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Desiree Holt
BLIND ECSTASY
Desiree Holt
Erotic Romance
Secret Cravings Publishing www.secretcravingspublishing.com
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Desiree Holt
A Secret Cravings Publishing Book Erotic Romance
BLIND ECSTASY Copyright © 2012 Desiree Holt E-book ISBN: 978-1-61885-346-2
First E-book Publication: July 2012 Cover design by Dawne Dominique Edited by Elise Hepner Proofread by Rene Flowers All cover art and logo copyright © 2012 by Secret Cravings Publishing ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission. All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental. PUBLISHER Secret Cravings Publishing www.secretcravingspublishing.com
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Dedication To all the woman with secret fantasies of their own
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The Cravings e-book Club The Cravings Paranormal e-book Club Have you heard about the newest idea in ebooks, the ebook club? Secret Cravings Publishing has started two ebook clubs and we invite you to become a member of either The Cravings e-book Club or the Cravings Paranormal e-book Club. Join now and get two books absolutely free! As a member, you will receive Taming The Cougar* by Sandy Sullivan and Hunting Jaguar** by D. McEntire FREE, just for joining! You’ll also receive 4 BRAND-NEW EBOOKS, specially selected by our Editorial Director, every month for a total price of only $9.99 for all 4. This comes out to barely $2.50 per book, much less than the retail price and you’ll be able to enjoy your books even before they hit Amazon or Barnes & Noble. We send your books before they are uploaded to the popular sales sites. One of several privileges of club membership.
*Taming the Cougar, a western, erotic romance: Marla isn't looking for love or anything else from a man. Can Marla put aside her distrust of men for a younger man? Can Chris convince her he's not like other guys? **Hunting Jaguar, paranormal erotic romance: Rachel Hayes' Father set out to prove the existence of the Miloni temple and the Jaguar people. Tumi is a descendant of the Miloni race and is sworn to protect their secret with his life. Will he be forced to uphold his vow at the cost of his heart and Rachel's life?
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BLIND ECSTASY Desiree Holt Copyright © 2012
Chapter One “No, I don’t have any special plans for my birthday,” Johanna Devlin told her sister Kira. “And I don’t intend to make any. I’d just as soon let it pass unnoticed, if it’s all the same to you.” The two of them were in her living room where Kira had tracked her down on a rainy Saturday. Jo lay back against the pillows on the couch, tired of having this argument every year with her sister. The last time she’d celebrated her birthday was ten years ago when Sean Murphy had proposed to her. He’d told her that it was time they cemented their D/s relationship and he’d had something made especially for her to celebrate. She was sure it was a collar, a symbol of ownership in the D/s community. That had given her an immense feeling of pride and sense of belonging, that he would shout to the world that she was his. He disappeared the next day and she hadn’t heard from him since. No letter. No call. Not even a text or an email. So her birthday wasn’t something she enjoyed celebrating or even acknowledging. It had become a day in the year to get past, to shut down memories of pain and hurt In the intervening years she’d managed to dull most of the ache in her heart but traces of the feeling still lingered. At any moment it could come roaring back and consume her. She was tired of reliving what happened but traces of the memory clung to her like glue, never quite allowing her to get past it.
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“You can’t keep hiding from life forever, Jo,” Kira told her, pacing the floor. “The guy’s been gone for four years. I mean, come on, now.” Jo threw up her hands. “I know it’s irrational and I don’t know how to explain it. All the books talk about soul mates. The one person with whom you know in an instant you want to spend the rest of your life. Well, that’s how it was with us. And I can’t get past it, even after all this time. Kira snorted. “Tell me something I don’t know. When was the last time you even had a date?” Jo tossed a pillow at her while she was in midstride, watched her friend catch it, and throw it onto the couch with a frown. “I’m not interested in a date. No. Nada. Can I say it enough?” “You’re going to turn into a shriveled old maid.” Kira stopped her pacing long enough to pause in front of Jo and her face softened. “Sweetie, I know Sean did a number on you but at some point you’re going to have to get past it. Get on with things. Live a little.” “I do live. A little.” “Yeah,” Kira snorted. “A very little.” She dropped into the big armchair that sat at an angle to the couch. “Why don’t you come to Fantasy with me for your birthday?” Jo’s entire body tightened. Fantasy was the bondage club where she and Sean had met. Once their relationship developed they only went back on special occasions. She hadn’t been near the place since he’d disappeared. She certainly couldn’t go there for her birthday. It was the last place she and Sean had been together. Too many memories would leap at her from the walls. She shook her head. “I can’t do it. Without him it’s…different.” Kira studied her. “Jo, you’re a born submissive. We both are. That’s why we applied for membership at Fantasy to begin with. You’ve completely shut down that part of yourself for the past four years. That’s neither healthy or normal.” Kira smiled. “Give yourself a break, okay?”
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Desiree Holt “Don’t push me. Please?” Jo wrapped her arms around herself, wishing they were Sean’s arms. He always made her
feel so safe and secure, so wrapped in the warmth of his love. He never failed to stir either her emotions or her body. They’d been so very good together. Would she ever be able to get him out of her mind? “Okay. I won’t push. But will you at least think about it? You can’t hide in the house from your life forever.” Was that what she was doing? Probably. Except for her work as an event planner she had stripped everything else from her life. Her clients thought she walked on water because she immersed herself in each event as if it was the only thing that existed. What they didn’t realize was that—for her—the events were her life. She might as well face the fact that she was vicariously living everyone else’s existence because hers hurt too much. Sean, what happened? Why did you leave me that way? You proposed to me in such a unique way. There in the club, in the room we’d come to think of as ours. Me on my knees before you in submissive pose. When you released the handcuffs around my wrists you brought my hands around in front of me, cradled them to your lips, and kissed each finger. You told me how much you loved me. Asked me to marry you and live with you forever. Damn you, you fell of the face of the earth. Was it something I said? Something I did? She couldn’t face going to Fantasy without him. She could still sense the sting of the single tail whip he loved as it snapped against her ass and thighs. She remembered the sensation of warm wax as he dripped the sensual heat onto her skin during wax play. And she’d never forget how with great love and tenderness he pushed her to expand her limits, to let him take her right to the edge of pleasure each and every time. She was sure the orgasms she’d experienced with him she’d never feel with anyone else. Sean was the perfect Dom. She’d seen others who were harsh, who demanded more than their subs could give, who didn’t give their subs the proper respect. But Sean was caring, attentive,
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possessive, and respectful. He was well aware of the power exchange between them. At night, when she closed her eyes, the image of him naked shimmered in her brain. His tall, powerful, tanned body gleamed in soft lamplight, muscles rippling beneath the skin. Fire shone from his emerald eyes in a square, masculine face framed by rich, brown hair that brushed his collar. Even now the thought of him ratcheted up the pulse throbbing in her pussy. Longing made her ache for his mouth on her nipples. “Hello, earth to Johanna?” Her mind snapped to attention as Kira’s voice penetrated her erotic fog. She hoped her wild thoughts hadn’t caused her to blush. “Sorry. I was just—,” her voice faded off. “Just thinking about Sean.” Kira moved from the chair, sat next to her sister on the couch, and took one of her hands. “I know, honey, and I ache for you. I just wish there was something I could say or do to make you feel better.” “If I just knew what happened—” She drew her knees up under her chin, collapsing her body as if she could squeeze out the painful memories. A sharp spike of emotional pain speared through her from head to toe. “One day he’s here, an up-and-coming lawyer working for the government. The next day he’s gone and no one knows where he went. Or else they won’t tell me.” “That’s so weird.” Kira frowned. “I mean, to not tell you anything?” “They only told me when I went to his office that he’d been transferred to one of their other offices and they weren’t sure if he wanted me to know where he was.” Jo shivered. “His boss gave me the creeps. Grey suit, grey hair, grey eyes. No smile. No expression at all, as a matter of fact. He looks like he’s not even human.” “Maybe something happened to him?” Kira suggested. Jo shook her head.
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Desiree Holt “They’d at least have told me that. Nope, I think he had buyer’s remorse, got his boss to
send him to Timbuktu or wherever their other offices are, and completely forgot about me.” “But if something did happen,” Kira persisted, “you might be able to forgive him. Right?” Jo snorted. “It would have to be something really disastrous.” She stood up. “Let’s drop it. I don’t want to talk about him anymore.” “Okay, but will you at least think about going to Fantasy on your birthday?” Kira smiled at her sister. “A gift from me. Something special. I’ve paid the cover and made the arrangements. They have my specific instructions. If you get there and decide you don’t want to play, my feelings won’t be hurt. But damn it, Jo, try going there once and see if the atmosphere works. Okay?” Jo threw up her hands. “Alright, already. I’ll do it. But don’t blame me if the whole night’s a disaster.” “Just go with the flow. You might be surprised.” **** The hotel room was pretty much standard luxury issue—king-sized bed, a conversation area, a work area for laptops and other electronic devices. Sean Murphy impatiently paced the room, raking his fingers through his shoulder-length hair. It was a new look, along with the short beard that concealed the scar on his chin. There was nothing he could do about the ones on his body. He stopped and turned toward Kira, sitting cross-legged in one of the arm chairs. “So she said yes?” “After a lot of pushing and arguing,” Kira told him. “Listen, Sean. Don’t you think it would be better if you called her or went to see her and told her what happened? It’s not like the situation wouldn’t be something she couldn’t understand.” “Oh, right.”
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First I’d have to tell her I lied to her about my job. Then I’d have to lay out a tale that sounds like something out of a movie or a work of fiction. “It’s better than having her believe you walked out on her.” “Yeah? Tell me how you’d react to the truth?” He paused and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Hi honey, sorry I ran out on you the way I did, but some things came up. See, I wasn’t really a government lawyer, although I have a law degree. I’m part of a covert agency that tracks and “disposes” of bad guys. Our entire operation is off the government books. The day after I proposed I got called away on a critical mission to South America. Only, shit happened, I got captured.” “Ohmigod!” Kira covered her mouth with the tips of her fingers. He scrubbed his face with his hands. “These are not nice people. They threw me in a concrete cell and barely gave me enough to eat or drink. When they got drunk at night they’d draw straws to see whose turn it was to beat on the prisoner. Some days, I prayed to die.” “Jesus, Sean. How long were you there? “Three years. Took the agency that long to find me and rescue me. It took another year for me to recover. My voice will never be what it once was after the damage to my vocal chords. But hey, here I am, ready to pick up where we left off!” He held his arms wide. “Sean, you don’t give my sister enough credit.” “I don’t want to screw this up.” He rubbed the ridged scar on the back of his neck from the rope where his captors often pretended to hang him. They’d tighten a noose around his neck and stand him on a short stool. There was some kind of game to see who got to kick the stool out from under him. And as he’d sense squeezing pressure on his throat they’d untie the noose and drop him to the floor. In the beginning, he’d panicked every time it happened. Trying to hold his weight in a way that would
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ease pressure from the noose. He’d tried kicking out at whatever guard came forward to push the stool away. After months of this and other forms of torture, both mental and physical, he’d begin to wonder if dying might not be his best option. Even now he’d wake up at night, covered with sweat, heart pounding, feeling as if he were choking. It had taken every bit of the past year to learn how to control those dreams. The panic. So many mind games. Maybe he was screwed up and should forget this whole thing. “You won’t screw it up. She agreed to the trip to Fantasy for her birthday. You make all the arrangements and I’ll set the stage. I can at least convince her to let them prepare her and take her to a private room. After that, it’s up to you.” “Tell me something,” Kira coaxed and cocked an eyebrow at him. “What made you think I’d listen to you when you called me at work, Sean? At first I thought someone was scamming me.” “I figured you’d think that. Which is why you nearly punched my lights out when I came to your apartment that night.” “Damn right,” she blew out a breath. “After watching my sister suffering all this time? You’re lucky I didn’t kill you.” “Why didn’t you?” he asked. “Because you looked like such a wreck I was sure something bad must have happened to you. I decided to at least hear you out.” He barked a short laugh. “I hope my appearance has improved since then.” “Good food, rest, and a gym will work wonders for a man,” she agreed. “Do you really think you’re ready to see her now?” The memory of Jo made his cock harden with need. “Oh, yeah. I’m ready.” He paused. “Wish me luck?” Kira smiled at him. “Of course. You’re going to need it.” ****
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“I don’t know why you had to make this so elaborate,” Jo complained, watching the limo pull up at the curb. “I mean the fancy ride, the new dress, and all.” “Because I want tonight to be very special. By the way, that dress looks wicked good on you.” “What there is of it. “ Jo looked down at the short slip-dress, some kind of filmy material in screaming red that barely covered her from her nipples to the tops of her thighs. “And why no underwear?” Kira chuckled. “The better for him to catch your scent, my dear.” “Him?” She cocked her head and gave her sister a questioning look. “Him who?” “I told you. I arranged for a particular Dom for your birthday that will make the night extremely memorable for you. He’ll be perfect, I promise. And hopefully, will help you get past those bad memories you keep next to you like a second skin.” Kira frowned. “If you don’t chicken out, that is.” “I promised I’d at least meet him in the room and I will. But after that?” Jo shrugged. “We’ll see.” But she was already anticipating the evening, something she hadn’t expected would happen. The throbbing in her cunt was back and stronger than ever. Her breasts ached for the grip of a man’s hand, her nipples tightened for the painful restraint of nipple clamps. The more she thought about the kiss of the lash on her skin, the slap of the paddle, and a Dom’s filling cock in her mouth, the wetter she got beneath her sexy dress. For the first time since Sean disappeared she wanted that pleasure/pain. A bite that could send her high over the top into orgasm. The muscles in her tummy tightened and her pussy ached with need. Pulling in a deep breath she slowly let it out and opened the front door. The limo driver was holding open the passenger side door. “Let it all hang out, sweetie,” Kira called.
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Desiree Holt “We’ll see.” Jo took the driver’s hand and let him usher her into the rear of the limo. He closed the door,
hoofed it around to the front, and climbed in behind the wheel. As the vehicle pulled away from the curb she glanced through the window to see Kira smiling and waving at her. Butterflies began tap-dancing in her stomach to an accelerated rhythm. The rhythm of uncertainty mixed with unexpected anticipation.
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Chapter Two Fantasy discreetly stood in the north side of the city, an adobe structure with a red barrel tile roof. It sat squarely between a one-story office building and another Spanish-style building housing a home design firm. The difference between the three structures was that Fantasy owned all the property behind it to allow sufficient space for parking. Visitors entered through a canopied door at the rear of the building. The limo deposited her right at the canopy, the driver opened her door, and she slid across the seat. She pressed the doorbell set into the adobe and swallowed hard to steady her nerves. When the heavy carved wooden door swung open she stepped into the oak-paneled reception area on legs suddenly slightly unsteady. “Good evening, Miss Johanna.” Lila, the greeter, smiled at her. “We haven’t had the pleasure of your visits for some time.” Jo smoothed her hands down the flimsy material of her dress. “No, I’ve been, uh, somewhat busy.” “Well, we’re certainly glad you’ve chosen to celebrate your birthday with us. Your sister has made all the arrangements. I trust you’ll find them to your liking.” “One can hope,” she muttered. “Excuse me?” “Nothing.” Jo pasted on a smile. “I’m ready for the festivities to begin.” “I’m positive you’ll enjoy the evening planned for you,” Lila smoothly said. “Let’s get your
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purse into a locker.” She lifted a hand and beckoned. “Jason? Our special guest is here.” Special guest? Jo frowned. Exactly how special? She wondered if she’d regret agreeing to this. Her palms dampened and her throat was suddenly dry. She might have turned and run back out the door, but Jason gave her a warm smile. Black leather pants and a vest outlined a husky figure that was solid muscle. His long blond hair was intricately braided with a thin silver rope and hung down his back nearly to his waist. He was a familiar face to her, a dungeon master with whom she’d interacted many times. “Happy birthday, Miss Johanna.” He grinned at her. “We’re happy you’re spending it with us here at Fantasy.” “Thanks, Jason.” She gave him a weak smile. “I think.” “Miss Kira was very specific about tonight’s arrangements.” He winked, took her arm, and led her down a short hallway to the room where people stowed their possessions and clothing before entering the club. When Jason reached for her purse she tightly clutched it, overcome with a sudden urge to turn and make a break for the door. But the tall man placed his hand over one of hers and gave her a reassuring squeeze. “I know you have some reservations because you haven’t been here to play in a long time,” he told her. “But let me assure you, tonight will fulfill your greatest fantasies.” Jo had plenty of misgivings, considering the man of her fantasies had disappeared off the face of the earth. Could she actually be with another Dom in a place where she and Sean had been completely intimate and explored nearly every aspect of BDSM? Yes, you can. Kira’s voice echoed in her brain. Jo deliberately pushed back the doubts as she handed over her purse and tried to calm her jittery nerves. “As you know, Miss Johanna, a major factor in D/s play is the stimulation of the senses and
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raising them to their most acute level of response. When one sense is dampened, the others become even more sensitive.” “Yes. But why are you telling me this?” “Because one of the things Miss Kira insisted on—and your partner for the evening—was that you be blindfolded.” “Oh, wait. Jason, I don’t know—“ “Trust us. Trust me.” He pulled a square of silk from his pocket and carefully folded it into a long strip. “Relax and prepare to enjoy your evening.” Well, she’d made up her mind that tonight would be a new and fresh start for her. No backing out now. Jo tightly clasped her hands together as Jason placed the silk over her eyes. She was plunged into blackness at once. The rasp of her breathing became magnified. The whisper of the air conditioning like a tiny breeze on her skin. “Come now.” Jason took her hand. “Your Master awaits.” She tightly clutched his hand as he led her from the room. The carpet in the hallway was soft beneath her heels as he led her further down toward her room and an adventure. A door opened while a slight pressure of Jason’s hand at the small of her back made her jump. He pushed her forward until she was inside the room. “Your sub, Sir.” Jason nudged her forward. “Thank you.” The hoarse, masculine voice was unfamiliar to Jo. Oh, well. It was probably a Dom she hadn’t met before but one Kira thought would take care of her properly. Her sister would never have entrusted her to anyone’s care unless she knew him well. She had to fasten on to that
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thought “I’m sure we’ll be fine,” he purred. The lock on the door clicked into place behind her and she was alone in the room. But with who? She shifted from foot to foot and wet her lips. “Don’t be afraid.” The voice was warm and reassuring, not unpleasant despite its rasp. “I know what you like and I’m here to provide it for you. Do you understand?” Because he had asked her a question she knew he was giving her implicit permission to speak. “You know what I want? Oh, right. My sister put that all in the request.?” A soft chuckle. “Just know that this will be a night you’ll never forget.” She heard a sharp, quick intake of breath. “Your scent is incredible. You’re already aroused and the sweet aroma makes me very hard.” “Thank you. I’m glad it pleases you,” she tried to control the quaver in her voice. I can’t be this nervous. For god’s sake, what am I, a virgin? “Oh, it pleases me a great deal. Now, I’ve been told your safe word is shamrock. Is that correct?” She nodded. “Does it have special meaning for you?” For a moment, pain lanced through her heart and she had to force it back. She couldn’t afford to think about Sean tonight. She’d be distracted from what was meant to be a healing process and throw herself right back into the same knot of agony she’d been living with every day. “It did. Once.” He paused, as if thinking about it. “Fine, I don’t intend to change it.”
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His large hands ran over her body, paused to cup her breasts, and tweaked her nipples. His palms were warm, his fingers long and lean. Little shards of pleasurable pain surged through her breasts and down to her pussy. His digits skimmed over her tummy and reached beneath the very short skirt of her dress to find her pussy. “Slick,” he breathed across her cheeks, as his fingers opened her folds. “Soft and wet. Have you touched yourself tonight?” “No, Sir. The directions my sister gave me forbade me to.” His laugh was rusty-sounding, as if he hadn’t used it in a long time. Still, there was no mistaking the hunger in his tone. “I’m going to taste you. Taste your essence. Slide my tongue inside you and coat my mouth with your juices.” He took one of her hands and tugged her forward. “That dress turns me on,” he told her, “but I think we need to get rid of it.” He slowly drew the fabric over her head, leaving her clad only in her wickedly high heels. “Raise your arms,” he commanded. When she did as she was told he took each wrist in turn and snapped a manacle around the vulnerable skin. When Jo moved her arms she realized the cuffs were attached to chains that descended from the ceiling. They were long enough to allow her to stand almost on tiptoe, her entire body strung out like a tension wire. Heat washed over her at being restrained in a way that always aroused her. This had been a habit with Sean, who told her it gave him free access to every part of her body. “I understand that this is how you favor punishment sessions with your Master.” Oh, yes. Submitting completely to Sean’s punishment while strung up and vulnerable always turned her on. Sometimes she had even pushed him and did something to irritate him to enhance the intensity of their session. She’d object or speak out of turn. He always laughed and told her she was a perfect sub, a woman who gave herself completely to him in all aspects yet never lost that little wild streak inside her.
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Desiree Holt Now the Dom moved behind her and his hard cock brushed against the back of her thigh.
Skin on skin. Naked? He was naked! Oh My God! Her hands itched to touch him, her tongue demanded a taste of him, and her body wanted to imprint itself on him. She inhaled the masculine scent that clung to him. There was something vaguely familiar about him that made the muscles of her cunt clench with hunger and her pulse throb. His hands moved over her skin following the curve of her buttock. When he smacked his hand hard against her ass she jolted with the unexpectedness of his touch. But the familiar rush of heat flooded her and she wanted more of the pain that was so arousing to her. It had been so very long. “Such a beautiful shade of red,” he murmured. “Let’s see if we can add to it.” The next slap was harder than the first, with more of a sharp sting, as were the others that followed. Her ass was getting warmer and warmer as were her thighs and her pussy, the fire spread from place to place. The sound of his hand on her skin grew sharper with each slap. Her blood raced and her pulse pounded. When the spankings stopped altogether she wanted to beg for more, but she knew enough to simply stay there, head tipped forward. She could smell her arousal so she was sure the Dom could, also. Her breathing accelerated and heat crawled over her skin. A warm hand smoothed over her ass cheeks and slid between her thighs to touch her pussy. Test the slickness of her core. “I feel how much you enjoy that, girl. You’re even wetter than before.” There was satisfaction in his voice. “Yes, Sir. Thank you.” “You’re welcome, girl.” She sensed him move to stand in front of her. In a moment he pressed a light kiss to each breast . Light shivers skated over her skin. “Sweet girl, your responses are so acute, so intense, I’m thinking you haven’t been properly punished for a long time, have you?”
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“No, Sir, I haven’t.” And she hadn’t realized how much she’d missed it. “Perhaps we need to make up for that. I have a nice flogger here begging to kiss your sweet, sweet ass.” “Yes, Sir, that would be very nice.” Tremors of anticipation at the flogger’s kiss ran through her body. What she really wanted was the whip but she knew better than to ask for it. Especially with an unknown Dom where the choice of instrument was always his and his alone. She was still imagining the sting of the lash when the first blow of the flogger fell. She jerked in response. No touching her ass first. No tender caress or warm-up this time. The full force of his strength rippled behind the blow. And she welcomed every powerful maneuver the coil of lust spiraling up from deep inside her soul. Sean used to tell her she was a punishment junkie and she was sure he was right. The more severe the pain, the more aroused she became. Jo’s body swayed with each slap of the flogger on her already heated, stinging flesh. She heard the Dom heavily breathing and wished he would stand close enough to her so she could sense his cock brushing against her again. But she stopped thinking as pain consumed her body. She welcomed it, soaked it in, and embraced it. How had she gone so long without this sweet, dark kiss? By the time he finished Jo was riding the edge of orgasm, doing her best to control it because her Master had not given her permission to come. Every slap of the flogger, every lightning strike of pain, brought her closer and closer to the edge. Some Doms liked to prolong the punishment phase, spacing out the blows so that anticipation upped the arousal. Jo had always loved the way Sean moved hard and fast. It was obvious that Kira had conveyed that information. When he slid two fingers into her pussy again she clenched her muscles down on them and tried to ride his hand. He immediately withdrew and nipped her shoulder.
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Desiree Holt “I love an anxious sub,” he told her. “But you know the rules. You come only on my
command.” He pinched both nipples, the nip of pain flushing through her body to blend with the pain caused by the flogger. Please, please let me come. But she clamped her lips together to swallow the words. “Such gorgeous, ripe buds.” He pulled first one, then the other into his mouth and swirled his tongue around them before he grazed them with his teeth. A little whimper of pleasure whispered from her lips. “I think they need some decorations, though” Oh, god, it had been so long since she’d felt the bite of metal against her flesh from a pair of nipple clamps. At the first pinch, she bit her lower lip. Harder, squeeze them more. As if he’d heard her, his fingers tightened the base of the clamps on each nipple. Jo visualized her swollen flesh turning a deep rose. Pain that rode the edge of sweetness stabbed through each breast, enhancing the sensation. She welcomed the feeling, falling into subspace. Everything around her ceased to exist except her body and the need for herDom to take the punishment higher. Make it more intense. His hands followed the curve of her hips and down the sides of her thighs. When his fingers slid over to open the lips of her pussy she had to bite her lip not to cry out. Desire was swamping her, taking her right to the edge of orgasm. It took every bit of self-control to keep from falling over the edge—control she needed even more when his tongue flicked back and forth over her clit. The muscles in her cunt clenched and unclenched as the need for orgasm intensified. In the darkness, every single touch, every sensation was magnified. Every response became more extreme. That soft chuckle vibrated against her pussy as his lips pressed to her wet flesh. “So delicious.” He lapped at her, his tongue teasing at her entrance. Shudders racked her, again and again.
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“I know you want to come. I can feel it in the tension of your body. Feel the little tremors in this sweet cunt.” He sucked hard on her clit, her inner muscles clenching even more, breasts aching, her entire body tightening to control her need. “But you can’t come,” he reminded her. “Not until I tell you to.” He slid one finger inside her. “Ohhh, Sir.” She was having trouble breathing. “Please, please, may I come?” He slowly dragged his finger from the clasp of her inner muscles. “Not yet. But soon.” She sensed the whisper of air as he moved away. His hands released the manacles around her wrists and he eased her down to her feet. His strong fingers massaged her arms to relieve the strain. There seemed to be exceptional tenderness in his touch, although that might be wishful thinking on her part. Still, Kira would not have arranged for a Dom who wouldn’t be sensitive to her needs. Especially not when Jo hadn’t played for so long and the memories of Sean were still clear and sharp. “Submissive pose,” he ordered. Jo dropped to her knees, head bent, hands clasped behind her back. “Excellent. Now open that sweet mouth.” She obeyed him and in seconds the head of his cock rested on her lower lip. She remembered how much Sean had always loved this part of play and she closed her mouth over the full, rigid shaft. He tasted of clean male and desire. His thick cock slid onto her tongue and the scent of his musk filled her nostrils. The act gave her so much pleasure she thought she could do this forever. “Good,” he praised. “Very good. I’ve been told you’re very talented at this. Let’s see if that’s the truth.” His fingers cupped her jaw, firmly holding her in place as his cock inched deeper into her mouth. The swollen thickness of his cock slid over her tongue, the head touching the roof of her
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mouth. Jo automatically tilted her head back to allow him deeper penetration. He very slowly dragged his hips back until only the tip of him was inside her. He pushed forward with the same slow movement. She twisted her tongue to feel the pulsing vein wrapped around the shaft. As he pulled back again, she licked the velvety head, touching the tip of her tongue to the slit. She tried to anticipate each thrust, clamping her lips around him, and using her tongue to taste as much of him as she could. Soon her entire focus was on bringing him pleasure and satisfaction. The harder he pushed into her mouth the deeper he went. Until she had to tip her head all the way back to accommodate the length and girth of him. He moved one of his hands from her jaw to cup her head, fingers threaded through her hair, tightly gripping her skull. The heated length of him nearly warmed her mouth. Suddenly his cock was gone, her mouth empty. She moaned a protest. “I’d love to come in that sweet mouth of yours, girl, but then I wouldn’t be able to come in your pussy. And that’s what I really want. That’s what you want, too, isn’t it?” “Yes, Sir.” She wet her lips. “It would greatly please me.” “Hands and knees,” he ordered and she instantly complied. The carpet was as she remembered it, soft beneath her hands and knees. She knew the club had it woven specially to prevent carpet burn on the subs. Tonight she was especially grateful for it. She sensed the Dom kneel behind her, his legs pressing hers farther apart. Warm hands skimmed over her, his touch both arousing and possessive. He leaned over her, his cock brushing the inside of one of her thighs, the soft hair on his chest brushing the sensitive skin of her back. “Tonight,” he breathed in her ear. “Tonight you are mine. Every inch of you, inside and out.” He moved one hand to caress her still stinging ass and thighs. “I branded you, your punishment turning your skin a delicious red. You’re such a delectable morsel. I wish the brand could be permanent.”
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Fingertips rimmed her anus, rubbing the puckered flesh, and pushing the tip of a digit inside. Jo tensed. No one had ever taken her there except Sean. Yet this Dom’s touch set a dark thrill racing through her until she couldn’t think straight. Maybe this was what she needed to finally put the past aside. “I want to fuck you,” he told her. “To spank that ass with every instrument in that cupboard until your flesh is so red hot you’d think of me every time you sat down for a week. To cuff your wrists and ankles, your body spread wide for me, so I could tease that gorgeous cunt until you screamed for me to let you come.” Jo couldn’t control the soft moan that escaped her mouth. Sean used to feel that way, so possessive, wanting to mark her so everyone would know she was his. So if an interested man approached her the burning sensation on her flesh would remind her she belonged only to him. Even with her desire ratcheted up to an incendiary level, thoughts of Sean crept into her mind. With more willpower than she thought she had, she shut down the thought process, and let the darkness and the velvet cloud of eroticism envelop her from within. “Your nipples look so exquisite with those clamps on them. Have you ever thought of having them pierced?” And there it was, thoughts of Sean intruding again. He’d wanted her to have the piercing done to celebrate their engagement. He’d even bought thin, gold rings tipped in emeralds, her birthstone. She couldn’t seem to get away from him. Tonight was supposed to be about starting a new journey in her life but she couldn’t seem to find the end of the old one. “Answer me, girl.” He lightly slapped one flank. “Y-Yes. I’ve thought about it.” He moved his hand to slip it between her thighs and stroke her soaked labia. The immediate throbbing deep inside her cunt accelerated, the walls hungry to close down on his cock. To tighten around him like a fist. “You should do it,” he told her. “Your nipples deserve it.”
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Desiree Holt All night she’d had a sense of déjà vu and this wasn’t helping. Oh, god. The pain lancing
through her almost destroyed the mood she’d come here to recapture, the feeling of being swept up in an erotic fog where pain and pleasure mingled and nothing else mattered. Memories of Sean surged to the forefront of her mind. She forced the memories away. His fingers, busy at her clit, brought her back. She blanked her mind and gave her body over to the sensations. His tongue traced the length of her spine, sending shivers skating over her skin. He moved his hand from between her thighs and in the next moment she sensed him stand up, heard the crinkle of foil, the slap of latex. The head of his shaft was probing, pushing, opening her wider for him. “Do not come, girl. Not until we can come together.” His raspy voice held a firm tone of command. She nodded her head, afraid if she spoke her thin control would snap. His hands gripped her hips and pulled her back toward his body where he stood behind her. Inch by teasingly slow inch he invaded her with his cock and filled her completely. She clamped down around him like a vise, shuddering at the waves of pleasure washing through her body. Strong fingers gripped her hips, holding her steady, as he drove into her again and again. She rocked with him, every sense acute in the darkness that surrounded them. She smelled his incredible male musk, heard his labored breathing, while his skin brushed against her tingling inner thighs and ass. Everything she felt and heard fed the lust boiling through her. He mercilessly drove into her, pulling almost all the way out when the tremors in her pussy grew more powerful. Jo wasn’t sure how much more teasing pleasure she could stand. “Please, Sir,” she sobbed. “Please let me come now.” She needed the release so badly but knowing he had control over that enhanced it even more. The longer she was forced to hold off, the stronger her orgasm would be when he finally gave permission for the grand finale. He drove harder into her, increasing the pace with his hips. She was hanging onto her control by a very thin thread.
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“Now,” he growled. “Come now for me, girl.” They exploded together, an eruption of such cataclysmic proportions that she knew nothing but the intense spasms shaking her. Shudders gripped her body. She had the sensation of flying through space in a shower of fireworks. She lost all sense of self, completely immersing herself in her powerful orgasm. At last she felt only aftershocks, little tremors that danced on her nerve endings. Her Dom showered her back with kisses, lightly nipped at the nape of her neck before slowly withdrawing from the clasp of her body. He moved away from her for a moment, undoubtedly to dispose of the condom. She heard him moving around off to her right with sounds she couldn’t identify. When he returned, he eased her onto her back, gently massaging her arms and legs, easing the strained muscles. He removed the nipple clamps, soothing her nipples with his tongue as her tormented buds reacted to the sudden return of sensation. Finally he rubbed a soothing lotion over every inch of her body, taking extra care with the places his hand and the flogger had spanked her. His touch was not sexual but caring, a Dom giving his sub appropriate aftercare. By tomorrow most of the discomfort would be gone, the herbs in the balm swiftly healing her strained muscles. “I’ve set some tea to brew,” he told her. “It will be ready in a moment. It should soothe you and relax you so you can rest tonight.” “Thank you.” Tea? He knew she enjoyed tea after a session? Oh, yeah, Kira no doubt told him. Or Jason, who had all these notations in her club folder. “You can’t imagine all the things I wanted to do to you, tonight.” His lips brushed her cheek. “But you haven’t played for so long I promised I’d take it one step at a time. Did you enjoy your birthday present?” “Yes.” She smiled. “Yes, I did.”
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Desiree Holt “Could I persuade you to do this again on another night? You have to know how much I
enjoyed this.” Jo swallowed. Hard. She’d enjoyed it, too. And she thought maybe the experience had broken through the wall she’d built around herself. But to do this again with a strange Dom? Someone who wasn’t Sean? Tonight was great, but she didn’t think she was ready to go beyond this session. “Permission to answer honestly?” she asked. “Of course. You don’t have to hide anything. You’ve been a perfect sub tonight and I’d like to take it further.” “I—Thank you. It’s very flattering to be asked. But I—There’s someone…” “Someone special?” he asked. “Yes.” She pushed back the sadness. “I enjoyed tonight very much, but I don’t think I’m ready to step into this again with a stranger.” “How about with me?” The blindfold was whipped off, a slide of silk against her skin. She blinked against the sudden, dim light. And she found herself staring into Sean Murphy’s eyes. Shock speared through her, paralyzing her at first. For a moment she was so stunned she could do nothing but look at him. All the feelings of anger and betrayal swept through her again with such force she could barely breathe. Once she caught her breath she intently studied him. This wasn’t the Sean Murphy she’d last seen. His eyes were older, as if they’d seen things in the pit of Hell. A thin scar ran from his right eyebrow to his cheekbone and a light beard covered his jawline. She glanced down his body and saw scars everywhere, some thin, others thicker. She couldn’t imagine what terrible things had happened to him to cause them. He brought one hand up to caress her cheek.
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“You have every right to hate me, Jo. I can imagine what you thought when I left. What you still think.” Something snapped inside her. She wanted to scream, to rage, to pour out all the pain she’d stored up for four years. She beat at him with her fists. “Damn you, Sean. Where did you go? Why did you disappear? Do you know how hurt I was? How sick with betrayal?” Sorrow clouded his eyes. “I know. At least, I can imagine.” “And your stupid boss wouldn’t tell me anything. He said you’d been transferred to another office and if you wanted to get in touch with me you would.” She pounded on his chest again. “Damn you to hell.” “You got your wish. That’s exactly where I was.” He shifted his gaze away from her. Her heartbeat stuttered at the look in his eyes. “I don’t understand. What do you mean?” “Let me fix that tea for you. Then I’ll tell you my story.” He handed her the mug with the hot liquid, wrapped a quilt around her, and sat in a large chair with her on his lap. He kept touching her. Her hair. Her cheek. The line of her neck. And his raspy, gravelly voice told her what he really did for a living and what had happened to him. By the time he was finished nausea bubbled in her belly while her throat tightened and her heart ached for what he’d endured. She burrowed against him— chilled despite the hot tea and quilt. The horrors he described, the years of torture, were almost too much for her to hear. “But after they found you and rescued you, why didn’t you call me?” “Jo, I didn’t want you to see me the way I was. I could barely stand up on two feet. I had wounds that had become infected. I was dehydrated.” He closed his eyes. “For a while the docs weren’t even sure I’d make it.”
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Desiree Holt She leaned against him, her head on his shoulder. “You don’t know how glad I am you did.” “And you don’t know how scared I was when I contacted Kira. She hung up on me when I
called. I went to see her and literally forced her to talk to me. I wanted to do this on your birthday, for obvious reasons.” “She must have believed you, if she went to all the trouble of helping you arrange tonight.” He grinned at her. “So, did I make up for all the lost celebrations? Was this a good birthday present?” “The best.” She snuggled into him. “You know, I kept thinking to myself that Kira and Jason must have really prepped the Dom because he knew all the things I liked.” “I might have something else for you if you’re my good girl.” “Always.” She paused. “So what happens now? Do you go back to work for the same agency?” “Hell, no,” he snorted. “I don’t think I’ve got nine lives like a cat. I’m not taking those kind of chances again.” “Then what will you do?” He slightly shifted. “Remember my friend Will Pearson?” “The attorney?” “Uh huh. He’s convinced me to dust off my law degree and start practicing law for real.” “Oh, Sean.” She leaned down to set the mug on the floor, leaving her free to tightly hug him against her. He brushed his mouth over hers. “Does that yes you gave me four years ago still hold? Still want to marry me?”
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“Just try to get away from me,” she teased. “In that case, I have another birthday present for you.” He stood her on her feet and went to the table against the wall, picking up a flat jeweler’s box. She winced as she saw his back, crisscrossed with scars. God only knew the pain he’d suffered. Then she forgot as he carried the box over to her. When he flipped open the cover she gasped at the sight of the necklace lying there. Thin links of gold were connected by tiny emeralds set in gold rings. At the center, where it would lay against her throat, was a larger emerald. A teardrop. A collar. The symbol of ownership. Tears filled her eyes. The ring he’d given her the first time he asked her to marry him had been an emerald. But the collar was so much more, an indication to the D/s community that she was permanently his forever. Sean lifted the trinket out of the box and motioned for her to turn around. The collar lay smooth and snug against her skin. His fingers trembled as he fastened the clasp. He kissed her neck and shoulders before turning her to face him. “Thinking about you was the only thing that kept me sane,” he told her. “The only thing that helped me bear the pain. You lived in all my dreams, Jo.” “But now I can live in your days as well as your nights.” “Always,” he told her. His mouth took hers in a scorching kiss, his tongue a flame heating her mouth. She sank into the kiss, wrapping her arms around him, knowing that she’d hang onto him for dear life. Forever. THE END
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About the Author Desiree Holt’s writing is flavored with the rich experiences of her life, including a long stretch in the music business representing every kind of artist from country singer to heavy metal rock bands. For several years she also ran her own public relations agency handling any client that interested her, many of whom might recognize themselves in the pages of her stories. She is twice a finalist for an EPIC E-Book Award, a nominee for a Romantic Times Reviewers Choice Award, winner of the first 5 Heart Sweetheart of the Year Award at The Romance Studio as well as twice a CAPA Award for best BDSM book of the year, winner of the Holt Medallion, multiple winner of the Whipped Cream Book of the Week Award and is published by five different houses. Romance Junkies said of her work: “Desiree Holt is the most amazing erotica author of our time and each story is more fulfilling then the last.” You can find her at www.desireeholt.com www.desireeholttellsall.com www.facebook.com/desiree holt Twitter @desireeholt.com
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Secret Cravings Publishing www.secretcravingspublishing.com
