Change Your Life in Seven Days: The World's Leading Hypnotist Shows You How

ALSO

The

BY

Hypnotic

How

PAUL

World

to Mend

McKENNA

of Paul

McKenna

Your Broken Heart

(with H u g h W i l l b o u r n )

CHANGE Y O U R LIFE IN

7 DAYS The World's Leading Hypnotist Shows You How

PAUL McKENNA, Edited

by

Michael

HARMONY NEW

BOOKS

YORK

Ph.D.

Neill

Copyright © 2004 by Paul McKenna All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Harmony Books, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York, www. crownpublishing. com HARMONY BOOKS is a registered trademark and the Harmony Books colophon is a trademark of Random House, Inc. Originally published in Great Britain by Bantam Press, a division of Transworld Publishers, London, in 2004. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data McKenna, Paul, 1963Change your life in seven days : the world's leading hypnotist shows you how / Paul McKenna.—1st ed. p. cm. 1. Self-actualization (Psychology) 2. Self-perception. 3. Autogenic training. I. Title. BF637.S4M3926 2005 2004018135 158.1—dc22 ISBN 1-4000-8287-0 Printed in the United States of America 1 0

9 8 7 6 5 4 3

First American Edition

To my parents, who gave me more than I realized

Acknowledgments I w o u l d l i k e t o t h a n k all o f m y c o l l e a g u e s , c l i e n t s , a n d students w h o h a v e c o n t r i b u t e d t o this b o o k . I

would

especially

like

to

thank

Richard

Bandler,

M i c h a e l Neill, M i c h a e l B r e e n , D i a n a Beaver, D o u g Y o u n g , Clare Staples, M i k e O s b o r n e , a n d Paul D u d d r i d g e .

Contents

Author's

Note

xi

Introduction 1

DAY 1

Who Are You, Really ? 15

DAY

2

A

User's

Manual

for

Your

Brain

39

DAY

3

The Power of a Positive Perspective 75

DAY 4

Dream Setting 105

ix

PAUL

DAY

5

McKENNA

Healthy Foundations 139

DAY 6

Creating Money 169

DAY

7

Happily Ever After 207

Conclusion:

Changing Your Life, 233

x

One

Week

at a

Time

S

I M P O R T A N T

I

I

(

| T h e r e is a special hypnotic recording to accompany | '£ this hook. It will help von re-enforce I lit: positive J C benefits von gel from the techniques yon are a b o u t \ lo use. 5

Yon can download it for free by visiting:

f.

www.paiiliiickenna.coni/trance

PAUL

DAY

5

McKENNA

Healthy Foundations 139

DAY 6

Creating Money 169

DAY

7

Happily Ever After 207

Conclusion:

Changing Your Life, 233

One

Week

at a

Time

I M P O R T A N T T h e r e is a special hypnotic •recording to a c c o m p a n y this book. It. will help Y O U ••re-enforce I he positive benefits von gel from the techniques you are about to use. You can download it for free by visiting: www.paulinckcnna.eom/t ranee

INTRODUCTION

_

llTMttHM.

'

Y o u HOLD i n y o u r h a n d s a b o o k t h a t h a s t h e p o w e r t o c h a n g e y o u r life forever. D o e s that s e e m like a n o u t l a n d i s h claim? S o m a n y o f t h e p e o p l e I've g u i d e d to a c h i e v i n g their desires started out w o n d e r i n g h o w it is possible a n d e n d e d up astoundi n g t h e m s e l v e s . N o w it's y o u r t u r n . D o n ' t u n d e r e s t i m a t e t h e p o w e r o f t h e system i n this b o o k . I p r o m i s e y o u — i t will c h a n g e y o u r life! Success a n d happiness are not accidents that just happ e n to s o m e p e o p l e a n d not to o t h e r s — t h e y are predictable results c r e a t e d by deliberate ways of t h i n k i n g a n d a c t i n g , ways t h a t I'll b e s h a r i n g w i t h y o u o v e r t h e n e x t s e v e n days. A s t h e s a y i n g g o e s , s u c c e s s i s all a b o u t l u c k — a s k any failure!

C A N I REALLY C H A N G E MY LIFE IN S E V E N D A Y S ?

Whether you think you can or you think

People

who

attend

my

seminars

are

always a m a z e d w h e n w e c u r e l i f e l o n g p h o b i a s i n less t h a n a n h o u r , o r c l e a r u p s u p p o s e d l y d e e p - s e a t e d issues i n j u s t

3

you can't, you're probably right. —Henry Ford

PAUL

McKENNA

a few days. B u t m o s t p e o p l e c a n t h i n k of a time w h e n t h e i r lives c h a n g e d i n j u s t a f e w m o m e n t s . P e r h a p s i t was getting a new piece of important information, or meeti n g a special s o m e o n e a n d k n o w i n g that y o u r life w o u l d never again be the same. H e r e is the reason why c h a n g e c a n h a p p e n so quickly:

The changes that matter most are more often changes in perception than changes in the world outside us. And we can change the way we perceive the world in a heartbeat. In fact, t h e m y t h that it takes a l o n g t i m e to c h a n g e has only b e e n a r o u n d for a b o u t a h u n d r e d years, w h e n F r e u d i a n analysis b e c a m e t h e d o m i n a n t i n f l u e n c e i n t h e treatment

of psychosomatic

illness.

What

makes

this

point of view ironic is that the goal of psychoanalysis has n e v e r b e e n t o change p e o p l e , b u t r a t h e r t o h e l p t h e m gain a d e e p e r u n d e r s t a n d i n g of why they are the way they are. In my work, understanding is the b o o b y prize! S o m e t i m e s e v e n a s m a l l c h a n g e c a n m a k e a h u g e difference. For example, imagine you and another person are driving a l o n g two straight roads, stretching side by side off into the infinite distance. N o w i m a g i n e that o n e of t h o s e r o a d s shifts e v e n a t i n y b i t a w a y f r o m t h e o t h e r . A t first t h e d i f f e r e n c e m i g h t s e e m i m p e r c e p t i b l e . B u t o v e r time, that small c h a n g e in direction w o u l d take y o u to an entirely different destination f r o m the other person. T h e t e c h n i q u e s c o n t a i n e d in Change Your Life in Seven Days a r e s t a t e o f t h e a r t , o f f e r i n g n o t o n l y t h e l a t e s t soft-

4

Change

Your Life in Seven Days

ware b u t also a w h o l e n e w o p e r a t i n g system for y o u r body and mind. E a c h day, y o u w i l l m a k e t i n y c h a n g e s , c h a n g e s t h a t m a y b e i m p e r c e p t i b l e t o y o u a t first. B u t a s y o u c o n t i n u e m o v i n g f o r w a r d , y o u will b e g i n t o realize j u s t h o w far y o u have already c o m e and just h o w m u c h you have changed. Let's face i t — i f y o u d o virtually a n y t h i n g consistently f o r s e v e n days, i t will c h a n g e y o u . W h a t m a k e s this system d i f f e r e n t i s t h a t m a n y o f t h e t e c h n i q u e s y o u will b e l e a r n i n g a s y o u r e a d will g o o n w o r k i n g , h e l p i n g y o u l o n g after y o u stop u s i n g t h e m . O v e r the n e x t seven days the a c t i o n s y o u take will set u p a w a v e o f c h a n g e i n y o u r life that will i n t u r n affect m a n y o t h e r areas o f y o u r life, w h i c h in t u r n affect others. Just as an oil t a n k e r takes a little w h i l e t o start m o v i n g , i t b e c o m e s difficult t o s t o p o n c e i t builds u p sufficient m o m e n t u m . F o r centuries p e o p l e t h o u g h t it was impossible to r u n a four-minute mile. T h e n on M a r c h 6, 1954, R o g e r Bann i s t e r d i d w h a t all

great pioneers

do—he

made

the

impossible happen. R e c e n t l y , I m e t Dr. B a n n i s t e r a n d w e talked a b o u t h o w a m a z i n g it was that within a year of his b r e a k i n g t h e fourm i n u t e m i l e , thirty-seven o t h e r p e o p l e a r o u n d the world did so as well. In the f o l l o w i n g y e a r , a n i n c r e d i b l e three hundred r u n n e r s b r o k e t h r o u g h that previously i m p e n e t r a b l e barrier. T h e finest m i n d s of the a g e h a d believed it was impossible

to

do,

a n d their beliefs b e c a m e

a self-fulfilling

p r o p h e c y . ( S o m e n o t e d scientists actually s u g g e s t e d that

5

PAUL

McKENNA

t h e h u m a n b o d y w o u l d explode i f p u s h e d t o d o a f o u r minute mile!) It only t o o k o n e c o u n t e r e x a m p l e — o n e p e r s o n proving that what others h a d previously t h o u g h t could n o t be d o n e was in fact p o s s i b l e — f o r e v e r y o n e else to tap into that possibility w i t h i n themselves. T h e h u m a n m i n d generalizes as a learning principle. For example, as a child you learn h o w a d o o r opens a n d closes. Y o u r m i n d t h e n generalizes that l e a r n i n g to apply to all d o o r s e v e r y w h e r e . T h i s w o r k s equally well w h e t h e r the learnings are useful or painful. O v e r the n e x t seven days, we are g o i n g to dismande many of the negative generalizations you have m a d e a b o u t the world, a n d build positive n e w ones.

MY STORY I

became

interested

in

all

things

self-improvement

s h o r d y after I left s c h o o l . It d i d n ' t take l o n g for me to r e a d n e a r l y e v e r y s e l f - h e l p b o o k , try e v e r y t e c h n i q u e , a n d a p p l y e v e r y t h i n g I was l e a r n i n g to my o w n life. As a r e s u l t , m y life c h a n g e d d r a m a t i c a l l y f o r t h e b e t t e r . I n fact, since I b e g a n u s i n g the t e c h n i q u e s I am a b o u t to share with you, I quickly noticed an i m p r o v e m e n t in my confidence, my finances, my career, a n d the way p e o p l e treated

me.

I

became

wealthy,

famous,

and

my

life

b e c a m e infinitely m o r e g l a m o r o u s t h a n i t was b e f o r e — all i n a s h o r t s p a c e o f t i m e . A l l o f t h e b e s t t e c h n i q u e s t h a t

6

Change

Your Life in Seven Days

I u s e d to c r e a t e t h e life I live t o d a y a r e c o n t a i n e d in t h e book you now hold in your hands! M y p u r p o s e i n life, a n d t h e g o a l o f this b o o k , i s t o h e l p y o u g e t g r e a t e r c o n t r o l o f y o u r s e l f a n d y o u r life. S i n c e 1 9 8 5 , 1 h a v e b e e n w o r k i n g o n a r e v o l u t i o n a r y selfi m p r o v e m e n t system that will w o r k f o r e v e r y o n e . T h e unique

success-conditioning system y o u

are

about to

l e a r n has n o w b e e n p e r f e c t e d — y o u will b e g i n m a k i n g p r o f o u n d c h a n g e s w i t h i n t h e v e r y first day. B e s t o f a l l , y o u c a n r e l a x — i t ' s v e r y easy, a n d y o u d o n ' t h a v e t o h a v e a n y p r e v i o u s e x p e r i e n c e o r skill. I n fact, i f y o u c a n close y o u r eyes, talk t o y o u r s e l f a n d o t h e r s , a n d m o v e your body, y o u

can

control your thinking and

behavior, a n d ultimately y o u c a n live t h e life o f y o u r dreams. All y o u have to do is follow my instructions step by step, even if at times you're n o t sure y o u ' r e d o i n g it right. T o g e t h e r , w e are g o i n g t o d e s i g n a n d install "positive software" for your m i n d !

THE P O W E R O F N O W T h i s i s a n e x c i t i n g t i m e i n history. O u r w o r l d i s t r a n s f o r m i n g e v e r y day. T h e s c i e n t i f i c a n d t e c h n o l o g i c a l t r a n s f o r mations

and breakthroughs

that are

taking place

all

a r o u n d us are increasing at e x p o n e n t i a l rates. W e , as a h u m a n race, are c o n n e c t i n g over great distances, explori n g a n d reshaping o u r world. Journeys that used to take m o n t h s are n o w m a d e in hours; calculations that u s e d to

7

PAUL

McKENNA

take years are n o w d o n e in minutes. T h e question is n o t will y o u r life c h a n g e — t h e q u e s t i o n i s w h a t w i l l i t c h a n g e into? R i g h t n o w w e live i n a d i g i t a l i n f o r m a t i o n a g e . F a x e s , m o b i l e t e l e p h o n e s , c o m p u t e r s , a n d satellite t e c h n o l o g y , u n t h i n k a b l e e v e n fifty y e a r s a g o , a r e n o w c o n s i d e r e d a n o r m a l p a r t o f twenty-first-century life. S o m e t h i n g h a p p e n s o n o n e side o f the world a n d w e c a n watch i t o n o u r t e l e v i s i o n s c r e e n s m o m e n t s later. G l o b a l c o m m u n i c a t i o n s systems c a n c o n n e c t m i n d t o m i n d like n e r v e cells in a h u g e global brain. W h e r e v e r it is we are going, we a r e g o i n g t h e r e fast! We stand on the threshold of an e n o r m o u s leap in o u r evolution, a n d I believe that the n e x t great stage in h u m a n d e v e l o p m e n t will b e a m o v e o u t o f t h e i n f o r m a t i o n a g e a n d i n t o a n e w t i m e i n w h i c h p e o p l e will b e g i n t o d e v e l o p t h e i r i n n e r r e s o u r c e s . I c a l l this time t h e a g e of psychotechnology—a t i m e w h e n w e w i l l b e g i n t o u n l e a s h t h e a m a z i n g p o w e r s a n d i n n e r a b i l i t i e s t h a t w e a r e all b o r n w i t h . I s e e the understanding a n d practice of psychotechnology as b e i n g like h a v i n g a n owner's m a n u a l for y o u r brain. Unfortunately, most p e o p l e spend m o r e time learning to work their D V D player than they do their own mind. By taking the next week to read and practice the e x e r c i s e s i n this b o o k , y o u a r e m a r k i n g y o u r s e l f o u t a s different from the 98 percent of people who, to quote Winston Churchill, "stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened." I n this b o o k , y o u ' l l d i s c o v e r t h e t e c h n i q u e s t h a t h a v e

8

Change

Your Life in Seven Days

h e l p e d m a n y p e o p l e break t h r o u g h their limitations a n d release their true potential. Together, we are g o i n g to p r o g r a m y o u r m i n d to m a k e y o u a happier, m o r e confident, and powerful person.

GETTING STARTED B e f o r e y o u b e g i n o n this j o u r n e y i n t o y o u r true p o t e n tial, I ' d like y o u t o stop a n d c o n s i d e r this: What would it be like if you woke up one morning and a miracle had happened—your life had become exactly what you wanted it to be? D o i t n o w — s t o p a n d v i v i d l y i m a g i n e it. •

H o w w o u l d y o u know that the miracle h a d taken place?

•

W h a t w o u l d y o u see?

•

W h a t would you hear?

•

W h a t w o u l d y o u feel inside?

•

What

changes

would

have

happened

in

career? •

In y o u r relationships?

•

Your

•

Your health?

finances?

As you use the ideas and practice the techniques you will learn from this book, you are going to make these dreams come true.

9

your

PAUL

McKENNA

Simply relax, read, a n d allow the ideas a n d exercises in the b o o k to take root. J u s t as a g a r d e n e r plants s e e d s a n d patiently waits f o r t h e m t o grow, e v e r y t i m e y o u w o r k w i t h this b o o k , y o u ' r e p l a n t i n g positive suggestions i n y o u r m i n d that will g r o w into

powerful

n e w ways

to

operate

the world's

most

advanced b i o c o m p u t e r — y o u r brain! E v e n t h o u g h y o u c a n a c h i e v e d r a m a t i c results i n y o u r v e r y first w e e k , y o u m a y w a n t t o r e t u r n People are always

t o t h e b o o k s e v e r a l t i m e s i n t h e first f e w

blaming

m o n t h s . It is vitally i m p o r t a n t to do t h e

circum-

stances for what they

exercises in order to get the kind of

are. I don't believe in

results y o u want. No single t e c h n i q u e is

circumstances.

a m a g i c pill for success, b u t w h e n y o u

The

people who get ahead

p r a c t i c e t h e m a g a i n a n d a g a i n t h e y will

in this world are the

b e c o m e second nature to you. Whatever you achieve in the

people who get up

next

and look for the

t e n years will b e t h e result o f w h a t y o u

circumstances they_

do now. As the saying goes, if y o u k e e p

want, and if they

d o i n g w h a t y o u ' v e always d o n e y o u ' l l

can't find them,

just get more

make them.

got. But you do have the power to make

—George Bernard Shaw

an

incredible

of what you've

difference

A n d i t starts r i g h t h e r e .

10

already

t o y o u r life.

Change

Your Life in Seven Days

THE D I F F E R E N C E T H A T M A K E S THE D I F F E R E N C E M a n y p e o p l e b e g i n a self-help b o o k or p e r s o n a l training p r o g r a m b u t quit halfway t h r o u g h . T h e y c o n v i n c e thems e l v e s t h a t it's t o o h a r d o r t h a t t h e y d o n ' t h a v e w h a t i t takes. H e r e ' s the p r o b l e m with that a p p r o a c h :

If you don't take control of your life, someone else will.

Now,

I k n o w responsibility i s n ' t a v e r y p o p u l a r w o r d

these days. Billions of dollars c h a n g e h a n d s e a c h y e a r as p e o p l e literally pass t h e b u c k on w h o s e fault it is t h a t their coffee was too hot, their b o d y was too weak, or their d o g was p o o r l y trained. B u t a n o t h e r way of t h i n k i n g a b o u t responsibility is that i t i s r e a l l y a b o u t c o n t r o l . D o y o u w a n t t o c o n t r o l y o u r life o r h a n d o v e r that c o n t r o l t o o t h e r p e o p l e — y o u r family, the m e d i a , or even society in general? Do y o u w a n t to be the master o f y o u r fate o r the victim o f y o u r circumstances?

Taking responsibility is taking control of those parts of your life that are within your control, while letting go of trying to control what is not.

It's e a s y t o b l a m e y o u r p a r e n t s , y o u r e m p l o y e r s , o r t h e g o v e r n m e n t for your problems, but until y o u d e c i d e to see yourself as responsible for y o u r situation t h e n y o u

11

PAUL

McKENNA

d o n ' t h a v e a n y p o w e r t o c h a n g e it. A l l g r e a t a c h i e v e r s k n o w that taking responsibility is the first step toward h a v i n g a successful arid fulfilling life. Dr. S t e p h e n R. C o v e y d e s c r i b e s it like this:

W h e n y o u p i c k u p o n e e n d o f t h e stick, y o u p i c k u p the other. T h e r e f o r e , if y o u d e c i d e to take responsibility f o r y o u r c i r c u m s t a n c e s , y o u a u t o m a t i c a l l y t a p into the power to c h a n g e them.

W h e n I share these ideas in my seminars, occasionally a p a r t i c i p a n t w i l l say t o m e , " D o e s t h a t m e a n t h a t i f I ' m w a l k i n g a c r o s s t h e r o a d a n d I g e t r u n o v e r , it's m y f a u l t ? " T h e answer is s i m p l e — t a k i n g responsibility is n o t the s a m e a s t a k i n g t h e b l a m e . Y o u a r e not r e s p o n s i b l e f o r t h e h a n d y o u h a v e b e e n dealt, b u t i t i s always u p t o y o u h o w y o u p l a y it. S t o p for a m o m e n t a n d i m a g i n e w h a t it w o u l d be like to take responsibility for your l i f e — t o have the p o w e r to m a k e c h o i c e s a n d c h a n g e s i n e v e r y a r e a o f y o u r life. T o be in control of your finances, your relationships, and your sense of well-being. To be at peace with those things that are n o t i n y o u r c o n t r o l a n d i n full c o m m a n d o f those that are. If y o u like what y o u are imagining, m a k e the decision r i g h t n o w to take responsibility f o r y o u r life at a w h o l e n e w level. T h e m o r e I w o r k with p e o p l e w h o achieve a s t o u n d i n g results, the m o r e I am i n s p i r e d by the w o r d s of W. H. Murray:

12

Change

Your Life in Seven Days

Until o n e is committed,

t h e r e i s hesitancy,

the

c h a n c e t o d r a w b a c k , always i n e f f e c t i v e n e s s . C o n c e r n i n g all acts o f initiative ( a n d c r e a t i o n ) , t h e r e i s o n e e l e m e n t a r y t r u t h t h e i g n o r a n c e o f w h i c h kills countless ideas a n d splendid plans: that the m o m e n t o n e definitely c o m m i t s oneself,

then providence

m o v e s t o o . A w h o l e s t r e a m o f e v e n t s issues f r o m t h e d e c i s i o n , r a i s i n g i n o n e ' s f a v o r all m a n n e r o f u n f o r e s e e n i n c i d e n t s , m e e t i n g s a n d m a t e r i a l assistance, which no m a n could have dreamt would have c o m e his way.

A r e y o u committed? A r e y o u ready to take b a c k y o u r power? A r e you willing to m a k e

this b o o k i m p o r t a n t

e n o u g h t o follow t h e s i m p l e instructions that will c h a n g e y o u r life? E v e n i f y o u ' r e n o t c o n v i n c e d a t f i r s t , i t i s i m p o r tant to realize that y o u can s u c c e e d in spite of yourself! It all h a p p e n s o n e c h a p t e r at a time.

H O W T O U S E THIS B O O K T h i s b o o k i s laid o u t i n s e v e n c h a p t e r s — s e v e n k e y lessons t h a t will g u i d e y o u f r o m w h e r e v e r y o u a r e i n t h e direction of y o u r m o s t d e e p l y felt values a n d m o s t fondly h o p e d - f o r d r e a m . A s y o u p i c k u p t h i s b o o k e a c h day, t r y t o f i l l y o u r m i n d with positive e n e r g y a n d p r e p a r e y o u r b r a i n f o r t h e v a l u a b l e i n f o r m a t i o n y o u will b e r e c e i v i n g in that day's r e a d i n g .

13

PAUL

MCKENNA

I n j u s t s e v e n clays, y o u w i l l j o i n t h e r a n k s o f t h o s e p e o p l e w h o are so well p r o g r a m m e d to succeed that they c a n n o t h e l p b u t b e successful a t w h a t they d o . Y o u will b e a b l e t o h a n d l e w h a t e v e r c h a l l e n g e s life o f f e r s y o u w i t h a sense o f ease a n d c o n f i d e n c e . Y o u r j o u r n e y will b e g i n i n the next chapter, as you discover w h o you are b e c o m i n g a n d uncover your true potential to b e c o m e the person y o u r e a l l y w a n t to b e . . . .

14

DAY

1

W H O ARE YOU, REALLY? Discover your true potential and become the person you truly want to be

Imagine you

woke

up

one

day

in

a

land populated almost

entirely by giants. At first you would no doubt be terrified, and the deafening roar of loud noises and the uncomfortable sinking feeling when you fell would stick with you for a lifetime. After a time, you would realize that many of the giants seemed friendly,

and

that one giant in particular was taking a special interest in your safety and well-being. Then imagine that one day, for no reason whatsoever, the giant you had learned to trust completely yelled at you, threatened you, even hit you. How could you ever feel safe again in a land of giants'? There must be some laws of the land or rules that you could learn to help you survive. One day, you meet some other little people. like you,

They appear to be

and in their company, you instantly feel more secure.

Some of them claim to know the laws of the land, and share them with you.

Combined with the insight you've gained from observing

17

PAUL

McKENNA

the giants and listening to them teach you in their booming, godlike voices, you begin to figure out what you need to do and not do to stay safe. Do as you are told. It's easier to get along if you go along. Don't cry. Don't fight. Study hard. Get a job. Do as you are told.

Get

married. Have children to support you in your old age. Do as you are told. The list grows longer as your once tiny body grows larger (nurtured no doubt by giants), giants

the special food produced in the land of the

and eventually you come to realize that there are no left.

And then one day you wake up, and there is a tiny little creature staring up at you.

She has awakened in a land of giants.

And because you love her, you begin to teach her everything you've learned about how to survive in this land of giants. And so the cycle continues. . . .

18

THE P O W E R O F B R A I N W A S H I N G D u r i n g t h e K o r e a n civil w a r o f t h e l a t e 1 9 5 0 s , t h e C h i nese K o r e a n s successfully c o n v e r t e d a n u n p r e c e d e n t e d n u m b e r of American P O W s to the "religion" of c o m m u nism. T h e y didn't do it through threat of torture or even promise of r e w a r d — t h e y did it by simply c h a n g i n g the soldier's self-image. W h a t the C h i n e s e u n d e r s t o o d was that o u r b e h a v i o r i s a d i r e c t r e s u l t o f t h e p e r s o n w e believe-we a r e — o u r selfi m a g e . T h i n k of it like a l o o p — w e are constantly c o n firming to ourselves that we are the person we think we are, b u t the system we use to interpret o u r behavior a n d f e e d b a c k i s o u r o w n s e l f - i m a g e . It's a c a t c h - 2 2 . So the Chinese interrupted the loop. Y o u might think i t was a b i g task r e p r o g r a m m i n g m e n w h o h a d b e e n h i g h l y t r a i n e d o n l y to give their n a m e , rank, a n d serial n u m b e r , b u t t h e C h i n e s e d i d i t bit b y bit. D u r i n g an interrogation, prisoners were persuaded to m a k e o n e or two mildly anti-American or p r o - c o m m u n i s t statements. (For e x a m p l e , " T h e U n i t e d States i s n o t perf e c t , " or "In a c o m m u n i s t c o u n t r y , t h e r e is less u n e m ployment and

crime.")

Once

these

apparently minor

statements h a d b e e n extracted, the prisoner would then b e a s k e d t o d e f i n e exactly h o w the U n i t e d States was n o t p e r f e c t . W h e n h e was w o r n d o w n a n d weary, h e w o u l d t h e n b e a s k e d t o s i g n h i s n a m e t o t h e list o f r e a s o n s h e h a d c o m e u p with.

19

PAUL

McKENNA

L a t e r , t h e p r i s o n e r w o u l d b e m a d e t o r e a d h i s list i n a discussion

group

with

other

prisoners.

The

Chinese

w o u l d t h e n b r o a d c a s t h i s n a m e a n d list o f r e a s o n s d u r i n g a n a n t i - A m e r i c a n r a d i o b r o a d c a s t n o t o n l y t o his o w n c a m p b u t t o all t h e o t h e r N o r t h K o r e a n P O W c a m p s a n d the rest of the A m e r i c a n forces in S o u t h K o r e a as well. Suddenly, the prisoner f o u n d himself l a b e l e d a collaborator,

someone

who

participated

in

the

kind

of

behavior that h e l p e d the enemy. W h e n fellow prisoners a s k e d w h y h e h a d d o n e it, h e c o u l d n ' t c l a i m h e h a d b e e n t o r t u r e d . A f t e r all, h e h a d said t h o s e t h i n g s a n d s i g n e d his n a m e t o t h e m . Psychological research has shown that h u m a n beings can tolerate only a certain a m o u n t of discrepancy between their thoughts a n d their behavior. Like anyone unaware of t h e p o w e r o f his o w n self-image, t h e p r i s o n e r felt h e h a d to justify his actions in o r d e r to m a i n t a i n consistency w i t h h i s o w n i n t e r n a l s e n s e o f identity. H e w o u l d say t h a t w h a t he h a d said was true. In that m o m e n t his self-image c h a n g e d . H e n o w believed that h e was p r o - c o m m u n i s t , a n d his f e l l o w p r i s o n e r s r e i n f o r c e d h i s n e w i d e n t i t y b y treating h i m differently. T h e l o o p was c o m p l e t e . B e f o r e l o n g , his desire to act consistently with his n e w self-image w o u l d drive h i m to collaborate with the Chin e s e e v e n m o r e , t h e r e b y f u r t h e r r e i n f o r c i n g h i s n e w selfi m a g e until he no l o n g e r e v e n q u e s t i o n e d it was true.

20

Change Your Life in Seven Days

W H A T IS A S E L F - I M A G E ? Y o u r self-image is the way y o u see yourself in y o u r imagination.

The

reason y o u r self-image is so p o w e r f u l is

b e c a u s e y o u r b e h a v i o r will a l m o s t n e v e r d e v i a t e f r o m this i n t e r n a l m a p . It acts as a sort of self-fulfilling p r o p h e c y , telling y o u h o w to behave or p e r f o r m to act consistendy with the kind of p e r s o n y o u think y o u are. Yet m a n y p e o p l e d o n ' t even realize they have an i m a g e of themselves u n t i l they l o o k . W e ' v e all m e t p e o p l e w h o a r e a t t r a c t i v e b u t w h o t h i n k o f t h e m s e l v e s a s u g l y — t o o fat o r t o o thin o r t o o o l d o r t o o y o u n g . I f y o u truly believe y o u are unattractive, y o u will u n c o n s c i o u s l y s a b o t a g e a n y a t t e m p t s t o m a k e y o u r s e l f a p p e a r attractive. B e c a u s e y o u w o n ' t r e p r e s e n t yourself a t y o u r best, p e o p l e will inevitably f i n d y o u unattractive, a n d the p r o p h e c y is fulfilled. Studies have shown that an extraordinary n u m b e r of people

who

suddenly

receive

large

sums

of

money

t h r o u g h lottery wins or i n h e r i t a n c e a r e likely to lose it a g a i n almost as quickly.

Even people w h o earn their

m o n e y are likely to lose it if w h a t they are e a r n i n g is m o r e t h a n they believe they are worth. T h e y feel u n c o m f o r t a b l e w i t h t h e e x t r a m o n e y , s o t h e y s p e n d it, l e n d it, o r f i n d s o m e o t h e r w a y t o g e t r i d o f it. C e l e b r i t i e s w h o s e star rises t o o h i g h t o o fast c a n also be b r o u g h t back to earth by the gravitational pull of a limited self-image.

In

fact,

so

m a n y celebrities suffer

f r o m self-destructive b e h a v i o r b r o u g h t o n b y feelings o f

21

PAUL

McKENNA

unworthiness that psychologists have created a n a m e for the pattern: the paradise syndrome. H o w y o u t h i n k o f y o u r s e l f a l s o a f f e c t s h o w other people feel about you. Because m o r e than 90 percent of what you communicate is unconscious, the people around you are continually r e s p o n d i n g to your body language, tone of voice, a n d the e m o t i o n a l signals y o u are transmitting. E v e n if the w o r d s y o u use s o u n d positive, y o u may well find yourself conveying o n e message verbally a n d a c o m pletely different message with y o u r b o d y language. Here's the point:

You are constantly letting other people know how to treat you by the way you treat yourself. In t h e b o o k The Mastery of Love, D o n W e seek the teeth that made the wounds. -Anonymous

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offered y o u a pizza b u t y o u ' d have to let t h e m a b u s e y o u f o r t h e rest o f y o u r life, y o u ' d l a u g h i n his face. B u t i f y o u w e r e living i n the street a n d h a d n ' t e a t e n for days a n d that s a m e p e r s o n m a d e y o u that s a m e o f f e r , y o u ' d b e l i k e l y t o c o n s i d e r it. W e s e t d e f o r w h a t w e f e e l w e a r e w o r t h — t h a t is, w e w i l l n e v e r a l l o w a n y o n e t o abuse us m o r e than we abuse ourselves.

22

Change

Your Life in Seven Days

S U C C E S S A N D THE S E L F - I M A G E Unfortunately, fulfilling

while

prophecy

each

failure

of your

reinforces

negative

the

self-image,

selfyour

o u t e r successes rarely c h a n g e it for the better. No matter h o w m u c h y o u h a v e o n t h e o u t s i d e — b i g h o u s e , b i g car, m o n e y — i t w i l l n o t u l t i m a t e l y satisfy y o u i f y o u d o n ' t already feel g o o d a b o u t yourself on the inside. O v e r the years I have h a d the opportunity to m e e t a n d w o r k with a large n u m b e r of successful p e o p l e . I am c o n tinually struck by h o w m a n y of t h e m

create

an

outer

v e n e e r as a way of h i d i n g personal feelings of inadequacy. For example, they project any n u m b e r of things to compensate

for

a

lack

of inner

self-worth,

flouting

their

w e a l t h , status, i n t e l l e c t u a l a c h i e v e m e n t , p h y s i c a l s t r e n g t h , social c o n n e c t i o n s , or m o r a l "superiority" in an a t t e m p t to prove that they are n o t as worthless as they feel inside. S o m e t i m e s i t starts o u t w i t h a l i t t l e l i e o r a s m a l l a f f e c tation, b u t over the years it develops into an entire o u t e r persona that is the complete opposite of h o w they feel on the inside. T h e y continually feel like a fraud, fearing that at any m o m e n t they are g o i n g to be "found out" a n d it will all b e t a k e n a w a y f r o m t h e m . I n f a c t , m a n y p e o p l e w h o m we consider in o u r culture to have everything are s e c r e t self-haters. I call this t h e " b l i n g - b l i n g f a c t o r " — t h e b i g g e r the jewelry, the smaller the self-image. However, the bling-bling factor is by no means exclusively a p r o b l e m o f t h e r i c h a n d f a m o u s . I n f a c t , h a v i n g w o r k e d with p e o p l e f r o m all walks o f life, I h a v e c o m e t o

23

PAUL

McKENNA

t h e c o n c l u s i o n t h a t a l m o s t everybody i s t o s o m e e x t e n t hiding or compensating for a part of themselves that they d o n ' t like. F o r a l o n g time I felt that if o n l y I c o u l d be rich enough

or famous

enough,

or date

lots

of beautiful

w o m e n , t h e n I w o u l d feel b e t t e r a b o u t myself. I h a d b e e n a n e r d y kid, a n d my s o l u t i o n to t h a t was to affix a v e n e e r of success to myself so that no o n e

( i n c l u d i n g myself)

w o u l d n o t i c e h o w i n a d e q u a t e I really felt. Over

a

relatively

short

period

of time,

I

worked

incredibly h a r d at achieving a n d did very well. I b e c a m e f a m o u s , m a d e m o n e y , a n d c r e a t e d all t h e t r a p p i n g s o f a g l a m o r o u s life. M y T V s h o w s w e r e a h u g e hit; I h a d m o r e money than

ever

before

and a

beautiful

model

girl-

f r i e n d . R o c k stars, m o v i e stars, e v e n r o y a l t y w a n t e d m e t o work with them. H o w e v e r , I k e p t t h i n k i n g , "I h a v e e v e r y t h i n g I have e v e r w a n t e d — h o w c o m e I still f e e l e m p t y ? "

SO HOW IS YOUR SELF-IMAGE FORMED? We are born princes, and the civilizing process makes us into

While

some

of the

earliest

messages

y o u g o t f r o m y o u r family were n o d o u b t positive,

many

of

them

were

not.

W h e t h e r y o u w e r e t o l d y o u w e r e a "stu-

frogs. —Eric Berne

pid

child,"

"ungrateful,"

or

"clumsy,"

y o u s o a k e d u p all t h e n e g a t i v e s u g g e s -

24

Change

Your Life in Seven Days

tions a l o n g with whatever positive r e i n f o r c e m e n t c a m e y o u r way. A r e c e n t s t u d y r e v e a l e d t h a t t h e a v e r a g e A m e r i c a n p a r e n t criticizes his o r h e r c h i l d r e n e i g h t t i m e s f o r every o n e time they praise t h e m . W h e n y o u start s c h o o l , s o m a n y p e o p l e are b i g g e r than you and seem to know more than you do. A whole n e w w o r l d o f p r o b l e m s c o m e s y o u r way. T e a c h e r s u n w i t tingly de-genius y o u at s c h o o l by their efforts to m o l d y o u . Y o u r s p o n t a n e o u s c h i l d l i k e q u a l i t y b e c o m e s dissipated in the race to shape y o u into an adult. J u s t a s y o u ' r e g e t t i n g t h e h a n g o f it, p u b e r t y a r r i v e s . H a i r grows, b o d y parts c h a n g e size, a n d j u s t b e i n g alive i s embarrassing. T h e n of course

there are

those people

a r o u n d y o u with low self-esteem w h o coverdy u n d e r m i n e y o u to m a k e themselves feel better. Research has shown that by the age of fourteen, 98 p e r c e n t of c h i l d r e n have a negative self-image. A n d it o n l y gets worse. Irish a u t h o r J. H. B r e n n a n describes it like this:

If there is o n e w o r d w h i c h ably describes adolescence, that word is confusion. A n d the confusion i s s o s t r o n g l y felt t h a t i t c a n easily i m p i n g e o n y o u r basic s e l f - i m a g e . It's a s o r r y p i c t u r e : s m a l l . . . h e l p l e s s . . . p o w e r l e s s . . . dirty . . . socially u n a c c e p t a b l e . . . i n f e r i o r . . . c o n f u s e d — a n d in p a r t i c u l a r l y b a d cases, u n l o v e d a n d u n w a n t e d a s w e l l . A n d s o r r y t h o u g h i t is, t h e i m a g e w a s l a r g e l y a c c u r a t e w h e n i t was laid d o w n — n o t by yourself, b u t by the actions

25

PAUL

McKENNA

a n d o p i n i o n s o f o t h e r s . A n d a t this s t a g e , N a t u r e p l a y e d y o u t h e dirtiest trick i m a g i n a b l e . Y o u g r e w u p , b u t y o u r self-image d i d n ' t . No w o n d e r there are so m a n y p e o p l e w h o aren't a c h i e v i n g w h a t t h e y w o u l d like i n t h e i r lives!

A s I r e l a t e d J . H . B r e n n a n ' s w o r d s t o m y o w n life, I w a s able to r e c o g n i z e that my f u n d a m e n t a l p r o b l e m was a s e n s e o f p o w e r l e s s n e s s — d e e p d o w n , I still s a w m y s e l f a s a nerdy, helpless child. W h a t e v e r sense of p o w e r I h a d in my life d i d n o t c o m e f r o m m y a u t h e n t i c s e l f b u t w a s d r a w n s o l e l y f r o m t h e r e f l e c t e d status I f e l t f r o m m y s u c c e s s f u l career, beautiful girlfriend, a n d financial resources. F r o m m e e t i n g a n d w o r k i n g with m a n y f a m o u s and successful p e o p l e I already k n e w h o w m u c h of w h a t they h a d a c h i e v e d was t o c o m p e n s a t e f o r their feelings o f inadequacy. It h a d never before occurred to me that I was o n e o f t h e m . O n c e I g o t really clear on the c o n t e n t of my negative self-image, I k n e w it was time to m a k e s o m e f u n d a m e n t a l changes. I h a d already m a d e the decision to take responsibility f o r m y l i f e , s o i t w a s o n l y a s m a l l s t e p f r o m t h e r e t o t a k e r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f o r h o w I c h o s e t o s e e myself. I r e s o l v e d then a n d there to begin pursuing a n e w dream. I wanted to develop an approach to understanding and creating h u m a n e x c e l l e n c e with a h e a r t — n o t just success, b u t h a p p i n e s s a n d fulfillment as well. I d e t e r m i n e d to find a way to heal the n e r d within!

26

Change Your Life in Seven Days

THE B E S T A D V I C E IN THE W O R L D In the mid-1980s, J o h n O p e l , t h e n c h a i r m a n of IBM, gave a talk to an a u d i e n c e of S t a n f o r d M B A s . In r e s p o n s e to a r e q u e s t for his advice a b o u t h o w newly m i n t e d M B A s s h o u l d e m b a r k o n their careers, h e said h e w o u l d share o n e o f his secrets f o r t r u e success. A s t h e e a g e r y o u n g minds in the audience leaned forward, O p e l whispered: " D o n ' t fake it!" He paused and read the body language in the room. H e t h e n said, with g r e a t passion: " N o , really, I m e a n i t ! " T h e r o o m e r u p t e d i n l a u g h t e r . H e w e n t o n t o say t h a t w e a r e all s m a r t e n o u g h a n d s m o o t h e n o u g h t o f a k e i t a n d g e t away with it for a while, b u t eventually o u r faith i n o u r s e l v e s w i l l b e u n d e r m i n e d , a n d w i t h i t o u r selftrust, self-respect, a n d self-esteem.

Here is today's key lesson: The reason you are not yet living the life of your dreams is that you are wasting so much of your time and energy hiding your negative self-image from the world.

W h e n all y o u r e n e r g y i s g o i n g i n t o m a i n t a i n i n g t h e illusion o f y o u r p r o j e c t e d self a n d h i d i n g t h e i m a g e o f y o u r f e a r e d s e l f f r o m t h e w o r l d , t h e still, s m a l l v o i c e o f t h e a u t h e n t i c s e l f — w h o y o u really a r e — c a n barely b e h e a r d .

27

PAUL

McKENNA

B u t as y o u practice the exercises in today's lesson, y o u will b e g i n to see y o u r s e l f in a n e w light. Y o u will l e a r n to turn u p the v o l u m e o n that i n n e r voice, t o trust y o u r g u t , and to begin to follow the promptings of your own heart. A n d w h e n y o u d o t h a t , y o u r life w i l l c h a n g e f o r e v e r !

TH5 THREE SELVES A t o u r c o r e i s o u r a u t h e n t i c s e l f — t h e reality o f w h o a n d w h a t we really are. B u t p i l e d o n t o p o f t h e r e a l u s — w i t h all o u r w e i r d ness, foibles, a n d u n a b a s h e d us-ness—is a layer of shame, f e a r , a n d g u i l t a b o u t t h e p e r s o n w e ' r e afraid w e a r e , o u r negative self-image. S o i n o r d e r t o m a k e s u r e p e o p l e still l i k e u s , a p p r o v e o f u s , a n d g i v e u s l o v e a n d m o n e y , w e p i l e y e t anotherlayer o n t o p o f o u r f e a r e d s e l f — t h e p e r s o n w e pretend t o b e . T h i s u p p e r m o s t l a y e r is, i f w e ' r e very, v e r y g o o d p r e t e n d e r s , all t h a t o t h e r s g e t t o s e e o f u s . I n f a c t , w e s t r u g g l e s o v a l i a n d y t o m a k e sure n o o n e sees t h a t layer o f liabilities w e a r e a f r a i d c h a r a c t e r i z e u s t h a t w e c o m p l e t e l y forget (sometimes for years at a time) that there's another, real s e l f u n d e r n e a t h all t h a t . W h e n I first s h a r e d this m o d e l w i t h o n e o f m y f r i e n d s , s h e t o l d m e , " O h , I g e t it! O u r r e a l s e l v e s a r e l i k e d i a m o n d s , a n d as we grow up they get covered up in a lot of horseshit, so we p u t nail polish on top of the horseshit to try a n d m a k e o u r s e l v e s m o r e a t t r a c t i v e t o t h e w o r l d . B u t if we s p e n t a little b i t of t i m e d i g g i n g away at t h e h o r s e -

28

Change

Your Life in Seven Days

shit, p e o p l e w o u l d see that w e ' r e really d i a m o n d s a n d w e w o u l d n ' t n e e d any nail polish!" I p r o b a b l y w o u l d ' v e p u t it a bit m o r e like this: A s y o u b e g i n t o e x c a v a t e y o u r real self o u t f r o m u n d e r w h o y o u ' r e afraid y o u are a n d w h o y o u p r e t e n d t o b e (excavate the d i a m o n d out f r o m u n d e r the horse m a n u r e c o v e r e d i n nail p o l i s h ) , y o u g e t t o shift positions f r o m p a s s e n g e r t o driver. A n d w h e n y o u r real self i s d r i v i n g the b u s , y o u g e t t o h a v e m o r e e a s e , m o r e f u n , a n d m o r e you i n y o u r life!

GETTING TO K N O W YOUR SELVES Let's take a closer l o o k at the characteristics of t h e t h r e e s e l v e s as t h e y r e l a t e to y o u r o w n life. I will s h a r e w i t h y o u s o m e

The unexamined life is not worth living.

of my favorite questions for u n m a s k i n g

—Socrates

y o u r p r e t e n d self; u n c o v e r i n g y o u r n e g ative

self-image,

or feared

self;

and unleashing your

a u t h e n t i c self. R e m e m b e r , t h e r e a r e n o r i g h t a n s w e r s — e a c h q u e s t i o n is simply d e s i g n e d to raise y o u r a w a r e n e s s o f w h a t s t o p s y o u f r o m l i v i n g f r o m y o u r a u t h e n t i c self:

Your Pretend Self: Who you pretend to be Y o u r p r e t e n d self is the i m a g e y o u project into the world. O f t e n , this i m a g e i s b a s e d less o n h o w y o u r e a l l y a r e t h a n on covering up h o w y o u are afraid y o u are. A s k a n d answer the following questions:

29

PAUL

• •

McKENNA

H o w do y o u like to be seen? Which

aspects

of your personality do y o u h o p e

p e o p l e n o t i c e first? •

What do you most want everyone to know about you?

•

If y o u r life w e r e t r y i n g to p r o v e s o m e t h i n g a b o u t you, what would it be?

Your Negative Self-image: Who you are afraid you are I f s o m e o n e calls y o u a n a m e t h a t y o u d o n ' t identify w i t h (for e x a m p l e , ' Y o u dirty g r e e n - s k i n n e d M a r t i a n ! " ) , t h e r e is rarely an e m o t i o n a l c h a r g e attached.

If something

u p s e t s u s , it's u s u a l l y b e c a u s e a t s o m e l e v e l w e b e l i e v e i t m i g h t b e true. P e o p l e o f t e n totally d e n y that t h e n e g a t i v e traits t h e y a r e i d e n t i f y i n g h a v e a n y t h i n g t o d o w i t h t h e m . W h e n t h e y ' v e h a d a c h a n c e t o t h i n k a b o u t it, t h e y o f t e n c o m e b a c k w i t h a s h o c k e d r e c o g n i t i o n that this is in fact exactly w h a t t h e y ' v e f e a r e d has b e e n t r u e all a l o n g . O n e fact will m a k e it easier for y o u to take an h o n e s t l o o k at yourself:

Any "negative" traits you identify are not really yours—they

belong

to

your

negative

self-

image and were programmed into you when you were a child. By identifying them honesdy, you are about to let them go!

It c a n be h a r d to l o o k directly at y o u r o w n worst fears a b o u t w h o a n d w h a t y o u a r e — a f t e r all, y o u ' v e p r o b a b l y

30

Change

Your Life in

Seven Days

s p e n t a l a r g e p o r t i o n o f y o u r life a v o i d i n g d o i n g j u s t t h a t . For that reason, most of these questions point to things that reveal y o u r negative self-image rather than y o u r nega t i v e s e l f - i m a g e itself:

•

W h a t ' s t h e o p p o s i t e o f e a c h o f t h e traits o f y o u r p r e t e n d self?

•

W h i c h of y o u r secrets will o n l y be d i s c o v e r e d after you die?

•

W h o is y o u r least favorite p e r s o n a n d why?

Most perception is p r o j e c t i o n — w e

m o s t dislike in

others what we fear can be f o u n d in ourselves!

Your Authentic Self: Who you truly are B y i d e n t i f y i n g t h e traits a n d c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s o f y o u r t h r e e selves, y o u a r e f r e e i n g y o u r s e l f u p t o live m o r e a n d m o r e f r o m the h e a r t o f w h o y o u really a r e — y o u r powerful, l o v i n g , u n s t o p p a b l e a u t h e n t i c self. H e r e ' s a g u i d e l i n e to k n o w w h e t h e r y o u a r e identifyi n g a trait o r characteristic o f y o u r a u t h e n t i c self o r i f y o u are c a u g h t up in the trap of y o u r negative self-image:

Who you really are always feels like coming home. •

W h o are you w h e n nobody's watching?

•

I f y o u f e l t totally s a f e , w h a t w o u l d y o u d o d i f f e r e n d y ?

•

W h o w o u l d y o u be if y o u lived b e y o n d fear?

31

PAUL

McKENNA

REPROGRAMMING YOUR SELF-IMAGE In my e x p e r i e n c e , traditional positive t h i n k i n g is n o t very effective.

Standing in front of the

mirror saying,

"Day by day in every way I am getting better a n d better" d o e s n ' t really w o r k unless y o u are able to actually create a feeling of getting better at the same time. For example, if you were to stop reading for a m o m e n t a n d tell y o u r h e a r t b e a t t o s p e e d u p , i t p r o b a b l y w o u l d n ' t w o r k . B u t if y o u vividly i m a g i n e w a l k i n g d o w n a d a r k alley late at night, h e a r i n g footsteps b e h i n d y o u g e t t i n g closer a n d closer, c h a n c e s a r e y o u r h e a r t b e a t will q u i c k e n . This is because:

The key programs of human behavior are habit and imagination, and they are far more powerful than logic and willpower will ever be. T h e fact i s that y o u r b o d y r e s p o n d s far m o r e readily to the vivid use of i m a g i n a t i o n t h a n to a simple c o m m a n d . That's w h y the way we see ourselves in o u r imagin a t i o n i s c r u c i a l t o t h e w a y w e live o u r lives. In the early 1970s a plastic s u r g e o n n a m e d M a x w e l l Maltz noticed that altering the physical appearance of his patients t h r o u g h s u r g e r y o f t e n c r e a t e d a r e m a r k a b l e increase in confidence a n d sometimes even a complete change

in personality.

However,

some

o f his patients

e x p e r i e n c e d no psychological benefits, no matter h o w spectacular the physical changes. Maltz

concluded

that

cosmetic 32

correction

to

the

Change

Your Life in Seven Days

e x t e r n a l a p p e a r a n c e o f a p a t i e n t d o e s n ' t w o r k w h e n his o r h e r i n t e r n a l s e l f - i m a g e i s p o o r , or, a s h e p u t it, w h e n he or she is "scarred on the inside." So he taught those clients a simple visualization techn i q u e that created a dramatic c h a n g e in their self-image. T o his delight a n d surprise, i t did a s m u c h — o r m o r e — f o r his patients as the actual surgery. By t e a c h i n g his patients w h o h a d a negative self-image to repeatedly imagine themselves as they ideally wanted to be, he noticed that they b e c a m e happier a n d m o r e at p e a c e with themselves in a m a t t e r of days.

Small Change, Big Results One

of the

most profound

can

quickly

and easily

strated

in

a

study

examples

reprogram

by

small

change

our self-image was

of how

demon-

social psychologist

a

Steven J.

Sherman.

He set out to see if he could increase the number of volunteers in

a given

American

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who

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explaining that he was doing a survey, predict

what

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collecting for a see themselves

as

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Cancer Society

a

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uncharitable,

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nearly

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called the same people.

mitting themselves A

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very good

in

33

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one

all of them

the

American

The result of them com-

during the survey ? 700 percent

no

in

volunteers!

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t was registration day at the university, and the young man was preparing to continue the adventure in learning that had been going on so long it seemed to have no beginning and no end. Lost in thought,

his mind racing with possibilities for what lay ahead,

he barely noticed the old man in front of him until he bumped straight into him. "I'm sorry, Professor," the young man said, embarrassed. "Oh, I'm not a professor, " the old man replied.

"I'm a new stu-

dent, just like you." "But how old are you?" the young man said in shock. "I'm seventy-three, " the old man said with a twinkle in his eye. "And what are you studying?" the young man continued. "Medicine—I've always wanted to be a doctor,

and now ..."

The old man paused as if remembering something from a long time ago. "Now I'm finally ready to follow my dreams!"

235

PAUL

McKENNA

The young man seemed quite shocked.

"No disrespect, sir, but to

become a doctor will take at least seven years. In seven years, you '11 be eighty years old!" The old man put his hand on the young man's shoulder and looked him straight in the eyes. "God willing," the old man said with a smile, years old whether I follow my dreams or not. "

236

"I'll be eighty

THE P O W E R O F S U G G E S T I O N In my hypnotic shows, I often offer the p e o p l e on stage a posthypnotic suggestion. L o n g after they think their part i n t h e s h o w i s o v e r , e v e r y t i m e I say a k e y w o r d o r p h r a s e t h e y will b e g i n to e n a c t the b e h a v i o r I h a v e s u g g e s t e d to them. T h r o u g h o u t this b o o k , I have b e e n giving suggestions f o r h o w y o u c a n n o t o n l y c h a n g e y o u r life b u t k e e p t h e c h a n g e over the weeks, m o n t h s , a n d years ahead. S o m e o f t h e s e s u g g e s t i o n s w e r e d i r e c t — t h a t is, y o u w i l l h a v e noticed

my

suggesting

them

as

you

read.

However,

others were i n d i r e c t — e m b e d d e d into the text in order to send t h e m directly into y o u r unconscious m i n d a n d designed to be triggered by the natural occurrences that h a p p e n i n e v e r y o n e ' s life. Please k n o w this:

Every single one of those suggestions will assist you in creating the life of your dreams, including the ones you are not even aware of yet. I n o r d e r t o facilitate a n d r e i n f o r c e y o u r o n g o i n g success, I h a v e c r e a t e d t h e f o l l o w i n g daily success w o r k o u t . T h i s is the s a m e r o u t i n e I use every m o r n i n g to set myself u p f o r a w o n d e r f u l day. I s u g g e s t t h a t f o r t h e n e x t w e e k o r so, y o u follow this r o u t i n e exactly as I have d e s i g n e d it f o r

237

PAUL

McKENNA

Your Daily Success Workout 1. Begin by taking three d e e p breaths. Each time you breathe in, feel any areas of tension and stress in your body. Each time you breathe out, feel yourself letting go and relaxing into a lovely, peaceful state. 2. Imagine the qualities of your authentic self. See yourself going through your day as your authentic self. Do this several times until it b e c o m e s easy to imagine. 3. Now, review your top five values. Take a moment to really feel each one, and once again guide your mind through the day ahead. Each time you do this, you are programming yourself to have a wonderful day! 4. Use the inner smile to activate your endorphin response. Smile into every area of yourself and keep feeling better and better and better. 5. Review your big dream. Ask your mind to guide you in thought, word, and action to do and say exactly the right things to make your dreams c o m e true for the highest g o o d of all concerned. 6. What are you most grateful for in your life? Spend at least one minute focused on all the g o o d things you already have and everything that's right with your world. 7. Finish by taking three more d e e p breaths. This time, allow each breath in to fill you with energy, and each breath out to energize you even more.

238

Change Your Life in Seven Days

you. As y o u b e c o m e m o r e familiar with the techniques in the b o o k , y o u c a n b e g i n to substitute o t h e r exercises for the ones written here. By m a k i n g time in y o u r day to prog r a m y o u r m i n d with positive suggestions, y o u r e n e r g y a n d m o t i v a t i o n will i n c r e a s e a n d y o u will b e c o m e h a p p i e r , s t r o n g e r , a n d m o r e c r e a t i v e a s y o u r life c o n t i n u e s t o g e t e v e n better. W i t h p r a c t i c e , y o u will find y o u c a n c o m p l e t e this r o u t i n e i n a s l i t t l e a s five m i n u t e s . H o w e v e r , I r e c o m m e n d that w h e n e v e r possible, y o u take at least fifteen m i n u t e s t o r e a l l y s e t y o u r s e l f u p f o r t h e day. A s M a h a t m a G a n d h i o n c e said in the midst of his c a m p a i g n to create a free a n d self-governing India: T h a v e s o m u c h t o d o t o d a y I will n e e d t o m e d i t a t e twice as l o n g ! "

HOW G O O D CAN IT GET? Finally, a s w e r e a c h t h e e n d o f t h e b o o k , I ' d like t o talk a b o u t t h e f u t u r e . Y o u m a y r e m e m b e r that I started this b o o k b y t a l k i n g a b o u t h o w w e live i n a truly e x c i t i n g t i m e i n o u r p l a n e t ' s history. T h e s e days t h e r e i s m o r e i n f o r m a tion to absorb, m o r e to learn, a n d m o r e opportunities than ever before. As the pace of c h a n g e gets quicker a n d quicker, the creative t e c h n o l o g y we have n o w is able to constantly u p g r a d e a n d i m p r o v e itself. A h u n d r e d a n d fifty y e a r s a g o t h e t e l e g r a p h first m a d e i t p o s s i b l e t o s e n d m e s s a g e s quickly over great distances.

239

Within

thirty years,

the

PAUL

McKENNA

Your Daily Success Workout 1. Begin by taking three d e e p breaths. Each time you breathe in, feel any areas of tension and stress in your body. Each time you breathe out, feel yourself letting go and relaxing into a lovely, peaceful state. 2. Imagine the qualities of your authentic self. See yourself going through your day as your authentic self. Do this several times until it b e c o m e s easy to imagine. 3. Now, review your top five values. Take a moment to really feel each one, and once again guide your mind through the day ahead. Each time you do this, you are programming yourself to have a wonderful day! 4. Use the inner smile to activate your endorphin response. Smile into every area of yourself and keep feeling better and better and better. 5. Review your big dream. Ask your mind to guide you in thought, word, and action to do and say exactly the right things to make your dreams c o m e true for the highest g o o d of all concerned. 6. What are you most grateful for in your life? Spend at least one minute focused on all the g o o d things you already have and everything that's right with your world. 7. Finish by taking three more d e e p breaths. This time, allow each breath in to fill you with energy, and each breath out to energize you even more.

238

Change

Your Life in Seven Days

you. As y o u b e c o m e m o r e familiar with the techniques in the b o o k , y o u c a n b e g i n to substitute o t h e r exercises for the ones written here. By m a k i n g time in y o u r day to prog r a m y o u r m i n d with positive suggestions, y o u r e n e r g y a n d m o t i v a t i o n w i l l i n c r e a s e a n d y o u will b e c o m e h a p p i e r , s t r o n g e r , a n d m o r e c r e a t i v e a s y o u r life c o n t i n u e s t o g e t e v e n better. W i t h p r a c t i c e , y o u will f i n d y o u c a n c o m p l e t e this r o u t i n e i n a s little a s f i v e m i n u t e s . H o w e v e r , I r e c o m m e n d that w h e n e v e r possible, y o u take at least fifteen m i n u t e s t o r e a l l y s e t y o u r s e l f u p f o r t h e day. A s M a h a t m a G a n d h i o n c e said in t h e midst of his c a m p a i g n to create a free a n d self-governing India: " I h a v e s o m u c h t o d o t o d a y I will n e e d t o m e d i t a t e twice as l o n g ! "

HOW G O O D C A N IT GET? Finally, a s w e r e a c h t h e e n d o f t h e b o o k , I'd like t o talk a b o u t t h e f u t u r e . Y o u m a y r e m e m b e r t h a t I started this b o o k b y t a l k i n g a b o u t h o w w e live i n a truly e x c i t i n g t i m e i n o u r p l a n e t ' s history. T h e s e days t h e r e i s m o r e i n f o r m a tion to absorb, m o r e to learn, a n d m o r e opportunities than ever before. As the p a c e of c h a n g e gets q u i c k e r a n d quicker, the creative t e c h n o l o g y we have n o w is able to constantly u p g r a d e a n d i m p r o v e itself. A h u n d r e d a n d f i f t y y e a r s a g o t h e t e l e g r a p h first m a d e i t p o s s i b l e t o s e n d m e s s a g e s quickly over

great distances.

239

Within

thirty years,

the

PAUL

McKENNA

t e l e p h o n e h a d arrived, quickly followed 1 he illiterate of the

jjy v o i c e

twenty-first century

f

a

will not b e those who cannot read and

;

a

y^

n

e

d

c

e

recording,

radio,

television,

-mail.

a

n

p l a n e t in

write, but those who cannot learn,

X

n

o

an

w

c o m m u n i c a t e across the instant.

Something h a p

p e n s on o n e side of the w o r l d a n d we c

a

n

w a

tch

it on

our

televisions,

read

unlearn, and

a b o u t it on the W e b , a n d c o m m u n i c a t e

relearn.

a b o u t it by e-mail, all s h a r i n g t h e e x p e —Atvin Toffler

rience ears

simultaneously.

of our

The

eyes

and

telecommunications

net-

w o r k are b e c o m i n g the eyes a n d ears of humanity. M o r e t h a n ever, the m i n d i s n o w t h e d o m i n a n t creative f o r c e o n this p l a n e t . O u r t h o u g h t s a r e m o r e p o w e r ful than they have ever b e e n , a n d with the e x p o n e n t i a l e n h a n c e m e n t s in t e c h n o l o g y we are likely to see s o m e amazing changes in the near future. S o m e scientists b e l i e v e t h a t w i t h i n t h e n e x t f e w y e a r s w e will h a v e a c u r e f o r c a n c e r , d r u g s t o p e r m a n e n d y i n c r e a s e intelligence, cryogenic preservation, a n d genetic control o f a g i n g . V i r t u a l reality, g e n e t i c r e p r o g r a m m i n g , a n d d e v e l o p m e n t s i n n a n o t e c h n o l o g y will o f f e r b e n e f i t s w e c a n n o t e v e n imagine, as today's science fiction b e c o m e s the t e m p l a t e f o r t o m o r r o w ' s s c i e n c e fact. W e s t a n d , m a n y o f u s unknowingly, on the edge of an amazing leap in h u m a n ity's e v o l u t i o n . T o m a k e this l e a p , w e n e e d a radical shift i n o u r values. Rather than continually looking for fulfillment in the outside world, w h i c h has m a d e us overly competitive

240

Change

Your Life in Seven Days

a n d selfish, w e n e e d t o b e g i n t o f i n d m o r e c o n t e n t m e n t within. I believe that a n e w a g e of p s y c h o t e c h n o l o g y is u p o n us, a n d the kind of techniques we've b e e n using in this b o o k will b e c o m e w h a t m o r e a n d m o r e p e o p l e t u r n to in o r d e r to h e l p b r i n g a b o u t positive c h a n g e s at every level of society. T h e s e d a y s , a c o u n t r y ' s w e a l t h i s n o l o n g e r g a u g e d b y its physical resources. Instead, it is ideas a n d their i m p l e m e n tation that create wealth. T h e real source of wealth is in o u r m i n d s , a n d t h o s e o f u s w i t h t h e r i c h e s t i d e a s will c r e a t e the greatest wealth in the world. Just think for a m o m e n t — y o u possess o n e o f the m o s t valuable a n d p o w e r f u l pieces o f e q u i p m e n t i n the w o r l d right b e t w e e n y o u r ears! Y o u have l e a r n e d s o m e p o w e r f u l ways t o r u n y o u r o w n brain. T h e positive software that y o u have p u t into y o u r m i n d will b e g i n t o m a n i f e s t m o r e a n d m o r e b e n e f i c i a l r e s u l t s e a c h day. T h e f a c t t h a t y o u ' v e c h o s e n t o i n v e s t i n y o u r o w n e v o l u t i o n sets y o u a p a r t f r o m t h e m a s s e s . It's a d e c i s i o n t h a t w i l l e n r i c h t h e q u a l i t y o f y o u r life m a n y times over, b e c a u s e life is o n l y as a m a z i n g as t h e w a y y o u c h o o s e t o l i v e it. A s y o u p r a c t i c e t h e t e c h n i q u e s i n this b o o k , t a k i n g responsibility for p r o g r a m m i n g your o w n m i n d , y o u are putting yourself at the forefront of o u r culture. Y o u are b e c o m i n g a leader, a n d the choices y o u m a k e a b o u t w h e r e a n d h o w y o u l e a d will b e c o m e i n c r e a s i n g l y s i g n i f i c a n t . As

you

continue

on

your journey

to

the

life

of

y o u r d r e a m s , I w o u l d like t o leave y o u w i t h this B u d d h i s t blessing:

241

About the Author

PAUL MCKENNA, P H . D . , is t h e w o r l d ' s l e a d i n g h y p °

'

o t i s t

His T V shows have b e e n w a t c h e d i n forty-two c o u °

t n e s

by more than 500 million p e o p l e a r o u n d t h e worldHe has appeared on Good Morning America, The ^* > eW

Entertainment Tonight, MTV, PrimeTime Live,

The Montel

Williams Show, Ricki Lake, The Sally Jesse Raphael Show, Leeza, The Maury Povitch Show, The Howard Stern Shov), a n d CNN among many others. His award-winning c o m e d y h y p n o t i c s h o w p l a y * e(

Broadway and i n L o n d o n ' s West E n d , r e c e i v i n g

r

a

o n

v

e

reviews. He is a bestselling author, a n d his private clients include rock stars, movie stars, s u p e r m o d e l s , a n d r o y a l t y Recently, the London Times n a m e d h i m as o n e o f the t o p ten m o d e m gurus, alongside D e e p a k C h o p r a , N e k ° Mandela, and the Dalai L a m a .

n

PAUL

McKENNA

May you be safe and protected. May you be happy and peaceful. May you be healthy and strong. May you carry your life with ease and grace. Until next we meet, Paul

McKenna

242

About the Author

PAUL M C K E N N A , P H . D . , i s t h e w o r l d ' s l e a d i n g h y p n o t i s t . His TV shows have b e e n watched in forty-two countries b y m o r e t h a n 500 m i l l i o n p e o p l e a r o u n d t h e w o r l d . He h a s a p p e a r e d on Entertainment Williams Leeza,

Tonight,

Show,

Ricki

Good Morning America,

MTV, Lake,

PrimeTime The

The Maury Povitch Show,

Live,

Sally Jesse

The The

View, Montel

Raphael

Show,

The Howard Stern Show,

and

C N N a m o n g many others. His award-winning c o m e d y hypnotic show played on Broadway and

in

London's

West End,

receiving

rave

reviews. He

is

a bestselling author,

a n d his

private

clients

i n c l u d e r o c k stars, m o v i e stars, s u p e r m o d e l s , a n d royalty. R e c e n d y , t h e London Times n a m e d h i m a s o n e o f t h e t o p ten m o d e r n gurus,

alongside Deepak Chopra,

Mandela, a n d the Dalai Lama.

Nelson