to think about the last time that they felt really bored. They are required to try and remember everything that they can about the situation and then to answer a series of questions as follows:


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4 What was happening? 4 How did you feel? 4 What were you thinking? 4 What did you do? 4 What might have made things better for you? 4 If you were in the same situation again, what three things could you do to help yourself? 4 Who else could help you and how? 4 How would you know that you were coping better with your boredom? 4 What would be different? Once again, this is a solution-focused activity in that the pupils are being asked to think about life without the problem and to identify positive self-help strategies for themselves. It is important that they understand the need to remain motivated and also the fact that they can take control of certain situations in order to make things better for themselves and for others.

Take Home Task – Ban The Boredom In this activity the pupils are asked to work with a friend or significant adult in order to consider ways in which they might be able to alleviate boredom specifically in the home context. What can they do in order to prevent everyone feeling bored. They are asked to work together in order to design their own boredom box, identify what they put in it to ensure that everyone can “ban the boredom”. Can they agree on strategies under contents of the box, are there things that would be more suitable for children, adults or boys and girls? Ideas can be jointly recorded within the box using small drawings and labels.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling bored in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can write more positive ending to the story, thinking particularly about the conversation between Basil and Jon. They can identify ways in which Jon can help Basil to get out of his bad and bored mood. 4 Pupils can conduct a class survey in order to identify all the different things that make them feel bored. They can agree and formulate their categories. These may include the following: the news, spelling, maths lessons, washing up, tidying my room, etc. Work can then be presented in a picture chart or bar graph and the results fed back to the whole class. 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light Method to solve the following problem: Adil thinks that life is just dead boring since his best friend has gone away to a new school in a different town. He doesn’t want to do anything. He just feels bored all the time.


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Feeling

Jealous Feeling jealous is horrible because you want things which belong to other people.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Jealous Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Jealous Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Jealous Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . . Jealous Times Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . A Jealous Moment


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Lesson 9: Feeling Jealous Warm up Activity Hello and Welcome This activity can be done in the hall or playground area but it is possible to conduct it within the classroom context if enough space is made available. The teacher is required to select four observers. The rest of the pupils then walk around the space and when a tambourine is tapped, they stop and say ‘HELLO’ to the person nearest to them. When they greet each other they should be encouraged to try and look and sound as friendly as possible, even if the person they approach is not a particular friend. The teacher can encourage the pupils to use as many ways of saying hello as possible, noticing and praising the use of different languages and ways of welcoming people. The observers can then choose four or more pupils to demonstrate in front of the group as a whole and the observers can also articulate why they chose these particular pupils. The four who have then been picked for providing good examples of friendliness can then take on the role of observers as the role is repeated. The idea here is to reinforce the importance of being friendly and making sure that we know how we appear to others. Some pupils find this difficult and sharing of strategies in this way may help to promote their own skills. The teacher can draw attention to gesture, body language and facial expression, etc, and also highlight differences in the way different cultures may introduce or welcome each other.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger feelings of boredom? 4 Did the activity help them to think of more helpful ways of responding to feelings of boredom in the future? The Feeling Jealous poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of jealousy to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling jealous is horrible because you want things which belong to other people. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling jealous mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body?


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Lesson 9: Feeling Jealous 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do other people show their feelings of jealousy? 4 Do some feelings of jealousy last longer than others? 4 Why are some people afraid of feeling this way? Are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling jealous? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why do you think Janet hated being the eldest? 2. Was it true that Janet’s mum didn’t give her any attention? 3. Why was Janet jealous of Alicia? 4. Would you have felt like this if you were in Janet’s shoes? 5. Why did she try to ruin Alicia’s work and the dress? 6. What do you think will happen next? 7. What could Janet have done in order to stop feeling like this? 8. Have you every felt jealous of someone? When? Why? What did you do?

Act it out! The pupils can act out the story in until they get to the STOP hand. The teacher can then prompt them to make up a different ending so that Janet and Alicia become friends. They can consider what Janet might say to Alicia. How can she explain her feelings? How can she be honest? How can she trust Alicia and what can Alicia say and do in order to help Janet?

Activity Sheet – Feeling Jealous The pupils are presented with a series of pictures. These include a picture of Beyonce singing, David Beckham scoring a goal, a wealthy man driving a top of the range BMW and a picture of Michael Owen and his girlfriend on a beach etc. They are asked to think about why others might feel jealous of these people, would they be right to feel this way, if not, why not, if so, why. It would be helpful to encourage the pupils to discuss their ideas with a partner and they can then feed these back to the rest of the group. A further reflection activity requires the pupils to consider whether or not each of these people actually want us to feel jealous of them. They are also asked to consider how each person might feel about others feeling this way towards them. They are finally asked to consider what they might feel like if they were in the same position themselves.

Self-reflection activity – Jealous Times Everyone feels jealous at some point in their lives. Other people may also feel jealous of us because of who we are, what we look like and what we have, etc. The pupils are asked to think carefully about this and to record their thoughts on the chart provided, identifying the following: 4 Things about other people that make me feel jealous.


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4 Things about me that may make others feel jealous. What is important here is to emphasise the fact that we all experience this feeling. It’s nothing to feel ashamed of. The reason that we need to be able to be open and honest about such experiences is so that we can learn to cope more effectively with such uncomfortable feelings. If we don’t acknowledge them in the first place, then we won’t be able to move forward. This needs to be emphasised to the pupils in the group. The final part of this self-reflection activity requires the pupils to work with a partner in order to further consider three questions as follows: 4 When you feel jealous, how does it make you behave towards others? 4 What do you think you can do to cope better with this uncomfortable feeling? 4 Who else can help you and how? The pupils are finally asked to reflect with a partner, discussing the following questions: 4 When you feel jealous, how does it make you behave towards others? 4 What do you think you can do to cope better with this uncomfortable feeling? 4 Who else can help you and how? The idea here is to reinforce the fact that we can use certain strategies of positive thinking and change the way we perceive ourselves and others in order to move forward from these uncomfortable situations and emotions.

Take Home Task – Jealous Moment This activity requires pupils to develop problem-solving skills with a friend or a member of their family. They are asked to read a newspaper report which details a “war between neighbours”. This report describes how an argument between the two neighbours resulted in broken windows and a child being pushed through a glass door. These awful events have been a direct result of one neighbour becoming very angry and jealous when her neighbour’s daughter had been chosen to be the local carnival queen at the August Bank Holiday celebration. The pupils are asked to read through this article with their friend or family member and to identify ways in which the individual concerned could stop feeling so jealous and causing so many problems to her neighbours. They are asked to discuss their ideas and formulate a response recording this advice jointly in the advice sheet provided. The real focus here is not only to highlight the negative aspects of jealousy and the ways in which this feeling can engender irrational thoughts, feelings and behaviours but to also highlight the importance of working together to solve problems, developing joint problem-solving skills and understanding that we can all contribute to formulating appropriate solutions is vital and very important in terms of promoting and maintaining positive peer and family relationships.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling jealous in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been?


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Lesson 9: Feeling Jealous 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can write acrostic poems using the word ‘jealous’. 4 Pupils can make up collages of their favourite pop stars, sports people or film stars. They can then identify all the different qualities about these people that may induce others to feel jealous of them. 4 Pupils can use a traffic light method to solve the following problem: Hamid is jealous of Rajan because he has more money and can buy the best clothes. He always looks trendy and fashionable and it is making Hamid feel really angry because he can’t compete. 4 Pupils can listen to Fords Aria from Act 2 of Verdi’s Opera, Falstaff. This details Fords’ jealousy of his wife’s supposed relationship with Falstaff. The pupils can consider how this music illustrates his feelings and if it does it well and why? 4 Pupils can us the Problem-solving sheet found in the Appendix to solve the following problem: Hala is jealous of her friend Amy because Amy has found a new friend. This new friend now takes up all of Amy’s time and Hala feels very angry, left out and hurt. She wants to hurt the new girl and also to punish Amy in some way. How can you help her? What would you suggest?


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Feeling

Ashamed Feeling ashamed is an extremely uncomfortable feeling you experience when you have done something wrong or bad. You feel disgrace and guilt.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Ashamed Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Ashamed Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Ashamed Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . A Shameful Moment Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Ashamed


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Lesson 10: Feeling Ashamed Warm up Activity Chain Reaction This game requires the pupils to be alert and ready to respond to one another and is great fun when played at a really good pace. The pupils are asked to stand in a circle. The idea of this game is to end up with all the pupils sitting down. A pupil (A) is chosen to begin the game. They are asked to call out the name of another pupil (B) across the circle. Pupil A then sits down, Pupil B calls out the name of the third pupil (C) and Pupil B sits down. Pupil C calls out the name of a fourth pupil (D) and so on. If any pupil hesitates or doesn’t respond to being called, then all the pupils have to stand up and the game begins again with a different pupil starting it off. This game is enormous fun, particularly when it is run at a rapid pace. The idea here is to see how fast it can be completed and it may be useful for the facilitator to use a timer in order to establish a group record. The pupils can then attempt to break this record in future games.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger feelings of jealousy? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of more helpful ways of responding to feelings of jealousy in the future? The Feeling Ashamed poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of shame to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling ashamed is an extremely uncomfortable feeling you experience when you have done something wrong or bad. You feel disgrace and guilt. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling ashamed mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave?


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4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do other people show their feelings of shame? 4 Do some feelings of shame last longer than others? 4 Why are some people afraid of feeling this way? Are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling ashamed? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why did Sara think she might be ‘left out’? 2. Why had Maya and Alan teased Sara? What do you think of their behaviour? 3. Why did Sara steal her mum’s money? 4. What do you think she was feeling and thinking when she did this? 5. What do you think Claire might have said to Sara if she knew she’d stolen the money? 6. What would you want your friend to say and do if they knew you had stolen money from someone? 7. Why do you think Sara’s mum didn’t shout at her? 8. What do you think will happen next?

Act it out! The pupils can act out the story until they reach the STOP hand. They can then work out a more positive ending in which Sara can do the ‘right’ thing. The teacher can prompt the pupils to consider what she could say to her Mum and what her Mum could say to her to offer support. The pupils can try to work out a conversation between Sara and her mum in which they both get their views and feelings across and a compromise may then be reached.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Ashamed In this activity the pupils are presented with a series of pictures. They are asked to identify why each of the characters concerned might feel ashamed, what is it about their behaviour, attitude or thought process that may have engendered such a feeling. It will be helpful for the pupils to have some opportunity to discuss their ideas, why do they feel ashamed and when do they feel ashamed. It is usually because they may have done something that they know to be wrong or dishonest such as cheating or lying. The experience of feeling ashamed often occurs when others find out what we’ve done. What is important is to also allocate some time for the pupils to think about how it might be possible to move on from feeling this way i.e. to make amends or change an active pattern of behaviour etc.

Self-reflection Activity – A Shameful Moment The teacher can highlight the fact that we all feel ashamed at some point in our lives and that experiencing such an uncomfortable feeling can, in turn, be a useful trigger for us to change the way we feel, think or act. In this activity the pupils are asked to think about a time when they felt ashamed and to focus upon a series of questions as follows: 4 What did you do? 4 How did others react?


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Lesson 10: Feeling Ashamed 4 How did you feel? 4 How did you look? 4 Why did you behave like this? 4 Did you try to put things right? If so, how?

They are required to record their responses in the post it notes surrounding the ‘Ashamed self-portrait’ prior to engaging in a smaller group discussion focusing on the following questions: 4 Can feeling ashamed be helpful? 4 Can this experience be a ‘warning signal’ to change our behaviour? 4 How could you use it in this way? It may be helpful to allocate some time for the pupils to feedback their ideas and responses to the group as a whole.

Take Home Task – Feeling Ashamed In this activity the pupils are asked to work with a friend or family member in order to rank a series of statements. They are asked to identify which situation would cause them to feel the most or least ashamed and to begin with the most shameful and working down to the least shameful. They are required to cut out the statements and attempt to agree on their rankings. Situations include: you tell a lie to your best friend, you steal some money, you don’t clean up properly and blame someone else, you kick the dog, you take something from a shop without paying etc. This is a very useful method of visiting peoples viewpoints and also highlighting the fact that although this feeling may be to some extent person specific, there are situations which generally tend to make most people feel ashamed.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling ashamed in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can formulate a questionnaire entitled: ‘What’s made you feel ashamed?’ Copies can be circulated to everyone in the class and these can be completed anonymously. The pupils can circle either yes or no responses to a series of statements formulated by the pupils themselves. This should help to highlight the fact that we all do things that we are ashamed of. What is most important is that we can find ways of making up for things that we have done wrong. The questionnaire could include items such as taking something that belongs to someone else, teasing or name calling someone, telling lies, copying someone else’s work, dropping rubbish in the school grounds, putting someone down in front of friends, forgetting to meet someone, not helping at home as much as you should, etc.


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4 Pupils can make up their own stories entitled: ‘Ashamed’ and focus particularly on the kinds of behaviours that they know would make them feel most ashamed, e.g. trashing someone else’s work, stealing from someone who is a friend, lying to someone you love, etc. 4 Pupils can use a traffic light method to solve the following problem: You cheated in the maths test and copied your friend’s work because you were too frightened and stressed about getting everything wrong. You now feel really ashamed because you know that the result you got wasn’t really deserved. Your mum thinks that you’ve worked really hard but you haven’t. What can you do? How can you sort this out? 4 Pupils can write a ‘good’ ending to the story starting from the STOP hand. They can work in groups to produce this piece of writing with one pupil acting as a scribe for the group’s ideas. They can make use of the Good Group work format once they have completed the activity.


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Feeling Lonely Feeling lonely is when you feel left out, on your own and not included. It is not a comfortable feeling.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Lonely Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Lonely Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Lonely Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . . A Lonely Time Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . Combat Loneliness


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Lesson 11: Feeling Lonely Warm up Activity Racing Whispers In this game the pupils are organised into two groups. Each group is asked to stand in line with a clear space between each pupil. This is to ensure that only the pupils at the front of the line are able to hear the whispered message. The teacher is required to sit on a chair some distance from the two groups and to explain to them that they are going to whisper an action to the two pupils at the front of the line. These pupils then whisper this action to the second pupil in their line, who then whispers it on to the third and so on. Once the whisper has reached the last pupil in the line, they run up to the front and perform the action to the teacher. The teacher can award points for how accurate this action is and then a new command can be whispered to this pupil who then goes to the front of the line and the process is then repeated. The idea here is to reinforce the importance of communicating slowly and clearly and to also listen carefully when receiving a message.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger feelings of shame? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of more helpful ways of responding to feelings of shame in the future? The Feeling Lonely poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of loneliness to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Lonely is when you feel left out, on your own and not included. It is usually not a comfortable feeling. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the children’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling lonely mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave?


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Lesson 11: Feeling Lonely 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do other people show their feelings of loneliness? 4 Do some feelings of loneliness last longer than others? 4 Why are some people afraid of feeling this way? Are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling lonely? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why do you think that Jon was looking forward to starting his new school? 2. Why didn’t he feel quite the same way on this particular morning? 3. What do you think he was actually feeling and thinking as he got ready? 4. Do you think that everyone else at the school gates really felt happy and okay? 5. Why did Jon feel his stomach turn over? 6. What difference do you think that Michael will have made to Jon? 7. Have you ever felt lonely like this? When? Why? What happened? How did you cope with this feeling? 8. How would you help someone new to your school so that they did not have to feel lonely?

Act it out! The story has a positive outcome and consequently there is no STOP hand to indicate an alternative ending. The pupils can act out the story and try to show the change in Jon - how lonely and worried he felt and how much better he felt once he’d met Michael. The teacher can prompt them to think about how people move around if they are feeling lonely or excluded and encourage them to show the difference between how Jon looks and sounds when he arrives and how he looks and sounds once he has met up with Michael.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Lonely In this activity the pupils are asked to read through Lorna’s problem. She has written to an Agony Aunt in her favourite magazine detailing why she is feeling so lonely and unhappy. This is due to the fact that she has just moved to a new area because her mum and dad have split up and her mum has now moved in with her new boyfriend. She has had to move to a new school and she feels really miserable, she doesn’t have any friends in this new context. The pupils are asked to write back to Lorna taking on the role of the Agony Aunt in order to help her with this particular problem, what advice would they give to her, how would they suggest that she copes better with this quite difficult situation.

Self-reflection Activity It is a fact that everyone can feel lonely sometimes. The pupils are asked to stop, think and reflect upon this, describing a time when they felt lonely and isolated. They are then asked to complete a series of future focus statements so that they can respond more positively if they feel this way again in the future. This second part of the activity is solution-focused in that it requires the pupils to identify three things they can do now in order to help themselves and also three ways that they may be able to cope better with lonely times in the future. Once again the focus is on being prepared for future events by


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further understanding our feelings and behaviours and the ways in which we can cope most effectively. It may be helpful to allocate some time for the pupils to feedback their ideas to each other so as to identify similarities and differences and perhaps highlight what appear to be the most common or useful coping strategies.

Take Home Task – Combat Loneliness In this activity the pupils are asked to work with a friend or family member in order to consider the ways in which they might be able to help people who feel lonely. They are asked to consider a series of different situations. These are illustrated on the activity sheet and include the following: a picture of a boy watching a football match standing on his own at the side of the pitch i.e. feeling left out, a picture of a lonely child in the playground feeling isolated with no one to play with, a picture of a teacher outside a room looking lonely and stressed after a bad lesson, a picture of a Muslim women sitting at a school meeting on her own unable to speak English or communicate with the other mothers. They are asked to discuss their thoughts and feelings and to identify ways in which they themselves might be able to help each individual, recording these on the chart provided.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling lonely in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can imagine that they are starting a new school and write stories entitled: ‘The First Day’. They can show how they felt lonely at the start of the day and how, by the end of the day, they’d managed to feel more like one of the crowd and been able to make new friends. 4 Pupils can use the traffic light method to solve the following problem: Your little brother says that he’s feeling lonely at school. He thinks that no-one wants to play with him. What would you suggest? What plan can you come up with which might help him to deal more effectively with this problem? 4 Pupils can write ‘Loneliness is …’ poems and discuss their ideas in pairs in order to prompt thinking and sharing of thoughts and feelings. Each sentence of the poem can start with ‘Loneliness is…’ and it may be useful to consider a few examples such as loneliness is a sad feeling, loneliness is when others don’t want to play with you, loneliness is wishing that someone was there to watch your favourite cartoon and share a pizza, etc. 4 Pupils can design ‘wanted’ posters entitled: ‘Wanted – a Friend’. They can describe the sort of friend that they would want, identifying all the qualities of this person, e.g. able to laugh with me, able to share a joke, willing to play games I want to play, able to listen, able to recognise if I’m feeling lonely and need more help, etc.


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Lesson 11: Feeling Lonely 4 Pupils can conduct a whole school survey simply identifying how many people in the school have ever felt lonely and the places in which they have experienced this feeling. They can then formulate a series of suggestions as to how to combat such loneliness, particularly in the area of the playground. They may wish to consider setting up ‘playground buddy’ systems and mentoring of the younger pupils by the older ones in the school. 4 Pupils can consider that sometimes people might be lonely because they have upset their friends and been engaged in some kind of conflict with them. They can read through the conflict-solving acrostic and consider how this might be useful to them. They can also make up their own versions.


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Feeling Greedy Feeling greedy is usually when you want too much of something or you might eat or drink more than you really need.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Greedy Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Greedy Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Greedy Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . 3 Greedy Moments Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A Greedy Day


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Lesson 12: Feeling Greedy Warm up Activity Changes In this activity the pupils sit as for circle time and one pupil is chosen to leave the room. When they are gone, two people in the room can swap places and when the volunteer returns to the room, he/she has to guess what has changed. This can be varied in many different ways. For example, pupils may swap jumpers or other articles of clothing or some pupils may take off jackets, jumpers, shoes, etc. The idea here is to not only have fun but to also focus on the importance of really looking and observing people in order to see how they are acting and feeling. Again, it can obviously be repeated with different volunteers leaving the room.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger feelings of loneliness? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of more helpful ways of responding to feelings of loneliness in the future? The Feeling Greedy poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of greed to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Greedy is usually if you want too much of something and you eat or drink more than you really need. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the children. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling greedy mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do other people show their feelings of greed?


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4 Do some feelings of loneliness last longer than others? 4 Why are some people afraid of feeling this way? Are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were being greedy? How could you be sure that they were feeling or behaving in this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why didn’t the children open their presents when they first got up? 2. Do you think that they were quite tired? Why? 3. Why couldn’t they make a ‘real’ breakfast? 4. How do you think Sara knew that she’d had enough to eat? 5. Was Alex right? Can boys eat more than girls? 6. How did Alex feel when he was opening his presents? 7. When have you felt or been greedy? 8. Is it ever ‘right’ to be greedy?

Act it out! The pupils can act the story until they get to the STOP hand. The teacher can prompt them to try to make a better ending to the ‘greedy’ story. How could Alex have helped himself stop eating? How could Sara have helped him and what could she have said/ How could she have been supportive without being judgmental?

Activity Sheet – Feeling Greedy In this activity the pupils are asked to consider the many different ways that they can experience the feeling of greed. They can be greedy with food but also greedy with friends and with things such as toys, money and time. They are asked to discuss their ideas with a partner or in a smaller group so as to complete the activity sheet. This requires them to record as many different ways of feeling greedy as they possibly can on this thought storming sheet.

Self-reflection Activity – Three Greedy Moments In this activity the pupils are asked to identify three times when they felt or behaved in a greedy way. They are required to record their ideas around a greedy portrait. It may be that they have been greedy about a particular friend, about spending time with someone special or that they have been greedy with food, toys or presents, etc. The second part of the activity asks them to discuss two questions with a partner as follows: 4 How are your greedy moments similar or different? 4 Can you agree on what would be a better way to behave in similar situations in the future? The idea here is once again to be solution-focused, identifying possible changes and strategies that may help to achieve a better outcome. There is also again a focus upon joint problem-solving and pooling of ideas.

Take Home Task– A Greedy Day In this activity the pupils are asked to identify what would be their ideal “greedy day” when they could eat and do everything they most enjoyed to absolute excess. They are asked work with a friend or family


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member in order to jointly plan out what this greedy day would consist of. This involves attempting to agree on what they would eat and what they would do. They are finally asked to consider how they would feel at the end of this day, would they feel positive, happy and elated, or would they feel as if they’d had too much of a good thing. It might be helpful to prompt the children to record their ideas on the reverse of the sheet once they have completed the timetable. This is particularly important as it provides an opportunity to consider the nature of greed and consideration of the usefulness or otherwise of having everything we want at a certain point in time. Does this really benefit us. Is it that important or is it important to have less of what we like in order to truly appreciate it. This may or may not be the case but it is important for the children to have the opportunities to discuss these issues.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling greedy in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can make up their own stories about a greedy person or animal. They can show how being greedy might result in a very uncomfortable situation for the individual concerned. It may also mean that friends and family become angry, resentful and ultimately reject you.


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4 Pupils can use the traffic light method in order to solve a greedy problem as follows :You’d like to share your sweets with your friend but she never shares hers with you, so you eat them all in secret when she’s not there. You know that this is greedy but you feel resentful. Try to come up with a solution to this problem. 4 Pupils can design two posters, one to illustrate a greedy character and one to illustrate a generous character. They can make use of a cartoon style and invent their own greedy cartoon character should they choose. They can then attempt to list all the various characteristics of each individual. For example, one has lots of friends and one has very few friends, etc. 4 Pupils can listen to Scene 3 of the Rheingold by Wagner. In this scene, Aberich wants more gold from his Nibelungs. The story at this point can be briefly explained to the pupils and they can then listen and describe how this music makes them feel. What emotions does it engender? What do they visualise? What do they feel might happen next?


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Feeling Nervous Feeling nervous is when you feel fear and excitement together. You may be afraid and jumpy. It is not a very comfortable feeling but it can be useful!

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Nervous Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Nervous Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Nervous Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . Analyse Your Nerves Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nerve Busters


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Lesson 13: Feeling Nervous Warm up Activity Hesitation In this game the pupils sit as for circle time and the teacher chooses a category such as pop stars, sport stars, items of clothing or sandwich fillings, etc. One pupil is chosen to begin the game. They name an item that fits within the chosen category and all the pupils in the circle then clap twice in unison. Next, the pupil on the left of the first pupil names another item in this category. The pupils then clap again and the activity proceeds around the circle. An item is not allowed to be named twice and if a pupil hesitates after the clapping, all the pupils clap four more times and shout ‘HESITATION’. This pupil has to begin a new category and the game continues. It may be useful to thought-storm possible categories before beginning the game in order to provide the pupils with some ideas if they are required to choose items. This will be particularly important for pupils who have difficulty in the area of speech and language.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger feelings of greed? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of more helpful ways of responding to feelings of greed or greedy behaviours in the future? The Feeling Nervous poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of nervousness to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling nervous is when you feel fear and excitement together. You may be afraid and jumpy. It’s not a very comfortable feeling but it can be useful. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the children. This reinforces the value and importance of the children’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling nervous mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave?


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Lesson 13: Feeling Nervous 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do other people show their feelings of nervousness? 4 Do some feelings of nervousness last longer than others? 4 Why are some people afraid of feeling this way? Are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling nervous? How could you be sure that they were feeling or behaving in this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why did everyone like Mr Williams? 2. Why was Daniel picked to play the part of Oliver? 3. Why had his mum made him feel so nervous? 4. What do you think Dan could have done to help himself? 5. What do you think Mr Williams might have done if Daniel had been able to tell him how nervous he felt? 6. Do you think Caris was right when she said “It’ll be fine when we start”? 7. Did Dan believe her? 8. How did Dan’s nerves affect him physically? Give examples.

Act it out! The pupils can act the story until they get to the STOP hand. They can then work out a better ending for Dan. The teacher can prompt them to consider how he might overcome this nervous feeling with the help of his teacher and friends. What could they say and do in order to support him? How could he think and behave differently to get a better outcome for himself?

Activity Sheet – Feeling Nervous In this activity the pupils are asked to consider the different ways in which they might be able to cope more effectively with feeling nervous. They are asked to read through the suggestions recorded in the though bubbles and to highlight those that they have used in the past or might consider using in the future. These include taking deep breaths very slowly, thinking of something funny to distract themselves, using the traffic lights, using self-talk to calm down, using the relaxation script etc. The children are asked to share their ideas with each other and to also identify three of their own strategies that may not be recorded on the sheet. What is important here is to highlight the fact that like stress feelings of nervousness can often be person specific i.e. what makes me feel very nervous may only cause you a slight twinge. What is also important is to recognise that all our feelings are valid and to be respected and that finding ways of coping most effectively with uncomfortable feelings is extremely important.

Self-reflection activity – Analyse your Nerves! In this activity the pupils are asked to consider what makes them feel nervous and stressed. They are presented with a series of situation cards which they are required to cut out and then place in rank order as to how much these situations would make them feel nervous and stressed.


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The idea here is to place the most stressful and nerve-making situations first and the least nervemaking and stressful situations last. The situations include the following: 4 Moving to a new home. 4 Starting a new maths topic. 4 Someone new coming into your class. 4 Your mum or dad or carer leaving home. 4 You have a supply teacher because your teacher is sick. 4 Singing in front of an audience. 4 Going to a new school. 4 A new baby coming into your home. 4 Your friend moving a long way away. 4 You have a test. The second part of the activity requires the to work with a partner and reflect further on a series of questions. They are asked to compare their responses, identifying whether or not they agree or disagree on their rankings. They are asked to identify whether or not there are any ‘right’ answers here. Clearly, there are not ‘right’ answers, but there may well be answers in common. What is important is to emphasise the fact that, like stress, feeling nervous is very often person specific. The pupils are finally asked to identify how they can help each other and themselves as individuals to cope better with the three things that make them feel most nervous. Once again, this is a solution-focused activity which encourages joint problem-solving and sharing of ideas.

Take Home Task – Nerve Busters In this activity the pupils are asked to identify the things that make them feel nervous. They are also asked to consider how they might cope more effectively with these feelings in the future. The idea here is prompt discussion with a friend or family member and to identify any areas of agreement or disagreement as to what the most useful strategies might be. The chart requires children to record the things that make them feel nervous and a nerve busting strategy that they might use in order to alleviate this feeling in this particular situation. What is important here is for the pupils to become aware of the stresses that others around them may be experiencing and also for adults in particular to become aware of the things that cause the pupils to feel nervous and stressed. It may well be the case that the strategies that are most useful are common to both individuals, however this may not be the case and it is important that both individuals thoughts, feelings and ideas are validated and respected. The idea here is to promote empathy and a shared understanding of the most effective ways of coping with these kind of uncomfortable feelings and situations.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling nervous in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us?


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Lesson 13: Feeling Nervous 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can conduct a class survey entitled: ‘What makes us feel nervous’. They can formulate a list to form the basis of the questionnaire, identifying a range of different situations, people or events. For example, the dentist, fast cars, spelling tests, maths lessons, etc. 4 Pupils can make use of a relaxation script in order to calm themselves down and learn how useful this strategy might be in a range of different contexts. 4 Pupils can make use of the traffic light method in order to solve the following problem: Janice is nervous about speaking out in front of other people. Everyone in her class has to give a five minute talk to the rest of the class about their favourite hobby. She feels as if she just cannot do it. How could you help her? What would your best plan be? 4 Pupils can work in groups of two or three in order to identify two things that make them all feel very nervous. They can then make use of the Problem-Solving format found in the Appendix in order to formulate a shared solution to each of these problems. 4 Pupils can write a ‘good ending’ to the story. Describe how Daniel overcomes his nerves. He might even be spotted by a Talent Scout and become a famous star!


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Feeling Disappointed Feeling disappointed is when you feel let down. You might feel as though somebody has neglected you in some way. It is not a comfortable feeling!

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Disappointed Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Disappointed Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Disappointed Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . Disappointments Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . Disappointing Times


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Lesson 14: Feeling Disappointed Warm up Activity We Belong This game requires adequate space as the pupils are asked to walk around together. The teacher is required to make enough small cards for each pupil to have one – the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 are written on the cards in approximately equal numbers, leaving the last two or three cards blank. For example, if there are 28 pupils in the group then the facilitator would make five matching sets of five, i.e. five 1’s, five 2’s up to five 5’s, leaving three cards blank. On each of these blank cards the facilitator can write a number that is not being used – a different one on each card. For example, 7, 8 and 9. The pupils then play the game. They are each provided with a card with a number on it. The task for them is to walk around the room looking for other people who have the same numbers themselves. They are not allowed to talk but simply able to show their number to others in the group. Once they have found someone with the same number, they are required to show by their body language that they are really pleased to see them and then required to walk round in close proximity to this other person, i.e. becoming an obvious group. The pupils are asked to continue in this activity until they think they’ve found all the members of their group and then to sit down in silence. In this game there will clearly be some pupils left out of a group at the end. The idea here is to then reinforce with the pupils the importance of including one another and to highlight how it feels to be rejected by the group as opposed to feeling accepted. We need to recognize the human need to belong and the ways in which we can help each other fulfil this need.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger feelings of nervousness? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of more helpful ways of responding to these triggers in the future? The Feeling Disappointed poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of disappointment to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Disappointed is when you feel let down. You may feel as if someone has failed or neglected you in some way. It’s not a comfortable feeling. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the children. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session.


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The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling disappointed mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do other people show their feelings of disappointment? 4 Do some feelings of disappointment last longer than others? 4 Why are some people afraid of feeling this way? Are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling disappointed? How could you be sure that they were feeling or behaving in this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question time 1. Why was Amy so bored during the holidays? 2. Why didn’t she want to play with the boys? 3. How did she feel when she received the letter from her Aunt? 4. What was so special about Aunty Jermaine? 5. How do you know that Amy felt disappointed when the letter didn’t arrive? What clues are there in the story? 6. What feelings did Amy experience on Sunday morning as she spoke to her Mum? How many can you think of? 7. Why do you think Amy was laughing and crying at the same time? 8. How might things have been different if her Aunt hadn’t come over to England? 9. What advice would you give to Amy if this had been the situation? 10. Have you ever felt disappointed? If so, what strategies did you use to help yourself?

Act it out The pupils can act out the story in groups of three. The teacher can prompt them to think about facial expression and tone of voice for Amy as she becomes increasingly upset and disappointed. The story has a happy ending so they do not need to formulate one themselves. What is important here is to increase awareness of how we can switch our feeling state so quickly and also how we can ‘self- talk’ ourselves into feeling really negative i.e. making a situation even worse than it is. What could Amy have said to herself in order to keep positive and not give in to this initial disappointment?

Activity Sheet – Feeling Disappointed There are many reasons why we can feel disappointed and the pupils are asked to consider a wide range of situations that might lead to this feeling. The statements on the activity sheet range from those which may cause a slight disappointment such as a friend not sharing her sweets with you to


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those causing significant disappointment such as your father leaving home or your grandmother being seriously ill. The children are asked to cut out each statement and work with a partner in order to place these in order of disappointment. They are asked to put the situation that would make them feel most disappointed first and the situation that would make them feel least disappointed last. Sufficient time needs to be allocated to this so that students can discuss their ideas and see if they can come to some agreement as to their ranking.

Self-reflection activity –Disappointments In this activity the pupils are asked to try and identify four disappointments that they have experienced or caused others to experience. They are asked to complete a series of mini questionnaires entitled: 4 I was disappointed when… 4 I disappointed a friend when… 4 I disappointed someone in my family when… 4 I disappointed a teacher when… The final part of the activity requires them to talk through their responses with a partner. If they felt disappointed for similar reasons in the future, what three things would they then consider doing in order to help themselves achieve a better outcome? The idea here is to encourage a focus on solutions and also joint problem-solving and sharing of ideas.

Take Home Task – Disappointing Times All individuals feel sad and disappointed at some point in their lives and it is important to identify the causes of such feelings. The pupils are asked to thought storm with a friend or family member in order to try and find 4 things that have caused them both to feel disappointed. For example, a friend letting them down or lying, not winning the lottery etc. They are then asked to think about how they might deal better with such a disappointment if it should occur again in the future. The important thing here is to encourage discussion and to highlight the fact that we can all share similar disappointments, how we respond to these is the most important thing i.e. identifying positive strategies and motivating ourselves to overcome such difficulties.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling disappointed in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can write the next chapter in the story. Where do they go? What do they do? They may wish to entitle it ‘Amy’s Holiday Adventure’ and make use of the following words: excited, thrilled, happy, loved, keen generous, content and spoilt. 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light Method to solve the following problem :Sid worked hard to learn


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his spellings but he only got 4/10 this week. His teacher made him learn them all again in break time but he felt like giving up. He was so disappointed because the words still wouldn’t stick in his head. How can he sort this problem out? Work together to come up with the best solution for him. 4 Pupils can write poems or stories entitled ‘A Disappointing Day’. 4 Pupils can think about how they might tell a friend that they were disappointed in them for some reason without this leading to a conflict. They can identify a specific situation and then work out their own personal script, making use of positive ‘I’ statements in order to do this.


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Feeling Rejected Feeling rejected is when you feel unloved, unwanted, pushed aside or excluded. It is a sad and uncomfortable feeling.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Rejected Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Rejected Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Rejected Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . Rejections Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . Who is Rejected?


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Lesson 15: Feeling Rejected Warm up Activity Letterbox This is a fast moving game in which the pupils are required to listen carefully and be alert and ready for action. An object is placed by the facilitator in the centre of the circle. The letters of the alphabet are printed on cards. It will be necessary to use all the letters in order to cover the initials of the first name of every pupil in the class. These are placed in a container. The pupils sit in the circle and the teacher says: ‘Anyone with the name ……? A letter is called out, i.e. one which is taken out of the container by the facilitator. All the pupils who then fit into that category stand up and run around their circle in a clockwise direction. When they arrive back at their seats they enter into the circle and attempt to pick up the object in the middle. The pupil who is able to pick up the object pulls out the next letter from the container and calls it out. The teacher will need to make sure that the letters are kept out of the container after each turn. The pupils who then call out the letters can also decide how the others will move around the outside of the circle, e.g. they can hop, crawl, skip, jump, etc.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger feelings of disappointment? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of more helpful ways of responding to these triggers in the future? The Feeling Rejected poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of rejection to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Rejected is when you feel unloved, unwanted, pushed aside or excluded. It is a sad and uncomfortable feeling. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling rejected mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave?


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Lesson 15: Feeling Rejected 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do other people show their feelings of rejection? 4 Do some feelings of rejection last longer than others? 4 Why are some people afraid of feeling this way? Are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling rejected? How could you be sure that they were feeling or behaving in this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. What sort of feeling did Sally have when she heard that Jan was invited to Amy’s party? 2. Why do you think she lied to Jan and said she felt fine? 3. Why was Sally so determined to show that she wasn’t upset? 4. Do you think she should have asked Amy about the party? 5. Do Sally’s friends really care about her? If so, can you say how you know this? 6. How do you think Sally felt when she saw the invitation? 7. Is it too late or can she sort out this problem? How? 8. What would you say to her now if you were her friend?

Act it out! The pupils can act the story in pairs until they get to the STOP hand. Characters name can be changed to match the gender of the pairs if this makes the pupils feel more comfortable. The teacher can prompt them to try to show how rejected Sally felt. It will be important that this shows in her face and in the way she stands. The pupils can try to work out a way for her to SAY how she feels to her friend rather than hiding her true feelings and becoming more distressed. What will Amy say? How will she sort this out/ Is there, in fact, a simple explanation and an easy solution? Then make up a better ending for her and the gang.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Rejected In this activity the pupils are asked to complete an acoustic poem entitled Rejected. It may be useful to encourage some initial discussion around why people experience this feeling for example, they may be rejected by others due to racial or identity issues, appearance etc. or they may be or feel rejected by the parent or significant other. What is important is to encourage the children to think of as many different situations as possible and to also thought storm all the different words and phrases that may be relevant to this particular emotion. It may also be helpful to encourage the pupils to think of a particular time or situation when they experience this feeling. This can then form the basis on which the poem can be constructed.

Self-reflection activity – Rejections In this activity the pupils are asked to complete a questionnaire on the topic of rejection. There are two aspects of the questionnaire. They are asked to identify a time when they felt rejected and also to identify a time when they caused someone else to feel rejected. In each case they have to answer a series of questions as follows:


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4 What was the situation? 4 What did I think? 4 What did I feel? 4 What did I do? 4 Could I help myself? 4 Could anyone else help me? 4 What would I do differently if I were in the same situation in the future? The idea here is to focus on modifying behaviours and identifying what would work better and why. It may be useful to allocate some time for pupils to subsequently share their ideas with the whole group.

Take Home Task– Who is Rejected? In this activity the pupils are asked to consider why people feel rejected by others, is it because of the colour of their skin, their religion, their politics or their background. They are asked to discuss their ideas with a friend or family member and record them on the thoughts storming chart provided. These ideas can be illustrated if it seems to be appropriate. What is important here is to encourage the pupils to discuss these important issues with significant others, do they share the same belief systems, do they agree on what constitutes rejection, racism etc. This is particularly important and it is an opportunity for the children to highlight the fact that they have their own views, ideas, thoughts and feelings. These need to be respected and valued by others and vice versa.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling rejected in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light Method in order to solve the following problem: Hala feels rejected by the other girls in her class. They don’t want to play with her because she is a Muslim and doesn’t wear the same kind of clothes as they do. They think that because she’s covered, she won’t be able to run around in the playground or skip. How can you help her? What can you suggest? Work together in order to produce a best plan for Hala. 4 Pupils can make use of the problem-solving sheet or problem page in the Appendix in order to consider the following problem: Alex is feeling very rejected by his parents because his mother has just had a new baby brother. Now nobody gives him any attention whatsoever. He feels totally left out. Pupils can use the problem-page format or problem-solving format in the Appendix in order to work out a way forward for him. They can complete this activity in pairs or smaller groups.


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Lesson 15: Feeling Rejected 4 Pupils can compose acrostic poems using the word ‘rejection’. 4 Pupils can re-write the story creating a more positive ending, showing how Sally can overcome her feelings of rejection. They can focus on what the characters would really say to each other in this particular situation. 4 Pupils can listen to Don Jose’s aria, entitled ‘The Flower Song’ from Act 2 of Bizet’s opera, Carmen. In this aria, Don Jose is feeling rejected by Carmen. The pupils can consider how well this music depicts this sense of rejection. What does it make them think of? What does it make them visualise and how does it make them feel?


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Feeling Shy Feeling shy is when you are afraid of new people and situations. It can be quite an uncomfortable feeling.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Shy Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Shy Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Shy Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . I Feel Shy When… Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . A Moment of Shyness


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Lesson 16: Feeling Shy Warm up activity Leaders One pupil is asked to leave the room whilst the others agree who will be the leader. The idea here is that the leader will begin a movement whilst all the others in the group are required to follow and copy this movement. The leader then changes to a different movement and at this point, everyone else in the group also has to change. When the person who has left the room comes back inside, they are required to spot the leader. Once the leader has been spotted, he/she is then required to leave the room and the game can be repeated.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Could they identify and agree upon the reasons why some people are rejected by others? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger feelings of rejection? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of more helpful ways of responding to these triggers in the future? The Feeling Shy poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of shyness to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Shy is when you are afraid of new people and situations. It’s quite an uncomfortable feeling. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling shy mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 Is it really a selfish way to behave?


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4 How do other people show their feelings of shyness? 4 Do some feelings of shyness last longer than others? 4 Why are some people afraid of feeling this way? Are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling shy? How could you be sure that they were feeling or behaving in this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why was Barney so nervous about starting his new school? 2. What could he have done to help himself? 3. Who else could have helped him? 4. What do you think he should have said to Caris? 5. What do you think Barney felt like at the end of play? 6. What do you think will happen next? 7. Have you ever felt shy? When? Why? What happened? 8. What strategies do we have to deal with these feelings? Can we share them?

Act it out! The pupils can act the story in small groups until they get to the STOP hand. The teacher can prompt them to try to work out a better ending for Barney. How can he cope better with his feelings of shyness? What can he think, say and do and how can the other pupils help him? What could they say and do differently?

Activity Sheet – Feeling Shy In this activity the pupils are asked to look at a range of illustrations which depict situations that may cause people to feel shy. They are asked to consider what they could do to help themselves and how others might be able to help them if they were in these situations. The ideas can be recorded on the activity sheet and then shared with other members of the group. The situations include a picture of a man walking into a room full of strangers at a party, a picture of a girl meeting her new class for the first time, a teacher walking into his new classroom to take his first lesson, a woman in the queue at the newsagents with people pushing in front of her and a boy turning away from a group who are playing cricket on the pitch etc.

Self-reflection Activity – I feel shy when… In this activity the pupils are asked to complete a thought-storming chart, identifying all the different times that they have felt shy and the reasons for them feeling this way. The final part of the activity asks them to work with a partner and then feedback to the whole group. They are required to focus on a series of questions: 4 What things made you both feel shy? 4 What are the differences? 4 What strategies would you use in order to cope better with the things that made you feel (a) most shy (b) in the middle shy (c) least shy? The idea here is to focus on useful and helpful strategies, i.e. things that would make a difference to them in the future. It is also important to emphasise the point that we all experience these feelings at


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some point in our lives and our responses may be different. It doesn’t mean that one response is better or more ‘right’ than another. What is important is that we find out the strategy that works best for us in order that we can cope more effectively with such feelings in the future.

Take Home Task – A Moment of Shyness In this activity the pupils are asked to consider different situations that can cause them to feel shy and to identify the reasons for this. They are asked to specifically highlight causes and how they thought and felt in these particular situations and what they did i.e. how they behaved. They are also asked to discuss with a partner, a friend or a family member what they might do differently in the same situation next time. The idea here is to be solution focused i.e. identifying a better or preferred future for themselves. They are finally asked to reflect further with their friend or family member in terms of identifying similarities or differences in the situations they both encountered. How were their feelings and behaviour the same or different, and what strategies could they both use to help them cope more effectively with feelings of shyness in the future.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling shy in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can reflect upon their own first day at school or at a new school. They can try to remember how they felt. Whether they felt nervous, shy or excited. How did they cope with these feelings? What did they do and who helped them? They can write a letter to a good friend and describe their first day at school. 4 Alternatively, if they are unable to remember this time, then they can try to imagine that they are Barney and write a letter from him to a friend back in Scotland describing the events of the day and his feelings, thoughts and behaviours. 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light Method in order to solve the following problem: Keira feels shy because her mum has a new boyfriend. She’s not sure about him. He seems nice but she feels very shy when she’s in the same room as him. She doesn’t quite know why. How can she sort this out? Who can she go to for help? What would be the best way forward for her? 4 Pupils can work in small groups in order to identify five ways to stop being shy. They can use the Good Group work format in the Appendix to evaluate how well they have worked together as a group. 4 They can then produce posters to illustrate their agreed strategies.


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Feeling

Arrogant Feeling arrogant is when you think too much of yourself. You think you are the ‘best’ and feel arrogant. You look down on others.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Arrogant Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Arrogant Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Arrogant Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . Feeling Arrogant Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . Who is Arrogant?


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Lesson 17: Feeling Arrogant Warm up Activity Bouncing Ball In this activity the pupils need to be very observant and to listen in order to be ready to move when their number is called. The facilitator will need to gather together a ball and sticky labels with numbers on, in particular for the younger children who may forget their number. Adequate space also needs to be made available in order to play this game. The pupils are numbered randomly around the circle by the teacher. If they are at risk of forgetting their numbers then they can be given sticky labels to wear on their sleeves. A number is called out and the ball is bounced in the centre of the circle. The pupil with that number runs into the centre and attempts to catch the ball before it bounces a second time. The pupil bounces or throws the ball back to the facilitator and the game continues. For pupils who are particularly competent with their ball skills, they can bounce the ball and call out the numbers themselves.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger feelings of shyness? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of more helpful ways of responding to these triggers in the future? The Feeling Arrogant poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of arrogance to the children. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Arrogant is when you think too much of yourself. You are the “best” and feel arrogant and look down on others. The children can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the children to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the children. This reinforces the value and importance of the children’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling arrogant mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling?


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4 Is it useful? 4 How do other people show their feelings of arrogance? 4 Do some feelings of arrogance last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling and behaving in an arrogant way? How could you be sure that they were feeling or behaving in this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Do you think Anna felt nervous about the ice skating competition? What clues does the story give you? 2. How did she know that she was going to win? 3. Why was Sara nervous? 4. Why do you think that Sara skated well? What did she do to help herself? 5. What did Anna mean when she said “It’s nothing to do with luck”? 6. What do you think Caris meant when she said “Pride comes before a fall”? 7. What do you think Anna will do next? Do you think that she might have learnt a lesson? 8. Have you ever felt ‘too’ proud?

Act it out! The pupils can act out the story until they reach the Stop hand. The teacher can encourage them to work out a better ending for Anna and Sara by offering the following prompts: Try to show how different characters felt - how nervous Sara was and how arrogantly Anna felt and acted. Show the relief on Sara’s face and in her voice when she completes her routine well. Think about how upset Anna will feel at the end of her routine. What will happen next? How can Anna cope better with her uncomfortable feelings? How can she ‘make up’ for her behaviour?

Activity Sheet – Feeling Arrogant In this activity the pupils are asked to consider when and why people may feel arrogant and act in an arrogant manner towards others. Very often people who are experiencing this particular feeling often feel insecure inside. They may behave in an arrogant way in order to hide their true feelings. Sometimes they may also attempt to put others down in order to make them feel small i.e. attempt to transfer their own feelings of inadequacy onto someone else. It may be useful to discuss the nature of arrogance prior to beginning this activity so that the children have the opportunity to express their own views, identifying arrogant behaviour in others and times when they themselves may have experiences particular feelings and act in this way. The pupils are asked to identify ways that people can be arrogant and to record these on the thought storming chart provided.

Self-reflection Activity – Feeling Arrogant In this activity the pupils are asked to draw a picture of themselves when they are feeling or behaving in an arrogant way. They are then asked to complete a series of sentence starters as follows: 4 I look …


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Lesson 17: Feeling Arrogant 4 I think … 4 I feel … 4 I say … 4 I do … 4 I wish … 4 I should … 4 I could … 4 I might …

They are finally asked to engage in a reflection activity focusing on the following questions with a partner: 4 How do you make others feel when you are being arrogant? 4 Do you think these behaviours get you the best possible outcome? The idea here is to emphasise the need and importance of empathising with others, i.e. putting ourselves into others’ shoes. How would we make them feel if we were behaving in this way? Would this be right? Would it be appropriate? Would it be useful? Would it get us the best possible outcome? It would be helpful to allocate some time for feedback so that the pupils can compare and contrast their responses and also identify the behaviours that might get them a better outcome in the future.

Take Home Task – Who is Arrogant In this activity the pupils are asked to look at a series of pictures and discuss with a friend or family member identifying who is being arrogant and why. They are also asked to consider why they might perceive these behaviours as being “wrong”, how could these people change their behaviours, what would make a difference? They are asked to discuss their ideas with a friend or family member and then record them on the reverse of the sheet provided. The pictures include the following: a man with a good suit looking down at a street beggar, a child looking down at another who cannot do the work in the class, a teacher looking down at another who is unable to keep control of an unruly class, a rich woman looking down at a woman struggling with two bags as she walks along the street.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling arrogant in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can make up their own story entitled: ‘Pride Comes Before a Fall’. At the start of the story they can introduce their main character and then carefully describe their arrogant manners and


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behaviour. What happens? How does he or she fall? Does he or she learn any real lesson from this? 4 Pupils can make use of the Traffic Light Method in order to solve the following problem :Your best friend has just got picked for the country football team. He’s now unbearable because he keeps showing off and he thinks that he’s the best football player in the school. This is making everyone else very annoyed and people are fed up with him behaving in such an arrogant way. What can you do to help him? How could you help him to sort out this particular problem and realise that he is behaving in an unacceptable way? 4 Pupils can find out about others who have completed acts of bravery, made new inventions which have saved others’ lives or done something else that they might rightly feel a sense of pride about. They can then formulate a list of these individuals and discuss whether or not these acts give them the right to also feel or think that they are better than others in some way. Would their acts allow them to experience feelings of arrogance? Should they? 4 Anna is now in a horrible position. She must be feeling very angry, sad and humiliated. She must also be feeling worried about seeing all her school friends again and going back to the ice skating rink. The pupils can work together in small groups to discuss how they would try to help her sort out all these problems and to recognise her feelings and the need to change. They can record work using the Problem Page format in the Appendix. 4 Pupils can further discuss the following questions: Have you heard the expression ‘saving face’? What does it mean? Have you ever needed to do that?


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Feeling Generous Feeling generous is when you really share yourself and your possessions with others.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Generous Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Generous Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Generous Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . Generous Me! Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . Times to be Generous


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Lesson 18: Feeling Generous Warm up Activity The Balloon This game aims to allow each pupil to feel part of the group whilst also encouraging a sense of power for the pupil who is placed in the centre of the circle. All of the pupils hold hands in the circle and one pupil is chosen to stand in the middle and blow up a balloon. The circle of pupils here represents the expansion of the balloon, i.e. they begin by placing themselves close to the pupil in the centre as the balloon has not been blown up. As the pupil blows into the balloon, the circle then gets bigger with the pupils moving away from the pupil in the centre until the balloon blower claps his/her hands and all the children are required to fall to the floor, i.e. the balloon has burst! This can be repeated with other children and it may be helpful for the facilitator to particularly focus on reinforcing the sense of power and self-esteem for some of the less assertive members of the group.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger feelings of arrogance? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of more helpful ways of responding to these triggers in the future? The Feeling Generous poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of generosity to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling generous is when you really share yourself and your possessions with others. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling generous mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful?


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Lesson 18: Feeling Generous 4 How do other people show their feelings of generosity? 4 Do some feelings of generosity last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling and behaving in an ungenerous way? How could you be sure that they were feeling or behaving in this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why were Janet and Hal so excited? 2. Do you think dad really thought the children would be going to Disney Land or did he just make a joke? 3. Did mum feel happy with the idea of Sid’s parents paying for everything? 4. Why did dad feel they could accept the generous offer? 5. Where had Ella and Joe got all their money from? 6. What sort of people had they been before their big win? 7. Has anyone ever been really generous towards you? Where? Why? What happened? 8. Have you ever been really generous towards a friend or a member of your family? Where? Why? What did you do?

Act it out! There is no STOP hand in this story as it has a happy ending for all involved. The pupils can work in groups to act out the whole story. The teacher can prompt them to show the excitement that the whole family felt in this story. They may want to make up an ending or show the family staying in Florida and making their visit to Disney Land. What is important is to show how generosity can lead to such warm feelings and a happy and exciting outcome.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Generous This activity can be completed by the pupils in pairs or smaller groups. They are asked to consider the many different ways that we can be generous towards others and to record 10 of these on the activity sheet provided. They are finally asked to discuss two questions with a partner as follows: Is it ever right not to be generous, can people ever be “too” generous. Time should be allocated for the children to feedback and to identify any similarities and differences in their responses to this activity. It is particularly important that they can identify times when people can be too generous or over generous. These behaviours may often be the direct result of individuals wanting support, attention or love from others. It is important to discourage the idea that approval and love can be bought in some way i.e. if a child gives someone all their sweets every day for a week will that mean that they have made a very good friend, have they bought their friendship, have they been generous or have they been in some way manipulative?

Self-reflection Activity – Generous Me! In this activity the pupils are asked to draw a cartoon strip to illustrate a time when they were feeling and being generous. They are asked to show what triggered their behaviour, what they did, how they and others felt and what happened in the end. They are then asked to set themselves future ‘generosity goals’. They are required to think of three ways in which they can be generous and kind to others in order to


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make them feel special, loved and valued. The ideas can be recorded on the sheet. The children are also required to set a ‘do’ date for each target and then review how well they did at a later date. The idea here is to focus on the importance of setting goals that are time bound. If we do not set dates on our targets, then we leave them open to not being met. It may be useful to also set a whole class review date so that the pupils can come back and discuss how they did or did not achieve these generosity goals.

Take Home Task – Times to be Generous In this activity the pupils are asked to identify when they are generous and when others are generous towards them. They are required to discuss their ideas with a friend or family member and to record them on the chart provided. This involves identifying any similarities and differences in their responses and considering the nature of generosity in slightly more depth for example, do acts of generosity need to be related to material goods or can people be generous with themselves and their time as well.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling generous in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can listen to the story: ‘The Selfish Giant’ by Oscar Wilde. They can think about the changes that take place in this story, particularly for the giant. His life is changed beyond recognition. 4 Pupils can then make up their own stories entitled ‘The Generous Giant’ and show how the personality of this character changes others who are mean and selfish. 4 Pupils can make up acrostic poems making use of the word ‘generosity’. 4 Pupils can think of as many things as they possibly can that could be seen as generous and make up a ‘generous’ list. This list might include a range of things that they could do to help others - acts of kindness or sharing such as giving presents, giving love, sharing of games and times, etc. 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light Method to solve the following problem :Your friend is just too generous. She is always giving you things – her sweets, her toys and half of her lunch box most days. The problem is it is beginning to make you feel embarrassed. You would like her to stop this because you feel so uncomfortable about it. It feels as if she is just trying to buy your friendship. How can you sort this out? What can you do? What would be your best plan?


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Feeling Selfish Feeling selfish is when you only think about yourself and don’t care about the needs and feelings of others.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Sefish Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Sefish Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Sefish Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . An Act of Selfishness Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Who is Selfish?


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Lesson 19: Feeling Selfish Warm up Activity The Rainbow The pupils are asked to sit in the circle and the facilitator names the children around the circle using the colours of the rainbow – red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. The teacher then calls out one to three different colours. The pupils representing these colours are required to change places. When the facilitator calls out ‘RAINBOW’ all the pupils are required to change places. The teacher may wish to tell the children that the last two to be seated after a change would be out in order to make this slightly more exciting and fun.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger feelings of generosity? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of being generous in the future? The Feeling Selfish poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of selfishness to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Selfish is when you only think of yourself and don’t care about the needs and feelings of others. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling selfish mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do other people show their feelings of selfishness ? 4 Do some feelings of selfishness last longer than others? If so, why?


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4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling and behaving in a selfish way? How could you be sure that they were feeling or behaving in this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why was Anna so excited at the start of the story? 2. Do you think that she was right to eat the chocolate angels as she walked to school? 3. How was Miss Best going to ‘make it fair’ for all the children in her class? 4. What could Anna have done with the playing cards? 5. Why do you think that Miss Best didn’t smile when she said “Well done” to Anna after the musical bumps game? 6. Why did Caris think Jake’s mum was generous? 7. How did Anna feel when she didn’t get an invitation? 8. Why do you think that Jake didn’t want her at his party? 9. Do you think Anna will be able to really make friends? If not, why not? 10. What do you think she’d have to do in order to have friends at school?

Act it out! The pupils can act the story until they get to the STOP hand. The teacher can prompt them to consider how to make up a better ending for Anna. Can they show how she changes from being selfish to being kind and thinking about the other children in her class? What can she say and do differently? How will this change how others react to her?

Activity Sheet – Feeling Selfish In this activity the pupils are asked to look at a series of pictures and identify what is happening in each of these, in what way is each person depicted being selfish or behaving in a selfish way. The pictures include the following: A child taking more than her fair share of sweets, a child pushing another out of the way in order to grab the parcel in a game of pass-the-parcel, a man getting into a taxi and leaving an older, frailer looking couple standing in the snow outside, two girls playing a game in the playground and not letting another child join in etc. The second part of this activity requires the pupils to stop, think and reflect. They are asked to discuss with a partner how each person in each of the scenarios might feel and also to consider how they might feel if people were selfish like this towards them. Finally they are asked to identify what everyone can do in order to try and avoid being selfish, what should our golden rules be, what should our behaviours be like, what should our thought processes be like. It would be helpful to allocate additional time to this part of the discussion in order to ensure that each pupil’s views can be listened to, validated and recognised.

Self-reflection Activity – An Act of Selfishness In this activity the pupils are asked to consider a series of ‘acts of selfishness’. They are asked to highlight each of the descriptors that may apply to them - which one of these acts have you committed? They are then required to answer a series of questions. The ‘acts’ include the following: 4 I kept all my sweets to myself.


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4 I left a friend out of a game. 4 I took the last biscuit from the packet. 4 I didn’t share my ideas with someone who was stuck. 4 I didn’t put all my effort into a group piece of work. 4 I didn’t let them watch their favourite TV programme, etc. The questions for reflection can then be answered on the reverse of the sheet provided. These include the following: 4 Which of these acts do you think is the most selfish and why? 4 Which of these acts do you think is the least selfish and why? The pupils are also asked to rate themselves on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 not at all, 5 a medium amount, 10 extremely selfish). They are then asked to consider where they would like to be on the scale. Would they like to move higher or lower on the scale, i.e. would they like to be more or less selfish than they are currently? They are then asked to identify how they can get there. What would they need to do? This involves them in recording three smart targets on the reverse of the sheet. This is a solution-focused activity and once again reinforces to the pupils the importance of self-motivation, good target setting and the ways in which we can engender change in ourselves by focusing on positives in the future.

Take Home Task – Who is Selfish In this activity the pupils are asked to identify who is selfish in a range of illustrations provided on the activity sheet. They are required to work with a friend or a family member in order to assess the level of selfishness with each individual concerned, ticking or crossing against each description. The idea here is to engender discussion and debate and to identify whether or not the two individuals working on this activity can actually agree. The statements and pictures include the following: Cara doesn’t want to share her sweets, Mat doesn’t want his mum to have a new boyfriend, Janet wants her little brother to stop taking her things, Amy wants to be top of the class every week, Dean wants a birthday party so all his friends can come and buy him a present etc. The final part of the activity requires the child and family member or friend to discuss further as to whether or not they can always tell if people are being selfish. They are also asked to consider if there are times when people need to be selfish if so, what are these times or what are these particular situations and what is special about them. They are also asked to identify whether or not they agree what constitutes selfish behaviour and if so to draw up a list together, this can be recorded on the back of the sheet provided.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling selfish in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?


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Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can consider how Christmas is traditionally a time for giving and sharing. They can then make a list of their own friends and family members and to identify what they would like to give to them and why. They can think about their particular needs and likes. For example, mum might need a new necklace because her old one broke as she lost the catch on it; Jan might want a bunch of flowers because she loves them and she hasn’t got a garden, etc. 4 Pupils can write a better ending to the ‘selfish’ story, starting at the stop hand. They can change Anna’s actions so that she does the right thing and, in the end, receives an invitation to Jake’s party. 4 Pupils can make definitions for a selfish friend and an unselfish friend. Which one would they like to be and why? 4 Pupils can design ‘Don’t Be Selfish’ posters in order to promote pro-social behaviours amongst their peer group. These can be presented as a class or whole school display. 4 Pupils can further discuss the following questions :How people can avoid being selfish? What are the benefits?


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Feeling

Intimidated Feeling intimidated is when you feel afraid of a person or a group. You may be bullied or frightened into doing something you don’t want to do.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Intimidated Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Intimidated Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Intimidated Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Bullied Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . What is Bullying?


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Lesson 20: Feeling Intimidated Warm up activity The Shape The teacher can randomly distribute sticky shapes among the pupils, sticking these onto the pupils’ foreheads. However, it is important that the pupils do not see what their shape is. The teacher can make use of four or five different shapes, e.g. circle, star, triangle, moon, etc. Different coloured stars can be used if shapes are unavailable. The idea here is for the pupils to then group themselves according to the shapes on their foreheads. For example, all the circles together, all the stars together, etc. They are not, however, allowed to talk during this activity and are also not allowed to mime what someone’s shape is. The teacher can time how quickly they are able to get into the correct groups. Subsequent to this activity it may be useful to focus on how it felt to be helped and supported by others in this activity and to reinforce the fact that all of us need help and support at various times and for various reasons. Once again, this is an activity in which the pupils are encouraged to work together and focus on further developing co-operation skills.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger feelings of selfishness? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of responding to such triggers in the future? The Feeling Intimidated poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of intimidation to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Intimidated is when you feel afraid of a person or group. You may be bullied or frightened into doing something you don’t want to do. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the children. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling intimidated mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think?


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4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do other people show they are feeling intimidated? 4 Do some of these feelings and experiences last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling intimidated or that they wanted to intimidate someone else? How could you be sure that they were feeling or behaving in this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why did Sam feel so sick when his mum left? 2. What did the boys want from Sam? 3. Do you think he’d given them money before this? Why? 4. What did Jos mean when he said “We’ll do you”? What do you think they intended to do if Sam hadn’t given them the money? 5. Do you think that the teacher knew what was happening? 6. What could Sam have done to help himself? 7. What do you think will happen next? 8. What would you if you were in Sam’s shoes?

Act it out! The pupils can act the story until they get to the STOP hand. They can try to work out a better ending for Sam. What could he have said and done differently? How could he have responded to Mr Jefffers? Could he have said something to his Mum at the start of the day? The pupils can be prompted to consider how they would respond in the same situation and where they could elicit help in their school prior to making up their more positive scenarios.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Intimidated In this activity the pupils are asked to identify things that they can do in school in order to try and stop or prevent bullying. They are asked to consider how they can help each other and what strategies they can use. These ideas can then be recorded in pictures and labels on the activity sheet provided. Some examples are also provided in order to prompt the children’s thinking for example, using the bully box, having nominated playground helpers and buddies to watch out for incidents of bullying and befriend children who may look or appear vulnerable and holding special assemblies in order to highlight the nature of bullying and the ways in which this can be combated for example by developing and agreeing to an anti-bullying charter.

Self-reflection Activity – Feeling Bullied The pupils are asked to complete a self-reflection chart which involves a series of sentence completion activities as follows:


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4 I was bullied when … 4 I felt … 4 What I did … 4 I think that the bullies felt … 4 People who did or might have helped me … 4 What I wanted to happen … Once they have completed this chart, they are then asked to discuss a series of questions with a partner as follows: 4 What would you do to help yourself if you were bullied again? 4 How could you stop the bullying? They are asked to think of three strategies and to record these on the self-reflection activity sheet. What is important here is to emphasise the need to have access to reliable whole school strategies and systems. When we are bullied it can be very difficult to help ourselves. We can, to some extent, become reliant upon others being observant and intervening on our behalf. However, the children need to be aware of the fact that they can, even in the worst situations, attempt to keep themselves safe and try and work out ways in which to do this.

Take Home Task – What is Bullying? This activity involves two thought storms. Bullying can obviously take many different forms and happen in a variety of places. People can be bullied by friends, family members, teachers, carers, bosses and many other people. It is important to consider the fact that many people who bully are generally unhappy and want to make others feel the same way as they do. The idea here is for the pupils to work with a friend or family member in order to try and complete the following two thought storms: 4 why do people bully others 4 how can we prevent bullying It is important here to focus on the fact that bullying occurs absolutely everywhere, it may be enlightening for the child to realise that an adult can be bullied in a social or work context and it may be illuminating for the adult to gain further insight as to the nature of the bullying that may be going on in the child’s school or social context. The pupils are finally asked to develop a plan with their partner, working together to identify what they would do if they felt as if they were being bullied, what strategies could they use and who could they go to for help and support. This is particularly important, we all need to know where to get help and this is vital when we are feeling vulnerable and downtrodden. If we have already got a plan then it would be easier to put it into action no matter how weak or fragile we were feeling.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling intimidated in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us?


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4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light Method to solve Sam’s problem. They can pretend that they are one of Sam’s classmates and that they know what’s happening to him. They can use this format in order to make an action plan which will help him to sort out this bullying problem. 4 Pupils can write a good ending to this story from the stop hand. They can show how it is possible for someone to stick up for themselves or, alternatively, enlist the support that they need. 4 Pupils can formulate a focus group to discuss specific issues around bullying. These might include the following: What makes a bully behave in this way? Does he/she often need to act big in front of a group? How does a bully look? How does a bully feel? Are bullies always strong or are they sometimes sad or worried or jealous themselves? How can we help bullies? 4 Pupils can formulate a plan to stop bullying in their school. They may wish to discuss this with staff as and when appropriate and the plan could include: assemblies teaching strategies for younger children to combat bullying, teaching assertiveness skills to all children in the school setting, specific ground rules to prevent bullying and ensuring access to an effective monitoring service through a bully box and report format. 4 Pupils can write acrostic poems using the word ‘intimidation’. 4 Pupils can investigate the range of agencies that promote anti-bullying strategies and initiatives and support children who are experiencing this kind of intimidation. These can include Childline, Mind, and the Anti-bullying Alliance. Pupils can then produce displays and information packs which may be useful to other children in the school.


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Feeling Accepted Feeling accepted is when you know that others like you for being yourself and when you don’t have to pretend to be something you’re not.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Accepted Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Accepted Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Accepted Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . The Triangle of Need Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Accepted


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Lesson 21: Feeling Accepted Warm up Activity Chinese Fingers In this activity the pupils sit in a circle. They are asked to face the back of the person sitting to their left. One pupil is chosen to begin the activity. They are asked to draw a simple shape or number on the back of the person that they are looking towards. This pupil then copies the shape or number they think was drawn onto their back onto the back of the pupil they are facing. This activity continues around the circle until it reaches the last person in the circle. This person then states the number or shape they believe was drawn onto their back. They can check out the accuracy with the person who began the activity.

Circle talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger bullying behaviours? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger them to experience feeling intimidated? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of responding to such triggers in the future? The Feeling Accepted poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of acceptance to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Accepted is when you know that others like you for being yourself and when you don’t have to pretend to be something that you’re not. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling accepted mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling?


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4 Is it useful? 4 How do other people show they are feeling accepted? 4 Do some of these feelings and experiences last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were not feeling accepted? How could you be sure that they were feeling or behaving in this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why was Fred feeling so nervous? 2. Do you think he was right to feel nervous? 3. Why did he not like his Mum knowing when he felt upset? 4. How do you think Germaine felt when Fred didn’t shake his hand? 5. Why do you think Germaine gave Fred a second chance? 6. Do you think there is such a thing as a perfect person in terms of looks? 7. Do you think it is right to tease others about how they look? 8. What did Fred do to make things better? 9. Have you ever felt rejected and/or accepted? When? Why? What happened?

Act it out! The teacher can remind the pupils of the story up to the Stop Hand. He / she can re-read the story to this point if necessary/time allows. The pupils can then act out the story until they get to the Stop Hand. At this point, they can try to work out a way for Fred to overcome his feelings of fear and to accept Germaine’s offer of friendship. They will need to think carefully about how this conversation will develop and how Fred can avoid hurting other people’s feelings or making them feel rejected.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Accepted In this activity the pupils are presented with a series of pictures. They are asked to identify how they might help each individual to feel accepted, what could they do, what do they think each of these characters would like and wouldn’t like in terms of support. It is important to allocate sufficient time for the pupils to discuss their ideas with each other, they can then complete the chart presented on the activity sheet. Illustrations include a Somali boy sitting at the side of the classroom isolated and watching his white peers chatting to each other, a girl in a wheelchair sitting at the side of a netball pitch watching the game and a boy with a hearing aid sitting in a class where his peers are engaged in composing music with instruments etc. The idea here is for the pupils to be able to put themselves in someone else’s shoes i.e. the development of empathy. It is also important to highlight actions that may make the individuals concerned feel embarrassed or further rejected, even though these may be done with the best of intentions.

Self-reflection Activity– The Triangle of Need In this activity the pupils are presented with the triangle of need. This is based loosely upon Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. The needs are recorded in a triangle numbered 1 to 5 as follows:


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1. To be sheltered, fed and warm. 2. To be and feel safe. 3. To belong and to be cared for. 4. To be accepted and valued by others and to accept and value ourselves. 5. To learn and reach our best goals. The pupils are asked to consider whether or not they are currently feeling accepted, safe and cared for. Who is it that helps them and who meets their needs? They are asked to complete a chart which details the five needs and identifies who is helping them to meet each of these needs and what they are doing in order to support the children at this current time. The final aspect of this activity requires the pupils to work with partners in order to identify the three most important things that make them feel accepted. They are asked to consider whether or not these are the same for each of them, identifying similarities and differences. They are also asked to highlight specifically what it is that we all need in order to feel accepted, safe and cared for. It may be helpful to allocate some time for the children to feedback to the group as a whole. It will probably be the case that the responses are quite similar and the facilitator can highlight these in the plenary discussion.

Take home task - Feeling Accepted In this activity the pupils are asked to consider how they can and do make others feel accepted, particularly those of whom they have close relationships and feelings of love. They are asked to identify ways in which they make other people feel good about themselves and let them know that they are accepted for being who they are. In this activity the pupils are asked to work with a friend or a family member in order to discuss this question prior to completing the two charts entitled ‘five ways you make me feel accepted’. The idea here is to encourage the pupils to discuss their experiences with a significant friend or adult and to highlight any similarities and differences in the ways in which they promote feelings of acceptance within each other. They may also wish to consider how they can further develop these behaviours in order to maintain and further increase feelings of acceptance between themselves and their friends or significant relatives.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling accepted in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light Method to focus on the following problem – you really want to feel accepted by the most popular boys/girls in your class but they all wear designer clothes and trainers and your mum can’t afford to let you have such expensive clothes. You feel jealous, angry and fed-up about this. What can you do/ How can you solve this problem?


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4 The pupils can make a whole-class display on the theme of ‘we are different’ and each pupil can contribute a self-portrait or a photograph and a short description of themselves. 4 Pupils can write stories on the theme ‘it’s good to be different’. 4 Pupils can conduct a school survey in order to identify the wide range/number of nationalities, languages, cultures and faiths that there are in the school. This information could be presented in the form of a whole school display and celebrated through individual class assemblies. 4 Pupils can consider the ways in which people are different, i.e. someone may be visually impaired, hearing impaired or have a physical difficulty of some kind. They can then identify how the school context might be adapted in order to ensure their inclusion.


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Feeling Alienated Feeling alienated is when you feel as if you don’t belong and that everyone has rejected you. Feeling alienated is when you feel as if you don’t belong and that everyone has rejected you.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Alienated Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Alienated Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Alienated Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . . I Felt Alienated Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . Who is Alienated?


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Lesson 22: Feeling Alienated Warm up activity Balloons In this activity the teacher will need to have collected together two or three balloons which can have been blown up prior to the start of the session. If the group is particularly large, it may be helpful to have six or eight balloons ready. The facilitator then explains that the object of the game is to keep the balloons in the air at all times. Each pupil in the group must, however, remain in their space at the front of their chair. They can reach in, out, or to the side in order to prevent the balloon from touching the floor but they are not allowed to leave the spot on which they are standing or sitting. The idea here is to encourage co-operation within a fun game that includes legitimate movement.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger feelings of acceptance? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger them to experience feeling unaccepted? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of responding to such triggers in the future? The Feeling Alienated poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of alienation to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Alienated is when you feel as if you don’t belong and that everyone has rejected you. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling alienated mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling?


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4 Is it useful? 4 How do other people show they are feeling alienated? 4 Do some of these feelings and experiences last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were alienated? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why did Lazar like chocolate so much? 2. How did it help him when he felt nervous? 3. Why was this a big day for him? 4. Why had his parents felt stressed in the past? 5. What had happened to his family in Albania? 6. Why do you think that children called him a scrounger and an illegal? 7. Do you think their behaviour was racist? Why? 8. What do you think Lazar should have done and said? 9. How do you think schools can help children like Lazar? What do you suggest?

Act it out! The teacher can remind the pupils of the story up to the Stop Hand. He / she can re-read the story to this point if necessary/time allows. The pupils can then act the story until they get to the Stop Hand. They can try to work out how Lazar could have dealt with this situation. It may be that he needed to get some help from an adult in the school in order to sort things out and to stop the racist bullying. The pupils need to be encouraged to share their ideas and experiences in order to work out the best way forward for him.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Alienated In this activity the pupils are presented with a letter from a young boy called Jamal. He is feeling very alienated, angry and confused. This is due to the fact that his mother’s just got married again and he is now unable to see his father as frequently as he has gone back to live in Jamaica. Most distressing is the fact that he is in a new school which is a long way from London and there are no other black children, it is seems that Jamal is the only Africa Caribbean child in the whole school. The idea here is for the pupils to write back to Jamal giving him some useful advice and ideas as to how he can move forward. It is important to ensure adequate time for discussion and particularly consider how other children and adults could help Jamal begin to feel less alienated and more included both in the home and in the school context.

Self-reflection Activity – I felt Alienated In this activity the pupils are asked to complete a thought-storm. They are required to think of as many different ways and times that they may have felt alienated, both in and out of the school context. These can then be recorded around their individual portraits on the sheet. The second part of the activity asks them to discuss their ideas and responses with a partner. They are asked to think of ways that they


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can prevent (a) themselves and (b) others from feeling alienated. What is it that they can do? They are asked to work with their partner in order to make two lists of strategies, identifying the ways in which these lists are similar or different. They are also asked to consider why there may be such similarities and differences and why this might be the case. It will be helpful to allocate some additional time so that each pair can feedback to the group as a whole.

Take home task – Who is alienated? In this activity the pupils are asked to work with a friend or a family member in order to discuss why certain people may feel alienated. They are presented with a series of pictures of people in a range of situations and are asked to discuss why they think each of them may be experiencing a sense of alienation. They are finally asked also to consider how they themselves might feel were they in a similar position and to identify ways in which we can prevent others from experiencing these feelings. What is it that we can do, how can we be pro-active in terms of ensuring that everyone feels included within our social and educational context? The illustrations include the following: a picture of a young black girl sitting watching a group of white children playing, a deaf child sitting in a classroom with his peers laughing and having fun, a picture of a little boy being pushed out of the dining queue by bigger children who are laughing at him, a picture of a boy at a party kicking out at other children who are playing musical statues, a picture of an old man sitting on a park bench on his own looking lost and sad, a picture of a child with cerebal palsy taking part with others in a swimming gala, a picture of an old lady with others at her club having a game of cards, a picture of Muslim woman at the bus stop being spat at by two white boys.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling alienated in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can collect a range of newspaper stories and articles on the issue of immigration and discuss the ways in which different views are represented. How do we know if we are being presented with facts or fiction? 4 Pupils can design posters on the theme of anti-racism. 4 Pupils can Investigate the lives of freedom fighters such as Nelson Mandela and ask pupils to discuss and identify the reasons why people may have been forced to leave their own countries or to fight against an existing government/regime. 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light Method to solve the following problem– your parents move house and you have to go to a new school but when you get there everybody teases you because you have a different accent. They won’t play with you or include you in any of their games and no-one will sit next to you in lessons. You feel sad, angry, alienated, nervous and rejected.


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Feeling Bereaved Feeling bereaved is when you have the painful experience of losing someone close to you and feeling totally lost and sad without them.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Bereaved Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Bereaved Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Bereaved Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . Losses in my Life Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Our Losses


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Lesson 23: Feeling Bereaved Warm up Activity Feeling Lines The teacher can distribute plain pieces of A4 paper to each pupil in the group and also make available a selection of coloured pencils or pens. Each pupil is given the name of a feeling which they are then asked to commit to memory. These might include the following: happy, sad, angry, upset, nervous, unconfident, contented, lonely, etc. Each pupil is asked to draw a line in order to represent the feeling that they have been given. This can be done to a time limit, e.g. 3 minutes. The line must start on one side of the paper and finish on the other but it can be any colour, thickness or shape. The pupils can then group themselves according to the feeling that they have been given and compare their lines, discussing why they drew the line as they did. One person from each group may wish to act as scribe in order to then feedback on what each group has committed to paper. Alternatively, pupils may wish to go round the circle and describe what they have drawn and why they have drawn the feeling in this particular way.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger feelings of alienation? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger people to experience feeling alienated? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of responding to such triggers in the future? The Feeling Bereaved poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of bereavement to the pupils. (As stated in the introduction, it will be particularly important for the teacher to be sensitive to the needs of specific individuals in the group who may be currently experiencing such a loss. Clearly, it will be necessary to identify whether or not this is an appropriate session for the child to engage with or if it is more beneficial to offer alternative support or withdraw the child. This should, if possible be discussed with the child and they can then decide how they wish to proceed.) The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Bereaved is the painful experience of losing someone close to you and feeling totally lost and sad without them. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session.


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The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling bereaved mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do you think other people show they are feeling bereaved ? 4 Do some of these feelings and experiences last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling bereaved? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why was Sally feeling tired and upset? 2. Why did she feel so guilty? 3. Do you think she really was a bad girl when her Dad was alive? 4. Why was she angry with her Mum? 5. Do you think she was right to be angry with her Mum? 6. What was her Mum trying to do? 7. What do you think Sally really wanted her Mum to do? 8. What did Mum mean when she said, “You need to respect my privacy”? 9. How do you think Sally could cope better with all these difficult feelings?

Act it out! The teacher can remind the pupils of the story up to the Stop Hand. He / she can re-read the story to this point if necessary/time allows. The pupils can then act the story out until they get to the Stop Hand, and then try to work out a better ending. Clearly, Sally’s Dad will not come back. However, she needs to be able to cope with this fact, as do the other members of the family. The pupils need to particularly focus on trying to work out what they can say to each other and how they can best help each other at this sad time.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Bereaved When people lose someone they love or they move away from a place or group of friends, they can feel very sad and experience a real sense of bereavement. The idea here is to encourage the pupils to consider what such individuals would and would not need in these situations. The pupils need to be allocated some time to discuss their ideas in a group and then record them on the chart provided. Clearly some pupils may be able to make reference personal experiences in order to complete this


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task whilst for others it will be important that they try to put themselves into other people’s shoes i.e. developing empathy and awareness of how others might feel when they are experiencing such difficult and complex situations.

Self-reflection Activity – losses in my Life In this activity the pupils are asked to reflect upon three loses that they have experienced: a small loss, a medium loss and a large loss. They are provided with a chart which enables them to record the main aspects of each of these losses, identifying what the loss was, how they felt, what they said and did and who they did, or did not, get help from. The final part of this self-reflection activity is entitled ‘Future Focus’. The pupils are asked to complete the following sentence. 4 If I experience these types of loss in the future, I would get help from … They are required to try and identify three different support agencies. These might include individuals within the school or out of the school context. They may also include organisations who support children who have suffered bereavement, such as ‘Winston’s Wish’ et al. What is important, however, is that the children have an opportunity to share these sources of help and to identify any support avenues that they have already accessed that they have found useful.

Take home task – Our Losses The pupils are asked to again consider the fact that we all experience losses and these can be both small and large. We miss people who move away and we also miss people we love who have died, whilst we will also miss smaller things like a special pair of shoes or a favourite teacher. The pupils are asked to reflect upon a loss that they have had and to identify who helped them through this. They are asked to discuss this with a friend or family member and both of them are asked to complete the two questionnaires on the activity sheet provided. They are finally asked to consider whether or not they used similar strategies in order to cope with their loss and to identify whether or not they would do anything differently or seek different support if they experienced another loss in the future. What is important here is that both parties show understanding and respect for the other person’s loss and also realise the importance of supporting one another, identify the most appropriate ways to do this.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling bereaved in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can investigate how different religions mark or celebrate death. What ceremonies do they use and how and why are these significant? They can record this information illustrated fact sheets.


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4 Pupils can listen to the story Good Night, Mr Tom by Michelle Magorian (Harper Collins 1982). This story concerns Will, an evacuee from London, who discovers warmth and love in the care of Mr Tom. The story incorporates many aspects of loss from physical abuse, rejection by his mother and death, whilst also remaining a story full of hope and trust regained. 4 Pupils can complete poems about saying goodbye, leaving, loss and separation. 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light Method to solve the following problem – your friend has recently lost a family member and is grieving. He is finding it very difficult to cope at school and often hits out at others for no reason – he feels angry and hurt for most of the time. This makes you feel sad, hurt and often angry with him. How can you help him? Use the Traffic Light Method to find a solution to this problem. 4 Pupils can listen to Sur Les Lagunes from Nuits d’Ete by Berlioz and discuss how this music makes them feel, think and respond to the topic of loss and longing.


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Feeling Betrayed Feeling betrayed is when you feel that someone has let you down and you can no longer trust them to keep your confidence.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Betrayed Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Betrayed Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Betrayed Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . Beling Betrayed Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . A Sense of Betrayal


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Lesson 24: Feeling Betrayed Warm up Activity Disagree or Agree The pupils can sit as for a circle time session and be paired with the person sitting directly next to them. The teacher can go around the circle labelling each pair of children as either an ‘agree pair’ or a ‘disagree pair’. The teacher can then read out a series of statements, one at a time, and explain to the pupils that they are to work in groups in order to come up with reasons why they would disagree or agree with each of the statements. These might include the following: 4 Girls are better readers than boys. 4 Rabbits make better pets than cats. 4 Television is not good for children. 4 All children should wear school uniform. 4 Girls should not be allowed to go out with boys until they are 17 years. 4 Women should always stay at home and look after their children. 4 Boys should not cry. 4 Children should do less homework, etc. The pupils can then feed back their reasoning as to why they disagree or agree with each of the statements. This can be done in turn around the circle.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger feelings of alienation? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger people to experience feeling alienated? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of responding to such triggers in the future? The Feeling Bereaved poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of bereavement to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Betrayed is when you feel that someone has let you down and that you can no longer trust them to keep your confidence. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value


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Lesson 24: Feeling Betrayed

and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling betrayed mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do you think other people show they are feeling betrayed? 4 Do some of these feelings and experiences last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling betrayed? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. When did the two boys go back into class and why? 2. What did Josh find in Tom’s tray? 3. Why were the children not allowed to bring expensive toys to school? 4. What do you think the difference is between borrowing and stealing? 5. Why do you think Josh didn’t listen to Michael? 6. Why do you think that Michael eventually told the truth? 7. What should Josh have done? 8. How do you think the two boys will feel later on? 9. Do you think that they can become friends again and if so, how? 10. What do you think should happen next?

Act it out! The teacher can remind the pupils of the story up to the Stop Hand. He / she can re-read the story to this point if necessary/time allows. The pupils can then act the story out until they get to the Stop Hand. They can then work together to try to work out a better ending for the two boys. What can they do and say in order to make things better rather than worse?

Activity Sheet – Feeling Betrayed In this activity the pupils are asked to consider and identify situations when they have felt betrayed or may feel betrayed. They are asked to consider the causes of such feelings and to discuss their ideas with


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a friend or partner. These can then be recorded on the thought-storming chart provided. Two ideas have already been provided in order to prompt initial thinking, these are as follows: 4 We feel betrayed if a friend talks about us in an unkind way 4 We feel betrayed if someone tells a lie or spreads an unkind rumour about us. Once again, it is important to allocate sufficient talk time here and to encourage the children to share ideas, identifying any similarities and differences in their responses. They may also wish to consider when they may have caused others to feel betrayed and how they might change their own behaviours in the future should this appropriate.

Self-reflection Activity – Being betrayed In this activity the pupils are asked to think about one time in particular when they felt betrayed. They are asked to answer a series of questions as follows: 4 I felt betrayed when … 4 This made me want to … 4 What I said and did … 4 What happened next … 4 What could I have done differently to get a more positive outcome for myself… 4 Who else could have helped me and how… 4 If the same thing happens to me in the future, I will … Once again this is a solution-focused activity. The idea here is not to dwell too deeply on the sense of betrayal or the specific situation but to consider ways in which they could have reacted differently or may respond differently in the future in order to achieve a better outcome in such a situation.

Take home Task – A sense of Betrayal There are many different kinds of betrayal and in this activity the pupils are asked to work with a friend or family member in order to place a series of statements into rank order. They are asked to start with a situation that they feel represents the worse form of betrayal and to end with the one that they feel that represents the least form of betrayal. The statements need to be cut out prior to the start of the activity and time clearly needs to be allocated for discussion. The idea here is to encourage both individuals to justify their responses and to also see if they can come to some agreement on their ranking process. The statements include the following: 4 a man cheats on his partner, 4 a boy trashes the classroom display because he is unhappy, 4 a father refuses to pay maintenance for his two children, 4 a man gets drunk and runs over the family cat by mistake 4 a girl steals her friend’s mobile 4 a little girl takes her older brother’s computer game 4 a boy cheats in an exam in order to please his father 4 a girl hides her mother’s purse so she can’t go out for the night 4 a boy goes off with someone new to his class and leaves his old friend on his own 4 a boy steals from a shop but blames it on his friend


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Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling betrayed in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can investigate how and why people became spies or worked for the secret service in the Second World War. They can try to imagine what a day in the life of a spy would have been like. It will also be helpful for pupils to make use of reference materials and resources before writing up their accounts. 4 Pupils can use the Peaceful Problem Solver to solve the following problem - Your friend has found a new friend and decided that he doesn’t want to be your friend any more. Last year your Mum and Dad split up and you were very upset and told your friend lots of very personal stuff which he is now telling to his new friend. You feel hurt and betrayed. What can you do? 4 Pupils can consider and further discuss the qualities of a good friend – one may be that they stand by you and don’t betray you. They can work in pairs and try to formulate a list of friendship qualities or rules. 4 It may be helpful to read some excerpts from The Diary of Anne Frank and to ask the pupils to consider how she and her family must have felt once they had been betrayed. 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light Method to solve the following problem – your best friend has secretly started smoking. You feel very upset about this because you know that smoking causes cancer and that he is stealing the cigarettes from his older brother. You don’t want to grass him up or betray him so how can you deal with this? Use the Traffic Light Method and try to work out a solution to this problem.


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Feeling Brave Feeling brave is when you feel that you can dare to do the impossible or that you can achieve something even when the odds might be against you.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Brave Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Brave Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Brave Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . Heroes for a Day! Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . . What is Bravery?


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Lesson 25: Feeling Brave Warm up Activity Clockwise or Anti-clockwise In this activity the pupils, once again, are arranged as for a circle time session. Two different actions are sent around the circle simultaneously by the facilitator. For example, a squeezing of the hand of the pupil on the left to travel in a clockwise direction and a tap on the elbow of the pupil to the right to travel in an anti-clockwise direction. The idea here is to have both of these actions simultaneously arrive back with the facilitator. The pupils need to be alert to the fact that they should not pass on an action before they’ve actually received it. It will also be helpful if they can watch carefully as to how the actions are travelling around the circle in order to synchronise their speeds. Pupils can then be identified to pass around movements themselves for further rounds.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger their own feelings of betrayal? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger other people to experience feeling betrayed? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of responding to such triggers in the future? The Feeling Brave poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of bravery to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Brave is when you feel that you can dare to do the impossible or that you can achieve something even when the odds might be against you. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling brave mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave?


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Lesson 25: Feeling Brave

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4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do you think other people show they are feeling brave? 4 Do some of these feelings and experiences last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were trying to be brave? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why were the boys so excited? 2. Why did the two Year 6 boys start to pick on Sara? 3. What do you think about the way they spoke to her? 4. How do you think she felt? 5. Why did Jack get so angry? Was he right to be angry? 6. Do you think Mr Hammond could have helped the younger children? How? 7. What do you think Jack should do now? What would be the bravest thing to do? 8. What happens in your school if someone sees a bullying incident?

Act it out! The teacher can remind the pupils of the story up to the Stop Hand. He / she can re-read the story to this point if necessary/time allows. The pupils can then act the story until they get to the Stop Hand. They can try to work out a better ending for Jack and Sara. How can they respond differently to the bullies? Who can help them and how?

Activity Sheet – Feeling Brave In this activity the pupils are asked to consider the many different ways that people can be brave. The reasons can be both significant and small, for example someone who is scared of water but who tries hard to learn to swim can be considered brave, just as someone who tries to stick up for someone who is being bullied or being racially abused. The pupils are asked to identify someone who they know who has been brave in the past, they are then asked to design a bravery award for this particular individual. It will be useful to highlight the fact that there are many different kinds of bravery and that it could be a very small act of bravery that still deserves such an award. Awards can be presented during a class circle times sessions or alternatively during an assembly.

Self-reflection Activity – Heroes for a Day! In this activity the pupils are asked to consider a time when they may have felt very brave. They could have been helping someone else or even doing something that they were previously frightened of, such as putting their head under the water in the swimming pool. They are asked to draw and label this brave act prior to discussing it with a partner. In their pairs they can focus on the following questions: 4 Did you feel scared or nervous before your act of bravery? If so, how did you overcome these fears? What strategies did you use? Could others use the same strategies?


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The idea here is to focus on the ways in which we can overcome fear and nervousness in order to act in a positive or more assertive way. It will be important to allocate some time for the pupils to feedback their strategies to the group as a whole so that the most common and user-friendly ones can be highlighted and reinforced.

Take Home Task – What is Bravery? In this activity the fact that people can be brave in many different ways is emphasised. For example, someone may stick up for a friend who is being bullied while someone else may save a friend from drowning. Some people performing on stage or jumping into a swimming pool may be an act of bravery if this is something that makes them feel extremely nervous and stressed. The pupils are asked to work with a friend or family member in order to complete the thought storm: what is bravery? This can be done by using labelled illustrations. They are finally asked to reflect further on their own behaviours with both individuals answering a series of questions as follows: have you ever felt brave, what did you do, who do you know who’s been brave, what are their special qualities, is everyone capable of bravery?

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling brave in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can make a list of ‘the ten bravest people I know’ and say what it is that they have done or said which makes them brave. 4 Pupils can listen to The Trouble with the Tucker Twins by Rose Impey and Maureen Galvani (Puffin books).This is a reassuring and true to life portrait of the primary school world where Mick’s life is made a misery by the twins. How can he possibly stand up for himself when it is two against one? However, the story shows that bullies are not as tough as they make out. 4 Pupils can design bravery awards or certificates which can be displayed on a Wall of Fame In the school front entrance. These can be awarded to pupils from all classes across the school (including staff) who are nominated by their peers for showing such qualities. 4 Pupils can consider what it is like to be a bully and why people sometimes behave like this. Reading The True Story of the Three Little Pigs by John Sciezka (Puffin books), shows what really happened when a wolf went to see those three little pigs. This story helps the pupils to see things from the bully’s point of view. 4 Pupils can conduct a piece of Action research to investigate when and where most bullying takes place in their school. They can design an ‘anonymous’ questionnaire for children to complete and then analyse their findings which can be fed back to staff via the school council/ other forum. Staff and pupils can then agree a combat bullying action plan.


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Feeling Dominated Feeling dominated is when you feel that someone or something is trying to control you and you are not free to think, say or do what you want.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Dominated Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Dominated Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Dominated Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . Being Dominated Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . Dominated No More


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Lesson 26: Feeling Dominated Warm up activity Reactions Game For this game the teacher will need to collect together a headband which is either made of elasticated material or fastens with Velcro. A selection of nouns written on cards should also be prepared. These can then be attached to the headband so that the wearer can’t see what is written on them. These nouns may include the following: 4 bad tempered man 4 huge giant 4 cuddly kitten 4 man-eating tiger, etc. The pupils sit in a circle and a volunteer is chosen by the facilitator to wear the headband. One of the cards can then be attached to the front by tucking it under the elastic or using a Velcro pad. The other pupils then volunteer to act in a way that gives the wearer clues to their identity. The pupil who is guessing can ask questions that only require a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer. The pupils who are participating can give clues but these must not contain the actual nouns shown on the headband. Once the correct guess is made, another pupil can have a turn with a different card. The game particularly focuses on reading body language for clues about how a person is reacting.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger their own feelings of bravery? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger other people to experience feeling brave? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of responding to such triggers in the future? The Feeling Dominated poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of domination to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Dominated is when you feel that someone or something is trying to control you and you are not free to think, say or do what you want. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils.


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This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling dominated mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do you think other people show they are feeling dominated? 4 Do some of these feelings and experiences last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling dominated? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why was Ben dreading the weekend? 2. Why did he like his Grandma so much? 3. Do you think that Ben’s Mum knew he was feeling nervous? If so, why do you think she didn’t try to investigate this further? 4. How did Ben’s Dad greet him? 5. Do you think that he realised that he had hurt Ben? 6. Why do you think that Ben couldn’t tell his Dad how he felt about football and darts? 7. What do you think Ben’s Dad would have done if he had known? 8. What did the cousins do to Ben and how did his Dad react to this? 9. Do you think Ben’s Dad was right to call him a wimp? 10. How do you think this situation can be sorted out? What would you suggest Ben should do?

Act it out! The teacher can remind the pupils of the story up to the Stop Hand. He /she can re-read the story to this point if necessary/time allows. In pairs, the pupils can act the story until they get to the Stop Hand. They can then try to work out exactly what Ben could say to his Dad in order to make him understand how unhappy he felt. They will need to remember that Ben feels very scared of his Dad and bullied by him to some extent, so this will demand a lot of courage on his part.


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Activity Sheet – feeling Dominated In this activity the pupils are presented with a series of scenarios. These all detail individuals who feel dominated by others and by situations in different ways. The children are asked to identify what these individuals could do in order to solve the problems - what are their suggestions? They are then required to record their ideas in the chart provided on the activity sheet. The individuals described include the following: Lola, who feels dominated by her friend Ella who tells her what to wear, who to play with and how to behave in lessons. Daniel, who feels dominated by his dad, his dad is always telling him that he’s not clever and doesn’t work hard enough in school. Megan feels dominated by her fear of water. Charlie feels dominated by his group of friends at school who have started to steal from local shops and are pressuring him to follow suit and Jason feels dominated by his own temper which he can’t seem to control. It may be useful to arrange pupils in pairs or small groups in order to complete this activity so that they can share their ideas and thoughts.

Self-reflection activity – Being Dominated In this activity the pupils are asked to complete a self-reflection chart. They are required to identify a time when they felt dominated, identifying the reasons for this situation occurring and why they may have found it difficult to help themselves. They are then asked to work towards a solution, making use of the miracle question. They are required to close their eyes and imagine that this feeling goes away, almost like a small miracle, and to consider how they would feel, look and react should this problem have disappeared. They are also asked to consider what others would do differently. They are finally asked to identify five steps to success, i.e. five things that they could do now in order not to feel dominated like this again or five things that they could do in order to achieve this miracle state, i.e. the solution. This solution-focused activity is very important. The notion of envisaging life without the problem is central to many of the self-reflection activities and the pupils need to be made fully aware of this very powerful tool for motivating themselves and ensuring positive change for the future.

Take home task – Dominated no more In this activity the pupils are asked to consider how we can stop people from feeling dominated by others. They are asked to work with a friend or family member in order to formulate their own suggestions creating a list of top tips entitled ‘stop the domination – 10 strategies we can use’. These strategies may include a range of ideas including being assertive, using ‘I’ statements, having anti-bullying policies, having people to support us in both the school and work context when we do feel stressed or put down, having rules about this wherever we are learning or working etc. It will be interesting here if the pupils are able to discuss this with a family member who is an adult to highlight the fact that domination and bullying are things that take place at any age and at any time in our lives, not just when children are little and in the school context. What is important is that we are all aware of ways and means to illicit support and help and to challenge such behaviours.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling dominated in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been?


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4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can do some further work on developing assertiveness skills and on ways of distinguishing between assertive, aggressive and passive behaviours and responses. They can record a range of problems on problem cards and then act out assertive, aggressive and passive responses to each of these problems. They can also make use of the Problem Page format in the Appendix to record solutions in written form. 4 We are less likely to be dominated when we feel confident and good about ourselves as this enables us to say and do what we want to say and do more easily. Pupils can identify positive points about themselves and compose a personal fact file. This might include things like, things I’m good at, things I don’t like, things I’d like to change etc. The important message here is to reassure pupils that they are valuable and valued and that they have a right to be themselves and to be respected by others for being who they are. 4 Pupils can design posters on the theme of ‘it’s good to be me and it’s good to be different’. 4 Pupils can read the story Jump! by Michelle Magorian and Jan Ormerod (Walker 1994). In this story Steven’s Mother says that real boys don’t go to dance classes, they play tough games like basketball. However, basketball and dancing have one thing in common that Steven loves to do, and he consequently sets out to prove just how wrong his Mother is. 4 Pupils can listen to the Graveyard scene from Act 2 of Mozart’s opera Don Giovanni and discuss how the music illustrates the way in which Leporello is in the Don’s power.


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Feeling

Deceitful Feeling deceitful is when you feel the need to lie to someone else and to be dishonest about your behaviour, thoughts or feelings.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Deceitful Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Deceitful Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Deceitful Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . Feeling Deceitful Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Is it a Lie?


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Lesson 27: Feeling Deceitful Warm up Activity Copy the Clap This game is an action copying game which can be played at great speed. The pupils stand in a circle and the game is started by the teacher performing a simple action. This may be, for example, a crouch down and touch to the floor or a jump up and down. The pupils clap twice and then the facilitator names and points to a pupil. This pupil has to copy the action and then think of a new one that they can then show to the others in the group. The pupils clap twice again and the performer then names and points to another pupil. This activity continues with all the children being required to follow the actions around the circle as they change each time. The idea here is to have no disruption or hesitation in the flow of the game so there is a focus on all the pupils remaining alert and being ready to respond as they never know when it will actually be their turn.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger them to feel dominated? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger other people to experience feeling dominated? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of responding to such triggers in the future? The Feeling deceitful poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of deceitfulness to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Deceitful is when you feel you feel the need to lie to someone else and to be dishonest about your behaviour, thoughts or feelings. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling deceitful mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body?


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Lesson 27: Feeling Deceitful

4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do you think other people show they are feeling or being deceitful? 4 Do some of these feelings and experiences last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling or being deceitful? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why was Marcus so worried at the start of the story? 2. What did his report say? 3. How did his friends try to help him? What did they suggest? 4. Marcus thanked them for being ‘good friends’. Do you think he was right? 5. Why was his Mum so tired? 6. How do you think Marcus felt when he knew his Mum would phone the school? 7. Why did Marcus not enjoy his weekend? How did he feel? 8. Do you think he really felt ill on Monday? 9. Why was Marcus surprised at his Mum’s response? 10. What do you think he should do now?

Act it out! The teacher can remind the pupils of the story up to the Stop Hand. He/she can re-read the story to this point if necessary/time allows. The pupils can then act the story until they get to the Stop Hand. They can try to work out a better ending for Marcus and show how telling the truth can make things better and repair some of the damage of previous lies.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Deceitful In this activity the pupils are presented with a series of illustrations in which the individuals are indulging in deceitful behaviours. The pupils are asked to describe what they are doing and to identify how they think these people are feeling and what they are thinking. This is a discussion activity and the pupils should be arranged with a talk buddy in order to undertake this exercise. The pictures include the following: a picture of a man shoplifting from a supermarket, a picture of a child cheating in an exam, a picture of a child tripping up another child in a race in order to win it, a picture of a boy stealing money from the school office, a picture of a child taking food from another child’s lunchbox, a picture of a little boy taking his younger brother’s toy. The pupils are finally asked to reflect further with their partners discussing a series of questions; why is it wrong to lie, is it ever right to tell a lie, how would you feel if you found out that someone you trusted had not been honest with you.


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Self-reflection Activity – Feeling Deceitful In this activity the pupils are asked to think about times when they felt or have been deceitful. They are presented with a series of statements that they are then asked to tick or cross against if they feel that these may or may not apply to them. The statements include the following: 4 I copied someone’s work. 4 I cheated in a test. 4 I lied to my parent. 4 I pretended to be sick. 4 I stole someone else’s money, etc. The second part of the activity requires the pupils to work with a partner in order to answer a series of questions as follows: 4 Why to you think this is an uncomfortable feeling? 4 Why do you think we all deceive others sometimes? 4 How could we prevent ourselves from lying and cheating? 4 What would need to change? These are complex concepts and questions and it maybe useful to allocate additional time for this discussion. It may also be helpful to encourage pupils to feedback their responses as part of the plenary to the session.

Take Home Task – Is it a lie? In this activity the pupils are presented with a series of statements. They are asked to discuss these with a friend or family member in order to ascertain whether or not they agree that each individual is lying. They are also then asked to discuss what they think about these lies and to consider how bad or serious each lie might be. The statements include the following: 4 Emma told her friend she looked nice in her dress because she didn’t want to hurt her feelings. 4 Helen said her mum was sick and that was why she couldn’t come to school but she was really just taking a day off. 4 Kevin lied when he said his teacher was picking on him, as he didn’t want his mum to know he had been in trouble for mucking around in class. 4 Kelly lied when she said she liked swimming, as she knew that this was her best friend’s favourite sport. 4 Jason said the dog ate the biscuit when he had. 4 Mr Jones lied to his daughter when he said he didn’t have any money to give her, etc. Those engaged in this activity are asked to then reflect further, can they agree as to whether or not they feel these lies are very bad, quite bad or not too bad at all. They are also asked to consider whether some lies are worse than others and if so why this should be the case. A notion of a white lie is also highlighted. Is there such a thing as a white lie and they are finally asked to discuss what would happen if we didn’t lie at all.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling deceitful in this session?


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4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can consider how sometimes a small lie can lead to bigger lies and these can cause a great deal of damage and negative consequences for all involved. Pupils can write stories entitled ‘The Lie’ and these can detail the various consequences of each lie. These stories can take the form of written accounts or can be presented as cartoon strips. 4 Pupils can write poems on the theme of deceit. 4 Pupils can discuss the importance of having rules which keep people safe and happy. This discussion might involve considering what would happen if everyone told lies, stole from each other and fought over possessions and relationships etc. What would the consequences be? It may be useful to devise a series of class rules, whole-school rules and rules that people need to keep safe in the local community. 4 Pupils can make use of the Traffic Light method to solve the following problem – your best friend has been stealing money from his Mum’s purse so that he can buy extra sweets each day. He gives most of these sweets to another boy in your class because he wants to be friends with this boy and thinks that he can buy friendship in this way. You feel angry with him, sorry for him and also upset that he is deceiving his Mum. What should you do? How can you help him? Use the Traffic Light Method and try to work out a solution to this problem. 4 Pupils can investigate what happens to people who commit fraud or who are dishonest in other ways in order to achieve their own ends. What happens to them? How are they brought to justice? They can access information on the Criminal justice system and invite someone from their local youth court to give a talk on these issues. Information can be displayed in a class newsletter or special information book. Alternatively, the pupils may wish to present their findings as a TV or radio programme, making use of DVD or video.


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Feeling Envious Feeling envious is when you feel that others have personal qualities or possessions that you want, but don’t think you have. It is an uncomfortable feeling.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Envious Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Envious Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Envious Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . . Who do I Envy? Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . Who do we Envy?


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Lesson 28: Feeling Envious Warm up Activity Statues This game requires a larger space and for each pupil to have a beanbag. The teacher can explain to the pupils that they must each walk around the room whilst keeping a beanbag balanced on their head. If the beanbag falls off, then the pupil is not allowed to move. They become statues until another pupil picks up the beanbag and puts it back on top of their head. If the helper’s beanbag falls, then he/she also becomes a statue until another pupil helps. The aim here is for as many pupils to be moving around for as long as possible. It may also be useful to focus on what it felt like to be helped and what it felt like to be a helper and to also identify ways in which the pupils can improve upon the amount of time that they were all moving in this activity

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger them to feel the need to lie? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger other people to experience this feeling? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of responding to such triggers in the future? The Feeling Envious poster can be used to initially introduce the feeling of envy to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Envious is when you feel that others have personal or other qualities or possessions that you really want, but don’t think you have. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling envious mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave?


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Lesson 28: Feeling Envious

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4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do you think other people show they are feeling or being envious? 4 Do some of these feelings and experiences last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling or being envious? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. How long had the children in the story been friends? 2. What was happening in the Autumn term? 3. How did the teacher introduce Billy to the class? 4. Why did Alex feel so uncomfortable when Billy sat next to Grace? 5. What happened in the football match? 6. What usually happened in the football matches between Years 5 and 6? 7. What did Alex notice about the mobile phone? 8. What did Alex mean when he suggested that Billy was ‘too good to be true’? 9. How do you think the gang felt when Alex was so rude and ran off? 10. What do you think Alex should do next? Can his friends help him?

Act it out! The teacher can remind the pupils of the story up to the Stop Hand. He/she can re-read the story to this point if necessary/time allows. The pupils can then act the story until they get to the Stop Hand and then try to work out a better ending. Alex is clearly feeling envious, angry and upset so it may not be easy for him to cope with this situation. The pupils need to think about and identify how he can remain more in control of his feelings and particularly how his friends can support him in coping with his envy and jealousy.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Envious The pupils are presented with a series of pictures and scenarios. In each of these the individuals concerned all feel envious for a variety of reasons. The pupils are asked to tick against each box if they think that they have experienced envy in the same situation at some point in their lives. They are then asked to stop, think and reflect further. What would they say to each one of these characters in order to help them cope better with this particular feeling? The pupils are asked to record their ideas in the chart provided on the activity sheet. The idea here is to reinforce the fact that envy is not a particularly helpful feeling and can lead to negative responses and behaviours. The pupils are here encouraged to be more solution focussed i.e. identifying more positive outcomes and ways forward for each of the individuals concerned.


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Self-reflection activity – Who do I envy? In this activity the pupils are asked to draw the person that they envy most in the whole world. They are then asked to label and identify all the things about this person that makes them feel this way. A drawing frame and brain-storming format is provided for them. The second part of the activity requires the pupils to work with a partner and discuss a series of questions as follows: 4 How useful are these feelings? 4 Do you really want to be like this person and, if so, what small things can you do now in order to reach such a goal? 4 Do you think that this is a positive goal? The idea here is to reinforce the fact that envy is not only uncomfortable but it can be very negative in terms of almost paralysing us in our ability to move forward. It is also important to encourage the pupils to analyse more carefully why they aspire to be certain things or to have certain things.

Take Home Task – Who do we envy? In this activity the pupils are presented with a series of pictures of famous people. They are asked to work with a friend or family member in order to identify why they think others might envy these individuals. What are their reasons? They are also asked to consider whether or not they agree. Do they share the same views? For example, do they both think that everyone would envy Britney Spears? It may be the case that some aspects of her lifestyle are not to be envied. What is important here is that if it is possible for the child to work with a family member, that they can listen to and take on board another’s perspective and begin to understand that just because members of our peer group and close friends think the same way as we do, it is not necessarily the case that older people or people from different cultures will also share these views. The pictures include David Beckham, Britney Spears, Jamie Oliver, Beyonce, Michael Owen, Robbie Williams, etc. There is a final reflection activity in which those engaged in this take-home task are required to consider a series of questions as follows: 4 Have you every envied anyone and why? 4 Was this a comfortable experience? 4 How can you avoid envying others? What can you do? The idea here is to reinforce the fact that envy is not particularly helpful if it leads us to feel bad and unable to move forward from a miserable situation. What is important is to consider why we envy someone and to identify what it is about ourselves that we would like to improve. This can then help us to motivate ourselves in order to move on.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling envious in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been?


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Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can make a list of words that have a similar meaning to the word envious, making use of dictionaries and thesauruses and then illustrate their lists. 4 It may be useful to facilitate a class discussion in order to answer the question, “Why is envy often such a destructive feeling?” 4 Pupils can develop a list of coping strategies, “How I can cope with envy?” It may be useful for pupils to work in pairs on this activity and to support each other in identifying the most positive and useful strategies for coping with this feeling. 4 Pupils can identify fairy tales in which the central characters experience this feeling, e.g. the stepmother in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, the ugly sisters in Cinderella etc. and construct their own fairy tales on this theme. 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light method to solve the following problem – your friend’s Mum has just had a baby with her new boyfriend. Everyone loves the baby as she is very cute. However, your friend feels envious of all the attention and gifts that the baby is getting. At times, she really feels like hurting the baby. You are really worried about her. How can you help? What can you do? Use the Traffic Light Method and try to find a solution to this problem.


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Feeling Frantic Feeling frantic is when you feel distracted by strong feelings such as rage, guilt or joy. You can look hurried and sometimes disorganised to those around you.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Frantic Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Frantic Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Frantic Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . A Frantic Moment Take Home Task . . . . . . . . What Makes us Frantic?


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Lesson 29: Feeling Frantic Warm up Activity Positive Statements This is an opportunity for all the pupils in the group to give and receive positive thoughts and feel good about themselves and others. The teacher will need to have prepared a list of positive statements. These can be photocopied onto cards so that the pupils can quickly cut them out. It is suggested that ten positive statements are provided for each pupil in the group. These could include: 4 You are always kind. 4 You look very pretty. 4 You have a nice smile. 4 You work hard. 4 You’re friendly. 4 You’re kind. 4 You have neat writing. 4 You are good at football, etc. There should be a list for each pupil in the group. The pupils can then be divided into smaller groups of five or six. The teacher can ask them to choose a positive statement from their list to give to each member of their group. The statements can then be distributed and when everyone has received all their statements, the pupils can return to the circle. The teacher can then talk to them about how they feel to receive these positive comments about themselves and feedback can be gained from each participant around the circle. An alternative method of delivering this game is to ask the pupils in their smaller groups to formulate a list of ten positive statements and to write these on pre-prepared cards themselves. Clearly, this method of delivery needs to take into account the literacy levels of the pupils in the group.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger them to feel envious of others? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger other people to experience this feeling? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of responding to such triggers in the future? The Feeling Frantic poster can be used to initially introduce this feeling to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Frantic is when you feel distracted by strong feelings such as rage, grief or joy and you look hurried and sometimes disorganised to those


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Lesson 29: Feeling Frantic

The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling frantic mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do you think other people show they are feeling or being frantic? 4 Do some of these feelings and experiences last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling or being frantic? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why were Gemma and her Mum so excited? 2. Why had they not had enough money in the past? 3. How do you think Gemma and her Mum feel about her Dad? 4. What treats have they got planned? 5. Why has Gemma felt jealous of some of her friends in the past? 6. Why do you think that Gemma’s Mum felt so different the next morning? 7. What do you think she could have done to control or manage her nerves at this point? 8. Why did the two men come to the door? 9. Do you think that they were surprised to find Gemma’s Mum in such a state? 10. How do you think this situation can be resolved? What do you think Gemma and her Mum need to do?

Act it out! The teacher can briefly remind the pupils of the story up to the Stop Hand. He/she may wish to re-read the story to this point if necessary/time allows.


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The pupils can act the story until they get to the Stop Hand. They can try to show how Gemma’s Mum gets increasingly worked up until she gets into a frantic state. They need to focus upon how this makes Gemma and the two neighbours feel and behave? They can then try to work out a solution. What needs to happen next and what do people need to do in order to ensure that Gemma’s Mum can calm down and start her new job?

Activity Sheet – Feeling Frantic In this activity the pupils are asked to identify why the people in the pictures are feeling frantic. They are presented with a series of 5 illustrations and are asked to identify what’s happening and how they would feel themselves in each of these situations. They are also asked to consider what they would do in order to try and help themselves if they were feeling frantic and experiencing the same difficulties or problems as the individuals depicted in the illustrations. Illustrations include a picture of a teacher trying to control an unruly class, a picture of a mother trying to get her children up and out in the morning, a picture of a boy trying to finish his work before playtime, a picture of a girl stuck in a crowd at the supermarket having lost her mother and a picture of a boy being bullied by a group of older boys in the playground. Once the pupils have completed this activity sheet it may be helpful to allocate some additional time so that they can compare notes with a partner or a smaller group, how would their responses different and similar, do they have a range of strategies that might be useful if they were to encounter such difficulties themselves in the future.

Self-reflection Activity – A Frantic moment In this activity the pupils are asked to think about a time when they felt really frantic. What was it that was happening and how did they look, feel and react? What was it that other people did in response to their behaviours? They are asked to draw their own frantic face in the portrait frame provided and then to complete a series of labels around this. The final part of the activity asks the pupils to focus on future events and occasions. If the same situation were to happen again, how could they now stay calmer, what strategies could they use and who could help them? They are asked to work with a partner in order to formulate a best plan, identifying (a) the triggers to their frantic feelings, (b) ways to avoid them, (c) specific calming strategies and (d) to make a plan and agree what they will do in future. It is important to focus on the joint problem-solving aspect of this activity. Working with a friend or partner can be very useful. It is important that we listen to each other’s ideas, that we respect them and that we take them on board and assimilate them if we think they may be helpful to us.

Take Home Task – What makes us frantic? This activity encourages the pupils to consider when they experience frantic feelings and to then identify how they can cope more effectively with such situations and emotions. The important thing is for individuals to be able to identify their own triggers and to then be able to work out some helpful strategies in order to calm down. The pupils are asked to work with a friend or family member in order to identify personal triggers to frantic feelings and coping strategies that may be helpful. These strategies may be different for each individual but there may also be similarities in them. It may also be an interesting exercise in terms of highlighting the similarities between the kinds of situations that cause both parties to experience this feeling.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling frantic in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves?


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4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can paint pictures to illustrate this feeling. These may involve the use of images of volcanoes, hurricanes and storms and the use of appropriate colours and textures. 4 Pupils can read ‘The Bad Tempered Lady Bird’ by Eric Carle (1982 Picture Puffin), which is the story of the bad tempered ladybird who thinks he is bigger and better than anyone else. The ladybird has no intention of sharing and is willing to fight for what he believes belongs just to him. This story can be used to focus upon how feeling frantic, angry and upset can lead to negative consequences and some level of panic, i.e. the feeling of being unable to control oneself. Pupils may like to design their own picture stories and show how their central character becomes increasingly frantic as events in the story unfold. 4 Pupils can make a list identifying their own triggers to feeling frantic. They can then further consider ways and strategies to avoid and manage these triggers. It may be useful to feed these back to the whole group and to highlight the most useful and helpful methods and techniques. 4 Pupils can make use of the Traffic Light Method to solve the following problem – your friend hates going swimming. She is absolutely petrified of taking her feet off the bottom of the pool. Every Thursday morning when it’s swimming, she gets into a really frantic state. It has got so bad that last week she hid in the toilets for the whole of the swimming lesson and then got detention because the teachers were furious with her. How can you help? What can you do? Use the Traffic Light Method and try to work out a solution to this problem.


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Feeling Guilty Feeling guilty is when you know you have done or said something wrong and you feel remorse for your behaviour afterwards.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Guilty Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Guilty Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Guilty Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . A Guilty Conscience? Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Guilty Feelings


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Lesson 30: Feeling Guilty Warm up Activity Shopping Game In this game the pupils can be seated as for a circle time. The teacher can begin with the sentence: I went shopping and I bought… This sentence can then be passed around the circle with each pupil adding on another item. For example, ‘I went shopping and I bought a tin of baked beans’. The next person in the circle would say, ‘I went shopping and I bought a tin of baked beans and a ham sandwich’. The next person would say, ‘I went shopping and I bought a tin of baked beans, a ham sandwich and a microwave oven’, etc. This is clearly a test of memory and the pupils should be encouraged to use visualisation strategies or other means by which to remember each of the items. Pupils should also think about ways in which they could support each other non-verbally in order to remember items should someone become stuck or confused. The idea here is to be able to complete a whole circle.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger them to feel frantic? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger other people to experience this feeling? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of responding to such triggers in the future? The Feeling Guilty poster can be used to initially introduce this feeling to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Guilty is when you know that you have done or said something wrong and you feel remorse for your behaviour or words. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling guilty mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think?


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4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do you think other people show they are feeling guilty? 4 Do some of these feelings and experiences last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling guilty? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why was Tom so nervous at the start of this story? 2. What did Tom’s Mum mean when she said it was ‘fate’? 3. Who else was going to try for the team? 4. What was Mr Jones keen on? 5. Had all the children got the right kit? 6. Why did Tom go back into the hall? 7. What do you think he was thinking and feeling when he took Sid’s trainers and hid them? 8. Why could Tom not look at his friends when he got back into class? 9. What happened to Sid in the hall during the trials? 10. Why do you think that Tom didn’t play well? 11. Do you think he can be Sid’s friend in the future? If so, how? If not, why not? 12. Is there any way that Tom can sort this out now?

Act it out! The teacher can remind the pupils of the story up to the Stop Hand. He/she can re-read the story to this point if necessary/time allows. The pupils can then act this story until they get to the Stop Hand. They can then try to work out a better ending for Tom and his friends. What should he have done at this point in order to achieve the best possible outcome? How could he have avoided these feelings of guilt? What could he have done instead? They can try to work out how he can cope with his need to be in the football team and the fact that he may fail in his attempts.

Activity Sheet: Feeling Guilty The pupils are asked to read a series of statements in order to identify which situation would induce them to feel most guilty and which situation would make them feel the least guilty. The statements need to be cut out and then placed in order. The children can then discuss their ranking with a friend or partner and see if they agree, identifying the reasons for any agreement or disagreement. The statements include the following: you tell your teacher that you lost your homework when you just didn’t do it, you copy a friend’s work, you cheat in a game and then win it, you steal some sweets from a shop, you hit your little brother because he irritates you etc. What is important here is to encourage


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the pupils to think about how they might also move forward from feeling this way, what could they do to make amends and how could they sort out the situation. Guilt can be a useful feeling if it prompts us to change our behaviours.

Self-reflection activity: A Guilty conscience In this activity the pupils are asked to consider how they would look and respond to others when they feel guilty about something. They are asked to draw a self-portrait in the photo frame provided and then to consider all the things that they may have felt guilty about in the past, both in the home and school context. These can be recorded around the photo frame in the thought-storming chart provided. The second part of the self-reflection activity requires the pupils to answer a series of questions on the reverse of the sheet. These are as follows: 4 What made you feel the most and the least guilty? 4 Did your guilty feelings prompt you to make amends? 4 How uncomfortable are these feelings? 4 How can you avoid feeling this way in the future? An important point to highlight here is the fact that guilt, like anger and fear, can be a useful feeling albeit uncomfortable. If we feel guilty, this is very often a prompt to change our behaviours and a nudge in the right direction. We need to be able to see it in this positive light if we are then to consider ways of moving forward and modifying our behaviours in the future.

Take Home task – Guilty Feelings In this activity the pupils are asked to read through a series of post-it notes and to work out why each individual described may feel guilty. What is it that they’ve done? Who has it affected? They are asked to discuss their ideas with a friend or family member and to see if they can come to some agreement. The statements include the following: 4 I feel guilty because I stole money from my mum’s purse. 4 I feel guilty because I cheated on my girlfriend and now I don’t want the other girl. 4 I feel guilty because I nicked some sweets from Mr Jones’ shop. 4 I feel guilty because I hate my little sister. 4 I feel guilty because I’ve been smoking. 4 I feel guilty because I hit my little brother. 4 I feel guilty because I killed my friend’s pet rabbit. 4 I feel guilty because my friend’s mum has left home and she’s upset but I’m glad, as I didn’t like her mum, etc. There is a final reflection activity in which those engaged in the task are asked to consider a series of questions as follows: 4 Should some people feel guiltier than others? If not, why not? 4 What advice would you give to each person? Can you agree? It’s important that sufficient time is spent on this activity so that both individuals can really think about each of the situations and attempt to formulate the most useful advice. The idea here is to reinforce the fact that even though a situation may seem particularly bad, there is usually a way forward if people are prepared to motivate themselves and effect a change.


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Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling guilty in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can collect newspaper accounts detailing a variety of different crimes. They can consider why these crimes were committed and how both the victim and the perpetrator may or may not have been feeling before, during and after the events. These can be presented as short essays which can then be shared with the whole class. 4 Guilt is an extremely useful emotion as it can prompt us to perform tasks to make amends and put things right. Pupils can write poems on the theme of making amends. 4 Pupils can devise a guilt list which includes all the different situations and actions which might lead them to experience this feeling. These could include the following: stealing, lying, being unkind, getting someone else in trouble etc. These can be presented as illustrated lists and perhaps in the form of ‘rules for life’. 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light Method to solve the following problem – your friend is feeling guilty because every week when he goes to visit his Mum he tells her that he doesn’t have any money because his Dad doesn’t give him pocket money. She gives him £10. However, he is lying because his Dad always gives him money as well.Now he feels really guilty as he’s been lying to both of them and taking money from them both. Can you help him with this situation? What do you think you could do? Use the Traffic Light Method and try to work out a solution to this problem. 4 Pupils can reflect upon a time when they felt guilty about something or a situation that is more current and causing them to experience this uncomfortable feeling. They can make use of the Emotions Scale format In the Appendix In order to Improve the situation and move forward.


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Feeling Homesick Feeling homesick is when you feel sad or depressed because you are not at home and you miss it very much.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Homesick Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Homesick Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Homesick Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . Missing Home Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Our Homes


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Lesson 31: Feeling Homesick Warm up Activity Tangled Web This activity requires a ball of wool and, once again, involves all the pupils sitting in a circle. One pupil is given the ball of wool by the teacher and told to throw it to someone they have a connection with, whilst simultaneously holding the end of the wool and saying what that connection is. The connection can be anything from someone having the same colour hair, living in the same road, going to the same club, etc. The recipient grabs hold of the wool so that it forms a bridge between themselves and the person who has thrown it. They then throw the ball of wool to someone else, identifying a new or different connection. This is a very visual and striking demonstration of the ways in which we are all linked and connected to one another. It highlights similarities and differences and reminds the pupils of the need to, and the importance of, valuing diversity.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger them to feel guilty? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger other people to experience this feeling? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of responding to such triggers in the future? The Feeling Homesick poster can be used to initially introduce this feeling to the children. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Homesick is when you feel sad or depressed because you are not at home and you miss it. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling homesick mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think?


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4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do you think other people show they are feeling homesick? 4 Do some of these feelings and experiences last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling homesick? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why was Janice so excited at the start of the story? 2. Who was she going to visit? 3. Why would the air stewardess have to take special care of Janice on the plane? 4. How was the village in Scotland different to London? 5. Why were the children allowed to play out late in the village? 6. When did Janice start to feel uneasy and uncomfortable? 7. What did Bonnie’s Mum feel the problem was at this point? 8. Why did Janice not say that she got sea-sick? 9. What do you think she could have said to Bonnie’s father when she went downstairs? 10. How do you think that Bonnie would feel at the end of this story?

Act it out! The teacher can remind the pupils of the story up to the Stop Hand. He/she can re-read the story to this point if necessary/time allows. The pupils can then act this story until they get to the Stop Hand. They can then try to work out a better ending for Janice. What could she have done and said at this point in order to cope more effectively with her feelings of home-sickness? Could she have helped herself in any way? They will need to think very carefully about what she could say and how others might be able to support her.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Homesick People often feel homesick and this can be quite a difficult feeling to cope with particularly when they are unable to go back to their homes. The pupils are here presented with a series of pictures in which the individuals concerned are clearly homesick but unable to return to their homes. They are asked to consider how other people might be able to help them and what they could do in order to help themselves. It is helpful to allocate time for discussion here so that the pupils can work together recording their ideas on the chart provided. It is also important here to reinforce the fact that for some people such as refugees, returning home to an unsafe environment is simply not an option. This will be a useful opportunity in terms of dispelling any myths or stereotypes around refugees in particular. The illustrations and scenarios include the following: a refugee from Somalia, a child who’s moved because her father has a new job, a child who has just started secondary school and a child who’s moved homes to live with his mother and her new partner.


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Self-reflection activity – Missing Home In this activity the pupils are asked to consider a time when they felt home sick. What was it that they missed and how did they cope with those feelings at the time? They are asked to complete a series of sentence starters as follows: 4 I felt homesick then … 4 I wished for … 4 It made my body feel … 4 It hurt because … 4 I was or wasn’t able to cope because … They are finally asked to formulate a positive plan, working with a partner to think about how they might cope better with this feeling in the future. This may involve taking something special with them, access to text or email to specific family or friends or keeping a log or diary of some kind. The pupils are asked to discuss together what would actually work for them and also to think about why it might work for them. They are asked to record their ideas in the ideas box provided. It may be useful to allocate some time for feeding back these ideas and highlighting similarities and differences in the children’s responses.

Take Home Task – Our Homes In this activity the pupils are asked to consider what they might miss about their home if they had to go away from it for any length of time. They are asked to discuss their thoughts, feelings and ideas with a friend or family member and to then complete a list of the ten things I’d miss the most. It may be helpful to consider people, objects, special rooms and times etc. They are then asked to consider what things both of them would miss to identify any similarities and differences.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling homesick in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can design and write postcards from various places around the world that they may or may not have visited. They can focus on differences and how they can deal with these when they are away from home. 4 Pupils can read Daisy Rabbit’s Tree House by Penny Dale (Walker books 1995). This story describes how Daisy Rabbit loves to visit her friends but always feels homesick if she stays the night. It is a useful book to prompt discussion as to how to cope with lonely feelings and homesickness.


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4 Pupils can devise their own self-help lists for coping with homesickness. It may be helpful for pupils to work in pairs or small groups on this activity and to brainstorm and record their ideas and strategies. It may also be useful for pupils to then complete the Good Group work format found In the Appendix in order to determine how well they worked together on this activity. 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light Method to solve the following problem – you have invited six of your best friends over for a birthday treat. You are going to a theme park and then having a sleepover. Unfortunately, your best friend has said that she doesn’t want to come because she gets homesick so won’t be able to stay over. You feel a little bit upset by this but you are also worried about your friend. Can you help? What do you think you could do? Use the Traffic Light Method and try to work out a solution to this problem. 4 Pupils can listen to the 2nd movement of Beethoven’s piano sonata op.81 and discuss why and how this music might be descriptive of feeling homesick.


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Feeling Helpful Feeling helpful is when you make something easier, better or quicker for someone else and you really improve the situation by what you do!

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Helpful Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Helpful Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Helpful Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . Being Helpful Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Helping Hands


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Lesson 32: Feeling Helpful Warm up activity The Dice Game A large, spotted 1 – 6 dice is required for this game. The teacher can choose one pupil to be in the centre of the circle. The remaining pupils are numbered 1 – 6 around the circle. The pupil in the centre then rolls the dice. All the pupils with the numbers shown on the dice then change places. The pupil in the centre tries to sit in an unoccupied seat during the changeover and, if successful, takes on that number. The pupil without the place goes into the centre in order to roll the dice and the game continues.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that might trigger them to feel homesick? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger other people to experience this feeling? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of responding to such triggers in the future? The Feeling Helpful poster can be used to initially introduce this feeling to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Helpful is when you make something easier, better or quicker for someone else and you really improve the situation by what you do. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling helpful mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful?


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4 How do you think other people show they are feeling helpful? 4 Do some of these feelings and experiences last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling or being unhelpful? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why had Lisa got a good report? 2. Why were her Mum and Dad so pleased? 3. What was her Dad going to get her as a reward? 4. Why was Mikey pleased to have been chosen to give out the Maths activity sheets? 5. Why did Lisa like the Literacy Hour so much? 6. What did Mikey find difficult? 7. How did Lisa decide to be helpful to Mikey? 8. Why do you think Mr Ray thought that this was unhelpful? 9. Do you think that Lisa was right to be angry? If so, why? If not, why not? 10. What do you think will happen next?

Act it out! The teacher can remind the pupils of the story up to the Stop Hand. He/she can Re-read the story to this point if necessary/time allows. The pupils can then act the story until they get to the Stop Hand. They can then try to work out a better ending for Lisa and her friends. What do they think that the children could or should have said to Mr Ray? How could they have behaved in order to achieve a better outcome? How could Lisa have controlled her feelings of anger, embarrassment and shame? They can try to work out a conversation between the children and their teacher so that this problem can be sorted out. What is most important is that all the characters say how they feel and what they want to happen in an assertive and calm manner.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Helpful In this activity the pupils are asked to consider all the different things that they can and do in order to be helpful to others. They are asked to share their ideas with a partner and highlight any similarities or differences in their responses. If they do think that different activities and behaviours are more helpful than others and they don’t agree with each other then it will be important to identify why this may be the case. For example it may be the case that in one particular family tidying up and doing the washingup is expected whereas in another family it may be that simply tidying up your own room or space is considered to be helpful. What is important is that the pupils are sensitive to such differences and do not perceive themselves or their own cultural backgrounds to be superior to those of other members of their peer group.


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Self-reflection Activity – Being Helpful In this activity the pupils are asked to consider and reflect upon a time when they knew that they were really helpful to someone else. What was it that they did? How did this make them feel and how did it make the other person feel? They are asked to illustrate the chart and answer the following questions: 4 What did you do? 4 What did you say? 4 How did you feel? 4 What did you think? 4 How did the other person feel? 4 How did you feel after you’d been helpful? 4 Would you do the same thing again? If so, why? If not, why not? Finally, the pupils are asked to look to the future, answering a series of questions which they can talk through with a partner. These are as follows: 4 When do others need you to be helpful? 4 What can you do in the future to support them? 4 Do you think this is a good idea? If so, set yourself some helpful targets? 4 Who are you going to help – when, where and how? The idea here is to reinforce the importance of pro-social behaviours, empathising with others and supporting others in order to develop and maintain positive relationships. Without such relationships, we are at risk of developing feelings of isolation and problems with our mental wellbeing in later life.

Take Home Task – Helping Hands In this activity the pupils are asked to work with a friend or a significant adult in the home context in order to identify what they can do to help each other. They are asked to consider the skills that they have that might be useful and to specifically think about things they can do in order to make each other feel good, happy and loved. Ideas can be recorded in the two thought-storm charts provided on the activity sheet. It will be interesting to consider the similarities and differences in responses. This can also be a helpful opportunity for a child to work with an adult in the home context in order to further identify the kind of support that they really need in order to feel comfortable, secure and to make progress both socially and academically.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling helpful in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been?


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Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can consider ways in which they can help others in a range of contexts. They can record their ideas in the form of illustrated lists. These could include how I can help at home, at school, my friends, in the community, my neighbour and myself. 4 Pupils can discuss the notion of citizenship and what makes a good citizen, e.g. taking responsibility, not committing anti-social acts, caring for the environment and for people in the community etc. Pupils can design posters on this theme. 4 Pupils can create a collage of jobs that people do in the community, highlighting the consequences of each job that has not been done for some reason. Pupils could contribute an illustration or photograph and a short piece of writing under three headings: the job, the main tasks and responsibilities and what would happen if? 4 It may be useful to create a ‘helpful board’ which can highlight pupils’ efforts and achievements on a weekly basis. 4 Pupils can design certificates and badges to celebrate helpful acts that they have seen. 4 Pupils can make use of the Traffic Light Method to solve the following problem - You are always doing jobs around the house to help your Mum but you are getting fed up with your brother because he doesn’t do anything. In fact, he doesn’t even clean up his own mess, let alone offer to help anyone else. You are feeling fed up with the situation. What can you do and say to sort it out?


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Feeling Impatient Feeling impatient is when you get irritable at any delay or difficulty. You may feel restless because you need to do something or get a result straight away.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Impatient Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Impatient Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Impatient Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Who’s Impatient Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . Put-Downs Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . An Impatient Moment


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Lesson 33: Feeling Impatient Warm up Activity Copy the Leader In this game the pupils are seated in a circle and the teacher identifies a leader. The leader then starts off a simple movement. The pupils are asked to copy the movement and once they’ve achieved this, the leader adds on another movement. This continues until the movements are far too complex for the pupils to remember. This task can be varied by sending one or two pupils out of the room when the leader is being selected. When these pupils re-enter, their task is then to identify which pupil is actually leading the group.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that might trigger them to feel helpful? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger other people to experience this feeling? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of responding to such triggers in the future? The Feeling Impatient poster can be used to initially introduce this feeling to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Impatient is when you get irritable at any delay or difficulty or when you feel restless because you know you need to do something straight away. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling impatient mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful?


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Lesson 33: Feeling Impatient

4 How do you think other people show they are feeling impatient? 4 Do some of these feelings and experiences last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling or being impatient? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. What was being planned for Year 6 and why? 2. What was the prize going to be for winning the quiz? 3. What did Germaine say he couldn’t answer questions on? 4. What did Mrs Hammond mean when she suggested they needed to work together as a team? 5. Why did Clare know so much about music? 6. How did Daniel respond when she couldn’t answer the first question? 7. How do you think Clare felt at this point? 8. Why did Daniel shake Clare and what do you think of his behaviour? 9. How do you think the rest of the class felt when Daniel behaved in this way? 10. What do you think will happen next? Do you think Daniel can sort this out now?

Act it out! The teacher can remind the pupils of the story up to the Stop Hand. He/she can re-read the story to this point if necessary/time allows. The pupils can then act the story until they get to the Stop Hand. They can then try to work out a better ending for Daniel and his team. What could Daniel have done in order to support Clare? Could he have remained calm and consequently prevented her from feeling so nervous? They can try to work out the conversation between the group of children so that they can sort out this problem and work together more as a team.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Impatient In this activity the pupils are presented with two sides to a story. Josie gets angry, upset and impatient with her mum but her mum feels exactly the same way about her. They have both written letters which the pupils are asked to read and then discuss with a partner. They are then asked to write back and give helpful advice to both individuals. Josie’s perspective is that her mother’s nagging her permanently and that she is also very impatient with her expecting her to do everything straight away, whereas Josie’s mum Marion gets impatient and upset with Josie because she has to ask her to do everything at least six times before she even thinks about doing it. The idea here is to encourage pupils to see that there usually are two sides to every story and that in order to create a win/win situation it is very often important that both people concerned to compromise to some extent.

Self-reflection Activity – An Impatient Moment In this activity the pupils are asked to identify a time when they felt impatient with someone else, what happened and what did their feelings lead to? Was it anger and conflict or was it something more positive? They are asked to compile a brief description and to think about whether or not they


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could have responded differently in this situation. Finally, they are presented with an acrostic poem entitled: ‘Be Patient’. This poem provides them with a strategy for coping more effectively with impatient moments and feelings. They are asked to read through this and to try it out. Alternatively, they are also asked to make up their own poem or script in order to cope more effectively with this feeling. The poem is as follows: Be calm and take a deep breath. Explain it to yourself what is happening. Plan what should you do. Apologise. Take time to say how you feel. Initiate a conversation. Expect and encourage the other person to talk. Notice and listen to what they say. Team up to find an okay solution that makes you both feel good.

Take Home Task – Who’s impatient? In this activity the pupils are asked to read through a series of post-it notes. They are required to identify why each person described is feeling impatient. They are then asked to consider whether or not they are right to feel this way. The children can work with a friend or family member in order to see if they can come to some agreement regarding each of the characters described. These include the following: 4 Janet was feeling impatient with her friend Toni because Toni can’t play the same games outside as she has got cerebral palsy. 4 Mr Hamid is feeling impatient with his son, Amin, because he can’t remember his spellings. 4 Emma is feeling impatient with her mum because her mum is always late in the morning and this makes Emma late for school, etc. The pupils are then asked to problem-solve with their friend or family member in order to identify what advice they would give to each person in order to help them cope with these situations and feelings more effectively. These ideas can be recorded on the back of the activity sheet. Alternatively, those involved may wish to simply discuss the solutions that they identify. What is important here is to emphasise the fact that although a situation can seem extremely negative, there is usually a way forward if people are prepared to talk to each other, compromise and make some changes in their own behaviours or contexts.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling impatient in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been?


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Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can read the story The Witch in the Cherry Tree by Margaret Mahy (Picture Puffin 1987), which tells how the witch longs for fresh cakes. When she can’t get her hands on one, she becomes absolutely furious and very impatient. 4 Pupils can write their own stories about a character who becomes impatient and angry and consequently does not gain a good outcome for themselves or those around them. 4 Pupils can devise lists entitled ‘Things that make me feel impatient’, then consider how they can avoid such triggers or how to cope more effectively with this feeling. It may be useful for pupils to have an opportunity to share their ideas and for the teacher to highlight the most positive and useful strategies. 4 Pupils can design posters on the theme of ‘patience is a virtue’. 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light method to solve the following problem – your friend finds number work extremely difficult. The problem is that he never understands anything straightaway and needs the teacher to explain it three or four times at least. Unfortunately, his teacher seems to get impatient when he asks and your friend has now become too frightened to say that he doesn’t understand. Is there anything that you can do to help? What do you think you could do? Use the Traffic Light Method and try to work out a solution to this problem. 4 Pupils can listen to the Schubert song ‘Ungeduld’. The songs title literally translates as ‘Impatience’. They can discuss why and how the composer has managed to capture this feeling so well in this song.


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Feeling Inferior Feeling inferior is when you feel that you are not as good as other people and that you are ‘lower’ in terms of position or status.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Inferior Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Inferior Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Inferior Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . Inferiority Complex


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Lesson 34: Feeling Inferior Warm up Activity Touch Down In this activity the pupils are asked to form pairs. The teacher then calls out a number. The pupils’ task here is to have the equivalent number of points (hands, elbows, feet, knees) touching the floor. The last pupil to touch down with the right number of points is out. The process is continued until there is an outright winner. The pupils can form groups of three, four or five in order to make this task more difficult for them.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that might trigger them to feel impatient? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger other people to experience this feeling? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of responding to such triggers in the future? The Feeling Inferior poster can be used to initially introduce this feeling to the pupils The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Inferior is when you feel that you are not as good as other people and that you are ‘lower’ in terms of position or status. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling inferior mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do you think other people show they are feeling inferior?


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4 Do some of these feelings and experiences last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling inferior? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why didn’t Alison want to go to school? 2. Why did all the children love Miss Cummings? 3. Why did Miss Cummings tell the children their results first? 4. How did Jason and Sam try to help Allison? 5. Why did Alison say that it was okay for them? 6. How did Alison feel when she saw her results? 7. What did Miss Cummings tell her about her work? 8. What made the situation even worse after school? 9. What do you think Alison’s Mum was thinking and feeling when she spoke to the other parent? 10. Do you think that Alison was right to feel like this? If so, why? If not, why not?

Act it out! The teacher can remind the pupils of the story up to the Stop Hand. He/she can re-read the story to this point if necessary/time allows. The pupils can then act the story until they get to the Stop Hand. They can then try to work out a better ending for Allison. Would it have helped if she’d explained her feelings to her parents? What could she have said and how? They can try to work out the conversation between Allison and her parents. How can her parents ensure that she feels loved and valued? How can they help her to overcome her feelings of inferiority?

Activity Sheet – Feeling Inferior In this activity the pupils are presented with a series of pictures. Individuals depicted all feel inferior for a variety of reasons. The pupils are asked to identify what’s happening to each of the characters and to write their responses in the boxes below the pictures. The illustrations include the following: a little boy being told off by his teacher for not doing well in his work, a girl watching her friend winning a dancing competition, a poor tramp watching as two rich people drive past in their Mercedes, a man in an old car looking longingly at a man in a brand new sports car, a small child looking up at a group of his classmates who are all much taller than he is, a little boy coming last in a race on sports day. Once the pupils have identified why each of these individuals might feel inferior they are then asked to reflect further and discuss with a partner a series of questions as follows: are they right to feel inferior, what could they do in order to stop themselves feeling this way, how do you think other people could help them.

Self-reflection Activity – Put-Downs In this activity the pupils are asked to consider how they can often be made to feel insecure or inferior because other people direct ‘put downs’ towards them. They are asked to identify which put downs


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they have experienced and how they felt when they were on the receiving end of such treatment. They are then required to engage in a turn-it-around activity. It is important that they understand the need to be prepared for put downs. Sometimes people don’t mean to use them. They can often not be aware that they are doing it. Sometimes people feel bad and they simply want to take out their bad feelings on others. The pupils need to know that they can be ready with assertive ‘I’ messages or statements in order to combat such put downs. For example, if a teacher turns round to them and says, ‘Your handwriting is scruffy – it’s a bit like you really’, the children can be ready with an assertive, polite and strong response as follows: ‘I think you’re being unfair when you say that as I have tried hard with my writing and it makes me feel sad when you are not kind to me’. The idea here is to focus on encouraging the pupils to let others know how they feel so that they don’t hold on to negative and uncomfortable feelings for any longer than they need to. The pupils are asked to work with a partner to formulate an assertive ‘I’ statement for each of the negative comments they’ve recorded. They can then take the opportunity to practise these, perhaps in front of their mirror at home or, alternatively, additional time may be allocated to some role-play here. It is important that we have scripts ready in our head to use when we encounter difficult situations. This is a powerful means of combating not only put downs but any negative situation and emotion that we may encounter on a daily basis.

Take Home Task – Inferiority Complex In this activity the pupils are asked to consider whether or not they can help a little girl called Jo. She is feeling very sad, angry and fed up because she feels that everyone else in her class finds work easier than she does. She is aware or feels that she will never be as clever, as pretty or as popular as the other girls in her class. The pupils are asked to work with a friend or a family member in order to write a helpful note to Jo. They are asked to consider the kinds of things that she might be able to do in order to stop herself feeling so negative and inferior. It will also be useful for those involved to consider times when they felt like this and to identify ways that they were able to cope more effectively with such feelings. Who helped them? How did they help them and why? The response can be completed jointly and it will be important to allow sufficient time for discussion here. What is important to remember is that we can all experience such feelings for various reasons at different points in our lives? What is essential is that we know how to get ourselves out of such negative cycles and patterns of behaviour and we also know who can help us and support us in this process.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling inferior in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?


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Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can focus on the importance of valuing themselves for who they are and for their beliefs, skills and values. It may be useful to design or make books entitled ‘All about me’ which include photographs, descriptions of important events, writing about family, friends, self-portraits etc. 4 It may be helpful to make use of Circle Time sessions in order to produce a ‘Golden Scroll’ for each pupil in the class. Each pupil formulates and articulates a positive message, thought or feeling about the focus pupil. These are recorded on the Golden Scroll which is then awarded to that individual pupil. 4 Pupils can think of ways in which everyone in the class can be rewarded – not simply for academic achievement, but for acts of kindness, empathy or helpfulness in the class or school context. They can design special badges, stickers and certificates (Lucky Duck Publishing has a book of non-competitive photocopiable certificates entitled ‘Celebrations’ which could be used as a prompt/inspiration). 4 Pupils can read Sam’s Worries by Maryann MacDonald and Susan Varley (ABC 1995).This story shows how Sam worries about absolutely everything. His Mother tries to reassure him but talking to his bear is what actually helps him in the end. This is a useful book for emphasising the importance of discussing your worries or more uncomfortable feelings. 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light Method to solve the following problem – you overheard your Dad saying that you were not as clever as your older brother or sister. You feel upset, angry and hurt. He has made you feel as if you are inferior and you don’t know if you can forgive him for this. How can this situation be sorted out? What can you do? How can you now approach your Dad? Use the Traffic Light Method to try to work out a solution to this problem. 4 Pupils can imagine that they have a test tomorrow and that they are feeling very worried about it. They can make use of the Problem Page format to describe this problem and how they feel about it and then work together in smaller groups to devise and write down an answer to the problem. One pupil can act as a scribe for the group’s ideas.


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Feeling Loyal Feeling loyal is when you are faithful to your friends, your family or the leaders of your country.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Loyal Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Loyal Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Loyal Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . A Loyal Occasion Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Loyalty Is…


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Lesson 35: Feeling Loyal Warm up Activity On the Ball For this activity the teacher will need to have gathered a soft ball and some music and a tape or CD player. The pupils are asked to sit in a circle and while the music plays, they pass the softball from pupil to pupil around the circle. The pupil who was holding the ball when the music stops must then name a vegetable. This is continued until the pupils have exhausted their knowledge of relevant names. This can also be repeated with other categories such as animals, occupations or food, etc. It can also be made more complicated by playing the game alphabetically so that each item named begins with the next letter of the alphabet. However, it might be useful to agree to leave out the very difficult letters prior to starting the game.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that might trigger them to feel inferior? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger other people to experience this feeling? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of responding to such triggers in the future? The Feeling Loyal poster can be used to initially introduce this feeling to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Loyal is when you are faithful to your friends, your family or the leaders of your country. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the children’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling loyal mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling?


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4 Is it useful? 4 How do you think other people show they are feeling loyal? 4 Do some of these feelings and experiences last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling or being disloyal? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why did the children like the swimming instructor? 2. Why had they formed their gang in the first place? 3. What did being ‘loyal’ mean for this gang? 4. Why was today’s lesson so special? 5. Why was Jade worried at the start of the swimming gala? 6. Why did Michael think that they were bound to win? 7. Why was Jade slower at the start of the race? 8. What did Anna mean when she said that Jade had sabotaged their chances? 9. Why was Alex so angry with Anna and Michael? 10. Who do you think was really loyal? 11. What do you think might happen next? 12. How would you deal with this situation in order to achieve a better outcome for the friends?

Act it out! The teacher can remind the pupils of the story up to the Stop Hand. He/she can re-read the story to this point if necessary/time allows. The pupils can then act the story until they get to the Stop Hand. It is obvious that Jade is extremely upset at this point. However, Anna and Michael are also very angry and Alex is upset as they seem to be losing. How can Jade convince them that she has been trying her best? What would help Anna and Michael cope better with their frustration? The pupils can try to work out how they might show more understanding of each other’s feelings and be able to deal more effectively with their own.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Loyal In this activity the pupils are asked to consider how we show loyalty to our friends and those we care about. They are asked to discuss their ideas with a partner or within the context of a smaller group and then to record them on the list provided. The list is entitled ‘10 ways to be loyal’. During the discussion period it should be possible for the pupils to consider further the nature of loyalty and to also identify specific behaviours that they would not consider to fall in to this category.


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Self-reflection activity – A Loyal Occasion In this activity the pupils are asked to complete a questionnaire as follows: 4 When were you really loyal to a friend? 4 What did you do and why? 4 Did you feel worried about showing your loyalty? 4 How did your friend respond? 4 How did you feel at the time? 4 What did you think and feel afterwards? 4 Do you think this made you better friends? 4 When might you have difficulty in being loyal to a friend? 4 What would you do? 4 How would you cope? 4 How would you prevent a conflict? The pupils are asked to talk through their ideas with a partner, sharing the responses that they have given to the questions. They are asked to identify any similarities or differences and to attempt to agree on strategies that they would both use to remain loyal and prevent conflict in the future.

Take Home Task – Loyalty is… In this activity the pupils are asked to work with a friend or family member in order to define this notion of loyalty. What does loyalty or being loyal mean to you? Do we all agree on what makes someone loyal? The pupils can discuss their ideas and responses to these questions with their friend or family member and then record them on the brain-storming chart provided. Finally, they can consider why some people sometimes stop being loyal to others. What is it that might influence them and what might influence you in a similar situation? This is quite a tricky concept but it may be useful to consider, for example, why we may stop feeling loyal or show allegiance to a specific political party. It is usually because someone has done something that we don’t agree with or we feel does not sit right with our own viewpoint or set of personal beliefs. It may also be because someone has bullied or hurt us. What is important is to identify the reasons for a change in loyalty and also whether or not these are rational and sound.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling loyal in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?


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Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can write acrostic poems on the theme of loyalty and friendship after brainstorming all the different attributes of a loyal friend. 4 Pupils may wish to write their own personal statement of loyalty, which reflects their own feelings, beliefs and allegiances. It will be important to acknowledge differences and to promote the importance of valuing and respecting such differences. 4 Pupils may wish to consider when it would not be right to remain loyal to someone or something. This could be a useful brainstorming activity for a small group or whole-class session. 4 Pupils can read Black Dog by Pamela Allen (Puffin 1994).This story describes how Christina and Black Dog are best friends. However, one day Christina’s heart is captured by a strange and wonderful bird and it appears that poor Black Dog is forgotten. He subsequently risks his own life in an effort to show Christina that he still loves her. This is a useful resource for prompting discussion around the concept of loyalty. Pupils may wish to make up their own fairy tale on this theme. 4 Pupils can listen to the friendship duet from Act 2 of Verdi’s opera ‘Don Carlos’. What is it about the music that highlights the importance of loyalty and friendship? What piece of music do they know that also does this in a really meaningful way? They may wish to build up a collection of friendship songs and music.


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Feeling Misunderstood Feeling misunderstood is when you feel that others do not understand you or misinterpret what you have said or done!

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Misunderstood Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Misunderstood Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Misunderstood Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . . Misunderstood Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Misunderstood?


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Lesson 36: Feeling Misunderstood Warm up Activity Number Change In this activity the teacher numbers each pupil in the circle as well as themselves. The facilitator then removes their own chair and stands in the centre of the circle prior to calling out two numbers. The pupils who have been allocated those numbers have to get up and change seats. The teacher then aims to steal one of the vacant chairs in order to leave one of the pupils without a seat. The pupil who is now standing shouts out two further numbers and, again, the pupils are required to change seats. This is continued until the whole group is mixed.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that might trigger them to feel loyal? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger other people to experience this feeling? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of responding to such triggers in the future? The Feeling Misunderstood poster can be used to initially introduce this feeling to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Misunderstood is when you feel that others do not understand you or misinterpret what you’ve said or done. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling misunderstood mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful?


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4 How do you think other people show they are feeling misunderstood? 4 Do some of these feelings and experiences last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling or being misunderstood? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why did Mr Jones think it was important for children to have different jobs each week? 2. What kind of jobs could the children do? 3. Which was considered to be the best job and why? 4. Why did Jonathan’s Mum laugh when he told her about his job? 5. Do you think that she realised that she’d hurt his feelings? 6. How did this make Jonathan feel? 7. Why did Tammy smirk at Jonathan and what do you think of this behaviour? 8. What do you think Miss Simmons thought when she saw Jonathan looking into her box? 9. Do you think that she was right to make this assumption? Was she being fair? 10. What do you think happened next?

Act it out! The teacher can remind the pupils of the story up to the Stop Hand. He/she can re-read the story to this point if necessary/time allows. The pupils can then act this story until they get to the Stop Hand. It is clear that Jonathan has been misunderstood. Miss Simmons is very angry and thinks that he was going to steal one of her chocolates. What can he say to convince her that he wasn’t? The pupils can try to work out the conversation between them so that Jonathan can get his message across and show that he really wasn’t doing anything wrong.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Misunderstood In this activity the pupils are asked to think about a time when they felt misunderstood. They can also consider a time when someone they know may have experienced this feeling. They are asked to consider what happened and what feelings they now have about this situation. Making notes or discussing their feelings with a partner may help them to accurately recall the situation prior to formulating an acrostic poem.

Self-reflection Activity - Misunderstood In this activity the pupils can think about ways in which it is often easy to misunderstand others. This can lead us to make judgements about them that may not be fair, just or true. If we don’t understand someone’s motivation then it makes sense for us to be able to ask them politely what they mean by their comments, statements or behaviours. This needs to be done in an assertive way; not in an aggressive way. The children are asked to read through a series of situation cards. These can be cut out and then responses can be written on the reverse of each card. Pupils need to identify what they would say


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and do if they thought they had misunderstood the person described. Misunderstandings include the following: 4 You think that someone has just cussed your Mum. 4 You think that someone may not like your religion. 4 You think that someone has blamed you for doing something bad. 4 You think that someone has told a lie about you. 4 You think that someone doesn’t like mixed race children, etc. Once the pupils have worked out their own individual responses and identified what they would say and do, they can then take the opportunity to compare their ideas with a partner or with others within the context of a smaller group. How are they similar or different and can they agree on what would get them the best possible outcome in each situation in the future?

Take Home Task – Misunderstood? In this activity the pupils are asked to look carefully at a series of pictures in order to identify why they think each of the characters described might be misunderstood by others. What is it that’s happening? They are also asked to identify what each of the characters might be able to do differently in order not to feel or be misunderstood. The pupils can work with a friend or family member in order to discuss their thoughts, feelings and ideas and these can be recorded on the chart provided on the activity sheet. Scenarios include: 4 A boy in a shop looking at some sweets and the shopkeeper watching his suspiciously. 4 An older woman tidying up rubbish in her next-door neighbour’s garden. 4 A girl looking at another child’s work admiringly as it is better than her own, and touching the edge of the paper. 4 A boy buying some spray paint from a shop for his art project. 4 An older man helping a little girl and boy who are lost. 4 A young woman running after a boy who has just taken her handbag.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling misunderstood in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 It may be helpful to consider times when children feel that they have been misunderstood, either by friends or by their parents and teachers. They may wish to do this as part of a Circle


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Time activity where rules of anonymity apply and any individuals involved can be protected. What can they do if they feel that adults don’t understand them? Who can help them and who can they talk to? 4 Pupils can consider how frustrating it might feel if you are new to the country and do not speak the language. What must it feel like to be a refugee or to have come from another country to live here and suddenly find yourself in a school where all the children around you cannot communicate with you, i.e. you cannot make yourself understood. How would they communicate with such children? What could they do to help and what tools and strategies would be most appropriate? 4 Pupils could also have access to a teacher of the hearing impaired who could discuss and illustrate signing methods and techniques. It may be useful to learn some signs and consider times and situations in which these could be useful. 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light Method to solve the following problem – you borrowed your friend’s bike without asking him. Unfortunately, your friend reported that his bike was missing to his Mum. She went out to look for the bike and found you. She now thinks that you’re a thief and doesn’t want you to be friends with her son. How can you sort out this situation? What can you do and say in order to make yourself understood? Use the Traffic Light Method and try and work out a solution to this problem.


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Feeling

Possessive Feeling possessive is when you feel that you want all the attention and love of another person and you may want to have control over them.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Possessive Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Possessive Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Possessive Self-Reflection Activity. . . Feeling Possessive Again! Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Possessive


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Lesson 37: Feeling Possessive Warm up Activity Simon Says In this activity the teacher gives a range of instructions for the pupils to follow. For example, 4 put your hands on your head 4 touch your left knee 4 raise your left arm 4 point to the door 4 touch your nose 4 sit down 4 stand up, etc. When the instruction is given with the sentence SIMON SAYS in front of it, then the pupils have to follow the direction. If it doesn’t start with this sentence, the pupils shouldn’t follow the instruction. If a pupil follows an instruction that didn’t start with SIMON SAYS, then they are considered to be out. This is continued until a clear winner is identified.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that might trigger them to feel misunderstood? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger other people to experience this feeling? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of responding to such triggers in the future? The Feeling Possessive poster can be used to initially introduce this feeling to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Possessive is when you feel that you want all the attention and love of another person and you may want to have control over them. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session.


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Lesson 37: Feeling Possessive

The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling possessive mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do you think other people show they are feeling possessive? 4 Do some of these feelings and experiences last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling or being possessive? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why were James and Alec considered to be like twins? 2. What were they both interested in? 3. What was their most unusual hobby? 4. Why did they need more people for the film? 5. Why did Stephen offer his back garden for the filming? 6. Do you think that James felt uncomfortable even at this stage in the story? If so, why? 7. How did James feel when Stephen invited Alec to tea? 8. Why did Alec finally get angry with James? How do you think that Alec felt at this point? 9. What do you think that James will be thinking and feeling as he walks away? 10. Do you think that this situation can be resolved? What needs to happen in order to sort things out?

Act it out! The teacher can remind the pupils of the story up to the Stop Hand. He/she may wish to re-read the story to this point if necessary/time allows. The pupils can then act the story until they get to the Stop Hand. They can try to show how James becomes more and more uncomfortable throughout this scene. How will the others react to him? What will their body language be like and what will they say? The pupils can try to work out how James can control his possessive feelings and keep his friendship with Alec. What should he do and what could he say in order to achieve this goal?

Activity Sheet – Feeling Possessive In this activity the pupils are presented with four problem cards. They are asked to discuss each situation in turn with a partner in order to identify why these people are feeling possessive. They are


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also asked to identify how they are making other people in the situation feel and to then consider what they might be able to do in order to change their behaviours. The problem cards can be cut out and the pupils can write their ideas and responses on the back of each card prior to sharing them within the larger group context. The problem cards include the following scenarios: 4 Michael who is being possessive with his best friend Jason 4 Adile who is being possessive about his toys and computer 4 Cara who is being possessive about her mother 4 Yasmin who is being possessive with her twin sister Alice.

Self-reflection Activity – Feeling Possessive again In this self-reflection activity, the pupils are asked to think about a time when they felt possessive. They are asked to consider the fact that they may have experienced many other emotions before they got to this state of possessiveness. What were their triggers and how much of their behaviour was caused by the way they felt about themselves? If they were feeling particularly down and their levels of selfesteem were low, then they may have been more prone to being possessive with others or with their possessions. The pupils are asked to complete a thought-storming activity in order to identify their triggers to possessive behaviours and responses. The second part of the activity asks them to compare their responses with a partner, identifying similarities or differences. They are also asked to consider what advice they would give to each other in order to avoid these triggers or cope better in the future. The idea here is for the pupils to take on the role of an agony aunt or uncle and it is important that they rationalise their responses, explaining why they think the particular strategy would work for the individual involved.

Take Home Task – Feeling Possessive? The pupils are asked to consider the ways in which we can all feel possessive about other people or things that are special to us at some point in our lives. This is a perfectly natural emotion. The pupils are asked to consider when they last experienced this feeling and to describe how they behaved and identify what the outcome of their behaviour was. The children are asked to work with a friend or family member in order to discuss their ideas before recording them on the two charts provided. They are finally asked to identify what they might do in the future if a similar situation occurred. This is important, as it is all too easy for us to repeat behaviours when we feel as though our emotions have overtaken us. It is necessary for us to use our stop, think and reflect systems in order to problem solve and identify a better way forward. Solution-focused behaviours of this kind are something that we need to continue to develop throughout our lives if we are to remain motivated and make changes that result in positive outcomes.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling possessive in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us?


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4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can make use of the dictionary and thesaurus in order to record a list of words which have the same meaning as the word possessive. 4 Pupils can create illustrated lists detailing people and possessions that they love, treasure and particularly value. How would they feel if these things were taken away from them? What would they do? They might like to consider these questions and work out how they might cope with such eventualities. 4 Pupils can design posters to reinforce the importance of sharing both friends and possessions. 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light Method to solve the following problem – in your gang at school everybody takes turns to sit next to each other in class and to help each other out with work. However, someone new has come into class during the last term and he’s caused lots of problems because he only likes to sit next to one person. He doesn’t like this person to sit anywhere else or to work with anyone else. How can you get him to change his behaviour? How can you explain to him that he can have more than one friend and that friends can be shared with one another? Use the Traffic Light Method and try to work out a solution to this problem. 4 Pupils can focus on the fact that ‘good’ friends try not to be possessive. They can write down all the characteristics of a ‘good’ friend. They can then contribute their ideas to a Friendship wall. Each pupil can complete one brick by writing on it the most significant thing that they think makes a good friend. Spaces can be left between the bricks In the display so that pupils can also Insert photographs or messages to say thank you to each other for being a good friend.


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Feeling Sorry Feeling sorry is when you feel regret or sadness for yourself or for others.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Sorry Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Sorry Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Sorry Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . Being Sorry Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . Show You’re Sorry!


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Lesson 38: Feeling Sorry Warm up Activity Getting in Order In this activity the teacher can ask the pupils to stand in a straight line. They can then be asked to organise themselves into age order. Once this has been achieved, the teacher can check that this has been done correctly. They can then be asked to organise themselves into alphabetical order using their first name and alphabetical order using their last names. Clearly, this can be varied according to the age and ability of the group being targeted. The idea here is to reinforce the importance of using communication skills in order to solve relatively difficult problems.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that might trigger them to feel possessive? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger other people to experience this feeling? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of responding to such triggers in the future? The Feeling Sorry poster can be used to initially introduce this feeling to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling sorry is when you feel regret and sadness for yourself or for others. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling sorry mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling?


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Lesson 38: Feeling Sorry

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4 Is it useful? 4 How do you think other people show they are feeling sorry? 4 Do some of these feelings and experiences last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling sorry for themselves? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why had Mrs Bates chosen this particular group of children to support the new girl? 2. What kinds of things were the children worried about? 3. How do you think they felt when they first saw Yvonne? 4. How do you think that Yvonne felt when she went into the classroom for the first time? 5. Do you think that there was anything interesting about her speech? 6. Why did Sara begin to feel sorry for Yvonne? 7. Do you think Yvonne realised that Sara was feeling like this? 8. What did the children try to do to help Yvonne once they were out in the playground? 9. Why would this have made Yvonne feel angry and upset? 10. What do you think will happen next and how do you think that children should react to Yvonne in the future?

Act it out! The teacher can remind the pupils of the story up to the Stop Hand. He/she can re-read the story to this point if necessary/time allows. The pupils can then act the story until they get to the Stop Hand. They can try to show how all the children feel nervous about supporting Yvonne and unable to see her as an equal. They can work out how to show how this behaviour leads her to feel angry, embarrassed and frustrated. They can also try to work out a way for the children to recognise how she is feeling before things get out of hand. What should they do and say in order to make sure that she feels comfortable and doesn’t think that they feel sorry for her?

Activity Sheet – Feeling Sorry In this activity the pupils are presented with a series of pictures of individuals for whom they might experience feelings of sympathy. They are asked to identify why they might feel sorry for each person and to then consider why they might be right to feel this way. They are then asked to identify ways in which they might be able to help and to record these ideas on the chart provided. It may be helpful to ensure adequate time is allocated to this activity so that the pupils can discuss their ideas with a partner. They may not agree on their responses and need time to be able to consider why this might be the case i.e. to be able to justify their own point of view and understand, listen and respect someone else’s point of view that may be different to their own. The pictures include the following: a poor man begging, a refugee child, a lonely old lady, a bullied girl, a child watching her parents fight and a disabled child being excluded from a group.


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Self-reflection Activity – Being Sorry In this activity the pupils are asked to consider the fact that we all feel sorry for ourselves and for others in our lives at some point. They are asked to identify four specific situations when they may have felt sorry for the following: 4 Themselves 4 A friend 4 A teacher 4 A parent or carer They are asked to identify why they felt this way : what they said and did, how others reacted and how they could have helped themselves or this other person. The second part of the activity requires the pupils to work with a friend or partner and consider a series of questions which they can debate. These are as follows: 4 How are your examples similar or different? 4 Is it ever wrong to feel sorry for someone? 4 Is it ever wrong to feel sorry for yourself? Responses to the last two questions can also be fed into the plenary for the session.

Take Home Task – Show you’re sorry! In this activity the pupils are asked to consider how a range of people would show that they are sorry for what they had said or done. They are presented with a series of four pictures in which people are engaged in behaviours that may hurt others or themselves. They are asked to work with a friend or family member in order to identify what advice they would give to each individual in order to achieve a better outcome or to make amends. Their ideas could be recorded on the post-it notes outlined on the activity sheet. The pictures include the following: 4 A young boy stealing money from his mum’s purse in order to be able to buy sweets from the shop. 4 A boy trashing his friend’s work because his isn’t as good and he feels jealous. 4 Two older girls bullying a smaller child and taking her mobile phone. 4 A young boy making a total mess of his room and ignoring his harassed mum when she gets upset.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling sorry in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?


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Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can think of a time when they may have felt sorry for themselves. This may have been when they missed out on a special treat due to illness or they were excluded from a favourite activity or left out by their friends. They can consider how this may have been a short-lived or longer-term experience and try to identify how they were able to move forward from the situation. They can use the Problem solver format to record their ideas and work out a way forward if they were to feel this way in the future. 4 Pupils can discuss and collect ‘positive role-models’ (in pictures or photographs) of people who have some form of physical or sensory impairment. For example, Stevie Wonder, Ian Dury, Christopher Reeve, Beethoven etc. What qualities and skills do these people have that allowed them to overcome any difficulties and not feel sorry for themselves? Who helped them? 4 It may be helpful and Informative to arrange for a representative from the RNIB to visit and talk to the children about the organisation and how it supports blind people and also promotes positive images of people with this disability. 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light Method to solve the following problem– you have had an argument with your best friends because they left you out of a special outing. You got angry with them and said some very nasty things. Now you want to say sorry but you also think that they should say sorry to you.They haven’t approached you yet and you’re beginning to feel nervous and fed-up about this. What should you do? How can you sort out this problem? Use the Traffic Light Method and try to work out the best solution. 4 Pupils can listen to Vitellia’s aria from Act 2 of Mozart’s opera ‘La Clemenza di Tito’ entitled ‘Non pui di fiori’. How does this music make them feel? What do they picture in their minds? What is it that makes the music so sad or descriptive of sad and sorry feelings?


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Feeling

Stressed Feeling stressed is when you feel tense and unable to cope with your life and the things that are happening to you.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Stressed Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Stressed Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Stressed Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . . I was Stressed Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Stress Busters!!


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Lesson 39: Feeling Stressed Warm up Activity In the Manner of the Word In this activity one pupil can be asked to leave the room and can be presented with an adverb card, e.g. angrily, funnily, miserably, discontentedly, etc. They can then be asked to come back into the room whilst the other pupils observe them doing something in the manner of the word, e.g. cleaning their teeth angrily, brushing their hair sadly, eating their dinner madly, etc. The pupils in the group have to guess the word and the person who guesses correctly then has a turn at doing an action in the manner of the word.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that might trigger them to feel sorry for themselves or others? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger other people to experience this feeling? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of responding to such triggers in the future? The Feeling Stressed poster can be used to initially introduce this feeling to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Stressed is when you feel tense and unable to cope with your life and the things that are happening to you. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling stressed mean to you? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful?


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Lesson 39: Feeling Stressed

4 How do you think other people show they are feeling stressed? 4 Do some of these feelings and experiences last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were feeling stressed? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why did Kevin feel so tired and stressed? 2. What had he overheard the night before? 3. Why do you think he didn’t feel like eating any breakfast? 4. Why did no-one say anything over the breakfast table? 5. What did Kevin think about on his way to school? 6. What happened when he tried to concentrate on his work? 7. Why did Mr Thomas get so angry with him? 8. Do you think that Mr Thomas would have treated Kevin like this if he had known about his situation? 9. Why do you think that Kevin stormed off and why were the other children in the class so surprised at his behaviour? 10. What else could he have done in order to have gained a better outcome?

Act it out! The teacher can remind the pupils of the story up to the Stop Hand. He/she can re-read the story to this point if necessary/time allows. The pupils can then act the story until they get to the Stop Hand. They can try to show how stressed Kevin was feeling and how this affected his behaviour both at home and in school. Also, they can attempt to show how the other children in his class were amazed by his behaviour. They will need to share their ideas as to how he could have avoided the confrontation with Mr Thomas. What could he have said? How and when could he have talked to his teacher? The pupils can try to work out a conversation between them which would have led to a more positive outcome for Kevin.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Stressed The pupils are here asked to consider the many different reasons that people can experience the feeling of stress. They are presented with a series of statements which describe a range of stressful situations. They are asked to consider which situation they would regard to be most stressful and which they would think of as least stressful. The statements can be cut out and then placed into rank order, the most stressful coming first and the least stressful coming last. This is an individual exercise, the idea here is for the children to then be allocated time to compare their rankings with a partner and to discuss any similarities and differences. What is important is to emphasise the fact that stress is person specific; some people actually like taking tests while for others this may be an awful experience. However there may be stresses which have a negative impact on the majority of us, for example when someone that we love is sick and dying or when we move house or experience a divorce in our family context. What


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is also important is to emphasise the need to respect such differences and to also think about ways in which we can cope more effectively with such feelings.

Self-reflection Activity – I was Stressed In this activity the pupils are asked to draw a picture of themselves when they were feeling stressed. They need to consider how they looked physically. What’s happening to their body? What’s happening to their eyes? Are their fists clenched? Is their face red? Do their eyes look wide and staring, etc? They are also asked to complete a series of sentences as follows: 4 I felt stressed because … 4 I wanted to … 4 It made me feel … 4 It made me think … 4 I acted like … 4 I did or did not ask for help from … 4 People may have noticed because … 4 I try to calm down by … They are finally asked to identify six strategies that they might use in the future if they were to experience this particular feeling again. It may be useful to allocate time for feedback here so that the pupils can compare strategies and also explain why those that they have chosen seem to work for them.

Take Home Task - Stress busters In this activity the pupils are asked to consider which stress busters they might use in order to alleviate feelings of stress and anxiety they might be experiencing. The activity sheet depicts a series of strategies including: 4 Taking time out in a quiet space. 4 Yoga. 4 Deep breathing. 4 Listening to music. 4 Having a sleep or catnap. 4 Doing some exercise. 4 Talking it through with a friend. 4 Relaxation exercises. The pupils are asked to tick against each one and discuss with a friend or family member as to whether they would or would not use these strategies themselves. They are asked to see if they can agree on the most useful strategies and to identify whether or not there are different strategies that they also find helpful. What is important here is that this is another opportunity for the pupils to develop empathy and an awareness that others also experience stress. It is also an opportunity for adults to further understand the stresses that children experience and the fact that these should not be devalued or minimised. For example, taking a SATs test or answering a question in front of the whole class may be just as stressful for the child as starting a new job or moving house may be for the adult.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session?


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4 What have we learnt about feeling stressed in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can brainstorm as a whole-class group and try to identify what stress is and what it means to different people. They can think of themselves, parents, teachers, doctors, shop keepers etc. It would be useful to once again highlight the fact that stress is person specific, i.e. what might be a stressor for one person would not be a stressor for another person and vice versa. 4 Pupils can use the internet to investigate the kinds of jobs that people do and which are reported to be the most and least stressful and why? What can be done to help people in the most stressful jobs? What do they think? Will the information make a difference to their choice of job in the future? 4 It will be useful to make a list of stress busting exercises. Pupils can record these in the form of posters or illustrated lists. 4 Pupils can envisage and imagine a peaceful place where they can feel calm, happy and relaxed. They can draw/paint pictures of these places and make use of this strategy to alleviate stress in their everyday lives. 4 Pupils can also consider a range of physical activities which may help to alleviate stress. For example, swimming, jogging, running on the spot, skipping, playing football or dancing to music etc. They could draw up a weekly timetable in order to include some form of healthy exercise on a daily basis. 4 It may also be helpful to make use of a relaxation script to reduce stress levels.This could become a regular event at lunchtime (a stress buster club) or perhaps at other significant times during the day. Useful additional resources can be found in Keep Your Coooool (Lucky Duck Publishing 2002), 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light Method to solve the following problem – your little brother will be taking his SATs next term. He is starting to get very worried about these tests and has convinced himself that he’s going to fail and that everyone will be very angry and upset with him. You can see that he is becoming anxious and a bit stressed. What can you do? How can you help him to cope with this stress more effectively? Use the Traffic Light Method and try to work out the best solution.


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Feeling

Vain

Feeling vain is when you feel too proud of yourself, the way you look or of what you’ve achieved.

Resources to print from the CD ROM Poster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Vain Story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Vain Activity Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Vain Self-Reflection Activity. . . . . . . . . . You’re “so” Vain! Take Home Task . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Feeling Vain?


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Lesson 40: Feeling Vain Warm up Activity The Animal Game In this activity, the teacher will need to have gathered together a series of picture cards of a variety of animals, e.g. elephant, snake, rat, hamster, monkey, etc. Everyone in the group is then presented with a card and asked, in turn, to do an impression of the animal until other members of the circle group are able to accurately identify the animal that they are pretending to be.

Circle Talk Prior to introducing the new feeling, the teacher can ask the pupils to feed back on the previous session’s take home task focusing on the following points: 4 Who did they work with? 4 Did they learn anything new about themselves or the other person? 4 Were they able to agree on any useful strategies to help both themselves and each other? Did they need to? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that might trigger them to feel stressed? 4 Do they now feel more able to identify things that trigger other people to experience this feeling? 4 Did the activity prompt them to discuss or think of different ways of responding to such triggers in the future? The Feeling Vain poster can be used to initially introduce this feeling to the pupils. The teacher can show the poster to the group and read out the definition as follows: Feeling Vain is when you feel too proud of yourself, the way you look or of what you have achieved. The pupils can then focus upon the following questions making use of a circle time approach as outlined in the introduction. It will be important to reinforce the group rules and particularly the need to provide anonymous examples when discussing times that they or others have experienced this feeling. This will help to ensure the safety of all involved and reinforce the need to respect others feelings. When asking the pupils to formulate their own definitions for this feeling, the teacher can make use of the definitions sheet provided in the appendix acting as a scribe for the pupils. This reinforces the value and importance of the pupil’s views and experiences as all their responses can be recorded and it can also be displayed for future reference during the session. The questions for this Circle talk are as follows: 4 What does feeling vain mean to you? 4 Is this different to feeling confident and sure of your self? If so, how? 4 Can you give your own definition? 4 What does it feel like in your body? 4 What does it make you think? 4 How does it make you behave? 4 Is it a comfortable or uncomfortable feeling? 4 Is it useful? 4 How do you think other people show they are feeling vain?


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4 Do some of these feelings and experiences last longer than others? If so, why? 4 Do you think that some people may be afraid of feeling this way? If so, are they right to feel this way? 4 What would you do and say to help someone who looked as if they were being vain? How could you be sure that they were feeling this way? 4 How would you help yourself if you felt this way? Could you? 4 Who else could help you and how?

Question Time 1. Why was the Carnival considered to be so important? 2. What was this year’s theme? 3. Who had chosen this theme? 4. What did Mr Marks mean when he talked about being beautiful on the inside? 5. Do you think that Sara eventually understood what he meant by this? 6. Why did Sara not want to play football with Ella and the two boys? 7. What do you think the boys were thinking and feeling at this point? 8. When did Sara begin to realise that she hadn’t been picked? 9. How do you think Ella felt when she was chosen? 10. What do you think Sara should do next and how can she overcome her uncomfortable feelings and retain her friendship?

Act it out! The teacher can remind the pupils of the story up to the Stop Hand. He/she can re-read the story to this point if necessary/time allows. The pupils can act the story until they get to the Stop Hand. They can try to show how Sara becomes increasingly vain and arrogant and how this alienates her from her friends. Also, they will need to try to show how shocked she is not to have been chosen and how amazed that Ella should have been picked instead. What should she have done and said when Ella returned to her place in the hall? The pupils can try to work out the conversation between the two girls and show how Sara can overcome her feelings of jealousy and anger and keep her friendship.

Activity Sheet – Feeling Vain The pupils are presented with a problem postcard from a girl called Vicky. She just can’t seem to help herself from feeling vain and acting in a vain manner. This is clearly causing her many problems with her friends who are becoming increasingly fed up with her and are beginning to ostracise her. The pupils are asked to discuss her letter and to consider how she might be able to change her behaviour in order to achieve a better outcome for herself. They are provided with a blank postcard on which they can record their ideas. It will be helpful to ensure adequate time for discussions so that the children can work together with a partner or within the context of a smaller group. The pupils might wish to consider why it is so important to some people to always look good and to also think about how we look may be linked to our levels of self-esteem and confidence. However, becoming obsessive about appearance may also be a negative and unhelpful experience.


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Self-reflection Activity – You’re so vain! In this activity the pupils are asked to consider whether or not they have ever felt vain and wanted to show off about something. This could be about how they look or it could be about something that they are good at, such as swimming, diving, running or writing, etc. They are asked to record their ideas in the vanity case illustration on the activity sheet. The second part of the activity requires them to discuss a series of questions with a partner during a talk time session. These are as follows: 4 What is the difference between self-confidence and vanity? 4 Do you think vanity is a useful feeling? 4 How can you be confident about yourself without resorting to vanity? These are clearly quite complex questions and it may be useful to allocate additional time for feedback so that each pair can outline their responses to the group as a whole.

Take Home task – Feeling Vain? In this activity the pupils are asked to consider what are the pros and cons of feeling vain. They are asked to discuss their ideas with a friend or family member and think about their own feelings of vanity and how they might affect their levels of self-esteem and how they may impact upon others. They are asked to complete the chart jointly in which they record a list of pros (the positive points of vanity) and cons (the negative points). An example has been provided on the activity sheet as follows: 4 One pro is that you will take care of your appearance 4 One con is that other people might think you’re boring It may be helpful to consider whether or not a little bit of vanity is useful. If we didn’t take care of our appearance and take a pleasure in how we look – how would this impact upon our self-esteem. It may be useful for the pupils to consider this question in more depth and allocate additional time to such a conversation.

Plenary A Circle time approach can again be used and the pupils can focus on the following questions: 4 How did we feel at the start of this session? 4 What have we learnt about feeling vain in this session? 4 Have we learnt anything new about ourselves? 4 Have we learnt anything new about others? 4 Will we change the way we deal with this feeling in the future? 4 Have we learnt any new skills or strategies that may help us? 4 On a scale of 1-10 (1=not at all, 5=quite, 10=a great deal) how useful do we now feel this lesson has been? 4 What would we like to be different about this lesson if it was repeated for others in the future? What ideas do we have?

Ideas for reinforcement and development 4 Pupils can consider the question ‘What is beauty?’ and collect images of beauty from a variety of cultures in order to present a collage/display to illustrate the diversity of views and perceptions. 4 Pupils can write stories entitled ‘Beauty is only skin deep’. 4 Pupils can also consider the qualities that people have which may make them ‘beautiful people’


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on the Inside I.e. not aspects of their physical appearance. They can formulate lists of these qualities. These may include some of the following: kindness to others, empathy, generosity, sense of humour, caring, ability to share, ability to take turns, thinking of others before yourself etc. 4 It may also be helpful to further consider the question ‘how do we distinguish between being proud of yourself and being vain’? Pupils could focus upon this question as part of a Circle Time or a whole-class discussion. 4 Pupils can use the Traffic Light Method to solve the following problem – your best friend goes to acting school on Saturdays and was recently chosen to take part in a TV commercial for children’s clothes. She hasn’t stopped talking about it ever since and you think she’s becoming quite big headed and vain. How do you tell her how you feel? How can you get her to change her behaviour? Use the Traffic Light Method and try to work out the best solution to this particular problem. 4 Pupils can listen to the sequence of music from Don Quixote by Strauss where the character thinks that he is a hero. They can discuss how Strauss gets across this information in the music and also identify how this piece makes them feel.


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Appendix

Letter to Parents: FORMAT Dear Parents and Carers

Dealing with Feeling Project During this academic year the children in Class/Year …….. will be undertaking a special project to support their social and emotional learning. The project is called ‘Dealing with Feeling’ and builds upon many aspects of the SEALs curriculum and other initiatives already ongoing in the school. The children will look at a wide range of feelings, including anger, stress, loss and many more positive and challenging emotions. For the majority of children it will be very valuable to have an opportunity to think about these issues and develop their own coping strategies and problem-solving skills. For some children though, this might be more difficult, particularly if they have recently experienced a loss or difficult emotional situation. If this is the case for your child, then you may well like to talk about that with me so that we can work out the best way forward. In the coming weeks, your child will be bringing home a range of take-home tasks and will be asking you to help in completing these. The tasks encourage your child to tell you about what we have been doing, suggest some things to do together or think about and discuss. We will be happy to discuss this further with you and hope that you will enjoy participating in the programme with your child.

With best wishes

Class Teacher / Headteacher


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Appendix

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Useful Organisations, Websites and Publications Antidote 3rd Floor Cityside House 40 Adler Street Aldgate E1 1EE Tel: 020 7247 3355 Fax: 020 7247 7992

National Children’s Bureau 8 Wakeley Street London EC1V 7QE Tel: 020 7843 600 Fax: 020 7278 9512 www.ncb.org.uk

Childline 45 Folgate Street London E1 6GL Tel: 020 7650 3200 Fax: 020 7650 3201 Email: [email protected] www.childline.org.uk

National Healthy School Standard (NHSS) Health Development Agency Holborn Gate 330 High Holborn London WC1V 7BA Tel: 020 7061 3072 www.wiredforhealth.gov.uk

Family Links New Marston Centre Jack Straws Lane Oxford OX3 0DL Tel: 01865 454004 Fax: 01865 452145 Email: [email protected] www.familylinks.org.uk LEAP Confronting Conflict 8 Lennox Road Finsbury Park London N4 3NW Tel: 020 7272 5630 http://www.leaplinx.com/ Emotional Literacy: www.nelig.com www.casel.org www.eq.org

National PSE Association for Advisers, Inspectors and Consultants (NSCoPSE) Chair: Jane Lees 224 Beechcroft Road London SW17 7DP Tel: 020 8672 1366 NSPCC Weston House 42 Curtain Road London EC2A 3NH Tel: 020 7825 2500 Fax: 020 7825 2525 www.nspcc.org.uk Peer support: http://mentalhealth.org.uk/peer/forum.htm PSHE: http://www.teachernet.gov.uk/pshe/

National Healthy School Standard: www.wiredforhealth.gov.uk

Guidance on Emotional Health and WellBeing (NHSS, 2003)

Don’t Suffer in Silence: an anti–bullying pack for schools (DfES 2000)

What works in developing children’s emotional and social competence and wellbeing? (DfES2003, Research Report 456)

Promoting Children’s Mental Health within Early Years and School Settings (DfES 0121/2001)


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Duck (Reaktion Books - Animal)

Promoting Personal Safety in PSHE (Lucky Duck Books)

Let's Learn about Healthy Eating (Lucky Duck Books)

Healthy Eating in Primary Schools (Lucky Duck Books)

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Listen to Me: The Voices of Pupils with Emotional and Behavioural Difficulties (Lucky Duck Books)

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